subreddit,author,date,post,automated_readability_index,coleman_liau_index,flesch_kincaid_grade_level,flesch_reading_ease,gulpease_index,gunning_fog_index,lix,smog_index,wiener_sachtextformel,n_chars,n_long_words,n_monosyllable_words,n_polysyllable_words,n_sents,n_syllables,n_unique_words,n_words,sent_neg,sent_neu,sent_pos,sent_compound,economic_stress_total,isolation_total,substance_use_total,guns_total,domestic_stress_total,suicidality_total,punctuation,liwc_1st_pers,liwc_2nd_pers,liwc_3rd_pers,liwc_achievement,liwc_adverbs,liwc_affective_processes,liwc_anger,liwc_anxiety,liwc_articles_article,liwc_assent,liwc_auxiliary_verbs,liwc_biological,liwc_body,liwc_causation,liwc_certainty,liwc_cognitive,liwc_common_verbs,liwc_conjunctions,liwc_death,liwc_discrepancy,liwc_exclusive,liwc_family,liwc_feel,liwc_fillers,liwc_friends,liwc_future_tense,liwc_health,liwc_hear,liwc_home,liwc_humans,liwc_impersonal_pronouns,liwc_inclusive,liwc_ingestion,liwc_inhibition,liwc_insight,liwc_leisure,liwc_money,liwc_motion,liwc_negations,liwc_negative_emotion,liwc_nonfluencies,liwc_numbers,liwc_past_tense,liwc_perceptual_processes,liwc_personal_pronouns,liwc_positive_emotion,liwc_prepositions,liwc_present_tense,liwc_quantifiers,liwc_relativity,liwc_religion,liwc_sadness,liwc_see,liwc_sexual,liwc_social_processes,liwc_space,liwc_swear_words,liwc_tentative,liwc_time,liwc_total_functional,liwc_total_pronouns,liwc_work,tfidf_abl,tfidf_abus,tfidf_actual,tfidf_addict,tfidf_adhd,tfidf_advic,tfidf_ago,tfidf_alcohol,tfidf_almost,tfidf_alon,tfidf_alreadi,tfidf_also,tfidf_alway,tfidf_amp,tfidf_amp x200b,tfidf_ani,tfidf_anoth,tfidf_anxieti,tfidf_anxious,tfidf_anymor,tfidf_anyon,tfidf_anyon els,tfidf_anyth,tfidf_around,tfidf_ask,tfidf_attack,tfidf_away,tfidf_back,tfidf_bad,tfidf_becaus,tfidf_becom,tfidf_befor,tfidf_believ,tfidf_best,tfidf_better,tfidf_bit,tfidf_bodi,tfidf_bpd,tfidf_brain,tfidf_call,tfidf_came,tfidf_care,tfidf_caus,tfidf_chang,tfidf_come,tfidf_complet,tfidf_constant,tfidf_control,tfidf_could,tfidf_coupl,tfidf_cri,tfidf_day,tfidf_deal,tfidf_depress,tfidf_diagnos,tfidf_die,tfidf_differ,tfidf_disord,tfidf_doctor,tfidf_doe,tfidf_done,tfidf_dont,tfidf_drink,tfidf_drug,tfidf_eat,tfidf_els,tfidf_emot,tfidf_end,tfidf_enough,tfidf_etc,tfidf_even,tfidf_ever,tfidf_everi,tfidf_everyon,tfidf_everyth,tfidf_experi,tfidf_famili,tfidf_fear,tfidf_feel,tfidf_feel like,tfidf_felt,tfidf_final,tfidf_find,tfidf_first,tfidf_food,tfidf_found,tfidf_friend,tfidf_fuck,tfidf_get,tfidf_give,tfidf_go,tfidf_good,tfidf_got,tfidf_great,tfidf_guess,tfidf_guy,tfidf_happen,tfidf_happi,tfidf_hard,tfidf_hate,tfidf_head,tfidf_health,tfidf_hear,tfidf_heart,tfidf_help,tfidf_high,tfidf_home,tfidf_hope,tfidf_hour,tfidf_hous,tfidf_hurt,tfidf_idea,tfidf_im,tfidf_issu,tfidf_job,tfidf_keep,tfidf_kill,tfidf_kind,tfidf_know,tfidf_last,tfidf_late,tfidf_leav,tfidf_left,tfidf_let,tfidf_life,tfidf_like,tfidf_littl,tfidf_live,tfidf_long,tfidf_look,tfidf_lose,tfidf_lost,tfidf_lot,tfidf_love,tfidf_made,tfidf_make,tfidf_mani,tfidf_mayb,tfidf_mean,tfidf_med,tfidf_medic,tfidf_mental,tfidf_might,tfidf_mind,tfidf_mom,tfidf_month,tfidf_move,tfidf_much,tfidf_need,tfidf_never,tfidf_new,tfidf_next,tfidf_night,tfidf_normal,tfidf_noth,tfidf_notic,tfidf_old,tfidf_onc,tfidf_one,tfidf_onli,tfidf_pain,tfidf_panic,tfidf_parent,tfidf_part,tfidf_past,tfidf_peopl,tfidf_person,tfidf_place,tfidf_pleas,tfidf_point,tfidf_possibl,tfidf_post,tfidf_pretti,tfidf_probabl,tfidf_problem,tfidf_ptsd,tfidf_put,tfidf_question,tfidf_quit,tfidf_read,tfidf_real,tfidf_realli,tfidf_reason,tfidf_recent,tfidf_relationship,tfidf_rememb,tfidf_right,tfidf_said,tfidf_say,tfidf_scare,tfidf_school,tfidf_see,tfidf_seem,tfidf_self,tfidf_sever,tfidf_shit,tfidf_sinc,tfidf_situat,tfidf_sleep,tfidf_social,tfidf_someon,tfidf_someth,tfidf_sometim,tfidf_sorri,tfidf_start,tfidf_stay,tfidf_still,tfidf_stop,tfidf_stress,tfidf_struggl,tfidf_stuff,tfidf_suicid,tfidf_support,tfidf_sure,tfidf_symptom,tfidf_take,tfidf_talk,tfidf_tell,tfidf_thank,tfidf_therapi,tfidf_therapist,tfidf_thing,tfidf_think,tfidf_though,tfidf_thought,tfidf_time,tfidf_tire,tfidf_today,tfidf_told,tfidf_took,tfidf_tri,tfidf_turn,tfidf_two,tfidf_understand,tfidf_us,tfidf_use,tfidf_usual,tfidf_veri,tfidf_want,tfidf_way,tfidf_week,tfidf_weight,tfidf_well,tfidf_went,tfidf_whi,tfidf_whole,tfidf_wish,tfidf_without,tfidf_wonder,tfidf_work,tfidf_worri,tfidf_wors,tfidf_would,tfidf_wrong,tfidf_x200b,tfidf_year
mentalhealth,kbskbskbs,2019/01/01,"I feel like I have lost myself. I F(22) have been going through about a week of rough anxiety/depression. I havent been at work much because I am currently transitioning jobs. My new job will be 40 hours a week and will keep me financially stable, but right now I have a lot of free time, and nothing to do with it. This girl I have been seeing for about a month and a half left for the new year and is quite a few states away. She and I talked before she left about how she feels guilty that the past few days she hadnt been able to spend time with me but also she doesnt want to be in a relationship right at this moment because she knows she's being selfish because for once she's enjoying time alone and not being someone's wife or girlfriend or whatever else. So it got me thinking, and since I recently graduated college, I have lost my identity of student. I have a huge personality and people love that about me, but the past week I feel like my semi truck bright headlights of a personality has turned into one of those clip on book lights used to read at night. I'm stuck indoors all day because of lack of money, in just laying around because I'm not sure what to do. I tried going out for a walk but then cried once coming back into my apartment. I know things will change once the girl I am dating comes back into town, but I just feel like my heart hurts constantly and I just want to cry. I feel weepy and gross. I'm happy to be going to work tomorrow so I can interact with society even though I have had friends calling me and messaging me all day. I just feel lost and like I have no hobbies. Idk what its like to not be a student working and busy all the time. I should be excited for free time, but instead I'm upset and depressed about it. How do you discover your hobbies and do things to entertain yourself that doesn't cost money? I feel like I'm in a depressive nightmare and I just want to wake up. ",5.330973824312332,5.232630637755103,5.837058562555459,83.5700532386868,67.87755102040815,9.0622892635315,29.288376220053237,8.716276077567194,1.9543889529724927,1518,48,323,22,23,491,188,392,0.15,0.708,0.142,0.4035,3,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,7,22,25,0,1,17,0,37,3,2,3,4,66,70,31,0,5,16,1,8,6,2,4,0,0,0,4,14,26,0,1,10,3,6,6,8,9,0,2,11,11,47,18,46,48,8,57,0,6,2,1,23,21,0,3,35,216,61,11,0.07811386990581821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090241131186081,0.0,0.062467633541918935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953790531831464,0.0,0.0,0.07339055212787349,0.12012948855227945,0.0,0.2380874503392953,0.0,0.06646914993147891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976299482806863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263411683083191,0.1345763644982608,0.0,0.08441334290750631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716088362935762,0.15113095167008794,0.0,0.2018380850655192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525411495345146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05159347436334013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764770377849207,0.22321825707442294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06035058211940285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318173720694465,0.0,0.062474797601501326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315366703625225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256531194201437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692642701637972,0.0,0.08362251332366323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550319254273357,0.06943119668781311,0.0,0.0,0.08585868009211174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974189642154033,0.0,0.0,0.2289749469120468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558115494291221,0.0664096188155044,0.07050081735910052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623497457090347,0.0,0.05742268227784252,0.0,0.0,0.15088572462674407,0.0,0.07330457532794292,0.0,0.0749523649173541,0.0,0.0,0.24956616626631414,0.052931979851025164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913705518743758,0.05415432193922735,0.1364120364186831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308371587113997,0.07813500862838191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771280228045134,0.08386506297911042,0.0,0.13341763618526958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062246640878107315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461660039255154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618562848211078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362139794655563,0.0,0.0,0.06278496972949399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379076842569117,0.050052213735822915,0.07674648057668626,0.0,0.2277441285859212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303419013696355,0.08496545949512264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674653033456498,0.0,0.0,0.1382207529931028,0.0,0.1879747040473473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17060348286940835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030277115552167
mentalhealth,thatgirlambz,2019/01/01,"Sleep advice/recommendations Okay so, I have a really hard time regulating my sleep patterm. I often stay up all night and sleep all day. I can manage to get on a normal pattern for a few days (maybe a week max), and then I'll have one night where I can't sleep and I just fall back into the bad pattern. I usually sleep around 8-9 hours either way, so I'm not sleeping too much or too little, it's just *when* I'm sleeping that's the issue. It's really holding me back from doing things I need to do, such as getting a job and making/going to appointments. 

As a bit of background, I'm diagnosed bipolar 2, BPD, and PTSD, with a pending diagnosis of Binge Eating Disorder. I'm not currently on medication or in treatment because I moved recently and had to wait for my insurance to switch over. Now I'm waiting on the mental health agency to call me to schedule appointments (they're pretty booked right now). In the meantime, I really need to try to hold it together as much as possible, and this sleep issue isn't helping the cause.

I had my roommate bring me some zzzQuil, but I'm not sure if I should take it. For one, I've been cautioned against taking OTC meds without asking a doctor in the past because they affected my mood; however, this was when I was on my psych meds, so it could've been a medication interaction. I'm also concerned that the zzzQuil might not work and that my mind/body might just fight it since I already slept all day. Even in the past, I've had this issue with prescribed sleep aids.

Should I just bite the bullet and take it? Is there anything else I could be doing to make this easier on myself?

Any help is appreciated!",4.7297955236253095,5.543528507598786,5.7364976512848855,80.5704220779221,69.3951367781155,8.778170765404807,28.936308372478585,8.97023862654752,2.2272541033434647,1305,46,258,23,22,432,178,329,0.049,0.897,0.055,0.7014,3,0,0,0,1,0,43.0,0,0,1,1,22,5,1,0,18,1,23,17,10,3,4,48,43,24,0,7,14,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,0,15,13,1,4,0,1,0,3,7,2,0,2,8,1,26,2,37,29,9,42,0,0,0,0,7,16,0,7,21,168,41,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209053598935932,0.05948916418705814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058733261755975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061216125343800075,0.06622232398045548,0.06954403300437413,0.0,0.0,0.11440169033133415,0.06211202910166744,0.09069415709245897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121394157260887,0.08262983668010906,0.09369082609259173,0.0,0.0759598791619709,0.0,0.0,0.07641838973836496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187877413640966,0.0,0.0,0.1439249974407151,0.0,0.0,0.07550365973679678,0.0,0.0,0.08525667983023785,0.07614068754038995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611891203011938,0.062142785603396984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049133487109318655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773076654922947,0.0,0.04227720171334762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666382772598242,0.0,0.0,0.07907243748930486,0.0,0.0,0.09972327320579168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325855947512783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232929572438124,0.07381998599157448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455770641062634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965549202929463,0.0,0.07473413569304478,0.0,0.16525967336021813,0.14987895814894614,0.07496700335706401,0.1578307633341204,0.07511207266693791,0.0,0.0,0.07906414342357591,0.10936951443167828,0.110317572561115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961879681003864,0.0728858027894425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081634477126884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202617034413892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386285420602088,0.0,0.07568074785734266,0.0,0.0,0.08695721004668548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296723434869485,0.0,0.0734505431354606,0.0,0.0,0.06352812820377314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06153566786522359,0.0,0.6699879717516438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928918642570991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011111485733502,0.0,0.16779467859829728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04942100183636314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04337704852864244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05050550926454332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192939775729605,0.0,0.0,0.05904683115174635,0.05967067742680063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170871240239303,0.0,0.0541563581428755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ninja-boy98,2019/01/01,"I feel ashamed that I was the way i was most of my teenage years (on mobile sorry for formatting/spelling) So since middle school ive had some major depression, anxiety and adhd. And it's always held me back from ever making friends, I never had a ""group/squad"". I was that one loner who ate lunch by the bathrooms. And I hate that i was that way, I feel as if I have missed so much and wasted so much of my teenage years because of who I was. I want to go back with the knowledge and courage I have now so I could get a taste of what the other teenagers around me had. I dont know why I'm postung this, I dont know what I want out of this. I just want to get this out of my head",1.9413943488943488,2.778263520270272,3.2910565110565138,95.43133906633908,75.95945945945945,6.192628992628992,22.914004914004913,6.11248444174946,0.16561351351351394,523,14,128,3,11,171,83,148,0.153,0.775,0.073,-0.9055,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,1,1,6,0,14,4,1,1,2,26,30,11,0,5,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,13,9,3,1,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,10,3,23,2,17,19,5,15,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,3,7,93,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032572114404532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072681354296776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293813253032091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055846019654248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26009570949595184,0.0,0.10309795715334573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350337647111408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14566842432856414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3964300449984447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298462051599565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103090094964635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306667302425799,0.0,0.17672325309819806,0.0,0.09611849915232264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697742467413987,0.17357260308948086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589502531033644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289326575791472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486549051062729,0.0,0.13044079896954738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460450735529733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116506803338294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990320550647342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932329316662275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29926561121718537,0.268489519646454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261037885137788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178238684103621
mentalhealth,50storms,2019/01/01,"I really hate the fact that depression and suicide are being romanticized (mostly) by teens and now i can't open up about my depression without feeling like I'll be seen as one of ""those"" people Another thing, just because someone is young doesn't mean they can't be depressed",7.525897435897432,7.820826461538463,7.508461538461539,72.10320512820513,63.23076923076921,10.77948717948718,36.56410256410256,10.504223727775694,3.9883256410256402,224,10,38,5,3,72,44,52,0.313,0.613,0.07400000000000001,-0.941,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,6,1,0,1,0,8,0,0,0,1,9,12,3,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,2,4,2,6,8,1,4,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,1,3,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625667104098576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526417935399126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6470086362207857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266099939927566,0.1788861354417097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472186092400109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233301434183347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727595034486338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696778290616498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735961474861743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041294366352882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21216349336511645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738974566787131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635493620942485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413771035410872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HuneyThBeb,2019/01/01,"What should I do I constantly go through these episodes. I'll got anxiety attacks over small things, and I won't be able to forget about them. It makes me feel alone and strange, no one around me can really relate to this. And example is today, I had a sudden flashback of a cartoon movie I saw on netflix. I didn't watch it, I merely skimmed over it and read the description. It was called golden age and I can't seem to find it. It looked really creepy and it caused me to spiral for reasons I don't know. It's so obscure, and that alone makes me all the more anxious. Usually with things like these, I feel the need to look into them, but it makes them stick longer, but it's the only way to get rid of them. I wish I wouldn't have to go through this and I could just drop things. ",3.0169427402863,4.06141441104295,3.6792791411042964,92.87736451942742,73.60122699386503,7.151124744376278,24.01278118609407,7.492282038375204,0.7712253578732109,611,17,140,7,12,193,98,163,0.101,0.8640000000000001,0.035,-0.5785,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,4,0,4,2,1,0,6,0,14,0,0,5,1,32,30,11,0,5,3,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,19,11,0,0,6,2,0,2,6,1,0,1,5,6,21,1,19,20,2,15,0,0,4,0,5,6,0,2,6,95,40,1,0.16068972065073048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328521782200195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292719647070202,0.1815336458248029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304791957829555,0.0,0.1828077551614784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408217097221733,0.0,0.0,0.16507260712902108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736485019543397,0.0,0.12829766649803545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624991018937791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468674935350248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395374681636902,0.0,0.1826473426837514,0.0,0.1285182488897331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831086807039787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785048807586391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26987778921263456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217849089314781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914939177045945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088875133955922,0.12221177351101345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073320557124166,0.0,0.20588389948863056,0.1652157956641329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628588659658606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202653306875797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523150662210259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697702522404388,0.0,0.0,0.12754802076171587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847852484688077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rainlove99,2019/01/01,Is creepy the same as mentally unstable? which  is worse?,2.265000000000001,4.741069500000002,2.8800000000000026,83.32000000000005,104.0,10.0,25.0,8.841846274778883,3.809000000000001,45,2,8,2,2,14,9,10,0.4270000000000001,0.573,0.0,-0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7031463862747226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7110451177448577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,G_Merls,2019/01/01,"I think I’ve let my anxiety get the best of me - Vent I’m 20, and I should be graduating community college next semester. That being said, I’ve never struggled so much in school before. Sure, I had to retake one math class sophomore year in high school, but this has been awful. I’m scared to succeed and I don’t know what to do or what’s going to happen. Classes start next week, and not only am I severely late on payments, but I haven’t even registered yet. I failed my algebra (which was my final time allowed to take it) and creative writing courses last semester, because I skipped one time and was petrified to go back because I didn’t want to be chastised. My parents don’t know anything, even though I live with them for the same reason. I’m terribly confused on what I even want to do with my life and any time I think about it I feel ill. I’m just lost, and I feel alone. If I tell anyone I know how bad it is, I’d feel like a burden. My brain runs on imaginative scenes of me running away from everything, but I know that’s not an option. I just wish I hadn’t messed everything up.  I told my parents I had a meeting with an advisor tomorrow, which is a lie, just because they keep pestering me. A dreaded letter is most likely to come about my grades, and late payments, and I’m losing sleep over facing the consequences of my own actions. I wish I didn’t sound as though I was hiding behind my anxiety as an excuse, because that’s what my parents seem to think I do. My anxiety is a reason for doing these things, but that doesn’t mean I should have done them. ",5.593021806853585,5.1436355451713425,6.399890965732088,80.94164330218072,67.38006230529595,9.500934579439251,31.852024922118375,8.998388855275968,2.4726211838006225,1234,45,255,19,18,409,167,321,0.197,0.71,0.094,-0.9905,4,1,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,3,5,14,16,0,4,11,1,31,5,3,4,2,55,63,21,0,7,11,3,3,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,16,13,0,1,15,0,0,6,10,11,0,2,13,5,44,5,32,44,5,31,0,3,0,0,13,9,0,6,18,171,60,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879709782318867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486966996666296,0.0,0.218923312801367,0.0,0.0,0.06670013866239677,0.0,0.07849929304854779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962370144846765,0.07335037756908729,0.07964813759297384,0.23259973333523035,0.0,0.08117136438233405,0.0,0.10010777007016154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648875546426197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217155726528096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976188928673223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901607941192966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714639313858799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469882473205098,0.06814789455129099,0.0,0.10449701365996512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04983825902053933,0.0,0.10842667444011173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435462098961145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007866349865059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478858194602741,0.0,0.0,0.20969927295075874,0.07775701861847427,0.2152121272858364,0.0,0.0,0.09754454066278227,0.06737802328035619,0.093207193960824,0.0,0.08423267439195374,0.0,0.0,0.10671898253514144,0.104131377806227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390959496655294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012392172595433,0.0,0.0735720083454789,0.0,0.20290044430457055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292798547414891,0.07254973428313753,0.0,0.0,0.31776379189061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19615723969065552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073941111213912,0.0,0.09550379599609088,0.1930831137694343,0.0,0.08684107837612788,0.0,0.10776554001036387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546065379589308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067518780833989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972418246559482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990560771752182,0.0,0.07172273412873806,0.0,0.08337660542894085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633740486533162,0.18336956995002224,0.18744384564489994,0.0,0.16687111238619964,0.0,0.0,0.09115091747593264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252906667197896,0.0,0.07651751834055259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21939163945849152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142916783372745
mentalhealth,Knitaplease,2019/01/01,"Struggling I'm in the US but don't need resources. Just advice and support, I guess. 2018 was a great year for me. I got married to the most amazing man I've ever met after being together for 4 years. I graduated nursing school and became a registered nurse at a hospital I really like. Well, then I ran out of one of my medications. I thought I would be fine. It's just one med, ya know? Well, I feel horrible mentally. I'm afraid this is putting a strain on my marriage. I'm worried about losing my job if I take time off, as I've already taken one leave for a hospitalization (I have one more 4 week leave available and I have 2.5/6 occurrences right now). I self-harmed the other night and I haven't done that for years. I don't know what to do. Shit is spiraling out of control. I'm going to call my psychiatrist in the morning. I just feel like I SHOULDN'T feel this way. I'm a psychiatric registered nurse. I'm the one who HELPS people when they feel like this. ",1.4071259366690825,3.699064167512688,3.222886149383612,88.66460236886633,82.4517766497462,6.595020546289582,23.59415035049553,7.793537801064563,1.2562363548465072,759,28,160,14,21,253,117,197,0.106,0.703,0.19,0.9686,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,1,1,2,9,14,1,3,11,0,14,2,1,1,1,25,36,9,0,4,5,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,8,6,0,1,7,0,0,3,4,5,2,5,7,4,24,9,20,25,2,23,0,1,0,0,9,8,1,3,14,99,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262960209812558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848384982128342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814164716469542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075026109503527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842217083216642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351495041714615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538106664005354,0.1793034175835847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132015380791559,0.0,0.10036763900595372,0.13835568000631895,0.13824389282578928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411482897436404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453172257507912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793454864759178,0.0,0.0,0.26575640642592496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392756515727754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039375989225816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939363113731698,0.12642026807060605,0.12646670056822376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305093435607628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177660022354824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4251840781818267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700054491857935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615440103168035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039356698184719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071697201092574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270048854938682,0.0,0.0,0.1309158152614688,0.0,0.12881602044574988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119177671991195,0.0,0.0,0.1424071504224757,0.0,0.0,0.0943545756798287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962685145751388,0.07317555674030049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150951759506134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960992944060006,0.10066233618670024,0.0,0.2256652586679371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744350029556928,0.0,0.08914611405412569,0.0,0.0,0.24243873866740656
mentalhealth,EvenAnalyst,2019/01/01,"I (24 M) - Still obsessed with my high school crush I graduated from high school about 5 years ago, I was a shy guy who was not so popular, bullied by some and a bit weird, I had a few friends but did not really mix with the girls. However, there was this one blonde girl in my biology class who made my heart drop every time I looked at her, I had a huge crush on her but we never really spoke, I had always seen her as way out of my league, she was beautiful, smart, hard working, kind, shy, polite, and came from a much wealthier family than mine. I on the other hand was just not that. After high school we each went our separate ways for post secondary school. Fast forward 5 years, just graduated and working. I still have not been able to keep her off my mind, now more than ever as she has moved close to my area. I have been spending countless hours day dreaming and thinking about being with her and loving her, I creep her facebook constantly and google her to learn more about her, heck I also listen to love-ish songs in the car while thinking of her, if I'm watching a movie I'd daydream about her being with me and cuddling together, If i'm going on a drive I daydream about holding her hand. I have yet to get a girlfriend , so that may play a role in my inability to move on. I really feel like this is unhealthy because I am just obsessing over someone I have barely had any contact with.",5.70516459074733,5.427097654804271,6.082862544483987,82.73219417259787,67.11387900355872,9.302580071174377,30.018016014234878,8.841846274778883,2.113834341637011,1095,35,229,16,16,353,163,281,0.092,0.754,0.155,0.9794,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,3,0,0,2,17,10,0,2,12,0,22,5,3,1,2,41,38,17,0,2,11,0,4,1,2,1,0,3,0,3,7,18,0,2,4,3,1,8,5,3,0,1,17,11,43,7,38,18,7,45,0,0,4,2,29,18,1,4,18,158,50,11,0.11614744228755315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295769965226076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288306763444114,0.09664397636085267,0.0,0.0,0.07898424362104209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080240277690879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268029250541941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284173194528254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255141229780341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490549163730986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050620111156544,0.09785922952537317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949347173105567,0.0,0.05872763666074968,0.08297575597758428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973522579517572,0.0,0.06068224478635152,0.0,0.06600926807087433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500422853954125,0.0,0.0,0.10404529460700394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763527833888148,0.0,0.3681484491416506,0.0,0.0,0.11438183453265495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032371833577902,0.0,0.12094968789252195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056743773467776114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753459904071472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20965520272684748,0.10990151822015012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727580679649252,0.0,0.0,0.2468926999202581,0.08538173417734418,0.0,0.0895800677548534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870451281347861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123714359300238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22322107696392404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4701896496440247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841135093754737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18551099488921505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14884518237939098,0.0,0.0,0.06772650763086091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18438486693885084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766984263199232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911344258939995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495902895794124
mentalhealth,mercurymuse,2019/01/01,"I have to leave my friends to rediscover my true personality (no clue if this is the right place to post, I just needed to vent. Feel free to link better subreddits for this, thank you.)



As soon as I start getting comfortable around a new social circle, I feel like I lose a huge part of my personality. 

Because of this, I often feel the need to leave and find new friends just to “rediscover” myself. and the worst part is that it actually helps. I usually come back to the original friend circle once I feel more like myself, but, I always feel like they don’t trust me as much as before because of my sudden absences. 

I feel like I’m constantly taking one step forward and four steps back. Does anyone else feel this way? Any comments are highly appreciated.",5.309655172413795,6.489111862068968,6.015344827586207,77.7616379310345,68.3103448275862,8.83448275862069,27.603448275862068,9.120678840339163,2.1459517241379307,600,19,114,11,10,196,90,145,0.042,0.6990000000000001,0.259,0.9836,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,2,7,15,0,0,6,0,5,0,0,1,1,23,20,9,0,3,4,0,7,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,9,0,1,4,2,2,0,2,0,7,19,14,17,20,5,21,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,2,15,72,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.11283059192796174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620693562667867,0.0,0.0,0.07862706324498403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808457330483203,0.11846861110171107,0.0,0.10292827445963612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781267514177138,0.0,0.14096444419336684,0.0,0.09838597921418928,0.0,0.0,0.10225844307094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995982904392204,0.0,0.12494652646016415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118176946087792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965875147202706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40923442109232655,0.33040210117612834,0.0,0.0,0.1056765993405298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26798828286888315,0.0,0.06040782920649448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749912580513163,0.12216120611382192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448544379897571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259486733387554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935167071981574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499562324529203,0.1714647977265562,0.0,0.2233372892860529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313387324372432,0.07834859742839165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25041515821206844,0.0,0.0,0.2019136967072564,0.1208005937423467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073411003898363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874073005342963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786227583683792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818379907526353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693350768304457,0.0,0.0,0.10644939066431416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734152219068146,0.0,0.0,0.09177552338018903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yeetskeetmahdeet,2019/01/01,"I need help So currently im struggling with depression anxiety, and im on medication for it. I did miss it yesterday, however. Today I was playing a game I lost so I threw the conteoller at my tv and broke the tv. Then i went and put away all my gaming things into a box while telling myself ""im cleaning up all of my baby things"" then I went on to delete all of my music, pictures, and documents form my laptop (they were backed up a while ago so dont worry). Then deleted everthing from my phone. What did I just do I felt like my brain ceased up all thoughts except for pack away things. This did happen around 2 months ago too. The only similarity is that my antidepressants were low (im on 40mg now but before it was 20mg) am I a freak?",1.7172077922077946,3.5397940974025985,3.7948051948051966,87.44792207792213,78.80519480519482,7.257142857142857,22.688311688311693,8.192908349453996,1.1868623376623382,577,18,126,11,14,197,95,154,0.113,0.845,0.043,-0.8373,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,8,9,0,1,7,0,11,2,1,0,4,17,20,13,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,9,7,0,0,2,5,0,4,1,7,0,0,13,1,20,2,19,7,5,29,0,5,0,0,6,12,0,0,14,88,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492374286912521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754592704783572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251490440276872,0.0,0.0,0.2641654906751545,0.10809996780197192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962613100263587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693758394244647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108428862742815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476271439892065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498212402844015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431744886842315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423009914828774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6074168461629049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868195502188879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346340347635892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162299965297398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122123399480651,0.0,0.0,0.10424082028254728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692002140905096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132516064237732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469683084242495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287610045111283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801921208565632,0.0,0.0,0.11160752753280204,0.0,0.0,0.13325663864787535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606444667647571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276928117295892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DevinMitchell,2019/01/01,"I am not sure what is wrong with me...HELP Hello Everyone, 

This is my first reddit post. I feel that I have reached a point in life where my mental health has gotten out of control. I am constantly anxious, ridden with guilt, and worried.  

A little back story before I begin. I am currently in my last year of college. During my sophomore year of college I had a very bad experience. One night during the fall semester, I smoked a bowl of marijuana with a few fellow students.  I didn’t know these people very well.  However, in an attempt to fit in I joined them in smoking. At first I felt fine and the evening was going good. Then out of no where the drug kicked in and made me feel horrible. My heart was racing and I felt like I was going to die. The whole experience was like nothing I had expletives before. The next day I felt a little off, but overall fine. Cut to a month later is when things get bad. One night while laying in bed I began to think about my bad drug experience. These memories sent me into a full fledged panic attack. I had never really experienced a panic attack before so I thought I was going crazy. 

Ever since this panic attack I have obsessed about the thought of going crazy. In 2018 I googled hundreds possibly thousands of times about things such as psychosis, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and a plethora of other illnesses. I stay in a constant loop of worrying about having a serious mental disorder.  I worry that I am loosing touch with reality. Also, for the whole duration of 2018, I have experienced depersonalization and derealization. This past year has been mentally taxing and draining. I constantly am asking family members if I seem “normal” and coherent. 

I have always had obsessive traits like repetitive thoughts, scrupolicity, and guilt. I am wondering if I am simply obsessing that something is wrong with me or if something is actually wrong? ",4.606982758620688,7.194426637931037,5.706997126436787,73.51584051724139,72.85057471264369,8.602873563218392,29.55316091954023,9.271962702966755,3.1210298850574714,1522,65,245,37,32,503,187,348,0.269,0.687,0.044,-0.998,3,0,5,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,1,4,14,27,4,8,20,0,30,6,1,2,3,41,53,20,1,4,6,0,6,3,1,0,5,0,1,1,12,17,0,1,12,0,1,7,4,19,1,5,21,8,40,8,39,32,4,57,0,0,0,0,6,21,0,6,30,179,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.07289041327251691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973263698352994,0.06215125860536395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438277861560563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982865761500506,0.2549250789778262,0.0,0.05743495250140378,0.1870987096897632,0.0,0.0,0.19067686952459292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421525171948469,0.08377549307677523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048171347630912985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752041344141172,0.0,0.17121122397038258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324228170341954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0493345769661084,0.06756485472066774,0.0,0.07137316519957364,0.0,0.21919472487901406,0.07041470491390599,0.0,0.0755348997594143,0.0,0.2151534003131488,0.0,0.0,0.1270690845520988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03902444860493379,0.0,0.1698009227147453,0.06264964929437715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939605924029848,0.0,0.08851256021711147,0.05006570657540705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04104978113494257,0.06088544897804279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275846825874614,0.10947491210021734,0.14972570121667336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067711757345994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22582146808400236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596199105886406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057608494254517625,0.0,0.07943774638494845,0.1401902181665815,0.07318410434520882,0.07167075412999302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122895835774223,0.0,0.0,0.2629113831948926,0.0,0.0,0.07130372220940567,0.051783303929936415,0.06521978014513208,0.0,0.0,0.07060982212652997,0.08420608181583303,0.07153605158128759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785078664655188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799846677006888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061787516438701534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500593471996455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961369527051969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039806037810913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924653682379564,0.0478607967644186,0.0,0.17789569709368594,0.043554578864667216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326048139456493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715873266636271,0.0,0.0,0.16678601011811675,0.0,0.0,0.08100228341910326,0.0,0.22756566119936095,0.0,0.0,0.2449979657127119,0.0,0.14430115237271024
mentalhealth,ilmar18132,2019/01/01,"Is this self-harm? I have some problems with punishing myself for bad things happening around me. It’s mostly psychological punishments, but I also tend to hit myself, mostly the leg, and it is to the extent that it gets sore for a couple of days.

My parents kinda know that I do this, and my dad reacted quite seriously to it, while my mom thought he overreacted, and dismissed the potential seriousness with my support. 

I want to point out that I’m not addicted to it, and it only happens when I’m angry/frustrated enough. ",6.65909090909091,7.172672636363636,7.651060606060607,69.59659090909093,65.06060606060606,11.044444444444444,33.671717171717184,10.864195022040775,3.849759595959596,417,17,73,11,6,141,68,99,0.184,0.768,0.049,-0.8977,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,2,0,4,0,4,3,1,1,0,19,15,8,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,11,1,12,13,5,6,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,3,56,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459414178579751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804152593691382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083519276541045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18836973074768207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496262887662486,0.0,0.14549577276135345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331090098625435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786866229826815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39900135077452464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398593607292235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642244175675291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158183889457393,0.0,0.0,0.2505062965216861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21326849133546816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21587234662473684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23995738750347806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353539423022047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25601249319658936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498811251836322,0.0,0.0,0.17910419915922215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306695316977846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InsideTheMind____,2019/01/01,"21M FIRST POST, HERE TO VENT, ALL HELP APPRECIATED, THANK YOU ALL. Hi guys never posted here before however I am in a very dark place right now with my life and don't really know how to start this but for a while now I have felt very low and have felt as if I am becoming a different person as I no longer find happiness in myself as I did before, I am a university student also working in retail as well as recently being signed to a modelling agency and I often feel as if I have to put a happy face on everyday and I am honestly tired of having to do this it is physically as well as mentally draining. This feeling came around I would say at least a year ago and I kind of thought that it would pass as everyone does go through periods in their life were they feel low however it seems to have stayed and feels like a black cloud hanging over me which feels worse some days more then others , I come from a very loving family and live with my Mother and Stepfather as well as my younger 3 half siblings, I am very grateful for the luxuries I have in my life however there is so much going on within me some days I often wake up feeling very down for no reason at all feeling very worthless and lonely even though my family are very supportive and caring I couldn't ask for a better family. 

​

I believe my mental health has worsened due to finding out through family members that my biological father has been diagnosed with cancer and I guess this has made me realise that life really is so short, as a youngster my biological father was unable to be there for me and my mother due to his lack of love or care and the biggest blessing was my mother marrying again to a man who I can happily refer to as a real father, also a very close family member to me who I once spent a lot of time with has  recently tried numerous times to take their own life and being so distant from them for so long has not been a good feeling and has made me feel quite lonely as I am already an individual who does not really have true friends as I struggle to trust people, there have been many times were I have been invited out by others and have had to make up excuses for reasons not to go. There have been times were I have contemplated taking my own life as the feeling of worthlessness and sadness was at its most high, this feeling is very hard to explain and I am just looking for a bit of clarity on maybe why I am feeling this way or if others have experienced something similar I really would appreciate any help at all.

To individuals at work and university and others I meet I am often commented on being a very outgoing individual with a lot of confidence however deep down I often feel as if inside I am a totally different person which really does make me wonder how I became to be like this. I feel as if I lack the routine I once had in my life before and some days waking up feels as if I am just going through the motions, not long ago I would read everyday and would love to keep a journal to put my thoughts to paper, I remember heading to the gym 5 times a week running twice a week being full of energy living life to the fullest appreciating each day with those around me, where has the old me gone?. Often I have been told by others I am a very good-looking individual and in playful ways people have said"" You love yourself don't you"" or "" you are so cocky"" as I very much take pride in my physical appearance and enjoy doing my best to look as good as I can, the truth is recently I have been struggling everyday to keep a positive mindset and do the things I enjoy, having to put a mask on everyday is a task which I have become very familiar with I just want to know if others have felt the same and I would really appreciate any help which can be given I don't want to give up I don't want to carry on feeling this way I want the suffering to end or at least made easier. Thank you for taking the time to read this I apologise for any grammatical mistakes it is quite late in the night right now. 

​

​",7.118659591787512,6.022883736711992,7.989420241792036,72.92672374807803,64.53770086526576,11.452633483071544,33.57595948023757,10.69950747042672,3.4156000542675384,3209,112,625,72,41,1089,315,809,0.09,0.706,0.204,0.9986,6,4,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,5,4,8,35,42,0,2,42,0,87,20,4,9,8,139,155,72,0,21,19,6,20,2,1,6,12,2,0,4,32,41,0,2,32,4,2,15,12,11,3,3,30,26,86,31,119,111,25,106,1,8,3,4,41,45,0,26,42,473,118,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367060499887755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585610724776108,0.06646177808840241,0.0,0.1350719169528062,0.1514787510317158,0.08477486918308108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739841189741377,0.038847579656487816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178672680199997,0.10607872370031984,0.04681736807272161,0.04360858274891408,0.0367513244440786,0.045366438041648124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04752694939068013,0.08473457899237334,0.0,0.0,0.035795274953169816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719611850880756,0.0,0.0,0.042176651385706636,0.0,0.08683061623737869,0.0,0.0,0.10909311521698993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03680469868688673,0.0,0.0,0.02744616571432118,0.0,0.0,0.03970683119404971,0.0,0.0,0.1958680684664375,0.0,0.3361769377182613,0.029686337999751712,0.119695682868651,0.0,0.07595959554784977,0.03534599226603137,0.0,0.0,0.03210468180801239,0.0,0.0,0.039862587476020214,0.09446486723652478,0.1045611067664872,0.0,0.0,0.045776650374382485,0.04114520391652488,0.0,0.0884704646621792,0.03722441268051448,0.0,0.04264661082764525,0.04417018515168969,0.0,0.0,0.08355873894797038,0.04390430741503129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387058745519916,0.0,0.04327231820234171,0.0456742173482195,0.0,0.04687496212699867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348077558111913,0.04060257887860192,0.0,0.073386262600983,0.07354834156600204,0.10468521942391634,0.0,0.0,0.07065581163226922,0.1500171981135558,0.1179588029586844,0.055475519570997285,0.04212944969049995,0.041746792125382216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375374589904956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109425554322945,0.0,0.032049170725598965,0.0,0.0,0.038995813848470784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04360415626911816,0.08850776111458669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761691812508937,0.07256707176974869,0.043415308118689336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959489862848307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532038394985565,0.0,0.08839604085981767,0.08313091612330993,0.047297791656865235,0.15972415704678378,0.08544930341424316,0.12308931630788356,0.0,0.04707282270770848,0.07097414153902816,0.039527572288326235,0.033045577963247766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03782939475843021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03199046324673025,0.0,0.0,0.02941228577003755,0.04429126198903567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688297142311283,0.0,0.0,0.04715522836091365,0.0,0.0,0.1249743864652799,0.0,0.0,0.07651507251024134,0.0,0.0,0.02760677261010721,0.0,0.040826803193455184,0.06597880678632595,0.14538357427793586,0.04776045485860627,0.0,0.03970683119404971,0.0,0.02821258286994118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4457255081885237,0.0980390056073326,0.09895140003541546,0.06666456615619135,0.0,0.11208668357637193,0.0,0.037496213799242416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04506377130762472,0.06050392380114949,0.0,0.042347293022348735,0.17711352357965132,0.0,0.1514787510317158,0.02675955070017585
mentalhealth,Hummos622,2019/01/01,"Should I Seek a New Doctor Hello, I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was about 15 years old, I’m 21 now. 

I come from a religious family who refuse to believe in mental health and just think you can “pray it away” they always make me feel guilty by saying the reason I’m depressed is because I have a bad relationship with God. So I accepted the fact that I was going to have to deal with this on my own. 
So the other day I go to my doctor to finally talk to him about my issues.  This was something very hard for me to talk about and this was my last resort
After I told my doctor why I came in today, he automatically asked if I wanted to try medication, I was pretty shocked at how fast he suggested meds. 
Now I’m kind of paranoid to take medication because I’ve heard mixed things about them.

Now my question is, do you think I should take the medication, or should I go to another doctor who would hopefully ask me more about my issues. I just don’t feel this doctor heard enough from me to hand out meds. 

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mentalhealth,Goochy4787,2019/01/01,"Exposure tharapy for an ex? I'm not very articulate, but I'll do my best to explain the situation in a brief summary. I sincerely hate myself because I discount anything positive. I honestly believe everyone has suffered from something I've done or said in the past and resent me for it. 

I've been spiraling precipitously downward in seemingly every way since my senior year when everyone seemed to have a plan for what comes next, in grades and personality I couldn't help but compare myself and fall short.

After 4 years wasted, and without growth of any kind other than possibly political and additive manufacturing knowledge. I started dating my nearly 11 year crush. It had an exponential growth to the point where I fear she may have thought I was just there to use her as a toy. Our relationship consisted of mostly sex and half of a movie at one point. 

She broke up with me a year and a half ago seemingly out of the blue. At the time I was very upset and for at least a month I tried reconnecting with her but she not show up for agreed times to talk and ignore me most of the time. Since then I've been attempting to see if she'd forgive me by genuinely saying sorry and offering assistance when she was moving for example. 

I've long decided to not even attempt to get back together my mostly because it's something I've decided I didn't want. She now works at the same hospital I do and we see each other occasionally. Everytime i see her I have literal panic attacks because of the emotions I've connected with her. I've gone through the whole relationship and absolutely beat myself up over the smallest things. Most times it creates a feedback loop where I end up in a very dark place. 

Should I try talking to her and attempt some kind of relationship? She keeps ignoring me and I don't want to be pushy especially when I seriously feel like she hates my core.",5.833790622098423,6.919866161559894,6.842635793871863,72.64672063602602,67.05013927576601,10.551578458681524,33.899837511606314,10.595843684498618,3.805977623026928,1508,68,273,41,24,505,199,359,0.16899999999999998,0.73,0.101,-0.9712,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,0,7,10,19,4,3,21,0,20,1,0,1,0,57,41,24,0,5,10,1,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,1,8,22,0,3,10,2,1,7,7,12,0,3,11,7,45,7,49,25,10,55,0,2,4,1,28,23,0,11,25,188,53,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622210853741014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614549518142034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004317908131832,0.0,0.0,0.11065625776151188,0.0,0.07479299722882514,0.0,0.17788079408025148,0.0,0.0,0.10958759444051223,0.10207664115142774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837876676100507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953881391857523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094132752908285,0.08615047276768731,0.0,0.0,0.06424451867042498,0.0,0.08195238566928083,0.1858872590467875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094534092706831,0.04918156368499981,0.06948819429762612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081845373327164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206379198075432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519661094978829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645616266326946,0.0,0.20257906212468327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04752017392856907,0.0,0.0,0.08607901468091597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763829537997811,0.10338036514761667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034454959301716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591123411952347,0.0,0.0,0.11412290192829633,0.0,0.0,0.09285319940819399,0.0,0.08493056271858543,0.10162423422073892,0.0,0.1838991763946637,0.1096549221268685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132879111657301,0.0,0.0,0.09252402985196924,0.07735132377077696,0.0,0.0,0.2325297257887117,0.2656470797938146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160921994169416,0.10933317467237028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976313520235818,0.0,0.10888343040032847,0.06884670747677829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636047813343695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462045871328279,0.0,0.0,0.0772198333376804,0.2268707366823769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320770140204392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400821991308291,0.0,0.24076856796761575,0.11474223379194436,0.07720671724190194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859611655695386,0.0,0.09376276718397077,0.0,0.07081217651193969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25054930768308964
mentalhealth,yeethay99,2019/01/01,"Patient Confidentiality (UK) My parents are sending me to a private UK psychologist. I am 18. They said that what happens in our sessions will be confidential but I am wary. Is there any sort of documentation I can bring for the psych to sign in order to ensure this?

She also is doing family sessions w the rest of family which leaves a large risk of information transfer. Additionally, I feel any first impression of me has already been influenced by family opinion. 

Thanks",5.04979411764706,7.839252964705883,6.73963235294118,65.6670955882353,72.29411764705883,9.426470588235297,31.801470588235286,9.827888789773867,3.8439705882352944,382,18,60,11,8,131,66,85,0.031,0.858,0.111,0.7876,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,1,1,2,3,0,1,4,0,11,0,0,1,0,8,16,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,2,2,10,2,11,12,1,6,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,1,45,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632432497552605,0.19076645945953294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32444114718468536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6746444470893241,0.0,0.12061685303385593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20290849852695897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109468879544444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25258750446757305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648789211448298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269134300453081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21962261465007765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Adventurous_Farmer,2019/01/01,"I've been having suicidal thoughts for a long time and I don't know what to do about it. My family can confirm that I am not a happy guy. Anytime I (23M) smile or laugh people take notice (almost like it goes quiet).

I've been trying to make new friends but it gets harder and harder as time goes on.

I feel very lonely when my roommate is out, so much so that if I come back to the apartment after work, I check if I am alone, I sit down on the couch or lay down on my bed and start crying for a good 10-20 mins.

My suicidal thoughts are on and off. I have one a month at least (or none if I'm too busy that month). But when it gets bad I think about it at least twice a week (and this week it's been everyday so far).

About six months ago I decided that I should sit down and figure out if I were to do it how it would be done. And I do know. It's simple, easy, effective, and it wouldn't hurt much. That's the point I thought may be in trouble.

I don't even have to be depressed to think about this, I just have to be left to my own thoughts.

So, any advice or people with similar experiences out there?
Please don't refer me to doctors. I've heard it all before. The problem is I don't know if I can afford one. If people think it's as bad as they think, sure then.",2.336904581597878,2.7142211834532404,3.826387731919728,93.68970276410452,74.57553956834529,7.003710715638016,21.82582355168497,6.8360192770164,0.2147812949640282,971,20,242,8,19,323,140,278,0.146,0.753,0.101,-0.9526,1,3,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,2,16,13,0,0,9,0,31,1,0,3,2,53,51,31,2,10,14,0,1,1,1,4,1,2,2,1,20,13,0,0,16,0,1,1,7,7,0,4,10,3,26,6,34,33,7,39,0,3,0,0,4,18,0,12,19,165,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244060869986412,0.10199856305906836,0.0,0.11522140925410965,0.11917308591608168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824843970741123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847821485264495,0.1921496593232017,0.0,0.0,0.0979122078947446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911868131348206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639397429539212,0.0,0.0,0.0991056882096669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777434567121164,0.0,0.11775188708002375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759996328083496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255607208832052,0.10847344898571816,0.0,0.05818053988660575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888992675419394,0.0,0.12023387842408127,0.0,0.0,0.09651142534809752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139328685117173,0.0,0.12248929228758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317992508807445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971085706858007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501892884147697,0.0,0.0,0.056215158029080566,0.0,0.0,0.10182928666357574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680706953992247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755323907560451,0.0,0.16917266463789374,0.0,0.0,0.11113091150731254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310027572913098,0.0,0.0,0.15594262964989578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393156479469925,0.0,0.0,0.12630729113489902,0.10877402593247497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101020787591525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144390520132752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25172581406247296,0.0,0.1084478081738045,0.0,0.08651488499952899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294917131447963,0.0,0.3653964011648711,0.13419115778010984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812187541999233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494103225211344,0.0,0.0,0.18459709825896825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376900511739573,0.0,0.0,0.08173918169817347,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sirbawmba,2019/01/01,"Does anyone else get more depressed when they have free time? I generally keep myself pretty busy but eventually I have a weekend or a few days where I don’t have anything to do. I guess having things to do makes me feel less useless and it’s distracting. Having days at a time of nothing is really hard for me. I’ll be feeling okay for months but then the holidays come and I’m so emotionally drained that even holding a conversation with someone feels like so much. And since I have nothing to get out of bed for, I don’t. Am I the only one?",2.0246363636363647,4.278793281818185,3.6500000000000017,86.70500000000001,79.81818181818181,6.545454545454546,24.54545454545455,7.686295010490155,1.2989090909090906,431,16,88,7,11,143,76,110,0.107,0.74,0.153,0.4775,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,1,6,1,13,0,0,1,0,17,23,10,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,2,3,2,1,1,2,3,0,1,0,4,11,4,11,22,4,12,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,2,9,61,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590836849931354,0.19915554038689912,0.15995035483475367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743296953996092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507057770692978,0.0,0.16741102136705865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009492883294844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237160636776668,0.2186406438032792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837987790418462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948386853082819,0.13885831950077696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031011211719212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21412101227893213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741177840548364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276542554103375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495960516463092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974381382313938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15514467362892734,0.0,0.14288467738854865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730074617171746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171047684530154,0.147827519090882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19774466949609848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451871537326968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078528091672042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468948851373733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913111922095705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22667799586709325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,allymich22,2019/01/01,"I cannot stop digging into my skin and I will do anything to stop but I can’t no matter what I do I have been doing this for almost ten years and I have terrible bouts of scraping skin off my face and back and other parts of my body with my nails. I look in the mirror an cry and tell myself I’m not worthy of being pretty but then it triggers some self-hate fueled diet and exercise binge where I feel amazing and love myself but it only lasts for maybe a week at a time and I keep having insane ups and downs with this. I go a day or two without looking in the mirror, another whole day doing skin routines, and another where I pull all my hairs and blackheads out. I’mat the point in my life where I am so so so tired of it and I am desperate. I just want to stop. I need to go back to therapy and be properly medicated for this but I’m so embarrassed by it I refuse to talk about it. Like if I say it out loud then it’s real and to realize I’m really destroying myself is a terrifying instance to imagine. How do I even begin to get help??? ",1.3797982062780283,3.0611368789237687,3.7863026905829607,87.77604596412556,79.31390134529148,6.791838565022423,21.463901345291482,7.7348632917899725,0.8595490582959644,816,23,177,13,20,284,128,223,0.181,0.698,0.121,-0.9638,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,13,6,1,1,8,0,17,13,6,2,1,45,31,27,0,3,9,0,5,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,12,19,1,5,3,1,0,3,5,3,0,2,1,9,27,3,30,27,4,31,0,0,2,1,6,14,0,4,15,136,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769553814023845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093239948686647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137631171831445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22683002474877195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383436158025466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201699121793697,0.1902449205478951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741945302313126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457820732682413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706036357084092,0.0,0.1676502975292293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886319189771046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110086668003768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202286003300167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418050455031012,0.07205890008195212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24771831329826344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331205380052372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817915539302448,0.0,0.0,0.14858630011402008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936611881253107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121770505370671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972336192969014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394310172022491,0.0,0.0,0.15005605126784324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678822841913237,0.09448945847931436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729442150577135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387007884881285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699387791381877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855137659554935,0.12891765591187382,0.0,0.16867407346637758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600587074180427,0.16952449522060506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408176967595002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699672661575507,0.0,0.11831207387142917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467357051403794,0.0,0.1421804954264935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498233084687753
mentalhealth,TheColorOfSnails,2019/01/01,"How to go about telling my therapist that I don't like her? I recently got a new therapist - the one I've been with for a few years moved away. I just can't get comfortable with my new one. Some of the things I need to talk about are sexual,  and angr comes off a little prudish so I don't feel comfortable talking about the subject. I also just can't seem to get fluid conversation with her. 

She's very nice, I do like her as a person. She keeps telling me that I'm in charge and that if I ever need her to change what she's doing to just let her know. But she can't exactly change her personality...

Someone suggested a therapist I might like. She's older, so I think I'll be more comfy. Ive ghosted therapists in the past, and I feel it's just rude of me to do that, and I feel this woman deserves better. I'm just not sure how to tell her without coming off insulting? I'm afraid she'll repeat her offer to just change what she's doing.",3.097042354630293,3.864263417085432,4.777692031586504,86.12609296482412,73.12060301507537,8.29877961234745,24.76704953338119,8.634040054169528,1.439518018664752,736,21,164,13,14,250,101,199,0.094,0.858,0.048,-0.7532,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,15,12,3,1,9,0,16,1,0,2,3,36,34,12,1,3,10,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,9,9,0,2,6,0,0,4,7,4,0,2,2,3,32,8,24,28,3,18,0,0,0,1,27,6,0,4,11,112,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107084897780794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699524714267238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071877143368664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36141400342619984,0.19619734368485653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301217209228652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274544861731697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899657690726405,0.0,0.06472137749883228,0.0,0.09108129337839274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122294809937288,0.0,0.0,0.06258619419971735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645136350046707,0.0,0.16690997903686572,0.11413899847883667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081008203827515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210378186294082,0.0,0.16888310884181718,0.0,0.21997457341117654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433785689589938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871260411086248,0.0,0.1988735487971472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244406292537447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036732749576574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649127130693694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733179462331692,0.0,0.0,0.18306697955746964,0.2986118747477528,0.0,0.0,0.5288999510810507,0.07565768751463728,0.07297055034238241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396401408757084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109777526829199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333583514085877
mentalhealth,throwy09,2019/01/01,"Psychologist keeps telling me ""everyone experiences X"" when I tell her about my issues First of all, I am trying to get diagnosed for ADD. 

When I talk about my issues she always says ""you have to see the glass half full"" and ""that happens to everyone, even me"". I only figured out that's not right after seeing a random post in the ADHD sub. 

How do I approach this with her? She is already the second therapist I'm seeing in 4 months. 

Also, she says she needs at least 6 months of observation to give me a diagnosis. Is this how long an ADD diagnosis normally takes?",3.6495656565656605,5.4581821181818215,5.374848484848485,78.29671717171719,73.27272727272728,8.525252525252526,25.858585858585855,9.150863307647796,2.19919191919192,443,15,84,10,9,151,77,110,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,8,0,0,0,6,0,5,1,0,2,1,14,15,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,5,17,0,15,15,3,15,0,0,3,0,13,6,0,1,7,61,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19169952038717955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760227904077297,0.1275597552510423,0.13272475043133364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189886827623384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535457466821184,0.0,0.0,0.30483648283802234,0.0,0.1560309788745032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567876912841634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333717318096641,0.15301612591077246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410537967453655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33297312383937155,0.0,0.1417794456763145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116096076756046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25463805339359025,0.0,0.0,0.11827433405801915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628552345873514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131422503533308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276608722047627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622031164783258,0.0,0.253696844012465,0.0,0.0,0.38132545569935705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993135459719295,0.1282077600516757,0.2788368110133697,0.0,0.0,0.18520291912680864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829653582552692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Redrogue2291,2019/01/01,"I am mentally ill, but sometimes I want to stop my medication. When I was 19 (yr 2010-2011) it was suggested by a therapist that I was depressed. I was a student, and obsessed with my failing grade in a course. The APN working out of the school health clinic put me on Celexa which I took intermittently for 5 years. I had to stop taking the medication at times due to lack of insurance and funding. 
In 2015 I began having frequent ""episodes"" that after several ER visits and finally a consult with a psychiatrist was determined as panic attacks. I began seeing a psychiatrist regularly when the panic was daily and I was paranoid of my surroundings. I have always been wary of relationships, but I was becoming increasingly avoidant and depressed. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, and [possibly] mild ADHD. I have seen 3 psychiatrists now who all agree on PTSD being primary, though I am unsure of the dx sometimes. 
There came a time in 2015 in which I attempted suicide following a panic episode. Medications were changed to high doses of Effexor and Wellbutrin to take daily. I hate taking medication. I hate paying for it and all the maintenance, and I hate feeling dependent on it. Every time I try to wean off the medication, after about 3-4 months without them I am a severely depressed and emotional wreck. I have been told by my current doctor that I may never not need the medication. 
So what is the problem? I guess my battle with it is despite its effects on my mood, while on medication I have brain fog and I can't concentrate or remember things well. I feel like I can't think. This is a problem for me personally because I have always invested the most in my education and work. Some may say that it is unhealthy for me to not invest more in relationships with others, but I love learning and advancing my education makes me feel good. 

I sometimes wonder if it is worth sacrificing my mood just to have my mind back.
Sorry for the long post, but I'd love to hear feedback, even just to know other people's experiences. ",6.146214415505753,7.4588460209973775,7.2520341207349075,69.16922016959421,66.48031496062993,10.58594791035736,34.863819907126995,10.64471489884176,4.121553523117303,1638,77,275,45,26,553,206,381,0.244,0.6679999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9973,1,1,0,0,0,1,43.0,0,0,1,6,12,24,5,5,21,0,33,17,1,3,3,59,60,25,1,6,11,0,3,1,0,2,14,2,0,1,19,20,0,3,9,0,5,7,6,17,2,0,19,7,46,5,47,38,8,46,0,5,2,2,13,16,0,9,23,206,65,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962723361254002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410831481528085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484226671627385,0.0,0.05734521976220872,0.0,0.045461534305589205,0.08236459545555604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325275597321227,0.0,0.08529638426358528,0.0,0.0,0.07889272894819413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25693273669833283,0.07569423052959444,0.0,0.0,0.0854718671883498,0.07633286618761466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388924831103682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04925749974160664,0.0,0.06283445964685824,0.0,0.0,0.07295075629888566,0.0,0.0,0.11312533321014286,0.05327792601605603,0.0,0.08169561509320247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255176944254551,0.0,0.0,0.08215513115594157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22088846752195807,0.0,0.07927201585614575,0.08405386050820098,0.0,0.0,0.07879484637895659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04098564755174676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036434625139236176,0.0,0.0,0.06599842494196907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134617566880376,0.0,0.049780822198928376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5259003811501968,0.07515621963231772,0.0,0.07530165509627595,0.0,0.05952676420904617,0.0,0.0,0.055298006732491696,0.05751849038465745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625006270690115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170240096921593,0.06511788488332301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407452355646068,0.07142428817625246,0.0,0.0,0.14272050839260053,0.1743533790661105,0.07497062727912064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013588419851166,0.08448136532061283,0.0,0.0,0.05930673759419069,0.0,0.0754760504201283,0.05942832760935145,0.0,0.0,0.16850188859264545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22127610472522968,0.08348300611174846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469966214709954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157529032019048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682181913795211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658981130874524,0.04954574015413001,0.04778602208094298,0.0732716645627082,0.0,0.13045959583149724,0.0,0.0,0.07126165627792487,0.08285795016400663,0.050632984872676035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043987531297046925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705380810770004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188970477045388,0.08087573057182662,0.10858609694418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802523512461501
mentalhealth,cavegrll,2019/01/01,"Looking for help on pinpointing a diagnosis Hey all, Firstly I'd like to say I am currently in therapy. I'm talking with therapist to try to figure out what could be going on, and I would appreciate any sort of help along the way.

I had a very weird and constantly traumatic upbringing

my symptoms that really disturb my happiness are the following

1. sexual deviancy- I am always aroused. I had an omegle addictions for years, porn addiction for years and i had really messed up voyeuristic urges that are very heavy on me. 
2. I am really quick to anger, crying, and elation. like a drop of a hat quick.
3. I dissociate intensely and often 
4. I have intense intrusive thoughts, especially about things regarding the past fuck ups. I ruined my previous relationships with my omegle addictions and it haunts me.
5. I get very upset if something doesn't go the way I envisioned it in my head, say I plan a trip to hike and I imagine sitting in my hammock and drinking coffee. If that weren't to happen It would ruin the entire experience for me, regardless if it was otherwise an amazing trip. 
6. I am in a constant state of anxiety, always at a quieter 2 but a roaring 10 when i'm alone with myself, especially at night. 

I've thought about OCD, but I'm not a list-y person, I'm not very adamant about cleanliness and I'm definitely not a perfectionist. I'm spontaneous and I spend money without any real care. I would say i'm very much an idealize-r though. 

Any help would be amazing, I need the peace of mind. ",3.316827033218786,5.619970006872856,5.1982130584192445,76.99040091638035,75.73539518900344,9.397021764032074,30.021764032073307,9.816601858774405,3.422370904925545,1196,56,219,37,27,409,162,291,0.118,0.765,0.118,0.6068,1,1,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,2,8,14,2,2,19,0,20,9,2,0,1,40,38,17,0,10,9,0,0,2,0,4,4,3,0,1,9,15,1,0,4,1,2,5,6,8,0,1,7,4,28,6,34,24,2,33,0,2,1,3,10,12,1,5,13,136,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326903285929237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535785689833448,0.0,0.0,0.1692890046865218,0.0,0.0,0.20753229262729608,0.0,0.0778204069081541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371683030922042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198601687674352,0.0,0.081220241727577,0.0,0.11174165839762566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996531307114678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950792534205613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652841202638073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404440472694532,0.053147838121168814,0.0,0.11562689898105853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995630724742562,0.10828962956871492,0.0,0.0,0.10440062017355063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455515685276796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939674767364394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542454385594726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271465100037552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478059855133762,0.07542882630245402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954633221947282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971093460867802,0.0,0.0888235565489441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578689809074255,0.19550558331322565,0.0,0.0,0.10921606860471332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426907156092275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831394190022732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573266546696583,0.0,0.0817638157981146,0.0,0.0,0.11633298801644028,0.11811217479077685,0.06758249074313423,0.0,0.09994565782322834,0.1615187751880642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906553864792031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4196746107943368,0.0,0.1614913405817744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806060605940632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28905402397341146,0.0,0.0,0.13101691480031666
mentalhealth,gobertino,2019/01/01,"What did I do wrong? Before I met my current group of friends, I had depression. Over this last year, I met a good group of people and I felt happy, maybe it was their company, the meds, or my therapist, either way, I was starting to feel somewhat happy and not so unwilling to do anything. But recently we haven’t been talking as much, and I see them all the time post stuff of their stories of doing things without me, and when I try and invite them somewhere they always come up with excuses for missing it. I know this sounds super petty, but right now I feel so alone. All my suicidal thoughts are coming back because it feels like something I did. I’m sorry if this is the wrong subreddit to post this on, but I just feel so alone and lost.",4.523581081081083,5.3619009527027055,5.091459459459461,84.91975675675678,69.87837837837836,8.082162162162161,28.98918918918919,8.238735603445708,1.900776216216216,583,21,117,8,10,187,99,148,0.183,0.72,0.097,-0.9407,1,2,1,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,5,2,7,11,0,0,4,0,12,0,0,0,2,29,28,16,1,1,9,0,5,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,10,10,0,0,7,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,11,7,22,6,14,17,5,18,0,3,1,0,13,4,0,3,10,86,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942423639793659,0.0,0.0,0.11819715776570518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689522296824195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922784661819084,0.0,0.08659249222078941,0.0,0.1208742699407646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447273633975835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234764149326795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872994260782255,0.10148070153272257,0.13639048224866465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974764325560067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914498029126812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024301892311196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806708288664853,0.11578988390546327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939855951031561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506458916924387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270853318654386,0.0,0.1577857652424751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442325207302773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847973285786228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720896781311307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402574496301035,0.0,0.0,0.12131010692736105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319562955389775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935719497171108,0.0,0.15901358517085806,0.10054387286331133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261351024374054,0.1553798788438885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417458154841692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493124740909396,0.09437185049740596,0.0,0.0,0.11277200305110575,0.08283062233982852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964427711398977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127528482779184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693133758411313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31061922000641,0.0,0.09147568075850293
mentalhealth,legendofriss,2019/01/01,Im trying to create a playlist of music to listen to during ptsd episodes to calm me down. Any ideas? I really don't like generic calm music. It actually gives me anxiety. What do you listen to besides that to help? I prefer something with meaningful or well though out lyrics so I can focus on something.,2.885480225988701,5.4073335084745775,4.445000000000004,80.7084039548023,78.32203389830508,6.6451977401129945,25.08757062146893,7.793537801064563,1.731675706214689,243,9,42,4,6,81,45,59,0.065,0.711,0.224,0.8431,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,6,4,11,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,1,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.2767734896803123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19287221936691626,0.0,0.2169695289691708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720754083242725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901053883503038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201739410966979,0.3063596888733987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856304779587533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315381385781469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18169507634151105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4366910881323319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786565010642161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19256025487154288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550096229127136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ayetonin,2019/01/01,"I don’t know what I’m feeling and my therapist isn’t giving me much insight I’ve gone through a lot this year. My close friend died in a car accident, I had a miscarriage, I was in a car accident that almost killed me, and my long time boyfriend left me. I’m diagnosed with clinical depression and struggle with anxiety. The thing I’m wondering about is something that has happened since my boyfriend left me (three weeks ago): Every time I am about to eat, or think about eating, I get this sense of dread that makes me nauseous and I even experience even after I’ve already started eating. I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve lost 20 lbs in three weeks and I’m sitting at 130lbs at 5’5 when I was 150lbs about a month ago. I am at a loss. I don’t even know what to think about it or what it is or what to do. any suggestions or advice is welcome. ",3.7472033898305055,4.417122322033901,4.62916666666667,88.14510593220342,71.54237288135593,8.385875706214689,28.309322033898304,8.59863814320734,1.7996745762711868,669,24,149,11,12,217,89,177,0.16699999999999998,0.775,0.058,-0.9596,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,10,8,1,2,7,0,15,5,0,1,0,23,33,10,2,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,14,8,3,0,8,0,0,3,4,6,0,2,5,1,19,2,21,28,2,25,0,3,0,0,4,9,0,7,12,93,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439034606945005,0.24381977910995406,0.0,0.13771399179812732,0.0,0.15176508921247242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352346108106938,0.0,0.10520821176285422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845229130251275,0.1395875848259589,0.14273190098006114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42217510224947796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27250698139303764,0.0,0.11587290609315225,0.0,0.0,0.1345283492776542,0.0,0.0,0.06953806974435063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625345654408844,0.0,0.0718524771322409,0.13192897320854838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161517265595115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521538756675468,0.0,0.2267446612872105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988482062932544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170756840397395,0.0,0.0,0.15012758450264369,0.11692101880578334,0.0,0.0,0.09180071840061972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977319130282208,0.0,0.10109858532900773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376422398466565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587543949940023,0.0,0.0,0.09734271925252497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377367269566044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15968010436934962,0.09136720405428496,0.17624422268513182,0.0,0.0,0.16038685971246375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22063263624496013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491427790806652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856324365597243
mentalhealth,throwschizo123,2019/01/01,How long does it take to get addicted to Klonopin (Clonazepam)? And does it depend on the dosage? Asking because my wife has been prescribed Clonazepam (Klonopin). I wanted to be aware of how it would take to get addicted & in what kind of dosages?  ,4.491086956521741,6.807490065217394,3.5167391304347824,90.33206521739132,72.26086956521739,6.339130434782609,31.06521739130435,7.1686216300943375,1.7964956521739124,197,9,37,2,4,57,33,46,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,3,0,6,10,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,8,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5398740091351075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682908536266972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314866896649984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094386455823014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.433379279226314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587373359907409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578530189877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21913156842734025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723514730077957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460497994133044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758986601434681,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ctrl_ethos,2019/01/01,"I dont know if I can love my child and I feel like a monster. I'm having difficulty learning to love my son. I didnt want to keep it when we found out my ex was pregnant, but she wouldnt even consider abortion. I feel a primal desire to protect him and want him to grow up and be successful and happy. But I dont feel any desire to care for him, love him, or spend time with him. It feels like I'm missing whatever piece of humanity makes you a parent. And I cant tell anyone or I will look like a monster.",3.174517374517372,3.1511823333333377,5.158249678249678,86.3237837837838,72.51351351351352,8.144658944658946,26.66795366795367,7.957251820313856,1.3398277992277996,393,12,92,5,7,137,67,111,0.055,0.597,0.348,0.9914,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,1,0,1,2,10,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,1,0,27,28,11,0,6,5,3,4,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,8,0,2,7,0,1,1,5,1,0,0,3,5,19,9,10,22,1,5,0,1,1,3,17,2,0,3,5,58,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051686765562555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391756868686075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068938602945767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4154051438380016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705329490643505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584345682477704,0.2532145081936804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431450226870806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886558490246208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752283485254193,0.0,0.0,0.09739643942490817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597447866985048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882163613329585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.479848647565199,0.0,0.11829689472878448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19678378135067304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548996214597495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333942800145653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090599604173629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Annonnommous,2019/01/01,"Numb - literally pointless I just needed an outlet I’m so numb it’s like I’m floating 

I can’t feel my legs and I feel sick. So sick. I should be crying and yet I’m just typing this. I dont. I don’t know. 

I can’t stop shaking. I want to leave and sleep and just get away and not experience this but I can’t 

All I need is fucking help and I’ve asked and I’ve tried and I’m trying and I’m getting no where. Even if it’s just a hug I need someone to understand and help me please help me 

It’s 1am again and ive been here every night for a while now. I never used to be but suddenly I can’t sleep cos your thoughts keep me awake. Why can’t we just be okay 

I’m numb sorry 
",-3.511212121212118,-2.620023248407641,-0.13072379849449867,104.4735765296275,119.06369426751593,2.92213858328508,11.763945184327351,5.1180229611663055,-1.5729091295116768,518,11,139,4,33,181,84,157,0.151,0.687,0.163,0.7825,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,1,0,0,13,8,1,1,3,1,14,10,3,2,2,37,35,17,0,6,9,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,12,0,2,5,0,0,1,10,5,0,0,2,2,20,3,5,29,1,11,0,0,0,2,6,2,1,1,9,78,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651953452432998,0.0,0.1573010578348278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18390821911074712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622055250629625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058246408320932,0.0,0.14106256739656292,0.0,0.0,0.16377352546480173,0.0,0.0,0.16930996176195925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478147754991922,0.17494503658911367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33666382928420396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881480475445294,0.0,0.0,0.09201226051044956,0.0,0.0,0.17727862917692624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179527273978858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37242997769557773,0.12912828362072165,0.0,0.0,0.157116780142588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18378209169239476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350913113610304,0.0,0.14185844188171526,0.0,0.0,0.18741829311959415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399745823773738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291654483990187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734082162026326,0.0,0.0,0.1742950625686025,0.0,0.1446012228512411,0.0,0.0,0.09875145156131468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107478978557254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,malakasinat,2019/01/01,"I think I'm depressed. I don't know. I don't even know what to say. I keep going back and forth between being hopeful and holding fast to my faith, only to breaking down.

My husband and I are from different cultures. I'm American, he's from North Africa. We are very happy together. We are a different religion from the rest of my family. I hold family in very high regard. My family is dysfunctional. My father was abusive to my mother, molested me when I was 6 or 7, and then disappeared from our life. My mom was verbally and emotionally abusive to me, but for some reason not my sister. I've recieved therapy for PTSD in the past and responded well for treatment. No more night terrors, and I was able to let a man into my life for the first time. I am married to him now. I am 28 and we have been married for a year.

My sister and I were best friends. She disowned me a few days ago. She disowned me because we have different religions. I made another post about it asking for advice a few days ago.

Last night my husband asked if he was a problem, as in, was this his fault. I said no, absolutely not. I am worried he will become insecure being with me because of the behavior of my sister, and I know he is worried about it spreading to my mother. On top of the anguish of my sister being hurtful and for cutting me off, I am now worrying about my husband.

I also feel like it would be easier to not exist. I haven't gone near my homework because I feel like I don't care. I don't feel like I have tears left to cry, but I can feel my body crying and stinging eyes. I feel so weak. I'm so sad. I don't know how to make it stop.",1.713406719632431,3.5836634688427296,3.9861759356753166,85.84607159950227,79.0,7.078357423183688,25.707762994161,8.049812674583475,1.6453261031875182,1267,50,262,23,31,438,167,337,0.198,0.6940000000000001,0.108,-0.9878,3,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,5,0,0,3,13,21,2,3,11,0,34,5,2,4,0,47,57,23,0,4,7,11,5,3,1,2,3,2,1,1,6,18,0,4,11,0,0,3,11,11,1,1,11,8,57,10,41,39,6,35,1,3,1,0,32,12,0,4,21,188,63,1,0.09495411673610472,0.22501020264042254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278806391687268,0.16834219056598618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593477284788548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956767059976092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775385625694112,0.0,0.0,0.07301385460222909,0.0,0.1736494446902452,0.10486936176895664,0.0,0.0,0.09964848731108047,0.0,0.0,0.10547261782048988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968120503726015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20860527706557289,0.12247509987340725,0.0,0.08178384160717676,0.0,0.0,0.297620526107072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681060085340964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271629857059391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268542871676466,0.0,0.2400582723687736,0.20350571990700853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076792318839766,0.0,0.0,0.07336131504644378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053964612759607206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108042293020963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032423767446252,0.0,0.09431086302316344,0.0,0.0,0.1016503458537543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439958183317453,0.0,0.0,0.20873719717391728,0.07740027849706327,0.0,0.0,0.10316792566577368,0.09709701770090327,0.13413780155511607,0.13916935535868538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984788115019557,0.06338261025215015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120911390207648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821601237712142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221688457418082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064444870687467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093979609099584,0.0,0.0,0.09085826588287706,0.11099628113143713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762864659052592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903231092899752,0.07551132480772987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938589335527847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858830782106572,0.0,0.0,0.06084276392530639,0.0,0.0,0.055368509069601946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15669418141372302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537515447674361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28929154418407793,0.0,0.06745268016262666,0.0,0.0,0.061147337985045826
mentalhealth,alt20541,2019/01/01,"Desperate for help. Friend cuts herself because of me. Hello. This is my first time posting on a serious subreddit but I don't know where else to turn to. 
Sit comfortably I have a little story to tell. 

I run a discord server. The name of which I won't mention. And I met a girl on there she's around 14. She was really fun to talk to and we started to talk a lot. I've been trying to ""help"" out a lot. A lot of people on my server have mental health issues and I take this very serious. Eventough my server isn't that serious. I tried to help whenever I could. Recommendations, advice etc. To the point I started doing this every day. 

And I know people will say that's not what you should do but I can't help myself. I want to help them. And sometimes it worked to my own surprise and I've gotten fairly good at it. 

This girl like many others also has mental health problems and I tried my very best to help her. Especially since she also was my friend. Then I discovered she had feelings for me. I told her I am not interested and that she's too young in my opinion. But I kept talking to her a lot because she was still my friend. But she wanted me so bad. She got obsessed. Drawing me, taking screenshots when in a video call and talking about me to her friends all the time. 

Recently I found out she cuts herself because she can't have me. I already knew she cut herself but I didn't know this was one of the reasons. 
She says it hurts so much and that she wants to die. I rejected her several months ago. 
Now to be clear she isn't trying to push me or force me. She tried to hide it from me but I eventually found out anyway. 

My question is. 
What the fuck do I do. I am clueless. I feel like I can't stop talking to her because she said that would make it worse. Please help .

Thanks

(Maybe unrelated but here are some of her other symptoms. Or issues whatever you call it)
- avoids eating
- cuts
- drinks alcohol
- already attempted suicide twice one of the times I manage to stop her 
- she doesn't see a therapist and refuses to see one",1.1477536231884038,3.4795543550724664,2.8552657004830952,90.62173913043482,83.95169082125605,5.725603864734301,21.801932367149767,7.079830092131019,0.6961526570048315,1589,53,332,22,46,524,196,414,0.153,0.6809999999999999,0.165,0.8603,0,2,2,0,0,1,49.0,1,2,1,4,15,27,5,2,16,0,33,7,0,2,2,59,60,26,2,7,11,0,2,2,4,4,4,3,0,2,21,16,3,5,10,2,0,2,11,14,0,5,16,7,78,13,41,38,10,34,0,2,2,1,63,13,1,9,19,239,99,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265101802747681,0.06590412066659385,0.07945432179256504,0.0,0.0,0.1640875041220449,0.11891052185389794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618458344895492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207663105384952,0.18128493980942265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802257900901899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183317826936274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936002173032505,0.0,0.0,0.0479476578840542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771604375945253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283174586414917,0.0,0.0760755313689679,0.06210737002724945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291654642856007,0.0,0.0,0.06264054551298902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518414389649664,0.053113504408297874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323951159126537,0.0,0.16303527387065905,0.2297611997479957,0.06873259411036102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623587277221009,0.05946207951455373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580547471897157,0.0,0.0,0.3488325409319453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958999032177738,0.0,0.0,0.15519788291040454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225774838491616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726443676641734,0.07451521549067268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528286084079338,0.0,0.0,0.04962719304266197,0.07537617849241789,0.07469154422489996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984855835225735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05934305799133526,0.0,0.054653592018391324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113833332476986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030856832141124,0.0,0.0,0.08161066887976036,0.07028193648466989,0.0,0.07120386487577747,0.0,0.0,0.07114002851181228,0.0,0.0,0.08328564374657878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047628585465178,0.07644108804555727,0.07340868319503092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072101264234369,0.1182474208061898,0.0,0.0,0.11848985035587985,0.0,0.0,0.08399093650787823,0.0,0.06150059828940864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353107401510975,0.0,0.10524636416374912,0.0,0.05937360213685701,0.1243148251147619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813235398976282,0.0,0.0,0.07727498941428622,0.11179936754919864,0.2987864711613171,0.06498254611029755,0.068448719426221,0.0,0.0863225855164618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005698300291926,0.0,0.0,0.07104173487758368,0.0,0.2523836292379045,0.08086817568766587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268810575558345,0.1315553426433167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412549408348294,0.0,0.07576593430421813,0.05281396847429537,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TooMuch615,2019/01/01,"How common is it for people with mental health issues to believe it’s their fault, that their actions, thoughts, choices caused them to suffer? I’ve suffered with mental health issues for 20+ years.  For a lot of reasons, I believe it’s my fault.  ",4.0867021276595725,6.2013593191489385,4.056329787234045,86.90875,72.82978723404256,4.7,26.643617021276608,3.1291,0.6557702127659577,196,7,34,0,4,60,33,47,0.246,0.754,0.0,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,3,0,7,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,0,8,1,1,3,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,21,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4763376964732983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171600517111089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4494042513298387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4412811991885847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17971977035898487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4260712213744485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655410581263933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217348422333165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782336414040716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361309196128121
mentalhealth,isaiah5417,2019/01/01,"I'm giving therapy another shot after being let down. How can I effectively describe my concerns at my first appointment? I'm a 30 year old woman with adhd-pi, depression and minor anxiety. My last two therapists were a bit bad. One was partially my fault because I used her as someone to rant to, but the fact they she was practically falling asleep during appointments is on her. The next one was just awful. He told me my ADHD isn't real, lead me to believe I could get a six figure job easily with no experience, brought up several conspiracy theories that were irrelevant, and told me some sexually graphic stories (from history) that were also irrelevant. So I guess it's a too parter: 1. How do I find a good therapist? 2. How do I voice my concerns in a productive manner? Here are my concerns: 
•I always feel like no one wants me. My best friend and multiple friends and boyfriends have dumped me or just ghosted me, I'm down to just one friend now. My sister ignored me on Christmas and New Years too 
•I am passive aggressive. When my sister refused to spend time with me during the holidays, I deleted several picture of her on my social media. I also have been fantasizing about telling her not to call me ever again and blocking her number 
•I think about suicide a lot and have written notes
 
Now, how do I approach these things with a therapist? I've been in therapy for years but my quality of life has gotten worse and worse over the years. I've been reduced to a shell of a person who is isolated constantly. Also, if you know if I should see a different type of therapist? Psychologist, psychiatrist or just normal therapist? Any advice is appreciated, I'm very tired of living this way. ",4.830031055900623,6.6448981894409975,6.217050931677019,73.43012298136647,70.2111801242236,9.748273291925468,32.134658385093175,10.078955797065145,3.6128217142857135,1355,62,235,37,25,458,193,322,0.172,0.708,0.12,-0.952,2,0,0,0,0,1,37.0,0,1,1,4,22,12,2,0,15,1,27,3,1,7,2,48,45,24,2,6,11,2,1,1,3,1,2,1,0,2,7,12,0,3,6,1,1,4,4,6,0,7,14,3,39,6,32,27,4,32,0,1,1,0,24,10,0,7,18,167,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21524935207445264,0.08750964519444768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21484525323621173,0.07451483570977839,0.0,0.0,0.060898756018767125,0.0939035815514878,0.0685074006592099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477257863522974,0.05459035947651656,0.0,0.0,0.1008949764184538,0.09397980085637267,0.0,0.097768112237567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144309274559737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677441476583937,0.0,0.07150036684125813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713141819722281,0.0,0.0,0.09356327938022904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100534345142116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759950739168762,0.0,0.0,0.045280423697176525,0.0639763082747996,0.0,0.0,0.08184934263766347,0.07617329215577948,0.0,0.0,0.20756406739331704,0.0,0.04678747368456938,0.08590689713963251,0.0,0.07511236987311545,0.0,0.0,0.09865215090401884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886701637732165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049215699984692114,0.07299722209203016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157347626152984,0.06325356368987092,0.04375081734754601,0.0,0.07907647887279247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613431448550564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649034142192648,0.09524007644985348,0.0,0.08774241478321194,0.0,0.0,0.09397026145693586,0.0,0.2427323072890485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819376970948351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193032565290347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136173067708879,0.0,0.0,0.2023376203916099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128747385159547,0.07587752411705496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795587612697236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827281307735134,0.0,0.2048221266519816,0.519886646870934,0.05949468725281255,0.057381612019872325,0.0,0.0,0.05221877016387831,0.10292739991724142,0.0,0.17114246109487805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874797586562455,0.0,0.0,0.07734458822971826,0.0,0.07389017315758363,0.0528203718301494,0.07108258882073072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18252325180853984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306754393086676
mentalhealth,unkn0wnl0la,2019/01/01,"I KNOW I have a mental illness, but its hard to figure out how to talk about it with therapist and/or doctor when I'm not sure that I'm perceiving myself correctly. I tend to downplay myself out of fear/shame/guilt/etc.  I can't ever see situations clearly enough beyond extreme self blame--and I KNOW that not every situation is my fault.  I don't know how to get the help I need when I cannot ever answer those damn questionnaires properly because I know my perception is distorted.  ",9.761276595744684,7.210186085106383,9.768617021276599,66.88250000000002,60.489361702127646,13.229787234042554,38.393617021276604,11.698219412168324,4.403455319148936,388,14,70,9,4,129,66,94,0.183,0.7390000000000001,0.078,-0.8148,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,1,0,2,0,6,2,0,2,5,22,16,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,8,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,2,13,1,10,16,1,7,0,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,4,46,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182792587610762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985985508339843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20048548749681505,0.2163954195182118,0.0,0.3510235899158024,0.16347915716450928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183383796606245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137298526298974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381331481744272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005462770864734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265365950631653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19553721811589375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438712385578239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461727472273856,0.0,0.20241624244630532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4361970697885119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287155340744185,0.0,0.0,0.15595445434772462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22528449279813856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ddd615,2019/01/01,"How many others with mental health issues believe they are caused by “sins” or bad choices? I’ve suffered with mental health problems since I was 17.  Despite 20+ years of making good choices, I still feel like my mental illness is my fault, that sins, bad choices, thoughts, and words lead directly to my problems.  

How common is this?  ",6.656475409836067,7.802661491803278,5.639467213114753,81.79231557377051,65.22950819672131,6.755737704918031,33.2827868852459,5.985473137389443,1.9721770491803283,265,11,44,1,4,79,46,61,0.34700000000000003,0.584,0.069,-0.9681,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,3,10,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,5,0,14,7,4,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,2,1,6,2,5,5,0,4,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,23,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097036425682343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089505423242733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905190830461474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377443183055656,0.1324930614432382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555551898992553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3942718064660569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935726409449292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060666186178844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379636422614974,0.18802789911170276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5607018724369242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549214187123648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15341489210193238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810904314564458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723496885276552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943052036736562
mentalhealth,PedroC1999,2019/01/01,"Are there any help chat lines? I have a friend that is looking to be able to chat with someone online to help her talk through things, she isn't looking to speak over the phone, but would prefer a chat line. Chat would be regarding anxiety, among other things. 

We have found some, but all are closed late at night (We live in the UK) which is when its most required. 

Does anyone have any suggestions?",5.477012987012987,6.255518259740263,4.361454545454547,91.22218181818184,67.70129870129871,7.718441558441559,25.78961038961039,7.554174236665415,0.9984514285714284,314,8,66,3,5,91,56,77,0.027000000000000003,0.894,0.08,0.4784,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,0,12,0,0,0,1,14,15,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,5,1,10,10,3,8,0,0,2,0,15,5,0,2,3,44,11,1,0.2282924845751605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104934359879539,0.0,0.17464312583598918,0.0,0.0,0.15962741327960778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19978029168762826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503109259531271,0.17637820727877584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30603928042337386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575238663214895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20158644639207227,0.0,0.3834163802233464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423703181676101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934314813434196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349285153589384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30333476536797843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32434486202164825,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,renvlovee,2019/01/01,"General question. I’ve got a general question

When medications says let your doctor know if you’re bleeding / bruising easily 

How do you know when it’s a real problem ?
I bruise so easily 
And lately a lot but I’m not on any medication atm 

But how would one even know if a bruise is a serious issue ??

I’m supposed to start Buspirone soon so I’m all anxious about side effects 🙄

Does anyone know I’ll ask my doctor when he’s back open ",0.8733197139938724,3.33502201123596,3.475566905005106,84.5553115423902,87.31460674157304,6.382431052093973,23.821246169560776,7.686295010490155,1.5782494382022474,345,14,67,7,11,120,62,89,0.084,0.8740000000000001,0.042,-0.5164,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,11,2,0,0,5,0,4,5,0,3,1,23,14,12,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,4,0,3,11,2,10,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,5,7,36,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200730252439634,0.0,0.0,0.19947279541800655,0.0,0.1234612020918506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506824927161073,0.0,0.0,0.13577071907462235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614518585609897,0.15451678668006125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662220822359215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412184185018971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842922393429384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881509819241724,0.0,0.19917760646600546,0.0,0.0,0.18055384125481444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501127126855068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557495324256427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964777429797427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689527578018711,0.0,0.0,0.3955955455922317,0.0,0.0,0.20097426228993545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041481473996656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497649949024775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542960427281347,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,girlafraid22,2019/01/01,"No Motivation The worst thing about my depression is that I'm slowly losing all motivation to do anything. Even things like reading, watching a funny TV show, relaxing in a nice bath etc. are no longer fun to me. My therapist told me I should ""just get out there and do things"" and eventually things will start to be enjoyable again but so far I've had no luck. 

And when it comes to unpleasant tasks, like cleaning or work, I experience actual physical pain. I explained this to my therapist and he just didn't seem to get it. ""You're capable of moving so you have no excuse"" is pretty much what I was told. ",3.5894067796610187,5.5600081101694965,4.912000000000003,80.86308474576272,73.83050847457628,9.126779661016947,26.206779661016952,9.642632912329526,2.4933837288135603,479,17,94,13,10,159,85,118,0.17,0.607,0.223,0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,4,9,11,0,0,3,0,12,1,0,2,1,17,21,9,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,9,6,0,0,4,5,0,2,5,4,0,0,5,1,10,7,10,13,4,8,0,2,1,0,6,3,0,3,5,66,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.17290735355919315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580845536930995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15262949989538874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15260949225494078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976085149428488,0.11702926021669925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332128278317754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851440766883404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17312763533208458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822509729367815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18831999841454786,0.13025162793474293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885377171665039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026121196497705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723331040683504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613028985216146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254127108601398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114517225975427,0.4708563242180933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386164121106579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289930534624988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nayaritalv,2019/01/01,"I am depressed and often seek help on this subreddit but when I read other people’s posts I believe that they’re looking for attention For some reason my mind thinks that I’m the only one dealing with shit even when I know it’s not true.

Does this happen to any one of y’all?",3.766724137931035,4.56295377586207,4.713275862068965,87.09681034482759,71.58620689655173,7.179310344827586,24.84482758620689,7.1686216300943375,0.9649172413793096,221,6,46,2,4,72,48,58,0.177,0.7909999999999999,0.033,-0.848,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,1,12,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,6,1,6,6,1,4,0,1,1,0,3,1,1,2,2,30,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367564747852474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877398735600675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632984376325325,0.219969172969828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349568455059712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686843275786123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258427309049861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118419915148667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035703058230167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144653650318888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578736054835247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461211146857445,0.19423749315348973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705699208125328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445954034815815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554615976820677,0.0,0.0,0.26258600998265025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26215671560846737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636451919944256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dorillaz,2019/01/01,"Hey, i need help, i really dont know what to do (Excuse me for my bad english)
A while ago i told my mother i have bulimia since 7th grade, and i had suicidal thoughts since then (im 17 now) . I felt great because i finally told her. I always wanted to tell her everything because i want to go to a psychologist. I want to get help. But when i told her she just said ""this is bad, and dont do that."" And she thinks that there is no need for psychologist because ""we just have to change our mindsets"". But i can't do that, it always came back. I'm scared i will fail my GCSE because this is holding me back.
What can i do?",0.48874125874125707,2.310218969696976,2.673030303030301,93.98339160839159,82.78787878787878,6.1827505827505815,20.759906759906762,7.321109707123232,0.4251473193473197,472,14,113,7,13,160,74,132,0.152,0.7559999999999999,0.092,-0.875,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,2,0,15,0,0,0,0,19,32,8,1,5,4,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,8,2,26,1,8,23,0,10,0,1,0,0,17,0,0,0,8,74,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270689538199205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303641658013765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21288313732854436,0.23116098342094504,0.33753446550120314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832323914799595,0.0,0.0,0.14643706764526274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.324470064785434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440896987112325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291131639874942,0.1516396564451518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232222444452957,0.0,0.07867106956324453,0.0,0.0,0.152615898103112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185568964962276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495245633586236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607568052261451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20528325133363104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867967275421534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167546751005169,0.0,0.13858925060940272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22901595238349504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514163151162376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099101553225945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869822404749311,0.0,0.10989531770346828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3968178609109762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449429186429944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaymylife153,2019/01/01,"Is it normal to disassociate when I consume nicotine? So when I juul I just sort of feel unreal, the entire world just feels fake and almost trapped in a false world or dream.",6.325588235294116,6.4969821470588265,7.004705882352942,75.12117647058824,65.76470588235293,9.15294117647059,28.764705882352942,8.841846274778883,2.1309294117647064,139,4,26,2,2,46,29,34,0.17600000000000002,0.767,0.057,-0.6378,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,3,5,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5795502961238492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5852827063686539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5670675514332862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WonderfulWishes,2019/01/01,"Severe OCD or psychosis? Hello everyone, I've never been on this subreddit before, but I am intrigued about myself and my mental health. The reason I have decided to post on here is because I'm not sure if I was experiencing psychosis. I wanted to ask your opinion on it.

So I was diagnosed with OCD from the age of 8 years old, but I always show OCD tendencies from younger than 8 years old.

I have always been into cartoons - Japanese ones, American ones, French ones, etc. This is embarrassing to say, but I find some cartoon characters attractive. Like, even ore attractive than some real people.

So when I was on only 20mg of Prozac (an anti-depressant) I started getting these really strange thoughts about the cartoon characters. I was convinced that they didn't like my mum for some reason. Basically I thought the cartoon characters (mainly the attractive ones) had real emotions and had a dislike for my mother and sometimes me - I thought they were better than anyone. Now these thoughts did scare me, but I honestly thought that these cartoon characters had real emotions. It was scary.

Without medication, I'm like this. Even a small dosage of medication doesn't work for me.

Thankfully now I'm on 60mg of Prozac and 5mg of Aripiprazole and I do feel better. These thoughts only sometimes come into my head, but they don't feel that real, but sometimes they do.

So do you think it was just severe OCD or psychosis?",5.1941481079123655,7.256449638783272,5.670711569799021,76.71268694550066,69.72243346007605,8.65971392359225,32.29567264168025,9.23628265651192,3.174380191924678,1137,52,191,24,21,365,131,263,0.111,0.767,0.122,0.7267,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,4,3,12,14,0,2,8,0,24,7,1,2,2,45,42,18,0,2,12,2,2,3,0,0,6,1,0,0,13,9,0,0,13,1,0,1,6,2,0,4,20,4,29,12,27,22,5,20,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,7,13,136,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375811449778104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460390510168988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637574663586678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056322413267857314,0.0,0.078620333131142,0.0,0.0,0.16342964564507273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958909222803599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957865918631096,0.09377777936887924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20786121648882525,0.0,0.0,0.103043529144832,0.12205048946828267,0.0,0.0,0.08828625158266673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343417998605168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444627487247128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04827195596238759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482271184716927,0.09821030692923756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541685596602698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18615410058698767,0.09311123626685057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125980755976527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390353723326936,0.0,0.25043376624906394,0.14053932248938486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405423923342231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848773666512283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.420657565255252,0.05918984504180608,0.18999246406557885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347527168562168,0.09250232903730067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087574286854335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27413954251658057,0.0,0.06539681921291049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708007907586299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850638131823204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920222722749004,0.0,0.4401022211967378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05449626710114123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906434249598033,0.0,0.06726379917276372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899717778077867
mentalhealth,Olamina2020,2019/01/01,"I’m not sure how to help my sister I could really use some advice or thoughts. My sister (29) lives in Nevada, which is pretty much across the country from me. She struggles pretty severely with paranoia, very strange emotional outbursts, and delusions. She’s been hospitalized before about 8 years ago, and she did so well then. But as soon as she left she didn’t follow any of the suggested treatments and she went right back. 

Her and I are somewhat close. She calls me every day. I was able to convince her to go back to therapy and for the two months she was in therapy she had a lot fewer panic attacks or emotional outbursts. But then they switched therapists on her and despite my best efforts to prepare her to work with the new therapist she was assigned, she freaked out and stopped going after her third session with the new therapist.  

She has a major freak out just now, screaming about her roommate stealing things.  I can’t keep doing this with her, but she has no one else. She’s been cut off from my family since she was 16 and my family has a lot of other things going on they need to deal with. So there won’t be any support there. She cut off all her friends long ago. I’m it. And I’m at the end of my rope. 

Ideally I would like to move her to my state and work with her more directly to commit to therapy. But there are two things stopping me. One, she takes a lot- the second I give her money or don’t set boundaries things get even worse. Second, She won’t move here, partly because she knows I’ll keep working to get her I to therapy and also because she likes the excitement of Vegas. 

I’ve thought about flying down there, but I’m just not sure what to do when I get there. 

I’m stuck in this constant cycle of she does well for a bit, then has a major crises, and I’m the only person who can sit here and watch while she goes through this crises which usually ends up with her moving which is a huge financial recommitment from me. The one time I refused to financially support her moving she ended up homeless so now I pay the landlord directly wherever she’s moving to. 

She is on Medicare, and is able to get welfare so she can at least get some food. So I know she’s good there. She hops from job to job and easily gets new ones (she either gets fired or paranoid someone at the job is out to get her so she leaves). She generally pays her own rent. I help when she’s short or usually to put a down payment on a place. 

Ultimately this cycle of freak out, crises, rash decisions once every month or so ... it just isn’t sustainable. I just don’t know what to do next. ",3.3800980300187646,4.9221531326923085,4.197110694183866,87.56106003752348,73.44230769230771,7.3808630393996255,25.759849906191373,8.015777009494485,1.4168545966228892,2039,68,420,30,41,654,237,520,0.113,0.78,0.107,0.5761,4,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,2,6,34,24,3,2,21,0,34,2,1,2,4,73,67,43,0,4,18,2,1,2,1,3,0,1,2,1,17,27,1,5,6,0,4,11,10,10,2,9,13,3,74,14,68,49,17,73,0,0,1,0,62,27,0,12,34,301,91,10,0.13010429115603106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356820377359687,0.11532960406609333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05202217731604615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847537945234793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400620682764658,0.0,0.1000421690403712,0.0,0.07931036830434522,0.0,0.0553545845699733,0.0,0.06826821338568287,0.0,0.07102009461320358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642551390105357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029825917173045,0.0,0.05193884490278343,0.0,0.0,0.041953252268089686,0.06706590566080714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569275709739945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434272032143047,0.1463498159916926,0.17285067744707067,0.0,0.0,0.04296632863288248,0.0,0.10961847665102152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265074671651667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866131265019914,0.0,0.0502591263047506,0.0,0.2718964890897503,0.06240394565416513,0.11091190037780807,0.05456265333269722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872061638811328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936626503263521,0.11564267191056245,0.0,0.0,0.10725287384729168,0.0,0.0,0.0688808293787991,0.07067934651052295,0.0,0.0,0.0635623848372472,0.0,0.057442236355943276,0.0575691017649037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591502365106614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038480039334031,0.3457006788319756,0.04782081199564421,0.048235341673354866,0.0,0.1884833026944724,0.06918369482272065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927841196822787,0.17632406962569394,0.04947508807402839,0.0,0.07632467656803696,0.0,0.07044513437568173,0.0,0.0,0.056801024340497865,0.06796564648562581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236283744266053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539537382907723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0416740702126643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05555417688474052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349040814608761,0.0,0.05381180705245829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511847184606111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877301309095913,0.0,0.06800662689322269,0.0,0.0,0.14764080779825944,0.12262175469351905,0.0,0.04891111763526058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975711912766557,0.2265916647292752,0.1728710198437949,0.0,0.0,0.1032882743875414,0.03793242922203791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709298756654355,0.0,0.0,0.05618416729318,0.143291495712564,0.05367483291368267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169793826465016,0.060303990680378325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207621024432945,0.0,0.06629369390427467,0.04621117778138488,0.0,0.0,0.041891448933870604
mentalhealth,your_godammn_right,2019/01/01,"I despise humanity. Why? Because apparently people who are so closeted with their feelings need more support than someone who is open with their illness. (Homicidal ideation) Society is just a ornament in this world I deem inferior, I am secretly connected to my own universe, a universe of where only I exist and where only my feelings and thoughts are special while everyone else's energy is something different. I hate humanity so I always talk about mental health on my Facebook. Countless times i am plastered as attention seeking when really I do have OCD and BPD. When I was accused of faking or looking for attention, I had severe homicidal ideation. I wanted to go on a rampage where I kill everybody in sight, and get revenge on this twisted dark world that has oppressed me. Society has broken me, society is the real devil. I'm the only person out of 6 billion who can't be understood. Because im just so unique, I don't want help because all I want is to manipulate therapists, I am not a problem, they are by changing me. I don't need change. I'm toxic, manipulative and I feel utmost pleasure because deep down only I exist to my thoughts, while everyone has different spiritual frequency's from the universe. Deep down im entitled and I want it my way. Where do I go for my intense thrilling, hurting pain. Many times I fantasise about writing a 10 page manifesto on how this world disgusts me and than committing suicide. I'm a Ticking time bomb and once I explode I'm most likely gonna have a suicide attempt and end up in psych wards. If you people really love me than validate my suffering, tell me you deeply relate or empathise and tell me you want me to cry in your arms",4.971191222570532,6.874418432601882,6.291102194357372,72.68548087774295,70.00313479623824,9.492714733542321,36.58445141065831,9.888512548439397,4.175368551724139,1356,76,224,35,25,457,175,319,0.214,0.703,0.083,-0.9923,3,0,1,0,0,2,31.0,0,4,3,1,14,17,4,0,10,0,24,5,1,3,2,45,49,22,3,9,6,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,1,3,8,14,0,0,9,0,0,2,4,11,0,1,5,5,44,6,32,42,5,33,1,3,2,1,20,22,0,4,9,151,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753491203068912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565160222918398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249584540494316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225755171559509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555737191688065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198234311822116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788118600003743,0.0,0.09317606507433816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010464108785504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595769970083102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054962711171615934,0.0,0.11957528428299825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386332079848504,0.0,0.11182278874370367,0.0,0.0,0.07051341065608475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261888468535206,0.0,0.2272683245589425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638832585501595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051395455835187766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834159011731056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949471990832982,0.0,0.0,0.1066563913293683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601695919996597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600908487092366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203467496576718,0.0,0.3200376714072801,0.11194032538261547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586500920109172,0.09185667105979263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066228975645804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197407469841006,0.13478775792140418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884617091864765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891357047952438,0.08098817791157684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301436732158932,0.11937982874771437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455585684887969,0.18389905156085326,0.0,0.0,0.1221454263873663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703425959143245,0.1840290759191472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102487281585504,0.08350294407909142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492672896801373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Winniethepooh33,2019/01/01,"Does anyone wake up with intense emotions and thoughts about human trafficking So I often watch testimonies on human trafficking and documentaries on 
organ harvesting on YouTube. It’s something I think a lot of people I know are somewhat aware of or are aware of and just don’t want to think about it.
 Then if I’m tired I will take a nap and wake up with these intense emotions and thoughts of death, and all that kind of dark stuff. The thing is I have been doing some shadow work and I know I can’t run from that side of me or chop it off. So what next ? What even is my problem probably that I’m a loner. Does anyone have similar experiences...?",4.594704861111111,5.7301170468750025,4.983229166666668,84.66663194444446,69.9375,8.188888888888886,28.284722222222214,8.515128840125781,1.9049086805555555,514,18,103,8,9,163,79,128,0.1,0.868,0.032,-0.8823,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,4,0,11,3,2,0,1,26,21,13,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,11,9,0,0,6,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,1,9,1,18,17,4,10,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,7,2,73,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669141469952927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340540640652364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4293943160648613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260643696209492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867023530311761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987562697462294,0.2097885539956896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226638806656435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20298683069699594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232158798690105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20578448610087752,0.1826317922841827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693701207877213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21849447880440806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435065412460297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680206126373772,0.24459685456744404,0.0,0.3030505890125317,0.0,0.21937095684802152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257697676969268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389518137611103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrowawayT0,2019/01/01,How can mindfulness help depression? I know with anxiety mindfulness helps you calm down... but is it super helpful with depression?,6.068571428571428,9.931682523809528,5.682857142857145,66.7871428571429,80.90476190476191,12.323809523809526,35.57142857142857,10.504223727775694,6.428257142857145,107,6,14,5,3,33,18,21,0.247,0.338,0.415,0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,3,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22105543079526935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4977657512435478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5810561794266913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588061677617345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5835392624629065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WolfGirl520,2019/01/01,"How can I deal with my dad? He makes my mental health so much worse English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 

I’ve always had a hard relationship with my dad but lately it’s just getting worse. We’re on holiday now, and as always on holiday, my dad drinks alcohol every single day. Most days he doesn’t get extremely drunk, but still when he drinks alcohol he gets mad easily and he argues a lot. Today he got mad about some stupid little thing, he was shouting and being rude. I started answering him back which was a mistake. My mom later told me that when he’s drunk I should just shut up and ignore him. I feel like it was my fault. 

This whole situation made me realize how the relationship I have with my dad affects my mental health. I have BPD, PTSD, dealt with addictions and lately been pretty suicidal. And the fact that my dad and I disagree about most things and fight a lot isn’t helping me. I don’t know what to do about it. I still live with my parents so I have to see him everyday, he doesn’t understand my mental health issues when I try to explain it. I wish we had a better relationship",3.107279925477407,4.918969327433633,4.3993898462971615,84.706974848626,74.75221238938053,7.766744294364232,24.284117373078715,8.532816995589336,1.586277876106195,892,28,179,17,19,294,124,226,0.23,0.659,0.111,-0.9865,1,0,4,0,1,0,22.0,1,0,0,2,17,12,6,0,7,0,18,10,0,5,1,41,32,19,1,4,5,7,2,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,11,14,6,1,6,6,0,0,5,10,0,1,9,4,32,2,16,21,8,21,0,0,1,0,30,5,0,5,17,118,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426669777402165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22403635723750287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443334421646756,0.0,0.0,0.07127958862011073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059829410171575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927026834554273,0.0,0.0,0.13201414654229346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519741114219325,0.10806238290308064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20536276273619156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831338129559922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299894751026471,0.0748817419826406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915782987472244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428866999102346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383224088795847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389601593234348,0.0,0.0,0.3342487451179011,0.0,0.0,0.07025705371439518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940238225491077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057605032974377385,0.0,0.2364777238249677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120860369242428,0.10505481049150438,0.09255589526069327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782244161023125,0.0,0.09918098405858417,0.06996658770952299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31689457910965946,0.0,0.0,0.12276115153626088,0.0,0.0,0.07705302486699236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638758337021088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066372211105906,0.0,0.0,0.1225262103961728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376047509554304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352608720471204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781941750987615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419046411753663,0.0,0.16741500322081893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465348407283388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927236317128558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935486541885537,0.10015774557461296,0.0,0.07116429622099132,0.0,0.0,0.10911885840904073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702515027955455,0.12053511151921607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213636257175898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SidsyTheFirst,2019/01/01,"Intrusive Thoughts My mom said she was gonna go shopping tomorrow

My brain proceeded to tell me for 20 minutes that she will definitely (somehow) die.

Like maybe a terrorist attack 

Or maybe the train derails

I absolutely hate it when this happens - which is at least a few times a day, and I have no clue what it even is.",4.0658064516129,5.901546870967742,4.852451612903226,82.35867741935486,72.2258064516129,8.830967741935485,31.754838709677426,9.3871,2.944086451612904,254,12,50,6,5,82,54,62,0.275,0.654,0.071,-0.9432,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,4,0,5,1,1,0,0,4,11,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,3,1,7,1,3,6,2,7,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,6,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953574051069095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898239158847248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743465523853251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26944655561560155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714778243064621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475491155643077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229582799344348,0.0,0.0,0.2563228883841743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683815218133046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5216502122698591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040660455035048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469598911071877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22692099436452665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611079805861754,0.15138762469632852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HARLEENQUlNZEL,2019/01/01,"What is involved with a mental health assessment? What is involved with a mental health assessment?

I was referred by my family doctor for “outpatient mental health services” and upon googling this and the hospital, it says:

>Our outpatient mental health team consists of psychiatrists, social workers and nurses. The team is trained to support you and your family in recovery from mental illness.
Most patients who are referred to our services will be **offered an initial assessment** by one of our clinicians.

1. **Am I getting my hopes up too much in assuming I will be given a diagnosis?** I have been looking for a diagnosis for years and fixate on this issue. 

2. **How long will it be?** I have had one previously, but it was at a mental health hospital specifically. It was supposed to be an hour and lasted 3 hours. 

3. **Is it ok to bring a journal with symptoms and experiences?** I sometimes forget to mention things due to anxiety and want to be sure I am as descriptive as possible. 

Thank you in advance. 
",2.3330564961682403,5.1525383812154715,3.9633398681162006,77.04683122438068,96.12707182320442,6.9763678488682945,29.043129566922122,7.831003766801068,3.1156521475672787,801,42,124,21,31,265,103,181,0.035,0.8809999999999999,0.084,0.8364,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,2,3,0,4,2,5,0,0,10,1,22,8,0,1,1,21,30,12,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,8,1,0,0,11,11,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,2,14,5,27,16,2,15,0,0,1,0,14,7,0,3,6,99,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022034430702306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733230772120823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257669356109296,0.19771208304767152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054786887432830285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5573253582958521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041531864126224,0.20653898730887615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945032305290607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547780580391423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280095991123494,0.08805898854374196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6340668885335915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708678997725725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211653834327628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821791954852832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339172007186411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689520420899022,0.0,0.0,0.10371275244813748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118997936963656,0.0988326740621118,0.10899340115594462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654428672951136,0.0,0.0,0.06966669658948232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185125072425182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752870122954878
mentalhealth,WhatAmI71,2019/01/01,"Aggravated I feel SO aggravated. I feel off-the-chain like I want to rip my hair out. Images flashing before my eyes. Not hallucinations, cravings. My mind was good all day. Now it won't settle down.  


Fuck.  


What the hell is wrong with me?",-0.28999999999999915,1.2865826086956602,1.8518260869565248,89.97904347826088,114.21739130434784,4.448695652173913,15.469565217391304,6.2581,-0.13544521739130388,184,5,38,3,10,61,39,46,0.259,0.5710000000000001,0.17,-0.7891,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,0,3,3,2,0,1,8,7,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,7,2,4,5,1,4,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,3,21,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331893146495508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25252425755006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959697085290528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619915562753856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284225364640142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19129677881189824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3953646841177336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309526449868956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4281101556254789,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BushOfEden,2019/01/01,"Can't let go of resentment towards my parents. They're really supportive of my mental health diagnosis, which makes me incredibly lucky. However, my mom and dad didn't like to rock the boat and question authority even when they didn't think everything a health or educational professional did was right. This greatly hurt me and now I am not as ""afraid"" to make waves, which has mostly positive, but still has mixed results.

​

I still hold resentment for them not listening to me when I was in an awful long-term treatment facility. I'm resentful that we didn't sue my school district when we should've. I thought I was past this, but something today reminded me that I'm not. I don't know how to let go of these things even though they happened 10 years ago.",7.70684482758621,7.6271248137931025,7.591853448275862,72.91536637931038,62.93103448275862,11.663793103448276,36.05603448275862,11.20814326018867,4.022879310344827,618,26,115,16,8,198,97,145,0.125,0.825,0.051,-0.912,2,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,3,0,10,9,3,1,3,1,14,2,0,4,0,22,26,12,0,0,6,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,5,0,1,4,1,0,2,8,5,0,0,8,1,19,4,11,16,1,15,0,1,0,0,10,3,0,4,11,75,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041906416127214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163491619912805,0.19248296260103512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20925387565251527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142366825174641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005374400921134,0.0,0.0,0.17464529210895555,0.0,0.0,0.1400796013719546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367604250256874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957895567907433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705685064529116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32396566333303123,0.0,0.07739010869741578,0.0,0.0,0.14018602526026427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147703462292627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963792640666802,0.0,0.0,0.18552544252669487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589324993414493,0.0,0.15121828480477828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17745312485280948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148017044608752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135279498990294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160317273026507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195015668080572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25300954063611997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975943150871254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523918391829028,0.10150139953213792,0.15563497808138702,0.12575819492122314,0.0,0.0,0.1501521869365058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19248296260103512,0.10200950750308237
mentalhealth,daddylion826,2019/01/01,New year Sucks. All I can think about is being high or pain. I'm so tired of this. ,-2.893859649122806,-1.2855975789473677,-0.6989473684210523,111.35403508771928,103.73684210526315,2.533333333333333,6.333333333333332,3.1291,-2.913961403508772,62,0,18,0,3,20,18,19,0.391,0.609,0.0,-0.8399,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,3,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4577471667492893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4184307549522061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4610032637582826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776059250445141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979514353231659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789955983292836
mentalhealth,dissociationreddit,2019/01/01,"How cannabis has helped me. First, if you ever consider trying to use cannabis please do extensive research first. It does not help everyone and makes things worse for some people.

___________________


I've suffered from depression since about 13 years old, at about 15 heavy social anxiety kicked in, and I had my first psychotic break at 16 which was also my first ever stay in a psychiatric hospital. After several diagnoses, starting with depression with psychotic symptoms, I was diagnosed Schizoaffective sub type depressive at age 19. From 19-21 I spent more time in psychiatric hospitals than out of them, finally after a suicide attempt at age 21 I decided to take my meds seriously and stay on them.


Things got better from there, although far from perfect, despite no psychotic breaks voices constantly harassed me still, social anxiety made it hard to even go see a movie in theaters with friends, and depression caused me to self harm on many occasions. Then last year (2018) at the age of 28 I discovered cannabis, commonly known as weed, I decided to smoke it one time with my roommate and found the voices went away. After experimenting with it further I found my depression was no longer as crippling nor bouts of it didn't last as long. Even when not high, as long as I had smoked once in the past 3 days or so, I found I could even be more sociable and things like theaters and shopping in crowded stores was now tolerable (still not perfect, but I didn't feel like I was going to die anymore either).  


I just wanted to share my experience that has made life so much easier on me and has given me hope for having an actual future with things like actually having a significant other one day. Again, if you decide to try to self medicate with cannabis **please** do your research first and proceed with caution, it doesn't help everyone and for some people may make matters worse.",7.3845238095238095,8.188445915204685,7.081311612364246,73.29973684210529,63.53216374269006,11.075689223057644,35.29156223893065,10.914260884657429,4.062328153717628,1501,65,257,39,21,473,192,342,0.115,0.782,0.103,-0.4878,0,0,2,0,0,1,38.0,0,3,2,9,18,18,1,0,8,0,20,5,0,7,4,54,40,27,2,5,9,0,2,3,1,1,5,2,0,2,13,19,0,0,8,1,3,3,9,9,0,7,18,5,29,9,54,19,6,63,0,6,1,0,15,19,0,7,40,175,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.1531421531196475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274888718885291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200518910466232,0.0,0.07781676013104383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372098501393136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939641935294041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060575370950741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479340469625155,0.0,0.06264837205340923,0.0,0.0,0.10120760143439253,0.0,0.33791139806001635,0.15928180171677375,0.08143487251717378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866574821121102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547730491505124,0.1419531988171694,0.0,0.14995442751520538,0.0,0.15350876570896355,0.0,0.0,0.039674549318253635,0.056055818179250115,0.0,0.08595519548426979,0.0,0.33371386458080593,0.0,0.2581003391899176,0.060622303975238476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918758221680832,0.0,0.06275608350382532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028973762495541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778145077355205,0.08290318171825305,0.0,0.077934014715218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279198228070624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055422551894662726,0.11500294070861515,0.0,0.0,0.13887911881363327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484920372316115,0.10475275321925068,0.07955177131858708,0.0,0.0,0.08715755837432802,0.07904580578152606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057681221586787776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233641534707782,0.08356327015702089,0.10634060053277897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490426418470324,0.1087962916307078,0.0,0.0,0.17226326401072956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252689952988749,0.0,0.16371340236533322,0.08864375864558859,0.0,0.06490752952628741,0.0,0.0,0.15997153240815426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553833360568622,0.16726771277802474,0.12532540953975632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582859702027576,0.0,0.0,0.08155577013167231,0.05899634273533215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20851614988160747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150780858680556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654594148578894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776905845099948,0.0,0.0,0.04628102557517436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273836858561332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992623664556144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105850769603368
mentalhealth,loongfurbymama,2019/01/01,"Lexapro withdrawal i’ve been on lexapro for awhile, and i’m just now trying to go off of it. i slowly sized down my dosage, and then stopped taking it completely around a week ago. i’d never heard of lexapro withdrawal being too bad, but im in hell. zaps, shaking, nausea, panic, cloudiness, dizziness, crying bouts. it’s only gotten worse after 4 days now, and i just want to know if anyone else on here has anything to share from going off lexapro.",4.9848275862068965,6.083604896551727,4.9845402298850585,85.15198275862069,69.0,7.179310344827586,28.29310344827586,7.1686216300943375,1.4873310344827582,354,12,67,3,6,110,67,87,0.253,0.682,0.065,-0.9704,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,1,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,12,11,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,3,1,3,1,15,7,0,19,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,1,9,38,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151402928988243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970257678893494,0.24867643367833006,0.1997227078323678,0.21605584786768026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026456684652656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544679724849799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665962718985534,0.15652243071679214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20274601411397136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27586578400196576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26215933714564543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333824324962476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871864083965332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845854761339797,0.0,0.2847579926285917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20290937513724264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824813717045003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16477843075033735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315167075248245,0.0,0.1946805552775707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473336285059491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nottherealkathleen,2019/01/01,"Uncontrollable nostalgia Nostalgia has been really affectinf me lately, I am almost living in the past, and I literally can’t let the past go at all. Songs from only a year ago have brought me to tears, and hearing a particular song from laat spring straight up triggers me. It gives me such an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. It’s strange because I am so young, and people many years older than me don’t experience this. Is this a disease? Or...anything like that? Is there a logical reason behind this?",4.7925,7.133407967741934,5.692137096774196,74.95820564516131,71.47311827956989,9.381182795698924,30.97983870967742,9.827888789773867,3.4416032258064524,403,18,69,11,8,132,71,93,0.076,0.8740000000000001,0.05,-0.327,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,7,0,10,0,0,2,1,8,14,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,3,8,1,9,11,1,15,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,10,47,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20607870611941567,0.0,0.23279424948949334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131050096746133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171710910103555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274091811314252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301514830115565,0.1321232370369567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26202085569600875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622465648185101,0.0,0.0,0.2377256433290008,0.0,0.1135775513251355,0.0,0.20528331542791947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356973308926546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681084085915869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4438552366133884,0.1611717446597274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893207234516878,0.23902724684670226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994178524643941
mentalhealth,insensitive999,2019/01/01,"i want to go to a doctor about my depression but what if they just reject me? title says it all. 

this is mostly because of my anxiety and i’m really fucking scared to go to them because they will probably reject me and then i’ll feel like shit and ... i don’t know. i’m just rambling on. 

what should i do? i really hate having to talk face to face with someone , especially about my feelings. ",0.5268750000000004,2.9177179375000044,3.017500000000002,87.67750000000002,88.375,6.2,20.5,7.554174236665415,1.0008499999999998,305,10,62,6,10,105,53,80,0.28600000000000003,0.6679999999999999,0.047,-0.9765,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,0,4,8,3,1,1,0,6,5,3,0,1,15,16,6,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,7,0,0,0,3,12,1,11,14,2,4,0,3,0,1,5,1,2,2,2,44,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897110063049829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023437447979844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21359267499749224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25382738359855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25078151156950995,0.17716348461191214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292619554040453,0.0,0.0,0.2818758759191577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448379253413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628834082533342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211549629062248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26737422651627346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177363746621447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972109103868775,0.24828038200942665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545572790922384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101203857928292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932426969577136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627041453738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,elam3736,2019/01/01,"Pls give advice on living happily lol :( Any advice on how to keep yourself from feeling like a burden??? I constantly feel like I over exaggerate my problems, like I should never be sad about things that happen in my life because there are other people going through worse things... I also don’t want to reach out for my internal mental struggles because I feel like a burden and I’m afraid the people I love won’t understand. They have not in the past as many people tell me to just be happy as if its a flick of a switch.... ",3.177950377562027,5.1903896213592216,4.339352750809063,84.33539374325781,75.11650485436894,6.519525350593313,23.09492988133765,7.3871296695380915,1.044336353829558,413,12,77,5,9,135,74,103,0.152,0.581,0.267,0.8999,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,5,12,0,2,6,1,7,2,0,1,1,15,18,6,0,4,3,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,0,3,11,6,16,14,0,10,0,1,0,1,4,6,0,1,7,53,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120959833278461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770466696001406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859521313843484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19469204661025225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256901265117794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24223338458070534,0.3422493965609608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318995682054748,0.09075595595573932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121403809031868,0.16999381524902066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194051138022395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127943274990752,0.31206741453788256,0.0,0.14100989312132234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412717259748686,0.0,0.0,0.16190139646212073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093075650887792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316338176848887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244292831525674,0.33212846023950565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280251918815516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694348615420485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957678899812642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218293000378105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662437440472151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418976530782966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273855763786316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ConfusedMoose8,2019/01/01,"Is this a symptom of depression? So this is super contradicting and I know it sounds stupid.  I feel really lonely all the time, but when my friends invite me out, I dont ""feel"" like leaving home. Like I dont have the energy to do so. I think about it and it just seems like so much work, especially in the evenings. So I just end up isolating myself and binge watching tv, but feeling lonely.  When I do force myself to leave and be with others , I generally feel a lot better. Despite this, 90% of the time I say no and stay home alone. I'll literally dress up all pretty and then have no energy to be with others, and just stay home. A lot of the times I just want someone to come hold me, and that's all, but I can't have that.",2.3604083885209732,3.692898324503311,4.087036423841063,88.1728504415011,75.6887417218543,7.417439293598234,21.85485651214128,8.07648339933343,0.8561518763796911,561,14,126,9,12,189,81,151,0.187,0.672,0.141,-0.5756,0,5,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,12,10,1,0,8,0,12,1,0,0,3,34,21,18,0,1,7,0,4,3,1,0,1,2,3,0,10,12,0,1,7,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,0,7,16,6,14,19,6,14,0,3,1,0,2,4,0,3,10,91,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906964436666376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272957305114086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398425751849712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396800487764237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373733324743213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748060312026094,0.0,0.0,0.09506540967408897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911043990608437,0.10282470466165332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120113316748056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331251416941631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910099773037202,0.0,0.0,0.3048053893334131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109530071574664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24473085780328505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058062261301594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643009732836934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922062155089907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114460119482336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310298475883828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195270746603727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30682369331997744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959995678641394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222550453535734,0.0,0.0,0.2517828754747272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489453799404681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047838587530804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tw000t,2019/01/01,"Dealing with mental Health in a positive light Hey Reddit, I'm looking for examples of people dealing with their every day unhappiness or discomfort through humour or positivity. Feel free to share any accounts of stuff like that you have here, be they your own stories or others, on any level of severity- maybe it'll cheer you up, or cheer someone else up. In short, what makes you laugh? What takes the edge off when you're feeling at your worst?",7.3556626506024125,7.9906395060241024,6.806891566265062,75.82696385542171,63.57831325301206,9.531566265060242,33.46746987951808,9.3871,3.0049778313253013,361,14,63,6,5,112,67,83,0.097,0.621,0.28300000000000003,0.9569,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,5,2,0,2,9,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,9,9,5,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,7,8,15,7,2,11,0,0,1,0,11,9,0,4,3,40,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219845986723257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526786454961196,0.4881400645570893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977670974882028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19946487616117373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394071735612344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516450832021012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565991069583277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988031871234142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802675141819478,0.0,0.23783859953801345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23857969219365746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412670793255804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26745044462824824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20059025625704616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710123121493792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780001021740332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LividLibrarian,2019/01/01,"I want to connect with people I want to connect with people. I'll feel a mild connection or I'll care about someone a little bit, and I love that feeling, then it goes away. I want to care about at least someone but I can't for some reason. I find myself caring a little bit, then it just goes away I don't know why. All I want in life is to do good for the world and genuinely laugh and have a personality but I can't.",1.1306868131868129,2.662198043956046,3.239656593406597,92.09596840659344,79.54945054945055,5.868681318681317,20.166208791208803,6.6274283507984215,0.07404285714285708,326,8,76,3,8,111,51,91,0.0,0.706,0.294,0.9677,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,6,2,0,1,1,20,17,8,0,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,10,6,14,17,5,9,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,2,2,50,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30149682188475624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35034051091165835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4907695585801696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225706326228595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664873782048993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457816375338238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817933108708763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333084639215064,0.0,0.3216268592621784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448127296890412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22247217772054206,0.1400990803809486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496971058047666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27189816758747143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785511580412369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478150882839427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,happysober,2019/01/01,"hi i'm a rapper with social anxiety and i made a music video i am a rapper/musician with social anxiety and i made a music video on behalf, i hope anyway, of others like me. we struggle everyday about how people perceive us. we are people too even with our disorders. check it out if you want.

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[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyVql1HXk08](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyVql1HXk08)",7.284790528233148,11.450107606557374,5.043497267759566,70.97522768670314,79.49180327868852,6.645537340619308,21.531876138433514,7.793537801064563,1.877260837887068,328,9,41,6,9,93,43,61,0.099,0.779,0.122,0.3313,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,4,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,3,0,15,7,4,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,10,2,7,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,2,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310509316191552,0.2591160867185491,0.0,0.0,0.326263771906277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443973115437313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084634987189784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21180045877754236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418076408124492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40355526050329227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29567454679297595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4347529647895514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229300354436141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565075490121844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577746039821322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591160867185491,0.0
mentalhealth,astralpoppy,2019/01/01,"obsessed with food waste what do I used to have issues binging and restricting but I've worked through them. what I still have an issue with is I'll eat ANYTHING that's about to get thrown away. when I was full vegetarian my exception was meat that was about to get thrown away. at work I will sometimes eat multiple extra food items that were gonna get thrown away and I shiver seeing what does get thrown away. sometimes I get sick if it's a lot of junk but I feel awful letting it go. I write this post now cause I just saw my roommates threw away pretzels and popcorn in the bag so I ate it out of the trash and I was like ""hmm yes technically the food didn't touch the trash but also I just ate food out of the trash"". how do I stop being a raccoon?",1.3262499999999982,3.4674435477707064,2.3668113057324867,95.57085390127388,81.67515923566879,5.198885350318472,20.00358280254777,6.322622252153567,-0.08727993630573261,595,16,134,5,16,188,93,157,0.108,0.847,0.045,-0.8176,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,10,2,0,1,8,2,14,9,0,3,0,23,28,12,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,8,8,2,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,10,4,16,1,21,14,4,17,0,0,2,0,2,10,0,2,5,89,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159705648279548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425610474442994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5380673292233275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766343765024817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002341348047528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344046476332441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791452402807092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5540056237214593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29921034827758164,0.0,0.06509533771722573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23909859321651966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712421965726988,0.0,0.055958128383860335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973772377908749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969701135166836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127301223200993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265646415404017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147125256415553,0.0957600040783306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892520095280344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16677198489854184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sunriseovermtshasta,2019/01/01,How do you stay safe/healthy between appointments? I am waiting to see my doctor and find a therapist and I am struggling with depression. I can’t get in for at least a week or maybe longer. What are some things you do to take care of yourself and manage your illness between appointments when you are really struggling?,4.823,7.016948633333339,4.626666666666669,83.265,71.0,8.133333333333335,32.0,8.841846274778883,2.8309,258,12,46,5,5,79,46,60,0.194,0.755,0.05,-0.8466,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,7,2,0,1,0,9,12,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,8,1,9,12,2,5,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,2,2,36,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26777085939177225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262045836983117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688150126815715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24004091860455085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721439660362422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638491755595885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16824880431200434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928372584212548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799308010350222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5491200452313969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19746660255891216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304936030671831,0.1744810516496931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210667573768552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CharmingOil,2019/01/01,"I need advice from British people. Hello,

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I was reffered to secondary mental health services assesment, however, it keeps getting delayed. Right now it's at the end of March, could there be any way to change the dare to an earlier one? Perhaps speaking to my GP?

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I am an EU student and I would really like to get some help as soon as possible, I can no longer really control my feelings, I would really appreciate any kind of advice.",4.867857142857143,7.0729472142857155,5.806666666666668,74.805,70.90476190476191,8.609523809523811,33.42857142857143,9.23628265651192,3.456757142857142,362,18,59,8,7,119,63,84,0.048,0.848,0.104,0.6952,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,0,7,2,1,1,0,10,12,3,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,8,2,11,7,1,8,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,1,6,39,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020579857802536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349197478611409,0.3756015776365183,0.2102048927141464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349830229859733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334615638070713,0.12339929354433014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688952539954244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814746332735334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149682734405976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428434134631353,0.0,0.0,0.10359470869813443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373752539554207,0.0,0.16094486065625774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550758396331614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557547125177209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460029766742845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473021525314034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714871821431213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423711983738396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29703495522388845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198880710276165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267826909552018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21958234545831204,0.0,0.3756015776365183,0.0
mentalhealth,veryverytiredbruh,2019/01/01,"Why am i so scared of taking my own meds? [No side effects, just paranoid] My doc prescribed me some Clonazepam 1mg and told me to use half a pill when i'm having a panic attack. i used one half now after i woke up from a nightmare and i'm feeling really calm and *serene*, i'm not getting any side effects at all, but i'm getting all sorts of paranoid thoughts like ""What if my heart stopped? what if that was an overdose? what if i somehow died?"" and these thoughts are driving me insane.

Like, i took the pill according to my doc's instructions, i'm not feeling particularly *high* or euphoric, the last pill i took was a month ago, and the panic's gone. everything's perfect, but i'm still worried that i might have *done something wrong.*

Any advice? should i just stop thinking too much?

P.S : i have Panic Disorder.",2.239907407407408,4.50603649382716,3.2180092592592615,90.0247916666667,79.12345679012346,5.531481481481482,26.79166666666667,6.6274283507984215,1.11252962962963,640,27,128,6,16,204,99,162,0.17,0.701,0.129,-0.7174,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,1,4,8,0,10,4,1,4,3,34,31,13,1,4,10,0,2,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,7,0,0,4,3,6,0,3,10,2,16,4,8,19,5,18,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,8,11,78,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476071129879424,0.12224585999872467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756240320858916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688864055588886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312525463073109,0.0,0.1580528852888551,0.0,0.0,0.14112630875235094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394153943921575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394594182568906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441009895445499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341995813356303,0.0,0.1457058705485223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124122666718593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474837550896646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531831186042291,0.0,0.0,0.14629708535431826,0.0,0.0,0.1100757143214897,0.0,0.1013772020737135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344906585092952,0.0,0.0,0.4854109646038732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834648473907578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806854190699006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616722073651268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013237079910393,0.2305921473958505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368858346890114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836496633127781,0.0,0.2189648361760297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317756444979582,0.3064385633154028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238214009479506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443923604684053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005082342594932,0.0,0.0,0.15077919337614085,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,freefallingboy07,2019/01/01,Happy yesterday sad today When i do Something fun with friends or family the next day I feel extreme shitty.  The feeling that I don’t deserve it.  What can I do about it?,1.382941176470588,3.89186994117647,3.3426470588235304,86.23691176470591,84.88235294117645,5.752941176470588,26.14705882352941,7.1686216300943375,1.56884705882353,134,6,25,2,4,45,27,34,0.162,0.557,0.281,0.5994,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,3,2,6,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,18,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24953379102056056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36475724937961496,0.0,0.39128051877936304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29893630748967576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4118874964430778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114977674580436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29787278425774816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667584462579581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Victoria-Arouet,2019/01/01,"Self Segregation In Adolescence I’ve observed this problem very frequently among my friends and even myself.

Elementary schoolers sit in one classroom all day and usually have to sit at a lunch table with their class as well. In the US that’s usually 20 kids, and in most cases kids will have one or two best friends, 6 close ones and then other acquaintances they play with once or twice. Statistically 7% of people have chronic depression (though 20% have a non chronic/situational case), 5% have attempted suicide, and 4% have a mental illness classed as severe such as a PD or delusional disorder. Around 10% engage in serious self harm such as cutting/burning but 30% have subclinical behaviors like picking scabs and biting skin around their nails. Again chronic cases are around 6%. So that’s 1 or 2 kids. They feel isolated and often have to deal with ignorance and often teasing.

Middle schoolers move classes and can choose lunch tables to sit at. They can make friends with their entire grade (300 kids in the US). 5% is 15 instead of 1 and 10% is 30. So if you have 8 close friends they can all be dealing with the same issues as you. Problem is they encourage and romanticize it and it becomes part of your identity, so it becomes very hard to recover without feeling less than or like you’ve lost a part of yourself.",6.134617046818729,7.561557016326534,6.213445378151263,76.18420168067229,66.59183673469389,9.356542617046818,34.81992797118848,9.627879704456738,3.463300120048019,1059,50,184,22,17,336,143,245,0.125,0.747,0.128,0.6997,0,0,0,0,0,1,33.0,2,3,8,3,15,20,1,0,8,0,18,7,1,2,2,44,22,29,1,3,8,0,4,2,4,1,4,0,0,6,7,22,2,1,3,1,0,1,1,8,1,5,1,4,15,12,32,19,8,25,0,2,0,0,27,15,0,9,8,125,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30751832177377103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543437752014997,0.0,0.0,0.12084069182979215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426091554417266,0.2374250045905883,0.09917677896561963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196955107936262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605414906716458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644454821255122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35585214800425186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314996493168696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201845656706918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125109648716144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569761294727466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686216499140205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160420719936122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238407048995853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262883142721442,0.23408173624785894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493880636924743,0.0,0.07982910482810482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203621149504636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402488938418767,0.13008443201897904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595319134658606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313229717878745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248283632011057,0.0,0.27701766339232753,0.0,0.2536384448412019,0.19001827121194795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103531854927595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099853528270487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1000asses,2019/01/01,Can someone help me grow into an adult? Give me advice. Anything will do .. who cares about my age,0.32877192982456194,2.737458368421052,1.1642105263157916,97.99614035087721,96.89473684210527,2.533333333333333,16.859649122807017,3.1291,-1.032382456140351,75,2,15,0,3,23,18,19,0.0,0.759,0.241,0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4479393556980345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772209257304328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4673653661591604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397353008258552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30725323780531866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38839752108962017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,honorless-scumlord,2019/01/01,"Need some help with 10 year daughter Before the obligatory ""get a therapist/doctor"" replies come in, I'm working on that.  Unfortunately her GP was pretty worthless when we brought this up to her and told us ""it's probably normal but here's a generic list of therapists you can get in Google.""

My 10 year daughter has had some social anxiety her entire life.  For instance, team sports or friend building events have always been hard for her.  She had potential on soccer but would do things like kick the ball put of bounds on purpose instead of going for a goal.  She has had issues making friends in school and instead of playing with lots of kids, she holds 2 or 3 friends very close in an almost obsessive way.  

During any family events or outing, she starts out fine, but will completely shut down.  Act unhappy. Wont talk.  Completely closea inside of herself.  Wont eat at family dinners.

We have worked with her through her social quirks, but recently things have accelerated specifically at night.  About 2 times a week she will wake up and act ""possessed."" Howling screams. Throws herself out of her bed, bangs on doors, has locked herself in the bathroom once.  She flails and throws herself into walls...its very traumatic and scares the living hell out of her siblings.  I'm genuinely concerned shes going to hurt herself during these events. 

She refuses to talk to us about these events and acts normal the following morning.  She has told her mother that she is ""seeing things"" and that is what makes her act as she does. Not sure what all this is but we're exhausted and not sure how to find the right kind of help for her.  As a father it rips my insides apart that she isnt happy and has to act out in the ways she does. ",5.224279487179487,6.8363063138461575,4.976788461538462,83.50066987179491,68.93846153846154,8.001282051282052,28.618589743589745,8.472884824447931,2.029258974358974,1372,49,255,21,24,421,183,325,0.134,0.789,0.078,-0.9642,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,4,1,0,4,7,17,1,2,13,0,25,5,1,3,3,49,41,21,0,4,10,4,1,1,3,5,2,1,2,1,15,21,2,3,1,5,0,13,5,7,0,0,8,3,36,10,47,28,4,51,1,2,1,0,52,24,1,7,13,163,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492844216897948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719067817694114,0.0,0.0,0.0712583445542186,0.0,0.08016130837193923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891655076103347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026420426025343,0.21973309127640098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072533194894104,0.18339856770140056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722264606321028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756658232960655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577287026049493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24287313564878085,0.0,0.10949313708835186,0.0,0.11910505063602415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154707016099218,0.09386803129904113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047222880666616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217600730328024,0.0,0.0,0.10936977612653134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911890952481618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401373246944501,0.05119334155396157,0.0,0.09252831003502507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908564917706227,0.0,0.0,0.139891469937061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769778706632413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833493697473286,0.20533684539350824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159409500718624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660543910685458,0.11297746103367108,0.0,0.0,0.10533927312680544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346392742250153,0.0,0.0,0.08948701214694348,0.0,0.0,0.10490946546857134,0.1060494300006034,0.08350119321002661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21363307530277206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416835249850527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197519881799428,0.0,0.0,0.16844667645068134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433301711479944,0.20884628195524613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110179188863046,0.0,0.0,0.20025578940886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25209027181850513,0.0,0.0,0.1729195064809326,0.0,0.16634913213769195,0.08405332860714301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525714928486712,0.0,0.0,0.07443725133443975,0.0,0.0,0.13495801071361155
mentalhealth,TwentyTwoMilTeePiece,2019/01/01,"Bad friends? I'll try kep this short. Over maybe the past year things have been rough, I moved to the next town, which is about 1 hour away. Now my friends said they would visit, and they did, once, for about 2 hours. Now they went out with each other all the time, but would never come see me or even invite me. I asked them plenty of times to come stay or have a night out, and they would either decline and declare themselves busy, or on multipke occasions say ""okay"", for them to just tell me ""can't come, feel like sh*t"" once i'd called them to see where they were on the day. It's been around 6 months or so since they visited, and I've lived here for 7. The funny part, is part of the group moved around themselves, even to places around 2 hours away (all further than I live), and they visit each other all the time. It's just passed new years, and I see photos of them on social networking sites, even people that don't go out very often were out, except little ol' me. I asked if I could tag along if I could somehow get there, figuring why not, got nout else to do. But I was left on read. Sadly I don't have any friends now, obviously these guys ain't by any measure.",6.396313969571231,4.92789745228216,5.854118257261412,88.86203492392809,66.17842323651452,9.029183955739972,26.72233748271093,7.1686216300943375,0.9492403872752422,910,16,212,6,12,278,143,241,0.037000000000000005,0.903,0.06,0.6581,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,11,0,19,7,0,0,8,1,21,0,0,0,5,47,35,15,0,7,13,0,2,1,3,3,0,2,0,1,9,20,0,0,2,1,0,11,6,2,0,0,9,7,25,5,33,21,8,52,0,1,3,0,26,22,0,8,19,134,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570141423182594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26646383253106953,0.1865530982118342,0.0,0.1874845831880783,0.0,0.08330830816506478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188185948729007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578430691013361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932510830702368,0.0,0.0,0.06434689175275696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334956059492778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19770217192360912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05044945032070571,0.07127958005863165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23125872620701016,0.0,0.05212853892593308,0.0,0.05670467057077059,0.0,0.0797995181155508,0.0,0.0,0.09879335257252644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29477607172483283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840628588233432,0.0,0.0,0.04874523041185507,0.1000011828879398,0.17620704784518332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023782022279484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963978841427308,0.2120909627459367,0.0,0.0,0.07695295494402819,0.09636372247679377,0.10611229120845664,0.09363247279562803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21251513218741205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609411385864005,0.0952469283137288,0.06917171340337233,0.0,0.10424407789341213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980242075005047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490927286055507,0.0793454187591199,0.0,0.0,0.2385242755679776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253525856107474,0.0,0.0,0.1017084757814658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634732228918577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720811495087558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628635564410251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453954950659162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774096082027943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232517091341396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249281404390773,0.09003179757035112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21263278723646697,0.0,0.0,0.1285041985631337
mentalhealth,lilithsspawn,2019/01/01,"I can't overcome myself to go see a doctor Hey there,

since many months I suspect I have BPD. My mental health is getting worse, but I can't overcome myself to go see a doctor, even though there is one two streets away from home.

For about four years now I don't work and live of my parents money, as they provide food, shelter, clothing and much more for me, and I feel absolutely terrible about that. It makes me feel like a parasite.

I know that I will have to change things, because my parents wont be there forever and with an age of 21 years I have to stand on my own feet. I don't know what's blocking me from seeing a doctor, and I know that my *fear* is very irrational.  


I hope you can help me... I'm very desperate.",4.550133333333335,4.453800946666668,5.2273333333333305,87.27033333333334,69.53333333333333,8.266666666666667,28.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,1.5170666666666666,562,18,125,6,9,182,92,150,0.103,0.8029999999999999,0.094,-0.0836,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,1,8,4,0,1,5,0,14,6,1,1,0,16,28,8,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,2,4,0,1,0,6,6,1,1,6,0,1,2,5,2,0,3,0,5,25,2,16,25,3,11,0,0,3,0,6,3,0,1,6,84,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191350264013602,0.0,0.0,0.08558853584911952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683301515409666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852805262639873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311261170981739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273504176373963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799272358115002,0.1419842332614151,0.1003041307435884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697762025732898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733549184717153,0.0,0.1595888383748671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492421202797275,0.0,0.0,0.09410935850105744,0.0,0.14083593686225732,0.13945213637540993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23148591122346585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859395019352353,0.0,0.12397866787701932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372027914262024,0.14234688798418588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149348227110078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120685579646541,0.0,0.1032125652504115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951408956790492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31180245197827483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33564970644342235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161430434755123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327769997484596,0.0,0.1379455089877819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715360242394506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316948191893109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221525948234786,0.0,0.14308293653418094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083021705759536
mentalhealth,sadgirlfromseattle,2019/01/01,"Hope is January white / Today’s the day I choose me. ""January White"" by Sleeping at Last
[January White](https://youtu.be/_tVnjOxunnY)

So let's press undo.
Rearrange the old and call it new-
January white.

Every calendar is playing the same old trick:
A year will disappear, replaced with counterfeit 
But we'll never really mind.

'cause if nothing else, we're given a little time
To change the game, a chance to redefine
Everything we are,
In our january white.

This year is a sealed envelope,
A culmination of hopes,
The lottery result that we've been crossing fingers for.

We could paint our walls a lighter shade of blue,
Or we could pack our bags and change the entire view
To january white.

If nothing else, we're given a little time
To change the heart in which we change our minds;
Our hourglasses turn.

This year is a sealed envelope;
With apprehensive hope
We brace for anything.
I swear, I understand that nothing changes that,
The past will be the past,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.

Well, we could let our guards down a little easier this time,
We could trust that when there's joy, there's nothing dark behind.
In spite of history,
Hope is january white.

This year, we're starting over again
Letter openers in hand,
A chance to take a chance.
I swear, I understand that the past will be the past,
And nothing changes that,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.

——————

Hi guys. 
I just recently started posting here after being a reddit lurker for 5 years.

If you look at my two previous posts, you can kinda see what I’ve been dealing with. 

My sadness is prevalent in everything I do and it’s gotten to the point where I literally cannot function and have an extreme fear of people. Isolation has kept me safe but tortured me too. I don’t want to be sad anymore. I don’t want to feel like a ghost. I don’t want to die. I don’t want my impulsive decisions and not my own heart and mind to choose that for me. I’m tired of being terrified of my own demons and what they can do. I want to love people wholeheartedly without fear of it being reciprocated and be okay with it. 

—

So I’m choosing help, I’m choosing hope today.
I’m packing my bag and going to the behavioral hospital, seeking options to not feel like this anymore.
I have no idea what this really means..

I plan on kicking 2019’s ass. 
But I’m not going to lie to you, it’s really fucking hard.
I’m terrified. I want to die a little. I am alone and nobody knows.
But I choose hope. I choose living. I choose me. 

Thank you.
",3.1378260869565224,5.49727043271222,4.018457556935818,84.95389751552796,76.55693581780538,7.429813664596272,25.82091097308489,8.389252357687651,1.8642438923395448,1981,74,379,39,46,635,216,483,0.131,0.736,0.133,-0.9079,0,2,0,0,0,2,78.0,14,4,1,1,11,25,4,3,30,1,41,9,6,2,1,83,80,24,3,20,15,0,6,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,22,23,0,3,16,2,0,4,11,9,1,1,6,16,50,16,47,57,3,52,1,2,10,3,27,18,2,12,30,230,72,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408328551784692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415351611566182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272568649895645,0.0,0.0,0.05091741276026144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318074688308202,0.0,0.0,0.06356211979981083,0.3927298791112031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976069025579863,0.0,0.0,0.0399039112654907,0.06378985665586105,0.0,0.0,0.12843185218447736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337635212520226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052131905500300384,0.0,0.11121755915015218,0.0,0.0,0.13925195080498565,0.06257117738414984,0.08840626051154092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057201945985748875,0.0,0.0,0.07032936886801416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126544837351099,0.0,0.0,0.05542736737771755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664307819856093,0.04147314972245198,0.0,0.0,0.3687318300622472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984873975198744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03400458788131098,0.050435947360132696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265416654482565,0.0,0.0604574765303166,0.2480578762832618,0.05463628630723262,0.0,0.05195896723141341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055844120525026464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739943165337127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742671407813494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04772140195213452,0.05975874399188207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968510903044294,0.0,0.1298536855083251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362647128532821,0.08579192680621937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849136914743466,0.0,0.1185172678354302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891510025573332,0.0,0.06109356973002882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0493059377988382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191915013405111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759012977779798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04652189740955897,0.0,0.0,0.05696569440003356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823849460500698,0.07111559557152099,0.11729951631393225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730165036728332,0.060442361725778965,0.1288270006521478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21897097589352607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563257498118196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059644776395004526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992256345655803
mentalhealth,paisleyno2,2019/01/01,"Positive escitalopram (Cipralex/Lexapro) experiences for high-functioning individuals I might be starting 2019 off with my first anti-depressant. My GP has suggested escitalopram based on my symptoms. Over the past 3-4 months (out of no where) I have experienced a few panic attacks and very high baseline anxiety. I also experienced mid-level depression that has fluctuated to periods of major depression. 

Essentially I've begun to get anxious in normal situations (talking to co-workers) and have experienced a strong diminishment in enjoyment of normal activities (my job, sports, etc). 

I believe that multiple life events in a short timeframe have created this situation (marriage, new home, new job - within a 12 month period). 

I'm looking for any experiences that high-functioning individuals have had on this anti-depressant. What I mean by ""high-functioning"" are just people that are actually working full-time jobs, have a supportive family, have friends and interests outside of work, are eating correctly, are working out and taking care of their bodies, are not abusing drugs, etc. As the research I have done suggests that SSRIs work significantly better for those in a high-functioning state (but experiencing a depressed/anxious disorder). 

Please comment on what escitalopram has done for you. 

Specifically looking for comments on: 

* Anxiety 
* Depression
* Motivation
* Focus 
* Happiness 
* Extraversion 
* Cognition",8.231324404761907,11.795868888392857,8.85125,50.60208333333339,65.47321428571428,12.659523809523812,41.91666666666666,11.675519718221192,7.007082738095237,1157,70,138,47,21,385,142,224,0.106,0.7390000000000001,0.155,0.8889,3,0,1,1,0,0,55.0,0,1,1,8,3,13,1,1,9,0,20,5,1,1,1,16,29,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,10,7,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,3,6,12,8,29,24,4,28,0,3,2,0,9,16,0,1,11,94,22,9,0.0,0.10308038209248696,0.08489912760039504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957360428473358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916275862083761,0.0,0.13310901811172662,0.09828486308861907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897468376150932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801883529542957,0.0,0.07694413773917264,0.0,0.09663702016752716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870196130183901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374663439387736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099709158570253,0.0,0.0,0.17806173512246384,0.0,0.0,0.10089199607863827,0.08902238141244698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19405525768242265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020474144074696,0.0820155456531608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400187445172315,0.0,0.0,0.0672157288607874,0.0,0.04545373654637435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261276595859007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595996373172126,0.08726776205016433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25900124319445544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061450439469377074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611562194383526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476814493667783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922929009192099,0.0,0.0,0.13888461237460512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804964590745874,0.0,0.0,0.17048240870565073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102075367058252,0.0,0.0,0.08305102877667388,0.0603146165666664,0.0,0.0,0.09549951162487046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955825473722736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157881387260615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872619398098666,0.0,0.09042596821200123,0.06541292423817964,0.0699270388729793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178383869822952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166839778658737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Azr3all,2019/01/01,"I'm a diagnosed schizophrenic, and I have children. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia this year. I have visual, auditory, and physical hallucinations.  Sometimes I believe my teeth are melting out of my head, other times I believe people are going to kill and replace my family. I have tons of hallucinations. Some repeatedly show up: a huge black bird, a man that watches me, and shadow people. Some physical hallucinations include me tasting blood in my mouth, or feeling pain from an imaginary knife stabbing me. I am on medication, and self medicate with cannabis. 

I(25f) am married, and have 2 children. A 5 year old daughter, and a 1 year and a half old son. My 5 year old is very mature. She helps with her brother, and is very understanding to me. She tried to calm me down, and talks to me if I happen to have an episode around her. ",4.316883116883115,6.785166402597407,5.4038961038961055,75.91155844155847,73.28571428571428,8.296103896103896,31.779220779220786,9.04235418022936,3.1021220779220777,662,32,115,15,14,218,91,154,0.054000000000000006,0.865,0.081,0.2632,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,8,0,12,11,4,0,0,21,17,12,1,1,2,3,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,4,3,15,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,4,23,1,17,16,3,17,0,0,2,0,13,7,0,4,9,79,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131331616212764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324281319328936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994765833388354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907671188278478,0.0,0.07459482720107559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384382933473712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045893886113602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140677225471255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888522372009304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321839396924984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29723882562314946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4644189371304701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698069368319165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455533115726146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390436904501345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590942919075248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857779596176878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602503728935014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001621471532594,0.0,0.0,0.15358234021203065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434528764752347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800139912523659
mentalhealth,healthanxietysucks,2019/01/01,"Anybody else have health anxiety? It's maddening. For 3 weeks I have done nothing but worry. I keep finding symptom after symptom of a specific disease (ALS), that come and then go. I have one symptom I focus on at a time, and when i'm convinced it's nothing I just move on to another one. Currently my symptom is that I can't seem to walk right. Had this multiple times but it's always for different reasons and then it passes. The reason now is I feel like I can't place my feet the way I want them to, like I have balance issues. I've obsessively done clinical balance tests today (found a test sheet for doctors online) and while my balance isn't great it's nothing that indicates disease.

Anybody else crazy like this?",3.070552546045505,5.25834976056338,4.458732394366198,82.55089382448539,76.04225352112675,7.186132177681474,30.64138678223185,8.139509932561175,2.4535215601300107,574,28,105,10,13,190,84,142,0.091,0.778,0.131,0.7669,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,1,5,0,12,8,1,2,0,16,20,10,0,1,3,0,1,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,10,5,0,1,6,0,0,5,3,1,0,2,4,1,14,5,11,16,0,22,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,14,66,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561869678700668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310066126602269,0.0971036480047094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934182208259786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261831071797708,0.0,0.1299216391867432,0.0,0.2597937284148035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21207301457426087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418130423699893,0.09068119443416298,0.0,0.0,0.116014761623218,0.0,0.0,0.1391758417580757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213913512290014,0.0,0.0,0.1399444415372087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492419132217828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248541545839104,0.0,0.11282417359875747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860396363059196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491003885455768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653878530610416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720266153697515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261831071797708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610172025002066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840036802033724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555533395343698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5277293161533523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803168791809598,0.0,0.12031795242044405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486856521074506,0.10075376700464253,0.10181825871431614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890695543251984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,p3achy-Angel,2019/01/01,"Crippling anxiety, caused by colors I (18M) have been diagnosed with multiple anxiety problems, the most notable one is GAD (generalized Anxiety Disorder) and sometimes its crippling. The weirdest things give me horrible anxiet some examples being; Mustard yellow, Lime green, and different shades of bright green that fall between yellow and green. Now keep in mind there are more serious things that give me EVEN worse anxiety, like loud voices, taller people approaching me, and not feeling like I'm enough for anyone. 

But I'm asking mostly about the first ones...why in the world would a COLOR have this much power over how I feel. It's just a color minding it's own business, why do I have such an oversion to it? I hate feeling this way, and I'm terrified to tell my therapist, because im afraid he wouldn't take it seriously, (hes a new therapist, I literally had my first appt with him the other week). 

Allow me to describe the exact feeling such colors give me;

- I feel like I need to put as much distance between me and the color as possible, when I see it. 

- I feel like I'm in danger when I see it.

- I get this pit in my stomach, and my throat tightens up.

- i have noticed I start to develop a cold sweat when i see it, being worn on a person. Like if someone is wearing a lime green shirt I get very nervous

I really dont think I'm crazy, or have undiagnosed mental disorders that lead to this, but I am open to that idea, seeing as there really aren't many explanations for this...


I'm sorry for the long read but this is very complicated for me. Any advice helps ",5.343852459016394,6.164014491803282,6.335860655737708,76.79952868852463,68.01639344262296,9.640983606557377,30.98770491803279,9.766711354998122,2.9630295081967217,1240,48,230,27,20,413,168,305,0.103,0.833,0.064,-0.6509,2,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,4,12,13,2,2,15,0,20,6,5,4,1,41,49,19,0,5,7,0,6,5,0,2,1,2,0,1,21,10,0,1,8,1,0,4,4,7,0,3,3,25,30,6,28,42,8,25,0,0,16,0,10,10,0,5,15,148,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926661031579826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644871818973612,0.0,0.2901766470411597,0.0,0.0,0.06630685768421005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865260281923715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780706654040006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974158221904506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624975240685373,0.0,0.0990764444260089,0.217365207283896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113924379584664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798402558071187,0.0,0.06263386418145417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28769128733429805,0.20323823170873595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161323523438042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908879994478116,0.2729067421528688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362430998051448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356208684928633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070507471012148,0.1024319264186716,0.0,0.0,0.08428864690667796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316440516108381,0.0,0.0,0.0839209542849273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614203519063187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556563929423244,0.0,0.19150113841263425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942090650443809,0.07031473098222367,0.0,0.09158673746836188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796379672348168,0.0,0.0,0.0642587939222077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574270267773301,0.08280129480710402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690579743550883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907388416531783,0.0,0.0953296474898526,0.0,0.0,0.09485497107215934,0.0,0.12150016706760412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022667264510794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034856571043954,0.0,0.09378861129550037,0.10615364753980937,0.06712067293339274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129983865052703,0.0,0.0828849957621761,0.0,0.0,0.22020827323594871,0.12600075829517451,0.060762792112682436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564882223660593,0.0,0.07527109147525403,0.07606635159540219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113740307959094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663916727829296,0.06736402026700504,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ifukedupbigtime,2019/01/01,How do I know if I’m just having high energy or could this be mania? I’m in the middle of a high energy bout. It lasts days even weeks at a time. I like it but I’m a little worried if it’s mania. I was diagnosed with mild chronic depression a few years ago. But things have got a lot better in my life. It’s probably nothing to worry about. ,-1.1007999999999996,0.9513008533333362,2.2816666666666663,92.0625,93.8,5.666666666666668,15.5,7.1686216300943375,0.0905999999999998,264,6,60,5,10,95,54,75,0.1,0.741,0.159,0.3396,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,6,0,6,3,0,1,0,11,11,6,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,7,7,2,13,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,4,7,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19155846887813024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911217490302505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725372368255785,0.0,0.0,0.13936579135965174,0.0,0.18612550335207198,0.21933564308249487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273116070896671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17283388038422398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4566403061685878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876220023665025,0.17614929198425275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263691055810866,0.10557491475205064,0.2165876798467406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371939654663197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073525416644068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329909604545034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356638151510806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600889635305526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334135129607528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.438917461922655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391604849741762
mentalhealth,vanjie98,2019/01/01,"You know that feeling... You know that feeling when you’re just lay in bed and you feel the whole world around you crumble, no one to reach out to, no where to go and you’re just empty. Nothing left in you anymore. Just completely and utterly empty. You’re still there but you might as well just be an empty shell. When the only feeling you know is pain and despair, when all you can do is cry and lie there. When you just need someone to hold out their hand but there’s no one there anymore because the world has crumbled, no one else sees it but you. You’re clinging onto what’s left of the world by the tips of your fingers but sometimes the pain gets too much and you just want to let go.
You know that feeling? Yeah me too.",1.2443708053691258,3.5154281476510083,1.7425461409395986,99.15596686241614,82.95973154362417,4.261912751677853,20.72189597315436,5.148860815047168,-0.36560100671140905,570,17,127,2,16,173,76,149,0.174,0.726,0.1,-0.93,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,13,1,0,20,4,0,0,7,1,8,4,2,0,1,33,23,15,0,2,10,0,7,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,9,0,1,9,0,0,2,4,3,1,3,0,8,15,1,15,20,3,19,0,1,1,0,14,12,0,1,5,89,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976465859946034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335888906690766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914777004784998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733938465714048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483839975139505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535932436158773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793846639067956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840231397823795,0.0,0.17056980601120994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298852841572573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260902314963268,0.15345073953636054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591943269272872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031440175865433,0.11127065054447637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399057947602592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050620134521365,0.1141305326086956,0.3193576281224741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958168231726495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271488499213124,0.0,0.14841726117321935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984140763848965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885117115874636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492567436873454,0.0,0.0,0.16754124145145427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,notwhoyourthink,2019/01/01,"Help? Sorry this might not make sense. It’s just a load of notes and need to share and hope someone can make sense of them.

I’m 35
Neurofibromas suffer 
One lung
Back pain
Unable to move neck
Never kissed anyone
Never had a girl friend
Have no friends
Still live at home with my parents 
Live in a rural area
No public transport 
Unable to drive
Don’t trust people 
No good at small talk
Don’t know how to start or keep a conversation going’s 

Told I’m Stupid


Love silence 
Sometimes it’s feels like my heads going to explode 
I feel I need to scream 

Told we will just get your sister to do it and not ask you. Asked for information to do a job they asked me to do

Grow up in the middle of no where with no friends

More or less told I’m not have favourite sibling (my sister is) 
",0.5281055900621112,2.911016267080747,1.6215496894409966,97.7748090062112,88.19254658385094,3.965341614906833,16.124534161490686,5.341637118332708,-0.8834499378881988,613,13,136,3,20,192,104,161,0.165,0.687,0.14800000000000002,-0.0289,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,2,2,0,6,14,1,0,6,0,12,6,3,3,2,27,35,6,0,3,7,3,2,1,3,2,1,1,1,1,4,6,0,1,4,0,0,6,12,4,0,1,4,3,11,10,20,29,2,20,0,1,0,2,25,9,0,4,6,77,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628568974415444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862033570065044,0.0,0.0,0.10588571236682252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925434463250633,0.09837561305074463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31916881307711875,0.0,0.07194454526892614,0.0,0.15652047123879087,0.11549940334510744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132381315409176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229994585188724,0.0,0.13812812618672882,0.13677093162032028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664976069826162,0.12239745312110645,0.0,0.0,0.07567840014961813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727511471197771,0.0,0.24318993379833564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428304421295995,0.0,0.18383669441313655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608195701156834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635733309239346,0.0,0.20421122665899807,0.21241129963049976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331164997132163,0.0,0.14652653836091914,0.0,0.1529037594797603,0.0,0.0,0.09546646748240947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667597198208797,0.0,0.13619256656290202,0.1541481157334711,0.0974674492985742,0.0,0.10997042229305036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068108798022036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3947456093489613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ashekoa,2019/01/01,"Autistic and horrible at communicating my problems to therapists, according to them I don't have anxiety How can I make use of a therapist when it seems like I need to dissect and understand myself on my own to begin with? I can't, I've read autistic people can have problems identifying/understanding their own emotions so I assume it's related to that. But something I also barely understand is how I physically have problems conveying complex thoughts into spoken word. I could never spontaneously say everything I've typed so far. It's like every conversation is a class speech and I would need a lot of preparation and notes to come up with much. I literally have trouble with basic conversation, so it drives everyone away. Some therapists and a lot of acquaintances think I'm normal (just weird and quiet) because I can say short things easily or things I know readily. Anything complex or requiring my memory takes much longer and seems impossible, especially with the person staring at me waiting.  Even though therapists/job coaches know I'm autistic they act like I'm capable of everything everyone else is - just that I'm bad at socializing. Yes I'm bad at socializing but it's due to a lot of factors I barely understand. A job coach suggested teacher as a job, which is insanely far off from what I would be good at that it's depressing and makes me feel like more of a failure.  

For a long time I've also had bad anxiety/depression. Now it's mostly anxiety doing a lot of things, with sensory problems on top of that. A therapist I started seeing a while ago had me take one of those short questionnaires about anxiety. He told me I don't have anxiety according to that. Because I haven't had trouble sleeping for the past several weeks and don't worry about things most days. Except when I thought about it more my anxiety is very situational, and since I have no job and stay in the comfort of my house all the time I hadn't had much anxiety. It's hard for me to think of everything off the top of my head there too. But I think I must have anxiety even though he made me question it. When I tried to say something in a group conversation recently (very rare for me) I found myself shaking after. If I have minor events going on I lay in bed stressing about them -  I stress about every minor thing, let alone big things. If I'm thinking of applying to a job I completely obsess over it, like hours of research so I know what it would be like because not knowing causes me huge amounts of anxiety. For entry level things like working at a store. I get a lot of anxiety if I don't know exact details about new things.  

Probably typed too much already, I guess just venting. But it seems like there's no hope since I can't communicate any of my problems in person. I had self harmed for almost 10 years with no help or therapy, and now that I have the courage/self awareness to get help it feels like I'm in an alternate universe where none of that happened because no one's taking me seriously. It seems like I need to show them my extensive scarring which would probably explain more than I could. ",5.920320943039067,6.867726996644298,6.723691275167787,74.07606694200656,66.78523489932886,10.542350714162797,34.24178282567544,10.560738912317856,3.8130616589227326,2494,113,450,66,39,826,255,596,0.12,0.753,0.128,-0.0703,5,1,2,1,0,0,49.0,0,0,5,4,31,31,0,4,23,1,41,2,2,7,4,101,92,37,0,20,15,0,3,10,0,5,0,5,1,3,35,20,0,2,26,4,1,5,15,18,0,2,11,10,61,13,74,71,20,59,0,1,2,0,25,30,0,23,33,309,96,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04496287302730618,0.0,0.05079175077515189,0.052533723707597235,0.05597408431053418,0.08112631868309941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034493374745992136,0.0,0.3492265587125232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174070152986019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04765592181636842,0.0,0.12705474187983384,0.12368106345959674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052106486314633736,0.0,0.04369336732666738,0.05318209333171695,0.0,0.0,0.0809963654157859,0.0,0.0,0.03271213440968088,0.0,0.08737527944730931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04237255219172726,0.05705654022910756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700411726594235,0.0,0.08547261888252082,0.09693598738991974,0.1367596669696411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051294138841282436,0.07247303296335725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055615143968792136,0.0,0.0,0.05300134087214378,0.0,0.028827045951108413,0.042544040165525085,0.0,0.0,0.05587709557781175,0.0,0.044854175377277344,0.0,0.04543783890183933,0.0,0.052056424613794616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679971063030573,0.0,0.0,0.05037937720721286,0.049951930939525234,0.05852752396090735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25167372035617097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938015272718804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518676971416092,0.0,0.24780692363359536,0.0,0.0,0.04488825282826822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21561437476395012,0.0,0.047995322602686775,0.06771598367171261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914894507679835,0.11283137026178737,0.039120699334219404,0.04898858291384378,0.0,0.0,0.04969776383121728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874242583625413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04842083644194736,0.035164936868952834,0.08857872238177869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093759313569244,0.2426752710439339,0.0,0.0,0.05682136089364534,0.0,0.0507367195688562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050082836523953435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101088020912235,0.0,0.0,0.04041965845753608,0.18470523197131936,0.10583028837636428,0.05730254459737481,0.0,0.08391716827478192,0.057014769574246074,0.050759624745606566,0.10341140775380284,0.0,0.07809807654324831,0.0,0.0,0.035901995661395535,0.05406396184916646,0.0,0.0,0.11620603468595105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441213501075813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058006163284358765,0.23557321834856684,0.269584822675123,0.1300049837681826,0.09967016658142623,0.08053678158532676,0.059153970484468126,0.0,0.0,0.04846799369495987,0.0,0.034437582842514906,0.0,0.0,0.2112176990817235,0.0,0.043808380347867326,0.0,0.08370356307394335,0.0,0.0,0.04068692558649347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03692694316228762,0.051511661753914056,0.0,0.14412863624059188,0.0,0.0,0.03266394460634879
mentalhealth,ironiklastname,2019/01/01,"Feeling like I'm slowly losing my mental capacities I've been clinically diagnosed with depression 7 years but been struggling with depression since I was 11 or 12.  As of two years ago I have been feeling like I'm losing my capacity to integrate information into my long-term memory.  Often my days feel like a fog that blend together.  I am continuing to do well in my university studies but feel as if I have nothing important to contribute to class discussions, as I often cannot recall the name of an author, study, concept to even attempt contribution.  As well, social interactions and social anxiety have dominated a lot of my mind which does not help (i.e., thinking others don't like me, not having close friends yet, awkward in social conversations and feeling as if it is obvious).  Other background information that can help provide an answer: I am 26, F, recently moved to an entirely new province (Canadian ehhh!), began smoking marijuana daily (once or twice a day usually) via a small one-hitter as of a year ago to help with my depression and to relax after a long day.  I was concerned it was the marijuana use but I feel that the amount I take is quite low and should not have such a large impact, but I could be wrong.  
Is this just the process of getting older (I am 26, F, if that helps), or could it have something to do with my depression or marijuana use?  Any advice or suggestions are welcome!",11.831520912547536,8.180944566539925,11.851030418250954,56.939739543726255,57.70722433460075,15.386920152091255,45.691634980988596,13.348371206891418,6.041903726235741,1123,51,189,32,10,383,147,263,0.17800000000000002,0.721,0.101,-0.9768,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,4,8,19,0,2,14,0,28,2,0,2,1,47,42,22,0,6,16,0,6,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,11,10,0,0,10,1,0,1,5,10,2,2,7,6,20,9,28,31,2,24,0,7,0,0,16,6,0,11,21,131,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036077508077426,0.18208109977522208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984197389805231,0.0,0.07856797743437413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640009445542501,0.0,0.0,0.19870598812799325,0.0,0.3538338612230492,0.10424199813837036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987661766823274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783476310467025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115801743775891,0.2201144298207995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793485511843635,0.0,0.05365839517028051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753602486583613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20070317641720686,0.0,0.0,0.18177891873136331,0.0,0.22979812897079466,0.0,0.08731493305715707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350107864477147,0.0,0.10370136449558356,0.0,0.0,0.10915767951252826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919178260656554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854687983401693,0.0,0.0,0.10937598844635604,0.06959462137728797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923792695727352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140742061351377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495748414594864,0.0,0.0,0.3140801774668832,0.0,0.07906625349923778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736810827534678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722033004777991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580832369851784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003264995888352,0.0,0.0,0.17740588036415356,0.11311351209021785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846857519002237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229027041666284,0.0,0.19841326487218625
mentalhealth,alpacalicious,2019/01/01,"What's this feeling? I'm feeling light headed, like I'm on the clouds, relaxed, but reality feels different I can't explain. I took latuda at lunch. Then I received bad news and since then I've been feeling light headed!! Why?",1.3978030303030309,4.084869840909093,2.824545454545458,87.87348484848488,89.22727272727272,4.751515151515153,25.51515151515152,6.42735559955562,1.1363606060606064,179,8,33,2,6,58,33,44,0.108,0.685,0.207,-0.3806,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,8,10,4,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,5,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,6,3,2,2,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310079738732032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28906136438065283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5595708547345212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5678866762087147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351670338943118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288643626697757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073906569762028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496517286088739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nerdmind1,2019/01/01,"The Mood Tools apps provide a fairly complete introduction to CBT for free This week's Nerd-Mind article reviews the Mood Tools apps - Mood Tools, Fear Tools, and Panic Shield. They are a straighforward, no frills applications of basic CBT principals, but you really can't beat the price. 

[https://nerd-mind.com/mental-health-app-review-mood-tools-suite/](https://nerd-mind.com/mental-health-app-review-mood-tools-suite/)",20.594117647058823,24.309471941176486,13.483137254901962,28.674117647058864,35.470588235294116,12.290196078431373,34.64705882352941,11.855464076750405,4.475635294117646,363,9,38,7,3,97,41,51,0.117,0.84,0.043,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,1,1,0,6,0,2,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,16,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207766543728881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369476622326795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476481030946526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4244062522041165,0.0,0.6378412867330098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24705630458933625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489532149880135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16890503447609753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UndertheKnife23,2019/01/01,"I disagree with this whole “Ridiculing something is part of criticizing it.” NO!! You can critcize without being rude I’ve seen people defend fat shaming by saying that ridiculing people for their weight encourages them to get fit, and that fat people shouldn’t be sensitive about it. 

I’ve seen people defend hate speech on religion saying that religious ideas should be criticized. While I agree that if you want to talk about your religion, you should be ready to debate with non-religious people, I DON’T agree that gives them a right to openly bash and ridicule you. 

And the list goes on. Don’t even get me started on things like LGBTQ rights, mental health, and politics. ",7.346962809917352,8.72663860330579,6.2046177685950425,77.51783574380165,63.79338842975207,9.686363636363636,30.001033057851238,9.827888789773867,2.8831561983471077,545,18,91,11,8,163,79,121,0.16899999999999998,0.693,0.138,-0.7381,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,5,3,0,3,8,5,1,2,0,11,4,2,0,0,14,19,6,0,5,2,0,1,1,0,3,3,3,0,0,9,7,3,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,2,6,12,2,15,10,2,9,0,0,2,0,13,7,0,1,3,59,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693416139524347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849936272754331,0.16983422333272336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747917091952542,0.0,0.18818670750393424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19985816782355534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864934752830732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841606988668396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917185613641516,0.0,0.6136910045343983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023847413878677,0.0,0.2815808216837539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629510334297273,0.0,0.0,0.12531079958618754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422991545760445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761842574271235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442359257066583,0.0,0.0,0.2155887049181145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19766037761931787,0.0,0.17066157203232962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,travelbuggies,2019/01/01,"Why 2018 was not my year. In many ways I had a great year. I celebrated my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend back in March. I went on my first ever REAL holiday (a week in Alicante). I made new friends. I settled into my first job. Went to Brighton pride to see BRITNEY BITCH. I started to learn to drive. Found out I am going to be an aunty! I was lucky enough to spend my birthday in AMSTERDAM with my amazing boyfriend. 

I know who ever is reading this is like wtf your  year sounds great, don't be so ungrateful. 

I'm not belittling all the good things that 2018 gave to me, I am so unbelievably grateful for them all. But all in all in 2018 I've never felt as ALONE in all my life. Yes, I'm surrounded by some amazing people like my mum, who has honestly been my rock in a number of subliminal ways even with out herself knowing. I've an amazing boyfriend who would go to the ends of the earth for me and I don't appreciate him enough. 

If I had to explain 2018 I say its that feeling when you're trying to speak to someone and everything just cancels out the sound of your voice. Everyone is speaking over you but no one was really listening in the first place anyways so what does that matter. 2018 felt like I was suffocating, right in front of people and they walked on. I felt alone. I felt alone when I was surrounded by people who I thought where my friends. People who were my friends for years. But as soon as someone more interesting pops up I am nothing to them, I'm just someone to talk about but not to. 2018 taught me to not rule anything out. My best friend thought it was funny and a joke to spread rumours about me that I was cheating on my boyfriend and when confronted just said **no one knows who you are anyways not like anyone cares**. I know it sounds stupid just a petty fight but those words stuck with me, I know I should let go and that she doesn't matter. 

September 2018, was when I was suppose to begin uni, however my grades didn't POP and I am back at college repeating. I find it hard to stay motivated and even harder to stay concentrated. Majority of my ""friends"" are away to uni and spread out all over the Uk so that makes it harder to maintain healthy steady friendships. **I miss my friends**. Even the shitty ones. Ive found it hard to make new friends, FACT. I feel like I'm on the outside and just looking in on everyone else. Kinda get the feeling that they just hang around with me out of pity and that they just don't like me. 

My nana has always been a constant in my life. I used to stay over at her house with my older sister and go there after school some days. I hate myself for ever complaining about going to her house because there wasn't wifi.Although any time I did spend there I loved it. My nana is so kind to everyone. She has a pure soul. It breaks my heart that 2018 was the year that my nana would not recognise who I am anymore. My nana is still herself in a number of ways but she doesn't remember her family anymore and it hurts so bad. I went to her house after work by myself one day and she said she thinks she might recognise my face from walking in the street but had no idea who I am. It broke my heart.

I rarely get invited out. ( I know I've turned this into a pity feast of me feeling sorry for myself but this is what goes on in my head but just in text) It's a common thing for many young people. You're sitting at home just chilling on you're phone seeing that all you're friends are out but you're invite is lost in the mail. BUT WHY. You haven't fallen out with these people, you're all still on good terms, you'll have a laugh with each other if you see one another. So why don't they want to spend time with you. Am I just not a thought, maybe they've just forgotten about me or they are just sick of me...

After a while these little things start to build up. And as reluctant as I am to say it, it's had a tole on my mental health. I feel unwanted. To the point where I even question if my own boyfriend even likes me or if he's just being there for me as he can see that he is all I've got. 

I spent my New Years eve in my bed watching youtube and Netflix. I asked my friend if she had anything sorted for NYE a few days prior and she goes ""no! please give me plans"" so I give her two options. She doesn't reply. I've already bought my ticket. But that's okay because my other friends is going and its fine I can just hang out with her. But I felt like a burden so I sold my ticket 2 hours before I was suppose to leave. I said to myself its okay because no one will care if I don't go out, and they didn't they were just like ""okay sweet"". So as I am chilling in my house just with my family on NYE I see a snapchat story (from my friend who ignored my offer) and it kind of hurt me. Again like I wasn't even a thought, she just got a better offer and that was that. No sorry. No invitation for her new plans. But sure no one knows who I am anyways and its not like anyone cares. 

I am trying to make the best of my 2019, I've got a youtube channel that I know I get criticised for by people in my town but honestly I don't care because I love filming and editing the videos. I don't care if I don't get 100,000,000 views. It gives me something fun to do. I've applied to University to start in September 2019 and I am praying that I will get in( the universities are far away from my home so I am hoping I can start fresh!) 2019 I will make it my mission for you to be my year. I hope you bring me a lot of happiness because that is my biggest aspiration. Happy New Year and Thank you to anyone who took their time to read. I appreciate it so much.",1.1732478397429418,3.240807824081984,2.49870001013186,94.82338878113735,81.77540563620836,5.54079810100016,21.110748454891514,6.695933590792649,0.22517828597895528,4386,131,992,46,118,1411,389,1171,0.106,0.71,0.184,0.9986,2,4,1,0,1,0,118.0,0,11,10,12,62,77,6,0,39,4,88,10,4,7,16,174,184,73,0,14,49,2,12,11,11,8,4,12,3,0,62,51,0,1,32,11,6,19,33,17,0,11,55,33,175,60,150,116,23,153,2,7,8,2,93,68,1,20,69,668,237,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285407087209575,0.04363320444826665,0.0,0.032900320222745645,0.0,0.0,0.026888451878065017,0.04146097718230945,0.0,0.0,0.07842580721390767,0.0829415412290117,0.0,0.0650758502296287,0.0351988468153394,0.03696441951152793,0.0,0.07429797576493376,0.06080740347585775,0.03301412071229546,0.12051561885256246,0.0,0.0336454975983832,0.0,0.08298926014376963,0.034969781550555745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20156754633770968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042728527880886186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649979090599415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03460158661413372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0330304685739814,0.0,0.035020568444352376,0.0817104633550089,0.0,0.15669417643283973,0.10729816608676414,0.0,0.11334605491839085,0.03553586499100731,0.0,0.07454929769862165,0.0,0.09996267355812023,0.02824727463814009,0.1898222692550124,0.0,0.03613870388560728,0.10089772112389016,0.0,0.08670680287496542,0.3360322652896669,0.0,0.10328969070206354,0.11379067262167306,0.15729984395140892,0.06632829551258124,0.09487088317637618,0.08718564193709856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418180486583914,0.07083987309170645,0.03903741300922188,0.04057929032689885,0.042029008455260176,0.0,0.09370981827958337,0.0,0.0,0.07932338096100264,0.07854397951249611,0.038938784655737774,0.18249469913036076,0.08465644811472553,0.04463567452091912,0.0,0.0,0.03923719710584006,0.0,0.0,0.08234933230907482,0.17384052709068387,0.0,0.0,0.041866988930419236,0.0,0.04043217252264527,0.055856326617479135,0.21248889241091773,0.039629314241904606,0.0,0.0,0.03320351316314881,0.0,0.04316241384576565,0.03361536400976932,0.07137251141574491,0.03741355931908339,0.1055726197706556,0.08017439778333127,0.03972309088567537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03984686596243766,0.041945529297532674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029066337100196536,0.0,0.030495567604808826,0.19093915338140965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03793954964701125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18755256565698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918836599292527,0.0,0.04131072454737759,0.04340287847564342,0.03737793587712565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044293677823230994,0.0,0.07910109420282704,0.04500500232531805,0.025330238500527617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479093888334222,0.0337668133448444,0.11283434725596253,0.06288734678637271,0.0,0.0400164361536327,0.15754069431689385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050595229988347,0.030439706006826238,0.0,0.08852324321128494,0.11194602903041248,0.12643264805695162,0.06315314587125766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0372658379165966,0.0,0.0,0.0317806313218372,0.0,0.0364029788243344,0.0,0.0,0.0788055523517489,0.025335537445242053,0.0,0.12556088767875095,0.06916800837034262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04393022494026279,0.05368992137630317,0.043007999445391264,0.038624685210455284,0.0,0.0,0.03414973268095397,0.0,0.0,0.023321626236483275,0.09415467049698832,0.031716480302524115,0.0,0.0,0.1099615030645638,0.10703568581815083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028785479574989423,0.0,0.0,0.05617594579168545,0.0,0.0,0.22916128626059604
mentalhealth,2017hayden,2019/01/01,"Struggling with cyclothymia and increased sex drive I’m a 20 year old male and I was diagnosed with rapid cycling cyclothymic disorder about 2 years ago now. Unfortunately balancing my medication has been an issue, as most of the medications used to treat cyclothymia are bipolar meds at a lower dosage. Finding the right dosage has been a struggle, as any dosage I’ve tried so far that’s eliminated my symptoms has left me feeling like a zombie, and anything lower doesn’t fully eliminate my symptoms or only eliminates some symptoms. One of my more distracting manic symptoms is unfortunately hyper sexuality, and honestly it is easily the most difficult for me to cope with on a personal level. There are times when all I can think about is sex, and it happens often enough that it impedes my ability to function. As a college student I have to go out and be around people, I have to go to class even when I’m not really functional. But going to class when so much as looking at a woman sparks wild sexual fantasy’s is exhausting, and it makes me feel disgusted with myself. I’m friends with a lot of these women, and I hate myself for looking at them this way. It makes me feel like a disgusting perv but I literally can’t stop. Sometimes I take a double dose of my meds just to zombify myself for a while so I do t have to think about it, but that obviously doesn’t help the actual issue. Please anyone who has any suggestions I need help! ",7.072645985401461,7.364271474452554,7.712107664233577,70.27210310218979,64.18248175182482,11.083576642335766,35.00821167883211,10.820120047756994,3.9450153284671536,1160,49,202,29,16,386,158,274,0.101,0.804,0.095,0.238,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,0,15,13,3,3,16,0,22,12,0,3,2,39,42,23,0,1,6,0,3,2,1,0,10,0,0,4,12,15,0,1,6,1,0,5,4,8,0,1,3,5,23,5,34,38,10,27,0,0,2,2,10,10,0,6,13,142,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.1100458967241467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996256908856772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15337304420249476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885043442210812,0.0,0.09279895788576382,0.10038797162751324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445776583842016,0.0,0.0,0.12924259738120766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165201195366846,0.0,0.07448260365110103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105759327188655,0.16112383566454855,0.0,0.0,0.10306846696870868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871247486931543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226700020416607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972090979014668,0.0,0.0,0.11133565625432536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117284503848533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23540226219412475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252342520215327,0.0,0.0,0.1101860937992325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893944625426391,0.0,0.0,0.0958718399544452,0.0,0.0,0.15054784626580706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25052100867607724,0.2272050223223556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289790399777136,0.0836164957571546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833168693719395,0.0,0.07641492891033783,0.08576560978963854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817955558851931,0.09846520095021724,0.0,0.12378607048758462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722424594546931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630377716057828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115310392134223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427960777395393,0.0,0.23578047264944535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4688390583176055,0.08478796082594439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451514434912513,0.0,0.0,0.06575628361009797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656248416438026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973958724684348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951047402240847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523857572154406
mentalhealth,rossisangria,2019/01/01,"inferiority complex, always needing to overcompensate So I was terrible in High School, and all of my friends know that, I slacked and skipped for weeks and always late to class, procrastinate assignments, I was just a horrible student. It's post secondary school time, some of my friends went to a really good school, some went to decent ones, some even left home to live independently to study. Now that I've matured up, I have really started to value myself and others based on their success and education, since I was terrible in High School, I see myself as inferior and lesser to others, I also expect my friends to see me that way as well and I really hate that, because of this, I want to overcompensate and make irrational decisions and have mentally frustrating thoughts like I need to constantly be better and beat my friends, I need to study in a hard subject, I need to make 6 figures, I need to go to this school or that school with the highest ratings, I need to prove to others that I'm better, I hate being looked down upon. Things like these, it just makes me feel so shit. ",9.920833333333334,7.8832415735294115,9.446078431372547,67.71068627450981,59.735294117647065,12.792156862745099,39.82352941176471,11.429527900616536,4.425700000000001,867,35,157,19,9,280,110,204,0.15,0.691,0.159,-0.0328,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,4,8,19,4,0,4,0,7,1,1,4,2,37,30,16,0,8,3,0,2,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,15,11,0,0,7,0,0,3,0,8,1,1,6,5,24,11,31,22,4,21,0,2,3,0,5,10,1,4,8,105,39,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505261650831481,0.15618311238807867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721070286348054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600717820129504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141959754519184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061987705090907265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745388912095458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900362212582681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053337690159157375,0.07871777206433711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407206818757743,0.1853168790480037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19831748365808508,0.09414021231220064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05157805911231734,0.0,0.10586802392436497,0.0,0.10196939386995556,0.0,0.0,0.0917017229894447,0.0,0.08287215874128379,0.0,0.07881120902364191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879388281076451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457974121208633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175359957078765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359587132621193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988332203264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037007511296133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.569893378195662,0.14957420353118975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633671016156063,0.07763452294185016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664282259073895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235043892393793,0.0,0.0,0.07450721641578265,0.05472527699743693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535575561126646,0.07449456106877585,0.07528161692813476,0.0,0.08438332647833299,0.1740016477572305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ExistingAnimal,2019/01/01,"Weird Question About Disability For A Friend So I have a friend who lives in NJ she's too afraid to leave her house and doesn't have the resources to get where she needs to go anyways. She lives with her parents and is severely depressed and I think if she was able to get on disability and have a little bit of income that might change things. I've looked it up online but can't figure out how to apply or get diagnosed from home, is this possible? Any help or information would be appreciated, thank you and happy new year. 

TL;DR Get diagnosed with mental illness and put on disability from home, NJ",3.8235897435897432,5.893344564102566,4.605478632478633,82.88257692307694,73.44444444444444,7.756923076923077,24.52051282051282,8.548686976883017,1.6053425641025645,482,15,94,9,10,155,82,117,0.079,0.759,0.162,0.9259,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,1,4,0,11,3,0,1,0,21,20,12,0,3,4,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,2,0,5,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,1,9,4,17,16,1,11,0,1,1,0,14,7,0,5,2,61,14,0,0.15638287768458353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634571942289288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072959962134693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543234896069398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469234339965638,0.3174506580322753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241642046749217,0.0,0.3268143964997813,0.0,0.08887599323297928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664724812230337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482014650239124,0.0,0.3137295539962151,0.0,0.0,0.18044484448093884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558688756297915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673672669601546,0.27617789212524385,0.0,0.1313222312208724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575971590606861,0.1658975202421045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595592228287055,0.0,0.15103555775116165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364467900288755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629819763022486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720798531365174,0.1751846129096041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666813916716834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439763430697286,0.0,0.0,0.10389383513499977,0.10020383355643757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110899094631724,0.0,0.0,0.10070544601482632
mentalhealth,dicklecoq955,2019/01/01,"Idk wtf is up with me I don’t feel anything, sometimes i am scared af, and sometimes I don’t feel real and obsess over existence and other things and such and so bla bla bla. I’m sick of it, I have theories about what I might have and I don’t know what I should do to get through the day quicker. I don’t know what I’m expecting while writing this but aw lord have mercy with me. XD ",1.3353571428571414,2.6630589642857165,2.9971428571428578,94.94785714285715,78.40476190476191,6.2285714285714295,22.714285714285715,6.868970318607317,0.4092571428571432,299,9,72,3,7,99,51,84,0.113,0.7709999999999999,0.117,0.6541,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,1,12,1,0,0,0,18,19,9,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,2,10,0,8,17,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,48,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440028524408439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19122472341966773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29984920550068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491448253140902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32590879973346976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145507514576919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33749382920807897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29685870709132106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5865128730705608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969883809344706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itsmealvise,2019/01/01,"im tired of living i most probably wont live past 17, i completly give up",-1.1105882352941163,0.7790076470588225,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,90.1764705882353,8.105882352941178,20.264705882352946,8.841846274778883,1.6556117647058817,58,2,14,2,2,22,15,17,0.195,0.805,0.0,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366477340908392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080105315779095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468230047144626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5670415089798766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30650852288364505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461800499814494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690358308589845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HighOnNora,2019/01/01,"I made it i don't know if this really belongs here, but i wanted to space to share it without disrupting the communal peace.

i almost hung myself on december 11th & i suddenly stopped because i lost the driving force. i realized that i didn't actually want to end my life. and whether other people who are similarly suicidal encounter the same revelation or not isn't of primary relevance to this post. i just wanted to share.

but it finally hit me in that moment, how the foremost motivation of my suicidality was never to just make it all stop. it was more along the lines of what i deserved. like i needed to just get rid of myself.

making it all stop just wouldn't make sense. i actually enjoyed myself as a person.

for background, i am a transgender female, and over the last few months i've made unprecedented progress towards transitioning, my standards at least lol. and i came to actually appreciate and enjoy myself, my personality, body image, mannerisms, etc. yet my suicidal cravings wouldn't subside, and i couldn't make sense of them then. and so things deterioated. until i finally took the time to write out all my letters in anticipation of ending it all, for the first time. before it was more of a cursory scribble. like ""sorry so so sorry not your fault mom"" type stuff.

and i had my funeral songs picked out, and i actually poured a little heart into my preparations, and then i was finally just standing there, making sure i had my balance before i pushed the chair beneath me, & i just couldn't. i just didn't feel it anymore. instead, i felt more of this bit of peace that i could simply walk away with and it was unlike any of the other times, because for once it was clear to me *why* i didn't want to die. and that was because i've already begun transitioning, and idk, i just kinda liked myself too much to go.

so in the following days, i had what i believe was hypomania/mania. like a lot of high energy screaming at my dog and running up and down the stairs until my chest hurt and slamming doors because it felt funny and pouring sparkling champagne over my head and giggling to myself and all this batshit weird stuff that i've never thought of. and feeling like i had unlocked some sort of abilities, like i could manipulate people's behaviors with my mind if i thought REALLY hard about it. 

though it was very rapid cycling. twice a day, around 3-4ish and in the evening. back & forth between ""up"" and ""down, down"", for a few days. 

and then after that must've been the ""crash"", because i lost track of time and just got super muted and i thought that i was either separated from my original universe, or i was a ghost that died and had to remember how i did. and i've never entertained any of these things before, or become so out of touch with making sense.

its just all so fuckin unexpected. i've never experienced any mental illness outside the realm of depression, anxiety, etc. before this.

i'm looking to schedule a visit to my psychiatrist once my health coverage plan has been renewed. and i KNOW that i've been leaping to conclusions, but it's how i've been able to come to terms with everything & get by until further attention.

but over the past few days it's been a lot easier. a lot more of me crying the snot out of my eyes until my head hurts. which is better than a lot of things, apparently. 

right now is better than ever. and i've never wanted so badly to simply persist.

thank you, so much for reading.

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mentalhealth,malta44,2019/01/01,Does anyone else almost kys on holidays? Or when they see nevermind,3.1575000000000024,6.217299750000006,4.449999999999998,73.84500000000001,93.16666666666666,9.066666666666668,22.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,3.334866666666666,55,2,8,2,2,18,12,12,0.0,0.825,0.175,0.3262,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648611924432081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246017403311263,0.4756604447539952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062524664988013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3878061858096976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.369932722183492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,piyushdc10,2019/01/01,"How to IMPROVE your Mental Health in 2019? Second Tip will shock you.  

For me Mental Health is all about ‘**the way of expression’** if you can express properly then *Son, you’re on the right track*. Being expressive does not always mean to be an extrovert but what I mean by ‘expressive’ is speaking what you feel.    

So, in 2019 if you want to stabilise and then improve your Mental Health then you need to keep a proper check on your emotions. Now, I’ll be mentioning 6 emotions to take care of in 2019 to improve your Mental Health and also how to improve your mental health.

1. Hypocrisy 
2. Jealousy
3. Power of Acceptance 
4. Compassion
5. Understanding EGO! 
6. Sense of Belonging. 

​

Take a read guys, as its important for all of us to understand these emotions to improve our Mental Health. 

Follow this: [http://thesoultalks10.com/how-to-improve-your-mental-health-in-2019/](http://thesoultalks10.com/how-to-improve-your-mental-health-in-2019/)

​",6.106953642384106,9.907016437086096,3.879507284768213,78.00638675496694,86.61589403973511,5.8597086092715225,24.583046357615892,7.24861992348623,1.8020403178807944,786,28,111,13,25,219,91,151,0.028,0.775,0.198,0.9837,1,0,0,0,0,0,64.0,2,10,0,1,6,3,0,0,4,0,7,6,0,2,2,19,19,13,0,4,4,1,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,1,5,2,0,1,6,1,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,14,2,24,15,2,12,0,0,0,0,20,6,0,2,4,71,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585714430027038,0.06094304696365765,0.15871492483081315,0.17799361351971058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467489896536407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409439494100579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24716150922722785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03703325601708627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252089954096175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6228208889843151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510067932509099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956358899889805,0.0,0.0,0.5904840821639278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430786851486541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326162277817025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254809915391697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013744085980673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249459883978025,0.08810087038971669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04319991274784799,0.05813593370416145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799361351971058,0.0
mentalhealth,WannaSeeTheWorldBurn,2019/01/01,"I need help seeing another perspective. I know this woman. I dont like her at all. Shes two faced. Doesnt parent her kids. Ignores one kid and over spoils another. Shes also mooching off one of my best friends. Id like her a lot more if she would be a better parent and actually pitch in to the bills she uses. 

My issue is that I have bipolar disorder and borderline with severe anxiety. Fun stuff. Ive worked my butt off to get to the point I am now. And in pretty high functioning most of the time. She claims to have ptsd and says she manic. 

I have a bachelors in psychology and own the dsm5. No where (yes I may have missed it) have i seen mania as an only symptom. She claims shes never been depressed. I know thats a lie because shes been sent to hospitals for threatening suicide in arguments with her boyfriend. 

My issue though is I spend a lot of time around her. I see that shes high a lot. Not just weed but pills and possibly meth and/or heroin. I can smell the drugs sometimes and others she cant even stay awake and is sluring her words. Plus she looks like she's 60 and shes only 40. And weighs ten pounds soaking wet. 

When she doesn't get her way around the house. Or is asked to pitch in with money or cleaning she freaks the fuck out. Like screaming and breaking shit. Threats and the whole 9 yards. Even upsetting my friends neighbors. 

I realized already that I cant help her because she refuses to be helped at this time. But how can I see it from another perspective so I can at least be more empathetic. To her? ",0.9619854469854444,3.380642294871798,2.4108281358281367,92.79723492723495,85.98717948717949,5.937075537075537,21.252945252945253,7.329194593529364,0.7340693693693696,1204,40,258,20,37,389,169,312,0.158,0.7509999999999999,0.091,-0.9551,2,0,2,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,0,3,12,19,3,1,15,1,32,9,3,2,2,44,47,25,1,3,7,2,1,4,3,2,4,2,3,3,10,20,1,2,3,1,3,1,8,10,0,4,4,9,48,9,32,38,11,28,0,2,5,2,41,18,3,8,10,176,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.09970137597913907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274509354510008,0.08170383224272128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213966388670615,0.07815835472088843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18190262792091305,0.09551342809599896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456151128930025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721916962621396,0.09035942562604402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799727745579386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170935507602334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974031030519088,0.0,0.11848261717915855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349621983478131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786971772911484,0.09445280789701463,0.10675728255765296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20544347099283028,0.21589251873455603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788832716453618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21327400791861092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229788607439342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996567885322968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579551387392746,0.0,0.0,0.2605791214116013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575638828624212,0.07879837536093869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384635644672257,0.15540696313560232,0.0,0.0,0.2268912784685924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658192494172163,0.1151792375145717,0.0,0.1039417381541429,0.0,0.0,0.11942909938370093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124821321156031,0.0,0.0,0.2442443621894997,0.0,0.0,0.11542092792730915,0.10487413726587136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010469122882032,0.0,0.0,0.10889765346202987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695808766175833,0.11175537299119602,0.0,0.0,0.1061918268161387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037968814760737,0.0,0.17872520876362866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980343644863376,0.0,0.0,0.08824047773569535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810963215370928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406709028165628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437962965270309,0.0,0.0,0.07257732205730368,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ynot0404,2019/01/01,"I’m afraid I’m going to kill myself in 2019 and nobody is listening Okay I guess I’ll just start by saying on my birthday in 2018 I brought a knife to bed with me and held it to my throat and heart and sliced my arms and I guess yeah I was trying to kill myself. After that I started working harder with my therapist and my extremely mentally unstable sister was brought across the country to a facility to help her mental health. It simultaneously of course helped me too because trying to overcome depression and anxiety brought on by rape is a very difficult task when your older sibling is also suicidal (I’m 16 she’s 18).

Anyway those were the best months of my life when she left. I’ve never felt so free and able to garner the attention towards my mental health from my parents which I always felt I lacked. Well she came home last week. I was already going downhill a bit because of some other things that happened and honestly probably also a seasonal thing but seeing her again didn’t help that at all. Of course my parents were all “oh she’s so much better” and “we’re so happy she’s home” and yeah okay I’m happy my sister is home too but she’s barely any better. Just yesterday we were sitting in a restaurant around a bunch of people and I made a stupid sarcastic remark when she asked me about a football game (it was stupid but it was something that I do all the time). Well she lashed out at me and even slapped me. She literally hit me in public. My parents passed it off said it’s no big deal. They don’t see what I see. That hit wasn’t just it. She’s not able to live normally or with this family it just can’t happen. And of course I feel bad and everything but they just can’t see that this isn’t best for ANYBODY.

Now about suicide (yay), I have a very bad habit just like many of my fellow anxiety and depressioners. When I feel hopeless I tend to go to websites like lostallhope.com that talk all about suicide and different methods and honestly it’s starting to grow on me. I’ve described these feelings and what I’ve done to my therapist but she is telling me it’s something that will pass but I feel in my heart that it’s a really much bigger problem. Last night my body just couldn’t handle the frustration any more and I had a full out cry for help and I woke up my mom and told her pretty much everything I just said: my sister is making me feel like this and blah blah and this family can’t handle it and we’re falling apart and I feel like I can’t take another day of it. And I think you can guess what she said. “It’s okay, I know things seem bad to you, but to me it’s only getting better. Go back to sleep now you must be tired.” Of course it’s paraphrased but that’s what happened. 

I don’t know what to do guys. This is my first time posting here. I’m suicidal and all I thought about when we were counting down to 2019 was “is this the year I’m actually going to do it. Am I going to live until 2020?” And those are scary to me. I don’t like thinking about it but it just keeps happening.

I’m sorry nobody I expect will read this all and I don’t blame you. I think I really needed to vent and maybe also find some supportive words or helpful people but I understand. Have a nice year everybody.",1.6828743162017972,3.886120957767728,3.148288422142681,90.11593165394748,80.74962292609351,6.311150131694468,21.81105783300692,7.487627976209742,0.8195916751086192,2557,79,536,39,67,836,272,663,0.142,0.723,0.135,-0.7081,4,0,3,0,2,5,44.0,2,5,2,7,37,37,6,1,19,6,44,11,6,2,8,104,109,55,6,7,22,7,8,7,1,3,4,5,4,1,49,40,0,2,18,2,1,14,15,14,2,1,28,17,87,24,64,74,18,68,0,2,4,1,50,23,0,8,34,358,136,2,0.11807138570419165,0.0,0.057610320222570725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651473550777869,0.14163246673443805,0.0491224257036948,0.0,0.0,0.08029259111918723,0.06190407137230638,0.09032428688811232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05255428293208109,0.05519040358397167,0.0,0.0,0.04539480374741681,0.14787701282688664,0.07197522082629446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390863487093175,0.15663681852895853,0.0644516864840936,0.06557534611439705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752110533477132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484793649545306,0.03807313798858702,0.06086320708193661,0.050847355747662006,0.0,0.0,0.0616797339237267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060414010542459214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03899251834992958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611494818402764,0.0,0.11130719435768327,0.0,0.17910132078070096,0.08435022153885291,0.1133670463418721,0.0,0.053957553745062656,0.05021573018159505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030843712906854507,0.0,0.20130806835553036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510341425834024,0.058454617501983226,0.20882027288295454,0.12568918561060796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550436173664592,0.0,0.1399151605510245,0.19785190249881468,0.0,0.17765284022048108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247363633317936,0.13062849455051728,0.0,0.06488894574952721,0.09624393812684216,0.0,0.0,0.06414245301990812,0.0,0.041698655754291165,0.1442092875975249,0.0,0.10425919674486502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05586099999998959,0.039406783398441815,0.05985292653363562,0.059309288406368635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17848227915529807,0.0,0.0,0.06914188996063167,0.04712172680117963,0.0,0.13019408094051035,0.043774218211281114,0.04553196576255721,0.0,0.0,0.05540099855418156,0.05784244453061976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04489930466422337,0.0,0.0,0.19665645152709374,0.0,0.0,0.08185583227338257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653987477953022,0.06006052334527146,0.06365046185965198,0.056489185114983666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905166874900199,0.0,0.07563955307272675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846938881992926,0.046947552475194124,0.0,0.0,0.18817521530480186,0.05374387754698806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907832772344089,0.0,0.0,0.0908971211610808,0.0,0.06608562482455914,0.12535730176727095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25830186439804953,0.06699300464394654,0.0,0.0,0.0443874939421492,0.04745065368221455,0.051599797656224564,0.0,0.0,0.13708997915382465,0.11766207332417135,0.11348306466847075,0.0,0.046867745773681434,0.06884837450904595,0.06785284443223541,0.0,0.056411134439214784,0.0,0.08016272048383634,0.0,0.0,0.061458238264562974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742125864179374,0.0,0.0,0.047354871827852994,0.0,0.10616035555144764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042978687508034165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760341012710587
mentalhealth,enigmatic_x,2019/01/01,"Too much, to bright, too powerful Listening to Radiohead’s Last Flowers. Thought some may be able to relate. When *everything* is just so overwhelming.

[https://youtu.be/y6PrVmoIC1A](https://youtu.be/y6PrVmoIC1A)

Appliances have gone berserk
I cannot keep up
Treading on people's toes
Snot-nosed little punk

And I can't face the evening straight
You can offer me escape
Houses move and houses speak
If you take me then you'll get relief

And if I'm gonna talk
I just want to talk
Please don't interrupt
Just sit back and listen

It's too much, too bright, too powerful
Too much, too bright, too powerful
Too much, too bright, too powerful...

*sigh*",3.1943805309734508,6.176332929203542,2.277216814159292,88.79936504424779,95.81415929203541,6.153805309734514,20.69424778761062,7.365786028017652,1.271184424778761,523,17,91,11,20,150,74,113,0.0,0.7290000000000001,0.271,0.9805,5,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,0,4,18,7,0,1,1,0,9,2,2,0,0,14,19,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,2,7,8,5,6,13,5,11,0,1,4,0,9,4,0,4,4,54,9,0,0.194323311594682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942263175413126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834871460148745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464526242183573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152590990931043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44844602246605336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727234879621886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583994349365689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476300878355607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20653492712425428,0.5713999725955701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347193166729968,0.0,0.0,0.2133086419356897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610694648468248,0.3123794340471766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15427100328163776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461692392193927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,analcrong,2019/01/01,"Reality is gaslighting me Nothing is ever the same on the second look. I want to be done with this plane and slip away in the dream. It overlaps with the real world most closely at this time of night and I haven't figured out how to cross over yet. Today a customer at work gave me his phone number and he told me he could provide me with emotional support and good drugs. He is older than me and I am 18. I am sensing a conflict of interest but he seemed so sad.

Monsters are real and they are what I see in the first moment of the dark. There is a phantom that paces the upstairs hallway. I wish I didn't know where I am, I miss that feeling.",1.833407960199004,3.6209698283582092,3.2067910447761214,91.96053482587065,78.32835820895522,5.362189054726368,24.59950248756219,5.985473137389443,0.5319920398009956,503,18,108,3,12,164,89,134,0.068,0.8109999999999999,0.122,0.2876,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,6,5,0,0,10,0,14,1,0,1,1,26,25,9,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,11,0,1,4,1,0,1,2,2,0,2,4,3,16,3,17,19,2,21,0,2,2,0,9,12,0,2,8,80,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19688183849280208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731093142780748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444536198274708,0.0,0.0,0.2430148241042941,0.0,0.0,0.2357187965355205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895525864024817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595623769371787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17824558143598065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576302221108714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516478822537853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759716506049422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19665119204108225,0.0,0.2010716499121078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4770341322468922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698652266207,0.19076908106970286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377981365942632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221919755115392,0.0,0.19863163762466596,0.20023676687004466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359972402499515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409754820903813,0.0,0.0,0.15255699989866267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yoyoyo_lol,2019/01/01,"hello, hope everyone having a good year. I have a concern and want to hear other's thoughts. hello, soooooo my concern is about myself. Just a little background information about me in the past I have gone to therapy and am diagnosed with depression. I have stopped my sessions because I feel like I dont need the guidance anymore and I can apply the things I have learned. Part of my depression is just feeling really bad bout myself. I bring this up because often I have a awesome day with family, friends and my boyfriend but then later feel really sad. I realize I had a good day and tell myself over and over ""why are you feeling like this your day was good and was spent with great people"". I am acknowledging my day was good but I feel like something inside me is not realizing that and makes me feel sad. I'm always willing to go back to therapy if needed and was thinking about it, definitely do not mind going back but I wanted to hear others opinions and advice and input as to what might be, input as to what I can do in the meantime. 





if taken the time to read and respond thank you very much.",4.84986111111111,5.9633646342592606,5.704703703703707,79.8106666666667,69.32407407407408,8.352592592592591,30.14074074074074,8.648137234880735,2.3607818518518524,875,34,163,14,15,287,117,216,0.076,0.732,0.192,0.9755,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,0,0,8,16,0,0,10,0,25,1,0,1,0,48,49,20,0,7,9,0,6,3,1,2,1,2,0,0,9,15,0,1,13,1,1,4,3,5,0,0,9,8,29,11,22,37,2,22,0,4,0,0,11,6,0,6,15,122,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077944203104357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917874081424404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939865519403978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964436586431558,0.09210489599393848,0.13448885871343394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845653166153833,0.0,0.19002103125471145,0.1119631225673916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928341594648635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540668027639416,0.0,0.0,0.10399118866121224,0.0,0.3346586776579285,0.2364181359241065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522583719094783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538432001147112,0.3700938039743869,0.0,0.12161802752163747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486565388272945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956349749539478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616768294605897,0.1105603840965644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363330412857569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702230833369134,0.11138244460752517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109111791492618,0.1635880954784728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945582811750563,0.10530412415405316,0.0764756074042063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034063451286673,0.0,0.14133582432343006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492262993394313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222475385114952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641648635407238,0.10155934812572928,0.25229998773440176,0.0,0.07328558251741721,0.07068269549506664,0.0,0.0875744397476174,0.06432310457472043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101794852968738,0.13012831555564072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995383237759941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103652747328985
mentalhealth,Jcyte17,2019/01/01,I'm manic right now And I know I wont be getting any sleep tonight either ,-0.8335294117647081,1.1248812352941189,1.6073529411764724,98.67808823529413,89.58823529411768,3.4000000000000004,20.264705882352946,3.1291,-0.6208588235294119,59,2,14,0,2,20,15,17,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087263627796777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140174806994535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303146954299033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5132830578601438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6014719334107403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HoodedHamster,2019/01/01,"I really need a therapist/help but I don’t know how to ask my mom to get me one Before I start I just want to mention that I am a 15 year old male if that matters in this context, and I live in Canada. Around September I started having really bad depersonalization moments and really bad anxiety. I’ve always had anxiety all my life, but I am really good at hiding it and not letting it control me. But since September it has gotten out of control, especially the depersonalization. It is affecting my school and social life bad and I want help but I don’t know how to ask my mom. I feel weak and nervous whenever I think about telling my mom about my problems, which I have never done before. My mother is amazing and caring and would definitely get me the help I need, but I feel like it would change everything; the way she sees me, the way she interacts with me and that is what is stopping me. I have tried reaching out to kids help phone but they did not help at all. Please leave me suggestions on how to talk to my mom about getting me help for this, I would really appreciate it.",4.942949308755762,5.5387823502304165,6.2789631336405565,77.65273041474656,68.81566820276498,9.886635944700464,29.32488479262673,9.957137785484203,2.7012082949308747,858,30,172,20,14,291,109,217,0.145,0.654,0.202,0.9271,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,2,8,10,0,1,6,0,19,3,0,6,3,47,38,19,0,9,10,5,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,13,13,0,3,5,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,4,3,36,4,21,30,2,17,0,0,1,0,24,8,0,1,8,121,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931454183889257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584030264850034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848557214493587,0.17822416183478645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23876666009159156,0.0,0.0,0.1622219606915803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718590870317677,0.0,0.10083676762929536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138207656550428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975462733808922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566818898807887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639412140155068,0.06809719877961967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940355180588105,0.0,0.0,0.07995056482608337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833491389852045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477163798011296,0.0,0.0,0.10093096427962577,0.0,0.09747197648756037,0.1346558004443393,0.046568928186502274,0.0,0.0841700130220559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4465542770368643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413583312325036,0.07351727753154781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002314522931637,0.0,0.06459184120432057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463361442922464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120913253089456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053247275007165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646973883726542,0.07595833661270479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885035102532433,0.0,0.0,0.09716755187341894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493710613023258,0.0,0.0,0.07969245723288257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766152485926144,0.08331458089569026,0.0,0.0,0.1106747959972088,0.0,0.06107771994639213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471656638137538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244535538628264,0.15132242891864284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20313948493517872,0.0,0.0,0.0613834701773734
mentalhealth,pastelfuckingbarbie,2019/01/01,"7 months ago. After an attempt to drown myself in the bathtub 7 months ago, I was sent to a clinic, where I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I just don’t get it though, I mean I can see how the therapist came to his diagnosis, because even I can clearly tell the drastic changes in my mood and behavior. But couldn’t it be possible that I’ve gone through, and still am in some ways, the worst pain I have ever had to experience. And trust me when I say I’ve spent almost my entire life living as a human punching bag for scumbags dressed like little red riding hood or Prince Charming, and my hearts just to naive to see a the villain underneath their disguise. I’m just so beyond lost and I’m not sure I’m going to survive this. ",7.599536679536682,5.842456945945947,7.804362934362935,76.7668918918919,64.0,10.619305019305019,36.683397683397686,9.23628265651192,3.158666795366796,580,23,116,8,7,190,103,148,0.17,0.75,0.08,-0.9143,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,3,12,9,1,0,9,0,10,6,1,1,3,21,23,12,1,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,7,0,0,1,0,1,5,3,4,0,0,8,4,15,4,17,13,2,21,0,1,3,0,6,7,0,3,9,76,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31459892992400723,0.0,0.1776913858810301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817238645043367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20295649019155232,0.0,0.0,0.18771946205221168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18010886966278303,0.0,0.0,0.203374038940028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720460778588658,0.16051444614770613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735809739541564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271074110849008,0.0,0.10084940305728757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028010256372412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533877778861707,0.08669351817836896,0.17785236203223598,0.1566923448351157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19370855641415635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932959888037418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832791387497511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882020746289696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000491622577604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411160321829378,0.0,0.0,0.2828106934117003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171247191419625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724531885966418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509985766640874,0.0,0.0,0.20603410497758226,0.0,0.0,0.174344551630528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408522189915429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smexyrabbi,2019/01/01,"How do i deal with video game addiction Here's a little of my theory of why this happened. When I was in grade 10 around 15 years old , I met this group of students through one of the smart kids in my class. Later did I find out that these kids were assholes . They would make fun of me and harass the crap.out of me . I was the third highest mark in the class apart from this student in second . Anyways , at the time I was very sensitive and they catfished me online pretending to be a girl. I believed it and when I found out the truth , I was suicidal ( even though that's kinda childish) . To deal with my loneliness I resorted to playing video games . Ever since then I usually played for 7 hours a day . My life went upsidedown from there on out . The smart kid who introduced me to these kids knew about it all along and didn't tell me . Do you think that this caused my video game addiction and how can I deal with it ?",4.02616220735786,5.052991532608694,4.23108695652174,89.93732441471573,71.17391304347827,8.052842809364549,26.11036789297659,8.384062270229773,1.426686120401338,718,22,156,11,13,223,110,184,0.077,0.833,0.09,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,2,0,12,7,1,0,10,0,12,3,0,4,3,26,19,11,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,13,13,0,0,4,9,0,1,1,1,0,3,11,0,25,6,29,6,1,24,0,0,0,0,18,12,0,1,11,109,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672125301781164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14993245124492288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897553921925514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730171308552152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861909984752977,0.5209111029189768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124200598404156,0.1523485238012835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393585155813214,0.0,0.0,0.1846674631537718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489361743525138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586303132489885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896236276192515,0.0,0.1688044002298033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124238654010715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176731929082805,0.0,0.1141279918050804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932150017491648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422776189517914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472093940723742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079188546346712,0.16547504421668016,0.0,0.09820898486722973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18549447824267065,0.1389668671762368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613009315844334,0.15197583820088034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964308515185225,0.0,0.0,0.10845908787783656
mentalhealth,wereyena,2019/01/01,"What's your weirdest coping mechanism?? (or one that you've heard of) Mine is meowing like a cat. Idk like its super weird (but I have been told I sound like an actual one) 

Normally cause like cats are cute and no one would exactly want to hurt a small innocent cute cat sooo yea

I meow when I feel uncomfortable/insecure/guilty but tbh its slowly morphing into something I normally do",2.7351351351351347,5.394007040540544,4.282364864864864,80.83543918918923,79.94594594594595,9.105405405405406,24.114864864864863,9.516144504307137,2.6956540540540535,307,11,57,10,8,102,59,74,0.106,0.667,0.227,0.782,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,2,9,0,0,3,1,6,0,0,1,1,12,10,5,0,4,3,0,1,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,3,3,7,7,3,6,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,5,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.2328823392432331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24515335716441194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066569086876106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554735791535103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4663580567726714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4676413440437772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4851345100768314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371998389079167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280347843375108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075854725774686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695260107568711,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,0kay_bro,2019/01/01,"I don't have empathy. When my mother's grandmother died, I laughed, didn't feel upset at all and didn't try to comfort her, just laughed. 

Whenever my mother tries to talk to me about her problems, I just don't care at all

Once a girl was texting me about her dead cousin, I only pretended to care and watched porn as she was talking to me about her dead cousin. 

Somebody just called me crying because their alcoholic stepdad was verbally abusing them, once again I didn't give a shit, and tried to find a way out of the conversation. 

Whenever anybody comes to me with their problems, I just pretend to care because I know that's what i'm supposed to do, not because I actually care. 

Why don't I have any empathy? Is there something wrong with me? Is there a way I can develop empathy?",7.158274193548388,6.267383625806452,7.268185483870969,77.46227822580646,64.35483870967741,10.846774193548386,38.729838709677416,10.125756701596842,3.777983870967741,622,30,123,12,8,201,83,155,0.248,0.685,0.067,-0.9822,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,3,0,11,12,1,1,5,0,15,3,1,0,2,19,24,5,3,2,5,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,7,1,0,3,2,0,1,7,5,0,0,6,2,26,7,19,18,2,8,0,0,1,1,18,3,1,0,2,81,28,0,0.0,0.1642988498083532,0.1353199195746305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819387073024748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942989635425626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25359209224889706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415954845839366,0.0,0.565524881526391,0.0,0.0,0.11945016348590085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232023563214767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439154429412349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011468382204697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673999736535171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330229366085643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620828079227054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953536898023526,0.0,0.10546322729411174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265373008067439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234066160978393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675336534810563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22291209683383345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824393141762059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22013633413632924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512625966084862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161163874981312,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throw_away815162342,2019/01/01,"I set my first therapist appointment! Im super jazzed and, for obvious reasons, scared.
Is there anyone here who knows what to expect? I've been looking into it and reading about people best and worst experiences with therapy. But I'd like to hear some more regular things to expect. ",4.421538461538457,7.135150384615389,5.258307692307696,75.88669230769231,74.0,8.775384615384615,27.707692307692305,9.3871,3.0146492307692307,228,9,37,6,5,74,44,52,0.115,0.706,0.179,0.5983,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,12,5,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,2,3,7,4,4,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,2,26,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966299856429866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846581766073037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653327185053824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307235198803817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057163549907411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929945256312338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907087789540235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251813451131764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277801126942117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18804929925897054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713215325020552,0.0,0.0,0.2788882528275745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715666966537124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31019587491299594,0.3149399841077237,0.18020520406390095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,icybutnotfrozen,2019/01/01,"I’ve overcome so much in 2018 In 2018 I was suicidal. I tried to end my life at the very young age of 13 two times. I was hospitalized in an intensive outpatient program for 2 1/2 months, I survived and I’m no longer depressed. In 2018 I could not leave my house because my anxiety and ocd was so bad. I missed out in school so much I almost had to drop out or be behind a year. I went to therapy and I can now leave the house and I’m going into high school next year. I still struggle with loads of things and I still have trouble going anywhere but it’s managed and I’m getting stronger. Everyday is a struggle but I’m slowly getting better. I hope everyone who is having a hard time doesn’t give up, things will get better. Happy new year!",1.2437987012987008,3.4228096623376665,2.9520616883116912,91.04094967532473,82.24675324675323,5.927922077922077,23.26136363636364,7.1686216300943375,0.8751441558441558,584,21,124,8,16,193,97,154,0.138,0.7070000000000001,0.155,0.8311,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,3,6,10,0,2,6,0,13,1,0,0,0,17,26,12,1,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,6,0,1,5,1,15,4,18,18,2,30,0,2,0,0,2,11,0,3,15,76,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371813379464087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215552939183303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149791527592387,0.0814029873904478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23620545732658596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661852232160324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501532364183895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827425020194035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760043839306054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20930289708099245,0.1281009711544078,0.15178444249574294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215274470735825,0.11962302793050986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141089296351133,0.0,0.1326324885256847,0.0,0.3081678091514952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827930524215593,0.0,0.0,0.09432121526260392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658805318208107,0.0,0.1963302927024297,0.0,0.0,0.12897098021846307,0.14201823942280106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702933842633262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132858290888572,0.0,0.0,0.27920397848676204,0.0,0.14606793261023265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527113317536252,0.0,0.17743225443762445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15573313420013116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066293718609596,0.0,0.1304463601101051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101821070881982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379024578756295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579805764799072
mentalhealth,demurearcher118,2019/01/01,Help: What are the Biological Foundations of Mental Health? For class reporting purposes....,8.630769230769232,13.117227846153849,8.72961538461539,44.052884615384635,78.23076923076924,14.907692307692313,37.269230769230774,11.20814326018867,8.144107692307692,74,4,8,4,2,24,13,13,0.0,0.816,0.184,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6598843004914006,0.0,0.0,0.4161110019595476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6256231645433188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,that_dude98,2019/01/01,"Thank you Thank you, you guys really help me get through this awful year thank you for all the advices you guys gave me, thank you for you're kind words and thank you for caring, you guys have a huge roll on my survival this year. ",4.541843971631207,4.954327723404255,3.826382978723405,95.53333333333336,69.63829787234043,7.117730496453903,22.04964539007092,6.42735559955562,0.06191347517730472,181,3,42,1,3,53,28,47,0.056,0.557,0.388,0.9577,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,8,0,1,0,7,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,9,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,11,7,5,8,1,4,0,0,0,0,13,2,0,0,2,23,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312649168650098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702008799796452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872164024900257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4958742933624387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189269731478466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383662548109607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694253517530504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7684544390148904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150007296284458
mentalhealth,w-under,2019/01/01,"I wish I had someone who I didn’t have to explain myself to I posted a while ago about wishing someone irl would ask me if I was ok. Since then I’ve had a few people talk to me but I realized I don’t know what the hell to say and even if I did I don’t think they would understand. I just wish I had someone who *knew*, who I didn’t have to explain myself too. 

I know some of you guys understand but in my life nobody gets it. It’s not their fault though, you can’t understand something you’ve never experienced. How the hell are you supposed to explain depression to someone who’s never been there before? How the hell are they supposed to help you?

Every conversation I have ends with “You should talk to a professional”. No shit. How the fuck do I explain to someone that every time I even *think* about opening up to someone I have a panic attack. It took so much courage to respond with “No, actually I’m not ok” and it’s gets me nowhere. Absolutely nowhere.

God it seems so much easier to just jump off the overpass already. ",1.235074534161491,3.5541117952380965,2.973726708074537,90.00475155279507,83.42857142857143,5.747412008281572,23.89233954451345,7.079830092131019,0.9482277432712212,807,31,169,11,23,267,104,210,0.206,0.672,0.122,-0.9813,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,5,3,0,14,12,6,1,9,2,21,3,1,3,2,39,43,14,0,8,8,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,11,5,0,0,14,0,0,2,11,9,0,0,10,2,31,3,21,30,4,14,3,1,0,1,24,4,5,4,7,123,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.10620052552035644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646954303241556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009451290658875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017395814092701,0.12380767300881508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260469627822963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373348179388503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963893934038903,0.0,0.0,0.14375986538961402,0.0,0.18338473345271014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060982345554624,0.11371637953241642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775692747095496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294518044475062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961815369951405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686850441881726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000234867762422,0.0,0.16786987724688882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768632529763707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544770078307568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422723552383194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654447198866211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099073013601401,0.0,0.0,0.11171047923611327,0.09002372770003067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5532581683281271,0.08378118710588496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494380652171124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946530250009428,0.10692305425228946,0.0,0.06345853942344848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091202176848873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.339881665786753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754408274266636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546167175257146,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,corndog54,2019/01/01,Is this just anxiety? I've noticed today and yesterday when I wake up for the first couple hours in the morning I feel a lot of panic. I have no idea why it just kind of happens. It always makes me feel as though I'm on the edge of having just a complete breakdown it's so bad but I never have a breakdown because I realize that I'm feeling intense panic for no reason and that allows me to not let it affect me to the extent of breaking down. I remember a year ago or so I had a similar feeling almost daily in the morning as well but it was to the point where it did make me cry a couple times. I figured it was just do to me being extremely stressed out for a long period of time. The difference is I don't feel super stressed as of now I have nothing wrong though i am a bit worried because i have my next semester of college coming up in 2 weeks and my driving test in a week so I've been a little worried about that but I try not to think about it. ,3.1001602787456477,3.6615690682926854,5.0865679442508736,84.67493902439023,72.95121951219512,7.613240418118467,28.789198606271768,7.7094869923839395,1.7213344947735187,749,29,159,9,14,260,111,205,0.17600000000000002,0.77,0.053,-0.9781,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,15,9,0,4,17,0,17,1,1,5,1,33,29,16,0,0,10,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,0,11,0,0,2,6,6,1,1,5,5,20,3,29,22,3,31,0,0,0,0,0,12,0,3,16,122,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837904428833098,0.0,0.1224290405864186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173286533780157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353109484198507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208475400637274,0.14906115370090925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347986480617385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531901263798996,0.1281907507343648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27056404636857856,0.13430050117476225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773913289998526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30910000690097195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399710607164377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811703817899364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040472885917815,0.0,0.0,0.13802039112553202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273184193609323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502251451392604,0.0,0.0,0.12253995286081905,0.0,0.10819917887244823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394389103005668,0.0,0.0,0.16322341299070076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429699928558732,0.0,0.1300284135359558,0.0,0.0,0.11731494007003095,0.13919758483407424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868992942113729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557834365890765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257070420323057,0.0,0.0,0.1385004924852516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801044090788289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834139004506446,0.24024615579154635,0.0,0.14258543450000025,0.0,0.11589131871218905,0.0,0.0,0.08300875955603053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961444993702526,0.0,0.10992939579850823,0.0,0.11032361729769252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24832864515586106,0.0,0.0,0.13367573246932102,0.0,0.07873356084192289
mentalhealth,Starlord_who,2019/01/01,"Dont put so much stress on yourself this new years Take it slow. Depression and mental illness can not be fully solved in sometimes even a year. Step by step! Clean your whole room, exercise, meditation, therapy and medication, etc
Try these things out one by one slowly and dont give yourself grief if it doesnt fully erase your mental illness.
Its a tough thing but everyone has the strength to surpass it!",3.585394736842108,6.383578065789473,3.796578947368424,84.76355263157895,77.55263157894737,6.957894736842108,26.605263157894736,8.07648339933343,1.9210315789473684,327,13,59,6,8,101,60,76,0.141,0.762,0.098,0.1762,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,2,5,0,1,3,0,6,4,0,0,0,7,8,6,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,8,4,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,4,0,2,0,0,2,1,6,7,3,11,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,1,4,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149965476875566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43951402441755344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20912006501747174,0.12384672043378675,0.0,0.0,0.17917114082114194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798739677627916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18889375170421485,0.3779262597773232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783934821949684,0.0,0.0,0.1810955977077557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25411942853279673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18849650035200988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18544939027450646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147888350405164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409820597806985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21443079562413905,0.0,0.24914287009052485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730506329288424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20934506422904176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414969456202883
mentalhealth,Tilairgan,2019/01/01,"Happy New Year! To those who have no one wishing them a Happy New Year, here's one from me! Big hugs! You made it and I'm proud of all of you.",-2.85818181818182,-1.2187537878787855,-0.143272727272727,107.84509090909091,102.03030303030305,2.64,9.630303030303027,3.1291,-2.351176969696969,107,1,30,0,5,36,27,33,0.052000000000000005,0.562,0.386,0.9357,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,1,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,4,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,4,4,4,3,1,5,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.569474346695337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530958119125363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5166672289990946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625024093262389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30758851813674565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444963855685039
mentalhealth,ComfortablePlane,2019/01/01,"Trigger Warning - Self Harm I just cut myself with a dull kitchen knife quite a bit. I threw the knife out, and I'm safe. I was just wondering what my risk of infection is. I made probably over 50 cuts, the knife was incredibly dull though so they are shallow, and I had hand-washed it before using it. I'm just worried because I really sawed through my skin in the same spots and the blade was pretty jagged. 

Im not at risk for any further self harm, and am talking to loved ones. Just wondering how to address the injuries and if I need to do anything about infection other than soap and water. I really don't want to have to deal with a doctors visit. ",3.600458015267176,5.01118541984733,4.471671755725193,86.3354465648855,72.66412213740458,7.682748091603054,27.603816793893127,8.238735603445708,1.7571520610687026,514,19,105,8,10,166,87,131,0.196,0.732,0.07200000000000001,-0.9186,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,1,1,8,10,2,2,8,0,10,7,1,4,0,25,21,10,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,4,9,2,1,2,0,0,2,2,8,0,1,7,2,12,2,16,14,2,7,0,2,1,1,7,5,0,3,0,67,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042019436104574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578224933448501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169101925657164,0.0,0.16319468134701007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20937925556979486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977216374865721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962997998505724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20716042102075694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309320843553289,0.18147135061033173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220594870686246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299582978533544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511402033318065,0.20677637852248626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203986669766254,0.0,0.0,0.2457244205379809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4001466044123351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541493029314941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18842752547803107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564043158100492,0.0,0.0,0.11311960392405815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159647218014282,0.0,0.1947667048318175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GuacamoleHomie,2019/01/01,"Crying makes me feel less like a man I'm 18 years old and I was at work today and I was messing up more than usual, and my coworkers/friends were making fun of me for it, which to an extent I'm ok with, I can take a joke, but they kept getting meaner and more constant with the insults, and then I kept messing up more after that, which they responded by making fun of me more. At some point they could see I was upset and told me to ""cheer up"" and to stop being sour about it, and I wanted to but god damn it I was pissed off. I did my best to pretend I was alright but that just translated to not talking to anyone the rest of my shift. I got home and started sobbing like a kid. I hate it and I'm ashamed of it but they made me feel like such utter shit it shot me back to when I was in elementary school when that type of thing would happen on a weekly basis. And I realize now that I cry a lot, and I hate it",1.8421775544388623,2.740532949748747,3.5779698492462337,93.0396850921273,76.28643216080404,6.311691792294807,21.809380234505863,6.42735559955562,0.17675450586264674,703,17,168,5,15,236,109,199,0.213,0.648,0.139,-0.9689,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,4,2,7,21,6,2,8,2,12,2,2,4,0,35,33,19,0,3,6,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,14,14,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,11,0,0,13,4,28,10,28,17,10,23,0,1,1,0,10,9,4,2,17,123,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291797534611442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417629546314288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947441098963975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451395716801632,0.0,0.12893709547740242,0.0,0.3547796601232244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633089890702819,0.1153689097376723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247672292115063,0.0,0.0843721679779234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291587772404093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428055953743575,0.0,0.0,0.31887704817881113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619882288718292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23668843515498555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729352462929953,0.0,0.1528063009031085,0.32338866838798314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694572085260676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266080588766304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16343709861475528,0.12868709194419248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576776991597544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430387076406885,0.0,0.0,0.13501336427990274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142082590107985,0.12980001905828795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072871722147252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307419668687436,0.1543111792378577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785906962671544,0.0,0.09525133403771543,0.0,0.12953801030694742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756707283748165,0.0,0.0,0.11471828171909015,0.0,0.0,0.10399464525988604
mentalhealth,LeRedditGentlesir,2019/01/02,"How do you apologize after an episode of mental instability? I have borderline, major depression, and agoraphobia. I always end up losing my friendships because sometimes, it's hard to contain so much pent up emotion. I'll threaten suicide, send 50 billion texts of utter nonsense, and have no sense of restraint. I am aware that this is unacceptable behavior, and I certainly do pay for it everytime it happens. I do therapy, but it's not as effective because I'll be slightly depressed 95% of the time, with that 5% being batshit crazy landing on a weekend or thursday night. I have ruined so many friendships with this self destructive behavior, and I know telling someone ""whoops sorry"" after the 10th time gets a bit old. Is there a way to handle it? Maybe wait a week to talk to them again?",5.754978056426332,7.663785337931035,6.315047021943574,73.26510971786836,68.03448275862068,8.858934169278996,37.319749216300934,9.339509955726095,3.916793103448277,634,35,101,13,11,206,103,145,0.245,0.7040000000000001,0.051,-0.9809,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,1,1,2,5,6,1,0,7,0,11,0,0,2,1,16,15,10,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,2,3,1,1,1,2,5,0,1,0,1,10,1,17,13,3,17,0,4,0,0,7,4,0,1,11,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736361412613512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23057250765815596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064708771272807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3257788496632632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21273538876420456,0.16750485046479774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880778619054374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723885462152496,0.0,0.16941504487607945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393581825105463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21157774400704807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19173875679861865,0.18999721290582464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905892342991176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902551174359906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747701246005554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984504135637617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19729418792631445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16024139773330862,0.0,0.18704525752977186,0.21170519605252824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068674049322172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520080950627657,0.16529987131213725,0.0,0.2162760596325594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205556603577546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501152484833877,0.15170125804170825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TeapotTheDog,2019/01/02,"How normal is it to act a little crazy after a breakup? Long story short. I'm 24, a girl broke my heart, it was super messy. Anyway my question is how normal is it to act crazy after a breakup? I sent her so many text. Going from I love you to I hate you. Never any threats, or I hope something bad happens to you. More along the lines of you really hurt me. Like I could probably fill a book. I'd hate to know how many I sent her in total.

My actions were definitely not ok. Not gonna go into the details of the relationship, because at the end of the day, she told me to stop texting her and I didn't. The first couple weeks were daily, then it was every few weeks. I honestly feel horrible and sick to my stomach for doing that. I feel really sick when I run into her. 

I'm not looking for anyone to tell me it's ok, I know it's not. I should've listened. Just this is surprisingly the first time I fell in love and while my friends tell me I'm good, it happens to everyone. It's so unlike me to lose control of my emotions. I'm scared it could happen again.

Any input would be great!",0.3512608695652162,2.43186116956522,2.6197391304347843,92.66656521739132,85.13043478260869,5.2452173913043465,19.634782608695648,6.55674776486733,0.11515304347826084,839,24,187,9,25,285,127,230,0.18,0.6709999999999999,0.149,-0.7302,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,4,0,5,9,20,3,1,12,2,14,6,2,4,2,30,38,12,0,6,6,0,2,1,1,2,2,1,0,1,11,6,0,2,5,1,0,10,6,8,0,2,8,4,33,12,25,25,3,33,0,3,1,2,21,7,0,3,17,120,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666380934469389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856701132059114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230061137904216,0.07468817114216905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741865202404005,0.1956474251709221,0.13556807590957812,0.0,0.07901644519782168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378205692031016,0.10851797610846443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322992717721123,0.1170748603464033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390143852925033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20843401419405105,0.0,0.0,0.09466006291889692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926396046702144,0.10276549906930796,0.0,0.1350807515269925,0.0,0.0,0.3250369523007863,0.0,0.0,0.2419298852331544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518895998720316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169182384552805,0.0,0.0,0.13116215444273796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466958849829827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059857977946984685,0.12279906258321617,0.0,0.10842796514620402,0.10288748036403553,0.1370705893323659,0.0,0.0,0.22116147260493565,0.0,0.0,0.24843581271351806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449638951495623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400907616142296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320992567740772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725249147269492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698124493837262,0.0,0.0,0.13154259428008971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266572721822545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432329159494708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024337371150734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21417896181522872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144346511422173,0.0,0.0,0.1170748603464033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19655924530082491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703599361871021,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,legion511723,2019/01/02,CANT SLEEP CANT SLEEP. THEYRE NOT REAL. CANT SLEEP. NONE OF IT IS REAL. CANT SLEEP. THEYRE NOT REAL. CANT SLEEP. NONE OF IT IS REAL. CANT SLEEP. THEYRE NOT REAL. CANT SLEEP. NONE OF IT IS REAL. CANT SLEEP. THEYRE NOT REAL. CANT SLEEP. NONE OF IT IS REAL. CANT SLEEP. THEYRE NOT REAL. CANT SLEEP. NONE OF IT IS REAL. CANT SLEEP. THEYRE NOT REAL. CANT SLEEP. NONE OF IT IS REAL. CANT SLEEP. THEYRE NOT REAL. CANT SLEEP. NONE OF IT IS REAL. CANT SLEEP. THEYRE NOT REAL. CANT SLEEP. NONE OF IT IS REAL. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP. CANT SLEEP.,-1.3365309973045854,-3.5662967285714267,-1.4112398921832874,109.88529649595688,162.71428571428572,1.0566037735849056,2.641509433962264,3.1291,-3.329625336927224,558,0,124,0,53,156,9,140,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,46,38,38,0,0,24,46,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,54,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,46,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,78,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319276638386479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9019082509939068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nic_nac_k89,2019/01/02,"My employee might have delusional disorder I don't want to give out too many personal details, so I'll try to keep to the relevant Coles Notes - an employee revealed to me in late November they have long been the subject of criminal harassment that has now become an issue in the work environment. I reached out to the appropriate internal parties who advised me to encourage this employee to involve the police while they conducted their own investigation. Long story short, after checking out the claims, speaking to the accused, reviewing alibis and such - the police and our internal investigators have concluded there's no truth to the claim. The police are intending to partner with a health practitioner to meet with this person and try to have a discussion with them about what else could be potentially going on. They've alluded to the belief that this person may have some form of delusional mental health disorder. 

I'm now supposed to meet with HR to discuss next steps, but given mental health is often misunderstood and mishandled by well-meaning people. Does anyone have any advice for me or any resources they can provide? I would like to do my best to do right by this person.  ",13.410106635071086,10.107998037914694,12.256439573459721,54.16674466824647,54.402843601895725,16.237203791469195,47.702014218009474,14.191785591663535,6.77404691943128,970,45,147,30,8,314,134,211,0.07200000000000001,0.855,0.073,0.517,3,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,5,3,8,5,1,0,15,0,19,3,0,2,1,26,25,8,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,3,3,1,0,5,8,11,0,1,3,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,2,1,14,4,34,18,4,18,1,0,0,0,21,8,0,5,9,109,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956630749832296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803327377470286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271065059586273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464362483765408,0.0,0.0,0.1391459849863558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058630565329401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039213512449929,0.0,0.11603120315022593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076269571087527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719328739464078,0.07535447250093724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4228138269488671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383904669625768,0.0,0.11785289735459682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956832726974534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477722359814543,0.0,0.0,0.234677574601278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442637674951072,0.0,0.14443037669324602,0.0,0.0,0.267240913022114,0.14065800754864075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101194221558158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192184564394514,0.4630930905099729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323191686681247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004105545231966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820555692477102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192151560308514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652776520305516,0.0,0.0,0.09418878173130736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,devo266,2019/01/02,"will my suicidal thoughts ever go away? After a severe/prolonged depression, I've noticed that even when I'm feeling ""well"" the suicidal thoughts are always lurking in the background. It doesn't take much--a little screw up to think ""oh, well that decides it. Time to die.""

​

is this anyone else's experience after depression? can I even consider myself not-depressed?

I'm freaked because I was hospitalized 7 times last year for suicidal thoughts/attempts and got hella treatment (residential, PHP, DBT) which got me out of the hole, but now I'm going back to school in a week after taking time off and I don't want to spiral into another mental breakdown. goddamnit I just want to survive 2019.

​

I'm gonna talk to my therapist about this obvi but I'm so freaked. Am I doomed to a life of wanting to die",3.731376344086023,6.296826696774198,4.57935483870968,80.6356989247312,75.58064516129029,6.972043010752689,30.978494623655912,8.021203637495839,2.5407978494623658,658,32,112,11,15,212,105,155,0.223,0.759,0.018000000000000002,-0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,11,8,1,0,6,0,8,2,0,0,1,16,27,6,5,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,6,2,0,5,1,9,2,22,20,0,23,1,3,0,1,1,8,1,0,13,66,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577697038453573,0.2494334532398684,0.2797314853797828,0.0,0.12069811955686092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048441964653777,0.11793915462617853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814537634119044,0.0885089999495104,0.0,0.07016722499701307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29742051308407635,0.0,0.2389226062023552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615584860509738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205215221848334,0.10411948582901843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259523483123755,0.0,0.0,0.05820078321496715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083418028089155,0.0,0.1841207158840278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382631944183806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130239620787494,0.0,0.11536591835000695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599923877222565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461576327478465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104833837112215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164928789274044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777200992569503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308997395139694,0.09251741515905007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133646320243148,0.0,0.0737549362176615,0.0,0.18276176856706816,0.2013567723472684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203676562135096,0.0,0.09233066347288743,0.0,0.2069872789058543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797314853797828,0.07412414758973547
mentalhealth,PurpleShirt777,2019/01/02,"I have severe suicidal thoughts and actions. I want to get help, but i cannot tell my mother, and i have no dad, im looking for a councilor that i can talk to who is not a mandatory reporter, and who cant tell anyone else, but i can't afford anything as i am 16, and work part time at a burger King. I know there are programs to help, but i don't know them. Im in traverse city Michigan, i have a license, and can make a cover story. I cannot tell my mother, and i have no father. My mother or any other family are not options. I have a 2 very close friends who help me get through day to day. ",3.1437692307692338,2.9126891846153846,4.998269230769231,88.1704807692308,72.53846153846155,7.423076923076922,27.788461538461537,6.6274283507984215,1.1187692307692303,454,15,106,3,8,157,73,130,0.096,0.7809999999999999,0.123,0.6351,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,6,0,16,0,0,1,0,19,24,11,1,1,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,9,0,0,0,1,1,18,1,9,23,1,7,0,0,1,0,17,3,0,2,3,70,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950160069327515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228736532915316,0.18005490825026754,0.14460981807696588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22666105899102526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679885194356354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566146027939124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357676243953945,0.0,0.18362207582622875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533619037959003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37963448886973067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931518905114664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756792208157646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730032942383507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902971509374731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852350932927293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221877029603007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412441419545084,0.4607841144058744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950902724079647,0.1024688684756492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499465251988702,0.1036493911463747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793264935944546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IsiusMaiko,2019/01/02,"Ever experience 'almost' hallucinations? Hey everyone! My first time posting here....

​

Quick run down, I suffered years of sexual abuse as a child, and have lived with severe depression and derealization episodes.  I've tried a dozen different medications and gave up, and for the most part that's been OK.  I'm 28 now.

​

However, over the past year, I've had new symptoms that are starting to worry me.  My eyesight is still 20/20 - I was just tested in the past couple of months for something unrelated, but I can't trust my eyes as much anymore.  I will see something, like a garbage bag in an alley, and something about it will trigger 'danger', and that fear makes me register the object as something else.   Could be an animal or person or just an unknown object all together.  Thing is, I never straight up 'see' something, it's not a visual hallucination in that effect.  I just can't see what is really there.... I'm not sure if this makes any sense. 

​

It's kind of like that specific object is blurred out and my mind is just guessing at the shape, without overlaying a new visual for it.

​

I've also been tired ALL the time.  My wife and I went on a mini-vacation (kind of, it was work for her, vacation for me), but the entire time I slept in the hotel.  I literally could not get the energy to go out.  

​

And when I sleep - which would be all day every day if I could have it my way - my dreams are more and more vivid, but terrifying.   When I was younger, peaking at aprox 15-16, I use to get what I would call 'waking dreams'.  The feeling that I was suddenly somewhere else entirely.  Example, walking down a sidewalk and suddenly feel pulled away, that I'm riding on horseback in the dark in the rain with a torch and a few other people, following some trail.  I can hear the rain, smell the damp earth, feel the wind and temperature.... it's bizarre.  Sometimes so strong I'd almost lose my balance.  It's hard to be in two places at once.

​

These went away as I got older, and have been completely absent for so many years.  But it's coming back, I had my first episode in years again the other day.  I want to be alarmed by it, but I also welcome these 'waking dreams', as they kind of energize me.

​

Anywho.... I don't get to talk about this much with anyone, and thought I'd reach out to reddit to see if anyone else out there can relate at all, heh.

​

Thanks for taking the time to read this wall of text :) 

​

​",5.06627361480918,6.1926031422594185,5.413902624572081,82.04668631925956,68.8326359832636,8.30439964498542,28.919994928363128,8.575989854853784,2.0613227336122733,1954,69,376,30,33,622,234,478,0.098,0.826,0.076,-0.8293,2,0,5,0,1,0,121.0,0,0,1,6,21,19,1,2,29,2,35,8,5,5,7,70,66,36,0,9,18,1,4,2,0,4,3,1,0,2,28,23,0,0,5,6,0,9,8,6,0,4,15,12,36,13,59,40,12,71,0,3,6,0,11,29,0,11,33,251,64,4,0.0,0.04998858112899705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449493927842383,0.0,0.0,0.06747910109808622,0.0,0.4571314923015981,0.5126580644835652,0.028690836210516588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041841419499635775,0.0590008475321372,0.043228926236456064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927831111703437,0.03244171998864406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04308099160085479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03634318922653428,0.04423570440262555,0.0,0.0,0.10105651321032937,0.04668274079282003,0.0,0.08162771813624374,0.0,0.03633842513136739,0.0,0.0,0.04407986138813252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573369208204264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038163522427701935,0.03554712936760775,0.0403146192216527,0.0,0.0412701881450965,0.0,0.047475793014395515,0.06399801760013618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177405883902788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066128037678183,0.0,0.023977707600570053,0.0,0.03374341994726922,0.0,0.04647734844583894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03779420260535642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04755151027197973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180404822334607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04122407801590699,0.0,0.03725478896062342,0.0,0.0,0.04720012989186219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056324677149337615,0.042774320468685484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042502267041469054,0.0,0.0,0.04260015428391035,0.0,0.033675877855342526,0.0,0.06202941848516817,0.0,0.032539743800202366,0.08149526794154663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044931269761338564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04568796030513956,0.0805507896958411,0.02924942692589132,0.036838923913754235,0.04407986138813252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04040662442328315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042201695883007324,0.0,0.027028172811422498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448075858392886,0.0,0.0,0.04766300582636177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222074790906615,0.0,0.0,0.16240068846257766,0.04172726433252803,0.0,0.0298624963413144,0.0,0.03369321098492166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039763838273818616,0.043851853828772255,0.031721838858060535,0.03391094779485912,0.0,0.03884314008706115,0.0,0.0,0.02802934639322228,0.0,0.0,0.03349436850413195,0.09840596293459553,0.048491518803600295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02864442972300048,0.0,0.041213771699513804,0.0,0.0,0.0364388545471248,0.0,0.0,0.02488491942742447,0.03348867935244189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822162188671296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04066992300143424,0.0,0.030715025300542712,0.04284627587750897,0.0,0.05994152683051724,0.0,0.5126580644835652,0.1086766246087916
mentalhealth,Pashera,2019/01/02,"That loveable bastard So I've been trying to kill myself for years now. Before you start saying, ""you clearly cant do it right"", allow me to explain myself. I am not a good person. But people cared about,me so I couldn't very well hurt them like that. I have spent years. Sewing seeds of hatred fro me in every person I meet and start to get close to in my life for the sole purpose of not hurting anyone when I would finally meet my own bullet. Yet always my best friend kept me,from doing it. At first that was my friend Spencer Schram, until just recently when I finally pushed him away, but replacing him came a man named Josh Holbrook. No problem, I've made better people hate me, I thought to myself. Ive shown him everything, from the terrible manipulative things I did to past friends to the ways I had actually tried to kill myself in middle school to my jealousy of him for the fact he has my dad's respect, but despite that he still thinks of me as a good person and continues to be my friend. I can't do anything too drastic because I dont want to actually hurt him and if I go to prison for making a threat against his family or something similar then I wont be able to hold on to the life insurance policy to which his is my sole beneficiary. I'm stumped. Please help me.",5.643256113256111,5.5056041621621645,6.315428571428572,80.53790476190477,67.22393822393823,9.223268983268985,30.007979407979413,8.841846274778883,2.1843418790218787,1014,33,206,15,15,333,156,259,0.168,0.669,0.16399999999999998,-0.6309,0,0,1,0,0,2,25.0,0,2,1,3,11,22,5,0,9,0,20,2,0,4,2,29,36,15,2,5,8,1,0,1,4,2,2,1,0,4,8,5,0,2,3,0,1,3,8,10,1,1,9,1,41,12,33,22,2,30,0,3,0,0,27,9,1,2,18,135,49,1,0.1106216347014376,0.0,0.21590151621191028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920460617859882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734921906436466,0.0,0.09103217978515216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039326672435382,0.0,0.0,0.06743392176110448,0.0,0.09413086346253953,0.0,0.11609058080665363,0.09783584632163016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265216801587041,0.11278612912359375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964773200313948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320349830794386,0.0,0.09941959234546996,0.0,0.10428423212314712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24236118734527695,0.0,0.09409470596595457,0.0,0.0,0.341864002246005,0.0,0.057795238391903564,0.0,0.06286882427739908,0.18556835755931228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921596219989947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414734993639133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35526824363687165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447728976768171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627066412005147,0.054044143000522515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467286547372973,0.0738408001542807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560086742139534,0.15338222587840453,0.28977163363780795,0.0,0.12142933584873812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105849964631181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922551877422136,0.0,0.0,0.09447027160868457,0.0,0.08797076394188749,0.0,0.11195500012506987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516193887725691,0.0,0.0,0.15659712481621332,0.0,0.08834258036835901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349209867601968,0.07088187681084374,0.0,0.0878212213964382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502096571349307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127443386348084,0.06524750625463416,0.08780630461273861,0.0,0.0,0.0994621347208434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858243540214825,0.0,0.0,0.14247341174993206
mentalhealth,Hotdogs2299,2019/01/02,"Just found out mom, grandma, & great gma all took antidepressants So I’ve never posted to reddit before, but her I go. I just found out my great grandmother & grandmother took/take anti depressants and anxiety meds their entire lives. My mom was on at least anxiety meds, not sure about anti depressants. I’ve always had crazy thoughts and think that I’m going to lose my mind later in life. Is there anything heritary about mental health? What should I expect in this situation?",4.279229797979799,7.164838261363638,4.582424242424242,79.62419191919194,75.47727272727273,8.002020202020201,23.41414141414141,8.841846274778883,2.092117171717172,389,12,65,9,9,122,64,88,0.251,0.67,0.079,-0.9437,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,6,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,18,12,4,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,6,0,8,3,10,5,2,12,0,3,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908749155194873,0.310141405979076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189731593591643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777574977976987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217847693846608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465384785582026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31384787701033545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267704309659906,0.0,0.0,0.3155811046014487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521301055876131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010900468315688,0.0,0.0,0.12637777994168956,0.0,0.0,0.16011492200365707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179486096032507,0.0,0.14423152363097028,0.0,0.14451062732537232,0.3352413533582145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103831398880676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370696125791911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087312836186854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488911743177648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170566064546808,0.0,0.11362147123085492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180236700451277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Savassan,2019/01/02,"How to resolve issues rooted in a past history you cant remember? Also, professional ways to test memory? So, i have suffered from several mental illnesses, AvPD being one of the big ones, Depression, OCD, PTSD few others. I have had thousands of hours of therapy, in and out of mental hospitals and went from unstable to stable. I have managed to root out roughly when all my problems started. Age 12. do too extreme bullying-Some doctors suspect i have PTSD from the bullying. I managed to put it all behind me (so i thought) until my mental breakdown at age 21. The thing is, my memory simply is... broken, from all the bullying in homeschooling age 12-14, i simply dont remember. I can track the root of my issues, the lack of self worth, the anxiety, the depression, the mistrust, the desperation to be liked by everyone, the fear of criticism to age 12. I have one friend from middle school who remembers the bullying and a lot of details, yet i... i simply dont. I mean i KNOW i was bullied, i have a few memories but mostly its just ""i was made fun of"" or ""i was beaten up a few times"", i DO remember going to bed crying praying for death, i do remember having almost no friends. But thats it, which is the main reason i even know my bullying was bad because why i go to bed crying praying for death if it WASNT. seriously. My friend from middle school, T, said he wasnt surprised when i mentioned i may have PTSD from that time, he would talk about how bad it was. He could tell me about these horrible things that happened to me, and to me he could be making them up, but im positive he isnt. I have tried to straighten my life out, i live on disability and have become stable. But i cant manage to make any more progression. I have hit a point of simple apathy and stagnation. I suspect some of it comes from feelings of not thinking i deserve to be happy and a bunch of other stuff, all of which stems from self worth which was mostly affected in middleschool. I have tried to simply accept that im an adult (now 30) and that i should be able to make/change my life and become happy, but its like building a house in a swamp. Everytime i try and build, the foundation gives out and i end back at square 1. I dont know if its possible to move forward without rebuilding everything from ground up. But at this point... i dont know how. How do you fix issues that formed who you are, to the core, when you cant remember it, and HOW cant i remember it? you would think things so important would be easy. My memory is one of the worst i have ever met, I dont remember when it got so bad, but even things from last week i tend to not remember, stories from past my family tell me i dont remember, highschool i dont remember much, my one relationship (5 years) has some memories but i would expect id have more- but again, its REALLY hard to compare if i have a bad memory or a normal one, because everyone is different. to me it FEELS like mine is terrible. I have been in and out of dozens of mental hospitals and again, its like a mist. I Know the facts that i have been there, but i cant tell you many stories from them.

To go along with my memory is my attention, which also is almost 0. But not from like ADHD, i just dont... notice things or keep a thought. Like my parents can go ""pick up the clothes on the stairs when you go upstairs"" and 30s later ill go upstairs ill walk right past the clothes, not notice them, not remember my parents asking me. I get lost driving to places i have been too dozens of times.",3.3832671394799085,4.760102478014186,4.916985815602839,83.06361111111113,73.15602836879432,8.626477541371159,26.81442080378251,9.150863307647796,2.1696052009456266,2737,97,554,60,54,921,280,705,0.161,0.738,0.1,-0.9925,3,0,0,0,0,0,108.0,0,7,3,4,31,29,1,1,33,0,74,6,0,14,6,117,109,49,2,14,25,2,4,6,3,6,6,1,2,3,37,23,0,1,30,0,2,13,23,14,0,9,20,6,83,15,85,74,20,72,2,4,1,0,35,30,0,14,36,408,120,10,0.04335575325286519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210519011020071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682904831432514,0.0,0.0,0.06934316042462815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029483398944077033,0.0,0.03316703256852671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04053177669494861,0.0,0.0,0.033337898060518366,0.1448009719804769,0.05285852953878771,0.09576604635850472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04586463817380442,0.03734714244659165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923208216532459,0.0,0.09524851823787893,0.0,0.0,0.07468449349377043,0.0,0.0,0.045297534347554236,0.0,0.04437645059487468,0.0,0.0,0.4065009593244537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038400328712695685,0.0,0.0,0.057272132251340174,0.03921776098093405,0.0,0.08285656040620096,0.03896535542856721,0.0,0.04087194560357483,0.04878727602637013,0.04384394307855098,0.030973358786736013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048964224370292,0.0,0.02265159163189737,0.041590789139190884,0.1478404422439745,0.0,0.034675556499750834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03833934941693473,0.0923060110692617,0.03883823897675569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04269668360264255,0.050026718198948016,0.0,0.0,0.0936633067954119,0.13575642665299673,0.0,0.038536585567677285,0.0,0.0,0.11913594068436438,0.035340725516387804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124690140890024,0.12708858633397674,0.0,0.03828392443650146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732792622554071,0.0368595109991777,0.0,0.041024262026118835,0.08682090587768683,0.04395592884385111,0.0,0.047227125466967085,0.0,0.0,0.17476960758757634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0460803043392696,0.03187146721776205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247943288977698,0.0,0.0987216248767695,0.0,0.0,0.17627388275912922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628286635966342,0.0,0.12416391685679128,0.0,0.0,0.045297534347554236,0.0,0.08197040128371504,0.04887709747097462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041485600540617854,0.15204166629535198,0.0435845069585304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027774805721296102,0.044576935234452886,0.0,0.04654785355587005,0.5893634008381079,0.03702557638613575,0.041241249711069516,0.0,0.0,0.0877566738901923,0.0,0.0,0.09045901236235557,0.04897966045121378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030687425303215318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04963196470144487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03484771217790862,0.11368451797554988,0.0,0.049581082336014035,0.0,0.14401817984485638,0.05556123211169632,0.0,0.06883925039628325,0.0758432651384326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830713153692307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03441377888792255,0.03477737008072675,0.0,0.0,0.04019121762811076,0.03912182375467834,0.0,0.0,0.04179339898209925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319473269401908,0.0,0.0,0.027919683620638274
mentalhealth,throwaway102820381,2019/01/02,"i think i need help im 14 male and i hate myself, i watch porn of guys and girls 11-15 bc they are in my age group, ik its illegal but its my age, im scared ill get arrested, i dont wanna be a paedophile, i feel like one and i think about it nonstop and have it boiled up, i dont wanna be this person, what do i do?
ps. i dont have a sexual attraction to people under those ages, or children at all for that matter i just wanna kno what the fuck is wrong with me

I cry everynight calling myself a paedophile, depression and isolation are my only friends, the one person who knows is my mom and mommy is in rehab (yes im a mommas boy) and i live with my asshole father who im not close with at all",-0.7589754689754677,1.2058784415584434,2.151861471861473,94.87318903318905,89.25974025974025,4.9806637806637815,16.997113997114,6.42735559955562,-0.2711994227994228,536,13,126,6,18,188,93,154,0.249,0.688,0.063,-0.987,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,2,8,2,1,6,1,14,5,0,0,2,26,22,9,0,4,4,3,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,7,11,11,1,0,4,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,0,2,22,3,16,20,2,10,0,1,1,2,17,7,1,1,4,84,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167917104776764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241026069140304,0.0,0.0,0.1195050939749341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4878415826943557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015612334936623,0.09912296326511164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071978361063034,0.12827205579853926,0.07249110116486282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738422490464586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698681041792976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300113979802196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5994948486340037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625332178741871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778619738625419,0.0,0.12251871234542155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625022173887532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288130000268414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18804105947564945,0.1055255586924779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619171719344344,0.2423021387599131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389128647998693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778106794129959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517012450106334,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TerminallyOdd,2019/01/02,"How to handle friend having some mental health issues... ...when that friend is being a total a-hole to me in the process? Long story short, a friend I've had for many years had some bouts with depression years back along with a physical health scare and we were worried he was going to harm himself. We all rushed to be by his side and did what we could to help see him through it, myself included. I don't think he ever fully recovered psychologically, and has never quite seemed like himself since. This was a guy I enjoyed being around for many years, and the feeling was mutual - we would hang out and have a good time. Nowadays, he is going about getting help, but is very hush-hush about the means he's taking to do so.

Anyway, over time, he's gotten the idea in his head that I only care about myself and constantly takes jabs at me about this. I believe he's basing this on a few seemingly minor events where he needed me to show I cared about him by doing him a favor (that's the test he gives everyone), and apparently I failed. I explain those situations since I do believe they're explainable (we were running late for a movie one time and I couldn't make a detour, for example), but he constantly brings them up, neglecting to recall that I was there for him in his darkest time. I'm not even sure he remembers that.

Either way, if there wasn't a group context involved, I would probably suggest he and I go our separate ways - neither of us needs the toxicity. If I try to have a convo about it, it would be passed off as being said in jest, but a few times when drunk he's been more serious about it, and I can tell it's legit. Quite frankly, the feeling is mutual at this point, and he's being coddled by others in the group since they feel sorry for him and are worried about what he might do if called out for his antics. I'm pretty much done feeling that way. He basically asks to be coddled, as his big thing is the group looks down on him and the only way to show you care is to abide by his requests for favors. I tried for a long time to be sensitive to his issues, but I'm not interested in doing this or coddling anyone. I'm also very different personality-wise as he seems hell-bent on spreading misery to others, whereas I'm someone who would never unload my grief on anyone.

Saying I don't want to be around him would ruin a group dynamic we have with others who are very close to me and who don't get together all that often. They wouldn't accept us alternating hang out sessions, and me coming out and saying I don't want to deal with it would just throw a monkey wrench into this group thing, that is important to most involved as we are lifelong friends. We also chat constantly as a group over text...so yeah, I'm really not sure how to go about handling this without potentially blowing the whole thing up. Do I just keep my mouth shut for the greater good or what?",7.899275306502338,6.089530703639518,7.959695744271138,76.05845882277427,63.45407279029462,10.835843122151617,32.982155465690994,9.444778638647367,2.726583464920727,2284,67,456,33,27,744,261,577,0.093,0.7979999999999999,0.11,0.8747,2,0,0,0,0,0,65.0,11,1,3,3,28,26,0,1,28,1,57,5,2,3,8,99,99,37,1,16,16,0,4,1,4,8,2,3,0,1,34,38,1,2,14,4,0,12,14,8,0,1,14,9,58,18,81,66,14,70,0,5,2,0,78,32,0,13,23,320,92,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036264634834453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649639020793843,0.0,0.0,0.12285381752615812,0.06450807995861076,0.0,0.0,0.0530587102047257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554845140825889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045932982228156,0.0,0.2110581294343148,0.0,0.0,0.05943959647519256,0.0,0.22370176478986745,0.0,0.05509293024130447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113861059206468,0.05943180475684544,0.0,0.0,0.07209298989314021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061357717313613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0455755408216539,0.062416766977576636,0.0,0.06593490416181039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955907272944335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21324483012121412,0.0,0.07210198038825874,0.06619354417954777,0.15686298252961026,0.11575214887682928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832338404684273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081653491825844,0.14669299146805312,0.0,0.0,0.09250192437486306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789549245062542,0.0,0.14404149270068398,0.0,0.061332646773448435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783789445014455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033711165894851694,0.0,0.0,0.1221301903623362,0.05794477257696973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605974534160863,0.1399155331311956,0.0,0.07516401782155625,0.0,0.0,0.06953835200369753,0.07320081293276186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050724821937989883,0.10232904944072843,0.10643805797197614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046757921195272285,0.10495911416769946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652297238293566,0.0,0.0,0.07020041149758822,0.07439643156074663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467854348258586,0.0,0.0,0.044204807546162767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816645047020934,0.0,0.06563723702460507,0.10974721227841967,0.06908360124574725,0.0,0.05498610739746563,0.18845202018564766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712388947606771,0.0775617697597526,0.0,0.0,0.058465646090246674,0.0,0.0,0.07724271781798465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300681944321476,0.0,0.10376267693081638,0.0,0.060311279804131736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375267064779336,0.044214054945522815,0.0,0.0,0.24141568965477245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369641906682626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600316986134012,0.0,0.0,0.17080301829750855,0.08139899665183255,0.2190840847553301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703889523407642,0.0,0.06651600652915317,0.0,0.0,0.14015090050294807,0.0,0.29410463771117706,0.0,0.0,0.13330616101344328
mentalhealth,jquintz,2019/01/02,"I know its cheesy but I really want to start the new year off on the right foot I've been putting off seeing a professional again for many months and I decided that I need to do something serious. I have no idea how to sign up for professional help. The last time I did it was while I was in school so it was free and easy.

No I'm working and I have my own health insurance. The insurance company's site has a database that I can search to find providers but all it lists is their telephone and location. How do I find some one who is right for me? I don't want to waste my time but is my only option to just try a bunch of different places? Are all the places the same? I have so many questions ",1.6860910518053345,3.3820814081632697,3.028163265306123,93.49238618524332,78.45578231292518,7.244165358451076,22.192046049188903,8.139509932561175,0.8740815279958136,545,16,129,10,13,177,89,147,0.048,0.8170000000000001,0.134,0.9262,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,6,2,0,0,9,0,17,2,1,2,2,25,24,12,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,6,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,5,1,17,2,15,19,6,20,0,0,1,0,5,10,0,3,9,88,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357458356428155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211828206375227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867664585728946,0.0,0.0,0.11777152169150032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983498341427346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965630072968949,0.14322322534715978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562750798212857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024624984688555,0.0,0.0,0.1302832124555701,0.0,0.16969722004226545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119062420971534,0.13363175603599625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3671491671285631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17663230085278914,0.1968300858922179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256127882689172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001026375590952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782308790553786,0.1400143312445845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352664814100195,0.0,0.0,0.1243650764183794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20491028212289292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192923274312256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727101116293614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279155106470352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314841674559928
mentalhealth,SuperJavaMC,2019/01/02,"I have a good life but I cant stop asking myself if im happy. I have good friends and parents I really don't have any problems in school. I work out, I have a job, I party on occasions, sometimes girls like me. I think positive about my future I have almost no stress. Whenever I'm alone with myself my stomach just drops and I'm on the verge of crying and I don't know why. I can't figure out if I'm happy. I act happy all the time. I just get sad for no reason at all when I'm alone. I haven't really ever talked about it to someone or tried seeing a therapist. Every test I take says I don't have depression I also don't think I'm worthless. I just get a sad physical feeling. What's wrong with me?",-1.0336580086580085,1.0494922142857137,2.0583116883116896,93.36699134199137,94.38961038961041,5.011255411255411,16.424242424242426,6.655083550727371,-0.07633419913419902,547,14,123,8,21,193,86,154,0.16899999999999998,0.541,0.29,0.9728,2,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,8,14,0,1,6,0,13,2,1,1,3,26,27,9,0,3,7,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,7,0,1,6,0,0,1,9,7,0,0,0,3,24,7,13,27,2,14,0,4,1,0,6,7,0,4,6,75,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562536427986097,0.30123957277090097,0.0,0.11629890218994048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889618266681696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595576274761678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974608077352054,0.0,0.0,0.1252571205400728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154815905420486,0.12252955520101975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353288221202478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235748897547873,0.0,0.15196049464794106,0.0,0.0,0.2439565973800832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4644331619939371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708744292994792,0.0,0.1443150773391535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992355138192703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272025896674887,0.07104888682606376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148083803449825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915517464216098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18633009480071944,0.14952444044986715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156503647629144,0.0,0.14718113179112008,0.11588746985712968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322086649969625,0.0,0.1438322370716969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215845112894635,0.1665875449693945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934392944197847,0.11688970174720804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885338274936978,0.0,0.1863690740180278,0.0,0.0,0.08480036983303865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987362213316839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122635675894273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058734827542234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900293870620755,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,infiniteunicornsleep,2019/01/02,"One Step Forward, Three Steps Back I'm on mobile. Excuse the formatting.

I just feel so fucking frustrated today. I've been off work since the end of September due to a mental breakdown. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, General Anxiety Disorder and Major Depression. My psychologist is also considering Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia but, she is waiting until she knows me and my history better.

I used to be a capable business professional who had it all together. Who was dependable, got things done, and could do it all, plus more. Now, I can't even grocery shop without having someone else with me and I can't even leave the house by myself. I can't focus on anything for more than 10 minutes and I feel like a failure. The thoght of a crowd of people sends me into a full blown anxiety (panic?) attack. I feel like a shell of my former self.

I hate being like this. I hate waiting until I feel better. I hate not being capable. I've been on a new dose of my meds (Cipralex 20mg) since Nov 27th.  I don't feel like it's working. I see my primary care physician tomorrow.  I don't want to say this med isn't working, then I have to start all over. Again. But, I won't feel better unless I say something.

I never thought I would be mentally ill. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.",1.854612976664772,4.371175529880478,3.8901351735913514,83.13864043824705,82.54581673306774,7.091690381331817,24.900540694365397,8.192908349453996,1.9375337507114399,1002,40,188,22,28,340,145,251,0.172,0.6859999999999999,0.14300000000000002,-0.774,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,6,8,17,6,2,11,0,25,5,0,2,4,38,47,15,0,5,6,0,6,4,0,3,4,2,0,1,9,10,0,2,8,1,1,4,11,9,0,2,8,9,31,8,26,31,7,26,0,1,1,1,10,9,1,1,19,129,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823004667714096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574581974687624,0.0,0.0,0.07196001743925687,0.0,0.08468963648388092,0.0,0.0,0.11707978558633132,0.0,0.07913468479823893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730578004270685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049279089926743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216863267944062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863986927455607,0.10445576978941504,0.0,0.0,0.23589723074091104,0.0,0.0,0.10531698095394994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597162746401196,0.0,0.09115145481912504,0.0,0.0,0.13594774707168167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31221913956915315,0.2205658239414216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514254061794147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230990534646325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048194657793553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187491955544878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056558965397785925,0.0,0.0,0.1089713022782001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011147633990265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22862900230485206,0.0,0.207426661747668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079373793064789,0.0993951976553612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973734079346712,0.0,0.0,0.24149533263725104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134776396318544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030121911745813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368304125049465,0.0,0.0,0.08200931120246124,0.0,0.10736197911248427,0.0,0.0,0.1702634171316898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719888698811576,0.07922839662632956,0.0,0.0,0.07284321657685476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837163666737535,0.0,0.0,0.08170239725323905,0.0,0.0,0.09755064974663273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888484550156303,0.0,0.0,0.06070147500835744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118346277219665,0.0992056382526487,0.0,0.22476833964837867,0.0,0.0,0.0731073111061708,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lancaster19,2019/01/02,My goals for 2019 So I have had a shitty 2017 and 2018. My goals for 2019 is to get medication and therapy for what I suspect is my panic disorder anixety disorder plus get therapy as well. I also need to get medication for what appears I have is ocd intrusive thoughts and therapy as well...when that’s underway I plan to go to job corps to have a peaceful place to stay cause things have been in disarray at home. After a year I could have career experience plus I will have 7 grand saved in total for a place plus I will be able to get my first real job to sustain myself at my place and pay bills... then I want to start going to youth groups to get good friends people I can spend the rest of my life with and maybe get a girlfriend in the process!!! Wish me luck.,2.2371428571428567,4.106510535031852,3.7402593266606026,88.22065286624206,77.40764331210191,7.543039126478617,23.953139217470433,8.418075326091056,1.4235954504094637,602,20,130,12,14,199,90,157,0.098,0.7509999999999999,0.151,0.8322,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,3,7,0,1,7,0,16,3,0,1,1,21,30,13,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,0,4,9,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,1,1,1,3,0,18,6,29,23,2,18,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,2,6,86,22,7,0.12260688626283173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804868264773857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595104581311614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978916220677358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28103622763936603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993306118198405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428935482140778,0.0,0.0,0.09472577618713238,0.0,0.3843422259582975,0.0,0.13936063787993996,0.1028368391529447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298470367608168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433368321259087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866008696838365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317509673660025,0.0,0.0,0.2470270780223317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909114526176749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438527639000312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850001772879655,0.0,0.3842943017974393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955347863051168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678178515101265,0.13068262739087347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4206349792129168,0.0,0.08145456725446898,0.0,0.0,0.09733617237059444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231671815270478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22047663049076985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099186836791114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895481492859595
mentalhealth,AnxietySucks__,2019/01/02,Gabapentin instead of SSRI’s Is Gabapentin really a safer and effective alternative for anxiety than SSRI’s? I know a few people on it for anxiety who think it’s amazing. I could easily get it prescribed since they prescribe it first line at one of my family members doctors office. What do you think?,3.17625,6.225134125000004,4.597857142857143,76.34714285714288,82.75,8.200000000000001,29.42857142857143,8.841846274778883,3.3833142857142864,245,12,39,7,7,81,43,56,0.057,0.7240000000000001,0.219,0.8914,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,6,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,1,7,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,28,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4865102481195309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25388250669164386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254677358453777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997648396135433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704750648119043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661323098828283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17475442200790908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154726239601264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22044846763465173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037072143101853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26303774159122745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074996574480849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peace_dabs,2019/01/02,"Alone  I don't understand why people don't talk to me. Currently my spouse is downstairs in front of TV. He's barely spoken today. Idk why, he's just quiet. I thought I had friends but apparently not. I don't need therapy, I need friends. I'm so lonely almost all the time. We even went to a party for new years. I didn't make one friend. No one said more than hi before they walked by, even after saying hi first! My feelings are hurt because people don't like me, they don't even give me a chance. It makes me feel unworthy of friends. If you asl people who know me they will try you I'm a great person. But they are no where to be found in my everyday life. They just happen to know me.
 I just want people to talk to ",0.3312461300309621,2.475334802631579,2.181269349845202,95.34917956656349,85.84210526315789,5.155417956656347,17.493808049535602,6.522977012572876,-0.23911424148606786,558,13,127,6,17,184,93,152,0.161,0.6970000000000001,0.141,-0.3306,2,3,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,2,5,1,8,8,0,0,4,0,12,1,0,2,1,22,30,4,0,4,7,1,2,1,4,1,1,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,1,0,3,9,2,0,3,6,5,24,6,14,22,2,14,0,2,0,0,24,3,0,2,9,75,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560272709297622,0.1402534090749271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825502627834481,0.0,0.11523173073625845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683292332629438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136943991979234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518746798589885,0.0,0.14848011881343048,0.41849802717371704,0.0,0.0,0.12990639742605026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493001015423585,0.0,0.0,0.11975071561504455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496901116886526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488456572100567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565055725333003,0.06615896109979277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807866811742171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008231819226942,0.0,0.13078866820214924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18352705445513068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37553037764669095,0.11824278681152547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288146314652351,0.10769075104945447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768958181686845,0.0,0.0,0.15486361091154954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075076862639319,0.07896400098099703,0.0,0.12836152916416327,0.0,0.0,0.091940720228527,0.0,0.0,0.1409761209678427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798737289277969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553491766556574,0.2443894568914644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872054988977009
mentalhealth,ScribbleBats,2019/01/02,"Psychotic episodes after a break up Hi guys, I'm lost for help and I thought I'd come here on a community that could share some advice.

I recently had my heartbroken by the man I thought I'd spend my life with, which I know for people is a terrible experience, but I struggle with psychosis - personality disorder, major depression, anxiety, paranoia - should I carry on? 

I'm a very easily influenced person, so when he broke up with me, I lost it. Self destruction, crying and screaming every night, denial, seeing things, hearing things - the whole package! It's been driving me crazy, I don't feel like myself, I'm now underweight, I disassociate constantly, my PTSD is back again. As you can probably tell, I feel like my life has ended. I'm always borderline on the edge and I used the suicide hotlines a lot, this has been going on for 3 months and I'm still not better. I feel utterly betrayed and at my very end. Psychosis is a cruel bitch, but so is life. Yuck. 

​

If anyone has tips, that'd be amazing. Thanks :) ",3.5515177548682715,5.912952273195878,4.914364261168384,79.02545246277208,75.23711340206184,8.228636884306988,28.30355097365407,8.998388855275968,2.6511681557846507,807,34,145,19,18,268,125,194,0.325,0.59,0.085,-0.9957,0,0,0,0,0,2,40.0,0,1,0,3,8,16,3,1,10,0,16,3,0,2,0,25,35,12,1,3,4,0,3,2,0,1,3,2,0,5,8,9,0,0,6,0,1,3,2,10,0,0,7,6,21,6,16,24,4,23,0,4,1,0,12,7,1,3,14,90,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485726796237552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631649561274296,0.13844085133710585,0.15525690110431611,0.0,0.0,0.09774518983029204,0.0,0.0,0.08934111628182065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824874045441448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130039039628524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100642187545334,0.0,0.13807608303601168,0.0,0.1020155028885152,0.0,0.1403514842182498,0.0,0.0,0.11004979084042417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643772105790118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263360408751082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076533762192662,0.0,0.0,0.12498548181143808,0.0,0.0,0.1938160067651712,0.18256060912510733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261574206191497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651431593954698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400827060225255,0.0,0.08564284284685035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022012061973792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27074731477836544,0.12484583871863515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27895634761002835,0.10862714028523658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019863491868576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990531687616145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088580980154202,0.2231310716872776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377597696390176,0.0,0.14935856866752592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615938327224335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181769917601577,0.0,0.13329400688697096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203884203094477,0.0,0.0,0.1335749814084128,0.0,0.1397617719383766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167831357163198,0.11763524221847645,0.0,0.0,0.1697720083804764,0.0,0.0,0.202873307518768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103539382039484,0.0,0.21085047549268546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265281597579182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525690110431611,0.0
mentalhealth,Gracious1998,2019/01/02,"Just rambling Not sure if anyone is going to read this but I figured I want to get some of what’s going on off my chest in writing, so thanks if you do take the time to read/reply, I appreciate it - I know it’s gonna be a long read 

So I’ve struggled with depression for the best part of 2 years now. It started when I was with my ex girlfriend, who also suffered with various mental health issues. She had depression, anxiety, eating disorders and psychosis which made her see and hear things which weren’t actually there. I loved this girl more than I’ve ever loved anyone, I had my life planned out with her, she was my future. 

I tried and tried to do what I thought was best for her, I was there when she needed me, I made sure she was eating, I made sure she knew I loved her and was there for her, however, she was struggling and it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t do it alone and I was spiralling fast. Although all I wanted to do was help I was pushed away and accused of not caring about her. I think this is what broke me the most. All the time spent, staying up all night looking up her disorders and seeing what I can do to help. All of the horrible things I had seen, self harm, suicide attempts, they hit me like a train each time. I fucking cared more than anything, and it angers me that she would think otherwise.

I look back on the end of the relationship and I feel incredibly guilty about what I did, even though I know to some it was a reasonable option and maybe the best thing for my health. After she was in hospital numerous times after attempting suicide, I told myself I couldn’t do this anymore and I broke up with her. I look back and ask why the fuck I did this, why I was so fucking selfish when she was in such  crisis.

As previously stated, I have struggled with depression for a couple years and I’ve always tried to remain strong, I haven’t let it affect my daily life too much, that is until recently. I’ve dabbled in drugs and alcohol for a while but recently it’s gotten worse - I woke up in hospital after a ketamine overdose after a particularly hard night, which to this date is the lowest I’ve ever felt. I’ve always kept my mental health quite private, my close friends know what I’m going through but my family have never had a clue, however, suddenly, it was all out there. My drug use, my depression, everything. It was incredibly hard for me to explain everything to my parents however I am now going to get the help I need. I’ve seen a doctor who has prescribed me some antidepressents and I’m on a waiting list to go to therapy. Since the overdose however I am at a very low point. I have been having suicidal thoughts and have begun isolating myself and keeping away from social situations which I would usually go to. 

I guess if anyone has any tips to deal with this shit until therapy is available that would be great.

If you made it this far thanks for reading, and if anyone else is going through a hard time, I really wish you the best. I’m not a religious person however for what it’s worth you’re all in my thoughts and prayers. Mental illness is like a cancer of the mind, and we need to work together worldwide to make it less of a taboo subject

❤️",4.75916163648558,5.451838583724573,5.559846858931369,82.29954225352115,69.2660406885759,8.840017885088306,28.985803711155825,8.976282227363876,2.192881779566287,2521,88,507,44,42,824,268,639,0.195,0.675,0.13,-0.9936,8,1,3,1,1,2,61.0,1,3,1,10,25,37,5,3,29,0,57,21,2,8,12,101,124,42,3,16,12,2,5,2,2,4,11,1,0,3,41,33,3,4,14,3,2,8,9,18,0,0,41,13,84,19,74,73,22,70,0,8,7,6,45,23,4,11,39,364,125,5,0.0,0.0,0.055049928132574144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028722126818025,0.0,0.058425769850723085,0.0,0.04511261804509891,0.09387852711940517,0.0,0.0,0.03836206215841948,0.0,0.043154989267604464,0.0,0.055945498550968566,0.1577781953666191,0.057800711807653476,0.04642223030991149,0.0,0.052737560547616566,0.0,0.10600177271136536,0.08675461876389799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23680345529403085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503149049700928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062418752485266175,0.0,0.0,0.05815824600235279,0.1943501281594035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930596976891254,0.05774002377811348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083991061541006,0.11544702136428098,0.04712494770256672,0.0,0.04996424597361794,0.05828862681334265,0.0,0.037259562602304834,0.1020556813899414,0.0,0.0,0.10139885091341508,0.0,0.05318016829585593,0.0,0.028523578181060886,0.0,0.054164320989811165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04358373457712325,0.156455823269834,0.0589458337431308,0.0,0.22442148839726675,0.0,0.0,0.06219437679937876,0.0621441256349388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160208704999026,0.0,0.0,0.17988980274458147,0.06358037038013414,0.0,0.113435227973466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588794221401826,0.0,0.05014153536790487,0.0,0.0,0.09300760140655692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057685043473216034,0.07969086072183773,0.055120061042002066,0.0,0.0,0.049922802795077575,0.14211549719770755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274196884315078,0.2135134138142397,0.037655416349694715,0.0,0.056673388582998134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705499397065972,0.0,0.05695999080008006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04146927594090837,0.12548624398965955,0.043508375466060775,0.0,0.0,0.10587759196956074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263879736332469,0.061088647269009234,0.0,0.0,0.049256741025579205,0.0,0.0,0.05332752908104204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600010553840987,0.2257088735616873,0.0,0.036138941291653084,0.05800088258275455,0.111399995039633,0.060565325417136835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990604494854483,0.0,0.05884996946274835,0.0,0.05790605859501787,0.04666455006536845,0.06340939819491938,0.0,0.05750488146425845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039928670340781625,0.06012763553178069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692206334988603,0.0,0.1851165600627696,0.0,0.15950279291181074,0.0,0.04241476773710158,0.0,0.0,0.10387309338177043,0.1290239681024285,0.0,0.1124327838380529,0.0722930027134967,0.055424456926774966,0.13435436706179388,0.1644713158217542,0.0,0.0,0.053904038109114684,0.0,0.11490003833943024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04872181461919261,0.06212979587455617,0.046545768762404134,0.06654646235317442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018060256535788,0.0,0.0648709613774004,0.0,0.0,0.04106857329396852,0.0,0.057488599020629125,0.1202202975858194,0.0,0.0,0.07265489576217929
mentalhealth,HelloiamFinntheDog,2019/01/02,Fetzima Anyone have experience with fetzima? I’m on Effexor but the fatigue and weight gain is too much. Wondering if fetzima users have increased energy and what the effect is on weight. ,5.907272727272726,8.77057063636364,8.366666666666667,54.670000000000016,69.9090909090909,12.884848484848485,35.24242424242424,11.855464076750405,6.0329878787878775,153,8,22,7,3,55,25,33,0.062,0.693,0.245,0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,7,6,4,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,6,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,16,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318707105302463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243800131416126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437728598745935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8076277744627828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3596188974140544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hsksd,2019/01/02,"I am honestly just tired I am tired. I am tired of staying motivated enough for my mental health to not go downhill, again.  
I am tired of being around people.
I am tired of my depression (seriously brain it's been like 4 years you can stop now).
I am tired of crying on my bathroom floor.
I am tired of trying to be better.
I am tired of trying to not hate myself.
I am tired of trying to stay positive.
I am tired of myself.
But most importantly I just feel alone, defeated and tired of life. Not in suicidal sense, but just.. exhausted. The worst thing is nothing is really helping, so maybe I'm simply destined to be tired all my life.",1.1241207349081357,3.575866818897641,3.2285354330708667,86.99566404199476,85.53543307086613,6.536272965879268,20.277690288713913,7.793537801064563,1.0213353280839899,494,15,100,10,15,167,70,127,0.315,0.5760000000000001,0.109,-0.9784,0,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,3,7,9,1,0,1,0,17,17,1,1,1,15,21,4,1,0,8,0,1,1,0,0,16,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,1,18,3,18,17,4,11,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,72,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018126114215899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603227742324151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599302087508093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564508796924163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443365629607505,0.0,0.0,0.05836353176096984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001652439423395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034262632638790085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03851085164098467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669011988923061,0.0,0.0720281093741417,0.0,0.0,0.045419611799533285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572497069789997,0.03310521545581838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807629397296197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828841614987029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501971214689911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04697781621542682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04341023631645425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445109758581068,0.0,0.056652280171284826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412090975550124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501823187290386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9345929398757394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801837128627642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04363667116214078
mentalhealth,bob124754,2019/01/02,"Have i ruined my life? Hi there seeking some advice as i feel i may haved fuc*ed up my life.

Long story short im 28 just had a baby with my partner and now ive just lost my job. My career was on travk and going well but i made a messed up mistake now i am paying for.

Have completely messed up my life as i am deeply depressed and cannot seem to think possitively about the future.


Thanks

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mentalhealth,TazxDing0,2019/01/02,"Problems with my concentration Some days i start to think like i have something , i have diagnosted with schizofrenia but , then other doctor say i just haved a bad time , and just like that , i became cured xd , i never thought i haved but , i just. Feel diferent , like sometimes , im missing information you know? Like people say like things underline, like subliminal shit to me.. I the worts thing is when i really start thinking about it , i start remember other people talking to me about this subjects , for example, i have really issues to focus , meditation is almost imposible , i have so really bad nights when my head is just out of control, i never hear or see anything like, i know its all in my head , but i start thinking like really fast , i have flash backs or imagine when like you day dream but  like crazy , and i have to stand up , calm.down , and during the day i think this is why i feel like im missing information, and this is fucking with my every day life , do you have some advice for being more, like, present,? meditation i know helps but is really dificult for me like i said , i will still keep trying tho ,do i need some medication to stop getting like triggered and distracted all the time, i would love to know your expirience if somthing similar happens or happened to you , thank you , have a nice year and srry for bad eng.",5.219675010979362,6.589677873517786,5.796014492753624,78.54252415458939,68.68379446640316,8.942380324989019,29.47057531840141,9.2995712137729,2.5601877031181384,1054,39,195,21,18,341,127,253,0.124,0.647,0.229,0.9853,1,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,6,0,1,13,26,2,1,5,0,21,8,3,2,4,53,49,21,0,4,13,0,2,14,0,2,3,4,0,0,10,10,0,3,15,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,2,7,38,17,21,44,6,27,0,2,1,2,15,3,2,8,37,130,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826964193730624,0.0,0.0,0.08474160795293365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964072139159791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507285619882178,0.2119797597173861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949162552861368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183093771837447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661920985337307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130180639093588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557979864119586,0.06045746851421161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823619794287277,0.044214058194704704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967056212336285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370321198739724,0.0,0.09538065771631314,0.0,0.056723621811896524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18282313069467693,0.08832848843299264,0.0,0.0752202699308411,0.0,0.0,0.18603490651250645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597744764947369,0.5788219462833644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637907403412643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525269043323111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627497680731935,0.13053895229958626,0.0,0.0,0.07941660530678113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733926270941986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097650647922743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710707698744477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958657715461622,0.0,0.08049955360222248,0.13459740229756104,0.0,0.0,0.06743667619891684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868682884596389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514991591453327,0.08369816003686896,0.0,0.23959739876139816,0.0,0.06758314522367616,0.07075187100675719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801989013508067,0.0,0.07791307212073822,0.0,0.0,0.11244469330427456,0.21690198109493866,0.0,0.06718429928815932,0.0986932424882378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05745610457505136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636260710865735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06011651597303449,0.0,0.0,0.05449694381044445
mentalhealth,holdenducks,2019/01/02,"fear of attachment and depression I'm not sure if this the right place to post this, but I'll give it a shot. There are this aspects of my personality that now that I acknowledge I feel are ruining my life. I have a tendency of ruining every relationship I have kind of just for the hell of it. I keep either running or pushing people away, and I dont know how to stop. Even when I think Im doing shit right I end up realizing Im again repeating myself over and over. I have to say, before I go on, that I have a depression history. I felt really blue since I had conscience. I've been depressed my whole adolescense and even further. I was so mistrusting, everything seemed so dark to me. Had many shitty relationships and got fucked over a lot by people I cared about. My depression, I never acknowledge it until it started going away. My perspective of life and reality was changing so much. The way I felt, how more physicly lighter. This is the only reason I got to realize about my it, while it faded away. This wasn't long ago, maybe 2 years (I'm 21 now). I was living abroad. I left out of desperation. I had to leave my reality some how, and since I had the means I just went far away, inst ead of the only other alternative. While I was there, after feeling very lonely and hopeless, being at my lowest, considering to leave this world for good, I ended up surrounded by people who made me feel good, people I cared about and that cared about me. They made me feel I was worth something. Loneliness had always been heavy on me. I came back home so I never had the time to fuck that up. But since I came back I do nothing but ruin things for myself. I get scared of loving the people I love. Some people I'm scared I'll hurt so I run away, some other people I'm scared they will hurt me so I hurt them first. When I'm sensing I'll get hurt I get obscure and out of control and I do fucked up shit. I start drinking a lot. I'm probably one of those people that people refer as ""toxic"", but I'm truly just so caring. I feel so lonely but I keep pushing everyone away. It ruins me. I usually just feel happy when there's someone I feel are special around me, but it scares me and it makes me feel my happiness isnt real, and that it wont last. I even feel it kind of extreme, maniac. I have a therapist, and she helps me acknowledge all this things, but I'm so tired, I dont think I have the energy to keep trying. The road seems so long, and the finish line so far away. I really try, and when I feel I'm making the right choices I end up realizing I am totally not, and then it is too late. I get so obscure and angry and sad. And my drinking is gets heavier. How come I feel so broken and fucked up? my family is alright. I have two very loving parents, two sisters that are just not fucked up at all. But me, I've been always so sad, always seemed everything so upside down. How did I turn out like this? How do I go on? Is it possible that feeling shit is my comfort zone and maybe why I keep going back to it?  
Sorry for the long post, I really want to hear from you.",1.3623403294967251,3.436297971563981,3.4840216655382537,87.97979462875202,81.13270142180096,6.673076055066577,20.79011509817197,7.793537801064563,0.8682162491536896,2388,68,506,42,63,813,249,633,0.237,0.647,0.116,-0.9985,2,4,3,0,0,1,80.0,0,1,3,2,50,50,10,5,19,1,44,16,3,12,6,108,115,62,0,2,19,2,14,1,0,2,3,2,1,1,37,29,2,6,29,2,1,12,10,32,0,4,25,17,88,18,64,87,12,89,1,17,1,8,18,38,9,12,37,351,125,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04281760891309402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057565381515678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042999824313411185,0.0,0.0,0.31767517058817035,0.11142585210819132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04110221261672961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049130555523792,0.1969921145491553,0.0,0.051098066439511015,0.04160867374184987,0.0,0.0,0.05417581278366111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641287765464371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322128471052392,0.0946369112986199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283461044928347,0.0,0.0,0.09571083525683108,0.0,0.040697278906834285,0.046155493612980825,0.08682306891784347,0.0,0.045535677923572486,0.05435419467065725,0.2930807880234197,0.0,0.09275672321380128,0.0,0.0,0.0410864244569523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22327627653877707,0.12618136545427303,0.04633654578615822,0.109806611237209,0.08102836632721977,0.07726448786696326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283867646594216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0544408820179842,0.0,0.03237641757387518,0.0,0.04845174989912537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068370259416698,0.0,0.1043508477149568,0.0,0.0,0.17173535761708045,0.0,0.1006000804570049,0.026546012155832216,0.039373312694927415,0.054487778299105935,0.1022915993801827,0.05248124523840902,0.0,0.06823553748634244,0.023598358440432468,0.0,0.04265234813383687,0.12823964695665446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213080128645169,0.13078576697915498,0.09141074911345567,0.06448512541135902,0.04897156201171909,0.09705351645357513,0.05261602164424168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035508191370581005,0.0,0.07450835285734854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04634793798530002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032731297034851024,0.07347306840247574,0.0,0.0,0.053634657310374485,0.0,0.0,0.30138435816916137,0.042176231606254166,0.05046625269049546,0.0,0.0,0.0544542652768332,0.09252165747800437,0.0,0.0520786989134576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054979278252092895,0.09283222922503484,0.049663428928581735,0.0,0.1037184815282358,0.0,0.12375124523846345,0.0,0.0384124070532354,0.1934385289002444,0.0,0.0,0.13191944577163653,0.0,0.0,0.14874670681768354,0.11986998106532648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04092689280437538,0.03718593445155157,0.0,0.05407114508194321,0.06837808644904253,0.0,0.0,0.0403833896122497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552491425961679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056083393111479696,0.06418060462461501,0.06190109947332116,0.0,0.0,0.028165811071753144,0.055517081139171934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558900064804966,0.05253968773253058,0.09436983472348306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053198823265505776,0.07970990701942092,0.02849030356400193,0.03834059593767953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0447772748334689,0.04358585675255911,0.05392846599429837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031105485738516687
mentalhealth,warmfuzzies123,2019/01/02,"Words of love, support, reassurance during a trash time What is something, or some things that people have said to you when you were a having a trash time that made you feel better about things — not necessarily completely fine of course, but supported, loved, or reassured etc. 

For example, someone once said to me, “everything will be okay in the end, and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Which at the time really struck a chord with me. ",8.579457831325303,7.284489084337353,7.998885542168676,74.6725451807229,61.771084337349386,12.155421686746989,32.798192771084345,11.20814326018867,3.3430746987951805,346,10,68,8,4,109,60,83,0.046,0.6940000000000001,0.26,0.9604,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,1,2,10,0,0,7,2,6,2,0,1,0,13,14,6,0,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,5,10,9,8,2,8,0,0,0,2,9,2,0,4,6,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659233603950127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19670262455553145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323286644401783,0.0,0.2092316673047553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16860929272112418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485985885759364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33864572235921225,0.17751850916157086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19979559059860494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006324010806444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018600360824608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569148987985706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589590079002796,0.14442922106296652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4257889514562861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24927583157444635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32818587568372243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,myndfunerall,2019/01/02,"I’m afraid to ask for help I feel so helpless lately, for a year now I’ve been on a downwards spiral. I got a full time 7-4 job and I hate it. My boss makes fun of all of us, yells at us and thinks we cant do our jobs right. She can’t ever be fired because shes 60 and has worked there for 40 years. I try to talk to my boyfriend and he just tells me not to worry about it and that it’ll be fine. I’ve let every little thing get to me lately and I can’t help it. I have not been genuinely happy in over a year, I feel lost and I feel like I cant talk to anyone about it.",0.4004411764705864,0.7873028676470604,2.728705882352944,99.72217647058822,79.14705882352942,5.7341176470588255,17.276470588235295,4.935628992294339,-0.939388823529412,434,5,123,1,10,150,84,136,0.119,0.765,0.116,-0.358,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,4,0,0,2,7,8,1,1,4,0,14,0,0,2,2,19,25,8,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,5,19,4,17,17,2,16,0,2,0,0,13,8,0,0,9,75,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965850053412897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661396774228785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560151782922498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186083148188305,0.13213521729908498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23789240123593575,0.1120386865892008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193669253201949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254304976651553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669474130283392,0.0,0.1548361934884838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21023837889916006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112572158196261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35381994173019155,0.0,0.0,0.1603683032581376,0.0,0.07661873973359447,0.15718388322315152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119740644889098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468459179168586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393113020365227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25210645896907696,0.1370754801161733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419023539478003,0.10048970655610608,0.0,0.0,0.09144826549438154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647661325097196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772920137567864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417339781401414,0.159267487255672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029782502163022
mentalhealth,abbym724,2019/01/02,"Alternative methods to treating anxiety? Hey guys!

I've been suffering from generalized anxiety disorder and major depression for about 6 years now. I'm currently on medication and it works for me with minimal side effects, but I'm still not a huge fan of the side effects anyways. Over the years my anxiety has become much more prevalent and will often trigger a depressive episode if I start working myself into a panic.

I'd really like to have methods I can resort to other than medication, so does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks!",6.916517857142857,8.86861035416667,7.950238095238094,62.49000000000004,65.25,11.735714285714288,38.714285714285715,11.491704259439757,5.538028571428571,438,24,63,15,7,148,74,96,0.232,0.6970000000000001,0.071,-0.9208,1,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,6,7,0,1,5,0,6,2,0,3,0,13,10,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,5,3,13,8,3,12,0,3,0,0,3,6,0,2,7,44,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373712854295333,0.0,0.4513384335115607,0.0,0.0,0.1375108740758196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21719809300465154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387699540845599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253920687180907,0.0,0.17210053065864894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472662635055424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607928085862544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962332159986585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456944113665862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23074087151390035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598692471143155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919860970618705,0.0,0.15705479113444712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18106025145865576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863450376056351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25328818596079805
mentalhealth,NoMansSkyFuckedMe,2019/01/02,"Winter-Depression? So, last winter I couldn’t eat as much as usual, and had constant stomach pains and felt very unmotivated, tired and generally negative. The same happened this year, is there a diagnosis to this?",6.631801801801803,9.133588756756758,7.3983783783783785,63.98693693693693,66.83783783783784,10.33873873873874,33.954954954954964,10.504223727775694,4.308484684684686,172,8,26,5,3,57,32,37,0.305,0.695,0.0,-0.9141,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,4,1,0,0,7,5,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,3,2,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.331493489861034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642078803369189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138872414928413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945331824400773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712626883863045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500465020635784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255004326309021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32640925462820164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35257007839775306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378476120235622,0.253105238876523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19754034831076486
mentalhealth,cturmon,2019/01/02,"My brain is seriously broken and I just want some insight This may be kind of long, but I feel like it's kind of necessary to try to figure out what is wrong with my brain, which I feel is really fucking broken. For any specialists or people who experience similar things that can give me some insight, I'd appreciate it so much <3

I know the first thing you guys are going to say is ""see a therapist or psychologist because they are professionals,"" and I agree. I am currently in the process of trying to make that happen next week. I would just like some insight to prepare me/help me out right now.

For all of my life I've always been introverted. I'm very socially capable though, so much so that I have really amazing relationships with coworkers, superiors, peers, and friends. People who meet me for the first time just seem to really like me, and that makes me happy! However, it's not what I personally prefer. If given the option, I wouldn't hang out with people much at all if it isn't my good friends. I'm the quietest in a group, and rarely open up to people. Because of this I feel lonely constantly. I have tons of friends, but none of them know the real me because I'm too scared of losing what connection I do have due to my issues.

I guess to start, I get super fucking attached to girls. I don't know why. I'm a huge romantic. I've dated three girls, all relatively long-ish relationships, but eventually I get clingy and super destructive. I get extremely paranoid and assume that they're losing interest which causes me to accuse them of things which destroys our relationship. I then use that deterioration to justify my accusations and further demolish the relationship and ultimately cut it off to feel better. Rinse and repeat. This happens even with short term relationships. The saddest part is I really care about people, and I think that's what draws them to me, but my paranoia always ruins the relationships I form. I'm self destructive without meaning to.

I hate life. I was bullied a pretty ridiculous amount as a child, but I never sought help because I just assumed that's just what life was and that everyone went through it. Looking back I realize the extent of the bullying was terrifying.

My parents divorced when I was 2 so I've never know what its like to have one family. I've always had two. My step mom was fantastic, but my step dad made me feel worthless my entire life. I kind of had to raise myself.

I get these insane mood swings. One day I'll be super happy. I'll literally feel like the coolest person in the world. I'll feel like I deserve to be famous because of my artistic talent and uniqueness and whatever, but literally the next day (sometimes later that afternoon), I'll feel absolutely worthless and not want to live. This happens pretty much every other day or week.

My mood is about as stable as a bar stool with only two legs. I can be super happy, but if someone says or does something wrong my whole day could be ruined. I've got from super sad (crying) to dancing and playing guitar within minutes.

I also have anger management. I'm a super happy person, most people have never seen me angry ever. The issue is that when I do hit that threshold it is 0-100 REALLY fucking quick. I'm talking I'm punching a hole in the wall. Again, it takes **a lot** to get me to that point, but I'm really irrational when angry.

I'd never hurt someone else though. I hate killing bugs. Like if I so much as step on a beetle or an ant I actually feel terrible and my day is lightweight ruined. Odd right?

I also don't know what this is, but it seems like every day I have a different style, listen to different music, talk a little differently. Like I'm still me but like 70s rock me, or goth me, or rap me. Imagine going those high school phases you went through, but every other day. It's odd. It's like I don't even really know who I am or what I like.

I'll also change myself to make people happy. I think that's another reason why I'm not happy with myself. Well I am, but I'm not. I think I'm a really fucking **cool** person, but if someone I like doesn't like that me, I'll change everything about me for them to be attracted to me.

I'm really impulsive. I will jump the gun on anything if I think it will make me happy. I'll decide I love someone or something even though I know nothing about them or it, which just ends up hurting me more.

It's so odd. I'm such a pessimistic person too. I'd really give Nietzsche a run for his money.

I think about killing myself often as not to hurt others and also so I don't have to live with this broken brain anymore.

And you want to know the saddest thing of all? If you were to ask anyone I know about me, they'd say ""He's like the happiest person I know! He's always smiling and so nice!""

Ain't that funny.

Happy New Years everyone :) thank you for reading and maybe someone can help!",3.1052393288921816,5.082195823834198,4.750046262028128,81.46867659758205,75.21761658031087,7.5796940537873185,24.959597828768807,8.418075326091056,1.7563380212188495,3850,130,732,72,84,1297,364,965,0.156,0.633,0.212,0.9969,6,2,2,1,1,1,127.0,1,5,7,11,44,82,14,1,35,1,57,14,4,8,9,145,142,76,2,14,43,3,9,15,3,5,4,4,0,11,61,32,1,0,38,8,1,11,19,31,1,7,15,17,108,49,85,113,23,77,0,12,3,5,58,25,4,30,56,472,169,4,0.0,0.0,0.03737077612598569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249923708241255,0.12745932788750106,0.0,0.0,0.026042178169623082,0.04015605508880941,0.0,0.0,0.03797873625865423,0.026777026858273958,0.0,0.031513842706619506,0.0,0.03580101982893246,0.0,0.0,0.0294467908106356,0.0,0.1167225704407744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033869160107179316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282509596990505,0.0,0.0,0.039044702006236484,0.0393399141252883,0.08102288893305898,0.0,0.0,0.04138371152961382,0.0,0.030575752514544557,0.0,0.042065687322013184,0.17288150759826298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003159429085528,0.0,0.0,0.03351255355433879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03199088409889002,0.0,0.033918348559639565,0.0,0.0,0.07588123108224153,0.0346403723945251,0.09679655235045664,0.07318577185463547,0.03441742692008346,0.03746023939080993,0.036101485163442006,0.0,0.1742696969112227,0.0820747020619088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514807775305756,0.0,0.0,0.08876076915270044,0.14161388260593774,0.1000388025516169,0.07347285453976618,0.04352830491599866,0.03212035592936406,0.030628321456768588,0.0,0.042186689164344815,0.0379184565500973,0.10159345979583816,0.3261292350929338,0.0,0.07561753792873831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700577735882909,0.04046118173229815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298802000625557,0.0,0.0,0.07994087468848722,0.0,0.0,0.08473634943638729,0.11963626581409313,0.21046144642906867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819666496751326,0.2806378951518267,0.038382040993203116,0.06763106133718319,0.06778042951640592,0.03215848236906277,0.08568549088315995,0.0,0.03255737082778251,0.034563084314619234,0.03623602363444985,0.10224987985061848,0.0,0.03847286615771249,0.041714906011437895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044851097523217406,0.0,0.0,0.14075758859868515,0.0,0.11814306134836773,0.03698592596156186,0.08145516269761792,0.0,0.0,0.036745459205434525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05189989424412115,0.029125369488255955,0.0,0.0,0.04252249825700782,0.04147017513686082,0.0,0.1858444094281775,0.20062834274328786,0.0,0.0,0.03620152138691676,0.0,0.0,0.07792035743853815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03830575293036177,0.04358853735407309,0.2453300722188165,0.03937403865250693,0.0,0.24668950103373616,0.0,0.06540810704421456,0.0,0.09136209275188556,0.03834036572844734,0.038756978823179584,0.03051646743346772,0.06972536893360311,0.039950443323323995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03903732710016998,0.16223779690321344,0.05896332379830276,0.03787511957843655,0.0,0.027105673902427692,0.0,0.03058274764589835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02879336709980161,0.061560767200699675,0.0,0.035257249645588545,0.0,0.044463899005255485,0.1017670209950613,0.1226906969512801,0.11287507769638165,0.0,0.022330349670644185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052000111599409836,0.0,0.07481806230851455,0.0,0.0,0.03307492104623178,0.0,0.031597707082244755,0.06776283905188077,0.0,0.0614365032763733,0.0,0.034432154390402724,0.07100041974879717,0.06911126539191627,0.04275543494154276,0.0,0.03691538905234063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027203946061833267,0.0837399937514492,0.0,0.024660975373541026
mentalhealth,Samantha7586,2019/01/02,"Why don’t I feel guilt? For as long as I can remember, I’ve been able to do “morally bad” things without feeling guilty about it in the slightest. For example - sleeping with a close friends significant other, telling a big lie to a friend, stealing money from a family member, etc. I know I should feel bad or guilty, but I never have. Not even a little bit.

I’m usually a pretty emotional person and have no problem experiencing other feelings (like happiness or sadness etc) which makes me think that maybe this doesn’t have to do with mental health or being a sociopath or anything, but maybe I’m just a straight up shitty person with no moral compass. Does anyone have any thoughts /advice/experience",6.963759541984732,7.617348839694659,6.919914122137406,74.61590171755728,64.41984732824427,9.298091603053436,35.45896946564885,9.188382445141503,3.2711442748091604,562,25,96,9,8,179,91,131,0.192,0.6509999999999999,0.156,-0.7313,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,1,9,0,12,2,1,1,1,26,22,9,0,2,9,0,4,1,2,1,1,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,8,0,1,0,7,6,0,0,2,5,6,4,15,18,3,9,2,1,0,0,5,6,0,4,4,64,13,0,0.1473490253349325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002023900411332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302986454967107,0.0,0.12125569290002723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460605627635373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608669726027732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894612503815858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574782086519205,0.0,0.0,0.3286662264084844,0.09732264155196783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413562083875747,0.13890754735834587,0.0,0.2980163782087126,0.10526617314100316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276829829174156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685577741302836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566251235799721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097917081415862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719872908918893,0.14768243336349804,0.0,0.13039925061799748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983566185950007,0.0,0.29606380200809584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484931606769867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364465211757298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573189708112148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499069316964496,0.0,0.14099311732498654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669177217286561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745543903882027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878954281391994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789214504881523,0.09441530574175147,0.0,0.11697866707008912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228413409293013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295957668999575,0.0,0.0,0.14203920226064382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FeatheredDrake,2019/01/02,"Grieving my loss...of interest For the past few years I've been doing this thing that I wouldn't admit because I know how silly it sounds but it's eating me alive. I cannot bear change. I can't stand when my personality changes. Every time I go from one phase to another, I'll be struck with regret and desperately wish to go back to who I used to be. It doesn't even have to be a major change. For instance, for the past few years I've been literally grieving the loss of my favorite band. I have no idea what happened and why I lost interest in their music but being a depressed individual and having lived with mental illness for so long, I often find relief im things like movies, bands and hobbies. This band has been a huge part of my life for many years and I used to listen to them everyday...moreover than that, the time I discovered their music was the only phase in my life when my depression went away completely. So because of this, I kept clinging on them until I eventually probably burned out/lost interest in them and I've been regretting this for almost two years, waking up every day and wishing that I could go back and feel the same happiness I used to feel when listening to their music. This is just an example, but I've been through the same process with many other things. Basically, I find something that I adore, I invest all my emotions and energy in it, then I lose interest in it and I feel like I've lost a huge part of myself that I will never get back. I really don't know what to do. I don't even know whether me losing interest in the things I've adored so much is a result of depression or just regular change. Either way, I hate it and I haven't found a way to cope with it. Every time I lose something I love, I feel like I've lost myself. Nowadays I'm very lost and confused and I don't even know what I like anymore. ",4.739445181255527,5.180009915119367,5.685321618037138,82.27990108311229,69.21220159151193,8.935853227232537,27.90992484526967,8.959647251330699,1.9889930150309465,1466,46,303,25,24,484,172,377,0.177,0.643,0.181,0.4134,0,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,6,8,16,32,1,1,15,0,28,6,1,5,2,57,59,27,2,6,8,0,4,4,0,2,3,3,0,1,26,17,1,1,13,3,1,4,10,17,0,2,13,7,47,15,39,39,10,38,0,15,0,1,15,11,0,4,24,203,73,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498420157820483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852103413640098,0.0,0.0,0.07426351118474807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035475630074013,0.1727405090965023,0.0,0.0912955908422652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168638459964408,0.0,0.07851308029112611,0.0,0.0,0.059787738153834764,0.0,0.0,0.04829314294534685,0.0,0.1934890646721193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076623690773989,0.0,0.08423295217433978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837794008757732,0.0,0.18927569888492946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145176088463538,0.10699242356825438,0.0,0.0,0.13688285198728128,0.0,0.0,0.08210500922911575,0.0,0.0,0.0391231171127128,0.0,0.12767268256243464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621851928284626,0.07971402054116045,0.0,0.07393115762842603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453344713384651,0.08088615979993073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646142817854491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578372308447216,0.1463356078940814,0.0,0.06612279099868422,0.0662688280517974,0.0,0.2513237420764166,0.408716533149985,0.0,0.06758455523893911,0.0,0.0,0.15183859747272074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546414327639543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504739643807742,0.0,0.057754150230878314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050742451650260735,0.056951663373426324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218132136547586,0.14296800976289678,0.0,0.06538468031962888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073620971423373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04797177146205213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529671304919673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989949389161963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309941037451452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314951146911114,0.0,0.0,0.19402381524675813,0.0,0.061786065163765586,0.0,0.11887679449661882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941700785179636,0.067569984365332,0.0,0.1722228057875634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928880000647664
mentalhealth,BetterMyself42Morrow,2019/01/02,"Looking for insight With the start of the new year, I’m looking to buckle down and tackle my mental health. I know Reddit is not a therapist, and I plan on making an appointment and seeing one. But before I do that, I’m hoping to at least gather some insight into my situation and hopefully hear from people who can relate and their experiences. (Please let me know if there is a better sub for this).

For starters, I do everything fast. I eat fast. I drink fast. I walk fast. I work fast. I play fast. I drive fast. Everything. I can never take a moment to “stop and smell the roses”.

I have a hard time with commitment. Not in my romantic relationships. My relationships are usually pretty good, but if somebody “burns” me, I might be quick to “drop” them. 

Along with the commitment issue, I have a very difficult time finishing what I started. This is the reason I have pretty much no hobbies. As soon as I try something, I get bored and quit. Or I have a hard time devoting my time to even trying in the first place. This might be why I’ve never held a job for longer than 2 years.

I always have anxiety. It’s usually quite manageable, and I never really realize it’s there until I think about it. 

I’ve also struggled with depression my entire life. Nothing terrible, again mostly manageable. I’ve never felt suicidal to the point that it was a concern. Some days the depression is worse than others, usually it’s circumstantial. 

Other days I’m super motivated, and can get a lot of stuff done around the house. Again, usually doing it quickly running around like a mad man going from one thing to the next (and finishing them). Not entirely sure where the motivation comes from some days, but I definitely try to take advantage of it. 

I also find myself being very cynical of everybody/everything.

Some days I feel like I’m only depressed. Other days I feel like I’ve got ADHD. Or bipolar. I’m hoping that therapy can help me sort through all of this and help me tackle my issues. But for now, is there anybody here who can relate to these symptoms and have gotten help? What are your experiences?",3.297232894736844,5.686888657499999,4.7697631578947375,79.61428947368424,76.175,8.210526315789473,25.02631578947368,8.99025400887824,2.2645000000000004,1653,58,298,40,38,551,202,400,0.12,0.706,0.174,0.9741,1,0,2,0,0,0,57.0,0,1,3,10,17,22,2,1,22,0,29,6,0,4,8,68,59,25,1,5,11,0,5,3,0,2,4,1,0,1,24,21,2,2,13,2,0,5,8,9,0,3,6,10,42,13,42,47,9,60,0,3,3,0,14,11,0,16,46,213,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047641849095564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040874985380536,0.06264209759043346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759185049371311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403696878019014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406091277432334,0.0,0.0,0.0665823449065275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485027081357178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427589019973537,0.0,0.1945253094894062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704139789549426,0.0,0.07374939855992894,0.0,0.07703405454612512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049724196327489895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029804975443528,0.1472838754493528,0.0,0.0,0.07613143592565114,0.10756542930684454,0.07228419076170126,0.0,0.06880796904915552,0.06403630573100445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866528764751801,0.0,0.04278548097948224,0.06314442431526399,0.0602112794261552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348788769671819,0.0,0.0,0.0800230888775175,0.08485023973847583,0.0,0.15138330007817333,0.0,0.0,0.22432120400888533,0.0,0.08686732131529099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715331805674435,0.07470748958181374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827479427970612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698271870332025,0.05317512776967211,0.11033948919731262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643875183155476,0.0,0.0,0.06400353852428804,0.0,0.0,0.0502524770714772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586829700722085,0.15972828969134872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553422067900772,0.0,0.2322538272020106,0.0727094994758372,0.08006510524600348,0.0,0.0,0.07223677324216747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202841311207717,0.05725667216607613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219226208967225,0.0,0.0786554787645888,0.0826389327146215,0.07116746253810377,0.0,0.0,0.1531812450558204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014703605731334,0.0,0.0,0.04822868778772594,0.07740421709980495,0.0,0.1616531124546124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999138902630372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846220713459775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579570965083021,0.0,0.0,0.1065724288989819,0.0,0.0,0.06294057265493468,0.0,0.07870290468851028,0.08618186402081944,0.08234818601494923,0.0,0.07095402840325014,0.07824862531317901,0.1132079976705932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860935109377812,0.08741021773461041,0.05001516771127944,0.048238776960405134,0.0,0.0,0.17559420297984082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533381410138327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316575882361216,0.12423392989656623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679318603515609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054807455019154655,0.0,0.07672055667441674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096960512918325
mentalhealth,nerdie11,2019/01/02,"HELP! What do I do about my mom’s mental illness? She doesn’t think anything is wrong with her. We have a toxic relationship. My mom’s mental instability started when I was in 6th grade. She got fired from her job and everything went down hill from there. She’s never been diagnosed but judging by her symptoms I believe she is schizophrenic. I know 100% she is depressed.

My parents would fight constantly. I remember I would cry at night almost everyday and barely get any sleep. My mom would fight about the most random things. Sometimes she would talk and talk and talk and all of it wouldn’t make sense. It’s like she would make up problems in her head. She was also very paranoid, maybe now so much now. Didn’t trust cell phones or computers for example. She would sit on the couch almost all day. Now she does a lot of knitting. 

So of course it was very hard on me growing up. I started hating my mom. Started getting depressed when I was a teenager. I just wanted to get out of that damn house. I’m now 29F. Have my own house and it’s been a few years since living at my parents.

Now I’m living with guilt. I feel like I need to do something but I don’t know what. I still have lots of hatred for my mom. She can be very mean and toxic. She has been on antidepressants before but just threw them away. I obviously can’t force my mom to do anything. My dad doesn’t help the situation. I have a younger brother but it doesn’t seem to effect him as much it has on me.

What do I do? ",0.8360479684982991,3.275940721854308,2.16741542867371,94.06100143189545,87.14569536423842,4.986719169500627,20.08269196348667,6.5153245180268975,0.1617996062287448,1166,36,250,13,37,373,151,302,0.163,0.777,0.059,-0.9871,3,0,1,0,2,0,34.0,1,0,1,1,16,12,4,1,8,0,37,6,2,3,4,48,59,18,0,10,7,10,3,2,0,7,4,0,1,0,11,11,0,0,8,0,0,3,8,9,0,0,11,3,47,3,32,40,9,34,0,2,0,0,39,13,1,8,19,171,58,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969316248598026,0.0,0.0,0.06376684300911888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05422490870994255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123596902959553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491693778907481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785158342497374,0.08983797442260502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616898191678353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758898890868648,0.051424730549985385,0.0,0.13735729213003656,0.08093289060022922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977969144074031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166381477834949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0403181772805057,0.056965194407765526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498021249561032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377415606768691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143002633326262,0.07872525224943193,0.08183469704648141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689406035145804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840150270693899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912814916777987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764437940057214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791239860219666,0.0,0.1408210981077994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558162834716564,0.0,0.0,0.1064521247875064,0.0,0.08010803250110751,0.08685859360844671,0.0,0.0,0.1607152898938851,0.0,0.0,0.5603325465856901,0.0,0.0,0.11723393246573155,0.05912508123775319,0.061499240526287975,0.0,0.0,0.07482917283316498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770803172519968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629896764477567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560929879551386,0.0903281670137058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259092808146653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596050433461369,0.08962940559015976,0.07979607789177742,0.0,0.0,0.06138658658604872,0.07886340720587294,0.0,0.16931794452528548,0.0,0.06367926247937389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287882420643139,0.0,0.19227233758037146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05297471074805141,0.05109320578647037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19737781964530185,0.04703182836168969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391838067786809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33986362019605065,0.08718152312313307,0.0,0.05134897432996704
mentalhealth,KrocusJok,2019/01/02,"How do I approach finding a therapist? I just got onto a new health insurance plan and wanted to find a psychologist for what I think is ongoing depression/anxiety issues coupled with  ADHD.

I believe need to talk out strategies to manage spiraling, anxiety, and  common ADHD compensation patterns. My baseline is usually pretty happy when I manage my stress well. I’m fairly driven in my work, but I also think my workaholism is to exhaust myself beyond the option to think about my own feelings of self hatred and loneliness. 

I have only occasionally gone in for one-offs (courtesy of my school, where consistent scheduling is nearly impossible). On one occasion, the psychologist said something about my fear of failure having validity in the actual failures I’ve had, so I never went back to her. The other one, although he was likeable, was hard to see because he was never available.

I just want to know what questions I should ask myself when I see a new psychologist to decide that I should continue seeing them and whether or not the relationship will be productive.

What has talk therapy helped you out with in your own life?",9.981584158415842,9.339349534653463,10.04641584158416,59.013188118811904,58.603960396039604,12.832475247524753,41.48712871287128,11.979248473330829,5.409370693069307,914,43,133,24,10,304,130,202,0.151,0.802,0.048,-0.9705,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,1,3,13,5,0,2,9,0,16,3,0,1,2,32,34,13,0,5,6,0,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,5,8,0,0,9,0,0,4,3,3,1,2,9,6,25,2,28,21,2,26,0,0,3,0,14,11,0,3,11,108,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.12185123645139274,0.0,0.3001294139853997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998553217929092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19104434754720911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673288554857884,0.0,0.0,0.09601427216028466,0.0,0.07611717499280603,0.0,0.0,0.1406812603833863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381618909613548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405090023927561,0.06313601828888922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282505847677088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986677363499737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132922214423145,0.1118554397332156,0.0,0.0,0.13272675449963647,0.0,0.0,0.08369507012146647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032769765015273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862310642485799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819657211401337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258658159042712,0.19260876540159969,0.2411927862842645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25383736735983625,0.09496624507565134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703364611175735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987853433630526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405939005744533,0.0,0.0,0.11877619179231845,0.0,0.0,0.1263710920748322,0.2985061864672706,0.0,0.13026250510069975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612797290970793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303361937537246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20072517560280528,0.0,0.0,0.14279519136958793,0.14497908881996308,0.0,0.2400273369896829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752229484397166,0.0,0.14729844332716294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226955982962374,0.11575206393617052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090395945864267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emdee2003,2019/01/02,"Mental health is really down no progress I dont know what to do, my mental health is very low, im having panic attacks frequently,anxiety isn't going away, suicidal thoughts are coming to my mind i am able to fight them but I cant fight for long, i always read this subreddit to see other people's advice and problems, I take tips,I try, but I fail, is anyone else going through something similar to this any advice (also I take my rage and anxiety out on food and I have been gaining weight and I am super demotivated to go to the gym although I loved the gym alot)",5.132807453416149,5.304085460869565,6.516273291925469,77.60521739130434,68.30434782608695,9.354037267080745,29.472049689440993,9.23628265651192,2.4358571428571425,448,15,87,8,7,153,76,115,0.21600000000000005,0.64,0.14400000000000002,-0.7398,0,0,1,0,2,0,11.0,0,0,1,4,1,10,4,1,3,0,13,5,0,0,0,13,23,8,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,2,3,0,4,4,8,0,0,2,2,14,2,13,21,1,10,0,2,1,1,4,5,0,1,1,56,18,2,0.14966269165132104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924973003015406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968520044192026,0.12453134868215585,0.0,0.0,0.10177576247527606,0.0,0.2289830989369189,0.0,0.0,0.1046476338335113,0.1533471139154213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702629177610569,0.1406130254009604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892115681724028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17540355998578286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502397457753972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18097272081420024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551702699305849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181688853647572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616613892302567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822507013140443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244677250116832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507642243692322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016495842875623,0.0,0.15111665453027615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559692202449553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375726610074497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320698352230918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970319250117994,0.0,0.09587775260407863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926178835209393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521765189074637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637066934287459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22505543674001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881545968626622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161114351415218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348739455738217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822488390674299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thatbitchrae,2019/01/02,"The struggle is real I’ve been struggling with my mental health the last couple of years. I’ve had my ups and downs. Every time I think I’m in a good place it all comes crashing down. And goddamn does it fucking crash (plz excuse my potty mouth, I’m battling depression ffs)

It feels like I’m in a really bad place this time. I don’t know if I can ever find myself again. I feel numb. I don’t have the energy for anything or anyone. 

I don’t know what to do. 

I don’t know what would help. 

I can’t talk this out because it doesn’t feel like enough. 

I don’t feel like enough. 

For anyone. 

I don’t feel like a good friend. I don’t feel like a good daughter. I don’t feel like a good sister. 


I feel like a burdon. 


I don’t know how to fix this. ",-0.6410784630287374,1.347886803680982,1.5103907006780766,99.51387148853728,88.93865030674847,4.167775266386826,14.71391669357443,5.399115186594226,-1.0772871165644171,571,10,139,3,19,190,81,163,0.14,0.627,0.233,0.9096,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,3,19,2,2,9,0,18,4,1,1,2,26,36,5,0,2,2,2,8,7,1,1,2,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,14,0,0,1,11,7,0,0,2,8,18,12,12,33,3,15,0,1,0,1,6,8,1,2,13,76,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883858460643045,0.0,0.08169946088590448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828951401879241,0.06052052215279478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552143169718489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985207718742801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551022100687165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688110757512829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20516676405411816,0.0,0.0,0.0898049716077692,0.0836481734526291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015939681264428,0.4964824803370707,0.0,0.0,0.09074065461000133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670393246024358,0.0917832995691338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33308737208886185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553061758693737,0.0,0.0,0.0665456823094742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182480489046909,0.08092692627557499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395243473596919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005147702678363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074541577201061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300303919727492,0.06360168395194536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757924379491946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797979722568614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361498906973963,0.0,0.0,0.11578261315000805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052607794968002,0.0,0.0,0.06393344066909558
mentalhealth,scaredyk4t,2019/01/02,"I think I’m on the edge of a “break down” I got the okay from my doc to stop abilify cold turkey and I’m really feeling the effects today. I have been trying to not cry at work and have been feeling super sick to my stomach.

On top of that I saw my ex (we had a really bad break up and I’m still super hung up apparently) on New Years very briefly and I’m extreamly upset about it. 

Idk what to do rn I just an all around mess. I’m so close to asking this new doc for a klonopin prescription even though it’s what I tried to OD on. I’m having horrible thoughts right now. ",0.06993230769230863,1.960310824000004,2.508800000000001,94.2017846153846,84.76,6.086153846153848,19.215384615384615,7.321109707123232,0.2884523076923076,443,12,106,7,13,152,80,125,0.146,0.72,0.134,-0.3925,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,5,8,6,0,1,7,1,7,2,1,1,1,16,20,6,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,4,10,3,20,14,1,21,0,0,1,0,3,12,0,0,7,62,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20168928437861602,0.2118060105168571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891708105036654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488690393150408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964285845705344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291143252536817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120328995051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4376323054830622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902843779577852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934837369814072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093366614899267,0.189416982086068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517255191586673,0.2225971960937457,0.17986587539875687,0.0,0.0,0.21475542459312613,0.0,0.0,0.30764308494367165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869383696483952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16494070974634298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589927421852267
mentalhealth,Stickstackpaddywhack,2019/01/02,"Is not wanting to help yourself a mental health problem or a character defect? I'm thinking of walking away from my current therapist, as I've reached the stage that I've come to many times before with many other therapists - being told that there's nothing they can say or do that will help me, that I have to face my anxiety and do the things that scare me in order to get better. That they can't help me if I won't help myself. I understand the logic of that, but I just can't do it. 

I've had mental health issues for 15 years, I've learned to tolerate and live with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, phobias, depression - not a good quality of life, but a life. I can't use the bathroom anywhere other than my own house, it controls my life - I schedule my meals and what I eat, when I go out, for how long and how far away from home - it's affected my social life and my career. The few times I've been in a situation where I've had to use another bathroom, has only reinforced my abhorrence. I've no logical reason for it, but I'd rather live with my husk of an existence than go through ""exposure therapy"" for it. 

It's not much of a life but I've always had a glimmer of hope, every couple of years I go back to the doctor thinking maybe this time it'll be different. After so many years of not being able to face the practical side of therapy, of nothing changing, I'm starting to believe maybe I don't want to be or simply can't be helped. If I can't face the practical side of therapy, what else is there? 





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mentalhealth,soybean_nick,2019/01/02,"new to therapy..? hi y'all. im fifteen, and a female. ive been suffering from things since childhood, but finally worked it out with my mom to try out therapy. so i am new to how mental health is treated and unsure of how things work. i have a few questions. firstly, what is the difference between a therapist and a psychiatrist, or are they just the same thing? is the therapist im seeing able to give me a diagnosis or do i need to see some other doctor + how soon can i expect a diagnosis? and finally, being a minor, what things can't i say in a therapists office/what things will definitely make the therapist report what i said to my mom? can i discuss self harm and suicidal thoughts? 
sorry if any of these are stupid questions. ",2.1783678160919533,4.576745503448279,4.37448275862069,80.91712643678163,80.17241379310346,8.004597701149425,26.218390804597703,8.841846274778883,2.4090597701149434,578,24,110,15,15,199,92,145,0.159,0.816,0.025,-0.9638,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,3,6,4,1,0,12,0,15,2,0,4,0,24,22,13,1,3,5,2,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,11,8,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,4,13,1,14,17,3,10,0,1,2,0,12,3,0,6,7,83,24,4,0.11081293692512044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535659704660441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577593375539574,0.0,0.11342173648904592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427803118158084,0.0,0.09425742753969238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630186648279646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778897010486016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393939749491557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739684958740751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116733769396008,0.0,0.0,0.2595655448742342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216638862435141,0.0,0.21404765000279555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24827170017625705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540847892301057,0.0881228951484691,0.0,0.0,0.17660712746002513,0.0,0.11560206061644142,0.0,0.0,0.09166560653375333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404601049890218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121136732862925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534485016341787,0.5146494427057287,0.368095956865057,0.0,0.0,0.08797309399337662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523471021993823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134627571439347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UnidentifiedWiseMan,2019/01/02,"Need help, I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to feel happy and alive...  

Hi I am 22 years old guy, need some help

For the last 2 years I have been feeling tired for no reason at all, it first started about when I left my ex in the winter of 2017, starting feeling tired and less motivated generally, some time after that I had a trip for 1 month which made me feel not tired and took the big black circles around my eyes away. as my trip was ending I felt ready to go back home and back to my job, but shortly back still in the winter of 2017 my black eyes came back fast and the feeling of being tired as well. For the whole year including the summer I was feeling tired but nothing too alarming. Beginning 2018 in the winter I was getting worse black eyes than in the summer (Maybe because I was less tan) and more tired again, getting easily frustrated and working for me became really hard because I worked in customer service and dealing with customers was always pissing me off, I had low patience and wanted to just feel more awake!.... time passes by, I meet another girl this is in the end of winter 2018, I was feeling more happy and seeing maybe it will help me feeling less tired. I can say at first I felt a bit less tired but got worse and worse into the summer of 2018, as December of 2018 approached I was feeling very tired, easily pissed off and just not motivated for nothing. I made a lot of money as well in 2018, would make anyone happy with the amount I made but for me it is like it changes nothing in my life.

I am a lucky guy, I always have chance on my side, I look good, and have a great family, lots of people who look at me would say I have a great life and be lucky if not very lucky to have the life I do. Although I just dont feel happy, I am not sure if it is depression or what ever it is. I am tired all the time, I can barley go out with my friends past 12-1am because I am so god damn tired, I go to the gym 3-4 times a week but most if not every time I have to drag my self there and then wait in my car a bit asking my self I should go back home because I am not motivated. and after the gym I am really tired like it really shows in my eyes. I even bought my self a new motorcycle last summer, not my first one I sold my last one and bought a new one, and I was driving it not feeling that happy. I have the opportunity to do bunch of things which I most of the time dont feel motivated to do as I have no fun.

This tiredness, this no motivation has made me nervous and anxious as well now, I have trouble looking at people, I dont know how to look at them in the eyes, I dont want to intimidate them or stare. I look around nervously, I cant talk to girls, I just go to the cash register to pay for an item and get super nervous.

Last month I went to buy new pair of skis and payed in cash. all 20 dollar bills and got supper nervous as I was counting the money. And even more nervous as she was counting because I did not know where to look or act! I feel like I know I am anxious but dont want it to show, which makes me over think, makes my heart race, sweat etc.

Most days I look at things but my eyes are just dreaming, I am not concentrating, just blurry, even when driving or right now when typing. Drives me fking insane! Why are my eyes always blurry now? I have to try hard to concentrate for them not to blur.

Most days I just do my tasks or what ever I do, I seem to do them in a hurry so I can just sit down or do something else that is dont seem to want to do as well.

I seem to want to be in tomorrows day instead of today because I am not happy, no enjoyment.

I feel like this might be depression but for what reason?

I feel like I cant talk to any one about it because I view depression as weakness. and I believe I was raised that way, hearing people and family talking about it that way.

I dont know what to do, I just want to be normal. please help.

I tried multivitamin, Vitamin B Sunshine vitamin, had 3 blood tests from my doctor and no results...?",4.897480124176575,4.220660883748522,5.822662729360694,85.26323919133796,68.86951364175563,8.740304384038769,28.01920698619419,7.915984808538092,1.46611034047601,3107,85,702,33,47,1030,296,843,0.15,0.6629999999999999,0.187,0.9805,1,0,1,0,0,0,86.0,0,0,4,12,44,44,4,6,33,0,77,32,12,16,6,150,150,61,0,16,39,1,20,5,1,5,19,3,2,7,31,34,1,1,34,6,12,17,27,16,4,7,30,44,104,28,102,110,26,118,0,4,21,0,29,37,3,25,66,478,135,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108327025818523,0.0,0.0,0.02481321471090957,0.038261039855106815,0.0,0.08244251848632711,0.03618647146551772,0.02551338495676073,0.0,0.0,0.06496443510888249,0.034111524239590504,0.0,0.03428184771666235,0.14028579678942338,0.0,0.15569999776241336,0.0,0.0,0.04110968559606936,0.0,0.0,0.07967128786944208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0417327591708335,0.0,0.0,0.0385996579567843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059557559126836,0.037617713023530897,0.09428165199769513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03734719998895862,0.0,0.0,0.2993471394753441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030481193653129436,0.0,0.06463539723658901,0.0,0.040693967682559236,0.0723002994261081,0.0660112984630315,0.03074286670778944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687956204668089,0.0,0.2951923353055697,0.07820149264517345,0.0700687528653013,0.0,0.0,0.09311048584879444,0.0,0.0,0.0281906785797776,0.0,0.05719070665212685,0.0,0.103685372326351,0.030604555543507495,0.05836586414480839,0.08045669802427431,0.0,0.07225807286591325,0.0,0.2330540867537232,0.06537248738191738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04112483252663658,0.043238670862053234,0.09782903591446043,0.0,0.07320124238860709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036208890004401126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002647517538403,0.11897095201821928,0.0,0.0,0.03964451605515759,0.0,0.07731804521179128,0.0891314121661121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144861792367012,0.0,0.0,0.06204189430781117,0.0,0.13810399865246167,0.0730684336302242,0.0,0.0733145654942905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038708194482237564,0.0,0.0,0.058249036847290526,0.0,0.0,0.05411104861051947,0.0,0.10572153944133644,0.0,0.0,0.035750670778867594,0.10503418296772356,0.0,0.03828820860072578,0.0,0.09890134465442198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0348320980467554,0.07588893246170045,0.0,0.0,0.04005306618512385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012579037005205,0.07503185553502782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031160707705613223,0.0,0.05803373304963921,0.0,0.0,0.029076356582506006,0.09965241034436398,0.11419539350982134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028090384835450698,0.0,0.0,0.051653045459105776,0.0,0.02913950894754298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03438967932403738,0.0,0.0,0.08798345463097967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848225302032497,0.023380153431515473,0.0,0.0,0.12765931267462854,0.5032535652442784,0.034586529691559176,0.0,0.04053971231532795,0.04954616029823786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602131423183881,0.15065172412542774,0.05792524031435214,0.02926861833435905,0.0,0.13122902919769347,0.033824909888808805,0.032924908506934865,0.040737751671644486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053127661532153266,0.0,0.11155372292324868,0.051840314601921164,0.0,0.0,0.07049157788628056
mentalhealth,Imlikelydrunkorhigh2,2019/01/02,"I very obviously cannot help myself, and don't know what to do. So basically, keeping it short and to the point, I'm miserable, not working, get worse when i hold a job, quit, always angry, everything in my house is being broken, i punch myself in the face on the regular, my gf is losing her mind, luckily i have her, or i'd be literally useless as a person.  


So, basically, I'm apperently unable, or i don't want to help myself, I'm not sure which.  


I've tried a lot of meds, and i saw one psychologist who was very unprofession and after two visits never saw him again. I used to regularly see my doc and check up n change up meds, but gave up. Probably the worst part, is i don't shower or bursh my teeth regularly so how am i supposed to remember to take pills. I literally go days without eating unless someone makes food on a bad week.  


So, basically, at this point, whatever's happening in my brain, it's made me such a useless angry bitter shite person, i'm either going to lock myself into a loony bin or off myself. But, hell, maybe you guys got some advice.",5.000114490161003,5.081809204651162,7.105581395348839,73.57590339892666,68.5813953488372,10.15026833631485,28.63148479427549,10.035473477838034,2.6743703041144906,829,26,164,19,13,296,135,215,0.206,0.7759999999999999,0.018000000000000002,-0.9905,3,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,3,8,9,2,1,10,0,13,6,3,4,3,32,33,19,0,1,11,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,6,6,2,2,2,0,1,3,8,8,0,2,6,4,25,1,23,25,5,23,1,4,3,0,13,14,1,6,6,106,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616519243631442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594524147866267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634629001411495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555381457632644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740731146697988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986525226919186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425835404623325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523326276584346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16849513024554358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280140770440015,0.0,0.1583846363632751,0.0,0.1114460019913342,0.0,0.0,0.1379723139629183,0.12322130176906805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867984838583607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607840882397933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382772648588783,0.12385521172372375,0.0,0.0,0.07657973294729703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558901195593071,0.0,0.11846515386835912,0.0,0.13185051514569662,0.09301309842860683,0.0,0.13998962119020167,0.0,0.3095591975096121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069756078592238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747056338752456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944229954854764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15089580496296565,0.0,0.0,0.24333934107844435,0.0,0.0,0.2634499464993737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502362325317877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482093311207462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784941270251676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103900339948768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806558751360835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132992466004367,0.0,0.10476922973630892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460532385095397,0.0,0.13611868891985618,0.0,0.0,0.12034834236621153,0.0,0.229946530460698,0.08218860993926544,0.0,0.11177322720971727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432249389327394,0.0,0.10144397859367496,0.0,0.14200328233183487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dogsrneat27,2019/01/02,"My eating disorder has been gone for almost 2 years but my insecurity had been coming back I had an eating disorder throughout most of high school (anorexia that turned into bulimia), but I got rid of it (as much as you can get rid of an eating disorder) almost two years ago. I started a relationship towards the end of my recovery (a year and a half ago) and that also helped a great deal as he was/is great and patient and supportive with everything. While I never felt good about my body I was able to fight off invasive thoughts and accept myself for what I looked like. 

A year and a half later, everything is the same. No eating disorder, same awesome boyfriend, I'm actually in a better place (away at college instead of in my home that was toxic) and around him more instead of being long distance. I would think that my situation would improve, but I gained weight. Not much, about 10 lbs, still at normal weight and healthy, I'm excercising more than usual, getting outside, eating healthy, all the things that should improve mental health. The weight gain just seems to be hurting more than it should.

I have never gotten jealous in my relationship before, I trust him 100%, I've never been jealous of his ex or other girls or been afraid of the future or thought I wasn't good enough for him, or anything. He has given me no reason to change this, but all of the sudden I am feeling all of these things, and it sucks. 

I feel ashamed of my body, like I'm not good enough for him because I'm not attractive enough/smart enough/happy enough/too stressed out and that he's gonna leave me, and it's not just him. I worry my friends are gonna leave because I am not as funny as I used to be or not as fun. I am a lot more negative and argumentative than I was just a bit ago and I'm not sure what to do. Every little thing my boyfriend does that I don't 100% approve of my brain goes into victim mode and I have to pause a second and convince myself that he did nothing wrong and that I'm overthinking things, and even though I can see this logically and on the surface, the bad feeling (that is uncalled for) doesn't go away. 

He is very supportive, and we've talked and he has been checking up with the insecurity thing every day, and he said I should bring up any anxieties I'm feeling that he might have caused even if they aren't logical. I bring up some but I don't want to overwhelm him or chase him away with this because he doesn't really know what he's getting into. I'm honestly just not sure what to do, therapy in the past has not been helpful and I've only gotten better on my own if I'm being completely honest. I'm kind of at a loss here, I really don't want to risk my relationship because of my insecurity and anxiety. ",6.6009817222536284,5.812978229508199,7.032083411845991,78.36426229508199,65.42987249544626,9.9767853778029,32.410087306073734,9.223106411051027,2.5987206959361853,2164,74,437,33,29,709,236,549,0.158,0.674,0.168,0.9229,0,0,0,0,1,0,58.0,0,1,1,6,16,39,5,8,23,0,47,12,3,3,8,98,92,45,0,10,26,1,8,2,1,8,1,1,1,1,29,32,8,0,14,0,1,5,22,17,0,4,22,11,53,22,64,58,18,53,0,3,2,0,32,26,1,15,24,302,82,2,0.061901956861519614,0.0,0.06040738043221424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646170494221514,0.0,0.12397173615533838,0.0,0.0,0.04950297253759621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04209545337438274,0.0,0.09470965513191153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05094003610848244,0.0551058655837269,0.0,0.0,0.17447677847763438,0.0475987838467451,0.05168554833290341,0.15093943339836505,0.0,0.052674005994597616,0.0,0.0,0.10949450086969484,0.06758090442651442,0.13751823855179898,0.0,0.06910305606372863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359036137556934,0.06548406245292078,0.053323054662351266,0.06490302403528911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03992164115456008,0.06381819941842222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28378002198935304,0.0,0.0541708195994418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31670577854903315,0.0,0.0,0.054826760305089886,0.3198063443702727,0.0,0.0817713173915486,0.0,0.10431013693067542,0.0,0.11126697473182737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519795733951533,0.0,0.05943558611020289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782529831676685,0.0,0.09702365265328236,0.0,0.035180308615557265,0.15576127349097535,0.0495086497535344,0.13649425194586082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589578414129828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579888547779279,0.0,0.0,0.08298315369405486,0.06540281607746312,0.06209270990916161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626732510698069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644613623415063,0.03401969661506328,0.0,0.0,0.13109046875874586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06048433866784405,0.062042023002809914,0.0,0.05478128388146263,0.05198205335745863,0.0,0.0,0.05262683008873845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238261302077546,0.06566819394494491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101012164732082,0.0,0.14322781579858826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060650774694383076,0.0593965971136369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04707922760219305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909242217673823,0.0,0.0,0.0646743697603778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931195731136964,0.06364552140999881,0.0,0.1993786065258627,0.0,0.0,0.058882936380792165,0.0,0.0,0.06264808513160974,0.049327845145258925,0.05635321665181984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958039310267024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04381452367420703,0.0,0.04943498271162702,0.0,0.07090848243999001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049121415015084,0.11668372352482848,0.0,0.0,0.0497544481208384,0.0,0.0,0.07079028248018193,0.0,0.2056245477742154,0.0396642744653942,0.060818358323041326,0.0982864784647344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733155347094799,0.06046921714757857,0.0,0.0,0.053463415682605785,0.06817626004037136,0.051075597308122125,0.07302275596264725,0.0,0.0,0.22613972091917464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286444198536463,0.0,0.08794674820103189,0.06768007229608497,0.0,0.15945132273376536
mentalhealth,PatientRemote,2019/01/02,"mental health survey hi everyone,im a bit new to reddit so bare with me , I'm trying to get some participants for my mental health survey for college, so if anyone is able to take 5 mins out of their day to complete my survey  would be more than grateful. Thanks :) 

**https://survey.zohopublic.com/zs/02CsGq**",4.848176100628933,8.141076490566041,5.443679245283022,71.76727987421386,76.54716981132076,5.79748427672956,20.154088050314463,7.1686216300943375,0.7592918238993711,246,6,39,3,6,79,43,53,0.0,0.833,0.16699999999999998,0.857,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,7,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,10,5,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,3,23,4,1,0.23884846726450684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700840181482127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26076066504217843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25042807364458003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403750194491433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478846603876435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077695032886177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257997331248431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4814061544871591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306813380430661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795843223243977,0.0,0.0,0.21989957835354215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216243084743998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696710982473965,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ythoo,2019/01/02,"Struggling to properly eat, sleep and just do normal things at uni Sorry if this is the wrong place, please redirect me to the right place if so.

I'm currently a uni student, 18, Male, and it's currently the Christmas holidays, and I just cannot bring myself to do anything. 

I cannot get into a proper sleep cycle, I go to bed at between 2-4am, I wake up at 10-12am, however I just dont want to do anything so I end up waking up at 2-4pm. I cant bring myself to leave the house and go food shopping, I haven't had any proper food in a while resulting in ordering takeaways instead of buying proper food. I've been having food problems since I started uni (am a first year student), I thought I was eating ok but I ended up losing 20lbs in 10 weeks (even though I didnt need to) because I guess I didnt eat enough. I am putting off my work and revision constantly as a result of having no energy or just pure laziness.

I cannot bring myself to do the simplest things like going down to the corner shop for a lightbulb, buying food, pretty much the only time I go out the house is if in going clubbing, since I enjoy being drunk way more than being sober at the moment. This whole situation has occurred off and on during my first term but I've suddenly taken a massive hit in these holidays.

I dont really know how to stop this. Sorry if this isnt the right place to post this, figured it might be mental thing (I've suffered with bad anxiety before if that means anything).",5.527492671487202,5.129441338870432,6.565128004690251,79.52997459448898,67.50498338870432,9.208598788352553,30.33046707054915,8.671277953709913,2.2527324995114326,1157,38,230,16,17,389,165,301,0.116,0.805,0.079,-0.7821,3,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,4,10,9,0,1,17,1,28,13,4,3,1,36,47,20,0,9,12,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,12,9,9,1,4,6,4,9,11,6,0,2,7,0,26,3,38,35,5,54,0,2,0,0,1,26,0,8,17,153,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580293996803206,0.0,0.06527954910422212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210665486040446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124953175422498,0.05201823478592772,0.0,0.07261213982990936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221471111077224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20001939637128666,0.0,0.0,0.2619510383846784,0.0,0.0,0.1511595068771652,0.08817185083013457,0.0,0.056361674229979765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451684961877172,0.5159253093246755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04458299623784868,0.0,0.242483691929014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400397427442404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969257635843045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046896812212031534,0.0,0.0,0.09035537802891508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04168941752141967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954658547544858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929527068664462,0.0,0.0,0.08599564308976712,0.09052488017708386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272960974023978,0.06327337476269287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360827033646452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489962920392238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674646227363148,0.09367006303528197,0.0,0.0,0.08172547294149025,0.0868143888653039,0.0,0.08165220364571506,0.0,0.08578328363576843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054666536422800574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574791560366834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117676028275133,0.09591792266396704,0.17078935150166166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910467246162464,0.06039917146113195,0.0,0.0,0.07134225012832658,0.0,0.08920863086035696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007445855142914,0.0,0.08383928762188961,0.06774490930500554,0.049758387243914695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033164334670985,0.06773340256275369,0.06844902489271297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527130206116087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212347616076193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329829354094936,0.0,0.054951685958704435
mentalhealth,spaceman019,2019/01/02,"Existential Dread/ Fear of death I have always spent too much time but pondering death.  However, since having children, the invasive thoughts causing low level anxiety is almost constant.  Sometime the finality of not just my life but the finality of the end of the universe causes me to have panic attacks late at night.  

To be clear, this does not manifest itself as preventing me from any activities that could result in my death.  

A bit about me... healthy 39 yo male.  Diagnosed with ADHD about 20 years ago but I have dealt with this without medication.  I am not opposed to medication, but the side effects were worse than the ADHD effects.  I learned how to turn my ADHD into a strength.  I am thinking having children might have kicked my ADHD into overdrive and might need to try medication.  

Anyone have similar issues?",5.945114155251138,8.347513123287676,6.370068493150686,71.06254566210049,68.45205479452055,8.976255707762556,34.08447488584475,9.516144504307137,3.7278968036529685,660,32,101,15,12,213,97,146,0.196,0.738,0.066,-0.9694,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,1,3,9,0,15,5,0,6,1,32,20,7,3,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,4,5,0,2,6,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,12,1,21,13,2,16,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,3,9,73,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5697131200732679,0.0,0.10505365359770352,0.0,0.11867255431638453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861139913973133,0.0,0.0,0.08059215966427606,0.0,0.09066128330125699,0.0,0.0,0.08286627984190068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482440140340873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938430645605786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434887450437892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280692676845798,0.0,0.09462211311425146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028708939345985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371056711221192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496637204700468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335884192186093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25964799924685583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369563894834712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368659138255254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370846364509589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581648300209753,0.0,0.25144480683970066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711988667319608,0.08787507624522004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112153950645633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904818624956405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803427287092233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721130484889415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759376437225411,0.0,0.09408521503286288,0.06910524512557382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046180448661884,0.1289069215982509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424124776342258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077375642667935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631778155559574
mentalhealth,g_fighter,2019/01/02,"I am just infantile, childish, or am I going crazy/schizophrenic? So, I am a 27 years old adult man. Maybe you  heard about that the children often do strange things to fun themselves for example mimic car sounds during running, cycling, etc. But what if this ""fun factor"" don't go away in the childhood? I often experience this thing in myself, for example when I am in late and I have to run, I often mimic car sounds mentally, or imagine scenes with cars from the movie Fast and Furious or planes from Top Gun. In these situations I imagine that I am as fast as a supercar or an fighter plane. I know exactly who I am, and where I am, I am not delusional or hallucinating but this strange fantasy often scares me a lot after the situation. Is it normal?

Secondly, my self-assurance is pretty low, because of this I feel myself extra weak to cope with some situations in my life for example long debating with someone else. In these situations I imagine myself to Captain America for example and during debating I defence myself with my ""shield"" on mental level against the verbal attacks. In these situations I also know exactly who I am, and I am not delusional or something like this, I just feel stronger myself if I imagine this stupidity. 

Opinions? I just should grove up, or I am a mentally ill person?",6.7015300546448096,7.345574836065578,7.728590163934424,68.62515300546451,64.98360655737704,11.096830601092897,36.75846994535519,10.93419730881044,4.3911801092896185,1036,50,174,28,15,351,131,244,0.13,0.7909999999999999,0.079,-0.9242,0,0,1,1,1,0,34.0,0,1,0,1,12,10,4,1,10,0,17,3,0,0,2,45,24,21,0,4,16,0,2,1,0,1,3,3,0,4,17,9,0,1,8,1,0,7,3,7,0,1,1,5,33,3,30,22,4,30,0,1,0,0,9,14,0,16,10,141,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972773708543567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187163855830034,0.11716585489431194,0.0,0.0,0.0760199204115699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417627258848604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908070393332805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219868790729157,0.0,0.0,0.12611069934948055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174714722564205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707085396444196,0.0,0.14067435549717314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808388373996084,0.06092529312125732,0.0,0.0,0.11036132167586404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602100047110534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252844335191493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770244398140015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218588506287582,0.0,0.0,0.13085848610474318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888889919387043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687133577829235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485295432668468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009606926824094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.700876613457333,0.0,0.0,0.10566340650104776,0.0960051506195836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569890483376068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030689257822328
mentalhealth,David1393,2019/01/02,"Post-therapy self-worth and career goals. A few years ago while I was at uni in Cambridge, UK (where I still live) I was depressed. I managed to graduate with a popular music BA despite dealing with depression and having a panic attack right in front of the uni’s arbiter for deadline extensions, thanks to two excellent therapists that I saw.

It might sound cliched but a little while after those experiences I had a complete reversal in my outlook on life. I went from feeling that everything, including my own existence, was pointless, to being determined to try as hard as possible at all of the things I wanted to achieve.

Well, a shitload of failed music related job applications and flaking bandmates later, I find myself dissatisfied with my professional life (I work in retail/warehousing) and still desperate to achieve my aspirations of being a successful songwriter and musician.

I’m really proud of my ability to write music, and i feel like I was meant to do it. Despite not having a band or much free time anymore, I still try to record my songs as quickly as I can because I’ve always got a backlog of stuff I’ve written but not recorded, and I want to be prepared for when I am leading a band again.

The thing that’s concerning me is that I get really frustrated with myself and go to bed feeling pretty shit about myself on those days when I haven’t managed to find time to record/produce/write anything. 

Last night my girlfriend said that I shouldn’t tie my self-worth to my creative output, but that’s basically what I’ve built my life around by this point. I spent 6 years of formal education on it, a shitload of my time, money and effort on it, and I only really feel truly pleased and content when I’ve just finished writing some lyrics or recording a guitar part or something. I identify myself as a creative person.

Is she right? Because in a way that would put me right back at the start again.

TL:DR is it fucked up that I mostly feel self-worth from creative output, or is it healthy for me to have focused goals?",8.107325581395349,7.465788330749357,8.116706718346254,71.33428488372094,62.33333333333334,11.150852713178296,38.471447028423775,10.467255456243755,4.090681757105943,1632,74,284,33,20,530,206,387,0.08900000000000001,0.735,0.177,0.988,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,11,15,16,4,1,18,0,22,5,1,1,1,45,42,28,0,4,10,0,6,1,1,3,3,3,1,1,21,16,0,0,8,4,3,5,4,8,1,1,12,10,42,9,54,24,7,51,0,3,1,1,9,20,2,7,26,200,63,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903096963475887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477159249333031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103671522171956,0.0,0.0,0.08383783834737857,0.09069401994459053,0.0,0.1159022112416414,0.0,0.07833875769496612,0.0,0.12420913670485062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681832313072337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570360669847929,0.10503290329571473,0.17549668034736274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156238740293564,0.09965733229483767,0.0,0.0,0.2575657309728638,0.07278246650669716,0.0,0.0,0.18623134718973688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418560843396773,0.05322763735839856,0.0,0.05790025394644047,0.0,0.08148204225836099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126368396040216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109931031422556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304508364525137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21588071450978166,0.049772993848922864,0.10210964680466296,0.08996113296042779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807765068709548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489287846591057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560665634648033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748366461355638,0.0,0.1195332008724692,0.0,0.11032516319031184,0.0,0.0,0.08895692137263607,0.0,0.11183268437098903,0.0963087023763046,0.1148534046346048,0.0975720387536512,0.10364769526392804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241665877317127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19579912670039004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610126455871269,0.09691037696162516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188464358753126,0.0,0.10457745669290736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843152698080663,0.0,0.0,0.07211056830118512,0.0,0.24408239996865855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662722255654848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379660944170214,0.11650765709116738,0.11828951523940172,0.13536792600488062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821960939736464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833847528220464,0.0,0.09952110048400699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018189380625625,0.08086690650907781,0.0,0.0,0.09160156762247876,0.09444296858544247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416921561052342,0.0,0.0,0.07237200659961779,0.0,0.0,0.13121363117176008
mentalhealth,UBER999,2019/01/02,"I think I have BDP. Any advice? Sorry for the long post. Im diagnosed with GAD. Im working with my therapist about my abandonment issues. I was tasked with writing a latter to my childhood self to kind of understand my past view on thing and connect. I watched some videos of certified therapist about BDP and it just sounds so ......right. It gave my whole life sense. Im massively sensitive. Anything bad anybody says about me hurts like a stab in ribs and I immediately get defensive and angry which I always regret. This explains why other children hate me when I was little and bully me. Whenever they would joke around I would attack them and accuse them of attacking me first. My skin is thin as a golden foil. Another thing that other children hated about me was me jumping from no self esteem to arrogance. They would call me ,,expert,, cos I would brag how great I am but I would be able to do anything cos I dont believe that I even can. Im also very indecisive. I try to evaluate as many views as I can but end up choosing nothing. Im also plagued with feeling of emptiness, like Im broken or incomplete. Even my first girlfriend noticed even thought I never mentioned anything. She described me as Tinman from wizard of Oz as not having a heart. All of this sounds very similar to BDP but I dont know if I should talk about it with my therapist or if Im overreacting. Thank you for reading this if you have. IT means alot.",2.03948252688172,4.662272602150537,3.416764112903228,86.09514616935482,82.83512544802866,6.354883512544802,24.84778225806452,7.6454224807358475,1.5653556451612904,1132,45,213,20,32,369,160,279,0.147,0.7979999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9682,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,4,3,15,16,5,1,6,0,20,5,3,3,2,49,32,24,0,10,10,0,3,2,1,6,2,3,0,4,14,12,0,2,8,3,0,1,5,10,0,2,5,9,41,6,35,20,4,17,0,3,3,0,19,7,0,9,10,147,55,2,0.07961052832889796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777944869053691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732902148425607,0.06624233703609947,0.0,0.0,0.054137889224990667,0.08347858032268628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965380446741764,0.07087024862486778,0.0,0.18113693784629728,0.0,0.0,0.06647146582063998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896938035157402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129125041447638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080301046537512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660589258638344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051129844270496,0.0,0.0,0.15774600940938766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0402534751518232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543334945500676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04159321524846581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777088853246418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719782981239838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943388593794932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522471712019589,0.0,0.6019512228132191,0.08309270811076748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290211445638401,0.04375186437438132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056231270521729965,0.07778736571677504,0.0797906638217719,0.0,0.07045281237384651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071258035899018,0.0,0.08671920397627818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140054728064037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638844903940002,0.09063711415747933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599725740897895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624487975647326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963207206848638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798695620834222,0.0,0.06330948745977459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610228691624734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911746865424841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398792707755202,0.0,0.07329467847344588,0.0,0.2773018781123563,0.10577939513167207,0.051011212020913986,0.0,0.06320186691083769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05405032296299561,0.0,0.0,0.08287736760645903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137404672068784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183611919126671,0.08888231182334468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057957412780253965,0.0,0.0,0.2827651759360241,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gargantua06,2019/01/02,"Should I seek professional help? Hello everyone. For quite some time I have been feeling empty, I don't enjoy anything anymore, and barely go outside my home except to attend college. I have been feeling like this for about a year, and at first I thought it was caused by stress and would eventually go away, but it has been getting worse over time. 

Some months ago my dog died, I miss him terribly and I haven't been able to forget about it and still have dreams where he is alive. He was one of the few reasons that kept me going, but since he passed, a feeling of loneliness and hopelessness has never left me. Now I feel completely alone and numb, and everything that I felt at the begining of the year has multiplied and can barely keep going, but I don't know if it is caused by some mental health issue or just loneliness. I have thought about depression but it doesn't seem fair because I don't have anything to be depressed about (I have a family, doing well in college, no economic difficulties) yet I feel terribly bad.

I consider I don't have anyone to talk to about this and keep everything to myself or in a journal. I don't know if I should seek help from a therapist or if this is just something what will pass over time.

Thank you for taking the time to read and/or help.
",6.69328969834946,6.466550386454188,6.634015367103018,79.432719123506,65.05577689243029,10.199317017643713,31.872794536141143,9.784248007369934,2.790386226522481,1021,35,200,19,14,324,131,251,0.234,0.669,0.097,-0.9925,0,1,1,0,0,1,25.0,0,1,0,2,12,13,0,1,9,0,33,2,0,3,1,48,56,20,1,6,13,0,6,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,11,10,0,3,12,2,0,7,9,9,1,2,10,6,25,4,29,41,4,30,0,4,0,0,10,9,0,10,15,142,36,4,0.11488691797133885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184032090162193,0.0,0.0,0.11898819893670345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393695159180375,0.08033160429945532,0.0,0.18908428898118665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079400412801498,0.0,0.09592577767629837,0.07003399885350826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360410236292321,0.0,0.0,0.12045674767786405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979038682065283,0.0,0.11923448254911916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977937349232207,0.2065059078428086,0.0,0.10830516158952007,0.0,0.29045138845976903,0.08207523715421612,0.11030945792710596,0.0,0.0,0.09772275373641158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002367285735208,0.0,0.26117153221270195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211942144904794,0.0,0.0,0.2310188382116805,0.0,0.1152409460319744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991209380371527,0.0,0.2042335428558902,0.0,0.0,0.12627769112915446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482497253044485,0.0,0.0,0.0561279449584164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577899162362065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170164183959048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860787369332979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785034891418609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219637897277855,0.11491800800295708,0.0,0.0,0.11812288606370434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458873527023063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503564575454372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884455623213136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174884109739312,0.0,0.13160257637379105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863806644610923,0.09234175282625584,0.0,0.10577243852378533,0.0,0.13339256667315347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18241475975195048,0.2679659430608333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032971366204127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707958447678607,0.08161237026013063,0.0,0.0,0.14796681691595456
mentalhealth,Main_man_Finnjamin,2019/01/02,"Someone has an obsession with me.Is it stalking? Ok so basically to give you guys some context theres a friend ive known for 8 years,he moved away so we keep in touch on xbox.

Theres a friend of his at his new school who I really dont like for many reasons.But recently that friend of his has been obsessing with me in negative ways,he makes drawings of me mocking me,he makes memes and posts about me,he keeps highlighting that I have aspergers and thinks im as he says ""retarted"" and that ""I should go to a ""deathcamp"".(Also I forgot to mention that hes obsessed with Hitler). 

Anyway basically he cant stop talking about me even though  hes never met me and even people from his school say its creepy and weird. 

I want to know if there is a mental condition for obsessing with someone negatively because its not stalking because hes never tried to physically approach me.

Also what could I do to stop this because this gives me serious anxiety and hurts me badly.",4.953431333064842,5.951082554973826,5.7703664921465965,79.86052758759566,69.0,9.437132501006847,30.922674184454287,9.661875296680813,2.823700443012485,772,31,151,17,13,253,113,191,0.149,0.764,0.08800000000000001,-0.8662,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,0,0,12,14,1,4,5,1,14,0,0,2,2,29,26,12,0,4,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,2,0,1,11,11,0,5,3,1,0,3,7,9,0,0,3,3,23,5,25,21,1,15,0,1,0,0,23,5,0,2,7,97,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169099323777097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037486429455166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741910327479644,0.0,0.11323672316122413,0.2480173963293604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828123616583143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894519203227928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915096828141228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31433816068181786,0.0,0.0,0.2601974067658268,0.07707575900651191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428475216731925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518361495251805,0.0,0.14649246889567638,0.0,0.0,0.2410899104790126,0.0,0.0,0.07453299987873717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625689901949076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18105430737585285,0.13749701477022475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667268527768192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441421999944683,0.0,0.0,0.20919643304169835,0.13098228022190975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402157280310576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988611330974645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688140537463351,0.0,0.13390801974055005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21570034048310271,0.0,0.2745086044917805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298201385970072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22676816053604665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900591847474313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689958048039824,0.13324559430401026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207682398114084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999196940073766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ezranichols,2019/01/02,"Overthinking everything I say I've been dealing with depression and anxiety heavily for several years. Last year I started medication and therapy and my situation is improving. 

Because of my tendency to isolate myself when I was depressed, a lot of my relationships are strained or almost non-existent. I'm trying to reconnect with my friends, but I often won't contact them because I overthink what I want to say.

I'm always concerned that I'll come off as needy, desperate, sad, annoying, or even manipulative. I worry that I won't be able to repair my friendships.

 I know there's no reason to think this way. Everyone I want to talk to has been my friend for years and knows what I've been going through. People have told me they like talking to me and wish I'd talk to them more.

However, I'm still overthinking everything I say to the point that I rarely text and have trouble stringing together conversations. Does anyone have any advice?",7.033231168831168,7.941975325714289,7.6065454545454525,68.86327272727274,64.31428571428572,11.620779220779221,38.19480519480519,11.389717465364855,4.845514285714286,762,39,127,23,11,252,112,175,0.17800000000000002,0.7070000000000001,0.115,-0.8934,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,0,5,9,1,1,2,0,13,1,0,2,0,23,26,11,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,2,1,3,0,0,6,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,5,3,24,3,19,18,2,12,0,3,0,0,16,2,0,5,8,81,30,0,0.13694880604987236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382478828601696,0.0,0.0,0.13713444704489913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395237737361015,0.0,0.0,0.09312988428857666,0.0,0.10476546178278638,0.0,0.0,0.095757789408414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696544211028094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796927013595895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118820563552426,0.23590761195540755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984482305596147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045339480098978,0.0,0.0,0.130860452992804,0.24616151273526965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21161261567585946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783116246461635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505269645686425,0.11163155524430253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690626908457661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642897756795248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379615143501225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494305865218944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12946088748316048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080618141070755,0.0,0.14703176603763504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32672156188033863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471316990850795,0.0,0.0,0.1539361959300997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693306979373603,0.0,0.1093674934154126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302227883229407,0.0,0.0,0.1566128949248232,0.0,0.0,0.08775126516633397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130860452992804,0.0,0.09297924975213782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155190805886005,0.10870358780016906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748436832768356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907816019688599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645716231594182
mentalhealth,Ken_The_Mage,2019/01/02,"I’m having a mental breakdown Where do I start

Almost everyday I have been having suicidal thoughts. 

Almost everyday it gets harder and harder for me to not think that way but I have no control over it. I feel like my life is out of control.

My mom passed away when I was 18, my dad when I was 21, at the age of 29 I was diagnosed with cancer. 

Damn!

Yea I know. 

I have been living in a 2 bedroom apt with relatives of 4 people, not including my grandmother, my sister and nephew whom likes to spend the weekends here. Which is great I’m always surrounded by my family but the down side is I get no privacy, no peace and quiet. There is always fighting, and arguing, everyone is tired of each other. Anything I do or say can trigger anger, my aunt the biggest fucking gossiper in the whole world, anything I do she goes and tells everyone. Like wtf I’m not a celebrity I don’t want people in my business. 

I can’t afford a place of mine own because I don’t make enough money and everything is so expensive. So I’m stuck here helping with the bills and paying for school.

Work is stressful ass hell, between having to deal with my boss always upset and screaming at people and having to deal with customers yelling and screaming too. I decided to go back to school because after my chemo “break” I felt like I lost purpose in life. I thought I was going to die in the process, so what was the point.

I barely talk to anyone and vice verse, I don’t go out as I use to. 

People take advantage of me, they always treat me or talk to me like I’m a failure. I haven’t failed anyone it’s just life had it’s way of failing me and I don’t know how to pick myself up. It’s like the universe doesn’t want me. Not only did it take my parents away but it stole my life too. 

My family has treated me like I should have known how to be an adult once my mom died, I had to live on my own for a while, been from place to place, when the truth is I’m still young and lost, I haven’t had anyone guide me, or support me. I had to figure everything out on my own, It’s been dark and lonely, I feel so alone and unwanted. ",1.9205263157894727,3.5984638329519463,3.5302402745995423,90.23526887871857,77.71853546910755,6.4306636155606425,23.170480549199084,7.273561745256523,0.8130860411899312,1633,51,352,20,38,542,205,437,0.231,0.672,0.098,-0.9969,3,3,0,0,3,0,43.0,0,0,1,8,18,29,6,2,17,1,45,9,1,9,1,62,76,32,3,4,11,7,3,7,0,1,7,5,1,1,13,24,0,2,11,1,5,4,15,16,0,0,20,8,59,13,52,54,6,46,1,5,0,2,21,26,4,5,20,239,72,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517362187906307,0.08541923917911932,0.0,0.0,0.2745032673864431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730053379061841,0.0,0.13573981495500712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497597720624132,0.06341819328200947,0.0,0.10055200351289104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18500547770484266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005623163223246,0.0,0.08371040100577529,0.17119208248003948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521873426593324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761681654266965,0.1482464453748857,0.0,0.15550020228593758,0.0,0.08340368823953788,0.058920164989541286,0.07918894524495536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762468195284241,0.08617957938734422,0.0,0.14061734972172313,0.0,0.0,0.09092899179584632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055281261986278016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065221927836872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330181599585477,0.2820518739265969,0.0,0.14565389306191576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18006243630354166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505271088052398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311541367792469,0.0,0.0,0.19318747431114466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783319599355723,0.0,0.06272596302579189,0.0,0.0,0.09157874046915962,0.0,0.0,0.22871115475054896,0.0,0.2585065006111237,0.0,0.07796554453699844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558743977736807,0.0,0.16693823037228264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583762379281892,0.0,0.06586465105059909,0.0,0.0944748474917341,0.0,0.0,0.09021427679611384,0.09359166614513943,0.0,0.0,0.124021889632574,0.13258058095460395,0.07208679564478218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528466574384768,0.0,0.13095189382051453,0.0,0.09479289362898706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123192979452063,0.0,0.0,0.09729179775967843,0.13092965112058266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208040544777496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600427909449151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kellay408,2019/01/02,"My mom has a weird case of mental illness Hi, this very rarely happens and last occurred in 2008 where she had entered the psychiatric hospital for mental breakdown. What occurred again today is she had a mental breakdown and would start singing violently and loudly. It is to the point where you can hear something is wrong and very loud and scary. I heard this loud singing and confronted her to snap out of it and she would snap out of it. She gets stressed out because my younger brother would not listen to her for simple things like not taking out the trash. My mom is very normal and hasn't had things like this occur for almost a decade. She works full time and takes care of things around the house, cooks and clean. But it is scary when she has mental break downs and starts singing church song prayers violently loud like a schizophrenic person. What could it be? ",6.263876185164532,7.52554766871166,4.6676185164528725,87.99086447295038,66.17791411042944,7.399665365309538,28.31511433351924,7.348242739294969,1.3772012269938654,702,22,134,6,11,200,91,163,0.14400000000000002,0.7829999999999999,0.073,-0.9157,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,5,10,3,1,8,0,17,3,0,0,0,25,27,13,0,5,3,3,0,3,0,3,2,8,1,1,13,16,1,0,0,5,0,1,3,6,0,0,4,8,13,4,17,18,1,20,1,0,0,0,17,11,0,1,10,87,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098820531701175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644942079714588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974110109922458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337041492108795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044418471611835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834328817459961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567563322740156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474333739708503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093819780353362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662833003155303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172277208314475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5273064184460988,0.0,0.0,0.3064082540766853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128166893111008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421901880707827,0.0,0.0,0.12365856774567092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100704609793795,0.0,0.0,0.1851772347759273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984342632628644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19670701118232967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26071481759343057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627687875377034,0.0,0.12399342326967047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32379803821585285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952318819267338,0.0,0.0,0.2787728977809649,0.14302116725511432,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lalaxox,2019/01/02,"My brother has cannabis induced psychosis: advice? Background info: brother (age 21) has been a chronic weed smoker since the age of about 14/15. Has been increasingly volatile and has been exhibiting signs of delirium for years now.

Examples of his delirium include:
- thinking we're all part of a big conspiracy thats out to get him.
- that people walk past him and deliberately scuff their feet at him to annoy him.
- thinking our house is being watched 24/7 and there's recording devices and we all know about it.
- thinking people want to burn the house down.
- thinking he's invincible and his thoughts/perceptions transcend everybody else's.

Auditory hallucinations include:
- thinking we deliberately make duck noises then deny it to convince him he's crazy.
- hearing clicking noises that ""correlate with his thoughts""
- thinking he hears us walking around the house and talking when we're all asleep (hence why we get woken up by him shouting ""cunts/shut the fuck up"").

So thats my brother. We've had many a 'domestic crisis' because of his behaviour and episodes and we've finally gotten to the point where the police have informally diagnosed him and recommend that we get him to a formal assessment that could lead to treatment.

The problem is he won't engage. He is ridiculously arrogant and believes there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. So the only alternative is that he gets sectioned.

Sectioning him would require an offence/outburst from him (physical of course) which would only happen if we aggravated/goaded him into being physical which in my opinion is manipulative and i'd rather not.

If you have any advice please help. 
",7.043799043062202,9.375201336842109,6.7689393939393945,69.60613636363638,65.45614035087719,9.392344497607656,37.515948963317385,9.800150414767053,4.241666666666667,1331,70,198,30,22,418,169,285,0.099,0.8440000000000001,0.057,-0.9217,0,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,7,1,1,2,11,7,3,0,13,0,22,5,2,4,3,50,42,17,0,8,4,3,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,11,21,0,1,11,0,0,4,2,5,0,0,7,5,28,2,28,29,7,25,0,0,2,1,39,13,1,3,8,131,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23560819578638584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198094049710189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073187321985234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734886770196182,0.0,0.0,0.1358232187151532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625266101868736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235990149927682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070750413726796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206115374696634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145034804560848,0.25193822316911463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066056165779606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27174652600230426,0.0,0.08080489031380966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4173098307673729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625339556566437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047081604762994,0.12222296329801301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567493644495762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18337369227878045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054837188177446,0.11508255542981988,0.1671541052893314,0.0,0.0,0.13233222997927124,0.11396261677478335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535401857356642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972361982092724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689684096246903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4634773018200158,0.0,0.09570651099805656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501177162575282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110594769305009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878134883477203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127638624198854,0.13180701322773805,0.0,0.07763290541714404
mentalhealth,PdexpertPhD,2019/01/02,"Rage and Borderline Personality Disorder - identifiers, triggers, and management ​

Link to video:[https://youtu.be/FQsA9WjQZ0k](https://youtu.be/FQsA9WjQZ0k)

​

All people experience anger, but those with BPD and BPD traits have specific triggers that can set them off into an anger or rage episode.  Knowing these triggers can help you learn to identify and control your anger and rage.

​

Anger or rage is likely to be seen from those with BPD when they feel like a failure, feel neglected, alone, rejected, or abandoned.  Once triggered, the individual with BPD tends to wonder whether the caregiver, or love object or favorite person, cares and gives enough.  

​

Once the individual with BPD experiences a rage episode panic typically follows in an often reckless execution (anger behaviors or gestures towards or others of themselves) to get the love object to provide the much wanted and needed affection and nurturance.  

​

What tends to happen is that the love object may become frightened, angry themselves, anxious, or a whole host of other emotions that causes further distance out of fear that they need to protect themselves.  When this occurs, the individual with BPD feels more alone but continues to engage in the anger/rage episode trying to get an external force to provide the needed control – inpatient placement may be needed.  This regretfully becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy often seen in BPD.

​

Remember, knowledge is power and understanding your anger and rage and how it fits with your BPD can help you identify triggers, emotional buttons, and the type of anger you have to then learn and use anger reduction techniques to help get control over your BPD, your anger, and your life.",18.41344086021505,13.634535146953404,14.30573476702509,47.711935483870974,46.99283154121864,16.987813620071687,58.240143369175634,13.90115768025156,7.915762724014336,1442,76,183,32,9,421,143,279,0.289,0.5720000000000001,0.139,-0.9965,1,3,0,0,0,0,72.0,0,9,3,4,5,29,15,2,17,0,12,4,0,12,1,69,38,29,0,6,11,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,13,22,0,6,11,0,0,1,0,21,0,0,2,5,12,8,32,32,5,16,0,4,2,3,21,10,0,13,6,122,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092072292173271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34274259406379737,0.3843746445998429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05956033268660747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645359581197888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5976083969572935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05375312290284783,0.05415954355667348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739506758958015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042345148297451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860927091004385,0.0,0.054475443331185903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031435635811835,0.0,0.0593263890405746,0.07997278294687926,0.03766427812616527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263448466455514,0.050575304422457716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662148298343572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601440917483043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02897437914728065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037238782285673705,0.051514161953421685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274974249529174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03875639751710794,0.15636941308619698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229343716870266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618573667403425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03655047700821182,0.09206882889900636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972322644381496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05500006350769138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03579446437212425,0.0,0.0,0.05488498161381621,0.0,0.04553448239190327,0.0,0.0,0.031096529777756145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886171570243697,0.0,0.0,0.057174260293016935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843746445998429,0.0
mentalhealth,BurwellBusinessPark,2019/01/02,"Where to turn next. Hello all,

​

Through my work (I run an online MMO game), I've had various experiences with mental health problems. Over the past year, two users have shared with me the results of suicide attempts, which though I am glad they feel they can talk to me, have left their mark on my mind.

A person I've been involved in a relationship with over the past 6 years also suffers with mental health issues. In the space of three years before I met her, she had lost her best friend and then her mother to suicide. I have done all that I can think of, unquestioning support and loyalty and never a word in anger. Over the past year she has accepted more professional help and is on anti-depressants to help her. A couple of weeks ago she told me that she was in a new relationship. I was torn by this, on the one hand I was very happy and proud that she's gotten to a position where she could start a relationship, on the other hand it hurt that it wasn't me. I apologised to her, told her that I wished I was big enough to be around for her but needed to distance myself for a little while.

New Years comes along, I send her a text saying that I'm still very happy that we had that time together and I would do it again too. I get some very nasty messages back including a picture of some self harm that occurred. I offer to be back in her life again and to move her to be with me but as much as the 9 or so days without contact doesn't appear to be good, she doesn't seem to want me around either.

I don't believe I am in any danger from myself, but the various images of the self harm that people who have leaned on me have shared with me are somewhat haunting my mind. I don't believe in trouble but I'm not ok and not sure what to do next other than to give space, time, understanding and love.

​

​",5.74802995391705,5.400302228494624,5.941689708141322,84.01467741935484,67.03763440860214,8.806144393241167,28.19815668202765,8.11559375814309,1.5890059907834106,1447,39,306,16,21,461,187,372,0.111,0.7609999999999999,0.128,0.6571,0,0,0,0,0,2,45.0,1,0,3,5,13,23,2,0,21,1,34,6,2,1,4,52,56,21,2,6,9,1,3,0,1,1,3,1,0,3,19,20,0,0,5,1,0,5,9,9,0,3,15,4,51,14,54,35,12,55,0,3,0,1,48,24,0,6,26,224,70,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918303358765379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241332517705255,0.0,0.2536882917531939,0.28450314804942106,0.05307392839764168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895490034373215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200250498897978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641136271204766,0.17586213920246746,0.08190441886758143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722968297605755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062313347566058726,0.08635636912303107,0.0,0.050333186943245165,0.0,0.06722087008388837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798681129865449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806423385977763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634392370087753,0.0,0.0,0.03946238186504547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029811428529736,0.0,0.04077579232449568,0.0748687954520344,0.0,0.06546124750387985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16616274912720308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591840954577708,0.0,0.0,0.10462512229524937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354981324352366,0.0,0.0,0.08145970416964983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479716276123983,0.0,0.05512616890133711,0.0,0.07822255427945618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519638364856273,0.0,0.07043952507227254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573039400372523,0.0,0.15760834028002255,0.0,0.0,0.08295050301638457,0.05737275991318851,0.05787008964649273,0.06019385492488751,0.1507545469828741,0.16600552551607853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288596163147917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22351109671335653,0.054107241034954026,0.06814672098431522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746794423805143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513764560905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206527909441317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105010982909578,0.16283791275718998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05524133144689615,0.0,0.06232760363550827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073922344453296,0.08856562933279234,0.07355739267670701,0.0,0.0,0.06273038547760446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000869913903396,0.07667975840981285,0.0,0.09101845258830928,0.0,0.0,0.1491525167303347,0.0,0.0,0.08489159187898819,0.07623956137517407,0.0812485957080827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19318826930946212,0.04603352869123044,0.0,0.06260376061198931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974900110980315,0.07523351935362975,0.0,0.056818387640274526,0.0,0.0,0.055441609991870436,0.0,0.28450314804942106,0.2512951936405297
mentalhealth,OGWhiz,2019/01/02,"I need some help regarding my actions I want to start by apologizing as I feel some people may not see this as a mental health issue, but I see it as something that is related to my mental health symptoms. I’ve been struggling with my mental health for awhile, and this past year has been the worst year of my life in regards to mental health. It’s affecting friendships, relationships, and it’s consistently destroying everything I have.

Today I got into a fight with my girlfriend because I talked down to her in a condescending way. This is the subject of most of our fights and the issue is I don’t recognize it when it happens and obviously that’s going to rub people the wrong way. In my mind, I was just communicating that I couldn’t hear her over the wind. She said that my body language and tone of voice were aggressive and condescending. I feel as if I’m disassociating, which I find myself doing a lot lately when I’m in a depressive or anxious state.

I just can’t figure out a way to realize I’m doing it and I feel like it’s only a matter of time before she doesn’t want to deal with me doing it and just apologize later.",7.74524939662108,6.356562269911508,8.399718423169752,71.43446098149641,63.46902654867257,11.404022526146418,33.819790828640386,10.436869588844218,3.2909522123893815,907,30,175,18,11,306,121,226,0.155,0.784,0.062,-0.9773,0,0,1,0,2,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,5,9,4,1,12,0,17,7,1,1,1,39,34,17,0,5,7,0,4,1,1,1,6,3,0,0,16,13,0,0,6,0,0,2,5,8,0,0,6,9,28,1,29,26,5,24,0,1,2,0,16,8,0,7,11,124,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678755443648426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841415017573357,0.0,0.09549916215628053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466183570935595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570383645031343,0.09666322915646117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008647687024542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024004255762892,0.08017688111916528,0.0,0.0,0.10257586271083297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378269383060926,0.0,0.08976029982295629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924430480894733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4771794599856895,0.12649096700089246,0.0,0.07522516563180028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23427718330160946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265999284234108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927111759157249,0.054829735818348914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541363117380737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4524043435932743,0.0,0.11331994880789907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832168600290795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535570261041843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713589561125272,0.15561181022080284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049263841865035,0.0,0.0,0.10675609313337507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788649939717942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639986409578608,0.0,0.0,0.07943672067760398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173267930710924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664957356468532,0.0,0.09020593781258103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544200877666853,0.0,0.10638058119888473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239190528798173,0.2672480060450981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227054991719352,0.0,0.14454442412588714
mentalhealth,BitterPerformer,2019/01/02,"Real or Not Real?  Sometimes, I'll casually mention an event that had taken place within the family that didn't paint the other members in a great light. I am always, *always,* met with a response like ""you have such different memories than the rest of us,"" ""you're lying,"" or ""that never happened."" I definitely agree that memories can be warped over time, but many of these events are recent, and all of them are clear and sharp in my mind. I've been driven to a breaking point where I'm doubting what's real and what's not. I do not have schizophrenia, but I have severe mental illness that might contribute somehow.",5.487371794871796,6.650385717948719,5.947938034188034,78.46754807692311,67.8888888888889,8.243162393162393,28.30021367521368,8.472884824447931,2.0980777777777777,487,16,86,7,8,157,84,117,0.114,0.8079999999999999,0.078,-0.6351,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,1,1,3,4,0,1,7,0,13,1,0,0,3,21,18,7,0,0,7,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,6,2,8,3,10,10,2,14,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,5,6,63,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016759708061937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939713729475294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089295487011205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998598569380461,0.0,0.0,0.16030371475843386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856337245573091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837876434130186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268578985580886,0.19230752445783936,0.1830393067401896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981292431473574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939713729475294,0.0,0.17136649455265565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6190028398981471,0.0,0.0,0.17899035425130658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20479276871788046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17928877639007199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570477699802702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180553560075337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,overaname,2019/01/02,"How do my friends and I help another friend having a breakdown and experiencing hallucinations/psychosis? tl;dr - Friend lost his job and is now breaking down. Hallucinations that he is being hunted and is now 'on the run' and I fear he will do something stupid to either himself or another.

He is refusing to seek help since he lost his job and no longer has health insurance. Since losing his job he has completely lost it so to speak. He is paranoid he was hacked and being followed/tracked. He destroyed his computer, got rid of his internet, got rid of his phone and bought a trackfone that he only turns on to contact one of us to pick him up. He has been traveling out of state to stay in motels because he believes his home was broken into and they replaced the drywall with new drywall (has a different texture according to him) and are listening and watching him. When he hangs out with us all he talks about is him being hacked and followed and will talk real low and constantly tell us to keep it down because ""they"" are listening. His girlfriend is either fueling the fire or just supporting him by taking him places to stay. He says that she claims to have noticed everything he has like cars following, cops always around them watching, home looks like it was broken into, etc.. but I don't know since I haven't spoken to her about it. He has burned ALL of his personal paperwork - I think it included his social and all as well since he is talking about trying to change it so he can't be tracked.

All of his friends including me have tried sitting down and talking to him about everything but everytime we ask to see what he is talking about or point out something that may not make sense he breaks down in anger and accuses us of making fun of him and gets so mad his face turns red/veins popping out and being aggressive like he wants to hit us.

It's heartbreaking to see him like this since we've been friends for over 13 years and I really want to help him but I don't know if I even can or what I could possibly do. I know trying to get him to seek help in professionals is his best bet but he won't do it and none of us can force him.

We asked about drug abuse and he said he is taking adderall (prescribed to help him stay awake since he was falling asleep at work) and smokes a little. I looked up adderall and learned that is can cause psychosis and I think could be that causing him to have these hallucinations and we've mentioned not taking it/taking less and he swears he only takes 1 in the morning and that it like the doctor said.",6.369809655172412,6.425887032000003,6.261737931034485,80.87780000000002,65.68,9.536551724137931,32.04137931034483,9.223106411051027,2.5818786206896545,2036,74,401,33,29,641,223,500,0.106,0.7859999999999999,0.108,0.8031,6,0,4,0,1,0,37.0,8,0,3,6,17,26,5,1,9,0,53,5,2,6,4,78,91,43,0,5,14,0,1,5,6,4,3,6,2,1,20,39,0,2,6,2,2,7,9,12,1,1,14,14,55,14,62,64,10,45,0,6,6,0,99,25,0,7,11,260,75,8,0.0,0.07432411486716954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219590944174076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315545499692588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05584249054077554,0.1172870950998429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647855443783562,0.0,0.0,0.07067458449181148,0.06583066483508787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888080482845635,0.06635941744790698,0.0,0.06577061202770856,0.06778822688503024,0.0,0.10016868821218666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553890122798539,0.0,0.06420622787260159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274622147790112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069959894258181,0.041432195734284666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127543305625462,0.0,0.0,0.07058804658420384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423230032387415,0.0,0.06554707438285715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034090840466693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666784488541322,0.0,0.0,0.21023106733362093,0.0,0.12584546233050825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674783464280026,0.0557567980589252,0.0,0.0,0.10342335972603238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323215025051576,0.0628713667041663,0.0,0.0,0.10535384181538708,0.07017818462931183,0.20542974315699614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374476089850963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605844726817494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141786981407923,0.0,0.0,0.04250708402280407,0.09541711373893563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05477291714848325,0.06553890122798539,0.0,0.05929958562569965,0.07071800506584924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139982255168441,0.04018607800653491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934010229315738,0.04988495910783758,0.0,0.0,0.09997446539463883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113425875870707,0.0,0.0,0.06394475238301946,0.0,0.09658435707668753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20058367224941845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118461178440011,0.0,0.0,0.1886588930380099,0.2520976913363201,0.054828285189382764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038896942014788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776749231247295,0.13646320942311724,0.0,0.0,0.45273467097985104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399888407359817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564012894852786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04566777085939982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04039569511863313
mentalhealth,Kusarigaama,2019/01/02,"Is there something wrong with me1 Hi guys, I'm from the Philippines, 16 and a male.

So we were given this assignment for Christmas vacation. The assignment is we read a page of an article mostly about contemporary problems in our nation and feminism. And there are 10 articles so we get 10 pages and we need to answer them.

So I started working on it. It took me a day to read only 6 of the articles. And I asked myself if there is something wrong. ”Why am I so slow?”

I noticed that when I'm reading, I tend to imagine other things like what should I do next, or things I have done in the past while reading at THE SAME TIME. 

I think that's the problem.

I keep on imagining things until I realize that I actually finished reading a paragraph. Not understanding anything but I know to myself that I am read it. 
So there it is, at the end of the paragraph not remembering anything I read, then I read again. That's what I know that slows me down to read 10 pages of text with font size like, ugh let's say 11.

Is this ADHD? Or am I just bored?
Anyways I don't know what are the symptoms of ADHD. Please comment what do you think it is. I'm afraid to go to the doctor because I'm embarrassed.

If you made it here, thank you for reading. All comments are appreciated.",1.9004705882352937,4.056964380392159,3.519764705882356,87.99494117647059,79.70588235294117,6.432941176470589,25.49411764705882,7.554174236665415,1.3363223529411763,987,39,204,15,25,327,132,255,0.073,0.863,0.064,0.1999,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,5,3,1,1,15,11,0,2,15,0,20,2,0,1,1,39,41,19,0,6,8,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,22,11,0,1,11,10,0,2,3,8,0,0,5,1,31,3,26,34,6,24,0,0,0,0,16,8,0,5,16,145,53,14,0.0,0.0,0.07903241267797266,0.0,0.1946632007493354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329212181528272,0.0,0.07571266285382355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936941274545554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05223043270432176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289444767808157,0.0,0.08287864039423264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173115462423511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042312784194877766,0.0,0.04602723456553708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019065742911494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719856800895358,0.0,0.0,0.13352633483642806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281551521998007,0.0,0.07913309896818664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663261699548328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060051429413408984,0.0,0.0,0.08613144682046321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220515001021427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061594873305124975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731202151455006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890028704189523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15498877883690965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8100971902019767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174339268395908,0.0,0.0,0.06440475121654778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469673424984234,0.0,0.0,0.05732358350143084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417733654665804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456268755261138,0.0,0.0,0.16141409212057384,0.103787427486251,0.0,0.0,0.04722463896559583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899804285836941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431115866429689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307889497313393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058960084831498866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709489686550695,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,menotthefabulous9918,2019/01/02,"I'm thinking of whether I should continue my existence once my parents die. This thought of mine has just come out of nowhere, but the fact is that my family, especially my parents, is literally all I have. They are the only people I can always count on at this point in time. I have few friends and they are not even close to me, and to make things worse I only see them a few times a year as we are living in different places. I have almost no friend where I'm living, people seem to ridicule me because they think I act like an attention whore with all my show-offs about my mental sufferings.

I feel so much sympathy and support from my parents whenever I stay with them, even when there are times we argue and they have no idea about my mental health problems. I count on their support so much I don't know if I can continue to stand after falling once the support is no longer there one day, when my parents are no longer here in this world.

I don't even know if this is suicidal or not, but it makes me hurt a lot. And I have no freaking idea how to get out of it. ",6.59029887920299,5.265930063926941,6.668609381486096,82.71220423412204,65.7123287671233,10.155417185554171,32.69447903694479,9.095868883498916,2.439873059360731,840,28,183,12,11,269,118,219,0.204,0.6940000000000001,0.102,-0.9773,5,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,7,0,15,13,2,0,7,0,20,2,0,3,3,42,37,17,2,4,9,4,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,8,13,0,0,10,0,0,3,9,7,0,1,1,2,36,6,24,35,7,28,0,2,1,1,16,13,0,6,11,134,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065840064035473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856637541778069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488466659739678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168839569153707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864481515570874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104676267778928,0.11120685495681283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109072975851524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003418970150834,0.0,0.05381912160230455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447013037419134,0.0,0.05561036161089363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314044714714355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394592384667895,0.24031498051575376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699297515115108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05200107169435824,0.0,0.18797644919573744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904912453294695,0.0,0.0,0.14209868191468614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21453240978556806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649088557235566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267096602404401,0.07212631031327918,0.1619044098870637,0.0,0.0,0.4727548599855925,0.0,0.0,0.14758380245692948,0.0,0.11120685495681283,0.0,0.10061994165474956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184843896179667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481867764193718,0.09689872531835816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345058140330395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642778000919053,0.3623596054957001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071382170281802,0.1364045520283564,0.0,0.08450124984085951,0.1861975736027268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847117012450118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854369120883652
mentalhealth,GQWCIOA,2019/01/02,"I feel like there’s a constant inner battle between my good side && my other side I like to think I am, overall, a good person:
I try to be as fair as I can;
I try to be as polite as I can;
I try to be as rational as I can so I am not run by emotions.

However,
there is another side to me && I feel like it’s my true self. It’s slightly darker and the complete opposite of my rational side. This side runs on logic as well but it completely disregards other people’s emotions. This side of me, the darker one, knows I am capable of more; it knows I can get anything I want via means of manipulation and carefully-thought-out attack plans. An attack plan is when my mind visualizes something I want, comes up with different ways to get it, tests out all these ways in made-up scenarios to check if they’ll work, and picks the best method. Sometimes an attack plan consists of different methods to reach a specific goal.

I constantly feel like there’s an inner battle between my good side && my dark side. I am aware of this and I try to apply my good side to as much of my life as I can but my dark side sometimes comes out and takes over. This side powers the competitive, manipulative, abusive, assertive, goal-driven, materialistic in me. The good side drives the nice, polite, respectful, good-first-impression, leader, competitive, goal-specific, spiritual, considerate in me.

I’ve felt like this for a long time. People would either say I’m a great person or a wolf in sheep’s clothing depending on which side of me they were most exposed to. When people would think the latter, I’d understand that my facade had been seen-through and I felt exposed.

I am capable of keeping these sides separate, validating which side to use on a situation basis, and use the appropriate one when needed.

I feel like I don’t know myself anymore && who I truly am. I don’t know how to start working on this. On one hand, I feel like it is a useful resource && it can take me far if used strategically && carefully. On the other hand, I feel like the more my dark side is used, the more it becomes part of me, and as a result, it becomes me.",5.692801676995991,6.104686457345974,6.678388625592415,76.09062705067447,67.12796208530807,9.71505650747357,32.10754648195406,9.661875296680813,2.9463912504557044,1703,67,324,34,26,570,181,422,0.073,0.705,0.221,0.9961,4,0,3,0,0,0,84.0,0,0,2,9,9,25,5,0,23,0,27,3,2,11,2,60,61,28,0,7,7,0,10,8,0,3,1,1,0,3,24,13,0,2,18,0,1,5,3,5,1,3,5,11,50,20,52,50,9,48,0,0,0,0,7,33,0,5,16,210,74,4,0.0,0.062372537068522235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6844551368687918,0.0,0.0,0.05520005895229868,0.0,0.0,0.05220703268224533,0.0,0.0,0.043320141168539286,0.0,0.0,0.17966470456680472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627860563708405,0.0,0.0,0.05524486352794356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05367235022844197,0.0,0.0,0.09069338901101184,0.110388934844341,0.11377528549791292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000003306002136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184310414881357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597052220696435,0.2256460891036217,0.10108975876050147,0.0,0.0,0.04477752763119265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055006875412973714,0.0,0.0,0.26492326553717976,0.0,0.0580383399257568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467909097870547,0.0,0.0,0.11572336201230254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03718282505241178,0.20574701470542814,0.0,0.0,0.04658679365842886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049811432831108435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057342915431517864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315373315640405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03869815982395193,0.03903361075107712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701538842240248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057006498951506925,0.0,0.10948666219153347,0.09193048074102067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041863283090233024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054917417105359786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059172169516154074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04052662721090874,0.10412919441071757,0.0,0.03726050265761188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916094137380318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674621417829126,0.0,0.04179211919857565,0.03069615816391561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296270983119813,0.0,0.0,0.05480250814045772,0.0,0.2273302977043941,0.0,0.0,0.06209960452483693,0.08357004128186367,0.0,0.0,0.04733176473638594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664846694388007,0.0,0.0,0.07479118270095354,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kira3333,2019/01/02,"Grieving the lost hope for a “cure” and finding acceptance. I’ve shown signs of ptsd and depression since I was 7. I’ve been misdiagnosed and given so many med that don’t help. Nowadays, I have a good combo, but even with that, I still go through depression fits and disproportional dread and anxiety. Things can get manageable, but they’re always there.

I woke up sobbing for an hour this morning. I dreamt that my dad found my long lost favorite stuffed animal as a kid, and gave it to me. I think my sadness comes from missing the time when my family was together, before my parents split and my mom and I moved far away from dad and sister. I missed having comfort and safety, and my stuffed elephant  symbolizes safety. 

Why the fuck does my stupid brain cling on to shit. Everything sticks inside my mind and tries to bust out, causing mental illness  flare ups. I hate myself for being so ridiculous, but it’s so real in my mind. Knowing the reality of my situation, that my intense emotions are all neurochemical imbalances paired with past childhood medical trauma, but cognitive awareness doesn’t help my feelings subside. It’s so frustrating. 

I’m complaining!!!",5.901602112676059,7.787290859154936,5.9445980046948375,76.15379841549296,67.63849765258216,9.08086854460094,33.03080985915493,9.516144504307137,3.299582394366197,935,42,158,20,16,295,144,213,0.276,0.62,0.104,-0.994,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,8,22,6,1,8,0,10,5,2,1,1,33,28,22,1,1,4,5,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,9,16,0,0,6,0,0,3,2,18,0,0,9,1,24,4,20,18,1,18,0,9,0,1,10,8,3,1,7,96,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782674433752248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832747473456047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304260469170162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204954668159332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807806605141408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546739201360506,0.0,0.12198021096497808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439284420544481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239195324560259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928662037065155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352879921700888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726548710651753,0.0,0.13349263747294154,0.0,0.07159976742405649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294244492026262,0.0,0.0,0.15526262701250873,0.0,0.1309115858133284,0.0739827934601067,0.0,0.08047741251718997,0.1187715965193171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980566909667616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982975859571044,0.0,0.0,0.14064576470098195,0.13945244889359834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782243152322416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253160121284491,0.0,0.0,0.30915727669297144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356529368216348,0.0,0.0,0.15729128663294922,0.14265218904958007,0.14270458331775632,0.0,0.2859614644329622,0.16584612169898796,0.0,0.15050375681814634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723564885399105,0.0,0.1351780420156492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552872424528586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16117754681392946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535554766407155,0.11713715966558134,0.15917000785932792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308597488267776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407610226345957,0.09073479750359516,0.0,0.0,0.08257104270729439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614053292912632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777653127691602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FiresideAbysss,2019/01/02,How do i deal with jealous thoughts My gf broke up with my a few months back and I thought I was starting to get over it recently so I started talking to her again as friends when I realized I still have feelings for her and now I can't help but be scared that she's going to find another relationship. I know it's selfish I know it's wrong but I can't help it. She's going to see a movie with one of my friends today and I can't stop think jealous thoughts and I don't know what to do,-0.5294871794871803,1.5439010370370383,1.5259259259259288,98.919358974359,89.55555555555556,4.8045584045584055,23.122507122507123,6.297961479604792,0.30608319088319114,384,16,94,4,13,127,62,108,0.227,0.6940000000000001,0.079,-0.9436,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,2,1,2,0,9,0,0,1,0,21,23,10,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,10,0,0,2,4,6,0,1,4,2,19,2,13,18,1,15,0,1,1,0,12,2,0,0,11,64,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359495306652044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419648935219564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903398186468335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933517269059708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874350674021707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852809603310857,0.0,0.0964587145922525,0.0,0.20985278879215225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474999070611387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304394496075154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736556556389693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510638268782578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18229448367686413,0.19821768792198305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848413965798268,0.0,0.14712187408529984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613564333135533,0.0,0.14744141529985313,0.15435440244492207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839423108919486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829996579818908,0.0,0.43971384315677936,0.0,0.0,0.1750024990885738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20185797788463966,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dlkx93,2019/01/02,"Funny way to diagnose Bipolar disorder So when I started seeing mental health docs back in 2016, we eventually got on the topic of taking medication. Initially I told them no but after a few more sessions agreed to try it. 

My doc put me on some medication and told me very seriously that if I suddenly became very, very happy, if I started buying expensive stuff, started having sex with strangers, etc. that I needed to come back in. 

I asked her why. She said that that meant that I had bipolar disorder. I asked if there wasn't some other way to diagnose bipolar and she just shrugged and said this way was the easiest. ",4.306666666666665,6.49640620512821,5.513170940170942,76.37488461538463,72.41880341880342,8.782564102564104,29.648717948717948,9.3871,2.990214358974359,494,21,86,12,10,164,77,117,0.077,0.804,0.119,0.7984,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,4,9,0,0,0,15,19,9,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,9,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,2,1,0,0,9,3,16,1,11,10,5,17,0,0,1,1,11,4,0,5,8,62,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541470645367878,0.0,0.0,0.2090391692837721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170892000747337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27592638296781585,0.0,0.0,0.31156856993963633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159469800053552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871335547313317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469697398730602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448419947410512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27386459775054245,0.1369825923032029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078825609476813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136644324601914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25859568483222284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831633645224524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886297996890958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556040613640028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220029710761047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597684251955749,0.0,0.09228560933266472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33646239154991825,0.0,0.3236779237365733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265310673904176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SensibleJames,2019/01/02,"I only feel guilt I've suffered with depression and anxiety disorder for a long time and I take Citalopram daily.

​

For a while now I haven't been able to feel any emotions other than guilt. I understand feelings and have the symptoms of feeling, crying when I'm supposed to be sad for example but I don't actually feel the emotions. I also understand the feelings of other people but I don't know. It's very odd.

​

I imagine it's the medication but does anyone else have any ideas about this?",3.367346938775512,6.019456346938777,4.607510204081635,79.48391836734696,77.36734693877553,7.185306122448982,30.20816326530613,8.238735603445708,2.654376326530612,414,20,70,8,10,136,61,98,0.202,0.785,0.014,-0.9184,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,6,0,7,2,0,0,0,18,18,9,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,11,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,6,8,0,10,16,0,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,46,13,0,0.13671841051096448,0.0,0.1334174467908853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933366349061707,0.0,0.2962686813365629,0.3322556666931465,0.18594641484303928,0.0,0.1045892098261422,0.0,0.0,0.09559669149064652,0.1400841682027516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501787541443169,0.0,0.0,0.11775536663764433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15669114317316934,0.0,0.11964320236725505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421068865864935,0.3075796200597314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4147736176976622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433844404475597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513686292150136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209914910247254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772941508351286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398051196111653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478333139501448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421027770653184,0.10279522988812118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972160462927641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846573739512533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280700698180045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322556666931465,0.0
mentalhealth,human942,2019/01/02,"Fictional character ruined me I've been suffering from depression for a long time now for reasons people may consider to be very ""serious"". Serious they were indeed, so serious in fact that they were fixable only by me, not a therapist. I've never once considered visiting a therapist before until very recently when a rather new but ""embarrassing"" issue arose. This newly found issue combined with the ones I already suffered from have left me at a point in life where suicide seems ever so appealing.

I won't talk about the issues that I was already suffering from because that's not were I need a therapist's help. The solution to them are well beyond a therapists power. This however is different and, I'll once again say, embarrassing.

Even with the anonymity of the internet, I feel embarrassed to say this, but I beg you all to take it seriously.

A fictional character has destroyed me as a person. Initially it seemed like a case of sexual attraction and to an extent it still is. I've always have had a very diverse and weird sexual preference, I won't mention what that entails but homosexuality wasn't one of them. Well, until this anomaly struck me.

The part were it gets bad however is that I realized I might be far more than just ""in love"". I now have an inferiority complex when before I could be considered borderline narcissistic. I loved my looks, my personality etc until this character shattered all of that.

Their looks, personality, intelligence etc makes me feel like dirt. I revere that character like perfection, like a god incarnate. Now, I'm aware fictional characters are always presented as beyond the average human. Indeed, I always acknowledged that whenever I perceived a character I found very infatuating, but here I simply can't help myself. This is the first time ever a fictional character had such an effect on me.

I always looked at people who are infatuated with anime characters and ""waifus"" with absolute ridicule. Yet here I am, more fanatical about it than anyone else.

I don't think I can quite describe with words how awful it feels. But the pain now goes beyond my mind and is having physical effects. I feel filled with something, every night I sometimes struggle to breathe because it feels like something is clogging up my body inside. This feeling occurs whenever I fantasize about him with that same soundtrack of his playing in my head on loop. I feel insane.

I can no longer appreciate myself, not only do I want to meet him, have sex with him but I also want to BE him. But he's not real, which leaves me with a sense of extreme longing. Imitating him is never enough.

Like I said, I had plenty problems before but this is another that worsens my already terrible situation with something so weird.

Is there a name for this strange condition?

Anyway, if it helps to inform you, that character is Near from Death Note.
",6.492646461490391,8.192350805394994,7.341812216841119,67.4091282612092,65.99421965317919,11.005801176899443,34.258240899859395,10.986757480514221,4.410723543196376,2304,105,364,70,37,768,259,519,0.185,0.703,0.112,-0.9904,4,0,3,0,0,1,64.0,0,2,5,6,33,35,2,4,28,1,44,8,3,5,8,73,69,26,2,8,15,0,7,6,0,4,2,3,0,4,31,15,0,0,21,1,0,2,12,22,2,3,13,13,59,13,56,47,10,44,0,6,3,3,33,17,0,5,31,278,90,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23468895567740086,0.056691268361685476,0.2359469702691825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433508157621534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956842676593009,0.07263590114207795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059190774629465814,0.08642862727736893,0.0,0.18096829683854984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874358817993604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566004567031345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610580573078141,0.0,0.0,0.07406569473022785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592200845906536,0.0,0.0,0.07324904490814284,0.15812374252233807,0.046822639741604735,0.12824939611635774,0.059728473488030974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509112808698101,0.1012886626043068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060299594464605775,0.0,0.15545599025759285,0.0,0.0,0.03703746561765076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275431168665306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254962867116025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219744230888876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506301705839015,0.0770229545817317,0.0,0.05007219894264395,0.2078016954937584,0.0,0.0,0.12547208001955987,0.17859100489214216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279632516874807,0.0,0.047320093713414224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520383150593034,0.07157939982774493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052564556894820584,0.10935055850944536,0.0684666812375886,0.0,0.06652612107143609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099256690860516,0.09607474797764254,0.1078311458662316,0.07543270454111707,0.0,0.0,0.0767677214547293,0.0,0.09829337286938117,0.18569707845230185,0.0,0.0,0.0670146267985745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783282731828164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540098713321827,0.0,0.08068913823424581,0.0,0.07288744795140029,0.06999601539383925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743329091505172,0.11275026232308324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907246431822667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968411866780782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372537621753674,0.0701127164345532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566134057754144,0.0,0.0,0.07411035320867893,0.0,0.07754292139299948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053300985056526064,0.056979260557814035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292382732758387,0.0,0.04542389906750437,0.0,0.0,0.08267387624215773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339690119844052,0.08362634489563774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747850852354806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadsugarbun,2019/01/02,"How has reading helped anyone with mental illness? What types of books have you enjoyed the most? How much time do you spend reading? What illnesses do you have, and when did you get into reading? Let me know anything and everything. I love reading other people's experiences. :) Will respond when I get the chance to each comment!",3.25292372881356,6.397544694915258,3.286249999999999,84.63751059322036,85.10169491525423,4.983898305084747,27.71398305084745,6.6274283507984215,1.6521677966101698,263,12,42,3,8,80,44,59,0.084,0.722,0.195,0.8339,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,4,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,8,3,0,2,0,9,12,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,2,4,9,3,4,0,0,0,1,8,1,0,1,3,33,10,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139790548089432,0.0,0.16451928616568068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967756459488313,0.19556268975338365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089026405047634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340039215956652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987224647356007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20443442961040825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804379748944733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147498406697975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696613303711145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386011758236188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7999069090762838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657649058687294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WhackOutASlackline,2019/01/02,"Adult Inpatient UK Advice I'm currently sitting in A&E because me/my MH team were worried I'd attempt suicide so they wanted me here to get assessed by a psychiatrist etc. The doctor wants me to be formally admitted to hospital for a short stay (probably max few weeks) just until this period of suicidality passes.

I was in a CAMHS inpatient unit for a while but I know that was quite different (and the unit I was at was already different to most other CAMHS units) so I was wondering if any of you have experiences of UK adult inpatient?",5.910346740638005,7.134962281553397,7.447600554785023,67.8747572815534,66.96116504854369,11.710957004160885,36.0735090152566,11.491704259439757,4.8241606102635215,437,22,74,15,7,151,73,103,0.046,0.941,0.013,-0.4854,3,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,1,1,3,4,0,0,0,6,0,8,1,0,0,0,10,15,7,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,8,0,14,8,3,12,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,3,5,50,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19611172960543735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22146616189082988,0.0,0.0,0.21744729199064644,0.0,0.136475931848684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233862670719076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193562093879378,0.0,0.20541449303589449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22382215383223605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19631311347446934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485212650287333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029385419508768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163775255926267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21345828364579095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139086020759396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4390440905020462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367440630114716,0.0,0.16098123550871032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217639504764396,0.0,0.2038102125613697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,doud_the_doggod,2019/01/02,"Bandersnatch (SPOILER) You all know that new interactive episode of Black Mirror, its about multiple realities and that you can't control yourself, you don't make your own choices, somebody is doing it for you, and it's a whole ""conspiracy"". And since I was a small kid, I was always thinking this way, like I'm not in the control, somebody up there is taking choices for me. I know I need to look for a therapy or a psy and that's what I'm doing, but I just need a clue of what could it be? A serious mental condition? Delusion? Schizophrenia? Paranoia?

I hate reading articles on Internet, after that I just think I'm a mess and I have all the mental illnesses that could exist

​

Btw, curiosity question: isn't here a psy or someone studying psy? Just for curiosity, I'm not gonna spam you with my existential crisis ",4.5978301886792465,6.188221440251574,5.904544025157232,76.32964622641511,70.44654088050314,8.822012578616352,33.37578616352201,9.2995712137729,3.2276955974842765,655,32,118,14,12,220,96,159,0.152,0.8190000000000001,0.029,-0.9672,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,6,0,2,6,4,1,0,10,0,13,1,0,3,2,28,28,8,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,12,6,0,2,5,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,2,16,1,13,22,4,7,0,0,2,0,9,4,0,3,3,83,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659560420660073,0.19089060574911115,0.2140775906265264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952009758410859,0.28133027143512457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394095583279756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936474852821812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607249069938545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794655617268068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760130204031652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550953517749985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612699953403021,0.0,0.17015542929149413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19736155815711312,0.0,0.17622735310110846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573764889091076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927646807092007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246519080544428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147681414996327,0.0,0.0,0.225777645599722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984322662039958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966983169377312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140775906265264,0.0
mentalhealth,nosidamadison,2019/01/02,"Any advice would be appreciated. My roommate is going to kill himself and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve been trying to help him for about two years now. We recently just moved all the way across the country thinking if we changed our surroundings to a place with more opportunity, we could get better jobs and make new friends.

However,  he did not. 

He works a job he doesn’t hate but he hates his higher ups. He has a HUGE problem with authority. He has made no friends. I’m his only friend. One of my friends has tried branching out to him to befriend him but he’s putting no effort into it, making it kind of impossible.

Last night he posted to a Facebook group that’s pretty much just a ton of depressed teens and young adults that talk about suicide, post self deprecating memes, etc. He had posted about suicide before but I thought maybe he was just expressing himself to likeminded people for support. They’re just encouraging him to “do what he wants and end it.” A VERY toxic community but he got mad when I brought it up.

He told me previously that I was the only thing that made him happy and he felt like me hanging out with my new friends was me abandoning him. I’ve explained *numerous* times that I’m not abandoning him. I don’t even really leave the house anymore because I was afraid hanging out with my friends would push him over the edge. 

I can’t keep living like this, but if I don’t, I’m afraid he won’t be living *at all.*

I don’t know what to do.

He won’t see a psychologist. He doesn’t have insurance and he doesn’t believe in spending money if it’s not for what he wants. 

At this point, I woke up this morning to a message asking me to find a new place to live because he didn’t want me to be screwed when he eventually killed himself.

I don’t get paid until the 11th, so even if I talk him into a therapist if I pay for it, it’ll be two weeks before I can. I’m almost positive a therapist will put him in involuntary rehab. Though at this point, I think that’s our last hope. I just can’t afford to pay for it myself. Do they let you make payment plans? 

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you. ",1.9836205944094587,4.139625148491884,3.470147497514088,88.46093000773395,79.41763341067285,6.424947519611093,23.95099988951497,7.536579438409214,1.0680294553088054,1673,59,352,25,42,550,204,431,0.129,0.708,0.163,0.9345,4,0,0,0,0,2,44.0,5,2,1,5,16,28,6,2,17,0,42,2,0,5,2,64,77,21,4,14,18,0,1,2,6,7,1,0,0,2,23,18,0,3,8,0,5,8,18,12,0,3,17,2,49,16,46,46,6,49,0,3,1,1,62,21,1,7,18,218,72,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298017224299204,0.0,0.0,0.07838178411513383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646028977073313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762843877511759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731771920200152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543225294729256,0.0,0.13321367254789482,0.08818988373596448,0.0,0.06922847574070362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280528780746213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249675913156823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674187263297581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932901681042873,0.0,0.08729807165013036,0.10340069350264486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515692566262024,0.0,0.07154255114886401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628535655781671,0.0,0.08179162156555075,0.0,0.04448587138528432,0.0,0.06260420991363527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332591422594653,0.0,0.15456205212959334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052466536645823125,0.0,0.0,0.07774540959597083,0.0,0.0903196223379926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535306356134138,0.06957501870953313,0.1732008792880948,0.08151207272742213,0.08603653053315458,0.1276102489512465,0.0,0.08288264035380495,0.0,0.08004218358016618,0.0,0.07648308433575883,0.0,0.2073565719204285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813267734887398,0.1567488676496867,0.0,0.07863843901195429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319465747465543,0.05754162947523735,0.0,0.0,0.22679741127988834,0.0,0.0734564207911919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05304162486247509,0.1190643599472876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054266498949530034,0.0,0.1635628457114894,0.0,0.14799163233926727,0.0,0.2248993849393168,0.07963450462855365,0.0,0.07489925200354675,0.0,0.157377351543514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05014540336790136,0.0,0.07728778828026761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237558057904063,0.0,0.0816586029203847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712417730505004,0.08882631121493709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258300490843694,0.0,0.0720657271703698,0.0,0.18176818934284344,0.05200288198663432,0.10031178701359396,0.07690545571355542,0.06214214445465618,0.04564317702486908,0.0,0.0,0.07479576427892194,0.0,0.10628809374019724,0.0,0.15292792602771196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645856316272029,0.13850706792194542,0.062131589364295116,0.06278802697207299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056985625476691185,0.0,0.0,0.16681438636506038,0.0,0.0,0.05040696993922168
mentalhealth,DecentLoungeTuber,2019/01/02,"What are some important questions about mental health in general that usually go unanswered or have unsatisfying answers? I've asked this in another subreddit as well, because mental health and especially mental health answers are important subjects to me.

I suffer from a couple of illnesses and it has been very difficult for me not only to get the help I needed, but also to feel validation for what I was going thru. Part of it was that I didn't know how to express myself, bevsue I didn't understand what was happening, and answers were hard to come by.

Now I'm in a better place and would like to compile important questions, get answers and record a video about everything. I feel it's sort of a duty, because I've found answers, and I'm doing better, and as a gesture of gratitude I want to help others as well. ",9.636138248847928,7.8239121161290335,9.870230414746544,63.736774193548406,60.096774193548384,12.986175115207374,41.49769585253456,11.765960540728905,5.035479262672812,658,30,109,16,7,221,90,155,0.049,0.753,0.197,0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,7,7,0,0,6,0,13,4,0,1,0,31,29,14,0,3,3,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,10,8,0,1,12,1,0,3,3,2,2,0,8,3,10,5,24,20,2,9,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,5,3,80,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951892566598599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436040947537285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802983341924093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696698944560284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422424247851976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797036340422018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153265338676394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308189700607695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384921458300924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501586887484429,0.0,0.0,0.14310152378165658,0.0,0.1556637675140611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110449922280292,0.0,0.12268036765115226,0.0,0.0,0.4367145776190012,0.0,0.0,0.18358949725788726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526417978101947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690688913164806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41404039442783935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154674547941604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415670340322936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830358576400804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308368025580492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068308534624887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425698580964386,0.0,0.0,0.15083115968188948,0.11299815461961925,0.08077670261240176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462691293115768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728540413890173,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,froggie20,2019/01/02,"i fought depression and ocd, but i cant get over hating myself so yeah, im really glad i dont struggle with mental illnesses anymore. but i still hate myself, i really do. its so hard because im so insecure about myself, i think everyone is better than me all the time. i hate my looks, my voice, my body, my personality in general. and whats worse people can see this just by seeing how i act. they ask me ""why are you so insecure?"" ""you seem like you really dislike yourself"" and i cant even answer propely. i just dont know what to say.
it sucks. when i get a job, i will talk with people frequently, so my insecurities will really bug me in there. and i may lose customers because of it. 
i just dont know what to do with this.",0.10481003834088654,2.3991813841059653,3.1386127570582083,86.71544092018128,89.46357615894041,6.887556639944233,19.205646566747998,8.032893268588372,1.109362913907285,563,17,120,14,19,200,88,151,0.253,0.626,0.12,-0.976,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,1,2,14,14,5,4,2,1,13,2,1,1,1,21,28,13,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,3,1,2,0,1,8,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,11,0,0,1,6,29,3,12,24,1,8,0,2,3,0,9,3,1,2,5,84,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934966129130768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193269826614014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901555911434073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535308490119715,0.0,0.14487625333811852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233756021692408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585824030542289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614655204260334,0.0,0.0,0.12462967088041099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362866330033929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683798886938973,0.3863123374676304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28176953139873595,0.0,0.12942979705182187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433597823006835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372059782114263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952678292798353,0.14591571909913925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144088148696614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084489059276926,0.11388481527549142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342224083493022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372168671645866,0.0,0.0,0.20786867153468272,0.11873687414912172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416007584910264,0.0,0.0,0.13635180405931474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048331931322365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357308145357918,0.0,0.0,0.07605369348634138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769110363461595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291741076640098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,barelythere_00123,2019/01/02,"I’m struggling. I feel like my depression is at an all time high. I’m sitting in the corner of the bathroom at work right now typing this just to try and alleviate some of what I’m feeling, hoping that maybe someone will understand.
 
I feel like my whole life I’ve been making the wrong choices. I always try and do the right thing, for myself and for everyone else, but in the end I’m always hurting. It’s unbearable and I hate the guilt that I carry with me all of the time. 

I push people away constantly. I’ll always make plans with the one or two friends that I have left, and then bail in the last minute because I can’t bring myself to do anything. I’m numb. And I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. I feel as though this is making people angry and hurting them which isn’t what I want, I just don’t know if they could be understanding. 

I’m tired all the time. I want to sleep forever. Every morning I have to get up at 5:30 for work and every morning I cry. I cry every time I’m in the shower. I cried so hard I had to leave work the other day. I’m just tired. 

I hate everything about myself. I don’t have a personality, and I don’t have good looks to make up for it. I hate my body and I hate my mind. I used to be so creative and now that’s gone, like everything else, because I’m being swallowed into a dark hole. Every day is a struggle that’s just becoming harder and harder. I don’t see beauty in the world anymore. Everything is falling apart every where I look and I don’t understand why anyone would want to stick with me when I don’t even want to. I never feel happy, I only feel sad or slightly less sad. There’s a weight on my chest constantly that’s pulling me under. 

I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. And I don’t know how to describe how I feel to anyone, and I don’t think anyone takes me seriously anyway even if I were to ask for help. 

I just want to sleep forever. ",2.0197670070473173,3.5051297261613747,3.7865561628074262,89.34055048180643,76.92176039119805,6.572155903926362,22.298360419962613,7.285733465282438,0.6574178915576017,1514,42,333,18,34,509,171,409,0.208,0.684,0.108,-0.9942,2,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,2,4,21,23,4,3,18,0,33,10,4,8,4,68,83,28,0,13,10,0,10,4,1,2,4,0,1,1,16,19,2,0,14,0,0,5,14,15,0,2,4,13,51,8,43,72,6,43,0,5,3,0,6,22,0,6,19,210,67,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588994865717585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19771924777677716,0.18587009924218006,0.0,0.05468756018344033,0.0,0.06212731480417121,0.0,0.062437524931524664,0.0,0.0,0.08102182466506876,0.07339534304706624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381754629213842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363048238572998,0.0,0.05305964497442592,0.0,0.2189961245123398,0.08571714195931507,0.0,0.05723838697226191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103078832795137,0.0,0.058860220425881925,0.0,0.0,0.08778701749653582,0.0,0.2799598963274643,0.06350147997075607,0.17917888880519148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688168815690505,0.14242836871194278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134367934917217,0.0,0.03472047560909918,0.0,0.0,0.05574007315939448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074356314525981,0.05953145152033884,0.2624458524401296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044544002699476094,0.07021432872143478,0.0,0.06600572395873011,0.0,0.0,0.1422848747992996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304487189983969,0.054170444984171326,0.0,0.07036722436211176,0.07220455210146194,0.0,0.0469397820042392,0.12986802380780055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161247178509368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22179921495680055,0.0,0.06676390445356263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710153528023209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05125490278901797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04503225164275795,0.050542722180287034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921443354272335,0.05802674648101441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135059860444768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529567645840669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300782839878178,0.0,0.05630788580606581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894831452708206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996658169597126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441503606618865,0.04258227050211177,0.06529260450397523,0.0,0.1550039267377708,0.15276260917302695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902384155151287,0.0,0.06491777793327995,0.2075488708918131,0.0,0.05739657813607101,0.0,0.0,0.313579389929248,0.0,0.0,0.08092540787431457,0.0,0.0,0.05996613171963705,0.0741956619921711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514210489251794,0.0,0.0,0.047208379229838435,0.07265911667258147,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Darkblast12,2019/01/02,"Depressed and anxious and I don’t know why Hi, I have a history of mental illness, mainly anxiety and clinical depression, I’m on venlafaxine currently, I’ve tried cbt and counselling, my mental health problems don’t stem from trauma I believe I just have a low sertononin count, I’m really anxious a lot recently and just out and out sad for some reason which I don’t know why, I don’t have many friends or much of a social currently which I find hard, I’m not sure that’s the reason though, any help appreciated.",4.142202970297031,5.899000188118813,5.456522277227721,78.4285457920792,71.87128712871288,9.010396039603961,30.446782178217827,9.516144504307137,3.0026326732673265,413,18,76,10,8,138,63,101,0.282,0.631,0.087,-0.9465,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,5,0,7,3,0,2,1,21,12,8,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,1,8,2,7,12,4,7,0,4,0,0,4,4,0,3,3,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510345629467633,0.0,0.1294843953004426,0.38243407530914586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906994701986198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915689384746869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15470171886826356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077082424140898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162483644109367,0.0,0.0,0.17991679698692858,0.0,0.0,0.113452250050248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18604311623226474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389986450966186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160434399598035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411510648204213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442649644653195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196015994433685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084330928906207,0.3480575171296682,0.1671250675644055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17254053191973973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952672788189362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662983217425153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491728022548107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054639079609426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,prttimevegetarian,2019/01/02,I trust my therapist but I also don’t at the same time I started with a new therapist a month ago and I thought she was great compared to my old one because my old one continuously breached confidentiality and told my parents shit without even telling me. My new one made my parents sign a contract saying they understand the confidentiality clause and whatnot and that made me feel really safe and I trust her alot but at the same time whenever I tell her something I feel like the way she responds such as I’m sorry you feel that way or that must have been very difficult or that must be hard feel so textbook and empty. I’m sure she’s had training to respond this way but it’s so empty and textbook that I always think she’s only responding because I think what I’m talking about is a problem and she doesn’t think it is so she just blankly responds. I’m always worried that she’s thinking oh god she’s being such a sensitive snowflake or that my problems are small and petty compared to the other problems many others face and that I’m being a baby for going to therapy for the small issues I have. It’s probably my anxiety speaking but I have no idea how to get over this.,4.085301318267419,5.611430788135596,5.123333333333335,81.68315442561206,71.62711864406779,7.617325800376648,30.90772128060264,8.167268648758528,2.2514998116760827,950,42,182,14,18,312,121,236,0.15,0.748,0.102,-0.8377,2,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,1,0,10,11,1,0,13,0,16,2,2,3,3,45,37,23,0,5,9,2,5,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,16,11,0,1,11,0,0,1,4,5,0,3,7,7,33,6,14,25,3,19,0,0,0,0,24,5,1,4,11,124,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697920148756002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748957835428231,0.18206420088470412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836930326484672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338216583890905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225968172544991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212698740491333,0.07815755970375415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057158577393719004,0.0,0.06217627365328494,0.0,0.0,0.1206172471911362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800364250177393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350272516470202,0.0,0.11418835882321438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344880333265184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070396194798172,0.0,0.11091751968528744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732446954180872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113242919377712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296001916412817,0.0,0.2224030110977035,0.0832059482697313,0.0,0.0,0.2429582767490032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795499009272495,0.314051826612485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008639429030855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700169527912813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230065711486399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422381167990423,0.0,0.12246775582933743,0.0774360408183325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311107847353736,0.0,0.0,0.08793402626551726,0.19124617303632746,0.0,0.12511192052291242,0.2540507430811229,0.0,0.28040422389345043,0.0,0.08685380006499724,0.1275875947455244,0.0,0.0,0.10453930120049784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389243178780753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026897262153197,0.0,0.2605171428049741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054606346911614,0.0,0.0,0.11110410629583303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lexikruser,2019/01/02,"What is wrong with my brain? Hi all, I’m a 20 y/o woman with long-time major depressive disorder, anxiety, and recently (as of March ‘18)  epilepsy. I have been having trouble putting into words what goes on in my brain, the last year or so I have not been myself and it gets worse daily. I finally got out of a very toxic relationship a year ago and believe I might have a bit of PTSD as I regularly have nightmares, flashbacks and memories linger in mind almost all day and I have trouble trusting and believing almost anyone. I have been making lots of rash decisions at the spur of the moment that I wouldn’t normally make, some of which could really change/effect my life. I butcher about 50 % if the words and sentences that come out of my mouth, stuttering, missing words, mashing words, or using the wrong words. My doctor had also told me I had a cognitive disability or ‘short term memory loss’ around the time of the depression diagnosis as well. That I have felt has gotten worse with my age. More and more often I forget what I am talking about literally mid sentence-and have to regain my train of thought to finish what I was saying/typing. I’ve had ADD for as long as I’ve had depression and anxiety, so the attention issues I’ve had I chalked up to that. Otherwise I can be looking you dead in the face while you’re talking to me and miss every word you just said. I was dubbed ‘random thought girl’ around this time because random topics of discussion often popped in my mind( they almost always have nothing to do with the current topic of discussion). I’ve never had a filter, I try not to say dumb stuff but words just kind of come out of my mouth.  My mind feels like it’s on overload 24/7 and I either sleep for 15 hours or I don’t sleep at all. I have been suicidal most of my life, and I fight myself just to brush my teeth or take a shower. When people don’t respond to me the way I want it’s almost like my world is ending? You could just say ‘ok.’ And I’ll get upset wondering why you hate me. When people aren’t talking to me or being friendly to me I blame myself for all of the problems in the world, wether it makes sense or not. I feel like I lack self control, and don’t know how to gain it? No matter what I try. I normally have the most patience in the world but now I cry or scream when I’m upset over spilled milk. The bad moods have become a daily thing for me as well believing almost everyone is out to hurt me. I’ve never been good at decision making, I just don’t know what I like or want to do. I’ll like something but than if you ask me again an hour later I’ll tell you I don’t like it and why I don’t like it. My feelings fluctuate between good and bad very often, very, very, very, very, very often. I believe that’s also why I can never decide on anything in life. I’m tired of feeling like this, does anyone know what is going on in my brain ? Or does anyone have better words for me to use to describe this to my doctors because I can’t put these feelings into words very well. ",3.6912662337662354,4.707972866883118,4.84987012987013,85.22694805194806,71.95454545454545,7.677922077922077,25.363636363636363,8.00094639256281,1.3596474025974024,2370,70,487,32,44,782,265,616,0.156,0.753,0.091,-0.9912,3,0,1,0,1,0,62.0,0,6,1,4,26,39,3,2,25,0,51,17,10,8,7,125,89,46,2,11,24,0,6,8,1,2,6,4,1,3,26,31,1,1,16,0,0,5,16,21,3,0,20,12,72,17,76,63,15,65,0,7,1,0,26,30,1,29,37,323,98,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05113453329658128,0.0,0.28881745052483204,0.0,0.0,0.09226181879904988,0.047998786334864665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882581852399326,0.0,0.0,0.12100469809358792,0.0,0.04747008250351506,0.10270428470511177,0.05392796368284298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632962326046664,0.07032884057242635,0.06370887598809033,0.0,0.2599662936509735,0.0,0.051017955492773034,0.06297740154633702,0.0,0.0,0.1931875999619084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938154730674637,0.0,0.0,0.06469896318307262,0.09211402798349397,0.0,0.0633645876300446,0.03720224295182868,0.0,0.1490527796171907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611234544472931,0.11808668709813197,0.10096158040376152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109204927810557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860234880386729,0.055120771217361454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583709146578094,0.12363115836431625,0.05538692925712882,0.06319142080351832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456751565737703,0.0,0.060276371306259124,0.0,0.032783882385225435,0.09676737681304128,0.04613619989261376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056952285978058376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361679109359675,0.0,0.06175330114443734,0.0,0.0,0.06020846064685961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007035766766448,0.09510698824137814,0.04702121440461322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223448899332873,0.2254569698865995,0.0,0.0,0.10209934127111796,0.04844111920780096,0.0,0.0,0.04904197478169607,0.0,0.0,0.1540215288141873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119498183677731,0.17473711051547372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347136657457292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303868228570202,0.05535059612851118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998344029775971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055197036541311854,0.06743102265961556,0.11597930809123268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03695467695653095,0.0,0.056957269395708936,0.061932418481623036,0.0,0.0,0.0548719251414112,0.09174732346461448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017834315749258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545390883273347,0.0,0.0,0.04440895817505262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603586144451537,0.0630983497940668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0433721626558248,0.13909576460742445,0.05041949022556278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038323546637473206,0.0,0.0,0.09159136110082143,0.06727351856555157,0.06630076050724652,0.0,0.055120771217361454,0.0,0.07832905719547417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964314701184157,0.0,0.3807712759322737,0.06804856287888837,0.04578790197195002,0.0,0.0,0.15559802321500374,0.0,0.1561560185131346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625572415058725,0.0,0.0,0.11757248715980373,0.0,0.12613962851918872,0.0,0.07429487711146368
mentalhealth,fux0c13ty,2019/01/02,"Today at lunch... So first day in work after weeks, having lunch with the coworkers, I ordered a large amount of food out of desire (I couldn't even eat half of it) and without thinking I just said ""damn I haven't seen so much food in a looong time!"" which was followed by an awkward silence. Yeah, everyone spent their christmas with their families and friends with all the food and cookies on the table everyday. Meanwhile I was alone for weeks and just cooked a small amount of food for myself when I felt like I should eat something other than sandwiches. 
Sucks when you have no family and it kinda scares me that I got used to this feeling already. 
It scares me too that I can barely talk openly about anything I feel because people find it weird/awkward. More often than not I just don't wanna talk at all, not because I wouldn't like to but because I wanna avoid reactions like that. My life is shitty, my brain works shitty. And they just tell me to change like it's that easy.
Extra points for everyone asking how my christmas was, expecting a positive answer, even those people who know that my family is dead. ",4.8017990654205605,6.38569697196262,4.734661214953274,84.93974883177572,69.93457943925233,7.406074766355141,26.45911214953271,7.8658589789855275,1.5316738317757013,888,28,165,11,16,274,130,214,0.132,0.755,0.113,-0.6582,1,2,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,3,3,14,11,2,4,8,1,13,12,1,2,2,40,26,12,1,7,8,0,3,4,1,2,1,1,0,0,15,11,10,1,7,1,1,1,8,6,0,2,8,5,25,5,27,15,7,21,0,0,1,0,11,9,2,2,14,118,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540931226702855,0.1229673078385116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916985379509242,0.0,0.10417330587156792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20378262000485028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439428184719123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787963348184473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186402692527777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22804425808971565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719876199454407,0.0,0.0,0.21295493349880548,0.0,0.0,0.31514278707584426,0.0,0.11268611606425645,0.0,0.1069916074844382,0.0,0.10184627010044918,0.09478348191116773,0.5389731078914523,0.0,0.08609161413578285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912186062560558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123977679348061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870728493071819,0.21775899070657653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191489181537309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545049881690537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533867969335554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599676774624064,0.0,0.22312451797976732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857853267112929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17912865784075346,0.09739594485795697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140073418116738,0.0,0.0,0.06497653858952786,0.0,0.10562392672014212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624094183044962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876707641487488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741588182383577,0.0,0.16224675555854245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lunedelaluna,2019/01/02,"I feel gulity about my metal illness I live a pretty good life. I'm able to get the help I need and my family is willing to help. I just feel so guilty like I'm a burden to them. I have pretty bad breakdowns every now and then. When I do my mom takes time of work, lets me stay home and calls my therapist to schedule a appointment quickly. I'm grateful for what I have and it makes me feel bad when I just can't seem to be happy with all the wonderful things in my life. Is there anyway I can shake this feeling or do something about it?",1.521739130434785,3.1006274782608725,3.157608695652176,92.906847826087,78.56521739130434,5.9913043478260875,21.065217391304348,6.742157984588678,0.26014782608695697,420,11,95,4,10,139,74,115,0.13699999999999998,0.636,0.226,0.8907,0,0,1,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,1,1,11,7,0,1,5,0,11,3,0,1,1,17,24,9,0,1,3,1,4,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,4,17,3,11,21,1,10,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,8,65,22,1,0.17418713334368072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29087796108110603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786453843292752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467601724715098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420812705854826,0.0,0.3522969934252779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100558786327076,0.0,0.0,0.1460999031961136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542544244093145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335079275461639,0.0,0.17472389709445618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781181453832645,0.24606704721234066,0.085099034819765,0.0,0.15381042999868955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627126409216425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040058653394645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915755225718684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.354421872030681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857342418487966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409776526134048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18566030780880613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309670464182327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022446872841429,0.11572219147128927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156991822852053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888985157855831,0.12681030763294512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fuckingwarriorqueen,2019/01/02,Am I a freak for loving my therapist? I was abused from the age of 12. Abused by a counsellor as a teenager. Raped as an adult. Am in a marriage where there is occasional violence (rarely now). My therapist is kind and gentle towards me. His eyes have kindness in them. I don't have sexual feelings towards him but I love him more than anyone else in the world. The world feels a better and safer place with him in it. I've tried explaining to him that I love him more than his wife does but he doesn't understand and he just dismisses it. How do I get him to understand this?,1.3436936339522558,3.743835318965516,2.8434482758620696,90.56945623342176,83.74137931034483,7.017506631299736,21.854111405835546,8.139509932561175,1.255990185676393,451,15,96,10,13,147,73,116,0.09,0.691,0.218,0.9613,0,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,5,8,1,0,9,0,10,5,1,1,0,13,19,8,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,18,6,17,18,2,12,0,0,1,4,18,10,0,0,2,70,22,0,0.0,0.4085380910285167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054799854011937,0.17664697219831507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247620599423425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087079227751554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144020360066917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174344002499954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007331163221574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590618299543424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4668005891266431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012416053416586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003457187941934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705013798488174,0.0,0.0,0.3589546475347149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CompleteTumbleweed,2019/01/02,"my brain won’t shut up i’m just curious is this relates to any kind of mental illness, like add or something. sometimes my brain won’t shut up. like, i feel like it’s insane. constant chatter. random thoughts just pour into my head, fixation in random words..

for example, i woke up today at 2:30am and it’s now 5:30 and my brain has been going nonstop. it feels like a child hyped up on sugar, it’s so random. random lyrics to songs keep repeating in my head, the most obscure things just pop into my head, then it’s like “hey maybe you DO have adhd why don’t you google every single symptom right now just to check!” and then i was thinking about how my mind is just like a ticker tape like just going nonstop and instantly the word TICKER TAPE kept repeating in my head so loud and interrupting my thoughts.

lmao it’s funny, but i’m just curious if this is just a normal thing or if it’s like part of something else? i have anxiety & depression but like it’s not even anxious thoughts preventing me from sleeping: it’s so freaking random, i’m like ‘where is this even COMING FROM’",2.443829365079363,4.705951226851855,3.44457671957672,88.68666666666668,78.39814814814815,6.151322751322754,23.71164021164021,7.2636822038024595,1.0130584656084651,859,29,169,11,21,275,114,216,0.083,0.769,0.14800000000000002,0.8688,0,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,0,18,13,0,0,5,0,13,11,8,1,0,45,28,17,0,3,15,0,2,10,0,2,2,2,0,1,14,9,1,3,6,1,1,3,4,2,0,0,7,5,16,11,20,19,3,26,0,1,0,0,4,15,0,11,18,102,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681445997006235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433080885058165,0.0,0.07175717634399459,0.0,0.08072246382925602,0.11920749500195554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35338544539051164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089608330326976,0.0,0.11402956644630315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908841680696216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814836826368154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938984787171554,0.0,0.08890509889074752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067081024501645,0.15076692973162945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993882506555673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331755959928447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379096933567008,0.0,0.10988277769039294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5155171173996196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600896066973778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633927905513613,0.0,0.10654505713261296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033871353383077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426781012439145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011345059019137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559614334195283,0.0,0.0,0.16246880718135034,0.10436191692329128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967561855338576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020551629708988,0.06761291562907719,0.0,0.25131313249079323,0.0,0.0,0.10002056320065754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952153315629536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Doctor_Farquad,2019/01/02,Everyone I love is leaving me Hi everyone this is one of my first times opening up about this but I have clinical depression and drug addiction (but I am 4 weeks sober) and I want and need people in my life. I did at some point years ago but since then I have never even gotten a hug from a good friend or even invited to do something. I feel even my family is letting me go. I just want to be loved again and have all the people I knew before to come back but I have hurried myself so deep that I dont think they will take me back. I havnt dated anyone in kver a year and havny had a real friend for as long as i can remember. I think I might kill myself if I dont find someone to care about me and nurture me. Am I selfish? I dont know and I dont know what to do. I'll be honest half of the reason I'm making this post is for someone to talk to me to know I exist. But I also need help. Therapy does not do anything for me and idk why. I found a really nice therapist that I like talking to but jt doesnt work. Anyway I'm endinf the post hear. Thanks for hearing me out.,0.8005572441742679,2.322359617021281,3.135136778115502,92.5166666666667,80.48936170212765,6.348530901722393,20.126646403242148,7.2636822038024595,0.34740932117527823,830,21,195,11,21,286,131,235,0.08199999999999999,0.7090000000000001,0.208,0.9843,0,0,2,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,1,2,12,15,1,0,8,0,26,7,0,2,2,42,51,21,1,5,10,0,1,1,2,2,4,2,0,0,6,11,0,0,11,0,0,2,7,3,0,3,5,3,37,12,25,41,2,25,0,1,0,3,11,8,0,4,14,136,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013602548843447,0.0,0.0,0.08955570866871111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079249025008252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064150709503142,0.0,0.08313788363936629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536942865131131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085967849961318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030053339527006,0.0,0.0,0.087027145100039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701573703128711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841075979837312,0.0,0.4736188052543068,0.0,0.11716103676525172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20018520174951987,0.0,0.0,0.19307420682244625,0.0,0.0,0.0952407201072976,0.0,0.0510830674865076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233825905977026,0.08593482803708345,0.0,0.11077258403422748,0.15610880518458256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057416849839848474,0.08473794955984773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277330235588796,0.0,0.06771730354834953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177311546946453,0.0,0.16656793720796206,0.0,0.0,0.10697464087662653,0.0,0.10330853127890496,0.0713594484967963,0.04935744351910559,0.0,0.0,0.08940708238315798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823644110124875,0.0,0.06743733771456485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717531992665902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498227707071339,0.07791944145481787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845955615017435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008094365664847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955046295259106,0.0,0.1935148368388349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499260119718455,0.06472147236135392,0.10387416965866993,0.0,0.0,0.11444564617569407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357185571477516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120231520370333,0.07777670908892183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596089203764544,0.16240583377687673,0.0,0.09301350983335732,0.1155349449517806,0.1173019265237046,0.0,0.12947002346528447,0.0,0.0,0.05891055653947332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917850578903465,0.0,0.0810390041632053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116254710371446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354998337983237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011814015356954
mentalhealth,awinterofdiscontent7,2019/01/02,"My Gf has extreme FOMO Ok as the title says, my gf suffers from some kinda extreme FOMO (fear of missing out). To go into more details.

She has a great job, pays well, we have a nice apartment, our relationship is a loving one. Outside of work our social circle is wide and we do attend and have interesting hobbies albeit somewhat alternative to social norms. However my gf feels like she is constantly missing out on things.

Like there is always a great need in her to attend various music events and sometimes I feel like this overtakes the joy of experiencing the present. She seems to be in a constant rush to do lots of things because she says she feels her life isn't interesting enough.

In the midst of all this rush often things at present do get a little messy (eg:daily chores not done) and for me it's rather tiring to keep up with one new thing after another with her.

How do I tell her to slow down and enjoy the moment?

Im not the only person who thinks she needs to be more present and slow down. Her family and friends too. ",4.892019704433498,5.967745763546803,5.527068965517241,81.26232758620691,69.19704433497537,7.770443349753695,27.80049261083744,7.957251820313856,1.7147694581280797,822,27,156,10,14,266,123,203,0.043,0.769,0.188,0.9855,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,4,0,0,2,6,18,0,1,12,1,16,3,0,1,1,32,29,9,0,3,3,0,3,3,4,0,2,2,1,1,8,14,0,1,5,0,1,5,3,4,1,2,1,6,21,14,30,26,8,30,0,3,0,1,28,14,0,6,14,112,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107145146018507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395224098908396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111062842469556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28757581640274793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616403824814302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748398536844322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543478684601936,0.14972670076734496,0.20183363820828368,0.19011263593870614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279990891004663,0.0,0.06951706179168557,0.0,0.07561965420796367,0.0,0.0,0.2933927682759518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372495301701793,0.0,0.1320390562310366,0.1182676362740168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398246045978076,0.19501554797491716,0.13335858923535188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312074424531368,0.1200896055693436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732092835036646,0.0,0.12850778072668195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032643649892435,0.10119623879824406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161806930903332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428539797334631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162535886924147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211305677640535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27127076804068523,0.0,0.0,0.13159728829936385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629813612060524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535900123963996,0.08525788537729005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293004423242046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963468890700933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686745834537892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zero-Zero-TwoDITF,2019/01/02,"I believe in delusions and need help So for the past few years I’ve been what I would call mentally f*cked and have realized I should get help though don’t want it to be family or a psychologist I talk to so here’s me on an alt account. Well I’m afraid to open up fully so I’ll give a small fragment of it. For the past few years I’ve been believing in delusions, negative ones and I have to repeat phrases over and over to not get panick attacks and to “save people”, to stop things happening to me and more. Yes Ik none of its real but for some reason I still do it a part of me believing in it. Well I’ve realized long ago it’s bad for me and have now put my foot and realized i need to make a serious change as I think people have heard bits of what I’ve been saying and noticing what I’ve been doing.

So here’s me asking for help and confessing.",2.324238875878219,3.4308812404371603,4.080534738485561,89.08881147540986,75.39344262295083,7.851522248243562,23.453942232630762,8.418075326091056,1.1920729117876665,669,19,153,12,14,226,98,183,0.058,0.8370000000000001,0.105,0.6428,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,11,7,1,1,7,1,14,1,1,2,0,30,26,18,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,10,11,0,1,6,0,1,1,4,4,2,1,5,2,14,3,26,18,7,20,1,0,0,0,10,9,0,2,10,103,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218315965758687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288579081860884,0.15680817180804246,0.0,0.0,0.11508717279498168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4658813884912043,0.0,0.0,0.15048104308151586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074580826027125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458120471566895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993936716888652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402707962888622,0.1322247018338266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188778212866845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771653834476326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198038498864612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200649655224116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389061119731601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20440706444934248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15692702259382602,0.0,0.0,0.09340113548905124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492627876462915,0.2631598201541707,0.19111603892388734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856309429184674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688736720840274,0.0,0.14171820472834626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961259591453756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100758835101316,0.11523693792716963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110787230722995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157201045119198,0.08831964362232342,0.1354230174428679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129915232116175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24786195534587016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791462926712778,0.0,0.0,0.17752352953337044
mentalhealth,lifelovemusic2019,2019/01/02,"I mever thought I would feel valid in any way There is always hope guys...California is now passing a law that provides the option of Nonbinary on State Driver's licenses and State ID cards. I never thought I would feel valid, but now my gender identity(in an umbrella sense) is valid not only socially but legally and I can come out to my family. I'm absolutely euphoric, I've never experienced gender euphoria before. My year started so very rough and now it seems it is all turning around. 
I just wanted to share this for those of you in the state so that if it applied you knew, and most of all to remind you all that there is hope and things can and will change for the better!!!",6.076635338345866,6.381008045112786,6.5975093984962365,77.37265507518799,66.29323308270676,9.657518796992482,30.158834586466163,9.516144504307137,2.58251954887218,542,18,103,10,8,177,83,133,0.033,0.8170000000000001,0.15,0.9477,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,0,1,9,4,0,0,5,0,10,0,0,0,5,33,23,11,0,6,5,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,4,12,4,13,17,4,18,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,6,7,73,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730122201945608,0.0,0.0,0.13673030617804127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898944587811913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17109051904517994,0.0,0.0,0.17782462746720226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21269888292540876,0.1731986950108155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895450944129257,0.0,0.2033278378979841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994035214777949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101456576665306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291811083310225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830409687809617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20495926462113764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231402103546556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335778813205478,0.0,0.0,0.3192444603013295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869972131309476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589872535773068,0.1185926623944284,0.15959511768009166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856599666938857,0.0,0.0,0.12947852101736096
mentalhealth,bachibuiii,2019/01/02,What to do when panicking for no reason I am panicking right now and I can’t put my thoughts together. I don’t do well with change. I can’t call anyone at the moment and I don’t plan to hurt myself or anyone else I’m just so scared. What can I do to bring myself down. I need to pull my shit together ,-0.12413646055437155,1.7313456268656715,2.4085287846481904,94.8423880597015,85.26865671641791,6.216631130063965,17.03411513859275,7.447530270364453,0.06653688699360316,235,5,57,4,7,81,42,67,0.272,0.6970000000000001,0.031,-0.9489,0,0,0,0,0,2,4.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,1,1,0,9,1,1,1,0,8,13,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,5,3,1,0,1,0,11,1,8,12,0,9,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,1,3,40,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.375733432601677,0.27529355122672033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743514632608675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28422692649236336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22444696265306666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28762659854172273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992221932777989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27009676623991025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27624692570613435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294505352459137,0.0,0.0,0.26899471137330383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275795297490683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21330124188517952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415748325878712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dgorrochotegui,2019/01/02,"Asking for advice advice Hi guys, i think i may have some mental issues, ive been depressed since elementary i think, ive had very traumatic experience revolving around my parents, my family, myself and death. I have drug abuse issues and lately i ve been feeling suicidal but not that much (?). Well, ive had anxiety for the past 6 years since i graduated highschool, im a 24 year old male with obesity and such, i feel some identity issues, and ive had some thought loops, i started with the feeling that my house was gonna end in a fire (i accidentally started one in my brothers room about 2 years ago) , then it changed to being paranoid about my house security, people in the past broke in and stealed stuff, but now it has changed and i feel like im having a heart attack or something, i really feel there is something wrong with me overall health, i smoke weed and ive used different drugs in the past (cocaine, meth, wich i didnt know i was consuming it, dxm and lsd, there was a time where i would do a tab of acid weekly) i jus decided to stop using drugs and i wanna go see a doctor ASAP, i wanna start a healthy life for my sake and my mothers, i want to start a normal life, and actually enjoy it, i feel guilty of all of this cos i had everything i wanted when i was a kid but i guess this is something i didnt ask for. Thank you for reading, and any advice or suggestions would be really appreciated, thank you again and greetings from Mexico (sorry for bad english) ",3.0336734693877574,4.88268293877551,4.609325170068028,82.96186530612249,75.05442176870748,7.697197278911568,25.70557823129252,8.488131031819089,1.789809414965987,1160,41,230,22,25,389,164,294,0.161,0.73,0.11,-0.9388,2,0,9,0,1,0,37.0,0,2,0,0,11,12,1,0,13,0,29,9,1,3,1,51,55,20,2,7,6,3,7,1,0,4,8,0,1,3,9,17,1,2,11,1,0,1,3,6,1,1,13,9,41,6,26,36,5,30,0,2,1,0,12,8,0,7,22,147,50,4,0.0,0.10100451777886396,0.08318940295962626,0.0,0.0,0.24990903189936875,0.07556689243610523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057971320863008026,0.0,0.06521421396328395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588847628689703,0.15939007821909815,0.09698150125867093,0.0,0.0,0.07117822154662062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803614068298269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342367045317164,0.0,0.0,0.08906564344721615,0.0,0.08725457539941167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965806064589461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550410932169238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661508520015499,0.08338855310739032,0.08036389146904108,0.0,0.25862261982688506,0.060900933567283176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048448200347765515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390989024669644,0.08440856970481031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906142587071585,0.0,0.10101886802809196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196728670119434,0.0,0.0,0.18416416715135836,0.2669291754198273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04684987546265952,0.0,0.09616305502177927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042586338756076,0.041647692601337216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590957421309077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266682671018498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352459086561971,0.0,0.0,0.08945306168194977,0.0,0.05776600947864718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946574197556601,0.0,0.2441355651485667,0.05909998234064792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527071274765237,0.0,0.10922364666509607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793133483951957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410354632968371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19688340242491628,0.0,0.0954277575984564,0.2413548834157971,0.0,0.0,0.07127084712338948,0.0,0.0,0.09758815651568424,0.09324708576352203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569691535507356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924649564321268,0.0,0.06767710670437453,0.04970858648260357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725318658070696,0.0,0.07033823376328831,0.10056253768222613,0.0,0.0683805175768719,0.0,0.07664786935906127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121114960171039,0.09320491579491046,0.0,0.16469006242825093
mentalhealth,auntjemima890,2019/01/02,"Coping mechanisms? I've gotten in the habit these past few years of dealing with things by cutting myself. I want to stop and sometimes I do for a few weeks. But then it happens again, I feel guilty or stressed or depressed and I can't help but feel that the only thing that relieves those emotions is cutting. 

What are other coping mechanisms I can use and how do I learn to use those instead? ",4.193679653679657,5.87126787012987,4.126688311688317,88.333841991342,71.59740259740259,6.172294372294372,28.417748917748927,6.42735559955562,1.246577489177489,314,12,60,2,6,96,56,77,0.163,0.779,0.058,-0.6045,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,1,3,0,6,0,0,3,0,16,13,9,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,7,1,7,12,2,7,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,6,46,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580763217151346,0.21560642577758773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28158437452440915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25314587853369797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22136349080583484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677890262092013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19038509389934785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23896561005461664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475799732016193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928472406204934,0.2867489288836357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326124988013299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43240460531423947,0.0,0.0,0.14764945134837082,0.0,0.2007973572633348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120249097730013
mentalhealth,truu_raul99,2019/01/02,Pls help Don’t know if this is a mental issue or not but I feel like a complete loser who is not good at anything and is just wasting his life . This type of feeling is generally triggered by very small things like a joke made by one of my friends. Can’t share these thoughts as I’m scared they would think of me as an attention seeker . ,5.218,4.851928085714288,5.395,87.55250000000002,68.14285714285714,8.142857142857144,30.357142857142854,7.1686216300943375,1.5152857142857141,266,9,59,2,4,84,56,70,0.238,0.593,0.16899999999999998,-0.8376,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,1,1,8,0,1,4,0,7,1,0,2,0,17,14,6,0,2,6,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,2,5,6,8,11,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,37,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203717853629055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807770935153804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270809558555688,0.19131220941955784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689711238395606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22461304540176305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949678810257175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795075396323189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717267307389095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18915094273947974,0.2616614104933445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533933197901891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26987353871746345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18146426097888327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268108682451155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779105480449329,0.1715916918560587,0.0,0.2125986590407969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22095823692188976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19023329583678888,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adnawahs,2019/01/02,"Interested in your feedback? How would y’all feel about a letter/pen pal subscription? 

Basically you write letters of encouragement, positivity, venting to others and they write back but it would be in a subscription box and come with other knick knacks like essentials oil calming spray or something (things that ease your stress/mental pain). It would be weekly and you would have a nickname. It would start off random but eventually people can request to send letters to you and you can deny or accept. It’s a way to meet people, connect, vent and spread love in a traditional way. 

Essentially I find it best when relating to people and it’s something about receiving a letter with someone’s thoughts on paper. Obviously a problem would be the longevity of it but it’s an idea.

What do y’all think? This is a fresh idea. ",4.283664459161152,7.076891450331125,4.902887417218548,77.841174392936,74.89403973509934,7.47037527593819,27.94746136865342,8.447377352677275,2.3677493156732896,663,27,112,13,15,212,94,151,0.041,0.748,0.211,0.9814,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,8,1,1,5,9,0,0,10,0,14,2,0,1,1,33,20,13,0,7,5,0,1,1,1,6,1,0,0,0,14,9,0,0,7,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,10,7,16,10,1,14,0,0,0,1,21,5,0,3,5,79,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623396480851862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158634807468234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13021236170785652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643186333475384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815899366046394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412861674666874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384993821292196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642927515375655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16084663475989058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143893290334283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446412675611697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807876075275906,0.23274321970901654,0.0,0.0,0.10699298156959186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315513940633714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042507189557144,0.09685827052241623,0.0,0.12000545135571118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23997013590512695,0.12125274373201345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6442853205032937,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,optransgamerop,2019/01/02,"Venting So I'm fairly new to reddit, but that besides the point. I wanted to kinda vent 

 I hate the fact that I can't function like a ""normal"" human being.  I have a hard time maintaining my room clean,my personal hygiene, and many other things. They all seem like monumental task to complete, but they aren't, they're just normal day to day function one needs to do. It's so frustrating that I end up being irrationally angry and lash out for no reason. 
I hate that I can ""feel""/understand everyone else's emotions, but when they tell me that they care or love me that I don't feel anything or distrust what they are telling me. I don't know what's going on, if I'm insane or just dysfunction. I'm just losing my mind.",4.348333333333333,5.3372693888888865,5.267666666666667,82.944,70.3888888888889,7.982222222222222,26.9,8.238735603445708,1.6855966666666669,568,18,112,8,10,186,88,144,0.285,0.653,0.062,-0.9884,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,5,1,6,9,4,0,4,0,10,1,0,1,2,25,23,12,0,5,10,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,11,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,0,2,19,4,9,21,1,12,0,1,0,1,10,5,0,6,8,71,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140817861129498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446908890618862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941693260723698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207175553701024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142949494175812,0.19248789943706046,0.1515622623898534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16351328452109765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730476646383546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725191011973963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329065046801926,0.33789278109098825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404353195599552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720198597620764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914404356892853,0.0,0.0,0.15444322841025174,0.0,0.0,0.17348966126998067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17278325536872405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688392581047075,0.0,0.1652695621504486,0.0,0.0,0.3353241583936735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595590179754793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941610670417801,0.0,0.0,0.16176449374320814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594071147380475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578197510062364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991342925210903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368507455165963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997819310126022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781428170062303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093149803175144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beancakepotato,2019/01/02,"Effectiveness of chronic depression treatments from those who have had success? (SSRIs or anything else that worked) I'm making this post because my SO has had severe and lasting depression since childhood, severe anxiety that is showing some pretty obvious characteristics of OCD, and they feel stuck in their situation and unable to find a way out. I will call them Van.

Van wants to take medication if it will work, but his anxiety disorder makes him terrified of side effects, particularly permanent dependence on medication or permanent negative side effects. He medicates with weed and nicotine just to get himself through the day, and recognizes that he has the personality type that takes the dosage to an addictive level (i.e. constantly increasing, always dabs rather than herb). Every time he decides he wants to try medication, his family talks him out of it and makes him increasingly afraid of the side effects. Meanwhile, I've noticed he isn't taking care of himself at some pretty basic levels and I'm worried that he's just suffering more and more. I feel awful that sometimes aspects of his life outside of his control are contributing to his depression as well.

I don't want to get involved with the family, so this post is for Van so he can read everyone's responses and make his own decision and feel more empowered to do what he thinks is best. What medications or treatments (doesn't have to be traditional medication) have truly helped you with severe depression? What were some turning points that helped push you to get more help than just surviving each day?

 \*Note - the person I'm asking about in this post definitely wants to try and get help and has expressed this to me in many conversations; I wouldn't be making this if they didn't want outside advice or guidance from others who have been through a similar situation.

**TLDR; My significant other has had severe depression for many years (as well as anxiety) and while they have a prescription for an SSRI, they are often talked out of getting it filled and have deep fears of side effects ruining their life. He tells me he wants to feel better but is paralyzed by his own disorder and fears, and doesn't know where to even start. What are your suggestions for those of you who know someone who successfully manages their severe depression? (does not have to be an SSRI, can be anything that worked long-term)**",9.269109001837112,9.364744471830988,8.64098999795877,66.1002235150031,59.6807511737089,12.385221473770153,38.70953255766483,11.80109367780132,4.860332435190856,1939,86,311,53,23,614,207,426,0.18600000000000005,0.718,0.095,-0.9933,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,4,8,14,14,18,0,3,12,1,38,10,0,12,1,70,72,31,0,10,13,0,4,0,0,3,10,0,0,2,28,23,0,1,15,2,0,4,8,11,2,0,7,4,32,7,52,58,13,34,0,8,0,0,53,17,0,11,9,212,60,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143572842066871,0.0,0.06403368377973225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452495454799753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038735058183966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784873070900113,0.0,0.061260294128254976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03994556038221672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687681093478025,0.05795462587258464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691191664303338,0.0,0.06681066462579137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081302020268718,0.0734957755441661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845209123364281,0.0,0.33863756375759746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020265742915231,0.0,0.05734442475486621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474064645882337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04328095081391625,0.0,0.05521058055444805,0.06261528206795809,0.0,0.0,0.12354886034793923,0.1474755425396526,0.13253269744127644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05989185434809233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117966185973912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568946706426652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202549074025734,0.05341446678081743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256942331918712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799065317350063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21870388553727407,0.13287121114483771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960783691936601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460462222377566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144339029599896,0.0,0.0,0.06194560542268671,0.0,0.18827454416230988,0.13333206813862833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554622473133609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701427189000279,0.0,0.0542058455621218,0.14731354061813756,0.0,0.0,0.05552207844637429,0.0,0.06480935394032426,0.0,0.04638140376284355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478078121158313,0.10533863905262797,0.057274790110373064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04198801161503188,0.0,0.0,0.038210190529402985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897908904560158,0.07127618208831411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23190241345745485,0.05201346668332964,0.0,0.0,0.11783596755089723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311656739287754,0.06654736424227077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042198200277297065
mentalhealth,_blondepotato_,2019/01/02,"I don’t know why I am the way I am :/ I’m a 23 year old trans girl. I’ve been transitioning for three years. My childhood was absolutely terrible. The simplest way I could put it was that my parents hated each other and took it out on me. From when I was four during the day I was forced to go under the back porch like the “little ugly troll I was”.  I was sexually abused in ways I can’t bring myself to describe. I was hit and thrown and psychologically just tortured. And when I said I was a girl it only got worse. They had four more kids but they taught them to gang up on me and to enjoy watching me be hurt. Every night I’d cry myself to sleep and pray for a new family, I’d pray to be taken away and if I couldn’t have that I’d pray to die. I begged for help from the school counselor but since my family are millionaires and don’t “fit the type” the school said it was all in my head and had me put in hospital. My parents came across as so friendly and the perfect family with me being the only outcast. I have high functioning autism. So I have a hard time with change, and I think because of the abuse I haven’t been able to grow up. I feel stuck as like an eight year old girl or so, and I can’t talk to a therapist about it because it’s hard to explain. Like I can’t be a functioning adult. I mean I have a job and stuff and all that but I can’t act like a normal adult. I have a hard time with keeping friendships. I have one friend who doesn’t care my room is filled with all the toys I never got to have growing up. She acts like the closest thing to a mother figure I have. But i don’t know how to explain how badly I want to be normal but I’m just to screwed up :( I don’t know how to get better ",2.5380397022332524,3.1217036559139792,4.073870967741936,91.33849875930521,74.26881720430109,7.120926385442513,22.372208436724566,7.1686216300943375,0.4353106699751863,1328,30,319,13,26,444,172,372,0.145,0.693,0.162,0.8756,3,0,0,0,2,0,27.0,0,0,3,2,12,17,3,0,24,0,42,3,2,3,5,53,69,31,1,6,9,3,4,5,2,0,0,2,2,6,13,21,0,1,9,1,0,11,12,6,0,5,22,7,48,11,42,39,5,47,3,1,1,1,22,18,1,2,20,212,61,5,0.09661316173244924,0.22894159670366826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077124575844196,0.07428955779768197,0.08066795451213359,0.11778897332230885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544649036704087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049971898196184,0.0985035573159276,0.0,0.10220391466484784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713774815884084,0.0,0.10612502155851948,0.062307496709977685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002692086271892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140075565108619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732348715904563,0.0,0.04885051747263108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149286178190361,0.0,0.05047638944400695,0.0,0.05490748626373674,0.0,0.1545407424354559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596392484600765,0.09538549532614007,0.09915297683532756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475776579121542,0.1020771098009915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342638783552588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587365536404292,0.08587421725443854,0.0,0.0,0.1592882011070859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23600155351588015,0.09683176924419548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524005624552796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451402634056005,0.0933095936359161,0.0,0.0906649075308398,0.1893207711625459,0.0,0.0,0.2027585223102052,0.0,0.06546757875818586,0.14695732610666315,0.0,0.0,0.2145549654140819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942458245508758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18380248199796048,0.0,0.0,0.19555535520755027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799194057579477,0.0,0.09668293460241492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059895568722516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765399975902007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217532723016356,0.06418549169524372,0.06190581296966309,0.0,0.0,0.11267182309731374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734077754398924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569849459505053,0.230061092432102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717835124752056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845706569868624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866471257062946
mentalhealth,Sir-Neckbone,2019/01/02,Am I in the wrong place? I need to hear from some people exactly what “hearing voices” means to them. I’m sorry if I’m in the wrong place but I really need to hear some opinions. I always thought everyone went to sleep with the constant babble but mine has escalated so badly I can’t ask my friends or family. I can’t sleep I feel like I might lose my job bc of my inability to work well. Please anyone..,0.4885714285714258,2.79634023809524,2.8574285714285743,89.53757142857144,87.09523809523809,6.217142857142857,19.114285714285714,7.554174236665415,0.6541228571428577,316,9,68,6,10,108,56,84,0.192,0.6679999999999999,0.14,-0.5909,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,2,2,7,0,0,3,0,5,2,2,0,1,15,17,5,0,3,4,0,1,1,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,2,5,13,3,10,14,2,6,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,6,2,40,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242679043449692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442625321870896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396184267182346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469774053665494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139005880655208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270658173047568,0.0,0.0,0.14079019493847084,0.0,0.07551386656230666,0.106692871041166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538441272172345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5049716667092689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14820294221155522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296295205339366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670800648536044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162681665937047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584325923624671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22147645534720134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353776904650544,0.0,0.3120697386359039,0.1639371505867205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567492455111833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29890787652390266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718071199928827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856410723280116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428006373780252,0.1384453145333336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872572662304404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265729925247429,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Whatamidoinghere55,2019/01/02,"Not normal but... Hi, posting from a throwaway account because I know people on here.

I'm wondering if this is serious or not.
I grew up with a very Nmother and a not such a parent father. My mother didn't let my father be a parent so he mostly was an observer. My mother loved to be pampered and tended to. She raised me to jump at the snap of her finger. Any request she had, I would have to drop what I am doing to help her and if I don't I am berated for being a disobedient child that was disrespectful. Sometimes this would lead to strange punishments like hair pulling, getting hit in the mouth or whoopings. If I embrassed her she would get physical.
Anyway, she would call my name non-stop and I would run and answer her. Sometimes, I would hear her and come to her call. She would look at me when I appeared waiting for her request.
""I didn't call you.""
She'll then say it's God because she's religious.
It happened a lot.
Years later I still here her voice. I ignore it thinking it's not really her. 
My parents break up and she moves out. The calling of my name turns into her screaming my name or her screaming in the loudest voice for help.
It happens when randomly when I'm just chilling and it takes some focused task to get it to stop. The screaming sometimes happens when I try to go to sleep or when I'm waking up (something I found out is Exploding Head Syndrome).

Recently, sometimes I see something in the corner of my eye and when I look nothing is there.

I'm a little confused.
My mom calling my name has calmed down, but her voice just turns into a random woman's voice.
With me trying to sleep it turned to my mom's voice again.

I still visit my mother every so often. If that matters.

Any thoughts and ideas are welcomed.",2.191464689027473,4.398131100286535,3.425269678071804,88.78767023428286,78.97134670487107,5.595853699646049,25.45095230069105,6.661559191721324,1.011258823529412,1370,53,269,13,34,444,171,349,0.053,0.893,0.053,0.4582,3,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,1,19,11,1,1,16,0,27,9,8,1,0,65,57,29,0,12,16,10,2,1,0,8,0,10,0,2,13,17,0,3,7,0,1,10,7,7,0,0,7,16,54,4,36,37,3,43,0,0,4,1,53,16,0,17,15,192,67,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243189853114316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078527311051952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220579038502277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712097363324334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696499609284189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063938030912294,0.0,0.0,0.12956925981076545,0.0,0.04698118883981061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193047272926858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483951908405701,0.0,0.09317097868242256,0.0,0.11081901687750906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332024118315016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04543126123227263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845319384521379,0.0,0.040386600468144136,0.08285339479398181,0.0,0.0,0.13883781929007333,0.0,0.0,0.0702799702372788,0.07460960376036126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19363564802051927,0.0,0.08786124204308803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099546625175283,0.07932058743236588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753735792480263,0.0,0.0,0.05731043487363534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917150730307669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295817732043268,0.0,0.08162304262309432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573959542968573,0.0,0.0,0.0658743740185815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545209104365904,0.0,0.0,0.12728118199580046,0.3270365154221142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132034899605211,0.13822553174079522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062154803393346614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052969255875961976,0.0,0.06562784391137612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225004361909688,0.26975173496041016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820839204286774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964812470805916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110665971072455,0.0,0.0,0.05323441577769367
mentalhealth,bless9,2019/01/02,"How do I help my sister? I am 10000000% sure that my sister has either Borderline Personality Disorder or Bi-polar disorder and I’m not sure how to help. She’s been on at least five 72 hour holds, she’s seen about 3 therapist and no one will diagnose her with anything. I know that when she goes to sessions that she’s lying to them (pretty sure she genuinely believes her lies too). But no one ever ends up diagnosing her with anything. She has called the cops on my mom and claimed that we were all abused (we never were), and my mom even lost custody of us for a while and went through a year long trail to get us back. Fell into a deep depression and relapsed. When we got a little older, my sister started telling her friends that me and my mom abused her and she even went as far as to give herself a black eye. I told it might have been her boyfriend when I saw her eye but told me that she fell down the stairs. The next day at school she told everyone that I gave it to her. 
She lied about her first boyfriend raping and abusing her. I didn’t want to accuse her of lying because that could be traumatic for someone who survived rape, but her stories never ever added up and I became suspicious. I still stood by her. One day she never came home from school and we filed a missing persons report. Literally the entire city was looking for her and she was just staying at a friends house the whole time. She started sending text to us that didn’t make any sense and then turning her phone right back off. Whole time we were worried sick and then she just showed up 3 days later and acted like nothing happened. Later on, she got another boyfriend and I started to catch onto a pattern. Whenever she got dumped, she would accuse them of abuse and/or rape. She told me so many stories about this boy and me and my boyfriend planned on meeting up with him to fight him. The boy was terrified and sent us screenshots of messages from my sister threatening to frame him and to kill herself if he didn’t call/text her back. Videos and pictures of her cutting herself included. This is when I started to catch on and became terrified. She eventually started stalking this boy. One night she told him she was going to kill herself and left the house. He called us and her friends and we all went out looking for her and the police got involved. She came home and had no idea that he told us what she said so she was again acting like everything was normal. I called one of the detectives and told them she came home and they came to pick her up. She started cussing me out as they took her away. When she got to the hospital to get checked for drugs in her system, she called me. She had my number memorized. I spoke to her almost everyday while she was on a 72 hour hold. A couple days later her ex boyfriends mom calls me and tells me that she won’t stop calling him and she was telling him that he was the only person who’s number she had. They asked me to please contact her since they thought she couldn’t reach me. Another time she physically attacked my dad after he said something rude to her. He held her down but never hit her. Me and my mom witnessed it. She went to the bathroom a few minutes later and gave herself a bloody nose somehow. She called the police and told them my dad pinned her down and beat her. My mom went into a coma after an accident and my sister never went to see her during the 3 months that she was in the hospital. I didn’t have an issue with it because I figured my sister just couldn’t handle it. However, now she claims that she was there every week. And she genuinely believes that she was there...

Tonight I reached my limit and we got into a physical fight before she drove off with her new boyfriend. As she drove off, she was yelling at my grandma that she was a bitter old bitch. We were all confused because my grandma was never involved. I feel bad because I truly think she needs help and I didn’t want to hurt her. 
I have begged cops and her therapist to please get her real help every time this happens and somehow it never happens. What can I do? Some kind of intervention? I am so lost and so afraid that she is going to really hurt someone else or herself one day. 
I don’t want to enable her but I also don’t want her to feel like she isn’t supported. Please help 
",3.995394180280048,5.371828774795798,4.296287740665112,88.11049345463829,71.63710618436406,7.036530046674447,27.276272607934658,7.413659706084162,1.3372963973162202,3408,119,692,36,64,1065,319,857,0.173,0.75,0.077,-0.9987,2,0,2,0,6,0,71.0,14,0,8,8,33,33,13,2,32,0,52,11,3,4,15,126,126,70,2,11,13,15,2,3,3,4,5,4,3,6,31,64,0,5,8,2,1,23,22,22,0,8,69,16,173,11,87,48,9,122,0,6,8,3,192,36,1,9,64,487,204,4,0.0,0.1907506882317395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04030287381498879,0.0,0.0,0.032186563123544405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027370234509044345,0.08440773560337904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624186806059291,0.0,0.0376267415881446,0.04578826897461295,0.03781461702323696,0.09284541002403413,0.033605662018145584,0.09813999749648997,0.0,0.034248351806095374,0.09069213711053686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32878423879896657,0.18413340125783534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032135004651406215,0.044533995232807794,0.0,0.12978416821745986,0.0,0.03466581490470152,0.08170238541376977,0.0,0.0,0.0922561123377406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667526763678175,0.0,0.033622302797990215,0.0,0.03564806093369408,0.0,0.0,0.05316726519643999,0.07281381071455134,0.06782188290197927,0.03845898997656275,0.03617259047476267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0407015149826274,0.028753404420355656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03423519634764192,0.0,0.0,0.09328724544809157,0.0,0.0630842505110171,0.03860985140536363,0.0457480901010714,0.0,0.19314152651055705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677435662584996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488798640000724,0.0,0.12111702537571745,0.0,0.07927296613116994,0.09288230379544847,0.08617330771255717,0.045435448818217664,0.0,0.04200878422746946,0.0,0.0,0.08905759496797942,0.04191242670243312,0.022119421449145457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04372991222899312,0.0,0.0,0.058989881356312585,0.04033938544146469,0.0,0.035618492410741234,0.06759689594036407,0.0,0.08787158102611027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026866062928805518,0.040805474389198966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04269710203792058,0.0,0.2828300419118696,0.03212582120073601,0.0,0.0,0.029843615735712262,0.2172938733812552,0.038872073622586364,0.04280453982160955,0.03777031731887457,0.03943480336882863,0.038619343936768,0.0,0.04223383630627756,0.0,0.16363980008167914,0.030610657367592543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542982914635728,0.0,0.1325416912397638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040947006088166524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04581139417434863,0.02578410133366728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034371841267122755,0.07657072905190215,0.0,0.0,0.08146688747332567,0.03207269624688675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033293822247453364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820453371525227,0.030985119395172688,0.0,0.0,0.17092778792992955,0.0428993487936882,0.032142356509009214,0.033649393706848864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045673311124023286,0.11380068226821467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553640450140694,0.0,0.0,0.09346279216996237,0.0,0.02578949522395677,0.0,0.031952666487789834,0.09387646504429678,0.0,0.0,0.307671919812502,0.04471735911396727,0.0,0.04377860934215744,0.0,0.0,0.2904826052423109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495799640968604,0.0,0.03228477071191058,0.0,0.0,0.22386354852205764,0.0,0.08987161313958182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0408741177845759,0.0,0.028591248336987576,0.0,0.0,0.025918595395484717
mentalhealth,anjtho,2019/01/02,"I need anti depressants but too scared to make the appointment. What do I say when I call to make an appointment? I don’t want to sound crazy by telling the office worker that I need them. I don’t want everyone I come in contact with to know. The doctor I’m going to already told me I need them, so the she isn’t the issue. It’s the other people there or on the phone I’m worried about. ",1.6929087779690164,3.1688814578313287,3.5354905335628253,90.83373493975904,77.79518072289156,6.670567986230638,21.49569707401033,7.447530270364453,0.6111287435456112,303,8,68,4,7,102,53,83,0.16899999999999998,0.794,0.037000000000000005,-0.8834,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,1,5,2,0,1,8,0,4,1,0,2,0,12,17,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,2,12,0,10,16,0,5,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,1,1,44,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244532965227864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262708394574821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19088242004826247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19085739797303602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268094351479596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211741243521217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259361919361992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23128512258277084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178150821085428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958295876481034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.492924357418123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362442084644104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621934464173422,0.221852868683942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936817160262067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211741243521217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614021358117216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250380608750533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kitkat1025,2019/01/02,"I know I should be starting 2019 right but I just can’t...please help. I have severe depression. I have bipolar depression. I have severe anxiety. There are times when I just cry and can’t stop. The main reason I get out of bed every morning is my little dog here with me, my other three little dogs with my parents, and my mom. There are so many days when I feel worthless but I have to hang on for them. I have panic attacks sometimes before work and I am exhausted all day. I can sleep for 10 hours and still just want to sleep. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. How did you handle this?

P.S. I am seeing a therapist weekly. 

Thank you already for everything. ",1.0129346904156051,3.608287854961837,2.3811577608142507,90.95339906700596,90.29770992366413,5.048515691263783,18.728159457167088,6.691623216298621,0.2898597116200169,523,15,103,7,18,168,90,131,0.264,0.626,0.11,-0.9776,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,1,1,11,8,1,1,2,0,17,4,2,2,1,22,24,10,0,3,5,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,1,2,22,2,11,19,2,16,0,3,1,0,6,5,0,0,10,74,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822588523820362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366723409543252,0.0,0.11661934012608224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342720235178455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297187242912368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745271561359282,0.1966277014401828,0.0,0.26259980692873525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284407521110053,0.0,0.137006951962589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708033119607555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964576461459116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218008514446822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15012675785886473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377930560537812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055781281263283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545544180296454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854071944719166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788603374636758,0.1692711628197747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733787366243608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673795239728686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018645177308988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147823244989067,0.0,0.0,0.3444369447051709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051084412498966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077113988530516,0.0,0.10790073792810156,0.0,0.12174207698137292,0.12745011641842424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035007090281473,0.0,0.17699938142463775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889139655145213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991549597230578,0.0,0.12228148363153565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098114027472476,0.0,0.0,0.1082919341977763,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Barbi3G1rl,2019/01/02,"Fighting my brain I’ve been to therapy/counselling whatever.
Since 2016, since multiple suicide attempts.

2018 was the year I got my mental health back.
I was so proud of myself.
But I don’t know if it is because it’s dark & winter, or because I’m getting bad again?
But my brain hates me again.
Last week at work, I embarrassed myself by getting in trouble, and my brain automatically thought my life was over. I was crying my whole shift ready to go home & kill myself. I was like that the whole week.

Then today, a good dear friend of mine asked me to be a bridesmaid, and it caught me so off guard I feel like I didn’t act happy enough when she asked me, and I was too dry about it. Now I’m home in bed convinced she hates me. But who would ask someone to be a bridesmaid that they hate? RIGHT? Like why does my brain do this to me? 

I’m always fighting my brain. I have irrational anxiety all the time recently. I wake up with an anxious thought then I get stomach pains, I get diarrhea, I puke. I’m convinced even tho I try to be as nice as I can be that everyone hates me, but then the rational part of my brain tells me to stop being do dramatic and everything is fine...

Does anyone else go through this? How do you make it better? ",1.6322529644268755,3.7491324308300413,2.8619383399209504,92.56873359683794,80.42292490118577,6.103335968379446,23.163478260869564,7.24861992348623,0.7759177549407109,967,33,211,13,25,311,143,253,0.145,0.75,0.105,-0.8159,0,0,0,0,4,2,37.0,0,1,1,4,12,24,7,1,8,0,22,11,8,2,1,21,46,20,2,2,6,0,1,3,1,1,3,0,3,0,11,5,0,2,4,0,0,4,2,11,0,0,12,1,41,13,22,28,5,28,0,0,0,0,12,7,0,2,20,133,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718856625450638,0.18721294873977604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609019316379151,0.09759918116368982,0.0,0.06040779748636192,0.0885195494936689,0.0,0.0,0.24229658883467076,0.0,0.0,0.06643066780068957,0.07213431129783747,0.10532839862458757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640733885866295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5786570736129294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489834455193112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120570025016214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217003061182996,0.0,0.0,0.08926677241089755,0.0,0.05706157576160606,0.0,0.0,0.0825519447785863,0.07764420472796585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04368275427017541,0.061718975338460075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674679998504351,0.0,0.18054651869459296,0.0,0.09819794565720333,0.07246211337952707,0.06909614908706611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196665527948934,0.0,0.3411796942053007,0.0,0.09183141983006296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17331788131818687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558074284309913,0.0,0.047479178707420924,0.07042159623719263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061021731992976364,0.1266213551419143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576678104304963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706354043550818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192794359373034,0.0,0.0,0.09355489519619244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530238699586,0.0,0.0,0.07377890953327235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292989895547334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320027000633607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222818105242823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449961190272813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551104385771272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717233661290024,0.05037628889284665,0.0,0.08189019547600693,0.0,0.0,0.05865498487549136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859805525954486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795599089319888,0.19290876982423305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289492797990855,0.0,0.0,0.061370908474304986,0.0,0.0,0.055634078199414114
mentalhealth,islolatedintrovert,2019/01/02,"In memory of a friend I couldn’t stop If you are thinking about committing suicide please find your country and call 

http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

I lost a great person a year ago today. Anyone looking for a sign to stay alive here it is. ",8.699883720930233,12.350293813953492,5.616453488372091,73.9423546511628,64.34883720930233,7.090697674418602,24.703488372093023,8.07648339933343,1.5726325581395355,226,6,33,3,4,62,39,43,0.17800000000000002,0.5539999999999999,0.267,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,2,11.0,0,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,6,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,2,5,4,0,6,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,1,4,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405061107820176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897111237660516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770449466883426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24797878206737625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209618806840446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991279013458835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278379097551129,0.0,0.2961745072662603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369035004184873,0.0,0.2978245422602137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28918777476505536,0.0,0.22683312362327984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967767128667413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17384894982898622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25717674961882697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471922390949735
mentalhealth,throwawayyy12654,2019/01/02,Influenced Depression? I have a really depressed friend and she also has low self-esteem and I feel myself acting more like that please tell me your opinion on this ( I love my and wouldn’t leave her for anything ) ,3.70525,6.376831025000001,3.945000000000004,84.59000000000002,76.25,7.0,22.5,8.07648339933343,1.4169999999999994,171,5,30,3,4,53,36,40,0.21,0.516,0.274,0.6419,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,7,5,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,9,3,2,4,1,3,0,3,0,1,6,2,0,1,1,22,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435816986393865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506528373550141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5246883953900017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401060558423904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353266239332612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32251840060147696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880801291886206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749057051484285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33434998085792866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19512910330430855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177553453510911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662263812601318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chermychermy,2019/01/02,"Men with eating disorders I am a male with bulimia, and it was hard for me to get the help that I needed. I always thought that EDs was a ""girl thing"" (not saying all girls have it, but I'm saying that most to only girls have it), so I was in denial when I started seeing myself as fat, even though in reality I was skinny. I hated myself, not only because I thought I was fat, but because I had a female disorder. Then I realized that mental disorders don't discriminate. They don't care who the person is, they'll still torture them. This is when I got myself help. No one should feel bad for what they have or are suffering from and how they cope with it. I also cut, and given that action is more of ""a girl's thing"" to me, I felt even worse. But as I said, no one should feel bad for what they think. I'm still getting help and I haven't recovered yet (I recently started getting help), but it's a first step away from things escalating too far.

If anyone needs help with what they're dealing with, just message me! Ask questions if you want!",3.6254929577464807,4.530791361502351,4.8503474178403785,85.57974647887325,72.00469483568075,7.745727699530518,24.998122065727703,8.021203637495839,1.273840938967136,812,23,171,11,15,269,115,213,0.203,0.736,0.061,-0.9882,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,6,1,13,7,3,0,7,0,20,4,3,1,1,35,43,20,0,7,10,0,4,0,0,3,2,3,0,7,18,9,4,0,8,0,0,2,7,6,0,3,12,8,30,1,19,28,3,16,0,1,1,0,27,4,0,5,10,128,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945218560170792,0.09834912057869273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264587886569348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049795646509528,0.0,0.11104968778094852,0.0,0.19737861010169197,0.1441032190556265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050941015348125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185560477436068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40639096508744266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094472903441655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561356074716672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952760299687586,0.0,0.1134873649927308,0.0,0.0,0.1005380502250996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852586876349624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453269619414292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588102445973857,0.11669476810957885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961237731408708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911447057933047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528270656127126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018628190293518,0.17978782867756568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320479690263007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324073514062341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670497909158138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243212577226652,0.18798951530237967,0.0,0.0,0.09418746466006364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732046121250588,0.0,0.18878407006877929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.235573900741378,0.07573567096789041,0.11612765484415473,0.18766994969471185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971547435691443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204525322343126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nebulae_Divinity,2019/01/03,"I can't function anymore and nothing is helping I've tried 3 different pill combinations, not including upped dosages, and I feel like my life is never going to get better. I'm constantly anxious and stressed. I can't go to school. When I do manage to make it to school, all I can think about all day long is going home. 

I can't get any homework done. I've been sick for a month and out of school and all my assignments are around my ears. My dad keeps telling me I'll never survive college, that I'll flunk the first semester. He knows I have depression and anxiety. 

I feel like I'm never going to get better. I seem to be fine the first couple months of a new antidepressant or an upped dose, but then the slightest stress comes along and demolishes it. 

It seems like all I can do is sit around and nap or mindlessly play a computer game, and sometimes even playing the game is too much for me to handle. Life seems pointless and like I'm just going through the motions because other people expect me to. 

I'm trying so hard but nothing I do is enough. I'm incredibly touch starved, I have no friends that I see on even a weekly basis and only two that I text regularly, and those conversations are mostly small talk. It feels like all I can do is have panic attacks and break down and cry.

 I can't even handle two days of school in a row, let alone a whole week. I'm terrified for what my future is going to bring because the one college I had serious hopes of attending rejected me. I can't even get up the motivation to email their admissions counselor. At this point I'm basically a nonfunctional person. I hate myself so much but I'm trying so so hard to shut the negative thoughts up and not let it get any worse. 

Is there anything I can do? Can anyone help me? Should I go see my psychologist asap and request a meds change? How can I deal with school in the meantime? How do I not flunk out of my senior year? ",3.9611991117690586,5.14585474611399,5.010262768319767,83.69534974093266,71.48704663212436,8.104959289415248,27.77535159141377,8.527137837955566,1.8799714285714288,1516,54,309,25,28,498,194,386,0.17800000000000002,0.7290000000000001,0.093,-0.9889,1,2,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,6,17,22,2,3,18,0,38,6,1,4,8,58,75,29,0,3,9,1,6,5,1,1,5,1,2,1,12,23,0,1,10,5,0,11,13,10,0,5,4,9,37,12,36,67,10,48,0,4,2,0,15,16,0,7,24,200,49,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976606385510639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474798047369427,0.0,0.0589175570708131,0.08700693780732828,0.07637986151015333,0.0538518603978713,0.0,0.06337817364936317,0.13712236523061053,0.0,0.08761760340219464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389731880132207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623000727740558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147344600558425,0.06634305893910097,0.0,0.08322768124460084,0.0,0.0,0.08521750263996225,0.08459921757540415,0.09933878727816424,0.07940082563186363,0.06633436227121972,0.0,0.0,0.08046604891694997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881481352675937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957882866240082,0.0,0.20347518961871228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682585771893585,0.16506221624336442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102071439508084,0.0,0.0,0.059502903670849885,0.0,0.20119020897629067,0.0,0.30639251857000305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798365329880494,0.07603803659237998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324532777309572,0.0,0.07725401965953996,0.0764949509701305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684559728039232,0.0,0.0,0.04232635868134185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750956719698891,0.10879833164796247,0.18813232243268785,0.0,0.0,0.06815734710475121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051409238641006834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554818045603181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294797440351142,0.0,0.11323225765544913,0.0,0.1782000578439,0.07438319915463616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779918247535334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218850237353901,0.0585746632745874,0.0,0.0903624915801093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05339367556280866,0.06724800306404799,0.0,0.0,0.07280566607477569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897250101880165,0.12274466114265392,0.2103393061826564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761714757536798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644471643969506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06190309810765205,0.06731598173631713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04934918517509949,0.0,0.061142649037944564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15686783107101387,0.0,0.15046823039774468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123556286337679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859863839965781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848658686289194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04959622328947683
mentalhealth,Ackerdan5689,2019/01/03,How can i free myself? Every day i go to school i feel as if  i'm wearing a mask. I'm always acting like i don't care as i disregard everybody. I think i socially boxed myself into this one - dimensional persona of being a weird and and hungry for attention. Is there a way to fix these?,1.075499999999998,3.0939142166666684,4.240000000000002,82.47500000000002,81.83333333333334,7.333333333333335,21.666666666666664,8.344100000000001,1.4701666666666668,223,7,45,5,6,81,45,60,0.08,0.773,0.147,0.5641,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,4,1,1,1,0,9,10,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,1,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,9,4,7,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,31,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092791427618377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789667548392712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397118487265107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131681844912273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879396296262357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112422378718052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815908893241121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25186944050763155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761741218987591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37889517421307467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381664752629869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29503335713431394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gakore,2019/01/03,"Is this normal? Was told to post here, please feel free to redirect me to a better subreddit if this one is bad for this. I am a male in my early teen years, not much going on in my life that I can think of that would cause this other than depression maybe. But early morning a couple days ago, no one was up, no pets, and I had gone downstairs to my living room. while walking around I would get tunnel vision for no reason and I would hear sloshing/clicking/rubbing or running noises all around me. I would turn my head and see black or while marks go behind things, then I would just forget everything and stare at something without realizing it. I would also try to do things I couldn't for example, I tried sitting down where there was no chair, I also would laugh at nothing. I mentioned that this happened a couple days ago because that's the most recent occasion this has happened. I rarely leave my room at 3 am and when I do, this happens. It's not fear because I have no fear when doing it, the fear just comes when I can bearly see thanks to tunnel vision, and partially because of not knowing what I hear and what I see.",8.471599999999999,6.1684157377777815,8.026777777777777,77.5895,62.73333333333333,10.422222222222224,34.5,8.238735603445708,2.5735333333333323,891,27,176,8,10,283,127,225,0.08900000000000001,0.787,0.124,0.7865,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,12,9,0,3,6,0,23,2,1,2,1,38,42,19,0,10,10,0,1,0,0,7,1,2,3,1,19,10,0,0,5,0,1,6,10,5,0,2,6,8,25,5,24,28,3,35,0,1,5,0,5,13,0,4,14,134,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17601046217358488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878746045856654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675949551848896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289418333371007,0.18155947070283607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780459453254384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198733000124892,0.0,0.08552044452782705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21970161834143506,0.0,0.12805404789493086,0.0,0.0855092339669182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892259567703542,0.0,0.0,0.3351509052434408,0.050198666568566565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186940843982722,0.0,0.11284558435294775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26337743588276913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018893449025594,0.0,0.22379028274492668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054561382419754584,0.0,0.0,0.10512258939963386,0.0,0.0,0.07012400268550076,0.0,0.0,0.087665562117943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997395389431789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298180973590995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727276964278868,0.09526129777754357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345486323241005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089790092222804,0.0,0.0,0.09508225766893316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207579662594717,0.09802646728325927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373385735945577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643016127381963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140316735540673,0.0,0.0,0.13191369356339802,0.06361425476528912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486575697348608,0.0,0.13480844225792826,0.10798751909556717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570183486967553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4936768470962754,0.0,0.0,0.06393270268877513
mentalhealth,kingsammy97,2019/01/03,"Scared I may be advised to go to the hospital I’m seeing my psychiatrist on Tuesday for the first time in a month. Almost the entire duration I saw her I lied to her about how I’m feeling and after spiraling back into a deep depression again, my girlfriend and mom have convinced me to come clean. I have to tell her that I haven’t been taking my medication in months out of fear of committing suicide via overdose. I also have to tell her that I just don’t care about myself and it almost seems like I don’t want myself to get better. I lost interest in everything again and I just wallow in my sadness and just let life go by. I’ve lost excitement in major life events coming up in the near future and events that I’m going to. I’ve lost interest in doing anything and force myself to go to work. I just feel like sleeping all the time. I have almost no emotion and as my girlfriend says it’s like I’m blank all the time. I just feel like dying to get away from the depression and anxiety. Maybe it’s just the anxiety speaking that’s making me think I’ll be sent somewhere, but I fear starting to be honest with my psychiatrist. It was already hard enough coming clean with the people I love. It’s a start I suppose. ",2.896939324116744,4.6916257983871015,4.336682027649772,85.0047849462366,75.29032258064517,7.143164362519201,24.712749615975426,7.957251820313856,1.4118507680491548,970,32,192,15,21,322,123,248,0.121,0.7290000000000001,0.15,0.8121,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,6,13,21,0,3,12,0,15,5,1,2,3,38,46,13,2,1,7,1,4,4,2,1,3,2,2,0,9,16,0,0,5,0,0,8,4,9,0,1,7,8,31,12,36,34,4,38,0,6,2,1,14,14,0,5,20,129,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188032277180553,0.0,0.11711034747720467,0.08486723353807685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623689651017663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733091608939918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970688456999152,0.08160271793339689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093857953372256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820037487608583,0.0,0.0,0.2742489936067876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18280869554245685,0.0,0.11013983918564603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937508821060562,0.0,0.10965434325794322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953773061048974,0.0,0.0,0.23883775258365866,0.16097827674822854,0.15162985116432498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026892347918668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110890700986892,0.0,0.2412506008563901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506615727532694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851886386202324,0.14991687870939946,0.20738708129987826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475402744778235,0.0,0.09578095074507746,0.0,0.07083851817529895,0.0,0.10661570781503367,0.0,0.0,0.10690865065505033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429101302504166,0.16941414713837438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357294052172644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439397389210257,0.10624852365480006,0.0,0.08456699748067413,0.09661120035932426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620052770835174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023006588925478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608230701594352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979195522213668,0.0,0.1855139084636248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799990125070668,0.0,0.0,0.1856450745936176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259461771885856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725945316076614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JayKayVay,2019/01/03,"Depression, is this just my life now? It snuck up on me, it's robbed me of so many years and due to this happening in my 20'/30's I also feel like it's robbed me of a future too - I've not been able to work, I've lost friends, I've been single, also all this means I'm not in a secure place in my life and it looks like I'll not be able to have children. I'm 'high-functioning' but I run on autopilot so time can just vanish, I honestly don't know what I've done with myself in the past few years and I now find myself with nothing.

I'm not sure how to pull myself out of depression - for the record I can't take antidepressants and I don't feel they'd help me anyway as it feels more situational than anything, I've tried therapy and between therapists now but it doesn't help.

I want friends and a partner...but do you know how difficult it is to make friends when you have no friends? I'm not great at making friends anyway, financial struggles limits my options in meeting people or taking up new hobbies (it's not for lack of trying! I've tired many hobbies but nothing sticks while I'm depressed!). I'm also clearly not someone people want to spend time with, I think it's as I'm boring as I do nothing but also I just seem to have forgotten how to have fun.

It just feels like a massive uphill struggle...

Getting a job when you have no job and have been out of work for a long time.

Getting friends when you have no friends and no social life or enjoyment in life.

Getting back a sense of joy when you're unemployed, lonely, and left hopeless.

My entire life is ruined, it's frozen and I don't feel capable of getting back.   
Any attempt to change my situation fall flat. I'm worried my life won't improve. ",2.826682808716704,4.248900259887009,4.074047619047622,88.37199152542374,74.6497175141243,6.978046811945117,26.48466505246166,7.5804360353943165,1.3123037933817594,1348,49,287,17,28,442,157,354,0.18,0.667,0.152,-0.7199,4,3,0,0,0,1,39.0,0,4,1,5,25,28,0,2,9,0,25,7,0,5,3,56,56,33,0,3,17,0,5,3,7,1,7,0,0,1,15,15,0,2,11,0,1,3,17,11,0,0,5,6,30,17,40,48,5,38,0,7,1,0,17,15,0,4,23,176,45,5,0.16097143567941902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25745759791090705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473304810386965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623288795447756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377709786373313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514321744907619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079666925153925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236483339439599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20347998632496,0.11499802581299065,0.0,0.0,0.07356248798377403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4352814616465286,0.0,0.16820186258299955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887357880578243,0.0,0.0,0.07117325447749004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789576020367812,0.08503757987019943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597393116118298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846569128268061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744796793087646,0.0,0.34109665653386945,0.11796376873752085,0.0,0.0,0.07122732755030695,0.06758773213933633,0.0,0.0878596686790518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744968327969537,0.16319977031305527,0.0,0.08767254192414878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773360782784422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23168465093704604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683272482680589,0.11159732530616294,0.0,0.0840904446306873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732711746891138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093863814243588,0.0,0.08204505353213404,0.06819528753955942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828229521788815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585683655458088,0.0,0.1210304864885754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204243274957083,0.09345012184806327,0.0,0.05157199812083845,0.0,0.0,0.1407956079639963,0.09250649272935103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928903838377672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494512338980864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718912233516307,0.08173715333594117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366032692171706
mentalhealth,carbohydros,2019/01/03,"I can’t control myself. I’m not a bad person. I just don’t think before I react and I say the most horrible things I don’t mean, and scream and it’s just so scary to be around. I feel ashamed when it happens. It hurts my loved ones but the emotions are near impossible to control. I only think of my coping strategies after I’ve already reacted and it’s too late. Every time. 

I just want to control my reactions/emotions but I’m giving up. I feel alone. What works? Strategies? Medications to mention to my doctor? I’m beginning to think nothing will work after all these years in therapy/on meds with many different diagnoses ",1.6572849462365582,4.281748008064518,3.4307741935483875,85.18949462365593,85.04838709677419,6.2098924731182805,25.20215053763441,7.554174236665415,1.65565440860215,499,21,93,9,15,166,80,124,0.12,0.8029999999999999,0.077,-0.6149,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,5,7,5,0,1,3,0,6,4,0,5,1,26,20,8,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,7,6,0,3,6,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,0,4,14,1,14,18,2,11,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,1,7,60,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528723494191567,0.16288374726232954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313980978727533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324246550732525,0.0,0.0,0.12559940982166562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4966484536261172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14981409101218998,0.0,0.15421387682806487,0.0,0.1510780792966982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320673555562521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243620205975378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926517601807204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415943919658291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052497876124566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801222570295606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650278321211198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321760638395827,0.0,0.0,0.14964642765274125,0.0,0.1607831025376697,0.16395382575982978,0.1486946457642732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416292040452206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001971496302442,0.11225884741520856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288813779356313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737994985097785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980609746976038,0.2837344171830609,0.0,0.0,0.08606858420855026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706016259139918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21491370341486746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505158973810954
mentalhealth,throwaway99vv,2019/01/03,How do you know if you can trust yourself? After past abusive and manipulative relationships I look for red flags constantly but sometimes I worry to extremes and I can’t tell when I should trust that I feel something is wrong or if I’m creating an issue that isn’t there. Mostly I’m concerned about not being able to spot another covert NPD...I get convinced that they might be evolving to a new level that I cannot detect. I apologize if this sounds all over the place but feeling like I can’t trust myself is awful and I know it comes from past gaslighting but I don’t know how to overcome it.,2.9378304048892296,5.131872882352943,3.899679144385029,86.372192513369,76.47899159663866,6.3440794499618045,25.10389610389611,7.348242739294969,1.2067411764705878,479,17,93,6,11,154,77,119,0.127,0.696,0.177,0.7473,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,1,0,5,6,0,0,3,1,13,0,0,3,1,24,23,13,0,4,8,0,2,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,5,14,5,9,19,2,10,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,6,7,63,21,0,0.20211384009031946,0.23947185060731874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21193398396505608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17410317685535698,0.0,0.21841325888049826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438966078214105,0.14439016774477906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559613950607513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109543382300994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332294423402476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987426131037278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972472200449806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21441084455052656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19520280621028524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858810600478235,0.0,0.0,0.2111659451563629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21699462526388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559710849035008,0.1998957558868352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665640476704886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052564154509871,0.0,0.0,0.22097975577659912,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,troway33,2019/01/03,"Waiting to die Tldr; venting about my worthless existence

For a long time I've been surviving for my kid, waiting for her to turn 18. The first year of her life our family (husband, me, and her) was stable and comfortable. The past 13 years has been struggle after struggle, though. We're still all together and there's so much love but sometimes I think it's more out of habit than anything else. I knew it wasn't going to be easy (he got PTSD from a couple combat deployments) but I never imagined it'd be this hard for so long. I used to think that pushing through all this was so I could ""do my own thing"" together with him once she was off doing her own thing but I don't even know what that is anymore. I used to think it would involve art but I lost what little inspiration I had when I got pregnant and it never really came back. School is expensive so finishing my degree is not an option. Hobbies are expensive so exploration of interests is extremely limited and just painful. We have so much debt I'm starting to doubt it will ever be gone and afraid we're going to be stuck here in a place we hate for the rest of our lives. Previous attempts to live elsewhere have failed. I'm geographically and emotionally isolated from anyone I ever called a friend and convinced it's better for them this way because no one likes a chronically depressed wet blanket which is what I've become. Trying to make new friends destroyed the last vestiges of my self esteem (please no platitudes about how they were the wrong people and I should keep trying). I've lived so long without getting things I wanted that I don't know what I want most of the time. Routine rules my life. Sleep, eat, work, provide for others, repeat. I'm 35, that's too young to be just waiting to die but I don't know what else to do with myself beyond raising her to adulthood. I'm so unhappy. And tired. And lonely. And done. Everyday I find myself thinking ""I'm done."" There is no more magical someday. It's passed and I didn't even try to catch it so now I'm just waiting to die and trying not to drain too much from anyone else. And I have no one I feel safe talking to about it except you, kind reader. Thank you for getting to far.",3.613375733855186,5.2871980479452105,4.45815133724723,85.38916438356166,73.08675799086758,7.288819308545338,26.66953685583823,7.957251820313856,1.5895575212002608,1747,62,344,25,35,563,229,438,0.188,0.7040000000000001,0.108,-0.9899,1,2,0,0,0,0,47.0,4,2,2,8,32,25,2,4,12,0,38,8,1,4,6,71,78,32,3,5,12,1,3,1,2,3,5,0,0,2,27,21,1,7,13,1,3,8,14,13,0,3,18,3,44,12,49,50,11,41,0,5,0,1,25,7,0,3,26,238,71,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432603743954048,0.11890867321083433,0.08712238006930573,0.06997171948649646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538214350947873,0.0,0.05183296136024153,0.09390798086581276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752013454000325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682423670396347,0.09725065942526218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788883215396832,0.09408310222147157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323545507695549,0.0,0.26474040157428314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402861918948168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700601565806622,0.2130927531559675,0.0956463135849573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232186153888384,0.15382741118958213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015788542257564,0.0,0.04299327709832623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771507377825926,0.07232572466739963,0.0,0.0,0.13138657189218528,0.0,0.088848409825139,0.0,0.0966480149583656,0.0,0.13601110707232725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761693886586378,0.08394865077970619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557778727913017,0.0,0.08854474217237962,0.14018933929466953,0.06931008017503178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011716186060427,0.04154093225984088,0.08522151458005127,0.22524680803836425,0.22574428220078616,0.0,0.0,0.09281932708736018,0.0,0.07674209910753499,0.0,0.0567575967888281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875185567824276,0.0,0.13115939596613374,0.08212165239331885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055323603764713,0.11523586238709227,0.0,0.09047697696807068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116991475080305,0.05894848452881205,0.0,0.0888373311946975,0.0933364382297843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993944891896244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447183053716005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605400730105094,0.0,0.0,0.08870391464490067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509052540476797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409597227897564,0.0,0.060184047640585873,0.0,0.06790436378473184,0.0,0.0,0.17778179268919864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834318451802253,0.0,0.07828338819335101,0.0,0.0,0.16946870409460793,0.21793290296202328,0.08354067710408328,0.0,0.09916232544128872,0.0977284633034062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309167597219833,0.09248726408489318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687571547717512,0.0,0.0,0.10030475411261852,0.06749215640017575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196503585907322,0.0,0.061902210881553475,0.0,0.0,0.06040224610134722,0.09296599286742316,0.0,0.1095119289110593
mentalhealth,watermeloneating,2019/01/03,"Is not feeling love normal Only time I think I’ve really felt “love” is when high on marijuana. 
But  it just isn’t there. When friends/family tell me they love I feel guilty and don’t say it back unless necessary, because the truth is I don’t love them or care about them. (or anyone)
It’s really confusing to me because I only care about myself, while at the same time, no one could hate me more than I do. 
I’ve been diagnosed with PSTD (personally disagree with this one) Depression NOS, and ADHD inattentive.
Is this a symptom of anyone of these disorders? 
Personally to me seems like a symptom of sociopathy, as in lack of empathy. However, in my mindset, I don’t actively try to manipulate people and put others down for personal gain. 
Is this common, because I personally don’t think I’ve ever met someone with the same issues. 
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mentalhealth,honeyguts777,2019/01/03,"living with intrusive thoughts. hi! i'm katie, and i'm 16, going on 17. i'm currently in therapy, and on medication for depression (trinitellix). i think i may be suffering from intrusive thoughts, so often and severe, that i have considered relapsing back into self harm. these thoughts include but aren't limited to: thinking that i could be a pedophile, and thinking i could condone/engage in incest. i often question if i could do these things, and am terrified that i will, even though i have never in my life thought of children in a sexual way, and never thought of having sex with a family member. i myself am very embarrassed to talk about this, even with my therapist. is the fact that i have these thoughts worrying? should i be institutionalized? am i a pedophile??? if anyone has any advice, it would be appreciated. i don't want to live my life like this.",4.917971153846153,7.0050906625000025,5.877500000000001,74.84519230769233,70.5,9.423076923076923,31.68269230769231,9.851270322608157,3.4610336538461537,686,31,118,18,13,226,94,160,0.14800000000000002,0.79,0.061,-0.9146,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,5,0,23,5,0,0,3,36,37,11,0,8,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,11,10,0,1,10,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,6,0,18,1,18,20,0,13,0,2,0,2,5,7,0,6,5,93,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766570995656748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884372580110722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135068566347218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045867098606594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31293048010861085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252516499438547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17258083518233594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316137413631728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424910392201547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845581957921752,0.06382701181616672,0.0,0.2307255341677717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161204961929984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20152442087162195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635336333587798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136292218305695,0.14759273621107247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050082655463976,0.0,0.0,0.14940502932983152,0.15169001707694788,0.08679536375558491,0.2511379478464886,0.12835898220338393,0.6223097443576592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779659081025664,0.07705836602219196,0.10370067376213216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326773035727934,0.0,0.0928071342144806,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eightyeightysix,2019/01/03,"There are zero private psychiatrists in my region, I'm terrified of having to see a public psych again My meds are now aren't working even at the max dosage, I have an awful track record with public psychiatrists and don't know what to do.

For context I'm in New Zealand, more specially the Hawkes Bay Region. ",8.116499999999998,7.121213650000001,8.140000000000004,72.32500000000003,62.5,10.666666666666668,33.333333333333336,9.725611199111238,3.0358333333333336,249,8,45,4,3,81,46,60,0.119,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.7906,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,11,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,8,11,1,6,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,3,30,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273976453932511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724174912196199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5505982896777901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.478739138775189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949996372334301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608672044709862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Theoneandonlydeafman,2019/01/03,"15 year old male with an unusual case I'm a 15 year old freshmen in high school. I come from a good family, I'm a three sport athlete, all honors, you get the jig. I've never ever gone through with any thoughts of hurting myself. But when I do think about hurting myself I get really mad at myself for thinking about it. Anything that helps is really appreciated. I don't know weather this is normal and just want to see what I can do to help.",2.2693681318681307,4.083700483516484,4.017678571428572,86.51794642857145,77.13186813186812,6.747802197802199,23.46291208791209,7.6454224807358475,1.070636263736264,348,11,72,5,8,117,67,91,0.093,0.735,0.172,0.7579,0,0,0,0,0,2,9.0,0,1,0,1,5,5,1,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,3,15,18,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,3,0,1,2,1,9,2,12,16,1,12,0,2,1,0,4,3,0,0,7,44,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154983659508712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918948221369442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666365026454847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749828796351676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823635658721666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20213498338144364,0.0,0.0,0.1622532319056412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25932540057262154,0.20438620036539684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4141756456160107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631280036170024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14919739349366098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18953589665498005,0.0,0.0,0.4059778342811472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478527771528056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957775650677195,0.15415132629015724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24790462657236095,0.0,0.15357442603778526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140993960698734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24914561750821046
mentalhealth,Javko-vo,2019/01/03,"Am I okey? I fell worried everyday about my past and need help forgetting it Title says it all. I have had a rough past and have done some fairly bad things. I am a relatively nice person and try to help everyone I can. I just can’t get over my past. The experience did change my for the better as it made me realize what I had done wrong and how to improve my self as a human being, but I cannot forget the experience. I want to forget it and I cannot. Due to this every day feel depressed and cannot stop worrying. Any help?",1.0127518427518432,2.985491765765765,3.4409500409500424,88.36570024570022,81.7927927927928,6.91924651924652,20.000819000819,8.00094639256281,0.8112990990990991,410,11,91,8,11,142,68,111,0.092,0.6990000000000001,0.21,0.8553,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,6,1,15,0,0,2,1,20,20,10,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,7,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,6,3,15,2,9,13,2,9,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,1,7,63,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105639496085254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357523889942409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379396711682405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719942654332424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485441935134253,0.0,0.1400349496821214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327635351735052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698558631369884,0.15535774194256022,0.0,0.3180803075189738,0.0,0.0,0.0822082881687188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494439330052614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269335933427467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384265728609126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055534362517585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4656197568194309,0.0,0.1419636882434138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929478931389374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16961249453360053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592904616626794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801481070266557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103851160426582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958973435768129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302276345154029,0.0,0.0,0.17776209787538416,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jay_figures,2019/01/03,"Advice on seeking treatment In the past year or so I’ve been more active about getting help. I am going to be getting treatment for physical things that contributed to my mental health issues. It’s just been a matter of waitlists and the like. And getting help for mental health issues. I’m back on medication and went back to therapy. But it isn’t helping. My issues have changed but they aren’t better. (Ex with anxiety I don’t have anxiety anymore generally. But I will have random somewhat extreme panic attacks that come with almost no warning, aren’t connected to each other in any obvious ways, and are overall more frequent than before.) I’ve tried a few different things but nothing has been good. With medication I have kept getting horrible side effects, or just haven’t really worked, And with therapy I’ve burned through 3 in a year. I was with each for a full month at minimum meeting regularly but there were major issues with each. The first was pretty focused on my sex life (he partly blamed porn and my bisexuality on my depression), the second was part of a study where they had to do it in a specific way, filling out sheets with them, and the 3rd was just kind of clueless She would forget major details, she wouldn’t use proper pronouns, and she didn’t understand most of my experiences so she would rephrase my issues and if I said no that’s not the actual issue she would repeat it until I agreed. (Ex. I said I wanted to talk about grief bc my close friend died a few years ago and it was near the anniversary. She said it was bc I was grieving the person I could have been, when I disagreed, she said “that could be the reason but I really think it’s this even if subconscious,” and spent the entire time trying to make me talk about that instead of my friend whose death I was actually struggling with). I’ve done a few other things here and there such as meditation, yoga, general exercise, zentangling, etc. I want to get better and I’ve been depressed for almost a decade now. I know that I can’t handle it, much less fix it. But nothing has really worked, is there alternatives, or a better way to do the things I’ve done before. (Ex. How do I find a good therapist.) I’ll get some help later since I’m waiting for appointments but it would be nice to do something in the interim because it will take a while and I don’t think the things I have set up will fix everything. 

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mentalhealth,Yeah_Good_Point,2019/01/03,"I've been struggling at work for years and need a turning point. I’m 30 y.o., have a beautiful wife and 1 year old daughter. I’m writing on here because I’m getting desperate. I’ll try to keep this as brief and concise as possible. 

This mainly has to do with my work life. I’m an introvert leaning person working in a extroverted workplace (construction management). Work is very challenging/stressful and the hours are very long. I’ve always felt like I didn't fit in this industry, but it's what I went to school for and I actually landed a job with a great company. From the start I’ve felt very insecure at work and feared my coworkers could see right through my lack of confidence. I figured that if I just stick with it, I’ll eventually gain enough experience to be confident and happy. 

Fast forward 5 years and I’m now in a leadership position making a great wage with great benefits. I’m very new to managing people (5 guys directly under me now) so that’s adding to my anxiety. But just in general, I’ve NEVER felt comfortable in my own skin at work. I’m very quiet, like to keep to myself, dread going to lunch or really just interacting with most of my co-workers. I could get away with this in my old role, but its causing me to fail as a manager. 

I also feel like my insecurities are keeping me from communicating well. With 5 years experience, I now have plenty of advice and knowledge to share. But I feel like there is this big wall in my brain, keeping me from accessing information that I KNOW that I have. I get so nervous and uptight when it's my turn to speak. I can't even joke around with my co-workers properly, I just feel so strained and fearful that I’m going to say something stupid, or embarrassing. I just feel like every conversation I have, I’m constantly thinking about how to not make that interaction awkward and it almost always has the opposite effect. 

I don't want to put alcohol on a pedestal, but almost all of these problems go away when I have some drinks with co-workers. I hear all the time, “Wow, L is so fun when he’s drinking!” and, “You’re like a totally different person!”  or they say jokingly, “You should drink at work! You really open up!”. I’m famous for having this “dual personality” and its become unhealthy as I’m always encouraged to drink more when I’m with them. 

I could go on but I’ll stop there. My wife suggested that I take counseling and I think that’s a good idea. ",3.788155692578728,5.477181629707115,5.2630698084122445,79.73347720766351,72.6610878661088,9.048315349042063,28.896939000220215,9.549672527348893,2.7292041841004178,1921,78,374,48,38,646,237,478,0.145,0.6970000000000001,0.158,0.9202,3,0,6,0,0,0,57.0,0,2,2,10,25,34,1,11,16,0,23,9,2,5,4,86,67,39,0,9,16,3,8,6,0,1,2,5,0,4,22,27,6,6,15,6,1,8,5,14,1,0,6,14,43,20,61,56,10,56,0,1,1,0,25,27,0,8,29,225,65,14,0.0,0.0,0.06302602485978183,0.0,0.0,0.06311209640013819,0.0,0.06902214108663221,0.12934587907854206,0.0,0.0,0.0516489136834645,0.16122065690380755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940764717900231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05749469070417791,0.0,0.0,0.1213602013430105,0.0,0.0,0.03937065476776392,0.07132948991491822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209865579664923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634698720955999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979386306729225,0.0,0.15469853756247565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747798707944866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530763802500394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673397345284594,0.0,0.04265804149974743,0.0,0.05441597728854715,0.0,0.0,0.12635381032168982,0.0,0.1453530409001897,0.13062525663612792,0.13841944826283994,0.18603631051047914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012296030776328,0.0,0.1468214638353345,0.054171161564436035,0.0,0.2136168640687192,0.0,0.06394969098619316,0.0,0.06875234946009143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279242934744758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360360019529365,0.0,0.0,0.07290904484502084,0.0,0.0,0.06409103467321609,0.2296258514266968,0.0,0.0,0.03549444172619323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045618571534337606,0.18931895764548398,0.0,0.0,0.05715603846848141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622249973681552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04788924891482936,0.04981223494295675,0.06237697288535945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554300641119765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477537791708989,0.1691804161985647,0.0,0.0,0.06105407014298553,0.07281032398633094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179949654178313,0.0,0.06492615635205426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275011029146706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055155570849028016,0.0,0.10272179005345099,0.0,0.06536386353242553,0.051466194563646615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049720989189506376,0.0,0.0,0.045713872022787365,0.0,0.0,0.053996278645688636,0.0739823469426416,0.06751867344906802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048560176125618415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276742115332646,0.0,0.0,0.03766026075361633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043849240852358536,0.14050071804287792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664485566695111,0.0380941368397531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807002271693198,0.059871304318871776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4701893370592487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663634966230735
mentalhealth,ellemelleskipet,2019/01/03,"What time of day is it best to take zoloft/setraline Hi. Never posted to reddit before. I have been on and off setraline since behinning of 2018. I stopped because it disturbed my sleep, but I now see it as a neccessity to get back on. 
Anyone know when it would be best to take my pills so they don't disturb my sleep?",3.1129230769230785,4.44760367692308,4.366153846153846,86.91384615384617,73.76923076923076,7.661538461538463,25.30769230769231,8.238735603445708,1.4193692307692305,249,8,53,4,5,82,49,65,0.047,0.7829999999999999,0.16899999999999998,0.8868,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,2,4,4,0,2,1,0,6,3,2,0,1,6,11,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,7,2,10,8,2,11,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,7,38,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383713953767878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017227978722386,0.0,0.14283506650472394,0.0,0.19938315600938444,0.0,0.4917942008128821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111253940485714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241890288702542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877232990953386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071667674299788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22440714127972866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867171721325436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19382618448024894,0.0,0.4689645559952357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958962099273865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35234852086143004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366298295280688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644927498852885,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,strongerthenbefore20,2019/01/03,"Do I anger issues? I am a 20-year-old male

* When I was a child, I would get easily upset over anything I struggled or failed with
* Examples-When I would play tennis with my Dad, I would get angry to the point of tears whenever I would miss a shot or hit a ball out. In high school, when I played for the tennis team, I would swear and/or get worked up if I thought I was playing bad, but the high level of physical activity may have had something to do with getting my blood pumping
* My most recent dealing with anger came from taking my college-level math course
* I really struggled with math would get very angry at whenever I would get a poor grade. This would result in me yelling at myself at home, punching a locker at school, and getting worked up to the point of tears
* Other than these instances, I hardly ever get emotionally riled up
* Does all of this mean I have an anger problem?",4.237652519893899,5.67701732758621,4.6173563218390825,85.79789124668439,71.1264367816092,7.192926613616269,26.028293545534925,7.61054688173877,1.317792749778957,701,22,137,8,13,221,100,174,0.246,0.7170000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.9889,0,0,1,0,1,0,23.0,0,0,0,4,3,13,3,3,11,0,17,1,1,1,2,28,31,7,0,10,4,1,1,0,0,9,0,1,1,2,4,8,0,0,2,5,1,1,0,10,0,0,5,2,22,3,26,16,2,21,0,2,0,0,5,16,0,5,4,90,26,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906964030955042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090373182881333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237940316236812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115873584246536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471872785328432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217517993050134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790635620330553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.452393965063436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695888710770507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287161827229756,0.1085703065792162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297106831466758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179015745104619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357628396746343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20463746796031787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035679723228564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933924717805391,0.0,0.106870753757681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21908278183671706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332595442362901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263051479172226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138058169407165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592790615129255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930667169417927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759531702375712,0.0,0.0,0.6151063742458643,0.0,0.0,0.0697009319571997
mentalhealth,reuiwdfvcdedxc,2019/01/03,"How to get an unbiased psychiatric assessment in a case involving political controversy I want to get a psychiatric/psychological assessment. I would describe my political views as very far from mainstream but most people I have known have said that I still have clearly rational arguments for them. I have also experienced many genuine betrayals by several people (known by other people to have happened) that may have made me rationally paranoid, alongside a high level of scrutiny I was under for a while. With all this in mind I want to get an assessment for a psychotic disorder or bipolar disorder in the small chance that I do have one of them. How would I find a psychiatrist or psychologist who would be unbiased and take everything into account, and not jump to conclusions about any one thing they see without the full context of my situation, and to carefully look at my beliefs to differentiate rational but strange beliefs from delusions?",12.656785714285718,10.865616542682924,12.110557491289196,49.96475609756098,54.30487804878049,16.68850174216028,50.867595818815325,14.95560836045872,7.907562020905924,779,45,112,30,7,258,102,164,0.107,0.83,0.063,-0.7992,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,1,5,1,0,0,10,0,14,1,0,3,2,30,26,12,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,6,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,3,5,16,1,27,18,3,14,2,0,3,0,6,11,0,4,2,92,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241959014814614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260460528309996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882663305548504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795533104150714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881861063820642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134320506571627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25953658256110074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642773433597184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749513949477426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905108820335876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668209900913074,0.0,0.1678788808136459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671953205874341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22441160902626905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34439081694031576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751083021008588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195112742099568,0.0,0.0,0.1870657905647332,0.0,0.0,0.18612634079710755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223771854675398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450055889819925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100084174540428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662633404441835,0.1953346015477758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961962882043554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528840316447093,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rydgadurmalmur,2019/01/03,"Some sort of anxiety? About 3 years ago I started experiencing minor anxiety attacks. I used to smoke weed at that time but stopped around the time I got my fourth anxiety attack. It started out as some sort lf anxiety regarding my health, constantly worrying about diseases and all kinds of sickness. These were pretty text book examples of anxiety according to my therapist and he told me not to worry too much about it. I took his advice and continued my life.

A couple of weeks later I was on a bus with a friend of mine when I suddenly get this strange feeling that something is wrong. I try to ignore it but I was starting to feel sick. My mind started spinning and I felt like the walls were closing in. I felt extremely dizzy and could hardly hear what my friend was saying. I started to panic and asked the driver to stop, which he did. As soon as he stopped I ran out in terror. I felt like I was about to die. I tried to take a deep breath, but the air felt so thick around me. All of a sudden I felt like I was dreaming, which alarmed me even more. I felt trapped and I wanted to wake up somehow. I felt like everything was an illusion and my whole body was in state of panic. My friend managed to get me home, where I went straight to bed and when I woke up I felt better. 

After this incident I started seeking help. I told my therapist about it and she told me this had been an extreme panic attack. She explained to me how the mind can sometimes play tricks on you and make you feel like you’re in danger when you aren’t. She told me that my former weed habits had probably sparked this a little and that I needed to give my mind some rest, which I had been doing. 

I isolated myself for some time out of fear. I went to see all kinds of doctors but nobody could give me a clear answer to what I was dealing with, but they all agreed that it was some sort of anxiety. Some said I was bipolar. I started experiencing panic attacks regularly, but nothing compared to the one I experienced in the bus. These panic attacks were always related to me feeling like everything was unreal, an illusion. For example, I started thinking about the meaning of life a lot, and how life existed and how the world was made. You know, those kind of thoughts. Whenever I began thinking about this, I would feel like I wasn’t real and started panicking. This was a mix of confusion over how I could possibly exist and the feeling that nothing was real. It always made me dizzy and begin to panic.

Over the years I have gotten better. I still get minor panic attacks here and there but nothing serious. However, tonight as I’m writing this, I experienced a bigger panic attack than I’ve had in a long time. It started out from similar thoughts as I described earlier and a sense of panic and confusion. I’m calmer now but started wondering if anyone out there has had similar experiences? I know this is some sort of dissociation anxiety, but I was just wondering if any of you guys had experienced this?

Sorry for the long post.",4.5856429081673165,5.999044121160409,5.491777918882452,79.9620600841337,70.24573378839591,8.727613302643068,30.52210492896261,9.164851162284878,2.679814715453608,2389,99,448,48,43,783,245,586,0.227,0.6629999999999999,0.11,-0.9978,2,1,2,0,0,0,55.0,0,5,1,2,28,42,9,14,27,0,39,11,3,8,5,112,105,44,1,8,13,0,16,7,3,1,8,3,2,1,30,30,0,4,25,3,0,4,3,26,0,1,53,25,77,16,75,48,16,76,0,0,1,0,31,30,0,19,47,316,107,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043040532410861435,0.03904347824124179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329839343606939,0.0,0.0,0.029952296988323232,0.0,0.23586160066508585,0.0,0.0,0.030797479984176663,0.0,0.0,0.07841926476396388,0.0411763859158235,0.3507550077142921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790893186182263,0.0,0.04892437059391765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04759729428700202,0.0,0.10549970290411743,0.048735258400831434,0.0,0.0,0.04540874391446433,0.0,0.0,0.0457120410049505,0.0,0.0,0.04508220473584034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029091488359270088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917010520162425,0.04308473001678504,0.0,0.049563179047465336,0.13362368498137975,0.09439785855754393,0.3383229653834719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208780929372477,0.0,0.06903551396197882,0.08450448136177546,0.0,0.0,0.03522702957301223,0.0,0.0,0.04361174647257944,0.0,0.0,0.039455914514528984,0.0,0.0,0.04681806706780522,0.04964222539416864,0.0,0.029522619015009587,0.0,0.044181001484136666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759912634410654,0.048412261885133874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333143970748656,0.15062807391175972,0.04414493608631416,0.0,0.07795736369086073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03744571724534925,0.0,0.08335340726920852,0.029400562698308458,0.0,0.0,0.04797821616749433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334195138298932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03237834461931306,0.03265901289322424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678788616583145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02984621785353877,0.0,0.0,0.46509875511782306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965442899425122,0.04218319766428378,0.044809878655959895,0.04748825540414407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026633007516317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04189714224803479,0.03502657007355869,0.0,0.0,0.03509838115875806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03390820411261691,0.04356190264472055,0.04930507868318345,0.3429301913444738,0.0,0.03517461305434839,0.1104714649176467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033116564868335495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227991680186696,0.0,0.056444866767337586,0.0,0.06993405598295989,0.10273261488832228,0.0,0.0,0.16834858894150914,0.048935920526090367,0.0598077002586615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038040975358875496,0.0,0.0,0.02597904403174911,0.0,0.035330462376693364,0.0,0.0,0.08166082133222588,0.0,0.049174975952196096,0.0,0.0,0.09553044254458608,0.0,0.08946022838165797,0.0,0.03128849923347827,0.048156593244750856,0.0,0.05672742530205315
mentalhealth,fricklefrackrock,2019/01/03,"How do you deal with being a genuinely unlikeable person? Long story short, I have come to the realization that no matter what I do, I will never be someone with even a single close friend. I'm not looking for answers on how to make more friends. I'm manipulative, quick to anger, guilt-tripping, irrational, and generally a nuisance. I talk too much, too loud, and about things no one really cares about. I have never had a romantic relationship longer than a few months. I haven't dated anyone in over a year.  I also have never really dated someone I didn't meet while in high school, nor have I really made many long term/close friends out side of high school (although I realize this is true for more than a few people). 

How can I reconcile that I am incapable of forming meaningful relationships with people with my desire to be social? I've made friends online, but that always implodes. I always end up showing my worst side eventually. I don't want to subject anyone to any more pain or nuisance, but I also do need people to talk to. Or something. 

Thanks.

​

tl;dr I will never have any close friends but I am somewhat extroverted. What do",4.877606397397667,6.7555068663594495,5.70159934941719,76.92029818378964,70.19815668202764,8.423854703171589,28.432908647329906,9.007467420416297,2.4854339387367856,918,34,160,18,17,300,122,217,0.106,0.772,0.122,0.3682,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,0,11,11,1,0,8,0,22,1,0,7,5,38,33,15,0,3,6,0,0,0,5,2,1,1,0,1,7,10,0,0,4,1,0,1,11,3,0,1,4,2,20,8,26,24,10,27,0,0,1,0,14,13,0,3,13,120,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734074391733473,0.18042884326583972,0.11747341051607316,0.13174259983759778,0.14745912005483808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162006774116896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054177886239254,0.0,0.0,0.0933945365692554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177662639751423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960282546210328,0.0,0.0,0.07161062265468142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4188264907987809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291041177800961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19189720668386112,0.09104579274348876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205179924836511,0.07237142958184124,0.1099212238182172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086540093833215,0.0,0.0797014367254958,0.08039232024461934,0.3344818500500107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734684392212653,0.0,0.1153669030735189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22549507053157594,0.09466847296172833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20837056910186336,0.0,0.0,0.2328057744905617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194543772807915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105208993270486,0.18372843173992956,0.08346728705039863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428835065541096,0.0,0.09981889714502874,0.0,0.0,0.07202966697327898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639491350910592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174259983759778,0.06981915461507313
mentalhealth,Pretty_Tip,2019/01/03,"Some Advice needed Hi, I need some advice, recently I have had some mood swings and changes in attitude. For example, I have been irritable and I just snap and berate the person that irritates me. Also, I have been pushing away close friends and isolating myself from others. And In addition, I feel above others I tend to look down on people seeing them stupid or just downright moronic. I just don't know if this is a mental health issue because I feel as if nothing is wrong with me and that I am perfectly normal. So I am asking on what I should do. Should I seek help or I am I just normal. P.S this is a burner account. ",4.205040650406506,5.505873406504066,5.473333333333333,80.16333333333334,71.03252032520325,8.393495934959349,26.67479674796748,8.841846274778883,2.0672211382113823,491,16,92,9,9,164,78,123,0.105,0.792,0.103,-0.08900000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,7,6,2,0,3,0,16,1,0,0,1,30,25,13,0,8,8,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,3,4,19,2,11,20,3,9,0,0,2,0,6,7,0,7,1,75,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3906755723657168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15985817352211115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687742965229293,0.0,0.1878105340595034,0.0,0.0,0.12185582450225445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211465333936896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021486363651604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544405203397042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21248198063827387,0.0,0.0,0.1339872607908688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20864133560055076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985858597743996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786378028796595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20144993453603374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964433254022644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3917147423008451,0.1918073004768242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385839434388688,0.1745430213367141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197374930885248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929264091593348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21855682975158047,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlabasterEyes1,2019/01/03,"Extremely worried about my brother. So I'll give some background on my brother. He's 27 years old and he still lives back at home with my parents, in a very small rural town. In school he was pretty badly bullied mainly for being shy, and has had extreme social anxiety for as long as I can remember because of this. So much so that I'm pretty sure he basically doesn't talk to anyone outside of work and my parents back home. And when I say extreme social anxiety I really mean it, he struggles to get a sentence out even when he's talking to me.

So cut to about 4 years ago, and I get a phonecall from my sister telling me that he had a breakdown and told my parents that he was contemplating suicide. He went to counseling for about 6 months, and then flat out refused to go after that stating that he was better and he wasn't having anymore suicidal thoughts. Then as time went on it kinda just seems that everybody in my family completely forgot about that period of his life, including me to an extent. I stopped messaging him as much, and only really talked to him when I went back home every 5/6 weeks.

So he's been working in a grocery store for the past five years, day in day out doing the exact same thing. This is nearly what kills me most as he is capable of so much more, he has a university degree in a really sought after field! So I came home for the holidays for a couple of weeks for the first time in about 8 months and just noticed how down and out he seemed to be, like he has just resigned himself what he's doing now. I tried asking him how he's doing and he kept saying he's fine even though I know that's probably not true, but I know I can't force him to tell me how he's feeling. I can tell he thinks that nobody cares for him, but I really really do. 

I live in a different country now so keeping in touch with him is even harder now, and I just have this awful sinking feeling that I'm gonna get a phonecall one day saying something terrible has happened.

I have no idea why I'm posting this now, I have to get up for work in 3 hours, but I just can't get him off my mind. I've told him and my sister to come over and visit me in a couple of months, so he has something to look forward to but I dunno if that's gonna help. My sister is the only other person in my family that I can talk to about this sort of stuff, and I know telling my parents about the worries I have just won't help.

Is there anyone out there that can give me even a tiny bit of advice? I can give more info if needed, I know the post is terribly structured and doesn't have too much information but I'm just ranting here.",5.482195718654431,4.8276624458715585,6.391146788990826,81.59803516819574,67.66055045871559,9.3217125382263,30.093272171253822,8.648137234880735,2.0994758409785934,2063,65,434,28,30,688,232,545,0.087,0.851,0.062,-0.9218,5,0,2,0,0,1,40.0,0,0,0,5,46,13,2,1,20,1,40,1,0,3,3,75,81,47,3,3,15,9,3,1,0,3,1,3,4,1,25,26,0,5,15,1,1,8,8,7,0,3,16,7,53,6,74,60,12,74,0,1,1,0,68,28,0,9,38,292,78,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349948174689038,0.05760246202923824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942182780012952,0.0,0.06444450360809406,0.09087359791171812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074922914301412,0.0,0.0,0.14990102385597712,0.05425710482159455,0.03961231390474415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057471138477728174,0.07094331652999566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432188992295886,0.06625329558575012,0.0,0.0,0.05597608344189713,0.06813220120331721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380229415901144,0.0,0.12572369290667676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789217049140793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167951515331836,0.0,0.054749985401621584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251815200106042,0.0,0.0657135206447564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055273502299074136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975159278813587,0.18700944683510826,0.03693066541378244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05746320819964752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711188743524555,0.0,0.2607282521991573,0.0,0.06399400241803277,0.0,0.0,0.07335656437344196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775882672648696,0.0718927551959503,0.0,0.14284923385961462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045898580711027384,0.03174683455062507,0.0,0.11476027392486422,0.05750686522030905,0.05456836212109737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078425128884668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561311325679861,0.0,0.15560360460332245,0.0,0.19107645635254766,0.04818319562797533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398223196760309,0.06818748823488331,0.0,0.04403336249916446,0.09884320353841564,0.0,0.0,0.2886184810032451,0.0,0.06203249936625173,0.0,0.0567396181455771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446924050747565,0.13221974322401495,0.07006139186294419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20814508698504716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361173381625287,0.0,0.0,0.15502845265553722,0.0,0.06576507034354193,0.0,0.11831401548526665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248156284210166,0.0,0.10005235844041714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051894564831983285,0.05432771062655437,0.0,0.0679331065960908,0.07438863633238729,0.14215912667235886,0.0,0.06124459566031405,0.0,0.0,0.2089196995373172,0.22718789702501904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04317103330555636,0.041637725955426606,0.06384430752976758,0.05158830598312166,0.07578284280546116,0.0,0.0,0.12418582614824294,0.0,0.044118389784834386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053616806367673936,0.0,0.0,0.10424899159620477,0.0,0.0,0.1807163925432713,0.058635984641200324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192261513647422,0.13198438357979494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125538483346228
mentalhealth,GotchaMika,2019/01/03,"i dont know what to believe anymore my mother had to go into hospital for a knee replacement 

me and my mam have always been close and now that things have changed just over the course of a week

im not sure wtf to feel or think anymore like i thought i knew myself but after researching online about my feelings 

im frightened and apparently the condtition i think i have makes it unable to feel frightened? not sure

but my mother almost died in hospital due to the medication when i went to visit her i hugged her but i didnt feel insanley sad ive felt sad for her before the way i treated her or the way we argue sometimes but i dont know ever since she nearly died i cant get out of my head that would i cope without her? im 100% sure i have anti social personality disorder all the box tick my doctor told me i had a personality disorder but didnt state which 

i read that im evil? this hurt me.. am i confused because of what happened? because thats been in my mind thinking maybe im confused and in shock about whats happened in such a short time im not a bad person and i do anything for my mam but im worried incase i do have this condtition please any answers would mean a lot",0.8349827882960383,3.116367895582332,2.9007042455536443,90.10513554216871,84.90361445783131,5.324211130235227,22.547475616752724,6.7097532225279775,0.6374680436029836,942,34,198,11,28,317,128,249,0.227,0.695,0.077,-0.9918,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,7,15,2,2,12,0,20,5,2,1,5,49,40,14,2,2,13,2,5,1,0,2,2,0,0,5,12,9,0,0,14,1,0,3,9,9,0,0,11,5,38,6,24,27,2,23,0,3,0,1,18,10,0,6,8,128,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532593715020463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090190393018922,0.0,0.0,0.05794601447593395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16901169991907075,0.0,0.0,0.0701209235946376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711471499132873,0.10388697462055996,0.0,0.07250779999261955,0.09600297520512636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014133657363302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686994695799008,0.0,0.19531707042004298,0.08721648590919183,0.0,0.0,0.19973197898734685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707771243828898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17233981503493653,0.0,0.08181537570096159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044518932810104425,0.0,0.04842705111582131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507026038975668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745048451911179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121952781407312,0.0,0.6442932070362214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936588479041292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04162951201455703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244286053943161,0.0,0.0,0.05687862377903585,0.0,0.08560533012195977,0.09281913870094644,0.0,0.08584054376017895,0.0,0.0,0.08603824366428399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22320738259992975,0.0,0.09353546406658443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523348927868958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704869483406361,0.0,0.0,0.08686130271110723,0.0,0.0,0.08427529421981445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24092946590962086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661002349095985,0.16379820893539795,0.0,0.0676475634227515,0.04968688705068262,0.0,0.0,0.08142221759829253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527214643016974,0.0683506672332819,0.0,0.0,0.07899092241370559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213981390031416,0.0,0.0,0.08653532800580897,0.0,0.12106208950987545,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aftabghuman,2019/01/03,"Becoming friends ? Hey there, is anyone interested in becoming friends and sharing their stories ? I’m dealing with a mental illness as well and would like to know how other people are doing. Please let me know. 

Thanks ",4.06078947368421,7.384394026315789,4.142421052631581,78.89994736842105,82.42105263157895,6.197894736842105,31.28421052631579,7.554174236665415,2.7578252631578954,175,9,26,3,5,54,34,38,0.052000000000000005,0.524,0.424,0.9528,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,7,9,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,4,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387007208417798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5492547166334295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25635933789765764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3842308909676043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27331598130922075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542734791347216,0.0,0.12148356703393764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505925506528052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239074287044914,0.0,0.0,0.2729559216310282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289343238072806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235767696525652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664216747362715,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whytho007,2019/01/03,"help! Im sorry if this is long, its the first time Im opening up about this. Im not the kind to casually date as I have to feel a deep connection with someone before I seriously consider them and thats something I almost NEVER find. If I do, Its one long term serious relationship or I wont get into it. I found this connection once and so I dated the guy (hes the only guy Ive ever dated) but four years into the relationship, I found out he was hooking up with other girls. I broke up. I was devastated. Things got worse as I had recently joined a university away from home so all these changes literally screwed up my brain.

Now I have trouble sleeping (insomnia), anxiety issues including social anxiety (being super shy and introverted doesnt help), depression (which I dont think is major as I can distract myself with friends etc but as soon as these distractions go away, I go back in this hell hole and I cant remember the last time I was completely happy, not on my own, not with distractions.), my grades are falling tremendously (From being a straight A student to getting D’s or flunking), I have anxiety attacks or panic attacks (I think) often where I start pacing and get super restless and I feel like I need whatever Im stressing about to go away or I’ll die. My chest gets tight and I find it hard to breathe. (Im also asthmatic.) My head feels like its going to explode and I feel nauseous. I cry a lot. I have zero motivation for anything whatsoever, nothing about the past, present or future makes me excited or want to be alive. I cant pay attention for longer than a few seconds, I cant memorise more than a word.

I feel like I had a little (just a little) trouble with mental health before but the breakup and going to university ended up being the major triggers for a more serious illness. Its been a year and a half since I moved to university and about 7 months since I broke up. I feel like I’ll never be able to feel ‘love’ again, especially because of how hard I find it to connect with people. I constantly day dream about what I felt and how badly I want to feel something other than hurt and betrayal. My memories are now screwed up, I cant differentiate between whats real and whats not. I feel as if everything that I had, the memories where I was happy, all that is a blur, a dream. It isnt real even tho I know it is.

I have tried socialising, Ive made new friends, Ive gotten into art again, I play the piano, Ive pushed myself a little out of my comfort zone (not too much as I get anxious then) but nothing seems to help. At the end of the day, I still cant get over what happened. And I am super tired and exhausted of being this way, I genuinely want to be happy, healthy and I want to move on. Please help? Any advice on heart break, moving on, dealing with anxiety/anxiety attacks, depression, insomnia, learning to make sense of memories, fixing your learning abilities that have deteriorated due to mental illness or maybe just encouragement is welcome!
Im sorry if any of this doesn’t make sense or if I missed out stuff. 💕",3.3350657894736884,5.092019375,5.144505263157896,79.83733684210529,74.0,8.285052631578948,28.442894736842106,8.954980946260402,2.4294513421052635,2412,99,464,52,50,824,274,608,0.194,0.632,0.173,-0.9261,1,0,2,0,0,0,79.0,0,1,1,5,27,46,6,6,28,0,46,16,6,8,5,104,88,48,1,10,24,0,13,4,2,1,7,0,1,3,30,31,0,1,24,5,1,10,17,26,0,6,14,13,67,20,74,66,12,79,1,7,0,3,20,31,3,18,40,318,97,6,0.057979021003308415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665642830046061,0.0,0.0,0.058057614482581336,0.0,0.0,0.0463658021491024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885544493519303,0.0,0.1774151694878873,0.06549979066153508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047711794152972255,0.0,0.0,0.19787851954349955,0.16341959635581085,0.044582288320159966,0.04841006075243732,0.035343473061799933,0.0,0.0986717530342771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472376225318195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133411647766525,0.0,0.06078990042493272,0.06265472428001223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368723208704757,0.07478334412480023,0.059773824804141965,0.09987449166531563,0.0,0.060173070094530864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795098081066088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270440704753278,0.0,0.0646619344807367,0.03829459655951504,0.05244534385908838,0.0,0.0,0.052107805568917816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638434158453996,0.16568089675807882,0.055668952487826134,0.0,0.15897532445548668,0.049316925646817535,0.0,0.12714200785191332,0.08958889560795204,0.0,0.18174987287031175,0.0,0.16475406881621754,0.0,0.04637111958071214,0.0,0.0,0.11481669248394455,0.0512706567945683,0.18515923792060973,0.1038756291572915,0.0,0.05950320249735885,0.06162898810526522,0.0,0.06870541904702256,0.15544846253282935,0.0,0.058157685386736914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206774113467633,0.0,0.3757637516011762,0.06051503450489226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037622832281364,0.031863753661026235,0.04726064047454637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133024841149767,0.17433063204196195,0.0,0.10261921818907588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929169030760113,0.05232833010759902,0.05486115154741048,0.11610434020255447,0.0,0.05824771950791201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685843272011905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04627830141271499,0.18486757115323302,0.042621251589090164,0.04299070942444561,0.08943399058203835,0.05599649977514303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126486871103614,0.0,0.0,0.061745765137978574,0.03928808514069918,0.044095658107763405,0.0,0.06802588886944337,0.0,0.0,0.055347536010630825,0.04019535292413573,0.0,0.0,0.0636435542883935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198563824968496,0.0,0.0,0.057247288599555815,0.12449554102932635,0.0656789284620793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052781923181671166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095921690625216,0.0,0.05802089275888145,0.059102310442589324,0.049125436347068584,0.08927016593405625,0.0,0.12980553440168013,0.04103784948252509,0.0,0.04630212106779672,0.0,0.0664147726686258,0.0,0.06637210768954556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03851868528443274,0.07430123113731965,0.0,0.0,0.06761606680393023,0.06663835558476269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03936394941835334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679011508954922,0.046021048171137786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05908557568871036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467317721851534
mentalhealth,Rabbid1997,2019/01/03,No skills I have no skills no attributes I just feel like a loser that can’t do anything I feel like I’m a waste of life. I have to constantly ask my parents for help and I can’t stand it... it just be easier if I wasn’t here,-1.3362820512820512,0.4601651153846191,1.405384615384616,100.42294871794874,90.15384615384615,5.005128205128205,16.358974358974358,6.42735559955562,-0.5767025641025643,174,4,46,2,6,60,34,52,0.236,0.5710000000000001,0.193,-0.3182,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,1,0,7,11,2,0,1,3,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,2,7,2,3,9,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27554897927828753,0.0,0.3130349593612694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36184858752045895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386154780020412,0.4784267998938365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244396062950815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365109903500501,0.3271767956103083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718058473592652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rixe,2019/01/03,"Trying to get together symptoms to mention to a psychiatrist I've been writing down all of my symptoms for the first time - I've previously held back because of worrying I'll be seen as crazy, even by professionals. I can't help but wonder what they're indicative of.

* Severely low mood and barely able to function - massive cognitive impairment compared to how I am when able to function

* Showering and household tasks are extremely difficult - uni work almost impossible to complete at the moment, especially with it being related to psychology

* Started a job in June that I only lasted three weeks at - had been experiencing some lethargy before then but that started a downward turn towards feeling useless.

* Found out stepdad has advanced cancer which knocked me further down, even with counselling my mood was still relatively low and my attendance suffered.

* I've been upping sertraline dose at doctor's recommendation and it is having absolutely no effect, even at 150mg a day.

* I experience thoughts of being killed and maimed extremely often, kind of like a twisted form of daydreaming

* Suicidal thoughts have been increasing but upon discussing it out loud, it is more a desire to change my identity (one of them was walking out and disappearing completely)

* Past abuse as part of a friendship make it hard to make close friends - being told constantly that I was disturbed for 3 years whenever I displayed any sort of new depression symptom (at the time not knowing what it was). I'm worried any new friends will inevitably abandon me after I become too full on with them. I rarely get past this hurdle but I have recently and I was ecstatic - my new friendship has now calmed down to a more normal level.

* Obsession with wondering what is wrong with me to be this way - I constantly research mental disorders and I know better than to self diagnose and advertise that I do this, but it's a great source of distress to not know exactly what is up with me. I've been worried about this for years and nothing has ever come of it other than depression and anxiety from a GP.

* Overattachment and oversharing with a new friend when I get too close to them - rejection often happens after this and I get very depressed and inconsolable for some time. 

* Mood changes very quickly in response to triggers, a good thing will make me very happy for a little while and a bad thing happening will ruin my entire day.

* Emotions feel intense and out of proportion - I feel like I'm way more emotional than everyone else and react far more, but I've gotten better at trying to  make myself look like I'm responding more normally.

* I will often break boundaries and try to overextend myself into my friends' affairs in an attempt to make myself useful then hate myself for it.

* I'm scared of intimacy in case the other person sees just how crazy I am - though my relationship with my current partner has been two years of him being very understanding.

* Automatically assume people don't like me and can sense how unstable I am.

* Urges to self harm and overdose - haven't done it because of partner

* Feeling incompetent compared to ""normal"" people, especially with work related matters. I can't seem to hold onto a job any more.

* Starting to feel like I'm losing my grip on reality, dissociating more and narrating life in third person as I do things, as well as treating inner thoughts as a conversation between two sides of myself.

* Nightmares about being hunted and chased and held hostage by the aforementioned toxic long gone friend who i haven't even seen in years, as well as my rapist ex who I've been free from for three years this year.

* Try to downplay illness to seem more sane - even to professionals

* Hid and downplayed it all to my partner for fear of abandonment and the shame of being like this

* Repression led to it all coming out at once now",6.62980795771546,8.289098552517988,6.767244163852593,71.80749229188079,65.63309352517986,9.70224636617237,35.04698282190573,9.957137785484203,3.812999412714727,3094,145,497,70,49,991,331,695,0.206,0.669,0.125,-0.9975,4,0,0,0,1,0,73.0,0,0,3,9,27,51,3,7,23,0,49,10,0,13,5,108,99,48,2,4,9,1,7,6,8,4,9,1,1,7,35,44,0,6,19,0,1,9,8,26,2,7,25,13,49,23,112,62,17,96,0,12,4,1,28,41,0,12,49,353,84,8,0.11844487161915095,0.0701689023099782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930271480016117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081986152310592,0.0,0.04530500129539014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04553839755476382,0.04944826017819917,0.0722028943734827,0.06540652748120081,0.050393930935443976,0.0,0.0,0.10475486362674293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252989689435524,0.10202976907421983,0.12418719438469415,0.1279968279087686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638714349460395,0.0,0.15302459154990625,0.0601095257242388,0.0,0.0,0.06787404222899314,0.060616672520574524,0.0,0.060605113423730886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049472745861917605,0.1332345383276688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19557930156065054,0.05357008373819805,0.0,0.056589575337780224,0.0,0.05793090611623445,0.0,0.06664170510299702,0.14972321490208296,0.08461703995112584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05037457364582955,0.0,0.06493434408180865,0.2287755349943709,0.0,0.12376511357842515,0.0,0.0,0.04967296936763628,0.0,0.0652929445536217,0.0,0.0,0.10474040880261963,0.06304338415601224,0.05305167001350306,0.05846989450319985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039695550367788934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753825873849605,0.0,0.06552085068943887,0.06167105350171523,0.09764130576133252,0.04827418949801751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041830557827804385,0.17359854417467044,0.05935643897332385,0.0,0.05240999207010221,0.04973193052844707,0.06625475715851369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765717886321152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059682286030493165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287895901729754,0.0,0.0,0.17407623893899707,0.0568255243972141,0.0,0.0,0.06306996132598372,0.040130655193253865,0.04504133109834658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641321267975309,0.11306903227706144,0.08211476038055301,0.1034214932661684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058475010714064614,0.06358273268159301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929198968284417,0.0,0.047192613785619536,0.1078277626438051,0.12356383296542454,0.06690449546866349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257538346466654,0.0,0.04729511373826599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477973258538665,0.0,0.0,0.184664360015471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803426449351685,0.0,0.05818574249417768,0.14104799646758848,0.10359923572432933,0.0,0.0,0.056589575337780224,0.0,0.16083258580766874,0.06441700401027238,0.11570342885893192,0.061652644269143415,0.0,0.05114916981553473,0.0,0.19545884727248886,0.0,0.0940160259363147,0.047504665764181615,0.0,0.10649616424285124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284484107510186,0.08622927721035446,0.1804297748702048,0.0,0.0,0.06475043666404579,0.0,0.2288238418652273
mentalhealth,Chibiwitch,2019/01/03,I dont fully know why this happens Whenever I'm somewhere new I usually can never sleep the first few nights or easily use the bathroom or even eat. Does anyone else with anxiety get like this? Are reactions to new environments usually this extreme? I've been living where I'm at for three days and I haven't eaten anything or really left my room at all...,3.647047619047618,5.686534657142857,5.311428571428575,77.76190476190479,73.85714285714286,9.23809523809524,27.380952380952376,9.725611199111238,2.896095238095238,286,11,52,8,6,97,56,70,0.026,0.894,0.08,0.5514,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,5,3,1,1,2,9,12,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,4,1,5,10,2,13,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,9,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346798781969406,0.0,0.0,0.1402729010925422,0.2055511792775615,0.16508696669083886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293784446774084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555732139222674,0.0,0.2351163167273301,0.0,0.0,0.20527663625041756,0.16758597378334336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250264214316787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064086157496874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048117338045936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774009416481993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025136515339444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21796603190409716,0.0,0.0,0.09800911783524507,0.0,0.17714448336528038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547247015791168,0.3875055406025523,0.0,0.1882612100075382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285174830556022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007573464864451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732647598673984,0.4418925792051644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102154779938126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uptowngorl1,2019/01/03,"I (F 21) need advice on antidepressants/medication for my depression and suicidal thoughts So, I’ve had depression since I was 10 years old (at least I knew that I was more than just “sad” ). I didn’t get help until I was about 17/18 (therapy). I’ve been to a few different therapist and they’ve all said they recommend me to talk to a psychiatrist and get onto some antidepressants but I never thought of myself as “bad enough” to take that step (bad though to have- I know). The thing is, I’ve always been told by my parents that they don’t want me to be dependent on medication and I guess it’s just instilled into me. I’m also afraid of other side affects like weight gain (I’m very triggered by my weight as I’ve always struggled with body dysmorphia/ED) and a medication making me worse than actually helping me. Not to mention I don’t even know if my insurance will cover that. I’m also afraid to tell my mom that I’ve been having more frequent suicidal thoughts. 

I need advice on antidepressants. More so advice on if they’re worth it? And other people’s stories on if they take them, I guess. Is it worth it? I need an extra push to talk to my mom about it. ",3.2787892477976044,4.97784299141631,4.740271063925913,82.91922520894512,74.02145922746782,8.167065733002032,25.567878924779762,8.841846274778883,1.8685330472103008,919,31,186,19,19,307,121,233,0.121,0.792,0.087,-0.8966,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,4,1,11,9,0,3,5,0,16,5,1,4,2,34,38,18,2,7,7,3,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,13,8,2,0,6,0,2,2,5,8,0,0,14,3,29,1,31,22,9,16,0,3,0,0,15,9,0,7,6,123,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.10561620770278443,0.0,0.0,0.31728132767938416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310190218570784,0.18011093484439306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073392916237524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021838012083677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643551589489166,0.0,0.0,0.113076607871181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182982294549676,0.0,0.0714844475953345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130907093072928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384536039633417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508766865363842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896001177253937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052875380705152165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224391401105024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021838012083677,0.21805931473179832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535137518011624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407520165537125,0.08347312659460385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356846913345416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017585593654755,0.0,0.0,0.07503258573871613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295087114267752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895284150088586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314478827878167,0.0,0.23677062768341195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627499642941899,0.1739812615368947,0.0945971993494724,0.0,0.123769663976002,0.1256625866367615,0.0719027535745655,0.0,0.1063347610644478,0.2577659811508102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341775689952842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930052677738125,0.0638364592670518,0.0,0.0,0.2635883183319579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102949271810601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969613605091972
mentalhealth,Fenrir-2003,2019/01/03,I'm scared I feel awful. I don't want to do any of this. I wish I'd never been born. Someone fucking shoot me...please...,-2.3550000000000004,-0.5846014074074048,0.5906481481481514,102.85041666666667,100.11111111111113,2.7,14.157407407407408,3.1291,-1.5712148148148148,90,2,23,0,4,31,22,27,0.35100000000000003,0.537,0.112,-0.6898,0,0,0,1,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614914838642319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19442835874885456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554889308529158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29657085727455873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220950744223984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849785168094541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32580840185304044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268039334640889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.442186967953513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Angel_Piper,2019/01/03,"I’m upset I still don’t have a Drivers License because of Driving Anxiety So here’s the deal

I have a lot of drivers anxiety because of my experiences with drivers ed and behind-the-wheel instruction with a driving school

Drivers ed did nothing but use scare tactics to keep us from thinking about drinking and driving or not wearing a seatbelt, we barely learned anything about actual DRIVING in the course but instead watched testimonials of scarred car crash survivors, a graphic re-enactment of a teen dying in a dui car crash, people getting ejected from cars, cars getting crushed by trains, all the really bad stuff. The health teacher also loved to remind us we were driving a literal hunk of metal that could at any moment kill someone or lead to our deaths. And this was just the beginning

Then I got to taking driving lessons and boy did that leave a lasting impression. The driving school sent over an old man, he was grumpy and just overall not a patient man who should be teaching 16 year olds to drive

Every single mistake that first day lead to being SHOUTED at. He stressed me out to a point where I actually almost crashed the car on the first day (leading to me thinking what my health teacher told us was true, and I was eventually going to get someone killed) I started to avoid lessons, we reschudualed multiple times because he gave me panic attacks and my parents REFUSED to call the school and ask for a different instructor. He’d get annoyed with me because I’d only want to drive around parking lots because he’d made me scared of driving on streets where I could possibly hurt someone, because I felt like I was a horrible driver.

After that I barely practiced driving with my parents, and when my schedualed test rolled around we canceled it and rescheduled, only to cancel that appointment and never reschedual.

Now I’m turning 19 in a few weeks and I still don’t have a license since I can barely drive,my permit is expired too so I can’t practice anymore. I don’t like driving past other cars, 18 wheelers give me panic attacks, I feel like I’m operating a death trap every time I’m behind the wheel, and I’m convinced I’ll always be an asshole and a leech who relies on others to drive me around

I feel like my anxiety is never going to let me learn how to drive, and any therapist I’ve talked to has just said to just drive and get over it

(Also idk if this the right thread to post this in but whatever)",10.653565620058727,7.7361691566523625,9.750799638581434,68.83821436638809,59.15021459227467,11.870612152699346,45.77095098260674,9.549672527348893,4.598975965665236,1961,99,339,24,19,623,238,466,0.17800000000000002,0.7559999999999999,0.066,-0.9954,3,1,1,0,0,0,31.0,8,0,0,7,23,23,5,7,30,0,28,5,1,7,4,71,61,29,5,6,12,2,3,4,0,1,2,2,0,3,16,28,1,3,9,1,0,27,8,15,0,2,15,6,40,8,53,37,5,71,0,1,1,1,31,20,0,6,27,217,56,11,0.0,0.0,0.1486632427295157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762739592902133,0.0,0.0,0.12182737224381672,0.06338012935562462,0.0,0.0,0.10359738426047622,0.0,0.17481114495815242,0.0,0.07554087273898775,0.0,0.0,0.06268200092821037,0.2034242325808144,0.07120932788297035,0.17331034902231254,0.0,0.0,0.06359935791326687,0.2785977325643593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777880728969774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163222145516643,0.0,0.0,0.09824760793560278,0.07852865331039961,0.0,0.0,0.0790531670937737,0.07958217573144535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461829345481005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835421015380066,0.0,0.0,0.0745095665458949,0.0,0.0,0.07702839532203201,0.10883273526750896,0.07313582298596161,0.0,0.0,0.1295815273372076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989802504497604,0.0730698820092244,0.08657913522475445,0.0,0.06092067196805007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193179729244153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154231624453254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677040233847157,0.16854320126783884,0.0,0.0,0.06208929181316035,0.0,0.08065377954303174,0.0,0.07788970767653919,0.0,0.148852637813057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951522081554906,0.06874703612821248,0.07207456381103726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749508858760155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308784680640541,0.0,0.15985668545038184,0.0,0.0,0.11586250869455875,0.0,0.17873982334789876,0.16915710978374082,0.0,0.07271355783581228,0.05280717680040256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200593778113579,0.0858710262314334,0.0729504808840885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04879690476879756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504936679138705,0.07245578438571157,0.0,0.15252032971997134,0.23126646329857603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300919518482137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19361757620136769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053914017802559375,0.0,0.1216600485173304,0.0,0.08725328644557677,0.0,0.08719723476473376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057270891400906875,0.06122312824143573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844006060022147,0.0,0.09761422561860436,0.0,0.0,0.08883150251229567,0.0,0.0,0.07278437387073175,0.0,0.0,0.0828518552318227,0.0,0.0,0.2748719422400981,0.06578703368614923,0.0,0.0,0.04492745595314709,0.0,0.061099545860631176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490514373523282
mentalhealth,blueybluel,2019/01/03,"CW: Sexually traumatized by running water This misophonia is literally ruining my life. When I was a teenager, my dad would go to pee and leave the door open, and it sounded SO LOUD. I'm a girl, so I couldn't understand why he was peeing so loudly. Was he just pouring a bucket of water into the toilet from five feet up? Was his urethra the size of a golf ball? Why was he so loud? It was upsetting to me, so I had to leave the area whenever he would go to the bathroom.

Ever since, I couldn't stand to hear ANYONE pee. It felt like just hearing the sounds was FORCING me to think about other people's genitals and how exactly they were making those sounds excreting liquid, against my will. To this day, I still plug my ears whenever I use the toilet. I'm used to it now, so I don't think much of it and just habitually do it.

Now it has become every liquid sound, such as turning the faucet on, faucet dripping, dogs drinking water, dogs licking their lips, etc. I'm fine when I'm washing the dishes myself, probably because I'm the one in control and I can see everything that's happening, so I don't have to have an imagination about the sound. When I can hear other people turn the faucet on outside the room, though, I can't stand it. I have to plug my ears and hum to drown my eardrums out until they're done, but usually when I unplug they're not done, and I still hear the sound, and I lose my mind with anger and frustration. I feel raped/molested by the water sound, and I want to kill myself. For some reason it's gotten worse than usual, to the point where I can barely cope on a daily basis with other people and dogs in the house. I have to have earplugs in all the time, AND music. I don't have a current therapist so I'd have to wait at least four months to go see a new one. I can't wait four fucking months to get help.",4.062970822281166,4.649232835543772,5.221173474801064,84.48848169761277,70.77718832891247,8.260116710875332,26.22058355437666,8.364918446050245,1.5410179098143233,1437,42,303,21,25,477,187,377,0.095,0.882,0.023,-0.9794,1,0,1,0,0,1,45.0,0,0,2,2,26,9,4,1,26,0,34,16,7,6,3,46,65,29,2,5,5,1,2,1,0,3,2,16,2,1,16,17,6,3,7,3,0,4,8,7,0,5,13,21,35,2,42,47,5,39,0,2,2,1,14,15,1,1,19,201,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234024630784829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306704280547654,0.11426124407360096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160369557446273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672185776435506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21174692874522413,0.0,0.10134946320065226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538302935455375,0.0,0.0935836933830922,0.08716783577012266,0.0,0.0929813886306008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05231147856405671,0.0,0.09933591425344132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564526340569801,0.054052540300530236,0.0,0.17639271430241835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148757681719648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4664187867486503,0.0,0.06934572349087782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937665332727025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446095979774673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190941894628143,0.0,0.0,0.07307545227915359,0.05054435795791426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157430499716098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905902522796394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044630978214961,0.0,0.16515839352047,0.0,0.07605354158862744,0.0,0.0,0.09992039101818688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021165056309814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21517427325394312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780126030083107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154523339022564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637206547735052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648852788822863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558153521098946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524340130700105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012272396304455,0.0,0.13258343107490592,0.10164696981722217,0.0,0.060327197782812626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22506521294295548,0.0,0.10770343734643656,0.0,0.1787090066242905,0.2278887637764234,0.0,0.06102221496904104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670952483111355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543255114262247,0.1469872042982513,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ilikeus1110,2019/01/03,"How do you get better? I’m so done Hi everyone,

So I’ve struggled with mental illness for almost all of my life.  

During the past six years things have gotten dramatically worse. I was diagnosed with severe social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and moderate depression. I’ve wanted to get better since then but ive been struggling   With consistency and perseverance. All I wanna do is avoid the reality of life and how far away I am from being normal. I do this through shopping, tv, or just doing anything that doesn’t make me think about my issues. Every time I try to do therapy, I feel extremely unmotivated, sad and just can’t focus for shit.  I’m just extremely tried and sad most of the time. 

In addition, I haven’t had the best experiences with therapists.i’ve seen a couple throughout the years and honestly they barely helped me at all. They didn’t  even seem to care or take me seriously. And For some reason, exposure isn’t working as good as it should for me.  despite how many times I try to gradually face my fears I’m still the same. In regards with cognitive restructuring, I have no idea how to do it. I don’t know where to start, how to do it right or anything like that. How am I supposed to think straight and change my thoughts? 

I’m just so tired of life and the way I live it. I’m not living  guys, I’m just rotting.

I want to reduce my anxiety and depression but I don’t know where to start. I have major self esteem issues that I believe are like the core of my anxiety and depression.  And also I  suspect I have body dysmorphia as well. 

I would really appreciate any advice or thoughts.

Thanks for reading ",3.859834092767848,5.921936369085177,5.292989835261132,78.0260345834794,73.32176656151421,8.860334151185887,27.82906881645052,9.444778638647367,2.682405164154691,1307,51,243,33,27,438,169,317,0.199,0.682,0.119,-0.977,0,1,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,2,5,21,21,1,4,9,0,30,9,3,8,3,64,56,32,0,6,12,0,1,2,0,2,6,0,0,2,9,18,0,1,12,3,1,0,9,11,1,1,9,2,33,10,36,44,8,20,0,5,1,0,8,9,1,8,12,165,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479493182671607,0.0,0.0,0.09713933214623977,0.0,0.0,0.07757712912127633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596865308165052,0.0,0.29684290734742314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596583621570986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114205254606332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929460849707906,0.10180373598216176,0.17159109032466374,0.0,0.10775383377797282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890595112855408,0.0,0.10262142469197748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733732226087356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506581136327441,0.09846090864737117,0.0,0.0,0.22235876230651586,0.0,0.0,0.09927269371169377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407275889223872,0.0,0.08173328334155387,0.09269514175321282,0.0,0.0948922751634675,0.0,0.10916078207559894,0.04905007519937939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136517793936692,0.0,0.0,0.08136556793989641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605300636729387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650223057224011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951003579116733,0.0,0.20250194876248476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662593624934526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20555850424675012,0.0947862544433416,0.0,0.17131938787288614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475348190511522,0.09835071683159033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977610793283144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950470797727992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926049534058222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703408484633018,0.0,0.06214570194277115,0.09974020910894958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284415946743565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831228793942181,0.10120032659666912,0.10959123927644257,0.0995771466874096,0.08024588203212571,0.0,0.0,0.0988872694108943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732528719885345,0.0,0.07747058086290379,0.0,0.0,0.2028272997320588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293781775424027,0.0,0.0,0.08931177935016177,0.11093691152235133,0.0,0.06444769384735198,0.12431740495448824,0.0,0.15402676728035722,0.16969814287650226,0.11149623377601244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19758585284025584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443546675512055,0.07700030261070227,0.0,0.0,0.08722169217334648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062285789017572,0.0,0.0988592695898558,0.06891158137833238,0.0,0.0,0.12493972804240293
mentalhealth,selfosss,2019/01/03,I’m finally getting help After several months of suffering I’m finally checking myself into a mental health unit. I hope this will finally help me.,6.427777777777778,8.357989,8.467592592592595,58.3991666666667,66.4074074074074,12.807407407407407,39.425925925925924,12.161744961471696,6.390348148148147,121,7,16,5,2,43,21,27,0.102,0.625,0.273,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,4,0,6,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7764255394274197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234347783056018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251130645557043,0.0,0.0,0.3167168076818065,0.0,0.0,0.23465697865070184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380919641067461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18857846066217696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26690369610785764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrP0tatoe,2019/01/03,"My mental health is spiralling and I’m really scared. Hi everyone,

So much shit is going wrong in my life and it’s destroying me. I’m massively behind on Uni work - loads of missed lectures, not attended a single lab practical etc, and I have exams in a couple of weeks and just can’t focus on revising.

My social anxiety has gotten worse and is perhaps the worst it’s ever been. Thus, I have no support network and am fighting my own demons.

I just don’t know what else to say. I just want a hug. ☹️



",1.1772550750220674,3.4170747572815543,3.5278375992939104,86.44741394527803,82.98058252427184,6.8522506619594,21.984995586937334,8.00094639256281,1.3224446601941748,392,13,79,8,11,135,76,103,0.262,0.675,0.063,-0.9701,0,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,3,1,4,0,10,4,1,1,1,14,18,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,2,1,9,2,8,16,5,8,1,1,0,1,4,4,1,0,2,52,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17798720986940614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25743812678274564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19436079348345367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594816967727313,0.0,0.2104577742943912,0.0,0.222320281074375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13222822877153245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473107947103673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786596831516905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433735927978713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23447043958646105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103470178748328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905042122126475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502363346877604,0.2329371042823225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388261004990789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371714969554537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640241819371293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723116795920914,0.0,0.1866289079216011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938205519142338,0.0,0.2371043421082247,0.0,0.254381397861959,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JustYourFriendlyNPC,2019/01/03,"Why am I still mad at her even though I didn't love her? I met this girl online when I was a depressed, suicidal, kissless handholdless virgin. I was 20 at the time and she was 19.

I thought she would be my manic pixie dream girl that would save me from my misery. Meeting her for the first time felt exhilarating. I had my first kiss, we held hands. But I soon realized that I rather fell for the idea, not the actual person. I didn't really love her, couldn't feel ""the butterflies"", but I liked the carnal aspect of it all. But I didn't told her the truth, because I wanted to lose my virginity to her. She knew I was a virgin and she was one too. A perfect scenario for not-so-attractive young male as I was. I was thinking that I couldn't let the chance slip. I stuck in a long-distance relationship with her for sex and out of fear of being alone, even though she had a fair share of her own psychological issues (mild BPD, self-harm, suicide attempts in the past etc) and we didn't click as good as I thought we would.

Two and a half years later she cheated on me multiple times with some guy she met through her friends in her home city. She said she also kissed other guys (and girls), one of them way earlier, when we were 1.5 years into the relationship. It's strange that I felt devastated even though I didn't really love her. Can someone explain this? Am I a narcissist? Possessive? Or maybe I did love her, after all?

Anyway, for my own sanity I cut all contact with her. Shortly after that she had a suicide attempt. After leaving the psychiatric ward, she tried reaching out to me, asking for forgiveness and wanting to ""be friends"", but I had always stated that I didn't want to keep in touch. But I also felt guilty for not being honest with her all along. So last time she contacted me, I told her that I hadn't really loved her and I apologized. She was a bit upset and even spiteful in response, but then said she's not angry with me. Me, on the other hand, can not really forgive her nor forget what she has done, even though I am no saint myself and would have probably cheated on her as well, given the chance. I guess I got what I deserved.

What bugs me is that telling her the truth didn't bring me a sense of closure. Every time I reply to her, I feel like she gains some power over me. I don't want her to know that I somehow still care. I instantly feel much worse. I am scared to death to admit any weakness before her. I still feel humiliated by her. She clearly has no respect for me, since she keeps contacting me even though I don't want it. Is she manipulating me?

I feel like a total human garbage now. Why am obsessing over something that shouldn't mean anything to me?",3.5461376854064284,4.900280992606287,4.5187592984987175,86.16727469455843,72.71534195933457,7.5701005364951985,25.20990938190343,8.096554002634818,1.3448473107614625,2111,65,439,31,41,686,246,541,0.22,0.6509999999999999,0.129,-0.9956,1,1,1,0,0,2,76.0,4,0,1,8,26,36,5,4,25,0,49,14,2,1,9,86,91,33,4,13,12,0,11,3,2,5,1,2,1,8,20,23,0,3,20,1,0,2,20,12,1,6,39,14,109,24,55,40,12,44,1,2,1,11,82,16,0,5,27,326,129,0,0.0,0.0,0.06832753154220361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251759934615812,0.0,0.11198684310739153,0.05826063939120017,0.0,0.0,0.04761468545137618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057618901847085825,0.0,0.06545743934666326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04268236274565057,0.0,0.05958021652815721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644159282879287,0.0,0.08818530219420645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138808407117869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060306457076849625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165279059347507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808865129118528,0.2774776307965344,0.0,0.05899323990137353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878978968575635,0.17701618821094506,0.10004183973498933,0.20168496906920352,0.0,0.0,0.1191146612149352,0.0,0.0,0.10819156718510936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058727831220619114,0.055999843122522486,0.0,0.07713279287591678,0.13865778581766686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023382845776589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904187313801253,0.0,0.07308066894804005,0.0,0.12447054721576566,0.0,0.0,0.03848009757897607,0.05707406843688481,0.0,0.07413902138205282,0.0,0.07159821567682129,0.0,0.1026218699246686,0.0,0.0,0.06196378448380674,0.0,0.07833230518535142,0.0,0.0,0.31597018827511697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034255769930822,0.07627019965193199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051471334405033084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489210630914306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684016607402972,0.0,0.06113707393016433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549131689581035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942146228133912,0.0,0.0,0.1503463972863769,0.0,0.0,0.13320642822348153,0.0,0.07010029815325412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304411251981831,0.0,0.0,0.05791966719403434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932607954338843,0.05390332747010125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774955227403027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297651972626049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119887527626872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044864749062807546,0.3439619684655745,0.11117304556861564,0.2041404848437748,0.0,0.0,0.1338105239768078,0.0,0.047537670257752365,0.0,0.06839747581208078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20649234520835216,0.055577081192357713,0.0,0.0,0.0629546495701583,0.0,0.12636082670769558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135439038974557,0.1989552987977492,0.0,0.0,0.09017867689001263
mentalhealth,anon1551551,2019/01/03,"My mental health is deterating. I moved from my hometown to a city where my family is. I finally found my own apartment and I thought I would be okay. I'm not. 

I'm closer to my family but I still feel lonely. Every day I feel myself losing touch with reality. It wont be long now until I'm gone. ",-0.7347619047619071,1.4385644126984118,2.873333333333335,86.93000000000002,95.34920634920636,5.974603174603175,16.523809523809526,7.3871296695380915,0.5230190476190479,230,6,49,5,9,84,44,63,0.116,0.858,0.025,-0.7351,0,2,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,0,0,9,14,3,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,3,12,1,5,7,1,11,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,6,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548327476046742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21619330456845745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4837919856312018,0.0,0.25948542412938536,0.0,0.0,0.28108851568098586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28134440984403997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727496848713685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270794984903005,0.0,0.2870654322562769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25858854476511706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27272107561274817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20491799911669434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370866340449226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18227852708378192,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ldg895,2019/01/03,"Feeling lost I feel the need to write about this year..  Because this year was awful and I feel terrible. 
 I’m sorry about my English, it’s not my native language. 

I started my final year at the university. But it didn’t went well. I was exhausted and overwhelmed. 
In June me and my boyfriend, who where living together for a year and have been together for 3,5 years, decided to buy an apartment together. We went through the whole process, looked at apartments, found a really great appartement in one of the best streets in the city, we went to the bank, got a loan and even signed the papers. I was in heaven because I have never had a “home” and I was so happy and dreamt about our future. But two days later, after a normal day where me and my boyfriend went grocery shopping for the whole week, my boyfriend start crying and goes outside because he needs to think. He drove to his moms house and came the next day back with a truck and took all his belongings and was gone. He wasn’t happy anymore... 

So without further explanation he was gone and also my whole idea about my future. 
We arranged that he would buy the appartement by himself. And now I haven’t spoken to him since September. 

It really crushed my soul. I feel like I can’t trust anyone. 

The past six months where terrible. I literally haven’t done anything. 
My thesis is a real disaster. 
I lay on the couch all day. 
Cooking, grocery shopping, showering,... it takes all so much energy. 
I am also worried about my dad because he’s an alcoholic and apparently there is physical abuse between him and his girlfriend. 

I really cannot see my future. I don’t know what I want. I live alone and it’s very lonely. 

I don’t know if I will graduate even though I only need to finish my thesis and one exam.. 

Thanks for reading. ",3.141929347826089,5.400348739130436,4.07439764492754,85.0537703804348,76.10144927536231,7.095108695652174,26.43342391304348,8.07648339933343,1.78258152173913,1405,54,266,24,32,452,182,345,0.104,0.7879999999999999,0.108,0.4152,2,3,1,0,1,0,48.0,4,0,0,2,20,15,0,1,21,1,24,3,0,0,4,51,54,27,0,7,5,2,4,1,1,2,2,0,3,0,10,23,2,0,10,4,6,9,11,6,1,4,23,6,45,9,30,29,8,49,2,3,2,0,21,14,0,1,27,180,55,4,0.0,0.10783455061611186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726434161224384,0.0,0.09426117041354556,0.0,0.14556481457463005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025962663833602,0.06363783223992257,0.0,0.07489526921766819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699827484033123,0.0,0.22192072019459008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551166767257756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409368774560993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999726058842916,0.2347813068302116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931370586676139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022537277517988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407397082476235,0.06501911941907128,0.0,0.09969939430747808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979015750711114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727907542899593,0.1003412495073516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376831547828724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129263699769637,0.0,0.0,0.10501583593557692,0.0,0.10274167292967304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003582766460918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044463953837151605,0.0,0.16073084433022847,0.0,0.07642730901099158,0.0,0.09935054536071858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659236498009396,0.07264505359259821,0.0,0.06690442413304258,0.20245313428452272,0.07019420376832437,0.0,0.09679248570542656,0.0,0.0891726124677708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334441686368773,0.06921886388767162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868814238416676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103680896720058,0.1035917856901648,0.1749141985990692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252492389706856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528621560694225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018806839854658,0.12883777856911266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842983258813501,0.0,0.0,0.08379178726833686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583169298915065,0.08941900453859904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111788050663707,0.0,0.0,0.0889056750569401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750945798840537,0.05368134167780706,0.0,0.07300448084850067,0.0,0.0818308797445336,0.33747680986785183,0.0,0.3048355454721543,0.0,0.08773249352955828,0.0,0.0,0.09242728640171416,0.0,0.06465244124785709,0.0,0.0,0.2930442991301215
mentalhealth,Sab-939,2019/01/03,"How do I know if my emotions/reactions are valid? I just feel like no one takes me seriously and automatically assumes that if I'm upset it's because I'm crazy, and not because something external happened made me react/emote.  

Problem is that I'm starting to internalize it and starting to question: 

* the validity of my emotions  (I.e. am I upset because of xyz or is it just my brain  again?) 
* my sense of reality (I.e. did I experience the same thing as other people?)

So my question is: How do you know when you can trust your brain?",3.5437756202804738,5.6470770776699055,5.484983818770228,76.12180151024813,74.33980582524272,7.684573894282633,31.832793959007553,8.515128840125781,2.7412295577130523,421,21,77,8,9,145,65,103,0.14300000000000002,0.802,0.055,-0.8105,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,0,0,7,6,0,2,2,0,9,2,2,3,0,20,20,11,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,1,14,2,6,18,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,6,5,55,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412705624183565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4166410906544246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41982643699791067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18254220123483145,0.0,0.0,0.09435656044925148,0.13331554579573174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502024621110034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20511398929102306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116912574330216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657664835565906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645302183387885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937316295089218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17856234181178388,0.0,0.0,0.4180959692537016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366292225170416,0.0,0.0,0.2641696615167143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403088900881346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397662379933436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sm441709,2019/01/03,"How to get my brother-in-law into therapy Hello all. I have a brother-in-law (BIL) (m26) who I believe needs treatment/therapy. He has always displayed a lot of signs of Asberger's/Autism spectrum: very quiet and reserved unless the topic is one of his interests, does not pick up on social cues, rarely makes eye contact/smiles etc. His girlfriend (f22) has recently reached out to my wife, BIL's sister, stating that BIL has been scaring her lately (saying hurtful things, not spending time with her, making rash life decisions, not being himself etc.). She is worried because in the past he talked about being depressed and how, at times, he thought about killing himself and specific ways he would do it. 

​

Full disclosure: the girlfriend has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia so it is possible that some things she tells us may not be 100% accurate.  


There is tension in the family, between BIL, his girlfriend and his parents. His girlfriend reached out to my in-laws awhile ago when he first talked about his depression/suicidal thoughts and she felt like they didn't take it very seriously. I think my in-laws have a somewhat dismissive attitude about mental illness/therapy and they thought they could help him by checking in with him more and spending more time with him. BIL's girlfriend rarely comes to spend time with the very close-knit family and the in-laws take this personally.

​

Note: As far as he knows, his girlfriend is the only person that knows about all of this. He knows that his parents know he went to therapy because the bill was sent to their house but I don't think they ever talked about specifics or reasons why he was going. We are getting a lot of 3rd hand info from his girlfriend.  


The girlfriend has had her own past with depression including a suicide attempt and she sees the red flags in his behavior right now that scare her. At one point she showed him a list of Asberger's symptoms and he agreed that it sounded exactly like him but when she told him it was for Asberger's he got very offended and thought she was calling him slow/dumb. She got him to see a therapist several months ago but he stopped going after about a month because it cost too much (nearly $1000 in about a month) and according to him ""they weren't getting into anything serious"".  


I'm looking for advice on 1) How to get him to be more open to therapy, 2) How to find a good/affordable therapist, and 3) Any advice on handling the awkward dynamic between the in-laws/girlfriend.  


I am seeing if the girlfriend can get us his insurance info so I can try to find somewhere he might be covered.  


TLDR; My brother-in-law has a history of (un-diagnosed) autism symptoms, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I'm looking for advice on getting him to open up about the idea of therapy and advice on finding a good/affordable therapist.  


Thank you, redditors!",6.791724900486512,7.772897473684214,6.37137549756745,77.2521074745688,64.86466165413535,9.642282176028306,37.07563025210085,9.701314574385464,3.723161919504644,2304,114,396,45,34,715,251,532,0.097,0.857,0.046,-0.982,5,0,0,0,0,1,91.0,3,1,6,2,21,17,2,4,26,0,37,7,3,8,4,81,76,31,3,4,10,4,2,2,9,3,4,3,0,2,17,29,0,1,20,1,6,5,7,12,0,3,20,12,57,5,67,47,14,52,0,4,7,0,86,25,0,8,22,257,74,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232501720728344,0.10545496728123173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04949405143803668,0.12889812775926435,0.14455504773891675,0.0404500142044837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04894887734880565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087796021107134,0.0,0.0,0.06701620026572963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060738094540411534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051238747789117904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0474917887232935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369609326969624,0.1207465960671662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05205337504689781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267701021203004,0.0,0.053805159702101285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214926632884813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711235085242205,0.0,0.1630972759755972,0.050595627088902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864623285128693,0.0,0.0676103412195773,0.0997818880689006,0.09514688286949186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03986974217624272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863460571792966,0.06367704887344769,0.0671482938692646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580836894695836,0.0,0.1307596997778351,0.0,0.06709864263347552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04201411846493234,0.058120109468923625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990032785664296,0.0,0.0,0.1011394748831416,0.0,0.0,0.07940981482855995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05994418352882696,0.06310133672232393,0.0,0.0,0.14243464996301725,0.0,0.043726345938659206,0.04410538316812048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061351265289678,0.0452389812341047,0.0,0.0,0.1320961439786505,0.0,0.11356520121866764,0.0,0.1038753269270727,0.0,0.0,0.05623001443223356,0.06705737322636733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06115772699226745,0.05873161045310999,0.0,0.0,0.05079757234195212,0.0,0.0473027246478671,0.11910434896953488,0.0,0.14219911250675926,0.0,0.0,0.06719808542903424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06063472976115526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972987911245432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951919960168454,0.0,0.0,0.12364980213553994,0.08944659702393444,0.1434288958946511,0.05199016544489109,0.05476332431511531,0.40813926954002216,0.20719065831988487,0.07903481456093964,0.07622773182968537,0.0,0.2361115709248187,0.13873846580502347,0.0,0.0,0.05683790141907619,0.0,0.04038458763185148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309980311305182,0.0,0.0,0.19631655877338075,0.0,0.04721429328710682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551407022994943,0.05367353776217018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060407178624483165,0.0,0.04225453022599802,0.0,0.14455504773891675,0.0
mentalhealth,ozymandias7125,2019/01/03,"I completely succumbed to my anxiety the last month (21 M) 2018 was a hard year and I don’t know how to move forward I missed about a week of work and I just went on a weed and alcohol bender and I can barely remember December but now that I kinda ran out of money I’m forced to face the music and it’s scary and I don’t know what to do. I try and reach out to my family but they don’t understand and blame me(I know it’s my fault but I knew not to rely on my family for support) I don’t know what to do and I’m scared 


TLDR: I went on a weed and alcohol bender cause I didn’t know how to manage my anxiety and I kinda fucked up my life.",-1.726034482758621,0.19078665517241333,1.72301724137931,95.62245689655177,96.24137931034485,5.658620689655173,14.836206896551724,7.1686216300943375,-0.09569655172413816,495,11,122,10,20,178,74,145,0.219,0.772,0.008,-0.9826,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,5,5,1,1,6,0,9,5,1,3,0,31,24,16,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,13,2,0,8,0,1,5,6,4,0,0,6,1,20,1,18,18,0,16,0,1,0,1,1,7,1,2,6,77,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618007397908489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589853490382429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738890497846482,0.0,0.0,0.17747855073493146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191492961012913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648930628213958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163453131726104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4651375295240962,0.13797933406034885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956187296920633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511135579742278,0.17990942780963287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175226404042886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947087743208794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19208794543072785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149246280243472,0.0,0.0,0.17621820040428313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577984871543858,0.0,0.0,0.31383381989878795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123232087060504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900566688606704
mentalhealth,idkanymorehonestly,2019/01/03,"Struggling with obsession I posted this earlier but I decided to revise. So recently I’ve been talking to someone and I’ve really enjoyed talking to them, they seem to understand me on a level which no one else has in awhile, but I wouldn’t be posting this if it were all positive. Lately I’ve began to have a bit of an obsession over this person, they’re all I think about, these thoughts are dominating all my other thoughts and it’s starting to become a problem. I know it’s creepy, I know it’s wrong, and I know it’s unhealthy yet I just can’t seem to break free of this obsession. It feels like my entire life is centered around this one person right now and I can’t seem to get over it, I’m starting to not be able to concentrate on other things because my thoughts always trail off to this person, i haven’t been able to sleep some nights because of this, that’s how bad it is right now, it’s become a problem. I need help/advice, anything that you all could provide on this subject would be greatly appreciated.",2.64390757381258,4.775588892682934,3.8715532734274696,86.52270860077023,77.14634146341464,6.657252888318357,26.399229781771503,7.669130373188453,1.5340731707317068,813,32,160,12,19,265,109,205,0.166,0.73,0.103,-0.8915,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,2,0,8,12,0,4,5,0,17,2,1,1,4,36,35,9,0,7,5,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,3,24,6,0,0,13,0,1,0,6,8,0,2,7,1,18,5,25,22,6,24,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,5,10,111,42,0,0.23892842366223604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673904517453915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940379432196698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830886732647882,0.10634847641341362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974762685552173,0.14564854941104807,0.26387767228205217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042397835998662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538245225575832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979701967205457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040469499975016,0.08534525680222893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062415119978249625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170971528952416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800743429928899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19696321969000766,0.0,0.13476083444030434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438110579279258,0.05836417953026099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858119934724233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210907007585406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190408338973727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129346254644195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288273839519068,0.0,0.0,0.22862223345631724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653183315498707,0.0,0.11795649691332726,0.0,0.0,0.2040435683248221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262671950671168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195504874561796,0.0,0.1012216390084859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911476802597833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248899326671464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19204161649187304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936671400527898,0.07654784318792751,0.0,0.2845237197358628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243664576479079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486394848914111,0.13061536183117026,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jaycobs_ladder,2019/01/03,"Is it possible to develop anxiety as an adult? Probably a dumb question but it seems valid to me. 
Over the past year or so I’ve noticed “new” behavioral and emotional tendencies such as self isolation, feeling like something is seriously wrong for no apparent reason,  general uneasiness (spiritually and mentally), and most prominently, literally nothing makes me happy anymore. I’ve always been melancholic and I’m pretty sure I’ve been depressed for a while but there’s always been a light at the end of the tunnel. Lately though, the light is hard to find. My hobbies and outlets don’t work as well if at all anymore. When I spend time with friends I’ll wish I was alone and simultaneously wish I could be as carefree as them. But I can’t? There’s just always something in the back of my mind telling me nothing is okay. That I NEED to be worried. That something bad is GOING to happen and I am running out of time. 
I remain hopeful that I can pull through and that this is only a phase, but I’m a very deep feeling person and I often worry that all of my life experiences and traumas have just built me up to be this anxious, lonely person forever. Maybe this was more of a rant but any advice or insight would be lovely. Cheers. ",4.3225383077948045,6.190146894514773,5.406382411725517,78.51851432378416,71.61603375527427,8.196224739062847,31.039085054408172,8.841846274778883,2.727646413502109,982,44,177,19,19,324,143,237,0.214,0.622,0.165,-0.9,1,4,3,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,1,11,17,1,0,12,1,22,2,0,2,3,43,35,27,0,7,10,0,3,1,1,1,1,0,0,4,10,12,0,0,7,0,1,3,3,8,1,0,5,5,17,9,26,24,4,20,0,3,0,1,9,7,1,8,11,122,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279308935338585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954667164895537,0.0,0.0,0.2881313883866313,0.0,0.0,0.07849373419206443,0.0,0.08830068213341062,0.1303986848859396,0.2289434324133934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875557780322223,0.09637600660414572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215838149047356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941636633700712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983887299061034,0.10223330086803846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290891469835508,0.0,0.0,0.11672585038337815,0.0824604583838157,0.0,0.0,0.10549740199645588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917795041535242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559933607805782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207095552102614,0.12287327371825857,0.10339915056984186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464420261529193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020571495711727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152889713286564,0.05639138222307093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417659903019166,0.0,0.07704784559387277,0.0,0.11596107322976908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163224018781807,0.0,0.116547498384746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558702118957116,0.0,0.11147928650072017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215089912103516,0.13141342687089605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778678173408394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018731257872236,0.0,0.20157130871968032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012563118123927,0.0,0.11742988211457635,0.12444890281339399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930369473156272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867729741834733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050796239060729,0.1204146388466828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26658204827332177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878777213113366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088753507978708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134055977435244,0.0,0.13461182240953595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523865494805228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037819631206184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26546873200474136,0.0,0.0,0.08403160556051023,0.2344416987481381,0.0,0.08199541901773666,0.12620036557538314,0.0,0.07433065058074569
mentalhealth,DrugsOverLove,2019/01/03,"How Can Music Impact Mental Health? in my late teens i dealt with depression which eventually led me into an opiate addiction. at the time i would only listen to artists who focused heavily on being sad and drug use such as lil peep, suicide boys etc. 

now that i am in my early twenties and getting better i still listen to the same music. and i am wondering how can such music impacts on mental health? ",4.621861471861474,6.405799779220778,5.812402597402599,76.24812770562772,70.6883116883117,7.730735930735931,27.119047619047624,8.344100000000001,2.1293047619047623,321,11,53,5,6,107,57,77,0.139,0.7959999999999999,0.065,-0.7998,0,0,1,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,4,0,12,11,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,1,10,9,2,12,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,1,5,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401432219818146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19482422722473905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897311925062152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554607244519816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24567606271080497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508984774308398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4683054185786274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24849113360465136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4439910416504333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16753670847543864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591992708606807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409560931842264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844998531036125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19025555735542013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388897421696843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648418065840072,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,silvergymnasium,2019/01/03,"Nights that are too quiet I have lived my life haunted by something that happened in my past. I do my best not to let it get to me, but some nights are harder than others. Last night was one of them. No matter how tired you are, you can't fall asleep when you feel the sickening, irrational feeling that something will get you when you close your eyes. You know it won't, but your fear response doesn't listen to logic.

When this happens, I need to make noise. I need to distract myself, listen to music, go somewhere, anywhere, that has decent enough lighting and doesn't feel dangerous. It can be a challenge at 2am.

When it gets to me, I find myself feeling the need to apologise for my own fear. I reach out to loved ones, just to say that it is getting to me. They all say that it is fine, and it is better that I let them know what is happening, but i still feel like I need to apologise. I feel like I'm weak for letting it get to me. I feel like I'm selfish for burdening my friends with my trauma. More to the point, I feel like people will see how damaged I am and decide I'm not worth the trouble.",3.481447368421052,4.327069820175439,4.199956140350878,90.33177631578948,72.28947368421052,6.928070175438597,25.653508771929822,6.9077264865688965,0.8843982456140349,861,26,188,7,16,275,122,228,0.146,0.639,0.214,0.9377,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,8,3,3,9,21,1,4,5,0,23,6,2,3,1,35,54,12,0,4,6,0,8,4,1,3,3,5,0,0,18,6,0,0,13,0,1,2,7,11,0,2,1,16,36,10,24,46,6,17,0,1,2,1,17,5,0,1,14,132,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081598205289941,0.09115216330146292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064931659410896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319524030074934,0.4169000109330475,0.29451716041344256,0.0,0.0,0.09419907394393594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962736699076861,0.0,0.269234703128492,0.0,0.058573923081988964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734187564251966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328309336786935,0.08401131273575932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161712623588162,0.07279749514442413,0.2014084094321211,0.0,0.09100783024659988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301972342032143,0.0,0.06879634537883694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056840447293089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901571177984012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396783274370595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838671482768216,0.0714519382540424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742925359764568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392203353000576,0.0,0.0,0.08212905233187623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586881547299029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230743244900972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845746640364307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ALWAYSMANIC,2019/01/03,"Used to hear faint screams in my head as a kid, anyone else relate? It would usually be in the morning after I’d gotten out of bed. I’d be watching cartoons are playing video games and a distant faint scream would build up in my head. A single voice. Not sure why but I never told anyone. I’d close my eyes and try to focus on making it go away and sometimes it’d get to the point that I’d be screaming into a pillow to drawn out the voice. Anyone think this was mild schizophrenia? I haven’t experience since I was 10-13 years old, I’m currently 27. I realize this isn’t uncommon but I’m wondering if anyone had this exclusively at a young age, like I did.",2.0869464720194664,3.839454817518252,3.849361313868617,87.79890815085159,77.46715328467154,6.610462287104625,23.095498783454985,7.492282038375204,0.9356184914841849,518,16,109,7,12,174,90,137,0.07,0.893,0.037000000000000005,-0.4662,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,8,0,13,5,3,2,2,20,24,7,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,6,2,1,7,7,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,3,0,0,6,8,8,3,17,12,1,21,0,0,2,0,4,12,0,2,9,61,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4984863816914145,0.18261628370913216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745165581651594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488871425678608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743417901663815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311709805692714,0.0,0.10129143226758264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36582796702816206,0.0,0.200876608480328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707350126420159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896898810147208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374608995175306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702095585482373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848365488262174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743255657913812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17627266289414986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797836550128972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114201703411937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030508463562782,0.0,0.12100553403453194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393230365277447,0.1962936454480841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16082360824483322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328133612675907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532169966416839,0.0,0.0,0.1147733880987148
mentalhealth,conlarghezza,2019/01/03,"I feel absolutely horrible. I have psychotic depression, but I don't take any medications for it. I take medication for my ADHD and insomnia.
Even when I feel happy, there's always a bit of depression lingering in the back of my mind. I also have GAD and being depressed has a tendency to cause stress and anxiety in my life. For the past two days, I have been so anxious that I slept a total of 2 hours. When I don't get sleep, my body stops working. I drank a tiny bit of juice this morning and I threw it up almost immediately. My asthma is also really bad when I am tired. Everything hurts and I don't want to be trapped in thisb vicious cycle anymore. I have been thinking about killing myself for months now and even when I happy, the thought lingers.

 I don't think living like this is worth living at all.",4.001314699792959,5.3672536397515564,5.400263975155281,80.24192805383024,71.60869565217392,8.844927536231882,28.323498964803314,9.2995712137729,2.4251610766045557,640,24,126,14,12,215,99,161,0.305,0.627,0.067,-0.9923,0,1,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,1,13,11,2,1,7,0,16,10,3,1,2,19,28,14,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,6,1,1,5,0,1,1,4,8,0,1,6,2,22,3,16,20,4,17,0,4,0,0,0,5,0,1,12,88,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813615580132628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176050104869405,0.0,0.0,0.21045237139473744,0.10948687701727396,0.0,0.0,0.08948036383923412,0.0,0.10065997300137286,0.1486503590108361,0.13049412059328833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117853961643587,0.10986558640731907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873072235563108,0.14615808874544522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517109845447206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485959145752422,0.0,0.3399944998021002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381751817078642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182575383349316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330637619582713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874623460491856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801432586077458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958189762108915,0.0,0.14086139679953966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557613669237404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294035318806178,0.06428438461560465,0.0,0.2323788715317088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651103154301869,0.0,0.0,0.13286044634469624,0.0,0.10502760466762293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256100365398119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429488493574427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316771618905631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000855658958697,0.15072689089695046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978667796115591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862503791169867,0.0,0.1044615172009707,0.0,0.15123430749197714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853662611296982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761055230797942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579336130385856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rampant_Reptile,2019/01/03,"Feel like a train wreck. Disclaimer first. I don’t have health insurance so I haven’t seen a professional and been diagnosed, so this is all kinda just how I feel and doesn’t have the professional diagnosis to back it up. But I’ve started a new job and will look into the insurance they provide to rectify that.

I feel like I’ve got social anxiety bad, and maybe depression but maybe not. The depression symptoms have gotten a lot less severe and frequent since I quit drinking, so maybe I just feel mopey at times from the anxiety. 

I hate leaving the house to do anything. I feel awkward and stay quiet during family gatherings, I can’t think how to describe it other than feeling awkward around everyone. And plus my whole family is all doing alright on their own, married, own their homes and all that.  and I’m the only one in the “failure to launch” kind of situation so I really feel like the black sheep of the family.

I don’t like being in public, I don’t like to ask for help. If i can’t find a place that i’m looking for while driving, or a product I’m looking for in a store, I’ll just leave and go back home.  I don’t like to talk on the phone I worry I won’t know what to say and will just embarrass myself.

I especially can’t enjoy large public events like parties, concerts, conventions, parks and stuff like that at all. I don’t really get claustrophobic in tight spaces, but if I’m in a big group of people I do. I usually start to feel jittery and short of breath and just get out of there quick as I can. 

I used to drink when I was feeling depressed cause it kinda made me forget about it for a while but that was a terrible idea. I turned into a heavy drinker for a while, ruined some relationships with my long time friends and my now ex gf. I’ve since quit drinking and I don’t feel as pathetic and useless anymore. I’ve started a new job and I’m trying to get my shit together and stay positive about it, although I’m deeply in the hole financially. It seems hopeless at times but I try and not think of it that way.

Really now I just feel kind of lonely at times. I have 1 friend who I used to go fishing with and stuff, but we don’t do much together anymore. And no one else to text or talk to and share about our day/week or whatever.

Certainly no prospects of a gf with the social anxiety, afraid to go out and meet and talk to people, the large amounts of debt which will consume 99% of my income for prolly years to come. and the fact I still live at home with a mediocre mechanic job. Nobody’s gonna want to date me. 

I suppose the thing I need to do is get insurance and see a professional about social anxiety and try to get help with it so I might feel more comfortable and be able to go out and do things and make more friends. I just came here to rant about myself I suppose. I hope that’s alright.",3.7824310068360214,4.775509839100348,4.933654316819986,84.80002405266269,71.71626297577855,8.476394632458435,27.2463499029454,8.841846274778883,1.9010914338762768,2229,76,470,41,41,736,251,578,0.14800000000000002,0.7170000000000001,0.135,-0.7934,5,2,4,0,0,1,50.0,2,0,3,4,29,35,2,4,31,2,36,8,2,8,6,108,90,57,0,5,20,1,13,8,5,6,3,3,3,0,24,46,3,1,18,4,2,7,17,15,0,3,8,22,50,20,73,74,14,60,1,7,6,0,30,24,1,12,34,303,74,6,0.061772906416724435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18902441731565625,0.0,0.12252424858055985,0.0,0.0,0.05083383858822653,0.054990983327576064,0.05774932877022891,0.0,0.0,0.09499910404101236,0.05157779660194012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065174845069254,0.0,0.06345779102018362,0.0,0.05321188913106753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03983841429374412,0.0,0.1596147413399949,0.06269819970351047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154179329190565,0.0,0.0,0.05160333678495036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902665930092775,0.0,0.0,0.17470199556541405,0.0,0.3748108506295006,0.1323917300607548,0.0,0.0,0.0564593173543284,0.052544002641361935,0.0,0.0,0.1431767827897247,0.0,0.16136897010024662,0.0,0.14042786509524605,0.0,0.049405436323849215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060987956202198726,0.0,0.06566171088964637,0.0,0.0,0.0828101541082957,0.0,0.18588978537270584,0.06135443428747316,0.0,0.07127764021572472,0.0,0.06973409232047045,0.0,0.0,0.18390023370831798,0.0,0.0,0.12865395232413926,0.033948773865564545,0.0,0.0,0.13081717718349614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414329744414789,0.0,0.05454660809807678,0.05466707829879957,0.15562105045804722,0.0,0.0,0.05251711601546117,0.0,0.05845101765789638,0.04123389470764307,0.0,0.1861775620156407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553129181668993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045410193898001466,0.04580382738634608,0.0,0.11932131589723324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371784016671224,0.046981078923690564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565111075015093,0.0,0.06453953951255388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140617950306874,0.0,0.0,0.11871991690867062,0.0,0.0,0.06632098362669163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912429456549471,0.0,0.0,0.04922500864897459,0.05623573397367405,0.0,0.06978580129214614,0.0634090007362496,0.10219837306303167,0.06943533499571879,0.0,0.1889090965389328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116954331548605,0.13168339818699595,0.049331922859712336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414303976175486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420570219040535,0.0,0.14895216678496803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207834834723236,0.07916316830239603,0.0,0.0,0.14408111398458526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581924573065115,0.06719118364477894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670391506582724,0.068034129207539,0.0,0.036435260685401705,0.049032457821477235,0.049550499443221055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896724397660578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273338499441747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03977972642807829
mentalhealth,singerlinger,2019/01/03,"Finally sought help I went to the doctor today to get help for my depression and anxiety. I’m starting sertraline 25mg tonight and it all feels very overwhelming. I had to take a survey at the apt and it asked questions about how often I feel different aspects of anxiety, and I was forced to recognize that this isn’t a once in a while thing. My boyfriend was incredibly supportive and helpful in recognizing the symptoms, part of my struggle is memory, or rather my lack of. 

Does anyone have any tips for navigating the scary side effects? Any helpful tips for a long-time denier? ",6.578466579292267,7.544694238532113,6.937903014416777,73.05568807339448,65.3302752293578,10.999213630406294,35.75491480996068,10.914260884657429,4.194139187418086,468,22,82,13,7,152,76,109,0.175,0.7070000000000001,0.118,-0.6946,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,2,8,0,6,2,0,2,1,15,15,8,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,2,8,1,14,11,3,10,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,3,5,54,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457200082914941,0.0,0.2764200807783686,0.0,0.0,0.12632682294815642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16889959879528302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15560853749718334,0.0,0.0,0.18875894425498888,0.0,0.1849207045090411,0.15810322937669338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827016972708572,0.0,0.0,0.19791226836947548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439124190129228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4843901081765338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15988493353255245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240484831628205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19564515134078436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20238879745367344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787729145905516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888727579075194,0.0,0.0,0.20501918579445247,0.0,0.1877825694472726,0.13583937480997751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002737002177692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125153797277556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906949786746196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748045819880927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chronormie,2019/01/03,"Feeling abandoned I've been abandoned before and by a whole bunch of people. And I think it's happening again. Not sure if I'll be able to restore our friendship, they don't seem to be interested in it anyways. They knew I was having a bad time. Yet they leave precisely at this moment.

Anyone who has experienced something similar? How do you deal with this?",3.08944099378882,5.6543594347826085,4.158633540372673,82.8039130434783,77.84057971014492,6.8414078674948255,27.248447204968944,7.957251820313856,1.966592546583852,287,12,52,5,7,93,56,69,0.175,0.7,0.125,-0.575,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,1,1,3,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,1,2,14,13,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,2,7,2,7,8,2,6,0,2,0,0,7,2,0,2,4,39,12,0,0.30262412508062697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116018246177563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526785038241742,0.0,0.0,0.25751084112360145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31199218477738594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530158504783268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676095143772774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32043525298620784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098014644000196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754976377061393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23297483636412736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28521965647908065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390931992506166,0.0,0.0,0.17646256097326127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378690283219665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Amori17,2019/01/03,Tips? So i’ve been feeling pretty bad lately but i’m currently at a vacation which i’m enjoying alot. But even if i’m enjoying life right now I can’t stop thinking about the sad life I have back at home which is making me not enjoy myself here. What can I do to change that?,1.7932203389830477,3.3176920508474623,3.812000000000001,88.74952542372883,77.64406779661016,7.4318644067796615,21.969491525423727,8.238735603445708,1.068468474576271,217,6,48,4,5,74,46,59,0.187,0.621,0.193,0.1027,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,1,0,9,12,4,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,5,3,4,11,1,8,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,5,31,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351469836801927,0.255336372237379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32350363854900577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198287731560607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462538983189605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067497163515661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449640224073617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320015647032397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041287876084185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31111602511769976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611578147613131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25566864632676545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19594900849632796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pm-me-ur-udders,2019/01/03,"Am I overthinking this or do I actually have a risk of developing Alzeihmer's? Hello. I'm 18 and I suffer from BPD, anxiety (generalised and social), panic attacks and depression.

I have trouble recollecting things. Mostly names. Sometimes I forget the names of people, friends I've known for ages. I can see what they look like, but I can't get their name for a few seconds.

My attention span has greatly reduced and I can't focus on anything for long. I'm not sure what's causing this. I suspect it might have something to do with my excessive usage of phone (8+ hours a day) but I'm not sure.

Am I overthinking this? Should I get it checked out? ",1.7545931758530209,4.362933488188978,3.5072755905511848,84.99723884514438,84.1968503937008,6.536272965879268,26.576902887139106,7.793537801064563,1.9155872965879264,511,23,97,10,15,170,84,127,0.199,0.769,0.032,-0.9411,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,0,0,11,1,2,4,0,13,0,0,1,2,25,20,7,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,4,0,1,0,4,6,0,1,0,2,15,5,11,18,2,7,0,2,2,0,9,3,0,3,5,63,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.2029010130330557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590590821252386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110135974112894,0.0,0.0,0.2365402821847503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618693628464948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135922572692856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409191681953314,0.0,0.17908214971543887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606393359163976,0.0,0.21726039953687504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22923376079916144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204760413509906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157975317363167,0.0,0.0,0.18400364186083185,0.17460136841395058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205714430943103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439506266698547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414631985005216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656862072001599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119493902942946,0.0,0.16006783067789654,0.2056392970085847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3919263761855013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813354841522948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bagelboi3000,2019/01/03,"What's wrong with me? ​

By no means do I have a bad life. In most respects of life I'm super lucky. But I feel like there's something wrong with me that's really holding me back almost all of the time. 

​

\- I talk very slow. EVERYONE points this out. I don't mind it too much because everyone just assumes i'm chilled and laid back but I know this isn't really the reason. I'm saying words as they come to mind my mind, but they always take a while to come to my mind

\- I feel spaced out 95% of the time, like I'm daydreaming, but because this is me most of the time I'm functional in this state

\- I'm not stupid. I got top grades in my exams at school and I'm studying medicine at university

\- My brother is heavily dyslexic and my sister is diagnosed with very slow processing

​

I've never done anything about this before as it's never been crippling, but I do feel it is holding me back. And if anyone could give me any advice, suggestions or explanations I'd be so thankful. Would also be great to hear if anyone else experiences the same too.

​",2.9034756245452336,4.857047788018433,3.9268833373756986,87.25092650982296,75.72811059907833,6.964734416686878,25.245937424205675,7.85451343220497,1.3799456221198163,858,30,173,13,19,277,116,217,0.045,0.8320000000000001,0.123,0.9649,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,2,2,10,11,1,0,7,0,15,3,0,1,3,45,34,17,0,4,10,2,3,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,10,11,0,2,7,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,3,5,21,7,22,27,5,24,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,8,13,106,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195098407816334,0.0,0.0,0.08397773708653443,0.0,0.0,0.06706605459739988,0.06978161208710347,0.3634666748310832,0.4076160255006982,0.05703043331720181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727939458267038,0.08592863508797863,0.06901297170084843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934588453538544,0.07002298303921954,0.10224549923246798,0.0,0.0713621340458799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444829153469272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695862395020383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512025064411864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582204538777435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005765687020046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027139720564104,0.0,0.0820351381788785,0.0,0.0,0.12721255833734926,0.059912497749910025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045004346722143,0.0,0.0,0.06707374602388506,0.09246041685961416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452088519833172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608949147124495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184713246023902,0.08194348241016212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135254163930337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387151549525805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061649730050853314,0.0,0.12936225876024116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927863936688878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745092237099936,0.08622621622411025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066692062705212,0.0,0.08487490109140658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456264687494752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305533245596083,0.06740675080878039,0.0,0.07721075448312921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670541490960526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839325689219156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059574618595222985,0.18338435819456808,0.4076160255006982,0.0
mentalhealth,Danielg997,2019/01/03,"Am I going crazy I feel like I'm losing my mind, I say losing because I have a constant tendency to talk to ""myself"" it's like theres two peopl in my head constantly warding for who gets to take over, recently a third voice has appeared a voice that not like the other two, one that inspires me, who tells me to keep trying, that no matter what happens in life as long as I keep trying to obtain what I'm after I'll obtain it, he speaks too the other two like they're misguided children. I hear him in my head  telling me I'm going to end up dead, not in body but in soul if I continue to listen to the other two. But the other two are still they're. At night when I'm alone staring into the mirror they appear one telling me to follow my instincts and forget what people think this is your life he says do what you want that is free will. While the other wants me to conform, he wants me to be timid and not do things to anger others, he wants me to form good relationships with people because that's how I'll feel the most warmth. The third is in my head he has no voice but he has more power then the other 2. I know this sounds crazy but I need to know, am i falling into insanity?",4.368013333333336,4.2264467080000045,5.400400000000001,86.02953333333336,69.92,7.786666666666667,25.06666666666667,7.03164865440522,0.9007866666666664,927,21,202,7,15,307,127,250,0.133,0.775,0.092,-0.8912,1,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,1,5,5,11,1,1,12,0,14,6,4,1,0,33,40,13,1,6,8,0,2,4,0,1,2,9,0,1,23,5,0,2,6,0,1,6,5,4,0,9,0,12,27,8,30,38,3,29,1,2,1,0,23,11,0,4,16,137,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644744837007376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253055436375557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416365659948804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22213392197309614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103117523680414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039357161579845,0.07342492488757246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05369748323414871,0.0,0.1168226909869171,0.08620566370244094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908866187409532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164409362403248,0.0,0.11583875078893348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18270836690413672,0.0,0.0,0.1129686651859763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519087731198418,0.20084938091239246,0.0,0.0,0.09095566881867327,0.0,0.22996552801270595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377690692553808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620889727468122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645058621840367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929063673017458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137608494666882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148129199414434,0.1103455609884035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346705207211354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207898020982883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727658206916915,0.08260940206014776,0.2694986117168946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828141636406514,0.06585626251501847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955960335203155,0.0,0.5019979178016983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24248550369637706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,b-lighter,2019/01/03,"I'm sick of living with human beings, What should I do? I'm just sick of living around people. They are all the same: they speak, think, have faces, walk, pee and fuck. I feel just like a canadian sick of maple syrup or an arab sick of falafel. I don't know where to escape I know there are other types of creatures and I would like them to give me a chance to join their society because people just don't make sense anymore. And I dont mind leaving my human habits behind.",3.464550810014728,4.492329092783507,3.8039764359351977,92.47103092783506,72.50515463917526,6.36759941089838,21.073637702503678,6.18269132825596,0.04624418262150254,370,7,81,2,7,115,64,97,0.16399999999999998,0.728,0.107,-0.8316,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,4,0,6,3,1,0,4,0,10,7,2,1,1,19,19,4,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,2,4,1,0,2,2,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,2,12,2,11,16,2,3,0,0,0,1,8,2,1,1,2,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421896478801895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21739773217110167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886750334290072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862110592611149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347937787453307,0.17446291574727885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257672301791189,0.0,0.2342674680978035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684216939493166,0.0,0.0,0.2585820067928836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386163055234033,0.0,0.4312819368044001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16301136396534271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246581413562028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386074608649745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647922822094704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347902449402167,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TimFooler_Brad,2019/01/03,"Extreme shift in emotion Hello r/mentalhealth

I've never had any symptoms before, this wierd thing just happened to me a few minutes ago and I'm scared. I need to know if it's something to worry about.

I was watching a documentary on YouTube about the 9/11 attacks and 'the flight that fought back', and it contained some very emotional scenes in it. Now I would consider myself not as a very emotional person, but it got to me and I actually got a bit teary-eyed.

I went to the bathroom and began properly crying thinking about the people in the plane, but just a few seconds after I started crying, I stopped and became normal again. I went from proper crying to poker face in a matter of seconds. I would like to know if this is something I need to look into.


I would also like to note that my sleep schedule has not the best, as it's the winter holidays. For the past month I've stayed up till almost 5 am, and woken up at 2pm. I don't know if that's a contributing factor but it's out there.",3.688208955223878,4.984040208955225,4.8996815920398005,83.80116417910448,72.28358208955223,7.151044776119402,26.832835820895525,7.554174236665415,1.48503223880597,786,27,153,9,15,260,119,201,0.13699999999999998,0.792,0.071,-0.9314,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,10,6,2,1,15,0,9,3,2,0,1,35,26,17,0,9,10,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,12,9,0,2,4,2,0,2,4,3,0,2,9,2,16,3,29,14,5,27,0,0,2,0,3,10,0,5,16,110,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.12045448469890087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941743497192688,0.0,0.12360204571837295,0.0,0.0,0.09871070398047097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393984490136609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042481787143601,0.0,0.09491368338654983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503385850717152,0.0,0.12953712724959696,0.0,0.13475874901273344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40676174394635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4165423510492831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197444049105632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915291855531778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20350948821454384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060794218290034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365408011343448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852441885463974,0.0,0.0,0.18305056723747615,0.0952004684589148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093982159347312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178324107415362,0.08557409556132807,0.10777843967197777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357969182706433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352386682294188,0.0,0.0,0.1900521616226312,0.0,0.0,0.08736773277938592,0.13156499199602675,0.0,0.10319695608908827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829594027919214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200454569084102,0.07909198689796093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036931484338132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288504510962028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535395362373408,0.0,0.2630534586925219,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheMagicianLFC,2019/01/03,"NHS Mental health services are terrible Can i just say the NHS in UK really dont fucking care about mental health issues. I made an attempt on my life in August, finally got an session with a councillor in December. All she talked about was some self-help stuff on the internet, which she simply typed in google and printed off for me. THANKS!

Then i called today for an update on what happens next, and I have to wait another month to see the GP before we decide the next step. 

Is it just me? Has anyone actually had postive experience with NHS. They really don't care, i get the impression I am a nuisance to them. ",4.351416666666669,5.842545308333339,5.540000000000003,79.09166666666668,70.91666666666666,9.0,27.5,9.444778638647367,2.485750000000001,487,17,91,11,9,162,86,120,0.081,0.873,0.046,-0.6219,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,2,1,4,6,1,0,10,0,10,4,0,1,1,12,20,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,2,14,4,17,16,2,17,0,0,1,1,8,8,1,1,8,62,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.15641990539792672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807802751995507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120784859776171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639497319123814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367399842547115,0.0,0.3268526494347547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18785867122009686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679436471804414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755898460642033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818551028734905,0.08374490258640864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819854553231247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174390631456665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34076152179036306,0.0,0.0,0.10743899965180033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730110199003626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321755829698606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167026153776952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32306921297919594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794193852683575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409404396735168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20537174051919235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746903138991747,0.0,0.0,0.12773036698327414,0.0,0.1672174145961693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349368629980095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883502003403,0.0,0.1475734845742004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193616564871582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,knight-tyto,2019/01/03,"What to eat when not feeling hungry? I've always been like this, where in the morning I'm not feeling hungry until about lunch time but I still try to eat something. However it's gotten harder since I started taking meds cause now I HAVE to eat every morning. My doctor says eating something small like crackers or a granola bar is good but I'd like more options. What do you guys usually eat that doesn't require cooking and gives you enough energy until lunch? I'm planning on going to the store later but I'd like to make a list.",2.361483704974269,4.8146327641509465,3.5304459691252177,86.91446826758148,79.84905660377359,4.986620926243568,23.78730703259005,6.11248444174946,0.7438415094339623,427,15,77,3,11,138,74,106,0.022,0.8059999999999999,0.172,0.9516,1,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,0,5,10,0,2,0,13,15,8,0,0,6,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,1,9,1,2,2,1,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,6,5,10,13,2,14,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,13,43,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206011255679963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889260760720946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483515362167194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7415455454630177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976106287992547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211762876881666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657135084734932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390390033126542,0.08237235601257506,0.1215682255015512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351271469999136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832401234666593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674812195825354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099491093153356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526156516218446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989530374394328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22316274015133455,0.0,0.0,0.10258879710387696,0.0,0.11574872863954636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897633115384132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451528340032027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840428460575967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963018474397225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jktcat,2019/01/03,"Anxiety with no end in sight I wake up anxious, I stay anxious all day long.  It's been going on for 2 plus years now.  I've been to the ER 3 seperate times, each time with a short script for a benzo that helps until it's time to adjust the dosage or renew the prescription and then I can't find a GP that's willing to deal with it for whatever reason (maybe because it's not an easy fix and throwing benzo's at people isn't what they want to do, i get it). 

My frustration is that my current insurance doesn't cover ANY thing that can be labeled therapy, no psychologist, no psychiatrist, nothing of the sorts.  I'm currently PLEADING with my current GP to adjust my dosage of Klonopin (.5mg x2 daily) to something that will even touch the anxiety.  I've been on this dosage for close to a month now and at first it ""took the edge"" off but now I'm basically at square one, yes I know how tolerances work.

I'm afraid to look like I'm an addict seeking pills, because I'm not, and I'm tired of doctor shopping hoping because I know that they can see what's going on and will only assume that I'm an addict looking for a fix.  

My grandmother suffers the same plight, but luckily (for her) put her on a dosage of Xanax that does the job for her (she's much more elderly and I'm sure the ""risk"" of abuse is considered lower for her.)  She says one of my aunts is the same way, anxious from the time she wakes up until she finally falls asleep when her brain finally gives out.

Any insight on what I can do?  Where should I look?  Without therapy being covered is there even anything I can do other than beg and plead with different family doctors hoping one can help me get this under control?  ",5.3678070175438615,5.2490701959064365,6.122274853801169,81.62586842105263,67.80116959064327,9.296140350877193,30.55029239766082,8.982922981607832,2.3160790643274853,1325,46,272,21,20,436,178,342,0.08900000000000001,0.8170000000000001,0.094,0.8144,6,0,1,0,1,0,36.0,0,0,2,3,9,8,1,2,20,1,24,11,4,3,2,41,47,16,0,4,6,1,1,1,0,4,7,1,0,0,21,16,0,1,8,1,1,6,9,4,1,4,4,8,27,4,47,37,6,47,0,1,6,0,17,17,0,5,23,174,48,4,0.0,0.12153360031234385,0.0,0.2236419383524345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395078852763511,0.0,0.15693789523058246,0.3476387948382356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440978946339188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18758475800468788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450667999516792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504563659392228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615184405667053,0.10574944951687547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716815990324748,0.0,0.20997798762293424,0.0897633340445719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085025547404073,0.0,0.0,0.13549852360657147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669778421918104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22472994545659844,0.09375091914127964,0.08724952361847603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718152451497882,0.09839847588109876,0.11659051191767232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137506587498415,0.0,0.0,0.20375856023001945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178902112383406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274414579410882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05011255078336169,0.0,0.0,0.09077489912101908,0.25840936805189496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030495253358496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187371169581795,0.0,0.07540380606452708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842266790951754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085207056674669,0.07801226684522293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111200360344586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311535668139923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546331477003434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157108487123829,0.0,0.0,0.08173832100407094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896659563562364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933040102309648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667492692349423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346049707338618,0.0,0.06814571057297103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392472580244329,0.11789390160139372,0.0,0.0,0.11396366010439712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050089406804825,0.08141858959559499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887782479833067,0.0,0.07467520630015095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605439262426865
mentalhealth,kylo-renz,2019/01/03,"Anxiety Flare Up After Flight Hi there. Long time lurker, first time poster. I apologize for my formatting since I’m on mobile. I need to figure out what the hell is going on with me. First off, a little bit of backstory, I guess. I’m 18 right now, and when I was 13, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 adenocarcinoma of the lung. 

Before her diagnosis I dealt with a little bit of anxiety, mostly separation anxiety. After she became diagnosed, though, this anxiety transformed into a panic disorder and agoraphobia. I also was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and PTSD as time progressed and my mother became sicker and sicker. 

It was... really bad and really traumatic to say the least. I was one of her primary caretakers at age 16 and 17, since my dad could only take off so much time before it became leave without pay. She was in so much pain, and so ill, and I was faced with it every hour of every day. Had to drop out of school at one point to take care of her. 

She died in May of 2017. Throughout this whole process my anxiety had been getting progressively better with therapy, and my depression was always pretty bad, but manageable with medication and therapy.  The PTSD and depression were my main issues, the panic attacks still came and went, but I had pretty much knocked the agoraphobia out. 

So fast forward to a month ago, December 3rd. I was on a Delta flight from Atlanta to Tampa (where I go to University). This was only my 6th time flying, with my first time flying being around Thanksgiving time. So, my flight experience started in 2018.  Anyway, this flight ruined me.

The whole flight was pretty turbulent, but thanks to Ativan, I was okay. We start our descent to land, and we reach about maybe ~700 feet from the ground, and the pilot takes off again. It was absolutely paralyzingly scary. It was storming in Tampa, apparently, and the pilot couldn’t see the runway, and had to do a go around. Everyone I’ve spoken to, including pilots, say this is rare, and it is fucking terrifying. 

I had a lot of anxiety about planes to begin with, but this changed something in me and now my agoraphobia, panic attacks, and general anxiety are back. I don’t know what happened, I was doing so well, and it’s so discouraging to feel like I’m a million steps back in my growth process. Has anyone had an experience even somewhat similar, or have any advice? The counselors on campus are generally unhelpful, and my therapist that I love is back home 7 hours away. 

TL;DR: Scary flight reverted my anxiety and now I’m an anxious mess and can’t get over it. Help. ",5.073986486486486,6.907876583333337,6.18612612612613,73.81743243243245,69.625,9.689189189189193,28.59797297297297,10.030559657594573,3.085893581081081,2040,75,354,54,37,680,239,480,0.172,0.745,0.083,-0.991,1,0,1,0,0,0,76.0,3,0,0,6,27,23,4,3,22,1,39,13,3,0,0,62,66,40,1,3,6,3,1,1,0,1,8,2,1,0,17,42,0,1,3,0,1,8,4,16,1,6,25,4,42,7,64,37,13,73,1,5,1,2,18,32,2,6,34,252,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535196697137646,0.05928291211902832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348195185514159,0.055647478302105535,0.0,0.0,0.045479026718633034,0.0,0.4092891360925872,0.07555259454839147,0.0,0.0467623373129937,0.0,0.0,0.11907039513017074,0.0,0.15216573372129918,0.06283365885617019,0.15427412146542546,0.11167992004712696,0.0,0.0,0.11381573704411345,0.0,0.0,0.05914775743485218,0.14602592497332392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649009979098516,0.06818611846508207,0.0,0.07074757930397721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05339628108271287,0.0,0.0,0.04313048652956907,0.0,0.17280460513626286,0.2036379137333136,0.06940833736517295,0.0,0.15329493054138293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044171990445067776,0.0,0.11269443904793244,0.06390436414192081,0.0,0.1308381516357387,0.0,0.0,0.033815298271779134,0.04777733444165052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065802730673255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618272164948676,0.06988151827410508,0.0,0.11402415704616313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367316017804793,0.0,0.05913959580491531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482661144522821,0.0,0.06708363461194101,0.0,0.13172182881931213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980278593035265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03675415198777247,0.0,0.0,0.07081366814385273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032672992376033105,0.13405774712667345,0.0,0.05918452644204576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568569006832271,0.060359599138925836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718748702710083,0.0,0.0,0.06737209484584218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338102164464481,0.0,0.14748808085946544,0.04958885525721661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063591615296812,0.10172677942058816,0.07116242746295119,0.23539918289686365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322090063615372,0.0,0.0,0.2041155310506811,0.0,0.0,0.15635255209001622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568694090526002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711306152088463,0.0,0.10636742262928693,0.0,0.0676836501137566,0.05329274796928633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064359942235794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051485604640597434,0.0,0.0,0.09467254694332697,0.0,0.053408497102573706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085078173438826,0.0,0.0,0.06157186193156454,0.1529606116699999,0.0776499890947441,0.0,0.0,0.06570685243742316,0.0,0.2729778568770312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060130948313986125,0.061996158035586516,0.0,0.1493327904761311,0.0,0.06446757080398363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Freebiel0ve,2019/01/03,Disability/SSI... Being your own payee I been on SSI since 2010 and my dad is my payee.. I talked to my psychiatrist about two months ago back getting not having a payee anymore and handling my own money and he agrees and supports it.. how do I go about this? Could this hurt me or make me lose my SSI?,1.643989071038252,3.748074737704922,3.2700819672131125,89.72566939890713,80.31147540983606,5.3781420765027335,20.002732240437158,6.42735559955562,0.10830928961748663,233,6,49,2,6,77,44,61,0.111,0.821,0.068,-0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,9,10,6,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,11,1,4,7,2,5,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,36,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27167157138154163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303940820328611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23566033619641916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446953273574924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601205237854737,0.0,0.17417678952742685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280877966090381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34286710084189354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20457442388711106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446253990194576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25351926418552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477841667747953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463329737410057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993815154692676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SquidgyBubbles,2019/01/03,"Mother told me she is depressed too, so I feel she'd understand if I did take my life I've been depressed with suicidal thoughts for a while but I couldn't do that to my mother after she lost a son already. I wouldn't want her to feel like a failure.

However, recently she told me that she's depressed and has suicidal thoughts too. Now I feel like she'd understand, which has made killing myself seem much more plausible and tempting.

I just cannot see a future or a point to anything, and feel like I'm wasting time now.",4.625956873315361,5.320960679245283,5.121374663072778,85.31594339622643,69.56603773584905,8.698652291105121,32.123989218328845,8.841846274778883,2.4841498652291105,416,18,86,7,7,133,66,106,0.301,0.617,0.081,-0.9806,1,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,1,0,5,0,11,1,0,1,0,21,28,8,3,4,4,3,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,9,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,8,5,18,3,6,16,2,8,0,4,1,0,12,1,0,3,10,56,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705977373991168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457894111563506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3911692686372884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061840969641574,0.32445359236073434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748774157859514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692940622459103,0.22188072803696185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652572434759256,0.0,0.0,0.14324642972444193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111287166753111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311003717137255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947680593624346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063616725016585,0.1378174142631724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311865153344412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382449350404313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24036939014030964,0.08827521742140268,0.0,0.0,0.2893143196550199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151992699219266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929221796975903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tertiaritus,2019/01/03,"I'm scared of being called fake After venting about my feelings on r/depression I clutched my invisible balls and applied for an appointment with psychiatrist.

I haven't received a response yet, but I'm very much scared that he'll bring up that I'm a worthless weakling from the capital while there are so many people from the war zone that have more reasons to be depressed and seek help.

I don't know if I'll make it till Tuesday. I'm also scared of being judged by my parents for wasting money on the appointment.

I don't know what to do. Do I even have the right to get help? ",7.03923076923077,6.050538179487183,7.042350427350428,79.30403846153848,64.64102564102564,9.851282051282054,35.739316239316246,8.841846274778883,2.8847162393162398,465,19,93,6,6,149,76,117,0.249,0.696,0.055,-0.977,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,3,7,0,11,0,0,2,0,10,22,8,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,1,1,2,3,7,0,0,0,1,8,0,17,18,2,11,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,1,5,60,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380059756330104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20915193157603293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528355093157024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13528673093420274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356701413406223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701399308436713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745833121930233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251358392766191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672404677132205,0.2076630879522351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057189039322846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22743686541317454,0.0,0.0,0.14200170218275138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21059693801757115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492169379175532,0.0,0.0,0.615204629843381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16900426239291014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrDouchebaggins,2019/01/03,"I can’t forgive people I’m seeing a therapist already, just before anybody recommends that. 

I don’t trust people at all, so that means I don’t really forgive them. My family was pretty toxic, like they’d make fun of me and then tell me I was overreacting when I got upset. This was always the case, from the time I was small. It only got worse when I got older, of course, because “that’s how the world is, nobody else is going to care about your hurt feelings”. That’s basically what they’d say. Just put the children down for being “too sensitive”. In high school I just reinforced those ideas in myself with how I treated others and how they treated me. I had a lot of toxic friends and I was toxic too. 

Now I’m 24 and I don’t trust people and you can’t forgive without trust and vice verse. It takes me forever to tell somebody I’m upset. I forgive, but not really? How do you forgive without forgetting the past and keeping a score?? Like I thought that was just normal. Guess it’s not. 

I think part of it is that I forgive when I don’t want to because I’ve learned from my family that fighting back doesn’t work and I’ll lose anyways so just forgive now and more on, but never trust them again. But that’s not forgiveness. 

How do you forgive? What’s your experience with building trust and forgiveness? I watch ted talks, I journal, I do meditative stuff sometimes. I read books about mental health. I haven’t found the right words or phrasing that makes sense to me. I’m scared my inability to properly forgive is going to destroy all my relationships one day. 

",2.9457142857142853,5.0462005161290335,4.143986175115206,85.0716935483871,76.09677419354837,6.880184331797236,25.91013824884793,7.83500028581142,1.5550783410138247,1240,46,240,19,28,405,154,310,0.099,0.727,0.174,0.951,0,0,0,0,2,0,35.0,0,5,5,2,24,30,2,3,9,0,25,1,0,7,3,61,47,25,0,2,14,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,19,12,0,1,18,2,0,3,14,7,0,1,12,4,42,23,24,32,5,25,0,2,2,0,29,9,0,3,15,164,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339717553468155,0.0,0.10101741798358027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335177973693763,0.0,0.14801286505123468,0.0,0.10330541682119172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377893553901607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829519896551726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141702656816684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875589564214255,0.22889678626281626,0.0,0.061385245549042323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331126458456902,0.0937960248878386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799278702292173,0.0,0.2912923520322995,0.0,0.13373961665385178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904621857221946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826943857004205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299649326558565,0.13704974783015772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790898817906833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186232127071672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581943653919468,0.0,0.10321289439904673,0.0,0.0,0.16207552672421835,0.0,0.0,0.1322439766957665,0.0,0.0,0.12234615003778655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936338454618366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894963069590796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226613770926873,0.0923328146251706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146813450483766,0.11589335553038957,0.25249765371009075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123510981067564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204402587559213,0.0,0.0,0.12143633013214933,0.0,0.15554835168215486,0.0,0.0,0.1303418999148276,0.0,0.10367790570231177,0.0,0.0965449173927101,0.1215460591115733,0.12286679976902118,0.09674285271078134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007114266317112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897793521085305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128030557457713,0.09757951583099128,0.21222397929404127,0.0,0.0,0.1409587935363357,0.0,0.07779044576518351,0.0,0.09638079954207243,0.07079134352222399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160691597034723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340572383509304,0.0,0.08838317689303786,0.0,0.12372051447230102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wadeweys,2019/01/03,"Why Do I Stutter? - Get The Answer That You're Looking For!  Too many people spend their days wondering ""Why Do I Stutter"". Science has not yet developed a concrete cause for stuttering. Various research findings point to genetic disorders, brain dysfunctions, environmental factors and parental behavior.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4MbIA-r29g",10.624965986394557,15.495378877551026,7.823571428571428,53.51726190476194,66.34693877551021,11.429931972789117,46.9421768707483,10.504223727775694,7.533323809523809,291,19,29,10,6,84,44,49,0.105,0.895,0.0,-0.6062,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,1,0,6,6,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,6,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,2,17,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992890551450467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754132777409223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729027765424591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072666372812343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24503918906702474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007155391479054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22513707092064808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718120367425351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29769410745019903,0.0,0.0,0.1858672731481219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25344182584195657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838383751878853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907437802394881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chriserie,2019/01/03,"Advice to not get anxiety over eating out after 7 years with eD I have had a fear of not being able to count calories in my food for 7 years. Every time I go out to a place that doesn’t put the calories on their menu, this fear engulfs me. It’s lessened over the years, but it’s still there. 5 years ago I’d be having a full blown panic attack right now, but today I just feel depressed. I know realistically that just because a dish doesn’t have a label on it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have comparable calories to another place of the same caliber. But I can’t get it through my head. Please help. I can’t post in the ED Reddit cause years ago I told someone off for promoting bulimia ",3.50601398601399,4.333788587412588,4.75762937062937,86.42259790209793,72.21678321678324,7.398321678321679,25.48881118881119,7.554174236665415,1.1035823776223777,540,16,117,6,10,179,86,143,0.125,0.7959999999999999,0.08,-0.8042,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,5,5,1,3,9,0,13,4,1,1,0,15,20,3,0,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,3,0,3,0,0,2,8,5,0,0,2,1,11,0,20,16,2,28,0,1,0,0,3,13,0,0,12,73,19,1,0.14637818900759836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303907218072956,0.2595108652013978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349029412388154,0.11197891393609066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652632183762528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923078538580184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037072183869676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607531970218294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978143070972025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332993747842598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294323163849973,0.07401321053471024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770010871799425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529531244390356,0.0,0.08319009809970758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022625203034698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811421457199432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044562455821917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594487600658263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174326585771546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058681050070921,0.16067929498516742,0.0,0.0,0.14018984240057414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715050987972708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500617361565236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402576453096055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168978108258831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535429915254453,0.0,0.13874940762680849,0.1398706324962404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713137726172543
mentalhealth,awfercryeye,2019/01/03,"Hey, am I really NOT ok or what? Howdy Reddit. I came here just to ask this one thing.

So I USED to think I was fine. In fact, more than fine: I thought I was one of the (seemingly few) mentally healthy people out there. I love life, enjoy my friends, have a happy marriage, no real troubles. The issues in my life are so small compared to those I see all around me, I am in a constant state of gratitude for what I have. And so I thought I was fine.

But... a good friend of mine (now lives about 2000 miles away) is stuck at home sick, and she recently posted about how lonely she is... how loneliness is a form of torture, with solitary confinement used to break prisoners' spirits... and so after I cheered her up I got to thinking: huh. There must be something the matter with me, because I have ZERO problem with being alone. ZE. ROH. Nix. 

In fact I have never, ever, that I can think about, been lonely, bored or homesick. Wherever I am, that's where I like being; whatever is happening, I take an interest in it. I used to think this was because I'm creative (I actually am an advertising writer) and could easily amuse myself with imagination. I thought it was a GOOD thing. 

I can be alone for as long as you want to leave me that way. Those scenes in the movies where the prisoner is alone and going bonkers never resonated with me. I mean, if there were nothing else to do, I would just make up a whole bunch of songs and poems. It's ok if there's nobody around to hear or read them-- making them up is the fun. And so I went, blissfully along in life thinking I was fine. Until....

I read a person on Quora asking about ""Schizoid"" mental illness and how its hallmark is *not feeling loneliness*. 

**So question: IS THAT ME?** 

Reading more about this disorder, the rest of it doesn't sound like me at ALL. I don't have anhedonia, I don't dislike social interaction, I have never been hindered or held back in life... \*that I know of\*. 

But I also read that lots of people with this disorder have no problem with it. Apparently the problem is the way other people around them feel? Or something? Anyhow now I am curious to know: have I been suffering from a mental illness all along? 

Oh well, if I have it then I have it. Life's been good so far and a new label won't change anything. It's just... well, it sort of makes me disappointed in the world. It almost seems like today there is no way to avoid having some kind of diagnosis. Even what I thought was happiness may turn out to be a pathology. Is life really *supposed* to be shit, and if it isn't, then you're crazy?",1.945352786784003,4.192646992125987,3.3699027327466418,88.6433078585765,80.06299212598425,6.503998764860276,23.149760691678253,7.6542693500971675,1.1000888065462409,1984,67,407,32,51,649,239,508,0.147,0.6990000000000001,0.154,0.5345,1,8,2,0,0,0,107.0,0,1,3,0,37,38,2,1,22,3,58,12,1,9,10,95,96,37,0,11,16,0,2,3,2,4,10,3,2,1,30,25,0,3,18,6,0,3,13,13,2,3,21,6,57,25,66,64,12,52,1,5,1,1,19,27,1,18,19,308,87,4,0.0,0.0,0.06996988949558706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179825227729332,0.2227820161892665,0.0,0.05733931008720825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900386131478344,0.19148742907890628,0.13406162038566194,0.0,0.0673655041391582,0.05513368767278972,0.0,0.08741659876528934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200690884274738,0.0,0.0,0.07585021202325687,0.0,0.0,0.07748337130817233,0.0,0.05724746035444221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435124845325516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05989703338564066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04735787250545991,0.06485771182165878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250841848662172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107921189223799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040749363548605096,0.18041833656543432,0.05734588600837873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340500869293154,0.15265421879253946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081230331260125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192200720739529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483727591416851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466561813306008,0.0788100525398705,0.0,0.0,0.07592106748666985,0.0,0.0,0.30386746582594343,0.10508854536951118,0.0,0.06331334773833472,0.06345317992912383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060957675361276886,0.06471300413905384,0.0,0.1435830387218669,0.0,0.0,0.0781034719241364,0.0,0.0,0.21677340624334865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590082821696314,0.06924932850465892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879909883062514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717298492413982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912545660075954,0.0626065981080395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866979345253027,0.0,0.0,0.20582468687490285,0.0,0.0,0.08032159439120808,0.0,0.2868818448454933,0.08161150123446413,0.09186706738562404,0.0,0.07079614458315542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713645996853375,0.13054790039350753,0.0,0.0,0.07360010554892857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309019898847326,0.0,0.11039795471603804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391027222413226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526999371533276,0.2297157136602338,0.0,0.2276905235049863,0.0,0.0,0.06796421909205916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799016150377626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18578007822568854,0.0,0.0,0.04229114165199668,0.1707388870230709,0.0,0.0,0.12893572398226055,0.06646759900323856,0.0,0.08005167053823405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050934374318943286,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rayraybakery231,2019/01/03,"I haven’t taken my med consistently for over a month So I’ve been on mood stabilizers and antidepressants for 6 years. (I’m 20F). 2018 was one of the worst years for my mental health, being hospitalized 3 times. At the end of the third time, my doc told me that she wanted to take me off all of my meds and start new ones. As I was going off some of them and adding new ones, I just got really tired of taking them everyday so I just stopped. I went on a vacation to Hawaii and I absolutely fell in love. I came back home and I’ve been the most motivated I have been since 2016. I’ve been working everyday, haven’t had too many negative thoughts. I haven’t had a single actual thought about killing myself or self harm. I’m tired, but not the same tired as I used to be. I used to be in a fog almost all day, with like no energy. Now I’m tired because I’m working and spending time with friends and family. 

I’m finding things that I actually enjoy. I signed up for singing lessons. Not as a career but for pure enjoyment to make me happy. I’ve got a goal to go back to Hawaii in the summer which where I want to be. I’m not stressed about going to school because I’ve realized that it’s just not what I need right now. 

I’m being more organized, actually putting things into my calendar, making my bed every morning, and doing laundry. Also I’ve been eating healthier. 


The only negatives I’ve noticed was that I’m a little bit more irritable and I have a harder time falling asleep. But even with being irritated sometimes, I know that it’s unnecessary to feel that way and end up rationalizing with myself on why I should just let it go.  

I’ve always been adamant about people medicating their illness and continuing to take their meds, so I don’t really know what motivated me to stop except for the fact of just being lazy I guess. But ever since I’ve been motivated and enjoying life, which is something I’m really excited about. 

What are your thoughts?",3.274976145038168,4.9653441908397,4.872969942748092,82.00006560114507,74.01272264631044,8.373059796437659,25.512802162849873,9.017664075816787,1.947610750636132,1549,52,315,34,32,522,193,393,0.115,0.7609999999999999,0.124,0.8174,0,0,1,0,0,1,38.0,0,1,4,7,21,13,1,1,16,0,30,11,1,7,5,66,68,24,1,4,15,0,1,1,1,1,8,0,2,1,16,18,1,2,12,1,1,9,11,4,0,4,21,1,38,8,49,38,10,50,0,0,0,1,10,16,0,5,25,203,54,8,0.0,0.0,0.24837635332622454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495553446579393,0.0,0.0,0.06784694027850653,0.07059411644583566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304742596023698,0.0,0.10343599786530884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926238840124373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703496324278336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471512243383615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681304148656914,0.0,0.0,0.15028705313638746,0.0,0.0,0.056036369162939546,0.07674311556717438,0.07148180470782317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998009999691988,0.0,0.042897920565042366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754270636364125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554758214236726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192867310810992,0.0,0.1357094425207078,0.0,0.09346140754674648,0.0,0.0,0.09031432057629557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018151485779193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510196792198703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386347501513764,0.0,0.09325227178154373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675518888258217,0.05992537456740115,0.04144879694108816,0.08503249832588279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657188969290755,0.0,0.11326342362511554,0.08601498001801063,0.0,0.0,0.2827161049109712,0.08546790715164017,0.08549929838704708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771890071139386,0.0,0.0,0.06290817714036799,0.0,0.16387902289847828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659150442806227,0.0,0.0,0.1724704141401013,0.06452504525982375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058817740293750614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528816461712117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305304576374186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245334808695099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586314462750676,0.0,0.0,0.088507174634366,0.0,0.0,0.1403619243841422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531438405080557,0.08390945241073393,0.0,0.060050562999978636,0.0,0.0,0.14186096207125087,0.09718453916462813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136855750927725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127285550542379,0.0,0.0,0.20206170941099694,0.19788477859441375,0.3900468295212964,0.0,0.08106876108815787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654995386985545,0.0,0.0,0.10008228412964433,0.06734246280869971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864802023550145,0.07655538119739952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352983091399483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926903796161376
mentalhealth,Anonymous3910,2019/01/03,"Masturbation or chronic fatigue causing tiredness Hi, I’m a 16 year old boy still going through puberty and I’ve noticed that in the past few months I’ve gotten more and more tired throughout the day. It’s a kind of tired where I’ll get a solid 8 or 9 hours of sleep at night and wake up and just want to go back to bed knowing that it wont solve anything because sleep doesn’t seem to help. I’ve recently given up masturbation and I used to do it more than a normal teenager should (3-5 times a day). I thought that giving it up for the nofap challenge would help, but I’m only 4 days in and all I can think about is masturbating. I looked up the symptoms of chronic fatigue and I seem to have some of them. I think giving up masturbation is good because I’m pretty sure I’m addicted but I need to know if the problem is masturbation or chronic fatigue as the tiredness has had a negative effect on my life such as me not hanging out with friends as much, being more antisocial and always in a depressed/bad mood.",6.2984396853146825,5.4471752163461575,6.988391608391608,78.63842657342659,66.06730769230771,9.486713286713286,35.25524475524475,8.575989854853784,2.758715384615385,807,34,164,10,11,268,126,208,0.101,0.767,0.132,0.6702,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,2,6,10,0,0,13,0,13,14,3,3,2,37,35,17,0,7,8,0,0,0,1,3,11,0,1,1,7,10,0,0,8,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,4,1,10,5,29,27,8,28,0,3,1,0,8,12,0,7,13,101,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495197183561752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412434684491915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128672738221508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546409819166493,0.11451909700092296,0.16721741542991111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089645940849188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26536181446901674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596598379414422,0.0,0.07165807753468109,0.26314406875214114,0.15589724032404756,0.11503950951633625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18386485456481436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507052015556878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282632660199776,0.1507541300136402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687697185344142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517605989990574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947619577721412,0.0,0.100825059278324,0.10169905069719844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871112702556786,0.13438324975620916,0.0,0.15615242329831575,0.1439216044626099,0.0,0.0,0.10431292317492596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093042534230634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953643167559548,0.0,0.13123927132459048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542449016328265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24972239599731294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745090645481151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095325436798698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12926741694507698,0.14255705985080458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576738726720778,0.0,0.1088861308840618,0.07997646349524894,0.3152800962683864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845829799699185,0.0,0.0,0.08089785581357077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974313179699602,0.0,0.0,0.0883236324468331
mentalhealth,dplattal8r,2019/01/03,"Can’t pinpoint it So I’ve come to the conclusion that I have something wrong with my chemical balance or something is wrong with my brain. I have sudden mood changes and thought patterns throughout the day and I have no control over when or why they happen. Like yesterday was my first day back at work so I was happy, but as I was going home I got really sad, and when I got home and my mom opened the door for me, blistering rage came over me, my hands were shaking I was so mad, but I had no reason to be, and after that I sat in my room with depression about everything. And this is a daily occurrence.I feel like I can’t control my emotions and thoughts, every day I could be sitting with my friends hanging out but have to hold tears back because for some reason I am depressed in that moment. I don’t have the best life at home so living here has been hard but it can happen anywhere.",2.8968692449355444,4.584422812154699,3.7193149171270754,89.88899079189692,75.02209944751381,6.594622467771639,26.43130755064457,7.3011,1.2232096500920808,703,26,146,8,15,224,104,181,0.191,0.721,0.087,-0.9627,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,6,10,14,2,1,5,0,23,3,2,4,0,32,34,20,0,1,6,1,3,2,1,0,1,0,5,0,6,15,0,3,6,0,0,5,5,8,0,1,13,3,25,5,19,18,2,27,0,3,0,0,3,9,0,3,14,105,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568180151211773,0.0,0.07756527021180952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353216058253636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420436554017962,0.0,0.14553044006440252,0.0,0.0,0.13460469234232142,0.10960733190215263,0.0,0.0,0.2854244444169889,0.10159202700746864,0.0,0.0,0.246180827400871,0.0,0.2191859277593249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431296218330928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072064969994293,0.0,0.11435650401505025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433715280602939,0.09090139149245816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082316007009955,0.0,0.0,0.09830650886597543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231430733408617,0.0,0.20353338869742055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250385716906742,0.13545100011735536,0.11398343945880328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829009594525051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987447246203431,0.1243275919811354,0.0,0.11235662322035292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902377001926045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151419760067184,0.26165101881144537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19591352922279887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20203116147027747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481571118938125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263336664030686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27823732883616337,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheDvlHimSlv,2019/01/03,"Pls help me Pls help me out , I’m dating a girl that suffered from BPD , at first I was so blank to this , but I’ve done extensive research , I’ve looked at videos , I’ve bought books , and I’ve come across some knowledge about it , at first it was butterflies and lovey dovey shit , honestly I’ll throw it out there , I suffer from manic depression, and a way I learned to cope when I got off my pills (w/o telling my doctor ) is that I made myself become heartless and careless , I always felt if I let anyone in I become really vulnerable , and after falling for this girl, like I was so closed w her , but eventually I opened up and for what?! Now that I have her issues are bringing me down ! I try to be there for her I try to talk to her but she is just so heartless , I leave her to chill when she goes thru an episode and she just says “yea give up like u always do “ and then when I do try to be there she just says I make things worst by trying to help, so what do I do , I feel like my mental state is deteriorating, and I hate being depressed , I can’t eat I can’t sleep I’m upset, I just hate everything rn , but I love her so deeply because she opened up that side of me , that emotional side , but I feel as if she opened me up just to kill me mentally , I probably don’t have much understanding to BPD and maybe I’m over reacting , but pls help me understand what I can do better or where I’m wrong , because at this point my mind is killing me , and I love her so much , pls don’t tell me anything about leaving her or this isn’t unhealthy for me or some bull crap like that , because I can’t just leave someone because of a mental issue when I myself suffer w my own , this girl really understands me and she’s been by my side since high school , 7 years back , I wanna help her and I wanna change her make her happy I’ve seen her happy and I don’t think she deserves to be going thru anything that she’s going thru , mental health issues are a bitch and I’m willing to ignore mine to see her happy . Damn, honestly if I don’t get any help out of this , it actually felt pretty good to write down how I feel .",2.636426710544356,3.6738043484162937,4.023229123817361,90.07408816673521,74.52036199095022,7.077032771150418,22.669957493486905,7.463857097105799,0.6546250377073908,1630,41,371,19,33,539,188,442,0.199,0.637,0.16399999999999998,-0.977,0,0,0,0,0,1,43.0,0,0,0,3,25,33,10,1,5,1,33,9,3,5,0,64,65,40,2,5,18,0,5,4,0,1,3,2,0,3,21,23,1,1,11,2,1,6,8,20,0,2,11,10,76,13,51,48,6,47,0,5,3,2,40,27,4,8,16,245,97,5,0.0,0.0,0.07382135943514108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589009157347994,0.0,0.0,0.05144311128708255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289471424529935,0.0,0.12450341955891055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816850368092279,0.0,0.18445683434892185,0.1670941464275834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690434883154248,0.0,0.0,0.1905515607908085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002536241469485,0.06516389812377797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031071205551256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742874865981036,0.0,0.0774139836394451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740660477634746,0.0,0.08509361494131353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798738230468493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147494314003194,0.05404281731638308,0.1452675396312906,0.0,0.0,0.12869199312595572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03952286340389315,0.072568281501845,0.08598479817420708,0.06344980185191985,0.06050247175848615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24158553134814054,0.0,0.14937312054261134,0.0,0.08041009460323288,0.0,0.0,0.30423083266048345,0.07992607458194083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23687000869517266,0.0,0.0,0.16738620808615248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403003542825318,0.0,0.07735502066438206,0.0,0.1478308138193852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352511593154968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655022104838851,0.07157979583300493,0.1009910137697656,0.0,0.07599840237606674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049408377161886,0.0,0.07638273285568445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121970286233313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151164089803984,0.0,0.0,0.07696102824293796,0.08156114399296832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969238604007542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031636458474808,0.0,0.07655963190811647,0.0602815179300047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776513995571545,0.06257665795600413,0.0,0.07570245138110741,0.0,0.06409615191711056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080285176986044,0.1322390569899432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050257049854900614,0.04847206816606902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20543961496043087,0.0,0.0,0.2362561436727453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004571794786572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270901515373796,0.0,0.048714715502134014
mentalhealth,ChooseUsernameNoTy,2019/01/03,"Fear of poisoning/being poisoned... This is horrific, I fear everything I eat is going to get me poisoned, everything I touch and smell.
I fear chemicals, bacterias and germs.
I fear that I might get poisoned by somebody (example, well now I bought 2 hamburgers from a highly rated pizza place in my town and now I fear I will get food poisoning...)
The worst is the placebo-effect and the fact that I do not trust people in general I don't knos.

I wash my hands more than 30 times a day also.
Is there a way to get rid of this phobia?

It seems to be OCD. I do not have any mental disorders diagnosed and I have been to many psychologists. I have a diagnosed personality disorder though.",3.5971086807928927,5.448369353383459,5.361544771018455,78.15821599453179,73.51127819548874,9.648393711551606,27.88038277511961,10.018931242160765,3.0144947368421056,536,21,102,16,11,183,81,133,0.284,0.701,0.015,-0.9893,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,6,12,4,5,7,0,14,11,1,0,1,11,21,7,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,5,5,3,0,1,0,1,1,3,10,1,0,2,3,18,2,11,16,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,4,70,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061561404558134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855597082897181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114139884070201,0.0,0.0,0.2554027171475755,0.0,0.0,0.28839380447954205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874195122845936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261519745533369,0.0,0.0,0.707894146292918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521381203606411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629362477506752,0.0,0.07150456169029143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293231017483687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275584425193633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679369728931406,0.1334716950990555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722549656825172,0.10985833806449312,0.13145173093412324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453884900669965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123614323630153,0.0,0.07336476201734593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986748435559953,0.0,0.0,0.11312437332395504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HansTheAxolotl,2019/01/03,"Parents trying to get me to do therapy again, just told me they think I’m suicidal, and told me they wouldn’t let me go to school out of state if I do not go to therapy. Idk if this is the right sub, but here’s the situation: I’m on a cruise right now. My parents and I are sitting around, and my dad all of the sudden says that I’m having a meeting with my doctor soon and we’re going to talk about therapy options. 

The background info: I’ve tried therapy twice before. I hate it. I think it’s a waste of time and there’s no point to it, I’ve been fine without it. Last time I quit therapy, my doctor prescribed me anti depressants and I have been feeling great with them. 

Just now, my parents started taking about therapy again. I’ve suffered through it twice just for their sake and the last thing I want is to go again, but now they were saying that they wouldn’t send me out of state if I didn’t go to therapy (I think that’s a bluff, they would never do something so drastic). I applied to 4 out of state schools and have been accepted to 2 so far but have only applied to one in-state school and haven’t heard from them. That school is nowhere near my top choice. 

They said I don’t have any choice in whether I go to therapy or not but I turn 18 in February and i don’t think it’s legal to send me without my consent once I turn 18. Correct me if I’m wrong. 

They also said that the main reason they want me to go is that they think I’m suicidal and that i would kill myself if i went out of state without therapy. I’m not suicidal and I’ve never mentioned anything about being suicidal. 

Is there anything I can do to get them off my back about going to therapy? If I did go I would only be doing it to please my parents, cause they don’t seem to understand that it really doesn’t help me at all and I’m fine with just antidepressants. Maybe some sort of compromise would be good. I don’t know.

Thanks for reading, it’s kind of a rant I guess. Any responses are appreciated.",2.266022005924672,3.7128669472422082,3.7946741430385096,89.70143144308085,76.17026378896881,7.208040626322472,24.734729863168287,7.928766900206844,1.1934525885174216,1555,52,346,24,34,516,166,417,0.145,0.7659999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9847,4,0,1,0,0,2,37.0,0,0,14,2,23,12,2,0,11,0,40,2,0,2,5,73,82,28,5,14,22,5,1,0,0,6,2,5,0,0,19,21,0,0,12,2,0,13,18,5,0,3,12,6,56,7,51,60,4,50,0,2,0,0,32,16,0,12,16,233,75,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554656373397928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774621462810515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937375467488993,0.05070165871391101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04379456285153724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04846415979030105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585080511086372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049054903497675655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659086911702905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028797951168475174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595128434078042,0.0,0.291317445753453,0.047770806523820236,0.0,0.06279263473372679,0.06274190019507546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056230864660174316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038175460026186936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301181349550235,0.0593094393682468,0.03130075227122632,0.09285118228130466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823992538902625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721853922411696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785377936371516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065477780620475,0.03859390306874053,0.08663306183891341,0.0,0.0,0.2529653210085361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251903487685917,0.05384049534959747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06057821539920075,0.056970001079991214,0.0,0.03648656770869091,0.0585588026068791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727781452888652,0.10835371199879977,0.09058514930655387,0.0,0.23056433632073603,0.0,0.05184931817776228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401934361980419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04384642466858639,0.0,0.0,0.04031275078452325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24919630224623124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042822762360379206,0.04577794072191633,0.0,0.052436132871171034,0.6513253543070097,0.0,0.037838097756073635,0.18247100247647552,0.0,0.0,0.06642135697820185,0.0,0.0,0.10884509982556287,0.0,0.07733685379748685,0.12390047442679415,0.0,0.059291735093695966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718658371388844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052797474012875434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470657224804586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183562185451889,0.06227090149006324,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hindstanner1,2019/01/03,"My Mental Illness Story Ep 9 The final episode of my series on mental illness and how It has effected my life. If you enjoyed the video, be sure to like and share. Also, be sure to subscribe to my channel to keep up to date on future videos.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FsBRnMF\_fc&t=21s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FsBRnMF_fc&t=21s) ",10.714066666666668,15.575037340000005,6.068000000000001,66.40066666666667,65.6,4.933333333333334,24.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,1.013133333333334,297,8,36,2,6,78,36,50,0.08900000000000001,0.696,0.215,0.7622,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,2,2,8,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,9,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,4,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20196404268193585,0.0,0.547275365083815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766560419991498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22447793163007354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838344451762522,0.1233831114588487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5090217444687766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4760505341443478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mannemm_jeff,2019/01/03,"Nothing I ever do is satisfying or good enough Literally nothing I ever do is good enough. Never do I ever do something and am happy with it. Not in academic pursuits, creative pursuits. No matter how much I study or practice, there's always some who's better with ease - usually everyone. No matter how much I try, I'm always eons behind. Not hobbies. Even when there's no one to compare myself to I'm not satisfied with anything. Not even things that are supposed to be enjoyable, like video games. There's always something to tear myself apart over. All these things I supposedly like yet become unbearable to endure.

​

What's the point of doing anything when literally everything is dissatisfying at best and frustrating to the point of wanting to commit suicide at worse? Everything I love drives me insane with sadness, despair, and hatred! What's wrong with me? How am I supposed to go on when everything is so unbearable? I just wish I could enjoy things like normal people can...",4.823617647058821,7.570178727777782,5.583856209150326,73.88794117647059,72.83333333333333,7.790849673202615,30.032679738562088,8.671277953709913,2.9209640522875824,801,35,122,16,17,260,102,180,0.173,0.595,0.232,0.8993,0,0,2,0,0,2,28.0,0,0,0,2,17,15,1,0,2,0,15,1,0,3,6,31,21,12,1,4,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,0,2,0,2,8,4,0,1,0,0,14,11,21,19,7,19,0,2,0,1,3,8,0,3,12,99,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29701600076059026,0.12892056486328266,0.14458021021954284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958295912262544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140995848604256,0.0,0.0,0.12486777224406015,0.10523286291538657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500011109563407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458873235041332,0.0,0.15717738818163868,0.32288715291392456,0.0,0.11369559021487365,0.3208090508462665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762211005039763,0.1995985139053803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666210566127895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743906790479565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738891375231634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749358292727904,0.0,0.0917688284853684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165803690309803,0.228339283235356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062754492629061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824894522630121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22495920922646787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320145379061475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301506485301383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371457160981641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078323463305427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104554055093784,0.0,0.07018063561991925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682726749858606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125622542500067,0.0,0.13009178933128665,0.14458021021954284,0.0
mentalhealth,AngryVegetables9,2019/01/03,"Sudden onset social anxiety after presentation freeze up? Serious help needed. Hi everyone,

My situation is kind of weird, but I have been having a hard, hard time coping with it. Over this past semester I was studying abroad in China. During a midpoint in the semester I had to give a very large presentation to around 100 students. 

Now, before I continue, let me preface this by saying that before this incident I have always been a very good public speaker. I spoke at my high school graduation to an audience of over 300 and have generally felt very comfortable speaking to audiences before this incident. 

Back to the story - I walked up to the podium, began to utter the words that marked the beginning of my presentation, and then had a sinking feeling that I'd never felt before in my life. It was so strong that it brought me to a kneeling position behind the podium followed by a complete loss of words. For the rest of the presentation I was frozen. I couldn't utter another word - I was completely and utterly stunned by the mistake I had just made. For four or five minutes, I struggled significantly to mumble the rest of my presentation with only my group members pulling me along to the finish line.

Ever since this incident has occurred, I've had this reoccurring sinking feeling that leaves me speechless in every. Single. Conversation. It doesn't matter if it's my best friend - I feel some sort of panic overcome me when I try to converse with people. As a very social and outgoing person, this has been extremely distressing and I don't know what to do. I can barely even muster up the courage to talk to my college counselors about things because I'm scared I will have a breakdown mid sentence. 

Any advice would be extremely helpful. Thank you.",6.282298136645963,7.942554931677018,6.800434782608697,71.24239130434783,66.45341614906832,9.575155279503106,33.565217391304344,9.867487886160001,3.631296894409939,1416,63,226,32,23,462,187,322,0.095,0.764,0.141,0.9671,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,3,9,16,0,4,22,0,28,1,0,1,2,34,44,12,0,5,4,0,8,0,1,2,1,4,0,1,19,10,0,0,6,0,0,4,4,8,0,2,17,12,31,8,45,22,5,36,0,1,0,0,17,13,0,4,19,169,50,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356938033407507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670481120624952,0.0,0.0,0.07903396212839668,0.1218673843809551,0.08890840574060885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346093329516616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936643219979465,0.0,0.07084697103029455,0.0,0.39558052580199937,0.0,0.12196630123984575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437100794711977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676257984960498,0.10512814489288473,0.09792082934072638,0.11105371991970472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629381249779036,0.0,0.2231799154144026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979171176350466,0.0,0.0,0.1114893455789056,0.0,0.09748028669249838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208221576775779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558003751146681,0.1227933963077909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102582254509735,0.06387177707725261,0.0,0.0,0.12306078581846852,0.0,0.11884339070225068,0.08209001437748238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997069834002472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617606820472437,0.08963645605527015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839096845575793,0.0,0.13635977906349125,0.0,0.0,0.11094566947302864,0.0805726986476208,0.10147930496300148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242324933411533,0.11635704944625384,0.11762140542050448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961388433023943,0.13063677220547407,0.0,0.23694443771431445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149895728345085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341367899115256,0.0,0.10700027144777048,0.0,0.0,0.0772117719076322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776913968902053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890612728419945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835765147779031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255974706838412,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MadDany94,2019/01/03,"Wanting to be depressed I have these weird thoughts of me wanting myself to be in my depressed state again.

Just recently I've taken meds (again) and I'm somewhat okay right now. But whenever I remember my depressed state before, I feel like I want to be in that again... 

Like, maybe I was so used to that mood that it made me feel like I ""Need"" it for some reason after losing it for so long now. It isn't healthy I know. But these thoughts come up from time to time. I don't have my dreaded, self loathing feelings I had before but I somehow feel... empty? without my depression? ",2.7913913043478265,4.685630791304347,3.362826086956524,91.43554347826091,75.8695652173913,5.9913043478260875,27.15217391304348,6.742157984588678,1.1064956521739129,451,18,93,4,10,141,67,115,0.139,0.742,0.118,-0.3484,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,9,12,0,1,0,1,9,0,0,3,0,25,25,6,0,4,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,9,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,6,4,17,4,14,16,2,17,0,5,0,0,1,4,0,3,13,64,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576402649558543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040745308865154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.521561433818742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061855111626855,0.21630339396142306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319894684411915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188175285635028,0.0,0.0,0.13397371461826402,0.0,0.16936457299562774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432470913489093,0.0,0.0,0.15208970577303452,0.0,0.16815806367746966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225236631710216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565219209838882,0.14947749633747928,0.0,0.1714932187847967,0.12928461990258458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793081663422154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403705003548541,0.17655125029131352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075072155442533,0.0,0.0,0.2678778911739601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593273702177972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Slechler,2019/01/03,"[Repost] UK Participants needed for online study on Unusual Experiences, Beliefs & Paranoia Hello, my name is Suzy Lechler. I am currently training as a Clinical Psychologist and as part of my doctoral degree, I am carrying out some important research that I hope you can help me with. Unusual experiences (e.g. hearing voices), unusual beliefs and paranoia are common. These experiences are often associated with past experiences and memories from childhood and adolescence. I am interested in your experiences and memories and would like to invite you to take part in my study. I am keen to hear from everyone; however these unusual experiences make you feel. It is hoped that this study will be valuable in providing information that could help improve approaches to psychological assessment and intervention that are intended to enhance the well-being of people who have psychotic type experiences and high levels of shame, in a non-pathologising way.

You must be aged over 18, living in the UK and have a degree of fluency in English to participate in this study. If you would like to participate, you will be asked to complete a number of questionnaires via a secure online survey,to which there are no right or wrong answers. These should take approximately 30-40 minutes.

In appreciation of your time, I am offering all participants the chance to be entered into a prize draw to \*\*win one of four £25 Amazon vouchers.\*\* Please click on the link below for further information about the purpose of this study and exactly what participation in the study will involve. You are in no way obliged to participate by clicking on this link. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me on ([u1622874@uel.ac.uk](mailto:u1622874@uel.ac.uk)).

Study link- [https://tinyurl.com/y86f284w](https://tinyurl.com/y86f284w)

Many thanks in advance, Suzy.",10.79406792174234,12.219799770764125,9.513726467331118,56.63802417866373,56.27574750830564,13.200516795865633,41.6391657438169,12.554650470220118,6.053879143595423,1525,75,207,49,18,474,169,301,0.045,0.7859999999999999,0.17,0.9879,2,0,0,0,0,0,74.0,0,10,0,3,3,14,0,1,12,0,28,2,0,2,3,43,40,15,0,10,3,0,2,2,0,7,2,3,0,0,15,14,0,1,11,0,1,3,2,2,0,2,0,7,21,13,49,28,4,34,2,0,2,0,24,23,0,8,8,148,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226190888135244,0.0,0.07045867752794856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686180990193853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863361419155128,0.0,0.0,0.0827245352736882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604971388237262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900425120266368,0.0,0.7094564967322486,0.0,0.0,0.10477714095260199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23355307622524174,0.0,0.13889583785644022,0.1094701578918266,0.0,0.20581716453327528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123769129618844,0.0,0.09148994969990387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916079815541104,0.10504476168859543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682585608448925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020914088796612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22440010032677826,0.09890792436576877,0.07183045919356162,0.0,0.0,0.2274663808960184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606744696297736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848278150783721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580436891374885,0.0,0.0,0.0953906070037788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041610253498327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16448234844167253,0.0,0.0,0.0931582622230803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472038207076101,0.11328179189727093,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cutie_patootie11,2019/01/03,Why cant I go to school? No matter how hard I try I can never make myself go to school. I'm a junior so I got a year and a half. Every time I walk in the doors I feel sick. And I dont know how to fix it. Can I fix it? How? Its ruining my relationships with my mom and girlfriend because they get upset that I wont go. Please help,-2.34896103896104,-0.6292442727272736,1.2052077922077906,100.13638311688317,95.62337662337664,4.118961038961039,12.894805194805196,5.6839178017228535,-1.2565210389610395,249,4,67,2,10,90,51,77,0.231,0.753,0.016,-0.9211,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,4,0,5,1,0,4,1,12,14,7,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,4,5,2,0,1,1,2,13,0,5,12,0,8,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,41,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992104306099154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690106910382081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19339125412846628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605866264130454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992139606535855,0.0,0.39134627969920666,0.0,0.18357832033920626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056162725560506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385097399588488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614520481033414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321490294821555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688260001549191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17702981856741756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519580485078496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464322893056777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645988245764056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338424010897953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583768046748986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20711761882010213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781157509370185
mentalhealth,PlateJockeyWill,2019/01/03,"Does anyone know what is happening? So this has been happening as far back as I remember, but to describe it, I will randomly receive panic/immense frustration from mundane tasks. The first example I can think of is when I used to be a nail biter. I couldn’t quite get a nail, and all of a sudden this feeling of intense frustration came about making me feel like I literally have to finish this job immediately, no ifs no buts. Another example is say I’m yawning, and I feel a yawn in the back of my throat, I’ll try to get it out and if I can’t force a yawn, I will feel panicked almost as if I’m trying to breathe but can’t. Other times this feeling pops up is if I’m picking my teeth and can’t get food scrap out, screwing something fiddly in or anything else that could be seen as mildly frustrating. This happens a lot, what is this phenomenon?",3.559861359570661,4.9012040290697705,5.0746511627906985,82.24530411449018,72.66279069767442,8.315563506261181,29.509838998211087,8.841846274778883,2.3445101967799644,671,28,135,13,13,226,102,172,0.14400000000000002,0.8059999999999999,0.05,-0.9577,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,4,0,8,0,18,8,3,3,1,32,38,18,0,6,8,0,5,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,12,7,1,0,8,0,0,2,6,4,0,1,3,7,12,1,20,29,2,15,0,0,1,1,2,6,1,8,8,91,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101726271348954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861207715720594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243460316713416,0.0,0.13232411565869587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472894587485836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391155169705806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838514965477088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071654332434338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343271744716895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065247655092416,0.11487504575263766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367757949386243,0.1944391411772681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520329786963817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265828464444227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956848476463928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837108517117394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855841138764716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367058071294371,0.0,0.0,0.10733477549374663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18866332206425868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17102983935250807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821542509655128,0.0,0.0,0.12787405036223035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379115029772104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303369300131104,0.0,0.0,0.09376335980431784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183443271454823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388789592772988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SomeWeirdThingyThing,2019/01/03,"I think my family is in denial... For years, I've talked about how my anxiety and depression cause me to lock up, go mute, lose focus, struggle to do basic, easy things, and more. I've had panic attacks, a couple of which happened right in front of them. At one point, my mental health and the situation with my family got so bad that the only thing I could think to do was run away. So that's what I did. My SO at the time came and got me in the middle of the night and I went to live with her, two states away.  


These are all clear signs that, even if I'm wrong about my mental issues (which is possible, since I'm not yet professionally-diagnosed and simply going by my own research and the observations of people who HAVE been professionally-diagnosed) that SOMETHING is wrong. I don't BENEFIT from making any of it up. In fact, it's hurt me, and put my life so far off track that I'm not sure I'll ever recover...  


So it just baffles me how my family seems to think that just telling me that ""I can do it"", or, ""It's not that hard""/""Not that big a deal"", will make any of my problems go away. They act like I can just 'man up' and do things when I essentially have brain damage inhibiting me most of the time. I can't IMAGINE, as practiced as I am at 'playing normal' that my issues are well and truly unnoticeable, especially since my mother is the most intelligent and perceptive individual I know.  


So... I feel like they just... don't want to accept that maybe I have problems that they can't fix. Or maybe they're afraid that admitting I have serious problems might cause them to wonder whether they're responsible for them in some capacity.  


I don't know what to do about it. I desperately wish I could see a doctor to get diagnosed properly, maybe even have them explain it to my family, but we're in a tight situation (homeless after Hurricane Michael and still looking for a place), and there's no way I'll be able to see a psych soon without some kind of emergency, and even then I can't bear putting that kind of financial strain on us... Does... anyone have any suggestions?",7.47269975786925,5.958352607748183,7.834928571428572,75.6699231234867,64.08474576271186,11.552978208232446,32.99866828087167,10.577609850970193,3.0961061501210647,1629,51,338,34,20,538,206,413,0.117,0.8390000000000001,0.045,-0.9666,0,0,1,0,0,0,67.0,1,0,7,1,25,25,1,4,14,0,35,5,1,6,5,69,64,31,0,9,13,1,2,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,30,17,0,1,13,1,0,10,11,16,1,2,8,5,46,9,51,51,7,46,0,4,3,0,18,23,0,10,13,231,76,3,0.07941250220824232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620096740170194,0.0,0.060750346827728376,0.0,0.0,0.05552706797664825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034318562292384,0.22383197977308672,0.0,0.06630612228144911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886506157557105,0.0,0.09082674679425112,0.0,0.16315702989672365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268088423183311,0.087868423243488,0.0,0.0,0.08187080278542734,0.06839787178767973,0.2418060543639802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128206100597625,0.0694944158338416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735362625419494,0.0718331546989079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994521582009003,0.0,0.04015334719520052,0.05673230744493653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04148975477364995,0.0,0.13539586520032698,0.0,0.12702686497213686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022421343893265,0.0,0.07113800377351373,0.0,0.0,0.08441177635134345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501272606236036,0.0,0.0,0.16577204057920866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539180144960322,0.08728606879459888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609139881638273,0.07759387459704177,0.0,0.07012269435436322,0.0,0.06668650130516755,0.08884227703964719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601692374437477,0.0,0.2393415967018412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160058248412105,0.08424411538928213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452325377200318,0.07780739129336574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381196670801588,0.060396786393768914,0.0,0.09317346096192383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505463006467227,0.0,0.08296916271810734,0.0,0.07507048297590524,0.0895256642920796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279611191618051,0.0,0.15966299719914176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781784298329863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656296537729667,0.07229415948538627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313816849056254,0.1785259594709531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06113562394373541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634189268448133,0.0,0.0,0.08301918961083879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484534352290834,0.0,0.0,0.06382876118286515,0.06941002717772488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827441343140616,0.15265297463622646,0.0,0.0,0.09261213731210416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757447556957386,0.0,0.0955234623530136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04683955130940677,0.0630339479051839,0.0,0.0,0.07140137654332479,0.0736161851468552,0.0,0.0,0.09132045841298866,0.07655081828699578,0.08611947113429272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365020956253194,0.0,0.05113904778095029
mentalhealth,yohelpmehelpher,2019/01/03,"What can I do for my friend? My friend is a 24 yr old female with sever psychosis. Pretty sure she's schizophrenic. She's been institutionalized twice in the last 4 months. She's on antipsychotics, anti depressants and anxiety. She's attempted to kill herself multiple times and is constantly self harming. She's been working with two therapists to pin point her diagnosis. However, her doctor didn't refill her meds, assumingly because it was the doctor's last day. I've told her to go to the emergency room, crisis unit, anything where they will refill them but she refuses to do so much as to make a phone call. Shes been without meds for two days and I can already see the difference in her. I'm afraid to let her go home alone. We work together and I'm just not in a position to stay with her and watch her and she lives alone. I've had to get the cops to do a wellness check once, and she was put in the crisis unit shortly after. She needs her meds but she no longer has an Rx and I just dont know what else to do. I feel like she's giving up.
If it helps at all we live in Kentucky. And she does have medical insurance. ",2.1580023923445,4.322121793859651,3.667607655502394,87.22643540669857,78.86842105263158,7.4787878787878785,23.52153110047847,8.438071523408619,1.509247368421052,891,30,186,19,22,294,134,228,0.118,0.79,0.092,-0.6369,1,2,0,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,2,3,5,9,1,1,11,0,21,5,0,1,2,29,33,14,1,2,7,0,1,1,2,1,5,0,2,1,4,14,0,1,3,0,1,3,5,4,1,3,8,3,33,5,27,23,2,25,0,1,2,0,36,12,0,2,10,119,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470058210521584,0.13159094460656687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122287634186647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812931127881552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269126494459734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176351549732935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886258106851484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380763151695787,0.0,0.10270641940247267,0.0,0.0,0.12458670717197486,0.0,0.2441067018427581,0.10435299274978364,0.0,0.13975544340863508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961474559131082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029436895705004,0.08518937811686754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425835331305332,0.0,0.062301121998591225,0.11439164497957935,0.13554051856849614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799280913582404,0.0,0.11961347741971268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192804964922822,0.0,0.06553449219472615,0.19440283823718005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193713118317462,0.0,0.05825758038324039,0.0,0.2105928347696898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795976420702833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973663272035883,0.12012781645148725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518103281178444,0.0,0.0876595428557782,0.0884194103806454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512863512865596,0.12699311595675716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272602944728355,0.0,0.0,0.12131606864364995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987518269789695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950236364313509,0.0,0.124399601949453,0.13471405677840406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710038755500125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238795946821574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384538162094728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953331125610912,0.0,0.0,0.1139446790790034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329720622743313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721648983373087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494890474067156,0.0,0.1736250406598946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sleepyangell,2019/01/03,Feeling awful I’m numb and I have suicidal thoughts everyday. I can’t get therapy my parents won’t take me yes I’m 18 but they shelter the shit out of me and tell me therapists are there to get information out of me and that they just diagnose me with anything. My mom makes me promise I won’t talk about my abusive father because I once did at my therapist when I was younger and child protective services came and they did nothing but my dad was pissed. I hate school and I don’t see a future for myself I don’t want to be a nurse anymore it’s such hard work and I’m exhausted all the time I can’t. I just want to die I really can’t see myself living any longer. I have no friends and I push everyone away from me. I’m terrified of entering relationships too. I also never feel skinny enough I starve myself cause I hate myself and it’s just getting bad. I need help. ,0.11835164835164845,2.4913657362637385,2.4206285714285727,90.67437142857143,92.1868131868132,5.9889230769230775,22.115164835164837,7.404127859558343,1.1316116043956046,692,27,146,14,25,234,107,182,0.269,0.623,0.108,-0.9899,1,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,3,1,10,9,4,0,4,2,15,6,3,2,2,29,35,13,2,3,5,4,3,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,3,13,1,1,4,0,0,3,9,7,0,0,6,5,36,2,14,26,2,12,0,0,2,0,14,4,2,0,5,95,39,3,0.0,0.1714264996716321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570348508574675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838986250737884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348733098876099,0.0,0.0,0.1190623392094062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13593507824918447,0.0,0.12080482775338247,0.08819782725065238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547958354894454,0.0,0.1486299923388946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685088768109286,0.15015881523751293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949691583902544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825145468579292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631282978811985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178225077924027,0.0,0.2267737505905912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960815678680015,0.28569035629413897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697841961425918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775833847023152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657747860385643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694517751115697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728111401418536,0.11158897199913984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388278912556694,0.0,0.0,0.15408339518802935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606541023460715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268806901371428,0.0,0.0,0.1553361239001825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464276065072795,0.23058831833752486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851571638615899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826046070551175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878411980832282,0.11629125991831855,0.12645991183092598,0.0,0.16545839518911554,0.3359778034828171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486267906980906,0.0843662162022668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067636390981364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533144081465748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PopPunkJess,2019/01/03,"assessment day I’m feeling nervous. CMHT came my house back in December. Was supposed to have this the 31st moved it to today. Went to go find it yesterday and it looks like an old G4S building or prison. it’s kinda made me very nervous. it’s nothing like i’ve ever been before. 

Is it likely they diagnose you during the assessment? or is it a time thing? ",1.1554303599374052,3.7196553098591565,2.9430046948356825,88.01369327073554,87.45070422535211,5.972456964006258,23.381846635367765,7.3871296695380915,1.3290926447574345,281,11,54,5,9,93,55,71,0.106,0.807,0.087,-0.3313,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,2,5,0,2,4,0,5,1,0,1,1,9,12,3,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,5,2,4,3,4,7,0,12,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,3,10,31,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249545662009656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20195404166090133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714472567857269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306101422638088,0.0,0.0,0.2408893578451104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146824969241052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000337270245515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169192858195572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488257400658507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738519616428379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478487088795938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19930107025556584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245714897012508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25224884203324205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277286988430968,0.0,0.24904246444290665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157674388737234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383915614382928,0.0,0.22496520223070415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19582568501962505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22001130964660773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sailorkatbat,2019/01/03,"Pre-First Appt of 2019 I posted a few weeks ago about being excited about this therapy center. 
/rant/ 
I was excited, planned it so my mom would accompany me and everything was fine. Then I get a call, turned out to be the therapist. She seemed nice but after greetings cut to the point of how I needed to change my appt due to the New Year. My mom is a secretary for a neuro so I understood and changed it to today (in lieu of Monday). But after I hung up, my mood soured completely and I keep thinking about whether or not today will hopefully get me answers and help but worried. I could sense the therapists' hurried tone with a hint of ""please let this new patient understand its the holidays,"" vibe--which I do, 100% as the daughter of someone who has been treated poorly by some not nice patients; that much I am extremely a pushover. Said only because with the semester starting I fear a negative reaction to meds. Which thankfully I haven't had thus far /rant/


Even though my re-kindled obsession for the Sims has distracted me...today even my dog/brother/child seems to notice my extra need for snuggles. ",5.24693522906793,6.6184361895734645,5.778464454976305,78.68813902053714,68.62085308056871,9.418135860979463,32.55007898894155,9.725611199111238,3.244245244865718,880,39,159,20,15,284,141,211,0.11,0.778,0.112,-0.3792,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,9,13,1,3,15,0,16,0,0,2,0,29,31,15,0,5,7,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,1,6,1,1,0,4,4,0,0,6,2,22,8,27,19,4,20,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,5,13,111,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193843192314333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769783121612697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894465260648438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26717220212613396,0.0,0.13240079499206578,0.0,0.0,0.10082325178165097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681175632591375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349113642875898,0.0,0.0,0.1420986242419063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741258196773017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195079823855355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464193836382544,0.0,0.0,0.12542322378765974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224229426516047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912850746815555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402671476468256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29579213110883523,0.0,0.0,0.09282936070804776,0.18726808451013494,0.0,0.2439214749547824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376911584828056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604062761010304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861607150203395,0.11937417088706767,0.0,0.1209400702178256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011994362612735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299187378697255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069955170384901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938070071295187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626044384205235,0.14441067758249398,0.2932385642818284,0.0,0.08091428019049303,0.12406816341415365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590922740276766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735494362723635,0.0,0.13146056089022454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012931412803574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824213076834948,0.0,0.08970475221965353,0.0,0.0,0.08131933067174282
mentalhealth,TEE9628,2019/01/03,"Impostor syndrome (? Hi, This is my first time posting on reddit and I'm the kind of person who doesn't like burdening loved ones, and need to get this out of my system, so how about total strangers on the internet who won't care and won't feel burdened by this.

Sorry if there's an odd structure to sentences or grammatical errors, since English is not my first language.

Also, this has been written on my phone.

I'm female (22) and have struggled with depression and some anxiety since I can remember , but have neve been taken quite seriously (told I was faking it, to get over it, the usual stuff). 

Now I have taken a huge step towards my dreams and I'm in another country, studying abroad for a year ( I'm now on the vacation period as my first semester here has concluded). 

The thing is, I'm feeling VERY out of place, I'm struggling, I feel I don't deserve to be here, that I don't belong to such a prestigious school (in this country, it's considered the top University). 

I'm also struggling with money matters, since I'm on a scholarship, but it has not been enough to cover all my expenses (everything in this country cost 3-10 times more than in my home country) and have almost ran out of money, I haven't told anyone because I don't want my family to worry. 

I'm in a really bad place now, at leat mentally, can barely sleep and when I do, I don't want to get up. 

I feel like a failure since I have not been able to secure a scholarship for the next semester and don't know what to do, I'm planning on starting to work, but legally, I can't until March, so my future terrifies me. 

I'm sorry if this is long, I just needed to get some of this fear into words. 



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mentalhealth,TheTenthElement,2019/01/03,"(Long post) What can I do about a mentally ill parent? (On mobile, please excuse formatting)

For context, I'll explain everything I can first. About two or so years ago, one of my parents started acting completely different.    Strangely it all started after an ""eye infection"", ""fibers coming out"" of their eyes, doctors not finding anything wrong, and self-diagnosing on Google. After all these years, it almost seems like it was mostly hallucinations? It was like they did a 180 mental switch.  

They didn't sleep as much as usual and would mostly just seem to be in a daze, not paying attention when people are talking to them and delayed or unrelated/incoherent responses.  They always leaned towards argumentative but now snap over any little thing, causing serious confrontations in the house. Even then, I wasn't too concerned, just thought it was stress related. 

About a year ago, they began talking about electromagnetic/radio waves and hearing voices (people cursing at them, a woman saying they were going to fight them, usually threatening voice) or sounds (beeping, buzzing, etc). They smashed and changed phones constantly because they were ""hacked"". Occasionally, they would unplug certain appliances, like a microwave. They said someone supposedly hacked our WiFi so we would have to change the password (and couldn't say what it was aloud) or were sitting in the driveway with some sort of laser device listening in on us. They wouldnt talk to us sometimes because they thought someone was definitely tapped into the house listening.

 Very often, they walk around wearing earphones blasting full volume, sometimes crumpled pieces of aluminum foil as earplugs. Their room is always trashed, they use those thick, car foil soundproof liners all over the wall, dozens of mirrors on the walls. At night, they occasionally spray the windows  with alcohol. One incident, they've hit themselves and mentioned a bleeding spot on their head (I never saw because they had a good up) and claimed something fell on them. 

Often, these episodes don't start until about a day or two after not sleeping and then they switch. It's hard to discuss it when they're not going through and episode because they just vehemently and througly deny it and get upset, but during an episode, it causes a huge argument and sometimes nearing psychical altercations. 

The police recommended we have them evaluated but never gave any bit of help or resources. I am over 18. How can one go about getting their parent evaluated? How can I convince them to get checked willingly? I'm at a lost and just want to do what's the most helpful. We are decently poor so we wouldn't even know where to start for treatment. For privacy reasons, I didn't include my state or city, but you can PM me and I can further discuss that if necessary. 
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mentalhealth,supershade,2019/01/03,"Does my Dad have an Undiagnosed Mental Illness? I'm worried my father may have some sort of mental illness. 

At first it just seemed like he was prone to getting upset about money. Growing up he and my mom would fight often about finance. He used to be a heavy drinker. It was a huge issue in our family. When he would get drunk he would often act rude to everyone, and that caused a lot of tension between him and the other members of my family.

After his 3rd DUI, he cut back on drinking. Honestly, he's been very good about it. Occasionally he has too much, but overall I'm very proud of him. His bouts of anger still exist though. 

He's usually triggered by money, and if he isn't he brings it into the argument almost immediately. He often claims my mother and I are leeches who only use him for money, and that we contribute nothing to the family. My mom has a full time job, and I work part-time as I attend college. He also claims that we do nothing around the house. My mom does all laundry, dishes, and cooking. In fact, I could easily argue HE does nothing, but that isn't the point (he contributes in other ways, like car-stuff and house maintenance). I'm barely home because of college.

He has a hard time accepting responsibility or acting like an adult. He flips out whenever bills arrive (even though they are paid monthly), and he constantly starts projects around the house without finishing them.

Sometimes he is fine. It's almost like he is a different person. He gets into these moods were he's so rude at the slightest provocation. He says how much he hates his job (he claims his coworkers are rude to him and he is irritated that they do their jobs inefficiently). He wants to go back into business for himself again.When he tried this before, he didn't have enough money or knowledge to run his own business. It was very hard on our family, and it made money tighter than ever. He can be so toxic and angry, and it is always something little that sends him over the edge.

Sometimes he skips work and sleeps all day. Literally he sleeps all day (18+ hours). This is becoming more frequent, and is one of my biggest concerns. 

I'm not sure if I should be trying to get him help. I'm worried about him, but I'm also worried about what will happen if he is fired or quits his job. My family relies on his income, even with mom working her own job. It's true money is important, but I honestly don't understand why he acts like we don't appreciate him for it.

I want to know if I should pursue trying to get him to see a professional. Does this sound like a mental illness, or is it just something personality-wise. Any ideas on what it could be? Any general advice? I'd appreciate it.",3.8778553322469698,5.613221317490499,5.042574687669745,81.21610899873258,72.5171102661597,7.747166395075141,26.212022451566177,8.418075326091056,1.8133345645482524,2127,72,403,36,42,702,252,526,0.131,0.7759999999999999,0.093,-0.9648,8,0,4,0,1,0,73.0,5,0,4,6,27,25,8,2,18,0,44,9,2,7,7,81,70,37,0,13,16,7,3,6,0,7,3,2,1,2,28,26,4,0,6,3,9,9,7,10,0,2,8,6,44,14,50,49,12,50,0,0,1,0,76,22,0,18,24,247,72,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335557353252165,0.0,0.0,0.12984487634721134,0.0,0.0,0.10369633510511732,0.05394754078347206,0.0,0.0,0.08817943682465977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543299343262373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970753648418787,0.0,0.039522540930158834,0.07160466853596656,0.055169428187331886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660294407218183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006311746711208,0.0,0.1035302277582773,0.0,0.0,0.08362584440692908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773830717227126,0.0,0.0,0.2269486123418697,0.0,0.0,0.06351317787250955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699142325115144,0.0,0.08564521982776953,0.05864656384059148,0.0,0.06195219255169161,0.0,0.0,0.3056012259718944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551482365362846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936688652074053,0.0,0.036846969831252664,0.0543801458927646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733297992917327,0.0,0.1161580469988474,0.06401069704301161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043457233335850984,0.0,0.06503434161893179,0.0,0.06384897347661568,0.22443110334750235,0.0,0.07319031715534206,0.0,0.06767042740614514,0.3216914420232637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03563137403204239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19004932218005915,0.06498125342889939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055120017330851034,0.0,0.061348020431293615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19601393652539548,0.0,0.0,0.3037337733276438,0.05175032059141696,0.0,0.09532171088443832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866315027967738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04393357014817861,0.049309598107663034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020950138598415,0.0,0.0,0.05661102973970885,0.0,0.0,0.06128960771449171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895952635192003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051559037762445616,0.0,0.0,0.05166474352940428,0.059022940831889525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976274883102654,0.0,0.0,0.09982561082216207,0.12824605884882934,0.0,0.04589022937906476,0.0,0.051776956719996166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742200501403521,0.0,0.0,0.061105797670806976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739923568063444,0.0,0.07561109693781158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205521421218885,0.0,0.0,0.06749505480973172,0.0,0.1119924720536162,0.07140609891649204,0.16048588547287596,0.07648219676960802,0.0514626493217635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850309851968675,0.0,0.0,0.062498194190907075,0.0,0.14160097739139407,0.1975279031181322,0.0,0.1381698159529717,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Loatchar,2019/01/03,"The biggest steps in my life so far I'm a 21 year old male and I've decided to dedicate whole 2019 to get better. 

I've been dealing with mental health problems since I was in High school. Depression, anxiety, self harm, solitude and hating myself in every way possible. Dealing with all this things alone was devastating.  My mom was diagnosed with  leukemia, she needed all the love and support from us so i stepped aside because i thought my problems weren't important enough. Now i have  really close friend, that means world to me, the love and support that she gives me is unbelievable. She convinced me to seek therapy, to do more things, go out and enjoy life. Even though bad days happen to me, with thoughts that i wish were long gone I know things will be better.

I wanted to know how you guys cope with bad days? What can calm you down and make feel at ease",4.4188322520852665,6.180781216867473,4.317710843373494,86.85013438368863,71.16867469879519,7.7582947173308625,27.22706209453197,8.384062270229773,1.7580876737720104,686,24,135,11,13,210,111,166,0.162,0.648,0.191,0.6991,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,2,0,2,6,17,1,0,4,0,12,6,0,2,2,29,33,10,0,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,3,8,13,0,0,7,0,0,4,1,7,0,0,9,1,21,10,19,22,5,22,0,1,0,2,16,11,0,0,6,81,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278915113370641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446442577085548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062068808980141,0.07527430483352379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21842197894852367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927309215700047,0.25461182614991634,0.10635602954982114,0.12533300228547728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759131109383665,0.0,0.08155958894750863,0.0,0.10404004928020777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243689268686009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954029309159846,0.0,0.06451495447722379,0.11845648251084767,0.07017843422999323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226793183144595,0.10919591976207353,0.0,0.0,0.12191424459112155,0.0,0.13125702811112172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046694037581238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572644103348058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744398857474562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927888012357377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228970913560848,0.0,0.08242609586990746,0.0,0.0,0.13450956997216112,0.0,0.0,0.12444217453617305,0.0,0.0,0.14462220864103734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156134035177242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957500507462655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920892489860887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363137808443763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910659682738855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497174399713686,0.0,0.0,0.1288200661447991,0.0,0.0,0.10214670425348626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802548874675947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412139739149754,0.0,0.2461105550790455,0.0,0.12132176571248955,0.1960639754474692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485352675336945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283367995173441,0.09801533660076836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786475190385775,0.14199975992856126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951922968925128
mentalhealth,didxogns1,2019/01/03,"I need help handling my relationship with my father  

Hi redditors,

Recently I got into a physical fight with my dad. To be honest, it was more like me, abusing him physically.

I think there was a long built up to this point, frequent fights; him yelling, hitting me (when I was young), and else.

I don't know if this is necessary, but let me tell you how the fight started.

So, I lost my wallet and had to buy a new one. Me and my dad were looking at different wallets via my laptop.

We were looking at couple of brands he suggested and he boasted about how he was helping out the company when it was at its infancy and how important he was.

So I said, ""you are fine with this one?"", and there he changed his tone saying that he dosent have enough money to offer such a wallet.

Before thinking that I am a spoiled kid beating my dad, because he refused to buy me a wallet, the problem is not that he refused it. Rather, it is the way he talks. Conversing with him is often convoluted and very stressful to me. In fact, the wallet that I was using was a 20$ wallet from amazon, and I was proud of how cheap and good the wallet was. I was suffice with that wallet. It was him at the beginning, who said 20$ wallet is too cheap. (I asked him for a price point, and he refused saying just show me some wallets so I showed him wallets from every price point imaginable)

Anyways back to the story, I was little bit annoyed at how the conversation was going. My dad, sensing my frustration said angrily, ""Why are you mad at me? I am buying you a wallet. You should be grateful"". Knowing how such a conversation goes (he said something like this all the time. How I only like my mother. How I don't like him despite the fact that he is buying me stuffs). I went to my room and locked the door. I started overwatch, trying to escape him. He banged the door and yelled something (I couldn't hear him because of the earphones) shortly he turned off the internet, shut down the power, and dressed up with a room key. He proceeded to try to kick me out of my house. He did the same thing to my grandmother, when they fought. My grandmother now lives with my uncle instead. This is another long story.

Something just snapped in my brain, and I became crazy. Maybe it was the fact that he always used to say, I am so scared that you may hit me (I never hit him in my life), while he was always the one who got angry and screamed, threw my stuff, and hit me (at least he dosen't hit me anymore, maybe due to my size.)

So there is that. I hit him. I choke him. At first he was screaming, ""kill me kill me!"", and later he apologized. Then I stopped. I locked my door after that incident. Since then, I never saw him again. I feel disgusted when I see him. Its not anger or hate, I just feel sick in my stomach when I see him, or even when I think about him. I don't go to the house as often, because of the fear that I may see him.

I got a news from my mom that his left leg's tendon got little weak because of it. Also, he is re-doing his eye surgery today. It's been a week since that incident and I am not sure if the fight caused it or not.

I haven't had a chance to talk about it, till now.

I dont know what to do, or who to talk to. It's a horrible thing to do as a son.

Maybe Reddit may help me. After all, you guys helped me with a lot of things in my life.",2.315910844629826,3.7890504291970832,3.6506087069864464,90.67630930656937,76.0948905109489,6.5862877997914495,23.76498957247132,7.240123139073775,0.7928420229405629,2564,79,564,29,56,840,277,685,0.16,0.769,0.071,-0.9973,4,0,3,0,8,2,112.0,1,7,1,5,42,30,13,3,39,0,54,9,5,11,8,90,98,51,2,7,15,8,2,4,0,4,4,12,5,2,40,30,0,4,9,2,9,4,12,21,0,4,36,21,108,9,67,48,9,70,0,1,7,0,97,30,0,13,39,393,148,1,0.0,0.08690290311700692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865469325901785,0.12205933617712805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690957592304874,0.0,0.0,0.07273942854412531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856851965578603,0.0,0.0,0.0563984731202305,0.0,0.1788439302295878,0.0,0.06241196247337144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080074731195055,0.0,0.0,0.08187828627059524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534644789020246,0.07759024154788559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115584817032356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663085923040742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596085371890587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127109159521733,0.0,0.0,0.07578592585356307,0.0,0.04844427812233329,0.0,0.06179708784990887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253453383856556,0.07417178613696096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238798882395422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336833546857933,0.06151906474780209,0.23464568013617876,0.0,0.0,0.07262397679440474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241389575721825,0.0,0.0,0.08266616489012805,0.0,0.19664885464783335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926265216331074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229275226380413,0.0,0.12092697271093687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969053975070421,0.07500115659818561,0.1036127627643708,0.14333241620359538,0.1470237297622876,0.06476577735493234,0.1298176346869693,0.12318417413580593,0.0,0.08006571890711177,0.06235606505659945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22105745802394336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590183678563695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438505875881286,0.11313776622801087,0.0708379315282322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491032491092036,0.05578286539825252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20800676148187075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018212494139098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242023209087133,0.07874605239987177,0.0,0.0,0.2790750045551375,0.1749828212320568,0.07343204561274806,0.0,0.1753415690699848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134498013030436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693957817187811,0.0,0.0,0.10382921730402338,0.0,0.0,0.06132046030050944,0.08401748569384049,0.0,0.16792702539538232,0.0,0.0,0.06912764689505246,0.0,0.0,0.17685797901831635,0.06410755330756365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618327940279918,0.14099128190790633,0.0,0.0,0.042768586694693536,0.0,0.06952334127094321,0.0,0.0,0.0995941090880796,0.07977928219345243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669462404751505,0.0,0.06051805254429464,0.0,0.058218564951298464,0.05883366036243973,0.0,0.0,0.06799238821096491,0.06618327050605645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brrzam,2019/01/03,"Exploring mental health in PC game ""Celeste"" A cross post from the games subreddit. It is about a video exploring the games main topic: ""Mental health"" focusing on the main character.


https://www.reddit.com/r/celestegame/comments/abbt9d/exploring_mental_health_in_celeste_madeline/",19.669895833333328,26.07550703125,10.695,37.38333333333336,41.1875,11.766666666666666,32.541666666666664,11.20814326018867,5.125654166666667,243,7,22,6,3,60,24,32,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,13,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6897688177304812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6539560802257196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107417307387381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pookster18,2019/01/03,"Severe Anxiety Hi everyone, so lately I've been having really severe anxiety about one thing. World War 3. Now I know that's probably weird but it's so bad that I basically just lay in bed all day looking at news updates etc. I need help....  Anyone able to help me out????",0.7438095238095244,3.2298950740740766,3.5889417989418,83.07166666666667,89.0,7.530158730158732,20.67724867724868,8.418075326091056,1.7633470899470902,210,7,41,6,7,74,45,54,0.28800000000000003,0.654,0.058,-0.9008,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,5,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,4,0,5,4,2,8,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,4,23,8,0,0.22759767252078505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34822319303235233,0.0,0.0,0.1591415845360035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19003454979372325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678167009024032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25383156758834186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747932957759109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051078446752972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508172862407238,0.0,0.2567400880602711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911247229788853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16876079029452515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542260731741457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24538878556780575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580489698829574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.51424117369327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512057804287046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yeetus-fetus_deletus,2019/01/03,"I’m not depressed but I get really sad sometimes. I’m not depressed by any means, I know people that have depression and I know I don’t have it. But sometimes I just get really sad and I don’t know why. I’m usually a really happy person but lately I just haven’t been feeling like myself. I’m a fifteen year old high school student, I’m a relatively liked guy. I play football so I’m a typical jock except I’m not afraid to share my feeling which is what I’m doing here. I’m not getting bullied and there’s really no one giving me negative energy.  I don’t have the best relationship with my parents but I don’t really care I just live with them they’re not the source of this . I have an awesome  girlfriend and really great friends bit I just find myself really down all time.I just for some reason am sad a lot.  I guess I just need a place to rant with no judgement. Would you guys mind if I share my problems? Maybe I could get some advice?

(I’m not suicidal I’m way to afraid to die😂 I like living too much. ) ",-0.3648992248062015,1.8945573860465144,2.2980232558139555,91.35153100775194,93.74418604651164,5.657364341085271,18.329457364341085,7.1686216300943375,0.5050806201550389,798,24,172,15,30,275,115,215,0.16399999999999998,0.5589999999999999,0.277,0.9845,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,1,10,20,0,2,9,0,15,0,0,1,1,43,40,10,1,5,18,1,2,3,2,1,0,0,0,3,5,7,0,0,8,1,0,0,14,9,0,1,1,2,26,11,12,37,7,8,0,6,0,0,12,3,0,5,7,102,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745904481658944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747817242059902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540418898555728,0.0,0.12005611417147707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211927505131992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780016314458601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841447422077432,0.0,0.11412898465375733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120582350841886,0.07856085992379075,0.0,0.0,0.10050837435308352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496067822303409,0.0,0.22981408370944426,0.1054909214780776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123964331656255,0.1211416853729916,0.21777038322806624,0.0,0.11706253195958813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618678413323225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813059154308081,0.0,0.12404821819460987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16117381226946156,0.0,0.19420677271055015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349050260916104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047721306875888,0.1197869308898635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103590586963433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808388230963359,0.08153956592955433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539247490821955,0.0,0.07451687705237946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210598193796485,0.0,0.0,0.0762376725971308,0.09601944774108848,0.11489271393760644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522412100561432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4931363258643319,0.11306498558643367,0.0,0.11806402489748165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111293060147832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175214936427521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028668222099564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412297925375905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211137514161452,0.0,0.0,0.08728714510032946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992286350704297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811781251399423,0.0,0.0,0.07081551500887966
mentalhealth,Thor_odonson3,2019/01/03,"I am solely responsible for messing up my life Let me start by saying I have no fucking clue why I am doing this... 

Let’s start with the basics: Hi, my name is Xander... At the time of me writing this I am in my 25th year of life... I could give a back story but they work best in movies as character development... Let’s start with the punchline shall we: Ive utterly fucked up my life and I’m hanging onto the idea of my present reality by a thread... 

I’m in a shit load of trouble with the government, with the state, with leinholders, The IRS,  My hustle is about to fire me after they find out about the charges against me, and I’m all trying to maintain Everything and act like everything is okay... I’ve made promises to people (I’m shitty at those) and I’ve set expectations... Without realizing that in 2 weeks I’m not going to have anything to my name.... NOTHING.... 

The worst part about this whole fiasco is that I put myself here... That’s right folks this isn’t your “why do bad things happen to good people” story... More like Xander is a dumbass for fucking up every opportunity ever given to him... Here’s some icing to put on the cake... Logically I know that I am screwed... I wrote down everything that needs to be fixed. Just to figure out where I need to start.. It’s bad... But  Emotionally I’m indifferent... It’s been the common thing in my life... I get myself into situations and I become numb and indifferent to it... I really don’t want to be this way because I know that it got me here but I really don’t know how to change and reverse my actions with this feeling of nonchalantness and numb...",2.3869126651627472,4.349548728971964,4.276429262004516,84.11775700934585,77.28660436137072,7.293629820603718,23.53002470727253,8.216663640201805,1.3807154581587713,1246,40,255,23,29,423,164,321,0.153,0.762,0.085,-0.9802,2,0,0,0,0,0,72.0,1,1,2,3,11,19,5,0,15,1,25,11,1,2,2,47,53,13,0,5,6,0,2,2,0,1,6,1,0,0,19,18,0,0,9,0,0,6,6,12,0,0,5,3,37,7,52,41,7,39,0,0,0,4,12,18,5,1,14,175,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753005467596305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178879464754005,0.17762213053409406,0.06483965200761696,0.11747275556491335,0.0,0.0,0.11162442676153604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252099536603748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492449855360361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964729635179655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621402625874037,0.08961783978082866,0.0,0.2867843780429936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053781783879722565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721648555843053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295000620904194,0.05557178119202588,0.10203584239052443,0.0604501796991113,0.0892146520144328,0.08507050938541373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405899468195814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007412942061632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536771460672254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.326298950448178,0.3005174611211097,0.10392999053556376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064596563137183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773790163561666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206092869370896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151838806502874,0.0,0.1474814142553076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138541717881836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628141026711665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083587868243002,0.0,0.08458641544004394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918304530080424,0.0,0.11955970348512512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011452637872007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132952612022354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202279886338007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221544915714867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273735071946375,0.08442828307293654,0.08532029148180305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19195732157439374,0.11875370429965774,0.0,0.10253291076613473,0.0,0.07743562603275779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684961381226674
mentalhealth,tj3883,2019/01/03,Can't sleep I have severe depression and anxiety (yes I've been diagnosed) and it is 4:39 a.m. and I have to be awake by 6:45. School is the reason why I feel this way. I have to be up in 2 hours. What can I do?,-2.30142857142857,-0.5161123333333322,0.8509523809523821,101.175,99.41666666666666,5.242857142857143,13.107142857142858,6.868970318607317,-0.6378607142857144,160,3,43,3,7,56,36,48,0.121,0.83,0.049,-0.4966,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,11,2,1,1,0,5,12,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,5,9,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496995677765496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811328644863658,0.33129504830459056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16504059586449954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214439946969761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355995577189064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33034012757418657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3687456820033963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266415580070533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590857561983488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945304938568238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WhoEmEye,2019/01/03,"Sharing a video on my thoughts on mental illness Sometimes it speaks more than words. I don't know. I hope someone out there understands.

​

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWkVEOcLUXY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWkVEOcLUXY)

​",18.208928571428565,24.90458775,5.5582857142857165,65.18671428571432,64.35714285714286,5.097142857142859,37.74285714285715,6.742157984588678,3.3934628571428576,219,9,19,2,5,45,25,28,0.187,0.718,0.096,-0.3952,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,2,4,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4596919481769945,0.515529532267741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21069589470583594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658272734219692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378012999312346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973956904587404,0.0,0.20980492217391214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16840987516633574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22083789316554048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.515529532267741,0.0
mentalhealth,IhateUUUUUU,2019/01/03,"I think I'm insane First, a long ass backstory. I've always been odd, not quite fitting in. Not in the oo-I-read-books-but-everyone-else-plays-sports way. I mean that it's just something off in me. And people notice, when I say something strange or something in just a slightly off tone or timing I notice people noticing. I didn't at first but when I did I became extremely depressed, but only for periods, as soon as I started talking to somebody it would dissappear, and I had a very upbeat and energetic personality and I was also VERY immature. so I would act stupid and then think about it later and then realise how stupid it was and become super sad for a while and shut myself out from for like a week or two and the process would repeat and get progressively worse and worse and the isolation periods would be longer and longer. During this time I would also not brush my teeth, shower for months at a time, be on the computer until the like 2 or 3 am and not eat lunch, I instead opted for sweets and such. I've tried to understand why I am like I am forever.


Usually I come to two conclusions, I am really stupid But the thing is I've been told that I'm smart since my childhood and throughout (I mean they can be wrong, only I have actually experienced all of me and I know alot of stuff and I can be wise but I have a hard time seeing the bigger picture).or I have autism that have lead to anxiety and deppression (I know it's bad to self diagnose). But every time I would interact with someone socially I would leave the interaction exhausted because I kept up a facade that was probably not that good to begin with or if it went successfully I'd memorize the reactions people gave me and memorize what I did and re tell it to my friends, usually not but sometimes. I love to have things organized. Sometimes when people made fun of me or act like I did something wrong, I would legitimatly not understand at all what I did that was ""wrong"". And I have a few interests that I know a lot about, like a ridiculous lot. 


 I went to a therapsychologist, I don't know what it's called, and they didn't even mention anything about me having autism. And they diagnosed me with deppression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts and ADD. Since I was only under investigation for ADD and they noticed all the other stuff surely they should've noticed the autism. But for a while I legitimately thought I had such severe autism that they hid it from me so I wouldn't be devastated. But I've started to drop that thought.


 However Highschool(starts at 15/16 here) I viewed as a fresh start, so I tried to actually better myself. After a year I sort of succeeded, I could atleast view myself as aalmost normal and normam is all I've ever wanted to be. and it's only went better after that as of now I would percieve myself as pretty swell to be around, atleast that's what I gather from people. HOWEVER, HERE comes the part that this all have been building up to, I started to regain these feelings of being autistic, but without much solid ""proof"" to myself (ie I havent been weird). 


But I'm still convinced there's something wrong with me, but like inside my mind, obviously autism is also a diffrence in the mind but I view my problem as lying elsewhere in my mind but that anomaly being viewed as autism or something like it from outside. I thought I might have schizophrenia for some reason but I probably don't because I don't recognise any of the symptoms. 

Sorry for the long, rambling, basically rambling, unedited, poorly written post.",5.774508021390375,6.599638194117649,6.3152139037433175,77.31187165775401,67.05882352941177,9.240641711229946,31.483957219251337,9.339509955726095,2.771941176470589,2812,109,519,52,44,915,283,680,0.14,0.7340000000000001,0.126,-0.6395,3,1,6,0,0,0,78.0,0,0,6,11,27,36,4,0,32,0,60,9,2,4,9,125,97,73,0,15,32,0,2,7,1,11,4,1,1,2,36,38,2,1,19,0,1,8,15,14,0,4,29,11,78,22,73,47,12,70,0,2,5,2,21,21,1,14,45,378,114,4,0.0,0.0,0.108940457053487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391268786610094,0.046444972767569134,0.0,0.0,0.037958093015016965,0.0,0.08540109704828641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04593338410201769,0.04968977416390159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04660562350295081,0.06805215995197854,0.06164649642755673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873281115850854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05699632713266836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616437436685724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0445660593515561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04807588426614345,0.1133080077943739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057115657093140114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03686720325713072,0.050490495413319736,0.04702899675185874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028223212538645882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495737180635022,0.0,0.0,0.04312477895970373,0.0,0.029162554281227774,0.0,0.0,0.04681741481457266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000188378603848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270425473009075,0.0,0.0,0.05910310743386325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908886801718208,0.0,0.0,0.09879418808303064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949087823726578,0.05037784323396245,0.05281625625367988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160413558200975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921398189304911,0.1690805322192065,0.0,0.04455332338926017,0.0,0.0410325864894865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468970073341055,0.0,0.3177453036176165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980814383975276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044535733305712,0.0,0.19348555401845735,0.0487380461911688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053458128477957736,0.0567868815763157,0.12036229585023835,0.05341020168982102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059369218262135176,0.05583301532115949,0.0,0.03575838257463794,0.0573901081474078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04438864255944931,0.0,0.0,0.04447964766174814,0.0,0.0582302537745,0.06305835059171877,0.0,0.0923463042508218,0.0,0.0,0.056899330135691976,0.047294334178136346,0.2578281257388693,0.1104106808999681,0.06248358059145225,0.19754102067069126,0.0,0.04457625519020102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779630572640946,0.0,0.0,0.05260771978749245,0.058016180995914386,0.0,0.04486432187545747,0.04878731379047448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416587859186033,0.07153172605794136,0.0,0.17725274311706138,0.16273936157246424,0.0,0.0,0.053336405221942135,0.0,0.07579339408652194,0.0,0.10905197521544466,0.11621682608909535,0.0,0.0,0.12295108438495808,0.09211124328211028,0.03292284962928841,0.04430565900843708,0.044773760679553104,0.0,0.0,0.15523128591872487,0.050366982036699766,0.0,0.0,0.05380647356789685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376643830650415,0.3568629772203748,0.24411248945390754,0.0,0.03594490410797544
mentalhealth,inbi12,2019/01/03,"Addicted to depression Anyone else feels like the depression became something so familiar and a part of you that in a way you can’t let it go? Idk if it’s fear or addiction but something is holding me back from moving on and getting better,
Anyone else can relate? I feel kinda weird about it",5.113421052631576,6.364386614035088,6.114868421052632,76.60282894736844,68.82456140350878,9.208771929824564,30.03947368421053,9.516144504307137,2.9007578947368424,235,9,41,5,4,78,48,57,0.165,0.743,0.092,-0.3336,0,0,2,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,1,3,6,0,1,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,9,8,6,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,2,6,7,1,6,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,3,2,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4118645227116681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26417087845959464,0.3871070974880266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452548230510114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706944026232642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254039252084556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156085998581102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21256850487355103,0.1910301657942773,0.13495241186759072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869407268395322,0.0,0.10735798459233496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316621758653246,0.0,0.09228851244227657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20077409921845815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045636480435591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908536695865871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994248748998953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tentoesdowngangshit,2019/01/03,"Seeking Help I have a really difficult time communicating with others, maintaining very little eye contact, not speaking loudly, not listening well. I generally feel more normal after taking stimulants such as caffeine and sugar. My brain feels like it is running nonstop and I have trouble sleeping anywhere from 4-6 hours a night normally. I greatly fear rejection and disagreement. I can't make new friends and don't fit in anymore with my old friends. I'm 23 years old and have always had these kind of problems; but it seems only within the past couple of years they have gotten worse to the point that they are unmanageable. I used to be a pretty cool guy who was funny. Now I'm just antisocial. I've never had a girlfriend. I don't even talk to women anymore because I don't even like myself right now. I still have emotions by myself, but not around others so much face to face. I can interact better with others while playing a video game. My daily routine is I go to work, go home and play Xbox, and then try to go to sleep but have trouble doing so, so I stay on the computer just randomly browsing nothing. I also obsess over thinking of ideas that could make me a lot of money in the tech field. It always feels like my mind is moving really fast and also thinking of many, many ideas at once; almost like my mind is scattered. Even alcohol doesn't really have the same effect it used to have on me. Now it just makes me worse. I've never taken any steps to curbing these bad things about me, but now I'm seeking help if anybody has any ideas. There's honestly so much to say and it's hard to put it all together.",5.3142121075559565,6.203721589905367,6.005660207300585,78.89125131440592,68.1167192429022,8.561754544088929,29.60627910470182,8.704169506293173,2.307062610785639,1292,46,237,20,21,422,181,317,0.11,0.762,0.129,0.8864,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,3,22,22,0,2,11,1,26,8,6,7,3,55,47,23,0,5,11,0,4,4,3,0,1,4,1,2,16,13,2,1,10,5,1,7,10,8,1,0,5,11,26,14,32,40,6,40,0,1,1,0,17,12,0,5,24,158,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968040628251414,0.09070427552208576,0.0,0.0,0.1448759660697555,0.15074210829476756,0.0,0.0,0.12319703569571115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966499177066125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063672849634691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563175868769786,0.05521763419106263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011196489652768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111889743592456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232194729301505,0.10022669331817163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189198179421224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794846551118715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019293568817764,0.13740216564076166,0.1294228659084828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399660654913936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443864083434986,0.0,0.0,0.09986641003531048,0.0,0.08968991408287068,0.0,0.0,0.08114322101487467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142972373841393,0.0,0.090860617785597,0.0,0.08920451919163733,0.0,0.0,0.30676642219080824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432668044636744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701415788595554,0.09078644734543594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700914166825393,0.0,0.0,0.18139153936822666,0.1836708225223788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829229615145891,0.0,0.0,0.09627378629787668,0.1331756318852143,0.0,0.13972405506303806,0.08748416532685553,0.0,0.08500459010378784,0.1775012514663529,0.08691538050122967,0.0,0.1901000679139949,0.09646632820364193,0.0,0.06889130319907065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864702795751799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562878445677237,0.0,0.0,0.092153937683826,0.0,0.08667425048846428,0.0,0.09105941397283716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408646159038071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735609561755433,0.0,0.07203403474085454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246198445325797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129380925280425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654781370090827,0.07233849313341052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810600578970917,0.07280596869510751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017831552200484,0.11608191967190815,0.0,0.0,0.05281879394944405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149888426351029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564666443115891,0.0,0.07473921386219963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144363589491711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659444019090425,0.0,0.1846205492393339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666301657244055
mentalhealth,Pohutukiwi,2019/01/03,"Instigating fights but then shutting down I don't know why I get like this, or why I am so irritable. Does anyone feel like this? 

I recently had an incident when I, accidentally but reflecting back on it probably instigated, a really stupid fight with my partner. 

What it was about doesn't matter. It ended up in him yelled at me, which really caught me off guard and from there, I shut down.

I sat on the bed trying to get thoughts into order  but I couldn't voice them. I ended up removing myself from the room because I can feel myself get anxious and I sat on the couch for the next 20 minutes. It's like i get tunnel vision and i ignore absolutely everything and everyone, even though in my head my conscience tells me that ""I'm being stupid, apologize already etc.""

I often snap or worry over really little things to where I hate myself. I don't have suicidal thoughts but sometimes I am so resentful of how I act to people. 
",4.186550907655882,5.8199054806629835,5.685292028413577,77.32907458563538,71.54143646408839,9.149329123914761,26.740726124704018,9.606745405546679,2.5273201262825578,736,25,137,18,14,249,115,181,0.224,0.684,0.092,-0.9832,0,0,0,0,2,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,11,10,6,0,6,0,11,1,1,1,0,24,25,16,1,1,6,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,3,1,10,6,0,2,6,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,7,4,29,3,22,16,1,29,0,0,0,0,7,18,0,3,10,100,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709061405823433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496233950613907,0.0,0.1082907607073143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908773121641605,0.0,0.0944091068186598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553035356957807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743429124450578,0.0,0.17272426704695107,0.10229211630795568,0.0,0.0,0.14798773121896358,0.13918981231527522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661682387198286,0.1106412593670005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236588762718736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290496492494285,0.15894431740770773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511411761281189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22698928682517516,0.15522337258174634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647091288131099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736939635765387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697922378779556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976467135679809,0.0,0.15291834435805918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317329786977596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940585959623458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536577596627675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289069971062867,0.0,0.15216187733530284,0.2459036299604269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051485602148795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27949747902736816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572809884035517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway1781982,2019/01/03,"How do I stop reminiscing about the past so much? I’m only 18 but I find myself non stop thinking about how great life was when i was younger. I don’t currently have any major issues with my parents or siblings but life used to be so enjoyable and happy and I haven’t felt like that in a while, i’m not wishful for the future and am scared for what’s ahead in my life, what can i do to be more hopeful?",1.1150862068965497,2.835226758620692,2.8926293103448266,93.69342672413794,80.26436781609196,5.729310344827588,21.219827586206893,6.6274283507984215,0.20847241379310333,316,9,73,3,8,105,58,87,0.083,0.67,0.247,0.9659,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,1,3,0,11,3,0,3,0,18,18,12,0,2,4,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,1,9,5,10,13,3,10,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,9,51,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870293068224866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099572550698041,0.0,0.19986019288941287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410841748765029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327780184303475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171884047828488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282344101567234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4633587405569388,0.10683099597829136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074742906724915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630820094606896,0.0,0.0,0.2428068831094781,0.0,0.20874502242898169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21892657020140047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656354101193962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011474835376295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888604578166834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25145942450013065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Devlopz,2019/01/03,"I think my brain is broken? Anyone else experience this? It's a combination of a several different things that make me feel like my brain is broken, erhm or something like that. Like my brain doesn't work how it is supposed to??

a) I have a horrible memory. 

b) I have the attention span of a goldfish.

c) I struggle with putting thoughts into words. Forget words mid-sentence. Forget what I was talking about.

​

For example, 

At work once (I'm an aviation mechanic) my supervisor explained to me a task I needed to do. Step by step. I swore I was listening and understood everything she was asking of me. Got out to the plane and I was completely lost and couldn't remember what she asked me. I did what I could remember and when I went back to ask for more instruction, and explained what I did thus far, I had done it wrong anyway because I couldn't remember what she explained/wasn't paying attention the first time. 

​

My wife will ask me to do some chore before she leaves for work. If she doesn't text me to remind me, I won't remember to do it. 

​

At the barber today I was trying to compare Black Mirror to The Twilight Zone. Could not remember twilight zone. It came out like this...

Similar to that show the...erhm...I can't remember what it was called...uhm...its older in black and white?? Eventually, I remembered. (Actually, a lot of people do that too) 

​

​

I don't feel like I'm explaining well enough how shit my memory is or attention span. I mean my wife will literally be right next to me and speaking to me but if I'm zoned in on something else I won't pay attention at all. It's a problem even when I drive.

​

Anyone else experiences this to this extreme? ",2.0920126660488094,4.774297620481928,3.6528915662650623,84.0354510349089,83.33734939759037,7.3810318195860365,25.38029039233859,8.384062270229773,2.1379520234785288,1358,56,256,33,39,448,158,332,0.07200000000000001,0.889,0.039,-0.8693,1,0,2,0,0,0,81.0,0,0,0,5,10,11,1,1,14,0,33,4,4,4,1,55,56,16,0,8,6,2,2,5,0,4,0,2,1,0,22,12,0,0,20,1,2,6,9,5,1,1,16,7,43,6,33,31,5,27,0,1,3,0,17,13,1,6,13,173,65,6,0.0,0.0,0.05604052230110417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733331444181404,0.4186809494601473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030866502475066,0.11768160972983399,0.0,0.0,0.21474617956681724,0.0,0.0,0.04415786098624538,0.0,0.03500700006752076,0.0,0.04886619460251509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19232275890986952,0.0,0.06568125285000556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060211175188107674,0.0,0.0,0.09170166200925706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599990503632812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876781611391557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391880819375935,0.0,0.0,0.05933749964154812,0.0,0.0379300286081266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051611734644183484,0.1123493595053086,0.0,0.0,0.0580736895900571,0.08205179997244999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488474241461582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04592966241474213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080696005499185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402797930373111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268841494568446,0.048822429049606486,0.0,0.0,0.03833300553309468,0.0,0.0,0.06255489885308851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04258143406260057,0.0,0.0,0.06107432511311705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061157939984414676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03981268960378679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494993650403602,0.0,0.057730052324687725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553756147168879,0.04904239169568001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487622685245471,0.058948047311672365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842030604679761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06003522725067141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04615769198308158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03815198398853327,0.03679693841763836,0.0,0.04559066747217038,0.03348617792925708,0.0,0.0544341339276502,0.0,0.0,0.038989201133025314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163381968534193,0.05323545586672343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542274126203598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278747023478677,0.4186809494601473,0.0
mentalhealth,understandnm9,2019/01/03,2019 I want it to all get better this year. I want people to accept me for who I am.,-3.2601666666666667,-1.717365349999998,0.5800000000000018,102.77833333333334,102.5,2.666666666666667,6.666666666666668,3.1291,-2.539833333333333,63,0,17,0,3,23,16,20,0.0,0.616,0.384,0.7269,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,3,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,12,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4837831780611742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857885443554101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792257310761668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6452777202470935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3522545289740173
mentalhealth,wavyish,2019/01/03,"Can someone help me figure out what is happening? Sometimes, when I feel extremely overwhelmed I feel like I can’t control my actions at all, and I do things I don’t usually do. I start hyperventilating and I get extremely dizzy, and it feels like someone else is controlling my body, and I am a spectator. The last time this happened I cut my wrists a lot. The closest comparison I can think of is the comic Venom, or maybe even Ratatouille, sort of.

What is going on? How do I stop this?",3.5458157894736813,5.4746122526315775,4.940197368421051,80.79450657894739,73.84210526315789,8.118421052631579,29.769736842105264,8.841846274778883,2.5137631578947377,384,17,74,8,8,128,62,95,0.07200000000000001,0.813,0.114,0.5814,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,1,1,5,0,12,2,2,3,1,18,21,7,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,5,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,3,15,2,5,21,2,12,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,3,8,53,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21488071653942456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4339440290126071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16160368741752856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777271915717692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29344427763580555,0.2764032081951684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107028819335624,0.0,0.10994279744997716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421365842794684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966628800850385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157688579723191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890210079656308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446532587613238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19434777161482408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327821214781183,0.0,0.1913282223252951,0.0,0.13692578295206825,0.0,0.0,0.16173389833119958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852040755939578,0.12395574300393493,0.0,0.0,0.11280297340154173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21305920963981825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lilmamamelon,2019/01/03,"I physically cannot stop myself from eating, and I never go for healthy options. TL:DR I cannot stop myself from eating when I’m anxious and depressed and can’t force myself to work out either. What should I do to at least lessen the problems I’m causing for my body? 

Ever since I started having mental health issues I have had a consistent eating problem. It’s often the only thing that offers me some sort of comfort and happiness. When I get anxious my body has trained itself to get hungry because that’s when I eat. I never want or even force myself to eat better food options because it doesn’t fill that void for me. On the same side of that, I have absolutely no motivation to lose weight. I can not force myself to go to the gym. Every night I get myself all worked up and make myself sick worrying about how long it’s going to take for my boyfriend to leave me because I can’t stop gaining weight. He’s an incredible guy and is very understanding and loving, and has never really made comments about my weight, only that he wishes it was a habit he could help me work on. I don’t know what to do at this point. My doctors warn me that it’s bad for me, and I know it is, I weigh a ton. But they never give me any actual ways to work on this problem. 
Please please help. I’m so stuck in the rut that I’ve been in for years and I just want to be healthy, feel pretty and be something my boyfriend is proud of again.
Thank you.
",4.374852809991078,4.816393661016949,5.225263157894737,85.25409455842998,70.01694915254237,7.566458519179304,26.034790365744872,7.273561745256523,1.1238813559322032,1130,31,236,10,19,369,150,295,0.134,0.722,0.14300000000000002,0.6972,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,1,9,12,12,0,0,9,0,24,16,2,5,6,49,48,18,0,8,5,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,19,12,10,3,5,1,0,4,12,6,0,0,5,4,39,6,34,39,6,32,0,2,0,1,12,11,0,6,16,160,58,6,0.0,0.0,0.08368429310077105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05831618973023825,0.0,0.0,0.1937569801374233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160165769178371,0.1568259502555385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584313239658144,0.0,0.19050845276405026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809377929752472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846821234265431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386046467624803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877736490746477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387427332417715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566402221290603,0.07757010629938682,0.07225209907987595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0433601924245608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369501801140607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440999639863158,0.08226379716503596,0.14620924975534294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491071261591304,0.0,0.09128755583721336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115331899231384,0.0,0.0,0.1149592401867553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950570849278723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425716666952348,0.0,0.0,0.09080192794185564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589028002823503,0.0,0.09593766141458046,0.0,0.0,0.07739703527966184,0.08114324445413927,0.05724198024474459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642064653474983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26455748578431243,0.0,0.0,0.08047505001138916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044074592974106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882659892434269,0.08106598365052467,0.0,0.0,0.0872434386754589,0.0,0.24616722347260694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05493670669503995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093723856789523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601821774182769,0.0,0.0,0.06069767328079144,0.0,0.0,0.21508450288224426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447692077934715,0.0,0.0,0.07895147811010754,0.0,0.0,0.05697166406333504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927374825411469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075667285765089,0.10116077984645452,0.06806815125926056,0.0,0.3132786515773947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861376262947226,0.0,0.0,0.2497219990177855,0.08708813974515922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05522326548297962
mentalhealth,YisanTiger,2019/01/03,"Really hate a security guard at our building. So basically there is one day I think I lost my key at the condo gym, I was trying to go to the management office to figure out if I should get a new key or not.

The time is 12 am - 1 am, ok, I know this time is lunch time, but I am only trying to talk to the lady inside the management office for quick 1 min to 2 min about the key situation, they I will just leave, I am not going to completely interrupt her lunch time. (later on I talked to the lady asked her if I was rude, I wasn't)

And then this security guard from outside looked at the camera then talked to me extremely rude ""It is lunch time, blah blah blah"" very rude gesture, not even a freaking please.

After I talk with the management lady, I went to the security guard place, I talked to him, I said I am looking for my key.

Then he respond with ""So...? How does that related with me? Again, kind of rude.

(The situation is every time usually when someone loses their stuff, if some one found it they will turn it in at the security guard place, that's why I need go to the security guard area to find my key)

I said ""I think I lost my key I want to find the lost and found box"" He said ""That box have been sitting there for a long time, no one has ever been turning recently""

(There is 3 security guard at my building, so there is a chance some one might turn the key in, that is why I want to do a double check to see if my key was there)

So this situation got me extremely heated, in the security guard head he might think I am a stranger, but every day I drive my car to the building he should recognize me, and when we talk each other about this key bullshit it really got me in the head, I even said some negative word to him, every time I see this security guard I want to punch his face, like today when I walk by the security area he even stared me again, he still think he is a punk ass tough dude.

Like even if we fight I don't think I am win because this security probably have his own weapon. I mean I am taller than him and more muscular than him, if he finish his shift and walk into the build and saw me I really want to aggressively attack him.

My solution to this is simple, security guard makes just little more than minimum wage, in the end I will find a way better job than him, I am not going to waste my fucking time with this kind of low level pathetic human being.

​",6.161995967741937,4.769197433467742,7.206874193548387,78.73006129032261,66.6008064516129,10.839225806451614,29.71903225806452,9.98439552973466,2.4183770322580647,1861,49,411,36,25,633,196,496,0.158,0.721,0.121,-0.973,2,0,0,0,1,0,62.0,3,0,3,6,26,35,10,0,30,1,38,9,5,2,1,68,79,26,0,13,15,0,0,5,0,7,0,4,1,1,18,15,3,20,13,1,2,9,8,17,0,4,19,10,68,18,53,52,8,65,0,5,6,2,39,21,2,12,35,267,86,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284101093644224,0.08168881888597927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284867436066438,0.07648103143830752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04098128408198859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945729547975255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704867960846374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671240273474909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05883127283510595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954364578613349,0.0,0.0,0.17761262314730836,0.06081115830662005,0.16992630452924873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843342594584512,0.0,0.0,0.14742305413570844,0.0,0.06215077695675888,0.035123614662598564,0.0,0.15282783977714864,0.0,0.1075360093454409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637327707348961,0.13798970129893454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667129595518491,0.0,0.0,0.14001427422651955,0.03694649754475825,0.0,0.0,0.07118425741621212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568795998898916,0.06737965586472021,0.0,0.0594942569102449,0.1129084029451604,0.07521042053664277,0.2201604024838068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04487490463159385,0.0,0.0,0.0732304989194705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263559101119885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04984836868546575,0.0,0.06492877654863044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222048244925387,0.05112957316154786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047694020308008,0.07379565029502197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248265804464836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920304974634936,0.0,0.06637908484318338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557951399787399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714328996929147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22669971328840474,0.0,0.0,0.056961676037627584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368799986804047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695944865377315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242096981882103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21538346384039,0.0,0.0,0.3528082700896457,0.0,0.06372384671475315,0.0,0.0,0.09128617274719032,0.219372774232588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740416368991683,0.05546976070639144,0.15861017835713634,0.053362091652806885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06232060261948823,0.12132479560707303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168881888597927,0.0
mentalhealth,dubiouspersonhood,2019/01/03,"How to be supportive without getting dragged into the negative spiral vortex? I'd like to be supportive to my housemate, who is going through a very hard time at the moment. She is a lovely person, with a really good heart. A close family member has passed away and she's dealing with an abusive BPD ex. I feel for her and I want to help.

She's having trouble leaving the house, keeps her room dark and has been ordering a lot of takeout food. I can hear her crying from the next rooms during the day some times.

She is seeing a therapist on a regular basis.

However, an enquiry into how she is doing if she looks upset can lead into a 45 minute plus monologue, with many many tangents. It's really draining to listen to. I've given it a shot but sometimes I don't have the energy to be a therapist. It's like she's piling all her stresses and anxietes on me, and I'm being slowly crushed under the weight of it all. It can really impact my mood and eat up a lot of time. It's really hard to keep her on track / get to the point of her long, rambling, detailed stories. I want to be a supportive friend but I don't have the energy to listen to her for hours every day. She doesn't seem to register that I might be in the middle of something when she launches into one of these epic stories. 

And perhaps this isn't a crisis, but something she does all the time? I haven't known her for more than 4 months but the whole time she's been in the house, it seems like some major shit has been going down in her life. I can't tell if she is genuinely suffering or perpetuating drama at this point.  I find it hard to understand this pattern of behaviour / emotion processing - I'm more of a represser myself and I'm aghast at the thought of imposing my emotional turmoil on others.

Can anyone offer some words of advice, or suggestions, on how I can help my housemate without getting sucked into the spiral? Or help shed some light on her way of dealing with things? I feel like such an asshole when I avoid her and run to my room and I feel like she could really use a hand. 

First post on this sub btw, please let me know if it's not the right place or if I've missed a similar post.",3.5471243042671574,4.824603081632657,4.927033601319317,83.54029684601115,72.60544217687075,8.066542980828695,26.062049062049066,8.575989854853784,1.786792290249433,1713,56,342,30,33,572,208,441,0.112,0.757,0.131,0.8313,1,1,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,2,6,22,2,5,35,0,35,8,3,6,3,70,68,28,0,7,15,1,8,5,1,1,1,3,3,1,18,21,3,4,10,1,0,5,10,10,0,2,5,14,46,11,61,54,13,55,0,2,2,1,40,31,2,17,20,239,64,1,0.0,0.09732627828831314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026939956175115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574364462490029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717625501404947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034565044464486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558467357558066,0.0,0.09023046515157117,0.10595115700346262,0.16937209670517742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718840814956215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405301660079573,0.0,0.18480012267556373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920920192262862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743731307714244,0.0,0.12460223375370255,0.11736625922742247,0.0,0.0,0.07507741087797414,0.06987097719799938,0.09932790232139976,0.0,0.06346364458163567,0.0,0.128749319391935,0.0,0.09336776479519587,0.06889783195873005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22075255972729044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258137393052936,0.09734010595048694,0.16517659766869927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089452084229484,0.1895644840090552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602532849658656,0.0,0.0,0.04514376304468407,0.0,0.0,0.08697780474093117,0.0,0.08399700328989165,0.05802018241812128,0.20065512955857487,0.0,0.0,0.07269416088012105,0.06897961277838607,0.0,0.0,0.1396704488109345,0.07413745913404023,0.0,0.0,0.16656065539391304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714097073135925,0.0,0.0,0.0655659309732056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736024164945498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05566236875100088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172428742115758,0.08582217697479444,0.09016858354735938,0.1553037794880715,0.0,0.15734098806139524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631152364457902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014985727090205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545750768854397,0.14956019673667906,0.0,0.0,0.08431883034930479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647572099504076,0.08124174059186999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409477589849154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27964544275122033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179679101392146,0.0,0.0,0.1907492089210289,0.054572302427760684,0.0,0.0,0.06521253767359854,0.2394918478753897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551398434083456,0.0,0.07094536428247664,0.0,0.06777675557584567,0.09690039359692293,0.06520146106473895,0.0,0.10002830704890278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917099666766722,0.0,0.15836625703728086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EsquiloEstrabico,2019/01/03,"Whats wrong with me? Well, I don't how to start. My life was completely destroyed in the past year and a half. My first girlfriend ever turned out to be psychopath (diagnosed) and she suck all vital force of me. Since then, i've only been with women 3 times, terrible times. 

Socializing has always been a problem to me. It got easier when I hit 16 years old. My social circle forcefully expanded (people came to me to become my friends) and that gave me so much comfort. I was learning to be friends with people. 6 years after that, I lost most of that friends and kept only one good friend. 

I was the kid that likes books more than people. The kid if things don't go my away when socializing, I wouldn't socialize at all. I was always following my routine and my habits, there was no space for others. 

I was the teen bullied. I was the nerd. I was the teen awkward enough to never talk to any girl. I see other people in my class with girls and boys, and I had no idea what to do.

Before I met this devil woman, I was a year without  contact with girls. She made me feel.so safe that all my trust issues were gone. And now they are chronic.

Well... I was the kid and the teen extremely smart, but terrible socializer. I am the man who can't find women attractive anymore, because it appeared to have died with my fucking ex. And was recently diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and social phobia.

It's just it? There is more? I feel these 2 diagnosis don't explain everything accurately, like something is missing. I am already on therapy, but it's hard for me to talk about this",2.543333333333333,4.836722077922079,3.8152987012987047,85.9948528138528,78.22077922077922,6.833939393939395,24.87705627705628,7.908726449838941,1.5078204329004334,1232,45,240,21,30,402,174,308,0.15,0.767,0.083,-0.9694,0,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,2,12,27,3,1,12,0,30,6,0,2,5,43,50,19,1,3,5,1,2,2,5,1,5,0,0,11,19,20,0,2,5,1,0,5,9,12,2,3,23,3,38,15,32,23,8,30,1,2,1,1,33,7,2,3,20,171,57,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025500420005024,0.0,0.15464961894663576,0.0,0.0,0.06319526388884314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216111818288687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731034806622995,0.0,0.0,0.05664897607829846,0.10263335958476187,0.07907618144188508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628662022784256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743483921211403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886430240436924,0.09644617557483638,0.0,0.10650528702294704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602104125622557,0.0,0.0,0.08406007594377407,0.0,0.0,0.08351906520348977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939759204164981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493590255803388,0.07904580674165114,0.0,0.0,0.2871884828806688,0.08591184868749613,0.0,0.0,0.052813990786093626,0.07794487680479256,0.07432423065097331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324660144406776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490612263575907,0.0,0.09699428055785034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563887196742224,0.0908013440136185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144355448324564,0.0,0.0,0.08793216377470776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831389369900676,0.0,0.07167297882992273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751390436685754,0.0,0.0629714513739493,0.14135418310111614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871174708769025,0.2577025276804721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892100529942988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175669512594667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405280003278591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687226363006837,0.0,0.0,0.5683796888743969,0.0,0.07154168869682875,0.0,0.0,0.06577599630843932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938646464625438,0.0,0.0,0.10627301106164756,0.0,0.061738247325890075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083759070362681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108063813446704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16710960725251678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958074618516991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160384758725237,0.0,0.23937426989959704
mentalhealth,uncreativemusician,2019/01/03,I think I need help but am not sure how to proceed - how do I ask my mom for therapy I’m a music major and used to love it but now I’m burnt out and haven’t practiced or been motivated in months...I’m also stuck in this major because I have a full ride scholarship for my instrument. I feel trapped and have NO idea what I want to do with my life. I’m 19. Everyday I just have these existential thoughts and   dont feel happy or content with anything. It’s like there’s a grey cloud over everything I do. I’m pretty sure my mom has a negative view of mental health problems ... the other day I just wanted to relax in the pool instead of swimming laps and she accused me of  doing drugs and of having schizophrenia...she told me she’d get me a therapist (but she said it in a really negative way...). She does really care ALOT and wants me to succeed in life but I know she’ll completely flip out if I ask for therapy and tell her of my  issues (she’ll blame it on my college). I have a feeling she’ll feel dejected and that it’s somehow her fault...She’ll FOR SURE say something like “if only you’d be more organized you’d get everything done and feel okay”...how the FUCK can I ask her for therapy without her going insane ? Do I blame it on school ? ,1.92334681496461,3.713567054263572,3.7863329962925536,87.89585945399395,78.06976744186046,7.2776541961577355,24.395685877991237,8.18289091462,1.4234935625210654,972,34,208,18,23,328,138,258,0.182,0.657,0.161,-0.8506,0,1,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,0,2,9,12,1,0,11,0,24,6,0,4,3,49,53,21,0,7,12,2,5,2,0,3,4,2,0,0,11,14,0,0,10,3,1,3,7,2,0,0,6,9,37,10,28,40,5,19,0,0,2,2,24,11,1,6,6,138,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868100440092158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091255400125489,0.0,0.3110096492964555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759927672680219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306269240250966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626908577531007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151674037818226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704311569676292,0.11348192808444076,0.12996564168002456,0.0,0.12860054671956608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993267589815234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28035388676356143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251869028506627,0.11587391661385707,0.0,0.06302298515089348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804754389240993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787395692653133,0.0,0.0,0.07432916692382302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518457535028993,0.0,0.11574336671654376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060943832472831534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665385598595946,0.10835332968169206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008516314765628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175395125282328,0.0,0.0,0.2597528259978791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222567312451443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433904018614725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281793626648592,0.0,0.10610951971582668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208165035005815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548453300169797,0.0881864773732603,0.0,0.11222952538953472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537076477843596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31354571055998137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692527402530246,0.0,0.3804470538046804,0.1287551928413867,0.0,0.07105568651970462,0.0,0.08803656813398945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059629090025995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577585260837933,0.0,0.0,0.1962224997086628,0.0880216147727901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689678913869292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alamozony,2019/01/03,"I'm always worried that I'm losing my mind. I worry about losing control of my mind. This will sound ridiculous, but I've always been paranoid that it was coming from the environment. I stayed a night with my Dad, and our room smelled like gas. It wasn't explosive, but I'm worried that it's knocked me down a peg mentally. Often, I've thought this about many things and incidents, but I'm worried one day it'll be legitimate.",4.493333333333332,5.6300861176470605,5.205588235294119,82.97348039215687,70.17647058823529,8.019607843137255,30.637254901960784,8.344100000000001,2.190607843137254,340,14,67,5,6,110,55,85,0.204,0.757,0.039,-0.8674,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,3,3,4,1,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,0,12,12,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,10,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,4,2,7,1,6,5,0,6,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,38,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750738824969205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423852046773589,0.0,0.0,0.18539005207477485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660025167053072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075376584789153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698409687471231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758106551700422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665763745065974,0.0,0.3337974358383003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511619742099536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200675264434648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618024758792675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098132637258408,0.0,0.0,0.13122410598786344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6714518885456069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,splatterwall,2019/01/04,"I don't know what to do. Graphic thoughts. I feel very often lately like a mixture of bored, tired, aggressive, antisocial and frustrated. I just want to tear the skin off of my face and scream. I'm getting squeezing, tight, crushing, almost stabbing pains in my chest and back and I don't know how to manage this feeling and mitigate it. The chest and back pains happen alongside the other feelings, but aren't there when they're gone. I've felt this way for at least a week continuously, but off and on for years. I dont want to do anything when I'm awake but sleep again. I don't necessarily want to go back to sleep either, because the sooner I sleep the sooner I have to wake up and go to work and be a functioning adult. I just want to know how to lessen and navigate these feelings, and I'd welcome any advice either on what might be the problem or what I might be able to do to help. Every time I try to talk to a professional I dont know what to say.",4.227543171114603,4.8562011734693895,5.100204081632653,85.35029042386185,70.42857142857143,7.867503924646781,27.321821036106748,7.882392219407189,1.4364737833594976,754,24,161,9,13,246,104,196,0.095,0.818,0.087,-0.1097,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,12,9,2,0,10,0,15,11,8,2,0,41,36,19,0,5,8,0,8,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,9,11,0,1,10,0,0,3,6,7,0,0,3,10,14,2,26,28,3,22,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,5,12,104,23,3,0.12740993506391696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450351395728546,0.0,0.0,0.12758264563952396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664312491630309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484752052757652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939111265546349,0.0,0.07766791383870159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986469899904569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734836543679006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25768916563409444,0.0,0.12233351820730945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656643241975466,0.0,0.14482000451985955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266818479924948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540019378717763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280084673013871,0.0,0.14372395633824486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224605854782338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703236133554678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711463079527029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191410076858515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132149422316747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3825058469858131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240727960181364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114925661289884,0.0742937577393264,0.14643897759736824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650298250061042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512653987557416,0.3005987231131531,0.1011320760094151,0.10220056465946373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275595017153443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204782088235421
mentalhealth,mxkha1,2019/01/04,"Why Hey guys 
So few weeks ago i had parents evening and i told to my tutor about the pressure i had from  my parentz to perform well the pressure to do good from teachers and all of that. So when i had the opportunity to take extra currical activities outside class  as poetry as it helps to put on paper my feelings i took it and i went for, u may wonder what this has to do with all of this i stufy maths further maths and
Physics poetry is the way i express myself i also took an Extended project Qualification about physics as I’m really interested in astrophyisc stars and stuff like that.
Long story story short i mentioned this two (poetry and epq) to say how my teachers whom which are meant to support me just spoke to the pdincipal to stop me from doing what i love outiside class it may seems no big of a deal but i come from a muslim strict background after years and years of mental,emotional and physical abuse those things were my gate a way from this hell i really felt my heart getting shattered but really broke me was how my maths teacher sayd in front of the whole class if i was doing an Extended project and he KNEW I WAS he then said as ypur grades are going down well you not doing it anymore and there’s no reason to cry about it i had to hold my tears in the mid of the lesson then my other maths teacher said you’ve should have choosen humanities if you wanted to do poetry (just to make it clear my hobbies are physics and poetry and when i found a possibility to make my hobbies into something real i took it and they took it away from me)  so they caused me sleepless night when i spoke to my tutor i told her the pressure from my parent to achieve perfect grades was causing me to do bad (want to aknowledge not to show off but when it comes to maths its never a big of a deal i love maths). Long story short i told my tutor i hated myself im lost and when she spoke to my sister in parents evening she said you should help him at home i told my sis that i might have anxiety and depression symptoms and she said get over it people got it worse than you i really don’t know where to go spoke to gp im on a waiting list for a counsellor had sessions with my school counsellor but i just believe id be better dead off last thing to mention i always felt bi in an muslim community so imagine creating a fake straight version of myself to make my muslim parents happy also of any of you got any suicide note tip i wouls be grateful if you could gave it to me :)",2.8283059104697093,4.623252984189727,4.157405092379818,86.21515718356468,75.48221343873517,6.999466862763121,25.206177038330733,7.82057824672937,1.3530696387535612,1974,68,401,29,43,650,236,506,0.146,0.75,0.104,-0.9842,5,0,1,0,1,1,13.0,0,6,2,7,25,22,2,3,21,0,33,5,1,8,5,69,81,42,2,8,12,6,3,1,0,5,1,9,2,2,29,21,0,3,12,1,0,11,6,10,2,1,36,12,70,12,71,37,6,53,1,3,0,3,48,22,1,8,19,282,99,20,0.0,0.08944764871985046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692057937719201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074451393963764,0.06281677730978613,0.0,0.0,0.10267656256194056,0.0,0.057752447419234625,0.0,0.07486943035421202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092878377164075,0.0,0.06303405726212084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505550881221939,0.0,0.06676801214580416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510558016910286,0.0,0.1300622162051478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060275548870946924,0.0,0.0829262465661917,0.0,0.15566130828664845,0.06502258341350828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492021243996338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972570803851988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03817186557260356,0.0,0.14497151560229127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277490751708078,0.0,0.0,0.07888464860281215,0.0,0.08580957963293606,0.063320504790573,0.12075836144502665,0.0,0.0,0.07475059787356182,0.0,0.08036441064998216,0.0,0.07453436511098474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946035702320379,0.10120362520005392,0.0,0.07572630180422596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309222688636654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041489344190796494,0.0615374133313203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03688239159710413,0.0,0.0,0.13361903651811902,0.0,0.0,0.08241025377095923,0.0,0.1362719610413829,0.0,0.15117782367873006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607985845453437,0.08008684885694799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05822536881700108,0.0,0.0,0.07084569092556123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353071255513081,0.0,0.0,0.0523378020706897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510776464144365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589198524815763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592831892686005,0.1934527008027554,0.07762006151497937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872470548000993,0.06003559284434825,0.0,0.07640361983030701,0.0,0.0687265976643257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058118711935339025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631160846826312,0.0,0.0,0.08642218521694021,0.0825778168634617,0.08566931689034499,0.0,0.07846682439071959,0.05676184110129854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030927357422503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885497301159564,0.3355049602627856,0.0,0.0,0.07374634146716756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905623968890215,0.1198467153560128,0.060556464700804925,0.0,0.13575574329387022,0.06998338419292566,0.0681212907627023,0.08428598141915394,0.0,0.0,0.08186965981543046,0.0,0.0,0.0769344946781549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723089076064442
mentalhealth,pittielove31,2019/01/04,"Posted on my social media tonight about the struggles with my mental health. The post was by no means a cry for help. Basically it was a “life is good. I wish I could have told myself this 3 years ago because mental health struggles are real, important, etc”. My therapist suggested that I share my story because I’m always talking about how I want to help and want to help spread awareness. So, I did. I was really pleased with it and proud of myself. It was about 2 paragraphs long and very heart felt. I received an overwhelmingly positive response. 

My not so tech savvy aunt texted me “Are you okay?” with a screen shot from a family group text where a different aunt had taken a screenshot of my post and sent it to the family with a “OH MY HELL 🙄 Read this”. 

It hurt. It hurt a lot. Honestly, said aunts were major players in my digression. When I was spiraling, it was similar shit that aided me in reaching a point where I didn’t want to live anymore. 

I’m not quite sure what the eye roll is for. Does she want to read that I tried to take my own life a year ago? That I was hospitalized and that I’m still on so many meds that I struggle to cry, even when I want to, because I’m so numb? I’m just ranting, but really don’t know where to go from here. Only my family could turn something like that into something to gossip about. ",2.4836691542288527,4.4327403022388046,3.691119402985077,88.48814676616917,76.94776119402985,7.003980099502488,23.106965174129357,7.9370924344782425,1.1204248756218904,1043,32,217,17,24,339,147,268,0.105,0.768,0.126,-0.1425,1,0,2,0,0,1,28.0,0,1,0,2,18,17,2,4,15,1,19,8,3,1,1,29,40,13,0,8,4,3,1,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,17,10,0,0,3,2,0,3,5,10,0,0,16,4,29,7,30,22,4,24,1,3,2,0,18,9,2,1,10,136,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972015727090453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796561642434157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949397899178281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507085397752026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286740983377978,0.0,0.21031281767259585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000189006453931,0.0,0.0,0.08377516230108574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067657769944933,0.06322966346738798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707410320708936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191712271773922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05440634064360668,0.08029492669927364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20351592798088092,0.0,0.11344212800303542,0.1925001473223148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049648115773876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052611454403580615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352357878875527,0.04676950917523765,0.0,0.0845325488392046,0.08471924519817815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138738281377521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970565780926769,0.0,0.10427952068219223,0.10633596500130396,0.0,0.1929493985590405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280801661387676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508429076330553,0.09049708267732197,0.0,0.2750525541373049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182209007976883,0.19151454177330973,0.1089632512002847,0.1226559270342892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106245001536216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826687008556942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758607049488498,0.0,0.14739736299130088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764511914466326,0.0,0.0,0.30023762342495114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902256782200158,0.0,0.0719780722787782,0.07694524464176906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115149281789362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147542137174047,0.0,0.06499531260504511,0.10412823475299654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898840161090936,0.28232419583450363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008634482588424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329572027817025
mentalhealth,matthewfromsky,2019/01/04,"I’m freaking out Yet again. A night without sleep. At work people said I looked gaunt, I realised that I’m wearing my belt a notch tighter, and my watch moves freely up my wrist now, haven’t had to adjust the thing for about a year, yet in the Space of  2 weeks I drop. I can’t drop off. Every time I try to I’m jolted awake by a childhood memory, an unpleasant image or just genuine anger. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’d give anything for a nights sleep. I’ve tried meditation, hypnosis, drinking, relaxation, breathing exercises, I’ve even been researching the safest sleeping pills to buy online. I feel weak, I feel alone, I feel helpless. 

I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I meant to be at college on Tuesday, but I have a feeling I won’t be in any shape for it. ",3.123674948240165,4.271629229813666,4.154301242236027,89.17484730848862,73.47204968944101,7.1057971014492765,26.46014492753623,7.492282038375204,1.2000057971014495,610,21,133,7,12,198,109,161,0.118,0.815,0.067,-0.631,0,1,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,8,7,1,0,10,0,10,10,6,1,0,16,25,4,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,2,1,0,8,3,1,1,5,5,0,0,4,8,18,2,19,18,1,24,0,2,2,0,2,10,0,1,12,72,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170368606819694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118631573252525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353664782435847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114379643196802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864828632099376,0.0,0.13859526769220687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41587148005374747,0.11751622373743265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779988588097835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040289080065016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036460650442044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813550268955455,0.18402933665385368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609441864208704,0.0,0.0,0.17483358494983714,0.12092374282658384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30873735824731874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140410555438999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564736960439964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938454352902934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236807817237768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928406416260976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959191432477372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22336444466694394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319490479397524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585686092149431,0.0,0.11975530034165766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593025475965878
mentalhealth,OmaniaJT,2019/01/04,"The Outcasts, for everyone, and the outcasted. Where you'll always be accepted. Welcome to The Outcasts! A new Mental Health, Support Discord Server! Our motto is The Outcasts, for everyone, and the outcasted. Where you'll always be accepted.

​

We are currently a small community, but we are always looking to expand! Currently we do movie nights, game night, and host public talk shows, and we take all suggestions into consideration! We offer Peer-to-Peer Support and advice and are always looking for new people to offer that support! We are also Dedicated to helping out others and supporting people through their times of need. We believe that everyone deserves a home and everyone deserves support and help. We believe that no moment is wasted, and every life matters. 

​

This place was founded with people who are considered Outcasts in mind, because this place is where you can be yourself without all the judgement and ridicule. A place where you can love what you want and be who you are and embrace it without other people out casting you. A place where people are kind and supportive of each other, no matter who that person is or what their background is, kind of like a family.

​

Threats are not tolerated and privacy will not be leaked by others without serious punishment, the only time this is okay is if you consent to it. This means that you can post your private life if you would like to. As long as it follows the rules!

​

We are a privately owned Mental Health discord server, and we are here to help as many people we can and support all.

​

We are always open to partnerships from other people! We have many self assignable roles and things you can choose from to define yourself!

​

So why not give the server a shot today? We're here to help you in all your rough times. Here is the Discord Link: [https://discord.gg/rkmFuUN](https://discord.gg/rkmFuUN)",7.189074626865673,9.354436922388057,6.543462686567164,72.01608955223881,64.8507462686567,8.4644776119403,33.997014925373136,8.954980946260402,3.2936292537313445,1559,69,230,26,25,480,150,335,0.067,0.711,0.222,0.9954,2,0,0,0,0,0,79.0,14,14,2,0,10,20,3,0,18,1,36,5,0,0,4,64,53,27,0,5,10,0,1,2,0,4,4,0,1,2,23,37,0,0,7,2,0,1,8,4,0,0,2,3,30,16,32,42,6,30,0,0,2,1,49,16,0,3,14,180,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05172121434724559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04232698147892618,0.22020417185052005,0.3440886892661774,0.3858842464817616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03226478267057638,0.0,0.0,0.1192648122456389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459462742945158,0.20230217810927545,0.0,0.0,0.049896372590360415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058033476852568634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05077393504444954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252125131828536,0.0,0.0,0.141907696827844,0.0,0.05309170030760018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023398192353387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477006948346165,0.05171647986622602,0.0,0.0,0.04684014452832008,0.08889338546394064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777012704675826,0.0,0.0,0.10732258378012396,0.0,0.05765476083588698,0.0,0.0,0.10667915765793726,0.0,0.053442796718749117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039245885485227915,0.0,0.10223754142094822,0.0,0.0993398093156284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040254584575638484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568581833872601,0.04621521107504111,0.22119648260958044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069096700337457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521607203099888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204392282037524,0.0,0.0,0.03979571938490715,0.04254200295761032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035163409302913014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258927511113478,0.0,0.050170123051079984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031218659009049507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04775982805935007,0.0,0.0,0.1530638419556436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03759895811720907,0.0,0.3858842464817616,0.0
mentalhealth,masterofyeet69,2019/01/04,"intrusive thoughts reeeee I'm doing this on a throwaway cause it's kind of embarrassing, but I suffer from this thing where I'm afraid to do things that are ""sinful?"" I guess?   

So, I'm afraid to say Jesus Christ or God Damn stuff like that out loud AND IN MY HEAD (I know that's weird but idk lol). 
  
But the thing is, I'm not even religious. I consider myself an atheist, which makes me super confused. I think it's because my mind is always like, ""Oh, what if?"" and ""How would you explain this?"" Honestly this just makes everything 10x worse because I think I'm crazy, and I can't tell if they are intrusive thoughts or not (which I do suffer from). So I'm always doubting my religious beliefs. 

But anyway, I just now said to myself these things out loud to try and get rid of these fears. I said (((btw sorry if u are religious, nothing against that this just helped me))) Jesus Christ out loud and stuff like that. I said some kind of cringy stuff that I won't type lmao, but anyways I'm not gonna lie I was scared that my whole family was gonna die right then, and that I was gonna die right there of a blood clot or something, idk I'm still kind of scared, but I think it kind of helped. 
  
On treating intrusive thoughts I've read to not ignore them or make them go away but to acknowledge them and then don't give them attention, which I'm not really doing so this might end up making it worse idk. 

anyways just wanted to vent because my mind is very annoying and I just want to be normal lol. Does this even sound like intrusive thoughts?? I've read about something like this and my googling can't find anything.  ",2.090150405699582,4.183631533742332,2.736443696813776,94.1740124678409,78.75460122699386,6.1696417969523045,21.559073817534138,7.233258080335977,0.4967937067088859,1264,36,276,16,31,393,149,326,0.199,0.7020000000000001,0.099,-0.9894,0,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,0,1,5,1,19,27,2,8,4,2,20,2,2,6,0,67,54,29,2,7,24,0,0,5,0,6,0,8,0,0,33,12,0,1,13,2,0,1,9,15,0,0,10,8,32,12,26,37,2,17,6,2,0,0,15,11,1,12,10,165,65,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460923713777951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224158621486579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247919317032174,0.0,0.0,0.16054323265274326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901818868750802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221901348375152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682338359731485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775361845105548,0.0,0.0,0.11596555728120188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889769385752468,0.0,0.08275818906628214,0.09878528055845948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023613316563193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045865316055833084,0.08421371530441614,0.049891627334224906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670776651257457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009524394516573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768414610472318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656684541961831,0.04824568323404526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444255345721075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23439520148193616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931286048628911,0.17728058556046536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601305581628894,0.0842344198994381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562240051815778,0.0,0.056238884379441766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14993999456604726,0.2505178863288509,0.06981209878412724,0.17578109163433264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516612617969956,0.0,0.09827085599191966,0.0,0.0,0.07010716596248591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014868603270475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673009520827914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23328830728410424,0.16875194772180765,0.0,0.27877369747617115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596019117735575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243383492215577,0.10355861761244917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801154585425276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789258101041267,0.062361681281022686,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nicoboato,2019/01/04,"I want myself back To make a very long story short I am a 21yr old male and in 2015 when I was 16-17 i tried to commit suicide from an overdose
I was dating someone at the time when this happened. her and I had a good relationship it had nothing to do with her but because of other factors in my life I felt I had no other option but to end it all..
I was sent to hospital and from hospital I was sent to a psych ward where I spent the next month and a half doped on a ton of different meds which made me feel so numb and groggy. 
Just after the stay I broke things off with the her because I didn't want to be around anyone I didn't want to be here I didn't want to be responsible for anything. I just wanted to mess up my life and my health in any possible way I could.
From that one failed attempt my life took a massive turn, they didn't let me leave the hospital and they convinced me it would be a good idea to live in a mental health recovery home for youths. They were worried about me developing psychosis /schizophrenia because of the psychotic features I was showing. so I went with them...
I completly abandoned those that I knew and because of all the meds I actually some how forgot about everything..? I knew but I didn't at the same time.. I was still the same person as I was before all this, I had confidence and was a fun person to be around.. I was hospitalized a few time after the initial ones for small things but overall I was okay..

in mid 2016 a friend and I were kicked out of the res for  excessive drug use with multiple warnings (out of all places huh)  everything went to shit from here , i was homeless for awhile until a family let me stay with them. My mental health started to get really bad and memories flooded back in of that night.
i ended up having a psychotic break or as I'd prefer to call it a spiritual psychosis which lasted over 4 months. from then on I've turned into this timid and scared person. From that episode I'm polar opposite of who I used to be I've lost myself and haven't found him yet. Not like I want all of his attributes back but I want myself back at least. The hallucinating and evil spirits took something of me and the flashes of what happened that night really hurt me. I remember her crying on the phone yelling why did I do this. All I could say in a calm voice is I'm wanting to see my (dead) uncle that's all I was saying I don't think I understood what was really happening and then I realised that it was our anniversary together that night (I would have know then but I have no memory of that month leading up to the night) 
It made me feel so extremely guilty and I really started to hate myself alot... How could anyone do all of this and not care better yet how could I forget about something as big as this?
Shit after shit kept coming at me but I was determined to get better, and to help myself out of the rut. 

2018-2019 I've been doing positive things with my life. I don't do drugs, I am studying and I am part time working as well.. but because of my low self worth I feel I am unworthy of happiness and love. I'm scared I could do the same to the new girl I'm interested in. So I back off and it hurts me but I can't stop myself from doing it. This person is super caring and a very lovely person but I keep backing away. 
I've tried so many times to learn to love myself again, to stop self destructive habits to let go of the past. Slowly I've been stopping all the bad coping habits but I just can't let go of what I did. What I put people through. 
I feel like a horrible person. I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. I can barely let people in and I want to. I want to trust, I want to love myself but it's like life is stopping me from going any further.

I just want to know if anyone has been through something similar. Any advice or If anyone can help me out on letting go or tips on moving forward.
I don't want to be like this 

",2.077726061528878,3.808784933660936,3.6095231338893328,89.60413624251656,77.42751842751844,6.698937605979857,22.27559954320517,7.57490069310545,0.7988291379727994,3072,88,664,43,71,1016,312,814,0.171,0.6990000000000001,0.13,-0.9936,1,0,5,0,1,2,65.0,1,0,5,8,33,46,7,3,41,2,79,19,3,10,10,134,148,60,2,23,23,0,6,5,1,2,12,4,1,10,39,39,0,8,17,1,2,15,15,21,1,3,49,11,108,25,116,79,18,107,1,7,1,4,37,42,4,8,53,479,147,5,0.0,0.0,0.04586727241795162,0.0,0.0,0.045929911094557685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588912548425928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145985315485487,0.0,0.03867872595120927,0.08368367343431178,0.0,0.0,0.04416002300701493,0.216850295759315,0.07848958549416735,0.14326022873278865,0.0,0.0399953278061799,0.0,0.0,0.08313908108121952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799440233912822,0.0,0.0958435531207772,0.0,0.0,0.04048814990578693,0.04928081076973705,0.0,0.0,0.18763677334939136,0.0,0.05162960312471331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049107193773902325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901503465880784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325982463448185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448491897232556,0.0,0.04430939965233482,0.0,0.11882837772419487,0.06715662358567072,0.04512938981845814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05153537994005933,0.03631370820369376,0.0,0.04911331778105702,0.0,0.10684951325297706,0.0788462680361231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246914134356908,0.050034612671130435,0.0,0.0464048458621723,0.0,0.1498831127958364,0.0,0.0,0.063009037792279,0.0,0.047146941651744864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063344681869148,0.053059653200073296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041777628785189605,0.0,0.0,0.05166225322318541,0.03831298725285375,0.0,0.04976844053601657,0.0,0.28837700900050145,0.19919385230514305,0.1148142668514966,0.0,0.0415037180899057,0.041595382107584726,0.0,0.0,0.051308347740125285,0.0,0.1696849322603098,0.0889490526919479,0.03137426874678964,0.04765275519601004,0.0,0.0,0.10441748119123023,0.0,0.0947341296740512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254989062604903,0.04995579708569909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04539492399060796,0.049987269794783636,0.1764331587183668,0.0,0.045099785506634,0.0,0.04932080052043509,0.0,0.06369968286804469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050898697255043666,0.044868825736592316,0.06517068024229528,0.2462425404370922,0.049107193773902325,0.0,0.0,0.052987808965426784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047250095608528615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044300302290716,0.0,0.0,0.05046266860330244,0.053244220215424215,0.0,0.0,0.07475591770420884,0.0941146094232586,0.0,0.037454590728479134,0.0,0.09806688846660963,0.0,0.14474094995171932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039824729365862066,0.1085535456719114,0.0,0.0,0.06653666087979973,0.10019597599262234,0.0375359401912044,0.15718345097647635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05141267195980822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367832620215807,0.030117049756960487,0.0,0.0,0.13703652127515692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444213178582687,0.06382268531039527,0.10224958219604904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118945181739871,0.0,0.07756331490884885,0.360399755909697,0.03730808161377746,0.0,0.0,0.04226053534551565,0.08714284079699712,0.042412087270996775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0342180907948623,0.047732917158704584,0.0,0.06677789086610561,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SlimeyRod,2019/01/04,"How do I help my girlfriend while she's having an anxiety attack? We have been dating for about 2 months, and she has anxiety attacks relatively frequently. I have Asperger's syndrome, and minimal experience with this so I am terrible at helping her through them. So bad, in fact, that the last time she had one she told me I didn't make her feel safe. During that time, I was quietly telling her to breathe and that everything would be okay. She has a lot of trouble communicating how I can help her better so I was hoping I could find more help on here.",4.508888888888889,5.962494148148147,5.517592592592597,79.5491666666667,70.48148148148148,9.474074074074073,31.092592592592588,9.827888789773867,3.030903703703704,440,19,86,11,8,145,79,108,0.16,0.665,0.175,0.204,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,1,1,7,9,2,0,3,1,16,1,1,3,1,16,20,9,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,6,2,21,4,9,11,2,10,0,0,0,0,18,3,0,2,7,66,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937092893976976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4367815862266322,0.0,0.0,0.1602848796339084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16977969140845173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327046227521268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252804920680848,0.18778109240772986,0.0,0.0,0.09706455754964097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17545485620862594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5146871893792494,0.0,0.0,0.19066708472777724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647916883687646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632039399477092,0.0,0.0,0.12813982537988478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322666107634025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008217506743494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778809359932306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238756357776438,0.0,0.0,0.18343321360271211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636823448985338,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DoTy_,2019/01/04,"Death of a Friend and how to find out where someone is buried? Not sure if this is the right sub or not but I just found out one of my old friends from high school whom I had lost contact with died a few years ago.  I had no idea and aside from the confusion and guilt I’m feeling for losing contact with him, I want to know if there’s a way I can find out where his grave is? I don’t know anyone who would know, but maybe there’s a website that I can enter his name in or something? Any help would be appreciated thanks.",3.6437500000000007,3.664450875000004,4.030357142857145,94.66464285714287,71.5,7.114285714285713,24.035714285714285,6.18269132825596,0.23912857142857197,406,9,101,2,7,127,76,112,0.211,0.625,0.16399999999999998,-0.7245,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,6,9,0,2,6,0,11,0,0,1,1,32,20,10,3,5,9,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,8,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,4,1,11,4,13,13,1,13,0,3,0,0,11,8,0,5,3,65,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652259174866109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675345470372612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033013747443425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344623623339108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424576968857737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407191746693701,0.0,0.0,0.20437001841081348,0.2880131367144533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493512445850882,0.1969341632086036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21041471536607967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30730972551226204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085257983545688,0.20346969372252485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18725655995750792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955878257251823,0.0,0.1263045443309706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917838130675294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886394036520129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792996351580846,0.1434942373784834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17567295133905084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160539209976355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993926716899716,0.14794988093903735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648161088870317,0.0,0.0,0.12003081326760925
mentalhealth,JaspurTV,2019/01/04,"If there’s something I’m passionate about but I know it’s a phase what do I do? Listen, I started playing guitar and I love it but I’m almost certain it’s just a phase and well I don’t want it to be a phase so what should I do? Should I just let it pass or is there something I can do?",-2.5440298507462664,-0.8220835373134321,0.584194029850746,102.8076343283582,100.7910447761194,3.2770149253731344,15.655223880597012,4.935628992294339,-1.13520776119403,221,6,58,1,10,77,36,67,0.0,0.721,0.279,0.9437,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,11,2,0,0,1,14,18,7,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,8,5,2,14,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,43,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733664182623544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049146469905457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3812756207402318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33652159772748025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5740932074032178,0.0,0.0,0.2639129253076186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199230702977096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33524680561440945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bluejayhope,2019/01/04,"I know usually people post on this sub about negative stuff and usually I do too but today was amazing! I felt a lot of anxiety today but it came to good things. First, my drivers test. I was crying, panicking about it. BUT GUESS WHAT. I PASSED. Then I went downtown with my friends and one of them was my crush and then afterwards we were at my house playing truth or dare and someone dared him to text his crush and he TEXTED ME. Then someone dared me to say my crush and I said him and I haven’t felt any depression today! And they only Anxiety I felt cake out good! I FEEL AMAZING. I know I’ll dip again. But I want to savor this and be able to look back on this post and smile. IT GETS BETTER <3333",-0.14458456486042692,2.1764740620689658,1.4256157635467983,97.13977011494256,94.58620689655173,4.9688013136289015,18.62889983579639,6.655083550727371,0.116372742200328,549,17,122,8,21,176,86,145,0.14400000000000002,0.633,0.223,0.9573,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,2,2,5,9,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,29,20,18,0,1,5,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,9,14,0,0,6,1,0,3,2,1,0,2,10,8,25,8,14,9,1,21,0,1,1,0,10,4,0,3,12,81,34,1,0.13858442272680194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424215971657456,0.0,0.21203340812751564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065628667710112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256665995819915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850366028799262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152228480942231,0.0,0.0,0.11936256022485064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007244812666484,0.0,0.3991883362720591,0.0,0.0,0.1178798391755326,0.0,0.0,0.10706998122520296,0.0,0.07240464101364223,0.0,0.0,0.2324760773796797,0.0,0.0,0.15266636577954154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990781712596455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523247488697806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637601171176247,0.0,0.0,0.11781952037647216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939083914327314,0.10539969833699177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960769893126267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654511373991165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182552152666735,0.11020789532378704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23484426330593866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158646007989544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206933252691296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940854854813552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30526232514760804,0.0,0.08174068312284996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128469148285664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CoffeeBean_9313,2019/01/04,"Went to the gym for the first time in 4 years And I feel phenomenal. I ran longer, pushed harder, lifted more than I thought I’d be able to. I came as a guest but I may become a member really soon. 2019 is looking like it might just be the year I get better. I felt so shitty about myself for so long and deal with depression and anxiety, but when I’m running all I’m focused on is the music and my body. No negative thoughts. I didn’t even wonder if people were watching which is a big thing to me. ",1.1103773584905667,2.930416641509435,3.12701886792453,91.52316981132078,80.69811320754717,6.1267924528301885,20.033962264150947,7.1686216300943375,0.3497728301886798,388,10,87,5,10,131,79,106,0.18,0.727,0.093,-0.8954,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,7,0,9,1,1,0,1,18,21,11,0,1,4,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,1,0,5,3,1,0,1,8,4,11,2,11,9,2,15,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,4,8,59,14,0,0.21675640612007271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581805739348227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23939042087368145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170342669069865,0.0,0.2407675029654873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24791158403589936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234663369679414,0.18669197497494536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431655619639547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959855173559586,0.0,0.2081201418189129,0.0,0.0,0.18437288831567245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324627590699544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589623124128633,0.0,0.0,0.19182259848994715,0.18202078964500107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22994429316257245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15027159982688318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388597041255077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400332475857688,0.0,0.0,0.3441607490676468,0.1263924035174581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093536006281434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350630762279793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27916803780679683
mentalhealth,Neutrinosandgluons,2019/01/04,"I need this “illness” to end now I can’t take this. I have severe headaches and extremely garbled/slow/stilted thoughts that no one can seem to figure out. Imagine if you couldn’t say a single phrase in your head without each word fucking stopping. Wouldn’t you get severely depressed? I’m not able to think anymore. 

I will not live this way for another month. I will end it if there is no fix. ",2.285,4.684007179487182,2.7355769230769242,92.81567307692309,79.76923076923076,5.438461538461539,27.698717948717945,6.6274283507984215,1.1862256410256404,312,14,63,3,8,96,61,78,0.233,0.767,0.0,-0.9422,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,8,3,1,0,0,18,16,3,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,1,1,8,0,7,11,2,8,0,1,0,1,4,2,1,3,5,41,13,0,0.2132003389722544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22355914469240967,0.0,0.0,0.21143744762043265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836291395512857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776644382323895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971002779153562,0.11138837759351927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188050560848156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18825980532378095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017447651777334,0.0,0.0,0.15808534989624065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447006735574044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954546678575566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19408958135560206,0.0,0.4817113959497223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782450298600389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030012179757344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366101685610425,0.0,0.16925725443501066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692285054172465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205517518697415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alyriaaa,2019/01/04,"attention seeking self harm???? I want to know why I used to do this & if anyone else can relate. I’ve tried googling this but have yet to find something to relate to. When I was younger I used to purposely injure myself in order to gain attention or sympathy from authority figures. I’ve tripped myself downstairs, purposely slid down on my knees down a large asphalt hill, I remember being in class in 6th grade & trying to cut myself with a compass protractor. I’ve attempted to give myself a black eye or fat lip as well. I even used to get excited about being hurt if it was unintentional. I was excited to be consoled. I grew up with a pretty narcissistic mother & a father who emotionally neglected me. I’m just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar. Feels like I’m pretty alone on this. ",4.992655913978492,6.8315492064516175,6.119758064516135,74.19297043010755,69.83870967741936,9.553763440860212,31.626344086021504,9.928628108626363,3.4496344086021518,657,29,113,17,12,219,98,155,0.085,0.726,0.189,0.9498,0,1,2,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,1,0,5,0,10,5,4,3,0,22,22,8,0,4,7,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,2,1,1,8,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,4,3,14,4,25,15,0,15,0,2,2,0,5,8,0,6,3,70,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050660030396062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4723590460229162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032207692546996,0.2977928626886978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24279066194033136,0.16346425284425944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598179211696067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347762453972308,0.10381588278173344,0.0,0.0,0.1328188823358646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592315053296046,0.13940317289460633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556693533771168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986349132065111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709954957989813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956832187358384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461803555796128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159935169806815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22374724579257144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973240482689547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765267294402832,0.0,0.0,0.0857128783807359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065918295092732,0.0,0.13112774423620466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759219610766206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,princeyes,2019/01/04,"spending money i spent a large amount of money in one shopping trip at the mall and when i got home i had a panic attack. I’ve been trying to save my money to buy drugs. Initially I wanted to get rid of the money before I could buy more drugs, because i’m trying really hard to quit everything, but I immediately regretted it when i got home. I know i have other things to pay for but a huge bulk of my income goes to substances. i smoke, insufflate and do all sorts of things that aren’t good for me. But a part of me doesn’t want to stop. i keep jumping in between trying to quit, then failing and continuing . every time i spend money i go into this cycle of “great now i can’t get [insert drug]” and it makes me into a nervous wreck. I take Buspar 3 times a day and am in therapy. Any advice? ",1.609779116465866,3.3802735120481984,3.938048192771088,86.53968273092373,78.93975903614458,6.354377510040162,20.10281124497992,7.3011,0.5387201606425704,617,15,129,8,15,214,102,166,0.147,0.7559999999999999,0.097,-0.7428,2,0,4,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,3,8,1,2,8,0,9,3,0,1,1,21,22,11,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,7,7,0,2,1,2,12,3,3,5,0,1,5,1,20,3,23,16,4,19,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,1,9,83,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830442753093278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624730588047144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610142407906883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627721434969883,0.0,0.12043417425210624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300259853938158,0.0,0.0,0.09127708812827824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4924001027253592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924767226417587,0.0,0.12720075082890006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478903210996796,0.0,0.08043647598178591,0.11871118083852132,0.2263937681905261,0.15604065243247942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678578456116574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839383146879857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580104979606885,0.0,0.0,0.07778284549997072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944743887984694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590643616563402,0.0,0.0,0.16605850209048087,0.0,0.15326646662643328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010755734066817,0.0,0.0,0.09066967574189028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832794080464652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641521582921493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185534125595946,0.0,0.18805649693467613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650580824053614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28827488705024984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695968248316764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NavoSix,2019/01/04,"Mother acting strange My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia before I was born and growing up, I've learned to recognize when she'll start ""acting up"". Her latest episode was around November of 2017. Her doctor had decided to lower her medication dose, and, within a month, had divorced from my father, got him kicked out the house, and had gotten herself into financial trouble (I attended a residential school at the time, so I learned of this when I came home for Thanksgiving break). She didn't take care of herself, clean in anyway, had huge mood swings, and became very aggressive whenever I asked her if something was wrong. She often spoke to herself, laughed for no apparent reason, then cried minutes later. Luckily, her dose was returned to the original amount and she stabilized. 
Now, almost exactly a year later, she's showing some signs of another episode. She seemed completely fine, then my sister slept her for a few nights, and she became aggressive toward my father and I, laughing out of no where, then crying minutes later. 
Her symptoms alone are not problematic, but she is very important to us, financially and because she's family, so this is of great concern. We asked if she was taking her meds, she says she is, but this seems to trigger her aggressiveness. 
Any advice is appreciated.",7.6994805194805185,9.029993406926408,7.375307359307362,69.61438961038964,62.98268398268397,10.48900432900433,35.746320346320346,10.504223727775694,4.139706839826841,1051,47,162,25,15,332,141,231,0.097,0.7859999999999999,0.117,0.8352,2,1,1,0,1,0,39.0,2,0,0,0,9,11,3,0,7,0,17,7,1,3,1,33,30,19,0,2,5,5,0,0,0,1,6,2,2,0,3,15,0,0,6,1,0,5,4,5,0,0,16,2,37,5,27,13,3,36,0,0,0,0,37,12,0,7,18,118,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445646571441792,0.0,0.0,0.1480290595003095,0.1531059196386104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005285650664928,0.15501125023089704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159885806694505,0.2763997026575697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901149853200126,0.0,0.12579131033099095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907661681841074,0.15072118163734138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499554825353826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32476570565440915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15004298858750642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130890809124506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935971394602556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823209204657645,0.1629816308890501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482842095259782,0.0,0.0,0.1705744376713511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642043271173905,0.14892183296440922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799543426730645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872719288970162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199249390076788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175592920325452,0.0,0.14961050654170702,0.0,0.26915533877281617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380573265389335,0.0,0.0,0.104633893709774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365059103074116,0.22229752512423687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862000864597948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781968870925835,0.0,0.0,0.2439482697399422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162744444183533,0.0,0.09519681692117377
mentalhealth,gonnadeletesoon99999,2019/01/04,"Seeking Psychological Help So I went through some kinda tuff stuff in my life and as a result it has affected me in various ways. Im constantly between feeling sad or mad and I hate that feeling and want to get better mentally. The only issue is I don't know where to start, I don't know if I'm too young to go to therapy, I'm 15 but I feel I should get these problems resolved before they haunt me in the future. Another issue I have is that I don't know if I will have the time to go to therapy. School is really hard for me and I will be dping homework from the second I get home until around 2 am. Unfortunately there are even more issues, these being that my mom doesn't take me seriously when I talk to her about how I feel and shrugs it of as teenage hormones and it leaves me feeling like theres no one I can talk to. This also results in her not really wanting me to go to therapy because she doesn't see that there's much of an issue. Lastly is a money problem. I dont have much money and I've heard that therapy is really expensive and from what I've seen it's way too much and I can't afford it. At the moment I dont know if my school offers any form of therapy or if they can refer me to a therapist that won't charge as much as others and still get a good therapist.

Thank you so much for any help and information you can give

Ps I don't know what's the difference between a therapist and a psychologist which would you say is better for someone who is in my situation?
 (Rulessay I should give the area I'min so that would be Ontario Canada around the GTA )✌",2.8583132530120494,4.002969024096386,4.836790361445787,84.03833012048194,74.12048192771084,8.20356626506024,25.328192771084343,8.726425361277474,1.6770726265060238,1244,40,267,24,25,429,163,332,0.08199999999999999,0.8220000000000001,0.096,0.3373,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,3,2,3,17,12,2,0,15,0,35,1,0,4,0,49,66,30,0,12,8,1,6,1,0,7,1,2,2,0,21,14,0,0,13,0,3,4,12,6,0,2,3,10,38,6,36,53,9,26,0,1,2,0,20,10,0,8,11,191,59,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06302017721527786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071799447839738,0.08263371326176393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030597504221648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480386800727689,0.0,0.06705708813540558,0.0,0.0,0.1393928989550258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516000251226499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233425256412552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847172982737966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052049833060311405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19923039602659232,0.05629817123245012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468904043124968,0.15119350696015635,0.1343597668861267,0.06609773484628327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059362994292254,0.07780343379030341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564240455884186,0.0,0.07904764868978954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512271659771918,0.3290069854866768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21654531027030952,0.06423643720075498,0.0,0.0834429141213261,0.0,0.0,0.05566216706939546,0.03850004904959499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941671229410724,0.0,0.0,0.09229523975929088,0.0,0.0,0.2896530097380623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340017800303967,0.05993460825802518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508111186131294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145313550384348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266874703999406,0.0,0.1595093476131514,0.06279722980960514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857990700879037,0.0,0.0,0.06677105885959632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577844935381317,0.0,0.06293362219318985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021265231852876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059251408922107285,0.12668064066020393,0.0,0.07255288028588996,0.4506008344885216,0.2744953710797329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045951717807887024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296223611660877,0.12510317850433605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305284737272406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119613504608663,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ekaj_rima,2019/01/04,"I have constant adrenaline. Should i see a therapist? I rarely worry about things, so it's probably not anxiety.
",3.0983333333333327,6.220433500000002,4.710000000000001,73.16833333333331,89.0,10.666666666666668,31.66666666666667,9.725611199111238,5.063166666666668,90,5,14,4,3,30,18,20,0.0,0.768,0.232,0.4449,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030726853270181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4281242825126892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271435084122107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315700072368476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4599895503746598,0.2632009747107075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023348035119059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mytrexfighter123,2019/01/04,"Im loosing all interest and i feel cornered I don't ask for pity, I just need help or advice. To give you backstory, I'm a high schooler, and over the summer, I moved 1,500 miles away from my friends. I knew it would be hard, but now I feel cornered. I'm an awkward kid, so conversations with people are incredibly challenging, so in the time I've been here, I've made no new friends, and lack the mental strength to bring myself to try. This move took so much out of me, that I can't seem to do anything anymore. I've lost interest in everything I once loved, including Art which according to family I have high potential. I've lost interest in soccer and cross country, everything I once loved is fading away. I used to use art and drawing as a creative outlet to get everything in my head out, but now, I can't seem to bring myself to draw. Everytime I pick up the pencil, it hurts. Everytime I try to do anything I once loved, I feel an unbearable amount of mental pain. My parents lack the understanding and even if they didn't, I can't seem to talk to them. I feel cornered because if I try to express my feelings through drawing, I begin to hurt inside, and if I don't, it sits with me and lingers around everywhere I go. Again, I don't ask for pity, I just need help because I feel trapped in my own head and I feel like one by one, I'm loosing all attachments. I've never in my life hurt so bad. I just need advice.",3.843350515463918,4.634414941580758,5.0068367697594525,85.08118298969073,71.40549828178696,8.569140893470793,29.67027491408935,8.841846274778883,2.1855606872852227,1112,44,237,20,20,368,142,291,0.16399999999999998,0.657,0.17800000000000002,0.6837,1,1,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,2,4,13,21,0,1,9,0,15,7,2,4,3,48,50,20,0,9,9,1,8,1,2,1,2,0,0,1,6,14,0,0,12,3,0,7,9,10,0,2,7,8,40,11,37,41,7,36,0,7,0,3,18,19,0,7,10,144,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245655397231813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751155685812177,0.0,0.0,0.14522997390203113,0.0785533740448296,0.16498721605695604,0.0,0.16581101965229966,0.0,0.0736777141217004,0.10758203000950413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828247876296558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23791649561331624,0.0,0.08318594779001587,0.0,0.3123218058483176,0.06303952916519577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634986067951224,0.0,0.046102383701718534,0.08464899732044287,0.05014950609008308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904678067231474,0.0,0.18112185255645769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829242935390273,0.18646333999099085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28339208109360703,0.0,0.09531563562564906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062327367435811576,0.04311019189064673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926513818643958,0.0,0.2389233778810867,0.08349595471007305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778527451699058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18757285635941207,0.06486743336573797,0.19628918966212547,0.06805705145220785,0.08522389846497211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28192198654693457,0.11958903832772907,0.0,0.09389485566624817,0.0,0.09798140724389083,0.0,0.0,0.06117533578216431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409944164412308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709249320780918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145415191162457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803921729907644,0.17972994250790067,0.0,0.0,0.0918621986484271,0.0,0.15242412564771132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626840149799065,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SereinNight23,2019/01/04,"Do you ""perform"" for your therapist? I recently started my first therapy and I’ve already grown attached to my therapist. Unfortunately, this means that I’m worried she might get bored or annoyed – which is why I have the urge to provide moments of success for her and make her feel good… I even have several ideas how that might be achieved.

Obviously, “performing” in this way is not a good idea and precisely the reason I’m in therapy. It would probably be best if I articulated those feelings to my therapist, but I’m not there yet. Whenever there is a chance of disappointing or angering her, I tread with caution. (It should be mentioned that my she is amazing and has never given me a reason to fear this reaction). 

What are your experiences with “performing” in sessions? How honest are you about your progress? How much do you hold back?",5.4180752688172005,7.3626325225806495,6.119758064516135,74.19297043010755,68.93548387096774,10.069892473118278,35.49731182795699,10.317481424215053,4.116989247311828,671,35,117,19,12,219,96,155,0.129,0.75,0.121,0.5434,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,6,0,8,9,10,2,1,5,0,18,0,0,6,3,31,28,11,0,3,6,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,1,2,21,5,14,20,2,12,0,1,0,0,12,3,0,5,7,91,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413702976402274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740298217775704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658238172766844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225533337924527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663089636961456,0.0,0.15717544423615262,0.1412497641129024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880917480657276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297546137798334,0.0,0.0,0.23430886154009645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153566362665556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323547423126424,0.0,0.0,0.15214918785904086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963504230117722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267865776523527,0.0,0.10772750411091833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059541745694233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872224140726484,0.13791417508738918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779523918888935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886409115953837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194656179476013,0.4865272466998551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108690918023446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603675648229326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184876159667809,0.0,0.099222524886768,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,denizaydar,2019/01/04,"Confused with what mental problem i have Hello,

I have been diagnosed with depression and I have been on the anti depressant sertraline for about 2 months. However, i am pretty sure i have more than depression, but i havent shared this with my doctor. 

I struggle to feel empathy or understand situations unless i am deeply emotionally involved. For example, my friend was explaining his childhood problem, and my other friend upon hearing this felt so bad and emotionally involved, whereas i didnt even blink an eye. However i knew exactly what words to use to make him feel like I had empathy and to make him feel like I understood. It sometimes feels like i can manipulate social emotions as if they are my own. I am not a sociopath- if i see someone hurt directly in front of me, or if i am properly made to understand the emotional extent of a situation then i can sympathise- other than that, absolutely nothing. 

Furthermore, I struggle to believe life is real. It’s as if i am convinced everything is a simulation or that I’m imagining what is going on, like my friends and family around my are just figments of my imagination. This affects my life negatively and it makes me struggle to take things seriously. 

I am also extremely suicidal- even tho I am on anti depressants, i dont even feel sad anymore, i just feel suicidal. I constantly think about dying, every hour of the day, i plan suicide constantly but im too LAZY to do it. And the fact that i know i most likely will pussy out in the last second due to natural human survival instincts. 

Does anyone know how i can just feel normal? Even typing all of this feels stupid because a big part of me is telling myself im wasting my time as ‘nothing is real anyway’. My ex researched into my disconnection with reality and it sounds like i have depersonalisation disorder (“Depersonalization disorder is marked by periods of feeling disconnected or detached from one's body and thoughts (depersonalization). The disorder is sometimes described as feeling like you are observing yourself from outside your body or like being in a dream.”) which makes complete sense, but i hate it so much and want to get rid of it. Anyone know how to? Or anyone have any input on if they think i might be suffering from anything else? Thanks alot",6.203142402545747,7.8595012195704115,7.148646778042959,68.68651829753385,66.63723150357995,10.550867143993637,35.685043754972156,10.650279960617883,4.345047669053301,1837,91,299,52,30,614,222,419,0.206,0.67,0.124,-0.9926,2,0,0,0,0,1,42.0,0,2,2,2,18,32,2,4,13,0,38,7,3,10,4,85,75,36,4,9,19,1,11,8,3,2,4,2,0,1,21,17,0,0,24,1,0,2,5,17,0,2,10,15,53,15,49,61,8,25,0,7,2,0,20,12,0,15,19,224,74,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05366728462137271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563662668525528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066554394848419,0.14077315313404018,0.0,0.05522523752246738,0.059741506842703726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603346407303112,0.0409092076573112,0.0,0.0,0.0756092024573974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908661178647675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036282641500526,0.1450426290478463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043279948022654995,0.0,0.2312045741549271,0.06811452896377186,0.06964886035876586,0.0,0.23073922275670594,0.0686892143357106,0.058727802485160574,0.0,0.07865160222484731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056061210603930205,0.3019557286653236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17730024438366546,0.0,0.0565424813964591,0.0,0.0603135134698926,0.0,0.06326467741892154,0.0,0.3393247953671528,0.19177159523837156,0.06443545413342272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554544092793685,0.0,0.03506184049852987,0.0,0.03813976290221627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625654211477021,0.0,0.0,0.07563706079110295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608914440184321,0.0,0.07184189585610011,0.0,0.14497912450448508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106445520773573,0.05470303814823462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480256942316104,0.2622897213663209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350044425594259,0.17918392098238306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763039221267493,0.07119236430374559,0.0,0.0,0.05356600465409895,0.0,0.04933305871847442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575286737696705,0.12878637057270112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0454749998866448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267283439065976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827428643722562,0.0,0.1284290775481395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277015570874808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05347742508107085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086733459781562,0.0,0.06840948218911759,0.056861493868025234,0.0,0.13274563146002236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104716405531336,0.0,0.22022005256015972,0.0,0.0632497229972668,0.0,0.05045784330275077,0.0,0.0586564879734988,0.06178522892917685,0.0,0.0,0.04458443832704729,0.08600186202628071,0.0,0.053277289663699205,0.03913197371712596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397263003880363,0.0,0.057960890006959816,0.0,0.0,0.0395828051043612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,champ_mc99,2019/01/04,"Is brooding about the past a symptom/indication of depression? I do this a lot, especially annoyed at myself for not doing things a certain way long ago. This usually makes me sad, lose motivation and makes me lose interest in the important things I should be doing. - I don't know if I have ""depression"" but I was diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder.",5.7970312500000025,7.887655890625003,7.102000000000004,66.94300000000003,68.21875,11.995,36.2375,11.602472056035307,5.2804725,283,15,46,11,5,96,49,64,0.234,0.67,0.096,-0.8340000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,1,8,1,0,5,0,9,2,1,3,1,12,12,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,8,2,6,9,1,7,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,37,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105303353686226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394036043124916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712688062526956,0.2187569164604724,0.0,0.0,0.24701436264593746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844884101239928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19073596270865534,0.0,0.4822425797643376,0.0,0.18323464493823316,0.0,0.0,0.28773392864722874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574636507342714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22401666230882333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863751507621637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373742211083183,0.0,0.0,0.17107651145051891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nissnpig5,2019/01/04,I think I am actually insanse My entire life I have not been able to make rational decisions. I keep doing things which feel right and the only option at the time but then have really bad consequances.  Ive wasted my entire life and other than my parents I feel like most people are going to abandon me. Ive had no family issues or any childhood trama so shoudnt be feeling this way but I am. ,1.7433333333333323,4.30468307692308,4.12846153846154,80.89987179487183,83.61538461538461,6.543589743589743,21.48717948717949,7.793537801064563,1.4195794871794871,312,10,55,6,9,108,59,78,0.189,0.748,0.063,-0.9143,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,11,2,0,1,0,16,18,7,0,0,4,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,5,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,3,12,1,4,15,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,3,4,41,16,0,0.2429079716074272,0.0,0.23704314039268864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651857503623241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20281801001944927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289920173756261,0.0,0.36846470703787737,0.17353350345165364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805019808090324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535328128858549,0.0,0.21590776611180035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34314616797697656,0.11867256517181128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214295725926947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847424582598627,0.0,0.0,0.2697205562496971,0.0,0.0,0.16840180254663722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561306662581256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074420805261348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137726283602666,0.15564562001203025,0.0,0.0,0.1416415916584532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928090414265685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,growlikeplants,2019/01/04,"My Plan to Better Manage My Anxiety/Depression 😊 Feel free to use if it helps you! Some notes and disclaimers:  Apps I wanted to use for myself in this specific order because my anxiety and depression was beginning to affect my relationship with my boyfriend. That is why confiding in others is at the end of the list. I am definitely not saying that’s right for everyone for some that’s the first thing they want to do and that is completely fine, but for me and my efforts to improve my relationship I decided to leave my mental health out of the relationship for a while. Also self-care seems pretty low on my list, however this is something that should be practiced throughout the process...up to y’all what is right for you. 

1. Identify thought distortions or anything immediate causing these feelings if there’s anything specific (for example: arguments, dwelling on specific fears, paranoia, etc.)

2. Remind myself that this is an unbalance, I am not alone in it (lots of people experience it), and I am loved.
   Who am I loved by?
       - ((Insert those you are loved by. Everyone and anyone))

3. Remind myself that I am secure in myself. I love myself and forgive myself for having these feelings, but I cannot let them control me. I owe it to myself and those who love me to remain strong and not let my emotions effect me too deeply.

4. Redirect my attention by:
-Drawing/Painting
-Working out
-Writing music/singing/practicing
-Taking a nap 
-Writing letters to people I care about or even myself
-Writing down my feeling then crunching it up
-Meditation (Calm App)
-Watching something funny
-Prayer
-Practicing self care aka taking long baths, painting nails, tweezing eyebrows, face masks, lotion
-Take a walk with My dog
-Hang out with or call a friend
-Be productive..clean, work, organize, or apply for scholarships 

5. Confide in loved ones, parents and friends. ",3.807274774774776,6.954411585585593,4.382275525525524,78.47161148648651,80.29129129129129,7.293963963963964,30.24692192192192,8.317959484511023,2.9799430030030023,1490,73,234,33,40,472,190,333,0.046,0.721,0.233,0.9973,3,1,2,0,0,0,71.0,0,4,2,9,5,21,0,2,10,0,21,8,1,6,0,51,44,21,0,5,11,1,4,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,24,16,0,2,10,2,3,2,4,4,0,2,2,6,42,18,43,37,4,25,0,2,1,6,29,16,0,10,6,173,66,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727518179202904,0.0,0.07510963283262677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185030572921637,0.0,0.0,0.06567265898386873,0.0,0.15458010751508114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725416495901212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830666456571727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590517385530056,0.0,0.19152009769822745,0.09648407862751328,0.0,0.0,0.0984757491343656,0.0,0.10534185067208464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179028617263602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105649950765017,0.08318728401188859,0.0,0.1047481965582585,0.0620347962019337,0.0,0.0,0.179493573462043,0.0,0.09187403590352622,0.0,0.10568870431648847,0.18995975645753596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989026407554836,0.0,0.0,0.14512827866872294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983501748869032,0.0,0.0,0.06295414078942654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945015896619573,0.0,0.1920838391988682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311828376188157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984938444066456,0.5086112797298824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465159199423318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364418413651929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042896039935718,0.0,0.0,0.13022779979093413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555274917276854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025122162000473,0.0,0.16041826941544074,0.0,0.07469078616163592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550333837914591,0.1959628942013283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461195699046986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21185365222408867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06239780559830679,0.0,0.0,0.07456381840798998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223743003913002,0.0,0.0,0.1107956170635096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475027097014184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675311231044446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throw3456765,2019/01/04,"Empty M 18

At rest I occasionally feel neutral, but there are days, weeks were I feel below neutral at rest, if I am doing nothing I feel unhappy.

I do not intend to harm myself in any way. I went to see the doctor because I was becoming very irritable and tired, but they checked if I was suicidal, I said no and I was not and am not. They asked if life was good overall, I said yes. I do not know if life is good overall. It is starting to feel as if overall the low overrides the high. The doctor tested me for apnoea, which I do not have. The doctor discharged me.

I have no one I can speak to. I do not trust my relatives. I have no friends, only some people I talk to occasionally, who I try to connect with but they seem to want little to do with me. I try to talk with people but it seems like I am talking at them. Really I think what I want is a friend, but I can't bring myself to approach new people, I am very nervous around people I do not know and I have nothing to say to them or any way to relate to them.

I would like to be happy. How?",0.16322916666666742,2.1598448169642843,2.7473214285714285,91.98934523809523,85.20535714285714,5.161904761904762,20.047619047619047,6.42735559955562,0.1093726190476194,805,24,182,8,24,279,107,224,0.139,0.695,0.166,0.7747,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,6,0,3,11,0,1,6,1,28,6,0,2,0,41,46,17,1,8,18,0,4,2,2,1,6,4,0,0,5,8,0,0,9,0,1,3,11,3,0,1,8,9,40,8,26,36,3,18,0,1,1,0,17,9,0,9,6,136,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588125023085548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394828542880452,0.10916232711407728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118069528150467,0.12896109338715278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530570667137798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35855101929961475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361656579889452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804293502148373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19587893404914689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430171826386008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337181389770935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834528943460494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495339783995333,0.11409390331170473,0.11703222238434485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277527198178285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22408411027995198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791250257637103,0.08880733360634456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32380894353224443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480457741828864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22214623481403856,0.09285860852068162,0.0,0.0,0.09304898620921837,0.21260242216699626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826489986967656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277252510606065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28156111077283474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482022611895595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420765057937362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855562828955772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269167487677408,0.13774559566749175,0.1853700229559942,0.09366425453026717,0.0,0.0,0.10824511540298908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294864428402816,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PORANON,2019/01/04,"I am incapable of emotionally opening up to anyone. I am an 18 year male old from England. I should probably say at the start of my post that I have been diagnosed with being on the Autistic Spectrum, although I’m definitely high-functioning, probably on the higher-end of it too. Do you think my problem is related to it?

Since around the time I started secondary school, I noticed I literally could not show any ‘love’ emotion, or ‘attraction’ emotion (is affection a better word!?) to ANYONE, not even my own mum.

For example, I really dislike hugging people, and if I do it’s reluctant and half-assed, and I cannot tell anyone I love them, I don’t know why, I just cant... This is a problem with girls do, I am a kiss-less virgin. Even when girls have literally told me to my face that they like me I will always awkwardly reject them, even if I don’t want to... Even when my friends are talking about ‘hot’ girls, I don’t really join in the conversation, I just don’t feel comfortable. 

I don’t know why I can’t open up to people, maybe you could say I have some sort of fear of relationships, but I can *talk* to girls fine, and the problem extends to my family too, so i don’t think that is the reason. (MAYBE the family and ‘other girls’ issues are separate?)",4.82686,5.331106596000005,6.221350000000001,78.28842500000002,69.04,9.93,30.425,9.978442167317967,2.87358,979,37,196,23,16,333,134,250,0.08900000000000001,0.8170000000000001,0.094,-0.3449,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,3,1,13,15,0,2,12,0,31,6,1,2,0,35,43,13,0,9,8,1,2,1,1,2,1,2,0,6,8,10,0,0,6,1,0,0,11,6,0,0,2,4,36,9,25,36,2,17,0,1,0,4,23,9,0,5,8,137,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026911035300576,0.0,0.0,0.07377425548960136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275679715990683,0.0,0.0,0.0965756128195902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594712295916323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732346167899272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011108899402317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660967192000245,0.09608646773421636,0.0,0.0,0.28661613439880657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20454204503588733,0.122077002486655,0.0548538223914369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838160773684575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146215012848504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113231283399518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924222634864097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300081952219303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958258480628664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797770054788004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351212270033225,0.11383789309279513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15042117832481802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389967764630673,0.0,0.2339326889224259,0.31141958556694105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899792336314604,0.11154175999747136,0.0,0.11647345162736655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17254497246328235,0.0,0.10979370615939933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974080758779583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535740135614365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439400567875085,0.09482161685008474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390270009539989,0.0,0.0,0.0632591064788834,0.0,0.0,0.10366309983443486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398790157966963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19578362904298766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986147955751873
mentalhealth,SuzyEsber,2019/01/04,"I’m scared I’m relapsing in my depression and I don’t want to go back there In August things were horrible, not gonna go in too much detail but my parents didn’t believe I was depressed and thought I did it for the attention (they’re now educated on the subject and are supportive about it)

TW

I would frequently call myself a failure and I would say horrible things to myself. I had such an intense hatred towards my body at the time that I dieted on 800 calories every day and lost 10 kgs.

I would turn to sh as a shitty way to cope but my mum, at the time, didn’t understand and called me some horrible things and forced me to stop.

It’s all coming back now. I had three months of peace where I dieted normally and didn’t hate myself completely and now its coming back to me

I dont want to relapse

",4.160996714129247,4.766215012048196,5.5075027382256305,82.45507667031767,70.56626506024097,9.409857612267249,28.343921139101862,9.573946990214177,2.379103614457832,636,22,133,14,11,214,98,166,0.27,0.6679999999999999,0.062,-0.9922,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,11,6,1,1,7,0,14,3,1,0,1,26,29,12,0,6,3,2,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,8,11,2,1,3,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,10,1,21,1,19,15,3,27,0,3,0,0,5,9,0,1,13,95,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373011824769533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473924279524071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241684040015464,0.0,0.0,0.29861280298608417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519102091460153,0.15330830597072173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942994454872998,0.0,0.2518771871621051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136810036390135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319618866850415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619976025911373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14436142987182538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159615796723575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671096585438513,0.0,0.10748811618048604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14326401061300514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623593895873429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627957135353045,0.14639117247068872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224600315744845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659280932227334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914251058759957,0.0,0.0,0.1160819063304616,0.1705234683006996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904476801258996,0.0,0.15221959878147998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724880339606352,0.1160621893570395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116102951151287,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DanielClay,2019/01/04,"I am a nobody, from nowhere, with nothing. I am a M24 and I am starting to realize that I am probably never going to amount to anything. I can blame 1000 different people, but the reality is that I did it to myself. I have never had motivation, in fact I am not even sure what motivation feels like. I have been self medicating with drugs and alcohol since I was 13. I had minimal parental guidance, so I literally did whatever the fuck I wanted. So here I am, more than a quarter way done with my pointless existence, watching all my peers graduate college, follow their dreams, make something of themselves. All while I'm here doing nothing meaningful, but boil with regret and resentment. I work 50 hours a week at a pointless job just go home, smoke weed, play video games, and die a little more each day. I'm not suicidal, but sometimes the thought of just checking out doesn't seem that bad. I mean, I am not exactly a critical piece of society so it would not even matter on the greater scheme. I can say that honestly I am worthless. I offer nothing. I wish I could start over. Fuck this. ",4.03504201680672,5.883425047619048,5.185742296918772,79.88533613445381,72.33333333333334,8.750700280112046,31.40056022408964,9.325443323948027,2.9967450980392165,860,40,161,20,17,284,132,210,0.185,0.691,0.124,-0.9134,3,0,4,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,3,9,10,3,0,11,0,24,6,0,3,7,41,40,11,2,5,9,1,1,1,0,1,3,1,1,1,8,10,2,0,8,4,1,3,7,6,0,1,8,3,26,4,18,30,8,18,0,2,1,2,6,6,2,1,9,118,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15228777396605775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726428864565028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898046255034063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377361694041825,0.0,0.0,0.09189987305048003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478911532363837,0.14888081247931398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145825644867693,0.0,0.0,0.16525325196946336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823809518150145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07205162446313049,0.10180109994511297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26347550441136397,0.0,0.0,0.16197059049397936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293781500414166,0.0,0.1403325155881657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140797210731287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961766706429834,0.14282113342181366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511898895042896,0.0,0.0,0.1552228595189354,0.0,0.1435524488979062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980756482810215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101940383593348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582279430650498,0.0,0.0,0.09879065650722348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536377003193144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133206859333322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129725464848453,0.14865722219283406,0.0,0.0,0.11787639740386265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970246132406383,0.14093485824886046,0.0,0.2017226269750657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587044961987928,0.0,0.1343033386011509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312805075469805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840494254329637,0.11310883550539233,0.11430386196709055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386647278461652,0.0,0.0,0.10374075094752057,0.0,0.0,0.10122698818400352,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShanNtrav,2019/01/04,"Some advice on a reclusive family member My brother is in serious danger mentally. He hasn't seen my parents in over 2 years, although they provide everything for him financially. He straight up ignores them unless he is out of money. His car is broke down now and he doesnt leave his home. He doesn't have a job and distanced himself from almost everyone except for a couple friends at this point. I am the one that's seen him last and it's been over a year. I'm scared how much worse it can get for him. His home isn't clean and he has been a hermit now for almost 4 years without a job. Is there any advice that you guys have for me on what I can do as his sister? It's to the point where we are all pretty desperate to get him help but he doesnt want the help and gets defensive anytime we bring it up. ",2.3309213863060023,3.875902011834324,3.7107565511411664,89.95883136094677,76.21893491124258,6.722062552831784,23.31403212172443,7.447530270364453,0.8473073541842768,636,19,138,8,14,209,104,169,0.095,0.8240000000000001,0.081,-0.0485,3,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,2,0,5,7,2,1,9,0,19,0,0,1,1,20,27,10,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,8,8,0,2,0,0,1,2,6,6,0,1,4,2,19,1,24,23,3,23,0,1,2,0,28,15,0,3,6,95,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993829762384379,0.0,0.0,0.3067871014551358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417166465253692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949728419377408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14637569164377826,0.13767360901878134,0.0,0.14441003288624102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835104598715653,0.0,0.24009992997753665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167812439306794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20535455887707896,0.0,0.3073158944980379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040267366340621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248669535711753,0.0,0.16220174931041684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543753570238034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260926195417552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380273000756776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009481310530547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896203782392076,0.0,0.0,0.155845131152689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336580893138255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035301245590246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766574070075258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610951866430828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959400907117942
mentalhealth,antioxidantqueen78,2019/01/04,"Advice needed on helping a family member who is hearing voices Hello all. I am using a throwaway for obvious reasons.

​

I have a family member who has isolated himself for the past 8-10 years. He is an educated person, but has bounced from small town to small town taking minimum wage jobs. He does not keep in touch with us.

​

Recently, it has come to light that he has been hearing voices for the past several years. He says they started in 2017. He believes these voices are a gift, but sometimes they harass him. Moreover, he purchased a gun to quiet the voices. He says they have stopped harassing him because they are afraid now.

​

I have several questions for this sub:

1) Are there any good methods to convince him to go in for a psych evaluation? 

2) How do I find a place that can properly evaluate him and treat him?

3) Does anyone have any recommendations for places to go in Little Rock, Arkansas?

​

The family is deeply concerned for his wellbeing. Thank you in advance for your guidance.",4.1032080200501255,6.890829624338629,4.834447229184072,78.11937343358396,75.50793650793649,7.5768309663046525,30.05318852687273,8.532816995589336,2.81798835978836,825,38,134,17,19,265,116,189,0.08,0.825,0.095,0.457,2,0,1,1,0,0,41.0,1,2,4,1,3,7,2,1,12,0,18,0,0,3,2,16,29,4,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,0,1,7,3,0,2,3,1,2,4,1,3,0,0,1,11,18,4,22,28,1,25,0,0,0,0,31,13,0,1,8,85,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861659546804848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930298049734496,0.4407701120908693,0.12333818551386093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340924873188575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055280898367677904,0.0,0.0,0.1021712439830541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811732955598871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871858031251854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25647000293594985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288469310703728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307705660918323,0.07606250123517387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044177782883833,0.0,0.06078442435229296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999113667142616,0.08060523396288749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089046357002208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724197801080843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313870132429238,0.0,0.07918287913372424,0.1894936097861776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158825575431377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323956030332156,0.0895407629398378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442331317471581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489708322287326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969005001228908,0.0,0.06418750026362009,0.0,0.0,0.07581694563254181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818403648482972,0.0,0.0,0.08349081188931606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908321301280392,0.07832295596178011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4407701120908693,0.11679668020712965
mentalhealth,MediumSizeExtra,2019/01/04,"I'm not participating in life due to anxiety and a strange phobia regarding my family I have anxiety about going to places I've never been, doing things I'm unfamiliar with, and taking on a challenge where other people are depending on me to succeed. I also have a phobia about my family seeing me do things that are unexpected. The time I've spent in this rut has culminated in my life being severely off the tracks and going nowhere. Please, if anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it. ",5.971192982456143,6.6545408736842155,7.7260526315789475,67.87153508771932,66.57894736842104,10.964912280701757,29.517543859649123,10.864195022040775,3.447070175438596,393,13,68,11,6,138,63,95,0.155,0.757,0.08800000000000001,-0.5664,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,5,0,10,3,0,1,1,8,19,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,7,3,13,16,0,13,0,0,1,1,2,8,0,2,3,49,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20944464664772505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140277527127726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457544297807983,0.0,0.3279297565871683,0.0,0.0,0.1498672751385039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4041099288979788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436218361241605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24156992895061344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027808024314777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934447500101676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530754865462202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859216760770935,0.0,0.223933349809054,0.2352743040674435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707964011580897,0.0,0.0,0.2421363457267857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115244952882238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28478789329779736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249798446908363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,layyaya,2019/01/04,"i want to feel things for people  as the title says. but the problem is i dont “feel” anything for anyone. like they are nothing to me. 

for example with my mom, i don’t necessarily feel love towards her but more of an obligation to do things for her because of my role as her daughter. 

when people ask how i feel about them, i dont know what to say because i DONT feel anything towards them. theyre just there. but i dont know how to incite feelings for someone.

 im just generally numb inside all the time and i hate it ",1.676111111111112,3.563517351851853,3.4812592592592613,89.3396666666667,79.18518518518519,5.801481481481483,24.68888888888889,6.742157984588678,0.8146488888888892,406,15,87,4,10,136,63,108,0.106,0.8009999999999999,0.093,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,0,7,5,1,0,4,0,8,2,0,2,1,21,20,9,0,2,5,2,6,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,8,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,8,17,2,18,20,2,4,0,0,0,1,13,2,0,0,3,63,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698978334101573,0.0,0.22829426078821186,0.0,0.12967582902216926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911357452754786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6502718755143441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208179455666795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694815072837632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983141559603194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246360396045813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776706712591041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519186977012522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245635687665844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309670808355595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19232914095654915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272745685628015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22061671567665975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752917046878357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430652084366314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808833552712248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181519570239651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,divya12verma,2019/01/04,"I am losing my mind slowly and slowly Ahhh I don't know here to begin my 2018 was hell and it feels like this year will be nothing but hell as well and you wanna know why well it's a long story and definitely can't be told in one post but here's what I am dealing with. 

 So basically my parents hate me and the reason for that is cause I am fat and I am unintelligent and I am forgetful and I am annoying. I can't even explain how much that hurts to hear that from my parents that they don't like me. My morning starts by hearing shouting and saying bad things to me and it ends the same way and that isn't even it I have so much to say but can't type anymore without baling my eyes of 

( give me all the advice you can) ",0.7233333333333363,2.494907872611467,2.9225732484076445,92.75146072186837,81.7388535031847,5.4605520169851385,20.0208067940552,6.42735559955562,0.001969341825902138,564,15,131,5,15,192,90,157,0.202,0.718,0.08,-0.9758,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,1,1,9,11,4,0,4,0,19,2,2,3,1,28,30,18,0,1,4,2,1,2,0,1,1,5,0,0,12,12,1,0,5,0,0,0,7,7,2,1,2,7,22,4,13,25,4,8,2,2,1,0,13,1,2,0,7,98,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034905937888135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258660752912925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846568901245542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15805539173245042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586216887362052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627324786317996,0.0,0.0,0.20324460064737346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777956429376501,0.10991677260576707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759540106010574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190373244215327,0.0,0.0,0.3468201472156598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470905027549396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911356874844627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033529665546266,0.0,0.0,0.13616021510482612,0.0,0.1721286653574502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535354918960065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22620787360569505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763168853412356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425871914085172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416840259513178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735422020053848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819249334126553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447094201139145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890206555042577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221696416006758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701869712890975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212597072774707,0.0,0.0,0.2766751159158731,0.0,0.13883365492176986,0.0,0.0,0.14831441316931832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908003639143112
mentalhealth,jaybeags,2019/01/04,"Paranoid. Always think everyones talking about me. I started a new job 3 months ago and the stress of meeting new people has been a bit much. I dont know how to control it. As soon as people start whispering, I swear i can hear my name and some adjective. Ive tried so hard to not think about it, or why would anyone talk about me. I try to avoid everyone now, just to prevent them from having anything to say. I just dont know why i care so much, I wish things could just roll off of me. ",2.39970588235294,3.6686610784313705,3.4962254901960783,92.70551470588238,75.47058823529412,6.6686274509803924,23.534313725490197,7.1686216300943375,0.6572901960784314,378,11,86,4,8,122,70,102,0.131,0.8270000000000001,0.042,-0.7661,1,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,11,3,0,2,3,0,9,0,0,2,0,20,18,8,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,4,14,1,14,15,4,9,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,2,8,57,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333639188033362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518558067781466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519740568652973,0.0,0.12380666880966162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425129017130033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15339273395061614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874129314062236,0.12012124641274716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526501036428989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875208428860713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477271023637308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956690374198213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929737068238594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536561940618466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008691850295407,0.0,0.2211945819025557,0.0,0.0,0.29060907162425553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20860472072002026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964304559103428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21297708584397115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17233876675210474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24185033819708615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999515989003375,0.1928032277737179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20428992601087265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715135575515303,0.0,0.1730088704700038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687461925060104,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iDrinkOxygen,2019/01/04,"I feel like nothing is fucking real.... I have SEVERE ADHD and a possible Mood Disorder (not fully diagnosed, just suspected). Recently, since my grades have been going down (just for context, I am a high IQ student placed in normal classes and it frustrates the fuck out of me) because I can't focus. For some reason I keep fearing the passing of time and nothing feels real, like something seems off. It feels like nothing is normal anymore. My parents have been arguing and screaming and there has been a lot of fights between them and me, (physical and verbal) and its really fucking me up. Can anyone help me find out what's wrong with me or how I can cope? Even the stuff I used to cope with just doesn't seem to make me enjoyed anymore.",6.890585106382978,6.873910496453902,7.017083333333336,76.14562500000002,64.60283687943263,9.319503546099293,36.06471631205674,8.841846274778883,3.195871631205674,584,26,102,8,8,188,92,141,0.179,0.7340000000000001,0.087,-0.936,1,0,1,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,1,0,6,14,6,1,6,0,14,4,0,4,0,35,26,10,0,2,5,1,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,12,0,1,8,0,0,2,3,9,0,0,3,4,16,4,16,23,2,12,0,0,0,3,5,8,3,5,5,75,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268319106325845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25198865681556964,0.08883269555860128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744534611450941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894782307237684,0.0,0.0,0.14560437606350912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391190870465373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296074865547606,0.1927130423246979,0.18152169668718832,0.0,0.0,0.11611666841186012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35235268053623464,0.0,0.0,0.072202501779806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515546818766873,0.13422983282611414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292327779077392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862030525956298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080089670238811,0.0,0.0,0.08480340718696065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489539086010908,0.36570880793086413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410682433882213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273480198142767,0.0,0.0,0.14322395131838006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28920964893625895,0.08138816804469004,0.13062323935526754,0.12544143785636286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313136743662055,0.0,0.14352449034481396,0.0,0.10509279206049292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780531311076802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543592938301275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408085910764604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972593811388044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890357227436353,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PlzHelp1001,2019/01/04,"What to do when you feel like a failure? What to do when you feel like a failure, especially compared to those around you?",3.41,5.2529933333333325,3.84,88.905,74.0,6.466666666666668,28.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.3743166666666669,96,4,20,1,2,30,13,24,0.232,0.601,0.16699999999999998,-0.4515,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4058461650042953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4610317823191813,0.651387708458466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4454577862291035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theultimatepie,2019/01/04,"Quitting Prozac Cold Turkey Hey!

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SO i've been on 60mg daily doses of prozac since early August! Initially this was to treat my Bulimia, but since then it has also emerged that i suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. I feel like since being on Prozac it has made my BPD worse and i want to stop taking the prozac so have gone cold turkey as of today.

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Any advice on what to expect?

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Thanks",3.4682559774964825,6.431895037974683,3.9649789029535865,82.26985935302395,79.63291139240506,6.042756680731365,21.436005625879048,7.3871296695380915,1.0997330520393809,344,10,57,5,9,108,58,79,0.172,0.716,0.113,-0.8143,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,1,0,7,12,7,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,3,5,3,10,7,0,9,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006275483006724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643918330744977,0.0,0.4326379745394488,0.4851893828901894,0.09051185107567483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763346987593508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254292939972805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729882897869527,0.09508591743903004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502542454200205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594144596559406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621687045313912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156711823472545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303024838905598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127668310531386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007384704649684,0.0,0.0,0.12253963199521367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616224302812454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850520998128327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563920238741278,0.0,0.0,0.4851893828901894,0.0
mentalhealth,thatguygideon,2019/01/04,"I cannot stop ripping the skin off my fingers due to social anxiety. TW: could be considered as self-harm

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This happens to me all the time, especially whenever I feel nervous or anxious, instead of simply biting my nails like any other person ever, I rip the skin off my fingers (especially the thumb) with my teeth, or I scratch it off with my index finger/middle finger (usually) until I start to bleed.

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Thanks to this, my hands are all fucked up and it makes me very self-conscious about the way I look. I have to wear hoodies with long sleeves in order to hide my hands from everybody, but they eventually end up finding out anyways, to which they always make the ''Oh, that is so gross but I don't wanna be ultra obvious'' face.

​

Does anyone else have this problem? I really need to get rid of issue, it is destroying me mentally and physically.",8.86561403508772,8.60271638011696,8.312397660818714,69.30789473684213,60.63742690058479,10.640935672514619,39.46783625730994,9.994966539143718,4.132794152046784,755,35,120,13,9,239,111,171,0.133,0.838,0.03,-0.9584,0,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,2,0,5,7,2,1,6,0,10,12,10,2,4,23,20,9,0,4,4,0,9,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,10,21,2,25,17,2,18,0,0,1,1,4,7,1,2,10,83,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043606919933290036,0.5110478083823419,0.5731234551020744,0.0356386369566786,0.0,0.040091301375464995,0.05920512558247179,0.0,0.03664427502052797,0.053697284975032684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04184281884739435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045861821612428334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043779421863160715,0.0,0.04641715077032562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04740523806309937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026498613221113385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789915587943296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844953557020155,0.027380555823680004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046343440850122035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054699414781393625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02560347038167159,0.0,0.0,0.046378649753664125,0.04400877955614438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996431564067095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052814048065564716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03885921351270169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04575987348726194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05014653362732066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03357334137495723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934410605631116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342245641744663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037094027442049385,0.0,0.0,0.043814696791671874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482494325945356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030559011609714894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057719035807356635,0.04324136038210246,0.0,0.041598330450989866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5731234551020744,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaysed12345,2019/01/04,"I hate being funny When I was a kid I used to be pretty quiet. I'm not sure if that was due to some toxic shame or shyness, but I liked being myself.  I look back at some of my posts online and I hate the tone. It's me being funny.  I don't really like it.  I don't know who I am anymore.  I think the content of what I'm saying might be what I'm trying to say, it's just the outward expression. It's funny and light, and I don't really like it.  I want to just be myself.  I know I'm a bit boring but that's who I am.  I don't really care. I have my interests and ideas and the things I read and I really enjoy digging into things and understanding them.  I don't want to be the empty funny guy who lives in denial and only for social success.  I feel I've been acting that way for way to long and it haunts me.",-0.3552686202686246,1.27093626923077,3.0060805860805893,91.51947496947498,84.65934065934066,5.5829059829059835,15.056166056166056,6.691623216298621,-0.42200463980463976,619,9,146,7,18,226,89,182,0.158,0.655,0.18600000000000005,0.8075,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,4,12,2,1,7,0,19,0,0,1,1,30,35,14,0,3,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,3,0,2,16,10,0,0,6,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,3,6,27,8,13,24,3,12,0,0,1,0,10,4,0,5,7,102,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700586493453408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217344049913355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17283889470005054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141261699310475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004878282146859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567566658112266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31260642444405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787182799656405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401148477887732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23203402641750226,0.0,0.13979497908208224,0.14010372658769754,0.13294466421815526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16794711693647904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040563427119025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162193569263746,0.1610631937872601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835776708946045,0.0,0.4056823789063263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517967650291902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138212878786554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492099430649615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21035480280757854,0.10144181134972352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074854418898316,0.0,0.0,0.16481142001584356,0.0,0.13673326440191186,0.0,0.0,0.18675648891706365,0.25132603674171144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lifeskillssf,2019/01/04,"The Reaction to Trauma - Pasadena Villa Pasadena Villa  The underpinning principles of recovery are about improving our spiritual condition. But what creates the suffering in life that breaks down our spirit, and how are the soul and the behavior connected to the spiritual condition? ",11.059015151515148,13.585631113636365,11.04818181818182,41.975606060606076,56.04545454545455,16.775757575757574,48.75757575757576,14.554592549557764,9.418175757575758,235,15,25,12,3,78,31,44,0.115,0.757,0.128,-0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,22,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DankSona420,2019/01/04,"Is it possible to have been sexually abused as a child and not remember but still have it affect you? I’ve always been bad at writing but here it goes.. My childhood wasn’t horrible. It was bad. But not as bad as some. I was always horribly painfully shy as a kid. Attention scared the living shit out of me. School wasn’t pleasant because of this. Ive struggled with body image as long as I can remember. I remember always having a reason to be sad. During elementary school I had full blown insomnia that later was cleared up for full blown depression. As a teen I was diagnosed with bulimia, depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. I’ve been hospitalized multiple times for all of it. My mom was a bad mom. She was abusive mean. I never trusted her. I never loved her. About six years ago her addiction caused her to almost kill her self and we told her she needs to cut the shit so she left us with my dad and went home to Texas. My dad has been doing the best he can being a single dad to my two siblings. After having kids and reading all the books I came to the conclusion that the way she raised me is the reason why I am the way I am. You build trust with your kids when they are first born and I guess I felt like I wasn’t loved enough. 
So my parents are broke and going through a nasty breakup. My mom vandalized our house. Kid napped my disabled sister. Turned our heat off in winter. And told the police my dad is a child molester. And we went through the thing with my sister. Accusations were cleared. They came back a few weeks ago to check things out because she told them to. She’s not in the same state so she wouldn’t even know. 
DISCLAIMER: my dad was my hero. He will give you his last twenty dollars. Will give you the shirt off his back. All he’s ever done is try to give us the best life possible. 
I found out a few days ago that my brother found pictures of little girls on his phone. My brother found out like six months ago and it ate him up inside so he told me. I haven’t found out for sure for myself. But that just means my mom was right. He’s a pedofile. He probably abused her the way she said too.
Now almost every mental disorder I have has strong ties to being sexual abused. Like all of them. And my whole life I’ve felt invalidated because my life was “fine.” Is it possibly that he abused me and I just don’t remember. I remember my mom asking me in middle school if he touched me and tried looking at my legs and stuff but I got mad because I know he didn’t.  This has been eating me up inside for the past few days. Any input welcome. Sorry for such a long post. ",1.5890584415584428,3.9123902651515188,2.9041883116883125,91.0343181818182,81.95454545454545,6.195670995670996,20.981601731601728,7.447530270364453,0.6909647186147194,2052,61,433,32,56,663,238,528,0.223,0.6940000000000001,0.083,-0.9983,1,0,0,0,5,0,53.0,6,5,4,6,17,32,6,2,27,0,50,16,5,4,10,78,82,32,1,3,11,15,3,3,0,3,7,1,1,9,17,28,2,0,19,3,2,5,12,17,0,4,38,5,82,15,54,38,16,60,0,4,1,2,81,22,2,5,31,290,99,5,0.0,0.3290047649892382,0.0,0.06054232177791179,0.0,0.0,0.1969168764616222,0.0,0.11122235123393884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863093788580058,0.0,0.0,0.03776631227210479,0.0,0.042484806839873726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191856401997914,0.0,0.0,0.08540734879565612,0.18548060674726186,0.13541666187080958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656298875196125,0.0,0.0,0.06168785847330473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703653542555982,0.0,0.057050661121213264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163211441621081,0.0,0.09566596811038093,0.056367763306753374,0.0,0.0,0.12729789167155894,0.0,0.0,0.05683250113002061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056827084030607565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573834240988982,0.0,0.03668093416223839,0.05023539553997945,0.04679138587051343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106646334707467,0.0,0.0,0.047238802997271435,0.0,0.2435689647244525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982526979876868,0.031562328339542124,0.0,0.044417127667761125,0.0,0.06117904832420265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557070297211165,0.0,0.0,0.06408096519107775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144223829452264,0.0,0.061042149817947436,0.045269165821289134,0.0,0.0,0.06033991123920233,0.0,0.11767993280021828,0.08139609762790813,0.05566155551000964,0.04903921179552588,0.0982950370119146,0.04663616381995512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024662505654684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098973876671446,0.0,0.0,0.05596711888904849,0.0,0.0,0.3252148387465261,0.04432822068308845,0.0,0.0,0.041179161648438614,0.0856654101397208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909410670184194,0.0,0.0616660379674928,0.0,0.05301529476339724,0.0,0.0484918004510856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18782512791800332,0.05318803483573655,0.0,0.05987708667383819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05555092272095741,0.0,0.0,0.11420029687831774,0.0,0.0,0.3145567086755601,0.04742734996415272,0.05282735270904028,0.0,0.055601118128292264,0.1686158686987515,0.0,0.0,0.057936049286291924,0.0,0.1140135940719378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062167886452104935,0.0,0.0,0.0443510366226287,0.0,0.0,0.05805817445982842,0.06357531169144268,0.0,0.0,0.052341922778676206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379116041807184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03238342635219927,0.0,0.0,0.21226770631353725,0.0,0.07541045299883355,0.06040710505085585,0.054250498678199664,0.0,0.1336056848614204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322454228302818,0.04454754422861867,0.0,0.0,0.10296466010709272,0.05011250620648825,0.062003842259840236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03576329486825396
mentalhealth,surfpunx420,2019/01/04,Effexor withdraw I don’t see my doctor until the 15th and I’ve been without Effexor for a couple days. I could go to the urgent care and get a script to hold myself over but I can’t get myself to leave the house. I can’t even drive without having a crying episode. I honestly just feel like I might as well quit now for good so I never have to go through this again.  It was barely benefiting me anyway. I just don’t care anymore. Idk ,0.407682317682319,2.720613164835168,2.5484515484515486,91.5260939060939,87.68131868131869,5.067332667332668,19.261738261738266,6.574015621080383,0.1967714285714286,342,10,72,4,11,115,62,91,0.031,0.701,0.268,0.9719,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,0,6,0,10,1,0,0,1,12,18,6,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,7,0,1,0,2,2,12,7,12,14,0,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,6,54,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968367014338886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41057655753269706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076044336806888,0.22278835482491088,0.2211719414347217,0.1298531657370205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060887857076864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298882664504874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101807883106576,0.14384345336497387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103926272239215,0.0,0.2288620564294449,0.16888162140534194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323292076845951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21319905537411407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836873718595228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21359900608719612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529242423542902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415898082771026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16044873571951665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810365387830061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881856584452691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mxpizzapie,2019/01/04,"Could I have psychosis? Recently I've been really concerned that I could actually have psychosis. Long story short, I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. It's characterised by hearing other people in your head, having alters (other people in your head), and dissociating a lot. My therapist firmly believes I have this and she's treating me for DID, and I'm getting much better in that regard. My pyschiatrist on the other hand diagnosed me with psychosis, because I hear the alters talking to me (as inner dialogue, which is not the same as hearing them talk to you outside of your body) and she thinks that's hallucinations. So for a while I believed my therapist, because a lot of mental health professionals have their own stigma about DID and are reluctant to diagnose people with it. Although I still believe I have DID, I'm worried I might ALSO have psychosis. 

I found a new alter a while ago that is very paranoid, sees things(sorta) and is kind of delusional. It started off where she would just think she saw something and it turned out to be a tree or something. She would get delusions that there were monsters coming to attack her and she would take over the body and walk miles and miles away from home in order to ""keep us safe"" it was scary because I couldn't stop her. Through a lot of talking we were able to kind of convince her the monsters weren't real, which made me believe we weren't psychotic. 

But recently I have been seeing things, not my alter. And I'm not just mistaking things for other things, I'm actually seeing things that aren't there, but only for a split second. Its mostly animals and dark figures. And I'm not really scared and I don't think it's real, I'm just confused. 

I know I should talk to my psychiatrist about this but I don't get to see her often because I live in a small town and she's fully booked. I know this is pretty confusing but does anyone have any experience with psychosis and DID? 
 ",5.819510869565217,7.018778755434787,6.2154739130434775,76.71865652173916,67.15217391304347,8.931478260869566,31.02434782608696,9.174902378510234,2.7472981304347823,1554,60,273,28,25,501,176,368,0.047,0.899,0.054000000000000006,0.5027,0,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,3,4,2,1,12,11,1,3,14,0,38,8,5,1,0,65,67,28,0,8,12,0,1,0,0,5,3,3,1,0,26,23,0,3,7,1,0,2,10,5,0,1,14,9,47,6,38,44,7,30,0,0,5,0,27,17,0,9,10,209,73,2,0.07903059910960891,0.0,0.15424492886000052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005585767718034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320074155498523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05374351746925381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526003245039444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990871571490694,0.0742518493917149,0.0,0.0,0.1927052787268681,0.0,0.0,0.35616168750863103,0.0,0.0698961425589345,0.0,0.17557035887508113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807786328544498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619900522128946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042878903042174,0.0,0.0,0.0905759134696198,0.0,0.06916020985862792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730709071220375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665297273613798,0.0,0.0,0.1238706785012493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221639002970772,0.08400583121609012,0.26721968689655673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927413466811889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024602772530486,0.0,0.1645964148328142,0.08686630088383876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697854669214808,0.06993959326408396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20156696760606208,0.0,0.07478066375745622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964425570719745,0.08383897655327831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058096583722842765,0.0,0.0,0.07632824509089432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010633187804549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16436959962649333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040253130771792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179908247573575,0.10125805096752473,0.0,0.15606636459644305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912341670820437,0.0,0.2519086214567935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168323256062027,0.0,0.0,0.05593826481804245,0.0,0.06311393853692032,0.06607311961160739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942117505101239,0.2540872077536636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835212336983003,0.21001767344567546,0.15191885038112732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596259762342927,0.0,0.0,0.09506407994784592,0.0,0.0,0.06520852101932934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025940963238001,0.0,0.16842321032641205,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jayjay-bay,2019/01/04,"People who say that mental illness isn’t real or you shouldn’t take pills for it because it doesn’t show on the outside are literally wrong. When I’m depressed I look like shit, smell like shit, stay in bed all day and sleep all day. I isolate myself and when I’m really bad I genuinly want to die. If you were to take a brain scan of me when I’m at my worst - it would show significant reduction in serotonin and dopamine levels e.g. I hate all this stigma and predjudice around my disease. Fuck all these people. They don’t know what they’re talking about at all. You wouldn’t tell a cancer patient who doesn’t look like he has cancer to stop his chemo just because he looks like he’s fine. Why would you tell that to me when I tell you I’m on antidepressants? If I hadn’t been taking them every day these last couple of months - I would be dead. People need to educate themselves better on our illness. Please upvote and share so we can get the word around. I’m pissed. ",3.5941285956006763,4.988210071065994,4.08732994923858,89.1503519458545,72.65482233502539,6.877698815566838,23.285617597292728,7.3011,0.7343958714043999,772,20,162,8,15,243,118,197,0.259,0.642,0.099,-0.9916,0,0,0,0,0,2,18.0,2,5,2,1,9,16,5,0,4,0,16,11,5,0,5,28,33,13,2,9,4,0,0,4,0,5,5,1,1,0,11,8,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,9,0,0,3,6,22,7,18,24,6,21,0,1,4,1,21,10,4,3,14,91,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212708307602891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376848359768696,0.1515196861021921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991542785181854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873741444151674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751329021162642,0.0,0.24045066555107994,0.0,0.10704205271708772,0.0,0.1289828630676201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471113379165377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148947187288635,0.0649310921761757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227006221624104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830095537462152,0.1013046651806202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24286742841714365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130913200216709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524485789205042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919899059065627,0.0,0.0,0.09215193404893438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584799991436543,0.0,0.0,0.1364219547884198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145767764971376,0.07961685429315622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883232496744022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551429602015117,0.0,0.0,0.12436960344591212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246578416594254,0.0,0.1039035195038225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28032894120084595,0.09989143581267602,0.32587820033272524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330347552435648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214323415304933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648545190830143,0.1358805062241282,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FredVgreaT,2019/01/04,"R U MENTAL Hi Reddit 

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I wanted to reach out and ask if this community of wonderful people can spare some time to have a look at our kickstarter. 

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Me and my girlfriend have spent the last few months putting together a Zine (a hip mini magazine) on the topic of mental health.

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It's titled MENTAL and is designed to examine mental health and its effects on young adults, and to be an outlet for people to share their story through different mediums. The Zine consists of articles, photography, artwork and poetry in the hope of providing some form of comfort to individuals suffering from mental illness.

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The project has been completely DIY so in order to get it to print we need a little help funding the printing. There is a kickstarter page here

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[Help Support the Print](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mentalzine/mental-1)

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If you can spare a pound or a penny that would be grand. And if there are any others you can think of that might be interested too please share it along as well. 

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A website will be live in the next few days with the option to pre order one of the magazines. We are to have the Zine printed within the next three weeks! At the moment we are only shipping to the UK but if things go well we will look to start sending it further afield. 

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Instagram page Here

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[https://www.instagram.com/mentalzine/](https://www.instagram.com/mentalzine/)

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Thanks Reddit x",8.09606736842105,10.597196792000002,6.439178947368423,72.33253684210527,63.08,8.143157894736843,33.5578947368421,8.6894789155246,3.0358399999999994,1218,51,178,18,19,358,150,250,0.016,0.8740000000000001,0.111,0.9501,1,0,0,0,0,0,86.0,5,2,1,1,8,11,0,0,23,0,21,4,1,1,0,32,35,15,0,8,6,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,10,14,0,0,4,0,2,3,0,1,2,2,2,2,11,10,34,25,7,26,0,1,2,0,17,11,0,11,10,127,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4904197479552602,0.5499897578821493,0.03078009916171773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042314392185156965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745694262832825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02919061264187867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047289751145843724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023647824252658017,0.0,0.0257237611410466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622398892938253,0.0,0.0,0.06067709205406618,0.0,0.0,0.044955944078036936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03689503499595636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045364985221472594,0.039967677834239365,0.0,0.07601831688293299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273684143178518,0.04801643311499208,0.0,0.0,0.03612815088900728,0.0,0.0,0.03356162152669465,0.0,0.0,0.09627451163017747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03067108828055133,0.034424223470519384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275873276027748,0.0,0.0,0.049684708864704934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045501383630927865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032037079430440915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051363427119225966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041671692482563166,0.0,0.0,0.03007043974219472,0.02900242670780652,0.0,0.0,0.026392968080526998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02669703601482063,0.0,0.036306902799738736,0.0,0.08139297101687172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049085325503273665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032153230498590354,0.0,0.5499897578821493,0.0
mentalhealth,notmineforlong,2019/01/04,"Breakdown when nothings wrong This is the 3rd time it had happend in a year. I don't have any reason to feel sad and when it's happening a don't get why. I just shift in a seonds into feeling like a shit and eventually burst into unstoppable crying. After that i'm like nothing happend. Is this normal? Is it something to worry about? My older brother has severe social phobia, depression and anxiety attacks.. so i'm kinda scared and i don't want to end up on meds like he is. ",2.44895833333333,4.5773018125,4.303333333333335,83.20833333333336,77.75,6.3500000000000005,25.25,7.3871296695380915,1.4233624999999996,378,14,70,5,9,128,67,96,0.301,0.617,0.083,-0.9707,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,9,2,1,5,0,10,1,1,1,0,13,17,7,0,2,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,2,4,3,11,16,0,13,0,2,0,0,3,6,1,1,10,44,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337463196121081,0.0,0.1504564838982556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237471679221495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21603918169316516,0.0,0.0,0.1693966180058234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419642311118164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19889043441570284,0.14050526371158095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275501206184076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739198011248213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28825765168926915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21846252755928094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270057088714895,0.3774315573123857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20221552604921408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969068322688713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218772447593196,0.2018849296563937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20048625706861567,0.0,0.1514106749972013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468326745355865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600450969225845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746936008383518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19973386853051545,0.0,0.0,0.21503416295764025,0.0,0.12665279658148054
mentalhealth,braincell1,2019/01/04,"Am I depressed or just extremely lazy? I am currently a very unmotivated highschool student. I can’t bring myself to study or do “productive/healthy” hobbies that I used to enjoy like drawing, reading etc. Nowadays all I do is lie in bed listening to music and watching videos. My sleep schedule is an absolute mess with me sleeping at 4am-5am and getting up at around 9am-10am daily (school holidays). I find it hard to drag myself out of bed to shower/buy meals. I do have a part time job that I go to regularly and punctually, however. 
I am confused as to whether or not I’m depressed as I’ve felt felt worthless, unwanted and lonely for many years now but I feel like I check the boxes for what describes someone that is just chronically lazy. I have a hatred for everything about myself but I think I’m just too self pitying. 
I don’t really have a reason to be depressed either as I live in a relatively well-off household and attend a “branded” school, taking the IB course. All my life I have been chasing prestigious education to impress my parents and make their money worthwhile. But now I just want to give up and crawl into a hole and never come out because I don’t have any goals or dreams that I want to achieve. Everything I’m doing seems just pointless and useless. I also feel like I have taken my talents in music and art for granted and wasted them as I no longer have the motivation to pursue any of these things. 
So back to the question, am I depressed or just in a deep hole of laziness and am finding excuses for myself? Sorry for the Long post. 

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mentalhealth,SealarksandDaffodils,2019/01/04,"I don't know what to say but I feel like I can't sleep as I have so many thoughts of regret about myself. Some days I don't want to eat as I feel like I'm ruining my health and I can't go to parties without having a mental breakdown. I look at myself and I wonder why I am like this. I hate my thighs as they are covered in self harm scars and I feel like it's too difficult to not harm myself. I have a milk intolerance and I would purposely drink milk so my stomach would hurt. I feel like I am drifting away from all my friends and not helping them. I talk to the chancellor but I'm too scared to open up about my self harming to anyone. No one knows and this is the first time I'm admitting it. I just want to stay at home but life makes me go outside. I can't wait for school to start so I can hide the fact that I'm not eating but at the same time I don't want anyone to found out. I have the overwhelming urge to see how to purge and try and help myself. I'm not sure how I can tell my parents as I'm worried they'll just say ""its hormones"" but I don't know. Am I overreacting? Should I try opening more? I don't know anymore. I was at my happiest at Shanghai and ever since then I have been upset and I don't know. The reason I'm not sure if I'm overreacting is because I started my period a few weeks ago and I don't know if it's hormones making me sad or?? I need help. I'm just going to leave it here I guess.",0.25661409043112826,1.8766001135646704,2.5272145110410134,95.7640920084122,82.56466876971609,5.614679284963198,20.030389064143005,6.588339656340683,-0.015161850683491185,1104,30,272,11,30,376,148,317,0.213,0.687,0.101,-0.9873,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,3,1,14,20,1,3,9,0,29,10,3,5,5,67,68,29,0,10,17,1,4,5,1,4,2,2,1,2,9,14,5,1,15,1,0,4,17,12,0,2,4,8,51,8,32,60,5,27,0,5,2,0,15,11,0,6,16,174,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965261475200807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030158523307924,0.1414358931493729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950223531458943,0.0,0.0,0.0616527035968536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522555580836585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907660382432644,0.0,0.2069785693790028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914849888783051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455337299201148,0.2890116430161189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860278160523386,0.0,0.11089244838921963,0.07813886338827787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243693770571275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141476035698114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985270276004314,0.0,0.10750482076235528,0.0,0.0,0.20337173645255494,0.0,0.1014495245772248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827017595048874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33349635275142336,0.0,0.0,0.10709039556846643,0.0,0.0,0.07143666484361386,0.2470542601215762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493033413064183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350206200788464,0.10253792059598384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192317974366398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499244516602198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853363459307188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230162989630413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398656940500638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608577787811917,0.10125664621352408,0.10235691857503484,0.08059378380693151,0.0,0.2110177004734109,0.0,0.0,0.08366228681438419,0.0,0.10121090526200753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431718023848085,0.1077995069551492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906424811352548,0.0,0.0,0.08129078461619045,0.08839895158458849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029216736718506,0.11794860447807573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733194254269945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896119898536322,0.0,0.08112669452493079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126119190832292,0.0,0.0,0.09749329246314496,0.1096797000208327,0.0,0.10271041095738646,0.0,0.14369087459961458,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BryMP,2019/01/04,Anyone have Pans or Pandas? My Brother has this complicated illness and he recently got meningitis which caused a flair up. Just looking for any advice or too see if anyone has ever gone through this?,5.7650000000000015,8.192918833333337,5.806666666666668,74.80500000000002,69.0,8.133333333333335,31.44444444444445,8.841846274778883,2.995011111111111,162,7,25,3,3,51,32,36,0.083,0.917,0.0,-0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,7,7,4,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,5,0,4,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,3,2,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412223914195773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374597579161428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4883206215750898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587121792880358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158604625677523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792774763742943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932299052932375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447809419724457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27825756056226164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kristinosaur,2019/01/04,"Advice on how to talk to the parents of a friend who really needs help Some backstory, I have a friend who is very suicidal and pushes everyone away and who jokes about hurting himself. Last night he was being very worrisome and posting concerning things on his Snapchat so I reached out to him and he told me some things that lead me to believe he truly needs help. I live 3 states away and I feel it is important to talk to his parents, I would never forgive myself for sitting aside while he hurts himself knowing I could have done something to prevent it. He might get upset at me but I really care about his well being and if I have to do what I have to do, then it’s okay if he gets upset. How do I go about talking to his parents about this? ",2.0378366445916143,4.273253887417218,3.1836821192052973,90.16700220750552,79.66225165562913,6.1458719646799125,24.63620309050773,7.3011,1.1243056070640185,591,22,120,8,15,190,87,151,0.097,0.7440000000000001,0.159,0.7815,3,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,9,11,0,2,3,1,16,0,0,3,1,25,25,14,1,6,3,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,1,3,1,0,3,1,4,1,0,3,1,21,7,22,17,2,17,0,2,0,0,28,6,0,5,5,91,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254768410380172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548800396107886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282195959380096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829594592818634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829901111268968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880874633977666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296116377774456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685846146783424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095931739868388,0.0,0.1417345772155117,0.0,0.07708841140658519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18183579802237207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29041489524636105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454523487123392,0.11056624344448114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977427309163485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389460895509976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20115348401316085,0.10461538688023883,0.0,0.0,0.12729072422485602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518427969108266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299074348133001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17379133484851428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044237530414978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837021103375314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270714371462913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18022888778300344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296116377774456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22383752804172066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195834817757115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635610621383843,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lami-a,2019/01/04,"[venting] I'm worried that my life isn't actually going anywhere, and that it's pretty pointless to continue it tbh. Currently doing a uni course that I no longer like, and am genuinely not good at - I struggle to complete work on the simplest of tasks, which only fuels the pointless ideas. I never created much of a friendship network at uni (I'm only in second year, but still) and the mental health services in the area are pretty much useless. I know uni isn't the be all and end all of life, but I honestly don't know what I would do if I dropped out, which means that I kind of have to stay in - I'm trying to transfer course and stuff, but even though I want to succeed in something, I've lost all motivation to even try and sort everything out. My depression is only getting worse and I've been having incredibly strong urges to kill myself tbh and they are the strongest they've ever been and it's scaring me; to the point where I've been on the brink multiple times over this festive period. I kind of want to tell a doctor about it, but I'm terrified of what they will do if I say anything 'dangerous' - I've always been scared of being sectioned or something, even though I know that it's very unlikely to happen. idk I guess I just needed to rant? thanks ",6.990164835164832,6.05227561111111,7.281904761904768,77.38104395604398,64.71428571428572,10.134798534798533,34.06715506715506,9.265573868473778,2.8918616605616605,1002,37,195,15,13,327,136,252,0.165,0.6809999999999999,0.153,-0.6545,1,0,2,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,2,5,10,17,2,3,11,0,20,4,0,1,5,37,37,18,1,6,9,0,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,16,11,0,0,6,0,0,1,6,8,0,1,5,1,20,9,30,28,6,28,0,3,0,0,4,16,0,5,10,132,36,6,0.0,0.0,0.11736182066278755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007056537240824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896829393269717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609613283677668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358453525998786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309687851712685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651957367474507,0.0,0.0,0.23830276909216,0.10878706824158048,0.0,0.0,0.10808691455194903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628337820162048,0.0,0.06834967914613824,0.10087303082757423,0.0,0.0,0.13248605357756693,0.0,0.10635042177409236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783664747590767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576515835852274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305600360889325,0.2504761104578004,0.19828439031318948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16989421824449835,0.058755669066037526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312840460865025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100443249491875,0.0,0.0,0.12119937976843605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681802287813309,0.0891753756534988,0.09275620027114254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744020926213473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368981062657367,0.0,0.0,0.2447065852968237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563998625357192,0.24081357644798124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517258003872294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128187066133202,0.09604421734493858,0.0,0.0,0.12572765714398362,0.13767527252676934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051173847909524,0.11072435306184196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23632056915705896,0.0,0.07012780479988909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16330481741671105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923166753186853,0.14187146551086705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755474706880242,0.12213549592059572,0.1225608620626276,0.08543319058361708,0.0,0.0,0.07744706610860103
mentalhealth,Cavenge,2019/01/04,"What do I do when I am feeling suicidal I have struggled with suicidal thoughts for a few months. Every day I battle the feeling to kill myself. My therapist thinks I am in danger sometimes. I say I think that I don’t want to kill myself but I have the feeling that I do. I kind of hid that from my therapist because I don’t want to get hospitalized. I’m a bit confused if I want to or not. I’m trying to battle the thoughts but they are still there.

What can I do to help stop this feeling or to comfort myself?",1.4580555555555534,3.2913020277777782,3.4812592592592613,89.3396666666667,79.64814814814815,6.171851851851853,25.61481481481481,7.1686216300943375,1.1441859259259255,401,16,86,5,10,136,57,108,0.249,0.602,0.149,-0.9223,0,0,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,0,1,0,3,9,5,2,5,0,12,0,0,0,0,20,26,6,4,4,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,1,8,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,5,20,2,12,24,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,5,65,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146669978863601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817208713853279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734682347478004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024175274227574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33664956242393473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696353333711075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156828343414342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683057054423544,0.1733326156965143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328592271608755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236814442871378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462383295756408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292761041758094,0.1391600984886744,0.0,0.174010237050793,0.0,0.3641397334920993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865237952489831,0.0,0.2133095607371112,0.0,0.2642862604987482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130089855952516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945305102919916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,newkidontheblock00,2019/01/04,"Scared of my own thoughts, lost, possible solipsism syndrome Hi everyone, I am a 18 year old currently struggling with existential crisis. Three days ago I developed suddenly out of the blue, thoughts that I am the only being ‘real’ on this world. Something made me search the internet about it and a bunch of philosophers made me afraid of everything I had experienced in my life. I have been trying to fight it constantly on my own, with my mom’s help and my girlfriend’s help, since they too have suffered from similiar problems. The more I think about it the scarier it becomes. It made me doubt this world, people, emotions, thinking, history (if it happened at all or I just made it up), it doesn’t matter how many good arguments people have the subconscious doesn’t settle down. The only reason I am searching the web is because my mind is programmed to ask google for problems. I am having constant anxiety, loneliness, agony/ going through hell every second of my day. Deep down in me I know these thoughts are just thoughts, but it’s an ongoing battle between ‘me and myself’ and it’s not doing me any fagors. I am seeking help to make this pain go away, noz someone to explain to me why that might or might not be true. I just want to get my life back because these 3 days felt like another man’s life. Thank you in advance",5.3445238095238095,6.771859960317464,5.462857142857144,80.83214285714286,68.44444444444444,8.457142857142857,32.650793650793645,8.841846274778883,2.7755222222222216,1058,47,192,18,18,333,154,252,0.142,0.789,0.07,-0.9414,1,0,1,0,1,0,29.0,0,1,1,2,8,16,3,4,11,0,21,4,0,7,2,43,43,9,0,4,9,1,1,1,1,2,4,0,0,1,17,7,0,0,10,0,0,3,4,12,0,2,12,3,30,4,30,27,5,28,1,2,1,0,12,14,1,6,12,132,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370752520009283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188795033812269,0.11084850411500856,0.08086957662756636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882667719854912,0.0,0.0993201322306282,0.08128618971977097,0.0,0.12888240442148646,0.1167508671194365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284747596664747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452695433957555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891204501327512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906712414693323,0.10101257848470056,0.09500734773725483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150033127348712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055230283910003564,0.0,0.1201574077914107,0.08866641403238537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348098745698458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21257006470285436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809668419606445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22400305076077864,0.05164566224905192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153974009767792,0.0,0.0,0.4001099217611372,0.07056374314106251,0.1071756223149984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22428796873256773,0.1067392303621872,0.12380890148122416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092721642450012,0.0,0.0,0.16079784891368953,0.1124852799301651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657511791143182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917467054356952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230467980085146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032367600787228,0.0,0.10868979226032646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583639699720154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744625989595806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956964053297886,0.08138244937451762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051338908122632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732563056255088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354722738157342,0.0,0.33569485141032274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177167393385736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235181989262294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538885691393767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807521864706001
mentalhealth,Kneebow,2019/01/04,"I am riding out a manic high For the past month i was on a depressive low. I cut everyone off and stayed inside every day.. I was irritable and cried constantly i begged to feel better, but i already know the drill. Ride it out until you feel a little better. 
This week im on a manic high i just thought hey.. I feel a little better this week. Look at me feeling okay until I caught myself talking so fast my own tongue couldnt keep up. My thoughts are so fast all i can do is lay down until the wave passes and then continue on. Im tired I've lived this way for a long time. Ive seen counselors,ive seen psychs. No one has an answer for me. Just take this med that makes you feel horrible. Thats your option.
Thanks for letting me vent :)",0.1475017088175008,2.426444720779223,2.0528708133971314,94.78088516746412,88.8051948051948,4.800546821599453,16.546821599453178,6.339386263674448,-0.3464883116883115,573,13,126,6,19,189,101,154,0.127,0.737,0.136,0.5346,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,0,3,4,8,1,0,10,1,11,1,0,1,1,22,27,10,0,1,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,9,0,0,4,2,3,0,1,7,8,20,5,17,18,2,35,0,2,3,0,5,14,0,1,15,77,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535813751448293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692628497237489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15039706922376572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287551198946653,0.08975536890767465,0.0,0.11986989815442185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172596435198582,0.13298620627514138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518514182567597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940888057134877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006624406526608,0.0,0.0,0.12370376690315105,0.0,0.0,0.07648609454682684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231429331492804,0.0,0.0,0.2789767405020403,0.12289271597022468,0.12316413358309773,0.11687065563295833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289936601632974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459034092515553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108692889654567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430753911177826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285681647171854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483403919661787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464112243280399,0.1118623562742362,0.0,0.12813222448142875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22097636465105056,0.08115316439907794,0.15995942034712146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046941546837044,0.2232731114392883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tall_boizz,2019/01/04,"I have a lot of problems remembering names and faces of people who I'm supposed to be familiar with Im currently 20 (M), I have always had problems recognizing faces of anyone who isnt immediate family or my girlfriend, but members from my group therapy I have a lot of trouble recognizing and I hate when someone is saying hi to me on the street and I cant recognize them, Ive been in the therapy group for the past two years and have had very in depth conversations with these people and I forget their names and what their faces look like. I also have this trouble at my job and more often than not I can't remember any of the names of my coworkers, I feel really guilty when someone daps me up and asks how I'm doing but I cant recognize their face or remember their name. I dont know if its normal or serious or what, I also have lapses in memory mostly for small things; moving something then searching for it for hours, not remembering at all how it ended up where Id moved it. Ill have similar issues having the same conversations repeatedly with my girlfriend and shes pointed it out. I often feel really groggy and confused, alot more than normal recently, I used to drink heavily and smoke marijuana heavily as well, Ive been concerned about how those affect memory so I havent used as frequently. I have significant difficulty retaining information when I study for class, once or twice I've caught myself studying for a class I had 1 or 2 semesters ago when I sat down to study for my current classes. At this point I feel like such an inconvenience and I'm concerned that my memory and recognition are going to get worse as I age, my grandma has alzheimers and its a fear that I may end up the same way. Im going to work on adjusting a better sleep schedule and reduce my substance intake, which Ive been steadily doing for the past 2 years. Also going to work on ways to remember names",7.604609849019332,6.684383404825738,8.358540990546071,70.10197685903768,63.47721179624665,11.927698603076054,34.913080287850995,11.20814326018867,3.888499195710456,1522,57,282,38,19,515,186,373,0.124,0.835,0.041,-0.9841,3,0,3,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,5,3,17,12,1,2,14,0,32,7,5,6,1,69,50,39,0,5,11,0,3,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,18,19,1,1,11,1,0,6,8,8,1,2,8,5,43,4,46,40,9,48,0,0,1,0,23,20,0,15,22,202,61,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176716628305998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22129822038946328,0.07675292000543874,0.0,0.0,0.06272787565880368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449790798365335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623402795497209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158075142690754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081071999197504,0.09036226285283107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339846361106647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695775974192682,0.1037981472257856,0.13992132055599607,0.06589786348565492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04819275505021446,0.0,0.15727014541323078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107009955011416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084001017487456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927486222328106,0.0962769169086752,0.09153617442969823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050693914144147284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012978293685207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746023663164256,0.0,0.0,0.1568420810087916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19607777287796166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807555899115038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982349584411316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611128107890686,0.12789828792972216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743974346098949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765267021810222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818546179411216,0.0,0.09107806833194168,0.0,0.5224622930425024,0.0,0.0,0.07335471911169647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230884055205134,0.0,0.15631307465938146,0.07101257082950152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21097404500081848,0.0,0.061281635099471626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901072498420176,0.0,0.0,0.15933533065470187,0.0,0.07610949545189431,0.0,0.14643516828746328,0.0,0.0,0.08293683751020793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430687581027892,0.0,0.09400270705659636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880193636496347
mentalhealth,lahekas1324,2019/01/04,"Survey about social media and mental health Hi!

It would be great if you would fill this survey.

Thank you!

[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSegj7lvlfp29kHsTv5uGdh42L5dTUJVXfx-wkAgHSosi5Roiw/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSegj7lvlfp29kHsTv5uGdh42L5dTUJVXfx-wkAgHSosi5Roiw/viewform?usp=sf_link)",50.72357142857143,65.3613240952381,21.29559523809524,-48.26517857142855,-1.4761904761904816,4.0047619047619065,10.011904761904765,5.985473137389443,-0.7938666666666667,310,1,15,1,4,62,18,21,0.0,0.716,0.284,0.8198,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090019365900931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943297421280619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738561759387151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3781629319662285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415445136606952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.527060880853659,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,endofthegame,2019/01/04,"Intrusive thoughts are just intrusive thoughts, they are just thoughts Say it with me now, 

'Intrusive thoughts are just intrusive thoughts, they are just thoughts' 

Groans. This is awful. Just want some peace and quiet ",6.629571428571433,10.38504331428572,2.9939285714285724,89.18232142857146,73.0,8.071428571428571,37.32142857142857,8.841846274778883,3.7957142857142863,176,10,29,4,4,45,19,35,0.075,0.804,0.121,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,15,12,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,3,0,1,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634566975291454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9790730132970388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123507193185265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TacoTheTin,2019/01/04,"I need help I had a lot of problems with mental health when I was younger and I still some what do i am also autistic. 

On a daily basis I can get angry at nothing or anything and flip out at the slightesting thing, my memory and vision is becoming worse and worse my mood can go from happy to angry in an absolute instant and back I take it out on everything around me, I live with my fiance and her daughter who I love as if she was my own and I don't want to be like this around her.

Does anyone know what the hell is going on with me. ",1.4807826086956517,3.0494983391304373,3.465434782608696,90.69989130434786,78.65217391304348,6.339130434782609,21.065217391304348,7.1686216300943375,0.4852782608695652,419,11,93,5,10,142,78,115,0.16899999999999998,0.7120000000000001,0.119,-0.7369,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,1,0,5,0,11,2,0,0,0,22,19,12,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,14,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,0,19,3,18,15,3,15,1,0,0,1,7,10,1,4,4,75,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980159488664786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972369788380104,0.0,0.1644406102590421,0.35577682536946104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536546430135654,0.0,0.0,0.22069324285719236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486997092413453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959163974299147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440136986351256,0.0,0.2271325998090667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21271957747766135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21240677684818804,0.0,0.0,0.1339398386527448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098197037060391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762538782337704,0.0,0.17645091876429714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988578565907267,0.18035168640150875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013786353202408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148169202578281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917394140804406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912074699400799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958211548836138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024504949723114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275619219516438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786315313678472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072816080907359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,omamuzo123,2019/01/04,"SpiceInsight Daily, 005 – The Simple Tips to Improve Your Health | The 8 Best Pregnancy Books to Buy in 2019 SpiceInsight Daily, 005 – The Simple Tips to Improve Your Health | The 8 Best Pregnancy Books to Buy in 2019

Here's our first daily newsletter for this year - 2019, and we looked at the baby girl that survived Ebola even though her mother was infected, and we looked at some helpful books for pregnant couples (if your wife is pregnant, you are pregnant too )",3.377764705882353,6.382159776470591,3.4120588235294136,85.73926470588238,80.64705882352942,6.223529411764706,24.970588235294123,7.554174236665415,1.6246705882352939,371,14,63,6,10,113,51,85,0.033,0.7559999999999999,0.21,0.9524,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,3,4,0,4,4,2,0,0,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,6,5,4,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,8,2,10,4,3,6,0,0,2,0,12,4,0,2,2,39,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5253960282411633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27697707875763194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533564665217446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21292418579319908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5321622117139877,0.0,0.0,0.16778589137248465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204156997989876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24594057971488575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611994791981692
mentalhealth,throwmeawayxx009988,2019/01/04,"Finally got something useful out of a depression self-help book - I used it as kindling! We recently moved to a place in the sticks. Log burner. Septic tank. The whole shebang. We couldn't get logs delivered over Christmas so my bf took some old pallets from work (asked if it was OK first!).

The wood is a bit damp so its a job to get the fire going. Looked through my books to see if there was any I could live without, and there it was... a book about depression. I've had it for years. Read it a few times but it never helped. 

Today I'm feeling low. Some of my kids have gone to their dad's for the weekend. I've got a mountain of papers to put into a bundle for court in less than 2 weeks for the divorce finance hearing. Instead, I'm on reddit sat in front of a roaring fire that was started by that book about depression. 

It's therapeutic. 

It's not getting the paperwork done. But it is helping.",0.7712220566318955,3.1656189016393483,2.291249379036266,93.45106184798807,86.75956284153006,5.075906607054148,22.52583209140586,6.574015621080383,0.5598437158469949,701,26,148,8,22,227,118,183,0.1,0.853,0.047,-0.8838,1,0,1,0,1,0,27.0,2,0,1,2,7,5,0,0,16,1,11,0,0,2,1,19,30,8,0,4,6,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,12,5,0,0,1,6,1,6,4,4,0,1,11,6,8,1,28,17,6,26,0,4,2,0,11,9,0,4,11,93,20,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122614308126496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915883425933775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251052673547678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884818077409808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3846244070447119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232980253946826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526529189755829,0.0,0.0,0.1630627943959721,0.0,0.12661553494386196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23331094829649465,0.0,0.0845974248546427,0.0,0.2381050332985037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776980451888313,0.0,0.2993220377434231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771509145841488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144122290893995,0.0,0.1250002636632065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820874279531486,0.0,0.0,0.11480574276673135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619772477277347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552123762227174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496398548172445,0.0,0.0,0.14889475072739305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697582979984794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186177392165379,0.0,0.15528767469703916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459544229514687,0.0,0.0,0.10535995902069996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867982376931884,0.0,0.1410966311311079,0.0,0.1653827916743271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571249354351421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940207594311185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619069828585556,0.0,0.1434903958406825,0.0,0.10836782598472157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585739738918876
mentalhealth,theafterhourspecial,2019/01/04,"What’s the best way to approach professional help? So for the last few years I’ve been struggling a lot. And it’s gotten to the point that I really think I need some sort of professional help. I never liked the idea of therapy because paying for someone to care felt strange to me. 
I don’t want to get into specifics about how I’m feeling over the internet. But I feel I need some kind of professional help. Would going to my doctor be the best course of action to start? Or would a mental health professional be better? Would a mental health professional be able to diagnose if I had something like bipolar disorder for example? Would a mental health professional be able to prescribe medication if needed? I’m not saying I would need medication and I’m not seeking it but I’m just curious because I would like the easiest course of action to help and I don’t want to have to bounce between different people. ",4.548171428571429,6.460389502857147,5.6701428571428565,76.67435714285716,71.11428571428571,8.885714285714286,29.07142857142857,9.424239791934726,2.7775142857142865,733,29,132,17,14,243,92,175,0.039,0.762,0.199,0.975,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,4,9,0,1,11,0,15,8,0,1,1,35,34,10,0,14,8,0,3,3,0,6,8,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,1,4,5,1,0,0,4,4,12,8,24,20,6,12,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,7,7,86,16,8,0.20826291790994605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695514173138606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21855908354552508,0.09209581329241992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616896240253408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056912388893066,0.0,0.1087952113566867,0.11934367348892007,0.10658296066813694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053039888957895,0.0,0.09998253059018758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0544043894365012,0.0,0.059180307834524486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33206061438776696,0.0,0.0,0.2791884877622772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755174223541764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843689032097306,0.0,0.08488103728899013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15262011288671906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852884262730684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098029794240633,0.31482005593824663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30884862948074826,0.08031260064689222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219164226594056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843788697447846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670927904495261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280951569171875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823024725319198,0.08016548450633004,0.0,0.0,0.07370478261000778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886081026343628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908339846164676,0.0,0.0,0.06672323425431992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283886488942808,0.08265470519800973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44383200458459376,0.0,0.0,0.06705724548301316
mentalhealth,borkjewfro,2019/01/04,"Empty feelings The holidays are usually a tough time for most people, not excluding myself. Since the new year has begun i’ve felt just.. nothing. I feel emptiness and I usually do after this season but now that I have a partner, I have to be more careful about what i say and how I act. When i’m feeling empty i usually act cold out because I want to feel emotions desperately, like it’s a drug i’m addicted to. And the day after i feel immense feelings of regret or sadness because i know i was acting cold, but not until after the day has passed. I am just wondering if any of you had any advice for this or if anyone else experiences this empty feeling. Thanks. ",3.9029545454545485,5.343506416666672,5.64890909090909,78.07336363636367,71.95454545454545,8.007272727272726,29.86666666666667,8.548686976883017,2.4596157575757585,525,22,95,9,10,180,82,132,0.134,0.732,0.134,-0.2749,0,0,1,1,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,7,0,10,2,0,1,0,28,25,12,0,4,10,0,8,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,10,1,0,4,2,3,0,0,3,11,14,3,13,21,2,21,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,6,17,68,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16131251489916254,0.0,0.1445975955888437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20125355725300234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034662283774095,0.15161592219688355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804060502152688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086843196173902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086080917761067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160181153241874,0.0,0.12361253314978199,0.1664498149313608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447460804515849,0.0,0.0,0.5237374995082112,0.0,0.14207737621582114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813221430300108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229217967282096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429133369639378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198417524488913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025859123319952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767414413030408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240487306813162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623374481034334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628430150214265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4889143750740628,0.0,0.08727836511937878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047050911943928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528982151429717
mentalhealth,Subsanic,2019/01/04,"I feel like I'm going insane I haven't left my house for a couple weeks, theres no motivation to and I've been off work for surgery and out of school for winter. My bedtime during classes used to be me going to bed around 2 or 3 and waking at 7-730 but now I go to bed at 9-10 am and wake at 7-11 pm on the regular. I know about my teenage ptsd triggers but this isn't it. For the last 2 years, I've accepted that I will die an early age, but I feel crazy and threatened right now. I feel I won't make it til school starts this upcoming semester and my anxiousness is skyrocketing. I have a post-surgery appointment in a few hours and I've had this surgery before and have met with this doctor at least 20 times now but I'm freaking out. It's just to get out stitches but now it seems like I need to climb pikes peak to get there. I need to shower beforehand but my sister is in there for work, but I don't remember when I last batheed and this doctor looks at feet so I need to bathe. My sense of dread is hitting me hard and stress is very real to me now which is scaring me because I am usually good at handling it. Maybe I'm going through an episode. I don't have a counselor I think I need one.",2.347501512401692,3.1542230766283548,3.827904819520068,92.08520871143378,74.93869731800766,7.1805605968945345,24.84795321637427,7.475848149327749,0.8719915708812258,937,29,224,11,19,311,138,261,0.14,0.807,0.052000000000000005,-0.9721,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,4,13,8,0,3,8,0,19,5,3,4,0,41,44,21,1,4,9,1,4,2,0,2,2,0,4,0,12,15,0,0,9,1,0,5,6,4,0,1,3,5,28,4,35,37,2,39,0,0,1,0,2,16,0,2,20,135,40,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714229215987848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594764529637695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939750015503758,0.0,0.11083079629919468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411607840229518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517605736724658,0.0,0.0,0.2666271100410476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19757073311066686,0.093048644392097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360975998233693,0.0,0.2960900006970063,0.10924519376377027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667593147537522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826728146013994,0.15028781165932115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158046923735373,0.21233774636939284,0.0,0.0,0.14151399231920464,0.0,0.0,0.12726443131883414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937486637081012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694103484693393,0.0,0.1308508450930517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863066713589991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825889126955347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474083900090124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225203738593246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824985811479865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754471705800928,0.11123041948041262,0.0,0.0,0.13040019519674648,0.2636342928794204,0.0,0.11857218295078603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218965705362003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491977575048607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345716336973344,0.0,0.0,0.07594820499333632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249178453573047,0.1434489184238292,0.10746760217357987,0.0,0.0,0.10447646843259607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896430637603998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838749433228773
mentalhealth,sheardphotography17,2019/01/04,"How photography is helping my fight against depression Hey all,

Over the last couple of years i've been using photography as a way to help me fight my mental health and a couple of photo websites picked up my story after I made a YouTube video about it. If you are interested you can read the article here: [https://petapixel.com/2018/12/31/how-this-photographer-is-using-his-camera-to-combat-depression/](https://petapixel.com/2018/12/31/how-this-photographer-is-using-his-camera-to-combat-depression/)",23.11,25.838739333333343,14.630000000000004,25.79500000000005,30.66666666666667,12.0,36.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,4.113166666666666,440,10,45,6,3,114,49,60,0.136,0.748,0.116,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,2,0,43.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,2,0,5,0,4,1,0,4,1,7,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,7,1,9,4,1,6,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,1,3,31,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5505272312502157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4285372331575234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644350484749455,0.0,0.0,0.33349583523108844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278395182308592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23539590239664196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25070560357302696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488412461860957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148607961215008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19746516173876502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020225095882512
mentalhealth,anon_yyy,2019/01/04,"Early signs of paranoid personality disorder? I’ve been looking at it online and I think I might identify with some of the symptoms. My therapist, who I see for depression, is away for the holidays, so I won’t be able to see her for a little bit, but I am going to ask her when I next see her.

I am very distrustful of everyone. I used to have a big group of friends, and went out partying and stuff all the time, and my drug use was a bit out of hand. I was using weed, MDMA, ketamine, speed, cocaine, 2-CB around the ages of 14/15 pretty regularly. I stopped that around July, and also isolated myself. I went into a depressive episode after stopping my drug use, and didn’t leave the house for around 3/4 months. After I got out of the episode, I started trying to see my friends again, but i noticed i would get needlessly paranoid. I was convinced that when i was walking to town to meet them that they had set me up, and were getting their friends to hide where i was meeting him and get them to beat me up / mug me.

I also live fairly rural. Ever since I got out of the episode i’ve been thinking lots about how if someone came to rob or murder us, it would take a while for police to come and we have no neighbours so moving our bodies or whatever would be easy. After i started thinking about this I’ve always made sure there is a knife nearby in my room in case anyone came in. 

Whenever I hear a car pull up outside or in our drive way, I always go up to the windows and watch them with my air rifle nearby in case they are coming to rob or murder me. 

Usually when I get the feeling that something is wrong I can tell that it’s just me being crazy, and that it’s not serious, but i’m worried that soon I won’t be able to tell if it’s just my brain being mental or an actual threat, and that I’ll go and shoot some gardener or plumber  with my air rifle. ",5.557533258734303,4.8835057206266335,6.3729876911600165,81.85544821583989,67.51174934725849,9.279572298893447,31.031828919557377,8.563005593585519,2.1810935969165732,1453,49,306,19,21,482,196,383,0.16899999999999998,0.736,0.095,-0.9842,0,0,4,3,0,0,40.0,4,0,6,1,20,13,4,0,17,0,30,6,3,6,3,66,65,33,2,5,14,0,2,0,4,6,3,1,3,1,16,29,0,2,4,2,0,14,5,8,0,0,17,9,54,5,53,37,6,63,0,2,6,0,27,26,0,12,21,216,70,0,0.1729467685344748,0.0,0.08438554910917925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830546831307305,0.14390556589744907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604642008859828,0.0,0.0,0.2309389362598271,0.08084094124104567,0.0,0.08124459104881224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18881307841931008,0.09605243589185793,0.0,0.09653289530744832,0.0,0.1978050296585961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897832733901106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895879831736072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910599007292832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005633445349428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822012676439577,0.0,0.08262902440281658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04372354131999622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20042736653509008,0.0,0.18071509688926046,0.0,0.1474344511769804,0.0,0.13832132978499675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746178876331506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977867530557888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156282816799008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666904840893361,0.07635758257381198,0.0,0.07261586390613517,0.0,0.0,0.0735165789865205,0.0,0.08182320703262078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714483258433547,0.0917345954319366,0.0,0.0,0.06902223031790042,0.0919075224236261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196542518736256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845052112998166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550522370823261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797451954258992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275632366056742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153167705715534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326861787289181,0.06657143591623599,0.0,0.0,0.12241261292083375,0.0,0.0,0.14459124253848615,0.0,0.0,0.0989913364100617,0.0,0.0,0.08150014130140444,0.08987895632114135,0.06501722322350749,0.0,0.15116309863652244,0.0,0.0,0.10040226406977276,0.0,0.16622595898867376,0.0,0.0,0.050423325766761486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587097516554329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401683408650723,0.29874095895891994,0.09523821590265327,0.07134959824589134,0.0,0.06863854742660723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603233871109878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781791924134075,0.0,0.18428463342253476,0.09454507087694178,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HappyWithMe2527,2019/01/04,"I don’t think I feel anything A sophomore at my school just died. It’s break of course. So they can’t close an already closed-up school. We still go back to school on the 7th. I didn’t know him. Supposedly he got ran over by a Tractor or crashed his ATV and died in the hospital. What’s concerning is how I really just can’t bring myself to care. When my dad was showing me the Email, I didn’t feel anything about it. I simply didn’t care, especially not with Finals coming up. He asked me if would care if he died and I said I would. But I know I didn’t mean it. Everyone, even people who didn’t know him, seem to feel sorry. But I can’t bring or force myself to it. I’ve even joked about a person dying would make things so much more interesting. How everyone would be acting all depressed and stuff. But everything is just as boring as before! Nearly nothing is thrilling anymore! I used to do fencing, But I was just faster than anyone and kept winning and it all became boring. There’s very few times I’m in the mood of anything. I’m going in circles, aren’t I? Waste of a Reddit post ",1.076297935103245,3.2757359734513294,2.59754424778761,93.21159660766962,83.07079646017701,5.359587020648967,19.593657817109143,6.6274283507984215,0.09875870206489656,854,23,186,9,24,278,127,226,0.117,0.799,0.084,-0.7492,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,1,1,16,11,0,0,9,0,21,0,0,4,2,43,47,20,4,6,13,1,3,0,0,4,0,1,0,1,9,9,0,2,9,2,0,7,11,3,0,0,11,4,25,7,23,31,5,24,0,1,0,0,14,9,0,5,6,120,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046664340212353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082626622388356,0.07633092883276117,0.0,0.2695012666213003,0.0,0.1020548364523942,0.0,0.0,0.08394139146278312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928916455374491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33390395273254564,0.0,0.0,0.09403625562819684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940239287608942,0.0,0.4531854619977821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420532645732376,0.0,0.0,0.20862427978185816,0.09811074914136277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655917950742305,0.0,0.0,0.1195852703288556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408233230446085,0.0,0.08730947755169242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998321218907065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286869770256338,0.0,0.0,0.11891303462768517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024906973327718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104747067192431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756814865706179,0.0953189453085275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455019892877844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993409829323276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038412163876372,0.0,0.0,0.3314433907822933,0.0,0.09938000589233348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220163643237705,0.0,0.0,0.08717956427444228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496817197377436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252458682409578,0.06994872811681306,0.0,0.0,0.06365517503277003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428378504796596,0.0,0.09007282038214784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31019164029025736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IshMeKiki,2019/01/04,"What would you do ? If your SO tells you she wants to talk on the phone because she can’t stop crying, can’t calm down, and is seeing black spots with tingly sensations In her hands ? ",6.023513513513514,5.324713108108114,5.019594594594596,92.02506756756758,66.56756756756758,8.481081081081081,23.90540540540541,7.1686216300943375,0.5257675675675673,143,2,33,1,2,42,33,37,0.142,0.8009999999999999,0.058,-0.5204,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,1,0,0,6,7,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,5,6,0,4,0,0,2,0,9,3,0,1,1,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26797637693648657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4828804934353277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35030467324528136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675256915303376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35333422005653503,0.3842302022231325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592877571647144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122795735433478,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rubatosisX12,2019/01/04,"Left my meds in the car - will they be fine? I bought my meds yesterday and left them in my car. Completely forgot until tonight. My car is parked in the sun, and it’s been ~32 degrees Celsius the last couple of days (about 90F). I know that the temperature inside of cars gets a lot higher than outside. The medications are meant to be stored at <25C or <30C, respectively.

Has anyone done this before? Did you really need to dispose of the medication and replace it? Or is this just a precaution but it’ll probs be okay anyway? I just spent $60 :( ",1.7014593817397523,4.343691252336448,3.0592523364485977,87.78918044572252,85.07476635514018,6.282961897915169,20.380301941049602,7.61054688173877,0.8954836808051763,432,13,86,8,13,140,77,107,0.036000000000000004,0.903,0.06,-0.3313,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,2,0,4,3,0,0,8,1,12,2,0,0,0,13,19,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,7,0,10,3,12,7,1,15,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,3,5,57,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031397304812333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292601069095174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253948801572461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23786330315076734,0.0,0.13863966521529386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199918010023377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123144100358838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814342329209318,0.1752315157855741,0.0,0.0,0.4671371304058779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827621784534638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4775726148132205,0.43312493903248855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939959978325027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377170738879051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,melvvay,2019/01/04,"Wanna talk? Hello everyone . After all the shit that went down in 2018 and the shit I’ve went tru, I wanted to say that if you are going thru sum shit, I am always open to hear what your going thru . use me as a journal if you want to. My goal is to lead you to the right path . My ears are all open to you .",0.16754901960784352,1.4762849705882353,2.3652941176470605,98.29049019607844,81.64705882352942,5.121568627450982,14.274509803921573,5.46131890053228,-1.1512431372549021,230,2,59,1,6,78,45,68,0.0,0.8190000000000001,0.181,0.9231,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,5,0,2,0,3,3,0,4,0,4,4,4,2,2,12,12,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,2,3,10,0,13,10,2,11,0,0,0,0,9,5,3,2,1,39,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805741119354544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073674163828306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466695889436873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24459201204375985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532987798763376,0.0,0.17257927462473985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6682892516951107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442867543037913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18743153896213985,0.0,0.0,0.2560024898257428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40235070922387295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HelioS001,2019/01/04,"Is this the right psychotic diagnosis for a man? I was diagnosed with psychosis because of my ""obsessions with a woman and a man"" (unnamed, and reasons unnamed either)

I was just wondering for my sake, if it's right to give me a diagnosis as psychosis due to those obsessions.

​

Thank you,

\~Helios",6.425909090909091,8.239457363636369,7.15068181818182,68.28602272727274,66.27272727272727,10.590909090909092,41.02272727272727,10.686352973137794,5.164727272727271,245,15,38,7,4,81,39,55,0.07400000000000001,0.877,0.049,-0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,5,0,3,1,0,1,0,9,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,6,1,8,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071117049102038,0.34441576410937297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17278497184519773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876899271147548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719055332464879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914278761303125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841196476142009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26095736515857465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30738317664071524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34441576410937297,0.0
mentalhealth,mnsaziz,2019/01/04,"World Most Renowned Trauma Specialist The Body Keeps the Score: mental, brain, mind and Body in the TRauma Treatment’,  our knowledge of traumatic stress, remind us how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas of pleasure, engagement, regulation, dependence and trust. In his PTSD Relief Therapy series, he shows how these areas can be reactivated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZxDxDbBMF8",16.17183908045977,17.54241848275862,11.887931034482758,44.26683908045978,45.206896551724135,15.319540229885053,45.195402298850574,14.06817628641468,7.352016091954023,344,15,36,11,3,98,47,58,0.168,0.653,0.17800000000000002,0.1832,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,4,0,2,4,4,3,0,10,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,4,4,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,0,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5210466906112119,0.0,0.5236529939927131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20847175177727806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23636322286015596,0.0,0.236820611418914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741671068225431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686671273621887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682192762368619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821252093473679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TossedRubbish,2019/01/04,"Bulimia Scare I've been struggling with serious bulimia for a year now. I told a counselor when I was in High school, which got me referred to a Mental Health Worker that set me up for a therapist. When I graduated HS, though, the process to follow through with the therapist fell. I've called them two times and nothing back. I gave up on that.

Now that I'm in College it got worse. I binge everyday, and usually purge about five times a day, five days out of the week. 

Last night and tonight there was blood. I'm scared, and on the 7th will be going to a drop in health clinic with a friend. 

I'm just asking here to see if this has happened to anyone else. Will I be told to check into another clinic? I graduate College in two months and can *not* afford to leave at this point in time. I'm scared shitless and feel really, really alone.",2.5894642857142856,4.551891875000003,3.598238095238095,89.21342857142858,76.67857142857143,7.337142857142857,23.7,8.238735603445708,1.3149614285714284,657,21,138,12,15,211,102,168,0.135,0.845,0.02,-0.942,1,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,1,10,6,0,4,11,0,9,5,1,0,0,16,24,10,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,7,11,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,5,0,4,8,2,10,1,27,12,0,37,0,0,1,0,7,14,0,1,18,85,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543773098466996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712318934450404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143705266489696,0.13398877372996262,0.0,0.0,0.12225180013006605,0.0,0.0,0.10055364908192987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335302478737343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867097732392453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092411106591158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612097227434162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103216669708327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431930232739849,0.0,0.2091765793792438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563900880318445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27800365915309017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381651228316612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659457010231227,0.0,0.1384659851393872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178486657771682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437894185565276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271828728244435,0.0,0.12547683155215378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361941581957518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754853966786426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927691515781781,0.13234568320613774,0.10420633532726964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670864119524045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036668631322631,0.0,0.0,0.12848033849445414,0.0,0.22875818547749016,0.0,0.0,0.2499116616199561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25548553765129123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402409418463924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489537944898952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326525998262334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421125003657519
mentalhealth,Cbb_girl,2019/01/04,"Why can I draw blood on others with my nails but not myself? I want to draw blood on myself, but I can’t ",0.2700000000000031,1.3330926666666691,2.3649999999999984,99.48,80.66666666666666,4.800000000000002,12.0,3.1291,-1.7298500000000003,80,0,21,0,2,27,17,24,0.066,0.934,0.0,-0.0857,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,5,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,16,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5471398338748914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8370412189297228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jennajay1039,2019/01/04,"How do I help someone who is struggling I don’t really know where to start with this but, mental illness does run in my family and my entire family pretty much has some type of mental illness including myself. But it’s my brother I’m most concerned with. He’s always been a very angry self destructive person, he always struggled in school even though he is very smart. He says he just “forgets” to do hw or just stops trying. He barely graduated high school and he’s already failing his first semester of college. We go to the same college and I found out he even dropped a class and hasn’t told our parents yet. It’s an expensive school and he’s already $15,000 in debt and doesn’t seem to care. He also gets involved in unstable relationships and friendships and gets in the middle of things that are dangerous and things he shouldn’t be involved in.
A year ago he was feeling suicidal and was hospitalized, but released early cus they thought he was fine. My parents just staged an intervention but it never helps. He just gets more depressed and angry and does worse and locks himself in his room and hurts himself. 
It’s really damaging my parents and I am angry at him. I know I shouldn’t be and I know how he’s feeling, but he was the favorite and was given everything he’s ever wanted but just can’t stop destroying everything and everyone around him.
I’m also scared for him because I don’t trust him to be alone with himself. He’s impulsive and angry and depressed and I’m terrified he’s gonna kill himself. I’ve tried to help him but we aren’t very close due to him pushing me away and being pretty horrible to me when we were children. We may not be very close at all and do go weeks without speaking and I am angry for the way he treated me in the past and how he’s hurting my parents and my sister, but I’m still so so worried for him. 
I genuinely want him to do well and he has so much potential and could do so many cool things but if he chooses to not get better I know I can’t force him to. It breaks my heart and maybe there’s something more my family can do that we haven’t thought about yet. We’ve staged multiple interventions, got him therapy, the hospital, left him alone, didn’t leave him alone. offered advice, given him support, money, bribes, independence, anything we thought might make him want to feel better but nothing works.
I’m just so terrified he’s gonna just snap and kill himself but I feel so powerless
What do I do",3.4144464907914376,5.278928720408164,4.435057242409162,84.55185913389748,74.04081632653063,7.474365355898456,27.665505226480835,8.25429008570747,1.9219581881533097,1963,77,381,33,41,638,218,490,0.269,0.643,0.08800000000000001,-0.999,7,3,1,0,0,0,37.0,7,0,1,5,32,24,5,3,11,1,42,3,1,5,3,102,79,56,3,7,23,6,4,0,0,6,2,2,1,3,13,43,0,2,14,0,3,4,15,14,1,1,16,7,56,10,36,51,8,45,0,6,0,0,73,20,0,7,16,242,69,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191611432026028,0.0652374654164168,0.0,0.0,0.22866645875733746,0.16242767170178074,0.11770767864935495,0.12247375547123905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056235709976768,0.0655150911684913,0.0,0.0,0.06914485979342813,0.0,0.0,0.04486278654397244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301774707817111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503493648075532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875956352320715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677441158468386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288068392406259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972175149982033,0.06657082801855509,0.0,0.07032310992577799,0.1322847561939136,0.0,0.20813625205799666,0.0,0.14884723254631968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259981027980671,0.0,0.08069304265965609,0.0,0.0,0.1538012546516027,0.0,0.08365138998794816,0.0,0.05886058893864024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721034697781846,0.14798739178104134,0.0777570847059957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575697904347216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16284377318476748,0.0,0.16178339649697582,0.0,0.0,0.0779264051210703,0.07996110731452323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049125187576860935,0.07461370833695576,0.07393599950936898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148332760445441,0.07807259114071004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082014837044948,0.0,0.05676094737834597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070616320672535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268738437504761,0.0,0.07025468859378997,0.0,0.06426025461609478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974500432925775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429359395708906,0.0,0.0,0.07901341321365027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852564261080055,0.07368136416109572,0.22344599610867213,0.0,0.06699806068688237,0.07677556296024038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062356745780597175,0.056656973015099164,0.0,0.0,0.052090870592682866,0.0,0.05877300655670047,0.12305731450693724,0.0,0.15387480104384132,0.0,0.0805009090167762,0.08351465498200297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416221687845063,0.0,0.14667960498802948,0.0,0.07230664554570898,0.1752784625294566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032310992577799,0.0,0.09993225381079053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24289410055940974,0.1302245903477859,0.058416230261850874,0.059033414062246735,0.0,0.06617068090740602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094288675227478,0.0,0.05357798590896797,0.07473922429672776,0.07499952156131842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04739272233174065
mentalhealth,Throwawayhdhdjs,2019/01/04,"Feeling depressed while on zoloft I started taking Zoloft about 2 weeks ago mostly for social anxiety but also for some depression stemming from it. I'm only taking 25mg which is the lowest possible therapeutic dose but it seems to be enough to make my social anxiety a lot more manageable. My depression tends to come and go and for the first week and a bit it really wasn't an issue because I was home for the holidays relaxing. 

But as the holidays went on I started to get lonely again and then kinda depressed. New year's really threw me for a loop and since then I've been pretty depressed to the point that I can hardly get out of bed, have no energy or interest in anything really except listening to grunge alone in my room. 

I'm kinda just looking for some input on this, my doctor gave me permission to increase my dose to 50mg if I felt like it would help at any point. I'm not sure whether I should take this as reason to or not since it's definitely helping with my social anxiety and it's only been 2 weeks so far.",7.687135922330098,6.2537813058252425,8.368271844660196,71.75706796116506,63.6116504854369,11.929320388349517,34.19223300970874,11.00357731598739,3.6565044660194186,823,28,155,19,10,278,123,206,0.183,0.667,0.15,-0.7923,1,3,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,5,10,0,0,9,0,10,5,0,2,1,34,32,20,0,3,11,0,3,1,0,2,5,1,3,0,10,9,0,0,4,3,0,5,4,6,0,1,8,5,14,4,29,21,8,29,0,6,1,0,7,11,0,10,14,102,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652344287645162,0.0,0.0,0.11277606473896963,0.0,0.08707841670203544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404818826610204,0.0,0.249899139158335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960628955568897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637766483744871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887848052524673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379814858970703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4689292646749068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114524066395264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112511345042479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505750130042271,0.0,0.1045504233165646,0.0,0.0,0.09262084559923896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137799155970486,0.0,0.06188407314338744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754306947884693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597187332805056,0.0,0.109224448360594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365172491590494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053197618006327815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143925447811144,0.0,0.0,0.09257345175977004,0.0,0.0,0.07268418855029378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516558142561404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562983550291685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058704194186481,0.12275587771600632,0.0,0.11077916101697473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20927105931774986,0.11195592810813684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912836806679434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801480522253401,0.0,0.0,0.3329955729153164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541442525378118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262650279963867,0.0,0.2456127118784655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620323306707717,0.0,0.0,0.10094110435554432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773515527943518,0.0,0.0,0.07012088372145955
mentalhealth,bonevetbre,2019/01/04,"My morning aggression is hurting my marriage Every morning I wake up like a monster. I am newly wed, and this is seriously hurting my relationship. I wake up aggressive, angry with everyone that comes to my mind and every move of my husband frustrates me and makes me yell, and even I have urges to hit him. In the evening I'm mostly feeling good. 

Just a little background: I am 28 year old woman, I was first married at a very young age (21) and my first husband was physically and mentally abusive towards me. During and after breaking up with him I went in a cognitive therapy. I also went about a year ago, but this last therapist didn't help me much, just prescribed mu xanax for occasional use and lexapro the lowest dose. I quit lexapro because it was crippling me sexually and I was getting as angry as without them, and xanax makes me still very aggressive and very anxious.

I don't want to experiment now with meds because I want to have children but right now I am feeling miserable, extreme guilt for behaving like this with my husband, shame and a very low self esteem.

What do you think I should do?",6.3636574746008705,6.9027509245283065,6.855849056603772,74.95533381712629,65.69811320754718,9.541944847605226,37.534107402031935,9.466822959209583,3.643438606676343,884,45,157,16,13,289,122,212,0.21600000000000005,0.7390000000000001,0.045,-0.9871,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,3,9,14,4,3,8,0,16,5,2,3,0,33,30,17,0,3,5,3,2,2,0,1,3,1,0,3,6,17,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,11,0,2,7,3,31,3,23,21,2,28,0,4,0,0,14,10,0,1,15,110,37,0,0.0,0.1529333405617003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144176275503054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322161697688974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581855571029562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736643258262958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118709932448526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050627812452518,0.0,0.21750332251033608,0.12333715524211722,0.0,0.12626058984055272,0.0,0.0,0.1305288847954903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21958307949567515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743661237898269,0.0,0.0,0.10826239104400756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651657533935676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763559479213423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521374597291548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611952210205285,0.12936754313094426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17231777413883748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337376342753685,0.0,0.13007772780427654,0.0,0.13032944236344945,0.0,0.0,0.13718681108734893,0.0948853314875711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544300638555334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372876641935314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857876339694214,0.0,0.11022975707120786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465387889731262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307984731307436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147609063643716,0.14986658404515182,0.0,0.0827063575510279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114797745059644,0.0,0.4260031648160777,0.15226412799451006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393085314507953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442415936843902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662407580593581
mentalhealth,Mentalhelp159,2019/01/04,"I was bullied for all 12 years of elementary & high school and it still hurts me as an adult I was bullied from the first day of grade 1 until the day I graduated and I am now 25 and still feel like I am worthless mostly every day. I was also abused by my dad. 

On the very first day of school, a boy (we will call him Eric) started calling me gay. All of his friends joined in. I went home crying on my first day of school because I didn't even know what the word meant. I. Had zero friends in my class and every day I was called gay. Other kids did not play with me at recess. Eric would pretend to no longer hate me and become my friend only to begin bullying me again a few days later. Any friend I ever made was turned against me. In second grade a new kid named Chris moved to the city and he was the biggest kid in the class and also had fetal alcohol syndrome. Eric and his friends would convince him to beat the shit out of me and even literally stomped my head. Any time I told my dad about what happened at school he said he only wanted to hear positive news, and didn't care about anything bad that happened. I've been called every name you can ever imagine and even my own name has been mocked to the point that I get triggered when I hear my own name. My name is not common and I've only met two or three people with my name so I don't hear it often... But when I do it hurts me to hear that disgusting name that everyone hates and makes fun of. 

In 7th grade I moved schools and one of Eric's friends happened to move there too. He told everyone about how much I was hated at my old school and why I left it. At recess we would play ball tag and it was the entire class against me. As soon as I hit someone they would just give the ball to the fasted guy in the class who would hit me while they all ran away. I was held down and punched in the face and my nose bled a LOT to the point my entire face was covered in blood.

Once I got to high school, Eric and his friends also went to that school and carried the bullying there. I joined the football team and was actually pretty good. Then I injured my neck and found out I had fused neck bones from birth that caused me horrible pain when I had any contact that pushed my head back which halkens often in football.like reality altering pain that I can not explain. I was called a pussy and got harassed by all of the football players who were convinced to harass me and said I never belonged on the team anyway. 

I have played video games as my main way to escape reality since I was 8 years old. I estimate I've put on average over 15 years, 2000 hours a year except for the last 4 years of college where I have only put in about 1000.

I am no longer bullied in college and am in pharmacy school but I was abused by my dad until the age of 24 where I finally moved out all of my stuff while he was gone at work and never spoke to him or my sister again. 

Since I have been bullied and abused so much in my life I can not trust anyone. I secretly feel like every single person I interact with hates me, even if they are friendly to me. I feel like an outsider who doesnt belong. 

I'm doing well for myself. My part time job pays $25 an hour and I'm in pharmacy school with honors and will make a good living once I finish. I love giving people advice so that they can live a healthy and happier life. It is very rewarding to hear someone thank me for super simple things like ""I didn't realise my permanent stuffy nose was allergies and now I can breath again with Claritin!"" or to hear people say they can now walk again without pain after helping them find some proper extended release arthritis pain medicine. Or to prevent people from being harmed by a drug interaction.

Despite doing well, I feel guilty any time I spend money on myself. I work a lot and have a good paying pt job and make about 30 thousand a year while in school. As a result I can afford to buy myself stuff like good food, clothes, extras like headphones, have bought my own car in cash, have paid my school in cash, etc. Since I don't have any help from my parents and I don't want to get in to debt. When I spend $2 on coffee or $2000 on vacation, even though I can afford it and I work for my money, I just have this feeling like I'm an idiot and I'm indulging my stupid impulses that don't deserve to be satisfied. I deserve nothing.

Many days I want to kill myself but I know better. People out there have survived far worse. I still want to do it. I have made many plans. When I was 12 I pledged to jump off the bridge as my class biked over it for a field trip. In high school I tried to buy 20 oxycodone pills to kill myself but I was scammed. I wouldn't have taken them anyway and just gotten high. I barely ever drink but I do love opiates because they make all of my suffering go away. I do them only a few times a year and know better than to get addicted. 

I was diagnosed with ADHD and severe anxiety and i take Paxil every day which helps with the physical symptoms of anxiety but does not make my demons go away and stop tormenting me.

I have flash backs every day to my bullying. I think about my dad all day every day wishing he wasn't so terrible to me. I could write another post just as long as this one about all of the stuff he did to me but I don't have the time. He punched me in rhe dick for asking for a Gatorade once. Was incredibly vindictive and could hold a grudge for something minor you didn't even notice you did and bring it up days, weeks, months later. 

I am now on such a good path in life but every day I wake up and feel like it's only temporary after I endured so much suffering for so long. ",4.597336992681306,4.734400050470487,5.196830980895354,86.72215646088776,69.45337895637297,8.068439311852485,26.757924626936607,7.6953281115453125,1.2776076323543388,4445,123,961,46,72,1432,437,1169,0.131,0.748,0.12,-0.8387,6,0,4,0,4,2,86.0,2,3,9,16,64,64,13,0,48,0,90,34,14,11,13,155,168,88,2,14,25,6,6,8,8,8,14,10,1,7,35,57,3,4,16,12,13,18,22,25,2,10,57,18,153,39,143,97,25,160,1,5,0,5,94,58,2,12,90,631,188,34,0.0,0.11765424816820096,0.03230082137581531,0.03608388139591487,0.03977976290227341,0.03234493301789931,0.0,0.03537382938517356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941016455612136,0.0,0.03586383184989282,0.0,0.11254566167669673,0.034708231860325615,0.050642812700905065,0.0,0.0,0.023144286824781674,0.0,0.02723847641537865,0.0,0.030944028100135374,0.0,0.09329560751534123,0.05090370758470581,0.027637114082203654,0.040354900691632674,0.0365563450605628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05854851325981305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899398364796267,0.0,0.033747651933255574,0.03400281371778266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528553068886733,0.0,0.03635879136303082,0.2988546278668362,0.0,0.0,0.03359579920266556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028966029566975988,0.0,0.0,0.03242539479159981,0.03838548682060178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03691524514209837,0.13117341115429135,0.08982252420997318,0.2231053938493774,0.06325692931712965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041811516339236,0.11823321882307004,0.0,0.036259427716045116,0.03025279669791517,0.08446451909581805,0.0400246465643804,0.03629243716107967,0.2045837984858092,0.0,0.05188014529283483,0.0635050645579187,0.03762298104657337,0.1388135311806604,0.052946181105840734,0.0,0.0,0.03277420002576952,0.08781065147679988,0.0,0.0,0.13071757339375792,0.0679402905146396,0.0,0.2238366068392751,0.0,0.06655868882647498,0.13988785240995769,0.03320199480867688,0.0,0.06519365717059325,0.0,0.07086846064234156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569327725733724,0.0,0.07324048282958218,0.0,0.05457267650543154,0.02698091454734001,0.0,0.0,0.035963242516242104,0.0,0.07013851819920693,0.12936788884839492,0.0,0.05845580579714396,0.05858490974885315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628086588456666,0.05974807742178319,0.062640033101818,0.11047252181821966,0.0671164014125833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026420101024339584,0.14072022976627688,0.07299691680936486,0.0,0.05105751494885447,0.03196818240745138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031760338885274984,0.0376845648448776,0.06946575559174874,0.10575124645709212,0.04485882786462588,0.1510442310601003,0.1408829179197264,0.0,0.036753628450813966,0.03584407010985479,0.0,0.11473684778249812,0.028901639791253087,0.0,0.0,0.06258039019095772,0.0,0.0317006464954358,0.033674595607499136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654927654446463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297135206032464,0.026322445365246288,0.0,0.4354865201507744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03739357395419427,0.03397667024652129,0.08214197624096564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609103841472095,0.025481994049476042,0.0,0.0,0.023428347541987863,0.0,0.07930109871640324,0.02767307878568271,0.0,0.0,0.11367472898698586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03440356961851058,0.0248870776556407,0.0,0.0,0.03047402920307012,0.0,0.0,0.021990166567778368,0.0212091409251836,0.03252057802386118,0.0,0.0965043692883632,0.0,0.0,0.06325692931712965,0.0,0.022472724551297996,0.03600329075785299,0.032333886486124015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05462192644370733,0.07809294095664407,0.026273236156273336,0.02655082023978816,0.0,0.05952174312887961,0.06136805583545577,0.02986759802572837,0.0,0.038063361879103766,0.03190721497938738,0.0,0.07229157394720252,0.0,0.03373172374792676,0.11756643740796995,0.0,0.0,0.1492071854397921
mentalhealth,LiterallyJustCarter,2019/01/04,"Lack any passion and motivation Hello, I’m a 14 year old guy and started high school this year. Ever since September, a month into school, I haven’t felt any true heart felt motivation or compassion to do something. I used to be a very optimistic person as well, and I still am, but I’m not emotional at all. I haven’t cried in months to the point that it is concerning and have felt indifferent towards almost everything, only strong emotions really resonating. I have been cautious to pull the “oh I must be depressed” card as I see teenagers say that all the time, but I truly don’t know what to do and honestly I’m scared to ask anyone. I recognized this in myself and got really into Jordan Peterson who has podcasts about these kinds of issues, but I’ve already lost any motivation or desire to listen to them. I have told myself that it’s just puberty stuff but the more I verbalize my thoughts the more it sounds like stereotypical depression signs. I don’t know what to make of this and am hesitant to say that this might be depression. Any help would be appreciated.",5.613113730929264,6.7639037233009685,6.359251040221918,75.67766990291263,67.59223300970874,10.351733703190012,30.248266296809987,10.451354775682146,3.2364907073509013,861,32,159,23,14,283,121,206,0.147,0.669,0.184,0.7565,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,5,5,12,0,1,8,0,21,2,1,5,5,39,39,15,0,4,8,0,3,1,0,3,0,4,0,2,16,9,0,0,9,0,0,1,5,5,1,0,8,8,16,7,21,24,5,18,0,4,1,1,11,8,0,4,10,105,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915773329135106,0.0,0.13131551694345553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236866054487182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320506901640343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124559651414444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071198812981916,0.0,0.0,0.3074743462987651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677099292459626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763908148188514,0.0,0.0,0.10694631623628882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34276569502231885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517231372084048,0.0,0.0,0.11782517196346093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410113397086243,0.07976079711557371,0.12572625916759894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242013542222662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391646773199748,0.13079464922007802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813564380719824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989865764739264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943103947760387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262364048852519,0.0,0.0,0.1899636265133664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486673346312087,0.0,0.0,0.09050214541088143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390309071626057,0.0,0.0,0.11249008717211173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246431725827286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926147086551987,0.11913618317053308,0.2408614753921797,0.0948247463162227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843507462577704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160926364306914,0.0,0.0,0.08422628396067566,0.0,0.09503070083383593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622244001135306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446987152274887,0.0693877739056104,0.0,0.0,0.11370618609776875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277470695046402,0.0,0.0981845151238626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699207935221793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453164802700798,0.0,0.0,0.1532595959086679
mentalhealth,LadyinRed1990,2019/01/04,"Two inner monologues? Alright, so I know it's normal to have an inner monologue that is there more often than not, but does anyone have a second one that decided to pop in a few times a day? I don't have control over the thoughts it puts in my head and they are all very distressing and it's been causing me horrible anxiety and depression. ",5.840735294117651,5.891703367647061,6.4841176470588255,78.85352941176474,66.79411764705883,9.741176470588236,33.17647058823529,9.516144504307137,2.987694117647058,271,11,52,5,4,89,54,68,0.223,0.757,0.021,-0.9493,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,3,3,0,1,5,1,7,1,1,2,1,13,9,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,3,2,0,5,1,6,7,3,8,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,2,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22363653178533055,0.0,0.0,0.20440839519352336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003099916941096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32788010986254906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18853278176442545,0.0,0.2517888971312458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558255375825158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000214665981664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066043008572714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28642758510425936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19809469791595494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938788073862441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320824327216949,0.17046369503402095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28557016671264435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24120813078547335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QueefQueen3000,2019/01/04,"I’m breaking down I’m really fucked up and I need a friend. My boyfriend is the only person I talk to and that’s my fault, but now we’re about to break up and I need emotional support. Will anyone help me? I don’t have any true friends and have no one to confide in. ",-0.6109685230024198,1.4178069830508448,1.4971428571428582,99.34101694915256,89.33898305084746,4.727360774818402,18.59806295399516,6.18269132825596,-0.31743777239709425,208,6,51,2,7,69,44,59,0.113,0.602,0.285,0.9091,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,1,8,11,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,7,4,8,10,0,7,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,1,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19428232358788788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997645113598438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213683002381441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4414543300260447,0.26412032420810155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19149526404843245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4236782850714916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935942527932456,0.2172838394191832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494577600989593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302346357591892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242031780252217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296307324161525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Star-Sight,2019/01/04,"I have a tendency to abandon people first, before I think they'll do it to me. Does anyone else have some abandonment issues? 

I've traveled to six states in four years. Throughout that time, I have met plenty of wonderful people who have provided choice perspective regarding this large and vast world. They have influenced me in so many ways, mostly positive, and have made me feel fuzzy and warm. 

But I've reached a point where things are slowing down. The friends I keep in touch with are now a handful left, and I have made very little friends in this current state I'm living in. As I gear up to move to my seventh state - Alaska, to finish my marine biology degree - I am prepared to inevitably let go of more friends once again. 

Is this concerning? I have changed so many ways from the small, open-eyed high school graduate to a very jaded individual, and I'm not sure how I feel about myself. I was often considered a listener - I was good at keeping quiet and being empathetic to people's experiences. But, now I don't have the capacity to listen as well. I don't have the patience to sit down for conversation. I have to move. I have this urge to get to the next place - to find the greatest wilds, to depart from society into a vast quietness. To focus on only myself for once. So that I can fully focus on my dream. And my dream is my most charming part of me - now I don't have the skill to articulate it anymore. 

So, I feel like, at this rate, I will lose the rest of my friends. And when I return from my studies, there won't be anyone to greet me. Or perhaps, Alaska will be an environment I'd be able to be more patient in, more empathetic, more wise, and I 'd gather more friends once again. But I think at this rate I'll have trouble keeping relationships, especially with my travel lifestyle. 

People are beautiful. When I cozy up against them and get to know them, I can see them shine. I can see their truest stories in seconds, their deepest passions feel inspired. I make very strong, impactful connections in mere days or weeks. But sustaining those relationships, are beyond me. I think people lose interest in me at some point. As if they imagined me to be something more than I am, and was disappointed by the outcome. And similarly, I have a tendency to overestimate people and then feel slightly disappointed. 

My theory is that I have abandonment issues. And that I have to let people go first before they do so with me. Based on that, do you think so, too? Or is there something else?",5.018323529411763,6.3088169500000015,5.673799019607843,79.52933823529412,69.08333333333334,8.730392156862745,29.742647058823533,9.088552180705676,2.4625330882352943,1976,75,373,37,34,641,222,480,0.058,0.782,0.16,0.9937,1,0,2,0,0,0,67.0,0,1,9,6,22,25,0,0,17,0,51,2,1,5,2,59,79,35,0,1,9,0,8,1,5,4,0,4,0,0,16,18,0,6,14,4,0,7,5,8,1,5,6,15,61,17,65,61,13,65,0,7,3,1,23,33,0,10,20,271,77,3,0.08103283402818806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036279718391975,0.11332008331949132,0.08302771447917026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379059468154988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572199383146879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052259474269081035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091237912869956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353850698487923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926566066133274,0.0,0.0,0.20486317824444428,0.05788987282086337,0.0,0.0,0.07406254226819796,0.13785297445746866,0.0,0.0,0.31302883279771115,0.0,0.08467262254568401,0.0,0.09210565396122453,0.06796649660607389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561563816209017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691544514684093,0.0,0.2160771183542264,0.0,0.0,0.044533526390203686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804241127049876,0.16572312587259613,0.0,0.039588549579624766,0.0812161877855747,0.07155347703723039,0.0,0.0,0.18131002776267705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335045369886166,0.054090045944083946,0.16430915019672698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17225015705363916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617933828643684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588919708432361,0.0,0.06162912175778585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775066266049765,0.0,0.3932457489087393,0.0,0.08466206459990262,0.0,0.1532044405665653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399787610941592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200955417306505,0.12914535472815433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476606908196003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637248708736777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05383461427296851,0.20769027233132825,0.0,0.0,0.04725089717062577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20058172355448345,0.0,0.12864018376723746,0.06499965163221255,0.0,0.0728582494434847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787665187429605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218248834832986
mentalhealth,thesadisticpickle,2019/01/04,Any good internet tests I know that you cant rely on internet tests AT ALL. But they are fun and its nice to get a outside prespective on what you might have,1.9109090909090904,3.781606151515156,3.3606060606060595,90.5609090909091,78.3939393939394,8.036363636363637,23.12121212121212,8.841846274778883,1.5208666666666677,125,4,28,3,3,41,29,33,0.0,0.75,0.25,0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,5,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,4,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,19,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40166825833723774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085948596567209,0.0,0.0,0.4954166022245044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246106454064069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6265956766264366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bonzo0,2019/01/04,"2018 is the year of lows for me. My coworker was shot & killed while at work and I was there. Also I was sexually coerced at another point. Someone please help me right now I just don’t feel like myself. I’ve gained almost 20 lbs in 2018. 

I used to work out and eat moderately healthy but the past year has been so terrible for me. I almost died from drinking too much at my cousins wedding in the beginning of the year. 

I was sexually coerced for money at one of my jobs. It is a very lucrative job that does not require any sexual thing, but if you flirt (and drink) with client you are likely to get more money. This group of lawyers convinced me after several drinks to show my boobs and I did because I was drunk. immediately after I felt terrible and cried in my room for 5 hours and told my boyfriend what happened and he was very mad at first but was loving after taking a minute to think about it. It is still one of my deepest regrets in life. I quit this job.

My other job was very stressful this summer (busy season) and I worked 70 hours on my feet every week at a restaurant. I eventually had a mental breakdown and needed to leave one day. On top of that, I started school in August and on one of the really busy nights during the UFC fight it was packed. I was taking care of a table and I heard a gunshot go off. I hid with the rest of my table (children included) behind a wall until I didn’t hear anything except people running. I ran to the stairwell and I learned from one of my coworkers that my other coworker had been shot. Over a bar fight. He was very well loved. I watched his bloody body get CPR before whisked off in an ambulance. I never stop thinking about this day. I went to collect my belongings and saw blood everywhere on the floor. He died that night.  I can’t stand when people ask me about this (in line at the grocery store when I’m wearing my uniform, at work, when I tell people where I work). This has been a very traumatic incident for me and I’ve talked to a counselor and I was doing okay for a bit but the thoughts just keep coming back. The counselor was through the school but we had our last session and things are getting worse.

I forgot my best friend invited me to her birthday party 4 times over the past week. I showed up to her house with a gift and she said “you’re coming right?” I had to borrow all of her clothes and makeup. She was a little mad but glad I came in the end. I just feel so shitty about everything. I feel like a terrible person. 

I haven’t felt like myself in over a year. I never workout anymore (one thing I loved doing). I eat out all the time and drink much more than I used to. Everything sucks right now.

Anyways I don’t know if I’m supposed to be posting this here but I don’t know where else to post it. Someone please just help me I don’t know where to go from here. Probably a therapist but I just don’t want people to see this side of me because I’m usually a fun loving person. ",2.380072280108891,4.2209679402985065,3.5629243718514334,89.78250352013521,76.893864013267,6.474658155762072,23.649331956569355,7.354871404402295,0.8977752683125257,2320,74,489,29,53,752,276,603,0.139,0.726,0.135,-0.7617,6,0,4,1,2,0,57.0,2,2,0,11,28,29,6,1,34,1,40,18,5,2,4,72,88,37,3,5,17,1,5,4,1,0,1,3,1,3,23,28,8,4,12,9,4,8,11,12,1,7,34,11,77,17,81,53,9,94,0,2,3,5,35,43,2,4,44,327,100,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267486166925389,0.0,0.0,0.05061180464107647,0.0,0.06857308235337002,0.0,0.04303836220832442,0.06636352890732958,0.0,0.0,0.06276520330472964,0.0,0.0,0.05208105743496199,0.0,0.059166220612924286,0.0,0.0,0.04866496344991548,0.0,0.07716018578471186,0.0,0.05385386703872711,0.0,0.06641739460616078,0.0,0.06909466961209874,0.07029927565342291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238520385500123,0.06452686162867223,0.0,0.0,0.1090349078890854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951946475885458,0.0816317162178991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136697855391916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055384208225712266,0.0,0.0,0.2479946121419877,0.0,0.12951990695467872,0.05286943543065707,0.0,0.056054841546270495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533233056702784,0.0,0.11375927746265985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600172828283657,0.09042665920577174,0.12153380367826845,0.0,0.0,0.05383318072031981,0.0,0.0,0.04889655168628676,0.0,0.09919691489076053,0.0,0.07193664604730922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596582708009087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133075897899993,0.0,0.0848419185347747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465288262525195,0.07302645200520998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25121635246812696,0.05625374235445713,0.07001936772532201,0.0,0.1043451423683262,0.051588588831438964,0.0,0.06701340197384997,0.0,0.0,0.044702551628690815,0.12367829144711312,0.06343172110261854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22848143224894754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377994009974808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304868497899854,0.04692763385769329,0.0976240127379663,0.0,0.0,0.11878397292912568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573156245806316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208321025451825,0.17550515728237973,0.11052218479319892,0.0,0.13894357422953693,0.059828105767278726,0.0,0.12122581055393199,0.0,0.06823572621230835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731512878110009,0.0,0.0,0.04054424495514705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621441446253556,0.060201873140733615,0.0,0.0,0.1281027172019002,0.05043275451713605,0.0,0.0,0.07149801050206127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724831112853313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479593848544405,0.0,0.050542291890363966,0.0529120345668693,0.07249678305524726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517017772991064,0.05086891310221762,0.05531695391691383,0.0,0.0,0.0734828468693423,0.12613823664978202,0.08110545317043091,0.0,0.050244013560383036,0.07380808710423102,0.0,0.0,0.060474890714972515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932191790776452,0.06970336077701034,0.2610982755552413,0.037329207416055984,0.0,0.10153246259200037,0.0,0.056903977947423315,0.05866908985470685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303739727945009,0.0,0.06449640630061736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302292129696905
mentalhealth,laxman506,2019/01/04,"I need help and don’t know where to go Hello everyone my name is R I’m a 19 year old male. I have had a lot of mental issues my whole life. I have seen a counselor for many years but they haven’t helped to much. Recently when I returned home for christmas brake from college everything got way worse. I lost two very important people in my life, I lost the love of my life, and my family has alienated me and started making false claims. Everything is ok a downward spiral and i don’t know where to go. I want to get serious help but don’t know where to go or who to turn to. I have looked around the internet and haven’t really found anything helpful either I need a written doctors order which they don’t believe me when I try to explain what is wrong. Or I need other extreme circumstances to be put into somewhere. I lost but I’m hoping you all can help. Thank you for any advice it will all help me.
Sincerely, R",1.8376190476190464,3.874123158730161,3.426693121693124,89.19654761904764,79.3174603174603,6.73968253968254,23.198412698412696,7.793537801064563,1.1436158730158723,723,24,151,12,18,239,110,189,0.092,0.708,0.2,0.9712,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,2,3,6,10,0,0,7,1,17,5,0,1,2,29,45,12,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,5,7,0,1,5,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,8,2,25,5,18,35,6,21,0,3,2,1,16,7,0,4,8,94,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107993533731796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730153476975768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354318950770316,0.10119306582953556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807053932762555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634912735552395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861941829181757,0.2043239168720373,0.0,0.10716078326569922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246365720051266,0.0,0.0,0.059389448328013364,0.0,0.19380894835388024,0.0,0.0909146785114703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571556754741227,0.0,0.11402328254558006,0.11290293302816368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864507384918135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187415116118902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408717947232033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545668671810352,0.0,0.37226250694265306,0.0966407155600898,0.10259431628545973,0.0,0.07587760700155106,0.11524657548150676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455564301840765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356273087679278,0.25286125685409755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928068663829508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880654212784839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427275689848565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282183150797669,0.0,0.11223836917767266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045833109575694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465482155957218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717650207005011,0.12364357678835915,0.11104199900785876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379212586418277,0.06704727775262828,0.09022833257146956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269118396780255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584249349542555,0.0,0.12428357559867333,0.0,0.14640336402563753
mentalhealth,Annavelllaa,2019/01/04,"I (19/F) had depression, and now I'm scared whenever I'm sad. I'm not really sure if this is the greatest place to turn to, r/depression seems to be for people who are currently going through it, so I'm not really sure honestly. If this isn't the right place, please point me to the right subreddit, thank you!!

So, basically, for the past few years, I've had severe depression. I was suicidal, I self-harmed, I had isolated myself from everyone I loved because I thought that they all hated me, I was stuck in this dark pit which I couldn't get myself out of. Finally, after ages of my friends and family begging me to get help, I went to therapy.

Therapy helped me a lot, surprisingly. I went for an appointment once a week, and when I saw that only consultation wasn't helping, I convinced my parents to let me get antidepressants, and I was prescribed Prozac. The medication, along with consultation and major lifestyle changes, helped me a lot and I can very proudly say that I've overcome my depression. I no longer need the medication, and have stopped going to therapy as my therapist said I don't need it anymore.

I've felt happier than I've felt in ages, and I'm proud of myself for finally taking the steps to betterment.

However, now the problem is, whenever I feel sad, I'm scared. Whether I have a reason to or not, I worry that it's my depression returning and my life will be spiralling out of control again. It's as if I've completely forgotten that I'm allowed to feel sad, and it doesn't immediately mean I'm depressed, but when I do feel any sort of negative emotion I start thinking I'm relapsing and only make myself feel worse.

I don't really know what to do and how to fix this, and whether it's normal to feel this way. People who overcame depression, did you ever feel this way for the first few times? I'm insanely concerned that this isn't normal, and there's an underlying problem which I need to address.

TL;DR I had really bad depression which I overcame, but now whenever I feel sad I'm worried that it's my depression returning and I don't know what to do.",6.888427339084274,6.306527133819956,7.831188896261889,72.19120272063705,64.76642335766424,12.144260119442606,36.68668436186685,11.567385478589935,4.313612165450122,1656,74,318,48,22,562,180,411,0.212,0.7340000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.996,4,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,2,1,5,11,29,1,2,15,0,29,5,0,5,4,66,75,30,1,11,11,1,9,0,1,1,4,2,1,0,28,19,0,2,16,0,0,5,13,18,0,1,17,12,47,11,39,53,7,39,0,12,1,1,16,10,0,8,22,204,75,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04823541766223802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034435421600084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922430597829244,0.04323879438309088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273258223632876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503544562270746,0.0,0.07436965802557648,0.0,0.07955499175309469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5498338181866195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978767135949978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416102445587263,0.0,0.06777747716316887,0.0,0.0,0.06686730287088416,0.0,0.2510534211566377,0.0,0.13620949961167098,0.1554025818517449,0.0,0.060333753955654074,0.0,0.0,0.054801007097223235,0.0,0.11117534160339963,0.0,0.0806232855822149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002954017182368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017384332524104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796349217936244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253161087390228,0.05010056465300628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060576266959648,0.06401787119156847,0.0,0.047346900366625734,0.0,0.0,0.07726450149817991,0.0,0.14291075988825774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157783003549466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389943670592317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755390518118966,0.0,0.10789223180046796,0.0,0.0,0.0787603268094163,0.0,0.06771153262130795,0.0983490556914706,0.0,0.1482153053294955,0.07786078501320845,0.06705259032991424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574250871421115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817605028504865,0.07292873841359883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211491351155181,0.06747149161802199,0.05640706745904672,0.14202833128542267,0.0,0.0,0.0645727916893109,0.07399635725324556,0.080131683029494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05020522834856821,0.0,0.0,0.05930137569682116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775868491632059,0.0,0.1337029937306796,0.0,0.05333117986194839,0.0,0.0,0.06530360675669132,0.2433468630085366,0.0823561963765303,0.0,0.04544963153365696,0.0,0.05631118041577031,0.04136035533939099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715240823359139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852538863507789,0.0,0.11260323147567936,0.0568964580447422,0.0,0.0,0.13150723716237492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406746440283744,0.07228460694124535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045677148791203985
mentalhealth,michelleshelly4short,2019/01/04,"Trichotillomania: can anyone provide further insight as to what it is/how better to handle someone suffering? My college roommate has a habit of pulling out her hair piece by piece and until recently I didn’t believe it was much of anything. She warned me she “pulls out her hair when she’s anxious” but she does it all the time (scrolling on her phone, doing homework, reading, etc) for hours constantly, the byproduct ends up everywhere and, since we live in a tiny dorm, it’s overwhelming and disgusting hearing the extraction and having it pile up on my shoes that i leave on the floor. Someone pointed out she may be suffering from trichotillomania (I guess it’s the compulsive need to pull out hair) and I tried to address the issue with her to which she replied that she didn’t think she had been pulling as much recently. I told her she had and she denied everything and ignored my requests to clean up after her habit.

I’m really frustrated with her illness, mostly because of the mess it creates in our tiny space and the sound it makes that causes me a queasy stomach, but it’s also something I don’t fully understand. Is this something people are consciously aware of? Is she just denying this to save her embarrassment? How does this even start, and is there anything I can do to help her stop? And, so I don’t feel compelled to switch rooms this upcoming semester anymore, how can I approach the situation so that I’m not forced to clean up after her anymore? Any other advice related to handling the situation properly would be greatly appreciated.",7.067535563244907,7.910344152249137,6.881355247981546,74.32338619761633,64.22491349480967,9.882429834678973,36.816801230296036,9.861636050157227,3.7433989234909664,1256,60,215,25,18,397,160,289,0.14,0.768,0.092,-0.9342,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,2,0,0,1,9,11,2,2,13,0,23,6,5,5,1,40,34,21,0,2,4,0,4,0,0,2,1,2,6,0,20,17,0,2,5,1,0,5,5,8,0,0,7,6,37,3,38,23,7,35,0,3,0,0,28,18,0,3,12,160,57,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311144905634298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729989006904828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124376351435452,0.0,0.0,0.15157982848927046,0.2661315660454867,0.0938184467658617,0.0,0.22082957828046945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179198026153242,0.0,0.0,0.15116954712957945,0.0,0.1186670951684841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783493061689522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499576661981656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348353114979466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883943634112665,0.0,0.1496408589917897,0.08862147985407096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205880530504844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784303230072107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792867456317627,0.14780915269426456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122524579526006,0.0,0.08993483433941876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213558276900672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400440895860853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207220461590145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847919414960488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956301385096498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19726847797900798,0.09948923951319397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302021641245037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683897002673372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342115486213114,0.0,0.08595609379020387,0.0,0.264963722776975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109911441435311,0.30163718048274674,0.0,0.0,0.2273724890031492,0.2065893082226201,0.0,0.0,0.09496992468683813,0.0,0.0,0.11217650768664636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597407532594242,0.0,0.0,0.07823866080901604,0.0,0.0,0.12821019071878414,0.0,0.0910961797164693,0.0,0.0,0.13968115563480904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095314240036132,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ParmeseanCheezitsj4,2019/01/04,"I almost never get to do what I want before the day is over. Then I have to go through another entire day just for a blip of indulgence. I feel like I can't ""grow up"" until I get over this, but I'd rather just die. An hour in the morning is not really enough. 8 hours of work barely keeps a roof over my head despite putting myself in debt and working my ass off for a degree. It's either nonstop exhausting underpaid labor, or making 2 hours of work look like it took 8 while feeling your brain melt. Transit time is a chunk of my day, and I'm not even paid it's just wasted. It costs me just to be available for my employer. Chores and errands take up a lot of free time. Misc projects and requirements. Then there's the bullshit from your roommates because nobody can afford so much as a fucking studio apartment anymore. Often I just skip self-care every other day. 

All for maybe an hour or two of video games. Or reading. Or painting. Or chatting. Emphasis on the *OR*. 

The mythical 8/8/8 of work/sleep/personal-time does not exist. It's 12+ hours of work, and whatever indulgence you can cram inbetween bullshit. Or you can always cut down on sleep.

I've had this problem since I was in middle school. Cutting into sleep for more self-indulgence before I have to get up and do it all over again. ***It's never been enough.***

It's just not enough. Then the weekend rolls by, and it's also not really enough. Hell, a lot of the weekend is wasted on other work required for living. I feel like I'm dragging a rolling, building, growing debt like sleep debt, but with my soul.

Fundamentally, I don't want to exist because of this. I live to work, so I can work. I'm lucky to actually have 1/8th of my day doing shit I actually want to do.",1.4113660477453607,3.8283159367816095,2.9790804597701133,89.5970424403183,83.59770114942529,5.638196286472149,22.428824049513707,7.010146845296331,0.8042373121131741,1358,47,273,18,39,445,176,348,0.152,0.758,0.09,-0.9831,5,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,0,4,0,9,14,13,5,0,17,0,21,9,7,1,4,51,41,25,1,5,22,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,15,9,0,3,3,6,7,5,9,7,0,1,5,4,26,7,47,35,11,45,2,0,1,2,6,18,4,12,26,179,41,15,0.0,0.0,0.1532598365165731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863231230976611,0.0,0.0,0.06279710710771429,0.06533981154383724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234121787187139,0.0,0.0,0.07787655908569749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573727879367364,0.0,0.13363945745775016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766083713071242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25321343820259185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149745184122532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871851499251401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245528457248764,0.0,0.05186559425977983,0.0,0.06616142935943019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911511269468038,0.11219778950401103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259589827454628,0.12307957270692205,0.0,0.04462805958845699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059019379115807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866608035919658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979739823336742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534550876022325,0.0,0.13867955764466525,0.0,0.06594195065534865,0.0,0.0,0.1335197672548682,0.0,0.0,0.052416625684047466,0.0,0.07888978754116649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057725547214688866,0.0,0.12112797849566155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513864913638306,0.0,0.07894018487048009,0.0,0.0,0.0785471167625722,0.0,0.10061136176058796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947236924237308,0.0,0.0,0.16383920932912555,0.0,0.0806056735643604,0.06495740827230932,0.0,0.31433030795825184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05904167897932407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157812854470312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724512707601861,0.0,0.0,0.07670836136258649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894977187493696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4573421286832259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crumbcc,2019/01/04,"Overcoming fear of loss How do you overcome the fear of people you love dying? The thought of my parents one day not being here anymore truly scares me and I can’t seem to get over this. I’ve strugged with anxiety my whole life and have taken medication for it for 5 years, but this isn’t something that has gone away. I’m afraid of death and losing people close to me and though there are times where I’m able to forget about it, most of the time I start crying and it feels like everything is closing in on me. I don’t know how to cope with this.",2.8343859649122787,4.248054017543866,3.5307017543859662,92.3099122807018,74.6140350877193,6.470175438596491,22.3157894736842,6.937597516519254,0.4196210526315785,434,11,96,4,9,137,78,114,0.195,0.742,0.063,-0.9366,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,2,7,8,0,4,3,0,9,3,0,2,0,19,20,9,2,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,3,1,10,2,18,16,2,13,0,2,0,1,4,7,0,2,6,63,17,0,0.1878463233261229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143701923186487,0.0,0.1862930769267059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648780428772942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063403655899383,0.12114533840675183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495482650280888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688241630046693,0.0,0.0,0.42275867625686736,0.09498074522418017,0.13419745091765234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981419508668206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323542669427828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268141344100773,0.09177222509285013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015198657329814,0.0,0.0,0.1695386408119453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923540831554997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728953018683942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20858111194006265,0.0,0.0,0.26045797707291296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18806693970550697,0.0,0.0,0.17100823774159654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461327703746926,0.0,0.0,0.13295859448994993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845580589200385,0.1491289980830121,0.21906940350315732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097237116146696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096687343839152
mentalhealth,mass-produced-pears,2019/01/04,"Anyone have experience with PHP, IOP, or inpatient? What was your evaluation like? TLDR: what’s your experience with mental health and what is/was your treatment plan. Any tips?

I’m getting evaluated by some psychiatrists soon and I know that I’ll end up in one of these programs depending on how much I tell them. I’m a teen and my parents don’t know about any of my health except for a very small bit of my anxiety and some adhd-pi which they don’t believe. Obviously I’m no expert but since fourth and fifth grade I’ve noticed major signs of anxiety(2-5 anxiety attacks a day, sprinkled panic attacks), adhd-pi/add(assignments always take very long, stare at walls/random objects randomly and don’t realize), and depression(never content, constantly feel like I put on a mask, serious thoughts of...well you know). I also used to have a mild form of anorexia to my knowledge(I wouldn’t let myself eat as a form of punishment, if I looked a bit thicker, even if I was just bloated, I wouldn’t eat anything for a while or just drank water). 

I want to know your experience with psychological evaluations and treatment plans.

Thank you!!",5.345801886792454,7.12197136320755,6.164292452830187,74.46738207547172,68.85849056603774,9.262264150943397,31.646226415094336,9.673873057562805,3.175211320754717,907,39,160,21,16,298,132,212,0.102,0.848,0.049,-0.8879,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,6,2,2,7,8,3,1,8,0,10,6,0,3,1,37,26,17,0,5,8,1,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,11,4,0,7,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,4,3,21,3,23,19,8,13,0,0,2,0,10,6,0,8,8,95,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927668756902878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740574972028727,0.10134978541436516,0.0,0.0,0.1656603224233877,0.0,0.18635779814772435,0.0,0.0,0.08516743250101147,0.0,0.10023342344051847,0.0,0.0,0.2771368071046911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723017855430686,0.0,0.0,0.2659544801048171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316256833514229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855280576880333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24926958700822965,0.0,0.0,0.10788123255014316,0.0,0.0,0.08044967875505002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3574398785953403,0.0,0.0,0.061587215236631764,0.08701602913691099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363699755683815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25894161268219273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26775879380013223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455173631330432,0.0,0.11901350671018103,0.0,0.0,0.10779174973909283,0.10228377448319396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274869324633594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953915973893453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867342973469993,0.0,0.0,0.08253680969214866,0.0,0.0,0.1429094806644115,0.1352477263157787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244557503545593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007566326550386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158063596561933,0.0,0.10646111923356566,0.11213976238867364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096697911574435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519861374418499,0.0,0.20100032758358893,0.07184251699007793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DickBiggerThanRonnie,2019/01/05,"Suffering from Neurological Dysfunction, alongside psychosis. Feeling completely helpless. Confused about what to do(16M) Not sure if this is a suitable sub to rant about my situation, but I'll post anyways. I haven't received anything beneficial from other popular subreddits

My whole entire life is collapsing in front of me. I'm losing everything I care about because of this condition I have. I'm failing all my classes, my girl's losing interest in me, my friends are getting bored of me, my ability to function as a human is getting weaker, and a bunch of other shit. I can't even enjoy anything considering how fucked up my brain is. I'm literally in a constant state of feeling restless, mentally disoriented, disconnected/high, unorganized, brain dead and suicidal. I'm extremely worried that I'm suffering from a permanent neurological issue, and that I'll never recover. All the doctors(including my neurologist) I have seen, believe my whole situation is psychological

Could an underlying mental disorder account for my symptoms and psychosis? What can I do in my position?


",7.759683397683396,10.151660416216217,8.762490347490349,55.776013513513526,63.75675675675675,12.204633204633206,44.02509652509652,11.765960540728905,6.591888030888032,887,57,118,32,14,301,114,185,0.338,0.5670000000000001,0.095,-0.9955,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,3,6,17,2,2,7,0,13,8,3,1,4,16,25,8,2,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,8,4,0,0,2,0,1,2,4,11,0,0,1,3,20,6,22,23,5,12,0,6,1,1,4,6,2,2,2,86,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376107625054195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800748046571702,0.0,0.0,0.1626571568933486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322332512835089,0.0,0.0,0.1471962892921021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137069197487896,0.15601422116939084,0.0,0.1152688349813951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16546216041419995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535596438870177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975172736135093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599706036824725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154100456363683,0.13346905572817466,0.15085622134825108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525363366947041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15068625847151745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019738068077386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32302939082897403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29098487907193893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134814291392993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382679168766302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819519274053522,0.0,0.3245590604871844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791890614780058,0.0,0.13606835917657156,0.15005718905311516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223710796645214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661618969811518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Angry_Ratel,2019/01/05,"Reality Dysphoria That's the only way I can describe it. let me provide some backstory. When i was very young, I thought that all my favorite heroes were real, out there in the world. As a grew older, I was disappointed when I realized that they were merely fictional, but around that same time, I learned of the multiverse theory. This got me thinking ""what if every piece of entertainment  we see is actually a glimpse into another reality, something real?"" To me, this seemed a logical assumption, and I still believe it today. Now we move to my teenage years, when I was just discovering my sexuality. It's a blur, but all I know is that this reality's ""artstyle"", by which I mean the general aesthetic of the world, was... unattractive to me.  I have little to no sexual or romantic attraction to any living being in this reality.  If I had to describe what about this world is unattractive to me, I would say the it's not ""anime"" enough. Everything in this world is unattractive in comparison to anime and the like. On top of that, I'm a furry, and obviously anthros don't exist in this reality.   For years I've struggled with this situation, and curse the heavens for not letting leave this reality in search of a more suitable one. I tried everything, even toying with the idea of magic to solve my problem. I feel like I'm at the edge of my sanity here. Does anyone here have any advice or similar stories?",5.325684210526315,6.773218049056602,6.859285004965245,70.72672293942405,68.50943396226414,10.409136047666337,33.192651439920546,10.5429385540328,3.883490566037736,1113,51,195,32,19,382,147,265,0.099,0.787,0.114,0.2616,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,2,0,1,2,12,9,0,1,16,0,19,0,0,0,3,41,29,14,0,4,9,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,22,11,0,0,10,2,0,2,4,3,0,1,9,3,28,6,34,16,7,31,1,1,1,0,4,17,0,7,13,150,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.14389519433952505,0.0,0.0,0.14409170492470372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054944944730446,0.15461983801013438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310424034588828,0.0,0.0,0.13126656346762347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16613173482955915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903920941481728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236083983417534,0.0,0.09739289738494432,0.0,0.12423752956863507,0.0,0.2650468012029378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455787800009378,0.10534216329663736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793354929148972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645919206270782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103762852768312,0.0,0.0,0.15613397190155007,0.0,0.301566262577943,0.0,0.14407851498996124,0.1477890432150854,0.13020581485509125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062215264501828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672174845128006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991959149151376,0.11214647211484753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410948982543125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356730420794577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726244813574928,0.0,0.0,0.11750285830540275,0.13423785311912986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574604156133707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351836670795568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177580685267912,0.0,0.0,0.15415239433417452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448346281029006,0.0,0.11706311230877592,0.08598242634015249,0.0,0.139770472483063,0.0,0.0,0.10011253364191014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166614324398305,0.0,0.1170432286736164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047480815536904,0.0,0.0,0.18991287909112592
mentalhealth,affect_alien,2019/01/05,"How do you find a therapist? At the start of my mental health journey and made the breakthrough (for me) that I need a therapist. Dealing primarily with anxiety/depression/mood issues. 

I have insurance, but the company's therapist directory is overwhelmingly big, often out of date, and frequently without any details (e.g. Mary Smith is a counselor who specializes in counseling). Psychology Today has a directory I've been using too but has similar issues. If I find a contender, there's often no email address or website, even after a Google search. 

I'm finding it particularly difficult to find someone who deals with my issues in the area (Massachusetts, US). Everyone checks that they deal with anxiety, for example, but when I look into them further, it's anxiety as a result of an eating disorder, substance abuse, etc. I assume I should find someone who specializes as closely as possible in what I'm experiencing. 

Questions for the more experienced: 

If you have a therapist that you like, how did you find them?

Does anyone have a good way of finding therapists who know how to help with your issues? 

Basically, is this the slog and I have to keep searching? Or is there a better way?",6.876100628930818,8.620556169811326,7.733320754716981,64.7915534591195,65.13207547169812,11.50238993710692,37.24654088050315,11.34169021259432,5.047951823899371,956,49,147,31,15,320,127,212,0.106,0.818,0.076,-0.7506,0,0,0,0,1,0,37.0,1,5,3,1,10,7,0,1,17,0,14,2,0,6,0,39,23,17,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,11,10,1,1,10,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,3,3,19,5,25,19,2,19,0,1,1,0,19,10,0,8,7,109,30,0,0.0,0.10310814802774987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059178694818322476,0.0,0.13314487261968225,0.0,0.0,0.060848577652241526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696486356404794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691509969247148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973601642609116,0.0,0.0761545046830316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904636065688784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705376439490672,0.05747793940795867,0.0,0.0,0.08315430509343479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5567627830163451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299085078900842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250149008837344,0.0,0.0,0.058329752192560064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633180447415869,0.0,0.07735013323855214,0.0,0.0,0.04782562206634671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042515092870939915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307748996814095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234336506436958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769882070381943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452652889456986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810547421369424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974857925688327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746878710984893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159540086350439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5052026548098092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248772717634703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467807914948317,0.07516002102382482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814977860703714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388716675690143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spoileddairy,2019/01/05,"Not what I used to be I am a mess right now (or at least I think I am). I am not what I used to be. Recently I've hurt people that I've been trying to reach out and help. Helping others is nothing special for me since I am a very deep, empathetic, and compassionate person who is willing go out of their way to listen, reach out, meet, and help my friends. But recently I've been doing the opposite of that unintentionally.. There were situations where I felt I understood the situations but I completely misread them and would miscommunicate or be oblivious to certain things I should have picked up. This was rarely the case for me before, before I always quickly understood and knew what to do/say. Because of this, people are comfortable opening up and come to me for questions. But recently some people gotten hurt (all these people are not connected, they are all separate cases).

​

I think part of this is because my girlfriend broken up with me recently and I've been really devastated by it. Constantly wondering why and finding closure even though there is none and I should stop. Thing is, no matter what I can't stop thinking about her and what happened. I constantly have dreams of her, her friends, or anything related to her. How all the friends I've made with her are now suddenly gone. We are not enemies or have anything against each other but now it's super awkward to be in the circle of friends. Not only that those friends also have a lot of mutual friends of mine so it's like a big web of friends.

​

Now that I think about I am pretty alone. Everyone can come to me with their problems and dump their issues onto me but when I have problems, I don't really have much people to turn to or at least have any consistent few people I can rely on. I am always alone when taking care of my problem and when I had a girlfriend who helped and cared about my problems but also helped hers, was something really special. Now that's gone and I am very alone.

​

I lost my touch, I am alone, confused, feeling empty. Working out has always been one of my hobbies so that's been helping and I've improved so much but that only helps a bit. I've been going out of my ways to make deeper connections with people but I don't think I've met anyone who understands my feelings and thoughts yet. I haven't really been opening up to people lately and just been keeping a straight face even though in the inside I am screaming.

​

I want to curl up into a ball and just not do anything, I especially feel this at night after a long day of work or whatever. I am an introvert but I don't want to be left alone but at the same time need time to myself. I don't even know what I am feeling anymore. I researched and took the steps to do things to get over a break up but I feel it's not enough. Maybe it's not enough because I don't have anyone who is willing to just listening to me. Sorry I think I am repeating myself and rambling. Not sure if this is a rant, question, or a cry or whatever. I just had to pour out my thoughts.",4.171147842056932,5.566487033057848,5.06159779614325,82.71946740128558,71.23140495867769,8.022405876951332,28.98163452708907,8.515128840125781,2.1216879706152434,2425,94,471,40,45,790,243,605,0.129,0.7190000000000001,0.152,0.9197,0,5,1,0,0,0,73.0,1,0,5,4,31,29,1,2,21,0,68,1,1,6,5,122,114,51,0,11,33,0,7,1,9,5,0,3,0,1,34,37,0,3,23,2,0,8,18,12,0,1,26,10,72,17,70,78,17,68,0,3,0,0,40,30,0,15,28,360,106,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732360806177592,0.0,0.08439012423827749,0.13171072047392196,0.228677518228856,0.25645438098315115,0.03588108307468598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052327350726672515,0.07378712478939557,0.0,0.13025993457157511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964926716820077,0.0,0.08979593915569171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05760422686089516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759209058375062,0.0,0.0,0.09090240397791666,0.05532167040694564,0.11403749576254472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795837857969643,0.034028181381134184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903788500013653,0.0,0.10454965550643723,0.0,0.0,0.05041791709389872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339440331381192,0.0,0.0506613667715157,0.0,0.048225009093542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853553899751768,0.0,0.027566823033517603,0.0,0.05997358264805296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665871068894541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24756447964941705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296913118639924,0.0,0.0,0.05507152948339935,0.0,0.04689874565654018,0.0,0.0,0.02899751546953372,0.0,0.0595196817078876,0.0,0.05732784689947526,0.0,0.0,0.025777648255227725,0.0,0.0,0.046694159115171635,0.0,0.0,0.057597743593683776,0.044857758047583865,0.0,0.049926229897335736,0.035220137975787866,0.0,0.053008166127070815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757468975146012,0.03912356889409371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049515099807711085,0.0,0.050628133552423335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035754006535308185,0.08025824839859483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713787800373599,0.0,0.29263730334361465,0.04607117337510505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053679588555358516,0.0,0.20195070211878455,0.0,0.0,0.11821469981730308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520694996657376,0.0,0.2083909076644571,0.0,0.0,0.04505985842130854,0.0,0.041959762589180515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043646626467155315,0.1186170792879756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040620026208758785,0.0,0.059064572741279825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822552767016216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972910423392552,0.0,0.039671689141310605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516144936504626,0.2028528517603819,0.10368001256796366,0.08377686938175617,0.06153380307902005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862234306829287,0.03582304659845532,0.05739168651189689,0.0,0.05492880780298205,0.0,0.09114168423383452,0.0,0.08707105414938701,0.06224272131566483,0.08376263954732975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047610976293384094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721991449337085,0.07682511352150034,0.0,0.0,0.037481774460113984,0.0,0.25645438098315115,0.0
mentalhealth,shinmajinko,2019/01/05,"Being alone makes me suicidal This is just a dumb vent. But yeah. Normal people hate being alone too, but when I’m alone I’m a mess. I only feel happy when I’m around others IRL. Talking online is helpful too, but I only feel truely happy with irl people. When I’m alone I feel suicidal, scared, and anxious. And I have no people to talk to as I’m inept at making friends (online or irl). I can’t push myself to talk to others as Im also scared of that too. I’m just a shut in with no one to talk to online either. ",0.04067567567567565,2.030308495495497,2.7940765765765763,91.50570945945948,85.66666666666667,4.4207207207207215,14.655405405405405,5.46131890053228,-0.7827243243243238,397,6,85,2,12,139,57,111,0.298,0.5579999999999999,0.14400000000000002,-0.9517,0,4,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,11,8,2,2,3,1,6,0,0,2,0,18,18,12,2,1,7,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,0,3,7,3,14,16,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,1,3,53,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5399633932893844,0.0,0.10423124240398028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472448278991889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602844312382175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19770840978328247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069880668502687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774944250071307,0.0,0.12868177979818754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736280636039342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407873938131556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17400323898046233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770355546544734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832039425781202,0.19825582718975146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710798506629677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609821284950878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851372096620425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4190429525274072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imthere3285,2019/01/05,"Is this even self harm? I wont even feel like it counts or that I should even mention it to my psychiatrist. Cuz I did it just so I could get the endorphin release. But it barely even drew blood 

Here: http://imgur.com/gallery/S1dkvfp",3.4625581395348846,6.466070139534883,2.582604651162793,91.86413953488373,80.16279069767441,6.2306976744186064,20.227906976744187,7.554174236665415,0.6073386046511628,188,5,37,3,5,54,34,43,0.135,0.865,0.0,-0.6818,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,5,1,1,1,0,7,7,4,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,5,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526917828446352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8361555367550906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600270249997877,0.22610076160404546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535313960554576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462119321717965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33016844782486193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Harley_Quinn6969,2019/01/05,"Mental Health and Physical Health - I’m Just So Tired I’m not really sure where to begin... so I think I’ll start with today. I’ve been doing good lately, after a pretty long bout of mild depression (since late October). Then at around 7:30 I realized I have a urinary tract infection. In itself, it’s not that bad. However, the last UTI I had cropped up on Christmas Eve. 

Reoccurring UTIs suck, but what was particularly rough about this one was the fact that I spent the past year struggling with them, but they seemed to be done the past few months. The pattern was always the same. I’d take my week of antibiotics and mark one week in my calendar once the antibiotics were up (because I’m paranoid about interactions with my birth control, so I like to know when it’s been a week since my last dose).

Then, within a week or two of my week-past antibiotics date, I’d get another UTI. This would keep happening for months. For the record, I’ve tried all the “traditional” things. Urinating after sex, pushing fluids, cranberry, multivitamins, probiotics, literally all of the things people would list on a thread about preventing UTIs. I literally haven’t NOT peed after sex in the past 7 years. 

I know that it could be so much worse, and I could have a serious illness to worry about. It’s just so difficult not being driven into the ground by this. I already have difficulty with manic depression, and it’s so hard for me to find happiness. I feel like every time that I do, I end up starting another cycle of UTIs. 

I guess I don’t really have a point to this post, beside the excuse to vent my frustration and exhaustion. It just feels so unfair to struggle so much, and have something else to knock you down besides your mental health. It just always seems like there is something else to push me into the void. My husband is the only thing keeping me going anymore. ",4.743491468997085,6.399541280898878,5.429188514357055,79.6222617561382,70.17977528089887,8.9819392426134,27.230129005409907,9.444778638647367,2.4097034124011647,1480,50,276,33,27,479,191,356,0.159,0.774,0.068,-0.9866,1,0,2,0,0,0,50.0,0,2,2,2,22,16,2,2,22,0,26,11,1,1,4,47,49,20,0,4,11,1,4,3,0,2,8,0,0,0,20,13,0,4,9,0,1,4,6,10,0,3,10,4,29,6,44,32,6,53,0,2,0,2,7,17,1,4,34,180,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516462906098799,0.0,0.14351211695659408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808539420357566,0.0,0.0,0.08552389111334874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767691771189494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200425893737189,0.052569249997475816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672208278894674,0.13770638975206745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855153344846214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825035024821849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440798277046293,0.0,0.07638034949881224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265835762225682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720799555652213,0.061607700990873336,0.0,0.0,0.07881901853200525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045055251961337625,0.0,0.04901045133033115,0.07233147001827803,0.0,0.0,0.09499973316521204,0.0,0.07625905835161244,0.09180084679822666,0.07725137691288128,0.0,0.0,0.27499756550231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330274363911547,0.0,0.0,0.09478715513529494,0.1405892635284059,0.1945580927295781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639306702457764,0.0,0.0,0.07631699530623771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381314375176168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766703640978611,0.0,0.12678817534849754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183954723827352,0.11687279097173985,0.06558709357218401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292917424611436,0.05978584936774325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152180083471645,0.0,0.08259116896033912,0.08773399040585783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049120876680547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15701377791781335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267220784557252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277884892913125,0.0,0.0,0.12207792737479088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803071879286188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127731361524378,0.0,0.06483946110947743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187601168262068,0.055257161455924464,0.0,0.0,0.05028546449646528,0.09911669880406698,0.08174255404117474,0.0,0.0,0.05854923465622836,0.0,0.08424097856503926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458704352883876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757781826193722,0.08788282900759194,0.12252052332654854,0.0,0.0,0.11106754886374584
mentalhealth,umdontmindme,2019/01/05,"Confused. I don’t know who or what i am. I am utterly confused, frustrated, ashamed and angry with myself and what i feel. I feel empty at times, so empty that whenever i open my eyes, it feels as if I’m watching things through a television. I slightly disassociate very often, like 70% of my day.  I’m pretty sure i have depression but whenever i tell that to myself a voice in my head goes so quickly to invalidate me. It tells me that I’m just a dramatic ungrateful cunt. And then the cycle of confusion, frustration, shame, and anger start up again. Going to a psychiatrist isn’t an option, would be an extreme burden to my parents. Am i depressed? Am i borderline (i also have sudden anger outburts that include self harm and etc.) ? I’ve been feeling like this since I was 14. What is wrong with me.",3.1021978021978,5.214096692307692,4.791611721611726,80.55576923076926,75.66666666666667,8.046886446886448,28.45054945054945,8.841846274778883,2.495970329670329,628,27,118,14,14,212,100,156,0.34,0.6,0.06,-0.9946,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,7,18,5,5,7,0,13,2,2,0,1,24,23,13,0,2,4,1,4,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,12,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,15,0,0,2,7,22,3,13,19,1,12,0,2,2,0,5,4,1,7,9,84,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273564942250093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123806240858205,0.0,0.35054155236289697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22695179233174564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115746964193503,0.1453775578179566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565144628615305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088455683347588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183606030131156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19883569871539766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22595818663804024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702855418541144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212290671967666,0.0,0.0,0.16833396484116409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403549117872536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917925384220833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557288851319673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519367667802645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866013346806525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790548267110192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445576947144179,0.2224908920307844,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zingamaroo,2019/01/05,"Looked up hospitals for depression and anxiety... any advice? I've struggled with anxiety and depression with over 13 years now, and i've been slowly getting worse. I'm not eating much, I'm not showering or taking care of myself, I'm trying to work on getting certified as a teacher but I'm exhausted and not motivated, and my thoughts are darker than usual. 

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I was in a car accident last month (slid on snow into a tree) and all I could think about how I wished someone had hit me and killed me instead. I'm close to a breakdown because my life is going literally nowhere, and I know that I can shift and change directions but I have NO energy and no life skills and no coping skills. I'm in between therapists but start group therapy again on Tues but I find myself too exhausted to go. I just don't care. 

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The one thing I haven't done is go to a hospital. I would like to go just to learn some coping strategies and re-boot things. I have Medicaid (state insurance) so I want to check out a hospital or maybe an outpatient thing... I don't know much about them. I just don't want to go to a random hospital and end up worse than before.

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can it hurt you? I'm a substitute teacher so I can put in for days off easily but I won't get any money for the days off. Should I put in for FMLA or something? My parents can help me out a bit (they won't pay for the hospital). I just need some advice, bc dark days are ahead and I need to do \*something\*",3.0735907710989667,5.1186763639344255,4.252276867030968,84.69581663630849,75.52459016393442,7.9283545840922915,27.034001214329077,8.735056554316923,2.142035822707954,1221,48,239,26,27,399,154,305,0.157,0.764,0.079,-0.9778,2,0,2,0,1,0,74.0,0,1,2,5,13,10,1,1,13,0,24,5,0,2,1,55,54,26,1,8,15,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,0,5,20,1,0,7,0,3,9,12,7,0,1,5,1,30,3,40,43,6,38,0,3,1,0,6,16,0,6,13,157,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608337099332688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4794145149522727,0.5376477478795221,0.06686528958701066,0.0,0.07521938843085373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02996941508896678,0.0,0.04183424078145293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053673453815096715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025026668202558,0.0,0.05200812021557952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03925279469538668,0.0,0.0,0.09511854188317756,0.0,0.08468834096421889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05031099698897276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030620149929978,0.0,0.0,0.04354398053767502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044934251171627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705718921415927,0.0,0.13970282624222574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03295303980484658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263019552286529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439176887111522,0.0,0.05403759036867263,0.04007454924634882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945080868696643,0.024018643917049408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0412846848347417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04939101714384325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03924157714282483,0.0,0.07228118064408906,0.07290774245403217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033314239649664984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054589887631490995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884513942293187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04165579853280375,0.07569642783154445,0.0,0.0,0.034797948219458336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051396024851187536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036964589074946916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056222375085098586,0.057082235283643985,0.09798548653823093,0.03150177733922725,0.0,0.03903006927246522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03337856858597146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414629140605638,0.0,0.05799542863286259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056535224831958976,0.0,0.0,0.03579137684108944,0.0,0.1002029506545244,0.034924108872269245,0.0,0.5376477478795221,0.03165947274282521
mentalhealth,justletmehavemyname,2019/01/05,"Do I have high functioning depression? Recently, I have felt dull or emotionless, but I have small outbursts of sadness now and again, I have anxiety, I over think, i am very self critical to the point where I think I look stupid/ugly in ripped jeans, but I have a pretty normal social life, I have friends, I make jokes and laugh to be nice but don't really feel anything, I've been asking myself if I should open up to my parents or siblings but have never gotten to any conclusion, I feel no motivation to take care of myself and I feel like I have been under eating sometimes. I've cried just thinking if I have depression or not because I'm confused, I don't know what to think about it and it frightens me a little.",9.260792540792536,6.394939986013987,9.05325174825175,72.60500582750585,61.72727272727273,12.330536130536132,37.81934731934732,10.504223727775694,3.7388144522144513,570,20,111,10,6,186,88,143,0.17600000000000002,0.621,0.203,0.7488,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,11,0,1,3,0,17,2,0,2,1,32,33,13,0,4,11,1,4,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,5,1,0,11,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,5,21,6,13,27,0,14,0,4,1,0,5,10,0,6,5,77,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511977536901988,0.0,0.12950275326762498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393073371117778,0.0,0.1582588573753001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031947174473312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259759514091827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595189863581504,0.0,0.0,0.291610276374837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732210733562143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25678712729501185,0.12093741677193623,0.162540387938818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078936459520427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885916154357803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930347464752948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957117877783788,0.08270422245913192,0.16966829381791335,0.0,0.0,0.14215697482837222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299921922086713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305632212794019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658636028142504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797123710589875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002927953775478,0.0,0.0,0.17222395889030356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844846625786043,0.0,0.1671487621300602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766014359981005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172564994276113,0.0,0.0,0.16742744134322504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728144055604798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4338846122902256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396780606365367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SwampBollocks,2019/01/05,"I don't really know what to put here Hi everyone I was gonna post a picture of us but it's not allowed plus I'm unsure if it's disrespectful or not. But it's nice a picture of her and I just wanted to share her story.

This person wasn't the closest to me but she was in my life for a brief time. She was happy cheery full of laughter and full of smiles. I met her mother and her sister. She met my mam and dad, my brother and brother in law. I took her to my debs She was so bright and bubbly.  she was a pleasure to be around.

I'm very sad to say this person is no longer with us she was found this morning by I presume her parents. ( A friend rang me and told me the news) I don't usually react straight away I was taken back by it of course but it takes me a while to process it. As of writing this post it's 2:30a.m. And it's eating away at me.

This poor troubled girl who was going to be an aunty this year. She was going to do her leaving cert this year. She was going to college this year. She was going to have her 18th birthday this year. She was going to do so much this year. 

She had every contact in the world and still kept quiet. She previously attempted suicide and sought help. I genuinely thought she was in a better place but sadly it wasn't the case. 

I can't express the pain I feel for the family to lose a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a cousin, an aunty is something no one should go through. 

I know there was nothing I could've done and that we weren't very close we only knew eachother for 2 days for Christ sake but she touched my life she was in my home. She met my family and I met hers. 

Just knowing this young bright girl isnt with us anymore is really getting to me. I just keep picturing it and get this rushing hollow feeling all throughout my body. 

Is it normal to feel like this? Am I feeling too much empathy? I've never had someone my age take their own life who was in my life for x amount of time. 

Suicide is so prominent in today's climate. The scariest thing I learned today is that you never know who is next. Even writing that is giving me shivers. 

Please for your own sake talk to somebody anybody don't keep to yourself. I just wish she never had those thoughts. She didn't deserve this faith nobody does. 

I can't stress this enough everybody is affected by it even the people who you think wouldn't give a shit if you died. 

We do care. We really do. 

May you rest in peace.
",0.8043235504652806,2.9874174566929166,2.3905282748747325,94.37465783822479,84.07874015748031,5.033128131710809,21.04738725841088,6.305155272017332,0.1709538582677168,1900,60,416,17,55,619,233,508,0.094,0.741,0.165,0.9916,2,0,1,0,0,2,48.0,7,5,1,3,15,18,1,1,23,0,50,8,2,3,4,72,91,28,3,7,15,9,5,1,1,4,5,3,1,5,37,22,1,3,15,0,1,10,18,7,0,1,36,10,76,11,50,49,10,51,2,3,2,0,75,19,1,4,21,290,113,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203404133621954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363656829852189,0.0,0.0,0.15543259117432864,0.06360504567942904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315735998514868,0.0,0.09188106436715106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433652653753347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604360209833496,0.0,0.0,0.05334627492603899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584823741098603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238709010314802,0.08464924579499454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464117728893564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546981875728484,0.0,0.10926893415391742,0.0,0.06969349306974781,0.07904060567810793,0.0,0.0,0.15595836080627182,0.0,0.16729884992840255,0.05909376460685766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069603111353096,0.06390773121146222,0.0,0.08643349486780467,0.15870130973701854,0.2820633162032285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805486236547369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544414011004579,0.0,0.08297291088040748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704714021932722,0.0,0.0,0.1818386254714685,0.0,0.0,0.08758643162379834,0.0,0.0,0.2337047137623897,0.040411842624434514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254029745949846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161451358308342,0.0,0.19139169176602844,0.0,0.08797154463324493,0.0,0.08104608948307805,0.0793701638424079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605186598063126,0.06291077586837322,0.0880177972775776,0.0,0.09184856378521082,0.0,0.0,0.057346254648941525,0.14445235574041976,0.08642271735643117,0.09079953789370597,0.0,0.0,0.15844198107215565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831544493591152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897383063263562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578068354116494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490885106821533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008670350068674,0.06368036720401217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066058711576721,0.0,0.094753203762011,0.0,0.0,0.18096015984048106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243873019253415,0.06648560508751553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05495417192212679,0.05300236235731736,0.0,0.1313377243533742,0.09646707649554488,0.0,0.1568140076380424,0.07904060567810793,0.09190275539860462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984987524542241,0.0,0.09110220437737047,0.13650204636937927,0.048789226880211416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512163203453718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663384399373696
mentalhealth,anonymousforpersonal,2019/01/05,"Thoughts? I often feel very anxious in social situations with new people, and when I get invited to go to a party or something, I look forward to it like normal people, but then I start to overthink little details and get rlly anxious and can’t usually even think of a reason, in the end I enjoy myself when I’m out with certain people but I struggle to bring myself to do it, or even get out of bed and shower etc sometimes. I love being drunk or high bcos everything is more simple, I don’t think about shit that doesn’t need to be thought about. If I don’t do anything I just feel low and shit but if I do try to do something I feel anxious and reluctant. I often feel extremely happy during and the day after a party because I feel like I found peace, but then a day later and I just feel shit again, I look back on that party or wherever I was and it feels like it went way too fast and was wasted and then I can’t even look back at a happy time positively. Recently it feels like time is speeding up uncontrollably and way too quickly and I have no confidence in terms of what’s gonna happen in the future. I feel like I need to just disappear to get some peace, my brain pisses me off so much that I wish sometimes I could switch it off.
It’s like, I feel like I need to be alone and clear my head, but when I am alone, I need to be more alone, like completely at peace, but I physically can’t, and my brain constantly argues with itself, it’ll say one thing and then disagree and just go back and fourth endlessly about any given topic. I’m 15, and everyday waking up for school, it feels as if there’s a massive weight on my chest making it almost unbearable to get ready for school, and I can’t concentrate in lessons anymore. Does anyone else feel like this and does anyone know how I can relax and be a bit more happy because to summarise I feel somehow trapped in my own brain and it’s exhausting. Anyone know why it’s like this?",6.164306054079923,5.256278917085432,6.744142139267769,80.4666750418761,66.36180904522611,9.591002632208662,30.510169897104568,8.704169506293173,2.1689637233788,1531,46,316,20,21,504,177,398,0.151,0.621,0.227,0.9917,1,4,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,26,26,5,2,10,0,25,14,10,3,2,83,70,46,0,10,17,0,14,10,0,2,1,1,2,0,20,28,2,0,22,2,0,6,8,9,0,1,7,18,40,17,43,55,9,56,0,1,3,1,4,20,4,12,40,209,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470234317307579,0.20076419699740145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043940248878062325,0.0,0.0,0.21898884259628504,0.0640804740836204,0.13554041640106168,0.06620545192980544,0.05317243752092078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905427362318374,0.0,0.07877710937155485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054257697370936,0.0,0.0,0.2163943066252428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774734087517788,0.06982559493545952,0.0,0.05158962381611618,0.0,0.0,0.08334234257325122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308961440365968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397733630338722,0.0,0.05722949392082284,0.0,0.07206253154377883,0.1280323080968964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807157507182041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42472509811668,0.27696476168032336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708467433347309,0.0,0.0,0.16879271207462926,0.0,0.07344410819983449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713861411971079,0.20635082340833746,0.0,0.0,0.0663133796004695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682690358555143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102115863808411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31567505291526593,0.0647609590374654,0.0,0.0,0.16278036072485513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583173387758065,0.0,0.043130850452717466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749927931693933,0.19164408728980825,0.0,0.06240533265501949,0.0,0.0,0.06330874051923795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04378462997561168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438720529796866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643472932474145,0.06379927500823973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138424632264632,0.0,0.13078716259139628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989783512449406,0.0,0.07262969144846686,0.0,0.06586660521033609,0.0,0.09948718980032603,0.127811289034504,0.0,0.04573465589255316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754937089939614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042927171845767186,0.08280505146609551,0.0,0.10259379526523676,0.07535476607765362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043869176965203024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711640235135807,0.053313939568598014,0.0,0.10257636930111833,0.0,0.07868336381470156,0.0,0.05989852488314715,0.05830476586518511,0.0,0.07430377898119701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OliviaGG,2019/01/05,"Kinda tired I feel like I'm at the point where I finally want to be myself, but I feel like the world won't like it. If I had to describe myself I would explain myself as cute and immature. I'm the type who would squeal at something cute, do cute mannerisms, wear a hairbow all the time, loves space buns or any hairstyles that are cute (like two high pigtails, etc), and overalls, etc. I know that I have to be mature in some situations like at a job or talking to someone important. I wanna know if being immature and cute is a bad thing. I'm 19 turning 20 this year and I wanna know if I have to change myself or not. I wanna wear long socks with converse sometimes or two space buns with overall. I really want to be me, but I'm afraid that people won't like it or tell me not do/be what I want to be. I don't want people to be like don't wear that or don't act that way. I just don't know what to do. *sigh* ",3.050043171114602,3.3862384234693903,4.498163265306122,89.66661695447411,72.92857142857143,7.45934065934066,24.770800627943487,7.321109707123232,0.858106436420722,705,19,164,7,13,236,91,196,0.032,0.7140000000000001,0.254,0.9917,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,2,16,0,1,7,0,21,5,3,0,1,39,38,16,0,12,14,0,2,7,0,4,1,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,7,0,0,1,8,2,1,2,1,2,21,13,19,27,4,16,0,0,0,1,6,10,0,11,11,105,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114599077538917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191067286232363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178751560616598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29896102107057976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554066947892038,0.19150420747712305,0.0,0.14682491598926903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141611599187779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300554534262712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946407467125718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4583670174153298,0.0,0.0,0.11861362677144426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120968628030659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18584108021191115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267030550553493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586398708178965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065697978070364,0.0,0.0,0.11356442340301964,0.1031839681765792,0.1325605437927508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077294127022337,0.11714940608168528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904454819829825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815482375686422,0.1540494495569107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578774332171301,0.2618585270627944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162209173599397,0.10638793644567236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042421111290067,0.0,0.0,0.08631186758912349
mentalhealth,georgia-help,2019/01/05,"Seeking help- Georgia USA Hi Reddit,

I’m at a loss and thought this community might be able to help. My mother lives in Georgia and does not have health insurance. She has a history of mental instability and depression and that has progressively gotten worse since my step dad passed away about a year and a half ago. She has been saddled with his fledgling antique business and cannot keep up with the bills and her car is about to be repossessed. She also spends recklessly and is incredibly impulsive and unstable. She has mentioned that she feels suicidal to me and my brother separately and she owns a firearm which makes me uneasy to say the least given her volatile mental state. I do not live in GA but my brother lives with her and is very worried for her well-being. I am considering trying to get her committed so she can get some help and get stabilized. I truly believe she should not have a firearm and needs to be in therapy and on medication. But, I haven’t consulted my  brother  on this and I feel guilty making a move like this when she has moments of real lucidity. I wish she would get her shit together and get her finances in order, but it doesn’t seem realistic at this point without an intervention. She has disowned and alienated all of her friends and family and has frankly screwed a lot of them over. There’s a lot of ill -will. 

So, is anyone familiar with the process of getting someone mental help in GA with no money and 0 health insurance? Is anyone able to give me advice or walk me through what this process might be? I really wish it wouldn’t have to come to this but it looks like she’s really going off the deep end. I think my brother and I need to get her help but I don’t know what she needs or how to go about it. 

Thanks so much. ",3.942502064409581,5.766092156069369,4.746626754748141,83.04105491329481,72.52601156069363,8.295458298926507,28.542113955408755,8.942964678507748,2.2942356729975235,1410,56,277,29,28,455,177,346,0.095,0.789,0.116,0.8654,0,0,0,2,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,2,10,8,2,0,14,0,33,6,1,3,2,65,63,35,1,8,11,6,2,2,1,6,4,1,0,0,15,28,0,1,6,0,4,8,10,4,0,1,4,4,44,4,41,49,7,30,0,2,1,1,41,15,2,8,7,195,59,2,0.19390486718943534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474079602345906,0.08594248260661362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753282611774624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558279165157966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109000284118993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109232192170503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351593678669045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350498898933773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484372798965796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587107915803358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139812584747628,0.0,0.0980441270403457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490520969436884,0.0,0.3545755149237874,0.09300560870552586,0.11020060456317404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611180642199603,0.0,0.0,0.3249258628447501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617577767422317,0.0,0.0,0.053282521978472316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473212359559337,0.0,0.2568323253451817,0.0,0.08141562612520548,0.0,0.0,0.16485098398078815,0.0,0.0,0.12943300454491802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766937693334793,0.2931157488231897,0.20570242155591908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304509347169913,0.07127119418210295,0.21566700309197329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165138754297326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035309501973846,0.12422042313944515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710046658026462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826185426588105,0.0,0.0,0.09952027984106997,0.08020005494835485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214748236226546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060502263358912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926077488375979,0.11087355730393073,0.0,0.0,0.06212320467980732,0.0,0.07696940258228277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582433828592853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999591139588877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717188132084358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229810277708519,0.09345868622964687,0.0,0.0,0.09845990249855607,0.09880281271114384,0.06887222712447368,0.0,0.0,0.06243418852460079
mentalhealth,privatepoodle,2019/01/05,"Am I alone? For the past year or so I have been OBSESSING over losing my train of thought when I'm playing videogames or relaxing or in school I constantly forget minor things. Either I forget what I was thinking about 10 seconds ago or what I had for dinner 2 nights ago. Whenever this happens I can't think about anything else (can sometimes go on for hours) until the point of it interfering with my daily routines, current conversation, work, etc. If anyone could help let me know if this is common or something more serious worth looking into.",9.041470588235297,8.055256676470588,8.446392156862746,70.84076470588238,60.66666666666666,10.905098039215686,39.027450980392146,9.888512548439397,3.907448627450982,439,19,74,7,5,139,80,102,0.127,0.779,0.094,-0.3635,1,1,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,4,5,0,1,2,0,10,1,0,0,0,17,18,10,0,3,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,0,4,2,1,1,1,3,0,1,4,1,10,2,13,12,3,17,0,1,1,0,2,5,0,7,11,54,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36266959050777575,0.0,0.0,0.21186795662848668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303681379921965,0.0,0.16833981140560395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221062415618892,0.0,0.16332874603076245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708880584967344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281443833511894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625917392209492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18089641877157128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371158082117387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014556134781283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124237387672756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091818784745452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178333050324412,0.2288562443772989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919706759589911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19528072543073804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19338032938742264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20703100432669846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748436172096697,0.20232031193896413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590409523447525,0.2621543678856057,0.0,0.1624019976471828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892597440601224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173334594921146
mentalhealth,depressed_n_lonely,2019/01/05,"I don't want to die anymore, I just don't feel like I'm living So every day I usually just want to die,but lately I feel as if I am outside my body, watching down from above. I forget what happened yesterday some days, and sometimes I feel like I wake up halfway into the day, halfway through doing something. I am starting to be afraid of this, as I seem emotionless when I am in this dream like state. Sometimes I cant tell if I am awake or not, and I am afraid I will hurt myself or others. I am not sure if this is related or not, but I have started passing out from my anxiety attacks again. If anyone has any ideas let me know",5.493458646616542,4.392998496240601,6.4590977443609034,82.59511278195491,67.796992481203,9.10375939849624,33.285714285714285,7.957251820313856,2.2759353383458647,492,19,106,5,7,165,82,133,0.149,0.821,0.031,-0.8489,0,0,1,0,0,4,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,1,2,1,0,16,2,2,0,1,28,27,14,1,6,13,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,0,4,21,4,14,24,1,17,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,9,13,76,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960109338777606,0.0,0.12329457132244165,0.0,0.1598372836681474,0.11269377708059618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18335408643622852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902348232232568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118238552838759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33453792723026143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579263486431456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444771094212303,0.230279690300098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252205533840578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17253576587033986,0.18194125692987592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857479007460704,0.0,0.18180672472172815,0.0,0.0,0.16480719442758845,0.0,0.2362184910520443,0.0,0.14231601944451158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672307020967554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240765022798589,0.3188024051560732,0.0,0.2281538416155901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519007713866402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086964096887308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750593103390264,0.0,0.19012442565983506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,19apricots,2019/01/05,"Okay so this is an odd one but any responses are appreciated. So currently I'm trying to get my life together in 8ish weeks before my a-level exams (just enough to mass them tbh. I can't bare the thought of living the rest of my life like this) had a very very long history of mental health problems. It's been quite severe and I'm surprised I'm here aha. Anyway, I know that it'll be very helpful to get my sleeping and eating in order first. I'm doing very well with eating! Because of Christmas Ahah but sleeping is a no go anyway because I have the ol' insomnia :(( (it's okayish just no pills ATM) anyway, sorry for the context but i wasn't eating really before he holidays. I don't have a diagnosed ED or anything it's more of a side effect of self hatred and depressed but I have a friend who doesn't respect the fact that I don't want to be special snowflaked. ??? It sounds weird but he shouted in the room our year and the year below gets food for me to 'PLEASE EAT' and I know he cares but I've never been so embarrassed or humiliated. I have mad anxiety as well (ik sorry it's a lot) but I was like almost wetting myself. He's outed a lot of my mental illnesses. I've told him I don't want people knowing. Ive told him that it makes me feel uncomfortable. I've told him to please stop. Literally ik I sound like I'm overreacting but it sucks so much to loose the last bit of respect I had and now everyone looks at me like I'm a bit broken and I wouldn't be so mad if he didn't find 'brokenness' like that aesthetic and stuff. He literally thinks it's like sad pretty.

If anyone has any advice anyone has on my journey to recoveryish for 8 weeks and also what to do about my friend. I love him but I want it to stop :((( sorry for the big vent I just wanted to clear as much as possible thanks!!",1.0905926077468635,3.2266575505319146,3.3279787234042573,88.37435897435901,82.53723404255321,6.19683578832515,20.811238406983087,7.419758726546812,0.7088943807965079,1413,42,300,22,39,483,184,376,0.201,0.615,0.184,-0.4031,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,1,3,17,26,3,1,18,1,29,15,2,2,3,50,58,31,0,8,16,0,2,6,2,2,7,3,1,1,19,11,5,2,8,1,1,2,11,8,2,2,11,6,35,18,35,42,9,26,0,2,1,1,21,11,1,7,18,184,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189955457139507,0.0,0.0,0.0839250356620615,0.0,0.0,0.06702396634003925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398928611369903,0.0,0.06411551076874185,0.0,0.0,0.11720579422893067,0.0,0.0689696616279419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218133361378808,0.0,0.14263469944539894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300073839291345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545133358707503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218665759386884,0.08506683221899708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430400455252672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659960629283453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008540830429592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04237757476176001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660212413261447,0.07128995534072748,0.10134510786237412,0.0,0.12950499819585048,0.0,0.13136403121413498,0.0,0.047631964296497985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908762563957799,0.0,0.0,0.05617703154852518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818170206413233,0.06831749758557805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183969762359975,0.2456761728335172,0.0,0.07400702382423723,0.07417047378612984,0.0703804886033943,0.0,0.0,0.14250695292173454,0.0756430833329188,0.0,0.05594477703375701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892440760532873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232220817701447,0.0,0.06464053781653348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679279067720809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05810428929385891,0.0,0.0,0.18399955323401326,0.0,0.09448478885683807,0.0,0.08526635003695407,0.0,0.08019621480197614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891437671032609,0.0,0.0,0.05369174500746047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743359492992456,0.09468305434382164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774390533716155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814600858358311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401402083542624,0.0,0.0,0.09594402998563632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716229977492843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537029770212613,0.0,0.06653690967040696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402562249128878,0.0,0.05690245608913287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766128124671364,0.197736599917522,0.0,0.1344569395113904,0.0,0.15071307295243352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079436197459262
mentalhealth,Rich_Drip,2019/01/05,"Loneliness Im physical cold, to the finger tips ",0.4800000000000004,-0.1838763333333304,3.93555555555556,72.19000000000003,145.66666666666666,10.088888888888887,25.222222222222214,7.793537801064563,4.6288222222222215,39,2,6,2,3,14,9,9,0.28600000000000003,0.7140000000000001,0.0,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HeckmeThrowAway123,2019/01/05,"I want to die. (Vent) I have a wonderful life. I'm doing well in school and turning fifteen in two days (tuesday the 8th). I have a kind mother and father and a protective brother and two loyal dogs. I have friends, no drama at school and good grades. All these things are true and yet I want to die. I want to sleep forever or go to heaven or whatever the hell happens. I have diagnosed general anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder and have attempted suicide multiple times. The holidays are the worst due to anxiety and depression about going back to hell- i mean school. I have no energy. I don't want to eat and when I do want to it's cravings. I'm always tired and scared and feeling hopeless. I've tried professional help multiple times and am still seeing a therapist, who I no longer tell the truth to as it doesn't help anyway and I don't want to go back to outpatient or start inpatient. I'm about to cry writing this post... I feel like a ticking timebomb and the explosion is suicide. Nothing helps, nothing. Not professional help, not talking to friends, not venting, not sleep, not time. I feel like a burden to my family and friends and I don't want to make them sad but even that isnt helping anymore. I don't know what to do. Please, you all are my last hope before giving up. I just need one thing. One thing to keep me going. Just one.",2.1781396588486106,4.605451899253733,3.6853944562899814,85.6879104477612,80.38059701492537,7.410660980810236,25.989339019189767,8.418075326091056,2.037469722814499,1071,44,209,24,28,353,142,268,0.17600000000000002,0.635,0.189,-0.3013,0,0,0,0,0,5,38.0,0,1,1,1,12,22,2,1,12,0,20,6,2,1,4,51,49,23,4,9,11,3,3,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,10,17,1,2,6,2,0,4,14,9,1,5,0,4,23,13,24,49,4,22,3,4,1,0,18,4,2,5,15,136,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384360918885488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578057772350793,0.0,0.0880119801116783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648007398286438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551613354516534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974830866081138,0.057233694833826114,0.0,0.1528732432215622,0.0900751119761437,0.1842082442987572,0.0,0.20342073507942274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080910181726932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058615759402632236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366163562071867,0.0,0.13461761860777818,0.12680002473574678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056943389627561,0.0,0.0,0.08513305140621431,0.2017451176084864,0.07443576078946106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847761180653122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974221723805259,0.0,0.0,0.08814459689131499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888133858613464,0.0,0.09241508700864223,0.048772367019372216,0.07233966617104885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268377823591205,0.08671342363252907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05923850605865982,0.0,0.0,0.09667018547523668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580388113647986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703079640542935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040933861922254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741623103142256,0.0,0.0,0.08499393824707616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888500207849241,0.269446441778099,0.0707189071943125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17761976862688705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281472917284049,0.0,0.0708725050575619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19414698739039968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713305069134971,0.0775677348536076,0.0,0.0,0.10304070594361812,0.17687628480136258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524515700427355,0.10200023420727143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025256813079754,0.09652993896528472,0.17338348930424954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664119769221465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797931259948075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624102704315772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WonderfulStore,2019/01/05,"Therapist didn't reply to me, wanna drop out I'm in DBT so i'm supposed to call any time 24/7 before I do stupid shit as I have a substance abuse ""disorder"" and (probably some type of personality disorder they fucking wont tell me about).  I messaged my therapist the other night saying I was gonna take too much of my sleeping meds cuz I was doing bad and that I called the LA county crisis line since it was late at night but thought I should let him know also. But he didnt reply to me. STILL hasnt.

​

I dont even wanna go back to therapy, who the fuck does that? I mean I dont wanna lose my therapist but i feel like he doesnt give a FUCK now. Like not even a call back to check up? I really thought he did care, he seemed like it. Maybe its cuz my lifes been terrible lately and I've been called for multiple coaching called too much. Maybe I should just fucking leave cuz i feel like he doesnt even give a fuck about me anymore and theres no fucking point, he probably hates me and wants me to drop out. But if he really felt like that he wouldnt directly say it, right? He would just fucking ignore me and send subtle signs. the least he could do is dent me a two word ""You good"" Text? Like Forreal?",1.4778083989501312,3.3951161968503962,3.0319881889763813,92.17480643044621,79.94488188976378,6.595538057742782,20.81955380577428,7.6454224807358475,0.6227223097112864,950,26,213,15,24,312,137,254,0.162,0.711,0.127,-0.7589,0,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,0,1,1,1,16,22,10,0,9,0,25,10,2,3,0,40,50,17,0,10,8,0,3,6,0,6,1,2,0,1,9,8,0,1,8,1,1,2,11,14,0,1,11,5,29,8,20,31,4,20,0,1,0,7,27,7,8,3,15,127,38,1,0.0,0.09059947010981914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061149673234345975,0.0,0.08285066316677553,0.09291431751159283,0.05199936663480505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758335273715282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759496165084495,0.06384574964856263,0.0,0.0,0.06506676446686836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3904006597797711,0.0,0.07796198004425159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610517198209414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752728646941884,0.0,0.06691573753125213,0.0,0.17923469798551372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151482068993735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732681280002487,0.10925436667039376,0.07341916015993699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4948398044864545,0.0,0.1467059274394903,0.043457276721937145,0.064135885774704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549414747811492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042023604339371266,0.0,0.1725135077262398,0.08096624220542008,0.0,0.07819146198453507,0.05401005643290935,0.22414396686129465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554567184618042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536403491133653,0.08329367373560932,0.08493626665367199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242232363975904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351594813906926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676698779245872,0.0,0.0,0.07228489764085146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488613241048045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797189995981108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530137603942816,0.0,0.12161734773962192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961159314919836,0.0,0.0,0.07849104562795213,0.06325330055711695,0.0,0.07652102343794599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061065687254754177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574927658785305,0.0,0.06683448022308476,0.0,0.0874453072195323,0.2663480648194207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141060896713853,0.044587823339664635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469597641844346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04510151044359989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05431911094260066,0.0,0.09291431751159283,0.0
mentalhealth,MissMayyDayy,2019/01/05,"My own dad I have PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I have since I was very young. My dad just told me I must be down because I’m not in college getting my masters therefore am directionless. I’ve been home for ten minutes total. ",1.7006666666666668,4.169797733333333,3.391111111111112,86.78000000000004,82.77777777777777,6.2666666666666675,29.0,7.554174236665415,1.9704666666666668,178,9,35,3,5,59,36,45,0.127,0.873,0.0,-0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,6,10,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,8,0,3,5,2,3,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,24,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972715275694061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368818462821859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346933950266673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20302308421412135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.389789081164146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542428117482207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32144700570426404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713159480005936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206287851467306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,454897,2019/01/05,"Am I just a bad person? I find that I enjoy being an asshole. I try to be a good person, but deep down I want to just tell everyone around me to fuck off, and that they're annoying. I have the ability to be completely stone face and not feel bad when I do something to hurt others. I broke up with my girlfriend recently, every thing about her was perfect to me, she was smart, funny, similar interests, etc, but for no reason at all one day I just decided I needed to break up with her, and I basically just said ""hey, you're annoying i don't really like you anymore,"" she cried and my response was ""you'll get over it."" Even at the time I took full responsibility for being the asshole in the situation, saying she didn't deserve to be treated like that (she didn't). I've done this to countless friends and family. I usually just lose all interest in seeing them and their presence makes me unhappy, and I just make up an excuse, usually related to one of their insecurities if I can so they don't come back asking me about it. With my girlfriend I felt that was (lost interest and presence makes me unhappy) for about a month, the feeling came back a little bit then went away again. If I try to be sincere I can never find a logical reason why I stopped liking them, so I make something up. Be honest, am I just a bad person, and is it normal for a person to just be able to dump lifelong relationships with friends and family like they never even existed? Also, is it normal to be able to just be so straightforward and stone face while hurting someone so tremendously? Do you think I need some form of counseling, I personally think it's just the way I think and I don't need counseling but I've been recommended it by others, and forming close relationships withs others is something that I want to be able to do.",5.90513993898395,5.9223540835654624,6.985777954635898,75.42650882079855,66.66016713091922,10.514975460936462,32.13702082504311,10.290406445055957,3.1807332802758985,1432,54,278,33,21,484,167,359,0.16899999999999998,0.687,0.145,-0.9295,0,0,3,0,0,0,42.0,0,3,6,3,25,29,4,1,15,0,34,3,2,6,5,68,59,26,0,9,16,0,3,4,4,1,0,2,0,5,16,22,0,1,12,0,0,4,9,13,0,2,14,6,50,16,45,33,8,38,0,5,1,1,32,17,1,3,19,213,66,0,0.25776723911475435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871212266377688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521194569282896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648916421346091,0.08032585751759254,0.0,0.08072693544231616,0.13213806390475666,0.2152248777160491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380502132789957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827235052374833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401455074206084,0.09008801532828913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094381736116828,0.05541284822579293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792846016276022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582620310179402,0.11350188691637612,0.0,0.07239333878801421,0.08210254778216719,0.0,0.0,0.16200000822706134,0.0,0.08688990742357561,0.0,0.08249899095041381,0.0,0.1570630578024066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276688634718406,0.07943388631854532,0.0448909144956688,0.0,0.0,0.0720676434952102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18396344049412686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790940360706394,0.08611683049215425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961252020877266,0.0937944637169016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22941551160601806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858245033949596,0.0,0.0,0.19113114164676315,0.13253732376768662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16837144344366306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644650152849312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37512068441516544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055044097961432184,0.17668510192201206,0.08483801711812862,0.18449703207530815,0.0,0.0,0.08173189083398075,0.06832895152115433,0.0,0.0,0.06846903877916917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658039226297843,0.0,0.0,0.07280178173854122,0.19844181403843145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183498465095231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509997617908754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057083033301141686,0.1651668386398006,0.0,0.0,0.05010205001234653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095462962381077,0.11667135671530553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926279786910832,0.0,0.10135853076583966,0.06820121211063791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965093770627939,0.0775316133905944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Death-is-imminent,2019/01/05,"I don't know what to do anymore I'm struggling with social and regular anxiety and depression. This has led to me not leaving my house in months unless completely necessary. I never learned to properly trust people and but look desperately for attention due to people ignoring me all my life. I'm in constant psychological pain and want to die but I'm such a coward I can't bring myself to even self harm (I did it once but it was only small scratches). I don't know how to handle situations and this has led to my only friend leaving me because I left discord when she told me my friends were making fun of me. I have so many regrets and even feel my own mum starting to resent me. I've tried to get help but nothing's happened. I don't know what to do anymore as I have no friends or anyone that truly wishes for me to be alive. I've thought about suicide, running away, killing everyone and living in solitude, etc. but I can't bring myself to do it. Please help me.",3.2622115384615387,4.989394923076926,4.654407051282053,83.40007211538463,74.12820512820512,7.336538461538463,29.11057692307693,8.07648339933343,2.0330576923076924,770,33,150,12,16,256,114,195,0.229,0.607,0.16399999999999998,-0.9563,0,0,0,0,0,2,16.0,0,0,0,0,7,13,2,1,1,0,16,2,0,4,2,33,34,18,3,3,8,1,2,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,8,8,0,1,7,0,0,5,8,8,0,0,5,3,26,5,24,28,3,17,0,2,1,0,10,6,0,1,6,100,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014666041863059,0.0,0.2630796509889521,0.09274256563488573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461641280982662,0.0,0.0,0.0808540149544734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906690803827154,0.14333299970397778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423967345481095,0.0,0.13765580707851366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792482358337908,0.17521039188675994,0.0,0.0,0.12673991563165315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706502924442767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074240281610521,0.0,0.06929712742781148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729007061488216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780697856577887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304478034761984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467427002045314,0.0,0.21868075136612528,0.0,0.0,0.2808859284222905,0.14411000886554035,0.0,0.09368512377546458,0.0,0.0,0.117120511142233,0.0,0.1113813037428222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853593271759179,0.13447265215618845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586923554311073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229749067549768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272683550784509,0.0,0.0,0.1412536059801497,0.0,0.20175215909530536,0.14113464978335638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839069782839784,0.0,0.0,0.14559511118762553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383688574413668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490890489727352,0.0,0.13520626804313515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388083876074327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866052939579315,0.0,0.1450828671801623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529861177677168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673991563165315,0.0,0.09005151670786565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823247867955355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252549642520635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nekas_the_Might,2019/01/05,"I need someone to talk to really bad i think. You can look on my past post to get more info.

Thanks in advance",-1.7487499999999976,0.09245495833333807,1.0083333333333364,98.52000000000002,103.58333333333334,4.066666666666666,14.333333333333336,5.985473137389443,-0.7097166666666661,85,2,20,1,4,29,21,24,0.141,0.742,0.118,-0.1567,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,5,6,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31366000613380857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962665933253373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31545938276461605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785467725547005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35860951659127205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3597779762615237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406571064752707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182950904512502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019408907543997,0.0,0.3458568126297897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407074506006259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kfgoodd,2019/01/05,"The worst day in a long time I have bipolar and depression first diagnosed around ten years old, I also have PTSD diagnosed at 19. I haven't been on meds in years, I found I can manage my symptoms with high cbd concentrate and some medical marijuana but recently I have noticed it doesn't help as much as it once did. I'm sure tolerance has something to do with it. I got married last month and I struggled to feel any emotions during the wedding and the honeymoon afterward. I had fun but I was completely dissociated, looking back it feels like something I watched on TV not experienced myself. Since coming back from our honeymoon I have become more and more depressed. A few days ago marked the 21st anniversary of my dad's death and that's always a difficult time but this isn't that. I can't function. I can barely make myself get out of bed. My new husband wants to dream of our future together and all I can think about are dangerous scenarios to put myself in, in the hope that I get killed. I don't think I will ever have the courage to kill myself but I dream of it often. I don't feel like a serve a purpose or add anything good to the world so why should I be here taking up recourses? I don't want sympathy, really it just makes these feelings worse. I guess I just wanted to shout into the void of the internet that today has been the worst day I've had in a very long time. I'm struggling to be here. ",3.401483466013474,5.094706334507046,4.557342314758113,84.38153398652787,73.6830985915493,8.178567054500919,26.78444580526638,8.841846274778883,2.026880465401102,1125,41,226,23,23,369,163,284,0.191,0.7,0.109,-0.9827,0,0,2,0,0,1,20.0,2,0,0,1,12,17,3,2,16,0,29,5,0,2,3,42,51,16,3,5,8,2,4,2,0,2,5,1,1,0,12,14,0,0,7,3,0,2,8,10,0,2,8,8,33,7,31,39,8,39,0,2,2,0,6,14,0,5,25,154,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711117361105223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760863672207403,0.09115597957743522,0.0,0.0,0.07449906729391692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901519017802012,0.09752444169920547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684773397910585,0.0,0.0,0.12099149670068605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436928502176914,0.11486311151422805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21195579040850174,0.0,0.1887138289977333,0.22238580042135334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323117298287135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909599025462083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215709845418493,0.1565278375772366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318481343960128,0.0,0.12011803378483114,0.0,0.0,0.11447272090303258,0.0,0.0,0.09188695900550667,0.08761868406111703,0.0,0.12068379896993725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343034764743754,0.1157476260638574,0.0,0.10880978276043783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24240595228957554,0.0,0.0,0.08929944249152252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070430760435978,0.0,0.0,0.1939000166139484,0.09199602761636907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625352438206593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168749457210973,0.110362041358202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744330322471691,0.0,0.08053327180884343,0.0,0.0,0.105805934096261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472559539368792,0.11495631913646699,0.116669227240025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806034055866755,0.11012994543249716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018176989807318,0.0,0.10816931181550382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062248638261083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867685179447298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229054921480353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325139503392344,0.11386639920084406,0.08236941546190264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403929030663456,0.0,0.0,0.19164182949379935,0.0,0.10384241755751407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039181327003794,0.1938496954314476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885357472144664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164277325302448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410956988252302
mentalhealth,sixthchance,2019/01/05,Good mental health forums? I want to talk to others online about my mental health issues but I would rather if it was outside of Reddit. Do you have any recommendations?,3.1082258064516104,6.176957806451616,3.8002419354838723,81.62036290322581,83.83870967741936,4.390322580645162,14.201612903225806,5.985473137389443,-0.43887741935483904,136,2,22,1,4,43,27,31,0.0,0.8859999999999999,0.114,0.3527,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936191093402701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388093141145246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6052872973472035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971733173825195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5738608330918538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22884685063721955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679350124265882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225665352281635,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thrroowwaawwaayyy,2019/01/05,"VENT? Maybe a cry for help? I don’t even know anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I [19F] will start by saying I have my first appointment with a psychologist towards the end of the month so I will be getting help but I feel like it’s years away and I am getting worse everyday. I am employed. I have a 3.9GPA in my second year of college. I have friends. But I feel so incredibly lousy. Lousy to the point where I really don’t feel anything at all. It’s like a void. I cry all the time. It goes back in forth from uncontrollable sobs to just sitting there expressionless with constant tears streaming down my face. I am not suicidal and I don’t want to die but at the same time I want to be dead, if that makes sense. Everybody just irritates me and I have to force myself to go out because the only thing that sucks more than interacting with people is when people ask what’s wrong. Especially when you know they are just going to end up feeling guilty for “not being a friend you can turn to” or some other shit like that. I don’t want to hurt anyone that has decided to care but at the same time their care means very little to me. And not in an asshole way, just that it doesn’t make me feel any better when someone reaches out. It just makes me extremely uncomfortable. The only thing that makes me feel anything or at least forget about everything else is sex. I’m not the type to have a ONS or be promiscuous so this is really difficult for me as well. I’m  also afraid that when I begin therapy they are going to prescribe me medication. It’s not that I don’t want meds, it’s that I don’t trust myself with them. Like I said, I’m not suicidal but when I am having a really bad episode I crave death deeply. I just want it to take me. I don’t know what to do anymore and I’m dreading my first appointment. Has anyone dealt with something similar?",1.8823099775378584,4.074303337801609,3.3051604956162595,89.32173755524964,79.96514745308309,6.713397579885515,22.145424244619953,7.824948511530503,0.9808248532715024,1447,45,307,25,37,473,177,373,0.224,0.638,0.138,-0.9937,1,0,1,0,0,2,36.0,0,2,4,3,21,21,2,3,17,0,33,4,2,4,2,59,70,24,5,6,21,0,6,4,2,2,1,2,0,0,23,12,0,0,11,0,0,3,14,10,1,3,1,8,45,11,44,63,7,42,0,2,0,1,14,17,3,5,24,212,68,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539583396720331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411376227919797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18700122948947295,0.13184580209481944,0.0,0.15516912653281975,0.0,0.08813925086122128,0.0,0.08857934212093016,0.07249564662454222,0.07872002065435309,0.05747232881300163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338316655250884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922498745216289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188339185604177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20712472355484696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784795241015723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875900106581965,0.0,0.16700852918611167,0.0,0.0,0.06227117638895688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847329556476895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860253815293856,0.06735378665152293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038936308631718,0.0,0.0,0.14568128201127276,0.0,0.09851501612060158,0.0,0.16074481417933414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638804817711022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092889346032817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544178053081148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842421544424817,0.0944935187832744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517310359801594,0.0,0.0947171230827456,0.10269876621288493,0.1047240372630072,0.09497737275516913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525354825905449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434086660110486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307240256763226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912525370298839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119491189707188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968205073939542,0.07497539130395517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967772603035489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988329912807733,0.07258149645879784,0.0,0.0,0.06673200381621006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062544513690844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088696964709691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781761398901214,0.0,0.1252711380254324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492661110026147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254977359983757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779103065970966,0.2780444942071908,0.07483522652643125,0.0,0.0,0.0847692135031144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960795683024514,0.0,0.1030805875313548,0.0,0.12142670266472945
mentalhealth,1neuser,2019/01/05,"My brother can't concentrate on a thing and has a permanent pressure feeling. Help me! So I just sat down with my brother and we had like a 45 minute conversation about his problems and I am in fear that he could damage himself, so I want to help him! 

Basically he always had a lot of pressure, from sport, our parents or himself and couldn't really relieve that pressure. One day he recognized that and since then he is saying, that he has a permanent pressure in his head. He hoped that it is something physically but the signs are not good I guess. He wants to be alone all the time and thinks by doing nothing and being alone it gets better. I respect that but he is also not trying to fasten up the process and he seems so lost. He is currently doing an internship but he wants to cancel it, because he just can't get things done and although his co-workers are nice to him, it is a very uncomfortable workplace for him. He said, that the only thing why he had not left is the money and the fear of searching for a new job which would be the next huge stress factor for him! I am the only person he speaks to with his problems. He is not capable to tell the doctor these problems, because he just can't, he says!

It would be nice, if you can give me some advice, if you or someone you know has experienced something similar. Where do we have to go, to get a diagnosis and what can we do against it? ",3.7149601762413162,5.0261820177935945,4.746009150991358,84.86899169632267,72.23843416370107,7.487612269106933,27.97169971191323,7.957251820313856,1.6925799356041349,1101,41,223,15,21,360,145,281,0.165,0.7440000000000001,0.091,-0.9695,3,2,2,0,0,0,27.0,4,3,0,2,9,20,0,7,18,0,36,2,1,0,1,50,53,24,0,13,14,3,1,1,0,2,1,4,0,1,19,16,0,0,4,1,1,1,8,12,0,1,7,6,27,8,25,38,3,15,0,2,0,0,48,8,0,9,7,161,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657731235549125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24711495645298184,0.0,0.09540313009291612,0.09926607813750003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544676473436796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551000854541473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525030732628792,0.0,0.0,0.0769377944263577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210727815806488,0.0,0.12208399331257845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684884169178827,0.06032100901798259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18698594612961955,0.11444218701932772,0.06780020244258901,0.1000620924128138,0.0,0.0,0.13142097176744758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243488747472375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992681250366786,0.0,0.0,0.11849053071111686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838555513851973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655634475166816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961839042338275,0.0,0.0,0.058283320523124724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022862745435385,0.10142349155943244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152194312440972,0.12687552459371515,0.0,0.0,0.11447032351855588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083988897088994,0.18146407964470612,0.0,0.0,0.13246709219453756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416702633659147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424582428423868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642580428431611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348038616313764,0.18974223465582946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860505912659517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868512033957223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010814043423464,0.1836839407336308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366562617987408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427232516810983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377702728865635,0.07644179213660778,0.0,0.0,0.06956403338954789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099598870851919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843392436402536,0.21109639875332994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764852418852608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868508769936176,0.0,0.0,0.1694927522483563,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cazz_rr,2019/01/05,"Is this psychosis? I made a post in r/psychosis 

Im sorry for bad formatting and stuff i just typed it out as quick as i could, i want to know whats happening. Please read it",-1.9828195488721791,-0.3621480789473655,0.5008270676691708,101.14078947368424,108.73684210526315,4.276691729323309,15.954887218045116,6.18269132825596,-0.4233954887218041,135,4,33,2,7,45,31,38,0.14,0.7559999999999999,0.105,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,6,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,6,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,21,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574905875254673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24622223550770594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727059486324919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331112984459855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948164334892568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918036029020106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385167448917598,0.0,0.0,0.295349871436217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084708418814209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452144326782639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530297780802564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18189487141012825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tthestral,2019/01/05,"Hate Being Touched To clarify- I’m 17 years old, female, and am diagnosed with OCD (subtype checking), panic disorder

I have no idea if this is related to my mental heath, so I’m here to seek clarification or justification. I HATE being touched, specifically when someone (usually family) lays a hand on my shoulder or leg and leaves it there. After it’s gone, it feels like I can still feel it and it drives me to either panic or become extremely uncomfortable and shut down usually. Everyone around me is aware I don’t like this, but choose to ignore it (“I’m gonna touch you now so be prepared...”) 

Does this happen to anyone else? Is this something related to anxiety or just a quirk of mine?",4.123636363636365,6.143879848484852,5.717272727272729,75.44590909090908,72.48484848484848,9.345454545454547,28.66666666666667,9.800150414767053,3.039430303030303,548,22,99,15,11,186,91,132,0.152,0.8059999999999999,0.042,-0.9157,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,9,7,2,2,2,0,10,4,3,1,0,21,20,13,0,1,8,0,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,6,0,1,2,2,5,0,0,1,6,10,2,13,15,1,14,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,5,10,65,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091201467902766,0.0,0.0,0.11965627716753162,0.1753402737676503,0.0,0.1523396928042806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899680037299615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17369073808550198,0.0,0.0,0.1961268592549628,0.0,0.14975476619991682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295500821773874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635195917774585,0.0,0.0,0.1613237099749766,0.0,0.17305433966776718,0.12225346936812465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132742018099324,0.0,0.0,0.3379058147499908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19318203747701687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811992383091595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720843551816802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245619868676276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956944985313253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015623325981029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449957151408105,0.13174225526364905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366625857392957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3769453723692876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020045355058912
mentalhealth,dina0312,2019/01/05,"My brother needs help? Hi All. My father died in November from lung cancer. It's been pretty difficult for my mother, my brother and me but my brother seems to be struggling the most. 
He's pushing everyone away and gets angry whenever anyone tries to suggest that he see a doctor or a therapist. 

His work is suffering (he runs a small business), his relationship with his partner (they have a son together who is two)  is suffering and neither me nor my mother know how we can help him. 

He is pretty reliant on cannabis unfortunately and I'm sure that's not helping but he seems to be blaming a lot of this on his partner saying that she's doesn't care about how he feels about our father and that she wasn't ever there for him. He says that she always questioned what was wrong when he started crying about it and I've tried to explain that when people are dying/ pass away, people don't know how to react. I'm pretty sure it's a perfectly normal reaction but it doesn't mean that she doesn't care at all.

I really have no idea what to do with him. How can I get him to see a doctor/ therapist as I really REALLY think that he needs some help that unfortunately none of us are able to provide?",5.258423988842402,5.714046418410046,6.225673640167365,78.80659972105998,68.07949790794979,9.21852161785216,29.74086471408647,9.21078282632365,2.4387604463040446,950,33,184,17,15,316,126,239,0.202,0.679,0.119,-0.9729,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,3,0,1,2,12,10,0,1,8,0,20,4,1,5,6,41,39,18,2,3,5,8,1,0,2,0,3,2,0,2,17,9,0,0,10,0,0,3,10,5,0,1,3,5,27,5,25,34,7,14,0,2,2,0,47,7,0,7,4,126,44,3,0.11177686583403244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300730663194362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815698353273669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21003608984098893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279279285107863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278163848141882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320134788890074,0.0,0.0,0.22881671714496504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110857449322076,0.0,0.10680758539676946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05651774188472069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167975979565554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996867080533699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618247599975194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228592844896072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950286941535459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175777540433665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657622593928216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951759604159564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549840094987574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411517711855489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252156710716042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21482136739052946,0.0,0.0,0.12000652258147157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17777890021221876,0.0,0.0,0.17814338054023776,0.20351492121963247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911624094969928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685344952923148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21069674644740966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595631128689863,0.0,0.07162210227442181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517783093502682,0.0,0.10918975610600654,0.0,0.13445380687585032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137488958322256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221045576314908,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VoodooChild3270,2019/01/05,"Predisposed to mental health issue? I was wondering if there is any way to know if your are predisposed to any mental health issues without looking at family history. I have been struggling with anxiety but it's getting better and I want to start smoking weed again however I have read a few stories of it bringing out mental disorders that people are predisposed to having. Thanks

one love ",5.034142857142856,8.035788985714287,5.6728571428571435,72.20214285714287,73.42857142857143,9.142857142857146,31.42857142857143,9.606745405546679,3.915285714285714,319,15,46,9,7,103,53,70,0.043,0.7609999999999999,0.196,0.9287,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,8,3,0,0,0,10,17,4,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,5,3,10,15,1,6,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,3,2,35,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23676973458680434,0.0,0.133175783314148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396546320017165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19951834195099055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641133664907518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095307072338826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700918603282053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634023920608185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567345036808562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618891103584716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711996604837336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5263150843060701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796559513210675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068973868947268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413372444108288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232194015007609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819931273459473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027556501752332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268079544306903,0.1381818512322387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781328372690835,0.18878950698722216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SaneInsanity92,2019/01/05,"What do you do when you need mental health help, but have no one to help with homelife? I feel that my medicine isn't working as well as it used to. My husband and I live paycheck to paycheck and I do not have insurance. I use Dr. On Demand monthly to take care of my medicine. I'm breaking down more than ever lately. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, MDD, and GAD in summer of 2015. Neither of us have family to help (came from terrible homes), he works 60-70 hours a week, I take care of my 5 year old and 6 year old. The oldest goes to Kindergarten, so I'm here with my youngest and take care of the family and household.

I feel like I need help. I haven't felt this awful since I first went to seek help. My anxiety has been higher than normal this week and my chest hurts. I felt like I'm in constant fight or flight. I'm usually in tears on on the verge. It's becoming harder to get daily stuff done. 

I finally lost it this afternoon and punched the dryer and kicked over the laundry. Immediately I sent my kids to the room and my husband help me come to. I was still frantic, but it soon turned to tears. I've been in tears for the past few hours. I can't bring myself together still. 

I've been in mental hospitals and done CBT, so I know how to cope, but lately it feels like no matter what I do, I'm drowning in depression and anxiety. 

What do I do? I'm sick to my stomach and I can't keep going like this. It isn't healthy for my girls. I feel like I may need to get more intensive help, but I can't pay for it and if I leave the home, everything will fall apart and we will fall even more behind on bills/possibly lose what we have left. ",2.3880721472918007,3.6254181647398838,3.6632691072575487,91.62333868550634,75.44508670520231,7.206850781417255,23.508456433311924,7.793537801064563,0.8826948405052448,1279,37,294,18,27,418,169,346,0.161,0.695,0.14400000000000002,-0.6882,0,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,3,2,0,5,11,16,1,1,9,1,27,6,2,3,1,47,62,27,1,5,7,2,6,5,0,3,4,0,3,2,17,22,0,1,7,0,1,8,10,7,1,2,13,6,40,9,43,46,5,49,0,4,0,0,19,16,0,3,29,178,57,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13142823075678955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487102903663576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824798754165154,0.26274572535963,0.0,0.0,0.07399620158113185,0.0,0.09282858488871973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398650169089592,0.08718782023708144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758133231287642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056736874167974925,0.07770247352272812,0.0,0.0,0.07720238031854677,0.0,0.16195984633738356,0.0,0.17373673259161,0.18410331422589488,0.16495707677484225,0.09410046912517438,0.0,0.0730674417845413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975957091894314,0.0,0.04881958140783711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130886488890946,0.0,0.0,0.4030439314875888,0.0,0.1723316380972863,0.0,0.16919058325412933,0.0,0.09195891679327743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635285505423249,0.0,0.0,0.04720900451778751,0.0,0.19380039131953414,0.09095687421754224,0.09333180927572332,0.0,0.0,0.2098347208776489,0.0,0.07585225546964741,0.0,0.0,0.09610137141139667,0.0937712108606492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731362330036288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856544786625839,0.0,0.0,0.1910837577737077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416485099654429,0.0,0.0,0.1802775333496422,0.0,0.058208816470079125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200233109290626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041380277853793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710582873294438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720147763672855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983362213097752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376083656561385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343574247491046,0.0,0.0,0.10332846072813788,0.14838196007773502,0.09460793859127603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378093807650835,0.0,0.07723541578535717,0.0796311912123878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250740648841653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063499919591396
mentalhealth,Mzmzmzlalalaksksks,2019/01/05,"What else is there to enjoy besides being intimate with someone? Nothing I’ve tried has been anywhere near as enjoyable as having someone you care about want to be with you.

I don’t really take enjoyment from any activity that doesn’t involve spending time with such a person. Just talking, cuddling, having sex.

I don’t know how to enjoy other things anymore.",6.008181818181818,7.971621636363636,6.364060606060607,72.94609090909094,67.48484848484848,8.31030303030303,34.41212121212121,8.841846274778883,3.369161212121213,292,14,44,5,5,94,52,66,0.0,0.75,0.25,0.9492,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,10,2,0,1,0,7,14,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,5,11,11,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,34,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027281118661484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29564952065954003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30394764464570523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249036447260841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383595633698547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28604894398048497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603021199318899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909798097569284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5051829693397439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22414503534963506,0.2396131770995021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19805405563806247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383298726222046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20240020578758555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583568120659396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,descendedhero,2019/01/05,"Can't concentrate, my thoughts consume me Hello everyone, hope you're having a great weekend.

I(17f) have my past with mental health problems (depression and anxiety) but lately it's becoming very noticable that I can't concentrate. If someone is talking to me I can look at them, hear them, but not know what they said to me. I can never pay attention in class, I'm always thinking of something, or doing something and if I think about concentrating I forget that I'm doing that and start doing something else. 

And what are the thoughts that I think? I don't know how else to explain it, but it's like having three (more or less) diffrent mind sets (I can be paranoid, happy, sad, chill, normal). Like I can think of something and have an argument iside my head on what I should think.

I'm not sure what to expect from this and I'm sorry if this is confusing.",3.3689357429718854,5.576362439759038,4.15130120481928,85.01076706827313,75.20481927710844,7.077269076305221,26.729317269076304,8.021203637495839,1.767575582329317,679,26,128,11,15,217,98,166,0.12,0.777,0.103,-0.2141,1,0,4,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,3,0,2,10,0,1,3,0,19,2,1,1,2,39,38,15,0,8,10,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,13,7,0,0,11,1,1,0,6,4,0,1,3,3,19,6,12,33,2,9,0,2,1,0,8,3,0,7,7,87,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489734095830327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563424178194084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250344863734375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893195188298353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307037125513149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194562879698413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15223861592371107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469934862437714,0.0,0.0,0.14171450383976164,0.14677733474718266,0.15563123363727022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371490358326386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177522724916032,0.0,0.15576529697007158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492219448927226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595617754146728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915666819074912,0.0,0.13942595148759684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064992560888302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529346272890755,0.0,0.15721008458915572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318172514302577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212818930732895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134995222643253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699852353569755,0.4252166855590505,0.0,0.15457425929474736,0.09773689875473507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301429790412763,0.0,0.0,0.11098706663440888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423947646253189,0.0,0.21924729037559376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393414932592892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dekron10,2019/01/05,"Can't concentrate, extremely tired - bad sleep quality? Basically as the title says, I can't concentrate. I'm extremely tired and I sleep a lot. My memory is extremely bad; I can barely remember what I did on my birthday few weeks ago. Now it's been like this for some time and I couldn't really find any cause for this.

Anyway, I got a smartwatch for christmas. And said smartwatch apparently can track my sleep and tell me how much time I spend in the different phases (REM, deep sleep, etc.). It's been recording my sleep for almost 2 weeks now and when I went to check the stats (just because I was curious), it said I spend almost 0 minutes in deep sleep. Maximum I got was 20 minutes during a 10 hour sleep. How accurate are these things? And is it normal if I actually rarely spend time in the deep sleep phase? Or could that actually be a cause for my symptoms? I have no idea how this stuff works so I didn't really know where to post this either, I hope I can find some help here. Thanks in advance.",2.48116371330336,4.6868548894472415,3.7932293044168235,86.52179846601429,77.99497487437186,7.807564136471832,23.036498280878078,8.6894789155246,1.5938381909547732,789,25,162,18,19,258,110,199,0.052000000000000005,0.857,0.092,0.7542,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,11,5,0,0,8,0,18,11,8,5,0,29,27,14,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,13,6,0,0,5,0,4,2,5,2,0,0,11,3,22,3,13,13,7,22,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,8,11,101,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.17764590659740634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068424966384033,0.0,0.18228791998754687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189711360445895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519967597649083,0.05548529893098142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870064107496944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267252434138376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950971302471116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015120035839652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663823168451087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455949406670488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061009174147331625,0.0,0.0,0.09040397053869226,0.08963693366898333,0.0,0.0,0.1027511523966476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050022528738299314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044468056306674816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738243965861473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691059707398209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918083998452055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717255237698178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662022471247065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310857036638453,0.0,0.1731628245032277,0.0723832161474229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7286904879641738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419678420947404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460523068375122,0.0,0.0,0.07955599621273643,0.08379951832290801,0.0,0.0,0.06047002691835356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592244912912168,0.20922952724110666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602243322312053,0.0,0.0,0.08437698679678407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626406412283832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jjjustathrowaway,2019/01/05,"Stopping Wellbutrin HCL I’ve been taking Wellbutrin HCL for a few months now. I’m prescribed 150 mg two times a day. Recently my boyfriend alluded to the fact that I’ve been much angrier lately and blames me being on medication, so I have been considering getting off of it altogether. It sucks because Wellbutrin is the ONLY thing that has ever worked for my severe depression, but I feel that it’s important for me to stop because I can’t stand the idea of me being an angry person.

I’ve been very sick the past few days and have only been able to take my morning dose. I have yet to feel any side effects from cutting my dose in half, but is this a safe thing to do? I’ve heard mixed reviews on cutting your dose, and it sounds like it all depends on the type of Wellbutrin you take. I’m just not sure if I’m going about this the right way or not? I’m seeing my doctor in a couple of weeks, but me getting off meds can’t wait any longer if it’s going to make me easily agitated and hard to deal with. 

Has anyone had any experience with getting off Wellbutrin HCL before? Is cutting my dose in half a safe and okay thing for me to be doing?",5.786025641025642,5.295907602564103,6.457350427350428,80.82653846153846,66.99145299145299,9.080341880341882,30.820512820512814,8.384062270229773,2.107805128205128,905,30,186,11,13,298,124,234,0.151,0.769,0.08,-0.9112,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,2,6,10,4,0,12,1,21,7,0,3,4,31,40,12,0,2,9,0,3,1,0,0,7,2,0,1,14,7,0,5,4,0,0,2,4,5,0,3,7,6,18,5,29,30,4,28,0,1,1,0,5,11,1,4,14,119,32,4,0.13903166703374786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836389035458756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721417423726984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950482755698856,0.0,0.11830570847958095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383589514827165,0.0,0.1793278468678545,0.14333554385178102,0.11974777109106967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230480248520302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257621025451795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599964844427007,0.0,0.0,0.14059717657288906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21791492311408026,0.0,0.15802980072260606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245450650597699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15694982908842675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15683377620722774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792384975192609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928047173436143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443283962874602,0.14005977766328792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097375018686273,0.0,0.10220427245844403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114796955720489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272145794475035,0.0,0.12139708895247815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727699829053935,0.0,0.0,0.11873228399069816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107902381352853,0.0,0.0,0.15706620995747916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324733981323213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103570080711338,0.0,0.3136035327147838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770993853140806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107048311042757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581373660062285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471568587691815,0.0,0.11035686589997087,0.11152281703359616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121670945973103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JasonRiverThompson,2019/01/05,"Want to let it all out (Sorry for depressing post) Right, 

Hello everyone, I hope you are all having a great day. 

Right at this moment I am crying (I know it is unmasculine to some) and I can feel myself falling. 

I have a job, I have started a hobby (youtube), its my birthday tomorrow. I should be happy. But why am I lying here crying. 

I have tried to remain positive and help others but sometimes I wish I had some help. I know it is selfish of me. 

I just feel like going on a train and never turning back.

 My mom and siblings are awesome, I do not want to upset them. 

I am 20 tomorrow I should be excited but im not. 

I feel like I dont know my place in the world. Whats my destiny? 

I spend alot of time trying to make youtube videos that will benefit people and chilling with my family but I just feel disconnected. 

I try to be happy but I just feel like my life is meaningless and it is annoying. 

I try to motivate others and myself but honestly what is the point? 

It feels better writing it all down. 

I do not want to upset anyone or ruin anyones day.
",0.4327082594824532,2.7374876359447065,3.053940092165899,88.03277827011698,87.38709677419355,5.919106699751861,20.788550159517907,7.321109707123232,0.8660990428925914,815,27,167,14,26,283,117,217,0.12,0.623,0.257,0.9891,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,2,5,17,1,2,7,0,26,1,0,2,4,48,44,14,0,7,13,1,6,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,13,9,0,0,10,1,1,2,5,6,0,0,1,6,35,11,17,36,6,22,0,2,0,0,7,10,0,5,12,126,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647991099489534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153927243653516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528679658796396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615335869203842,0.1535500569731789,0.0,0.10253442170079917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952140141590966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375386118238567,0.0,0.0,0.11222627643845846,0.0,0.3611603805561293,0.2551401461879831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765676755796142,0.0,0.0,0.13124898899856688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534540443869723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958847894308964,0.0,0.0,0.11823985777815026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128590454960415,0.0,0.1181351042868833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962742338132764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217329286957918,0.08408593702856491,0.1744800573041756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946434357176325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942561217137894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181586160611817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825317295420501,0.0,0.12437806756193565,0.0,0.11253725236697527,0.0,0.11401346792396955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20332981508178047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773985531912755,0.13326260971660686,0.08426159861990926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941686702803285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232985497835215,0.12948821206434488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106498132490149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742078808905957,0.0,0.13689739385303926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jesteron,2019/01/05,"How do you deal with Separation Anxiety Disorder? I hope thats the correct translate of it to english.

I can’t really share a lot of details, but as part of my job (I’m serving in the military), every few months most of the people in by base leave and new people come.

That’s really messed me up since every time I’m creating connections with new people, they leave me after a few months.. this makes me feel very lonely..

Just wanted to know, how do you guys deal with this? 
Can you write me a bit about your situation? Will make me feel little better to know that I’m not alone in this situation.

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mentalhealth,stingray1967,2019/01/05,EMERGENCY I don’t know why I’m crying for help when I really want to die I am planning to kill myself in the next hour I have had a fucking shit night which adds on to everything I really really really am wanting to die and ain’t gonna let it fail this time ,5.009473684210526,3.788803280701753,7.139298245614036,77.7184210526316,68.82456140350878,11.810526315789476,27.771929824561404,11.20814326018867,2.83741403508772,205,5,46,6,3,74,43,57,0.388,0.55,0.062,-0.9765,0,0,0,0,0,2,0.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,3,0,2,0,7,2,1,0,0,5,13,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,6,0,7,10,0,7,0,1,0,1,1,2,2,0,5,27,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734029643463805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295920279272125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860059477605322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19133493412602792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872364363480238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20381790471025946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228975062884286,0.0,0.11374203220069325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21163476876094467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201086207394209,0.1942217457446114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5303458937029697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212445628584894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068240499084312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441455241082061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675286868484306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LO-Ol4,2019/01/05,"I just sold my sister out to my parents and I feel guilty. I'm kind of new to reddit. So I'm not sure is this is the right place or not. But I'm just so startled and I dont know what to do.

So heres a little background. My family has currently moved quite aways to a new home with new possibilities. (New year, new home.) But like I said it's quite far from our old home so we have to go on weekends to our old home to finish bringing the rest of things over to our new home. The older and stronger ones go with my parents while the younger ones stay. Now I'm one of the older siblings so theres no doubt I'm expected to go along with my parents to help move. But last time I went, we stayed at the old house for 3 days moving everything. And I had the worst mental and physical experience ever. On the drive there I have no idea what happened. But pretty much, I forgot my own identity. My mind was in a fog so bad and my head was aching. I only had 4 hrs of sleep. Memories were dashing back and forth. My body was screaming and my head felt like it was on fire. When I finally got back, it took me the entire week to finally feel ""normal"" again. 

So here I am again. My parents are going back down and they expect me to come with them. But I became so afraid. I didnt want to repeat the same events as last time. And I felt that going back would trigger me to remember some pretty heavy memories. I was afraid of what would happen to my mental health again. 
But it didnt matter. My dad didnt care and he wanted me to come. So at the last moment I pushed everything onto my sister and convinced my parents to bring her and not me. And for some reason they agreed. My sister began yelling and complaining about how she didnt want to go. But my dad didnt care. Everyone was yelling and screaming and my sister was so mad at me. She was yelling at me and she didnt even want to look at me. What I did was so unlike me! Normally I'd apologize and go with my parents. But I froze and all I could do was curl up into a ball and hide. I couldnt even look at her. I didnt even say a word to her. I hid in the corner of the room as everyone left and I didnt even say goodbye. I was afraid of everyone. I feel so guilty. She's my best friend and I threw her under the bus. I'm so disappointed in myself. I think the guilt is going to kill me before the fear does. ",0.4486855788346844,2.4154788230616333,2.375342942345924,95.26135972625784,83.83101391650099,5.539210888515064,18.221784676556045,6.759486899279683,-0.11046471937605153,1820,43,426,21,52,605,214,503,0.139,0.802,0.059,-0.9882,7,0,0,0,3,1,52.0,5,0,3,3,36,24,2,7,21,0,38,5,4,3,3,84,81,50,1,12,14,12,7,2,1,2,1,8,6,0,11,35,0,1,10,2,1,20,15,15,0,3,33,17,74,9,60,44,9,88,0,1,2,0,36,27,0,4,41,288,85,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056164366819246116,0.18386553759952332,0.04991299337055058,0.0,0.0,0.05086755189428796,0.0,0.0627344042793206,0.0,0.0,0.06640102650121345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189741101086225,0.0,0.0,0.10298868289901088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04772869147056782,0.0,0.0,0.03855252918000962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052313032303131286,0.0,0.07006057835930657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793394302705965,0.0540735553657228,0.0,0.17136427582070066,0.10745107580904603,0.05847536237896615,0.05635434961659753,0.06726802870355743,0.0906782217116705,0.0,0.11479448747977312,0.13097001154518598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04618513056017516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27179040444996183,0.0,0.047810751489308204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572479823059172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270106277971032,0.06354231386865118,0.0,0.0,0.04006862395577945,0.0,0.2998162076266983,0.0,0.0,0.06897697493774159,0.0,0.06748324893665733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613664008216473,0.062250661064574685,0.03285299172370045,0.14618366500863614,0.0,0.0,0.0649500913864436,0.0,0.0,0.058410029347184984,0.0599142929255413,0.0,0.0,0.10039865952110677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204864048297764,0.0,0.06035977956760294,0.0,0.0,0.1906069463657208,0.04394446557069688,0.0,0.0,0.3464097601129368,0.0,0.0,0.11714151490629815,0.0,0.0,0.18818410931139345,0.0,0.12152345417603805,0.0454646463275105,0.0,0.0,0.3982652329948809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062456363397798115,0.0,0.0,0.06739187475535552,0.0,0.12163352963075055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716471424720252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06146279938332722,0.0,0.0,0.06771798816111957,0.05105096529189531,0.05686354712313318,0.0950773685779466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05982220205087576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743298500021355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634102864918525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03971453151187005,0.0383039888768789,0.0,0.0,0.06971526665471818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641670227471813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410368836869879,0.0,0.04795113233130885,0.0,0.0,0.05541576003500087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849306160330523,0.0,0.0,0.03849573561295367
mentalhealth,b3astM0de3,2019/01/05,"How do I give up on my dad, and move on with my life? For years I've been trying to get to my dad so I can get him to stop his alcohol, and weed addiction and quit being so narcissistic and apathetic. I feel like I'm tied to him like if he's a failure I'll become one to, but if I get him to become succesful. I'll become succesful as well .",2.2962337662337653,2.284709792207792,5.280935064935068,84.62997402597405,74.45454545454545,9.276883116883116,24.49090909090909,9.3871,1.6263735064935063,262,7,65,6,5,97,47,77,0.075,0.84,0.085,0.17,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,0,11,10,11,0,2,3,2,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,11,3,12,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,2,4,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22248859798569506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181105080947156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6762052455582037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319420930143527,0.14580218132663994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198863410188393,0.19578205325885445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415504444321764,0.1994164645041982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21691573507159026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829689784996582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707520102526628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062866473314775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385639455877119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350172800296866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13142748908400512
mentalhealth,SuburbanImp,2019/01/05,"nervous break down - advice fairly sure i'm in the middle or near to some sort of breakdown, I don't have anyone immediately that I can talk to and wanted to know if anyone has some advice or similar experiences to share. ",8.70767441860465,7.026151046511633,9.534534883720934,64.99854651162794,61.79069767441861,11.390697674418604,33.127906976744185,10.125756701596842,3.2204976744186045,177,5,31,3,2,61,34,43,0.049,0.845,0.106,0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,10,7,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,8,7,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,6,0,22,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6545079008321215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4683304979349187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275900020475638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18404865208508528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156330621935132,0.0,0.0,0.2691746259672098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975288016018416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nummoth,2019/01/05,"I think I have depression but this is the only version of me I know, and I cant tell. So, I'm a really ""moody"" 24 year old whose parents live with her (long story). Anyways, I'm tired 24/7. Doesnt matter if I sleep 5 hours or 11, I'll be dead tired by 2pm. I am generally locked into my bedroom lying in bed 3 or 4 times a week. I dont go outside for days on end. I never ""feel"" like hanging out with my friends-it just seems like so much work. I dont eat enough and I'm lucky If i drink half a glass of water in a day. I have no hobbies because I feel no enjoyment when I do them. Actually I dont really feel ""enjoyment"" in general, unless it something extreme. I cant get sexually aroused by others. I cant really connect with others. Sometimes I just feel like crying for no reason (and there are my mornings and night lately where I just sob). My parent get angry at me for being locked in my room all the time, but their presence, alone, irrtates me. Hearing them speak irritates me half the time. I get snappy around them.

I'm a student. I still manage to motivate myself to do well in classes, but I starve myself studying for exams, 6 hours straight. I get so focused that I can't take care of myself. In class, I can't pay attention. Everything goes in one ear and out the other. I cant see before exams, and in general, I'm lucky If I only wake up twice or three times in a night. Sometimes I wake up and I feel..so physically and mentally slow and foggy.  So unreal. Also, I keep losing my memories. Like memories of my life...",1.3008958333333318,3.144088131250001,3.8362500000000033,86.55708333333338,80.1875,6.7666666666666675,23.166666666666664,7.793537801064563,1.184404166666667,1182,40,250,20,30,414,172,320,0.194,0.716,0.08900000000000001,-0.9874,2,1,2,0,0,1,56.0,0,0,4,3,15,14,0,0,10,0,19,11,5,2,2,48,41,25,1,3,13,2,4,4,0,0,3,3,3,0,7,16,3,1,10,1,1,2,14,4,1,5,0,8,48,10,33,39,4,42,0,3,1,1,11,20,1,9,24,161,55,9,0.0,0.0,0.09975295890635204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587013674124188,0.0,0.08174610370377393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099836983066767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062312978105510224,0.0,0.08698254944705336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422113101447232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228497809769686,0.13184818812110813,0.0,0.08804280498350714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3594067825846276,0.10013767255437338,0.0,0.10459761137451434,0.0,0.0,0.09053747288080463,0.10562162735646746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186965134593937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584300669117367,0.14605341804037314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362503205884698,0.0,0.05809455491251522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521050597025725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20133420537603414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085872927954593,0.0,0.0,0.056177993055948505,0.0,0.11530975021604985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220172145959157,0.1997600858187113,0.0,0.09026302343330136,0.09046237596740037,0.0,0.11435916158287995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301473410381053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514420307411533,0.0,0.07883914361334067,0.0,0.0,0.1918549839957664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726375317704287,0.0,0.06926760097682186,0.15548736670063928,0.0,0.0,0.22700866617951984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19645618702191595,0.10510022180003747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814569093131845,0.0930581671426351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229483146222004,0.0,0.0,0.07869472654254232,0.20219838272257984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163382956992755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685747696004701,0.0,0.08934566715289415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654990948537595,0.0,0.0,0.2384235687854865,0.23497602430184336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199552728069527,0.0,0.09190896304598542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441811175974349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582697813751957
mentalhealth,maarkiez,2019/01/05,"I forgot my native tongue because of a trauma and don’t want to speak it again So, quite a few years back, when I moved to Canada, I stopped speaking my mother tongue and switched completely to English hoping that this will help me with my mental well being and it’s been working out great. I have painful memories associated with my native tongue, I have been groped by people who speak it and almost raped, also, I never felt like I belong in my country of birth because people there made me feel different on the basis of my skin colour (I’m white). I’m a much happier person right now than I was when I spoke my native lang. please don’t tell me your native language is part of you and your heritage, because that’s not enough of a reason to retain it in such a situation and my ancestors didn’t speak my native language, they came from somewhere else with a different culture and different everything.",12.666190476190481,7.544157685714289,11.428428571428572,65.07540476190479,57.85714285714285,13.952380952380953,43.45238095238096,10.504223727775694,4.5124095238095245,725,25,131,10,6,232,107,175,0.081,0.81,0.109,0.6055,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,1,2,10,7,1,0,7,0,11,3,1,2,1,24,21,11,0,2,1,1,3,1,0,1,1,5,0,1,8,12,0,3,3,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,9,10,25,4,19,10,4,16,0,0,2,1,15,5,0,2,10,93,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534817426969602,0.0,0.0,0.12257314012655066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785822352121302,0.0,0.2803031722970097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530459145112373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070484360656287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4804160344844663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280407360182152,0.0,0.0,0.158372985913467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377527629770483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749992567052165,0.0,0.14716704980204254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16898509536495315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273631263415024,0.0,0.0,0.15223563849926028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488192060956382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503153842782932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544641134721481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290597562222894,0.11267400543613056,0.0,0.1182143363381994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309431295229082,0.0,0.0,0.16598077536444775,0.0,0.2125217465477032,0.13383292040089131,0.0,0.1682487940757865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302573621384095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759117108150086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089513471417347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17228636658852686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814390384495525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396820745508214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040495994698808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781170839829818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158527718623523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987034127595377
mentalhealth,fenderdelux77,2019/01/05,"I`m Depressed and Suicidal But I Don`t Know Why Something really serious has been going on with me lately and at this point I just want to give up everything and fucking die. Lately I\`ve been feeling very depressed and sometimes even feel like committing suicide but the thing is I really have no idea why i feel this way. And how am I supposed to help myself if IDK why I feel this way? How is anyone else supposed to help me if IDK why? Sometimes though I think the reason I feel this way is because the things I enjoy doing don\`t entertain me as much as they used to. Not that I don\`t find enjoyment in them at all, just that I don\`t get maximum enjoyment out of them. There\`s this YouTube channel I watch and it\`s basically my happy place but now when I watch it I laugh now and then, but mostly I\`m feeling nothing. This is pretty much the same with everything I enjoy doing. For some reason I used to start having thoughts about depression or suicide usually late in the day then the next day I\`d feel better, but now I just feel like this pretty much all the fucking time. I told my mother to try and help me but it was no point because my parents are a bunch of fucking useless cunts that don\`t have any fucking good advice. I told my mother that I want to see a counsellor and she got angry with me and told me that a counsellors advice is gonna be the same as hers. After that I feel like I can\`t trust my family, or anyone for that matter. I even considering just deciding to accept living like this. I just want these fucking feelings to go away right now. Right fucking now. ",4.267784030010721,5.907994067524122,4.716483118971063,84.32795083065383,71.34726688102894,7.627063236870311,26.78469989281886,8.212053250817874,1.7330802786709536,1269,43,241,19,24,402,150,311,0.154,0.637,0.209,0.958,1,0,1,0,0,3,41.0,0,0,3,1,17,27,7,0,11,0,17,6,0,6,3,64,52,29,4,5,16,3,10,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,20,14,0,0,19,2,0,2,3,12,0,0,8,13,41,15,29,42,10,36,0,4,3,6,15,13,7,6,22,169,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943406174054648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04851671428775266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977148248480476,0.07310088307609877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703051701697801,0.0,0.0,0.08698190395783012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309842261976786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202261539117493,0.0,0.1843467694872424,0.0,0.07404433903055302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595991845816068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424475388197616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282396931259045,0.0,0.06725725588811637,0.0,0.3607392864752927,0.15290559968731246,0.0,0.0,0.0652075909427137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.395741107185068,0.03727456259205792,0.06844015635699492,0.08109345997421431,0.05984039127969892,0.0570607232449095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594755907526014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346216642441004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080539269333657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039209077668076166,0.0,0.24143914936253635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942129815935214,0.0,0.06299851069487332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573392747425692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587569730385453,0.0,0.0,0.06845698290021877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921963690207594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453982955114641,0.0,0.13488724779248595,0.0,0.0,0.14516603390168092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914102418200783,0.146708080346895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218556459024806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685233861382845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492449048511956,0.14112309218012462,0.0,0.05049801240646806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23411794750261744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479624648471903,0.045714682166592815,0.07009562025538886,0.0566395728252778,0.04160155835889268,0.0,0.0,0.2045182142526248,0.0,0.04843824009204095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323750218111885,0.0785758998761402,0.05886669374090823,0.1262425239622209,0.16988985710577142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257509298588228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dimeadozen27,2019/01/05,"Vacation and depression? What is it called when everytime I go on vacation, I get so excited beforehand (I do love to travel) but while I am away I get depressed and feel guilty for going away... I feel as though I don't deserve it but at the same time don't want to go back home. I'm not happy with my life at home; I have no friends, family is distant because they are busy and I haven't dated in like 7 years. The only thing i feel I have going is my job so i pick up extra and work like 7 days a week. So needless to say, i feel being away/ travelling is the only way for me to explore, express myself and experience things.

I domt even understand how that works.. I feel depressed and guilty for going away but them get depressed about coming home.",2.415544455544456,4.075546948051951,4.0481818181818205,87.13842657342659,76.27272727272728,7.335864135864138,24.183816183816184,8.139509932561175,1.350611988011988,586,19,123,10,13,196,91,154,0.222,0.7240000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9813,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,2,9,10,0,0,4,0,13,2,0,2,0,23,31,17,0,1,4,0,5,2,1,0,1,1,3,0,6,8,0,0,7,2,0,9,5,4,0,0,0,6,21,6,19,30,2,27,0,4,0,1,7,9,0,0,10,85,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378913236517942,0.0895954234342652,0.0,0.07102850826922624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897826890182513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037024636310167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751447002291044,0.0,0.4014283567848874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695927515776729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397731018472612,0.10984313606955706,0.0,0.2945759086265498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002179272808854,0.0,0.18262809551182127,0.0,0.3311003341080658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403595650010038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506322338657453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562648914838825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230036062570206,0.11384996624147065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516236537545053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723492035249014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266007331195393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481923643786474,0.0,0.1144786930706922,0.0,0.06794279033808864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212997177270718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872554519329156,0.09248684742629676,0.09346399681997257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696535016367554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503400099193026
mentalhealth,kmw920,2019/01/05,"Do you work? I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression in mid May last year. The most severe panic attacks I have had were lasting for two to three hours and I could do was to lie down and try to inhale and exhale deeper. My limbs were all numb, cold and crooked. My vision was white and blurry. Couldn't get up to pee. I haven't had those serious panic attacks since October last year. Haven't worked since May. What about you? 
I'm after mid 20s... Now still having choking anxiety and psychogenic cough. Also underweight. BMI below 12. Thinking about working a little bit. ",2.104303030303033,4.966847490909097,2.9318181818181834,87.10439393939397,87.72727272727272,5.842424242424243,21.87878787878788,7.3011,1.2073151515151517,464,16,82,8,15,146,77,110,0.27,0.7040000000000001,0.026,-0.982,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,3,5,7,2,2,2,0,17,4,1,0,1,15,20,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,7,3,8,0,13,9,3,16,0,1,1,0,2,7,0,3,9,56,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690189009510916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427901523967584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610586103746612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732450409831097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669861062287602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667683052111446,0.16106390568153198,0.0,0.0,0.1818689833945335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290737757402261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627467270856654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38805311190597774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904600432633192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723698705857215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792710758902226,0.0,0.2625349563092564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267275967753257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168018486338187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773801705691008,0.0,0.1550140841092192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465779509385179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043783756390828
mentalhealth,ins_delta,2019/01/05,"I flinch too easy I'm not sure if this belongs here or not, but here we go. When I was growing up I got picked on A LOT. At least once a week I got pushed around after school, and sometimes that escalated to be more violent. I got beat up more than I'd like to admit. TO THIS DAY, as a young adult, I flinch and try to block myself when someone raises their hand to give a high five, or go to pat me on my back, or even if they say my name too loudly.

Idk why I felt the need to share this, but here we are. Does anybody go through the same thing? What would be some coping methods to help with this?",1.6636923076923082,2.638418753846153,2.823076923076921,97.97692307692309,76.84615384615384,5.815384615384616,19.923076923076927,5.6839178017228535,-0.423630769230769,458,9,116,2,10,147,87,130,0.091,0.759,0.149,0.7984,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,2,1,11,4,1,0,6,0,5,1,1,1,1,26,16,12,0,4,9,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,7,6,0,1,2,0,0,5,2,1,0,1,5,4,15,3,19,8,6,19,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,7,8,79,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786709797110146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433060079655478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943882944582907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563925921597526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256448506747334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270932935212434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925355780920026,0.3421977029283978,0.0,0.4815690051466506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452906703279233,0.2120570124547768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805486160576538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063314751409567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882102880180278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21374544442300644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960954517479972,0.0,0.20312528673516086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005762583092104,0.0,0.198503463327157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891631224523112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333402134755785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362662660972596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099432570522518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110603594012425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142575853741027,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,miserylovesyourmom,2019/01/05,"Why still? Last year when I posted here a lot it made sense. I had no purpose at all and I wasn't taking care of myself and I didn't have friends so I was sad. 

Now though? I eat a balanced diet, drink a shit ton of tea and water, exercise daily, I'm hygienic and maintain my space, I read and learn new things and practice french in my free time, watch movies and listen to new and old music. I do puzzles (fuckin love puzzles). I go to therapy and I really like my therapist. I'm not attatched in my beliefs to one religion, but I am baptized catholic and I feel connected to my church, and I pull elements of hinduism into my beliefs and am working on exploring others. I'm still in high school but I really want to be a filmmaker, so I make a point of writing scripts and making movies. I'm lacking a little in connection but I see friends outside of school on average once a week.

Basically, it's all there. Health, spirituality, education, purpose/ambition. But it doesn't help my head. I'm insecure for no reason. I cry all the time. Yesterday I cried at universal studios walking around (Not a scene, I looked at the ground) and my parents didn't even bat an eye- it's the norm. I feel a deep emptiness and I don't understand. I'm proud of myself. I love myself. I think I'm going to be a great filmmaker and show the world new things and that's what I want to do. But I feel like I'm doing none of the things that I said I am. When my to do list is over I feel gross and sad. Rn when that happens I use my thc wax pen and it helps me redirect my attention and watch a movie and then I just hit the pen more so I can drug myself to sleep basically.",0.7314320685434517,2.9460897441860467,2.9992472460220334,89.68320685434519,84.69767441860466,6.5280293757649925,23.006119951040397,7.7627490962704995,1.1929895348837207,1288,48,280,25,38,439,175,344,0.13699999999999998,0.7759999999999999,0.086,-0.9455,1,0,2,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,2,15,16,2,1,18,0,19,15,4,5,3,57,51,34,0,3,8,1,4,2,2,0,3,2,1,0,13,23,5,0,12,4,1,5,10,6,0,1,7,11,47,11,29,41,8,42,4,2,5,3,10,19,2,3,19,180,60,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988080782659434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439425538828295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464904446103554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991220663861877,0.13011510226678727,0.11480748435668996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410631474160707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269245385195991,0.0801549159993382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17336918238472104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753044006801392,0.0,0.0,0.1236996824532707,0.0,0.0,0.0992171160106696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514843995156837,0.11926218318131775,0.0,0.0,0.15040911415078576,0.11854429714067086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145707782698784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962942951731064,0.11245277269624736,0.0,0.0,0.09421881730429313,0.0,0.0,0.09538749182026038,0.2025277741119284,0.10616531126894033,0.14978727289536758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250871879782742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773387081297848,0.11948816586081658,0.07602887782110063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245835997053584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606422562318124,0.0,0.10745553078313767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222926180500384,0.0,0.14375497567553505,0.11535915506701952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067268464185464,0.0,0.0,0.2271025519861271,0.08940799621353841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517055767645773,0.0,0.0,0.11227992789260374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920437165183145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843596088651716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283092194541513,0.13027156968834291,0.22361988935056407,0.07189252420760893,0.11023484878870148,0.0,0.1308481607940209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168030109629123,0.0,0.0969038248647818,0.0,0.0,0.13235563543034706,0.0,0.08999918919650066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124205509607276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168213489235449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225241249259395
mentalhealth,throwaway123xo99,2019/01/05,"Anyone else gets into this sinking hole of doing nothing after work? I was depressed for a while, but with the help of friends and putting myself out there constantly it got better.

When I was depressed I'd spend all of the time after work pretty much doing nothing. Just refreshing reddit/youtube, locked to the screen all day, slouching, tired, declining every opportunity to go out and meet people. I also binge eat like crazy when I'm in that 'zone'. Anything sweet in my house is gone in one evening.

I went home for holidays and my schedule was packed. Meeting friends/family every day, from morning till night, always hanging out with someone and I felt fantastic. Good eating habits, I was happy and sociable. I'm usually pretty introverted and have low social skills but I was on top of my game and confidence.

The first day I came back from home I smoked some weed and went straight back to that 'zone'. Every time I smoke by myself I get there. I start thinking about things, getting paranoid, thinking noone takes me seriously, etc.

Has anyone of you had a similar issue? How did you get out of this endless cycle? ",4.638985507246376,6.9921230676328525,4.742342995169082,81.5451086956522,71.94685990338165,7.1120772946859905,28.40821256038648,7.984000788550335,2.039056038647343,893,35,153,13,18,278,133,207,0.084,0.667,0.249,0.9927,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,7,11,11,0,0,6,0,12,3,0,1,2,26,29,16,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,6,16,2,0,3,2,1,7,0,4,0,2,13,3,20,7,29,16,5,39,0,3,1,0,8,12,0,1,21,101,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934141119248166,0.09719652305372893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16335462936931197,0.11968718279077595,0.09612590902249372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964166165448253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331027648516918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360123359687284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623173018100994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22600125591663264,0.0,0.2012191423509875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390546468468873,0.0975810167952988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13027569684730736,0.07715289207382961,0.0,0.2952561727096707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011948338718452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121573555809982,0.0,0.0,0.0993597996502872,0.0,0.0,0.09024827279628933,0.0,0.24411674380226625,0.0,0.06638666565058028,0.09797594157527524,0.09342482506097563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434801062650892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829628413893136,0.0,0.2343429113782769,0.0,0.0,0.13478478409265118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192085425796048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05706819704337353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586989077673303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109619676879395,0.0,0.22416756353419345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791544934528011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098238406052055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376785738212685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742781800773222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907461074317202,0.09897400231582873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826797787814955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878277083519687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776043681242867,0.14969618123489348,0.0,0.0,0.13622744651384172,0.1342576321026996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865136090948576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165708559527129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17008032202609438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thatpinkkid,2019/01/05,Am I depressed? I always feel sad although there's nothing to be sad about. I always overthink especially if something negative or unusual happens. I always feel I am nothing and not successful though the people I am with always praise my accomplishments. I always feel alone. ,5.448125000000001,8.678989229166671,6.099833333333336,68.42850000000001,73.375,8.006666666666666,34.6,8.841846274778883,3.944495,225,12,30,5,5,73,32,48,0.28300000000000003,0.604,0.112,-0.853,0,1,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,8,5,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,8,2,3,7,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,24,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598166700986386,0.0,0.0,0.7872583574123003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16298057431497065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870359303074537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673324379539526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3631360100309186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311858833048484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567586448280154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18591415208354886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vintagebabii,2019/01/05,hearing voices hi everyone just posting here to ask if this is any thing to be worried about lol .. so anyways this only happens sometimes but when i'm stood near a family member i've managed to convince myself that i'm able tot talk to them telepathically and hear their voices and i have like full on conversations with these voices so i was just wondering if it's like a mental disorder ? thank you,4.805367965367967,6.634884883116883,5.812402597402599,76.24812770562772,70.29870129870129,8.25021645021645,29.71645021645022,8.841846274778883,2.5900839826839825,324,13,56,6,6,107,60,77,0.063,0.765,0.172,0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,2,0,8,4,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,9,13,8,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,6,4,8,10,1,5,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,3,3,39,12,1,0.22415996348931946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243646194541868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095593064917285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569067384672419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21419445127824166,0.0,0.0,0.2113180638518677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822391541395729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5052891406047528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21902647080754534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259005202111488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048375326844048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146832814857063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22169993564636184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017128762421136,0.0,0.20637637754006935,0.0,0.0,0.14892191930116128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430919183803142,0.0,0.2276453239069677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bookybooks6,2019/01/05,I'm not sure if there's something wrong with me In the past year I have noticed I've been eating less.  Recently I try to eat and just hate it.  I'm always hungry but kind of like the feeling.  I don't sleep well either only getting 4-5 hours a night. A lot of the time I just get so annoyed with people and just lose it.  I hate when it happens. And then I freak out because I lost it at someone and find it really hard to calm down. Then I just feel nothing for a few days.  I don't know whats wrong and but I don't think it's normal.  Please help. ,-0.7808899297423899,1.142435360655739,1.542997658079628,99.52114754098362,88.8360655737705,4.141451990632318,16.911007025761126,5.288315135182226,-0.8251845433255274,422,10,104,2,14,142,81,122,0.26,0.63,0.109,-0.963,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,8,13,3,0,6,0,5,3,1,0,1,25,17,12,0,2,9,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,8,2,0,5,0,0,0,4,8,1,0,2,3,11,5,11,15,4,14,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,2,11,63,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265191995518338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718220441105092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281403616688292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262571219848933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121716118945764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570886917396655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16658288661559215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097639584503316,0.0,0.14281084669351854,0.31479254613313185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685724231765464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15699861005407525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660135367052449,0.087614191626688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788556286112734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835249983407672,0.17402800421932138,0.13553492931675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149606798124665,0.15619976440436206,0.15296976044116573,0.18150306511128375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124765589322198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218638951605065,0.11052317912892624,0.0,0.0,0.17499754173806398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021298500217844,0.0,0.15741004549644935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953718669203493,0.0,0.13507778900265666,0.12273088581931905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025339920423025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215121501718102,0.0,0.0,0.09296028172048833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823710992158687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333957235712422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34860597909222457,0.0,0.1026625759130025
mentalhealth,borjamoya,2019/01/05,"Depression, Self-Identity and Reality: Living in a Fictional Story Created by Facebook For the last few weeks I've been thinking about something I noticed a couple of years ago when I traveled the world.

In  this trip, it surprised me that a lot of people were traveling  alone.  But also, my psychology training told me that the ones who used social  media all the time showed symptoms of depression. But it turned out that  it wasn't just about people who were traveling alone, but also  people  on groups.

I know, there are several  studies that link depression with the use  of social media, but I knew  there was something bigger than that.

I believe social media platforms are tweaking our perception of reality and shaping our identities without we even notice it.

[I wrote an entire article about this.](https://medium.com/privateid-blog/depression-self-identity-and-reality-living-in-a-fictional-story-created-by-social-media-38f230ab9bf7)

What do you think about this? Please let me know.",9.566785714285713,10.647333535714283,8.732238095238094,62.379428571428605,58.88095238095239,11.958095238095241,39.41904761904762,11.602472056035307,5.260507619047619,806,38,110,22,10,253,101,168,0.084,0.8740000000000001,0.042,-0.7478,1,2,2,0,0,0,42.0,3,1,0,0,11,4,0,0,9,0,9,1,0,2,1,23,19,9,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,5,0,0,7,4,0,4,2,3,0,1,8,0,14,1,18,10,3,18,0,3,0,0,12,8,0,1,6,81,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782032268146416,0.0,0.0,0.2519502273963729,0.0,0.19453974511501826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703874789068535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458460986172266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142869946946231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033745463966628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369264044413334,0.09914713566611674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437799157443677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740417448920378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340803376907363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769599715856932,0.0,0.0,0.08242167411177546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529750381819162,0.0,0.0,0.13351651708367548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537795090469919,0.1374106775873904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4959581362244412,0.0,0.1872780640280898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642326776508198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587504040913097,0.0,0.0,0.07092518511496992,0.0,0.0,0.11622555161766612,0.0,0.0,0.13230178491289946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210103731689512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975666622323772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172498792336584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832766926097376
mentalhealth,notzacsthrowaway,2019/01/05,"i feel like utter shit ive always been sorta depressed, but never like this. ive spent 90% of my time in bed doing either nothing or looking at the same shit on reddit, whereas normally id be on my computer playing games n shit. i feel super tired all the time, and when i do get up i feel sluggish and exposed. my suicidal thoughts have gotten worse and i feel super useless. i get dysphoria p bad, but ill leave that out. i havent showered in 4 days, i barely eat, and i havent cleaned my room in months. ive tried to get help but the policy is that they won't tell my parents anything unless they think im in danger and im pretty sure this counts. i really dont want my parents to know because even thinking of the support theyll give me makes me feel sick. i want to stop being like this but its a part of me and i dont want to lose it. im only 14 why am i like this

and yes, i tried posting this to r/depression. nobody saw it. it made me feel worse.",1.2031884057971034,2.7029563961352707,3.3742270531401,91.35380434782611,79.2415458937198,5.952657004830918,22.61111111111111,6.691623216298621,0.5051429951690825,742,23,167,7,18,254,118,207,0.267,0.556,0.177,-0.9715,3,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,3,2,17,4,0,5,1,17,7,3,2,3,37,41,14,1,4,7,2,6,4,0,2,3,0,4,0,11,8,1,1,10,2,1,0,6,8,0,0,6,8,30,9,18,31,4,18,0,3,2,0,9,10,3,2,11,96,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933489245698363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835087382814373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896438971847995,0.06544769033668701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924046683334878,0.0,0.18494376010009247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25165804969953404,0.0,0.0,0.10985949135034193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091246784980962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3257167577057211,0.07670038543444102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682787282612149,0.10299269057202153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196337794373933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479124647929142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059004079166890995,0.0,0.0,0.11368226595590855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098092024450512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015815826537864,0.12011210540710195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158978014726333,0.07166585742753043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569638685115086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280521994758007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519326941957773,0.10301801212375222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816546515387175,0.0,0.0,0.2384285479455808,0.11626402547151775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282439355556376,0.10922710589099448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877969931702799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306207506183438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976055249733933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117438058823826,0.12183463620745047,0.10118866929133837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384028391078042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375881752935532,0.0,0.08523449256452649,0.1252088439138528,0.12339835570860785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578530907003054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18997702371764316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687870732854127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188248140910159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TopSadBoi,2019/01/05,"How can people forget the past I've done bad things, and I've done good things, I'd like to say throughout my life I've done like ten good things to one bad, idk really I'm more guessing but that's not the point, how can people even if there completely reformed/got better just leave the past behind, all my issues now (and my depression) all come from me thinking I'm just a peice of shit for the things I've done, I just CAN'T focus on the good things, everyone just says ""don't think about it now"" and that helps about as much as a pocket full of rocks would help you swim, am I alone in this? If not how do people deal with it, I can't do much more of this",4.619095744680852,4.038237673758868,4.92488475177305,91.145625,69.42553191489361,8.184751773049646,22.5895390070922,7.1686216300943375,0.4121836879432621,516,7,123,4,8,163,82,141,0.107,0.742,0.151,0.8233,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,13,10,1,0,7,0,13,2,1,3,2,24,19,11,0,3,9,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,11,5,0,0,2,2,0,2,5,4,0,2,4,2,8,6,15,14,7,10,0,1,0,0,6,4,1,3,6,82,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495468518035935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014716662212736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670313193833586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392735510549696,0.12649687211371527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438253425557468,0.10391373165029937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938581514902963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968670206356332,0.0,0.0,0.11528409688197128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035808297983811,0.09649302832161424,0.0,0.13290710031485145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173528947930285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592490738120654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127748548764737,0.0,0.0,0.08521707491994528,0.11788479453883173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773799586412989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175403886000496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303438609244528,0.2509258799340603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405112204414708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772900390253756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188786900762236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384318324367533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4007650261271774,0.1546124153415164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570470117042747,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hmmjam,2019/01/05,"Is there a name for what I'm dealing with? Need some info/advice. Hi everyone.

I just want to hear your opinion on something I've been dealing with for a long time now. Many years, actually.

When I was in high school (around 6 years ago) I started dealing with random anxiety attacks in that I would fixate on a stressing thought for days to the point where I'd even experience a panic attack. That led me to visit a therapist during the last year of high school.

The therapist confirmed that I had some form of anxiety, probably an anxiety disorder, but he was never very clear about it. I went a few times and then stopped because I found him mediocre.

For these past 3 years or so, I don't deal with panic attacks but I have a different form of the issue I described. I basically overanalyse things, almost all day. In most cases, they are things that I might feel uncomfortable about thinking. Not necessarily taboo or offensive. Just a tad bit inappropriate. And the thing is that If I avoid the overanalysation I start feeling stressed. As if I haven't completed something important. As if I have to do it, otherwise my day won't be right. It certainly isn't tremendous stress but it is annoying.

Do you have any idea what could be causing this? Is there a name for it? Is it something specific? I can't afford to go to a therapist in the meantime so I guess just having a possibly clearer picture of what I might be having would make feel a bit better.

Thanks in advance.",3.3164651223661816,5.7268596466431125,4.50908519827248,81.4033634341055,76.20848056537102,7.867504253369979,28.85603978536841,8.735056554316923,2.531037272608297,1172,52,217,26,27,384,161,283,0.168,0.772,0.059,-0.9789,2,1,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,1,3,14,14,5,6,20,0,30,0,0,3,4,52,47,16,0,8,12,0,3,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,19,7,0,3,7,0,0,5,7,11,0,0,7,4,25,3,31,31,9,38,0,0,0,0,14,13,0,14,20,156,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.08187509683024717,0.0,0.0,0.08198690962054588,0.0743730140528801,0.0,0.08401455111368525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705543422807894,0.0,0.19255169142914785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468951721296889,0.0,0.2863478829202585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051145160726102985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420345657221245,0.1831959291797328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618925299926809,0.0,0.0,0.08796841279068808,0.0,0.0,0.06698797716553928,0.0,0.0,0.1623272625844029,0.3459922426385419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765849882380085,0.09615760778163696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055415699881926746,0.0,0.0,0.08017082836323637,0.0,0.08207110061260219,0.0,0.0,0.1272683255768467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919929178331632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768276912204368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242621155723102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456232111402478,0.0,0.0,0.17729164419973698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471381258404783,0.0,0.08757065726637908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839036584952257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424958490482925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056004448405269226,0.08506226204927725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780110211514013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221139443194509,0.06470948419099971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687906809159056,0.0,0.0,0.0800928256288723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931339341103652,0.0945855674681234,0.0,0.0,0.09045927375364994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165084128403272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16982421683178098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377284923696209,0.0,0.0,0.11877086351798832,0.0,0.0,0.0701448417923286,0.2883243152237743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724460201118237,0.0,0.29224595370184625,0.1672199288156343,0.053760257261938886,0.0,0.06660787873788257,0.09784648493109388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922696275429148,0.049486877037833686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777769000879646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920146964401172,0.0,0.0,0.21611750741596425
mentalhealth,peachycado,2019/01/05,"I’m choosing to leave school and focus on my mental health... that’s okay, right? Rewind 5 years, the education system worked perfectly for me. I was a successful student that had just finished high school with some awesome results. 

At age 21 (now) I’ve recently been diagnosed with Cyclothymia, alongside existing anxiety & depression. The combination of these new symptoms over the last 5 years has meant I’ve enrolled into numerous courses and been unable to complete them. I’ve had tonnes of somewhat helpful (but exhausting and vague/short) therapy and tried 10 different types of medication (complete with all sorts of dreadful side effects). Plus experienced numerous abysmal and traumatic events, which I think I’m doing bloody well at dealing with. 

After seeing a psychiatrist for the first time, I’m being offered more therapy suited to dealing with my existing issues, and I’m finally making the decision to put my career/education on hold. Although scary, I think this has been a long time coming. As mentioned, there’s stuff happening in my life alongside this that are draining and I don’t think I’ve given myself healing time. 

Most of me knows this is the right thing to do, but part of me feels like I’ve wasted my hard work on the current course I’m doing.  I have gained lots of practical knowledge, made some awesome friends and gained two years work experience in my field, just means I won’t have the bit of paper in 6 months time saying I finished the course. Either way, I cannot continue in this limbo of being chased for coursework & the stress of prepping for classes whilst not actually attending. Ahhhhh, thoughts? ",8.481385842472584,9.003325050847462,7.8976470588235355,69.34786640079764,61.20338983050848,11.008973080757727,38.70887337986042,10.718039707386858,4.425191425722831,1330,63,211,30,17,418,177,295,0.08199999999999999,0.81,0.109,0.9031,2,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,1,9,5,10,0,2,13,1,20,7,0,4,2,46,39,13,0,0,6,0,2,1,1,1,7,1,0,0,11,16,0,1,12,0,0,3,4,4,1,2,10,5,19,6,38,26,10,43,0,1,1,0,8,15,0,6,24,129,30,10,0.0,0.0,0.107970759532914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397614054169481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464092737118217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079255098704447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095308398929328,0.23201233858954384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22813435755460865,0.09529590530143328,0.11229943396247484,0.0,0.11559747791375224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822923467458093,0.0,0.0,0.05594398585569215,0.07904276049095284,0.0,0.1212030463615839,0.0,0.09411214010371896,0.0,0.0,0.08548183594790973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978404710385972,0.0,0.09911361704319684,0.0,0.0,0.11760741138955065,0.0,0.0,0.07416108817065632,0.11689948607189303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548163903183865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080602165375251,0.09018810397032566,0.0,0.11715404126231126,0.0,0.0,0.07814980919908918,0.05405415645478392,0.0,0.0,0.09791480422672737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406398317283267,0.0,0.10469225956331353,0.07385448159012035,0.0,0.0,0.12052171650690525,0.0,0.11146030683602312,0.11150124473712568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831349337358023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685885957078517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981464587181433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122590121271206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092457563925034,0.0,0.0,0.18897555066466298,0.0,0.0879870634180595,0.0,0.2239514869390147,0.08816745351889688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674018723528652,0.0,0.12665876909260915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499953822026646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530578387027272,0.0,0.07350571550344646,0.2126850300265668,0.0,0.08783749316493726,0.2580652653770824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511874420612509,0.0,0.1080812850527617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782257361741308,0.0,0.0,0.09948056335124576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24164636731973066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21374971445018245
mentalhealth,grykrm,2019/01/05,"Is there anyone who listens to my stupid life story? I'm 29 and going to be a single mom soon. I have depression and anxiety. I have tried to kill myself many times. Since I was 11, I have been thinking about ending my life. The reason why I started to think about it is my parents. They never understand me. Even now they don't. 
I'm married and having a son. But currently I am separated. Staying in my parents house temporarily. That's so stressful and lonely.
I don't have friends. No one talks to me friendly and shares things with me. I'm so alone.
I don't want to mention about my terrible marriage. I don't want to be judged here. But I want someone who listen to everything of my feelings like what makes me feel want to be dead. ",0.9798956002982848,3.4339801476510097,2.764507829977628,89.98607568978376,86.4496644295302,5.458762117822522,23.04287844891872,6.937597516519254,0.8952860551826993,578,22,117,8,18,191,91,149,0.244,0.695,0.061,-0.9803,3,3,0,0,1,2,19.0,0,0,2,0,10,10,2,1,3,0,17,2,0,2,1,20,34,9,2,4,2,4,2,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,6,6,0,0,6,0,0,1,6,6,0,1,2,4,23,4,15,29,1,10,0,2,0,0,16,1,0,0,8,82,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545283083444426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220831932892115,0.0,0.0,0.11170092039032864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759244832874198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414910913106481,0.0,0.0,0.1055133740463367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357300699544542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154880860421236,0.11412543806799835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468449207446035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078961133143017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843300614851044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673971559012522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22567231089550285,0.07804578492048525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663437122394202,0.16196143497160942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709727933486905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320905491292465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825074019443888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547669588370492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424961517377742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214685793028208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535566388386033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307187832041675,0.170272253759472,0.0,0.0,0.18299309511973294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840100569507665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061308073026203,0.2047227101847449,0.0,0.0,0.093151514693951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084597695777995,0.0,0.0,0.16630539284594395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3768987762243142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414953524296786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iownawall,2019/01/05,"Bpd: scared of people not believing me I've had emotional problems ever since elementary school. My best friend always used to tell me i'm too sensitive, ive had intense crushes that i got over as soon as my crush showed interest in me, im extremely impulsive and that also backfired on me multiple times. When i was 13-14 my mom saw my cuts from when i was cutting myself and i went to a psychologist. I desperately wanted her to tell me i was depressed, because i wanted to have a word and a solution for what was wrong with me. I always felt unstable. My psychologist told me i was going through a normal phase in puberty since everything was changing around me. At that time i also told my mom i thought i had bpd because ive been researching it a lot, but she didnt believe me. Since then i havent told anyone about this.
I'm 16 now and i'm so fed up with my constant mood swings and instability that i finally went to get help. I made an appointment with a psychologist and psychiatrist but thats in 3 months. Again, im desperate for a medical professional to tell me that somethings wrong with me and how i think and that we're finally going to work on how to fix me. I dont want to feel like this anymore. How i feel has never influenced my life as much as now. Im closed down, irritable, unhappy, anxious. Some parts of the day i can be happy and have hope, but i never know when that will come crashing down. I started cutting again and have suicidal thoughts. Most of the time i feel sick to my stomach because of my anxiety and because im disgusted at myself. Because i feel sick to the stomach i eat irregularly and have a hard time finishing my meals. But because i have mood swings my eating habits are irregular and im constantly either losing or gaining weight.
Im scared people wont believe me. Im so scared of people telling me that what i feel is normal or that it isnt as bad as it seems. Ive gotten so used to feeling this way im scared ill beileve them. What if im fine? What if this is just the way im going to have to live my life? Absolutely alone with no way of communicating how i really feel inside? ",2.71053306762984,4.491683843317976,4.699801967866488,82.25927824137504,75.7741935483871,8.19419603935733,27.397932494706694,8.918530864059932,2.2207269398430696,1684,68,344,38,37,578,200,434,0.191,0.7240000000000001,0.084,-0.993,1,1,1,0,0,1,36.0,0,0,1,4,22,23,4,4,13,0,31,13,2,8,3,67,69,40,1,9,11,2,10,1,1,2,6,0,0,0,21,21,5,0,13,1,0,6,9,14,0,0,24,11,62,7,48,42,7,46,0,2,1,0,14,13,0,9,25,225,83,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059118414619349274,0.0,0.09129486748633706,0.09499146873509506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0436665970330254,0.06448496986634605,0.05660873939483797,0.039912168874318414,0.0,0.0,0.0508139454894898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0476600196324313,0.20877527445600846,0.0,0.0,0.1929312848915804,0.059902697427588115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378234540181056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060383836541997714,0.049169988788742486,0.0,0.12336796702324355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03681234431199715,0.0,0.049163543275540976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689818250880851,0.0,0.0,0.11681566016195112,0.0,0.06420813077680534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163278209329488,0.0,0.0,0.05130047345153354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020321012372863,0.040778480079738895,0.054806445752148714,0.12505828442631958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044100425171516223,0.0,0.02982232196694374,0.0,0.09732087130969194,0.0,0.045652668789168786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060763491288519524,0.05113311621612053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0382600055700865,0.0,0.0,0.05669403765432845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.616569761881106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0313700726965315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063560578771069,0.02788675811076704,0.0,0.050403324378131484,0.0,0.0,0.06385872860919997,0.0,0.048527989662927984,0.0,0.054011160472995895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750282345610376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337045063307351,0.0455612886991579,0.0,0.04196089936517088,0.0,0.08804834533763774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118539787577827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061812860780640126,0.0,0.11871775906005425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054618543209658296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03656737293565722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285910470578001,0.05776873930165812,0.0,0.05196414662522967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416532923317069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04394352945315517,0.0,0.0,0.04040202969403284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062437046635755174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19956427214586075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036575022626264525,0.0,0.09063143652961296,0.1331369149823202,0.0,0.0,0.16362923155658204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859883558312596,0.0,0.0,0.10100306841221353,0.1359240636295461,0.0,0.06950894325599558,0.0,0.1058288046003084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04155544633851184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248176203367206,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shikakuuu,2019/01/05,"Panic Attacks/ Depression I’m not here for attention and I’m not here to make it seem like my mental health is a big deal In comparison to others. I’m simply looking for help. I feel alone. My mother has mental health issues herself and my step father is abusive and is not understanding of what is happening to me. For about a year I have been having repeated panic attacks. I fall into a hole that I can’t seem to get out of and everything around me is blurred and I’m trapped in my head. I have no friends I can reach out to for help either. It just feels like I’m watching my life through a screen and I can do nothing but watch it play out. I’m just sad and I don’t know how to express that other than anonymously here. I don’t want to feel this anymore I just want to have a life like everyone else but I’m trapped in this hole. When I seem to calm down, it just happens again almost immediately. I’ve been prescribed some sort of medication but I’m too poor to even get it from the pharmacy. I don’t sleep I hardly eat I always feel sick. All I can ask for is help and if no one does, it won’t make a difference anyway, I’m trapped in my mind.",1.1228005464480866,3.0974354877049213,3.076639344262297,91.11255464480877,81.41803278688525,6.361748633879781,22.461748633879786,7.492282038375204,0.8092519125683051,905,30,203,14,24,304,122,244,0.165,0.73,0.104,-0.9595,0,4,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,15,12,2,2,7,0,22,9,2,3,1,46,50,14,0,3,12,2,5,3,1,1,6,0,0,0,13,13,1,0,10,1,1,2,10,6,0,1,2,9,24,6,32,47,3,17,0,2,4,0,10,11,0,8,7,132,37,0,0.0,0.1398727688255851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182124081310162,0.12226666521215138,0.0,0.0,0.098229038960418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707624151012395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509164870667068,0.11036304144653382,0.2686032546704733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170682237416175,0.10167834379554357,0.0,0.0,0.12333961321877987,0.0,0.0,0.10330843519456696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079705878887907,0.09861761716809553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797248505730764,0.0,0.0,0.11280411020529507,0.10609786904993547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387633260478628,0.08433664542380956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120697763763304,0.0,0.1233549945227348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087866633915232,0.0,0.10575174659037996,0.0,0.12115580223900965,0.25096832377730305,0.0,0.0,0.2373840700316281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321601603354045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487850191456784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676777752761662,0.17302329264418947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913426878656408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760176360586936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892535531492016,0.2379380700598054,0.0,0.11919925305963976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327444460070883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999534939093746,0.0,0.0,0.2770180693842471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224113650224287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813763820758802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289669319962618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392607072936655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602186363033599
mentalhealth,LunaGreenleaf,2019/01/05,"Need some medication help UK based. I am almost at the end of the road with medication trials. I've been on a fair few, mirtazapine was awful for moods but the only thing that helped with sleep, it gave me good quality sleep and made me actually fall asleep for a good amount of time, lofepramine makes me more alert and keeps me awake, but is the best for my moods, can I mix mirtazapine and lofepramine together? I will not be mixing anything unless my doctor prescribes me, but would like to give him a suggestion, I can ask him but could be waiting months for a decision if he decides to contact mental health professionals, and I'd like to be able to give suggestions rather than shrugging my shoulders when he asks me what we should do. I just want to know if they can be taken together or not. Thank you I'm advance. - Shannon. ",9.456758928571432,7.195886943750002,8.664285714285715,73.65500000000003,60.8125,12.142857142857144,37.23214285714286,10.608840637214634,3.605526785714286,661,23,130,12,7,208,107,160,0.027000000000000003,0.807,0.166,0.9736,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,1,2,3,8,0,0,8,1,16,8,4,2,0,33,31,13,0,8,12,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,4,7,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,0,19,6,17,18,5,9,0,0,0,0,17,3,0,5,6,84,23,2,0.16476396540582589,0.0,0.16078586274833925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649873112484421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558670472931286,0.0,0.30806413230806184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290961656455373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315506194106661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686429002398679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593196881368473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161132181449429,0.0,0.2763923940180312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513639051602045,0.0,0.0,0.220875625872386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644978289961608,0.0,0.0,0.09054996643709297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099070189585393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590364789301148,0.1099812263215479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319647221961322,0.16604332423082865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151302524700886,0.0,0.0,0.12217039263179486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531042023976355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297659119423205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169252260880126,0.0,0.0,0.10946185740735473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607519322484816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718205568350037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704359371518885,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RichBluebird,2019/01/05,"What if my wish to die is my own desire and not a symptom? Over the years I've read countless articles, books and threads about depression and mental illness, trying to understand it, and I accepted that what I feel is just depression, and I wanted to believe what others tell me, but I can't really take over someone else's subjective experience of life. I'm not living their life and they're not living mine.

When I talk to a therapist, or someone else, of course I feel pressured to force myself to feel like I ought to want to live. They think that how I really feel is not rational, and I don't like to push my opinions down someone's throat or make them keep uncomfortable, so I just go quiet and play along. I can't flip a switch and feel different.

I'm just trying to play along so others aren't uncomfortable. But I wish I wouldn't have to. I wonder if I am stupid for disregarding my own feelings and experiences in favour of people who say that suicide is dumb or that it gets better. Saying something, doing something, even thinking something, it's all so much easier than changing how you truly feel. All that I truly feel is that I don't want this life. No matter how many therapy sessions, if someone doesn't like the color blue, you can't make that person like the color blue. You can only make them tolerate it, or pretend to like it. It doesn't matter what they really feel. I'm taking medication and I think I handle life pretty well, but I can't brainwash myself into wanting to live. I just don't. I'm here because I have to be, because it's my responsibility, because others think that I should, because I don't feel like I have a right to decide this.",6.161028852251111,6.0430624427710855,6.898833227647432,76.72390932149655,66.13855421686748,9.640076093849082,30.72669625871909,9.276330184999452,2.545997590361446,1329,44,254,22,19,441,149,332,0.114,0.6970000000000001,0.188,0.9718,1,0,3,0,0,1,36.0,0,3,5,1,16,17,2,1,7,0,26,8,1,6,2,73,60,28,2,13,18,0,10,6,0,3,7,3,0,1,25,14,0,2,18,5,0,2,17,5,1,0,0,17,42,12,28,56,5,10,0,2,4,0,14,6,1,9,8,173,67,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018375844617553,0.0,0.0,0.0932600486601794,0.0,0.07320852168915111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756588446544031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258945429489167,0.0,0.08590827432473526,0.0864831560256966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829721935810674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546726750225911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194134954894182,0.0,0.0,0.4185396208269352,0.11827018221524023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043246970537095364,0.0,0.04704342895499482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357498791823291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338681522925924,0.2426406249107456,0.0,0.292370404527036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576058846164815,0.08392173011647476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338797074763027,0.08341859804981981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084978160208435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295477174922777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05738635905001058,0.07227668836340115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421280834118534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279826058123058,0.0,0.15908500703469014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069013238060314,0.0,0.13165337291362542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805428711146895,0.1911747038674344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054335605633856,0.0,0.0,0.08603581311874953,0.12447429066200527,0.06653210098141601,0.07234975035910493,0.0,0.0946614101926263,0.0961091537082572,0.0,0.21215771564198707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123987511298435,0.0,0.0,0.08617258977594335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529338811471392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442543935300222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903763083665549,0.0,0.0897668894678634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053304940092884265
mentalhealth,srtv1,2019/01/05,"Somatic disorder?? 

Hey guys,neuro surgeon has diagonesd me for somatic disorder. It all started when I took benzos for 15 days and after a while I took Gabapentin 300 mg for 3 days. 
I am 100% sure that these medicines caused me many side effects. 
Like fatigueness, tremors, Twitching,head pressure , tinnitus , anxiety and many other . 

But doctor think that it is impossible for me to have side effects in such short duration . Doctor has again prescribed me some ssri which I refuse to take. No one believe me right now. Day by day I am getting more depressed. I have no history or panic disorder in the past. My mind cannot function as it use to do. I can see my career slipping away in front of my eyes while my friends are getting established.
Does anyone else have somatic disorder and feels that they are misdiagnosis?? 


",4.843430769230772,7.231916420000001,5.194000000000003,78.37546153846158,71.46666666666667,8.615384615384617,33.53846153846154,9.265573868473778,3.4228307692307687,653,33,111,15,13,207,103,150,0.182,0.769,0.049,-0.9613,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,4,7,0,2,2,0,13,5,1,4,2,16,23,9,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,4,0,0,3,3,4,0,1,2,3,17,3,15,21,3,23,0,2,2,0,4,8,0,2,13,73,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882183472193054,0.0,0.0,0.09032519188313777,0.1323594904321695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136823390404332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554086986158488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327027571373127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33323992731337754,0.0,0.111261968599145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5922028201107578,0.264441038381832,0.1130457031809806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791275521503976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531695121525244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998036307745801,0.0,0.134981737652357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257526195968314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311049608167146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619351325013003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304342995361068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753525794941412,0.0,0.0,0.1515641118191421,0.0,0.0,0.12331628849317945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031844294647587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293920199253873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914337954440234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217499907992465,0.0,0.09712678043072526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277289934431975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28704597998070663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156946608870424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InvictaStyxx,2019/01/05,"I want to take steps forward for my mental health I hope this is the proper place for this question. The title isn’t ideal. 
Skip to the “~~” for the basic plea/question.
Mild history, I took notice in my awful mental health roughly at age 13. Partaking In highly risky behavior, self harm, etc. 
I’m 20 now and the only thing that has changed is a major spike in anxiety ie.; I’m scared to leave my home or interact socially, which before I was sneaking around the ghetto at 2am and doing any and everything . As well as depression, separation issues, and just... plain awful choices. 
I can’t make friends and my toxic but loving relationship is recently destroyed. 
Which is why I’m posting. 
~~Since being dumped I can’t seem to find a way to stabilize myself. I need to find help or i don’t know if I can handle the process of getting better. 
I’ve had assumptions of bipolar or borderline for years. 
But I don’t know how to go about getting the help or diagnosis or anything. The way my brain works is far from proper and I need superior help. 
My parents have always refused my pleads for mental aid therefor I’m clueless. 
Sorry reddit, for this shit fuck of a post, I’m drunk and desperate. 
Psychiatry vs. therapy.? What did you guys do to get the help you needed... 
I need something. ",2.48219647822058,4.9833730321285135,4.162670682730924,82.27586886005562,79.72289156626506,6.8829780661105975,25.64118010503553,8.012643519586192,1.8699161569354343,1011,40,184,19,26,338,151,249,0.16899999999999998,0.6970000000000001,0.134,-0.7595,1,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,2,0,3,6,14,4,1,13,2,19,8,2,3,0,35,42,18,0,8,10,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,2,8,8,1,1,6,1,0,4,5,7,1,0,4,1,22,7,27,37,2,21,0,1,0,2,16,10,2,9,5,109,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098381068404447,0.0,0.0,0.07435835878489652,0.0,0.08364863604222626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998162931712726,0.09734024451012653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304455285348293,0.0,0.0,0.09670677861847972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220651976407155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567252565879403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417869990857494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194859410902195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827224753272484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987872278651256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447968619330741,0.10108770302494773,0.1713847695248807,0.0,0.06214329103273027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826875457025004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324572723087237,0.0,0.0,0.2931666306385385,0.11552901022774442,0.10968196399475508,0.1086042706264583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412778537470206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018631960836072,0.0,0.0,0.11578058113011147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868814380422787,0.0,0.07298864559372316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305821661795701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243117680385792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124490022611343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316181004692665,0.0,0.0,0.12141469738936543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424226621480715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094445943720337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249143990953505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796500935722908,0.11739562327733374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094734339121258,0.0,0.0,0.09954359358507488,0.11407069634891435,0.0,0.11224108503464716,0.0904513251130031,0.0,0.0,0.11146347112791516,0.0,0.08417913351154377,0.0,0.12240279041273455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221384200226721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504555245742682,0.0,0.07264396828034594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148633333085533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449452199791264,0.17358596426049544,0.0,0.0,0.0983142989508075,0.0,0.09866686716099472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960447212576402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041460368127886
mentalhealth,doyoufeelluckypunk88,2019/01/05,"Self confidence      I’ve had horrible self confidence issues since a young age. My father was a alcoholic and a schizophrenic. My mother has issues herself, including not protecting me from abuse, engaging in enabling of my father and emotional incest. I hit the proverbial lottery, and didn’t acquire any mental illnesses, aside from very low self confidence. Low self confidence has always dominated my life. Never feeling good enough, always being scared of the future and feeling unloveable. I’ve passed up opportunities because of my anxiety and low self confidence. 
     Now it is causing a chasm between myself and my family(fiancé). A conversation occurred before work tonight where she asked me to help more with the costs of the wedding, it was a reasonable request. I had a reaction, because of my insecurity of her making more than me, and feeling emasculated. I said something to the effect of” I feel like I’m always being bossed around”. Feeling horrible, I apologized after, and she unleashed a triad. My fiancé has told me she is sick of my “pity parties”, “sob stories” and how they relate to my insecurities (looks, money, abilities,job..etc). However, she did express that she loves me and money doesn’t matter. I’m afraid I’m going to push her away and she will leave because of how I feel, even though she has said otherwise. Expressing how I feel has led to more ridicule, because she thinks I’m more than capable and successful. She also struggles with depression, but refuses to see a therapist for it. I’m looking on advice on how to overcome my confidence issues? Should I find a safer person to speak with than my fiancé? Can anyone offer advice to me? ",5.96042929292929,8.277532925925929,6.678000841750847,69.22589015151519,68.22558922558923,9.663804713804717,33.92382154882155,10.02789654360092,4.056254882154882,1337,64,201,35,24,439,160,297,0.128,0.741,0.132,0.7377,2,0,2,0,1,0,44.0,0,0,1,6,11,19,1,5,15,0,19,7,0,10,1,41,43,19,0,1,2,3,7,1,0,2,5,3,0,6,4,16,1,2,11,0,3,4,4,13,0,0,9,13,40,6,35,29,5,21,0,6,3,2,37,10,1,0,8,142,44,3,0.0,0.11563280393502548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19073524447344944,0.0,0.10429819087906964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804580056844791,0.24361780991837345,0.0,0.0,0.06636719353368765,0.0,0.0746590606323474,0.0,0.0,0.0682399188034409,0.0,0.0,0.08687925542719513,0.09123711527562056,0.0,0.0916926745934218,0.0,0.0,0.23796932412445695,0.0,0.08304521438330617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025581106718348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405747660010275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097799932779207,0.0,0.10084057943910564,0.10884298791218734,0.06445984556294237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34542483089642434,0.06972109629851919,0.0,0.0,0.08919904967787706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055464858156971567,0.0818571267138324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541512894835097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055880042260628,0.09684687931650952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333784070642632,0.0,0.0,0.06893345246342009,0.0476794462150721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390858009156778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808229829658289,0.0,0.06514468106932282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835168930634322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527042636467511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521522255460606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034277572457168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18566828107826047,0.0,0.0977085117795682,0.0,0.0777696967945574,0.0,0.5090585715461371,0.0,0.0,0.08073067637921688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513254644874601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020263263414808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331403123515467,0.0,0.06253422564205181,0.0958855038649559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325514657323312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052518216752766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104951607391745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Geriatricfuck22,2019/01/05,"How do go to my parents and tell them I'm starting have symptoms of schizophrenia. I'm having nihilistic delusions, auditory hallucinations and violent dangerous thoughts. I'm 22 and this is so fucking terrifying I don't know what to do. I really want to kill myself before I cause someone harm. My parents are not ready to hear this and I don't have the money for medications or a psychiatrist. Please help me ",3.7517207792207783,6.553639415584418,5.480633116883119,72.91237824675326,76.92207792207795,8.525324675324676,31.70292207792208,9.188382445141503,3.481312987012988,333,17,56,9,8,113,55,77,0.253,0.6709999999999999,0.076,-0.9535,2,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,1,0,2,5,4,0,2,0,9,3,0,2,0,11,19,7,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,5,0,0,1,1,9,0,6,18,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,1,1,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20165520148502872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24344696959277054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190870985564795,0.0,0.0,0.13468298239749035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670972274590115,0.0,0.15884480648532806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621867376088405,0.0,0.13023973866870386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387355863687119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5262834741943687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601363281503876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518174707790081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20079504944371934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677378895464864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463162265427509,0.0,0.0,0.20713371390083496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881381455977806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977879875084864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thetruth5295,2019/01/05,"Im a guy but feel like a pussy for getting treatment feel like i really should just die Cuz shouldnt I be able to just go to the gym and work it off right, to boost my confidence? Im a guy the fact i was verbally degraded growing up shouldnt matter i should be able to forget it. Compared to others i know who are doing just fine in life who got way worse abuse i should be doing way better now, im just a fucking wimp.... Been trying to for years, tried to just fucking work out every day but it doesnt work. Im just a skinny 20 yr old guy who is an emotionless person who sucks who probably has a personality disorder, go to therapy and a group which is basically all fucking girls. Makes me feel like a fucking pussy, talking about my feelings, shouldnt i just be able to get ripped going to the gym? Oh wait no i go to therapy and talk about my feelings like a pussy and feel like a pussy like ive always been told i am and its never gonna end. So why dont i just kill myself? Like really ? Like im pretty sure even my psychiatrists even thinks of me as like a pussy like just man the fuck up, i should. I should just fucking kill myself, already took a bunch of sleep meds shoould just take  a bath and cross my fingers i dont wake up .",1.6051479583402184,3.2307871673003845,3.361580426516781,91.32831542403706,78.46768060836501,6.5510993552653325,21.32071416763101,7.423996415210882,0.540203636964788,967,26,220,13,23,323,129,263,0.124,0.6509999999999999,0.225,0.9837,0,0,0,0,1,2,22.0,0,0,0,4,17,24,9,0,18,0,26,11,4,2,4,45,54,11,3,8,13,0,7,10,0,9,1,0,1,7,11,7,1,1,8,3,0,7,8,11,0,0,6,7,23,13,24,35,2,22,0,0,0,6,16,7,7,0,16,129,34,3,0.2193535482903328,0.0866326952554626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068736503663289,0.0,0.06083990807464635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466679596192462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715496399365986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588478388878557,0.0,0.08379939008030621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713871499575251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647607120675754,0.0,0.0,0.09658729991545352,0.0,0.06160494169185581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218234897045404,0.2611770312125419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055776415568513,0.07640211699857752,0.0,0.16621823533053354,0.0,0.058479023631922075,0.0,0.0,0.2171944995231644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3948991223523852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178813416750992,0.0,0.04018365784983017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05164529940419001,0.3572168790631905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488067322640048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121744747761821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639299305293804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672488323073917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768737167089408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438713921178818,0.07883340842752266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368233326893488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06244224390417288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317065426652218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891270777367521,0.0,0.054975523142806765,0.11753871543402515,0.0,0.0,0.1672332662141917,0.0,0.0,0.04685096554545482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986723852707052,0.08123662107143699,0.0992844403627107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607509104374572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597748635671254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969199564351358,0.0,0.07451333520191772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047085497770131685
mentalhealth,Bazerous,2019/01/05,"I thought about killing myself today. Here are three reasons why I won't. Today I thought about killing myself. For the past few days, to be honest, I've thought about taking a razor and slitting my wrist or maybe walking to the bridge by my apartment and jumping off of it because it would be fast. I recently flunked out of my second degree and I'm ashamed of it. I had a lot of people in my life building me up to be successful and now I'm struggling with money, wanting to drink to numb my emotions, and hiding in my apartment because I'm too afraid that the people I love will get a hint of how far I've fallen off the horse. I have the means to commit suicide so that makes me high risk.

I'm not going to kill myself today.

Instead, I'm going to give you the reasons why I'm going to stay in this life.

Reason 1: 
I go to sleep next to a man who loves me every single night. He is my asshole boyfriend who doesn't do his dishes, pisses me off when he tells me my breath is bad, and he spends too much money on his car. We've been together for two years and every night he falls asleep holding me while I quietly wait for it to be safe to pull myself off of his sweaty body and roll over to my side of the bed. Our relationship is a beautiful mess. The first reason I am choosing to stay alive is that I am sleeping next to the man that I am going to marry. I think he knows it too. I am choosing to stay because I have the capacity to love when it isn't easy. I have the capacity to love myself today.

Reason 2:
One piece at a time, I can pick up the pieces of my life. I work a kitchen job on weekends. I get up, drive 20 minutes, chop some vegetables, wash some dishes, and go home with aching feet. But I also smile while I'm there. I don't feel like a cog in a machine. I feel like I'm part of a team. While I'm there, I'm doing things that make it possible for a group of people to do something that is greater than myself. I am capable of taking small steps forward because I know that small steps are part of a larger journey. The second reason I will live is because I have the capacity to build joy from small pieces of smiles.

Reason 3:
I have things to look forward to. I'm going to be a researcher and I'm going to be damn good at it. In my short time in this life so far, I have had the opportunity to experience the best feeling in the entire world: the feeling of discovery. After months of collecting data, reading papers, and running statistics, I have had lived the thrill of learning something that nobody else in the entire world knew. Of all the tears I have cried, nothing has ever been more powerful than those tears of happiness that seeped out of me in that moment. With a joy like that burning a fire in my heart, I have the capacity to change the world. The third reason I will stay in this life is that this world will be better because I did.",4.406218946218941,4.588785202020206,5.331687141687142,85.43104422604424,69.87542087542087,7.768422968422967,27.838565838565835,7.329194593529364,1.3577900263900269,2246,70,478,20,37,738,253,594,0.102,0.767,0.132,0.9709,2,0,3,0,0,5,56.0,1,1,0,8,18,31,5,4,39,0,50,25,9,12,3,57,96,22,4,2,3,0,5,3,0,6,7,1,3,2,29,16,5,3,23,4,3,21,5,13,0,7,10,7,63,18,87,73,15,91,0,1,1,4,23,41,2,4,32,322,92,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04917633048707358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051344504702098726,0.22491520447662994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453363539209046,0.05438600436767574,0.0,0.0683054168301453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505197025037822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754772327346091,0.03965822087778679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060240220103761115,0.0,0.0,0.05136992936412496,0.06917191176185157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562439217225262,0.1036218534747384,0.0,0.0,0.06015244359989056,0.0,0.0,0.1243718469988572,0.08786193872122765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05230634048808932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425563238405793,0.05899016945298133,0.2795853896332334,0.051577831051541165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546097522075592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728700946970389,0.0,0.06497125997369031,0.06168299531935933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102281108300656,0.0,0.20410034331961724,0.0,0.06759043984850638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171733914743504,0.090127855212018,0.0,0.10859977589154676,0.0,0.051639053258097686,0.0,0.0,0.052279575473278016,0.22200114187027287,0.0,0.08209477876853649,0.0,0.061778486985475264,0.06698444996438932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049083525770428925,0.0,0.04520479872595893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307980717627345,0.11541496990189215,0.0,0.05900467264363603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04166958770324456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133182938046551,0.058702504784696775,0.12789555239993566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932468274485762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061510141957614166,0.0,0.0,0.505804485579637,0.060717413549916034,0.06602100671241921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307582162777465,0.0,0.0,0.09468140265301188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26217556013807025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642863588560465,0.0,0.06726390923249291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247091949693564,0.0,0.053748030259893054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170709918415646,0.03940255240549104,0.0,0.1464569125739349,0.07171470983491847,0.0,0.2331545945902541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007021506608575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03627046009781332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109766397975608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044768001070516726,0.0,0.0,0.04368321873512485,0.0,0.0,0.03959979846362492
mentalhealth,HibanaSnipes,2019/01/05,"Weird feelings Idk why but suddenly I've become so different and I've also come to many realizations. I hang out and am cool with a very big number of people but not 1 of them I am truly friends with do I feel comfortable talking to about my emotions not even the ones I spend the most time with, I've also realized just how different I am and how people dont really like me and that I have a knack for unintentionally doing and saying the wrong thing. I've lost interest in everything, I no longer play hockey, I force myself to play video games alone whereas I'd play with friends and have fun even when alone and I've cut off most people. Even at school, rarely am I with a person, instead I am doing work alone and when I dont have work to do I find something to do. I barely have conversations with anyone, all I do is send memes lol.I'm cool with my parents too, ill joke around with them but I dont feel one bit comfortable talking to them about my feelings. I've realized I put up this tough image of myself of how I'm some big tough guy but I'm really just lonely. 

Idk what I'm feeling and I have no one to talk to so why not do it anonymously behind a screen? If anyone has anything helpful to say please do.",1.7872364953886652,3.796356648221341,3.492791501976285,88.79686841238474,79.35573122529644,6.588208168642953,21.213603425559945,7.6454224807358475,0.7693453227931495,964,27,205,15,24,321,127,253,0.146,0.65,0.204,0.9703,3,5,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,3,19,20,1,0,7,2,23,1,0,3,1,45,33,23,0,1,10,1,5,1,2,0,1,2,0,2,5,20,0,0,8,7,1,4,8,7,0,3,1,10,26,13,31,32,5,16,0,2,1,0,17,8,0,4,5,134,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324907477744015,0.0,0.17115196651750814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964797866300186,0.0,0.08806024070391108,0.0952617264967409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818431017202105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682737519292588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217977424740284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22360567457565086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762453183212063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037202256203736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21203759681797565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617382834608093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27053775137391034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780534412272716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653515624740419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595687875985303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717266520297115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05227975703201655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681422645137934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849150248791993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175385538757944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882211467207725,0.0,0.0,0.2225621054406028,0.09343714082769124,0.0,0.1174650169708453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757476339366744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137106892438471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17019754258137818,0.0,0.10829999108324186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238164629301996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580321302647273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109279284007053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062398482638436885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829458588272011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19312004322740586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558093364101436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699880707895514,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sbrideau1,2019/01/05,emotional health Unfortunately today one of my moms students at her school committed suicide and passed away. His name is Edward and he was 12 years old. She was able to visit him while he was still on life support at the nearby Children’s hospital. Please be aware of those struggling with mental disorders no matter the age. I think sometimes we believe kids will grow out of these stages but we should try to get them the right help way before it’s too late. They may never grow out of it. #mentalhealth #suicideprevention ,4.172499999999999,7.086529583333334,4.010250000000003,83.40975000000002,76.08333333333334,6.756666666666668,24.18333333333333,7.908726449838941,1.5118908333333332,424,14,74,7,10,129,80,96,0.078,0.815,0.107,0.25,0,0,0,0,0,2,8.0,2,0,2,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,8,2,0,0,2,15,11,4,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,3,0,10,1,13,4,0,21,0,0,0,0,16,7,0,1,8,47,14,2,0.19769186798711175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573801759223998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822121896294276,0.22273103741555225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265720079334566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22237674288752032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328584159231707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21013721118178516,0.0,0.0,0.13250869194603174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22300503794113005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963561280241152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19922690530742412,0.0,0.0,0.23153432647468875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247215590873847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074443601008253,0.0,0.13396112605382404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170063052960781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882777509097827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20007472466807405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955223124072289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787698114350388,0.0,0.0,0.20667046392651636,0.0,0.2162428168893389,0.2243383890371479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266729665583755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873887753483897,0.0,0.0,0.13421980152821827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569186030091459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273070814012069
mentalhealth,syd-knee-bee,2019/01/05,"Anxiety to the max So tomorrow I agreed to babysit...I love babysitting these kids but the mom orders pizza 9 times out of 10. I really want to resist the pizza but I know if it is in front of me I will lose control. I don’t know what to do to keep myself from eating it. I thought about bringing a pack of mints and eating one of those any time I feel like picking up a slice. 
As you can tell this is absolutely taking over my mind right now and causing me much anxiety- to a point to where I cannot sleep. Sorry for the vent. ",1.4119642857142836,3.0819291249999985,3.2119285714285724,91.98307142857144,79.17857142857143,6.265714285714287,21.021428571428565,7.1686216300943375,0.4200507142857135,410,11,93,5,10,137,80,112,0.065,0.8340000000000001,0.101,0.4237,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,4,3,0,0,7,0,7,6,1,3,0,16,16,7,0,2,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,3,4,2,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,1,2,13,2,19,14,1,14,0,1,0,1,5,7,0,1,5,62,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340898543079358,0.0,0.3016858791196967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255922216597605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22115527905945265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035308167505293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970064765666,0.1408661591229189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526354929756938,0.0,0.0,0.2167310622429376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633268571492112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205951229192664,0.0,0.0,0.17796356779350275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19909661884763427,0.23093602590640314,0.0,0.0,0.14495073664728889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336149613228033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639979716287872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263192096563887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839151254918894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732342042451853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22072800693204828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825558654501714,0.0,0.17234490140619482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565397034753941,0.2299556753263145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116302473584404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stingwing4oba,2019/01/05,"Getting A home nurse Because I guess CMH felt I needed one for some reason. Figured, why not right now. Though with the shutdown messing with everything (we all know people not effected will take advantage of it to some degree) I don't know how long it will go before being interrupted. I love in A BID housing location. Without assistance, rent is going to be more than I can afford. (Going to go from $195 - $950 for A small apartment about the size of A large storage locker)",3.620760869565217,5.720995858695655,4.799347826086958,81.1364130434783,74.1086956521739,7.208695652173913,27.80434782608696,8.07648339933343,2.0430173913043483,377,15,67,6,8,124,71,92,0.026,0.902,0.073,0.6124,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,6,0,7,1,0,3,1,18,19,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,6,0,1,4,4,1,0,1,1,1,6,2,14,14,4,10,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,3,2,45,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247830385073792,0.0,0.18492617373939288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531622393429587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20866450758359464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354248652381844,0.0,0.4940394975019178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239406183588396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179930507239002,0.0,0.0,0.2507619804047797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388704716115141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19232433587392933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614281833238653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114251861813048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726393390605125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066465507677287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22344461044422595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855929630101358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340012137878904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21351909894502616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19610053097538965,0.0,0.0,0.2094919649720036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jay_Jay416,2019/01/05,"Is there something wrong with me? Back in high school I was struggling with anxiety. I couldn't be in class because of the fear of speaking or being looked at, so I would skip a few every day and hide in the bathroom (one day I skipped a whole day of classes). I couldn't focus if I was put in the front of the classroom. I'd be doing something else like fake writing on my paper and not listening. My anxiety started since freshman year and has gotten worse. So this led to depression and I barely had the motivation to do *anything*. Now I'm at a community college that I don't even want to be in.

But let me share one event that I still think about. 

One morning on a Friday my mom was yelling at me on the ride to school about how depression shouldn't keep you from doing your work and blah blah blah. I was so furious and angry at school that I started crying as soon as I entered class first period. I put my head down and blocked everyone out. So much that my dad had to come. He yelled my name and I still was there like a little child having a tantrum. He grabbed my arm and then i yelled GET OFF OF ME and I went to the floor crying like a baby. Then all of a sudden I ran out the room and left the school without my belongings. I just ran outside and stood behind a tree. Thinking about my life and what I just did. Then I decided to run away. I took the bus all the way to its last stop and walked afterwards. I was just thinking and thinking how it's so much peaceful just walking by myself no parents after me. Then I walked myself to the hospital hoping to just stay there for the rest of my life but I was 17 at the time so I had to return back to my parents.

And this was not the only time I ran away.

I still struggle with over focusing on minute things and having low self esteem and avoiding social interactions and over thinking everything",2.5914210526315813,4.2831687605263165,3.6670394736842127,89.92240131578949,75.8684210526316,6.5394736842105265,24.769736842105264,7.292943589461545,0.9895789473684218,1459,49,309,17,32,471,188,380,0.131,0.835,0.034,-0.9754,2,1,2,0,1,0,28.0,0,2,0,3,27,16,2,4,24,0,29,4,2,4,2,61,51,37,0,7,12,4,1,6,0,2,2,5,1,2,10,25,0,4,7,0,0,16,8,11,0,4,19,7,47,5,55,23,7,74,0,3,1,0,17,28,0,3,31,230,57,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341166702144414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713464362503566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17613132559827646,0.1441504761082183,0.0,0.057139041771355266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807430683719885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059235892387133,0.18135096470048134,0.0,0.16146496811953992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830227075733227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191006041215276,0.0,0.0789744752191737,0.08956632935856954,0.0842415818561444,0.0,0.0,0.10547619190714763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972962559850989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048971859479856016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619756290167056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903453738166502,0.0,0.09309846659260557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331459810516023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640527306114676,0.0,0.0,0.10184166885064386,0.09584880435723496,0.13241341703995835,0.13738028860358134,0.0939455426357878,0.0,0.0,0.07871249152800434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977948502987256,0.0,0.0,0.13780974329478876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905486368625128,0.07128851333170537,0.0,0.0,0.20815980961988748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18845601536152826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794530267019533,0.0,0.0,0.09778443197469848,0.0,0.0,0.07753727934192597,0.0,0.0,0.09554944923657528,0.0,0.14432118007539374,0.0,0.0,0.13269003822507613,0.0999073872107714,0.2245669653207916,0.07836536220271177,0.0,0.19598110955023407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06227233989134184,0.3003030532819275,0.0,0.0,0.10931345820963756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414131304248524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528641799253471,0.07440125052832819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689184821946598,0.0,0.10465005070792484,0.0,0.09035570194788488,0.0,0.06823906874079179,0.0,0.09552239451563,0.06658555429780827,0.102482814224112,0.0,0.060361269318778
mentalhealth,Taylor_rules,2019/01/05,"Trouble answering hard questions Recently I have hit a crossroads in my life. Recently graduated from college and struggling to even want to find a job. Hard questions need to be answered about who I am and what I want out of life. I want things for my life and I cant seem to get the oomph to even try.  If its my fault I will take the blame but I need help to get over this.  Something is just draining my soul. I have so many doubts. I am high right now and I've written so many things down for myself to read when I am sober but I never do.  If I post on Reddit I will have to look at it because I spend a great deal of time here. I cant answer hard questions and cant take hard truths. When I am sober though its like I have a mental block and this ability to ask for help isn't there. I don't want to be a pot smoking loser but its quickly becoming a reality.  How do I stop, how do I reach goals that I want. Thoughts and suggestions please. ",1.3764676616915423,3.0505365223880614,2.7958457711442826,94.90680348258707,79.29850746268656,6.0587064676616915,22.609452736318413,6.937597516519254,0.4318676616915425,735,23,173,8,18,239,107,201,0.15,0.705,0.145,0.0089,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,15,8,0,2,8,0,21,3,0,2,2,37,38,19,0,9,6,0,4,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,11,8,0,2,9,1,1,0,6,5,0,0,2,5,26,3,23,31,0,18,1,1,1,0,9,8,0,7,10,116,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731515305219144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699762217464765,0.12677889745019508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183456535755816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516382487852772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491793432282316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994830826923793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655873718665284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113248320138469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388550051838265,0.12128419612128083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391348405834001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24324324522471835,0.05608164015879874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639648462117782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23276242080041876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156834755128662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023383131947015,0.08853477338939104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260072958826456,0.0,0.0,0.10993913654364297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857803972841026,0.0,0.11482320219210865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266867749200788,0.0,0.0,0.09803185847559848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045024509704484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837259592207354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597136726029212,0.0,0.1200056664835666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261880314962424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252559125319526,0.0,0.1127826925661668,0.0911321350144016,0.06693621869054979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793632641872288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33853688520844755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lithiumok,2019/01/05,"How do you care about yourself and find what you want in life? I think about other people more than myself. I don't want to exercise to look better but then I envy people that do. I'm not motivated. I don't know what I want. I'm not depressed (for the first time in my life). In my early 20s I was extremely motivated and successful. Mental illness brought me to my knees for 3 years, no working and just trying to exist. Now that I'm no longer depressed I feel emotionally stable but lost

 When I was depressed I would sleep all day and do nothing. When I was less depressed I would sleep all day and play video games a tiny bit. Now I stay awake like a normal person (I think) and play video games or just browse the Internet or talk to people online. I'm spiritless.",1.7371693548387093,4.019542277419358,3.1855443548387115,89.47831653225809,81.06451612903227,5.939516129032258,20.655241935483872,7.1686216300943375,0.5499758064516125,603,17,124,8,16,197,85,155,0.13699999999999998,0.636,0.226,0.9289,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,7,9,11,0,0,4,0,10,7,3,3,2,30,25,14,0,6,8,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,7,7,0,1,6,5,0,1,5,2,20,6,13,18,5,16,0,5,1,0,6,3,0,2,12,79,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988000925523496,0.16032601496286092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972695637831734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18941674993555802,0.0,0.5059389048218924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519045008519212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425355487644081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422146170256175,0.12491353365054796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070685698605018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074539758721005,0.07174521463251496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331997529642988,0.0,0.16030797051625373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799381324448865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388527489646516,0.14090991824382607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054292317028497,0.128226833939298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29391916243826394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565263185498297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180353009712132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18819561872968552,0.0,0.0,0.08563147160183411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970390400045656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598540423018548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691111547868927,0.0,0.0,0.20864106196367516,0.0,0.0,0.09456885554949704
mentalhealth,johndoe777786,2019/01/06,"Goodbye Goodbye to the past. It was better then. Goodbye to hope which seemed like it mattered then. 
Goodbye to love which seems so trivial now 
Goodbye to happiness which was once true
Goodbye to friends who once believed in me 
Goodbye to confidence
Goodbye to meaning 
Goodbye 
Goodbye 
Goodbye


Hello to the future 
Hello time 
Hello open eyes 
Hello concept of death 
Hello sadness 
Hello thoughts of death 
Hello people that aren’t there 
Hello stress 
Hello edginess 
Hello “no one cares”
Hello yelling 
Hello numbness 
Hello goodbye ",4.160351123595508,7.354469044943826,3.6827457865168536,78.56659058988765,94.50561797752808,3.1238764044943816,33.652387640449426,5.148860815047168,2.259319662921348,431,25,51,2,16,129,50,89,0.161,0.602,0.237,0.8753,1,1,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,11,0,1,2,0,3,3,1,0,1,8,10,3,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,2,1,8,11,7,0,8,0,1,1,1,16,2,0,3,7,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517227154627561,0.0,0.19760066758871173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277959996002151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261708670226042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23783935876557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22191077694188055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091538442980897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164918506632787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24337459949333756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4758792491856012,0.15139811140826026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132838083887602,0.1548943018808155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067942460205468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25593182043944085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773739649508773,0.13028052624999498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yeedledeedle,2019/01/06,"Don’t feel worth it Hi,

I don’t really know where to turn to right now. Long story short, I was emotionally abused in my last relationship and it is still fucking with me constantly. I just don’t feel like I am worth it constantly. No matter what amount of good comes into my life, I still end up feeling so small. I’m currently reaching out to find a new therapist. If anyone has any other bits of advice, I’m really open to anything. I just don’t really know what to do anymore and I hate feeling shitty constantly.

Anyway, if you read this, thank you and I hope you’re having a good day.",2.2365454545454533,4.222452533333335,4.10287878787879,85.07727272727277,77.83333333333334,7.696969696969697,21.74242424242424,8.575989854853784,1.3778333333333332,464,13,95,10,11,157,77,120,0.103,0.706,0.191,0.7162,1,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,8,7,2,0,2,0,10,2,0,0,0,21,24,6,0,3,4,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,7,1,2,1,5,2,0,0,1,4,13,5,12,23,2,22,0,0,0,1,4,9,1,3,13,58,20,1,0.0,0.17141150983697873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137085291423976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838125912474324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434747842041595,0.10115734562506404,0.0,0.11905192818904695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157943291669487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246212794385078,0.0,0.4690139535587266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330084387455252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627354328295578,0.1281355890046719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29260007187386705,0.10335301036835426,0.0,0.0,0.1322266974508371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374603296976614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426863866212068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428326875134419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369097254370236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901482558059124,0.11792619573065365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218542457614267,0.07067895602106873,0.0,0.0,0.12802930608197358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972417907183265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471017671656067,0.0,0.27803989261779205,0.0,0.0,0.15532254103628795,0.0,0.12354826631748199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310689375750711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319364420347993,0.0,0.1679742124963646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736053369906186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iks_worbad,2019/01/06,"Having anxiety attacks and don't know how to handle them Hey so ever since this semester passed, I noticed I have been dealing with anxiety nearly on a daily basis. They come and go but it just comes out of no where. I have no idea what triggers them. Ex. Today, for my birthday, my parents, sister and friend got brunch with me and while everyone was talking and having a good time and enjoy their meals, i froze and just felt it stew inside me and of course, its followed by tears. My hands start to shake and at times, i can feel extremely heated and just overwhelmed and flustered. This has been occurring a lot over the semester. I do get stressed out a lot because of the workload that I have which is normal and my major doesn't really allow me to sleep, again, normal but that's a stigma we are trying to change. Anyways, I dont know what to do about this anymore but its eating me up. Ive tried meditation and i take part in yoga on a weekly basis and im really a quiet, odd ball who has a small friend group of super close friends. Pls someone i need advice if anyone has been in this situation. ",3.307020202020201,5.030556590909093,4.463030303030305,84.83398989898991,74.0,6.8888888888888875,24.040404040404038,7.594959193182576,1.171782828282828,870,26,168,11,18,285,139,220,0.112,0.763,0.125,0.8425,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,4,1,10,10,1,3,10,0,21,5,2,3,1,43,34,21,0,4,7,3,4,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,14,22,3,0,5,2,0,6,5,4,0,0,6,5,24,6,24,28,4,27,0,1,0,0,16,13,0,3,8,125,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559537620114806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230315228241226,0.0,0.13761335479346148,0.09702472647498972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786035880067945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458725108216786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679044986121087,0.2390601587214557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143056216292287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262653828786527,0.0,0.0,0.1419868650949405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551702152593766,0.0,0.1325918208477819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016159272641627,0.0,0.13323205824552928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216185797748269,0.0,0.07249675257697223,0.0,0.0788609187410539,0.11638591412036807,0.11097962919706264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664397046087233,0.14988539632522155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525185330051042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23593881546519305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288932063715267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271912101000763,0.0,0.1579800070783885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407736580525486,0.1502643449110393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778734942535354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147843070622099,0.15597287068748888,0.13886093806416375,0.0,0.11757151346005625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821555657478392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894994364201434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433079751305516,0.11153061598010844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182499127722705,0.0,0.1315289440711162,0.0,0.0,0.18841884990837626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130548506224576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Melynda1957,2019/01/06,"I have Antisocial Personality Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, but I have chosen NOT to seek any help, because I can. That's why I refrain. Just like people with my conditions choose to seek help because they can, I choose NOT to for that very same reason.",8.569333333333333,9.4712738,8.846,61.326333333333366,61.0,13.06666666666667,40.66666666666667,12.45797560212912,5.8314666666666675,230,12,35,8,3,76,34,50,0.105,0.6990000000000001,0.196,0.7783,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,11,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535984203366751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753748526035635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7765950881858871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302789976119345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034800827377417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658887522850018,0.19721978399435897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322305799426064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636528259970853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20381131567653168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mathredditc,2019/01/06,"Sick of feeling this way Hey everyone. I haven't been diagnosed. 
But for the past year i have been obsessed with passing out. It occupies my thoughts probably 80% of the time I'm awake. My thoughts are usually ""it would be awful if i passed out right now"" or ""imagine if i passed out here and how bad it would be"" 
Sometimes it gets so bad that it can trigger a panic attack. I spend alot of time avoiding situations because i don't want to feel this way. 

I recheck my work bag so many times before i set off to work, once in my apartment and once again when I'm sitting in my car. And then again when im in my work parking lot.

I've also noticed other things I've done in the past that i think are strange..such as spending over 3 years praying everynight to a god i don't believe in. ive stopped doing this now but looking back it seems so odd to me. 

The way Im thinking is really depressing me, I avoid the things i used to enjoy for fears of having obsessions with passing out. 
Im really sick of feeling this way. Has anyone else felt like this before? ",3.27185779816514,4.360297596330277,4.338428899082569,88.22580848623853,73.03669724770644,7.2848623853211025,28.762614678899087,7.6454224807358475,1.5990633027522931,828,33,177,10,16,270,123,218,0.181,0.757,0.062,-0.9738,0,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,13,12,1,6,8,1,19,3,0,3,0,35,34,17,0,5,5,0,4,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,16,9,0,3,10,0,2,5,3,10,0,0,6,5,21,2,26,24,2,41,1,1,1,0,1,13,0,6,18,112,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844243425363779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733029180671681,0.11331720204647347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581728446218587,0.0,0.08504039444745816,0.18468368568470608,0.06741742076436766,0.0,0.1882156595147827,0.1246022034557208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525493740321472,0.1122511562136458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317663834984598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238756847859722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567784697631613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444963356022168,0.16775980627648654,0.0,0.1061881266399866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778109596899233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583833273175742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540309184659855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928715812559439,0.0,0.0,0.09402354488037436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212553114176088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259126460938602,0.0,0.2355592061621196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297588939480364,0.0,0.0,0.21115005404110454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192396471945473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169942147839254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444715485078543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068113899472103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431292560565912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938085339783643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246200904301556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694823050186173,0.1417290642075941,0.0,0.17559946330570314,0.19346574195671334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551819585970614,0.12180428946362926,0.0,0.06523154027105088,0.3511392740770816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415424830683567,0.0,0.0,0.15712641275599445,0.0,0.0,0.1424385486833778
mentalhealth,roseybourke,2019/01/06,"OCD or Anxiety? Hey all, and thanks for your time.

When I confided in a family member, they suggested I might have OCD. This is what I told them:

- I'm afraid that even the small decisions I make will have negative consequences for either me or the people around me
- I'm afraid to leave the house, because if I leave, it could get robbed, or maybe it'll be on fire when I get home.
- I'm afraid to use the car because I'm afraid I'll do irreparable damage to it or kill someone else if I make a bad decision driving.
- I'm afraid if I take a job in the city over, that something terrible will happen. Maybe we'll/I'll crash, maybe I'll/we'll get mugged, maybe I'll/we'll be killed, maybe the house will be robbed or destroyed while I'm away from it.
- I'm afraid if I drive other peoples cars I'll crash them  accidentally by making a driving error.
- if I have passengers I'm afraid we'll crash and theyll be hurt because of me
- after I give even small advice I agonize about it and am afraid it's bad advice thatll do them harm, or even lead them to death.


What do you think? Also I've never been in an accident before. ",4.179490538573507,4.70216793886463,4.895004366812227,87.1594206695779,70.48471615720524,8.55208151382824,24.873653566229983,8.648137234880735,1.3649229112081516,874,22,192,14,15,282,115,229,0.277,0.711,0.012,-0.9959,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,1,2,6,1,8,18,3,8,11,0,22,0,0,5,2,28,43,18,3,6,12,0,1,0,0,8,0,0,1,0,13,4,0,0,3,0,0,6,2,17,0,0,2,1,24,1,18,28,2,21,0,2,0,0,13,9,0,12,6,109,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21885188516970347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955067864429828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566469301200841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968628967798646,0.0,0.0,0.10520926400582406,0.0,0.1869978989968319,0.2047866219257417,0.0,0.09528706544132516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940723070448199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354524810825933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188597746802294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556514712914736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17551539825313306,0.1074217953136054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099023890403703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232546302155806,0.0,0.0,0.2584206740869432,0.1198773251599292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112325972964716,0.0,0.2477794238918843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23714213186348004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424334265267354,0.0,0.5624967723670916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187934992923714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863661813154284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552662076729807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488062234813366,0.0862079762620759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419531829433215,0.0,0.0,0.10309649947516937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717525133185111,0.0,0.0,0.06529666682006688,0.0,0.0,0.10700206291538346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967151043986994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,__Ray_Ray__,2019/01/06,"I have a weird trigger reaction with certain lullaby's and nursery rhymes i actually found this out a long time ago but i thought it would be a little funny to share. Whenever i hear the song baby beluga i often burst out crying. It's weird, i don't think i have any emotional attachment to that song, nor do i think i ever heard it when i was a kid. It's not life threatening or anything, i'm mostly curious.
What do you think it could be? ",2.2176098901098875,4.019086736263739,4.5363598901098925,82.79926510989013,77.24175824175825,8.506043956043957,25.660714285714285,9.188382445141503,2.242174725274725,347,13,71,9,8,121,62,91,0.086,0.703,0.212,0.8787,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,1,2,19,18,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,8,4,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,4,11,2,5,10,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,3,5,48,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.23855010269217794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669214238152834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623589126830646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116334722472776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951752052899822,0.0,0.268519283534645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27497584355018045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22112102687274046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680292402163858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755154166025701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726638313045652,0.0,0.2450053429341907,0.0,0.21633252099379688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4699053333829703,0.0,0.19406775598658005,0.142542054495367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365184241304354,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anotherunamusedanon,2019/01/06,"Asking parents for therapy? Help? I’ve been having issues for awhile, extreme lows cut by blistering highs. I don’t really know what has been going on but it’s been a few years now and it’s been getting worse. Started cutting, started doing the things I need to get done before I die. At this point I have a few days of the most vibrant joy I’ve ever felt which cut into weeks of the sharpest pain I could imagine. I can’t process or talk about my emotions easily. Even when I write things out just for me, I’m insanely inconsistant. When I feel something instead of feeling it and then feeling something else the second I feel it I get rid of the emotion. Then it ends up wounding me later. I don’t really know what to do at this point, I want someone who knows their shit to help me, but I’m a minor. How should I bring this up to my parents? They’ve never known anything was wrong with me. I act very happy, and they have never seen anything different. I want them to take me seriously enough to get therapy, but at the same time I don’t want them to freak out and take away all my freedom or something. How am I supposed to say the words “I want a therapist”? Is there some way to lead into it?",2.189977736549168,4.077807955102042,3.539304267161413,89.52261131725417,77.61224489795919,6.250463821892392,24.605751391465677,7.1686216300943375,0.9867551020408168,939,33,196,11,22,307,136,245,0.13699999999999998,0.71,0.154,0.5356,3,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,4,1,11,11,4,0,11,0,20,3,1,3,4,44,47,15,1,7,6,2,5,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,15,9,0,0,10,0,0,4,6,9,0,1,8,7,30,2,30,37,7,36,0,1,1,0,13,15,1,4,16,137,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822027371412653,0.0,0.10349489692524927,0.0,0.1040116610129426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942024073949662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838950314894088,0.0,0.0,0.07139602604562155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489505129764385,0.1156639069525992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329037999186865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924804172669554,0.24905805174637985,0.09805240199380233,0.114388594415823,0.0,0.07312007895252727,0.10013965489123693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239045381041313,0.0,0.10629484488205003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313566620856495,0.0,0.06291660757344457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784828941861752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840741089652842,0.1169666633204075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554800150292198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18252289299853308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208688300071833,0.17076614039359506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779868333113565,0.0,0.2458511849741541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20930536294099075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184182829580294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803762590574793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363782289906595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380059086645456,0.2556799980015014,0.0,0.0,0.15671614607772047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647383646409888,0.08898105817263335,0.0,0.0,0.25320326046539104,0.12853786474330248,0.14709591233155114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455339117463926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134380677358077,0.2611883898483823,0.08787304157968838,0.08880144482500896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281857879347615,0.0,0.12103931764009865,0.0,0.07129084915894268
mentalhealth,7layerdisorder,2019/01/06,"#whatnoonetalksabout I was wondering if y'all could help me a little bit my god mother is a therapist and owns a therapy business she is starting a you tube channel to kind of give advice and stuff and asked me to do one for my age group so I'm doing it for people in there 20s how ever I'm needing some ideas of what people would want to see on a channel like that ?? 
So what are some of the things that no one talks about that you would like to see talked about? 

P.S- I also have ADHD ,SCT(sluggish cognitive tempo) ,3 personality disorders: borderline, antisocial, and paranoid)",4.178918650793651,6.0235334196428605,5.172261904761908,80.14496031746036,71.94642857142857,8.192063492063493,26.73015873015873,8.841846274778883,2.1025861111111106,461,16,86,9,9,151,79,112,0.02,0.877,0.103,0.8007,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,0,8,3,0,0,6,0,10,0,0,1,1,16,20,9,0,6,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,10,3,13,16,4,6,0,0,2,0,12,3,0,4,5,64,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21176369278334572,0.1721851001356491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091075850342627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647275192709053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236979144747984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068503873992172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194574233026685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593871526128707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903151250885254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181062321172226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19891355070574007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348998042102066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216933857438774,0.1766033042515447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306534815060091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388016003484709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443161729689833,0.15385506406173335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808245128907772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471852593720298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20171211549256055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28325317306156056,0.0,0.0,0.20150532155171905,0.2045871267144351,0.11706250961710706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393004099796699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910863771214814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25034139086305085,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,samwise-is-cooler,2019/01/06,"My depression came back and I won. TL:DR- OP deals with cycles of depression and mania, dealt with a depression cycle in a healthy way in the first few days and is already feeling better.

So I’ve had my fair share of depression—borderline suicidal, not getting out of bed, not taking care of myself, disassociating—you know: depression shit. 
It always comes in waves, big 2-6 week periods of hard depression and then roughly the same time period of crazy mania. I’m not medicated (ik,ik) but I try to actively push myself in healthy directions. 

The last month has been manic af and then a few days ago I got hit with some personal shit and dropped into depression full tilt. Today I woke up—fought every urge to stay in bed—and called my friend. We walked our dogs, and had a great day. 

I’m not happy. But I’m slowly realizing that I can cope with my shit in positive ways. I’ll keep trying to get better one day at a time.",3.450787545787545,5.2477810384615395,4.96178021978022,81.09988644688646,73.78021978021978,8.80937728937729,25.32014652014652,9.3871,2.2084735531135533,727,24,143,18,15,244,116,182,0.192,0.637,0.171,-0.544,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,0,0,4,3,17,3,0,8,0,6,4,3,0,0,28,22,12,1,0,6,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,2,16,0,1,3,0,0,4,4,9,0,2,7,3,13,8,22,14,5,36,0,6,0,0,7,11,3,1,17,75,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140343982806732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623669948464766,0.0,0.09518502914063204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796197776540464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20234451539653756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168091342454238,0.13083633975376915,0.1166323770836504,0.0,0.0,0.09854036110869954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950988431050853,0.11793526188285755,0.5911646628885332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638193672074052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057841078331067435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973035364638706,0.0,0.0,0.08838057377070904,0.0,0.11953235899030172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149138689839433,0.12611986467368913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121774613362672,0.10247461633961624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167870441937324,0.0,0.0,0.06286798853674147,0.09324643402660393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523998942687533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913082543150922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751638154537659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988448847155346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35227160313936845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192885670160505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512854433386947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601010320313457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340820287373906,0.0,0.10843220145365437,0.0,0.0,0.15533212735201682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160137437986554,0.09176002182941972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,honeycomb67,2019/01/06,"is love real? feel like i’m lonely with no end in sight i’ve been feeling so cynical lately, i feel like everyone has some ulterior motive and everyone is selfish in relationships, including myself. 


i feel like i hold “love” up to be some sort of ideal, but i don’t even know really what it is or how i could have it for someone else or how someone else could have it for me.


i keep just feeling so strange and off-putting to others,  there’s no way that i could find whatever it is that i think love is. the idea of being in a relationship terrifies me because i refuse to believe that someone would genuinely care about me like that, it makes no sense 

any advice on how to get out of this rut of loneliness? 

tldr; i’m sad and lonely, love isn’t real oops",3.1538095238095245,4.573118948051949,4.816298701298702,83.38968614718615,73.80519480519482,8.25021645021645,26.46969696969697,8.841846274778883,1.956642424242424,594,21,122,12,12,201,91,154,0.193,0.617,0.189,-0.1874,0,4,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,9,15,1,0,2,0,17,4,0,5,0,36,34,11,0,5,4,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,3,10,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,6,13,10,18,27,2,9,0,3,1,4,7,6,0,5,6,81,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170059020702421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142546878230895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299074565661566,0.0,0.0,0.13490293217353844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208015564657275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868014686389828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200050296679952,0.0,0.1060517063435166,0.0,0.0,0.07908535623001177,0.0,0.0,0.22882823942929265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027138785123916,0.2566210494003386,0.0,0.0,0.10943772138369696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255779636503538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516883525917414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064280122881848,0.0,0.0,0.06580448772168795,0.0,0.13506888782456242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233990383057104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322703461361157,0.0,0.07992557636253089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036905641291695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27257451849635017,0.07670677931278423,0.0,0.0,0.25710609579214755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043590727551892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672282594348581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504189404467392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505794125152019,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aggressive_cloud,2019/01/06,"Any tips on how to enjoy music if you're depressed? since it's 5 am and I haven't gone to sleep yet, I'll copy my previous post in r/music which offers background info & anything ya need

 

The last time I was truly captivated by an album was 2-3 years ago. I listened to Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and I was blown away by it. I enjoyed it so much that I played the record again after it had ended. Even though it might not seem such a big deal to some of you, since then no album made me feel that way again.

y'know

that feeling when you're so captivated by a record you just forget about yourself, about your issues and your life, and idk you're breath synchronizes with the track's rhythm and you get shivers and it ***just feels so amazing and beautiful and fucking good man***

I haven't experienced that in a long time. Actually, I sort of did, but it only lasted for a couple of songs, after which I lost my interest for the music.

For example, yesterday, I decided to give Morbid Angel a try. The first track of Altars of Madness was hypnotizing. Yet by the album's third track I was bored.

And (roughly) the same goes for Iron Maiden, Eluvietie, Death (Symbolic got me pretty hooked though, almost finished the album), Dissection, Metallica, Nightwish, Emperor, Burzum (actually Filosofem pretty much offered me the same 'climax' Sgt. Pepper gave me but it had that 26 minute long synth song which turned me off.)

Any advice? My headphones are fine (audio-tehnica ath m40x), I usually download FLAC tracks, and my laptop does a good job at delivering the sound. I might also have depression, but since I'm 17 my parents won't take me seriously ('it's just a phase' 'this is how teenagers are') so the only therapist I could get is music. But music doesn't get me anymore.",2.2193892502055768,4.868721311953359,3.458658892128284,85.93036256260748,82.23615160349854,6.200164461388953,21.914405322568587,7.516190064127842,1.0873101442774915,1402,45,263,23,39,454,198,343,0.081,0.799,0.12,0.8938,2,2,0,0,0,0,58.0,0,6,0,2,21,16,2,0,19,0,21,5,3,3,0,39,40,26,1,3,9,1,4,0,0,3,1,4,0,1,18,11,0,0,6,5,0,1,6,8,0,2,13,9,32,8,29,23,5,32,2,4,0,1,15,7,1,7,22,163,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.22049883119360952,0.0,0.0,0.11039997779781488,0.10014743985589768,0.0,0.11313031093100102,0.0,0.0,0.09034779779432668,0.0,0.12241071075279908,0.0,0.15365669229825674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120429895142128,0.0,0.0,0.09297058027110452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614576521797622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902030729786498,0.12500708388228035,0.0,0.0,0.11647449599667226,0.19461413282081624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886707817002884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006423452652748,0.0,0.0,0.07462035177237544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137394717129234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609831858075102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444556827683056,0.17707771678818454,0.10837799097254648,0.0,0.18951977117282026,0.09035815927226072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387848413520964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791880755956145,0.11211240330382287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062089295111879474,0.18418293618618428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797991125604231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19996247115371008,0.0,0.0,0.12332792109461722,0.0,0.0,0.10690172491419538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397018362301605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610243074967654,0.08377113609776421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17184844940313818,0.0,0.0,0.12544777145507058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082008940113052,0.22987678505075154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285016761875712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803676343448557,0.0,0.11305875545878408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494476767395916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117519593274085,0.0,0.0,0.2219989814058088,0.0,0.13175578655156378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670407881651067,0.12288671298579147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244283856251838,0.0,0.0,0.08967601468595357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275358996597184
mentalhealth,PreviouslyLitMatch,2019/01/06,"Dealing with irrational feelings of guilt when asking for or receiving help. Dear redditors, 

A little heads-up; I usually lurk Reddit, the story will quite possibly be long-winded or dreadful. Sorry if this is the case. I will do my best to be as clear as possible typing this out! If you have a question, want me to elaborate on something, or want me to correct something please let me know!


I have been dealing with a burnout for the past 8+ months, which has since helped me develop insomnia and a minor depression. My psychiatrists current hypothesis is that the insomnia is the biggest problem at the moment, keeping me from recovering well and resulting in the minor depression.

Since acknowledging that there was more going on than mere stress I have been really motivated to get on top of the situation, pulling trough numerous sessions with different psychologists and psychiatrists and the heinous waiting periods in between. Going on finally seemed to pay off halfway through November, because that was the first time the actual hypothesis was set(?). Since the hypothesis I have been enlisted in the waiting period for group therapy for my insomnia. A month and a half later I still haven't heard anything.

A common theme since reaching out for help has been a lot of irrational guilt. When I first reached out to the psych I felt guilty for not being able to fix my situation on my own. For taking a spot at the psych, while there are people waiting that are in way worse situations than me. For not being pleased with the help I received from said psych. Later I also started feeling guilty for receiving food packages from the local food bank. For receiving social assistance for freelancers. For telling the people close to me I'm ""still not doing fine"" for months and months in a row. Etc etc. I think you get the gist of it by now. 

The stupid thing is that I know that most of these are irrational, but despite that i can't seem to shake this feeling of guilt. I feel like a fraud, feel like I'm cheating the system, feel like I'm always complaining, feel like I'm ungrateful for not being happy with the help I'm receiving etc. 

I can counter all above with rational thought, I know that it's okay to not be able to get trough this on my own. I know that I deserve a spot at the psych as much as he next person, and that I have every right to be critical about the help I receive. I know that the fact that I'm getting the social assistance and food packages means that my current situation is bad enough for me to be considered for the support. And I know by heart and constant validation that my friends and family don't mind the slightest bit that I talk about still not being in the best of situations at the moment. 

For some reason I can't connect these rational thoughs to my irrational feelings. If anyone has a bit of advice that would be much appreciated. 

I hope the 'essay' above is somewhat comprehensive. Thanks for taking the time to plow trough my shitty typing skills, hope I didn't bore you to death!
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mentalhealth,fraylight,2019/01/06,Selfharming while drinking Anyone else find it more easy to cut while intoxicated? I feel like that boundry isn't there anymore. There's nothing to hold me back and I'm sitting here listening to depressing music and I can embrace the darkness and just go with it.,4.136326530612243,6.9794320204081695,4.607510204081635,79.48391836734696,75.73469387755101,7.185306122448982,32.248979591836736,8.238735603445708,2.8523355102040813,215,11,36,4,5,68,40,49,0.131,0.718,0.151,0.2568,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,6,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,4,1,1,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,1,4,6,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382435762704343,0.2384796920241967,0.3494600991889624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26225695783142633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937576932010188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341126137178633,0.0,0.0,0.2849149843208858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724520710670176,0.24365599878207686,0.0,0.0,0.3117260727889161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938343791049964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16662651199815467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272598500565784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InNewYorkIMillyRockk,2019/01/06,"Thinking about University and my midterms grades makes me have anxiety attacks The grades for my midterms are going to be up on monday, cant sleep because of the anxiety. I need 40 ects to pass the first year out of 60. I already lost 12 and am looking to lose another 20 by the looks of it. 8 for one class, 8 for the other, and another 4 for another. Sure I can take resits but I think im just not cut out for this law school shit. Just thinking about it makes me have an episode. Im scared of confronting my parents about it since it was their decision to send me there and because they dont really care for or understand mental health as an issue

Just needed to vent I guess, but im feeling extremely lost and like nothing makes sense, year hasnt even reached half and Im already looking at losing half the ects I could get. ",4.506551909628833,5.062168337278108,5.134362560516408,85.6160570199032,69.76923076923077,8.51231845077999,30.748251748251747,8.575989854853784,2.1639775147928995,655,26,138,10,11,211,102,169,0.172,0.7759999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9589,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,5,8,12,4,1,8,0,11,3,2,3,1,30,31,10,0,3,7,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,6,0,0,3,4,9,0,4,3,4,14,3,25,26,0,12,0,4,3,0,4,5,1,2,5,83,20,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375575728775789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385965768422969,0.1646821911604689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245126605605915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122757436895718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974187590473304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859384312270849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614836086117884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109243351885591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05442389668394879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155496004382337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623526517643331,0.0,0.061171907979626926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857297326448014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441182655883855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4650605556145126,0.1123438148968139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052585417024479664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711609002061177,0.2408338653944373,0.2349943902216658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21554320527369106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847157439511576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596211698919936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327945705773668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293680654416793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951682269554555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895425232554274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776221719508296,0.1089331802244612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048660621557137,0.0890374494896597,0.0,0.10771353746356543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144547161568401,0.0,0.08092872929702835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20690603151242354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205266812466194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386278578179719
mentalhealth,new_amerykah00,2019/01/06,"I cleaned my room today Last year, I had the unfortunate chance of becoming well acquainted with depression. But today, I cleaned my room. And though it took entirely longer than it should have, I finished it. 
I brushed my hair today. After weeks of watching myself become unrecognizable. I thought this meant I was doing better.

And yet here I am. Wallowing before bed like usual. Back to square one. I just miss being happy and not feeling so damn... DOWN all of the time.  :( ",2.58158914728682,5.572882779069769,3.395697674418604,83.48176356589148,87.48837209302326,6.12248062015504,23.44573643410853,7.492282038375204,1.5761736434108524,373,14,64,7,12,118,65,86,0.134,0.725,0.141,0.1606,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,1,0,2,0,7,1,1,0,1,12,12,6,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,5,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,1,1,5,5,13,4,8,5,1,16,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,0,13,48,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438982188324368,0.0,0.0,0.4434983517230813,0.17085164254546265,0.0,0.0,0.17757634880857193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293420279545066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015219758346593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21373735953397488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16366503694369028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809248807407077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605583507617708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19726839112020145,0.15939936567034016,0.11707824904967595,0.0,0.5709567483857274,0.0,0.22307742860656093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211342348197076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610561038546641,0.0,0.1805281335265437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929774316910955
mentalhealth,LivingLifeSomewhere,2019/01/06,"Wilderness Therapy Programs To stick to the point, I am a young adult who is severely struggling with my mental health. I have the opportunity to join a wilderness therapy program, and I cannot decide whether or not I should go through with it. I have not been functioable for several months now and am hesitant to medication at this time for personal reasons. My application has been sent, but all over the web I only find really good reviews or really terrible reviews - almost no in between. 

Has anyone here had previous experience(s) with wilderness therapy programs (successful or not)? I don't know what to do, all I know is that I need to change my environment asap. I've sent in an application and am mostly ready to enrol though I have my doubts. This particular one will be in the PNW from January to \~March-ish. Anything helps, I have to make my mind up soon. ",6.220169395821571,7.559670316770191,7.048616600790512,70.59648221343876,66.32919254658384,10.82348955392434,35.754376058723885,10.832165505486646,4.297976397515528,695,34,119,20,11,231,101,161,0.093,0.818,0.08900000000000001,0.0745,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,2,7,0,20,2,0,2,2,28,27,9,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,3,6,3,0,1,5,0,16,3,23,19,3,15,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,6,5,92,22,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399100630031255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145110990314328,0.0,0.1347679405237493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732458967071514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968190745646132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307370197013023,0.13736167492455395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740787985645648,0.0,0.0,0.10977091474471178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000632902148245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931708530878533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649800473661015,0.16504064236224575,0.0,0.16536001396597122,0.0,0.1307188606727418,0.0,0.0,0.12143264519065555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097411898948477,0.1245537111886713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429967819428889,0.0,0.0,0.15481464848831147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20982924164007305,0.1683818171176648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700247307359698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120692644952976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5618524037928553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090222000975107,0.0,0.09549502624304748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,marisssahh,2019/01/06,"We're all ""insane"" inside... Everybody. I think we've all been down that dark road we call ""depression"" at some point in our lives; everyone... I've felt that... I FEEL that. And I don't think you're human if you haven't... 

It's that familiar overwhelming feeling of dread to be alive, washing over you again... Like when you wake up and realize you made it to see another day... That blanket of sorrow we curl back up with for ""comfort""... Sometimes we stay covered so long, that we forget to eat, shower, brush the matted mane... It becomes all we know, and feels eternal.

Whether it's the death of person close to you, that makes you feel as though any will to live you had, plus your happiness went with them... Or maybe some wretched human being decided you were less of a person than them, and stole your shine away...  

You are a human being, just like them, just like ME. It's okay to wanna punch someone in the face for fucking you over, or stab them in the corrated  artery for crushing your heart again, because you're too ""soft"", too ""naive"", and you let them back in...

Fuck. That. 

Don't feel alone, don't let them knock you down and then make you feel crazy for reacting. This world sucks and people are assholes, and your have the right to feel pissed or sad or ""stabby""...Seriously, we're all born with a little darkness inside of us. Me including...

So why not? Right? I mean, they make you wanna slit your wrists open with the nearest sharp object, why not fucking do it?! Because the law says it's bad... It's frowned upon to express emotions....

Hahahaha I'm not crazy, you're not crazy; WE'RE HUMAN. Stop thinking you have to label emotions with mental illnesses... The darkness can only be masked with prescriptions for so long..........
",3.75307373839096,5.571594577039279,3.9143739509902673,88.83354369475218,73.01812688821751,6.837238446906119,24.948081011525122,7.526774132740827,1.1181016224683895,1339,42,267,16,27,413,175,331,0.141,0.805,0.054000000000000006,-0.984,1,1,0,0,0,0,106.0,7,20,7,0,13,17,5,2,11,1,20,11,5,5,4,65,44,22,1,3,12,0,10,3,0,1,2,1,1,6,17,22,1,1,15,0,0,1,8,11,0,0,6,14,40,6,43,31,7,36,0,4,2,3,43,22,5,7,15,170,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095325257102442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285133910401999,0.1123340132035086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065114666584823,0.1647510533794803,0.0894481732953369,0.1306095904096457,0.11831547528064575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093906048963778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908929074772087,0.0,0.09226998168777398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096196297689434,0.0,0.24101123134180102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236627382402744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3791732051741907,0.0,0.10286056311239487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971168804419376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404072723265728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694828582584253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058875252685319186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21909315750248692,0.0,0.15701333684132493,0.10737132146503196,0.1891935978376428,0.18961144583042694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136797422935367,0.214528157605255,0.0,0.10762539909309184,0.11669479963378845,0.0,0.0,0.10796075421620296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147637095862485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742697042338312,0.18708168131289046,0.0,0.0,0.10127145638363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18297502441590432,0.0,0.08519321690334214,0.0,0.0,0.0853678790910644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076998614095723,0.0,0.10595324100933004,0.0,0.0,0.11418517460191585,0.0,0.08956457390864772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059316584877422,0.10525361982769356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288629001414772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993095819780701,0.19333437465101586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,not_monica,2019/01/06,"Anyone else need constant, varying mental stimulation? Hiya! 21 f here diagnosed with GAD, with some low mood. I’ve done therapy (cbt) before for about 2 years straight but recently stopped going. I feel like my main issue is no longer my anxiety, but my issues with staying engaged. My anxiety is pretty well controlled with meds and self talk, and on days it does get outta control I have a good support system. But here’s the thing. I AM ALWAYS BORED!!! No matter what. At home if I’m cleaning I have to have music playing, then a YouTube video then a podcast. Then I have to switch up the room I’m cleaning in. Watching movies with other people is painful, I just wanna get up and exercise, make a snack, anything! I even get bored of coworkers, friends etc. I like drinking alcohol, and I even like socially smoking  cigarettes because it gives me the excuse to switch up the environment, the conversation. Is anyone else ALWAYS bored? How do you combat it?? ",3.2849408633944392,6.0468863764044976,4.106380839739799,82.30807510348909,78.49438202247191,6.668716735659372,28.469544648137198,7.85451343220497,2.1938157303370787,757,34,130,13,19,242,118,178,0.145,0.659,0.196,0.9114,0,0,3,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,2,8,15,0,0,9,0,11,6,0,5,0,25,22,12,0,3,5,0,1,3,1,0,4,0,4,1,6,9,3,3,1,4,0,1,2,5,1,0,1,2,15,9,18,21,3,20,0,1,1,0,8,9,0,2,11,82,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867099765714286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21593678959461532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852782363285196,0.0,0.0,0.18145851890158848,0.26590319484141794,0.10677912922722096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909879191096475,0.0,0.11041383011654307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022144879191362,0.2910674928816887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368266702299566,0.0,0.0,0.1317008385435175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355141040801255,0.13278667834691893,0.0,0.12711266841419486,0.0,0.0,0.21679100064625886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447135908547793,0.1714068291635608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560914502136611,0.09269857799044147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002500999100406,0.0,0.20337836280089894,0.12447494110178088,0.07374401368530979,0.10883419291438773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015706312690778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708656341394399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017845809186415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661394641459927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413101056849442,0.0,0.1307647502073108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621332835409237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807082185005268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995731266066141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320097328945104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811959256198244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536507083631316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227113665318815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830392296348706,0.0,0.10848283915407107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14724694618473289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429393167704087,0.0,0.0,0.14838868007249253,0.0,0.08620492577709686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666731656473478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355939010025994
mentalhealth,EN-I-JEE-JEE-AR,2019/01/06,"I cant ignore my stress anymore I want to talk to my mom, to hold a conversation. Shes alive but has Locked-In syndrome.

My grades in school are garbage and even if I graduate I have little job opportunities and I'll most likely end up working a dead end job 

My brother hates me and torments me, the rest of my family is always distant, I just have no idea what to do

Ive been crying for the past hour I just want to die and I think I will in a little while",1.1021212121212116,2.771934767676772,3.241414141414144,91.41545454545457,80.1111111111111,6.016161616161617,21.1010101010101,6.937597516519254,0.31460404040404066,358,10,83,4,9,122,67,99,0.211,0.688,0.101,-0.9552,2,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,1,1,5,0,11,0,0,0,0,15,15,7,2,3,4,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,17,2,10,13,2,10,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,6,55,18,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588600326236128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189340501979692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20971572880748005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981439424500373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33819541012984106,0.0,0.0,0.12610030242624434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998158960597085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884931411670284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18801691165479206,0.0,0.0,0.21552448920141296,0.0,0.0,0.3789156075133602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327345628474384,0.3827023026340008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22360220891897095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822539380625449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193220379309618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869724899877732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345358629961506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233328666221815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252181303817263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389914199439223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrra,2019/01/06,"I want to kill myself beep boop Hi, i'm 16, i've been feeling like absolute dogshit these past 3 years; having to travel with family to the most beautiful places yet still not feeling capable of getting out of bed which they always told me i was ungrateful for (i was, i know), never wanting to actually leave the bed which my sister thinks its me being lazy, self harming but having my bestfriend tell it wasn't important and just general feelings of not wanting to be alive oh my god why have i been born i never asked for this etc. I just can never get through the day without thinking about suicide. I always feel completely drained, numb, empty, and disgusting. I have NOT beem diagnosed or even been to a psychiatrist. Im quite certain im not looking for attention as i have told about my mental state to three people only once in my life but i did have a tumblr if you're wondering, it was about cats in banana costumes.My mother laughed when i told her about wanting to see a psychologist. My sister told me that i should wait until i'm around her age (she's 24) to see if i still feel the same way but for the moment it's just a fase god please let it be a fase i do not want to live like this it makes me miserable. You're probably wondering why i posted this on r/depression if i'm not diagnosed as such and if i don't even think i am depressed but i just don't have anyone to talk to, and since i have been relating to what everyone that is diagnosed with depression is feeling and thinking i was hoping maybe someone could relate to what i was going through. I know i should go to a psychiatrist to check but i absolutely don't want my parents to know. My father thinks medication of any kind doesn't work for mental illnesses, he's also quite anti-vax (so very conservative) he would go nuts if he found out i was talking to a psychologist or was thinking about making him spend money on something that probably is a fase. I dont even know why im writing this, its 2 am. this is stupid. ",4.302557603686637,5.283562863523574,5.512544310528185,81.1756296526055,70.48883374689827,8.834065934065936,29.033055654023393,9.140100540675403,2.3547115207373266,1586,59,316,31,28,529,198,403,0.13,0.754,0.116,-0.8661,1,0,1,0,0,2,33.0,0,0,1,3,20,14,3,1,13,0,42,7,0,2,4,76,87,23,2,16,23,5,6,2,0,3,7,0,2,1,20,10,0,2,20,1,3,4,16,8,0,1,18,9,45,6,47,61,3,29,0,3,3,0,24,8,0,11,16,211,65,1,0.0,0.0,0.0743269087208129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090982417851475,0.12675222207818912,0.0,0.0,0.051795408079811915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05325695202047905,0.0,0.0,0.0678037784773532,0.07120481319323657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985847273395552,0.0,0.0,0.06081225497049472,0.0,0.0,0.049120689505973834,0.0,0.19680467430575924,0.23192028509302146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926584038436848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494508619949671,0.15092052991510935,0.0,0.0,0.07277975932267655,0.0,0.0,0.07180241008061644,0.0,0.2310705351057702,0.054412917622026935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351195261390837,0.0,0.0,0.07958705402024706,0.0,0.1298604691279131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756499014802128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246816651301371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426625779272794,0.07931503999172446,0.16743509597175696,0.0,0.0,0.08064866607262948,0.0,0.0778847694490054,0.053798211293669115,0.07442160025873501,0.0,0.06725586465951311,0.0,0.06396015366625342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168262843605247,0.0,0.0765188606597858,0.0,0.0,0.07672910784395685,0.1535145788671973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623145905307142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111417303269815,0.0,0.05792758149082865,0.0,0.0,0.08457319258969988,0.0,0.07270894777751194,0.05280382881178845,0.0,0.07957713020100084,0.08360726056967079,0.0,0.0,0.07294585580480586,0.0,0.16423939496959902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202357089172856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138868519949368,0.0,0.07945762068837398,0.0,0.0,0.0630052003856133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453510026571797,0.05863621310750328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165233523891053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331310702386911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243849335866401,0.0665723334914572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292824110554654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911190372907062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628448251160597,0.26954764524518865,0.06045692779347778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061835709692268,0.0,0.0,0.07342118727308737,0.1651972887946067,0.05544966545939208,0.0,0.0,0.05410605359030304,0.0,0.0,0.04904832747856271
mentalhealth,WhaddupBoi2,2019/01/06,"Feels like it is too late to live my life Hello everyone, 

I rarely post on any subreddits, but I feel like I need to have other people's advices. 

I'm a 22 year old male, and I am constantly living with the thought that I haven't done anything important in my life, and it's already too late to do something of my life.

I am on my way to finish a bachelor's degree, and I am going to grad school in September. I am studying in a field that I am not even sure I enjoy, and where the jobs are not entirely secured (working in the health field in Canada).

I have nothing that sets me apart and I don't have anything that sets me apart from the mass and I don't have any sense of self. The only thing I have ever truly cared about was streaming (on Twitch), but my numbers (views, followers etc.) are embarassing and I just cannot seem to succeed no matter what I do. I haven't streamed in about 3 weeks and I just don't know what to do anymore.

Most people my age are already working, married or are huge on Twitch. I feel like a complete failure and it's eating me up.

I suffer from depression and anxiety, and I am extremely lonely. Sorry for the sad story, I just needed people to turn to.

I hope everyone is having a good day/evening, xo",3.4589803921568603,4.338824721568628,4.789117647058827,85.95936274509806,72.37254901960785,7.7058823529411775,27.5,7.984000788550335,1.619117647058823,964,34,202,13,18,321,131,255,0.16399999999999998,0.73,0.105,-0.9488,2,2,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,3,10,14,0,0,11,0,29,7,0,0,2,33,43,14,0,3,8,0,3,3,0,0,6,0,0,2,11,12,1,1,6,0,0,2,9,4,0,0,3,4,32,10,28,40,2,31,0,4,1,0,3,16,0,4,12,138,43,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365517602971804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566983185041515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581873362627456,0.0,0.08897557136656,0.0,0.11534663276341488,0.0,0.0,0.1914237281034409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858411699109847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194709481128002,0.12568800982959852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750092654581091,0.0,0.10017621364077207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190238260772396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901248109179005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971455784074684,0.1536411398853864,0.1052075636789713,0.0,0.22227523033234373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764269932040362,0.24927213094786496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610071709291726,0.0975539279238202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363033995879992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552043749953846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154180932531214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639200288466131,0.0,0.26240177546980586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464560872017589,0.17046715831256326,0.0,0.20540481237530475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724823393866535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160100114512043,0.0,0.12204605085205295,0.0,0.0,0.08845774318504593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419007012554027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111391251164465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771026220805468,0.0,0.10588275594406156,0.12133497764031086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953985212084764,0.0,0.13019767839772767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961924584499108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727010134170285,0.0,0.0,0.09233584017201492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651008881262665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232015656236267,0.09329554482046996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934773179440232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748987657363471
mentalhealth,Andrew6286,2019/01/06,"Just Struggling I’m 20 going on 21 this year, I have a wonderful girlfriend and a supportive family. But before Christmas is started having restless night filled with the thoughts of my parents deaths as if they were to happen tomorrow ( they are okay rn). It then spiraled into me losing interest in many of the hobbies I had. I’ve lost interest in video games, movies, football, and sometimes have the thought of my own death ( I haven’t harmed myself in anyway). The people around me started taking notice as I had notably weight loss and become much more reserved and quite. A few days ago my mom found me in my car crying (it was in the drive way) I spoke to my mom and recommended I see a primary care physician or a consoler. I’m afraid to say the least. My mother had a deep depression that drove her to alcohol when I was young, I don’t want to be like that. I’ve come here to mainly vent. I’m seeking help currently, but it just scares me.",4.128824884792625,5.58643673655914,4.8806758832565285,83.73387096774195,71.41935483870971,7.894930875576037,28.3394777265745,8.418075326091056,2.0156187403993857,747,28,144,12,14,241,122,186,0.112,0.7909999999999999,0.096,-0.5994,2,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,4,6,15,0,4,12,1,14,3,0,0,0,20,34,13,2,2,6,4,1,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,6,9,2,0,4,2,0,6,2,9,0,0,12,4,22,6,20,21,6,27,0,4,1,0,12,9,0,3,12,95,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680622010196164,0.16493423059531928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738841515662606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704478353273242,0.131325370301151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735200578377634,0.0,0.0,0.1329435604316863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695267202637299,0.09953152809736887,0.0,0.13292613334872516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549070194807712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692173367608467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771056935978395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364754913554827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344564820783504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539893751188691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726583014371468,0.16847187249384254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15646866934840212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615041116592344,0.0,0.0,0.11345195510393707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483035377516718,0.0,0.0,0.17570827970958755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171367690054558,0.0,0.0,0.10699454392613957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415133583054545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273119278185615,0.1545134970908761,0.0,0.12298281491108462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263853298241184,0.0,0.2184743095740212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613415678044712,0.0,0.0,0.17513439858949728,0.0,0.0,0.1160386386275584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24504512114193805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102915457188483,0.12250174962681115,0.0,0.1879350926435798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673667323956224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938490346247696
mentalhealth,workerdaemon,2019/01/06,"Thoughts on how perspective effects our mental health and wondering how to change perspective Recently, perspective on life has seemed to be the common theme in my analysis of the source of problems and successes in one's mental health.

A *huge* component to keep my mental health stablized is enjoying the little things in life. One day while I was in high school it hit me, like as if I had actually walked into a window, that the day was beautiful and the air smelled so nice, and I needed to enjoy that moment. I actually ended up writing a speech about it because it had been such a significant event.

And so today, I sit here in my crippled body -- talk about depressing triggering -- with stressors all around me. Yet, I'm relatively OK because my cat looks adorable sleeping on my knee. The Christmas tree is beautiful and brings up feelings of comfort. I have shelter. I have food. I appreciate all of this.

Maybe I got this from my grandmother. We recently discussed this and she has the same perspective as I do. She is 93, and she focuses on enjoying everything she has. She views every day as a gift. Every experience as a gift. She accepts her death soon, and does not mourn or fear it. She sees every moment as a gift. I'm somewhat similar in viewing her mortality: I accept she will die and do not fear it. Every conversation with her is a gift.

The two people I'm working on these days are suffering from their perspective. My father-in-law is suffering suicidal depression because life isn't working precisely as he believes it should work. My husband is burning out trying to help his father from a strong sense of filial piety. Their perspective is torturing them. 

My husband deals with other perspective issues, too. He often focuses on the bad. He *never* takes a moment to enjoy something unless I specifically point it out to him. Oh, and our cat. Our cat brings him much joy.

This theory mostly relates to depression, I suppose. I theorize that there is a line, or quick gradient, and if we're above it we're not depressed, and if we fall below it we are depressed (my theory of antidepressants is that it can move the line down, making it easier to stay above it). Each positive experience bumps us up, and each negative experience pulls us down. This accumulation of little joys (cute cat, a smile, fresh air, warm food) helps to keep us up above the depression, and to counteract the pull down from significant depressing events.

I suffer from depression. I think my bar is naturally quite high, so it takes a lot of little joys to keep above it (either that or my life is just hard with a lot pulling me down -- I definitely suffer situational depression). When on antidepressants, it's much easier to stay above the line. 

My husband, on the other hand, is never above the line. He's been surviving through depression for most of his life. It's here where I think perspective is so important: he has so very little that will give him a bump up. Instead, everywhere he turns is another thing to pull him down. He is consumed by feelings of obligations and feeling he's about to collapse under the weight.

I believe the cat and I are significant towards keeping my husband afloat. He *loves* the cat. He can't help but have his heart flutter when he sees her adorable fluffiness. And she is a good cat, so they have good interactions together. I just merely love him. He forgets, often, that he is loved. I am an obligation he has, so often my mere existence is percieved is burdensome. So I remind him regularly that I love him, and every time it's like it's the first time he's felt loved. He only has brief moments when he realizes the value of a good partnership. The rest of the time his head is buried under a constant inflow of obligations -- most of which he creates himself.

He has other perspectives that keep him up. He enjoys meeting good, smart, hard working people and networking with them so he can fantasize about a future where he works with them all on a new company he creates. That's a good perspective.

My father-in-law is a perfect case study on how perspective on life can destroy your mental health. He believes in a strict system. Men are served by their wives. Men die young so they're never alone. A man's children, especially his daughter-in-laws, will serve him if his wife cannot. This perspective is consuming him into a black hole. He doesn't have any of it. He's so angry at me that I can't serve him to his high expectations that it's destroyed our relationship. One son, the golden child, has abandoned him. The other son, my husband, his scapegoat, is the only family member left to dote on him. But since that son is the scapegoat, everything he does isn't good enough. He feels *everyone else* is negligent in their duties to serve him. And his constant disappointment continuously pulls my husband down to firmly keep him in the realm of depression.

My husband believes that he *must* earn his father's respect. He believes if he just works harder he can get his respect. But his father will never respect him because he only views my husband through the perspective of being the scapegoat. His brother is still viewed as the golden child by his father, despite that he communicates with him just once a year. My husband can't see that it is impossible to earn his father's respect. He can't let go this perspective of life that he must earn his father's respect.

I feel changing my perspective has been a life saver. I've basically just... let go. I've let go of any expectations. I've let go any want of possessions. I've let go social standing. I've let it all go. I just float in the river and appreciate whatever it is that comes my way.

I've let go of any perspective that could pull me down.

This is not to say that *perspective* is the only thing one needs to fix their mental health. There's still other work to be done, and hell, work to maintain the new perspective. But it seems, at the very least in the case studies I am observing, that perspective is the cause of their problems.

I still suffer anxiety, explosive emotions, fear rejection, and risk so easily dipping into depression over the smallest thing. My husband is a huge vibrating ball of anxiety. My father-in-law is deeply insecure and self centered. Even my grandmother isn't freed because of her perspective, she has severe black and white thinking, golden/scapegoat child issues, and very likely avoidant personality disorder.

I guess with my grandmother and I, even though we still suffer mental health issues, it's easier to stay out of the goo of depression. My husband barely realizes that there is a possibility to get out of that goo, and his father is just rolling around wallowing in it.

Then comes the next part of this exploration: how do you help someone to change their perspective?

Oh god I wish I knew. I wish oh so wish I could help my husband. Unfortunately, my change in perspective moved faster than he could keep up so I've left him behind in terms of our mental health. It pains me so much to see his suffering. I wish there was something I could grab hold of and turn so his perspective contained more light than darkness.

And for goodness sake do I wish I could completely abolish my father-in-law's perspective of a sex-based caste system. I wish I could shatter that perspective to pieces. Then maybe he'll see he has to dig his own way out of his hole. As someone once described it, ""His son has jumped into the goo with him to help pull him out, but he is angrily pushing his son away because he expects to be pulled out by a first class helicopter with a shower, fresh clothes, and a gourmet meal."" Yup. My father-in-law definitely needs to let go of that perspective.

I wish I knew how to help someone change perspective. How do I put that thought in their head? That inception. 

The only thing I know that I can do is stay away from my father-in-law and push my husband towards professional help.",4.712902991739226,6.691349693904892,5.3538775954454145,78.83792065751287,70.8151373074347,8.888254074570217,29.655330430899753,9.430408475229573,2.8376177316365263,6315,257,1138,146,120,2036,488,1493,0.102,0.7390000000000001,0.158,0.9973,1,2,2,0,1,0,214.0,12,2,12,19,64,80,4,6,75,2,114,33,7,10,12,182,187,84,6,30,26,28,12,3,0,8,16,2,2,9,77,64,5,12,23,2,0,30,18,38,0,7,15,29,171,42,171,145,25,169,1,24,13,5,187,81,1,21,51,753,248,16,0.0,0.0,0.0604636275979719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03208572754056517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842692994857672,0.032485019210038914,0.04739892109917091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05515717634631137,0.0,0.0,0.058213079720192885,0.0,0.025866837166564897,0.11330998330272778,0.0,0.0,0.17451811704076398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034411571501000174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0318247861562828,0.1638625916827645,0.053372705394974296,0.03248172861638601,0.0669563113731684,0.0,0.14840908634073066,0.0,0.0,0.07991762683958223,0.031938811251206144,0.3468771082600967,0.0,0.06430427815024631,0.0,0.03550553228459118,0.0,0.05422125971201475,0.03170308914294212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025879645851670796,0.03484810279941552,0.02743890559209199,0.032010412587202684,0.0,0.04092372858732262,0.0,0.13050907912542115,0.029602524442968726,0.05568528941333169,0.09091256052407187,0.02920499626897287,0.10458265638806788,0.07832158312486509,0.0,0.029745464204222,0.0,0.0,0.052702800427598735,0.07492178902983261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03237133145127296,0.0297186449946603,0.14085226432221948,0.18189069219167928,0.02477737438834344,0.0,0.03412774001033759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055503627618373935,0.0,0.06358842050454673,0.2305105349377525,0.0,0.03671120959831603,0.16612084371024538,0.0981955719699819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970045804118286,0.0,0.19275387427046592,0.0,0.0,0.017025686699304644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731928199032451,0.253431537867787,0.17505557914782816,0.04540549311883249,0.12419958446886092,0.0,0.0,0.0260152277213064,0.0,0.0,0.05267583254529461,0.13980238539809833,0.0,0.020679255618022373,0.0,0.06224674178947597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21854244785174928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585324463652623,0.06832114797344169,0.06891338265680158,0.09557411974225677,0.05984096359591067,0.0329473664573984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598494724957096,0.08397085111027774,0.11780766128956018,0.03296468913632606,0.0,0.0,0.03354810209780852,0.0,0.042954982199185934,0.02705036452443687,0.0,0.0,0.029285922511206836,0.03492506726063919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928696523313404,0.0,0.031143253503390124,0.0,0.032950828377946065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117762586602425,0.03326070901085215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02463637867772396,0.0,0.031353209343138906,0.12343443953922985,0.05640568886126365,0.03231868558645881,0.034998353506522174,0.0,0.02562680890685678,0.034822590771017604,0.031002171076125924,0.03158000251650698,0.07874724652119514,0.04769952382123798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208137000233255,0.09896202628227202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033886870608616004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658590497946695,0.02490038800719697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290800555052156,0.05955181063290396,0.0304374940814628,0.04918899801056936,0.05419370775441898,0.0,0.02936522597644241,0.0,0.0,0.021033249163732524,0.0673942479467174,0.030262760945699813,0.0,0.11179464706669442,0.0,0.0,0.07668473304634589,0.018272687422928386,0.04918064306364359,0.0,0.03772504775888436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493766702873535,0.0,0.03359626924412495,0.18042929434141766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019949974094218944
mentalhealth,geo247,2019/01/06,"How do you build a sense of self-identity as an individual as opposed to being defined by a relationship? So my mental health has always been pretty shitty.

After a 7 year relationship ending things took a turn for the worse and I ended up in a psychiatric unit due to concerns about my suicidal plans.

Since being discharged I've been to A&E/ ED three times for various reasons.

One of the things that was keeping me going was a girl I met on the psychiatric ward and we started a sort of relationship.

However she has decided (I think upon advice of the nurses/ doctor) that neither of us are mentally well enough to build a healthy relationship together.

Deep down I know this is probably the case.

But it just leaves me feeling empty again. I don't really know who I am without being emotionally involved with someone else (I think this is why they have diagnosed me with emotionally unstable personality disorder).

How do you even begin to build any form of self image when you haven't been with some sort of partner for the best part of a decade since you were 18?

Would welcome any advice.",5.7137723577235775,7.3893378731707315,6.605365853658537,72.04723577235774,67.82926829268294,9.759349593495935,32.203252032520325,10.047579312681364,3.514115447154472,884,38,149,22,15,293,133,205,0.075,0.843,0.08199999999999999,0.1431,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,2,4,1,2,9,3,0,0,16,0,21,3,0,3,0,24,33,9,1,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,8,6,0,2,7,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,8,1,20,3,30,21,7,18,0,0,0,0,20,6,0,3,10,115,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22207514705881687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945489669255484,0.12311767236850026,0.0,0.15454410960661508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924730153666242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153316973072988,0.0,0.0,0.13022941703598315,0.11630475607129058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949229873628296,0.2556361119164194,0.20128427596700446,0.1174097979125876,0.0,0.07505130854183431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574545624604705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645783455795474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078299856798053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009992490203076,0.0,0.0,0.12489576191764258,0.0,0.0,0.12031738672615755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290239114064689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699838788822093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304983189217812,0.0,0.0,0.09921702269922232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560219907617615,0.12251197547663972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279405993583278,0.11683019956191705,0.0,0.487982854048529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370810018877161,0.0,0.0,0.18799123233428394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962780290636068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804276472431219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429238827237785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509809734861656,0.14561857609489706,0.0,0.0,0.06625835950772208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262467160437315,0.0,0.1235964236690019,0.0,0.0,0.13668247151404672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216669679937354,0.0,0.10253308022290096,0.0,0.0,0.1095349224384471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579831542274024,0.08071923927654424,0.0,0.0,0.07317376557964239
mentalhealth,Chillspacemedia,2019/01/06,"Mental health story, please share  My story of how mental illness has impacted my life. My goal is to help anyone suffering and feeling alone. 

https://youtu.be/G7WPJTYNCdg",8.62717948717949,12.898311461538466,6.3976923076923065,64.63064102564104,69.0,8.082051282051282,27.89743589743589,8.841846274778883,3.288682051282052,142,5,16,3,3,41,22,26,0.22,0.535,0.245,-0.0258,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421559229437653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23099714472739274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16704120875317402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35115989424703264,0.0,0.0,0.2214350232826091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23334480718122694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6658554056701299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626388243669405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway5837472884,2019/01/06,"Im really desperate I feel like I have no energy and yet I've continued to struggle and try my best even at my worst and although at times I get small victories and I feel somewhat motivated it all goes away again.
I can't keep going in this cycle and I'm so so tired of finding my way back to the beginning, I keep losing progress and I'm just really tired of it. This is the most empty and tired that I've felt in my entire life and quite honestly I don't really even have the energy to right this message, yet I am.
I'm tired and every breath uses motivation and now that all of my motivation is gone I'm finding it hard to breathe.
I can't stop thinking of finally just killing myself and stopping it, I can't stand feeling this hurt over random thoughts or just nothing. I can't stand feeling tired despite doing nothing. I don't know what to do because I've tried everything I can and more options will open up for me in the future but I can't wait that long. 
This world isn't for me, I don't think I was made for it and it feels like my body is rejecting it. Even if my tiredness and my random pains left, I still don't think I'd really be happy but it doesn't matter because no matter what moves I make I always find myself back to the beginning. No progress whatsoever. 
This is sort of my last ditch effort, I don't know what else to do but whine to strangers and when that doesn't work I think I'm just going to end it.",3.068343834383441,4.03731818811881,4.618987398739872,86.47746399639965,73.38943894389439,8.017341734173419,25.653915391539154,8.438071523408619,1.5057207920792082,1133,36,248,19,22,381,138,303,0.172,0.726,0.102,-0.9368,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,10,17,13,1,1,5,0,27,10,3,6,2,62,57,24,1,1,9,0,7,2,0,1,7,0,0,0,22,16,0,5,19,0,0,4,16,8,0,0,5,7,34,5,25,50,7,39,0,4,0,0,1,13,0,8,21,161,56,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791309231786847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797460033233903,0.14400142030681434,0.0,0.1141599166674754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982657591658164,0.0,0.0,0.10400907370506547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822130392298954,0.0,0.08293417096720739,0.0,0.0,0.18553813080584916,0.0,0.07889281330578944,0.0,0.08415447360070115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367272099646696,0.13378790854978045,0.0899057509976954,0.10257423944875,0.25674627052482113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892122114720472,0.0,0.10643159337397083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996778251638785,0.08387993695216991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023983980413376,0.0,0.10114351829176553,0.0,0.0,0.16645689675596573,0.103594944767692,0.0,0.1029203739059613,0.07632626777781308,0.0,0.0,0.10173636159133624,0.0,0.06613824885017308,0.09149215558249513,0.0,0.0,0.08286538066351093,0.0,0.10475532347658308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860114678010039,0.06250310950426267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952081053489653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969354791278408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963586760183432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959397341981736,0.0,0.0,0.2399438300130361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996508324554961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477825217380943,0.15656866025994454,0.0,0.09788922968021374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23999402492493105,0.0,0.07433694388835059,0.05460021245098047,0.538107071927546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714611202595494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087189598726803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432431746280971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816850755117368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ratscatsnbats,2019/01/06,"I have truely no one I have nobody but my boyfriend and yeah he does everything for me, he feeds me, teaching me how to drive, getting me a room/ apartment but I have no friends and he is gone at work sometimes more then 12 hours a day. I haven’t spoken to my mom or step dad or really any other family in 72 straight days. My mom doesn’t miss me and she never asks where I am or how I am doing. They don’t care that I’m in another state and a different family now has to feed my mouth and make sure I’m okay because she couldn’t care at all about me. I wish they cared. I wish my family cared about me enough to at least ask about me. I have no friends here I don’t know anyone. I left highschool and I’m having a hard time finding a new job. I sit alone in this stupid basement all day long. No one to laugh with or talk to and no one to vent to. I’ve started venting online to randoms for help and advice but my position I’m in is so dramatic people think I am lieing for attention. I never wanted it to get this bad. I never wanted to be 17 living from basement to motel 6 states away from my abusive family. I just want help I just want someone to talk to and to just please help me and be my friend. I’ve tried apps and online stuff to meet with people but I only get bullied for over sharing my story and people tell me i better keep acting my boyfriends sex is good or else he will kick me out on the streets and other horrible things like that. I just want someone to talk to. I can’t just dumb all of it on my boyfriend he already stressed about me because I spend all his money on food and gas and tampons and toilet paper ect because my parents don’t take care of me. I feel like I’m going to throw up ",0.9776863354037246,2.7955154021739155,2.7154627329192564,94.32115217391306,81.11956521739131,5.5100621118012425,20.56863354037268,6.474141703775902,0.10782552795031064,1340,37,305,12,35,443,180,368,0.124,0.6629999999999999,0.214,0.9894,3,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,2,15,21,2,1,6,2,23,5,1,3,8,59,55,29,0,8,14,4,2,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,10,19,3,1,5,1,2,6,15,5,0,3,1,2,53,16,47,50,7,42,0,1,0,1,28,20,1,6,15,194,63,5,0.0,0.099056129130457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169608607306461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658770881062207,0.09225821760129363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685304748290108,0.08766525180113673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05845730604823676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563154254619739,0.0,0.07854796481409013,0.0,0.06980518554857884,0.15289121661880542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394024244967044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42619520584218745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617514561468117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734755704403616,0.0,0.0,0.07316172964059192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983975153106417,0.0,0.0,0.08638446114411392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513717148319103,0.0,0.3152546514092332,0.0,0.04227229334057541,0.059726147624542786,0.0,0.0,0.07641181639226408,0.0,0.10109332948558307,0.0,0.1937748905021925,0.0,0.13103767483398548,0.0,0.047513629046707466,0.07012240331532332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489205192677874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811240166331234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233231808950213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296328253744024,0.07431037151665228,0.0,0.0,0.045946136030621684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083512878037264,0.0,0.0,0.08168860773803772,0.0,0.0738231632637955,0.07398620715610114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580578971163955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958301306856171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343984111654075,0.08074449806754297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699550897355644,0.06358400605692577,0.0,0.0,0.09283146735080623,0.0,0.0,0.17387981085638107,0.0,0.0,0.0917712154667908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355835504231864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416734515950538,0.0,0.08268570922862155,0.0,0.05917478005846305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576719089464664,0.0,0.09570566986503357,0.0,0.0,0.07879503298182555,0.0,0.06285920694710137,0.2015912723169032,0.07307288768157315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554225571245056,0.05356955915168222,0.0,0.0,0.04874970218949596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676108954138592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465566872005187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227912369363293,0.0,0.0,0.0608641302413549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,roleoco,2019/01/06,"I have a weird thing Not sure if it fits here but I am hoping someone who knows what I’m talking about can help me out.
It’s not related to depression but I have had ptsd and I have generalised anxiety disorder (for background information) (which I’m dealing with amazingly well)

So, I’ve been having some weird moments since well.. forever. But they keep appearing in moments and then they’ll be gone for a while. It’s a bit strange, it’s not depression or anything but hear me out;

I sometimes feel like I’m watching myself from the air. That I’m being played like a sims character and I can not control my actions or emotions. I could suddenly be for a whole day completely not me where I can not control on what I do, it’s being done for me. 

Does anyone know what I’m talking about, is it normal or just something that comes with having anxiety? Or is it just when your body is tired or something
",3.253,5.0569983000000045,4.364444444444445,85.14500000000002,74.33333333333334,7.911111111111111,29.222222222222214,8.648137234880735,2.2904555555555555,714,31,142,14,15,233,103,180,0.101,0.763,0.135,0.8824,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,2,2,10,12,0,0,6,0,22,2,1,2,1,39,36,17,0,4,18,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,15,8,0,3,4,1,0,4,6,4,2,0,4,3,18,8,14,26,3,18,0,2,1,0,10,7,0,9,9,105,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22682461058806305,0.0,0.0,0.1036611824342,0.0,0.12199868997047204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185268870827374,0.1646744509037819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770589326196938,0.15543930692481048,0.0,0.3325542461485373,0.11836708669147067,0.0,0.0,0.09561021731424732,0.15284120939257412,0.2553783055311133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699095326943036,0.0,0.1297362454098887,0.15171317579657484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676344448161876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496062011946886,0.10591119405829062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16709067708359654,0.0,0.099370130193206,0.0,0.0,0.1472475975616123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177310928739278,0.0,0.0,0.16295074512283322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485678937276214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525539484603686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329854919112808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226355118664119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561336216690613,0.2282631263557937,0.14662492968760207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139725670596211,0.0,0.0,0.23831853899826103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849198143794703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703937616988793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665925426865074,0.0,0.0,0.16551796302804786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GenderBender46n2,2019/01/06,"How do i get my mom to take mental health more seriously? Going to try to keep it brief but little background info.
I recently came out as transgender to my mom and she is supportive all the way, but I'm very concerned about my brothers mental health.

Parents are split up, he lives with his opiate addicted dad due to no rent. His depression is obviously keeping him from getting up to go to jobs etc and he will never get help while living in the toxic environment he's in. 

My mom wants him to live with her but imposes extremely strict rules that he will never be able to fulfill without working on his mental health first such as needing to pay a rather steep rent considering the situation. She won't let him live there without a full time job but I know he's physically unable to get himself out of the bed in the morning to do something that makes him so miserable. I try to explain to her that he won't be able to fix his issues and have a full time job at the same time and she just is so stuck that he SHOULD have a job and I try to tell her that just cause he should have one doesnt mean he's not at risk of suicide or overdosing when he inevitably seeks narcotics when the pain gets too much.

To sum up the wall of text how do I get my mother who is unable to sympathize with things she doesn't see or feel to take this seriously and stop putting so much pressure on my brother
",5.804386042402829,5.484845734982333,6.277029593639576,81.56275287102476,66.91519434628975,9.477826855123675,31.115061837455826,9.017664075816787,2.3171203180212023,1105,38,231,17,16,359,153,283,0.145,0.826,0.029,-0.9881,7,0,1,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,2,14,8,0,3,12,0,22,5,0,4,4,45,46,22,1,5,12,8,1,0,0,6,5,0,3,0,9,12,0,3,5,0,3,5,10,7,0,2,2,2,28,1,43,35,8,34,0,2,1,0,38,16,0,2,12,154,37,6,0.18080477444906726,0.0,0.0,0.09855194596827184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339624751411414,0.0,0.09286815416324662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786344364857516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082255854719277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045710163268535074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689622439110738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833890966233134,0.0,0.10275551996706717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28828053064040765,0.0,0.0,0.060594814556067425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435660498484638,0.3588416800126584,0.16070759100790424,0.0,0.0,0.04968278779193035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244256588621227,0.0,0.0,0.09060694155825684,0.31930785667110245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034429545841754,0.0,0.0,0.09847470205547043,0.0,0.0,0.2733130303617965,0.0,0.0,0.31763454993152745,0.0,0.0,0.1329123128840459,0.06703222464250247,0.13944778831590438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612589972155146,0.0,0.09619451384912003,0.0,0.10038115261160978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090879368467553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926145115896937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203899818142287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161607095191992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959617434647973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558044367064923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888553872245466,0.10258755770564364,0.0,0.0,0.13594268895388614,0.0,0.07901567108075351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060059329084989774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581430769620972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18413186027072825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745914371641377,0.053321670230117836,0.07175720709407479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428935053547848,0.0,0.06581401458669582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BettyRubbles,2019/01/06,"Refusing Help: Crisis Hopeless Heartbreak I have a 28 (F) daughter that has been exhibiting signs of mental heath illness for about two years now, maybe longer but she has not  lived with me between the ages of 17-24. She appears to have characteristics of bipolar, BPD or simply narcissist traits  (Google, diagnosed).

Let me sum up the last year.  She broke up with a boyfriend of 10 years. She ended ALL friendships: childhood, high school, college and co workers.  She’s described as being mean and nasty by friends.  She says and does  such hurtful things not only does she burn bridges emotionally she torches them. She expresses little remorse over friendships lost other than to say she’s lonely. Damaged relationship with siblings too. She smokes pots daily, numerous times a day. 

After the break up she moved into her own place and spiraled into drug use. Tried rehab for a week. Detoxed and has stayed off them. She raged at rehab on the eight day she left got on a plane ( no money from us) came home. Rehab director described her as one of the rudest clients she’s come across in a lifetime of working with addicts.  

A year after the break up she began on  weekends obsessively calling the ex and his family, friends  and acquaintances. Yelling  expletive laced demands, wanting him back.  Explosive anger a frequent occurrence, we the parents get the brunt of it.  Walking on eggshells for a trigger can be??? Sees  a psychiatrist (infrequently) to get Lexapro but does not share events, what she’s feeling or her behavior. So basically she self medicates by omitting.  

She continues to live from bouts to bouts of explosive anger. Arrested for assault, Baker Acted by the police for acting erratic. (Baker Act,"" allows the involuntary institutionalization and examination of an individual.) She’s convincing after a brief discussion with the psychiatrist, Baker Act is lifted. Self harms, cuts and picks. She works but has left two jobs without notice in the last year. We believe she’s about to get fired from her current job. 

Her rage is directed at me but I have disengage so as to not trigger now her anger is focused on her father.  She lives with us but spends most of the time locked in her room. Watches horror movies, smoking pot.  Sometimes after smoking she rages at what appears to be the slightest trigger. I think there’s a correlation between the pot & rage. Also on Lexapro and to be honest when she started Lexapro it’s when the shit show debuts. She says she needs Lexapro for anxiety and depression.  

Rage, impulsivity poor financial decisions, ending friendships, blaming us-her parents for pretty much everything including climate change. She’s been living with us for a year we’ve done all we can to be supportive, loving, caring, financial support any limits or boundaries set we get crossed, ignored. Has caused significant property damage. 

Her life is spiraling, continues to call her ex, his friends so many times a day it is disruptive. Restraining order pending. 

We are blamed as her parents for not stopping her destructive behavior. We continue to  encourage Psychologist, psychiatrist, requested  friend support  talk to her family.  We’ve supported her financially when she lost her job. It’s taken it’s toll on us emotionally physically, financially, our saves retirement funds are depleted.  When she was hospitalized they did a drug screen.  No drugs found except pot. All that’s left is to evict her.  I am afraid she’ll end up homeless, jailed or dead. 

How do you help an adult with mental illness that refuses help. Watching her suffer is anguish, knowing that she is in that much pain is devastating. 

",5.360789661137684,8.36795602839117,5.372197008242598,74.75990739798516,72.31230283911671,8.380543400834437,32.93874020555612,9.11188708381993,3.5144078355551045,2918,144,454,68,62,912,337,634,0.228,0.655,0.117,-0.9984,8,2,4,0,1,1,99.0,11,1,3,6,17,44,12,3,34,0,35,17,1,8,3,76,64,33,1,2,16,7,2,0,4,1,15,4,2,3,14,29,0,6,7,2,4,12,8,29,0,4,12,10,74,15,86,45,7,89,0,11,4,1,99,31,1,7,41,295,88,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803623365216505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049909343646798915,0.0,0.06762132977406107,0.0,0.0424410159780657,0.0,0.04774356450068155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047989523424531284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703148239179558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860335070945419,0.0,0.12745540349309126,0.07138054135320811,0.06363126812635123,0.06411237620340951,0.0660216227191024,0.053760784918908254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074807664209895,0.0,0.053753737615106593,0.06334494948602028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384652753714662,0.06386721242873986,0.0,0.0,0.21712774644644214,0.0,0.0,0.14040595061218628,0.16583050355385456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056090184020897986,0.0,0.1176693975959938,0.0,0.03155642760639036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842946598248373,0.19287158942945332,0.0,0.13042682957978347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04991506746714123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254965466406967,0.06593970939016658,0.06260243047957834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681131519539744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579721698242785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034298965134498205,0.10174514133613934,0.0,0.0,0.20342630637857587,0.0638185674594883,0.04408210746380623,0.0,0.06255132748317586,0.22043708756843036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362560183075777,0.0,0.0563275623142401,0.0,0.0,0.06327405744266723,0.06269934552656092,0.06798290761331388,0.0,0.06287162149529155,0.12578942682581545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633207170063933,0.09175722595614604,0.046276306907932364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105432563461765,0.0,0.0,0.04229070676284653,0.04746570213009296,0.06640875891382382,0.0,0.20789712936432075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520528323949361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349352027172335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700510345691378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889307695449258,0.0,0.06316236479077611,0.049732778629425635,0.0,0.1302147149422212,0.0,0.06406308263380428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172519613104392,0.0,0.04417419816791855,0.06652087496728963,0.0,0.05217764778349573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832890199088791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05016288359923875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04146250494063471,0.039989879462103854,0.0,0.0,0.10917551377554233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04237236902529983,0.0,0.12193122085261965,0.0,0.3753583991143501,0.053902298166202185,0.0,0.0,0.03681110077387959,0.0,0.050061626953894385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060161120410212474,0.0,0.0908706089973914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411403937979328
mentalhealth,xBabyCianax,2019/01/06,"Is my appetite small because the way I see the world? I could only describe my feelings as depersonalization disorder/ derealization disorder. If you dont know what that is, please research it before continue reading. The world around me seems so small since time goes by extremely quickly. Since I feel so detached from everything. So, if I ate lunch, time feels like it goes by fast and boom its dinner time. In my head i think,”woah but I just ate!” So I dont feel hungry. Is my view on time why I barely eat? Or I just dont need to eat much because of my size? (I’m 5”0 114Lb)",1.8740144927536235,4.22219853913044,3.333586956521738,88.23139492753626,81.0,6.268115942028986,23.49637681159421,7.492282038375204,1.0368115942028986,452,16,94,7,12,148,76,115,0.032,0.928,0.04,0.2231,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,8,1,0,0,3,0,7,7,1,0,0,16,18,10,0,4,6,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,6,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,7,16,1,9,15,1,15,0,0,2,0,1,7,0,4,8,53,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287360397485034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17630922490514964,0.0,0.12305483014562987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546154283558943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33147756417277696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5084553265601819,0.0,0.0,0.2959499665887408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996864789292262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924822800941697,0.10331140362864842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841443982230468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079475405553962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065050284959973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630703749770616,0.10722854886803407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998454069678114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874141326143945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446519208550819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523766782466342,0.13165004962714993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392503828946307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926620344328723,0.0,0.0,0.33729951520301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478689881704912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049054680951316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlackScorpionVoid,2019/01/06,"Disassociation ? What is going on with me ?  

I just got out of a episode of sorts.

I didn't really self harm at all. I was feeling down and of course started to break down. I cried hard, and then the disassociation kicked in stopping me. Those who do not know, when I disassociate, which also am not 100% that is actually what's happening, I stop completely. I stop thinking, moving, breathing, blinking, everything just comes to a halt.

But during this disassociation I started shaking as if about to have a panic attack. I try to snap out of it, but I started feeling heavy, like I had weights on me. I managed to slap myself while turning over onto my back, which probably looked weird. But that caused me to stop all over again. After a moment I tried to get up but the heaviness kept me down, all the while still fighting this disassociation attack. I manage to sit up but I felt the shaking coming back. Still sitting there disassociating I imagined someone coming over to me and shaking my head to help me snap out of it.

When suddenly my head shakes side to side and I fall back onto my back and into another smaller breakdown. Except this time I started strangling myself. I do not think it was intended to be of harm more so to shock my body out of what ever was going on.

Does anyone have any ideas of what is going on with me?",3.7065411931818213,5.773115492187504,5.080994318181818,79.36002840909094,73.765625,7.154545454545455,26.87073863636364,8.00094639256281,1.7522796875000002,1050,39,196,16,22,350,135,256,0.131,0.8009999999999999,0.068,-0.907,0,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,0,0,0,0,16,13,3,5,8,0,14,5,4,2,4,48,36,19,0,1,12,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,16,15,1,6,8,0,0,12,4,12,0,0,8,6,34,1,48,27,4,63,0,0,1,0,4,23,0,2,26,156,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.10869450786396727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907357344878457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574479401525333,0.11679561138687415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788213299633616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534302729960912,0.0,0.3425890245945016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372227660559346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442183033189983,0.0,0.28784180721914715,0.11678378049045292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223498587776561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747270175961928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075301130899787,0.0,0.0,0.10010456481853064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263797785324504,0.0,0.10694590190191017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581934310060401,0.0,0.18990591732883327,0.0,0.08908378879313528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849631413843264,0.0,0.09977799428042283,0.0,0.2286237973859362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465820390851725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573873675029193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121361586611404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05441649164340244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353432754442564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838333724542778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068487393242534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200905601708244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135530547762332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161975807335868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437512045176416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153520681736015,0.0,0.17790247081260732,0.3724873302377008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427404652196508,0.0,0.0,0.06494878136055715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124455858541924,0.12115357454464655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563544442160258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thr0wawayforareas0n,2019/01/06,"Are adults that were born prematurely as children have trouble adjusting in adulthood? I’m a 25 year old Black female that lives in TX. I was born prematurely as a baby (1 pound winter baby). I currently live with my aging parents and older brother with IDD ( was born premature too). I’m known as the “odd duck” of the family. The one that gets things wrong, doesn’t socialize, and makes mistakes (situational, social, etc.) that end up with me being screamed at by my family members. At times, I feel like I’m the screwup of the family and an embarrassment. I guess my question is : are adults that were born prematurely as children have trouble adjusting in adulthood? Or I am just an adult having trouble being an adult?
",5.405714285714282,7.173949909774437,6.187977443609022,74.3866278195489,68.69924812030075,9.229774436090226,31.34511278195489,9.642632912329526,3.171090827067669,570,24,98,13,10,187,80,133,0.173,0.7859999999999999,0.041,-0.9494,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,1,10,0,14,0,0,1,0,16,21,8,0,1,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,6,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,4,3,9,1,16,15,1,18,0,0,1,0,11,6,0,3,13,63,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675561850703963,0.0,0.21098426780945875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5350225514717217,0.0,0.09565443951859733,0.13514930759971105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883806745535537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20840167629916465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242316149353948,0.0,0.3340965321467529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627825733873285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985112319441423,0.0,0.12819238928763413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21006056869422413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119234498032446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21264479533545594,0.0,0.3856877402358522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256819282779123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031162662657887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068372206586103,0.0,0.12182488620989144
mentalhealth,youngsteryona,2019/01/06,(Not) ugly? How to know if you are ugly or you just think that you’re ugly?,-1.6647058823529406,0.08726047058823383,1.6073529411764724,98.67808823529413,91.35294117647058,3.4000000000000004,8.5,3.1291,-2.1467411764705893,56,0,14,0,2,20,13,17,0.441,0.5589999999999999,0.0,-0.8823,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,3,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6510312515317983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7590509268349129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amberknightot,2019/01/06,"Celebrate your victories (no matter how small) with those closest to you. My friend told me about a girl from college who couldn't join her and a group of others for drinks one night. The girl said she was celebrating. My friend asked ""Celebrating what?"". The girl replied, ""I've lived one year longer than I thought I would.""

Next week my boyfriend and I are celebrating his recent victories in his battle against depression. Now there still a long road ahead of recovery but he's much better now than he was this time last year. 

Looking back at what improvements you've made really makes the future more hopeful. It's makes further improvements more plausible. Because when you're in a constant battle it is easy to forget your past victories. So I highly recommend starting off the new year with a celebration of your own mental health. Be it because you've made it to 2019 alive or because you've booked your first appointment with a psychologist! No victory to too small to toast to!

​

So congrats guys! I'm proud of you all.",4.187153485808763,6.961066497382197,4.022672912648115,84.12686690548364,75.12565445026178,7.790686139432349,27.33011848994213,8.6894789155246,2.2850670157068063,835,33,151,18,19,254,123,191,0.066,0.698,0.236,0.9895,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,6,0,4,11,8,2,0,10,0,7,2,0,5,1,19,19,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,4,10,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,0,3,7,2,18,5,24,9,5,32,0,1,1,0,23,10,0,2,22,93,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16036548831227268,0.17984466664985466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836653588486328,0.0,0.0,0.11380822269484965,0.0,0.2706710223670488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309001357992865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15994295228940927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747818491678048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499048208895354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258946516233515,0.0,0.0,0.22869963311696734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655016823564368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732448618099776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15637748815137442,0.0,0.14700431527629496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064543338831245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069286461890414,0.1309815094344602,0.1242885768613131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800955441212841,0.19759160126131292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915621243210667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880215159774427,0.0,0.0,0.14294605227026422,0.15740708988545318,0.1388945134789822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005867043359008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128939857626585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481705382556747,0.0,0.14613902549879695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078852010438728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476009394773428,0.0,0.11819855606973904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750100028839225,0.08630405345402324,0.0,0.0,0.14142700090630067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872226232450747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513990375024404,0.0,0.17984466664985466,0.28593490495104784
mentalhealth,mrgo0dtimes,2019/01/06,"am I losing my mind or have I already lost it? (15M) please forgive my writing style

 third time trying to write this out it's just not going to make sense try to bear it ok

in my mind that place where I can hear my voice things have changed normally there are these destructive mes who always want me to do something like killing people burning things and other bad things luckily there are also other mes who beat up the bad mes trap them in caves drown them burn them the works I don't know if they're good I just know id crash this car which is my body if they quit their job so here is where the problem lyes bad mes and the other mes kinda just went quite in a morbid way but I can feel them staring at me its not an awkward silence but their united silence 

I have no idea what caused this but things have gone out of control because its just me alone to make decisions on what to do  without any distractions I imagined this would be good before but its worse much worse its like someone turned off autopilot and I have no clue what to do for a little it was fine took it step by step one objective at a time but the silence leaves only my thoughts I usually like to read and listen to phycological things Pascal's Wager and determinism it was just a past time but its occurred to me that i am ill equiped on making me the super loud me almost spliting off to another me wholl drive me crazy whith this free yourself from reality the onlt thing you have to lose are the chains it puts on your mind see without eyes bullshit I now see the value in the other mes but they just keep staring as if to fuck me over on purpose how can i teach them a lesson theyll never forget let em know whos boss while stopping this kid me from being born also by the way this is the internet no one will track you down so if you can hear others thoughts please let yourself be known so I know that and can be right for censoring my vocal thoughts and switch to below voice thoughts",4.1272474299893664,5.064709848635236,4.399889223679548,89.15280086848637,70.86104218362283,7.146721020914569,25.80724920241049,7.1686216300943375,0.9821308755760364,1571,46,333,14,28,491,209,403,0.133,0.747,0.12,-0.7107,2,1,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,4,10,10,18,22,3,2,18,1,35,4,2,7,1,68,62,27,2,8,22,0,1,3,0,4,1,6,0,1,41,9,0,3,15,1,2,9,9,12,0,3,10,12,45,11,42,42,1,44,0,3,5,1,25,23,1,7,13,227,86,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520970118081841,0.08813208504775451,0.09390373289325332,0.13609984431307634,0.07080531722033398,0.0,0.0,0.05786707703452242,0.08922884706845137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131506873451397,0.051872726861552865,0.0,0.07240902563746225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452064137610053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741533931577826,0.0900185407862283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544055093486108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04302626092120584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866835677626254,0.0,0.0,0.04836108096162243,0.14274620954009787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918150372353327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606116513152607,0.0,0.0,0.08444301359702465,0.07563576946884666,0.09414429216560813,0.0,0.18706252071516646,0.0,0.0,0.09010263159168592,0.0,0.17402947946956224,0.0,0.1247184055940435,0.0852868952984369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039762608875704,0.09289053673805632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704034211985053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577631120482279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625541394393403,0.0,0.06563000978269604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337439723547797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532426968076433,0.06471808881953556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123218714016221,0.05899370895700051,0.0,0.0889054859155047,0.18681608920140005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142380214916263,0.0,0.08554332648229583,0.0,0.18101663459727504,0.08511737924718722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267011123948228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561836189676374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210016789041372,0.06550978912408806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114268813282393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391974360864478,0.0,0.0,0.2702216398615573,0.14885760202342846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454295555170593,0.11554695786686435,0.09255821898163713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371940614571543,0.0,0.05019085323755112,0.1350878708207078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888331637096965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405583650778618,0.0,0.061949701366051886,0.0,0.17343682799926816,0.06044858583447296,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Christ1455,2019/01/06,"can someone help me out.3rd time asking this but got no response?  

I dont know I have been taking the medication for ocd for 6 weeks and havent really noticed much difference.. I might not even have ocd I feel like I have alot of psychotic tendencies I had a few psychotic episodes too if I get really depressed or angry anxious I start to lose control. Like yesterday for example I got stuck on a thought that caused me to become angry for example and then I started to hallucinate someone a puppet dancing on the wall,I also saw someone starring at me when I was looking at my neighbors window,I felt like my brain was on autopilot,like I kind of was aware but not in control of what I was thinking.I just kept pacing around,blurting things out and acting very paranoid.every sound startled me.the night before I was convinced there were aliens watching me.I always feel like im watched when im home alone.I get paranoid thinking that ghosts will come after me in my dreams and these legends or something will get me.I also always fantasize over violence it seems and talk to myself and pretend im talking to others or I feel like im talking to others.I think im psychotic,Im going back to the psychologist or whatever on the 9th I think.I also hallucionate pretty often like see things run across the field of vision or I will see a plant and then I will mistake it for something else.I have trouble telling whats real and fake.I Can still be fairly normal around people and feel normal emotions and make friends and such but its really hard with my brain like this.sometimes I hear voices in my head telling me im worthless ,that usually happens before a psychotic break.I feel alone and [scared](https://scared.my/) . I learn to deal with it on my own but I keep getting these psychotic episodes,its like a mix of ocd paranoia and psychosis anger and worry .",5.552689075630255,6.898394610644258,5.745586554621848,79.30382521008404,67.8795518207283,8.51312044817927,32.48728291316527,8.841846274778883,2.8018316862745096,1504,65,265,25,25,477,184,357,0.16899999999999998,0.711,0.12,-0.9621,0,2,3,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,3,14,18,1,1,12,0,22,4,3,4,0,57,55,31,1,4,13,0,7,8,2,5,1,3,2,0,15,19,0,4,12,3,0,5,5,7,0,0,15,16,33,11,35,34,4,33,0,3,6,0,11,14,0,10,22,162,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499542008605288,0.0,0.1737199056230478,0.12050264115249078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818032323008244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892135936834853,0.06769402470326549,0.0,0.0,0.05567918998095472,0.0,0.0,0.07997168686580945,0.12323197148372952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166808795893292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438551000352937,0.0,0.062375217410369076,0.0,0.0,0.1624290224547819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465202600767222,0.06236704087225772,0.0,0.0,0.07565354048500196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486454402651487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814520445372481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047826439544088495,0.0,0.06100895297873912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306457351879965,0.1551901855153851,0.0695254168954083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594415772152523,0.0,0.15132595001087568,0.0,0.04115254484864698,0.0,0.11582655238432485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640323488918402,0.0,0.06486556778675555,0.0,0.07431404356217162,0.0,0.08161187431620946,0.0,0.04853521882645746,0.0,0.07263361607296473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5475102135544728,0.0,0.0,0.06436176225462545,0.0,0.07540437276296763,0.039794906462806166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830088259735725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060806566693152674,0.08100880595402049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048334558104682436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729459412772071,0.0,0.07681607702707717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323003492806142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795233086140186,0.14189379365546795,0.0,0.0824398121435843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05020030994690869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366749084992426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241897964150313,0.13916402422547705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540355610920927,0.06591978202840447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18405949579951364,0.11149025130740163,0.0716158168854675,0.0,0.1025050217852586,0.0,0.057827103376594226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444366984677272,0.1746024044377231,0.12657990340329378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621261162580183,0.1391931365637045,0.0,0.05748583330003695,0.042223133571617534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974991435077151,0.05974622996810325,0.0,0.0,0.058083319837610864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353635797964146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tickmypick,2019/01/06,"I want nothing I don't want to die, but I don't want to be alive either.

I can't die, I know that's only passing my pain on to the people who love me, that's selfish.

I don't want to be alive, I know it requires me to actually GTFO of bed and stop staring at my ceiling.  Day in and day out I spend doing nothing and watching everyone else's lives unfurl, but mines remains stagnant. Because I am stagnant. 

There's no passion in me to change it though, I have no reason, I would be a perfectly content human being if my life could be this forever,me, my thoughts and my bed. 


I don't know what's going on with me, so comments, help? 

I am considering I'm just suffering lazy asshat syndrome

",1.5901644562334205,3.322267358620689,3.8151724137931033,87.57591511936344,78.86206896551724,6.116710875331565,27.015915119363395,7.010146845296331,1.2995782493368695,537,23,113,6,13,185,84,145,0.15,0.616,0.233,0.9092,0,0,0,0,0,3,18.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,2,0,16,4,0,1,1,25,27,9,2,7,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,1,7,6,0,2,5,0,1,2,7,3,0,0,1,2,23,3,14,19,1,11,0,1,2,2,5,6,0,1,3,76,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.17375122109949884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085376930657573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883534053677184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215852294660006,0.0,0.0,0.2296551795251077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36957580265666656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873801811061724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013450809776098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118997938454782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193432340706196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935550483736677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576205665104415,0.0,0.0,0.15722150714739466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069717375910214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416877607937382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354151301674386,0.18945786808180715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343752609488047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830651649414065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488578626113542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493332682673252,0.14135189714095028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42007426661376907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648168801829407,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hopeful_Lingonberry,2019/01/06,"Kind of venting but advice would be helpful. Hey guys, just need somewhere to vent cause I don't have anyone to talk to. 

My (27M) brother (22M) suffers from bad OCD which is accompanied by depression and anxiety. We grew up in a dysfunctional family where our parents screamed and threw shit at each other on a nearly daily basis. My brother was the youngest and seemed to be the most affected by this. 

Fast forward to today and my parents are thankfully split up and my brother lives with my mother. My mother is a kind person at heart but is utterly horrible in stressful situations and her default is to revert to screaming under pressure. Anyway, my brother abuses marijuana and alcohol regularly and generally spends his entire day laying in bed with occasional gaming mixed in. This is obviously extremely unhealthy but has been going on for years and he refuses to help himself. My mother lacks the strength of will to make him do anything and he refuses to interact with my father who will demand he do things like get a job. There have been a few times where we have got him to start a job or to start college but every time he just lies about going to class or the job until he has some sort of breakdown, says he can't do it, and the cycle continues. He is very manipulative. For example he will threaten suicide to my mom but the few times she's called the police and had him taken to the hospital, he will maintain an incredibly straight face and claim he never said any of things to the medical professionals. 

So he scheduled to start school and move into the dorms again a week from today which I guess is triggering all of his anxieties. Today I woke up to a dramatic call from my mom (a regular thing) about how he was hungover and was being verbally abusive to her. She started blaming me for not doing enough to help and she is partially right. She wants me to be a sort of father figure since my dad is out of the picture. This is problematic though because I also want to just be his friend and support him and he resents me when I try to tell him to get shit together.

This is mostly just venting but I guess what I am wondering is how do you approach this? What is the proper blend of sympathy for my brothers problems and not just letting him walk over us whenever he has to do anything?

Cheers",6.370471077819393,6.821910804494388,7.0130586766541825,74.13775697045361,65.67415730337079,10.008322929671245,34.23429047024553,9.906371001090498,3.4033104452767367,1848,79,331,38,27,610,237,445,0.18,0.733,0.087,-0.9948,5,0,1,0,1,1,31.0,4,1,0,1,18,19,3,2,23,0,46,6,4,7,3,71,69,34,1,6,15,15,0,1,1,5,2,4,2,2,15,27,1,2,3,1,1,8,5,11,0,0,11,4,44,8,64,47,9,48,0,2,0,0,68,21,2,11,22,247,59,8,0.0,0.2184936933379112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010083340651848,0.0,0.09853820091760168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373562966308465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270198740400439,0.0,0.1410718528270464,0.0,0.0,0.06447128922351894,0.0,0.15175232698062988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769866182866902,0.05620679724922087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18830150316209124,0.0,0.0,0.09471906627363892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946405229462892,0.0,0.07941530383255879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527154012612918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768597755401997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692187163608342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071236701645208,0.0,0.096345731092799,0.0,0.10480349257974964,0.0,0.0737440859854119,0.0,0.2031465444534037,0.0912966100415056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926236794970172,0.1854075051072716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744951903355027,0.0,0.0,0.19203287792794124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428499579403364,0.0,0.045046292856874406,0.0,0.0814179583685892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154698962482402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928859860731065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21597678455613248,0.0,0.09799842507079776,0.0,0.06836821282376049,0.07111352875598469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20476360561942136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050911190837348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822692415753318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874184481215901,0.08770726620813737,0.07332444508058752,0.0,0.09331552768588726,0.0,0.08393920001887495,0.0,0.0,0.1892924807663645,0.07627223005711366,0.1036413337347332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610503027107844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105619548345214,0.0,0.0,0.1008563805337641,0.1046321827403909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741102073808403,0.08059049577530979,0.08488919816070545,0.0,0.0,0.18376903115630608,0.0,0.09059011441421444,0.0,0.16129495328570015,0.0,0.2621962741629222,0.0,0.0,0.06260056899380717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091024600079752,0.0,0.0,0.07607808450436564,0.10876879942008066,0.0,0.07396061169481254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999147323266652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654991864427818,0.0,0.0,0.05937645296682233
mentalhealth,licuri,2019/01/06,"GAD: Anything more i [M26] can do  A week ago one thought led to another and like someone flipped a switch i started feeling terribly afraid of dying, time passing, growing old, losing my parents (dad is 56) nothingness after death, etc. Since then i cant get those thoughts away from my head and keep feeling anxious all the time. Went to psychiatrist, got diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and got perscribed nexpram along with atarax just in case. Also got directed to a psychologist for a therapy. Im still waiting to get my date of therapy. Is there anything more i can do until meds kick in and the therapy starts to not worry that much? Its killing me... Everything reminds me of things mentioned above... ",5.941162790697675,8.023086100775195,5.9975891472868215,75.03917441860466,67.83720930232559,9.50108527131783,38.48139534883721,9.888512548439397,4.316996279069767,573,33,94,14,10,181,95,129,0.152,0.778,0.07,-0.9231,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,1,6,0,7,2,1,1,1,18,21,7,3,0,2,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,2,4,0,0,4,3,4,0,1,6,2,9,1,18,15,5,19,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,13,61,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031314489332455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854024528697402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232082330976015,0.10383022142008896,0.15333204679143242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233823033533121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12751929404145534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775930221724325,0.14086243491976552,0.0,0.15555405875310965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137066337598726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198201553007708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725455566065856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182274340027345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256580794614509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929430517894845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466076572182371,0.0,0.0,0.12063974080283164,0.1501610029842168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630899740457269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184297338498642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076128340079742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977442182583343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142421883768635,0.0,0.09197162995937863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070795544385296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122741691745296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500042410122906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921354982518909,0.0,0.108391170756508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4656444389373367,0.0,0.09017049970276472,0.0,0.0,0.2155029876812562,0.15828615350249228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887142310454316,0.0,0.0,0.12581960767360534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783661067500724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bwfrieds,2019/01/06,"Could my health record penalize me somehow in the future? I want to see a professional about my outlook on life but if I bill my medical insurance, do I run a risk of losing an opportunity for a new job?  Does HIPAA protect me?  Can my insurance provider disclose that information to state, federal, or local governments?  Can employers request that information?  Do the laws differ by state in the USA? ",4.580773809523809,7.373661402777778,6.121428571428575,69.49500000000002,73.8611111111111,10.225396825396826,33.8968253968254,10.290406445055957,4.501715873015874,319,17,52,11,7,108,54,72,0.079,0.8,0.121,0.4871,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,7,0,5,3,0,0,0,9,7,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,9,1,9,6,0,9,0,1,1,0,3,4,0,3,2,36,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619456460749935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427743765365828,0.0,0.0,0.28710552547278345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3487343136085736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32556935087334643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317330153574557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670382480033072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305066673928605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168622674805657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26143774463060904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351042569736848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lordkeravrium,2019/01/06,"I (15M) can’t tell if my worries are real or not I have generalized anxiety disorder and I have a hard time knowing as to whether my worries are real or not. I worry about everything from whether my personality is changing in ways I don’t like, to questioning my sexuality, to worrying about having s certain disease. I get worried about everything. I’m sick and tired of it. I need help with this badly and I just simply have no clue as to what to do.

Sorry for formatting confusion as I’m on mobile.",3.5186999999999986,5.17522207,6.041,74.01550000000002,73.3,9.4,32.5,9.827888789773867,3.5177,397,20,74,11,8,142,66,100,0.282,0.615,0.103,-0.9475,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,10,2,0,0,1,20,15,11,0,2,8,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,12,2,17,15,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,5,2,55,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176221184165562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219831535420246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545490509900419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167437432275674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626013827975312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763285644347061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087234991881666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792434350569937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028994582624067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137459704486199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083275300029175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756444662733055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365974274880166,0.0,0.0,0.3325760002303414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354129893058955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769339709894845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518912113156507,0.1679146159855806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596334518010645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7418324005815634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UnicornsLikeWeed,2019/01/06,"Advice please! So im just going to explain everything to a bunch of strangers on the internet things i dont even talk to some of my best friends about.

So guys my mom has paranoid schizophrenia and was diagnosed when i was 15/16. So flash forward to now, my family and i are convinced shes off her meds. Shes been on leave for 2 and a half weeks now and has clearly missed at least one injection. She takes them every 2 weeks. I need to convince her to go back on the meds!

I personally believe shes been off the meds for a month but i didn't have enough proof until 45 minutes ago. My aunt told me shes been stalking her ex. (Im going to explain that in the paragraph below)
So she had a full mental breakdown when i was 15/16 and it was awful! Talking to herself for hours, not bathing, believing people were in the ceiling, we slept in the car for 3 nights and much more but the WORST thing she did was psychotically stalk her ex that she dated when i was 6. It had been 10 years and she drove 7 hours to a different province, drove to his work in pajamas and barefooted and demanded to see him. Luckily not dragging me along. My aunt took me in 6 months before that and made my life happy. I finally had a normal home. I'm now staying with her for a bit before i start uni in 2 weeks. 

I need her to take her meds, things are getting bad again. She's stalking the same ex and contacting him. He now has a wife and child and last time she rocked up in PJ's he threatened to throw her in jail. 

I'm leaving soon like i said so please help. I feel like my life has been so long and stressful even though im just starting college 

Sorry for the rant. Any advice? Please?",2.5468012422360253,4.0390850289855065,3.5805745341614923,91.33744565217393,75.52173913043478,6.667701863354037,24.7851966873706,7.310402129719878,0.9132587991718432,1305,43,288,15,28,420,180,345,0.101,0.7909999999999999,0.109,-0.4037,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,1,2,22,11,0,1,17,1,29,4,1,1,2,34,53,27,0,3,6,7,1,2,1,0,3,1,2,3,8,17,0,0,3,2,0,9,4,4,0,2,24,3,48,7,41,29,11,55,0,1,1,0,46,18,0,1,31,190,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351684016581406,0.07870140765026143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037597164818453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826919758911579,0.07413069466231888,0.0,0.0,0.15109680678538415,0.20005769030183676,0.09317303279984562,0.0,0.09692882348422346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901136032228875,0.0,0.09276008694547122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405385434734406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173731238328656,0.0,0.11728161463326275,0.0,0.0748041102436167,0.0,0.07979307945732013,0.0,0.08369738623583327,0.0,0.044891714643826616,0.06342710470743393,0.0,0.09725822155864684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859407902223177,0.0,0.046385827385360914,0.0,0.15137349608686193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790983775243584,0.0,0.094511916991754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950985359571105,0.0,0.08905730649086897,0.0,0.17486815299377287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877049470931697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237057863819839,0.0,0.1880182725372848,0.0,0.0,0.12542112902304225,0.08675047834955149,0.0,0.0,0.07857079511800921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400929912031832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944747760794696,0.0,0.08947310393796737,0.0,0.0,0.10398241555732844,0.14173263070503422,0.0,0.06526624710995929,0.13166400141316073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331750343000356,0.08698919146496055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601621439461987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155145001162245,0.07752251657799993,0.0,0.2923735779410323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445364552486402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707491270724403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938610163514004,0.12568314281382525,0.09463162859044623,0.0,0.0,0.101701447121554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350861086582858,0.14272197628558528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695186826245468,0.0,0.08722955054418424,0.0,0.05177049898926996,0.0,0.0,0.08483664572459085,0.0986419756525806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21365082573841385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463560291906345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717380244737954
mentalhealth,Ryanx1324,2019/01/06,Can you tell me whats wrong with me. For a couple years now i have been getting extreme anxiety towards everbody ecen my own family i have been a shy person all my life. When im at work i dont talk at all because i cant think of what to say because im extremely anxious. When im shopping i get a feeling that makes my anxiety pour over me making me feel helpless and confused and disoriented. I have a hard time looking anybody in the eye. I feel like everyone is there to judge me and i know there not i just feel it. I have a fulltime job and have 2 kids and a girlfriend (who i am not shy around and makes me feel 100% comfortable).im looking to see a doctor to help me get on medication but i want to be able to find the perfect med for me that will change my life around,1.4541818181818194,3.2114387818181847,3.2890909090909126,91.0736363636364,79.36363636363637,6.33939393939394,25.54545454545455,7.3011,1.0936545454545459,609,24,136,8,15,204,97,165,0.106,0.8190000000000001,0.075,0.0909,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,8,5,0,1,9,0,14,5,1,3,3,29,31,9,0,1,4,0,6,1,1,1,4,1,0,2,6,9,0,0,8,1,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,11,25,2,18,27,3,13,0,1,4,0,9,8,0,1,6,90,31,3,0.12381326625556464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894336195873889,0.13987374882369313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22044011380850687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095083583240593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309780186451519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699702414582088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672812442987666,0.0,0.0,0.1451082259384311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830888180815173,0.0,0.0,0.11672012832723508,0.0,0.3130185379560734,0.08845222215203574,0.0,0.0,0.11316308229114333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19406196424326366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109123671610645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298942249946371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5349582960766848,0.0,0.1228655620582552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804453313741267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749059430991974,0.060488907842821314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079439209734862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479389499540748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752862710705718,0.12472883993623207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081089683940508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984612788270502,0.0,0.0,0.09866314304806413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951641345305308,0.10821825199797896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933454165599196,0.0,0.0,0.07219651123353177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730282723286465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013753244293517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537037011830133,0.0,0.07973168409119423
mentalhealth,tentimesone10x1,2019/01/06,"Going off of Wellbutrin (or any meds) experiences?? I’ve been on Wellbutrin for two years now, and it’s helped me a lot.

A new doctor messed up my stuff (it’s in my post history ifbyoure really curious), and my new psychiatrist remedied it by doubling the dosage. 

It’s week #3 and I’m still have weird, random panic attacks, weird thoughts, and suicidal ideation. I know it’s probably because my brain chemicals are screwed rn, but at this point I’m seriously considering stopping the meds. 

I talked briefly to my psychiatrist and he said I could just quit?? He said there’s no withdrawal symptoms??

Anyone have experience with this?? ",5.478582375478929,7.450570000000003,6.01770114942529,74.87519157088123,68.82758620689654,9.983141762452108,34.440613026819925,10.25414643259724,3.9017463601532567,504,25,89,14,9,163,83,116,0.184,0.8059999999999999,0.01,-0.9424,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,2,1,4,0,5,4,1,0,0,15,12,7,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,8,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,7,0,1,4,2,9,0,10,7,2,15,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,3,7,51,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109559007491288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140868139021108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562057355200048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946217137947803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821429920679881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13027175143479305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700344004240694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192079077881119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927288464232803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936419288847088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966968588188495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871467980484606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624728754491569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151661664685616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143570313939412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424103113846166,0.0,0.15626429903335345,0.0,0.1759164632824529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17354309887066102,0.0,0.0,0.10452589244489294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104092590132481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030155505164734,0.13641091701906075,0.0,0.0,0.18678169907896874,0.17847298007185688,0.0,0.0,0.16958801428405462,0.0,0.1311436073256064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953257270476382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938577490858605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087888646461604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507111648268597
mentalhealth,icecoldcokezero,2019/01/06,"Anxie-tips. Or not really. Just a story of my anxiety and how im not taking shit from it anymore Eight years ago, i was diagnosed with chronic anxiety. That time, i shrugged it off thinking, ""hey, this is normal, right? Everyone gets anxious sometimes. This will go away, right?"" Wrong. Here i am, eight years later, cringing at past me for even thinking that anxiety goes away like a seasonal flu.

I spent some time going through therapy sessions, and while those helped, they didnt really cure me of my anxiety*, because for people like me, anxiety is ever-present -- an annoying, unwanted companion i am eternally cuffed with.

I struggled battling anxiety for a long time. It was hard to be a fully-functional human when every speedbump looked like a giant boulder in the middle of the road. Instead of looking for ways around it, my focus was on the speedbump-boulder and how impossible it was to conquer it. Anxiety paralyzed me and made me feel like i was always bound to fail.

The smallest tasks would sometimes trigger anxiety and panic. I would cross the road planning my funeral because what if the bus hits me? I would get invited to parties, and yes i craved to socialize, but i would bail because what if i spill the drink and make a mess of myself? Public speaking was the worst subject ever, because that triggered so much what-ifs. I was sweating with just the thought of mispronouncing words and forgetting my lines. There were days when i thought i was perfectly fine, then i would be attacked by constant panic and pressure that took away my ability to function, and i would shut myself in, because anxiety was crippling that way.

I quit a lot of things in my life -- school, jobs, relationships -- some, i didnt even get to start, all because i worried i wasnt good enough. I was scared of taking a course i wanted because what if i couldnt find a job after i graduated? I couldnt take these programs because what if i fail them and i had to retake them? I resigned from my teaching job because i feared no one would take my subjects the following year, that i might not be a good enough instructor. I was scared to build relationships and would stop talking to people i really liked or wanted to be friends with, because what if they dont understand me?

Because that was what i felt, that no one understood me. I craved validation and support, but instead, some of the people i cared about left me for being ""over-dramatic"" and a ""cry-baby,"" only because they didnt understand what i was going through. Well, same. How could i blame them when i myself couldnt understand it?

After years of battling anxiety, i got fed up with it and i internally told it to fuck off. It didnt. But i knew i had to do something about it, or else, i wouldnt be able to really live. I knew that there was only so much i could do to help myself. So i did. I read self-help books, which, if i would be honest, really didnt help that much because they all say the same things i already knew (still good reminders, though). I started reaching out to my fellow anxious people and asked for advice, because, you know, it takes one to know one, and they were the best people to talk to if i wanted to really get myself. Little by little, i gained confidence about who i was and what i was capable of. It took years and a lot of hard work, but i learned so much, and i couldnt be any more thankful to the people who helped me and made me feel a little better about myself.

Fast forward to a few years later. I cant say that i dont get anxious anymore. After all, anxiety is already a big chunk of who i am. Maybe i just learned a few tricks to manage it somehow. Or maybe it just doesnt scare me as much as it did before.

The fact is, there is no one-size-fits-all approach in managing anxiety. Some people fight their anxiety. Some people try to ignore it. If it works for you, then it must be for you. But if there's one thing i realized for myself, it's that fighting my anxiety is a losing battle, so i embrace it instead. I take a break. I breathe. I ground myself to my surroundings. This way, i know that i have control of the environment im in. I recognize the situation and try as much as possible to think logically. I acknowledge the facts, and while i cant really do anything about my emotions, i talk about the situation to the people who care to listen. If im alone, i express what upsets me through writing. I walk. I go for a run. Not to try to escape the situation, but to shake off the excess nerves. I look back to what makes me anxious and assess what i can do about it. If i need to take a break and feel the emotions as they happen, i allow myself a few hours, or maybe a few days to let it run its course. I think to myself, ""it will pass."" It always does.

To my fellow anxious people, you got this. It is a hard road, and you may sometimes feel alone, but youre not. Be kind to yourselves. If you need to cry, do it. If you need to rest, take as much break as you need. If it's too much to bear alone, seek help.

To everyone else, anxiety thrives in a person's inability to take control of a situation. When someone feels lost, it is important that they feel secured, heard, and validated. This is why it is important to show kindness and compassion to everyone.


(*Disclaimer: Im not saying that people should ditch therapy like i did. It just didnt work for me, but im sure it helps others. Please, please go/continue going to therapy if you feel that it helps.)",3.6004682878738064,5.218195457169461,4.7634630299047025,83.41576306276703,73.01303538175047,7.8846576843027725,28.09153247891335,8.530946873714473,2.069250599189396,4267,166,835,76,85,1404,375,1074,0.157,0.726,0.118,-0.9787,3,3,2,0,3,0,176.0,0,10,11,16,42,53,10,10,49,1,88,10,3,12,9,169,166,80,1,42,39,0,11,6,4,16,4,6,0,2,77,35,2,6,30,4,1,16,26,29,1,7,48,20,141,24,117,84,30,92,0,5,3,1,58,33,2,30,45,612,218,19,0.0333872152404929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03262560032390152,0.02959575184140258,0.0,0.0,0.10373725779560164,0.07368724448716862,0.0,0.05556167534827721,0.0,0.0,0.02270445125992981,0.0,0.3831169241122547,0.188590249643842,0.06622229221242013,0.0,0.0,0.027474833367822426,0.029721700064723838,0.03121253930709677,0.03798277727094835,0.0941051632750851,0.02567270765013361,0.0,0.28493551130346945,0.0,0.028410061085061982,0.0,0.03503782256740785,0.02952827869694825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808098215786919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03607971864946008,0.07489320172949653,0.05331394925420716,0.0,0.03667428819883229,0.04306398354943044,0.0,0.0,0.033887320673740645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029217377049428468,0.0,0.07825913521370705,0.032706760290090085,0.0,0.0,0.05578146835909037,0.07511224669847746,0.0,0.0689958366172618,0.0,0.04410388156803857,0.060401295278343176,0.028130168818901,0.09570874481990174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03756989934391496,0.11817105439416326,0.023851833238889168,0.032056962445394965,0.0,0.030515309869407512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02579487967423651,0.030865942495416767,0.0872172097833321,0.0,0.1138483429790956,0.0840108362940824,0.05340561201595754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02952420417419627,0.0,0.08972516081424209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902997282727895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03287968166952431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031960867316255,0.0,0.09939497818309284,0.0,0.0,0.06953529381973858,0.05504622103519244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03627530704846889,0.034140689636443816,0.0235823775016187,0.09786784147873236,0.1003882824213956,0.029481522739494094,0.02954663485344359,0.0841105560509571,0.037351753735198834,0.03644608941660751,0.056769232918703075,0.0,0.06318358065929314,0.044572450858008365,0.0,0.10062583576743443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035418559232288635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19634755827187264,0.09902478821182914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03271238215867765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574424668927934,0.05078496335186735,0.0,0.07834540681465997,0.0,0.0,0.03187187478920035,0.2546114032584353,0.02915242854307298,0.0,0.0732982726829878,0.0,0.03763906866238422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0355114131218212,0.033396250295099635,0.0,0.14972093508096362,0.0,0.0,0.07169074870357937,0.0,0.0570249987814723,0.0,0.079652560871808,0.10027928070757244,0.03378964428173055,0.0,0.0,0.03483014697691573,0.0,0.034271496657190904,0.0,0.15011451519918426,0.0,0.03403406138652397,0.02828887912766103,0.02570310944388644,0.09906242874519186,0.0,0.047263285580549284,0.0,0.026663073219081738,0.02791320692158783,0.0,0.0349035665109754,0.0,0.0,0.037887416198510465,0.031467055242702206,0.0,0.22592727693582046,0.08050613677521742,0.0,0.030738462079611388,0.1145435710564921,0.0,0.06654294678236004,0.08557271763777277,0.03280276945763352,0.05301143902563859,0.058405061098812286,0.0,0.0,0.03190291493996725,0.07418884921430638,0.06800318266178265,0.0,0.0,0.10427180558621743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059077933745284826,0.07950365223285813,0.0,0.0,0.030019116144561413,0.0,0.03012676870541408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291887100467957,0.033906337730715205,0.0,0.21345587802759167,0.036503678652624064,0.0,0.12900163183216454
mentalhealth,l0gicalparadox,2019/01/06,"Bird Box SPOILER ALERT (DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THE CONCEPT OF SUICIDE):

>!Okay so I don't know if any of you have heard of the movie Bird Box, but I've been wanting to watch it. I just watched the movie, and I only watched about an hour of it due to the extreme content. As someone who has struggles with clinical depression as well as MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) I do not recommend watching this movie, because it has very graphic depictions of suicide. Obviously I can't stop anyone from watching it, but I found this movie extremely disturbing.  I find it troubling that there are not warnings with movies like these. This movie is centered around an outbreak of mass suicides, so if you struggle with your mental health (or know someone who does) please warn them of the content.!<

​

>!The way the outbreak works is that you cannot look at anything, unless you are inside (all the windows/openings must be shut and blacked out, otherwise you will be exposed to the outbreak). If you uncover your eyes outside, then you will be 'infected', and the disease makes you see/hear your worst fears. As soon as you are exposed to the outbreak, you immediately take your own life.!<

​

>!I just felt that I should warn other people about the content of this movie, because it is very disturbing. Please warn others who are interested in watching this film if they may be susceptible to this type of thing.!<

​",8.978326063249726,8.897988370229012,7.336815703380591,75.79343511450384,60.335877862595424,10.081134133042534,41.99672846237732,9.424239791934726,4.045593456924753,1171,61,199,17,14,347,144,262,0.187,0.7390000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.9893,0,0,0,0,0,3,63.0,0,15,2,1,10,12,0,5,13,0,26,4,1,1,3,35,35,20,3,8,14,0,1,1,0,5,3,1,0,0,21,8,0,1,5,2,0,0,6,9,1,0,4,11,25,3,31,22,4,13,0,2,9,0,21,7,0,7,6,141,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424888945414956,0.38409012885709937,0.0716518328073528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367367810135866,0.0,0.0867064411442277,0.09379721444958908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845908737115247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815014900848972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075745157564878,0.0,0.09220564687725942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856495079139785,0.0,0.0,0.1011669512358049,0.0,0.0963017276126016,0.0,0.0,0.11552731579770308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199809868383667,0.1187540453246226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376332934773698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581172875561754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442243596206098,0.05147603095218136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848008745804684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033197499752826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618316706313263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013485244714054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304684438011061,0.0,0.0,0.2313183225272732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539354222403627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396228641751524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855089421516782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808988213656731,0.0,0.22030081091970505,0.0,0.3457567207079549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922138893136903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999984339007799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387436720585778,0.062147023988958834,0.08363385564275297,0.0,0.0,0.09473581485806272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670699596763239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38409012885709937,0.0
mentalhealth,RektMyAnus,2019/01/06,"Is there any guide on how to build a human Rat Park? Is there a guide on what a normal human being needs to function? [http://brucekalexander.com/articles-speeches/rat-park/148-addiction-the-view-from-rat-park](http://brucekalexander.com/articles-speeches/rat-park/148-addiction-the-view-from-rat-park)

This is the Rat Park I'm discussing here. Sure, it's about addiction, but I feel like depression and anxiety are very large parts of it.

I just want to make sure I'm doing and having everything possible in my fight against my personal mental illness.

So, are there any guides? Can someone at least point me in the right direction from here?

My background: I'm a lonely guy from a small town who spends most of his time in his room. I don't do anything all day, yet I feel mentally drained. I've thought about hobbies, but the idea alone makes me feel like passing up on them. I don't know what to do.",8.09425431711146,11.381878687074835,4.633605442176876,81.98218210361071,64.85034013605443,6.972056514913657,24.913134484563056,7.882392219407189,1.251088330716902,745,20,122,9,13,197,94,147,0.155,0.763,0.081,-0.9254,0,3,0,0,1,0,51.0,0,0,1,0,11,7,1,0,8,0,13,2,0,3,3,21,25,6,0,3,3,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,1,4,6,2,0,0,6,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,1,3,13,4,19,23,4,17,0,2,0,0,10,13,0,1,5,76,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879394402741417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855250019772229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344733198596084,0.0,0.13188411978864642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418689956121579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111825504348892,0.0,0.14848628176090595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154940349044817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615090675823037,0.24632255852535365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070128184639308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19461653717651667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474551960526942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684500646760196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301542197014275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34747359165870817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783105047665208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891359226105082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18669040615890772,0.0,0.0,0.15053142276395765,0.0,0.0,0.16297198429930415,0.1943530210146172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722708584989685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607240069871594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32496644928756985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686488121399232,0.10052675292363296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224653620117328,0.10168490088219047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChickenLeggings,2019/01/06,"Need advice/help I’m 17 years old.
About two months ago I started having extreme feelings of agitation and sadness as well as sometimes just euphoria. I didn’t think much of it at the time but then it started to get in the way of relationships with friends and family. There are times when my friends do the smallest things and I yell at them. I just become so agitated. There are other times where I become so moody that I cant even engage in conversation or hang out with my friends.  My grades in school have dropped because its impossible for me to focus at times. The work has always been pretty easy for me, as i’ve always had above a 95 average but now they’re slipping far. My therapist recently recommended to see a psychiatrist for possible medication but im not sure what for. It’s extremely hard to confide in anyone, especially my family even though I’ve always had a good relationship with them. In some times of just extreme moodiness I’ve resorted to cutting and sometimes alcohol. It’s also extremely hard to confide in friends as it seems they don’t actually care. Every once in a while i’ll confide something small to them or they’ll ask how I’m feeling, usually when I cant even engage in conversation with them. When they do ask, I can’t tell them as I’ve become extremely paranoid and suspicious about their motives for asking. My brain keeps telling me they’re only asking so they can make fun of you and if you tell them then they won’t ever want to hang out with you anymore. This paranoia and suspicion has also translated to school where when somebody talks to me im just picturing the worst possible thing that could happen so I get visibly annoyed with them and less people talk to me. I’ve also just acted on impulse so much more recently even when it’s very risky. I recently went to a party with my friends and a bunch of random people. I just remember I was acting very crazy. I bruised my hands very badly, and I remember I very touchy with my recent ex. One girl I have always known from elementary school, not my ex, was there and I have always known she is a pretty toxic and unhealthy person. At one point I just became extremely moody and she noticed and was asking what was wrong. As soon as she seemed to care about how I was feeling I kind of formed an unhealthy attachment to her and I almost stayed at her house for the night. During that night I also confronted a bunch of old friends that were assholes and even got mad at my friends for not seeming to care. I was just incredibly aggressive that night and it seemed this one, almost random girl, cared about me more than my friends for multiple years. I haven’t spoken to them since and don’t know how to.",4.877269361616971,6.262999754752856,5.5118431058635196,80.19971182709628,69.51330798479087,8.80680408244947,29.431458875325198,9.206073818396263,2.5005406844106464,2165,82,409,43,38,700,229,526,0.157,0.696,0.147,-0.6354,0,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,3,14,2,44,31,5,0,15,0,32,4,2,5,2,74,64,52,0,4,17,2,6,0,8,2,2,1,0,3,20,28,1,1,14,0,0,5,11,12,1,4,13,8,64,19,71,48,10,62,0,1,1,0,49,22,0,12,32,285,84,6,0.0,0.0,0.0567055543890763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515097161008438,0.06210035908414215,0.11637462139503467,0.0,0.0,0.18587751904266564,0.24175480814051345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762805908240148,0.040630843410120944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27161821181475165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04851820507941955,0.03542242764372101,0.19252895667690376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486835012602978,0.0,0.0,0.2369821237595741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046394942169660704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190071861401664,0.052562502696049916,0.048958952538025145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955912307309597,0.0,0.08814427386836915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35915612105291417,0.0,0.06071862933736865,0.0,0.0,0.04873868779199731,0.0464747090710066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138519147159215,0.0,0.10410767926899282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03894893059015919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704945525791481,0.0,0.0,0.12553439290805565,0.0,0.0,0.05164954174161916,0.0,0.060511104141521777,0.03193493481926566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038787902769258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853824238021142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04638168355440972,0.0,0.0854329283293411,0.043086747340220416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635927898640187,0.0,0.0,0.06615695980535855,0.12195027909833647,0.061883700395878725,0.11812755504163465,0.044194164393332624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057029245990674,0.050738137214785504,0.0,0.0,0.054931354196459635,0.13101729947521393,0.0,0.1182345545046062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22950069843687396,0.12477365442740193,0.13165130020454482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17642683923970456,0.04630498435401005,0.21159933564310246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048067986127083635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0447347942859614,0.11494166703989772,0.0,0.0822590497208272,0.061935973807683065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476661281548118,0.0,0.0,0.0934108893260366,0.1523682799100648,0.0,0.0,0.06746849556704004,0.07720946608915939,0.037233607167001206,0.0570913471345034,0.0,0.16941778965293125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056763601687291276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399834911068962,0.1917825299085968,0.03427392340350454,0.046123855629011806,0.0,0.0,0.052246557495507606,0.05386720027087039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042303710388041205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635325682587555,0.0,0.07483999131394102
mentalhealth,iamanxiouslol,2019/01/06,"Obsession with achievement and it’s killing me (16F)plz help Everyone calls me motivated. Which is true, to an extent. And I always joke that I have a ‘fear of failure’ to my friends, and not a huge amount of motivation.

Which now I realize is probably true.

For a little bit of background I’m taking the Full IB program (which if you know about it, is hell) and with the added course load of an online course (didn’t fit in my schedule so I decided that suffering was the only option :)) + extra curricular guac

I finish things really fast when given - like really really fast. I have went two days without eating or drinking solely because I wanted to finish the project the week it was given (even if it was due in, like, two months).

There’s also my utterly stupidly high expectations for my grades. I have post test anxiety and text anxiety. I have gone to tests and have basically just stared at the front page for twenty minutes because I’m afraid of the outcome. Afraid that even if I spent like 5 hours studying it wasn’t enough. I also literally get nightmares after taking a test about failing it, etc. Pretty neat.

And when I don’t do things up to my expectations - I am literally ruined. I don’t like, break out into tears usually but I just feel grief?? Like just so much disappointment for myself to the point that I feel ‘depressed’ almost? And then after all of it I sometimes break down. But it’s not even- like breaking down when you get a 52 is obviously reasonable but these aren’t even BAD grades, like is my brain??? Okay. And when this is happening I REALIZE it?? Like I know it’s so stupid that I’m literally fine but I just can’t stop it?

This isn’t even because of anyone else’s expectation either ? My parents don’t even look at my report cards. 

They also don’t believe in therapy hahahaha so I’m here. 

I have, basically, the opposite of procrastination syndrome and it’s ruining me. I went through google- which isn’t the best thing ever, and really genuinely thing this is some obsessive disorder. I can’t even watch Netflix because I constantly think I have something to do- and if there isn’t anything given I have to go ahead in my classes or practice music or anything. I have so much anxiety. 
Help:)",3.948696780893045,5.97180064018692,5.230311526479753,78.7392731048806,72.97196261682242,8.493873312564899,28.47767393561786,9.150863307647796,2.5897381100726897,1766,71,325,40,36,587,205,428,0.123,0.764,0.113,-0.8637,2,0,2,0,0,0,60.0,0,2,1,6,30,33,4,5,17,1,34,3,1,3,5,59,58,36,2,8,19,1,2,8,1,0,0,0,0,0,29,16,2,1,11,3,1,5,15,17,0,2,12,5,43,16,40,46,14,49,1,7,3,0,8,17,1,10,31,229,72,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797831562884302,0.0,0.0,0.21078295477066525,0.07310590766410509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016361839569684,0.0,0.0,0.06143320808181355,0.09002215160353566,0.1446013007120009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335877718102264,0.21423265534848712,0.0,0.0,0.09898725212986824,0.0922028288494954,0.0,0.095919510761204,0.0,0.0,0.09807994412007852,0.08971408486783497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494460214170283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566619272237409,0.0,0.0756730157560783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069427563898896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606858532509977,0.0,0.0899019141322737,0.07339510282341234,0.0,0.0,0.09078205848423217,0.09798625264950582,0.4062112942656506,0.07947369275191987,0.0,0.08395324796084866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886604661107046,0.08884852102983151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787981391313129,0.0,0.09180563034032213,0.0,0.04993241832834209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769361635283747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778036371813724,0.09282808766456796,0.0,0.0,0.08652363187719983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720320733461743,0.0,0.0965702570349504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34338860794875004,0.08805801792037106,0.0,0.0,0.0737796152437109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012838961332307,0.0,0.12917326894050446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682089440705992,0.0,0.0,0.09755726419545084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305535965631243,0.0,0.08414484435082575,0.08938441070525119,0.0947270970606682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251394593599239,0.09033390907674313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676383184598631,0.08689501319548841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345424035641257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211839550226884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004746728349858,0.0,0.2334790419319497,0.05629663931999782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716513791618665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676451601371863,0.0,0.05182164315356421,0.0,0.07047536512497916,0.0,0.0,0.16289275069297673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469315092660472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heart110133,2019/01/06,"Borderline Personality Disorder For years I feel I have suffered from a mental health illness, I have always wondered why my mood changes so much, why I am constantly depressed etc but I have always brushed it under the carpet until recently. I am nearly 22 so am very close to finishing my degree and am struggling a lot to deal with the workload mentally, all my friends around me have gotten into long term relationships and I have never had anything more than a one night stand, for some reason that is affecting me hugely as I feel I am too ugly for anyone to ever find me attractive. Long story short my friends encourage me to go out to bars etc to release my uni stress as well as to meet someone at the same time, however they are unaware that when I drink I have the  most awful suicidal thoughts  which is why I choose not to drink. I am SO SICK of being mentally ill, I have decided to do something about it, I just live in this state of angriness at the world, hatred for myself and struggle to control my anger and emotions, I have lost so my friends along the way. Anyway, I have booked a doctors appointment to deal with and after research, a lot of the way I feel and act leads me to believe it may be BPD, I know it is not easy to self diagnose and it shouldnt be done however, I was reading the symptoms and it made me feel relieved others actually feel the same. When going to the doctors what is the best way to approach this? Obvisously I do not want to self diagnose but I cant stress how much the symptoms add up to the way Im feeling!! Any Advice? Or any advice in general in how to reduce anger, suicidal thoughts, self esteem and depression? sounds like a very long list hahaha but I really am struggling!!",7.049717291255753,6.4560741952662735,7.478303747534517,74.89212360289285,64.44378698224854,10.706377383300461,35.64168310322157,10.125756701596842,3.5112420775805395,1370,57,257,27,18,451,180,338,0.231,0.664,0.105,-0.995,2,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,4,15,21,2,5,19,1,32,13,0,7,3,58,48,25,2,2,8,0,6,1,3,2,10,1,1,4,13,17,3,1,14,5,0,5,6,11,1,1,8,8,38,9,47,35,14,42,0,4,0,0,13,15,0,7,17,193,51,6,0.0,0.0,0.0772402832473284,0.0,0.0,0.15469153300163388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317204993997835,0.0,0.0,0.10765124124892783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534445236250357,0.0,0.06513480289156938,0.0704614673872931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917644757703001,0.08306444068740754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996883330334354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837316151744927,0.0,0.0,0.0855344718984958,0.0887749502838191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320309750709494,0.13634585418563155,0.16067387365432026,0.0,0.0,0.09071428491667194,0.16202948641780246,0.0,0.0809992943691089,0.0,0.15507634613804916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890345960965517,0.0,0.0,0.17654931791023348,0.0,0.0715969121573999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24012775304192996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234288437384442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345637049368294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996705312336176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413416564829089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549702202865261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0434995026060485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03866934319370192,0.0,0.06989207711917285,0.21013931675474476,0.0,0.0,0.08640302994883611,0.13458326560028858,0.0,0.07489490504147163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392977810802523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637067398248048,0.0,0.06104638750002497,0.0,0.0,0.07427816412020745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053634991663108936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911189092733397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917275243009911,0.0,0.05070637067687904,0.08138075291393686,0.07815239240540205,0.08497891003454648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477163076100145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706466755724208,0.06093456309324536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813351689517148,0.2482384764052184,0.0,0.1731574229438303,0.0,0.0,0.1645370828893273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567463415364416,0.04615377876439406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061627817259178,0.046685506917359516,0.2513065756345063,0.0,0.0,0.0711665540197635,0.0,0.21426530036959854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583624422021151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05097086334482591
mentalhealth,kpadders,2019/01/06,"How did you get insight into your illness? My SO is currently in psych hospital against his will, he was sectioned (am in UK, same as involuntary committed I guess). He has no idea he is ill. He is paranoid, delusional, psychotic, very confused. Everyone on here is so aware of their illnesses (if you weren't you wouldn't be posting I suppose). But, did you have a time when you were in denial? How did you get insight? Meds and time?

He's been in hospital before and was on anti-psychotics last year but came off them after only a few months. I would have thought this would make him realise, but no.

Am so scared for him and us. 

Please give me hope and what I can do to help the process. 
Peace and love to all ",2.0448632218844978,4.280443035460993,3.0669351570415406,91.01250000000002,79.63829787234044,6.58176291793313,25.674265450861203,7.7094869923839395,1.377524417426545,552,22,116,9,14,176,96,141,0.113,0.7390000000000001,0.14800000000000002,0.8903,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,7,2,0,7,4,0,2,3,0,24,4,0,3,2,27,33,16,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,10,0,19,2,15,18,4,19,0,0,0,1,21,9,0,4,8,85,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769812773863594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388447832680881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19954509204550586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182091032987603,0.2003278390108976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300487255668981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399737001851862,0.0,0.0,0.20741435111340176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357425616763537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702235355064241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847635725250425,0.0,0.13939500239855193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319619806691376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666853433344187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15882389125954918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22923157016884174,0.0,0.0,0.2000004897841543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20907429448274106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16578692730336808,0.2435397792504004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511956165776379,0.0,0.0,0.17230582416147872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29669230963043625,0.0,0.0,0.13447905176485495
mentalhealth,SteezyKoala,2019/01/06,"What’s wrong with me? 16 yr old male There’s no doubt I have severe anxiety and depression but there’s always been a feeling I absolutely hate that comes over me almost daily. I feel a weird guilt sensation like I don’t feel like what I’m doing is right. I have nothing to feel guilt about, it just comes over me. I’ll be having a good or fine day then it just comes over me. Does anyone have any idea what this could be. I do have anxiety attacks here and there.",0.334862542955328,2.6641264639175297,1.9171391752577345,95.71495274914093,88.48453608247421,5.295189003436427,16.330756013745706,6.816661863887847,-0.2206831615120275,365,8,82,5,12,118,62,97,0.269,0.599,0.132,-0.8989,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,7,12,2,3,3,0,13,0,0,0,0,18,22,5,0,1,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,5,0,0,3,2,8,0,0,1,4,10,4,6,18,0,10,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,3,5,51,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514468793635572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384666510184208,0.0,0.0,0.12573429751397244,0.0,0.2828868916054549,0.0,0.0,0.12928222207868328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21034367944495896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4778095695733697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762285774780792,0.0,0.0,0.1192413694070852,0.0,0.15924897842405186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618020332864943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739519580955001,0.1320883496534864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508036088118826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825446003264113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20872288242553733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806597915780278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17741083214816636,0.0,0.19401520792725294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789851250837328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887765386166374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20215262370880435,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,idktbh99,2019/01/06,"Multiple personality disorder (I need your help) Well hello I created this account to see if anyone can help me with my current situation, i'm not the one suffering of Multiple personality disorder but my boyfriend is.
To explain things as shortly as possible this disorder is created because of trauma so the personality splits in ""alters"", you can check more information for that.
My problem here is that there is a new personality,  unlike the others this one doesn't know what he or she looks like, doesn't know it's gender or name at all, doesn't know anything so I gave him a list of names I found online, unisex names and it chose the name of Pragun, apart form this one there's others that I met, those being Sebastian and Samantha, Sebastian isn't really the good type but Sam is. Usually they find themselves in a room waiting on a chair or something like that to take turns, this new personality went there and saw a broken chair, Sebastian ( or so I think it was him) standing there with the light above him.
What I want to know is how to find ""the original"" aka my boyfriend, how to bring him back and teach this personality how to be able to switch as the others.
One detail is that Sebastian said to this new peronality ""Find yourself"".
if anyone has any clue of what to do please answer.",5.602611190817791,6.869042235772357,6.4104399808704,74.87662123385941,67.69918699186992,9.853275944524153,30.324246771879483,10.056822442137396,3.028262840746053,1034,39,191,25,17,341,131,246,0.086,0.8240000000000001,0.09,-0.4662,1,0,1,1,0,0,29.0,0,2,1,0,13,7,0,0,13,0,18,0,0,4,1,40,39,21,0,5,9,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,6,23,6,0,1,12,0,2,2,5,3,1,4,7,5,20,4,25,30,3,17,0,1,3,0,27,7,0,6,9,132,43,2,0.10462256161751446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114692956041793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630905535737754,0.0,0.08609545379123712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044829191854712,0.0,0.06377694249052818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35971955906199576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28686937776268123,0.0,0.0,0.11471323868940693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775244090095605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140252595406542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299912949944976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222659783320756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878566018932496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775763037717223,0.0,0.3031353658639254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835798216208173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5481143119445404,0.0,0.11484415509042699,0.0,0.11794621839500308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001096618823835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702389198597902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952001442379572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833706360804435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760014277158165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054355932905971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866314589792588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950658108501445,0.06703791301062009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379930391499896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522697065752086,0.0,0.06170909751911222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406824755868236,0.09698616278802788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrDanny_osu,2019/01/06,"Did I just have a panic attack? I'm only just recovering in my bed right now, not having a clue what just happened to me.

What happened was:
I felt a bit ill today, most likely caught something from my flatmate. I barely touched my lunch. After a tad bit of studying I decided to lay down and rest. 10 minutes after lying down, I didn't even notice how I began crying. Then it turned into heavy crying and sobbing. Few minutes later I began to gasp for air ( hyperventilation, I assumed ) and shaking uncontrollably. It lasted for what felt a very long time and I couldn't move or sit up. Every negative thought has flooded my head: ""I'm alone. I have noone to go to. I'm not living a healthy life"" and so on. Eventually I managed to sit and that's when I started feeling pins and needles in my chest, arms, legs. I believed I'd calmed down enough and tried to get up but only ended up on my fours on the floor for another while, breathing heavily and crying. I continued to feel pins and needles, also shaking a tad bit. 
I got into bed again, lied down quietly and here I am right now. Judging by the time, this lasted 1-1.5 hrs. 
Honestly, I've never experienced this. That's why I'm asking you whether my experience was indeed a panic attack and should I worry?",2.4272590361445765,4.654289240963855,4.3317520080321295,82.4850978915663,78.27710843373494,6.238353413654619,25.234437751004013,7.333567415737692,1.3808244979919682,987,37,184,13,24,335,146,249,0.185,0.7859999999999999,0.029,-0.9863,0,1,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,0,12,11,2,5,10,0,11,8,5,1,1,34,31,21,0,2,8,0,5,1,0,1,2,1,2,0,9,14,1,0,7,0,0,5,6,8,0,1,11,7,26,3,30,18,7,47,0,1,0,0,2,18,1,3,23,124,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214944465223037,0.0,0.09381018982830826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300638731661315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966600433404228,0.2669067951076763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216457074988153,0.0,0.0,0.38420586571070137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865679695897024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389898885335484,0.12120926213425895,0.0,0.07748002204500051,0.0,0.0988360218070922,0.0,0.0,0.11474854054483848,0.0,0.0,0.11862766559337898,0.0,0.22526581050543276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612879510506679,0.0,0.06666814658326682,0.0,0.09382094838840188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746799682462114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039059960008827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19124136535230649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285724810321725,0.057310167462780615,0.0,0.10358403616934857,0.1038128091410164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467854279909045,0.0,0.0,0.09047422070499617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355454688159246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784341849361727,0.0,0.2752684630607831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003586988545914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903084905697088,0.0,0.0,0.08303034287471607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312848026782744,0.13680505390421815,0.0,0.11119311140754652,0.0,0.0,0.07964360360794792,0.1275960914821305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679037911168296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585112332297264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913072960656786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RobynTacoo,2019/01/06,"Hey guys! I made a video about my Schizoaffective disorder https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJqnWIHw9z4&t=690s

Check it out if you'd like to learn more about Schizoaffective disorder and how it affected my life
",12.457999999999998,17.303554133333336,6.7966666666666695,64.14500000000001,57.66666666666666,12.0,30.0,11.20814326018867,4.645,184,6,24,6,3,47,25,30,0.222,0.701,0.076,-0.5848,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,7,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,15,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603394318592996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7623080138431894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292965644708186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23490401049110524,0.16247689233117654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146857540771159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asheristrasher,2019/01/06,"real talk: how bad do i have to present to be sent to residential? i'm gonna blow up one of these days and all these three-day hospitalizations don't do jack. they just drug me some more until they're sure i wont try to kill myself until i'm tolerant to them and say they'll see me back next month. i need residential before i kill myself or do something stupid(er than what i've done in the past) or just fucking drop dead. what do i have to do to get there? try to strangle myself with a pair of pants in the hospital like that one girl did when i was 16? destroy my room like my roommate from my second attempt? yeah, i know it's fucked up, but i feel like a ticking time bomb. ",1.9249770114942528,3.364114779310345,3.2825000000000024,93.05041666666668,77.06896551724137,6.21264367816092,21.738505747126442,6.816661863887847,0.2458850574712641,533,14,125,5,12,174,97,145,0.111,0.769,0.12,-0.5463,0,0,2,0,0,2,14.0,0,0,3,1,6,10,5,0,4,1,14,3,0,1,2,16,25,9,3,1,5,0,1,3,0,3,1,1,1,1,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,6,0,3,4,3,19,4,19,17,3,17,0,0,1,2,7,5,2,3,13,78,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408305187459754,0.15292202857175974,0.0,0.0,0.15584657819267092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23623231429984665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742533818539772,0.0,0.0,0.212395060311338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260579710833376,0.1308419078288292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386371825248723,0.09568795831552497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052551642896357,0.0,0.10065407421554708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684325134658525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618803655459994,0.0,0.0,0.13580289701649048,0.0,0.0,0.1947813751762064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24821343270523544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748367457433537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20846401791041014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456476870287544,0.0,0.0,0.14594629230013406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099729119722468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261606269313606,0.0,0.0,0.14720848249690188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679583891226624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486927264328072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,widemec,2019/01/06,"Imposter? Forgive me if this is the wrong place to post this, although I don't think I'm breaking any of the rules so I imagine it's appropriate.

​

I have been using mental health services for depression since about the age of 14. I'm 21 now and had a horrendous episode for a few months, far worse than I'd ever been. Anyway, I finally went to the doctors last Friday and was prescribed fluoxetine but obviously medication takes a while (read: a few weeks) to fully work. 

​

I think the sheer relief of finally getting some help, and help that isn't just CBT, has made me feel relatively better, at least better than I have been for a long while.  My question is, has anyone who received treatment after a while suddenly felt like an imposter? or experienced self doubt that you were being dramatic etc because of this? Is it normal for me to now feel - for lack of a better word - unworthy of the help? I'm struggling to come to terms with this.",5.858606557377051,6.8066211584699445,6.2197950819672165,77.6316598360656,66.92349726775956,8.94153005464481,32.189890710382514,9.075114841892004,2.7627234972677592,764,31,139,13,12,246,116,183,0.113,0.727,0.16,0.9074,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,4,7,10,0,2,14,0,16,3,0,2,2,26,30,11,0,3,4,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,8,1,0,3,2,4,0,0,9,4,11,6,23,20,7,24,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,5,17,95,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27473510922593203,0.3081064676430623,0.08621567484218634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864847732077594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728474257659723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363834402743569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092109188485208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091966027903616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297660979453206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413947336785592,0.0,0.114681001847314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820893369280464,0.0,0.12172999113605955,0.2777655738442017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623802983156317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476266106172624,0.0,0.0,0.25493662697856795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334373270826534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061938970335510574,0.0,0.0,0.1121975173080302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996359178917043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771888586362995,0.1277657953264408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119567494993964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421881820519315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324595410410121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142150082998228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202414263528282,0.0,0.12681567254929033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226061233935366,0.0,0.0,0.10487485418480663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253940853676385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532380737583028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247275731876135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949839217670083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169636263557942,0.0,0.0,0.1175275943289048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229834274089416,0.0,0.12920104085717374,0.0,0.13861551874687436,0.3081064676430623,0.0
mentalhealth,niggabootyface,2019/01/06,I wish I could tell my parents I think I'm depressed I'm  scared cause I know they are going to yell at me or force me to pray for hours or say that it's my fault cause it kinda happened before I just dont want to feel this anymore ,0.04396226415094517,1.599129622641513,1.9024905660377376,100.30241509433964,82.9622641509434,4.24,18.147169811320754,3.1291,-0.9619252830188684,182,4,46,0,5,60,39,53,0.191,0.715,0.094,-0.6276,1,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,12,12,2,0,3,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,3,10,0,5,11,0,3,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,3,1,25,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403417521232128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20621828786019195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979114536542271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934932716503128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087319424128776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28402728218130324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253723596035287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773061061346753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143054468277361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386616360653505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331868244500151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690961507023999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272297793240412,0.2426302606137937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118207689372409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15528529898237148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294173591993542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786855229318847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bhav196,2019/01/06,"Gaming the Mind: mental health and gaming podcast Just wanted to share a podcast my cousin has started up recently that focuses on mental health and video games.

https://pca.st/aNwb

Still early days, but thought worth sharing if it gets people talking (he didn't ask me to share it...!).

(Re rules: this is not for profit nor for academic research)",7.8145000000000024,9.372022783333335,6.583333333333336,74.58000000000003,62.83333333333334,8.666666666666668,33.33333333333333,8.841846274778883,3.011833333333333,277,11,42,4,4,83,51,60,0.047,0.7929999999999999,0.161,0.7672,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,9,8,5,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,6,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,1,5,25,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383595690899845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443251318239493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320964588394785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5420356373539617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5138931938282405,0.0,0.2574438165416842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676189736952666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25174898628747233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046683536246505,0.0,0.20361684067370986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049326808694596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024151838251464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038604294792698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chelsbeards,2019/01/06,"Tips for being happier So 2018 externally looked like a great year for me. I got in the best shape of my life, competed in a body building competition, made my 100th jump in skydiving, and got married. 

(I also broke my ankle at the end of the summer, but I’ll just brush that under the rug)

So yeah all that stuff sounds cool, big things happening. Quite honestly though mentally, overall I wasn’t happy. Although, I completed all of these great milestones I still felt I was lacking and needed to improve. I’m not sure what it was, but I want to make my happiness a priority this year. 

Any and all tips/advice are welcome! ",4.46916666666667,5.989541583333337,5.44166666666667,79.7966666666667,70.66666666666666,9.0,29.16666666666667,9.444778638647367,2.6474166666666665,490,19,93,11,9,161,85,120,0.031,0.6509999999999999,0.318,0.9915,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,6,11,0,0,7,2,5,2,1,2,4,17,15,10,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,5,12,10,12,7,5,13,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,0,6,62,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736598935883685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211768212164216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085149547097145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864996958896281,0.0,0.0,0.19739999752125728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18632956498875355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740170121865962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063314182008246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842679615896124,0.3918602402055901,0.0,0.0,0.1571517490642471,0.37835934384089503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552453063956687,0.08682199851338274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923485512864668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815711871800446,0.11862535855476453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909373746133594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177254987457446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890205287468744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192249068203194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20343981264538186,0.0,0.0,0.16749317746602926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806516909580872,0.0,0.17460293134416738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482021874205698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288837542123588
mentalhealth,Horrorfan97,2019/01/06,"Can body dysphoria be cured? I was bullied heavily for my looks as a child and as a result, I’ve had severely low self-esteem from the time I was about 10 years old until now (I’m 21).  I really hate the fact that I was born ugly, and I hate that I had to take abuse and suffer for something that I had no choice in (the way I look). Sometimes I don’t even go outside if I look in the mirror and I feel bad enough. When I do go out, I usually wear hats or hoods to hide as much of my face as I can. I also look in every mirror that I pass while I’m out and I constantly take pictures of myself on my phone so I can see how I’m looking at a given moment, and if I don’t like it then I’ll go back inside. I’ve never been diagnosed with body dysphoria but I’m 99% sure I have it. I just want to get plastic surgery someday so I can be done with this nightmare, and that’s assuming that would even help. I’d honestly give anything to be a good looking person. ",1.205076665737387,2.3251987298578243,3.6231000836353497,91.19345692779484,78.28909952606634,6.860440479509339,22.36437134095345,7.5105763829236425,0.6960764427097854,736,21,175,10,17,257,121,211,0.118,0.7929999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.1884,0,0,1,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,11,9,2,0,8,0,20,5,4,2,3,25,43,23,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,9,11,0,0,2,0,0,4,4,5,0,0,9,8,26,4,24,30,2,27,0,2,7,0,5,8,0,4,15,114,35,0,0.0,0.1465960310364542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894428062841028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018166176609116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951382752404727,0.10330671344635146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748651745399729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370472060251445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558010184810872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661547773948412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278428630122615,0.0,0.1634407745756972,0.0,0.1042451688433276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255998978494003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464214856612145,0.11869002471031255,0.2109503823598553,0.10377617319596216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24430920784321306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293146881532464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044666685651896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6233961248854495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095343728560197,0.0,0.09542573892511763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298304679335548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803347307406648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926255898516711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859424399495394,0.0,0.12907404060820524,0.13977607132679612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952509386284284,0.12236897305351338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661104872480335,0.0,0.1860543175558199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214609452159479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626759485012405,0.0,0.0729772747761839,0.0982085781761202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789197181795726,0.0,0.0,0.07967600537098471
mentalhealth,RSInPsychosis,2019/01/06,"Research Opportunity - Manchester University are looking for participants to take part in a study exploring which factors influence the development of experiences such as feeling suspicious and hearing voices. PARTICIPANTS NEEDED ## Have you ever had unusual experiences, like hearing voices, feeling suspicious or unusual beliefs?

If so we are looking for participants to take part in a study exploring which factors influence the development of experiences such as feeling suspicious and hearing voices. Our work will help us to understand more about how these experiences develop and inform treatment development. If you enter the survey you may potentially win one of **8 shopping vouchers.** 

The research involves completing some questionnaires online which will take on average 20-30 minutes to complete. To access the survey click on the link below.

Study here: [https://www.psych-ssl.manchester.ac.uk/survey/cpollard/](https://www.psych-ssl.manchester.ac.uk/survey/cpollard/?fbclid=IwAR0ayUv9ihvSaqTBa06ESRiR-nP3SI_FaKXin2GzqHyrkiNhffNrf9vvYYU)

Please share to help people who would like to take part find out about the research.

​

Thank you for your help :). This post has been approved by moderators.

​

If you have any questions about the research please contact: [catherine.pollard@postgrad.manchester.ac.uk](mailto:catherine.pollard@postgrad.manchester.ac.uk)

​

This study is part of a doctoral thesis in the Division of Psychology and Mental Health, Faculty of Biology, Medicine and Health at The University of Manchester. It has been approved by the University of Manchester Ethics Committee.

If you complete the survey, in accordance with the Data Protection Act of 1998, all information about you will be handled in strict confidence. The data collected during the study will be stored on secure servers and only researchers will have access to it. No identifying information will be collected and participants will be identified only by numbers in any computerised data files used in the analysis of the results. The data you provide will be kept anonymously for a maximum of 10 years on the University’s secure server. It will then be permanently deleted.",12.731240288946431,16.054800401253914,10.459882785879786,44.77369224478673,52.82445141065831,13.447512607332698,45.531007223660886,12.583877053449475,7.414054000272591,1844,101,191,63,23,558,161,319,0.029,0.831,0.14,0.9859,0,0,0,0,0,0,91.0,3,9,0,5,10,8,0,0,23,0,28,3,0,5,2,40,45,17,0,6,5,0,3,2,0,11,3,6,0,0,10,10,0,4,13,1,2,4,1,0,0,1,4,12,12,8,47,24,7,22,1,0,3,0,26,14,0,8,5,148,22,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765391306724449,0.3101296188777316,0.11570906894461075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676014111080868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707879629378683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769560290148938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328822492589209,0.0,0.0,0.1290508052201389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775783816843393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808634226721905,0.2876601926191367,0.0,0.17107376240785208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831275821018447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288467075831351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573650468578334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308270741302778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057649636698936864,0.12940812263103593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685156689123105,0.0,0.05898092219978161,0.0,0.0,0.18677559722319695,0.0,0.0,0.08147920222518465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530448692807816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558659784291501,0.0,0.0,0.07832646531075099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856702006306627,0.10233584159367837,0.07347826849867876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193627390395201,0.0,0.0,0.06043548373587707,0.0,0.3101296188777316,0.05478609510219218
mentalhealth,garbage92,2019/01/06,"Why am i addicted to listening to music? [18M] I can’t stop having earphones in my ears and listening to music, i listen to music when i study, when i relax, when i do chores... if i don’t listen to music i feel so empty and unmotivated... i can’t concentrate properly and sometimes i ditch my friends so i can listen to it.",0.86004264392324,2.959971208955224,4.521961620469085,79.69014925373135,83.17910447761193,7.410660980810236,23.004264392324096,8.418075326091056,1.8089249466950963,249,9,49,6,7,93,36,67,0.078,0.82,0.102,0.3472,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,7,2,1,0,0,6,13,9,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,6,1,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,13,2,7,13,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,37,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5120627458477999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23750390199269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36290352352614597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.464563831978823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927058886371199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4238480913160376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thisisitsuckas,2019/01/06,"Anyone else have speech issues with Wellbutrin/bupropion? My husband was on bupropion 300mg xl and started having speech aphasia, not being able to find certain words or not being able to complete a sentence fluently. His mind otherwise seems fine and he's able to go about his day as usual, but this scared us enough for him to quit cold Turkey about 15 days ago. Still having issues with speech though. Anyone else relate??? What now?",6.0204219409282675,8.002033594936709,5.22854430379747,81.02779535864978,67.48101265822785,7.2919831223628675,27.090717299578056,7.793537801064563,1.7527957805907173,350,11,57,4,6,105,61,79,0.068,0.8809999999999999,0.051,-0.6622,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,1,0,6,0,0,0,1,13,9,6,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,4,5,2,11,6,1,9,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,7,35,7,0,0.4943700327770566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460764018253176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304500143956785,0.3376936803517868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277919119442134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21255184861920867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753218174721174,0.0,0.0,0.17027213243283254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061508456331218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365396079635913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439959152349396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639093468340307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752744610228551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649835487864504,0.0,0.0,0.15001863686677225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663921790273167,0.0,0.13160151559318745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619053490499008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198222093084716,0.0,0.1814929156772601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zanicholls1697,2019/01/06,"Recently diagnosed with depression and I want out I've recently been diagnosed with depression. I already have anxiety and social anxiety and I feel so trapped and alone with it all that i want to turn to old bad habits. 
Everything I feel feels insignificant and small and stupid and I know i should just be able to get on with life but i can't. I feel mentally crippled and for now i can't see a way out. I start CBT in two weeks time but I'm just so fucking sad that i want to run away from everything. I want to leave my life.

I'm not entirely sure what posting here will do but i don't know where else to go. I just don't want to feel so alone with it all. I don't feel as if I can confide in my family and friends no matter how supportive they have been in the past.",1.127743902439022,3.075251347560976,2.941646341463418,92.22881097560978,81.25609756097559,7.7585365853658566,23.054878048780488,8.660442795831766,1.4380682926829271,607,21,142,15,16,202,87,164,0.2,0.71,0.09,-0.9508,0,3,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,10,9,2,0,2,0,14,5,0,1,3,43,36,18,0,7,8,0,6,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,5,16,0,0,8,0,0,2,7,6,0,1,2,7,20,3,22,31,2,21,0,3,1,1,3,9,1,1,8,91,25,0,0.12643524998868658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26189757622393195,0.1395244423741746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344524034569532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187900793582917,0.0,0.10556815253663313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21779699109573816,0.25665823459482584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562042754862416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22726370019569864,0.0,0.11919190124024602,0.0,0.3835767680908645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097683560505061,0.11688735126406515,0.0660571996965897,0.0,0.07185606627004996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897101365267595,0.0,0.0,0.1338766739291031,0.0,0.0,0.17860991240314775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741699410042875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326725261648136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069675256094142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109001955797585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496791122032332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100752524613984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888481499698556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949152070065268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434772233616619,0.11916372681461553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737254110337498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375252451916904,0.12350886747858113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3728739313384893,0.10035841636455307,0.10141873108421133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,youbroughtheflames,2019/01/06,"Seeking connection and intimacy as a Gay Man So I am 27 years old, French and American and currently living in London. I've been seeing a therapist for the past couple weeks and it's helped me a bit.

One of the things I've learned from my therapy is that I have this tendency where things are either shit or wonderful and there's usually no grey area. I also have this tendency to put a lot of pressure on meeting new people. I feel disconnected a lot of the time even though I have some close friends and I've also split myself between having this Hollywood fantasy of meeting someone in real life who will sweep me off my feet and this perverse fantasy of being with someone I shouldn't be with (someone attached with a bf/gf/husband/wife and straight/bi and well hung). These two visions naturally conflict with each other. And then fundamentally I am just scared to be hurt and make myself available to people who can hurt me. I am scared to be openly gay, to ask out cute guys I see on the street, to figure out what a date looks like, to try and meet someone in real life and not just having sex and casual encounters with guys I meet on apps. 

I think this challenge has become more important to me since Craigslist closed its Personals Section and Tumblr banned porn towards the end of 2018. Now that it's 2019, I want to try something new and be more confident. I want to take more risks meeting new guys in real life, even if it's in a situation I wouldn't normally try or enjoy like a club or sauna. I don't do drugs, smoke or drink much but I am indifferent to other people doing them. I just want some help on how to be more confident and help me figure out what I want even if that changes in each situation and person.. ",6.518706460027622,6.1825089970845495,6.965978210833208,77.27367807273286,65.44314868804665,10.25312260242443,32.62989105416603,9.811843763644266,2.936315451895044,1378,50,269,26,19,451,182,343,0.07,0.8109999999999999,0.119,0.9011,2,0,4,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,1,15,15,1,4,14,0,26,11,2,2,0,67,39,32,0,9,12,0,1,2,1,3,4,0,1,6,21,31,1,2,6,5,0,1,5,7,1,2,1,5,28,8,42,29,14,37,0,2,4,4,19,22,1,11,16,189,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407657013698846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421420846709025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948813560286457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834586104029364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952944705460642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996736629352394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824574964096359,0.10446614703037843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978562873654571,0.0,0.0,0.17849429551543272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554800286976431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959688069261798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26758507047440866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811395490590455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19286859806884105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190882058860817,0.08801871499381837,0.0,0.07954377173492302,0.0,0.07564592157301832,0.0,0.0,0.1531684419679838,0.0,0.0,0.06013021932489795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622039800103684,0.0,0.0,0.2610043368170901,0.0,0.0,0.08826091794266915,0.0,0.0,0.09452556732104757,0.0,0.06104167610558099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599315426811313,0.18735387881779672,0.15731169261772293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905569667613032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30759801165314343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037494840024648,0.0,0.1435668683406806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246754759589973,0.07451649462776515,0.2025111598985787,0.0,0.0,0.3053036525760014,0.06934927644505147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773021078725107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301624908511416,0.10459177079257767,0.11969252778417845,0.05772070169731694,0.08850479091827536,0.0,0.052527350653483434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834786380165768,0.0,0.08799670968117325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921224128434024,0.0,0.21253002964737552,0.0,0.07225808816519197,0.0,0.08099424657900525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768973678080344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058009646960693585
mentalhealth,whoknows--1,2019/01/06,"Seeing different colour lights I see red/blue/yellow lights

​

Yellow has the biggest shape, Blue is a little smaller and Red is a small dot. I can see them moving.

I was talking to someone and in the middle of the conversation they pop up and start moving. I was tracking them with my eyes, The person i was talking to didn't say anything, maybe he didn't wanted to say anything. It's not the first time happening.

​

did someone experience this? thank you",2.6190511860174794,5.0569565730337125,3.7790262172284654,85.58204744069914,78.7752808988764,5.7533083645443215,24.495630461922595,6.937597516519254,1.0808941323345822,361,13,67,4,9,117,58,89,0.0,0.963,0.037000000000000005,0.4357,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,7,0,10,1,1,0,0,6,17,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,6,12,10,1,7,11,0,12,0,0,8,0,11,7,0,0,3,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040832308304844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19303472092932272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073058762916536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715663549802633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16338252670720438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851779095893902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856161044760284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927409655554217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132517601206944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938568996283463,0.0,0.0,0.44168904267360026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130928456070925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307739740091493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970059404856395,0.0,0.17010204820524052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107734955343888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897614751381313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jocc_mutton,2019/01/06,My anxiety is the worst it’s been for as long as I can remember and i thought reddit would be a great place to turn to I’ve had a few attacks recently and I don’t know why and don’t know who to talk to so I feel like Reddit will be a great place to try x,-0.04180327868852629,0.8594271147540979,2.7089836065573785,97.37003278688525,81.13114754098359,6.847213114754098,20.39672131147541,7.554174236665415,0.23123344262295165,198,5,55,3,5,70,41,61,0.139,0.6859999999999999,0.175,0.507,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,4,0,10,0,0,0,0,9,15,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,5,3,8,8,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,35,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685440488064264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25064558610895243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140031395376844,0.15739651366955196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4858067285688681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421640074048623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763712859326703,0.0,0.0,0.19497609554878306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4603746098847389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21753922917888616,0.0,0.2495793918010433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770847147682174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174909316270864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958268633130853,0.23964468287027374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19880435666596066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650886913816642,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heckityno,2019/01/06,"Can someone explain what borderline feels like Additionally, what’s the difference between borderline and bipolar? ",15.418749999999996,18.364078375000005,12.775000000000002,31.97,46.5,16.400000000000002,66.0,14.554592549557764,11.487700000000002,98,8,8,4,1,30,14,16,0.0,0.848,0.152,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6228022800024783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30140832284721003,0.4258571410025439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912265257964169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5050773693918934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throaway23231,2019/01/06,"I think I'm unwell.. 1. I think so much I can no longer distinguish between reality and my imagned scenarios, everything has a deeper meaning, initally that was great, I would think about the different ways in which things exist, I really enjoyed just being in my own head, but now it feels very much like a prison. I am not in control at all. 
2. I play the victim of my own mind.
3. When I tried therapy, my brain literally shut down, I could not tell my therapist what I thought was wrong with me, everything that came out of my mouth sounded unconvincing, as if I was attempting to fake a mental illness, so I stopped going.
4. When I hear/read stories/shows, I always see the character's negative traits as my own, and I'll brew up some evidence in my own mind as to why this is the case. Within a few moments I'm convinced I'm exactly like BoJack, or some other flawed character in a TV show. 
5. I want someone to tell me I’m fine and it’s normal even though I won’t believe them, because I want an excuse to be unhappy with myself. Moves I make to change my bad habits (negative thinking, inactivity, self-pity), are shortlived, since I begin to believe what's wrong with me is me, how do I change myself without becoming one of those deluded people who believe in themselves without anything to really show for it.
6. I never say what I mean/want because I have no idea what that is, so I'll get into situations I've put myself in through talking when I really should've stayed silent to consider my options. Having said this though, I rarely stick to one decision and it usually takes me really long to make that decision and then I'll switch back and forth when I don't like something.
7. I want help, but I don't want help. I feel that if I actually do change, I won't be myself anymore, so I don't want to change, I like being a deep thinker but I don't want that to go away. I've tried every day of my life to employ methods to ""fix"" myself but I feel like I'm just fundamentally flawed as a person. - See? Another excuse, well done me.
8. Writing helped for a short period, but then it became too much to write it all down, it would take days, and once I've written everything down, it wouldn't repeat, I'd just think of new shit. Much like an infinite timelines sort of effect. How do I turn my brain off ?

​

I hope no one reads this, but I also hope everyone reads this, I'm not really sure what I want to get out of posting this.. Sympathy ? A reality-check ? A slap ? Pity ? Advice.. I think. I really want to delete this before I even send it but I know I'll write it again and again and delete it over and over, so here goes, first time.",2.9700519682993414,4.495357135940413,4.574319864882423,84.51014031440822,74.47486033519553,8.123840457321036,25.70997358278117,8.775028230273154,1.822869594214196,2070,71,430,42,43,696,258,537,0.108,0.7559999999999999,0.136,0.6044,2,0,2,0,0,0,87.0,0,0,1,4,27,22,2,0,16,0,30,7,5,7,5,89,73,40,0,17,18,0,3,6,0,5,2,3,0,1,33,17,0,2,18,6,0,6,18,7,1,5,8,8,67,15,58,55,13,56,0,1,2,0,17,23,1,9,30,279,100,3,0.0,0.0,0.06306621735238878,0.0,0.0,0.06315234378165424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05168185084848479,0.053774489784766996,0.07002286995179463,0.07852836565324059,0.0,0.06776660162763894,0.0,0.0,0.06409219941225294,0.0,0.0,0.05318216691685679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607187971386084,0.04969384910105039,0.05396049293675356,0.07879152386379001,0.07137497763213413,0.054992457661759205,0.21843606687452444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428926804133796,0.0,0.07391558818740772,0.0,0.0,0.2734654001696079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724842022150468,0.051599063591678464,0.0,0.0,0.08335759240355682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752101864462919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613542686936003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537049014389021,0.0,0.054450679044999915,0.06175346451631983,0.17424660270911266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803141850989322,0.046169240031470056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497133398853491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752943898326991,0.0,0.07345754686921205,0.0,0.0,0.07125103008091024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632551350209351,0.0,0.07283884999962892,0.0,0.12995349831454647,0.0,0.0,0.12837754755437428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295553986437885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03551707698027822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04564766307395497,0.18943968873748052,0.0,0.0,0.05719248759657886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627748491461999,0.0,0.0,0.14079457812076265,0.0,0.0,0.06512839000183034,0.0,0.13050884104832491,0.0,0.0,0.06868782447559431,0.19003188259480994,0.0,0.04984400083473138,0.06241675146931928,0.0,0.0,0.0633203246374661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882519608146923,0.13137792482277771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04480393174148085,0.05642943489605326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189439701336179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496756058252863,0.0,0.0,0.19393219974952125,0.0,0.24840864324790946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147467474284912,0.051393648518608274,0.0,0.0,0.1029980304127498,0.0,0.06741961508798035,0.0,0.06633825331395203,0.05345977291717023,0.07264298109734807,0.0,0.0,0.05475788957541162,0.04975269689271082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888333300273065,0.0,0.054030712755012485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060909784670769684,0.0,0.09718228712732216,0.05194439515479463,0.1129729549064995,0.0,0.073906123877395,0.07503643781832597,0.04293502658161857,0.24846060895155375,0.1269905689527611,0.05130628384567585,0.037684277177867785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775440813487667,0.07029515856324549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117704497720817,0.053323694856321414,0.3430658695704141,0.05129756926933101,0.0,0.0,0.05810705470433605,0.0,0.05831543436522961,0.0,0.0,0.12459542942187166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918177331610335,0.14131803495898834,0.07852836565324059,0.0
mentalhealth,energytanks,2019/01/06,"I hate being wrong, I think that it's some sort of complex and I want to fix it. Some examples:

- I shared my class notes with a classmate, I am very confident in those notes and think they're perfect, then my classmate points out a mistake in the first page, I will then proceed to find loopholes or ways to make the question look wrong or make my answer seem ""right at a very technical and sophisticated level but school is too stupid to realize"" and I will try to save face in that manner, wasting hours trying to do it.

- I will act passive aggressive or jokeful, and try to make the other person forget that I did something wrong.

I don't know where this stems from, superiority, the need to be right all the time, inferiority, or something else. What can I do to deal with the issue?

",7.157205882352944,6.402135071895425,7.2164624183006545,77.38783088235296,64.29411764705883,9.741503267973856,32.85049019607843,8.841846274778883,2.48583725490196,618,21,123,8,8,199,95,153,0.166,0.716,0.118,-0.8348,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,2,13,3,0,9,0,12,1,1,3,2,35,23,12,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,9,1,0,1,1,8,0,1,1,1,14,5,18,17,4,18,0,1,1,0,4,10,0,9,6,81,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802410347489726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804508601752293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009439306711607,0.1303791916781688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133145615151272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094911595015126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998364009199936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423822839056025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871590633165747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30694512740603114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365456931705464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383746718130826,0.0,0.0,0.1448983687235386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170776049406875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617991633751189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551267127176874,0.0,0.13953960814444175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360036016602209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643021800978092,0.0,0.0,0.089378322135155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121995038688967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25294275136603084,0.09040803132509333,0.12166587803354308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5027601614509546,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,empire17,2019/01/06,"Preparing for Homesickness Hi. I’m 18 years old and have been in boarding school for two years. I have struggled with homesickness greatly yet I am now in a place where I understand it really well but cannot help feel it. Homesickness peaks at the start of the school year and just after Christmas break.

So, tomorrow I start school and was looking for some advice with how to prepare for it. Usually the first 2 or 3 days are hell.

There are also external contributing factors such as instability at home (parents separating) and the fact that I believe the next 6 months of school is useless for what I am trying to achieve in life. I will be going straight into business after my exams (a decision a lot of my family and extended family do not approve of).

Any help will be appreciated.",6.841546546546546,7.429064986486491,7.3273873873873905,71.81821321321327,64.67567567567568,11.172372372372372,35.36336336336336,10.980518767755715,4.098430030030029,630,28,111,17,9,207,100,148,0.16,0.7859999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9483,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,10,8,1,1,8,0,15,1,0,1,1,19,22,11,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,5,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,6,1,2,2,2,9,2,22,16,2,27,1,4,1,0,4,9,1,3,16,81,14,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121213688047385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155634796625326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827080719690033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16281171279916082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931960956921548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724597047843417,0.0,0.07306789297252504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229189460731666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212757074593628,0.0,0.0,0.15932124779798154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937221444019853,0.0,0.1449539138953568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207070173927013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135083325408436,0.0,0.0,0.12285604877655705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534539027118668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368654143505567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163747257876758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045970504184695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098073572883386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257591308064493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5850016951208279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045678696042864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107177072091255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811185738609944,0.0,0.1411639097174667,0.15043855476510534,0.0,0.0,0.1591558130102053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299305911907193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791764122535185
mentalhealth,tfaltfal,2019/01/06,How to help my girlfriend My girlfriend has bulimia for around 4 years. How do I get her help when the doctors aren’t open on weekends and the weekends are the only day off she gets in the week? She’s been refused help before because she is not over/under weight,3.8572641509433967,5.263716566037736,4.049198113207549,89.63153301886793,72.01886792452831,6.054716981132076,28.34433962264151,5.985473137389443,1.0719094339622641,210,8,42,1,4,65,41,53,0.041,0.81,0.149,0.7096,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,6,2,0,2,0,7,8,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,7,0,6,7,0,11,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,6,28,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613026482939457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17893228452720086,0.0,0.2497711834637089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18930163690247245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004389169896495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067131132278999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5902380153459578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22324169526736015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354509038631527,0.3574387065980144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890227676444006
mentalhealth,tncta00,2019/01/06,"I need help.. I don’t know what to do.. I don’t eat some days. I don’t sleep much. I’m seeing a therapist, it helps but it’s not enough. I plan on seeing a psychiatrist soon. I don’t know what else to do. I was just wanting on some advice..",-2.9598989898989885,-1.3992101818181797,0.5242424242424271,102.18858585858587,105.36363636363636,3.8989898989898992,11.565656565656564,5.82211442006289,-1.3554040404040406,180,3,49,2,9,64,32,55,0.0,0.956,0.044,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,7,2,1,0,0,9,14,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,4,13,4,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,2,2,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657974623138961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754189567537309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783262193849141,0.2272229872675655,0.0,0.0,0.28105104735279435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364634765208866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989706593568319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19995295949374514,0.2016862306867099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4335011729998736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721986987021563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31581559066346765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043398141695234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sophillaaa,2019/01/06,My memory has gotten so bad. Maybe since last year maybe more my memory has really taken a tumble. I can’t remember little things in the moment. I can’t remember events from the past. Yknow when you walk into a room and forget what you’re doing? Imagine just standing up and forgetting what you’re doing. I lose my train of thought mid sentence. I go to google and forget what i’m googling. Anyone else feel like this? anything that could help?,2.2576744186046507,4.96192220930233,3.2686511627907002,86.94553488372094,82.72093023255816,6.2306976744186064,19.06511627906977,7.554174236665415,0.7987339534883722,354,9,65,6,10,113,63,86,0.134,0.79,0.076,-0.7211,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,14,13,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,1,8,1,6,9,1,15,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,7,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041967917303434,0.22041992572871594,0.17702869457945242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796195261917663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17175898235657794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970846980458782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877314115280792,0.15368460456442806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225990762651433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419306004475305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535474481159452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509870364115173,0.2156107294047813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406686917977661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43224187770660055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20536016769222304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781392142589224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4873870359911763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795276801782406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429188043307967,0.0,0.0,0.17078439972411066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853278123130866
mentalhealth,SpacewaveSound,2019/01/06,"Improving my mental health Hey everyone, i've been subscribed to and following this sub reddit for a little while and decided to make a post on here today.

I've set myself a goal of improving my mental health this year which towards the later part of the year has dropped for various reasons. I graduated last year and have started the process of looking for work alongside running a business (alongside being diagnosed with Aspergers). I haven't had much luck over the last five to six months with finding work which I feel like is bringing my down a bit, and it's making me worry about the future of my life, finances and if i'll ever be able to find work. 

I've previously tried a technique to help with my anxiety where I think about the thing that is worrying me, take a deep breath, let it go and move on which has turned into a habit of constantly going over that thing, overthinking about it and then beating myself up for it whether it's something that has happened in the past or something thats more recent even if I haven't done anything wrong. I'm starting to feel fed up, tired and like i'm losing the motivation and interest I had for the things I love doing in my spare time. I don't want to keep second guessing myself, the way I feel and the way I think about things. I

Does anyone have any tips on how I can get myself and my mental health back on track? currently i'm trying to get myself out of the mindset of thinking to myself or talking to myself about things, and to stop beating myself up for things. My plan alongside this is to start exercising more as well as be healthier and more productive. I'm hoping once I start getting all of these things started it'll all fall in place and my mental health will start to improve. 

Many thanks

​",9.43339113680154,7.047690855491332,8.718716763005785,73.63794026974955,60.96531791907515,11.538805394990368,38.095568400770716,9.725611199111238,3.5261108285163782,1420,52,267,20,15,449,175,346,0.07,0.8240000000000001,0.105,0.9231,1,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,9,12,10,0,0,20,0,23,11,1,5,3,47,59,24,0,4,5,0,3,2,0,2,8,0,0,0,24,19,1,2,11,1,1,7,3,2,1,3,5,4,32,8,53,48,9,57,0,1,1,1,4,20,0,7,27,190,56,7,0.07990186328528975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657363548696557,0.09708950958638277,0.05433600698563843,0.0,0.061124706712229485,0.0,0.0,0.0558692406199316,0.0,0.06575242540382219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143960081870861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723214030638045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634552855442995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109870931356013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992265901011191,0.081767347475253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052774427127513915,0.0722758098095477,0.0,0.07634965448822076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120234857823264,0.05708190709615819,0.0,0.0,0.14605771099690293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523627721632088,0.0,0.09082014048838433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880209106244654,0.0,0.07065695382322593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33972777717075703,0.0,0.0,0.0535565347011373,0.0,0.0,0.07936057901035902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102044735682074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026136587428605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170506872607236,0.05643704901722772,0.07807202880436696,0.08008265798451569,0.0,0.0,0.06709744136115077,0.08938974691114755,0.0,0.0,0.07211455119199588,0.0,0.10667022838213516,0.08100794827794193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220891402910505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377690496607702,0.08492303561160118,0.0587370631409091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509287668411737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652593155823311,0.07627536959009235,0.0,0.0,0.083480440888426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652389811227643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215242309381601,0.07889345056161302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302471601773128,0.0,0.0,0.3393297005157688,0.0,0.0,0.06680153547510385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060076257280959874,0.06422209107992775,0.0,0.0735629005592056,0.0,0.0,0.3715827329587297,0.15359366309213968,0.0,0.0,0.046591419035415985,0.09183543780752014,0.07573762371480569,0.0,0.0,0.10849624054931367,0.08691028285676385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04712818915155766,0.1268447599005219,0.0,0.0,0.07184137092149318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450852429486932,0.16228844138990686,0.0,0.0,0.0873601442978285,0.09708950958638277,0.1543625408107071
mentalhealth,WorriedWindow,2019/01/06,"not even motivated to play games i used to use video games as a way to escape reality, such as school, stress, etc. Now that I dropped out of school and literally got nothing to do the entire day but sit on my PC, playing games is starting to feel unfun, it's like I rewarded myself to play games whenever I get home from school, it felt refreshing and exciting, now that im out of school for about 1 year now, I don't get that same excitement feeling when i play video games.",20.919374999999995,6.48971385416667,18.24875,49.72125000000001,56.29166666666666,22.53333333333333,61.54166666666666,14.554592549557764,7.794454166666666,374,13,80,8,2,123,64,96,0.034,0.6890000000000001,0.277,0.9769,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,3,0,13,12,6,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,4,11,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,8,8,16,10,2,13,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,8,46,13,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521147586215273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992367950594747,0.11799357300215488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065691969134864,0.0,0.17152755739618086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18666965071975236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287901100968545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179195858236852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929676405182043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872770973704397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17141503747698816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7231945520482281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644610268298095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046376520801832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30858445932006423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180036858666414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150417523493466
mentalhealth,dangflabbitity,2019/01/06,"AFOM - Demons A song I made with my experience of mental illness.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2rmtrEMNLs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2rmtrEMNLs)

Hope it helps someone.",24.193235294117645,31.539636411764704,6.8910294117647055,53.227132352941204,67.23529411764707,6.405882352941178,27.77941176470589,7.1686216300943375,2.855600000000001,157,4,12,2,4,30,17,17,0.131,0.584,0.285,0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4365243986630541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991162647988006,0.0,0.0,0.4432333066042192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4222586049690068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497215004375089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3781116078557058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Generic_Scotsman,2019/01/06,"Getting over it Pre story
Hi I'm a 19 year old university student who works in the army doing officer training part time. I broke up with my long term girlfriend in late August and that's where I started to develop mental health problems. Since then I didn't really attend uni didn't go to work with the OTC (army job) and drank too much etc. I met a girl who helped me out greatly who wanted a relationship with me and I didn't want one with her. I screwed up a couple times in interesting fashions and I nearly lost her entirely as a friend. She told me that she had a boyfriend now and then I realised I actually loved her. 

Recent story 
I signed up to do a camp away in the cold for 9 days on a military base, I'd been out of the OTC loop and was very stressed about making sure everything was perfect for when I got there. I cried a huge amount before the camps and on the day of the camp (departing 1800 hours) I self harmed in a variety of ways. I went to see my counselor straight afterwords and told him the details of what had happened. (I also have to attend this camp in order to catch up on stuff I've missed throughout the year) he told me that maybe being too busy to be sad and depressed would be good for me but maybe the stressful situations wouldn't be good for me either. I decided to attend and the girl I've been speaking of is also in attendance of the camp. Every time I saw her I wanted her to be mine and to sit with me and to hold my hand and hug etc were on different training programs so we didn't have alot of time together not that she was as invested into seeing me as I was into seeing her. I spoke to the staff on the camp about my lack of mental well-being (mostly about the self harm) and they agreed that it would be a problem throughout the camp but to see how it goes. First day of camp I have a couple meetings with the staff and I try to catch up on all the stuff I've missed but dont feel great at times but alright overall. I see the girl every so often and my mood plummets and I want to hurt myself. I ended up having a meeting mid day with two staff members about it which didn't achieve much but gave me the idea to ask the girl a question I already knew the answer too (but wished I didn't). I asked her if she wanted me to get over her and she said ""sorry but yes"" this made me incredibly sad and depressed and I went to the barracks crying in front of a peer. I found an empty room and called my ex and friends I talk to about this stuff and they didn't really help much. I texted a staff member saying I needed another meeting and we had another one where I said that I couldn't bear to be around this girl anymore cause of the emotions I feel when I see her. They needed other people to be there and chat to me so I talked to my ex on messenger while I was waiting. I told her I just didn't care anymore and that I just wanted to drink 6 pints and walk off a bridge. This was my first proper suicidal thought. I asked to be taken off the camp and there was a lot of kerfuffle over whether I'd be safe at home (in my flat) and the decision was made that if there wasn't someone there who could take care of me then it wasn't safe for me. I ended up being driven home to my parents by two staff members and that's where I am now. 

Issues
Depression, grief/loss, shame, anxiety is what I've been feeling. Throughout the last 3 and s bit months. 

Any words or opinions appreciated chaps",3.1980769230769246,4.209909125874127,4.246066433566437,89.11063811188811,73.12587412587413,7.1783216783216774,24.65909090909091,7.468242284971852,0.947902097902098,2695,78,591,30,52,877,304,715,0.123,0.8009999999999999,0.076,-0.9856,3,0,1,0,0,2,46.0,2,0,3,8,30,35,1,3,47,2,51,7,1,5,3,107,108,57,1,19,15,3,4,0,3,3,1,5,3,7,30,45,2,4,11,2,1,13,14,18,0,6,47,17,92,16,97,45,15,93,0,10,7,3,66,44,1,9,33,405,122,11,0.0,0.0,0.061129250596563926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912665957883582,0.10018906934463867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04259849541375472,0.1313705418489492,0.04792071929827724,0.0,0.1242474428826088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05576438247290396,0.17568456475381616,0.0,0.05885392722173995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053303462082450084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838849843632275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396416645591994,0.0,0.1277347500282583,0.06435026826589955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500142900789384,0.13862367098492032,0.13761790406252752,0.16159482426831334,0.0,0.16185958034930534,0.0,0.0,0.06544723058622548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341559094117074,0.0613650055782271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046346683015578,0.11096388375418692,0.0,0.1397240797606783,0.0,0.0,0.10555664646561512,0.0,0.056298309352578776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502055775667853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656597437059642,0.0,0.06868337681470771,0.09679362437977863,0.0,0.06545539230913335,0.0,0.035600714449753025,0.10508175052278954,0.05010027973117296,0.13812536270385026,0.0,0.0,0.05539383716922944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658518430310241,0.0,0.0,0.08397480508444419,0.0,0.12566943963134394,0.0,0.06168944374695611,0.0,0.06705922180112173,0.07071484014742961,0.0,0.06538164668117605,0.06216220883751381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05106133579388564,0.07066255171239086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543592200872216,0.0,0.0,0.068380801415918,0.05325572242297881,0.056536568449521325,0.11854615820157112,0.041813812668656136,0.0,0.12586398894121653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625617455783042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04999999713668657,0.0,0.13814654334942786,0.0928960347509997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573191331640693,0.0,0.0848952569378934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955618056155699,0.06783484291785488,0.0,0.04342785862410041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987926953187268,0.0,0.0,0.07017302595805001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025973778537149,0.0,0.061851109022649314,0.06725372912332411,0.0,0.0,0.11917317877811627,0.049815183964679856,0.0,0.0,0.2995038870116259,0.0,0.13069788291911658,0.0,0.0,0.051817851025202165,0.07041188106730567,0.0,0.0,0.05307609833789287,0.0,0.0,0.07012224034033875,0.04433810865967242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435116822309561,0.0,0.21512923507093168,0.06851983870835124,0.0,0.05903904891136137,0.0,0.04709875296752905,0.1006980307939496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973050254237206,0.182634357970496,0.0,0.0,0.23942726652091806,0.0,0.04252959374316143,0.0,0.12238365252538325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05168595236009208,0.221686140826854,0.049722055618748116,0.0,0.0,0.056322399813551936,0.11613894334582735,0.0,0.0,0.07203484889079548,0.0,0.0,0.09120778877256508,0.0,0.0,0.08899771470750274,0.0,0.0,0.08067838561782717
mentalhealth,greensweet,2019/01/06,"What are mental wards like? I'm planning on killing myself soon (will be 2nd attempt) and was wondering what mental wards are like and if they are as bad as everyone says. I live in Australia by the way.

From what I've heard I'd much rather cease to exist then try to get help via one of those terror-houses. 

After my 1st attempt a few months ago the mental health team that visited me in the physcial hopsital let me go home because I convinced them I wouldn't try anything again. I've been through a good year of therapy and 3 different anti-deps but nothing works.

Obviously I want to live if I could get better, but I've realised that I cannot, so I have to die so the pain can end.

So here's you chance to tell me what mental wards are like, and if they are as bad as everyone says. Should I go admit myself, or would death be preferable? 
My main fears are being trapped in a building I can't leave, being abused by staff, being abused by other patients, being forced to eat something I don't want (I'm vegan so I don't know how many hospitals actually accomodate that and I'd rather die than eat a dead body.), and generally being in a place I don't want to be in.
",6.6112932226832655,5.196272394190874,7.078184647302907,80.08610131396959,65.72199170124482,10.19100968188105,32.116528354080216,9.075114841892004,2.427995573997234,921,29,196,13,12,303,135,241,0.204,0.684,0.112,-0.9853,1,1,1,0,2,1,25.0,0,1,3,6,10,11,1,1,9,0,29,5,1,1,1,28,42,22,5,13,8,0,0,3,0,4,2,3,1,0,9,6,2,0,4,1,0,3,6,5,0,1,3,3,23,6,26,25,3,19,0,0,0,0,12,7,0,5,11,123,32,3,0.0,0.2639786128618264,0.1087091136169011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874827325662557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167168205845473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18602661151242628,0.06790764595803914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852314444280916,0.0,0.12373890170505818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894283979600394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312286363619511,0.11638798703201228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22797747041555644,0.0,0.0,0.0986662303944927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21289256505844986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125354567997385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640250142003833,0.0,0.12662095720763158,0.09343598886918868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841166536425905,0.0,0.0,0.07466823605551529,0.0,0.11174203231459193,0.0,0.0,0.12853920445909814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324621526867867,0.0,0.0612218414054453,0.0,0.0,0.1179551948820119,0.0,0.11391277259842797,0.0,0.1632714114709237,0.0,0.19673427991299275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112940850974473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4490549676594261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891742196300237,0.0,0.08189090127446151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689010809414723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548667816088213,0.0,0.11853612755404365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638798703201228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717751945637655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576020263013412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736742035712499,0.0,0.1273941827314649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512648819734054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971176125606996,0.08842314507006557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120807195844997,0.08109961905029815,0.0,0.0,0.07913447805563552,0.0,0.0,0.0717371446808602
mentalhealth,Tehepicnoid,2019/01/06,"I keep coming to the conclusion of suicide I’ve struggled with this for 2 years, I’ve gone to a therapist and I was good for a few months but then the thoughts just keep coming back. It’s like I have good and bad cycle. Sometimes I won’t think about it at all for weeks but then I’ll think about it constantly for weeks. It’s really really annoying and it’s cutting away at me. It seems like whenever I start thinking about my future I keep coming to the conclusion I’ll probably just end up killing myself in the end. I don’t know what to do. Sorry if this was all over the place, I just needed to get this off my chest",1.261972988843219,3.3012738702290108,2.9323664122137423,91.98707574867883,81.29007633587786,6.778860833822668,20.763945977686433,7.882392219407189,0.8045180270111567,491,14,109,9,13,162,72,131,0.16899999999999998,0.74,0.091,-0.8911,0,0,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,3,1,7,0,6,1,1,0,2,27,22,8,2,2,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,3,8,0,0,4,2,5,0,0,4,0,12,4,21,17,3,24,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,2,14,71,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939577289548305,0.11408514051718227,0.1238803298683464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834153538594492,0.0,0.16033212499588578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628184229936276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751568528920807,0.0,0.0,0.24888656582162286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956264823499065,0.16414621196805793,0.0,0.08153867714724826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496933993580785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842520244028518,0.0,0.0,0.11001232351286433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501203950355666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996482605468176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009552478679784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350678341072303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146738854057073,0.16608481966847685,0.10501499589063833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551055052011517,0.0,0.16228952469795918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17226563663855096,0.0,0.28520293756660864,0.0,0.11778690336596699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23802227394632994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554354696488816
mentalhealth,throwawaymyname4get,2019/01/06,"How do you obtain a sense of belonging? I feel like I don't belong in the society I'm in. I feel left out. My thoughts and ideas have always been different. I feel more connected with people I meet online than with those I meet in real life. Is it me or is it society that is making me extremely disconnected? I just feel very alone. Everyday, I want to die. I feel like I would never satisfy society",1.2703703703703724,3.632626160493828,3.944691358024688,82.81111111111113,83.69135802469137,8.538271604938272,22.58024691358025,9.150863307647796,2.2367135802469136,313,11,63,10,9,110,55,81,0.116,0.799,0.085,-0.5376,1,1,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,8,1,0,2,1,19,17,3,1,2,2,0,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,14,2,9,14,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,4,43,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246461025643562,0.0,0.0,0.18048067903717646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251110785380164,0.22661747871602486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5483633922100329,0.3099111056138945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448570953801369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356657536818764,0.0,0.15320500968065742,0.2119357077849771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478444263567308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728897201234302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037323564766586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468831100959192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721967606648454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789676981587336,0.12793501433769536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540816741812384,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bunnyytea,2019/01/06,"My (f/21) mom (f/45) is suffering from depression. How can i support her all the way from college? So to keep this as concise as possible my mother (f/45) suffers from anxiety and depression and has been for many years. About a week after Thanksgiving she had a really bad panic attack and suffered from dysphasia (the inability to speak) for a day. Because of the health problems and extreme stress due to juggling two jobs to pay for my school and financial issues she took off work for the month of December and I was able to stay with her all month because of winter break. However now that it's the beginning of the year and I am preparing to go back to college and she's about to start work again in a few days, I'm extremely nervous to leave her at home by herself after I've been with her the entire month.

The reason why I feel so concerned is that during this break she told me she had seriously contemplated suicide a couple of days before her panic attack and the only reason she didn't go through with it is because my sister and I's birthdays were coming up. Because she's struggling so much mental health wise I feel really uneasy leaving her alone at home especially when she begins to go back to work which was a major stress factor for her that contributed to the panic attack. I stay at school an hour away and come home at least twice a month to check on her and spend time together. But it's just not feasible for me to stay at home permanently during this time as I've signed a lease at school as well as convenience factors. Also there isn't any family available to temporarily move in or watch over her.

She's on medication for her depression and she's seeking counseling, healing, working on coping mechanisms, working out, etc. So she's improved a lot more since her incident and actively working on improving but I just fear her going back into that dark place when I leave as she'll be home alone and I've been a major confidant this month for her.

What's a good way to be supportive of her while being away at school and making sure that she's safe as well? We've talked about having more open communication and telling each other about when we're feeling depressed or overwhelmed so the other person can help when needed. But I still feel a bit nervous tbh. Am I over reacting since she's improving and we've been planning more open communication and systems to check up on each other more? Or is it normal to still feel a little concerned? Im just really afraid of losing my mother to depression as my dad already passed away when I was younger. She's my best friend and the person I'm the closest too and I don't want to lose my only living parent either. How can I still be there for her to the fullest extent while being long distance? Any suggestions?

TL;DR: My mom suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts and I'm going back to college soon. How do I comfort her and make sure she's safe and healthy while away at school?",5.412525306577481,6.4991993165217385,5.900173913043478,79.02121293199555,68.00869565217391,8.95830546265329,29.87402452619844,9.197007762596977,2.542354292084726,2377,87,438,44,39,767,250,575,0.152,0.745,0.103,-0.968,3,2,0,0,0,1,42.0,0,0,0,10,36,42,3,11,28,0,31,4,0,8,4,74,59,56,2,4,11,7,5,0,1,1,4,1,5,2,18,36,0,3,8,0,4,10,4,29,2,2,14,7,59,13,88,39,19,89,0,13,1,0,49,31,0,4,40,307,77,16,0.055827198655083454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156402824089532,0.061606701947121326,0.0446449905946589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592881896334212,0.0,0.042707654165376495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19053449383870066,0.20980596342181107,0.17171067903376666,0.04661337897334901,0.13612696852325976,0.0,0.04750483418800388,0.0,0.05858720072406274,0.0,0.06094884181366751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961803767267166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177173346156085,0.0,0.10801177399084899,0.0,0.288503306383367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06226208375391661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05262891439856935,0.06282111937207692,0.14113954529821715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04313195519556354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863941766990894,0.04682520552838409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118683403145703,0.0,0.0,0.037419794471660536,0.0,0.2799961606129859,0.0,0.054978545142459166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030295454287753,0.058269091034342774,0.055399880387102016,0.04962177926947138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733882769379522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559535193837182,0.04929643921413192,0.0494053140302592,0.0,0.12491271050133355,0.0,0.04746228789703564,0.0,0.0,0.07453017721514059,0.05660001701094234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056240029325816926,0.05626068554706645,0.0,0.0,0.1307682806701597,0.2228036867197226,0.059335477103378435,0.041039414571292135,0.041395160418878765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469880144536857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491820049421935,0.0,0.19650356693948007,0.061989497402937625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749231302036758,0.058327540381027915,0.0,0.0,0.06293677829287055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341908948504902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729299898670364,0.11479931644846372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825005275541704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236167125967544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03951477854908261,0.17851309716353714,0.13375101888264607,0.0,0.12789973487796585,0.05836270941865994,0.0,0.12213178841532307,0.12670408690310667,0.105232948089317,0.0,0.0,0.0448717875822561,0.048795432307929466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04432055977353321,0.06510657697243642,0.0,0.0,0.053345280736971326,0.062026071854832075,0.0,0.0,0.054535061076781216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032928328199609606,0.08862606350040539,0.0447812113163962,0.0,0.1003907123358942,0.0,0.05037536342093781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438571931177661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190177113453547
mentalhealth,LittleCowboys,2019/01/06,"I thought it was just anxiety but there may be more at play Few years ago I was diagnosed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and depression. I was not in therapy very long and since then I have been struggling to place symptoms that I do not understand.

My mom told me when I was a small child I would hit myself in the face and head to ""punish myself."" While that may not be all that unusual for kids to do, it is something I still suffer from. It it less about punishment and more about relief from the brain fire. 

Another symptom carried over from childhood is rocking/bouncing/rhythmic movement. As a kid I HAD to bounce in the car, I needed to slam my back against the back seat rhythmically. These days it takes the form of restless bouncing legs all day, even in bed, disguising rocking back and forth as bobbing to music, etc. 

There are a handful of other symptoms that seem strange but these are the most significant because of how long I've dealt with them. 

I will soon be seeking professional help but I'm just hoping to understand what this could be. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Are they just more anxiety symptoms? Thanks. ",4.565198966408269,6.7183251813953495,4.655310077519381,82.96069121447032,71.6046511627907,8.126614987080101,30.549095607235145,8.841846274778883,2.5999715762273907,914,40,168,18,18,284,133,215,0.174,0.735,0.092,-0.9576,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,0,15,10,2,2,9,0,23,10,5,1,2,31,34,14,0,4,9,1,2,0,0,4,5,1,1,3,15,7,0,0,4,2,0,2,3,6,0,0,8,3,18,4,28,16,10,25,0,2,0,0,8,8,0,5,15,129,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224500524598713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277685969543285,0.2906022552645415,0.0,0.0,0.0885388151390568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29209934118011344,0.0,0.07718913784946937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135485208149814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109938321200584,0.0,0.0,0.16332469218291187,0.0,0.10906152164672303,0.12852123193827286,0.0,0.0,0.1451226809527621,0.0,0.11080997900513763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121982198861915,0.08363430745907817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995329836494612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487375294127063,0.0,0.0,0.12576672881821768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241174477944177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830111847032476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389048411308047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229568258907826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152742159013683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474511923994384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748174906410786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112251276425543,0.0,0.0,0.13237545128512024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.526445478944796,0.09520588750847843,0.0,0.0,0.1165788541500369,0.14480618483161276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052573226415017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099516423804425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26364120156507026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447849796694228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995043266639896,0.0,0.0,0.08154204539971567
mentalhealth,Waiting_for-Death,2019/01/06,"Don’t Want to Date Someone Who Has Never Experienced Mental Illness I’ve never been in a relationship before and, every time I think about putting myself out there to try to make it happen, I remember that I’m a basket case and an filled with the fear of rejection. It’s why it has always felt so much easier to remain alone.

You’re supposed to try to find someone with similar experiences and perspectives, right? Someone who can understand you and whom you can understand in turn? I just don’t feel like that would be possible with someone who hasn’t had problems with depression and anxiety like I have. I’ve had my problems since I was 10 years old and have had suicidal ideation since 12. Over the years, I’ve gotten better, but I will always struggle. I need someone who understands what that’s like.

I realize that this means I will also deal with the stress of dating someone with my problems, but that still seems better and more...fair to this hypothetical person, I guess. 

Does anybody else feel the same way? If so, what did you do?

 Pulling out my entire, novel-length mental illness rap sheet at a date would be bad form, so what can I do short of that?",5.103883928571432,6.471450906250006,5.515535714285715,80.4544642857143,68.95535714285714,8.635714285714286,28.732142857142854,9.017664075816787,2.3195946428571426,929,33,173,17,16,297,125,224,0.154,0.77,0.076,-0.9589,0,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,0,2,8,14,0,3,8,0,24,2,0,1,2,43,41,14,1,8,4,0,3,3,0,4,2,0,0,1,19,15,0,0,12,1,0,3,5,9,0,0,8,4,18,5,23,27,3,22,0,2,0,0,11,8,0,3,13,114,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325154124129048,0.0,0.07972419284310837,0.1659045766843397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626462031251034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323921597566107,0.0,0.0,0.08483112016239064,0.0,0.0,0.17634013181664454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277876613308723,0.0858651513029759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724172805855597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328043419260149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399537488214867,0.0,0.0,0.09751856159341618,0.0,0.11218197089369678,0.10081521960038092,0.07122046395899523,0.09572059789327313,0.0,0.0911172950516958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982271636803104,0.0,0.08815789957301792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611440988561378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654563190390463,0.0,0.0,0.1085945444395095,0.0,0.0,0.20093352845622092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328558384423517,0.07392085221764874,0.15377826720138382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046106879215988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704779484135823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238850725942467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28617726657907355,0.0,0.1002186694824938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703261952862893,0.11293236212329605,0.08513699617553466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075646332686488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493361500896078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5068156588652519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961469570144036,0.0,0.1141976176069938,0.10422042514880032,0.0,0.1090476011105017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387903805290594,0.0,0.0,0.058131598066975224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353695589867378,0.1084369983896846,0.0,0.3113507585481683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880132020233651,0.07913140179132645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995712921917344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163762606737046,0.0,0.0,0.12839762292113766
mentalhealth,lkpjho,2019/01/06,"How can I begin to feel like a good and caring person? What does it entail? Hi. I had a crazy worldview that acted as a crutch for getting through life. I recently started therapy which has let me see how crazy my ideas are. I am looking to replace my insanity with genuine philosophy and am looking for advice, thank you.

I am scared of being hurt, so I would isolate myself from others and I would treat myself badly and hate myself so no one could hurt me more than I hurt myself. I achieved this by believing that being a ""good"" person is a black and white concept where if you are not 100% good then you are 100% bad. Somehow this only applied to me and not others. I was raised by a dad who constantly used guilt trips to manipulate me to feeling bad and to doing things he wanted or to not question or judge him etc. So I hold high importance in not being bad, I am sick of being accused of being selfish and uncaring and bad. I defined being good as being caring. I defined being caring as helping others without gaining any self benefit in return, even including feeling good about helping others. Obviously it is impossible to do this.

So this impossible goal meant to me that I would always feel like a terrible, broken, bad, sociopathic person. I would try very hard to help others and try hard not to feel good about it, I would punish myself for being happy or feeling good. This belief makes me think I am so bad that I need to be totally away from others, totally isolated. I need to hurt myself, punish myself, etc. This all keeps me safe.

I know how crazy this all sounds but now through therapy showing me the ridiculousness of all this, I am left lost now on what the real method of being good is?

I want to know how I know if I am a ""good person"", what definitively makes me caring? I wish it was black and white but it probably isn't. If every human is only capable of self benefit, then what exactly determines which ones of us are selfish and good or selfish and bad? What makes a good person?

I dont know how to make friends and connect with people again until I can have confidence and feel good about myself which comes self esteem from knowing that I am not a bad person.

How do I be good? Thank you",5.044694104560623,5.931242382488482,6.043325917686322,78.3901612903226,68.72350230414747,8.566852057842048,28.79040203400604,8.74248658614541,2.242580104878436,1750,60,322,28,29,581,184,434,0.17,0.639,0.191,0.9329,0,0,1,0,0,4,46.0,1,4,0,4,20,51,4,2,12,0,47,2,0,12,7,86,87,41,0,14,16,1,9,2,1,5,2,1,0,10,34,18,0,3,17,1,0,3,10,24,0,2,5,17,55,27,47,63,8,21,1,5,7,0,25,7,0,9,13,255,89,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051710981889062216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04403212138836643,0.0,0.0,0.03598614144252857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049718322886257486,0.0,0.3976598357714693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962060852468245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158142317936751,0.0,0.0,0.0455842812800016,0.0,0.05718569648135687,0.0,0.04225081894200382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04630901011626879,0.0,0.06201965149320101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803540121211345,0.03495192423066893,0.0,0.044585804886011056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18729896746486013,0.07560944193468462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040884414153991334,0.0,0.027647537582420115,0.0,0.0,0.5770077922701432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05633233089296458,0.09480849639129076,0.052245695381453766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640971649441704,0.055910907269989256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265998005161335,0.05973812490122641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047036063297211314,0.0,0.0,0.1454120951416798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057495700529050835,0.05411237083588229,0.03737763853478737,0.05170624834470625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888757989114782,0.0,0.05776638746992278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129304449187574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847624225995797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171738565631086,0.08049324132133104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0366867666994735,0.27723640750456296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057054691882184025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059280413851453335,0.0,0.0,0.06023241451923901,0.0,0.0,0.05225026696477232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298027742055612,0.0,0.042168896404681216,0.0,0.16561544446406806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03745572311941279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743980433254623,0.12103298165871022,0.0,0.03515645261947434,0.03390779945835136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718558700756603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365399192682437,0.045704271709442384,0.0,0.04366299734665029,0.06242496549981874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085323520929613,0.05101118666767528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18795759793970784,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jew1946,2019/01/06,"Crying without a reason. I'm a medicated bipolar and sometimes I feel completely numb. Like I can just stare at a blank wall without any need for entertainment and I feel Absolutely no emotion, but for some reason i cry. I dont have any reason to cry, nothing brings it on and I cant really control it. It just happens. I find myself embarrassed because I feel like a blubbering baby. Does anyone else experience this or am I just crazy? ",2.7495238095238115,5.388513,4.907142857142858,76.50452380952382,79.71428571428572,7.542857142857144,28.380952380952376,8.515128840125781,2.6631523809523805,348,16,60,8,9,120,56,84,0.238,0.68,0.08199999999999999,-0.9225,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,4,0,5,3,0,4,0,20,12,5,0,1,7,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,7,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,4,10,3,7,12,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,2,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038266738130876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478909028992113,0.1535543994367515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135631104624001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571305978328573,0.0,0.16808633717870192,0.0,0.0,0.4938589855653046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114786861284092,0.0,0.17564066010098214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519297456121972,0.16857795011102664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659672369834845,0.0,0.0,0.2273287359482006,0.10706358365082667,0.0,0.0,0.13697389203222365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252512172415984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464329349158809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097321766806526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111229961868994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379950630079386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600735445588436,0.4622585300385757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482203138628133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889290179202996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lokidwhovian,2019/01/06,"Anxious about being medicated Hello! On Tuesday I have an appointment for medications, specifically to medicate severe anxiety, possibly depression, and ADHD. 
Anyone else be medicated for any or all of these things? I'm anxious that I'll become a zombie or a become lifeless and boring? Is that common or am I just nervous for no reason? How well did it work out for you? ADHD and anxiety are definitely my biggest problems right now, my depression is manageable. ",4.8174074074074085,8.060662098765437,7.0039506172839525,60.87777777777782,76.16049382716051,10.019753086419756,33.69135802469136,9.994966539143718,4.959676543209877,374,20,49,13,9,131,61,81,0.295,0.654,0.051,-0.9645,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,5,6,0,1,3,0,8,4,0,2,1,12,9,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,0,5,1,9,6,1,7,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,3,3,42,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35047180656717364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915614999021423,0.0,0.22308928915102785,0.3294487563921781,0.0,0.1019541020784528,0.14940010330708886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220725152722369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25117276515023945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218059749598514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5875550137006149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437944679006875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952097034137895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499174937257169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452138278159232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472437819608904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687002688598097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110116377298406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615179123073043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,garkshirl,2019/01/06,Does anyone have a positive experience with Abilify? all the things i’ve read have been extremely negative and i’d love to hear a positive experience :),4.701111111111112,7.915480592592592,7.149629629629632,59.83333333333337,76.40740740740742,13.970370370370366,34.925925925925924,11.855464076750405,6.707948148148147,124,7,19,7,3,44,22,27,0.107,0.508,0.385,0.8862,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,12,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23830929456698105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982539114197778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6667747895077244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841289521252259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076033901997936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34091226807993763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22642568863113405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shelali,2019/01/06,"I don't understand what's wrong.        I've come to a realization in the past few days. For the past several years I've had a feeling of emotional numbness.

       Not to say that I don't feel emotion I feel joy and happiness as well as sadness but they never say with me. I can feel amazing or horrible about something, and I feel compassion and empathy for people but the feeling never stays. During the death of a family member who I was close too I felt grief and within 6 hours I went numb. When I had my first serious relationship I genuinely loved her and then a feeling of numbness. and I've wondered what it is in the past but never really thought about it until recently. 

       I don't understand why I am like this but I have neither the money to see someone or a family that would understand. I've always been seen as the strong one, the one that needs so help which makes it terrifying to admit to wanting help and clarification. If anyone has any idea of what to do please let me know, I am deeply concerned. 

        TLDR: I've noticed a feeling of detachment to those I love and care about that has me deeply concerned. But I don't know of any way to find help or even ask for it. 
",3.6063182674199648,5.013479838983057,5.073333333333334,82.04162900188327,72.64406779661017,8.63427495291902,27.941619585687384,9.150863307647796,2.303321845574388,926,35,186,20,18,311,126,236,0.111,0.639,0.25,0.9886,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,8,16,0,0,14,0,18,5,0,1,3,48,46,24,2,4,10,0,9,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,15,11,0,0,20,0,1,2,9,7,1,3,8,13,22,9,28,36,2,22,0,2,2,2,13,4,0,5,15,129,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623684660347629,0.0,0.0,0.14095761283262895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246755167930173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688948173210683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566796588044597,0.0,0.0,0.0892767495256729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683927581751742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23316227439063045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845329348980399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19540528197012208,0.0,0.4192282962520337,0.0,0.09951072697676112,0.0,0.0947251528961406,0.0881561966600124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103267892815255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20840327717830368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020645992667612,0.0,0.0,0.11699703196329447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391575193409835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597900069282876,0.0,0.050633306621944575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707843197250199,0.0,0.06918055626093061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684780397132157,0.23980085006622798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799491473135618,0.0,0.0,0.1404583969756148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29680854221182484,0.0718509799774467,0.0,0.0,0.11376568215484148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639448726366146,0.0,0.1023320729312452,0.11127065661871978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483749827962785,0.0,0.0,0.08258772314452166,0.0,0.0,0.11708378717886575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781390102528754,0.07978719476872381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046653246676448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227864453020459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236789260597755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061129602711550025,0.0822646691752273,0.0,0.0,0.09318487601042973,0.09607538982260508,0.09351904942469526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123932426549709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362293721222772,0.11331415464694194,0.0,0.06674081169664513
mentalhealth,beautifulexistence,2019/01/06,"Anyone else with anxiety feel like stonewalling is absolute torture? I realize this is not exclusive to those with mental illness, and that most if not all people hate being stonewalled, especially by someone they care about.

Specifically, in my situation, I live, work, and commute with my brother, who habitually stonewalls people whenever he's angry at them or just emotionally overwhelmed. I know I should expect this by now and should know how to deal with it, but it stresses me the fuck out. My GAD loves to fixate on worst case scenarios. Generally it doesn't impact my relationships too much though. Sometimes I get very irritable and need to step away from an interaction, but that's usually because I'm just out of spoons for the day/week.

In this case, whenever my brother stonewalls me, internally I fly into a panic, worrying that he might hurt himself (not irrational imo because he does have chronic depression and frequently jokes about suicide) or that he'll really cut me off this time. He has stonewalled me for periods of more than a year at a time before, so that fear is not unfounded either.

We've spent the past year+ working on our communication, but sometimes I feel like he's always one misstep away from turning on me for good, and being stonewalled definitely doesn't help. I'd feel differently if there was a trend of him reaching out to clear things up, but historically that's been my role 9 times out of 10. If we didn't live and work together then I'd just let it go.

Tonight he started stonewalling me over a disagreement about our transportation which, sadly, isn't a minor issue. Unfortunately he's refusing not only to communicate about that issue--he's also unwilling to speak to me about anything at all. I just wish I could know what he was thinking so that we can work as a team. Oh well.",8.471078238001315,8.230467100591717,8.246351084812629,69.38561472715321,61.42603550295858,11.771466140696907,38.008547008547005,11.20814326018867,4.314111900065747,1472,65,259,36,18,473,195,338,0.183,0.7120000000000001,0.104,-0.9872,1,0,0,0,0,1,40.0,4,0,2,5,18,19,4,4,11,0,20,4,0,1,3,59,40,23,1,9,19,2,3,2,0,4,2,1,0,0,21,18,0,1,8,2,1,3,9,12,1,1,5,4,30,7,48,27,7,35,0,4,0,2,29,18,1,7,16,173,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025269576596624,0.09390709865912096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633624661860623,0.0,0.0,0.0789131072524492,0.11563660642832473,0.0928727174456956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206806782102344,0.0,0.0,0.13759467425157035,0.0,0.09603405197929447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506649985325025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010812329073224,0.0,0.0,0.0727842298937539,0.11635189244581695,0.09720463890674612,0.0,0.0,0.11791284277738892,0.0,0.0,0.0987630085645533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427857996924413,0.12695033252702062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699689929028252,0.17119355528148425,0.16125190200800646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433562663310623,0.0589637736627434,0.0,0.06413994004140404,0.09466013929987656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114241493710276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564650100922632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081708280371325,0.0,0.0,0.11779468369539947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860718157673004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540519935309575,0.0,0.11027367320717407,0.0,0.19931179160202436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018589701512069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373456391480458,0.11972476046993707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296379388551846,0.08368295680446157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647566592352263,0.08583377902105545,0.0,0.13241483092646458,0.0,0.0,0.10773596265841867,0.15648339036609954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229988005659603,0.0,0.0,0.12116751644462467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685739316365852,0.0,0.0,0.09562442264547673,0.0,0.22323937525341545,0.0,0.0798816449314369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927873549456828,0.0,0.0,0.12344859967917897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497800152581226,0.07231500478853538,0.11088265025996574,0.0,0.19742564638012536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275735979790195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429740963963178,0.09311986954751043,0.0,0.0,0.09052807464257076,0.0,0.10147311375247607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978140916998576,0.0,0.0,0.3286485787490679,0.11461302354506757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535401595572775
mentalhealth,BravesMaedchen,2019/01/06,Ive been in IOP for three weeks now. I thought I was getting better. I feel like life is a bad trip and I just want it to end. I'm tired of struggling to be fine. I'm tired of bringing people around me down. I'm tired of efforts being lost on me and hurting people.,-0.8504600484261502,1.1188315084745746,1.2971428571428592,100.77491525423729,89.84745762711864,3.371428571428572,18.59806295399516,3.1291,-0.9179462469733656,205,6,50,0,7,68,42,59,0.29600000000000004,0.578,0.126,-0.91,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,3,3,7,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,0,0,7,15,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,1,4,1,7,3,10,9,0,9,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828732721864385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152267273666733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816831788082377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181947038743806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386988702204708,0.14675684037394407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732694636791258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21991347841081305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509891864413882,0.10036108507737283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424745608428806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848339480670559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147565383184406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308581435145555,0.0,0.7083231468222924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116596105972935,0.0,0.1647808681229769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alistairyeet72,2019/01/06,"I think I have a seperate personality? Hi! I'm Alistair, and I'm new to Reddit. I turned thirteen in October, and I wanted to use my new-found freedom to.. get help.

Since I was around 7 or 8, I've had this voice in my head. He calls himself Andrew and more or less just a companion. He doesn't *command me* to do stuff, but recommends I change my manner or do something differently so that things will be easier or better for me. 

I, obviously, would tell my mom or consult a doctor, but we don't have any insurance and I'm worried my mom will waste her work hours on something not worth helping.

I have looked at the possibilities. No, Andrew is not just my thoughts. He acts as a separate figure and has his own traits. He doesn't have an appearance, but more of just a voice that associates with a mood or a feeling, not a face.


When I started middle school this year, (I'm a year behind in school since I couldn't attend school one year. I don't wanna talk about it.) he became a bit more agitated at things. He was more fragile and sometimes gets into a mood where he's practically screaming at me to do something, when I can't.

If this helps, let me list my mental disorders (all diagnosed by a doctor when I was young.)

•Anxiety
•Depression
•Autism
•Minor signs of Multiple Personality Disorder, but it's not confirmed and I probably don't have it.

If anyone wants to help, please do. Ask any questions you want, I'll answer if I would prefer to if it helps me.
Thank you, r/mentalhealth.

(Oh! Also, I'm in the US. I just read through the rules.)",3.178446601941747,4.811033731391586,4.734607119741104,83.13231844660196,74.14563106796119,8.050796116504854,26.599482200647248,8.726425361277474,1.9380644919093841,1209,44,246,24,25,406,167,309,0.08199999999999999,0.8,0.118,0.8709,1,0,3,0,0,0,54.0,2,2,0,2,12,5,0,0,16,0,28,5,2,1,2,52,48,27,0,12,22,2,2,0,1,4,3,3,0,2,12,11,0,0,7,1,1,3,12,1,0,1,5,6,35,2,27,36,8,25,0,0,1,0,31,12,0,12,10,162,47,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808530500500477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750874438796631,0.0,0.07734449159378742,0.0,0.0,0.07069445800081081,0.0,0.0,0.09000423771943096,0.09451884655000883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941851271960319,0.1103796796015553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323876617877427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695491417137333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708096160367157,0.10261870818129727,0.0,0.10563244563182013,0.231748510694818,0.20696901375822235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112135793081765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085561607730443,0.0,0.0,0.10564561872934623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376215198835324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33884031276306553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956734233501792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338596847597094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490212499103672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188932652460138,0.0,0.0,0.23682420359268724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952942724634722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685108715263105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176560701640594,0.0,0.11098212996929732,0.0,0.11397987584996815,0.0,0.0,0.1090075057740082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325992380331708,0.0,0.10113163257660687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069687638760725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672689976993296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335050250300277,0.09999471055861896,0.0,0.07156212433221451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574020282648925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126378433277795,0.08836959036292698,0.09308323016914756,0.0,0.0,0.1343383720246741,0.06478353529404178,0.0,0.08026549876895521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997241546655556,0.0,0.0,0.12161599096583127,0.08732162943850022,0.0,0.0,0.17890175801532882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360511439841019,0.10267629626384084,0.0,0.1436431484722768,0.0,0.0,0.19532350962987435
mentalhealth,ThenPosition,2019/01/06,"Feeling stuck. 2019 hasn’t been off to an ideal start, in the way it’s become painfully clear my relationship with my sister is deteriorating at best. 

I’ve spent a good bulk of my twenties being family-oriented. I was raised with the mindset to put family first, out of filial duty (I'm Asian). But I’m beginning to feel that we’re all running out of space; I don’t enjoy the person I am when I’m around my family and I know the feeling is mutual. Unfortunately, I can't move out because I am financially dependent on them and my salary isn't enough for me to move out yet, as of now. 

My sister loves to tear me down. I used to believe this was her way of showing ‘tough love’, but her recent social media rant about me, meant to publicly name and shame, has proven otherwise. Looking back at how I’ve felt before, I’m beginning to think that I serve as her own emotional punching bag. She loves to gang up on my emotional state by saying things like ‘we think…’ or ‘the family thinks…’ as if everything is final and she is speaking on behalf of everybody else. This makes me feel like I'm uncomfortable in the space of my own home and like i've been discussed.  

When I saw myself thriving with new-found interests and a new group of people I enjoyed hanging out with, she’d tear them down too or scrutinise them and me to no end. She’d blame my new sense of self worth on vanity. She’d shit on my confidence or zone out whenever I wanted to talk about the things I hold interest in. 

As much as I was emotionally affected, I never scrutinised her marriage or questioned her partner’s reason for wanting to be with her and yet she called my significant other delusional for ‘putting me on a pedestal’ and ‘wanting to be with me’. Her need to attack other people in my sphere just gave me more reasons to cut her, but this estrangement also feels painful because for the longest time she was my best friend. Growing up, I struggled with mental health and self-esteem - it took me a long time to get my shit together and feel okay, but right now I feel like she is scrutinising everything I've built by repeatedly reminding me on the ways I've failed. She often tells me that I'm mean and spiteful and destined to fail if I become my own person. 

Her constant voice in my head makes it hard for me to want to work on bigger things. Whatever I do, I feel like she is looming over  and like I'm not good enough, and previous feelings of anxiety and depression are starting to come back. How do I get over this and develop a stronger stance in things? ",7.887098273572378,6.3274943864541875,8.128456175298805,74.04043990703853,63.302788844621524,11.633598937583002,35.259296148738386,10.595843684498618,3.483362284196547,2010,72,396,41,24,662,241,502,0.134,0.71,0.155,0.8296,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,3,7,17,33,5,2,15,1,28,9,3,9,3,82,73,37,0,8,12,2,11,6,2,0,3,3,1,4,16,33,0,2,17,1,2,9,7,13,0,1,13,16,72,20,81,54,10,71,0,3,2,3,47,34,2,9,30,264,88,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058781184171874536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056230418051517135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543421269030936,0.0,0.08362149948029816,0.0,0.11304019682970873,0.0,0.08961480673356871,0.16235895721915325,0.06254655606968558,0.08281392446240643,0.15427598886257646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505588131400423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331725421810001,0.0,0.07943179490991972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330895419184418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614032248632813,0.2480465812224137,0.06510279544512383,0.15189872174634272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212145046424412,0.0,0.2078793075430657,0.0,0.3344928309332648,0.15753398282822276,0.07057544132029192,0.08052012398377491,0.0,0.06252253072024863,0.0,0.08059342697762338,0.056789067894815,0.0,0.0768056933861789,0.0,0.0,0.12330346555741513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584521571339079,0.0,0.07543638937952261,0.07813139711230017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373058282771236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04039591866291661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21546227641471746,0.0,0.0,0.06504879549530906,0.06172491257401486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199020899039119,0.0,0.09812908491842627,0.0,0.0,0.08006748879002815,0.0,0.0,0.07407482171524242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562464035083478,0.05403395440539381,0.05450234205441868,0.056690875903785715,0.2129720880711692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642704163629942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191694453981784,0.12836185047103274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778379957771942,0.08234138893034043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114886738871333,0.0725764088732818,0.07891587103668457,0.0,0.06277208051366158,0.0,0.05845339261733249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336156682552912,0.0,0.15090175841882428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492815036257068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405312866981953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684242118573252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907979316069964,0.06424580350526006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19533137172794898,0.09419688971701218,0.0,0.0,0.08572163731791578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166573460075928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348392273433642,0.0,0.0,0.17341843719458586,0.17503234601427448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351184380510938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ambivalent_mango,2019/01/06,"Tips on getting your thoughts under control? I’ve been struggling with diagnosed anxiety and anxiety induced depression for 10+years. One of my biggest symptoms is paranoia. I convince myself that people are staring at me and judging me for things like breathing too loud or even more malicious thoughts. Recently, it’s been getting worse due to stress at work. I’m in a long distance relationship with someone who doesn’t like to use their phone. I want to respect his desire to not text when he’s with his friends. However, my anxiety is starting to convince me that something is really wrong. Most of the time I am able to control my thoughts and convince myself it’s in my head when it is and admit when my concerns are justified. I worry that my judgement is slipping on which thoughts are legitimate concerns and which ones are my paranoia. These thoughts are upsetting and often make me feel unworthy and stupid which cause panic attacks. Any tips on dealing with paranoid thoughts? ",7.366186440677969,8.934973937853114,6.429166666666671,75.2400211864407,63.85875706214689,9.063841807909602,42.43361581920904,9.2995712137729,4.384476836158192,805,49,126,14,12,244,107,177,0.219,0.659,0.123,-0.9645,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,3,6,15,2,4,2,0,14,4,2,6,0,31,29,11,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,12,11,0,2,9,0,0,0,2,8,0,2,8,3,21,7,22,21,2,17,0,1,1,0,11,9,0,3,10,90,33,1,0.12612193343526404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576723964136126,0.0,0.28944880160119363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348190683609366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956196752351032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829129454266493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002617537624422,0.10862863645951347,0.12801110759095066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330234754970851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377103908495789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744149291310207,0.0,0.13178700945818056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294374898832579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232336120230776,0.0,0.0,0.1116139422644178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418736992090206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092697231405474,0.0,0.0,0.1479769143976584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743706841161589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079694009530787,0.0,0.12453019380390247,0.13540775669351085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068627049185556,0.09709482611863658,0.0,0.0,0.08926975363150877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447224862856245,0.13185002883413768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310889800650581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378980840638718,0.0,0.0,0.6007603631455587,0.07354271363182414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892885614307747,0.0,0.0,0.07438998404673727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181826964584973,0.12808294550784802,0.12852902506874955,0.0,0.13789453525865708,0.0,0.0812183900622939
mentalhealth,ActuallyTucker,2019/01/06,"I'm getting worse Before I start, I have been diagnosed as bipolar.
My mental health has been getting increasingly worse. I'm starting to completely forget entire days, when I use to only lose hours. Reality is becoming confusing, as if I just can't comprehend what's around me anymore. My episodes are getting worse. I'm not sure what to do, the medications aren't working anymore.",5.1946190476190495,7.618485700000001,6.154285714285718,71.71904761904764,70.57142857142857,9.23809523809524,35.95238095238096,9.725611199111238,4.147952380952382,309,17,49,8,6,102,49,70,0.254,0.746,0.0,-0.9438,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,1,0,9,4,0,1,1,8,18,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,7,1,6,16,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553950508714909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950739174970174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19788924423831186,0.1524682213083239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786588271275295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555569969690994,0.0,0.0,0.18186302002520865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28084106127033154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19045900996970125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17645532567940045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20045558641008054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805040978292822,0.1805703946044778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627378357765926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25364778569387497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887418609558072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547532172705924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044452255378822,0.0,0.5477964475065039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,200397,2019/01/06,"I need advice and help please, i can't take this feeling anymore(M14) So right now im in a relationship and im usually just about the happiest person in the world, i love my girl so much, and its real love not some of the love you'd probably think coming from my age, and im just so happy when im around her and she makes me feel complete. But starting around last week i would occasionally get the empty feeling in my chest and i kept/keep getting anxiety attacks (i think) usually when im in bed or not doing anything. I keep thinking of the mistakes that i have made that im ashamed of, and some of the bad things I've seen on the internet that make me feel like a terrible person, a few months ago i got really aroused and idk what made me do it but i started jacking off with strangers on this site like Omegle (live video chatting) which I'm not gay im definitely attracted to woman but it just seemed appealing at the time, and i was just skipping through videos and then i came across this one where it showed what looked like young children doing bad things and it took me a bit to realise what i was seeing but i skipped past and forgot about it till later that night where i realised what i saw and it made me feel sick, i made an anonymous fbi tip about the website and i hope they did something, i wish i could stop things like that in the world and those people can just disappear because its so sick and terrible and makes me want to throw up.  and when im bored i occasionally think about that night and get very depressed. and in 7th grade me and my friends didn't really understand the concept of death and we would go on this terrible subreddit where there was videos of people dying and watch them, and idk why we did this and it makes me stomach churn when i think about it and i just hate the fact of all these fucking terrible mistakes i made. and lately ive been getting like this for some reason and it doesn't help im getting stressed about high school wrestling and not ruining things with my girl or disappointing my parents. I just want to cry and hope this all goes away because a few weeks ago i definitely wasn't like this and i managed to control it and i would never get like this.I also want to stop watching porn because it isint good for me.  i dont know what i should do at this point, I've tried meditating and it helps, but is there anything else? Can anyone please help me...?


TLDR: Fucked up in life one to many times and usually im super happy and am in an amazing relationship, but everynight especially when im bored and not doing anything i get very depressed about my mistakes ",4.326061849325608,5.384698798861481,4.720462587825018,86.58797528078364,70.4990512333966,7.822534488948152,28.28498897379353,8.098718942377014,1.6628270065131543,2085,74,434,28,37,659,230,527,0.173,0.662,0.165,-0.8458,2,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,2,1,2,2,32,40,4,2,19,0,28,13,3,11,4,115,85,56,2,15,20,1,5,7,1,4,3,0,1,6,41,44,0,5,14,5,0,6,11,21,0,2,19,11,56,19,48,60,9,66,0,4,6,8,25,29,2,8,38,274,97,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0510056039650106,0.09253771164256047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174134891446957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039930013873689794,0.0,0.0,0.036496854922660006,0.0,0.1288592812868947,0.09293151682223803,0.0,0.059380807578700914,0.04904012637743712,0.0,0.08716343266703408,0.0954551095338037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05698482266858109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059698642871635614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04496247630697568,0.05472680998709091,0.0,0.05854257008548951,0.041674484982251736,0.0,0.05733516628038579,0.0,0.0,0.08991316468225773,0.0,0.05417150135769347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117365531555096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04360329703460144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196004585175738,0.03728903523442579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04032671901596672,0.09650924570265518,0.19089282599456145,0.0,0.029664350675617082,0.043779766014462144,0.04174613599369312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111278283640648,0.0,0.05153302355039351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994427384076424,0.05514823910432658,0.0,0.10368537343913936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6201903720624065,0.0,0.0,0.0927889097815868,0.0,0.0,0.02868571226294101,0.04254693745242437,0.058879681097097486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036867778537694636,0.1785032724645562,0.0,0.04609027445341635,0.0,0.043831732020462984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132755073073522,0.2469469266622388,0.13936569771241553,0.05291883875771948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04166257536589439,0.0,0.038370274022877966,0.038702882706432365,0.040256991496592905,0.0,0.0,0.09796535204866956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073910485860363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057957795615219215,0.0,0.049827258563252,0.07237266146075186,0.0911515625842398,0.0,0.11459168967532884,0.04934235906887542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627642160675976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941079764092591,0.06687655131636977,0.05366647253355236,0.0,0.11207854874783776,0.0,0.04457534076119593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05282542534826328,0.041593679931915435,0.04751753598089143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04018324898082427,0.0,0.0,0.07388959597597411,0.0,0.0,0.08727686010380488,0.059790666192323275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03924510915040738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870756528820474,0.16722635379540993,0.0,0.0,0.06087214511270079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799199132088623,0.035437850121500115,0.0,0.0,0.0543381717388241,0.0,0.0,0.17246049553089748,0.08613480035503311,0.09236016078685257,0.0,0.08373742009899368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04709902708542923,0.0,0.06002314985497341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112362262618946,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Auxfite,2019/01/06,"How to cure mental illness (NO MEDS REQUIRED) This is what your government and mainstream media hide from you so they can fill up their pockets to profit. Legal drug dealers

https://youtu.be/_4tEWN3ZLfQ",8.630833333333333,12.29460625,5.532500000000002,74.39583333333336,64.625,6.7666666666666675,32.541666666666664,7.793537801064563,2.8090916666666668,168,7,21,2,3,46,31,32,0.12,0.7609999999999999,0.12,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,16,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6116930506026057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5858957693863682,0.0,0.5315616232005784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fantasticBeauty94,2019/01/06,"Long Lost Meditation I Cannot Seem To Find! Hello all! 

This is my first time posting as I'm at a loss for what to do. I did a guided editation through an app a few years ago. I can't remember which app it was and all I can remember about the meditation itself was that it was spoken by a male and he had you visualize that you were walking up this mountain and sat in the comfiest chair ever and you looked over the moutain...  

That's all I got for you in regards to what I can remember. I listened to it every night for weeks. But it was so long ago I can't remember anything else about it or where to find it. 

If anyone has any clue, please either post below or DM me. I would greatly appreciate it!! ",1.7181318681318665,3.4220803945578235,3.9111564625850375,87.16177394034538,78.38775510204081,7.244165358451076,24.23286237571952,8.139509932561175,1.3167345892203035,546,19,121,10,13,188,91,147,0.034,0.919,0.047,0.4331,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,4,0,3,5,3,0,0,8,0,16,0,0,0,4,21,23,10,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,16,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,10,2,15,1,19,12,5,20,0,2,1,0,8,7,0,4,10,91,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586966746069042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922988392377367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202991660926616,0.0,0.1200788556702811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189655162772042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199203651077587,0.12294300155943665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667345377849625,0.12411857700969045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670470738428107,0.1608761480294746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25826734267035506,0.12253516014912537,0.0,0.15928776172045744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693504168104714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601751790183648,0.0,0.0,0.27950002027506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6611908616214074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328391239157986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508650817772094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704737309393233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365662934957892,0.0,0.0,0.0939670141193468
mentalhealth,tanamongeau1,2019/01/06,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me and at this point I don’t know if I’ll ever find out I feel like I have a lot of issues mentally and they seem to be getting worse as the years go by. I’m 21. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for years (ever since I started puberty, pretty much), I’ve also been trying to find the courage to get some help and finally did but gave up. I can’t afford a psychiatrist (or whatever doctor you go to to get a proper diagnosis) so I went to see a social worker. we had 2 sessions together and I stopped going because idk I felt “cringy” and literally embarrassed in myself for talking to a stranger about my personal issues. there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t feel like complete shit and don’t want to die 

a couple of my symptoms (keep in mind that the social worker mentioned bipolar disorder without going in detail, I’m not too familiar with it)
-anger issues (it comes out of nowhere to the point where my very irrational outbursts feel rational and OK even though they’re completely out of line)
-pretty severe hypochondria (I once convinced myself I had breast cancer and was going to die in 6 months, I started making up scenarios and panicking about how I was going to tell my family, I was 15, had no symptoms of breast cancer and hadn’t gone to the doctor for it)
-depression (it comes and goes)
-severe anxiety, it keeps me from doing literally everything out of fear of discovering something that might make me anxious (this post for example) 
-some symptoms of OCD although I don’t think I have it

some advice would be appreciated, I’m losing all hope and I’m tired of feeling like this ",3.671666666666667,5.5796517222222235,5.078271604938276,80.02722222222224,73.44444444444444,8.133333333333335,28.358024691358022,8.841846274778883,2.413035802469136,1314,53,243,27,27,439,176,324,0.241,0.6579999999999999,0.101,-0.9953,1,0,1,0,0,1,32.0,1,1,1,3,13,15,2,2,12,1,24,12,3,3,3,57,60,22,2,4,5,0,5,3,0,2,9,0,0,1,13,23,0,3,11,0,0,10,11,8,0,0,14,6,29,7,46,42,6,36,0,3,1,2,12,15,1,9,13,160,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349329031100207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683282285075852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072635088353585,0.09652555237000264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052084872722623625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720206391341342,0.1791693884139375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945403518525128,0.0,0.05510325702431152,0.08808732666493603,0.14718276773561034,0.0,0.1773513707452009,0.0,0.09792435279340916,0.17490776238258954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05643387632785697,0.15457502181624802,0.0,0.0,0.07679008840378197,0.0,0.08054745764828987,0.09614641513825486,0.17280890821819533,0.18312012811656056,0.0820380696560369,0.09359793458626764,0.15618554757995318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339203277964602,0.0,0.2913531906665447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057270216284296425,0.0,0.0,0.08486354745938672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26753889164892164,0.0,0.15189019989548502,0.0,0.0,0.0939137787052026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522847119396344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558815124555148,0.0,0.072640043367137,0.0,0.0,0.11406688436118045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610580777036275,0.0906408470348496,0.08627243187897073,0.0,0.06819928066168718,0.0,0.06280996947908966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099333030314376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460497754686105,0.0,0.0,0.16154130488067298,0.0,0.08183016732250356,0.17385120479962726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068086502730967,0.07778352020373393,0.0,0.19305110474000525,0.08770535994383176,0.07067880735457667,0.0,0.0,0.17419546243418813,0.0,0.06577770699660297,0.0,0.0,0.1209530915861075,0.0,0.0,0.07143364308634137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664219979342809,0.0,0.06867533657473814,0.07468039312929066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474801754986962,0.08394668990426557,0.0,0.0,0.09820342961226068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05800975732435036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049889946265915,0.050396120676187525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920592846576663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236339094643652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707306959076475,0.060695804711679686,0.09341781327867987,0.0,0.11004416358345903
mentalhealth,Megalegoman99,2019/01/06,"Anxiety on another level I've made one other post similar to this but this one is more... Specific. Sometimes when Im having a bad OCD/Anxiety episode, I'll be trying to ask someone something like ""do you know where the nearest bathroom is?"" but in the back of my head I might think ""I'm gonna kill you"" because of the intrusive thought. I'm always worried about what's going to come out of my mouth when this happens. I NEVER want to say those things out loud. Its terrifying. Does anyone have any insight on this? Have any of you said what popped into your head rather than what you wanted to say? Im curious and also looking for answers cause I dont understand this and its driving me up the walls.",3.0414761904761893,4.930553814285716,4.300000000000002,85.01333333333334,75.14285714285714,7.238095238095237,28.095238095238088,8.07648339933343,1.927809523809524,554,23,108,9,12,182,96,140,0.153,0.805,0.042,-0.9529,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,5,0,0,7,3,1,0,5,0,9,3,3,2,1,21,25,7,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,13,6,0,0,6,0,0,3,2,2,0,2,3,5,11,1,19,19,1,19,0,0,1,0,9,11,0,1,5,71,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255408129654034,0.1275163927871505,0.0,0.0,0.2084307002429288,0.16069613353074047,0.23447187470991426,0.0,0.0,0.10715606087442976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14326819330841276,0.0,0.0,0.11783989781098735,0.12795746533071714,0.09341986270373984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743010809662245,0.0,0.13201142559886747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411022992706498,0.0,0.1796080223020708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709558600413178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551859236086106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145577118590622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310728973186764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954857360642325,0.0,0.08422226890475445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748702772609944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286915202575516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450089875538436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257418023157266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819595525618808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20769252151984427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677127151684186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577597671957965,0.24374132409230456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984834599530834,0.11797944461368252,0.1515683066926896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181258317506774,0.09819650150722553,0.0,0.12166349266167348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404678520725584,0.0,0.0,0.1595388000141213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078180585917314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556329557358361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ItsSaturdaySunday,2019/01/06,"Feeling emotions that I'm not supposed to have — should I go to the doctor? These are things that happened to me last year but I'm not sure what they are:

\- I was at work and my body was suddenly engulfed with intense rage out of nowhere. I started breathing heavily, then proceeded to throwing objects to the ground. Then I hyperventilated and collapsed. My partner helped me calm down but when he asked what was my thought process and feeling before I felt the rage, I couldn't tell what it is. This was a month ago and looking at it today, this event and feeling feels very foreign as if I didn't experience it.

\- From earlier last year I went into a daydream (vision?) in which I couldn't get out of like I was running up and down the stairs from a clinic. It kept going on for half an hour until I snapped out of it. It was very overwhelming and difficult to get out of. 

\- Someone gave me a gift on my birthday. It felt very strange and I hid it telling myself that it's not supposed to exist because the person who gave it doesn't exist. It felt very real to me. But a few days later when I cleaned out my cabinet, I saw the gift and wondered why I felt the need to hide it.

\- I would be walking outside, generally happy and OK, and would suddenly feel engulfed with the feeling of nausea and disgust that lasts for a minute. Maybe this happened 8 times this year but never consecutively. I would wonder what it is. There is no trigger and I cannot re-experience this feeling if I want to. It just happens. (fyi: I don't have heartburn or acid reflux.)

\--

Just want to know if I should go to a doctor for this or if it's just a hormonal thing? Also if others have experienced this and if it's a cause for alarm? The reason why I never sought medical help for it was because they're completely different events and they all happened just once within and only on 2018. Any thoughts?",2.5976728110599083,4.776790026881724,3.717508448540709,87.3405483870968,77.49462365591398,6.186912442396313,27.02642089093702,7.2259226712905225,1.3896240245775728,1478,61,293,18,35,478,183,372,0.106,0.802,0.093,-0.8711,1,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,2,1,8,11,3,2,19,1,27,7,2,3,4,79,65,35,0,16,19,0,11,1,1,5,5,0,1,2,38,24,0,1,17,0,0,7,12,6,0,1,19,15,34,5,44,38,2,51,0,1,2,0,13,18,0,10,27,209,72,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926005583848128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715042891597237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080453993152653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358995647748478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901180614077964,0.0,0.0760846705312137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931872158460467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185273842124772,0.0,0.0,0.09374880658803286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05766458914519566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341852821175052,0.0,0.18303789650124688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057863877522236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749279654756323,0.0,0.0,0.3164725944441392,0.0,0.3434055869977438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343017814918707,0.0,0.15244799439455706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162737792874558,0.0951827933174642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986454778284353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805471200877871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04913955868088723,0.21865286562918607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04368313072973081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750851834516602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982831279818262,0.0,0.0,0.0900751297222953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136934750733485,0.0,0.0,0.0662992976586889,0.13792307318918834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522291948312336,0.0,0.0680033244736362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807279661396824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177262987909792,0.0,0.09193241402151417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757601344707113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328764131924973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427157279106831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630343538866506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880528678328033,0.0,0.0,0.1419693488364929,0.052137982828849,0.0,0.08475395269113227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29510343251826965,0.10547730752183658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288761081449446,0.16136433246366666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19393119034053294,0.06509440745056172,0.0,0.0,0.1905512757617128,0.0,0.0,0.1727389220767977
mentalhealth,ZoneDesigned,2019/01/07,"My Mom and Sister want me dead I suffer from self harming myself and i usually break stuff out of purpose, out of nothing.My sister and mom wants me dead now. they don’t see me as a family anymore.I tried talking through them, but they don’t wanna talk with me. they want me disappear from existence.i have no one. no one cares about me.They even called the cops not because i was hurting myself, it’s because i broke my own heater out of purpose because i just snapped. and i started to hurt myself so i won’t break anything. they see me as a crazy person, they don’t care what happens to me. ",1.4410362364907847,3.762300363636367,2.6680991735537205,92.51165924984106,82.55371900826447,5.0453909726637,24.183725365543552,6.297961479604792,0.6559568976478065,468,18,96,4,13,150,71,121,0.221,0.674,0.104,-0.9373,0,2,1,0,0,3,14.0,0,0,6,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,15,15,8,2,4,3,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,2,1,2,25,2,16,13,1,9,0,4,2,0,15,3,0,0,3,68,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560177633012982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013492458587999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826113195399214,0.0,0.3360130338668049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108837142042214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15534206862339495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457164262711507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528056783476235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38598203025406747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22332147546609515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388153121276553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626202859373651,0.0,0.17190385603723887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166337461290425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18863628713313374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648915101333237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187635173358007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18148440148984848,0.0,0.2915785748552212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,radioblowout,2019/01/07,"my suicidal thoughts are back today was my first day back at school after winter break and i really thought I was getting better but all of a sudden i’ve started having these dark thoughts again and it’s frustrating because the past few weeks i’ve been out of school, my mental health was at the best it’s been in a while. i had no issue going out and talking to people, and i didn’t feel anxious or suicidal, which is pretty rare for me. but now, after one day back at school, i’m sitting in my bathroom trying to control my breathing before i have a full blown panic attack. i’m so disappointed in myself because it really just feels like all the progress i made over the past few weeks is just gone. i don’t know if/how i’m gonna get through the rest of the school year. sorry if this doesn’t really make sense ",6.123705921490352,5.419902155688626,6.4849900199600805,81.617877578177,66.36526946107784,9.098868928809047,29.932801064537593,8.167268648758528,1.9295248170326007,648,19,132,7,9,210,103,167,0.179,0.715,0.106,-0.9245,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,5,8,7,2,1,9,0,14,2,1,3,2,23,31,10,2,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,6,0,0,2,4,4,0,2,12,2,14,3,18,18,7,34,0,1,0,0,1,10,0,2,21,88,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370184840483306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798015993507828,0.0,0.2797839885901133,0.0,0.14786945274238045,0.0,0.1032053223575223,0.0,0.12728201329620994,0.10726747515455597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603239014054327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643867469735534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265153657625,0.08664663306661283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316567918467308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267336979510447,0.0,0.06892954167332728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892118338593386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659091282962018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665552940899946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05925413827872353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476360065050233,0.08095924442563619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222760666758513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218642857894873,0.0,0.0,0.14230280852492871,0.0,0.0,0.2315621287761011,0.0840843347410423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339130907177083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23309645715855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4909910077279798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576957548389826,0.0858467464996227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653340614477317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974849692950712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888622433913309,0.0,0.0,0.11496480102353895,0.0,0.0,0.08234512844978205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457638063437666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810410871711262
mentalhealth,JardScoot,2019/01/07,"I'm severely depressed             I've been fighting a lot with my parents lately because I'm moving in with my girlfriend slowly over the course of this semester and they don't like the idea. My dad particularly is very intense and doesn't communicate well, but he wins arguments without question.
            I feel like I have no way of being real with my parents because they get mad and don't want to accept that I'm moving out but won't accept me not wanting to deal with them not liking it either, because I'm ""being ungrateful"". I'm just at the point where I'm putting on this thin mask of everything being fine and dancing the dance for my parents, but underneath I'm dying and I want out. I don't want to hate my dad but he just expects me to deal with him while making no effort to change his behaviors, so it's hard not to resent him a little.
            I don't feel like myself at all, which isn't fun going into a new semester at college, I'm breaking down crying almost every night but I still call my parents and act like I'm fine. Because if I'm not then they'll just tell me it's my fault anyway.",6.010466666666666,5.1737029022222245,6.983833333333332,78.38775000000003,66.64444444444446,9.277777777777775,32.083333333333336,8.344100000000001,2.349600000000001,863,30,172,10,12,291,119,225,0.234,0.6970000000000001,0.069,-0.9865,4,0,0,0,2,0,15.0,0,0,4,2,8,18,4,0,7,0,14,0,0,1,1,45,34,15,1,6,15,6,4,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,14,0,0,6,2,0,7,14,6,1,0,1,4,25,12,27,28,3,30,0,1,0,0,22,15,0,4,11,110,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498801454870106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800029474756455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725667196819994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147740379483678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613794822708538,0.0,0.2367742284096888,0.09890493781914708,0.0,0.1191778532606751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967512105173096,0.0,0.10320391490865134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612537652925273,0.16407251259501587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999516518229834,0.0,0.06526187281663387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286723337881656,0.1133731752829752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296317496791743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953589651302233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805064376121962,0.1150921857662594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762636051677642,0.0,0.0,0.07665148766078549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24409723744021844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090580259291076,0.0,0.10776238481923284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5100309563535341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855369117088022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543823219397473,0.1286385165583209,0.0,0.0,0.13070435830452318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972787374488415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170526585409243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003685384151785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474871786890016,0.2709243892332972,0.09114857721611952,0.0,0.0,0.10324807662350524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106942909888013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,14footbadger,2019/01/07,"They say we are crazy but we are not Hello everybody. I suffer from schizoaffective disorder and i think other people can hear my thoughts and i hear voices in my head. I just found out about remote neural monitoring or synthetic telepathy and i'm convinced that is what's really going on. I sometimes see images in my head and share images from my head with my voices and that can also be explained by remote neural monitoring. But i've got a new one... Now i believe other people around me are sometimes hearing the same voices and things as me. I know because the people i live with talk out loud to themselves a lot. I've lived with other crazy people in different places for the past few years. One time i was having a rough night and experiencing a lot of ""symptoms"" and the next day one of my house mates mentioned that he knew there was a cyber attack the night before. I also think it's remote neural monitoring because of the actual physical experiences i have had like extreme body heating with sweating buckets and extreme physical discomfort. Apparently it's all under control from satellites 🛰 or something. Anybody else have experiences like this? ",5.9242757009345794,7.786969873831778,6.444007009345793,72.68460864485981,67.55140186915888,8.527570093457943,30.66471962616823,9.017664075816787,2.879430841121496,939,37,148,17,16,305,124,214,0.076,0.846,0.078,0.1091,2,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,1,1,7,7,1,1,11,0,13,9,8,1,1,36,27,16,0,0,6,0,1,2,1,0,1,8,0,0,11,18,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,3,0,3,7,11,22,4,23,19,5,19,0,1,1,0,14,9,0,4,11,107,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.10817485069318143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17729544386160506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868113364934533,0.0,0.1261093245704482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351478126907335,0.0,0.09432626763663952,0.12489142318528725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313077323079075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432912708899073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714898997510296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581598543832156,0.12704516107453712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260201338269697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21686762883225055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154269780058705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299933227692946,0.0,0.08865788843665119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412961560774087,0.0,0.3748123189002923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279074843677272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06092095991633626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831266407938192,0.0,0.19576740760500386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848357424447365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706084896799793,0.11789158503556785,0.20805281844289414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253470716766508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582008192260868,0.3074012572861945,0.0,0.11581598543832156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101416316147732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815338050186255,0.0,0.0,0.08833411158413917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533872465950662,0.2192694843463437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152169154924754,0.0,0.08909805322270037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364465929552763,0.1420580378572165,0.0,0.08800352752435611,0.0646382679718765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138458457452393
mentalhealth,un0m,2019/01/07,"I'm trying to create a new podcast: The Mental Health Podcast - I need your suggestions! The Mental Health Podcast is a podcast talking about anything and everything mental health. We're going to take deep dives into various mental health issues faced by people around the world, be sharing opinions and viewpoints of people who struggle from these mental health issues, or just talking about how we have been this week.

Before I write my first episode (or second; the first would probably be an introduction), I would love to have suggestions on what I should talk about.

These can be suggestions for deep dives into factual issues (like 'what is depression?', your opinion or viewpoint, your story or anything else. I don't want to narrow the scope too much.

Please leave your suggestions as a comment!

https://twitter.com/the_MH_podcast
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mentalhealth,duckeatingbread,2019/01/07,"Experiencing psychosis again... I need to vent about this to someone who understands mental health issues because I feel like it’s getting out of my control and there’s too much stigma associated with these kind of symptoms to talk openly...

For the last week or so, I’ve been having what are now the tell-tale symptoms of psychosis for me.  First, I was just really scared going out at night. Then I started hearing and smelling things. Weird beeping and cracking sounds and the smell of mold. I started seeing shadowy figures on the edges of my vision. I started to think that someone was following me. People were watching me.  Everyone in the convenience store was just there to gather information on me. I made direct eye contact to let them know I knew what they were doing. I drove out of my way to lose whoever was following me. I obsessively checked license plates to make sure I didn’t see the same one twice. 

I was absolutely terrified, and I wanted to tell my boyfriend right away that I was being followed in case I disappeared. And that’s when I realized I’ve thought and felt this all before. It all felt so real and so logical that I felt like I had been slapped in the face when I realized that this was just my stressed out brain telling me lies again. 

I worked every single day for the past two ish months without a day off, my boyfriend just broke his leg, the holidays happened, and I wasn’t sleeping much, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that this happened again now, but it’s still absolutely terrifying. It’s so scary to be able to believe something so strongly that’s not real.

And I’m still completely functional. I know that these things aren’t real, or at least I can tell myself that after the fact and calm myself down. When this happened before, I didn’t know I had this problem and thought what I believed was real. I missed school and stopped eating. Now I’m still able to get myself to work, make dinner, clean the house, etc. I just secretly feel like I’m drowning. I know I need to take a few days to rest and work on my mental health, but that’s impossible for at least the next month. 

Anybody else experience this and how do you cope?

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mentalhealth,anon182783,2019/01/07,I think I’m dead. I’ve been sick for 5+ days and ever since Sunday morning 1/6/19 I’ve thought I am dead and it’s the most terrifying feeling ever. I don’t wanna tell my parents or anyone because they’ll think I am crazy. There’s small things that just don’t feel right. Can someone give me proof that I’m alive and this is real? What should I do?,1.103308270676692,2.8271948947368415,2.61796992481203,95.63078947368422,80.3157894736842,4.869172932330828,20.06766917293233,5.288315135182226,-0.3641593984962413,276,7,64,1,7,90,55,76,0.242,0.701,0.057,-0.9458,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,10,1,0,0,3,17,18,4,2,2,2,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,8,0,2,14,1,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,4,35,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18280692722091166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937314140618378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686090166802374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4729800712191107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26438673194399404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507998151485113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903013574010077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975792128800092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22327077474612653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162682362483455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215196876631773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285125840250744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17369101972186202,0.335044057384963,0.0,0.20755642813809086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mmmahogany_,2019/01/07,"Panic/Anxiety from Loneliness Not sure if this fits in this sub but I thought it might so...

  
I just moved to a new city for 4 months because I got a work term for a company here. I'm 22 and have lived with my family my whole life, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to try living on my own for awhile. I found a decent price in a room in a house here and this is going to be my first night in the house. I have an uncle who also lives near the city and I had been staying with him for the last couple days to help me get settled in. However, upon being dropped off to the house where I am renting a room, I began to feel quite uncomfortable and alone. I don't know anyone else here in the house and it's hitting me I'm on my own for the next few months. I felt dizzy, faint, and may have had a minor panic attack (have had some before). Now I'm regretting my decision to live on my own and considering if I should stay with my uncle instead. I would have less freedom and he lives about an hour commute from the city while the house I'm staying at now is right in the middle of downtown and I have as much freedom as I want, but I feel really alone.

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What are some strategies or methods to cope with panic or anxiety due to loneliness in situations such as mine? Is moving to my uncle's an option I might need to consider? I'm not sure how I would get out of the lease agreement for 4 months.",3.0858730158730125,3.884392026936027,4.54658970658971,87.6557575757576,73.1750841750842,7.6773448773448765,24.580567580567585,7.957251820313856,1.1122446368446366,1100,31,246,15,21,368,151,297,0.132,0.778,0.09,-0.8733,2,2,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,4,14,9,1,2,22,0,26,2,0,1,2,47,46,23,0,9,9,0,3,0,0,7,2,0,3,0,8,14,0,0,8,0,2,3,3,4,0,1,10,3,31,5,45,25,10,45,0,1,0,0,4,22,0,10,16,173,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757044517936245,0.0,0.06783383293742921,0.0,0.0919069186596019,0.10307061278025902,0.0,0.0,0.12978046760526085,0.0,0.0,0.0593110099205995,0.08691235397833054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649970318968104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170800753954128,0.0,0.07217909429719639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938562959040744,0.0,0.054704552026845314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085968334724678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996464865238241,0.0,0.08577926624331622,0.0,0.08144447519137739,0.0,0.0,0.07215136890236247,0.0,0.09300528967687627,0.0,0.0,0.0886342227908765,0.0,0.04820751270042408,0.07114646294612936,0.06784161241606977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056855832041483985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083534689931879,0.4893783357918658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046617128193980686,0.06914299423003398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05991379759251597,0.0,0.0,0.3745063418673464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17997001266867355,0.0,0.0,0.2031174543187889,0.18030927042348865,0.06235550181103579,0.06289602391826328,0.0,0.08192368156627222,0.09021143363699567,0.07960170786697172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985685505548369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022091253771893,0.0,0.0,0.05434051518940576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243935083458161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534588570135946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271233736391091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159891493426765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346817820913987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575900220601206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05003147462345709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470312142566416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175298310146034,0.0,0.0,0.1807699028677957,0.0,0.10307061278025902,0.0
mentalhealth,staythesame1992,2019/01/07,"Anxiety over boyfriend's past? My boyfriend has an old female friend that I am jealous of. He had a crush on her in the past and he did admit they did fool around at some point, but that is it. Despite his honesty I'm so insecure about her that it's driving me insane. He said he wants nothing to do with her because she's crazy and falsely accused him of damaging her property, which he did not do because he was on video chat with me at his house when it supposedly happened. She also said he used her throughout their friendship and said see ya later to him, so he blocked her on Facebook messenger. He still has her on his Facebook page and he may not even be aware of it, but I don't want to be controlling and ask him to delete her. I don't want him to think I don't trust him. I blocked her on social media and it hasn't helped. His mother and I are close and she told me I don't have anything to worry about. 

They were flirting a few weeks before we got together (I looked through his phone) which caused a fight and I apologized. He said it's the past and it doesn't matter now. How can I not worry? He always says he loves me. ",3.2478034251675325,4.182164274261607,4.0369322412509305,90.95052866716308,72.92405063291139,7.095457930007446,26.599404318689494,7.285733465282438,1.0868507818317203,891,30,199,9,17,285,125,237,0.204,0.728,0.068,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,1,1,3,1,11,9,2,1,6,0,24,1,0,4,0,34,42,17,0,3,5,1,0,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,12,15,0,3,2,2,0,1,9,5,0,0,12,7,42,4,24,27,3,22,0,1,2,1,57,12,0,2,9,133,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979769814223304,0.11424349360958586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503310803640044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298510819215543,0.12222492680885615,0.12835572406762644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739199179854064,0.0,0.11683105707934202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104355648072595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15399213503828332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090684477753646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060766131601195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981029021923196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214127619356418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202840549898823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584242330525161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152963046617249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391741169418137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317417784478688,0.0,0.14407185981137138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3932013533769476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297916235953752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5224099114093701,0.10918541448945827,0.0,0.0,0.1094092652143784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995870535391133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964689656394724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797544493867494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119476460078772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185819694426076,0.0,0.0,0.2429469415380491,0.0,0.11013271269788216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27886693146545155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrsOni,2019/01/07,"(ADVICE NEEDED) (TW: mention of suicide and Narc parents) Can I stay in the hospital overnight if I'm suicidal even if I haven't been diagnosed with anything?  Quick note: relatives may also be Narcs, so that's not an option.

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Sorry if this is the wrong place but I need to know just in case I feel suicidal again.  (I never do it, I get this way then I quickly convince myself it's not worth it. I'm just worried someday it might not fade so quickly. it lasts awhile then fades eventually during the same day (or next day if I stay up all night)

also, if I call the police can they take me to the hospital?, I'm afraid to tell my parents because not only is my mom a narcissist and my dad an enabler and abuser himself, they don't belive me and will probably yell at me like always instead of taking action as good parents do.

I've been thinking of getting therapy but I also might not be able to afford it if I'm moving out this summer (I'm worried if I use the money for it I might not have enough, even with sufficient funds)

Also, Should I tell them I called if I did? I'm guessing no since honestly, narcs only make it about themselves. But i'm sure it'll make it worse if I don't)

​

thanks in advance!",2.676523235800346,4.396802148594379,4.1989443488238685,86.07710843373495,75.70682730923694,6.670567986230638,26.314974182444054,7.447530270364453,1.4069118760757318,961,36,191,12,21,320,139,249,0.149,0.7859999999999999,0.064,-0.9674,4,0,0,0,1,1,38.0,0,0,3,2,16,8,0,1,9,0,22,1,0,3,3,47,43,26,3,12,21,5,1,1,0,7,1,1,0,0,14,7,0,0,3,0,3,3,11,2,0,0,3,2,27,6,18,31,3,28,0,0,0,0,14,7,0,16,16,134,41,0,0.09340264415825916,0.11066686001413767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127198286987084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987762431516559,0.07771848226949102,0.20240345184452246,0.2269888721622924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768624177211941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056937384946874926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907490854544962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047395694823446,0.0,0.0,0.0948017177104193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650989951608124,0.0,0.12338313113042655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04722718332186096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759805304143768,0.0,0.0,0.07834170646151101,0.0,0.0,0.10289354284753538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051331650539208566,0.07613562127383261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045631813985933405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469398051811248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29725633546335034,0.0,0.10939204797006333,0.0,0.0992722290811693,0.0,0.13851375428548482,0.07203787726521434,0.0,0.09933477169220377,0.0876520542738874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207383953339472,0.0,0.0,0.3111377486401261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758588340594747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070384800057212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726363244400447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455661314806408,0.0,0.19910958211090965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065019985396356,0.0,0.08803088674427005,0.0,0.14045432860904458,0.0,0.16327605576501394,0.08599260569992061,0.1068140637161234,0.0,0.0,0.059848642943139935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066989548745153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413867139760097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970983802990546,0.09518527400839676,0.0,0.1021211287943328,0.2269888721622924,0.0
mentalhealth,HandoTrius,2019/01/07,"I have bad dreams that have woken me up several times each night for the past 19 months TL;DR after quitting drug use I started having nightmares/bad dreams about using drugs, guilt, shame, and death. These dreams cause me to fully wake up at least 2 times and up to 6 times a night, making it very hard to get enough restorative sleep. I started using at 12 and stopped in may 2017 which makes me a 30 year old man (kind of hard to believe)

​

I started having depressive symptoms at 5 years old and I have spent far more time in a depression than out of it over my whole life.  The depression led to low self confidence, a lot of shame about being broken or less than everyone else.  This brutal toxic shame has been a heavy burden I have carried since childhood that I am just now starting to heal.  I really want to hammer the point that I felt like everyone else had something that I didn't, I wasn't cool or good enough, I was terrified of everyone finding out how much of a sorry sad sack I was, sooo afraid of rejection and filled with negative self talk. It makes sense that the first time I smoked weed at 12 years old that I knew I was going to be a pot smoker. For a kid who is in pain like that it's just logical that they would become attached to the thing that alleviates that pain. I self medicated my depression and ignored the voice that told me I was less than, using drugs was fun and it allowed me to connect with people. The depression would cycle, when It got really bad I would withdraw from life and consider quitting my substance use but eventually I would start feeling a little better and I went back to the party.  Life was really centered around drugs and partying, it was fun when the depression wasn't bad. This way of life continued until I was 23, that's when all my friends graduated college and started moving on with their lives and I started isolating.  I moved in with my aunt and became a live in nanny for her two young boys. I was no longer having any good phases, I was depressed all the time. I hated myself and I hated living so I drank. I gave up on life, really let myself go. I gained 100lbs and drank my pain away for about 5 years. I honestly don't remember much from those years it feels like how I imagine waking up from a coma feels, just a blur, time lost and then I woke up. I woke up when the suicidal thoughts got really loud and I came to a crossroads either find a way to end the pain or end it by killing myself.  It wasn't easy and it didn't take right away but finally in may 2017 a change happened inside me and I began to live my life for the first time in earnest. So I have told you all of this so you can understand why I can't get a good nights sleep. It makes sense to me that my subconscious is stuck in the past and when I dream those old fears, thoughts, anxieties come through and over time by continuing to live a positive life my  subconscious will heal and I will finally be able to rest. I guess I want to know if anyone has a different way of thinking about the bad dreams or has an idea of a way to help me rest. In the beginning I had tons of dreams where I would realize I was using drugs and be totally shattered that I gave up on my clean time and ruined my life. After about a year those dreams went away, I have none of them now.  Now I mostly have guilt and shame dreams, in them I realize that the people I am with all found out something terrible about me or just really don't like me even though they are trying to or dreams where I accidentally hurt people by crashing my car into them, stuff like that. I wake up, wide awake feeling this intense guilt or shame and it takes a while to fall back asleep. Wow didn't know I was going to write this book, if you made it this far thanks for reading and I hope you are doing well on your journey!",5.59854256854257,5.531303038961042,5.825670995670997,83.7721572871573,67.31168831168831,9.286002886002887,28.279942279942283,8.96741613852259,1.9317310245310244,3020,86,632,47,45,962,318,770,0.193,0.6779999999999999,0.129,-0.9946,2,0,9,0,0,1,59.0,0,5,6,7,32,57,4,10,39,1,59,30,6,16,5,115,125,52,3,10,16,1,7,5,1,9,22,2,1,6,44,40,2,2,21,11,1,14,12,38,1,3,45,10,92,19,101,66,22,126,0,13,0,0,28,47,0,16,66,427,136,4,0.04456707918895059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04828841168129895,0.054153879324480216,0.030307142118751382,0.0,0.03409369359408716,0.0,0.0,0.031162338005119236,0.0,0.0,0.03967414924765165,0.0,0.0,0.1256167138696628,0.06853866586936053,0.18605824777316188,0.0,0.049220837506613255,0.0,0.050211836649665186,0.0,0.03941595983735202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050972865786793185,0.0,0.045782666894020566,0.04714606039809551,0.03839059248240073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268698920004636,0.0,0.0,0.04656311213318031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584183137399237,0.0,0.07446015187934615,0.0,0.07894640790296238,0.0920994126667992,0.0,0.0294361354821675,0.0,0.0,0.12775726213578792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015035447312262,0.09013781731532908,0.03183873027750978,0.042791385072702484,0.09764211365974937,0.08146700595597038,0.07581746958203682,0.0,0.04886550198782301,0.03443241482796331,0.0,0.046568918875735416,0.0,0.07598549445547069,0.1121422546588243,0.07128872901513701,0.0,0.049095662263564516,0.0,0.03941052094174971,0.0,0.07984669817365334,0.08800152789637085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029872373746643224,0.0,0.0,0.04426516558953378,0.0,0.0,0.04770998003002778,0.0503108076808019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049306869960446524,0.04640975480837205,0.048985802384870825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045572857982698695,0.2518323682901686,0.10886611860798846,0.04466792153912927,0.19676773715292395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048650231576892085,0.037889336992612106,0.0,0.04217044791547868,0.11899548571066397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044896643588337316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03557301741388325,0.0947355042160848,0.06552386231546674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546955428626727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706261047657027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189690057879042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850886399119545,0.09269160357306927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04213029518660205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480514917532123,0.04457913967351735,0.0,0.17130487280235426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05048581288821488,0.03806004211698021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394795499386556,0.05034811396877066,0.0,0.03686634844858869,0.0,0.08919853000108872,0.0,0.0,0.06861982982028657,0.0,0.049889196391515636,0.22081365624805854,0.0,0.0,0.03726007378366795,0.0,0.0,0.05101864309107156,0.04874915110305498,0.0,0.0,0.04632225970716604,0.06701779421730285,0.03582133008112312,0.0,0.0410313787412589,0.0,0.0,0.02960838709621576,0.02855678480449412,0.04378692902372352,0.07076256536994673,0.2598742227403406,0.0,0.0,0.08517150809052529,0.0,0.03025812130938693,0.0,0.043535560517720055,0.046395901178162134,0.0,0.2309498828060133,0.0,0.03677250777299821,0.05257363599769763,0.1415010921336234,0.0,0.0,0.04007115648190916,0.08262825781323434,0.04021485700229864,0.04975755233231016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15829587181930432,0.0,0.054153879324480216,0.17219842685157855
mentalhealth,CharlieRogers64,2019/01/07,"My mom is crazy She's had another mental ""episode"" over Christmas.

Wrecked Christmas (started Christmas Eve), got better, got worse again.

Drinks, goes off her meds; repeat.

Now she's sober (I think) but off her meds (I think) but being very abusive. 

Right now it's bad.

No idea what to expect for tomorrow. 

I'm 36 and live at home for this reason. She's mostly okay in recent years, but things have been progressively and more frequently bad.

Only child, single parent family. She's driven away all the rest of the family.

Not sure how many more times I can do this.

I'm so damn tired...",1.74642857142857,4.440179357142862,2.4907142857142865,91.45428571428572,85.78571428571428,5.342857142857143,17.82142857142857,6.868970318607317,0.17456428571428573,456,11,89,6,14,142,83,112,0.231,0.736,0.034,-0.9802,1,0,1,0,1,0,28.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,1,0,2,1,7,2,0,2,2,15,15,7,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,2,1,0,4,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,5,0,10,3,10,9,6,19,0,0,0,0,9,7,1,1,11,52,15,0,0.0,0.1940492738720844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173473872999848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387412843712345,0.0,0.2734943448147105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484767861651476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043936565716502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087892527588645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261975274786511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642819469089889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848845932448983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446183224807158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604443734662142,0.0,0.0,0.3638392332664314,0.0,0.1650489588120057,0.0,0.0,0.19181394930026216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455998748926422,0.0,0.0,0.1818552672109746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839030193026916,0.1617102875373471,0.0,0.0,0.13986488649369716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159223886768498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435813077970262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880633520439828,0.2098837123211469,0.0,0.0,0.0954998382673871,0.18823786953486504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513339291509605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669030213948888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546718678504438
mentalhealth,anakingsman,2019/01/07,"My roommate is becoming awful because of his mental illness. Ok, I need some help here. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time, but this past year have made some strides to get better. My roommate is dealing with a lot of mental health stuff, and as much as I want to be there for him, I just can’t stand to be around him. He’s a jerk to everyone, he has the worst temper/patience ever. He leaves without saying anything, and really just doesn’t try to get better in any way. I want to help him so much, and he’s my best friend, but lately I really can’t be in the same room as him for more than an hour without having to take a breather to just vent in my head in the bathroom mirror. He relapses so often into just a blob of nothing and I don’t know what to do. It’s affecting my life negatively and I can’t really avoid him since I live with him and he’s there practically all the time. Advice? ",3.097083021690352,4.133809078534031,4.61971952131638,86.24090314136127,73.3979057591623,7.760807778608826,25.161181750186984,8.192908349453996,1.3778658189977562,718,22,154,11,14,241,107,191,0.109,0.752,0.139,0.7941,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,12,10,1,1,10,2,14,4,1,2,2,33,22,14,0,3,8,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,4,11,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,1,1,20,5,30,18,10,17,0,2,0,0,18,7,0,4,8,109,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915864479281656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968417634228702,0.0,0.10894110029621094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171889724454704,0.12677257922869484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681009306602391,0.1572775381662201,0.0,0.0,0.1494475459934945,0.2518951501727051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681554597327154,0.12265509251492815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288154441790795,0.0,0.13607615994529046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002343136750793,0.0,0.14880374424457948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615084763996106,0.15137216944209658,0.0,0.0,0.1909050572909093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024238318760407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826325997758862,0.0,0.16064149799943658,0.15078863802252346,0.0,0.0,0.10058640029724444,0.0,0.0,0.12574814593836092,0.12602586997858858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106948899737152,0.0,0.1347491137391184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870258789294717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20937132072842815,0.10559311699744016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664352666891086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359437637511361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736890515791386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324790261997356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780068806007275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630221465627573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707247399449002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607753974104622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668512504355127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799088477626747,0.11303618825877168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745508728175426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170555271322968
mentalhealth,linux-boi,2019/01/07,"The root of my issues Ok, so I don't have much people to talk to, so I hope I can share my thoughts here. I have a mental illness, still not sure what it is, but it eats me. Basically, I feel that God (even though I am not sure if I believe in such), and my parents, have eternal authority over me. For such reason, I feel that I am enslaved forever. I feel trapped. If it were up to me, I would rather not live. I feel like no matter what I do my parents have ultimate dominion over me, simply, because they are my parents. I indeed am an independent adult who lives with my mom, but I pay for all home expenses, including my mom's expenses. I am 21 years old, soon to be 22. I feel like a complete failure in life too, after my mental illness kicked in. Before, my life was completely different, but I don't want to talk about before right now, I want to talk about the present. I feel like even if I repay my parents the money they spent on me since I was a child, that they would still have some sort of authority/dominion/ownership of me, simply for giving me life. I'd rather not live feeling like this, since this makes me feel like a slave, and I can never escape this situation. I am merely their cells, so in a way, they own me. Also, pertaining the biblical God, I also feel like if I do believe in him, that he will forever have authority over me. At the end of the day, he is God, and last time someone tried to be just like him, they were cast to hell. I am not saying that I want to overthrow someone in power or something, but as long as there is a God, I feel like I can never be free, because if I ever try to reach my full potential, of'course without hurting anyone or anything, that I am not allowed to be as strong as God, ever, so at the end of the day, I will always be inferior. Such things make me feel like an eternal slave, and I do not see the point to look forward to anything. I would gladly prefer God to take my lie away, make me cease to exist, so that I do not have to be enslaved. I feel like whatever I do, there is no point to it, because as I have said, my parents & God will always have authority over me, so I can never achieve anything for myself. I feel trapped. This is my mental illness. I guess I just want your guy's opinion of this. I feel hopeless, as my parents will always be my parents, and if there is a God, God will always be God, therefore, I will always be an inferior slave. I'd rather just have not existed with such scenario. I have tried to be comfortable and happy with my situation, but I just can't feel genuinely happy, nor pretend. I feel very uncomfortable, depressed, and sad by knowing that I will always have someone who has eternal authority over me, whether it be God or my parents. I'd like to clarify that I do not have an issue with others having more power than me, such as a judge, cop, my boss, etc. This is because I know that they have their positions due to their own efforts, and I completely respect and back them up. But knowing that someone has eternal authority over me, just because they gave me life, and even them knowing that I would rather not exist if such is the case, and know that the situation still will not change, that's my issue. I know this may sound ridiculous to some, but to me it's very real. Sorry if I come of as weird since I know this sub has mostly posts about depression/anxiety. I also find myself very weird for thinking about this stuff 24/7. It really has ruined my life. Anyways, I don't know if you guys can understand exactly what I mean by what I have been writing, if not, please ask me for clarifications. Anyways, if you have read this far, I appreciate it very much, thank you. By the way, thank you to Reddit for being such an awesome platform for people with mental illness to vent, and express their thoughts and feelings. This is the best website I have found in regards to being able to be open and share personal issues of mental illness. Thanks to all the community :) Anyways, if you guys have any personal, philosophical, etc, opinions about the post please share, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks! 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mentalhealth,qianmianduimian,2019/01/07,"Am I mentally ill? For the past year I've been off of antidepressants, things are going really well so far. My grades are great, I have a caring and loving girlfriend and my family is very supportive. However, ever since I got off my meds I've been experiencing a sense of surrealism, nothing feels real. Everything feels foggy and distant as if I was dreaming. On top of that I can hold conversations with myself, I can talk to myself as if I am my own best friend. This isn't new though, I've been talking to myself for years. I've also been  experiencing lightheadedness after stopping my medication. Could these symptoms or signs indicate mental illness? Or am I just overthinking things?",5.465984251968505,7.518602724409451,6.644889763779527,70.04213779527561,69.0,9.804409448818898,29.23543307086614,10.125756701596842,3.3096998425196844,554,21,92,15,10,186,85,127,0.053,0.754,0.193,0.9624,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,3,0,16,5,0,0,1,17,23,12,0,3,5,0,2,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,6,4,16,7,14,16,2,13,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,4,7,69,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808317024447184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812052439472489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17604734078938614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786197989064386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618880746064182,0.0,0.0,0.15518357612579362,0.0,0.16277676957443002,0.0,0.17461305828092286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334034800526636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813165340981647,0.0,0.13809900622228735,0.19036795229334869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584032584231694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19179610205474365,0.1739456418404964,0.3480190595625604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676459487707349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16568036242582554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483189944587048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965348868294015,0.11061604932441832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14283340870654684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443588413590896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19594249846930345,0.0,0.17946898815300866,0.0,0.2775692681917917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22942694534301397,0.0,0.16964621104180666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246983639374766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524998032029474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223860812199813
mentalhealth,slywalker616,2019/01/07,"My thoughts start screaming before I go to sleep So, this thing has been happening from time to time over the last few years, but now it's been happening more often and I'm worried something's wrong with me.

After I go to bed, before I fall asleep, sometimes my thoughts, which are almost always quiet, or, well, not loud, turn into screams. Whatever word, sentence, feeling, impression, anything that goes through my mind feels like it wants to rip my head apart. 

It makes me feel the kind of fear I've never felt before, a fear of something unavoidable, like my mind will tear itself to shreds with it's own thoughts. 

I've found a remedy though, at least there's that, if I focus my hearing on a video or a song and just turn something on my phone it goes away, but it comes so suddenly and unexpectedly that every time I think I might be falling asleep, I'm afraid of the fear I'll feel if it happens. 

Is this normal? ",6.540833333333335,6.23819141666667,6.114444444444448,83.28500000000003,65.3888888888889,8.977777777777778,31.333333333333336,8.238735603445708,2.071600000000001,725,24,146,8,10,224,111,180,0.146,0.7759999999999999,0.078,-0.9429,0,1,3,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,4,7,0,8,4,4,1,1,35,32,12,0,4,8,0,5,2,0,2,0,6,1,0,15,7,0,0,10,2,0,5,2,7,1,0,7,11,15,5,19,22,4,22,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,7,12,87,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142633922072586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494758953253583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390174737283942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720889125495738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912943285014578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829455160551874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961415114197332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3852120756969218,0.2307871737007477,0.08151928673024668,0.10956225825971803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511431307223422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297012214550234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027178718029735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710845898746865,0.0,0.12860881171476618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188266641391966,0.0,0.09301383025528044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114955057649714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616845140103441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105131109677462,0.23043454098440425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800767335696916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180231029264236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419112005562025,0.0,0.0,0.26353938428499657,0.11285643402743074,0.0,0.08076673374465043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580875795858931,0.073116255211217,0.11211123028493644,0.2717687140417438,0.19961312300510572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24823502326481345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730427485632658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259743609087242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158829361147873,0.0,0.0,0.12475996360481985,0.0,0.07348226939673236
mentalhealth,QuickAnonAccount,2019/01/07,How Do I Stop Thinking? It’s nonstop. There are always thoughts racing through my head. Someone will tell a joke or I’ll be watching a show and I’ll miss the punchline because my mind was stuck on a previous idea. I don’t really think I’m a smart person. I’m expecting some comments along the lines of... “That’s just how your mind works and you should put it to use.” That may or may not be the problem but I’m afraid that my hyperactive mind will one day do some serious harm. Thanks,1.1076545454545474,3.405626020000004,2.351454545454548,94.3957272727273,83.8,5.636363636363638,23.09090909090909,6.980632752743323,0.6815000000000002,382,14,84,5,11,122,69,100,0.11,0.797,0.094,-0.1379,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,4,8,0,1,7,0,12,1,1,3,0,26,22,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,4,2,0,1,2,5,0,1,3,1,7,3,5,12,2,4,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,6,2,49,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730560532564098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267827012817915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341299192986712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21344752210235696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23478414844386936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6300016523807851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409326568902051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160014775940872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900880886129585,0.0,0.20907738351604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332373385203193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762208119965354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17388062520793915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178372104584228,0.19148007677325385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665304220578601,0.0,0.1651129192508103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17962797679524026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514119453128211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,some-velvet-morning,2019/01/07,"Maybe I’m just not meant for work I have PTSD, major depression, severe anxiety (all probably a result of the PTSD) and lately I’ve been suspecting that I might have another undiagnosed disorder. I’ve been through 5 jobs since 2018. At all of them, I’ve sincerely tried my best to do a good job every day and I really made an effort to get along with my coworkers and supervisors, but at every job I have ever had (pretty much all retail), I’ve either been ostracized and ignored completely or actively harassed by my coworkers (one once threw a chair at me, and another locked me in the freezer as a ‘prank’, not to mention tons of vulgar, open sexual harassment).

My coworkers always tell my boss that I’m not working, that I’m just wandering around doing nothing, when in fact I’ve been busting my ass doing really hard work all day. For some reason whenever I’m doing a task, and another coworker sees me, they’re aggressively like “where have you been?!” umm, doing my job? I don’t know how to convince people that I’m working when I’m literally already working. I do everything my supervisors tell me to do. I’m very polite and I do everything I’m told and I follow all the rules. But literally nobody sees it.


I don’t know why this is a recurring theme. Apart from just trying my best and being very kind and polite to everybody, never saying a bad word about anyone or even giving any sass of any kind to the supervisors, I’ve also had panic attacks at work, anxiety attacks, I’ve openly cried many times when I’m overwhelmed because I just can’t help it, I feel so much pressure every moment of the day to do everything right, and I try as hard as I possibly can, but apparently it’s meaningless because people ALWAYS think I’m not doing anything.


Unfortunately where I live, your only options for work with a high school diploma are retail or food service which is pretty much the same thing. I cry every day when I get home from work and I’m so sore from the physical labor and running around that I don’t even have the energy to do anything fun. Maybe this isn’t for me. I was thinking of looking into disability or something, because if this is how things are going to be for the rest of my life I’d rather die. ",6.730993883792053,6.386632114678902,7.7876605504587175,71.58574159021408,65.00917431192661,11.11987767584098,33.30428134556575,10.686352973137794,3.567306116207951,1766,66,323,42,24,602,209,436,0.14400000000000002,0.7340000000000001,0.122,-0.8584,5,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,1,11,22,20,5,3,18,0,38,4,1,6,8,66,66,33,1,2,18,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,14,21,1,1,8,0,2,4,10,11,1,1,12,7,36,9,43,51,16,34,0,2,3,1,10,16,1,8,15,210,50,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775573466051951,0.056347831208028075,0.11725879874438422,0.0,0.0,0.09583212400280293,0.22165427325255105,0.10780531728858156,0.0,0.0,0.04926813996883185,0.0,0.11596719991679935,0.12545089126217165,0.0,0.16031967387048932,0.0,0.0,0.05883219540291141,0.1288575606642671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788945650468086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387727354056473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479673541319022,0.1817666925448716,0.0,0.060688166035037086,0.0,0.07312764666622093,0.0,0.0807546898679785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307797398505092,0.0637362289973045,0.2374665474721573,0.0,0.1899780676742784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035627321987579126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520201568818574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362618340735533,0.06759284554880114,0.04004474863020046,0.0590995482863931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623886888789848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04722868645828505,0.07444617266293861,0.0706783725876916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27968764848353034,0.0,0.0,0.1467490850938347,0.07744731374092925,0.0,0.07948335207949353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976886028081482,0.03442380458462846,0.0,0.06221856918314675,0.0,0.059169698672301575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667213256292986,0.0,0.07143664188128747,0.1415755800591893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474824477127219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539136469766288,0.0,0.05434405501463569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760946377409152,0.0,0.0,0.07503892503826153,0.0477463623486046,0.05358895101335517,0.0,0.08267108787345064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769790910261064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943446538541821,0.0,0.1433688324332049,0.07596913823238427,0.0,0.16473084673452645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027855408006563,0.07244589392755875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017351720949096,0.0,0.056033609175128125,0.0,0.0713105404694862,0.11229697731746617,0.0,0.0,0.07960114949566988,0.0,0.05828626899581199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054244507900336615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317246556835013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362263893473427,0.0902974398504053,0.0,0.0,0.04108651789271772,0.0,0.0,0.06732873799891316,0.0,0.1435156780232477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627581086293405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358031298198244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103729973923741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LifeSpanner,2019/01/07,"Is it weird that I find solace knowing how to kill myself? I struggle. A lot. I’ve had suicidal ideations since I was old enough to remember having thoughts. Mental illness runs deep in my family. I have Bipolar 2. 

What’s weird is that right now, I’m happy. I’m okay, albeit a little bored, as I’m in my room alone with no one in the building. But I was looking in the mirror and decided “why not?”. 

I wasn’t suicidal I don’t think, at least I don’t want to kill myself at this very moment. But for some reason killing myself in that moment seemed like a fun thing to do. It made me feel free, like nothing matters because I can just end it all at any moment and people would care and miss me and think about me. 

I don’t know if it’s my issues feeling isolated that makes me happy knowing people would think about me when I’m gone. I don’t know if it’s just that I subconsciously think it’s cool and edgy to be a broken mentally ill turd. I don’t know if it’s just weird brain chemistry. 

But when I run this box cutter up and down my arm just lightly enough to not break skin, I feel like it’s going to be okay. Because nothing in this life matters. We’re all made of stardust that will die along with the universe. And because of that, I don’t fear killing myself anymore. I don’t worry for my family or my problems or the things I’m missing out on by dying. 

Death basically just finishes the race. But if the value of the race is in running it instead of finishing it, why does the end matter? I’ve run a great race so far, I’ve loved every minute of it. But if life is just chasing another high and avoiding another low, how does that not seem tedious? Why does it matter if I die right now? 

Is this a weird line of thinking? I’m hopefully starting therapy soon so maybe this will be a good starting point. 

",1.8621245306633296,3.698294930851066,3.410175219023781,90.31029411764708,78.41489361702128,6.125657071339173,23.824780976220275,7.048011613610866,0.8267480600750945,1418,48,302,16,34,468,175,376,0.206,0.669,0.126,-0.9862,0,2,0,0,0,4,38.0,0,0,0,0,18,31,4,3,15,3,27,9,3,6,2,73,63,28,10,11,22,0,4,3,0,4,5,0,1,0,28,12,0,1,20,0,1,6,12,16,0,1,8,7,33,16,36,48,7,45,0,3,1,1,1,23,0,13,18,188,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433991934109515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055377160394560636,0.17077897931438635,0.0,0.0,0.08075954920819325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892220910700546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090906041214517,0.0,0.0,0.08302626268332898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253543462227361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378742300150494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425074709739308,0.16828389583914652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861072539372902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535353703024538,0.09163464547796824,0.1235247540215505,0.058175675767394075,0.0,0.0,0.07442818986381984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628019030006291,0.06830204795640236,0.0,0.08978005315345224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733736598707688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603832352074609,0.0,0.08088123799791612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499478443914478,0.0,0.0,0.3603737278367813,0.0,0.22376694452863527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503692262292133,0.11935199606876455,0.08161715300874828,0.0,0.0,0.06838312158828973,0.0,0.0,0.06923133443800551,0.07349636621617102,0.15410754659582784,0.05435708910302536,0.0,0.08181028737984956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413040792598166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627411616165776,0.0,0.08545012379917717,0.0,0.05518103649582375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291063072817285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698040629753597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792028183589009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372657769406025,0.0,0.0,0.09224759454408213,0.13908649312280186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826689664192325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673621314474295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527724305705568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513134181893793,0.0,0.17814873795456154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312561127247326,0.0,0.10820079272581247,0.26089455189722355,0.0,0.06464862171873374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719066591883079,0.04803123075350025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204415623619045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269905673605626,0.0,0.1156951829926691,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beautifulchaos22,2019/01/07,"Just spent 5 days in a hospitals mental health unit and I kind of want to go back Hi everyone,

This might seem like a weird post, but I’d like to vent and just see if anyone else has felt the same.

I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for years now, and on New Year’s Day, everything kind of just came spiraling downward and hit me in the gut. I was suicidal and so depressed that I called several hotlines which were all closed for the holiday. I then went to the nearest hospital emergency department and was admitted to the mental health inpatient unit on Jan 1. 

On Jan 2, I had a breakdown in the unit and was placed in the high observation unit of the same ward (cameras in the rooms). I had a bunch of panic attacks in the high observation unit because the screaming of the other patients made me scared, but after all of that, I felt a lot safer having the nurses and doctors there to help me.
I got discharged yesterday (Jan 6), despite me telling my psychiatrist I wasn’t feeling ready to leave. 
I kind of wish I could go back although I know being in a hospital is not a permanent fix and long term inpatient is not the best. I’m using all my community resources that I can and hopefully those help.

Anybody else feel like this ever?


Thanks for reading.

tl;dr : went to hospital for depression and suicidal thoughts and was discharged and I wish I could go back in some way. Anybody else feel like this? ",5.03308106031502,6.181950744525551,5.623991548213604,80.42682865923936,68.92700729927007,9.564041490587783,31.93930080676143,9.811843763644266,3.06663795620438,1120,48,216,26,19,362,146,274,0.175,0.675,0.15,-0.9337,0,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,10,18,1,2,21,0,17,4,1,2,4,51,44,20,2,7,8,0,5,4,0,1,3,1,1,0,9,17,0,0,9,2,1,7,3,8,0,0,17,7,21,10,31,22,10,42,0,3,1,0,6,18,0,6,19,139,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379840850354727,0.0,0.0,0.06745326503509863,0.09884374006736496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109747246991341,0.0,0.2225357798865366,0.0,0.05880651740158909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123810957565824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850548478458623,0.11033466824441236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15404505876826852,0.0,0.0,0.12442885904094356,0.0,0.24926544521338595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873995878804412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417620442236785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726160049096034,0.0,0.09218012313013016,0.0866999847352051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14633265193526354,0.13783473572727972,0.1852504544462482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644764168685254,0.0,0.07715495434719011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20508375931915493,0.0,0.0,0.12932207738898366,0.20384927941906136,0.0,0.09581533791985858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013723961394166,0.05301675873422669,0.0,0.0,0.10214658633172208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18851923499708625,0.0,0.0,0.08537189921348991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201436906778244,0.0,0.0912811612345748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19443582822950048,0.10233820819407312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317021936970132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318541362827125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078941904366946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239049472680276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649495884873807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965821509875528,0.0,0.07687318598213265,0.08782162066090432,0.0,0.10898234513068096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110425353226225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431802956499433,0.0888155588497558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658549361216722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331811545601317,0.0,0.0,0.05689982892536712,0.07657248526151376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788551864352718,0.0,0.0,0.22186884015012429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424555696193752
mentalhealth,h0203throwaway,2019/01/07,"DAE struggle to accept their diagnosis and worry that it's not serious enough? I know worrying about faking is an anxiety thing, but the way I experience it has a slightly different aspect. I worry because anxiety is a mild and common disorder which means I don't have it bad enough for my problems to be considered real. I know this sounds horrible but I really needed to let it out.

Whenever I read that GAD is a common disorder I feel horrible and end up having obsessive ruminations over it that last for days, wondering if I'm really mentally ill if so many other people experience it compared to other more serious mental illnesses. 

Every time I get told that ""any level of pain is serious"", I simply don't believe it because there are objectively people who have it worse and more serious conditions. When I get told that if it's causing me issues it's real problem, it doesn't mean much to me because I am so used to anxiety that I genuinely can't tell if it even actually affects me. I get overwhelmed very easily, I don't work and I struggle to go outside more than twice a week, because everything is so loud and too much all the time outside, but when I live like this, with not much to do and my own schedule, I can get by relatively easily. I'd probably have a few meltdowns if I went to class or work, but I'm so used to enduring everything that if I wanted to I could force myself through it until exhaustion probably, like I've done through school until graduation, without ever complaining much because after all my anxiety isn't that serious. If it was serious, I wouldn't have been able to get through school, right? That's how these ruminations go.

The thing is, I've had it ever since I can remember. I don't know what life without anxiety is like, I genuinely thought this is how all people lived until I was in middle school. When I was diagnosed with GAD at 22 I was disappointed because that's just so normal and I feel like it doesn't explain everything. I had unexplainable meltdowns all my life, horrible intrusive thoughts since forever and obsessions over my parents getting into accidents and dying despite having never experienced an accident. I lashed out at my parents and cried too much for no reason, and still self harm. I don't know if the age of onset for GAD can be that early, but by the time I was 3/4 I already showed ""weird"" behavior, so this is all so normal to me. How can I only have GAD? And only a mild form of it, with a few OCD traits (purely obsessive, no compulsions), according to the psych? Does it really explain all of this? This diagnosis feels so incomplete to me, and whenever I go on the anxiety subreddit all I can think of is that I mostly can't relate to those people.

It doesn't help that I have ASD traits and wonder if I'm on the spectrum, so obsessive thoughts over it make me wonder if these traits are also just the mild anxiety disorder im diagnosed with so I don't really have it that bad, I'm making it all up.

Does anyone else experience obsessive thoughts over this, or struggled to accept their diagnosis because they didn't think it was serious enough to be a real disorder on its own? I feel so alone because I've never seen anyone talk about it. Every time I see people talk about anxiety I feel sick and angry because it reminds me that I only have GAD. I don't get how people are reassured by being told "" it's normal"" to have it and that it's common - to me it means that after all my problems arent real, or not very serious because so many people have GAD and it's not a big deal. It's basically normal if it's common, right? So I'm not really suffering. I get the impulse to self harm from just thinking about this, and often I end up doing it, it's a huge trigger for me. It's like I'm stuck in a cycle of worrying over my problems being fake -> frustration because I'm suffering -> self invalidation because my disorder is common and so on. I don't know what to do anymore.",6.093568561872907,6.230010325641029,7.558171683389077,71.07566889632109,66.25641025641025,11.346711259754741,34.13600891861761,11.075328022314027,3.9898099219620953,3154,134,574,89,46,1093,266,780,0.2,0.722,0.078,-0.9987,5,1,0,0,0,0,78.0,0,0,3,2,37,43,1,9,23,0,70,9,0,12,14,129,126,64,1,23,29,2,5,5,0,1,9,2,0,3,72,27,0,0,29,2,0,4,28,35,0,1,21,10,70,8,75,97,26,60,0,4,2,0,21,25,0,20,35,418,142,9,0.04519696890536202,0.0,0.04410572191048723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681042909331814,0.04987597908089565,0.0361439997044029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030735488725749906,0.0,0.2766044600244634,0.0,0.044823248366286365,0.063205543080999,0.046309635774221536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547516231464979,0.3306198328993211,0.0,0.0,0.0509215066599807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046429737143883015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0360861019600998,0.0,0.049646748056380786,0.029148305892011474,0.046596090349183404,0.0,0.0917479441004422,0.0469073180426329,0.04722121282163813,0.2589982102364848,0.0,0.07910434413216197,0.04625219124262052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03775626797205178,0.0,0.08006219855809749,0.14010165237176198,0.0,0.02985217169922585,0.08176649190040576,0.07616079126410441,0.0,0.12186036400428217,0.1326339246234558,0.0,0.0,0.11426472747759114,0.032288723616772035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890840653562704,0.0,0.07705943698042317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030294575546048436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048820482256594806,0.04717389299602789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419536053767967,0.03684156201695229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04621696289406335,0.06384791154204893,0.1104047801003889,0.0,0.0798195031805813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033865540908887,0.09164526505051797,0.0,0.1476982472502019,0.0,0.0,0.09109582843213544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16612486287667722,0.033512979754612406,0.0697173774491324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17713373320850168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312299451784462,0.048092761538549335,0.0,0.10037177053749494,0.0,0.0,0.21933721186909733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745995368225753,0.17298958103380782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045209199847031686,0.20577618196019468,0.14477167807653435,0.04647001157925352,0.0,0.0,0.05119935514724725,0.07719592898627327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722523644970575,0.03601613254628296,0.0,0.14145088698283498,0.0,0.0,0.07477479946220991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036094357751126925,0.0,0.0,0.14174905564176973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265522315075247,0.03950414296033047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005371566990035,0.08688117810281566,0.0,0.14352537904175985,0.10541886413244997,0.0,0.0,0.12956292198787364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807133921749362,0.0,0.0745844655128506,0.02665834327346809,0.03587525017134029,0.0362542822167436,0.0,0.0,0.04189804298432559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713653033434482,0.14704255441275568,0.06580786331281042,0.1835988633458984,0.04605957259964207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dreamer607,2019/01/07,Personality disorders I have a question for those with personality disorders. Is there any hope?,6.190000000000001,9.640945333333338,8.386666666666667,43.84000000000003,95.66666666666666,12.666666666666668,38.333333333333336,9.725611199111238,7.264333333333335,80,5,10,4,3,28,13,15,0.0,0.805,0.195,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496764689284175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6908789272923407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993659644534812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5263553486739373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376457282415564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wandering-Hermit,2019/01/07,"Nominal aphasia sucks I just spent 20 minutes trying to get the word ""exposition"" to come up. It's exhausting sometimes because I know the damn word, my brain just won't think it. So I sit there for 20 minutes going over a list of similar words trying to knock it loose while getting more stressed over my inability to use the word I want to. I should just let it go, I have an extensive vocabulary and so have plenty of synonyms for most words. It becomes an obsession though. I *need* to say *that* word, and I go mad with it at times.",2.0060120068610634,4.370870424528302,3.4191252144082362,87.71258147512863,80.60377358490565,6.873413379073758,25.674099485420236,8.00094639256281,1.623652830188679,419,17,86,8,11,137,69,106,0.194,0.794,0.012,-0.9565,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,3,2,6,0,5,2,1,1,0,20,18,6,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,6,0,0,1,1,10,0,15,14,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,1,2,55,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762146589282255,0.26745208899215817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703360998282909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086036052451397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530423143195877,0.0,0.4128836536454136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308748735767106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476300015654564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956219339033586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257923593438936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239507262902154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773990569952723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516947979268525,0.2379257694746204,0.0,0.1412082915854064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32882812089844504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091527075995788,0.0,0.0,0.14283512314889346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bmcspillin,2019/01/07,"How to deal with a fixated person frequenting my venue? Good evening, Reddit!  Casual lurker coming out of the shadows for this one.

I recently started to manage a venue that has a ready-made community, and my boss is someone well-known within the community, as is the person who is fixated on her.

This person is known for being unpredictable.  Clearly she is not well.  She is not only grieving  a major loss, but seems to be experiencing many symptoms of dementia.  She does not know my boss personally, but has barraged her with messages on Facebook, emails, and, now that she has found the phone number, phone calls.

She attempted to enter a sold-out event without a ticket, thinking she had purchased one (though she had not), and became so frustrated, she assaulted our security guards.  We ultimately called the police, who took her to the hospital.

The following week, she did purchase a ticket, and returned, and I informed her she was no longer welcome after the previous week's events.  She was more docile, apologetic, not in touch with reality and clearly set on the outcome that she get to talk to my boss. I listened to her empathetically for 30 minutes (our plan had been to call the police if she returned, but I made the call that this would not be necessary that night), accepted her apology, but stood firm: she could not come in and that was not going to change.

She has continued to harass my employer digitally.  These are clearly the warning signs of a ""fixated person"" and I get the feeling we're not giving her enough credit for the damage she could do: to herself, to my employer, to our guests and to our business. My boss is hesitant to start the process for filing a restraining order, and I can't stand outside with her, blocking the door, whenever she makes an appearance. 

I am unsure what the next steps we should take to resolve this problem.  Is it possible to mitigate what I think is a very real threat, here, using some ninja conversational techniques and boundary-setting rather than calling the authorities? Can anyone refer me to some good literature on addressing this sort of thing?

Love,

B",7.63446671195652,8.289198341145838,7.730158514492754,69.37797554347829,62.984375,10.844927536231888,36.22690217391305,10.662846686107436,4.1065130434782615,1689,75,277,40,23,547,209,384,0.118,0.777,0.105,-0.8802,2,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,6,0,0,4,8,18,4,0,29,0,33,2,0,8,3,72,57,20,1,7,16,0,2,0,1,2,1,1,2,5,18,20,0,4,11,3,3,8,12,8,1,2,12,4,48,10,44,38,5,34,0,3,0,1,58,8,0,6,15,212,66,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236793561945194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5284131596405689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948674849235253,0.17830805408134598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526884042805093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067014917405745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905714563046958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694069818133274,0.0,0.0683591955490957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233150156514305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347978772600588,0.0,0.0,0.10814645943809073,0.09928433868430407,0.058820077084314436,0.17361777035764125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687957997043045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341063418761067,0.09793194141240223,0.06908545860310678,0.10493033233658387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007088279764998,0.09712549622451623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026531867014858,0.0787145964775987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518506064897345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667800490568887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903323547942136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780293912693825,0.0,0.0,0.10219140420896268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422033739474654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769318941550541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651228265744728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757364571570432,0.07781732257186096,0.08318745880646053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875921347181202,0.1326341793668165,0.10168587671572593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498965330703174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938870508517863,0.0,0.08539636771300557,0.0,0.0,0.16603908034005768,0.0,0.18611356259619588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976800308886168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352173292493366,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,badnipa,2019/01/07,I saw my therapist litter and i feel uncomfortable about that. But I shouldn't care right? ,3.0452941176470567,5.967111470588236,3.6897058823529436,83.74867647058825,81.3529411764706,8.105882352941178,20.264705882352946,8.841846274778883,1.6556117647058817,73,2,14,2,2,23,15,17,0.322,0.6779999999999999,0.0,-0.6402,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5551804925220113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753286793838979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4650221824966071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6322365924381695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NateG_,2019/01/07,"What physical symptoms do you experience as a result of anxiety Hey everyone, just curious what symptoms you all experience with anxiety and or other illnesses. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and while I don't experience panic attacks, I do live with anxiety everyday. As a result I usually am always concerned of my own physical health and would like some assurance my symptoms are normal for someone like me ",10.0662676056338,10.772154746478877,11.44235915492958,44.64128521126764,57.87323943661972,16.677464788732394,50.1443661971831,14.90622815163357,8.993081690140844,341,23,42,17,4,121,47,71,0.16,0.654,0.18600000000000005,0.4781,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,1,5,1,1,2,0,7,5,0,2,2,15,7,7,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,9,3,7,6,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231359288233338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4865855360966777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180903030618368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18224548218037284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15194607695563028,0.0,0.4666428683890544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902598747816555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537383340249056,0.0,0.14041355566956018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580137884696765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18657036881083047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473327478095706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.495833815510898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751330526682125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296001332112265,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cay12250,2019/01/07,"Dealing with Anxiety and Depression I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety ever since middle school (now a 22 year old female). I was never diagnosed with anything because I never was able to seek treatment. I think I have social anxiety, depression, and OCD. Since around 8th grade I’ve dealt with anxiety around people I’m not comfortable with just yet, and it takes me a while to be comfortable. It makes me sick to be the center of attention and I would never be the one to speak up or raise my hand in class and I hated group projects. I had 1 friend that I would be around all day because it seemed like I wasn’t capable of forming connections with others and I never knew how to hold conversations without becoming anxious. It was almost like my mind would shut off and I couldn’t think of anything to say. Now that I’ve been out of school for a while, I still don’t really have friends. I moved states over 3 years ago and have yet to make friends. I have a boyfriend and I spend a lot of time with my sister (we’re best friends). I’ve tried to make friends, but I overthink it. I’ll get the courage to ask to hang out and if they don’t express interest on their own to do something I’ll think that they don’t want to be friends. I hate parties and will constantly worry that people are thinking I’m weird for being shy and quiet. I’ve had depression since around the same time as the social anxiety. I find it hard not to want to do anything but lay in bed and feel down a lot of the time. I would never commit suicide, but I have had thoughts that it would be so much easier if I didn’t have to be here. As for the OCD, I think I developed it within the last 6 months or so, or maybe it’s always been there but just got worse. I have wild thoughts that everyone I care about will die, specifically in a car accident. Anytime my sister or boyfriend leaves I’m worried they won’t make it home. I have an intense fear of driving and firmly believe that I will die in an accident, so I have compulsions in the car as well. I was in a car accident this past summer so that must have triggered that intense fear. I have 2 dogs and think that when they’re in their kennel when I’m not home that they’ll get out and get into something and get hurt. I have to take pictures of the locks on their kennels and I’ll think to myself that if I don’t, they will get out and something bad will happen. I’m terrified that someone will break in at night so I go back and forth checking the locks multiple times and taking pictures. I‘have to wake up early for work every morning, so I check my alarms over and over, probably 30 times, until I fall asleep. I think that if I don’t I’ll miss work and get fired. These are just a few of the things when it comes to the obsessive thinking. Constantly worrying and overthinking is mentally exhausting me, and I don’t have access to seek therapy. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. Some advice would be greatly appreciated.",4.185470653377632,5.1660114451827255,4.779401993355481,86.32586932447401,70.76079734219269,8.324695459579178,27.954595791805097,8.634040054169528,1.8638589147286837,2358,82,493,39,42,754,254,602,0.18600000000000005,0.716,0.098,-0.9956,0,0,3,0,0,2,49.0,0,0,8,3,29,32,2,5,24,0,62,6,3,7,9,112,106,55,3,14,19,2,4,2,6,15,3,3,3,0,30,44,0,1,17,0,3,9,20,16,1,1,15,7,57,16,75,66,11,78,0,6,0,0,26,31,0,13,38,331,87,7,0.05965434335461399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829353391270418,0.052879976046750835,0.0,0.059735207817601624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04963719248084837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281770469258083,0.06739242805696202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472713251041438,0.21242005216338167,0.055768758292147017,0.0,0.0,0.04587050779683673,0.04980888493751611,0.07272946803475186,0.0658835354314434,0.0,0.06721001686616136,0.06260355297015581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082157880360135,0.0,0.0,0.05138693464345295,0.0,0.12893030514520906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0384721163830321,0.12300201717036086,0.20552079407585366,0.060547902790870474,0.12382358039179618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05396076883985899,0.050261357146994055,0.05700228150605573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425544233722098,0.030163028412557757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452298909656541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765327861806676,0.0,0.18700159356337429,0.0,0.03390293806330921,0.0,0.04771102790866059,0.06576912414679423,0.0,0.0,0.05275213881699079,0.0,0.05343857433857002,0.11779262757166027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119676340605063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386120836158997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032784467011839215,0.048626251793156015,0.0,0.06316533620533066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828819781158288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014319789211738,0.0,0.0,0.15927894965109024,0.0,0.05993080598842732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060117547250153225,0.0,0.06023388124644963,0.0,0.04761552773001955,0.06340312624503268,0.08770561256472023,0.0,0.23004553584346465,0.0,0.0,0.05598156014226048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259719841000028,0.0,0.04042332692362708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056946820761627374,0.0827136209995493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431747173643346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03821609988972798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047439528185609536,0.0,0.12074676053652597,0.0,0.05430707372959267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480400678217344,0.0,0.0,0.1216201812028536,0.050544931538703285,0.1377744838857234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04764003566165146,0.0,0.0,0.06236367202081133,0.0,0.06525216933822756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455792638411354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821994055357589,0.0,0.03963169501248995,0.34401685036342305,0.0,0.09471777033749826,0.1739246366879843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04050138332384248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037135460258546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363641887442617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750465822364099,0.0,0.0868581448839186,0.18174564410203808,0.06079287229148338,0.2542604037143525,0.0,0.0,0.07683088255179515
mentalhealth,PinkClaudia35,2019/01/07,"Possible disconnect from reality. I'm a fairly normal person diagnosed with depression, but no longer even close to active suicidal thoughts or tendencies. As far as I know, I don't have any other mental health conditions. But lately I don't know what to make of things happening more and more frequently. I wasn't sure where to even talk about this so I thought the mantal health subreddit is the most appropriate one.

The one definitive thing that really freaked me out just a few minutes ago is making me question several things and I really don't know what to make of it, if it's really just my mind playing tricks or if there's something more serious going on with my mental health.

​

I was just scrolling through my youtube feed, listening to music, then I pass by recommandations from youtube of this channel that I've been following for years, Nomad Colossus. I KNOW for a fact that I have watched all of his videos across the years and I've always followed his findings closely as I was really intrigued with this video game.

What caught my attention was the fact that seeing the name of the game, Shadow of the Colossus, seemed really out of place for me. I had literally been watching more of Nomad's videos on the game just a few weeks ago, but for some reason this time I **strongly** felt like I did not remember the game being called ""Shadow"" of the Colossus. I remembered it as *something* of the Colossus, but not the word Shadow.

Moreover I did not recognise the thumbnails or titles of the videos, even though as I've said before, I know for a fact I have watched all his videos throughout the years. [And as you can see they're not exactly new videos either.](https://gyazo.com/a0554f46388cbdf168a521f3a09bfe55) These videos are also the types that would really intrigue me to watch and I know I would've never passed the opportunity to watch them after seeing the titles. I don't remember animals in the game other than the lizards and birds, I have no idea what's in the thumbnail for the video about animals as it freaked me out too much to watch it yet.  I would have always loved to see the lost music track, more beta colossi and the pool scene. I would have never *not* wanted to watch these videos!

And regarding to the name of the game, I starting feeling like I was going mad because I felt like I knew for *sure* that Shadow of the Colossus was not the name. I remember the game being called ""SotC"" for some reason though and that's the only thing that doesn't feel unnatural to remember.

I even felt the need to go back through my discord server and search to see if I had really said ""shadow of the colossus"", and to my surprise [on 6th of February 2017 I indeed called the game Shadow of the Colossus](https://gyazo.com/1b170dd949e874a048dc0806e7ecdbf6).

​

​

I feel like I should also mention, as it might be relevant, that I've had deja vu feelings way more than any of my peers. I only found out the deja vu feelings weren't normal when I was a kid and no one around me had them to the frequency that I did when I talked about it. Lately though, especially in the past 3ish years, they've become extremely frequent, with several cases at minimum of 5 times a month, sometimes several in a span of a few days. Doctors don't believe it's cause for concern but it's starting to get tiring and annoying. They're small things most of the time like feeling as I've seen things on the internet before, heard of new tv show plot a few years back before they were filmed etc.

​

No matter how many times I repeat the name Shadow of the Colossus in my head it still feels unnatural and I'm still at loss as to why I feel this way and why I don't remember seeing Nomad's videos... It doesn't help that I've recently changed computers and youtube did not keep track of my history to show me with the red line underneath the thumbnail that I had watched it, as it usually does.

I don't know if these are even symptoms or hints to another serious mental health problem, as google dismisses deja vu as innocent and I have not yet found anything certain about this sort of... *amnesia* I suppose I could call it.

​

It feels really disheartening, especially when this game has been my all time favorite for several years and I have always been very deep into findings about its lost content or secrets, and Nomad's videos especially.",6.962004860267314,7.5714330267314764,6.58662964763062,77.15677557715676,64.41919805589308,9.840379100850546,32.37737545565006,9.74208191438628,2.993843470230863,3523,131,635,67,50,1099,301,823,0.085,0.86,0.055,-0.976,1,0,2,0,0,0,117.0,0,1,3,5,34,26,3,0,54,0,54,11,1,7,12,138,111,57,1,14,26,0,12,5,0,5,8,4,0,2,50,32,1,1,39,27,0,8,25,13,0,3,37,32,71,13,104,65,19,78,0,5,16,1,37,27,0,17,46,431,121,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781902858057657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053919842209437,0.11009307937021502,0.2389309320642763,0.2679532503013638,0.05998386331221708,0.046246425777369315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036293470174502164,0.03926151690870286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782582714332841,0.0,0.026885119459542414,0.048708914511652636,0.112586637834252,0.04968960673440387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013865420856734,0.0,0.0,0.0453065027094814,0.046655716193035116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035213102136747325,0.0,0.0,0.028443146162570883,0.0,0.03798632967801409,0.04476418275957952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04514186020094308,0.03859532060938794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491871251577328,0.14564991976839867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20070075572974969,0.06301518096023549,0.1270389954495244,0.0,0.08061970558905054,0.0,0.0,0.09671454934402787,0.0,0.0,0.023042288625356226,0.0,0.07519520473539062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03900063047796498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526297414432324,0.18752007811836627,0.0,0.0,0.029561685107245127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04978754841396429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03920126857821947,0.0,0.0,0.1696671335824139,0.0,0.09950146835091993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773385283782452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628848637663064,0.0,0.039805182801396236,0.0,0.08831840183501376,0.04471408524729786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333803888097442,0.046786905161957965,0.044532020832296036,0.0,0.035203039036090414,0.0,0.03242118957817965,0.032702229249109184,0.06803076529398783,0.08519098183353753,0.0,0.0,0.08642424507683058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965713645323728,0.06708548612647207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04210183630893447,0.0,0.0385095254874764,0.04607883090138083,0.0,0.0,0.0497201346994939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04220114846618748,0.0,0.0,0.04940607827093817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22603094752673406,0.09069160564060877,0.04354694260076706,0.0,0.29976440084258377,0.0,0.08390516609655596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21086895259429966,0.040150222576098835,0.0,0.19929786678646355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790614694582169,0.043619546355321184,0.0,0.0624334503726454,0.0,0.0704423164051391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824213389858115,0.0,0.08313416249999551,0.045840483469217035,0.0,0.07089753823797433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580266435373693,0.0,0.12999456473639573,0.07002659690150259,0.1285856960229566,0.050690551756222085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04857383797520114,0.036390054054919234,0.02601342105398482,0.07001470260553871,0.03537721375404339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959320202790596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531960817542862,0.0,0.2679532503013638,0.17040747125498756
mentalhealth,Comprehensive_Cup,2019/01/07,"its catching up to me again... (from england) hi everyone, 1st post on this subreddit so..nice to meet all of you!! anyway, this is gonna be a bit of a vent so sorry for the long read haha.
well i guess ill start where it began. as a child i was happy happy happy, n all that other kiddy stuff. however as i hit 11, my dad became abusive/emotinally abusive towards me, not sure why to this day. anyway that caused me to be depressed and anxious since 11. also (foreshadowing here), its the perfect set up for BPD.

anyway fstforward to 2016. ive finally realised how i feel isnt right. i had sever suicidal thoights at 13, plotted to kill my dad several times over (yeah oof, pretty messed up)..it all pointed in a bad direction. so i went to the GP, was eventually given CBT n fluoxetine (40mg dose). the fluoxetine helped for a bit but slowly got worse again. my anxiety came back worse than ever in april of last year. it was so bad it ended my relationship at the time, and that was very very important to me. anyway, that was a big hit and made my depression return badly. 
(im skimming over many other events and details here purely because my memory from meds/drug and alcohol abuse/depression is screwed si i cant remember much at all).

so we skip to july 2018...im put on sertraline, 100mg initially and eventuallly upped to 200mg. pretty much a rinse and repeat of fluoxetine, except by the end of sertraline (about november 2018), i was self harming nightly, doing drugs as much as i could to try and feel 'normal', i was binge drinking..u get the deal (im a uni student so can easily access the bad substances etc). like the SSRIs never, ever work..they always stop working for me.

right so after that i decuded to stop sertraline cold turkey. ngl, first few weeks was awful, but afterwards i felt so much better, to the point i was so happy and confident  and feeling like my actual self that my ex and i became good friends! (using that as a point to show i felt so much better). this feeling continued for 1.5 months or so, id managed to adopt a new mindset and a new way of living - it was amazing!!!

but disaster strikes: i had to go home for christmas holidays. whilst at home i really struggled to keep my new positive self (not sure why), and i crashed really bad. intense depression and anxiety returns. i start worrying about my ex/close friend outta no where and ruin that friendship. ruin another friendship with arguably my closest friend as i was freaking out over a bunch of things and baso cut her out my life (yeah, im a dick). 

now we cut to today. im back at uni again, still feel pretty bad, except its different again. here i feel emotionally dead, dont care about anythng (eg anxiety is like very low rn), yet i feel awful and i dont know why. i feel like theres so much going wrong..but its really really not. i remember my GP saying i have a very strong 'distress intolerance' - still not exactly sure what this is. i keep on relapsing for no apparent reason..even my own coping mechanisms from a couple months ago do nothing. i really dont undersrand whats going on, why i feel how i do, or if theres even a reason for all this?? i know this is a lot and ive skimmed over way too much stuff abiut my life for this to be useful to anyone but...can anyone please help? thank you",2.8726313090418363,4.8255076261538505,4.687522267206479,81.7662847503374,75.81538461538463,8.007557354925778,25.403508771929822,8.791512727339544,2.02934358974359,2567,91,494,56,57,872,314,650,0.206,0.636,0.158,-0.99,3,0,4,0,1,0,120.0,2,2,0,6,43,45,4,2,27,5,34,8,1,7,14,80,69,44,3,3,12,3,11,4,3,1,6,1,2,4,31,24,1,4,16,3,0,7,12,21,1,1,21,13,58,24,75,41,19,88,0,6,0,2,22,31,2,5,50,312,89,4,0.0,0.060669570783597214,0.049968709145803945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045390157097588084,0.05472258960090965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040948632747940465,0.04260667521099155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05369292386144345,0.11751509112110363,0.05784709308470583,0.0,0.0716074754433632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874699312283405,0.2565242968533977,0.031214102449695018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057335093618804,0.11180523084884553,0.0,0.06449092506079163,0.0,0.0,0.05856489706430285,0.05220692638699537,0.052601656441931516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04088303863860582,0.056657376203450974,0.0,0.033022999196494845,0.05279012303018955,0.17641122079322955,0.0,0.0,0.053498343225972564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18003569198243458,0.0,0.11876312394921736,0.0,0.0,0.057598750926597685,0.09070489133909708,0.0,0.0571071282085936,0.0676408602056929,0.09263573692175793,0.0,0.048928587074119664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330171513839443,0.07316174723860942,0.09832969064380434,0.05609259208166583,0.0,0.0435549604010919,0.0,0.0,0.11868260488882612,0.0,0.026752507419937385,0.0,0.0873029717375198,0.0429483379655594,0.04095332891503036,0.0,0.056408097963258026,0.0,0.0,0.2180347664892456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864328565932122,0.0,0.10272561198071954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765510202042081,0.0,0.0,0.09102674179297687,0.05665076348414165,0.0,0.056281875268342184,0.04173892223413447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233523414233166,0.10006473729352608,0.0,0.04521496719504642,0.0453148277796655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04353267344411186,0.0,0.04845142416861016,0.0,0.05191384921885362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174271039908866,0.0,0.26349104908758914,0.0,0.039492464982594414,0.14836237042262745,0.0,0.048052438737468166,0.05017004376761757,0.049132593802048916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562077309252265,0.14521587296341432,0.0,0.04904025089747111,0.15628172924174308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05147518394073793,0.0,0.0,0.051218872745255,0.0,0.1640162219550074,0.10529456914086864,0.0,0.05497502417808088,0.1160106024790948,0.0874576076678622,0.0,0.04072028389492022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16025399707561858,0.11569418616941166,0.0,0.04235731832420776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573198231292484,0.0724863476672412,0.0,0.08178478374896786,0.08561937227057859,0.0,0.053530600462157636,0.1172349851188144,0.05600997652877256,0.0,0.14478036461300256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471426990673704,0.0,0.0,0.03401833732054325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059716113149741935,0.0,0.048536367866451866,0.0,0.0,0.034764844638234316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844938645148323,0.0,0.16899800309676902,0.0,0.0812883165128927,0.041073575148706624,0.0,0.046039458805916623,0.04746756277816085,0.1848182498230652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455572290729841,0.05200117923843578,0.1043645716210036,0.0,0.05598464663312151,0.0,0.032974351443438285
mentalhealth,derkavfefe,2019/01/07,"Inconsistency with logical thinking/comprehension... Over the past couple of years I have noticed that my logical thinking and overall comprehension is becoming more and more inconsistent. It takes me longer to understand things, and providing logical arguments can sometimes be impossible especially because I couldn't fully understand what I've read, to begin with.

I have had some increased stress because of my lack of job security (i.e. had two mediocre performance reviews, in the dark about whether the project is going to be given more funding, etc.), life situation (i.e. having to stay with my brother and parents because I might need them to fall back on if the company goes under), etc. I've also been consuming thc edibles pretty much daily for the past couple of years. Not a whole lot (5 - 10 mg), but im wondering if this goes deeper because I've found that when I begin to lose arguments ESPECIALLY because I couldn't understand it initially I have very strong urges to self harm (rip out my hair, cut myself, punch myself, etc.) I've only ever gone so far as hitting myself out of pure rage or smashing a keyboard, but I'd never cut myself or rip my hair out. This seems to be triggered when people make a comment about something I am insecure about (job, intelligence, etc)

Thing is that it seems that my comprehension and logical thinking is getting worse as time goes on. I have brain fog every day, stress headaches, etc. The only time this went away was when I was home for a week for Christmas--i actually felt normal again. I could think three steps ahead, got a decent chess rating from elometer.com despite not really playing much chess at all, worked on my own programming project... I was happy.

I'm well into my 20s for reference.

Let me know what you think.",7.438993808049536,8.325889269349851,7.476921052631582,70.22169736842109,63.42724458204334,10.670526315789473,35.96424148606811,10.577609850970193,4.063050897832817,1426,64,234,34,20,459,186,323,0.115,0.8140000000000001,0.071,-0.9434,3,0,1,0,0,2,55.0,0,1,1,6,12,13,3,3,11,0,25,4,3,2,4,54,51,19,0,8,9,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,14,12,0,1,18,4,1,6,5,8,1,2,12,3,28,5,39,30,17,38,0,1,0,0,6,13,0,10,18,159,42,9,0.0,0.0,0.08615147612380669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705998857443561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829447875829348,0.06788418005804236,0.0,0.2690824966154617,0.09750164096498057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855302848692278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070486794382966,0.19536692769014727,0.0,0.05693523357811649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4922944254979776,0.0,0.07985703067032536,0.07438223779077957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476552767295539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679775622976987,0.0,0.0,0.046124225413060056,0.0,0.05017326518772596,0.0,0.07060798244594868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09397889849699756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885550503419754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953607928698631,0.0,0.1752145167233305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048518029745729545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902753521042815,0.06235689598203638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987660986366858,0.0,0.07505505227046297,0.0,0.0,0.05892959014896775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365431512279956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979633061430704,0.06546072822539167,0.0680892945241104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649859885642443,0.0,0.1005107842520791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428640420019367,0.0,0.0,0.0980278274382934,0.0,0.16855223192370966,0.06120431853572472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981555254289815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830689381079737,0.0,0.05655635245026281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073906082806788,0.09209842612050008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923379448305024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796456896245126,0.08731414753195564,0.0,0.0,0.09409793495864703,0.0,0.0,0.20225576372275225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637783143330776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730260899439254,0.2262727348958984,0.0,0.0,0.10295705821046902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623966608121204,0.2757171593217256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284272336453237,0.0,0.0,0.0708152999994062,0.0,0.07937702221799295,0.08183922841403682,0.0,0.09856482027859242,0.0,0.0,0.09573915104396732,0.06427107775787556,0.0,0.0899679224646653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370271914722599
mentalhealth,fancytrees,2019/01/07,"Is this something to see a therapist over? For the past few months I've been feeling off. About half of the time I feel fine. I am happy, confident, go-getting self. The other times I feel exhausted, tried, and empty. I feel scared, like there's a tightness in my chest. My mood will range from just being unhappy to not being able to focus on anything and just feeling hopeless and overwhelmed by everything.

​

I almost want to say I feel depressed, but I feel like my symptoms don't last long enough to meet the criteria. I always see mental health episodes being talked about as lasting days, not hours. I will feel that way for a few hours, but something will pull me out of it, like going to eat, napping, or showering, but the downs pretty much always return. They're miserable, but since these moods only last a few hours, I don't know if they're significant enough to talk to someone about. I would say that I feel these downs about 4 out of 7 days. ",5.590483870967741,6.347148962365594,5.363602150537634,84.21540322580647,67.44086021505376,8.135483870967743,28.940860215053764,8.07648339933343,1.8118150537634403,761,25,147,9,12,235,113,186,0.085,0.777,0.138,0.7753,1,0,2,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,0,0,7,13,0,3,9,0,12,5,1,0,0,29,26,10,0,3,10,0,10,3,0,4,3,3,1,1,7,5,1,1,10,1,0,2,4,6,0,1,1,15,16,5,28,18,6,25,0,4,2,0,6,8,0,3,17,93,23,0,0.10842508128118576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085720569325658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18043670675622586,0.11747853026864427,0.13174834147318393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922460347876568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985041528637862,0.0,0.09338636363065736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109459265018691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240641856292649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744547176592976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4934068101444961,0.07745889973163472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05664762988922105,0.0,0.12324094469815305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542051518001628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525079121652147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203305934776479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05958758911129785,0.26514273764097473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891305385475904,0.0,0.0,0.0959527849955192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926698008015594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654386544302832,0.0,0.07970491029141855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246216013562571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350400863656477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030728718330654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244795299780902,0.10855242127082801,0.0,0.17280150387701804,0.0,0.11311100640785222,0.0,0.0,0.0896903476696712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186821951686093,0.1669418494809127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269517467330213,0.0,0.17429594652946845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588987622986633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644707365293184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361351298066765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395192213663288,0.08606278274888858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702206687459777,0.0,0.13174834147318393,0.0
mentalhealth,wilsdl,2019/01/07,"The hidden struggle (HELP ME!!) Sorry this is going to be extremely long but i have been struggling lately and i have no idea what to do.

This school year has been the worst. I have been struggling with depression suecidal though self harm and a bunch of other stuff. So this year started amazing i had an amazing summer and was in a relationship and was pretty much the happinest i had been ever i practically felt bliss and euphoria on every day for up to two months and this continued a few weeks school started when suddenly i got a lot of work and pressure from school making me stress out i couldn't work because my thought would be racing and i could bearly comprihend them giving me a massive headache this happened almost daily and is where my self harm tendencies started with me using pins to self harm and banging my head against the wall and while this was all happening my girlfriend broke up with me which made me even more depresed and made everything even worse and my turrets had come back something that i hadn't have to deal with since 3rd grad (im in 10th grade) and and after a while this became to much and i started cutting but luckily this only lasted for a week then i went back to normal excluding my turrets but some weeks later i found out my grandpa died which is when shit really hit the fan i started cutting every single day and planning to kill my self and no matter where i went i could stop thinking of ways to comit suecide and when i looked at a building i just thought if it was tall enough to jump off of to kill myself this drove me to make a plan and try to execute it and on that Saturday i went out to a parking lot that i thought i could jump off of to kill myself but for some reason when i got there i didn't feel depressed anymore i fealt Normal almost happy so i went home and i was extremely angry at myself so i cut die into my leg and cried myself to sleap and after that day all of my tics stoped and i was fine for about a week and for the next few weeks i was for the most part normal other tan that i would become depressed and unbearably sad some days and cut myself but this only happend like every other week. But now after the Christmas break im back in to the depssive suecidal loop where everything feels meaningless and i want to die. I have had strong urges to cut myself again (especially today) and im afraid im going to try to kill myself again and the worst part is that no one knows about my self harm depression or anything i wrote about in this post except for the turrets bit and i have no one to turn to because i am afraid that if i tell someone everything will change as my parents and probably the school would probably find out about the suecide and self harm stuff out of no where. And i know some people will tell me to seek professional help and i already am in contact with a psychologist because of my turrets and also because they think i have adhd and i am still waiting for the diagnosis but im afraid to tell them about the depresive episodes self harm and suecide because as i said no one knows anything about this and think im fine and happy as im still very social and seem happy but on the inside im hurting. So what should i do please help i just want to fix this before it gets worse than it already is.

(Btw im form Norways) ",4.731030789825971,5.64259637349398,5.1279196787148615,84.57919544846051,69.45180722891567,7.829933065595718,28.159170013386888,7.946510646118237,1.6825656358768408,2648,89,524,32,45,842,264,664,0.227,0.667,0.105,-0.9987,1,0,1,0,0,6,18.0,0,0,3,5,34,42,10,8,29,0,47,3,3,6,3,119,93,69,7,15,14,2,3,1,1,6,0,1,1,7,33,54,0,2,17,0,0,10,9,33,0,4,33,5,74,9,83,47,23,87,0,7,1,0,26,26,1,13,49,382,107,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05560629865597859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266336006776273,0.0,0.10211789611055844,0.03700127070034842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04588637560961133,0.0,0.0,0.07615082363403494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673392298512116,0.0,0.14102564321487193,0.05110043129725366,0.039371477201650136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050513720907582084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048946424773559684,0.03985661221924961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108259991754627,0.0,0.050824280081055016,0.1193586061960372,0.04770126623197166,0.15940555024947747,0.0,0.14405962706817182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047808204288121374,0.0,0.061120423587308875,0.04185292338656439,0.11695078342308825,0.0,0.12475067377825858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467899529379961,0.0,0.04442545766776443,0.0,0.042288991326962726,0.0,0.0,0.050731526597836966,0.0,0.0,0.024173621987610062,0.044385402631107886,0.05259143262224971,0.0,0.07401102833362168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183097727673867,0.14776250528221113,0.0,0.0,0.04748530168985863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303932600422303,0.0,0.04641153955193696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953187877776788,0.052232024110860274,0.4498057506153628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475899627330696,0.0,0.07628463135067368,0.03771537794271477,0.05219340236196048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022604676784618832,0.0,0.0,0.04094657371678431,0.038854273374765706,0.0,0.0,0.07867243061962632,0.0,0.0875616176254538,0.061769780343783415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036931442545038204,0.0,0.06802601894232993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04920756400936314,0.0,0.13600127129426412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405913450485764,0.0703792582778363,0.0,0.0,0.05137620466335244,0.10020954988952496,0.0,0.032077071149534286,0.0,0.0,0.050789423916022064,0.0,0.0,0.04431287388372198,0.047072166444785096,0.09977152938614446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029641080644436883,0.04757219709922778,0.0,0.04967554750588539,0.0,0.0,0.04401237656996025,0.0,0.0,0.1873066313383634,0.0,0.04212152356276703,0.3378803141141287,0.0,0.047494422671779925,0.038274161950710484,0.0,0.0,0.04716537806614035,0.0392035397706542,0.03562010600581168,0.0,0.05179431277123863,0.16374704062921727,0.0,0.07390090265754279,0.038682922456512565,0.05300093750370927,0.14511108959202884,0.105933779196834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132333162472828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889418441799031,0.045459018408491605,0.11019715815334946,0.0,0.0,0.043857564116804484,0.0,0.0,0.06282717350945309,0.05032734215630008,0.04519805090525484,0.0,0.0,0.039961525840391664,0.0,0.03817673778568576,0.054581262945519966,0.0367261469092692,0.22268501349923614,0.0,0.0,0.1715671583617258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736870807223387,0.0,0.09430404648294094,0.09860442526750267,0.0,0.0,0.05959138667400076
mentalhealth,FormalKaleidoscope1,2019/01/07,"Advice please. Hello r/mentalhealth  


I have been misdiagnosed as psychotic intentionally but I am now looking to join the British Army. I intentionally got diagnosed with psychosis, since quite frankly, I'm a psychopath and I knew that with this disorder I could easily manipulate people's emotions and use it as an escape goat. However, the British Army does not allow anybody with psychosis to be enrolled. How would I go about disproving this story I made up to psychiatrists without actually letting them know I'm a psychopath. I'm sure they'd ask my questions about why I created this narrative. In case you don't want to help because you don't think a psychopath should be in the army, I'd like to let you know that psychopaths are desired by them, since acting without empathy in a lot of situations is extremely beneficial. All help appreciated.",6.340098039215686,8.587752111111115,6.966813725490197,67.8231617647059,67.10457516339869,10.328758169934641,37.58660130718954,10.504223727775694,4.656538562091503,695,38,110,20,12,228,103,153,0.083,0.731,0.18600000000000005,0.9468,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,3,1,4,2,0,0,8,0,15,1,0,7,2,29,29,6,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,4,1,15,2,20,17,2,7,0,0,1,0,11,4,0,2,2,71,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.16643448953182807,0.0,0.0,0.16666178092319064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944342284622726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396712855339844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617217219824354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731070434913454,0.0,0.0,0.1954677671883514,0.0,0.14925150938586007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184843619167616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692882995601576,0.0,0.13640629324070702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286352880391738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746222066389226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34880266295588674,0.0,0.0833232624790699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432210179197097,0.0,0.0,0.14499750756989374,0.0,0.1613807558058536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823952381266112,0.0,0.0,0.18721526259535126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105766290693352,0.18140341618928205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28216533001307903,0.19170798542509096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074356992950584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928305823004593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730246923631185,0.0,0.0,0.1005961939244198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538969666782495,0.0,0.0,0.32881275529747084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115549489228553,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IronHeart33,2019/01/07,"Help I am not looking for sympathy or attention with this and I may be the wrong place to post it but I need someone’s help. 

I honestly and truthfully feel like ending my life. I’ve been struggling with this feeling for several months. The only person that’s ever actually cared told me today that she doesn’t want anything to do with me and that if I kill myself I kill myself. Like it doesn’t even matter. Over the past few months I’ve been noticing that I don’t enjoy anything, not just my hobbies and interests, anything. Even food. Everything tastes the same. I hate playing guitar, riding my Harley, driving in general, I hate talking to anyone about anything, I hate the sound of someone else’s voice. I hate just about everything. But these are all things I used to love doing - I don’t want to do anything. And I don’t enjoy ANYTHING. Everything is so bland and lackluster. I can literally lay my head down and go to sleep and sleep for days and days and never get up. I have ruined every good thing I’ve ever had because of these feelings. They will wax and wane but have been present constantly since before Halloween and I feel like I’m drowning. 

The truth is I don’t even honestly want help I just want this to be over. I’m reaching out asking for help because it’s the thing you’re supposed to do, right? In reality I’m debating on not even posting this because it will mean I’ll have to talk to those who try to help and I know that they mean well. 

I just want nothing. And that’s so much worse than wanting anything. ",2.6222928208027128,4.847548613114757,3.6002487280949715,87.98295081967213,77.62295081967213,6.436404748445449,25.599208592425104,7.503015589744147,1.3450237422272475,1217,46,240,17,29,390,150,305,0.138,0.632,0.23,0.9717,1,0,0,0,0,2,29.0,0,0,2,0,15,24,6,1,7,0,27,7,3,1,6,56,56,21,3,8,12,0,4,3,0,3,1,2,0,1,21,18,2,0,8,2,0,3,10,9,1,0,5,8,32,15,31,46,4,27,0,1,1,1,15,10,0,3,15,158,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.07636421924382257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471673220832859,0.0,0.4507722798920354,0.0,0.07315654665967762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310799320505238,0.0,0.06658804459722599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978475411541427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845643347014427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093418836862117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537083626241974,0.0,0.06930945712940803,0.0,0.0,0.20674304247149194,0.14156971122597484,0.06593202775003427,0.0,0.2109878526156116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582694729476295,0.11180876596367824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946245561324122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04088427291521581,0.0,0.044473320659855695,0.06563540168688102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.309036891586149,0.08031076330822844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622586717424203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731520144100504,0.0,0.04300612859443929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527282747069034,0.11469225943422247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571331004474662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706269235470606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704822087533712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492254383210305,0.0,0.05752539535033949,0.058024048187872365,0.06035399564975704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508643367531155,0.08909223509953683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059515384258021074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747019097743642,0.0,0.06832801964527532,0.08175834999797071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989062296483302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682814145749927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840428689179451,0.0,0.0647321813667825,0.0,0.15662021503792045,0.0,0.13260803201501584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180764682189005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579454886042074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15596463149825568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417525688401336,0.07477466227346591,0.0,0.053129053427918835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758597985045052,0.0,0.0,0.2769359823032147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035937862359581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974709738147387,0.0,0.08555802026634164,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Angel_Ghost,2019/01/07,"How do you acquire prescription medications with Kaiser? I currently have Kaiser Permanente, and I would like to know the fastest possible way to get prescription medications, do I see psychiatry or my primary care physician? I'm not sure how to do all this, and I've been going through hell with depression for a long time.",9.594080459770113,9.330902431034485,9.039655172413793,64.6875287356322,59.17241379310346,14.629885057471268,43.471264367816104,13.5591,6.28736091954023,263,14,45,10,3,84,44,58,0.168,0.742,0.09,-0.7115,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,1,0,2,0,6,3,0,2,2,12,12,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,5,3,7,10,1,6,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,5,28,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29396298304832064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483308839288971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063608278510135,0.0,0.16385975180576395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845395515906718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085932034527301,0.0,0.0,0.25515545296973435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5809071529783645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250391681335676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22975490496524315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717395999206175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16812258422784618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288561850201009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20481531998233196,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PageMaster2019,2019/01/07,"I can see when I'm mentally ill Whenever I'm ill I do not recognise myself, around my eyes become dark and droopy and my eye colour becomes pale and I will have a vague dreamy stare, have confirmed this with photos, ",4.576666666666668,5.654371162790699,4.54418604651163,88.01224806201557,69.93023255813954,7.593798449612403,25.96124031007752,7.793537801064563,1.2680449612403095,172,5,35,2,3,53,33,43,0.211,0.789,0.0,-0.7783,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,2,0,0,6,8,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,7,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32898561171320684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8162971427601812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724282685248055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944904528348362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,desertrosexxx,2019/01/07,"My sister is 30, divorced and a virgin with depression. Hi,

So I’m writing this post in hopes that I could get some clue to my sisters mental health problems. So my sister comes into my room asking if anyone has ever told me about masturbation..because when she discovered it it was scary. From all of our knowledge, she doesn’t masturbate and has never had sex, even after being married. I’m wondering wether her masturbating would relieve her depression. She’s severely depressed and is obsessed with a guy who is 6 years younger than her and has no interests in her. She sends him disturbing emails and he knows not to reply because she’s crazy.  So I was thinking maybe most of her problems would be solve if she just masturbated? Is that wrong to think? And how do you convince such a person to start?

Thanks in advance",4.55663523573201,6.71653257419355,4.894838709677419,81.20533498759308,71.64516129032258,7.607940446650125,29.342431761786603,8.384062270229773,2.3038287841191063,659,27,116,11,13,208,108,155,0.204,0.716,0.08,-0.9703,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,1,1,0,1,10,13,0,2,3,0,17,3,0,1,3,32,30,13,0,8,4,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,6,10,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,8,0,0,4,0,21,5,16,21,3,15,0,3,0,2,28,5,0,6,6,86,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030893455202404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085365168776586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20977337270831475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821517171207846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737657386763152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445872281890872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364455698435813,0.15563887347645958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989468332348786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036727533437165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828926187989024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089522965096113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456013364805388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285823258480212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339684981045445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270392107726278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023688206149086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647867153284907,0.0,0.0,0.3292779583605073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19437976532093326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178554268835975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841049727239614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22049926764132546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16441149875976682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18659263299671813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444541571872524,0.1881215095490892,0.0,0.11080153475992263
mentalhealth,Monarch_of_Gold,2019/01/07,"Impoverished college student in need of free/sliding scale counseling. Hey, guys.

I live in the state of Georgia in the US. Up until recently, I was a college student. Because of my mental health, I didn't do well enough last term to continue receiving financial aid, so I'm having to drop my classes this term.

I need to be able to prove to the school that I have mental health problems and that they're being worked on. I can't do that without a counselor, and am having a hard time finding one that won't take 1/6-1/3 of my paycheck if not more. I believe the problem to be ADHD. I am (obviously?) uninsured, since my state only provides Medicaid if you're pregnant, old, or disabled (or already have children). I am none of those things and barely have pennies to my name right now. I am fortunate to live in a city with bus service. The places I've called have either not answered, don't have services for ADHD, have a two-month waiting list, or want me to be on the other side of town (an hour-long ordeal on buses) at 8 in the morning (most buses don't start until after 6AM) to MAYBE secure a spot. I'm BEGGING you guys. PLEASE HELP ME.

Thank you.",3.8573465193937833,5.162697493449784,4.864402774210124,84.1798201900848,71.88209606986901,6.9602876958643725,29.62779347546879,7.285733465282438,1.748723400976112,902,37,174,9,17,295,138,229,0.051,0.8759999999999999,0.073,0.6796,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,1,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,14,0,24,2,0,0,2,25,33,11,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,8,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,9,2,1,1,2,1,20,3,32,26,7,30,0,0,0,0,11,14,0,6,12,117,28,9,0.13491203492915566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242760972062289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887878534459287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224112428457761,0.0,0.0,0.15199966394962214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776027173244598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940019634199532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233071557876576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671682508395604,0.0,0.0,0.1208546838722652,0.0,0.0,0.2868103687170439,0.0,0.0,0.09042869318936894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286117844528847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997131493669816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23825959709100936,0.11939290547814913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553727249631672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719191991186513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768549914456003,0.0,0.0,0.20007112887156292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156748601112631,0.0,0.09141988641890304,0.1026066819327497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409543619380665,0.14809290102848413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581851943178018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320935858337474,0.0,0.0,0.11521414068266375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365381819580972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160062943589856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549143271128932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143706025681584,0.0,0.0,0.12420887575923015,0.0,0.0,0.08962956125495826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866829250103602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178945464039324,0.0,0.16228256673904515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957461365151121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213021216853562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005038732451252,0.0,0.09821756822300633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fudgymations,2019/01/07,Just found a celender date of when I was going to propose to my ex and its just heart breaking It's been almost a year since the breakup and I'm still not feeling the same everything is numb I don't get sad much anymore but seeing that calender date was just too much. She was my everything and nobody seems to understand why it hurts so much. I'm stuck at work and the verg of tears and all I want to do is go home and drink. I've been trying to date other people and nothing comes from it I can't fall in love anymore I got a new car a few weeks ago and it doesn't bring the joy I'd hope it would. I don't know what's wrong with me it feels like my ex was the only thing that kept me happy and made me feel complete and I'm trying so hard to fill that hole she left me with but nothing works. I don't love her anymore but I don't understand why I still feel this way. I should be happy and not getting upset over the year we met and when I was gonna propose. It just hurts that I can't seem to be happy without her she stopped me from ending my life she gave me these reasons to live she was my first for alot of things and I don't know why I can't just forget about her and live my life find someone new and love them like I loved her nobody makes me feel the way she made me feel. ,1.1825526315789503,2.5243712245614063,2.5801973684210537,97.71450657894741,78.85964912280701,5.592105263157895,19.594298245614034,5.985473137389443,-0.33788596491228073,1009,22,249,6,24,327,136,285,0.119,0.736,0.145,0.8266,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,1,3,13,17,0,1,12,0,24,9,1,4,1,59,62,22,0,4,11,2,7,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,18,19,1,2,15,1,0,7,12,6,0,1,16,8,41,11,21,41,7,31,0,3,1,4,20,5,0,5,18,155,59,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908232563174519,0.0,0.08933436641754691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654272598760413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684947313701462,0.09353858727138102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873952005504368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901662179587061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035856234859985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706539541000463,0.06373409444774303,0.0,0.0,0.08153946163550907,0.07588490063851189,0.0,0.0978179246402999,0.0,0.0,0.09322067331472568,0.0,0.10140409993473314,0.0,0.07135213226954203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849080754249077,0.07991771277284238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571834779500444,0.0,0.0,0.0894883474396616,0.08860906888680697,0.0,0.0,0.1910096506255244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980587394215653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969306561215782,0.0,0.12602817233686936,0.08717035415726906,0.0,0.15755419182443595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220744260688237,0.16883181502041736,0.059550659362315586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967464151206172,0.0,0.0,0.1723257792658206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120539035950438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678508360002232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184936150769148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172626772528787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109155569577487,0.1624331177833326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737982737843505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559025237538106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249192586516554,0.07458642480273882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185388816191916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114012993200088,0.0,0.0,0.18574866032053436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052620394295456764,0.14162694133681555,0.07156163477880043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415037413911075,0.0,0.0,0.08599856594041734,0.0,0.12989688367874008,0.0,0.0,0.06337466323112713,0.09754088415908926,0.0,0.11490105190599395
mentalhealth,99881,2019/01/07,"Lost self value /self identification I'm lost, I can't do anything and I can't think for myself... I think it's been this way my whole life, I've had encounters since I was a kid and I remember all I have done was running away from them and from my problems in many ways, and now that I'm 21 year old it's affecting me in my life and daily encounters, and all I ever do is put on persona (masks) and never act accroding to who I am... The person I'm meant to be... I don't even know who the I am, I've searched numerous times for a solution but I can't seem to put my hands on the main problem in here and I was hoping that someone shares their thoughts with me/experiences... To make me feel less alone in this, or to help each other... I want to find my individuality... Or build it, I don't want to be pretending anymore... ",2.3644263736263724,3.3031439657142885,4.426857142857145,87.30068131868134,75.05714285714284,7.898901098901099,24.89010989010989,8.384062270229773,1.2901692307692303,634,20,149,11,13,219,99,175,0.067,0.823,0.111,0.7302,0,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,2,4,6,0,0,5,0,19,3,1,2,4,34,35,11,0,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,10,10,0,0,10,1,0,4,6,4,0,0,10,2,24,2,19,23,6,19,0,2,0,0,10,7,0,4,6,99,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586305578116486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924640930934646,0.0,0.0,0.12384108400738975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139103562714478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400431064791714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939773663406797,0.13612752045806684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720885347186724,0.0,0.0,0.07609265686138132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754584067740758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087079331803143,0.0,0.0,0.14947129435510764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270579348314236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21259216783402146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285569132127302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045375994139026,0.15257402394424407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606776204302882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791475159413704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314027387860466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879986921769262,0.0,0.3025695865471001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047671003755374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370011482245995,0.31398939531401565,0.0,0.0,0.1244875230300704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12751034408916698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285682231163934,0.0,0.11947286423610162,0.08775238028638623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752671467218412,0.2389051425899884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16801757436124698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691112414854317
mentalhealth,lefttoe24,2019/01/07,I’ve stopped caring Wish i could sleep permanently. My future prospects are looking better than ever but I just couldn’t care less right now. I’m in a very weird state of mind.,2.0541428571428604,4.673188057142858,2.31964285714286,94.01660714285715,82.71428571428572,4.642857142857143,20.17857142857143,5.985473137389443,-0.08628571428571474,142,4,29,1,4,43,31,35,0.104,0.583,0.313,0.7821,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,8,8,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,3,6,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496171348344333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5755221927215769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22534458232607635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553010018363657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23700936793786986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28498056194025606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410302502874862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824424621675129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359641348321306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23287643048271875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32456049882139776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OHNONOTHERAGEN,2019/01/07,"I’m sorry for how long this is. I’m just suffering so horribly from feelings of anxiety and depression and a bad relapse in my eating disorder. This is long but I’m really hoping I can have support on this. I’m sorry for how long it is. 

I have horrible anxiety revolving around admitting when I’m not doing well and it’s because of huge fears of abandonment. I’ve always been tossed aside and labeled as the “bad kid” or the “troubled kid” in the family and I’m the scapegoat for so many familial issues. And when I was in high school, my depression and PTSD had gotten really bad and up to a point where I was in and out of hospitals. So at some point my mom decided that I should live in a group home (a therapeutic based one) instead of at home. I didn’t want to go there at all and I had arrived there three days before my sixteenth birthday. I’m a twin and it was the first birthday we ever spent apart, and even though we don’t get along — and fought even worse then — it was just horrible. My mom came for about thirty minutes and gave me a cake and some presents and I just stood there crying, begging to go home. After over a year, I was deemed able to go home but less than six months later I was back at the group home. Throughout the two years I was there, I was told it was because my mom just couldn’t handle me. And that I was too much. And that I had traumatized my mom with my depression (whenever I would admit that I had self harmed or felt suicidal). When I turned eighteen I was still living there and I had been under the false pretenses that i would be going home then, but my mom said no. By that point, even the people at the group home recognized that it wasn’t on me and that I didn’t need to be there. I just wasn’t wanted at home. My mom is a therapist and all of her coworkers and patients love her and say how amazing she is but it’s so hard to hear that because when it comes to me she acts like she has no idea what a mental illness is. She acts very ignorant. 

When I graduated high school, I was only allowed to be at home for two weeks before I would be going to a summer college program. When I got to the summer college program, shit went down and I was put into a horrible, horrible space mentally. I was retraumatized. I begged my mom to let me home every night on the phone. I would call her and sob. She never relented. She visited me about two or three times. I also begged my dad to take me to live with him but he was told to follow my mom’s instructions (even though they’ve been divorced for 13+ years) so he wouldn’t take me home, plus he thought I should stay at college. To be fair, I hadn’t told them what happened, but it was terrible. Finally, the following September, my mom let me come home. I entered two partial programs and then when those didn’t work I entered a residential program. 

There, we worked on a lot of family therapy and I talked to my mom about how abandoned I felt. She refused to acknowledge anything that I felt. When I was at the group home, I lived on her commute home from work but she would only visit me on the weekends, and I had actively begged her to visit me during the week. During the two years I was there, she only said yes twice. I talked to her about that in the family therapy, but she only scoffed at me. Then I talked to her about times in middle school where I would be stranded after school when I would join clubs because I had no ride home but meanwhile my mom was paying someone to drive my sister home (from a different location although same town). She scoffed again and said none of that was relevant. 

I also didn’t really go too into it but I feel a lot of abandonment from how she raised me. I felt very neglected as a child, I would often go weeks without bathing and days without washing my hair. And I was young enough for my mother to do something about that, but she never did. I also feel it towards when I was abused by my neighbor and she found out but didn’t go to the police. Instead, she yelled at the girl’s mom and the girl and that was that. The abuse happened two more times after that but she didn’t know. There were also other times I was put into an abuser’s hands under her watch, although no one knows about that not even her. 

But anyway, this all leads to how I’m feeling now. I’m doing horribly. I’m in a terrible depression, and not wanting to live. I am not suicidal, I just don’t want to live. My eating disorder has also incredibly spiraled into a bad relapse. I confessed all of this to my therapist and dietitian on Friday and we determined that I should either take a leave of absence from school or go part time. And then consider treatment. I am terrified of going into treatment for a lot of reasons but a big one is my fear of not being allowed home, especially now that I’m almost twenty and my mom is not obligated to let me live here. 

I talked to my parents this weekend about what was going on to update them and they were not the most understanding — a lot because I don’t update them, and that was hard. I can’t bring myself to tell them when I feel bad because I don’t want to be kicked out. I know my mom loves me and all that but she has destroyed my trust on so many different occasions and not just in the abandonment issue. And my dad is hard to get along with at times. I’m just terrified that I’m never going to get passed this feeling in my life. And I’m tired of all of it. I’m tired of feeling so low. I’m tired of my eating disorder and the self hating thoughts I have. I’m tired of my paranoia related to my PTSD and the horrible nightmares I have. I hate that everyone who has ever hurt me has gotten away with it. I hate that I can’t control my life and I’m losing myself. I just feel like I’m a burden to everyone in my life, which is not a lot of people. ",3.2760907374185635,4.482972204201686,4.558052119724295,86.19844160135965,73.17647058823529,7.9029364554810675,25.891794920215286,8.408161586679498,1.587881219903692,4553,149,958,76,89,1506,371,1190,0.205,0.741,0.054000000000000006,-0.9997,5,0,1,0,4,0,104.0,4,0,5,7,80,42,6,2,51,1,103,17,3,11,11,197,198,109,2,20,41,19,17,2,1,12,9,6,19,7,51,71,3,8,26,4,2,32,36,33,1,14,70,24,160,9,142,104,22,155,1,14,1,2,98,62,2,15,62,705,211,19,0.02877029657149664,0.10226429065053948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02880929615562447,0.0,0.0,0.11503797886902002,0.02393919148789047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044018396258860566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0236755026902038,0.025611663605717108,0.0,0.0,0.0270306406891708,0.02212258217905718,0.12010997950554535,0.1052286345224763,0.0,0.04896280669974809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029377689511493024,0.032905554783332576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956612600037638,0.0,0.0,0.03226833399290612,0.0,0.0,0.03160281983473885,0.03710892236272879,0.0,0.09911925711800608,0.0,0.0,0.060117672943466476,0.09891975723761186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831758771516234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029727407143403373,0.0,0.09501254773172133,0.05204876075896464,0.02424021571420226,0.054982502596076836,0.0,0.0,0.10848830046713268,0.064749164522998,0.11637701117789885,0.02055350561925427,0.11049598597450773,0.03151645361308813,0.0,0.024471999566402225,0.0,0.03154514520335185,0.0,0.0,0.04509387752521988,0.0,0.19620987063991446,0.0,0.023010234384835442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088295648562187,0.0,0.07731760399771706,0.08521413459436898,0.0,0.0,0.03242621519754142,0.0,0.0,0.060794795853355836,0.49060220521275394,0.028575396121382712,0.0,0.0,0.030799197521214138,0.032478162896685106,0.0,0.0600574297258574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0474342077623142,0.0,0.0,0.030463589966330563,0.0,0.08825873247475516,0.06096393392160102,0.028111427322040836,0.0,0.17783289278229472,0.07638242135201885,0.0,0.032186602706650684,0.0,0.12229738654772465,0.0519326318462981,0.0,0.0,0.058337130093784086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057987384196195126,0.0,0.0,0.4717359307581591,0.02296417623872861,0.0,0.021149478332801192,0.021332810360660592,0.06656827904538584,0.0,0.0,0.02699897437901035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058486492613921165,0.08752442792735543,0.0,0.0,0.03194600960759725,0.031155427541996895,0.0,0.039891402249009035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159168892520233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726187418202642,0.05784418892717595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05529296606774435,0.029580656561626083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210142111334726,0.022879294588803743,0.0,0.14558538051591208,0.0,0.0,0.060027387785210724,0.0,0.029532295990370282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024376978921887883,0.02214877989025513,0.0,0.06441198310583487,0.0,0.030665308135450105,0.02297599600610435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294006968225639,0.03264819160589505,0.0,0.0,0.06489504754253797,0.09249789833881668,0.025146507305640862,0.0,0.06580268297143002,0.06680906357984424,0.0,0.0,0.056533340613442284,0.0456808036089121,0.10065714777261572,0.13226889450934826,0.0,0.08247375389411526,0.0,0.0,0.031293821071155116,0.16862639557653794,0.02995089336993201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04747701548137893,0.08484733165274816,0.0,0.06923338953635272,0.0,0.025867951791491917,0.026670353159044573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055467078448990834,0.0,0.06283535566988385,0.0,0.029319390121554625,0.1635007457940522,0.0,0.0,0.07410851088327351
mentalhealth,ThePatheticSaiyan,2019/01/07,Is it possible to intellectualize through a mental diagnosis? And I don't mean faking it I mean grasping the concepts in such a way that you essentially have access to it as a feature instead of it always being on.,3.5689024390243915,6.122735097560978,6.539207317073172,66.43612804878053,76.07317073170732,8.002439024390245,32.201219512195124,8.841846274778883,3.340507317073171,173,9,28,4,4,63,33,41,0.0,0.872,0.128,0.5903,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878644787506937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7536986032573803,0.0,0.0,0.3486439409241903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3900152690948244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746050794344614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cigarette-Stank,2019/01/07,"To everyone. With love. (Not a suicide note) There’s a lot of shit in this world to be upset about. There’s a lot of bad things that happen. That’s why it’s up to us to turn things around. Yeah, it’s a huge burden as a whole. So just do one little part. Pick up a can, if everyone did it the world wouldn’t have cans on the living space. There was a movement a while back about that.

Now pretend your mind is the earth. Pick up a new can and dispose of it properly. Everything that’s stressing you out is there. Each one a different can. You have one hand on the bag/bin of which to sort these, and another to pick one up. You keep going one by one.

None the less, as one does, the mind gets messy. There are cans all over the place again. That’s okay. You find yourself picking up cans not just one by one, but two at a time. It becomes more and more easy to do.

Sometimes you have you go back to one by one.

But one thing is for damned sure. If you don’t pick up the cans, all you’ll see are cans. Until it gets to that point you can’t see a way out. But never let that stop you. You can do this. Pick up each can one by one. It may not fix anything right away but it will get better. By doing this you end up helping many more people than yourself. Like a ripple in a pond.

I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety as far as I can remember.(Which isn’t long 25yrs old) I just wanted to put a little something out here because I’m having a particularly bad day and all I’ve been able to do is pick up those cans so I don’t start crying.

Whoever you are. Never be ashamed that your mind is rough. Always remember that you’re worth it. Don’t hesitate to reach out. Someone will answer. Find a therapist. Find a doctor. Do what needs to get done because you are absolutely worth it.

Unless you’re like... Ted Bundy. Then you can fuck right off.",0.13427274764679709,2.3468563067010315,1.658843567906768,98.1927678171224,87.73711340206184,4.920304796055581,16.939937247870912,6.391308007922933,-0.4368435230838186,1429,33,335,15,46,459,182,388,0.116,0.7879999999999999,0.096,-0.8806,1,0,1,0,0,1,57.0,1,17,0,1,18,17,3,4,26,2,50,5,2,7,6,57,67,21,1,5,13,0,2,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,29,14,0,2,5,1,2,4,12,11,0,15,5,4,21,6,56,54,14,55,0,1,2,2,20,33,3,6,19,243,50,1,0.07233024505452527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018455814048804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758445685299141,0.05533243949012511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05952162874358687,0.06438925300098906,0.0,0.0,0.06795664619479587,0.11123498753470376,0.12078546676834866,0.08818369208035187,0.07988307296397756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639702238957098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945137782574352,0.046647024328291424,0.0,0.06229793407891631,0.0,0.0,0.07556971137406895,0.0,0.07403307070821566,0.06329668487213506,0.07401895321548033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406312836417041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822929758830885,0.06500576037388278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832560082088785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686814603886745,0.15115827088086828,0.0,0.0822138902312762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639613968274141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848143860391828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429044517847413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396257609228557,0.0,0.07067380838368319,0.14498781476361786,0.06386893153466508,0.06400999077318081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298517558263412,0.06528087012301836,0.0,0.0,0.0733315158044202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21909878540992614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363196021472325,0.11157108800843354,0.06985700139194571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589842492787854,0.0,0.6861798435856201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832660686312537,0.0,0.05014468469362336,0.0,0.07556971137406895,0.0,0.06837546077782727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271187402753365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193606770817591,0.12353926814163985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527568136012124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424595713491934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128518191418233,0.05568335637902523,0.0715364618385026,0.0,0.0511957197313212,0.0,0.0,0.06047132359956332,0.08285405133157002,0.07561527671088575,0.0,0.0791175484158327,0.0,0.06817039997060065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398098936145439,0.14415900256278102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04217634755571634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867453646660025,0.07065613942260582,0.0,0.08700437901241545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042662252545188864,0.05741238182849905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526679591177051,0.08075413554141203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StaceyRaien,2019/01/07,"I walked out today It’ll be my fourth day on my new job. Woke up like normal, got ready like normal. But my brain was no functioning, it’s was just blank. I was just doing what my body was so used to doing. 

Got on the bus to work and I don’t remember how I got there to be completely honest. I signed in and called a couple of customers. 

Went to the washroom, saw my face in the mirror and that’s when it hit me. I started balling in the washroom and whispering to myself that I’m okay. 

I texted my mom and she said to just come home. I told her I’ll try to stay for the day. But it only had been an hour and I could no longer function. 

I got up, spoke to my supervisor and just started crying. She told me to go home instead. 

Round 2, I’m home now and I don’t know how I did it. 

I feel completely numb, but I’m crying so much",-0.4726373626373608,1.4304044285714284,1.8337252747252784,98.12377472527471,87.13186813186813,4.958681318681318,16.792307692307688,6.2581,-0.5386997802197802,634,14,157,6,20,214,98,182,0.066,0.88,0.053,-0.5023,1,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,12,5,0,0,7,1,15,4,3,3,0,27,37,16,0,3,7,1,2,2,0,1,1,3,3,0,8,10,0,0,3,1,0,4,4,1,0,0,18,6,26,4,19,14,1,22,0,0,2,0,9,8,0,0,11,100,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143601196812004,0.0,0.1443194976698402,0.13200957421207174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113634750971784,0.27109573323032804,0.0,0.0,0.10321974792542063,0.1430461209483955,0.28401653497308466,0.1667501128247744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536797119314698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347293674804843,0.0,0.4135888552397903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890358493603411,0.0,0.1273149898393076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829068485363818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104903612133215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263195851336238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141144860859093,0.0,0.0,0.0950358478132963,0.0,0.0,0.12485965644589313,0.0,0.0,0.25333436278440985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832344421882816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464493044465236,0.0,0.12297510824939566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830104313034543,0.13779552910241838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254254632775245,0.2470656092264404,0.0,0.0877727933078931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165661454844776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984407293955796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411755071480768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Skaterdreww,2019/01/07,"I need to have everything perfect? So something I have noticed is I must have all the same jean styles. If one style was different it would make me not want to wear them because they're a different style from the rest. I do this with a lot of things in life. It's like I have to have everything perfect or something. 

I feel like if everything isn't perfect it drives me crazy. What is wrong with me?",2.6723809523809514,4.5083577901234575,3.1994003527336865,92.73444444444445,76.03703703703705,7.097707231040566,26.386243386243386,7.957251820313856,1.3901132275132273,315,12,69,5,7,98,52,81,0.079,0.728,0.193,0.8942,2,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,3,1,6,0,0,4,0,12,2,1,1,5,18,16,4,0,6,4,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,1,10,5,8,13,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,2,50,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834033021316324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4399290382636357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5676465039277306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645294490114976,0.15040641989798526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487072686269733,0.2057137706849239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789895350629794,0.0,0.0,0.14053390975209035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610921524276802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23969576994319106,0.0,0.0,0.14266412957163466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241606322651866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398702606316317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241791412928796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955819630652745,0.23018723819919654,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helloimhere-,2019/01/07,"(UK) Final year of uni struggling with depression, anxiety, and maybe ADHD? I'm in my final year of uni and I'm afraid I'll either graduate with a 2:2 or below or won't graduate at all and these thought keep me up at night. My grades aren't great, my average last year was less than 50% with one failed module. I need to get at least 70% this year if I want to graduate with a 2:1 which seems to be what most employers ask for. I knew it would be hard work but I thought that just knowing it was my last chance to get a decent grade so I could earn enough to improve my quality of life would be enough for me to push myself but I'm still struggling and I don't know what to do. 

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for years. I think I may also have undiagnosed ADHD (I haven't discussed with a doctor yet). The doctors at my previous GP practice were mostly dismissive, I've recently joined a new practice but I'm hesitant to make a mental health appointment because of previous experiences. There's also the fact that I already waste so much time trying to force myself to get things done, I don't want to waste more time by trying to get a diagnosis/some help because I imagine it would take more than a single appointment. 

Although my university is aware of my mental health issues, I don't feel I'm getting the support I need - my project supervisor and lecturers aren't aware of my problems and I worry that they might not be understanding if I talk to them. Sometimes I skip lectures because I can't get out of bed and attendance is monitored so when I get emails asking me to explain my absences, I don't know how to tell them the real reason and find myself lying about having a flu or being called into work. 

The second half of the year has just started and I want something to change. For people that have had similar experiences, what has worked for you and what advice would you give me? I'm going to try to talk to the disability service at my university to see if there is anything they can do to support me but I'm not very optimistic.",5.230188573562359,5.722998206310681,6.141941747572818,79.25163928304707,68.1504854368932,9.348170276325616,30.651979088872288,9.367010060515213,2.6029963405526515,1639,61,321,31,26,543,202,412,0.123,0.825,0.052000000000000005,-0.9822,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,4,5,15,10,0,3,16,0,38,6,0,3,2,69,79,29,0,14,15,0,2,0,0,7,6,0,1,0,15,19,0,1,14,0,0,3,11,7,0,3,9,3,47,3,54,57,12,32,0,3,1,0,18,10,0,11,19,222,62,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194733373525436,0.07916887210343111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940427113283056,0.12957852693603125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395556235832213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667008568013072,0.0,0.15147991196450478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816162873955574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827274124838723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570524067006444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468547992882419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352496676910254,0.1395596421135903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584865943580948,0.0,0.08290851673579856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674244308332169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850033859938698,0.0,0.0,0.04096462812191117,0.0,0.0,0.17750032091929904,0.07404806778307252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962962606421285,0.07771888615635364,0.046043826601490784,0.0,0.0,0.0893215255353987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257531621835568,0.0,0.0,0.17223455920287697,0.0,0.0,0.054303985523371415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456069630166903,0.0,0.07201162970400801,0.0,0.0,0.13357446881122115,0.1320793319837701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057224701148341016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407947480324171,0.0,0.08139246320970296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329215574909972,0.08594623112251555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595568149487003,0.12014615386660492,0.0,0.07824672083859664,0.0,0.07602896372160534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054899214105020425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05616698493465226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752232482903464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221507980228684,0.0,0.08329896658346964,0.0799945108677032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456005753994758,0.07375483155384291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237084265182945,0.08012788192628617,0.0,0.05734424767922534,0.0,0.0647002786955453,0.0,0.0,0.1693931125023092,0.0,0.0,0.18387425687624212,0.0,0.0,0.0609146992778512,0.13023678711651138,0.07081242660654476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05382409305266385,0.051912420545137936,0.0,0.1286368923352807,0.09448332529097826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501566920847768,0.0,0.0,0.08434155140435744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668475075566216,0.1433577722519013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769440168206449,0.08227669341404256,0.0,0.23020860155516515,0.0,0.0,0.3130337400771921
mentalhealth,glenwoodwaterboy,2019/01/07,"New to forum Hello all,  

New here. I see a lot of people posting about their problems, and few responses, if any in most cases.

What is the deal with this form? I need advice for a family member who is suffering. Am I in the right place? ",0.3306250000000013,2.672724145833336,2.7716666666666683,89.44000000000004,88.79166666666666,5.7,16.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.2321833333333334,181,4,37,3,6,62,41,48,0.131,0.8690000000000001,0.0,-0.7319,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,5,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,7,5,5,7,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,3,2,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26955541399297445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18758605812902385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843871132429472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600448875782935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345160537973921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045377519264463,0.0,0.5328313178867813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912382287954964,0.0,0.288202385598041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264186074684198,0.0,0.0,0.2639492240799858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355726331758491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21981509367539176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OutcastedNobody,2019/01/07,"What mental illness causes someone to have an irrational want for something that doesn't exist? How do you numb it? I was normal when I was a kid, I didn't even consider wanting friends. Now that I'm an adult I can't stop craving friendship. I'm living the dream as far as human interaction goes, I'm disabled and just stay in my house alone, and I've hardly interacted with anyone in years. No human interaction is the one bright side to being disabled and I'm not even happy with it. It's not even some minor thing like someone who just wishes they had a pet dragon either, I wish so badly that I had friends that I can't sleep. I'm miserable and can't stop thinking about how much I wish I could have friends. What is this mental illness? Is there any way to numb the nonstop pain from it? ",4.318616600790513,5.185817428571434,5.143026538678711,84.258594014681,70.36645962732919,7.34522868435912,27.67984189723321,7.348242739294969,1.4259267080745337,630,21,126,6,11,205,97,161,0.168,0.648,0.184,-0.262,0,1,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,0,12,11,0,1,7,0,17,6,1,3,0,25,28,10,0,7,5,0,1,1,3,0,5,0,1,4,13,6,0,2,1,1,0,0,8,5,0,1,5,2,12,6,12,21,3,11,0,1,1,0,13,4,0,1,6,83,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835189201786686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740709480506927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001556926917964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959816804298608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471454008134798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436429028792268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28382304359529115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319971393910902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524800513732427,0.1283135649741895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16527800243229254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997909796151465,0.0,0.1264822235784167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887014446268202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105296781919402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034332183370374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970621175786877,0.0,0.15241586767736576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334194946928278,0.0,0.24273103979221586,0.11027199863686367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526731871311403,0.0,0.23950760683859199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951612975451708,0.09178144986023906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897156207633596,0.11369605753715112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4941516328467964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224090053258234
mentalhealth,sessygrandma,2019/01/07,"Needing support Have been waiting to start meds for about a month- finally started them today. I almost immediately felt worse than before-tired, drowsy depressed and now getting anxious about it. Looking for support to keep going with it because right now it doesn’t seem like a good idea ",8.957647058823529,9.782781235294117,7.698823529411764,70.14470588235295,60.17647058823529,8.368627450980393,40.52941176470589,7.793537801064563,3.5979882352941166,237,12,34,2,3,72,43,51,0.14,0.6729999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.3947,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,15,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,2,2,4,8,13,0,9,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,8,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092853820078247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23611284811133065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740572149138674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001317593994556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20067476232399495,0.22895155085763194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919495490968706,0.0,0.11878069237546968,0.17530101960088482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359378962966464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18577064216141992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210785390412794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17550909960372268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23215418272673025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668234576317143,0.0,0.0,0.15497238604906685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784866251206831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19026763422217285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29586548060140033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4743461426613457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981095236219768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21299096405130472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,acguy10,2019/01/07,"Always horny (help) I'm a 20 year old gay dude and I'm worried that I'm too horny. Like all the time I'm always thinking about sex and I'm always watching porn.  I jerk off at least 4 times a day and sometimes more. Sometimes during school I'll have to go to the bathroom and jerk off cause I just can't focus.  I hate it so much. Like whenever I'm not thinking about school or studying, I'll be thinking about sex or jerking off. At this point jerking off dosent even help cause I'll literally be horny again an hour later. I wanna try and stop porn and jerking off but it's so hard. Is this normal or should I see a therapist? ",1.1442567958357444,3.1024433909774447,2.595488721804511,94.67633314054369,81.25563909774436,4.994563331405437,21.508964719491033,5.873414542411696,0.0303214574898778,493,15,110,3,13,160,75,133,0.07400000000000001,0.865,0.061,-0.1407,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,9,8,6,0,6,0,6,5,0,2,1,22,18,12,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,0,3,5,2,13,15,4,18,0,0,2,5,2,8,0,3,11,56,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034837210700407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320905620310424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424221502626074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675942927181943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186178697401166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479461700097415,0.1595826479830575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21668316984871291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159179461075885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793492588954808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882147622133135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583695187460748,0.0,0.0,0.1696103887743147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279880308676053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32716967401160024,0.1288034181888041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31972539918969023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513540913616442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767251453219325,0.0,0.31071056009504433,0.0,0.0,0.1885031662462884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974062012265763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414978165785496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408865085407604
mentalhealth,Sarahtoneitdown,2019/01/07,Existential anxiety. Its been eating me up the past week or so. More so when I'm laying in bed.  I suffered pure O OCD. I just feel like crying. Had to say it to someone. ,-1.5524999999999984,0.3374487500000001,1.8277777777777795,92.645,103.16666666666666,4.622222222222223,17.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.010144444444444293,129,4,29,2,6,46,32,36,0.208,0.727,0.065,-0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,4,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,1,4,2,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944780639423075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4228385398379049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938897438769637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19463724176549,0.27500122932202475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18806225114989586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36746880879316185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30611975662427465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261584322820487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087756671995953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sogodnogod,2019/01/07,"Got passed up on for a promotion because they don't think I could handle the stress. I've been with this company for about 2 and a half years now. I didn't tell them I was dealing with depression until about a year into the job when I had an issue with it which led to me missing about a month of work. My attendance wasn't great for the next half year but since then it's been pretty much perfect. I've had no issues since. 

A position opened up last week that I was very interested in and I let them know I wanted it. I was the leading candidate to get the job given my job performance but today I was told they were giving the position to someone else because they don't think I'd be able to handle the stress. 

This really sucks, I would've been able to get off the floor and into an office, it comes with a decent raise and I wouldn't have to get up at 3:45 in the morning everyday. I like the company I work for but this is seriously making me consider finding a new place to work and not telling them I've dealt with depression issues in the past. 

Sorry if this isn't the right place to post this I was just feeling like I needed to say something to someone and my gf is still asleep. ",5.31754608294931,4.862896491935484,6.068571428571428,83.10500000000002,67.95161290322581,9.505069124423963,28.60138248847927,9.04235418022936,1.992594700460829,942,27,203,15,14,310,127,248,0.108,0.792,0.1,0.2389,3,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,6,7,7,12,1,2,21,0,23,1,1,3,1,34,40,13,0,5,6,0,1,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,11,15,0,0,5,0,0,5,8,7,0,2,16,2,26,5,35,20,1,38,0,3,0,0,13,16,1,1,18,136,37,8,0.21843923974137386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315853306662007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408303155253264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720297918538883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260063226926326,0.1881413971070918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123897764644262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05522472148900924,0.07802651825873066,0.0,0.0,0.0998247538815611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118823052659346,0.10477341157956073,0.0,0.0,0.08735290741274414,0.12041501648656215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34199072099071937,0.32515085957352674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002424674110846,0.08902856754308791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168446117342146,0.0,0.10671837874544453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290494436793102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717805856482784,0.0,0.08028898757548372,0.08098496421733606,0.0,0.1054849894616389,0.11615630480204785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426248562415898,0.0,0.0,0.228222513107522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460220474463866,0.11111561857060827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699688852173654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327295860370237,0.0,0.0868558254757197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806951964028836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508285897074014,0.08408259936429772,0.0,0.1222624225032524,0.0,0.0,0.0872229295134651,0.0,0.2502214110945916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19092552363318746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996704463635268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352742892246312,0.1043640272904246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011762479724028,0.06442056158250567,0.0,0.08760939103435271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385395521957638,0.0,0.0,0.07758648429215359,0.0,0.0,0.2110015628724732
mentalhealth,TovaMJ,2019/01/07,"How can sadness be such an incredibly deep emotion. Idk I guess I just wanted to share. I'm in recovery and have a major meltdown at least once a day. Just had one two hours ago. God chill down meds from the nurse (I'm inpatient) and managed to calm down. Now I'm calm. And so incredibly said. I'm trying to draw. I know that this sadness is mostly sadness I wasn't allowed to feel when I was a kid. Rationally, I totally see what's going on and see that I'm on my way to getting better.
But in the end here I am, feeling so incredibly deeply said, it makes me feel like no other human has ever experienced this. I know that's not true, but I guess that's why I wanted to share this. To see that I'm not the only one. ",0.4673284313725468,2.47240303267974,3.1014665032679747,89.8584742647059,84.0326797385621,5.916503267973857,20.67361111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.505157189542484,556,17,125,8,16,194,90,153,0.07400000000000001,0.825,0.101,0.4122,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,0,0,7,0,9,0,0,3,3,26,32,10,0,2,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,11,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,3,0,3,5,9,12,7,15,26,4,17,0,3,3,0,6,8,0,3,8,79,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125962418835592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509147786670237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004690812800942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191943936218252,0.15113395340866234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435115947132375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588379581355649,0.1219032836621708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915091899188331,0.0,0.09697708005396033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759523317250541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804331646704768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875555372809611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336473987622305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390168768249813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895395144859529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172309952048232,0.2312564299766387,0.12977731588282634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246301956934598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079273811792874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158514900849578,0.0,0.16668779618174898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012925391910544,0.13544390450344615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539735748836613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cc2104,2019/01/07,"Anonymous online survey for research on self-respect and forgiveness (18+ from any Western English Speaking country) (mod approved) We are looking for adults aged 18 or over from any English speaking Western country, hoping to gain a broader perspective from a general sample. The study aims to gain further insight into the concept of self-respect which has been relatively neglected in psychological research, and its relationship with forgiveness.

You will be asked to complete an online questionnaire, which will consist of short statements on your self-respect, self-esteem and empathy. You will then be given a scenario asking you to imagine that your best friend has betrayed you and asked to indicate your feelings towards that person. None of the measures are diagnostic tools or used for therapy purposes. The study should take around 18 minutes to complete.

Your participation would be hugely appreciated, yet is completely voluntary.

If you qualify and would like to participate please click the link below:

[https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/personal-feelings-and-forgiveness-1-reddit-rev](https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/personal-feelings-and-forgiveness-1-reddit-rev)

Only anonymous data is collected for this study. All data will be kept strictly confidential and will only be disseminated as group data (see the study information page after clicking the link). I am accountable to the University of Chester (UK), Faculty of Social Sciences, Department of Psychology, who has granted ethical approval for this research. I have no conflict of interest and am not receiving any funding or sponsorship.

Thanks for your help!           ",12.080260000000004,14.386077136000006,9.99735,51.21642500000002,53.64,12.490000000000002,48.425,12.048122262838008,7.048259999999999,1364,82,150,39,16,413,152,250,0.044,0.7809999999999999,0.174,0.9861,0,0,0,0,0,0,64.0,1,10,0,5,2,9,0,0,12,0,24,0,0,1,1,35,36,13,0,5,5,0,1,1,1,8,0,2,0,2,8,11,0,3,9,0,2,2,3,1,0,0,3,8,13,8,35,20,4,17,0,1,4,0,28,11,0,5,5,110,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700915102510144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785616787659743,0.3713034851056329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13893631553855804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4164287203571701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694092961662118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228505309666563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873897895530136,0.0,0.0,0.13149425723638605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467961528624892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117519963021966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20137882938629068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155988219012008,0.0,0.14532569657150754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421385199367551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549858416791162,0.0,0.5524512582172285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495607732928186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954164809798942,0.0,0.0,0.12188795860378268,0.15140078696957865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434342292240884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18809371035889366,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InfiniteText,2019/01/07,"I feel like there's more wrong with me than I know Don't know if this would belong in this sub, but I'm happy to remove this if it doesn't.


Ok so I've recently gone to see a psychologist and will continue to see them for depression and anxiety, and it kinda made me notice weird things about me and I'm not exactly sure when they started. I think it's a mental thing and I've never heard of this happening to anyone else. I haven't tried asking my psychologist because I don't really want to look like an idiot and the internet is somewhat anonymous.

So every time I touch something without me actively trying to do so (like if I brush past a wall or if someone touches my shoulder, sorry for the bad examples) I have to scratch at that spot or try to rub at it, sort of like I'm trying to get clean? I'm not sure how else to describe it. 

Another thing is I have trouble trying to pay attention to things. Like in class I'll try to pay attention to the teacher or something and get distracted by a pencil and if I try to focus on the teacher again I focus so much that I'm not taking in any information. Or if I'm watching some show on tv I have to have something in my hands to fidget with or I'll play a game on my Switch.

I don't know if this is a mental thing or just me being weird, so sorry again if this doesn't belong here or if I'm just being a nuisance and also for how horribly worded this is, I'm not used to writing this much and English is my second language


",4.765179268725596,4.34518856549521,6.271538871139513,81.0702618033369,69.09584664536742,9.255875044373447,29.529463968761092,8.841846274778883,2.139355129570465,1163,38,247,18,18,400,143,313,0.159,0.768,0.07200000000000001,-0.9722,0,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,0,16,18,1,1,12,1,20,2,2,4,4,60,47,36,0,11,24,0,6,5,0,2,0,1,1,0,20,12,0,0,8,4,2,2,12,8,0,1,3,12,25,10,38,40,5,21,0,1,4,0,7,10,0,20,14,168,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369343610490218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711697289414303,0.10974103384951507,0.08006162119133282,0.0,0.0,0.07317797040432192,0.10723253027912594,0.0,0.0,0.09783931514699304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738346234989015,0.06379738012319383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901401356092197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485346541177346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817726828091807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052917262872956984,0.07476633048444739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935697336605524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254703336509926,0.11140835220397403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17254874762107844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25564839211422635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788475597036008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902812134920526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109374435220384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386853375733234,0.0,0.08071722723909733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191516503314946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990607848804746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704537011946647,0.0,0.10333526151835536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679470521580547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867476410344856,0.2417081097179052,0.0,0.23430784535062796,0.07407611805147638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197274249579468,0.0,0.07868835388716787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34764427404173753,0.06705939563721336,0.0,0.0,0.061025806784506226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4973822996571913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038925815987513,0.0,0.0,0.061728872500758813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088473458364916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434468248959017,0.1144250035083368,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThatTheo,2019/01/07,"Help with hobby ideas and forming a schedule when not working and out of school Due to anxiety and depression, I was kicked out of school for low attendance. Several months later I gave college a try but couldn't attend there either. Now I have to wait eight more months before trying again, and due to my mental health I can't work, so I just feel like a failure and like I have nothing to get up for anymore. My days are so empty. Not having any routine is making my mental health even worse.. 

I was wondering if anyone could tell me their routines/help me come up with one myself/suggest things for me to do/offer advice?",6.394531615925052,6.358337680327871,6.392388758782199,80.27450819672133,65.63934426229507,8.610772833723653,29.72365339578454,7.957251820313856,1.9608604215456664,495,15,92,5,7,157,83,122,0.105,0.8190000000000001,0.076,-0.3835,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,2,8,4,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,1,0,23,17,10,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,10,0,1,3,0,0,3,4,2,0,2,3,1,14,2,16,12,3,18,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,2,12,66,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862434466770814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103881205676342,0.0,0.1241799290844888,0.0,0.16098504855545973,0.11350301230646664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812856397575718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398305830026826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960512876602212,0.0,0.0,0.10468767013468533,0.0,0.13981225312523254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721564111583716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207755292894857,0.1159666451829386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480930685276447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450926274027832,0.0,0.0,0.21760911549265788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324774676419486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860982443730465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835472355133216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271754479618979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591361811583491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575740841117588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999716970584014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32856775829610385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18338362796995453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188120237608556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784303553874333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204191427989592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603701668693902,0.23635239427921825,0.0,0.16542537191423615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-lovesmenot-,2019/01/07,"Detained under the Mental Health Act, struggling to talk to staff Hello, this is my first time posting here and I’m not sure if it’s for advice or just to vent. I’m sorry. 

I’ve been detained and they’ll let me go when I am no longer a danger to myself. The thing is, nothing in my life, or how I see it, is changing so therefore the suicidal thoughts won’t stop. 

They’re treating me with an antidepressant which is ineffective (it has been a month) and they’ve done nothing to help with my anxious feelings. I’m left in my room feeling very low and anxious and nothing is helping so I’m basically stuck here. I’ve attempted suicide multiple times on the ward and they deal with it by taking my things away. The thoughts are still there though, I feel like it’s delaying the inevitable. 

It has been a month and I still feel the same, I’ve lost hope. ",3.5872450805008924,4.935389209302329,4.25139534883721,88.14762969588553,72.6046511627907,6.920214669051878,28.34704830053667,7.321109707123232,1.423638103756708,672,26,140,7,13,214,103,172,0.247,0.716,0.038,-0.9864,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,2,4,11,9,1,1,11,0,16,2,0,2,1,28,32,15,2,2,5,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,10,10,0,2,6,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,8,5,14,4,15,21,1,21,0,2,1,0,7,8,0,4,11,90,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935821295237213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29909883566245793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243734534639665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003833172270258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13647586672753806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546861637062446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677371015813301,0.09457084292056096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260062734885565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523344678797826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071158395445998,0.0,0.0,0.17746031582507207,0.0,0.0,0.13148118613189358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382904368048646,0.1353654356237701,0.0935024698547162,0.06467318584949856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14450618377068736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340585065584445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211325653550645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810606760589669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678149550704435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548809714706034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818629116965082,0.0,0.0,0.21143442383874628,0.11067390421322336,0.0,0.13839018883022067,0.0,0.2896000105088541,0.0,0.1247646631068261,0.0,0.0995317532226467,0.10640039193712532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758920723786093,0.0,0.13006067611940547,0.21018663105997984,0.15438130907651154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092256828737869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bedangu,2019/01/07,"First day at a retirement home (Be prepared for mistakes if I make some.)
Today was the first day for me at the retirement home. I have to work there for three weeks and today was my first day. Nothing problematic happened but now when I  am at home I fell disgusted. And thats not even the Problem. After I got home I got some kind of mental breakdown. I am in my bed now for an hour and I can’t stop crying. My mom already said that I could just go there 2 weeks and stay home the third week. She would tell my school that I am ill. If I don’t feel better tomorrow I will try to change the location. If this doesn’t work I think I have to go into mental treatment or how it’s called in english before I don’t feel sane anymore. What would you do? Pls",0.575715871254161,2.66919018238994,2.232489826119128,95.71534961154272,84.28301886792453,5.250610432852387,19.415834258231595,6.522977012572876,-0.0316913799482057,585,16,134,6,17,191,94,159,0.11,0.816,0.073,-0.8253,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,6,8,5,1,0,7,0,17,1,0,2,0,25,27,11,0,8,7,1,2,0,0,3,1,1,6,0,6,5,0,1,3,0,0,3,5,3,0,5,5,3,22,2,15,17,2,28,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,6,18,92,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250239981840202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235833011436576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640581487954004,0.0,0.0,0.10020033963482934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568699948110503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198512299034936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904569459901792,0.0,0.124449385319856,0.21919796724186927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483036782615576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457084828338075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891063505895255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877647164881864,0.0,0.1812249375361633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018651327644967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.568221287126478,0.0,0.11157288591670944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797944825794306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562538203066267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283496965542996,0.0,0.0,0.13268989223823752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870973714053933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840814287548227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776961723535124,0.0,0.0,0.11466072465373288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075753898092878,0.0,0.09471980546327716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902494123920744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259494753131639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214781080509471,0.0,0.0,0.07691995943834208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272635569119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649604145107704,0.0,0.0,0.16096322590683124,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayacc52783,2019/01/07,"I've been keeping my feelings to myself for years. I can't cope anymore. I honestly can't recall when I first started feeling unhappy. It's been a while. Lately though, I've been completely overwhelmed by hopelessness, and I don't know if I'm going to be alive for much longer.

My mental health is deteriorating rapidly, and I have no idea what to do. My friends and family aren't very understanding people, so I can't talk to them. I've been wanting to speak to a doctor about my mental health, but I am absolutely terrified that I'll be judged or not taken seriously.

It's had a pretty significant impact on my grades. Last year I was achieving A's in the majority of assignments, but now I'm struggling to even get C's. Due to this, I've lost motivation to do work. Everyone's telling me that I need to improve so that I can get the grades required to go to university in September, but I don't care anymore.  I don't see the point trying when hopefully I'll be dead by September.

I'm also finding it difficult to manage my part time job, which is in retail. I've had this job for around 8 months, but it still feels like I've only been there for a week. I'm still anxious about things I should be used to by now. I'm constantly worrying throughout the day that I've made a mistake that will get me fired. I leave work in tears after every shift. It's horrible, and I'm tempted to quit my job just to avoid the anxiety associated with it. 

What has got me concerned lately though is that I've started self-harming my thighs. I know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism, but I just can't stop. I don't even know why I keep hurting myself, since I hate having to find ways to hide my cuts from everyone.

Most days I struggle to sleep. Every night my mind is racing and I think about suicide. I know it's messed up, but the thought of being able to kill myself and make all these problems go away is relieving to me. I get to escape my problems, while people don't have to deal with me being a burden anymore. 

I don't know what's started all of this. My life seems great to other people for the most part, but I still feel terrible. What do I do?",4.072201974183752,4.8796721845102535,5.438184510250569,82.13706416097192,70.89066059225513,8.495702353834472,28.300759301442675,8.745826893841286,2.0229917388003047,1695,60,349,29,30,570,210,439,0.236,0.6759999999999999,0.087,-0.9974,3,1,0,0,0,5,46.0,0,0,1,8,21,25,3,4,15,0,42,6,2,4,2,58,85,24,3,8,12,0,5,1,1,2,4,1,0,0,25,9,0,5,17,0,1,3,13,18,0,1,13,7,47,7,50,64,8,41,0,4,1,0,6,9,0,6,29,223,72,13,0.0815024917037201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517751316942576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06234918307121608,0.09207461686327104,0.24248571419179646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255449714798826,0.0,0.0,0.07657427385361075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309722214827242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545381190155546,0.08807523924108994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512472923197826,0.08402549018413416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342125381503553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766325420400204,0.0,0.13733872886805507,0.1557582470709098,0.0,0.0,0.07683329564225977,0.0,0.16484043472508825,0.05822539635810551,0.0,0.0,0.1489836017501361,0.06932597780761714,0.0,0.0,0.06296862291462205,0.0,0.1703267520956072,0.0,0.13895923278264752,0.0,0.06518498800977593,0.08985678483242304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046683704444874,0.0,0.17326667490544298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095036418988005,0.0,0.0,0.08725010304346023,0.09200639261611364,0.0,0.0,0.2426359409254933,0.14488631887911005,0.0901704314713994,0.0,0.22395818983033391,0.06643540873119294,0.1838767212809144,0.08629937068345031,0.0,0.0,0.05756762020537112,0.039818000596564186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896959746158936,0.0,0.0,0.07711962829786675,0.054403546089453206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16427068409343726,0.0,0.08229428287206045,0.0,0.06505451129878227,0.0,0.05991370919912169,0.060433064883985935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648456733373789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198631758361337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17651851231058496,0.0,0.16951069687985268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704619859343684,0.0,0.0,0.08291733473735786,0.0,0.15597375481705447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668793226691048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494693372469197,0.07419680742755339,0.0850248738799432,0.0,0.0,0.06741970336082745,0.0,0.08156135182850589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17306364935674715,0.0,0.1952639854669541,0.0681397325043078,0.0,0.17040820083376432,0.0,0.08915049753417982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550861557193519,0.0712367701167884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414663396357703,0.052223505757367235,0.16015156857630455,0.06470387449608674,0.04752475833811549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05533484190276222,0.0,0.0,0.08484696820332098,0.0,0.07039198458413885,0.0,0.0672480912870059,0.04807228126360021,0.0646928842856907,0.0653763826902101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354332186096563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866956930059905,0.08276973655022182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049698649860815
mentalhealth,seaturtlesm8,2019/01/07,"I think I’m about to lose it and I don’t know what to do I’m 29. I lost my job 6 months ago due to my deteriorating mental health and then I had a big break and got myself to change my mindset. Things were going well until the last month or so. 

I have been applying and interviewing and getting no where. This last month I’ve also been sick the whole month. First week of December was a bad cold. Then a week long colitis flare up. Then a few normal days and then the flu and now I’m in the bathroom after I eat within 20 minutes and odd aches and pains. 

My unemployment ran out and I am -45 in my bank account. No jobs have gotten back to me and I even got rejected from a free lance delivery job. I was lucky enough to have my parents take me back but like anyone would I feel they are getting tired of my shit as I am and I am literally about to lose it. 

Today is the first day I’ve felt suicidal in months and I can’t take it. I want to bash my head into the wall continuously because of how much of a failure I’ve become. I’ve lost so many friends not only because of my failure but because due to my past depression and alcohol abuse I did some very stupid things to people I deeply cared and still care about. Things that shouldn’t be forgiven because I betrayed trust and I accept that. But hearing that people that weren’t effected are still wishing bad things upon me usually is my motivation but nothing is going right. 

I am at my wits end and I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be alright. If not I think I might commit myself.  ",1.8214814814814844,3.744994234567905,3.554098765432098,88.81744444444445,78.87654320987654,6.542222222222222,22.528395061728396,7.554174236665415,0.8523958024691365,1228,38,265,18,30,410,173,324,0.22,0.665,0.115,-0.9902,7,1,1,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,1,8,16,21,2,0,12,1,29,9,2,3,1,47,56,33,1,7,9,1,2,1,1,3,6,1,0,0,13,19,2,0,8,0,3,4,8,11,1,2,15,4,41,11,33,36,5,51,0,6,0,0,6,13,1,5,34,179,54,6,0.0,0.1069892811549318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004441463253809,0.09650192755147312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221189676133205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313900217237213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886836643983974,0.15079140863445584,0.22018117747371055,0.09972790121670266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18413123591648048,0.0,0.09552412946054076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647047770339902,0.0,0.0777742015336395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239818868222896,0.0,0.0,0.07997791146587374,0.09330277169010802,0.0,0.05964148844831525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115471536763008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04565777319364255,0.0,0.0867009835597166,0.0,0.0,0.15361618168243935,0.0,0.0,0.06976460862036901,0.0,0.09435476470273366,0.0,0.1539566222118698,0.0,0.14444035667070165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267259308682303,0.09598337395849256,0.1017732807558993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688227989177015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496258445480833,0.14721110528175954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411541969770253,0.0,0.0,0.07991157325142505,0.0,0.2020424606378926,0.19714355686118196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915487836517268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099992546381157,0.09579272917508233,0.0,0.0,0.3603780986208471,0.0,0.06637998863241322,0.06695539658024853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884736260514321,0.08664410880552456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867628647210731,0.09608426183021564,0.0,0.10026610213427446,0.0,0.08620039708449548,0.1252036001149691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771146594170765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269039364859824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650985798632581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422543475582522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877220242240642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578688011081674,0.0,0.0789251083561952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399619716442709,0.11571961625669548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378515696454904,0.08559267917726845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945134199506968,0.07450594521442812,0.05326055633121665,0.0,0.14486445916348176,0.0,0.08118944206770039,0.0,0.0,0.1008153561611954,0.10383913345729934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414565808916335,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mybosspartieshard,2019/01/07,"I don’t know how much longer I can do this. In November everything was amazing. I thought I had only very minor social anxiety that I have learned to cope with over the years and have found ways to overcome some of those anxieties. Ladies and gentlemen, I had no idea what anxiety could be in November. At the beginning of December I woke up one morning, took my pills, got sick and puked them all up for seemingly no reason, and then went to work feeling like crap the rest of the day. Long story short, I got sicker and sicker feeling every day for a week until I figured out I felt so beyond stressed that I hadn’t even recognized it. I would literally wake up at 3 in the morning and puke until midnight on the worst days before I would pass out from exhaustion. It got to the point where I could no longer take care of myself, let alone my dog. My parents drove all the way up to my place to come get me and my dog to take care of us for a while while I got better. I will never be able to express how much it meant to me that they were so willing to take me in and care for me like that. I felt so small and like a little child I was so helpless and they were so willing to be there. I have been blessed with loving parents. 

I’m happy to say that after I figured out That what I was feeling stressed and anxious the nausea began to fade. I’m finally no longer in those stages, but because of the illness I missed a lot of work and I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to come back, so I was laid off due to the extended illness a week before Christmas. When I lost my job my girlfriend thought it was a sign of weakness and a lack of ability to provide, so she broke up with me. That’s been one of the hardest things about this all. Is the fact that my mental breakdown took away two of the biggest things in my life. I tried working things out with my ex girlfriend but it only made things worse. She thinks that I’m faking this to run away from responsibility I guess. 

Anyway, I started a new job a couple days ago now and that’s going well enough. The only thing now is that I simply fail to find any meaning at all to life. On my days off the most intense thing I’ll usually do is take my dog on a walk around the neighborhood. I moved far away, so none my friends ever are able to come over and I’m rarely able to go with them. I left the religion that I was raised in last year so it’s hard to not have that sense of community anymore. I don’t have money, I’m behind on bills, sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough for my dog through this mental illness. I’m seeing a therapist and talking with doctors. I just don’t feel like I’m doing enough or getting better at all and I don’t know how much longer I can go. ",4.354863168465982,4.420931295254835,5.142552849610848,87.14876274165205,69.96660808435851,8.049430077830781,28.20793371830279,7.658307877764058,1.4345651117248313,2133,68,471,22,35,694,246,569,0.135,0.782,0.083,-0.9817,4,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,1,0,4,7,27,29,1,2,29,0,46,15,2,5,9,82,102,39,0,5,6,3,8,5,3,5,12,1,0,1,33,31,0,0,22,0,2,14,14,12,1,3,32,10,65,17,86,58,18,92,1,5,1,1,19,42,1,6,38,334,98,8,0.25921488464309145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744458877623267,0.0,0.0,0.06711711134282802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04406875260361271,0.0,0.14872400793721904,0.07320975926580246,0.06426787811215996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057689051019819464,0.0,0.0,0.1826556877157985,0.049830061477650144,0.0,0.03950374693321357,0.0,0.11028638737644544,0.0,0.0,0.11462725029632476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19821513799506274,0.0,0.0,0.1674680029991623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348099644018798,0.07170408487791942,0.0,0.20896519535303726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632935457683521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20087870125702348,0.0,0.04280224664824018,0.05861867587297275,0.05459993003952658,0.0,0.058241406011240365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638335427642149,0.13888737403695564,0.12444346978978975,0.07098930895076103,0.05922942712255,0.0,0.0,0.07105393538971652,0.05006719421623235,0.0,0.06771453926309841,0.0,0.11048834441402224,0.0,0.20731782297944296,0.0,0.071388604894716,0.0,0.0,0.06898476619594128,0.058051405412009725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315551325446254,0.0,0.0,0.1286153877477076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122886077248089,0.052823681983476006,0.0,0.0,0.07040943265430878,0.06626619547332846,0.09154556945914487,0.15829912398380425,0.06495035315149568,0.0,0.057349253973104475,0.0,0.0,0.07074091681326937,0.05509380632789025,0.05848788845379471,0.06131884785074974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059025020592663,0.0,0.0,0.13061381786435144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887609992586707,0.1429145743946732,0.0,0.04998062478187488,0.06258783771462066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782535718405084,0.14785845033084713,0.0,0.0,0.14391372669137625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770609584404916,0.0,0.06126046291071511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662901839779273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051534520097958406,0.0,0.0,0.05164017559907346,0.058994873887214715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605923279836758,0.0,0.0,0.06409253725486383,0.0,0.04586840738051736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846488728149287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061076740273490526,0.0,0.1948973335611772,0.052086776347700085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524211501402941,0.2583162769005198,0.04152360786024865,0.0,0.10289383191151344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439986372955002,0.04399747284018776,0.0,0.06330381922510536,0.0,0.0779508974846757,0.0,0.07137214345782654,0.05346985675234781,0.0,0.10287635498497744,0.10396327242993912,0.0,0.05826632793757654,0.06007369875673666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153364244090993,0.0,0.06604052819961273,0.09206940840604087,0.0,0.0,0.0834629435081616
mentalhealth,someonecalledsukhjit,2019/01/07,"Recommendations for a psychologist or psychiatrist (Sydney) I've been facing mental health issues since some time and want to see someone. Not sure if I need medication or not yet. 

I am not a citizen so do not have a Medicare. I won't be covered by insurance and have to pay outta pocket. I want to avoid paying huge sum of money. 

Any recommendations for a good affordable therapist in Sydney CBD or West (Sydney, Australia) 

Thank you. ",3.4440694444444446,6.374480712499999,5.429166666666671,71.9702777777778,79.375,8.055555555555555,25.13888888888889,8.841846274778883,2.5658472222222217,347,13,57,9,9,119,59,80,0.071,0.7959999999999999,0.132,0.5773,1,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,4,0,7,3,1,0,1,16,12,7,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,1,5,3,8,9,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,5,2,37,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18994002540553848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23427154140181694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29689291782075605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915265318894022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813749178453889,0.28147826314279983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071044414749604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22257349449982813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23104768946861226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23665801735032796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632458808984586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257150644227753,0.0,0.3242998358923277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16286760485742047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294879377915961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anna7363,2019/01/07,"Question About Long Time Acquaintance/Frenemy So for the longest time I have played hockey with this girl who completely hates me. Everyone including myself have absolutely no idea what sparked this resentment. (There is a standing theory that it came from me scoring on her during warmups. But this would be bizarre since that is the point of warms up. To receive quality shots). But it started from almost day 1 with her (playing for her high level adult organization) and culminated with me getting blacked balled to a lower division team everyone in the organization agreed I had no place in being on (I was the leagues leading scorer by double as a result). 

This year a bouncy of girls including myself broke off with this club and started our own new organization. As we were all fed up with her crap (what happened to me didn’t cause the break up but was what broke the camels back). 

Since then we have played them multiple times and she has shown little effort to hide her resentment for me and the other girls who used to play for her in our organization. Going to far as to slash, trip, and scream at us whenever we get close to her. On top of that as to emphasize the point. She actively avoids shaking out hands at the end of a game in the lineup with that exact purpose (which is a big sportsmanship deal at all level and ages of hockey)

I ha e begun to think that there is no way this pattern of behavior is just her as my teammates say being a “bitch”. It makes me think she has some variety of mental health issue and was wondering if the “brain trust” here had any insightful thoughts or speculation as to what could cause this extreme pattern of behavior. As she has a habit of treating anyone this way who she doesn’t like or feel has “betrayed” her in some ways. Even though more often than not it’s a completely irrational feeling. ",7.2333620689655165,7.420559864942533,7.0310574712643685,75.64468965517243,63.856321839080465,10.523218390804598,33.49195402298851,10.241411754978122,3.298647816091953,1475,56,271,31,20,467,195,348,0.128,0.784,0.08800000000000001,-0.9381,1,1,0,1,0,0,28.0,6,0,1,4,10,19,5,2,20,1,25,5,3,6,3,52,42,23,0,3,8,0,4,1,0,1,1,2,0,4,26,19,1,1,9,10,0,6,6,10,0,0,10,7,34,9,58,27,7,52,0,2,1,0,34,27,2,9,15,197,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770595131226664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672686349025083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917409050373289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806506161757547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423690880983657,0.0,0.14586386124684916,0.0,0.2620231948218369,0.0,0.0,0.2674320029553797,0.0,0.0,0.10182478198132146,0.0,0.0,0.08224828206329016,0.13148099914570088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129564495790861,0.0,0.0,0.08423439246232846,0.0,0.0,0.2437266346817824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289691081228509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326153467058946,0.0,0.07247998485040831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277707599094512,0.0,0.0,0.12591250713936478,0.0,0.13556169375089575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474569453811708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396931695903933,0.0,0.13311139493098753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623062179220576,0.12782164410416202,0.0,0.11286275709527152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512931708265291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852334230732748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317223740026835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324491810651598,0.0,0.2411199541768565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286622998887766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141941910116208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109933531018461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053713211202752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634360882828014,0.12530059750332614,0.10124701502723142,0.22309668280756814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340658506730212,0.11014762835288924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036894534572768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830417835662914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059583653616128,0.0,0.0,0.0821271182013607
mentalhealth,throwaway952367,2019/01/07,"I’m (18F) confused and conflicted It’s almost been a year since I  was diagnosed with Chronic PTSD, but I’ve shown signs for probably 14-15 years. I’ve tried to figure out the root cause for it and i thought I did. It all made sense but it seems that event would’ve probably killed me so now i don’t know. I’m trying to get passed this and move on so I can be better, but I know that if I don’t figure out what caused it I can’t move passed it. I have a blank in my memory and one day my mother said something that clicked in my head which is when I started to think this event was possible and was subconsciously shaping me as a person. Since my realization I’ve noticed my memory shifted and I couldn’t remember most things even though it was good before. I spend a lot of time being confused, I don’t know who I am and I don’t feel connected to people close to me. I try to end relationships. I’m an emotionless pit most of the time but sometimes I have emotional extremes. I try to pick up hobbies and learn new things then somehow u get confused about trying to better myself. I’m confused about writing this. I just don’t know. I want to know how to become a person I guess. I don’t want to be forever lost in confusion.",1.6462289234760057,3.5599788677042845,3.37068579766537,89.96915450713362,79.38910505836577,6.77360570687419,22.770590142671857,7.793537801064563,0.9998691309987028,967,31,211,16,24,322,135,257,0.095,0.833,0.07200000000000001,-0.7475,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,11,10,1,5,8,0,22,3,1,6,1,55,44,20,1,4,6,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,18,12,0,1,13,0,1,4,8,7,0,1,10,3,31,3,26,30,4,26,0,1,1,0,7,9,0,13,13,133,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386098163318717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558027822711612,0.0967561512824552,0.0,0.0,0.20112893049812255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23361650625136146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333150912027972,0.0,0.0,0.11541005546762162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790489754603648,0.1007105158272994,0.0,0.0,0.07510229957556104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05749359798948521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881426821242333,0.0,0.0,0.0953719078779667,0.0,0.0,0.12526091060467176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669602871299994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257997783420317,0.0,0.3124515451328961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412445473766825,0.09666949451507996,0.0,0.10759216727014016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241704765300745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098187806929826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945599813786934,0.0,0.0,0.0770507017981313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788300101859612,0.19856886459477885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128187384417249,0.0,0.0,0.24519042406067304,0.0,0.13291721844718304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207859930936985,0.1288076910144471,0.0,0.10816124942157312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351444232617654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18811895651997146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753708548306535,0.11245897845108783,0.0,0.08048229104551277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108355232270695,0.07285875581735925,0.11171639915252106,0.0902705347712586,0.1326067529484955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38599742356599503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341344879618298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077408119112661,0.0,0.0,0.14644696196258658
mentalhealth,a_little_bug123,2019/01/07,I think I need to see someone who can give me a diagnosis So for the past 3-4 years I have had really bad self esteem(doesn’t sound like much I know) and I hate my body. For a couple months I was eating less than 150 calories a day and at me lowest point I wasn’t eating for days. Most of the time I would only eat one meal a day keeping it under 300 calories. I lost all interest in my once favourite activities and I pushed away friends and family and stayed in my room as soon as I got home from school. I cut my arms because it was easier to hide that wrists and I had extreme panic attacks a school to the point where I threw up and I was uncontrollably shaking. I also wanted to die. I almost overdosed several times on purpose. I asked my parent to take me to a psychiatrist. They don’t know everything. But instead the took me to someone who could diagnose anything and told my parents about what we talked about when I asked her not to. I want to talk to someone who can give me a diagnosis if I need one so we can work from there. Any ideas on how to ask or get them to send me to a psychiatrist. I asked once but I don’t want to tell my parents because I know that they will be disappointed in me and every time I ask I have to give them reasons. Any ideas?,2.2860227272727265,3.849847071969698,3.929393939393944,88.26409090909092,76.38636363636363,7.072727272727272,24.12121212121212,7.84624498591911,1.0903393939393935,993,32,219,15,22,332,143,264,0.112,0.856,0.032,-0.9279,4,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,4,2,12,12,3,3,12,0,17,8,3,2,1,35,44,20,1,8,5,3,0,1,1,2,1,1,2,1,8,11,4,1,7,0,0,5,4,9,0,2,11,2,47,3,35,29,4,30,0,2,1,0,28,13,0,4,12,148,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876481123304308,0.0,0.0,0.06999727893184994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904607099589876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202928902049115,0.0,0.40914115560157455,0.09957739889531922,0.08223681060064415,0.0,0.07308344444681966,0.10671429491811467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722549989110586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988515286415813,0.09684968458096277,0.0,0.16934778507638204,0.0,0.0,0.08884056118781064,0.09084176216876202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26869347334957244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374734663267654,0.0,0.07866583628176818,0.0,0.08251498660810186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762504501593752,0.0,0.04573053111508165,0.2518987064227664,0.0,0.0,0.07000530652387545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641722219015463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877991868436812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976202163688703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780020733245302,0.0,0.0,0.14431170924127665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042762473723432906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554874721569784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698651812829846,0.0,0.06434422564959015,0.12980397360036985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643204020604884,0.11862445711380963,0.06657009988367815,0.0,0.1026969640785916,0.2915733265544277,0.0,0.08355677539813114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548726673767378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056073614512124566,0.08999486468242382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716897651643554,0.06974964853105471,0.0,0.0913123180635795,0.09888337749812896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224902866714127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329476005190328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581126205434394,0.14070573158286934,0.07650460758002625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608534479975024,0.0,0.0,0.1531173991057846,0.0,0.0,0.08363815168751193,0.09724845262234327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488143303741586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372249061930353,0.0,0.0,0.06217841827883625,0.0,0.0,0.056366103595956764
mentalhealth,alicevinrace,2019/01/07,"I can’t hold it together anymore and I want to stop hurting I am sitting in a bathroom stall in the university I graduated from bawling out. I’m at my breaking point. Again. And I want the hurting to stop.

I took a day off from work. My fourth time for this school year. I made an appointment with my primary doctor in a few hours just so I can cover myself with a doctors note this time. I may have broken before because teaching is hard, but it has gotten easier. This school year isn’t that bad. So, why am I crying so much today? Do I not like my kids? Do I not enjoy teaching?

I thought this was what I wanted to do. But I don’t want this. I struggle to do anything. I get praised for growing as an educator. I am dying inside though.

I felt so much joy doing an emcee job for family during the winter break. I missed feeling that kind of enthusiasm and passion.

It’s not the medication or the therapy that I want right now. I want a voice to tell me it’s okay. It’s okay if I don’t want this anymore. That I did enough for the kids. That I’m not garbage for saying I can’t teach anymore- I’m tired. I love the kids and I want to help everyone but I’m tired. And broken. And losing my passion. I want a job that won’t tear me apart.

I want people to stop telling me I’m such a great teacher. I’m in my third year. I’m not. I don’t love it the way I thought I would. I’m hurting.

And I want people to stop telling to keep going. That I can do it! I did it for two years and I’m doing so well now!

I can’t. Someone just tell me I can finally let go.im going to break again",-1.2771052631578923,0.762514611111115,1.5343251461988316,96.2450315789474,97.33333333333334,4.25646783625731,18.243508771929825,6.042040473130201,-0.2226677894736846,1215,39,283,13,50,419,149,342,0.158,0.6409999999999999,0.201,0.9368,2,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,3,14,20,0,1,18,2,30,9,0,1,0,47,64,20,1,13,12,0,3,1,0,3,5,2,0,3,22,11,0,6,4,0,0,4,13,7,1,2,9,5,48,13,29,51,4,38,1,5,0,4,12,10,0,3,20,185,70,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23724108570222904,0.0,0.0,0.06561898397961251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657932398814145,0.04860858481218189,0.0,0.06785261691100293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875903230263559,0.051425513829282565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275722581040575,0.0,0.0,0.1632339364129831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239243232227282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619470649093771,0.0,0.0,0.07517149839941675,0.0,0.040318791389577856,0.0,0.07656262285481273,0.0873509505497063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041660705380085566,0.0,0.1359537379906374,0.0,0.0,0.08791330764539049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143111432458947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053447844257821134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852754831460056,0.0,0.25608901426608843,0.0,0.08613256615118865,0.0,0.15825870882718132,0.07087631473228105,0.0,0.08303663338171341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153925216996821,0.0,0.03895679266510983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920833466567815,0.0,0.0,0.1439363962713822,0.07545163807822056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032936500327513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172357181223844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056294429537493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753797965560929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809727344627436,0.0,0.06341221492664427,0.0,0.16140167964741434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756319433963169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266663859727343,0.0,0.08336125431782955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27878407172571884,0.0,0.09118930348001447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834385652901872,0.12660883950013505,0.09299372792702046,0.18329812429708686,0.0755839178049067,0.0,0.08859374764690878,0.0,0.0,0.07789410637276592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5173579920321673,0.0632936672426254,0.0,0.0,0.0716955722715717,0.0,0.07195268217179876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058051455844573815,0.0,0.0,0.05664479947533405,0.0,0.0,0.2053990258215127
mentalhealth,Throwhohohomerryxmas,2019/01/07,"Anxiety has trapped me financially and socially. UK I will keep this as brief as possible, I am not sure if I want to vent or am grasping at some vain hope of someone offering a useful partial solution.

I am 30 years old and in the UK.

I have suffered from anxiety issues since I was 5 years old, I thought anxiety was the normal way people felt until it started to cause large social issues around the age of 18. My typical issues are: panic attacks, a need for routine and specific execution of activities, avoidance of certain types of contact, social withdrawal and general catastophising of the pedestrian.

I sporadically worked during more stable periods of my adult life, but after my last period of employment I went onto benefits due to my illness for the first time in my life.

I had to partake in an assessment. The questions were tailored heavily towards physical ability as opposed to mental ability to do things. As such, they told me I would have to go back into work, or appeal to a tribunal. It is worth noting that for the past few years I had left the house for social reasons next to no times at all, and the thought of standing infront of people and pleading my case was too much to bear. How exactly do you talk about this to strangers when the moment you make eye contact with someone you can ""see"" all of the bad things people thinking about you.

I went into self employment, as a way to tailor my social situations to be those that are favourable, with mixed success. And then it happened, a single person criticised my work, and I cannot do it any longer. Whenever I work, I approach it with dread, my heart rate is elevated for entire days. I have been unable to dare open letters for years, for reasons I cannot rationalise, I have not been able to fill in my taxes even though I had never earned enough to be taxed. My bank account closed and amassed additional charges due to these issues. I work maybe one day a month if someone contacts me, and it socially drains me for days or weeks after.

I attended the doctors a few times recently and asked for help, I explained my difficulties making my issues known and stated my discomfort, he dismissed my claims as nonsense as he was understanding me fine, apparently. In the past Ii had used SSRIs and beta blockers to attempt to handle my situation with no positive result (unless the goal was to sleep all day for months and be unable to orgasm) and had entended a CBT course of treatment for an extended period. He put me on SSRIs again leading into the same side effects and an extremely out of character and (poor) suicide attempt.

The final time I attended the doctors, the doctor said that he could offer no other medications and that ""I am aware of my problems and will address them before they become a larger issue"". Address them fucking how exactly? I have requested a telephone consultation with a different doctor but have 2 week wait time.

I contacted helplines to ask about advocacy (but apparently need to be sectioned to qualify) and just other places I can go for help. I contacted citizens advice and they could offer no support in addressing these issues, nor any useful contacts.

TL:DR 

Can't fill in my taxes due to anxiety.

Cannot treat my anxiety due to anxiety/side effects/trivialisation of my condition.

Have one good productive day (today) every 2-6 months and spend the rest of the time doing the bare minimum to live, relying on the charity of my family.

I honestly at this point have started to fantasise about suicide, I do not plan to do it but I see no other recourse if the not paying taxes could result in prison time (I don't dare look it up). I see no ways to address my issues.

​",8.557273291925465,7.82836382463768,8.8579917184265,66.66847826086958,61.47826086956522,12.059627329192548,39.424430641821935,11.322745342581037,4.669851759834368,2949,136,491,72,35,980,330,690,0.125,0.794,0.081,-0.9818,5,2,0,0,0,2,78.0,0,4,5,14,15,21,2,4,37,0,53,13,4,14,8,100,87,47,2,13,16,0,1,0,0,3,8,1,4,4,23,35,0,5,12,0,10,12,17,10,0,3,20,7,71,11,101,57,13,95,0,1,5,2,45,28,1,9,50,356,94,23,0.05474948619544572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350056426344844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059321045418671725,0.06652661835735788,0.0744630561055649,0.0,0.20941603541791176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04873865027908069,0.1023667579107429,0.0622854444397734,0.0,0.04209897540020032,0.045713534085631016,0.0,0.060466506054197934,0.046587780262125504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05624280376278997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113902916247602,0.0,0.0,0.17654444642038647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057201560240110826,0.0,0.2241536762216359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05657085470007345,0.0,0.03616151927738991,0.0,0.04612880344564015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05161294300557557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052568092613589384,0.059975385993367686,0.0,0.04656988498905814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050615017766222466,0.0,0.0,0.06223078941455259,0.045921271448961284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841478982967781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487840475010144,0.07339485305433807,0.0,0.0,0.05437859326855215,0.0,0.06317355626281856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571539137997468,0.0,0.04866385891744897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0446281385658694,0.0,0.0,0.05948547694618636,0.0,0.07734236246901803,0.0,0.0,0.04834479936766424,0.0,0.045975779393724936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309141434437542,0.0,0.055003217714432416,0.0,0.0,0.055154347403833084,0.055174604868427325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311015526219149,0.0,0.04024717191027349,0.08119210057140477,0.04222617895268988,0.0,0.0582266996882353,0.0,0.05364287205494488,0.0,0.0,0.11490075181447156,0.0,0.07419933754774731,0.0,0.0,0.06423672561456313,0.0,0.0,0.10452915921409073,0.11386920037415582,0.047805139559735525,0.057201560240110826,0.0,0.05175596105254291,0.06172181942390161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052387864209422576,0.0,0.05503835553597889,0.061331954547440816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258318064593516,0.054058512590773655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052079298878054056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308847561736907,0.0,0.05711565452111185,0.0,0.0,0.04528934074645213,0.12308143279445954,0.05478902561960389,0.33486123846529064,0.13916718595380928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750393624639088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977410339325638,0.06212906812382689,0.051600742805653,0.0,0.0,0.0440055631302217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727462517218575,0.03508126006668151,0.05379109220870082,0.08692995292446154,0.22347405978988602,0.0,0.05189611122389209,0.05231548029743464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056996145973793724,0.0,0.14185793247656364,0.0,0.0,0.03229266546834827,0.13037278128938445,0.08783347077577651,0.0,0.0,0.10150664442961728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992913900675899,0.0,0.0,0.03889246415374576,0.0,0.06652661835735788,0.14102749630980793
mentalhealth,Planetof12,2019/01/07,"My mind is fucked from rejection We seriously underestimate how being rejected all the time hurts. Sure, the world doesn't owe you sex and for a second I don't think otherwise.

The thing is, constant rejection does fuck you up. We never learn how to deal with this. The first one is okay, but when it happens all the time you can't help but learn to hate yourself. It's a constant reminder you're not good enough. It's a constant downward curve, no ups or downs. The pain is monotonous and boring.

I wish they put effort into helping guys become attractive so they won't end up this way.",4.085584541062804,5.760977713043481,4.7846376811594205,83.51772946859906,71.86956521739131,7.893719806763285,26.690821256038646,8.515128840125781,1.7960531400966189,467,16,92,8,9,150,80,115,0.28,0.622,0.098,-0.9703,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,3,2,2,4,14,3,0,9,1,9,4,0,2,4,21,16,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,7,10,0,3,0,0,10,4,10,14,3,18,0,4,0,3,11,7,2,1,9,62,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18613506542710492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5463834923228782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375349063875678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748722279758256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492731081452896,0.17414301615885042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335686241902987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116181257460244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136022441890098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687740133788187,0.14903606410645204,0.0,0.0,0.16639467126575574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225932614049783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804215593288496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017358515016082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998555886544233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142045361172224,0.0,0.17933447053518167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694254981345736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884343688733146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196800681428262,0.10799123455097842,0.0,0.0,0.1965497049744112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337762438457087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380838926881155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RoRa555,2019/01/07,"I wanna start a fight I don't know what it is, but I wanna start a fight with my friends.  
All my pain just transforms into anger and I just feel like they don't care enough and don't like me anyway. I want to push them away so their carelessness just doesn't hurt that much.  
I fell so bad for it, because it's not fair.",0.3241428571428564,2.1559379857142846,1.4585714285714282,102.41642857142858,83.42857142857143,4.571428571428573,15.714285714285715,5.288315135182226,-1.1284285714285716,249,4,63,1,7,78,48,70,0.337,0.488,0.175,-0.9483,0,0,0,0,2,0,6.0,0,0,3,0,7,11,3,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,1,15,11,5,0,3,5,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,0,1,12,4,7,11,3,6,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,44,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729444761555449,0.0,0.24256439804128066,0.17709269797791127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961951400623262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001753330053141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468909982460446,0.20754098613189395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22444793702548613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109978387159284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15965714783229942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838578224108857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21355887753049602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091239924495472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112501038799545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713508070893273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MLKJrWetDream,2019/01/07,"Going back on meds after an unsuccessful taper Hi guys, I just found this sub. I’m really happy it exists. I needed to ask for advice since I’m currently not on health care and can’t ask my previous psychiatrist. But I’m in the process of renewing it! Hopefully I’ll be covered again by February.

I’m 24, F and I take 20mg Prozac and a quarter of a 0.5mg Klonopin pill every day (I was really paranoid about becoming dependent on a high dose so I insisted on cutting the pill and 0.125mg was still very effective.) I take them for generalized anxiety and panic disorder. I had been in a good place for almost two years. For the last 6 months, I was tapering super slowly and in mid November I quit completely. For about a month I was mostly fine, with some manageable anxiety here or there, and I thought it was all part of the process. But 3 weeks ago I walked into an Urban Outfitter and the room felt distorted. I felt dizzy, my body went cold, my hands were clammy. I turned around and walked out immediately. I was supposed to take the railroad to my boyfriend’s but as I started walking through the streets, I felt too nervous. The area gets extremely congested, and suddenly I couldn’t make myself walk through the crowd. I took the subway home, trying to calm myself the entire way but I had all these racing, irrational thoughts.

Since then, I’ve been nervous about going outside, being in the busy part of my city, taking public transportation, etc. I went back on my medication, which used to be so effective, and it’s been 3 weeks but I still feel...off when I go outside. These are all symptoms I dealt with initially that I was able to fix with my medication and CBT, so I’m trying to get my health insurance back so I can go back to therapy. I really regret tapering, it was dumb and unnecessary especially without my psychiatrist’s supervision. I heard that if you unsuccessfully taper and you go back on your medication, you would need a higher dose to get the same benefits as before. Is this true?",4.658057234269464,6.2042753247422695,5.898549591183791,76.60293814432991,70.23711340206185,9.88780661215784,29.874155705652328,10.165852483727232,3.1758093494489863,1598,64,299,44,29,535,211,388,0.1,0.8290000000000001,0.071,-0.7240000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,4,1,4,21,15,2,3,21,0,23,14,2,5,4,56,60,29,0,7,10,0,4,0,0,1,12,1,2,1,12,20,0,0,8,0,0,13,4,6,0,2,24,6,44,9,44,31,9,55,0,1,0,0,12,19,1,7,22,195,56,2,0.08839866771333413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638215500173707,0.07836008525746754,0.0,0.08851849655380879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524947768581402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869355587076259,0.16528164273797,0.0,0.0,0.33986559473718897,0.0,0.0,0.09762938335877902,0.07522075535452304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819099177638717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012833319611203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926843212423966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570098276357832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131253170089057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098587881632873,0.0,0.0,0.07447969015175976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04469702247863763,0.0,0.2546297513012468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692457642451456,0.0,0.0,0.1385539660792705,0.0,0.2511950000479233,0.07414460843156226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752857905494058,0.0,0.09410202554739107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792730014242534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339804586277888,0.08867107130328095,0.08779982299569332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07205671259937937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900679712555487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819099177638717,0.2671570731289969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111794639259864,0.0,0.0,0.1310929840279716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371679000462912,0.0,0.1914542854925164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235779306309627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940228643202188,0.0,0.0,0.16989135034324487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624858283819345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256903199294367,0.0,0.14119058045016564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188006299950116,0.26585918708196404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109158055048018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035733587476992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821417243831952,0.12003378547281608,0.0961523661556635,0.08635265352713152,0.0,0.0,0.0763480664806645,0.0,0.072938158720915,0.0,0.07016674781155087,0.14181615822839594,0.0,0.0,0.16389290119723007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521316116184043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279587726187137,0.0,0.0,0.056925843743220336
mentalhealth,weemadrach,2019/01/07,"Mental Strain and Panic Hi there. I am a 28 year old female with anxiety, and have recently been diagnosed with High Functioning ASD. The hardest part of dealing with this on a day to day basis is work.

I work part time Mon-Fri, 4 hours a day in the afternoon. I feel like this is all I can work as full time hours would be too taxing for me. Hell, some days I feel 4 hours is too much!

I love my job. Nice quiet office job, get on with my colleagues (although they don't understand mental health as well as I would hope) and it's good pay. However, whenever I get ready for work in the morning I get rising panic. So much so that I want to just scurry back to bed and hide and never go out again. 

I know these are extreme feelings but I am struggling to cope. My boss knows of my issues and is supportive but I still feel like I am letting people down when I ring in sick because I ""can't cope"". Sometimes I go in because I don't have the courage to phone in sick, and I would never just not turn up or not give notice.

I need support. I want to live a normal life. I want to be able to do a 20hr a week job without panicking every day. I have no idea where to turn. I can't ring the support lines because of my phone anxiety and there seems to be very little online chat options.


This is more of a vent than anything. Thanks for reading if you have.",1.6637234042553182,3.365019741134752,3.1616822695035482,92.48580000000004,78.53900709219856,6.072283687943263,22.27290780141844,6.918507183188421,0.5013706099290784,1045,31,232,11,25,343,153,282,0.116,0.755,0.13,0.4466,4,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,1,4,14,17,1,4,12,0,27,6,0,1,3,46,53,19,0,10,9,0,4,2,0,3,5,3,1,0,6,13,0,0,9,2,2,3,10,5,1,0,1,7,32,12,36,45,8,38,1,0,0,1,9,14,1,6,23,153,38,11,0.08767309778819647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341393596722978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214748924762189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741520046176558,0.0,0.16033411997823432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827094752948585,0.09038711410682536,0.0,0.08898634875080927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386836619625703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732061009420436,0.12526735715560164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741672506200012,0.08410402425767033,0.09965328380072687,0.07353603480278872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319240316997067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263144140031776,0.0,0.0870791683450523,0.2590210227621025,0.0,0.0,0.0989722557967334,0.0,0.09150793590496736,0.26100606412160604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636568338960907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896516825225408,0.061926101769338736,0.0856652940801734,0.08787147653298527,0.07741695159258946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912839374012137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17670772327566128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889962934049545,0.06500849110815936,0.13523779577858466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590102107120984,0.0,0.09981640292524126,0.09199816792623554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573098006050755,0.0,0.18988284244721432,0.0,0.06078148693382957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769682337358456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656660710451741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981429545510388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671093550783196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001584914561101,0.0,0.0,0.0916549576785964,0.0,0.0,0.29847117719049404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071760919119869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022457767373466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19072630885952535,0.0,0.09127078675537252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233948754484669,0.15513559382134567,0.0,0.07032607068595577,0.0,0.07882864402735093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451373764603089,0.0,0.25530823748544834,0.0,0.0,0.1868413596140152,0.0,0.0,0.05645860050017613
mentalhealth,ExpensiveAnybody,2019/01/07,"Is this a mental health issue or just stupidity? I can't deal with abstraction, hence I always sucked at most of math, and would get a 4 (worst passing grade), but when we 

started learning something that wasn't abstract such as statistics, I would get a 1 (best passing grade) despite the class average actually decreasing. 

​

And although I do ""well enough"" in mensa IQ tests they still give me a headache, specifically the 

pattern based tests even at the very beginning of the test, things that are dead obvious. Like

""1,2,1,2,1,2,x"" and the possibilities are x=1 or x=921. Like I understand that whoever made that 

question thinks the answer is ""1"" but I utterly fail to understand why. 

Just because they repeated like that before doesn't mean that X necessarily has to also be ""1"". Or with

the pictures where you're supposed to choose whichever you think comes next, it frustrated me endlessly

because ""which one should come next"" is not a real question to me

although dumb, at least ""which one should come next from an aesthethic point of view"" makes sense as question

So what I end up doing is asking myself ""which one do they think is the one that should come next"". But

inevitably I fail. 

​

And now I am dealing with philosophy and stuff like "" If it is true that if P then Q,  then P is a sufficient condition for Q""

and I again I am endlessly frustrated. That's the very first question after a couple non-abstract ones related to 

sufficient and necessary conditions. And I fully understand sufficient and necessary conditions and got through the

non-abstract ones like a breeze. Yet I can't get through this one (even though I know it's simple) even after watching

2 videos about it, and couple of other internet explanations as well as the one provided by my professor. 

I just can't answer the question without first understanding fully what P and Q are and what the question even is here,

I can't even move with it even after seeing the correct answer. 

​

​

It am not being obtuse or anything, I seriously can not understand abstraction like that. It's like something

is missing in me that other people have or something is broken. I know I am not terribly stupid as I got

to a university and do well on many  tests.  But this just throws me off so much.  Just every time 

there's a question but it's not a complete question which dictates what I am supposed to choose based

on and is directly related to reality I find it nigh impossible to answer. This is a problem to a certain degree on most test, If I don't just get stuck on questions like that, I'll follow a completely different logic stream and end up at an incorrect answer, which I nevertheless can justify as being correct even after seeing the actual correct answer. It doesn't seem like I am able to pick up on the ""obvious"" things.",6.661912887292324,7.728842083969472,6.83700044903458,73.49473057925461,65.18320610687022,10.2105074090705,34.877413560844175,10.261626798366184,3.7686409519532997,2268,102,387,53,34,729,228,524,0.08800000000000001,0.812,0.1,0.408,1,0,3,0,0,0,85.0,1,1,3,5,30,28,6,0,32,0,45,1,0,3,7,101,79,44,1,9,25,0,0,9,0,5,1,0,0,0,40,25,0,0,32,1,0,9,14,13,3,10,5,4,37,15,51,66,7,49,0,3,4,0,18,17,2,20,32,289,77,13,0.05108592944085858,0.0,0.09970499580072374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040853399317016655,0.04250758570327648,0.2214063328227776,0.2482999836170604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042039367126540925,0.0,0.047758447933641736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228301684938655,0.0,0.04347036329767682,0.0,0.05361153119679875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602401902388254,0.10712525013651833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130512185128055,0.0,0.0,0.10533470015578196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337392317987457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049394075481347,0.05278542124213423,0.0,0.2361924221496823,0.0,0.04304209887199329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669161400929925,0.08690733097027031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676115855547072,0.049006278520000585,0.0,0.0,0.08171616912464601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054301954109874304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053320437795105965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056150981616443656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22462204207351447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833874164303907,0.03410025459051637,0.051793114199347484,0.0,0.055647553514495,0.0,0.0,0.0514826013375482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429625826956765,0.0375540361614091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21732186207034665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276937183226971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0354165511559023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048292715753266185,0.05759170964262201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488823351694297,0.0,0.0,0.5150513928415688,0.0,0.0,0.05814697183697999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141774329356585,0.04650671150963049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179853329488102,0.0,0.0,0.036158883796075535,0.0,0.04079728924185492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584811670082479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787844308315877,0.0982014024788408,0.050191666298212576,0.0,0.02978861627912667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26591127095000106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430248388009941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377971572224509,0.0,0.04609710541235092,0.0,0.0,0.04924501297534432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257995709573077,0.0,0.2482999836170604,0.0
mentalhealth,LivingTorch,2019/01/07,"Possible Schizophrenia Hey Reddit, I come bearing some... Troubling news... To say the least. Within recent time, across the last year and a half really, I have felt my mind degrading and failing me more and more, and may have found the reason why. I may possibly have schizophrenia, and pretty moderate at that. I'd rather not get into the details of it, but can if required, but have a possible solution. I can visit my school psychologist about it, and may be able to be evaluated for it. Does this sound like an overall good idea? I'd rather find out sooner than later, and possibly get some form of medication to help out, cause it's almost impossible for me to compel myself to do work, and midterms are approaching at my high school.",6.224395782643956,7.2770617883211735,6.453236009732361,75.90853203568535,66.15328467153284,9.884509326845095,30.55068937550689,9.994966539143718,3.0120533657745336,583,21,104,13,9,187,90,137,0.048,0.8420000000000001,0.11,0.872,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,7,0,13,1,0,3,0,34,18,11,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,3,1,2,0,0,6,12,0,1,5,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,2,3,10,2,18,11,6,16,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,7,6,75,16,6,0.14786266685610114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806310213841012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518956895073522,0.0,0.12737059484124624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293956161947024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14197134814445836,0.0,0.1351437987484064,0.0,0.0,0.1621237822328055,0.0,0.0,0.15450428125159366,0.0,0.0,0.12402018966218492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991092287823957,0.15622502575721295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16691895297487086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205278084549766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223823019409692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895608091600734,0.0,0.0,0.14929914261649274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6667717604252487,0.0,0.15042948978093826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472461062799167,0.15202744802046125,0.1459965452353565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758632745685672,0.0,0.29928982573881346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621991012386114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342305827102258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076457825071045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952187095873686
mentalhealth,Kevv1990,2019/01/07,"To the Redditor who posted his yearly Dailyo stats, I thank you! I can't find the thread or username, but a Redditor posted his 2018 VS 2017 Dailyo stats, which made me download the app. 

I want to find and thank this Redditor, as my mood has significantly improved over the week I've been using the app. Just by evaluating the day, I started to realize that my days and mood were not as bad as I felt. Already looking forward to experiencing the result after a month, a quarter and a year!

Can recommend Dailyo to everyone :) ",6.402733333333337,6.766542340000001,7.43,71.47833333333334,65.6,10.266666666666667,33.66666666666667,10.125756701596842,3.4382666666666672,414,17,74,9,6,140,66,100,0.0,0.789,0.211,0.9691,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,11,0,5,0,0,3,0,16,13,8,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,4,3,11,2,11,9,0,12,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,9,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23554492522258666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782199747370606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753123109849389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039584942065696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204943335162402,0.0,0.3901747951823751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17924237112618827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019694437655356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037197599949078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088479282432066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107943234032584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39302806353466796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18435034356103014,0.0,0.0,0.1258970267575613,0.0,0.1712149285308441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749067353060452
mentalhealth,bojaccfan,2019/01/07,"Help I need to know if people ever truly recover from depression. I've been in therapy and while it did help initially, now I feel like it has stagnated. I  literally feel like killing myself and I want to know if there will be a time I will feel happy or normal. I'm in my room crying for no fucking reason, wtf is wrong with me. I don't know what to do. I'm very scared to reach out and I just can't ask for help.",1.0463333333333331,2.606015800000001,3.4819444444444483,90.13625000000003,79.8888888888889,7.166666666666668,20.13888888888889,8.07648339933343,0.7238888888888892,322,8,75,6,8,112,61,90,0.222,0.569,0.209,-0.6606,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,2,1,1,0,10,1,0,1,1,20,22,7,1,5,4,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,3,10,3,11,17,0,8,0,1,0,1,4,4,1,3,6,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18047317278266992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120534021813598,0.0,0.0,0.16627136283625113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462234155019524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928315568636921,0.2758260697056928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784691248048745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20550244823906344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881866223071271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135782431042248,0.0,0.3182812542797041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886263262261214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314213221236818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891453732543138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383469590566388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848478380894485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19327403190534084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22076642004924546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125674372871007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928424600859176,0.11386430348343694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21106692537445007,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaybyme23,2019/01/07,"Should I go to the psychiatrist or not? Hi guys!

I'm not sure that this is the correct topic but here we go:

I'm (F 22) currently in my last year of uni, so all the big and final exams are coming. My uni has a free psychiatrist that students can go to, and I was thinking if I should go or not. I've never been but I think that, in our day, everyone should visit a psychiatrist from time to time at least.

I've kinda always wanted to go and I really think that it would be good for me, due to many reasons like how I'm only with my mom because my dad died a while ago, I'm having trust issues in my romantic relationship because of the previous ones, I'm having a hard time making new friends and tolerating people in general, I might be a little depressed, etc.

As I said, I've never been and I'm afraid that it might get awkward or end up with me crying, which I do not want lol.

Should I go? And if yes, how should I approach this? How do I tell my sorrows to the psychiatrist?

Thanks reddit!
",1.4226315789473674,3.172052220095697,3.8311004784689016,87.18770334928232,79.43062200956938,6.696650717703347,21.52631578947368,7.669130373188453,0.8119511961722488,770,22,168,12,19,268,116,209,0.114,0.741,0.145,0.8973,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,0,0,5,11,0,2,10,2,21,0,0,5,5,46,43,19,1,10,11,2,1,1,1,8,0,1,0,1,10,10,0,0,4,0,1,9,6,4,0,1,4,2,21,8,19,29,3,32,0,2,0,0,11,8,0,8,16,110,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788999451220115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066057110152268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621422176876919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456142562847732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608622405229374,0.08576928221863478,0.0,0.11454640819203972,0.0,0.13802541438336074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779204816592455,0.0,0.1483220033066686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708021365196442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568699020947226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274982164786647,0.0,0.06948319095136216,0.0,0.4534968599869402,0.11154795776939497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168367122806768,0.0,0.0,0.11913532695143808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880981476995136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108406791863445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649735101435983,0.13329361284875946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877365263779254,0.13483371265624236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28216845281715924,0.0,0.15575943004595227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051443210501136,0.1284451678024713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011928796976304,0.10114693289322846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220038523750716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519852206995444,0.1367386342317946,0.0,0.1427843769019796,0.0,0.0,0.12650650229416233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534403551416887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624147210896657,0.12244179993459345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556490353777345,0.0,0.0,0.23264731943020125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688506743233874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447419054569473,0.0,0.0,0.0856429314036654
mentalhealth,DeadSpirit241,2019/01/07,"Does my dad have anger issues/mental issues? I feel like my dad has anger/mental issues. Why do I think that? Well first of all, he's hit me a lot and my brother and very rarely he hits my sister as well. He also hates my mum so whatever my mum does, my dad starts muttering to himself in anger. Last night, my dad was helping my brother do his science fair project but the type of project he chose was 14 years old level and so my 12 year old brother was struggling. My dad and my brother spent a total of 5 hours on understanding how the project works and the physics behind it but my brother obviously didn't understand much. And so in the living,downstairs, my dad started shouting and slapping my brother head and back multiple times (I could hearing the smack from my room which is located on the 2nd floor). I felt really bad for my brother but at that time i was so ill and head a 39°C fever so I couldn't be asked to go downstairs and start arguing with my dad. Even if I did I would get told of for doing bad in my high school UK graduation exams (GCSE). Just to let you know i got 6 As, 2 Bs and 1 C, which is higher than the average national GCSE score I think and the fact that I revised the night before for all my exams I think I did a decent job 😂 but obviously I really need to stop being so lazy. Anyway, it was the next day and I was clearly in pain because of my high fever and sore throat, and my dad comes into my room saying that i've gotta go to college. I tell him that my mum's made an appointment with a doctor to sort out my fever and sore throat but my dad suddenly starts sighing and muttering in anger again and slams my door... like does he think i'm trying skip college? I'm really concerned my dad could have anger issues and he's always been quite physically abusive throughout the years. Like He doesn't hit me or my siblings very often maybe like once every 3 or 4 months and I don't exactly fear him much and I do like him because most of the time he buys me anything i want (yes... i'm quite spoilt xD). But i'm just worried my dad could have anger problems and maybe even being bi-polar? He acts very angry sometimes and then after 30 mins later he can be super nice. He's told me that he would've been nice to me if I had ""Good Grades"" but because recently i've got a Cs and Ds for my college grades he's been quite strict. I gotta admit that I should really start revising and stop being lazy so that i can get into university but I think hitting a child/kicking a child's back is a little too much. I really don't think my dad hitting me left a mental scar for me but back when I was a bit younger I used to flinch whenever my dad raised his arm suddenly if though he wasn't going to hit me. My brother is very clumsy and when he tries to pour a drink into his cup, he often spills the drink everywhere and my dad would get extremely irritated and called him a retard. He would often raise his hand up to act as if he was going to slap him and this resulted in my brother fearing my dad (e.g. he would also start flinching like I did whenever my dad raised his hand). I've had conversations with him before saying that hitting a child isn't normal but he would always answer back saying that if he doesn't act scary we wouldn't listen to him. Many asian parents would beat their child back when my dad was a kid so i guess that's why he acts like that. I don't even know what is right or wrong but I still believe that hitting a child is definitely in the wrong. (And yes my dad is asian lol)",3.6807869742198096,4.339090675712349,4.760499592944367,87.18570461329719,71.68656716417911,7.741318860244234,25.459131614654,7.839951260653429,1.1881440108548174,2776,79,605,34,50,912,288,737,0.141,0.767,0.092,-0.9941,2,0,2,0,3,0,59.0,1,1,1,7,34,30,7,3,31,3,60,17,7,4,8,111,115,68,0,21,21,32,4,7,0,10,8,6,3,5,19,39,2,2,14,2,2,9,10,16,3,1,26,10,95,13,49,61,9,75,0,0,0,0,89,25,0,15,48,347,114,16,0.0,0.07059620454581897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529713218695772,0.09915578829265922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049031796534557914,0.0,0.05570213497363079,0.0,0.0,0.2290785463810634,0.0994987629863098,0.10896387428449993,0.0,0.10140162205959362,0.06712972541807677,0.0,0.0,0.06504928949020675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060840984608911915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132554600545622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271671882171716,0.0,0.0,0.038426156240789856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06098580526805356,0.15642465971482405,0.0,0.0,0.11673746620253715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806218358876068,0.0,0.050201313163430336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409505606771654,0.03012699459880818,0.042566162956791394,0.05720909892685355,0.0,0.0,0.05068133586156578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933890974439885,0.0,0.13544974568824247,0.04997545907707874,0.09530806127606048,0.0,0.06563747807049586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05882595417961065,0.12229885586154783,0.0,0.06715445947466614,0.0,0.03993728134642325,0.1259055868695504,0.0,0.0,0.05867732990982371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865677603495101,0.059127011273499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549060307082942,0.048568161163909884,0.0,0.0,0.06473718877990453,0.060927734315728725,0.0,0.20376497638726954,0.059717897372271074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506554023572844,0.0,0.05637894923212827,0.0,0.06040788934023335,0.11971842108293568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060045728715519914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047558644547258735,0.0,0.13140125453661772,0.044180097495755216,0.0,0.0,0.0633672795993234,0.11182936520635137,0.0583787659306961,0.0,0.0,0.1250448351938999,0.06345403368000074,0.0,0.0,0.06340059610249332,0.0,0.0661599571365746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057012958947432975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901218136103041,0.0,0.0,0.19085222796892864,0.0,0.05883110154627619,0.0,0.0,0.05088362320899798,0.0,0.14214856577426868,0.0,0.060301256106515586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892918785502061,0.0,0.2530392564477854,0.0,0.04758312320085424,0.09962824262360807,0.0,0.06228917018659226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052078236559476535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290705838295496,0.05854007179167735,0.0,0.10423011612289736,0.0,0.0,0.11386836915471785,0.0,0.08090599789599795,0.0,0.0,0.12405617139021807,0.0,0.05146064903074357,0.0,0.19664911817177466,0.03514364325467162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714468584702867,0.0,0.10752892100430787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043377190545808623,0.06050950812285839,0.0,0.2962827645174808,0.13028948496223078,0.0,0.11510864651919005
mentalhealth,jonkthedestroyer,2019/01/07,Help Does puberty supress your emotions im 15 and i havent cried in 4 years and im nit surre if im a sociopath I just feel so numb all the time I feel joy though so idk,-2.8494308943089415,-1.200397853658533,0.3140243902439046,104.98209349593495,100.70731707317074,3.7089430894308943,16.589430894308947,5.46131890053228,-0.9461252032520328,132,4,37,1,6,46,31,41,0.119,0.667,0.214,0.596,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,3,6,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26695950280204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126791502539239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27337855780944875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24576880484165234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16289938700894432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7875495685019778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387779410322301,0.0,0.14171405306745793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565047938938275
mentalhealth,MaxNChloe,2019/01/07,"I wish I could find out what love and sex is. I never will.I'm pretty dead.My closest contact to girls ever are porn/movie actresses and all I can do is to envy them.
In my country (Iran) it's not a common thing to have gf below 20 or more.Even then I never have the chance because there is no reason for girls to be interested in a shy loser like me AND I can never talk to them.",1.182185886402756,2.531307253012052,3.5354905335628253,90.83373493975904,78.87951807228916,5.7067125645438885,19.08605851979346,6.18269132825596,-0.12826884681583506,294,6,67,2,7,102,61,83,0.163,0.696,0.14,0.0083,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,11,2,0,1,5,15,13,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,10,3,10,11,1,11,0,1,0,2,8,5,0,1,7,50,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287518258655287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213327690382495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764749999470411,0.2416866316993622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24420477817944264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053444659689187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24114739108467664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6182150316703363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27182601439219894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27471352414874506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147554059193256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775076797836474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30725274549876425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ukatofox,2019/01/07,"My Misadventures With Rexulti A little background:

My doctors over the years tried me on a few antidepressants. Zoloft made me fat. Abilify made me black out. Effexor shut my emotions off. Welbutrin gave me back a full range of emotions, amplified. Then I was put on Rexulti. (I piggybacked it with Prozac while I was inpatient, but took myself off because my anxiety was out of control.)

My psychiatrist thought it would be good to taper off the Welbutrin, then run some blood tests to figure out exactly what seretonin receptors are misfiring. (or something like that.) In that moment of (for lack of better word) ""detox"", I was hit with an emotionally traumatizing bombshell. I cried from Friday night through to next Friday morning. I didn't eat. I barely slept. I cried from the crack of dawn until I eventually passed out from exhaustion. I've had similar experiences before, but never such raw emotion. I've never dealt with a situation like that without meds. Tuesday morning I had my therapist, who was able to push my psychiatrist appointment to the very next day by the Grace of God. (I was off work at the time dealing with an unrelated Kidney stone.)

Dr. K fudged the bloodwork and threw me on Rexulti. Without exaggeration, after 2 doses, I was in a significantly better place. I woke up by the third dose and didn't feel like crying. I was... Stable. A feeling I'm not all too familiar with. I was exponentially getting more and more stable every morning. By the time I finished the first sample pack, I was more stable than 3ds firmware. (A little bit of r/3dshacks humor.) I didn't bloat. I had a full range of emotions. I wasn't hyper-sensitive. It was great. I ended up going inpatient because (metaphorically) if a car is driving straight and you let go of the steering wheel, it'll eventually hit a bump and swerve off the road. While inpatient, they took me off my antianxiety (which I didn't think was doing anything anyway) and put me on Prozac to piggyback the Rexulti, because, while Rexulti kept me stable, Dr. N over there didn't think it was doing enough. Ended up giving me paranoia-level, out-of-body anxiety and I took myself off. But I was doing great on the Rexulti. Dealt with a different trauma and ended up going up to 2mg. But I was doing absolutely fantastic. 

I felt like what a normal human should feel like. And I was functioning. I had to go a week one time without it, but there were no physical withdrawal symptoms, which is a blessing and a curse. I hated Zoloft because you had to take each dose within like 16 hours, Effexor was 24 hours, amd Welbutrin was 48 hours before the ""brain zaps"" and headache kicked in. Rexulti, I don't *feel* anything, but my emotions began to unravel a little. I had to cold turkey in late-June and haven't been able to go back on anything since. I was doing well without them until about mid-November when everything exploded and I'm not functioning properly anymore.

Anyone else deal with Rexulti before? Is there anything similar that might be cheaper? I know it's an evergreen version of Abilify, but they didn't react to me like the same drug.",4.413743161042579,6.784846334488738,5.448696095422573,76.14914228429677,72.65684575389947,8.615611513236145,30.031229822951712,9.273590166951584,3.042668766778809,2473,108,420,59,51,813,271,577,0.065,0.785,0.151,0.9944,1,0,2,0,0,0,101.0,0,2,3,5,12,19,1,0,35,0,52,20,5,4,4,68,85,30,0,5,15,0,5,7,0,4,15,2,0,1,16,26,2,2,10,0,0,16,18,3,1,3,47,10,59,16,78,29,14,88,1,0,1,0,11,39,0,4,40,296,75,3,0.13009817766161558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952474981676444,0.0,0.06451121690857486,0.04548383537715051,0.06665047865283527,0.2141194302647373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003746814052923,0.0,0.15861328314978596,0.0,0.1660559505097188,0.0,0.0,0.11506126582543215,0.07101675743694333,0.07225487342366216,0.0,0.07261629616048662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295808436004357,0.0,0.0,0.2143601088322395,0.04195128091901909,0.1341255085773146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796245283538921,0.0,0.06658049878423437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754362913248463,0.06656145739674589,0.05434016680137165,0.43902881739998734,0.17284255533486445,0.06721309747973317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054806662884151834,0.0,0.05846192665166906,0.0636304908180563,0.0,0.0,0.13156309527714488,0.09294216411630322,0.06245732633691739,0.0,0.0,0.05533072172914268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03398546411196534,0.06240101334370966,0.1848444811969422,0.05456008947816577,0.0,0.14343370015884496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422250806596587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218074807169766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035749278040772714,0.0,0.0733782055400273,0.0,0.0,0.06651710054010743,0.0,0.22245789332438126,0.1955888280518114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231020413457577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225487342366216,0.0,0.0,0.06900680362721852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033973491088573,0.0,0.13836088787477438,0.061044163321587436,0.0637342958248991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0440789460754063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796245283538921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078460190770844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380927847958051,0.07311790129581068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05007796659289935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761091014647991,0.048908819341777265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552700579065147,0.0,0.0833616591113895,0.0,0.05164171047792975,0.11379194042447816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21681579347221894,0.0441640613817846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05367231077710784,0.0,0.0,0.05217845535952187,0.0,0.058486942940410486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25082000140300226,0.0,0.047356511399736914,0.0,0.0,0.04620900635587087,0.0,0.0,0.04188948048888823
mentalhealth,AnotherFallenBrother,2019/01/07,"I have a compulsion to restart. It's most prominent in video games, as far as I've seen, but also in writing and profiles (Reddit accounts, emails, etc). The 'tick' or 'trigger' to start over is most often naming or progress based. If I refuse to answer to it, I feel a kind of conflict, or cognitive dissonance. 

I have played hundreds, if not thousands of hours in certain video games, but I make little progression in them before I delete the save and start a new one. In Civilization 6, I have 200+ hours, and I've only completed one game. I easily have thousands of hours in RuneScape, but the highest level I reached was 60... And I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I probably have a hundred or more different accounts, the majority in levels 3-40. Here, it's the progress and name that most often drive me to restart. I begin to think about the early stages of the game or where I failed at a certain. Often, also what happens is I feel my progress has become disingenuous, even though it's irrational. I can sometimes push past it long enough to complete something (that one Civ game, or the (relatively) high level character in RuneScape), but *overwhelmingly* more often than not, I'll give in and start over.

In writing, if I make a mistake (in pen), no matter how small, I'll discard the paper. The same goes if I don't feel I've aligned the page up 'correctly' (again irrational) -- I might change my mind how the page should be organized, and instead of sucking it up or working the change in, I'll discard the whole page. If I don't, I'll feel that dissonance.

I'm writing this to see first, if anyone has any insight into this; things that might help manage the problem. Second, to see if anyone else has (or had) a similar issue. Thanks for reading.",5.447996781979081,6.214754171091447,5.874412711182625,80.39123290426393,67.76106194690266,8.759506570126039,32.518235451863774,8.841846274778883,2.6393056047197643,1380,58,263,22,22,444,171,339,0.08199999999999999,0.799,0.119,0.8869,1,0,1,0,0,0,65.0,0,0,1,7,17,11,1,1,22,0,20,0,0,5,3,68,41,34,0,10,21,0,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,14,8,0,2,8,9,2,2,6,5,0,7,3,8,24,6,37,34,13,43,0,2,3,0,16,26,1,24,14,177,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859079998037159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904456173534352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16255002471772287,0.11909766252813715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837368544062155,0.0989083947299066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459248494703681,0.0,0.2437427645471045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144202766395737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710038064606062,0.0,0.0,0.12010300545338275,0.12963402276633973,0.07677287483106257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350899414254696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887040209058387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150429792610006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278723554322797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791063510857603,0.12280986469304556,0.0,0.0,0.3434075544673427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132033202703002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104205387293225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164991495356028,0.0,0.10286532697958252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551770533102195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466163537503805,0.1173653671340338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122615892175134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23629385191495736,0.08840282297371514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109605489053284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125322219443136,0.11122228883042112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626759607438092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243564463974482,0.0,0.0,0.1852503103448548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948426006724171,0.1149605155241351,0.0,0.2468176164301481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701462174465563,0.0,0.0,0.07722212713229576,0.14895885138870696,0.11420141829458025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977350030960005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462129495833444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dawn_eyes_mrk,2019/01/07,"Fear of sleeping. Does anyone else have fear of sleeping ? 
There’s a discomfort in the idea of sleeping even when I’m tired and need to get some sleep. Seems like I’m afraid of not being conscious... 

Any comments ? ",1.9695121951219503,4.684039121951219,1.9982439024390253,95.34126829268291,84.60975609756099,4.255609756097561,22.83414634146341,5.6839178017228535,0.2340887804878049,168,6,33,1,5,50,33,41,0.265,0.6809999999999999,0.053,-0.8738,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,4,2,0,2,5,4,0,0,7,7,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,16,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252579440136574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287924270089741,0.1887280796755503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118903455473976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387009271291552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165811595684935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4145379507078554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962335381286973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20793212065563754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998767443101563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365771984070396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768290849811182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7373063704389435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117034129947102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SeitanSlut,2019/01/07,"Here’s a good night or a good morning to everyone reading this who doesn’t ever get one. I’ve gone to bed way too many times in my life lonely, empty, and wondering how long it would take before anyone noticed my disappearance if I died in my sleep. 

So if you’re going to bed, good night to you. I hope you rest well. It would matter to me if you weren’t here anymore tomorrow. 

And if you just woke up, good morning. I’m glad you’re still here, and you’re gonna make it through this day. :)",1.6026816239316233,3.1793662980769213,3.0993589743589745,93.42341880341878,78.32692307692307,6.160683760683763,21.170940170940174,6.937597516519254,0.2815119658119656,381,10,88,4,9,125,67,104,0.071,0.7170000000000001,0.212,0.93,1,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,4,0,0,10,8,0,0,2,0,4,2,1,2,1,17,14,10,1,7,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,1,1,3,0,10,7,9,8,1,15,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,7,8,51,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891456615432335,0.1190937435059426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493225716826005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984419075672952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676829693123491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540668292540165,0.0,0.16275084585888602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898669411494084,0.0,0.0967984386084408,0.5714351261800761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916908725211813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030411305594467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073042145930393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369186942313834,0.1726807042140837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31967303851460976,0.0,0.0,0.19391376946484287,0.0,0.0,0.1154152162936086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036900842039854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044592179366774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360201012280108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806163634991627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931666238187926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135194403333955,0.0,0.0,0.15314075700157714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18470793758546986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419850263276247,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aibuxx,2019/01/07,"Question about psychiatrist? My psychiatrist only prescribes medication, and doesn't do talk therapy per usual. 2 Months ago he prescribed me medication for OCD, but I've been afraid to take it. Last month I went to the appointment, and told him that, and we talked for about 10-15 minutes, and then I left. 

I have another appointment with him this week, and still haven't started the medication. Should I still follow through with the appointment? Is it a waste of his time, or will he like to know the update on my condition? (I've had a stuck thought obsession for 3 months and I kind of went to him in a crisis) I'm kind of unsure about how the whole psychiatrist thing works. I want to beat the obsession without medication and only want to use that as a last resort kind of thing.",4.981781818181815,6.489642293333336,5.540181818181819,79.63009090909092,69.4,9.454545454545457,28.96969696969697,9.800150414767053,2.6909333333333327,624,23,121,15,11,201,89,150,0.109,0.8490000000000001,0.042,-0.894,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,6,7,0,3,10,0,9,4,0,2,0,21,22,12,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,7,0,14,4,23,13,1,20,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,2,15,77,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118059520456774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322574948911941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39403255075019605,0.06931732615249571,0.2056243131176944,0.0,0.0,0.13703977726389555,0.0,0.0,0.061620370663454785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5082477183595228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30202544373160506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918539257792099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412936034444874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892749180601593,0.0,0.2014539317465611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483348385891448,0.20275579450067752,0.0,0.0,0.1442397665866705,0.0,0.16758931161912374,0.0,0.0,0.10013251971658664,0.07354696822066156,0.0,0.0,0.12052188425588115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893515788899537,0.13891352725889064,0.0,0.14878857530362796,0.0,0.10117326017505326,0.0,0.0,0.23384611938178296,0.0,0.14081878077529875,0.0,0.12158407662800975,0.0,0.09182358151110208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IDontClare,2019/01/07,"Why do I get angry over nothing? I deserve to be alone, like really my brain is dumb I've been alone and isolated for a while now (years) and recently started being semi-social again and it's starting to come back to me. Being around others makes me so irritable, the stupidest thing like someone laughing too loudly or talking about something I'm not interested in can make feel like I'm going to explode!! And I need to just be alone and decompress. 

I've also been stupidly depressed so I thought making friends would help but I forgot what it's like and I hate myself for how extreme I feel over silly non-issue situations. Why is my brain so stupid?

I thought I was over this anger but I guess not. I'm definitely better and keeping it in and not exploding on people or breaking things like I might have in the past (7+yrs ago). I remember destroying my room because I couldn't find my phone before. 

On one hand it's good I can control my anger now and not lash out, but I still feel it building up over time and just want to flea the situation so I can decompress. I see a therapist who helps but haven't really talked about this anger because I forgot I even had it since I'm mostly home alone all the time. I've even been in therapy for over a year and my brain is just too much shit, every session something new to work on, I just really hate myself and wish I could just stop existing but I can't even do that. I might see a psychiatrist this year but also feel like medication sucks and never works anyway 😓",3.5729057017543866,5.170004338815794,4.759868421052634,83.49741228070178,73.04605263157895,7.82982456140351,26.153508771929822,8.472884824447931,1.7579653508771935,1205,41,239,21,24,397,156,304,0.236,0.65,0.114,-0.9931,0,4,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,26,24,11,0,8,0,25,6,5,5,2,62,55,29,0,6,17,0,5,6,1,3,1,1,2,0,15,16,0,5,8,0,0,2,8,12,0,1,9,8,33,12,27,37,3,38,0,1,2,0,7,16,3,6,25,162,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769651088402778,0.0,0.0,0.3631162121999639,0.0,0.14018748087371005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780271575780717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739750421108204,0.0,0.1068613552274644,0.0,0.07458376567489164,0.0,0.0,0.07751937641112883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29353944380486113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075502786220857,0.0,0.0,0.0983070221445631,0.06998145985102472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549288883797517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367616132758046,0.0,0.07384897601248779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727406406384189,0.12523447491925868,0.0,0.0,0.0801105887798774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771823740452487,0.0,0.045793551219910834,0.0,0.04981356258383322,0.07351673185482993,0.0,0.0,0.09655644918625912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173072623219202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750000732269507,0.0,0.08792018071416306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148391539679984,0.0,0.07790742185855341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569284217342009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175521334874775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829823828424181,0.0,0.1859657756042112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443289682280233,0.06499142661013325,0.06760114816875751,0.08465299722388757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410261944883768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059393965260375436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367192290716678,0.06076553200938625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845266448696436,0.0,0.08654388367760994,0.0,0.09929045870892757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969153756555616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997155156951614,0.0725050551624972,0.1970447334219713,0.0,0.0,0.07426563166286834,0.13495463358133342,0.0,0.0,0.12407836105001042,0.0,0.06999747023388464,0.07327939486089731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089963464365174,0.0,0.0,0.1002355097332598,0.10176850305077943,0.1164616421220787,0.0,0.0,0.13916875203256565,0.102218937584098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516982904263202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818113526321972,0.0,0.100793270834583,0.0,0.0,0.12762060998994165,0.0,0.0,0.06226410480690616,0.0,0.0,0.16933134095420424
mentalhealth,iisharkwolf,2019/01/07,"School qwq School starts back up tomorrow. I have this tight feeling in my chest and I nearly cried earlier even tho I have no reason for it. I'm fourteen and I have social anxiety. Any tips for sleeping, and not crying 😅?",0.4458116883116894,2.877899750000001,2.147792207792208,90.85954545454548,96.95454545454544,5.241558441558444,19.92207792207792,6.868970318607317,0.7371077922077927,175,6,34,3,7,57,34,44,0.146,0.763,0.091,-0.3498,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,1,0,7,6,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,5,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,23,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764512490375979,0.0,0.1984969349934099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995195250121705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.570040111180278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713801602380316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119787399033633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26678253464963764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5252031744603297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596614350726216,0.26450111358000744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836570652783615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daniel__72,2019/01/07,"Feeling emotions for no reason? Some days I feel weirdly confident, other days I feel fear for no reason. I might suddenly feel happy even when something sad happens and vice versa. What is wrong with me?",3.944459459459459,6.903698513513517,4.282364864864864,80.83543918918923,77.37837837837839,5.8621621621621625,28.16891891891892,7.1686216300943375,1.9618702702702708,163,7,25,2,4,51,29,37,0.329,0.502,0.16899999999999998,-0.7882,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,10,7,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,4,1,3,6,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058987158837969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26677443560043235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664273976962928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668722913660664,0.4796633263792754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20972087113146606,0.2524625136644278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515905611745152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4876824375956165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182578282942186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25929854845070777,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrumpyCatPerson,2019/01/07,"How do I deal with agitation and frustration associated with my depression I can’t sit still. Every little thing is making me feel angry and want to throw things, break things and bite, scratch and punch myself. I’m fighting the urges through sheer force of will but the restlessness and feeling agitated is getting worse and it’s only 6am in the morning.

Side note: I have no rescue meds to calm me down except for propranolol and that doesn’t work for this. Has anyone please got any techniques I can use. I can’t concentrate for very long either. ",4.410566239316243,6.6846620865384665,4.6878205128205135,82.03495726495727,72.36538461538461,7.699145299145299,25.97863247863248,8.515128840125781,1.8693965811965807,443,15,81,8,9,139,81,104,0.203,0.682,0.114,-0.8519,0,0,0,0,2,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,2,1,3,0,10,0,0,3,0,18,18,9,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,3,9,1,12,16,1,9,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,52,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765828431024825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16210702829493812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239015547322758,0.1996823556731265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19533412644826392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344492524851572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112616596054784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542260868983174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23236331046888015,0.0,0.20516997767554507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547541503938153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25752056117107897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632379878180315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544893021594286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514670669789846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4620700453205964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023422280123726,0.0,0.19129122972268606,0.1367444877988053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16878135429368998,0.0,0.2362634691420777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bigziggs,2019/01/07,"The first time I’ve actually sought help for myself. I just turned 19 a handful of days ago. The years leading up to now I’ve coped with my trauma and issues in some weird ways, I’ve had awful boughs of depression, and anxiety manifested after I had some pretty bad stuff happen to me at a young age. Up until now it was bad, yes, but bearable. Recently though it has been tremendously harder and I have been struggling very hard with feelings of self purpose and worth, anxiety has skyrocketed off this planet, depressive episodes, spiking bipolar feelings, intrusive thoughts, and at some point something snapped and I realized things had gotten very very bad without even realizing it. Which I realize sounds a bit silly.

Now that I’m on my company’s insurance, I am actively reaching out and looking into getting professional help, which still freaks me out a lot inside because previously it was always my dad sending me to therapy for one or two sessions and then stopping because he saw no progress and felt like he was wasting money. Which has always been a personal struggle because I don’t like being a financial inconvenience. I have also been struggling with the thought of being on medication for these struggles because one of the sources of my trauma is substance abuse of a parent. Either that, or that I will feel no difference and still feel miserable as I do now. Every time I’ve ever looked into getting medication I haven’t felt anything and then felt too bad to ask my Dad to take me back because it would be costly. 

I guess this kind of turned out to be a vent but I was wondering if anyone else could give me some hope that medication would actually help at all? I admit I have issues that I need to resolve with therapy but I do feel like some of it truly is beyond that and I should be medicated. 
All in all, I hope to better myself in 2019 and to start the road to mental recovery now that I have resources to pave myself that road. ",8.305247510668561,7.645378705405406,8.365277382645804,69.77245376955905,61.94594594594594,11.248933143669989,38.12233285917496,10.5429385540328,4.078189189189189,1571,69,271,32,19,513,190,370,0.179,0.688,0.133,-0.9541,1,0,1,0,1,0,27.0,0,0,0,5,15,24,0,5,13,2,35,6,1,1,4,67,65,25,0,8,9,3,10,3,0,4,5,1,0,2,22,22,0,1,16,0,3,2,5,15,0,4,18,14,33,9,48,37,11,47,0,3,3,0,14,20,0,13,27,202,55,3,0.0,0.09299985900687062,0.15319320197239608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957817825071339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627698040862387,0.13062280600294054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200919094947342,0.0,0.0,0.0548832391102988,0.08042404793675498,0.06459200170751267,0.0,0.07337916722657778,0.0,0.0,0.060355291483441376,0.26214924693519875,0.23923913498597635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941955215811953,0.0856926344696051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626692554447861,0.0,0.0,0.050620669135973885,0.0,0.13520961537308174,0.0,0.0,0.08200714646331017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556976435965725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518430440580406,0.07100025895560029,0.06613266359282316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19843887274219252,0.05607450398945743,0.2260930953017896,0.0,0.0,0.06676502114708405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201737332241335,0.07529641481791678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646748427050106,0.0,0.06940997315259728,0.0,0.07031316821145729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157834046103335,0.0,0.0,0.1559199869347581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384993612011076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817370529059723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504127612486922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182656062805095,0.0,0.0,0.06673085766397273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162886205654777,0.0791011973013906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05820061948724652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063760484192505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715577169036975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853594666155942,0.0,0.0,0.07420005084772212,0.0,0.0,0.07985430256118628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750110907834362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188398753459543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042676462716182,0.0,0.0,0.05555684691607388,0.0,0.12536718587792922,0.0656225966870806,0.0,0.3282263732038626,0.08985424608995285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059016008748586174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952425620969722,0.0,0.052146414316055024,0.0,0.07711772124158067,0.12462732400306226,0.09153831206707362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707529145642185,0.07667500998488612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194291680212753,0.0,0.06230307777823262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566322187047751,0.0851209274781731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151653873730387,0.0,0.0,0.0505460974171233
mentalhealth,sltvenom,2019/01/07,"Christmas season is the worst Not sure how to explain this. If things don’t make much sense, I’m writing this at 5.33 am, sleep deprived. 

Every year around Christmas time I start feeling different and then get a major personality change that doesn’t seem to change again until the next Christmas time. I know this sounds crazy, but I’m wondering if this is like a common thing? Or at least a recognised thing?

Maybe it’s because I find Christmas time stressful and I just react differently to it, I’m not sure. This Christmas I’ve changed really bad though, it’s like the side I’ve hidden from everybody has just surfaced and got 100x more extreme. ",5.43040650406504,7.035590739837402,4.993658536585368,83.60235772357723,68.4308943089431,7.417886178861789,29.92682926829269,7.793537801064563,1.910717073170732,523,20,96,6,9,159,81,123,0.162,0.7759999999999999,0.062,-0.9095,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,1,6,0,6,1,1,3,2,24,18,11,0,2,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,12,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,2,4,4,8,17,5,16,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,5,13,55,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384319432576485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983973336177534,0.09479407889799332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4935093163897247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249381382564353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310192191323548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862773020080893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212826437021756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124466507315746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437112675475274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546118750831444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15194325413002807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380043830927263,0.0,0.15622513692999246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143136747993854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538076334012847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578050128724453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996201425917064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156542515565534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556167690792671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006686113864173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812983996602688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931222370427697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30993077156126597,0.0,0.15278234792640355,0.0,0.2720277132998313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863795958193234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013977744120556
mentalhealth,Gbisswurm89,2019/01/07,Just want to talk... I've been depressed a lot lately after losing my uncle to ALS this past year and stuff not going right. Just want to talk to people to just forget for a bit.,2.303693693693696,3.730482432432435,3.5713513513513497,91.4247747747748,76.02702702702703,4.933333333333334,15.036036036036036,3.1291,-1.025299099099099,138,1,29,0,3,45,28,37,0.198,0.736,0.066,-0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,4,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,7,3,2,6,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990714302599925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359440417768579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568636294418572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30901614876253963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30646868648871434,0.0,0.23289391401683535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615066396032235,0.1899154402977828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23394318507070924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135956556754857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4403650435745789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32315371113481395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640831959673145
mentalhealth,Cloudkidpleb,2019/01/07,"I am so sad because im going back to school tomorrow I want to stay inside the house and spend time with the family and it makes me depressed thinking I have to go out the house away from my family. 
When I get on the bus i immediately want to get off and go back inside. I need advice or help from anybody please help me. Thanks.",1.9313043478260887,3.6119188695652227,3.7732608695652203,88.49293478260874,77.69565217391305,6.918840579710146,20.195652173913047,7.793537801064563,0.5960608695652176,258,6,57,4,6,87,45,69,0.091,0.731,0.179,0.5434,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,11,13,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,1,11,13,0,13,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,35,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18301324864923865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17596091693494606,0.28802201841668684,0.0,0.11416751845499358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130874929078545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531122522478435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956979150373037,0.0,0.3193160416219644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510670808155345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322047036159115,0.0,0.0,0.2023005066623002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501454303978865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886984459695045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20558326698840598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954295121954626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19962145180555046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724273499283272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000500293598886,0.0,0.0,0.10920769644219357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22093171151629154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hazelpiper98,2019/01/07,"[Need Advice] I may be regressing instead of progressing? I suppose I'll start off with I grew up pretty normal for a middle-class family. My family was very nuclear and conservative so I feel that I grew up a little more sheltered than some (but I was public schooled my whole life). My life changed when I experienced a lot of deaths in my family and a few classmates when I was fifteen. One of those deaths was my mother. Ever since then, I have stepped up and helped my dad and sister, almost in an adult way. I worked just under full time while in junior year of high school and even graduated early that year. 

I'm now 20 and have been in and out of college due to panic attacks and an injury (unrelated to mental health). While being on my own at college and being independent and doing what I want, sometimes there is a part of me that wants to move back home and just live at my dad's house and be taken care of. I've talked to my therapist about this and she suggested that since I felt that I had to grow up so fast, I am now subconsciously mourning the ""normal childhood"" I missed out after my mom passed away. I was just wondering if any of you had any other third-party insight on my situation?

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TL;DR My mom passed away when I was 15 prompting me to step up and help with adult duties in my family. Now that I'm 20, I love my independence but a part of me just wants to live at home and be taken care of. My therapist says this is me subconsciously mourning the fact that I grew up too fast. Could this be caused by anything else?",5.2944108658743625,5.563775361290325,6.075093378607812,80.56737691001699,67.96774193548387,9.106960950764003,27.606112054329373,8.99025400887824,1.9602903225806447,1222,35,247,20,19,402,162,310,0.046,0.905,0.05,0.3049,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,2,19,8,1,1,10,0,23,4,0,3,2,48,39,26,4,8,7,6,2,0,0,1,3,1,2,2,13,19,0,2,4,0,0,9,0,5,0,1,12,4,40,3,46,19,9,56,0,3,0,1,17,25,0,6,21,181,53,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974140537055614,0.0,0.0,0.0998232282704093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080120104122442,0.12113194809686538,0.1355826475180466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203480906629165,0.0,0.0,0.11340960068856965,0.1873204955257972,0.07665399247734749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032773155562566,0.10240713498498397,0.10545678744259752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959283299532319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832766125459863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658430472549057,0.09017359012118198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759082597401483,0.0,0.05040529665097071,0.0,0.09571620538136452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596378446709996,0.0,0.0,0.1336376588841277,0.10532594672462466,0.19999057680127968,0.0,0.0,0.11502667845247225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082530072340385,0.0,0.0999136612365784,0.17605283035131414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475125437484593,0.08997239876101673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046215391990096,0.0,0.0,0.2335069865001209,0.0,0.1059526697143345,0.0,0.07391746007185353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534633666849252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755123382625275,0.0,0.0,0.1169625017050825,0.0,0.21590498695885546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141863219214764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927597515978227,0.0,0.2017793505758666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492604638858024,0.11205359671868356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859407600353873,0.0,0.0705597474703315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012551548058347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314911259281517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058128930472513884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225311941663291,0.17639586562521106,0.0791277705391993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112981991637274,0.0,0.0,0.10810748774805988,0.07257412119805874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113194809686538,0.12839173089684894
mentalhealth,notyourwhoree,2019/01/08,"Monster inside me I’m epileptic (might be the reason why this had happened idk) so I woke up in the am to drink my pills. Went back to bed on my phone as always half asleep when suddenly I start hearing someone or something ACTUALLY SCREAMING INSIDE MY FUXKING BODY LOLLLLLLL...... literally thought I was in a movie when a scary vision of some hideous fucking monster appeared mouth as big as her head!!! I felt myself shrinking in a dark corner of a dark room almost idk like it was going to take me hostage? My memory is fading away already and only happened two days ago lol....I thought to myself could this be a dream?? So I made sure my eyes were wide open which they def were, yet I still felt this thing or person actually inside me.... how tf is that possible??? Someone tell me what this is or if you’ve experienced something like this? Google scary aff",1.9631818181818201,4.666794939393941,3.217803030303031,86.68670454545456,84.45454545454547,5.239393939393938,24.613636363636363,6.742157984588678,1.0480363636363634,675,27,127,8,20,218,111,165,0.065,0.857,0.078,-0.5653,0,0,3,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,0,8,5,1,0,7,0,13,8,5,3,1,19,29,13,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,1,1,2,2,1,10,2,1,0,5,2,0,3,0,2,0,2,12,6,19,3,15,13,1,24,0,0,1,1,6,11,1,8,12,80,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.2963316336493135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345896225283693,0.0,0.1520374945842793,0.0,0.16755003342759614,0.0,0.12633611999859976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265086051354536,0.11674918922245267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865076748510505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122524111014985,0.0,0.0,0.09791887230209777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873724260016866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29156444465763226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036594075062436,0.0,0.0,0.08628944219848678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685285048036317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582310620347134,0.0,0.17112533714303846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835457819391146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436668059067296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106941777041556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547483375777913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325735657746854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116740506327988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561082536516472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572929779885684,0.2337748888013447,0.0,0.0,0.10746724394475098,0.0,0.12125297506320815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430995607035042,0.0,0.1141585270022748,0.0,0.132707579790994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087022102987928,0.0,0.0,0.2410747868944233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483174884809371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074948766797324,0.1370044744863968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LiquifiedBakedGood,2019/01/08,"Question about Nature Made SAM-E supplement Have any of you used this supplement before?

To make a long story short I’m 18, mom won’t let me see a therapist for various reasons* and insists I try this for a few weeks to see if it makes me more motivated and improves my self esteem. Is this supplement bullshit? Has anyone had positive or negative experiences with this?



*Reasons include: im “limiting God”, what can a therapist do for me that she as my mother can not, depression meds just make people not give a shit and feel bogged down, talking doesn’t give someone a better self esteem. (She doesn’t believe psychology is a science either- this is all coming from a registered nurse.) For the record I know these arguments are all bullshit- these are just the things she uses as her reasonings.",3.3939010067114097,6.198850080536914,4.514358221476512,79.28348364093961,78.39597315436242,8.020302013422821,28.775587248322147,8.841846274778883,2.8921171140939594,638,29,109,16,16,208,102,149,0.08900000000000001,0.775,0.136,0.752,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,3,3,3,1,0,10,0,15,1,1,10,2,28,29,7,0,1,7,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,11,5,0,1,7,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,2,3,12,1,13,25,6,5,0,1,2,0,13,2,1,3,2,77,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485691423771234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753355205898183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869437833936995,0.1571556916892017,0.0,0.12336617907550998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015692949105028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014117856056675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644644822233246,0.0,0.0,0.07052954030730471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676200207403537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067143847228934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766591920392963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263636816345227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344286925147935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198732317322426,0.2793288263168413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549401979878372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336716090014688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670371267863268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625896268050382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4302520069549863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223084348260018,0.0,0.29103370320225264,0.0,0.14318286674237168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818809230722845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211551462265916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239136317357334,0.09266991339856613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470348628691684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409464314902139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188920305348296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sad-but-rad-,2019/01/08,"My suicide attempt on Friday. This is not a “things get better” post... more like a “wow I’m a dumbass” post. I had been planning my suicide for about a week I guess. Killing myself has been on my mind for months, and yesterday was the day I had decided on. 

I had a good day at work. I hugged my loved ones. I even ran up and down the dark halls of my old high school with my cousin (around 9pm), reliving old memories and laughing until it hurt. Overall, it was a great day. I enjoyed what was supposed to be my last day of life. 

I went home. I prepared everything. I put four envelopes on my bed: a letter to my mom, dad, best friend, and a paper with general instructions for my finances/last wishes/and my pet lizard’s care sheet. I cleaned the house, made my bed (something I never do), and took out the trash. I took a shower, shaved, and put on the clothes I wanted to die in. 

The plan was to cut my wrist vertically and bleed out in the bathtub for easy cleanup. I sterilized the blade as a habit of a long term self harmer, but this time I there would be no gauze or Neosporin nearby. 

I took a deep breath. I placed the blade where I would make the cut. I hesitated. 
Did I really want this? 
Yes, dumbass. There’s no turning back now. Stupid cunt. Just do it, you’ve waited so long for this moment. You got this. 

I made the cut. It wasn’t deep enough. That wouldn’t do it. That wouldn’t be enough to kill me. I cut again, deeper. I cut 5 times total. It was enough. It hurt unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I watched it bleed a while, turning it over and let it drip. 

I started to get dizzy, and I started thinking. I started panicking. 

No, this wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t tell my little brother goodbye. I didn’t tell him I love him. I didn’t hug my grandma. Shit, I didn’t include her in my letters. What the fuck was I thinking? I don’t want this. There’s so much I forgot to do. How could I possibly forget when it’s the only think I’ve thought about for months? 

I snatched a towel from the cabinet and applied as much pressure as I could. Dumb. So dumb. Fucking idiot. I ran to my room, grabbed my phone, and called my neighbor (I live in the middle of nowhere, calling an ambulance would have taken forever). I called my therapist and explained the situation. She calmed me down and talked me through things until my neighbor arrived to drive me to the hospital. 

They stitched my arm and put me in the psych evaluation room. I waited 2 hours for someone to come talk to me and see if I needed to go to a psychiatric facility or whether I could go home. During those two hours, nurses were in and out. One nurse drew blood. One hooked me up to a machine to check out my heart or something. He put stickers attached to wires all over my upper body. One asked for a urine sample. 

I have never felt so powerless in my life. They made me wear a paper jumpsuit, for fuck’s sake. 

Finally the person who was to evaluate me showed up. She did not give one single care. Her questions were mumbled and apathetic. I had to ask her several times to repeat the question simply because she was mumbling and I couldn’t hear her. Anyway, I was released and got to go home. 

Now I’m stuck with this scar and a weak explanation as for why I’m wearing a wrist brace (too hot for long sleeves) because I’m an indecisive pussy. The end. ",1.0638434868746884,3.381678352154534,2.4798823179792002,93.26555106488364,84.2005943536404,5.43182961862308,22.64346706290243,6.801881997342068,0.597867336305101,2573,92,554,31,75,831,314,673,0.171,0.752,0.077,-0.997,4,0,2,0,0,4,106.0,0,1,2,6,22,37,16,2,43,1,47,23,11,5,5,80,104,39,5,15,9,4,4,1,3,5,5,1,12,2,28,29,0,3,10,1,1,15,17,21,0,7,42,8,97,16,74,49,11,91,0,2,2,7,42,36,7,8,39,359,125,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05228401394031907,0.056559752691128576,0.11879357507996745,0.0,0.0,0.04885460765841603,0.0,0.07746087402782452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667621888831024,0.05619167600968896,0.0,0.07057322737442186,0.0,0.0,0.19462947182812848,0.0,0.12955663725267447,0.0,0.0,0.05472990492919038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218293931229165,0.0,0.0,0.1638996594506039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593945357760686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627328363076125,0.1969463782669778,0.0,0.041964366586953225,0.057471179571279764,0.0,0.0,0.057101294996994276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200741303437836,0.06959964996806302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490870983791348,0.17621166390055107,0.06638898589263961,0.0609487041417718,0.10832546774191837,0.053290268432612496,0.1016297251288808,0.07004772588218149,0.06999112945058919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160873032366638,0.07528945727156673,0.0,0.06712837305902092,0.19119280384307774,0.0,0.12513864682986514,0.07331103135569864,0.136031381772189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058445732653296,0.0,0.0,0.10357925243713176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496899431515679,0.08975350915027015,0.031040064433267525,0.06367891040863155,0.05610270043343708,0.16867982213601315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468590479106465,0.18035548211142333,0.042410205201528384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415238848177414,0.07441159841957139,0.10142629926843554,0.0,0.09341128967370914,0.0471105078053724,0.09800444718841836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333890186615638,0.0,0.2152653057437784,0.048321343687517185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547644129209826,0.06638070775866357,0.0,0.0,0.07162633397258325,0.12169821968079796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25548149239393264,0.14234781477958572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04070224324999185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643009625941343,0.05062928769285183,0.0,0.06628101672919284,0.0717766336150732,0.06521791724781566,0.0,0.07141616930159789,0.0,0.0,0.05383312542302258,0.09782492322938632,0.0,0.0,0.13491151606324955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899428129284716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021342919193425,0.1110650410022736,0.0,0.0,0.07376920476103671,0.08441985945517355,0.12213227379726875,0.0,0.050439811224822995,0.11114356865406212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117696643292392,0.0,0.1382159946962495,0.06206460838722728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989870767193322,0.0,0.05096406400910998,0.0,0.0,0.05889771949542145,0.05733058955747471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04625434504710594,0.0,0.0,0.13540064044583972,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jacornonthecob15,2019/01/08,"What is wrong with me. My dog sleeps with me and almost every night when I’m about to go to sleep I get this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I think about how sad it will be when he passes away and  sometimes It ends with me crying my eyes out hugging him. Like I know how stupid it is and I try to “live in the present there is nothing I can do everything dies” but I just can’t. I just cry myself to sleep most times. I just think what will I do when my dog passes away and I get extremely sad. I cannot go to sleep I just think about that. I hate it but I just can’t seem to overcome it, it is every night. Help me",-0.8523006535947673,1.2053094518518537,0.9677995642701518,102.26803921568629,91.51851851851852,4.065359477124183,15.348583877995644,5.5289334501034215,-1.0389389978213508,476,10,119,3,17,154,70,135,0.173,0.7659999999999999,0.062,-0.9451,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,14,9,2,1,1,0,13,6,5,2,0,25,25,11,1,0,7,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,6,0,0,4,3,7,0,0,0,2,23,2,17,22,1,16,0,4,1,1,3,4,0,3,9,82,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442066616248891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706069897932027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163796242492224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494611453706242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755139706034582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426717102930565,0.0,0.1294282025305554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281651459476371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15048007426737078,0.0,0.16369004799694026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421814889972455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965278372025883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914492497229679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035671863907661,0.0,0.1271647459938027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27028997455967885,0.0,0.1381828672771598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311026125342056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.576461800838496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243100331263814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27683016067117605,0.0,0.0,0.08397423277635442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777431926168492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745390985119767,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ilikespookystories,2019/01/08,"Insecurity and thoughts like im never good enough for anything and anyone consume my mind daily. Is  this a good enough reason to consult a therapist? These thoughts always plague me and i have a hard time meeting new people, maintaining friendships, and very other social part of my life. ",5.280588235294118,8.27662215686275,5.0468235294117685,77.04670588235294,72.52941176470588,6.432941176470589,29.807843137254906,7.554174236665415,2.2676949019607844,234,10,35,3,5,72,41,51,0.16699999999999998,0.7390000000000001,0.094,-0.4427,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,9,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,3,3,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,23,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412061152194658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631906094522748,0.0,0.17220268314379253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4324418653311339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3510337679897273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874553490567157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260360965342468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780612593067038,0.10223358876895464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211292373979828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139377501824953,0.20210406418639573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266075735508573,0.0,0.1450741424909644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515354903846368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331363908848625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429663301623095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33225723029205884,0.12202085809155587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266094748931501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,totallytubular11,2019/01/08,"I ""beat"" depression but now I don't feel like myself. Hi everyone. I've had a long long battle with depression since my early teens. I think I ""beat"" depression about a year ago - by that I mean, I feel much better, happier, etc. even if I do have small periods of sadness here and there (Nothing like my previous depressions where I was constantly sad, sometimes suicidal, and involved in some self harm). 

And while I am content for the most part - I feel like I lost this huge part of myself. I feel like I'm not in sync with my emotions, and like I'm almost just constantly distracting myself from feeling things by keeping myself constantly busy.

I'm not really sure how to explain this - but it would be comforting if other people could share if they've experienced something similar, and how to get out of it. 

A part of me wants to go back to being depressed because I at least felt like ""myself"" - sometimes I'll just put on really sad depressing/triggering music to feel like I'm still me or actually here. I'm terrible at articulating. But yeah- any relatability would help me feel less crazy.",4.770480769230769,6.516858932692307,5.818461538461538,76.50153846153847,70.25,9.815384615384616,29.82692307692308,10.125756701596842,3.2298019230769235,870,35,158,24,16,288,125,208,0.301,0.597,0.102,-0.9945,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,4,13,24,1,1,4,1,11,0,0,2,1,41,32,15,1,7,11,0,8,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,1,11,0,0,2,3,13,0,0,4,9,24,11,22,23,9,24,0,9,0,0,6,9,0,7,20,104,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.09436668890273722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572002173552548,0.0,0.0968325573365226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576031809983332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435746419189301,0.0,0.058948320771177815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552459505942063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134998174822639,0.0,0.07720825801904611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4164441876758167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877614216562008,0.0,0.0,0.10784770497201478,0.06387041131600021,0.0,0.0,0.09240240209930788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422661943328951,0.27633420831829936,0.09284857949612924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050522528762930737,0.0,0.0549576759474271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481695939126376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595271292223247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33070418803152496,0.0,0.0,0.17115552228044287,0.0,0.0,0.10556108166159167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533625378604454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108670972854325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278767199636268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141548173382193,0.0,0.06704062596054293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721169011936936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238988803738605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088072679863602,0.0,0.0,0.07999245826806348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444551880308371,0.1912804601308249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722592175131841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577571686148178,0.0,0.09113999447663912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642441621925639,0.06196239966453777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05703703459281957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738790472477258,0.0,0.0,0.06227257853215455
mentalhealth,throwawaythekeybecca,2019/01/08,"Help with depression. Throwaway because my friends know my actual account. 

Basically, I’m depressed. I know I am. I’m not some twelve year old whose sad because they can’t find a date for the dance. I have seriously wondered if my life means anything to anyone.

I want to live, but sometimes I don’t know that I deserve it. I would never do anything to intentionally harm myself or others, I just wonder if I should give up. Resign myself to nothingness.

I want to speak with a therapist, and have asked my parents to set up sessions on multiple occasions. They haven’t yet. They don’t know that I’m depressed. I suppose telling them might help them understand I need to talk to someone, but everytime I think about telling them I’m crippled by fear. I don’t know how they’ll react, if they’re going to laugh and think I’m just trying to get attention, or if they even believe in mental illness. I don’t know what to do.

I attend an online school due to health problems, I rarely talk to others outside my immediate family, and most days I do nothing. I’m left alone with my thoughts and nothing but time. I struggle everyday trying unsuccessfully to lose weight, my teeth are in terrible condition, and I can see all my friends surpassing me as I was held back.

What do I do? I want so bad to get help, but I’m so afraid of what will happen when I do. I don’t want my family knowing what’s wrong, but I have no other way of conveying the seriousness of my situation. What am I supposed to do?",3.2663513513513536,5.140216878378379,4.694491891891894,82.49375135135139,74.47297297297297,7.8441081081081085,28.73189189189189,8.608573733854374,2.247148,1180,50,231,23,25,393,155,296,0.187,0.716,0.097,-0.9856,1,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,8,1,10,19,0,3,5,0,27,5,1,3,2,55,61,21,0,12,14,1,1,0,2,5,3,1,0,0,12,8,1,1,16,1,1,3,11,16,0,0,3,3,48,3,31,53,3,22,0,6,1,0,22,6,0,11,11,154,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.099258907669106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534578866557702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711213068633715,0.0,0.1674051185327139,0.0,0.0950895456299842,0.0,0.0,0.0782123518219349,0.08492755410176497,0.12400871529371765,0.0,0.0,0.1145976737030344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655975886556816,0.0,0.26282025355231514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718162238517192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917751973079298,0.11445735391240143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296542398203336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716910205031398,0.0,0.10628350058691173,0.097574041014862,0.05780682723960745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994600318766376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811800564169764,0.0,0.0,0.20453172604924444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39129830341250094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051335589484647,0.0,0.07184412455009141,0.0,0.0,0.08981597345209069,0.0,0.0,0.11379276950900186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079716381206244,0.0,0.0,0.10250452811697516,0.10790325872336967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542018629534646,0.07844867322657093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951960606991501,0.0,0.10673250287078856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294217476573035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732726337866203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294074090338448,0.08105347379338003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143316224796091,0.0,0.0,0.0861825638780762,0.0,0.10059847257435636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063343244117262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350890029722145,0.17780632121177264,0.0,0.0,0.1180986456126137,0.0,0.13034938872545734,0.0,0.08075013699691931,0.059310679251215574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811525504925246,0.0,0.0,0.10588862505607442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399759413495355,0.08073642126502509,0.0,0.12386114366837353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22061057990777108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072255228558372,0.1112090939717856,0.0,0.06550095372331104
mentalhealth,wannabeaspicegirl,2019/01/08,"11 Pills a Day Keeps the Crazy Away... or does it? I am frustrated!! It takes 11 pills a day to help me function as a human being. Eleven. And I recently realized my dose needs to be adjusted because it doesn’t feel like they’re working anymore. I just want to feel like a “normal” human being without having to take so much medication. It makes me really sad to look down at the pile of pills every day. Does anyone have any suggestions to make it easier or less sad?
",2.8173387096774185,4.667664000000002,4.550201612903226,83.14530241935486,75.66666666666666,8.090860215053763,23.45295698924731,8.841846274778883,1.7356892473118282,364,11,72,8,8,123,64,93,0.135,0.748,0.118,-0.5761,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,6,0,7,5,0,2,0,15,17,5,0,3,4,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,6,2,12,14,2,7,0,2,1,0,4,3,0,2,6,44,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309455635217899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909650947337364,0.13464053769068945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18091391704489,0.0,0.0,0.11738113964604854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725505757977979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33701637256639433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223782578066426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472550788081686,0.2751259397320274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906709575785213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711537710742444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18814753557027733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169963082175692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25706697899587283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19398121643658275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155176759002924,0.14277879419517792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18866526510015436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335713374776935,0.0,0.19012709831069133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895582432479655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357528144906455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856183607453916,0.0,0.14018400394657518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Siritive,2019/01/08,"Having one of the worst days in a long time I don't often get as depressed at I did today anymore, but things just stacked up and made the day really heavy. When I finally got home I just fell into bed and started bawling my eyes out. It felt like the world hated me, I disappointed multiple people today by just trying to do the right thing, I feel like so many times when I try to help I do something wrong and people get mad for me doing it wrong. Just needed to talk about today somewhere, things just are in a bad place for a bit, ready to fall asleep to escape reality.",5.0827838827838825,5.094083529914531,5.855067155067157,82.8546153846154,68.40170940170941,8.395115995115995,26.115995115995126,7.957251820313856,1.366722588522589,451,11,93,5,7,148,81,117,0.23,0.66,0.11,-0.962,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,10,10,2,0,7,0,7,2,2,1,0,16,16,8,0,1,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,8,0,1,4,3,11,2,17,12,2,23,0,2,1,0,2,9,0,1,14,62,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135124687018786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742561438992026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666140448410975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684572634533876,0.0,0.13144549154168395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716579947839447,0.10902687237904468,0.14653256705213652,0.16718025769264913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594681550062115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205868595657995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067390042711507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229338455858576,0.0,0.15308344333212848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911816289683322,0.0,0.0,0.1350578446165027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440626252912395,0.0,0.15472579119876415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316072478162932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341462723748046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116054994506404,0.0,0.15944827070259845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776789852139972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303308052318982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748906698350432,0.0,0.0,0.10802038052159536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226646775534576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041682076972214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779799223798104,0.0,0.4339782947932717,0.0,0.0,0.2072286364232615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33371706685726044,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lalaloey,2019/01/08,"considering suicide i'm probably going to do it within the next few months if not sooner

i know it's so dumb to-- do this but i'm so lost.

trust me if you felt how i do, you'd see this is the only way to escape ",-0.7659183673469414,0.8595871020408197,2.680979591836735,93.29616326530613,86.14285714285714,5.5526530612244915,15.922448979591836,6.742157984588678,-0.3886848979591839,164,3,41,2,5,60,36,49,0.172,0.7,0.127,-0.3485,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,2,0,1,3,3,1,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,7,12,6,1,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,2,5,1,4,9,1,5,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,2,2,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253530945255117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257860523510886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18622536249591856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698993001986735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27047012564685585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603752007292296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577138275349652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653420531318369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700228619690556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706514089208242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689666280151703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itsamhquest,2019/01/08,"Starting on medication for the first time I'm 16yrs old, diagnosed with bulimia and major depression. A psychiatrist I talked to while I was inpatient for my eating disorder suspected an anxiety disorder but didn't go any further than that. 

I've been prescribed Prozac and will be taking my first dose tomorrow. This'll be my first time trying any sort of medication for mental issues. Don't really know what to expect. I'm definitely aware it won't cure me. I'm just hoping it'll alleviate my symptoms enough so I can maybe utilize my therapy more efficiently. ",6.916366158113732,8.39085278640777,8.020416088765607,63.76796116504858,64.8252427184466,12.4876560332871,36.0735090152566,12.031772070788634,5.231636338418864,459,22,73,17,7,156,77,103,0.086,0.805,0.109,0.7498,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,3,0,10,7,0,0,0,10,18,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,3,3,0,9,1,9,10,3,12,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,9,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23220871007068475,0.0,0.1306103455747795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470521591605267,0.17329049117536988,0.0,0.0,0.3913498226513903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17470257335096656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641292050754911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4356764342086077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703154888074583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957648072418074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820098680329152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383044051958404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152433573366152,0.0,0.0,0.3439912497622392,0.1720587966063851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791556562435823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937598852220708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084575897382505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17745705174070422,0.12837003474301548,0.13722878948073688,0.0,0.0,0.19524816651892726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19911167409552646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159165600452285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LiquidMotion,2019/01/08,"I feel like I'm at the end of my life and it doesn't feel wrong. The last two years, I've been running on ultimatims. ""see that movie first, finish that book first, get that promotion and then think about suicide"". Well I've run out. There's nothing else here that I want. I've never wanted kids. I've been single long enough that my ex won't be guilty over me leaving. I've alienated my old friends specifically so I can do this, and it's been long enough that they won't feel guilt. I haven't talked to my family in a year or two. The end that I designed is here, and I don't feel any regret. I just want to be gone and forgotten. The only reason I'm making this post is that I know you're not supposed to feel that way. I tried medication, and it was worse than the depression. I tried therapy, didn't help. All I know is that I've never wanted to be here and everything trying to convince me otherwise has been a total sham. Here's to me making my first and final attempt to get out. I have the right to choose that, my only wish is that there was a less violent way to do it. Cheers",1.4322339544513485,3.2020682565217413,3.0466459627329208,92.72702898550725,79.47826086956522,6.467908902691512,19.648033126294,7.447530270364453,0.3212380952380953,849,20,195,12,21,280,117,230,0.066,0.812,0.122,0.8209,0,1,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,1,5,10,10,1,1,9,0,24,2,0,3,4,35,45,11,1,6,3,1,5,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,18,10,0,0,10,1,0,3,9,5,1,5,8,6,22,5,18,32,6,29,0,2,1,0,6,7,0,1,17,124,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953224004640408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073168761100243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976994572757136,0.0,0.20717178279422707,0.24168800105427016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511006574636554,0.0,0.1102531426268988,0.0,0.295675458935231,0.08355144570483652,0.0,0.12811660023563767,0.0,0.29844119746837,0.0,0.0,0.0903578130443585,0.0,0.12220652215290745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839131747443721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128548926813155,0.09533253172453797,0.0,0.1238366354721448,0.0,0.0,0.0826075594979808,0.05713746445722311,0.0,0.0,0.20699994277111536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613444344070135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781812422809206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040315702039872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221982520459288,0.0,0.12272279238533575,0.0,0.0,0.1778964772065156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200891216685756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024744909242348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987746102761297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319662116887954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792790466336204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400261534493808,0.0,0.0,0.1337462668258799,0.0,0.0,0.07493893865430884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382107977620016,0.0,0.22849271871845575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759282958385006,0.18566413788380187,0.0,0.0,0.1051550431171937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449049873811528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918538264076785,0.0,0.12787005067596902,0.0,0.15062815409770403
mentalhealth,-not_a_real_account-,2019/01/08,"I have incredibly low self esteem Whenever I talk to ANYONE, whether it’s a complete stranger or my best friend or even my fucking mom, the only thing I can think is “they don’t like me, they don’t want to be talking to me, I’m such a fucking idiot.” I can barely maintain conversations anymore because I can’t get those thoughts out of my head. I look in the mirror every day and I hate what I see. I wouldn’t consider myself an unattractive person from an objective standpoint, but that just doesn’t matter at all. I have an massive crush on this one girl but I can’t do anything about it because I’ve convinced myself that she would never want me. I hate living like this.",2.799607843137256,4.762084058823528,3.927058823529413,87.09343137254903,76.05882352941177,6.003921568627452,26.77450980392157,6.816661863887847,1.2094186274509804,536,21,105,5,12,174,90,136,0.116,0.754,0.13,-0.0626,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,1,4,11,5,0,7,0,14,3,1,0,2,17,26,6,0,4,6,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,3,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,1,2,23,5,10,22,2,7,0,1,2,2,11,5,2,2,4,76,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948150775767674,0.12654399875392575,0.0,0.14892944214102075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206449713269545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18992520533032425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18975194957176933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671581335044665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953423684589612,0.0,0.15248173823096434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982312425879778,0.3346224186664524,0.09455351538794438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573565383519209,0.18573560082698745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683338105389776,0.0,0.1598068558334869,0.0,0.1519759073469122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119592014128516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958136098512802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263535058089516,0.13764189503700056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802297549366126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421600416334934,0.0,0.1887994838591789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909264605502287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023371607078305,0.11596337027479725,0.0,0.1436762861395076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134909815524459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856155146615092,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chica_Eclipse,2019/01/08,Has anyone use a light box for SAD? Did it help you? My doctor recommended using one? ,-0.31078431372549176,1.8055681176470595,2.5847058823529423,86.62450980392158,103.11764705882356,4.619607843137255,11.549019607843142,6.42735559955562,-0.5269450980392154,66,1,13,1,3,23,17,17,0.175,0.594,0.23,-0.2199,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000994652438868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4392939143135153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876768548451169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908300946051897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7413643173675145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LarryBooker,2019/01/08,"Going to the first big social event in almost 2 years... ... and I can feel the panic and fear in me like never before. I feel sick to my stomach, my knees are wobbling, and I feel like I could throw up at any second. But this is perseverance time. Wish me luck! (Just had to get this out there. Thanks for reading whoever did)",0.5305,2.9011184153846195,2.101826923076924,94.46504807692308,87.92307692307692,4.480769230769232,15.817307692307693,5.985473137389443,-0.5897307692307692,247,5,53,2,8,80,50,65,0.085,0.6970000000000001,0.218,0.8440000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,2,2,0,6,3,2,0,1,14,13,4,0,2,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,2,0,2,2,3,8,4,9,10,0,13,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,7,36,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494494398680029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940453672556285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119757567078389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988954670390711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803199830869473,0.3778751669472613,0.1779654885128412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21189433269431854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015061098540975,0.0,0.14157595191759104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434068420655991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921303437514042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922789719528826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491791695312608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539380642177778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293486360290457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452590684326024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864662257648863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041980364101385
mentalhealth,cowsskategood,2019/01/08,"Lurkers: Getting treatment and help; has literally changed my life. I am sitting here after a great day and saw something on YouTube that inspired me to post to those of you who maybe lurking and afraid of talking to someone and seeking help. 

I was extremely overweight my whole life, a big drinker, and suffered anxiety and what I now know was depression. I was just getting by, until I received a diagnosis of liver issues at the age of 29... I dismissed it and finally came to a realization that I was self medicating with alcohol when I had to get a biopsy of my liver and was fearful I had caused irreparable harm. I quit that day, and began to notice my symptoms more around anxiety and depression. 

Several months later I finally gave in at the age of 30 to try medication after years of saying I didn't need it, and making excuses. Almost immediately I began to feel more energy, less worries, less stress, less anger and outrage. I began to workout everyday and started Crossfit. 

I am now 31, and am the healthiest, strongest, and best version I have ever been of myself. 

Take the chance, take help.... Talk to someone... It doesn't have to be the way it is, you may just need a nudge towards a new better you. 

Love you all..... 

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mentalhealth,SoulfulYam,2019/01/08,"I'm fairly positive my life will never go anywhere. And why would it? I have no skills, no redeemable qualities, absolutely nothing to like or respect about me, & having depression makes everything 1000X harder. I feel like I've made no accomplishments in my life and no matter how hard I try I never will.",4.679999999999996,7.083174894736848,5.62442105263158,75.04294736842105,71.98245614035088,8.770526315789473,28.94385964912281,9.3871,2.991255438596492,247,10,41,6,5,81,43,57,0.281,0.602,0.117,-0.8337,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,2,11,10,4,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,1,2,7,3,3,6,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,26,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897210304195485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303058561963479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240316272472805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520232082141495,0.19102615766553785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196603756523802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395322900983772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777362450620795,0.26127017197460045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25301444379579835,0.1784874131028824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4124611085496104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565715271817342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815428128424096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412812806057353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899488572841622,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sausagechipsandbeans,2019/01/08,"Not suicidal but dont want to exist I have been this way for as long as i can remember. 
Waiting to die is painful.
I am forever being told that it does get better and that i can be happy. What they dont understand is that at times i am happy. I dont feel sad constantly. I do feel enjoyment out of things sometimes. 
At times i am depressed and the feelings of not wanting to exist start to intensify and morph into suicidal thoughts. 
Not wanting to exist is there no matter what frame of mind i am in. 
People assume its an illness but can i not just be a person who really does not like life? Why is it so difficult for people to believe that a human might not like living? 
I do have mental illnesses, im not dismissing that. I just dont believe my thoughts on not wanting to be here are a part of that. When i feel suicidal, that is a part of the illness. 

I dont like the world. I dont feel like i belong here. I feel so out of place and i think that is the reason for the likes of my anxiety. 
I genuinely wish that i was never born. I deliberately dont get medical checks so no intervention can happen. 

It is hard to get that across to people in real life. They either assume its my mental health, that i am suicidal or the thoughts are so uncommon it freaks them out and think i am weird. ",2.3937075983717797,3.907589652985077,4.483297150610586,84.61672320217096,75.9776119402985,7.857801899592943,24.86838534599729,8.575989854853784,1.6645611940298517,1009,34,212,20,22,348,118,268,0.184,0.6609999999999999,0.155,-0.6263,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,1,10,15,0,0,11,0,37,8,0,1,1,50,61,15,5,5,14,0,7,5,0,1,8,0,0,2,22,9,0,1,16,0,1,0,18,6,0,0,6,7,29,9,31,50,3,21,0,2,0,0,7,12,0,4,13,162,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05802023658969763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089979611490827,0.0,0.06707760509614609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196011506077604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653240830806525,0.0,0.07871380498726742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274269724833732,0.0,0.6222179075581249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23009317567258275,0.05418276721232284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887563678485688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706834924920296,0.1614740959965147,0.06794107400180592,0.0,0.0,0.08061832550108464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819242301646256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714132181672367,0.18526704772559546,0.0,0.066971392415001,0.06711930366683197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640456660672372,0.1528652579932963,0.08045819919409844,0.07658053445163321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849535085087437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807030632108176,0.0,0.0,0.16426271110919685,0.0,0.15774145310324025,0.06622380902981538,0.07924054267878675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863267552576646,0.048587427767405794,0.07797997374057729,0.0,0.0,0.0859161475160744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501137630847678,0.0,0.053682573885454964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318428697366721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05038719608425532,0.09719518397297856,0.0,0.1806343205288688,0.08845016363714434,0.0,0.0,0.07247192265156413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895598509209495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17893835940944092,0.060201213023728176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843715865678114,0.0,0.0872165325677264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShelbiDoll91,2019/01/08,Never forget. There is always going to be that one person who loved you when you were too fucked up to love yourself.,3.364782608695652,5.4014387391304375,3.7732608695652203,88.49293478260874,74.65217391304348,4.6000000000000005,15.847826086956525,3.1291,-0.8052434782608695,93,1,17,0,2,29,21,23,0.133,0.573,0.294,0.6559999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,3,5,0,4,0,0,0,3,6,1,1,0,2,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315745072777533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508090495282267,0.0,0.0,0.21565856389444216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6849635097381133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29266661076799033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25713513725288145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313339856754272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,virgin_screwdriver,2019/01/08,"Anyone tried mini-EMDR sessions? I’m well aware that recommended session times are 60 to 90 minutes; however, if you don’t have that amount of time available for a session, is it possible that sessions could be broken down into smaller chunks and still be effective?  ",7.7650000000000015,8.809320499999998,7.6125000000000025,68.9825,62.75,9.733333333333334,38.91666666666667,9.725611199111238,4.2049916666666665,216,11,32,4,3,69,43,48,0.061,0.7929999999999999,0.146,0.504,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,1,0,5,8,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,5,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,22,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937888002226825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354671784398675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4736723630458896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355439267382768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4900026185143402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852641273262884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777783613161992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Franticsymetric,2019/01/08,"How to deal with mentally ill brother-affecting me significantly?  

I (23F) grew up with a brother (now 21M) who was my absolute best friend. I would do, and did, anything for him. When it came to college at an elite Ivy League school, I paid his down payment because my parents didn't want him to go that far. On birthdays Jordans were on his feet. When he needed help moving I did it, carrying his things/furniture to storage in NYC despite his absence, a solo task of 9 hours. However, in the last year and a half my brother has gone off the deep end. He took a semester off school, sits in his room all day, expects everyone to bring things to him like food, hygiene products, etc. My parents have do whatever he wants because they fear he's going to take his life if they don't. At a certain point, despite in the past calling me his best friend and the best sister, he 180'd saying I was the source of all his problems and the reason for his mental health problems. He cut me out of his life for 9 months but then came to me demanding an apology from me for causing his mental illness, but quite frankly, after much evaluation with myself and a therapist, I have no idea what I'm apologizing for because recognizing that at times I'm not the best person, to my little brother I genuinely don't think I have been. Him making me feel as though I ruined him has really personally affected me. I cry all the time and feel as though my brother died and I am a bad person. The realization that I have been a pretty good sister is only recent. I'm stuck because I'm afraid if I don't apologize he'll harm himself, but at the same time any apology that will come from me is going to be fake. I miss my brother, and I don't know what to do with myself. His erraticness has resulted in the worst year and a half of my life, almost as if my old brother has died. If anyone could give me advice on what to do; I'm going through a very difficult time.

To note, though, when my brother has been good, he has been great. He was my best friend. The only person I can trust. I'm stuck because I keep reverting to these images of what he used to be. :/

EDIT: Another question: how often do people tell untruthful things to their therapist to the point where they believe it? Ex: my brother says that that his therapist says my parents are the worst when I personally know my parents are unbelievably amazing, doing anything for their children. I worry that he has fed his therapist with untruthful information and so whatever the therapist says back to him he takes as truth. Is this common?",5.620448419035451,5.983854013861388,6.395305014372407,78.22626317470458,67.27722772277228,9.526030022357077,32.329926541041196,9.454032385205345,2.859771638454168,2027,81,390,38,31,669,230,505,0.146,0.732,0.122,-0.8589,5,1,0,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,5,7,14,29,1,2,27,0,44,9,1,8,5,60,80,32,2,12,8,15,2,1,3,3,6,4,1,6,19,19,2,1,9,0,1,12,7,13,0,2,19,6,70,16,59,55,13,60,0,2,0,0,78,24,0,7,24,268,89,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630988567885691,0.0,0.0,0.06465937249511672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043911066901160346,0.06770920658043066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045150133377067414,0.0,0.10627424836660976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965176080465348,0.05391479099855538,0.1968119780963172,0.0,0.0,0.07275035401603945,0.3388208226691995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593507036438519,0.14770597048956968,0.0,0.06633306898485287,0.0,0.055622924400611014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05155536167038366,0.0,0.07092913650344433,0.0416434962690958,0.06657073388071147,0.0,0.0,0.1340307550729408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057191486175934,0.0,0.07201467275406545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061701162306587315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726612744203187,0.06529892708044377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808052779646646,0.0,0.14966413512249965,0.0,0.0,0.061943194806918685,0.1467906637310429,0.10831959515188293,0.0,0.07119068389064971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863684865300526,0.0,0.0,0.043281144653811984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359025747640118,0.0,0.0,0.07289375003643928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057394420168930815,0.0,0.0,0.07097399145392272,0.052634669612860334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682700510664514,0.031546540407763037,0.06471794943103314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043102206020475715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952196881783532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05154062832505448,0.06862964919700984,0.04746773368605923,0.04787920274158948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677572861469195,0.0,0.0,0.09821959129452744,0.0,0.0,0.2867975564265129,0.0,0.06164112975520155,0.044765984969536335,0.28190820941473216,0.0,0.0,0.12208252452545885,0.0,0.0,0.06569277742744778,0.0,0.12357306457299384,0.0,0.0,0.07233524112933445,0.06868010239468147,0.0,0.0,0.0413663755155196,0.06639060811955612,0.06375690408369583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20540048229594146,0.0,0.13070030309343555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970999784114723,0.0,0.05643863612784476,0.0,0.0,0.3748644278502895,0.08579732536463566,0.041375029130719033,0.19032452108714007,0.0,0.15060944164151727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174169249619591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055769339313782175,0.0,0.05327853225542229,0.07617229095658665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065575840059804,0.0,0.04586998398198915,0.0,0.0,0.08316429850238606
mentalhealth,EJ-Treexe,2019/01/08,"I have no idea what’s happening. To start, i’m a 15 y/o M. I’m currently in sophomore year. I have been telling myself I have social anxiety, but I only have ONE thing happening to me. In many situations, and it has gotten worse lately, my face has hot flashes and starts to sweat. I hate it so much. Presentations, speaking in front of people at all. I’m not scared or anxious to talk to people. I am scared to talk in front of people (like a presentation or socratic circle). I don’t know what to do because I hate this sweating thing going on. Am I the only one? Why do I sweat and have hot flashes for no reason? Is there any way to help and get rid of them? This really sucks. It puts a lot of stress on me as well. ",0.5691473509933793,2.636553443708614,3.0164528145695364,90.24534147350997,84.09933774834437,6.159105960264903,20.033526490066226,7.413659706084162,0.5669235099337748,554,16,123,9,16,191,90,151,0.173,0.737,0.09,-0.9371,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,0,3,8,3,3,4,0,14,4,4,1,1,13,28,9,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,6,1,2,2,3,15,2,21,26,3,19,0,0,0,0,7,7,1,3,8,81,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076179576639327,0.0,0.11335089852381412,0.16739177706252725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032405605611438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774135659910237,0.0,0.08420935724798917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620553826302744,0.0,0.0,0.2925776355382068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931632651876847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672677452896078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143125795261569,0.0,0.16714406306653526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238917853802583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597022909037384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022278582218912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892320375485702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008098750443053,0.22538241716045096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30817067448634394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895342280801155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949225463064432,0.15234512318288929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296691319441545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665511307552089,0.0,0.1510423266023661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20975329790598735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973011223276618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23818950210297105,0.12950854370376055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687730646931206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761175047801875,0.0,0.0,0.13322409845615832,0.0,0.1337018578710934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099955913452826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541767773047842
mentalhealth,sterndaddy4,2019/01/08,"I have no idea where to go from here So my mental health is deteriorating terribly. I’m 99.8% sure I have bipolar disorder, but the thing is if I go in to get diagnosed, that’s pretty much a sure discharge from the marine corps reserves. So that is kind of a big call for me to make. My full-time job is at a small workshop. My role there is essential, so if I took time off, production would be halted and the company wouldn’t be able to fulfill orders they have. However, I really really feel like I need to take some time off of work. As it is right now, I think about suicide roughly every ten minutes throughout my entire day. And it’s even more when I’m at work, and I’m really afraid that I’m just going to go over the edge in the middle of my workday and do it. Also I’m set to be homeless in less than a year, and I don’t make enough money right now to be able to pay rent and food and gas and all the stuff I need, so the future is looking extremely bleak for me and that doesn’t help. If anyone has any advice for what I should do, especially with regards to my work, that would be really appreciated",5.077804555959061,4.452741184549357,6.3905579399141645,81.16839881148896,68.48497854077253,9.74433806536811,28.22350610762628,9.265573868473778,2.0228543413667883,868,24,191,15,13,296,129,233,0.058,0.835,0.108,0.9281,4,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,1,3,14,6,0,1,11,0,24,4,0,2,3,31,43,20,1,9,5,0,2,1,0,4,3,0,1,0,11,10,1,1,3,0,3,5,4,2,0,1,1,3,19,4,30,33,6,29,0,0,1,0,4,14,0,4,9,129,30,6,0.25943734671611524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675958629798678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373597621837284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821314612632827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070231252133873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245726891572182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365781295785099,0.0,0.0,0.13166172290180558,0.0,0.0,0.14866883796715086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403406556599606,0.0,0.08567796034705158,0.0,0.10929357702466967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558965885986508,0.09267104616601286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685633472842184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777265288878412,0.0,0.2948884457495391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378848838609803,0.0,0.0,0.08694769239962552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643659281005872,0.0,0.0,0.12872576738821515,0.0,0.0,0.13508203665514915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337399145946472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893101513805302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317644349702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072591258733646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535815054002546,0.1923695052713157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197052551002075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324044151585551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215580765539832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484968460742843,0.14189117446107166,0.0,0.2445166289650565,0.0,0.09753229867717224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617932259166697,0.0831184880773817,0.0,0.0,0.1512800032100427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441222190697855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28331021743982754,0.0,0.0,0.18429684748600916,0.0,0.0,0.08353457264882247
mentalhealth,Mogusaurus,2019/01/08,"Considering inpatient for suicidal wife with a laundry list of medical issues My wife has been chronically depressed/suicidal for the entire time I have known her.  I've prevented a lot of attempts, we've been to a lot of professionals and she has had a few medications. One gave her inorgasmia that hasn't gone away, one gave her insomnia that has only subsides a little, and one made her rageful while she was on it and she has had anger problems since.

She also has very bad breakdowns when she is confined. She'll smash her head on walls and the floor, gouge into her neck with her fingers, try to get her hands on sharp objects.

So I've tried to pin and eliminate every trigger I can for her... But it just isn't working. She was molested, heavily abused, and otherwise entirely neglected growing up. She was malnutritioned and I still have a hard time getting her to eat nutritious food. She has several back injuries and severe bunions. She gets cysts all over when she eats much salt, any processed sugar at all, much oils... Tomatoes. She has bad tinitus. She has pcos... 

So basically she is a walking medical nightmare and I don't trust professionals with her for a second because they have fucked up far more than they've helped, but at this point she had lost all hope and I'm ready to try just about anything, but not really because I think that if she isn't kept under in inpatient care she will find a way to kill herself or she will be imprisoned there. I'm also concerned that her medical needs won't be met.

A huge problem I have is that there is a precedent for pushing medication without consent, there is a precedent for medical imprisonment, and there is a precedent for people not getting the care they need. She has a LOT of care she needs.

Does anyone here have experience in mental institutions as it concerns such an extreme case? From what I've heard its really hit or miss, and i have no idea how to make sure its a hit...

We live in the USA",5.694122340425531,6.7052726356382975,6.092621276595748,78.16940000000002,67.32446808510639,9.52663829787234,32.85914893617021,9.692545771848811,3.100938,1565,67,293,33,25,504,199,376,0.14,0.795,0.065,-0.9727,0,0,0,0,1,0,43.0,1,0,2,3,19,18,5,0,20,0,40,18,4,4,4,53,67,27,2,7,11,2,4,0,0,4,9,1,0,0,12,17,4,4,4,0,0,4,9,12,0,4,16,8,44,6,40,43,10,35,0,3,0,1,43,20,1,7,10,208,56,3,0.0,0.10416728841848596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406144128829277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05978658611645985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061473622205393465,0.0,0.0723482136773641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260093118214365,0.06760275900066637,0.14681407319214498,0.1071867946519454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689117734718067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693677372179457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17992211305485084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407387834692719,0.0,0.0,0.08599971222431256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035456045562361,0.0,0.10630960549489,0.0,0.0,0.0812778652054345,0.18373205020818986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875637824525394,0.0,0.09022822312998684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058928923040940925,0.0,0.0,0.0873214347993775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924761048769036,0.0,0.09176252381153152,0.0,0.0,0.0972671529196885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811594729976628,0.07763233640532312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597180916500764,0.2242317108088017,0.0,0.08318920688693171,0.05868529129235232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5314028695381431,0.08859967446760088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925824618029355,0.19556806153269565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872453735152855,0.06686485284531518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060950589551687875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310999801354511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16824942293927553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264378420370726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986424084330163,0.0,0.07272586467192013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021064305374597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19233389338441426,0.0,0.08286074772568765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05633367432776727,0.0,0.0,0.1025302388224888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790696498169667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254074614076883,0.0,0.06978443560656429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474886671249306,0.0,0.06400463519871302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pineappleprin,2019/01/08,"Out of a funk Does anyone have any genuine good advice for getting yourself out of your own constant negative thoughts? I’m a 22 y/o and I exercise, have a prescription for anti-depressants, but don’t feel like counselling is right for me. 
ATM, everything is bringing me be down (especially due to family issues). 
How do you change your mindset towards life?? I feel like being alive is so pointless even though I wouldn’t act upon this. ",3.683780487804878,6.266146097560978,4.524573170731706,80.8800304878049,75.82926829268294,7.514634146341463,29.76219512195122,8.472884824447931,2.6286780487804884,348,16,60,7,8,112,64,82,0.029,0.8170000000000001,0.153,0.8762,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,1,0,9,16,5,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,2,8,3,11,12,1,10,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,4,41,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23882271939268346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619889713547029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17088863701896753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585404856632045,0.0,0.0,0.2641072175605121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21049948269752355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21387417767617195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142245395152674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21964900013743005,0.0,0.2303965121517885,0.0,0.2471497604311789,0.34919570031262565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768777286245284,0.0,0.0,0.2049892945316692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550878256560155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726254066980464,0.23880085792546396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20871440137729044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401196155077053,0.1940245681509724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TenaciousMite12,2019/01/08,"Emotional Detachment Just now I was looking through my feed when I saw a meme which looked like this.
Friend: Life is terrible right now.
Me: Talking alot of shit for someone who is in hugging range.

And I would have thought this to be funny and true last month. Maybe even last week.
But I felt something different when I saw it. I almost felt empty. I realized in that moment I no longer have any friends or have any real motive to make friends. 
Aside from my girlfriend and my animals, I dont have a real connection with anyone anymore. Not even my best friend. I have know her since my sophomore year of high school. And now I dont really want to talk to her. This thought also made me realize I am probably going through a full blown depressive period. And I dont think I'm gonna come out of it for a while... Since I usually dont feel any genuine connection with people, I dont think I will experience another friendship like ours ever again...

I know I need help but I actively resent and ignore anyone who tries to help. I dont know why I cant let myself get the help I need and it's really pissing me off.",2.32279761904762,4.4198058035714265,3.741428571428575,87.23690476190477,78.01785714285714,7.480952380952381,24.952380952380953,8.418075326091056,1.7031541666666672,876,32,179,18,21,288,130,224,0.1,0.7490000000000001,0.151,0.8508,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,2,11,15,3,0,6,0,20,5,2,3,2,42,44,14,0,4,5,0,3,2,5,3,1,1,0,0,10,11,1,1,13,0,0,2,9,6,0,0,8,8,34,9,19,31,3,25,0,1,4,1,15,7,2,3,18,115,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804384685729097,0.0,0.0,0.07031331928141465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937535273225858,0.0921966728867704,0.0,0.0,0.0871976372118252,0.12295793402377987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227150673446848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573930968866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572938130078566,0.0,0.0,0.0918625564723821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6182822840671297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890340879125536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614681812182433,0.07953288925594591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860071894446894,0.0,0.0,0.04445735021825487,0.0,0.16884292512619448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717214985602576,0.0,0.04593700618468345,0.0,0.049969610819344486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680213979788956,0.09289723127769184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449632820414036,0.14334066700473372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990892249790801,0.062103787992792786,0.08591109580434593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766914095312642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083196439748726,0.05869039366821524,0.0,0.08833213940747896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701806252066916,0.0,0.0,0.13039004342790542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095588888325991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479765516346117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001550257443578,0.11265357798530007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508717970380077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898445055764366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025340055080523,0.1454643756028377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449827956394182,0.06768869930731564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134102325811435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267714448593193,0.0,0.1396047184053068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969507299214745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683659170145174,0.0,0.05186024284613357,0.0,0.07052785916534521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933833034690907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06245915617819596,0.0,0.0,0.056620598675707075
mentalhealth,1024Username,2019/01/08,"Make decisions on someone's behalf. Lasting Power of Attorney I can't believe I didn't know what an LPA was, I've asked several people I know and nether of them know what this legal deed is. 

There are two types of LPAs one for Health decisions and the other for financial decisions. 

You can create an LPA for anyone over the age of 18, as long as they have enough mental capacity. 

I should have created LPAs foe my parents before they lost mental capacity. I had to go through the long court process and therefore I have to pay annual supervision fees. If I knew what a LPA was, I would have created this before it was too late. 

I strongly urge you to read what what a LPA is on the gov.co.uk website.

I learnt what a LPA is today from a Twitter account @Theartofneeti This account is currently raising awerness of LPAs.  I was able to DM her to learn more and LPAs I'm glad that I can make now for my brother who needs some help making decisions and I'll make a LPA for myself and my Wife. 

I don't understand why my parent's doctors never informed me about LPAs maybe they don't have a lot of knowledge about it too?

",3.5410812157448888,5.251287923766821,4.692787742899854,83.483596163428,73.34977578475336,8.004882909815647,27.635525660189337,8.680891452615391,2.097543298455406,889,34,174,17,18,292,125,223,0.032,0.893,0.075,0.7861,4,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,4,3,6,4,1,0,12,0,23,2,0,5,1,30,37,9,0,4,1,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,14,6,0,0,12,1,4,1,5,2,0,2,8,0,26,2,25,27,4,14,0,1,0,0,15,3,0,3,10,118,40,7,0.14630885857287645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230255576455964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677903252152002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489961249777925,0.1648399814561243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975331638650946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511761617289531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831506960159346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551947495229715,0.0,0.0,0.09806774384302308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412225670933305,0.11926124732011945,0.16504276523551714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25895747153143395,0.0,0.0,0.15971340237809284,0.12438655950436478,0.0,0.0,0.390649196817204,0.0,0.14698691368364736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948898344613352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084861647589724,0.11284241138642848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914266907200242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249173459182423,0.0,0.0,0.10143214053111814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463484518278734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528736502647584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396702107860645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868369048128704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292249531706389,0.15231268163339368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202098797483042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039336153239443,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wanttomaster479,2019/01/08,"Does anyone else feel like it's possible they may perceive reality differently than those around them? Like, my friends are all able to hold these lengthy/intellectual conversations. It also seems like they have some kind of ""flow"" when speaking in the sense that they are able to quickly come up with witty replies. I also notice this sometimes when I hear people speak in general. Like, how news reporters, commentators, and teachers are able to speak at length about many things, seemingly impeccably. Basically what I'm saying is that I sometimes think my brain may be slower than others' or wired differently or something.",9.892180685358255,10.510602345794396,8.458457943925236,66.1827647975078,58.252336448598136,11.245482866043618,38.39408099688474,10.864195022040775,4.348415576323989,509,22,79,11,6,155,81,107,0.0,0.88,0.12,0.9022,3,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,4,0,8,6,0,0,1,0,8,1,1,1,1,19,15,8,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,2,0,5,0,0,10,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,9,6,13,12,2,10,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,7,7,52,19,1,0.4595070029415793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24497838949138226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709932684224432,0.15693974217965856,0.0,0.13635288458665082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17098726112424853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194153183450494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32005801132920925,0.0,0.0,0.1340392249457416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279530461023047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744684910929232,0.10942396490510158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833799020541985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726325960889674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950194424031114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993225480560057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15528932616892882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438392281363238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618809950409884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726750345402487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180613733325632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27887861173461825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791698011514355,0.3029761169819089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175867825990384,0.09814451113513134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MarsValentineee,2019/01/08,"Story of my miserable life So, to start this off I'm 18M and the formatting probably sucks because     I'm on my phone so I apologize in advance. I'm just trying to tell my     story in hopes it will connect with someone and they can share their     similar situations. I'll start it off when I was 8. I was a quite  niave    lad. Young and dumb I suppose. But one day my life had changed   forever.  I  was in the basement of my grandmother's house (me and my   mom lived   there most of my childhood.) I heard a bunch of noises   coming from   upstairs so I ran up there. I didnt really know what to   expect. When I   got to the top of the stairs my uncle and my   grandmother were sitting at   the dinner table crying. My uncle ran and   picked me up once he seen me   and held me in the arms. He pulled me   close to him and said ""I'm so   sorry OP, your mother passed away."" I   was shocked, but for some reason I   didnt cry. I just held all of my   emotions back and I felt nothing.   Still today I dont know why, maybe   because I didnt fully comprehend what   was happening. Later on In my   life I found out that she had killed   herself. I always had a thought   in the back of my head that it was me   and it kinda never left me.   Anyways, fast forward a couple years to when   I'm 13. I had been   staying with my grandmother (my dad wasnt around   most of my life). She   had gotten to quite an old age and her mind was   slowing fading. My   dad came in from wherever, probably the third time I   had ever seen   him, and decided to stay with us. He noticed my   grandmothers behavior   and said it wasnt normal (her waking me up at 2am   saying it was time   for school). My dad took me out of the house and I   moved in with his   sister. His sister was a straight up b. My grandmother   had saved  15000  dollars for me from my SSI money and was saving it to   get me a  car,  when she got her greedy ass hands on it she bought  herself  a new  car.  It wasnt till I was 15 that i understood what was  going on.   They had  sold my playstation while I was gone and said they  had no  idea  where  it was. Once i seen how greedy they were i left and  went  to go  back  and live with my grandmother. Her Alzheimer's disease  has   tremendously  increased since I was 13. She cried Every night after I    left. Which  ultimately sent her Farther and farther down into the    disease. When I  got back to her house she did not even recognize me. I    was so  depressed because I felt like it was all my fault from where I    left. I  still do. No I got back though my other aunt was living with  her    taking care of her. She passed away in the later years, she was     bedridden from a stroke and slowly drifted away. I was depressed for a     long time over this and still am today. I always think that if I  would    have stayed I would have prevented her downfall. I stayed with  my aunt    till I was 18. I thought she was different but she wasn't.  She said  she   was saving up my SSI for when I moved out. Little did I  know she  was   using it for 500$ hair extensions and what not. Well I  met this  girl   when I was 17. She was absolutely stunning. She was  weird, funny,  smart,   and such a philosophical thinker. My aunt hated  her. The  reason why is   because she was noticing how much my family  fucked me  over. The house I   was staying in was supposed to be mine  but my aunt  made my grandmother   when she had Alzheimer's to sign the  house over to  her. Slowly I  started  to hate her more and more. Later  that year I  got a call from my  family.  They kept telling me to give  the phone to  my aunt. They told  her that  he had died and committed  suicide in a car  wreck, and not me.  NOT HIS  OWN FUCKING SON. At this  point my family  was nothing but scum  on the  earth. And it is truly  sad to say that. Me  and my aunt fought  alot after  that. Everyday it  was heated  discussions about my girlfriend  and me. So  I left. I  packed my shit  and I left. I went and lived with  my  girlfriends  parents for 6 months  and they were more of a family to  me  than my  own. Now I'm here. I'm  18, living with my fiance( aka that  weird   funny and beautiful girl  from the story.) And we have a dog and 3   cats.  I love my life now. For  awhile I wanted to kill myself but I put   my  family in the past and  started worrying about me. And later on  down  the  road I will have a  child, and i will show him the affection i   never got.  Sorry for the  long post. I just had to get it off my  chest.",0.860196514645903,2.9311720756396014,2.5263848720800897,94.16704857248794,82.9710789766407,5.690915832406378,19.56655543196144,6.9222095848367795,0.17973162773451978,3332,89,750,41,93,1093,338,899,0.121,0.8079999999999999,0.071,-0.9946,2,0,0,0,0,2,94.0,2,1,8,4,43,28,10,1,38,0,74,18,8,8,6,117,145,65,4,7,14,15,5,1,2,5,6,7,0,3,34,56,1,4,15,1,4,24,16,18,1,2,95,15,171,10,106,44,14,147,0,4,3,4,94,60,6,7,59,531,205,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344386058589269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04463676411898248,0.0,0.0,0.14132939792612553,0.1927794495569106,0.0,0.12226371573129408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051200305348087664,0.057348773187072564,0.051122828353555326,0.0,0.0530432943626045,0.04319265449973915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548086277175173,0.1652349846742931,0.03233726320388277,0.0,0.086373985066663,0.0,0.0520391921009919,0.052387428397283775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876572590199601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640268946637578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03311813513353898,0.0453560591074733,0.042246564209385065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23634576965452014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628783467500958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497781117298268,0.0,0.09271042985278152,0.052393961472413215,0.0481005096502241,0.056993393377323766,0.0,0.2406174984265668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04434016003978277,0.0,0.0,0.09900914114882678,0.051459873669728526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980204472121535,0.0,0.28928408083871643,0.0,0.056603901978222564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094877473649004,0.0,0.08266973889913948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32687477241343604,0.0,0.1770829090550433,0.02449671309406381,0.05025517913393812,0.22138030017218047,0.08874769394690225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525486265725651,0.04744531066426022,0.0,0.0,0.05037410024376384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062884641607408,0.05872537994480723,0.04002264490644245,0.1065854324686382,0.036859935774341705,0.0,0.077344775809935,0.048427188511471216,0.0,0.047054610327668056,0.049128242429172506,0.0962246710671244,0.1141733679103554,0.052615303526754295,0.10679859705978482,0.033977329172419884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567644950165431,0.0,0.047865948243109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04740013545769405,0.0,0.04802191016690864,0.0,0.10812251613309454,0.0,0.0,0.05040628083643607,0.0,0.10666378892180643,0.0,0.0,0.03212207169619223,0.10310808464087387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907850435898888,0.07974942131765128,0.0,0.05074610059934154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05146975808786868,0.041477751403208064,0.056361397490635574,0.0,0.0,0.042484919168890925,0.0,0.0,0.11225910743608383,0.14196227842639636,0.26722202566577,0.1201297342388448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05484690661429872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037700335470070886,0.0,0.08765215194905203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03212879145455644,0.049263988249030034,0.07961385433007998,0.08771412570429178,0.0,0.0950569809434224,0.04791256508820811,0.055709299189250834,0.03404293851746819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031431896307422,0.04330634950636384,0.0,0.0,0.029574887343619342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508343074208924,0.0929637591104773,0.0904902118951658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092135362811229,0.0,0.07123848274402714,0.0,0.0,0.09686887692353903
mentalhealth,littlefluffbob,2019/01/08,I will be there for you. I know how hard it is. When you can't break out of these glass walls and you watch helplessly has the hollow husk stumbles around. It fails at everything. Your grades fall so low. If you need some support comment down below.,0.4725000000000002,2.888023673469391,0.7660969387755117,100.47934948979595,97.9795918367347,4.08265306122449,16.32908163265306,5.985473137389443,-0.5404918367346934,196,5,42,2,8,58,44,49,0.17600000000000002,0.773,0.051,-0.685,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,0,1,5,4,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,8,8,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,2,7,1,7,6,1,10,0,3,1,0,6,7,0,2,1,30,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4176938906286576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216931816777597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203174944700231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257864009332404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479111975997768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5324507764818566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nastman1984,2019/01/08,"First psychiatric appointment/eval tomorrow. Help? I'm really anxious about tomorrow's appointment. I fear not being able to tell the psychiatrist all my symptoms for fear of judgment, her thinking I'm crazy, her thinking I'm a bad person, or just literally anything terrible.

How was your first psych eval? How did you get through it so that your treatment was good from then on? ",5.570196078431376,8.220819941176472,5.6623529411764775,74.65225490196082,70.17647058823529,9.827450980392157,34.86274509803922,10.125756701596842,4.228315686274511,308,16,50,9,6,97,53,68,0.237,0.69,0.073,-0.9124,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,2,5,5,0,2,2,0,4,1,0,2,1,8,10,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,3,0,7,1,7,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,5,32,9,1,0.2377262839277472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26856303474188664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562847608041686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19849151724615552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5350163225195391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4044197113328266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420217156171663,0.0,0.0,0.1993935281114476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934291706176998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075734215954818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229354481351345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24708863276933754,0.0,0.0,0.20778325036296186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046508075485391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peachie7,2019/01/08,"Is there any hope for me and my life. Hi, I’m 22(f) and I’m sorry in advance for my life story, I’m also sorry because I know this is going to be all over the place. I’m just tired and have no where else to turn. My whole life has been a pattern of feeling like being dead is the only solution to escaping my mothers mental and emotional abuse/mental illness. Although there are other factors that contribute to feeling like this, she is the main reason. Ever since I was little she has been unstable mentally and emotionally. There were some good times in my life but the negative highly outnumber the good. I grew up in a poor home raised by a single mother of four. I loved her like every little kid loves their mother or father and loved when she would show me affection, but there’d be a lot of times,for example, when she did, she’d scream at me and tell me ‘get the fuck away from me’ if I maybe was squirming too much’ so I’d never really know what to expect from her growing up. She has always told me she’s loved me but then does things that make me want to end my life. My father was in and out of my life but mostly absent, I remember her using him against me with things like, for example, if I didn’t clean my room when I was little she’d say things like ‘of course your room is dirty, you’re his daughter and the whole family are scumbags’. 
Name calling is something that occurs all day every day of my life, but I’ll get more into that in a bit.
There was constant screaming and chasing around the house with my older sister and constant screaming and fighting with my older brother, most times I would run upstairs and cry to get away. My sister acted out and my brother became addicted to heroin so there was a lot of worrying about that and going to school at a 5th grader being teased because of it(not that I blame him for anything, he is an amazing person and cared for me when I was little). A lot of the time everyone would leave and I would still be there so I’d often be the only one she could take her anger out on, not only because of my siblings but because of everything. She has always made everything my fault. 
When I was around 13 I noticed I started to become depressed, my mothers reasoning for this was because it was at this age where all girls just snap and go crazy. Also I was never allowed to do anything and if I’d go to a friends house id only be allowed there for like 2 hours then I’d have to come home, so I’ve always been really sheltered.  Anyway. It got as bad as it could get between the age of 14 and 15.   It came on very sudden. All of the sudden i was crying in bed everyday and I couldn’t get out of bed and I stopped going to school. It also probably had to do with the fact that my sister had my nephew then my niece and I was basically left to raise them, even though I lived with my mom and ‘she had them too’ she only ever really did things like cook and clean and I was left with everything else, so that probably contributed to why I stopped going. I missed out on everything. At 14 I took about 20 pills(probably just ibuprofen and whatnot) and tried to kill myself, the same night my mother told me to kill myself out of anger because I wasn’t moving from my bed and wasn’t cleaning or doing anything. So that happened. So the past 8 years of my life I’ve been doing nothing and accomplishing nothing but sleeping and laying around with the occasional hangout w one of my friends. Nearly every day since I’ve wanted to die. When I question small things about what she does, it gets bad. I said ‘I always help with my brother’ in public before and got a black eye because of it. She’s generally not physically abusive but if I push her far enough she is. I fight back verbally though and it makes it so much worse. I’m called a cunt multiple times every day. She says things that I’m not even going to get into, that make me want to end my life. It’s every day it doesn’t stop. My anxiety is so bad and self hatred and confidence and hope is so completely destroyed that I’m scared of getting a job or continuing school. I 22 and she controls everything and has to know every deal about my life. The day I turned 18 she tested me by coming into my room and trashing it saying ‘if you’re going to leave, leave now’. My first sleepover was at age 20 and I was awake and terrified the entire time because I left even through she said if I would I would be homeless and ‘you’re selfish how could you do this to me’. I have chronic fatigue, clinical depression and post traumatic stress. My mom knows this. Every time I tell her she’s making me want to kill myself during an argument she tells me to shut the fuck up and that it’s for pity and that I’m abusive because I scream back and for telling her how horrible she is and that she’s a awful mother. I was hospitalized again in may, for feeling like I was going to kill myself and wanting to change and to find a way to get away from her. Nothing has changed and it’s still a cycle of me being scared and depressed and incredibly tired. 
I’m 22 and feel like I’ve never even existed.
About a year and half ago, I ‘realized’ (didn’t ever fully understand consent up until then) that the first time I ever really hung out with a boy, when I was 15, I was raped. I had taken sleeping medicine that day(I’d take headache pms to make me sleep because it was better than being awake, great logic I know) and then went and hung out with this older boy. He lead me behind a park in the woods. I told him I wasn’t feeling right, I must’ve told him 50 times ‘I’m feeling really overwhelmed’ and he just kept pushing a wouldn’t stop. I must’ve been so mentally out of it that I didn’t understand what had happened, it felt wrong, but I would’ve not called it rape because back then to me when I’d think of rape I thought of a strange man jumping out of the bushes and using violence. That year I also realized how often I’d actually been sexually assaulted. I think the first time it happened was when I was about 5 and I slept over a family friends house and I woke up in the morning completely naked with my sisters friend hovering over me laughing. This same exact thing happened again and with a different older girl and another incident with the first girls brother when I was about 6 and he was about 13 or 14. Then all throughout middle and high school being touched and groped constantly. So I think this is what caused me to now shut down with anything sexual. I’m 22 and am unable to have sex or do things like hanging out alone or going on dates because it physically makes me sick and terrifies me. 


Again I’m so sorry for all this mess, this is my every day life and I don’t think it’s possible for me to not word it messy and all over the place. With all these things being only a couple examples of some of the things that have happened, there’s so much more that I’m too exhausted to get into, that makes me feel like my whole like has been useless and I should have no future because I am too mentally ruined for anything good. I am emotionally detached. I have depersonalization, I don’t feel real and I feel like I’m constantly having an out of body experience. My life is a nightmare. There are some good things that happen, but I am always too depressed and detached that I cannot enjoy anything good. I’m in constant fear. I know the main problem right now is my mother. I need out. But i need to get over my fear of living and everything. I know all of this probably sounds so pathetic and someone reading this might say ‘why don’t you just leave?’ This is how she made me. She’s insecure, abusive and mentally ill and she’s doing this to me to keep me where I’m at so I believe there’s no way possible that I could live without her. 


I need help. I don’t know where to start and I feel so alone. I genuinely feel the only way I’m going to get out of this and find relief is by dying, and I  a lot of the time I feel like that is what is meant to happen for me. And even if I do get out I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have a normal life. I really need someone to understand. I’ve been shouting and screaming for help my whole life and no one has a clue about what I’m going though. I know there’s worse problems in the world and maybe I’m just overreacting but I really feel like I can’t do this anymore. ",3.773645265323793,4.791239454384932,4.839264613603528,85.37658345453575,71.7604473219541,7.758965653106593,26.224959747834173,8.083293290236544,1.4814142115683029,6559,207,1355,91,121,2153,496,1699,0.184,0.708,0.109,-0.9994,4,2,1,0,5,6,126.0,0,3,3,9,102,85,17,7,61,1,137,43,6,23,19,295,275,157,7,35,37,21,15,15,4,10,26,13,11,9,84,123,1,7,42,4,1,28,30,48,0,9,67,30,207,37,190,178,34,208,0,10,2,10,116,85,3,29,106,936,291,10,0.02602929590336588,0.09252137791057308,0.025400838030610502,0.028375774603046244,0.0,0.0,0.023073400300488208,0.0,0.0,0.05391700106194303,0.0,0.08326247411918443,0.10829229677510133,0.0,0.0,0.017700813796878268,0.027293986290797632,0.019912340120759004,0.0,0.025814067255685236,0.0,0.0,0.12851935613234974,0.06951477565557795,0.0,0.0,0.07336614099971242,0.06004476557141584,0.06520012450468285,0.2062738234375252,0.028747312307349213,0.022149013665533283,0.029326102984322183,0.0,0.023020796978232026,0.02841724959794186,0.028912679863918614,0.0,0.0,0.07973646410125429,0.02977058022990078,0.026538601935115883,0.026739256992303582,0.05507108740858384,0.044843867258758635,0.05458244305320127,0.14064210897379414,0.02919406867157992,0.08312909902301295,0.028800920831953774,0.05718391861654599,0.13429394006198128,0.026835061133822537,0.08967597768187248,0.0,0.05402859930370835,0.02719507416579021,0.0,0.0,0.0455568245067304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0434882734419263,0.0878383633315156,0.046108460532084894,0.0268952207375604,0.0,0.08596052228018436,0.1177249417495414,0.1754464354633012,0.0248721076966364,0.14036071667553926,0.02546164602378221,0.04907620725936377,0.05858038893261091,0.17109552332047998,0.1487626735541106,0.02499220600591649,0.0,0.04758060979044284,0.08856202319332418,0.0,0.0,0.08044067778592102,0.04812732926435092,0.17679002626920529,0.0,0.1775165844869078,0.1091606922608189,0.0416360115107099,0.028697390624947743,0.0,0.0,0.16112334282993634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234066511005008,0.055002760458836696,0.05221901218027988,0.05170592797686074,0.025633613262436582,0.09010293813695854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025830059797844585,0.02313603417281563,0.11519023742416945,0.0,0.1287451827323429,0.0,0.0,0.08268379808409915,0.0848427184790969,0.0,0.257393660639913,0.1907489878179506,0.10435277054625428,0.06895303548443887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851670624244651,0.09396982321740008,0.0492590982916204,0.1216232999540432,0.0,0.0522998526201808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115704057429597,0.027612969577948003,0.0,0.06097039354182333,0.0,0.027665022216739776,0.057403582374438135,0.07720157238533996,0.060226192967604925,0.0,0.0,0.024426730932447127,0.025503183442490564,0.07492743429981652,0.029634525906993694,0.0,0.0,0.052914373642780385,0.138575167216534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0248479082159856,0.0,0.022727777186072787,0.05439014833158042,0.0,0.0,0.05868824031493805,0.024928870313468326,0.0,0.08419195029767322,0.049813041692648524,0.0,0.0,0.02915876849598491,0.0,0.02603633980050339,0.029627037276117683,0.11672523431737104,0.05352490272354207,0.0,0.0,0.0294861181505274,0.04445775295963583,0.04951964210577242,0.08279816336718017,0.05211973209330685,0.10537214836796972,0.0,0.0,0.027154232405711708,0.0,0.0,0.0430634051011726,0.0,0.07814428184871591,0.0,0.044109075901328114,0.020038623662751488,0.0,0.08741299714192499,0.03684733922490629,0.0,0.041574058663680434,0.08704662755972503,0.02981647051349475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0391415822669741,0.0,0.09100300762879876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902197835872228,0.08339260898986707,0.07672095320130963,0.020664353446705936,0.15177891763305434,0.05983369315361586,0.0,0.0994884307865456,0.028919505490642188,0.01767218331052847,0.056624798884769324,0.0,0.08129224502348235,0.0,0.044961908713818825,0.0,0.021476895128669314,0.07676376559803798,0.06198253057228646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02412941807877677,0.04697478190959836,0.11624311726544725,0.0,0.0250913123932543,0.0,0.0,0.02643401348195867,0.05305215254098217,0.1294332549493728,0.02845894892300412,0.0,0.050286039473337374
mentalhealth,Gwennnn,2019/01/08,"Advice please Hi all, I would like some advice please. 

Condensed history:
-I’m 31F
-diagnosed with severe depression at age 11 (twice tried to take my life, but I have not experienced that level of depression since then) 
-diagnosed with anxiety at age 19 (after two panic attacks that had me in the ER)
-my mother has an OCD diagnosis 
-my father has a bipolar diagnosis

As a teen I only struggled with depression. Entering adulthood I began to experience anxiety. I tried a handful of SSRIs, but never felt any better and also struggled with side effects even after I stopped taking them. 
Two years ago I suddenly began to struggle with sleep and eating and other anxiety related issues- I lost a significant amount of weight before going to my dr for sleep meds. She tried me on meds like trazadone and I didn’t feel any better. 
6 months after, my dr prescribed me low dose (starting at 50mg but now at 150) of Seroquel- a med for bipolar. I have felt much better since being able to sleep. 

However, about 4 months ago, I began to experience severe anxiety sporadically. Like, touching my fingers each 10 times and also hating everything and everyone (with the exception of my partner who is super supportive)- much worse than any time before. These episodes last for about 3-5 days and then start to get better. They are very consuming when I am in them though. I’ve been trying to find their place in my menstrual cycle as that has made a big effect on my mood before, but my period has been somewhat erratic lately.  My partner is very helpful and if he is with me, it is very easy to not touch my fingers or obsess over other small things when he’s there. My mom says with her OCD, there is nothing that can convince her not to do her rituals, but that’s not the case for me- I can be distracted easily. 

Anyway, considering I’m 31 and only ever once experienced anything close to “mania” (I’m not convinced that’s what it was) I don’t think I’m bipolar like my father. However, there is a significant change in my mood over the past year, and my partner is worried for me. I don’t understand because to my knowledge, most mental disorders manifest in your early 20’s, and those were the good years for my mental health. 

So I contacted my dr and she says she’s out of options (since I don’t want another SSRI) and I have to see a psychiatrist. It’s about $200 a visit (I have the world’s worst insurance but don’t qualify for any subsidies) and I’m anxious about what the first visit will be like. I would really like to know what to expect. Am I exhibiting symptoms of a typical mental disorder but I just can’t see it? I want to know because I want to be prepared. Im anxious about getting a diagnosis I don’t think that I have- that also contributes significantly to my anxiety. I’m also scared they will diagnose me with something and I’ll be unfamiliar with whatever it is. And the appointment is 3 months away, so I’m wondering what I can do for myself in the time before I can see them. 

Thanks! ",4.392491872250911,6.084800886402759,5.835350545037294,76.22213272136166,71.11703958691909,9.157559762860966,29.434346911455346,9.614737568247753,2.9439615299292408,2389,96,429,58,45,807,270,581,0.17,0.738,0.091,-0.994,2,0,1,0,0,0,71.0,0,1,6,9,22,33,2,7,21,0,48,21,6,3,3,73,85,38,0,7,16,4,9,6,3,4,13,2,0,3,23,29,2,1,13,0,0,4,13,15,1,4,13,16,69,16,71,63,9,65,1,5,3,0,30,24,0,7,43,294,92,1,0.061833211192474674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084539669318585,0.10962282183930357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977919866035924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819481584817095,0.0648375132723111,0.23651118658650774,0.13970785704734384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088346428036907,0.0,0.0,0.07034420426363787,0.05809433734017469,0.0,0.0,0.0753859032556314,0.0,0.2104620339743926,0.0,0.0,0.21874580190853884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541133865042165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987730588521339,0.0,0.15977056258495956,0.18827822334447425,0.0,0.0,0.14173243400953456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327081172799856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04084025282972596,0.055931679541741865,0.0,0.059084283098461476,0.055571703191322416,0.12096949081845693,0.0,0.0,0.03126472945903348,0.0,0.11873915897431843,0.0,0.05651443482685097,0.05259529785280838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461060155278198,0.0,0.03514123886759447,0.05186276389141307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610474946833158,0.0,0.06572581204629044,0.0,0.0,0.04144549807416311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679047872018598,0.06453780771233404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796383158642147,0.050402319890628905,0.06975055549021714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04367462569054696,0.18125150203502724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749825428098921,0.0,0.0,0.058508079494819724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20604827500557685,0.0,0.18694000066659625,0.0,0.0,0.07241830962996491,0.14806403775176472,0.0,0.09090904969386863,0.0,0.04768958436819255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933063379010733,0.0,0.0,0.06585035190228046,0.0,0.09405388684617176,0.0,0.07254795062476281,0.0,0.0,0.05902679665690023,0.0,0.0,0.06460254516799563,0.13574859544901272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03961193841976117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834450268725553,0.061905831294574276,0.0,0.14781919124268567,0.0,0.0,0.13970785704734384,0.0,0.1534472137955664,0.0,0.18563359919432532,0.0,0.0,0.04760222687334426,0.0,0.0,0.08753173027165,0.0,0.0,0.05169533326482684,0.0,0.19392449330361103,0.0,0.0,0.07016759530451623,0.0,0.06426838194269607,0.09298175915732187,0.0,0.0,0.05692771331210988,0.0,0.0,0.041079237987010665,0.07924045003299729,0.060750816052245485,0.0,0.10816632808753328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16792276624443475,0.0,0.12080412523611615,0.06437055351668056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305662479459345,0.10941249001374614,0.0,0.0,0.07529619326835255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705547991004188,0.0,0.0627946274214553,0.06301332476415049,0.08784907829927205,0.0,0.0,0.1194556821794751
mentalhealth,annacanhavefun,2019/01/08,"How do I get help? I've gotten to the point in my teenage years where i'm really sick of feeling shit everyday and I really just want help. I feel like my mom doesn't take me seriously though. I've mentioned wanting a therapist once or twice but she brushed it off like she does with most things I say. Our relationship is pretty damaged, but I don't know what to do. We're not really the type of family to sit down and talk about our emotions. Do any of you have any suggestions on how to make my mom let me see a therapist? ",2.407838383838385,3.9080395818181834,4.08757575757576,87.52580808080809,75.9090909090909,8.525252525252526,24.040404040404038,9.150863307647796,1.6958282828282834,414,13,93,10,9,139,75,110,0.076,0.77,0.155,0.7044,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,1,0,0,6,5,1,0,4,0,8,2,1,3,0,17,19,8,0,2,5,2,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,5,15,2,13,17,1,9,0,1,1,0,14,6,1,2,4,56,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246459698722515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454359476143566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857968655098368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557099620382389,0.0,0.16703238888071842,0.11799928899048027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629583008644286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214233313852795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077450328045916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689001035013378,0.0,0.16138991070218867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025394687970448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3868961435296079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17590335462979403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614143006480855,0.0,0.0,0.1680398443974153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174412581013181,0.0,0.0,0.17733348396099088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313518260142202,0.0,0.0,0.1316211220700199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954722925006022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418918716959862,0.1327594236146917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835560778087568,0.10973329008588943,0.0,0.1622811728621521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948460762505586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636569442656986
mentalhealth,Maha_Kitty,2019/01/08,"Advice abut my alcoholic, mentally unstable mom. My mom is an alcoholic and pretty much has been my whole life. She did a good job hiding it from the kids but of course my dad was aware of it. One of my first memories of my mom is here crying and she cried a lot. She has been to AA meetings, rehabs, my parents separated at one point which honestly was nice. Then got back together a few months later and a lot more crazy things happen. (like one time her hitting the glass front door with a tire iron.) Parents finally get divorced. Then that's when I really start to disconnect from her emotionally or try to. I didn't even call her mom even in my phone for years. When I was 20 she tried to kill herself and now there is a vertical 6+ inch scar down her arm as a reminder. In the last few years I had to become more involved with her, because my others siblings where too far to really do anything. So I tried at this point to be there and had a ""relationship "" or at least tell myself that if I'm trying to help her at least if she does kill herself or she dies then I did everything I could. In 2017 two weeks before christmas she was having suicidal thoughts again and was held for 6 days. I had to watch her dogs (which isn't a big deal, but I honestly rather not since i think she can take care of her dogs better) I realized during the summer of 2018 she is drinking so much or whatever she is doing she is going into a psychosis because she believed at one point the trust fund(my grandfather left her) was actually her older sisters stealing money from her account and she refuse to even let me speak to figure out what she is even talking about. Sometimes my mom would even talk odd too. Like at one point she gave me a letter trying to explain what is going on with her and I couldn't even understand what she was talking about in it because it was jumping around so much. 2018 Christmas she drank benadryl and rubbing alcohol to try and calm down or something like that before we came over. We had to call 911 and it's still really rough for us to act like we had a good christmas.

I'm really sorry for the long stories, but I wanted to make it clear that my mom has a serious problem and I'm past my limit. I'm at a point of I don't care if she does better or worse I kinda don't want her involved in my life anymore. The only reason I still think I should is, that shred of ""hope"" and what ifs. My other siblings agree that we dont really want to speak to her unless she is getting serious help. My mom told me that she is going to a free mental health place that she agreed to do a dual diagnoses group class and she would go to AA, but she still haven't really apologized for anything including christmas day. She is more sorry that we missed it or something idk, she doesn't really want to talk about it. My gut is telling me that this is over, but my heart says ""BUT BUT insert some excuse like you are sighing off on her death, or she could still change when she probably won't"" I'm sorry again for this to be so long, but I've talked to others and a lot of people just say ""do what is best for you"" and that's not really easy to do.......
I'm already going through my own mental issues and taking it very seriously btw. ",4.22490909090909,4.890863612121212,5.081515151515153,85.34727272727275,70.45454545454545,8.242424242424242,26.363636363636363,8.367750914986694,1.5508636363636366,2544,75,533,37,44,829,283,660,0.11,0.773,0.117,0.5429,3,0,6,0,1,1,60.0,6,2,0,5,33,28,2,0,25,0,60,14,3,2,1,84,98,49,5,17,25,11,2,5,0,4,9,4,1,1,34,29,5,3,8,1,3,9,11,8,3,7,25,7,92,20,75,62,17,73,0,1,1,0,94,33,0,18,36,381,126,2,0.0,0.0,0.05067642070358175,0.0,0.0,0.05074562699732165,0.0,0.16649289245275706,0.0,0.0,0.05730630832970283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05150084145819095,0.0,0.0,0.08546832132162621,0.046228921161208664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039931147120396485,0.0,0.09496857221245293,0.0573528672884289,0.0883776144181782,0.058507594538382085,0.054497580340351404,0.09185614987936602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060531571265928,0.059394357245304036,0.10589267605486924,0.0,0.054935305495785666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292413796984201,0.0,0.11408585471862145,0.06698141412028626,0.05353779453989303,0.0,0.052708097867197434,0.05389538772383096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088900145106056,0.0,0.0608618515101829,0.050871862632235115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841452748839308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057965923354475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667154891985604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056887036773164215,0.0,0.044171833428259054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426281142995201,0.0,0.14756575331754312,0.08711323868349584,0.04153335478918438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04592173745593677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055199414019304435,0.0,0.0615375813873276,0.06961548701203565,0.0,0.0,0.051578443118034285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420167597628716,0.05153274768087583,0.0,0.11490622722010199,0.0,0.0,0.042330074540832915,0.0,0.0,0.0564223549120822,0.05310218615205313,0.07335972491089877,0.12685245455019764,0.0,0.0,0.09191325195021646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244769245699273,0.0,0.0,0.03466383672854452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700039561773502,0.0,0.0,0.4257404651187967,0.041450220072206105,0.0,0.1145240990393347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594636423389995,0.039495285630629706,0.0,0.0,0.11532476627056472,0.0,0.049573287654517864,0.036001888006366105,0.0,0.05425604532535056,0.0,0.2454542985310715,0.0,0.0,0.052831720722319814,0.05598957913643539,0.04969022388748805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661427187722968,0.05339293304551088,0.0,0.055753640649569385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259401826078774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042957229033268624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995686770889862,0.051360332669694884,0.1743949476307381,0.036756489335483165,0.0,0.16588621876625698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680325112837474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809015149715358,0.2086977888136936,0.0907786328610636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034500142252263284,0.06654959858642467,0.0,0.04122680785456,0.030280939056568906,0.05968616867773435,0.0,0.04962156728453599,0.0,0.2115433345425648,0.0,0.050728296209195625,0.05406120858144022,0.062465681625209865,0.0,0.0,0.042847884453085995,0.12251919800596628,0.0,0.04165530408165097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057978255553425215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052921348464123635,0.0737795014360648,0.0,0.0,0.06688274060870987
mentalhealth,MachiavellianAI,2019/01/08,"SSRI's vs exercise Experiencing memory, concentration and mood issues in past I've been using an SSRI for the last few months now and something I've found that I'm quite receptive to. I don't have of the intended negative side effects ; quite the opposite. As far as I'm concerned I'm getting the results I need, so whether it's the placebo effect or the drugs them self or if something else I tend to get overwhelmed by neurotransmitters during exercise, so I feel I can only do one or the other, does anyone have any similar experience with SSRI's ? Possibly why ?",9.256666666666664,7.655452074074078,10.096962962962968,61.14433333333334,60.66666666666667,13.454814814814815,41.04444444444445,12.340626583579946,5.256242222222221,456,21,77,13,5,158,75,108,0.042,0.946,0.012,-0.594,0,0,3,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,4,3,2,0,1,8,0,6,3,0,5,0,17,16,11,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,6,0,9,14,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,4,4,45,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188542091856846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458890919948345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182586215951008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24196139031776398,0.0,0.17429571468114424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040943656500731,0.0,0.0,0.10549693287109407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287679349894787,0.0,0.0,0.2180162890488535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21777065996355385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700731223347508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653805658533435,0.0,0.0,0.15470725977865926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138291913396614,0.15868355105834978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19917479256195786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352153346057919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4438382359934077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176617266763473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212494731196717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802018657551077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18826921689263704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Moonlitsonata2,2019/01/08,Shared stories may help The struggle of mental health  https://ted.com/playlists/the_struggle_of_mental_health,30.67,40.038978,13.09,19.025000000000006,19.0,8.0,40.0,8.841846274778883,4.661000000000001,100,3,6,1,1,21,10,10,0.16,0.486,0.354,0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5535291208227543,0.0,0.0,0.3490453658434102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.524789936626967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5443972514621032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,egibson15,2019/01/08,"Could Use Some Words of Encouragement I have my first therapy appointment Thursday (probably 11 or so years overdue). Thinking about going is making me sick with fear. It’s taking all my willpower to not just cancel it. I also haven’t told my husband yet. I don’t know how to talk to him about it.

Any words of encouragement or advice from someone who has been there would really help right now.",4.6648,6.605985813333334,5.175666666666668,80.21950000000002,70.86666666666667,8.200000000000001,27.166666666666664,8.841846274778883,2.180066666666667,316,11,57,6,6,101,60,75,0.081,0.789,0.129,0.4278,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,9,3,0,1,0,0,8,1,0,3,1,16,15,5,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,0,8,2,9,11,2,7,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,3,5,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545929258243001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208350677609422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771735268658346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080169283189101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29317561981792634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216119294795126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806870704568545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17463190002572215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318386307877218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390991372481762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809020522845965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690613917985775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22249646199255035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207514477557338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958907725070823,0.20940910108350616,0.0,0.0,0.2979458114703448,0.0,0.0,0.16694105501391102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489534713922083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22501959607224054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507741699060387,0.0,0.0,0.16777674871982473
mentalhealth,itemax,2019/01/08,"Am I okay? I think i’m overreacting and i’m not sick but I don’t know. I have a problem with identifying reality in a minor way. I would go into a state of delusion where my thoughts would race and i would end up sharing convoluted thoughts with peers. I think I left my own reality days ago and i’ve been stuck in a sort of limbo state for the last week. I think I switched bodies with something much more powerful inside of me and I know it sounds crazy but i’ve been experiencing ghostly encounters so I think I could be in a parallel reality where I’m stuck now. I haven’t been on my medication because I don’t think I need it nor I don’t think it works and everyone keeps changing it around. I know there’s something in my head because whenever I get this out of body feeling I feel it physically rush over me. I came here to see if I’m just overreacting or if there’s something actually wrong all these months. 

P.S - I think I went outside during one of these moments but deep down I know I didn’t. ",0.9734294871794872,3.3435535865384662,3.164038461538464,87.81429487179491,85.25,6.543589743589743,24.051282051282055,7.793537801064563,1.3381532051282052,798,32,173,16,24,271,113,208,0.086,0.8440000000000001,0.07,-0.6006,1,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,9,4,0,0,6,1,15,5,3,0,1,44,43,13,1,8,8,0,2,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,8,12,0,1,15,0,0,4,7,2,0,1,10,5,31,2,21,28,4,30,0,0,1,0,1,15,0,4,8,107,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.12067425845103542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961707121040176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008355962531392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076389727581752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747166214127231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143402231733326,0.0,0.0,0.13081581456317173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987323958388281,0.0,0.0,0.07975042797760147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952599824310692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181623672726419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505235745559204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460721218926789,0.0,0.07027879083458763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269107692558655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991463210535804,0.0,0.0,0.2718410652723933,0.10079935173935888,0.0,0.0,0.1343568812584947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245743748802816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870418037421026,0.0,0.09090428075798618,0.09169227495199024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837951723357644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183258572061056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854095793098168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28559837844339664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5546540524856252,0.0,0.1963443509656049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815550054838784,0.0991925408467204,0.0,0.0,0.11463399868942868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090025905500849,0.0,0.0,0.2635334096530307,0.13520272651795154,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MattVibes,2019/01/08,"Strange brain/thought noise Good evening, I am writing this late at night as I feel the feeling I am about to describe, a feeling I've had forever but can only understand and or he conscious of while it is happening. It is a soft of noise, not auditory but at another level, somewhere between my thoughts and my hearing, a noise. As I feel this, I usually also feel a sort of distance, derealisation, as I write my keyboard and phone seems so far away. And this strange feeling in my gut that is all to familiar. What is it? I've had it for as long as I remember sometimes in the evening, it comes and goes.
Sometimes it's even during the night and as I feel it i think ""oh but I've had it before, perhaps last night? Perhaps every night? ""
My thoughts almost feel like they are echoing.
,",2.7937788018433167,4.856527903225806,3.953663594470047,86.43620967741936,76.41935483870971,6.751152073732718,31.71658986175116,7.7094869923839395,2.1824654377880184,615,32,123,9,14,200,85,155,0.027000000000000003,0.906,0.067,0.5679,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,7,0,11,1,1,0,1,32,27,19,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,13,7,0,0,15,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,10,15,2,19,22,1,17,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,4,10,83,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265275914398969,0.0,0.0,0.10104709474180733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249560730852006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187159118016266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751991246837332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410554295040941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884477194368536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250371451411858,0.0,0.10646064012580074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5111163717354038,0.09026897247341856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059816771446982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117364668454404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241274366071938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299725647434813,0.14253542036643155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061731310126108815,0.0,0.0,0.11182135735877148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4743073459441991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609966690943514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313706652817162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503003820017756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499392412590973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096402083179541,0.0,0.3009383858834495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154137397524804,0.0,0.0,0.13916362299677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HourFlan,2019/01/08,"University stress Hey everyone,

​

Been having a difficult time recently with my University course which is very stressful. It's a very hands on, vocational course which involves treating patients. I find I don't naturally excel on the course and so I need to put a lot of work in to do the practical side to a competent level. The academic stuff is same old, done it for years with previous qualifications so thats fine. I feel constantly put down by tutors who seem to think we should be good at something first time, and if not, they seem to take a disliking to you, or discount you as someone who will ever be something significant. I find it difficult to talk to someone on the course about this as I feel like when I do, they try and accommodate me as some sort of special snowflake or something.

It's a vicious cycle where I find my confidence undermined in University and then this makes me deeply unhappy with myself outside of University. Like if I'm not good at what I'm going to do when I'm older, what hope do I have?

I also have severe social anxiety which has plagued me since I was a kid. I find it hard to have meaningful conversations with people and run out of things to say because I overthink situations and feel like I need to try too hard. I avoid social situations, I avoid talking to girls. I've had people ask me why I'm so quiet which further makes me want to reject social interaction. I tried talking to a therapist about my social problems and they effectively said - get on with it, accept it and work on your social skills which is a lot easier said than done.

I know there's a lot here but I'm writing it all down as I haven't spoken to people about it, and when I do I feel like I'm bugging people (body language from them says a lot). 

​",6.09740346568427,6.410012458452719,6.917789602947201,75.06580706781281,66.24928366762178,10.200627643607588,32.66489289125393,10.07000556051586,3.173819375085277,1424,56,270,31,21,474,172,349,0.08800000000000001,0.8170000000000001,0.095,0.487,0,2,3,0,0,0,36.0,1,3,4,7,15,21,1,4,15,0,24,2,2,3,2,58,50,26,0,8,7,0,7,4,0,2,0,5,0,2,23,16,0,2,15,0,1,4,4,9,0,1,7,12,38,12,48,39,7,33,0,1,0,0,30,16,0,13,17,185,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061370275357286085,0.0,0.16629910654119154,0.1864990260362672,0.0,0.0,0.058707157535082176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717430899098616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678100180193853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524268073157885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293046821737401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706671844022305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941722227708975,0.0,0.07332994193152148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552115503823623,0.16447276523095092,0.0,0.0,0.28056193673296165,0.06527641421984086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040094348374597986,0.0,0.043614052171338416,0.12873452177553996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749090210483345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622178108716111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0421752077060047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499683889095676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609720498116833,0.0,0.0,0.10245130387971703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380593251461205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052745965955056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128120090841788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343140153836583,0.0,0.15429312289646227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577312808079563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599777889258236,0.12205609162292755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972544459080347,0.0,0.086696228738077,0.0,0.06348149167651007,0.17252167557962308,0.0,0.3911422749087207,0.13004591383845146,0.1772384303935647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758146175648135,0.0,0.08785083695634308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057700175428503024,0.18504611086374545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910297861121493,0.05098374691554956,0.04917295509758522,0.0,0.0,0.08949735464490788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563076428950379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663980808250358,0.0452642175919036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924740901919169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117376805337305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864990260362672,0.04941911101814536
mentalhealth,sarahbobby,2019/01/08,"“Friend” is consistently rude and it is taking a toll on my mental health. Hello! 

First off I suffer from severe depression and mood instability (not confirmed mood disorder - still going to therapy to figure it out) 

I have a friend, she isn’t my best friend but we have spent time together. We met at work and hit it off on the first day together. 

My whole issue is with the way she treats me compared to our coworkers. 
She rolls her eyes a lot when I ask her something. She is often times short with me to the point that people notice. 
While she behaves this way with me, she is cordial and smiles to our coworkers. 

Why do I get the feeling that this “friendship” is toxic? How should I approach her in a healthy manner to express my observations? 

Has anyone else experienced a “friend” that talks to/treats you like dirt? How did you handle it? ",3.7450931677018637,5.87620931677019,4.432888198757767,83.76374223602488,73.84472049689441,7.3329192546583855,24.54347826086957,8.192908349453996,1.5024583850931683,664,21,126,11,14,212,99,161,0.075,0.75,0.175,0.962,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,4,2,0,4,5,12,1,0,9,0,13,2,1,2,0,19,21,9,0,1,2,0,1,1,4,1,1,0,0,0,9,10,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,3,0,2,3,3,27,7,17,16,3,21,0,2,1,0,24,9,0,2,9,92,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129206089362932,0.16547005266742473,0.0,0.0,0.15097542311252518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947836364769062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041504997930082,0.0,0.13909485254037565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508652366666253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490781228166185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165639896598291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747340341346037,0.0,0.0,0.4990805566491116,0.0,0.08437413579316512,0.0,0.09178096438963744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716609490527481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855815054640022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889798514941525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729672673132948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627483273884756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838623951560429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195985270246224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526643664013708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824426552081396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432624546878765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896960164390844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142365780356135,0.12980304638900608,0.0,0.0,0.18468287093345134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18833731585777966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563734063576104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572353782439315,0.18030268164156768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175698148587358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BadHeartBoi,2019/01/08,"I dont know if im struggling or just overthinking This seems more appropriate for this sub over relationship advice but if I am incorrect please say. Sorry for the long lead up to the actual mental health bit but I feel the more that's said the better it can be understood.

Out of the box I don't consider myself a normal person when it comes to relationships. I like to give my all to someone (after of course being with them for a while as not to scare them off). I constantly try to come up with cute ideas and ways to surprise them or have fun. I periodically (maybe every 4-6 months) write a letter to them to remind them of how much I love them and why they are so amazing ect. I always want to see them with every opportunity I have and could never ever get bored of seeing or talking to them. I could write a big list but that's not the point.

I fully recognise that this may be considered intense even though I try extremely hard to hold it back because with all honesty I feel I'm really holding it back as it is.

In the beginning of my current relationship I thought I had finally found someone who was the same back to me and for a while they were. Then disagreements started to happen and after a while I felt like I wasn't being treated equally after they told me they couldn't trust me and they thought I was controlling.

The reason that they believed me to be controlling was because I compliment them as much as I can and be nice and as helpful as I can to them and they think the reason I do this is because I want them to become dependent on me. This is the furthest from the truth and I only ever want to do it because I love them so much and want to be nice to them.

Because of this I initially ended the relationship along with other reasons like feeling like it was no longer equal between us and I felt almost taken for granted.

The longest we went without speaking was 3 days because our feelings for each other were so strong and after a few months of off again/on again we eventually properly got back together.

However my feelings still remain that I feel like it is not equal and this is where I'm beginning to worry if something is wrong with me.

Lately I have just been straight out rejected, a lot of my ideas turned down and many times I've asked to see them and they have just said no with no counter proposal and it really feels like I am no priority to them.

I feel like a puppy who is head over heels for them whilst I am just a convenience for them. Whilst this is almost certainly not true as they do show a lot of love at times, it's what it does feel like a lot of the time.

With all these rejections happening I'm beginning to lose control of my feelings and abilities to keep it together. I am beginning to get upset by the smallest of things that seem huge to me but to any other person would seem stupid. For one example, I'm getting extremely upset lately that it's always me wanting to see them and never them wanting to make the plans to see me. They are very busy and so am I but for some reason it's upsetting me because I'm able to make time for them and they won't put in the effort to make time for me.

I mentioned this to them and was told me nobody would ever put the same effort into me as I do them because it's too much and nobody will ever be good enough.

Yet when I see them this all fades away and I feel so awful and I apologise and say how amazing they are for putting up with me. We had a discussion about it recently about how I feel like I lose control of my sad thoughts and am always tired when I'm sad and they told me they think I might show symptoms of Borderline personality disorder (I can't remember the symptoms but when they were read out to me I seemed to match quite a few). Which has me confused because it makes sense as to why I feel like I may have no control but I don't want it to be some excuse or label to plant it all on.

Because I don't want this, I want to be happy with what they do for me and to any other person I think what they do might be enough and I'm just being awful and asking too much and I think something must be wrong with me.

When I get down I feel like I lose all control of my thoughts like the logical side of my brain has been overwhelmed by the sad side and is now being controlled by thoughts saying that I'm better and deserve to be treated back the way I treat them.

I feel like I'm in a tennis match between: being okay and thinking straight and cherishing all the things that they do actually do for me 

and

Being sad and upset and wishing they treated me back equally and getting so upset to the point that I'm thinking there is no point to life and that nobody could ever love me.

Im just lost and need to be told that there is either something wrong with me or that I need to shut up and am other thinking this or something.",5.607404426559357,5.20581692857143,6.266504024144872,81.74953470824953,67.34004024144869,9.273038229376258,30.426056338028175,8.738905477910976,2.1595907444668008,3833,126,799,54,56,1258,322,994,0.116,0.71,0.174,0.9958,2,1,4,0,0,1,44.0,5,0,43,20,44,65,1,9,40,3,89,12,3,20,18,210,190,87,0,23,28,0,18,13,0,9,5,6,0,4,58,66,0,10,44,3,0,7,21,24,0,1,33,30,138,41,133,126,32,96,0,11,6,4,83,32,0,26,68,607,196,2,0.03780306405762676,0.0,0.07378067472538911,0.0,0.0,0.036940716680891085,0.0,0.0,0.07570861602484745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436553290880166,0.0,0.0,0.05141475976297805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068152371068805,0.0,0.035517223082913094,0.17440933689857466,0.0,0.23044396974174294,0.041750514215745535,0.0,0.04259110787293844,0.0,0.06686747625111071,0.041271155043177736,0.0,0.0,0.042200721712221126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512798474719214,0.0,0.040851682461749216,0.2967954556028713,0.09054801176008928,0.0,0.0,0.024379848947708616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04332558651391755,0.0,0.033081716107182364,0.0,0.044304909533008516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03348229421118466,0.07812134113505034,0.0,0.024968567280874127,0.17097517853192526,0.06370142380266812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867154756378045,0.2430586486456012,0.07259373961482334,0.041411408875957054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144910852295093,0.0,0.0,0.098752703530901,0.0362641436965964,0.0,0.03170741657731126,0.030234563702507208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685824939924613,0.040242064634463504,0.0338641201171308,0.0,0.038796849907369715,0.04018288934228671,0.0,0.0,0.02533859698343656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535011583257755,0.08166759244119719,0.0,0.0,0.033601100280292014,0.0,0.0,0.02077557537053756,0.0,0.08528700568514658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026701422113324675,0.2400926786964453,0.0,0.0,0.03345452209794858,0.0,0.12687587709356754,0.041266510038100016,0.09641643963429204,0.13647496496867895,0.0,0.10093535521627624,0.03832637352891048,0.037978258923044336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038096597194530485,0.0802061539929311,0.0,0.0,0.06034809013705821,0.0,0.13894800879327215,0.056060985995689684,0.058312106972435135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03703897642598961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025616334556435437,0.028750933687132607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203270961186098,0.0,0.04149641228819469,0.10720834369379344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400756196280727,0.0,0.04020821189641797,0.037813294103636964,0.0,0.04843522167618697,0.155471383770673,0.037325965161277286,0.1623453735844202,0.042823502310371735,0.0,0.07191874146673309,0.09018754152754307,0.03784746191952975,0.0,0.18074488604835412,0.13765795893708468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406082700089501,0.11641058240867955,0.0,0.04231743523007383,0.026757203311291108,0.0,0.030189575788629287,0.0,0.0,0.039519970478213484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858371618116597,0.0,0.0303846709349044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022935199750566,0.16955873919111572,0.03714131849997848,0.15005705109262096,0.11021635328095176,0.04344906107886758,0.0,0.14448979088712938,0.0,0.05133159807366453,0.0411188782715856,0.0,0.0,0.0454724314928144,0.0,0.0,0.031191486904685393,0.20067503962324415,0.06001262532229978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03504381911411219,0.0682227708430624,0.0,0.043471658028170566,0.03644080474606542,0.0,0.0,0.03839084655491714,0.0,0.0537084241672867,0.12399514836779757,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Saraummings,2019/01/08,"How do I get myself out of this?  

I am going through a terribly lethargic and low period in my life. I'm physically achy, head foggy and have low motivation for lots of things I usually enjoy. I'm also getting some (?) anxiety and depression. Possibly this is because I have low self esteem from not achieving much right now. I currently sleep for about nine hours at night and often have a twenty minute nap during the day.

This compares to 7-7.5 hours with a short nap midday usually.

A short summary of the years leading up to this:

My partner left me pretty much overnight three years ago. We have a business together, I still run it with him remotely and am on good terms but obviously him leaving me for someone else was traumatic especially as we were living and working together full time and had been together for seven years.

Since then I've had an 18 month relationship with a very intense person who broke up with me also - I tried so hard with him I nearly turned myself inside out. Since the end of that relationship I've come to realise he's perhaps mentally unwell with OCD and anxiety (he had rules on turning over in bed, how to sit on the sofa without 'wearing' the cushions, how to squeeze the sponge out etc. and would freak out and shout if I got this kind of thing wrong).

I think I was in such a low place post relationship no.1 that I lacked the ability to screen well. I am still on good terms with guy no.2, though don't have much respect for myself for staying in that relationship for so long.

I've been running a very intense business with some extra paid work on the side for a year and a half. The extra paid work has come with some horrible work place bullying. It's been resolved but I still have to work with the person. I can't leave just yet but I am looking for other jobs.

I've also been writing and have published a novel in October, a life goal of mine, with a real publisher. Big shock but amazing. After publishing it I became ill with coughs and colds for about six weeks and now it's three months later and I'm still...meh. Occasional suicidal ideation but only because I'm so angry with myself for not getting enough done, I don't think it's anywhere near serious.

The good news is I'm now with someone lovely who is actually \*easy\* to be with. I was set up with him by a good friend of mine who happens to be a counsellor. We get on well as friends and he's very gentle with my feelings and tries to build my self esteem. My friends think he's 'such a nice guy' and are thrilled I've found someone 'not like the others'.

He seems to like the fact I'm a writer and we like the same kinds of films. And the sex is awesome :D

So lots of good things there.

But I still feel like I'm coming apart at the seams and have no motivation. It's been three months and my to do list can't handle much more low motivation.

I've told the new guy I'm 'tired' but nothing more. He's super, super clever and a high earner as are his friends and I feel like I haven't achieved much and am stupid in comparison.

I'm a club runner and have been forcing myself to run a few times a week and do some intervals on the bike. It hasn't really helped much, I just feel like I'm dragging a corpse around.

The last time I ran was four days ago, I'm giving a bit of a break but it doesn't seem to be helping. I couldn't face going out today, to be honest. Maybe it's a bad idea to skip exercise in terms of mood?

I'm falling prey to a lot of self help at the moment, the kind I wouldn't usually go near if I was feeling normal. Not sure what to do really.

**It's almost like now I've found someone nice and my novel got published I've chosen now to fall apart?**

I am, thank god, able to do an hour a day on my second novel. I think this is keeping me sane. But everything else is sliding.

Tl;dr:  is the exhaustion I'm feeling just because that happens sometimes? Or can some tough stuff in life cause this? How do I pull myself out of this? ",2.768009270418098,4.445294135403729,4.003398535273941,87.76009919347366,75.34782608695653,7.041994993974228,24.685732826550478,7.810910069021173,1.2145414851209797,3109,102,651,45,67,1017,337,805,0.139,0.708,0.153,0.9423,2,0,0,0,0,0,86.0,4,0,0,15,34,52,1,0,51,0,62,14,4,9,3,127,114,56,1,7,20,0,8,7,5,2,8,1,2,9,32,59,0,1,19,10,2,16,15,16,2,9,24,12,59,35,104,83,28,119,0,7,2,2,42,50,0,15,55,418,91,18,0.053164596944260685,0.0,0.0518809775322901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425441484572886,0.0,0.05323666422955952,0.0,0.0,0.12754712690545633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134154228891691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732776282949203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04439021776175976,0.09722593452381892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058041970353246125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05461468592398605,0.0,0.1373897782570565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286030049503804,0.0,0.0457905894452447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05440584102778315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882439762970447,0.0,0.04708805280421857,0.0549332404359974,0.05929257901937315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04778091166050112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128970579452884,0.11394239603930577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658447288624088,0.164299342874604,0.0,0.1111052304622319,0.051000325799499126,0.09064399686612216,0.22295970769814247,0.08504116970936781,0.0,0.0,0.15792392850252815,0.09402655499806403,0.0,0.04762503627099679,0.0,0.05456221445140122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690532601039393,0.05617131561053175,0.0,0.0,0.15706925639270986,0.0,0.0,0.0600163587330891,0.0,0.0,0.052757659035294266,0.04725513652973338,0.0,0.16608823958655047,0.0,0.04333624229380308,0.0,0.11258726360434854,0.05776349013745046,0.0,0.11265518125696042,0.18181475633612196,0.0,0.046945313122350736,0.04704899530337059,0.0446448715872873,0.0,0.0,0.13559591741409704,0.047983124426643486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341098343802298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05357740927316298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273064221832036,0.0,0.23449257570574805,0.0,0.0,0.05134669901833954,0.0,0.0498913727636224,0.05209001709263388,0.05101286462512687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04043407166460072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284255079525794,0.11109137659820853,0.0,0.0,0.05993509492717634,0.05091698782063132,0.05408750810992402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06051295053408279,0.06811720431960291,0.0,0.0,0.22831552329261046,0.0,0.04540227530397613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679810467087238,0.1663868081418713,0.0,0.0,0.08795660796015653,0.0,0.05320299178035602,0.0,0.18018476186093613,0.0,0.05258114579309769,0.0,0.0,0.05666638656787242,0.21228657897598066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086074398280032,0.05815344009376636,0.0,0.050107003442804963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048946817977408984,0.0,0.0,0.1059605875987198,0.13626290811818104,0.05223394656633378,0.0,0.0930021120496851,0.061104883359276996,0.05039382153000467,0.0508010506989906,0.0,0.07219054301871025,0.11565562975406107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565987748926576,0.13159908097808487,0.0,0.0,0.08529086565926708,0.0,0.0956027149286138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05124877427120112,0.0,0.193522298813577,0.0,0.0,0.037766604302398005,0.0581271408403009,0.0,0.1369450294492962
mentalhealth,Craig_jrs,2019/01/08,"Anybody have similar experiences to this? Hi everyone, so bit of a long story but i'll try to keep it to the point.

So basically I started getting into coke here and there at the end of last year and there was one night in where I did a fair bit more then I should of and sent me into a full on panic attack that lasted about an hour, Since that night I've started getting feelings of derealization (I feel like i'm watching my life through a video) and also getting anxiety attacks which I never got before. 

There were 2 or 3 times where I had did some more coke after this all about 3 weeks apart but I never got any relief so I've started to stop smoking and doing coke this year (last time was NYE) but I still feel the exact same and starting to worry I wont be able to get rid of this mindset.

​

Does anybody have any similar experiences to this as I would love to know wtf is going on rn.

​

(Also another note, whenever I go out drinking I feel strangely high as if I have just smoked a massive joint, is this related?)

​

Thanks :/",4.222535211267605,5.276124586854465,5.2935399061032875,82.40228169014085,70.73708920187794,7.745727699530518,29.223474178403755,8.021203637495839,1.913981784037559,839,32,165,11,15,277,129,213,0.158,0.772,0.07,-0.9642,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,15,7,2,1,9,0,16,6,0,0,4,30,38,19,0,3,6,0,4,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,10,9,4,2,5,2,0,3,3,3,0,1,9,5,15,4,26,25,8,39,0,0,1,1,3,13,0,3,24,110,25,0,0.0946425825853153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513712782001067,0.0,0.3076355960698073,0.3450032909641302,0.1287204031809183,0.0992409998794952,0.07240131662962605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533920147527086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053386702451848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20665037593836344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282236180551868,0.0,0.0,0.09271370012611044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382523676380553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043504347904292,0.0,0.18515721251240333,0.0,0.0,0.1914165337862468,0.06761267990943141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19778737268913754,0.0,0.1075751214448125,0.0,0.1513886381158679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999508473974174,0.0,0.0,0.09320387955006014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412267596582332,0.0,0.0,0.05201308827152735,0.2314390097527821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684885499369607,0.04623758526968387,0.0,0.0,0.08375570735961467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541862587637486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598838843987874,0.0,0.0,0.17763130498389396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413226332909873,0.0,0.0,0.11104267878028504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946783172926134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828932232403549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26795402830634163,0.0,0.07558168870744064,0.07912543685564266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871341744125724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037370200197072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425610107314669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591657099736214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611413667567176,0.0,0.06723137524025731,0.0,0.3450032909641302,0.1218934404119716
mentalhealth,YaxYaxx,2019/01/08,"Mental Health in University I just really need to rant here because today was the first day of the semester for some classes at my university, and one of my professors said/did something that really upset me that I think speaks to a problem prevalent with professors in Canadian Universities.

I have been diagnosed with serious depression and an anxiety disorder to the point where last year (2017-18) I had to drop out (losing my entire tuition for that semester) because I was so close to the edge which was related to some medication changes at the time. 

Last semester was my first semester back, and I did much better than I thought I was going to (3 A's and an A-) which was amazing and definitely helped my inferiority complex, but that is beside the point, I just wanted to state that to show that I am not just trying to get my degree, I am more than willing to put in work to learn. 

So Prof hands out the syllabus [for the English Lit course he is teaching] and begins talking about it. We get to the assignments portion: 3500-5000 word essay, okay that's pretty nuts, but fair enough, this is a senior level course. But then he says that he was considering making it MUCH longer, which was kind of a what the heck? But okay, you're an inconsiderate professor who doesn't consider how his students taking other courses; those are a dime dozen. 

Then he gets to the required reading portion of the syllabus (which i had already seen) which consists of 11 books ranging from 150-400 pages and then he specifies how he purposefully chose a number of books that were on the line of manageability (like that's objective or something) for no specific reason just other than he didn't want to narrow it down more, but we have already covered that he's inconsiderate. 

Now here's the kicker and the part which upset me quite a bit because I understand that it's university and some courses are going to expect a lot:

We get to the portion about Mental Health (which is a requirement in my province) and he goes on a 5-minute speech about how seriously he takes everything mental health...

Are you sucking kidding me? 

Like ""huh?"" Times a billion. 

You don't get to assign a pretty insane curriculum for the semester, acknowledge how you are aware that your expectations are pretty ridiculous and then talk about how you're an advocate for mental health. Have you ever even met someone who suffers from a mental health issue? Because your actions definitely don't at all show that. 

It was just so hypocritical and oblivious and (probably unintentionally) cruel.

I'm sorry for the longer post, I just really really needed to vent about this. ",9.593674181427804,8.338821557613173,9.355396314188583,65.62464573268922,59.761316872427976,12.485095723743068,39.03166935050993,11.467429594995785,4.521959312936125,2111,87,358,49,23,688,233,486,0.119,0.809,0.073,-0.9655,0,0,2,0,0,0,59.0,3,6,0,8,26,19,3,2,36,3,33,8,1,7,2,63,55,31,0,7,13,0,1,2,0,1,7,4,0,1,34,21,0,2,7,5,2,4,6,12,0,5,18,7,34,7,57,36,16,43,0,4,2,0,29,18,2,5,20,256,68,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18229321879477914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318562347050392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351113473289317,0.0,0.2013987315712826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304934533239776,0.09017331073463213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737549107757385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326751074752215,0.0,0.07113971192980162,0.08383308135538628,0.0,0.0,0.09466203626703397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534362512761277,0.0,0.054553800921280766,0.0747127037541783,0.0,0.0,0.07423185271148207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405120296595787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21576469599798467,0.0,0.09388228605257563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.438977799759486,0.0,0.0,0.055362278496364326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620864147226667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601090065491684,0.0,0.13465333511758915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070435149628448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240366447960986,0.0,0.07022006501452879,0.0,0.0,0.05513339244143765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320666134437496,0.4161861102700564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143495339314744,0.12248759951085568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596910707788835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944329103470798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615961122050412,0.0,0.07910402311427536,0.2520891165121521,0.08905233033878407,0.07903310402555112,0.0,0.08303167430307105,0.0,0.08785088717837984,0.08261823337728298,0.0,0.21165214737209395,0.08492232277258245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856759781909002,0.06568356033043317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998322258034434,0.12717269009499854,0.0,0.0924593274043804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420364779639513,0.13277488216243136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052924105955416495,0.0,0.06557190406685369,0.0963246457439202,0.0,0.07829123822424754,0.0,0.0,0.05607718197805736,0.0,0.0,0.0859852258109834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097434382093525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06013078563250755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053189039840220116
mentalhealth,mayimzjqocrhoyypisay,2019/01/08,"I need help I worry constantly. I'm only 30 but I keep thinking about death, about the future, about what I haven't accomplished, about how inadequate I am, about how I've wasted my existence. It's impossible to sum up how I feel into one post, but here's a snapshot.

Objectively, when I have moments of clarity, I realize that my situation is enviable. Sure I have a contract job that will end in the summer, but it's a software engineering job. I have experience working abroad, a college degree in computer science from a good university, and I'm not stupid. I know that software engineers have it much easier than others on the job market, and I have a comparatively large amount of money in the bank. So why am I so sure that I am going to fail, end up jobless, then end up homeless or having to leach off of my family? Why do I see myself as being such a complete failure? Why am I so terrified of job interviews, so terrified that I end up failing them, when objectively I know that people with lesser skills are happily employed and performing? Why am I so obsessed with how people perceive me?

Then there's other people and how hard it is for me to like anyone and make meaningful connections. As an example, I work with people that I rather dislike - which should be fine. But why does their behavior, even when it has nothing to do with me, affect me so much? Why is it that when a coworker cracks a stupid joke, kisses ass, or gets a project, it affects me to the point that I start falling into a spiral of intrusive thoughts about hurting them, obsessing about what's wrong with me, and feeling completely worthless? Why can't I just be like ""ugh what a douche"" and then get on with my work, like other people do? Why must I reevaluate my entire existence and hate myself when mundane things happen?

​

Can therapy help? How? If not, what else can help? It just seems like every passing day I sink deeper and deeper into self hatred and fear.

Thanks for reading. I could go on for ever but the rant has to stop at some point.",5.761374045801524,6.449877076335881,6.664464122137408,75.28072671755727,67.04071246819339,9.850340966921124,31.75053435114504,9.888512548439397,3.1095672061068718,1613,63,294,35,25,537,199,393,0.222,0.63,0.14800000000000002,-0.9916,6,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,0,3,8,32,23,3,3,19,0,31,2,1,9,4,61,52,40,1,6,13,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,26,19,0,2,10,2,2,4,4,12,0,1,1,4,42,11,47,44,4,42,0,4,1,2,8,17,1,5,24,217,68,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628217259637297,0.09676264345732287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568114859544049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698708124319395,0.08605483361941121,0.0,0.06358036044071515,0.0,0.0,0.05135660806200264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968725408344603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652303785023843,0.0,0.2821243174243841,0.0,0.0,0.052596754248311915,0.07203248265424783,0.0670941206863513,0.0,0.0,0.07789621928455254,0.07507077505434745,0.08960910888885243,0.08052953535095808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320976723321807,0.0,0.0905143811134675,0.06679226640461472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041907678495732,0.0,0.07133540277260507,0.07862096468208946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012868622490373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524862566797994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160933115269385,0.07078134656405208,0.0,0.0,0.08752827663992341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556183756488219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315555367631299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170786323393108,0.05904675807313917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764098787014244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053961288136842,0.060564379867721625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27603699863886305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055758821880372,0.0,0.07626626914223535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965441168150625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345708083142904,0.07249476667093507,0.08307444224161029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951067325962705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05636454951959208,0.0,0.0,0.06657663827035924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501060598455682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331524022339135,0.09106711765325014,0.0,0.052904534996856836,0.05102552247029225,0.0,0.06321959727012946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5748501741099226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392101565395415,0.08087103672866157,0.0,0.0,0.08706603350952198,0.09676264345732287,0.0
mentalhealth,Rayad_Ayporos_Yorc,2019/01/08,"Work is getting harder and harder to cope with again and it is a crushing weight...what steps should I take? This isn't the first time I've asked for help, but I am so scared that I don't know the route to go. I jave seen therapists in the past, only once was subscribed any medication but it never helped and I eventually just stopped using it.

I need to get something figured out to keep some form of income though without bouncing from job to job after anxiety and sadness overwhelm me to the point I just leave. Some of these jobs I have even liked.

Is there anything anyone can recommend me? I am currently uninsured in the US and am fearful that I can't even afford the help.",4.91,5.746114666666667,5.1192592592592625,85.0766666666667,69.0,7.777777777777778,29.074074074074076,7.793537801064563,1.7024074074074078,540,19,108,6,9,170,91,135,0.162,0.7509999999999999,0.087,-0.8681,6,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,2,8,5,0,3,7,0,13,1,0,1,1,22,23,9,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,7,0,2,2,0,0,2,5,4,0,1,2,1,13,1,16,20,3,14,0,2,1,0,5,4,0,2,9,76,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763032953490433,0.0,0.12107758172035905,0.0,0.0,0.11066740293186167,0.0,0.13024430035506854,0.0,0.14796287533153818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20907421424071268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809990651988364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462600999531985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538108624826434,0.0,0.0899495766385147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182589850679225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711813614646232,0.14067935015451755,0.0,0.0,0.08698210528325068,0.0,0.0,0.1675871052617661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773236630168052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944230325280753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173566194723817,0.12206905795633065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855442397534354,0.0,0.12037292331804235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108845165137227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961811762288282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845779761444834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184545258750995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232240783764965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900078285256482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376589205293875,0.0,0.0,0.15550135283884,0.0,0.09228962639095027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19038162616677728,0.1366961176734163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927325536956437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256847805638554,0.0,0.11522383908624365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thund3r3,2019/01/08,"29 [M] First supposed anxiety 'episode'  This is my first post here, and it's a post I never really saw myself making. To my disbelief, I've recently been told by multiple doctors that I have anxiety.

Two weeks ago I had a normal day at the start of my Christmas holidays. At the end of the day I kicked back and played a few games with some friends online. I noticed about an hour into gaming my vision was blurring a wee bit. I thought, ""Well, that's strange"", and I packed the game in and went to bed. Pretty much as soon as I hit the mattress I felt shaking/tremors coming on and noticed I felt feint in the chest with a pulsating heart-beat. It's a feeling I'd never felt before. This pretty much continued all night, during which I found it hard to remain calm because of what was physically happening to me. It very gradually subsides the next day.

The next day I went to see my doctor. He did some regular checks like blood pressure and listening to my heart, but played it down and said it could be the flu. Basically wait it out. This didn't sit right with me, especially because I felt 100% most of that day, and I've had the flu - it doesn't feel like that. I demanded blood work and an ectrocardiography test. I had those tests done and they indicate I'm healthy.

Fast forward 2 weeks later. I've been enjoying time with family and put that episode behind me. At this point, I put it off as a one-off event - maybe the doctor was right, it could have been the flu. I sense it creeping in again. This time I'm surrounded by family and starting to feel the same physiological effects. Shivering, pulsating heart-beat, feeling faint. Again, it lasts all night and into the next day. It very gradually subsides.

OK, now I'm convinced something is wrong with me. I saw a doctor today and he was pretty much convinced I was experiencing anxiety related symptoms. This doesn't make sense to me especially because 1. I'm a healthy individual (pride myself with gym/exercise/eating habits, 2. I've never experienced this before in my life, and here I am at 29, 3. I can't think of anything overbearing in my personal life that could be the root cause (not ruling out something majorly subconscious but I can't find anything).

Now it's kind of a day-to-day thing. Some days a better than others, but I almost always wake up with the feeling creeping in.

I am treating it as a mental health issue at the moment but still considering other possibilities.

​

My questions for this community:

Does this description resonate with anybody here? Similar symptoms?

Is it normal for episodes to last so long?

​

tl;dr Having some health issues lately which doctors think is linked to mental health, but I don't have anything consciously overbearing in my life and have never had such symptoms before.",4.523677490127248,6.5051868245283035,5.358486178148309,78.59811978938131,71.32075471698113,8.326458973233875,29.306713470820537,8.973190933345348,2.550950416849496,2227,90,402,45,43,725,245,530,0.047,0.841,0.112,0.9852,0,0,2,0,0,0,85.0,0,0,1,6,14,17,0,1,31,1,36,23,5,5,6,77,69,26,0,5,6,0,10,2,1,0,18,2,2,1,38,29,0,1,18,6,1,6,11,2,1,3,27,17,43,15,55,36,14,78,0,0,3,0,12,25,0,8,48,257,81,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05216145104363088,0.0,0.058923534976721974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896272992340251,0.1275143988770107,0.1430032409120133,0.0,0.0,0.1350459673277268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527022492897762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045247226373095216,0.0,0.10761184676889976,0.0,0.15021514084618645,0.0,0.0,0.052042532046739885,0.06424215565948986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604487603206709,0.0,0.05068869685789933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094588484531748,0.0,0.0,0.341544268502658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011454564495645,0.051494579044789095,0.06021760610159629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052118113832806935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094533744609028,0.0,0.14876588904638427,0.04203800053664065,0.22599698580574915,0.0,0.05378213908415081,0.10010496019144904,0.0,0.06451915578550467,0.0454625501833601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203535084653951,0.0,0.05271245918754575,0.0,0.0,0.18764452528221345,0.0,0.2091904497827161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057949259573659866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283521409018172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127673058990773,0.0,0.09593105148540718,0.06637833481065468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468928339461408,0.05749618672070422,0.0,0.0,0.05207488411414171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855734585773118,0.0,0.05911647538960585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860135847942435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977082323188974,0.0,0.18153576991178708,0.0,0.18774304861628147,0.11044178258042232,0.1153088003733946,0.0,0.13398804269574047,0.0,0.0,0.03987406095803285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138010963199048,0.0,0.0,0.05562638196392697,0.06633750843302692,0.1127121301147354,0.17959580424739988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830848178445152,0.06591848863141776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037696825386497816,0.0,0.05810112320633616,0.0,0.0,0.10050451490952604,0.05597389968013765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046890865593767504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060161688819124,0.0,0.0,0.08329984553803893,0.0,0.04699271016471553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834836215001748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03909318561987368,0.07540942270452551,0.0,0.046715379901584315,0.06862455016137635,0.0,0.05577701286334867,0.05622774324868639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057481812259945725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710454456074036,0.0,0.0,0.09440184464221643,0.0,0.05290761544219658,0.1090975273203044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042838964867321465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433642426639047,0.1430032409120133,0.0
mentalhealth,Stewart1776,2019/01/08,Importance Of Mental Health : What Everybody Ought to Know Hello read this,5.5124999999999975,9.157225250000009,4.449999999999998,73.84500000000001,88.16666666666666,9.066666666666668,22.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,3.334866666666666,61,2,8,2,2,18,12,12,0.0,0.815,0.185,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5724380629318893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959650317850737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5427171280932195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.53868124428227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iEmpty,2019/01/08,I can handle depression and anxiety but can’t seem to overcome anhedonia Why is that? ,3.17625,6.225134125000004,5.967500000000001,66.5275,82.75,10.7,33.0,10.125756701596842,5.0851000000000015,70,4,11,3,2,25,16,16,0.236,0.764,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4438933496687469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4997726268813458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5282421959903516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5235897228892769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Professional-Screwup,2019/01/08,I am 26 and can’t afford therapy and I also have many health problems I have no money and I’m currently living out of my friends car.   My wisdom teeth are rotting and have become severely impacted.  I am suffering from a fever currently that’s broken due to antibiotics.  I live in America and I’m wondering if there’s free healthcare options for the homeless.  ,3.2942236024844718,5.910005130434783,5.1847204968944105,75.44739130434785,77.40579710144928,9.160248447204973,31.596273291925467,9.606745405546679,3.8418099378882005,290,15,48,9,7,99,52,69,0.191,0.677,0.133,-0.5106,3,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,7,3,1,0,0,10,10,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,7,4,6,10,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,3,3,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22702170901066504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31352726608319864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21932785853559392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017551202772864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5013490530277531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878135356443346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27163838153300723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207078002878973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246457755197061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078597856083525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LJ359,2019/01/08,"Ive been making excellent recovery, however I can feel myself reverting to old thoughts, does anyone know how to fix it? So I used to be a whole mess, depression and anxiety and on top of that a terrible situation that led me to unhealthy coping and being a bad person. Now I am better and out of that situation and after a few months have really really put in the effort to shake what I could of my depression and anxiety and develop some better coping mechanisms and it's been very good! I've recovered some of my old personality, been more fun and approachable and have not wanted to self harm or think about suicide in 3 months. I felt so good I managed to also keep on top of new things I could never before like trying to not pick my face and clean my house. But I have in the last 2 days been aware I am slowing down and reverting to my old ways. Since it's only been 2 days and I'm aware. Does anyone have any idea on how to fix it? Any reminders or helpful tips are appreciated. Thank you!!",4.789276693455797,5.36619997512438,6.349452736318408,77.07885189437428,69.14925373134328,10.164714887102944,27.899349406812092,10.214889679676881,2.694547340221966,789,25,157,20,13,271,114,201,0.16,0.688,0.152,-0.4528,1,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,1,0,6,7,15,0,1,6,0,18,1,1,6,1,38,29,21,1,3,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,9,14,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,7,0,0,7,2,18,8,25,18,5,28,0,2,0,0,5,10,0,4,14,105,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985868375014334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766902707580145,0.0,0.18861746884422464,0.0,0.0,0.17240025054994776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293351072601792,0.0,0.0,0.10490205745917593,0.0,0.0,0.2180619872138559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968578297419112,0.0,0.0,0.15901058653825495,0.0,0.21236147815761136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157660243579773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233398745079451,0.0,0.11836797204852367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068025490389643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263187308983283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224837482480918,0.0,0.13916792520695362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957677948210012,0.0,0.0,0.06775137188963981,0.10048951741834514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06022829904910959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822902454697923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19680157226853945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508100677588333,0.11906443042284237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880843388907888,0.0,0.0,0.09375986780966312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21528638920864115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393028176935078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15795243490556468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286077516181442,0.0,0.0,0.101978351373287,0.2771433938795913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348481276161516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134995065877402,0.0,0.0,0.08190164282488832,0.07899273883729394,0.0,0.09787041650510776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369891395908856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647419344706252,0.0,0.10171877271168404,0.07271363927215499,0.09785379282565554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763753039700055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,osira_rose,2019/01/08,"Anyone else pretend to have a headache/migraine when in reality you’re actually in pain from being angry at something? When I’m particularly annoyed, a really violent thought appears in my head and my face scrunches like I’m in pain. I’m paranoid that someone will think I’m going psycho if I have a moment of pain and then revert back to the Blank Stare, so I just pretend to have a migraine so no one thinks I’m thinking about stabbing someone because of how agitated I am. By no means am I a violent person, but my intrusive thoughts increase because of my decaying mental state.",6.335178571428571,7.024365732142857,7.507142857142856,69.73785714285714,65.78571428571428,9.614285714285714,40.10714285714286,9.606745405546679,4.204485714285715,470,27,78,9,7,160,72,112,0.257,0.7020000000000001,0.041,-0.956,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,8,8,3,0,6,0,7,6,2,1,0,13,20,10,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,6,2,0,3,2,7,0,1,2,1,8,1,14,16,1,15,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,2,7,51,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.1764500180466651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643052572550378,0.185267029177748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903609473981665,0.0,0.220447117194407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510482966034206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276171629504956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18556905020965947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833740656456478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19696128048609032,0.0,0.0,0.18221967439336084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252538246894175,0.0,0.5772018872254243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788127501188348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583515291323924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064090731743468,0.13920074222204107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34757815494483985,0.0,0.2870949009005032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SirBoboHobo,2019/01/08,"My whole body feels like it’s not functioning normally, and I think it’s all linked to anxiety. I don’t like to self diagnose because there are far too many things to take into consideration and I’m not a doctor or psychiatrist to make such assumptions, but in this case I think I’m right and I’m looking for validation and help. 

I’ve had stomach pains for the last few years and started caring only about a year ago, I was diagnosed with IBS, i don’t go out much because of it, it fucks up my life completely and made me miserable, I’m now scheduled to meet a diet specialist to try and solve said issue. 

I’ve been having headaches a lot, I’m never well rested, I’m always tired. 
It takes me a few seconds to even start peeing for some reason, my whole body suddenly have these weird “bugs” it never had, like a glitches software. 
I’m feeling like I’m I’m holding onto reality, like I’m struggling to stay conscious of my surroundings, I wonder off a lot, I feel so aware of actions, like I see myself from above and not through my own eyes. 
I’ve been reading a bit and it seems like it’s dissociative behavior. 
I’m not sure how to approach my situation and how to treat it. I’m kinda afraid to be honest... 
Has anyone been through something like that before?",3.4447637795275554,4.995359578740158,4.879535433070867,82.69883070866145,73.29133858267716,7.914645669291338,27.660629921259844,8.548686976883017,1.9981644094488191,999,38,199,18,20,334,149,254,0.106,0.748,0.146,0.862,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,10,19,1,3,9,0,13,13,5,5,4,44,44,15,0,1,6,0,3,8,0,0,6,1,0,1,13,13,1,1,11,1,0,3,8,6,1,1,8,7,17,13,28,35,12,24,0,1,3,1,4,9,1,7,19,119,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980921456365002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920767949954006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465350323973228,0.0,0.0,0.07737504515296928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491287447299102,0.0,0.09416229276524764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081049822947465,0.24583345038165025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282378722278792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602340538115898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22463223861129789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326373550119236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308894190440628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785689387983227,0.15810900917837625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230206492786888,0.0,0.0,0.06288981551487886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417210695465755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549879718401775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020150403310308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816142062347012,0.4324975021598357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929253288099212,0.0,0.0,0.1881559182201171,0.0,0.10470781463974488,0.07386545481880723,0.11219042153078812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134678156085906,0.0,0.17069342228925152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842190365770372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416082902625821,0.11774852059438785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068851587940187,0.0,0.0,0.11377544022035845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450181423619368,0.10526164072150247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818055335535056,0.1007394061726826,0.1154410223504026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438486920335293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519037355062259,0.0,0.0,0.15664941094488602,0.11794731213403413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568436401869807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429439272770508,0.0,0.16640294617061005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351663691279964,0.14181108704413495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718574779526462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512990527774996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949534407880688,0.0,0.0,0.2470926833398231,0.0,0.0,0.12000449889354955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252098211974526
mentalhealth,cheesychizzie,2019/01/08,"Am i weird? Hey so this conversation is something I am not ready to have but the one I need
I saw people writing about suicidal thoughts but my situation is a bit different I am always having nightmares since I was little,I had an imaginary friend at 4 to age 7 but she disappeared, in this times she sounded like a friend for me-I was a lonely child-but now whenever I remember or my mother talks about it...it sounds so sick.But it's not only that.I saw things that doesn't exist I know they're not real but I am still so scared of it,I am having hallucinations in day time having nightmares,everytime I sleep-it's causing me to sleep 3 hours per night-I had a few times panic attacks due to the hallucinations I had
The things I see are not sweet,my nightmares aren't random every time in a nightmare I am seeing everyone I know dying one by one they die with insane ways which get me all the time even weaker..I am popular around people but it's only because I am pretending to be normal 
I am suddenly crying in public I can smile and cry at the same time I have kinda big personality disorders but I never give up I always tried to forget the voices,the views I always kept moving forward but I don't know what to do anymore I can't even sleep I don't really have a suicidal thought but I am doing dangerous things without noticing just like swinging out of window,walking on the roof,playing with knifes I am not trying to kill myself but either not stopping doing this things..I wrote it all to feel better not like anyone is gonna understand or anything",3.4676971608832794,5.032798205047321,5.138165299684545,80.8089640378549,73.25867507886434,7.721842271293376,25.613753943217677,8.364918446050245,1.7390707634069391,1249,41,239,21,25,424,168,317,0.17800000000000002,0.706,0.115,-0.9738,1,2,1,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,1,1,11,14,3,2,14,0,36,2,2,1,3,49,53,15,5,2,21,1,1,3,2,1,0,2,0,1,12,5,0,2,8,1,0,3,14,7,0,3,11,8,34,7,28,40,6,30,0,1,5,0,14,12,0,4,19,160,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446795526327948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972087368453549,0.06853732413947332,0.0,0.08066147387817885,0.08725789529968672,0.0,0.1115110237665514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975161235811325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669004280735518,0.10701161156333132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069274906040593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153390413654306,0.06321429392599832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034569694041767,0.1024092322177548,0.11233852868741682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948155293247526,0.0,0.08258542816248497,0.09366157405277413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956146744790517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514588267145586,0.0,0.05121100167912294,0.09402897628808901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965291963231794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844375438796773,0.0,0.1616064148844934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366173278044134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041789284056224,0.0,0.07268001647823745,0.07559847227737279,0.0,0.0,0.09198440662935788,0.09603803319424137,0.0,0.11159554214748378,0.0,0.0,0.19926109945518086,0.14909608149283513,0.0,0.11500444608077437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590838355477675,0.08558661018728965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111567342006028,0.06279362817170238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103667901285068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813434805382773,0.0,0.15621727021071358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108251932331302,0.1101777205012596,0.2942700526407002,0.0,0.0,0.07545999144890674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827828308111731,0.08194846464833379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21443425522984647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878414355410966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535886139162373,0.0,0.0,0.15563263831179766,0.3429348048889491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309724499440825,0.0,0.0,0.10204147446408857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780310174463206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944870391551052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,realsevenofhearts,2019/01/08,"Go support this guy Can i cross post this to get more people to cover...

https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/adkvmb/i_thought_i_was_ready_to_work_but_after_the_first/edhwiic?utm_source=reddit-android",37.32375,48.85405387500001,14.080000000000002,8.365000000000009,10.25,5.7,20.5,7.1686216300943375,0.8407249999999995,186,2,12,1,2,36,14,16,0.0,0.838,0.162,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530734797408697,0.0,0.2752896703913851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796216818261485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358146338132046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463911167173031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5496793740345061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmIAceSexual,2019/01/08,"I want to fit in but I don't want to be anything like any of the people around me, how do I cure this overwhelming sense of hate? To keep this as short as possible, I don't relate to most people I meet. People talk about sex, drinking, gossip and tv. I don't like sex, it just doesn't turn me on at all. I don't drink and I don't watch much tv at all aside from the occasional cartoon. I can't stand drama, horror or really most tv shows. I care a lot about politics but I know almost no one who cares and most of the people who care at all are huge bigots so that frustrates me more. I see something wrong in basically everything. My biggest passion is music but I view the popular music of the past many decades to be mostly soulless cash grabs, i really don't want to hate everything but all the music I like is about hating life because it's the only thing that doesn't come across as a lie to me. And the most common topic of people I know, the one that bugs me the most by far, is gossip. Everyone I know is always gossiping about people, I've heard some of the gossip about me and it's ridiculous. I don't like mocking people I meet personally. I love mocking stupid things public figures have said but usually because what they said is at its core disgusting. I'm sorry but if you don't like someone's wig I don't give a fuck. When people gossip to me I usually defend the person being gossiped about which as you can imagine doesn't go over well. Half the things are just tiny obviously accidental social faux pas, why am I not supposed to bring up how it's not a big deal? 

How do I get this out? I really want to be a loving person. I feel like my hatred of humans comes from a place of love. I get so upset hearing the way people treat each other and then I start to hate the person being hateful and soon I'm hateful too. How do I stop this? ",2.367467616580313,3.925284331606221,4.124219559585492,86.97860913212436,76.15025906735751,6.793911917098446,21.907059585492224,7.531066641456977,0.7873422279792743,1456,38,305,19,32,491,184,386,0.185,0.625,0.19,0.2876,0,0,3,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,0,19,38,13,2,21,0,31,10,0,4,5,54,69,27,0,5,12,0,2,6,0,0,1,4,0,5,20,12,2,2,6,7,1,4,16,22,1,3,3,9,41,16,44,61,15,34,0,1,3,7,30,19,1,11,15,206,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500027986049905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062321760709705326,0.0,0.0,0.05093371895634846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061635290151183277,0.06667576770169464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913151666495804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22909280465330684,0.0,0.0,0.12903728371382725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721732331920232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674452313482225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156896613962059,0.13462833550482273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03787105887853669,0.053507682562993035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924268824584799,0.07826301196014647,0.07184970665038816,0.042566686142709184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4436820606879122,0.0,0.0,0.08441633566801238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657345113310494,0.0,0.0,0.12348718406437262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052903202734954594,0.21955047825972554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367623955642009,0.20279714061692924,0.0,0.0,0.07593557752430465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505919982546923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150666392328632,0.05696387507804637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149933264364115,0.467328268779552,0.261594801003352,0.07825325323752608,0.0,0.0,0.08443708782391895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439461730337443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249172737352858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968460724263994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634984425559213,0.06346146852803759,0.05766071761574145,0.0,0.08384301951028761,0.053013721343749765,0.0,0.0,0.06261870944327551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060200778808031125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927820589619736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814683331922637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16498078486093148,0.0,0.1767088952120845,0.05945114216403779,0.0,0.0,0.06734297198027946,0.0,0.06758447287438292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189002623670365,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,caffeinesardine,2019/01/08,"Should I go to the hospital? I’ve been having a day-long mental breakdown and I’m exhausted. I’ve been having extremely high anxiety, sever depersonalisation and derealisation and was scared for my life more than once today. I think I need to go to the hospital but I’m also terrified of going there and being turned away because I’m not bad enough and wasting everyone’s time. I’m really quite terrified and would appreciate opinions. ",5.056455026455026,7.484578666666668,7.13273368606702,64.53444444444446,70.9753086419753,10.554497354497355,30.08994708994709,10.608840637214634,4.027150264550264,356,15,57,12,7,125,56,81,0.224,0.693,0.083,-0.9084,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,3,0,8,2,0,0,0,13,18,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,3,0,4,0,7,12,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,34,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562118386137188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800023215511162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20632982103104225,0.0,0.18336428544477504,0.13387156682688756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162959357497107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226914732290184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20984574599876715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744264514406837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320288943995885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511628352969553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19434699444364967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213141512411976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162837240686184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23387634569734164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335811317568158,0.0,0.0,0.14068710547439067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21986685237485826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480955843632161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407165364327264,0.0,0.0,0.12805573450416105,0.0,0.20816358967360266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388714561092768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600388465655154,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,therealdeb,2019/01/08,"I started off 2019 by admitting myself to a mental hospital My dad committed suicide this past summer. I’ve been numb to it ever since, and things somewhat came crashing down at the end of the holiday season. I cut myself for the first time early in the day on NYE and had a meltdown. I felt better afterwards, but still wasn’t totally “there” mentally. 

On NYD, I had a very low moment where I just didn’t want to be here anymore. I decided, after dinner, to sign myself in at the ER. After 15 hours in a holding unit, I was transported to a hospital about 45 minutes from that hospital. 

I was just released yesterday and feel so much better about myself. I feel that I am able to tackle my depression and anxiety in a healthier manner. I will also be seeing a therapist on a continual basis. 

I’m happy I chose to do this and can’t imagine what could’ve have happened had I didn’t do it.",3.978200782268576,5.2465474632768405,5.986666666666667,76.39165580182531,71.54237288135593,9.287961755758364,29.43459365493264,9.661875296680813,2.9469725336810075,699,28,128,17,13,244,111,177,0.096,0.8109999999999999,0.093,-0.1254,0,0,0,0,0,2,17.0,0,0,0,3,11,7,1,0,13,0,17,2,0,0,3,22,27,8,1,1,3,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,6,1,1,6,1,0,2,4,4,1,1,11,4,19,3,26,13,3,33,0,2,1,0,2,13,0,1,18,102,27,0,0.18594265210977548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869827171295755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224561991655849,0.0,0.18440514661180446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289023306434997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21266885832585208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846007741834824,0.0,0.0,0.1199176279589981,0.0,0.16015213379771245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646899990661315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819577425102708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803638371654965,0.0,0.17853410572711828,0.0,0.0,0.15816272489572716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442847317563558,0.1979394107604225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18311605703316106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747729182962713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668924413644692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750330128842196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817221965516705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538136833035547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161116620487726,0.0,0.14849404216678222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033910816944356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589375062810864,0.12353203578860895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842465575640807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342216148043747,0.10967379382234142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MPIWP2,2019/01/08,"Who should I talk to about my mental health? Sorry this is probably a really silly question, but I don't know who to talk to professionally about my mental health. I think something is up, I don't necessarily want a diagnosis or meds or anything like that, but at the same time I need to know if there is indeed something wrong or if I'm making myself think there is. Should a regular doctor suffice or would they just refer me to a specialist of some kind like a psychologist or something? Sorry, I don't know my terminology for specialists in medical areas, but you know what I mean I hope lol. I also don't live in a country where mental health is really treated well. So that worries me. Thanks in advance, I appreciate having somewhere to turn about my uncertainty",5.62510204081633,6.7858324965986405,7.0001428571428574,71.05735714285714,67.57142857142857,9.689523809523813,30.346258503401362,9.888512548439397,3.0525678911564618,615,23,108,14,10,210,84,147,0.097,0.7070000000000001,0.195,0.9543,0,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,1,10,9,0,0,7,1,13,5,0,1,0,29,27,12,0,8,11,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,0,0,19,8,16,24,2,9,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,10,3,80,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035587241700934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656501777881096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325456924276623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129478463168581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861976514533308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485122408119235,0.284672713375662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653141061290155,0.0,0.11434824564068355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644026980144885,0.0,0.0,0.14106022366534687,0.14384200184874782,0.1304546289895962,0.39150762976435977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096020403245606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396196954342815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506630487549044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591822045353852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990794096752956,0.0,0.28992263499781584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081696069975568,0.0,0.11922346221918916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595292962050046,0.0,0.0,0.07551075671134891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085557727965045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638070054411962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643337751398053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151051490342153,0.0,0.09199097116532036,0.14158466814087164,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brewmonday,2019/01/08,"Resources for 10 year old having trouble identifying/communicating feelings Hello everyone! Thanks for taking the time to read this post. 

I'm looking for something a step or two beyond emotion flashcards and posters. I want to help my bookworm step daughter gain some experience identifying her own emotions (and hopefully then communicating how she feels to others). She loves to read, and she's sort of shy especially about her feelings, so I'm looking for something she could read or work through fairly independently. Her dad and I would obviously like to connect with her about it, but if we are facilitating a game or flashcards for example I think it would be an awkward struggle for her. I think this is a very common issue for growing young people, and I'm hoping it's just a matter of time before she becomes more comfortable expressing her feelings. But I would really like to help her along because I can see it causes her stress/confusion/frustration. 

​

Any tips on nonfiction, workbooks, fiction books, or even movies/shows that have helped your kids with identifying their feelings and communicating them? I may crosspost this to r/books as well. ",10.773088235294118,10.216966602941175,9.661098039215688,62.13194117647061,56.99019607843137,12.08156862745098,43.43921568627451,11.20814326018867,5.096860392156863,953,47,145,20,10,299,129,204,0.04,0.7929999999999999,0.16699999999999998,0.9729,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,1,1,2,2,8,11,0,2,6,0,11,1,0,3,1,40,30,17,0,8,8,2,5,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,9,10,0,0,7,5,0,3,0,3,1,1,0,8,25,8,25,24,3,13,0,0,3,1,27,2,0,10,9,99,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332575041013858,0.14952048218543088,0.08367892678760709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501077185446688,0.13590020603071906,0.1047073718872031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640731403030694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982462426712442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27683171552475605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127405138600569,0.0,0.0,0.1175805419391153,0.0,0.1203675287455876,0.0,0.0,0.31109151542440416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24743555488567245,0.0,0.0,0.2444348949890696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843331607718614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023304517402815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666376477680826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105836781696417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912136704802304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530809755255488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178488818534637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692530180224515,0.0,0.07882964711432136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805574739367127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946140461581676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095455055312736,0.1286396642341628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251906817546617,0.0,0.0,0.11328886518666695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15769227567427013,0.0,0.0,0.14350410192731936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020298604683552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152999493243547,0.07257869152379996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063766277948768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895826226375901,0.0,0.0,0.2622357848888535,0.0,0.14952048218543088,0.07924083536148346
mentalhealth,runforesterrun,2019/01/08,"I need help but am too afraid of the consequences to get it I have slowly felt myself fade away over the past few years and with each passing day it feels like a part of me is replaced with someone else in my body. 

I am unable to control my emotions, almost at all. I can feel my reactions building and can feel rage fill my body, moving from my toes to my head, and eventually expelling out through either me screaming or causing myself physical harm (scratching, hair pulling, etc). 

My husband is not able to handle my outbursts anymore and has asked me to admit myself due to my last one, but has also stated he will involve the police the next time it happens. 

I am afraid of leaving for a multitude of reasons. 

-I have pets that I am concerned about. He’s very busy and forgetful of their food and water. He’ll recognize before it could even potentially cause dehydration or hunger (the bowls are out at all times), but I don’t like the idea of them having any subpar care. 
- He’s expressed trust issues due to certain behaviors I’ve exhibited that seem to be part of my state. Paranoia, lack of communication, etc. He’s gone through my phone in the past. I’m afraid that while I’m away, all I’ll be able to think about is my privacy being invaded. I didn’t keep a journal for a long time because I was so afraid of him reading it and how any of my thoughts might be interpreted. I want my time away to be spent healing, not worrying about what he might find to try to use against me when I return. (This sounds like he aggressively and consistently searches my personal belongings and that’s not the case. There have been few incidents where it has happened. At the beginning of our relationship we didn’t communicate well but we do always talk these situations through and try to be proactive rather than reactive, this is just my paranoia giving me another reason to not seek help and it’s working)
- My boss doesn’t take kindly to absence. Its an easy job and I’m on his good side so far, but I’ve had quite a few absences due to an increase in migraines on top of an injured ankle/foot. He’s understanding to a point, but I’m afraid I’ve used up what I can of his patience. 
-I’m afraid of finding out I’m crazier than I think I am. I’m concerned about my family history with BPD. I’m afraid that what started out as depression has turned into something more dissociative. I don’t feel as much as I used to. Not just anger or happiness or anything. Compassion. Guilt. Responsibility. I just don’t really live much. I feel like I just go through my days. Watching slightly out of my body as it does the things I need to do every day. Work, eat, clean, sleep, repeat. I’m mean spirited and really negative about others. I’m all about not bullying because I was throughout my life, but I can’t stop myself now which feels horrible. It’s mostly opinions I share with those around me but I don’t like how nasty I’ve become. I liked myself much more when I was avidly trying to improve other people’s days. I rambled in this one a bit, but Long story short, I’m afraid I’m a fucking psychopath. 
-I’m afraid it won’t help and this is actually just me now. I’m just this ball of anxiety and stress and negativity and nobody will ever want to be around me again. I keep saying things like “this isn’t me” or “I don’t feel like myself” and it’s been so long that I’m worried I’m grasping onto parts of me that don’t exist anymore. 
-I don’t want to have an extended admission. I don’t know if this is even possible upon voluntarily admitting yourself but it’s one of my biggest fears. 

I could really use some insight as to what this process was like for anyone who has gone through it. Any advice is greatly appreciated. 
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mentalhealth,lem0nju1c3,2019/01/08,"Feel Like Shit Most of the time, started cutting. It helps. At least for the short term. Idk why but from the last 3-4 months i’ve been extremely down and low. I have suicidal thoughts everyday. Cant cope with it. Literally never felt this bad in my life. I just found out about cutting . Tbh it helps, at-least temporarily distracts you.   
But i feel like a pussy at the same time which makes me feel more worse.  Im 18. I  really wish i could die without anyone ever giving a shit. I dont wanna disappoint my parents by being such a failure and by trying suicide. 


",1.2971565934065945,3.7593754464285714,2.8360714285714286,90.0743131868132,84.71428571428572,5.946153846153848,22.008241758241766,7.321109707123232,0.8842423076923076,438,15,90,7,13,143,83,112,0.36,0.524,0.116,-0.9905,1,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,1,0,0,4,10,4,1,7,0,6,3,2,1,2,22,16,4,3,3,4,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,4,4,10,2,14,10,5,16,0,2,0,0,5,7,2,1,11,54,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504606272925412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373790942200159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313670841949922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076041090504065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928327304290829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883050596163708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249580141822972,0.2350863763896317,0.1579785307038602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804031393942281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783609354799308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22056746726535556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772505354370166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341172450465086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162152950253921,0.160766092818935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982778403307042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313295424815094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268988349495438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826956378605082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540475246652437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377837620234681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164580771645241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599471833518155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062169040552205,0.19188230437773915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170784816136874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846642638220536,0.0,0.18920608578618325,0.15860499326788072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767429628095534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,youtubeslut,2019/01/08,"Looking for therapy advice After about a couple months of slipping into depression, and ruining relationships with my friends in the process, I feel like I’m finally ready to start going to therapy. My only problem is I don’t know how to start looking for a good therapist. I’m a college student so I could start going through my school, but the few times I have stopped in at the counseling center, it hasn’t felt right for me. 

Anyway, is there a right way to start looking for a good local therapist? Any advice on how to go about this? I just want to start trying to get better.",4.104591937069813,5.882431769911507,5.179233038348084,80.29288102261556,72.00884955752213,8.208062930186825,30.254670599803337,8.841846274778883,2.6302180924287124,462,20,84,9,9,152,72,113,0.071,0.778,0.15,0.8385,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,8,8,0,0,8,0,6,0,0,2,0,14,24,5,0,3,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,1,5,9,5,22,22,1,23,0,2,3,0,2,9,0,0,11,56,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25912432650815737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901634848563462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726213854042712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585967044923372,0.1467046328535845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419670796609804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703980611773369,0.09471994634048367,0.12730399933016326,0.14524222049388585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243613537508972,0.0,0.06927106481001598,0.0,0.2260561867494244,0.22241482310383734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286616854532754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477515166570218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340182398569352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582941817225164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083814010047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686754071995685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423484686124778,0.0,0.2264565901727208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418479247168366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4692276511020371,0.0,0.0,0.11084839623533906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032488333413487,0.3078866950761273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731235579651141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090017648373795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820305548025652,0.10524113035597583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,borderlineemo,2019/01/08,"Why is everyone asking "" What mental illness is this?"" Ive seen so many posts here and other subs lately that describe a normal feeling, like maybe just being lonely or something and they ask ""what mental illness os this?"". Like not everything is a mental illness, and if you think something is wrong go see a professional, not trying to diagnose yourself or have strangers on reddit do it. I feel like everyone wants a mental illness to explain their behaviors, when its perfectly normal - even if its an unpleasant or maybe odd thing. ",5.017988304093572,7.824573442105267,5.2950877192982455,75.90005847953219,72.47368421052632,7.590643274853799,30.555555555555557,8.515128840125781,2.910415204678363,427,19,64,8,9,135,66,95,0.199,0.682,0.119,-0.8385,0,2,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,2,1,5,6,0,0,5,0,8,5,0,0,1,19,18,10,0,5,8,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,4,5,4,3,16,0,5,0,1,2,0,6,1,0,5,5,45,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671649750920153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14502993644090612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437723333444972,0.0,0.0,0.2730742728567775,0.12841995912088994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449855046665952,0.204160717923961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120745270838839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118569290335796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942592313395866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144867627233541,0.2871036182169616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5759964361961377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800029398004309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684873869599473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386451141218525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200067904376472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492950116801492,0.09155788620446167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701265904310276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842799883632989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289356391608101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622734667694632,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,venonathalie,2019/01/08,"I need help/ advice about how to live with persistent depressive disorder I was diagnosed with dysthymia (also known as persistent depressive disorder or high fuctionning depression) a few years ago, have been seeing a therapist regularly since the age of 16 and have had a bunch of different meds prescribed. I have had highs and lows, like with most mental health issues, but this low takes the cake. 

When I was first diagnosed, it felt like a life sentence of never being happy. I got over those feelings but now they have come back stronger than ever, I just don't see the point of living if I'm never going to truly be happy. I realise that I'm having a major depressive episode right now but I really don't know how to get through this one. I have been suicidal before, have had many suicide attempts and been hospitalised, I have a long and rich history with my illness, but I've never felt like this. 

I want to get better and be a better person but don't see the point if I relapse, I feel like a waste of space and human flesh, like a burden to my friends and family, I have a few failed romantic and platonic relationships that just make me want to cut all ties with people to not let them down, to not burden them anymore. I know I won't live happily as a recluse and living only for my career, but right now it feels like I won't live happily anyway, so I might as well eliminate the colateral damage. 

I don't know what to do anymore, how to get out of this... I have learnt a lot over the years about healthy coping mechanisms but none are helping in this situation. I don't want to die, but I can't live like this, not in this much pain. 

Does any body have a similar experience or any advice...? ",7.40353819139596,6.392673880597018,7.734697102721686,74.70696224758562,63.92537313432835,11.464442493415275,33.437225636523266,10.718039707386858,3.385942932396839,1350,46,261,30,17,444,170,335,0.206,0.635,0.16,-0.9673,1,0,0,0,0,2,37.0,0,0,3,7,17,26,1,0,19,0,34,8,2,4,5,58,59,30,3,6,17,0,5,7,1,3,6,0,0,2,13,16,0,0,9,0,1,2,15,12,1,2,11,8,29,14,36,41,9,32,0,8,3,0,9,15,0,7,22,183,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553199464324548,0.07044790816105306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355442905706285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808855985669323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763147309096714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110973495365225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762556277994201,0.0,0.0,0.14057459847237366,0.0,0.08827644773710137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684588444071817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737994815550236,0.16132658953493234,0.08248029662401875,0.08303223895543815,0.18216559886011488,0.0,0.06954724806840559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718877649295716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773972094935214,0.0749199532118227,0.0,0.12055161978071666,0.11355087490194235,0.15261284513922904,0.0,0.0,0.0675995864851825,0.0,0.0,0.06140054572879231,0.0,0.12456389047601152,0.0,0.04516626605432494,0.0,0.0635617177550761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920070548034324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447594931710838,0.0,0.0,0.1065379851760362,0.1679349106306859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294903331897474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102864035626022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126639866937159,0.056134041579887294,0.27178502519283904,0.0,0.4210560253774821,0.07033099310258709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756499595721531,0.0,0.0,0.0530487608725877,0.08057302102289687,0.0,0.0,0.08827644773710137,0.0,0.08008996531697161,0.08430816089296007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842170705321222,0.058928129474443376,0.1838831405781972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385287656261867,0.060442702272726676,0.08456474176508043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0550964846380867,0.06939264863685718,0.0,0.0,0.1502551086873908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050912358449727586,0.0,0.0,0.08532412536318162,0.0,0.13573880124989385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998877486243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574078306970302,0.08933084076613176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386085155503356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975371113298265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227413271247656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062548142501807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145565852020691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235585116673084
mentalhealth,MJSinging,2019/01/08,"Relapse? I have suffered with PTSD for a long time now coming up to 11 years, this came along with anxiety and depression. I have had treatment in the past and know how to deal with it now when it sometimes gets bad. Since Christmas my symptoms have been really bad, i'm worried this is going to be a relapse. 

Everything in my life is great right now, but I feel so lonely, I feel like I have this hole or a missing part of me that I can't seem to fill. Nothing fills it. I have a good job, great friends, a great relationship. But for some reason, I cannot seem to fill this hole no matter what I do. 

I struggle to wake up some days, I thought this was a physical thing, but  I feel exhausted every day, my health has seemed to deteriorated and my coping mechanism is dissociating/detaching and its been so bad recently.  I'm trying everything I have learnt from therapy but nothing is helping at the moment.

I just seem to be really struggling recently and I have no one to talk to about it, I feel like a burden. I just want to feel happy and whole, but fear I may never be able to feel this way :( :( ",3.3345701357466067,4.724302547511313,4.697194570135746,84.5404524886878,73.29864253393666,8.095927601809954,26.574660633484164,8.671277953709913,1.8115864253393663,857,30,179,16,17,285,121,221,0.224,0.634,0.142,-0.9537,1,2,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,10,20,0,3,9,0,23,5,1,2,1,40,43,16,0,1,8,0,6,2,1,1,4,0,0,0,14,12,0,0,13,0,0,6,5,12,0,1,6,6,23,8,26,33,4,27,0,4,0,0,5,6,0,8,16,124,37,1,0.10344998681853776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913895676111572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591292536539286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183192255294623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911300355633035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334333665881544,0.10665239393623464,0.08910132206005594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716107565596383,0.0,0.1859483553176891,0.0,0.0,0.11640999597917992,0.3138445299585985,0.1478093825068962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992520319721458,0.0,0.054048348371938934,0.0,0.058793011514856774,0.0867689407920089,0.0,0.3421619270339211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012443461302183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996249844863208,0.0,0.0,0.06934034553233286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265814932256884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685340730458701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306978506950852,0.10108087619772924,0.0,0.0,0.09154998295316834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978700732384875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852610482792069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010038837494338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120262545968543,0.09875471802829476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092749861352588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254542108852166,0.10636381602043116,0.20428876336780985,0.11106657076630898,0.0,0.08834572350190639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767079307592571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557489811896114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023146821728474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629677524594015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752414659696362,0.0,0.08314918078888657,0.0,0.0,0.11830407568274742,0.0,0.06872757449137666,0.0,0.0,0.08212773405825786,0.06032251923664603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023575041430713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061017482522310276,0.08211378433602437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154982158708838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505848319608442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661839977009047
mentalhealth,mischief532,2019/01/08,can't have stable healthy relationships I can't have intimate relationships with anybody. I'm afraid to get close to someone too much and I feel super uncomfortable when I'm with somebody because I've been alone for too long. I tried my best to have at least one deep relationship. but when someone says they like me all I do is being afraid of them stop liking me. Most of them feel sorry for me for that so they treat me real nice and I treat them nice back. but it never feels like comfortable. However when I like someone and act very friendly to them. they ended up not really liking me. I think I try my best to not show them my insecure side but when I want to be someone's best friend that never works. I clearly have BPD and am working on it SO HARD but now I just can't have any kind of relationships without fear of people leaving me. I guess that's just my life. It sucks I want attention from anything so bad. but at the same time I can't take anybody seriously because I've never had that experience. ,2.8919607843137283,4.87737525490196,4.1005882352941185,85.84931372549022,75.86274509803921,7.082352941176473,25.058823529411764,7.984000788550335,1.4043941176470591,808,28,164,13,18,264,109,204,0.138,0.597,0.265,0.9877,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,8,6,13,24,1,4,1,0,16,1,0,0,5,34,28,16,0,2,10,0,4,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,5,1,0,1,10,7,0,1,2,5,32,17,21,24,8,21,0,0,0,0,15,7,1,2,18,113,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183166207435632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342809829869491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885591385479559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302768824255194,0.0901563285197906,0.13164361782915446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33994576440511715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599331753706154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563561910776444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105622276384297,0.0,0.12150420331742427,0.16378932606857588,0.07713882778396852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668456056161651,0.0,0.05641355327191646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894889661991866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672623006399766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244148408104232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433210779833215,0.0,0.0,0.07626738534579068,0.2637606682683181,0.0,0.0,0.09555629350281898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937555748671926,0.0,0.2498356780726873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316804515020249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485769253067617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290152477585704,0.0691728646550839,0.0,0.0,0.463707779822355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586768592171913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659544242783369,0.0,0.0,0.12087146991047362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027365066899656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118530546806567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691873352328299,0.0,0.0,0.0629622875621399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466186615111325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890923764723639,0.12737532614697716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408602530919042,0.0,0.15721716024355242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Topherrr57,2019/01/08,"My (29m) mother (49f) may have borderline personality disorder. So I recently had to move back in with my family due to relocating to a new state for a new career, I don’t plan on being here long, but in the week I’ve been here I have seen sign after sign of BPD. Usually I would just leave, but my mother also has 3 other kids who still live here (16m)(15f)(10m) and I don’t know how to approach the situation to have her seek help from a mental health professional without her lashing out or scoffing at me. She is psychologically and emotionally abusive to everyone in the house including he new husband (34m) and I just need guidance on how to get her help but also protect my brothers and sisters.

TL;DR - My mom may have BPD but I need help on approaching her about getting help without being screamed at or ignored.",5.733812499999999,6.273634756250001,6.94875,73.74125000000002,67.0625,9.9,33.5,9.888512548439397,3.2697000000000003,651,28,122,14,10,221,100,160,0.07200000000000001,0.8059999999999999,0.122,0.8459,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,13,2,0,0,6,0,15,1,0,2,0,27,21,15,0,3,10,6,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,2,6,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,3,2,18,0,24,13,0,24,0,0,1,0,19,9,0,4,11,87,20,2,0.0,0.16300517076368842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22003909991142465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578752161359432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465445400871278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767411887225036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475458470036876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314598502714178,0.0,0.0,0.12969449426832266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375565819966973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623695097009098,0.0,0.0,0.3688574142246428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874433724410156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560822147349938,0.0,0.0,0.14567321553637064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148220851919656,0.12175051092249616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386443410927409,0.0,0.0,0.1611274545719631,0.0,0.14622161188454036,0.0,0.2040218559335707,0.0,0.3986155368052215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012613576320795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583979217384984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464129005754962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098684436751952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152062720291531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035524142524916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652368838670359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773010751826383,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,titanlord1,2019/01/08,"Anyone have OCD where they need to constantly check their surroundings? Especially in crowded environments?

",10.893999999999998,15.925321400000005,8.575000000000003,46.9425,68.33333333333334,13.66666666666667,40.833333333333336,11.20814326018867,7.900333333333334,91,5,9,4,2,27,15,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4707203167518914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.727495024100088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4991726888628939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cryptomir,2019/01/08,"Pooping Disorder - What Mental Illness This Could Be? If a person feels urgency to defecate every day in the same time, even if there is no organic need for that, what disorder that could be?  


For example, a person poop every day in the same time, if all conditions are there. If he/she is at home in 9 AM o'clock they feel urge to defecate. If the same person isn't at home at that time, they can delay bowel movement for hours without any problems. Also if that person travel for the whole day they will have one bowel movement. So there is no real need to poop, it's a mental thing. Just like a bad habit.  


Could this be OCD? Something other?",1.835238095238097,4.337793476190477,3.1850793650793685,88.25714285714287,82.49206349206351,5.504761904761906,21.698412698412696,6.868970318607317,0.7327365079365079,502,16,95,6,14,163,71,126,0.145,0.8190000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.926,2,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,0,8,0,15,6,5,0,1,22,19,8,0,12,8,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,2,4,11,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,2,3,1,14,12,5,18,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,6,10,72,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936779755781104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300223373974632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418980107597244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275778159113331,0.0,0.0,0.26459877523424685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134801245754626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903294128420502,0.0,0.2304542405084352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830103679693564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27436505644195536,0.0,0.13468212928423826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681456251762359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27564603264185056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20281323679376784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267285678104496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4776580490591443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086189708420232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556640659230941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105285371796561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085799401968138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23923948135589945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268887756539867,0.0,0.13183281440122127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shattered_Persona,2019/01/08,"Rant about friend So I have this friend that I've known for 10+ years. We get along great but we butt head on a lot of serious issues. He's got depression and adhd, not sure what else. I don't understand what his logic is but he apparently believes that nobody has it as bad as they think and can deal with it on their own. I tried to tell him I had misophonia once and he told me it was made up. Now I didn't meet him before he was 16 and he's never mentioned anything trauma wise. I know his family well so unless he was raped as a little boy, I just can't understand what he thinks he's been through. He just seems to look so down on anyone who's so depressed they can't function. Great friend but he really makes me mad when he downplays how bad your quality of life can get. This is really just a rant but geez, he makes me feel like my problems aren't real even though I dont discuss them. ",1.899168848167541,3.39301078534032,3.3368291884816763,92.40116001308904,77.27225130890052,6.869240837696338,20.31446335078534,7.6454224807358475,0.4470232984293197,704,16,162,10,16,231,119,191,0.22,0.6709999999999999,0.109,-0.9826,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,1,4,0,14,18,2,0,3,0,17,4,2,4,2,35,32,19,0,1,9,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,11,8,0,0,9,0,0,0,8,9,1,0,9,2,23,9,18,23,2,10,0,2,1,2,34,6,1,2,5,97,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439098410522465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956444133889497,0.0,0.1125637665174506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284222956764869,0.0,0.0,0.1163953731734274,0.15411172488887254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102104057407958,0.23562830030702814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031294723647496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142677026701629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034629911809104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895028970926814,0.0,0.06916344546956578,0.09772041750978894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170431034967131,0.0,0.14293076877914632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940078800853263,0.30161555194597744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038257650673638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276973515111066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751743712669812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661646349154826,0.06682705290265681,0.13709616885009793,0.0,0.0,0.1148663441220507,0.0,0.0,0.11629112712144045,0.0,0.12943084541867905,0.1826123159446498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549830511847673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567332907559047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088636054574676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569316592833174,0.17525807452956252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452543826615932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128919808608542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955757029195978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529473754194086,0.1343921993237358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070551586072024,0.0,0.09286916348871424,0.0,0.0,0.28479947500139563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298763510296976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808612456064538
mentalhealth,whoretilla,2019/01/08,"What should I do? I want to ask my mental health specialist about these symptoms but Im worried that they are just normal and Ill waste the visit. 
I have manic depression and take a mood stabilizer to treat it, my concern is usually only when Im in a “low” phase. My mind creates little voices that tell me awful things such as what negative things others think or say about me (which usually i never hear those people the voices reference actually say these things), crushing any future plans, rude remarks in general (“you suck!” but about 7000 times worse), etc. and I don’t know if its normal or something I really should mention to my doctor. Does anyone have advice on what to do? and maybe even what this could be? thank you.",5.163260869565222,6.639784601449275,5.610840579710146,79.41495652173914,68.92753623188406,8.418550724637681,26.118840579710145,8.841846274778883,1.9916353623188408,577,17,103,10,10,185,97,138,0.239,0.695,0.065,-0.9852,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,1,1,7,7,2,0,4,1,11,4,0,0,1,22,19,11,0,7,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,17,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,5,15,2,11,15,1,12,0,2,0,0,10,5,1,3,6,74,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.14661691215386222,0.0,0.0,0.14681713965511195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217137947894696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505441421355044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404582811334059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199579694398164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940532637397786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378156305036622,0.1314799324467735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756227933540313,0.09923504357348943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970282675550154,0.16933641686660372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245795805293181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257042160119615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058441156305988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509407462862494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141106976918045,0.0,0.15170406666668304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158777836785234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944153261341513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426767603948901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416058549355063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625044319643004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389608372424083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566551944882132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616151322743665,0.11296512977021216,0.0,0.13132027336233673,0.13832490544609208,0.0,0.0,0.2994472136548303,0.09627057825268807,0.0,0.0,0.08760874820978873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309460750589809,0.0,0.08861807050400453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258053407087502,0.15311193235634218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CooGuyGeorge,2019/01/08,"How much does therapy cost? I’ve been thinking about talking to my doctor about my mental health issues, but always use tell my self that therapy isn’t worth the cost. How much does it actually cost? Is it usually covered by insurance? ",4.301590909090908,6.7660759772727275,5.327272727272729,76.46090909090911,73.31818181818181,8.945454545454545,29.181818181818183,9.516144504307137,3.143063636363637,189,8,32,5,4,62,33,44,0.0,0.934,0.066,0.4386,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,3,0,5,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,19,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.21168820347135356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804995703408048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22203265865390934,0.37966630565762094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305818884638022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22641408476083816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186100967088827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189307169320088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263008278577872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435667069238073,0.18960263409631367,0.0,0.4961469149709344,0.0,0.0,0.13899723748153608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735416659878093,0.2389130252641388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skylarstanley99,2019/01/08,"i dont have any motivation to do anything currently now, i am unemployed and i dont do anything. i dont leave the house unless it’s completely necessary, even then i sometimes dont go. i have medication that i need to get from my doctor but i get so nervous on the phone so im just leaving it. i cant even bring myself to write applications for jobs because it takes up too much brain power to do it. i spend my day in bed mostly, only to leave it for toilet breaks and food. i dont know what i want to do with my life since everything bores me. i only speak to my boyfriend and my mum and stepdad who i live with. i very rarely wash myself. i dropped out of university because i couldnt get to my classes and i couldnt handle the stress of assignments. i dont really know what i should do and whether im depressed or just lazy. am i depressed? ive been diagnosed with bpd but i dont really believe that i suffer from it. and even if i am depressed what can i even do with my life when im taking so much time out to mope around. the longer im unemployed, the harder it will be for me to get a job. ive spent my time getting therapy and being in mental hospitals before but obviously this hasnt really worked and where im from it will take probably over a year for me to even receive any form of treatment unless i attempt suicide. im just kinda lost in what i should even do. i dont want to kill myself because of my boyfriend but tbh if we weren’t together i probably would have done it already. does anyone have any advice that they could give me? (im from the UK)",2.1763963963963997,3.571567540540542,4.138318318318318,87.35990990990992,76.29729729729729,7.455855855855856,24.94594594594595,8.167268648758528,1.3820882882882883,1233,42,271,21,27,421,153,333,0.14300000000000002,0.8240000000000001,0.033,-0.9891,9,0,0,0,0,2,24.0,1,0,1,5,17,9,1,2,8,0,40,8,1,1,1,46,58,24,2,11,13,1,0,0,0,5,6,1,1,0,18,17,1,0,3,0,2,3,13,9,0,0,5,1,49,0,39,43,4,23,0,5,0,0,9,10,0,5,8,190,67,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120052915595014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911287930163823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777001043734518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043791792669036614,0.0,0.10307699008685764,0.055753265941989386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114534536599458,0.0,0.05329283613165827,0.07056166131477203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887928465039377,0.06991489964478477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566552437110043,0.0,0.0,0.050004319818761966,0.0,0.0,0.04039065265655018,0.0,0.16182731392853675,0.06356731941545121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410363977407611,0.054807234754971235,0.06409141574148958,0.5872076453847973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481959746026095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628708638428606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573147694151726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636058597314149,0.06007963523802369,0.03559361751035889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226568775815899,0.0,0.0,0.4735519807085161,0.0,0.12429963382248176,0.0,0.06928993023926228,0.0,0.06883874057884426,0.0,0.0,0.19894583878902136,0.0,0.0,0.0884737119026809,0.0,0.0,0.05530273080242439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836716982422464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309232982560921,0.06311550280648508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092079336053734,0.046438758045472726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526465718464797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504974016971535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036560722311697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05180752122834431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06194187998065059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174153671559612,0.0,0.0,0.0685061793998198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412680917435414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716219481069479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303918005383622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516756488569996,0.07388064936239258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04559480333067879,0.0,0.0,0.044489986585323577,0.0,0.0,0.040331151262248066
mentalhealth,Minimgr437,2019/01/08,This is my first time admitting to anyone besides my wife that I am depressed. I've been dealing with this in silence for a long long time. A while ago I told my wife about it and she has been very supportive but recently i feel like it's been getting worse. I believe it all stems from having very low self esteem. Honestly every day I feel worse and worse about myself. I cant figure out why. My wife is urging me to see a doctor. The issue with that is due to some health issues a few years ago i dont really trust doctors any more and the idea of taking antidepressants just makes my anxiety go nuts. I'm scared of going to the doctor and I'm afraid of what will happen if i dont do something about this soon. Thank you all for listening to my little rant. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.,2.740201577563539,4.564125233128833,4.080775635407537,86.54265337423315,75.80981595092024,6.865731814198071,22.07230499561788,7.7094869923839395,0.9048758983347942,635,17,129,9,14,209,104,163,0.185,0.72,0.096,-0.9427,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,5,10,0,2,7,0,16,4,0,1,2,20,32,7,0,2,3,3,2,1,0,2,4,1,0,1,9,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,4,4,18,6,18,25,5,19,0,2,1,0,10,4,0,2,14,83,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935760880084788,0.21654640131573047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16612408566381606,0.0,0.09343975180879527,0.0,0.0,0.08540585727224112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761435209302691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787727130055825,0.12592500112551555,0.10520236505338773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750583825526009,0.0,0.0,0.2863034903019767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102911506671295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351925518553347,0.08725962902281853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389554186855604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381514824353464,0.0,0.13883439026426733,0.0,0.0,0.13466408474811425,0.0,0.0,0.10801145042527972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983325764996295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788559957638194,0.0,0.2549730024173098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059673341493756527,0.12242027960135217,0.0,0.21618702179927207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153200400894545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824851221686177,0.0,0.12060236909638496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228735551936375,0.0,0.09733287701694228,0.0,0.12742272988310796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403234427908017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860745415261494,0.0,0.0,0.09183701439030544,0.0,0.0,0.11245369573629392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424461847018671,0.0,0.0,0.1167137340986091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20156302456427624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021587458545902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734252179519396,0.08676752452376049,0.0,0.0,0.07865666916997907
mentalhealth,_OngoGablogian,2019/01/08,"Scared for therapy, need advice the title is pretty self explanatory. I start therapy in 6 days and I've been desperately looking forward to it, but now I'm actually really scared to start seeing them. I keep having these ""what if it doesn't help"" ""what if she thinks I'm crazy or a horrible person"" thoughts. I feel like I'm stuck in this negative mindset and just can't get passed it, even though I'm glad I can finally see one simultaneously. what do I do??",3.91,5.442655384615384,5.818461538461541,76.50153846153849,72.07692307692308,9.595604395604397,27.285714285714285,9.957137785484203,2.690578021978022,364,13,72,10,7,126,66,91,0.262,0.647,0.092,-0.9541,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,12,24,7,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,8,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,3,4,7,2,5,21,0,9,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,3,7,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.1868464282145229,0.0,0.0,0.18710159518598096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348186603724301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646367443587314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681263688835476,0.13678571437156914,0.0,0.2097452717694148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003481263869256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833784347849594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018672151801614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354223409576484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607859988564956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419720683561933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297445607168232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718361746000845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947931242250294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226601437796277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38338836574590623,0.0,0.3051525032525859,0.0,0.19974424976845295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27104592829125457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4379236887638789,0.0,0.0,0.1226858035980514,0.18811762637651488,0.15200524597757414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,waysg719293,2019/01/08,"Looking for encouraging words from strangers please Going through a hard time. I have to make an important phone call. I am doing the ostrich right now. I have really bad anxiety when it comes to making a phone, especially when it’s important... I don’t want to give details but it’s about my physical health and I am so worried. It’s stupid but can someone just tell me I can do it and that it’s just a phone call and it’s going to be okay ? I have no one to talk to right now.",0.3520666666666692,2.6393651400000024,2.41,92.62666666666668,87.6,6.133333333333334,21.333333333333336,7.492282038375204,0.8121333333333342,374,13,84,7,12,125,60,100,0.16899999999999998,0.742,0.08900000000000001,-0.8729,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,8,4,1,0,5,1,11,1,0,2,0,12,19,8,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,0,2,9,2,10,18,0,10,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,0,5,57,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435045572654533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938072757540646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387471666176336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506388440086466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20609215295127345,0.2441947337054209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245261879422365,0.0,0.0,0.2283627112676564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804097828674565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868120207037496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557976561159985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23582757171322324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763070207079556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669408977138247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182031511165844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267861891574615,0.1877778513923513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527374548342854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267169984322501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181783826559082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anxietyboy0911,2019/01/08,"My life is a mess Background info: 17, male, in the UK. From age 11 I was diagnosed with anxiety, social anxiety, suicidal tendencies, and depression. I was forced to go to therapy. In therapy, my therapist sounded bored and like she didn't want to be there. I was bullied all throughout secondary school. I had my head hit into lockers tables and chairs. Due to this, my anxiety worsened and I couldn't talk to people normally out of fear. this created a cycle of people who didn't know me thinking I was weird and my anxiety worsening.  
When I was 16 I took my GCSEs and failed all but 2 of them. When I went to do a college interview I was told I was doing a photography course (i really enjoy taking pictures of things). However, on my first day, I'm told it is an art class and I need to be able to draw. I hate drawing and I'm awful at it. due to this, I haven't shown up in weeks I want to drop out but I have no options left. my lack of GCSEs stop me from being an apprentice or get a job. I don't know what to do.  
I am on medication and have been in therapy for 6 years. nothing has ever helped   


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mentalhealth,Suicide_Bomb,2019/01/08,"Can you please telm me what it is? I dont know what it is but i am definitely sick. I don't know anyone who shares the same Symptoms i have so plz if you know what it is  tell me.. Its like an attack, it happens randomly and my heart starts hurting so much gradually until i can't breath, my legs and arms starts trembling and i lose strength. I am sure its a mental illness because my heart is healthy and my pulse is normal. 
Plz if you know what it is tell me. Thank you ",-0.024733333333333718,2.16897706,1.7020000000000015,97.70266666666667,88.4,4.533333333333334,19.333333333333336,5.985473137389443,-0.2866666666666662,366,11,86,3,12,119,58,100,0.181,0.5870000000000001,0.232,0.5207,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,2,2,9,1,1,3,0,13,8,5,0,1,15,21,10,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,12,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,18,5,1,21,2,3,0,2,0,0,8,0,0,3,4,58,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985832574823955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21128100681795586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113211953326225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176600826567432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642297912794868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4401533873487489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198814932536948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082629667959092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073242123758653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20777090835917472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18716003670257547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652408005212704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819641830979408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386256565714356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629042761078145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503699284147586,0.19303208538010028,0.0,0.0,0.3246513906777771,0.17098415868560576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ebec20,2019/01/08,"Could use some help/advice? I've been dissociating a lot the last few days. I can't really feel what I'm feeling even though I'm crying and anxious. For a moment I didn't fully recognize my cat which was scary. Like I wasn't afraid of him but I was looking at him in pieces and couldn't see him as a whole. I'm not sure what's wrong or why this is happening, I feel a lack of control with this. The thoughts in my brain are slow and muddled and nothing's coming out quite right. Sometimes I'll shake my head and for a little bit it's okay but then it's gone and I'm back to disconnected.

What do I do to snap out of this weird state? I don't like it but yet I feel safe so maybe it's some sort of protective mode. But nothing bad is happening so I don't know what it's protecting me over. I don't want to talk to somebody IRL, I don't want to make a big fuss over this. Its just my brain being a little annoying or maybe a bit worrying but it's nothing to cause as panic or anything.",0.5146850998463925,2.2811865207373287,2.578248847926268,94.98261136712748,82.41013824884793,5.976651305683564,20.010752688172047,7.07126945348624,0.1816734254992327,773,21,187,10,21,260,115,217,0.155,0.767,0.078,-0.9161,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,7,12,1,3,10,1,18,3,3,4,1,41,38,20,0,5,10,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,16,10,0,4,6,0,0,3,9,7,0,0,7,6,19,5,22,28,9,22,0,0,2,0,4,11,0,7,9,115,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227507868302094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191065483829782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033715052120699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965911748084268,0.10488435692321273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742809133187304,0.0,0.0,0.2804586516134093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904253460624224,0.0,0.10820731283374316,0.0,0.0,0.1408893529814126,0.10029438776618324,0.0,0.1379835984058969,0.08101211644009437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296837622903393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540614865702295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216414453304728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891855601509386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419795272946991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903542899867443,0.10239404386003352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273955041053675,0.25180105057422136,0.0,0.0,0.10548604810823546,0.0,0.0,0.10679447947833053,0.0,0.0,0.08384985041582657,0.0,0.2523968988212202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36159666053450973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738365325935435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360838908342576,0.0,0.0,0.0804730133203272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727562711373864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009992122255718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242377249058152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839186871426292,0.0,0.0,0.10096561734455607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341736921801907,0.0997253044663769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849214439346,0.0,0.0,0.1481834873952031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334916527289435,0.14024610413428396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756944220661606,0.0,0.0,0.13734169585606207,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1919am,2019/01/08,Can someone please message me Can someone with an emotional support animal please message me? I have a few questions that I can't find the answers to anywhere else. ,7.1080000000000005,8.490045133333332,6.780000000000001,73.17000000000002,64.33333333333334,8.666666666666668,45.0,8.841846274778883,4.634,134,9,20,2,2,42,24,30,0.0,0.7120000000000001,0.28800000000000003,0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23140033950765754,0.3115909261355637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531755893733673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6081319005437822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103065905160122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4694072369907472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143395550280279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DistinctEfficiency,2019/01/08,"Total Burnout Sorry for the formatting as I’m on moblie.

Hi guys. I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I am in the midst (maybe even reaching the peak) of a burnout. I’m 19 years old, working 10 hour shifts, 5 days a week, and getting home at 9pm. I’ve recently tried to get a new job as I’m just so tired of working such long hours and getting home so late, barely ever seeing my significant other. I went in for a trial at this new job and they said they would contact me soon to let me know if i got the job or not, they haven’t contacted me yet but i find myself hoping and praying that they don’t want me. I’m also having my own inner problems and my significant other is in a really dark place right now which just has me terrified, i just want him to be happy. Anyways, i am just so mentally tired and it has been causing me to be extremely physically exhausted. I don’t know what to do as my two days off don’t do anything to refresh me as there’s always something that i have to do on my days off, I can’t have more than a few days off as I’m a casual so I don’t get paid leave (I’m having a few days of holiday at the end of the month but I’ll have to save up to be able to do holiday things and still be able to afford groceries when i get back). Any advice is welcome.",3.5662453066332915,3.2661011063829797,5.441113892365458,85.5979411764706,71.6241134751773,8.762953692115145,27.22653316645808,8.4952907291091,1.5941912390488109,1000,30,234,15,17,348,143,282,0.079,0.782,0.139,0.9306,4,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,4,4,21,8,0,0,14,0,30,3,0,1,2,29,52,22,0,6,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,1,10,7,0,0,4,3,1,1,8,2,0,1,5,2,30,6,36,41,5,42,1,0,1,0,11,16,0,3,25,159,40,7,0.2137867824368728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445498476103708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548260633786504,0.08894386454477281,0.0,0.0,0.0726911715591099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796415306557433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821944197117101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980895792110204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34468697133136666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946758169801022,0.0,0.0,0.07060207676419457,0.09669119211921604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769862303658948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792369252480525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549240985450783,0.0,0.0,0.10584126306127917,0.0,0.1137900026265586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144455738929594,0.1061692565189242,0.2105369166324174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31822559059035915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623743692989954,0.0,0.12058040124279434,0.11318466711306514,0.0,0.10930573476968217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945972874894614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738877892722096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077233967542521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532128504811738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064766066672942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216663267991044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168084272468934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228253912822936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847864357624478,0.0,0.10554432811340277,0.0,0.0,0.1825727440899557,0.10168009338901864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518019326707874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229175489854597,0.0,0.1196583999782028,0.0,0.0,0.08536520030686577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101521936863595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457164571050225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257359597083715,0.0,0.10441931100318406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609698330580438,0.0,0.08574343072546659,0.0,0.0,0.09909124457855073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556393238023334,0.0,0.0,0.07593399820035543,0.0,0.0,0.06883583930717731
mentalhealth,Beansandheck,2019/01/08,"Is it an illness or an overreaction?  I havent been ok recently. I am not sure what exactly caused it or if i have had it for awhile and dont know for sure but i am pretty sure i have chronic social anxiety. I say pretty sure because I keep questioning my every thought. It is a bit strange coming from someone who thought that it wasn't very likely that anything like this could happen. Someone who always thought that there was too many people who had social anxiety. That they were all the same cliche ""i don't want to talk to people because I'm a shy loner."" I didn't think it would be as much of an impact as it is. I can barely even remember my old opinions or what i even did to cope with anything. I have had a harder time getting closer to others, i worry about everything i could relating to social environments. I worry that i could put others at blame so i got into the habit of using language that could be shifted to put the blame on me instead. Using words like ""probably"" and ""i think."" ""Maybe"" has to be my favorite. I tense up more and more often when talking to others or even if they are in the same room. I can't even have peaceful alone time most of the time because I am worried someone is with me. It takes a stupid amount of courage to do the things i love to do when others could be around. Even if that thing will calm me down. I shouldn't feel that way. I know i shouldn't but it only seems to get worse and worse. I am afraid to talk to much of anyone about it because I am afraid they are not going to understand or will try to help in all the wrong ways. It seems like every time i talk to the few people i can about it i have a panic attack. I had one just writing this. I want to get help and reach out and fix this. But i can't. I hate that i can't. I just keep getting worse and worse and i don't know what to do anymore. However every day I'm learning more about it so maybe one day i can get the upper hand. I try every day and try to think of new ways i could possibly get help. Yet i am still chained up. With nowhere to go. For all i know i could be looking for a light that doesn't exist. But i could not be having any problems at all. I could be just over reacting. I am sure other people have it worse. So pay attention to them. Or do they? 

This is my first attempt at reaching out. I do not know what to do after this.",1.1851614970520394,3.0253105000000042,2.8065974536443647,93.81284926941812,80.54618473895582,5.523438434589422,20.836708536272763,6.462258747201003,0.1412470648551647,1831,51,412,16,47,602,195,498,0.182,0.711,0.107,-0.985,1,1,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,5,2,24,21,3,3,18,1,70,4,1,4,10,94,108,29,0,18,20,0,2,4,0,5,2,1,1,0,43,17,0,2,19,0,1,5,16,8,0,3,14,5,59,13,57,73,15,41,0,0,1,1,22,17,0,15,20,308,102,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060510877805595824,0.0,0.0,0.04861443929284688,0.0,0.0,0.03973113339489978,0.0,0.08939022246333292,0.0,0.05794209019821586,0.04085225203112474,0.0,0.09615790816016148,0.05201080688872792,0.0,0.0664670893466677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424618167089398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378517662793054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600187651614686,0.0,0.05032812876420235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198298485261287,0.0,0.0,0.11303824448321947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847388877512353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929464383163889,0.0,0.19690297324864947,0.0,0.05250879443203051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0295415320722757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04969643765526654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314850545706987,0.0,0.06640876495840539,0.0,0.046727962520439086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516652034878061,0.0,0.0,0.057682780351012375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174835220193056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386198855006452,0.0,0.0,0.16054478523441246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417438869428236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04906244571635455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052731015988712916,0.0,0.0,0.059233973521991515,0.117391914565672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858984758115527,0.0,0.0,0.05642741358043516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130740982539224,0.0,0.07918084301410852,0.04443499052868932,0.0,0.0685493732791622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620186842084429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586562435553013,0.0,0.11887884705358495,0.06299223765338145,0.05590501733443926,0.0,0.1174669082899742,0.06544958520208227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057687827688108664,0.0,0.0661843521422156,0.0,0.0,0.046462056933426234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637619925897626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786713738338161,0.14851042432330136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665843303841168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27532525562486265,0.0,0.04392847256013894,0.1878398218161619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763020166785974,0.11230950994499904,0.0,0.13914922659463702,0.13627279496213685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900060876526887,0.0,0.0,0.060822684351542276,0.0,0.10092121262317844,0.0,0.048206901392066084,0.06892138284417976,0.13912559154513449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800085259348405,0.29770130538631945,0.04150357941683646,0.06387877466616412,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dizzymoo,2019/01/08,"Mum being diagnosed with dementia - I have MH issues and can’t help her... I feel like crap I’ve been struggling with quiet BPD, anxiety, self harm, drinking, agoraphobia & paranoia for years, My mum has a granny flat sort of thing in our home. I’ve seen her becoming more confused for about a year and has now been referred to a memory clinic. She needs support which I can’t give her... she’s supported me over the years but I now can’t return it and I feel so awful. My family have always put their heads in the sand with my illness and dealt with the bad times when it happens but that’s the total of how much I can talk to them.  My head is “fizzing” I’m avoiding mum to protect myself but know she needs more. She has an appointment next week and I don’t see how I can go with her. I’m hating myself so much. My brother lives 4 hours away and had her stay for 2 weeks over Christmas...",2.557704918032784,4.104590781420768,3.676196721311477,90.43560655737707,75.6120218579235,6.847213114754098,23.12896174863388,7.554174236665415,0.8357689617486339,695,20,151,9,15,225,113,183,0.17,0.773,0.056,-0.9692,0,1,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,2,0,8,10,2,3,8,1,16,7,3,2,1,26,31,14,0,2,3,4,3,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,5,11,1,2,4,1,0,2,4,7,0,0,4,7,28,3,19,26,5,20,0,0,2,0,20,5,1,2,13,97,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184388044562322,0.1586599562174322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202074668824367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757850402616714,0.0,0.12226533206522705,0.0,0.16172360307326086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844270768376595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862628323973953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434484675118048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804388003822884,0.0,0.14808172034289113,0.10461167340081892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047175444771526,0.08322117601101306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949010558460355,0.0,0.0,0.14457214554141815,0.3005647462203501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815086779068176,0.0,0.1468841105636577,0.0,0.14420688279536872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283787447647046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047567719719959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153970491265743,0.0,0.1293029092268803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21529002019743712,0.2171562390875491,0.0,0.0,0.15573302119037138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472054819328808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668804068598312,0.0,0.15276142188143693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607795861334794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530834323634559,0.0,0.0,0.33234057689932595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176971961685425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728349384027643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853861855596915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23491923531279285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828939067751837
mentalhealth,QuerterPastmidnite,2019/01/08,"I don’t know I haven’t been able to slow my thoughts.  I’ve been sleeping less and don’t think I can sleep tonight.  My thoughts are racing and
 I’ve been irritable/very happy.  I’m fidgety and can’t sit still.  I’m pacing and thinking about everything.  I’ve rambled on and on to anyone I start a conversation with.  I think this may be hypomania but I’m not sure.  I’ve been energetic, sleeping less, talkative and slightly irritable for about a week. I’ve been sleeping less and less, it’s all got better/worse.  I don’t have any diagnosis but don’t get pissey about me speculating.  I also take trazodone for sleep but that hasn’t helped at all.",1.76301098901099,4.170440553846156,3.462197802197803,86.77923076923078,81.92307692307692,6.483516483516485,24.67032967032967,7.7094869923839395,1.3462637362637362,512,20,106,9,14,170,71,130,0.07,0.875,0.055,-0.1664,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,17,5,5,0,3,22,30,11,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,8,0,10,2,11,20,6,9,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,62,13,0,0.15217093683963046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169104321280726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034814552147189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640145718878267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458282759463772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676142599280994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795030338749048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170499927028515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198879187285936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199697133792172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362916727326056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7614041643516982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107707372314604,0.0,0.12152390672734135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434193071022867,0.0,0.11441360659664845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925149758011266,0.0,0.2416134523841551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255569595224239,0.0,0.0,0.12206234672333804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507518496641906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arielleacs,2019/01/08,"Pills forever? And is that ok? I’ve been on the same antidepressants since I was hospitalized four years ago and my feelings about my dependence on medication are complicated. I tried to get off of them last year (with the guidance of my old psychiatrist) but I quickly got depressed and went back on them. I hate the feeling that my mental stability seems tethered to pills and I worry that their effectiveness is plateauing. In my first appointment with a new psychiatrist, he said he wants me to consider getting off antidepressants but that scared me because whenever I have adjusted medications in the past, I became very depressed or suicidal. I just don’t know what to think and I’m feeling lost. Would love to get some advice or hear about your experiences with going on and off meds. What alternatives have worked for you?",7.294026845637583,8.77145722818792,7.247845637583892,69.6376744966443,63.96644295302014,11.0606711409396,35.03422818791946,11.00357731598739,4.193259865771813,673,30,114,19,10,215,97,149,0.188,0.747,0.065,-0.9773,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,3,4,5,7,1,1,5,1,9,5,0,2,0,27,28,10,1,2,5,0,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,6,9,0,0,8,0,0,2,1,5,0,2,6,5,20,2,22,21,2,21,0,3,0,1,10,9,0,5,10,79,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719401701894253,0.14259584720154805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369415438222485,0.0,0.09806093805493113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771031110421803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735543693706594,0.0,0.0,0.2440123603791222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683046888052303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521337248586685,0.0,0.09142247287489524,0.0,0.12865729060613273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588194698483547,0.0,0.0,0.1813049324989273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840641010259431,0.13112527820645498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756015871938135,0.0,0.1451856507770697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868316010516136,0.3241062423855631,0.1621126411675337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536303651148944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879925459546125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356247787933544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301809068515698,0.0,0.16105249458194398,0.0,0.0,0.14644415081924045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306800588154408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759586343287528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030748790762835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921580340339107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327292907091202,0.0948815003188036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912213928654114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711059347991333,0.16336476194699762,0.0,0.1142728634035992,0.0,0.0,0.2071817275225304
mentalhealth,Wooil10,2019/01/08,"idk. I’ve been on and off about suicide. My story might not be important but it’s hard for me to talk to people about this. My parents don’t understand, I feel my friends get annoyed by my presence and when I try to go to them. I’ve had three mental breakdowns in the past few weeks, my mental stuff has been very in and off and some weeks it’s awful but some weeks I’m happy. I’ve been taking my “meds” but I don’t think they work. My mind is focused a lot on my adoption, my grades, my friends, and just me in general. There’s so much too cover but no one cares enough or I don’t know how to open up. I’ve gone through 5 therapists in a few months and they just didn’t work. Okay I’m done now I just feel overwhelmed and angry and sad and lost. ",0.12362684951281012,2.035575263803679,1.7592277156261282,99.52748105377123,84.70552147239263,4.816889209671599,18.790689281847712,5.900188976854957,-0.4521538072897871,580,15,142,4,17,188,96,163,0.161,0.7020000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.2951,1,1,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,3,3,11,9,1,1,3,2,13,0,0,1,0,31,26,17,1,0,9,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,5,0,0,2,6,4,0,2,8,3,20,5,19,16,7,19,0,3,0,0,7,10,0,5,7,93,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404407312644242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16465234741571094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624845454221945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627075829321156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486155160192052,0.0,0.08406145673048261,0.0,0.09144083662835524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127665643891538,0.14413110558797504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842416802871854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563685974937895,0.13678792375017698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871905164688456,0.0,0.3242904084792536,0.17068510284595573,0.1624589728554853,0.0,0.1284255566288419,0.0,0.11827698494661963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902721251755676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865583434283674,0.0,0.15359332350619068,0.1115449447277377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841872889551946,0.17599397860328791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209736782552959,0.12932201396720158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681251809118246,0.0,0.10309558341305927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923774124891818,0.0,0.0,0.16749828570282582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275595163717055,0.0,0.0,0.3871829102893088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342682342557177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BipolarBrotherHelp,2019/01/08,"My bipolar brother was just taken to a hospital, he says he never wants to see us again He is 19, we live in Houston Texas, my father and I just wrestled him to the ground and called the police, after the cops had detained him they sent a psychiatrist to speak to us and called his doctor, and he has since been sent to a nearby mental hospital.

Last fall was his first semester in college, he spent all his money, barely went to any of his classes, and slipped into substance abuse while pushing away his friends. Finaly, over thanksgiving, he aparently was contemplating suicide, he bought a rope. When we got back to college he told a counciler he had attempted suicide and was willfully hospitalized at which time they upped his medication and monitored his mood.

He seemed to get better over christmas and my parents were willing to let him go back to college but over the past few weeks he has been sloching on his medication and hasn't been proactive in signing back up for college (he hasnt withdrawn, signed up for classes, spoken to the proffessionals at the school). Over the past week he has been getting worse, not taking medication, making awful descicions, drinking, doing pot and another drug called kratom, hes spiraling out like he did before he attempted suicide. So today my mother told him that they didn't want him going back to college, which apparently ended with him screaming at her and shoving her. 

When they got home he had calmed down, but apparently he had called his friends to come take him away, he told my father he was leaving and my father tried to calm him down, he hadnt taken his medication so my father made him take it. My father tried to keep him from leaving the house and tried to keep him talking but he was manic, the doctors at the first clinic had warned us about him running away, and we knew that he was in a bad place. He tried to rush out the door at which point it got physical, he hit my father and my father tried to restrain him, he broke free so i tackled him to the ground, we were telling him to calm down but from then on he just screamed in our faces as we held us. ""I hate you, Fuck you, get off me, this is your fault, I can make my own descisions"" the usual stuff but he also said some more severe stuff, he told me he wold slit my throat, he threatened suicide, he said that he would go to the hospital and once he was out we would never see him again. It was nightmarish, he was foaming at the mouth trying to bite and claw at us.

After the cops got him his friends came in and they revealed that they were just as concerned about them, he was doing other drugs like extacy and smoking far more frequently than he said, they told us that he was more manic and having behavioral problems. Finaly after a psychiatrist, or someone the cops called maybe a psychoanalyst, heard the story and phoned his psychiatrist they aranged to have him put in the hospital. 

​

Anyway, shit is bad, but whats most worrysome now is that he wont speak to us. We hope he cant release himself but we are concerned that he will lie to the doctors and minimize the situation so that he can get out at which point he will leave with someone else, hopefully one of his friends and not his drug dealer. I dont know how much power he has, he is 19 but he is clearly not fit to live alone.  Im so scared that he will just wind up leaving and never find us again, what can we do? I think the best thing for him is an extended stay in the hospital so they can really get him on the proper medicines, so that hopefully he sees some reason and dosent cut us off entirely. I dont know. Please, any advice.",7.84309759547383,6.669714214992927,7.426048090523341,77.79989250353609,63.144271570014155,10.39966053748232,34.48571428571429,9.312151188531436,2.8780835643564355,2878,101,562,41,35,907,293,707,0.129,0.799,0.07200000000000001,-0.9932,5,1,4,0,1,4,75.0,19,3,10,7,28,28,4,1,33,1,63,18,4,5,5,94,118,49,4,8,17,10,0,2,4,8,12,9,2,0,24,43,1,4,8,1,4,13,14,12,0,3,51,12,91,16,84,57,11,91,0,1,3,1,153,47,2,8,32,375,115,11,0.0,0.056875694878133674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04690796728095338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049716621775354734,0.0,0.03838797459365386,0.0,0.05201122073906973,0.05832888830578985,0.06528736000315401,0.050335321565913575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530117073869027,0.14764534825539588,0.08016098486836078,0.0,0.0,0.040847009789783666,0.0,0.05037617754986566,0.04245474465536773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24508210455250604,0.05490263360984832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04135032630777355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739928617855924,0.0,0.0,0.1125182959882862,0.0470246562920582,0.1670046890047198,0.0,0.0401003394067025,0.0,0.04251640202102379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043873864165303034,0.08166263931675763,0.0,0.0,0.14834796721135338,0.044377991708863584,0.1253979078464769,0.0,0.08184361811638148,0.0,0.15356950837337113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04739301556449976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04815091394024315,0.1430334039804631,0.0,0.05538900665805342,0.0,0.0,0.05185146768047903,0.0,0.0,0.08533452808549845,0.0,0.0,0.05276237698053501,0.03912884457347445,0.0,0.20331294571690667,0.0,0.04908631064306435,0.0,0.04690367339722383,0.0,0.08477504109211723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542159078814423,0.06408473854035529,0.0,0.04822545654267925,0.0,0.0,0.19343185321795925,0.04837572454681433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035287721711149064,0.0,0.1110685979474259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051121618812073666,0.03252806905754497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330164078166545,0.0,0.09164857320336774,0.0,0.0,0.050152908723539766,0.05269286913695672,0.09075668494605504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04593237948208937,0.0,0.04825626451276552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030751945248636368,0.04935506967851927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698551116716515,0.03817390517594731,0.04805936822299912,0.04858158969235262,0.11475650667792253,0.0437001201787988,0.0,0.05422971636981226,0.04927438048357018,0.03970857023954672,0.05395737317820986,0.0,0.0,0.08134555706936847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051164801450073225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990388025726663,0.21002992399894588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827682565395758,0.03858298587894776,0.04195672998858798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03189105425858308,0.03075837838418425,0.0,0.0,0.02799093010668775,0.0,0.04550122266583622,0.2293445753203024,0.0,0.19554527951246206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5196751899451755,0.0,0.05286851282177972,0.0,0.05662681566291266,0.0,0.07701020783695814,0.0,0.0,0.04449925361775007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04891914888252473,0.06819989512693662,0.0,0.05832888830578985,0.0
mentalhealth,puncakeking89,2019/01/08,"I’m never happy and dread growing up. I’m 15 and I can’t remember being happy and I can’t imagine growing up. 

I can’t imagine myself in 10 years. I just have no clue who I want to be, what I want to do where I want to be. I get anxiety thinking about it and I don’t want to but I know I have to. I can’t even handle school. How am I supposed to handle a house, a kid, a job, a social life, and myself.  I get angry at the fact that one day I have to grow up and act like an adult. I can’t even interact with other people. It’s frustrating to see my best friend do it so easily but I can’t even order fucking food without stuttering or avoiding eye contact or anything else. I don’t even know what to do. I have no talents, no interests. I’m a disappointment to me parents whether they’ll admit it or not. The only thing keeping me from suicide is what it will do to other people and the thought of hell. ",0.3844657097288682,2.087972151515153,3.1944125465178104,90.72126794258376,82.53535353535355,5.784582668793195,22.54226475279107,6.8360192770164,0.6119454545454541,698,24,158,8,19,247,103,198,0.17800000000000002,0.63,0.191,-0.5091,2,1,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,1,1,9,14,3,2,9,0,23,4,1,1,2,34,40,15,1,4,9,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,2,13,8,1,2,8,0,0,4,14,7,0,1,1,2,25,7,21,34,1,14,1,1,2,1,10,6,2,3,4,118,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747489352832445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636885457640454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115437154498574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903510972721807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282817655117027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4057063365235007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18568838667901927,0.0,0.11864200793250522,0.1419660584051116,0.16046013822347993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269402772159889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719050933636066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523870879153296,0.13649340733617368,0.0,0.0,0.16878786992325934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846573637669782,0.07502288161898292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843686818623955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405792542222243,0.11679120238079907,0.0,0.0,0.1705129853090409,0.0,0.0,0.2129218067982018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17395637927486188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15541345009310506,0.1223694320996101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653763196376924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797245272424166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202010269361343,0.09839665054656983,0.0,0.12191147330055313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3623005688241141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802877180721455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888921638987247
mentalhealth,glasswallet,2019/01/08,"I WANT to be sad? Hello everyone. I feel weird posting here because I definitely don't think I can compare to what some people go through and I'm pretty sure I don't have depression. I've just been feeling bad lately and never get the chance to talk about how I feel which I think is what happened a few minutes ago? I was laying in bed just thinking about things and slowly anger and sadness got to me. I just got out of bed and started shouting and venting to no one. I was in full sob mode. 

As I started to calm down. I felt as if I didn't want to be happy again. I started to try to work myself up again until I realized that is not normal. 

My thinking is that it was just a release of pent up sadness and anger which I enjoyed, but I really don't know. Has anyone else experienced this? ",2.6143356643356626,3.9620625454545504,4.235151515151518,87.30503496503498,75.06060606060606,6.531468531468531,26.631701631701628,7.010146845296331,1.1823659673659677,620,23,130,6,13,208,100,165,0.13,0.765,0.105,-0.4321,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,10,13,2,0,3,0,16,0,0,1,2,32,36,13,0,4,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,9,8,0,0,10,0,0,1,7,9,0,1,8,6,20,4,23,26,3,18,0,5,0,0,2,7,1,2,9,95,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793162486786415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166884063900418,0.17099125600652212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934025376919554,0.10173026905916413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437360003004523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940925197804546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946376596145134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531430309306687,0.0,0.16023375815177932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871894292723482,0.0,0.09484339991126099,0.0,0.26694300604086024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757400047899738,0.17764995401477332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171447943169524,0.0,0.1882511841234956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287103832302633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350981289355135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308417441585555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569559281144805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982769091530918,0.16977990840749288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106909461301608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543617342444173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157285161627412,0.0,0.0,0.1341341564696224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086958576308774,0.4277273046601794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330253703585733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968637206134431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149274135758563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chino47823,2019/01/08,"Do suicidal thoughts ever truly go away? I wouldn't consider myself suicidal anymore, but back when I had hit my lowest point I had made a plan and I remember every detail of it. I find myself thinking of about suicide pretty often and the idea that the option is always there. I was just curious if anyone else has this going on with them or if I'm just the odd one out. I like to believe that my mental health state is much better now but I cant imagine that my suicidal thoughts are healthy. ",2.217272727272725,4.5518085555555565,3.8851414141414153,84.8410454545455,79.60606060606061,6.384242424242425,24.041414141414148,7.554174236665415,1.3759365656565647,393,14,73,6,10,131,74,99,0.204,0.629,0.16699999999999998,-0.7579,1,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,1,2,9,2,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,1,1,23,18,8,4,3,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,7,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,6,0,14,2,8,10,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,5,5,58,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849361778724394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314768410419674,0.1079772539721111,0.15822622699218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508697234054765,0.11874296675477075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398361565285606,0.0,0.13657598814354446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900191777904058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968586981404876,0.13010936541597964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114126467356575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552609032238334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414610289092071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17432654949059234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544404746499869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612026748247514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562365139100515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351983155610022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046420891233406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598113859545542,0.0,0.0,0.15710531025850138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493294114593502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6756616873502456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894903280219992,0.0,0.2451917276365354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thaurer,2019/01/08,"Need Some Help Figuring Something Out Someone close to me, that I spend a lot of my time with, brought up that they thought I had more than one personality, although I thought it highly unlikely, I'm not sure about it the more I think on it. I never thought on it much, because I imagined it was normal, but I have altering views of myself. Frequently. Like, how I feel I want to present myself or etc. I never have had a changing name, but I change things like wanting to present myself as strong and confident to being shy and really reliant. I also change how I talk and my speech, which was the major thing they pointed out. The pitch and way of talking will change all together. Not only that but in one instance I'll go from liking really edgy stuff like combat boots and knives to hoarding stuffed animals. But, that could just be normal stuff that happens to everyone, that's why I'm asking. If you want to ask anymore questions before giving an opinion, I don't mind depending on what they are. Plus, if you do give your opinion, don't worry, **I don't plan on self diagnosing** something like this. I just want to know if it's possible what someone thought it true.

(...and if it's not too much to ask, I'd like someone that responds to go into more detail about how people with that issue really act that have more than one personality. I would like to be informed on it and be more aware honestly.)",4.466277372262773,5.816456248175187,5.127452554744526,82.70249270072995,70.45985401459853,7.961751824817518,29.75839416058394,8.395991825355821,2.15695386861314,1108,44,213,17,20,357,145,274,0.025,0.7979999999999999,0.177,0.9912,0,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,0,3,3,2,9,11,0,0,6,0,19,1,0,4,5,63,42,23,0,13,14,0,1,7,0,2,1,1,0,3,26,14,0,0,11,0,1,4,8,0,0,3,9,3,29,11,33,26,12,24,0,0,1,0,21,13,0,11,13,156,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337438469904196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099375542236862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573284076646644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593142939050691,0.0,0.07807455959441509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38824761777103706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325684896977996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312678454000747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232821252000428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767337832390985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04639278519278348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603458184186696,0.1042900402083315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113637036451081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061499719416475376,0.09694147929447737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957656983385916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050424735704155337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31377921711849616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800463443865988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264379808861528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489718566264888,0.0680332638622336,0.14153025993240614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979579999325346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865214623440856,0.06978185713582219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360958188720547,0.16022936471649005,0.0,0.0,0.08673570285657199,0.10343707817315263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027837195379108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763368673238369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957177944000014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332246072296987,0.1412710056504341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21006916033666576,0.0,0.0,0.0864755789313976,0.0,0.0,0.14749425457771487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191247433065315,0.05879125200455169,0.0,0.29136472061787483,0.05350157947826795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21647184050284168,0.07282880779034634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279229642046647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317904589712406,0.0,0.06517829339067847,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AMelodramaticEel,2019/01/08,"I Kill Animals for Fun, Am I Fucked? For context I am 13 and a male, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety aswell as anorexia and a slight touch of autism. (I am also a non sexual sadist)

Hello, I kill animals for fun. I dont know what else to say, I love it, It started a little ago with smaller critters like crabs, but now I tend to kill, cats, dogs, birds. (I especially love breaking the bird's necks).

Keep in mind I started off by harming humans emotionally, (I am a sadist afterall), so what I will do is become a person's best friend, make them completely dependant of me, and then ruin their lives in custom ways.

Also keep in mind everyone thinks Im just a nice,shy kid, I have a lot of friends, I do alright in school.

I just wanted to ask if this meant Im gonna grow up to be a serial killer or some shit, Ive always understood them anyways but I dont want that kind of future, unless Im not caught ofcourse.",3.0896428571428567,4.09123141666667,4.8773214285714275,84.52125000000002,73.375,8.402380952380952,26.214285714285715,8.841846274778883,1.827403571428572,720,24,154,14,14,246,123,192,0.194,0.6579999999999999,0.14800000000000002,-0.8941,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,3,1,7,18,5,0,10,1,15,6,2,2,0,28,33,14,3,3,8,0,1,1,2,2,1,1,0,4,6,6,0,2,4,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,4,2,22,10,22,26,3,17,0,2,0,3,14,7,2,5,7,94,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845714441355056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568875983100825,0.1018061760924221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359849523536418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438205392733783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351275218136636,0.0,0.0,0.12840025833753652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828312757483326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538109181141572,0.1241841076312393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867898871107158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220890487665092,0.13762887037062232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691201735300365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18905679470153616,0.11311190878424107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3964815614739921,0.0,0.0,0.21750311326110108,0.4060911282898336,0.12741016758181892,0.06724113623048451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05977471966011681,0.12262825762236845,0.10803853831534063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040187950943854,0.2208538523684724,0.0,0.0816705175370838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470800951634033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683253358269604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972987535922588,0.0,0.12382616090257355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559196610838036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732019182056226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839784443080455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14433206554333805,0.09711685580001754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ITtacos,2019/01/08,"I don't understand these feelings Everyday I walk into work full of fear, I can barely function, I'm looking over my shoulder more then actually working.   I feel everyone is talking about me and that they will find out that I am a fraud.  I spend most of my day hiding behind my desk or in the basement.  I am surrounded by amazingly talented people who do incredible work, I feel so worthless, I know nothing compared to them, I don't have a college degree and only a little bit experience.   Anytime I manage to get results it's either luck or someone holding my hand the whole time.  I never felt this way in my other jobs.  What is going on? Why do I feel this way? ",3.328591256072169,5.189287549618324,5.268285912560722,78.50299791811244,74.26717557251908,7.511727966689799,30.22970159611381,8.296473431620573,2.4753603053435116,523,24,94,9,11,180,94,131,0.105,0.818,0.077,-0.5436,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,3,2,5,0,1,5,0,11,2,2,1,1,20,22,6,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,8,0,1,2,3,2,0,0,1,7,21,3,13,20,6,18,0,1,1,0,4,9,0,4,5,71,30,7,0.0,0.0,0.1786137727767734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998245946260085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804112164833876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489584348566772,0.0,0.17904136280598007,0.0,0.20596297384706588,0.3701878701634783,0.0,0.17574035153295253,0.0,0.16728881573609672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562717074741356,0.0,0.10402185303047716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181631977101812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059013182927637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18344711722221327,0.0,0.0,0.15370159408382236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116630762290042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756250680738188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920481903498882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689201318137736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508323880769045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711496555063314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672799485491384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19054377344611154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905660991296487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515878358281524,0.2043497709513897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997505392339276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,My_Name_Is_Cthulu,2019/01/08,"Need help with SO My significant other seems to (but hasnt been diagnosed with) have schizophrenia. He says he see's people that arent there clearly if we havent called in a while, it still happens if we call but not as severely. Just a few moments ago we were texting and he said he had to use the restroom but couldnt because he saw someone standing at the door staring at him, he drew him before he mentioned he was a hallucination and showed him to me. Once we called the guy disappeared and he went to use the restroom. He seems to believe that the people he sees are supernatural and im not sure how to help him because we're far away and i cant get him to any sort of therapist.


Really sorry for bad writing im just trying to get out as much as I can, any and all help is appreciated",3.381747967479676,4.478094573170736,4.849756097560974,84.63406504065041,72.78048780487805,7.66178861788618,27.691056910569106,8.07648339933343,1.6190910569105688,626,23,134,9,12,210,98,164,0.079,0.813,0.108,0.7228,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,4,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,8,0,13,1,0,3,3,34,26,17,0,4,9,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,4,13,0,0,2,1,0,2,7,1,0,0,7,6,13,1,20,18,3,13,0,0,4,0,31,6,0,5,4,81,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228688157795829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18851820721987972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022803669386396,0.0,0.11573300831610618,0.16898993300996526,0.0,0.1179463383952252,0.15616525948442536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246068975956284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406855613412985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483531743479586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724503770017618,0.1225717806784461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27872075443737315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994437431187666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189381273095548,0.10277706852669397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761442227354007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218852618372767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879669183310157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184922257072546,0.1102277097129309,0.0,0.0,0.2209073946798992,0.2523694727739781,0.0,0.1565890994456766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744324309697105,0.0,0.0,0.15516180685261685,0.0,0.0,0.11069359714288064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306376615961754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093612584707004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410664259824757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394279302968509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849224588397698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,neon_dancer,2019/01/08,"Bipolar disorder My symptoms are getting worse.

I have noticed I am becoming more and more forgetful of things.. I’ll even forget something someone just said to me seconds ago.. it’s like I’m not here anymore. I am losing things more often. I’m neglecting necessary chores. I stopped cooking. I’m usually too nauseous to eat much anyway. I can’t sleep through a whole night. I’m exhausted during the day and wide awake at night. I have darker dreams. I’m forgetting what it’s like to smile and feel happy. 

I stopped feeling emotions. I stopped feeling warmth and love. I get angry easily. I cry easily. It’s like I am losing myself. 


I just started my new job on Sunday and have been feeling this depressive episode coming on since a few days prior.

Why am I so sad when my life is coming together again?
",1.8319677419354825,4.583707858064519,3.2673387096774213,85.44100806451614,86.54838709677419,6.1967741935483875,27.10483870967742,7.554174236665415,2.024154838709677,638,30,114,12,20,208,100,155,0.229,0.583,0.188,-0.8026,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,10,11,0,0,3,0,11,8,1,0,0,22,27,7,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,0,4,1,1,0,7,7,2,4,4,2,0,2,2,6,0,1,2,5,18,5,8,25,6,21,0,5,0,1,2,4,0,1,18,70,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114326584655115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553270742111034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509332500571817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354456847350888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011759352532886,0.1762723121715742,0.0,0.11770741051260013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566273303698136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398400923619339,0.0,0.15372717880064102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026444535508206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764031335028625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280127347730726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548001907004265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561667375295314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652892895850597,0.2002995227426588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057812794772821,0.0,0.0,0.12334345097954685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004628323750476,0.0,0.0,0.13198971782282365,0.0,0.2564974317243571,0.0,0.0,0.1555914257731438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999755324573306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304882385104498,0.0,0.13676142783611178,0.0,0.11579388903609562,0.10520964755785604,0.0,0.0,0.09673058485806328,0.0,0.0,0.3427684890236044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204490540527728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158529272414475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505146913424681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331685878214114,0.15257905937494112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927099897079326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Whatsup129389,2019/01/08,"I’m so paranoid of being recorded. I just moved into a new house with my parents.

I feel like there are small cameras watching me everywhere. I feel that the neighbors next door and up on the hill look into my backyard constantly and are recording and watching, with them thinking I’m doing something wrong even though I’m not. Same with the neighbors across the street who can see my front yard.

I feel like there’s a camera in my LG tv. In my ceiling fan. In the air conditioning vents. In the outlets. 

Help. This is not healthy. Please tell me that everything I’m thinking is totally wild and unlikely. Or if it’s not. :-/",1.7936639118457336,4.488099661157031,2.5741818181818203,90.97460606060606,85.44628099173553,5.210137741046832,26.24848484848485,6.742157984588678,1.2240772451790636,493,22,95,6,15,154,78,121,0.078,0.8240000000000001,0.097,0.3127,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,8,0,7,0,0,0,1,22,18,8,0,1,6,1,3,2,2,0,0,0,5,0,5,9,0,0,5,2,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,7,12,2,13,17,2,17,0,0,4,0,7,12,0,2,5,62,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324061539272521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204674914564858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193284302517066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32622617698449463,0.30728137771924546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415185656911644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481532435146847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101373429231232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805983302919319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285773961517629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077086970803392,0.2287214024595804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388014489279833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360740366252701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137696367768634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556561507206405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797409923263372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275606724937628,0.21129780866306794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351370763801577,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,garfieldsam,2019/01/08,"Here's a tip for getting over the fear of talking about how you feel: Go Harry Potter on that motherfucker.  

I've learned this lesson so many times that it no longer really qualifies as a lesson. It's just something I know but sometimes, I guess, ignore: Turns out that saying how you feel, even if it's overwhelmingly scary/hard/seemingly-impossible, is the right choice.

If you're ever afraid to utter how you feel, think about it like this:

There's a radical, liberating magic to speaking those words. The scarier and harder it is to say, the more magic it is. The more powerful it is. How does the magic work? No one really knows. It just is. Don't question it. Doesn't really matter in the end. It's magic and you have the power to use it if you'd only try.

You're not just telling someone how you feel. You're casting a spell. And the power of that spell increases exponentially the harder it is to say. Be brave enough to unleash that spell, for the love of God. Go Harry Potter on that motherfucker's ass. Save yourself, the people you care about, from Voldemort.

The only real power he ever had, anyway, is that you refused to utter his fucking name.

And then, to cap it all off, once you actually say it, it doesn't really seem so hard at all. The power was within you all along and you just hadn't seized it. Yet.

[ ](https://www.facebook.com/#)",2.91965648854962,5.232018950381679,4.215520610687022,83.50543358778627,77.05343511450381,6.787419847328246,21.548702290076328,7.839951260653429,1.0472560000000009,1063,29,202,17,25,349,133,262,0.094,0.8,0.105,0.8385,5,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,11,0,8,21,10,1,3,18,0,16,3,1,6,5,47,33,18,0,3,9,0,5,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,26,7,0,2,12,0,0,3,7,5,0,1,3,10,14,5,27,28,7,18,0,1,0,3,24,9,2,6,7,138,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.12998885505912228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358113648163208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656858428495155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798008368624653,0.1376363624705893,0.0,0.08798063952078806,0.2409830789280765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989264679164502,0.2694097809549377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314586669517065,0.06959410937215202,0.0,0.15140693090290452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674031400153645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386510135882852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641195763862316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507722960494756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022270402474175,0.0,0.0,0.13504895237497572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418589668674794,0.09026314850592222,0.20261679448073955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234756790120953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922007404477686,0.0,0.0,0.1516164407518924,0.3413381096692929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375633352647828,0.0,0.42371981759529465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126481994511833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286415564754013,0.10254770900639827,0.13174314102095613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070651251395311,0.1164270323911022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853523789248409,0.0,0.0,0.07767290079743625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043744431432492,0.14488877819924662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150463427218194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969748190867436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaybecos,2019/01/09,"How to cope with trauma discovery on my own? I used to have an amazing therapist, until my parents stopped paying for it.

Recently on my own I had a breakthrough that I never explored with my therapist.

I have CPTSD and I think I finally put my finger on what my reoccurring trauma was. Has to do with emotional negligence, there were definitely a few cases and reasons for trauma but this one was the real killer.

I know it's a breakthrough because it triggers me so much to think about.

I started putting it out of my head, to not think about it. Which is the opposite of what my brain usually does which is over think things.

I think I recognize I don't feel safe enough yet to handle these feelings and realizations... 

But now to keep me from thinking I've been in a disassociated haze... Basically feel addicted to weed and have no were to go to to snap out of it... I don't want to snap out of it but I need to live my life",3.737088803088806,5.129949832432433,5.190598455598458,81.38466216216217,72.29729729729729,8.745173745173744,28.88996138996139,9.23628265651192,2.4250772200772204,729,29,148,16,14,245,104,185,0.114,0.855,0.031,-0.9299,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,0,15,5,3,4,1,36,31,10,0,2,4,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,15,10,0,3,12,0,1,4,5,3,0,1,6,4,24,2,34,25,5,21,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,9,116,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731455942210876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796744110163636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610929331683835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628292753596307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623245370527324,0.0,0.1491064071405283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21889595761053696,0.0,0.0,0.15807988706816922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201227886972963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809932379572965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826557419442622,0.0,0.0,0.07930666204060448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192741340622477,0.0,0.0,0.1274246142445633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608132461361383,0.1070008794155525,0.11129748461976853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977853056366986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602344493782274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901342570269551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425152727194609,0.0,0.14837033716008768,0.1424845113354953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214034712942832,0.0,0.0,0.12064606213664796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351001783222869,0.09587032301964284,0.5547917570881508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463382866263943,0.1589323877691507,0.0,0.08511526563465842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oboeyeah,2019/01/09,"Scared to be vulnerable I started building a wall around myself in middle school, when I first started my battle with depression and anxiety. In 7th grade I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and moderate Depression.

I feel so fake. I mean, when I laugh, I'm truly laughing and feel happy in that moment, but almost all the other times, there's always a sense of...dissociation, I guess? Like there's cracks in the wall where my true self can seep through, but I still keep up a persona. This person I've created and shown to the world is tough and cynical and doesn't like people. She doesn't like hugs or romantic movies and books and hates dresses.

That's just not true.

I'm not very tough at all. I'm really sensitive, and am easily hurt by people even when they don't mean any harm. I'll feel horrible if I hurt someone because that's the last thing I want to do, normally. Even through my skewed vision of myself I can see that I'm very caring person.

I love hugs. Especially my mom's.

I'm actually a romantic at heart, but no one would ever believe me if I told them. Part of me likes watching and reading romances, but at the same time that and people around me being in relationships makes me sad. I love the idea of true love and soulmates and stuff, but I'm terrified of rejection and vulnerability.

Here's an example:

I'm 18, about to turn 19, and I had my first ""real"" date a few months ago. For some dumb reason, I thought I was ready for a relationship. We met on Tinder and we go to the same college, and he was perfectly fine. But, he kissed me at the end of the date. Nothing crazy, it only lasted about 3 seconds. But once it was over I remember scrambling out of his hug and into my residence hall, impatiently waiting for the elevator to take me to my room. I was high on adrenaline, and texted my mom and a friend that I had just kissed a guy, and then it started to sink in. *I just kissed a guy. Oh my god, I just kissed a guy.* Granted, he kissed me, but I could've pulled away. I should've pulled away.

I broke down. Thank god my roommate wasn't there. I was frantically texting my mom while crying. This going to sound stupid as hell, but I felt...dirty, in a way. I'm not exactly sure why. There's was nothing really dirty about it, but even thinking back gives me the same feeling. I was freaking out. I'm surprised I didn't have a panic attack.

I had become vulnerable in front of someone. It makes it worse because I barely knew him, and also, I think part of me wanted time to build up the wall for him that I had already shown to everyone else.

Needless to say, we didn't have a 2nd date.

I'm so terrified to destroy that wall. That effing wall that I despise but also don't tear down. I'm petrified to get into a relationship and one day my boyfriend wakes up and realizes that the girl he's dating is fake and ugly. I'm scared to be vulnerable in front of others because I think they'll use it against me.

I don't want to continue to be fake, but at this point, if I start being true to myself, everyone around me is going to question me. I'm just scared.",2.979786980392156,4.608103593600003,4.463331764705881,84.89003450980394,74.664,7.781960784313727,25.37490196078432,8.4952907291091,1.637187607843137,2426,82,503,45,51,809,275,625,0.207,0.599,0.194,-0.9061,0,0,0,0,0,0,89.0,3,0,3,3,30,58,9,5,28,0,36,14,2,4,10,105,89,51,0,8,24,3,4,4,1,2,1,2,1,7,25,37,0,2,16,2,0,7,12,28,0,5,19,8,74,30,73,63,9,80,1,7,2,11,36,43,2,8,33,320,99,5,0.0,0.0,0.06872827661387107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062430815722043925,0.0,0.0705241951713749,0.0,0.07771984990102562,0.11264365266064115,0.05860234153645912,0.0,0.0,0.04789394843809553,0.0,0.1077555644581318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18808949233290012,0.0,0.08012284266746429,0.13234021194219406,0.05415534259715032,0.0,0.12879809209138826,0.07778299400137352,0.0,0.07934905594392007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180677946704027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623160646737721,0.0,0.07736264787419309,0.04542070151890101,0.0,0.12132031613113925,0.07148367386080402,0.0,0.0,0.08071742107183673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05883416293144516,0.0,0.062378946432200114,0.0,0.0,0.13955252687393346,0.06370681432765213,0.0,0.13459533072762428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244351901962515,0.0,0.06762262117082579,0.0,0.0,0.11981327584900467,0.0,0.0,0.054413058608692465,0.0,0.03679610223083967,0.06756165102640846,0.12007880318223285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758518133356036,0.20920653307497253,0.0,0.07497268790248518,0.0,0.06953378551873918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345837880846879,0.0,0.07441181528707543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079081456030452,0.07950545846592474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260028722127277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481762254462155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376316711311585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19069402343120684,0.0,0.09402344230712756,0.0,0.0,0.15343505789713474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24745581627361155,0.056215536758046185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900519754732125,0.1351565231645672,0.0,0.0,0.07500429410345738,0.09544865420550673,0.0535642193761706,0.0,0.08263293464760317,0.0,0.15253489295610256,0.0,0.14647923135670002,0.12299129307312034,0.0,0.0,0.06657791016528855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078896290921458,0.0,0.07044778450479848,0.08016330841953505,0.09023688996082398,0.07241245969288447,0.0,0.22684228188928554,0.07978201672230516,0.0,0.0,0.056007749312860684,0.2115343218223469,0.07127763020755762,0.056122575778863065,0.0,0.07347252062188127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934806111811774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939925759005636,0.0,0.056244471153971166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062404076277345,0.0,0.0,0.06637824028596859,0.0,0.05295363660654251,0.0,0.0,0.06484130803484629,0.0,0.0,0.04678971574967337,0.13538365052289314,0.0,0.05591254107523912,0.12320266862062812,0.0,0.0,0.06729766536381214,0.0,0.0,0.0766062292170702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060827806063859416,0.0,0.116222148846544,0.12462206112065458,0.05590304410778578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355097026854957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177288817014417,0.05003054589027997,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anxious-attachment,2019/01/09,"Any psych professionals or people with similar symptoms, please read: Basically I experience symptoms but I am **unable to receive treatment yet because I am on a waiting list**. 

**I am reaching out in the hopes that someone can tell me what these symptoms sound like (BPD maybe?) so I can look for CBT or DBT resources or message boards with coping strategies online in the meantime**. I am not looking for a diagnosis; I know this can’t be done over the internet, but it would mean a lot to just hear from someone with similar symptoms or a professional what this might be. 

Please help me with these symptoms if you can:
- **Obsessive thoughts** (about whether or not my father is a child molester — he was accused by my siblings — or I am a pedophile — I don’t have any attraction to minors — because of genetics; about whether or not my husband is going to kill me because I spent a long time in my youth researching true crime and people like Ted Bundy were ‘seemingly out of nowhere’) and **compulsions** (skin picking; cleaning under fingernails; used to clean myself with steel wool; repeating what was last said in a conversation)
- **Can’t remember** most of my childhood (I am only 25) 
- **Derealization** under extreme stress and periods of anxiety (feels like I am dreaming; in a movie; feels like I am watching myself)
- **Irrational beliefs** (my life is The Truman Show; I am clairvoyant; I have special powers; these are not full-blown delusions that I know of — I believe them about 85% and not for prolonged periods, just often) 
- **Flat emotions** (I mostly feel anger and severe anxiety since being on mood stabilizers but before that I had really bad mood swings)
- **Self harm history** (Bulimia, relapse was 3 days ago; cutting for 12 years up until a year ago) 
- **Hyper empathy** (Feels like I absorb other people’s emotions, especially if they’re negative; can’t listen to sad songs or I will have a depressed mood) 
- **Paranoia** (Hyper-vigilant; distrustful of others; think others are always out to get me; always think the worst of others)
- **No relationships** (except with husband; all have blown up; thought all my life *they* were the problem but realized *I* was)
- **Low self esteem** (don’t recognize self in mirror or self in photos?) 
- **Conduct disorder** (criteria is met when I was younger if that matters)
- **Attachment issues** (did not attach to anyone until age 14 and when I did it was anxious attachment which I still struggle with)
- **Highly impulsive** (ex-drug addict and dependent on alcohol; now dependent on spending and attempting to hoard animals)
- **Fears of being left** (always asking my husband if he is going to leave me; if he hates me; if he loves me)

Thank you for reading and any help. ",1.4755149298040635,3.3180951356993766,2.8754189730133497,82.27437838769609,113.30062630480171,5.682641588937197,25.68885866962901,6.8803897965386085,2.2265028480588387,2106,102,336,47,109,680,260,479,0.157,0.733,0.111,-0.9836,1,0,2,0,0,1,155.0,0,2,2,2,12,31,6,4,17,0,47,11,1,4,3,81,76,35,1,9,30,4,5,5,0,3,9,5,2,5,19,19,1,1,15,5,2,3,13,17,0,0,17,13,46,11,57,52,6,46,1,3,3,1,30,22,0,24,26,239,65,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605904034250172,0.0,0.0,0.13995562870627232,0.0843655863050273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970595960953988,0.0,0.0,0.1610509390440173,0.0,0.12078168125722633,0.08918262018893149,0.0,0.05519847190767593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380063506501112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591373831585516,0.1443679515183215,0.0,0.06717430227910401,0.08894122945088542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942538801228117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091141901509028,0.0,0.06799310934272304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047501048163442,0.0,0.0,0.08078564488252131,0.0,0.0,0.09154830442477632,0.0,0.0,0.17759950425587578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722096940084723,0.0,0.08883232484320963,0.15966291669392926,0.16918973716065408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04124422820763389,0.0,0.0897297496399263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793943228236606,0.0,0.0,0.08897399999163567,0.0,0.1058270648883152,0.0834071465447824,0.0,0.07840777219222499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239552040491066,0.0,0.0,0.08733824387374378,0.0,0.0867695304624468,0.06434872091587128,0.0,0.08358877028654882,0.08577132001389516,0.0,0.11151892634166928,0.19283673095046944,0.0,0.0,0.0698616794604192,0.13258373269276585,0.0,0.0,0.06711413961441509,0.07124874052227481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930840989383685,0.08599158822937827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374557861866405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060039372481766586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418648931492208,0.0,0.0,0.1733104448808147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553736637290158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579278415202848,0.0,0.05057262395542653,0.0,0.0,0.08475476363128379,0.08942652903606002,0.0,0.07509245011534267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186633973040576,0.3294172179986149,0.08918262018893149,0.0,0.0653020995678732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377554606228628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304362861965918,0.0,0.09042843322121646,0.0825279016615658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4102577205096152,0.0,0.0,0.06899927503631062,0.07267970093933666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116640693297584,0.0,0.12534314582065134,0.046032040282424636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681810236021367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607852807631792,0.0,0.0,0.10167283795748773
mentalhealth,parkinglotss,2019/01/09,"i dont even know what happened. everything was ok a few days ago. but now im shutting down and ive felt it coming on, but ignored it. and i havent felt this bad in so long. i dont know what happened it came out of nowhere but now im bad. like really bad. i had to talk myself out of self harming for the first time in months. i dont even want to talk about this. i barely have the motivation to talk about it on here. i just felt this weight wrap around me and its painted everything in a negative, muted light. i dont know how i used to deal with this feeling for months on end. its awful, and heavy, and soul crushing. but i feel hopeless and cornered. but most of all i just feel so, so tired. i noticed now when im around friends i cherish and love, its hard to even force a smile. it sucks all the energy out of me. and now im feeling empty and endlessly swirling around negative thoughts that dance around the edge of death. and its a familiar dance, and not one i want to do anymore. but i dont know how to pull myself out of this. i thought it would go away. all i know how to do is wait for it to go away.",0.4082499999999989,2.260935325000002,2.0766666666666684,97.985,83.25,5.5,20.833333333333336,6.6274283507984215,0.06645833333333329,858,26,210,9,24,280,109,240,0.248,0.642,0.109,-0.9923,0,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,0,2,23,12,1,0,8,2,14,3,0,5,3,59,40,24,1,3,9,0,9,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,19,22,1,2,15,2,0,7,9,7,0,2,8,10,22,5,38,31,5,39,1,1,0,1,7,19,1,1,14,144,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574088041529141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473740998650188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30425281877004984,0.0,0.0,0.16055475250355855,0.0,0.21402631466792546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977250828972548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360237206418538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05510426032935866,0.08808893053491043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.500698194236565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756779527467378,0.0,0.0,0.16930471158137042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358297315345806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281205467557678,0.0,0.2461186901483778,0.0,0.0,0.0726785554000021,0.0,0.0,0.06601376127232013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971194985152764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511155539955677,0.0,0.07654097015783325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691763869418605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347887216540593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174358377324958,0.0,0.0,0.07561518116185474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771164744929747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640104483110854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727847017147154,0.0,0.0,0.05789901205333076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473756359359338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913664404142997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20602976098950368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566585790419042,0.04982303735164813,0.09820521767347333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379611385376399,0.0,0.0,0.10079407654996447,0.0,0.0,0.10404767683183716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060696909844306986,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sadamatographer,2019/01/09,"Sensitivity to noise with depression? I was diagnosed with depression about 3 years ago but I think I have had it longer than that. Anyway, for the last month I have been living at home on winter break from college. My younger brothers all still live here, so there are 6 people in the house. 

Holy hell this is a loud house. The TV is on from 10 am to midnight daily, my mom plays the radio in the kitchen when she is home, nobody has an indoor voice, people have conversations across the length of the house, etc. My bedroom is near the living room so I can't go there for quiet. It feel like an unwavering wall of sound just bearing down on me.

When I am alone I listen to music and movies at a high-ish volume, so the total volume is not the problem. 

I have never noticed this problem before, but the constant noise is making me feel irritable and beaten down. Is this something to do with my depression or is this just something else? Luckily I get to move back to school in a few days so it will be over soon.",3.4803544776119395,5.100116721393036,4.279524253731342,86.7557042910448,73.32835820895522,6.816044776119404,23.507773631840802,7.413659706084162,0.8922161691542292,795,22,161,9,16,255,124,201,0.124,0.802,0.07400000000000001,-0.9167,0,1,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,16,9,2,0,16,0,23,2,0,1,3,20,30,11,0,2,6,2,2,1,0,1,1,5,5,0,8,5,1,0,3,3,0,2,3,7,0,0,3,7,16,2,30,25,4,31,1,3,0,0,5,15,1,1,14,119,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690329476747305,0.0,0.0,0.13658747705229032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014072602711923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221981327545556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251498008929914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850514220709538,0.0,0.3407630794327524,0.13385500252979698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016847068271968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708059784723326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333645612273142,0.09421480173278574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890163992951097,0.0,0.07495020720876339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933802203414394,0.264571952719442,0.0,0.0,0.4565140031058786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749946334671172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442970363874567,0.0,0.3493562685764537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803064691657993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445577581726855,0.1052650263837116,0.14016712772429082,0.0,0.0,0.101713665917223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014578138820306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285739782572194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523819038556229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346918053385076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305469486710476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053192067780668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450311287638675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492612876996085
mentalhealth,LeonDePlata,2019/01/09,"At my wit’s end trying to find a therapist Disclaimer: even though I’m feeling really low, I’m not in any danger. Hoping to find some guidance.

I’m writing here because I don’t really know or have anywhere else to go to for information. Last month, I started to seriously look into finding a therapist. I signed up for BCBS health insurance through my company which kicked in at the new year, and I figured it would be a good time to actually start going to therapy. As a gay man, it’s very important to me that my therapist have experience working with LGBT patients. 

After a lot of back and forth and confusion, I found out that my mental health coverage is actually contracted through ComPsych which is now my sole provider. Their coverage pales in comparison to what my coverage would be like under BCBS, and it’s really demoralizing. Their customer service is pretty awful as well, and it’s hard to get quick responses to certain questions, especially with long hold times just to get transferred to the right place.

I started looking through their network and doing research and phone consultations, and to be frank, I don’t know how comfortable I’d be seeing any of their doctors. They’re either unresponsive, have terrible reviews online, or not someone I see myself making progress with after having a phone consultation.

I’ve considered seeing someone out of network, and the potential out-of-network therapists I’ve spoken to have been honesty amazing. I have out of network benefits, but even with these benefits or sliding scale options, financially it’s not nearly as sustainable as seeing an in network provider. I’m at a wit’s end to what to do. Do I foot the bill and pay to see an out of network therapist I really see myself having good enough chemistry with to make good progress? Do I try to meet with some of the in-network therapists who I didn’t have a good reaction to post-consultation just to see if it would work?

I have some big life decisions that I need to make by summer, and therapy would be invaluable in making them, so I’m scared that I’m gonna waste time with these in network providers.

Does anyone have experience finding therapists through Compsych? Does anyone have experience negotiating better coverage for an out-of-network provider? Is this something I should speak to HR about? Really confused about what my options are at this point, and any guidance would be greatly appreciated. ",9.056498237367805,8.675592225225229,8.894551508029773,65.67622209165688,60.3063063063063,12.31633372502938,42.05209557383471,11.635897716609016,5.161583352918137,1964,101,321,51,23,638,209,444,0.052000000000000005,0.825,0.123,0.9823,0,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,5,5,14,21,1,3,16,1,36,6,1,5,1,72,69,24,0,9,11,0,2,1,0,7,4,1,0,1,20,24,0,1,12,0,2,3,6,7,1,0,3,12,31,14,71,53,6,45,0,1,9,1,16,23,0,14,20,212,51,10,0.0,0.0,0.12750542185817104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328003554552326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091360588663229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05023478067490062,0.0,0.03982459592021246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777912576513197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686808084652926,0.11434154495708407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054574879029719914,0.0,0.11572607770439396,0.06750341193425667,0.0,0.08629977202543647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171599261135155,0.0,0.0,0.03303283939010865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388419514461832,0.0,0.0,0.07163103465148066,0.0,0.0,0.06826451598718973,0.0,0.07425715300071416,0.21918300648620245,0.0,0.07202661765436916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585228982719603,0.0,0.0,0.1388855896517135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488748669741606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180738077623072,0.053252715332707486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04614455077084013,0.031916965536645005,0.0,0.0,0.05781504396698836,0.10972158691493468,0.0,0.0,0.055541277601440606,0.0,0.0,0.17443327938050068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583733090987677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052145827616107886,0.0,0.0,0.048441408917514715,0.0,0.0630961754265632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682560039907862,0.0,0.061758019699472776,0.0,0.06256813499491494,0.06646415378855228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318461448919257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092605345370701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05579151108275928,0.0,0.0,0.06540678322978367,0.0,0.36441717565960347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107078893183618,0.05029426904138341,0.0,0.0,0.1387228502036323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494212257924894,0.5309726143642239,0.0,0.0,0.06418644856982869,0.0,0.11428344351468266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887096396366299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390413832576338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587395663958555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512211805889992,0.0,0.0,0.2320429877564854,0.0,0.0,0.04207041429694657
mentalhealth,isitokay1234,2019/01/09,"Suffering from (supposed) body dysmorphia For the past 6/7 years of my life I've completely hated how I look. I avoid all cameras as much as possible and if i do see a picture of myself I get extremely anxious to the point that it could ruin my entire week. How I am looking when in public is always on my mind. I am constantly researching ways on how i could improve my appearance somewhat etc.

The ironic thing about all of this is the fact that I am regularly told I am 'very good looking', 'model' or that I could get women easily. When i reveal how i feel to close friends and family they think I am joking. Additionally, any interest I get from women I often think that they haven't seen me properly or the it must have been the lighting etc and I do not pursue, including the ones that I am interested in. I have seen a therapist but this hasn't helped. What can i do?",5.866379310344826,5.714051385057478,7.132781609195401,74.91537931034483,66.75862068965517,10.868045977011494,31.76781609195402,10.577609850970193,3.2700271264367813,687,25,134,17,10,235,103,174,0.07200000000000001,0.847,0.081,0.1369,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,0,8,9,1,1,9,0,21,2,1,4,4,30,36,15,0,5,5,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,11,5,0,1,4,1,0,1,3,4,0,1,4,8,27,5,15,28,6,14,0,2,6,0,8,6,0,6,6,105,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799841813120547,0.0,0.0,0.10460929507944293,0.0,0.0,0.17378348279146622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086983085238364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128724241244238,0.16623497707014473,0.0,0.3684608748435159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431209799177292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501670673130546,0.0,0.07778078754844217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884824471152068,0.0,0.24110860191540615,0.0,0.0,0.129024836923624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187472581681602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310863187765154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865428362479056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875339631202255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553238838079559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308233915368995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423881052138832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468476078275774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541854404122412,0.1734195816997225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258214830330527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786078376826742,0.10219744542188494,0.19713538917186094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699062332060606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269253993452801,0.0,0.12210265028512267,0.1233926989137928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906111666215386
mentalhealth,halfbreed_prince,2019/01/09,"Anyone have advice on how to deal with a young pre-teen daughter suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts. This all stems from her mother who committed suicide 2 years prior. She isnt my biological daughter but i became her guardian. We have a good relationship and my whole family treated her as their own. Any advice would be helpful, im from Canada by the way.",4.946813725490198,7.442604367647061,5.6623529411764775,74.65225490196082,71.5,8.650980392156864,30.450980392156865,9.2995712137729,3.1350803921568637,299,13,49,7,6,97,57,68,0.136,0.74,0.125,0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,1,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,2,10,6,5,2,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,9,2,8,3,3,5,0,2,0,0,13,1,0,0,3,34,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4466214258997982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540395111984406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978908315249368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355978982996848,0.19682712631488872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154318044808353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19167483573326355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317461776393693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24684480881199855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453489291533425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4999356696496833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18142228994699788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813914746495744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551385478774394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233667846537125,0.0,0.0,0.1471617691329587
mentalhealth,chi-ckadee,2019/01/09,"Is it abnormal to be able to trigger brief moments of dissociation, while not having dissociative symptoms with their mental illness most of the time? I’ve had generalised anxiety, phobias and ADHD all my life, agoraphobia in recent years, and sort of a collection of childhood trauma. (These are all professionally diagnosed)

I’ve always been able to trigger episodes where I completely detach from my body, everything feels surreal and dreamlike and I feel completely out of control, like I have no idea what I’m doing or how to continue with it (walking, talking, etc), as though I’ve just woken up from a dream. It’s trippy and pretty frightening. This feeling, though lasting <10 seconds is really unmistakable and intense and from what I understand, it’s probably dissociation.

The thing is though, I don’t get it in association with my panic attacks or when I space out with ADHD- it’s largely either a purposeful state (prompted with trigger phrases), or something that just kind of happens every once in a while. I’ve always been able to do it at will, and I’ve not found anyone else who can. (I’m 20 now, but I can remember doing this when I was younger than 9 or 10... it may have been going on for longer though.) Despite going through trauma, I don’t feel like it’s responding to feelings of that trauma- it’s not like I unwillingly detach in moments of danger. However, I feel it’s gotta be in some way connected to my mental illness, even indirectly- it’s not exactly unrelated, right? 

So what’s the deal? Should I be considering this type of dissociation a symptom of my illnesses, or is it something else? Is this something that’s normal (in as much as mental health symptoms can be)? Any thoughts? Am I good?",5.035721153846153,7.1520869375000045,6.172499999999999,72.73019230769229,70.25,9.048076923076923,33.24519230769231,9.565088089820216,3.5435961538461545,1380,67,230,33,26,460,170,320,0.113,0.8290000000000001,0.058,-0.9551,1,0,3,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,1,1,13,11,2,1,8,0,30,10,1,5,3,54,47,27,0,2,13,0,6,3,0,4,9,0,0,0,26,15,0,1,11,1,0,4,7,6,0,1,8,6,19,5,42,31,7,33,0,0,0,0,5,14,0,10,16,167,45,2,0.285261826380826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285528536903575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582404609315367,0.0,0.0,0.0646626079946004,0.0,0.07274150546179252,0.0,0.0,0.06648723389110102,0.09742815060339173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817550308085026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562052714455784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939439841795345,0.0,0.10664846486384397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803080573128957,0.0,0.09651158302075537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886643462874062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604744732432164,0.06280424865205875,0.0,0.08011513065584437,0.0,0.08545831192077953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884739011540041,0.0679303685881567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425828958458536,0.0,0.0,0.04967917684542944,0.0,0.10808057986239472,0.07975469527085137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840853636589718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010733273328122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073419599317025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990187649676986,0.0,0.07750882062972048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716295472241103,0.13936451923825374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874768266942611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990008834544231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931653410108742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012648450522372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156443005461818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673794363569288,0.10252016547321016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091534350869522,0.0,0.0938872131026363,0.0,0.10771534693994032,0.08120401369502883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21960849057985274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964962624122166,0.0,0.07642755017299137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317176065804063,0.0,0.3736910614210132,0.07548867536372088,0.05544615499249991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989892071870258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547585331200872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123308783763143
mentalhealth,MobileTeam,2019/01/09,"Noticing things familiar to the point where I feel like it's a problem When I see a car I've seen thousands of times, I take note of it. One of the door handles in my house is installed upside down (been like that my entire life, it's the door to my room, the door handle i use the most), I notice it every time. The thing is all of these feel like new things to me, every time I see that door handle it causes me to think ""how could that have happened"" and I think it's interesting, it's the same thoughts every time. It's not just the door handle thing, it's everything. Every time I get into my car or drive I always notice the brand names of cars or interesting details I've seen on the side of the road. If I'm with other people I always want to mention it to them, like ""hey, look at that,"" and it's cool the first or second time then they start to get annoyed, like we see that every time we're in this area. Or if I talk to someone I know I always judge them and talk to them like they're a new person. Even like my mom and stuff, I talk to her how I would talk to a teacher, it takes me probably about a year to finally get comfortable enough around a person to freely talk to them, and if I don't talk to them for like a month I go back to being nervous around them, even too nervous to talk about things happening that even that I know I've already told them everything about. I know it's not normal because I never see anyone else doing this, but is it a problem or is it just a personality trait or something else? I'm 17(m) btw, sorry my post is hard to read. Oh and also, when I look at texts and other stuff I've done in the past it doesn't feel familiar to me, I remember it but it's like somebody else did it.
",4.946141304347826,4.033474375000004,5.822956521739132,86.08726086956526,68.83695652173913,8.664347826086956,26.82391304347826,7.554174236665415,1.1881919565217394,1342,31,308,12,20,444,154,368,0.04,0.878,0.083,0.8591,0,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,8,1,18,18,1,2,22,1,15,1,0,4,2,52,46,24,0,9,15,1,4,9,0,1,1,0,6,3,38,12,0,0,10,1,0,5,5,5,0,4,7,13,42,13,40,36,4,42,0,0,8,0,25,16,0,10,29,200,80,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609596159217516,0.055145031014485736,0.17213369054812375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04821646278766044,0.07065477871636601,0.0,0.12277301789854345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302381406464162,0.0,0.04203565619084905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083801781024132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505669621669428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056713538683254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281462361702066,0.0,0.0,0.07125119917004627,0.0,0.13663669884351765,0.0,0.2904969864081756,0.0,0.1239485319354232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460046467706148,0.0985260447004791,0.0,0.0755392188322072,0.0,0.05865494110480926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808183954287752,0.0,0.03918995386046145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195721104867188,0.0,0.061772087681210876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956732602727258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369118633328175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04870649472929709,0.3032009498294457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581332585297327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076181445236598,0.05504096226988908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318402740597476,0.13319854606948436,0.0,0.0,0.06756339427969127,0.0,0.23552461550467646,0.0,0.0,0.04672716901600192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582742988176017,0.04780622529750789,0.18063224631383296,0.0,0.0,0.06518682294519239,0.0,0.06604191581549748,0.0,0.07434750183200875,0.13196541458208022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689758396440268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811504124079237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197997745163399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842719386688506,0.05308660522329733,0.0,0.07719191611754657,0.04880824611217157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157878943850328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369443333997698,0.38797617816868174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290604277498065,0.08836995167916634,0.0,0.05474429741694811,0.28146639869323603,0.0,0.0,0.06589153948816524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059556862241323526,0.0,0.0,0.040672730705869485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048985201378419815,0.0,0.0,0.044406162330839084
mentalhealth,SchizophrenicOutcast,2019/01/09,"Still in the hospital, transitioning into group home. I got a house lined up and I'm working on my physical health to be able to function properly in the real world and hold a job. Hopefully i can get a nice balence between work and play without the use of drugs. ",4.000576923076924,5.555729442307693,5.364615384615386,79.75538461538463,71.88461538461539,9.046153846153846,32.230769230769226,9.516144504307137,3.1380230769230764,209,10,40,5,4,70,42,52,0.0,0.845,0.155,0.7845,1,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,9,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,10,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,1,25,3,3,0.26329770828654003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053417501224233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756218536756715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21058323002014664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798731515526768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26410906939431833,0.261514033873192,0.0,0.30381020433566297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612823479715148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996904352342837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210269889953146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274046821797872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25380959498759337,0.0,0.383367734986344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imnickb,2019/01/09,"What are the ""Types"" of therapy? I've decided to see a therapists and I've been trying to find the right ones. I read somewhere that it's important to find the right type... I don't mean schooling/title like psychologist vs psychiatrist. More like their methodologies? Does this make any sense? Is there some other ""category"" or ""type"" that I should be considering that I don't know about? ",3.2183333333333337,6.0644163888888905,4.145000000000003,81.37500000000003,79.55555555555556,8.6,24.277777777777786,9.188382445141503,2.3959111111111118,308,11,58,9,8,99,54,72,0.08,0.893,0.028,-0.5236,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,1,0,11,11,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,5,2,5,8,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,2,34,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722440543472142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22165342922277548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463000019810614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920007988811978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474867683216206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907124422612152,0.0,0.0,0.27590413103402234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163403434560826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533558501356221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4326119524676901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018371904553821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28965610975439204,0.29408608553656623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196545523287898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EfficientEnthusiasm2,2019/01/09,"Has anyone taken abilify, did it cause genital numbness? I've been taking ability for almost 2 years. I've now stopped the medications.

But since I started it, my clitoris has lost sensitivity and my vagina is completely numb.

Has anyone else experienced this? ",5.1546666666666665,8.481688466666665,6.8000000000000025,62.34000000000003,75.44444444444446,9.822222222222225,33.44444444444444,9.888512548439397,4.7029111111111135,211,11,29,7,5,72,37,45,0.196,0.755,0.048,-0.723,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,6,4,1,1,0,5,10,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,3,0,1,6,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898964747650627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048559086209118,0.2966310984030169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974003940497389,0.0,0.0,0.3035394752534042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24184347496817765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160278555871639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916448603920467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23948073145597426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049124477977402,0.0,0.0,0.24203833846630826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21767100696326286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18643110837467447
mentalhealth,HippyIncognito,2019/01/09,"I'm going to see a therapist soon. Should I address issues of trauma with my family first? I was emotionally abused and sometimes physically abused from childhood into my early twenties. I KNOW I need help and after taking care of some physical health problems, absolutely will be seeking counseling. From being kidnapped, to being spanked until I bled and even being told I was fat and needed to lose weight when I was FIT (like, bordering on fitness model, but I honest to God didn't see it), I definitely need the support.

But I am also tempted to call out my abusers because I am realizing that I have freedom to do so when I never had it/realized I had it before. I've been torn between love for my family and wanting to reclaim my personal power/hold the people responsible accountable. My dad still has kids (whom he treats MUCH better than me or my brother) and I want to see them. My mom is slightly more open to self accountability, but still blames other people (like my dad or my ""attitude"" (even when there was none)). I rarely bring up things and when I do it's quick and superficial. Sometimes a joke or passing comment. It's never addressed and always ignored or gas lighted. I want to do it through email because I know they *will* read it all and I can think through what I want to say.

Should I call out my abusers? Should I wait until I cool down in therapy? Or should I just keep it between myself and my therapist?",4.290484406104845,6.15843276642336,5.373842070338423,78.71772395487726,71.70072992700729,7.901526211015263,29.972793629727946,8.575989854853784,2.4692613138686137,1134,48,203,20,22,374,160,274,0.108,0.7290000000000001,0.163,0.9445,1,0,0,0,4,0,36.0,0,0,2,3,14,14,0,0,4,1,27,4,1,0,3,48,50,27,0,12,9,4,1,2,0,6,2,1,2,3,12,16,2,3,4,2,2,3,4,4,0,1,9,7,41,10,32,31,5,29,0,1,3,1,19,10,0,6,18,157,53,1,0.0,0.4896118236942589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261528183963213,0.08596043981426398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259510610342616,0.0,0.0879074049050523,0.0,0.0,0.09136743295940004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21097781121072964,0.0,0.10532927836667463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620747072809105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364677732750317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477896794413693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787363796001721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871225428477338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098114555515436,0.0,0.0,0.06924510063682686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782659631509303,0.0,0.0918247988212554,0.0,0.0,0.11355062857357485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094203296847798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557510311867605,0.0,0.0,0.09323940360471672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099295149747252,0.0,0.0,0.07594318547681418,0.2298044729711461,0.15935482608966664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324136568551707,0.09020446426456284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885169813322416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333584599525657,0.11758699512753434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215458013644834,0.0,0.0,0.2469690376343923,0.0,0.10777265927147632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20434828841111533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165003627867262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172325686522342,0.0,0.0,0.07767467601326396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181415749158442,0.2398968441272369,0.06863317128930782,0.06619552414623918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871511549666297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437346791641261,0.0,0.0,0.1258011779978426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,curiouslysad,2019/01/09,"back track *trigger warning: suicide & self harm*

I really thought I was doing well, I literally posted about how I didn't hurt myself a couple weeks ago. Now I've withdrawn from people and I've sliced my wrist open. I'm so tired of being hurt and hurting others. 
Sometimes I wish I would cut deep enough to hit an artery but I honestly don't think I could kill myself. Maybe something would happen and it would kill me. 
I just want everything to stop. I know it might get better in the future, but I want it to stop now",1.8238701298701296,4.1709915428571485,2.967012987012989,90.79207792207794,81.19047619047619,5.341991341991342,20.021645021645018,6.574015621080383,0.2320476190476186,412,11,83,4,11,132,75,105,0.138,0.618,0.245,0.9234,0,0,1,0,0,5,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,10,3,0,3,0,10,2,1,2,0,22,20,7,3,7,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,3,0,15,3,7,10,1,12,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,8,52,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170250635569478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16098062450845785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142447727153053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140224764681133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862480767724005,0.16439507872794956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351738079330307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352935948831476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762414813700431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138411582635562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4771568651632232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287517829816715,0.0,0.08165276911580832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149263255142449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761427678530565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300298912545572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422934919926121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518075677959814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499581420262484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438006214658625,0.14694417655321046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484302025303117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625166062744242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520066806341976,0.0,0.11795171520920245,0.0,0.17076476050827338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752664140507933,0.0,0.1191776618098792,0.0,0.13358649768412414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708535716940649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166296104841806,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yernanwasgoodlike,2019/01/09,"What causes someone to be completely dry of emotion? A lot of people argue that it's past trauma, but that isn't always the case. I had a normal life, nothing bad happened to me *until I was 17* and when I was 12 I just decided to switch off emotionally. Since then I've been incapable of feeling. So since my case wasn't caused by a traumatic event, what actually happens in the brain to cause this? Is there a neurological reason why a typically normal person can completely shut down emotionally without any psychological trauma? ",4.3848484848484865,6.870012737373742,6.2212121212121225,70.0518181818182,73.14141414141416,8.844444444444445,29.181818181818183,9.444778638647367,3.1602606060606053,427,18,70,11,9,147,73,99,0.113,0.792,0.095,-0.1823,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,7,0,9,3,1,4,0,13,12,6,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,1,6,0,13,6,1,9,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,49,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.14217831643041712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212307752942034,0.0,0.0,0.09907830214324484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165010621510568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626449632650877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44900989532524577,0.0,0.0,0.30551904825388754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4916652986577864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366829461771696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576770509201826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029094205630522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386556158452812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285502366583316,0.1397992781492829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908335436448788,0.10100728808378087,0.12721616084584772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979979296675494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24104253685123786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344778041170758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146801295579508,0.0,0.0,0.14044578170229818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Natnlgeoharry,2019/01/09,"I wrote a song about my struggle with depression. I hope it helps someone to realize that even though it feels like we're alone, we're in this together. I've been struggling with depression for many years. On my good days, I love writing music; however, even my good days feel tainted by the knowledge that another crash is just around the corner. 

Several years ago, this song came to me while I was playing the piano. I finally got around to recording it. I hope you enjoy it, and know that we're in this together. 

https://youtu.be/1ZNSDG21b4c

- - - - - - - - - - 

Here are the lyrics: 

*Why do I try to fly so high?*

*Why do I feel like I am falling further?*

*Today, I feel like I'm alive;*

*Tomorrow, lying in the darkness, unsure.*

*Today, I feel like I'm alive;*

*Tomorrow, lying in the darkness...*",0.895158061116966,3.2953643219178126,2.117808219178084,89.88059009483669,100.986301369863,5.533825079030559,22.053740779768177,7.010146845296331,1.2554676501580615,605,24,113,12,26,192,85,146,0.165,0.633,0.202,0.7319,1,1,0,0,0,0,54.0,0,1,0,0,9,15,0,2,7,0,7,1,0,0,0,19,21,4,0,2,1,0,5,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,10,6,0,0,8,3,0,2,0,4,0,0,5,7,16,11,16,16,0,23,0,2,0,1,5,10,0,2,15,64,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368376039626515,0.0,0.0,0.1328258373318607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13447879191331544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22833511017624444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668109015740602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16541818615648124,0.0,0.2209189418837219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941266204672087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242292027370963,0.3664804475280457,0.0,0.140488978359504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513600634591848,0.10257132227579673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596166370309086,0.1355006318900308,0.0,0.2547576105227804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048152762395579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250621199528673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574846715267482,0.0,0.0,0.13002293830257744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448832850638358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866377626970647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681444765094898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600261697486936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431274605713096,0.0,0.0,0.08707170278281373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23144702478743875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517450074731171
mentalhealth,CorrosiveBlueberry,2019/01/09,"Regaining a psychiatrists trust? Okay quick background I’ve had treatment resistant depression and bad anxiety most my life have been getting psychiatric treatment for 9 years straight now with various different psychs and therapists.

I have a past of drug abuse; and my doctors all know that. About a year ago my doctor prescribed metadate cd; for off label depression, it helped but stupid me ended up abusing it and thus getting taken off of it

I have since been sober, and it has been nearly a year. I have an appointment tommorow; and am thinking of asking to be placed upon it again. I imagine 99% he will refuse but; I’m willing to do whatever it takes to improve my mental health and I’m in a horrible spot right now

In the past I’ve been on max doses of nearly all psych meds. Lamictal topamax depakote seroquel Ativan abilify zyprexa celexa cymbalta Effexor viibryd Paxil remeron trazadone lexapro Zoloft hydroxyzine and various others

At current I’ve got weaned off of nearly all meds all I take now is 25mg seroquel and 20mg trintellix (which I hate so much makes me puke); anyways I’m running out of options and I don’t know what to do

I also am going to start going to therapy again; which I’ve refused for a few years now due to my anxiety and lack of it helping. But things have gotten really bad and I can’t function in the normal world as it stands. ",4.406013986013988,6.571949615384617,5.039860139860142,79.97877622377624,72.07692307692308,8.265734265734267,32.2027972027972,8.97023862654752,3.054423076923076,1100,53,191,23,22,353,156,260,0.165,0.792,0.043,-0.9872,2,0,1,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,11,8,2,0,9,1,21,7,0,2,4,33,40,18,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,14,14,0,2,4,1,0,3,2,6,0,0,8,0,16,2,34,29,10,40,0,2,0,0,6,18,0,2,18,129,30,4,0.0,0.30741841500907435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149980951878268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374528460949617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198486669047299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128033055304853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166387853950603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22347305735650927,0.0,0.0,0.1355405656222841,0.0,0.2655689454436461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504459766833622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149025515134122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555746846950126,0.0,0.14745745327511306,0.0,0.10375718256941867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280818261522486,0.0,0.13789725648690782,0.0,0.0,0.17391098870365593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259277480672414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163235680644533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865959914448496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882022647572863,0.0,0.13073764282759326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536670717576924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710816259925428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476845265134012,0.0,0.0,0.1355405656222841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310856058143902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078897865307076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731425568930576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182378341336754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950821008052463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835791927273473,0.15062689260814702,0.08618705559684678,0.08312594642910122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341682733458411
mentalhealth,SkeletalDiva,2019/01/09,"I got it all, but I'm never happy, what should I do? I'm just gonna get right into it. I'm 18 years old and I recently just finished high school. Last year during my senior year I was majorly depressed and isolated myself from all my so-called ""friends"". I only had one good friend who was also going through her own stuff and we sort of fed off of each other's sadness, but we would also make light of our situations. Last year is when I can say my ""depression"" really escalated. I was constantly stressed out about my grades, I was in a semi-stressful relationship, I isolated myself from almost everyone and I hardly ever left the house. Not to mention I've had an eating disorder than nobody really knows about. I've been bulimic for 3 years and I also have anorexic tendencies. During my final exams, all I did was binge eat and watch Netflix. I had been a perfect straight-A student the year before and I think I was just super burned out so I didn't feel the passion or desire to study. School was hard and demanding and I found myself just going through the motions. I would do my school work, go to school and talk to my one friend, come home and watch TV,  sleep, wake up, binge eat then purge. 

Although my depression escalated during this time, I have always had ups and downs. When I was younger a feeling of sadness would sometimes overcome me for absolutely no reason and then I would go back to normal. As I got older this feeling would come and go and I would ignore it. I told my mum and all she did was tell me to try and push it down and be happy. As I turned like 18 this feeling of sadness is now more pronounced and persistent. It's not a crippling feeling, I can still function but I'm it's as if there is a constant and subtle sadness that is with me most of the time.  Sometimes this sadness intensifies though and I have found that I have lost passion for most of the things I used to like. I have my whole life ahead of me, I'm a young and attractive girl but I have no true passion. There is nothing that really drives me except my eating disorder (I know it's fucked). I am happy at times when I get to leave the house and go out ut these moments are fleeting. Starving myself also makes me happy.

 I thought that after high school I would become happy because all the stress was off my shoulders but I'm not really. My final exam results came back and I got all A's, I have even been featured in several local newspapers as they were so good. I consider it an act of divine intervention from God that that even happened as I know I did not try as hard as I should have to get those grades. It was purely God. It was just a blessing that I really didn't deserve. 

​

Anyways, I know I've been ranting but here's my question (finally). I've got the perfect grades (which have opened up doors to so many privileged opportunities btw), I'm attractive and I'm young. Why am I not happy? I have not been diagnosed but I think I am depressed. Should I seek a counselor and get on anti-depressants? (I'm skeptical about this as I don't wanna be a zombie). Mental illness runs in my family and my mum has even called me crazy a couple of times when I've had sever breakdowns. What should I do? I don't want to go into 2019 with the same things that have been plaguing me. I want to get better and I want to be happy. Help me, I guess.

Thanks xx.",2.8032789136405256,4.623832219764012,4.145366697182382,86.1629203539823,75.62241887905606,6.9177499745702375,24.81649883023091,7.753152298057669,1.3055575424677044,2647,89,531,38,58,872,279,678,0.175,0.698,0.127,-0.9862,0,0,0,0,0,0,79.0,3,0,1,9,33,44,2,2,23,0,71,15,3,5,12,119,128,60,0,18,21,2,8,2,3,12,3,1,2,1,33,42,5,1,16,2,0,15,13,15,0,2,40,12,90,29,66,73,14,77,2,10,2,4,22,23,1,8,41,376,123,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05188265720206717,0.0,0.0,0.1657375033569442,0.04311208642347838,0.05613873851829495,0.06295776492324907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968110997369868,0.0,0.031584372067957056,0.05722275034996384,0.04408855568583822,0.0,0.0,0.0458238775249192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052906276712907034,0.059259608761187375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926362901128829,0.0,0.11198164481543396,0.0,0.0,0.05732946040296912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231298194251908,0.052588518556675665,0.0,0.0,0.11876305082329593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206817427203672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266484992687087,0.04686730279112634,0.0,0.04950899041223365,0.0,0.0,0.048844141081803384,0.0,0.13098958892747173,0.0,0.0,0.17027393000506913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136192946980701,0.12009044811857625,0.047899750036813175,0.1353492623188241,0.0,0.2061233574907394,0.08691560413699148,0.1657565108538152,0.0,0.05707722516092144,0.0,0.04581755441907631,0.3860870130537445,0.13924126164795506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034728774881884285,0.109485338895151,0.051972084652066215,0.0,0.0,0.11956915901528885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389901036062232,0.08446807988043295,0.0,0.05486187468203359,0.05629434903497008,0.0,0.036596646539111315,0.0506258653224864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655938007187264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917038917388524,0.05252966449541832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05221473582769913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03996093464168195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507651735806232,0.0497154171198306,0.0,0.05436842200051502,0.0,0.07021887728756351,0.039405682339756436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058041771429587635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16596182407475235,0.053271800043587635,0.05115851687378019,0.05562715189019977,0.0,0.04424752602140195,0.0,0.04120331825407224,0.0,0.2621846903213887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706658001661975,0.0,0.0,0.0582393341464141,0.05184984116889788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248762209110997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04137746782224147,0.0,0.17805286597953554,0.0,0.059312828157425064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0416448628725659,0.045286341301786055,0.04770191774795392,0.0,0.0,0.06884374297142767,0.06639861694533952,0.050905442390724566,0.04113327624447072,0.1208489617289701,0.0,0.0,0.04950899041223365,0.0,0.07035446812595714,0.05635703775639062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04474929777923923,0.0,0.0,0.09168092824350814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04675265272137725,0.0578467197912772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037720060922697286,0.0,0.0,0.2576424103848383,0.0,0.06295776492324907,0.20019300949644464
mentalhealth,GonnaKmsSTG,2019/01/09,"i’m gonna break down, how do i stop myself from crying boyfriend, well, ex, is stressing me out big time. so much to say i’ve wasted 2 years on somebody that never loved me. i gave them my virginity. currently wanting to die. how can i stop myself from crying pls",1.8505555555555588,3.7812896111111085,3.4812592592592613,89.3396666666667,78.81481481481481,5.801481481481483,21.91111111111111,6.742157984588678,0.4846488888888887,205,6,43,2,5,68,43,54,0.366,0.58,0.053,-0.9635,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,7,8,3,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,9,2,7,6,1,11,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,6,26,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5768403102835679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725055814688427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236979133703216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193018719652639,0.0,0.20250970715263925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20880572459498326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4390395487531461,0.3007723590595029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531063278979664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487023428049893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360814227311795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908608407456813
mentalhealth,HolisticNutritionist,2019/01/09,"Holistic Habits for Mental Health What It Is:
A four-week guide to calm anxiety, reduce stress, balance mood and improve sleep. 
 
Who It's For:
Anyone who has every wanted to live a more vibrant life. Seriously...it doesn't matter if you feel good already and just want to feel a little better, or if you need an entire lifestyle overhaul. Whether you've delved into holistic health before or it's brand new to you, this guide will support you in finding your most vibrant mental well-being.
Your health goals may include: calm anxiety; heal depression naturally; reduce/eliminate panic attacks; increase energy; improve sleep; reduce stress; balance hormones and mood; or simply learning to get more in tune with your mind and body. 

Learn more: bit.do/holistichabits",10.110883315158128,10.31184567175573,8.372693565976007,68.36671755725193,57.93129770992367,9.92846237731734,38.561613958560535,9.23628265651192,3.813265212649945,617,26,88,8,7,185,88,131,0.132,0.659,0.209,0.8938,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,7,0,2,1,12,1,3,4,0,5,8,3,0,0,25,12,10,0,5,7,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,2,7,5,11,10,5,6,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,7,1,49,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038889962314068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223730029550932,0.0,0.0,0.10162675191199874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534790772856395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367563660092533,0.0,0.0,0.12854349924276656,0.15867620506920802,0.16144258800893174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251831548245708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224572001430278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146978920463047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284027664966352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593538014729344,0.0,0.0,0.1219062691551184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4634763710547493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265960151734986,0.0,0.14567121953224402,0.1283399596310172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929418119049031,0.0,0.14675434309534927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776951239827873,0.0,0.14037254926865655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705279343390121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908946330614366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329783463619887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493277869010844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714533698264884,0.0,0.11658486787676077,0.0,0.13068022938281715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Charliescenekid,2019/01/09,"Help do you recommend me to see a therapist? Unsure if i should. Hi. First time writing on here. Just want to state that I am a high schooler and my life isn't really fucked up and I don't think I have any mental problems. And so I've come here to ask a questions I've been asking myself for a while. Let me tell you a bit of the things I do. I constantly overthink and worry about little things. With me I know that if I do anything and the outcome of it is embarrassing I will hate myself for it. For example, I hate ordering food by myself at a fastfood resturant because I sound weak and awkward and so I get angry at myself for not speaking up and just ordering my fucking food. I cannot look at people in the eyes anymore. I personally refuse to look people in the eyes or just look at people in general because Im afraid of judgement and just a certain look and lower my self esteem. Im very insecure so I hardly ever do anything for myself that I should do, If my nose is stuffy and theres tissue in the front of the class I wont go up and blow my nose because I don't like adding attention to myself. My insecurities have built up since middle school, and they've taken a tole on me. I refuse to talk to people I don't know because of fear of them insulting me and making fun of me. I hate myself. I always find some way to pick at who I am. It doesnt even have to be that serious but I take it that way because I'm sensitive . I can't talk to my parents  friends about any of my personal problems because I hate crying infront of others and seeming  weak to other people, I personally feel that I won't be able to form stronger friendships with my friends because I hold myself back. 
Im sorry if this seems like a shitload of things  that aren't making sense. But I want to change for the better so that I dont continue to hate myself and not let myself be free from my insecurities. 
If you happen to read this please give your opinion it would encourage me to think about what I should do. Thanks. ",3.679919401744911,4.545926510843373,5.089347735770669,84.06277108433736,71.8433734939759,7.748234316576651,27.081429164935606,7.990435384864732,1.5766535105940995,1582,53,327,21,29,531,184,415,0.153,0.735,0.112,-0.8556,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,4,1,2,17,30,8,7,16,0,35,11,4,3,2,63,69,29,0,13,14,1,2,2,2,7,3,2,0,4,22,19,2,3,10,1,1,3,13,20,0,1,2,13,64,11,54,55,3,33,0,0,7,2,28,18,2,11,9,235,86,3,0.07705893208708997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411920455880203,0.0,0.0,0.10480543256519564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642175427765585,0.0,0.0,0.12682587052228114,0.0,0.14407939862046953,0.0,0.0,0.05925356221096309,0.0,0.3288208683559881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815236330333757,0.0841283957506711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151813249838034,0.06637944672887422,0.0,0.08327332989898717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464561848897886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031249450108997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05089669788342565,0.06970421577989325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671272225634137,0.03896331142507626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043046788733809,0.06554628826770502,0.18635993311315344,0.0,0.11907107955507965,0.14247948200685162,0.04026011152537228,0.07392194934391065,0.04379436692888005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814295915358233,0.0,0.06902966723324555,0.3803987093800769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051650977845401694,0.08141699257896359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24971061009958145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469914761978045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759595792286274,0.05442900263647522,0.07529420364148932,0.07723329405909572,0.0,0.0,0.25884038066072584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287487108109336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765727908953121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556482477293073,0.0,0.0,0.26711480442390045,0.20185466159062976,0.0,0.08458756706862104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474699819424934,0.0,0.0,0.08632363970262924,0.0,0.07707978532849777,0.0,0.0493659251017172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798775325217458,0.061405992019840726,0.14030311528200204,0.08038927209545517,0.0,0.0,0.06374394492747293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626116556380553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793872682706666,0.12387410134226914,0.06735290315403544,0.07094551147175568,0.0,0.08947135946978317,0.15358359120522516,0.09875250435620801,0.0,0.0,0.0449336829914986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358168923607625,0.09090270934610388,0.1223315869853698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782570860640172,0.0,0.05474045442589704,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reddituser1103,2019/01/09,"anybody have trouble opening up to therapists? went to a therapist for the first time today, felt very uneasy and couldn't open up.

​

I don't know how some people just get really comfortable talking to therapists, it just didn't feel right talking about personal issues to them",8.772941176470585,9.552198843137257,7.930196078431373,68.4858823529412,60.568627450980394,11.505882352941176,38.568627450980394,11.20814326018867,4.797203921568628,235,11,35,6,3,73,42,51,0.107,0.8240000000000001,0.069,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,11,9,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,3,2,2,1,8,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,23,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063496255914528,0.2314143773600013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629590313203586,0.0,0.18285932340391106,0.0,0.0,0.16199441974608986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950088064222128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19877755500696406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466488365913346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203221385019268,0.1662912812793018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200544994127105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626409974440172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061487339535027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6633721608463317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105138209403327,0.0,0.18052182063082572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15713901010241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765466026876812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314143773600013,0.0
mentalhealth,howdydodahdan3,2019/01/09,"Way to combat anxiety associated with job interviews 24 year old male, one year out of college. I am in the process of trying to find a governmental accounting job as I feel this is an industry that suits me well. Since I will be relocating most of my interviews are being held over the phone or using recorded videos to answer questions. I’ve been dealing with lots of anxiety associated with these interview processes, which are much longer than I am used to and isn’t exactly normal since I am generally very confident with face to face conversation but by using technology it’s much harder to read people and successfully answer these questions. I get very shaky (my voice and my arm muscles) during and after interviews and am wondering if there are any home remedies I could use to combat this anxiety and nervousness. I haven’t been sleeping well and drinking lots of coffee which I realize isn’t helping but I’m unsure how else to ensure I’m on point during the process. Tips and pointers would be appreciated. I’m doing fine financially and really don’t need a job for at least a couple months but would rather find one asap in order to stay on track with my retirement and saving plans. Any input is welcome, thanks!",10.503947368421052,8.535595535087722,10.380947368421054,61.2456315789474,58.561403508771924,13.856842105263159,40.34385964912281,12.516099999999998,5.123256491228071,994,40,166,27,10,330,138,228,0.07400000000000001,0.7929999999999999,0.133,0.9524,3,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,9,0,2,7,0,23,5,4,5,1,49,36,17,0,7,6,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,8,16,1,1,9,3,1,0,4,2,2,2,3,2,14,7,31,26,6,16,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,9,5,111,22,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876269454970598,0.0,0.267897578775682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320051543838087,0.1291610614422754,0.0,0.0,0.12034493619618558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143523209215425,0.0,0.0,0.0975140966989366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902289756379199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21338074919417152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060987332738345126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824258932152267,0.0,0.11709110066350815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475136743099125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848170481000726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317388085888573,0.0,0.1716220041095715,0.08655484569819857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437197660480801,0.0,0.0,0.12248995621393274,0.0,0.15820042016786318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092684714234784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034889333661486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615317413818608,0.0,0.11676297797304318,0.0,0.07478111674423163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931228221708504,0.0,0.11681569081437583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442012885682475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747057945165576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925295054656344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4032737625183478,0.0,0.1926312417223629,0.0,0.09265594303166264,0.0,0.0,0.2099110748174006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659021172747634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584525883473836,0.0,0.0,0.15034237439840012
mentalhealth,joobafob,2019/01/09,"I've felt strange now for almost 2 weeks. I don't want to see a doctor because I'm finding it hard to comprehend what I'm feeling. As a bit of background, I'm 21M from the UK, and I've been suffering from anxiety (GAD, panic, health anxiety) for about 6-7 years, but it's been really bad over the past 2. As a result, I've been practically housebound and haven't really had much of a life in that time, although I am in therapy and have made significant progress in the past couple months. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was just watching Netflix before bed, as I usually do, when I had this weird thought of ""huh, my laptop is just a chunk of metal and plastic, so why do I like it"". This seemingly benign thought has spiraled into a series of bizarre and abstract existential questions that have sucked almost all of the joy out of my life. The questions are things like, ""why do I enjoy certain things?"", ""am I wrong to enjoy things?"", ""what's the point in caring about anything?"", ""why do I like things now that I thought were boring as a kid? Should I find them boring now?"". Like I said, very weird, almost nonsensical thoughts and questions. It's gotten to point know where I'm not even really having the thoughts, but I'll try doing something I usually enjoy and I just feel nothing. It's like if I'm watching TV, I can't empathise at all. It all feels so separate. The only thing I feel is a sort of heat or pressure sensation in my head, like my mind is trying really hard to feel something, but just can't. It's almost like fog, or a cloud. 

Right now, I don't know what to do. I keep telling myself to snap out of it, but I just can't. I keep saying it's just depression, but how could depression come out of nowhere as the result of one thought? I'm scared to see a doctor because I don't know what I'd say. I just feel wrong and it's all seemingly because of a conscious thought that I had one night. I'm scared that I've lost the ability to enjoy life now. I'm really confused and feel super low and honestly didn't really know where else to post something like this because, like I said, I'm not even sure what I'm feeling. Depression? Existential crisis? Derealization? 

To clarify, they are just thoughts, not voices and I haven't felt compelled to kill or harm myself, I've just been feeling very low. ",4.370227744704415,5.056373637339057,5.389748027135543,83.19485463103976,70.13733905579399,8.502173612072546,29.40994046794961,8.654491914285503,2.103994406756196,1809,67,371,29,31,597,188,466,0.19,0.642,0.16899999999999998,-0.8718,0,0,3,0,0,0,73.0,0,0,2,3,24,42,2,5,22,1,37,7,1,5,6,91,85,30,1,4,21,0,13,9,0,1,6,5,1,1,28,16,0,2,31,2,0,1,12,22,0,2,25,22,33,20,47,58,6,37,0,7,4,0,11,18,1,15,26,220,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548799823838434,0.0,0.2479779604912761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472282895601042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050947121712102784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169273763499985,0.1509604286130811,0.0,0.05268133278813932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759030472415165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312194941896686,0.0,0.0,0.0533304717365826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04943055022834232,0.13700573017516174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997044252286569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673617788050068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051718334734265015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178269153233869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281734586985242,0.0,0.11888770683782235,0.0,0.1131702736963645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091941553550028,0.0,0.06353810318206171,0.06580803790203064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005791355418516,0.06849486983172783,0.0,0.1360977146043153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118779365295338,0.2722173833467516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758269753922261,0.0,0.0,0.058581275652530025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251202418838431,0.0,0.049416424105612686,0.0,0.045511390438799065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809887341308843,0.0,0.0594048589990947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390440523285017,0.04708577617912831,0.0,0.07263871127322949,0.0,0.0,0.11820128350478047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170509946015013,0.0,0.0592932097495535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080620126059652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237968968088026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287128614499119,0.11778225363521808,0.09846753594677783,0.12396655637577594,0.0,0.09866941299606916,0.1127221104246796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429853380021756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05834997693740236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05411256458199151,0.0,0.07080012919251558,0.0,0.20565314952151373,0.0,0.0,0.3932005992561884,0.036100549626249034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406642247222942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637148630031645,0.10216540353578356,0.03651645660261587,0.0,0.0993218452959382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759397207023902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537897277534064,0.0,0.039868375481580204
mentalhealth,ThisIsMyAltAccount__,2019/01/09,"I’m not sure what’s going on with me So these last few months I’ve gone through a lot of “trauma” if you will. My mom was diagnosed with cancer, the girl I was in love with broke up with me for no real reason, and my anxiety has been on an all time high. 

I go to a therapist but lately I just haven’t had any motivation to. I stopped going a week ago, I quit my job, and now I just drive out of town 3 times a week for a play I’m in. 

I’ve been hanging out with friends, but whenever I do I get this huge sense of dread. I can’t really feel anything, and when I do feel something it’s never anything good. I can recognize something that SHOULD make me happy, but I can’t FEEL happy and it’s so frustrating. I don’t feel like myself. When I talk to my friends, I feel like I’m in a shell and I’m not the funny interesting person I always use to be. 

I’ve been smoking weed in my room on my own to help deal with the anxiety. I only smoke right before I go to bed just to knock me out. It helps but I just feel so meh lately. Like I really don’t care about my own well being and it’s really scary. ",0.9426639344262284,2.0884123647540997,3.3860327868852487,92.51593442622952,79.04098360655738,6.847213114754098,19.98688524590164,7.554174236665415,0.3388973770491801,843,19,208,12,20,294,125,244,0.152,0.642,0.207,0.967,1,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,12,18,1,1,10,0,19,3,0,4,3,43,39,16,0,2,11,1,6,3,2,2,2,0,2,2,8,15,0,1,8,1,0,7,9,4,1,0,7,6,33,14,31,28,5,37,0,1,0,1,11,16,0,2,17,132,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429999568789207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790395814730443,0.0,0.0,0.08001398921023012,0.0,0.18002175333360465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936511035195669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012143852751966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996394252028393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130404379465425,0.0,0.1194241463803902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569597380961949,0.16811508065723552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181027150179407,0.0,0.061473380727471376,0.0,0.2674794172133362,0.09868904958797788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505061301698741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773231149822092,0.1243160436686361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676107944420228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590998770235176,0.2654550399194118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724506864856071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003176774077632,0.1061942759706664,0.0,0.07854009685581849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780395825245356,0.09391644452575153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074795486018933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948702312065501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027376559861706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514769874152906,0.0,0.1339247713774856,0.2261312892908313,0.12097582173751295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048244692147247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811634466006338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983704477979863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089475758926902,0.0,0.0,0.09457201564491033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661429977470918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721896424867672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162192879892684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876223326065775,0.0,0.10579199681124588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,intro-vert123,2019/01/09,"Any quick solutions to stopping a panic attack when public speaking? I'm a teacher, an had an attack in the middle of teaching a class today. I still feel awful now. 
This happens from time to time, I sweat, my heart starts pounding, I get lost for words as well as mixing them up...but today was on another scale. I couldn't really hide it well this time.
Can anyone help?",2.4952446183953043,4.720371753424658,3.833307240704503,86.15410958904111,78.04109589041096,5.815264187866927,21.38747553816047,6.868970318607317,0.6663283757338556,290,8,54,3,7,95,58,73,0.212,0.657,0.131,-0.8139,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,6,6,2,1,6,1,4,2,2,0,0,4,10,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,3,2,6,2,9,6,0,14,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,11,34,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357463873239064,0.2093158019264308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957682938848084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4541862506194535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009323397590142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429162991006548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176520630663017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365470750402429,0.1337990497753797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790550732754524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342075088439008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787974488425596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128992146004146,0.0,0.1594143731115365,0.16688872833132373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491947880540981,0.0,0.37842710107497207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35895926491495944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hildrisking,2019/01/09,"a ""gambling"" kind of circumstance so recently i was diagnosed with clinical depression and prescribed some medication with a very interesting curve ball. before the medicine i was just sad, always, couldnt get out of bed, not that i didnt want to, i couldnt, i slept for 18 hours some days, didnt pick up my phone ever, i sold myself to to the dark in exchange for just living in it. well now, im, i think, happy. which is great, i had the best time talking to my girlfriend yesterday, i woke up early and got to work, but then something strange happened. i stopped working to play dayZ with a friend of mine, we play alot together, i gathered alot of loot and died ofcourse. nbd, except, this time it was. my throat tightened up and i wanted to cry? i was so hurt by that? dying in a video game? i die all the fucking time its nbd? this devastated me and it ruined my entire day. this medicine does good for me, but its like a gamble, ""dont fuck up, or ill stop working for you and start working against you"". that sucks, still early in this medication so it might subside after a month or two.",2.7453216374268976,4.680470666666668,3.702943469785577,88.76271929824564,76.12962962962962,6.584405458089669,25.720272904483426,7.475848149327749,1.2233462962962962,848,31,175,11,19,272,130,216,0.198,0.6459999999999999,0.156,-0.9475,0,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,1,2,0,5,9,18,3,0,12,0,12,9,2,1,2,34,25,14,3,4,8,0,0,1,2,1,5,0,1,0,14,11,0,2,1,5,4,0,6,7,1,1,11,0,25,11,31,11,6,28,0,4,0,2,9,9,3,7,20,120,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059176397748226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831662642014284,0.0,0.13358572958523734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982494307786889,0.16418639172653707,0.0,0.10963692921170286,0.12919930875217758,0.3963288633405471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139461141473622,0.0,0.14918597829702726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514344366188399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834594641881657,0.2353599136849145,0.0665051293006595,0.0,0.0,0.1067669928957499,0.1018075200217216,0.14034054005720584,0.0,0.0,0.11256442512789697,0.13550533889955949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535756912130247,0.0,0.13626936022696198,0.0,0.1374978507113948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325556538075824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218873419677059,0.0,0.11240169724766223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564678037706192,0.0,0.13503733192325654,0.0,0.0,0.10160373828036637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568608506732645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799606185758464,0.0,0.0,0.09009835692167274,0.0,0.10165603419285613,0.21284462551919767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231296952044927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156395775052219,0.0,0.0,0.2226760148506687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243463731306962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502972554198606,0.15016094615219786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445133395376655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.370682113210727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dallenallred,2019/01/09,"Are there too many therapists, or not enough? After a few contradictory conversations with friends earlier this week I'm totally confused: 

\- One complains about how there aren't enough therapists and it takes months of waiting before you can be seen, and charge $250/hr

\- Next friend is a mental health therapist with a masters degree, and complains that she only makes $30/hr.

Why is there such a disconnect between prices and wages?

​

​",8.589113924050636,9.93955449367089,7.151746835443039,71.92964556962029,61.02531645569621,10.370632911392406,37.31898734177216,10.355215969177356,4.1165068354430385,371,17,58,8,5,111,62,79,0.129,0.794,0.077,-0.5028,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,1,7,5,0,1,4,0,6,1,0,2,1,13,11,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,1,1,2,2,6,9,4,4,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,2,4,38,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249541757317377,0.3644255134069278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760137340301525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098889328359023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317110169769225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939604358580953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009668631812207,0.15203168327349004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112021475519022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969331926168908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15947973496784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161395674375616,0.11404817209857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127481279720622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5223308574302797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028552807928256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531181969288714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3644255134069278,0.0
mentalhealth,4235rlplnotcreative,2019/01/09,"How to help my parents learn about mental health Straight to the point my parents don’t really believe that I am ill. I have been to three therapists and am now considering pills as my life goes from three days of being functioning and happy to whole months of being a sack of sadness, anxiety and failing at jobs, school and my relationship with my husband. He’s patient and has his own problems but he’s much better at functioning and even if he doesn’t fully understand my struggles doesn’t do what my parents do. For example ( a lot of this comes from my mother) : This is just stress right? Doesn’t everyone go through that? Come on pick yourself up! 
She loves me and is trying to help but I can stand hearing that my illness is just nothing. That I could walk away from it if I really wanted to. I can’t that’s why I’m in therapy mom. What resources could I send her and my dad to help them understand a little better or at least send them a list of “what not to say”? Thank you and sorry for any spelling errors. ",4.520788177339902,5.504309231527095,5.178300492610838,83.76282019704435,69.98522167487684,8.361576354679803,28.785714285714285,8.634040054169528,2.047971428571429,806,29,161,13,14,260,122,203,0.129,0.754,0.117,0.4627,4,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,2,3,6,10,0,2,5,0,20,6,0,2,0,30,30,16,0,6,8,7,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,11,12,0,0,3,0,0,6,6,5,0,2,1,2,24,5,29,25,5,21,0,2,0,1,25,11,0,4,3,116,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603560801497905,0.0,0.09678483198284916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886648491713506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254085320139487,0.0,0.22378725495218602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179656500330364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202637743818488,0.0,0.0,0.08159272307014914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356300319892772,0.0,0.0,0.12089200716136253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190228395867605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467924442572995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448120081858814,0.14259337261075372,0.0,0.2544041758942032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554817678285238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893623969838591,0.0,0.12680284314919407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755986601016143,0.11418614658546015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749894847484264,0.0,0.0,0.1481746811044485,0.10098432145594112,0.0,0.0930042382701772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213960638752102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214450459591304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959905516750137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105927383571324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620995124925842,0.0,0.0,0.13583145179657144,0.0,0.10804446198785993,0.0,0.10061105677914127,0.0,0.12804152617945874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162494530512273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492430681021168,0.13226259169552435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647946229522392,0.14468272714793814,0.1468954924091569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589644823796899,0.0,0.0,0.2634164284857694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462275263198677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416152865457788,0.14125123548349305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aecker7,2019/01/09,"Please help. This is my first post on here. I have commented and reached out to a couple people through this reddit community, but I just don’t know where to turn for now is all. 

2018 was a bitch. 

 I struggled very hard with depression and anxiety. I almost went through with suicide. But I checked myself into a metal hospital and sought help. 

On top of that, my wife left me and even kept my daughter from me for 3 months until the court was involved. She took my car, house, and everything else I worked my ass off for. 

Up until the past week, I was feeling on top of the world. However, yesterday I had one of the darkest thoughts I had ever had, and I don’t want that to happen again. I don’t want to get into what it was because it’s so brutal, but I just don’t want to cause any more pain to myself that I already have. 

The next couple months will be very hard, but I expect to get some answers that I have been waiting for. 

But how do I deal with the fact that those answers might not be what I’m expecting? Please help. ",3.0753571428571433,4.344359428571431,3.913511904761908,90.38169642857143,73.76190476190476,6.9642857142857135,25.029761904761905,7.413659706084162,0.9834047619047612,800,25,174,9,16,256,118,210,0.203,0.6890000000000001,0.108,-0.9863,1,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,0,4,10,5,2,1,9,0,22,2,1,2,3,40,37,15,1,5,8,2,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,12,12,0,2,5,0,1,3,5,5,0,2,12,3,26,0,30,21,3,29,0,1,0,1,9,13,2,3,12,126,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648647105429246,0.0,0.15041232328966514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268983490399556,0.0,0.10427043296002936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308825562329651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001939936282645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016304931096045,0.0,0.0,0.1405210751706403,0.11739646071601903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386258654115833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900259921362113,0.12329269761339355,0.0,0.0,0.12249918567733388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891823858570878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593816254370112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424240327687918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053114956395425,0.0,0.24419911459635846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27408048372733385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572738699308185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490785369835608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480922037234351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459457179536214,0.0,0.0,0.2175894446404925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495841195278902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236156433784287,0.0,0.14503462648214654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011540241474798,0.0944944418107824,0.0,0.0,0.2992366878174527,0.0,0.0,0.13053935825854535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424921386747023,0.0,0.14909194505200205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082083304955607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514362119274742,0.0,0.14825711745035294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22492636627564144,0.2411828351466869,0.0,0.10933300795108268,0.0,0.0,0.12635304815452858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922926621203873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,okthrowtheseaway,2019/01/09,"Why do I feel nothing, total apathy For reference my gf of a year just possibly broke up with me and listed out my flaws, most of which were that I'm immature and don't have any ambition in life to do things. I wanted to say ""I'll get better and fix myself up so I can be with you"" but I just don't feel the urge that I can follow through on it. I want to. How do I help myself I don't want to be like this the rest of my life, where can I start?",1.6018907563025202,1.8258453235294136,3.975210084033616,92.51558823529413,76.15686274509805,7.789355742296919,20.45378151260504,7.957251820313856,0.4195781512605046,341,6,89,5,7,120,64,102,0.02,0.8420000000000001,0.138,0.8479,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,3,0,13,2,0,1,1,18,22,6,0,3,3,0,2,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,3,16,2,16,19,3,9,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,66,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861176780952072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24205538404371765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767704259538109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299103192566248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834477437408248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866287975267713,0.13371045768132625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26261165649480744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085428484885868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176482122980832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937182464948442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818265884952006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4842859987873977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469614515572465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762465276979161
mentalhealth,484845647,2019/01/09,"Almost lack of fear That I know of I fear nothing. Something can jump out at me, I don't flinch. I can ride intense roller coasters without fear, when I got into a car crash as I wasn't scared as I was about to hit the other car, nothing really scares me. I used to be scared of the dark and other normal stuff when I was younger but that's gone away completely. I get nervous when talking to people, but it feels somewhat different than fear, but I guess that's the only thing I've found i really ""fear""",3.8875137362637346,4.539870855769231,4.7273626373626385,87.63192307692306,71.21153846153845,7.481318681318682,26.395604395604394,7.447530270364453,1.2087296703296704,395,12,84,4,7,128,64,104,0.16699999999999998,0.77,0.063,-0.8764,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,9,4,0,7,0,0,1,0,16,16,9,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,1,0,5,3,9,0,0,6,1,14,0,15,8,2,12,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,3,57,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858096402042418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064251133135492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346321937097253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415788258031353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7224673200024303,0.06492638784993582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407915402896562,0.0,0.0,0.06708730649868977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269872972791898,0.0,0.14145467928172498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056907521188789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581150059909854,0.2464197712560729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765923521215887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902117791417659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452149894334606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38567312901947104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885390655783824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699518171470233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320860386540777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853078399932818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090233534650867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377967132278145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theoptimalme,2019/01/09,"Delusional family member, refuses to talk about problems to anyone (UK) I just want to cut straight to the chase. 

A and D are partners and own a house where their kid O lives, and where A's sibling T lives. I live 30 minutes away and don't have a car, but they are reachable by phone.

T has been mentally unwell for the past 5/6 years.

T has delusions that the government (namely the big politicians, but not Trump, Trump is ""draining the swap of the bad people"") are paedophiles and have various sex rings around the world that include sex trafficking.

T has stated that they know people who have gone missing and have been killed to cover-up these sex crimes.

T spends the majority of the day on social media being an activist speaking out about these people (George Soros, Hiliary Clinton, pizza gate etc) and reading news about sexual child abuse cases all day.

T believes that one of their family members is a russian spy. T believes that they were sexually abused by one of their siblings when they were younger (proven untrue). T believes that they had 2 dads growing up.

T stays up all night on their computer and goes to sleep in the morning. T wakes up around lunch - dinner.

T stated that they have passed on information to the police about sexual abuse cases (info is sparse) and that T is known to the police around the area (hasn't been proven true or false).

T refuses to talk about their problems, stating that T would put other people in danger if they told them. On more than one occasion, while discussing T's problems, T will start looking around to see if anyone is listening/watching and will start whispering.

T does not hear voices or sees things. T has been been diagnosed with depression so far (clinical). T is on medication (anti-depressants) but has stopped taking them due to feeling ""subdued"". T has been booked for 2 mental health assessments but couldn't complete one over the phone because it was too traumatic and the second time physically made their self ill.

T rarely leaves the house and doesn't like to go out in public for long periods of time. 

T will victim blame often, and will cry and become distressed when dealing with family confrontation and make out that they are the victim (A's words).

Any task given to T (big, small, doesn't matter) will overwhelm T and they will become distressed, start crying and repeats the phrase ""everything is so difficult"". A (T's sibling) will give T cannabis that they smoke together with tobacco.

T will not eat during the day but will occasionally snack on something small (bitesize chocolate) and eats dinner that A and D cook for the family (but T will occasionally deny it).

A (T's sibling) is going to the doctor's tomorrow to book an appointment and hand in some information to T's doctor about the events that have been going on. Another family member and I believe that A enables T and is close to neglecting T. A has recommended holistic practices instead of going to the doctor/dentist (T has awful teeth problems such as abscesses) such as putting honey on T's teeth instead of taking antibiotics.

I believe that A let's T sleep in until past noon and has rejected proposals of setting up a timer for the internet (A doesn't want to seem like the bad guy). A offers T weed which I think exacerbates the problems but T claims it reduces their anxiety. 

My questions:

1. Should I challenge their delusions? At the moment I just listen and don't say much. Do I enable the delusions?
2. What if T refuses to speak to a doctor? Is there anything that can be done (UK)? They are not a danger to themselves or others at the moment, but it could always take a turn for the worse. 
3. What should I say in terms of convincing T that they need help? They seem aware that they aren't okay, but don't realise the full scope of how ill they really are.
4. Should I convince A to put a timer on the internet? Should I convince A to stop giving T cannabis if possible?
5. What are things that I can do to make T suffer less? How can I improve T's quality of life?

Any advice at all is welcomed. I just want to make T mentally healthy again. I want T to stop suffering in pain and I'm willing to go far and tell my family (A and D) that they're really hindering T's efforts of getting better.",5.403883597883599,6.623998519753092,5.7844047619047645,79.35375,68.12345679012347,8.798059964726631,30.26675485008818,9.09142767046562,2.5755273368606697,3371,128,613,61,56,1080,353,810,0.189,0.753,0.058,-0.999,0,1,3,0,3,0,114.0,0,0,25,5,29,35,7,3,56,2,79,28,6,6,4,111,118,53,1,21,23,1,2,2,2,16,11,9,1,5,35,38,8,7,10,4,1,12,13,25,0,5,16,15,42,10,93,81,13,92,0,7,3,3,61,45,0,12,32,388,77,9,0.0,0.20370717395496374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056002184361581615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768609857598582,0.0,0.0,0.07794485634985437,0.06009401220373016,0.04384161395380945,0.0,0.0,0.08014427588775551,0.0,0.047160838982058834,0.20407043671713204,0.0,0.0,0.05384416583692392,0.0,0.09570208460145098,0.03493534191546313,0.12658768991942662,0.0,0.3228409313046892,0.0,0.050685599377467895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060087924937047135,0.0,0.0,0.04575697589525723,0.0,0.12590359893155068,0.11087966759860016,0.05908358251822985,0.09872118421582148,0.05816794054516011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23463482439691946,0.050151933446117465,0.05864752037034818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728386053775412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391524641763004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051506087158767484,0.0,0.32415780163464103,0.0,0.02897740735007232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029941850652848375,0.10995299731486914,0.16285156006015844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056745419479792815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609173231956227,0.06459197651425562,0.0,0.03841335272372416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225494696414544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340447543798777,0.0,0.0314958048098896,0.0,0.0,0.06068249025234158,0.0,0.058602851020980874,0.040479397755711057,0.05599705800710096,0.0,0.1518160268616818,0.05071710791217733,0.04812554987450578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05422763868829643,0.11476361747904935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0577332963525849,0.17326350309337407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04212907980283282,0.042494271298838905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378108756677378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533761327803738,0.0,0.06098135323368881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109416813188043,0.15892477746734254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460785522725983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741872791582856,0.0,0.17283564254610884,0.06419976075221558,0.0,0.05732501310149196,0.0,0.07342787194237148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114963616566614,0.0,0.0,0.09133651013804878,0.10434484070556056,0.05978631176062179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470178514871256,0.05841982251419844,0.0,0.04411965632668868,0.0,0.0,0.12169188641765415,0.0610843063496842,0.0,0.14373993532317048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292688450139236,0.09212641747921063,0.05009103280806775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614777632027347,0.03672161632196319,0.0,0.0,0.06683526569796026,0.0,0.0,0.05476168733762778,0.0,0.0,0.06233628387881138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521052198104452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05840328100602207,0.04071102759008331,0.0,0.0,0.03690544182629276
mentalhealth,notcutepotato,2019/01/09,"Should i meet my old friends ? A few days ago my old friend was asking me and my other friends to meet up. And i recently keep having flashback of bad memories that made me realized what mean things they did to me back then , maybe its not a big deal but it affect me so much and i can't stop thinking about it . And i feel like an outsider when i meet them because they barely listen to me when i talk , i want to meet them but in the other side i am afraid these uncomfortable things will happen again , so i wonder should i meet them or not .... ",3.3166071428571406,4.240257446428572,3.9878571428571448,91.40714285714287,72.75,7.028571428571429,22.92857142857143,7.1686216300943375,0.5412464285714287,422,10,95,4,8,134,73,112,0.051,0.83,0.119,0.679,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,5,0,7,6,0,1,4,0,8,0,0,2,0,21,18,12,0,3,5,0,1,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,10,4,0,2,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,2,23,4,8,12,2,15,0,0,0,0,17,4,0,2,12,71,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712200817389828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805736701699906,0.0,0.0,0.1485241235253096,0.1612761954125944,0.11774537729303775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456887094560552,0.19913412418482926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976648738593884,0.13798983241486892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476927732673568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080615755510176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168486701552926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436568186882184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18276774827378556,0.0,0.0,0.19404996498012125,0.2104022096374498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199100751315166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40536695473976575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19071706912820416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148606720054562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525051695492706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566469414998879,0.12376580080717407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392770938932725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20946814830354366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,redstarsx,2019/01/09,"Should I be worried? I don’t have these kind of thoughts... I will try to make this short and simple.  I was standing outside the bus stop alone until a old guy joined me, but for some reason I thought he wanted to kill me.  This thought of mine made me uncomfortable and I kept staring back thinking if he was going to stab me behind my back.  I don’t know why I randomly thought this, I’m sure the stranger sensed his presence was making me uncomfortable and tried to talk to me before he stopped smoking and got on the bus.  But for some odd reason I kept thinking he was out to get me.

Should I be concerned? ",2.98560975609756,4.596075081300814,3.5013089430894304,91.86757317073172,74.60975609756099,5.895609756097563,26.934146341463407,6.2581,0.8398526829268298,477,18,102,3,10,149,73,123,0.221,0.757,0.023,-0.9775,0,1,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,0,12,0,0,5,1,31,29,8,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,4,9,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,12,1,20,2,14,12,2,11,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,4,6,65,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700624474557167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525204688405752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397227367435841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578811010352934,0.0,0.09331906519040337,0.0,0.13132633270294405,0.0,0.0,0.162584549320111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166379169395694,0.17098980399362113,0.09024043310339068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537071146280088,0.2192105394847044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17230105627574768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33765141894806594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745583440103819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475725527685205,0.0,0.0,0.1319783359048714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104264095585188,0.0,0.5214281882183219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22296304961188693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684985141158987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816562907619796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667538231087699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,F_UT,2019/01/09,"Help me label my mental state I’ve noticed recently that I don’t care about what happens to me. For example, if I were to be in a bad accident or be diagnosed with a disease, I wouldn’t mind whatsoever. 
However, I’m 99% sure that I’m not depressed. I enjoy life and I actively look to make myself better. I’m not trying to subconsciously punish myself for anything; it’s just that if something negative happened to occur, I would be totally apathetic toward it. 
The closest comparison I can make is a kind of reverse psychopathy. I can feel compassion and guilt for other people, but not myself. 
Is there a word or term for this type of blasé attitude toward one’s wellbeing that differs from depression?",5.094179104477611,6.7392196119403,6.8957014925373175,69.49071641791046,69.29850746268656,10.434626865671644,33.549253731343285,10.577609850970193,4.164211343283582,564,27,93,17,10,196,89,134,0.145,0.755,0.1,-0.7881,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,3,10,1,1,5,0,11,2,0,2,2,21,21,7,0,4,9,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,1,2,14,5,17,15,2,7,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,4,2,71,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839361197335662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085806833874256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809792051717594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086346136985848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35249620547915805,0.20769583028786395,0.0,0.21379550463720493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346741904142748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619084647373643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371596297431284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130913612682348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453669921316553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718382316025999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731851325175061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20621959333780845,0.0,0.2066186506930225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329733826922235,0.0,0.0,0.1386630430024806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186514641930265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20204810726783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753469294090838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19286199190163614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13893079775705922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453637622021334,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SneakyDoggg,2019/01/09,"Hey if anyone sees this, would anyone like to chat? feel really alone and I feel like I want to rant but I don't want to waste your time, Dm me if you want, I would appreciate it :)

(also even though ive had reddit for like half a year+ I still don't really know how to dm others, sorry about that)",-1.095069444444448,0.9854539375000044,1.380208333333332,97.83284722222223,95.5625,4.719444444444443,8.67361111111111,6.42735559955562,-1.3864909722222218,228,1,55,3,9,77,44,64,0.068,0.627,0.304,0.9388,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,0,13,13,7,0,7,3,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,9,3,6,10,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,6,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368321039067912,0.0,0.1828665034566424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319781340106986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510337069463782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312438175425048,0.16336116747360838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567049309872574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351483444052525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929824124160953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221957394403834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559762055773652,0.0,0.0,0.18261534557443304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246661152330026,0.0,0.1333387231624207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046246731602456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248797700317937,0.0,0.0,0.14725532814072598
mentalhealth,xxkilicxx,2019/01/09,"Don't know what to do, advice needed. I  have never done a post of this kind, and never talked to someone that could help me. I have been in therapy, and diagnosed with Schizophrenia, adaption disorder, anxiety disorder, sleeping disorder, depression etc etc.   


Ever since i can remember i didnt see the point in living. I was born into a religios family, yet i never believed in anything myself, i feel like im stuck here, yet i dont have a contact person either as i cant process the past.  


I go by the months with everything feeling numb, i do dangerous things to entertain myself and i dont know if in a point of weekness i could controll myself. I dont want to kill myself, as it would destroy my mother. Shes the only one thats important to me, yet i cant talk to her in fear of having a breakdown and making her sad.  


My father and siblings tell me its my own fault and im starting to believe that aswell. I have a good social life with good friends, yet i feel alone and cant really explain it to anyone. I sometimes cant controll my thoughts.

​

I have lost a lot of friends and family, to several reasons. My best friend 3 years ago to suicide on my birthday, and i cant process anything of it. I hate my birthday and it breaks my mothers heart but i feel like i have no controll over my life.

​

Im always reffered as to the ""happy guy"" of the group although people know that im mentally ill, yet i feel like im losing touch with reality, things i used to enjoy dont give me joy anymore.  


Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

​",3.6148269435569738,5.055431977635784,5.141617412140576,81.4283792598509,72.6741214057508,7.7725772097976575,30.29406283280085,8.344100000000001,2.334959637912674,1231,54,234,20,24,415,157,313,0.146,0.7070000000000001,0.147,0.6236,0,1,0,0,0,2,48.0,0,0,0,6,7,26,4,1,13,0,30,7,2,6,4,46,51,16,2,7,3,3,6,3,3,2,5,0,0,2,13,15,0,3,12,1,0,1,15,11,0,1,7,7,45,15,34,39,6,29,1,4,1,0,20,10,0,2,19,165,58,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307641968352099,0.05931024534190691,0.0,0.0,0.06929690724899429,0.0,0.0,0.055673135356941315,0.2174856181347953,0.24390302992390475,0.04549999546542985,0.0,0.05118473057777808,0.0,0.06635513804936595,0.046783897748242466,0.0,0.11011979803763168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076567304953095,0.0702162210257497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225130325772129,0.10684180038263044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762809304568221,0.0679106012886538,0.0,0.0,0.2300484139972363,0.0,0.0,0.06847050686532011,0.3136645106800208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924106905121934,0.0,0.06052246385097616,0.0,0.0,0.06013294120774484,0.0,0.12615053936985396,0.07529053357046743,0.16915444646023356,0.14339808856692904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507975437579874,0.0,0.0,0.06418461863322572,0.038025576497398884,0.11223915600414694,0.0,0.073766729501164,0.0,0.06624981942170995,0.0,0.07122521886044375,0.0,0.06605817705520982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928675712017481,0.04484727938676025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36136268095749374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402421352776774,0.06967478573395873,0.110313294024004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451874058558707,0.09806417016016217,0.0,0.05908132883741385,0.0,0.0,0.07485336712703505,0.0730384048574191,0.05688311535931185,0.0,0.0,0.044661865832047114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742791399163946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340563371766799,0.0,0.0,0.04961171889843448,0.1548116113966131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04533885256031138,0.05088684099360016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387162331215254,0.04638584887277199,0.058421820079706664,0.0,0.0,0.126500099048375,0.0,0.06407973662889653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04286322403903317,0.06879296226589998,0.0,0.0,0.07579415599404442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533173193424863,0.0,0.0,0.07558742913785464,0.0,0.05534730660730639,0.0,0.06695670437466758,0.06820467145532719,0.05669125658642539,0.0,0.06617410255957935,0.0,0.04735809852827416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318691236017927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075568491328219,0.05848087666993405,0.0,0.07651556815883813,0.0,0.08890191449513095,0.0,0.0,0.053117783109326806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778736124992796,0.0,0.0,0.03946429838424753,0.0,0.05366986974514102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505959251127624,0.0,0.24390302992390475,0.043086805579805085
mentalhealth,flowerlaboratory,2019/01/09,"DAE have childhood mental illness and can't relate to mainstream experience of mental disorders/has issues conceptualizing their disorders as such? Every time I look for advice from someone, or read about mental health online, the process for most people is this: they start showing symptoms that they recognize as such or that are recognized by their parents as unhealthy or worrying, they express their discomfort, their parents take them to a doctor (or they go by themselves) and they get diagnosed, or at least have someone else in their life notice that they are not well. This never happened to me.

I grew up with troubled, depressed parents and was emotionally neglected all my life, so no one ever questioned if I was ok despite having unusual developmental history, self injurious episodes as early as three years old, crying too much for no reason, not sleeping and actively avoiding other children. They distrust doctors and don't like admitting that there are problems to resolve, so I kept being told I was normal despite being a textbook case of childhood GAD with OCD traits (I constantly had obsessive thoughts about my parents dying when they were out of the house even for a few minutes only, even if I had never experienced an accident). I grew up thinking it was absolutely normal to live like this, that this was the standard human experience, and I didn't realize until middle school that it wasn't true.

Despite only getting worse and becoming essentially a shut-in, it was never a problem for them so they let me be, and I still believed everything I was experiencing was just me being a bit too sensitive. When I found out about anxiety disorders online, I just thought yeah I guess that's me and still didn't think it was a problem. I only decided (by myself) to see a psych at 22 after a severe burnout and a lot of self diagnosis, and when I was diagnosed with GAD (and purely obsessive OCD) I was disappointed because that's just so normal and I was expecting a more serious disorder that would explain why I am like this. I already knew I had anxiety, that's nothing weird to me. That's normal.

I struggle to take my diagnosis seriously because I deeply internalized that it's a normal disorder and it's so common that it's not even an illness. I don't know how to get rid of this thought. It's just such a normal disorder to experience to me that I doubt if I'm really mentally ill or am making it up. I end up literally researching ""is anxiety an inherently mild disorder"" so often to reassure myself and never get the answers I need - it's still such a normal thing to experience to me, so many people have it.

Did anyone else experience this? I really need to know I'm not alone. I sincerely can't relate to most posts about mental health because all those people seem completely different from me and are able to conceptualize their disorder as such.",9.795141242937852,8.52916186252354,10.004711111111114,61.164535593220386,59.37664783427496,13.166433145009416,42.332278719397365,12.125541829968116,5.38662931826742,2323,112,371,62,25,779,237,531,0.182,0.7809999999999999,0.037000000000000005,-0.9967,6,2,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,17,2,36,26,1,6,21,2,42,13,1,3,9,91,73,43,1,17,17,4,0,3,0,1,12,0,0,4,35,21,0,3,18,2,0,3,17,17,1,2,27,4,59,9,56,40,10,37,0,3,2,0,31,10,0,17,26,291,94,8,0.055454114501868296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054189118889423016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743373853803922,0.061194994306723226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272667374280294,0.0,0.0,0.03877480623209077,0.056819293571229536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014129404815707,0.06124471265880721,0.0,0.062477797279790866,0.0,0.0,0.060541530546305074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058142583996529225,0.05992619734142327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091374085569105,0.0,0.0,0.04776254756274919,0.11256951783891277,0.05755261577736288,0.0579377468478323,0.4448865367681922,0.11351927196938065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264959389951427,0.062378414894845476,0.049115885795444715,0.0,0.0,0.1098807588848226,0.05016142137491055,0.046722483184170834,0.0,0.0498385824123345,0.2712238239656488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060802574270917065,0.0,0.0,0.11588994417222233,0.0,0.031515851211981936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06108895907595754,0.0,0.049037890313976575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789026112837064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398660272322286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787968810869223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095226215968864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056705589209366886,0.07833776209133995,0.08127623775028261,0.0,0.048966999071624384,0.0,0.046567489705946166,0.0,0.0,0.04714510509158769,0.0,0.0,0.03701605203825325,0.05622176823745551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794235223547745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040765154791066134,0.08223704649320375,0.17107852696624068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38033280731938707,0.053209718470281366,0.06313487690777324,0.058189764783586985,0.0,0.037577143150229496,0.12652605881032114,0.0,0.0,0.24630092640929996,0.0,0.0,0.1153347020142426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053109712759711526,0.0,0.0,0.15918629500961273,0.0,0.0,0.062121299512397664,0.0,0.055469121172807584,0.0,0.07105065146730505,0.05701606557764871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056122524429768,0.04418974958958132,0.05048334313161635,0.1157014710368682,0.06264736500097004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05549416280016242,0.0,0.09397218252405933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03925070766518333,0.0,0.13285718242257588,0.0,0.0,0.05797268085646519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05763805796865711,0.08338918551140684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036841249597892936,0.0710655148675862,0.0,0.13207311788935408,0.03233574011621517,0.0,0.0,0.052988782840404106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04985990870860111,0.0,0.05003871300218901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056316345083422426,0.05651248025494573,0.039393011885854604,0.0,0.0,0.03571063160464163
mentalhealth,anchoritewindow,2019/01/09,"In desperate need of relief from my chronic nightmares!! A need a little insight or maybe someone to relate to here.

I’ve had chronic nightmares since I can remember. Actually, I’ve found out that some of my earliest memories are recalled nightmares and didn’t actually happen.

I am used to having one or three “mild/medium” nightmares (which I wake up from) the majority of nights with maybe three or four days a month with some sort of relief and three or four really rough nights. 

It’s generally pretty damn exhausting and I’ve been sick of it for years now. I generally wake 4-5 times a night on average with 4-5 hours of sleep a night. I can always recall dreams and they are incredibly vivid and physical. They can completely throw me off for the whole day.

I’m really getting run down after years of this shit.

As of last night, I’m really not sure how much longer I can handle these nightmares without losing it.

Last night, I had one of the worst I’ve ever had in my life- i haven’t even been able to verbalize it to my husband it was so bad.
It involved absolutely hideous violence and felt like it lasted days. I soaked completely through my pajamas, sheets, comforter and quilt and woke into a massive panic attack, nauseated and crying. 

Didn’t go back to sleep.

Have not been able to function today at all. It’s been one big panic attack all day.

I desperately need relief, advice, techniques!! Please, if there’s anything that has helped you- or if you have something similar - please share!

I’ve been diagnosed with a few disorders: schizoaffective - bipolar type, nightmare disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.

I attend regular appointments with a psychiatrist and a therapist.
Currently taking seroquel, Zoloft, prazosin for said nightmares, and ambien on a case by case basis.

tl;dr - I’m on the brink of losing it if I can’t control my chronic nightmares. I need advice/ techniques to get some relief ASAP!

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mentalhealth,XThrowaway011999,2019/01/09,"I keep wanting a relationship but then regretting it later and it's driving me insane. I've been through about 3 relationships in the past 2 years (I'm 20) and none of them have lasted more than 4 months. I always have a strong desire to be with someone but as soon as I am and as soon as we have sex a couple times I just find that they aren't at all very interesting and then I have to either pressure them to break up with me or break up with them with some kind of fabricated excuse. I don't want to do this anymore. I feel like I'm hurting people because of my own desires. And I now know it's not just lust but an extreme desire for companionship with a like-minded person. It seems like each time a relationship ends for me this urge to be with someone gets stronger but I only end up feeling more unfulfilled and unhappy when I'm in the relationship.

How can I stop making such impulsive decisions and end up regretting it later?",4.37063967611336,5.260954978947371,5.574210526315792,81.12985829959517,70.26315789473685,8.582995951417004,28.299595141700404,8.841846274778883,2.068692307692308,746,26,151,13,13,249,112,190,0.145,0.7140000000000001,0.141,-0.1849,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,4,1,9,9,0,1,8,0,12,2,0,2,1,43,24,20,0,7,9,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,15,0,2,6,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,2,19,5,30,21,8,28,0,3,0,2,12,7,0,3,20,108,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693643411680853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937302397419193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566887269538552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554993790723408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37341707012884856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211750538023982,0.1003982802397966,0.0,0.0,0.12844650560770435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342377235208201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044569628058896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491402511262115,0.0,0.1463456465913947,0.07723439774043997,0.11455483690685456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059750057120425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380824877059424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190035604235168,0.0,0.11217375002598727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688325151995816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341566237196647,0.09742932072868876,0.1227098001744371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6035282744814299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793784724443058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381498131303317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174936091006949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16389425592272525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595614863829705,0.16578244779599108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049997579053944
mentalhealth,jovannaflor,2019/01/09,"I'm done No matter how much I try I can never do any of it. People keep telling me that I'm smart or that I should try again but no matter what I do, it's always the same. I rest, I try again and I always fail. I am inept, useless, I won't get the chance to do what I love in life because I hate everything and I can't do anything. It makes me so sad seeing that everyone has their hopes on me and thinks that I am capable of things. In a few months I'm sure they'll all know they relied on a big failure. A disappointment. An idiot. A zero. So I'm done trying. I am giving up. I just wanna disappear. I want to somewhere where no one knows me so I can escape from my endless misery and shame. I don't know what to do. I've thought of therapy but I'm aftaid if people find out they'll either say I'm insane or overreacting over nothing. I hate people......",-0.18184491978609785,1.724310213903749,2.6329705882352954,92.83886764705885,85.89839572192514,5.237326203208557,17.90614973262032,6.508806274219699,-0.13558374331550782,658,16,152,7,20,231,105,187,0.289,0.585,0.126,-0.9911,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,4,1,8,12,3,1,7,0,19,2,0,2,3,31,40,13,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,11,5,0,1,6,0,0,1,7,8,0,2,3,2,28,4,15,33,6,14,0,4,1,1,8,9,0,4,4,107,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25295256333584365,0.0,0.0,0.10336529828039187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508315280365906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265786625895987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110978053138833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524263462837286,0.13660791261261487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892536184464674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941379248701126,0.14581237167545066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001373123370352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097042230722882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510469635696565,0.0,0.0,0.2506058830214001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736218447691104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371860485862984,0.0,0.10146126469388164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132505075246285,0.0,0.11173758228643868,0.0,0.11723186801514593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584822077786608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299921946471388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31613324720215724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087660137731306,0.0,0.0,0.12112442124382833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325832031483055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285481017859346,0.0,0.1738253915177009,0.0,0.10098212994844187,0.09739554352170986,0.0,0.12067112180836033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4127924331887373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965361275724681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ReqZ22,2019/01/09,"Question about Tourette I was wondering, if you have Tourette(or any other mental disorder), are you more susceptible to other mental pathologies?

Like, if you have Tourette, the chances you have lets say, mythomania, are increased?

​

​",9.101052631578943,13.269193052631586,5.815000000000001,70.2925,65.84210526315789,8.010526315789475,43.71052631578947,8.841846274778883,5.1220842105263165,208,13,24,4,4,57,27,38,0.0,0.8340000000000001,0.166,0.6966,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,0,4,8,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,2,6,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,4,1,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194240456346287,0.4703703924450964,0.1316210630716734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182578627049407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19791862892892007,0.0,0.09455905942912884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901070155942313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168209976865137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539192266500808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098973979913408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4703703924450964,0.0
mentalhealth,dudewhowrites,2019/01/09,"Mental Health and Physical Fitness Hi everyone. After a relatively un-eventual period in my life I've started to get worse. I've got a sick note until the 28th and have been referred to some kind of psychological team. I'm finally ready to let them know everything instead of thinking that everything they do will me me worse. Whilst I've been okay enough to stay away from the various mental health services, it's still been pretty difficult to get through most days but due to my past experiences I've able to use that to keep myself somewhat sane.

Anyway, I'm getting a little too old to keep changing jobs every few months and completely messing up my life every few years. This time I may lose my flat and job which is a bit of a pain but shit happens. If this happens then I plan to get a gym and swimming membership to some local club and hit it pretty hard for 6 months, stay on meds, do my appointments and stuff and re-evaluating if I can get back into work and my own accommodation from there. 

Does anyone have any experience with using physical fitness to get better? Can anyone recommend a pretty intensive plan that I can have a look at? 

I don't take recreational drugs much anymore. Maybe once or twice a year. I pretty much stopped drinking all of last year only really starting again recently when my sleep levels dropped to a hour or two per night. Obviously I plan on dropping these again once I'm back on meds but I thought after dropping them the first time that would be half the battle. I do smoke tobacco but as far as I'm aware it doesn't have any negative effects on your mental health so I will continue the fight against that one.

I'm hoping that if I chuck myself head first into fitness then I can stop the cycle of getting a job and place and then messing up a little down the line. Can someone please share their stories and recommendations.

Thanks",6.04089112468559,6.767206245179063,6.363564498742367,77.54953647143374,66.43801652892563,9.508635764762246,31.48508803449515,9.54385415503706,2.8240174631692407,1509,57,280,29,23,486,203,363,0.091,0.778,0.131,0.9465,3,0,4,0,1,0,23.0,0,1,4,10,11,14,3,0,19,1,24,12,3,3,2,44,53,29,0,5,9,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,0,0,14,15,1,4,5,5,0,1,3,8,0,6,5,2,28,6,41,41,13,64,0,1,1,0,9,21,1,11,37,180,42,6,0.07731832226439926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515822099607268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667899963332682,0.10812553733560837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264310893093344,0.11890603449222767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838177283604847,0.08441158264282594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179253291206348,0.0,0.08106678985158247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049863921475328414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766178485255492,0.0,0.0,0.07574252042639988,0.08966470688399868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798904953894641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028804243930311,0.07388097032754176,0.13897744507408466,0.1512643107948444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469844275091447,0.0,0.13153385084002955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28276942530957144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061838525477998486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674467406145546,0.0,0.06926202988269152,0.0,0.07935090497978697,0.24655728299792204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679453983574283,0.07614297284045099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301795133037232,0.13744815478182765,0.0,0.08051513457438128,0.042492127867700236,0.06302475218449059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906322299195233,0.10922443517957536,0.0,0.15498654232200856,0.0,0.0,0.06492791758503576,0.08649942535297074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767664700344094,0.0,0.17176645173539204,0.0,0.2337560501371145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342949434324264,0.0,0.11367572644902955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255800775834645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113257287473935,0.16468297962905296,0.052392896180264895,0.058804068179113836,0.08227214623636674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380908735189247,0.0,0.0,0.0807811904002715,0.08487229958989832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31464212072600856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049532097091366634,0.0,0.07634251548419478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793661467102594,0.0,0.0,0.07737416063205621,0.0,0.06551156354718618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945261290792503,0.16482208800745055,0.061746512036497725,0.12928315899666068,0.0,0.0,0.08851098074620586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813375595889739,0.0,0.0,0.07118432309685267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049542458930007485,0.0,0.06138211133752774,0.0901698709796964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552876606068644,0.0,0.0,0.13355641122463133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056288659465256435,0.0,0.1575879517529825,0.054924717765589805,0.0,0.0,0.14937139367250554
mentalhealth,misstheineffable,2019/01/09,Expressing emotions? I was numb for a long time. I've been to therapy and now I'm starting to feel again. It's weird. It's like I'm reintroducing myself to emotions. Whenever someone asks me about what I'm feeling I get overwhelmed and I tend to shutdown. It might look like I don't want to talk but I'm really trying to figure out what I'm feeling or what's happening in my head.. My thoughts. I want to be better at expressing it and not just explode from anger or sadness. Is there a way that I could be better at expressing them? ,0.9128601398601396,3.313217209090908,2.942727272727275,89.03562937062941,86.0,6.293706293706293,24.825174825174827,7.61054688173877,1.4831328671328672,423,18,87,8,13,142,68,110,0.132,0.7240000000000001,0.14400000000000002,-0.1164,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,5,9,1,1,2,0,8,2,1,0,0,18,25,6,0,3,5,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,4,11,4,14,18,0,10,0,2,1,0,6,4,0,3,7,54,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18804750582898053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35580053937627704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060140260467354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.452531929872436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051214928356508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509224260000842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17787572173856556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20643728307172826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19654284142951495,0.0,0.0,0.17801086080062672,0.16891480828320926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133876919835717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886143580834344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043320667744066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237455791820686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167624252500626,0.0,0.0,0.2300318325485777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969012951967435,0.11729181402983647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656721702094093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372862175897925,0.1596630055161234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway45565w2,2019/01/09,"I don't feel like I'm playing with a full deck Pretty much the title. I know that everyone has their moments where they make stupid decisions but it's not an exaggeration when I say that almost every day I do/say something dumb. I regularly forget things throughout the day. I'll tell myself ""okay remember you have to do xyz"" 10 minutes before I do it and a minute before.. and I still forget to do it. My girlfriend said it's sort of scary how much I forget things so I know it's not just me over exaggerating. On top of all of that what's more concerning is that I have a serious problem understanding things that are explained to me. If someone tries to explain a situation to me or I'm trying to learn something new through having it explained for some reason my brain just can't keep up and I get lost. All the words being said begin to have no meaning and it must show on my face because people then ask me if I'm  understanding. I don't really know what's wrong with me but it just feels like I'm constantly at a mental disadvantage. Sorry if this is just a jumble of text. ",2.4818181818181806,4.4943153636363675,4.254545454545454,84.1518181818182,77.18181818181819,6.945454545454545,23.72727272727273,7.908726449838941,1.2748818181818178,860,28,173,14,20,290,125,220,0.204,0.759,0.036000000000000004,-0.9883,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,2,2,9,10,2,0,10,1,16,2,2,3,3,47,39,14,0,5,12,0,2,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,19,6,0,1,15,2,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,5,24,4,20,34,7,17,0,1,0,0,12,8,1,7,11,119,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470056820110474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575637893083147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200105956908095,0.0,0.22893019834812303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501668235823318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453664094919588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350624953099966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333740374573258,0.1285379257584596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603290971193024,0.19219968932824052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028021895231522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956597643925172,0.0,0.0,0.22178309054265327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143761696808035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468425297322654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979195772612293,0.0,0.0,0.14652977910978213,0.0,0.0,0.1355627287374445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19777274204799272,0.0,0.0,0.12991853702924372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325799770070554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685339193253407,0.0,0.1287157713569768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861758175395466,0.13830713617884985,0.0,0.0,0.15238292274885146,0.0,0.2559152669412918,0.21394857857717228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120411760374167,0.0,0.0,0.11397685295978988,0.20711739849958846,0.0,0.150582136343203,0.0,0.0,0.10742642584151964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757485514555893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681037883013239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826580854396824,0.0,0.0,0.28007642625263524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707455871637273,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dievaite,2019/01/09,"Getting help. Good day,

Not a frequent poster and a native english speaker here
Haven’t posted in a long time, god knows how it works. Just looking for anyone’s two cents on this topic.

To start off, I’ve been to 4 specialists. Two psychologists, two psychiatrists. First psychologist experience wasn’t so good, after that I’ve just been sceptical about it. 2 years went by and after things have gone a lot more severe and things were even more rough than ever before, I’ve decided to finally give it another shot. Here I am, with my second psychologist at the current moment. First psychiatrist was a private one, in between of the two psychologists. Got diagnosed after two visits, at least got that out of it. Dropped her after that, it was too expensive to watch her sit and not say a word for 45 minutes.  It was all about Social anxiety disorder at this point.

Back to my third and current specialist (psychologist). I’m just lost whether I’m expecting too much or just blind, oblivious to the “help”.  She denies everything I’ve been telling her, presumes her own things, literally just stomps on me emotionally. Haven’t been to fourth psychiatrist much, as she only gave me a paper document of  a trial of homeschooling, as I’ve not been able to go to school.  

Is it supposed to be like that? Is it normal? Am I just too dumb for help? 


Tl;dr: Specialist does not believe me, best offered remedy so far was a hot bath, been proving myself over and over just to deny her beliefs. ",4.8276928126025584,6.769683054151628,5.635978011158517,77.08122005251067,70.44404332129966,9.079684936002627,29.19740728585495,9.573946990214177,2.8609581227436833,1174,46,210,28,22,383,158,277,0.095,0.836,0.069,-0.7622,2,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,5,20,7,2,0,12,0,20,2,0,1,3,33,34,13,0,2,13,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,17,8,0,0,5,1,2,4,7,3,0,10,18,7,15,4,41,15,9,38,1,1,3,0,17,13,1,2,19,154,32,3,0.11560970499246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122685588046685,0.08844110788155403,0.0,0.0,0.08083699379025855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889672697799401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837534389146303,0.13025254802061606,0.12132525283760018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455869556787127,0.0,0.0,0.11734141700217493,0.0,0.0,0.1324987378764811,0.0,0.10117083191895553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300453574756368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635911980642412,0.1045755969462015,0.0,0.0,0.10390254829041183,0.11308847524574267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266447808615039,0.0,0.19667511201468266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060401299243953724,0.11090336349923084,0.06570365957391207,0.1939358709647474,0.1849272844600225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324722449253635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353607040887181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05648106218755355,0.0,0.0,0.10231095089307367,0.09708303514543497,0.0,0.12620164980014692,0.09828723694241563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997287078520906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327296462804673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834012810557292,0.08792639021959353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092885395768968,0.0,0.1107221399086208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193747764379023,0.0,0.11700319355994787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060605964726205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784953516636038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818291442335492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010479778674262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304178528045467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741294868972332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.564669415152391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717135477208152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841652421394519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444885960207596
mentalhealth,SY-1212000,2019/01/09,"I feel the need to harm myself for every stupid mistake that I make Every time I make a mistake, it’s one that I know I shouldn’t have made. It’s a mistake that no person in the right mind should ever make. Clearly, that’s not me. Every time I make a mistake, I feel like a complete moron, and I feel humiliated too. Not only that, but I also feel angry at myself for being so foolish. So whenever that happens, I feel like the only solution is to berate myself, or even physically hurt myself, kind of like self imposed punishment for incompetence. 

I can’t exactly pinpoint why I feel this way. Maybe it’s because I’m a perfectionist? Or maybe I’m just a toxic piece of shit.",3.17622994652406,4.806700794117654,5.283288770053474,79.20502673796794,74.14705882352942,7.298395721925132,26.334224598930483,8.00094639256281,1.7380088235294124,532,19,100,8,11,185,75,136,0.299,0.5920000000000001,0.11,-0.9779,0,0,0,0,0,2,17.0,0,0,0,0,7,14,4,0,9,0,6,1,1,5,3,30,22,7,0,7,6,0,6,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,10,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,10,0,1,1,6,17,4,9,18,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,2,6,67,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389066884271044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681596348291881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932131220361913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406495764269568,0.12882415515188372,0.3599769060257995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320612996010275,0.20348519028698556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593871180230368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524601370780198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830518846137467,0.07826855242628203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20873297396913065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347582259684218,0.3802572973557125,0.0,0.2861536488460004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438003762719005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560025759130563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650531397762534,0.21662879804398616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243528623146458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162317474662405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857178931147533,0.0,0.14618880546544233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608877051342216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304383218041547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850901650523802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snowpuffs,2019/01/09,"I'm way behind my peers I'm supposed to be 20 but have the knowledge and skills of an 11 year old, and maybe even less considering kids these days. Only good at 1 thing that's gonna help me with important career stiff in life.",4.232499999999998,4.39943225,4.908333333333335,88.37000000000002,70.25,8.066666666666668,24.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,0.8941583333333329,180,4,41,2,3,58,45,48,0.0,0.8059999999999999,0.194,0.8625,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,20,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495489575300412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555750016878777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245529851234968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25936257751444103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27331227798997604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887405103854204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4060360353454924,0.0,0.0,0.29429081144137353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570705514884891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071407070639053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24918133507427315
mentalhealth,mongolmark23,2019/01/09,"Panic Attack or Heart Attack? About 3 years ago I experienced what I think was a panic attack. I was in college so Ive had my fair share of experience with marijuana and adderall. I was also frequently going to the gym at the time, so I was also taking creatine, and pre-workout which is basically junk loaded with stimulants and caffeine. 

​

I went to the gym one day and took pre-workout. Mid-day the following day, I took an adderall (don't remember the dosage since Im not really prescribed for it), and smoked some weed at night. All I remember was bending down to get something in my closet and then felt EXTREMELY dizzy and disoriented when I stood up. Everything I heard sounded like it was echoing, my skin felt itchy, I was shivering but sweating, felt like i couldnt breathe right, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest and an overwhelming sense of fear. I tried to sleep it off but just could not help it, so I stood up but immediately vomited. I felt better afterwards, but had brain fog that lasted about 5 days after the incident (couldn't think straight, felt dumb, zero concentration. Everything felt dreamy). The paramedics that night took my vitals and didn't see anything wrong, they just said gym supplements tend to have a lot of junk in them and I just needed to get it out of my system.

​

I just dismissed it as a panic attack. But I randomly thought about the brain fog three years later today... Could I have had a mild heart attack that caused my brain to be oxygen deprived, hence the brain fog? Can heart attacks go away? If so, can paramedics and doctors see signs of previous heart attacks through taking someone's vital signs?

​

​",6.200739903556361,7.333962199367093,6.074141048824598,78.31546413502113,66.24683544303798,9.183604581072936,31.81977094635323,9.362217197678863,2.84292393007836,1349,53,242,25,21,423,167,316,0.18,0.754,0.066,-0.9905,0,0,2,0,0,0,57.0,0,0,2,1,14,22,8,5,16,0,23,16,13,2,1,53,52,28,0,6,13,0,9,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,11,15,0,0,12,3,0,7,6,16,0,3,27,15,30,6,33,20,3,40,0,2,2,0,6,15,1,5,19,151,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513809805826914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270648257886244,0.0,0.25121290614530384,0.28172708379665645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047698868653504166,0.0,0.0,0.4615914629658418,0.05445844156822524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05126384092211987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588249123121968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595442902400508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925579794727456,0.0,0.0,0.14952616945998598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059327908027168065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418737831091636,0.056699243410761366,0.0,0.06522484304598365,0.0,0.0,0.3895770993220333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056687846780559,0.0,0.0658837742584081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747472248392686,0.03885158758110067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261032570865885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724783719615033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05663589479142804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927833680186607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04297906290388055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878928735199356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03927744169011,0.0,0.06167705284702892,0.2040223803668877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03713278320406802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132227104984925,0.049500353476743655,0.05513638510932183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237851349509747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047947852343226266,0.0,0.05800517444369741,0.0,0.04911212788083615,0.04462299097276569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716239705652143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428110235070423,0.0,0.046016396776014164,0.03379887454039825,0.0,0.05494244422945711,0.0,0.1931981239077644,0.03935328541553598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373257281680495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337378465998099,0.28172708379665645,0.07465294766878756
mentalhealth,mybrainismean,2019/01/09,"Experiences with Lexapro? Hello! Just got prescribed Lexapro for depression and anxiety, what are your experiences with it? ",7.510000000000002,10.943400555555556,5.831666666666668,61.26750000000001,99.0,10.68888888888889,43.38888888888889,8.841846274778883,7.0412888888888885,102,7,12,4,4,30,15,18,0.274,0.726,0.0,-0.7229,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178078739156916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578149483630427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8127534523957002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322626124378293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HxllxwSxul,2019/01/09,"Am I (20 M) a bad son for not being mentally and physically healthy for college? Since HS I've been very depressed/recluse and an addict due to a bad relationship and bad choices, also some bad memories from childhood. I can work jobs fine. Due to my lack of health mentally and physically I had to withdrawal from college a few months back, I feel like a totally different and negative person from two years ago. I was so addicted and depressed that I told my parents I'd get help but kept doing the same things.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. Again I've applied for college and I'm working but then as soon as I realize college is soon I have a panic attack at night and had to go to the hospital for passing out.  So I have to withdrawal again from college, this time I'm actually taking steps to get better but my parents don't believe me. Keep in mind I'm currently making an income, but my parents are flipping their shit about me not going even after showing them my appointments for the doctor and stopping all drug use. They think I'll do the same thing again, but I haven't lost any money from withdrawing from college. I really want to go but I'm so mentally/physically messed up that I literally feel nothing and have 0 order, so  I feel that I need to make a recovery before going. I know I did mess up with college but I have to not feel this way and be capable of focusing/learning like I did before in HS so I can get good grades and be able to maintain a job while going.

TL;DR: My parents are shaming me for not going to college and saying that I'll never go, but I'm only 20 and its only a 2-year degree. Am I a bad son for getting help and not going to college so I can get good grades and have a clear mind? Or should I go, feel like shit and maybe get ok grades and possibly drop out?",3.6416096477949367,4.836937863760216,5.240811383590678,81.69846402260572,72.26975476839237,8.270824502977092,29.12392774245636,8.735056554316923,2.261387203552326,1424,57,283,26,27,483,174,367,0.134,0.747,0.119,-0.8715,9,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,3,4,15,22,3,2,16,1,27,7,2,3,4,62,64,38,0,4,14,6,5,3,0,1,5,1,0,1,9,21,0,3,8,1,1,12,9,14,0,2,9,6,34,8,41,51,7,45,0,2,0,0,15,8,2,2,27,186,43,17,0.07885834993327917,0.0,0.07695437408114482,0.1719344827138041,0.0,0.0,0.1398063383505692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306299395090624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362638212267365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971275741013338,0.0,0.060637203463247615,0.3292171413940543,0.0,0.0,0.1342052952026064,0.08884635604061865,0.0,0.06974380216015168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792058124526125,0.0,0.0,0.08239019153607027,0.0,0.08071486267110901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145065005347358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05208519640011973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993657557728315,0.11267284189795597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472013984906403,0.0,0.4033531580262292,0.1322852850299268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382273839638624,0.0,0.0,0.10571417939520404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565094885315402,0.0700929247430114,0.0,0.0,0.04333848679931368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557861946485948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608320437065559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527712185117308,0.0,0.07922381179061838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894133810179142,0.0,0.1592489068880085,0.0,0.06294398256420028,0.0,0.0,0.05847246726500269,0.06082042093161194,0.0,0.0,0.07400321940125487,0.0,0.07566671358244026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995065723520315,0.0,0.09252328266603227,0.35025146137751506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885606945338714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890094086496797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05051867825071329,0.0,0.0,0.08466435591473097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271132500934834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189392596314472,0.06523244196451157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592911158738816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929166510708691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477996732495087,0.05052924647663391,0.0,0.0,0.04598293800814652,0.0,0.0,0.07535253276159237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406629863681942,0.0,0.0,0.06810829505695523,0.0,0.06506639740946422,0.04651269794004313,0.0625940876229834,0.0632554116541353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481963589968405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156438376894006
mentalhealth,piinkmoth,2019/01/09,"Possible New Mental Illness?? I think something might be wrong with me, but I don’t know what. Sorry for the long post ahead.

A few weeks ago my mom said that I have been acting different lately, and that I haven’t been myself. She couldn’t really give me any concrete examples of why. I didn’t think that I was acting differently, but took her word for it, and told her that I would try to be more self-aware of what I was doing and how I was acting. I assumed that my anti-depressants might be not working and I hadn’t realized it yet. 

This weekend we went to the casino one day with a family friend. I was having some period cramps, but other than that felt fine and assumed that we were having a good day. When we got home that night she wouldn’t talk to me and I assumed that something was wrong, but didn’t want to push it. The next morning when I got up, she told me that I had completely ruined her day. She said that I was acting like a spoiled brat, and that she gambled away $200 just because she was pissed off. I asked her what it was I did that made her angry, and she said that I was just acting “like a spoiled brat” and I rolled my eyes at her. I truly and genuinely do not remember doing this, and I think she mistook me shaking my head or looking away or something for eye-rolling. I was genuinely shocked by this, and actually started crying because I felt so bad. I apologized genuinely and profusely, and couldn’t stop crying for the rest of the day. I felt angry that she called me a spoiled brat, because I don’t think that was deserved and I really and truly don’t know what I did wrong. I didn’t talk back to her, though, because I was raised better than that and know that it wouldn’t do any good. She accepted my apology and said it was “over and done”, but I’m still upset about it. I make the money for the two of us and work my ass off, so the spoiled brat thing really dug deep into me (I didn’t bring this up, though, because I’m not an asshole).

I will be the first to admit when I have done something wrong, and it’s totally possible that I was acting badly that day, but I really truly don’t think I was. This scares me that I am not acting like myself. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to maybe change my anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication because I think that maybe it stopped working and that’s why I’ve been acting “different”. But I feel like I’m going crazy and need a mood stabilizer or something to just shut my emotions off. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, and I’m genuinely afraid for my mental health that I’m bipolar or borderline or something and don’t realize it. I feel like I have acting the same as I always have, but apparently not. Is there any weird personality disorder or mental illness that can cause this?? Sorry again for the long post.
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mentalhealth,hornylikeastegosaur,2019/01/09,"I'm done worry about screwing over other people All my life i've been too worried about what others think or screwing over my coworkers if I wanna call out.

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I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack right now. I work as a receptionist. I haven't been able to sleep well in a few days, and I'm working on a total of 6 hours since monday. I wanted to call out SO bad this morning especially because I've been in a funk since yesterday. Slipping between anxiety and feeling completely numb. But i didn't call out because I feel bad about leaving the place in a frenzy (i'm unfortunately the best worker we have up here). I'm the first shift, full time person. 90% of the work/busy time of a whole 24 hour work period (position is 24/7) is during my shift. I'm running on fumes, and my patience is wearing thin. 

​

The 2nd shift person calls out today. I WANTED TO. This makes me feel SO shitty right now. I'm fuckin miserable. Nobody else cares if they screw their coworkers over. The part time fill-in, who, even though she complains about not getting enough hours, said she couldn't come in to fill in. They have one more employee to try before they ask me to do a double. ( i just had back surgery a few months ago and physically cannot sit here for a whole 16 hours). Like wtf. Why do i always have to be the dependable one? I'm fighting back tears bc I'm so fuckin aggravated. Every phone call is pissing me off. I feel bad that I have an attitude towards my fellow employees and visitors who've done nothing wrong, but nothing can shake the way I feel. 

​

UPDATE: don't have to do a double. But i'm still pissed about my missed opportunity to grab some peace of mind and sleep today. Thankfully I'm transferring departments in a few weeks and if I need to call out, it won't be that big of an issue. They're interviewing potential receptionists as I type. Can't fuckin wait.

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Thanks for reading my vent, if you did.

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TL;DR: Wanted to call out of work, didn't cause i don't like screwing people over. 2nd shift person called out - screwing people over. Fill-in person said she couldn't come in - screwing people over. Now I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack because I've been barely sleeping and getting very agitated. And I'm taking it out on employees, callers, and visitors.

​

DOES ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCE THIS WAY OF THINKING? IF SO HOW DO YOU COMBAT IT?",3.051547388781433,5.324036617021278,4.1167601547388815,84.57295454545456,76.44680851063829,6.911025145067699,24.93713733075436,7.924219607001951,1.5036808510638298,1910,67,364,31,44,619,215,470,0.157,0.778,0.065,-0.9864,3,0,0,0,2,0,88.0,1,2,4,8,23,32,15,2,25,0,34,17,6,4,2,55,72,27,0,12,11,0,7,2,1,1,2,2,0,4,12,21,0,1,7,1,0,6,11,24,1,3,12,9,35,8,60,55,15,70,0,2,0,9,32,37,11,8,26,222,47,9,0.05093752773510245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045153044942612505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042384103595874585,0.3311447401170552,0.3713680295303716,0.0,0.0,0.11690120788562665,0.0,0.0,0.03561670374889503,0.05219151668314753,0.0,0.0,0.047619712371517485,0.11589758275788367,0.0,0.07833562928469932,0.12759212399056696,0.0931531323668375,0.0,0.04334408437638045,0.0,0.05345579276226535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4161032877964692,0.0,0.05193420433420192,0.05232687237173286,0.0,0.08775633965369357,0.053407028703234466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03285049143261109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044575773782930116,0.1042535520098004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510353652375945,0.0,0.0,0.052632082609811656,0.0,0.03364375666576965,0.0,0.04291706403438066,0.0,0.0,0.049826676270181273,0.0,0.0,0.12877772262164275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043327435070030035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322551174532926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200652816941915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05316554497027015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053935487073084064,0.0,0.0,0.035978682240963816,0.0497710061949244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034001195299566016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051432382355552086,0.0,0.04065784866579737,0.0,0.0,0.03776953138850812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775186330910164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903317413376937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05516037871127465,0.0,0.1412546723945934,0.17790673786502353,0.0532188749830524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095131215351842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700074073570882,0.09690650690512737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427209863272872,0.0,0.15292294262534814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040678775447939776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038298681603253996,0.0,0.0,0.09379286373160152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527742201085998,0.0500458623757838,0.0,0.0891062461532561,0.0,0.09656564064818048,0.0,0.0,0.03458323770499898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04202879499091698,0.09013282081199904,0.08086367713873788,0.04085901224479065,0.0,0.04579895478501381,0.0,0.04596319595531476,0.1137398612645111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541563427090965,0.1034590639628655,0.0,0.0,0.055692190271267886,0.3713680295303716,0.0
mentalhealth,Sad_Broccoli,2019/01/09,"Coping with death, being tormented in my dreams. I've had two best friends my entire life, one of which I'm still best friends with and the other died on 9/2/2007. The three of us were inseparable, and while it seems that my buddy has moved on from Bill's death I don't think I have. I've seen therapists and I've tried talking, but I'm still to this day tormented over Bill's death by my own brain and my inability to let it go. I have dreams all the time about Bill, and most of them he's alive in the dream and doesn't realize he's dead, so I go through the motions with him and I generally wake up sobbing. It had been a while since I had any dreams about him, but two nights ago I had dreams about him and he was dead in the dream. It was me at his house going through his things with his mother, and I'd wake up from the dream and go back to sleep and it would just pick right back up.

Ever since then I've been stuck in this rut where I feel like I have this constant black cloud over my head and I can't seem to kick it. I want to cry almost every waking minute, and just can't seem to get my mind off those dreams.

Does anyone have any input as to what might be able to help me, should I go back to therapy if I feel that the first time there wasn't really any help? I feel like if I talk to my other friend about it, he just doesn't feel it the way I do, and I think a lot of that is because he's extremely hardened from his time in the military (combat) and I think he's just more used to this then I am.  I've lost friends, but never anything that I've completely dwelled on like this.",3.421517786561264,3.5481066840579736,4.0702569169960485,93.81186758893284,72.01449275362319,7.6640316205533585,22.92819499341239,7.348242739294969,0.4216376811594205,1246,25,310,12,22,396,156,345,0.078,0.723,0.199,0.9919,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,1,4,17,12,0,1,12,0,29,7,6,2,3,53,52,26,6,5,9,1,4,3,4,3,1,0,0,0,23,19,0,0,11,8,3,7,7,3,0,5,13,6,38,9,45,33,7,44,0,2,2,0,24,17,1,9,22,197,61,0,0.09913542928391214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787757657066167,0.0,0.09926981234474708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224647423534914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931779716885253,0.0,0.08158001141465726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286870775634174,0.0,0.0604320375496852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807303372704056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066792513576464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039416114737104,0.1071301805494393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889561402724156,0.0639341506186829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028869241309173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675408222822037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089673671397736,0.08352587484770115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20050340692924395,0.14164474097724442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432454550553814,0.0,0.0,0.30636714699474216,0.0,0.051794170136892206,0.0,0.2817047451945581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174155101733467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328967771276857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438897521611542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013726930736288,0.07002228548617723,0.14529768967249695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082180317828116,0.08428139686068263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516702422824667,0.10009852324258488,0.0,0.0,0.10536527241410387,0.0,0.0,0.07645935456911053,0.0,0.0,0.09303188476479793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717673252785443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350869450701987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466111494167798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27074751466121844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164011703081823,0.0,0.0992070237053386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833936376917349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936260575017835,0.0,0.0,0.11337000312448538,0.11510387426116653,0.06586117418067912,0.1905659405158216,0.0,0.0,0.1734199981243597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730644906329109,0.0,0.1936818189382242,0.0,0.1192477152050845,0.08562118119361264,0.0,0.0,0.05847264470205697,0.07868908939116112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042296462887128,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,traveloshity,2019/01/09,"Does this seem like a lot? I always knew there was something up with me from my early teens, but in the last year i was diagnosed with severe depression, bipolar, anxiety disorder and ADHD. Plus PTSD from a few events that happened in my life and that gave me the mental health bingo!  However, i feel like i've been given so many drugs and i don't know who else to talk to about it.

​

First i was given Paxil and Ambien. That was a terrible mix. 

Went to a psychiatrist and they gave me abilify, ativan and seroquel. I went back yesterday now they've up my abilify to 15mg a day and given me something called Lamotrigine. This seems like a lot of pills. I thought i was feeling better but christmas messed with me. Maybe it was my honesty that made them think that i need higher doses and more pills. I feel better now, not as many symptoms, but damn, that's a lot of pills. 

​

My wife is so supportive, but i'm living in a different country that my own and don't really have anyone to compare ""notes"" with. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated!",3.804953560371519,5.6214449808612486,4.787481001970168,82.63589642555591,72.87559808612441,7.979848015761329,26.16971573318323,8.671277953709913,1.9269401069518723,847,29,162,16,17,276,123,209,0.111,0.7509999999999999,0.138,0.7170000000000001,2,0,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,2,3,7,10,1,0,10,0,13,10,0,1,0,36,35,18,0,2,6,1,3,3,0,1,10,0,0,0,12,14,0,0,10,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,18,3,23,6,21,15,7,17,0,1,0,0,8,5,1,6,13,108,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371292449069503,0.1114998159291928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494256829830557,0.2472604069123084,0.2772944847725592,0.0775937334829942,0.0,0.08728823601462869,0.0,0.0,0.07978324516385715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773791589964426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20182909167826868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651159122488502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358678754213772,0.0,0.09827646897937142,0.11581181587293382,0.0,0.11921301252503635,0.13077155386714592,0.0,0.09985202205025737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323228807578939,0.0,0.0953181457590249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308122651666435,0.08151497564204555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705567923647487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090062092948256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128581055618046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270784753984722,0.09300891128650338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059409557214804,0.16723441410933626,0.0,0.10075475473650404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29101804831341377,0.0,0.10796671238716417,0.0,0.23136441182894366,0.11463147604337495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149886617363886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387859682317346,0.08460568961513816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337992401768067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309709700594559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207749584493214,0.0,0.1289035475980128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568363146419608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948236630827015,0.0,0.11859637111161453,0.0,0.09171141008380708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731123885112274,0.0,0.1811695611672808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154865047329574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105526836729232,0.0,0.2772944847725592,0.07347838334034873
mentalhealth,skinner1818,2019/01/09,"I have gone from feeling numb to struggling. And I consider this a step in the right direction. For the last year, I have been struggling with the resurgent effects of depression. I suffered badly for several years during school, a mixture of home pressure and bullying. But after leaving school I knew a few people who helped to drag me into the real world. They eventually drifted away, but I thought I had made enough changes to my life that I thought I was over the worst of it.

The scary thing is that I did not really know that it was happening, it was a slow creep that changed me so slowly I barely recognised it and the effect it was having on me. I lost interest in daily life as a whole. I stopped seeing people, stopped going to the gym, stopped taking supplements, stopped writing, stopped gaming, stopped reading. My life just became a cycle of work, home, eat, sleep repeat. I did not even care that I had undone nearly two years of weight loss within six months.

I have to thank my brother for helping me out this time. During my usual Christmas stay at my parents, he physically forced me to go out. He brought me along to meals with his friends, encouraged me to talk to them and drink with them. And for the first time in months, I felt something other than hollow. It felt like surfacing briefly from a deep pool, only to sink back down again without realising.

That surfacing, brief as it was, seems to have eased something. I started using a notebook, writing what emotions I had felt that day. Since Christmas day, it has only been in the last four days where I have definitively felt anything. Most of those have been negative, with one day having a positive emotion (Christmas day itself).

In the last four days, I have noticed my appearance again, even though it is overweight and pallid in clothes that show every flaw.  I feel shame about how I look and anxiety about how I am seen in public.

But they are emotions, and they are not blank pages.

This post has become a bit rambly, and I know that everyone experiences depression differently, with different triggers and different solutions. This is not a post about how to deal with depression, I am still a long way from that and have no right to tell anyone how to live their life as everyone suffers differently.

This is my story of my first steps. And I can add 'determination' to my notebook, the second positive emotion.

​",6.507875116495807,7.587132918918923,6.087791239515378,78.68554054054056,65.53153153153153,9.007020813917368,33.55358807082945,9.130062681391069,2.9636734389561967,1912,81,337,32,29,591,226,444,0.177,0.748,0.075,-0.9927,5,0,3,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,6,7,17,20,0,4,24,0,34,11,1,9,0,64,62,24,0,0,9,2,7,1,1,0,6,0,2,0,30,23,5,6,14,6,0,9,7,14,0,8,25,10,50,6,62,37,7,71,0,7,3,0,23,24,0,3,35,248,80,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373535911288344,0.08269180120688717,0.0,0.0,0.05206033193297623,0.0,0.0,0.0475842154173482,0.0,0.05600179168199376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393800075603534,0.052328529403177934,0.05682138317579425,0.0,0.0751591531595678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742962121839599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938453327938607,0.0,0.14398202687447562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633311951463694,0.07015961868851703,0.17584175702930252,0.0,0.0,0.2844034562340489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666599763635622,0.0,0.06963517260575015,0.0,0.30620170365080884,0.0,0.0703169045183369,0.0,0.08989668307991551,0.0,0.057337558087627714,0.13005504874936494,0.0,0.06656885808093159,0.0,0.0,0.0688192477033911,0.0,0.2613660740053169,0.0,0.0,0.11577163447740098,0.0,0.0,0.052577551923226815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735213654741094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601790121746982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912289358490558,0.0,0.13652534512924322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480025961756857,0.16641674807663492,0.0,0.07205826383090977,0.0,0.0,0.19227128689464487,0.033247241196357614,0.0,0.06009201485672067,0.06022473249662616,0.057147350997694586,0.0,0.0742878502594514,0.0,0.0,0.0643933609065711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863845475196543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747875167048264,0.0,0.0,0.04611445028832156,0.10351469288763056,0.0,0.0,0.07556476407387454,0.0,0.0,0.09435871448575316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035185772869465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807138106891178,0.07745917282606933,0.043596471955610734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162337204987776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774646744830266,0.05422940223409932,0.0619528634181703,0.0,0.07688047990987107,0.0,0.05629411586320905,0.0,0.0681021120075352,0.0,0.0,0.10478099440208534,0.0,0.0,0.04816823887253079,0.07253540592302593,0.054347185732726684,0.3413719555503987,0.0,0.1422874697391607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05116736036153282,0.05469839544247558,0.059481290939724124,0.06265402694028042,0.0,0.0,0.0452113660250754,0.0,0.06686169255935531,0.10805290519262646,0.07936446228303455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647785829323442,0.0,0.0,0.05877591176592362,0.07495072646410134,0.0,0.0,0.054017275988488586,0.0,0.0828701777580863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597870507763795,0.0,0.06560062975546584,0.0,0.049543369005139525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269180120688717,0.13147163470994894
mentalhealth,nimbus_rose,2019/01/09,"My Confessions Here are some things I really need to get off my chest:

I am not a happy person. I feel fleeting moments of happiness, but overall I am not happy. I feel more and more the need to convince myself that I like my job, because I can no longer tell if I’m being abused by it or just being overly sensitive due to past emotional trauma. Every time my mom tells me she wishes I lived closer to her, all I can think is “No way in hell” and then I immediately feel guilty. 

Every time I leave my therapist’s office I feel pretty good and hopeful, but that feeling never lasts long before something happens to chase it away. 

I have one friend whom I trust enough to share my vulnerabilities, but I don’t feel safe doing so with the rest of my friends. I love that friend like family, but I also feel like the only reason I have any other friends at all is because the two of us were treated as a package deal. They wanted her, and got stuck with me. Logically I guess that probably isn’t true, but my emotional state doesn’t always respond to logic. 

I have anxiety and constantly worry that nothing I’m doing or could ever do is good enough for the people around me. As a child, I thought that if I did everything possible to fulfill someone else’s needs, they would do the same for me. Thinking like that made me feel that there was something I could do to fix the fact that my needs were being neglected. I don’t know how to stop thinking like that. 

My anxiety once got triggered by a game of Dungeons & Dragons in which my character had a heated confrontation with her daughter that caused me to subconsciously recall similar confrontations I’ve had with my own mother. 

If you’ve read this far, I salute you. ",7.531408622796298,6.487781023738876,7.7227788444754735,75.00195147495201,63.68842729970326,10.659382091115381,33.770116948856696,9.773937934552695,3.055844266015012,1363,47,259,23,17,445,186,337,0.14400000000000002,0.639,0.217,0.9851,1,0,2,0,1,0,29.0,1,1,2,0,8,27,3,0,12,0,32,2,1,5,6,66,62,21,0,13,13,3,8,5,4,1,0,0,0,2,18,10,0,3,17,2,0,0,9,5,0,2,11,8,52,22,32,45,10,23,2,1,0,1,26,9,1,8,17,186,70,2,0.0,0.1031726249598412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963586316097285,0.07245547422791172,0.09434845908280252,0.0,0.0592157012117069,0.0,0.13322813250820134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751745639599737,0.0,0.0,0.08181219866213378,0.0,0.0,0.10616329879726566,0.0,0.07409655795506652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945260205824772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409986680098616,0.0,0.13904863206383414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977310197899327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274209637763318,0.19590098465347408,0.0,0.17994871574765167,0.0,0.0,0.07876660424545998,0.14673313640085442,0.0,0.07825966229478867,0.0,0.08208893836809934,0.0,0.3522320934851543,0.06220819936389368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691035110418684,0.0,0.04549441143431995,0.0,0.0,0.1460729887598668,0.13928769860853546,0.0,0.09592570807233486,0.0,0.07700236543387136,0.2780869252162654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864876275488476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641100464767552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785552900818575,0.07097980279521936,0.0,0.092202523164229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270839481695344,0.0,0.0768910475669176,0.07706086710762151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859086365198417,0.08239485709151757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198414175085914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25826751786126884,0.06715955339328819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355323118609431,0.0,0.0,0.09273471939708657,0.059005982726589,0.06622637960863363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312534810762287,0.060368589913122266,0.07603273377713787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816682280854012,0.0,0.08858914516167486,0.0938842968929323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710108676161472,0.0,0.05578409056313655,0.08953019571399372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378050210771075,0.13407306185172135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280070775577087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221918525757286,0.0,0.0,0.1011037149447791,0.05785043659940786,0.16738728085189736,0.0,0.06912982609020206,0.1015512070793072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506208647454297,0.0,0.10474353781138207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051360578781305434,0.06911808411432674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013485329274033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843145078730535,0.0,0.061857373499423565,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rosebudpng,2019/01/09,"Coping in a hopeless family situation My family and I have a complicated and strained relationship. I moved back into my parents' house after college and now live with my mother (59), father (68), sister (33), and her daughter/my niece (10). 

My mother has a history of emotional abuse and alcoholism. We get along okay, but I have a lot of unresolved trauma from bearing the brunt of her abuse growing up. She also can be really immature, and can't see beyond her own frustrations. My sister is a pathological liar and a textbook r/raisedbynarcissists parent. I'm sure you can see how having these two around makes the house feel like a powder keg. 

My dad and I have taken it upon ourselves to be my niece's form of stability, and I always try and separate her from situations where my mom and sister verbally (borderline physically) have it out with one another. But today, apparently, is the last straw for my sister. My mother accused her of stealing money from her, so now my sister is threatening to pull my niece from school at the end of the year, saying she'll move out of the house.

This terrifies me. My sister is (supposedly) always at work, meaning I see her daughter/my niece more often than she does. Despite allegedly working 40-50 hours a week at a decent pay rate, she still doesn't have enough money to pay my dad for ""rent"" (only $100 a week, and he's often lenient and doesn't ask her for the money at all). All of my niece's toys, clothes, etc. are things that me, my dad, or my mother have bought her -- my sister didn't even spend a dime on my niece for Christmas. We don't know where her money goes. 

I know that if my sister moves that my niece will suffer even more than she does now, but I also know that if my sister does decide to leave with her, and there's nothing I can do about it.

For the mental health aspect of this post: This situation is causing me to spiral. I have pretty bad anxiety, and I've had one of the worst panic attacks of my life just now. I feel the intense need to self-harm, even though I haven't done so in months. The thought of eating or drinking anything makes me sick, and all my mind is doing is racing at the thought that my niece will be left with strangers, go unfed, or worse if my sister does end up leaving. I'm also feeling intensely guilty for making this situation about myself and my mental health (even as I write a whole post about it, ha). I'm not sure how to handle this.

**TL;DR:** My sister is threatening to take away my niece, one of the most important people in my life, and putting her in a potentially unfavorable living situation. How do I cope with this?",5.748462554235048,6.010906582846007,6.551200402439793,77.56821165817774,66.99220272904483,9.34839967301767,28.634157077281017,9.19923166143015,2.2617538703389304,2059,62,395,35,31,682,239,513,0.163,0.7879999999999999,0.049,-0.9969,5,0,2,0,2,1,85.0,2,1,0,2,30,16,3,2,26,2,38,9,0,7,5,71,63,37,0,4,11,22,3,1,0,3,7,1,1,0,17,30,3,0,10,3,10,7,7,11,0,4,7,7,69,5,63,50,13,47,0,2,3,0,47,22,0,11,17,282,86,7,0.0,0.17033860771858225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682079832592509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245382652722352,0.11962441206062245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753753304726762,0.05499010665190296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059153378070181575,0.06399088712495052,0.06720066736875836,0.08177700494064842,0.06753620943505252,0.05527339734450072,0.060019093327493125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384338479968514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516203141523721,0.07356100994440856,0.0,0.07041772850773217,0.0,0.07355399833492686,0.0,0.08085841808706727,0.127333560336843,0.07427409575246569,0.08016826709188105,0.1899115125343867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552931774452034,0.0,0.10903823401813804,0.05135305063940263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037555769787357834,0.0,0.04085262310631137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528160027596184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07079002862679566,0.24882912544446345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851463776457452,0.05859403494378153,0.0,0.1522269054417133,0.0781008177091657,0.0,0.10154582366135433,0.03511828049085446,0.0,0.1269475696064735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061112143113616124,0.0,0.0,0.14394688050444732,0.0,0.0,0.07830138740707616,0.0,0.0,0.14488180908098286,0.0,0.07258108557424939,0.084188207491947,0.05737612488717553,0.2291999603762992,0.0,0.05330014796626816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897343687905544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612883430017587,0.054670070191428805,0.0,0.08433891859008331,0.15963457324466934,0.0,0.0,0.04983444765381262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376876076780099,0.0731305986044881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226201744362612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04604993002296202,0.0,0.0,0.07717517164569647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057164047602273615,0.0,0.07274918017865208,0.171843734094585,0.0,0.07498938482292904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039961113012179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05740565664316093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354972815017571,0.0,0.05404688174096677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04775570472347133,0.0,0.07062443646151184,0.1141337475189394,0.0,0.0,0.06813644154149512,0.0,0.0,0.04880366843497337,0.0,0.07021900133563104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532001157237155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025452278851684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046629955796156,0.0,0.07325466290373994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04629013393990482
mentalhealth,idrinkbathewater-,2019/01/09,"Questions about psychopaths Hi, with the recent popularity of the Shane Dawson series on psychopaths/sociopaths came many people whom seem extremely willing to critique it with their own accolade of “ I myself am a psychopath/sociopath” which really led me to wonder... why in the world would anyone admit that they’re a psychopath/sociopath? 

I mean, it does not bring any benefit at all, and on the contrary, it seems to bring more cons than pros. People would be afraid of you, shy away from you, look at you through tinted lens. Your future actions will also be questioned and scrutinised for any hidden agenda and your current relationships might be strained especially considering the negative perception of sociopaths/psychopaths in the media (which you have to admit, are based on certain degree of truth, e.g.serial killers).

No doubt a psychopath/sociopath knows this, given their above average intelligence and calculating nature, so why would they choose to expose this more than undesirable side of themselves(especially given that they like to create better facades of themselves)? 


",13.350842696629208,12.400817089887646,10.72120786516854,57.826530898876406,52.258426966292134,12.720224719101124,44.721910112359545,11.45678717892309,5.458458426966294,894,40,117,17,8,266,120,178,0.116,0.772,0.112,-0.1734,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,6,4,1,3,9,0,3,9,0,12,0,0,1,3,28,25,6,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,11,0,0,5,3,3,0,0,3,1,14,6,29,13,4,18,0,0,1,0,17,10,0,7,4,87,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905699841124655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23649761187801546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158550763165532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337212268170562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378850857808246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19887987098751625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216927769851624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556349155718112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495217716119904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460208941119975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629365289884813,0.0,0.1894134121033033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446613350615276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24110205662943515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3895854277513796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139616629550717,0.0,0.17169197449096038,0.18668906229046506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31659953965266513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138111012181225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885725286131832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705720141020962,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hellak19,2019/01/09,"I found anxiety fun? I have recently when though my first serious break up. After the break up I had a little freak out. I shaved my head, started to self harm, started to get high every night and even a weak attempted at suicide.
Now I feel comfortably over my ex, sometimes I get upset and feel Lonley but I'm generally happy for her.
(She left me for someone else, then he was rude to her)

But now that I'm feeling happy, I'm back in shape and, I'm reading and hang out with my friends and feeling really fulfilled.
But I'm finding being happy boring, I want to feel the way I felt when I was going through a phase. I want stay awake for hours and wake up at 5am and go running for hours and cut my own hair everynight.
I want to constantly clean and feel crazy again. I found it very enjoyable even though I was ""unhappy"". 

I can't figure out how to make myself feel this again?


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mentalhealth,kingrobin,2019/01/09,"The doublespeak and gaslighting by government officials is starting to get to me. It's becoming increasingly difficult to separate truth from fiction, in a world where zealots can scream falsehoods  with no repercussions, in an attempt to drown out the voices of truth and reason. It's tiresome, and I can't put my finger on it, but it's hurting me in some way. ",10.408181818181816,8.868205878787881,9.79606060606061,64.01409090909091,58.39393939393939,13.64848484848485,46.24242424242424,12.45797560212912,5.914915151515151,292,16,48,8,3,94,51,66,0.184,0.767,0.049,-0.802,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,4,0,3,1,1,1,2,10,5,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,3,4,2,13,5,2,11,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,1,1,35,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571121123987524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21624192067590708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4430808344351736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41607661172706745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4255507625949631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929554750943506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285288630208725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sluttylunalovegood,2019/01/09,"How to stop comparing myself? It’s damaging me and my relationship It’s all in the title. I (22F) have crippling anxiety and horrible self esteem that causes me to hate my body and compare myself to everyone around me. It doesn’t even stop there. I compare my body to other women, but I go on to compare my personality, talents, level of success, etc. 

It’s hurting me. It’s hurting my partner (23M). I can’t afford therapy right now, and I really need to stop before I spiral. ",2.481903073286052,4.698120500000002,5.430141843971633,74.73388888888887,78.04255319148936,8.007565011820331,28.52955082742316,8.841846274778883,2.8084387706855805,373,17,65,9,9,135,59,94,0.211,0.698,0.09,-0.7992,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,1,0,1,0,3,2,2,2,1,13,6,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,7,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,17,2,10,6,2,10,0,3,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,49,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240377846316454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571242844620815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839942548570635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4135400292631126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912267069520346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076057829637428,0.1229499204727194,0.0,0.0,0.1778737251806632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579299158840606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18378398996857534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39855355700482825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802741847891434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253847251190426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925206973584188,0.0,0.0,0.19985478688847289,0.0,0.15897056712168994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19419441775248564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4668876909421302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21287805746124047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RobertMuldoon-,2019/01/09,"Euthanasia at 30 Hi guys I’m set on euthanasia by the time I’m 30  (this year) main acct no Bulli. I have 10 months and just wondering what to tell my family, I am 29 with spinal damage and Aspergers and see no point in suffering longer. Parents have given up, i don’t see a point wasting resources. do I tell them or just go missing? Thanks Australia btw

TLDR:suicide and the affects on parents mainly.",2.947660714285714,4.9092185875,4.502142857142862,83.14000000000003,75.625,7.571428571428572,27.67857142857143,8.418075326091056,2.1422321428571443,317,13,60,6,7,106,59,80,0.189,0.7759999999999999,0.035,-0.8934,2,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,5,1,1,1,0,10,14,5,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,2,6,1,8,13,2,12,0,3,2,0,7,7,0,2,3,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617721872267653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242960615423828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21655402469903096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456960674180158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4856958312976978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134970602617924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485618584492404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23922963964635974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823186031704661,0.2013557513999364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752963949695018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371780940636803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408399485640534
mentalhealth,wasteyrself01,2019/01/09,"Scared of relationships My first and only relationship I was abused from the age of 13 to 15 and after that I went through a time of sleeping around with multiple people to cope with realizing I had faced sexual violence from him and gain ""control"" over my body again I ended up putting myself in extremely risky situation at 15 with men much older than me and I craved the destruction at the time cause I was so disconnected from myself at that time but now it effects me.  Now I'm 17 and the simple thought of a romantic relationship makes me feel like throwing up, the thought of being romantic with someone terrifies me and I feel absolutely repulsed by it. I can't picture myself ever being with someone again even if I liked someone cause even though I do love being close to people whenever I get feelings I feel like the vulnerable 13 year old I was in the past, it makes me feel like I'm back In that situation and I can't stand it. I can't even have friends without having fears around them and eventually wanting to avoid them and I don't know what to do I've been in thearpy for years but I can't seem to get through this fear.

( This probably is confusing and stupid  but I just needed to get this out  )",3.415789998007572,5.512511029288703,4.5983622235505095,82.36534170153419,74.69037656903765,8.067025303845389,27.698944012751546,8.841846274778883,2.24496636780235,972,39,190,21,21,319,124,239,0.156,0.723,0.121,-0.8017,0,1,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,2,4,14,13,2,5,9,0,18,4,3,6,1,46,38,16,0,3,6,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,11,19,0,2,11,0,0,3,6,7,0,1,8,5,31,6,40,27,1,36,0,0,0,1,9,14,0,3,22,137,42,0,0.0,0.12718024811254586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111056525573106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253776970997358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923044862926427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22053532375490087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039084309752596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507130540510388,0.0,0.0,0.21269100652262735,0.09709509935236724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415744955564749,0.2713714336777808,0.23005097232374105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130327771892867,0.0,0.0,0.0829305528370137,0.0,0.16824202746231914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899121065483421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097634440451336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687846502431367,0.0,0.14330045488241527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890718895244332,0.07959118761830641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126351853294814,0.0,0.0,0.08163684304339554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246809559109517,0.1488319648035296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573058432275662,0.0,0.0,0.10790626306840377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457286968404845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074659815203966,0.0,0.0,0.09771822812532248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413091259108019,0.10741743560825924,0.0,0.2728462874986245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546092248004152,0.17043180664543936,0.1877723046811393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331186354086571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950517752890556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034718485946416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824677325920962
mentalhealth,dnzprs,2019/01/09,"I am a woman with a man and a little girl living inside me. I have these feelings and thoughts like I am not me, but someone else.

 I think to myself that we don't need to buy ski shoes just yet. We can do so when I am an adult and my feet stop growing. I am in fact 29 years old. 

I feel this man coming forward to talk to my husband, who loves my husband dearly, but like a brother. I am in fact in love with my husband and I am a woman.

I think I don't know where the driver's side mirror is located in my car because it's not my car but I am driving it for now. I've in fact owned this car for 2 years. 

I 'come to' myself. It is a  very confusing and worrying experience. Last night I came to myself for 10 minutes. It was like ""oh I'm home and we're watching a movie."" 

""oh I'm home and we're watching a movie.""

""oh I'm home and we're watching a movie.""

... For 10 minutes! And then it just stopped. 

I am worried about myself. The doctor didn't say anything yet. They're observing me at the moment. 

Has anyone else experienced these kind of feelings and thoughts? What might be wrong with me?  ",-0.49803951367780996,1.5661395957446798,1.8934270516717329,96.43625,89.2127659574468,4.378419452887537,19.882218844984802,5.773587663045528,-0.2009057750759884,835,27,195,6,28,283,115,235,0.08,0.8079999999999999,0.111,0.8449,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,2,0,0,0,9,9,0,1,13,0,20,5,2,0,3,41,37,16,0,1,7,4,3,3,0,1,1,1,3,6,12,18,0,2,8,1,1,9,5,2,0,0,5,8,31,7,21,30,1,31,0,0,3,2,17,10,0,2,17,122,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964738919218292,0.14136958813552558,0.11353997855742193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410702730472765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780429389005265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23770295215677897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122115671534902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23051738427684584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496401618756115,0.0,0.0,0.20928980146611845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151943435990895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367759148129253,0.07582632285494377,0.1124663660495723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20221983649899636,0.13828513875405593,0.12183263915997335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490519413004453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636749209473204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230519126088727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947826334152615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447793973511169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972162454217163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690402946464533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307031218655321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089742772749372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681498547452512,0.0,0.21907021490140247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384213020229962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802364481973364,0.0,0.0,0.1508517571698906,0.0,0.17770010729467878
mentalhealth,planchetflaw,2019/01/09,"If it all feels like it's closing in, give it another week. I have narcolepsy, broke it off with a potential new gf. Been struggling with my narcolepsy for 2 decades. I thought now that I was diagnosed that things would be easier. And it was. But then I was put on an antidepressant to help me sleep (I know, narcolepsy and sleep seem hand in hand... They aren't). I was originally put on armodafinil and it worked. It worked so amazingly. All these years of not being able to get up on weekends. But the antidepressant... Don't take it if you are clinically given it. Antidepressants are so close to impossible of getting off.

I worked in a job I loved. For 10 years. This secondary antidepressant drug literally ruined my life. When I noticed that I was becoming tired again earlier, I expected my narco doctor to reduce the antidepressant drug. Nope. He increased it.

That was the worst decision of my life. I lost my long term partner, I lost my job. A job of 10 years.

My advise to anyone is to avoid antidepressants as much as you can. I wasn't depressed. Even if I was, I feel that being put on this shit (Pristiq) would only make it impossible to actually return to normal. It's taken me months to scale down from 100mg per day to 25 mg every 4days.

Now, I'm on nothing aside from my original narco pill. Thank fuck. Seriously. I'm so pissed off I was put on an antidepressant. It nearly killed me. I was planning suicide any chance I had. Life was horrible. I met a girl and thankfully I broke it off because I was at the limit.

For anyone hanging in there... Hang in there. Even if tomorrow sucks, there'll be one day you rise above it. Don't just go ahead with ideas of drugs that may help. Simply - avoid antidepressants as much as you can. They nearly killed me.

Speak to someone. See a psychologist or psychiatrist. Get  a mental health plan. Make a routine of it. We all need that routine, whether it's work or organised as a 3rd party. Just ask for help.

I grew up believing I was a strong character. I didn't understand mental health. I thought those that were suicidal were weak and couldn't work out how on earth they could do what they did with suicide.

But now that I have been there... My God. The world needs to update itself. People go through this. Most won't ask for help. I didn't. I was stubborn. Most are. Stick with it. You'll get there. There is another day. Finances are stressful. Family is stressful. Unemployment is stressful. But the world is better with you in it.

I have my fall back days even though I got off the antidepressants. It took a long time. I didn't think if get there. Message me if you can't handle it. There is a silver lining. We all have interests. Most will not pick us up financially. But they are there. Stick with it. You are unique. You have a view on SOMETHING that others haven't expressed. Go for it! ",1.201467117159989,3.8437429258589546,2.6112351289616456,89.30125737603504,89.90415913200724,6.093166460454935,20.838702769582184,7.475848149327749,0.979303435804702,2230,75,450,44,76,720,245,553,0.151,0.762,0.087,-0.9912,5,2,4,0,0,2,98.0,3,9,5,13,24,30,7,6,21,0,60,22,6,6,4,71,99,31,5,14,18,0,4,1,2,6,14,1,0,2,42,17,0,4,10,1,1,14,14,22,0,1,32,7,64,8,67,55,12,73,0,6,2,2,34,31,4,13,29,311,106,12,0.07144464812839006,0.0,0.06971967055891543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04858481066868157,0.14983188587248575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991151828436098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358220336295115,0.0,0.0,0.05493652439578981,0.0,0.0435519943738174,0.07890500073687805,0.0,0.0804936528621543,0.0,0.06318698538181405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704273802659082,0.0,0.0,0.18430355029815984,0.0,0.06153517074411394,0.07251481395228744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312662472836141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485593289630452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156554883483233,0.0,0.06019519743057556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735165584459378,0.0,0.07224912153039875,0.05104007089823755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660494259509742,0.18663439938988305,0.06853621659162826,0.12181091992177888,0.0,0.05714081170108809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518846401162297,0.0,0.0,0.19155136660764746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065231146449366,0.0,0.0,0.2126933675321176,0.0,0.15808583549759594,0.0,0.039264110172398704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139040352703015,0.03490424626696053,0.0,0.0,0.1264525307233224,0.0,0.0,0.15598054616231138,0.0,0.06448158432116886,0.0,0.09537971480497016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399880270568285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05702643651437875,0.0,0.10504007380188,0.1059506026307038,0.0,0.06900168636218057,0.0,0.0,0.07000058603071581,0.06855306675200579,0.08134020542611152,0.0,0.0,0.048412742573823615,0.05433687432078541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953072329209325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28728641805302185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693213458855141,0.06504052438275959,0.0,0.0,0.07333690461661134,0.0,0.0,0.14299248919766344,0.0,0.0605348185125386,0.05500158059893514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24551880913440546,0.07468945851998174,0.0,0.23444654735051476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371748399638393,0.0,0.0,0.13155326621084648,0.0,0.0,0.04746464960761343,0.04577884571221952,0.07019400404185157,0.11343814033860825,0.041659948866305065,0.08211511309127204,0.0,0.0,0.07937763286016508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437639833249758,0.0859391149509483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057308587253852475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26006277369560205,0.0,0.0,0.1015044563666254,0.0,0.0,0.13802403296964902
mentalhealth,ValkaMoon,2019/01/09,"Someone please help me, not sure what I'm feeling and it's scaring me. Okay so I don't know if this is relevant but about a week ago I tried to kill myself by taking about 800mg of Zoloft. It obviously didn't work. 

For about 4 days now I've had a really weird sensation in my head. It is almost constant but gets a lot worse at night. It's hard to describe but the best way I can is this; you know when you're going to sleep and sometimes it suddenly feels like you're falling or that the bed is spinning? Well that's how my head is feeling. It's also accompanied by a fuzzy feeling towards the top front area of my head. At night it's so bad I'm just crying because of how weird it feels. It's like I'm really high from marijuana but in a bad way. (I haven't smoked in years and never used other drugs so it's not drug related).

I made the mistake of googling it and it says I've had a stroke or have a brain tumour. I know this probably isn't the case but it's terrified me and I can't get to nor afford a doctor or a hospital trip. 

Please if anyone can tell me what's going on... ",0.57483214089158,2.366310801687767,2.8675142175747586,92.8570996147496,82.33333333333334,6.1470555861309855,20.43093010456797,7.255503002510835,0.3953553109521195,848,24,199,12,23,290,125,237,0.19,0.691,0.118,-0.9751,1,0,3,0,0,1,20.0,0,1,0,3,13,13,1,1,14,1,15,10,5,4,3,36,33,23,1,3,13,0,7,2,0,0,5,1,1,0,21,5,0,0,8,0,0,5,9,7,1,0,4,8,16,6,22,29,2,28,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,7,13,119,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426914495531034,0.0,0.1177863438773588,0.0,0.0,0.09406618519819247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224745973929015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19642708760006536,0.07170426323882677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344216899023555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313105160405266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711288545623514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920762050002535,0.07585961605454293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039611100890503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728197075807092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973784612780073,0.1680653541604883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291039522468147,0.0,0.13370014994745086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537059337900084,0.0,0.3621573879819394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884282805226142,0.12427927242053065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013673111677435,0.0,0.19393399536250894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493311837786235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000217950066284,0.0,0.11130141186923738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072111266456634,0.0,0.0,0.2207697448326072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582380153851878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682168724350856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150709601513653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093541627867299,0.11776504177743505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771184344164455,0.0,0.09966488616987786,0.0,0.11633600657519233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108619562023798,0.0,0.08844078597052234,0.0,0.10281109058745512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986094027256659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159187020756126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673350787116666,0.0943531997874688,0.0,0.10576070476198562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563378027482232,0.0,0.1198718548511868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574786364081369
mentalhealth,RFSADE,2019/01/09,"Could really use some support now So as the title probably hints to I have hit a terrible rough patch, and I am doing everything I can to fix it, but there is a lot of wait time and I would love some support so I don't feel as alone in this. 

I lived in the city where I grew up for 27 years, my familiy there is very toxic and abusive and would openly mock my mental illness or claim I am of less value as a person because of it. (It affects my ability to work, and for them money = worth).

I was in therapy weekly and that kept me (mostly) above water.  In sept. I moved to a different city on the other side of the country and my mental health instantly improved.  In nov. I rented my own apartment, and got a cat (lived with friend until then). My mental health took another massive positive step. Now on new years eve I was told I have lost the apartment, after just 2 months of living there, and I have 2 months, but preferably 1 to move out. I have the landlord breathing down my neck, but due to me not being able to get any income other than absolute minimum gov.support, my rent money is limited, and I can't afford an actual move. My mental health also makes it impossible to have flatmates, and nobody wants a cat. 

I have the choice of loosing all my belongings, accept flatmates on the cost of my mental health, and keep the cat. 

Loose the cat, which is my main emotional source of support, and possible some of my belongings and move into someone's basement or something

Or

Keep the cat and all my belongings, but move away from the city where I have now built a mental health treatment plan along with doctors, move away from the posibility of any work, move away from my only family that is not toxic - and live in a house isolated away from everything, together with a previous abuser. 

Now I am keeping that cat, so it's either 1 or 3, but people really negatively affect me. So I have applied now for government housing just until I get more income and can support myself, wait time for reply  4wks, and then if approved, an additional wait until I know where I can move, so I am hoping for it, but so so scared it won't come in time for the end of rentig-contract. It's also super strict and require me to have lived in the city I apply for for 2yrs, which I have not. My case worker who helps me navigate the system said people have had exceptions made before and I should just hope for the best, but with what is riding on it, I am so fucking stressed. I don't have anyone to talk about this with. The non-toxic family that live nearby got severe cat allergies, and also is mourning a death of a close friend now so the last thing they need is me adding my issues on top.",7.822570356472795,6.021943662288938,8.13343039399625,74.72315497185741,63.59662288930581,11.154641651031897,33.32750469043152,9.888512548439397,3.0023306416510325,2104,64,410,35,25,696,244,533,0.093,0.77,0.13699999999999998,0.9774,7,1,1,0,1,0,62.0,0,0,2,11,28,19,2,2,32,0,41,12,2,5,2,86,73,53,2,10,20,0,2,0,2,4,7,1,3,1,22,33,1,9,4,0,6,13,8,7,0,0,11,3,55,12,72,55,13,69,0,2,0,2,11,30,1,12,25,301,77,6,0.05707522103531972,0.13524960783528672,0.055697182530856704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05911271600654465,0.0,0.13692910092370736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776262149934854,0.05984834573572996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03990832161288434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21449619585627716,0.0,0.0,0.034792524990082035,0.0,0.04856680931239325,0.0,0.05989692321525865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049165249136478135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556991974369843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05963145814035165,0.0,0.058418907213843324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420194155000415,0.05055170501417134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025910568700959,0.0,0.10761087765501733,0.0,0.028858946673967677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819234838136142,0.05276512214929406,0.059638894596158475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129653636522647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30334145501442555,0.0,0.0,0.038256317565950215,0.0,0.0,0.11337714546992547,0.0,0.1317142840177926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957170215291559,0.0,0.15219323671256985,0.0,0.0,0.03136704883503079,0.046523922872060766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30239079504426297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230434597022087,0.048523311895009864,0.05151261534978256,0.05400595416473058,0.03809815323743061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451103914100884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111379380204217,0.4852954190784001,0.0,0.04232055320018981,0.0,0.05512360413412549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04340827750532166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913754365072229,0.049835881514138834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434373600777854,0.0,0.0,0.06153674165798925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312769617957339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429160529869361,0.0,0.057142253109168185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447875395414081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04835964956713352,0.043939293595999074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653794728589161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238414222945557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04587490069724247,0.0,0.0,0.06527048940872397,0.0,0.03791824074562188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984306111739233,0.0,0.0,0.054537819604111235,0.06341267063997325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929466566322367,0.0,0.04709303475483841,0.03366444413461786,0.0,0.04578229959027223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310288135262901,0.0,0.0,0.08108919891079965,0.0,0.0,0.07350914212423776
mentalhealth,brutallyopen,2019/01/09,Why Do You Choose To Stay? I know that many people in this world have felt that they don't want to be here yet still remain. My reason for staying is because I know that my death would devastate my mom as I have seen how she reacted to the death of my brother. Why do you choose to stay?,3.4907377049180326,3.8506304918032797,4.0919262295082,92.88739754098364,71.95081967213116,7.411475409836067,23.44672131147541,7.1686216300943375,0.5311934426229508,224,5,53,2,4,71,42,61,0.203,0.797,0.0,-0.9258,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,3,0,10,13,2,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,11,0,8,9,0,7,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,2,36,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174134406304486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750373373053307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23754166586047354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21910610060308974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25311059583842394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982652695321744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22220161677743155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6910476478924279,0.1725892543660144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274698837952717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3900192978207532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352148279766384,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway857874,2019/01/09,"Can anyone offer some input on what I'm experiencing? I've been feeling very paranoid for some time now, and recently it has started to become crippling and impair my ability to get through the day. I've gradually become hyperaware of my surroundings, and loud or sudden noise can send me into panic mode. I was never much of an anxious person before, but now I'm plagued with horrible anxiety. The worst of this is that I constantly feel as if someone or something is planning to do me harm, or a horrible event is going to occur. It's incredibly difficult to keep my back turned in any kind of open space, as fear will build until I start shaking uncontrollably and have no other choice than to appease my mind by checking my surroundings. Only a short time afterward it will happen again, and again, and again. This fear is even worse when I'm outside or in large areas, to the point where even leaving my room is a daunting task.

I don't understand what this is or why it's happening to me, and I've been extremely reluctant to seek out a professional or try to research this. Respectively, because I have a deep mistrust of therapists and psychiatrists, and I don't want to fill my mind with even more dark, anxiety-inducing thoughts from what information I may stumble upon.

Can anyone help me or provide some guidance? My life is falling into pieces with no end in sight, and I have no idea what to do.",8.684296785304246,7.490081958955227,8.829104477611946,68.48053386911599,61.5,12.126750861079223,39.272101033295066,11.20814326018867,4.4408102181400695,1127,50,199,26,13,372,156,268,0.21600000000000005,0.741,0.043,-0.9943,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,11,10,0,5,9,0,24,1,0,0,1,41,40,23,0,2,9,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,1,1,14,17,0,1,6,0,1,5,6,8,0,0,4,5,20,2,36,33,7,43,0,0,1,0,5,18,0,12,20,144,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234350380190627,0.0,0.10388083151128608,0.1534067856176183,0.0,0.18989843824776775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044159909153722,0.0,0.08277780035956131,0.29994412390423103,0.11554934993962596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467433675509331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757487866796287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202717809843166,0.0,0.0,0.26906884306281964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056084556445495,0.13732145781577487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094593611634976,0.0,0.07717396302874682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24016158146220526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101879840192473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329311626102307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069854437852012,0.0,0.1414069117041843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437845685204528,0.0,0.0,0.0959142038513838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742232732579696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982305499369808,0.0,0.10473148754812607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327625633127352,0.0,0.1593231496596367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856870554511625,0.0,0.0,0.12836773122637474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340786350717195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505647889791412,0.10453964103687736,0.0,0.0,0.1922291510916493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766546869066347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780401528241368,0.1583633071149419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219414121013887,0.14770316187440072,0.0,0.14136470077090174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204296987278543,0.08009388903465241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253154012127213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383840795707227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,therendno,2019/01/09,"Overdose- regret I took 2000mg of an antipsychotic.

I regretted it almost instantly and phoned for help.

I wasted an ambulance and a bed in hospital.

All because talking therapies have such a long waiting list. IMO medication alone cannot help in the long term.

Can anyone relate. I feel broken.",2.6650104821802927,5.5788001132075475,4.295345911949688,74.75589098532497,95.03773584905659,7.638574423480084,26.643605870020966,8.167268648758528,3.136037316561846,238,11,36,7,9,79,43,53,0.24,0.665,0.095,-0.8074,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,3,1,0,0,1,8,6,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,4,5,2,6,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852366558501374,0.2950192391682783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991741113267841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364223714878682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440289850665843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818586072220774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5041675046946602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28695693778796194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289520633618388,0.0,0.0,0.3257514021749734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164794160999518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dykening,2019/01/09,"Coping mechanisms for hypersexuality? Due to a lot of sexual trauma in my childhood, I'm hypersexual. It gets in the way of my life on most days, and I have yet to really find a good coping mechanism for dealing with it. The obvious answer might be masturbation, but when I do that just because of a hypersexuality episode, I end up feeling like absolute shit afterwards for a few hours. Anything I can do to deal with this more healthily? I don't think jerking off every time it acts up is the best option given how bad it makes me feel, but it's very hard to ignore.  


Please don't comment if you're not aware of what hypersexuality is, dismiss it/don't believe in it (this includes equating it to ""teenage hormones"" in underage survivors), or believe that you don't need sexual trauma to be hypersexual! I'm not here to educate or debate, I just really need to work on my coping. I'm recovering in some areas, but this is still a difficult one for me.",7.096358695652175,6.717754179347828,8.708826086956524,65.39704347826091,64.27173913043478,11.490434782608695,35.791304347826085,11.00357731598739,4.0027300000000015,755,32,138,19,10,267,110,184,0.129,0.789,0.08199999999999999,-0.8749,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,2,7,10,2,0,8,0,13,2,1,2,1,29,24,9,0,3,10,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,13,3,0,1,5,0,0,1,5,7,0,1,1,3,12,3,28,20,6,23,0,0,0,0,4,11,1,8,11,97,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542057795060467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754882180017048,0.10772322379975713,0.0,0.0,0.3981923632384864,0.18545045713909716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396592097165913,0.3643687814994907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651616645394964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488891798806523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870383204847964,0.1262445281594664,0.0,0.0,0.161513408949302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232577962627707,0.0,0.0,0.14821933226969222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15830104794010338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402770918399518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481833537709748,0.08633354192473129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502359368359036,0.0,0.0,0.11795797771857837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746564482423134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620624070838858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974599046548585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19397892306827685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264150470182432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18139439771663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112404124711395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132312058920696,0.0,0.0,0.1030433636791008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580756998094596,0.0,0.14026736034034815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864990811827834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ClownGiggles,2019/01/09,"Lost my grip on reality? Today I woke up and realised that I had lost all sense of reality. I no longer feel like i have a grasp on what is real, what is not; what is important, and what has meaning. On my walk over to the lab today I started to realise how disconnected from the world I feel. As I was walking and looking at the environment around me I started thinking about it in detail. I was trying to be more in the moment, but in doing so I felt even more disconnected. When i tried to instead think about the past or the future I found myself unable to, memories all seem like a white hazey blur, and the future just seems entirely blank. Not blank in the sense that I can make it whatever I want to, but instead empty, as if I cannot even envisage a future of any kind significant enough for me to want it.

As I got onto campus I started to think again about the present moment, and about what would happen if I didn’t exist in it. Not in the sense of not existing at all, but instead in that specific moment and time; if I suddenly disappeared and had a different life, what effect would it really have? Are my current and previous actions really all that important? If I were to suddenly seem to stop being around, what would people think/do? 

I wonder if my teachers would worry, or would they only notice my absence because of missed work reminders, rather than actively being aware that I am no longer present.

The more I try to be mindful of my thoughts, my fears, and where they stem from, the less connected I feel to them. It seems to me that when I take the time to actually think about the things that are affecting me, they themselves lose all of that meaning I was placing behind them; and if those are the things that motivate me to act and think a certain way, then removing that meaning leaves me with nothing at all. I question everything that i assign meaning to, my thoughts, my actions, my choices, my relationships, my possessions. They all have a meaning based in past and emotion, but if I remove that meaning by being more aware of why they have meaning, all those things quickly lose their significance to my life. 

The things I thought defined me, made me who I was, and gave me a purpose, suddenly mean nothing at all; so why was I so concerned with them in the first place.

In a sense, it gives me the freedom to live in the moment, and not have any form of attachment to any one idea, person, or quality. But, it also makes me question if I am searching for something that doesn’t exist. I feel like I want to start over, find something new, experience new things,and make those connections and meanings that I believe in, and after analysis remain something that I am happy with, but I am unsure if those things are possible. Is what I currently have the best I will have? Will I continue to be miserable and feel insecure about my own mental health the more I look for something to make me feel more complete and secure in my life?
",7.650985737497741,6.6726703734729504,7.684448456400073,75.16115183246073,63.4153577661431,10.835385448636938,35.988987181801775,10.004066432519934,3.42963614370825,2336,93,442,42,29,756,228,573,0.079,0.8270000000000001,0.094,0.9148,3,0,4,0,0,0,66.0,0,0,9,9,25,16,0,3,29,0,46,4,0,9,10,114,99,47,0,18,25,0,8,3,0,7,4,0,0,1,41,23,0,2,37,0,0,8,10,8,0,2,20,11,79,8,77,66,20,74,0,6,3,0,16,30,0,20,38,355,120,4,0.0,0.0,0.056862066920406226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04659763951112703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887460454463805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037433967210332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03552019679307683,0.0,0.0,0.06564912655242712,0.061149643508549026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109386087636489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060878626337329815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554469958716228,0.0,0.0602073773934261,0.0,0.07697215287965732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052368353982275184,0.05699819109760299,0.0,0.06556874209613403,0.17677512029824508,0.08325466554192539,0.055947307277201916,0.0,0.05325674323731889,0.04956351915787887,0.0,0.06388887039581857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055896863870167526,0.0,0.0,0.046602983530852585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051527019313269015,0.06202835582019296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619371441462332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657785255583518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067812033922575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061698379849063074,0.0,0.0,0.1234711981202914,0.08540176270745954,0.0,0.051452529681059414,0.0,0.0978624457979528,0.13037604839355174,0.12721483310320505,0.0,0.0,0.05513546718658532,0.1555798437546101,0.0,0.0,0.5712474882201679,0.0,0.0,0.0587213729659675,0.0,0.05883500521308356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255298471990458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118212130953095,0.06633955908255076,0.0,0.0,0.03948453264286312,0.04431614434068932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124856731945597,0.0403963369286314,0.05087817912736367,0.12175725267465964,0.0,0.0,0.0656894596195471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054906641562306,0.0,0.0,0.06632279510690943,0.07465713281985789,0.0,0.0,0.0625590205791315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218336921804995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943306568564024,0.0,0.0,0.16497218448624332,0.0,0.0,0.048715431706740815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04381098110922787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355642824366595,0.224018252027811,0.0,0.1387770569385358,0.06795415931676747,0.0,0.11046425832784988,0.0,0.0,0.11868232876671005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310556772743856,0.04625116170117647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051572861216686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319016525893979,0.04242047250894476,0.059174923353894085,0.0,0.2069628680244977,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LillyTheEnderdragon,2019/01/09,"Disassociate.? I wonder if I disassociate often. I find I often doubt my memory, find it hard to understand the concept of permanence, get strange feelings that I can’t really describe other than strange, hyper aware? Of my body, things don’t seem real at times, sometimes feeling as if in a simulation, depth/zoom perception? Like things seem too big or too small, sometimes at the same time, doubting my thoughts, like when choosing how to word a sentence or find the correct word. 

I have anxiety, depression and ocd, which I think don’t help. ",7.547176870748303,8.36707154081633,7.516734693877552,70.26278911564629,63.18367346938776,10.61496598639456,37.76190476190476,10.504223727775694,4.207259863945579,433,21,72,10,6,139,68,98,0.159,0.735,0.106,-0.6531,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,5,0,4,1,1,1,1,28,13,8,0,2,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,13,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,3,10,2,9,12,1,8,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,11,5,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220103338190968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064756291603984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010193451096574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879774441812393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.509684836647252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711691062942457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651588307809675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12459437416543225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18162742647535665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115771070179824,0.1190822865262295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384442961437139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36768878768614777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469866299604264,0.11910719787685725,0.0,0.14757142538094636,0.21678134063717866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935121835366006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20158366872089006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,underseawalnut,2019/01/09,"I have a whole bunch of negative qualities and no idea how to fix them? I'm not the best person. I don't know how else to write this, so I'm going to list some of the bad traits I've noticed, things I do and say that just feels so natural until later when I think over what I've done and realize how \*not normal\* they were.

​

\- I feel as if the world owes me something. I don't outright say it, but I feel my personality is leaning toward that thinking. I just look at people and expect them to be nice to me without me having to put in any effort. Yeah, I'll jump at the chance to do things for them, respond to them if they make small talk with me, or just smile at them in general, but I feel those aren't enough considering I don't actually talk to people or acknowledge them until they make the first move (which I know is a real shitty thing to do, but I just don't know what to say or do around other people).

\- I'm not the greatest daughter. I am short with my mom and treat her the same way she treats me, which I know is wrong, but I can't help but do it. It just feels natural to just not give a crap about her feelings and such like she has done to me, my brother, and sister. I want to change that. She's been saying she wants to kill herself ever since she quit her job that she's been working at for years and it scares me that I can't feel anything but annoyance any time she says things would be better if she killed herself. I hate how far my lack of feelings for her has gone and it terrifies me.

\- I'm not the best sister. My mom has pitted us against each other for our whole life, things like shit talking one of us to the rest of us. For example, for some reason my mom hates my sister (ever since we were little) and has always talked shit about her to me and my brother. As a result, we see our sister as someone who's disgusting, lazy, and a nobody despite her paying the majority of the bills and actually having friends outside of the family. She goes out and do normal things, the only thing that's true is her being a slob by never cleaning her room (piles of clothes in corners of the room, trash like candy wrappers and junk in the drawers, etc.).

Because of the way our mom has raised us, I don't feel any love for my little brother (20) and older sister (23). I feel the same unnatural dislike my mom has for my sister, although I feel that my dislike is so much lesser than my mom's. I want to change how I treat my sister.

My mom (M) would take stuff from my sister (S) and give them to us. Things from food S had bought for herself and just things in general. And I take it. It really scares me how much I don't care when these things happen until S discovers what happens. I feel S is so unwelcome in our house, but she has no way to leave since her credit is too bad to move. I really want to change how I treat her, but I don't know how.

\- I don't know if I'm depressed or just lazy. I don't shower regularly, I don't clean up during my days off, I hate going to work and being around other people, and I just hate getting up from the couch and leaving the internet unless it's to go watch a movie. I think I'm depressed, but I don't know. I want to say that I feel like I'm in a black hole with the light of the stars behind me in a tiny circle signaling the opening of the black hole and how deep I'm in it. I'm floating in a space of nothing, yet there's this pressure closing in all around me. I feel weightless, yet heavy at the same time...if that makes any sense.

\- I am a heavy procrastinator. I know what I want to do with my life, but I can't work up the motivation to do anything. I know what I need to do and how to do it, but I'm just watching as the days turn into weeks then to months and I'm still working at a job I hate.

\- If given the chance, I'll lie to save myself. Things that are so obviously a lie and makes my heart pound because I know it's wrong, but I can't stop the lie from coming out. It literally just slips out. And it's over the smallest things, things that won't negatively affect my life. It's stupid and ridiculous.

Those are the top things I can think of, but I know there's more. I want to place the whole blame on how our mom raised us. She didn't teach us how to be respectful adults, she just sat there and expected us to know what to do and how to behave. Her discipline methods was to beat the hell out of our asses with a belt. I feel with physical discipline, a parent should set a limit of spanks to the offense, but she would just keep hitting as if she's working out her anger, and it's usually over the smallest of things (me and my brother were never spanked for burning paper and leaves in his toy truck, but my sister was spanked for shouting at my brother in an argument they were having). And of course, with us taking after her, we treat each other like shit. There are good moments where we're a family, but 95% of the time we're at each other throats.

I want to change the person she turned me into, but I don't know how. I think therapy is the only way, but I keep putting it off to look up later. My brother has been in prison for 3 years and he gets out in 3 weeks. He has these plans to get himself and us out of the hood, but I feel that as soon as he steps foot back into this family, all of it will be squeezed and drained out of him. My sister has been saving up money and my mom calls her evil each time S denies giving M any money (and it's never for anything important, mainly for things that could wait until we get paid again), and I know she'll do the same to my brother. I want to change who I am so I can be someone my brother can depend on when our mom eventually turns against him.

I'm sorry this has gotten so long, I just need a push in the right direction to better myself. It feels like I'm asking too much for this sub and I'm really sorry for this.

TL;DR - I feel that the person that I am needs to go. I feel that my mom is toxic and was the main problem in how I turned out. I feel stupid trying to say my mom was the main problem, but I can't see it any other way. I want to change myself for the better and become a better person, but I don't know where to start. Please help.",3.9467937988879456,3.9546416328244303,5.012521911224205,87.93086561115825,70.83969465648855,7.843181603995854,25.10413721609651,7.3871296695380915,0.9238544906229378,4809,117,1093,45,81,1587,407,1310,0.157,0.755,0.08800000000000001,-0.9989,5,0,2,0,0,0,159.0,21,0,11,19,62,59,20,3,64,1,96,13,8,24,9,248,212,113,2,31,52,32,22,6,1,7,3,8,6,6,79,76,1,7,45,1,8,13,34,32,0,2,22,39,186,27,172,174,31,129,1,2,8,2,134,71,6,13,45,772,265,13,0.0,0.0,0.05762870814782405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02456905224146207,0.0319927823923323,0.035878862373095836,0.12047732807673328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289527669295792,0.07885658562503106,0.027604009562988342,0.0,0.0,0.022704646376559383,0.049308070620270136,0.035999096853211544,0.032610547514182936,0.0,0.0,0.06197409186743784,0.10445787566458152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03015064183376597,0.0,0.030105017474758345,0.0,0.1874156053332568,0.025435126740311044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02357512073231406,0.0,0.0,0.03808529008239224,0.0,0.05086358508596814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060433293342933424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024666243442611552,0.0,0.0,0.030509560837881543,0.03293070884711625,0.0,0.0534182084986969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350704084281807,0.0,0.2985974765251953,0.0632828581817499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025115878959576177,0.035704489504181626,0.0,0.02281269390478146,0.0,0.061707115059846676,0.08497573766167067,0.06712410712897438,0.02476607137107897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222173091048901,0.0,0.0,0.14576031982388135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034989954584959675,0.03958301047987872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034070502706109784,0.0,0.033332691345027865,0.0,0.0,0.058602514442120994,0.05249038474386232,0.06533509412166105,0.0,0.2434112131844933,0.0,0.0,0.0937953397954807,0.0,0.0,0.06256794754837587,0.08655318958536985,0.0591881589790445,0.0,0.0261307028891154,0.04959093674361793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026649512067141886,0.0,0.07883872232404628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149837510296421,0.023568383501041262,0.06276562565810928,0.06511781798910518,0.06568228494350788,0.06831974782095836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578609065447587,0.02833220986859966,0.033616990166529234,0.0,0.0,0.02000844087512581,0.04491363551770417,0.0,0.0,0.03278653664441155,0.0,0.0,0.08188195882361829,0.12891035688729616,0.030849710357392594,0.03241207324057226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05650721519899469,0.0,0.05936611937523802,0.0,0.031405883954693216,0.0,0.03360849516879213,0.05674777164429256,0.030358949121860337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02521612542006882,0.0,0.16436887979242185,0.05912389240717834,0.0,0.04705881915583317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909279484269249,0.07327578330593801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05003671648007356,0.022731533372110372,0.0,0.06610671787741665,0.020899552168879332,0.0,0.02358051425668033,0.024686118076333224,0.0,0.0,0.03380165736527728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660249215564801,0.09493159773843704,0.0,0.0,0.0337670041273373,0.0,0.31386567580114355,0.09459940493638803,0.0,0.0,0.06887034936978954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020047076657667542,0.1284687538626525,0.0,0.0,0.35517667641626505,0.0,0.03252011396923196,0.0,0.17415947610256782,0.11718685423912978,0.047369986443432065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889842026586186,0.0,0.028463232536150667,0.0,0.10748101335872554,0.0,0.0,0.06292597173181615,0.06456686427830496,0.035878862373095836,0.03802918482750636
mentalhealth,itskanemane,2019/01/09,"Worried about my brother I’m worried about my brother. His true personality within the family is selfless, strong, loving, and funny. I’ve noticed around our highschool years we got heavy into weed, neither of us started to be cool. But I’ve noticed what I’m guessing is him chase dopamine  and it seems unhealthy and I need advice to help him approach shit differently. He’s been fucking w lots of girls, making little relationships. He calls friends family. And sometimes it seems like he’s on social media way too much. Please help.",3.9070290534208074,6.9698733298969096,4.27177132146204,80.14227741330836,78.58762886597938,5.589128397375821,29.436738519212746,6.980632752743323,1.9786783505154641,431,20,68,5,11,135,72,97,0.099,0.653,0.248,0.9442,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,3,0,0,1,4,8,2,0,1,1,4,3,1,1,1,15,15,5,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,1,9,6,10,12,3,9,0,0,0,2,20,5,2,4,3,36,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715487043012746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316701842304114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642187825151447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802633601525158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032201802813645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242518431146096,0.14867874139981235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862525062045815,0.0,0.17716522514204114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559321440415188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857024235657642,0.16118740457402506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672639514958707,0.14514949467469,0.0,0.1073509402095481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822378275474303,0.11924859317760915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661972589113191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042488367804273,0.0,0.176535917069519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266426075991573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928153626161795,0.0,0.0,0.16508301956551732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393931312558194,0.0,0.0,0.15905856136884775,0.0,0.11383170650919534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345087809551706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765421469985275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266481572709635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356506615760597
mentalhealth,PBJ_the_fox,2019/01/09,"I'm fucking scared This probably doesn't belong here but I need to get this off my chest

Psych wards scare the shit out of me and I have a feeling I'm going to end up in one at this rate, I hear voices (usually the voice of an emotionally abusive teacher from years ago), I'm always fucking stressed out, my only outlet for stress doesn't help anymore, I usually play MTG semi competitively but after being harassed by a group of regulars at a game store I've been afraid to show up


I just realized how incoherent that block.of text is...

Tl:dr I'm scared and I don't know what to do with myself anymore",3.1004878048780498,4.7394860813008135,4.7484634146341484,82.92610975609756,74.3658536585366,7.521626016260162,26.934146341463407,8.238735603445708,1.7859502439024395,480,18,96,8,10,162,86,123,0.231,0.693,0.076,-0.972,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,11,4,6,6,0,8,4,2,1,0,13,20,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,3,1,1,3,10,0,1,1,4,10,1,20,18,0,15,0,0,0,2,4,8,3,0,6,57,15,1,0.0,0.19095921159625545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286681942257967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410573046658794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31967318532607225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129371814916326,0.14274812162278336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149201750101417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979967568609977,0.08420428328653022,0.0,0.09159620128994578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18164946287065534,0.0,0.1080283537659744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857440714997727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950495979652168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921245771654586,0.12257648035863708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376771525316365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4840756188742247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543792333786494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692376722281365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550103272881493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378771554189456
mentalhealth,HufflepuffsNWoozles7,2019/01/09,"Staying on Top So I’ve been back home after finishing my undergrad and things have been good, but I keep having moments where I fumble with urges to cut again. I haven’t cut for several months and I’ve been doing mostly well aside from some second guessing about what I’m doing with my life in terms of professional/educational goals. I just look at my arms sometimes and I see the invisible past scars and it scares me and nags at me to do it once more. It’s usually at night when I’m alone with my thoughts and I wish I knew ways to better squash these thoughts.",3.5780701754385973,5.176451543859653,4.255263157894738,87.11517543859651,73.03508771929825,7.522807017543862,24.070175438596486,8.167268648758528,1.1850596491228078,452,13,95,7,9,144,79,114,0.116,0.77,0.115,-0.0387,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,8,7,3,1,1,0,9,2,1,0,0,19,19,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,6,2,13,3,16,13,4,20,0,0,2,0,0,7,0,3,11,63,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21647260003269966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16071673455608051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848534480238473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530870344899918,0.0,0.0,0.2302494342363801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096553056580004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18577878491724487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476308131101712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755167925724636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16683076988872955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614288076486885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225901388097924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19952486937130254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20925670376740502,0.0,0.1665548897206991,0.0,0.0,0.23612319748218355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671745110400389,0.0,0.0,0.2227781615995602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885777405257174,0.0,0.0,0.3318631400484578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23019634121773785,0.0,0.0,0.16590338588718745,0.0,0.0,0.18792619721934625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24035259974949064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tombcharted,2019/01/09,"Drug free anxiety remedies are not working. Is it time to get a prescription? I usually have CBD only, but lately even that has not been working. Panic attacks are frequent. My mind is like the static from the tv when the cable is out. I read so many negative things about pills but I am finding it very difficult to carry on like this. 

​

What should I do? :/",1.8371746031746028,4.586504114285717,3.120476190476193,86.54341269841271,86.42857142857142,5.968253968253968,24.920634920634928,7.3871296695380915,1.6018730158730157,288,12,52,5,9,93,56,70,0.205,0.655,0.14,-0.7659,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,1,1,4,0,11,2,0,0,0,8,12,4,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,5,4,6,10,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,40,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368838666378893,0.2656575331673747,0.0,0.0,0.1672501887168626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487214581270493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535396267442924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440204904467951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19982246984669408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422435719399135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24662244812208625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362166386356213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216549635295167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207524407328619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662768107463595,0.0,0.25651341503407343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186876438792252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145247047398315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748402479779394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407883830192524,0.18039139255046494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318328274450748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656575331673747,0.0
mentalhealth,Barmecide451,2019/01/09,"I'm in the hospital and I need to talk to someone I should probably explain how I got here. I've been depressed lately due to high tension and drama in my relationship with my mother. I'd been feeling low key suicidal and updated a template of a suicide note I'd made years earlier. My mom found it and showed it to my therapist. Now, I've had depression before and tried to kill myself many times, but my old therapist understood and talked me through my problems and sent me home. I'm at a relatively low risk rn, but my new therapist decided otherwise and now I'm in the hospital  waiting to be shipped to a psych ward. It's almost 1 am, the lights are bright and it's noisy and the gurney+scrubs are uncomfortable, so I can't sleep. I'm alone and half naked and scared and tired. I just want to talk to someone to distract myself. None of the texts I send to my friends go through, so this is the only way I can contact anyone.",4.892588652482266,5.392188968085108,5.8976595744680855,80.68333333333334,68.8936170212766,9.670921985815603,33.21985815602837,9.725611199111238,3.0588815602836874,738,33,150,16,12,245,111,188,0.206,0.73,0.064,-0.9777,1,1,0,0,0,2,17.0,0,0,0,0,7,12,1,4,10,0,11,2,1,2,0,30,26,18,3,4,3,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,5,14,0,1,5,2,0,3,2,10,0,1,8,3,19,2,20,16,1,20,0,4,1,0,11,7,0,1,9,89,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135388778116047,0.1400321224236502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453882946605097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504992236537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23290459851024864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836396340204054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824585236322346,0.10445943410890404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076840401609567,0.0,0.10813618981519307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285203432145346,0.13562214074314313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495848536759227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251769343001426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793471347796484,0.0,0.1370771559209427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835104780508827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025316525989872,0.0,0.1305823146696233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187542850935658,0.0,0.0,0.10282987554068736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577439717792776,0.12937340384687882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451601080329754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536429255019064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353031440550138,0.0,0.2291183632232332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957857450868652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260191788462821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4709520202936216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883941449526552,0.15539883301596066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179565955421222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974770710689423,0.10731983280814013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870679092807976
mentalhealth,maricf69,2019/01/09,my whole life they told me things would get better i’m a bipolar depressed anxious drug addict with an eating disorder. i’ve been through rehab and trying to find the right medication for years. i’ve been told too many times to count things will get better and i’m still waiting for when that is and about ready to give up hope. i just got 9 months clean and i’ve never wanted to use more than right now. i have zero people in my life and i’m sleeping in till 4 pm because being awake is so miserable for me. so sick and tired of feeling ok one minute then right back to depressed and bawling my eyes out. will things ever get better or is this just how i’m gonna be forever? what have i been trying so hard for? i have no one able to emotionally be there for me yet i never give up on anyone letting myself be hurt over and over seeing people i care about go through rough shit. i’ve said i’m grateful i didn’t die from overdoing it with drugs but that doesn’t sound too bad right now honestly...selfish of me to say but that’s just how i feel. here’s to me writing this as my last small sliver of hope stays inside me and i don’t go back out to using and getting fucked up to feel a different way,1.9871541501976289,3.681640422924904,3.213577075098815,92.5055830039526,77.57707509881423,5.864822134387352,20.98616600790514,6.574015621080383,0.1887090909090912,949,24,209,8,22,307,144,253,0.14,0.773,0.086,-0.9423,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,3,22,14,2,1,4,1,20,15,3,4,3,37,50,22,1,4,6,0,5,0,0,4,10,3,1,0,10,14,1,1,4,0,0,2,6,7,0,3,8,10,21,7,38,33,2,35,0,4,2,1,8,15,2,3,16,135,31,0,0.10114802592478933,0.0,0.0,0.11026627826739473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142684786540838,0.0,0.07072505153535658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555317688226072,0.08445437669133367,0.06165889778171728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26837162767000805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312715359287344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423729303073354,0.0,0.10497568169611678,0.10567815883149632,0.1159244007638134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345991953996985,0.1034996821534142,0.0,0.11377791501329487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914941802827416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343044319710408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244746324426437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350972008989213,0.21138267525955004,0.1940608063500922,0.11496950818045985,0.0,0.08089731638007024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060876373159164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009256248376856,0.0,0.0,0.10828105374571803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244914117588822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343070949651996,0.14288768402636515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254822247730698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189599480719527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073538928471047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560231863424046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370810401962465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402466109041248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455194459053835,0.09621493531934648,0.08043696999988302,0.0,0.0,0.08060188098299416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382699507560664,0.0,0.0,0.10122107381944033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781033746273988,0.08077694416176832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015947618803162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058980227327622176,0.11625477632484148,0.0,0.19330254674912006,0.0,0.13734574014426704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471883700185967,0.0,0.0,0.05965972634542727,0.08028659492602681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292815874077652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185265553833184,0.0,0.0,0.06513601242726902
mentalhealth,frvknloos,2019/01/09,Do some of you guys feel dizziness just by going outside? Everytime I travel or just going to the supermarket I feel pressured or like mentally strained and I get cold all of the sudden. And sometimes I feel like vomiting.,3.2331707317073186,6.261560121951224,4.300682926829271,78.83395121951222,81.92682926829268,7.182439024390242,30.151219512195123,8.238735603445708,2.917991219512196,179,9,29,4,5,58,29,41,0.108,0.775,0.117,0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,11,7,4,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,2,4,7,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5263571088933856,0.2478950939623185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129187972955385,0.0,0.3944133685322202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34358209460092376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33905091649591984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496918803106447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34318941491795224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nuggetbugget24,2019/01/09,"What is happening to me? Please help.
I am the mom of a beautiful toddler. I need to be here for him. I am not. I am so anxious all day about my own health. Thinking of death, of how I could die young and leave him without a mom while being a small child. I think about this 100x per day. 
I obsess about certain conditions and even feel real symptoms, which I don't know if I should be concerned of. I have been to the doctor and I have been fine. I had an anxiety attack, where I lost consiousnes and had to be taken to the ER. All this back home. Now I have moved to Canada and healthcare is different here. 
I am losing it. Last night my toddler slept really badly, woke up like 20x. Today he is sleeping fine and I can't sleep. I've been trying for 5 hours. I am SO TIRED, but can't sleep. This happens often. 
During the day I am barely functioning. I even say stuff wrong. Mix words and have trouble typing. I worry my brain is damaged.
I don't want to take drugs because I breastfeed.
I have a perfect life, a perfect supportive husband. All my external world is great. I feel lucky and thankful. I love my family and want to be worthy of them and not a hassle. But I am a fuck up.
Please help me.
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mentalhealth,thedankestofall420,2019/01/09,"Everyone hates me, and I dont blame them at all. A lot of my ""friends"" left me this last year, and in the past I used to say ""oh, they're just idiots and jerks""...but I've been thinking about it, and they're right. I'm trash. Im cringey. I'm a waste of perfectly good oxygen. 

I used to think being cluster b made me this disgusting and horrible, but I think maybe I was genetically destined to be this way. To be alone forever, everyone leaving me eventually when they move on. I cant make anyone love me. I'm worthless, even as a sex doll or whatever. I'm usless space. I cant fix something that's not meant to be right in the first place. Born to be abused. ",0.4507434052757766,2.5375770000000024,2.625438848920865,92.74444124700241,84.75539568345323,6.2965947242206255,21.496882494004804,7.554174236665415,0.7375521342925664,509,17,118,9,15,172,90,139,0.179,0.7759999999999999,0.045,-0.9577,0,1,1,0,1,0,26.0,0,0,2,2,4,8,3,0,5,0,10,2,0,4,2,20,24,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,4,1,15,4,14,15,2,17,0,1,0,2,5,9,0,2,6,63,20,0,0.0,0.20188078378212487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764695902619523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913858199796125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996923451451088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253903478837804,0.0,0.0,0.32562424227816666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144931131534379,0.0,0.0,0.13164060657756887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429125675135135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822192939286704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18404724475046472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888818110983533,0.0,0.18041527634224036,0.18512602051086507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485697066122402,0.15378095845048365,0.16122433965139796,0.11373467412328167,0.0,0.1711766860334201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18109446145074376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265371201576828,0.0,0.0,0.1780181946568916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910192070861184,0.0,0.13549861524254736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117226987890565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32753141123135104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29431939654831296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524530368351495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972366918258036
mentalhealth,hylics,2019/01/09,"suicide? i am a transgirl in early high school. i have no motivation to live. my family is extremely transphobic, homophobic, etc. and i just feel like i am getting more masculine every day. i have been seeing so much bullshit about transgender people being 'misled' or 'unnatural' or whatever but i have felt like this for as long as i can remember. i really, really wish that i was never born. i have no access to hrt or t-blockers. i don't feel that there is any hope for me. i want to overdose asap. i just don't know how to live with myself; i developed a self-harm habit just to cope. not sure what to do now.",1.3038641686182686,3.7449923606557407,3.961030444964873,82.18508196721315,84.40983606557377,7.748009367681497,21.82903981264637,8.634040054169528,1.8521925058548008,476,16,93,13,14,167,83,122,0.101,0.7609999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.6457,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,2,0,15,0,0,2,2,22,24,9,1,3,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,4,17,4,13,20,3,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,8,70,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668215211802245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962387601719702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241603575302944,0.0,0.0,0.16934529575688875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189478339893699,0.0,0.2032562293337724,0.1435894601339787,0.1929848278313666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501056201216226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21236017050446934,0.0,0.19963142921663807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046051235972074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19639008291539686,0.0,0.3549610540786025,0.1778725058526927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775300292702026,0.0,0.1550182148525345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934325898051875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575225622966625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276859206965469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034156759331272,0.16016542152035676,0.0,0.20967956427970474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21985375132317936,0.0,0.18943355125168246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855089610031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311320641318076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rogering1970,2019/01/09,"Taking on a significant challenge I have a friend, 28 f, ex Escort (short term 11months), she derailed, drug use, now in RBWH mental health ward.. 

Heavy psychosis,Parioied etc.. 

Non violent....

Cocaine, mdma, ice, marijuana, oxy... 
I've read some brochures etc 

Ten years ago I was a alcoholic, still sober to this day.. 

It would appear that I may be her only support, 

should I consider this???

",3.1559782608695635,6.077710594202903,4.191141304347827,80.37627717391305,80.73913043478261,6.928260869565218,27.46557971014493,8.07648339933343,2.3237666666666668,297,13,50,6,8,96,61,69,0.036000000000000004,0.8220000000000001,0.14300000000000002,0.7303,0,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,3,0,6,3,0,1,0,6,10,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,6,3,3,5,4,10,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,6,28,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141049298419186,0.25812592324985456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576916622989534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801022506518867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5387475373696862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866082312261815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567388823032243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434090216849325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18369715818918467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415989248974795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19288901500232647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740894244060271,0.0,0.0,0.1816031797661581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20860744808660125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715785128530527,0.0,0.0,0.15553969525157849
mentalhealth,TraditionalDefiance,2019/01/09,"School. I got to school early today to talk to my academic counselor. It was the first day of second semester and I was really nervous (but also excited?) to find out if the schedule change I had requested at the end of last semester had been approved. If so, I would finally be out of the absolute living hell that is my English class. 

I was mislead by my current teacher into taking this class when I asked her if there was a lot of public speaking in the AP class. She said no. See, I think for most people 5-6 presentations, essay readings, in class ""stand up"" quizzes (where you get put on the spot to answer a question that decides whether the entire class gets points for that question), socratic seminars, or assignment presentations per month would count as a lot of public speaking, but not for this teacher.

My anxiety skyrockets when I have to speak publicly. It completely consumes my entire life. I don't eat for a full day beforehand, I don't sleep several nights in a row, I occasionally throw up, I usually go through an anxiety attack shortly beforehand, and, if it's really bad, I pass out. If I do make it to the actual presentation, it's a mess of tears, stutters, anyways you get the point. It's *bad.* I am lucky to be on a 504 at school that allows me to do presentations in front of my teacher only, but my English teacher finds all the loopholes in it to the point where I am left literally powerless. Last semester in that class was terrible, as you may be able to imagine.

Anyways, after expressing this with my psychologist, she let me know that she could write a recommendation to the school to get me out of the class. I was ecstatic. I walked into my academic counselors office the very next day, handed her the note, and requested a schedule change. She let me know that I could only be taken out of the class in the 2nd semester. She put in my requested and handed me an appointment form to check back in with her after break. I was so excited.

My request was declined. Something about a strong recommendation by my teacher against it because she thinks I have ""lots of potential."" So now I'm hopeless. We got the semester syllabus today in class and there's even more presentations this semester. I don't know what to do. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to rant.",4.931215753424657,6.40270423059361,6.020271118721464,76.27917380136991,69.47945205479452,9.58458904109589,32.180650684931514,9.903583721103773,3.336426712328766,1815,81,330,45,32,604,203,438,0.102,0.855,0.042,-0.9731,2,0,1,0,0,1,61.0,1,3,0,3,17,13,2,1,31,0,33,5,3,2,1,54,53,23,0,10,12,0,2,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,20,15,1,0,12,1,1,7,5,9,0,2,15,7,53,4,65,27,8,71,2,1,1,0,30,31,1,14,30,245,73,18,0.09271877410887557,0.0,0.09048014868630257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414717015649734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185921682168998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667953767732021,0.10548099086567607,0.0,0.0712950141013557,0.1548326070302585,0.05652050411222297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961683378729559,0.0,0.09721387060465804,0.0,0.0,0.14805679306124456,0.0,0.0,0.1793878166022672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487445318071162,0.0,0.0,0.08212131347028795,0.0,0.0,0.06123987584732745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156888497839912,0.169486559586583,0.07886654189160182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937669305824452,0.0,0.0526942160310618,0.0,0.14831134735215235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528674403344426,0.1511563518173307,0.0,0.0,0.10073921936076492,0.1896224568309298,0.06549001217301084,0.0,0.0,0.08187237622482456,0.08205319739668775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23647855827788106,0.0,0.0,0.06189050169075471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400724090500133,0.0,0.0,0.06874979616641039,0.0,0.0,0.09860746813634773,0.08701028855916852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103361155555294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427952358469123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629476326675189,0.0,0.08879895575988425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641595415333426,0.20773249338047756,0.0,0.09274386512593433,0.0,0.11879604178809056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819678656316929,0.0,0.0,0.3753453976691446,0.07388485862462248,0.0,0.0,0.1047458233932402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278573449867407,0.0,0.0,0.07137944213847018,0.0,0.10379107661704468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971297913606356,0.07452383850397286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882089325791448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17577311306703702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021166304711869,0.07650269893537923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317295137907124,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayy56794,2019/01/09,"I don't know what's wrong with me About four days I was feeling very sick and thought I was going to throw up. I hate throwing up and on that particular night I got so anxious about it that I felt like I was going to die. Now whenever I think about throwing up I'm overcome with the same symptoms. My heart starts to beat uncontrollably, I feel like I can't breath and I end up gasping for air. There is also a feeling of something in my throat. Another strange thing is I feel like I'm high (floating feeling, disconnection from body). I know this sounds silly but any help would greatly be appreciated. Thanks.",2.9489256198347107,5.077441082644633,3.718181818181818,87.99727272727274,76.19008264462809,6.383471074380165,27.52892561983471,7.348242739294969,1.3920512396694222,485,20,99,6,11,154,82,121,0.099,0.6990000000000001,0.201,0.8869,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,7,9,1,1,2,0,9,6,4,0,0,18,27,6,1,1,1,0,6,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,10,0,0,5,2,3,0,1,6,7,16,6,17,19,1,18,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,8,60,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603711049744738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568080760770252,0.1783754359084818,0.0,0.1921761696504029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889541461280682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970704243786092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765475890850906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506671956754932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4300642841123156,0.243053602169064,0.16333252289069175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335515768610276,0.0,0.13605271182424272,0.1875471581037216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16794866005306056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20158147275478924,0.1140213190221179,0.17973082547349814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869762961809293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493218358697599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963695194510633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309591861286473,0.0,0.0,0.12040491495605353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680969034105254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661466895981602,0.0,0.0,0.1130136955121398,0.10899978348071787,0.0,0.13504854199570973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403587768280213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084144536803923,0.18598886089972194,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BulgariaMark,2019/01/09,"Why do people who need help say that they're fine? This isn't just a subjective thing, I see this happen a lot (I'm fairly certain it's not an anecdotal thing either). For the few years I would have few days of pure worthlessness/""depression""/lack of a will to continue, even though I know I have things to live for. This time around, in my current state of pure shit for no reason that stands out, I was thinking why people would put out signs for help, but then turn away help when offered.

I feel like it's not an attention-related thing because I know trust is super-difficult to come by and it's better to be straightforward with my emotions and yet...

It feels hard to put into words why an extended hand is just not something that I/others want, but what they actually need.

Anyone else notice this or have this feeling from time to time? Today is only day 1 of feeling like this but historically they've stuck around for even longer so I want to brace myself",4.5501899696048635,6.046980569148937,4.6482066869300915,85.65500000000003,70.43617021276594,7.711854103343465,24.06686930091185,8.192908349453996,1.2210018237082063,769,20,153,11,14,239,115,188,0.042,0.769,0.189,0.9786,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,1,10,7,1,0,7,0,13,2,2,1,3,39,30,10,0,6,10,0,6,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,19,9,0,0,8,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,2,8,12,6,26,24,4,25,0,0,1,0,7,7,1,2,15,100,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.11835858669567295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480666936573525,0.12427283361900847,0.0,0.21594223495423856,0.0,0.0,0.11395310067561475,0.0,0.0,0.07393541106174607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726846853115707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447798502393477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564401234358358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131970008663634,0.13643151627583436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602177993725035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453053448414039,0.17329487095775856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725366686187976,0.0,0.10864930177649497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24388829776684934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331229337755493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185093740322296,0.0,0.10709861643776926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311384448405356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798655026106025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808601903296247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224420595381268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16817022684904098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438538087245007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470320529872593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645226650915092,0.0,0.0,0.09665001187540903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449933158709578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337263491824764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223106936981399,0.07771579291211525,0.11916383204770482,0.0,0.2121702224107544,0.0,0.1149658656831026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319253947419256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307639448230164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283278758632297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17231756694424166,0.0,0.0,0.07810483201925003
mentalhealth,throwaway627726,2019/01/09,"Is there a name for this? I looked this up but couldn’t find anything.

Basically, I feel like I am being watched through my own eyes. As if people are somehow able to connect mentally with my brain and see what I see through my vision. Real people that I know. Like they’re just sitting in their bedrooms right now, tuning into my mind and watching me type this. They use it to spy on me and observe what I do in my free time. I like to talk to myself when I’m alone, but I stop when I remember that someone could be watching me that way. Sometimes I don’t look down when changing clothes because I’d prefer that they not see my genitals...

I know this is obviously illogical and more of a gut feeling, but I’ve had it for years and I just kinda feel like it’s true as much as it seems like it can’t be. Is there a name for this?",2.7759283819628666,3.852235982758621,4.0070114942528745,90.17375331564988,74.22988505747126,6.733156498673741,26.60300618921309,7.010146845296331,1.019574358974359,647,23,145,6,13,212,100,174,0.03,0.8009999999999999,0.168,0.9753,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,3,0,9,7,0,0,3,0,14,3,3,1,2,35,27,15,0,4,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,16,7,0,1,9,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,12,25,8,20,21,3,16,0,0,9,0,6,7,0,4,12,100,41,1,0.15651860705972906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16210607337177327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880147736053724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541229011042318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472652928987956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557593264252507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496737170222272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23742153176201625,0.22363384831473374,0.0,0.0,0.14305517127894354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203706624965548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823354267458071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26287241942335593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773394234694305,0.0,0.15803917469097814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150591854506476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170205892093602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815244111789313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17730507031972212,0.13366603522586906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741751958827047,0.14248866143940894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261770783963053,0.0,0.15480090455249151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308565639412224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258037275351493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126725846582373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518182260403755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423718494253552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079285128235764
mentalhealth,katienjwatkins,2019/01/09,"People’s experience with SSRI’s? I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder in like April. I was previously diagnosed with only Generalized Depression and anxiety 2 summers ago. So, basically since then, they have narrowed down my diagnosis and diagnosed me more specifically. Anyways, I was prescribed Depakote ER 500mg  and Zoloft 100mg. I now only take 75mg of Zoloft as prescribed by my doctor daily. I am off depakote completely. 

The issue is, I feel like fucking shit. 95% of the time. I feel stagnant. I feel like there is literally no point in me taking my Zoloft because it does nothing for my depression, and if I FORGET to take it, it fucks with my head extremely badly. If anything, I obsess about suicide more in the past 8 months than ever before in my life. 

Anyone have similar experiences or routes they took that helped the situation? TIA. ",5.1983018867924535,8.033683547169815,6.652176100628933,66.24958490566041,72.01886792452831,10.026163522012581,33.241509433962264,10.203070172399654,4.411848301886793,720,36,108,23,15,244,104,159,0.203,0.7140000000000001,0.083,-0.9635,1,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,2,0,6,11,3,1,4,0,8,12,2,0,1,18,17,11,1,2,3,0,3,3,0,0,8,0,0,1,4,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,8,1,0,4,3,20,3,18,13,3,18,0,3,0,2,4,8,3,3,12,71,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091741651662504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572170959770493,0.0,0.0,0.08749161368156577,0.0,0.10296874878239977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447570611527507,0.0762761758052915,0.0,0.10647374648635527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119313780766834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233147576388652,0.3810034036584489,0.0,0.0,0.2868124566250536,0.1280726488884134,0.10949936318837432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318441346638462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447961687865282,0.0,0.0,0.18980370847070566,0.17878131538742986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313555417202127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841626307438114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386990036380798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059993857104468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838080552291074,0.1833919982004611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987507023869008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006260210924873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19032923924576525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944775149161815,0.08674721357564785,0.10925595256072176,0.0,0.0,0.11828533244684612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844092928418124,0.1035062361426168,0.14064783939908587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686848191275314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822394918100032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296248149949447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902055155227871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,j1smi48,2019/01/09,"I cannot cry I do not know why but I cannot cry. It doesnt matter how upset I get, i cant cry. I can't even make myself cry to let out my emotions. Last time I had a good cry was a year ago when my grandpa died, havn't had one since. I want it so bad because it'll help me, I know it's good to cry but I just cant do it. I end up twitching my body because my body has to do something. I dont know why I am like this but all I want to do is cry.",-2.254545454545454,-1.093323792792793,1.1022113022113018,105.1332678132678,88.72972972972973,4.036363636363637,15.496314496314495,3.1291,-1.4915837837837835,333,6,102,0,11,120,59,111,0.092,0.565,0.343,0.9813,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,19,3,2,2,1,15,26,6,1,2,5,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,3,0,20,3,6,21,1,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,7,63,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946277446205447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913208356097536,0.13014804548126194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371511481470345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8208217305955164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079000993643913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251106155523906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007977591763105,0.09454912521030276,0.0,0.0,0.07050759960685826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577265208953377,0.0,0.0,0.17907425824255432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155250962582045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760016023366342,0.08701578329893743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091594657705975,0.0,0.05215282900307936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125668777576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233680010482542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830499292119072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218163503477767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062246987741375326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592824486244095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926511744371376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874372566521855
mentalhealth,Azrael14609,2019/01/09,"I need somebody I have recently gotten deeper into my depression and I don’t know how to go about seeking help. I am curious if somebody doesn’t mind taking time out of their day(s) to help me go through things and would deal with all my drama. If you don’t mind, just send me a message and I will get back to you ASAP.",2.9149253731343268,4.018691537313433,4.253910447761196,88.43101492537315,73.92537313432838,7.151044776119402,25.34029850746269,7.554174236665415,1.1450322388059695,251,8,54,3,5,83,48,67,0.057,0.826,0.118,0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,1,1,16,14,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,12,0,9,11,1,8,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,2,3,39,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060224344838956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727933580348685,0.276225141610654,0.23076861564355025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998291207403046,0.0,0.304542773622461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35917706217549794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14724789481187878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5410679518862089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19866747422673028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26454958256481736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20145080070141572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780014802835801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562327464343293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033052638127188,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,exiledgod,2019/01/09,"I lost everything I ever earned because I couldn’t be quiet and relax. Several different times in my life. I have no thought to mouth filter. I get told to focus on mindfulness and my breathing on a regular basis. I’m always told to slow down, relax, and stop thinking so much. I work on these things consistently, yet my thoughts just won’t stop running sometimes. I’ve tried being in nature. I’ve tried medication. I’ve tried exercise. The only thing that really helps is staying busy and engaging in intense experiences that do not put me to sleep. Great at parties. A hit at shows and conferences. Yet uninvited to holiday gatherings and unwelcome around the calm and collected. I cannot “just be” and am always on.

I’m fine until the holidays happen, in which I go from having acquired a fair amount of wealth and status to downright losing my home and ending up at some hostel or Airbnb in bumfuck, USA. From the towers to the sewers because I am unable to simply pause and calm down. Highly capable yet unable to just exist. I realize where I went wrong. I could not relax, no matter what. Despite what I had accomplished in my life, I was doomed to fail because I couldn’t relax.

Anyone else? It’s chemical. Genetic. I’m seeing a functional medicine doctor for help.  I don’t want to lose everything again when the would goes on pause in October 2019. I experience this every year.


",3.4551790957134467,6.039219755725192,4.9140458015267185,77.77944216089256,76.63358778625954,8.152906635349384,26.48913681738109,8.950670267944501,2.5861974163241337,1104,43,188,27,26,368,158,262,0.119,0.705,0.17600000000000002,0.9288,2,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,8,12,17,0,0,10,0,18,8,3,0,1,33,34,15,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,1,0,10,12,0,2,4,8,1,4,9,7,0,0,8,2,23,10,35,17,3,39,1,5,1,0,5,21,0,2,13,125,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062804021352304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667197544279961,0.12700619024646734,0.0,0.11034592105192953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22668481782705344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989677041111407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950622994604435,0.0,0.12687283971869026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035482070391131,0.0,0.1097870308373323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121240801452161,0.10443714124388333,0.0,0.22280489888668015,0.24250287126693784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476119013490599,0.0,0.07044628581646269,0.0,0.0,0.1366604424929668,0.0,0.0,0.1096126902509734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16616838206182513,0.13096489644087578,0.12433662356916235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17510567432843074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27734710059248835,0.13531114628903054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248712721719806,0.0,0.0,0.12515886399575613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112093233490018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427309919094223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246086627353299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940852473006836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877580995058237,0.0,0.0,0.1400334755619332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404417153356985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225943212952715,0.0,0.0,0.1321191673699841,0.0,0.2072632804024175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469992712886616,0.07942513655085286,0.0,0.19681229717121984,0.07227895496116918,0.0,0.0,0.2368879657372156,0.0,0.25247121829962976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311166587344285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490720514766073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024046365176597,0.0,0.0,0.08805382903404396,0.13552495429049366,0.0,0.07982273249692708
mentalhealth,DontHaveACrowMan,2019/01/10,"Screaming Voices I apologize if this is not the right place to ask this question but if there is a correct forum please tell me where it is. I just want to know if this is unique to me and my son or if there are other people who understand this very strange and troubling issue:

My son is 7 years old. He is a sensitive, compassionate, kind kid and I really do not think he was just trying to avoid bed time but he said something that shook me. As I put him to bed he said ""daddy, I don't think I can sleep. I keep hearing the voice in my head"".  I asked him what the voice said and he said that he knew it was in his head and it didn't say anything he could understand but it was so loud.

The instant he said that I knew exactly what voice he meant. I heard it too, from the age of 6 to my mid twenties I would hear a unintelligible yelling in my own head. It was worse when the house was quiet but it was always there. It is hard to explain but the best I can do is to ask you to imagine a very large angry man shouting at the top of his voice through a very thin pillow. The words are indistinguishable but the tone is rage. I don't know how to describe it better than that. The only other analogy I can come up with is sitting in a room with someone shouting through the window at you: you can't understand what they are saying but you can tell from the tone that they are angry.

I knew (and my son knew) that the voice was not real. The voice never told me to do anything, it never even said words that could be understood. Something about it makes it clear that the voice is inside my head. Has anyone else experienced a hallucination like this? 

I managed to grow out of hearing the voice but I have had other mental health issues as well. My only hope is to figure out if my son inherited my issues or if this is a common experience in boys his age. 

​

Any advice or anecdotes are appreciated.

Thanks,

Worried Dad",3.0116622778143523,4.478812397959183,4.15181698485846,87.81852863726137,74.25510204081633,6.792758393680053,23.614549045424614,7.359569317364363,0.8150872942725478,1508,43,322,17,31,492,177,392,0.08800000000000001,0.7979999999999999,0.114,0.8917,0,1,2,0,1,0,36.0,0,4,2,3,13,13,1,2,25,0,43,6,5,2,5,67,77,28,0,11,22,5,2,1,0,1,1,27,5,3,33,11,0,2,17,0,1,4,9,5,1,0,23,30,42,8,36,50,2,31,0,0,0,0,51,17,0,11,10,221,75,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791328663575549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673819728416769,0.08774195980795102,0.0983997472207882,0.05506927962816381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056623204482533634,0.08297373452182845,0.13327952868344256,0.0,0.22711652908887084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849836724277888,0.07162036280394223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975722963981366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931212236532805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06764852503961853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053486626013379474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921412658011649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725423092002788,0.0,0.33243599092403386,0.08607811374240203,0.2738115470070511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043156204189927,0.0,0.09344022168552124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535667151149836,0.0,0.07197887904872691,0.0,0.08432836573645412,0.08900914638445505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03956281132787428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054054879633762216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160894550353541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491376948471933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849750461784298,0.0,0.0,0.12317810792748846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614144037234566,0.0,0.084607022079893,0.08889188794808459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140741865303612,0.0907163023319006,0.0,0.0,0.09217314068352588,0.05187795836515149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915660651166752,0.4621840073856344,0.1287973328087823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103863392668655,0.0,0.06861421917727108,0.12468495319036893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156044268987425,0.07455564304208878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377762188979202,0.0,0.0,0.0472201772907684,0.0,0.0,0.07738000463738197,0.0,0.0549802068727086,0.0,0.0,0.2529095794222113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200451316581957,0.04776419120091202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281088110121935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223927424112913,0.08252569222751201,0.05752597585773544,0.0,0.0983997472207882,0.052148562224833606
mentalhealth,psychiatristbpl,2019/01/10,"पेट और गैस रोग के मानसिक कनेक्शन के बारे में जानिए डॉ सत्यकांत त्रिवेदी ...  Dr. Satyakant Trivedi treats Depression, OCD, Stress, Schizophrenia,  Drug addiction, suicidal behavior, anxiety, social phobia, sleep  problems, insomnia, anger in kids and relationship issues etc.  ",8.26846153846154,12.664931615384614,5.098846153846154,70.08365384615385,79.0,9.77948717948718,42.3974358974359,9.2995712137729,6.16077435897436,219,14,26,7,6,60,38,39,0.397,0.603,0.0,-0.967,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045743891419746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21373121662787412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24063665666622455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240016247704909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31159170810415504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916087048552283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26733678563991325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999583803994844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795899817357567,0.2848010968368825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200382516445012,0.0,0.0,0.3056053561952293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,personthatquestions,2019/01/10,"Online school? School makes me even more depressed I have social anxiety and depression and have been taking medication for it. I have always felt miserable at school I could never just relax, i have constant anxiety and i feel like there is weight in my heart whenever I attend school. I don't have any issues, I am a B average student with a great group of friends. I'm not bullied, yet I still can't help feeling this way. I'm a very introverted person and I keep to myself most of the time. I have wanted to do online school for a long time but my mother thinks it isn't going to help me at all. However, i don't have issues talking with people when i need to and can deal with daily life. She wants statistics and data that shows it will help me but its difficult to find it when majority of sites say it won't help my anxiety. I don't know how to convince her that I should do online school instead!",4.648934426229508,5.296495491803281,5.768428961748638,80.8677254098361,69.49180327868852,8.94153005464481,27.271857923497265,9.075114841892004,2.0533792349726765,717,22,143,13,12,239,106,183,0.16,0.777,0.062,-0.922,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,1,5,0,22,4,1,2,2,30,36,11,0,5,4,1,4,1,1,3,2,1,0,1,9,9,1,1,6,2,0,2,8,4,0,0,2,5,24,5,17,30,4,16,0,3,0,0,14,4,0,1,10,99,33,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908523183137392,0.0,0.0,0.07425089398676238,0.0,0.2505832340198251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799234140669368,0.0,0.0871769229031348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256698715892646,0.1880851803884374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211697383086807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041644064383313,0.07800320390637665,0.10483662841354237,0.0,0.09979492620838554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435759376722977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062053479795159225,0.0,0.0,0.12037903643534704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938710294943234,0.2927429379522546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22792568935833496,0.0,0.09705040911411712,0.0,0.0,0.06000631147410518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712199655398824,0.05334324562731207,0.0,0.0,0.09662704581812477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728831603437393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999440034223952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096076588024148,0.08421173400235768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569650748108346,0.09533786377073047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868298729231218,0.0,0.6630183482587132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130238097450357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871968672700457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209502423814517,0.08776036262002634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996261121596759,0.0,0.0,0.12733561803339227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009069761780543,0.12880262539002166,0.08666754646361245,0.0,0.13296033259484116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cato4797,2019/01/10,"I'm terrified to go back to school I feel like I'm surrounded by people who don't like me. Like my entire friend group has hated me -- i've made so many mistakes and I feel like everywhere I look I'm reminded of that. And I'm so afraid to go back. I don't feel comfortable where I live anymore, in my apartment. People I don't who don't like me come and go freely, all the time. It seems like they're more welcome here now than I myself am. And I don't know what to do anymore and if I even want to keep trying. I'm just so depressed, all the time. This doesn't give away a lot, I know, but I've all but given up on life at the moment.",-0.07258551307847227,1.6131743169014108,2.160080482897385,97.64140845070429,84.0,5.465593561368209,17.88933601609658,6.5431188927421005,-0.3255227364185109,491,11,123,5,14,166,78,142,0.099,0.78,0.122,0.0208,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,0,10,13,1,1,4,0,9,1,0,1,3,24,31,11,0,3,4,0,3,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,6,0,0,4,6,4,0,0,2,4,16,9,13,29,5,18,0,1,1,0,6,8,0,3,12,71,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31358095541344605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853803265362722,0.2431348092619814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618720560529124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616935332480004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104422067384683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23981690563571734,0.2258901166217941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221459231141639,0.0,0.0,0.1516617599294326,0.2695517700376939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608878892266284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052453703884712,0.0,0.0,0.1737727685288223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166911051881713,0.4634314248245955,0.0,0.13960320246903055,0.0,0.1327622851542256,0.0,0.0,0.13440904642528068,0.0,0.1495959059075553,0.0,0.16028629573439868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21921013556427293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000335510824082,0.0,0.14392624637274484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437612923050584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733798885444117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325014426800596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheOtherSiderV1,2019/01/10,"I feel like I’m lying to myself Occasionally I’ll have some event take place that makes me think maybe I have anxiety or some disorder. Which one I feel it is at the time isn’t really the topic. But whenever I think “maybe I have anxiety” or some other thing like that I almost immediately have another voice in my head that makes me think I’m just lying or that says “you don’t have anxiety (or etc) you’re just pretending you do, you’re being a bad person and you’re just trying to get attention.” Whenever I feel that I like someone the same voice yells at me for liking someone. Me or the voice in my head gets angry at me and it’s as though I fight with myself over every feeling. I think I’ve written to much but I hope someone can tell me what this is. Or better how I can get rid of it.",1.7357085828343308,3.511877580838327,3.8729580838323368,87.12508582834336,78.5808383233533,7.3275848303393225,20.714171656686627,8.238735603445708,0.956553213572854,624,16,136,12,15,214,85,167,0.103,0.79,0.107,0.4118,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,5,8,1,0,5,0,13,2,2,3,0,32,31,13,0,1,11,0,4,4,0,0,0,5,0,1,13,3,0,0,9,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,9,24,6,13,29,6,9,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,11,6,90,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380453352406946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011578603648842,0.3066646064213859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156995778383452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181790387605978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314399331375528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902541306713074,0.0,0.0,0.1125834778691193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702560244697974,0.19092116772396348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094381346375096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27427231808623737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271818678363126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26112657520007515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783893145843212,0.0,0.26848533158162513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982285741141022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054667423309963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667479903301785,0.1396080130055982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560257184453206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062626911562704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396560203084815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046816737608684,0.0,0.11679274153783804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877344965646627,0.3424819177017998,0.13128431233579732,0.0,0.0779168792764179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072151752235844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psionix6,2019/01/10,"Everything is too real. One day I woke up and my vision was weird, objects in my room seemed different and everything felt a little off. I saw my family and friends and I recognized them and I knew them but it felt like I was seeing them for the first time. It felt and still feels I'm seeing everything for the first time. Everything feels almost too real, I also think about things differently. I think about my existence differently, I think about the world completely different. I feel like I am extremely aware of my existence itself. I feel driven almost insane because of how little I know about my existence and the universe. I often feel suicidal but I've never made an attempt or plan to commit suicide. I have no idea what's wrong with me, but it feels like I'm trapped on a different planet .",3.083995098039217,5.738986921568627,4.412577614379089,80.45847426470591,78.47712418300654,8.269444444444442,24.595179738562088,9.017664075816787,2.387117973856209,641,23,114,17,16,211,84,153,0.173,0.7290000000000001,0.098,-0.9469,5,1,0,0,0,2,14.0,0,0,3,5,10,6,0,0,7,0,5,0,0,2,2,37,28,13,2,0,4,0,9,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,6,8,0,0,16,0,0,1,2,2,0,3,10,12,24,4,14,18,0,16,0,0,3,0,4,8,0,5,10,78,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19924660167514274,0.0,0.0,0.07956086892721342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064722915090987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431173571101598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641618128455814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5197212199275149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576551765994757,0.0,0.09378884628429167,0.0,0.3018260650795978,0.14214912176352668,0.286573510663502,0.0,0.0,0.16924963121146125,0.0,0.0,0.07686452137586998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231033814328097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467624436651751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581507819293474,0.19942710536652594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413836675192766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673161762039032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741594121953268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264792493245171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855881054751694,0.09057053857234916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945159610267323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21764840983346886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609569831895308,0.1912445241204994,0.0,0.0,0.11602501798764513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877499036736868,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scyracat,2019/01/10,"I want to be sick *this may be offensive to people with mental disorders*


I have this huge desire to gain a mental illness, so I act out symptoms and pretend it's real...I act out OCD, masochism( non sexual), schizophrenia (like I listen to schizophrenia simulations)..I don't understand why.. I told my therapist about wanting a mental illness, but apparently I have too many issues and symptoms and can't be pinpointed to exactly what it might be...I feel like giving up if I don't get a diagnosis...I feel so lost And I just want to make everything worse...for example I do have an eating disorder, I'm nearing underweight, and I've been starving myself soo much to at least be diagnosed with Anorexia. I don't know anymore...",3.4344314381270884,5.826152398550729,5.2239130434782615,76.51690635451507,75.73913043478261,8.593979933110367,30.180602006688968,9.265573868473778,3.1711966555183952,573,27,100,15,13,195,85,138,0.152,0.736,0.111,-0.7561,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,1,0,4,0,15,7,0,1,1,24,29,9,0,5,3,0,2,2,0,2,6,1,0,0,5,9,1,0,4,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,3,3,12,2,15,20,2,8,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,3,2,64,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478108311733768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584093821760641,0.0,0.0,0.35774313524324663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597002035217762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026708473187885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782897425516748,0.11149757761954893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154096601448857,0.14971809393468455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16289819499736385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577286619248634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524973942595627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037058086720336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041790006130734,0.15823209945850136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4718503736155682,0.16556729697136732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473057908989576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082003917240496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764364188465054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244362888969207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812111493332039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913309594204285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624760330500735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761652086610948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083033779899692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jphuffinstuff,2019/01/10,"Aaagh i feel like I'm in fucking limbo I'm taking a break from school tomorrow but I feel like I'm taking advantage of this so I can fuck around at home and avoid doing things I need to do. Whenever I contact someone for help I feel like I'm burdening them or that my problems aren't significant enough to require that kind of help. Like I'm talking to people who I know have been suicidal about shit that sounds fucking trivial to them, what the fuck why can't my brain just pick a fucking side",3.323235294117648,4.821573039215687,4.306029411764708,86.89963235294121,73.50980392156862,7.452941176470588,27.45588235294117,8.07648339933343,1.6735647058823524,398,15,82,6,8,129,67,102,0.274,0.5579999999999999,0.168,-0.9461,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,2,2,4,15,6,1,3,0,7,7,2,1,0,14,24,4,1,2,3,0,3,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,7,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,1,4,11,6,12,23,1,6,0,0,0,5,7,4,6,1,5,46,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655842094399536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870495028414003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468961081461556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21565112377504106,0.30469155648159896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6571536847928294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905825593196712,0.0,0.14260469797534014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480446435859799,0.0781310490088305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27782169148631225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541473740660254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856042457057272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603424249560547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388019579104294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593197868480665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045730442322848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550719304530652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137831906198596,0.11426813320890365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444917631894613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282832498544564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,burgleyourturtz,2019/01/10,"What should I expect from my first appointment with a psychiatrist? (Currently seeing a psychologist weekly.) I'm scheduling an appointment with a psychiatrist. I have been seeing a psychologist every week for 2 months. I was prescribed Prozac by my physician but had a terrible psychotic reaction to it. Now that I'm leveled back out my therapist wants me to try medication again and has referred me to a psychiatrist. 

Basically, what can I expect from this first appointment? Will we just meet once an they use my psychologist's information to provide a diagnosis? Or will it be entirely separate? Will I have to see them multiple times or will it be this one time until we follow up on whatever they may prescribe? Is there anything you guys recommend or wish you'd known in advance? ",6.364136363636362,8.627803192857144,7.410779220779222,64.59967532467536,67.07142857142857,11.948051948051946,35.58441558441558,11.567385478589935,5.199,637,32,100,24,11,214,93,140,0.031,0.91,0.059,0.5588,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,2,3,3,5,1,0,0,9,0,17,3,0,1,0,21,26,6,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,3,3,18,0,16,14,0,20,0,0,3,0,10,5,0,4,13,80,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716934728534938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043177678253734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757887413478777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549392507693887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20658704020766755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21018349893703508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653497166412468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221954767943956,0.14138030018202885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4987787419309606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422478689092321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24332007497013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416533018900385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18019852772793787,0.0,0.0,0.12306165765037955,0.0,0.3347178795583668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23992644411685474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,haveyouseanthis,2019/01/10,"I feel like if I had the means to kill myself I would’ve done it years ago I can’t afford a therapist, and I can’t afford a gun or anything for a painless scuicide. The only thing I have is some rope, but I’m too much of a pussy to do it because it’ll be more painful than a bullet in the brain.  I feel like I’m chained to a fucking train going further and further into depression but there’s no way off.  I just want out of this fucking rollercoaster of disappointment.",2.2941000000000003,3.646460810000004,3.916999999999998,89.24350000000004,75.9,6.6000000000000005,26.5,7.1686216300943375,1.1561000000000003,371,14,81,4,8,124,68,100,0.218,0.7,0.08199999999999999,-0.9476,2,0,0,1,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,3,0,9,0,9,4,1,0,0,14,18,6,1,2,5,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,2,9,2,12,14,3,10,0,2,0,2,0,6,2,3,4,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193535083910826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966579155589651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309105592683332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24372686427196896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18804605779191688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22342590584823335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22078694701631515,0.3119479155016917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036824475923918,0.0,0.0,0.12408114476272054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415481894222901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21332859993170628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378237931183981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049660340387473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604869841424647,0.23231696753843725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534962709819786,0.14504778544130587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877583384199265,0.17329903841782954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509433578585896,0.0,0.0,0.140596426220565
mentalhealth,lilrr55,2019/01/10,i feel like i’ve changes so much and i don’t like it i feel like i’ve changed so much negatively. i don’t feel like the same person i used to be and i hate it to much. ,-3.194065040650404,-1.6306308536585343,0.02621951219512297,107.04550813008132,101.43902439024393,3.7089430894308943,14.150406504065039,5.46131890053228,-1.4219788617886182,129,3,39,1,6,45,20,41,0.093,0.655,0.252,0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,7,8,4,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,6,4,2,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4456783265378545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31953203968416977,0.4514639794720967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20797269885573094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116506800202534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645547007290401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839309550411259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819334715951076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zethantheGOAT,2019/01/10,"Negative thoughts taking control out of nowhere...? Hey everyone, sort of bland/simple question here:

Lately I have been having these episodes where it feels like my brain (or I guess in further context, the negative side of it) takes full control...

By that I mean; I’ll be doing completely fine, then all of a sudden I’m flooded with thoughts of hopelessness, depression, despair, and more recently... suicide. To sum up what the state is like; I lose all interest in life as a whole, and for some reason see suicide as the only way out. While these thoughts are flooding me, I can’t seem to do anything- almost as if I’m not in control..? I know some great coping mechanisms to try to “calm me down” but it’s as if the idea of calming down is unrealistic when it’s all happening. Basically, my mind takes control for a certain amount of time and then randomly, the thoughts leave.. and I’m in a good mood again.

Does anyone know what this may be due to? Is there some sort of disorder this could be?

Also: I’m going to be going back to my therapist very soon, just wanted some opinions on this for the meantime... things have been pretty bad lately.",4.726900684931508,6.147642200913242,5.158170662100456,82.45999571917811,69.91324200913242,8.21472602739726,31.03909817351598,8.660442795831766,2.4510385844748863,898,38,170,15,16,286,133,219,0.122,0.769,0.109,-0.61,0,0,0,0,0,3,44.0,0,0,0,5,9,15,0,0,10,0,18,2,1,5,4,47,40,17,2,4,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,13,7,0,4,12,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,6,2,11,9,34,28,11,31,0,4,1,0,2,14,0,16,15,119,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110355097473022,0.0,0.0,0.08813146494529465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705839350857473,0.0,0.0906899076251869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847413869306963,0.09201716296168097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302601744709207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554858818357845,0.0,0.49442029042892405,0.08799029039172583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492001489400836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630528924871734,0.0,0.09644175781485123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530627684418736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572331732256103,0.0787309798813773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526488720094095,0.09243531927352913,0.0,0.12150218223223673,0.12140401216520855,0.0,0.09745454370620016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440883015146614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113235007869272,0.0,0.2486336779020653,0.11669193242182885,0.0,0.0,0.07784155079567608,0.1076818845372568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329199782704232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004632402306205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127634905744377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381640706369796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211882479724104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345561482467407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133098226537869,0.10881484142559134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781968096854433,0.10032713761042396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410943150857982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485829316477428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795732119952627,0.07321577551849902,0.0,0.0,0.34996408851337296,0.06426183463952691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482244170209228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093125085169544,0.0650021819643576,0.08747616143030247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230407374124747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamunrelenting,2019/01/10,I just don't know what to do. It seems like I ruin everything. I've become increasingly paranoid at work. One person has told me that two people specifically are fucking with my head. I'm not convinced it's not everyone. I don't know what to do. I think I just ruined a good friendship by being crazy. I hate everything. It hurts so much. ,0.8414542483660128,3.370294485294117,2.9743137254901946,87.19552287581702,89.44117647058823,5.963398692810457,20.79084967320261,7.3871296695380915,0.9790241830065364,267,9,53,5,9,90,49,68,0.273,0.616,0.111,-0.9013,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,2,0,1,0,7,2,1,0,0,9,15,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,5,0,2,1,0,8,3,5,13,2,2,0,3,0,1,2,1,1,1,1,35,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264597736893819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289293460880125,0.4306388435444292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22148822592426126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20094867875763966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365360516412328,0.2458786167531251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564757810449387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26333425247433395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704688529209815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611916577897774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623458843194684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609488837729125,0.20919237053421613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181050047189488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351345111138587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289293460880125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340352454556445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17441738984237748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aidan1478,2019/01/10,"Waypoint Mental Health Centre? Hello! I have recently learned that in my province  (Ontario Canada) there is a psychiatric hospital called Waypoint Centre. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with this place and what it’s like staying there. My friend is currently admitted and I’m really worried about them. I stayed in a psych ward at a general hospital once and it was a nightmare. Their 72 hours are almost upC but the doctor said that the options at this point are immediate discharge, add 72 hours (they’re a transfer from a general hospital), or add 14 days. I don’t think they need the 14 days I think they’re safe now and they had a crisis worker evaluate them saying they were safe to go home. The only thing stopping them is the doctor signing off on it. At this point they feel like they don’t need to be there and myself and their parents believe they are okay to go home. I was wondering how strict Waypoint is with the form 1 renewal or upgrade to form 3? They’re not violent and don’t want to hurt themselves anymore and have the loose ends of a safety plan started. ",4.0268474215842645,6.1832105071770345,4.6904864433811815,82.1147939925572,73.11483253588517,7.898032961190856,28.835991493886233,8.680891452615391,2.4023107921318454,872,36,158,17,18,279,119,209,0.078,0.7909999999999999,0.131,0.8599,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,11,2,6,8,1,0,15,1,19,3,0,1,0,36,33,13,0,4,5,1,1,2,1,0,3,2,2,0,10,12,0,3,7,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,7,3,20,6,17,25,2,24,0,1,0,0,18,10,0,7,12,101,30,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589646951389794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228915676388516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459033731508793,0.09489333854095874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290151891611148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857764054773497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750466762297361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778149977445486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020099728232447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327528704793114,0.0,0.0,0.06862031992305488,0.09695304025139843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048511442407143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154257087479136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425604596159047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722614144447418,0.0,0.26729895923983243,0.0,0.1452830428200884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326045490811496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367662845013734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20125820479354492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452938799617948,0.0,0.10321547502670493,0.0,0.0,0.150692675630743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417906821512764,0.0,0.2565843656092809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694090542820873,0.0,0.133999725604588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290936695237455,0.10792403059037743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605800911422402,0.2893029451085631,0.0,0.11346173047201615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901613575949083,0.17391818596210604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004675127776195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943488438017849,0.0,0.1378226358477022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuperbValue,2019/01/10,Need help for wife I need advice on what to do. My wife’s mental health has declined dramatically over the past several months. I thought it was because our severe lack of sleeps at night because we just had twins several months ago. We have a second child who is several years older but has always been a good sleeper so we never had this problems. My wife starts to get very angry at me and at herself. Mostly at herself and she starts to try to hurt herself by hitting with random things. Should I take her to a clinic or call her doctor or something else? ,3.854454638124359,5.761105862385322,4.397553516819574,85.10552497451582,72.94495412844037,6.312334352701327,25.87257900101937,6.937597516519254,1.1549319062181451,445,15,83,4,9,141,80,109,0.145,0.8059999999999999,0.048,-0.9086,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,10,4,1,0,1,19,18,6,0,5,4,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,0,16,1,15,11,2,16,0,1,0,0,17,6,0,4,10,61,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301552386660438,0.12973407115281094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177832787675465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784321909031263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944389025844046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979961367138386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222600632666263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646397199446317,0.0,0.0,0.12275486779081735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555675548854106,0.0,0.0,0.09809806217174688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667508136089756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749050085780205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336368782407784,0.0,0.0,0.2170394080307413,0.1128772974069316,0.0,0.0,0.13734340008627213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397115401505422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004109951568913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6613538590844213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645978615372834,0.0,0.0,0.1126705294500003,0.0,0.0,0.2071803577513717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100400624252546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723115487252182,0.0,0.0,0.11618880032714805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936482084026027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075745249846373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942472361834618
mentalhealth,Fritochipteeth,2019/01/10,"Why do I only shower and maintain myself when I have to see others? I can either be someone who showers every day of the week, or someone who showers once every week if not for longer. There really is no in between. When summer comes around and I’m out of school I hardly shower at all, or maintain myself, or do my eyebrows and nails... it feels very immature to me and kind of sad. This is how I’ve always been, even when young. Any explanation for this?",1.99973137973138,4.210861769230772,3.6544322344322353,86.87112332112333,79.65934065934066,5.363125763125763,21.1001221001221,6.42735559955562,0.4352481074481069,355,10,68,3,9,118,64,91,0.07,0.93,0.0,-0.7377,4,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,1,1,16,12,12,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,3,8,1,12,10,2,13,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,4,8,53,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966765838063596,0.0,0.0,0.1550097284970256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20291847641496866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963535622797964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470050150425487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505548544040823,0.0,0.3841052823759653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525532937596634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20419304065004776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373685867268986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427529081281631,0.0,0.173361674562856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460267556695886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306914853901789,0.1816418465744112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862724029629305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807766247680935,0.0,0.0,0.365685835902377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205683994916042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadespades,2019/01/10,How can I get rid of side effects caused by meds? I was advised by doctor that I need to stay on the meds but side effects are make it hard for me to want to keep taking them ,4.623846153846156,3.035229974358977,5.327820512820511,91.59634615384618,69.76923076923077,7.8000000000000025,27.19230769230769,3.1291,0.5323230769230767,135,3,34,0,2,44,31,39,0.043,0.918,0.039,-0.0387,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,5,0,9,9,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,8,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,21,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29718924034186145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961092633161741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114652075924745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25915462317828764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571417905262474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931089886284114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6426908098066162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145111647735788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083536981328329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21751646096689795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063574496799258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mromcl,2019/01/10,"I got into a fight with my mom a few minutes ago over me arguing with her unconsciously, in a dazed state. Is this a mental thing or am I just “disobedient” for refusing to apologize for something that I literally can NOT control? **preface, also sorry for shitty mobile formatting:** My mom and I generally have a good relationship, though we fight sometimes. Nothing bad or abusive emotionally or physically, but it’s like today she snapped. Also, I have several medically diagnosed mental illnesses (depression, adhd, ocd, bulimia, binge eating disorder, bdd, and social anxiety) I am getting treated for most if not all of these at the moment and my mom is very supportive, but I don’t know what to tell her now.

I have a habit of falling asleep as soon as I get home from school, along with having very little energy even with a sufficient amount of sleep throughout the day. I’m not a cranky or irritable person, so it’s not a case of that. When I wake up, according to my mom I start talking gibberish, or just about random general topics, like today was apparently about horses, which I cannot recall. So to start off, my mom says that I started arguing with her about taking my contacts out (sometimes I accidentally fall asleep with them on mid day, but always take them out at night.) I cannot recall ANYTHING happening, as I just remember waking up to my mom yelling that she was done. I didn’t know what I did and she said “you know what you did” or something along the lines of that. She proceeds to tell me that she is no buying me any more contacts because I can’t be responsible enough to take them out (I cannot stand being seen without contacts in. Woo social anxiety & bdd.) Then my grandma decides to chime in and say that I am the most disobedient child that she has ever seen. I don’t reply to this because she has been in and out of the hospital, so I don’t want to hurt her by making her yell. So I try to explain to my mom that after I wake up, I literally cannot remember anything that I say or do, and cannot control that behavior. She and I then argue for 10 minutes about me not apologizing for something that I cannot help. She compared this to her example: I trip somebody and say “oops, sorry. I wasn’t fully awake.” In my opinion that is not a fair comparison. One person has no clue what they have done or said until somebody tells them, and the other person has to be aware of themselves tripping another person. I’m rambling, but I’m freaking out. My family is falling apart, and a few times my mom has told me that I am ripping the family apart (if I am, I’m not the sole cause. My brother has low functioning autism and diabetes, which adds to the family stress. I just want help. I don’t see my two therapists until next month.

**TL;DR: Mom not accepting me not apologizing for something I did not consciously do. I don’t recall anything that happened. Family being torn apart. Called “disobedient” for arguing in my barely awake state of mind. Also kudos if you actually read all of that, I’m terrible at formatting events in chronological order.",4.361927878965922,6.065180126689192,5.793657461809641,76.44705346651,71.21283783783784,9.066745005875443,29.59253819036428,9.54385415503706,2.9000852232667453,2433,99,442,58,46,821,256,592,0.138,0.8,0.061,-0.9923,1,0,4,0,3,0,81.0,1,3,5,2,21,20,6,1,20,0,50,11,6,4,3,84,80,43,0,5,30,10,0,2,0,0,4,8,1,5,30,28,1,3,9,1,1,5,27,14,0,2,16,11,82,6,75,60,9,61,0,3,3,0,70,28,0,15,26,325,112,2,0.0,0.06973475725415502,0.057434983593591026,0.0,0.07073349631163503,0.0,0.05217230888641853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120140925766386,0.04897292192560579,0.06377047103341373,0.0,0.040024110574295016,0.06171566674007024,0.09004938551771945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530046414265838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049142316705112085,0.0717561647172328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009857498858313,0.0,0.0,0.06046134323627503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202405788042898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591452528931784,0.0,0.050692602156380384,0.05973761947315094,0.0,0.0,0.06745409580141078,0.0,0.0,0.12046028180102847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060224399948516125,0.0,0.06620509857133808,0.0,0.06081399991394941,0.0,0.03887384487794586,0.053238637951968835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193686329407167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061499680540799136,0.0,0.0,0.04936563558658683,0.0470725342828918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040923648810306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889989661628799,0.0,0.05903738499166005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300658467687648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703718500776654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750815503339132,0.058989192177903015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0392868491135199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929124627961978,0.1186260463452526,0.0,0.05942780032727934,0.6203831136780646,0.04697831213698229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259404296794728,0.05523238598110313,0.0,0.05647393673302883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03988236107769068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20556321932808425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058871945385304734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318933720124909,0.13334479044930342,0.0,0.111971102232062,0.18721867163762876,0.0,0.059565432501109475,0.04690062632006265,0.0,0.0,0.06649054776585138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889852322333105,0.11999259710192982,0.0,0.18124095274672544,0.11642021371240248,0.1317689873240352,0.12497577764754815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741936989234844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678911187691955,0.0,0.0,0.13275720269278166,0.04730623793122792,0.15432826203889632,0.0,0.0,0.06833637335399544,0.039101323193791525,0.0,0.057825738965667936,0.0,0.03431941746804625,0.0,0.11157724663120512,0.056239447524243986,0.0,0.039959372886829915,0.0,0.05749377758046846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712475768475654,0.06942960877735435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056735101177037464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daay1812,2019/01/10,"Is it normal that I’m running out of people to actually like, as I’ve had so many bad experiences with different races, ethnicities, religious groups and nationalities. It takes sometimes one bad experience with a group of people if they really piss me off for me to have hatred for them and consider them my enemies",13.9401724137931,9.2327675,14.030344827586207,46.12413793103451,55.03448275862069,18.49655172413793,47.96551724137931,15.903189008614273,7.401903448275862,257,11,42,10,2,90,47,58,0.258,0.706,0.036000000000000004,-0.9473,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,3,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,7,5,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,6,1,11,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,1,1,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.25012030209993075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280140893622428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26778802170937593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5014381484386672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521947609441428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598567758054701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511280903196396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368139724381554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553843376978562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641979057932925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25349584175326473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927122319642922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cursed_p0tato,2019/01/10,"It's not life that's the problem, it's me I usually hate having to put on a fake persona but you know, looks like i'll have to. Well, i heard the truth from my mum a few days ago - It's your fault no one likes you cause you're depressed all the time. And you know what? I agree. No one wants to hang out around a depressed person. I'd originally (and stupidly) thought that i don't have to put on a fake happy mask for anyone. Yeah, that ended up great. Now i have no friends.  


When the school starts again, im gonna try my best to just smile and laugh along with others. Even if it hurts on the inside. Cause no one wants to see that shit. I just hope people will even consider hanging out with me after i was a depressed shit for months. And I hope i learn to act soon, cause im not the best at faking emotions.   


I guess i just needed to vent because it hurts when you realise your life is shit because of yourself.. but i'm gonna try my best to turn things around this year. I've decided my new years resolution is to become a likeable person. I'll be less depressed when i actually have friends. ",0.6027272727272752,2.734740389610394,1.9590545454545456,97.47458181818182,84.4978354978355,4.734961038961039,19.196709956709963,5.927762680638738,-0.3389464588744584,854,23,198,6,25,273,126,231,0.228,0.527,0.245,0.8481,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,6,0,3,14,30,5,0,12,1,11,5,3,4,2,37,29,10,0,7,8,1,0,2,2,3,2,1,0,2,13,11,0,0,5,0,0,5,7,16,1,3,3,3,24,14,27,22,6,32,0,6,2,0,12,9,3,4,20,121,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.09547405551899643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672592213871512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840937261463087,0.0,0.0,0.17418998912117692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928012555065486,0.10805243858278413,0.0,0.0,0.3080192881912394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015143008522086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309627990369407,0.0,0.33706483469567633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005259967282187,0.0866538677863835,0.0,0.0,0.1292398253432428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117607001122513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786479810133796,0.10777764662582498,0.0,0.0,0.10414849491170873,0.0,0.09659303020734038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19434692006519533,0.0,0.0,0.20947143316233852,0.0,0.21135985226089327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075364758453874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820925692383054,0.0955956882534172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215779947303906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809195198682849,0.0,0.0,0.07254433100976132,0.0,0.0944908485917219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19888910125073989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782732889549853,0.17085365910144662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361606696603354,0.0,0.196704884053274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990154963717714,0.07796281501257414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30128247796470736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924899301838988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499804940985213,0.0,0.0,0.07767104478432632,0.0570490973220978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284876731216452,0.1064177328708894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775279427115796,0.0,0.11541269637989432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796652787797192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600665953677506
mentalhealth,vh1classicvapor,2019/01/10,"My experience with TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) has been great! [USA] Hi all!  I've been getting TMS therapy (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) for the past couple of weeks.  I never thought I'd say this after struggling so hard for the past couple of years, but I'm starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Short bio:  Bipolar disorder took EVERYTHING from me.  I lost my house, car, and credit in a mania-fueled bankruptcy, lost my girlfriend after moving in with my mom in a different state, and lost my self-employment business in the midst of the chaos.  I've attempted suicide twice.  I've been hospitalized several times.  I've been unable to work and am on SSDI disability.  I've gained close to 60 pounds, mostly from Seroquel.

**After eight sessions of TMS, I'm able to do things I've never thought possible, and weren't possible with a large variety of medications and various methods of therapy.**  

My current medications are 300 mg Wellbutrin (bupropion) and 10 mg Abilify (aripiprazole).  I've also been doing DBT therapy which has made a huge difference.  But nothing like what TMS is doing for me.

Here's my journal entries for my journey.

**Day 2:** I've had my first two treatments of TMS these past couple of days. I won't be feeling a ""difference"" for a couple of weeks but these treatments have been a great start. It's an odd feeling, kind of like having a woodpecker poking at your skull (but it's not painful).

**Day 4:** They're slowly dialing up the power. We started at 80%, now up to 90%, going up to 95% tomorrow I believe. More power means a more intense magnetic treatment, which also means a bit more discomfort during the treatment. It's like a mildly annoying scalp massage. It can be painful if they go up too fast, so I'm on a slow taper up.

I'm starting to set some goals as to what I want to do after treatment. I'd love to stop taking medications, get back to exercising and lose 30 pounds (TMS revenge body waddup), and eventually get back to work. I'm thinking I will work some short-term contracts to ease back into work.

It's important to remember these are long-term goals, they don't have to be done now or as soon as the treatment is over, or be done all at one time. Missing a goal doesn't mean complete failure either, it only means there is another opportunity to try again or try something different. Being on disability has been such a blessing, it has allowed me to live a good life while recovering, but at the same time, I'm more than ready to move on!

**Day 6:** 110% treatment. Getting up in the morning is becoming a lot easier. I'm also able to take on more activities in the day without getting tired or taking a nap.

I got up at 7:15 am this morning (normally an unthinkable time for me), made breakfast, went to TMS, went to volunteer, and am going to therapy next. The days are definitely getting fuller.

I've also noticed a decrease in anxiety. I'm able to handle public places like loud bars and grocery stores easier.

Looking forward to more results with more treatments!

**Day 8:** First session at full 120% power. I almost got up at 5:30 am today and felt fully rested, but decided to sleep some more. I made it through the afternoon with no nap! Naps were often a method of checking out for me because I didn’t have the energy or desire to do anything else. It may not sound like much but that’s progress for me!

This is never a fun topic to discuss but it’s the honest truth. They asked today if I had any thoughts of self-harm. After struggling with this on a daily/hourly basis for nearly a decade, I’m happy to report they have disappeared. What a relief!

I took my first trip to Walmart today since starting TMS. Walmart was almost a guaranteed panic attack for me, because it's so busy. No anxiety this time though!",3.0427915899324773,5.531503291436465,4.4833241252302045,80.82943984039291,77.54972375690608,7.447636586863108,27.873235113566608,8.430304187100639,2.3579187231430327,2989,129,535,62,72,991,338,724,0.128,0.754,0.118,-0.4963,8,0,3,0,0,1,133.0,1,1,4,21,20,31,2,4,42,0,52,16,4,7,6,81,107,38,1,5,19,1,4,5,1,3,9,3,0,0,26,21,2,1,13,5,3,14,13,13,0,7,31,10,35,18,104,68,23,107,1,5,2,1,14,39,0,17,59,342,61,11,0.1617380660429439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797154008451544,0.0,0.0,0.17245583064025125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03666247704793718,0.05653215481593045,0.08248611855086517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04436554912566525,0.0,0.05040108623870833,0.06133346646305862,0.0,0.1243665892920155,0.0,0.06572934924088279,0.05954232894331375,0.0,0.06074113822708939,0.0,0.0,0.058858692775683924,0.05988484337890813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056526428350182685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238613458359114,0.0,0.24338456879645215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253091397630704,0.061788612004706325,0.0,0.0,0.11034279721270332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04503713346784729,0.0,0.04775064003756168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048453248276231965,0.05273695456387698,0.0,0.0,0.054519750584298164,0.0,0.051764635772329634,0.0,0.0,0.13757431635219874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16900292802988026,0.0,0.09191947018739964,0.04521940539541769,0.0862378043120402,0.11887785919858515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057391059603277075,0.048295179526906463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309313846663488,0.062208004281711526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614176895318665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03808012640300026,0.13169508227217233,0.0,0.047605891831551,0.04771103294929425,0.045273080234414224,0.06031450830233202,0.17655620496078486,0.04583463998057855,0.04865830642648528,0.15304046875266678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349068920794245,0.0,0.16293408583072103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314188939225546,0.0,0.1146013119725344,0.0396320294539861,0.0,0.12474236736781348,0.0,0.05733675603834156,0.0,0.05282298815970488,0.051730678822656015,0.061379953394191826,0.0,0.0,0.03653263312158267,0.04100302914068146,0.1147338037674858,0.06325492402943572,0.0,0.0,0.15439728508163006,0.0,0.0,0.0563272849407676,0.0,0.0,0.12155691191495982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107256662499476,0.0,0.0,0.04287353393599272,0.0,0.0,0.04296143277940817,0.0,0.11248538442953757,0.06090599257278395,0.0,0.044597133195260236,0.0,0.05395162377998214,0.0,0.0,0.04150462168227787,0.0,0.0,0.1907983926774217,0.0,0.0,0.04507342178769745,0.0,0.11272249581809453,0.0,0.058971731033536576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160689711362015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24661543217644136,0.0,0.035817194775017325,0.034545074007815424,0.052968942899392565,0.12840195812080624,0.15718461162118932,0.0619647047618972,0.15330877507303495,0.0,0.11979796165929395,0.07320635338511425,0.0,0.05266486302126297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031799100613641135,0.0,0.08649101379326574,0.0,0.0,0.09995520507076912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051969908009683916,0.0,0.15699631782711032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034718003913621086
mentalhealth,reservoirmonkey,2019/01/10,"Can stress/depression/anxiety be linked to memory loss? I work in retail so obviously over the festive period we've had a very busy time, so stress at work has been really high recently. On top of this I have been suffering with anxiety for around a year, i've never seen a doctor about it but it comes and goes in patches and at the minute its really bad. Ive started to notice that my memory has all of a sudden got really, really bad. 

​

I was in a supermarket the other day on my dinner break at work, and i couldn't remember how i got there at all. I've never really experienced it but after that I felt really on edge all day and couldnt wait to get home and curled up in a ball. I was hoping it was a one off but the same has happened today. I just spent 3 hours on my bed in my bedroom and my girlfriend asked me what i've been doing.. and i have no idea. I can't remember where the 3 hours have gone. 

​

Panic is starting to set it that I have some other condition developing or some kind of issues with my brain, as any memories I try and recall feel extremely distant. If i try and remember my breakfast this morning it feels like im remembering something from months ago, nothing is clear.

​

On top of all this my emotions feel really dulled, i cant smile or maintain a conversation with anyone, i just want to be alone and even seeing my girlfriend is making me feel nothing. I've never seen a doctor about my issues although i have now booked in for next week as this week has been too much.

  
Does anyone have any advice or helpful words they can give as i'm really starting to worry about my long term memory or mental health.",5.489746268656717,5.5836075492537365,6.687574626865673,76.9495708955224,67.53731343283582,10.16268656716418,28.39179104477612,10.008157457239328,2.592226865671641,1319,39,258,29,20,447,170,335,0.124,0.823,0.053,-0.9765,0,1,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,1,6,14,11,0,2,14,0,31,6,1,2,9,56,56,25,0,5,10,0,5,1,2,0,3,0,3,0,17,15,2,1,11,2,2,2,8,7,0,1,15,9,31,4,42,37,9,52,0,3,3,0,7,23,0,8,26,176,48,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365985051240019,0.06681926569310434,0.0,0.0,0.07807029680096893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450205562091962,0.27478256523621697,0.10252111649558218,0.0,0.1153300274578346,0.0,0.0,0.10541401998180748,0.0,0.0,0.06710362298339304,0.07046953792874222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587725507192815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414830929486519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493265496299422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722691871498336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430796394021445,0.06596499694899621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479164840695784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0497873646931538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245630276575672,0.05385103885846823,0.07237601877564606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03938261102305216,0.0723107628562407,0.0,0.0,0.12057554063569945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665773026023547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012474819256157,0.0,0.0,0.05052520453560591,0.07964244578367191,0.0756116567923399,0.0748687253374023,0.14846699601712293,0.0,0.0,0.08509413647483206,0.08142265759069592,0.1573529616707894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849601688931103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03682655390105544,0.0,0.0,0.06670837271474503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05031631655168239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759646781793988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060167096061024924,0.0,0.055412512134624926,0.0,0.17441165745741494,0.0,0.08016681793758301,0.0,0.0,0.1446570820361813,0.08581991533457242,0.0,0.0,0.05107901371818077,0.0,0.0,0.08844145237188575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863196503762943,0.0,0.07442803662314926,0.0,0.34156053937428005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060067600574776836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058030723742836826,0.0,0.0,0.16006172373957794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269363330290433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043954318357317584,0.0,0.07145083136138854,0.0,0.0,0.10235529194875197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062195876774830135,0.04446070698118953,0.0,0.12092957179797695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463124308559474,0.07655141189349217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27478256523621697,0.048541844554972485
mentalhealth,Gwintissimo,2019/01/10,"My hopes for a better life are all hinged on one thing. I went to university in 2013 completing my first year, i attempted to retake my second  year but eventually dropped out due to several traumatic events and bad choices I made.

This year I've applied again. I'm now 24 and it feels like the last chance ill get. Not just for a job, but my last chance to get out of my life. Currently I have no friends. It's been this way since I left university, I had friends there but they all stopped contacting me, my old school friends all went to university and did the same. I had a partner but she found someone else.

Right now I live in my home town, go to work, come home, repeat. That is my life. I've lost interest in a lot of things because I simply don't see the point anymore. It's all meaningless when I'm alone.

I've lost hope about having friends and a career. Honestly if I don't get into university (which may happen because of financial reasons) then I am out of options. I don't know what other careers I can pursue. And the thought of another year here fills me with dread. My only company is from YouTube videos that feel as close to a conversation with a friend as I can get right now. I've even started taking myself out as I would with a friend or partner. Just to feel like I have some substance in my life.

I suppose I'm better than before. I had a mental breakdown at university after being mugged, losing my partner, and witnessing a freak accident resulting in a death of a child, all within a year. And I've slowly recovered. But I'm not who I used to be anymore. As though I was an intricate drawing but slowly all the details disappeared until I was just a blank page. Blowing in the wind.

If I don't succeed with university this year then that's it for me.",2.8118460287340743,4.7047018011204464,4.171878557874766,85.66377609108163,75.80672268907563,7.519616879009668,26.922291497244053,8.360895534625662,1.8382558778350049,1401,55,286,26,31,462,183,357,0.14800000000000002,0.7020000000000001,0.15,-0.0752,2,1,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,1,9,13,21,0,1,21,0,24,5,0,4,6,57,52,25,1,5,14,0,3,2,9,2,5,0,2,4,16,18,0,1,7,1,0,6,7,6,0,3,14,4,39,15,45,34,10,53,0,3,1,0,15,20,0,9,27,190,55,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572603792526704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691730308972256,0.0,0.0,0.1833246161658137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717231384212156,0.11268474168392645,0.0,0.07864819186505731,0.0,0.0,0.16348755614774518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079617294237041,0.09690748578100124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721052786343897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061046868733779326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402009319021799,0.13205910056222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861798156394917,0.0,0.10134094834792516,0.4284511686929364,0.0,0.19315624358389485,0.0,0.05252814191030114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173249848365287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542274391881072,0.1836008503806694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171909546599992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050795218173589306,0.15067995876860113,0.0,0.0,0.10042172384528762,0.0,0.2611344403418725,0.09030989351498332,0.0,0.08161434253687465,0.0,0.0,0.10340167469076317,0.20178900880121975,0.07857775295263053,0.0,0.08745624234201763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314422978204412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698612300584854,0.0,0.0626306265600251,0.07029456095850653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873729705969708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502989348709467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786354812267764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354060938358533,0.07365199885636296,0.0,0.0,0.10441570043414486,0.0,0.07645620247257554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831272120880925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541999225877282,0.0,0.0,0.07727273964547675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949326770305157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280819413788865,0.0,0.09080862227943973,0.0733763615475541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982686896451635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336389828074383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136068732531762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728763377392424,0.0,0.0,0.06565717374080159,0.0,0.0,0.3571180315615793
mentalhealth,Just_Love_Me_Please,2019/01/10,"Need a little pick me up :) I'm just kinda falling to pieces right now.

Can you guys just tell/show me happy things to get me through :) ",-0.6039285714285718,1.601893607142859,0.6257142857142846,103.04428571428572,95.07142857142857,2.8000000000000003,14.142857142857142,3.1291,-1.581028571428571,103,2,24,0,4,32,24,28,0.038,0.6759999999999999,0.285,0.8553,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,4,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21554017455390972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4084890330132564,0.0,0.4391667936973415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.413483148758292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30590035196844506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523151629658065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605865943362941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740796684590112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,screwygrapes,2019/01/10,"How do I (19F) admit myself to a psychiatric hospital right before college classes start? I mean the question is pretty much in the title but to elaborate, my mental health state has been getting exponentially worse by the day. I’ve been having delusions, difficulty separating dreams from hallucinations from reality, strong self destructive urges that I’ve been strong enough to get through but I don’t think I will be for much longer, memory loss, etc. I’ve been diagnosed with several things by several people over the years and nothing’s come out of it or really lined up accurately. I’m currently on lexapro for my mood swings and Wellbutrin for my depression and they’re helping those but everything else is getting worse and has pretty much bypassed the stuff I’m medicated for in terms of function impairment. 

So that brings me to now. Move in for my first semester is a week from today and I don’t know realistically if I’ll be functional or safe by then but I’m going to try to hold out until then so I can at least meet my teachers and talk to the school health department. I am definitely going to admit myself to a psychiatric facility in the next three weeks because I am not going to be able to hold it together for much longer and my current health team isn’t able to help out much here because of scheduling, in fact if I told them what was happening they’d probably admit me on the spot and I need the freedom to admit myself. At the very least I want a plan in place so that if I can’t admit myself my parents and girlfriend can make sure I’m okay. 

So my question is how do I go about dealing with possibly missing my school orientation and first week or if I do make it past that how to deal with absences and missed work? I also don’t know if it’s going to affect my financial aid or other benefits I qualified for? If I end up missing an entire semester I don’t know what that means for me. I know some of it is up to the discretion of the school and I’ll be contacting their health and admissions services individually tomorrow but in general I just want to know if and how this may affect my education.

tl;dr I’m going to admit myself or plan for my loved ones to admit me to a psych ward and I want to be prepared for missing a chunk of the first half of my semester if not the first week",5.835383655645662,6.217885117903933,6.891905801621959,74.78490174672491,66.81659388646288,10.472988147223957,31.859326263256396,10.371327730470783,3.2371413599500936,1856,71,355,45,28,625,208,458,0.07400000000000001,0.7709999999999999,0.155,0.9877,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,3,11,13,15,1,0,21,1,34,7,0,8,2,80,79,45,0,12,21,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,17,22,0,3,17,2,0,10,8,7,0,7,6,0,46,7,68,65,11,55,0,6,0,1,25,20,0,17,24,251,63,10,0.1595606206550474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380028534508847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726667336317987,0.0,0.06788716799121364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687236731157106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145170010085296,0.16449999361201226,0.06871466438186226,0.08097533562009725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664621209282194,0.0,0.0706616748995203,0.08243438718956493,0.0889761349878055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170139865827181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714443648352049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504575800576254,0.0,0.27204593338262817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705494649441082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.339210956730626,0.0,0.0,0.1069501206315462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21922586060321586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200484490186769,0.0,0.1065079532957691,0.0,0.0,0.17380829269216008,0.0,0.08037026934064423,0.08039978828089522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479384405415018,0.2932385386544424,0.05915608921521728,0.0,0.0,0.08484726512120871,0.0,0.0,0.07655135944612723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406120300858989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858659325553069,0.0,0.07615933353790079,0.0553096219032208,0.0,0.08335344391878874,0.0,0.0,0.08994031268238392,0.0,0.1623305142847707,0.08601666812610244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874441229716714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110930968741147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813194910749551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422257999568312,0.0,0.0,0.08322826311076835,0.1802580842152172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056468914276824995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132936805299993,0.0,0.0,0.07519199832250074,0.0,0.0,0.0641243914168196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300249318154079,0.05112000147013672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562240572365776,0.07623350542803772,0.0,0.05416559379527939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582711129021948,0.1411694822032161,0.0,0.25597981068241826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05808101609734734,0.0,0.16260590409267928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051375904150704615
mentalhealth,HappinessIsNot4Fish,2019/01/10,"My Mental Health has Deteriorated, I no longer believe we have Free Will. I was diagnosed Bi-Polar with Hypo Mania almost 6 years ago. I am 29 years old now.     
    
I've gone through many major life events, from surgery to relationship/friendship loss through that time.  

  

As things kept occurring or happening I would choose to believe it was out of my control, as I began seeing ""coincidences"" enough times that I no longer believed I had any control. That was in the beginning.  

  

Now it is almost second nature that anything that happens to me is like the universe playing a joke on me. I no longer believe we have Free Will, and that all of life is pre-determined. My mother used to tell me we can only plan, and the rest is out of our control.  

    
Now I am beginning to see patterns in all aspects of life, down to the smallest of things. I can't convince myself it is all just random happenings, because it happens too often.  

  

I've had Vivid Lucid dreams every single night for the last 3 months. When I go through my day something inevitably happens, or I take notice to something that has direct correlation to my dream.   

  

I'm at the point where I kinda have given up, and whatever happens is bound to happen. Be it, something someone says, or the classic Dejavu when I find myself somewhere I have already been, going through the same steps.  

  

I'm too afraid to talk to my mother about it, as she is my main source of reliance. Also because my older brother was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and Psychosis, and part of me doesn't want her to go through any more than I or he has already put her through.   

​

I've been on 800mg of Seroquel for the past 8 months, and after a short break prior, I was on it for about 4 years. I haven't had a psych appointment in the past 2-3 years, and my first appointment is coming up in late February.   

  

I find myself too unsure of what is going on in my mind, that I have a lot of trouble describing it, and occasionally lean on the idea that nothing is real, including the people or conversations I have. How am I to know....  

  

I guess this is just a rant, stuff I want to talk about but am to afraid of being further ostracized.   ",6.753506211180124,6.3643374500000025,6.956024844720499,77.71593167701865,64.97619047619048,9.304347826086957,34.21325051759834,8.587818076936951,2.7155269151138723,1699,67,321,21,23,549,209,420,0.039,0.928,0.032,0.0793,0,0,3,0,0,0,56.0,4,0,0,6,17,10,0,2,17,0,43,6,0,5,3,52,71,21,0,3,8,3,0,1,0,3,6,1,0,0,22,16,0,5,5,4,2,8,6,4,0,2,14,4,48,8,62,52,12,58,0,1,3,0,16,20,0,12,30,236,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945611560992045,0.0,0.15692047577683774,0.0,0.17293123011382525,0.062659685536983,0.0,0.08489655342335993,0.09520871673096308,0.10656684783816964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644786864339493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955277728492868,0.0,0.0,0.35311261846818764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749505465508616,0.0,0.0,0.2636421050694865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05053186410099327,0.0,0.0,0.159055372206029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096065324462813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601664549974054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432283188154797,0.06664789369421449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812159245755665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631579232141398,0.0,0.4850174391858541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328666464607135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845215701513194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04306132304165145,0.06386898820144356,0.0883867531358828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660312953244027,0.03827981883270887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661379014490819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943868326669165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896242820344583,0.0,0.07911522909520463,0.0,0.12508287053381972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735299446774895,0.0,0.07518280027084782,0.08920657686495324,0.08221936874136032,0.0,0.0,0.05959176683050785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484977360279031,0.14959556573702495,0.054320815289144175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406987994671338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876743671856105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918403440458281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412289974589789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231026563300102,0.0,0.0,0.12487602689602065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638911117024605,0.18096226958203976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969661266464704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058912475571115584,0.12595599470113172,0.0684848715013905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410986526056662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137772424506464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767272029696493,0.0,0.0,0.09243046813377302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055660451320288296,0.0,0.09520871673096308,0.20182969282027854
mentalhealth,margo_andromeda,2019/01/10,"Advice For When You Don’t Feel Good Enough I’ve been struggling with this for as long as I can remember. There has never been a time when I feel as though I am good enough. Good enough for other people, relationships, job positions, college, ect. It’s very frustrating because I don’t know where these feeling come from, they almost seem innate. I always put myself down, I never acknowledged anything positive about myself. 

When it comes to these feelings I have this weird double standard where if I see someone who makes a mistake that is similar to a mistake that I have made, I don’t think of them as “stupid and worthless”, but when I’m the one making the mistake I am “stupid and worthless”. I see myself as beneath everyone else, like everyone else is worth so much more than I am. 

I’ve done the first step and have acknowledged that I have a problem, but I have no idea about how I should fix it. Any advice would be much appreciated. ",5.550174953959483,6.504175762430941,5.612941988950279,81.68563766114181,67.61878453038675,8.464272559852672,29.447974217311234,8.59863814320734,2.138646040515653,747,26,141,11,12,235,106,181,0.179,0.728,0.093,-0.9287,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,2,1,12,15,3,1,7,0,21,0,0,4,2,34,36,18,0,7,3,0,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,11,0,1,4,6,11,0,2,4,6,22,4,18,29,7,17,0,2,2,0,5,4,0,3,10,108,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473624033367001,0.0,0.0,0.1267399965123655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053150701528592,0.0,0.0,0.08607087033403578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415503079894277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715493811636616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21805498483838276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295234440756883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114633591101479,0.0,0.0,0.3923370557882634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24188311125773346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559871978671516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765903904566246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184787738113442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288034771895258,0.0,0.0,0.12559963361530646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955869723309004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061834940039961615,0.0,0.0,0.1120090747036054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976210558684347,0.16897081520928514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18608471346595248,0.0,0.19523474664731874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576604151043207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774661058364172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110889085867925,0.0,0.12723622721097996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588712330400535,0.14337735434715934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20171729833125876,0.11522314203881012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724101716517996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323168004797155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109993718424015,0.12435283655448155,0.0,0.07380306741229517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443220729904464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991057886215376,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Asstato,2019/01/10,use of melatonin on depression A very close friend of mine has depression but also issues with sleeping. I was advised by a friend to use melatonin for sleeping issues but we do not have any idea on how much it would effect a person with depression. do any of you have any idea ? I am looking it up online and the only thing i can get good is that it simply increases its effects but I was wondering what you guys think too thanks !,3.5922521008403336,5.420349905882354,4.416302521008404,85.02764705882355,73.47058823529412,7.2100840336134455,26.26050420168067,7.957251820313856,1.6239915966386564,342,12,65,5,7,110,58,85,0.102,0.742,0.156,0.735,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,2,0,2,3,7,0,0,4,0,11,2,2,5,0,19,18,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,1,8,4,11,15,2,5,0,3,1,0,8,4,0,1,0,50,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819486444459474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270361755527497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4142081985123969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24770058525612498,0.0,0.08375210189220249,0.0,0.0,0.13445519408440926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872593211720093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619268810946802,0.0,0.33463096875871995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461479062999895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784171343249712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191823826409008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997106602068835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208390726536011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758617103761132,0.0,0.0,0.10649869968263788,0.10271618102372884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769019707239373,0.0,0.1322673960309893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17384259706260394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387519664007692,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nukaz_,2019/01/10,"How do I stop over-analyzing myself My job requires me to watch and edit videos and clips of myself, and as a result my brain just jumps to thinking that everything I make is shitty and that I'm boring and ugly and I just end up hating myself. When in reality I enjoy what do when I'm not analyzing myself and just living in the moment",5.420652173913044,5.236458275362324,7.383876811594202,72.84798913043481,67.69565217391303,9.218840579710145,25.94565217391305,8.841846274778883,1.8892,267,6,50,4,4,95,45,69,0.202,0.754,0.044,-0.8885,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,2,0,3,1,1,3,0,17,8,11,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,11,1,7,8,0,9,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,5,40,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179894463967953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316352198160333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365149373966287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696736409328717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715655417711746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33062992223090004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499359699131472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31304154521626226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399206210247901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotAllBearsAreBare,2019/01/10,"I feel like i really dont want to be around people lately It's no one specific. I have been a bit depressed for a while now and about two weeks ago i started to notice i really dont want to be around other people and its not a thought but an actual feeling.

Although the very first time i noticed it was during pride week in the summer, where i figured it was because i was feeling down because i saw a pair of young guys kissing and felt like i missed all that by being in the closet all my teens and the majority of my twenties.

Anyway i told myself id go out this weekend and intially i was excited and looking forward to it but as Saturday gets closer its like im trying to come up with an excuse to not go out and then i realised that theres a part of me that dreads the thought of intracting with another person face face to face.
",4.368716883116882,4.61565961714286,5.853402597402599,81.4324155844156,69.97142857142858,8.64935064935065,29.623376623376625,8.575989854853784,2.1468857142857143,663,24,135,10,11,226,106,175,0.07,0.7879999999999999,0.142,0.9231,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,0,1,12,0,11,4,3,0,2,29,28,13,0,2,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,11,14,0,0,7,1,0,4,5,3,0,3,10,6,17,6,25,15,5,28,0,2,2,1,4,11,0,0,18,101,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.13878883685389762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607184007511907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913289891620887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532167074112716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339527262114018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527035027475616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251226060678333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249620092459625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333678844163474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21573620745482025,0.10160392348556524,0.13655609306252384,0.0,0.0,0.1209745538081952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743054893994628,0.0,0.16165687298403425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082283070978774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362491879830312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604333975238096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20844847810460493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943124616791925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238429674164177,0.0,0.0,0.09637378055380008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401332185258512,0.0,0.19719862182747566,0.12418337364020338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222300363120528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066595728107217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258178707135526,0.08293119861576805,0.0,0.0,0.13589988224644706,0.0,0.09655987583485873,0.0,0.13893090965591082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734862017343888,0.16777326365433884,0.0,0.2281649383291641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ExcitingFalcon,2019/01/10,"Anxiety Iv'e struggled with anxiety my whole life. Iv'e been diagnosed with multiple anxiety disorders over the years. I find day to day life extremely difficult, I exhibit behaviors that someone who is, I speculate depressed, would feel. I don't want to wake up in the morning, don't want to go anywhere and find it difficult to want to talk to people. I have no idea how to combat these feelings. I felt the need to quit my old job because I consistently needed to go into the bathroom because of a panic attack. One day at work it got so bad that I was in the bathroom for around half an hour, shaking, sobbing and rolling on the floor flailing around, I ended up leaving work and running into the woods for hours on end. That, to me, is when I said ""I can't take this job anymore, I need to quit"". Quitting my job caused a lot of problems with my parents. I tried to explain to them that I wasn't healthy enough to have a job and that staying any further would cause severe mental health problems for me. I've also dropped out of college on two different occasions, not a university, but still a big loss in my mind. I'm incredibly intelligent and thought college would be a time for me to showcase my abilities to not only myself but my parents and others as well. But of course, I failed. The root cause of my failures in life are all able to be traced backed to my anxiety issues. I have a job now in which I only work about once or twice a week and still I feel the need to call out of work, panic in the bathroom while at work and isolate myself when I return home . I've tried communicating to my parents that i need help and I'm incapable of working in this current state but they often tell me ""if you can't hold a job that's one day a week, then that's sad"" or ""man up! It's just one day a week stop being a sissy"", my parents have done so much to help me over the years, but these comments are incredibly degrading, I'm starting to feel like an incapable, spoiled, jerk. I am only 20 so I don't think I need to feel like a failure, in fact I know everything I do at this point is pretty insignifficant, in a good way . I just don't know what to do. Is there anyone that can offer any kind of advice?",5.09771066368382,5.194823230425059,6.019239373601793,81.39486950037289,68.37360178970917,9.038329604772557,31.991797166293807,8.841846274778883,2.4596660700969437,1732,69,356,27,27,574,209,447,0.17800000000000002,0.752,0.07,-0.9894,12,0,0,0,0,2,48.0,0,1,2,11,19,22,2,4,27,0,30,6,1,5,2,70,59,27,0,15,12,4,6,2,0,3,5,1,1,1,21,18,0,2,14,0,0,4,10,17,1,6,8,7,47,5,67,45,5,66,0,5,0,0,18,30,1,5,30,241,68,15,0.06304606890292946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06160788886416173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05041791852375538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574697759163014,0.0,0.19292028058424773,0.0,0.06252475936762991,0.04408327727104493,0.0,0.0,0.11224873573284087,0.0,0.07172400500310433,0.0,0.04847853538476763,0.052640834097888736,0.07686459686154135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437708532297234,0.0,0.0,0.19429703880679114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203297493856209,0.0,0.05430148676378342,0.0639904328271488,0.0,0.06586972333181616,0.07225625701801272,0.0,0.0,0.06451801761528697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116802079666675,0.06514344245325765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056661741495962564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938993379868044,0.09008024844290606,0.06053411309068365,0.0,0.1152459296028732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166106770952567,0.052880051395298236,0.0504237006696739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701502307672044,0.0,0.0,0.08451690206307537,0.0,0.06324034757188958,0.0,0.12417535641182237,0.0,0.0,0.07117133779752548,0.0,0.06580371605172301,0.3753809713088206,0.0,0.0,0.06565277897193028,0.06929694134381469,0.0,0.0,0.06675668383448842,0.0,0.0,0.13359390887971495,0.06160224937204685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359951323251133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353560886049257,0.0,0.0636585571779798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04634611481731537,0.2804871674261029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661562438233088,0.06714200578052126,0.1281649438011383,0.14384812909604505,0.0,0.1479419556463785,0.28002079406989583,0.0,0.0,0.043708205936903013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959891340363638,0.0,0.0,0.06414051754518471,0.0,0.12065314676503075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20117176431684453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997124893119416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122411251026398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341872958922556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04462433206582928,0.0671987209041335,0.1006973441316134,0.052709336618940304,0.0,0.06590943998647937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04740279763491849,0.05067404204152977,0.05510504308913284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040397375264310184,0.0,0.05005153639469145,0.03676266978035396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560828466487289,0.0,0.06158684836605431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155861471880403,0.05004303494219101,0.15171526078103226,0.0,0.05668598747222502,0.0,0.0,0.07038868442520009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753897342183357,0.0,0.0,0.13435835540566615,0.0,0.0,0.0811992026538451
mentalhealth,traveltm309,2019/01/10,"Lets Talk - MENTAL HEALTH Hi Reddit!  


Long time listener, first-time caller.

One of my goals for this year is to be more open about my own personal mental health, in order to try to do my part in eradicating the stigma associated and the fear of judgment that follows. I have made a YouTube video going into a bit more detail, but I would love to hear some of your stories as well if anyone is comfortable to share. I'm working to be more vulnerable, to open up, in hopes others feel okay to do the same. 

​

[https://www.youtube.com/attribution\_link?a=z8UuJZS1tq0&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DtpTW2L6rESw%26feature%3Dshare](https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=z8UuJZS1tq0&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DtpTW2L6rESw%26feature%3Dshare)",15.759636963696373,18.361021613861393,9.083910891089113,59.917483498349846,45.73267326732672,9.505610561056104,29.704620462046204,9.2995712137729,2.424681848184819,617,13,78,7,6,155,74,101,0.043,0.7609999999999999,0.196,0.9613,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,0,2,2,7,0,1,5,1,9,3,0,1,0,12,18,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,1,1,1,3,6,6,19,13,8,13,0,0,0,1,9,7,0,3,3,54,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5256135036290465,0.19648613580904692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306608970178432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765371587535267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196017501969414,0.08176160062527899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754399325423916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189920998787407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34376421534959145,0.1822503760793765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606069859837981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535167700806064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431015505248185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594274458366724,0.1530067367215085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259160069478953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957374261858548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751079597742636,0.0,0.0,0.14119231333010873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299702775678816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942899797015035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978532668545596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538989252005075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772128540804845,0.0,0.0,0.11486875753419667,0.0,0.19648613580904692,0.10413105489554038
mentalhealth,WhatDoNameSelf,2019/01/10,"Seeing a professional on parents insurance without them knowing? Hi. This may be a dumb question, but I’ve been really struggling lately with depression and suicidal thoughts, and I want to go see a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist, but I don’t want my parents to know. They would either worry or be upset, and I don’t want either. However, I’m only 18, so I’m technically an adult but I’m still on their health insurance. If I pay whatever is left, the copay or whatever after insurance, is there anyway for them to find out? If it makes a difference, I’m in Michigan.

Thanks.",3.0751529051987774,5.8638180366972525,5.273600917431192,73.43193042813456,79.64220183486239,9.137920489296636,29.266819571865447,9.516144504307137,3.6143755351681968,462,22,77,15,12,160,74,109,0.231,0.698,0.071,-0.9705,3,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,4,0,4,5,1,2,6,0,9,1,0,1,0,26,24,11,1,6,10,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,5,0,1,1,3,4,0,0,2,2,9,1,11,18,2,9,0,1,2,0,9,5,1,6,3,53,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913664009223707,0.0,0.0,0.1930386639398916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887060662894735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500542637372216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963950941992583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030825134143188,0.0,0.20842141754450846,0.0,0.20074621995130373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333115487837193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052106312471818,0.0,0.0,0.4103162821129601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20697754594389706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836430977657725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29446537653648186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475524701655535,0.0,0.0,0.193155058082216,0.0,0.20210141818316815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701055227831332,0.0,0.21452481011126712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668168052109076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269351205229859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810554188468472,0.0,0.0,0.18763643055422835,0.0,0.13125077858111694,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,redremmy,2019/01/10,"why do i panic when i travel? context: ever since i was a kid my family took big road trips everywhere and i absolutely hated it. every summer we’d go somewhere new, the four corners, south east, everywhere. even going to my aunts house to spend the night as a kid was an ordeal for me. i have multiple vivid memories calling my mom and crying, asking her to take me home because i didn’t want to be there. even the thought of spending the night at a friends place would wig me out, and that happens to this day. if i go downtown and get drunk with my friends i would rather pay the 20$ for an uber home and the 20$ uber to go back to my friends apartment to pick my car up the next day instead of just spending the night

when i was 16 we drove to my parents rv property in florida for a week, then spent 2 days in disney world because my mom works for disney and gets free tickets and hotel discounts. about 3 days the trip i had a breakdown, asking if i could fly home by myself but my parents wouldn’t let me and it ruined the whole trip for me. 

this week i visited my sister in ohio and i was supposed to be there from monday to friday (1/7-1/11). we planned this for 3 months and i was on board and excited, i even initially brought up the idea of visiting. 2 days after i got there i had another meltdown/panic attack and decided to fly home two days early. it cost me over 300$ to rebook my flight short notice but i did not care at all i would have paid any amount of money just to get out of there. 

why do i do that? do i just hate traveling or is there an underlying issue i don’t know about. we’re planning a 2 week trip to germany for next summer (2020) to visit my other sister who is moving there with her family for her husbands air force assignment and i just don’t know if i can go. i never have anxiety before trips, i’m always excited to go but inevitably i break down and feel like i might die if i don’t go home right at that moment. what’s wrong with me?

tldr: i don’t get anxiety about travel but when i do travel i break down and get massive panic attacks if i can’t go home",3.4694924242424214,4.111053025,4.85318181818182,86.3906060606061,72.1590909090909,7.775757575757575,26.03030303030303,7.908726449838941,1.3437893939393941,1641,50,354,21,30,549,209,440,0.106,0.841,0.053,-0.9809,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,3,0,0,3,23,16,4,2,20,0,35,1,0,1,3,55,67,30,1,12,16,8,1,1,3,5,0,0,6,2,12,22,1,0,6,7,10,25,9,8,0,2,16,2,58,9,55,41,3,82,0,1,1,0,26,26,0,7,30,231,70,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145725231838515,0.0,0.0,0.050227181994980975,0.07744841748678137,0.11300505645313433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809784472262054,0.16805232109085974,0.0,0.056793610410789015,0.0,0.09004847060434064,0.0,0.06284923129264594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541909164945249,0.0,0.07530496645993197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058971022937431734,0.0,0.08113149826043528,0.2858006803692462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665478890693299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463510609115119,0.06681039801283678,0.0622300487530412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925685123438744,0.0,0.03734572314001066,0.05276544036622212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119164446265306,0.0,0.19294342852553925,0.0,0.33580971279877136,0.0,0.05907241191538789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531395801366388,0.0,0.0,0.14584247964286495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445242786814029,0.0,0.0,0.0852242675397156,0.0,0.08337869944308136,0.0,0.0770904191589503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118280509308695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552662745169231,0.0,0.03608415686959465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835355279868918,0.0,0.1730073593153584,0.05895417036541591,0.0785012554632059,0.0,0.0,0.056965214325950475,0.07133423411914037,0.15710142425860132,0.20793719557167947,0.0,0.0,0.08408984711923566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17331707168345434,0.1640250861448511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771677480576089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307584709425461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109757184502015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555333613091153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863641374270365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206093133071139,0.0,0.0,0.07215027114100989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04356441087463103,0.0,0.17773757696641485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329392350107905,0.08246180477285778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05377079825875966,0.0,0.0,0.15740360206388088,0.080754072854757,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatisontheotherside,2019/01/10,"How to feel comfortable alone I am in a crappy place right now and am having trouble being fully alone. I’m in my late 20’s and live with my parents, just having someone in the same house even though I am in my room makes me feel safer than when I am alone.

I have bad thoughts, my anxiety goes crazy and just cannot block them out and when I am alone, I can’t trust myself and don’t feel safe as I know there’s nothing to stop me as no one is here.

It feels ridiculous to say it and I know most of it is illogical as part of me wishes I’d just get it over with but there is only so much I can do to distract myself and I can’t shake the feeling of not trusting myself. I just don’t feel safe anymore. 

Even when I feel good I can’t use the phone because of my anxiety so when I am on the edge I know calling someone wont happen. Are there any other strategies? I try writing and watching films or playing game but nothing seems to keep my mind off things for long.",5.107129186602869,3.910714066985644,5.765454545454547,87.56818181818184,68.61722488038279,8.36555023923445,29.52631578947368,6.574015621080383,1.2837138755980853,756,22,176,4,11,247,114,209,0.138,0.746,0.117,-0.0875,1,4,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,19,12,1,2,5,0,23,0,0,3,0,44,42,22,0,1,8,1,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,6,11,0,5,12,3,0,1,9,5,0,1,1,9,29,7,24,39,4,20,0,0,1,0,7,11,0,3,8,124,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5049283644425046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288334647443553,0.0,0.18647745852642525,0.0,0.12087332847061948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176565084352256,0.07429760432646203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445425874367025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100267101907986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4313873227972073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367785888543682,0.0,0.0,0.10222810749682397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077790789099851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406344575578635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833354660383164,0.0,0.0,0.2009480413305669,0.0,0.13748722107341638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762326892805923,0.1078609628427183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135659931581365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306519480542448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959665285094494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23389645880226664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258980659382216,0.09269608996481304,0.0,0.0,0.13533456890734305,0.13198538431909151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273398376112335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408581730514033,0.0,0.0969247648802904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095600133253587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20653896835193591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189808042520948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097240566693065,0.0,0.11974758936704097,0.09676000132240148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274928537718355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052661617946801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015728210254078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,moonbearboy,2019/01/10,"How do I stop feeling alone and empty? Context: I'm 19m. My mum died unexpectedly 2 years ago. Going to university atm, living away from home.

Ever since I came back from christmas I've felt really alone. It's not like I don't have friends because I do, but I just feel really empty, even when I'm around them. I just want to crawl up into a ball and cry, idk. I think it's because everyone around me seems so set in life and so happy while I just feel so detatched from everyone. 

I feel like I need to meet new people and get a girlfriend and grow up as a person but I'm in such a bad place emotionally that I'd be worried to try and do any of that right now. I just want to get out of this hole I'm in and feel better about myself. I just don't know how, because as great as my friends are they aren't particularly helpful with this sort of thing. 

I can't talk to my dad or my family and honestly I wish they were out of the picture all together. I don't hate them, but I'm just sick of them contacting me and being intrusive when the whole point of moving away for me was to start again. I know they mean well, but I just hate it.

Is it me? Am I the problem? Idk what I am anymore I just hate everything, I have no passion in me and I just want to scream until everything is better. Idk. I just feel on my own and I need people in my life.",1.037957559681697,2.63290551724138,3.2455172413793107,91.6600530503979,80.0344827586207,6.530503978779841,20.809018567639253,7.468242284971852,0.4804748010610074,1040,28,245,15,26,356,144,290,0.172,0.664,0.16399999999999998,0.7424,0,2,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,6,2,27,17,3,0,7,0,19,4,0,2,2,59,50,28,1,7,16,2,7,2,3,0,3,1,1,1,10,18,0,1,12,1,1,4,7,6,1,0,4,8,42,11,39,44,3,36,0,0,0,1,16,18,0,3,15,163,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199219338630384,0.0,0.0,0.21496368649205405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057202946645569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291905987613817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18476735409700745,0.0,0.0,0.1950041214257608,0.07979823251515715,0.08664959627586062,0.18978478590140152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835649345088986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869342784615755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399434048410832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770431082567176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673534027778633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854383737293443,0.09387238522954956,0.0,0.1983270529143067,0.18653644491204016,0.0,0.09783187328428128,0.0,0.31483711040921514,0.07413842593653054,0.0996423508501245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035595730663132,0.0,0.1084385687783478,0.0,0.058978953241705476,0.0,0.0,0.1144146885015746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047271967297337,0.0,0.3073753900381782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955964478672316,0.0,0.10409695589662224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406642948376765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660175847284154,0.10140055964627716,0.0,0.09163713615750224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304375375419043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102987006967009,0.0,0.15389890272151738,0.0,0.10022863063920397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389203603165235,0.09061421580319888,0.10842504742403808,0.0,0.09810296271715402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099300729516949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296461588477496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862513011783542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447483153850474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584554158356954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345401006362719,0.0,0.0,0.08676235504753887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341215255821045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894493576534066,0.06649621567066517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045788152108418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836313784181916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330813261493874,0.0,0.0,0.1158634963209514,0.11933861581626265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053907464240133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682909046230001
mentalhealth,dontt1,2019/01/10,"Eating disorder discussion, not sure if i even qualify though. A few months ago I realized my eating habits are not exactly normal.
Back in highschool (when I was 15 or something) I decided I had enough of being the fat kid so I did the most sensible thing to do in the mind of a 15 years old: I started fasting and allowing myself to eat no more than 600kcal per day, the more this went on the more I loved it, the hunger, the calorie counting, the anxiety of having to hide the food you left in your plate, the weight going down and down, in my mind it was pure ecstasy.
Flash forward 6 years I'm over 10kg underweight and counting calories and planning meals is so natural I don't even have to use apps or even pen and paper, but I never fully realized this is not normal until recently, I don't know why but it never crossed my mind there could be something wrong with me.

Now you might think that's good, the first step to solving a problem is acknowledging its existence right? Well not so much, the thing is I really don't want it to stop, I don't want to be back to a ""healthy"" weight, I don't want to relinquish control over my food and over my body.
My eating disorder gave me confidence, something I had never felt before, it allowed me to be the person I was born to be, i know it sounds obscenely shallow but it's only because of liking my appearance I managed to accept my sexuality, to share my art, to meet the people I love. But I also feel that it served it's purpose though, I don't need it anymore and I can't let it go, it's like an extra limb, it draws up energy but it may come in handy once more.

To be honest tho the situation is not as bad as it was some years ago, my weight is stable, I feel healthy and I plan to start exercising ASAP, the only thing is every single bite of food is planned and every calorie accounted for, is it so unthinkable to keep living like that? 
On the other hand tho I realize that my weight is stable just because I have the metabolism of a comatose toddler and if an average person are as much as I did the results wouldn't be so bright.
 
What do you think of this situation? What are your experiences? What would you do? 

Sorry for the long post and for the English (it's not my native language), also sorry for the bad formatting I'm new here on Reddit.
Also I don't know the rules of this subreddit so if I'm offending someone or doing something wrong, please tell me",5.309549827937353,5.264542303462324,6.466056605098674,78.86018329938902,67.92057026476579,9.705204017136037,30.98398763958143,9.494082108488547,2.646541063276916,1905,69,383,36,29,643,227,491,0.078,0.767,0.155,0.9937,1,0,4,0,0,0,48.0,0,6,0,5,24,18,1,0,30,0,49,19,3,5,6,76,76,41,0,13,18,0,8,3,0,4,2,1,0,3,33,13,14,3,14,2,1,8,19,6,1,1,11,10,51,12,50,52,12,50,0,0,1,2,16,17,0,11,29,282,84,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273998287899052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17240022291789545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497301414515356,0.0,0.0712662136034586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051243356571236,0.12000087533408675,0.08761087341847988,0.0,0.06114791301034433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982071165390027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06190137709050845,0.0,0.0,0.08059755610362551,0.057374687113015375,0.0,0.0,0.04634401721409966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16471650267551582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941245425468625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425100922726595,0.0,0.14238936193060284,0.0,0.12109098327908124,0.0,0.0,0.07029326631303641,0.0,0.0,0.07266956119926267,0.0,0.0689972592849358,0.0,0.0,0.06112442490692616,0.2606816656965579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167984987212841,0.06027309942835603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387283092452872,0.0,0.0,0.11847780000648983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807654172871928,0.07348213415493526,0.0,0.1053220941576627,0.0,0.06345405532531398,0.06359419827917044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971364464496726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623253510097082,0.21767557585592004,0.0,0.057358290737332965,0.0,0.10565133402084503,0.053283580747284114,0.16626952622536328,0.0694032282155713,0.0,0.0,0.14081588157173766,0.0,0.0,0.07540540821265908,0.07652898746214976,0.0,0.10930615432243214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049818957674164686,0.12549147002921454,0.0,0.07888114686568715,0.0,0.0,0.06882240520471565,0.0,0.0,0.06876070388955148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046035616380242436,0.0,0.07095348193819309,0.0,0.0,0.06136839435973448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154821507610465,0.0,0.0,0.060887089080139074,0.2212866062715399,0.0,0.1608836831569797,0.10172633091528542,0.0,0.0,0.060078517380536274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772758252477568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280916250036891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432225826307422,0.09209049354921284,0.14120496871077934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062064318626746384,0.0,0.0,0.1271553884615549,0.0,0.0,0.35002646237228696,0.06461113537063902,0.06661531659837669,0.06484283953370475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104757087481546,0.1571361469533672,0.0,0.13882723690469762
mentalhealth,horseshoemagnet,2019/01/10,"Job anxiety I have an average IQ and sometimes an exceptional talent in simplifying complicated tasks but each and every single day at my job I fear that the next day when I am back, something wrong will happen with my work and I will be reprimanded/confronted/fired.

This anxiety has been present for as long as I can remember and it's been seven years since I have been working and I am already worn down enough to just retire. It shocks me when I think of people who go about their jobs day in day out for years on end, I could never do that.

If given an option,I just want to leave it all this very second not because I hate working but because I can't take this anxiety each and every fucking day..",6.126357142857143,5.98589935,6.743571428571433,77.8839285714286,66.21428571428571,9.857142857142858,31.07142857142857,9.516144504307137,2.6240714285714284,559,19,110,10,8,184,92,140,0.151,0.797,0.052000000000000005,-0.9194,3,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,3,6,6,2,1,4,0,15,1,0,0,2,23,24,13,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,5,0,2,5,0,15,1,16,15,5,22,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,1,15,82,24,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493011112808967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105003202036627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403330477154622,0.0,0.1649488370053219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802184185096693,0.0,0.0,0.4362695772422192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983098313647285,0.13979563427027242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279833094267752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224419807785558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507780817073266,0.0,0.0,0.0768911193181587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964069286534848,0.0,0.0,0.133575546822798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4027774630943171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325759596015436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973158852474565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043476451044966,0.0,0.14388749219960004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379633838278202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326256769718818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191720805527353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041565017135358,0.13380995856903696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017248077780608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669140722768244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163233073880284,0.07980034375226805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29548854893719845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147923560627282,0.0,0.17425075509909616
mentalhealth,Pandwhorian,2019/01/10,"I'm currently at the worst stage of my life, i'm the unhappiest i have ever felt.. (Rant) I think to really understand i have to include details of my past and my life in general, so i'm certain i can find some support here. I've my whole life in school basically been outcasted for the most part and instead of living like my brothers and all the kids in school outside, i only spent my time inside, because of severe bullying and mistreatment going on in school i just had no desire to really face what's outside or had any friends to even spend time outside with. I've always felt different and indifferent about myself and it was definitely noticeable, so i was a pretty easy target to attack and when i finished school and my parents divorced, i lived with my mom, making the discovery of transitioning and the possiblity of something i've basically dreamt of my whole youth and childhood. When i was 19 i seeked a psychologist for the first time in my life to undergo the whole process of getting hormones and being able to legally change my name, going through all that was a long and hard journey itself, i've had agoraphobia and several social phobias during that time, leaving the house and facing judgement of people outside, definitely was a challenge, but i've learned to overcome my agoraphobia and as i progressed in my transition, i've learned to be myself openly and freely and talk to people and accepting things easier. It sounds like my life turned out to get better, but in all honesty in all these years i've been at home not doing anything business wise or study wise and the image of having to find a job and working day for day really scares me to the point i suffer from panic attacks everytime, i feel anxious and uncertain everyday and i feel so filled with fright and fear, that it literally consumes me everyday. I rarely get myself to make phone calls and it's something i worked on recently, but i can't imagine doing this as a task at work day for day and it further fears me and demotivates me. I just can't imagine a life where i really have to spent all my days in the most uncomfortable environment for me and to get home to literally have no time for anything anymore, it makes me so unhappy and i'd rather honestly die, than to do this day for day, i have a social coach atm who helps me find what is best for me atm job wise and i had my first appointment where i broke down and had to open up about my anxieties and that i really need a psychiatrist to prescribe me something, in my head i feel like the only way for me to be functional in this society work wise, is if i'm on meds just making me completely empty and rid of feelings that completely block me from making this progress.. It probably all seems so silly and shallow and in some way i feel so awful and disgusting about myself, like a spoiled little baby who doesn't wanna endure the same shit everyone else goes through and i know for me there's no way out of this and i do try to see the positives like maybe it helps me to get out and work and to meet other people, but even the fact i have to socialize and have these shallow, script like conversations with people day for day.. it's just the most depressing thought to me that this is the life i'm going to live.. I don't even know what i feel the most passionate about, tbh most of the time in life i don't even feel much anymore and spent my time playing games and doing work around the house and stuff and doing errands, but i often feel so depressed in life i don't feel that energy in me, that spirit to keep finding what i want.. I have no friends irl, i hate the place i live, i hate it with a passion and there's nothing i can do about it, but hope i won't be so fucked up anymore one day and get a job to move away, but then i feel so uncertain about doing that, because i can't leave my mom behind and want everything good for her.. There's a person who lives so far from me that i wish existed in my life, because there's so many things on how this person affects me positively and the thought i can't ever see them is so depressing, it adds up to everything else on top. I don't think i can actually find the help i need, because in society we are suppose to be functional and if not.. well the only way is to get forced and thrown into the pit.. And i am not happy with building a life here.. a place i so passionately hate.. And i've tried multiple times to build a little friend circle online at least, but it never worked out and honestly i am so tired of toxic people on the internet who just come in to hurt you even more and to make you get frustrated even more over the fact that you have to start over again and find new people again and you can't actually maintain a sustainable friend circle that you can talk to and hang out with..",9.038845409644075,6.384824591858043,8.980929273384591,72.29089235704467,61.95407098121086,12.43611181832069,37.666479963338254,10.803931816700228,3.7939106064463566,3821,137,758,74,41,1255,348,958,0.147,0.708,0.145,-0.8937,7,0,3,0,1,0,68.0,1,5,1,15,51,54,9,7,45,1,58,20,4,8,12,171,120,89,1,11,21,4,13,6,4,1,12,1,2,3,47,76,0,2,31,3,6,8,19,23,1,3,19,16,102,31,128,95,24,107,1,6,2,4,38,54,2,16,46,529,149,18,0.04197427325558522,0.0,0.08192167167148284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034925957837570624,0.0,0.0,0.02854394517295898,0.0,0.03211020415188457,0.047418981276935,0.1248816007375837,0.0,0.0,0.0690825008989653,0.037366002260176695,0.0,0.09550359086212193,0.0394362114322054,0.0,0.0,0.10234850954194297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04404941017486835,0.037122833691429616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04286042599904286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044403215514392864,0.03615711975353366,0.08801845382902693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706993380486463,0.0,0.10845714014859134,0.0,0.043562668756190255,0.04385418178342567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012823856787387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634166969908895,0.0759362664643437,0.0,0.0401082168636748,0.07544754057071285,0.0,0.0,0.09446545391025776,0.2122345374382124,0.02998642920064645,0.08060376954080925,0.0,0.23018235196517545,0.07140659077726673,0.0,0.0,0.12971687758231376,0.03880453926036021,0.17543860281442206,0.0,0.07156484036596754,0.03520602895087886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04468239438901017,0.03760070424951805,0.1243227146377725,0.04307771393835785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844034117505355,0.0,0.08420723689680631,0.041689924266328594,0.0,0.09686535152628373,0.04493432765267233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495896840866555,0.0373086626709232,0.0,0.0,0.04613592571838186,0.0,0.0,0.08888938954210758,0.0,0.0,0.3261243757986941,0.123039058261451,0.08413849767867639,0.18532026144508207,0.03714591097784321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681089200020595,0.04255532495846875,0.0421687992110158,0.0,0.046623955164397886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831952306839498,0.0,0.044612009731585266,0.03085592046463552,0.062246783529862425,0.03237314716657345,0.04053901466849622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04027544724114391,0.04778798830509373,0.0,0.0,0.028442853860714618,0.09576997873219563,0.0,0.04924776580303344,0.04660746312998758,0.04545404757273015,0.04006919331047338,0.17459805612924229,0.07330063276716711,0.08770836356685134,0.0,0.03967925551063112,0.0473196863452253,0.0,0.04270292592455585,0.045255365862050506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444897130110758,0.0,0.04144453102583413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042023570000014165,0.16992082173660705,0.06689612271444638,0.03821180192843121,0.0,0.09483796255387,0.043085988310343715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283624569175865,0.0,0.09694153868880516,0.0,0.0,0.029709606650702037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04805050062075287,0.0,0.04763190787279586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747466177125444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577168408836746,0.053790838910617166,0.0,0.06664576878622894,0.1958042902679659,0.04824325244225966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569955525537665,0.045655956086090674,0.0,0.043696698761316384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04951502776412919,0.13326889747473047,0.0,0.0,0.03773991256433906,0.0,0.0,0.14058833130643714,0.048268342750371736,0.0,0.0,0.2139043958887343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027030055795990854
mentalhealth,maplesuryup,2019/01/10,"Vent TW/CW: Self-harm, depression Today has been a bad mental health day. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it, so here I am. When me and my boyfriend got together I weighed 110, a year or so later (today) I weighed in at 175. So on top of having no friends, I feel fat, and ugly, and gross. But I’m also a terrible person so it’s karma I guess. I was messaging this guy, casually flirting and my boyfriend saw the messages. He was so hurt, I can’t believe I would do that to him. He loves me so much more than I deserve to be loved and I broke his heart. We’re still together but I know things will never be the same. And that’s my fault. I’m not even upset that i got caught, but I’m devastated that I could hurt someone who would never do that to me. After 2 years clean of self-harm I relapsed. I don’t know why I’m posting this here, I know I’ll probably get hate but I just needed to get this off my chest. We talked about it and i tried so hard not to dissociate but I couldn’t even do that for him. I hate myself and I want to die. ",-0.3643421052631588,1.560244021929826,2.0439929824561425,96.65188421052632,86.85087719298244,5.226947368421053,18.33052631578948,6.55674776486733,-0.20276757894736885,799,21,196,9,25,272,125,228,0.215,0.703,0.08199999999999999,-0.9882,0,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,1,0,0,1,17,16,2,1,5,0,20,8,3,0,2,32,41,23,1,6,9,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,1,2,14,9,3,0,4,1,0,1,9,11,0,0,7,3,34,5,19,27,3,18,1,4,1,2,16,5,0,2,11,129,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577309001872792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248347793084312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043660362681264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149018513498363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560365599454306,0.0,0.0,0.08530064210446463,0.0,0.11392053094992807,0.0,0.13727124873941715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472092022024327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687767487990759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218840050847453,0.0,0.13820707484784311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115704410723676,0.0,0.14570593505232485,0.13096415662887406,0.0,0.0,0.11848437603078214,0.26117062724072554,0.0,0.1405925963635577,0.0,0.15673587292344146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831870243152609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180698399318567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387504977570169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329304089039576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723074490432294,0.0980735793871926,0.2040234202386411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548958868490634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667428738460396,0.0,0.14260514246295114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759646142176816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206857123355872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562781603589516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126208366950368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787166784889168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25074544681976063,0.0,0.0,0.0897999467782473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801392667871239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934951220454385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791597428330625,0.0,0.0,0.1703499633311391
mentalhealth,lmaowhatthefu,2019/01/10,"I feel as if I'm always being watched Hey! I'm kind of new to Reddit and I'm not really sure if this is where I'm supposed to post this, but I feel as if I need to talk to someone about this.

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Whenever I do anything, I feel as if everyone I know, like my classmates or my teachers, can somehow see me even if they are not near me. It feels as if they are judging me, and as if everyone knows about this, except for me.

This sounds really stupid once I'm typing it out, but it's started to become an issue for me. I feel too anxious to shower, because I don't want anyone to see me naked, and I sometimes stop thinking about things because I'm afraid others can hear my thoughts. It's really hard to do stuff that I enjoy in private, like reading, watching movies, or listening to music. I can't stop thinking that everyone I know is watching me and judging me.

I also have issues with webcams and phone cameras, because I'm afraid someone is watching me through them too. Sometimes mirrors make me stressed out as well because it feels like someone is on the other side, watching me.

I know it is irrational because I know that they can't see me. But whenever I try to tell myself I am irrational, I keep thinking that the reason why I think it is irrational is that everything everyone's ever told me is a lie.

I hope this was the correct subreddit for this because I'd really want to know what's wrong with me, or if this is normal and if I'm just overreacting. I don't think I want to talk about this with anyone I know. I'd be grateful for any reply I'd get! Thank you.

​

**TL;DR: I'm always feeling as if I'm being watched by people I know, this prevents me from doing stuff like showering or reading, and sometimes even thinking, because it feels like others can hear my thoughts.**

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mentalhealth,FewGuitar,2019/01/10,"I have some sort of mental illness and I really need a diagnosis - however, I'm afraid of the implications of a diagnosis Basically, I've had suicidal and abnormal thoughts for years to the point where I know I have something, but I just don't know what - this isn't the issue. What I'm most afraid of is being misdiagnosed (as my symptoms are largely overlapping with others mental illnesses) and carrying around this label, whether it be personally or through my medical records.

  
What I'm feeling right now is damn near unbearable for most of my waking hours, but to add on to the paranoia that I already have, I don't want this following me in a negative way down the road and to have to deal with the implications of this later.

​

Maybe I'm just uninformed, but I really just don't know. If anyone has a better viewpoint than I do, please feel free to share.

​

Thank you :)  
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mentalhealth,KnowsTheLaw,2019/01/10,"Reframing wants I've been doing a lot of work on my thought processes.  Not sure where to post this question, /r/meditation didn't seem right, and I'm not into /r/spirituality yet.

I've been listening to a lot of podcasts this summer, and am a 20 year yoga practitioner.  I'm trying to focus on acceptance a lot this year.  Romantic relationships were a sore spot for me, but I made a lot of progress last year (I'm 37M) and did lots of dating.

I think the thought 'you may (or would) be happier if you had a romantic partner' was doing some damage to me last year.  I read 'Subtle Art of not giving a F' and it helped me out a lot with values and priorities.

I'm trying to prioritize 1) I accept what is 2) I am completely happy with what I have - generally true, I workout twice a day and have good coping skills, I am a very happy person.  I am full of joy most days. 3) I have a desire to get into a romantic relationship.

Any words of advice for me?  Thanks.  :)

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mentalhealth,jonedoe89,2019/01/10,"Im lost and hanging by a thread Im delusional and psychotic and i think i have PBD I’m now on Olanzapine 5 mg and in still suffering, suspicious and anxiety and panic attack and wild thoughts .

I tried them all Risperidone, Aripiprazole,Invega,serquel and others i cant remember there name i was doing fine with solian but didn’t enjoy the things i used to enjoy i had to stop but because it was causing me being impotence 

I don’t know what to do , i feel that i have no future my work is affected I believe they doubt that i have mental illness i cant advance in my carrier i feel so lonely and sometimes i think i just want to pull the plug.......any help is appreciated any suggestions for medication or surgical procedure......please help a fellow human ",2.01753577106518,4.637890864864865,4.309348171701114,79.67285373608905,82.91891891891892,8.076947535771065,26.273449920508746,8.841846274778883,2.6513667726550083,600,26,110,17,17,207,99,148,0.196,0.653,0.152,-0.3943,0,2,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,3,5,9,1,2,4,0,15,2,0,3,1,29,25,13,0,1,4,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,6,10,0,1,7,0,0,4,5,6,0,0,6,2,21,3,10,18,1,11,0,3,0,0,8,3,0,2,4,75,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25514576603974504,0.0,0.14351174279487122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213419489688717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435782926935766,0.0,0.0,0.2113583899802094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927145352446482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897100884500829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514855954793953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052754603948385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309880114715976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20478507269111854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18898496724097705,0.1890543789276877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22010550495774986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20592596269984528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21251164746960816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855389425520355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498157820150165,0.15684009450613032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463158976298268,0.2404100890155123,0.0,0.14893163530158368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736653806150966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202419805437948,0.0,0.0,0.11064999610956318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365733748876331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,souththroaway,2019/01/10,"Always been headed to failure In the last days, I found out, through my sister, that my father has a secret family. He might have a secret son. His ""girlfriend from there"" said he was a pedo and that he once flirted with a 14 year girl and got beaten up by her father. He fell in love with his girlfriend's sister and when she got pregnant he made her have an abortion. He often badmouthed me and my sister to his secret family.

He had been spending all our money there, with call girls and according to her with underage girls. He's a terrible person by all means. I've always known that my parents aren't the best, but all that is just nauseating.

I've always fancied myself as being pretty resilient. I mean, while I do have suicidal thoughts, I have gone through some stuff without becoming bitter or a jackass. I have a speech problem and as a result I also have a thick accent in my native language. My head is going bald, I am going bald, I am only 16. But I am still among the best students in my school even with all that stuff, and I am proud of my resilience.

But somehow that made me lost all the hope. I was studying for University entrance exams. I was also studying for the ACT, because I want(ed) to study in the U.S. Now I wonder: what is that all for? Everything seems impossible, every dream I ever had sounds delusional. It seems like I have always been headed to failure. I can't cope it anymore. All is going to end in failure. I was not born the brightest neither was I born in the best family. All ends in failure.

Suicide surely seems like a good way out, but I'm too much of a coward. I will probably go on, living a miserable life and a lonely existence.

",3.2068774277082426,5.073637317220548,4.563559559775573,83.39939199395772,74.61933534743203,6.662106171773846,25.718709538195945,7.447530270364453,1.4189748813120415,1316,46,245,16,28,436,171,331,0.192,0.7140000000000001,0.094,-0.9897,1,2,0,0,0,1,45.0,1,0,0,6,13,18,2,1,22,0,32,7,5,3,10,54,54,19,2,2,8,7,1,2,2,2,1,3,0,4,12,15,0,0,12,1,2,7,5,7,0,0,19,5,39,11,37,32,14,34,0,3,0,1,35,14,0,10,14,184,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363511252978446,0.319711839018112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526373482492602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058556071601881664,0.10608852566514908,0.0,0.0,0.30242086702746285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808596861524788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061949470069664815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015777148975686,0.0,0.0,0.0634454099681492,0.08688996989142209,0.08093301676566213,0.0,0.08633074595061005,0.0,0.2716648299701485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532265041363892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183679240222911,0.0805689017374799,0.15365273207190094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957496944245551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954072785755906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830009922169741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784861356503033,0.09385818367236826,0.0,0.08482098310585051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485866561224412,0.0,0.0866961048007267,0.1817848241769961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20927066753648466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190236918295197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061369026888374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229864615201772,0.0,0.07305644549915635,0.0,0.0,0.10666105292342112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387414960876406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772553012209392,0.10356678199408878,0.09191454309832443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913731650162682,0.0,0.0,0.0972158348840616,0.0,0.26234281512516033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671205124137344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199268806119363,0.21014374520774096,0.0,0.09053353806438798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625933052614899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665750335010624,0.07624637757559277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925964942511694,0.10417081479003533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185820935454923
mentalhealth,Redragon9,2019/01/10,"How do I help someone close to me? My friend has had severe panic attacks recently, and although she is adament that I cant do anything to help her, I need to ask, is there anything I can do to help her in the moment? What can I do as a friend?",4.021635220125788,3.2703336792452866,5.549056603773584,86.74484276729561,70.69811320754721,7.821383647798742,30.874213836477992,6.42735559955562,1.5039610062893085,187,7,43,1,3,64,36,53,0.142,0.614,0.243,0.7383,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,2,0,11,0,0,1,0,4,13,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,10,2,6,12,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,2,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088649643059844,0.0,0.2322436973292317,0.2826191275706961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838648415475273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4995418157075272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18420387648763253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914730321743221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24528956650452902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806493661191492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21048956694189672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,calmmoontea,2019/01/10,"I got approved. I got approved for disability through the government.

No more having to stress about finding work, no more breakdowns about uncertainty if I'd get approved, no more panic attacks over having to get a job right now.

I can focus on getting better. I can focus on getting the help I deserve.

I'm crying and shaking over this. A huge weight has been lifted off of me.",3.40327380952381,5.903698652777784,4.482539682539684,81.24500000000002,76.3611111111111,5.780952380952384,29.73015873015873,6.868970318607317,1.8567158730158728,301,14,51,3,7,98,48,72,0.271,0.544,0.185,-0.7649,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,5,3,5,1,3,4,0,6,1,0,0,0,3,13,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,1,6,1,12,10,3,9,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,1,38,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688225387038383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089859513495734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595617268436821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159716497272239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938227994308048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37797742120723693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583852447656557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23448882440400595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772442231575663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179678848476051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270678007457401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877467168904556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720274067293187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,apppplesaaauce,2019/01/10,"No therapist will take me I attempted suicide in early November and since then I have completed inpatient and php. I learned a variety of new coping skills and have an entirely different outlook on life. I am 17 and while I was absolutely trying to gain from the treatment at first it has now gotten to a point where I am going back to school and feeling great, however my previous psychiatrist and therapist will not accept me as a patient anymore unless I complete a residential program. I have said so many times that I am feeling better and that much is true however no one believes me. Now I no longer have the prescriptions I need for my depression and anxiety and my therapist won’t even respond to my texts, she is only communicating with my mom. 

I dont see the need for a residential and just want to continue school, in my opinion sending me to a residential right now would do much more harm than good. Why throw off my senior year because my therapist won’t see me? I am willing to find another however my mom claims that no one will take me in because of the attempt. Is there truth to this claim? It seems so wrong that after a suicide attempt it is impossible to find a therapist or psychiatrist that will take me in as a patient. I know for a fact that these people are seeing much more unstable people who have a much higher risk of attempting suicide and yet they have decided to essentially force me into a residential by blacklisting me? I could really use some advice on what I can do in this situation.",8.048762886597938,7.365411539518902,8.804178694158079,66.49451546391754,62.47079037800689,12.845910652920963,39.33127147766323,12.10132525352546,4.9868586941580775,1222,58,216,37,15,415,156,291,0.142,0.7809999999999999,0.077,-0.9677,4,0,0,0,0,3,15.0,0,0,1,8,11,10,0,1,17,0,30,1,0,1,3,37,47,19,3,5,4,2,2,0,0,8,1,1,0,0,14,13,0,0,9,0,0,3,8,4,0,3,3,6,36,6,34,35,7,31,0,1,3,0,8,13,0,4,15,171,50,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030227899658104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690026055069267,0.07069362918695785,0.0,0.09164618961475647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105781919119618,0.0,0.11266492650080645,0.0,0.0,0.10411476688824192,0.0,0.08172940374148961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378088993661552,0.0,0.0,0.07378210779520843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795928589353886,0.0,0.0,0.09654909855541924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830418738566573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06103613387416314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345085206779624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892268636513674,0.07860415689099047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05251890503638768,0.0775093781411745,0.0,0.10188268577023517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050786286027722095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652721302110038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368954330886484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21645966100865568,0.0,0.0,0.27172882355170996,0.1370421381354769,0.0,0.08925044689917107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523922640524104,0.07028219992739515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813133771412955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873576063924987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920040667926179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891789420916327,0.08790336030989063,0.0,0.0,0.1870483212465943,0.22091714229771148,0.08412686955574691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644275794024565,0.10387305289691748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032456194645945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208443142728932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5364774240373079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388519107486986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274053005834376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981283171330744,0.0,0.0,0.054505991232289164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338592534368536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564562817658966,0.10103615998985556,0.0,0.059509205619062026
mentalhealth,burntoutaccountant,2019/01/10,"Ex cheated and got pregnant My now ex and I broke up. After I broke up with her I found out she was pregnant. For those that have kids, you'll get this. I wasn't thrilled about the fact I broke up with her and she was pregnant but those were the cards that were dealt. I was so excited to help bring a life into this world.

​

I found out because of the ultrasound the kid actually isn't mine. We hadn't had sex for a while before we broke up. By the timing according to the doctor, she cheated on me right before I broke up with her. I had no idea. Totally oblivious. To going from thinking I'm going to have a child to finding this out has just made me so...angry. I hate the world. I'm filled with uncontrollable rage. Nothing helps. I've gone so far as to scream into a pillow. Work out. Punch things (like boxing). It only provides a temporary relief. In 28 years I've never felt this kind of devastation and rage. I'm totally lost.",0.2687500000000007,2.6411206250000028,2.1552000000000007,93.2898,90.14583333333334,5.155333333333333,18.6175,6.742157984588678,0.1615960000000003,728,21,157,10,25,240,108,192,0.262,0.6809999999999999,0.057,-0.9917,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,2,1,0,2,5,18,5,1,12,0,14,3,0,1,4,29,30,9,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,3,10,16,0,0,6,0,0,5,5,13,0,0,16,2,23,5,32,13,2,28,0,6,0,1,16,17,0,0,7,104,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.18796518630388884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741677306783667,0.0,0.3278036319173585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715038138663926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849413256517803,0.0,0.17604730546558015,0.0,0.0,0.42238645469939423,0.0,0.0,0.10063377916391428,0.0,0.21893593848426846,0.0,0.15405241061594507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19016817521664173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582125533764934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21743973585549672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005796625384238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136050200158518,0.09410232578224784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102628439301484,0.0,0.0,0.18225767938026305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855714035743742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482000646940733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464929570521526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449279759273686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796534514322944,0.12342039476223515,0.0,0.0,0.1123157924770798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402265596395565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403822748813705
mentalhealth,Inspaceflying44,2019/01/10,"Searching for an accountability buddy for simple daily tasks Hey there. I have ADD, Depression and Borderline, tho I think that is more on the milder side. Currently not going to school or working, have to first be in a better condition mentally (am also often suicidal). 
It would be great if we could help each other do better, do the little things we gotta do or want to do in our day-to-day life. ^^ I'm not looking for a harsh and strict person, but rather someone struggling himself at the moment who has the compassion to be an understanding and also flexible human.. 
I would also love to be able to support this person in his daily-life goals or tasks. 
Dm me so we can figure out if we could work together : ) 
",3.5354347826086965,5.614476818840584,4.9703623188405786,79.91032608695654,74.28985507246377,7.7884057971014515,24.54347826086957,8.59863814320734,1.8649739130434784,563,18,102,11,12,188,94,138,0.041,0.779,0.18,0.9572,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,5,0,0,6,8,7,0,1,8,0,18,2,0,0,0,28,27,14,1,8,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,6,10,0,0,3,0,1,1,2,2,0,1,0,1,11,5,15,18,2,12,0,1,1,1,14,8,0,6,3,80,17,4,0.16579173503072206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39775077181549306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29325863342446795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647424196515403,0.0,0.0,0.21384390697357064,0.0,0.14279617844495174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102236512238506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422326368999244,0.0,0.0,0.18278597316761172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111126705251307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710360549630278,0.0,0.16616687355236076,0.0,0.0,0.13922330171035355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963351380672954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707907427872834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28952589628699205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779008704938994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047479907701524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332151869906556,0.0,0.1813492490361389,0.18813849619191533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014466187768228,0.10623264943083473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259504312655286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778826083685692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413967153447997,0.0,0.0,0.2355473835371279,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dpchmd,2019/01/10,"PTSD/gaslighting I’m having a seriously hard time right now and I need help. My current relationship is a mess and we’re trying to fix it and work on it but I’m having such extreme flashbacks to my previous relationship that was emotionally and mentally abusive, I feel so confused and I literally can’t even THINK STRAIGHT. I hope this makes sense to some? I just feel like I’m back in that relationship and I don’t trust my current partner or what he’s telling me and he’s nothing like the last guy, but it’s like this wave of insecurity and confusion has come over me and I feel so terrible about everything and like I can’t even talk to my current partner. I’m so angry and sad and untrusting.",2.477285714285713,4.8438698714285735,4.240000000000002,82.47500000000002,78.85714285714286,7.7142857142857135,28.57142857142857,8.634040054169528,2.3865000000000007,562,26,112,13,14,189,82,140,0.221,0.615,0.16399999999999998,-0.883,3,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,10,13,0,3,3,0,8,0,0,1,0,27,20,18,0,2,4,0,4,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,8,13,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,1,4,14,6,9,19,1,13,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,5,11,67,22,1,0.0,0.1985192564912691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883554575842346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432941965596138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847110769185502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22133028308969774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505830638511571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541548206401171,0.11969769587802702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590076233992865,0.0,0.0,0.1500918175999903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123051791549058,0.0,0.0,0.16641487529636909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365755468787245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274257093289946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118408722278293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885091056623142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423614219765505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076866648457222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19585688955377406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5396577287986742,0.0,0.14308671566721518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467027851375907,0.14644601459351408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073592229649036,0.0,0.0,0.09769970538707323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375539698861135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197833681334967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EpilepsyAction,2019/01/10,Almost 9 in 10 Health Boards and Trusts in England and Wales do not enable mental health provision within epilepsy clinics This is a finding in the new Epilepsy12 National Audit report from the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH).  Full info - epilepsy.org.uk/epilepsy12,10.980666666666671,13.324589288888884,7.828888888888893,65.65000000000002,56.111111111111114,9.555555555555557,37.22222222222222,9.725611199111238,4.273222222222223,238,10,27,4,3,67,38,45,0.0,0.931,0.069,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,4,0,0,0,7,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,1,17,1,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26805204861844506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446630631764377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8536232497558672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26976773475912136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585358805035425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,__need_some_advice,2019/01/10,"I want to help a person who may be in a very bad place, but my hands are kind of tied. WHAT DO I DO? First things first: this is technically a sock account.  Too much personally identifiable stuff on my main account.  I will try to keep this as vague as possible.  Mods, please edit or delete if this is not appropriate.

I work in the mental health field as a peer mentor helping people who are currently receiving mental health services find jobs.  The severity of the symptoms and diagnoses we deal with ranges the entire spectrum.  The whole idea is that we get people who have recent mental health hurdles (which they may still be overcoming) into jobs to get them fully stable.  Most of the time (95%), the referrals are stable and ready to go.  Not all the time though.  As a peer mentor, I've had my own issues.  But, part of my job is to literally say (in a nice, supportive way), ""If I can do it, so can you.""

We recently got a referral for a person that had a lot of promise, as far as having a stellar resume and a cordial disposition.  I did this person's intake interview and paperwork and could immediately tell they were very symptomatic.  But, I did my best to be accommodating and we got through it.  At this person's next appointment, they brought me a thank you card and said that they had been having a bad day when we did the intake  and that I had made the situation more bearable.  I certainly thought it was unexpected and absolutely a nice gesture.

(pause here to point out that I'm generally a very compassionate person, but especially so at work because I have a strong attachment to my work — this has caused some people in the past to get a little more attached than most folks may be comfortable with; but I'm always nothing less than professional)

So, things progress, this person exhibits some more symptomatic behaviors.  Nothing too damaging, but I can see that they are still struggling internally quite a bit.  Eventually, they say they want to be discharged, stop receiving services, etc.

After hearing this, I reached out to the person.  We had an interesting phone conversation.  The big revelation (besides them wanting to discharge — which I let them know in a kind and supportive way that I didn't want that to happen) was that they said (paraphrasing), ""Since I'm discharging, we should see each other outside of a working relationship.""

Now, here's where it gets tricky.  

I let them down easy.  Basically explained that, even though they would not be working with me anymore, it would still be an inappropriate relationship.  They said they understood.  We wished each other well and hung up.

Then, as a last effort, I texted saying something along the lines of, ""You're going to be successful in whatever job you find.""  I could tell I was losing them and wanted to maybe say one last thing that might strike a chord.  They texted back some unkind things and implied that they would be ending their mental health services as well.

Because of my job, I have some knowledge of this person's medical and mental health history.  I'm not going on anything other than my own experiences with similar situations, but I feel like this person is headed down a terrible path into some seriously damaging behaviors.  I have some contact with their mental health team, but as this person is going to be discharged soon, I feel like I have two things working against me:

1)  Time, obviously.

2)  I'm just a peer mentor who cares a lot.  I'm not a clinician, I'm not licensed in any way.

I have this person's contact information, but as you can understand, it's a slippery slope.  I want to continue to reach out, but I don't want them to get the wrong idea.  I've mentioned it to other people I work with and they're not as concerned as me.

**HELP.**",5.6930793520846725,7.090459100286534,6.177831120987077,76.14233115022515,67.59598853868195,9.422887550435648,30.577276182679377,9.708761845414244,2.9252999473714985,2964,114,534,65,49,959,297,698,0.05,0.7959999999999999,0.154,0.9972,6,0,1,0,0,0,105.0,8,4,21,17,21,30,0,1,44,0,64,11,2,2,3,107,111,47,0,16,21,0,3,2,0,9,9,9,0,12,48,37,0,2,13,1,2,7,9,10,2,4,23,14,72,20,74,65,26,60,0,3,2,0,77,25,0,17,27,388,120,23,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038952458581585414,0.0,0.0,0.03183468431347301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046426265558277904,0.0,0.0,0.03852339952269807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0359965776823894,0.07817438620333465,0.057073969128642224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049127724237646164,0.0,0.051108055278633165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04772933179345325,0.04809020731447584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475330386018111,0.0,0.0,0.030190738941050968,0.04826250982192989,0.0,0.04751456635210026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04146273448393721,0.0,0.052209261465317736,0.0309197771539018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579244053804202,0.0,0.0,0.04734047419739396,0.0668869353207162,0.0,0.0,0.08557311033848779,0.07963882573068963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229022002634875,0.0,0.10642042587035024,0.0,0.0748818273400141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04139689212180353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04804400428406362,0.298562421276397,0.052762049423378865,0.0,0.09413400816800392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569315138976666,0.0,0.04886097646815482,0.23227513969090305,0.04160985775056309,0.0,0.09749780349471493,0.0257273937056521,0.07631825912319529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573964720641384,0.0,0.045741277811531325,0.04691927650470746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05237216592911912,0.0,0.07959807475613573,0.0,0.044295925082174274,0.0,0.0,0.04703030371683397,0.0,0.0,0.0471595266148478,0.2830610861230652,0.049661568081493454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034413199760622834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04978653039871244,0.0,0.0,0.0898373466412345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03172193851072453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050694297739132234,0.044688641041213575,0.12981793429839972,0.4905073541826762,0.0489099885962362,0.05138700215371322,0.044253748573313635,0.05277501997305885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049791761682153775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244507398909048,0.10052004019153864,0.0,0.0,0.13359065225843908,0.14891142423035975,0.0,0.0,0.07460836038976272,0.0,0.0,0.05288576229636953,0.0,0.038724488110846285,0.10524033696137107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03603920507274578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215560892077353,0.039138058011279404,0.0,0.04893947924882135,0.05359008746328231,0.0,0.10624647302191376,0.0,0.0486569967133904,0.0,0.0,0.08183386517376708,0.043099444482637334,0.0,0.0,0.1555035530149765,0.0,0.091987760315034,0.037164571983347404,0.08189172515572793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03178319275465847,0.0,0.04572984216265709,0.04873434986573828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587775301754775,0.1932820932188522,0.11147477829900247,0.0,0.0,0.08418165009943941,0.0,0.0,0.052265435140786735,0.05383304390761997,0.0,0.0,0.2385647420186697,0.0,0.0,0.0997645852798968,0.05118305097457545,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crusoesmom,2019/01/10,"What are some things about mental illness you wish more people understood? I'm guest speaking at a meeting for an advocacy organization next month. Definitely planning on discussing statistics, the stigma surrounding mental health, how we talk about it (""died by"" versus ""commit"" which implies a conscious, deliberate choice), coping skills, and warning signs that someone is struggling. Looking for some input from those with experience-- what do you wish someone had told you, or perhaps told someone who is not as understanding about mental health? I know I personally become irritated when people say suicide is for selfish, weak-minded individuals, because everyone I know who has killed themselves had suffered such a sickness that they were truly convinced the world was better off without them. What components of this issue do you feel are overlooked? Anything helps, and research based suggestions are especially appreciated! Thanks!

​

​",10.319781818181816,13.153473426666665,8.608181818181816,57.6340909090909,58.06666666666667,9.987878787878788,42.96969696969697,10.230975488527342,5.418733333333334,794,44,91,17,11,240,115,150,0.159,0.695,0.146,-0.535,0,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,1,4,2,3,6,7,1,1,6,0,13,4,0,1,1,21,25,6,3,2,4,0,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,12,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,7,4,10,3,15,18,3,8,0,1,1,0,20,5,0,3,3,66,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611744314531862,0.2928986096478523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918061211658843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347003722720201,0.1331087915697373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659328545164024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250844163557444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516541664471565,0.0,0.11789515824530213,0.0,0.0,0.060940328046861975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562217947540912,0.0,0.0,0.0807843948246711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257952728670923,0.0,0.0,0.1333414506740036,0.0,0.13247318188456325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120942710151327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36437817191510574,0.0,0.12169442777722407,0.0,0.09620074749469716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281781623970138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711170803916353,0.10523651477258232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584516416845597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063576375963996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599738259613566,0.0,0.13183320158878498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687226388373292,0.0,0.11096189169790867,0.0,0.0,0.08007049100244905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303308332894313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546926571057132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771922682322501,0.11618040100086224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928986096478523,0.0
mentalhealth,Kevynneapplepie,2019/01/10,"Just wanted to share something with you I stopped working due to psychosis triggering again. 

Now the company owner contacted us and wanted to help me with my medication expenses. I was left in tears. I don't know if I'll ever get to work with them again but that good deed they offered me is enough to love them back. 

Some people just seem to care. Have a great day guys! ",2.817847358121334,5.1231012739726065,3.510019569471627,88.47191780821919,77.35616438356162,6.911154598825831,24.127201565557733,7.957251820313856,1.3278352250489234,295,10,59,5,7,93,58,73,0.034,0.6920000000000001,0.274,0.9734,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,1,1,3,2,7,5,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,1,1,16,11,3,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,11,5,10,10,2,10,0,0,0,1,12,2,0,3,8,40,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791346093095657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237521891077156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502422333781501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407136482223661,0.0,0.0,0.21072889114252447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171385280061267,0.0,0.0,0.19539879395661136,0.0,0.25684316404015856,0.0,0.23067056588285684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615057376383648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803068838041418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25311560604625943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210258722081072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346862929557827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150761016161605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120812893195665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17934674172350662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476798024651198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28022649686094425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27481590500701564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3392005145887527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adecentcupoftea,2019/01/10,"Friends don't understand... [I also posted this on r/mentalillness as I didn't know where was more appropriate]

Hey,
I don't really know how to start this post but I've been unwell for many many years. Multiple diagnosis' and living with my family, mostly housebound currently, while I recover. I'm 21 so it's not unusual to still live at home I guess.

The majority of my friends, who I became close with a couple of years ago, have never been through anything similar and have never been able to be empathetic or relate to my experiences. (I don't blame them for their lack of understanding, it isn't their fault, and I wouldn't wish my illnesses on anyone!)

Over the past few months they have grown increasingly frustrated when I have to leave events due to my severe panic attacks, turn down invitations because I can't leave my bed etc and have slowly stopped inviting me to things. I can understand the logic, but it hurts to be left out.
Whenever they speak to me I can sense their annoyance towards me. Today one of them informed me that they all think I'm 'not trying hard enough'. This statement has completely broken my heart because I fight all day every day to stay safe and alive and they don't even know the half of it.
Knowing my friends believe I'm not trying hard enough has made me want to give up even more than usual. I don't know what to do, but I'm so low right now.",5.676049489906667,6.23141810701107,6.171708270023878,79.20747341002824,67.19188191881919,9.771304536574778,29.594313001953548,9.773937934552695,2.5970805730410254,1101,37,216,23,17,357,157,271,0.154,0.721,0.125,-0.8947,1,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,9,0,10,12,4,1,5,0,25,2,1,2,4,43,45,17,0,4,7,0,2,0,3,1,1,1,2,0,11,10,0,2,12,0,0,2,14,8,0,2,6,3,36,4,32,36,12,38,0,2,0,0,18,13,0,3,20,147,47,0,0.1048556428222392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294820073445344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385301968164438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331750347644025,0.0,0.08628725976291987,0.0,0.0,0.11928843116238373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278380532590937,0.0,0.0,0.11813640258685053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993914653702944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602077439660675,0.0,0.13524643025888972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166878174309925,0.11694175908420858,0.1385123263339383,0.0,0.08834540146452863,0.0,0.0,0.102568938900524,0.0988485681395747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430336286163815,0.0,0.0,0.10058708714479236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551031209839592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786012044306188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425444160458975,0.0,0.0,0.10517875915724537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225013431719474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881295954157051,0.0,0.0,0.22205397157826656,0.11392596272983313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517890731293454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921694454178104,0.0,0.21261432815567669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369477371952648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617422717796944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105289726171479,0.0,0.0,0.1230255044415578,0.0,0.0,0.10009657573711994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20084544209380212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717320977411104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954614604869351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845703041700993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421736367861269,0.11176216376129608,0.0837378518053958,0.08766401252427601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966142988058133,0.06718726203520115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939088894697758,0.0,0.0,0.142380197142274,0.11405282933478668,0.0,0.3274752663324241,0.0,0.0,0.11548367667506057,0.0,0.06184657485258465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120578814461807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504719230046364
mentalhealth,mknz8,2019/01/10,I don’t know what to do tbh I only have one friend and idk if she’s even my friend anymore and I have literally nothing at all to do or keep me sane. I am beyond depressed and just really really alone and I hate it. ,-0.9450000000000004,1.0802645000000022,2.2800000000000007,92.965,91.5,5.7,16.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.027808333333333657,168,4,40,3,6,60,35,48,0.213,0.665,0.122,-0.5907,0,1,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,10,9,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,8,2,4,9,1,2,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082566679457649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951706586656601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25634973691539925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19658292301921595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4598990079789377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938496732104288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645487198146657,0.0,0.0,0.16357059208898755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285585631990815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016829346872293,0.22636231066720225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3813409615009027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thrillah24,2019/01/10,"Someone please help... an old high school friend just messaged me for the first time in 10 years saying he wants to kill himself. Idk what to do. He messaged me out of the blue saying he was depressed. We haven't talked since freshman year, and we weren't even close. Mostly just mutual friends. He then made a post saying he was ready for life to end. I gave him my number and told him to text me, and he said ""he's just trying to figure out what to do"" and ""I don't want to live anymore honestly"" I've never dealt with this before and I'm scared that I am unequipped to do so.",1.6477954545454525,3.487471158333335,2.529545454545456,96.35727272727276,79.08333333333334,5.03030303030303,19.24242424242424,5.565023196281405,-0.3999166666666669,449,10,101,2,11,141,80,120,0.105,0.7759999999999999,0.119,0.2211,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,2,0,0,1,5,6,1,1,4,0,9,1,0,1,1,20,16,7,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,0,4,11,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,7,5,12,3,15,9,1,14,0,1,1,0,24,5,0,1,8,58,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781239538079257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283410583745452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546970451040457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908034198219648,0.0,0.0,0.11863010929878574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277539928301945,0.0,0.0,0.27753107312180675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038818630676865,0.1897668636685002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871084559086566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686321117684196,0.0,0.0,0.15859811610846214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995046270332018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852560192513155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18846952532199115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715684403833653,0.0,0.0,0.17201585864862315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708493736315609,0.4284970694732891,0.17982003106900976,0.18177398685986246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857449438472153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218219818940146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14436298220348492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473150412797852,0.0,0.0,0.1716241814426083,0.0,0.12194278152725024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118761883135009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23132472909990764
mentalhealth,karen255shana,2019/01/10,"My birthday's next week My 25th birthday is next week Saturday.  I never thought I would make it this far.  I'm a college dropout, no job, minimal family support.  I am grateful to have some money coming in on a monthly basis.  I know I wasn't an easy kid, but I dont understand why my whole family not only pushed me away but also sided with my parents in saying that I'm lying about the emotional and psychological abuse I was put through as a kid.

Am I wrong for being upset and hurt about it?  According to my family, I am a liar and a monster.  They think that I deserve whatever happens to me.",4.271838842975207,4.887727619834717,6.302138429752066,76.81866219008265,70.32231404958678,9.355785123966943,31.65392561983471,9.516144504307137,2.9646438016528927,466,20,90,10,8,164,82,121,0.24,0.7140000000000001,0.046,-0.9809,2,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,4,5,1,1,7,0,10,0,0,1,1,16,20,7,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,0,1,3,5,4,0,0,3,1,18,1,13,15,2,16,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,1,7,64,23,3,0.0,0.19498890317656686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160681512946645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546192208427592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176274751494478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19287517426435147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18511944492862675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654267174520803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455289790658717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617591747354386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163310636180807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044353689627092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985195789796896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313584490341189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692676627237673,0.0,0.35004477721845695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251631343708549,0.0,0.0,0.18273585045066534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654386132583317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308729135735965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675243424958787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054500077312939,0.0,0.13065044115492924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17132349357367424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640167472538608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849910488305035,0.18373687073156192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169060244103573,0.17993179613315188,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,you-only-live-once-,2019/01/10,Pls check out my channel would appreciate it a lot haven’t done any videos as of yet but I will be doing lots of them so pls check out my channel you might like it :) [my YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-l2cMLDiXv49knGphqIaAQ),5.198571428571427,8.676191238095235,3.1383809523809525,87.52328571428568,77.09523809523809,6.217142857142857,25.06666666666667,7.554174236665415,1.3482895238095247,200,7,35,3,5,55,33,42,0.0,0.721,0.279,0.885,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,5,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,3,2,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715904362207749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40870190507906173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511570260603855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6790730397223884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4236764783294025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837063601107627,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AtomiusTech,2019/01/10,"I hear random hyper realistic voices in my head at night, and sometimes during the day. Should I be worried? I quite honestly don't know what to do, I suffer from bipolar disorder, PTSD, and also pretty bad anxiety. I don't know what to do, and I don't know if I should be worried and talk to my psychologist about that.",5.042031250000001,5.410031640625,6.6906250000000025,75.591875,68.53125,9.525,30.0625,9.516144504307137,2.6833250000000004,251,9,48,5,4,87,40,64,0.231,0.674,0.095,-0.8078,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,9,2,1,0,0,11,13,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,9,1,7,9,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18416221338162445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617063000061722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228188718569075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851750147462436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639314079743091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363431875926415,0.0,0.25955269820792565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796828133367061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216110841374115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23428693655805244,0.0,0.0,0.2691957853254278,0.0,0.0,0.2449409421045456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22776193614874396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509775922154634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4677397814942466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OkStart3,2019/01/10,What should someone do if their life is ruined? I understand it's possible for people to overreact to a situation and believe their life is ruined when it's not. And that probably is the case most of the time. But what should someone do if their life is truly ruined?  I've searched thoroughly on the internet and I haven't found any answer to this.,3.630784313725492,5.799704823529414,4.794705882352943,80.87284313725492,74.29411764705881,8.650980392156864,27.509803921568626,9.2995712137729,2.6093450980392165,280,11,52,7,6,92,44,68,0.165,0.794,0.041,-0.8299,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,0,0,13,11,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,6,8,1,3,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,3,2,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17055845488362828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28257541546741066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749986944826233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5314606140149839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387910990489014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827490222432662,0.0,0.0,0.2704141011291216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819193852656996,0.0,0.0,0.4250186414255144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624851700303582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611006074698427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SGBarrett,2019/01/10,"I can feel myself [m16] deteriorating I can feel myself deteriorating. This happened at about 9:30-9:50. I was in  bio class and we were presenting our projects when one student presents her video that was narrated by my first crush at this new school. 

The reason this affected me was because I had liked this girl freshman year of high school, but was completely new to this school and was having severe social anxiety. I decided in March of my freshman year to start being more social and to see a therapist about my anxiety. I later started eating breakfast at school with this girl and her friends and eventually built up the courage to tell her I had liked her. She rejected me and said to leave her alone. That put me into a spiral and I started becoming really manic which in turn left me with few friends and more anxiety. 

I spent my sophomore year mostly by myself again but choose a few friends to hang around. I was eating lunch with one of my friends and his friends when he said that I was the type of person to shoot up the school. This made me really suicidal and I had to go to my cities intensive out patient program (a program that took place for three hours every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons for six weeks). This program was to try and help my mental health while still allowing me to live a relatively normal life outside of the meetings.

This year, my junior year I started being more social and I felt better. I eventually texted this girl saying that I still liked her and asking if she could block my Instagram accounts. She went to the school therapist with this because I had posted a meme about suicide on my meme account. The therapist got really nervous and said that I couldn’t come back to school until I got clearance from my personal therapist despite my telling him that I was mentally healthy. This put my into depression and I had to work to get out of it. I eventually got better, but now I’m freaking out because I heard the girls voice on a video presentation in class. And I am starting to become really jumpy and manic and anxious. I fear that this might lead to serious depression again.",6.7455112219451365,7.516259132169581,6.6735800498753175,75.78532269326686,64.91022443890274,9.907271820448877,33.496359102244384,9.888512548439397,3.2808780249376563,1716,70,304,35,25,544,186,401,0.152,0.7390000000000001,0.109,-0.9459,0,2,0,1,0,1,32.0,2,0,0,5,12,18,0,2,15,0,24,6,0,5,0,51,51,27,2,4,4,0,3,3,5,1,2,6,0,6,23,31,4,1,6,2,3,8,1,7,0,5,27,10,60,11,53,19,6,63,0,3,1,0,38,20,0,3,37,218,83,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885035780968843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256468814733432,0.07510034356015638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059178825264510876,0.06214723268500622,0.0,0.0,0.05111688351560132,0.0,0.12157170012647332,0.14683774686607362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175874086316143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057264244032945825,0.06970010683684752,0.0,0.0,0.05307665578020563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451347494711812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604559681972453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05600993017121352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480536118852943,0.06722576591789177,0.0,0.063828562125847,0.0,0.0,0.056545494603873626,0.0,0.0,0.2568007001006841,0.0,0.03473160691741175,0.0,0.037780539589717235,0.0,0.15950373168867282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587855915406479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706621827829478,0.0,0.0,0.04455828340902357,0.07023683928119086,0.0,0.0,0.06546667694096454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038978393987483,0.07222770072246762,0.0,0.04695483079537606,0.09743224440850247,0.0,0.058700608610304815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290235873587098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398681669888374,0.07052183163694856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840823852431232,0.0,0.0,0.0651335671761236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009337776769112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609069945728122,0.06945455237113643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366680664978963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365594682902887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034805327518296,0.06834966024929416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970519560276572,0.05286535843551563,0.0,0.4709495133995673,0.052973742406619166,0.0,0.0,0.07510034356015638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329548115841806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23526461412933236,0.0,0.10617759735215596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454305914369009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620805151611313,0.0,0.0,0.3087407331708548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738586442677867,0.0451336728765916,0.07230813263591998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05332402097361942,0.0,0.0,0.06162505464852261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048396212377647484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21404577049786835
mentalhealth,sesame-chicken,2019/01/10,"How do I stay in work with depression? I feel like I’m failing as a person and an adult. Each day at work is getting harder and harder, and I can’t cope with it at all. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone know how to stay in work with depression? ",-0.5757575757575779,1.2837052727272749,1.9304545454545448,97.54901515151516,87.18181818181819,5.121212121212121,16.439393939393938,6.42735559955562,-0.4897878787878791,190,4,47,2,6,65,34,55,0.196,0.76,0.044,-0.8611,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,4,2,4,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,2,1,13,10,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,10,10,2,7,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,30,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685952709290179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550112504176558,0.0,0.4153490593042535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21100393542276832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191647597760275,0.17225470554522818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597417262845115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650242296773723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779804685187124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21053488611633486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5139992876326954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5266101992161392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Qlonk,2019/01/10,"Triple arthrodesis (Health and mental health issue) Triple arthrodesis.

* Age: 31
* Sex: Female
* Height: 165cm
* Weight: 66
* Duration of complaint: Almost 3 years, car accident.
* Location (Geographic and on body): Belgium and on the left foot
* Any existing relevant medical issues (if any) Had first operation.
* Current medications (if any): Sometimes Painkillers but not much.

As I am the husband in this story.. My wife is recovering from the operation as we speak (2018-2019)I was wondering if we could get any help in cooping wit this as a joung couple.. or just help.. long story short:We live in a small apartment on the 3e floor, no elevator.. she can't get up the stairs alone, she can't cook,Do some simple tasks in the house.. (For me it is no problem ofc.) but for her it is very frustrating. She was aBallet dancer.. Hiking.. Traveling.. all the stuff.. now it's all gone. She can't sleep cause of the pain. (all of what I'msaying now is before the operation she had in October.. now she is just in pain and her cast had just come off..)When I ask her to tell me what kind of pain she has on a scale from 1-10 she sometimes just lays there in my armsand tells me it is a 15/10

We tried everything... and we are still trying to get our 'social security' to acknowledge her handicap...

This all is so very hard.. It weighs on my mental health.

Kind regards.

S&E",1.6714636948529424,4.409179910156251,2.8800643382352966,87.82467830882355,87.7890625,6.449264705882354,22.373161764705888,7.724431198458867,1.3534879595588234,1051,38,205,22,34,337,152,256,0.121,0.8370000000000001,0.042,-0.9664,1,1,0,0,0,0,79.0,5,0,0,1,10,8,1,0,13,0,19,14,3,1,4,32,26,15,0,5,11,2,2,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,11,10,2,1,2,1,0,4,6,5,0,1,6,3,25,3,27,19,8,32,0,0,0,1,26,19,0,7,9,128,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085920855056774,0.11231640039425224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750020184233465,0.0,0.2949855000177399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138151335303143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227877805509943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045803973169612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140297254819714,0.0,0.09341583639778064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658457431224285,0.11999242139482255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746344778858973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224333198056388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997423947982174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714549335116864,0.0,0.0,0.3458161554999761,0.0,0.0,0.14537690607453085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513106536795549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263769829298057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258577313922655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782589970446528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575899486659648,0.09597048565832178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184940237210589,0.21857427369513927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971961366600891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461796419507748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376729835510384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852340048312743,0.11054610504347052,0.0,0.0,0.21450991952948653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660438316143597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241436744800732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18957156445282847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472541853183262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895710109883167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320568955035298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760406627543694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698350777737043
mentalhealth,Jbot_James,2019/01/10,"If my moms sister had schizophrenia gene (but she does not and either does my dad) could I have the gene? I’m asking because I smoke weed a lot and my aunt has schizophrenia and bipolar. I now have learned however that if you do have the schizophrenia gene, smoking weed will make it 10% more likely it will come out in that person (so now I’m really anxious and scared and can’t get it out of my mind).

I called my mom and asked her and she said “No, because I don’t have it and either does dad. It wasn’t passed to me like it was my sister so you can’t get it”. I don’t think either of my grand parents have it though (or at least suffer from it).

Do you think I’m in danger of getting it now?",2.317693715680292,3.2060410134228188,3.3933984136668687,94.85951799877978,75.10738255033556,5.955094569859671,21.59914582062233,5.565023196281405,-0.093085906040268,537,12,127,2,11,173,76,149,0.101,0.862,0.037000000000000005,-0.8561,2,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,3,0,0,6,6,1,1,3,0,18,1,0,1,0,26,31,15,0,3,8,8,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,1,12,11,0,0,3,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,4,1,20,3,10,24,6,10,0,1,0,0,19,5,0,4,5,89,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949537596955211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226572900271593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21039282368704235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762121615786251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865284419640745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778224047840235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.453048674174686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704804143828989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861691493945827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467119245750106,0.0,0.0,0.11519109405209282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742454152285999,0.40422126662129454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19161736339285534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506805245621212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055206896692887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415256070881112,0.0,0.1727715937102101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221150391687174,0.16954808762033682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emmaememma,2019/01/10,"Codeine and mental health I get migraines and severe period pain which I have to take codeine for as no other pain killers help. I don’t like taking codeine as it is super constipating to the point I have had a couple of bowel obstructions. I notice when I take it though it helps massively with my anxiety, depression and OCD. I almost feel normal.  Obviously it is addictive and you can’t take it too often but has anyone else noticed this effect ?",5.601568627450976,7.013580470588237,6.3161764705882355,75.01112745098041,67.82352941176471,9.431372549019608,29.46078431372549,9.725611199111238,2.913313725490197,360,13,62,8,6,118,62,85,0.16399999999999998,0.745,0.091,-0.6369,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,2,0,8,6,1,1,1,12,14,9,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,9,2,7,13,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,44,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18548358314321686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703760247927176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016075317881595,0.0,0.0,0.11896960868629995,0.17433405292962273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882626313630717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654597006595196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421346358920989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086030618531256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889394073512957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085658701190774,0.0,0.0,0.22808972899178634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312444032832864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17146652861817602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667063511973373,0.0,0.3874232951786689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36209336978894097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608423838854762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221585414977144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5117126161549053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671669760680797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CSCOH,2019/01/10,New Free Private Peer Support Group for Teens in Hoarded Homes [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChildofHoarder/comments/ae896z/new\_resource\_for\_teens\_in\_hoarded\_homes/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ChildofHoarder/comments/ae896z/new_resource_for_teens_in_hoarded_homes/),83.48000000000002,105.21046033333334,29.40666666666667,-94.395,-96.0,8.133333333333335,45.33333333333334,8.841846274778883,4.8872333333333335,252,4,8,1,1,41,12,12,0.0,0.625,0.375,0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.408654368139566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.786936896868218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4623115051000479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amelie90,2019/01/10,"How to tell if someone is faking depression? I know this sounds insensitive, but I suspect a colleague is faking depression to get out of doing certain jobs.

​

This colleague (Di) was my friend when I first started working. She's the loud type, always broadcasting all the good work she's done. But I realize she's constantly badmouthing another colleague who's a bit slow. When I first started I always thought Di was the hard working one. After a few months I realize Di's critics on this other colleague can easily be applied to Di as well. 

​

9 months into the job, Di's father died of stroke. I get the sense that she was sad, and she still misses her dad, but never once did it occur to me she has depression because nothing really changed much in her lifestyle. I know because we still hang out as often as we used to before. Her appetite is still the same, she has no trouble socializing, and she still sticks to her weekly gym schedule. She talks to me about missing her dad, but that was it. No other self blame or regrets or suicidal thoughts or anything.

​

This goes on for another 7 months. And then Di and I got into an argument. We were working together, and she was doing something wrongly, and I tried to advice her. Wrong move on my part. From the way Di has been handling the other slow colleague, I should have realized that Di is someone who always thinks she's right. I thought it was a small argument, but the next day I found out from my boss Di took an emergency leave because she's not feeling well. And she wouldn't even reply my text. 

​

In the past 2 months, Di has been taking leave from work more frequently on days that she and I are supposed to be working together. Then I found out from my boss that Di claims to have depression (not clinically diagnosed) from the stress at work and the trauma of her father's death. So now I keep on having to do these works on my own. On the one hand, I'm still concerned if she has depression (she's been ignoring me so I can't really find out), but I feel like it's actually more plausible that she's faking it. Can someone advice how I can tell if she's for real or not..",4.787704402515722,6.013452424528308,5.367754716981132,81.75145911949686,69.56603773584905,8.389182389937108,30.642767295597487,8.745826893841286,2.438635786163521,1724,70,326,29,30,555,191,424,0.232,0.7120000000000001,0.056,-0.9979,2,0,1,0,0,0,63.0,3,0,0,10,17,24,0,1,19,0,36,4,1,5,3,66,58,33,3,6,16,4,5,1,1,2,3,2,0,1,21,19,0,2,15,1,0,3,8,18,2,4,19,7,57,6,43,35,9,53,0,9,0,0,40,19,0,8,31,234,78,13,0.0,0.0,0.06210563187767616,0.0,0.0,0.1243808929652671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886629040973066,0.27582530025196306,0.3093290813346032,0.0,0.1334688456347655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052372129162909585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638713042253668,0.0,0.05415484668291344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948082737974924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732503623658258,0.0,0.0,0.06877463677300996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208794129982151,0.0,0.27407477912093986,0.06459551952692126,0.06605058256697864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512809310047941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04203508991563453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435884319706736,0.04546601882660624,0.0,0.0,0.058167841403490364,0.1082680895047346,0.0,0.13956083135132447,0.04916982578038094,0.0,0.06650087248719537,0.0,0.0,0.053380079514642416,0.0509005017988512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701093370815175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263101778965,0.05656813447314785,0.0,0.0,0.06995220582147994,0.0,0.0,0.1347758558167997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031092376832041718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20319446979973055,0.06764161417076195,0.04678435873008646,0.0,0.04908480795439934,0.0,0.06768422914177631,0.0,0.0,0.06106643209376724,0.0,0.0,0.06777689341760884,0.08625123854932235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891832864990316,0.06075370579240672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243878601483013,0.0815416789974075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054350113096513615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663927213613063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487523454686189,0.1617715541761508,0.048994894697347226,0.0,0.0,0.09009258996951623,0.0,0.25412381866258776,0.0,0.07290195462728925,0.0,0.0,0.06961426547208165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0478510334275779,0.05115321037198732,0.11125222098468872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040779368531087726,0.0,0.15157445513467513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070885456305907,0.043208893731610236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054966449290629896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05051623653689756,0.051049954695494656,0.0,0.1144440082334126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706583868511663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916556637286676,0.3093290813346032,0.0
mentalhealth,lokus_,2019/01/10,"need advice for friend suffering from ptsd caused by recently exposed childhood sexual abuse i think she needs cpt-sa, but therapy is just not an option right now. i'm trying to convince her every day, but i need some way of holding her over and prevent her from getting even worse in the meantime as much as i can. she suffers from crippling nightmares almost daily now and is getting close to no sleep. she throws up every other day and can't even walk without constantly tripping. i feel like i'm slowly watching her die. any advice from somebody with experience would be a huge help.",6.680142857142857,7.5997283909090925,6.414935064935065,77.05954545454549,65.0909090909091,8.467532467532468,33.896103896103895,8.418075326091056,2.81761038961039,473,20,79,6,7,148,83,110,0.177,0.7,0.123,-0.8294,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,6,1,1,1,0,22,15,7,1,4,5,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,2,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,2,11,3,16,13,2,17,0,2,1,0,9,6,0,3,8,51,12,0,0.0,0.19976359170133484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32950820358432265,0.0,0.0,0.1688286821673067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465387416253114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319878292464924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18219685093889004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174662798183379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498032284927145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22271759971162167,0.0,0.2841057728292355,0.0,0.0,0.1649232850354306,0.0,0.0,0.08524929473111549,0.1204479709907656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026004699911384,0.0,0.17617322490332069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300911735800567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236951022657323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239404994889378,0.3750445940081309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970845368264528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664722944277053,0.0,0.0,0.14398359510120204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687218972042245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928089493948069,0.0,0.0,0.10803215950326103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446842527770412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382694042695156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625245147890486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718179427026659,0.11976869938382965,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Reijak,2019/01/10,I want to die I'm sick of living. I don't matter and never have. Fuck this life. ,-3.93342105263158,-3.1522886842105216,-0.0743421052631561,104.05585526315792,120.05263157894736,1.9,4.75,3.1291,-2.834484210526316,61,0,16,0,4,22,17,19,0.369,0.446,0.185,-0.6278,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,5,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5092635030799274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536392320161852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465920932282752,0.0,0.0,0.4332923038458224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37845391025150393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28942437658479164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ravaella,2019/01/10,"How to get by with being annoyed by people's presence Hi all!
I am having a friend over for 9 days at my place. He's been here for 3 days and I am already so annoyed by him being here. He is nice and clean, but I live in a small studio and I feel like I don't have any privacy. And he does not seem to take a hint that I am not in the mood for having people around. I want him to leave for a day and leave me alone here so I can ressource. But no hints taken apparently...
Today he left for 2 hours and it was wonderful. But it was not enouuuugh.
I would like some strategies to cope with this, and any advice you would have
TIA",0.8492822384428216,2.294384481751827,2.815784671532846,95.20912712895378,80.0948905109489,5.734549878345499,18.715936739659366,6.42735559955562,-0.2709508515815089,482,10,118,4,12,162,83,137,0.08199999999999999,0.742,0.17600000000000002,0.945,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,7,7,2,0,5,0,17,0,0,1,1,25,24,13,0,3,6,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,4,10,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,1,14,4,19,16,2,13,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,3,7,81,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806786716846748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19149696104328615,0.20403783105704076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514718536515804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459704142119638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577287437433729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618041299774544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348920097603376,0.13209006130347636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285053913299872,0.0,0.09660076415606393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820857593572762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915572886415052,0.20089053465384027,0.0,0.0,0.18066213263483755,0.0,0.1632669534025708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25636783652210954,0.0,0.19317743774779345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832278446591312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901912025745006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752602158616671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905671710765348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005123135982543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26269026723680683,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,countessloveless,2019/01/10,I'm going to die by my own hand Not today. But I know it will happen eventually. I'm just too broken to be fixed. One day it will become too much. And that's how it will end.,-1.7692499999999995,0.051290575000003,1.6900000000000013,97.195,93.25,4.2,10.5,5.6839178017228535,-1.5089,133,1,34,1,5,48,31,40,0.162,0.764,0.07400000000000001,-0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,0,6,9,3,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,3,5,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4234544346723365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24727252699693625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3979267649386672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395940441227657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179049648340239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390547725501145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107161956871338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818559321610081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598135776704254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634348976656349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zeond1987,2019/01/10,"What mental illness would ""laziness"" or not wanting to do anything fall under? I have anxiety sometimes and I have been on my meds for close to a decade. I still have problems with wanting to do things but never have the ability to pull through on most of them. Sometimes I've had thoughts of going back to college or something as simple as wanting to read a book. I just have a nagging feeling to not follow through with it. I don't know what I should search for when trying to deal with it. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you for your time.",3.4865005192108,5.394805915887854,3.6036760124610616,90.40142263759087,73.95327102803739,5.503219106957425,28.71131879543095,5.82211442006289,1.089270820353064,431,18,84,2,9,132,70,107,0.108,0.8440000000000001,0.047,-0.6601,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,1,0,4,3,1,0,4,0,13,1,0,0,1,23,22,7,0,6,6,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,2,0,4,4,2,0,0,3,1,10,1,23,17,1,13,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,5,67,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14164869876563707,0.0,0.15934618034238274,0.0,0.0,0.14564569010250028,0.0,0.1714101940099822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016707872830066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21474444816614352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228158844343406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532092140412856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183796476367156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351412882782037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447425723315713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313703498352027,0.0,0.2099137852585892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606510292570828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19931152935370924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20835277381493572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035674966445004,0.4120209430205348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634577877869006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19177134500132784,0.0,0.0,0.1383828764947577,0.0,0.0,0.1653640793100329,0.12145930932605248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141958663649914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685758508311108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796779039950145,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,myusernameforporn7,2019/01/10,"Looking for help for my wife My wife of 20 years has always lived with ADD and depression and anxiety and noe has been diagnosed with OCPD and possibly OCD. Therapy and meds are really not doing enough for this most recent episode. She has been working on mindfulness and we have looked into inpatient visits but havent felt anything has been particularly promising. 

Has anyone found a mindfulness program or retreat that has helped them? Or maybe something that could provide intensive daily therapy if some sort?",8.319475655430711,10.084290853932586,7.430955056179776,68.2061329588015,61.80898876404496,11.326591760299625,37.305243445692895,11.20814326018867,4.850751310861423,422,20,62,12,6,130,67,89,0.039,0.871,0.08900000000000001,0.6907,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,14,1,0,0,0,24,18,10,0,2,5,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,11,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,3,5,1,8,12,3,5,0,1,2,0,8,2,0,6,2,45,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401390497642806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415972026886593,0.0,0.0,0.12942275903859932,0.0,0.15231745079789802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778333199792848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15942209091343829,0.1878675743103944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19125266036222224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772026984247774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20294716295135748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248130613863932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344231570769707,0.0,0.3108664406042681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859528510244348,0.0,0.20559886814586767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737864612802771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20866685203542693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857662536528805,0.0,0.18275902676430167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424952084571079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4233446299755925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475139712768888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919514030888075
mentalhealth,CuriousGuy1912,2019/01/10,"Losing hope with breakdown  

So I recently quit school to work on my mental health which is honestly a long time coming and my mental health usually takes a nosedive during the winter months. It has never been this bad though. I've never been with someone while this has happened so for the first time I find myself juggling my mental health and my gf whom I love deeply. Now the strange thing is that I will love hanging out with her than for some odd reason after a while not. It's as if a switch in my brain says you are aggravated, upset or depressed about this situation now and then my mood drops. This has never happened before. Before this situation, I had always been a fairly level headed and calm person but now I find myself getting annoyed/frustrated at the slightest task, schedule changes and failure. Having more than 1 dedicated thing to do for the day stresses me out beyond belief. The other day I failed at parking between the lines about 6 times and I just cursed and hit the steering wheel a ton while she sat there and watched. That never happened before. I'm just aggravated beyond hell and to add onto it I can't be physical with her anymore which sucks... Up until the month of month of December our sex life was great but since then it has happened 1 time which was great but I just no longer feel the drive to do it and don't really get totally hard in that situation. I will, however, go home and masturbate which gets me off really fast. I recently started taking Adderall for ADHD which might have something to do with that, but I have no clue. I hate that I don't wanna be physical with her, I hate it. It makes me cry, and that's another thing I Find myself crying all the time and just getting sad around people for little reasons. What is wrong with me? Is this just a depressive episode I am going through? I am really fucking scared here, I want to get back to what I was before this happened. Right now I hate and my OCD is having a field day with me not being intimate with my gf.... I hope someone can give me some insight/advice on this because I can't find anything.",4.82359966358284,6.0560741707317085,5.350134566862914,81.88597560975613,69.48780487804878,7.899074852817494,27.79646761984861,8.216663640201805,1.8494962153069805,1670,56,313,23,29,536,206,410,0.189,0.7390000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.995,1,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,1,1,0,5,20,25,6,3,19,0,37,10,2,3,6,63,69,30,0,5,13,0,2,0,2,3,4,1,1,1,33,28,0,0,8,0,0,5,12,16,0,1,8,4,47,8,47,54,6,59,2,5,1,4,14,17,3,7,36,238,80,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593252555564065,0.06987175338335842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949609568803791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497696828047405,0.0,0.0,0.07091160965637659,0.0,0.0,0.058840749664887324,0.06365269225514103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549812748211428,0.05970188957605362,0.04358747114077044,0.0,0.24337462140579755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982082333560525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564052992868887,0.06159337037124815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708503721611133,0.13834026079512995,0.0,0.12317059264518597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03615398726201024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26140922275075945,0.06082028411931933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610322877046698,0.1867864288247636,0.06859204511151175,0.08127343011587639,0.0,0.0,0.15766427986699202,0.0,0.0,0.3161486520430517,0.0,0.06405250525614636,0.21178277087446784,0.07338254837327424,0.22801254441883054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172318433380652,0.14203691906816265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05050457458645523,0.0,0.07166463597389612,0.0,0.06327776847911419,0.0,0.07999339474252637,0.0,0.0,0.12906822000325086,0.0,0.04772870480732652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161741527850484,0.0758532199041051,0.0,0.0,0.17121866804743469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205896107992738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957107023722202,0.06243352696855415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760520779789204,0.0,0.0,0.13741966188398794,0.1470336685510658,0.1412008681409093,0.0,0.0,0.06106303963740936,0.0,0.05686193290274012,0.07158682242879652,0.07236469731515892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059147892944615865,0.24111658362901625,0.0,0.0,0.12116825843976975,0.055046384018044014,0.0,0.0,0.050610082287927495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190626829323634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752248282135117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250994068522324,0.0,0.0702511829692164,0.0,0.2084694220143106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875028281449838,0.0,0.04217423103399413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05205492334495907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817713718919563,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anono30,2019/01/10,I don’t deserve to be happy!! I got accepted to my first choice university and I was SO excited like I was smiling like hyperventilating literally from shock and excitement. I told one friend and he was so proud of me. I’ve never gotten so excited about ANYTHING. Now like an hour later I feel like I don’t deserve to be even happy about it. I’m gonna tell my other friends but it’s gonna have to be so casual cause I don’t deserve to be happy about this anymore. Everyone gets into school like it’s not something I should’ve gotten so excited about lmao I don’t deserve to be happy !! ,2.7593388429752075,4.398681669421492,5.1223884297520685,79.88903719008266,75.28099173553719,8.145785123966942,26.97603305785124,8.841846274778883,2.1634092561983462,466,18,93,10,10,164,64,121,0.013,0.565,0.422,0.9951,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,11,19,0,0,1,0,13,0,0,1,1,10,22,9,0,0,2,0,1,5,2,2,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,1,0,2,7,1,13,18,13,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,10,60,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160309179351625,0.0,0.0,0.1330207047466771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605474458753985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067655139105481,0.0,0.0,0.15445947103569582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173296384537489,0.1154797783288147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749581884190096,0.0,0.0,0.24977425902362285,0.0,0.08445324895040215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928289778292704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6882997591633658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918853333788824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3948598180515207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246711915442538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953536471102693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359416034746144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124442819602721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128553752304795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445947103569582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StrangerBoi,2019/01/10,I like being alone. I noticed this recently. I live with my family and hardly see them. I eat all my meals at a different time than anyone else. Like 3 days ago I ate lunch with my family. I felt kind of nice to have someone to talk to but the very next day I ate lunch with them I almost lost mind. Everything anyone did made me crazy. Even is someone asked to pass around food I got irritated.,0.10329966329966568,2.466531518518522,2.1410774410774422,92.8275757575758,91.8395061728395,5.908417508417509,16.005611672278338,7.348242739294969,0.20558271604938216,307,7,67,6,11,102,59,81,0.14,0.794,0.066,-0.7819,1,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,4,7,0,1,1,11,12,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,3,15,4,11,4,1,9,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,1,8,37,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494959407020563,0.0,0.16887623167283733,0.1746680742460484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.235844676185838,0.17279941791590644,0.0,0.15013213836400668,0.15766276019677575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21752752778842332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17620086948307193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725686195548847,0.14088344723884202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139016334098206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156960759832575,0.0,0.3179719362894438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192816396441628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20392937315142254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348829090384116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151075142951245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562054542965544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16478541813192704,0.0,0.14891893941021986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840988007821052,0.0,0.0,0.15957845704009718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028602151999694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17935865855985078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19200643468365355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651918027188162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439031932624712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857891645570732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555256977413968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833978423116628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915194981261145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HeathMichaelBanks,2019/01/10,"Does anyone know any free and anonymous online “chat to a councillor” sites? Pretty much explained in the headline, but does anyone know where you can go online and chat with a councillor or something along those lines? ",10.008684210526317,10.029697763157897,7.656842105263159,74.00789473684213,58.21052631578947,9.705263157894738,34.78947368421053,8.841846274778883,3.0446947368421053,177,6,27,2,2,51,30,38,0.0,0.8809999999999999,0.119,0.5588,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,16,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22443809886619207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4615424226204005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5776393786185444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875689878661955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627620286867331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24261692228899864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357687051476917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540804423102968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beefcutlet666,2019/01/10,"Cant eat anymore? I have been battling serious manic depression all my life, and while I have not been medicated due to my parents views I have been able to coexist with my depression for the most part. Recently my symptoms have began to change following a traumatic event a year ago. One of my problems has always been eating, I would get down and eat double my normal intake. Recently after issues in my relationship and problems with my family I have almost stopped eating entirely. Smelling food or even thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I never finish even small snacks and this has been going on about a month. I feel hungry but usually I can ignore the feeling and it'll go away because I know if I eat something ill get the urge to vomit. Since this started I have gone from 140 pounds to 120 and my numbers keep dropping. In a sick way though I am becoming addicted to the weight loss, its like the only thing i feel like ive accomplished in bettering myself because I look so thin. I know thats not  a good way to think but I can't stop, I can't even force myself to eat even If i wanted to everything makes me sick. If anyone has gotten through something like this, please any advice you can give will help.",7.033269230769233,6.605943250000003,7.245000000000001,76.00153846153847,64.41666666666666,10.384615384615383,33.46153846153846,9.851270322608157,3.1287692307692296,980,36,182,18,13,318,142,240,0.154,0.748,0.098,-0.8791,1,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,3,8,13,1,0,10,0,24,19,1,2,2,38,46,15,0,8,8,1,5,3,0,3,9,0,0,0,8,8,9,4,7,0,0,4,6,8,0,1,8,8,34,5,25,35,4,31,0,3,2,0,5,8,0,6,19,126,42,1,0.09412509792475504,0.0,0.0,0.1026102501242506,0.0,0.09197795632912492,0.08343622012686439,0.0,0.09425268922941657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831962167778017,0.0,0.0,0.06400829427597303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933468049730608,0.06581445698652325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843362790906108,0.0,0.0,0.11475557211471475,0.103953775624521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324600011949605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957187306179502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16213961783946887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5778808412008911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24867495785744026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459356879341952,0.0,0.08873276540426629,0.0,0.14277743296052434,0.06724298876452882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381644202973007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835295759106673,0.09029337070127996,0.10698692452874234,0.07894766640426094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309006906705215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824214776527336,0.0,0.08366271182253343,0.0,0.0,0.10345738447095293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648334027410277,0.13795430521108193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904137624512121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565846751627532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482113369665908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751297551577245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259507814779789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222261131569852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637816023304948,0.07158637841113101,0.0,0.0,0.10451478229109666,0.10192830862867666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332109228496067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013001368370288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858743577285456,0.10105512983663552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778612536652811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449241978373989,0.0,0.0,0.0666222287703619,0.0,0.0,0.15738559301597008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783201660013484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253253265734117,0.12062312429061192,0.09247743081184677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366549747044597,0.0,0.055517421453216816,0.1494242431399811,0.0,0.114619011823334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686376898475553,0.0,0.0,0.06061347705098603
mentalhealth,MatBlakemoon,2019/01/10,"Paranoia. So yesterday I was woken up in the middle of the night by someone ringing the doorbell. My sleepy head logic assumed it was an overzealous postman or some local kids whom I promptly expected to fuck off. But then as I laid there wide awake the doorbell came back, this time as if it was being manically pressed. I sat up in bed, trying to decide wether or not to answer the door when I realised that we don’t actually have a doorbell. 

Now this isn’t the first time I’ve been woke up by loud noises in the night, a couple years ago while I was going through an extremely stressful period of work (working 17 days in a row, with a few of those days being 16 hours) id be woken up by the sound of a loud bang which after some research I put it down to EHS caused by the stress. 

However I’ve never had it like this, and I’ve never heard noises once I had woken up and had come around. 
Since then I’ve been on edge horrendously, I suffer from depression with mild anxiety however my anxiety has been through the roof lately. I’m a very scared person in general, phobias of the dark, open places, open places in the dark etc... so this has seemingly pushed me over the edge. 
I’m constantly on guard at work, jumping at the slightest little thing, seeing things out of the corner of my eyes that aren’t there and I’m honestly terrified.
Last night I wasn’t woken up by the noise but I kept waking in a fluster multiple times an hour, expecting to hear it.

I’m not under any particular stress at the minute so I can’t think of a cause
I don’t know what to do but I’m losing my mind.",4.123881227131999,4.920600764705885,5.2238347875035185,83.7601991274979,70.76470588235293,8.349507458485787,27.06571911061075,8.575989854853784,1.7823077399380804,1249,40,257,20,22,413,177,323,0.107,0.887,0.006999999999999999,-0.9734,3,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,5,10,10,1,4,28,0,23,4,3,2,2,39,45,18,0,3,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,2,17,12,0,2,7,0,0,6,10,8,0,1,20,9,19,2,51,22,4,66,0,3,2,1,6,33,1,7,28,167,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.11127097034070194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107539118988113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754022621715018,0.0,0.17445608718270236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150552947493252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767741338507365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041307321415016,0.0,0.2342681031340372,0.0,0.09822157477045608,0.0,0.12321943014177544,0.0,0.0,0.1261653809931486,0.0,0.1470720867906496,0.0,0.09820869926504204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271668945979702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698875135715436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541334543169946,0.0,0.0,0.0648024636812566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170215141410211,0.0,0.12851332866014295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22458133212867468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626646053175928,0.09294477398676693,0.12862403217862645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570636407200974,0.1142819975312371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756368348554206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513172972104295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588466762017538,0.0,0.0,0.3210113835412663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143183265745815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956135376848448,0.23826161068136234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114625607974766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415791000538672,0.0,0.09086236077209173,0.10380316202759646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432182642965817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661216040308898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918423008925915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515049505076928,0.07306197150159324,0.0,0.0,0.1994649242116228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741480744184717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408173690933502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24903247774945456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342771394715547
mentalhealth,hanz_01,2019/01/10,"Have you ever been treated badly by a 'mental health/crisis' helpline? Won't go into to much detail but my partner has called them a few times, he suffers with mental illnesses. He was treated badly by every person he talked to, they were very rude to him and made him feel belittled. I wanted to know if anyone else has had roblems with a helpline. In my eyes someone working for a helpline should be lifting people up and Helping them. I acknowledge there's not to much they can do over the phone but treating a person who is obviously distressed that way and making them feel like that when they are reaching out is so wrong!!! 

Anybodys thoughts and experiences on this will be appreciated. ",6.859941860465118,7.6157790542635695,6.523556201550387,77.01231104651166,64.65891472868219,8.31046511627907,33.954457364341074,8.07648339933343,2.6254410852713184,554,23,95,6,8,173,94,129,0.217,0.7,0.083,-0.9734,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,6,1,4,10,1,1,6,0,17,2,1,2,2,23,25,9,0,3,4,0,2,1,1,3,1,0,0,3,4,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,6,3,13,4,16,14,3,11,0,1,1,0,20,6,0,1,4,71,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908317049426984,0.18915412537507129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082822414059271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18850681698585112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542174479734466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698975280019995,0.15554136432502752,0.0,0.0,0.18058339686603192,0.0,0.0,0.1866880982836489,0.13188497756675754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491776466703304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19623113763303665,0.0,0.0,0.12373977564754755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014564869941102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019081781999697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746818585049435,0.1232281942991148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720856677950797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714182706484027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798489922294684,0.3223875788424506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564189281290668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838202632400466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465592262165985,0.1076472137473977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232207190564515,0.10888739506451098,0.14653433254919224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439782692769564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184137596417573,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thru_glass,2019/01/10,"social anxiety and/or agoraphobia , etc.? Or? Hi.  A bit of a back story.   I have dealt with depression and anxiety for the greater part of my life.  Mostly depression, and then later anxiety sprung up for some reason.  I've always not enjoyed being around people but I assume that is normal but my ""anxiety"" with people got worse.  Also last summer I was dealing with PTSD but I don't think I am suffering from it anymore.  

Right now the only time I will go out in public is early in the morning, like the grocery store.  Otherwise if I go to the store when the general population is out I get extremely anxious (just very tense and just other dreadful feelings).  I was reading just a little bit about agoraphobia and it seems to be  majorly linked with panic attacks, which I don't think I have ever suffered from.  I mean panic attacks seem way more extreme because I only experience anxiety (albeit crippling at times) when in ""crowds"" but I don't consider those panic attacks, right?  

I recently quit my night job because working nights was messing even more with my already fragile mental health.  I was working nights so I could work alone, which I like a lot.  Now I am just at home, applying like crazy for jobs of course. But mostly I'm just lazy.  

This morning, I finally got around to taking a walk around the block for a little exercise since I am mostly sedentary.  I had been wanting to do this for quite some time and it has only been day one and now I am scared to do it again tomorrow.  But I know I need to push myself but it's just tough.  Why the hell do I get so nervous walking on the street?  During the day is a different story, I hate walking on the street during the day but this is morning and it is dark and mostly just cars but I feel like I am in a fishbowl even though I know no one gives a shit about me.  I don't want to take my anxiety medication so early in the morning just to walk out of my apartment building.  Even though it calms me, I would eventually probably feel sleepy when I get back home.  

I think if I get a regular job again my anxiety of being out won't be as bad.  But even with a regular job I am anxious.   I also get scared to death when I get invited somewhere.  I usually try to get out of it but if I can't I will take some anxiety medication to mellow me out, but I hate having to do that.  

I just moved back in with my mom so I am home all day and then when I spend some of the time with her after work I get so irritable and will usually get angry and yell at her.  It must because I'm so isolated and have no contact with anymore except her.  I don't want to be mean to her, i feel so bad afterward.  And I hate telling her sorry because after awhile it just gets old, I mean who wants to be told sorry and then it just happens again the next day, it doesn't seem right to me.  That's why I wanted to walk every morning.  I just feel hopeless.  It's like either I spend some time with her (and risk getting irritated and yell) or I go in my room and be alone but then she's all alone. 

BTW, I am currently on wellbutrin, abilify, and then I have clonazepam which tells me to take it every day but I only take it when I feel extremely anxious.  It feels just like a short term (8 hours max) solution and I don't want to grow a tolerance to it in case I really need it in a situation.  I was taking zoloft too (I was seeing another doctor out of state and just came back to my psychiatrist) but my doctor took me off of it because she didn't think it would help my depression (she kept asking why did that other doctor put you on that?), she said I didn't need to be on a SSRI since she said it mostly deals with compulsion.  I always thought SSRIs were for depression and anxiety.  Any other drug that helps with this (social?) anxiety, instead of a last ditch (emergency) solution like clonazepam?  

I don't know what exactly I am asking anymore but I am just trying to figure myself out and figure out how to get my life together because it seems like a mess, better than when I was dealing with PTSD but still.   I am trying (it is hard to concentrate on books at times) to read self-help books...of all kinds. 

Any thoughts would be appreciated. ",3.227133311662513,4.718330421930872,4.740075306100337,83.7202780185647,73.74374255065554,7.897720952071371,26.29972550294362,8.530408385264376,1.812850456893127,3260,114,657,59,66,1093,301,839,0.208,0.715,0.077,-0.9989,6,3,1,0,0,1,92.0,0,1,0,7,58,40,8,8,32,0,69,12,1,2,6,151,140,69,1,18,40,1,9,8,0,8,11,4,4,0,42,48,0,2,28,4,4,15,15,28,0,2,24,14,102,12,97,98,24,118,1,7,1,0,33,43,2,21,66,468,144,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080005355810764,0.04645532246698583,0.06733025365943451,0.07005650877770726,0.0,0.0,0.057255098195436914,0.04414259940693036,0.3220425348794022,0.1426736079869501,0.1252473732994578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242633677373104,0.07871042477519383,0.1436749748421544,0.0,0.12948063625261902,0.07029883058312063,0.1539724255478527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037231564792753934,0.09191850921912677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04814799799483548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03361119990073709,0.0,0.0,0.1628953225018579,0.1302011374670692,0.14503307494407194,0.0,0.0,0.04398262869894466,0.0,0.12926484703444915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04881940326377472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04694952151045683,0.11121925128551974,0.03807934017762967,0.07093743687269251,0.0,0.0,0.04117915311798282,0.0,0.0,0.14899931396133312,0.0601485161917984,0.0,0.046115440245849265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639286818240665,0.040383483612367994,0.07177445054750083,0.0,0.06733797538541586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03722642731557834,0.0,0.03771083501209945,0.12468685024753105,0.0,0.0447473699318077,0.0,0.0,0.08465062552714127,0.0,0.1266808141292037,0.0,0.04145727595596472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16709995676926667,0.0,0.0,0.043837770291370586,0.06940658363807142,0.0686296961071803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946901442713905,0.164532578799634,0.0843849355339441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03578954593560636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375686218146821,0.0,0.08481702851504924,0.04242409034565736,0.0,0.0,0.0493037482529077,0.0,0.04474267629089823,0.0,0.09364365231637647,0.0,0.0,0.0447708646757648,0.11851615079788815,0.04124633163910119,0.0,0.0,0.0441739445836111,0.0,0.057052323387183024,0.1280673128927151,0.0,0.14817603084680356,0.0,0.045587180422805976,0.0,0.058369815313654476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045387916782379405,0.0,0.09841878079762603,0.042319327402576726,0.0,0.08955113788356255,0.0842172122159992,0.0,0.026968553251752198,0.0432829472772331,0.04156592018323968,0.0,0.0,0.1078523722325131,0.08008818136567594,0.0,0.08429331027278616,0.0,0.03354602921654029,0.15329489027393028,0.043916575267430084,0.0,0.043212185221914924,0.06964650088947749,0.047319032344652866,0.0,0.08582561649988023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424876905567317,0.0,0.0,0.03361888948280551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991119520863006,0.0,0.07358964109867472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078967796911253,0.08272059803945654,0.06684097122952748,0.14728334413545868,0.0,0.0,0.04022569201732258,0.0467715537158583,0.08574373492510112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272826755168168,0.034734610330230314,0.14898016512468912,0.03341480901237625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395856350758367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258909268132748,0.0,0.04290065753571354,0.08971395900115926,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_came_I_saw_I_Lost,2019/01/10,"Should I inform my friend's parent about substance abuse and mental health? With out saying too much, my friend recently disclosed to me that they are struggling with substance abuse (alcohol mostly). They struggled with a lot of mental health stuff in the past and reached out to a parent who helped set them up with a therapist (my friend was over 18 at the time). In the past six months, my friend stopped going to the therapist and I noticed a significant decline in their over all mood and some really bad behaviors.

I know this person won't listen to me if I try to tell them to go, because I'm not around that much any more due to a job out of state. But should I inform their parents about what's going on? Or just let it sit? My other friends have noticed a change in behavior as well....",6.2945949820788565,6.342039606451618,5.971827956989246,82.92218637992829,65.83870967741936,8.953405017921149,30.125448028673834,8.515128840125781,2.060813620071684,629,20,124,8,9,195,97,155,0.121,0.782,0.097,-0.7125,4,0,1,0,2,0,18.0,0,0,6,0,6,10,0,2,10,0,7,3,0,0,1,27,13,8,0,3,5,3,0,0,5,3,3,2,0,1,8,12,1,1,3,0,0,3,2,3,1,1,1,2,18,6,29,8,7,26,0,0,0,0,22,13,0,5,7,91,26,1,0.0,0.2653221718761021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965731862012262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761405385429121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967324131426618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348671102204714,0.06825327217705758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844490037437895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4325222414673009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908981205360632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23802867883358456,0.0,0.0,0.0750482713187696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110871433212642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615334392125521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449254885683975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518926305712068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22567025036515945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936998060974047,0.0,0.16461539476612325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549474603727337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729740918432719,0.0,0.21376792445143467,0.0,0.09776416015042687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172811620381662,0.0,0.11055265461184027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903964559885014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936083670614997,0.0,0.23410179094742276,0.1281739777858952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786298654674684,0.0,0.0,0.2600016937083114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528811986078951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601738371656146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067064134965573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FearlessnessPit,2019/01/10,"I like my therapist, but I think she's unprofessional sometimes I've been seeing her for almost two years. She's great, but got too attached and I think she started to act too personal and kinda unprofessional.

I met her through my mother. At that point, I was struggling with depression and BPD for 2 years diagnosed (4 years on medication) and had constant episodes of panic, anxiety and depersonalization attacks, was extremely demotivated and very suicidal.

I tried several therapists, I really liked two of them, but the first one I couldn't afford and the second was through an university program and I had limited session with her. All the rest failed.

My therapist nowadays was amazing to me, she helped me through a lot on tons of aspects of my life. She was an amazing guide, and her methods were new to me, but worked magic.

I'm feeling much better today, I thank her for that. It was so hard to get a connection with a therapist but she managed that greatly.

But she's now giving a lot of her personal thoughts on me, is been insisting with things like religion and I avoid to talk about my intimacy (which affects me a lot) because she talks about it like a 14 year old girl would talk to her best friend.

I miss when she didn't knew me so much, I feel she was a better help back then.

What should I do? Do I tell her?",5.10286274509804,6.391008011764708,5.899705882352944,77.9970098039216,68.88235294117646,9.431372549019608,32.20588235294117,9.725611199111238,3.077,1053,46,201,24,18,345,139,255,0.16,0.649,0.192,0.8948,1,1,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,7,9,20,1,3,12,0,19,3,0,1,1,38,34,20,1,3,6,1,3,4,1,2,3,0,0,3,8,14,0,2,6,0,0,1,2,7,0,5,17,4,45,13,27,14,9,20,0,3,1,0,32,5,0,5,18,149,53,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147500803853564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752301705120401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528619481575232,0.0,0.07792238978440716,0.0,0.061774484622201364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634760090372636,0.1792498145223286,0.0,0.0,0.12763120979883685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950998773595824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728196064293371,0.1028555712266164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247871104682024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619774462052901,0.0,0.0,0.07829320910789392,0.0,0.05294473422330927,0.09721229805376426,0.0,0.0,0.08104896789413259,0.22345021120080044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077862049349776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358489676649519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157777188003786,0.19803380812008392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584609123940589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208701080847772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898965057935595,0.0,0.0,0.09787252396526397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633680611341054,0.0,0.06866900734730058,0.0,0.0,0.1188978858565803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17696823654544186,0.0,0.0,0.09579682480309612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491948693562492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075297866873095,0.0,0.0,0.11448268832843292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100225516929879,0.0,0.07172730301161173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059401038487676,0.0,0.11084693014456116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443540687381543,0.08857356379679628,0.09329808355949676,0.0,0.4706432414863543,0.06732422497387203,0.12986613546091702,0.0,0.0804507664536632,0.0,0.0,0.09605623340333894,0.0,0.0,0.06880160542687036,0.0,0.19798429824184613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361416574694827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377500867847332,0.0,0.0,0.07198735177412037,0.0,0.0,0.26103247010899
mentalhealth,Smithyweather,2019/01/10,"Murder case really getting to me A few weeks ago I found the Christopher Watts and Shanann Watts murder case. I got really into this murder case, sitting watching hours upon hours of YouTube videos (I was doing my Dissertation and it helped me to concentrate!)

What I didn’t and still cannot fathom is how Chris seemed so normal and a good father. I couldn’t get my head around why and how he would do this.

Then I started to feel really bad for him that his brain was so messed up that he thought this was the right answer to his marriage problems. Killing those poor children!

I got so invested in it I would sit and watch videos of the kids and cry. 

It just seemed all to real.

I’ve just sat watching a body language expert and it’s really disturbed me watching him confess and how he only cried when he knew he looked bad.

This really got to me, and started to annoy me. I’ve become really downbeaten and worried about my mental health.

Why this case and why is it annoying me so much? I’m starting to worry that there is something wrong with me that this tv case is starting to take up my life and saddens me.
 
What is going on and what is wrong with me!  Especially feeling sorry for a murderer! 

What should I do?",3.4350000000000023,5.263224066390041,4.189997925311204,86.4847479253112,73.89626556016597,6.977676348547718,24.91307053941909,7.7348632917899725,1.2874363485477174,964,31,189,13,20,308,126,241,0.259,0.723,0.018000000000000002,-0.9967,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,14,15,7,1,7,0,18,5,3,3,1,40,39,23,5,6,2,1,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,20,18,0,0,9,3,2,1,3,14,0,0,11,7,26,1,23,24,3,22,1,0,5,0,15,8,0,2,11,124,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522849666220734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563375279587248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17939589189023344,0.0,0.11864585620048003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932836088568988,0.0,0.11992524772153285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360093671582712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863771375266394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177893269539054,0.0,0.0,0.1122534587429554,0.0,0.061053844301036476,0.09010556297056643,0.2577601089266871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102521863887706,0.11419100818707405,0.0,0.0,0.07200676663486329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115900060859782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885323573043427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587961844098848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021251708778327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826222089416154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897198767632098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525669332220128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170388336406645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279414851703512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222766555261544,0.4129270108867784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091742979452325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19559694901603603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270337192317434,0.0,0.1202569220856915,0.30415254576205353,0.0,0.08579219046888673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077253434087886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528588277405612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617231276693184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29081135446201145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21819682680945665,0.0,0.15262762843057584,0.2349114467074785,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cici-is-not-ok,2019/01/10,"Does anybody have experience with ""coming out"" about your mental illness at work? What did you disclose? What were the reactions from your boss/co-workers?",5.547564102564103,9.053793500000003,4.582307692307693,77.64602564102567,75.53846153846153,6.543589743589743,31.743589743589745,7.793537801064563,2.7917589743589746,125,6,18,2,3,37,24,26,0.123,0.877,0.0,-0.5007,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,5,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,14,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364003154080612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36979031524333855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4133505884879098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4258470945286097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6152660966198598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NaomiKatyr,2019/01/10,"What to listen to when you cant fall asleep because of anxiety Preferably something on YouTube, or something I can download on an android phone",6.446153846153845,8.608729000000004,5.364615384615386,79.75538461538463,66.69230769230771,6.7384615384615385,43.769230769230774,7.1686216300943375,3.7697538461538462,118,8,18,1,2,35,23,26,0.069,0.931,0.0,-0.1779,0,0,2,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193739558779126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341795891563473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8440672291486062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EpicJJK56,2019/01/10,"Am I a fairly normal person or do I have some type of disorder? Hello, I’m not sure how to say it but it seems as if I’m different from everybody. There’s always something that feels as if I’m a little bit behind everybody(I’m sure this doesn’t help much but I’m trying lol). I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety before and I’m sure that has something to do with me overthinking every single thing, but this just seems like I can never get all my thoughts out. It’s as if once I try to express myself or speak most of the time it either takes too long for me to form thoughts into words or my mind goes completely blank and I lose track and it takes me a bit to remember what I was speaking of. The only people this doesn’t happen nearly as much with is with my girlfriend and my mother, it can and does happen with most people. Please let me know if you have any idea what this is. ",2.557704918032784,4.104590781420768,3.8696393442622967,89.04872131147543,75.6120218579235,6.847213114754098,20.943169398907106,7.554174236665415,0.6237471038251368,695,16,147,9,15,228,106,183,0.079,0.8640000000000001,0.057,-0.2605,1,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,5,1,15,1,0,1,5,45,31,20,0,5,13,1,1,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,15,12,0,0,8,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,4,16,4,23,26,11,7,0,1,0,0,10,4,0,12,4,104,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106106180195617,0.0,0.0,0.09039876389305893,0.0,0.10169311726516414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311589849997722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902560601306953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393773596766176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492384667143573,0.0,0.13888633126015149,0.15235233943931098,0.0,0.11633026225686148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200149522308173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721474457569057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945182567375735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23510381569837466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910195658393101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006478693984093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305631072951227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359326462576938,0.0,0.06494418057259403,0.1332334430276458,0.0,0.11764121657786016,0.0,0.1487176381513816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422408676633535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19544159378697665,0.0,0.102525858617425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024577767976214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156893918211286,0.0,0.10110127434494316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18431753046721824,0.11607166694336896,0.0,0.1459201363243815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058678450605795,0.0,0.0,0.10571338282662282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24203379312324397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204676104728067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3758623625907892,0.0,0.19989762585813767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831454922003619,0.0,0.0,0.2110673587856097,0.0775141001792488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805050937087495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Roy_ALifeWellLived,2019/01/10,"Idk Idk what to do. There is no future, so what am I supposed to do? Would love to somehow believe otherwise, but I know enough about our species & what is happening around the world to know that our time is already spent. I had a rough childhood, so I have always been very hard on myself. In turn, I read as much as I possibly can so that maybe someday I won't feel so stupid. I give 110% at everything I do because growing up I was made to feel like I had to work extra hard just to keep up. Now I see that I am far more educated than many of my peers and I am a much harder worker. I don't mean to sound arrogant, there are many areas in which I fall behind (social skills for example). When I start a task it will consume my mind until it is complete and in excellent condition. Moderation is not my strong suit. With all of this in mind, committing to anything at all seems impossible. The economy is shit. My life is shit. Why bust my ass at a shit job for shit pay wasting the majority of my time each week being a ""productive member of society"" when I see that society as being counterproductive to the very existence of our species.

My mother is the most amazing person in the world, which in a way kinda sucks because otherwise I'd have just offed myself years ago. I have a lot more to say but I don't really think any of you actually give a shit. Most likely you just pity me like everyone else and think I'm a whacko.",4.339544221378187,4.877529158075603,5.629893289925848,81.97813347802499,70.1340206185567,9.287827816965097,28.374208717670463,9.414487439383343,2.2568996563573887,1119,38,236,23,19,376,160,291,0.195,0.731,0.073,-0.9904,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,3,2,0,5,15,15,7,0,15,0,30,8,6,1,3,33,51,15,0,1,6,1,5,3,0,3,1,2,0,1,12,6,0,1,8,1,2,2,5,8,0,0,6,9,35,7,41,40,13,32,0,1,2,2,12,17,7,6,15,165,47,6,0.0,0.0,0.10304518707943404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360332315245788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165263682927904,0.0,0.08786324267730232,0.11441180455939068,0.0,0.0718080114899937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689543418493326,0.0940016631679842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287390881785683,0.0,0.0,0.11896905781960915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071402543671303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821081546964164,0.0,0.0,0.10910754397570456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090025327397156,0.0949017002969511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678369798281673,0.07543686899398169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20259210073097075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337703731757843,0.0,0.18918420606686934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478643818500387,0.09385741394598644,0.0,0.0,0.11606416225972692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458465369679408,0.1547646980089891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977283095361105,0.09530333213405402,0.09991625065100763,0.0,0.2141128876938185,0.1060840609073367,0.11502357562653505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21324107431718947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524849685865552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220121199214913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904214922609427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562326732580256,0.0,0.06764666353937604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397313726148305,0.0,0.0,0.16829059611093086,0.09612944164878758,0.0,0.0,0.5419571690072315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764049054151067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474046642150446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532162968871006,0.0,0.0,0.12314622803676202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485670251085295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425335918067922,0.0,0.0838161514038898,0.08470169247057842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528278523836237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687419333174975,0.0,0.0,0.07501143946783642,0.0,0.0,0.06799951952726066
mentalhealth,GalaticalExplorer,2019/01/10,Personal goals ruined by mental illness I had goals I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to have a job that payed well. I wanted to do things that only the 1 percent can do. But depression is blocking me from doing those things. I’m 16. I know I still have a chance. But I feel hopeless and these goals are for better people.,1.1156250000000014,3.6526993125000047,2.8331250000000026,88.99937500000001,87.125,5.075,18.9375,6.6274283507984215,0.3357249999999996,252,7,48,3,8,83,45,64,0.219,0.639,0.142,-0.743,1,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,5,2,5,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,9,15,3,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,8,2,6,14,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,37,14,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527298670580817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24612308100446675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448790972623424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28357087658539043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704520929527072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879770101740321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21733195436470654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981087250366617,0.24951299958004364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282068324800408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796900425872535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5056426923745841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256930900384661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fuckfuckfuckfvck,2019/01/10,"therapy questions? advice/experiences/etc. appreciated! i don’t know if this is allowed or not (sorry & please take it down if it isn’t, i just don’t know where else to ask!). also sorry for format cause mobile. 

basically i was assaulted by my boyfriend a few months ago and am having trouble coping with it, among other things. i’ve talked to my mom about going to therapy and we’re gonna start looking for places to go, but i’m really concerned with the confidentiality rules because i’m still a minor (17, if that counts for anything). i know my local laws say things like they have to tell my parents if i’m being abused/gonna hurt myself/gonna hurt someone else/gonna commit a crime, but i specifically want info on whether they’d tell my parents i was raped especially because it was by someone i’m still in a relationship with. 

i’m also nervous just in general because i’ve never done anything like this and i hear horror stories of therapists who tell your parents everything w/o your consent, don’t listen to what you say, don’t believe you, etc. etc. 

any experience or stories or advice is welcome, and again i’m sorry if we aren’t supposed to ask questions like this here (and if that’s the case i’d be super duper grateful if anyone could direct me to another sub that does allow things of this nature). thanks! ",3.583415665708003,5.8028326536964965,4.883779394349516,79.95028759939099,74.60311284046692,6.95983759093216,27.12722043647437,7.893859768569023,1.8495817628150903,1060,41,190,16,23,351,145,257,0.132,0.726,0.142,0.4108,5,0,0,0,1,2,36.0,1,4,2,1,10,12,2,1,6,0,19,1,0,3,2,40,40,20,0,9,16,4,0,3,0,1,0,4,0,0,17,9,0,0,6,0,0,2,8,6,0,0,4,5,20,6,24,31,3,17,0,2,1,1,26,8,0,12,10,117,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301616411504526,0.0843780124521201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224288545529668,0.0,0.10313566169074953,0.0,0.06473079249329591,0.09981243705394337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655734239512077,0.0,0.15666247267196842,0.0,0.17797500427964708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740763258113115,0.0,0.0,0.10724376340538487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778382596731056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599950658712509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329925922159406,0.09740990359388728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951697691316045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31847781214303683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554842477484456,0.09311168086485767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819454712083336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072832775445595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20380046426563256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693775068934032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951147433602828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993356145451969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148249842858612,0.07597778766325149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341450030458999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31708350120055434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945072146773368,0.1044873365323997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21326366284995651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06097957664572479,0.0,0.0,0.102195796870247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139390745673442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130419041770028,0.0,0.0,0.31966397952894793,0.06737423196096612,0.0,0.1520337875616441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156918514191732,0.07650814039903835,0.24959432108671545,0.08763589957137426,0.21771049927947944,0.11052007252255573,0.18971511932831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056144078333923125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dangerbunny17,2019/01/10,"Lack of motivation without depression? Uh, hi. idk if this is the right place to ask but it's the first place I thought of. does feeling a lack of motivation to get out of bed have to be depression? I often don't feel motivated and will pass on doing things I meant to do because I want to stay in bed until I absolutely have to get out (to go to class or rehearsal). don't be afraid to tell me I'm just lazy. thank you <3",0.33999999999999986,2.471174111111111,2.7355555555555564,91.48000000000002,85.66666666666667,6.2666666666666675,21.222222222222214,7.554174236665415,0.7073555555555555,330,11,77,6,10,113,61,90,0.125,0.695,0.18,0.6526,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,4,2,4,0,1,3,0,10,0,0,3,0,19,21,5,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,7,0,0,2,3,3,1,1,2,2,7,1,19,16,2,12,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,3,2,51,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183467793930242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237581756049353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023292328805405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438965629444514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23618959117293686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986657507104123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24405059359597056,0.0,0.13273735268240894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4880403251834752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19945869681283165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24894355056540854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041414612673787,0.2150303803398568,0.0,0.0,0.15516667813423918,0.0,0.0,0.18542030285254768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775955489726807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251432039683164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PlatinumBlitzer,2019/01/10,"Too paranoid I want to move out of my country in a future (and probably it's happening closer than I thought), If that happens I will most likely have to travel alone, this idea scares me completely, I have a strong feeling I'm going to be kidnapped and I have recurring dreams about being chased, I don't know why is this happening when I had wishes of moving out from years and I don't know how to cope with it.",3.905357142857145,4.975238821428572,4.900952380952383,84.8607142857143,71.5,7.980952380952381,27.095238095238088,8.344100000000001,1.7467523809523808,327,11,66,5,6,107,60,84,0.081,0.7809999999999999,0.138,0.5487,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,2,0,10,0,0,1,0,16,21,6,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,5,2,0,4,2,1,0,0,2,1,10,2,13,16,1,12,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,5,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21727311581551967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21995469401882256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607317150361817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922516912024465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5565343033249006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23682077470068444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305837692712398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024899409724185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4459347113338881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22618279958047824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21003053516223927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654518505288587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373612927066505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929756902701766,0.0,0.24124142378316624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509411704658206
mentalhealth,tangled-wires,2019/01/10,"Difference between Psychotic Depression and Schizophrenia? My uncle (mid 50s male) recently had what could be best described as a nervous breakdown. He went to the ER and then a psychiatrist who ultimately diagnosed him with depression.

Maybe I am not well educated on the topic but that is why I am posting here.

My uncle believes that people are listening to him and that someone is coming to get him. There was an incident where he pulled pages out of a notebook and then tried to claim he did not do it and it was someone else who pulled the pages out. He wakes up in the middle of the night and is supposedly very upset, he is constantly nervous and shaking. (He told the psychiatrist all of this.)

Is a second opinion warranted? He was fine over the holidays and this has never happened before. Should he get a brain scan to make sure it isn’t some tumor or other problem along those lines?

Thanks!

",4.383749999999999,6.791835113095237,5.073238095238096,78.63842857142859,72.86904761904762,8.289523809523809,29.65238095238095,9.029198982220553,2.8007352380952386,721,31,125,16,15,232,109,168,0.13,0.789,0.081,-0.7893,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,4,12,0,4,13,0,19,3,2,1,3,26,28,13,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,13,13,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,7,2,1,7,2,7,5,18,18,5,21,0,2,1,0,16,9,0,3,6,93,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558525387445934,0.20600055816771967,0.1918816190868643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041123760793684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575023740904476,0.0,0.19758747328941426,0.0,0.14598462680052635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31496345536564435,0.18558099450625126,0.0,0.1910311936284295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274120478224695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105501654125848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168676259196704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204859506966045,0.0,0.18368957576133493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101918433412972,0.0,0.0,0.17158502815689114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675976653830548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751122950707276,0.0,0.0,0.1749553017358515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180534624276762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.309843222633214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723266192198255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683365414825311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471356733125645,0.0,0.12413785861549127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086397216093372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439710539356192,0.16949656062885735,0.16498665537588514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,o7606445,2019/01/10,"Pressure I have this pressure I put on myself that I should be ridiculously successful and that I should be able to learn/know almost everything when I can't. I frequently have been called out for trying to be a ""know-it-all"" when I frankly don't. I sometimes pretend to know what I'm talking about so people think I'm smarter. I feel like I should be doing something extra everyday like starting a business or club or volunteer blah blah blah. Because of this, it depresses me like crazy. I don't see a point in doing anything honestly. I barely want to do any school work and doing the bare minimum feels like so much work when it really isn't jack shit. I hate spending time with myself, I never know what to think about or I just constantly think about how I should be better than I am. I often find myself absorbing myself in reddit or youtube or something (nothing really healthy tbh) to just forget that I'm miserable and hopeless. I hate being alone, I fuckin hate it. I can't think of really anything that I genuinely would want to do whether that be an activity or a career. I'm honestly in a really damn good engineering program at a great school and believe i could get a pretty good job out of that, but it depresses me like hell to think about just workin some pointless ass job for some dumbass company 40 hrs/week just to make a living. What is the point to doing anything. I just give myself this pressure to be some multi millionaire or whatnot  but don't know if its even worth it at that point. I guess I'm just asking how can I live with myself without hating myself and be happy again? How can I stop comparing myself to other people and giving a fuck about what they think? How do I stop this pressure? I used to love so many things and doing so many things, now I'm just miserable in almost everything I do, even those activities I used to love. Whats my next move? 

​

((burner account))",5.2114400000000005,6.122425130666668,5.836000000000002,79.93800000000002,68.36,8.986666666666668,29.4,9.174902378510234,2.4515599999999997,1524,54,286,28,25,495,170,375,0.156,0.67,0.174,0.5167,2,1,2,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,1,4,28,34,10,6,12,0,37,6,2,7,1,68,73,29,0,9,19,0,2,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,26,11,0,2,12,2,3,2,8,19,0,0,1,3,43,15,37,57,5,28,1,5,1,5,8,12,6,15,19,202,69,9,0.0811592310362406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253849291232206,0.0840564870101157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793599291979813,0.0986173490295466,0.055191060173262405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036139578453746,0.0,0.07587292532801876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04947391394694447,0.0,0.0,0.0914386611275727,0.0,0.07177874451660153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287264903401638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877042964051308,0.0,0.06479904199570385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980465353545565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720981333699853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145881367355892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207309154793076,0.11596034173734285,0.0,0.0,0.0741780668436831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503040131057855,0.04240234849270533,0.15571065943844906,0.0,0.13614502483912586,0.0,0.08947833873471027,0.08940604295903143,0.0,0.0,0.08639551058784702,0.0,0.3205117528031529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107602745736185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301495440131014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982515038659987,0.0,0.14333017582208266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649874935628715,0.0,0.05417441692844787,0.1645654436514678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625941854311832,0.05966137311244565,0.0,0.06259500228303645,0.0,0.0863137629384435,0.0,0.0,0.07787447105583828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253118380067202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301651189330474,0.0,0.0,0.08256811523409367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158744352144871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20797072641079287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16427494938645684,0.06467339941481924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330878436921238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496068226595593,0.08026855473100604,0.0,0.057444921451720775,0.0,0.0,0.1357055024321994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523271564989815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078371736574556,0.31202134909142776,0.0,0.0,0.04732460028247902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05510179044176562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019103515832387,0.0,0.0,0.09573963445668714,0.0,0.06510103968792233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823460254502254,0.0,0.11816977359231925,0.0,0.0,0.0576531891560496,0.0,0.0986173490295466,0.0
mentalhealth,hot-sauce1,2019/01/10,"What should high schools do to to help students’ mental health? I am currently a junior in high school and live in a very wealthy/preppy area. My school’s current method of discussing mental health is essentially just showing all students a (not very helpful) video about mental illness every time one of our classmates commits suicide. This is clearly doing next to nothing to aid the student body’s overall mental health, and does not relay the message to students that our school can help them. 

Some of my classmates and I recently founded a student-run organization in our school called the Mental Health Board. So far, we have held a couple of events for our school where we educate students on mental illness, how to handle stress, and how to help other students in need. While I am very proud of everything we have done, it seems that this has had little effect of the overall mental health of our school.

Earlier tonight I attended a town hall meeting regarding mental health in our city/state, where several law enforcement chiefs, presidents of mental health organizations, mental health professionals, and citizens discussed the important issue of mental illness and suicide in our community. I spoke to the group about my experience of how mental health is treated at my school, our attempts to improve this, and asked for any advice of what we should be trying to do. While the police chief’s response was very unhelpful, several people (parents who have lost children to suicide, people who work for mental health organizations, people who work for the city, etc.) gave me their contact information and told me that they are willing to spend time and money to work with me and my school to make a positive change. It seems that we certainly have enough manpower, funding, and passion to get something serious accomplished, but unfortunately I am lacking the creativity and understanding to think of what we should actually do with all of these resources. I would love to know what you all think would be most beneficial to the most people at my school regarding mental health. We have several well trained counselors and psychiatric professions at our school who would love to help, but students are not taking advantage of these opportunities, and mental health is a serious issue. I am very involved in my school and find it very likely that the administration would help me with this if I can get a detailed plan on what I want to do. 

TL;DR I have the resources to create a significant change in my school regarding mental health of students, but I don’t know what would be the most effective way to help people. 

I would also like to point out that I have not personally struggled with any serious mental illness, so I apologize if any of this sounds ignorant. I know that I can’t make magically everybody happy, but I have an awesome opportunity to help people in my school and I need advice on how to go about it. ",14.454482758620696,9.8748201954023,12.5383908045977,56.82068965517244,53.94252873563219,15.431417624521073,48.923371647509576,12.650343791298138,6.055907279693488,2370,104,376,50,18,744,218,522,0.058,0.774,0.168,0.9963,4,0,2,0,0,3,49.0,16,1,3,13,14,20,0,2,24,0,44,21,1,8,6,84,70,31,3,15,11,1,0,2,0,10,17,2,0,3,29,28,0,2,13,2,3,2,6,7,1,1,9,2,52,13,68,48,10,39,0,1,0,3,52,26,0,8,12,267,81,28,0.0,0.0,0.03301291273792205,0.0,0.0,0.06611599369626812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027053603400088912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901607977213313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03162620812467782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03757717663554111,0.0,0.0,0.03454391187452086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157468587497462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037431925869976464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02960460340412973,0.034619534320948296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03495512920503799,0.03772906429827076,0.0,0.0,0.028502986088241995,0.0,0.030403958102075832,0.03309194355454025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03091973810344508,0.0,0.0,0.037092526134407035,0.0,0.0,0.03534924988348108,0.0,0.01922620133680225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03601235074404116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4674721372927213,0.0,0.0,0.18140270887551807,0.07148588283521143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706188469671389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577576453512665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033054970769558815,0.033906252461556034,0.029872249893480005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03692911998858642,0.0,0.06106526032990552,0.0,0.045163182450260776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5795705701822276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050168596195846536,0.0,0.0,0.03597827576719585,0.0,0.0,0.032460514980323776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022923884080068232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037563884668183764,0.0,0.0,0.14071955011660126,0.029538794116420845,0.0,0.0,0.03198000658314611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03340275310070952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4793245550443923,0.0,0.06159458696989392,0.0,0.1146538144847121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026043760192843327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03875181354365613,0.0353661535804188,0.0,0.11101262165100592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025435728503260643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04335341881637859,0.0,0.0,0.039452746852193916,0.0,0.0,0.03232573350563277,0.0,0.02296814950813717,0.0,0.0,0.035217916668679544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747830065523758,0.01995363690023437,0.02685244571580116,0.0,0.0,0.03041696817954549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738852859077116,0.0,0.0,0.14418991370777995,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lukeafrench,2019/01/10,trying to make a change hello mental health! i am starting a clothing business whose proceeds will go to mental health research and national park preservation. just thought i’d share my way of helping mental health awareness(: ,6.374210526315789,9.865068789473684,4.883421052631579,76.97144736842105,71.63157894736842,5.905263157894738,35.8157894736842,7.1686216300943375,3.0797157894736844,186,10,24,2,4,54,31,38,0.0,0.872,0.128,0.5707,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,4,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,3,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,12,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21653123447281067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632808607648172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6527167084212911,0.0,0.0,0.1371970830516123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662986472281474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6188277132350846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448781969786158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16249826077341215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389687347071374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247065979760048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Star0net,2019/01/11,"Anxiety to the point in sick. I need help, but I can't reach therapy and any hotline is for serious matters. Mines just stupid and childish but I just need somewhere to talk without judgement.  I can't find it and my anxiety is getting worse and worse to the point I'm hiding under my bed planning out how I will hide from him. How how I'll fight back. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I hate my brain for being this way why can't I be normal and not fear everything. I wasn't assaulted yet I feel like it, I wasn't hurt at all. I don't know why I feel violated because I wasn't. I don't know how to snap out of this anxiety and I hate it, I want to sleep but I'm scared to.

I'm sorry if this isn't allowed here just delete it and don't tell me. It'll make it worse if you do.",-0.3343502824858753,1.3877743502824875,2.1783333333333346,96.95925141242941,85.15819209039547,5.741242937853108,20.002824858757066,6.937597516519254,0.11760790960452015,608,18,154,8,18,209,86,177,0.316,0.59,0.094,-0.9921,1,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,10,12,6,3,2,0,19,3,2,6,1,38,35,17,0,6,10,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,10,10,0,0,6,0,0,0,13,11,0,0,3,2,24,1,17,28,1,10,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,2,3,96,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450668039839223,0.0,0.3189428212800937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686196944713287,0.0,0.08471689724319822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15514028025509405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490033456054905,0.0,0.0,0.15638371653409933,0.1405382576069074,0.09928262766701264,0.0,0.0,0.12701917364440704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260786773367169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744149296190767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315094334376796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877390342000588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291284452971303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789538543215505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927658263920505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20609403644936952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361644291838205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627495741227717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782732432483229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907376904409013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556934798508934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170155800759113,0.12146888069609695,0.0,0.15892819925625892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197011442299128,0.11031061950593728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25080376256472064,0.0,0.0,0.13396540228809742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42487731486573704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,major_bummer,2019/01/11,"The feeling of constantly needing to run away from myself has gotten me into trouble yet again. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. I have a hard time facing my personal problems and I’ve figured out that my coping mechanism is to just run away from myself.

It’s turned into bad habits and addictions. I don’t want to clean my room because I don’t want to acknowledge the mess I’ve made. I don’t want to continue school because I don’t want to have to bring my bad grades up. I’ve used anything from Netflix to painkillers to shopping with my parents’ money to try to cope with being who I am by numbing myself.

This has to stop. It’s become so self-destructive that I feel like with every failure, I’m not learning from it anymore. I’ve taken two steps backward and only one step forward. I only realized this was a problem for me when my dad figured out I spent $46,000 in a year.

As a child, I was bullied. As an adolescent, I moved around a lot and only got to keep friends for a year at most. As a young adult, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. I’ve been in college for 4 years and have only gotten halfway through my degree with mediocre grades.

If there’s any literature on this feeling of constantly needing to run away and how to cope with it, please link me to it. If anyone has gone through the same thing and successfully gotten through it, give me some insight. ",4.2261702127659575,5.328303851063834,5.0983617021276615,83.62350000000002,70.77304964539006,7.767659574468086,30.41205673758865,8.07648339933343,2.0995767375886523,1114,46,218,15,20,363,152,282,0.14800000000000002,0.774,0.078,-0.9712,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,8,12,1,0,12,0,19,5,1,3,0,51,44,16,0,10,4,2,4,1,1,0,3,0,2,3,14,19,0,2,11,2,3,9,6,9,0,2,12,4,26,3,51,31,4,36,0,1,0,1,8,16,1,5,14,147,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565420688843773,0.1385243040473233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838311905282336,0.0,0.08817624682211088,0.0,0.11431040008436286,0.08059490532788695,0.0,0.09485202307563577,0.10260893460733476,0.0,0.0,0.32488150151835826,0.0,0.1924803827272156,0.14052709532081664,0.12729945803017498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491177478738805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927626655301287,0.11699000607157715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711445329662434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484203652654146,0.08234425324744532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905227883781873,0.1065592300645337,0.0,0.11057123307870792,0.0,0.0,0.09218673459251522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325343815654647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011843916645952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024514771912816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0563119142163465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799288895956164,0.0,0.10906509186904596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225068380978139,0.0,0.1709328200608628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810551718963163,0.3506522824912349,0.0,0.0,0.12798645418954824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064362494430444,0.0,0.12652468822747284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22058316765451336,0.13473684013188653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665279553184965,0.0,0.0,0.12024494782382868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636543055952616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657593453157875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721106219782119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825633692597603,0.1253735676579406,0.11259567166448604,0.0,0.0,0.09955063885760376,0.0,0.0,0.2719415478569781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22267770645826002
mentalhealth,albireou,2019/01/11,a safe space I’m worn out. I have no one to talk to and I don’t necessarily want to talk to anyone in particular because I don’t need advice or for things to be fixed. I just want to get things out. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I don’t want to do anything. Are there any subreddits that are a safe space to just vent without unsolicited advice? Is it okay to just let it out here? I’m so exhausted and I don’t want to cope in a harmful way. I just want to be heard. I just want to feel care for for a moment. I just want to feel like someone actually gives two shits about my existence without invalidating me. I just want to cry out loud in peace. Hundred of people and places and still I can’t find a place to rest my head from the troubles and just scream.,0.8979878048780492,2.7884293475609745,2.941646341463418,92.22881097560978,81.74390243902441,6.051219512195122,20.615853658536587,7.1686216300943375,0.3157512195121952,599,17,141,8,16,202,83,164,0.118,0.7,0.182,0.5601,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,13,11,1,0,6,1,14,3,2,0,0,35,33,7,0,9,11,0,3,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,9,0,2,4,0,0,0,9,5,0,2,2,6,16,6,30,28,1,14,0,0,0,0,4,11,1,1,4,93,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.12745224156739834,0.0,0.0,0.2552525936424158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881629784263634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132248375286936,0.0,0.10747729401766938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961597154970977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316113037763888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346413690177165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19811437180867145,0.18660935697457795,0.0,0.0,0.11937116731399995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068236044046493,0.12528880821045038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403904219776985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355309162018375,0.0,0.12761461410479216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684240969905952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885017458056564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905454896648903,0.0,0.2729101424011797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406478843159644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066171498585904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430181400619787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20995169449751427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735371363405815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758270953220596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6162766116509348,0.10366865914604413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517983071687845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lxlpeep,2019/01/11,"black mirror bandersnatch so i just watched this movie for like the 6th time and i'm starting to question whether anything is real, and starting to feel like someone is controlling me. don't recommend this movie at all if you already dissasociate or get delusions. hopefully i don't have a full on mental breakdown 🙃",5.402586206896554,7.905144431034483,5.41331034482759,76.91272413793105,70.20689655172414,8.088275862068969,37.46206896551725,8.841846274778883,3.7190027586206895,259,15,42,5,5,81,47,58,0.037000000000000005,0.8270000000000001,0.136,0.6798,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,1,12,11,6,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,3,5,11,2,6,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,4,5,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089150030504589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23036248112411506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139706716099926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154344150336853,0.19998547072915804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462543744919769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780384110851363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735239978040702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821084281107997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135910321714411,0.0,0.0,0.3186270778506581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23718784011626856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962785719808668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16323222789387545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DogLover568,2019/01/11,"Adult ADD I never really realized I had ADD until I became an adult and then it really hit me. The countless times of watching someone talk but never able to focus on anything coming out of their mouth. Asking people something that they just told me and hearing snickers behind my back. Trying to read something un-interesting and having to read it 10x more then a normal person to be able to understand it. Jumping from task to task never fully finishing one because I forgot the last step. Also my least favorite not being able to have a moment alone without my mind wandering or having constant thoughts about anything and everything random. Living with ADD is so difficult, my friendships are hard to maintain and my job is near impossible. I was on adderall for a long time but my insurance ended and it was to costly each month so now I'm stuck trying to manage difficult tasks with a difficult disorder. ",7.677844311377242,8.341097413173658,7.881083832335332,68.30366167664671,62.892215568862284,10.033293413173652,34.66407185628742,9.888512548439397,3.7154435928143714,736,30,110,14,10,240,111,167,0.16,0.8190000000000001,0.021,-0.974,1,1,2,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,0,7,0,11,1,1,0,3,30,21,15,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,5,14,0,1,3,2,1,3,5,3,0,1,7,3,15,0,24,11,3,24,0,0,1,0,9,4,0,2,17,87,20,4,0.4193891303802932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447868859766687,0.0,0.111795112014667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300810133554663,0.0,0.13069074117815702,0.0,0.0,0.10749478463878903,0.0,0.08521857375021777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042220019038966,0.0,0.15107021974098733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021875919536907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381809607602315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256399693395239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523009480014166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756067673738858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872633303267345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139527054605072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344276189695112,0.12371539432675795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115448909401446,0.0,0.11158413422128516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234587518690608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697076767633104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472964287389704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691720566317906,0.12206480401840306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27966841535673753,0.0,0.17911427732936722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844901640068455,0.2152441613772217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123630322739234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098270776716568,0.16303278304186367,0.0,0.0,0.13358142886823765,0.0,0.1898251267351229,0.0,0.0,0.14553295842598546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475871858352814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,autumnsfantasy,2019/01/11,"Getting hospitalized tonight for the first time I don’t know what to expect. The reason I’m here is because I’m at the lowest I’ve been in awhile and am afraid of relapsing on cutting myself. I can’t control myself when I’m alone and in a dissociative state, so I needed to make myself safe. I’m proud of myself for doing the right thing, but a part of me is angry that I’m trying to get better. The wrong side of me wants to wallow in misery and cut myself until I bleed out. But I don’t want to make my mom sad anymore. I’ve brought books and a blanket to comfort myself, and they’re letting me keep my phone. My work is letting me go on leave. It’s relieving but it makes me angry. It’s a conflict of wanting to get better, then getting furious for being better. I hope while I’m here I can figure myself out. Thanks for reading. ",2.05910476190476,3.704184891428575,3.9965714285714284,87.18876190476192,77.22857142857143,5.80952380952381,23.095238095238088,6.42735559955562,0.6069238095238094,656,20,134,5,15,223,97,175,0.196,0.647,0.158,-0.8201,1,1,0,0,0,2,16.0,0,0,0,7,4,15,3,1,9,0,13,1,0,5,0,26,36,13,0,6,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,7,0,4,3,2,0,2,3,6,0,1,2,0,22,9,25,31,1,20,0,1,0,0,2,10,0,1,7,91,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302748677621792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561066982687618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595461502908854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4176444462074245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765467496544206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389138658173408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289572788043448,0.0,0.08945874232616245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634192042349404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991169504511386,0.0,0.0,0.08650746378487842,0.0,0.0,0.16667262067335234,0.0,0.3219212236669876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152137099787069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843546530983969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671623118183752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045780757824605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574508581310445,0.0,0.0,0.16184190884310548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344257950178025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449203784645711,0.0,0.0,0.1045750543935405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178602296112097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686987681878513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27853041232503234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459508889154547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210122328131272,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PancakesareFabulous,2019/01/11,"It's a Never Ending Cycle... Everytime I find myself going through a wave of suicidal depression the moment I seek out some form of counseling I feel fine, sometimes even great. Only to find myself right back at square one the moment something even remotely negative happens to me.",6.203400000000002,8.526737139999998,6.749000000000002,68.93950000000001,67.6,9.8,32.5,10.125756701596842,4.0382,227,10,32,6,4,74,40,50,0.21,0.687,0.104,-0.7906,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,2,6,2,7,3,2,9,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,5,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914240723592772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223062200720434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293826048845453,0.0,0.0,0.34211245902072795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094989299457166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.473412648775475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471863518102049,0.0,0.0,0.2855303403747014,0.0,0.0,0.2290183478540828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997441231069418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17549399426119108,0.19696870293357235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211705848235517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993782330192746,0.2561414089468199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832860306873939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oogabooga1986,2019/01/11,"Why do i try and give all of my stuff to my friends when they come over??? Whenever I have friends over, I get really nervous and try and give them random stuff. I’ve given away shirts, art, books, really anything. I ask people if they want things and I have no idea why??? Please help me out bc i want to figure this out. ",-0.2792424242424225,1.9912865303030325,1.2154545454545485,99.40984848484852,92.78787878787878,4.751515151515153,14.90909090909091,6.42735559955562,-0.6108363636363632,245,5,57,3,9,78,44,66,0.065,0.725,0.21,0.8468,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,14,11,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,12,2,8,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,2,1,35,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912665970026282,0.0,0.18077442196677146,0.0,0.18167705322706848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16657074124102467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29879366218385783,0.0,0.10102760643092988,0.370995375917786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961153021767913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182906797197143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340580952748023,0.0,0.0,0.2122616930500296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477549645699313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4427237324189189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846613367138732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625704564145995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281087358025761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489718760055876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sprucemoose101,2019/01/11,"Girlfriend worried she will get sent away if she sees a psychologist So basically my girlfriend wants to see a psychologist about some of her mental health issues. She was struggled with depression in the past, and was on ssris for a while. she had a traumatic experience at the start of last year, and hasn't had therapy for it, which i think is really unhealthy.  A few months ago she had an experience on drugs where she thought she was living in a simulation. That has made her question reality sometimes, saying that she thinks no on is actually real.

I think it is almost neccesary that she sees soemone about this to try work through some of her thoughts, however she is worried she will get sent to a mental institution if she tells someone. I told her she wont, but her mum had convinced her she will. I just wamt to know if anyone has experience with this and or and confirm she will not be sent away. Thanks
",7.0844827586206875,7.23470250574713,7.200597701149423,74.42917241379313,64.17241379310343,10.408275862068963,34.64137931034483,10.125756701596842,3.363935172413793,732,30,137,15,10,236,99,174,0.078,0.879,0.043,-0.2838,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,10,0,20,2,0,1,0,26,39,11,0,4,7,1,0,0,2,5,2,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,7,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,14,4,26,2,22,19,3,19,0,1,3,0,31,9,0,8,7,104,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.12863814350478706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685123834972384,0.0,0.13199954932645516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217220996464733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24770007359442525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353711314633673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287034669114655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3868382851536175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774191678864978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011940944940424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375867292053007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244529697937467,0.10745159440526808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640023402703893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473208457369893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656888435999992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521815242520843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583792625384127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766953128432736,0.0,0.0,0.15004099739363205,0.08444781807509623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482923839288902,0.0,0.0,0.31513247440177755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169138649718424,0.0,0.13037420071680092,0.0,0.09330348284711963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780778374833608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521724146082515,0.12136293675580427,0.15074864116394954,0.0,0.0,0.25339645226388496,0.0,0.20930207585336968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259604803310315,0.0,0.08949771066620295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775135830611732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596715571006058,0.26774096316049345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488831161479968
mentalhealth,Yeeticus-Rex,2019/01/11,"Heartburn from taking sertraline I’ve been taking sertraline for a few of weeks I think, I’m on 50mg each night for my depression and anxiety. About 3 nights so far, I’ve felt sick for about an hour, then had heartburn for at least 3 hours. Heartburn meds just don’t work, I’ve tried a few different types, and it just doesn’t work. It’s unbearable pain, I can’t think or do anything other than sit there thinking about the pain. It’s worse than any other heartburn I’ve ever had. Is there a reason for this and is there any way to prevent this?",3.779196428571428,4.8177428125000015,4.303928571428571,89.14107142857144,71.76785714285714,7.742857142857144,25.607142857142854,8.07648339933343,1.2925857142857144,433,13,93,6,8,137,68,112,0.173,0.8170000000000001,0.01,-0.9538,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,10,3,0,0,5,0,9,7,0,1,1,14,16,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,1,3,0,15,12,4,12,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,7,55,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24134658089120184,0.0,0.13575012032880196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602768897529275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528389517139928,0.0,0.0,0.18539933367791409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605152876184629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703815298458276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495085021383313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19710891571519995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330529353365196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776423946439648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18244997677930624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26684329769267223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411117920722523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120478105352162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408529573862865,0.14234110825030138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583740077800706,0.0,0.180838516404012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,freyjasgold,2019/01/11,"Thinking about trying ECT after years of TRD. Any thoughts? Hello all, 

I'm new to this group and Reddit in general. I've suffered from severe clinical depression and phobic anxiety ever since I was very young. 

Around age 17 I started down a painful and unsuccessful road of psychiatric treatment. I've exhausted the list of SSRI, SNRI, and Atypical antidepressant medications as well as most antipsychotic and mood stabilizers. 

I started researching electro-convulsive therapy and finally asked my psychiatrist about it 2 days ago. She gave a good report and I'm quite hopeful. 

I'd be interested to hear from those who have either undergone ECT or had a family member do it. Did it help? What were the side effects? Any long term issues? Was inpatient or outpatient better?  Any answers to questions I haven't thought to ask?
",5.13429885057471,8.266858889655175,6.002068965517242,69.24816091954025,73.89655172413794,9.935632183908046,33.114942528735625,10.047579312681364,4.463197701149425,669,34,100,22,15,219,109,145,0.14300000000000002,0.748,0.109,-0.6561,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,5,10,0,0,5,0,9,4,0,1,2,22,21,11,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,8,1,6,5,17,12,4,18,0,2,0,0,10,5,0,5,13,58,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477702573311361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34008691077229936,0.0,0.12752570429107513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839911114334256,0.31168560880522017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743336695672066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750826613400828,0.0,0.14357920945651784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507904748330887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715073810336722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261264768168547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982077522821684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788398860524386,0.0,0.11173607489531666,0.0,0.0,0.16557157122880226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739923912416515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475250184201963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16793358214790388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610007327394332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773814720402936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867431183959282,0.17730688793865473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18832452623168794,0.0,0.13789667691979904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23598345836858986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19063696552744805,0.0,0.0,0.10681518223984293,0.0,0.2646837298910534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317894377902095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754567070767354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988409624821605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734989058636933
mentalhealth,AmbientBananas,2019/01/11,"Why do I always have to feel sorry for having depression. Like I have punished people I like with something I wish I could take away? For example, sometimes I have depressive episodes at work, and then I get over it. But after I do, I have to turn around and see a bunch of faces looking at me like ""what the fucks your problem, man? Do you not realize who you were the last X hours/minutes?"" I have told my boss I am seeing a therapist and what not. I have made it clear. But I still feel the guilt of making my coworkers feel ""unfairly punished"". I don't like making people feel bad, but I also don't want to apologize for a ""thing"" I have. 

Anyone else have this feeling?",3.4622222222222203,4.655860592592592,4.534259259259262,86.5991666666667,72.7037037037037,7.77037037037037,26.092592592592588,8.238735603445708,1.5461259259259257,520,17,108,8,10,170,80,135,0.14800000000000002,0.752,0.1,-0.6309,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,0,1,3,12,3,1,6,0,17,2,1,4,1,25,35,8,0,4,5,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,3,8,22,4,15,31,1,9,0,2,3,1,7,5,1,0,8,79,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453385217141325,0.12957632614749284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888708807597992,0.15955946720850514,0.0,0.13862896239553474,0.0,0.0,0.14630949903581436,0.0,0.1300245238929803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433436597206984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682527769226623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008890915863394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3936981738733178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396597678402775,0.08136029412158292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693729735240664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043190056769364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077043693624246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735150089258142,0.20789633837956156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159213000536434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900854282761253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481865738704318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988531560393274,0.1540167809986404,0.17432226428679473,0.0,0.0,0.12436281123180146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708640828551707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808096362905473,0.10345729043192237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488026588616931,0.0,0.0,0.16938493380482175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185110135855973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140518297300186,0.0,0.17907696481535307,0.0,0.0,0.11337022449836655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SweatMagic,2019/01/11,"want to stop taking effexor 37.5 mg I asked my doctor about prescribing me effexor a couple of days ago (for a combo of general anxiety and also to help prevent migraines). She did, but I wish I hadn’t started it now. I’m reading how bad it is to get off of it, and I don’t want to go through that. Since I’ve only taken 2 pills so far, I’m wondering if I can stop taking them. I know they say don’t go cold turkey, but I’ve only taken two, so... Thoughts? I feel like I made a mistake taking this and suggesting it to my doctor. Help!",0.6304031620553339,2.3831845304347863,3.5707509881422936,88.08276679841896,81.95652173913044,6.616600790513835,22.62845849802372,7.686295010490155,1.070652173913044,411,14,90,7,11,147,73,115,0.12,0.7390000000000001,0.142,0.1386,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,2,0,20,26,10,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,3,0,3,4,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,6,3,14,1,12,20,0,10,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,7,53,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322961898443016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823577169847884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223713237132734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161600405733647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443305582110579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912658762041084,0.0,0.11148015138442713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35385828137381536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740301521669758,0.1234909435266419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031201434314867,0.0,0.1964802055621508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23172831247980194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499912375887716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445047643423363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356394732556784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629350531875556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290639331108362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374649039601585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299125984663005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235092523192112,0.0,0.0,0.2890367566364729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899067536063984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723122573881533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16885872641385255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20391415918266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19878002641882586,0.0,0.1874588788180588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ah-breezy,2019/01/11,"Is this normal? ***Hello, I'm new here. I wanted to post this because I wanted to know if anyone else has had a similar experience. It's also important to note that I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I've also struggled with insomnia and sleep before in the past.***

Whenever I attempt to fall asleep at night, I always get the same feeling. I'm worried that I'll end up scaring myself and end up not being able to fall asleep. I do this almost every night. I'll get in bed, wish my girlfriend a good night's sleep, and then try to close my eyes. Then, out of nowhere, I'll start having thoughts running through my head, thoughts that don't even make sense but I'll be almost convinced that it could actually happen.

This rarely happens but, if I'm just starting to fall asleep, I'll hear conversations. Voices out of nowhere that don't make sense because I can't understand. Sometimes it won't even be voices, it'll be a loud noise or bang. But even after that, I'll just fall back asleep and remember it the next morning.

The one thought that always scares me is the thought that if I don't have my body completely covered by the blankets, then someone or something will be able to hurt whatever part of my body that is not covered. It's like a horror film or something, I'll be terrified that someone could be in the room, waiting for a chance to strike at an uncovered limb. So, I'll cover my whole body with a blanket and make a tiny hole so that I can stick my nose in it and breathe in cold air, otherwise, I'll just sweat and it'll just get harder and harder to breathe.

I don't want to wake my girlfriend up, so, I just lay there until I eventually fall asleep. It's really scary and it happens very frequently. I'm not sure why.

EDIT: I have gone to therapy in the past for years but stopped doing so two years ago because of college and lack of funds.",2.790378181818184,4.738608896000002,3.788484848484849,88.1409090909091,76.03999999999998,6.785454545454545,26.56363636363637,7.686295010490155,1.4640400000000002,1476,57,300,21,33,475,177,375,0.125,0.8420000000000001,0.033,-0.9865,0,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,1,17,9,0,3,16,0,30,19,17,3,1,60,59,31,0,11,18,0,1,1,2,4,2,4,2,0,25,17,0,2,8,1,1,7,9,5,0,2,6,8,23,4,39,40,4,46,0,2,1,0,5,16,0,8,23,181,48,2,0.17689986312799175,0.0,0.08631437415044023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840552756799543,0.0,0.1771396597903973,0.0,0.0,0.14146675663129482,0.1471948572750605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766395554834792,0.0,0.0,0.061846248712890066,0.09062740741664037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801253768426804,0.0,0.16175477195648502,0.0,0.07526437711567519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947438030735936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273807041447987,0.0,0.0,0.14124014623483033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618179644911532,0.08977481868102316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738885681743954,0.0,0.15668077207024048,0.0,0.0,0.17526103682054198,0.0,0.07452288215693405,0.0,0.0,0.0865210052807846,0.0,0.0,0.04472294302183859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386343158176706,0.0,0.0,0.07418760611730042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23464794711497025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907751475905338,0.0,0.09968950121784384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946874811042544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860976922202555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04321216878355261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712304843182575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542549507091694,0.0940675056609054,0.2490128070303708,0.08666215323406536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059935962729984575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578265650089912,0.16887093599240827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471058461895914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566632910498348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019653017832096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771076234217564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770276180935228,0.0,0.14988667996659372,0.1361861571812893,0.0874792439756858,0.0,0.12521063362059126,0.0,0.0,0.07394810331326246,0.0,0.09246707300975772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336301373712288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011502052314008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28087746283433085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060051697525959825,0.0,0.08640273086029923,0.09207949811249426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729804567664957,0.1565101838854525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981230572972067,0.09875118986204327,0.10171305616136636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982519896508795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391771196459027
mentalhealth,flashbros61,2019/01/11,Can anybody at any body fat percentage feel fat? Is feeling fat an emotion? Can you feel fat at 6 percent body fat? Or 8 percent body fats? Is feeling fat an emotion?,0.28181818181818485,2.701146878787881,2.002181818181821,92.46327272727272,95.36363636363636,3.852121212121212,30.842424242424244,5.6839178017228535,1.481853333333334,129,8,25,1,5,42,18,33,0.0,0.88,0.12,0.4515,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,10,10,0,0,5,8,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,8,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493996276463259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7320923753271721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.494252935689149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44433606741926335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,runthewater,2019/01/11,"Look up and listen to sounds of wherever you go Next time you're walking around town or shopping try taking out your earphones and keeping your head up and your gaze at eye level, look at people's faces, listen to your surroundings. You'd be amazed at how just being in the moment will help you feel better.

Head up, shoulders back. It's okay to be in your own world sometimes but the outside world is big and beautiful and is there to be experienced. 

Bad times can be really bad but if you work to fix them, they will end and you'll be a stronger person because of it. My mum always reminds m that there's no problem that's unsolvable and you're never alone. 
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mentalhealth,aquagrl,2019/01/11,"Im worried for my mental health. My insurance is running out on my 19th birthday in just a little less than two weeks. I can feel my mental deteriorating at such a fast rate at the worst time.. I don’t know what to do. I know I have bipolar 2 but I’ve ALWAYS suspected there’s something more.. And now I don’t even have the time to figure it out and it’s stressing me out and hurting me even more. I never wanted to find out but now I can’t imagine going years without therapy or a diagnosis or additional medications. I’ve never felt so alone.. I have no support system and the people around me make me feel invalidated and pathetic as they don’t believe in mental illnesses.. I’m just a failure. I can’t help but feel like I’m losing my grip with reality. At this point I know nothing truly matters but I still spend everyday in my room wishing things were different and I could be the person I want to be. I can’t even explain how I feel in fear of being put down and put down and put down. Since that’s how it usually goes. God, what am I going to do. How do you guys live like this AND cope. I’m not good at coping. Or helping myself. Or anyone.",1.0717500000000015,3.2156276750000004,3.592333333333337,86.40600000000002,82.66666666666666,6.173333333333334,22.516666666666666,7.404127859558343,0.9590366666666659,902,31,189,14,25,314,132,240,0.166,0.741,0.093,-0.9594,1,1,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,1,15,9,0,2,8,0,20,4,0,4,2,52,39,22,0,4,12,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,1,2,9,16,0,0,13,0,1,6,11,5,0,1,2,6,29,4,28,33,4,39,0,2,0,0,7,20,0,4,14,134,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107312114822262,0.0,0.0,0.0972701456581986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817391820894175,0.0,0.0,0.1040657639058978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170624291017044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333511952373726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221355952393158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316339972107089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315449744320851,0.2364325636115615,0.08351336704010134,0.11224231043708643,0.0,0.10684446130166483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287390196096804,0.09805015455910958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574935637562628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425920923062815,0.0,0.0,0.15671118108781726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514384333153286,0.0,0.1262720354685039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273551074419093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422284798790976,0.11716448783922788,0.10322482153825127,0.0,0.0,0.13078117258480434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803164249682415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177644284863324,0.3534230454245928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032093808001534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121686808938684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104372508222978,0.10207255101291184,0.0,0.0,0.11050826382708694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525502951053867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670086911694724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999531363313995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933564727650248,0.0,0.1339085288718268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265670875261595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368531181533422,0.0,0.07766315042966172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633063353224012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419429145329812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287488093362519,0.0,0.13790127060468352,0.0,0.09377011037901828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442920454304405,0.11268740639585195,0.0,0.0,0.11871760126488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752797525740857
mentalhealth,ExpressoDepresso1997,2019/01/11,Suicide + weed = ? I have major depressive disorder and tried to commit suicide multiple times through my teens. Since I got out of the hospital from when I took a serious overdose I smoked weed daily to help my insomnia and stop me self harming. I quit all smoking just over a week ago and have been sober since because I took ketamine as well as alcohol on new years and throughout december I had been as depressed as when I tried to take my life. Since being sober I have noticed very little change besides the fact the time I used to smoke (10pm+) is no longer anywhere as enjoyable. I was wondering if there is any point in me giving up completely and instead I could smoke once per week (without tobacco now) as I know I could never go back to daily smoking. I have taken many antidepressants before; some for more than a year each and I'm sure that is not a solution either. I do not drink in excess and probably only have alcohol once or twice a month and do not take any other drugs except about once a year maximum at christmas or new years. What should I do?,5.772307692307693,6.321691230769233,6.250961538461539,78.74403846153847,66.98076923076923,9.66923076923077,32.346153846153854,9.661875296680813,3.0021230769230782,848,34,159,17,13,275,131,208,0.139,0.7909999999999999,0.07,-0.9395,0,0,8,0,0,3,17.0,0,0,0,1,9,7,0,0,9,0,19,6,0,1,5,33,31,19,2,4,10,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,10,3,1,2,1,0,3,6,4,1,1,8,0,22,3,26,19,6,30,0,2,0,0,3,9,0,5,18,109,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717387156918504,0.2343065648519017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909433236257882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429305696966169,0.0,0.06682495449559094,0.0,0.0932808073924464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159662361274046,0.0,0.11493727066902898,0.0,0.0,0.17504954378036347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883566844534388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563706268955502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073884705110676,0.1271274797417444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051600419426231,0.062301082479111126,0.0,0.08767525337627037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347775653656204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024574564965969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742972487803279,0.0,0.10987070166177226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114016868919316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749975930861242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454775144131607,0.21174849131794607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480612207117825,0.0,0.35023365743593377,0.0,0.08337297077035925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362884445641002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819176568168847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659718990861047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114360339524669,0.0,0.0,0.2720429851345701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164945019872543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23981878952735436,0.0,0.10331805730770996,0.0,0.1648451913758525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278437062323429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24358961191624134,0.14885317716505378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467877915613516,0.0,0.0904501730026332,0.0,0.0,0.17586536692554314,0.0,0.09856393419177337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567232987990956,0.11888109580576862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823735890891736
mentalhealth,superstarcola,2019/01/11,"Do you have experience with inpatient therapy, and did it help? First of all, hi! I'm a looooooong time lurker, first time poster. I decided it was finally time to join when I was seeking communities of people who share my various quirks.

Like many people who suffer from major depression, this spiral started some time ago and continues to get progressively worse over time. I'm feeling very out of sorts and helpless... I've been seeking help from literally every outlet I can think of-- from my family doctor- to a new therapist- to medication- to self help books, and nothing seems to help. My depression is negatively impacting everything in my life. My social circle in the city I live in minuscule at best, my depression is taking a toll on my partner and our relationship, I'm finding work increasingly stressful, less enjoyable, and aggravating the issue. 

I started regularly seeing my GP again when I started having (very scary) thoughts of suicide. I was very open with her, as she was with me. We started trying new medications, but my GP fairly admitted that a psychiatrist may be a better judge. She referred me off, noting that I was having suicidal thoughts, in an effort to rush the referral. Seven weeks later, I was finally contacted, and an appointment was made for three weeks after that. I was off-put by the wait time, in the meantime I met with some new therapists to work with.
I finally met with the psychiatrist, and to put it bluntly, he was awful. He spent the entire appointment discussing how terrible he thinks men are, prescribed me a family of medications I have documented issues with (spoiler alert: it didn't help) and sent me on my way, never to be seen again. I met with my GP immediately after, expressed my disappointment, and my fears of self harm. She put me on another waitlist for a comprehensive program in my area. They were very up front about their long waits (9 months +) so I needed to do something in the meantime. No suggestion as to what, however.
Long story short, while i wait in limbo, feeling very failed by Canada's mental health system, my mental state is steadily declining. I've been trying to mitigate this with therapy for myself, and couples therapy with my partner, working with a personal trainer for fitness, being diligent about my medication, regular visits to my GP, etc... but I'm still getting worse. The other day I came up with a plan, and that really scared me. I need help, I've been asking for help from every outlet I know of, and I'm feeling forgotten or ignored.
My boyfriend and I have talked about taking me to emergency, and I'm honestly scared of either outcome. If they think I'm ""not bad enough"" and send me home, I will leave feeling more worthless than ever. If they think I should stay, I haven't stayed overnight in a hospital, and I dont know what to expect.
Have any of you done inpatient at a hospital? What can I expect? Is it worth going, or will I just be shoved aside?

TLDR; I'm struggling more than I am capable of handling with my depression and am seeking thoughts/experience/ advice on seeking inpatient therapy.

Thanks in advance. I know this is hard to talk about. 

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mentalhealth,charlotter97,2019/01/11,"Teeth Brushing? By biggest issue with my depression is motivation, mainly in regards to personal hygiene. My teeth suffer the most, at 21 I am currently in the early stages of gum disease. My dentist has told me it's now or never to turn it around and avoid full-blown gum disease. I still can't bring myself to brush my teeth. A good week is 2minutes, 3 times a week. Does anyone have any advice on how to actually just brush my teeth? I hate the idea of looking after myself and making myself feel 'good', but I know it needs to be done. I just can't bring myself to do it. ",3.3483671497584564,4.840653208695656,4.682028985507248,84.2533816425121,73.43478260869566,6.850241545893723,24.951690821256037,7.3871296695380915,1.1794444444444443,449,14,88,5,9,149,77,115,0.081,0.885,0.033,-0.644,1,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,1,5,0,10,5,4,3,1,18,20,5,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,4,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,2,5,15,2,16,17,2,18,0,2,1,0,2,6,0,2,9,62,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.20986575034191535,0.0,0.0,0.21015235366871826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624692951735271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503736720530597,0.0,0.0,0.1914473653090616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18522928575398945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881988528641892,0.22007917339591945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873987197564608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607611774312637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123254181679688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427744957286145,0.0,0.22446485447518788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819034537569785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805946981001483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435529977011867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946290725428136,0.1658661177786294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187780497911564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174573149314318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540214774315114,0.0,0.0,0.20549729650845186,0.0,0.0,0.23392153226581056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34501338198095965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,miolky,2019/01/11,"How to recover from post-anxiety slump? I have GAD and PTSD. I’ve come a long way in coping while I have a panic episode, so I’m happy about that!

The thing is, after I feel so tired. Probably from my heart-rate going from super fast to normal and general mental exhaustion. I unfortunately feel this way 2-5 times a week and it takes me HOURS before I feel like I have the energy to do things.

I’m a college student who also works so I really need more efficient ways of recovering, but I also understand I’ll need to designate some time of recovery. Thanks!",2.715625000000003,4.7093878839285725,5.0030000000000046,79.14200000000002,76.41071428571428,9.122857142857145,23.7,9.642632912329526,2.3539792857142863,441,14,86,13,10,154,79,112,0.075,0.784,0.14,0.7833,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,7,6,0,1,6,0,5,2,0,1,0,15,17,11,0,3,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,10,4,12,17,2,14,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,9,52,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685590003958341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845254035372836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428811005845127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464168032836328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25470469159072745,0.1199566651379944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954284968264836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787458915305175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19897702407594905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535990858112626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203352596605534,0.0,0.0,0.14859720624284364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692162241592242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490098610223308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16451851868881126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19700904404788214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081368139023094,0.0,0.181037986620107,0.0,0.19628063132570367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756899476491916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624924155488015,0.0,0.0,0.15459119496647158,0.0,0.0,0.22310709913490068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958221627781434,0.19299062384724072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748027491327325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998431857470375,0.1346892135876578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224224030276018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StoicHippie420,2019/01/11,"Chronic nightmares? Everytime I fall asleep, I have nightmares, they usually always have the same people, and similar situations always happen, I've looked into it a little bit, and am assuming it's from guilt, but I don't know how to make it stop. It's to a point now where I don't even want to go to bed anymore because my dreams are so awful.. any advice?..",6.1523239436619725,5.886081380281695,7.1212323943661975,75.62156690140849,66.1830985915493,9.916901408450704,31.834507042253517,9.516144504307137,2.8412507042253528,282,10,53,5,4,95,53,71,0.092,0.8540000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.1263,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,3,1,6,2,1,2,0,11,12,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,2,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,6,12,2,9,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,1,3,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471723786959742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4209366670291159,0.0,0.0,0.17200950079659902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508508859046547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541913348602519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761475813172156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706606481829794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437529908280987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223676122504802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901052400993624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535147278308873,0.0,0.0,0.21240790469404805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884101125354978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535840667707672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391123193030163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843178472596015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147116630333124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785803101210893,0.0,0.14919197672272375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,earlieradjoint,2019/01/11,"Can anyone that has psychosis or schizophrenia tell me what they experienced as their disorder started to develop? Long ass post that just explains circumstantial bullshit. If you like just skip it and answer the question in the header/ title thing. Thanks.

17 Male

Ever since my late childhood/ early adolescent years I have suffered with depression and anxiety but over the last couple months my mental state has started to deteriorate rapidly I'm worried that I may be on the cusp of developing a more severe mental disorder. Recently I have noticed that I am experiencing extremely paranoid delusions. Delusions where I am always thinking people are going to start fighting me at any moment. Whenever I walk past someone I don't know on the street I tense up and get ready to fight them and I vividly imagine defending myself against an attack and planning where I would run to. I am aware that this is delusional but I can't seem to stop doing it. I can never put my guard down until I become comfortable with a person and even then I am suspicious that something is going on. Even my close friends, who I meet up with regularly and have done so for four years, are becoming objects of my paranoia. I always think the worst of them, I think that they are trying to steal from me and I think that they aren't really my friends, they don't like me, and that they are pretending to be friendly so they can manipulate me and take advantage of me. I truly think everyone is fake most of the time and I never trust anyone at all so I always prepare myself for the worst case scenarios. I have also started to notice that I am making extravagant links to random matters that are completely unrelated whatsoever. For example my teacher may be teaching a specific topic like the human biological response to physical attraction to another person and I'll believe that it's because she can tell that I ""fancy"" another member of the class, so I will watch the teachers eye contact to see whether she looks at me or another when saying specific words like ""attraction"". I also think things like my mood has an effect on the weather or I will count the  amount of white vans that pass me in case they are undercover police. I know sounds crazy as fuck but I'm always in a paranoid bubble that I can't break out of. However, I have tried to diagnose these delusions by looking at aspects that might be causing them other than mental illness. Firstly I stopped cannabis and drug consumption for a month just to clear my mind but the delusions still persisted through that month and in fact continued to further increase in frequency as they have been doing for months. ( I know it is possible that drugs may have caused all this to begin and the damage is probably irreversible due to my frequent abuse of weed and infrequent abuse of several other drugs including but not exclusively LSD, MDMA, 2C-B, Codeine, Benzos, Nitrous Oxide, Inhalants, Morphine, Pregabalin.)  Secondly I just attributed this all to the vivid imagination that I've always had but I'm pretty sure that most people, even those that are heavily creative, don't believe figments of their imaginations to be reality as I have started doing. Thirdly a reason for my paranoia around people may be because of a mugging that happened to me a few months back where my friends ran off and left me alone to deal with it myself but this doesn't explain the non-violent delusions I am experiencing as well as the violent ones. This has lead me into researching causes and a close friend of mine suggested I might be experiencing the early symptoms of something like psychosis. 

Other things that I have started experiencing more often are: Auditory hallucinations before I sleep (but I'm still completely awake and aware of them. Also, they don't say much they just sound like abstracted human voices), visual hallucinations when I smoke weed that none of my friends seem to get when smoking the same buds, visual and tactile hallucinations when waking up (once I saw a hand on my pillow for a brief second and it scared the shit out of me then I realised it wasn't there), constant visual static at all times (what once were solid colours are now objects constructed of sporadically changing tiny pixel like things that sometimes flash quite bright, incoherent thoughts and thought patterns (regularly forgetting topics of conversations and blanking out when people are speaking to me, lack of motivation, slight lack of coordination (some days I walk like Jack Sparrow and crash into things even when I'm completely sober lol), night terrors (being trapped in dreams that are truly terrifying. I'm pretty sure I sold my soul to the devil in one because he trapped me in a cycle of being asleep and being awake for a few hours. (I'm not even religious but it was a bad night)), inconsistent sleep schedule (recently I've sleeping alright, I just wake up really early which is unusual because I usually sleep till 11-12am if I'm left alone), manic and depressive episodes, confusion, suicidal thoughts (this has been the average for a while so nothings changed with that lol).

A lot of these things don't really affect me at all apart from the paranoia and delusions which really distract me from school and have caused me to fight with many of my friends. All other hallucinations are kinda minor but are becoming more frequent, I'm just scared what will happen if they get worse. I don't think this shit will mix well with my severe depression and all that other crap. I just need someone to tell me what they experienced as they developed psychosis or something similar just so I can judge whether I should get this checked out or not. Also if anyone can give advice or anything it will be great and I appreciate it. Also sorry if this is the wrong place to post, idk, just need to get this shit of my chest idk who to talk about it to. ",9.33667908131595,8.705545560521418,8.85586592178771,66.99470515207946,59.87523277467412,11.791682184978276,39.62818125387958,11.018912242520237,4.497563749224084,4748,212,778,103,54,1519,455,1074,0.16699999999999998,0.7040000000000001,0.13,-0.9936,2,4,7,0,6,0,94.0,0,1,19,8,46,57,10,5,43,3,91,22,15,12,14,159,146,82,1,11,36,0,1,9,8,13,6,6,1,5,71,46,0,3,26,2,2,11,17,27,2,7,13,25,113,29,122,109,25,118,2,5,11,2,57,44,6,28,68,575,184,7,0.0,0.10793703434026154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04451028586186717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435075427819277,0.0,0.18212894545053285,0.18950349021656995,0.0,0.0,0.030975111749160792,0.14328735703439024,0.034845118846263734,0.0,0.0,0.0955474684770564,0.0,0.03748322406539864,0.04054856778259378,0.0,0.05181894761700341,0.0,0.035024629279187536,0.03803179457861843,0.11106581452605456,0.1509169953584633,0.03875913171543437,0.10263701178156903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871668688073999,0.09637031981713337,0.0,0.1432728426373216,0.04922265260899161,0.0,0.0,0.05039947606283701,0.0,0.029375554765373218,0.04695936734628037,0.11769473405798145,0.04623161919800605,0.0,0.0,0.10440697496619382,0.0,0.0,0.04661278709986648,0.0,0.0,0.15846831314071008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150424540600191,0.041201983911028965,0.0,0.04352434437089813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03874424357863114,0.0,0.0,0.24633913849000535,0.04210962894866551,0.11898824545725065,0.04369507544790813,0.05177347686674391,0.0,0.0,0.050218305876639606,0.0,0.0,0.080558258213865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485692265057182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509817473295599,0.037128789806184934,0.051381637180204734,0.0,0.09897897788390926,0.0,0.0,0.20027795156205824,0.0,0.0,0.040309730718411284,0.07649994394301877,0.0,0.0,0.03872441825260836,0.0,0.0,0.030404536768026163,0.04617987941481795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770905795962393,0.09664129889372212,0.04599184665771215,0.0,0.18178523486847206,0.0,0.03348400435622838,0.06754851385049221,0.07026091488618777,0.0,0.0,0.08548993611047087,0.0,0.04370581822108152,0.10371644627598056,0.0,0.09701711666242804,0.06173082042179068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0434819970739867,0.12631270291052746,0.07954384992997203,0.04758936345969745,0.0,0.0,0.051350034607940215,0.08724734948358133,0.09268010392497077,0.04910989025280753,0.0,0.0,0.0457896654362426,0.051025682942912494,0.04844732767271589,0.0,0.0,0.1167202889545013,0.046832305628712725,0.08994895219550306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244532348495711,0.09120566683839254,0.046098361753325705,0.03629692504154194,0.08293281308508457,0.0,0.1543733602889515,0.14026722248614618,0.037678883033712515,0.0,0.18232893248849974,0.0,0.07718761243829432,0.10519831704504544,0.04504945991128207,0.050988754639023415,0.1934403349893434,0.0,0.07275152022675807,0.07616257215602087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049823582744200484,0.0,0.08585942389895312,0.047343202644480484,0.034247433442080366,0.03661083245390728,0.1194363870706147,0.041935710624007735,0.0,0.0,0.18156573696539846,0.2043032358297032,0.0,0.10848325922993847,0.05312037049595614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185002104161031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050166160573423546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190865011830295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0462575636904839,0.0464186667445838,0.03235694279468269,0.049801050577074436,0.0,0.05866456047288395
mentalhealth,Throwinthisaway32165,2019/01/11,I always knew I was right I always thought I was so wrong for thinking these thoughts of murder rape and suicide but today after all my friends have ditched and we're just being crude dicks I can finally realize theirs a reason for why I'm becoming more narrcistical and just want to murder and rape others I can't trust anybody because all they do it betray my trust others don't care about betraying people it's not themselves they are hurting it's just us and they didn't realize what they were making but now I just want to stop trying to stop him and just let go he will show all of them the pain they give the torture they give others the pain he has had to hold onto and can't forget because it always repeats time to start making weapons and testing them anyone asks why I'm making I will just like to then it's easy they will just believe anything those stupid fucking morons will finally pay looks like the therapist was to late the fire you played with has caught up to you and is gonna burn you.,5.937939244663383,6.056492576354683,5.830160098522168,83.39364737274221,66.58620689655173,8.343021346469621,29.72454844006568,7.793537801064563,1.7998706075533657,815,26,160,8,12,255,117,203,0.324,0.5770000000000001,0.1,-0.9965,0,0,0,0,0,1,1.0,1,3,10,0,10,21,10,0,6,0,22,6,1,4,3,39,43,13,3,2,10,0,1,2,1,5,2,0,0,0,11,10,0,3,7,2,1,2,5,14,0,0,10,2,25,7,17,26,4,17,0,1,1,4,21,3,2,0,14,107,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299545386785042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242374740907557,0.0,0.10877336956122716,0.0,0.12357101597461848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115213125721234,0.14598308548694433,0.0,0.14892226978258338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347669289419998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28959476814269897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212240205537212,0.12219883283592965,0.0,0.2535993478793867,0.07512127989404435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150206388438966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491054718215275,0.0,0.0,0.13516361687016815,0.0,0.12915352687565698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099841170824652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646947265077468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28129895119784376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163738349983218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359036692966537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288150839069552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935581075289041,0.0,0.0,0.2210177970125042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458412033190352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347186198958304,0.0,0.0846959899206636,0.0,0.20987326004537152,0.07707556960821553,0.0,0.1252917513448992,0.0,0.0,0.08974194941703456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589969843152555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592708265437785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385448604698376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451873375422974,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,longhairgrey0,2019/01/11,"Advice/Vent. Should I be worried about making my therapist uncomfortable? TW: rape and abuse Hi there, I just wanted anyone’s opinion on whether this is rational or not . I’m going to be seeing a new therapist soon and feel ready for discussing issues I’ve never spoken about before, mainly the trauma from my last relationship. I was subject to non consensual sex a few times but not in a violent or aggressive manner. I suffer from chronic depression and anxiety and froze when it happened. I stayed with this person for three years because I never truly accepted it happened. Now in a new relationship, I’m feeling the effects of it and showing signs of PTSD. Because it’s not the conventional trauma, I know I have to go into details and I’m worried my therapist will be uncomfortable hearing it. I know it’s her job but I still feel anxious. Any opinion is appreciated. Im 18 and female if that helps anyone.

TL;DR I’m starting a new therapist and have a fear that my abuse story will make her uncomfortable. Any advice for overcoming this?",3.29104895104895,6.1897328205128215,5.052459207459208,74.62610139860142,79.76923076923076,7.442890442890443,28.35081585081585,8.438071523408619,2.772794871794871,840,38,134,19,22,284,112,195,0.258,0.6709999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9902,1,0,0,0,2,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,8,9,3,1,9,0,11,3,0,3,2,36,30,15,0,3,10,0,4,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,11,10,0,0,7,1,0,2,5,8,0,1,1,6,16,1,17,23,2,20,1,2,1,2,9,4,0,5,13,92,27,1,0.0,0.2665867302693529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993308871043624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300686759477594,0.0,0.08606171510872683,0.12709227378618568,0.0,0.15732435959848828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715715148270924,0.0,0.09572868344264522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689554814438954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265930752664495,0.17064919498029274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278719764438897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989656542325237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679497353669894,0.0,0.07540596069212294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215186316248442,0.1174201208247952,0.11163827225138542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365343043824055,0.09170200695051757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018841478988093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353290906803615,0.3259577965950605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823011626861763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150575090221214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415644573189486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964743773812504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962763772758479,0.11990936684537648,0.08984214740529406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5224817880848623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655992911412209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635504702618159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284971553989161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724459100379474
mentalhealth,pm_me_le_lenny_face,2019/01/11,"Am I just tired, or are these symptoms of an illness? I had a lot of instances where I think I saw something for example
Today I went for a drive, and the fuel needle looked like it were two needles then I thought I saw a man wearing a hat and looking at me (it was dark) then in the light it turned out he was wearing a hood. I also wanted to buy a certain brand of soda, and after looking for minutes I finally found it, only for it turn out to be another brand. All of these times I was sure of what I was seeing. I also have earworms that are there all the time. I was thinking that this is maybe just because I haven't slept well in 2 weeks",2.5754014598540143,3.455932124087596,4.136941605839418,89.80395255474455,74.47445255474452,6.355912408759124,26.838686131386858,6.2581,0.917902773722628,499,18,110,3,10,167,85,137,0.06,0.884,0.056,-0.1316,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,10,0,14,7,3,0,4,18,29,8,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,11,5,1,0,4,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,13,7,15,4,17,15,3,16,0,0,6,0,2,6,0,2,9,84,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796025167940581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18331108559963336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656694764541633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19150370680355674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19167804576811934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540685766551427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404072786486717,0.0,0.0,0.14862333905836853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562738286672602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295636455261506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930668143379826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345828278216714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476315003945574,0.18170201584024384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22403161666527746,0.0,0.1387853361972027,0.20387464012051015,0.200926664404508,0.1657062727226802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803018454262085,0.1707710106720228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311171887146801,0.0,0.14022781976628831,0.0,0.1571816650534943,0.16205730360461493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Helpm3please1,2019/01/11,"Help, parents forcing me to take medication I am a 15 year old who has extremely controlling parents. They have access to all my online media accounts, and regularly inspect my browser history, so I have created a fake email to make this post. I have a severe form of a medical condition called misophonia(auditory processing disorder which causes a fight or flight response) which limits my life quite a bit(I have to go to an online school). There are no known cures and no real treatments to misophonia, but misophonia is related to stress so living a calm peaceful life seems to make it a little better for me. I have tried all the treatments suggested for misophonia(progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, trigger tamer) My parents, one of which is a former doctor, are extremely frustrated that there is no treatment for misophonia and have been giving me medicines which they think will help it. This started with Prozac, to improve my mood, which I did get a prescription for. However, it did nothing even after months of use, so my parents started giving me ambien, to try to relax me, without a prescription. Eventually they stopped this, and started giving me a blood pressure medication called propananol. Propananal is known to relax you, dull the fight or flight reaction, cause sleepiness, and my parents theorized it would help my condition as it causes a fight or flight reaction. I hated taking it so much, as it made me incredibly sleepy and unable to think, and did not seem to help me, so after a month I began pretending to swallow it and started throwing it away. I had told my parents I did not want to take it because it made me feel awful, but my parents didn’t listen. My parents did not find out and after another month, decided to double the dosage - luckily I wasn’t taking it. After a few weeks, my parents decided to try another medication, Paxil. They got a prescription for this, but I do not know what they told the doctor as they keep me out of doctors appointments. My mother is very jumpy, and she says that when she took Paxil it made her less jumpy. This was their absurd basis for giving me the medication. Of course, I strongly opposed it, but they ignored me. I tried it for one day, and that day was absolutely horrible - I was dizzy to the point of passing out, constantly hungry, dry mouth, and experienced a hallucination. I told my parents this and they blamed it on getting bad sleep and eating too much salty ramen. I stopped taking Paxil immediately. Unfortunately a week after that, my parents discovered that I was not taking Paxil and that I hadn’t taken propananol. They got extremely mad at me. A week passed, and my parents took me to a doctor who prescribed the medicines. My parents are about to start forcing me to take the medicines again, and I am afraid and I don’t know what to do. When I talk to them about this, they ignore me and give me no say in the issue. Additionally, I am completely healthy except for the misophonia. What should I do? 

Please do not make a big deal out of this, like calling 911 or trying to find my parents, if worse comes to worse I have to take the medicines es which make me feel bad. Serious replies only please. ",8.226764267461668,8.15910510221465,8.067980728279391,69.89139187606474,61.86201022146509,11.085370528109033,37.08310264054515,10.618573550423957,4.023488969335605,2553,110,433,55,32,821,248,587,0.159,0.726,0.115,-0.9795,15,0,0,0,3,0,77.0,0,1,12,5,14,24,6,3,33,1,41,17,3,13,2,83,92,38,0,4,17,15,2,1,0,3,12,3,0,0,41,26,2,8,14,4,1,7,15,16,0,2,26,6,76,7,63,63,8,47,0,1,0,0,58,11,0,7,29,314,117,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299551771840568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04166193847354413,0.0,0.07404951490067226,0.02703123064144776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0392179967863982,0.048411338863036606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583823339559745,0.0,0.0,0.13665818291865758,0.0,0.03819777924514605,0.04649304883489328,0.04791929474016087,0.04973471997631245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057195449344821236,0.04571593860560931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082120061749487,0.18154876142721849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04537421005334672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029288295185688974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0448425541886158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105784537437688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04633503074264661,0.21269040656083926,0.025201288087907742,0.0,0.07093068789796794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04377977413818397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888936993362273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628282716066518,0.0,0.0394143137050143,0.0,0.0,0.04873977567554938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264189081700147,0.02166386969813071,0.044443580991185234,0.03915589784023201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258759521007256,0.11839784177409055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233557715241683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618306556864132,0.0,0.06519477471369901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04254853962935997,0.0,0.046530776408832485,0.0,0.06009626100084186,0.033725036091194927,0.0,0.0,0.6893309643941377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735113421382892,0.04191869963477126,0.0,0.0424685712126558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04716449949505444,0.0,0.05047232090982614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052705664196178,0.0,0.044877731426701914,0.0,0.08073684986917758,0.0,0.05009524517419717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04437526927378195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693188562022145,0.0,0.0,0.07414587694622625,0.050795037456161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667248139171282,0.03564142072914121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056826721932632926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711561297899282,0.09853395383910234,0.15053076332159468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03829832635933999,0.0,0.036587821218110175,0.026154794861206268,0.0,0.10670842945776006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042745305896039976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090379110238065,0.03150016905805046,0.0,0.0,0.028555596002038663
mentalhealth,thr0_a_whey,2019/01/11,"Tips for coping with stress Hi, I'm looking for some help. I'm a 16 year old student in the UK sitting GCSEs (interrnational exams) and preparing for SATs (I am a US citizen and plan to move there for uni) at a highly competitive, high level private school. However, I have recently started to get to a point where I feel like I almost cannot continue: my sleep schedule has been thrown off (if lucky I get 6 hours a day), I have feelings of worthlessness, swings in hunger and I have started snacking regularly, leading me to put on weight. I have also started developing what Google tells me are stress-related tics: random spasms of my upper eyelid and the muscles in my left arm. This is obviously far from ideal: these exams are key to my future as a student and in the long run, to getting into the uni I want to go to and for getting the job I want. 
I am going to try and see a school counsellor at some point in the next few weeks (I am currently sitting mock exams) but have no interest in telling my parents this; they are kind and understanding, but I don't want to burden them with this and change our relationship and it is much easier to vent anonymously online.
In the short term, do you  guys have any effective tips for coping with stress (to stop my tics), getting to sleep more easily and controlling/avoiding snacking? 
",8.594831387808043,6.931941501945528,8.74071011673152,70.54144130998705,61.99610894941634,11.990791180285347,37.36997405966278,10.864195022040775,3.9375787289234765,1054,41,196,22,12,348,151,257,0.056,0.807,0.13699999999999998,0.9609,4,1,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,1,2,4,3,10,1,2,14,0,19,7,3,2,1,34,40,16,0,5,3,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,15,4,1,4,0,0,6,3,5,0,0,2,5,26,5,38,38,6,47,0,1,2,0,13,22,0,6,18,126,32,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605087639374335,0.0,0.0,0.0926802112359716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881174222111131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12260024862379625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474189822199613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719875128433938,0.08279453712417445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027485745414051,0.0,0.13173020797327842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475305957834675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768115548567378,0.2448962758704276,0.0,0.0,0.11413202487848895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500669052304464,0.0,0.0,0.12068553406226246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591892732246687,0.0,0.0,0.05661984520168409,0.0,0.0,0.1025623452825126,0.09732158370873364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317674342586085,0.08519526067327701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325434614742635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161102305787942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868632375528594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191141580381121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650525550887975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443112281399782,0.12442654397987055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23458137828458836,0.09235233509272188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23195494729931634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460906346327967,0.0,0.0,0.09689238657580844,0.3982677884223621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20259253785980147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786842668103331,0.0,0.0,0.12064950860236748,0.13940594356562072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507145634065746,0.0,0.09296299694377816,0.14112739787302808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463179237164477
mentalhealth,Din0nuggies,2019/01/11,"How can I convince my best friend to seek help? Short back story, my friend 30(f) started exhibiting signs of schizophrenia about a year ago. Delusions, paranoia, all of the common signs. Her family tried to get her admitted by saying she was suicidal (even though she wasn't) so they couldn't keep her. She's incredibly smart and also stubborn and has convinced herself that she is fine. I've known her since we were kids and although I'm not a licensed therapist or psychologist I can tell she is not ok and needs the help of a medical professional as soon as possible. My heart breaks every time we speak. She only calls me when she's paranoid and tells me everyone is trying to bring her down. She's convinced someone in her city has somehow made a city Facebook page with her picture warning everyone of her because whenever she goes places people seem like they're out to get her.

I've tried to lightly suggest she should go seek therapy especially since she's going through so much but is super resistant to it. Her family has tried (given they are not the best support) but she denies she needs any help and they are out to get her too.

Any suggestions on how I can help convince her? I'm terrified that she will hurt herself if left untreated. ",6.39219887955182,7.163234046218491,6.3148067226890765,78.04882072829133,65.68067226890757,9.708011204481792,33.51372549019608,9.725611199111238,3.178452885154062,1005,42,183,20,15,317,139,238,0.094,0.741,0.165,0.9394,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,3,3,13,16,1,0,7,1,18,2,1,3,1,34,35,20,1,5,7,0,0,1,2,2,1,2,0,1,3,11,0,2,3,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,5,3,41,14,22,27,5,20,0,1,0,0,48,8,0,4,9,121,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837441150514428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776974259985848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627937394717082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400891716609927,0.0,0.07452739095777956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566046249821869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483916920113496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075030895721692,0.0,0.10300770555265876,0.23364566985460794,0.0,0.0,0.2305080747255749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889125790432298,0.0,0.1916244027326872,0.0,0.13896416888154967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487641373789648,0.327788056389157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087980350210396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866859913962262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283376190655066,0.0,0.0,0.05972912251265925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156835516028269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316215364264035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987375617375844,0.18130563474764455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929827791850432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475835911272589,0.0,0.12773367254820714,0.0,0.0,0.1378276158600975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722453248942116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129916456103836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022662947146312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358887464759643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653489845502191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373049649667804,0.1387370206361837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137179017511464,0.0,0.13981276965544293,0.1419510542030656,0.0,0.0,0.12011794310076493,0.0,0.07128966976324676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320208450159002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873019528800708
mentalhealth,Throwthisaway543210,2019/01/11,"I have a confession. I am a straight female but fantasize about having sex with my female clounselor I know this happens, it's just starting up and getting strong. I don't want to feel uncomfortable in session because she's amazing and the only counselor I've ever liked and actually talked to. I don't want to lose her. I am 25/F and she is (probably) 30/F. I think about hooking up with her and I usually never fantasize like this about anyone. Having sex with my fiance doesn't get me off, and obviously having MH issues and being on my meds, I don't have a sex drive. If I knew she was gay, and not as professional as she is, I'd pursue it for sure.

I'm posting because I just want to tell someone, and hear any thoughts others have. Have you ever felt this way towards a same sex therapist? Did it end up affecting your relationship?

If your counselor did break all the rules and actually did end up hooking up, omg, that'd be the hottest story to hear.",2.762683823529411,4.731402229166665,4.486580882352944,83.0120955882353,76.1875,7.225980392156862,27.439950980392155,8.124751697461798,1.8970223039215688,756,31,148,13,17,255,109,192,0.054000000000000006,0.8320000000000001,0.113,0.9317,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,0,2,7,6,0,0,7,0,22,5,0,1,6,37,38,15,0,5,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,8,13,0,0,7,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,7,4,24,5,23,28,2,21,1,1,0,5,15,10,0,2,9,104,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.3051499568493706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632331421126592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932350672635673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19061893289705112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769592626196207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828549266892341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905522265332501,0.0,0.1501204522284948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337277116737126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825972719238244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524354696929141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631887064604643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859258329018615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527693570098318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491557947221886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17366952622276094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205867050732682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189111675470837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974001431155892,0.0,0.1685716692328481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786131303477142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247478874255447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066528554042382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735795917595024,0.0,0.0,0.12566815171016316,0.13665673066389494,0.0,0.0,0.18153431998665254,0.0,0.10018272233438888,0.0,0.12412438036460526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219735949993598,0.0,0.2766577196973704,0.12410329734498532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slinkysoft,2019/01/11,"Time to ask for inpatient? I’m currently in a mental health crisis at my parents house in my home town. I normally live in London as I study there.

I won’t go into too much detail but if I return to London I will end up committing suicide.

In my hometown I’m being treated with the home team (they come to your house and check up on you)

The goal is to get me back to London so I can continue with university.

I think the only way that will effectively aid my transition back to London is if I was taken there by someone straight into an inpatient facility so I can experience the fear of returning and be helped through it without being a danger to myself. 

Is it okay to ask for this kind of help? I understand that I am demonstrating a strange amount of rational thinking for someone who is experiencing very strong suicidal inclinations but that is also partially what has caused alarm to my situation, because I’ve ‘rationally’ decided to take my life if I go back to London.

I’m dissociated currently so apologies if this doesn’t make sense.

Opinions?",4.9423316912972055,6.488185630541874,6.603270935960591,71.82477504105091,69.54187192118226,10.142397372742204,32.25254515599343,10.355215969177356,3.68708367816092,845,38,150,24,15,291,123,203,0.118,0.7809999999999999,0.1,-0.7872,3,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,2,1,4,10,7,1,2,8,1,17,2,0,3,1,24,32,13,2,5,7,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,9,7,0,0,5,1,1,3,3,3,0,0,2,1,23,4,33,24,2,26,0,0,0,0,11,12,0,5,10,109,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264052167659702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633580842546567,0.0,0.0,0.32492302394146066,0.0,0.08586300805799751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469538114115182,0.0,0.12133284905255515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475442515927244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377817856701361,0.0,0.15849938736967906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359015893126106,0.0,0.1601006207128456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972072192893693,0.0,0.0,0.18882231194032967,0.0,0.2825751617711317,0.0,0.0,0.3250521378714811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466772823918181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948901785738908,0.0,0.0,0.12437625265269467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402082888070996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194723496397602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354355561596916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380065590298953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712546106629778,0.0,0.0,0.15640118259476807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832527575177507,0.0,0.0,0.2386894875636866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30814181338507385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590432946992012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180506516626352,0.0,0.0,0.08213282942913326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663349821672733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621891839649184,0.0,0.1118029805120306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577778212456093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,therapystudystw2019,2019/01/11,"Your Relationship with your Therapist/Counselor (Invitation to Academic Survey:) - Chance to win $25 (must be 18+, reside in USA, currently in therapy) I have received moderator approval to invite you participate in a study which has been approved by the Institutional Review Board at the University at Albany, State University of New York, where I am a doctoral student in psychology completing my dissertation.

The  purpose  of  the  study  is  to  learn  more  about  how  people  receiving  counseling  or  psychotherapy  experience  their  relationships  with  their  therapists/counselors. Participation will take about 10-15 minutes. You will have the option to **enter your email address for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card.**  One gift card will be awarded for every 10 participants.

To be eligible to participate, **you must at least  of  18  years  of  age, live in the United States, and be currently seeing a counselor/therapist for outpatient counseling or psychotherapy.**

**Study Link:** [https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=181716](https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=181716)

Your confidentiality will be protected by storing your data securely on a password-protected, encrypted website and computer. Only the researchers will have access to the data. The data will be anonymous as you will not be asked for any identifying information. IP addresses will be not tracked or recorded as a part of this research. Your  individual  identity  will  be  kept  private  when  information  is  presented  or  published  about  this  study.  Dissemination  of  research  results  will  be  based  on  all  participants’  combined  results,  not  your  individual  responses. 

If  you  agree  to  participate  in  the  survey,  there  will  be  no  direct  benefit  to  you.    However,  possible  benefits  of  participation  include  helping  to  provide  information  that  could  benefit  scholars’  and  therapists’  understanding  of  counseling/psychotherapy. There  is  no  anticipated  risk  in  participating  in  the  study,  other  than  potential  discomfort  in  answering  questions  about  your  relationship  with  your  therapist.

Again, You may access the study at the following link:

[https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=181716](https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=181716)

Thank you for your time.",9.359035897435898,13.883449436923089,8.573230769230769,48.43943589743592,68.47692307692307,11.825641025641026,38.794871794871796,10.727762888450028,6.504671794871795,1837,99,206,69,39,576,172,325,0.027000000000000003,0.8170000000000001,0.156,0.9911,3,0,0,0,0,0,102.0,0,18,2,5,10,10,0,2,20,0,35,1,0,3,3,33,42,12,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,14,1,0,2,0,5,6,0,3,9,0,1,4,5,2,0,1,2,1,23,8,52,14,4,31,0,0,1,0,32,16,0,8,9,159,28,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588038470395586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318098483020124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782895572139354,0.0,0.0,0.11257180158328932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431277624751046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879306737104513,0.0,0.0,0.13791865413480206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450494129819006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449980444626944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617235803889388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955408144781344,0.10723187641946992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268217274162785,0.0,0.09774710940619913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894893657338122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794493818028202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4541226180752275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235352965749924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600953178607188,0.0,0.0,0.12980783088127412,0.1612383042210452,0.654817076251259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221441782057383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677915971815078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079516277743513
mentalhealth,SpotlessBird762,2019/01/11,"Anybody having/had the Same Issue? I don't know how to describe it. Today afternoon I was relaxed and sociable. But now, within a few hours, I feel distanced to other people, sad, and had mildly sense-of-life-questioning thoughts (they got really intense after some people laughed about I stupid question I asked). I'm almost crying because of desperation. What to do?",4.979545454545455,7.612418166666671,5.684848484848484,73.89727272727276,71.87878787878788,7.4303030303030315,30.696969696969692,8.344100000000001,2.854351515151515,293,13,43,5,6,95,54,66,0.183,0.6629999999999999,0.154,-0.4541,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,11,10,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,1,6,2,7,6,3,6,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,3,5,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28520733477075844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662694162636045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736243874870601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128627637279726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440141795175169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277975687395659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28049155369703593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972793811547151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653030766842546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20117766868254325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39491837822934456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190649790802673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18246378296972687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261162538839168,0.0,0.0,0.269977237219636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,winter_depression,2019/01/11,"I just had the first worst day of the new year. It sounds like I’m whining, because most of the day are minor inconveniences, but for me too much little things add up to a big panic attack. Idk. First, I woke up too late so I couldn’t eat breakfast. Then I got to school and I thought I was doing okay, but I got super light headed and just really needed a hug and a nap. Got called retarded, went to lunch, and just got really jealous. It sucks when you have one of those beautiful friends and they get praise for it. I just had a panic attack, right there, because my only “good” attribute is that I’m “aesthetic”? It makes me hurt. I know I’m not beautiful, I’m not smart, don’t have any talents, but still. It sucks when other people know that too. And then I wanted to see the counselor, and talk it out, but she wasn’t there. And I couldn’t keep my tears in for the rest of the day. Suicide just keeps seeming like the better option... I don’t want it to come to that. Anyways, I just needed to rant.",1.0871221532091084,3.154712632850241,2.5054934437543146,94.65608695652176,82.09178743961353,5.295514147688062,18.552795031055894,6.42735559955562,-0.1618132505175982,773,18,172,7,21,250,112,207,0.225,0.583,0.192,-0.8225,0,0,0,0,0,1,32.0,0,1,1,5,16,21,5,2,11,1,13,5,1,2,0,39,39,17,1,6,12,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,13,11,3,2,4,1,0,2,7,10,0,3,11,3,20,11,18,26,4,22,1,2,1,1,7,7,2,3,15,114,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692462343306485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29083623941584463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584050482441733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130498366586268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305224756974731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110108956556489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473074890055841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079574316310122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21745385847479293,0.0,0.0,0.09875641461290967,0.0,0.06678270292027486,0.0,0.0,0.10721260815858988,0.4089297433840579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118418073463786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136838110035565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22723148000813345,0.0,0.0,0.14049732598300346,0.0,0.14419090718485192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489658480551767,0.12811311090015973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532343420162326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396526131257983,0.1895595785889709,0.0,0.12345310233235818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661677095521186,0.09721582267909692,0.0,0.2999475700649744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861698566436703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377450461729856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916089731925516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936459337866954,0.10185908501523634,0.1163660619862177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208031775809946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981858090449378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273999494814222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492050780355813,0.0,0.0,0.10147788471507764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078767551558125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849401977928065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823143895212881
mentalhealth,introspection2285,2019/01/11,"Advice on taking medication for the first time. Hi, I’m 18 F. I have been battling with dysthymia & anxiety since I was 11. I’ve been going to therapy since 11, and we’ve tried everything besides medication because I just refused. As years went on the ‘black cloud’ as we refer to as my sadness wouldn’t leave. I was raped on my 15th birthday and that lead to having PTSD. Today, my therapist really encouraged me to get onto medication & I thought about it. I saw a psychiatrist and he asked me why haven’t I come sooner and that just hurt me so bad because of my pride. I didn’t want it to defeat me, but it did and I’m ashamed of it. They prescribed me Paxil and I start tonight. I just feel so defeated and disappointed in myself. I told myself that I would be able to handle this without medication. Has anyone ever taken Paxil? How did it work for you? ",2.222370041039671,4.486609191860467,4.203556771545831,82.94582079343365,79.17441860465118,7.070314637482902,24.65253077975376,8.124751697461798,1.6548101231190149,679,25,132,13,17,231,104,172,0.182,0.7909999999999999,0.027000000000000003,-0.977,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,1,6,8,11,2,1,3,0,14,5,0,2,1,25,29,14,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,9,10,0,1,3,0,0,4,4,9,0,1,12,3,26,2,21,14,0,16,0,5,2,1,9,5,0,0,7,89,35,2,0.14269824069347573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394430692782902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30922696834537144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916376354824832,0.0,0.0,0.09977792779223543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334035922018668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191470704695565,0.17397504609911613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292189899168834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907872833570694,0.0,0.0,0.1282479774996196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215251809701469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213790506364404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455394110965423,0.0,0.08109869866834951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276141801757895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109683289499207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.575013859529403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680660707943806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914161469855241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360829186091488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100254922665622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729131798632116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318787450798133,0.1656836559110659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328646356245807,0.0832084916972192,0.0,0.13526124691008254,0.13635428418137574,0.0,0.09688273847234263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841671195449424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228269875534912,0.12876296693435713,0.0,0.0,0.13755601182991645,0.0,0.10388601875269443,0.0,0.0,0.10136873597610584,0.0,0.0,0.09189298846100066
mentalhealth,Jomppasaurus,2019/01/11,"Sorry, just gotta vent somewhere. Sorry

A couple of months before christmas I noticed that I wasn't feeling like myself. Like, I was panicking over everything and crying and feeling awful.

I literally got a panick attack or something when I raised my hand in class when we were having a discussion. Like, I WANTED to say my opinion, and once the teacher pointed at me, I couldn't get a word out of my mouth and started sweating and shaking and my face went red.
The same thing happened when I got to school one day and noticed that my period had started and I had blood on my light grey pants,so ot was very visible. Like, I was literally crying in the bathroom, even though I could have just gotten my bike and went home to change my pants (which I eventually did, but was late to class and shaking again when I got there).

I've also been feeling like I'm just a waste of space and will never be anything useful. I don't know what I want to do after high school, I have no idea what career I would want, everything I might be interested in is very difficult and I don't think I could even get the education for,and my grades suck even though I really try my best. And that makes my oarents really mad at me, which makes me even more stressed.
Even in the school subjects where I thought I was good or ok at, my grades suck. Even in art (not saying that I ahould be getting the best grades from art or anything or that I'm some master artist blah blah blah, was just dissapointed when I saw my grades) 

I constantly feel like everyone hates me and just pretends to like me because they'd feel bad if they didn't, even the people I've been friends with for over 9 years (almost 10) and who have always been there for me, no matter what.

Also my mom is mad at me and I have no idea what I did wrong, she hasn't spoken to me all day, except when she came to yell at me when I didn't come eat the second she told me to.

And I've been eating very little and have no appetite at all, which I hate because I'm already skinny enough and feel gross because my arms are so unnaturally skinny and my spine ia so visible and one girls told me once that it lookes gross. And I'm super hairy everywhere, eacpecially on my arms so I can't wear a T-shirt, and my mom is like ""No you can't shave your arms, it's a pain in the ass! And I've seen people with more hair than you and your's is barely visible (which is a lie, btw, the hair on my arms is very much visible and dark)"" 

I tried to talk to my parents about the panick attacks I keep having almost every day, but they just started making jokes and laughing, and then got mad at me when I got upset. So now I don't want to even talk to yhem about it.
And my best friend is telling me to go to our school nurse to talk about this stuff, but I CAN'T talk to a stranger, it just feels so weird and I'm scared she'll just be like ""oh it's ok, you're a teenager and this is normal, just eat healthily and get some sleep and you'll be fine"". I mean, sure, if that's really all I need then that's great! But at the same time, I try my best to be healthy, but after a sy or two I just lose all motivation because I don't have an appetite and just can't sleep.

I want to fucking kill myself but I'm a coward and just can't bring myself to do it so I'm just waiting for SOMETHING to happen. ",4.803922413793104,4.38770568534483,5.488241379310349,86.70589655172417,69.01436781609196,8.396781609195402,27.026436781609192,7.6454224807358475,1.2340788505747122,2591,67,584,25,40,843,271,696,0.209,0.6829999999999999,0.108,-0.9964,2,0,2,0,0,1,69.0,2,5,3,8,47,49,11,5,25,3,62,23,18,5,6,116,124,68,1,13,28,3,10,12,2,6,1,3,1,1,27,41,5,2,14,6,0,8,21,24,0,4,32,19,94,25,57,76,16,60,0,1,5,2,31,25,4,13,36,383,121,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362325168052448,0.0,0.06260817329724842,0.0907414686929216,0.04720783119385251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337567937447762,0.0,0.0,0.12908786687521834,0.0,0.0,0.04737112061669317,0.1383398326215962,0.0,0.048277067223180134,0.0,0.23815834966015045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488940432000014,0.0,0.0,0.060017810025894375,0.04887193684762965,0.0,0.06131007594169732,0.0,0.09059611327030546,0.06277588754470814,0.12464084969308648,0.10976760077120618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416134435511982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862213095068805,0.0,0.2997819749684255,0.0,0.04780144776892253,0.054212455388982714,0.10197901445732536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20080745056267266,0.12159388392959755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766620644133273,0.05245033357360682,0.11856619630971668,0.0,0.0322436483023462,0.04758639059946191,0.2268796882968611,0.06255022807116517,0.0,0.0,0.1003406494171893,0.0,0.0,0.11202757852247157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05994334565479621,0.056909549098306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809318412350962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050428425116596266,0.06276856070835349,0.0,0.031179917862447164,0.0,0.06399923430684096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494594616275175,0.056863093258483835,0.0,0.0,0.047642875018739816,0.06347163846564216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136125966043097,0.0,0.0,0.061800741425327876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018657122509509,0.0,0.1328940345647433,0.04528511148474503,0.0,0.041706546500451636,0.042068075310979385,0.04375731293500432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558797877190109,0.0,0.12918570740378488,0.0,0.12084124838756485,0.07688982790236508,0.0,0.06036974119074616,0.0,0.06299719143127737,0.0,0.0,0.07866542127832045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536326478075457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903714144455877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090235451546392,0.05680135124568155,0.22967425850332565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355138442088455,0.0,0.0,0.08735431710280353,0.0,0.1270197461288399,0.12047137851950658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498942901362358,0.0,0.06494767967807834,0.0,0.0,0.05347180130021683,0.0,0.0,0.18240487247757828,0.04958864515537911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03769202637312205,0.036353317135607584,0.11148314686625732,0.045041029615805986,0.03308247094106463,0.0,0.0,0.1084249107779654,0.0,0.11555745026114278,0.0,0.05542157665900968,0.0,0.0,0.04900058129534901,0.0,0.18724833990877293,0.16731803628112907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518730596641007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04030271663215414,0.06203050894292904,0.0,0.03653529896336577
mentalhealth,eddyzeeeee,2019/01/11,"I’m trapped in my conscious Tell me what makes you happy!
Tell me your dreams",-0.5120833333333329,1.4360036250000014,-0.23499999999999946,106.24666666666668,106.5,2.1333333333333333,17.833333333333332,3.1291,-1.2232666666666665,62,2,14,0,3,18,14,16,0.154,0.5429999999999999,0.303,0.5093,0,1,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.494479309158277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100638919147678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8120040614091903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SavingsWerewolf,2019/01/11,"Looking for Advice - Partner with Primarily Obsessional OCD Throwaway account.

I (28F) have been dating my partner (29M) for over a year, and we have a great, healthy relationship. He admitted to me early on that he had a history of mental illness, and I chose not to pry because it didn't seem like he was quite ready to talk about it. I too have struggled with mental illness, and it has never been a deterrent for me in relationships.

A few weeks ago, he confessed to me that he has Primarily Obsessional OCD. I was familiar with OCD (it runs in my family) but I had never heard of PO OCD before, and quickly did research to try to understand what he'd been going through. As far as I understand, it wouldn't be helpful to either of us for him to share his intrusive thoughts with me, but I do wonder if it would be helpful for me to be able to identify when he's having them, or if he's having an episode (I don't think it has ever happened in my presence, but I could just be totally ignorant - I am very new to this).

I am so happy that he was open about it with me, and I feel like I now understand some of his behaviours a bit better. This is also one of the best relationships I have ever been in, and I want to put in the work to ensure that I'm being as supportive as I can be without being triggering or giving him reassurance. I would appreciate any input from people who suffer from this, or who have a partner or close friend/family member who does. Thank you so much!",6.850101010101013,5.650166063973066,8.024255892255889,72.79860606060606,65.12794612794613,11.287003367003367,34.95151515151515,10.504223727775694,3.519196363636365,1159,45,228,25,15,400,154,297,0.085,0.75,0.165,0.9824,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,2,1,1,4,12,13,0,1,10,0,39,2,0,1,5,50,57,23,0,7,13,0,1,2,3,3,2,1,0,3,19,14,0,1,10,0,1,3,7,3,0,1,13,3,35,10,45,32,7,26,1,1,1,0,35,10,0,9,15,182,54,2,0.11871548157814997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600739463681713,0.10523411153675052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949367277273244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073059840046752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236785569277768,0.0,0.10101813101463086,0.0,0.12458457375309348,0.10499419614459247,0.1296065588431809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478465207349852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038887179385519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147698993540465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22382878124917274,0.0,0.06002611448702259,0.08481036375990518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171928658079397,0.0,0.0,0.11388270740165354,0.06746874398020919,0.0,0.0,0.13088423754237688,0.0,0.0,0.10497970829565934,0.12637483764535068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591449697737636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599677549697344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996911052675936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23927456650303144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872695385383207,0.0,0.1831213959407244,0.11465615187116635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044468269816625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230236725315149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934184842207138,0.0,0.12626852763583166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823679975586028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807411578707854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410719723997744,0.0,0.0,0.13471692165277954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541900722999873,0.0,0.1092972655091942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606808707422816,0.0,0.09424683172507847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060001930269046,0.0,0.0,0.3707610091475328,0.14280010728680054,0.0,0.0,0.09795270519298617,0.07002146684686067,0.0,0.09522639851453114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443748786949726,0.12874187570810502,0.08642628448345481,0.0,0.0,0.16866414399910604,0.0,0.0,0.07644887789637511
mentalhealth,C00kiemonstaar,2019/01/11,"I’m a really slow learner, but even I’m starting to improve my life Like many people here I struggle with depression and a laundry list of addictions. 

However, I’ve recently learned that I engage in these unhealthy behaviors whenever I’m active in addiction of some sort. 

When I’m sober, I do not engage in those behaviors because I am not trying to run away from my adult responsibilities and I’m not drained from the addiction. 

So how do I admit I’m in addiction, I’m powerless over it, and my life is unmanageable? 

Well after pulling another late night at a massage parlor at 1230am for the third day in a row, I finally admitted I had a problem. I was powerless over my lust and my life was totally unmanageable. 

I mean what “normal” person goes out to a massage parlor after midnight? Exactly. No one. I just couldn’t accept that I had a problem. 

But now that I have, I am out of the depression. I’m out of the addiction. But just for today. I have to admit this powerlessness each day or else I will go back to the addiction and thus the depression. 

And I don’t want to go back there today. I hope this helps those who are still suffering, and just know you’re not alone and you can do this! ",3.3151265822784817,5.196973624472577,5.212934599156121,78.79459177215192,74.35864978902953,9.296962025316457,29.149578059071732,9.766711354998122,3.0433664135021097,947,41,182,27,20,325,123,237,0.174,0.6609999999999999,0.165,-0.8495,4,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,14,13,0,1,13,0,17,10,0,2,2,43,35,15,0,6,11,0,0,1,0,1,9,0,0,2,12,13,0,0,7,0,0,4,7,7,1,2,4,0,23,6,30,29,3,34,0,4,0,1,8,13,0,4,18,131,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7031668515259134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134100716430527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272659321889344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100289790823462,0.1653268181832643,0.0,0.06553301955802715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386614819821453,0.0,0.27777732839978986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980522042199596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100492192471745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776462065095075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221932162141384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720572021715059,0.0,0.0,0.10677504282359354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05908100735343665,0.0,0.12126841543898866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277982998913786,0.05252068673681793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899148234918564,0.0,0.11710261953560724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088457333246728,0.10533041802976732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284702460963399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452925876054364,0.0938677431111585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057322967798293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886937273646478,0.0,0.10614654866766678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609139566038821,0.0,0.08585228169875662,0.0,0.0,0.11238580038279426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038011344259472,0.0,0.0,0.07298769033262541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340823715763386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665838571624852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cyclopsgd,2019/01/11,"why don't i get upset at serious stuff. if i hear a sad song, watch a sad movie or something then my eyes might get watery but i won't cry.

but a family dog has dies recently and i didn't even feel sad or cry.

and i just found out my nan has bowel cancer and im not even worried, i haven't even felt sad, i've only thought wow i feel bad for my dad.


i don't understand why im like this though, i want to be sad about this, i used to get sad about this type of stuff.

im scared that one day its all gunna just catch up with me",-1.1792496847414888,0.4692395491803296,1.417540983606557,101.61453341740228,87.93442622950819,5.06532156368222,14.302648171500632,6.297961479604792,-0.9819578814627992,403,6,110,4,13,138,75,122,0.261,0.593,0.146,-0.9588,1,0,1,1,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,2,3,0,9,3,2,1,1,23,21,10,1,2,8,1,3,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,7,5,0,0,6,1,0,1,6,10,0,1,4,7,14,2,10,14,1,7,0,6,2,0,2,3,0,4,4,61,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117262473599727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188241846513131,0.09359308740054753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506159820592737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875594477386957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681015697932766,0.0,0.1467582872943692,0.0,0.13934196702931834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912116785399255,0.0,0.0,0.2274641758223852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356549313868515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4702770390539882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090034166415056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539538164658668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833989718986601,0.1103734750448508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329261543589494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529461683380812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172368045730033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33226492067963725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258376563349354,0.11521238485195848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510793848172742,0.0,0.12534069221606547,0.0,0.0,0.08559799877190459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619039916087088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738064475715612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,raspberr_,2019/01/11,"I just don't know what to do I think I made a decision today, but I'm not sure and after making this decision, I feel more anxious than ever.

I have borderline personality disorder and finally found something that I love and makes me happy - this certain yoga class. Shortly after I started and committed to this yoga class, a DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) group opened up. It is at the same time as the yoga class. No there are not other times for THIS yoga class, no there is not another group.

I've been trying to make this decision. It has been eating me alive. I haven't been able to even go to individual therapy either, so this has just been bouncing around in my head and I just don't know what the fuck. Talked on the phone with therapist today, of course he convinced me to do the group. Now I'm worried it's the wrong decision, and I'm feeling progressively worse. And then because I got an appointment with new therapist, I cancelled appointment with old therapist, and now I'm not sure (again) about new therapist and want to cancel, but then I won't have either appointments, and just......... uggghhhhh

I don't know how people make decisions. I've been in therapy for 6 years. My life continues to be the same and I don't know why. I wonder if it's because I'm not living my life. I wonder if I use therapy as an excuse to postpone living my life and looking within. But I just don't fucking know. And of course I hope this new therapist / group will help, but hope is just the other side of fear....

TL;DR: torn between decisions, think I made one and am backtracking, feeling terrible...",3.929064516129032,5.730841519354839,5.385354838709676,78.53803225806456,72.51612903225806,9.089032258064515,28.206451612903226,9.592334608150935,2.7669251612903234,1261,49,235,32,25,424,144,310,0.13,0.7440000000000001,0.126,-0.1313,0,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,0,1,17,13,2,1,12,0,25,8,1,8,5,75,60,26,0,5,19,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,16,19,1,0,19,4,0,1,14,5,0,1,9,4,27,8,31,48,5,31,0,0,1,3,11,10,2,6,20,161,43,4,0.08390042970979583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797691596394958,0.0,0.09478360426421964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468917036577567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228984643091503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615716123977124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585108535836039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541544253952206,0.07589274206276149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441130913144424,0.12726773456135804,0.0,0.0,0.0919088197264762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199249063150844,0.0,0.15512919062638675,0.0,0.0,0.04768254769023837,0.0,0.06710283808904037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931356754822874,0.0,0.0,0.0861060461568078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562366894893209,0.0,0.0,0.16666411538398154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305474099135472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778406420354273,0.0,0.0,0.14817123312175673,0.0,0.07045523009304827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572341350456882,0.15877723043786196,0.22401675331521007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24309467349117014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803938740903361,0.0,0.056853102531545185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058165993911477885,0.07325861903215833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459064979473103,0.0,0.0,0.059385155981735285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815032416136435,0.0,0.0,0.06743598730894154,0.0,0.0,0.38378981347241947,0.4870743275906394,0.0,0.10752001521433516,0.0,0.0,0.0978460305463297,0.0,0.15905559429027466,0.0,0.0,0.05696288440410292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724630331082872,0.0,0.0,0.04948664722801509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570708793605138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819728741351152,0.0,0.08520495899407246,0.08550170568852118,0.0,0.09173194897755256,0.0,0.05402912594946775
mentalhealth,Bloody_Banana,2019/01/11,"Help Hello. I’m not doing too well right now. I moved back to my old town to start my next step in my education. My ex stayed since she doesn’t graduate until May but she was planning to move in with me after graduation. Only one week after moving, I fucked up. Really bad. I didn’t even tell her myself about my mistake and I had to drive down there yesterday to talk. I almost went into a panic attack while we were together for the last time. She is broken and it’s entirely my fault. I hurt her so bad and I lost the person that loved me the most and cared the most for me. I did not value her as I should have and I will always regret losing her. I’m so sorry to her. Now I wake up in a panic thinking about my burdens and pains and I don’t know how I am going to start school on Monday again. Yesterday, while we were talking I left her to take a walk and calm down but ended up trying to hurt myself by submerging my legs into a nasty cold creek. I don’t feel ok and I don’t know if I will again ",0.05652777777777729,2.117294189814814,2.5061111111111143,93.12500000000004,86.26851851851852,5.266666666666668,15.018518518518519,6.6274283507984215,-0.4477925925925925,779,13,176,9,24,267,126,216,0.304,0.629,0.066,-0.9965,0,0,0,0,0,2,16.0,2,0,0,3,14,20,2,2,8,1,18,5,2,1,0,31,33,19,0,4,5,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,14,0,0,4,0,0,8,7,15,1,1,8,2,41,5,30,21,2,44,0,5,0,2,19,14,1,5,21,130,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272371295299798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028726152149744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507879834053189,0.0,0.10191818748543284,0.22133747879949103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513748526875793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739468079655875,0.0,0.0,0.08754409024058057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701825056079923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253483181568901,0.0,0.0,0.07532783402240092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884147800450062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837822783942085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568547923304384,0.10804108532913392,0.0,0.0,0.14400949036001873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828288048042718,0.14468747998434522,0.0,0.11962617352448095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226200243797668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096209323553566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908267664857205,0.0,0.08981527369250704,0.10080571724014303,0.14103620662742833,0.31102375211745403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573234574239125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491110782496987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319188837365245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414164753882415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964180190633802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837220441435794,0.1876307114396212,0.1412743141171854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965662490306301,0.21306776190503887,0.1158493355538904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849288707554688,0.0,0.0,0.0772874972686663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998870466621296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631883622967317,0.0,0.11917301240924895,0.12286965561097328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,4n0therThr0way,2019/01/11,"How do I even begin to build confidence? I'm trying to date. It's not going well. Everyone's telling me I need to be more confident.

How? Confidence is built on success. All I have is failure. So, allegedly, I need to be confident so I can have success, so I can be more confident, but in order to have that confidence, I need success, but in order to get that success I need confidence so I can be successful and allow that success to make me more confident so I can be successful and at some point it's feels like playing double-dutch with razor wire and I'm just looking at the situation going ""How the fuck am I supposed to jump into this?"" 

Where to start? What to do?",1.7080952380952397,3.9969727037037046,3.9914550264550286,83.62083333333334,81.22222222222223,7.708994708994709,26.67989417989418,8.634040054169528,2.3154338624338617,525,23,103,13,14,181,66,135,0.049,0.5710000000000001,0.38,0.9956,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,7,12,11,1,0,2,0,17,1,0,5,1,21,32,13,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,2,13,10,17,27,5,16,0,0,1,1,1,8,1,1,4,79,20,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990785824842098,0.0,0.0,0.2168742287752672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147600298034558,0.16214342633876205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20982494818143188,0.11857954135717134,0.0,0.25797821951792266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108833507457442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19059294957567002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151500512141979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6731649635616858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21455473741189024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25511751647974673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064658400266782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19837690613564812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409394221802594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040682700818313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Atlas_MK,2019/01/11,"How to help a friend who might have depression I [19M] have a great friend [18M] who I've known since my junior year. However, since last year, he's been struggling with financial and family related issues, as well as low self esteem, and I'm concerned for his mental health. This has made him disillusioned about his future and is killing his motivation to study, talk to his friends, and plan his future altogether.

The thing is, he doesn't like to talk about it, even though I make clear that he can come talk to me about his problems if he wants to. He said he's grateful but denied my offer. I fear that this may be bad for him, as he's already told me that his family isn't always there for him, as he has a complicated relationship with his parents and his mother is always away because of her job. I fear that this may eventually lead to a state of depression, if it hasn't already.

How can I help him? ",7.2105616605616625,5.867810263736267,7.403260073260075,78.00285103785107,64.49450549450549,10.946031746031746,31.76068376068376,9.994966539143718,2.6897819291819287,716,21,150,13,9,233,100,182,0.182,0.711,0.107,-0.9575,3,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,9,15,1,3,5,0,17,1,0,6,1,24,24,15,1,4,3,2,0,1,3,3,1,1,0,1,12,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,9,1,0,4,1,23,6,22,16,0,10,0,3,0,0,39,2,0,5,6,93,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28581465386661103,0.0,0.21551004001353524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167024227742675,0.0,0.1081277389938534,0.07894247127484101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155345203555103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22307765780664354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855340414224472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24416361332105796,0.2914487534855321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001559356819181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277506309406546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765326952137547,0.0,0.0,0.1736032812445843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351651651422392,0.12850953822103675,0.0,0.14327342188525302,0.0,0.0,0.10556041695644454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632675379834274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253676577181274,0.08644277379775378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050632364426068,0.1373798588600149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379528674326053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391475349665446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903536947781892,0.0,0.0,0.12318489367985995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350975527937382,0.0,0.0,0.21424876082706254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538232906486022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31226345586248083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603456149581121,0.0,0.12723385524386585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374354142785828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638291313545433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643675034874533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678850822798996
mentalhealth,Purple_Pineapplez,2019/01/11,"My (23F) coworkers (40rs+ F) at my new job are ALWAYS talking bad about me and it’s affecting my mental health. For a little background: I am 23 years old and I just got promoted from my job as a teller to being a full time position in a back office job. The department I work in is about 16 people - most have been there for more than 15 years. I suffer with chronic social anxiety so it’s hard for me to connect with people for a while during transitions like this. 

I love my new position. It’s challenging, the pay and benefits are good, and I’m good at it. However, my new co-workers are ALWAYS talking bad about me. When I say talking bad, I mean, they make fun of my hair or my outfits or the few words I do say. 

There is another new person there and we have sort of been confiding in each other because we understand the struggles of being new. So one day I was upset because they were talking about me & she asked what’s wrong. All I said is “I’m just tired of people talking shit all the time”. The next day, I heard one of the women I work with say exactly what I said & continue talking shit about “if you think that’s bad - you haven’t seen anything yet”. And continued talking about how I’m a hillbilly (probably the plaid shirt I was wearing).

The thing is, every time she says something bad about me everyone laughs. So that let’s me know NOBODY likes me. I don’t understand because I’m quiet, polite, and I have been doing well at my job. I just don’t feel welcomed and I have thought about discussing switching departments but I don’t want to seem like a baby who can’t handle a couple of grown ass women talking shit. 

The problem is that I already have depression and this is worsening it - so I need advise about how to not let things like this affect me to the point where it’s damaging to my mental health. ",3.2487356321839087,4.739995634146343,4.530137370339222,85.2468292682927,73.68834688346885,7.799682272684794,26.5452761424166,8.433251757073789,1.7949961872722169,1435,51,289,25,29,474,177,369,0.15,0.767,0.083,-0.9803,5,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,2,2,2,4,26,28,3,2,19,0,32,12,7,5,3,45,54,22,0,4,8,0,3,4,0,0,4,8,0,3,18,15,0,0,8,0,1,3,6,15,1,2,12,12,47,13,37,38,7,33,0,3,1,2,33,10,4,6,24,194,65,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734524966403772,0.0,0.11663977073570815,0.15188338429846476,0.0,0.0,0.07349470826243862,0.053618097862496834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767749523276314,0.0,0.06552400383967058,0.0,0.0,0.05389432042331845,0.2926080540289781,0.12817730093079718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755244146758071,0.0,0.09040355850838504,0.0,0.06036778347122825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905323086869654,0.06697329879045771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03543923963963943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757510458103584,0.056056790067027885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278621682419712,0.0,0.0,0.1490032278494819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27821113252100993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03851922847397871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334204960496205,0.0,0.13696830319248612,0.07024785923502078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325830046639483,0.0,0.04678513036745496,0.0,0.0,0.07634775977683253,0.0,0.0,0.1412669931152224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05197030381904216,0.0,0.3384632569545737,0.07454073122585204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354689605034725,0.0,0.0949886032850393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145773219252329,0.061199244989263636,0.0,0.0,0.06625701272457249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556808496504402,0.06706596331991685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333418875150229,0.22295119505457933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380663684384336,0.0,0.0,0.2158368779094932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144718175695296,0.0,0.05395814244148215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732725204950996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.450680786827406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312839000529484,0.044910372590172415,0.0,0.055643049418165,0.12260884672156888,0.08055730254528458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459307987809724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04134046597404627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301866894477663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530774646908883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663161131054799,0.0,0.090270380720275
mentalhealth,personaluna,2019/01/11,"End of a 10 year relationship. My 10 year relationship recently ended yesterday, and this might seem pathetic but, because of my issues with anxiety, depression and low self-esteem, I’m afraid I won’t find anyone else to love me or be with me... He was all I knew and he was my everything, ever since I was 14 to now at 24... I don’t know how to cope or move on yet, and I’m prone to getting overly attached to people and things, I guess as a form of comfort, so I’m afraid I’ll never move on. I just need advice I guess and I didn’t know where to turn... ",2.129453860640304,3.169797745762711,4.423333333333336,86.70179849340867,75.77966101694916,7.956308851224105,23.280602636534837,8.515128840125781,1.2599743879472691,426,12,97,8,9,149,74,118,0.105,0.816,0.079,-0.2617,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,2,2,0,8,1,0,1,3,25,21,12,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,5,0,13,2,16,13,2,18,0,2,0,1,5,6,0,6,10,60,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15964230236313576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497684279085597,0.0,0.0,0.11423140784419834,0.16739085318710525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958823000936216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070948588784565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364738418547617,0.0,0.2893928984890758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777661940654216,0.0,0.0,0.1468255289231679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493163122368004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535356307481856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599387580282938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051479815692974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956666697736995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744690669332905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330869887734496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472707990541531,0.0,0.12113604825822134,0.12600024917140362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325949901179458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130718490783655,0.35079434761517275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487250077818204,0.17042950320726255,0.0,0.0,0.13514053036281326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853510867641276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776985664509608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104085678100772
mentalhealth,goodafterjune,2019/01/11,"My depression mysteriously disappeared. Not an inspirational story. I am 28 years old and have been depressed for over three years. Every single morning I wake up with the same feeling of weight on my shoulders and yes, the classic cloud over my head. 

I got laid off from work on 12/19/18. This obviously triggered my depression even more. The last two weeks have been some of the absolute worse of my life. I had no motivation to get a new job because my previous one was my dream position and I was planning on staying with the company for over 20 years, but didn’t even last 4 months since they outsourced my position (they were a very new start up apartment management company). 

Last night I did what I basically always do, lay down on my extremely uncomfortable couch, eat food that is not good for me, and watch Netflix until I doze off. I woke up a couple hours later, feeling just as awful as always and made my way to my bed for the remaining hours of the night.

I am unsure if this is relevant but I had a strange dream last night (after I had made my way to my bed). It was my 10 year high school reunion but there were only people there that I haven’t spoke to since high school in attendance and we were in a shopping mall cafeteria. I saw my very first ex girlfriend who I dated my freshmen year (and to this day my longest relationship, mostly by choice) and I was going to speak with her. 

Just as I was going to walk over to her, my late best friend, who died senior year three days after graduation from a drinking and driving accident suddenly appeared next to me and walked over to her first and I just remember thinking, “oh, that’s okay”.  Which is strange. I have had dreams on betrayal before and the dream usually intensifies my emotional response.

Boom, I wake up at 7:00 AM with no alarm. 

I have this overwhelming sense joy in my chest.  I can’t explain it. I have noticed that I basically hate all cliche things with a passion. Have you ever seen a movie and someone is dancing by themselves? I think that is the most annoying fucking thing in the world. As I stated earlier, I am currently unemployed but I was awake at 7:00 AM and I was dancing along with music in my head as I was getting ready, completely conscious of this new feeling of happiness. 

I keep thinking “why the fuck am I so happy right now”? Is this a temporary relief from depression or could this be permanent? I don’t ever want to lose this feeling because I know how awful it is to live with depression.",5.018323529411763,6.3088169500000015,5.62463235294118,79.88183823529413,69.08333333333334,9.147058823529411,31.200980392156854,9.478462496947786,2.8464289215686263,1976,82,374,42,34,639,241,480,0.158,0.7240000000000001,0.118,-0.9747,4,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,1,1,2,7,12,22,4,2,21,4,44,15,6,5,4,63,71,28,1,3,11,1,5,0,2,0,1,3,3,0,22,23,5,1,13,10,1,10,8,12,0,6,26,11,64,10,67,43,8,83,0,7,3,3,16,29,2,6,40,268,86,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128007043219184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617717289089196,0.0,0.06712675233155034,0.0,0.08278670118579437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271118054761864,0.0,0.0,0.06298459297023012,0.08728660827979139,0.0,0.1017507617979931,0.0,0.3397248989753013,0.0,0.08187191671483582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727891154428587,0.0,0.080720765232142,0.0,0.08873689440685703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420781307064528,0.14271503241455766,0.06646542820507799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595498978302049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342019352791833,0.0953900836464558,0.0,0.060947651401744185,0.14585892449623333,0.08243006620289116,0.0,0.08966623361155501,0.06616640239050706,0.0630928824858285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795267032471026,0.0,0.07788426213855139,0.1619209799824576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666962120583,0.0,0.0,0.15537497378566856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828285507165503,0.07011810364583505,0.0,0.0,0.04335405492622014,0.25721268432827016,0.08898760835789604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571999332210621,0.0,0.0,0.06965838156298608,0.0,0.0,0.08825401376733022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928896342876874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296659341153085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285677343059245,0.08389687654282346,0.22208940890086165,0.0,0.0,0.08981300526791572,0.08277829793952793,0.0,0.05345565432296363,0.059996873059877526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469008946624083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469476919250503,0.08936322764518137,0.06736879161311561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159675058513938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051174975244814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684042590595235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583639640973943,0.08408270208046001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481760656778193,0.15164219304236484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706082130082448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688253031468221,0.13017954134872342,0.046529406312618427,0.12523314556088438,0.06327813437356737,0.09606272108247756,0.0,0.0,0.07118295646684003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057430440804895976,0.0,0.08039226391863792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304802603712693
mentalhealth,JimCookie222,2019/01/11,"I lost myself   I really wanted to get this off my chest for some time now, I really don't know if this is the best place but I've realised that I have so many issues with my mental health that are affecting my personality and my performance with school and other things I have to do.

  I'm a procrastinator for as long as I remember. I never succeeded to get things done in time because I was couch potato and that's not the ending, I also got a thing called RMD(rhytmic movement disorder) and I'm addicted to rocking my body to help myself sleep, without it I wouldn't be able to sleep. But I also do it while I got home from school, when I'm bored etc. 75% of my day is spent doing this.

  I was abused by my father when I was little and that went on for 3 or 4 years. After some time I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I was expelled from 2 teachers during primary school. And since I started school in total I switched over 3 schools in total and 7 classes. So I wasn't a favorite between students, neither I am now. 

  During 8 grade I have fallen into a depression from which I haven't recovered from yet. But sometimes is a hard thing to cope with, I have some dark hours. I'm a really shy person, I'm not feeling very smart, I get really anxious sometimes, but in public I manage to hide it because I use some walls to protect me from people getting involved in my shit. I feel like I shouldn't live, but at the same time I feel like I'm the chosen one, and I'll change the world someway. There are many moments when I feel I'm trapped in this body of mine, and I should have been someone else. To boost my confidence I tend to copy and make myself believe I'm another person.

  I had and I still have a lot of friends, but sometimes I feel like their friendship it's not real. I'm a very loyal person, and I need all the attention I could get from a friend else I feel they are not my friend. Loneliness is my all time fear. But still I tend to spend my time alone, I created a comfortable yet a painful private hell. And it's killing me. But I'm helpless. I'm in love with music and I get very creative but because of my procrastination I'm getting nowhere.

  I'm lonely and disperate, I wish I could find a girl, but I tend to get bored or feel very bad because I feel like I could be replaced in a second. And because of my ego, I always say the last word during break up. I always try to do in a way I am in the brighter side of the story. It matters a lot for me what others think about me.

  Since I discovered drugs and alcohol my life changed, I was who I wanted, all the anxiety went away, I felt free from my fears without inhibitions and I loved being able to do whatever I wanted. And soon got addicted. From then my mental health is falling apart more and more every day and I can't help it. ",3.7918333997608613,4.425810970639038,5.077374784110535,85.1029414109207,71.41796200345424,8.011000398565166,27.62681015012621,8.139509932561175,1.6413529161684606,2188,74,465,30,39,730,251,579,0.158,0.691,0.151,-0.5284,0,4,2,0,1,0,54.0,0,0,2,4,16,28,3,2,25,0,43,17,6,3,6,91,95,46,1,12,19,1,10,4,3,3,9,1,2,5,24,28,1,1,14,1,3,5,14,13,0,2,18,11,83,16,63,68,17,59,1,4,0,2,20,23,2,9,33,314,107,13,0.1203631733183382,0.07130533922523903,0.0,0.1312136251886439,0.07232657210960339,0.0,0.0,0.06431581374944159,0.0,0.0623299739619973,0.0,0.09625438621665827,0.10015180229363747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310564094134427,0.04603874907001794,0.06798806291726928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654258172297912,0.0,0.05024911107385209,0.18343068321068653,0.0,0.0,0.0678040395206573,0.06315686228995948,0.0,0.0,0.1336963516215764,0.0,0.0,0.06145212868377844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732827778356434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441502997812125,0.0,0.0,0.07762428939343967,0.0,0.05183431240459957,0.06108304364660955,0.0,0.0,0.06897331219956004,0.0,0.0,0.061586657752927335,0.0,0.0,0.06979153413540884,0.0,0.10054798664240848,0.0,0.05330302293873655,0.0,0.06711837740895825,0.0,0.0,0.050705582370899005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544203293719798,0.2434369477538366,0.17197495013664005,0.05778376092587186,0.0,0.05500487992511096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948843369798095,0.0,0.2515391610082203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439813763171744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391088077831232,0.0,0.0,0.1279404248016634,0.0,0.0,0.08067689792847872,0.0,0.060367038325791676,0.0,0.059266740201815014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281394080508823,0.0,0.0,0.06658200899449311,0.0,0.03307422614341909,0.0490560254565949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04250803443833291,0.11760673340923625,0.060317760102586,0.05314144359782595,0.05325881038927553,0.0,0.0,0.06569531099895977,0.10232846572744134,0.1086324632118358,0.0,0.04017167641267445,0.12202936599772615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129776898439222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04462388394965823,0.04641574970868455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0407806006319576,0.0,0.06403745132270566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04172233462103001,0.21019296063510573,0.06287694906105386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684998210442007,0.15421546180584958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817400598565551,0.0,0.0,0.04785881322338847,0.0,0.304534893203247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061775533872998424,0.09956566076764288,0.0,0.1204500981626348,0.0,0.050991663079683634,0.0,0.17856338413531356,0.0,0.0425968367902865,0.0,0.09612218569147424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992788814492565,0.03856193070523215,0.0,0.0,0.2105542028907678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04085934691847593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05197756819216223,0.0,0.19862444687776012,0.10648997718816697,0.04776934226776759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157786753313192,0.0,0.0,0.06920585460617698,0.11602580390902185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038754968677680315
mentalhealth,shibainugirl,2019/01/11,"My body dysmorphic disorder  

Hi guys. Just thought I’d share my BDD experience (link below). This was a hard thing to talk about but I think its important we do. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_E1liS9a0q0",6.791875000000001,10.812891937500005,3.499749999999999,81.37025000000001,82.75,8.81,25.15,8.841846274778883,2.9935175000000007,170,6,26,5,5,45,30,32,0.096,0.785,0.119,0.1901,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,4,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,15,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40790730304478995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208748768406687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35921925637904056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.363613259991834,0.0,0.0,0.3289639801883967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951637973432668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439698344181199,0.2353047478616882,0.0,0.29153785547666305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,findhumor,2019/01/11,Anyone else curious to see how this generation fucks up the next generation? The generation that raises the next molds the understanding of the next generation.  Each generation grows up determined not to be like the one that raised them.  Each generation has grown more entitled and offended by mundane things and with more depression and suicide.  Where does the buck stop?,8.016129032258064,10.833034806451614,7.707290322580651,61.89093548387101,63.83870967741936,12.701935483870967,34.980645161290326,11.979248473330829,5.446021935483872,306,14,46,12,5,97,42,62,0.238,0.672,0.09,-0.9135,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,7,0,2,1,0,1,0,10,5,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,7,4,4,9,0,1,1,1,1,3,1,0,5,32,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821368671156752,0.23184100156279144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488656349196876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980109545773732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18902007833942586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20918355289416155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054440125846222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7219241512672965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533268359434317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030839807633653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18917237979675056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24750334582747224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032415344785602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23555570742146265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hotserialkiller,2019/01/11,"Effexor withdraw! Help! I can't get a hold of my doctor. I've left voice messages and nobody is calling me back. I suspect she's having a baby and wasn't prepared for it. I'm going to have to call the clinic and find help elsewhere today but that does me no good now. With that said, I started weening myself off of Effexor last week Wednesday. I went from 225mg to 150mg till last Saturday, then 75mg till last Wednesday when I cut it off. I was warned about withdrawal and told to take a 75mg with me to work if things got ugly. Wednesday and Thursday passed with just a few zaps. Easy peasy child's play. Today I left the pill home. BIG MISTAKE. I've got vertigo so bad I feel like I'm falling down a mineshaft and I've thrown up twice. The nausea is pretty bad too. If I had a normal job, I'd just go home. Unfortunately, I'm 150 miles from home in a heavy duty truck. I'm not driving and I won't be until this passes but I'm wondering if it should last an hour or two, or maybe days. If this will be the state of my existence, I'll call a couple guys so one can bring the rig in and another can give me a ride back to the shop. That's the nuclear option and highly frowned upon. Should I push the big red button and bail out or just hang out for a couple hours? Help!!",1.2049632352941195,2.9455564522058815,3.0995235294117656,92.21900588235296,80.06617647058823,5.969647058823531,20.80647058823529,6.918507183188421,0.32119482352941153,993,27,224,11,25,333,156,272,0.145,0.758,0.098,-0.9316,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,12,7,1,0,19,0,16,4,0,0,0,39,35,26,0,8,13,0,1,1,0,4,4,2,3,2,9,15,0,2,4,2,1,11,5,4,0,3,8,4,19,3,29,21,1,51,0,0,1,0,13,15,0,9,25,128,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700905137130688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160754715878368,0.186341529261001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418294390854762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469385299210201,0.0,0.07196460038921437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142143668502324,0.09765082978771167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05642190995231027,0.07971801520017728,0.0,0.0,0.10198880361285136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058299777510506565,0.10704474072748052,0.12683530926426484,0.09359416328848982,0.1784931727395034,0.0,0.0,0.11048900646685884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22438391766669435,0.11789814715085414,0.335793589125968,0.0,0.2197820969865375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107332128626786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638342891126383,0.0,0.0,0.2424799343277329,0.0,0.0,0.05451593592038627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210447746157493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933189713517054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561446683875213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352443717681465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614510986613614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898209082263435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389978952570151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413366776928737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115434941005516,0.10662648160593613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900461308758227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950863016847907,0.0,0.0,0.1034425785027689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101170599447415,0.0812369096735802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VibrantBee,2019/01/11,How do you approach someone who’s just attempted suicide? I have a friend who’s just attempted suicide and I want to speak to them. I’m not sure what things to say or talk about. ,1.2712162162162173,3.5664857837837864,2.368851351351349,94.55435810810816,83.05405405405406,5.8621621621621625,25.466216216216218,7.1686216300943375,1.08105945945946,142,6,31,2,4,45,28,37,0.264,0.627,0.109,-0.8157,0,0,0,0,0,2,3.0,0,1,1,2,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,4,3,2,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,0,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567246725673026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642485364952221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815463116348007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7269376787771478,0.0,0.3131772489680766,0.0,0.0,0.26708028704780673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22075719987983056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19599190987064186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,veryuncertain,2019/01/11,"Is this normal, or do I have a problem? Recently I've been having overwhelming, paralyzing feelings of fear and anxiety. My brain gets into a loop of everything that can go wrong and I can see no hope or positive resolution. I lose all motivation and just want to stay home and hide.

I can obsess about somewhat plausible, yet manageable difficulties, such as getting stuck in traffic and running late, saying the wrong thing to people at work, getting sick at an inopportune time, etc.

It tends to be worse when I'm low on energy, either from being tired or hungry.

During these periods I am highly agitated and irrational. It can take several hours or a day for me to calm down, and then I'm always embarrassed about the way I acted.

I didn't used to be this fearful and affected by risk. Throughout my life I've welcomed new challenges, taken on stretch assignments, and been happy to try new things.

And I'm not all that certain what I'm so freaked out about!

My marriage is healthy. If my job disintegrated, I have other options and nearly a year of living expenses saved. I'm actually on track for retirement. I'm healthy and exercise and spend time with good friends whom I love and respect.

So why am I getting panic attacks? Why am I getting so overwhelmed and scared?",5.607073529411764,7.0437983250000045,6.485049019607848,73.71308823529412,67.83333333333334,9.813725490196077,34.117647058823536,10.056822442137396,3.683470588235294,1018,48,177,25,17,337,156,240,0.24,0.603,0.157,-0.9669,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,4,10,27,1,9,7,0,19,6,1,3,3,40,41,26,0,5,8,0,1,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,12,18,0,0,2,1,2,3,3,16,0,0,5,3,16,11,28,33,5,31,0,4,1,1,6,13,0,8,13,117,28,6,0.0,0.0,0.1237749064478006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553879274536253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970301858794418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442957374184427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159237229535349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179956428822774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414571153098276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139931850183104,0.0,0.0,0.2854544464663639,0.06413274895500305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799418188045056,0.0,0.3313362662106013,0.0,0.0720845594783184,0.10638510789350727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502066236005936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401056929615934,0.12722815167794202,0.1259780561259465,0.12490918920287805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586644705054506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143077996903428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089588934674318,0.0,0.0,0.11199965799150928,0.0,0.0,0.14189849285231104,0.0,0.0,0.11447561359622692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24500050576120336,0.0,0.0,0.12427362203212695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881624070070254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793301219904832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136616453279615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523653011053687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086611032746423,0.1269862623461332,0.0,0.10107290490732868,0.0,0.0,0.14329004405425844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351916835377275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953658630765492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853012980878834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791969704417035,0.14578081564849082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611419959266875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954670153128246,0.0,0.0,0.07481192466191777,0.10067754344347912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289018665155681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233906364353144,0.0,0.12925804277995093,0.0,0.2773533484448511,0.0,0.0816790614538259
mentalhealth,Comeley,2019/01/11,"Try to be creative for the first time in months only to make a tiny, inconsequential mistake, so I smashed everything to pieces. My brain is fun. Haven't done anything crafty for months and months so I decide to make some nail and string art for my girlfriend. As usual, I go for something way beyond beginner level, so basically setting myself up to fail. I got about 3 hours into hammering tiny nails into a big piece of wood (got just over half way), and accidentally hit my thumb and finger with the hammer really hard. A pure rage came over me and I saw red, smashed the thing to pieces with the hammer, and now there's nails and wood all over my room and I fucking hate myself. Why do I do this to myself? I should just stick to lying in bed doing nothing, since I'm already world class at that.",4.606363636363637,5.7205084203821706,5.008210770121597,84.57748118123914,69.89171974522293,7.4925303995367685,25.10075275043428,7.686295010490155,1.1542025477707003,630,17,126,7,11,200,102,157,0.132,0.8290000000000001,0.039,-0.9331,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,9,6,3,0,7,0,8,3,2,2,2,23,19,12,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,13,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,5,0,2,5,4,16,1,27,11,5,28,0,1,2,1,1,14,1,1,9,83,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146319465712184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023408030727628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20380107411089354,0.0,0.20880383511012626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868256900284022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640761657668466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15528829086529752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877687378614076,0.0,0.0,0.10375495805556173,0.0,0.2920251743496019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354090104797714,0.18024351031361746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978812356336768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437249053359731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371609687511014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517445652660527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884765305878222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695475577077034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101828833343806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054618481733838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128697654501586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645415657305557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394852977374465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010677358795464,0.0,0.0,0.2898205766314505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473502599614273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kadukid,2019/01/11,"Does anyone have any advice for coping with severe morning depression? i’ve been having some really rough mornings for the past few months. i can’t even remember how it started and i guess i wouldn’t be asking how to cope with it if i knew what was causing it, but i’ve just been so lethargic lately. i wake up feeling useless and have a lot of trouble fighting myself to get out of bed. it’s been causing me to show up to work late more often than usual. it takes awhile for me to get going in the morning. i used to enjoy mornings and make myself breakfast, but lately it’s even hard for me to toast some eggo waffles that i have to force myself to eat in the car on my way to work. i’ve been losing my appetite, and the loss of appetite lasts throughout the whole day. my days start to get better but sometimes my feelings in the morning really trickle down into my daily life/routine where i feel like it’s affecting my relationships or hindering my ability to make an effort to keep these relationships healthy and strong. 

i try to discuss my feelings with my husband and for the most part he’s understanding but i feel like i’m at a point where i need to find better ways to cope with this issue before i just become such horrible company to keep. 

any help is greatly appreciated! ",3.932764705882352,5.5824949333333365,4.977009803921572,82.08904411764708,72.21568627450979,7.139215686274508,27.651960784313733,7.7348632917899725,1.7267607843137251,1028,38,191,13,20,337,144,255,0.111,0.746,0.14300000000000002,0.8953,0,0,0,0,2,0,15.0,0,0,0,8,11,13,1,0,10,0,13,3,1,8,0,47,36,15,0,3,8,1,7,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,11,12,2,2,9,1,0,2,2,6,0,0,6,7,27,7,40,28,8,28,0,4,0,0,8,13,0,8,13,132,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074909821317671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960789934674484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769147402518465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028353952613186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214866461937992,0.09360212036373096,0.0,0.0,0.19457258387795634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260011384005865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188213673552974,0.0,0.09474306377100447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962619698389553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255772878438797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530827014694098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27809718595801497,0.15716841713487445,0.0,0.0,0.10053824589749548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724117891225663,0.0,0.06251568338668463,0.0,0.0,0.12127567628807495,0.12117768923095915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853862776575442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373085636423354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481169370882775,0.0,0.1955465726903411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966489440253038,0.3722552576619177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769643756697465,0.1074811425713256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306215528543245,0.0,0.0935182884102822,0.0,0.0,0.14685205700988307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780115901168159,0.0,0.0,0.0815637998581267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911956341279327,0.10500769608711262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398580204344064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093796806157696,0.0,0.0,0.23619822812161284,0.12460885264971035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426898480602445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087930710082895,0.0,0.15571750206556487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270650670737159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468295673572496,0.0,0.0,0.11451415125792087,0.0,0.09500490754951693,0.1211497469720142,0.0,0.0,0.1746261744709646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281136327378885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016300047441442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hanls,2019/01/11,"Intrustive thoughts Discussion of self harm/suicide (For the angst) 

I've always had intrustive thoughts, but they have become harder to ignore.

For months it's been a constant vivid displays of self harm, and now recently its progressed into full on suicide ideation. While I'm not at risk, it's getting overwhelming to constantly keep on picturing possible attempts and means. Because goddamit the more you picture something the more desireable kt becomes and I am not actually contributing that much really. 

(A young co worker has also started I picked it weeks ago but it got to a point where we had to say something because it's summer and she's in long sleeves and it just was a wallop to the gut of pure nausea, i was in the same boat only 3 years ago) 

I just need a way to keep myself afloat. I'm organising to get a referal to see a mental health professional, because i can't hide it at work anymore and uni starts up soon. 

I'm midly terrified I haven't been in this bad of a place in years, and like years ago I keep on loosing my friends to what an awful person I am.

I keep on eating like shit and its horrible i haven't lost control on my diet like this, and I am already getting fatter its terrifying 

I've been going bad for a while but a whole series of changes just toppled me down, just forcing me to become aware of what a shitty horrible person i am. I've ruined relationships based on past trauma where I've deliberately kept myself going back or with the same abusive people and wondering why I feel goddam awful 


Thank you for listening, I'm in an insommia spiral and I don't want to loose my one friend to being a despicable asshat so a redit thread devoted to it might help 

My biggest worry is i won't even get refered, or if I do they'll realise how overdramatic I am about this, and how I really do have it easy
",5.8805785123966965,6.200796438016528,6.67585399449036,76.588326446281,66.71349862258954,9.354820936639117,32.753443526170805,9.218907990703514,2.86526005509642,1469,59,273,25,22,487,195,363,0.212,0.6859999999999999,0.102,-0.9952,0,0,2,0,0,2,24.0,1,2,2,6,15,18,2,2,21,2,26,5,2,4,1,51,55,24,1,4,12,0,1,3,2,3,1,2,0,4,18,15,2,7,7,0,0,2,7,11,0,1,12,5,32,7,41,39,7,48,0,3,2,0,17,23,2,5,25,181,50,3,0.0,0.11126598535776866,0.09164095918850296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249732138687183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363014968251076,0.07509843753476518,0.07813923255001982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313180458915213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220968988742578,0.156819024149741,0.17173689320360142,0.3111430344261307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934253483280077,0.0,0.0,0.2029630322136688,0.10532614917879958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609164019069896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062025549744521076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047482860608022495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510664689864816,0.0,0.1962528536414254,0.0,0.1067405076336646,0.0,0.07510705014981937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982013680407437,0.0,0.0,0.0629447573011684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338800650371845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763656291030582,0.0,0.0,0.08310589475251799,0.0,0.0,0.10251200809233386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229367424585664,0.0,0.0,0.0946374839134786,0.09962187133812793,0.0,0.0,0.07495671306799752,0.0,0.06903340936114405,0.0696318182074085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363469779539771,0.07142149757942534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964610301426633,0.0651041944891594,0.16399421932806402,0.09811419130156912,0.0,0.08877370201774616,0.10586750384111293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032012961210105,0.0,0.09272312194887034,0.1008223753067179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467965329402547,0.0,0.0,0.0748327606903276,0.0,0.19593368539165013,0.0,0.09639552552536562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445904021795648,0.0,0.0,0.13293756316406866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054408873459272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645815021282273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910540893054652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055389551335653535,0.07454004139194036,0.07532757776362553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473763870858525,0.10484526880992813,0.0,0.0,0.1018395508505706,0.06836636444100344,0.09536844208719553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814216084356804
mentalhealth,NotSureIfMean,2019/01/11,"Does anyone else just get so bored of feeling like crap all the time? I’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety for years, have been on medication for 3 years, and have been in and out of various therapies. I’m so apathetic towards the whole process because it always feels pointless. I’ve forgotten what it felt like to not have some kind of dark cloud over my head, or not be able to get out of bed most days because you’re so anxious and uncomfortable.  Does anyone else feel this way? It would be interesting (and dare I say, maybe cathartic?) to start a dialogue about this.

TL,DR: am bored with being sad. Anyone else? ",4.783166666666666,6.381531650000002,5.146666666666668,81.91166666666669,70.0,9.0,29.16666666666667,9.444778638647367,2.538416666666667,498,19,97,11,9,158,83,120,0.225,0.706,0.069,-0.9658,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,5,10,1,0,3,0,11,3,2,0,1,20,19,9,0,1,4,0,4,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,6,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,5,2,4,18,11,5,12,0,3,0,0,1,6,1,3,7,57,8,0,0.14719673152493662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122479472313057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260509672140505,0.16629040873931575,0.0,0.30877013153014354,0.4524613390567648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17945952261386858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492971455181204,0.0,0.12678032917294432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25762570339748264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688919439511132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22328127067778167,0.10515737441271236,0.14133194579393488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380843380146106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15106631280265806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328274463989913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438257756579656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787890140222773,0.0,0.0,0.1482852211298092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705674895282762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418660419076947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833229082112028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583159787694902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683791404060785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433989404925825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456433479476837,0.0,0.0,0.1895797381352922
mentalhealth,poliguez33,2019/01/11,"Just want to vent and some good advice. Help! So here's the thing:
I've been friend with a girl for years, like 5 and tbh she's been an outstanding support and friend so I don't have any cause to complaint I only have sweet words for her, she's been my main support.
I'm shy, I have depression and I do not have social skills. Again even tough, she's been always there for me but last week my dad died and now we have a very very rough situation in my house and tbh I need her more than ever. But yesterday she told me that she can't take no more.
I do NOT blame her in part. I understand her and she's right I think, it always happen in a friendship where one have a mental illness and needs his friend more than the friend needs him. She told me some months ago again, that I couldn't be so needy from her, because she's tired and wants that someone that can do more than her to help me and truly I see that she really cares for me and I appreciate her to the moon and back, that's why this situation is tough.
I'm not good making new friends and being friend with he I'm more than comfortable being his close friend, tbh I consider her as my little sister but it hurts me A LOT A LOT the moment that she has chosen to tell me this, my dad has die and I need her that's all I know BUT I think that is normal to her, she's tired of me, of every single night I cry to her through WhatsApp, she has life(work, studies...)
So I mean it's screwed up this situation because it means that I can't count with her as much as I did or I need, and I'm alone for that I'm terrified of the future.
So I'm looking for advice, what would do you do? You'd put yourself a bit away from her and give her space? I really don't know what to do do, help me pls.
PS: Sorry for my English",0.9560172026925926,2.621920143979061,2.505314884068813,96.54024607329843,80.54450261780104,5.726970830216904,18.244128646222887,6.610729790773281,-0.29149268511593096,1373,28,333,13,35,448,168,382,0.134,0.679,0.188,0.9627,0,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,1,2,0,1,15,20,1,0,13,0,34,4,0,2,2,56,65,29,2,10,9,3,1,1,7,1,3,0,0,1,21,21,0,0,7,0,0,1,9,5,0,1,7,4,68,15,36,52,15,26,0,2,2,1,52,10,1,5,16,226,89,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645928598490836,0.07465379006975015,0.0,0.0,0.08722399876154413,0.0,0.0,0.14015152139406928,0.0,0.0,0.057270832215740974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791251746902158,0.06475810912679672,0.0,0.10267649201941316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194376893810302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858654204325006,0.08651463816030154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250904071722307,0.0,0.0,0.07253646542096849,0.0,0.1748090726834202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055624907478029416,0.07617960918536894,0.07095693087597346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554639732337207,0.0,0.0,0.08078916243777841,0.0,0.1412753958719356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447331469084363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934777598228978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717576286609507,0.09015664527555407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256754260579428,0.06864855593042828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05948535684397091,0.04114444831747753,0.08440812498485581,0.0,0.0,0.07072154395363753,0.0,0.0,0.14319752440973174,0.0,0.0,0.05621587866865824,0.0,0.0,0.18347523525226248,0.0,0.0,0.08487149744457925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722165698552092,0.0,0.061909600550469374,0.3122312870476573,0.0,0.08133784917266333,0.0,0.07903247979807275,0.08251533272214473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057068001683838875,0.06405125325227398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119941606846492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466191397953593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790385744237316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192134044394058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671104957049201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28399221527187746,0.0,0.08584920185795625,0.0713572696183568,0.0,0.0,0.09427466914304868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19113818971897475,0.0,0.0,0.06332112795474519,0.0,0.0736098639424687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055950408089350506,0.10792643032794036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359140437109187,0.0,0.16094698504733376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767345536775717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897662237947594,0.09934740380329952,0.0,0.06755425080316778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599325330426596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131139042384669,0.0,0.0,0.059825741931627,0.0,0.0,0.05423335074721325
mentalhealth,donutswow,2019/01/11,"What mental illness do you think I have? After an physically abusive relationship with my father when I was 6 weeks old, my mother decided to kidnap me and move to another country. My mother was then married my brother and sister's father for 7 years. I was 13 when they went through a messy divorce and I was made to feel guilty for wanting to continue a relationship with him after the split (to the point where I testified against him in court, when my mum was trying to move states with my siblings) This man was a lazy pothead but also someone I referred to as my father. My mother and I have tumultuous relationship - When I was a teenager she would get drunk and say the nastiest thing she could think of to upset me (She has done this with my siblings as well) When I didn't have a boyfriend in highschool she would call me a dyke and then proceed to tell me all the reasons why no one wanted me. She would tell me I had my father's cold eyes while we were arguing. She would  start physical fights with me and forget about them in the morning. She was just plain nasty. She obviously has her own issues but I think she has passed something on to me. I feel like I am blocking something out from my childhood that has caused significant trauma but I cannot for the life of me put my finger on it and it's driving me nuts. 

-Binge eating
-Self esteem issues
-strong abandonment issues in romantic relationships
-Issues with my mood (extreme anger/sadness)
+Need for attention and reassurance frequently
-Constantly comparing myself to most people - I rip apart other people's personality/physical features in my head because it makes me feel better
-Constantly thinking people are judging me and ripping me apart in their heads. 
-General lack of motivation (hard to get out of bed)
-I lie to make myself look better than I am
-Lack of confidence when talking to most people
-CONSTANT anxiety

I am 24 now and have considered that maybe I have borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder & depression. Just looking to see if anyone can relate to these symptoms. 
",5.222610887096772,7.351242322916669,5.742530241935487,75.95428427419357,69.78125,8.600672043010753,31.65793010752688,9.19923166143015,3.083362163978495,1668,74,279,35,31,537,212,384,0.174,0.75,0.076,-0.9904,0,0,2,0,2,0,41.0,1,1,3,4,13,13,2,1,13,0,33,11,4,6,2,60,53,27,0,11,6,10,5,1,0,4,4,1,1,3,11,20,2,2,12,1,0,6,3,6,1,1,14,11,65,6,50,34,6,44,0,2,4,1,43,14,1,3,24,210,76,2,0.0,0.10292162363364163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946645103240426,0.0,0.09411892544087096,0.0,0.0,0.09108623697320316,0.06645200563986475,0.0,0.0,0.06073850153996493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295251083691548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365126563269502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869956904488388,0.0,0.0,0.08923497919794576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816128138245,0.0,0.06935517527840883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481728087377895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19911118455085036,0.0,0.0,0.08889374735429477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888527427538671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176568992312468,0.06205685746921082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076746264621408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781458501581069,0.0,0.17829849203348824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626607962170009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061355797046954014,0.04243818234456643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589058309083391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219440451594294,0.1159670287078382,0.0,0.08726824873931183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754017204502101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846489364107648,0.0,0.06440979930591766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115091631310313,0.0,0.05886243127654255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408868938926564,0.07584775915794921,0.0,0.0,0.08211614284686321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732399849865857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931238408161674,0.0,0.3730449168917828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907907339969359,0.0,0.0,0.0692206985492581,0.0,0.09061984648852874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360100678243514,0.13374688505486734,0.0,0.0,0.06148397373533185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028669935151083,0.0,0.06981934128108318,0.1518488620503506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057709696395178985,0.22264007502123573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897609311100891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247125457926612,0.0,0.06967840695332889,0.0,0.07810267635518199,0.0805253534508434,0.07838276298660023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24682754041593274,0.0,0.0,0.055938648403006885
mentalhealth,PrinceLunar72,2019/01/11,"I am inhuman. I can't help but wonder why I'm human. Why am I in a physical form? What was I created for? Why am I not a spirit floating through time and space? What happens when I die? Is life on Earth just a game?

I feel like I lost all connection to humanity. I don't understand the point of existing and surviving. Why do humans want to exist? Why do we cooperate and feel empathy for each other? Why do we even care? Why act civilized ? Instead of just behaving like violent mindless beasts and just destroy each other. What is the point of things like love and happiness? Why do we get love and happiness just by existing? These questions fill my head 24/7 with no end in sight. I do nothing but sit and think all the time about these questions. I use to believe in a point of existing and morality. I considered myself a humanist. Not I see no point in interacting with others and life. I keep questioning everything about humans and why they act. I feel like an psychopath or alien observing animal behavior or something. I don't know if it is the DP just tricking me or something to think like this but I hate it and wish I could take the blue pill.

I feel like a monster.",1.871538461538464,4.402784137931036,3.708103448275864,84.37031830238729,82.6206896551724,8.051989389920426,26.16445623342176,8.841846274778883,2.456421220159151,928,40,182,26,26,311,121,232,0.14,0.648,0.212,0.967,0,0,2,0,0,1,26.0,3,0,1,2,10,16,4,0,12,0,16,6,1,1,2,51,39,19,1,4,14,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,4,12,18,0,1,12,1,0,3,7,5,0,0,2,7,26,11,21,36,5,18,2,1,3,2,16,10,0,8,10,122,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418717784712524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523451007497013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674680947326672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676231707584761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404369026996735,0.0,0.0,0.0552161942837331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513317737975911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908018500628166,0.17916891819736655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043676903066704346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392610971168657,0.1779848746817876,0.0,0.0825364705998013,0.08579644871025864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603448841000802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430642136383121,0.0,0.0,0.045943693649361114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809655672078972,0.2450527961300984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125792481576388,0.0,0.15090229438892402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021526742231895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161114088041494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28094923989075943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661739025425124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871682348958438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285586550944491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055539303225555225,0.10713342305676864,0.0,0.0,0.0974942215553914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870292601749381,0.0,0.07220248961545654,0.0,0.0,0.04930871617318334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6789139229261236,0.0,0.09613445130903156,0.0,0.09065929199652016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ijustwanttobehappy7,2019/01/11,"I feel utterly broken by life and don’t know what to do. I’m always constantly trying to distract my brain by doing things I enjoy doing but it’s not enough. 
I feel dead inside. 
My heart was broken as well. 
My faith took a hit as well and I just feel like I’m wasting my life away. 

I have so much love inside to give and it’s caged inside my soul because there’s no one to share it with. It hurts so much. ",-0.2568539325842707,1.7515568539325876,1.934932584269664,97.04194943820228,87.20224719101124,4.458876404494381,14.517977528089885,5.6839178017228535,-0.9423132584269668,316,5,74,2,10,106,55,89,0.172,0.573,0.255,0.8791,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,1,0,6,5,2,0,0,11,16,8,1,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,2,2,1,2,3,10,7,10,13,3,3,2,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330429005347045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956843862791625,0.0,0.0,0.1269645621938872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23250754456551395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22507492751719246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21520723424281252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159354083282131,0.14879411032977885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19979959262698616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468108732381757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229663045776062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446434611426495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29422634685314153,0.10175429184608037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797936215355526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30621713597315425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113481492333574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383708953806214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314049344692411,0.14140734260565138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745345386981531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,utterlymoist,2019/01/11,"Ways to cope with loneliness and boredom? Not sure if this is the right sub, please point me in the correct direction if not (or if another sub might have help advice as well.)

I’m 17 and have been through a lot recently with my mental health, which has made it hard for me to be in public school. For that reason I’m doing online school, which means I’m alone all day. I don’t have a license yet, so getting a job is hard for me. I get bored and lonely and obsessive when I have someone to talk to. I get annoyed when people don’t answer me as fast as I think they should. I need something to occupy my time and my thoughts, a way to distract myself and spend my time doing something useful. ",4.4033255086072005,4.725350021126761,5.105586854460093,86.55999217527388,69.91549295774648,8.001251956181534,27.045383411580595,7.793537801064563,1.3938190923317677,541,16,115,6,9,175,88,142,0.161,0.784,0.055,-0.8824,1,3,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,5,7,1,2,6,0,15,1,0,3,3,28,27,16,0,5,6,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,5,0,1,0,4,5,1,0,3,2,16,2,17,21,2,14,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,6,8,78,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892963421338346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844568142884725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054190808502426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488915277166752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549175943497727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29138645412137976,0.0,0.0,0.17287839756801493,0.0,0.0,0.10901396377458622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613948082534176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382704583635523,0.0,0.15389361824427006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716231465078894,0.0,0.0,0.1639025660818687,0.17253502180092728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059527803565145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275389093418743,0.0,0.0,0.17852955271823512,0.15374708793608854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722070098671935,0.16058708446260164,0.0,0.0,0.13889341663268193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32920012214834804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780409149351527,0.2504159765036276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328599412257324,0.0,0.0,0.13072363157145692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421295376788044,0.0,0.12911775614589382,0.18967303598996846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046848308458018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25819164996307986,0.0,0.0,0.14623262410190924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Burner032313,2019/01/11,"Coming to terms with things and taking the next step Burner account because. 
I’ve never really done anything of this sort so bear with me. But I’m a 29 year old man who’s recently confronted some childhood sexual abuse memories amongst other things. Even seeing it in real words in real life is mindblowing to me right now. But I’m not sure what to do next. The first person I talked to about it really was my son’s mother who was understanding and offered a lot of help. But the conversation went south, maybe my fault I’m not sure, and I reverted back to just isolating myself and not letting her help. Over such a silly thing really. Most of my friends and family are what I’d describe as toxic. I barely scrape by as it is and I am having a hard time figuring out what I’m supposed to be doing and how to deal with everything. Over the summer I got “triggered” by something and ended up with 20 Xanax bars in my belly on my way to a bar to just hopefully not have to deal with it anymore which somehow ended up with me commuitting myself and being diagnosed with some kind of mega depression word. I was doing okay for a while. But now that I’m actually confronting things I’m lost and I don’t even know what my next move is. I’ve always put the people I love ahead of me because it makes be feel better about what’s happened to me, wether it be my childhood abuse or other pretty awful things.  I’m poor, have mental health issues, a single dad, and I’m sorta loosing hope that anything could turn around honestly. I seem to be a magnet for misery. 
Thanks for letting me vent if nothing else. 
Any input would be incredible. I don’t want to be this way or have things really start to get worse. I’m just at my wits end and feel just completely broken. ",4.2359090909090895,5.349964727272732,5.355177272727276,81.74664090909091,70.76136363636364,8.359272727272728,25.443636363636365,8.726425361277474,1.7548294090909091,1392,40,271,24,25,461,191,352,0.115,0.79,0.095,-0.8192,0,0,1,0,3,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,16,17,2,0,13,2,29,8,0,3,3,65,59,24,0,6,15,3,3,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,26,22,2,0,6,2,2,5,7,5,0,1,7,4,27,12,47,41,6,42,0,2,1,1,17,13,0,13,22,186,53,0,0.0,0.21374951481812424,0.0880242533287482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505538638840248,0.0,0.0,0.06134053198968276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894562609635745,0.0,0.0,0.1484573113717548,0.08029900713018093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935985930010373,0.0,0.10997274528122084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977644133628897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770113582608545,0.09457520237771233,0.0,0.0,0.07201904975117482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18598884150904266,0.07769095026962965,0.09155324892175584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923080820944931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535229337057403,0.0,0.2396769039027615,0.0,0.0,0.11915529370084472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106784552516963,0.0,0.08503452710903649,0.0,0.09121780016153692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767258737239414,0.0,0.0,0.06968993100573241,0.0,0.047126882614487775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214287222336414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797654332132408,0.0,0.08080337836541136,0.0,0.0,0.09588063118455974,0.0,0.0,0.12092115384775977,0.0,0.0,0.1791821079819628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414757377768422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393162305775214,0.04957272392190243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447554982225872,0.06371242206957832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984662649699803,0.07668661329915409,0.08141093134582797,0.0,0.06021061280920556,0.0,0.0906201494326119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090251708583692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958705740738594,0.0,0.0,0.0695694325835216,0.0,0.28779292081295005,0.0,0.0,0.08655136299219791,0.0,0.09465194703158933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253478967510442,0.07876100836575944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917679801392616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067804049374603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053395113523794,0.231143140868655,0.0,0.08906370740916192,0.0,0.0,0.07703211414186227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187940788294793,0.08211661858133308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944199571383552,0.0,0.0,0.06384552191771753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002885351760375,0.0,0.06782076538191596,0.07250104398311523,0.0,0.08304598930500126,0.0,0.0,0.3595576663854358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052597579180634894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811399993409106,0.0,0.0939035838238404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053203545027352285,0.14319648211283026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361826515652457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192366230742363,0.06407699512623526,0.0,0.0,0.05808720526157765
mentalhealth,endlessly15,2019/01/11,"Finally realizing my parents don’t remember... My childhood was full of a lot of domestic violence. Mostly arguments but some physical stuff. Will not forget the night my mom stabbed my dad. Wasn’t there, but the events prior and after won’t leave me. 

Obviously I’m pissed and have problems. And when I bring shit up they disregard it. Because booze makes them not remember. I get it. 

They are now in their 50s. And honestly so helpful. Took them awhile. I love them. So much. 

What do I do to recover from my problems and hang ups?",1.3829042904290425,4.0812620099009935,3.041940594059408,85.24621122112214,92.26732673267328,7.4458085808580865,25.545214521452145,8.238735603445708,2.4320014521452142,417,19,79,12,15,137,73,101,0.239,0.628,0.133,-0.9057,1,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,0,0,6,0,5,6,2,0,3,0,9,4,2,1,1,21,15,10,0,2,4,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,1,3,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,3,0,16,2,8,10,5,15,0,0,0,1,11,4,2,3,8,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050752367396867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23452557384374825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185340027227386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350028553088173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266908265093433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201200624796715,0.19322494901379494,0.0,0.14290700766862444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250740094641114,0.0,0.0,0.15738108111365345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20090934205873126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23772205868138355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097112077785329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4850453885025858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197607240044533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245082292858953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23786231718264186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,person31298,2019/01/11,"How to recover from burnout immediately Hey guys,

For the past few months I've been experiencing burnout (I think). I worked literally from the moment   
I woke up till the moment I went to sleep for everyday last year (not even exaggerating). I've taken some advice and have been resting and taking it easy for months but nothing has changed. Everything still feels overwhelming and cluttered. 

Now I've had it. I can't go on in this torment. School is starting in a few days and I haven't accomplished anything. I'm tired of all this. Anyone who knows how to destroy the symptoms of burnout (or whatever you think I may be experiencing) immediately please just comment. I only ask for those comments. Please.

Thanks.",3.6273333333333326,6.656623476923079,4.309999999999999,79.59833333333336,79.61538461538461,7.1589743589743575,28.666666666666664,8.238735603445708,2.4136820512820507,572,26,101,12,15,182,88,130,0.08800000000000001,0.823,0.08800000000000001,-0.2521,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,5,6,3,1,1,5,0,10,3,1,2,1,17,23,9,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,6,3,9,1,16,15,5,19,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,3,13,64,15,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18303402615624745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309692617916544,0.0,0.15413752756605767,0.0,0.17510656292055227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198145746500438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079738323779103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371436743498768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833926411433214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470794032976863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645076453155307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18546316919089365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293891259963324,0.15268003233286773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990129835336872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972591549476175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424552532092408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17880552406391792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41121321374237296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18956447004414773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874420594697389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257670913786804,0.0,0.1495834434473862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19468347199661987,0.1408313945202581,0.0,0.0,0.17244692561750868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24003725422484826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21528159972293226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736352697148725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636157302089355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206194308587638
mentalhealth,Apotrox,2019/01/11,"Anxiety ppl: how do you sleep? Like the title says, I'd like to know how well you can sleep. Just some personal kind of survey.

If you take any meds helping you sleep please mention it and if possible and you remember it, how you slept before you took meds.

Doesn't matter if you're officially diagnosed with any kind of anxiety or not.

I personally can sleep horrible when sober/without meds. The sleep isn't restful at all and I'm plagued with daytime fatigue and sleepiness every day! For the last few days I've resorted to benzos to help me sleep and finally sleep became restful again. However, I'm not officially diagnosed with anything, simply bc I don't want the diagnosis until I moved out and live alone bc I don't want my family to know. ",3.2057438423645337,5.6323603379310345,4.643768472906405,80.21629310344831,76.65517241379311,8.55665024630542,27.598522167487694,9.23628265651192,2.7248522167487694,599,25,111,16,14,199,86,145,0.129,0.774,0.096,-0.2318,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,7,0,0,7,6,0,0,4,0,7,11,8,3,1,28,16,15,0,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,10,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,1,1,0,2,1,13,5,13,14,5,11,0,1,0,0,13,2,0,5,9,63,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426857500063484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692442788735193,0.0,0.15403166262412948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284665850587579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566671168975126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298536406484886,0.0,0.0,0.20436530012403906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482273426930102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490709973818533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028415759383868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496019086423805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20967431045228568,0.11065630899591483,0.08206327621238285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836909694954467,0.0,0.08889755995727301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354805203720692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700121991526827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758104414895917,0.0,0.11051053312574366,0.0,0.11349554067191425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404475253820988,0.0,0.0,0.08006052207027664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7052314887242932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569480731242344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118532398998984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876103333558413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051860044361072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970467695387846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sqidleston,2019/01/11,"Trouble discerning fiction from reality For as long as I can remember, I have always gotten sucked into fictional worlds... Like *really* sucked in. Often to the point where I had trouble telling when I was in real school or the school of the book I was reading. I knew I wasn't with the characters but I was definitely in the world of Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and so many others. My parents were aware of this when I was younger, however they just played it off as me having a strong imagination. As I got older (middle school, high school, and college) this continued to happen. Of course, I didn't talk about the world I happened to be in at the moment to friends or family anymore, but I would frequently find myself mildly confused with clues to my mind being somewhere else for a while. I have/had PTSD from something that happened was I was a child. I've mostly come to terms with everything after a lot of therapy and such, however I was just curious as to whether or not anyone else has experienced something like this? I never thought to bring it up when I went to therapy because I didn't realize all people didn't keep doing this as they got older. It wasn't until I was talking to a friend about it and they looked pretty confused with what I was talking about...",5.719882653061223,6.6023487918367385,6.323915816326532,76.99648596938776,67.20408163265307,9.227040816326527,31.6390306122449,9.354420925462401,2.874270408163265,1014,40,182,19,16,331,134,245,0.056,0.813,0.131,0.969,3,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,3,1,12,12,2,2,12,0,24,0,0,0,2,37,39,22,0,1,9,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,11,10,0,1,7,3,0,3,7,6,0,0,22,2,28,6,42,14,4,32,0,0,1,0,11,15,2,8,16,142,39,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881184787469044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777087395205495,0.08303472325828036,0.12167628354292967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239060845584548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229502747752403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984054631605417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672736501693283,0.0,0.1119495769872246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853791350834163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834962470328486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899549348394212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31503814309362144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546885976649205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555295054160876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603324537886014,0.0,0.0,0.10509249658318737,0.09972244857708376,0.0,0.0,0.10095938921862782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039670653014566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199064816754645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158948504505576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186093787445044,0.0,0.0,0.08232824346910543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225978618916456,0.0,0.0,0.1208142963432865,0.0,0.0,0.1388156756004677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878494242873085,0.1351666917908891,0.07607608851215257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452377998575035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4807367192695407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18284342395046774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28634702212083185,0.10379518688931863,0.0,0.2716083666738902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427646333170274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100850411113032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435858636335243,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jbain101,2019/01/11,"Some days are worse than others Not all the time do I feel like or realize I have a major issue. But then some days it's like I've got Alzheimer or something. I reach for my drink, I just got a the drink where is it? Oh it's still in the kitchen I never carried over. I go get it, set the drink down and there's an open uneaten pudding cup. When did I get that out? A few hours ago maybe. This cycle goes on. People get frustrated with me. Because to get me to do something they have to tell me three or four times. I'm not being rude or blowing them off. I just forgot. But not every day is like this. And sometimes it's different. Some times it's a fog I can't think through. Everyday I play a little puzzle game on my phone. It's quick, and I try to solve it faster each time. But if I can't, if I get angry at my phone, then I know the puzzle hasn't changed, I have. I got a front row view of my grandmother losing her mind. But no mine is stable it's not progressing. The drugs are doing their thing. Today wasn't bad. I've been through worse.",-0.07070796460176965,1.9480349734513285,1.7196707964601785,98.83462123893808,86.43362831858406,4.854938053097347,17.4470796460177,6.152001189255117,-0.4952376637168139,808,19,195,7,25,264,129,226,0.068,0.8220000000000001,0.11,0.7177,1,0,6,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,3,2,7,8,2,0,13,0,18,5,0,0,2,36,32,16,0,2,16,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,14,7,4,1,4,5,0,2,10,4,0,2,7,2,28,4,18,24,7,32,0,1,1,0,8,11,0,11,21,127,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580149135562508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907613031869942,0.07963487782671777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381962339628602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527494593883824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648747496738498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3839224939409962,0.15149701775435273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006699605979196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605380590354673,0.09332683539956783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34126123975188816,0.0,0.074243808007735,0.0,0.3134461434540812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286507669422559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635070246351405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179447603973617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914673778136399,0.13093222389172418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614897470633334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312420547518561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190575714916702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007550234395916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056699135702703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20114092198293296,0.12920296858230798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432658239060184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418217367207086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678917296294081,0.08370667836815351,0.0,0.0,0.30470108071376684,0.0,0.12382825139459648,0.0,0.0,0.0886936973405642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662597754931621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NewCountryside,2019/01/11,"Is it okay for me to absolutely hate myself? Is it okay for me to absolutely hate myself? I’ve dug myself into this hole of self hatred I’m in, and I have no idea how to get out. I feel like I’m alone in here against the world and like what friends I have don’t really care and don’t even really like me. Is it okay to hate myself for this situation I think I’ve caused?",0.2948780487804896,2.035521597560976,2.941646341463418,92.22881097560978,83.02439024390246,6.5390243902439025,16.347560975609756,7.6454224807358475,-0.02180975609756075,289,5,71,5,8,101,44,82,0.212,0.588,0.201,-0.6281,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,11,3,0,1,3,7,0,0,2,0,10,16,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,11,8,13,16,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,45,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22162509349533344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21817311865503575,0.219822698376966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133581921862926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819781574723804,0.15287173241130464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16532515147357008,0.0,0.11179891979052856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6338009983643811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415642917333608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136284394655095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741699857117366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223234199869387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405293732429597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711367027232088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justsurviving2011,2019/01/11,Your mind can be your worst enemy... Ok.. well I wish I had someone to talk to about things. Not someone that would criticize or feel sorry for me just to let me vent and if I have to cry to. But it’s hard when you have trust issues and therefore trust no one. And it’s not something you can talk to family about. Some days are bad for me... some days I sit here all alone and just am quiet.. some days I suffer from horrible nightmares (one reason I can’t sleep in the total dark). I have depression and anxiety and I suffer from PTSD. I used to be happy all the time and fun loving.. then 8 years ago I changed. I could tell I fell into a deep depression and I’ve slowly gotten better but I’m not really close to anyone or open up to anyone. Kinda makes you wonder if there are any non judgemental people out there..,1.2297478991596622,3.3246845238095264,2.943879551820732,91.55798319327734,81.73809523809524,6.0957983193277325,17.025210084033613,7.285733465282438,0.09322226890756324,632,12,136,9,17,209,105,168,0.159,0.757,0.084,-0.8294,0,1,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,5,0,1,9,14,0,0,3,1,15,2,1,4,3,40,23,16,0,5,11,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,12,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,6,1,2,2,3,20,8,19,16,7,17,0,4,0,1,9,7,0,9,8,96,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443044894783554,0.0,0.0,0.15706585427992958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312863793231376,0.0,0.11601345216461192,0.0,0.0,0.21207736847387865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662318072575596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341239710063552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042782832109873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108187303082782,0.0,0.16658272625851586,0.29340920310395063,0.0,0.2612354872410185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296411644177354,0.0,0.07667986550412981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614364953748049,0.13585050668546314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582854066208239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507456136983055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687195383157882,0.0,0.1012289637319692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312540404088112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055267945471096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513648110619507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727320588941098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715222754014703,0.15592363087599925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151761635401535,0.0,0.2569886882239991,0.11674920645412655,0.0,0.16976212574696828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437844496003731,0.13255063202457282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075092599101276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884295672614683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309787351503275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635346322526007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439244690715205,0.0,0.16446024865029632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077293107153948,0.0,0.0,0.0976589893437638
mentalhealth,Queen0fPentacles,2019/01/11,"I have nobody that will listen to me right now. Please read my story. I am having a mental break and I need help. TL;DR [Trigger: abuse, bereavement, suicide] My diagnoses: CPTSD, bipolar 1, depression (symptom, not MDD), anxiety, akathisia (debilitating movement disorder caused by an antipsychotic I was prescribed), ADHD, formerly suffered from Bulimia (now EDNOS), substance abuse. I have been institutionalized in psychiatric facilities many times, did outpatient rehab for 2 years as a teenager, I was sexually assaulted twice as a young teen, and I was last hospitalized in October of 2018 for suicidal ideations and psychosis, as documented by my local E.R. 

I suffered from PTSD after many years of physical, mental, emotional, verbal, and financial abuse at the hands of my father. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was when I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD after my first boyfriend committed suicide by firearm on January 27th, 2015. I was never the same after that. I am a different person now. 

There is an alarm bell going off in my head, and it won’t stop. It never stops. That is the reality of living with Complex Trauma. 

My current situation is that I am dealing with the loss of my grandmother who passed away last August, and then I was physically assaulted by my father the same night she died. I realize this is a delayed response to my loss, however I deal with bereavement in a very strange way after losing my boyfriend, and I also lost an uncle from suicide by firearm the previous year. What sets him apart is that like me, he also dealt with PTSD but instead it was because he was a sharp shooter in Vietnam. Like me he also was bipolar and suffered from addiction, specifically alcoholism. I never was the kind of person to use drugs, but I have been using hard substances since the beginning of October. I feel as though the suicide of my Uncle Don set a precedent for what my future may look like. I am holding on for dear life, and taking it one day at a time. I refuse to let my illness swallow me whole. 

I am just feeling very haunted right now. Absolutely haunted. When I found out my grandmother was slipping away, my family and I drove over 2,000 miles from the west coast to Rochester, New York so we could be there for her final moments. The drive was tense and nerve wracking, because we were unsure if we would make it there in time. We completed our drive in about 3 days, and when we got there, she was still alive, but barely. 

I walked into my grandparent’s living room, and she laid in a hospital bed. Her lungs had filled with fluid, and she had the death rattle in her chest. It was such a loud, jarring noise. I am still haunted by the sound. 

I grabbed her hand and leaned in close to her. I said, “Grandma, it’s Mary Margaret.” Her eyes were closed and her chest was rattling very loud. I do not remember what I said next. I do realize this may be a sign of a mental breakdown. However, I do remember that I said exactly what I needed to say, and I find peace in that. After I said it, she raised her eyebrows and furrowed them together. She opened her mouth very wide but could not speak. 

What did she mean to say? I want to know what she said. When I see her in my dreams I ask her, but I haven’t gotten an answer yet. 

I was taking turns with my cousins holding her hand, and when my turn was up, I went outside and broke down in hysterics. It was extremely hard for me to keep my composure when I was holding my grandmother’s hand, but I did. I didn’t want her to be sad or afraid. 

About 30 minutes passed and it was my turn again to hold my grandmother’s hand. When I came back in I realized that she had an accident in her bed, and I called my mother in to clean her up (she is an Registered Nurse and used to work in an elderly home). She gave her fresh bedding and a gown, fluffed her pillow and put lotion on her arms and legs. I knew the end was near. 

I sat with her and held her hand. I wanted to talk to her but I was lost for words. I wonder if she could feel me holding her hand. I wanted her to know I was there. I had to use the bathroom which was only the next room over, so I walked away and took about two minutes to do that. Her chest was still rattling, even louder now. 

When I returned to my grandmother, the air was so thick, it could be sliced with a butterknife. I had a very odd feeling, it was very strange. 

The room was completely silent. 

I approached my grandmother and touched her wrist. 

She was gone. 

I imagine her choking and reaching for me. But I wasn’t there. She suffocated and died alone. This weighs on me heavily to this day.

I went outside to break the news to my family who were all seated at the picnic table. Everyone gasped, cried, and scattered, some of them tried to head into the house to pay their final respects. They were stopped by my father, who is my grandmother’s eldest child and also the primary abuser in my household. He told everyone to get lost, and that only my grandmother’s children were welcome to pay their final respects. I was heartbroken. My cousins and my brother and I walked over to the pond. We sat there and sobbed. I felt so empty and lost. Not only was I lost, I felt as though I lost something very dear to me. I still feel like that, even in this moment. We sat at the pond with teary eyes and gazed emptily over the water. After sitting there for about a half hour, we collected ourselves and headed to the bar. We got drunk, barely ate the food we ordered, and we didn’t have a lot to say to each other. We headed back to my grandparents house after dark. 

I am still traumatized by this next event so I will try to keep this short and simple. After getting back and walking up the patio, I saw my mother, father and aunt were all seated at the table. My aunt seemed sober but my parents were absolutely fucking plastered. I realized in all the commotion before leaving, I had misplaced my phone. I asked my mother to call it. I heard it ringing in the house and I went inside to grab it. 

I answered my phone to tell my mom I had found it. In the background I heard my father talking to my aunt. He said, “She is completely fucking brain dead.” My father often likes to tell people how stupid I am, although I consider myself to be at least semi intelligent. I was seething with rage. Hatred boiled up inside of me and it began to overflow. I hung up the phone and stormed out of the house. 

I walked out onto the patio to confront my father. This is something I never do. 

I said, “What are you doing, talking shit about me?” I was very angry. I do not recall what he said next, but he was very angry too. He stood up and came at me. My mother, who is complicit in the abuse, went inside as my aunt watched the ordeal. He grabbed me by the arms and dragged me down the patio towards the driveway. 

“You need to leave,” he snarled, “get the fuck out. Nobody wants you here.” I told him to let go of me but he didn’t. I had bruises on my arms the next day, which I photographed. I included this assault in the police report I filed against him a month later for domestic violence. He said, “You do realize my mother just died today?” I told him that my grandmother died today as well. I told him to let go of me. Things were about to go from bad to worse. But then my aunt quickly stood up and started walking towards us. My father let go of me and walked away. 

After that happened I had a great discussion with my aunt about the abuse I was putting up with. To this day, she my only family member to acknowledge that I am being abused. Next I tried talking to my mother about it. I repeatedly told her that she was complicit and that it needs to end. She said that I provoked him. I take it that she was implying that I deserved it. She was far too drunk for me to reason with, so I dropped the subject and went to bed. 

I am still living under my parent’s roof and the things I have dealt with have consumed me and taken over my life. I have no job, no money, no car, no driver’s license, no friends, and nowhere to go to escape. I rarely leave my room, and I rarely leave my house. This is due in part to the fact that there was a false imprisonment scenario many years ago, where I was being held against my will by my father and forbidden to leave my home. I spent many years in isolation completely cut off from the outside world. I have become quiet and reclusive because of this. My father has not assaulted me since that day, which may be because he is aware that I now own pepper spray. Because he cannot physically abuse me, he has escalated every other form of abuse. I am so torn up inside. I don’t even have anyone to talk to right now, so I am reaching out to all of you on here, 

TLDR: what are some good ways to overcome great feelings of loss in addition to being assaulted by my father the same day my grandmother died?

To those that read this, thank you and my heart goes out to all of you who are also struggling. Much love to all of you and take care of yourselves, because you are worth it. 

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mentalhealth,giantoof,2019/01/11,"How can I help someone with no self worth Hello all, to give some background 

I have had mental health struggles that I am getting better with, but my friend is having some very strong feelings about hating herself and having no self worth. I told her how much I care about her (as a friend ofc) and that I’m here if she ever needs anything. How else can I help her in this situation? She said she “cares more about me than she does about herself” ",4.689810606060603,5.634468965909092,4.343636363636366,90.0437878787879,69.56818181818181,6.321212121212121,24.89393939393939,5.46131890053228,0.4481757575757572,351,9,72,1,6,106,60,88,0.097,0.603,0.301,0.973,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,9,8,1,1,1,0,8,1,0,3,2,15,18,8,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,17,6,10,15,5,2,0,0,0,0,19,1,0,3,1,55,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644226667870031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813462664640316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876545136380332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636434626650104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15881041446064906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719631092420054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612405941382683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937531515418052,0.0,0.09932331751919636,0.18236842790900076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18769178903957592,0.0,0.2020753728394792,0.0,0.0,0.2548500875106987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158363691629224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397508797489865,0.1409622955473507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180835757879938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966471475093675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136887847938556,0.0,0.0,0.16107745998977185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987416260927278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816558542885102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685858953524778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sage414,2019/01/11,"A unique problem that I am too afraid to speak to anyone about. I have been too scared to talk about this to anyone, even though it's been going on for years and seems to be getting continuously worse. 
  I am a 19 year old girl, and I think I have what might be a little bit of a stalking problem. I have never caused harm to anyone, or broken the law, but sometimes I feel close. It starts with repeated, intrusive thoughts about one person. This person can be anyone. Thankfully, a lot of times it's a famous person who I can only have contact with via social media. But sometimes it happens with people that are involved in my life, and when it does, it's much scarier. The thoughts turn into trying to ask them personal questions whilst trying to not scare them off. I will follow said person everywhere I can; I will talk to their friends, follow them on social media...And sometimes I will obsess on their social media for hours. When it's at it's worst, I will use any means I can find to find the people that are closest to them. Not as in showing up to their homes or anything, usually just trying to get as much information as possible without breaking the law. But I will waste hours and hours in my life doing this. Sometimes, it's all I can think about. If i do manage to find something that upsets me, i.e this person has a girlfriend/boyfriend/etc, instead of going away it just makes my obsession worse and bitter.Suddenly the thought of what said person would think about me controls my whole life and emotions. I am scared that one day I will resort to breaking the law(going on someone's property,mail,etc.). I have harmed myself over people who have hardly spoken to me other than light conversation.I try to distract myself. I am aware that my behavior is fucking insane. The thoughts refuse to go away. From what I've researched this could be a symptom of OCD or BPD, but a rare one, which is why I'm so scared of sharing this. I am terrified if I were to tell a therapist this they would be put me in a hospital. I cannot ever imagine actually hurting someone. Coping methods? If anyone out there DOES experience a similar thing, have you told a therapist and how did they react?  ",5.442579831932771,6.3227181176470575,5.794584033613447,80.55298529411766,67.82352941176471,8.14201680672269,29.76680672268908,8.192908349453996,2.086786554621849,1740,62,321,22,28,557,205,425,0.147,0.812,0.041,-0.9926,0,0,2,0,0,0,55.0,0,1,9,1,18,19,1,9,20,0,44,5,0,6,3,63,73,25,0,8,15,0,2,0,1,9,4,3,1,8,31,13,0,2,16,1,0,6,5,16,0,3,11,6,45,3,57,47,7,44,0,1,0,1,38,19,1,10,17,239,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.06453486771558999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044971731856375055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23120363894635745,0.0,0.05442064310961533,0.0,0.061824086043983165,0.0,0.1242655642178424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219854090774673,0.0,0.08329039090263762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793533389457235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417217327750415,0.05280067337051342,0.0,0.0,0.0426493884102425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574435613270714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438910940814925,0.0,0.0,0.1475083518289486,0.043679274891871685,0.059819786524181774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468936009063121,0.0,0.0,0.03343810622707854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813291566376442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109308296847205,0.061137566088107526,0.0691020263248476,0.0,0.15033636926178487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847992440751588,0.0,0.05924089255616007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633535159808561,0.0,0.1953788106089716,0.0,0.0707952079538344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013204002119806,0.0,0.0662812013804646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056222691561317824,0.0,0.0,0.04414333306758817,0.0,0.0,0.07203666127085041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015513963751907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722861874271006,0.0,0.05100473970575481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939395279950301,0.0,0.13443737955318394,0.05029603508248528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375419010110619,0.4042047213889309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455340293538834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655795262629674,0.0,0.06648048835038077,0.07408248756872496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581252432570128,0.0,0.2648369326996339,0.0,0.0,0.06020369292547172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022384067074206,0.11206612061061634,0.05091130952922646,0.2616232345259686,0.0,0.04680826198893809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873601721896246,0.0,0.10630809363910684,0.05780190255896255,0.06088505987199577,0.0,0.1535676877970022,0.043934873171922434,0.1271233094703445,0.0649739267118383,0.2100043021422016,0.03856184728889895,0.0,0.0,0.0631915442347222,0.0,0.17959596621437934,0.071932152416521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711643898500522,0.0728345757019902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967345118399934,0.07383353047774571,0.0,0.06374846861972969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478742875072364,0.09395593254600354,0.0,0.0,0.0851731191294286
mentalhealth,Scorpion1386,2019/01/11,What’s the criteria for people getting back on SSDI if they relapse for mental health? Anyone know? I suffer from bipolar depression and eventually want to go back to work. I don’t want to be on SSDI forever. Is there a criteria to when you’re out of the SSDI system? How many years does it take for being in work before the government decided tto take you out of the system for SSDI?,3.8672807017543844,5.537495026315792,5.807894736842107,75.98359649122811,72.42105263157895,8.750877192982456,25.824561403508767,9.2995712137729,2.4082614035087726,306,10,54,7,6,106,53,76,0.106,0.86,0.034,-0.8205,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,2,5,2,0,0,5,0,4,2,0,1,0,9,11,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,16,9,0,12,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,1,4,38,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757686036532465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865867058541916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139032640745495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165105930323955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21998165719733948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133407774289382,0.0,0.14286330993677407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672019359532077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381501940356364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548567654694158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25332883449213905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17427312126732625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780083544296589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965372683773382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660108174079967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187850985386865
mentalhealth,Bad_Wulph,2019/01/11,"Parents getting in my way of receiving treatment I've been seeing my PCP for panic attacks and general pain (which is caused by a combination of scoliosis and anxiety). The scoliosis causes pain in my back, left shoulder, left arm, and chest, which sets off my anxiety. The location of the pain itself always makes me think of a heart attack, and the anxiety symptoms that follow (paired with and amplifying the scoliosis pain) make that fear feel much more real, which often sends me into a panic attack. It's an awful combination.

 I've been cleared as healthy, I know I'm healthy in my logical, conscious mind, but my lizard brain is much harder to convince. The panic attacks and patterns of irrational thinking and fear happen anyway, and I feel helpless. Today my PCP asked me if I'd be open to the idea of cognitive behavioral therapy. I enthusiastically said I would love it, but then remembered it's out of the question for me. I explained to him that I am a pre-dental student who is in school too much to work, so I do not have the means to seek treatment on my own. All treatment I receive is through my parents, and they don't want me to receive CBT.

The first time I mentioned CBT to them, my father said that's for schizophrenics and crazy people, and my mother said she doesn't want anyone ""brainwashing"" me. My mother would rather I take herbal supplements (unregulated by the FDA, I refuse them because I do not trust them) or talk to a church official for ""Christian counseling"" (basically to pray the anxiety away). Now please, don't go bashing my parents, that isn't what I'm here for. But for some reason, they attach some stigma to CBT and dismiss it as a treatment option.

How can I present CBT to them as a safe, reliable, effective, and perfectly normal treatment option? I really want treatment, I really want to get better. Would it be okay to ask my PCP to advocate for CBT on my behalf? School is only going to get harder and harder, I want to be able to manage this before it gets too bad.",6.552777145458684,6.9838419581151845,7.166448895970862,73.26460846801731,65.282722513089,9.994263601183704,33.62440245845664,9.867487886160001,3.3158744366036874,1596,65,282,32,23,527,192,382,0.16,0.735,0.106,-0.9114,3,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,0,6,5,10,22,4,5,20,2,22,12,5,7,3,67,54,25,0,11,8,6,2,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,18,18,0,2,14,0,0,7,6,15,0,1,5,6,45,7,48,43,8,29,3,1,1,1,30,13,0,8,7,194,63,5,0.07881115710980738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557719614552288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411612778935182,0.0,0.0,0.055106593501852576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735558634696874,0.3586362750418281,0.07404567640931246,0.06060091509503695,0.06580402424245747,0.04804254987542502,0.0,0.06706248998444443,0.0,0.0,0.06970206394287501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797931574909262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192153576827628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773689251089046,0.07969857809006656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670367299769039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470230711728534,0.0,0.0895803935786637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969244595435932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339160063604852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896820344995884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043312550857732536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125710559627846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113014628461081,0.0,0.10521411869892168,0.0,0.0,0.08584845437498556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957680214545948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738058058110056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721820077455321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05993943634876121,0.33544251105825384,0.27740373616785,0.26253138989642233,0.0,0.0,0.05463773308982662,0.0,0.0,0.08651098396026592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828653274360783,0.0,0.0,0.08970435074904565,0.10097689063911193,0.08103099548856313,0.0,0.0,0.0892776776885102,0.0,0.22490237395442567,0.0,0.0,0.15952219704398785,0.06280228850160803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191496849019164,0.059256181977055476,0.06334542277129064,0.0,0.0,0.09012742661551304,0.0,0.0,0.10099801444183178,0.0,0.0,0.04595541949326549,0.0,0.07470376179337404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324243119501779,0.06255662815635661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737546101229075,0.0,0.0,0.1679555544247307,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ErinandtheTIGERSf,2019/01/11,"Question about being depressed Is it normal to feel depressed but not suicidal? Like every day, I regret something I did in the past and I beat myself over it, yet I never wanted to end it all, the thought of death scares me. ",4.850378787878785,5.834918431818185,5.416363636363638,82.35287878787881,69.22727272727272,6.775757575757575,28.303030303030305,6.42735559955562,1.4074939393939396,177,6,32,1,3,57,36,44,0.335,0.579,0.086,-0.9221,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,11,6,2,2,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,1,6,1,6,3,1,7,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,6,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982047038488055,0.0,0.4803068993741892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469581295410801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349239328133535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098340479576124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362208806504412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21504871763986624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27319144502418835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661721022656217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123502647623181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791546584165094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21465479268765209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049916897529721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22135764310860695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644595004895443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PatheticThrowaway420,2019/01/11,"I don't know what to do Hey all. Throwaway account here, hoping for advice.

I am a 29 years old. I've struggled with anxiety since a traumatic experience when I was a child. I have allowed it to dictate my life and for the most part kill my potential. I dropped out of college when I was 19 because I could not do it. There were so many people and so much pressure and I could not handle it. I dropped out and moved to a new state where I started delivering for Dominoes. The Dominoes job was a blessing and a curse. My anxiety is such that when I have a stable job surrounded by people I know, I can be fine and healthy. Sure when a new hire came around I would slam my walls back up, but gradually they'd lower, and I could cope with such small changes. So my life was going no where, but at least I was supporting myself and was for the most part, happy.

That went on for a few years. My younger brother graduated college, my parents were pursuing new things, and I was still doing a job that a monkey could be trained to do. Eventually, my glorious state legalized cannabis. I had used the stuff a few times, but had never really gotten into it. Alcohol was always my drug of choice. Over time, I started using cannabis (in the form of edibles) and really started to enjoy them. But what was more amazing, was that after a night of taking a few edibles I would notice that I was damn near immune to the anxiety the following day.

That was huge. With some pressure from my brother and my own new found willingness to give my nightmare (college) another try, I enrolled. And honestly, it was great. With weed keeping my anxiety down I could actually focus on school. I kept that up for a couple years.  I am 2 semesters off graduating and my GPA is higher than it has ever been.

Of course, anybody who has used weed (or most drugs) knows that tolerance is a bitch. I won't go over my entire tolerance timeline, but I will give the start and end point. My first time taking an edible was 5mg THC and it fucked me up for a few hours. Last night I took 150mg of THC. 

Now, the anxiety is not kept at bay. In fact it bites harder than ever. For the last month or so, my stomach has dropped 50+ times a day. I almost always wake up before my alarm so that my body can express its anxiety and ruin my sleep. Thinking about anything remotely stressful seems to trigger me 3 times harder. I don't get hungry and tired anymore on my own, because weed has taken over as the play caller. My secret weapon (thc), which resulted in the best 2 years of my life, is now a liability.

So when my current vial of oil runs out in a couple days, I will stop. And frankly, I am terrified. I am terrified to see how it will affect my grades, I am terrified to spend all night staring at the ceiling, I am terrified to feeling starving one minute and nauseous the next. I am terrified because anxiety has ran almost my entire life, and I am giving it the reins again.",3.8982292871674176,5.173269509433965,5.0599385695480485,82.93386573058363,71.7444253859348,8.236291834536678,28.995532330767087,8.70740988407696,2.191680793011288,2296,90,457,41,43,759,273,583,0.16399999999999998,0.721,0.115,-0.9844,7,0,3,0,0,0,75.0,0,0,2,2,27,24,5,5,36,0,61,14,4,8,7,82,97,40,1,8,10,3,1,0,0,6,9,0,0,1,26,30,1,5,8,1,2,9,8,11,0,2,28,4,68,12,63,55,19,93,1,1,2,1,15,32,3,10,47,331,94,13,0.0,0.0,0.06589738998423178,0.0,0.0,0.06598738280662579,0.0,0.07216667969860943,0.13523867093720238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237707518590084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080878420867352,0.3616100652263984,0.0,0.0669694304958407,0.0,0.0,0.055569624129262564,0.060114057070632027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051924708528685,0.0,0.12349295693030996,0.0,0.05746118256117416,0.0,0.07086625801556096,0.0,0.0,0.07500816068296062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772338114633252,0.0,0.0,0.07143545656733477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26957726014569816,0.14943644848891052,0.0,0.13064953009796518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566216143745315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05980958584110008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216551891699995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605514415105751,0.0,0.0,0.034144083723714795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743911060267087,0.0,0.07404074519518396,0.0,0.06242836125348573,0.03528048742191105,0.1943364515312432,0.07675520772520376,0.0,0.0,0.07444963584520625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188459679605938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707034028329456,0.06650127873041516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20103275983611488,0.060021809703177775,0.07470950356804333,0.0,0.1113345355624404,0.11008833660115673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907875234466898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684625884085836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390004422386803,0.07177136265118418,0.049640701482128825,0.0,0.052081600883523683,0.2608750729500863,0.07181657940978071,0.19011079229223496,0.0,0.0,0.07688084575546766,0.07085906475131007,0.0,0.04575858365391428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749816284601435,0.1462520497029699,0.0,0.09363054537734798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383559615710922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652007327523326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834173685640342,0.05381091226537352,0.061474771261402224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585969243576018,0.0,0.06757656590984516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911860923532349,0.0,0.053927786825111165,0.056456262941037214,0.07735286461861221,0.0705947164745023,0.0773031729879984,0.0,0.07662974509049868,0.06364415058981274,0.0,0.10154500052865734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04486246851976623,0.043269086396168346,0.0,0.0,0.19688001070273312,0.07761327022339028,0.0,0.0,0.07502586840526287,0.04584694229707415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496700872896767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259894540934201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593962066525584,0.0,0.0,0.17394275206949886
mentalhealth,mthrowawayasdfghjkl,2019/01/12,"Don’t know if this is worth going to the doctors about? Hi, I’m 15 and I haven’t been diagnosed with any sort of mental illness, and I don’t want to be self-diagnosing myself since that isn’t a healthy thing to do. For a little less than a year now I’ve always been having to reassure myself over and over, every single day and every hour, that “I’m not dead, I’m not dying, I’m never going to die”.  This sort of all stemmed from me always being anxious about death, and so I went to my guidance counsellor about something unrelated to this and she told me about something called a self-fulfilling prophecy, where if you think something will happen it will.  I took it the wrong way and thought as a way to deal with my anxiety I’d just tell myself that “I’m not dead, I’m not dying, I’m never going to die”. Which I also understand isn’t in the case because I know at some point we all do, since it’s inevitable. But I really just can’t stop having to reassure myself and it’s become extremely tiring for awhile now. I haven’t been to the doctors despite wanting to mainly because I’m afraid. I’m so scared that there isn’t anything wrong with me at all and I’d feel embarrassed, and not only that, I won’t have an explanation to why I’ve had to keep reassuring myself or feeling anxious over death for so long. I don’t know, I feel like I have OCD magical thinking, but again I don’t want to self-diagnose myself and I talked to a teacher about this and she told me I was just “quirky” lol. I just feel so tired and unhappy every single day having to constantly reassure myself over something I know is stupid, but I still have to do it. I hate how it’s so hard for me to have a conversation with people because I have to pause and reassure myself over and over. I have to keep reassuring myself in multiples of 3 or 5 over and over until it feels right, which I hate having to do. I just feel bad because not only do I have to reassure myself, I have to ask my friends to reassure me too and tell me that “I’m not dead, I’m not dying, I’m never going to die” which I hate having to do because I’m sure it gets tiring for them as well. I just want to feel happy and not have to worry about this all the time. I just don’t know if this is worth going to the doctors about, because my parents tell me I’m fine, and my teacher told me that she’s seen a lot of teenagers with mental health issues and she also thinks I’m fine. So I guess I’m just afraid they’re right and it’ll be embarrassing if I go to the doctors and nothing will be wrong with me, because I also think if there is something wrong with me, maybe I’d want to go to the doctors despite what they say but I’m not putting in any effort to get help? ",5.979289245237522,4.6046704073426605,6.893672534362192,80.76919580419579,66.95454545454545,9.707836990595613,30.91294911984567,8.53829466247534,2.123889848082952,2131,64,460,26,29,717,192,572,0.118,0.741,0.141,0.7034,1,0,5,0,0,0,44.0,1,1,2,1,34,29,4,5,17,1,49,11,0,1,8,99,112,46,11,10,29,1,8,1,1,5,11,1,0,0,27,30,0,3,18,0,2,10,25,14,1,0,12,10,65,15,75,91,10,46,0,0,1,0,32,18,0,12,17,315,92,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677364588255922,0.09487447917837938,0.0,0.0,0.07753808627311419,0.0,0.04361281814216077,0.12881110298366727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691472116248446,0.0,0.05329705038650027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0476013225236898,0.24327117626394704,0.06296353397606247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05821401682001099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061608014774812314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353401395815172,0.05877524359093553,0.0,0.1735931402096334,0.35500691454920097,0.0,0.0,0.2917629223522093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410122260518946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20178328261935333,0.04072825813484643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044046111986758785,0.0,0.059571186806134775,0.0,0.2268023634525712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280340919826682,0.0,0.050414129462888105,0.060688656211169936,0.051070141712417486,0.168857971714848,0.0,0.0605994145433844,0.0,0.0,0.038212885327066924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561437835413246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595040706461944,0.0,0.1013469682408542,0.0,0.0,0.15665718977201934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027852413347884027,0.05713942179653445,0.0,0.05045243102593254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04846822357998845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727463340202357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490619633736422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319098601852686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054703039190085866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671799253531502,0.0,0.0,0.06330332887143326,0.0,0.0,0.039523849562593055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053893277863196636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05731122227684304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036522337304489866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737318080542108,0.0,0.04533697721536435,0.05707737974588412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17842291652084316,0.0,0.0,0.0943192233494277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944704748983265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045528598068701166,0.04766326703224751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373164971565661,0.0,0.0,0.04582281911248474,0.14948886964195193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03787519232395248,0.14611991029557653,0.0,0.04525990834984625,0.03324323656787799,0.19657528666573149,0.0,0.16342770913019536,0.06334067849763715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05934986172855657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813112515311313,0.09050444154884893,0.0,0.0,0.05125921764882226,0.05284923400081741,0.05144304005120835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05789685269358213,0.0,0.0,0.2493277949992571,0.0,0.036712843749821485
mentalhealth,1dynamichuman,2019/01/12,"Is my reaction normal? Sometimes people, specifically my mother in lae at this time, violate my boundaries because I dont make them clear or reinforce them, i state them once and then get silent. I start seething and becoming distant, really I just start doing my own thing and not really engaging with that person to any significant level. I then also double down on my boundaries so I dont want that person even lightly touching it, because I feel on high alert and im afraid it will happen again. Is this normal? Whats going on with me?",4.13872549019608,6.433806401960787,5.257450980392161,77.55519607843141,73.21568627450979,8.062745098039215,27.01960784313725,8.841846274778883,2.4215019607843145,431,16,73,9,9,142,70,102,0.098,0.861,0.041,-0.6885,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,0,5,3,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,15,14,9,0,3,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,3,16,1,9,13,2,16,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,1,6,54,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501714047254175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770007621225846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289436934789749,0.20739351391818575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4401646803388423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403006293824775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494961695557236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810978656866663,0.0,0.10672240660820086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605744309729678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198404909036351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028397648241481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253477854710418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679783886360769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998464076600606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130186308276093,0.3279328184683329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24059945151627204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572392928163245,0.0,0.2658300392984938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247558504161782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094988036797121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076031678202514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Evanescentarianism,2019/01/12,"Recently been feeling off? I'm not quite sure if this is in the right subreddit or not - I don't post on reddit often (or all). Recently I've been feeling really off, even moreso than usual. I have really bad anxiety and although it's annoying, it doesn't really hinder me much (I can still go on with my day), but recently, I've been feeling worse than usual?? It usually starts with me sitting in class or just standing somewhere, and all of a sudden I'll just feel as if I'm not there. I guess it's similar to spacing out, but I start feeling as if a weight is pushing me down at the same time. I wouldn't really call it disassociating, but it's similar to such. I feel as if I'm not in my own body, but at the same time I know I'm still there. If anybody could tell me what's up with this or maybe just point me in the right direction to go, I'd appreciate it a lot!",4.189685503685503,3.925245708108108,6.213415233415238,80.47049140049144,70.29729729729729,10.186732186732186,29.25061425061425,10.018931242160765,2.5539729729729728,676,23,151,16,11,239,94,185,0.07200000000000001,0.873,0.056,-0.5799,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,11,3,1,0,7,0,11,2,1,0,3,43,27,19,0,7,20,0,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,10,6,1,0,7,0,0,3,7,2,0,0,3,7,15,1,25,22,7,37,0,0,0,0,2,17,0,12,14,105,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751873614323213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064370753599417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159701882069636,0.0,0.0,0.13016717533830682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177915584364793,0.0,0.0,0.08221142785778329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419664831092888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.386733957075198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489501534092486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042910665707753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005743634598753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083754755590738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806670378938195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370947478297938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050595599449103,0.0,0.12208670159835062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558634094504965,0.0,0.0,0.3266573752075552,0.0,0.3776013008112043,0.0,0.0,0.2177274923037256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045623616622092,0.0,0.20360488182903586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014455369707705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141957996114088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866447771583166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42119017569112976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523133831220576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990886139196126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,foryforester,2019/01/12,"What do I do now For the longest time, I've been fighting this want for love, affection, and acceptance. I remember in kindergarten, being abandoned by my mom a lot. I was left home often, one time that led to a fire in the kitchen and having to move apartments. And other times of just crying for my mother to comfort me but her laughing at me and ignoring me. I have these distinct memories of being unwanted from my mother. 

Fast forward a bit to later elementary and junior high, it was common occurrence for me to wait hours for NY mother to pick me up. I would wait in the school office other times outside on the bench by myself. I waited in the junior bathroom for hours or underneath a desk at church, waiting for her to remember. There was a time my principal had to take me home because they could never get in contact with my mother (who has always been a stay at home mom). 

In high school, I got berated by my brother a lot. A lot of physical abuse (I'm a female, 2 years younger than him). Him punching and kicking me escalated his high school senior year.

Needing to prepare for a standardized test, I needed my computer (that he often took to play video games on without permission because he broke his) so I went into his room to look for it. He had hid it from me and refused to give it to me. When I refused to leave, he pulled my hair into the hallway and threw me to the ground, plummetting me with kicks and punches. I just sat there on the ground, embracing myself for each hit. My mother never comforted me nor reprimanded him, she actually watched most of it happen. Later when she came into my room, she laughed at me. I wanted to die then. I called the suicide hotline; I believed this was my end. 

That was nearly three years ago, but tonight I had a trigger and the memories flooded back. I don't know how to navigate my family. I don't want to be dependent on them whatsoever anymore. I wanted to make amends and have been trying really hard to this year, but it's not going anywhere after what happened tonight. What do I do? Do I cut all ties and move on? ",4.002189278937383,5.484958262254903,5.1605502846299816,81.50570208728655,71.76960784313725,8.009614168247943,29.09266287160025,8.558390810932622,2.243263820366856,1633,65,309,28,31,540,206,408,0.122,0.8240000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9824,0,0,0,0,3,1,50.0,0,0,2,0,12,12,2,0,21,0,27,3,1,7,4,66,55,22,2,9,8,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,19,19,1,8,4,3,0,10,7,5,0,2,17,5,60,7,65,32,7,69,1,2,2,1,34,31,0,8,29,233,79,9,0.0,0.11104967287589364,0.09146279976934417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308221126949787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798732187156446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295074681370168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206930684776859,0.0,0.11426867938516636,0.0,0.0,0.10559681070513714,0.0,0.0,0.10232423067458782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570445722591032,0.10719727496011147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483237491795733,0.0,0.10295332170042404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727251821333772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830131842153522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835628400513322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896782949381229,0.08991026786007826,0.053266496572205405,0.0,0.07496103434479165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576272040049095,0.0,0.08395985125281921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970791629322595,0.28204367014046244,0.0,0.1846019437911192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05150921422935992,0.0,0.0,0.09924202315977787,0.10183328810895882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870601412964348,0.0,0.0,0.2390468112569244,0.08459113745515229,0.0,0.06256265762108218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21954090214085228,0.0,0.19923125249449194,0.0,0.1389928936291313,0.14457413364676394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635109854194256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004310747280879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21234597985522394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845663506012364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998991656447455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025207446001629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047009034161224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732611565010277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413274305877228,0.06363362349187666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22112747347857384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688469772652256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034826640793013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665800748478265,0.0,0.0,0.2414252083074625
mentalhealth,An1coleC,2019/01/12,"I just feel alone a lot I don't have a huge group of friends, just 3 or so, and we don't see each other too often.

My fiance went to a friends house tonight and before he left we had a fight.

Don't know what the point of this was, just feeling a little extra lonely/depressed tonight. ",5.800765027322407,4.046494868852459,5.880983606557376,89.11469945355194,67.52459016393442,8.133333333333333,30.169398907103826,3.1291,1.0129300546448081,221,6,52,0,3,70,45,61,0.115,0.7509999999999999,0.134,0.2819,0,3,0,0,1,0,7.0,2,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,14,11,4,0,0,4,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,3,5,2,3,8,3,7,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,3,2,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886076056248091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371190413063517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400093541098032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817976253875977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43058387806027576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215360983646268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314418743324906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30276478479482005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792904154022713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23690667269381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634236659831782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220558533511121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25832050891833425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brokenmindfulness,2019/01/12,"Very happily breaking up with the old me. Ready to start an entirely new relationship with myself and others. This last week and a half has been hell.  I started hitting my mental health journey really hard — choosing to do it during my last trimester of pregnancy is absolutely ridiculous but I guess when it’s right, it’s right. I started by seeing a woman who acted almost like a hub for psych resources. After I pretty much vomited my whole past to her and every issue I think I have, she was really helpful and worked with me to develop a few first steps...

Step 1) Get back into counseling and start a more honest routine

Step 2) Wait 13 more weeks, until after I’ve given birth, to get back on my meds that worked and to start investigating whether or not I have 
        • CPTSD/PTSD
        • Bipolar, I think type 2? 
        • Major depression
        • Some yet undefined anxiety disorder.

They also want to monitor me a lot for postpartum, just in case.

Ok, so... Good. I have a plan.
I also feel like a complete freak. I know that prior to my pregnancy we had just started navigating through whether or not my ADD survived into adulthood. We started Strattera, it completely changed everything for 3 months (I was *free!*), then I stopped taking it when we found out about Baby Willow... I’ve just been waiting around for March to come so I can resume loving my life again, no pregnancy and no major mental health issues... Just a happy family and a happy life that I get to look forward to. This is great!

Except... Once I started going back to counseling, we agreed (and I do think it’s really wise) to do group sessions 3x a week and a 1 on 1 session every Monday at 3. So, this looks like:
        
      Monday @ 3: 1/1
      Tuesday @ 1: DBT group
      Wednesday: Women’s group
      Thursday: Mindfulness

Each session is an hour so it’s 4 hours/week of really hitting it. The downside: since I started, I cannot relax. I’m so damn anxious; I’m having these really constant anxiety attacks that come over me at the weirdest times. I can’t enjoy anything and that makes me even more anxious, like I’m a big burden to try to entertain or to get to snap out of it. My poor boyfriend... he’s been so above and beyond during all of this. He’s so positive and ready to help me. This just seems so stupid, why can I not refocus and try to see the positive in anything? For me, for him, for our son and for the baby we’re expecting, I am so done being this sadness junky. That’s the best way I can put it, it’s like I thrive on sadness and depression...

My brain is 24/7 worry, panic, sadness, anger. On the outside I’m so bubbly and trying to help others, trying to appear really upbeat and like nothing is wrong but I sincerely think that people can see through it way better than I think they can. They definitely can when I crack and it all comes pouring out of me... then the jig is up and I let my mask fall off. It’s everything in me that does *not* want to be this person. But, time and time again, that’s just who I am.

In my head, I’m replaying everything that I’ve ever done wrong, all the people I’ve ever pissed off, convincing myself that I’m the worst partner and I’m going to be too much for my kids to want a relationship with... the other alternative is constantly replaying the stuff others have done to me and being mad as hell at them. It just doesn’t stop.

I know why I do this, I mean I’ve been writing that list up for myself, mentally, for years. And it’s so weird, it’s like somehow in all of this I finally just saw it for the first time and understood why I’m this extremely negative person to be around and why I completely flip out every time I’m slightly stressed. 

I am a *sadness junky* so wrapped up in having to feel depressed in order to feel like life is normal. I think it’s easier for me to believe that I’m going to live and die this way than it is to *get real* and realize that I’m a freaking badass who survived through *a lot* of bad crap that nobody should have to go through. I don’t want to be this person at all anymore. I want to be the person who sees somebody else who’s like the current me, and can teach them and show them that they’re just as capable of moving mountains and reaching their goals. I want to *smash life* and watch myself turn into this supernova person I know I am on the inside. If I die tomorrow and this is the way I let myself spend my final years... just, no way. I couldn’t rest easy, this is probably my new biggest fear.

I think I’m really ready to do this right. It took me almost until I reached 30 to do it, and I’m really mad at myself for letting that much time go by, but if I get just 20 more years of happiness, surrounded by my family, watching everything go up and up from here... I’ll pick that over watching another 20 years go by without ever tackling anything on my bucket list because I was too damn afraid to let myself do it, for fear that I may actually have to learn how to be happy and healthy. 

I don’t know why I felt so determined to write this here. I know this isn’t a blog or my personal soap box, but maybe somebody else needed to see someone going through what they’re going through. Maybe somebody else can tell me that they made it and that it’s just as possible as my mind is set to believe it is, at this moment at least. I’m thinking of writing about this journey more, like a record of the before and after. Wouldn’t it be cool if, by the time Willow is here, I could tell you all that the positive won and my life wasn’t lived for nothing?

I think it would be the greatest gift to be able to at least say that to my anxious, depressed, angry, critical self. I am so ready to live. I am so ready to conquer this and let the real me shine out. I’m ready to show people who I truly am and that they made the right decision by not giving up on me. I want to leave something really good behind, and to say that I did it because I chose to be strong in my weakest moments — even when I felt like a freak, and a stranger to myself. I want this, I need this, and, damnit, I’m really going to do this. Wish me luck!


PS: For the love of god, can somebody please help me come up with a middle name for Willow?! Help me solve some of my anxiety (haha!) because we can’t think of a single name that seems right! 

Thank you for reading, and may your own journey be blessed with easier answers. I’m always here to talk to anyone who’s stuck in a mental rut like me.",2.577222646958888,4.259262319444447,4.1157370596896605,86.73202089704384,75.88271604938271,7.1016423150979735,24.62138973836221,7.8993208130761206,1.3178074753652742,4970,165,1023,76,109,1655,445,1296,0.146,0.67,0.184,0.9953,1,0,1,0,0,0,183.0,6,3,9,13,57,73,12,5,50,3,92,15,4,5,9,192,201,89,2,21,33,1,6,12,1,5,9,2,0,11,93,72,0,4,30,6,3,27,20,34,0,3,24,21,134,40,171,150,31,162,3,8,12,2,65,57,6,21,84,694,227,11,0.0363709655131204,0.0,0.035492815765954984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284053637261352,0.0,0.0,0.05817169596074895,0.03026355692421547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03813812858340948,0.08347106719748014,0.1232665153382648,0.03607022461904128,0.02543142475384376,0.0,0.08979061683058595,0.06475574079831044,0.0,0.0413772239542372,0.0,0.08390108230161399,0.030368236987211125,0.06651420898110402,0.0,0.030949012803476287,0.08195524644514672,0.03816908439576732,0.032167163341193274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040602026113127306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03847565889495752,0.12532146513670014,0.11440279606179035,0.07860818539493303,0.0,0.02903925642982725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530503720621106,0.0,0.07549463993543026,0.0,0.041684277510713935,0.0,0.03182847702014306,0.1116603763482926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114982399755876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04804535939734145,0.0986988617510702,0.09193232133505112,0.0,0.13075151435919194,0.0,0.06857461870546619,0.0818548958651493,0.05517075896601365,0.0519668500596715,0.06984366124328753,0.07968522984174835,0.0,0.06187424937068774,0.0,0.03987888638708604,0.0,0.0,0.1140139699461797,0.03489034427847259,0.20670457870335487,0.06101248052726914,0.0,0.040099117879003034,0.04006671901161128,0.0,0.0,0.15487027641628906,0.03258124111407425,0.0,0.03732710364026609,0.07732127111484699,0.0,0.0,0.12189345758197838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03581807465733974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592367704439625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999426573154468,0.05929438252258944,0.0,0.0385116009255518,0.0,0.18595888222735665,0.12844944279577142,0.2132281989753608,0.0,0.09634868668518977,0.0,0.061084901538568236,0.0,0.0,0.061842588482439925,0.06565243278578509,0.06883017396334026,0.02427790190518362,0.0,0.07307904689592085,0.03961864395769333,0.040399943437828184,0.0,0.14661351477936208,0.0,0.07344861394292973,0.0,0.02903095767332121,0.03865658036622645,0.08021053364721542,0.0539372201462963,0.0,0.07025461026880622,0.0,0.0,0.035635823915685004,0.0697978446804068,0.0,0.03816521005107973,0.03873389125157016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04267349146734824,0.0,0.0,0.034720202042803974,0.07564514386546932,0.19054634515510926,0.0,0.039924398137448365,0.0,0.04100279877805517,0.0,0.03700234752497328,0.03921405240371293,0.0,0.04251571234489824,0.03656286606876807,0.0,0.0,0.036380808012925904,0.08279624274325971,0.2330017183950369,0.0,0.0,0.07809761101444808,0.0,0.15530302910312765,0.0,0.057847303199392415,0.0,0.0,0.14491475274588864,0.06622152201042471,0.037942849243021035,0.0,0.0,0.030086438519640223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030817001051022707,0.028000146176604318,0.0,0.0,0.2316920093146688,0.0,0.0,0.06081551150599505,0.041662818110614216,0.0,0.041636053835262685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027346439643359508,0.029233604371758905,0.0635796539473292,0.03348549845115505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330504610558736,0.0,0.0,0.1484574173478009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04040948094645271,0.09877399252211927,0.039561166292611985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030009855623975037,0.1716203023908896,0.1443478974761054,0.11669837868722042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409569616896774,0.04060688411333939,0.04182481537820657,0.035060312853717024,0.0,0.05295699213932049,0.03693648096725331,0.0,0.025836890366540587,0.07953188235755469,0.0,0.09368683728601666
mentalhealth,lefthanded86,2019/01/12,"I don’t know what to do. It’s 8:00pm on a Saturday night and I’m awaiting my ambien you rock me a way. My wife and son are still up playing and watching television in the living room but I’m hoping to fall asleep soon because I’ve got to be back up again at 4:30am for work. Tomorrow will be my 14th day I’ve worked in a row averaging 11-12 hours a day. I’ve fought back tears all day around my son, all he has wanted since I got home was for me to hold him and sit on the floor with him to show me his LEGO set he built all by himself. He did an awesome job for a 5 yr old. I constantly fight the feeling that I’m not there for him as much as I should be. My schedule will straighten out late next week and I should be back on M-F (fingers crossed). I know he doesn’t understand why I have to work the way I do, but I hope that one day he will see I’ve done all of it for him to give him the best life he deserves. I do not want him turning out like me. I don’t know how to explain my story but I have never spoken aloud to anyone what was done to me when I was 7. Not even my wife knows. I’m now 33 and for some reason I’ve been having a harder and harder time with my past. I feel like there is a dark figure with a hand on my shoulder walking along beside me matching my footsteps. Some days I barley notice the presence, and others like today bring me to the verge of a breakdown. I have broken down to my wife in bed, but I always says it’s something it isn’t. I don’t know why I’m typing this out other than to vent or maybe seeing it in writing will help me. I’m not sure what I need to do to get a little bit of my sanity back. I know I couldn’t do life without my wife of 10 yrs. she keeps me happy, and suppresses my dark rider. I couldn’t do life without her. I know she’ll never see this, but A you have kept me happy and alive for 10 years and I owe my everything to you and our beautiful son. I’ve got to go now.",1.7501724910394252,2.315244048611113,3.6388201911589033,93.79465053763441,76.10648148148148,6.592712066905618,21.57437275985663,6.532088108194933,0.13022123655913953,1487,33,371,11,31,505,204,432,0.039,0.8240000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.9932,2,0,1,0,1,0,35.0,1,3,0,4,15,12,2,0,19,0,39,7,4,2,7,69,76,22,0,9,12,7,4,3,0,7,3,1,3,0,14,20,0,4,13,3,1,5,15,2,0,1,12,9,64,10,54,51,9,60,0,0,4,0,35,20,0,5,34,236,78,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667653539620406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443371957886775,0.0,0.0,0.08203341503880053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28343195406009736,0.0,0.056174043609188734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670618553006133,0.0,0.10060439705995497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958187210048516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297147002698492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18860375689619466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060864486446169735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281885985820685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318804711304107,0.06583228184327057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04814479355556133,0.08839908424357826,0.05237120998432046,0.0,0.22110333828645867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19619168132136752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06176648725234106,0.0,0.09243438949566724,0.1830523285024135,0.09074960607455383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144507750577466,0.08190753156080269,0.0,0.0,0.3545042444481958,0.0,0.10394969289115484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952657106066453,0.13506012848345098,0.09235893436976117,0.08137051331512472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257748750531562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774116514405239,0.06832837230727383,0.14214417689836814,0.0,0.09800302212953894,0.08647693117290903,0.0,0.0,0.1049138693297976,0.09669636938953564,0.0,0.06244351267223092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796800744753927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947459842592348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732817163965624,0.0,0.0,0.2202958732744599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622778359707677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094189902348846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359144822899559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685068475733704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373365371711383,0.0,0.08734782778251353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023320045117977,0.0,0.09593184200849954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087054160878631,0.1462894358110043,0.07391751229455197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630285048347174,0.0,0.0,0.17765944209809445,0.0,0.20125982014021165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593418522590425
mentalhealth,Daponage,2019/01/12,"I need help. So, i havent been to the doctor in years at this point, and ive recently turned 18, still in senior year, with a job i dont want, and since my one close friend left for basic i really dont have anybody to talk to. Ive been dealing with the symptoms of depression, (clincally diagonised so i cant say i have it, woo.) Ive talked to my parents about me dealing with this and they havent done shit. I was wondering if there were anything i cpuld do to get help with this, since i know at this point its not right and it needs to be fixed, ive only distracted myself for years and i just cant deal with this anymore.",1.2358706467661662,2.8750185820895524,2.9426119402985087,93.85456467661692,79.59701492537314,6.556218905472638,20.868159203980106,7.492282038375204,0.4548278606965175,486,13,115,7,12,161,77,134,0.059,0.8490000000000001,0.092,0.6372,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,6,4,1,1,3,0,19,3,1,0,0,19,26,8,0,4,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,8,11,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,5,1,19,1,19,20,0,15,0,1,0,0,11,9,1,2,6,77,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023037135060273,0.0,0.0,0.11635979236741276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43733022201489213,0.1217872364610403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472844439523375,0.0,0.14470084588091034,0.3314384696136181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924495165644182,0.0,0.07387543564241786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18955429307647154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031724801763987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770950193480469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363103898447875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20969196866995776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581600337283064,0.10754073940864643,0.0,0.0,0.15700748125806274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673365829220991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058418083322996,0.0,0.13961500994249865,0.0,0.0,0.12075445425149064,0.0,0.11244660790106993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514461950555868,0.23393435947715302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292187370581205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696828693573874,0.0,0.2273032253203261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380212069284813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340112582384875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533417944273093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731700479142485
mentalhealth,mike199028,2019/01/12,1q21.1 microdeletion - mental health Within the last 2 years I’ve been diagnosed with the deletion because my daughter was tested. Few years before that I was diagnosed with bipolar(on seroquel) however my girlfriend saying the deletion isn’t linked to bipolar but it’s linked to scitzothrenia but aren’t they almost identical apart from one or two differences? Isn’t it possible to have bipolar whilst having the deletion?,7.8376525821596275,10.84967307042254,6.475704225352112,69.71149061032864,64.77464788732395,9.240375586854462,37.18544600938967,9.725611199111238,4.453392488262911,352,18,46,8,6,105,51,71,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,8,5,0,0,0,8,8,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,1,4,0,7,5,1,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,4,32,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25772444280289936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15689375084993454,0.0,0.21900764264758066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5224615458712148,0.0,0.26890267777223986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735781819747581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20979543064872172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25937402637037976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17440433855093124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29015226945546746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20467537345481604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25141852134037623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314828410102521
mentalhealth,FrodoNabbins,2019/01/12,"Recently went through a very traumatic event that led to me getting off my meds I know this title sounds strange but I'll try and explain it.
I recently went through a very difficult and very traumatic event that consisted of manic and depressive episodes, full on delusional and dissociative days, ending with multiple consecutive mental breaks. This lasted for about a year and I was in an inpatient clinic 2 or 3 times during all of this.

Prior to this I went through an ECT (Electroconvulsive  Therapy) treatment and I experienced many, many gaps in short and long term memory....My diagnosis was PTSD, Bipolar 2, and a few other things but the bipolar diagnosis was recently changed to borderline personality disorder. In the aftermath of my psychotic episode I slept a LOT... I mean a LOOTT ... And I kept telling myself that it was my mind's way of healing itself. 

After what I would call 'waking up' from this nightmare I consulted my mental health doctor and asked if he thought it would be wise to be taken off my meds, he asked why and I explained that my symptoms have been gone for months. He agreed and I have been off my meds ever since.

Now, I have been taking mental health meds my entire life..and not just a pill or two, but handfulls. So to go from all of that to nothing but multivitamins is a little jarring. Bit I accept it. I have been without my medication for 4 or so months now, and my family and friends say that I'm completely different in a very good way. Bit ever since this all happened it's like my emotions have been turned on. Everything I see around me moves me like it never has before...it feels like gaining something I never had. Like my empathy was ""broken"" or something, and now it works.

This leads to my question/ concern.

 Has anyone ever experienced this before? Does this make any sense to any of you? Is there cause for concern or does this happen sometimes? Is this possibly the cause of my ECT finally working?

Thank you so much for reading",4.785990990990992,6.829322824324327,5.4210810810810806,78.16315315315315,70.75675675675676,8.717117117117118,30.44144144144144,9.2995712137729,2.8915657657657663,1575,67,280,35,30,508,190,370,0.06,0.8440000000000001,0.095,0.935,1,0,2,0,0,0,49.0,0,2,0,4,13,11,0,0,14,0,25,12,2,5,8,56,50,28,0,3,13,0,2,4,1,2,10,2,0,1,28,17,0,1,8,1,0,8,4,2,0,1,19,7,37,9,40,27,10,51,0,1,1,0,16,14,0,8,30,191,65,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763425256639872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05533571833101423,0.0,0.0,0.07045034770593978,0.1479682684490956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734132561162437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17279823716391482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080960583988876,0.0,0.0,0.1625947808713192,0.08371840130151413,0.0,0.08297557005988404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05103800603689381,0.0,0.06816216857111157,0.0,0.0,0.08268324594880595,0.09069996909300447,0.08100195809154832,0.138509867719904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902054534832397,0.07009352427674123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147568398669234,0.0,0.0,0.07112488820391652,0.0,0.07460505697324035,0.0,0.04001497632425785,0.05653680447096076,0.0,0.08669273303295098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06114247294486739,0.0,0.04134677856109864,0.0,0.04497642761100525,0.06637790587456517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996443307642348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682417764958481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04349263785250386,0.06450871867462933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589810445243135,0.15465296279355692,0.07931791011043696,0.0,0.07003538473346346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728101335745841,0.0,0.0,0.05282579149601853,0.1604687287223433,0.0,0.08620539918308369,0.3516216511348512,0.0797240573927426,0.23926001696359625,0.0,0.0799076703780639,0.0,0.12633573716295204,0.08411206464012266,0.05817615463341023,0.0,0.12207350726686353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593585319601713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910098422565243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921715342050532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250907118776863,0.0,0.08865361471051389,0.0,0.0791602580014201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344201770060443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293438348487629,0.0,0.0,0.06306341085937832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309289356471905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184989374782244,0.07827033822084853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822555584626142,0.05950256016357518,0.0,0.06917083601226498,0.07286041298911777,0.09050216273897464,0.0,0.05257633006620624,0.0,0.0,0.06282740057963715,0.04614649513360774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373007884475285,0.08608033470415455,0.07730714921953634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26119133065271105,0.0,0.12563345819159627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22008749791741114,0.07141049556152193,0.0,0.0,0.07628701952206961,0.0,0.11522803889452812,0.0,0.0,0.11243592537269048,0.0,0.0,0.05096281951917603
mentalhealth,me-substitution,2019/01/12,"That feeling when you finally learn to ignore the voice in your head telling you you’re going to fail... ...and then you fail anyway.

It technically isn’t that big a deal (just a college rejection, nothing life-altering), but it really hurts to start believing in yourself and then have your self-confidence utterly smashed. Feels like that voice in my head was just handed 500 rounds of free ammunition to use against me for another few weeks.",9.411749999999998,8.738172675000001,8.435000000000002,70.21000000000002,59.75,13.0,40.0,12.161744961471696,4.947500000000002,354,16,62,10,4,110,61,80,0.124,0.768,0.107,-0.1265,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,5,0,2,4,7,0,0,3,0,3,3,3,1,0,10,8,6,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,1,6,7,3,10,7,1,11,0,4,1,0,7,4,0,0,7,38,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495352164764748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26811383938708555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24533949412312656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24065238285349344,0.17000780663477116,0.0,0.2606875562214688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524541897910036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4884574693770105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25475479043280963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808721720167813,0.11626148329450625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283413073589206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245146104098206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24825751685441186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843836353008568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20799870497772355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20553208139994275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19088741549340776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Adrian_F-9,2019/01/12,"How much can no exercise deteriorate mental health? If a person is completely sedentary for years on end ( like maybe 5 years ) with no exercise whatsoever, how does it effect their mental health? I’m sure it’s bad but how bad? I know of one such person who goes to therapy, takes antidepressants, but hasn’t done any exercise at all in the last 5 years. She seems to be getting worse and worse. How bad is the lack of exercise for mental health?",4.146369747899158,6.112097082352946,5.1104201680672245,80.05117647058826,72.29411764705883,9.092436974789916,25.084033613445378,9.606745405546679,2.266579831932773,352,11,68,9,7,115,59,85,0.276,0.69,0.034,-0.977,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,5,5,0,0,3,0,6,7,0,5,2,15,11,8,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,7,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,3,2,10,9,3,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,6,40,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840495540350724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624700772411926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15172135406034298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663308408737792,0.14808434826453248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816645196234958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560284581106995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4614467268084834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952656308206911,0.1179545996363616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069597987560693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453764986106612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4374884525652415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637546628043293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805644415137267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527031724169402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317347914547274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638357220739022,0.0,0.10880080717202928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654837763240061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949352930754021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795575123594301
mentalhealth,emogalxp,2019/01/12,"Should I go to a therapist?? I think I may have social anxiety but I’m scared to tell my parents because it might just be me overthinking it. I don’t know if what I feel is a normal thing or not. I’m always really nervous and I feel uncomfortable talking to new people because I feel like everyone I talk to is judging me. Even my parents and family, I just feel like everyone I talk to thinks I’m weird or hates me. I’ll be talking to someone and I just feel like when I look into their eyes they’re judging me and thinking how weird and awkward I am. I find it hard to make friends because of this. Ive pushes the few friends I had away because I feel like they all secretly hated me. Am I just weird?? Do people really see me as some annoying weird person?? Or is it probably just in my head? I feel fucking crazy right now I hate this. ",1.6945214285714272,3.535114720000003,3.7796249999999993,87.44543750000004,78.94285714285714,7.117857142857144,25.794642857142854,8.07648339933343,1.610264285714286,656,26,139,12,16,224,93,175,0.239,0.6509999999999999,0.11,-0.9714,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,0,10,18,5,3,3,0,15,3,2,2,1,38,37,13,0,3,11,2,8,4,2,3,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,13,0,0,2,2,12,0,0,1,11,31,6,12,31,3,9,0,0,3,1,14,4,1,7,7,91,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858689602702771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144496222089846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002679319753953,0.0,0.0,0.25959880085407605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703187214274186,0.0,0.0,0.2034625623529632,0.0,0.0,0.1003651459834423,0.0,0.37682113951391377,0.3042327083109447,0.0,0.0,0.09730651805183753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645082376949696,0.09842460730272001,0.0,0.0,0.06050616280088615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095371176171779,0.3153346129155224,0.10926317278074084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058510041066482214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080524808541413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894032686734269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106580291320573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294188681209966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282396532051773,0.0,0.0,0.1043124916202523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364321980563284,0.0,0.0,0.14761799725746325,0.09296059343396444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147866125513661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640762091031042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092000207571684,0.0,0.0,0.10658942107154312,0.0,0.08483832991891621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852703193439477,0.09020692692561028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422881556799561,0.0930545640714118,0.0,0.0,0.12361335536341203,0.07073020591970261,0.204654234936491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,canibeanonhelpidk,2019/01/12,"why do i sometimes feel like i want to jump of out my own body? its very hard for me to explain it but theres certain periods of time where i feel like i cant get at all comfortable in my own skin. everything will become unbearably annoying and angering to me. i want to stop any noise i hear, yell at anyone who talks to me, and my own clothes feel really uncomfortable and awful against my body. additionally, i just cant relax. my room or whatever environment im in feels like its made of rocks regardless of if its a space i can usually be in without problems. ",2.6968421052631544,4.6074481578947415,4.692842105263158,81.72189473684213,76.19298245614034,9.121403508771932,28.06666666666667,9.642632912329526,2.7603782456140364,446,19,92,13,10,153,76,114,0.179,0.6609999999999999,0.16,-0.6709,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,9,2,0,1,1,6,3,3,1,2,23,16,6,0,5,5,0,6,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,5,5,0,1,5,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,8,16,6,18,13,4,14,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,2,7,59,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989249477983555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327557748490713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471347647027448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39166711309818497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584503089747197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565775931494886,0.3778539845792162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092111355160691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579333974556594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870697233170592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19043814355208485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25839910287351664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682273065402944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686987363868224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294460168136099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436877003015586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739770527029614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170615668511458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280404787501532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941735091508274,0.1454689353070973,0.2079768641567521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908657815138658,0.0,0.0,0.16995038051064087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SpiritualSpaghetti,2019/01/12,"What does “recovery” mean? Is it BS? I have heard people say that you can’t control your thoughts, only how you react to them but if you are always going to have thoughts than how does one even determine that they are in recovery? How can that even be measured? It seems like it’s just this BS thing people throw around to get pats on the back. I talked to someone in “recovery” and honestly he was a mess, and he was very arrogant and manipulative. It really changed how I feel about recovery. I know we can get better and still have quality lives but the term just seems kind of meaningless. What do you think?",3.0169900687547724,5.230693907563031,3.8005194805194833,87.08311688311692,76.31092436974791,8.024751718869366,24.26355996944233,8.841846274778883,1.7733798319327727,481,16,98,11,11,153,78,119,0.102,0.813,0.085,-0.4835,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,5,2,2,12,5,0,0,3,0,13,0,0,7,0,26,25,11,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,11,6,0,1,8,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,5,3,12,4,11,19,1,9,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,3,4,68,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553759210224902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623100340165908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358532464245874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16514921373368452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753761769383185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20943573288785816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32682073320937594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24666935171937004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944172723353954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511944827656685,0.0,0.106124056653437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445256560548171,0.10262298294089382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122778673683156,0.0,0.16488771154149212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034058095022912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126534385561293,0.14201804401015905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589128111721621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962525319184784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484967222422062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399874641188621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582173547360652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912435713058006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008804865348407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405639413679448,0.11965027812807574,0.0,0.29648858180413273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407339490871674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,supertetris,2019/01/12,"I don't know what is wrong with me. I know this isnt a place for getting diagnosis I just want to be pushed toward the right direction of things as I am lost. I dont know if I am in denial to this stuff being issues though. When I would think of help, I just think this is probably normal stuff. From what I have looked at I dont think this stuff lines up with the diseases I have looked up. And I know if I would ask or go get help and this stuff be normal then I will be ridiculed by my family and the doctors. They will talk about it forever.

Background: So I am 22 year old man living at my parents home in the United States I take some classes online for Business Administration (as I didnt know what else to) In grade school I was always bullied. this took place from 4th grade until 12th grade. I have had some issues the whole time and still do today but I believe it's normal behavior depending on my mood. It has took me a few weeks to get this post how I want it

So here is just a couple things from my daily Journal I started a month ago when I finally started to question my ways

 1. Every person I see outside my parents and grandparents I feel like they are going to bully or belittle me. I just know it's what is running through there head. Everyone, no matter what does this to me. Some even act on it by approaching me or 

 2. I cant make eye contact or speak to people without feeling like I am going to jump out of my skin from panic/anxiety

 3. I have little to no short term memory. I'm not sure when this started even.

 4. I hurt internally when I hear loud noises like dropping something on floor (anything from salt shaker to a spoon), loud music, dogs barking, setting items down on glass tables, pretty much anything that is considered like those. I cant describe

 5. I pick at bumps on my face, arms, underarms, private area. When I do it it's like, for lack of a better word, a drug high. Time passes so fast and it feels so good. I do this whenever I'm in front of a mirror or in good lighting. This is usually after I freak out over something

 6. Anxiety over other people driving. Especially when they park. I end up cringing and saying some form of watch out

 7. I go through these weird periods about every other day of a feeling I dont know how to describe as emptiness. 

 8. I have turned down trips to places I know may have a bit of people. Similarly if I am going to a plaxd and I see people inside the windows near the door (like a gym) I run back to my truck and dont go.

 9. When driving everyone seems to want to try to hit me. Also while driving I find myself daydreaming of other cars crashing and how it would happen. 

 10. If I am with my family at a store I find myself going to the isles that isnt crowded. When they go to the register I usually go outside to the vehicle. I know the camera watcher is watching me making fun of how I am alone but I can be a little more okay with that then see them face to face. 

 11. I have a constant feeling I am going to get kicked out of the house. My parents haven't ever mention it at all but i know they will kick me out one day and i will end up on the street or under a bridge for the rest of my life. I have expressed this worry to my mom and she says I have nothing to worry about but I know she probably ran to my dad and told him I am onto them.

 12. I am quite. I am always asked if something is wrong by family members. I say nothing but I dont want to interrupt anyone and get them mad at me. 

 13. If I do stuff it must be perfect. I have been jumped on at every job I have had as I am not fast enough. I have this issue everywhere. In test, washing dishes, doing clothes. My mom has jumped on me for wasting water as it took me a hour and 20 minutes to watch 23 utinsels and plates and put them on a towel to dry. O get told that I will get faster as I learn to do stuff but I have done this stuff for a while. I must make sure everything is done right or I will have screwed up. And will think of it forever

 14. I have reoccurring nightmares of being bullied in school. It's always 1 of two different bullying events in school. These dreams happen once or twice a week.

The being perfect thing is probably the biggest thing I struggle with

A job is the worst thing for me in the world as I know when I am hired by HR they tell my soon to be co workers how I am and make my life hell. HR just hires me as they know how it will get my hopes up that maybe I can do something right. I usually end up leaving after 2 or 3 months after I get sat down by a boss for being too slow or not working well with a team. Or I am legit sick and miss a day. At that point I stay out that day thinking of all they are talking about me and I cant bring myself to go in and be harassed for being sick. I come up with stories to tell my family that I was let go for budget cuts or stuff. I've got to the point to where in this rural beach town I have ruined every job opportunity with these franchises/corporations. Those 2 to 3 months of my life at a job are always the worst for me mentally.

My family says everyone goes through this stuff regarding jobs and I don't understand. They say after a month I will feel normal and it doesnt.

I am sorry for the long post as I know that people hate long post but I need to get this stuff out. I have been trying to get this message done correctly for a bit. Edited it a few times as I worry that some stuff may sound embarrassing. Originally I had a list of 25 things. 

If you decided to stick around and read/reply to this, Thanks in advanced as I dont know when I'll have the courage to read the replies. If you couldn't make it all the way through I do appreciate your time too. Also mods I am sorry if I have screwed up in the rules. I dont think I have violated any upon multiple inspections of this post",1.8592967571644008,3.41283076552288,3.6343137254901983,89.96864253393667,77.5375816993464,6.603117144293615,22.716943187531424,7.395310329662975,0.7527336852689794,4523,134,1002,58,104,1518,443,1224,0.123,0.797,0.08,-0.9959,11,1,5,0,1,0,101.0,0,3,13,10,46,42,9,2,54,1,120,19,7,15,11,163,215,92,0,26,37,6,7,6,0,16,8,10,3,2,79,42,2,0,34,5,2,35,24,21,1,3,20,28,159,20,174,164,23,185,1,4,9,2,51,77,3,32,69,711,238,23,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029948819972655957,0.0,0.0,0.034991603691707826,0.0,0.05403652724346435,0.11244901777131884,0.0,0.0,0.02297530831470016,0.0,0.05169165201006698,0.0,0.0,0.023623617187961028,0.0,0.055605199200280835,0.030076270719179905,0.06316979042174509,0.0,0.0,0.0259789750821225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0380647051296748,0.0,0.029880541894535814,0.07377006260397459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029103229041231218,0.0,0.03651013849173933,0.0,0.0,0.037383029020852616,0.0,0.08715544700730188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03529867161872298,0.0,0.03458090555512857,0.029565931286882775,0.10372293378950533,0.2771745984024282,0.0,0.03918047045858688,0.0,0.028223461979427624,0.0,0.08977181293447055,0.03490946776392538,0.0,0.044630027182777234,0.030560931989498087,0.11386301199878697,0.09685052043213324,0.030364241797944187,0.0,0.1592498804912098,0.0,0.10249782718802546,0.04827275640891101,0.0,0.03701037955082784,0.06175869608490313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941669048414383,0.0,0.23041303673159444,0.056675372992867276,0.02702136219357529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975283752798472,0.0,0.0,0.03335620078695671,0.03467368484731536,0.0,0.03807873013223323,0.0,0.045291436205490615,0.035696250867410406,0.03388962559853045,0.03355663899406608,0.033271926064107483,0.03898394743338618,0.036168091883525835,0.0,0.0,0.10578989769702822,0.1676345490248824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27851452681323025,0.0,0.0,0.03577398145667221,0.0,0.034547977464583324,0.07159112383168162,0.09903537444379658,0.06772392230961115,0.02983322815302495,0.05979823406855868,0.05674264591461094,0.0,0.03688087994839638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276046589726416,0.0,0.033942090249374564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034047852030052214,0.0,0.0,0.07913837215433807,0.10786910089585673,0.0,0.02483624046056761,0.025051530798059184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132410522888143,0.06483622444414869,0.0,0.03545221397824203,0.03598047014605055,0.022893938901583716,0.0,0.0,0.03964002159753121,0.11254444632887577,0.0,0.0,0.11711310829698293,0.0295002079650102,0.10589601485616897,0.0,0.06387646301382037,0.0,0.12942873428567928,0.03437201420867104,0.10927949629333404,0.0,0.0,0.033963773546455266,0.03784750825356792,0.035935053255590266,0.06758931438602694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655793396966982,0.0,0.134337985323828,0.0,0.10257823274331866,0.08076804214218025,0.030757063371802708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403895823934536,0.0,0.07564023451478911,0.07174068285644615,0.036010862994584586,0.02698115540484205,0.0,0.0,0.03531995522338744,0.4254396390277788,0.0,0.0,0.06368489488514689,0.0,0.025402502134323626,0.054311033328823415,0.0590600574027111,0.031105162389243962,0.0,0.0,0.13467356695747193,0.1298903603887863,0.03319409631340678,0.0,0.07880242046059835,0.0,0.032024717170150784,0.06456701362142216,0.1126108487294548,0.045876293012572886,0.036748937861402334,0.03300353829564958,0.03517191195164237,0.0,0.0,0.11162991263497753,0.0,0.07971028687159408,0.05363473741434268,0.0542014034063493,0.0,0.03037723488051497,0.0,0.0,0.037720320224860326,0.0,0.03256803019741066,0.0,0.02459625683252537,0.1029324894401268,0.0,0.07200078012784814,0.07387831241223924,0.0,0.02175676354173925
mentalhealth,super1422,2019/01/12,"Casual Suicidal Thoughts I have had a history of depression in the past but am no longer depressed right now. And I know we can all casually joke and say ""oh maybe I should just end it all"" as sarcasm when something bad happens. But sometimes an extremely minor inconvenience will land on my lap, like my laptop not responding, or my phone taking a while to load, and I'll go from a perfectly healthy mindset to, unironically ""shit man, maybe I should just kill myself.""

I am known to have a dark and edgy sense of humour so the way in which I think these things sounds almost comical and jokey, but I mean them almost seriously. And it lasts for all of about ten seconds or so. Ten seconds of genuinely considering suicide and then I'm my normal self again; Not wanting to die.

I don't know how unhealthy this is? Given my history with it, I'd say this is the healthiest these thoughts have ever been... But it's still kinda messed up, right?

Just as a disclaimer, I am not currently suffering anything and am operating as a healthy person, so don't assume the worst about my health or that I'm making a fuss. It's the fact I'm fine that makes these brief moments of suicidal thought concerning to me.",4.341685823754787,6.0312956206896535,5.102183908045976,81.43898467432952,71.24137931034483,8.77624521072797,29.699233716475096,9.2995712137729,2.6324791187739462,952,39,183,21,18,308,141,232,0.18600000000000005,0.647,0.168,-0.8418,1,0,1,0,0,2,28.0,1,0,1,1,14,16,2,0,13,0,17,2,1,3,6,48,34,25,5,4,13,0,0,1,0,3,1,3,0,3,14,10,0,0,9,4,0,2,6,9,0,4,6,3,19,7,22,25,4,22,0,3,0,0,9,7,1,7,13,126,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27035190305202056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110877053960968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271348442340838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325384803415603,0.0,0.14010138168370495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956369609993366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210886241955472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767196110914814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937383027765645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349120581269872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934971133420144,0.0,0.14837720284259634,0.11003728111826196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595074236600669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802177004463803,0.0,0.2712371487831092,0.1470469099171807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226444082109207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288660567874661,0.0,0.11787064730177567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23056650353585198,0.0,0.2147036428504795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408271000036652,0.0,0.13856833536235866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039241771347781,0.13351149095782971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780555365204986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4429811698168497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014979071743784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968332545623778,0.08649803912934252,0.0,0.3215079983706209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962234640268387,0.10715112965284401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlackHeart19,2019/01/12,"Depersonalization    As if depression wasn't enough. I have  depersonalization for 3 months already. Ever since i smoked weed, god damn that  shitty drug. People are claiming that it has no bad side effects, but here i am. A foolish kid who did it with a result of this shitty issue. I know the best way for fixing this is seeking professional help, but i have to admit that i smoked and my parents....... i don't want them to know it, they think weed is same as heroin/some other hardcore shit. Can you guys help me in some way? it would be amazing.

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   ",2.8694444444444467,5.628871870370372,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,80.2962962962963,5.0814814814814815,22.88888888888889,6.42735559955562,0.6348000000000007,454,15,83,4,12,144,78,108,0.192,0.635,0.173,0.182,1,0,3,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,2,2,2,6,2,0,3,0,13,2,1,2,1,16,18,6,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,11,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,12,2,9,14,4,6,0,1,0,0,10,2,2,2,2,59,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606512445253586,0.0,0.0,0.43024359335947576,0.4825041624622977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051701820914606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890610103477205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400348235928592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349828253779552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676567134983678,0.0,0.0,0.1197293069285805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105951838041385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743936174940156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815188550383214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548575188020532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056503503697807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697270535082296,0.0,0.0,0.09176337484385627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358680314142821,0.10949148859460314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848124376104165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807073263909177,0.21012611592219704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402640279411573,0.0,0.4825041624622977,0.0
mentalhealth,destroyer6991,2019/01/12,"I don’t know what is going on, but it feels like I’m loosing my ability to speak I’m a 23 year old college student. I’ve always struggled with social anxiety, and grew up as extremely sheltered and away from normal social interaction. I also struggled with depression until I was 20. When I turned twenty I left a lot of that behind me, and have been in a much better place mentally. Right now, I’m the best I’ve ever been. I feel wonderfully mentally. I’m at the least stressed point I’ve been since I was 10. 

I’ve never really struggled with speech. I have 1-2 words that I struggle to say, but other than that I don’t have any issue that I know of.  Over the past few months I’ve started to struggle more and more to speak or even start sentences. It started out gradually, and I thought it was because of social anxiety. I had started working a job where I was doing a massive amount of customer service, so I just pinned it on the stress. But as time passed, I started wondering if that might not be the cause. I’ve gone from having infrequent issues at work, to frequently struggling to talk to friends, family, and even my girlfriend. I quit the job, and while it’s not a big factor in why I quit working there, this issue played a role. 

I don’t have a clue as to what is wrong with me. It’s all in my head. If I think about what I’m going to say, I wind up stumbling over my words. I’ve even started having a slight  stutter when I’m starting a sentence. It feels just like social anxiety, except I’m not having any issue with it anymore. Ive done some reading on the internet, but can’t seem to find any helpful info. I’ve tried to figure out if anything triggers it. I have noticed that there is a correlation between me having less sleep and me having more incidents, but it’s not a huge correlation. I don’t know what to do, it’s almost to the point I’m considering going to a therapist. It’s not extremely noticeable right now, but I know a few people have noticed it. ",3.9986866359447006,4.9042176377171245,5.395422722438852,82.0153318858561,71.13399503722084,8.139276852180076,29.281194611839773,8.418075326091056,2.0913616448068058,1560,60,311,24,28,525,182,403,0.109,0.7879999999999999,0.103,-0.0487,2,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,7,16,17,0,8,22,0,33,2,2,2,3,60,65,27,0,4,18,0,3,2,2,1,0,5,0,0,25,15,0,0,15,2,0,6,11,11,0,0,11,8,33,6,49,52,13,51,0,1,0,0,14,24,0,11,23,213,58,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949653433576708,0.0,0.0,0.05550111884165053,0.05774840295374167,0.0,0.0,0.14158814959952448,0.0,0.15927806620912888,0.0,0.06882858717329596,0.0,0.0,0.057112307664103336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520589182828725,0.0,0.0,0.042307092895137295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283359558765035,0.06138083223851625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129543990936177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05977623349791899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710228083177724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751900254898433,0.06277849465116696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542645868294794,0.0,0.10527590091314767,0.09916225660445496,0.0,0.0,0.06343258728433845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362016520321786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832904506138968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122694227621905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04651900319249327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289752530191274,0.13774245684556696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256709874184116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540597131294534,0.0,0.0,0.06781306851650447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900348607946958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398827036614508,0.07362503804164328,0.0,0.0,0.055396378094292105,0.0,0.051018790573685226,0.0,0.05352745245099634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799967116307197,0.0,0.23704546782873895,0.07282620262922311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625249712795106,0.04811492427868478,0.0,0.07251079476799996,0.0,0.13121550720464287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763610935495713,0.06942123710620715,0.0,0.044460990347186834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853863611660152,0.0,0.11038323695100098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318138920095255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057410428636197025,0.0,0.0694525774395921,0.2829882545883034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438639080733857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900055730164753,0.4353270942455904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055783065066611015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805816003962081,0.0,0.044470291338560994,0.0,0.05509779758837322,0.04046913010608362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711971180222628,0.0754899425109451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262492151249976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052800564382618,0.15157744323995492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758806904547739,0.0,0.04469290609661848
mentalhealth,Defekton,2019/01/12,"Problems at the government mental health office. Hello,

I have been having a problem at the government counseling office. I live in British Columbia, Canada and the local psychologist has been moved to a new office.

Previously, i reported to her that I could hear the Secretary in the adjacent room talking. I said that If I could hear her, she could probably hear me.

More recently I was waiting in the room next to the secretary's office. The psychologist was in the other room on the phone. I could hear virtually every detail of their conversation. Specific details about the other patient, including his name and diagnosis.

I brought this up to the psychologist at our next meeting. She look stunned and admitted that people could hear what was going on in the room if the rear door was open. She said she would keep the door closed and ""turn on the radio"".

I did not find this satisfactory, so I brought it up to the local government psychiatrist. He immediately tried to downplay the issue and this is the first time anyone claimed that it was a hallucination.

The psychiatrist admitted that if I had the details on the other patient this would be a big deal. But I am not willing to give him that information since he said the issue was a hallucination, even when the psychologist was in the middle of explaining how people could hear the room from the second door.

If you have information for reporting these issues in British Columbia, PM me.

Thank you.",6.90042247570765,8.421150501901142,7.471831432192651,67.51726975073936,64.89353612167301,11.015547106041405,34.0027460920997,10.980518767755715,4.1849359526827214,1174,51,193,34,18,387,127,263,0.027000000000000003,0.941,0.032,0.0964,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,2,1,1,5,3,0,0,32,0,27,1,0,1,0,34,48,13,0,14,7,0,0,0,0,3,1,9,8,0,17,7,0,2,6,1,0,4,2,2,0,2,16,10,27,1,28,22,1,38,0,0,1,0,36,27,0,4,7,150,44,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463286640214275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4428120876624293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529666974118002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061052601756060886,0.0,0.0778806732274428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448413131373217,0.07862536472133932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867230138706443,0.05253307492347983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825433365180283,0.6250873753543836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28943511360456997,0.0,0.08216068510865374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162200708796408,0.0,0.07762231802867439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931529771257788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824402755871482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927452715664425,0.19661184478265487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281659082480567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966081863788348,0.17689607485204806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126864431254963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26378123134815923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646338261336623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742959415015635,0.0,0.08510194645998159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05389972959338888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275745779563023,0.10054299357793084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132667945039395,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PainlessMe,2019/01/12,"My mother sticking up for me (kinda) So my dad can be very annoying and rude, especially about political/human rights subjects. So today I was at a party and he started repeating the same shit he’s been saying for years, most notably: 
- “sex reassignment/transitioning is obviously not the correct solution to the problem in trans people’s heads”  and 
- “the gender pay gap doesn’t exist bc if it did nobody would hire men bc we live in a capitalist society” 
and I have been arguing with him about these things for EVER, and I keep getting really upset, because he doesn’t really listen to my points etc

But today, when he said that again, (the gender pay gap comment being totally unnecessary [*conversation about something idek what*, 
my dad: “well at least that’s real, unlike the gender pay gap”] like shut the fuck up why was that necessary???) this time my mother almost immediately told him that his comment was fucking useless and that he only did it to get a rise out of me. So she told him to shut up because it was making me upset, and I didn’t want to cry about it in front of people so thanks mum :)

But yeah my dad knows how I feel about this stuff and still tries to constantly argue about it. Like one time I cried about that transgender argument and he asked me if I’m trans and I was like “???? No?? It just really frustrates me that you’re calling them mentally ill??” 

Like they’re just people trying to do what they need to live a happy life, I just want them to be as happy as can and people calling trans ppl mentally ill is quite a step backwards on the road to accepting and normalizing non-cis people

Ok so mini rant over and I’m about to cry again so see y’all",3.8713055751587855,5.581868905198778,5.22876146788991,79.97584509527171,72.4862385321101,8.211197365325805,25.115149376617268,8.841846274778883,1.8926015996236176,1320,41,250,26,26,441,176,327,0.171,0.723,0.106,-0.9706,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,1,1,3,1,24,22,8,2,13,2,22,8,2,2,4,45,43,27,0,8,8,6,1,4,0,1,3,3,0,1,20,16,0,1,3,0,3,3,5,12,1,1,13,5,29,10,38,26,5,33,0,1,1,3,36,17,3,5,17,163,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505418412435154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807853050246408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790672712680504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21425370383343348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337256963507655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34572262048677593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700457952529435,0.0,0.09489888379569247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05304664462332685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939788527129367,0.10962434918749976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22336148721912935,0.0,0.0,0.10766994901283064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325057994635846,0.0,0.0,0.0576568753957801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410242750057969,0.20501875824629912,0.0,0.1852783843579892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002955507776946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114531817552677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779089691787487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027914563371856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109106646988607,0.07979028120983632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636637540716002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917572282991008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038658726112837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158679467845277,0.0,0.11941279077710365,0.20162788450936475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959424972385936,0.09979530870777184,0.08343020993583758,0.0,0.0,0.08360125762624296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769063026836584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076636055776494,0.0,0.0,0.07425723281996156,0.0,0.08378283529826598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200991064493491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658884722617016,0.0,0.0,0.06969885160047022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235002755608765,0.0,0.19888856232292992,0.20049576775995656,0.0,0.14245668296612685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656336307407017,0.12375959695450622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943284610544952,0.0,0.09466673551750424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745264538932678,0.0,0.0,0.06755986943812381
mentalhealth,huljnp,2019/01/12,"Don't think I can do it I don't think I can do it anymore. I don't really like anything i only like the idea of things. no one really knows me and they only know what i choose to show them. when they tell me they believe in me i cannot believe them, because they dont know how awful i really am. i hate my program at school and want to switch schools back to my home city. to switch i need to finish making an art portfolio by the end of the month, and i dont think i can do it. i dont think i can do anything and my self worth is at an all time low. i go through phases of ups and downs over the months and years but i always end up depressed and worthless. ive never accomplished anything and am an imposter. everything i say and do has been curated for my audience. no one truly knows who i am and they never will. i dont think ill be able to swtch schools for next year, and a year off seems like the end of the world. i might never go back to school and have wasted my familys money for nothing. i have barely any real friends anymore. people think im a cool girl but it doesnt mean anything and they dont know me, they just see pictures on instagram ive chosen so that theyll think that. i havent seen a therapist since the summer and i dont want to go back, i dont want to be sick again but i cant stop it. i dont think i can get through another semester all by myself in this cold city",0.9525490196078472,2.456260137254901,2.9051633986928103,94.41990196078432,79.98039215686273,6.101960784313726,21.13725490196079,6.937597516519254,0.2825803921568624,1086,30,259,12,27,365,139,306,0.119,0.802,0.079,-0.9299,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,10,1,8,9,1,0,13,2,40,2,0,2,5,49,67,20,0,4,4,0,0,3,1,3,2,1,1,2,11,14,0,1,17,2,3,3,20,4,0,2,2,5,49,5,30,60,2,36,0,3,2,0,16,12,0,2,24,174,60,6,0.06681995354178613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055599554181639435,0.0,0.0,0.045439859762256105,0.07006654742763938,0.0,0.0,0.1325348777126454,0.0,0.0,0.21994851334346946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414125917215546,0.0,0.04073282347868688,0.0,0.0,0.15056641149641312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057551928073303324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6264999032154157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17754793687516465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005346566788065,0.0,0.06299190537562152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162493035232252,0.0,0.034910667833705965,0.0,0.11392595839269212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597087034480346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702586156840806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543159419597761,0.07217701618672584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836124948690663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793456228287764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04460283785458495,0.0,0.0,0.07278651834762663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088541123813677,0.0,0.0,0.10667009883502296,0.0,0.0,0.0495461488786774,0.1546070024726876,0.0,0.07106377864753477,0.0,0.0,0.06411554756745656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055785966780833,0.10163917138190737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632454236909564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605573588008402,0.12841971978469724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053137909012982286,0.0,0.270501441325405,0.053246851764254664,0.06083037612249679,0.06970778443445684,0.0,0.0,0.05527415606811277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05586447316039246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584035846041923,0.0,0.0,0.07758311620948298,0.04439220802037359,0.3425242252648528,0.0,0.0,0.03896325226204761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823641953273525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908957790803424
mentalhealth,ForealTho0803,2019/01/12,"I should be happy but I just feel burnt out and alone. Hi, I just made this account so if the formatting is off or my writing is rambly or something please be patient. I just had to write this down or talk about it.

So I recently started highschool in a different school than I would feed into because my parents and I thought t would be best for me to complete the IB diploma program so I can have that on my uni application. This was not them forcing me, I also wanted to do it to have an easier time getting into uni. Now, I'm only 3 months in but I'm starting to have a weird feeling.

I thought I should be happy. I had good grades, I had the time to box and play other school sports, I had many hobbies such as music and video games. My life should be great, no? 

  
As I said I moved to a different high school to complete the program and left all my elementary friends (some of which I've known since we were 5) for school. Now I barely see them and don't have much time to sit down and call or text them because I have so much work to keep up with and after that I need to go to the gym to train. I have quite a large group of friends that I genuinely like at my school but I don't feel close to them, I don't feel connected to them at all if that makes sense. I really miss my friends from the other school but I know I can't just bail on my academics to be with them. I really want to continue working hard to be successful in school and sports but I really don't know if my 'motivation' is helping my mental health. My life has devolved into the commute to school, homework, the commute back and the gym + a bit of guitar when I have time. I really don't know what makes me happy anymore. What was driving me was thinking that if I work hard in school and in the gym that I'd be happy once I got good grades and became a good fighter and I do have 90s in every subject right now AND am making leaps and bounds as a fighter but right now I don't feel as happy as I thought I would. I don't want to let my parents and myself down but sometimes I just feel like dropping everything, transferring schools and having fun with my friends, and just 'being a teenager'. I wonder am I missing out on 'being a teenager' by having so much on my plate? I think I should ease up on myself but whenever I think of that I just think that no, I should work hard because my parents do so everyday to support me. That's how a good son should think right? 

I really don't know guys, I've spoken to my parents about maybe transferring but they have had a firm no because I dedicated to the program and should follow through. Am I being unreasonable and should just put my head down and work or am I burning out from the stress, anxiety and sleep deprivation of doing so much. I only get like 6 hours max of sleep now so that may be an issue? I really don't know. I knownothing about mental health and am just feeling really lost with all of this. Does anyone have some advice?

sorry if this post was super rambly but I just had to write my thoughts out somewhere.",3.4329270446917524,4.395979365659777,4.4940837307896135,87.73817558735206,72.51351351351352,7.371715244656421,26.378413707825473,7.635375032292933,1.2700653665430135,2387,78,512,28,45,780,238,629,0.056,0.752,0.192,0.9985,6,1,1,0,2,0,45.0,1,0,7,11,31,29,0,1,25,0,72,8,3,6,3,122,118,59,0,20,31,5,10,3,4,12,4,1,1,1,22,36,1,2,24,9,1,5,14,6,0,0,19,12,86,23,78,74,11,60,0,4,1,0,28,33,0,14,22,368,108,27,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107405927351998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054132162074408983,0.0,0.041797370541416634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03998360448346636,0.0,0.0518341615802802,0.036545837843537994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04018958668092559,0.0,0.12744429483040678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054850295744960115,0.0,0.057061302767097435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053369773453714686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960051915271013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921439496806287,0.0,0.0,0.04573862342530046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04403664286226577,0.0,0.046973613234604965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849920116909008,0.03733908135117682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152336819624533,0.0,0.05461400737973899,0.0,0.029704163600460062,0.1753540937138875,0.04180216404544373,0.057623820680886874,0.0,0.05175189059232335,0.0,0.2781924363005933,0.14046111447014445,0.0,0.05364034024872797,0.11111334356492726,0.0,0.0,0.035033023734196166,0.0552222542992888,0.0,0.0,0.05147181335552311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455247624949289,0.0,0.04645672151398352,0.0,0.0,0.14362105871990372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056787527707232076,0.05344587038458703,0.073834518560311,0.07660407604813217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705488060515849,0.0,0.0,0.049455671492147794,0.10466455672021223,0.05298986184442977,0.052508560245233066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053443483536622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041718491269800234,0.05555084433231696,0.1536870851391175,0.038754826366930686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0556619427511692,0.0,0.07950180847819065,0.0,0.0,0.2321423262153619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573727423632257,0.0,0.0,0.050056702767657946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254210439948853,0.0,0.05559168262542668,0.0,0.0,0.23438207533027025,0.0,0.051606701991100415,0.0,0.0,0.13390549778038682,0.04971725503161354,0.0,0.0,0.5289632306357775,0.04164950337033081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043235253788215765,0.0,0.10460816556082007,0.0,0.0,0.0402371794608511,0.05169274340069052,0.05850788477967335,0.07398876419858036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987091205124859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05931121945442382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042009701591373474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745079053863166,0.0,0.1659745323972803,0.12190768487812155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924841186034285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056680612572028936,0.1902525778773572,0.0,0.0,0.11138551790034673,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liucixin1998,2019/01/12,"What makes a book/story ""effective"" in discussing mental illnesses and suicide? Does character death due to suicide = poor portrayal of mental illnesses? If you have book recommendations with the same theme, feel free to comment that too. :)",8.49923076923077,11.171740974358976,7.633846153846152,63.48615384615386,62.33333333333333,11.353846153846154,38.641025641025635,11.20814326018867,5.421164102564104,194,10,26,6,3,60,34,39,0.392,0.499,0.109,-0.9549,0,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,7,3,2,3,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,5,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,15,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27247057354538395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743143400473758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20783318826086325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6275491666810808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6811479570506447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Misa_RC,2019/01/12,"Mental health/ support discord server Hey guys. I just wanted to bring a little positivity! There's a mental health server where you can vent all your problems/illness and get some advice if you desire. There's also some relax and anxiety reducing channels. Everyone is welcome!!\^\^

""Our main goal is to make you feel better each time you logout. Hospital98 is a place where people with any personal, physical or mental problem can vent, relax and make new friends. This server offers a lot of interesting channels with various topics so be sure to take a peek! We hope you enjoy your stay! ""  
[https://discord.gg/cmh2Rkc](https://discord.gg/cmh2Rkc)",7.027049742710119,10.639013471698117,5.9795025728988005,69.35597770154375,69.94339622641509,7.628130360205834,28.504288164665518,8.575989854853784,2.880256603773585,532,20,69,10,11,160,77,106,0.058,0.6759999999999999,0.267,0.9768,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,2,7,0,2,7,11,0,0,5,0,6,2,0,2,2,22,15,7,0,5,3,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,7,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,10,10,6,14,7,8,0,0,0,0,15,4,0,6,2,47,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921813209212996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138482687101555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776043334802565,0.0,0.1324733330626529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315335550570142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16546980349294552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875591336400777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378945713430385,0.0,0.0904733287927312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714639169636081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681397702868005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199526968332854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356020493760038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722156005461073,0.0,0.0,0.2311824702712005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5235389777637541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724709587049705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200531474475401,0.15120394582882507,0.1809240950978168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656987481881791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845744472018853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19650942006459185,0.16320914428382136,0.0,0.13020106709724188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097587217552087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021391943442224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,missamandajones,2019/01/12,"Inferiority complex due to lack of singing ability Something I never considered about myself is I may have an inferiority complex, which greatly hindered my development.

I always dreamed of doing something with music, and despite my lack of training or ability, I tried making music between ages 19-21. I quit due to lack of approval from others. Since then I have been running my head against the walk trying to learn music, how to sing, to the detriment of all areas of my life and only some measurable improvement. I don’t think I have any particular goals with music at this point, but to get back at the “haters.”  It’s unhealthy, but I also love to sing, play guitar, etc.

I really want to do something with my life, but my lingering inferiority complex keeps me practicing even though I have no friends, no career, and really none of the things that could also make me happy.

How do I overcome my consuming inferiority complex and move on?",8.772881136950907,8.426650267441865,9.22031007751938,62.99652454780363,60.86046511627906,11.365374677002585,39.459948320413424,10.746095033038511,4.459214987080101,754,35,121,16,9,253,104,172,0.145,0.713,0.142,0.359,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,1,0,5,0,12,4,1,4,2,31,19,14,0,5,4,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,6,6,0,3,5,5,0,0,1,0,22,5,25,16,7,14,0,4,0,1,2,5,0,3,6,96,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815394706793357,0.14646961304113693,0.0,0.0,0.11970525256871635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535486580139272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405442414759846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963180400531572,0.11626500508471513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599899645377625,0.0,0.0919675001692577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940717772777386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873853552233749,0.0,0.0,0.18065577816338985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15646200484769685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24866793059070025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588723765918086,0.0,0.2350004598869608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709018182870374,0.0,0.0,0.1357638453457405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387742331076008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640360237023058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722772147864614,0.0,0.0,0.22553642069702426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456123950926465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065454618423529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694535372610874,0.11279180082959545,0.17294687098689807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390232664896511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382602805142736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FoggyMcCloud,2019/01/12,"Wasn't sure where else to post this, but I'm extremely worried about someone that I told myself I wouldn't contact. Broke up with my gf of almost 2 years in july, was in an ""its complicated"" state with her until December, shit happened and I had to make the decision not to spend time with her anymore. I told her as much, it didn't go well. Its been extremely difficult and I miss her daily, but thats not what I want to talk about.

She's been suicidal for more than a decade. I'm so worried about her I can barely think straight. I've been checking her twitter activity almost daily just to make sure she's still alive, and when I saw that she hadn't been active for a bit, I looked up her reddit account and saw that she's been posting some things that raised even more concern. She doesn't seem to have anyone besides the internet to talk to. I desperately want to help her but I don't know if contacting her at all is a good idea. I don't know if hearing from me would just exacerbated the pain from our separation, and part of me wonders if it would even be healthy for me try and put any more of myself than I already have into trying to improve her mental health. Honestly I'm way more worried about her than I am about me and I just want to help her in any way I can.

Very unsure of what to do, on the verge of texting her. Any advice would be very appreciated.",4.9024155193992485,4.934143943262413,5.734021693783897,83.49794117647059,68.78723404255321,8.762953692115145,28.999582811848146,8.4952907291091,1.8473472674176048,1080,35,232,15,17,355,143,282,0.165,0.718,0.116,-0.9023,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,0,15,10,1,0,8,0,26,3,1,2,3,44,48,17,1,10,11,0,0,0,1,4,2,1,0,0,13,11,0,0,7,0,3,2,9,5,1,0,14,4,42,5,43,28,9,23,0,2,3,0,29,11,1,8,5,165,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114870233266933,0.0,0.0,0.2284884809817456,0.0,0.1259006955191915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23275449298456316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314621284109296,0.07977409146855284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455627931545972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530720971272273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071019151704107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483974110006491,0.09569293205977432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088904439435784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127189518645227,0.12858725555894848,0.0,0.15294368960737387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287932559208407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540130587984702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958065183105554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15231136957483654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497546885145615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386897325977621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213993637562744,0.0,0.0,0.123547904033364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21853257283619154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146915460047713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386287447870886,0.0,0.0,0.11711132084401205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666773625253564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111209100907733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247954899427172,0.0,0.2150561698198334,0.0,0.0,0.18340177569136826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579605163328304,0.0731040001769847,0.0,0.0,0.06652655526617213,0.0,0.0,0.21803497785730905,0.0,0.15491868014556984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18827171428083006,0.2018789819088232,0.181118006372202,0.0,0.0,0.10258023970837436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372528962594725,0.0,0.34759053883869906,0.0,0.24313790619047326,0.0,0.0,0.07346995301476884
mentalhealth,graye1999,2019/01/12,"Seeing shadows, etc. A problem that I’ve been having for a while is seeing shadows moving in my peripheral vision or seeing my cat dart in the room only to have her saunter in a few seconds later. I also have that problem with seeing my husband dart by but I know he’s not really doing that. 

At night, too, I hear distant music that I think really isn’t there. 

I’m on Ativan, Lamictal, and Trazadone. I feel like it’s a symptom of my medication. 

Anyone else experience this and if so, do you think it’s because of your meds or something else?",3.0766564729867483,4.7901212935779816,5.1553516819571845,79.67249745158003,74.59633027522936,7.046279306829766,26.790010193679922,7.793537801064563,1.7489686034658511,427,16,79,6,9,148,75,109,0.038,0.914,0.048,0.2617,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,5,0,8,2,0,0,0,14,18,9,0,3,5,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,7,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,6,12,1,11,17,2,10,0,0,4,0,6,6,0,3,4,58,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768368093342712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038473741089815,0.17640773484469774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495277214166007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876506194784913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19201421614478148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16841455574141098,0.0,0.0,0.0870539420575151,0.12299774116193635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19404724904895101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461971300093182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841131952256818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912412155140069,0.1734423985814152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829886576011865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156917091536785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309424670781053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32948542599955605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22059205063636905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5487863814202478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325442942172482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894976526506218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206381972638768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheBrokenMonk,2019/01/12,"Hello all, new here and look forward to sharing and caring! It almost seems weird to say it outloud now after so many years of keeping silent about it, but I've been challenged by depression, anxiety, borderline personality, and ADD all of my life, and just couldn't figure out what was wrong with my mind until later on in my life....40 years later to be exact  :  (   But recently I've been more vocal about it to myself and others realising that me suffering in silence is giving power to the stigmas attached to it which in turn helps NO ONE. I'm happy to be a part of a community of people seeking answers, support, and encouraging each other while we all grow and heal!  :  )",8.739010416666666,7.158550296874999,9.231562500000004,66.87385416666667,61.65625,11.345833333333333,36.95833333333333,10.125756701596842,3.754277083333333,530,20,91,9,6,179,92,128,0.14400000000000002,0.698,0.158,0.4894,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,6,10,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,4,26,15,12,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,10,12,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,3,2,6,6,22,9,6,17,0,2,1,0,8,6,0,2,11,70,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20889232233207025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958572833879398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126913307639585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796750925062739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20011728101540588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22206873611773414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398265784377642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854217456084349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946941771061136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517947529303088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211497332625732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106361691259984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014763952109387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135922424926778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22590380470734564,0.0,0.1446235897583948,0.1821498052848144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059767554928269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589468045860994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899102918512129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367276356790255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269072775289456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280817856711577,0.0,0.2686754105229362
mentalhealth,minimalist_rina,2019/01/12,"I (30f) just got diagnosed with PTSD last week. Don't really know how to feel about the diagnosis or my therapist? Last week was my first time ever seeing a mental health therapist. She asked me briefly about some things that happened in my past but she didn't want to go into detail right away, which I appreciated. She said since my physical/emotional/sexual abuse started at a very young age, that it looks like I'm dealing with PTSD. I didn't really think about it like that but it makes sense. I still have a hard time accepting it tho. 

However my problem with my therapist is that one of my main concerns is my ""mood instability"". My emotions fluctuate alot within a day. My relationships are unstable as well, almost chaotic. Infact I just broke up with my boyfriend today because he didn't tell me he was going to hang out and go to the movies with some friends last night. I told her that sometimes even the smallest thing can set me off and when I get angry, it's like a rage that I feel intensely. My symptoms are like what BPD would feel like. She said that it sounds like I possibly am bipolar which I don't really think I am, because my moods change within a day and I know with bipolar, if you're depressed, you can be depressed for days/weeks. With me, I can go from happy, to something setting me off and then I'm angry, and I will usually verbally abuse the person who made me mad and after that I'm back to normal in a little while and often times apologetic for exploding on them. 

Tldr: I don't think my therapist really understands my issues, and I'm worried about that? I don't want to judge her since I've only been to her once so far. I have a phone appt with her next week, and then an office appt the week after. I'm trying to get help for myself but I need her to take me seriously

",5.049072624352647,5.57293502493075,5.861498253643267,80.99421775261956,68.55678670360112,9.380753944357464,28.16102613513188,9.43228470229965,2.2581496085752133,1428,45,288,28,23,469,188,361,0.159,0.732,0.109,-0.9669,1,0,1,0,2,0,38.0,0,1,1,1,16,19,2,0,15,0,24,5,0,3,1,51,59,22,0,7,7,0,4,6,1,2,5,3,0,1,21,19,0,0,10,0,0,5,7,7,1,2,11,9,52,10,42,45,4,52,0,3,2,0,25,15,0,7,36,188,73,0,0.0,0.1938671907521689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192269184642377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648298159731233,0.0,0.07686487152023043,0.06290821799019419,0.0,0.0997434179212759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030390878743828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865460279181803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552367524192983,0.08434436505104786,0.14092875287651827,0.0830372466005235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202725426229967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054035916929888746,0.07400344953954098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409950038219053,0.058446360442623226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958906835191057,0.0,0.0,0.06320758743845449,0.0,0.08548656916626865,0.0,0.18598210664166973,0.0,0.06543236358986285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234589734315283,0.087090173705752,0.07328729602177607,0.0,0.0,0.08696210904203312,0.0,0.0,0.05483671955682085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539025531797168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992324247238168,0.2000625888903424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23981465414076894,0.08199690816008738,0.0,0.0,0.06870130032560756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741229557247624,0.054610006337181514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244704384347891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606624070214711,0.0,0.0,0.08700776876435927,0.0767748245661093,0.08015818572241337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712688826954659,0.05543778746168105,0.062221554280556535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809861251564383,0.0,0.07143490101331987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223050286045036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782828358742281,0.1912672132585683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096429150726632,0.0,0.0,0.08783524723582345,0.0,0.06986682322572914,0.15564349751759093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519340589406022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535111927196394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298271432672244,0.08091395405927868,0.0,0.05790680735264249,0.0,0.06533500265001356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503377690517568,0.06151228586619991,0.0,0.07150711207540802,0.0,0.0,0.3799591839130148,0.10870423847100033,0.15726507840152756,0.0,0.0,0.14311534121783887,0.0,0.07754801266969627,0.0781746730776034,0.0,0.05554483639739435,0.0,0.0,0.08516896056105165,0.0,0.0,0.09010413043712936,0.06750329629815613,0.0965094290041844,0.0,0.3281224230442677,0.0,0.07355862607211977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308384586001694,0.0,0.058116749633484184,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheEpicVun,2019/01/12,"Help (15M) I have always been a very introverted person but as of late my mental well-being has dropped quite a lot. 

I’ve always been extremely socially awkward, to the point where I can’t leave my room when guests are over, or even in public I’ll completely change my behavior if I feel someone will judge me over something.

One of the main things that has been affecting me is that I think I’ve grown up too fast as I’ve always been a bit of a killjoy, I’ve never really been able to act as a normal teen. I’ve been to much of a worrier. 

Also, I’ve had many sleepless nights worrying over what my life will be like once I leave HS and have to leave my friends behind, what will happen when my loved ones pass away and what even will happen to me when my time comes. Essentially I’m getting irrationally upset over these things. 

I just hope to find someone to talk about these things with. I do have a family psychologist that I used to go to and I’m not really comfortable talking to a family member or close friend as a I feel they will dismiss me. I just need a objective view on what’s happening. I’ll be happy to talk in dm’s over this stuff. 

Note: I’ve also posted about this on r/psychology just so I can get a few perspectives.

Thanks ",4.203474264705882,4.8350929687500015,5.355597426470592,83.48701286764708,70.484375,9.148529411764708,25.605698529411764,9.325443323948027,1.840061856617648,984,27,210,20,17,327,142,256,0.108,0.77,0.122,0.8318,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,1,15,10,0,2,13,0,24,2,0,2,1,25,41,17,0,4,8,0,2,1,3,5,1,0,1,1,15,6,0,0,4,0,0,5,3,2,0,2,7,3,23,8,34,27,5,30,0,0,1,1,12,15,0,5,9,137,38,0,0.10951329134729283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17515547904873538,0.2733714939834145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102891342177887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956015045745907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585054130120735,0.094336003526179,0.11482260240007668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446649921808753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20647876929778375,0.0,0.11074642122284352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009316429087152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921939447090711,0.0,0.11443234946909575,0.0,0.062238927207455975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905267255956369,0.1165789350305712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340445074898329,0.0,0.0,0.10877140849168852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353576270296167,0.3478762891974259,0.0,0.0,0.0773524763713862,0.05350266242227265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310428407110954,0.09884002112529294,0.0,0.0,0.11102928863539972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036363987705276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050486990106225,0.08120271789614157,0.08446340156729218,0.0,0.0,0.10277080529562453,0.10729977364696083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662808115768478,0.1484180808863648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562278187989286,0.0,0.0,0.10352545814718088,0.0,0.10488346084093313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648086560533012,0.0,0.0,0.14031403737033415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163500919458608,0.18558051274899665,0.08430868201447919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536651776725127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26406790588561924,0.0,0.1008251250978696,0.0,0.0,0.21826729380070373,0.07017169514245092,0.0,0.0,0.0638580808671665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458432196527657,0.0,0.09035993452120523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846560093878144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121606326484101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DancingChromosome,2019/01/12,"I feel wrong calling me being neglected as a kid “abuse.” My family was really poor and as a result my parents were always working late. I remember my mom coming home at around 11 pm almost every night and I don’t remember much about my dad but I do know my siblings always cleaned buildings with him. My siblings were teenagers when I was around 5-8 and they never really paid attention to me. 

They were also very mean to me and would always say hurtful things to me regarding my appearance. My oldest brother would bully me and when I would cry about it nothing would really be done. I remember crying so hard one night about the hurtful things he said when I was 12-13 and my mom got annoyed by me crying and told me to stop because she was trying to sleep. 

The bullying would continue from my brothers and no one did anything about it, it’s as if my feelings didn’t matter. Throughout my entire life I was constantly invalidated and ignored and as a result I grew to be very lonely and to this day I’m numb to invalidation but it still pains me inside. 

Growing up I also remember having very poor hygiene. I didn’t actually start brushing my teeth until *freshman year* of high school. I didn’t start wearing deodorant until 8th grade. I didn’t really take care of myself because no one taught me how to make a habit out of doing it. No one has ever taught me girly stuff like when to put on lotion, or what to do during my periods (I learned how to at school). People say this is also a form of neglect and looking back I can see why. Basically I felt as if I had to raise myself. 

Here’s the thing, I was also very spoiled. I was the “little spoiled kid” in the house. My parents would buy me lots of things. They bought me toys, took me to school book fairs, and would take me out to eat. My siblings like to pretend that I had it all because I was given everything that I want but they never talk about how everyone basically treated me like shit. I don’t like calling my parents bad parents because they do love me, because they gave me everything I wanted. I don’t feel right calling all of this “abuse” when it was unintentional. I’m aware that “unintentional abuse” is a thing but I still feel wrong calling it abuse. I don’t feel right calling it that when my mom is very worried about mental health right now and she does care about me, she makes sure to give me my medication everyday and calls me on the phone when I’m at different places to check on me. I just don’t feel like me feeling neglected is valid. ",4.067455899012785,5.392676702594808,5.1179565193936485,82.4865609321897,71.39520958083833,7.971106435777093,27.91179802557048,8.441846121484758,1.936822689755623,1992,72,391,32,37,655,219,501,0.212,0.716,0.07200000000000001,-0.9979,5,2,0,0,4,0,39.0,0,0,6,1,31,24,2,0,12,0,46,11,4,7,6,76,85,44,0,11,8,10,9,5,0,7,5,3,2,2,23,21,1,5,16,3,6,6,14,14,0,4,31,15,82,10,53,44,5,53,0,6,2,1,38,18,1,6,34,274,105,9,0.0,0.2582878846896802,0.05318280655049964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054572510962277374,0.0,0.0,0.17433015590510176,0.13604169114481185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044847733284394384,0.0970306796344474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041906086561742696,0.04550408408339822,0.1661093112677504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338951998518722,0.0,0.11112998170651776,0.0,0.0,0.04694574868996013,0.0,0.058893663786948776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959257552359106,0.03514711122234322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569394744670536,0.0,0.0,0.04769212302910526,0.05577102545527357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557657095324609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929713575347119,0.0459174507646904,0.05207578153678792,0.0979597186681912,0.0,0.05137646312617029,0.0,0.1928930326329812,0.03893383596256311,0.0523272364353148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05228005696922517,0.0,0.0,0.04358753721117365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04882007262458665,0.0,0.0,0.057929500874992074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05758080039919604,0.05466657477393593,0.0,0.0,0.06288410803342734,0.11668383255712846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02995102470990032,0.0,0.061476834435395464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03849399784324594,0.13312640192685085,0.054621949896713005,0.0,0.0,0.04576512783747834,0.0,0.0,0.046332790860151504,0.04918714614585811,0.0,0.07275652453102276,0.0,0.0,0.059364990686825374,0.0,0.05490164153853636,0.054921806187598184,0.0,0.0,0.1914844290453133,0.0,0.0,0.04006276765417988,0.0,0.08406541458748372,0.0,0.0,0.10228655481964176,0.0,0.05229291042668587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771874291672515,0.0,0.05799039042088142,0.0,0.24205714018060215,0.0,0.0,0.037782491713350116,0.0,0.0569394744670536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05478618112154168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396528852154182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24694531977801595,0.13962461036558488,0.05184068225204877,0.08667900444439729,0.0,0.16546658546395962,0.04342835638862262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594206599042712,0.0,0.0,0.054537993583514466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714882916607962,0.0,0.08704536113198856,0.04556329941558802,0.0,0.0,0.062387898758118863,0.0,0.0,0.05136431882505214,0.0,0.0819523826448697,0.043803938699290265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103235843145832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05207578153678792,0.060549989106322775,0.03700099599848574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22483540849261016,0.06428941424638862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491765416566068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03967565558919855,0.0553460095950432,0.0,0.2709998682279124,0.1191714047685143,0.0,0.03509533433868642
mentalhealth,PghPerson15222,2019/01/12,"Zero emotional support and in a catch 22 Try to keep my sob story short. 
I'm in my mid 40's and I literally have zero friends or family that I can get emotional support from if ANYTHING bad (or good) happens in my life. Because of this I finally realized after many many years that I just shut down because I can't afford to risk getting emotional about anything.
I work for myself and can literally spend days at home not even seeing people at all.  

Anyway, I've been way overweight up and down my whole life. Got up to 280lb last time
but started keto 2 years ago and I currently weigh 184lb. I obviously feel 100x better 
and realize I can actually maintain this for the rest of my life and intend to. 

Only problem is  I'm more depressed than ever since my ultimate goal was to finally get more interest from women and actually have the confidence to meet them. 

Well now I can get an occasional woman's interest who I really like on dating apps..
but if they ask  to meet up I have to act like a coward and vanish. Why?
Because now that I lost the weight I have terrible loose skin on my upper thighs and mid section.
I feel horrible about myself and honestly can't even look at it in the mirror (I hate everything about the way I look that I literally can go many days without looking in a mirror) so could
hardly let someone else. 

You're going to say.. tell the women..what do you have to lose.. maybe they won't care.
Well remember.. I have zero support network if I get rejected. It's not like I have women
beating down my door. I occasionally match up with someone. There is no way I could handle the rejection of someone hating my body that I already hate when I have no one that
I can even hug that would say ""everything's going to be alright"".


It kills me. There i nothing I can do so I just crawl into a ball even more.


I've tried and tried to make friends at my age which is near impossible and the very few
I have (mostly work acquaintances) I realize we just dont have that type of relationship to let them in on my personal life.

So I just crawl into my ball even more.




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mentalhealth,delicious_water,2019/01/12,"Hearing your name being called all the time? hey, im really not sure if this is the right sub but it might be worth ago,,

For a while now I've always heard people calling my name when im alone and no one could possibly have done so, recently it's been getting pretty bad, even ending in me asking people if they wanted something because it felt so damn real.

Is this normal? Any experiences out there?

Some background: diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD. Not sure if any of these would really affect it, also been going through a lot of shit recently and feeling lower than before so maybe it's just stress?


thanks guys

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mentalhealth,francisco213,2019/01/12,"Seeking affordable mental health services to improve quality of life. If anyone knows how plz help. Hello from Los Angeles CA I just saw a thread that conducted a study that people who have been bullied and or suffered sexual abuse supposedly live a lower quality of life as someone suffering from depression, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, anxiety etc. I just want to improve my situation as this is seemingly true and felt depression since my adolescence. Picture going through a bad break up that never heals everyday, that’s what it feels like. Anyway thanks to anyone who reads this hope to hear positive things soon, take care.",8.918452380952381,10.537452564814817,8.564179894179897,61.14166666666668,60.38888888888889,12.83809523809524,40.42857142857143,12.28987398476788,5.992157142857144,519,27,72,18,7,166,85,108,0.21,0.579,0.211,-0.4451,2,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,0,4,0,3,5,0,1,2,15,15,7,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,11,2,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,4,4,5,12,12,1,6,1,4,1,0,5,1,0,4,4,45,15,2,0.0,0.22454079447726286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449762024168607,0.0,0.0,0.2650224687416277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823464897429845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932201691349573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32645290843498986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113560352027304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582298858627852,0.13538744907969186,0.18196129107800324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770406746456747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20144245117450876,0.21359385791549226,0.0,0.12702593489948386,0.0,0.0,0.18822823020962068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041508685836994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677159362302472,0.0925860168485056,0.0,0.16734261550081686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909835764895599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616337891506426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138379629132016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895633384233328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725246561773758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156766329242193,0.21301948868143586,0.0,0.0,0.16057294816958625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424894793690563,0.0,0.0,0.1744772373641348,0.0,0.0,0.1259033876470982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177911940163666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ravenispretty,2019/01/12,"Information needed please I apologize if this isn't allowed but I really need some info ..

Today I apparently had two anxiety attacks one after the other. I felt very faint and almost hungry, but much more than I've ever felt. I began seeing spots and my head felt like it was being squeezed, at this point I told my uncle. 

I blacked out and at some point I started seeing something. The image was blurred cause everything was spinning at a tremendous speed. It felt like sleep paralysis (I used to get this constantly so I know the feeling) and it felt like I was going insane. So I started screaming and saying ""No"" and ""Stop"".  I woke up on the floor with my uncle holding me and he helped me up so we could walk back to the car.

As we walked out the shop it happened again. Again I blacked out and I felt like I was being thrown around. I woke up with my uncle holding me again and we went to the car. I was okay after that. 

He said i really was screaming and my muscles pulled stiff and i scratched him and scratched myself. We went to a doctor and she told me its anxiety attacks. 

I researched those and nothing came up with fainting or anything. I'd just like to know if it really is that or if there could be something else. I don't have funds for a proper doctor right now.

Oh and I'm not under weight, I had eaten well throughout the day and had plenty of fluids. It was quite hot but I've been in worse and I've been fine. I just started my last year of school so I'd understand the anxiety but I don't know how that caused me to faint (from what I researched as I mentioned earlier).

Any information and advice would be greatly appreciated. 

And again, apologies if this is against the rules. ",2.1715645666550643,4.4814246005917155,3.3338043856595903,88.86719108945354,79.62130177514793,5.869961712495649,23.550643926209545,7.048011613610866,0.8948570135746609,1337,46,266,16,34,431,166,338,0.085,0.823,0.091,0.0011,2,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,4,0,0,1,17,13,2,0,13,1,26,10,2,5,1,77,59,36,0,9,13,0,12,5,0,1,6,4,0,0,17,31,2,4,14,1,2,9,5,4,1,2,29,20,45,9,33,23,4,47,0,0,4,0,18,18,0,10,25,187,62,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853267099579988,0.0,0.0,0.09072219756827793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061610688955291065,0.0,0.207924845879415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455557473484575,0.0806526613194093,0.0,0.2061397608167283,0.0,0.0696653351170837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362156111073452,0.0,0.1861410514062295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790574975178552,0.0,0.14467247443571488,0.0,0.0,0.058429108575776524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18546462025810054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568416116285279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195233113733923,0.0,0.0,0.0814248858449237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04580977153803956,0.0,0.5219377080194931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04733443959504754,0.0,0.051489718668365055,0.0,0.0,0.09988614240628636,0.0,0.0,0.08011673742757243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298110749159774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060726858377119164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493731587492208,0.07385059135734083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213114171255595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660097287381342,0.13435659280059253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693255390849397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061392488375202024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945091884254664,0.17129140729705156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636359862493904,0.0,0.0,0.17412085892819193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737138022801975,0.08618076270295959,0.07204826777772742,0.0,0.09169141504096699,0.14439196067330046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066481533681288,0.0,0.0,0.13949566655468135,0.0,0.0,0.1923801342017537,0.0,0.0,0.07574514308679849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587762398770132,0.1731431908774973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850243507097151,0.09431715551033737,0.0,0.07824878009540515,0.0,0.07475398140910405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032564397612846,0.08145972815292991,0.16797307615154686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923285139914741,0.06435920406716053,0.0,0.0,0.05834303387285825
mentalhealth,Kemphy,2019/01/12,"Support group on discord, small active community <3 Safe Haven is a self-harm and depression support group for anyone of any age. We offer support to the families, friends, and care providers of those suffering from mental illness as well as the patients themselves. At Safe Haven all server members are welcomed into a tight knit family of people ready to love each other back to health! We are not professionals just people here to support each other. Please join us on Discord at the link below:  
 

https://discord.gg/Ev53NWN  
 

Once you’ve joined say hi in the chat to and speak to a mod to get full access to the server. Read the server rules and you're all set. Hope to see you soon. <3 ",6.353809523809524,8.031828031746034,5.696984126984128,79.15357142857142,66.30158730158729,7.822222222222222,29.079365079365076,8.167268648758528,2.0570698412698407,556,19,94,7,9,169,85,126,0.094,0.625,0.281,0.979,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,3,1,0,0,5,14,0,0,9,0,3,3,0,0,2,18,12,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,9,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,4,12,23,12,5,13,0,2,1,1,14,9,0,1,3,57,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471699022732586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767185607790117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840711961414507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700083348577648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262947379564358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903320025251806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897059884152525,0.0,0.08045227431375544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368183961026164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294463906520062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898000923064135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518349261982226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639919904033608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135115150412198,0.0,0.0,0.16903237203029478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540294797590316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245728591431553,0.0,0.0,0.1227083464827243,0.0,0.1606428677285409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6989741608598229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18522837357200092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13845353300790214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheAtype,2019/01/12,"Do I do stuff when I feel good? Or do I feel good when I do stuff? And does physical health age to mental health? Just as the title says. I’m almost going to shit again because I feel highly confused/a lil depressed. I was wondering, do I become able to do stuff when I feel good? Or do I feel good when I actually do stuff?

Also: does physical health affect mental health?",1.2303947368421078,3.4436525657894776,3.175526315789476,89.21618421052631,82.55263157894737,5.905263157894738,18.71052631578948,7.1686216300943375,0.3448473684210529,289,7,60,4,8,97,37,76,0.08900000000000001,0.7490000000000001,0.162,0.6868,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,1,0,9,5,1,1,0,12,17,9,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,6,10,4,4,16,0,8,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,4,6,38,14,0,0.11621001123969273,0.0,0.11340420747428502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636753975520787,0.0,0.0,0.09293310400286164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084054422938907,0.12834482725735258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000915123965498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033923279226026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937963670146905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604482744827732,0.3898857755248621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4941032308907105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278225724709285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23422471688652696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924148652661182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928790655481004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5321306394714088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602480000225727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,photoedfade,2019/01/12,"i feel overly obsessed with someone i am obsessing over my friend and i hate it. and not in the good way of obsessing, thee bad way. it is affecting my self esteem terribly. they decided to have their notifications off all the time and now they don't even know when i am texting them even if they are on the app. (discord is what i am talking about) i was obsessing over this person even when i was in a relationship with another person (now ex) and i am starting to feel dumb, and hated, and i am starting to feel like i am not worthy of them, and i feel like i am annoying them or they don't like me anymore and i am fuck i keep shaking every time i think about how terrible i am and i hate it!!",1.7200954907161832,3.4844701448275863,3.8965517241379333,86.99246684350136,78.58620689655173,7.49602122015915,24.94694960212201,8.384062270229773,1.5857161803713526,541,20,118,11,13,186,75,145,0.29,0.644,0.066,-0.9878,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,8,0,10,19,6,5,4,0,17,1,0,2,1,26,30,14,0,1,4,1,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,11,0,1,7,0,0,1,4,14,0,0,2,4,29,5,16,28,1,18,0,0,0,1,16,7,2,2,11,93,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443348260813093,0.0,0.0,0.15551766363141947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130933403235953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107231291482739,0.0,0.13212282408588688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171601184739053,0.22405635653563644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115435109745346,0.14497230773200792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152840776807134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4644650133227341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938376872635358,0.0,0.0,0.08618104670525893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298346605490652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738484232262989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835988863998924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359153091269674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328682605722413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22198795914385525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604140671253838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048028143551356,0.0,0.0,0.18287937677546495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489438089469625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sofishticated14,2019/01/12,"Hard to Describe Hey guys, I have been having this very strange feeling lately and I wanted to see if anyone knew anything about it. 

Lately I’ve noticed that I’ll be going about my day as normal and all of a sudden I’ll get this feeling that I can’t remember at all what has happened that day. It’s almost as if I had been dreaming the entire day and just at that moment had woken up or that everything up to that moment didn’t really happen. It’s a very disturbing feeling and it causes mountains of anxiety when it happens. 

FWIW, I’ve felt very disconnected from my memories in general as of late, but this is downright weird. I can objectively report what I’ve done, but it doesn’t feel like I’ve committed it to memory or something? It’s difficult to describe so I wanted to reach out in hopes someone may be familiar with the sensation. 

Thanks for reading!",4.1797300944669376,5.709970274853803,5.6183625730994144,78.21016194331986,71.39766081871346,8.536392262708052,29.528115159694103,9.057496981413335,2.6419254161043635,691,28,125,14,13,233,101,171,0.07,0.815,0.116,0.8299,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,4,0,16,0,0,1,3,31,33,15,0,6,7,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,19,6,0,0,7,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,9,7,8,3,24,21,2,18,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,7,11,86,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848149709052107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579455639114473,0.0,0.0,0.09669840307165377,0.0,0.1138042053925706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420660662972717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675646306897015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415228099850208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428975922616475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797024725591809,0.09879728450280402,0.13278395867071272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225292414383748,0.0,0.07859568569862513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693283480437346,0.3668788688444801,0.0,0.12388428946936242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373571785116724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4680050772201662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756347881389624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354987893184617,0.0,0.15744867269135315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833145690253346,0.0,0.08859469848753114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566601800950466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020243897214628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717608501824005,0.10646550271003916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732256480422438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423211805871011,0.16313880697310404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,joshgoesplat,2019/01/12,"I work in a Mental Health Facility (Asylum), ask me anything. I have been working in Mental Health for many years and boy I have seen it ALL. I love my job and my patients. I am a Mental Health Counselor. I have counseled youth, adults, and elderly. I'm not going to say where im from or which asylum I have worked at due to better protecting HIPPA Law. If you are curious about Mental Health facilities, please go ahead and ask. ",2.02059523809524,4.478536059523808,3.5023809523809533,86.57595238095242,81.26190476190476,6.114285714285715,21.238095238095237,7.3871296695380915,0.8510095238095237,335,10,65,5,9,110,58,84,0.0,0.855,0.145,0.8934,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,5,2,2,0,0,2,0,7,5,0,0,1,9,14,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,11,2,9,12,1,10,0,0,1,1,7,4,0,2,4,40,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145696219104008,0.0,0.2603115934792673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313245655336374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824859833989968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5919550912969358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038598496405034,0.0,0.1381584972421379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565524105860484,0.0,0.0,0.14115144724990786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5612208340294411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528263206467802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107166409480516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040705422775622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965579509904781
mentalhealth,nobodyiswatchingyou,2019/01/12,"Does anyone feel like you want to hide and be alone for a few days after social interactions? Is it just me or does anyone feel anxious after spending a day with people(even with close friends). I tend to overthink afterwards (aka if I looked stupid from what I said/done) and feel like shit. I can compare my social interactions with drinking, it’s fun while it lasts but then you feel this hangover like feeling, just in my case, bad anxiety. ",5.518353413654619,7.067433626506027,5.017048192771085,83.73151606425706,68.1566265060241,7.461044176706826,29.49598393574297,7.793537801064563,1.841065863453815,353,13,65,4,6,107,60,83,0.175,0.693,0.132,-0.5927,0,1,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,2,8,2,0,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,17,11,7,0,2,5,0,5,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,5,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,9,5,10,10,1,10,0,0,1,0,7,2,1,2,11,39,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868616947560295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802153488651095,0.20382432162808814,0.0,0.2523090500739845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064395921244647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23271317711658845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157751828685956,0.0,0.0,0.1767438465501226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916633758568936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4561312733265746,0.2577855291397147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939278040642578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706715681291954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26443369204240363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150815998550754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162164188186038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851995151001519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678328804091209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641695237481406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mra1993,2019/01/12,"Online Councelling at Germany Hello everyone...

I am looking for a psychologist/psychiatrist who does online councelling. I hail from Kolkata, and currently studying at Germany. I would like to consult someone who does online councelling from Kolkata.

Any help would be immensely appreciated.

Thank You.",7.351149068322978,11.524672934782608,6.2119875776397535,62.23021739130437,80.52173913043478,7.845962732919254,43.52795031055901,8.418075326091056,5.621568944099379,249,17,27,6,7,75,33,46,0.0,0.745,0.255,0.8834,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,6,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,2,18,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22161497868827945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5703734759328012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113998983535307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21843582101179648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921238934803952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27366379795298074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761237993915425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30003383656780896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630028938026839,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayzepis,2019/01/12,"My mental health assessment nurse asked why I haven't killed myself yet. Sorry if this isn't the right place to post, just need to get it out of my system.

I am pretty unwell mentally as well a somewhat physically and receive help in order to get financial support for myself while I take on therapy and generally attempting to fix myself into a healthy person.

Last week the nurse asked me all sorts of things, about self harm and such - the usual.
But he suddenly asked me why I haven't killed myself yet, I responded honestly and said that nothing is really too much standing in my way..

The nurse responded with ""why don't you kill yourself then?""

I started crying immediately and said because I'd make people sad, even if I don't really believe those words.
What he said keeps repeating in my head over and over, why not? I don't have reasons, hearing someone vocally ask me that, I don't know what to think.
I think its weird that such a simple thing has fucked me up so badly, its been a week and I still can't stop thinking about it.",6.1699589490968805,6.3461404088669955,6.643953201970444,77.55916461412156,66.09359605911331,9.91937602627258,30.709770114942533,9.725611199111238,2.7385405582922826,825,28,157,16,12,269,125,203,0.099,0.762,0.139,0.8164,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,1,12,11,4,0,8,0,13,3,1,2,1,29,34,14,3,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,13,10,0,2,5,0,0,1,9,8,1,0,4,4,24,3,21,30,3,30,0,1,0,1,17,11,1,4,13,105,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3925740595239154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765515298837898,0.06399573746076627,0.0,0.0,0.11827818105435176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531722921284475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933927922995924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705368912184616,0.10969698353637858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077412884250901,0.1115904069716341,0.1183217608426686,0.0,0.07036687494983898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933123654457222,0.34843936897360783,0.0,0.05769507739774225,0.08557392010536914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007595490748839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21159328533890565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717346912046155,0.07784243921836018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007325640322269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278094171384847,0.09166578138303616,0.10968330526860158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005432408797432,0.10680390944645883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450765206470933,0.10793844887328112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965361263036882,0.2995842917416167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951858208339946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895046962746,0.0,0.0,0.11751817493995505,0.07430643380309529,0.0,0.0838383477070895,0.08776922031017897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913174249923653,0.0,0.0,0.07893300989568851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005547471266112,0.0,0.13949006462869115,0.20180368547375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562227153948745,0.0,0.0,0.08332941449414605,0.16841962609867486,0.0,0.09439096073089204,0.0,0.3789178373043609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Soberisminthecity,2019/01/12,"Perfectionism is on the rise but with negative consequences for mental health How perfectionism is linked to addiction, anxiety, depression, OCD, hoarding, eating disorders and a whole host of other conditions.  

[perfectionism is bad for you head](https://soberism.co.uk/2019/01/12/perfectionism-mental-health-dry-jan-12/)
",14.322857142857142,19.46039485714286,10.419285714285717,39.06321428571431,52.80952380952381,15.628571428571426,43.83333333333334,13.023866798666859,8.786076190476193,272,14,25,12,4,78,34,42,0.328,0.583,0.08900000000000001,-0.936,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,5,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,3,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,18,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687442536498245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858787324876589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058347192632592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123281569364271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282534398118761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25225250430473745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25300164451233564,0.5240805430919576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4968703265111918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752318679265055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheFluffThatcould,2019/01/12,"I'v recently been feeling nothing but anger and self hate When i was child/teen i got bullied allot and felt vile and angry all the time. but after leaving highschool i got back on track, Recently I've been thinking about my future and i just keep falling to fits of self hate and anger. I snap at people for no reason i can't sleep and when i do sleep i have horrible dreams. i'm planning on seeing someone about my problems but i don't think it's going to help. I'm on breaking point and i'm using all my energy trying to control myself.

​

I don't know why. I'm usually a chill person but i just can't keep my emotion in control it's just insanity in my head. And what could be causing this sudden spew of anger and vile thinking, I'v started biting my finger and myself like i used to in the past. The pain helps me control myself. ",1.6438214515093108,3.9264155433526033,3.3005298651252453,88.51787251123959,81.42774566473989,5.231727681438664,23.48394348105331,6.42735559955562,0.7262552344251767,671,24,131,6,18,222,98,173,0.256,0.603,0.141,-0.984,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,4,8,10,7,0,4,0,11,5,4,7,2,37,32,16,0,2,7,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,10,0,5,7,1,0,2,5,9,0,0,6,4,22,1,17,24,3,24,0,0,1,0,5,9,0,1,13,82,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406011680574886,0.15034405015511906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951398195989442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710357325478278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41631715276210185,0.09878738899062206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917826078090653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256100530734633,0.0,0.1187990634065096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031793555683838,0.0,0.19791446862610007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443131736602709,0.1269814575354183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586563004684238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21995170734594824,0.0,0.0,0.06799811964080801,0.0,0.0,0.13101094755912515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044764807382396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872113271585215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316561801824705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811315187507612,0.0857779797765313,0.10803522675741764,0.0,0.0,0.11696372063452845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839176375857198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721382640203938,0.2443345514603183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859584445339792,0.0,0.2581522716768232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24763633622428935,0.0,0.1048350214375616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757589041768718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378412815741717,0.0,0.0,0.07214726565310815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400374201228675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21372393629062453,0.1362698068516972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164600862493353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034405015511906,0.0
mentalhealth,thrwaway86554,2019/01/12,"I have no idea what to put as a title. General anxiety question. I've (30sM) suffered anxiety for a few years, I'm on meds and was coping well but these past few months I've been really anxious and stressed.


I was under the impression I was doing well and then one of my few friends cut all ties with me, stating that they feel I'm depressed and trying to bring them down with me. (I'm anxious but I in no way thought I was depressed). 


They said our relationship was one sided and that I no longer have enough time for them (my life has become very busy this past year but I still spoke to this person almost every day). So there's no point to them in continuing the friendship. 
They also used some things I'd told them in confidence in a way to make me feel bad about myself basically I hadn't seen this side of this person. 

They themselves have suffered mental health issues too so now these past few months that we havent been talking, I've been stressing that this person is right. That I haven't been a good friend but at the same time I'm angry because I think this friend is wrong too. I'm conflicted and reliving past conversations and trying to figure out what I did wrong.


So, How do you know if this person is just going through their own stuff or if your anxiety has made you act in ways you didn't realise? ",4.9148076072534295,5.429798954887222,5.1958115877930116,85.6803029632906,68.84962406015039,8.213710747456878,26.925254312251216,8.124751697461798,1.4697220698805835,1046,30,218,13,17,331,145,266,0.231,0.705,0.064,-0.9933,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,2,4,9,0,14,17,1,2,7,0,24,2,0,4,1,37,43,21,0,2,8,0,2,0,3,0,2,2,0,4,18,11,0,1,8,0,0,4,8,10,2,2,18,5,32,7,25,25,9,37,0,4,1,0,29,14,0,6,15,149,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890512098927004,0.0,0.0,0.0789873182388054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266791655140594,0.22316675522707255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246985272283691,0.060210026032108274,0.10908506525907984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369927325264713,0.0,0.17014303412110654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205708547452952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321902260535151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988340489769787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289312256032677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056133967111691836,0.08284462291073763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498920045752676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150069801961228,0.0,0.10309150423622618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054282085805671836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976504190321497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345972754418384,0.06593056407532491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971257194587003,0.0,0.09953817022801972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767650948785505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385988552607256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3771532671037869,0.0,0.3449729186547649,0.0,0.0,0.0933707395612132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992923685720034,0.11064638426896524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327538015558433,0.0,0.0,0.10604333865478076,0.0,0.08435009212381413,0.09395405965192588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887883315709135,0.0,0.22628422420752695,0.0,0.11306942939098685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938857458574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561921743352776,0.06328861701244308,0.0,0.0784133250500198,0.11518859890579412,0.0,0.0,0.09438014455789052,0.0,0.1341183655076226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530663134316463,0.0,0.08149661024395558,0.0,0.23520001870478324,0.0,0.0,0.17761439834291953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21598167281030145,0.0,0.12721086963823333
mentalhealth,kind_of_stopwatch,2019/01/12,"how do i tell my parents about my mental health? i’m 99% sure i struggle with depression, and some symptoms of bpd, and have done for a number of years, however i haven’t gotten professional help.

every time i try and bring it up, the response is always something like “you’re a teenager! its normal!” “you probably haven’t eaten/drank/slept enough!” “everyone feels tired at this time of year!”.

i’m not sure what angle to take. i know it’s only getting worse but i know how easily i could lose their trust if they even start to suspect that i might be a danger to myself. i just need them to know that there’s probably something chemically wrong with my brain and it needs help. 

how did you tell your parents? does anyone have any suggestions?",1.9723774509803924,4.6339802083333375,2.9551960784313733,88.96235294117649,83.72222222222223,5.8882352941176475,20.97058823529412,7.285733465282438,0.8058656862745089,586,18,113,9,17,186,99,144,0.16399999999999998,0.7090000000000001,0.127,-0.8252,3,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,3,1,7,9,1,1,4,0,11,4,1,3,2,26,24,9,0,5,4,2,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,3,1,19,4,13,18,2,8,0,2,0,0,13,2,0,3,6,70,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410832075874106,0.0,0.0,0.0932573321729257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588883357069627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271826835637016,0.15308937514428053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094921127608321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811522530231275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000883023008548,0.14033796569582632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169837403911753,0.0,0.0905771799198873,0.0,0.11554317995143823,0.13103953501364285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693401932932274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716480148394046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576938903679876,0.0,0.0,0.18383903506103755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22609944020109746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699783005353578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342035204666404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820105493468493,0.1454798579184951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336953890452047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343643787825648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429827487294213,0.0,0.0,0.30454708657220025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29571207912791986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111483239866676,0.0,0.0,0.0970657223226535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336455256588754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584985287401793,0.14253704105736015,0.1031093705954034,0.0,0.2397262015340475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993046535576996,0.15761791128902067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310649149370977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975352401242827,0.0,0.14993692851980533,0.0,0.17662245893097214
mentalhealth,shortwave1903,2019/01/12,"What is going on? Hello, r/mentalhealth! This isn't much, but I'm in a bit of a maze with this.  Around last year, it start with me hearing my family say nasty things about me. Especially when a loud noise comes up (like when I vacuum), I specifically remember turning on the vacuum, and hearing my Ma screaming ""Turn that fucking thing off fuck you you stupid ass bitch"", and so I turned it off, and heard nothin. She would've never said that, and that's what confused me. I'll sit in my room, and I'll hear my family talking flak about me, and saying awful disgusting things, and I'll go out there, and it's as if if they weren't saying anything of the sort. I clean and do everything I can to to keep and words from being spoken, but I always hear them, but never catch them saying that. I'm honeschooled, so I'll be in my room, and I'll hear a bunch of walking and opening and closing doors, but nobody there. All my life I've dealt with dining in my ears, and when I was younger, I'd also see glowing transparent white cockroaches. More recently, I hear cars pulling up and down the driveway. I've grown paranoid that someone is watching me through my windows, and that my phone screens are being Bluetooth to other tv's in the house, and it sounds like it when I play sound, but then I go out there, and nothing, but regular tv is on. I don't know what to do. It's a big mess. I have relative good relations with my folks, but I'm a bit alien to what is happening around me. I get tired and upset about yelling and loud noise, and I can't fathom anything of the sort, so I just sleep all day. I'm in a good house hold, but I just don't understand why all this is happening. ",5.0652616279069775,4.819020584302329,5.627883720930235,85.348511627907,68.44767441860465,9.089302325581397,29.11860465116279,8.697196308434329,1.8967702325581404,1307,41,286,19,20,423,168,344,0.138,0.812,0.051,-0.9862,1,0,0,0,1,0,51.0,0,2,3,0,18,14,5,2,12,1,19,8,3,0,5,58,48,41,0,2,12,1,0,2,0,0,2,19,8,0,23,32,1,2,3,3,0,9,7,9,0,0,4,24,38,5,37,41,8,45,0,0,5,3,22,23,4,5,14,182,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190581040606517,0.07481733342875642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14798644973138886,0.1600886459865098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19633001622570131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745469135032802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798839570247264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081072286565083,0.0,0.16952964667320586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625182713062467,0.046977410412356715,0.0,0.15330404246427254,0.1508345866401339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902488282243749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6080513509809053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750203434763603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992149185465597,0.0,0.0,0.049415494251719164,0.07329355896191972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351034555822181,0.08785685315125565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609862213057068,0.0,0.13869755881651155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627684827562486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878122429680957,0.0,0.10185732498449224,0.0,0.0855307276009336,0.2860193190285749,0.0,0.0,0.0716514281654684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998095839891634,0.0,0.0761855537563674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364302325394394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227109262415084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792086291689617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334524024928712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934084361025478,0.0,0.09360575008896416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113522442349749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638737622995319,0.0,0.0,0.05790297023467991
mentalhealth,engineerbpd,2019/01/12,"Does any one else get anxious about whether or not they're being social enough? Part of what I'm trying to do is to be social, like at least once a week get out and do something, either with others or even if it's just for myself. I've been pretty good about it, but when I see like multiple events on multiple days I'm just not sure if I should go or stay home and chill. Ex., first week of school was this week, went out to a campus event, worked, exercised, did pretty well. I'm just feeling like I haven't been social in a long time, went in to pretty deep depression this past Spring where I just didn't even want to socialize because I didn't feel like myself. Couldn't stop kicking myself in the teeth over going to a meetup this morning, a hike with a group of people. Sounded fun, but it was also a 2 hour drive and agh I guess I wanted to know that I'm putting myself out there still but at the same time it's been a long week and it sounds like a pretty long day just for one hike. Hard to explain I guess",4.320208483105676,4.2726855140186935,4.7804672897196285,90.10878145219269,70.02803738317758,7.519194823867719,23.470884255930986,6.67199483983844,0.488116894320632,796,15,180,5,13,253,119,214,0.054000000000000006,0.7509999999999999,0.195,0.9848,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,15,10,0,0,11,0,16,2,1,0,1,39,35,15,0,6,17,1,3,5,0,1,1,2,1,0,11,9,0,1,4,1,0,6,6,1,1,3,10,6,12,9,27,21,5,39,0,1,1,0,7,12,0,7,25,113,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961826325637293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770435626088009,0.0,0.0,0.11247469760918123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069097938993358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841619693266842,0.0,0.08575106222075213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712580991790428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316977942567859,0.0,0.0,0.10287231013366957,0.0,0.13151715828693308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006812663527146,0.14225166656468632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468586300990592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403220012935717,0.0,0.11316472240799688,0.0835063798006191,0.0,0.0,0.21935358970713548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918639174591213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986700738212446,0.0,0.0980467510979468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471568720328753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432004459573947,0.0,0.0,0.2643229562598818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602837341005482,0.13492914866486516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781400439622882,0.09504148506942836,0.06902251319852584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051541008307494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100085508871356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076024688674937,0.07933659655815754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059563811056855,0.0,0.07664631304578197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611793600554847,0.07950891160362808,0.08323679282829269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383431884093424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610871714984522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759484668295937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174463817000966,0.0,0.3194447774801095,0.0,0.08951658469170183,0.1845866225948705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248101798955711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dexter011001,2019/01/12,"My parents don't want to get me a psychotherapist and think I invented social anxiety. Background: Ive had social anxiety since I was young. I realised that I had it and didn't really care until it started to get worse. I have difficulty being in public(breathlessness and heart palpitation) and avoid going to specific places which affects my school performance.

​

Fortunately I met a very cool english teacher who also suffers from social anxiety. He explained to me that I should get help and resolve it as soon as possible since it can get worse when you grow up. He recommended me to consult a psychotherapist and get medication.

​

I talked to my parents (who don't understand why I hate going out and think I am just shy) to get me a psychotherapist for my social anxiety.

​

# OH BOI WAS THAT A MISTAKE

​

I don't blame them because in my country mentall illness is seen in a negative way and we don't have enough awarness of it. However, their responses were stupid. They said that its in ""my head"" and its okay to feel shy. I told them its not shyness since I experience it every time I go out. They laughed and said that its not a problem and they know more than me(because ofc the person who is not sick knows more than the sick person). They also asked if my friends suffer from it(they compare me to other teens)

​

I screamed at them to do their research atleast before doing any assumptions(which is the most logical thing to do in any scenarios). But they did not and don't want to. 

​

Now they feel annoyed by me(because God forsake me for taking care of my mental health) and angry towards me.

Why do I even exist smh?

​

​

​",5.534190476190479,7.647678800000001,5.619238095238097,77.2174285714286,68.93650793650794,8.3415873015873,33.55238095238095,8.954980946260402,3.1380057142857147,1382,66,232,26,25,435,162,315,0.17,0.7290000000000001,0.101,-0.9653,3,1,0,0,0,0,70.0,1,1,11,2,7,16,3,1,10,2,26,7,2,1,0,41,56,21,0,6,7,2,2,0,1,1,5,3,0,2,21,16,0,1,10,0,0,4,11,9,0,0,12,7,45,7,34,42,4,23,0,2,1,0,36,11,0,2,7,166,66,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613426003514315,0.0,0.464188624402363,0.5205724080466553,0.06474169184625139,0.0,0.14566093998043012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0445012429154237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705281836747793,0.0,0.04050561273305022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970663839657258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049185368342644566,0.0,0.031440529843820016,0.0,0.04010655664844173,0.0,0.0,0.046563679491977886,0.0,0.0,0.04813778522449448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036777020769224185,0.0,0.14921980685208966,0.0,0.08115957366658827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04699690735225336,0.04885316420591032,0.05059847116437563,0.0,0.05640834404986949,0.03190647287433685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523213919414803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04795379011221109,0.09594280581410217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571229721095972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312808460764047,0.04973373347636853,0.0,0.0,0.053663859937029615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0455484791857237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030494922184996137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056039587609196,0.0,0.0,0.04817554744304825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813006459350332,0.0,0.0,0.1940960994244748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033692788207764404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0357906179707688,0.03826051140929011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03162451058461432,0.061002603105503275,0.0,0.0,0.027756983455443647,0.0,0.0,0.04548554519980315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04955513662812915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03927645763043356,0.056153531858320886,0.0377840810052618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590641339531052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702057066422376,0.0,0.0,0.5205724080466553,0.0
mentalhealth,triggywinkle,2019/01/12,"My lack of self care resulted in me fainting in bath. I've suffered a major set back that is my abrupt breakup of a wholesome relationship that left me so numb that I had completely ignored my health. I've been skipping meals, working long hours, dehydration and crying myself to sleep. 
This morning when I was in a bath, my head started spinning and I fell head first onto the floor. The door was locked so my grandmother (I was at her place) had break in to pick me up. I was stark naked and unconscious. I've never been this terrified nor have I ever felt like that. 

Please help me out of my reluctance of self care",5.167128099173553,6.005385247933887,5.326931818181818,83.81039772727273,68.42148760330579,8.694628099173555,30.001033057851238,8.841846274778883,2.2142305785123964,489,18,98,8,8,154,77,121,0.161,0.735,0.104,-0.8205,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,5,0,10,7,3,2,2,11,14,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,3,2,6,4,1,1,1,2,0,1,2,3,0,1,9,1,18,3,14,5,2,23,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,0,10,65,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300301474283206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792270697702424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19499086642331315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20428440378992085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822470455565888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17856481426357734,0.0,0.0,0.15818992947820254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817272582721029,0.1976823403795044,0.0,0.0,0.12465487762592385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314755368244687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20206198502112252,0.0,0.0,0.09085781269198977,0.0,0.0,0.16458169964499553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434351034414068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19430391083319906,0.2041443020338152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996671588656772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880242076148103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610894360123395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316338038195748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539174918646327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GOuma,2019/01/12,"Effects of reading? I was looking for things to force myself to do to distract myself from social media. I think a lot of my issues come from that, i usually just sit around and do nothing and lead myself to just showing myself stuff which never helps and makes me unhappy
So, i was thinking maybe something like reading is a good thing to get into? I don't feel like I have much to do outside of the house, or any activities that i need to attend due to the fact that I'm not a busy person. Does anybody have any experience with reading helping them? I feel like it could be a good alternative to games or tv",4.803360655737702,5.489277491803278,5.736188524590165,81.0988729508197,69.1639344262295,7.739344262295082,30.004098360655732,7.6454224807358475,1.8887344262295078,482,18,93,5,8,159,78,122,0.059,0.81,0.131,0.8341,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,2,4,6,0,1,6,0,11,0,0,3,2,24,21,6,0,2,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,0,5,6,0,3,3,1,0,0,2,3,15,5,18,17,2,9,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,3,6,70,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21219903071692028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889161805298186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439813099984474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245699381358756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653488073771405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261831090660868,0.0,0.0,0.1577776402531325,0.2229226258837824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151444474908039,0.0,0.0,0.26172574160651274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091549486722908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002709137946726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628452122271662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286716915373759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101820330839584,0.0,0.0,0.13264333127874414,0.0,0.0,0.10414511630852977,0.0,0.15674389550662068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469326287588455,0.11568746935861544,0.1203328833554331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497061953853109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623137174871966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4681891577824716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904358918214348,0.0,0.12011245830084165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17860652400015714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073066149982208,0.19994369750079827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183490304531782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,putututumatu,2019/01/12,"I feel like I am the most unproductive person ever an am just wasting time Hi all, Im 17 years old and think about things that I should not care about. I am quite a happy person, if I am with my friends or with my gf. I do okay at high school and I also go rowing a couple times a week and am trying to make music with a couple of friends. I have never been ""the best"" at something, although all my friends that I have and like, are really talented. My gf is an amazing kannel player (an estonian instrument) and she also sings and she does amazing at school, all her grades are A's, I am not jealous of her, I am happy for her. I have friends who are really talented musician, singers, they perform a lot. Also the friends I have made at rowing are all the best rowets in their age class. Meanwhile I have never won any award for rowing, I haven't gotten to perform with playing my guitar, it's really difficult to make songs with my friends, although I love doing the things I do, I am not succesfull. Ofcourse my musical friends have all finished the music school and so has my gf. I feel so lost, as I want to make music, I want to row, but I am just stuck while everybody else is having fun and being sucessful with what they are doind and love.",4.571585968379445,4.917846956521738,5.548416501976284,83.44697257905139,69.55335968379447,8.380335968379446,28.46072134387352,8.278499904357787,1.8186128458498017,972,32,200,13,16,321,121,253,0.07,0.7290000000000001,0.2,0.9816,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,3,8,10,28,1,0,15,1,31,2,0,4,8,43,48,21,0,4,8,0,2,2,10,1,0,1,0,2,7,15,0,0,3,4,0,1,6,3,0,0,6,3,38,25,23,40,9,18,0,1,0,2,24,6,0,4,13,151,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24561559271324016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962073320094837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21487935286177104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043814677705228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22655921340031476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959191257706091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552390634164528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926070050190289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353105723458578,0.07313905538905982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5536803733477664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05818392923025865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179671408200332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816826150376448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058609805284922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100033701211836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175797373133184,0.08703834269782175,0.1848007686604977,0.0968727929470965,0.2050148673780837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792086399424693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074287707896786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878551007651802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889189041561598,0.0,0.0,0.19675842081487646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108368199558837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881579275099056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603114476839132,0.06559986052662131,0.0,0.0,0.11939518319686734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950812394611712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077071044368988,0.0,0.08212167153500208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592824823536286
mentalhealth,hegazy98,2019/01/12,"Losing interest So I feel tired and I can’t initiate anything all I do is stay in bed all day nd browse Facebook, I even stopped playing video games even though I loved them. I don’t feel like socializing lost interest in it",3.035,5.088619555555557,4.0063888888888926,86.37625000000004,75.66666666666667,8.055555555555555,29.027777777777786,8.841846274778883,2.343111111111112,180,8,37,4,4,58,33,45,0.191,0.537,0.272,0.6395,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,2,4,7,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,6,8,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,7,5,2,7,2,5,0,2,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279895436200972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867511377515174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659794290999507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801708374844617,0.19792544332610096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535322923287946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099494425859435,0.3024341287747788,0.0,0.2500495383045678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28241882377126715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295299732312072,0.0,0.2316272212401968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722014120340365,0.0,0.0,0.3184296157183463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crazy4FUT,2019/01/12,"I need help. Hello everybody, I've been struggling with my mental wellbeing for the past year or so, yet Ive been scared to admit it to anyone in real life. I'm 18 years old, and struggling a lot. Yet, I feel as though sharing my emotions and thoughts will make me feel weak and stupid. Over the past few months, I feel as if I cant think straight. Whenever I talk to somebody, I feel as if someone else could've done a better job if they were in my shoes. Sometimes I feel left out and isolated and I have a shit attention span. I want to be able to be a better version of myself but I dont know how to. I feel as if I'm an idiot. I feel like I wont make it.",1.7312878787878785,2.6818642500000003,3.527954545454545,93.0852272727273,76.6388888888889,6.625252525252527,23.50757575757576,6.980632752743323,0.5663,508,15,122,5,11,171,88,144,0.14400000000000002,0.757,0.099,-0.7338,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,2,5,11,3,3,7,0,12,4,2,3,0,32,29,18,0,6,6,0,7,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,12,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,5,7,20,4,17,20,3,15,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,6,9,75,22,1,0.14161561409440196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902093010184086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504950047913754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306854448698353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492194110960288,0.16597244502058012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830167385717275,0.1592985049156509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5012357669146338,0.10117022300517843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492196099844938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405316453409665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782823793802059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538657790752623,0.0,0.10002729630614256,0.06918623576555417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203965308807766,0.0,0.0,0.18905904414255734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427152306592474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303623207838392,0.0,0.0,0.10500618344606848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860176468166028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270376255587698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611895724429718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178193475212136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536639279684602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999045026214905,0.0,0.14006146344123965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960947757955996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382526630495965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074156732381876,0.13913662182600425,0.11242697897335817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352855832692074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182391624853009
mentalhealth,francoangg,2019/01/12,"Having a hard time with my boyfriend There's a lot to tell but I'll try to make it short. Me and him have been together for 4 years more or less, a year after we met his dad kicked him out of his grandma's house where he lived (his dad is a violent alcoholic) he had just quit his job therefore he had no money, he's had a really rocky past in general but that threw him into a really dark place, he was forced to move in into a friend's house for around four months until we finally found a place, during that time I provided for anything he could need, money, food, emotional support, the idea was for him to find a new job and move in into a new place. He found a really shitty job in a call center and it made his anxiety and depression worse as he was in constant pressure, eventually I realized that if I didn't move in with him he wouldn't be able to do it because of tight money was for him. We moved in, we struggled with money, his job situation got worse and then better, we lived together for 2 years, during that time he fucked up many times, abused alcohol, came home high many times, lied to me, intended to cheat, hid things from me. I broke up with him cause I couldn't take it anymore, and I knew it would throw him into a dark place but I had enough of being hurt. I helped him move into a new place, stuck by his side to make sure he was okay, he wasn't. His life spiraled until the point I stepped in and took control, helped clean his house, get sober, get back on his meds, managed to stop with the cuts. I week after this he had mental meltdown at a concert while he was with me, he mixed his prescribed xanax with alcohol without me knowing and I spent around 3 hours struggling with him on the floor because he wasn't able to reason, he passed out 5 or 6 times, bit me, hit me. As I waited for an ambulance I was told there was no psychiatric ambulance  available and that a regular one would come in but the cops had to be involved in order for that to happen, I had to say yes and I watched as they forced him into the ambulance against his will, I rode with him and had to force him into place as he kicked everything, I had to look into his eyes as I grabbed him in a headlock while on the for him not to hurt himself and so that the police wouldn't hurt him. I immediately got in touch with his phycologist and psychiatric after the episode, got his medicine changed and is doing better but recently he mixed again and ended up with another episode, he finally understood that he can't drink again until after he's finished with treatment and is working on it. He's tired of pills, he's tired of feeling like shit, he's tired of not being to sleep, he's tired of everything, he's just tired. 

He's a really nice person, loving, sweet, he means well but he's been struggling his whole life with all kinds of problems. I stuck by his side all this time and will keep doing it cause I know we can get through this together, I'll never give up on him because he deserves happiness. An hour ago he called me crying, telling me he can't sleep, telling me the pills aren't cutting it, that he doesn't know what to do, I wanted to go to his house but he said he wanted to be alone and I want to respect his decisions but time and time again I realize that when I trust in him I end up regretting it. I'm sorry if bummed anyone out, I've never posted here but I didn't know where to get this out of my chest, my boyfriend lives a regular life in general, but when it hits he can't get away from it. I wish I could help him more, I wish I could just hug him and somehow set him free of all the bullshit that haunts him. 

If this doesn't belong here I'll delete, thank you for reading.",6.782514611597179,5.112483732634342,6.896993376075944,82.34389678013531,65.53997378768021,10.398058871453367,31.89291913145124,9.142720283898788,2.340313903156104,2900,86,638,41,37,934,299,763,0.17600000000000002,0.723,0.102,-0.9966,4,1,4,0,2,1,70.0,6,1,1,5,20,35,6,4,32,2,54,24,5,9,6,130,105,49,0,19,21,2,5,1,1,6,14,3,2,1,29,55,5,5,16,3,6,14,20,17,1,2,40,12,94,19,115,48,10,119,0,6,3,3,106,55,2,7,48,397,123,7,0.1004279169524013,0.05949532974704375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044511644452266935,0.16099035171344067,0.0,0.05200651724381792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265371369799042,0.03841354079264516,0.0,0.04979875391524565,0.03511076729924765,0.0,0.04132180931936868,0.08940213804247185,0.0,0.0,0.04717766693082491,0.03861143454551906,0.0,0.09182988905393906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882033135629375,0.05482063735478772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025481317226538,0.05743139134560035,0.0,0.1031671348530304,0.053119709934532966,0.043254878979503614,0.0,0.054263450277209885,0.05631922421061341,0.12027527968877275,0.0,0.055157675520265785,0.0,0.0,0.043249208856317486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04919056265302905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05648394467168812,0.08894932583482808,0.0518844421431112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025813612735101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025389686166204156,0.035872861968621064,0.0,0.11001387414355636,0.045894648344687865,0.0,0.06071891790814984,0.11011402732192477,0.038795179757602986,0.0464219954743004,0.13117360399554134,0.04816980451584549,0.02853774978315202,0.0,0.12048206917746747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04440403764635971,0.05345369252267939,0.04498184376807445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097207370534056,0.05305380406773299,0.05036869454754864,0.0,0.09890126853477677,0.2317606649056716,0.16126524329569294,0.05668544705559804,0.0,0.0,0.19931842258691712,0.04463247348567333,0.0,0.0522901106208464,0.11038511348022643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640281162474884,0.02453200370645779,0.0,0.13301953589055304,0.0,0.04216707841140446,0.0,0.0,0.04269011182831785,0.045320058008602115,0.04751366163290385,0.0670364144012834,0.101818145004878,0.0,0.054697721506934825,0.05577638794043427,0.0,0.05060385969493267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04008030258659536,0.26684745564994405,0.0,0.037233013951345234,0.07745620073838669,0.14549086199788525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034026277810933224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04793490519336724,0.0,0.0438448916987502,0.31477739466819826,0.0,0.047468421345741,0.0,0.04809109180003677,0.0,0.0,0.04804797671850311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340872579776172,0.05022754708649909,0.0,0.12867339040698453,0.05162831243650872,0.04958022613816019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04776497339165504,0.03993215522099115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051543906781847185,0.0,0.056442593209636224,0.10050044479296454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05621041543677554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041981117718325626,0.0,0.15748359605575346,0.0,0.0,0.05698220501646275,0.047326061606030284,0.0,0.037754647569865185,0.0,0.13166763893402994,0.0462302665067998,0.0,0.0,0.03335992277827489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26352146697686896,0.2885677924834767,0.0,0.047981589195925614,0.05578955547820187,0.03409198167453823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885248112419902,0.0,0.040278608630324515,0.0,0.04514837912408647,0.0,0.0,0.056062091394839635,0.11548714822642825,0.04840446408177052,0.0,0.03655635981603314,0.0,0.1023446271714734,0.07134111078528316,0.0,0.0,0.0970084287881268
mentalhealth,hamovlov,2019/01/12,"How to make a world for yourself if you don't fit into this world? My mom once said she's devastated I will never fit into this world. It made me angry because it's the same thing I think about myself. I worry I can't make it to the end. And no, therapy (even great therapy) etc. don't erase me from myself. 

​

I don't know if I have the energy to put myself out there and start something new. I don't know how to make a world for myself. I don't know how to make it to the end of life. What can I do if I can't fit in? 

​

​",-0.2327654164017794,1.6727665371900855,2.180495867768596,96.00752701843612,86.10743801652893,5.0453909726637,16.74570883661793,6.297961479604792,-0.4709026064844246,425,9,102,4,13,145,61,121,0.16399999999999998,0.7829999999999999,0.053,-0.8977,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,6,0,11,1,0,8,1,22,22,8,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,8,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,9,0,0,0,2,1,19,1,15,19,2,17,0,0,0,0,4,11,0,3,5,73,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3914666832580528,0.4390171220504481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341472040263296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133354386064072,0.0,0.13431441308260894,0.07954473218952103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277759320488414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985601609026039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506525213045417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139564324869012,0.3215593313310761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104944622038532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288520403175232,0.11631475399517137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282570073327277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106823326968034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145591768447358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271505747165568,0.0,0.0,0.08524295958172831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754508177748204,0.0,0.0800102045854129,0.07716847888688974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223053599106216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4390171220504481,0.0
mentalhealth,finnkat,2019/01/12,"How do you deal with things you cannot change? Every now and then I get so upset about things happening in the world (or things that have happened) that I feel physically sick. It makes me feel like people are inherently bad and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I read that every child in the world could easily be vaccinated for an estimated $250 billion. The top 25 richest people in the world could easily save so many people from terrible suffering and unnecessary deaths without even missing the money. But they don't. I saw a picture of the mushroom cloud above Nagasaki on an askreddit thread. 225,000 people died because of the atomic bombs dropped, most of which were completely innocent people. I can't do anything about any of it and that makes me feel as sick as the fact that they happened/are happening. How do I deal with that? There's so much evil I can't stop and I feel so helpless and sad.",3.9724621212121214,6.0655711704545485,4.540545454545455,83.40748484848488,73.0909090909091,7.875151515151515,27.074242424242424,8.648137234880735,2.033176969696969,730,27,139,14,15,232,102,176,0.201,0.696,0.102,-0.9707,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,2,1,12,10,1,1,11,0,15,2,0,4,1,26,27,17,2,2,3,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,13,8,0,2,4,1,1,0,5,8,0,1,2,5,15,2,18,22,2,13,0,4,1,0,7,8,0,2,5,94,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366083058093452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333970082970325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499843802220965,0.08395866754169279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569962282166024,0.0,0.1444068337807437,0.0,0.0,0.2199317090526448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839862780690047,0.0,0.0,0.14294154901517225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096908205828252,0.0,0.2320862059864044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785608357075299,0.09839403236205796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195801577178261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653814118040304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728771093621554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18387111498953967,0.13963616651799274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012470813528202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321552370482325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774217105061514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776684162581618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302961753642919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745042191765367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327663906352348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AllTheMoose,2019/01/12,"Why am I so afraid of people? Ever since high school, or even before that, I have been absolutely terrified of people judging me, or thinking I'm boring, or annoying, or embarrassing myself. It got in the way of my grades at times, with stage fright affecting the quality of my presentations, and even more mandatory class discussions that some of my classes had. I took an AP english class my senior year, and half the class revolved around discussing the book we were reading at the time. I remember having so many good ideas, but I never once shared them because I was afraid that my teacher might look down on me for a dumb idea, my classmates might think I'm stupid or boring, and I didn't want to somehow offend somebody by contradicting what someone said or making a comment that others might think I may be saying just to show off. If not for the writing portion of the class, I most definitely would have failed because up until we had to turn in our work, socratic discussion was our only grade because it was the only thing showing that we actually read the book aside from small quizzes that were not worth as much of our grade.

I was a shy kid growing up, and when I moved in 8th grade, it was no different. I was able to make friends quickly and warmed up to everyone in the school pretty fast. Now I didn't talk to everyone, nor did I know everyone, but I wasn't afraid to have a conversation. Hesitant, yes, but did I dread it? No. Not until high school.

In middle school and the start of my freshman year I went to go to different social gatherings. I went to my local teen center and did some events, joined some clubs, joined sports, went to summer camps. All sorts of stuff. By high school however I wasn't able to do those things. Only went to 3 dances, homecoming twice and prom once, mostly because I had a really hard time telling my friends I didn't want to go. I never went to any other dances, never went to a bonfire, never went to see any sports except the ones I had to go to for pep band. I wanted to go to these things really bad, but I dreaded what people might think of me if I had to talk to them, or what they'd think of me if I was alone, or seemed a little confused because I didn't understand the sport, or seemed nervous because I was constantly think about all of these things. So I didn't. I was having such a hard time being so afraid of being judged that I never bought a year book because of what the student selling it might think of me buying a year book when I never talk. I never really participated in school spirit days because I thought people might think it's weird that I was participating and didn't have any friends doing it either, as I juggled friend groups a lot thought the years.

Skip to college and things seemed to be affecting my life outside of school. I rarely ever spoke, much less than I did in high school. I made no friends, not even acquaintances, or even just someone I could talk to when we were asked to discuss something. My grades, again, were affected massively because of these issues. I had a group project in my writing class where we had to write about a community within our community, and had to do a certain number of interviews, and shadow a certain number of meetings. I, being the non-talkative person that I am, unsurprisingly got paired with all the other quiet kids who had no clue what they were doing. I had to set up an interview with a professor and shadow one of the university's clubs for my group's project, and didn't do either. I really wanted to do them, for the sake of my groups grade at the very least but, like a lot of things I have shared, I couldn't. Luckily one of the group members was an over achiever who took control of the whole project, so it wasn't as big of an issue to the group, but it was a huge problem for myself. 

Since I lived with my family, I had to help out with things. One of those things included shopping from time to time. I was asked by my mom to go pick up some dog food at Costco because we were very low and couldn't afford it until then, and try to see if I could get in using her membership card. I told her that they wouldn't let me, when in reality, I parked across the street, thought about all the bad interactions that could happen, and left. I didn't even get out of my car. I took a break after 1 semester (and still haven't gone back a year later) because of the stress taking care of the family was putting on me while my dad lived out of town to finish up his career and retire, and to earn some money to pay off the tuition that hadn't been paid (my parents have a college fund for me but decided not to use it for a whole other story). I got a job but haven't been able to pay off my tuition yet because I have been too afraid that the school councilor I need to talk to in order to start paying for it because I fear he might judge me, or belittle me for not paying it yet, or think I pathetic. I work retail so I see a lot of customers everyday (not so much in the winter but definitely in the spring and summer), and have a hard time interacting. Most of the time if I'm not being asked a question, I get too nervous and just laugh instead of talking. I have had a couple panic attacks from being embarrassed by something I said to a customer, or on the overhead speakers. Not to mention the amount of times I have gone to lunch almost too late because I was to afraid to call up front, or a different department to cover my lunch ( I worked in the garden section, and we had registers back there and doors, so somebody had to be near the registers as long as the doors were open, and I was usually there alone), or because I took too long rehearsing what I was going to say, and any follow up responses I may need to use. The whole reason I even got the job, which was not my first choice, was because I was too afraid to tell the interviewer that I was in the process of applying to other jobs, and wasn't sure where I'd work yet, and got hired on the spot.

And now here I am. Nearly 2 years out of high school with only a semester of college, no friends aside from a few from high school who I never talk to, telling a really long, probably boring story about how I can't handle what others MAY, but probably don't, think of me. Maybe I'm just shy and I need to get over it, IDK. Guess I just needed to rant a little bit. Thank you anyone who read the whole thing, means a lot.",8.330054338180084,5.966895209338524,8.161015768994469,76.70520035497306,63.05447470817121,11.289917400505152,34.761758481807625,9.594106085396248,2.944442282749676,5044,157,1035,73,57,1629,437,1285,0.121,0.8170000000000001,0.063,-0.9967,9,2,2,0,0,0,132.0,11,1,6,9,54,49,5,18,81,1,115,4,0,13,17,198,202,85,0,21,48,3,4,1,6,12,1,7,3,3,61,50,3,1,25,19,15,28,44,32,0,7,91,15,137,17,182,84,33,168,1,2,4,0,87,68,1,51,68,748,198,59,0.09617641960311203,0.0,0.03128477063910616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032102263859162865,0.0664065102788575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720435114676457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02241626293321171,0.0,0.0,0.028539134677274355,0.08991196946659896,0.03647152059242687,0.0,0.049302486705802936,0.05353552871791194,0.3126840144682898,0.0,0.027279683118076336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034999913577437015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032735625861043116,0.0,0.032686089869243734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03464418076398067,0.03595667754394718,0.07678904510659555,0.0354724596620355,0.0,0.020675278055776687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048388837780946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704723617287866,0.057998051823300666,0.0,0.09190069048068902,0.0,0.0,0.06044437927977805,0.036075070229923366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027269204460886785,0.03876563611523093,0.0,0.14861132641888047,0.0,0.06699761294305984,0.0,0.10931855129381614,0.026889405901256314,0.12820178106624028,0.0,0.03531638973941651,0.0,0.028349496742509507,0.0,0.08615518099036934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02148834224934988,0.2032313355250798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238098073192294,0.0,0.0669221297649163,0.09544025619109177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017618681661068333,0.0,0.03616373015409397,0.0,0.03483198710239567,0.03278230173199038,0.022644083146771847,0.01566231351982631,0.06426269259621692,0.05661702702882492,0.08511310485332868,0.026921323272124896,0.0,0.0,0.10902100352700518,0.0,0.03033481789233493,0.042799004604809884,0.03250259799719798,0.03220738016024596,0.0349214386771124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23806529265246035,0.0,0.037546886749038035,0.0,0.03407343780285811,0.07070073460895852,0.095084795318293,0.19780582369631186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828316534569252,0.08689550798449575,0.09752866797815536,0.0,0.03761410201234067,0.035597510752452766,0.0,0.0,0.08890215948296792,0.02799251329999946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03261533159444836,0.06912963138060231,0.03067594821699837,0.0,0.032227955268822814,0.035913200321043,0.0,0.09620244630814673,0.0,0.10268846189287684,0.032961792504021474,0.0,0.0,0.03631637831260418,0.0,0.06099053281402616,0.05098889940481256,0.0,0.3568974612585667,0.07664015442065769,0.0875554002729705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303875210359421,0.0,0.0,0.03267991600108544,0.054326645483625716,0.04936087104347227,0.0,0.0,0.04538277654159848,0.0,0.025602204310397045,0.0,0.0367232545697208,0.0,0.036699663479591,0.0,0.0,0.030215045758253282,0.0,0.02410423274614609,0.20614123461055103,0.08406242988041003,0.029515441820352387,0.0,0.0,0.19168601889282127,0.20541988749352685,0.0,0.0763533341545519,0.16824373110255952,0.0,0.0,0.030633563493563006,0.1424740546246248,0.02176582524150817,0.03487077559135447,0.0,0.033374348216816674,0.0,0.08306554688745693,0.03530824616353746,0.05290374572136956,0.07563645883603172,0.025446788412368526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080318438856021,0.028928086468895463,0.14317005043856154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335677190225952,0.0,0.0,0.02277365634992204,0.0,0.0,0.14451374223212468
mentalhealth,Coco4real,2019/01/12,"My experience with depersonalization, dissociative amnesia, and how I’ve beaten it. Just shared this with r/depersonalization but feel this might be able to help out some people here as well. 

MY STORY

I never had anxiety until I turned 17. It got worse and worse until I had my first panic attack soon after my 18th birthday. After the panic attack I felt spacey, out of control of my body, just living in autopilot which lasted 3 days before suddenly. Poof. My memory was just gone. I had no idea who I was, what I was, where I was, didn’t recognize anyone in my own family... it was absolutely insane and I felt like I was losing my mind. It comes back in bits and pieces when I try to remember the 3 weeks living with dissociative amnesia. A lot of this is just what I was told I did but some of it is foggy first hand memories. 

I told my dad I felt like everything was a dream and he just accused me of doing drugs which I had never even done aside from smoking weed with friends on the weekends. He said it would wear off and I’d be fine soon. 2 days later I was still obviously confused and had no idea what was going on around me, what day it was, I was basically insane. $13,000 for a 36 hour stay in the hospital later and the doctor diagnosed me with dissociative amnesia and said I was in a fugue state. 

I was insane in the hospital. Apparently I pulled an IV out of my arm bc I didn’t know why it was in there, I called an ex gf thinking she was my girlfriend for some reason and she came and visited at some point. I was told at one point they rolled my wheelchair over to a window and I said to the nurse “one of these days my dads going to visit me”. I thought I had been there for weeks and was checked into a psyche ward when really I was only there for 12 hours at that point.  My dad had never left the side of my hospital bed and I had no fucking idea what was going on. It was like my brain invented a backstory as to why I was there. I had no idea if I was dreaming or awake. It was like a psychotic episode. 

They flew out a specialist for this who did some weird ass tests. One thing I specifically remember was him saying 10 words and after each word jabbing my foot with something sharp. They released me shortly after and I had to go back to the hospital to see the specialist again in 2 weeks.

I basically laid in bed for 2 weeks and have no memories at all. I missed school and I think I only got out of bed to eat and go to the bathroom and shower. 

When we went back to the specialist he asked me what the 10 words were and apparently I remembered them. He declared that it wasn’t any brain issue and that he thought it was brought on my severe anxiety and that eventually I’d snap out of it more than likely. 

My parents put me back in school and my friends kinda took care of me and drove me to and from school. Some thought I was faking it so people were fucking with me a lot. Someone went as far as to say I owed them money and I guess I believed them right away and gave it to them (when I came back to reality they apologized profusely and gave it back to me). 

Randomly I came to at my friends birthday party at some water park in The Dells. And everyone was shocked. I couldn’t believe where I was and was immediately so happy but confused. It was the oddest thing but I just snapped out of it over the course of about 2 hours and was entirely normal. 

Unfortunately it happened again 6 months later after another panic attack, lasted 2 weeks, and I came really close to hanging myself because I couldn’t take it anymore. 

When I snapped out of it the second time I made a commitment to solving the problem and saw my doctor. He was great and helped me begin to get things under control. They got me Xanax and he said when I feel the panic attacks coming on to just take them as needed. After my first time stopping a panic attack a month later, just having the pills on me was like a security blanket and I went years without panic attacks and just dealt with some anxiety, depression, and occasional hour or two DP moment when my anxiety got severe. 

When I graduated college at 22 I made a huge move and had a temporary stay with my mom for 2 weeks. The change was big and because of that I had a panic attack and after that had about a week of DP and anxiety where I spent a lot of the time nauseous and throwing up and shaking. I didn’t lose my memory though because every time the anxiety got horrible I took a a Xanax to calm down. 

I started smoking weed everyday after this somehow which greatly helped my anxiety and slowed my brain down from overthinking and kept my headspace positive. I got into meditation, eating better, stretching, and self care. Pretty quickly I stopped carrying my Xanax everywhere and I felt fine. The past 4 years have been amazing. 

Randomly a week and a half ago I had a panic attack on a train in Chicago after I almost puked on the passengers, poured water all over myself like a crazy person because I was so hot and nauseous, and got off the train to almost not make it to a bathroom and shit my pants bc I was sick. I felt humiliated and suddenly had a fear of public transportation. 

It was one of the most challenging weeks of my life fighting DP recently after thinking I was cured of it but I beat it again and I have some tips for how I do it each time. 

Each episode I’ve had has been shorter than the last and I feel so powerful for having beaten it again. 
____________________

TIPS

1. Get your anxiety under control. Find a psychiatrist and if you’re frequently anxious get on some kind of antidepressant/anti anxiety medication or if you’re episodic like me get something like Xanax and don’t abuse it. 

2. Meditate and reframe your mind. This was a huge one for me. Accept the moment you are in as perfect. There is no before, there is no after, there is just this moment. Focus on your breath, your body, and this single moment. Accept it for what it is and live with it. Make it sacred. This is all a part of the masterpiece that is your life and it will shape you. 

3. Let it be known how you feel. Your true friends will be accepting and help you through it. My wife just made sure I was eating and sleeping and meditating and helped calm me down when I got upset or worked myself up with the weird DP/DR anxiety thoughts and emotional numbness. Crying felt so good and much better than the emotional void. 

4. Try to work out. It’s good for your brain chemicals, your body, keeps you busy, and also stimulates your appetite. Leading me to the next tip

5. Eat good foods and try to cook. Cooking is another activity that helps keep your mind off things and only allows you to think in the moment. Good calorie dense meals will fuel your brain. 

6. ACCEPT THAT DP/DR IS A PART OF YOUR LIFE! It’s not going to go away forever, it’s a part of you even if you don’t have a full on episode ever again it will still creep on you once in a while. The most important thing is to not give it power. The idea of DP/DR is so panic inducing to me on its own. Obsessing over it and reading about it isn’t helping you. Accept it, forget about it, and try to relax. Get off this sub if you’re currently dealing with it. You’re just working yourself up and prolonging your episode. 

7. Stay busy and don’t stay home the entire time. Going for mindfulness walks and volunteering  at an animal shelter really helped me. It feels good to do good things. 

PM me if you want to chat about your experiences with DP/DR. I’d love to help who I can",2.521068004459309,4.605964423411372,4.018411371237459,85.5479292084727,77.34113712374581,7.222965440356744,23.8768115942029,8.18289091462,1.433992196209588,5883,195,1185,108,138,1949,502,1495,0.138,0.7140000000000001,0.149,0.9152,9,0,3,0,4,2,133.0,1,25,10,21,70,85,14,15,75,0,110,45,16,16,12,251,204,120,0,13,31,7,14,9,6,6,16,6,6,2,86,112,10,9,37,8,4,34,24,39,1,11,115,22,173,46,186,76,32,223,0,4,2,4,96,84,4,35,109,841,259,17,0.03060138586151408,0.036257638270247326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027126282184264185,0.0,0.061285735158554,0.0,0.0,0.024471917217476616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02080999175206426,0.06417644251956647,0.23409976424381845,0.034570855685328965,0.030348351936947737,0.02139720051203188,0.0,0.0,0.027241721287305985,0.02860816489707461,0.27850795341578244,0.05750201870583141,0.1411834609001044,0.0,0.0746172831575374,0.0,0.05207905093916017,0.0689545653919664,0.0,0.05412887799852933,0.033408787671322486,0.10197372331056308,0.0,0.17080633553690924,0.03124743640465668,0.13999933249343885,0.06240030472254066,0.0,0.032372208642518864,0.05272076857562402,0.0,0.0,0.10296616899702993,0.0,0.0,0.03361418543849393,0.07894144916475282,0.03154868512087697,0.02635692880187212,0.031059762495324886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264363024201099,0.0,0.031315842310568234,0.0,0.0,0.035487892302342366,0.12525142952273738,0.0,0.0688448805205418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04042385350597279,0.02768070547414335,0.025782987415275457,0.029240935584257707,0.027502552423577773,0.059868054636260125,0.028848263136638082,0.034435066785893864,0.07736490080173686,0.0,0.17629277619113856,0.0,0.027969112286575424,0.078088569543236,0.037003317252543334,0.0,0.09457021922634416,0.05658097624961483,0.07993980543508677,0.029355637746857507,0.13913178235449894,0.1540019435263181,0.19579779010601933,0.06747627188940321,0.033710876557205456,0.0,0.02706070445470811,0.03257574428003965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18460317504099052,0.0,0.03069568510359153,0.0,0.12054480357529945,0.0,0.0,0.17272619912080195,0.0,0.031939896349774115,0.0,0.054399835604923535,0.0,0.031866634306637685,0.016817721374109713,0.07483264136909235,0.0,0.0,0.03324849527698165,0.031291990350722894,0.06484399147345016,0.13455262256607275,0.0,0.08106475307728674,0.0,0.0,0.0684702464953585,0.0,0.07804861183063527,0.02761894549788875,0.08686731363816116,0.04085332537243235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030827676826400825,0.0,0.032463234502158364,0.12359470498247672,0.03583997327143289,0.048851468480819414,0.03252443027520925,0.022495539648798038,0.022690539867560373,0.07080502587599237,0.0,0.032544921028873665,0.0,0.029982860854861314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03258947722131919,0.10368145514926418,0.06982119869682195,0.0,0.3231371958441268,0.03397921756935385,0.09941495641421128,0.029212485423800318,0.04243029576511916,0.026719949783797027,0.0,0.0,0.0867846026434915,0.0,0.0,0.03113261081796345,0.0,0.0292813934620358,0.0,0.03076284495031101,0.0,0.0,0.030609667031126737,0.0,0.058812094128462764,0.031463321319254604,0.030215176759547206,0.0,0.10399621439231516,0.026133416322601362,0.11643570240460227,0.04867090057353643,0.0,0.09291070866561504,0.024385342556843142,0.0,0.031923919367828985,0.06914171137065793,0.03141188283311303,0.0,0.0,0.030623485816408395,0.0,0.025928454935210312,0.0471168837692786,0.0,0.0,0.02165981841724831,0.1304680227377051,0.04887661255685348,0.05116825763915879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028841444021951136,0.0,0.0460168675567972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198120605036325,0.07843252972101476,0.030065706237215162,0.09717632866428563,0.10706348511405077,0.0,0.0,0.08772280675277312,0.06799853132630293,0.08310532908897629,0.03328552040816801,0.029893107431423288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018049490235689542,0.0,0.22091927301869616,0.0,0.027514320968200903,0.085103373827368,0.05522598199785368,0.0,0.0,0.02949864395749853,0.0,0.06683452010378653,0.0,0.06237085308483381,0.021738346519366628,0.0,0.0,0.039412578377938066
mentalhealth,suicidalbacon,2019/01/12,"It - whatever that “it” thing making you prisoner may be It lures me into depths of darkness,
Strangles me. 
It dictates my every thought - my every move.  
It takes all my human inhibitions, Leaving me with only flesh and bones. 
The larks I find are hidden treasures, Yet Fool’s Gold is all I see.
It doesn’t want me here,
So it tortures my mind until
To be or not to be - an unanswerable question.

I recently was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, (childhood trauma being a significant factor) and BDD. I tend to write down what I am feeling and I wrote this poem the other day. Although “it” represents something very specific and personal to me I recognise that everyone suffering with mental illness has an “it” they struggle with too. 
",5.1553041695147,7.393583218045112,6.071319207108682,73.0694941900205,70.203007518797,9.046889952153112,33.89542036910458,9.573946990214177,3.7741187969924814,580,29,91,14,11,191,96,133,0.19,0.758,0.051,-0.9637,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,0,4,7,1,1,5,0,11,4,2,1,2,23,19,8,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,15,9,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,3,2,18,1,12,11,2,9,0,2,1,0,7,3,0,3,5,74,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731448414833594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105148597209102,0.0,0.18837677861250127,0.2219886105593265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685494731807499,0.20898919181307926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105876249866543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19989928693141867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315849859930794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599230978535974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22041078500093686,0.0,0.22083730385639325,0.0,0.0,0.2324568028205032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663407319853905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909713420253259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450080844199895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159522342666316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428556683334678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683755882454315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286458203035379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444460083626772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530288423565646,0.0,0.0,0.17363331563375806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046073981103966,0.12900231479001012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SlavicCellsAtWork,2019/01/12,"My Diagnosis has changed for the worse Major Depressive Disorder to Treatment Resistant  Major Depressive Disorder. Work is literally the only reason Im alive and I hate.

If it were up to me I would lay in bed dreaming about my fantasies until dehydration would do me in.

Im not going to be cured, my treatments dont work, and i can barely muster the will to get up most days.

Ill never find someone who would love me, have a family with me, allow me to cry around them. Instead ill just be in bed wondering if I should go watch sad things just to feel somewhat human by crying.

Why didnt I just die back when I was in the military? Theres no point.",5.245153846153848,5.536007323076927,6.450576923076928,77.7581730769231,68.07692307692308,9.884615384615383,30.09615384615385,9.827888789773867,2.7346153846153856,512,18,101,11,8,173,89,130,0.233,0.688,0.08,-0.9669,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,2,9,5,1,0,5,0,16,3,0,2,1,22,23,6,1,6,6,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,3,4,0,0,4,2,0,2,5,4,0,0,3,2,15,1,18,13,4,15,0,3,1,1,4,8,0,5,5,73,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672602145215074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180998115606809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624759040234732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374187549229273,0.09905165461216024,0.0,0.2645705074779404,0.0,0.15940025752285658,0.0,0.3520506661423897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000417500941995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447892445150015,0.0,0.07765878649959464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037679213295048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024347241149912,0.0,0.17457537703152998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163650663149927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318031287577941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861930730455552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845665434452675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681071361283556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451904515333685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791420447638466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013474619698945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203714625387712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13858942171310493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655980358906275,0.22362801364079304,0.0,0.15651945240405296,0.3273138581657302,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,buckala97,2019/01/12,"Does anyone have thoughts about loved ones in different realities? There are times when I think about my parents living different lives, for worse, and it makes me sad. For instance, I may think of my Dad trying to make ends meet as he works a low paying and laborious job (e.g. dishwasher), while in reality he is retired and doing fine. Or, I think of my Mom living with some rowdy college students because she can't afford to live on her own, while in reality she is also retired and is doing fine. Thoughts like these occur while I go about my day and I'm not sure why. Could this be a sign or symptom of a mental illness? I have never had any mental health concerns.

Thank you in advance for your input.",4.603795620437957,5.9881307299270095,5.3427810218978085,81.158697080292,70.16788321167883,7.523795620437956,28.2985401459854,7.908726449838941,1.8154210218978104,558,20,104,7,10,181,95,137,0.093,0.8190000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.2076,6,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,2,6,8,0,0,3,0,13,4,0,2,2,22,24,13,0,1,3,3,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,1,2,3,2,0,1,3,0,15,6,18,18,2,16,0,2,0,1,12,6,0,4,9,70,18,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712474618460053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995984491286001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240888185266406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928121847937708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693712835974382,0.0,0.0,0.09445517809964632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30604098115846523,0.0,0.0,0.12816893957989567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972090473921682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832371170067345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568111096688306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533986551612862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155340832547359,0.0,0.5173107086688952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218670006845068,0.0,0.1955276050715748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951963222346436,0.0,0.0,0.17153326138589678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295969185987632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924571099591016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262752108852793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380376854272766,0.15222897655241055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484153907435342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815387344160412,0.0,0.2325472240039187,0.08540254126245755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943735190047484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215820131318878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662529535330983,0.0,0.14925619173926394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chemisecure,2019/01/13,"Advice for Wife Needed Hi everyone, I have a question.

So my wife has diagnosed anxiety and depression. Every now and again, she encounters something which reminds her of her late parents, and she has a panic attack, which is understandable. There are times where she brings up an idea for a plan for a date and she knows full well that this will bring up the possibility of panic attack due to memory of her parents, but she's all for it anyways, which includes an after-event meal.

For example, last week she brought up the idea of watching Gone With the Wind at a local theater (the local theater does classic movie nights sometimes). I said sure, and the plan was to go to dinner afterwards. The dinner didn't happen, because as the movie was ending, she was developing a panic attack due to the fact that her mother loved the movie. Now she is apologizing for her -- and I'm quoting her right now -- ""stupid emotions preventing us from eating out as planned"".

My question is how to get her to realize that her panic attacks and her emotions are valid even though she knows they are derived from anxiety and depression?",8.252569169960474,7.9358489516908275,7.8244532279314924,72.482371541502,61.89855072463769,10.619060166886252,36.209486166007906,10.018931242160765,3.605747826086956,891,36,153,16,11,282,117,207,0.187,0.7709999999999999,0.042,-0.9841,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,1,3,12,14,5,4,17,0,14,6,0,1,3,25,28,14,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,8,10,4,1,8,0,0,5,1,11,1,0,7,2,24,3,26,20,2,29,0,2,1,1,31,10,0,2,14,112,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015565984714717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590082685311367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4729294323281599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335314473565766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902493947918613,0.10548406725916556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909475197372726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634361916057583,0.0,0.23380854919193694,0.09204878017074082,0.0,0.0,0.06864303103960498,0.0,0.08756327029430774,0.0993070316089841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429774818444631,0.0,0.05906430502317351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190260772954996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346426442664672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423150147007838,0.08471465696221922,0.1172345716248787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379848622361626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706080926719205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752877280845501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4877453866270531,0.2307980347267011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716246582551147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23284482200126705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875338455984617,0.0988587039716092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000834741265271,0.10278680136463213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795029248922557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210808854053806,0.0,0.06060087048031515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819203107053108,0.12501179948753124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336424715080497,0.0,0.09344316409492284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anon374722442,2019/01/13,Supernatural feelings linked to low mental health? Ok. I don’t believe in the supernatural but every time I get severely depressed/vulnerable I get supernatural feelings/visions. Like I feel extra sensitive. This is fucking weird. Is there an explanation apart from it’s just my brain being weird and depressed?,5.4719780219780265,9.163251692307695,6.595604395604397,61.0065384615385,80.15384615384616,8.356043956043958,34.35164835164835,8.841846274778883,4.3257109890109895,256,14,34,7,7,85,42,52,0.268,0.647,0.085,-0.8882,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,2,1,4,3,1,0,0,6,9,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,2,3,8,1,4,0,2,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34067938812772625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33755675232394605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26043996727717683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547686966572996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057854332675545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27954599175291084,0.3159627658921943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214164373271069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477278870875849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047285236322188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416040082329908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632055925589815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shameofthepast08,2019/01/13,"Caught in a lie and humiliated by my teacher a decade ago...still can't let go.  Hello Reddit…hope you’re all well.

Here  I am…it is around 4am where I am in the United Kingdom. I should be  sleeping and looking forward to the day, but I am ruminating about my  past CHOICES that I made.

Things that I  usually deeply regret in my life are all human/relationship related.  There are bad choices that I have made in other parts of my life, but I  don’t really dwell on it because I know that I can turn these around.

Anyway,  one of these relationship regrets is about something that occurred over  10 years ago (around August 2008 when I was 16). I lived in Germany  back then and it was my last day there at school.  What happened on that  day is that I got caught out in a lie(s) in front of my whole class on  my final day.

My English teacher  (ironically) asked me…”what have you seen there in London/UK whilst you  were there over the summer”? And I went on and on and on!!! Some of the  things I said were true; but a lot were also lies. Pretty much made it  up whilst talking (probably because my classmates were cheering me up at  that moment).

After I answered the  question I looked at my teacher and saw ‘that look’ she gave me. She  pretty much asked the whole class…”Do you remember what this specific  place is?” “Nooo”, they all said. She then asked me “Could you please  tell your fellow students what this place is”? There was pretty much  silence for ten seconds or something like that. She answered the  question and wished me good luck.

I am  glad she humiliated me in front of all of them, but what hurts/confuses  me so many years later is why did I betray all of them? They are/were  great people and accepted me, yet I still felt the need to do something  so unnecessary.  The shame and guilt is eating me…I am feeling better as  I write this, but just an hour ago I was crippling with shame and  abusing myself.

Since I have been in the  UK I have experienced a lot of failure and I put it down to my anxiety,  OCD, mild depression, social isolation and the above mentioned event.  Lying is something that I rarely do nowadays. I have vowed to change to a  better person and I know how to, but what I did back then is not  allowing me to move on. I always ask myself “why did I betray them” and  what they were thinking of me at that specific moment.

There is slightly more to this but the most important things have been written…can you please help me?",4.719990904365903,5.4935067962577975,5.138715566528067,84.99283426455303,69.39501039501039,7.84202182952183,27.50526247401248,7.8658589789855275,1.503380925155926,1903,60,388,22,32,606,221,481,0.127,0.735,0.138,-0.4381,1,1,4,0,0,0,56.0,0,6,6,2,25,19,0,4,19,0,45,4,1,5,6,64,74,32,0,6,10,0,2,1,1,1,2,2,0,1,32,20,1,0,11,0,0,9,3,8,1,3,27,10,71,11,54,43,16,72,0,3,5,0,36,34,0,8,32,287,103,3,0.0,0.09308964887708973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20893606459299996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283040732395075,0.06537446011211487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060103928152289675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098252167343019,0.2938000545360279,0.0,0.0,0.12082712709602887,0.06560058695569708,0.09578804661137344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897315124158946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311400520482423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272976160439972,0.0,0.0,0.20267817031606514,0.0,0.067670079042575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803941745234475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039726092457347664,0.0,0.07543712818468924,0.08606686406457703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04465172507406543,0.06589869764085142,0.0628376129880064,0.08662095433383472,0.0,0.0,0.06947698736689648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052662144113302285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737316862134543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635729475591797,0.0640430048391609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034059948147318,0.11098910806160273,0.03838411554310433,0.0,0.06937654850385014,0.0,0.1979307555826462,0.0,0.0,0.1335905704705928,0.0,0.223027425702686,0.0,0.07965512089872619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350482653281661,0.17326847421214905,0.058256811250613015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053239376392757484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508095422313873,0.07500157596200001,0.054468817095668295,0.06860211701731911,0.16417264609224042,0.1724870596058974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397942018233556,0.08470906149996017,0.0,0.0,0.07898204548073756,0.17602717873072593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050332357109954734,0.0,0.0,0.16870419986985227,0.08900167012322363,0.0,0.1494713827306298,0.0,0.0,0.07951451206076844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499185405876756,0.0,0.07862424796656642,0.08008967960810669,0.0,0.2419404227916289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627441129411986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314958640587627,0.06867146451638532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565902825246923,0.05034288635853118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545888688040101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653100952487007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064162477794772,0.07283286654246232,0.1417899101633243,0.17543563252610594,0.09034875614542508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118979772473764
mentalhealth,StormEagle119,2019/01/13,"Seeing a GP about my mental health..where do I start? So after about 4 years of Depression and Anxiety starting when I was about 15, I’ve finally decided to get something done about it.

Haven’t been to many GP’s over the years and the one I’m seeing tomorrow is just one some family members have been to before, since the last one I went to dismissed another issue of mine in seconds. As far as my parents know I’m just going for a persistent stomach ache, but I’m just worried about the whole thing (as I am with most things now). I don’t know where to even begin when I walk in there, whether I right things down beforehand so I don’t forget things, just want some advice for people that have been in similar situations in the past.

I’m also worried that when I walk in there that they won’t care or have no idea what to do with me etc etc",8.999433497536948,5.480747465517244,8.888193760262727,75.61189655172416,62.85057471264368,12.471592775041053,36.35139573070607,10.290406445055957,3.3265740558292283,665,20,142,11,7,218,100,174,0.101,0.8640000000000001,0.035,-0.8367,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,20,2,0,0,7,0,16,1,1,0,0,20,32,14,0,1,7,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,4,0,0,4,5,1,0,4,6,2,14,1,28,25,6,28,0,1,2,0,2,10,0,4,14,105,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524069126632446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106766402659248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512212057526028,0.10587390911508854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776630198119276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110574208155255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192017896103436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162896119785798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30870017684194606,0.09141041653753028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046909292379733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160798343671278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230711848558151,0.0,0.07865463751961825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711034922991068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562342274592304,0.0,0.1444513066557104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521195811569375,0.11281264772941785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403136082755658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947239259026573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28134571587078866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367433642490666,0.0,0.13211632385772265,0.09594758226419643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819093255148072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205701957832437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448405888554095,0.15556488312165934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654535868688976,0.0,0.0,0.19591729653932125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3677812937243932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163058578721027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282961119175082,0.0,0.15451615879876088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810992905869709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17824724235224446
mentalhealth,Poop_Slow_Think_Long,2019/01/13,"Just unloading / processing. I know all my avenues for help; what i gotta do to get assistance and I know what I gotta do to dig myself outta this hole I'm in..

All things considered, I'm alright - I'm alive. 

That's the difficult part, tho; it's the knowledgeof what needs to be done looming over me that creates the anxiety. I don't have a lot of debt when you compare it to most, sure but to pay off this 5500k deficit will still take 8 months  of sacrificing £200 a week from a 260 a week pay-check. that little left over is for food, phone contract, fun, clothes, living expenses and everything in between.

I know I can do all that but - my problem is the acceptance of the 8 months of not just frugal living but; breadline budgeting that is to come. 

Has anyone lived on a bare minimum budget and has any tips to share to make things a bit easier? are their any side hustles that can be done with a laptop and internet connection that might make things a bit easier? thanks in advance xx
",2.852923351158648,4.703138505050506,4.08972667855021,86.48596256684496,75.56565656565657,8.0931669637552,25.78847296494355,8.841846274778883,1.9089538918597744,776,28,161,17,17,254,118,198,0.07400000000000001,0.768,0.157,0.9556,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,1,5,8,0,0,13,1,19,1,0,2,4,27,34,9,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,17,6,1,0,4,0,5,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,13,6,24,26,8,18,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,3,6,105,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008865644661791,0.0,0.11299259014991735,0.0,0.0,0.1032775541496711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225074117391841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723328054806932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023034343351257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274616675125495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17860336912382865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716885748576237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900238219261157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435215479116565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16048002491880564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803747025505098,0.3912740557280583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255720303241304,0.0,0.0,0.19718614689678654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668981824444084,0.0,0.0,0.2357906670305666,0.0,0.0,0.1095200962639718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599482377547858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133207272384712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795601478694527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920857520855712,0.0,0.11105447014489064,0.0,0.0,0.13598531788885318,0.0,0.0,0.2943824498448906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23695729281204786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,feloflurry,2019/01/13,"Moving Goaline of happiness Most days I tell myself that I am happy. But I always find my self caught up in the details. 

If I can just lose 20 lbs I'd be happy.
If I had better connections with my friends I'd be happy.
If I spent more time with family..
If I became more of a unit with my partner...

The list goes on and I'd say I am improving or in the right direction on all accounts but find myself constantly down regardless. I could spend all day wishing I was ____ but in the end think that my definition of happiness keeps changing.

So my question is how do you maintain a healthy relationship with yourself even if you are not your ideal self?",1.9752307692307696,4.217116523076925,3.831538461538461,85.40346153846156,79.92307692307692,7.0769230769230775,25.384615384615394,8.139509932561175,1.7403076923076926,508,20,101,10,13,171,82,130,0.041,0.767,0.192,0.9554,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,3,4,9,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,1,2,29,16,12,0,9,11,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,2,5,0,1,4,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,4,1,20,8,14,9,5,15,0,1,0,0,11,8,0,8,5,73,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263774198663505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972276272549215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320231261079208,0.0,0.0,0.14628565516479802,0.0,0.10808102568437293,0.0,0.0,0.17460344158279034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989663705258193,0.0,0.0,0.08940986033143207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761372081808608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474493850782789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458565128249099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7205133834755375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203220693141098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151443136788139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438756830956846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516441122917396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533550337864046,0.0,0.11560427325622062,0.0,0.10765075679491896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824385034432952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831835687477535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673890437932492,0.0,0.0,0.0789346752838169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566751704058668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Drunken-Pumpkin,2019/01/13,"I’m touched starved but I get hugged a lot, why... Okay so I have a lot of friends who like hugging me, same with my dad. But I don’t feel anything when they hug me. Like nothing, which is probably normal but when certain people hug me I feel something. I feel happy and like I’m getting something that I really need. But the only people who’ve made me feel that way was my ex girlfriend and a girl I had a crush on. When I start to think about it it feels really uncomfortable. Like my skin is aching. It makes me feel incredibly lonely which I hate. I can try finding a girlfriend but it’s not easy finding girls who like other girls that I can date and not just be friends with. It just confuses me why I feel so deprived of touch though I get touched every day. If you can help that would be awesome. Sorry for the long post.",0.7457058823529401,3.096360688235293,2.023823529411768,95.69220588235297,86.23529411764706,4.811764705882354,21.44117647058824,6.2581,0.17620000000000058,647,22,142,6,20,206,95,170,0.16,0.563,0.276,0.9796,0,2,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,9,18,1,1,7,1,12,5,1,2,1,35,30,15,0,4,10,2,11,5,4,1,0,0,0,3,14,5,0,0,10,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,11,24,14,8,24,3,10,0,2,0,4,14,1,0,4,12,87,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089987392205763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691208937060634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354508082571026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4769876074625304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463450075859755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082377618390049,0.0,0.2112269968515944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345954010912482,0.0,0.13305225104826726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032994463065347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291961512472302,0.0,0.0,0.11926252786324615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22914427501894885,0.0,0.12751762740927453,0.08995649062496956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992632512843423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320408028874989,0.12931037420691416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249463495299056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868577633969176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290673401103546,0.0,0.14529915110450678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266744859801678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074969160737643,0.0,0.15085805988952591,0.09538715561717973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635178483294463,0.13240564368286115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149639214097104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696995429634623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432083795654492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957329836455032,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MoogicDoctor,2019/01/13,"Should I switch antidepressants? A couple days ago marked one year on Zoloft and it has helped. A couple months ago, though, after taking my meds (100mg), after a couple minutes I'd get crazy hungry.


I know the side effects of the meds are like gaining weight or losing weight or any of the 50 other side effects, but it's like a wild hungry. If I take zoloft before I go to bed(I was told to take it at around 6pm when I started)  I will wake up and have to like reheat a meal from last night cause of how hungry I am.


I feel like I should start taking them before lunch or something (I take them inconsistently a lot cause I'm dumb). I'm gonna talk to my doctor soon to see if it's a problem but I thought I'd ask reddit while I'm at it",3.610822784810125,3.7247752721519016,4.687189873417727,89.5992658227848,71.59493670886077,6.82632911392405,22.129113924050635,5.6839178017228535,0.1006840506329114,575,10,132,2,10,189,93,158,0.049,0.857,0.093,0.7469,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,4,5,7,1,0,10,0,8,8,1,5,0,22,27,13,0,5,7,0,3,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,6,3,4,0,5,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,3,4,15,4,16,20,1,22,0,1,1,0,6,7,1,6,18,71,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21477868815146506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238399015741142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784635213426924,0.113255920683794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617403750549307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24890230586561335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40213994772870654,0.0,0.07812967501964134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239989010752592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125547094988312,0.08654731058208093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329421195946695,0.0,0.06885052817800337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120215806159163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657912259947461,0.09875082546012796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23674486254715485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355323005543623,0.0,0.1029946919323319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691336071512756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669823386882646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368808145258068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209221879846032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592114305054235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653832856463243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326473875971382,0.0,0.0,0.17149668183995276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554366490195783,0.09737322289463743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902613303422645,0.0961770408128315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115760975692267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950483729871968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801457847392397
mentalhealth,comewindcomerain,2019/01/13,"Any movies, songs, books, etc. that have had an actual positive effect on your mental health? (For me, the movie Only Yesterday.) Only Yesterday is a Studio Ghibli movie, maybe their least well-known. My mental health was in a phase where it was getting better in steps, mostly by meditation. It had been awhile since I'd gotten a step better, but after watching this movie I took another step up. There's this beautiful scene with the sun rising and rain falling and Bulgarian singing that's maybe my favorite scene in any movie ever. That's likely what did it for me.


Another one that helped me is a documentary called ""Child of Rage,"" about a little girl who was abused when she was a baby, and that kind of turned her into an emotionless psychopath. It's very disturbing. But then in the documentary shows her going through therapy, and by the end she talks and cries like a normal kid. I saw this in a phase of my mental problem where I was unable to meditate as I was doing before to help my problem, and watching this put me in a mental state of being able to. I think it just gave me hope of possibly being a therapist and helping to fix horrible psychological problems like this, which kind of gave me a drive to get better I guess (hard to explain). It also was maybe because it showed me how possible it might be for me to get better.


Love, hope, and encouragement to you all!",6.337954545454544,6.771773704545456,6.757121212121213,76.00568181818183,65.74242424242425,9.933333333333335,29.37878787878788,9.827888789773867,2.677019696969696,1094,34,201,22,16,356,149,264,0.1,0.72,0.181,0.9763,1,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,0,2,1,5,9,18,1,1,17,0,19,3,0,2,2,28,35,15,0,6,3,0,1,3,0,1,2,1,1,3,21,10,0,0,3,5,0,9,0,5,0,1,16,5,25,13,33,15,4,29,0,0,3,1,21,12,0,5,10,139,46,1,0.09649839307117457,0.114334816255334,0.0941685115769164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716973007510915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124443271859326,0.20237395797003147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05882452475048557,0.0,0.08211302506108377,0.0,0.0,0.34137994725087906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853564849281304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059989535732304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546893402054162,0.0,0.10762121647256878,0.0,0.08728832117014249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124928266617818,0.0,0.0548422605886895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063038592929302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644360597571916,0.0,0.0,0.2051465587327275,0.0,0.0,0.19404251633034764,0.0,0.0,0.1916893557376535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20097645362164346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414327215973987,0.0967167408947891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709356729554173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29083681831674657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3889907342058772,0.10236954553390927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454793666091783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538980854306985,0.14678275262951646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175748780755193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27700778932939285,0.0,0.0970075380715399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982446793535466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756175305644711,0.0,0.0,0.11035432239523517,0.11204207196862984,0.0,0.0618322738456737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721326533842636,0.0,0.10496254145030666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962128041299532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676364436210354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sentualkoala,2019/01/13,"Happy during day, sad during night Before Christmas I was in a pretty good place in life and quite carefree, but then a couple of my friends and I decided to drop LSD together, honestly it was an incredible experience but it completely changed my outlook on life for the worse. Ever since then I either go to sleep way too late and miss the entire day or I don't sleep at all, and this isn't by choice whenever I try to go to sleep I keep having reoccurring thoughts about the future and I can't stop crying no matter how hard I try, but then when the day comes I get a huge burst of energy and I am completely happy

​

What can I do?",5.136461538461539,5.4003184538461575,6.269038461538463,79.05971153846156,68.30769230769229,9.576923076923078,28.55769230769231,9.516144504307137,2.361076923076922,509,16,102,10,8,171,85,130,0.086,0.659,0.255,0.9733,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,8,0,9,5,3,1,2,20,16,15,0,0,5,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,7,0,2,2,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,3,1,13,5,13,13,2,23,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,1,12,67,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323791092962374,0.17185132099990133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034538622560108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496127860168144,0.12182828108284878,0.2965705511571469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648813954041074,0.1553527591729867,0.27362938698823097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793033402910978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834438277673225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926744394334086,0.0,0.0738906457502358,0.0,0.16075435114273665,0.11862366305931785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011069100738883,0.12669231391904945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570830513274522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953770628182254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997905122451472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272123141395914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776286444794556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388380761685046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15042680530558689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699126194397415,0.0,0.4245924411090256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824070556257585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112278570693919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19204157422727056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122594997321798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412790303116824,0.0,0.0,0.17185132099990133,0.0
mentalhealth,asaberxd26,2019/01/13,"How can I help a friend with her depression?  She recently opened up to me to a lot of things she never told anyone else. I'm no psychologist but it's clear she is depressed.

She is having family problems, parents going through a divorce and economic struggles. I don't know what to say, and I really want to help her. I feel like if I say the wrong things I might make her feel even worse. ",1.75129746835443,3.9781348101265843,3.347325949367093,88.65238132911396,80.64556962025316,6.987974683544303,22.53322784810127,8.07648339933343,1.2383784810126581,306,10,64,6,8,101,57,79,0.251,0.5770000000000001,0.171,-0.8577,1,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,4,0,6,0,0,2,2,17,14,5,0,3,2,1,2,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,4,14,2,8,12,1,5,0,2,0,0,15,2,0,3,3,45,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551007270125875,0.19857189115491064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338408065218837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189575687259733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280036452520777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18269821011176987,0.0,0.19598308341829904,0.13845137851698913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973006954262244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014149918415844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598012727736799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650788848726406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468131463594867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476256722547267,0.0,0.0,0.12936358399299744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055920943972008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947117651637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151929286527859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18544125688794794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415379832172987,0.0,0.191354976416904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308236456981697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20260274546632787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25750536993187706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851850341191813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430877290155787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749964092762454,0.0,0.2118908253205767,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Helpmeoutofthishell,2019/01/13,"TOXIC FRIENDS... I’m in agony Here’s the backstory, I met a group of friends when we were in freshman year of high school. 
I’m in my senior year. I have one more semester left. And my life is a living hell.

I’m friends with the most toxic people but I’m scared of cutting them off because I’m scared of loneliness and what they’d say to me or do to me. I’m scared they’d tell my mom stuff I used to do, or they’d tarnish my other friendships. I’m scared to turn my back because of this. But I’m in so much pain. They cause so much drama and drag me into it. I’ve never felt worse in my entire life. I know it’s easy to say “block their numbers, stop hanging out with them” but I have no one else. It’s hard to explain but someone please message me",-0.4568934531450566,1.5659963658536604,1.5189987163029528,99.54589858793328,88.39024390243902,4.18433889602054,18.997432605905004,5.399115186594226,-0.5248487804878046,580,17,140,3,19,191,89,164,0.239,0.665,0.096,-0.9781,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,7,0,5,10,2,4,4,0,9,3,0,2,1,23,23,12,0,0,6,1,2,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,7,8,0,2,3,1,0,1,2,7,0,2,3,4,23,3,21,17,4,18,1,0,0,0,19,10,1,3,7,83,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582837170632237,0.0,0.16779498520649888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413831164733278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497154971496652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214563043681213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189959724724346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328874434104528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541282299924366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563741776065197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953454580652156,0.0,0.19442317078285495,0.0,0.0,0.1215291191510662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118967430601014,0.0,0.0,0.20234661905944684,0.0,0.10614813589790326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18652223717369895,0.0,0.14644718933164402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095414769192067,0.0,0.0,0.15107554981420585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21889655308090825,0.5511634190305015,0.13928811419518425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166127880345241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506418714653628,0.0,0.0,0.1575525247394049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029400097681214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970106570852787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886745354178475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402559290264006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17725740541675206
mentalhealth,goingtokermitsuicide,2019/01/13,"I legit cannot stop being fake Maybe fake is the wrong word. More like I cannot stop masking my emotions. 
SOOO MANY TIMES I tell myself “okay, now your gonna hangout with Blah, you don’t need to be all happy... just be r e a l. You’re having a bad day and that’s okay. Show it.” 
THEN MY BITCHASS is smiling laughing saying OooOo I’m great. 😀
WTF then I think to myself BRUH we talked about this. 
When I say this I mean it... I cannot stop masking my emotions even to my therapist and best friends. 
WHYYY 
Is there a disorder for that?? ",-1.3252538425710298,0.6103503451327477,0.40911970190964375,102.72231485794134,103.07079646017701,3.0869119701909646,15.681881695388913,4.9825596385082,-1.0825469026548675,411,11,97,2,19,131,79,113,0.122,0.594,0.284,0.9523,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,2,0,1,7,12,0,0,4,2,11,0,0,0,1,13,16,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,3,2,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,2,16,8,6,12,3,9,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,10,56,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370816866680276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19319198755702352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872336755561305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098406078261567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.414154852278136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159026895459428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222813256938915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029608099058053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959681309363972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993748958389684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866392257518158,0.18494400038793565,0.2005289016403445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365010312445331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927928625173855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4617245761117774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796525044918513,0.1609035153543582,0.0,0.0,0.2137436634215672,0.0,0.11795798218690752,0.0,0.0,0.10734485393473757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20127444330982205,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itsreilly22,2019/01/13,Share your story Has anyone ever saved you from suicide ? ,2.7360000000000007,5.329054600000006,2.8800000000000026,83.32000000000005,103.0,2.0,15.0,3.1291,-0.7040000000000001,46,1,6,0,2,14,10,10,0.273,0.424,0.303,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,1,1.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4419079753560917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5716787345909389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6913036711411148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JakeFromStateFarm100,2019/01/13,"How do I get through pain? First off, I’ve experienced a lot of pain, i mean a lot.

For two years I have been miserable. My anxiety and just a the way my thoughts keep me feel like shit, as well as severe dpdr and major depression has made my life a living hell for years. I don’t even remember what it feels like to not be in pain. For real.

I feel like I’ve done it all professional help wise, and honestly at this point I feel like there is no way out, it just never gets better.

My life has felt so weird, Just so painful. So my question is what are some tips to get through this? Maybe there is stuff I missed, and honestly I could use any help I can get. Any feedback is appreciated ",1.1996603396603405,3.1772296503496515,2.751613386613389,93.52763986013987,81.16783216783217,6.603196803196802,20.7037962037962,7.7094869923839395,0.5527586413586416,532,15,125,9,14,174,87,143,0.241,0.5870000000000001,0.172,-0.9186,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,11,19,2,1,5,0,15,7,1,3,2,29,30,10,0,1,4,0,5,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,8,5,0,1,9,0,0,0,4,10,1,2,5,6,15,9,14,23,5,11,1,3,0,0,3,5,2,4,8,81,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582017353562753,0.0,0.08898367041926697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287464952269874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928712083167304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018533223840287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903466028966415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682756257938424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352574034304801,0.33239309478316115,0.1116844232668786,0.0,0.0,0.09894083060687807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24308738022674606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15593226663909862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338961805380464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643190140061723,0.2273102335786377,0.0,0.1027117547334169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19778040569590014,0.0,0.11006379312902044,0.0,0.0,0.1168580091618336,0.1267054252960153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971233705892613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4950862113410824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995899553110304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030383319806033,0.0,0.0,0.13239641872775035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176668355090773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140729288438754,0.11939971995696565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331573567858151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923442450951282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136267021915956,0.0,0.0,0.10046221695059916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18465712011573265,0.0,0.0,0.10458469604840558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14981116687940346
mentalhealth,Hot-Wheels-420,2019/01/13,"Does anyone know any healthy coping mechanisms? I've been having panic attacks and mental breakdowns for a long time now, but as of the last month's, they've gotten worse. Can someone help with a way to calm down? Thank you.",3.5517441860465127,5.92347993023256,3.4211046511627927,89.68188953488372,75.27906976744184,5.230232558139536,22.377906976744185,5.985473137389443,0.3710046511627909,179,5,33,1,4,54,41,43,0.161,0.605,0.234,0.5733,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,2,6,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,16,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19785039988883169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034332703369323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309882976651509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546051286046394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950121548328125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989400374252885,0.23715639736928756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574743363844319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29320090277924565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322269679210233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413575137816741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465140418386779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678601189165055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965050247401547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23093605752769344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964945486587676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NightmareNasty_,2019/01/13,"Racist, Sexist, Pedophilic, Violent, Twisted, Bigoted intrusive thoughts from OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 8 years old, so I've dealt with intrusive thoughts all my life. I am used to most of them and can brush them off pretty well. Violent intrusive thoughts are the easiest to brush off. So are twisted ones.

Racist and Pedophilic intrusive thoughts are ultimately the hardest for me because they sicken me so much that it's harder to get them away. I am by no means a pedophile. Even having to say that makes me sick. OCD just shoves these horrible thoughts in my mind that are so bad sometimes I cant even be around my little cousins because they're a trigger and it's so fucking sickening. It seriously makes me feel nauseated. I feel guilt but guilt from intrusive thoughts has lessened over time because i'm so well aware I cannot help it, and I know that it does not reflect what I really think. 

Though pedophilic thoughts are the most horrendous and haunting, racist thoughts are the most anxiety-inducing.
If you did not know, turrets and OCD are strikingly similar because you get these intrusive urges or sensations or thoughts that make you want to do something. Intrusive thoughts for OCD people are kind of like people with turrets shouting curse words and other offensive thing.

My racist intrusive thoughts come to me more often than anything else and come in a deafening whirlwind. It is so much worse now because a couple years ago I was in a very abusive relationship with an EXTREMELY racist neo-nazi. (To get an idea of how abusive it was: I'm a flaming lesbian and was in this relationship for 3 years. When he broke up with me, it was the happiest I've ever been.) For an idea of how racist he was: When ever we would pass a group of black people,hed whispers monkey noises in my ear or make jokes about stereotypical racist things like fried chicken, watermelons, basketball etc. Some of it was 4chan dark humor but he was actually a racist person. For 3 years, he was openly racist with me. He frequently used the N word in derogatory ways beyond offensive internet humor, he used slurs for Mexicans frequently. I'm life long friends with the workers at a local Mexican restaurant and have known them since I was a toddler. We went on a date there once and my ex would make a racist comment every time the waiter left. Basically, I know the ins and outs of how a racist thinks and what they think because he was so open around me despite how much I tried to change him. 

Having this perspective of real racism has made me afraid of actually being racist so much more. And because I was exposed to constant horrible comments, those horrible comments replay in my head when around ethnicities other than my own! It's so hard! At work (i'm a cashier) I talk less around other ethnicities because I have this compulsive fear that I'll say a slur or something really racist. On the inside, I have all these really offensive thoughts rushing at me. Things I dont believe and it's so bad I cannot concentrate. I zone out, act really weird, my eyes twitch, and sometimes I cannot make eye contact with the individual because it's a trigger. There is nothing I can do to stop it

I guess I wanted to vent because I feel so guilty about many of my thoughts. The racist ones affect me the most in my day to day life.

The gross pedophilic thoughts are just as hard but i'm rarely around kids. I hate those thoughts because I care about children a lot. I'm a very nurturing person. I care so much about their safety, and I love children. Instead of being able to play with my younger cousins, tell stories, talk to them, hold them, I just have to feel anxious and awkward with really nauseating intrusive thoughts that make me want to stab my head.

It's so miserable for me. I'm not really sure what to do",5.714896265560168,7.01432809820194,5.6684871369294605,80.17718713692949,67.46473029045643,9.214152143845089,33.27051175656985,9.490545024520769,3.0818544619640384,3057,136,566,62,50,957,295,723,0.249,0.675,0.076,-0.9994,0,0,2,0,0,0,74.0,2,3,9,2,47,36,7,8,35,0,51,14,5,18,5,128,111,50,0,6,14,3,6,2,1,2,6,5,0,5,38,41,0,2,31,2,0,6,9,21,2,2,33,16,71,15,82,73,18,62,0,2,3,3,45,32,1,13,25,364,109,2,0.04827515759889666,0.11439633548500824,0.09421918008263948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042793014455087965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05453718710945316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03972634139388833,0.21487562595389706,0.0,0.0,0.045356099685175656,0.0,0.08061548028079739,0.3237089679832175,0.0,0.0,0.054389571219502664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843948108534392,0.0,0.05106871568216749,0.08316954739373633,0.0,0.05216829530047451,0.0,0.0,0.05341554367500676,0.0,0.06226696589428871,0.0,0.0,0.04899826877879581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422459157353407,0.0,0.05657812517129381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04032769964095394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05383956168437151,0.06377057260043299,0.087335287706267,0.04067390236754488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432297359147476,0.09763748075276392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037297267009201454,0.04462960530465399,0.07566533208531644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318052868457654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649011800262456,0.0476617236921628,0.09908847815954487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032357820541891825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899355371355142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027114785785153,0.07959229233574093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052451099982406005,0.0,0.10229451443436803,0.047169607060844235,0.04838439025304659,0.0,0.04272199534440671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04104181265460948,0.04357021452099517,0.04567912136455477,0.22556829792004016,0.048943432719683336,0.0,0.05258579897259735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874414747439638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743897723006952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632131570434171,0.0,0.05065665714445313,0.05141146731212113,0.0654249923198219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693583173973215,0.08430401111144871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04911319051051433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494769812455893,0.18555781268346846,0.0,0.0,0.10365890557565104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678068589117973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03993370922752108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743291496608801,0.09549073051578466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04036019337114299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045498764723937185,0.0,0.0,0.07760348609504808,0.04219461555513846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962156088752612,0.09279831517183112,0.04743009723455312,0.6132013239374853,0.05629926522890056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03277566314508085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508270895023327,0.0,0.07966412160518081,0.08542181615410151,0.0383185730783781,0.0,0.0,0.08681032858953054,0.044751554742285066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03514488968634883,0.0,0.0491965098553711,0.06858657375263906,0.0,0.0,0.12435047492190204
mentalhealth,Tyrienne,2019/01/13,"I wrote an article on PTSD and Cannabis use, I hope it helps! Hi everyone!  I was first diagnosed with PTSD in 2004 and have been on disability since 2012.

I just researched and published this article I hope can be helpful to other people with similar conditions.  
 https://www.monroeblvd.com/blogs/marijuana-effects/managing-ptsd-with-marijuana

Feel free to share it as much as you like, I am really proud of it😄",9.433636363636367,12.247876909090913,8.867090909090912,55.00063636363637,60.21212121212121,10.734545454545453,31.381818181818186,10.793553405168565,3.752494545454545,340,12,52,9,5,108,50,66,0.0,0.688,0.312,0.9689,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,1,6,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,1,0,11,11,5,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,7,7,10,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,2,34,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20690706970981648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947908100785681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307448375168632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733977318130292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732774849962151,0.0,0.0,0.40494515862195596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995925511203603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985582040346854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132638916674065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7148816991237417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059380885961114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862976927229528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17606402175212146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,datagalore,2019/01/13,"I don’t know what I look like and it’s ruining my life This is something I have never shared with anyone, partially because I’m a guy and feel embarrassed that I’m so focused in on my appearance. But here it goes - I don’t know what I look like and it’s ruining my life. It’s at a point where I take videos of myself just so I can see, but I look like a completely different person under changes in lighting. I can go from viewing myself as attractive to ugly as fuck in a matter of seconds. I know that’s not normal, but I can’t stop. I’ll see one video of myself and be like, “Fuck I’m 100% happy with looking like that”, but the next video is a completely different person. This causes me to have multiple images of myself in my head, all with a varying level of confidence attached. It’s fucking killing me.",2.8902884615384608,4.204139136904761,4.761904761904763,83.9395054945055,74.29761904761905,8.026373626373626,27.20879120879121,8.617729084823388,1.9903813186813195,637,24,130,12,13,218,88,168,0.165,0.669,0.16699999999999998,-0.1592,2,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,5,15,4,1,7,0,10,6,1,1,2,24,29,12,1,1,6,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,12,7,0,1,4,3,0,2,5,7,0,2,0,9,21,8,20,28,1,15,0,2,7,3,4,10,3,1,8,88,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188455395576788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010599069334158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349937198477058,0.13901379061285624,0.0,0.27556064958155113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27458984550176124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644457435450546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3644578010675518,0.0,0.0,0.0746830277839705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011603137412106,0.0,0.13988781996343344,0.0,0.0,0.13486402361032432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538510404856078,0.0,0.21665761735655872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18563678396150454,0.3210001363680565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4414034200309615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135108121245164,0.0,0.13975545775636525,0.0,0.12875337567723594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904645497450113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294833537895903,0.0,0.0,0.12422442053641257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20943266130858595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011654269092703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986419759033836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880356422141234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sselini,2019/01/13,"I don't feel like I have a place I can call home. How am I supposed to cope with that loneliness? I've always lived with my mother, who was abusive and did a lot of bad things to the point I would have classes until late night just to avoid being with her. 

Two years ago she moved out to another country and I refused to go with her, then I was sent to live with my father. Although I was much better not being in the same place as her, my father were always absent since I was born and so, even when I was living with him, I sometimes felt like I was living with a stranger.

So, I decided to move out again and went to live with my aunt, who I believed was a really good person, just to find out she points every little wrong thing I've done (plus, I have anxiety) and I really try to do literally everything she asks me to, but she always picks up something to complain about, to the point she would say I am useless and lazy, or treat me like I'm just a burden to her, or lash at me almost everyday for every small thing, just like my mother did. 

Well, my conclusion is basically... I don't have a place I can call home, where I can feel comfortable and where I feel respected and people don't try to hurt me all the time. I don't have the confidence to go live alone right now, so I know I need to wait a couple of years to get my own place, but still... I wonder how I am supposed to not kill myself, when my aunt just threatened me a couple minutes ago just because I forgot to clean her bathroom.

Sorry about the rant... ",6.047879746835445,4.6761186297468385,6.638449367088607,82.6450791139241,66.81645569620252,9.672151898734178,28.927215189873408,8.472884824447931,1.794605063291138,1181,29,259,14,16,389,152,316,0.141,0.762,0.096,-0.8262,0,2,1,0,0,1,38.0,0,0,0,2,22,18,1,1,14,0,32,0,0,3,1,55,48,24,1,3,12,6,4,4,0,2,0,1,3,1,6,20,0,4,9,0,0,6,6,8,1,1,15,5,52,10,42,29,5,40,0,2,0,0,27,18,0,5,20,188,58,2,0.0,0.10146088930538016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181665686276152,0.0,0.08574889992246695,0.08868977635165629,0.0,0.0,0.21376009924343087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979347857626482,0.06550887316300548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005512742494326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149982808795433,0.05220097245638572,0.0,0.0,0.09647886431803128,0.0,0.07573527070211665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488136775479782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18950217385964435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763210627495817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655967020378173,0.0,0.1442986888779189,0.0,0.07696125727399741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298955808074456,0.06117610395202985,0.08222093653364539,0.0,0.07826684640975705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04473961425666592,0.0,0.09733421040218354,0.0718247468688505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179340172324262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167170526043134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947400281342318,0.0,0.04706155856013045,0.0,0.09659755123224416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734348212424294,0.08582658251699014,0.4536920952897167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280196158358929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18202827196174406,0.06294997597911438,0.06349565122312514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036060095078103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936701543729545,0.0747712756978932,0.3578722849009613,0.0,0.24285208254858096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971715491063164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312996066968552,0.0,0.06809865577396111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083635387984494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592432872899072,0.08469304892919065,0.0958589314940892,0.0,0.0,0.06838648092976075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067192231558787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049933186173715366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162781278324874,0.0,0.08365082252426548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769941895624822,0.07938248236187052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286514079334432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166219726966282,0.09362604616249724,0.0,0.11028945741689414
mentalhealth,mizztephanie,2019/01/13,"I feel invisible tears on my face? No joke help? My cheeks feel like tears are falling down them but I am not crying ? This has been happening for 4 years and it comes and goes everyday. Sometimes it will stop for a week the longest it has stopped was 3 weeks,
Now it is happening again everyday....Anybody know what it could be or anybody else experience this?",2.816397515527953,5.313498507246378,3.4745755693581764,87.70826086956524,78.42028985507247,7.421118012422363,27.248447204968944,8.418075326091056,2.010070807453417,283,12,57,6,7,89,54,69,0.162,0.722,0.116,-0.3354,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,10,2,2,0,0,12,16,4,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,2,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,5,2,4,11,0,12,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,9,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108087148464766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19564506520213168,0.0,0.2691657101480285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047000675592172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396968308340469,0.0,0.0,0.24779988797210956,0.17505712986905006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333773754526996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424562050317829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466796406584994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971451183755323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24235152465787585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40973000609169424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39311374866667204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779818117671815
mentalhealth,CatholicGal4Eva,2019/01/13,"I need help I don’t know how to deal with all of this I’m having intense anxiety, my sister isn’t taking care of her health and I’m helpless to help her. She’s not taking her seizure medication. I think it’s her husband’s fault and I hate him for it. I tried to call my friend but she’s not supportive honestly I think she couldn’t care less. It’s too much. And this week my brother who is 20 months is getting an MRI. 

I’ve already had to see my dad almost die in a car accident when I was 9. It was horrific. He survived but seeing him, him having a broken neck, laying on the road, in the hospital, living that trauma was horrible. And twice I saw my sister’s seizures which were horrible because I thought that she was dying and she could die without her medicine. 

I’m crying and I’m so worried. I don’t have anyone to rely on. And I can’t do anything to help my siblings. What can I do? 

I don’t know why these things keep on happening. 

It took a few days to hit me. But now it’s hit me hard. My emotions are always so buried, and I can’t express them well. 
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mentalhealth,kaay_laa,2019/01/13,"21F looking for some insight or honest opinions... I  Have diagnosed depression, anxiety and adhd. All of which I take medications for daily. I try not to take Ativan and the Vyvanse if I can help it. Just because I don’t like to rely on the drugs. But if ever I stop taking them I just cry constantly. 

The medications do take an effect but they don’t get rid of the overwhelming ache that I am unfulfilled with myself. 

I have taken legitimate actions to improve my quality of life, mental health, etc. 

I was in a shit relationship so I broke it off and finally was able to forgive myself and forget him after years of pain. 
I didn’t enjoy my job and kept getting panic attacks. So I went back to school. Finished school. I now work in a dental office as a receptionist. Been there for a year almost. 
The people at work seem like they mean well but I feel like I’m stuck in a box. Especially since my boss never gives me the chance to prove I’m worthy. When I try to take initiative I end up getting on her nerves because I apparently did something she has to ‘fix.’ So she actually just takes over and doesn’t teach me any new things. Her being a very passive aggressive manager stops my heart and I just crumble and feel like a complete idiot. But I feel like that I’m general each day too. I feel I’ve already hit the top that I can go at work but then I worry it’s just me being crazy and paranoid and over sensitive. 

My home life is comfortable. My boyfriend and I have been together over 2 years. We have an awesome dog 7 months old. We have a cozy main floor home with garage and yard and day-to-day we just live life. 

I used to have a lot of family drama and I have learned to distance myself from the toxicity of it all without feeling too guilty or responsible for my families state of being. 

Overall I have no real reason to be sad. But every day I go to sleep and have nightmares. Every morning I wake up I don’t remember the nightmares and I feel too emotionally crippled to move. So I am usually late for work. 
I do my best to keep the house tidy. To eat healthy and eat enough. To be open with my boyfriend about how I feel day to day. To show others I care about them and to not space out and sink into my own issues. 

But after all that I really just don’t want to exist. Even after reinventing myself, upgrading my quality of life,  work environment, relationship, etc. It sounds so dramatic but I just don’t see anything ever feeling consistently good because I’ve never been able to feel fulfilled. 

I have felt this way since I can remember. It’s just developed into something that I have been slightly more able to cope with and put into words. But probably since I was 14 at least. Sometimes I honestly think I’m just making it up and over reacting. It’s like I can be happy and some days I am. But overall I just tingle with insecurity and lack of motivation. 

I am not looking for pity or criticism. I’m just curious...

Is it ‘normal’ to feel this way? Does anyone have any similar stresses or understand at least what this is that I feel?",2.2829989035087688,4.557032442434213,4.101802631578948,83.70328508771932,79.01644736842105,7.277017543859649,24.771491228070172,8.291686609442984,1.73876701754386,2407,89,472,49,60,811,281,608,0.13,0.718,0.153,0.9596,2,0,3,0,0,0,60.0,3,0,4,9,31,29,4,4,21,0,47,17,4,8,8,123,93,48,0,5,32,0,12,6,0,0,11,1,3,0,22,37,2,5,25,3,0,6,14,13,1,0,14,16,77,16,72,72,17,64,0,5,3,0,17,25,1,12,36,331,99,13,0.18778013672928515,0.0,0.06108210861246899,0.0,0.07522507771255083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626782273832757,0.0,0.0690733501098893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513128815411936,0.0,0.0478837635403556,0.0,0.0,0.04376674590225543,0.0,0.05150901754120913,0.0,0.0,0.07120900478342668,0.0,0.048130444722907284,0.0,0.11446902843795664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568788946119909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638181214285262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562796689801598,0.06764120589620971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875588757373173,0.2825728582303013,0.0,0.05391158553600117,0.06353096201313299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054775887693269416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258844745273334,0.12809730615772374,0.0,0.07040912643500677,0.055439155014895734,0.06467569267865245,0.13961632659371687,0.04134233643768157,0.11323858952490225,0.1054752427235402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180149339361166,0.0,0.34814002407115896,0.13415016719964673,0.06009945970597175,0.06856798705545399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981073711017239,0.06004527262072967,0.07114651939880122,0.05250035650676037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663181576859273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653383478272154,0.0,0.07417345538343682,0.04195502247141284,0.0,0.1255725251973127,0.0,0.0,0.07222435531394415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533122531140846,0.06211427025112961,0.055635871167032995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060805778589209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176846218520388,0.18347977932969867,0.0,0.05527110034118158,0.0,0.10512534747777873,0.0,0.0,0.053214652388667454,0.0,0.0,0.04178156646781877,0.0,0.0,0.06818253951054055,0.0,0.1261124881882794,0.06307940382120218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996143787010369,0.06652685591604678,0.0,0.0,0.09655174514923516,0.06045307539507973,0.0,0.0,0.061328221498859276,0.0,0.0,0.0656812218261326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660376832133323,0.07343984365371471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0433943676946263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748624915682838,0.0,0.0,0.06292363421157147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124496863389478,0.04009892132466211,0.0643564184317712,0.0,0.13440372806190962,0.14181219290955174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669568231538433,0.04987881899899352,0.056982661316543386,0.0,0.0,0.06425120395984582,0.15533366956885522,0.0,0.06263858309942974,0.0,0.0,0.09637488224109264,0.06190645225030876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466173502907196,0.07170050406018008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28237458658812664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04158425964068595,0.040107309795509055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499359108485423,0.0,0.0,0.0651619149191308,0.0,0.0540605823353496,0.06893776374313883,0.05164609290949662,0.036919196619504366,0.0993674213931984,0.0,0.0,0.0562789648024846,0.0580246893455779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033778361907504,0.0,0.22784362664925684,0.06356661463777938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092425144004082
mentalhealth,vitalogy95,2019/01/13,"Inner voice sometimes feels distorted/strange, anyone else? I’m 24 f and I remember this first happening to me when I was a kid and I was sick with a fever. I kept having a repetitive dream and was in and out of sleep. In the dream state I kept thinking this repetitive voice that sounded intense, scary, and sort of slow-motion. 

To be clear, this isn’t a hallucination, I don’t actually audibly hear anything, it’s just regarding the voice I think with in my head. My inner voice or dialogue, whatever you’d call that. 

This has continued to happen to me ever since. Most of the time it occurs after I’ve been alone, not speaking, and in silence for a while or hearing a respective music or sound. Sounds also start to be perceived a bit strange too and sometimes that’s what triggers the distortion of my inner thoughts. 



Usually talking to someone or hearing someone talk can stop it.

Lately it has been causing me a lot of anxiety which seems to perpetuate if but I think that is largely due to the fact that I’ve suddenly become worried that it’s something wrong with my brain. 

It usually sounds/feels a bit scary though even if it doesn’t make me super anxious. 

Does anyone else experience this or have any idea what I mean? It’s really difficult to explain and I have found only one or two posts about a very similar experience online and they were from years ago and have almost no replies. ",4.22400811084826,6.1731497397769495,5.102056437985809,80.26149290300779,72.04832713754648,8.459682325109835,30.071138898276445,9.095868883498916,2.7181360594795536,1116,48,205,24,22,363,153,269,0.128,0.8220000000000001,0.051,-0.9521,0,1,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,1,2,8,4,0,0,15,0,20,5,3,3,3,50,39,23,0,2,11,0,1,0,0,0,2,12,0,1,22,14,0,3,12,2,0,0,5,2,0,3,10,13,20,2,26,26,4,28,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,13,18,136,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.10454650744895308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496707996329397,0.0,0.1072783817531007,0.1109576413651136,0.0,0.08567434724229803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285422076380949,0.0,0.08195657215137099,0.12102997358674665,0.0,0.14981998920556358,0.21954116027184967,0.08816146017855367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832015528998785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339233212061533,0.0,0.0,0.11959603468683655,0.10939493187940044,0.0,0.0,0.11005526380493784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375294797171432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899201191155267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076044004572704,0.0969080743297837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095935702971745,0.0,0.0,0.10833948671451743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112740892955376,0.0,0.11746597734639512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894749944984427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994952737782382,0.0,0.3622405636686379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120940294377506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085086790474665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108077927764244,0.0,0.0,0.07151221444678578,0.0,0.0,0.11669941553674755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072596200061523,0.08147959378451758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260395042007048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863224391222139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136098293882674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753000282925847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862165485960576,0.0,0.1072105276545674,0.0,0.18154715315799366,0.08247633859559961,0.2119148640524824,0.0,0.07582940019751343,0.0,0.0,0.08956811666619162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221914752356404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20593980418536348,0.10525778317084804,0.08505176006163118,0.06247020560422339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104653527693453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23598407436821814,0.08839607472178522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879892167600644,0.0,0.0,0.11713328953882216,0.0,0.06899024084746253
mentalhealth,witches_tit,2019/01/13,"Never really posted on Reddit before. Here goes. As the title says, this is my first time posting on Reddit, so go easy on me I guess. I'm not sure where to start, so I guess I'll just give some context about my life. I'm an upperclassman in highschool, and help construct sets for the school's theater department. I'm also Lesbian and am closeted to most of my family. When I was younger, I was diagnosed with ASD, more commonly known as Asperger's, along with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Later on down the line I was diagnosed with PTSD due to a particularly traumatic car accident. Normally, I would talk to my friends or an adult I trust about things like this, but at this point I need an outsider's perspective and calling the hotlines hasn't been helping. In short, the past couple years of my life have contained some of the most painful moments of my existence. First, I had many people I cared about die in quick succession. Then, I needed to be transferred to a new school for a semester, and was subsequently bullied so harshly that I was forced to sit in an entirely different classroom by myself while the perpetuators got off the hook. Fast forward to my sophomore year, and I get my first girlfriend, who proceeded to break up with me over text and never spoke to me again, though the breakup was mutual. I then found out I developed heart problems, then discovered the heart problems were caused by stress and carbon monoxide poisoning. Now, my parents are getting divorced, my mom is barely at home and instead opts to either work or stay with her new boyfriend. I've attempted suicide a handful of times up to this point. I want to tell my friends how much I'm hurting, hell I HAVE told some of my friends how much I'm hurting. I know that they can't take the time out of their day to help me because they have problems of their own to deal with. Though at times, it feels like my existence as a being is being ignored. I'm never the first choice to approach for a conversation, I'm never the one that anyone ever notices missing, and at times I feel like the one person that everyone keeps around solely because they feel bad. I've told them what's been going on, and at this point it feels like they don't believe me when I say that I'm suffering. I've been downright miserable for the past 2 months and I've been trying to reach out for help but nobody wants to provide it. I feel abandoned by everyone. I feel like I've become inconsquential in the grand scheme of anyone's life. I feel like I don't even matter anymore. I feel so alone and I need help. I know my friends care about me but I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do anymore.

TLDR;
I'm going through shit, I can't get help from my friends and family, have come to this subreddit in a last ditch effort to feel less empty",5.1169051116333755,6.044299853260871,5.512798668233451,82.11077555816688,68.58333333333334,8.721190755973366,30.860947904426165,8.918530864059932,2.442287446141795,2237,88,435,38,37,715,261,552,0.171,0.708,0.12,-0.9892,2,1,0,0,1,2,57.0,0,0,7,8,25,34,3,2,27,0,33,12,4,3,6,79,81,37,2,10,8,2,10,6,6,1,7,3,2,2,19,26,0,4,14,0,0,8,12,17,0,6,17,13,60,17,79,60,11,83,1,7,0,1,37,31,2,9,46,283,79,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491233878473312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645583495759888,0.0,0.04984780129529626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768469273411849,0.0,0.18545322013989884,0.08716958217214481,0.0,0.0,0.05548972308151233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052045580519034164,0.07599542510252315,0.06884207210174142,0.053040923598109364,0.07022811992040318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364912021581871,0.0,0.1271056110125188,0.0640333203372394,0.0,0.053694493421549534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897045008284236,0.0,0.04019972808992985,0.06426274545871093,0.053687454807656736,0.12653367984101874,0.06469197344530739,0.0651248797284927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04117046080306402,0.056383907068928686,0.0,0.11912400109393095,0.0,0.0,0.11752430148975755,0.0,0.2836576432742319,0.22265409087134416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208219818839488,0.0,0.06834508678730868,0.2407922034956473,0.0,0.09769950187802423,0.05979564184930415,0.10627610485675212,0.0,0.04985351805769437,0.0,0.1373339948137592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773017688996656,0.25068359802373635,0.0,0.06252523650145755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334578626281408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540457193510042,0.0,0.0,0.10277001501511952,0.05080984057792756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208325173043906,0.18271698491048832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631960352929132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300383742665066,0.049753729390606564,0.0,0.09164408170218302,0.13865773317425967,0.1923006864948696,0.12040349846842753,0.0,0.0,0.06107325702664153,0.0,0.07096670977024294,0.0,0.0,0.08447711764236858,0.0,0.06632687141770986,0.0,0.06921359166568164,0.0,0.11900809861414598,0.043213960994642524,0.05442690638442543,0.0,0.0,0.17677493715018694,0.0,0.11939586345927825,0.0,0.0,0.1789332323218099,0.07286412217812796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03993221503411309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991396529782366,0.0,0.12616896073461242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398408755068527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441197277254652,0.06643884922280235,0.0,0.0,0.07140241811004715,0.0,0.0,0.06818235416421534,0.0,0.058748260624586865,0.0,0.09373354975902937,0.05010102861199032,0.05448192465505282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04141137824036602,0.0,0.1224840160251235,0.0,0.18173481888509946,0.0,0.0,0.11912400109393095,0.0,0.04232012038730914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353141927985128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04537927900776004,0.0,0.0,0.04427968467512729,0.0,0.0,0.08028101591140177
mentalhealth,thatgrljme,2019/01/13,"Latuda for BP2 Side Effects I've been on Latuda for 2 months, dose increased 2 weeks after starting from 20mg to 40mg. I seemed to do well on the 20mg, as well as coming off of Lexapro and I think the Latuda is really helping me. 

Once my dose increased to 40mg I am finding myself having to wait later to take it or I fall asleep within an hour. I usually try not to eat after 630pm, so if I take it with dinner I'm asleep by 8pm. Some nights I'm ok with that, lets be real lol but most nights I'd like to stay up until at least 9pm. 

Also this eating 350mg before I take it is killing me. I eat keto and just lost 35 lbs over the last year. In two weeks I put on 6lbs.....I thought this was supposed to be weight neutral. Does anyone have suggestions regarding the eat, as well as what y'all have done to combat going to sleep two hours after taking it. I have a Pdoc appt on Thursday and will be discussing this with her and to see if there is another option. I'm less concerned with the falling asleep vs the weight gain.",1.7441565656565636,3.079515122727273,3.3903030303030306,92.524898989899,77.31818181818181,5.7979797979797985,20.85858585858585,6.139981653823899,0.05301010101010117,797,19,180,5,18,265,136,220,0.065,0.831,0.104,0.5093,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,3,7,7,1,0,8,2,17,13,4,1,0,26,33,15,1,2,7,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,9,7,1,5,0,0,7,1,2,3,2,5,3,16,5,38,23,6,36,0,1,1,0,5,11,0,7,18,110,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173410622932462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202841719182046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020838936881987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761035779745794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881311182178436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038410755820193,0.11738887393452302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.469510739150756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484350264981727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519273494675408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688816495245203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259338677533706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691039496765547,0.0,0.0,0.09350453163338372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729946376699155,0.0,0.05604185429826998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522028085830994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156098721757767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152964445408852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216315292386047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531593791812687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056589122524434,0.07348661246282945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140957713563977,0.10442831405277887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147935438008274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119282465440683,0.12226634463281215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449926852303459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350198545257385,0.0,0.0910674833672118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788103624168384,0.0,0.22411137372436385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633763106067358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840280103661878,0.2793734614046233,0.3094160894826206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386993057314205
mentalhealth,convolvulusflowers,2019/01/13,"DAE Ever feel like throwing up as a means of expression/venting? (Depression) 19 F, and no, I don't have an eating disorder. Of course, sometimes my anxiety makes me incredibly nauseous, but this is something else entirely - self-harmers may understand this better. Just like ""bleeding out the bad feelings"", I somehow get the sense that if I threw up, I'd feel better emotionally as though the bad feeling is a stomach bug or a bad piece of food, and that the act of vomiting is also a way to vent feelings as literally as possible. 

I feel sick, sick people throw up. The difference is, I'm just depressed. I haven't actually acted on this, but it's tempting. The idea of my esophagus rupturing after repeated episodes doesn't sound like grand time.",7.385125899280574,7.623176244604322,7.909991007194248,69.2986555755396,63.53237410071942,11.55431654676259,39.677158273381295,11.20814326018867,4.773984892086332,594,31,101,16,8,197,94,139,0.222,0.659,0.119,-0.9552,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,6,11,0,0,11,0,9,7,1,1,1,22,21,12,0,1,6,0,6,3,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,3,2,0,9,0,0,5,4,5,0,0,1,7,8,6,16,19,1,15,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,4,7,64,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.14593512411059326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959171858518194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440212418792653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37459347798488096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645222067157376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576071489643743,0.0,0.0,0.15624352703633984,0.1713924376161079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302268288544313,0.1249263227940514,0.16821889155793882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352727336352277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536890851417742,0.1068355461440902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808313694533116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813150584311168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16881900027670182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21918156540848271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982297969935244,0.0,0.0,0.16289921208802172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036762249874797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859041469166353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600887937161442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512765947741538,0.14790461556775894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469279847358253,0.0,0.08720135593738489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568244707036955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870249163767264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,elyssamoore,2019/01/13,"Withdrawal from antidepressants It’s been about a week since I ran out of medication. I feel like all the good parts of my personality have peeled away, but somehow I see the truth now. I am a burden to these people, an afterthought, an inconvenience. It would be better if i disappeared into silence. That would be better for everyone. I forgot what this feeling was like. It’s like the drug just put a rug over it, it didn’t get rid of it. It’s been here this whole time, waiting to come out again. I feel utterly and unbearably alone, like I’m stuck in a black whole of emotion. A void. I wish I wasn’t here because I have nothing to offer anyone. I feel like a parasite, a leech, and I hang around where I’m not wanted. Why did god make me this way? I wish I could reinvent myself. Make myself magnetic to the attentions of others, so I didn’t feel like I was clawing at a window for people that don’t want to give me the time of day. But it’s my fault really. I’m a mess. I’m overweight, pale, weak. I’m worthless.",1.2134928229665078,3.422552622009569,3.1896411483253617,89.11498803827752,82.58851674641149,6.4794258373205755,20.983253588516746,7.686295010490155,0.8391416267942584,794,24,170,14,22,267,117,209,0.14800000000000002,0.6509999999999999,0.201,0.8305,0,1,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,10,15,0,0,16,0,17,4,0,2,2,33,41,6,0,8,5,0,5,6,0,2,4,0,2,1,16,7,1,2,7,0,0,5,5,5,0,0,11,7,22,10,23,25,4,22,0,1,2,0,3,9,0,2,13,112,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890807540936308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702873560005663,0.0,0.0,0.11080012816958244,0.0,0.0,0.11693884860323958,0.0,0.0,0.07587263347207876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201581374634881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721547022984967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937507608462663,0.0,0.0,0.08026954861900522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14433974175486933,0.0,0.0,0.14000623354608108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893152331912216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31466590654291177,0.35567093055825605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502776087197114,0.119398050899496,0.0,0.1043952332106122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648435101595753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661625430962921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253852687028011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119427405836294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347833322338664,0.0,0.17257654754874768,0.10867792932413108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512157831024234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973538699004931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918239204717272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295863202384603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515294081223282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468252178647704,0.09879442560113233,0.09983821632123044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231019176649044,0.277921179426475,0.2862569308879142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683255438509873,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peachvampires,2019/01/13,"i think im going crazy ok so im 15 and female, and have been diagnosed with ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety.  i take Concerta, Prozac, an acid reflux medicine, and Latuda.

to the point; i think im going crazy. ive been having minor hallucinations (knocking) every now and again but i think its getting worse. a few minutes ago i got this sudden feeling that my skin was not my own and i just started rejecting it in my mind. i kept rubbing at my nose and my upper lip and i felt like it was a scab i had to get off. i was scratching at my thighs, too. i was recently discharged from the behavioral unit in my nearest city. while i was there they doubled my dose of Latuda. i told my girlfriend what happened and about my medication and she said the meds might have something to do with it. i trust her, but i also know what ive gone through in the past. should i tell my grandma? what should i do?

tl;dr: i think im going crazy and i dont know what to do
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mentalhealth,Overloaded_Wolf,2019/01/13,"Left college due to constant failings and lack of motivation, constantly distracted by everything except what I should be doing Just this past month ago, I was dismissed from college due to poor academic standing. During my time there, I was on academic probation around 4 times, each time I would do enough to get out of probation, only to fall into it the next semester. This last semester was the tipping point and I was drained of all motivation to work or study. I still find it hard to bring myself to look for work, even though I know I need it. I was a Computer Science major, but I find it harder and harder each day to go and re-learn how to code, even though I still have an interest. I'm conflicted in what I enjoy and I always fall back on watching videos, gaming, and browsing sites like reddit. Part of me feels like this all a symptom or a result of depression. If it is, I need to find a way out of it before it consumes me completely. I want to work, I want to study, I want to be a better me, but I have no will to do it. I don't want to take meds for depression if I don't have to, but if I don't get better or find natural fixes for my life, it will be a choice I have to make. If anyone can give me any insight, it would be much appreciated. ",5.711495016611295,4.9735826744186085,6.781638981173867,79.26488372093026,67.2170542635659,10.3171650055371,31.21926910299004,9.784248007369934,2.666605980066445,982,33,207,19,14,332,131,258,0.08800000000000001,0.757,0.155,0.9572,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,8,11,10,0,1,9,0,26,2,0,5,2,49,43,19,0,14,12,0,2,2,0,5,2,0,0,0,15,12,0,1,9,2,1,4,4,4,0,0,5,4,29,6,36,29,9,32,0,3,2,0,2,10,0,7,18,150,44,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177443221964758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553327099182957,0.0,0.0,0.0780764972020562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027963133352871,0.0,0.0,0.102207545356502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828379351992588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976970563799896,0.0,0.0,0.2030848085840013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037881453439846,0.2481432402779202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404462130825562,0.0,0.1977758283013286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863209515458295,0.0,0.15166526362713895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318615129368662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058052694426320314,0.08202213609217167,0.0,0.0,0.4197465031614315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996967744624593,0.1101386966277745,0.06525063984372179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284952771398936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309799597495692,0.09358758337641412,0.0,0.0,0.12474421323152765,0.0,0.08109552659713379,0.11218326256683042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641365796503357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663829429002543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753090306488082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164231268329756,0.0,0.08440046297826616,0.17026415902418485,0.0,0.0,0.12210449028169072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873201471300579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433084482997213,0.10960160694106023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853500674428007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18337896280821991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193342403004666,0.08632477787237164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22560557033136916,0.0,0.20084443077975697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708777573149329,0.09113288858423302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507547952952184,0.0,0.0,0.16311913732770186,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,newaccount130119,2019/01/13,"How do I help a suicidal family member I read one of my older brother’s notebooks and in it he had written that he had thought about killing himself. The family already know that he has depression but he has only ever spoken to our mum about it. I don’t know how to talk to him about it as I think he would be angry about me reading his private stuff.


",5.631712328767122,4.969736520547947,6.722020547945206,79.37426369863014,67.35616438356165,9.491780821917807,33.31849315068493,8.841846274778883,2.6825643835616435,278,11,56,4,4,94,52,73,0.163,0.812,0.025,-0.8859999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,7,2,1,0,2,0,8,0,0,2,1,10,13,5,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,10,0,10,7,0,3,0,1,0,0,13,1,0,0,2,42,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534845070637077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19784405509324846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20778077218379892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43308971270917984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396601110404592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541338747373207,0.0,0.252479051644737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556536399130249,0.17470053997932042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595331038768126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26295657102094083,0.2512593208596018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846276881713041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718529848330714,0.0,0.1823596279610065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317540858964616,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YMTTIATBIN,2019/01/13,"I'm not sure what to do. I feel really trapped So I just feel like I need to get some things off my chest so I'm sorry if this post is poorly typed I'm just trying to get it all out while it's in my mind.

I'm not going to work tomorrow. I haven't been back to work since we broke up for Christmas on Christmas Eve. I had a bad bought of depression/anxiety and I decided that I would return to work on Monday after going into work on Friday to talk to my boss just to get my foot in the door.

It was all going great until this evening and now I feel like really pressured and stressed again and I know when it gets to tomorrow morning I'll run away and hide from my life and responsibilities like I always do. I always do the same thing, get ready for work and drive somewhere far away and turn my phone off and get horrible thoughts going through my brain.

Work is really supportive and has told me not to worry in the past and everything seemed great on Friday but I have a feeling that they are eventually going to get sick and tired of the same thing happening over and over, this is the longest period I have had off of work so far, I just don't want to go to work I just want everyone to piss off and leave me alone. I just want to sit and do what I want but at the same time that makes me so angry that I feel like crashing my car every time I get in it.

I'm so angry, confused and upset, I've been suffering for almost 4 years now and it's to the point that I don't look forward to anything. I've been on and off medication but it keeps feeling like an uphill battle. I don't want to hurt myself but I'm always thinking that I want to die and that I'm not worth the effort it takes to keep me alive. Why should I be happy when there are others around me suffering. I just wish I could spend my life making others happy.

I'm sick of the struggle I just want to live a normal life, how do other people do it. I often people watch and am just so self aware of the fact that all of these people are living their lives like I'm supposed to except they're actually going about their daily lives and not sitting in a pit wondering how to get out. 

Anyway, I'm not sure how much longer my job will take this from me, it wouldn't be the first job I've lost because of my condition but the stakes are a lot higher this time as I have a lot more responsibility now. Which really stacks on the pressure and makes the boiling point that much worse.

If anyone actually reads this, thanks for listening to my struggles. I haven't really posted this for any reason except to get it out there. This is a private account so I'm not too worried about anyone seeing it, maybe it will help getting my words out into the public without the fear of it coming back to me like speaking to a real person would.

",4.656007827788649,4.5761093561643875,5.667428571428572,84.14900000000002,69.3082191780822,8.523600782778866,25.589823874755393,8.146662555663855,1.3046459491193736,2200,52,475,27,35,730,242,584,0.161,0.73,0.109,-0.9802,2,2,0,0,0,4,32.0,1,0,3,11,36,31,2,8,25,0,39,12,4,8,6,112,106,44,1,17,26,0,6,7,0,6,7,2,1,2,41,31,1,2,13,1,5,12,14,16,0,1,10,11,54,15,81,87,12,72,0,5,3,0,13,34,1,10,31,323,95,13,0.0,0.0,0.11597853589368963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059504568599979185,0.061545359600015184,0.0,0.0,0.1483366259027239,0.0,0.0,0.04041036885898803,0.0,0.045459209862283766,0.0,0.0,0.08310130782778076,0.0,0.04890090220733082,0.05289997318065162,0.0,0.0,0.11166163897246993,0.09138680110554412,0.04961657151512522,0.03622432881734005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633685495635906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05118852832940162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744524168470349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061672747136133625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03924900236243525,0.0,0.05006729671743264,0.056782194189219176,0.05340647421881788,0.0,0.0,0.06686853926137784,0.18027940897153413,0.16981011663517512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050546037956340266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415125550167377,0.0,0.2364042654580353,0.0,0.0,0.13103037563720646,0.0,0.0,0.05254846141351023,0.12651594079386316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03983066555947295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361463854671774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179383339160037,0.10563759221313512,0.0,0.0,0.032657885317424314,0.0,0.0,0.0629214531712624,0.0,0.0,0.12591882038930965,0.2032210093825554,0.0,0.2098899805660897,0.0,0.049901207418776315,0.0,0.06486833352330587,0.10104034736727167,0.0,0.0,0.11899797705968455,0.0,0.05969941156109297,0.0,0.0,0.05986344475590485,0.0,0.0,0.060001316637526475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736697887443845,0.044062155169606564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058222919116364916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672694758019223,0.12359139228113865,0.051886758991616,0.0,0.0,0.11234980599343804,0.0,0.11382356270905405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059440097339583824,0.0676375401868839,0.19034273258541407,0.061097785870761735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047353247383053854,0.05409739268128022,0.06199220895657456,0.0,0.0,0.0491561604012047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652032119558687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807000996394634,0.12424576846673352,0.0,0.0,0.06743366955526847,0.11201286432391674,0.0,0.08935892978049419,0.0477627734058808,0.0,0.054709650392975526,0.0,0.0,0.11843602796888268,0.03807651024483645,0.0,0.04717603126027788,0.10395186543883174,0.06829916517622332,0.0,0.056782194189219176,0.0,0.04034500641140317,0.06463626576036566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453487712929994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362093194755169,0.0,0.06833468614571267,0.057282631217007926,0.06444281088014807,0.3460911331550855,0.12069594624150018,0.06055814940334778,0.08442623252313061,0.0,0.0,0.03826711824088701
mentalhealth,difficultsection93,2019/01/13,"It shouldn't be this way Hello all I apologize in advance for the length of this post but here goes.... I've had some modicum of what I would consider depression for quite a while now, but it was always fairly minor and would only last for a short period of time whenever it did rear its ugly head. Recently I've gone through some pretty big life changes and I feel it's gotten worse. So a little background,  I got out of the army after 7 years with my sights set on landing my dream job, I had dealt with depression on my own for a time while in the military. It never effected my professional life, I was always able to cope with the stresses of the job/combat with fairly minimal difficulty, hell I was even proud of being a dependable soldier and a leader that my soldiers trusted to do right by them and bring them home. But my personal life was never great, I put a lot of myself into my job and just sorta accepted that I wasn't a happy person. Anyway I got out about 5 months ago and set to work pursuing the aforementioned dream job, a firefighter, I tested with my local department and did really well, earning myself a very good chance of being hired in the next year. I also enrolled in college classes using my GI bill which start at the end of the month. So you would probably think "" hey this guy has a lot going for him, he's doing well"" right?  and while i'm sure that's true technically speaking, I can't fight off this feeling of despair and emptiness. I've even been seeing a wonderful girl for a couple months, but keep asking myself why she's still with me, whenever we have sex I can't keep an erection for more than a couple minutes which really torpedoes my self confidence as I'm a young guy and haven't had these problems until recently. She is always super supportive and compassionate about it but I'm afraid to tell her the reason behind my uselessness in bed, I've been trying to quit watching porn for about 2 months and it's been the hardest thing i've ever tried to quit. I tell her every time that it has nothing to do with how attractive I find her (unfathomably so, she's out of my league in all facets). I just can't shake the notion that I don't deserve her because I can't please her sexually, have a shit personality, and no desirable characteristics to speak of.  All this crap has hammered my sense of self worth into near nonexistence. I often find myself questioning if i'm capable of feeling true happiness anymore, as being a miserable turd has become my comfort zone. 

​

sorry again for the length of the post",6.423978938674374,6.475412215568862,7.022236905499348,75.4868263473054,65.56686626746507,10.263638240759859,31.24791795718907,10.004066432519934,2.974142900406084,2044,70,379,42,29,674,257,501,0.129,0.695,0.17600000000000002,0.9683,4,0,0,0,2,0,46.0,1,1,2,9,21,30,4,4,32,0,37,8,3,5,9,71,59,30,0,7,8,0,3,0,0,4,3,2,2,8,24,26,0,2,11,2,2,7,11,13,2,0,17,8,52,17,66,34,9,64,1,5,3,2,33,23,3,10,29,263,76,10,0.07761625284433925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880212504978922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206968935763831,0.19374882022460532,0.08409717752911365,0.09431224272809842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697446671229231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256071898549077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04731414732589606,0.085721053267287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210770396145485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176181497507634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370152968524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687449622957101,0.0,0.0,0.1025296059747431,0.07020834431204072,0.06539504058289154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773532863666974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418796979254942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441111051586867,0.06510083040765784,0.12415361555850585,0.08557219277032725,0.0,0.15370458625156966,0.0,0.16524788884231248,0.0,0.0,0.07965666770777978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785543004530772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080886182548888,0.13797778355889548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326760537140648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446796430775987,0.0,0.07779187587127584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131973125169579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478102100724236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972487816752968,0.0,0.08254576543714517,0.0,0.0,0.07447488792605868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590306578104243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033145545557288,0.0,0.08519933789979839,0.0,0.0,0.1486698302218538,0.07896363268927799,0.0836834481427168,0.07426827166812193,0.0,0.07802577186144495,0.08694796649959563,0.24766331662008684,0.0,0.0,0.09944591809964937,0.0798024348926375,0.15327337197854507,0.0,0.0,0.13256771168213038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185010450680671,0.0,0.16194135838481385,0.0,0.07967196816919032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688504052302365,0.05493718325188431,0.0,0.06198443978249042,0.0,0.08890915539524588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807800393354663,0.07315239975516774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356800521215561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156478954857592,0.04973336081572348,0.0,0.0,0.13577598362071638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539268163332226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703552197592473,0.0,0.06404153722815834,0.0,0.06160816876864344,0.0,0.0,0.13957266528859907,0.0,0.07003659575616122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417151532200773,0.05650555647578882,0.0,0.07909759259037162,0.1654090773045997,0.0,0.09431224272809842,0.09996464416589088
mentalhealth,FreeVbucks4Life,2019/01/13,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t really feel emotions, or at least I think. I can’t tell if what I feel is actually emotion or not. I don’t understand the concept of it and it’s all so fucking confusing. What’s up with me? Is everyone like this?",-0.9148872180451164,1.0935712456140363,2.4909774436090224,91.70684210526319,90.9298245614035,6.76591478696742,22.177944862155385,7.957251820313856,1.2505208020050125,199,8,48,5,7,72,37,57,0.12,0.8290000000000001,0.051,-0.5317,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,1,0,6,1,0,0,1,14,12,5,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,2,8,1,5,12,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,4,1,34,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.26850642266236463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6190127712122421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629173357843105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782479177986463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543714698997671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121508287252788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442424821769786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17626794755586989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24049297114211535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763048218280567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28644054807881264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30083301026675346,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,e9u1z,2019/01/13,"Am I the only one who finds life TOO easy? I'm not a spoiled kid, I'm 15 years old and have just about no problems in life at the moment. I have lots of friends, great grades and lots of money. This may sound great and all but it really decreases my sense of motivation and happiness.

Am I the only one who feels that way? (And yes I do see the irony of ""suffering from success"")",1.6219710669077756,3.310658430379746,3.150669077757687,92.57493670886076,78.62025316455697,7.0459312839059685,21.4122965641953,7.957251820313856,0.7353891500904157,292,8,68,5,7,96,55,79,0.098,0.6709999999999999,0.231,0.9203,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,5,1,6,2,0,1,1,16,10,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,2,0,2,0,3,5,5,8,9,3,6,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,3,3,44,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079440232340967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002730596946548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16929270909989647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4831644025600871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332588861579848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095439579237847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725784867269293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299311292651388,0.0,0.2969647666122578,0.33330351356372656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966965989763275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037482869761653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17461144692480415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392842868836994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411070466114446
mentalhealth,lame0000,2019/01/13,"I have had the worst day - so much bad news I was meant to be going travelling with my best friend from uni in April and she's told me today she doesn't want to go with me because of my mental health (depression and anxiety - which are under control atm) due to the responsibility of it. We  then spoke on the phone about it and she's now going to think about it and re-discuss next week. I don't think i would go to SEA by myself. I have been looking forward to this for such a long time :(

Second bit of bad news was that when receiving the rota for my job next week I've been given no shifts and don't know if I've lost my job. Still waiting for a reply from my manager on why I have no shifts. I know january is very quiet there (in a restaurant) but why am I the only person with 0 shifts ???

Third thing is that the guy i was talking to who works where i work (slept with last week and was gonna go to his again next week) has not replied for most of today which is very odd

Basically had some of the worst news possible today (mainly the travelling thing) and  could just do with some encouragement and stuff. Starting applying for other jobs anyway but this could really change my life plans and stuff",3.8356775422719696,4.6348056518218685,4.647320790664441,87.62206001428913,71.42914979757084,7.91702786377709,23.436294355799,8.124751697461798,0.9875160276256256,944,22,207,13,17,305,140,247,0.106,0.86,0.034,-0.9296,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,6,12,9,0,0,11,0,25,3,1,1,0,37,45,15,0,5,5,0,0,0,1,2,2,2,0,2,15,15,0,2,5,2,1,9,6,6,0,2,14,3,24,3,33,26,9,37,0,2,1,0,15,7,0,4,23,144,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037100166543541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544227292801384,0.06404391102545784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025452226276204,0.0,0.11469886517166535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111140087779495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178342940907414,0.16776453484388484,0.0,0.0,0.06775533673417368,0.0,0.09048846227904576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116948848168053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985415413447951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040264212973842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167440799892912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127690316317879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547701612886968,0.085638336907795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420734437075592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929752442227663,0.08822436722309156,0.0,0.11468595599065083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587628237065813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723156238189832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33519912896906795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07990325114695414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173478390765223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843993803560965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673044521625889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436236886905195,0.0,0.08390145803642007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24053829412908784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444365734862358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959506746042416,0.1346370637577104,0.0,0.0,0.061261627552991076,0.0,0.2987552338063437,0.100389818423464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337184516601842,0.06196741011161312,0.0,0.3370928120147725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18960153614259811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297060333574836,0.0,0.0,0.07463197111519354,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lieutenantlipstick,2019/01/13,"How do I return to life after attempting suicide? 
TLDR: Advice on getting back to life after getting out of the hospital. What I should expect in the future. Should I tell my employer the real reason I was in the hospital? Thank you. 

I just got out of a mandatory 72-hour hold on Friday. I can't afford to take time off work and am expected to return on Monday ""I have a commission based income"". My husband has gotten more time off work than I have to recover. I overdosed on medication and am pretty much symptom free. My major concern is I feel pretty apathetic about my attempt. I feel like I should be more upset. I've lived with anxiety and ptsd for many years. I finally just snapped. The worst thing is I'm no longer allowed to have fire arms which sucks because my one of favorite hobbies is long range shooting. 

Anyway, back to the original question how am I supposed to return to life? I'm afraid I'm going to end up crumbling because I didn't get the opportunity to process what I went through. Isn't moving on this quickly a form of repression? I have an appointment with a therapist in a few days, and they raised up my antidepressants to the maximum dose. So in the meantime I'm very confused about my emotions. Is it healthy to move on like this? Is it a good sign that I can function so highly or should I be more concerned with how empty I feel about it? My husband doesn't seem phased in the slightest and is going about his business as normal I'm worried he is just repressing to. Any advice ? Or should I just continue to pretend like nothing has happened. Sorry for the rant I just can't really talk to anyone about this.

",3.2232678053496637,5.393634420560751,4.533750134278655,82.2728971962617,75.51090342679127,7.169019228703406,28.514448383284996,8.104835398774808,2.1299054893114184,1303,56,239,22,29,430,170,321,0.126,0.773,0.101,-0.8154,4,0,0,1,0,1,31.0,0,1,1,5,19,14,1,5,18,0,31,7,1,6,0,42,52,13,1,8,7,2,4,3,0,5,6,1,0,0,11,10,0,3,6,1,1,5,6,7,0,1,5,5,33,8,52,40,8,42,0,0,0,0,9,18,1,5,22,175,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24011459112588146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354896119753015,0.0,0.09398750538773082,0.0,0.0,0.08590651532277467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889433953492677,0.0,0.14978853834903147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923448687201533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382008777271327,0.10881742568673332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863650069297285,0.08777115407686238,0.0,0.13458704112447215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19256771791190133,0.0,0.13964825195240838,0.10304907499341236,0.09826230449194703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086446248225912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980825492167047,0.0,0.0,0.12099227664851844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603387926365158,0.18006945855202144,0.0,0.10848756357099072,0.10872716634401418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456067905678432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376844766041155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611613109136076,0.0903161804015848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037663964500438,0.11788741039032336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325306397404078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24998542279093575,0.0,0.0,0.14361667619363927,0.0,0.13763123241646974,0.0,0.0,0.13984149068991855,0.07870721316355173,0.1263204639082602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184706028761103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753162595003615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343888156119378,0.0,0.0,0.1276985030027429,0.09237537255518996,0.09875015286050257,0.10738498862942046,0.11311291103932825,0.0,0.14264984090364044,0.08162267411854202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328121910602332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013723040273478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113892380198827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888697549188612,0.12477021633257633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911776277533421
mentalhealth,wayfarer104,2019/01/13,Does anyone here suffer from dp/dr I’m new to this sub just wanted to interact with people with dp as its not common to find people who are diagnosed  with it and I have personally never met anybody diagnosed with not even my therapist is fully  aware on how to treat it . I wanted know  of anything that is helping you with it currently and how everyone is managing In general.,3.204970645792564,5.6063766986301395,5.288101761252449,75.72397260273974,76.53424657534245,9.102935420743641,26.866927592954998,9.606745405546679,3.057013307240705,301,12,52,9,7,104,53,73,0.047,0.887,0.066,0.1027,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,18,10,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,14,9,0,6,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,40,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751298170958491,0.0,0.20611001880114585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5084301118539387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21918218947346266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542869864750712,0.0,0.0,0.23932849055197605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289189894877554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16788032238174982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764812207842894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19317279728808004,0.2418990907038465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472795393252344,0.2186949603905116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290807285714492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29545957863713584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Other_Exercise,2019/01/13,"I suck at just relaxing during the day - if I sit at home I feel like I'm 'wasting the day'. What should I do? Seeking advice. I'm in my late 20s and single. I always feel like I have to be doing something with my time.  I also like very much being around other people. 

I can't remember the last Saturday I just relaxed. I feel always have to be doing something when the sun is up. It has gotten to the point where I have loads of annual leave to use up at work just because I don't really want to go on holiday because a) I don't want to be by myself  and b) I would feel agitated just to sit at home.

Any advice, reddit?",0.5422267206477756,2.3508834887218057,3.4827067669172926,88.3154308849046,82.53383458646616,6.197570850202429,19.25332562174668,7.321109707123232,0.4672387507229612,476,12,104,7,13,170,76,133,0.096,0.775,0.129,0.7417,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,1,0,6,0,17,0,0,1,0,19,29,5,0,5,5,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,4,17,5,19,22,2,22,0,0,0,0,0,11,1,1,11,74,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191848294384173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306053090061833,0.2717872421240985,0.0,0.0,0.1110618092992524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538760469686604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19911421809306312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065313906414013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33031385929101137,0.23334875829307036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281735706230912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276424484836055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312593046829788,0.1842297660200009,0.17293013229658466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393667088097253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200574879762145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322410582669001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438825579138368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046256634858603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850074052293936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514602803453576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523201248962973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410542754871871,0.0,0.13475441629361587,0.19265832167434865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889741579927154,0.0,0.0,0.11601638887605398,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,squid971,2019/01/13,"Trouble finding happiness Hi, im posting this today ti see if anyone cqn relate with me or even provide me with some helpful advice. My story starts off when I was 13 I was fairly overweight, and weighed around 240lbs for me height. I dealt with a mentally abusive father who degraded me for years, and I know many people have had much worse experiences than myself. I was always told Id never amount to anything, I was fat, useless, you name it. I evevtually told myself Id lose weight go get him off my back. Over the period of about a year and 2 months later I lost over 120lbs. And at this time I found a great love for fitness. I chased this for years and I still do today and im now 22. I got largely invested into bodybuilding through out highschool and I was always known as  the big guy and lifting weights was my escape I suppose. I took upon training fellow students and friends and found fun this but no matter how strong, big, or inshape I was I was just never mentally happy or physically happy. I always wanted more, meanwhile I had my dad telling me I was too muscualr or I worked out too much which is totally contradictory to what he told me before I got into fitness. Fast foward, to this point in my life, Im 22 and out of highdchool for 2 years at this point. I was fortunate to find a job outside of highschool which Im no longer at but Im at a better place. Ive been with my bank for nearly 2 years now. I started as a teller and wanted to evetually become a financial advisor because as  child I always saw the people in banks with offices and nice clothing and wanted to be like them. I started part time, hustled, became full-time, kept on hustling became the lead teller, vault and atm teller. And as of december I made it to my financial adviosr position. Im entirely fortunate to have an awesome set of co-workers who support me, I love my management and my co-workers unlike any other work family ive had. And im fortunate to have moved through posistions to quickly and get to where I wanted to be. I persoanlly feel that I make grest money for a 22 year old, and I drive one of my dream cars already. Where my unhappiness comes into play is it seems im just empty. I get my car and its not enough, im not satusfied and I want more or something to curb that want. I get my job that Ive wanted since I was a kid, and I love it but I dont really feel to happy about it. Its like no matter what I do I feel empty and it seems like theres a void in my that needs to be filled. I always feel petty to talk with myself about these things. And I feel that Ive done good for myself, but I just dont value it like I feel I should. I cant express excitement for getting the job or the car I wanted. I cant show excitement about my sister, having gave birth to a beautiful daughter, and I feel so disgusting because I feel like such an empty emotionless person. Most people would generally describe me as a happy fun uplifting person. And I typically am, I get more enjoyment out of making others happy and wish I could find that happiness that I can distill in others and find it for myself. I just want to somehow come to terms with myself that I need to be thankful for all I have and be satusfied because my ways are mentally destructive. And I wish I could find whats missing in me so I dont feel like such a dead person, who doesnt get excited about birthdays, get togethers, new children to the family. And I have deslt with strong depression and anxiety from a young age and take some medicines but they never seem to fully help it just masks the problem. If theres anyone out there who takes the time to read all of this im thankfuk for you. And if you have any advice or help at all I greatly appreciate it. Thank you😔 ",3.1979649122807,4.701937252631581,4.8297368421052616,82.9964912280702,73.84210526315789,7.645614035087719,26.35087719298245,8.291686609442984,1.7439324561403504,2952,104,586,49,60,997,318,760,0.13,0.693,0.177,0.9932,3,0,1,0,0,0,64.0,0,3,2,8,31,44,2,0,25,0,49,9,1,5,7,137,114,59,1,21,22,4,11,6,2,2,3,0,0,7,41,54,5,2,21,4,5,11,14,10,0,1,29,13,103,34,91,76,16,83,0,5,2,3,39,36,0,17,39,403,144,11,0.0,0.053326729687337766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796194918527801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049667083447005635,0.0,0.18724993621242375,0.0,0.0,0.06121351846949681,0.0,0.034430744646552644,0.0,0.0,0.062940819215311,0.0,0.0370374778177472,0.040066368815258525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0346081203617758,0.0,0.08230877434612338,0.049707435857685264,0.038298212518776166,0.0,0.0,0.039805626938408535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754024555559713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718699249762074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03876504054482792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605847312447073,0.15824596344459005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046504954807507166,0.0,0.029727141806178758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044026137922976674,0.08485845210161262,0.0,0.20481507424352172,0.0643069774197491,0.0,0.0,0.2056809767067643,0.0,0.0,0.09869717496728693,0.034772814486471015,0.0,0.1881172011887323,0.0,0.02557889627709219,0.03775029853728622,0.07199349105792273,0.09924223096208212,0.0,0.04456466976851553,0.0,0.3353805142095277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905030781970276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.486160073615503,0.0,0.13398950415339825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024735038586615413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031790248621812435,0.13193084592405804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035207063499757,0.04913118890439401,0.0,0.12186353919448335,0.042587345950114576,0.0600859389331013,0.04563071352849407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360714374671599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035924693096238816,0.04783603081351271,0.06617163275119513,0.06674523458799454,0.10413807008749347,0.043468688510095485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04722797895497998,0.0,0.030498362254729013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048738921052206265,0.0,0.09360795493443763,0.11789688523775407,0.047023436149035217,0.0,0.08509359254084185,0.0,0.04310490695140547,0.0,0.0,0.04306626213158233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045019850091222606,0.0,0.02883306613040285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03586528612728194,0.12291987822244155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037230810031809815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034649103531597635,0.0,0.0,0.09556998223692152,0.0,0.03594318370138957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107417097814067,0.0,0.0,0.06768033369876213,0.0361754605883161,0.0393386877023676,0.08287403182278172,0.0,0.0,0.02990109630371319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873300361576957,0.0,0.08532401781616829,0.12902027341803998,0.05000517783516669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23892021086889825,0.03572499381018996,0.0,0.1096144347629778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351319947324536,0.0,0.0,0.1310644802912128,0.0,0.04586666122642772,0.03197215770226273,0.0,0.0,0.173900784527876
mentalhealth,TinyAge,2019/01/13,"My Story I'm 27(f), currently receiving treatment for PTSD, anxiety and depression. As part of my treatment I was instructed to write an account of my trauma. I wanted to share it because it might help at least one person understand that they are not alone. I am open to follow up questions and understand that this won't be the easiest thing to read for most people. I have never told my family about what happened, I have never reported it to the police.

TRIGGER WARNING (the following is a semi-detailed description of child rape)

>!I was 6 years old. Wearing a knee length, emerald green velvet dress with a white collar and built in white petticoat.!<

>!Innocently walking up the stairs to suggest to my older brother that we play a game.!<

>!He was in the bath at the time but had told me to come in anyway. !<

>!I entered the bathroom and said:!<

>!""Mark I'm bored, let's play a game"".!<

>!""OK,"" he responded ""Go into my room, get into my bed and take your knickers off. I'll be in in a minute"".!<

​

>!As I made my way across the landing to his bedroom I couldn't help but think that this was an odd request.!<

>!I went into his bedroom, shut the door and did as instructed. I waited for what seemed like forever,!<

>!wondering what adventure he had in mind.!<

​

>!When he got out of the bath he came in just wearing a towel, he saw that I was in the bed and asked!<

>!""Did you take your knickers off?"" with a look that made my skin crawl. !<

>!I managed a small nod in response. He let the towel fall and climbed into the bed positioning himself between my legs,!<

>!his hands holding my wrists above my head.!<

>!With no words of explanation or warning he inserted his penis into my vagina.!<

>!I winced at the pain and looked up at him, in one sickening look he told me everything I needed to know-!<

>!if I made a sound or moved I'd be in trouble.!<

>!I always tried to be good as a child, and this experience was no different. I was still and silent on the outside while the!<

>!Inside was screaming and writhing in physical and emotional agony.!<

​

>!I don't know how long it lasted, it could have been 30 seconds, it could have been an hour. When I think about it I see the!<

>!Events from above, as if I had left my body momentarily, staring down into my own eyes while my heart breaks.!<

>!This was a person that was supposed to look after me, that was supposed to care about me-!<

>!and yet here he was ripping away my innocence.!<

>!After a while he stopped, whether he ejaculated or not I don't know, but it was over. With tears in my eyes I pulled my!<

>!Knickers back on and straightened my dress. I didn't know what had just happened, but I knew it was wrong.!<

>!As I turned to face the bed once more he looked at me with pure disgust and spoke a mere two words:!<

>!""Get out"".!<",10.835025669821915,8.513405164206644,8.666117439435265,74.90302021498478,58.243542435424345,11.640109096743142,43.491416653296966,9.653516015845867,4.126285159634205,2357,108,430,30,23,692,279,542,0.087,0.8590000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9576,4,1,0,0,0,0,238.0,1,3,1,1,12,15,2,1,33,0,42,13,11,5,3,73,84,33,0,6,13,1,2,1,0,2,1,3,10,4,25,30,0,3,10,5,1,13,11,8,0,4,34,18,53,7,72,39,5,76,0,1,13,1,39,43,0,8,20,276,78,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441236075060954,0.0,0.0,0.06781689071608388,0.26492487449835056,0.2971046092450564,0.0,0.0,0.062349448394998376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657459971154451,0.06267065196222762,0.0,0.04968337388798448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053128011092797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321753467832017,0.0830975757642814,0.0,0.0,0.070207478642032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014676924523358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019827540156807,0.0,0.0,0.0851531192725257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167972336795498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324949594048469,0.07972541525425758,0.0768336226024476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516373845622556,0.0,0.04631994137220197,0.06836071408586201,0.06518526540118214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414538189571702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364542590479013,0.0,0.0,0.0965812560829876,0.10925926932571793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026387845883756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916731429843005,0.06643569144370104,0.0,0.0,0.08855307254066383,0.1666843487733844,0.0,0.039818170040043684,0.0,0.0,0.07212744735733204,0.3422092867683642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231359869429586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646163189720088,0.08229463307120209,0.0,0.0,0.08662461893420853,0.0,0.0604333220538246,0.12572002713520558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552351878768975,0.086797863073212,0.11045686540059103,0.0,0.08672476657695387,0.0,0.0,0.08825963173807502,0.0,0.05650380607467169,0.14233026979272512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527245673833384,0.0,0.09130183195830313,0.0,0.08152489435903885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752786340752195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494721010307028,0.07419712316829949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508827213430941,0.06814002246947917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255998284747367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414686438182816,0.10444745598368788,0.0,0.0,0.04752496057731117,0.0,0.0,0.23363836483833064,0.0,0.0553350773773719,0.08865168419512998,0.07961643042153918,0.16969465853057086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480724858327519,0.0646931595829745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555394786249199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883863517111861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911055940637001,0.2971046092450564,0.05248515584000566
mentalhealth,OneStepMoreAbsurd,2019/01/13,"How to find a good therapist Hi friends, I have decided to finally find a therapist after years of hemming and hawing, now that I finally have my own insurance. 

I'm pretty scared to do so, because when I imagine the search, I imagine a series of misadventures in which I get shuffled from doctor to doctor, pawned off to group therapy when I need a one on one and so on, and some endless struggle to find someone to actually hear me and help me find what I need.

How should I begin this search? What kind of answers should I have prepared? 

In general I'm not confident in how I would answer the question ""why are you seeking therapy?"" because while I have a few specific issues I want to discuss, even moreso I just have a jumbled mess in my brain that I don't know how to start explaining and I need someone to help me sort it out. ",9.081532467532467,6.320840218181818,9.407705627705633,69.59727272727274,61.96969696969697,12.822510822510822,42.359307359307365,11.20814326018867,4.667476190476192,656,31,125,14,7,221,92,165,0.065,0.8190000000000001,0.116,0.7913,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,11,6,0,2,8,0,11,3,1,4,0,34,23,14,0,7,2,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,12,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,21,3,23,20,3,18,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,3,10,93,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.12510775067973862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630286288058695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311708018741615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624426495772291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467695102633542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808805008212874,0.4687013128999177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904941176372198,0.0,0.06698083831994364,0.0,0.0,0.10753069371125754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449423269885225,0.0,0.17186369659952655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381074808201748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350382007289854,0.07045708143384351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28518296498021384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17374750279492754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042866193670233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361683400869346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835368739342895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172521734884032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074282752809104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402573592235167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932228793141273,0.2977074049650532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561752124952555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568337423156815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910718174526306,0.0,0.0,0.08255860536990031
mentalhealth,NcBarny,2019/01/13,"Helping my girlfriend So she doesn't know I'm posting this... I came here because I don't know what to do. She is depressed and has serious family issues. She has an alcoholic father who tells her that she can go kill herself, that she is a disappointment, the once she turns 18, she'll be thrown out (the mother also tells her this) . She is supposed to be on medication (anti-depressants). I try comforting her but I can't get through to her. What can I do (I can't fit all the things that are happening in here)? ",2.0112621359223297,4.161017359223301,3.6638932038834966,87.1397233009709,79.29126213592235,7.226796116504855,24.863106796116504,8.238735603445708,1.6038590291262145,400,15,83,8,10,133,65,103,0.113,0.852,0.035,-0.759,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,5,0,17,2,0,0,1,7,25,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,9,3,1,0,2,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,0,20,1,7,21,1,7,0,2,0,0,20,4,0,0,0,64,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233913419926914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503621077250256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342565670239875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25033748329320743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37703763902778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063381721150604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435442927418905,0.0,0.12439309395405825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355259853543647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670893520109485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22845118262897654,0.0,0.0,0.2421554594672551,0.0,0.24057863525703976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22049599508938206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330973316550264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096240855039999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826170623141725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541244632076716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860341518673395,0.2380758039535935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kitz-ash,2019/01/13,"Slightly paranoid, please Help! So I’ve got this slight paranoia that my ex that I broke up with may become a stalker or obsessive. 
So long story short, he seems to have a lot of trust issues and tied in with that he has communication issues especially when confronted with conflicts regarding our relationship. He doesn’t try to make things work but claims that he wants it to work out. He doesn’t put in the work and no matter who is at fault from an argument, I always found myself in the position trying to fix what’s broken. Even when he is the huge reason/problem. He doesn’t give. He shows signs that he doesn’t trust me when I haven’t given him reasons to. I just don’t get trusted for nothing. Anyway, we have been broken up for months now and he constantly reaches out to me trying to be friendly. I finally gave in and responded back to him and allowed him a chance to be friends. He says that he really wants to be friends and I wasn’t ready for it yet but he convinced me to give him a chance. So i gave him a chance and we got into yet another conflict where he shuts down and doesn’t play his part in mending. 
I feel like if he is the one that wanted this friendship he should be putting way more effort into it. 
With history of his behaviors and him not putting in enough effort but requesting we have a cordial relationship, I feel a bit paranoid that he could be a threat to my safety in the future. I’ve decided after our final conflict, that I am seriously done with him and not interested in mending a friendship. I told him I don’t hate him, he should leave me alone moving forward and I don’t want to ever be in contact with him. I’m not well experienced in dumping people so a part of me feels guilty for being the dumper and having to say all those things. But to be honest, that’s how I feel because he doesn’t serve any good purpose in my life, he aggravated me and exhausts me every time I try to make it work with him. It’s really irritating and I can not do it anymore.  He doesn’t talk about his issues that he has since we broke up and doesn’t show signs that he truly wants a friendship with me. He just wastes my time consistently. 
So my concern is, he knows where I live, still has photos of me (he told me this during our attempt to be friends post breakup) I feel uncomfortable about that. But the good thing is, we don’t have any mutual friends and I’ve blocked all means of contact and social media from him. Logically, he shouldn’t be able to contact me but I’m concerned that he could lash out from me leaving him. 
How do I deal with this paranoia because obviously not everyone thinks their exes become psychos at the end of every relationship. 
",5.368912921031878,5.663326836431228,5.9458769854680655,81.47106736510084,67.8104089219331,8.826044834966769,30.057677143179003,8.666027191798058,2.1362384138785626,2130,74,430,31,33,692,228,538,0.146,0.6970000000000001,0.158,0.9247,1,1,0,0,0,0,42.0,8,0,1,7,25,26,4,1,20,0,49,2,0,6,4,92,79,35,0,11,15,1,5,1,5,4,2,2,0,0,30,36,0,4,13,3,0,5,21,10,1,1,11,8,62,16,65,52,8,53,0,2,0,0,80,28,0,5,21,288,92,4,0.07781661246690323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059454225329789,0.0,0.0,0.0647496553313164,0.0,0.0,0.10583592984567627,0.08159750312697936,0.0,0.0,0.07717316961963916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059836171654220775,0.0,0.09487256938428056,0.17188466945790568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495558648792928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409211321867907,0.0,0.12426046611887286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022551053739012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796334119044231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892242145141511,0.08040536237001791,0.0,0.051397138628438456,0.07038958106145472,0.1311277044126827,0.0743571079697918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19673208695428995,0.05559220349485003,0.0,0.17048859062304972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532189904268775,0.3006046087973805,0.0,0.040655968251720284,0.1492975708096236,0.0,0.1305377651061332,0.12447410734523436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682779438802742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05215883503277357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436609780744539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04276597513158182,0.0,0.0,0.16479311354121845,0.0,0.0,0.05496417469600822,0.03801726618240714,0.0,0.06871349447470533,0.0688652532872212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615690117096547,0.0,0.0,0.1038863861551132,0.0,0.0,0.08476510369811015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211247765729416,0.08270674399801671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466713838763771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273055051733338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853561625625862,0.0,0.05394824105928578,0.0,0.0,0.08541927259850819,0.0,0.0,0.07452680424482802,0.0,0.0,0.07445998876775756,0.0,0.2346815658654625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970262910908102,0.16001687590896255,0.0,0.2506377592056201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376578712761185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084132140229807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437070596730746,0.0,0.0,0.07932423673292352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214444723588509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254604546000578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509369873676926,0.0498617431716955,0.0,0.0,0.09075098502814384,0.0,0.0,0.1487142159395836,0.0,0.2113294873937241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22949127095943764,0.06176720491106194,0.0,0.0,0.0699664800072079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226605682669148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GhastlyViking,2019/01/13,"Medicaid? My fianceé has had some bad mental health for some time now. Within the past year though, she's been able to get away from her abusive mother, who has now cut off all insurance. This led to my fianceé's grandparents helping her get a Medicaid card (governmental assistance I believe). I'm not good at reading through all the fancy mumbo jumbo and was wondering if anyone could tell me if Medicaid would cover therapy and getting re-diagnosed for her mental health issues. 

Any answers would be a big help, thank you! ",7.274374999999999,8.19683602083333,7.243749999999999,71.62625,63.79166666666666,10.566666666666666,35.79166666666667,10.504223727775694,4.066554166666668,422,19,68,10,6,135,74,96,0.123,0.805,0.073,-0.7268,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,4,0,9,2,0,1,2,15,15,5,0,5,3,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,9,2,10,8,4,11,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,5,5,46,11,1,0.17610015517639913,0.20864988777355944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975414425158275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231333230318905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545189265085294,0.0,0.1470362738638975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984045709661471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060164450831186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873795062489992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760151884414052,0.0,0.0,0.1477044551466917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743724602760151,0.0,0.0,0.23607244396556706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18380280974748744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549350744385541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681075242637722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614781037935073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391929755270675,0.16212936308441614,0.20138587472491631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301750835148802,0.0,0.10268541664329267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19097310635911827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25019299535406025,0.0,0.0,0.11340272626321972
mentalhealth,slightly-wrong,2019/01/13,"Confessing to wrong things that I didn't do and losing friends because of it. There are bad things about me and I don't want people to know. But I feel guilty about this so I confess to other sins that I didn't do. They have to be sufficiently bad to equal the wrong things I have actually done. I put myself down a lot and tell everyone what a bad person I am. I get very nervous when they think I am a good person, but when I convince them I am bad, they don't want to be my friend anymore.  

 ",2.3576428571428565,3.4483821333333324,3.6887500000000015,91.99312500000002,75.28571428571429,6.773809523809526,22.648809523809533,7.1686216300943375,0.4890238095238093,384,10,90,4,8,126,60,105,0.223,0.66,0.117,-0.8046,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,4,1,6,13,0,1,4,0,15,0,0,0,0,13,21,8,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,9,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,9,0,0,3,1,19,4,10,16,2,4,3,1,0,0,11,1,0,1,2,68,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.1585970551145521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611771644048496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5427929964139224,0.09907129504027352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631541228510088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155295783171596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217550239033196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511266477289335,0.0,0.08491051632636706,0.0,0.0,0.136314906665429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893172930267018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818194312355285,0.0,0.13816954505176313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267160026497325,0.2838141424048292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337849674402616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205052013541491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239151988010487,0.1041368964927364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409684815541326,0.19171819683557076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553824078878571,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rv2156,2019/01/13,"Bad experience with Therapists. [Rant] Finally, I break under the pressure of stress, depression and anxiety and I decide to book a session with a highly recommended therapist in my area. 

1- I sit down, and I pour my heart out to this woman. It took everything I had to open up this much and to feel that vulnerable. I feel like she gave me some decent insight about some of my thinking progress, but nothing to deep or anything that I had not acknowledged myself. 

Then literally, 45 minutes after our session ends. This woman puts out her iPhone with her Square card reader and asks how I will be paying. What the absolute fuck?. First, I'm a fierce proponent of Capitalism and paying people for their time and effort. But, Jesus fucking Christ, Lady. Is there a more tactful way to do this? I felt dirty, I felt how one would feel after visiting a prostitute and realizing they have no love or understanding for you, they just want your money.  Send me a bill, or refer me to your receptionist, wait 5 more minutes before bringing the subject of payment up. My god. This left a sour taste, and I decided I was not going back.

2- I make another appointment with a therapist who is also a Psychiatrist. Again, I spend a grueling hour holding back tears as I tell her what the fuck is wrong with me. Every single session is a constant drain of my energy and emotional well begin, never mind the strength it takes to open up your darkest and most vulnerable thoughts to a complete new stranger which you have never seen in your life. 

After our session is done, she goes: ""Okay, for our next session think of three things you want to change"". WOW, /r/wowthanksimcured level of insight here. THREE THINGS? I've thought about a thousand things I want fixed, tell me something more. I just finished giving you an hour of my most vulnerable mental content and you ONLY have that to say? I left and I'm not planning to go back.

Anyone here has more positive experiences?",5.1392582417582435,6.977231881868137,5.623956043956047,77.89604395604398,69.46703296703296,8.606593406593408,30.30769230769231,9.140100540675403,2.7388472527472527,1551,63,273,31,28,498,207,364,0.111,0.784,0.106,0.2614,0,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,3,9,3,5,15,14,3,2,19,1,17,7,1,3,2,65,48,23,0,4,10,0,5,1,0,2,1,1,0,2,17,22,1,2,17,1,5,7,6,8,1,5,11,10,50,6,43,34,10,48,2,1,2,4,32,17,3,7,22,199,67,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959430639470391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436614720109758,0.07614037019070853,0.0,0.0,0.06959386624303042,0.0,0.0819049166935686,0.0,0.09304734982438634,0.0,0.0,0.2295978599650219,0.08310360286067693,0.0,0.0,0.08469291352123029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528980915013143,0.0,0.10435557535629318,0.10755684341191818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857252600209606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185400374334128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195813685462877,0.08815426093934152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385852983503338,0.0,0.08945137255839312,0.1947193692111024,0.0,0.0,0.15097645755874955,0.07110443176365451,0.19112930028641925,0.10903052583228938,0.0,0.08466038132489458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27604234190366883,0.0,0.09547848680881738,0.1131306715321091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794382758696875,0.0,0.1051591756028889,0.0,0.0,0.1960344983352948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21627981957613224,0.0,0.07030116029633457,0.04862545355587638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982993815816205,0.0,0.06643721593283497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003030840361522,0.0,0.10049718141937083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316618716092843,0.0,0.15352773204691836,0.0961269373880548,0.10585155192146883,0.0,0.0,0.09550196093527696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744427447397375,0.07569724148886263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900174456161874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005539348585224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791504510727436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766232504337131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401156714428905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748343626510906,0.0,0.17398765407037695,0.0,0.0,0.346686880854273,0.1983704301237673,0.1275499329792577,0.0,0.15803180456359747,0.05803689021803087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058177192816013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361450223303034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761165637314737,0.07900248111656755,0.0,0.0,0.08948964945914548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070343520699131,0.1088207058083038,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,roccat-mid-size,2019/01/13,"Do I have social anxiety or paranoia? Not sure exactly... Hi all,

​

I am wondering what exactly the issue here is. Hopefully y'all can provide some insight.

​

I am deciding to make this post after eating dinner with my family. Throughout the whole meal, I was too afraid to talk / add to the conversation. My family were chit chatting with one another, but when someone started to tell a story, I got very uneasy that somehow they might start to get nervous (like I would). While this was happening, I also thought to myself, wow, I would never be tell a story without shitting myself. 

​

Towards the end of the meal, someone asked me a question. I immediately begin to panic, but luckily it could be answered with just a one word reply. I answered awkwardly; mumbling and clenching my toes.

​

This is just one example of many awkward feelings and interactions I have. In work, whenever we have a meeting, I feeling like running out of the room before its my turn to speak. When it is my turn to speak, on a good day I can get by ok, but as soon as someone has a question, I begin to get very nervous and cannot articulate myself very well. Which leads to a poor meeting, as I cannot communicate properly, we cannot properly sort out any issues at hand.

​

On the train to and from work, I cannot sit down and relax without thinking people are looking at me. I am always dreading that I bump into someone that I know, because I would be way too awkward and might even have a panic attack if someone started talking to me with so many other people in close proximity. I can only put my head down and look at my phone as I travel.

​

When I go out to restaurants, I get very nervous when the waiter comes to take my order. When I go to the bar, I can barely order a drink.

​

I haven't seen my friends in over a year because I am too afraid I will panic..

​

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I am wondering there is any medication that I can take that would help me. I do everything else I can: healthy diet, exercise daily, lots of sleep, meditate etc",6.477988721804511,6.882047979949879,7.070692355889728,73.98017387218049,65.44110275689222,9.356766917293234,36.173872180451134,9.188382445141503,3.4056774436090222,1660,78,286,27,24,547,197,399,0.116,0.7759999999999999,0.108,-0.1316,0,0,1,0,0,0,93.0,2,1,1,3,18,24,2,12,20,1,42,14,5,2,5,63,73,24,0,7,10,0,3,2,1,7,2,2,1,0,14,20,7,0,13,6,1,7,9,14,1,3,6,8,53,10,49,56,5,47,0,0,3,0,23,18,1,13,19,219,67,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0336677962517443,0.035031031897885666,0.4561593054031514,0.5115677885737508,0.05725963814626071,0.04414609962327543,0.03220680707236781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03935833299579655,0.04789545577265016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132821151447412,0.0,0.03582446892946492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036265897740367134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03361386504671513,0.0,0.0,0.02715137317069576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041242513146579285,0.0,0.04307937514597044,0.035169609000258215,0.0,0.03728859299697768,0.0,0.046953244297170606,0.027807017559243502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03783726150964035,0.0,0.07937730721052076,0.0,0.042574608177721934,0.030076642785771726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03252678206717611,0.0,0.08798320320797824,0.0,0.04785342785799431,0.0353119455996546,0.03367165742087589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037229379125193286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043207312397293286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02821911258739824,0.0,0.0,0.04181534758720823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788407651510591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02313736237378934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041136406286388164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070772082856425,0.0,0.0,0.035792383810025835,0.0,0.0,0.02810244539939431,0.08536670364077281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04241187697237984,0.0,0.08932406522777236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032470541145968035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558527088895733,0.032019366946021775,0.0,0.14818778022658827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058374443654177335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040320691181893485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042322683045503885,0.09432450688595673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04321561166256527,0.0,0.0,0.04213095655001288,0.04291621095197549,0.17835830558828772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939696226181773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03967927205326112,0.0,0.06330875130369139,0.06767765797006058,0.07359547627077745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026976333798136017,0.0,0.033423135638359545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915866222720928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894945822091812,0.0,0.033417458585855014,0.0,0.0,0.03785345235235325,0.0,0.0,0.047003762849499066,0.0,0.08116685959974952,0.09131250558492422,0.061299406593024214,0.0,0.0,0.11962809696678395,0.0,0.5115677885737508,0.02711137518961309
mentalhealth,Nick_Make,2019/01/13,"Something is going on with my psyche. What can it be? First of all I'd like to mention that I'm not from an English-speaking country so my message may contain some mistakes. 
Perhaps I will not torment and go straight to the point. Back in April, I assume that due to stress, I started having problems with memory, attention, concentration .. I sometimes perceived dreams as real memories, there were false memories, it was difficult to memorize information. The details were also difficult to remember.
Now I seem to be divided into two parts. One is me, who is a funny, slightly naive and kind friend, who is still experiencing certain problems with concentration. The other part is me, which is impartial, with a narrow spectrum of emotions, but with a good concentration and observation of people. In this state, I am collected, self-confident and can stand up for myself, but at the same time, due to these qualities and directness, I can seem hostile to others. I become, in the literal sense of the word, a different person with different world views and interests. I noticed that I was becoming so because of emotional stress. Like some kind of defense mechanism ...
I don’t know if the fact that sometimes I have memory gaps will be useful. Not for long .. for example, I go home from school and half the way I don’t remember how I walked. As if working automatically. There were also strange feelings of alienation from reality, in which I could not understand who I was and what I was doing in this world ... And there was a feeling that my body was just a vessel .. in general, something like that. What is it similar to?",6.188265306122446,7.82516660204082,6.887687074829934,70.61683673469389,66.65306122448979,10.361904761904762,36.10884353741497,10.504223727775694,4.3011741496598646,1287,65,210,35,21,424,162,294,0.078,0.779,0.14300000000000002,0.9632,2,0,2,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,0,2,12,18,2,2,15,0,32,1,1,2,3,56,44,20,0,6,9,0,2,3,1,3,0,0,1,1,22,16,0,2,13,1,0,4,6,9,0,4,9,4,24,9,40,28,6,32,0,0,1,0,8,15,0,8,13,172,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843322716943731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862085958268809,0.0,0.07025590388903241,0.25457121896887475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280178139424349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201849830263348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24082540678296005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592835924562618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654867730599874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803239150512953,0.0,0.0,0.08904259109385182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964992971206844,0.0966670212339072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560609077083978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400322394357161,0.06333890307946037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891736461039744,0.0,0.0,0.10199345601453746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121396016175474,0.0,0.0,0.07809702031270932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496110758762781,0.0,0.0799004910152993,0.10063267621078424,0.0,0.0,0.10894939160402116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205591710394965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118080245521624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26111369856030137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664010520622425,0.0,0.2098402562558425,0.12023186671817893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774516100060267,0.22797225513795785,0.0,0.0815752092052617,0.0,0.09203955032685757,0.0,0.2640391269562056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672037504976512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258342270181937,0.1199802940827375,0.0,0.09953980902692923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148083244480468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839040576514105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Missflowerpower7,2019/01/13,"I’m just sick and tired of everything... I just don’t understand what I did to my family and friends to make them dislike me so much. The real reason why I’m graduating early from high school is just to get away from them. I’m just sick and tired of get criticized by my family on a daily basis. Most of the time I don’t even deserve this. For example, this morning my mom told me she was going to braid my hair, and told me to take the tangles out. I wasn’t able to take out all the tangles because I didn’t have a mirror, and she told me I didn’t need one. Then, she started to tell me that I’m so dumb I can’t even take the tangles out of my hair. Then, she started to tell me that I’m going to struggle all my life and she wasn’t going to help me if I need her and completely abandon me. My mom told me I was going to be nothing in life. She began to dig the comb into my scalp, and it hurt. I asked her why she was doing that, and she hit me on the head and called me fat sh*t. Moving on to my Dad. He’s just completely abusive. When time he hit me so much in 6th grade that I had bruises and marks all over my arms. He even hit my head and I felt dizzy and got a headache. He constantly physically and emotionally abuses myself and my little brother and sister. He hits us for stupid things. When time he got mad because I was using his phone and I didn’t put it on charge. He hit me enough to make me cry. My mom doesn’t even do anything when he hits us. I’m usually the one who tries to protect my brother and sister. My dad even cusses at us and tells us we are useless and garbage. To be honest, I’m so used to the verbal abuse and name calling from him, it only sometimes affects me. Moving on to my brother and sister. My mom and dad started to telling my brother and sister to call me names. My sister is three years younger than me, and my brother is six years younger than me. They just completely hate me for no reason when I love them whole heartedly. They verbally and physically abuse me just like my parents. I just don’t know what I did to deserve all this. I just want to leave home and get away from the negativity. They’ve even told me to kill myself because there is no use of caring for someone as useless as me. Ive actually considered it, but I don’t want to let them win. I know that God has too much planned for me and I want to help people someday.

I wrote the rest in a comment...",2.190937500000004,3.385894968750001,3.806296875000001,90.57151562500002,75.875,6.682500000000001,24.3234375,7.1686216300943375,0.7948670312499999,1872,59,426,20,40,625,200,512,0.106,0.836,0.058,-0.9452,1,0,0,0,6,1,51.0,5,0,6,2,25,16,5,1,15,0,31,15,8,8,4,71,84,42,1,6,11,18,3,1,1,0,7,0,1,0,16,33,1,2,6,0,0,7,14,10,0,4,22,3,92,6,60,53,11,43,0,4,0,1,72,18,1,2,19,288,108,3,0.06250010573020394,0.2962096207894847,0.060991087444038514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143226166182304,0.0,0.05842916196364074,0.0,0.11744181342239415,0.0,0.0,0.11429845304437244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19145878764383234,0.0,0.0637230232056355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659051523153845,0.06754041072501185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865343136575859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070304206662231,0.0,0.06457931655067672,0.0,0.2476843822935837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617106500022544,0.0,0.11783907463094324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000990282640846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04828742664893993,0.0,0.09796117694189264,0.0,0.14208100160790665,0.0,0.0999740880915206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061705914971720836,0.12828627952025787,0.0,0.0,0.074062926216568,0.08378500685053901,0.06603479319787985,0.0626927019945297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669076558421164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914710682941409,0.0,0.06869684718069571,0.0,0.0,0.06617858766543103,0.0,0.0639105926208512,0.08829134604991942,0.0305343946574948,0.06264152530857768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640878558855503,0.0,0.08343861179237168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927974738097576,0.0,0.13285544257469434,0.1378343071981029,0.09268607292596416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599705370853037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470337831647196,0.04753414677044779,0.0,0.0,0.06939897102454767,0.0,0.0,0.0433297038161095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282986890389085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711388033354603,0.0,0.12852103613711938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632534437203623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295613676469268,0.0,0.06181420269073711,0.0,0.13271368956635135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533868073703299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097690382495226,0.0,0.21851138884747914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04152229308473705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933294279145453,0.1436693547997968,0.0,0.2986076470419968,0.0,0.04243346917611969,0.0,0.0,0.0650648142497558,0.3007197270335526,0.16194007276712816,0.06883503651339147,0.0,0.11059254504472933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279324830386672,0.06977913604032096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804960378875861
mentalhealth,ColdCricket,2019/01/13,Elaborate Life Scenarios​ Hey guys for the past two years or so I find myself creating elaborate alternative realties in my mind whenever I'm just sitting around. I get so wrapped up in them and just wish that they would come true. They're honestly harmful because I change everything about me and my life in them to the point that I've convinced myself that everything about the way I am now is wrong. Do other people do this too?,5.449552845528455,7.059492573170735,5.713170731707318,78.4438211382114,68.39024390243902,10.34471544715447,31.959349593495933,10.504223727775694,3.5901886178861786,349,15,64,10,6,111,59,82,0.036000000000000004,0.805,0.159,0.8612,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,3,0,9,5,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,0,1,12,9,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,12,3,9,8,0,12,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,3,44,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060427089817518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109192106926025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448471406810537,0.19937671820288694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160310096049004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154432947033144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209249143518296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291753796387269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32696494036899776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23370208110029006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209485799127708,0.16046073209066794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21879839429605816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22609646321882984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371703552543064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26616013211950346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16441794402035306,0.25305809630697823,0.0,0.1490484821296888
mentalhealth,chelseythecat,2019/01/13,"1 month since my mom passed Hey everyone. I’m not sure how to do this, and I’m not sure why I came here to do this..maybe it’s because no one knows me? And I don’t know if this is the right platform to do this? If I’m on the wrong tag please correct me I just need help. I don’t know how to get this under control but I need to say this out loud somewhere and this is the social media platform I’m choosing. I’m depressed. Openly. Sadly. And miserably. On December 11th 2018 I suddenly and quite frankly out of no where lost my mom. After a month of no work, staying social, and trying to focus on myself I can say nothing is working. I don’t know how I let this get so out of hand. And I can feel my depression setting in. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to do anything. I can’t stop crying and I can’t stop thinking about death. It’s making me sick. I can’t find closure and I know it just happen but I am normally a strong person. This has broken me. I wake up at night in a panic. I look in the mirror and sob. I hate life right now and I know I’m mentally unstable. I just couldn’t get myself to say it out loud until today. I don’t know why today is different, but it is and it sucks. If anyone on here has any type of advice on what I should do, please...please reach out, I’m at a lost and I feel like time is frozen in place, I’m scared. And I’m tired of feeling like this. Thank you. And if this doesn’t make sense just push it under the rug. I just need something, anything to change where I am right now. ",-1.178334224598931,0.8286766264705889,1.3059893048128366,99.46240641711228,93.02941176470587,4.149732620320856,15.962566844919785,5.712786715810287,-0.7821764705882353,1183,28,289,9,44,400,145,340,0.238,0.68,0.08199999999999999,-0.996,1,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,8,17,18,2,3,9,0,31,6,2,6,3,69,70,27,1,13,14,2,4,2,0,1,3,5,1,1,18,22,1,3,13,0,0,3,17,12,0,1,3,10,38,6,38,64,0,46,0,7,1,0,11,28,2,4,15,177,56,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803683767103421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126563404615752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299440537031266,0.0,0.14827604220172375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05491923324518772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304122141709326,0.0,0.0,0.09530536636381333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104581337762247,0.0,0.0,0.09896180682676928,0.0,0.0,0.1551921763155862,0.0,0.0,0.09412694132702837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218658441006984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608674525277946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665963226726371,0.12872345337169602,0.0,0.0,0.08234243522827159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412080194127297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079668038118704,0.0,0.0,0.08894717592435104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603867534220441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465853628538649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212515085274413,0.06363462800364443,0.0880287789132839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756545708070211,0.0,0.19669207161612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027418903651245,0.0,0.09050950052536742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907915234023758,0.0,0.0,0.21102927024984175,0.14382111373332934,0.0,0.0,0.2004061791659967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454521783146426,0.08827100955523348,0.08644568214974102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06104865551345363,0.0,0.0,0.10570352412734622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866483969285712,0.09412694132702837,0.19778787423666092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958239076503512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308141694439962,0.0,0.214934269467412,0.0901977860920568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452501472489266,0.0,0.0,0.18367485090390015,0.0,0.06935720573069468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960260608342277,0.0,0.1506418543865709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169821245088799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294458858976113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772730139027332,0.0,0.0,0.05253335654696588,0.10354747500439793,0.17079332087333166,0.0,0.0,0.061166538890454564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941574749395418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258799346158134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19676409770431405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985014344573555,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrowawayMntlHlth,2019/01/13,"I think i might have schizophrenia but i'm not sure about 1 thing so firstly I AM GOING TO SEE A DOCTOR TOMORROW MORNING, and no i am not looking for any sort of diagnosis( and sorry for long post), i just wanted to ask about 1 thing. so i'm fairly sure at this point i have schizophrenia or some other serious mental illness. for the past 8 months I've been so depressed I've barely gotten out of bed or done anything. so i went to my doctor and got prescribed Prozac (i'm on 40mg now) but over the past couple months I've started getting much, much weirder problems. audio hallucinations, which to some degree I've had for a few years (i'm 18) but only the occasional sound of whispering or a weird noise or voice when i wasn't listening to something so id always be listening to music or something when not doing something, but its got much worse with sounds of consistent voices or a ticking like a metronome (it changes bpm) paranoid delusions of being in danger of those around me or stuff like being watched or that reality itself is a lie, sometimes sudden mood swings from manic to so low i can barely move (sometimes they last 10 minutes then swing back or days) or rarely but in the worst occasions visual hallucinations or voices i can fully talk too often embodied but these visual hallucinations. 

but the problem is i have been told schizophrenia is constant with the sufferer always believing in the delusions and hallucinations whereas i slip into periods from a few hours to a few days to sometimes a week or more where i go through this. the audio hallucinations are fairly constant if i don't keep myself focused on something but the more severe stuff comes to me in bouts where i will fall into one of these periods and lock myself away from people for a few days until it starts to go away and i don't believe people are trying to poison my food with plutonium (until yesterday i legitimately was sure of this from friday so i didn't eat) so is it likely something else or have i got a misconception.

​

any help is appreciated, again sorry for the long post <3",6.6971083333333326,7.134033027500003,7.1350000000000025,73.59333333333333,64.975,9.166666666666668,32.41666666666667,8.959647251330699,2.7603666666666675,1681,63,294,25,24,550,204,400,0.171,0.7929999999999999,0.035,-0.9949,0,0,5,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,1,21,17,2,0,21,0,30,7,0,0,3,53,55,41,0,4,26,0,0,3,0,2,5,10,1,0,18,14,2,1,1,0,0,7,8,10,0,2,13,13,26,6,52,37,12,58,0,3,3,0,7,18,0,19,34,212,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415125892497877,0.09213585915218322,0.10332736207840452,0.1156540246545282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997691816734558,0.07569956641336352,0.07949665352459524,0.0,0.15978718224214772,0.0653870011991258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916116330294481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995621577053292,0.07325049838193788,0.0,0.18378619339624586,0.0,0.0,0.09409009230296926,0.0,0.16452246383745311,0.0,0.07324089624319494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17407474358417308,0.0,0.0870207744869603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701247993407203,0.07103619509463499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233109824350276,0.1028251864972618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04442750549264688,0.0,0.14498279340733788,0.0,0.20403181841101725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056997460140690626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374277517006944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558340247335768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931522969814058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463205586521807,0.0,0.0,0.15050736953195454,0.0714083493427237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569571872943926,0.09020915933582534,0.0,0.0,0.1357489471260879,0.09037921075942763,0.1875324888272188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057622212026397765,0.06467328076259281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235189084537288,0.11790572843526564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803859727044195,0.0,0.16288088304459036,0.0,0.0,0.16273485553118014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776223275048858,0.0,0.0,0.09606583806941106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32732216463733954,0.2523066610434628,0.1903804168288455,0.12037703825579603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19469045886199368,0.0,0.0,0.2404346756400841,0.0,0.0,0.06834826220379513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129875300610373,0.0544872736745045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125500301190047,0.0,0.057733479029525116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050156103221738,0.0,0.06821029733317158,0.0,0.0,0.07882870091188772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665837385161124,0.0,0.0,0.10332736207840452,0.05476003265316549
mentalhealth,rajamohsin-haq,2019/01/13,"Having intrusive thoughts and images, HELP! Hi,

Long story short, the suffering started two years ago in January 2017 about these days. And I remember how it struck me and I was in shock that I'd be facing all these weird and stupid thoughts I never thought would even occur. 

I did used to have a slightly OCD manner before that but it got WORST after that event. Months went by, I learnt tricks to prevent all these thoughts from entering. Like for example, I wouldn't do something until I have a positive thought or image in my mind beforehand. It was like an obligatory act. Otherwise, I thought I'm stupid or dumb!

I know this is already sounding weird and dumb, but it's the reality. Time went on, and I learnt to block these stupid thoughts, like mainly acting NATURAL and that really helped me. And what also helped me alot was, that I thought to myself, why won't I think about the days I wasn't like this at all? I was fine then!? Nothing ate me! So that encouraged me to throw these thoughts and images out the window. 2017 had been a year of trials and tribulations for me. And for 2018, it slightly got better as I mentioned. And now for the pasted few months, thanks God, I am coping very well. 

However, whenever I do fear something the most, and that appears for too long, I do fight it for a while, few hours, the I'm good again. Mostly anxiety and OCD when you are imprisoned by your brain to think like so and so. You feel it cringed and compressed. Until you rationalise it. That's another worst part.

There are times when I'm all clean and natural, I do something, it goes fine, but slowly if I do fear a thought or an image, it would just come in mind making me do something several times until done without such a thought or Image (naturally) (and also I hope you know what I mean by 'something')

Please help me out!

Thanks all in advanced",3.488957678138199,5.524034657381615,3.8818833677778777,87.85780393566358,74.29247910863509,7.3063527720370205,26.065324827028483,8.155646560271837,1.6011445952017251,1458,52,289,24,31,455,177,359,0.154,0.66,0.18600000000000005,0.9142,1,0,5,0,1,0,51.0,0,5,0,2,18,29,7,2,16,0,27,3,2,3,6,70,60,40,0,5,10,0,1,5,0,4,0,1,2,0,27,21,1,2,18,0,0,9,5,15,1,1,25,2,37,14,34,30,14,46,0,1,0,0,13,10,2,10,32,200,64,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825316059923157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496806161656227,0.12314888451499305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073802757453215,0.058902464763285436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551874310420694,0.0,0.0,0.06809755531543088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595407340803739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632606451676552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931334067783723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879462434270934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05085576686552875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732859761332334,0.03893197721158927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458139817253827,0.12316300776404455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064377609485532,0.0,0.0,0.07647535604152599,0.0758264971766063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846310327425635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18808413050133135,0.0,0.0,0.13627977586957404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139606966255784,0.0,0.0,0.08387226345744977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548996340672794,0.0,0.12291648007937693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059384803386366265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738806611358093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338020595687498,0.07350231209678905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451954192424976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04932622512808702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722254766815972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698465013065408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29638011329704195,0.0,0.0,0.054498845619184284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177691447987756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986730877989212,0.0,0.6723968542652156,0.13469264225308664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521484324566173,0.0,0.0,0.06650065305344989,0.0,0.06353055697468676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922951531156761,0.14275390933705645,0.06947778160208695,0.0,0.0,0.07422232319984669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939286453406948,0.0,0.0,0.09916703746522564
mentalhealth,cigkiddy,2019/01/13,"How do I get rid of the feeling that my friends all hate me? It's weird because I just assume they do.

I don't want to literally ask because that would be bad. Or maybe if they were really my friends they would reassure me that it's all good.

I know they like me. I just can't get past the fact that I think they don't.

Maybe I should just assume everyone likes me (I'm a likeable guy) and move on from there. It's hard though. I don't know. ",0.02639175257731808,1.8799820000000047,1.81774226804124,99.30702577319592,84.67010309278348,5.5294845360824745,18.978350515463926,6.742157984588678,-0.1847063917525773,342,9,87,4,10,112,56,97,0.115,0.6709999999999999,0.213,0.8683,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,5,0,6,9,1,0,3,0,11,0,0,1,3,20,21,5,0,5,5,0,2,2,2,3,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,2,19,6,4,16,2,3,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,4,3,55,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926003013960196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201756942320365,0.2511749928245732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968603378403178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416958421133374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31834011009815016,0.0,0.21527323651453467,0.0,0.0,0.17279927394535935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039915676960307,0.0,0.0,0.1845528901659529,0.20340147662679334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226445716955374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201301316545943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4139482982859543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21896598737725004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966688012807876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198128454616226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320088942952823,0.20241298607601224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151556284527006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927005004721053,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nutty_Em,2019/01/13,"I'm obsessed with this boy in my grade to the point where i want to kidnap him I'm in the 6th grade and I've already been diagnosed with depression. But I have anxiety too. (not diagnosed) 

lately, I've been really obsessed with this boy where I have fantasies of him being mine and urges to kidnap him, make his friend a mindless slave or kill his friend.

I don't how this escalated to an obsession but he is just so friendly to me.

I mean whenever I have a class with him, I always daydream about him and me together 90% of the class time.

I wish he liked or noticed me though.

I just want him to love me but how?


",1.6632414698162776,3.6266063937007855,3.3107283464566954,90.17638123359579,79.55118110236221,7.067979002624672,23.181758530183732,8.07648339933343,1.1962656167979009,480,16,105,9,12,159,69,127,0.096,0.7140000000000001,0.19,0.9487,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,10,10,1,3,6,0,8,3,0,3,0,22,16,12,1,3,8,0,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,23,5,15,13,0,7,0,1,0,1,16,5,0,2,3,73,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228026755766003,0.0,0.16799773167349527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445364408264098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738969585648936,0.4098503488237449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679644283832974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22337344361599595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277530214900008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863858657457404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222345467318904,0.0,0.1347704256996622,0.0,0.0,0.2199292810669792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298655250582441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086162078304625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934289338300392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983666196869607,0.0,0.11773004469175713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23817277644352944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321760832276517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,El_Clinico_Magnifico,2019/01/13,"I have been freaking out about time passing and I don't feel like I am living in the present. Please forgive me if I am not being descriptive but I myself don't know how to explain what I am going through. For the past few months I (23 M, in U.S.) have had some issues with anxiety. For the past month I have felt that time has just moved way to fast and I am not able to shake thus off. My thoughts are always on this amd I am just stuck not being able to enjoy the now. I do see a mental health counselor but haven't had much do discuss these thoughts. I am improving with my anxiety issues but I don't know what to do. These thoughts spin in my head so fast that I always feel like I have a headache. I'm not sure if anyone else has similar thoughts but I need some advice since it has impacted my ability to enjoy life.",2.281750619322871,3.692849895953757,3.3483608587943863,93.06591040462429,76.05202312138728,6.561354252683734,23.917836498761353,7.1686216300943375,0.7138310487200665,644,20,146,7,14,207,93,173,0.08800000000000001,0.794,0.118,0.7943,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,1,6,0,26,3,1,2,1,34,41,10,0,3,12,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,11,0,0,4,8,2,0,0,9,4,22,6,18,30,4,21,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,4,12,101,30,0,0.2786695286674396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615631910694925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318753716018085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21318142667854936,0.0,0.0,0.09742610691677343,0.1427649318805547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639631655437165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409036867767304,0.1990815669608235,0.13378322436927126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918715754175709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299766628688002,0.14810633889942285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908585873122951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314948511784812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841626466743167,0.13614385556531275,0.0,0.12303514963789375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041667056206872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224313591199668,0.14809080373004266,0.1024270838487457,0.103314962249065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26602159722749585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529477297939818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110317674412232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525915690257865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313213664253277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44246495614706827,0.16249444316697026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059745042867056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CertainAsk6,2019/01/13,"fuck this bullshit honestly i don't even know what bullshit i'm talking about but something in my head and i don't know what and i'm trying to figure it out is preventing me from being happy. it's bullshit, it's frustrating. what the hell is it, I've never been abused, i'm in a good relationship, never bullied, anything. i don't understand why i get suicidal thoughts, i don't understand why i find the idea of harming myself pleasant. i don't even know when i experience something whether it's enjoyable or not. i watch a movie and in my head i just don't know whether i liked it or not, i get the same enjoyment out of starting at a wall for 10 hours as i do doing anything else. i don't know what i feel but i don't feel happiness, it's like theres some turbulent feelings but i don't know what they are or why they exist. literally though, i get my shit taken, i don't care, when people die i don't miss them. if i mess up really bad i can accept full responsibility but i won't feel sorry about what i did, and i will work to fix my mistake materially (i want to but i don't understand how to fix a mistake emotionally). i don't know why but i can't keep on like this i can't focus in school, i can't understand when people speak, my mind just wanders from one thing to the other and like i said it's just as interesting for me to stare at a wall as it is to do something or talk to someone so i think my brain just naturally doesn't put the effort into something it deems as unimportant. if i try hard enough i can understand and focus, but it's just mentally straining and not rewarding. if i the choice i'd rather stare at a wall all day than do stuff. maybe i am depressed, but if i am i've been depressed my entire life because I've felt like this my entire life as long as i can remember. when i think about suicide, i usually think that i want to feel the pain, i want to feel some kind of strong feeling, even if it's a negative one, control i guess. i can have normal interactions with people and in fact i find a lot of the time people want to be my friend, but i don't care about that stuff, i don't care about anything. I've searched, I've tried sports, gone to various events, consumed as much information, gone on a bunch of vacations, even tried cannabis, none of it made me feel any different than i always do, cannabis surprised me since i assumed it would make me feel happy or elated, it just made me feel disconnected but i was still bored, nothing was funny or interesting, i've tried it a couple times and it's the same thing, sometimes i take too much and i do feel bad, but more like a weight on my heart and my brain is slowed, not a paranoid feeling. what is this, how do i go back to feeling normal emotions. i've tried everything, i watch inspirational videos, try to have an active social life, do school events, etc, but it's all so uninteresting, i can't even do any of it well because i can't focus on it enough, i just stare off into space thinking about nothing because it has the same level interest but i use less energy. i'm thinking about dying, there's no point, even though i don't really feel sad i don't think i'll ever really feel fulfilled or happy per say",3.6891781627982994,4.487149001503763,5.077517162471398,84.40794622425629,71.76691729323309,8.308924485125859,27.38885256619811,8.587818076936951,1.7714687806472709,2526,86,543,42,46,847,251,665,0.174,0.6509999999999999,0.174,-0.8353,2,0,4,0,1,2,65.0,0,0,3,5,38,46,4,1,23,0,57,12,6,7,6,131,121,55,4,15,39,0,18,6,1,3,4,3,0,0,39,16,1,3,44,2,0,4,33,17,1,2,13,26,82,29,60,103,19,48,1,4,5,1,13,25,3,17,25,359,121,3,0.0,0.06185897721363597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043441964678248304,0.0,0.0,0.07100764787888733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288903619148383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014540065400243,0.0871844563309406,0.09547813313532552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165647374952451,0.0,0.0,0.1596912766015601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058556690448582624,0.0,0.057768124914792274,0.0,0.0336704039345896,0.0,0.08993485157660333,0.0,0.10836913485367036,0.05454716016348411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361381407178117,0.11745590994243865,0.0,0.1078914441828909,0.058226694155988,0.2069008092260615,0.047225914617486264,0.0,0.0,0.04692196857959666,0.05107029586381091,0.0,0.0,0.3959756231356878,0.0,0.0501287054976452,0.0,0.09543592810569973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04033644574839456,0.04826626177996682,0.08183094385818299,0.0,0.02967150566389057,0.043790325615643874,0.0,0.0,0.0575139596589517,0.0,0.0,0.2223092643946177,0.04676889531509675,0.0,0.10716273185880908,0.0,0.0,0.0618677658476449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05141522320074577,0.0,0.0,0.058937462699435526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464056451502509,0.0,0.054367507082422134,0.2008484184376702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063001293961547,0.1530397089722502,0.0,0.0,0.04620320966272648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044386116793758965,0.0,0.09880259592753166,0.03484982811729771,0.0,0.0524508302497715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05261426429771847,0.0,0.05271607862494774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675905772855238,0.0,0.08053340282173582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230722103830137,0.10019164339529124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075616700404799,0.0,0.05555392184135974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478023523424804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049354260357542895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05248433752425225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033902273122257,0.0,0.0,0.056052790946568135,0.05914247556564806,0.0,0.04966259390790472,0.041518591297990175,0.0,0.1056763334925629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359165784400904,0.04318771923397705,0.0,0.0,0.05322037117646247,0.04423640864490927,0.16077176443414598,0.0516359103466517,0.05844355888867536,0.036953709007117766,0.0,0.04169407339632397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953333737884912,0.1142160663766014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0392545750004721,0.08392702891573657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937051065230883,0.20072002619106266,0.10258990523196476,0.0414480133520004,0.060886827365119724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481247836725236,0.0,0.0,0.27175639004281665,0.0,0.04509170338931789,0.05750069756455181,0.0,0.1231765838563702,0.0,0.0,0.0635763421275266,0.0469420468353356,0.0,0.18844154914575456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03800868132823207,0.0,0.0,0.03708768541350585,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Emmabaton,2019/01/13,"Help!. Panic Attack. Hi, 

I get panic attacks where my reality is moving so fast where I have to move into a corner and sensory overload and do not have any control about any thing but freaking out.  I use breathing exercises but some times it does take over!.  

I have been to a hospital a few times by EMS because I was over loaded and it would not stop. And moving from where is not possible.

The couple time I have rode it was at home where it feels my heart is going to fast but it is not when I read my heart beat but feels.  

I have also used Ativan to slow it and it helps but try to breath.  

Do others feel it?.",1.9217823908375105,3.5817888661417365,3.5930422333571954,89.86596993557625,77.66141732283465,6.192984967788117,20.20687186828919,6.980632752743323,0.28854960629921234,474,11,103,5,11,158,74,127,0.112,0.843,0.045,-0.7651,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,8,5,2,2,4,0,15,5,4,3,0,25,23,13,0,1,9,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,10,7,0,2,3,2,0,5,4,5,0,0,3,3,11,0,13,19,2,23,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,1,8,76,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139377818073198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937767505984813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32417339992091826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685187649894252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597986349341004,0.0,0.15764667424625334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246814626971609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612001484211035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443768323045749,0.0,0.08097223502910432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33766882838288936,0.1909969437107185,0.0,0.1429147639181103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542874275650594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343291186176824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606199669274123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425142759512345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191160815587368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712401011634598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465453752593987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249236214270624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967316615267389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461065539485509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121066365845194,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hotchelli,2019/01/13,"I feel useless (vent) Everyday lately constant rummaging in my head of worthlessness, almost 20 haven’t worked no motivation to progress and just want to dissapear. New year and ill still provide nothing for anyone. ",6.096666666666668,9.65765866666667,5.94777777777778,68.45000000000002,73.44444444444446,9.155555555555557,36.77777777777778,9.516144504307137,4.7400777777777785,176,10,24,5,4,55,34,36,0.184,0.662,0.154,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,7,3,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,3,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,13,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333288598198938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327557769050515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3597224583323549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831293029352046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34162848096398435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755004628951674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214952868852954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194050612998151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658365032790295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19633984923334816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423388773387394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436227825761248
mentalhealth,Street_Nail,2019/01/13,"I don't think I'm depressed but I'm suicidal. As I said in the title, I don't think I'm depressed but I feel suicidal. Quite often I get thoughts of shooting myself and sometimes other methods of suicide, they involve a slow, painful death, like shooting myself in the stomach and bleeding out. I want to do it, but I don't know why, If I wasn't scared of what kind of pain I would experience I would do it (i want more of a deep aching pain than a sharp extreme pain). I don't really feel depressed, that being said I do feel like I have muted emotions, but people say I'm actually quite an emotional and empathetic person, I don't try to fake it. Like I won't feel an emotion but I'll do everything as if I had that emotion, if that makes sense. That's really the only explanation I have for suicidal thoughts, I'm depressed or sad but don't realize I am. I do have energy, in fact since they've started I've had better coordination (probably due to unrelated things, mostly increased self confidence), I've been able to better on tests, better at talking to people, etc. I've been fascinated with my own suicide for about 2 or 3 months now. I'm scared I might actually do something. My reasoning behind is more ""i want to know what it feels like, and not having to deal with life anymore would be alright."" What am I feeling, what should I do about it? (16M btw, never abused, a little bullied, always had really low self confidence until recently, i've had above average confidence in most things except for talking or communicating with people)",5.513528904227783,5.971848967213115,6.803641069887835,74.87534943917173,67.52459016393442,9.830888697152721,32.773943054357204,9.811843763644266,3.1613606557377056,1225,51,230,26,19,417,147,305,0.171,0.594,0.235,0.9047,0,0,2,2,1,3,42.0,0,0,1,5,4,22,0,2,9,1,35,7,1,2,2,50,61,19,6,10,14,0,7,4,0,6,6,3,0,3,16,8,0,0,14,0,0,1,10,13,0,0,11,10,29,9,33,42,7,19,0,6,0,0,11,10,0,10,12,148,45,1,0.07647426092103335,0.09060949402773708,0.14925569422833496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363271131161237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584191758675657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20290580750927648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884160503605686,0.2634686754898151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440930015281856,0.0,0.0,0.08528901598487583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873013462701462,0.07480650144093688,0.0,0.0,0.2320061046966906,0.10926645456453214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039954644972520166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963617457292466,0.08405650765499491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401603210110885,0.14944584408756292,0.07664729995208044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051047162997157884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811271057099738,0.0,0.0,0.0610410254601616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898166451094241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816212149262324,0.32549602182510345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905287054560507,0.06677437488649414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245218769930131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267957978472414,0.0,0.0,0.14697410934414146,0.07862827699699279,0.07550910673594012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454890691308838,0.06081540173648426,0.15312815244927516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955866511442965,0.0,0.0,0.06326029889708577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05887362225136057,0.07563499949269041,0.0,0.05412887549076823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4182521458640031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293422826961682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161220171719662,0.0980032370057638,0.0,0.12142404182692433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051921003263055036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531950141301252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690061256708586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297536241369706,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jess_says_things,2019/01/13,"My abusive parents didnt recognize me. I was abused by my family growing up, and have not spoken to my siblings or my parents for alittle over 6 years now. I was diagnosed with depression, and PTSD and underwent treatment to try and heal and move on. I still have nightmares pretty regularly about living with them, and begging my friends to help me to no avail and I always wake up very unrested and stressed and sad.

Anyway, I went to my regular bar yesterday and I had a beer alone to relax after my workday.
After one beer my mom and step father walk in. I immediately looked down and tried to keep my composure. She went and sat at a table just behind me and my step father stood right next to me and began to order their drinks... 

They didnt recognize me at all. There's no doubt in my mind that if Dawn had seen/recognized me she would have caused a scene. They are insane. Like, actually psychotic. She has been after my phone number and address for years. There is just no way they wouldn't have said something to me if they had known it was me. 

I paid for my beer, walked past them, and left without so much as eye contact.

I honestly don't know how to feel about the whole thing. I guess it was the best case scenario that they didn't know me, but... It just felt so unreal. ",3.8804086687306487,5.21430045882353,4.683426212590302,85.38910216718267,71.86274509803921,8.035087719298245,25.970072239422088,8.532816995589336,1.6449607843137248,1007,32,206,17,19,325,148,255,0.114,0.794,0.091,-0.7322,2,1,5,0,1,0,31.0,0,0,8,1,13,9,0,2,5,0,21,9,2,2,1,42,35,25,0,4,9,5,2,1,1,2,2,1,1,0,6,19,5,1,5,6,1,8,10,4,0,1,19,5,43,5,34,14,4,32,0,2,2,0,21,11,0,5,12,150,49,0,0.0,0.32894849089639505,0.1354643790392291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377149800553296,0.0,0.0,0.1155060216493056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456788142779077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260225745574384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956200634769615,0.1408953049325002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598681963656567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086335840531388,0.0,0.0701895340711254,0.0,0.1332851169450411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724888734608608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292146012978242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304543009025497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338602761349625,0.0,0.0,0.15257927240310848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082397623942687,0.0,0.0,0.06781847946901275,0.0,0.1225770599053071,0.0,0.11657046753010628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016457506049507,0.16257960644777214,0.0,0.1475394257142569,0.10204572294832012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476323771972658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406530549806844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30827745199419954,0.0,0.1325155671181352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122576420866262,0.0,0.0,0.1622684604735294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185480945726846,0.13204579234786162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686732886545593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108586266765899,0.0,0.15901324430259248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222317365909777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18849388634683786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453772740843332,0.0,0.11018566926986556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573676217044781,0.0,0.15498309227998364,0.0,0.1338136579799219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861089446629002,0.0,0.0,0.17878588896394468
mentalhealth,_twistedZombiiee,2019/01/13,"just need to get it out this is my first Reddit post. idk how to use it really but I've ended up here and i just wanted to get something off my chest.

i feel so fucking ungrateful. i have a boyfriend of 2 and a half years, a little puppy that i adore, we live in a lovely little cottage in the countryside and yet.. nothing. no happiness, no excitement... nothing. am i wrong? am i ungrateful? my boyfriend is amazing in most ways but in this situation he has the - i don't know the word - but he's not helpful at all. he's grown up with his dad and all they know is getting on with it and just doing it but i cant do that. i need to be asked if i'm okay.. how's my antidepressants doing.. shit like that. 

i keep deleting and re-writing this. the worst part is, i don't feel sad, i don't feel upset.. i just don't care. I've read a few posts on here and i feel if i can get into it, it'll help me as i don't keep a diary or notes or anything.  there's no structure to this post but i'm just going for it, i'm not thinking story mode - and i'm sorry but it might be quite long, but whether people choose to read it - whatever. 

it started when i got raped at my uncles wedding by the brides best friends son, and ofc if you aren't beaten black and blue, people choose to ignore it. even at 11yo i found it easier to brush it under the carpet rather than address the situation and i'm sat here at 22yo in the same position. i mean, people know but i never did anything about it - which again, makes people not believe you. 

since i i assumed that's what guys wanted from 13yo i was putting out. i assumed that's what i had to do to get them to like me and obviously word gets around. i got onto drugs and drinking, smoking and whatever else, but i got over it eventually at 17yo and decided that all the drugs needed to stop. i still smoke weed, fags and drink booze but the hard drugs stopped, and i felt great that i managed to boot all of that but now im STILL sat here like craving it. maybe it never goes away? 

i aways felt maybe a blog or something might help but you always assume noone wants to hear it because thats sort of the whole vibe ive had my whole life. nobodys really that interested. i enjoy typing and id quite like it if people reached out and i could maybe help them.. idk . i just knew that when i was 14+ years id of loved it if i could just write to someone who i knew would reply from an outsiders point of view because i live in a very very small town so as you can imagine theres not much you can say or do without people finding out. even if you only trust your closest friends. 

idk if this has helped me or what but i feel slightly better. if you've read the whole thing - sorry for all the grammar mistakes but beed to go through and sort it but thanks for reading it - and im sorry if its too long. ",0.6308477873237166,2.656386830820772,2.3371818771275734,95.45650713243641,83.53936348408709,5.057643053979575,20.014291889555302,6.207218560251982,-0.07881140109147866,2186,62,501,18,62,717,267,597,0.093,0.74,0.16699999999999998,0.995,0,0,8,0,0,0,67.0,1,7,3,6,30,31,4,1,22,1,38,13,2,4,8,132,89,59,0,20,43,2,8,4,2,4,4,2,2,1,45,30,3,5,23,7,0,4,17,10,0,2,15,14,61,21,62,66,15,60,0,1,3,4,33,33,2,22,23,331,106,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053245398948942965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531780797144702,0.05696530090092448,0.05982267803116063,0.0,0.1202427615877062,0.0,0.0,0.07801628874052248,0.0,0.0,0.0720956198879438,0.06715430480487676,0.05659458501347488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524279610197198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021827538421042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537307336808304,0.22262673221216864,0.0,0.05345602914455132,0.0,0.056676777782520026,0.0,0.0,0.08453052412718362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177813460688795,0.0,0.12288223807486486,0.0,0.058486351891388726,0.054430467321779565,0.0,0.07016251330394506,0.09887813140877792,0.05915838252903065,0.20059503682065966,0.0,0.07273479310574213,0.0,0.1535376552314648,0.07054998638510354,0.0,0.0633608659327028,0.0,0.06811930330734041,0.057323109299901226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072122183636433,0.0,0.2144581284503703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824190061853514,0.0,0.0,0.11375577084548295,0.0,0.0,0.10550286618531192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519853263485864,0.1250505192327344,0.12827100967998686,0.11300994291817155,0.11325953369900515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155082327038268,0.0,0.04271429745756215,0.0,0.192861814782336,0.06970464538011982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357680670857201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047040536517771,0.14234490737877598,0.0987071646901435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280162887300655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048667820351487465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929570573582856,0.0,0.2661786169915988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060491906893040986,0.0,0.18385624158618827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432834036737381,0.0,0.13612399892982893,0.2560321169892831,0.0,0.0819881779448475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0508879829407554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568554676046412,0.05293377860185602,0.14385648380301336,0.0,0.0,0.05421912300264866,0.09852635349740307,0.0,0.21489709077879388,0.045292955631731135,0.0,0.10220613124826544,0.10699820184816826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891405060220566,0.0,0.0,0.04251258595612645,0.04100266470735333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526742986957482,0.0,0.10559807884447166,0.11323014043868085,0.05079284902169901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143300356368437,0.0,0.0616847632895785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04545716614248301,0.06996379863564525,0.0,0.08241584160200259
mentalhealth,telperion101,2019/01/13,"Question: Can a psychologist disclose how many clients they see? Hello All,

I recently started seeing a psychologist for some of my own mental health issues (this is my third go around). Found a doctor on ZocDoc. It is convenient for my location but did not have a great score compared to others in the area. Because of my time and location constraints, I booked anyways (maybe they had one or two bad reviews). So I meet them, they seem okay. Comes off as slightly pretentious to me, but maybe that's their style. But I did ask how many clients they see per week; I want to understand if the psychologist has a solid background or not and I thought clients per week is a decent proxy. They said they would not answer that question, so I backed off. Is this a red flag? or is this an inappropriate question. Are there any other questions you folks ask which gauge capabilities and comfort with mental health professionals.",5.120178571428571,7.3879392321428625,4.963809523809527,80.84785714285717,70.36904761904762,7.6571428571428575,29.857142857142854,8.418075326091056,2.299257142857144,733,30,130,12,14,226,109,168,0.055,0.878,0.066,-0.4337,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,8,0,8,4,0,0,10,1,13,3,0,2,1,31,27,15,0,3,10,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,9,6,0,0,9,1,0,2,3,1,0,3,6,5,21,3,14,20,3,14,0,0,4,0,18,6,0,10,6,93,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457070009125428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070890697156376,0.2325241223059735,0.0,0.0,0.0956270131505751,0.10383741370449362,0.0758101679078552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712720026299972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729019138844727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635695827828934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067802079676949,0.0,0.0,0.1371099907492416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643828425170298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980204064110445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252167918803177,0.2498775028941415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506561081439421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427118427457775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5572574219020722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279287192328782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182971260307848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973022070216887,0.1132148629509425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802435047646892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872985829777227,0.07251671855665755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148399929700927,0.12946564966856974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335216869420932,0.0,0.19951204002213954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834348450843342,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hemulaformis,2019/01/13,"New sub r/ndrelationships for mental health related relationship talk! Hi everyone! I recently made a new subreddit, Neurodivergent Relationships, in the style of r/relationships but specifically to talk about relationships where one or more person is neurodivergent (mentally ill, mentally disabled, having any mental health issues, or otherwise not neurotypical).

I've seen multiple people asking if a sub like this exists, so I'd love if some of you here could check it out!",12.112012987012982,12.519619649350648,11.839577922077925,44.46508116883117,53.805194805194795,16.531168831168834,42.626623376623385,14.90622815163357,7.481781818181819,391,18,51,17,4,130,61,77,0.046,0.8270000000000001,0.128,0.8245,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,3,4,0,1,0,10,7,6,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,2,2,7,4,2,6,0,0,1,1,10,3,0,5,4,29,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243059695085697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706731413494468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085214546468915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987785692833795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889542587568172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141865682664928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640388784420123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267355268268232,0.12861125800776432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5479035571450598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625457204954558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210324450252952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423015667419353,0.11868053281512195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134205090426505,0.5837109756729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184954892809476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,a_non_y_mau5,2019/01/13,"Do the effects of gaslighting eventually go away after you remove yourself from the situation? I worked in a high-pressure, fast-paced office and was the only new hire in a long time. At first, I thought the ragging was just a little bit of light hazing of the new guy, but it never stopped and only got worse the more I would take it. I had never encountered a work environment such as this and I'm not the type of person who is good at comebacks, I just wanted to learn and work. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn't say or do anything that wouldn't elicit a sarcastic and negative response from my coworker's, specifically my direct superiors, and I decided to remove myself from the situation and left the company.

​

There were many types of psychological abuse I endured on a daily basis from personal attacks to being openly mocked in front of the office, etc. I had no choice as the main offenders were my superiors, by rank, and the office GM was right there the whole time and did nothing but to say ignore it. Nobody else in the office was subjected to this treatment and I had no allies/coworkers I could trust. Eventually I started to lose confidence in everything I would think or say, even outside of the office and lost my energy and drive to do anything. I started taking SSRIs because I thought I have GAD due to constant recurring negative thoughts. 

​

I decided to leave after only 3 months because I recognized what this situation was doing to me and am wondering if, by doing so, and giving myself time and space, my mind will return to normal on its own and I will be able to regain my self trust and confidence?",9.017071352502665,7.765945616613423,9.248958466453676,65.91795314164007,60.88498402555911,12.180532481363153,38.11906283280085,11.20814326018867,4.355536059637913,1330,54,225,30,15,443,168,313,0.139,0.753,0.109,-0.9039,0,0,0,0,1,0,35.0,0,1,0,8,8,11,3,0,22,0,28,0,0,2,2,48,44,25,0,8,8,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,0,4,11,18,0,2,9,0,0,5,9,6,0,1,17,4,29,5,40,18,6,41,0,2,0,0,10,17,0,4,19,173,40,7,0.09589934589442156,0.11362504330780092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078138024205645,0.2330564039364132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783398103456198,0.0,0.0,0.10909935043398587,0.09010059228123443,0.0,0.0,0.11691870230338365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469724800388244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363312404508594,0.0,0.0765678242958991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011159795949734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695312051951944,0.06334061351499366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618814846438629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157193462759142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199539102501084,0.054501808273093165,0.08043582142259248,0.15339893496747886,0.0,0.0,0.09495542970916088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013229241769062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015435605297617,0.10419491991198812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611633824834252,0.0,0.08486790334013875,0.0,0.10728683795319144,0.1046854644895104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722688473942002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683100152287584,0.0,0.07654594295979933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792697512184508,0.18524037170296184,0.0,0.0,0.09396099761745864,0.092018008805359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188073218282138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747121964960204,0.0,0.0,0.09065587927816746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189751740871225,0.0,0.2287890269194315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100043932638075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233846484312414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575610123059212,0.0,0.0,0.08017614725619131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420874658350313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061448428603275214,0.0,0.2284001057378558,0.16775903937944409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656391887490592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706819492804084,0.0,0.0,0.10399874983028808,0.2094475979005081,0.0,0.0977296263767429,0.13624828767349098,0.0,0.2330564039364132,0.0
mentalhealth,linaplan,2019/01/13,"Something is very wrong with my head today. Diagnosed with OCD, Panic Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Eating Disorders and I’m an alcoholic.  
I was diagnosed with the first three, 3 years ago. The eating disorder a year ago and I’ve been sober for 18 months 

Yesterday I had a complete mental breakdown. And all the thoughts of blood and suicide came back. I needed to clean, I also couldn’t stop the thoughts.  I was somebody else. I couldn’t snap out of it. Today, I barely know who I am, my name, everything. 

There’s something very very wrong with me. ",2.616229773462784,5.4132568932038865,3.567208737864078,84.77534385113269,82.00970873786406,7.3168284789644025,26.059061488673137,8.344100000000001,2.2290653721682854,432,18,78,10,12,138,68,103,0.25,0.7240000000000001,0.025,-0.9715,0,0,3,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,7,0,8,7,2,0,1,19,14,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,10,3,1,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,2,7,0,11,0,9,5,1,13,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,11,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21507876694151687,0.1296499929478734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701642385190208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092806467714304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932845756889396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387532744110776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719759978647036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24626653124127915,0.0,0.0,0.5561549434857036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24827326904237354,0.10134401634018284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903106851920387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319139408476756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245052958528634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667214385183591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225807291100138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683333614209784,0.0,0.0,0.08995433474446465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423382786786979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679008782673875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101425673492774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270009908020158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19262282979882933,0.0,0.0,0.2299869139049761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30029540911935265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652801738407765,0.0,0.15624715362634847
mentalhealth,Steve-Evans-1978,2019/01/13,"Interesting survey Hi. This study is still looking for additional participants. It is trying to analyse the link between relationships and psychosis. I’ve completed it and it’s really interesting, hopefully they get good participant numbers when it is published. They’re still open for participants: [link here](https://www.psych-ssl.manchester.ac.uk/survey/cpollard/)",10.544285714285714,15.49539892307693,8.864835164835165,44.73730769230772,69.38461538461539,12.2021978021978,42.043956043956044,10.608840637214634,7.435518681318682,312,18,30,12,7,95,39,52,0.0,0.784,0.21600000000000005,0.8903,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,4,6,0,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,3,19,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630040645450408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18088515285511653,0.0,0.0,0.2903920950596115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34387361515458503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907367866541137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22179677525808286,0.0,0.0,0.37170966801620137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5529819271680565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350599941030167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,runaway_brigade,2019/01/13,"BPD Traits On top of my expected anxiety/depression diagnosis, apparently I have ""acute BPD traits."" I'm familiar with the diagnostic criteria for BPD, but I'm not sure what, if anything I should think about this new diagnosis. 

(I also found out about this diagnosis from a nurse reviewing my psychiatric history. I wondered if it influenced her view of me, considering she asked if I self harm for attention, something no medical professional has asked before and spoke as if having traits was equivalent to a full diagnosis.)",11.994010989010988,10.424112549450552,12.084697802197805,48.9415521978022,55.373626373626394,17.891208791208793,48.024725274725284,15.903189008614273,8.123964835164836,426,23,65,20,4,145,67,91,0.112,0.873,0.016,-0.8622,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,1,1,17,13,8,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,10,1,12,9,1,5,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,5,1,44,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515069694879346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590519317886806,0.0,0.3542294073364648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612121173727461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7158352276798886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631771786531347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077274565671187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19085582264825188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18297666792394687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19764271980058945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585159405697626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855894740854708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139501353429935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054556956160328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,b2n2n2br3ad,2019/01/13,the darkest hour im in the darkest hour of my life right now. im so lonely I think it could kill me.,-2.3187500000000014,-0.6346920416666659,0.8049999999999997,103.54,94.41666666666666,3.2,16.333333333333336,3.1291,-1.3178166666666664,77,2,21,0,3,27,18,24,0.458,0.542,0.0,-0.9365,0,2,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300367774785113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5674714495234878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6224283479369103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187571058204903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035044937259464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460490573087822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846127747131622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,angryboyo,2019/01/13,"loneliness so basically i was in my first time, long time relationship with a girl (one year) because of like personal shit. i know alot of people feel lonely and its very common. the thing is i get extremely angry when im alone as i feel no ones watching me and im not having interaction. i know its rude and annoying to just fucking spill your emotions onto the internet but i get so fucking angry as i feel the only thing to keep my mind from wondering to suicidal thoughts is drugs or girls (manly girls hah). i think its because having a girlfriend to me is like having more positive energy. sort of like having a constant energy drink, and because went out with this girl for a year and then stopped straight away i didnt even realize how alone i was until a few months after and it felt like i went completely cold turkey. she also done some horrible things to try and get back at me and the feeling of someone you put most of your information and effort to is now free. she can do whatever she want holding all of your secret ans can pretend you didnt even exist. i believe the true feeling of loneliness is being ripped for a relationship that you had put all your energy to, just to have that energy stripped.

i know that theirs always to sides of a story and all that shit, i understand how the other person felt but this doesn't just apply to relationship. if a close one dies then, then you are truly alone. 

theyre are probably bits in this that dont make sense because i struggle writing a bit, i apologize for that",4.859850294632898,6.053529735785954,5.788275203057811,78.92313266443702,69.36789297658862,9.173498964803313,28.953814301640392,9.48565724429506,2.592398821468387,1217,44,229,26,21,401,161,299,0.155,0.695,0.15,-0.1472,0,5,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,8,1,2,13,14,6,1,17,1,24,6,2,3,4,56,48,26,2,2,8,0,7,4,1,0,1,0,0,7,17,14,1,3,17,2,1,4,6,8,0,4,11,9,33,7,34,36,10,31,0,1,1,2,28,9,4,7,22,168,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909552205853181,0.0,0.07488562990856626,0.07791780817505495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797992518389942,0.07200506815096969,0.0,0.22833365288305005,0.0,0.0,0.10550268739796913,0.0,0.0,0.20446604873784385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818206036338864,0.10119394633501637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718581473195732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582847787134048,0.10974795571416092,0.0917337016328743,0.10859521734939473,0.0,0.0,0.10533486604145102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369957393303566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23674153838728934,0.0,0.17982238547259174,0.0,0.0,0.07965200365432161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314140161720173,0.14677254662743522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022992804407163,0.0,0.0,0.08323348595850656,0.0,0.0,0.15438990507383216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299538668327794,0.0,0.0,0.08287039626858173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250689263915521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455192306476086,0.0,0.07474430704865405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903631254475944,0.0712191093559365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491970770701541,0.16352950632375696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096212486226996,0.0,0.0,0.18827254124890666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30161002005772514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922447360104549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934272836590242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828906845712436,0.0,0.09789515463600144,0.0,0.10242936313257256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18663514122964928,0.06000213776963498,0.0,0.07434144329147563,0.10920703449212377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357690390867954,0.0,0.0,0.09748482798386834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726461829075294,0.05523259309094297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361450677719012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155096651005564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060500744277053
mentalhealth,enchiladagirl,2019/01/13,"New approach to talking about mental health in high schools My community in suburban Pennsylvania is struggling - this past week, a 15 year old boy took his own life. This is the FOURTH student from the SAME high school in UNDER A YEAR to do so. The  administration's response to suicide is the same every time - obviously it is not helping. It's  the same shit they tell their students.  **Anyone else feel the conversation around mental health (especially  with  kids born after 2000)  needs to change?**. There needs to be more.   I am heartbroken seeing young kids take their lives - I was in their shoes and yes,  high school can be pretty dark. But god... there is so much more in life... ",3.3579262672811083,6.274826774193549,3.3755760368663594,86.63693548387097,79.64516129032258,6.123502304147466,22.566820276497694,7.447530270364453,0.9953497695852532,536,17,100,8,14,163,85,124,0.129,0.8270000000000001,0.044,-0.9094,0,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,4,0,6,2,1,1,8,1,11,6,2,0,1,12,17,4,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,2,8,0,16,13,7,22,0,0,1,0,12,10,1,0,10,61,12,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628675882214056,0.14109536960134492,0.0,0.1225869265475104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567396535586494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503512163767647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602266799214893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962794539974415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927486232375306,0.0,0.0,0.09230097067541496,0.4364796810045534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945306743767152,0.0,0.0,0.1215963169907825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775491399767745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012292519070305,0.20421349405436615,0.0,0.13299665238129474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449856471487038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145530589457738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009581242402228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4180953948741924,0.10973330816083804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135252809359594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395949541276154,0.0,0.15062726533140247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035372600658722,0.1106823168930002,0.12036051587507635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029707721217777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299567301792236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045889831529113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773554174388989
mentalhealth,I_Nexto,2019/01/13,"Identifying dermatophagia Background: 16. Economically reliant on parents.

I like to bite my finger nails, finger, frequently. I always thought it's just a bad habit. However, after reading an article I became a bit suspicious that I might have dermatophagia. I dislike having body hair and bite them a lot, and also bite the inside-cheek a lot. Over the course of a few years, I've kept a few ""tools"" like clips and scissors to cut my fingers. I cannot resist biting it  if I don't remove the new grown part it with a tool. 

I'm not sure if I have dermatophagia, but I'd say I'm very stressed. Dealt with suicidal thoughts and had (slightly) cut myself before.

I have never told anybody and my parents always told me its just a bad habit. Should I go see a therapist for help? And I sure doesn't want my parents to be involved/know about this. Or should I tell them to take me to a therapist? I'm sure I cannot afford having an appointment. 

And is there anyway to ease dermatophagia? I'm sick with dealing with biting my fingers and then scolding myself that I'm disgusting.",3.2912803643724686,5.524749028846159,4.337165991902837,83.46572874493928,75.53846153846155,7.263562753036437,26.81275303643725,8.20500826718156,1.9246307692307685,850,33,158,15,19,276,117,208,0.204,0.74,0.056,-0.9838,5,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,2,0,6,11,3,1,15,0,15,7,6,0,4,32,29,14,1,5,7,3,5,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,7,12,0,1,2,1,0,3,6,6,0,0,6,7,24,5,16,19,6,11,0,0,1,0,11,2,0,6,8,102,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558797754231787,0.21972663619921598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204866591593973,0.0,0.0,0.11235167257476296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414752595830352,0.14666061389382928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361218177729805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750382743826165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849997201667081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256273266135049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129010818250802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245020962857485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400677864796382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018331803980118,0.12751978584761034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4398262093322516,0.1429805450324887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207027493343662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049991692733598,0.0,0.0,0.10521443740480167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512451246386722,0.0,0.0,0.14442436162079764,0.0,0.3733229869096224,0.0,0.09927354557012368,0.0,0.1154040115603414,0.0,0.0,0.3066045654767497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096413598792712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25232933099185506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894232699732632,0.07787739524941019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502591774220775
mentalhealth,internsdontpay,2019/01/13,"Bland I can't really choose how I'm feeling. But I'm angry, I'm irritated, I'm not okay. Everyone is annoying, and unworthy of speaking to me, but I'm also useless and pathetic. What is this? Am I deluded? God... everytime my sister speaks, her obnoxious voice and laugh goes right through me, it really irritates me, it's extremely irritating. I've probably got some type of autism or something, there's no mental health condition that can explain this. And I'm not a sociopath, which is what my sister calls me. She's so ignorant. She knows about my schizophrenia, how can she be so careless? Do you know how much this effects me? God you piss me off, everyone is this house pisses me off. You'll have nothing, I'll make sure you all regret calling me stupid, belittling me. Really? That will never happen Aimee, god over yourself. You spineless bitch. I can't escape my mind, it's so painful, but, I'm a strong minded person. I just have to be positive right? Yeah, it's that easy. Thanks. I've been getting help for the past three years but I always end up in the same place, but it's different now. Because I've given up. I can't find a good place for myself. I can't identify myself, I'm just a disgusting mess, but I'm better than everyone else, because they're ignorant and stupid. 
",1.946473743647655,4.4673589367588935,3.6983554488989263,84.64082509881425,82.16205533596838,7.5668548842461885,24.845990965556183,8.527137837955566,2.0780639186900047,1013,40,195,25,28,338,142,253,0.301,0.5820000000000001,0.117,-0.9954,1,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,0,5,0,3,12,21,7,0,6,2,19,4,2,5,3,37,38,19,0,1,11,2,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,15,5,0,2,7,0,0,0,8,14,0,1,3,4,31,7,15,31,4,15,0,2,0,0,18,10,3,2,5,117,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148476338797204,0.11599886945882144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16996400575289985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329530830164953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847029125749111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565199704979268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645774224495438,0.0,0.12347437106528975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996318011233504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048902285641939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274166563138613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728350804312677,0.0,0.0,0.11692906391942637,0.11149754894494218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232782951345752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818449888262414,0.0,0.0,0.09344244174168792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085845546508004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323030651464345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930561196387352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049077248568567,0.0,0.28152527483905937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248113757266099,0.0,0.10752027158742562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376601920693584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483402552193527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308099224531356,0.0,0.1217259462310435,0.2913039940995853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030572107305593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679255711759428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23810784495167545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732331659828652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139066849484105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283484282209764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977437149543037
mentalhealth,BaffledBro99,2019/01/13,"Need guideance - how to proceed getting help for wife.. Need help/guidance determining where to get help on various topics/problems. any insights are appreciated as my life is a nightmare and has been for years. need help figuring out what might cause the following type of behaviors in my wife. dealing with Othello Syndrome (see wikiwand for good summary pathological jealousy ((extreme jealousy - she believes I am cheating on her, despite information that contradicts this.) trying to get her to a neuropsychologist for diagnosis, 6 month lead time. Her mental health dr. has made things nothing but worse constantly changing her meds around, and by PUTTING her on meds that CAUSE the disease in the first place.

This disease seems centered with dopamine receptor d3 - the best paper I can find is the pmc3144984 on the ncbi nlm nih gov site . I am avoiding links as a new user as per the banning warning as I wanted to get feedback as soon as possible.

Things used to be very different, but now after spending all day, she is again my best friend and lover.. until late at night.. then it is like she turns into a different person.. agitated, ruthless verbally, she says she is hurt by this cheating - but I don't see sadness .. it is anger.my questions really go to: Late at night is when things go really wrong. I say controlled rage below - she basically from a sound decides she wants a divorce, doesn't trust me at all.. and she treats me like dog $hit.

She says she hears 'clicking' - it triggers a controlled rage response ( misophonia ?) (she believes this is sound from 'device' used to talk to girls.. she says my lips look distorted. It is like she is fast cycling every evening - bipolar? I am so out of my element, but know that I am doing no wrong and want to get her the help she needs.

The problem is she came from an abusive relationship, and she likes to use that against me as well.. she transfers the prior relationship to this one - meaning she threatens me verbally, then threatens to use against me. that part puts me in danger and I can't have that.

Last night this controlled rage response happened without the clicking.. supposedly. I can't get her / her phycologist to even listen to my perspective - she refuses to listen. My wife has her Dr. convinced I am cheating.. my wife filters all the information and keeps control. the strange thing is after hours of work, I can get back the intense soul-mate level relationship we had for decades. It is hell on me, I am getting so little sleep.

Yes, the easy answer is to leave, but if I do it now, I will likely end up in a very bad position. at least now she agreed to see a neuropsychologist, is getting a head CT, and is believing enough to get diagnosed and maybe get on the right meds. I just need to know what options do I have to move this more quickly, what diseases might this be, or what is it NOT?",5.834086690464049,7.228429211320757,5.804033656297808,78.96373533911272,67.26415094339623,8.673125956144824,34.51300356960734,8.994212911058018,3.051253442121367,2262,107,407,39,37,710,266,530,0.156,0.7340000000000001,0.11,-0.9886,2,1,0,0,1,0,89.0,1,0,0,9,17,29,8,1,27,1,45,11,3,14,3,74,88,31,0,10,10,4,0,5,2,3,7,9,0,2,29,18,0,8,13,0,1,8,7,15,1,2,4,15,62,14,69,78,10,66,1,2,6,1,59,27,1,7,36,281,91,7,0.0,0.07407726040142495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04251648070619506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05565701953728057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04807485400050433,0.05220249319899914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113195538965645,0.13122403973738558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150746369525879,0.0,0.12845274991952785,0.06613901632277418,0.0,0.0,0.06756308022083676,0.280490845597046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04032092660487672,0.06445649177705867,0.0,0.06345758367446197,0.0,0.13064245060611598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05537512272318451,0.06460099217466547,0.0,0.0825891719772672,0.0,0.05267670934472573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057143137636449515,0.053180401669789684,0.0,0.0,0.04830363400695069,0.0,0.3593115422172892,0.0,0.0710643450820542,0.05243971853091315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528718764295122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416466898423906,0.06645698812233633,0.07046580497671248,0.0,0.2095328218462404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157067331529456,0.0,0.06693011295791547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055571611667925964,0.0,0.0,0.06871990482683127,0.050963027614639736,0.14105301078593044,0.06620080007427892,0.0,0.0,0.04416049023053464,0.1527232166338479,0.06266255052564705,0.0,0.0,0.05250196378656296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059158960886013086,0.0,0.0,0.06281083176116227,0.06810378859418231,0.2083404881331757,0.0,0.063006547032794,0.1326499788962953,0.0,0.0,0.04990373234838081,0.06645001731626109,0.0,0.2317929559959062,0.0,0.06038325201920941,0.0,0.17601540465692553,0.0,0.05999066580269642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042365904224893766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770424077451093,0.0,0.0,0.054590998544755166,0.06532122530305799,0.0,0.0,0.0704831276590984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964846646858072,0.0,0.12570191467450512,0.0700379221205406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010521404317479,0.0,0.0,0.20137273738791747,0.0,0.05339266368313805,0.0,0.19887709998564826,0.0,0.0,0.14946362670650284,0.05691684627316977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256623545949327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05025207864525173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16614491908017293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03645654655884239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04244771169170404,0.06800498544595325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21599256918706375,0.0,0.10317288321829388,0.11062966470703586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056213962529443655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06026809340534672,0.0,0.04551609339647422,0.0,0.0637143253924456,0.0,0.13671398012411015,0.0,0.040261527927342486
mentalhealth,sugarskellie100,2019/01/13,"Really intrusive self-harm thoughts happening first thing when I wake For the past month or so, every time I wake up in the morning my very first thought is stabbing myself in the chest or gut multiple times. I don’t know why this is happening. I’m not suicidal, but I have been depressed and going through some really hard times in my relationship and trying to process some old trauma. It’s really hard to start my day off like this when I am trying my best to function normally. Sometimes this is my last thought going to sleep too, but I’m better able to fend off these thoughts at night. I have had self harm thoughts in the past but it has never happened so intrusively and persistently like this.. just wondering if anyone else has this experience.  Every time I wake I feel guilty as soon as I think it and spend the rest of my morning trying to ignore it. ",8.439775449101797,7.040627730538926,8.025501497005987,74.70436002994016,62.113772455089816,11.703293413173654,35.845059880239525,10.686352973137794,3.574820958083832,689,25,133,14,8,219,96,167,0.13,0.769,0.101,-0.6688,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,7,8,0,0,5,0,11,6,6,0,1,26,28,16,1,2,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,4,0,1,9,0,1,2,3,4,0,2,7,3,16,4,19,21,4,28,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,6,20,87,27,0,0.11452076900511801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800755844288862,0.11734006128410072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018248170089632,0.10128431375344722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385642194146225,0.0,0.09863657053518146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566740751966016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929773742541563,0.0,0.0,0.11202328689968853,0.0,0.0,0.057905141773087074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948226152255828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016958431553186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038110134617345,0.0,0.2051762297142732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293761966836496,0.09334971162259907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189812613683912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140938522801788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832547703821249,0.0,0.0,0.107469983861654,0.1122060385634534,0.0,0.0,0.12017028260398605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21864606462100206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200948112896904,0.0,0.0,0.1229524477101219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389402762480162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460347453489135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132639688345428,0.0,0.08105838973698576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526713381864793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608251025121048,0.07338028463249939,0.0,0.4545834924801614,0.2671119254340519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332562544412999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449162801439567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333718146097197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419288885711033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sentimental_noodle,2019/01/13,"Need Help With Girlfriend’s Mental Health I’ve been talking with a girl for about a year and a half long distance. I’m 18M and she’s 17F. I am on medication for bipolar depression and have been steady for almost two years after a hospital stay. The girl (I’m just gonna use her/she) is dealing with anxiety (diagnosed) and depression (I’m pretty confident that it’s diagnosed). She also has symptoms, I think, of DID, but is not diagnosed (I’m just guessing and her therapists thinks so too, but she’s not diagnosed). She describes to me that she has trouble staying in touch with reality and other people. She cuts and eats way too little and then throws up pretty regularly. I’ve pushed her to try and talk to her therapist, but she maintains status quo because she’s afraid of her parents being told that she’s cutting and wants to kill herself. I don’t know how to help her. My strategy, bad as it is, is to wait until June, when she turns 18, and then really push her to therapy. Any advice would be appreciated, especially on how to deal with this situation on my end. Thanks for listening!",3.6405659397715486,5.587137490654207,5.0924610591900334,79.72759086188994,73.62616822429906,8.680789200415369,28.244029075804786,9.2995712137729,2.611653997923157,869,35,165,21,18,291,127,214,0.115,0.7859999999999999,0.099,-0.5487,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,0,12,9,3,1,5,0,15,9,0,3,0,35,32,23,1,3,7,1,1,0,1,2,8,1,0,2,7,16,1,1,3,0,0,3,3,8,0,2,4,2,23,1,28,24,0,22,0,2,0,0,29,6,0,2,10,107,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468088675777195,0.0,0.0,0.11751709226345924,0.0,0.0,0.0938511562623732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980746953274738,0.0,0.08977855457659475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798903428301692,0.07154035214383059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419819052867113,0.20216055992655976,0.4764636293128994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008654021423815,0.0,0.0,0.10394436101478062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928307640941314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474607415092805,0.0,0.0,0.15732519736204614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983924735314475,0.0,0.06449689178955857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762355465115283,0.0,0.10385814366819897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822584594942555,0.11826926874384115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701947558351547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031217903504466,0.0,0.0,0.08136126570555476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387905693507097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518254478002173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319153176289877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501760422034846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121979905455367,0.0,0.18865584210283826,0.0,0.108047485835149,0.1342091095208341,0.2725233843387413,0.0,0.15039654509870895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121406055107248,0.0,0.07967838356566756,0.12765181204807555,0.11464172062133605,0.0,0.0,0.10135963806492046,0.0,0.0,0.06922079351249738,0.0931533238523141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336776141992291,0.0,0.0,0.15114941829769338
mentalhealth,mononym_music_,2019/01/13,"Inbetween providers and PCP will not write meds to hold me over. What are my options? Hi guys,

Technically he did write me two months worth but there is a 3-4 month wait for new patients. Is this normal? Should I get a new PCP; is this unreasonable to ask for? I just need enough to get me to my next appointment.

Thanks in advance",1.1068181818181841,3.5977311212121243,1.9305303030303025,95.91579545454546,86.27272727272728,5.724242424242425,20.37121212121212,7.1686216300943375,0.37561212121212106,258,8,58,4,8,80,50,66,0.0,0.91,0.09,0.7041,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,12,13,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,7,1,8,10,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,5,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339358848028273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585595796606747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614748507316549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24777192733029135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779546011324742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39947027515024297,0.0,0.0,0.18554603343727089,0.0,0.4833569186807066,0.26612769201096953,0.0,0.24517710619457714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303827078380987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24444317073938115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grandeslay,2019/01/13,"How to cope on phone data loss? This is giving me major anxiety right now... all of my photos, messages etc. had been completely wiped out due to a system error on my Apple iPhone 7 Plus. I’m completely rattled by it having lost so much memories and photos for future references 😭 I don’t know how to cope in this kind of situations being a sentimental person. I really need some advice :(",2.4742999999999995,5.0330115466666685,5.058250000000001,75.49537500000002,80.2,8.016666666666666,21.375,8.841846274778883,2.0457,306,9,52,8,8,108,62,75,0.153,0.7859999999999999,0.061,-0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,2,1,10,11,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,12,7,5,9,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528551231751501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19794900543366567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5426052513665605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28858334170241434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482240558691575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694564254642912,0.14220651739735465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824647006399294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19021675286846204,0.19186562677861047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593732642256503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576686977601604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22097774367064374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908546038558271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Down_South_Donte,2019/01/13,"Just realized I can never be happy working. What’s wrong with me? I’m 23, studied Finance in college, and now working for a Broker. Since I was 16, I have worked 6 jobs and have disliked them all, even when they were great for me.

I love being outside doing lawn work on my own, so my first job was landscaping, and having to do it on a routine everyday depressed me. I did it for a few months before I became a basket case. I then got a simple job as a grocery bagger during college for a great company with great coworkers, and even though I enjoyed it, I got depressed a month into it once the newness wore off. 

Post-college, I needed initial financial experience, so I just a job as a Universal Banker (bank teller, but also gave out small loans) and I loved it... at first. I felt like a finally had a job to take pride in and to focus on excelling in... but a month into it, it became routine/boring and I kept thinking “what now?” What is there to look forward to now. I ended up depressed for the next 9 months I worked there.

I got tired of doing that job and needed something new, so I started working as a financial analysis for a Broker-Dealer firm. I was so amped to get this job. I make excellent money for my age, and I get to be alone all day just listening to music and looking over data. The first few weeks were amazing. Now, I’m starting to get used to it after a month, and now my depression is coming back again.

Even though I have a great job that actually interests me, I just can’t stick to anything. I love stock trading on my personal time, but I can’t even enjoy it long for work. It just seems like I need something different everyday or I’ll go insane. 

I see my coworkers coming in everyday actually excited to tackle the day, and I have never been excited for a work day in my life. They come in with great moods and can actually see they are just “ok” with life. While halfway through day, EVERYDAY, I have a breakdown in the bathroom just because I want to be at home. It’s depressing thinking this is all I have to look forward to... especially since I feel that I have plateaued in life. Yea, I can make more money later and get a better position, but then what?   

I wish I was like the normal person that could just ignore emotions and just work. I’m already trying to figure out a plan on what to do next, even though most would kill for my current situation. I just feel like a basket case that can’t tough through life like most people. The thought of starting a new work week ALL OVER again has me so fucking stressed out. Like when does it end? I get my weekend just to have to work the next five days.

How do I stop this?",4.6826818231983225,5.1252079099437164,5.711065555678183,82.03857935106501,69.33771106941839,8.521995364750028,30.122999668910712,8.4952907291091,2.1567437810396206,2068,77,416,30,34,686,226,533,0.092,0.7340000000000001,0.175,0.9942,11,1,2,0,0,0,69.0,0,0,4,19,38,38,2,1,31,2,40,9,0,4,6,75,87,38,1,8,16,0,3,6,0,1,5,1,2,2,25,27,0,3,9,1,7,6,5,11,0,4,17,9,57,26,65,64,10,85,0,5,5,4,11,27,1,4,62,295,82,27,0.0,0.0,0.15140419775177166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053562932852368704,0.057070694932755885,0.0413578483829646,0.0,0.056035052755686585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042558460270185235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0397669712470721,0.0,0.03152603713221023,0.0,0.04400712607699337,0.0,0.0,0.045739242853527436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364814456549065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041291598766148914,0.0,0.0,0.16676505444349515,0.05331767528942556,0.22271770853530626,0.0,0.0,0.05403297300545053,0.0,0.0,0.04525765684218507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817435767718475,0.09161134064444028,0.0,0.0,0.17079205416333784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050588883262101786,0.0,0.0,0.0522990627842808,0.03694644053627619,0.04965616876908803,0.056653147200322475,0.0,0.13197066625026588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04781128132087117,0.13509927822847204,0.0,0.029391808111787637,0.0,0.12408777444204365,0.2850893738166819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505341820680722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051876094514529715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4105669770275636,0.0,0.0572168966270103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461162166180146,0.1515970847772072,0.0,0.0,0.045767676502112734,0.1302870779988121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140029097464824,0.0,0.06904263452993158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20639899284965305,0.0,0.0,0.1150418946620163,0.0797742571320322,0.1498450133719024,0.1650039795721207,0.0,0.05067141255435899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507662705057062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03585386717974296,0.09031410347935574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953032922404873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242307223173627,0.047080966469402505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556122300565268,0.05813176867675526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962812712589433,0.0,0.0,0.10981609795533658,0.0,0.0,0.0432375000016245,0.05924133674178787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0388845429346631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627598164187835,0.15243426688254968,0.041057304905809465,0.03015643976282948,0.05944077054683398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035112263270322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0446666478090245,0.0,0.0,0.03050386587710192,0.0,0.08296807876360411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059471684450269985,0.0,0.0,0.4141543300565022,0.0,0.0,0.036738079466951366,0.0565441230108701,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NARKFLY77,2019/01/13,"I am too anxious to play any kind of ""team"" sport again Ive had this problem for a while now ever since I became a teenager, I can't seem to keep in sync with the rest of my team mates when ever I play team sports, I think too much in my head and my mind some times wonders away, I end up playing awkwardly and seem like a total noob even in sports that I've been playing for years like soccer and rugby, and when my friends scold me for messing up I feel extremely depressed, their words roll around in my head and i can't seem to concentrate on the rest of the game, I'm afraid my peers will catch on that I can't play properly and they won't pass the ball my way, maybe I'm over thinking things a little  but it's gotten to the point where I'm to anxious to participate in any kind of sport and I hate that. Has anyone ever experienced this kind of problem and can give me some advice and help, I would really apreciate it thanks.",4.399166666666666,4.4371711275510215,4.988163265306124,88.39136054421772,69.86734693877551,8.165986394557821,26.027210884353746,7.793537801064563,1.1335353741496594,735,19,166,8,12,236,109,196,0.114,0.778,0.109,-0.4499,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,3,12,19,1,2,9,0,12,2,2,0,4,31,27,13,0,3,1,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,8,11,0,1,7,15,0,2,4,7,0,0,3,2,23,12,27,21,6,29,0,1,0,0,10,15,0,6,13,106,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512164942600915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414658199399727,0.0,0.0,0.2893031590755238,0.0,0.08953029337555915,0.0,0.0,0.11398497189089135,0.0,0.0,0.12030014397269174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102828179220654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134076502754328,0.0,0.0,0.08457086387832083,0.3474653163925273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474213541959085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892531814108706,0.0,0.0,0.12283003368711318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641546036701792,0.2628170912263045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582418895918416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381005750150107,0.0,0.4000096811861871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511019598119313,0.12833222331449387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863590167533082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928642453161793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412597051029638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104154981682533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450387606198397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202730443469998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34969525011412955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591807943760563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178843312624718,0.0,0.0,0.08506574771975857,0.16408892817920548,0.0,0.0,0.07466261163994163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163417688368064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885662969353565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909577185241624,0.0,0.0,0.0824551721819832
mentalhealth,supersonder,2019/01/13,"How to stop excessive daydreaming? I don't know if this is the right place to post this. Please respect. 

I spend 40-60% of my waking time daydreaming. I tend to think in bed too much that it interferes with my goals for the day. I do it on commute and pretty much every time I'm alone. Even a phrase in a book or a song triggers me to wander off, thinking about alternate futures and obsessing over mundane ideas. 

The only time I stop daydreaming is in early mornings when I haven't thought of anything yet or when I'm in a classroom, which is a fortunate thing. My days end with a speedy reel of images and random thoughts of no value which are quickly forgotten. 

When I try to communicate this to my friends, they think I'm joking or trying to be clever. I remember watching The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and thinking about how 'painfully honest' it was.

I'm past my teens now, and I would like to know how to get out of this slump. I get the notion that this is not normal or healthy. Or is it? 

I understand that a therapist might help, but until that option becomes viable for me, do you have any advice to control daydreaming? ",4.399871076233183,5.622112874439463,5.085086883408072,83.42924467488791,70.47982062780271,8.08621076233184,28.73570627802691,8.472884824447931,2.052659417040359,893,33,173,14,16,288,129,223,0.062,0.838,0.1,0.7977,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,2,13,8,0,1,12,0,15,3,1,5,0,41,31,19,0,3,8,0,0,1,1,2,2,1,1,0,16,8,0,4,12,3,1,0,4,2,0,0,3,2,20,6,31,25,2,29,0,0,1,0,5,10,0,9,19,121,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411989346172112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965334109238454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982616196221188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890715149476865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958348014491736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206353583216154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637476512878284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279797658502074,0.0,0.0,0.09543764755385198,0.0,0.12174334965175385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163655204569732,0.0,0.15098544675875708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685201642573599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631173743747304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15882145079751134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102061158903183,0.0705930047411237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532864615402024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124410414478148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157451399331047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989503102881557,0.15375296885775808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793691824243126,0.0,0.0,0.15096662017570422,0.15861222336708342,0.0,0.0,0.13838635898102938,0.1470034586503251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368477512321813,0.1233980217153714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416087391465137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776994238012918,0.09599612061979093,0.3703464899587184,0.0,0.2294259305157304,0.2527687558706426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19620536934383825,0.0,0.0,0.15042448990178173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264516979868228,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iwishiwasgayandcute,2019/01/13,"messed up cicardian rhythm reason for my depression? Hey guys, 

i am and 18 years old college student and I have very big depression for now over 5 months. It all started when my high school ended, about a month after that. I have various reason to be depressed, for example fucked up childhood. But my depression kicked in random. There was no explicit event or reason to be depressed. Everything was roughly the same for the last 3 years. So I thought about the reason for it and I saw some articles about depression and a routine in life. Than the idea came in my mind: After my school ended, my sleep patterns where all over the place. I mean during school time I would wake up everyday at the same time. I wasn't sleeping much because I was staying up too long every night but I woke up early and was tired so I could sleep easily the same night. For the last 5 months I was waking up everyday in different times. My college classes start late so I don't have to wake up early. I am also using too much eletronical devices which suppress melatonin and disturb the circadian rhythm further. Has anyone experience with this and can tell me how you affected this? ",3.916227272727273,6.284997259090915,4.46909090909091,82.61363636363639,74.13636363636364,7.672727272727273,27.818181818181817,8.548686976883017,2.261336363636364,927,37,166,18,20,294,124,220,0.134,0.85,0.016,-0.9677,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,14,9,1,1,11,0,18,9,6,7,3,34,27,16,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,7,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,10,2,23,0,30,13,9,52,0,6,1,1,4,19,1,3,31,119,29,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633117972816546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674072748158437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058185319124260025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916915617412523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076208907617652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4932646964059021,0.0,0.0,0.09972473750411562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908040387200882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804205828597254,0.0,0.0857841358881433,0.09336823097686192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824181262390167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945103199293527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084796635081833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775121893136508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15560867168996653,0.10767154481204737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741902461047315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447007949916184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039728267355797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637709987766747,0.0,0.2285613865552338,0.0,0.14033318801750444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914636418871996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015852072588076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972473750411562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3925532132398549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898009150162351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865562324744034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351197356376877,0.10173679899973352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342734232439708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577648844059097,0.16697265792334698,0.10970551702249352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243799073381393,0.0,0.0787560907557368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780480746224148,0.0,0.0,0.12293309825224255
mentalhealth,PlushGarden,2019/01/13,"I watched something scary and it’s caused me serious sleeping issues for weeks now. Not sure if ill actually find some help on here, though it’ll be welcome. This is more a vent of frustration. 

I’m an 18 y/o that’s always had some very minor insomnia, but a few weeks ago I watched a pretty scary “documentary” that has turned bedtime into a paranoia nightmare for me. 

I just cannot seem to stop thinking about it when I lay down to sleep, and sometimes I’ll freak myself out so bad that I’ll literally paralyze myself with fear and make myself unable to move. 

It’s nearly 4AM where I am and I have work at 9:30 in the morning, which is going to make my shift terrible. This whole thing creates a cycle of stress on me that only makes my issues grow. 

Does anyone have any advice that could help me? I’m starting to get desperate. Melatonin usually works very well on me (within a half hour) but since this all started, all it seems to do is make me really tired but still unable to sleep. ",5.4748815566835844,5.737247380710659,5.966814720812184,81.52335236886636,67.57868020304568,8.800169204737733,29.107021996615906,8.59863814320734,2.0234199661590533,782,25,155,11,12,253,129,197,0.198,0.7040000000000001,0.098,-0.9743,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,10,10,1,2,8,0,13,6,3,5,3,29,27,11,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,15,7,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,7,1,1,1,2,17,3,23,23,7,25,0,0,2,0,3,11,0,5,11,101,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.12321302574368198,0.0,0.0,0.123381291709072,0.1119232153597573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505969554479544,0.0,0.0,0.0858621602724524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828498740580415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542309154532087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970535681497133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080954618139233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049230312763154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207930779548394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540073780134676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596643062806809,0.0,0.07175732899034515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926086480228975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434215938080505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635684369454673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33712216829134284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341960092215416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602757214494638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128453353158427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088635997842583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22988748342933074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444483042148386,0.0,0.3790581003486662,0.0,0.0,0.09720228325739264,0.12487586738713598,0.0,0.1787371011552189,0.0,0.10083260942462467,0.10556028062432513,0.14463213948050452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899998417135775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388254056759696,0.08090328095410748,0.12405129797267532,0.0,0.0,0.14511903831660405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733627202204965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905922129645182,0.20835794702474927,0.0,0.0,0.20255874360955425,0.0,0.11352426588660325,0.0,0.0,0.1409664730637349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383977418970768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TastefulQualityWater,2019/01/13,"Auditory Hallucinations - any tactics for dealing with them? So I’ve had to see a psychiatrist for the past few years and was diagnosed with a disocial personality disorder. This really isn’t great because you then often get refused further treatment and they don’t often take everything you say seriously. It was going in circles and I got myself discharged three months ago, I don’t want to go back. 

Most nights I’ve been waking up at night to little noises, sometimes just whispering but sometimes it’s screaming and banging and a little harder to handle, it was only a few seconds at first but now it goes on for much longer. Last night I sprinted downstairs knife in hand to help my flatmate since I heard what sounded like a violent fight between him and his boyfriend, someone was clearly falling downstairs and there was screaming, smashing and banging. He was fast asleep, it was all in my head. 

I’m really struggling to figure out when I’m hearing something and when something is actually there. I can’t sleep anymore, I haven’t had a good nights sleep in a long time now. 

If anyone has much experience with auditory hallucinations and has any tactics they could share that would be much appreciated. It’s never properly coherent voices, mostly screaming. Constant screaming. 

Thanks. ",6.078427887901572,8.517659554112559,6.264133059922536,71.80642515379361,68.17748917748918,8.326361357940304,35.10161768056505,8.99025400887824,3.529834632034632,1051,53,161,20,19,335,145,231,0.131,0.736,0.132,0.3071,1,0,2,0,1,0,22.0,0,2,3,1,11,13,2,1,8,0,21,7,6,0,3,30,33,17,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,10,0,1,9,14,0,1,1,0,0,3,6,8,0,3,12,12,16,5,22,18,8,36,0,0,1,0,17,12,0,5,22,113,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.11879895638309587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791360003965696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655723487285354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207316170546341,0.08512220444876219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360918824220907,0.0,0.07421049810669758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155578370658044,0.0,0.09719807469639236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255067747502216,0.0,0.12356174592888268,0.0,0.0,0.13952256418624914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094104758679143,0.11908335354038035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035504804788676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360320321355495,0.0,0.13837328878888597,0.10210825566474342,0.09736518750810716,0.13421683383254468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493855056495147,0.0,0.13720783848110438,0.0,0.08159857277120472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923290968957836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594751523725213,0.24402738645158226,0.0,0.10773450707313384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717029770572766,0.0,0.268474830260174,0.0,0.093892031736068,0.0,0.0,0.4569723469955387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258741343268287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162129202510841,0.0,0.10629713111666526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15597726121999947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681113066628286,0.0,0.0,0.09700961177185284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070312597869104,0.0,0.2436523057427337,0.0,0.10314841143795518,0.18744008175003274,0.24080445445576334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726723539943233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153200219016266,0.0,0.0,0.11208021071635478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709865438062846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180436511656561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647934928492422,0.0,0.0,0.07839543197843149
mentalhealth,MarinaIsHere20021005,2019/01/13,"Numb After close to a year [May 2017—March 2018] of mental health threatment, and collectively 4 months of inpatient treatment, I finally have reached a point of stability... or so I thought. I figured after almost a year of [March 2018—January 2019] of recovery, I was done with this garbage. Not so much.


I learned the difficult lesson that being numb isn't equivelant to being recovered. Realizing I was numb, as opposed to happy, really tapped into a dark spot of my mind. It triggered multiple layers of anxiety, depression, compulsions, hallucinations, sleep deprivation, etc. I can't get a decent night's sleep any more. I rapidly shift from numb to depressed. 


I finally realized something: maybe it never does get better in my case.",7.506657917760276,9.4183028503937,7.845616797900263,63.94686789151357,63.80314960629922,11.628696412948385,38.52055993000874,11.429527900616536,5.330834470691165,590,31,86,19,9,193,92,127,0.203,0.757,0.04,-0.9578,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,2,10,0,0,6,0,9,7,2,1,1,18,12,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,6,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,4,0,11,2,18,5,3,14,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,3,10,57,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013756082598056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223338888022593,0.0,0.13761819259153527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15910136392548768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098843705113384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574261942796461,0.18409371885455567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006290347865389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3941295232676812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797407294503285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19150019499694887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19121859711936007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807274068930128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812905440548619,0.0,0.18164136098677847,0.0,0.1435894397307203,0.0,0.13224257264157205,0.0,0.1387451160537746,0.0,0.0,0.16881805661498447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700576988212728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524451441498346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600472458842232,0.0,0.0,0.1384909635816684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281550813023855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316912970529521
mentalhealth,stinger1996,2019/01/13,"I think I’m depressed I feel like there’s a black cloud over my head. Everyday - it’s looming. I need to do very precise things to not upset my equilibrium so that my mood doesn’t fall. I don’t think this is normal. I’ve always had mood swings but this has been happening lately.

I exercise at least once if not twice a day some days, I drink heaps of water, I get plenty of sun light, I try and think positively, I journal, I barely drink, I have many hobbies, I study things I’m interested in, I’m financially stable and am saving money, I get 8 hours of sleep every night, I hate my job but I love the stability, I have an amazing girlfriend who I love very much.

But, there’s a black cloud constantly hanging over my head. It strikes in the afternoons most days, when the sun sets. It strikes when I’m trying to sleep and I feel a weird abandoned feeling. I feel overwhelming grief all the time lately, and a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, I feel this strange feeling creeping up on me like I might just lose it and burst out crying any moment. Sometimes my girlfriend will be speaking to me and suddenly my mood shifts - and I’m depressed and I can’t feign excitement about anything. Even if I was just in the middle of doing something. 

I think I’m depressed. 

",2.0164657783161744,4.342745492125985,3.2255118110236225,89.33734100545124,80.29921259842521,5.954936402180498,24.336159903089037,7.1686216300943375,1.0246752271350696,1001,37,203,13,26,323,139,254,0.162,0.677,0.161,-0.1301,1,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,9,21,1,2,12,0,16,11,5,0,2,38,40,16,1,4,9,0,7,2,2,2,1,1,0,0,11,9,3,1,11,3,1,2,5,10,0,1,3,11,34,8,20,34,5,29,0,7,2,2,6,11,0,5,17,122,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466708651944536,0.0,0.0,0.07736859042955227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362433408407428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294668314358485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249727619693016,0.22011981267618366,0.0,0.29397394103973645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229057123813833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514506979988568,0.0,0.09585748121139318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4026843812863251,0.08127845486010228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888193209133427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060785148959953,0.0,0.0,0.11232590229575956,0.23352497253922694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204210995546204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290075926468007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566786441183908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116611535635652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728132045473767,0.0,0.0,0.20536662462735636,0.0,0.0,0.11534654678454748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069369003795287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363521784706926,0.08436020093398472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676694092893484,0.11147201349351388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116304251775376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22770753202435845,0.0,0.0,0.0875869372293367,0.11252302303777637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116959332892282,0.2916009934380169,0.0,0.0,0.06634113577457958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448689853902414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774697276364885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrKahal,2019/01/13,"Self Medicating Making Reality Worse So I’ve struggled with my mental health since I was a teen. I dropped out of High School because of Anxiety (Thankfully, I went back and finished later on in life). I am no stranger to seeking help from professionals and when I began feeling this incredible hopelessness I decided it was time to start seeing a therapist. Our conversation began with me admitting I feel “stuck” in life and have so far been unable to make changes. After a couple month of reliving the past without really finding any “reason” for why it would lead to me feeling the way I do now, I decided it was time to pursue medication for the first time to help me handle whatever the hell I’m dealing with. 

Next doctor was a family doctor at a lovely LGBTQ clinic in the city I live. For the first time ever, I felt like my doctor was listening and understanding me. He was due to retire in a couple months and I felt lucky that I had met him before his time as a doctor was up. I ended up having to go back a couple times so we could chat/do blood tests/ determine the right course of action. He was very honest that he had not had enough experience with mental health issues and so referred me to the specialist in my city for a “psych analysis” to confirm his diagnoses of Moderate Depression, Social Anxiety, and an Eating Disorder. In the meantime, he casually suggested smoking pot to temporarily treat the way I had been feeling. I’ve smoked weed since I was a young teen so the idea was not too shocking ... especially seeing as weed was to be legalized in Canada the following week!

Fast forward 3 months and here I am wide awake at 2:46 am sharing my experience because I’m out of pot and thusly overthinking everything. I just want time to just fly the f^$% by in a dazed high so I can finally meet with someone and get this under control. I still have another month of waiting for my appointment and it’s proven much harder the past couple month knowing /hoping what my life might be like after I’ve been seen by these new doctors. When I’m high things are manageable... but when I’m sober ... nearly unbearable. I’ve progressed to the point of walking around and noticing hard objects like a table leg and thinking to myself “If only I could slip and hit my head on that.” I feel like I’m in a race to see who’s going to get to me first? Mental breakdown or medical attention!?

Anyway, anyone else find themselves in a similar situation? I know I just have to wait a couple more weeks but it feels like a lifetime away. 

P.S : I got in contact with my therapist to do some “maintenance venting” until my appointment date is here so I’m remaining in contact with my support system. 

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mentalhealth,idriveawhitecamry,2019/01/13,"Am I loosing my mind? I smoked pot habitually during my adolescence and I feel like it had laating effects on my mentality.  Sometimes I'll snap into these mindsets where I can't grasp reality I feel like im living in a dream or a simulation.  My mood is everywhere, some days I'm on top of the world and other days I don't want to wake up.  It seems that when I was using nicotine I was much more stable mood wise.  I'm thinking of trying a low dose of lithium and seeing if my mood stabilizes.  Is this the beginning of psychosis or schizophrenia?  Im scared",1.6598377581120936,4.004213088495575,3.9550663716814185,83.47885324483777,81.83185840707966,6.5985250737463135,25.34587020648968,7.793537801064563,1.6177852507374633,441,18,87,8,12,152,76,113,0.058,0.802,0.14,0.8314,0,0,1,0,0,2,8.0,0,0,0,2,2,8,0,1,5,0,8,2,1,2,0,17,18,7,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,3,13,3,10,15,3,13,0,1,1,0,0,9,0,5,6,53,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950209578897879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23130324951539205,0.32680630585358994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4941304476953965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22348965392019499,0.0,0.20197079698099935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305037783617633,0.0,0.2309498282577556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814121670316004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289963833070913,0.0,0.18226640619621812,0.20822515653131646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262175969372741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655950893250544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552911306606909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975473408730418,0.0,0.0,0.1349095552487803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheGospelGuy,2019/01/13,"Obsessive thoughts This just started happening to me recently where when I purchase something such as new a playstation, drone, car, etc., I want to like the way it looks (because I just spent money on it and it doesn't looks bad to begin with) but I get to where the more I try to make myself think it looks cool the more I don't like it the way it looks, it's hard to explain and I'm sure people won't understand this problem but it has been irritating me for the past few months. Does anyone know why this happens and what I can do to stop it?",4.522756005056891,4.688975814159292,5.011908975979772,87.88185840707969,69.61946902654867,8.227054361567639,28.532237673830593,7.957251820313856,1.5380680151706687,429,14,95,5,7,137,70,113,0.12,0.7609999999999999,0.119,-0.2646,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,6,1,7,0,0,1,1,18,25,7,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,1,5,0,3,1,3,3,0,0,3,6,10,4,11,21,4,14,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,0,10,62,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894569971636895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420357385620085,0.10369820284570616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886544921141642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971894432826625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887607598311807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008575280091597,0.0,0.15238621349185535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348866153558592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662154701114552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5714022258632864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355054062871454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578112934343453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642944478653509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239037986461344,0.11793368053256915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627734353404638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679642783034718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309599053680009,0.0,0.0,0.12040557623042275,0.0,0.0,0.14222057237662522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032778391231226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900038211710322,0.0,0.13504928369416494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549433199320795,0.0,0.0,0.177091748658314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033598761672728,0.27005269007253724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534988903703674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Samboisvert88,2019/01/13,"But I don't mean to say it So I started saying the sentence ""I'm schitzo when people are more bipolar than me but i dont mean to say it"" about 3 months ago now, I've tried to figure out the cause and i couldn't find one in particular. I think it's because I would say ""I'm stup**"" every time someone was more bipolar than me . I haven't been able to figure out if it means that I don't have schizophrenia because I am unable to say it mentally I've been looking for a cure for this for so long if someone could please help me. Life has been terrible for me since I say this damned sentence, please help!",1.6671247357293844,3.1901230697674445,3.0704580690627203,93.93646934460888,77.99224806201549,5.621141649048626,23.35517970401691,6.11248444174946,0.3062651162790688,472,15,108,3,11,154,71,129,0.066,0.805,0.129,0.6948,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,3,0,15,3,0,1,0,18,23,8,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,8,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,7,14,0,15,16,2,10,0,0,1,0,8,3,1,2,7,67,22,0,0.13096912193892798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609622437422795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596751222450602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454136533629749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045681868137888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349483550530071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034713388545804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970340474648115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557168345011626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250736404255244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159035515580336,0.10998107701246153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4279913061157234,0.0,0.0,0.13198607064820875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453830361334453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874806653333454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079749860210616,0.0,0.0,0.287529533199526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6249114148888626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833901106544366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219394240159777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927006186027444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391972503710271,0.0,0.0,0.07636914822836798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891943675758048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930367065377324,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,passionfruitclub,2019/01/13,"somethings wrong, this isn’t normal I don’t know where to turn so I’m posting here sorry, my mental health has took a serious decline in the past year and a half I’d say, I’m now at this point where I’m losing it really bad, for example, I find myself getting so angry and upset that I can no longer control myself and I start hurting myself mostly hitting my head into doors and walls and pulling my hair out, I don’t want to do that, it’s like I snap and can’t handle what’s going on anymore, usually followed with shaking, crying and screaming while doing so, I know this isn’t normal and something is very wrong but I’m not sure what to do, I thought with a lot of the big issues I was having in my life which were affecting my mental health now starting to be fixed that it was just a matter of time before I would actually start feeling better but I can see but the frequent ‘episodes’ I’ve had in the past two weeks that maybe I need to do something else, I’ve called help line twice, I’ve been to head space, I’ve been to centrecare but nothing said ever helps in the slightest not even temporarily, feels like a waste of time, I don’t have anyone I can talk to, not even a distant friend anymore but I feel the need to tell someone, sorry. I wasn’t always like this ",2.8393506493506493,4.296002545454549,4.018160173160176,88.64545454545456,74.68181818181819,6.24069264069264,24.31385281385281,6.655083550727371,0.7475489177489179,1008,31,209,8,21,329,143,264,0.147,0.7759999999999999,0.077,-0.8981,1,0,3,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,3,12,15,0,2,12,0,26,6,3,2,2,41,50,17,0,6,9,0,4,3,1,1,3,3,1,0,14,12,0,1,7,0,0,5,11,9,0,3,10,8,24,6,23,37,2,35,0,2,1,0,8,14,0,2,18,134,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.10265726426653952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753247365047588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20865465311558548,0.07355630809472657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783524390576486,0.0,0.0,0.0895150445967863,0.0,0.0,0.09303834921402074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741807359606977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798757265497392,0.0,0.0,0.11555415294055865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787873797398603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896347894620306,0.09515686404819906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595725518174376,0.07515288016106761,0.0,0.0,0.09614830871592288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127507355561818,0.0,0.05496118012549642,0.0,0.059785976691677886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159252941762314,0.22363934759651846,0.0,0.0,0.14102289285662364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261574756378898,0.0,0.0,0.1097985157028619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562722835164126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430387310450383,0.15418207247654053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768872623552855,0.0,0.08943487311111441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056846979824218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120280119644405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600473906812554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20614178470322408,0.10093952299868494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20084520653414387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944532956283292,0.0,0.10074981087442887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673920016308786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006659976947528,0.08365701288403939,0.0,0.0,0.08382852556333184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913322182320642,0.24295776569329616,0.0,0.23551924119235254,0.22337729777487486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914708894663683,0.0,0.0,0.08455350145348978,0.09194696442634424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351480333519852,0.1226826330593416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687792796571525,0.0,0.11442431419286725,0.1027623505653512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585982198851293,0.08679868342105915,0.06204801716853494,0.0,0.08438282538196047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472905220238171,0.2300331852686173,0.0,0.06774352926087243
mentalhealth,PixelBased_,2019/01/13,"I feel like I'm going insane Background:
I am 18, I have pretty bad ADHD, I just recently quit smoking/vaping I had a pretty heavy dependence, My aunt is a schizophrenic, I consume drugs like lsd every so often.
Problem:
I am constantly in a cloud state where I can't focus whatsover, any time I feel stressed out my cloud of disassociation gets worse
What do you think is the cause of the cloud of disassociation? I think it's the nicotine but ya never lnow",2.777815230961302,5.255153797752811,4.574531835205993,79.8786766541823,78.43820224719101,7.1016229712858925,24.495630461922595,8.167268648758528,1.6963997503121102,364,13,68,7,9,123,63,89,0.122,0.782,0.096,-0.2822,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,4,5,0,1,6,0,8,2,0,2,1,12,15,2,0,1,2,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,2,14,2,5,14,0,9,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,6,41,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559050260873284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480227324705713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779081332283672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187416489351285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301057717160707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469355845667827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940589469295734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533143576596214,0.15211993606717747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124911232874256,0.0,0.1210151751012094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805737990408624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642276592628214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332604137730952,0.0,0.20374887158346466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264812871883952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21024642073248687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439149273079933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728787386230877,0.0,0.0,0.12416340037495993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21699771481519886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,acid-vogue,2019/01/13,"Tips on how to turn your empathy down/off? I’m super empathetic and feel everything that happens around me as if it were happening to me directly. I hate it so much, it causes me so much heartache and suffering. 

I know there’s no on/off switch but I need to learn how to turn it down of distance myself from things. I’m a complete mess at the moment because of the passing of a friend of someone close to me. I can feel her hurting, the families hurting, I can feel that gut wrenching feeling of realising of never seeing that person again. It floods me at random times and I can’t deal with it any more. 
My mental health is going down the drain 

Please, if you’re similar and have been able to rein in your empathy, please help me. ",2.3075510204081624,4.460774959183677,3.676428571428573,87.40607142857144,78.31972789115646,6.921088435374148,24.785714285714285,7.957251820313856,1.4471306122448988,577,21,117,10,14,189,93,147,0.105,0.767,0.128,0.5346,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,1,7,7,1,0,6,0,7,2,1,3,1,23,22,12,0,3,3,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,10,7,0,1,6,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,2,5,17,2,22,20,3,14,0,3,1,0,7,8,0,3,4,80,27,1,0.15833253359229965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767155229668968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094952334361469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651804288842084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265112670295376,0.0,0.0,0.16600864906901386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632338897754413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422990718520569,0.0,0.1492618214361895,0.0,0.320230745378402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232732269257937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998402761517238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800258731088968,0.0,0.0,0.1563205972367192,0.0,0.1683000792455522,0.0,0.0,0.10612695976035062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389965038438137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701541970885149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956195365170053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327852603302977,0.11740156743444174,0.1221158107974605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824986116227747,0.0,0.34760315103372996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617052989083374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415464190426352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518909988805528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232497361417644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444406604337155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,akitotazaki,2019/01/13,"Can anyone tell me whats wrong with me? Late last year I decided to further my studies. I did that out of my own decision of wanting to upgrade myself. I was hyped up the beginning of the semester. But soon after, everything went downhill, I didn’t attend classes. I performed very poorly in class,  I stayed locked in house and became a hermit. Not studying, not socializing, just laying there on the sofa bed day in and day out. But I managed to drag myself out of it once in awhile to attend some classes and to do little assignments. I didn’t feel anything, I just feel empty, no desire, no drive, just devoid of emotions and spirit. Fast forward to today, I lose interest in everything, even studies, food and socializing but I did manage to do what is expected of me for my studies. But I think I might fail my last paper, and I haven’t the slightest care about whether I pass or not. And now it’s been weeks, I haven’t eaten proper food, haven’t had proper rest. I survived on cereals, occasional bread and hot choc. Although my body is demanding for more, but I just let it be. I waited until the pang of hunger goes away while laying on the sofa bed and continued to just stare at the wall. I want to drag myself out of it but I don’t want to drag myself out of it. Why is this happening.",3.916582019250459,5.210910373540859,5.2043293057546585,81.84197624411223,71.72373540856032,7.90079868933033,27.144992832275253,8.371475516178862,1.87648326848249,1014,35,195,16,19,338,138,257,0.097,0.836,0.067,-0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,4,10,5,0,0,8,0,20,6,1,0,0,44,32,20,0,5,16,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,9,15,5,1,5,0,1,6,11,3,0,0,9,4,33,2,41,20,4,42,1,2,1,0,3,20,0,3,17,148,42,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481904313397722,0.0,0.12336137448963408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084334480176713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651380938379842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528410276990998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335630285854494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862613632045936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901271060907058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694549903535693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515958102955229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625382960741594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256300261704226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297351354115362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443897854483545,0.1691025663912651,0.0,0.0,0.1532909169344861,0.0,0.0,0.15024703197000014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677085214197843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590285222422785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596469508548266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30562431705397003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978180527936742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102605445928034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605488707869886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209509846452026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368966275153087,0.2652585735919785,0.0,0.12024702221443732,0.0,0.0,0.1389660640736905,0.1352685036038758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390068366309166,0.0,0.09653573023946138
mentalhealth,lumify06,2019/01/13,"nobody believes my mental problems look at my post history. i don't know what to do. there's no way of changing because the network is monopolized by a driver. best case scenario, we drop all the bodies and move.",3.109390243902439,5.549091097560973,4.524573170731706,80.8800304878049,77.04878048780488,6.051219512195122,29.76219512195122,7.1686216300943375,2.0005073170731698,169,8,29,2,4,56,38,41,0.197,0.71,0.093,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,0,1,5,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,4,5,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626610035662744,0.0,0.0,0.3442606713576177,0.320665611761346,0.0,0.0,0.3394074755183688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32324120142742024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16792738865209053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565928372573003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079318848844249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247611565215395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29264132485961625,0.0,0.0,0.2923789632847553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24253873302641935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pointedloser,2019/01/13,"lexapro: update i posted awhile ago that i was going off of lexapro, but there were some complications behind it (hello if you remember me!). anywho, i am officially off of it and have been for the past four weeks now. i haven’t really had any symptoms from going off and i was wondering if this is normal? i weened myself off from 10 mg to 5 mg and did that for a few weeks. i noticed while i was still on 10 mg, i would sometimes miss a few days and feel horrible withdraw symptoms. such as lightheaded and almost like a “high” feeling, very dizzy and sometimes disoriented. like i said, being completely off of it for the past four weeks i’ve had no symptoms. i felt lightheaded a few times, but that’s it. is this normal? should i be expecting something? or am i really just that lucky.",3.363661338661341,5.259153318181821,4.507922077922082,83.8423226773227,74.25974025974024,7.8553446553446555,25.48251748251749,8.617729084823388,1.81281978021978,617,21,121,12,13,202,90,154,0.108,0.8190000000000001,0.073,-0.7392,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,0,18,3,0,0,0,25,26,13,0,7,6,0,3,2,0,2,3,1,0,0,10,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,10,4,16,3,17,12,4,22,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,7,14,91,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075494900058035,0.0,0.1477057032859509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100308969425309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546569743688234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512900707746907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916668034418973,0.0,0.14162865373797828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766183606129725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584792542549866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412771907179325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28904863669398057,0.0,0.16793627610852616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28162186147167506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126973588763436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899192343297214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670952622841515,0.0,0.14031174845803418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135571342299927,0.29177392052442924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779828394434025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4599448652536401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601179009603274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170769330346815,0.0,0.0,0.35496065010046096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996369567460622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478385394610347,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlueLotus421,2019/01/13,"Help. Don't know if it was a nightmare or if it is something I wish were just a nightmare. I have been haunted by this what I don't know is a memory of nightmare from when I was younger that I was taken advantage of, I woke up from sleep while in the middle of it and remember the person who it was and I remember saying no and then I guess from what I remember fading out back into sleep? Then waking up in the morning again. I just thought of it as being a dream but I remain disturbed by it because it was so real but I just have to keep telling myself that it was a dream. I never have talked about this with anyone except for my therapist. It still gets in my head constantly and I just shrivel and freeze. I've tried digging into that moment trying to see if I could get some more recollection. This has been haunting me for 4 years now, whether it was a dream or if it actually happened but I just am telling myself its a dream to protect myself from what would then be a suppressed memory. Last night I was put under an uncomfortable position bc of reasons that may be too complicated to explain;when I went to sleep, I feel what seemed to be from that same night of the previous memory/dream but a different thing that happened where my mouth was being covered and I was screaming. I'm just so tired of not knowing if I'll ever know the truth but more importantly how to get over this. All I recall is that short snip and now this new part. I don't know what to do.",3.3822391304347796,4.764259250000002,4.522289855072465,85.87186956521742,73.16666666666666,7.484057971014493,26.04347826086957,8.04050195162591,1.472469565217391,1165,39,240,17,23,382,147,300,0.075,0.838,0.087,-0.0957,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,19,4,0,1,15,0,33,7,6,2,4,60,54,29,0,8,21,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,31,11,0,3,13,4,0,2,6,2,0,0,17,5,29,2,38,29,6,35,0,0,1,0,7,13,0,11,20,197,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.11638327773081965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339131473068695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170572271878813,0.0,0.07270148892421753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888070550758815,0.0,0.09522163213128043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460423021213715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788002013925783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030284932122995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869296538338838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313814073597381,0.0,0.21092738003251785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239802833618013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993933319283704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060062462301295,0.0,0.0,0.3277185478943309,0.09721509043561663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198281482382296,0.11518474432546855,0.0,0.2238400958851096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914997789256386,0.0,0.0,0.10413566675490192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989204306517495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574716328226888,0.0,0.12262200978727665,0.0,0.0,0.4053044715037827,0.0,0.0,0.09484255628841448,0.0,0.0,0.09503700144464446,0.10857236347094136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3580467560367323,0.0,0.0,0.09181432125486952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524341696958208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585891181772167,0.20848186777221508,0.0,0.0,0.13847328964959446,0.07923289730709318,0.0,0.0,0.09468133230161747,0.0,0.13707503113806804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194320957919642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105577998001919,0.0,0.0,0.1371463209991702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472086314758254,0.0,0.0,0.07680132562234887
mentalhealth,N_DoubleU,2019/01/13,"Learning to find Happiness - My Lesson from 2018 Here is my last reflection on the most important lessons I learned from 2018, **finding happiness**. 

[https://theextrovertedintrovert.ca/lessons-from-2018-part-3-3/](https://theextrovertedintrovert.ca/lessons-from-2018-part-3-3/)

I've posted 2 lessons prior on **showing vulnerability** and **becoming selfish.** (should be in my profile)

I believe in the monotony of life, some of us grow complacent and become content with the routines in our life.

These routines stopped me from recognizing how much potential I have and limited my growth as a human.

 To anyone looking for a unique viewpoint and a change of perspective, take a few minutes and let me know what you think. 

​

Thank you!

​

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mentalhealth,HorrorTime35,2019/01/13,"My girlfriends parents arent doing any goods to her My girlfriend is mentaly not very stable, as she told me that when she is completely alone, she starts to cry because the memory of her old school comes back were she got bullied for many years and also did self harm on her arm at that time. Her parents, which argue very loudly almost every evening, which didn't help her that much at that time of the bullying. Her mother noticed the self harm and searched for a therapist, which didn't work because most of the therapist in the area had a waiting time of a year (that search was 2-3 years ago). My girlfriend also get's really pressoured by her mother to learn for her drivers licence everyday, even though she has big problemes in school that she doesn't agnolage and still has to learn for tests and in school, this already brought her to a breaking point many time but she cant tell that to her mother because she shrugs it off as, being too lazy.
A few weeks back I was on vacation at my girlfriends place, we were cuddling in bed while her parents had an argument again. This triggerd my panic attack (my parents also had loud arguments and I cant stand a loud volume most of the times) which ended up in me screaming for silence, she was calming me down and then closed all the doors to make it a bit more quiet. That was the moment where I thought that I couldnt just sit around anymore. I told my girlfriend many times to start and look for a therapist again but she still thinks that the waiting is going to be very long.

I want to bring this to get mother now as she didn't tell her anything about my panic attack, her feeling of being pressoured from all the learning and and bullying back at her old school. How should I tell this to get mother? ",9.210347826086958,6.807143542028989,8.053043478260872,78.2917391304348,61.40579710144928,10.707246376811597,36.91304347826087,8.447377352677275,2.907208695652173,1402,48,274,13,15,429,166,345,0.15,0.83,0.02,-0.9927,5,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,1,21,11,3,2,19,0,28,2,1,2,2,36,48,22,0,4,4,9,1,0,5,1,0,5,2,2,20,13,0,2,6,0,0,4,9,9,0,0,18,7,44,2,45,25,8,58,0,0,1,1,49,21,0,3,30,196,64,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042005715333463,0.0,0.0795491424743241,0.0822773896970464,0.08766562167545597,0.1905879099907833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402291396168113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878457738484755,0.0,0.0,0.06537354909611612,0.07071973803767817,0.0,0.18075224853864044,0.0,0.18325672715036348,0.0,0.1452803219278371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672949434268253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843177975964637,0.0832928547443815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726270867722083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703615501754414,0.0,0.0,0.1049406643679301,0.0,0.06693285261260933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04016798689265832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451464515467202,0.0,0.045148409938262316,0.06663172387072737,0.06353658914674687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05324793312489918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030318831628643,0.06671081484991093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053027788476286884,0.2416235014023906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839861050632336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904446237184346,0.16672088829138942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641486302340024,0.3528413406607635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299941283485639,0.0,0.07509785327590628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601474419233144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050892230662754764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32159597691741504,0.0,0.0,0.165749527426583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245814229259077,0.0,0.12688409809847218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20830600111667635,0.0,0.0,0.2767129586530161,0.0,0.05090287703375796,0.07805082676638431,0.06306764203813292,0.27793770961876313,0.0,0.0,0.15181943040133272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19664256192075846,0.04685662876142827,0.0,0.06372314383590005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05783432580936272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347307841975644
mentalhealth,Justme9925,2019/01/13,"Advice I’d appreciate some advice...
I’m suicidal and I don’t have anyone.
I feel empty, like I have nothing left in me. I have nothing to give anyone else and I essentially comprable to an empty shell. I need to get though tonight, any suggestions on how I what I can do to help me get through the night",0.5253225806451631,2.952523387096776,2.848629032258067,88.44294354838709,89.32258064516128,5.680645161290323,22.266129032258068,7.1686216300943375,0.9675741935483866,238,9,49,4,8,81,40,62,0.133,0.738,0.13,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,0,6,12,4,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,10,1,7,12,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,3,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4437575593584787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440745576563145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175289381113932,0.2326480994375713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967810561885487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480751785662464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372572198719289,0.2178150472558536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521924175438965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466995482227953,0.0,0.0,0.11092923461719988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836088032332278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21307886853292504,0.0,0.4357371975489457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24836496833199775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22308366390509332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Charlie_29,2019/01/13,"I feel guilty about my mental health improving  

Hello everyone,

So I have/had a pretty severe anxiety disorder that reached its peak just over a year ago, essentially I constantly felt like I was dying and there was nothing I could do about it and I was going to drop dead any second, on top of this I had all the classic health anxiety and generalised anxiety symptoms, plus a few OCD like behaviours. 

I went to GP and tried medications until I found one that worked and went to therapy, about a month ago I stopped my meds due to gaining 20kg on the pills which made me suicidal and brought out some other mental health issues that were overshadowed by the anxiety but related to it. On the meds I was much better, my anxiety was still higher than 'normal' but I can cope with it 90% of the time I'm fine. Since I have stopped the meds I feel the same as I did on then pretty ok. I feel guilty that I feel ok, I expected it to go back to me calling the ambulance every day convinced I was having a stroke but it hasn't yet. I'm anxious about the fact I'm not anxious, I feel like I should be anxious, I feel like I should be 'sicker'. I feel like I'm meant to be anxious, I have been anxious my whole life. I don't know why I'm not as bad anymore, now that I stopped meds I should go back to how I was because I didn't find therapy helpful so I don't see how that changed anything, my therapist thinks maybe its because I have changed my circumstances in my life that could have been causing me stress but I don't feel like much has changed. I'm also in uni I study 6-8 hours a day on top of uni I would do anything to get a perfect grade so I think im definitely under more pressure than I was so I don't understand why I'm not losing my mind.

 I know I should be happy i'm less anxious and I am but I feel like its wrong almost like I'm meant to be anxious. I am definitely not mentally healthy I have other issues but my anxiety was the biggest issue and now I'm not anxious I almost feel like I failed at being sick or I somehow wasn't actually ever sick it makes no sense. ",2.303942528735636,3.8372062390804618,4.042040229885057,87.6048994252874,76.26436781609196,7.408045977011494,26.33620689655172,8.167268648758528,1.585862068965517,1634,62,353,28,36,550,188,435,0.14,0.648,0.213,0.9869,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,8,21,22,0,2,17,2,46,12,0,5,4,71,85,27,3,9,13,0,12,9,0,5,12,0,0,0,20,11,0,3,20,0,0,6,13,6,0,2,24,13,59,16,37,48,9,43,0,2,1,0,3,14,0,5,31,229,79,3,0.0,0.0,0.054786053246750656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953219149090864,0.0,0.11243530326099813,0.0,0.0,0.04489637640156431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038178178452928924,0.0,0.2576887876239315,0.5073917619382112,0.055677330861322864,0.0,0.0,0.09239942241039246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633877144315576,0.046875848328358914,0.06844673428999813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965263774022589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057326798466183576,0.0,0.0,0.05767283565973291,0.17817094401494932,0.0,0.0,0.06066906975028179,0.0,0.08964891709361711,0.0,0.0,0.07241330917985084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058266064189166,0.0,0.06434307895754121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078324517788343,0.047301676344603256,0.05364565590256188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838685400736753,0.24064520266938025,0.053904691150105065,0.0,0.05131235863853532,0.0,0.0,0.06155631064694792,0.0,0.0,0.029331642162620457,0.0,0.09571960813026067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059763722791334815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902752366865388,0.0,0.0,0.03763049683943344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528811684913965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064250679016494,0.17579157317380034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170785413489719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930887263416014,0.24685132492316106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280803280848306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312249105008714,0.03747491986174322,0.0,0.05640173184430896,0.0,0.2494424186512289,0.05655670416355664,0.16973243008589614,0.0,0.05668696026981885,0.0,0.044811648739922015,0.0,0.08254099639626779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05500679797879707,0.05386933035103352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0380429665144418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142322770402724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04473754583197321,0.0,0.0,0.0634239702422764,0.0,0.04644086943147463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04483471350211173,0.14081054629054346,0.06430995462488022,0.0,0.0,0.061409742395001736,0.0,0.0,0.05835256556073998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840550798801145,0.06518466542540449,0.0,0.07194647532492464,0.0,0.0,0.032736588663562445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03811642650018821,0.0,0.0,0.058445332381518035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408755664548433,0.10131803131268184,0.06268003445790256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04087171626878256,0.0,0.0,0.03988134558513988,0.0613819705146471,0.0,0.03615331684246602
mentalhealth,jehova505,2019/01/14,"OCD symptoms after a bad panic attack on weed? Hi everyone, in May I had an awful panic attack on weed and ever since then I’ve been experiencing extreme anxiety and OCD symptoms. I’ve always had pretty bad anxiety but it was always something I could manage, never got to the point where I had obsessions and that sort of stuff. Welp, unfortunately since that day I’ve been dealing with constant obsessions and I think intrusive thoughts that basically ruin my entire day and kill my mood and bring me extreme anxiety to the point that it almost brings me to tears when I think about them. 
  
   My main obsession is the fear of going into psychosis and experiencing schizophrenia, along with others that I don’t even like talking about cause they’re so out of character for me and they make me extremely anxious. I’ve never had this mindset in my life but ever since that day it feels like my brain hasn’t been able to relax or even think clearly, I think of something and instead of letting it go like I used to be able to and not think about it I transfix over them which make me develop it into an obsession. 

  Has anyone experienced this? And if so, what has helped you get over it. Like I said I’ve always had anxiety but not to this level and it feels extremely foreign to me which makes it hard to find ways to cope with it. I feel like I lost my soul that day and now I’m left with and anxious neurotic mess. I’ve also been experiencing dp/dr since that day but it’s gotten a lot better. Unfortunately I can’t see a psychiatrist right now, if not I would’ve a long time ago. I just want to feel like my normal self again. Any help is greatly appreciated! ",5.820061349693256,6.228083797546012,6.620987730061351,76.62546932515339,66.85276073619632,9.46478527607362,30.10368098159509,9.3871,2.527476564417177,1322,45,253,24,20,438,160,326,0.202,0.6829999999999999,0.115,-0.9774,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,3,2,17,25,3,7,9,1,21,4,1,5,5,61,47,26,1,5,11,0,5,6,0,1,3,1,0,1,27,22,0,0,11,1,0,4,8,15,0,0,15,11,32,9,35,28,2,39,1,2,1,0,11,15,0,7,25,167,59,1,0.16652068886085158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380527169585553,0.0,0.08337320801523651,0.0,0.0,0.06658326735987759,0.20783782923972735,0.0,0.0,0.05661988933155668,0.0,0.2547757423827657,0.18812098018312545,0.0,0.05821756872518685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944132328639335,0.0,0.0,0.13903781962499062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363700856858944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294608023349372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553130884746593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997485355003673,0.0,0.06647661007180779,0.0,0.0,0.26848017100593285,0.0858377591583135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099853444985724,0.15062749656399493,0.0,0.07955882714694583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369103523785254,0.16839572734983654,0.17844362009189887,0.0,0.0,0.07609844642108977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043500093520909805,0.0,0.09463754495040264,0.0,0.06659090341822509,0.09179482366938134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745849146113536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161530763795556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211523506595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046260784013753,0.08513934324103323,0.058809243572124574,0.24406079187756996,0.0,0.0,0.07368278477068392,0.0,0.0,0.09088850136529203,0.07078496741665515,0.0,0.0,0.1667307793034381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843102092432826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157745969684553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19537614949146967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574158752167754,0.0,0.0,0.08470570291988029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110387921679061,0.07919965398036129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634771475791665,0.0,0.08685869764733167,0.0,0.0,0.27549526920602896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281957617498692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531317450995837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307875535942632,0.0,0.06692151100738337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667493340282904,0.0,0.06609941320703606,0.04854977639933473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191020494099949,0.0,0.0,0.04910910834620491,0.06608818595884022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059145759827390426,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rivetingrosies,2019/01/14,Bros my mood swings and impulsivity are becoming a problem What the hell do I do about it? I’m making very poor choices because of this and idk what to do about it. ,5.078823529411763,4.940550999999999,6.310588235294119,80.09764705882355,68.41176470588235,9.15294117647059,31.70588235294117,8.841846274778883,2.3200470588235294,130,5,28,2,2,44,27,34,0.309,0.691,0.0,-0.902,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,6,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31980670637899106,0.5794074132610381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501914537521482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5019955487529729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4328708060892224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MajesticPotato15,2019/01/14,"I'm just so depressed... I really dont know what else to do. I'm exhausted. I'm sorry I cant write anything else, this is me grasping with dying hands.",-0.6059090909090905,1.4596034848484862,2.6456818181818207,90.78852272727272,89.9090909090909,5.724242424242425,20.37121212121212,7.1686216300943375,0.6728848484848484,117,4,26,2,4,42,24,33,0.13699999999999998,0.863,0.0,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,5,8,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,8,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801783316284981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29324686845054715,0.0,0.3533547771017971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990290613471939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.568839072885576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871137629313324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181142140375312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3811290133861245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,subshop7199,2019/01/14,"What do you think about telling your employer you have PTSD? I've been diagnosed with PTSD. I've been going to therapy every week for about a year now. My manager knows I have weekly ""doctor's appointments"" but he doesn't know what it's exactly for. He's been very understanding about having to leave early once a week for these appointments. For the past few months, PTSD has really been affecting my memory, and my manager has noticed my forgetfulness. I've been debating whether or not I should have a talk with him and let him know that I have PTSD and that it's been affecting my memory, especially at work. There's days I come in and can't even remember anyone's name if my life depended on it. I forget to labor transfer on the time clock when I move between departments. I forget simple things like circling numbers on the paperwork I have to do when I'm checking in incoming shipments. Circling the numbers is where he's been noticing my forgetfulness the most. I don't want him to think I don't care about my job or something, but I also don't want him to think I'm just using ptsd as an excuse. I'm not sure what I should do. Has anyone told your employer you have ptsd, and if so, what was the result of it? Were they understanding? Did you feel like you had a target on your back afterwards? I know that a lot of people don't know much about ptsd and will assume we are a danger to others, when in reality we are actually a danger to ourselves. I'm afraid he might think I'm a danger to others. He's a very understanding guy, so he probably won't think that, but the fear is still there. ",5.695966551893754,5.765837753894083,6.62200032792261,77.67749631087064,67.09968847352025,10.496212493851454,29.667322511887196,10.307518312809881,2.8171520249221174,1273,41,255,30,19,425,147,321,0.113,0.861,0.026,-0.9788,3,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,2,8,1,1,19,9,3,2,17,0,40,3,0,5,2,57,66,21,0,6,11,0,1,2,0,5,3,0,0,1,16,11,0,0,16,0,1,4,9,5,0,0,12,1,36,4,32,48,4,30,0,0,0,0,27,9,0,9,19,175,52,9,0.0,0.0,0.08107543782938295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644014594947101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618485893816564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388444943166299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470699937837899,0.0,0.0,0.07156724844245628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358061402953028,0.0,0.0,0.08432584725611776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503730825616672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054874464940957456,0.0,0.06999964210654158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348964540467992,0.04200843975528748,0.059353351238522124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04721706029248799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226362375374634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244544549064467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282967559720692,0.0,0.0,0.08797118062254622,0.0,0.08495633535678677,0.05868283250491915,0.08117872690769791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063281440924116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813621013620386,0.0,0.0,0.06631476126017845,0.08830235388607273,0.0610743704384093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18917739327185173,0.0,0.08847895339622575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931057374278823,0.057598164832391975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957577467677283,0.0,0.6798237736347675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322405654835745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411500266495212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639601018280562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634889377351245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830321315583139,0.0,0.0,0.06677766253881623,0.07261678412346269,0.0,0.09501079346731192,0.0,0.05519557418309425,0.26617595362169666,0.0,0.0,0.04844541816116596,0.0,0.0,0.07938781463880289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25947192566913513,0.0,0.07175563322408215,0.0,0.13710167150187966,0.0980070956366548,0.0,0.1999286040399398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060484230838920565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053501681874869915
mentalhealth,Skeletune,2019/01/14,"I think I had a bad relapse into depression tonight and I'm not sure how to go back to my doctor. Long story short, last year I had one of the worst years of my life.  I had been dealing with depression since I was 14 and I finally went out and found a great doctor who gave me the things I needed to cope and understand what was causing my depression and anxiety.  But tonight, I had a series of bad things happen and I finally broke down and fell back into some bad habits.  I haven't been to my doctor in a long time because after I started feeling okay I just stopped scheduling appointments.  Is that normal?  Will the doctor think it's weird if I call them after so many months?  I don't know what to do.",2.723125000000003,4.395515062500003,3.9219444444444456,88.31750000000002,75.45833333333334,7.3000000000000025,24.5,8.07648339933343,1.327858333333333,555,18,116,9,12,181,87,144,0.24,0.71,0.05,-0.9811,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,5,12,0,0,7,1,13,5,0,2,1,28,26,11,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,11,0,1,6,0,0,3,3,9,0,1,11,1,20,3,16,14,2,27,0,4,0,0,5,6,0,2,18,81,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628250123323023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355703314689066,0.3152633507643001,0.0767230445622458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851705954872972,0.0,0.0,0.12929281685245722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297560603646716,0.3252089174118967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5152918821181349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363856179789945,0.0,0.0,0.27574680058984496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799891591156171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152909812510788,0.0,0.0,0.13876101610761865,0.0,0.0,0.11129751960445694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916932548707591,0.10259264048071001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888985900117852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22276415326520074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760221356468096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004601945978637,0.0,0.0,0.09332354262884444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331600788060955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528594520817194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411263391484044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908430558256411,0.0,0.0,0.10522453632446664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862149364317345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723148867623774,0.16129192107437973,0.0,0.0,0.07338993677065553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310246248349564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667341517057198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620993356629922
mentalhealth,noname1093,2019/01/14,"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME alright first off i have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ADD and ODD but i just think there is more to it. I feel there is so much more wrong with me because my head is just a big jumble of thoughts. Constantly i have suicidal thoughts (which my parents and doctor knows about) but they think it has decreased a little bit and honestly they have but now they are back more often. The suicidal thoughts yeah suck but i wont give into them  because i cannot hurt my family like that and i am too scared to go through with it. I feel like in the future i will though. Like just say whatever and let go. Im turning 18 this year and that makes everything worse. Past that i feel so messed up i DO NOT know myself enough to explain myself. My mind is like always screaming at me i can never focus on anything because im trapped in my head. I never try anymore in school well i have good grades in all but one class but still i cant escape my mind. I can be fine one minute and for no reason want to die or have terrible anxiety. I feel as if i am not connected with the world. Like one time i was walking with my friends in school and i was so deep in my head i forgot where i was. I always feel as if i was someone else for a second and then back to like feeling again. Now i want to admit myself to a psychiatric hospital but i just cant have my parents worry more than they do and also the cost. I also need a therapist but i feel since my parents found like nobody that covered their insurance that they gave up. They ask me randomly if i think i still need to talk to someone and each time i say yes. Because i really do. I feel like it would help a lot talking about what is going on in my head instead of keeping it to myself and trapped inside.",2.1360869565217366,3.8675645652173967,3.4526086956521773,90.791847826087,77.26086956521739,6.665217391304347,24.0,7.531066641456977,0.9934521739130432,1392,46,301,19,32,454,172,368,0.177,0.67,0.153,-0.9505,3,2,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,8,1,26,23,1,1,10,3,34,6,4,2,3,75,68,33,3,8,18,3,8,8,1,3,2,3,0,0,14,21,0,2,20,0,1,4,9,9,1,5,11,11,60,14,40,52,10,40,0,2,0,0,22,19,1,7,25,226,74,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271778150666415,0.1276867213480001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739253391523513,0.0,0.07609298423553845,0.0,0.0,0.06314012978063763,0.0,0.07172978107817875,0.0,0.0,0.11799730110452558,0.0,0.1870892944302744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376647136833193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291508405083932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608521517032909,0.0778767170891727,0.07963094917132561,0.0,0.0,0.07853376648533841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409591469392494,0.0,0.0,0.07927993629689584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895765847029553,0.0,0.07233178383589163,0.0,0.31036551516583644,0.109628169608728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526430500053063,0.0,0.08412765668172383,0.059279415037861265,0.0,0.0,0.07360393358218266,0.13081788440306694,0.06435532032259335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149778787191343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05142877286826991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213829096155144,0.0,0.1657575620742649,0.0,0.0,0.0681988570862351,0.0,0.0,0.08433476783560158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845898628707072,0.0,0.29988113750455564,0.07690103273402303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523090942986579,0.0,0.0,0.051216149232624006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494564511059733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640348271373305,0.11378482073921667,0.11835383414937975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559774583196188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555901624127023,0.0,0.07324500511436001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915355053078169,0.07888856759397757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203344938684155,0.07681753350323038,0.15530449241513564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634697154275534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002178943594114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254923484814527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785469014705998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334118903345735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908644940197306,0.0,0.1474914995387758,0.07538430144384428,0.18273900491734613,0.08948075227622643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052092882254323104,0.08345740107906355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051164154266507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898716595993923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792042033677185,0.07819179687914657,0.05450495837274782,0.16777877971021524,0.0,0.049409943436552715
mentalhealth,JustALivingHuman,2019/01/14,"Suicide I wouldn’t encite suicide but if someone was about to kill me I wouldn’t necessarily care.

I’m not going to kill myself, it’s illogical in many ways that I’m not going to state here, but I’m not worried about dying. 

The only reason death would scare me would be if it was extremely painful way of death.

Would this be considered suicidial?",3.364782608695652,5.4014387391304375,4.6283333333333365,82.36250000000003,74.65217391304348,7.498550724637681,25.99275362318841,8.344100000000001,1.7705536231884065,279,10,54,5,6,92,43,69,0.397,0.534,0.069,-0.9884,0,0,0,0,0,4,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,1,1,0,9,1,0,1,0,13,15,4,7,7,7,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,2,0,5,1,7,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19731612173921576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20085296323585847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21997443623811064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4282232154942896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19620843633825247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718782975284125,0.20592892683469588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19898045586009871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937566912507621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639768329098449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4233795058318106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30722925992879835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19653850021996103,0.0,0.4124332001867789,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShoulderDeepInACow,2019/01/14,"[Vent] I have only been working full time for 7 months and I am already sick and tired of being alive. I feel so defeated.

Not only is life pointless and terrible but I am also forced to work 40 hours a week just to survive.

I spend 9 hours at work 1 hour commuting which leaves me with 6 (ish) hours a day to do my own thing. (Not really considering cooking, cleaning, showering, etc.) 

I just don’t want to do this anymore. I’ll work like a dog for the next 45 years so I can hopefully retire, watch everyone I love die and then eventually die myself.

I’m so sick of this fucking bullshit.

I love my parents but I fucking hate them for forcing this shit on me. ",2.1497512437810933,4.015885194029853,3.91126865671642,86.90978855721393,77.65671641791045,7.153233830845772,26.092039800995025,8.07648339933343,1.6163950248756218,512,20,107,9,12,172,91,134,0.272,0.593,0.135,-0.9762,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,6,6,10,4,0,4,0,10,10,1,0,0,14,19,11,2,2,6,1,1,1,0,0,4,0,2,0,5,5,1,0,1,1,1,0,3,6,0,0,1,2,16,4,12,17,3,14,0,1,1,4,4,3,3,1,12,65,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491259139335157,0.1080681941178449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401857971048348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715152736570267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28049962335304224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071233891366856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912821969870986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832881170241238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498620713032571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334188026346433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422051940585378,0.5323268756143745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308949037414048,0.0,0.0,0.0954505388857755,0.06602061368417618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439309954239692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786424969917703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371864746201973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20555400399715287,0.0,0.0,0.15005251315720405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657156893034855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387151411738018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977834018909213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879887647963146,0.1553189293235925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797067020611544,0.0,0.10839793161366464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39352241064251015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702314029956854
mentalhealth,Mad_Echidna,2019/01/14,"Non stop fake/imaginary conversations/arguments/scenarios Hi, I find myself having non stop conversations and arguments that happened in the past, also lots of fake scenarios and my mind just keeps repeating and expanding these interactions with people that never happened, i feel like it's real and I can get scared by threats and react emotionally to everything and it is stuck with me often and can last for months, it's hard to stop it from happening.  


Does anyone know what is going on and how I can stop this? ",7.489677419354838,8.718056623655919,7.584032258064518,68.29604838709679,63.40860215053763,11.791397849462365,32.704301075268816,11.538034831475384,4.2618688172043,418,16,68,13,6,135,64,93,0.261,0.7390000000000001,0.0,-0.9675,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,1,1,0,6,0,0,2,1,26,15,10,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,5,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,2,7,1,10,14,1,12,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,10,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374555052307053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018523030976977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041677287454938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19334627014307929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544781802308928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869096722771823,0.12279390367130165,0.0,0.0,0.1570987849476704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980225167055515,0.0,0.09768559031987324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4559891368132349,0.0,0.1539742269642724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527783218023061,0.0,0.0,0.09446290487843714,0.14010833228043812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397379898570127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612955844306336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355375619154367,0.0,0.13719610158899728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256747204243294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164082646540888,0.119162664895695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956415261669183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208578493883153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5748105996813846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ner2773,2019/01/14,"Night time Why do I always feel the lowest when it’s nighttime? I have great days but as soon as the sun goes down I feel so depressed and lonely. I have a job I enjoy, pets I love, but as soon as nighttime rolls around my anxiety flares and I wonder what the point of sticking around is. ",0.5182142857142864,2.7967879166666734,1.7161904761904765,98.02500000000003,86.5,4.095238095238095,16.9047619047619,5.288315135182226,-0.7635238095238092,225,5,50,1,7,71,42,60,0.191,0.629,0.181,0.0753,2,2,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,9,8,10,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,3,8,8,0,10,0,2,0,1,1,4,0,1,6,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22441728448345172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063246154475812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4801916556293167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393828005769224,0.0,0.2322976794526669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727432632599094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29735219713672073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26764193070518777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434205060960489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531011340562912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25495967250014484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572679384932903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24336802591895565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292485025883373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jonathan-doebert,2019/01/14,I just sit there I've been having a really tough time lately (duh) and its gotten to the point where my friends are kind of creating a support network for me which is absolutely amazing and I can't thank them enough for it. I have been falling deeper and faster than ever before and my good friends have noticed this. They have actually gotten so worried that they are now writing my therapist letters to essentially tell him how bad it seems from the outside. I got angry at myself because instead of going out and telling them that they don't need to do this or that I'm ok I let them help me. Now I know that sounds kind of weird but allow me to explain that in the past when people have tried to help me it always ends up bad because to be honest I don't really want help. I want people to talk to but I don't really want a solution so I decided a long time ago instead of burdening my friends with my unproductive sadness I would just talk to a professional. I feel so bad that I'm putting on them and I hope that they are ok and I'm not causing them too much stress. Im sorry for ranting and I know that Im being a hypocrite by putting this on you guys but I hope you understand where Im coming from.,3.5631644444444466,4.600500872000001,4.883466666666667,84.78817777777779,72.28,7.795555555555558,27.88888888888889,8.167268648758528,1.7306222222222218,958,35,200,14,18,319,130,250,0.153,0.684,0.162,0.6697,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,9,0,16,22,0,1,9,3,20,0,0,3,1,37,42,17,0,7,7,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,16,11,0,0,7,0,0,5,5,8,0,0,5,2,37,14,27,33,2,27,0,1,0,0,26,9,0,4,12,140,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.10601257337475023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629881263810017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039343539733384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721183047097053,0.13244638025847982,0.0,0.09244080583349387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159857956130413,0.0,0.09357986068112507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621880485722188,0.11224950761209967,0.0,0.0,0.09826702575892524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054929370980247735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25179454450925537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617400559628342,0.09111829998673827,0.08688573030527272,0.0,0.0,0.10756622082781113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21844824937569388,0.0,0.0,0.21579911957829026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520349333305431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22625430390028944,0.11940645523068713,0.0,0.12254557147602252,0.0,0.0,0.11108715508406636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613899552494967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985958942391343,0.08055184387306448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368223238757438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037048734290488,0.1506283490789108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269565794860452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21841735789384464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20878404179606053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889767562273452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160854381061048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444159378831195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327827363175956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17463419351711298,0.18990442386083564,0.1000169692072794,0.0,0.12613418409965665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669246284649144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375637085838331,0.0,0.0,0.1130933827191654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19222809081756587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032461962350172,0.0,0.07717153955380368,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PikaPinkie,2019/01/14,"How I feel being borderline ""I dont want attention or pity I'll hustle and work my ass off until the day I die 
But that trauma can come out in lashing out yelling and rare occasions violent tendencies
So I feel like a broken person.
I dont feel like anyone will ever really love me. 
Which yea it's fine cause I love myself for the most part. 
But it's a thought in my mind""",1.7412115732368894,3.45951541772152,3.897504520795664,87.22050632911396,78.36708860759494,7.552260397830018,21.4122965641953,8.418075326091056,1.1872878842676309,294,8,63,6,7,101,58,79,0.226,0.596,0.177,-0.5489,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,1,0,4,1,5,3,1,2,1,19,13,8,1,1,3,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,4,10,5,7,10,2,9,0,1,0,3,3,5,1,2,5,40,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441762193106598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118188892519824,0.0,0.1776185881912809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297860719067872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399767943525813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4833176098871793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651502849028065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31277490432451305,0.29461125531140203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147275713840448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721977686747993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819799862568247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22328890720502206,0.0,0.0,0.18004137213334526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320936879323132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369566272733366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161905297859325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501122919107701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uncontrolledmitosis,2019/01/14,sad on my birthday Feeling lonely. ,3.5500000000000007,6.707287333333337,4.449999999999998,73.84500000000001,92.33333333333334,2.4000000000000004,39.333333333333336,3.1291,2.8165333333333336,28,2,3,0,1,9,6,6,0.5539999999999999,0.297,0.149,-0.6249,0,2,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,worldlyExit,2019/01/14,"Slowly overcoming my fear of intimacy! Short version: Overcame my fear of intimacy and asked and got a first date but later on got rejected but still proud of myself.  
  
Long version: quick background; for the first ten years of my life i grew up in a messed up abusive environment. Like when I cried the people who watched over me would stick a kitchen tongue in my mouth and threaten to cut off my tongue to get me to stop crying. Beatings and other punishments were daily. Fast forward, second decade of my life there was no physical abuse and i was just pretty much left alone as long as I did well in school, although I developed severe depression for all of high school and came really close ending it a few times. As a result I had almost no friends in high school and I was even too anxious to appear in public. Now that I'm on my own in college I've finally made some really good friends, for the first time in my life, with whom i've even managed to discuss my probs and in addition the college psychiatrist prescribed me paxil so that’s been helping.  
  
So eventually I developed feelings for this really nice shy girl, and slowly over few months time i've built up the courage to ask her out. I lost weight and I'd wake up nauseous and vomit soon after and go to bed with a migraine every other day because of the stress, so it wasn’t an easy experience. Initially I couldn't even approach her, but eventually I asked her out and we had a date that I believe went well. Unfortunately later on she told me she didn't wish to lead me on and that she'd prefer us to just be friends. I took it well because I was kinda proud that I got that far. Also i feel that I played my cards as best as I can in my situation, so yeah. We’re still friends to this day, and I guess I still have feelings for her, but i'm gonna respect her decision and not pursue her romantically. Since then I've asked a few others out and also got rejected but I am not at all upset about that. I guess right now im slightly worried about whether I'll ever find anyone who I would like as much, since because of her I managed to overcome my fear. But we'll see. Worst comes to worst, if I spend my life alone at least I'll be able to say I tried.  
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mentalhealth,trash666_69,2019/01/14,"i think i have depression, definitely have anxiety and PTSD Im getting alot of depression symptoms lately and im scared. I wanna die so bad man. I need a therapist but my dad wont get me one.",-0.31641666666666524,1.957541525,3.235000000000003,83.74333333333333,96.25,7.666666666666668,24.16666666666667,8.344100000000001,2.3939166666666667,151,7,31,5,6,55,31,40,0.33,0.624,0.046,-0.8536,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,7,4,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,6,0,2,6,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749878831441612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937315089930131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996862569369436,0.0,0.24080572279738144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424473796229849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5012544740430941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26173474630221283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204388674638613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15722640916889194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712252644748089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23229789260654016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411632212073858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26939936121494,0.0,0.14867250117576916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatdoidonow445,2019/01/14,"My weird story I don't really know how to word this… but i'll just start at the top…. When i was younger (idk when) i was diagnosed with adhd.. severe adhd.. i was prescribed a low dose adhd medicine and eventually moved up to adderall. I remember when i first started taking adderall.. and honestly i can't remember 8+ years of my life after that because the adderall had brainwashed me to a point of, i wasn't who i wanted to be, i was what the adderall made me… a fucking creature. Fast Forward to 7-8th grade i had stopped taking them bc real they were to expensive and honestly didn't do much for my adhd other than make me brain dead.i had gained a lot of weight and am still overweight because of the sudden stop of taking the pills i had put on almost 100 lbs by freshman year. being ultimately controlled by adderall most of my life and it caused me to isolate myself from friends and family so its all i knew… to be honest all i can remember. I never did well in school bc of my lack of attention, so my parents were always angry with me, so my mom specifically began almost hating me because i’m not like my brother (straight A’s kid) shed always belittle me and unfortunately still does to this day but i've been able to just accept it, my father never belittled he was honestly the only person who ever stood up for me even tho he only did it very rarely he still wss the only one. Moving to within the last 4 years… i graduated highschool in 2016… im 21 now (its 2019). I feel have begun noticing the more or less feelings of being mentally and emotionally abused … (i am by no way saying i have it hard or saying i have it harder than anyone else this is just my story) i pretty much don't trust anything i do, i have had such a mind set of “ your a fucking failure so do what you do best” beaten into my mind i feel as tho i can't escape that feeling, constantly crushing my fucking chest to the point i have developed panic attacks, i have constant mental breakdowns and have even considered suicide many times, (no i am in no way saying i am going to commit suicide but it was a thought at one point) here's where things get a little weird for me i have considered going to a psychiatrist but if i'm being honest…. Iv never told a single person about the way i feel… none i've never even spoken the words of how i feel out loud … i'm really good at hiding my feelings at times i feel to good 

Iv always been horrified at the idea of suddenly not being what everyone thought i was i always played the guy who laughs everything off and can usually take a punch of criticism. So to suddenly be broken down scares me and i don't know why. Not even my parents know how i feel. The only person i have ever come close to speaking with about my feeling was my ex girlfriend even then only mentioned a little of how i feel and even only that over text.. something in me just feels as tho it wants nothing and everything to change at once and i guess i'm making this as kind of a sort of … hello this is the real me and i'm sorry i hid this for so long but i just can't seem to hide it anymore i don't know what to do now…
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mentalhealth,Hugogoulden,2019/01/14,"Don’t know how or why I’m still alive I’ve been through 3 rehabs for drug addiction and mental health, in 3 years clean at 20 years old. I gave up on the 8 year search for what was wrong with me/ labels 2 years ago. I was promised I would be happy after getting sober... that was three years ago. Now I’ve reached a breaking point, I’m the devil trying to be normal-ish, I can’t control them and I’ve accepted that, all I can do is manage their reprocussions and wait for their next self-destructive event. I was doing better than ever the last 5 months (worse than ever but at least I was actually participating in life and going to lectures) now I’m active about suicide every day instead of just being suicidal. I don’t know what to do and I just want out, I want a reason to go on and some explanation as to why I’m still alive after a couple of deaths and enough things that I should be dead/retarded, yet perfect bodily health... I can’t carry on but I feel I must, had I not tried so hard and gotten so far, but in the end it doesn’t really matter. The plethora of mental illness (biological and psychological) mean I can never be happy but I don’t know how to at least be level enough to carry on. It’s another one of my hypocrisies that I don’t understand still but yeah :/)( x ",1.9888333333333317,3.863027083018866,3.900400943396228,86.76506682389939,78.16981132075472,6.680817610062893,20.852987421383645,7.6454224807358475,0.7106383647798742,1007,26,213,15,24,341,148,265,0.08900000000000001,0.77,0.142,0.7711,0,0,1,0,0,2,33.0,0,0,3,3,16,8,0,0,8,1,29,7,0,4,6,44,47,20,3,5,9,0,2,0,0,3,7,0,1,0,9,11,0,2,8,0,0,2,9,2,0,2,9,2,23,6,34,29,6,43,1,0,0,0,4,15,0,2,25,143,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.10827205536809284,0.12095283766744695,0.0,0.0,0.19670252389736487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634167311062454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981270382512988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444084781061192,0.0,0.12276503992551185,0.0,0.0715541397515493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866779782520285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826954893478823,0.22928383900759264,0.0,0.0,0.20072284852887576,0.09348090283342764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056100099325807055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057967256191368076,0.0,0.12611188550261687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23621855270074715,0.09939019674082808,0.0,0.0,0.23587119721586786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292710836775,0.09043977674012453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836788872481974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085803618631867,0.0,0.0,0.2236247850068916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855993498294433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557215962375915,0.0,0.11799752105604525,0.0,0.10870830664800707,0.0,0.0,0.116424286059295,0.0,0.0751831886532626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488444539657164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107797567057703,0.1140759849000116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574596676559396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658165515692334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24272451234206374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371083553815623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065673089736528,0.0,0.0,0.1155037804077194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088340895017794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002318262763977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306842692338664,0.07881632279478741,0.1213073714259328,0.0,0.3572436497001949
mentalhealth,acc_to_hide_frm_gf,2019/01/14,Ending it I really want to end it. I'm in my bathroom ready to. I'm just so scared. Lately I've been more depressed than every and today was just the cherry on top. Please help me.,-0.6223076923076931,1.5131124102564115,1.9750769230769265,94.79492307692308,91.56410256410255,4.1456410256410265,12.928205128205128,5.6839178017228535,-1.0087887179487185,140,2,31,1,5,48,32,39,0.159,0.606,0.236,0.1428,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,5,3,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700085127573539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.555318254704282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26412888006684665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21012576624448875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536304206583372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441179254776381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082974749121507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31385821959474985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971519032255901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849045482955036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pikachuuuuu,2019/01/14,"Sometimes I feel like going off my meds for a while just so I can feel things really deeply (I'm not going to, don't worry)

The meds I'm on are good, they don't make me feel void of emotion of zombie-like or anything, but if I ever forget to take them for a few days I get extremely overemotional and it shows.  I'll sob at songs that make me feel nostalgic, or movie and TV scenes with any hint of emotion in them.  It's like I feel everything amplified to a million percent.

On the one hand it sucks because it makes me very oversensitive and that in turn makes me testy and I've gotten into some bad situations with friends because of it.  On the other hand...it's nice just to ***feel*** things so deeply sometimes, to be really profoundly emotionally impacted by things.  I know it's not healthy, and it feels bad at times, but it's also nice in a weird way.

Reiterating that I'm not going to do this.  Sometimes I want to though.

​",2.142409356725146,4.234769673684212,3.7424561403508783,87.0316374269006,78.57894736842105,6.9590643274853825,23.18713450292397,7.984000788550335,1.1845204678362578,738,24,155,13,18,245,103,190,0.114,0.763,0.123,0.1811,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,3,0,7,11,1,0,7,0,6,1,1,4,1,34,30,15,0,2,10,0,8,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,16,8,0,0,8,3,0,3,5,5,0,2,1,9,15,6,26,28,3,18,0,1,0,0,4,10,2,4,6,95,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153091945102064,0.0,0.1240137023744945,0.1390773239197526,0.07783442800608674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418804776493928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19113299742345286,0.1395433891356306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381505258286103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862448837298708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353256757880183,0.0,0.0,0.1028662318611562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051089506787003,0.08176783379574377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842890241850483,0.0,0.05979886109604673,0.0,0.19514500821382288,0.0960007843748714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290236628227984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183544839555036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30560273645417474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25427100981403344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755876938856744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466476860688793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865403893905478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396015781224202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605713561995695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281196819667368,0.0,0.11245305022000038,0.0,0.0667405768622638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449593794758193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443870021283986,0.0675094812643059,0.09085033921462096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623625573849584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390773239197526,0.0
mentalhealth,wattodo12345,2019/01/14,"Feeling so alone My anxiety is off the charts and I'm trying my best to not have a meltdown. 

I cant stop overthinking. My usual distractions arent helping me and ugh. I dont kmow what to do. I'm hurting so much and I cant handle it. ",-1.6950000000000005,0.2267852692307705,1.6950000000000005,94.4875,100.15384615384615,4.907692307692308,19.96153846153846,6.6274283507984215,0.4329538461538465,182,7,42,3,8,65,36,52,0.252,0.608,0.14,-0.6195,1,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,6,10,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,1,7,1,3,10,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472246950714663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564703559326897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518310831265917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39291819938036093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951579348583326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22471540979310706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588990886562334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464521516824856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28028950160544963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276172020100173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692377435935185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrispCocoa,2019/01/14,"Just found out my grandma thinks I've been faking it all this time. I'm 20. I've been dealing with anxiety, depression, and trauma related issues since I was 13-14. It's been a *long* time. I haven't been on medications since I was ~16, because the ones I was on were messing me up *big time*. An antidepressant I was on had such a bad reaction that I have a two-week blank spot in my memory. Apparently I did little more than sleep that whole time.

Anyway, so the current struggle right now is that my depression is kind of ruling my life. The anxiety more or less faded away and only really flares back up in places with a lot of people.

I'm *incredibly* stressed out, though. It's been so bad I.. I guess you can say attempted(?) suicide back in September. I was going to jump off an overpass but decided against it after a brief mental breakdown. I don't know if that falls more under 'attempt' or 'choosing not to follow through'.

Anyway.

I'm unemployed, which is a huge factor of my stress. I haven't been able to get a job since I got my GED, which was a bit over 2 years ago now. I had one, but I had such a massive anxiety attack on my first day that I quit by lunch time. That was back in July. It's been nothing since, not for my lack of trying.

So, I figured I'd kind of lay low and work on myself before I throw myself back out there again. Maybe fixing some other issues, or at least patching them up in a decent fashion, will boost my confidence enough to help me land a decent job, y'know? So I'm trying to work out and get myself in shape, get my driver's license, that kinda thing.

But my grandma doesn't really understand that, no matter how many times I lay it out. I've told her about my problems, and how my issues work. Many times.

I learned that she thinks I've been faking it all this whole time, as some long-con plot to be a freeloader for the rest of my life. It frustrates me, quite a bit. It's like she never listened to anything I said, like my fucking dad.

I don't know what I thought I'd get out of this. I guess I needed to just yell into a void for a minute.",2.2377352410415057,3.801184023201859,3.7812548337200313,89.27669792472288,76.51740139211138,6.645037380768239,22.645076050528488,7.3871296695380915,0.7610711007991751,1618,46,349,20,36,537,213,431,0.123,0.816,0.061,-0.9628,7,0,0,0,0,1,65.0,0,1,1,8,22,20,3,3,21,0,32,6,1,2,3,51,57,20,1,4,11,1,0,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,26,14,1,0,11,0,0,6,9,16,0,3,25,4,51,4,53,30,17,64,0,3,0,1,12,34,1,10,26,238,77,7,0.07939348926092413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037753790078248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18220740592521206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533407689804341,0.0,0.0,0.09032155565055122,0.07459279663448885,0.2441947702961089,0.13258049452921952,0.048397534149734175,0.0,0.06755801175425519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335425507898222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120223251380465,0.08185120127159799,0.13676299192802904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203469762397861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753206140715927,0.0,0.08705086305637354,0.0,0.07339800149208238,0.16591928517362664,0.0,0.045121149570661184,0.0,0.06349822609523227,0.0,0.17492175864406473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321578230866954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485985271369688,0.15757157495020974,0.0,0.0,0.16535220333192174,0.13089775613605464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215593881882448,0.07757529706568457,0.0795731336574531,0.0,0.14052147925702166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749750543159427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609850736193869,0.07976143117285213,0.0,0.0,0.07998058781168535,0.08000996362704871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886926629572563,0.06123315337138481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761801942001031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759816608570827,0.060382326190577214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504144888095516,0.0,0.08294929823485939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596884689777282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888949713350987,0.0,0.0,0.10172300441405656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780160603017388,0.07552138921324139,0.06313688928161147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627004589852669,0.0,0.07945082628936817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818899474115776,0.08299931315014837,0.0,0.08684359116670885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052745506453101776,0.10174428429961964,0.0780037000960955,0.06302956213436561,0.3703598564285822,0.0,0.0,0.0758638813220492,0.0,0.10780593536531992,0.0,0.07755590268273327,0.08265142228240444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368466814366544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727999090972768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339821726153856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051126804066241344
mentalhealth,rainbowmuffin99,2019/01/14,"Can somebody PLEASE fucking help me. Am I a psychopath or something? What is wrong with me LONG POST WARNING 


Also I’m 13

ok where the fuck do I even start? 
I’ll just do some explanation and some point form.

•when I was little I made these imaginary friends. Now it’s like they never go away, I feel like people are here constantly. I even feel uncomfortable while using the bathroom because of it.
I know that aren’t their but I constantly feel a presence around me. I think I’m going crazy.....

•I’m stressed about everything. I haven’t done any work at school in like 3 weeks. I constantly just tell myself that I can’t do it.

• Kicked doctor at 4


•Called mom a bitch and cunt at 5

•I’m depressed, I can’t sleep, I dread the next day, I cry every second night.

•I’m obsessed with how I look, I feel like I’m ugly and horrible. I beat myself up constantly for being so skinny. I want to gain weight but I can’t and it’s fucking torturing me.

•I’m jealous of everyone I see, I’m jealous of my friends, I’m jealous of my mom.  I was never like this before

•I did horrible things as a child such as kicking doctors and calling my mom horrible names at 7 years old.

•I did fucked up things with my toys as a little kid. I would make my stuffys “fight to the death” and “mate” or even “rape each other” I was obsessed with sexual things involving animals at 7 years old as well. (IM NOT ANYMORE) but my friend was too so I thought it was normal. I am an animal lover and can’t see myself doing this. 


• I use different personalities in every situation to benefit myself. And I mean completely fucking different person between school, home, and different friends/teachers.

•I use charm and “becoming friends” with certain people who I want on my good side to benefit me in the future.

•I suffered horrible night terrors when I was younger to the point where the second I closed my eyes I was dying or seeing someone smothering my pet cat with a pillow.

•I make up strategic plans on how I would kill or harm someone. I HAVE NO INTENTIONS ON ACTUALLY DOING IT

•I take no responsibility for anything and will attempt to lie my way out of anything and everything.

•no matter what I do to someone I still make up reasons that I’m better than them.

• I used to constantly study others at school and mimic what they do to fit in.
Now I’ve basically trained my brain to know how to act when I walk in to the schoolyard

•I’m constantly looking for ways to get blackmail and revenge on people 

•I use people’s emotions and strong feelings against them when I’m angry

•I have no guilt after doing anything to anyone, Most of the time it’s their fault. Even if I started it.

•I don’t learn much of anything from my actions. I’ll do the same thing to people 10 times before I even start to learn shit.

•consequences don’t effect or deter me.  I honestly couldn’t care less if you keep me indoors for recess and don’t let me see my friends. And if I’m given detention I will just find something to do. I get upset when given the consequences but once they are happening I don’t give a shit.

•I go on violent screaming crying rages 
And have week long mental breakdowns 

•I pretend to like people to get better grades. Including teachers, I study how the good kids act towards the teachers so I can learn to do it myself.

•I try to find ways to pursuade or manipulate teachers in to giving me better grades,Even blaming them.

•I try to make myself cry and breakdown by torturing myself with sad music.

•I have no excitement for things like Christmas.  Even though I’m only 13.

•I tell myself that I’m lying about my mental issues and exaggerating it.

• I stare off in to space all the time 

•I can’t focus anymore on anything for long periods of time

• I lose all motivation for everything and just want to sleep all day.


The last thing is hard to describe. I basically turn certain emotions on when I go to school and then turn them off when i go home. At home I have this feeling of no emotions and extreme sadness and anger. Sometimes I experience what feels like no emotions at all. While at school I’m laughing and generally experience very strong emotions.


And I know I just sound like an asshole but I need help. I’m seriously begging someone to help me. My family doctor has laughed at me before so I don’t feel comfortable speaking to her. My school counsellor will tell my mom and teachers behind my back (everyone I know who has seen her in 3 different schools has experienced this) she also twists things to make us all seem suicidal or something.
My mom and family is not an option for reasons I don’t want to disclose on the internet. I have no grammar and I’m very aware. 

What do you think I have and where to get help privately in canada.",2.8204886729426057,5.138800888648653,4.05212754327361,84.52238323716978,77.4108108108108,6.9248709383540845,26.825690859398733,7.973499152223876,1.8158338900698447,3742,152,712,64,89,1222,360,925,0.218,0.632,0.149,-0.9982,5,0,3,0,1,0,79.0,1,2,9,14,42,73,21,7,26,1,62,18,7,21,9,133,142,69,4,12,22,5,10,9,7,5,3,3,5,5,35,41,2,1,26,2,0,9,25,38,1,2,15,23,114,35,107,119,13,107,0,5,9,7,48,48,9,15,55,457,149,16,0.0,0.0,0.03877996009461555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355923020787291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02702418132259794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882169059531104,0.027786739818182568,0.0,0.1635108618657919,0.035376526063966685,0.0,0.0,0.037336511192217585,0.03055717571134124,0.0,0.024224793237230605,0.04388908833491974,0.10144600722023868,0.0,0.0,0.1054389135216214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044362356675514414,0.0811568209470362,0.0,0.040517006673970166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0416660458390966,0.25766529594276805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095572354724969,0.05125730133663582,0.0,0.03422752068020121,0.0,0.04124326375454285,0.16607702307278668,0.0,0.12202499951961468,0.0,0.0406672434546608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22350760111848206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373267321372844,0.0,0.06696438280707619,0.0759454741439771,0.10714573639203323,0.07774559371274169,0.07492561295889916,0.0,0.16074763563045033,0.08516958973525557,0.0,0.0,0.07264225482353108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351296041702234,0.1836923555516934,0.08304886701386383,0.07624338219479443,0.11292419522797395,0.06666311221186777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0351414547691363,0.0,0.03559873182698586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654603347324253,0.0,0.1195856927687452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04292541356772271,0.04147764980712492,0.0,0.0353222394036063,0.04396580149457393,0.0,0.08735902584906864,0.03239294683216605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040636268925913266,0.0,0.17473214372110166,0.0796587158397988,0.0,0.10550445927243082,0.06674224044859912,0.04445826741642021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03760241815139576,0.13263192096005852,0.0,0.0,0.04328789921356047,0.0,0.0,0.08009601562703755,0.0,0.0,0.2327117540035042,0.0,0.0,0.02921306022903665,0.029466290568220088,0.0612990106105881,0.0,0.04226334433441906,0.0745855431746512,0.038936212852252634,0.0,0.0,0.08339971291898261,0.04232120570399759,0.0,0.030223634175746156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530194052781844,0.06939789082966981,0.0,0.04362197062023189,0.07513322977377551,0.0,0.03805939767794789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171752401183481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815290378125068,0.12666875157303675,0.03617729286263461,0.0,0.0,0.08158392636383842,0.0,0.04466879458408436,0.07953627692817655,0.0,0.13468439121595074,0.09178008517546273,0.03930332142096557,0.0,0.0843833386331162,0.0,0.031735967411898484,0.0,0.04552139324230857,0.0,0.0,0.04346849642139595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029879112581327787,0.0,0.10420206412329508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848078228213812,0.05092685595515678,0.039043797163728786,0.03154867572001233,0.09268954609955156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053960941189510295,0.08645019658291203,0.0,0.0,0.047801652268969055,0.17161058068226004,0.0,0.06557839824358119,0.09375740321691384,0.09462995115593774,0.06375316202635152,0.04839193097656857,0.03573052828043829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028930784971188686,0.0,0.0,0.056459514736189736,0.043448838272139335,0.0,0.05118179176456659
mentalhealth,ShittyMemes2305,2019/01/14,"My experience with developing and dealing with depression  there's only one thing that makes me cry. For some time now i've been afraid of not finding love, i feel like nobody loves me. I get filled with sadness and anger just thinking that people chose looks and not the personality, i began wondering if it's worth living a life where i feel that nobody loves me. But i was a bit more complicated i didn't want anybody i didn't want some girl with a face full of makeup, i wanted someone who would be funny, be silly, act like a human with emotions. Basically someone who would not pretend to be someone they're not. And eventually i got afraid that people like that don't exist, well at least not in this shithole i live in. That fear developed in to depression. Maybe it's an effect of my parents always wanting me to marry and have children. But i grew sadder and sadder, eventually suicidal thought entered my brain, and everyday i wanted to meet that perfect someone. I am not a man of looks, but i am also not a man looking for looks like i said i wanted someone who wouldn't hide their emotions someone kind and pure. I cried, and cried, still wondering if this life is worth living. But while crying i look in the mirror, i see what i was doing just by thinking about suicide i was kiling myself very slowly. But that day in the mirror i saw myself and finally realised what i've done i've become the exact opposite of the person i want to meet, i became sad i didn't want to go out. It was truly hell. Then i started to i guess care more about myself. And what i thought about while looking at myself is if i completly lose hope and commit suicide, and the person i am looking for truly exists that i wouldn't get to meet her. IF i killed myself i couldn't meet anyone especially  not the person i imagined. So for my entire search for love the thing that kept me going was the thought that if i killed myself i would never get to meet that special person. 

 If you feel like crying, cry then take a good long look in the mirror think about why you're crying how you can fix it and if it's something you can't change how you can forget about it or make it just a little better. Imagine it as talking to a friend who's sad what you would tell them then all of the things you think of or say, you have to do, you have to succed because staying determined and having hope is what keeps you going and when you keep going nothing can hold you back. Stay strong never think that emotions are weak. Sometimes it's the emotions of other is the thing that makes us feel emotions. Never give up hope and most importantly never give up on life. ",4.674752380952384,5.656158794285716,5.313880952380952,82.93920238095238,69.62857142857143,7.357142857142858,26.583333333333336,7.3871296695380915,1.3467619047619053,2097,63,403,20,36,677,224,525,0.181,0.675,0.14400000000000002,-0.9792,1,0,1,0,0,3,40.0,1,11,2,5,19,36,4,3,23,0,39,9,2,6,9,107,100,42,5,25,25,1,4,5,1,6,3,2,0,10,39,23,0,4,18,1,2,8,20,14,1,1,18,16,66,22,49,72,9,45,1,6,10,4,47,15,1,18,25,287,105,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041179170642566224,0.0428465477669474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03600531022264635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039595166551162415,0.0,0.031389835629986554,0.05687030041048091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554163623519168,0.05621734317964113,0.0,0.0,0.0574835487992148,0.0,0.0,0.05250084767536233,0.0,0.05447307997654701,0.0,0.05398974172587186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39594077820590784,0.033208916337021874,0.05308732767424516,0.08870220171970454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05269552045565297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28961513902125713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503703248093784,0.0,0.05794427460108512,0.10414623173323834,0.07357364268037798,0.0,0.056408389391974324,0.04706394016188754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03978359317558284,0.0,0.08070936641108209,0.0987941243308808,0.1170593083587398,0.04319013405856214,0.041183893248743365,0.0,0.05672567154927592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343338669064116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153921588550082,0.1139394065196211,0.053622344349062746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091137145610878,0.1257851183236673,0.05160981091190826,0.13640857274897636,0.04556994704227822,0.3459312014335396,0.057607827358073925,0.0,0.0,0.18589884225549386,0.0,0.10311652588622604,0.0,0.05173193754835268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885921902441255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049409206816269695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034893190395495884,0.039162972398850235,0.0,0.0,0.0571772119917945,0.0,0.0,0.07139793642643588,0.22480980176779847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898191686001233,0.040949536201718435,0.0,0.0,0.04103349048633383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617806183602012,0.03964205541475648,0.05092818696262603,0.0,0.0364472203286914,0.10977000543049714,0.04112261313698578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897592615815424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03871655058158771,0.04138836123100824,0.045007410838751656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683943257612052,0.1649741260874354,0.0,0.12263977679771695,0.030026155313179495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061940095540573926,0.0,0.0,0.04248736246343173,0.2429766435777222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04629865768975139,0.0,0.04646469086142577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168456709093527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631744180124154,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tinnytipmicah,2019/01/14,"Is there a mix of bipolar and depression? I have periods of which I am depressed to the point of being severe and suicidal thoughts. I that I share many of the same traits with depression, and maybe a few expexruons that I just firce my self to overcome. I've had it in random intervals from a half hour to over 2 weeks.  I have beams of sunlight to fill the gaps, but it last no more than 15 to 30 minutes. Then the actual good times were filled with me tired and not my body from the episode. It feels like I am getting pulled two different ways. I thought I was bipolar since they happend too frequently and it was mixed with random anger, but I just noticed that I got frustrated because my depression kept getting bigger and more symptoms started happening like mental and physical numbness.

I would just like to know if I have depression or a mix with bipolar. I also been told I might not even have depression because of my past, so I was wondering if it is normal to experience theses thoughts very early at 5 (I started puberty around this time since my dad said he didn't have anything like me until 12) to 15 from just a bad life?


Thank you in advance. ",5.318466076696161,6.223149194690263,5.532017699115045,82.23613864306787,68.11504424778761,9.035516224188793,32.76578171091445,9.21078282632365,2.8197661356932158,922,40,178,17,15,292,134,226,0.201,0.713,0.086,-0.9847,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,1,10,17,2,0,10,0,19,8,1,0,0,36,35,16,1,4,11,1,1,4,0,2,7,1,0,1,11,12,0,1,6,0,0,4,4,10,0,2,14,2,26,7,28,18,4,25,0,6,0,0,8,7,0,7,17,125,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.1096976059697131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989559780451661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250525298612812,0.10007024781031493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385907607289326,0.1370502608435878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486405997386582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5809202074065426,0.0,0.0,0.11744630340782015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424686926217737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099602150720868,0.0,0.0,0.056838734332531324,0.08030694266304322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174609497752276,0.0,0.0,0.09428560264490307,0.0899059074221914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994052971963334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070288326133604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177853182486698,0.0916305408546874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939970982158909,0.21967471865360053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139678225299746,0.1129326642311724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328455651529536,0.11925105198360307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013960109805088,0.0,0.1279814682541998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730968960016124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626539345124164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692927101330116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726992169557895,0.12699322700498947,0.0,0.18597624372903515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913116309214045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296015727959063,0.0,0.0,0.1168388004767172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349359259114307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677270056149971,0.13109633533315482,0.12920071549151793,0.0,0.10741419895099072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980989919593752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275142719458504,0.0,0.0892271770394676,0.09016988710440957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219056961020985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985404814317602,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hellooooothrowaway,2019/01/14,"balancing psychiatrist appointments with a Mon-Fri 8 to 5 job? TX, USA so after struggling for over a decade i’m finally on a combination of meds (adderall and trintellix) that works for me and that i’m able to get/take fairly consistently. the problem is that i’m about to start an office job where i’ll be working 8am-5pm Monday through Friday, and i don’t know how i’ll be able to keep seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis. online visits won’t work since they can’t prescribe controlled substances like adderall, and i haven’t had any luck finding psychiatrists that accept my insurance and offer appointments outside regular business hours. has anyone else had this problem and found a way to make it work?

probably cross posting everywhere i can bc i’m pretty desperate right now.",6.613356164383564,8.06817814383562,6.995780821917808,70.91052054794524,65.50684931506851,10.223561643835618,35.83287671232877,10.355215969177356,4.11125698630137,643,31,104,16,10,209,102,146,0.077,0.816,0.107,0.6267,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,5,5,6,0,1,8,0,11,0,0,3,0,18,21,8,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,2,4,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,3,1,6,3,15,15,0,15,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,1,7,56,12,6,0.3206012784286194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109009931608874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120859341141538,0.16424694832818493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797907975188664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391061473480004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756015148259334,0.14651188015094074,0.0,0.0,0.17576137693399055,0.0,0.0,0.08375046782458324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578638395212849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181472992516027,0.1424825735031457,0.0,0.0,0.08809703908829962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831479522206639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700192143041498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805787297479422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352370117790465,0.16308337920101482,0.17283120142166716,0.30677212530777903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689587002120832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277388552600819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260234525917555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346161749875047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758103310702854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272391860277352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4668030980776646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SoBrokenAndConfused,2019/01/14,"People like me more when I’m depressed I have extremely long low periods where I suffer from severe depression.  People say I seem “chill, relaxed, no nonsense, laid back, confident” when I’m depressed.  I’m not any of those things.  Im a fucking wreck.  I don’t know why anyone perceived me like this.  I don’t know why anyone reads that from me.  I feel like I radiate despair.  I’m kinda shocked the opposite is perceived.

Sometimes I have elevated moods.  I’ll have something going good for me for once and I’ll feel happy.  When I’m happy I’m so fucking hyper and exuberant.  I just want to make jokes and smile and hang out with people.  People repeatedly tell me that I’m “annoying, abrasive, too much, overwhelming, obnoxious” when I’m actually just in a good mood for once.  They hate my jokes.  They want me to stop talking and be quiet again.  They wish I would just “chill out” again.  

Chill out?  I’m not chill, I’m fucking depressed.

As you can imagine these interactions just make me depressed again...",2.0990692934782618,4.81739911979167,3.398985507246376,85.56195652173912,83.84375,6.255797101449275,25.01449275362319,7.586124646067393,1.589766938405798,789,32,147,14,23,256,103,192,0.224,0.586,0.191,-0.858,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,3,0,15,27,5,1,3,0,9,3,0,2,0,31,34,11,0,4,6,0,2,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,6,9,0,1,8,4,0,2,5,15,0,0,0,4,22,10,14,32,2,20,0,9,0,3,8,6,3,2,15,79,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.11300857210015618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787510904083301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194651992988313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904657937055778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4987116063504101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171085576593698,0.08273082023855005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32117842446403155,0.0,0.0,0.06581441562671682,0.1942627868733072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465522729158766,0.0,0.11433305476781455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250888263490129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728634515323564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972881537907733,0.0,0.0,0.10248341551914024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15460092239422482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512969624271659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24665621184225026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321137278444104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583592557157198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209245580169936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542414687587982,0.0,0.13082622107712338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915202893113047,0.11453369786199187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681782029006346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307934059608328,0.10121831351151478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693542201777831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366090918545472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899125540356706,0.0,0.13316956015582002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226425615495182,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GingerRacc,2019/01/14,"I think i got sexually assaulted and its my fault. I don’t know what to do. I think it was my fault because i didn’t say anything. I just froze up and did nothing. No words of protest, no saying no. I just dod nothing. The urges of cutting have been getting stronger by the day. Please give me advice on what to do. I’ve since cut off ties with the person and I’m not talking to her anymore. I’ma male btw.",-0.6238636363636338,1.4811634318181852,1.4754545454545465,98.73318181818182,90.8181818181818,4.1090909090909085,21.63636363636364,5.565023196281405,-0.11592272727272768,314,12,75,2,11,104,59,88,0.21,0.7140000000000001,0.076,-0.8754,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,11,15,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,3,11,0,10,10,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391911354590246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24275086296854845,0.0,0.0,0.2014288327127728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921246725764115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785951860372144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788474837264502,0.23481032547820316,0.0,0.0,0.19576879584071089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452184768423808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697361108355584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21372794417202748,0.0,0.2686892638935581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38930954604155227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20248027261902216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19674074014996326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136836608811508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TryingToImprove1010,2019/01/14,"Would like advice on a myriad of topics I'm trying to improve myself on this year and forever I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm tired of succumbing to mental illness and generally feeling complacent in life. This year, I'm attempting to work on myself as much as I can and these are some of the underlying issues I have. I really appreciate you reading this and offering and advice you'd have. I tried listing some things I thought would be helpful in remedying these topics.

​

* Alcohol consumption - Don't drink, do pushups or consume edible instead
* On medication - Continue taking it as advised by doctor, slowly wean off when things get better
* Depressed, bipolar?, PTSD, OCD, BDD - Continue taking medications, talking about it, going to group counseling,
* Constantly changing moods and mindset, personality due to OCD - Take medication, meditate, not really sure what to do?
* Unmotivated - List things that motivate yourself and work on them every day.
* Slightly overweight - Eat very healthy, work out often 2 hours a day 4-5 days a week.
* Porn addiction - Already doing well, don't ever watch porn. Pray or workout instead. If sexual frustration is too high, masturbate while visualizing things or find a girl.
* Low self-esteem - Meditate, work out, improve mindset and outlook on life
* Never reading books - Try to read one book every 2 weeks
* Boring - Read new things, learn, write about what you learned, suddenly have things to talk about
* Not funny - You know you're funny but your depression closed you off completely, try meditating, 
* Saying dumb things out of necessity when nervous or trying to keep a conversation going  - ?",5.41098998887653,8.626344512544804,6.179273266592514,67.89580645161294,73.40860215053762,9.29630453590409,32.55975775553084,9.668497473035632,4.1642603139290575,1305,64,186,38,29,426,175,279,0.118,0.812,0.07,-0.9273,0,0,2,0,0,0,66.0,0,6,1,7,11,12,2,1,6,0,15,16,0,1,3,39,29,21,0,3,8,0,1,1,0,2,12,1,0,2,17,13,4,1,7,8,0,2,5,7,1,1,1,3,15,4,35,24,3,39,1,3,1,2,18,18,1,8,20,118,32,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946160929546255,0.0,0.16962427935367094,0.0,0.092754254802743,0.0,0.0,0.09577713221829108,0.0,0.0,0.09403909770091083,0.10546178205837274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676047252462077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181442970729503,0.0,0.09099976261190468,0.09379132053417512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16792098313480822,0.0,0.1495076479645087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883529154557822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502311971460386,0.0,0.08880988549966598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785083345739341,0.14625200966823415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0438846439235122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932631728557303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04534523873848061,0.0,0.09865178950332393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058174849317038875,0.09170051512489122,0.0,0.0,0.08547263886643819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058830062070318,0.0,0.0771447190612204,0.0,0.0,0.047698614388391736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12260751524709232,0.04240218805150886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623014325286907,0.08746592412880927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380210774681103,0.0,0.06693934235383985,0.08382425618426616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058812506621800126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578342825780074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145520556784593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347261955837242,0.0,0.11120235759270514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902048341598728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054298652113296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180043456572363,0.0,0.1957703518919392,0.13952024686618142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036252460939852,0.0,0.0,0.06890315467726013,0.0,0.0997546384625092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29463036026523826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716124910878299,0.0,0.0,0.139238617279889,0.0,0.0780364329284847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527424440246631,0.0,0.0,0.12330909580470995,0.0,0.10546178205837274,0.111782407157465
mentalhealth,hotm0ms,2019/01/14,"Starting on Citalopram for low mood/depression and long-standing anxiety. Thoughts and experiences? Hey! Cross posting from /r/anxiety to see if it gets a little more traction here:

I'm starting on Citalopram (Celexa) for low mood/depression and long-standing anxiety. I've also been prescribed a very low dose of Alprazolam (Xanax) for the attacks as needed. I'm a bit nervous on the Celexa because most of what I've read gives me reason to believe that this is a very long term drug and any sort of stoppage once you've begun can cause serious withdrawals and can almost be worse than when you started. Has anyone had any experiences they could share regarding this? Any professional opinions out there? (I've of course talked with my doc but I just wanted to get some other opinions).

Also, I wanted to ask if anyone else is a fairly standard social drinker and see how they were able completely stop drinking while taking Celexa or if they were able to have a beer or two with no issues, as I've heard that even drinking a little bit while on Celexa can prove to have terrible, if not fatal, side effects. (I'm okay to not drink at all while taking, just curious though because I am in the process of starting a home brewing hobby and this would obviously affect this) Not sure if this is against the rules to discuss and I apologize if so.

Thanks in advance!

Tl;dr: starting out on Celexa and Xanax, wanting to know some opinions or experiences while using.",6.892654655958324,7.750198808118082,6.4765053179943575,77.0222335576297,64.60885608856088,8.885695680486217,34.76036466247015,8.841846274778883,3.0197004992402863,1171,51,201,17,17,364,152,271,0.102,0.8370000000000001,0.061,-0.7272,0,0,6,1,0,0,36.0,0,1,3,2,11,12,1,1,12,1,17,8,0,6,4,56,42,31,1,12,15,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,10,13,4,1,5,5,0,2,4,8,0,1,6,3,10,4,34,33,8,33,0,3,2,0,13,16,0,17,14,127,20,2,0.1929436086104662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660257668843103,0.0,0.0,0.154296934097184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968124052600664,0.0,0.2214019987156894,0.0,0.0,0.1349106573027892,0.09884676402110018,0.0,0.0,0.09018811428907844,0.10975060451906347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761663297111133,0.0,0.0,0.10869068754844048,0.0,0.0,0.21064444864612028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991031174030058,0.0,0.0,0.10114885136115136,0.0,0.0,0.07702488575556728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661820473731553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28351692305894377,0.11187666522327136,0.0,0.08058981350547151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371871689635084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831038082952297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080507204519833,0.09254454529563684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676908554827866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069149953303397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530183806905134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933801839323926,0.0,0.256123533058474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153262050253656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273932308598396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923933212546278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649791094556323,0.0,0.0,0.09918908218209756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375107556932374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834085550839604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34141619812447865,0.0,0.0,0.08065474812062058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909235338607746,0.0,0.14506958154670718,0.0775403820135479,0.0,0.08881827600858394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947830579157874,0.07658783661324463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423893490478967,0.0,0.0,0.08332066443004303,0.0,0.15919868379298555,0.17070470903246568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831301040385013,0.06853080186715182,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Grabityy,2019/01/14,"How to not give into urges? I’ve had a history to self harm, especially when I’m having a bad one. I don’t know many methods to stop myself or just healthy ways to deal with it. Also, I’m not medicated for anything nor have a counselor, would it be a good idea to get one? ",2.789237288135592,3.2212204237288167,4.962500000000002,85.75527542372883,73.57627118644069,7.933898305084746,26.614406779661017,8.07648339933343,1.398149152542373,211,7,49,3,4,74,45,59,0.159,0.748,0.093,-0.6072,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,6,1,0,1,0,11,11,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,1,0,2,1,8,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,32,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21886004642349627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22521351943158302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285095404921797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821498057873609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298536051040456,0.2625366939162544,0.0,0.2295479631472458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089489362209501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040616752521893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774663447250786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757016020198162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709023348774376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855056435820783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288069043139409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172327075632868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944128645957069,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Decrem8573,2019/01/14,"How to improve APD - The Agency For Persons With Disabilities. Tell us what you think about APD. Does anyone here receive services in Florida through APD - The Agency for Persons With Disabilities ? and do you have any suggestions as to what this company can do to improve the quality of the  services that they provide to people with disabilities?  I am a licensed provider that works under APD and I have been a first hand witness to the many flaws in the system and the way that APD regularly conducts business.  #APDREFORM  #HELPAPD  

Read more about this subject at:    [https://reshab.org/](https://reshab.org/)",8.980257142857141,11.174550340000005,7.209428571428571,68.81900000000002,60.6,9.714285714285717,40.285714285714285,9.957137785484203,4.531771428571427,494,26,70,10,7,146,64,100,0.0,0.909,0.091,0.8541,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,2,1,2,4,0,0,0,9,0,7,1,1,1,0,8,8,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,6,0,19,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,1,55,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19812632457571802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037169809660314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549602041588428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478200769980604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29538068665904404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019837069317871,0.5087868853178493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914263925530912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546506001606791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866837457931592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504552296937781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312581238939979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121044861639864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ark0042,2019/01/14,"Never Thought That I Have Panic Disorder, Until Today I Could'nt Take It And Just Ran Outside Today i got an some sort of panic attack, with almost every symptom usually appear on panic attacks. Hard time on breathing, shaking sweating, chest pain, raising heart beat, dizzyness, shaking knees etc. complete terror basically. And why im thinking that i might have this disorder is the thing kickstarted it wasnt a big deal at all, it was about some leftover debt from a bank and they were making sure. Suddenly i feel this panic. And now that i think of it it wasnt my first time. Im currently 23 and i understand what is a panic attack. At the time when i was on high school i did not but i had some like 6-7, on primary and middle school it was much much more. Never talked about it to anyone because i thought it was normal. Then within time i forgot it. And my presence in even slightly panicking situations are dropped (i did not put myself on these situations, rejected offers etc.) parallel to my forgeting. Like now i have a part time job with not many responsibilities, in school i dont talk with many people. I dont usually go out, prefer spending time in home.Not many friends, a few close friends(with no drama within). Like there is no stress. My real question is, may i be living with this condition for a long time and unconciously getting away anything that might trigger it? I might be overthinking, or i might be right. TBH just wanted to share it with you guys, thanks. I am just not sure who should i share it with in my personal life",3.5284848484848474,5.800948919191921,4.512794612794616,82.30030303030306,74.95959595959596,7.228282828282829,26.824915824915827,8.167268648758528,1.9186107744107748,1227,47,224,21,27,398,165,297,0.157,0.752,0.09,-0.9153,3,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,1,2,10,23,3,9,9,0,30,8,5,2,5,57,46,13,0,4,9,0,2,3,1,6,3,0,0,2,23,16,0,1,8,1,3,6,12,14,0,1,15,2,29,9,31,22,11,49,0,1,0,0,13,20,0,13,25,161,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375030037579616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149811651539706,0.0,0.060608056007977563,0.0,0.0,0.25136410416293226,0.06919703485318808,0.0,0.0,0.0448966389312059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722110968749181,0.0,0.0,0.058803902086441664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593039385450964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688196238224869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17263558932893255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642794707751951,0.048645436506549934,0.0,0.06205369199023252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037239887278241394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264704660152418,0.0,0.0,0.056902165377502964,0.0,0.03847932735125212,0.0,0.04185725566446112,0.0,0.05890500373324036,0.0,0.0,0.0729255381426915,0.0,0.0,0.06597634884200672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727615382273576,0.0,0.07781575834498225,0.07387741995013837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911027805685024,0.0,0.07308672053904497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05202150045041953,0.10794568866557244,0.0,0.06503470858128592,0.06517834252425536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491622562701116,0.2240100301776298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31252601141326697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828312995983852,0.0,0.11360755566714414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216181672459178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836928587372483,0.4320647500042545,0.0,0.07975627475057341,0.0,0.051059957910525984,0.06430874386945074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403905817984845,0.08250537478455977,0.0,0.0,0.08383035156504631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289709338237656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22361460312060225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557241354296975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436635706365303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882938040231504,0.07655103180205018,0.05537598261466455,0.1183949054112134,0.0,0.06780745150949889,0.0,0.0,0.04893009530489701,0.09438448622984387,0.0,0.11694048231398015,0.3006232427067012,0.0,0.1396240552900194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667272989328773,0.0,0.0,0.1622311605017968,0.0,0.04344095157113592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645808768309337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamhoneycomb,2019/01/14,"Anyone find that depression makes you inept in social situations? Hi all, just wondering if anyone here can relate to this experience.

I suffer from depression, and recently it has got a lot worse. So now, I'm finding that in social situations, because I'm so zoned out, and my mind is so blank, I have to force out conversation (because ironically it's less tiring than being honest all the time and saying you're depressed and don't give a f\*ck). So as a result, the things I say are often quite misjudged or feel inauthentic, because really I'm just saying things that come to me, rather than really processing things and having any real feelings or thoughts about it (because I really just don't care to, and/or I'm not feeling anything anyway).

And not only does it feel inauthentic to me, but I'm quite sure the people I'm talking with sense it too, even if they don't realise or understand the reason. I can just tell by the looks on their faces/their subsequent silence that they don't know what to say to, or make of, what I've said. This just makes me feel worse - especially because I know I'm not really like this when I'm feeling mentally well, and I would much rather they see me like that before making any judgements of me. Because I'm a much more self-assured and socially savvy person to be around when I'm not depressed, and perhaps even fun and engaging too (so I'd like to think).

As a result of these changes, I get this huge feeling of my identity shifting when I change between the two states of depressed and not depressed, or at least in the way other people see me.

I'm a final year undergrad, and when I was home from uni for Christmas and just with my family, I was free to be me, but now I'm back and having to share company with those who may not understand, it's a totally different ball game. And it just really sucks.

Has anyone else found a similar issue with depression to this? And if so, how do you deal with it?

Anyway, thanks in advance, and for reading if you got this far. Hope that all made at least some sense.",7.6369354838709675,6.439921248138963,7.904232009925561,74.28250186104222,63.56575682382135,11.236178660049626,34.04578163771712,10.355215969177356,3.3012264019851116,1625,56,312,32,20,534,190,403,0.126,0.792,0.081,-0.9434,1,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,3,4,3,34,22,1,0,15,0,21,1,0,9,5,91,66,41,0,8,26,0,7,3,0,2,1,5,1,1,29,26,0,0,18,3,1,2,10,9,1,1,8,15,28,14,43,53,12,27,0,8,3,0,25,12,1,15,14,215,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876832378795407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233299850672724,0.07440787978781256,0.0597601590768761,0.06464729012636299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055840378449862636,0.0,0.2656112531501863,0.0,0.06179436093743389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404103729031435,0.0,0.15364488477600405,0.06255579054362792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486813988751077,0.4378331323439352,0.0,0.0,0.07587255369913838,0.0,0.0,0.06355034357834577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060664779619465536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592978938683852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103639774728063,0.06845977230906235,0.0,0.2570323508184785,0.0,0.0,0.07955177577861686,0.13274692134888047,0.0,0.0,0.0796241972186498,0.0,0.0,0.03794100776601941,0.06966382227652493,0.0,0.0,0.11616186445772425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284388675703991,0.07212815036046355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579652269961265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982022145150029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643554588631672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060982598661077664,0.0,0.0,0.06173901665709738,0.0,0.06871489957184139,0.1938979369272831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318398577130111,0.0,0.07332560474810745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676826643128512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05523086251317008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006912746645428,0.0634090749118666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448084207055532,0.07263975739134768,0.08265757846346716,0.23261149518681884,0.07466556317102621,0.07170359308770972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907835003367344,0.23100169015787894,0.0,0.0,0.1157376436295582,0.0,0.07575860774643267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325608217441925,0.0,0.22208115644546725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844358987767621,0.0,0.0,0.058369289887259576,0.06347317294490734,0.06685883619616254,0.0,0.0,0.14473671348322764,0.046532031243027065,0.0,0.057652251910952426,0.0423453674305374,0.08346612826167994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093929082220893,0.1512001815296014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576424594466952,0.0,0.0,0.06529419604223034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787534064960741,0.0,0.0,0.14801218294098334,0.051587239274772136,0.0,0.0,0.04676496690783365
mentalhealth,HorrorPromise,2019/01/14,"Why don't I care more when people ""close"" to me die? I just don't care too much when people die, I had to fake being really sad at my own mothers funeral. Me and my mother were pretty close, we talked a lot and we rarely had disagreements, and if we did we settled them maturely. I didn't have any problems with her. One of my best friends died in a car wreck a year ago and it barely affected me. I do feel bad, but it's equivalent to if I were to read that someone died in the paper. I do have empathy, I want to go into the medical field to try to help people. I guess the problem more than anything is that I don't ever develop emotional connections with people, no matter how ""close"" we are. I could walk away from everyone in my life and I wouldn't miss anyone, I don't mean that in a cruel way, I have some really good friends, but I don't care for them more than the laughter/joy we get when we do stuff together. I don't believe I'm better than them, in fact I have pretty low self confidence. I know I have felt sad to the point of crying about pets, but not for any person. I was never abused or neglected, my parents raised me well. Also, I notice when I have to do shit other people would consider hard like a break-up I get joy out of seeing the other persons pain. I feel terrible about it, it gives me like a happy, almost an adrenaline rush, feeling but at the same time I feel disgusted, sick to my stomach. I hate it, I was a really violent kid, and the only reason I think I'm not violent or mean to people now is because I literally can't speak to people because I'm too nervous. Is it just my personality, at least is this something that I can change? Should I get into counseling or something? I'm scared I might really hurt someone one day, like physically, I don't get mad but it's almost interesting to me to see someone else hurt. I don't want to turn out as a bad person.",4.4109894514767936,4.387664878481012,6.094066455696204,80.68523470464136,69.83544303797468,9.520042194092827,28.103902953586502,9.408791572840183,2.216732067510548,1477,46,313,29,24,511,189,395,0.257,0.584,0.159,-0.9943,1,0,2,0,1,0,47.0,7,0,3,2,15,38,7,2,17,0,39,6,2,3,3,68,69,23,5,10,14,3,6,3,2,4,4,1,1,6,15,22,0,1,10,1,0,4,15,23,1,2,9,9,58,15,42,54,10,34,0,7,2,0,26,18,1,11,14,216,73,2,0.0,0.0911489042506644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819337980761242,0.0,0.15406760816196186,0.0,0.0,0.06152051114471958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462942630339628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053790910653545916,0.0,0.06330644198677624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227781851332905,0.0,0.1284658754510312,0.0937910454519615,0.0,0.0,0.08667322774462179,0.08073278742080922,0.06803791081357421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353043250351925,0.0,0.08138123404360817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142196369970013,0.0,0.08450346785305002,0.04961317762684537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3193627939366293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426474445424145,0.08653535809397454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958715716803701,0.0,0.07350945524646746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559151168047794,0.0,0.07386440551440936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887111610768995,0.0,0.1607700008943746,0.07379780763054243,0.04372082033284624,0.06452483336187267,0.0,0.0,0.08474654186288035,0.0,0.0,0.0818929069274762,0.06891374143259185,0.07595197644784517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051564237155474237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647092893130221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04227845354453148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433759663725325,0.11275163612458032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540272878616739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675976047720902,0.0,0.07749840026469179,0.0,0.08161006602937552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565520504736761,0.0,0.05933279010924598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758477096032491,0.0,0.0,0.10425887044854533,0.05850836824366081,0.08185843560230692,0.0,0.0854211304568901,0.0,0.0,0.3733327107569885,0.26868756605412103,0.0,0.0,0.07272326433972119,0.0,0.0,0.1565299615694132,0.0,0.1472223264573336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695034046534599,0.0,0.19713208737022528,0.0790963614607506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770198722299868,0.0,0.1226057382594206,0.0,0.08025426940595726,0.0,0.07896704907660766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955464036550192,0.1184482093197948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880658977425297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183303594128055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929333157604338,0.0,0.0,0.04485822307135285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05223009581726532,0.08367722933314341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090750050789502,0.06106307398283563,0.0,0.0,0.0691688793616365,0.0,0.06941692820353884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054648525386372236,0.0,0.0,0.049540090091725365
mentalhealth,katethared,2019/01/14,"Health assessment appointment (UK) So a few months ago, I got one of those bastard forms through the post. The one that basically asks you to justify whether you’re still bonkers enough to still need state support. I wrote everything down, my depression and anxiety, my PTSD, my fear of unknown places, crowds of people, having anyone in my personal space. How I have so much trouble socialising these days, how I think about killing myself and how I self harm. Then today I got the letter with my appointment for a face to face assessment. I read the letter, felt sick, started shaking, felt hot and cold and weak all over then went to bed. 

I’m still shaking. I haven’t eaten since this morning but I’m not sure I could keep anything down. I’ve got ten days before my assessment. I’m terrified. Has anyone else here been through this recently? Last time I had one of these was about 5 years ago. ATOS was doing the interviews, they thought I was fine to work and it was actually the DWP who decided I couldn’t. What the fuck do I do? I feel like I’m drowning.",3.263273993808049,5.568200740196082,3.7522703818369463,87.28416408668731,75.91176470588233,7.628070175438597,26.91331269349845,8.532816995589336,1.9699058823529407,837,33,166,17,19,262,127,204,0.171,0.794,0.036000000000000004,-0.9737,0,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,1,1,1,11,14,3,3,9,0,15,7,2,3,2,25,36,14,2,3,3,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,1,2,9,6,1,1,6,1,0,3,3,10,0,4,15,5,23,4,19,19,5,27,0,1,0,1,11,6,2,0,17,103,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.12738867151277233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23143250691331216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986310497461168,0.0,0.0,0.18255386867202086,0.133754141729981,0.1074236869773558,0.0,0.12203772111756846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108032824626887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422594596912199,0.0,0.0,0.16837561221499284,0.0,0.1124343186013791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904981507844408,0.0,0.0,0.13488320486401828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173213603446861,0.0,0.0,0.14689432517607873,0.0660051857383985,0.09325814040027414,0.25067865221065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120682564312546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132154254348641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875841905515032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603037087978504,0.14442369282287307,0.0,0.0,0.1064079089629194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377548153136188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041961605732976,0.0,0.09596226825195436,0.09679410707841528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26537280991127354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050032779364073,0.11398290633887875,0.13638701075517484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502168895844856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259482791531168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305757996741783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889296912842946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361821837509487,0.0,0.0,0.10798442870356884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239721907963484,0.0,0.312749372452478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813578243048553,0.12303285145489193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364506446914195,0.0,0.10363455450067988,0.07611919991624219,0.0,0.12373710524562792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210123268266738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503501948711693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406378504031471
mentalhealth,aoikou,2019/01/14,"Therapist confidentiality I don't know if this is in the right spot, I'm sorry if it's not. Im also reposting this from last night because it didn’t get any replies. 

But lately I've been struggling a lot more with things that has happened to me a good while ago with a previous significant other, maybe 6ish months ago. I thought I got away with it happening with not too many scars on my mental health, but now as time has gone by and I've found someone else who is amazing in every way, I've found myself having terrible problems with being constantly afraid of something terrible happening again,  to the point of making  me kind of delusional. I want to tell my therapist about this, and what my previous S/O has done, but I can't do that without my therapist breaking confidentiality and having to report what happened with them. I really badly want to recover and get my feelings out to her, but I also absolutely can't have her reporting it to anyone, the thought  of that  makes me insanely anxious. I don't know what to do, I want to recover from this because I can tell my mental health is deteriorating, but I don't know how I could possibly talk to my therapist about these things. ",10.834632034632037,7.304011943722942,10.715238095238096,63.95476190476194,59.43290043290044,14.422510822510825,42.54978354978356,12.45797560212912,5.096856277056277,953,39,178,24,9,319,124,231,0.098,0.845,0.057,-0.902,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,2,6,0,22,2,0,3,0,38,44,16,0,7,10,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,19,11,0,0,8,0,0,1,9,6,0,0,9,1,26,3,32,33,2,21,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,3,11,127,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779301833683254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051933281170375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824978121192858,0.0,0.0,0.11338079154206347,0.0,0.07017562865439775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429365092198858,0.0,0.08379829845676162,0.1223598094320553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845595323237084,0.0,0.08013110139695909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270544129127428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838397935189693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845595361616568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074617631866511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22008408489407127,0.0,0.0,0.10487028147000804,0.0,0.0,0.0841791055398535,0.0802688709330541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35500007505601944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21336078734721328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840846756674244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104511853983451,0.1654694270821571,0.0818086404806743,0.11321300546896902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532440801836136,0.0,0.0,0.13398518133346488,0.1017515833995324,0.10082738397522042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20228311367646665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010820175761532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418318620786684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487477960188544,0.1131433731570583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960331326016072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429463635715232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570882524068567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503662075290902,0.07726377422331625,0.0,0.1123473379713098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492042950600837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066738629388298,0.17544208508052744,0.0,0.0,0.4661132965410317,0.13335245754528227,0.0,0.0,0.15935285437242105,0.05852204333603118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758879113209486,0.07966289382819756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674564123496808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,somnolenta,2019/01/14,"I feel like I'm not cut out for life I'm typing this to clear my mind but also to find like minded people if possible. 

I'm a 22 girl. Truth be told I don't feel my age, I feel much younger. I'm probably mentally stuck at 16. I've never had a relationship or a job, and I feel like a dissapointment to my parents. I still live at home with them so I don't have to pay rent, and they're not the worst, but they don't seem to understand I have problem.

I'm stuggling with bad depression and bad anxiety, social anxiety in particular. I can't connect with anyone. I feel emotionally numb, but also ocassionally angry at the world for being so mean. Yeah, anger is one of the few emtions that I have left. I honestly hate most people. I hate talking, I'm very very quiet. Which doesn't help at all, obviously. I only feel joy because of little  things, like music and pets. I have a passion for art but I killed it trying to pursue more ""realistic"" path. 

My parents encouraged me to enroll in college and so I did. I went for like 1 year and then I dropped out because the pressure was too much and I couldn't stand being away from home. 

They however didn't allow me not to continue my studies and so I enrolled in a long-distance college afterwards where I theoretically have to do all the work on my own at home and only show up for the exams. Not too bad, right? Well, I freaking failed my 1st year because I couldn't find the motivation in myself to work harder. (My parents don't know yet). It's like... why can't I just to something right?

This year I decided to sign up for nursing classes (while still in college). I only did it because I thought I could use a distraction as well as a plan B if college really fails. But I realized that doing these classes doesn't make me happy either. I must sound like an entitled brat but I'm honestly so miserable and lost. 

I have poor patience and concentration. I feel incompetent and dumb, and it's hard for me to imagine myself ever having a job, fending for myself. I'm afraid to go to driving school because I'm really bad with directions. I can't hold conversations with people without stuttering. I can't seem to be able to make decisions on my own and I feel like I always need my parents say so to do something. I don't understand how the world works. I feel weak, powerless, out of place. Nothing is going well for me.

I hate getting up in the morning knowing I have to be somewhere where people are, like a school or a job. And I keep avoiding it as much as possible. I barely get out of the house tbh. But I don't mind. I'm the happiest when I'm alone, at home, with my pets. 

That's a problem too ^ beside my depression and anxiety and poor memory and concentration problems, I also avoid reality as much as possible. I tend to daydream most of my day and once someone snaps me back to reality, I don't know how to act. But reality is so ugly though and I just don't want it!

I just want to be happy.

I struggled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts in the past. I still want to die on a daily basis but I don't even have the energy necessary to entertain the suicidal thoughts (meaning I probably won't go running off a cliff, but if I died tomorrow I wouldn't care).

That was that. I don't know what else to say. It's late. I just wonder what's left for me in this life. I keep failing at everything. The sad part? I used to be such a bright kid with big dreams... but now I'm scared to leave my own house.

Please share your experience if you have any that's similar and feel free to give any advice if you can cause I'm really lost. One thing in particular that I'm interested in is the ""fending for youself"" part. I just wanna know how people like me, who can't seem to functional normally in this society, will ever be able to surive it. How do adults who quit their jobs or can't find one fend for themselves? And how to deal with my fear and dislike towards other people? ",1.9990731504571928,4.005948155860352,4.073417456359106,84.9042093100582,78.66334164588528,7.419477971737324,25.15717373233583,8.364918446050245,1.7157308196176233,3079,116,636,63,75,1053,323,802,0.243,0.6409999999999999,0.115,-0.9991,11,3,2,0,0,1,100.0,0,3,4,11,40,63,7,9,32,1,59,5,0,12,9,145,125,68,5,19,30,4,11,10,0,4,4,4,7,3,28,37,0,5,34,4,5,7,29,36,3,3,14,16,92,28,98,96,17,73,0,9,1,1,28,42,1,14,32,419,120,22,0.09989223398340262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880676746965545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051729114242641934,0.0,0.11982567513968548,0.04155917043710608,0.0,0.0,0.06793014455937554,0.0,0.11462592837035265,0.0,0.0,0.034923486305661014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04692602103933526,0.03840548097680724,0.16681168574948047,0.15223344667521835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050923395007242064,0.051308420441601874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987791026534482,0.0,0.0,0.0322111135204818,0.051492253491806535,0.08603703475638036,0.0,0.10367236792493573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04172357180081608,0.0561826590521046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03298893921997061,0.09035824457631188,0.0,0.0,0.04488834940792611,0.04885688632632842,0.0,0.05620326746274382,0.2525425746390514,0.10704454787573242,0.0,0.0,0.13694953824063927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218956935641393,0.04791286655793321,0.08515658788530484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633714056387536,0.044741910407392116,0.14793435045829734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03347782940057646,0.0,0.20040011080054407,0.0,0.0,0.11526222622878347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982552572079309,0.08878880733535498,0.0552579783184363,0.0,0.1372453984741787,0.0,0.05634139546636593,0.05288572624423293,0.10853320450369892,0.0,0.07055683902680131,0.2440114988632737,0.050059130541420124,0.04410333635895463,0.04420074182501321,0.0,0.0,0.10904417351250836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667884185983035,0.0,0.0,0.10881192721978653,0.0,0.0,0.050333938475546805,0.0,0.15129402037245254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468645714511089,0.037034412884396094,0.0385215245044437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04893659008712328,0.04792464630776181,0.0,0.0,0.05319098453124298,0.10153434446773313,0.11395881789125445,0.0,0.0,0.22183700877937296,0.1081735549768858,0.04767922018951693,0.20775809231656894,0.0,0.05218306176721859,0.054825837919450365,0.0,0.16892022709849408,0.0,0.0,0.10770072344480457,0.14337506577185952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312384340973667,0.0,0.0,0.09599028446490802,0.0,0.0,0.05362343783660187,0.0,0.08530742201993223,0.0,0.07943831384429452,0.05000477627925028,0.10109627378305244,0.0,0.1364072071928384,0.052104692865708506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091377641021178,0.04231918284579269,0.0769019220134217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196611006428065,0.0,0.0,0.05221452594436471,0.0,0.10926589081220164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014479691264357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636396159476449,0.0,0.049071806354059465,0.11895491356801298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047725655179391833,0.0,0.033910134888139966,0.0,0.0,0.103991338465565,0.0,0.08627481746443241,0.0,0.08242155459735713,0.08837854158292517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472267238915722,0.04630055084004078,0.04506860196347191,0.0,0.0,0.04814627444865882,0.05416443331879283,0.1090841040760228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649098538465813
mentalhealth,Bxnnii,2019/01/14,"I made a video talking about what depression really feels like for those of you that don't completely understand. For those of you that would like to know a little bit more about what depression feels like I hope this helps. 

​

[What Depression Really Feels Like (From My Experience)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQzs8xXpfk8&t=4s)",10.70166666666666,13.693409351851855,6.7194444444444485,70.93250000000003,57.33333333333334,11.325925925925928,32.01851851851852,11.20814326018867,4.107385185185185,291,10,42,8,4,78,36,54,0.172,0.5720000000000001,0.257,0.5444,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,0,2,8,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,5,5,8,7,2,1,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,1,4,26,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3671116943038628,0.2058518979993304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495202751679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776233388582484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4377381905306017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256976614704262,0.3630799753925317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355206515578466,0.0,0.0,0.16826252275044454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310339833205084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33106100501493113,0.16979349481909325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16029999791647456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21705698429966214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361654765649696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763619603258352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034412332389367,0.0,0.2058518979993304,0.0
mentalhealth,reflected_self,2019/01/14,"A friend was sexually assaulted by a federal enforcement officer and is now in a bad state.. Where can she go for help? Hi all. So I couldn't find a better sub to post this in, so if there is one please let me know..

​

Less than three months ago, a friend of mine was assaulted by a federal park ranger after being pulled over for a routine traffic stop. We fell out of touch around that time, and I figured things just came up and she was going on with her life. I'm just finding out now that this is the reason why she became distant during this time. She was hospitalized after the incident and was kept there for nearly 6 weeks. I'm trying to get more details about what she was treated for and if it was her intention to seek further treatment, or if this was done for her safety or for psychological reasons. She said she was 'committed' so I'm assuming that means she was brought in and kept there beyond her control. She also claims the hospital attempted to cover up the assault and they did nothing to document any physical bruising or injuries. 

​

I honestly don't know how to ask her about these things or even how to help without having her revisit the trauma of being assaulted. Is there somewhere she can go, some public resource that can help her through this process? She doesn't trust the hospital, I'm not sure she has too many close friends or family in the area, and I'm honestly worried about her dealing with this on her own. I suggested the possibility of going through local law enforcement, but still, that's a lot for her to handle right now. Please help and thanks so much in advance for any thoughts or advice... 

​

​",5.950191073294518,6.950504652037619,6.018298253470673,78.97027168234071,66.74294670846396,9.336378563964773,32.745335124645464,9.48565724429506,2.9971360203015376,1340,56,246,26,21,424,171,319,0.066,0.841,0.093,0.8605,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,1,0,1,4,25,16,4,0,16,0,27,1,0,6,3,55,48,26,0,4,14,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,16,17,0,4,10,0,0,9,5,6,0,2,18,2,30,10,48,26,7,44,0,0,0,0,37,21,0,12,12,186,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486822973485954,0.07698675400654456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945343479407218,0.0,0.3764051598344295,0.4221261145907513,0.11812114207259547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731438024622772,0.0811924663523325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251562233376714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681123765534692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933257807445812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740898844551908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953791913437514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887709093692207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057363210423030886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187388609061863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875755864820246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129889587708644,0.0,0.04537522757123083,0.0,0.1974340646804795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328532917783597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546031922725216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888093969952048,0.061344300537983884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383625517055463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805166130515778,0.0,0.09460445872514624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932236347841644,0.0,0.06384430293183067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333434283140675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05885140196062221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19066912435235428,0.0,0.09790965053615236,0.08317771899633836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17859129844483174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416891412218059,0.08261366889232538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935804401847734,0.07260998829567893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185453284857168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995926007705,0.0,0.0,0.11539776614465527,0.0,0.0,0.06894872341256869,0.10128516857524723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058965042497764415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966535099987185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836807605918422,0.0,0.0,0.08371972356757314,0.0,0.0,0.08819978272982047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4221261145907513,0.0
mentalhealth,Theonelolhj,2019/01/14,So tired of these intrusive thoughts. I've been struggling with intrusive thoughts for awhile now lately during school or when I'm just stressed these thoughts of suicide come up one of the few thoughts that pop up is taking a gun to my mouth and just pulling the trigger. Now I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF OR DIE I know this is never the way and I would never do such a thing however sometimes these thoughts kinda get to me along with scaring me sometimes. Any help? I know I would never do it but damn are they scary sometimes.,2.594827890556047,5.186738650485439,2.267643424536629,95.48236540158872,79.97087378640776,4.910503089143866,25.86849073256841,6.11248444174946,0.6963281553398062,423,17,85,3,11,124,68,103,0.218,0.741,0.041,-0.949,1,0,0,1,0,2,5.0,0,0,1,0,7,5,2,3,5,0,9,2,1,1,3,26,21,7,3,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,7,0,0,2,4,5,0,1,6,0,10,0,12,13,1,12,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,3,7,60,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812023267524553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429063262230422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497473165819193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538409820394579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967126577325492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963239074309676,0.0,0.15859292535581193,0.0,0.16276222782290126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33384951307537153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777272979788364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445664189938653,0.14602633294152695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4281111420211971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528048133327422,0.15084029241865068,0.0,0.15782676011516722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848600531547567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585799346029256,0.0,0.0,0.5727395337698783,0.0,0.1658368920610709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510431924701517,0.114528450336482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20499495087438324,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hollowtavo,2019/01/14,"Mom's delusions of grandeur So three years ago during summer my mom who no longer lives with us must have had some type of psychotic break.

She storms in the house one day saying shes famous and snoop Dogg was gonna buy her a car and that she was gonna hang out with Kat von DE she then took us around the city trying to get free stuff one of which included two cars that were worth more than our house saying that she would endorse people's products and stuff like that.

She then got the idea that news crews were gonna come to our house and they were gonna film her because she had been doing so well in the city because of her buisness, (She did attempt to start a business selling protein mix but she never even  produced a product all she did was name it and found a logo she liked)

It progressively got worse as she started looking for hidden cameras in our rooms and calling us various names like cunts because we wouldn't reveal when her ""suprise"" was going to happen police were called to our house multiple times and she was sent to a psych ward almost every weekend.But my dad was forced to pick her up because we could not afford to keep her there so instead he got child services involved hence why she doesn't live with us.

One day she just stopped believing it or maybe she still does but she no longer says anything about it I don't know what the hell happened to her she was an alcoholic at the time and she has bipolar disorder she's always been a bit off and has the responsibility of a child, she was always throwing our money away on stupid stuff like clothes and opiates like vicadin and Xanax she no longer takes either from what I know anyone have an answer and can this type of thing suddenly stop? Or might she still believe it?",5.88519704433498,6.16970641954023,5.28377668308703,86.69603448275862,66.70114942528735,7.777996715927751,28.927750410509034,7.07126945348624,1.3763750410509032,1406,43,285,10,21,425,199,348,0.111,0.833,0.056,-0.9775,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,11,0,1,3,13,10,3,0,16,0,32,3,0,2,3,50,54,23,0,4,7,3,0,5,0,8,3,3,1,2,19,20,1,3,6,1,5,8,8,3,1,5,24,4,46,8,33,21,6,38,1,0,1,0,58,11,2,5,23,189,65,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344821182927819,0.08854951403258839,0.08296985977403333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788822539256868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579359200455758,0.0,0.06818469731696154,0.07376077938409463,0.0,0.0,0.07784738840781888,0.0,0.0,0.20203675469612464,0.0,0.0,0.18670415249321945,0.0,0.0,0.09045897617573694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921362924569733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137443590391933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615500527343285,0.0,0.0,0.10687252018130253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496192181105802,0.0,0.07250919355325333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05472662518022346,0.0,0.06981105292664466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084901831461943,0.0,0.0,0.04328964598468659,0.0,0.04708985068955674,0.0,0.19880623705255396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146541301866414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824259161653864,0.0,0.09353607969801388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364759058847628,0.0,0.0,0.09107267657105926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20240004913329854,0.0,0.146329455580232,0.0,0.06957946724938142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324153795844713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789875841375779,0.0,0.1940835040286429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390484455617974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843924491035134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744298702944301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19767492966584405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729398968035605,0.0,0.1323402804773525,0.13854523080188771,0.0,0.0,0.2845561870042472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229855999197921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055046869307528105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966297983682558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205777811732922,0.05625483224724643,0.0,0.08093977906534502,0.0,0.3986696851840385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449888123568482,0.0,0.074766044176361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443891422771331,0.058859620685465575,0.0,0.0,0.05335754059065406
mentalhealth,Awessu,2019/01/14,"Is There A Supplement That Shuts The Part Of Your Brain Which Makes You Stressed out? Am 18.

Stressing out because of the most smallest things.

I need something.",2.421379310344829,5.253140103448279,0.9133793103448262,98.84455172413792,96.24137931034485,3.6993103448275866,26.4896551724138,5.6839178017228535,0.7392427586206898,129,6,24,1,5,35,26,29,0.16399999999999998,0.836,0.0,-0.5994,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,2,1,1,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921123739383842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518113682529289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21036491784363232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233679560307617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34127648847595204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426176888371653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7220059907320291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209371502852556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,burningman1994,2019/01/14,"Can’t shake anxiety today. I had an anxiety attack Sunday morning that has been on and off anxiety lasting into today. The anxiety attacks come and go in waves but I just feel uneasy and dissociated as a whole. 

Coming online just to check in and maybe ask what others do to pull themselves out of it? ",3.8596551724137953,5.978986344827588,5.820206896551727,73.9954827586207,73.48275862068967,8.088275862068969,27.11724137931035,8.841846274778883,2.4900372413793104,240,9,40,5,5,83,47,58,0.235,0.765,0.0,-0.8462,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,1,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,12,10,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,1,5,1,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,10,8,1,15,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,4,32,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6062609797178093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18522032833366125,0.45079206199348204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413346539602261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017806021150368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259912380810802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614984912445484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19904340534762355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755990697101384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22119972380007988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aspdthrow,2019/01/14,"Looking for a Therapist in Harlem NYC I am a sociopath. This is a throwaway account and I will log out and never return to it once this is posted, though I will monitor the thread for responses. I am looking for an intelligent therapist in NYC that deals with ASPD. I will not allow myself to be caged so I will not say anything that could or would incriminate me. I do not now nor have I had a job in over a decade and all funds that I have are gained through manipulation which means I would like this therapy to be free unless of course you don't mind me hurting someone to pay you. Comment below if you know a therapist. ",4.996419999999997,5.542781232000003,5.98535,79.98042500000003,68.67999999999999,9.13,30.825,9.188382445141503,2.5123,494,19,99,9,8,164,80,125,0.044,0.841,0.115,0.8553,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,1,3,3,0,0,8,0,19,0,0,2,2,21,23,9,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,6,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,0,4,0,6,1,0,0,1,3,16,3,17,13,1,10,0,1,2,0,6,6,0,2,4,82,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901410490613334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457831865198958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866863981565524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19385078790111293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969479569212668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995172957764692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846695326475612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30412460390677665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972501239663864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18284003133566168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966070959349774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19284518822076246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342539246417138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400275460444645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342921085531264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20708172560718074,0.6307464474505151,0.0,0.0,0.1779110090944629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572692711617373,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,erykaWaltz,2019/01/14,"i dont know if my thoughts or convictions are real anymore i dont know if i truly believe what i thought i believe, i don't know what i truly want in life, how can i say im interested in something if suddenly one day i lose all interet in move to another hobby, person, job, personality.....  


i dont know where reality ends and my over interpretation begins. i cant trust my memories, i can't trust my perceptions of people, world, things that were said to me, my own thoughts  


the only thing i can trust are my emotions, ""i am certainly feeling sad now"" or ""im definitely feeling angry now"" or ""im definitely laughing now"" but as far as higher cognitive functions go i think like im trapped in my own mind  


one day i can say i care and like someone, the other day i no longer give a shit about that person. one day i can say some memory was important, next day its just memory and maybe it was fake and never happened.   


one day one week one month i dedicate myself with passion to a hobby, then suddenly it all ends and i dont care anymore and i dont understand why i cared and worked so hard, lie someone switching a button in my head  


what is this mental illness called",2.679177215189874,4.403069691983127,4.814622362869201,81.65028797468356,75.70886075949366,7.946751054852321,27.883755274261603,8.697196308434329,2.1984297046413506,915,38,184,19,20,317,125,237,0.16399999999999998,0.696,0.14,-0.7909,1,1,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,8,16,1,0,5,0,19,5,2,1,4,38,39,19,0,4,8,0,3,2,0,0,2,4,0,3,12,8,0,0,13,0,0,2,10,4,0,6,7,7,33,12,14,32,5,30,0,2,0,1,9,9,1,7,21,118,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826440753964209,0.0,0.0,0.1563259904828497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775943345393026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047861142767371,0.0,0.2410704903131857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049737327533607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4618511538143162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865591910400084,0.13961284540951388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970215167904954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756062331913034,0.04479220512822105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969557088033702,0.0,0.07060248227050796,0.0,0.08088661091037695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405335633975552,0.0,0.07821141941977375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17325797176297722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0556691470155664,0.07700975378757201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817347910876623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917995043144742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942667102202011,0.0,0.07958037027415464,0.0,0.06290913434666946,0.08376754342749711,0.0,0.0,0.060786748399741575,0.0,0.08382031791371937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320441245796532,0.059942123961445326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054640182980473406,0.20645384422928453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897083729849154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497081943602082,0.188029816800052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090214761941182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355886368583947,0.06067539959830987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472195709195542,0.05050127153604147,0.0,0.18771018268339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204887278448011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04648694671570479,0.0,0.06322039101744335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111799970340323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737803365938535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Megb0mb,2019/01/14,"I’m just having a hard time and felt really depressed these last few days. I posted this in the depression subreddit but no one even answered me which didn’t make me feel any better to be honest. 

am currently coming off of suboxone. I wasn’t an addict prior to suboxone and if you don’t know what suboxone is, it’s for opiate abusers. It is kind of hard to explain but it is an opiate but it basically blocks the receptors that cause you to crave drugs mostly opiates. 

I’ve been on it for 4 years and have been tapering off of it for a little over a year. I am currently down to 0.25mg and I plan to go as low as I can before I officially jump off it and stop taking it. I’ve been on this dose for about 2 months and on Thursday when I see my psychiatrist, I plan to go down on my dose a little bit more. I am on Luvox for my anxiety and depression but it has really stopped helping. I am hesitant to switch my medicines around right now because I worry that I won’t know if the new medicine is making me feel better or making me feel worse or if it’s the decrease of the Suboxone. 

I don’t know why my depression has suddenly hit me really hard the last few days (currently in tears right this. Ughhh). I’m scared of what’s going to happen when I get off of it. I know for a few weeks I’m going to feel sick and very off chemically. The only way to lesson feeling really shitty is by doing what I am doing and tapering very low. 

I have a therapist that I will be talking to on Friday but I’m wondering if maybe I should ask to talk to her tomorrow or Wednesday. I just need encouragement. I need to know I’ll be ok and this will pass but telling myself isn’t helping today. I have a great support system but I just needed to write this and hope someone can sympathize and understand. Thanks!",3.1032603686635944,4.306146599462366,5.007557603686635,82.82419354838713,73.59677419354837,8.647619047619049,25.651305683563752,9.140100540675403,1.9783337941628267,1413,46,294,31,28,486,173,372,0.172,0.72,0.109,-0.969,3,0,1,0,2,0,25.0,0,2,0,5,9,17,0,1,16,1,35,5,0,4,0,61,73,30,0,9,17,0,9,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,24,14,0,3,16,0,0,7,7,7,0,1,6,10,37,10,49,59,6,57,0,6,1,0,12,23,0,10,24,201,61,0,0.0,0.11026402742957317,0.0,0.1014520295684482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328579606470748,0.0,0.07119267568792183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284549260664806,0.0870010190793177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567301301830408,0.0,0.07918946427867438,0.0,0.0,0.16461270984821774,0.10160031529693894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095600981082303,0.0,0.08016523620487777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003542606876455,0.0,0.3206189105542213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079231333568193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614670053599333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23527637074720945,0.0,0.0893547421405297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04862139576499792,0.0,0.2115586038935518,0.0,0.0,0.10260190472146463,0.0,0.0,0.08229499770551807,0.0,0.2500975762045686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475587077734472,0.0,0.0,0.09243221387530663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691043341227827,0.25572400456367383,0.1517169680504717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18654645575510645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636013283103026,0.0,0.09349394454730507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428172265930734,0.0,0.0,0.2070143365406327,0.0,0.08988049127158136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306166292081848,0.07077834203181392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912829776560505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384732769717425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894999628745074,0.0,0.0,0.09317195169822988,0.0,0.07415888648140978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788516848470114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556090918496878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560639706757838,0.0,0.0,0.0699715341176731,0.14960047248255195,0.08134086161460657,0.08567958856359714,0.0,0.1080529142516452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426558201488756,0.0,0.08821251458738248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688150498303924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357287193832658,0.0,0.07386880314064076,0.07464924769258592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397457038498543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092247862000077,0.0,0.09450964264061112,0.09483879512631424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985859616513632
mentalhealth,itsatightlips,2019/01/14,"I keep repeating the same phrase over and over in my head On my phone so I'm sorry about formatting. 

So yeah, as the title suggests I've been repeating the same thing in my head over and over. It started maybe a year ago and it's not voluntary. It just pops into my head every so often. Its driving me insane. I have to listen to calming music at night and take sleeping pills (prescribed) to get to sleep so I'm not thinking about it. 
I also hallucinate at night. Very vivid where I need to get out of bed to prove to myself it's not real. 

It started as me thinking *my name* has collapsed. Just popping into my head and said in the 3rd person like it's someone else saying it to someone. This continued for about the last year but now the phrase has changed and it's proper concerning me. 
It's now changed the past few weeks to *my name's* hung herself.

I've already been to the doctor who sent me to a CPN. They only concentrated on my confidence...... I have no problem with confidence. In fact, if anyone who knows me even knew I was going through this, they'd be surprised. This is because I work hard and juggle that along with having kids. I come across as a hard working confident person. So saying my confidence needs boosting is a joke. 
Anyway the CPN said they would refer me and I received a letter saying I didn't need any support and discharged me. 

I have no intention of committing suicide. Not even a little. I'm confused to why I'm repeating this. I'm scared to tell anyone in case they think I'm crazy. I feel like I'm crazy.

Anyone else get this? Like why's it happening?",1.115856442408166,3.6221108275862086,2.6921630094043927,90.3296857165823,86.49216300940438,5.2780644642713614,21.972590627763037,6.788186056548923,0.7099143316453658,1250,44,248,16,39,408,157,319,0.118,0.775,0.107,-0.4233,0,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,4,2,18,10,0,2,15,1,15,8,6,1,3,48,46,20,1,6,8,0,3,3,0,1,2,6,1,3,21,16,0,1,8,1,0,5,7,3,0,0,8,10,34,7,43,35,3,40,0,0,1,0,24,19,0,3,19,162,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724552994232734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861157928549844,0.07870836747330058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669306153409226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645771712542893,0.10084539231633856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059997388950267565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082357235123453,0.0847821931900301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073950939627638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443859220166265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300141500218368,0.0,0.08292512719811483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976532886838882,0.07031299093783333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426494440988658,0.0,0.055935724995795605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703461405902753,0.0,0.1763342983895874,0.0,0.4040391591146884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748236219558783,0.0,0.0,0.05409038377392402,0.08022740220328854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425265727121733,0.09864511351481868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988785419212084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189369146101999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847255330559057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485467955804702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939553291681982,0.0,0.17187730799851822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417695623350346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120262524861271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724450500609946,0.23480835769148145,0.09853800453582187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19698698336801726,0.0,0.16678598092004168,0.0,0.0,0.11017583249072924,0.13932777985798794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765814433741497,0.11168858700052912,0.0,0.0,0.07400140515030855,0.0,0.08602552640184781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538747730937809,0.1891953228351948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120879768973176,0.0,0.0,0.07894852231444102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17762183675812376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433053765664584,0.0,0.0,0.06991645774636529,0.0,0.0,0.1267616130960776
mentalhealth,Mango_Parfait,2019/01/14,"An Iceberg lettuce can sometimes fix you So.  It needs to be sort of an old one.  Sort of soft and to be kind and not wasteful .. from the reduced section or back of your fridge...

Then

You need to FUCKING SMASH IT.  hard as you can on the sideboard.  With a baseball bat in the yard or garden .. whatever, again and again.   

OR....

If your partner pisses you off.  FUCKING THROW IT AT THEIR HEADS, it won’t hurt them, and they’ll appreciate it isn’t a plate or something hard, in fact they’ll enjoy the joy you then get from picking up all the little green pieces and the fact this can literally take you hours.   Also they will much prefer this to the Big Mac and cheese.... followed by ketchup covered fries..,, and then the thick strawberry milkshake of yesterday.  

So my friends.  The iceberg lettuce. It’s due for a stock pile in my book.  We need loads of em.   

😉👍",1.7122023809523803,4.0935458154761895,2.3785714285714303,94.63309523809528,81.91666666666667,4.923809523809523,24.214285714285715,6.139981653823899,0.4859499999999999,659,25,139,5,18,204,107,168,0.058,0.85,0.092,0.7924,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,1,8,5,0,6,8,3,0,14,0,10,4,2,1,3,25,18,19,0,5,6,0,4,0,2,4,0,0,2,1,8,9,0,0,1,3,0,2,3,4,0,1,0,5,16,4,22,12,4,23,0,1,1,2,16,11,3,7,10,95,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16612783519169055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597375372198396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604977008345746,0.3841004778599117,0.10853442094101096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721845110234928,0.0,0.21319890435779695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20457987704443728,0.0,0.2223876001709945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163269401886631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820783973208987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271117788249078,0.4621048159851422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21798586479926985,0.0,0.14076850244631287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599266994900342,0.2054579856349309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619296440031286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zingzingzingg,2019/01/14,"Imaginary friends 
Im a teenager. I have 4 imaginary friends.  When I’m alone at school, home and anywhere, I imagine we’re all hanging out as a group. When I lie in bed at night, I imagine us hanging out some more. 
I spend most of the day imagining us all together.  Sometimes it hits me hard that they aren’t real and I become miserable. 
Yes I am always fully aware that they are not real, but I put that thought to the back of my mind when imagining them. 
I’m alone most days so I imagine them to make me less lonely. 
I properly imagine our friendship in detail. I imagine us posting pictures together on instagram, I even imagine the captions we’d use and comments we’d post on eachother’s posts. 

Sometimes during the day, I get an idea. A fun thing to do. And I think about how fun it would be. And for a split second, I think I’m actually able to do that with these friends and then it hits me. 

Sometimes when Im walking home and I imagine the 5 of us all walking and talking and then it hits me I’m the only one there, as though I’m someone whose friends all died, but mine were never alive in the first place. 

Is this good or bad for my mental health?",0.9070712729536295,3.2256180420168086,2.4738281979458456,93.02661842514784,84.96638655462183,5.2065981948334885,25.201369436663555,6.605766666666668,0.8992151882975409,906,39,192,10,27,295,129,238,0.093,0.7759999999999999,0.131,0.9006,1,4,0,0,0,0,25.0,7,0,4,1,11,10,0,1,12,1,12,1,0,3,5,44,26,23,1,1,4,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,3,0,12,12,0,0,13,0,1,5,3,3,0,3,2,1,34,7,22,17,9,31,0,2,0,0,19,10,0,4,13,128,46,1,0.10119381225487198,0.0,0.09875056337784492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20961254207811533,0.0,0.0,0.08420135826333608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781179530274245,0.08449260636445642,0.0,0.11176061524145546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957849120475325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502320067801332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668375586127697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607540500911116,0.0,0.0,0.3127283533040376,0.0,0.052869590282594615,0.0,0.0,0.0848765686114832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064977928999396,0.0,0.0,0.10756429039093436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301128906152255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423549668258885,0.2186133643612574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754765546295706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197956171425814,0.0,0.1021769032642287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804690641159978,0.0,0.0,0.09496353774435724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857154610034681,0.07696245418765195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057259958013091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290747098760473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172773123463648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303614249819075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241354048172692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574118873722023,0.0,0.30024980351744324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133575313698556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722867236331857,0.12968181773174012,0.09942240675136374,0.08033658347185156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4868947859085546,0.08739896318936782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188518083354857,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alina-a,2019/01/14,"Nope no suicide for you I just don’t know where to vent.. going to get deleted anyways. 
My “problem”: 
I’ve been suicidal for the past 2-3 years. Sometimes more that other times. But pretty much all time I wished I was dead or that I could kill myself. 
I always found a reason not to do it. Maybe my family, my mother who loves me.. my cat, or just an album from my favorite artist... something always kept me from ending it all. And it’s not that I really found happiness in those things. But it just didn’t seem right. 
Last Friday everything changed. I just stopped caring. Honestly my cat probably doesn’t give a shit. I cried in school. At work. At home in my bed. And I made a plan to kill myself on Wednesday. 
Now is Monday. I planed everything. I wrote my last will. Made a voice memo in which I explained why I just couldn’t take it anymore. And I planed to kill myself in school in the break and if it would take longer maybe in my biology class. I checked which room is the best. 
Can somebody look inside? Are there any classes in the room next door? How much time do I have?  And I’ve found one. 
I planned to hang myself. On a card holder(?). 
Fuck it everything was going great!!! I finally had the courage to just do it after more that two and a half years! Finally I would leave this shit pile of life, where I have the greatest fucking family and I still hate fucking everything. Finally I would be free!! 
Oh fuck 

Well guess what! Guess who is a fucking wimp a shit kind of coward!!
It’s fucking me!!!!! 
I can’t do it. I lost all that small shitty courage that I found in those 3 years of pain and wishing to die. 
And I’m not fucking healed. This just means that I probably going to wait another 3 years, living through this shit somehow. 
Just because I’m not going to kill myself doesn’t mean that I’m better! 
I would be better if I was dead!!

It just getting worse. And I wish I would find the courage till Wednesday again. Because I swear you I’m fucking out. ",0.7742579764903468,3.178600617128464,2.0512421284634748,95.08745933039465,86.90931989924435,5.021179680940387,20.109624265323266,6.528864054313183,0.17853824517212447,1523,47,327,17,48,485,187,397,0.202,0.657,0.141,-0.9838,0,0,1,0,0,7,68.0,0,2,0,7,19,35,17,0,16,0,31,16,4,4,3,65,76,18,9,13,19,1,0,0,0,6,3,1,5,0,31,11,0,3,11,1,2,5,12,21,1,3,15,2,50,15,34,51,9,50,0,1,1,9,9,20,12,8,24,215,81,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290195701228512,0.0,0.0,0.04204935241588719,0.06483851316364626,0.0,0.0,0.06132287609924216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538706581890155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489114104345074,0.1093745876478276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630440519967189,0.0,0.06541234739100155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936954906347765,0.0,0.06792192647246033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417410065798948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054766716618690064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22229024076008444,0.0,0.11658349485875336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20320891517039225,0.05651530636388012,0.0,0.0,0.27119188025239765,0.0,0.4573175114534085,0.06461159794479937,0.059316965221203714,0.14056712319202402,0.0,0.0,0.06817238493394133,0.13623460744157095,0.0,0.0,0.06582361818117162,0.0,0.06104843612690125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202470889686844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27364136722193266,0.06439076729259588,0.0339824398451282,0.10080619433942598,0.0,0.06547345232484009,0.0,0.0,0.043675299218533935,0.0,0.0,0.05460070033129758,0.0,0.05192512506016647,0.0,0.06749929520492641,0.0,0.055807747856541225,0.11701796355365715,0.0,0.0,0.12424145914199672,0.13471106544510295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091045164725164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576133570810176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04190043031738293,0.0,0.06579591092994229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059027706938302775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290757533728236,0.1333353757732154,0.059166944782246836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03961254929503994,0.06357581983166315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280603884291102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515895179704492,0.0,0.056291501262301376,0.0,0.0,0.2538875261524511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04760296097081011,0.06115557003619864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938084384617882,0.051696130484109176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527308029742702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298319307498183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041079871490241206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816799617393502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040299410811668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05559634009758552,0.0,0.05579571600048416,0.0,0.21331871357054036,0.0,0.0,0.045016008381519285,0.0,0.06301429652377312,0.21962608265830974,0.0,0.0,0.15927669915278067
mentalhealth,tinavons,2019/01/14,"Cried through first therapy, dreading to go to another session...  So, I went to the therapist today for the first time. I was nervous enough because things I haven’t experienced before put me in a really really stressful situation. 

A little backstory: for the past few years I’ve been experiencing little to no motivation for work and study, which made me fail the same class for three years. I want to succeed and even if I do sit down and try to study, my mind wanders off in about 5-10 minutes. The same concentration levels are seen when I work or even when I work on something I consider my hobby. Not to mention my hobbies change every two weeks because of the switch of interest. I sleep a lot, am always tired and most importantly I can’t get up in the morning no matter where I put my alarm clock. There are some shaking and heavy breathing occurring in new and social situations, but long story short, based on my extensive googling over the past few years if I may say so, I figured I should go see a therapist for potential diagnosis of ADD or depression as I thought I was showing some signs. Long story short, I thought I had problems and sought help. 

I wrote a forum like counseling site here in our country and got an answer from some therapist and he said I should message him and we could do it in person. Of course, we made the appointment for yesterday and without extensive story concluded I am grossly lazy and that he would disown me if I was his daughter. He also mentioned that it’s my own life and I should chase the goals I have, even after I told him I don’t have any goals in the long term as I don’t see myself living past 30. He added that it’s my life and if I want to commit suicide, it’s me who makes a decision. As I am a really sensitive person and cry a lot in my average day (and am trying to solve that as well), I started crying to which he commented I should suck it up and save my tears for sad opportunities.

Now I am wondering if every first visit is like that? I do have an appointment next week, but I am already dreading to go and have cried the whole day yesterday. Is this the ‘harsh’ reality I have to face with therapy or will I feel better if I go for a few times and/or will I toughen up? I am really considering canceling, but I know/hope this could help me in the long term, I am just in doubts how? 

Any advice much much appreciated ☺️ sorry for my English, I am not a native speaker. ",5.299106529209624,5.6459908865979385,6.432113402061857,77.74212199312716,67.96907216494846,9.930584192439865,31.218213058419245,9.888512548439397,2.8871182130584194,1920,73,381,42,30,646,239,485,0.141,0.765,0.094,-0.9755,0,0,1,0,0,2,45.0,3,0,0,14,16,20,1,7,26,0,40,6,3,6,1,77,64,40,1,16,16,1,1,2,0,8,3,3,0,2,16,22,0,0,9,1,0,9,9,12,1,5,15,9,64,8,53,39,18,67,0,3,3,0,27,25,1,18,34,269,80,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398267121753471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354756889831796,0.060545043149259375,0.06299655973802219,0.0,0.0,0.10297042421054574,0.0793882523993306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092303896509328,0.0,0.06442340332926844,0.0,0.0,0.06695910305918977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009085482270324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208961165411181,0.0,0.3326543302209936,0.09765302414744474,0.0,0.0652086788873116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822838882897226,0.0,0.1500166864550322,0.0,0.12757742449862924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038281113945042335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931959711388184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03955520874314066,0.0,0.1721103355169633,0.0,0.06055198671782354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149327128289944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04160808722990145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695204158140108,0.07397589895673076,0.15176207678921216,0.06685307801770547,0.26800291185391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287314088507111,0.0,0.14327675285222374,0.05053683218775813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764452441515291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113107245826808,0.0,0.0,0.07312092831244506,0.08051815599372861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168205099866068,0.0,0.1322136306877265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244398609534862,0.0,0.1522183781808828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19400636493180848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720172898955225,0.0602074154867121,0.0,0.0,0.12066170412338267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020181564022754,0.0757644059375566,0.07717653464638201,0.0,0.0582850484397757,0.0,0.08475084347823085,0.05358773605775723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672523908977697,0.0,0.0,0.08281415564220758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17316134719206078,0.2637144930507335,0.050298180005581325,0.0,0.0,0.1202101363734602,0.08829390396530458,0.0870171964522618,0.07176397084785341,0.07234389079288281,0.0,0.10280387292320813,0.0,0.07395740444922902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931111979747387,0.0,0.12145955617030292,0.0,0.06807213899255203,0.07018367754265185,0.0,0.08452720898692723,0.0,0.0729814773145734,0.08210397183955567,0.1653527538354858,0.0,0.0,0.053782019459786216,0.0,0.0,0.14626375023929658
mentalhealth,throwawayadvice102,2019/01/14,"Can an OCD theme be on physical fights? Since about summer 2017 after experiencing severe marijuana withdrawals, I developed a bad case of anxiety that manifested partly through obsessive thoughts and compulsions.

Off and on since then I have experienced obsessions around being physically attacked, being punched, people picking fights with me, or me doing those things to other people. At its worst, this obsession, which involves multiple scenarios and thoughts (although usually the same handful or very similar in nature) will consume my entire waking day and lasting for weeks. In the past three months or so I have been unable to figure it out or get out of it.

This cycle has been taking place for roughly 85 - 90% of the last three months.

Prior to that I experienced constant OCD over a relationship that lasted two months over summer 2018.

I want to think this is fighting OCD and not indicitive that I am going to find myself in a real life situation involving a physical altercation. At times I find myself fighting (in my mind) the content of the obsession, which of course means trying to stop the people who may want to attack me, be aggressive, etc. I'm unsure if I'm genuinely upset over aggressive people and want to stop them, or I am mistaking struggling against the obsessions (which are laced with extreme anxiety and feel real) with trying to stop the thoughts themselves regardless of the content.

I am almost certain this is OCD, I guess I just want certainty before finally overcoming it through exposure and response prevention (ERP). Can OCD manifest in this form?

I feel so many number of things about this. For the most part, I am almost certain this is OCD. It is always accompanied by extreme anxiety. I am unable to control it. When it happens my brain feels locked up on it as is characteristic of OCD. It causes brain fog. I feel mild guilt and shame from getting caught up in an episode. It sounds like OCD, but I have never read that OCD can center on this. Sometimes I cannot tell whether the thoughts are me or synthetic. I cannot tell if I'm angry and resistant to the OCD or the content within the thought. Any advice is much appreciated. ",7.446470588235292,8.59381888491049,7.500392838874685,69.14505473145782,63.47570332480819,10.654976982097187,36.100358056265996,10.621296500359557,4.196759918158568,1748,80,278,43,25,563,203,391,0.133,0.825,0.042,-0.9751,0,0,0,0,6,0,46.0,0,0,1,1,7,23,8,9,20,0,31,5,4,3,3,68,56,27,0,8,13,0,6,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,31,16,0,5,14,1,0,2,4,20,0,3,8,10,28,3,56,42,8,49,0,0,0,0,11,24,0,14,24,206,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870825802256726,0.0,0.0,0.1784724883848514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415118806939583,0.0,0.0,0.06060155763246575,0.0,0.20451921159211128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933163848738581,0.0,0.20276336472301096,0.0,0.0,0.07440767315664927,0.0,0.0,0.07583067894826448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989646148899314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154610868536338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630213582643372,0.099950547778709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747208886656074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938727635819147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802377838694291,0.0,0.0,0.09762161267337034,0.16289980220637734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311828248508476,0.0,0.05064636033569949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981707082281652,0.0,0.07880449257864039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21792294214959693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629448733604552,0.04353730440959618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903490727162019,0.0,0.09707284330516636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998119420590572,0.0,0.2133932909135316,0.0,0.06551010489299315,0.0,0.06873132399434262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930066826373528,0.0850707746591198,0.2471257119952841,0.0,0.0931066714383476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913955963069548,0.20286576962743966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567663603793294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067508570782104,0.0,0.14743443188748648,0.10016949253876337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813745252102217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22351350384111107,0.0,0.0931628108196796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700372312814977,0.0,0.15578165147743048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840868201858673,0.05710157801572253,0.0,0.3537385401339703,0.05196393188405262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100707319720698,0.0,0.08705283953989018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814807112914532,0.0735295739982314,0.2102503904445352,0.0,0.07148303359630602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CantSeeShit,2019/01/14,"My job is making me regret getting my life together...(long post and need some help here) So back in November I checked into a mental health crisis center for persistant suicidal thoughts. Was suffering with them for a few years but from August-September. Then in October on a vacation I got raped by someone I thought I trusted and considered a friend and when I got back to work, the suicidal thoughts got scary to the point where I was scared I'd actually follow through with the thoughts. They were so bad that I was having depressive breakdowns almost daily and fucking up my job. I'm a mechanic so concentration is key as I deal with people's safety.

So I call the suicide hotline and they tell me to check out this health crisis center so I go immediately. After an assessment they find out I'm bipolar which made a lot sense. So after I find out I'm ready to tackle this diagnosis and get into treatment while I'm still working and I was good for a few days but after that, it jsut got worse. The depressive breakdowns were happening nearly everyday and I was making mistakes at work that could compromise people's safety which I never would want to happen. I decided to do what everyone would encourage and take my mental health seriously so I put in a medical leave and checked myself into an outpatient facility.

The treatment was great and I'm discharged now as of Friday and made amazing improvements to my life. The suicidal thoughts are gone, I cleaned up a lot of mental stress and no longer feel worthless, and I got sober from drugs and alcohol and am 15 days clean, and I even hit the gym everyday. My parents are insanely proud of me and I have a whole new relationship with them and my friends are also just as proud. Everyone in my life for once is talking about how great I'm doing and have been a constant source of encouragement. I feel like a new man, it's amazing. While I still have some obstacles and stresses Ih my life I now have the mental capacity to finally take action on them especially now that I'm sober. My dreams in life are actually a possibility now.

That said my job is making it very difficult to come back and it's really shitty and it's almost making me question if I should have taken this step in my life. I hate it so much, I finally wake up and become an adult and do what I think is the right thing but now I'm being thrown into a state of regret. I feel so great right now as a person and am so proud of myself.

I don't get society. Everyone tells you how much you need to take your mental health seriously and that people will be supportive of you but as soon as you do, then everything changes and you become a risk. It's really fucked up. My work is asking for paperwork the facility cannot provide and refuses to talk to the facility while telling me they can't wait for me to come back.

Its so shitty because if I try and find a new job I'll lose my insurance, my fmla benefits, and possibly need to make a career change which would devastate me since I finally found a career I enjoy with every ounce of me.

So what should I do here guys?

",5.111262435815147,6.081225011513162,6.20492779204108,76.98888478818998,68.6217105263158,9.879075738125804,30.2897946084724,10.039904901763897,3.0021839216944795,2469,94,468,60,41,825,260,608,0.19,0.669,0.141,-0.9885,5,0,2,0,0,1,42.0,0,6,7,9,35,38,4,4,34,0,44,18,1,9,1,98,100,64,4,15,7,1,3,1,2,6,14,1,2,4,24,45,1,2,15,2,3,8,5,20,0,0,25,4,71,18,68,65,9,72,0,7,0,3,35,27,2,9,36,328,95,10,0.0,0.0,0.10663174548903796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838819279680425,0.10941810854043063,0.0,0.0,0.0436915847932119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107634400978121,0.0,0.0,0.16804375122438364,0.04561793770779401,0.03330498510950762,0.1206801163708485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055788437216090316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559315817218205,0.0941264188708585,0.0,0.05904101884773411,0.0,0.04362159684983975,0.0,0.0,0.07047010230603565,0.0563262795809372,0.09411408018438758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335924733158456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03608589812209865,0.0,0.04603233865437945,0.1566182336870677,0.04910240953194953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287528337134649,0.039031250478760035,0.0,0.17954989547218125,0.1498061835776896,0.0,0.0,0.05990445068735454,0.08442172134534767,0.1010183427609544,0.08563358783411493,0.0,0.03105032603366614,0.04582524064968053,0.21848297766979047,0.18070582058934045,0.0,0.0540972335516416,0.09662708914384273,0.0,0.0,0.05394074524798368,0.0,0.2322977741967672,0.0,0.0,0.03662068467987791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21686720406714044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578505697511873,0.0,0.0,0.2315418711672719,0.02669189824470061,0.0,0.0,0.04835025023942048,0.0,0.061122582958633986,0.0,0.09289743590544083,0.0,0.10339390428224636,0.1823464130059642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503900834857881,0.275296117253294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032601363432253,0.1215334668490058,0.04213787534986159,0.15830045235803794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05818448529095412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066569498601392,0.0,0.0,0.11363107651607528,0.04770516920576239,0.0,0.0,0.05164772872032311,0.12318549287469238,0.05232522154173783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492325904351587,0.061203696848322275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000115205917243,0.0,0.0,0.058657536752708864,0.0,0.0933159723488948,0.05197039038010884,0.0,0.05469915993355085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519463144390997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046292052939345775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726315322804643,0.0,0.12516840158363707,0.0,0.0,0.23904726234316154,0.061999143496693464,0.0,0.0,0.1232361477591939,0.08782707694008032,0.14326017811671712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03629706219286053,0.03500789795501342,0.0,0.2168704113983628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03709357444689403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045079591714556964,0.03222513488006135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099801943622945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909970470929952,0.0,0.0556777262681091,0.1164333960974062,0.0,0.0,0.03518314472086042
mentalhealth,potato_trash21,2019/01/14,":) always remember ALWAAYS that you matter. your existence matter. i care about each and one of you and you are not alone going through this. i've had nightmares, rough past and people that abandoned me and it is very hard to move on, i know. i've been dealing with insomnia, anxiety and uh yea i do have a therapist and u know every night my last thoughts before i sleep are always about my past and how things would or could've been and it's really REALLY hArd to get them out of my head i swEar. sometimes i wouldn't go to school for days and i would try to avoid people or distance myself from people  because there's always this tiny voice in my head that is stopping me from doing things i love, keeping me insecure, making me feel like im not good enough and shit and Idk who needs to hear this but you’re not what you perceive yourself be, you have so much life to live and enjoy and you are better then you think you are, you are beautiful even if you don’t think you are, the right person can see it, so don’t let the people who you think was right but wasn’t stop you from believing because you are a KING/QUEEN and you deserve only best and don’t let the worst drag down keep smiling and keep being amazing, I believe in you and I’m happy you’re still here and I’m happy you’re still trying. 🦄🌸🎀💕 my dm is always open if you need any help and im not good with advices but i will listen to your problems and i will not judge you for who you are.",1.9376470588235293,3.686032895424837,3.0594117647058816,93.31401960784315,77.8888888888889,5.840522875816994,20.483660130718953,6.605766666666668,0.13545620915032686,1150,28,253,10,27,369,159,306,0.107,0.7290000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9798,0,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,21,1,2,10,17,1,2,5,1,33,7,4,2,0,63,56,31,0,8,12,0,4,1,0,5,2,3,0,1,15,25,0,7,9,0,0,3,10,6,1,1,6,8,43,11,24,41,5,21,0,1,1,1,31,8,1,4,11,167,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120713056320863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966682351905631,0.0,0.0,0.3106530410162837,0.0,0.0,0.06347186963218422,0.0,0.07140199714656195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379385742459963,0.0,0.07942229797977594,0.2103160461209056,0.09795066530055342,0.08254835294007877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095162555890124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452142308790563,0.0,0.0,0.06019417774954022,0.09622560416731052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644132546517803,0.0,0.061647731299727775,0.0,0.07863983971969987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04719362656458147,0.06667945560522003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876435290748913,0.0,0.10609031537004564,0.15657208324194938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987164068826645,0.16722194383029085,0.0,0.1915798973533786,0.0,0.10519676870520264,0.0,0.0625613396545796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20163839350794924,0.0,0.0,0.2488847171108646,0.0,0.0,0.10259035479550374,0.07608152394293745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908853358267796,0.06592617338615757,0.04559939080084288,0.0,0.0824176434152335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423963492664542,0.0,0.062302690288741025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992016922872816,0.06861290369096397,0.13841533485613305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758977406779779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324707748965308,0.07098644526225259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178200077015178,0.2588304919430364,0.08149763774353448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931021264276415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958721931248067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573180807876313,0.15941734274903874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446129625484333,0.07437692922442259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958083480204658,0.0,0.0,0.0934036842772562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231196547875807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907694425028534,0.15606661534868405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837061257388016,0.12401695141209025,0.17941835443834955,0.0,0.07409857891584687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267384119254162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701220426099291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326068277907526,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CateBlanket,2019/01/14,"Distance Therapy / Online Counseling Does anyone know where to find these resources? The only thing I can find through all of my internet searches are how to get a certificate to be a counselor, nothing actually pointing me in the direction of being the patient.
TIA! (&hope right place)",5.145986394557824,8.655552204081634,5.415408163265305,70.7825680272109,77.9795918367347,8.164625850340135,38.77891156462585,8.841846274778883,4.761487074829932,234,15,31,6,6,74,42,49,0.0,0.912,0.08800000000000001,0.6514,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,1,1,5,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,24,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.2679846546133756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975452691924963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920172133968052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403174624791086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5019863228772045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347501833706494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092123813695024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635005267372815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20885710418440906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869142564793268,0.0,0.25959996583013784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23451973429808196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140462186027534,0.0,0.18244202288208644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mittens27,2019/01/14,"Autism and Abuse I'm trying to do research on whether there is a connection between autism and violence in a relationship. So far, what little research papers I can find, tell me there is no connection at all, that autism won't cause a person to act out violently against their spouse.

I am doing this research because my sister is having a very hard time in her relationship. Her fiancee is very abusive. He insults her and her family with very deep personal remarks, he chokes her and hits her. I have seen her covered in bruises from one of these attacks. He will smash and destroy property during these outbursts. He is very controlling and often will do things to ensure she cannot leave the house and is isolated from friends and family. When she is with us at family gathering or outings, he is calling and texting her constantly to see what she is doing and when she will be home. He blames all of these things on her and she always eventually accepts that as true and forgives him.

Him, his mother, and her all agree that the root cause of all of this behaviour is his autism and that anyone who refuses to accept that he has no control over it is ignorant and unsupportive. 

One example of this is, the family cat died and he texted messages insulting the cat and all of us and saying we deserve our cat's death. We have never ever been unkind to him and these insults come out of nowhere. In the end my sister told us that his Tourette's caused him to send this message and we should apologize to him for being upset about it.

We have tried many times to be supportive and accepting. I try to keep myself educated about mental illnesses and also about the cycle of abuse, but I'm having trouble accepting that this is actually autism. I know many very good people with autism and they do not behave the way this person does.

Can anyone with autism or extensive experience with autism please help me in understanding what may be happening here? Is this autism or is this just an abusive spouse?",7.598047240116209,7.583355084880639,7.405593027661992,73.94330680813441,63.13793103448275,10.7883794366553,34.13275230516609,10.398101306919678,3.4896354427182015,1605,61,286,34,21,511,187,377,0.131,0.7859999999999999,0.083,-0.9545,0,0,0,0,2,0,28.0,8,0,2,2,13,19,6,1,12,0,41,1,0,6,8,70,53,33,2,1,7,5,1,0,2,6,1,1,1,3,27,35,0,5,8,0,0,3,6,10,0,2,3,4,43,9,44,39,5,27,0,0,2,0,69,15,0,5,8,216,70,4,0.0,0.4031851406415191,0.08301789828251523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680319641309377,0.07078663206010162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896849476897145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678156255894037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05185903791485864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868679169585946,0.0,0.0,0.2621768125675977,0.0,0.07328190523076142,0.0,0.0919324967385278,0.1908307293254871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829119645455706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444698907997488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534844877564834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695239997751806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321663785897365,0.3207928476564184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775417131991556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572633546736242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135426977359298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522879627534305,0.0,0.07620770858424854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570218983445733,0.0,0.08533404756905387,0.0,0.0,0.09816154548648437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561580957702915,0.0,0.0,0.04675328896873054,0.0,0.0,0.0900788539691183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526438852398929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724990990393247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573246158501588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561269035956538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529383619720325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897814081963688,0.22284449343922427,0.0,0.09338339469658444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826707570923105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765258587248303,0.0,0.0,0.06779128645315206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653857891580124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435658640106876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303597454065124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921221284358006,0.0,0.0,0.08128984186831954,0.0,0.17327469842554882,0.0,0.0,0.08856284348287909,0.3069930471397596,0.0,0.0,0.3509661163673942,0.0,0.0675261109120618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wildbynature_,2019/01/14,How is your experience on Seroquel? Im taking 200mg. Can you guys share some stories about how it affects you?,1.076666666666668,3.6839709090909127,2.824545454545458,87.87348484848488,89.9090909090909,4.751515151515153,25.51515151515152,6.42735559955562,1.0620424242424251,88,4,17,1,3,29,20,22,0.0,0.8809999999999999,0.119,0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,4,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5106566598947673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5169030600212321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5638942934331808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3925101630267684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nikschled,2019/01/14,"I Struggle Every Day I am a 29 year old female who has struggled my entire life with figuring out what is ""wrong"" with me. I changed my career path and have a masters in psychology and I still don't comprehend what is going on inside my brain. I feel as though I have some sort of a personality disorder or am possibly bipolar. I go through phases of ""manic"" episodes, I think. These times consist of sudden urges to start a big project or spend money. I will reorganize during these times. It's impossible for me to sit down or relax. Then the OCD kicks in. This is every day and really confuses me. Certain things set me off. For example, backtracking or retracing my steps. If I drive to point A and have to go out of my way to go to point B I am very uncomfortable and it makes me very anxious. If my husband (or myself) forget something and we have to go back home before going to our destination the same feeling occurs. Certain sounds are my triggers as well. I cannot stand when pots or pans, what have you, are pushed around and noisy in a cabinet. Loudness.  


I believe that I have delusions of grandeur. For example.. sometimes I feel as though I become characters in TV/Movies I am watching. Not that I am them but just almost imagine to an uncomfortable point like I have their life. In the same token, I am painfully nice and put myself in situations that are extremely uncomfortable to me just to avoid conflict/be liked by people.  


I have sought professional help twice. Neither psychiatrist felt as though my issues were fit into a category and did not feel comfortable making a diagnosis.  


My point is: my mania is a serious issue. I am incredibly responsible/ able to manage money but in the same token, during my episodes I have put my husband and I in $20K worth of credit card debt. This is over the span of the 10 years that we've been together. Yet I am a money hoarder and save save save. We have $10K sitting in a savings account saved for putting an addition on our house. It just doesn't make sense.",3.89545918367347,5.75330043367347,5.201785714285716,79.58696428571429,72.72448979591837,8.16530612244898,28.5765306122449,8.841846274778883,2.367791836734694,1598,64,300,32,32,532,210,392,0.092,0.782,0.126,0.9455,1,1,1,0,0,0,48.0,4,1,2,1,13,21,0,4,19,0,35,5,1,4,2,63,51,30,0,2,15,2,5,2,0,1,4,2,1,1,16,20,0,1,8,1,8,12,6,7,1,1,4,8,52,14,49,46,5,56,0,0,1,0,12,25,0,12,16,212,68,5,0.0992025707687346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933704484322936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120706680795362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831132015053142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628065351190441,0.0,0.0,0.10956144546391493,0.08441408110960877,0.11176732622633964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107428772378487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049431660818523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795490264383386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369474060864428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716488888890513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20063920193765244,0.0,0.09525002497851368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382746425520742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649339208583759,0.0,0.0995082669642586,0.0,0.0,0.11446644747501222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20708342049105768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013941900503385,0.096930730324405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986554589261504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409641035319976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105558529599223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877457180250254,0.08661985837372822,0.0,0.0,0.3751139779241144,0.11183599308159332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991779506694386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635517070614531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150784596883853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763709855768741,0.0981138790934449,0.0,0.07021609018293995,0.0,0.07922330116109615,0.0,0.0,0.2074161323096412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590577999979529,0.06356500172436044,0.2923980663039569,0.0,0.11569163356238145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370502043576238,0.0,0.07874238317663433,0.0,0.0,0.08919502487089583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084624380551549,0.0,0.1277664061820451
mentalhealth,pinkpenguin87,2019/01/14,"Anxiety/Depression medicine I’ve been on lamictal for anxiety and depression for about 8 years or so. Over the years my dose has been increased and I’m not sure I want to be on it anymore. My memory is so bad lately and honestly I’m not even sure how well it’s working. Also, i had a bad experience with the generic so i started using the brand name and it is SO expensive. Has anyone been on Lamictal and switched? Or if you struggle with anxiety & depression, what medicines do you take? I am scared of “playing the medicine game” to try to figure out what works, but I think I’m doing myself a disservice. TIA!",2.416120218579234,4.71198473770492,4.140573770491802,83.48468579234975,78.672131147541,8.32896174863388,29.019125683060107,9.075114841892004,2.785604371584699,486,23,95,13,12,163,75,122,0.16899999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.096,-0.633,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,2,9,11,0,2,6,0,12,1,0,2,2,22,20,15,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,2,2,1,1,2,6,1,0,4,0,10,5,14,15,1,10,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,3,4,66,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357289797474576,0.0,0.1945245032528212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27468531598077595,0.0,0.17804901829405426,0.12553401757444735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998059945565065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4638958953853089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185802024333087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561824077477375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20252164021486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797443820271798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707475561212972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768742502316607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384164520670039,0.0,0.13498687029987186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503783589434688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189148104350668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505932536375544,0.0,0.0,0.10589352673415238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142220334052138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614050941405692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312274123882824
mentalhealth,DgDiavlo,2019/01/14,"Unsure about my mental health. So I hope this is not to far of. There are times where I am happy. And then there are times when something creeps in. I am incredibly anxious in the mornings and I am depressed throughout the day because of a crippling fear of failure. The thing is I don’t feel bad when I am not in the situation that I could fail something. I worked for a year to see what it like and even though it was hard, there was no crippling fear of failing or depression. I did think to myself “Is that it?” “What am I doing it for?” But I did not think about how easy it would be to just end it all.

Now that I am back in College to finish my degree I get that depression again. But am I really depressed? Even though I am diagnosed I feel like a fraud. Because I am choosing a situation which makes me depressed. But I want to get my degree.


Does that make any sense?
Let me know what you think and sorry for the formation I am on mobile.",1.7791981672394035,3.7004310206185593,3.150446735395189,91.67184421534941,79.0,5.9605956471935855,22.63344788087057,6.937597516519254,0.56575578465063,734,23,160,8,18,239,100,194,0.239,0.6859999999999999,0.075,-0.9874,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,3,18,14,0,2,9,0,25,2,0,3,1,27,38,15,0,4,8,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,17,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,10,0,0,4,4,26,4,20,30,1,19,0,7,1,0,1,7,0,2,14,127,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360613882991766,0.0,0.0,0.1388917302002271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453635039949412,0.10265310818699563,0.1498910477502116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816078336112602,0.0,0.0,0.07928871184738122,0.0,0.5294574536102321,0.12478557637827087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758912663754548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889189606522866,0.0,0.0,0.16240671060935735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27669237053237616,0.12432836522102328,0.08783122121246888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846633580389574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308761786748295,0.11013367915819874,0.0,0.0,0.13068372741313572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211113687681235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756680948070122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571857407235473,0.0,0.12012846068494633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641321550457878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389863956096328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876107729347037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979704537855134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276388423891985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929660196797732,0.0,0.13762574720106685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167853347559854,0.2363326610155792,0.2415837199396089,0.0,0.14337927515312018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725155590849579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950469936112644,0.0,0.0,0.08733589319422673,0.0,0.0,0.07917190786930604
mentalhealth,Stupefyer,2019/01/14,"Wanting to seek help for my depression and anxiety but can’t explain it ? I’ll try to make this short and sweet but for the past 6 months I feel like I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety. I promised myself for 2019 that I would take better care of myself mentally and seek help. 

Anyways, a little background about myself....I’m 24 years old and currently serving active duty in the military as well as going to school. I have lived a perfectly normal life and never had any encounters with depression or anxiety til recently. In fact, growing up my parents raised me with the “suck it up” mentality and to be honest I never really believed depression or anxiety was a real thing. (Yes I know I was very ignorant) I always had a positive outlook on life until recently. 

I know this may sound stupid and make no sense but I honestly feel like I forgot how to have fun and enjoy myself again. My whole life for the past 6 months has been working 5,6 and even 7 days a week on top of going to a university. When I’m at work I feel fine for the most part but the problems seem to become overwhelming when I’m not at work. 

I try so hard to make sure that when I’m off that I don’t think about my job or the military in general but it’s so hard for me. It’s gotten to the point where I feel that I’m doing bad by being off. this alone has caused a bunch of problems in my life. I literally have no desire to go out and have fun besides run errands. It seems like I find more fun in just staying inside my apartment all day than going out and I have no idea why. I feel bad not only for myself but for my wife as well because it’s so hard for me to get out of the house and have fun and do stuff with her. It kills me cause I know she knows I’m going through something but she’s tried again and again to talk to me about my situation but I just have such a hard time talking about it. And then I get frustrated about trying to speak my mind I end up just giving up and just saying I’m fine or nothing wrong with me. 

I have noticed that it has become very difficult for me to focus on my studies. Luckily I was able to past this semester but it took all I had to pass these classes. I know working a lot probably explains this one but I never have any issues with focusing before and it seemed all semester my mind would just be foggy and I could only focus on an assignment or reading for minutes at a time before becoming distracted by something. 

My sleep is almost nonexistent because I wake up and I feel tired all the time. I probably haven’t gotten a good nights sleep in a couple months. I have trouble sleeping almost every night because my mind is just racing with thoughts about work or just life. I’ve had nightmares for the past couple of days just about bad things happening to me and I never really dream to begin with.  Since I’m so tired all the time I have to drink coffee or energy drinks to even function and this has just become a very disastrous cycle. 

I have become a very negative person in the past couple of months. I always expect something bad to happen to me whether it be with my job or just in life in general. When good things start to happen in my life I almost always brush it off cause I expect something bad to happen to me soon. And when something good or exciting happens I tend to question it and always think “why did this happen to me?” Or “what did I do to deserve this?” Etc. 

I have never tried to commit suicide and I don’t think I’d ever let it get that far but I have had thoughts about how life would be so much easier if my life just ended right now. And this is the reason why I’m seeking help. 

I really don’t know why I have gotten to this point in my life. I know I should have reached out sooner but I’ve always been the type of person to deal with my problems internally. It’s also just really hard for me to explain my feelings without it getting confusing.

When I think about the big picture, I really don’t feel like I have any reason to be depressed or have anxiety. I have a beautiful, caring and loving wife, we live in a nice apartment, have a cute cat and I have a stable career. But after looking into depression, there isn’t ever a set reason for someone to be depressed right ? 

After proofreading this thread, I realize how much of a mess I am right now. 

I’m hoping to see a psychiatrist this week and hopefully get some help. 

Any thoughts, suggestions or opinions on my situation are welcomed. Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

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mentalhealth,ashen_soul,2019/01/14,"I have no more hope left  

It is all pointless. I tried for many years to improve my life and make things better. But it never got any better.

I have no friends, never been in a relationship (and I am already 27).

I struggled my whole life with getting closer to others. But I am unable to build a connection to other people.

I   tried therapists, I went to the psychiatrist, I am taking meds against   depression. but nothing helps. My life only keeps getting worse. Last   year my mom committed suicide ...

So, I have no more hope left for a better life.",2.1509294871794857,4.8135163365384654,3.4476923076923067,85.78064102564106,82.75,5.7743589743589725,24.051282051282055,7.1686216300943375,1.2332974358974362,425,16,78,6,12,138,64,104,0.194,0.633,0.173,-0.5329999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,3,1,8,0,1,4,0,8,4,0,1,4,14,17,6,1,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,14,6,10,14,4,10,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,2,5,56,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418278483513878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501333772955044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3707088470387601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033929698783175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794612854206136,0.0,0.1459942478080997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117456086701564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936503324679068,0.0,0.0,0.2775438945271373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241881787927645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388918541803532,0.0,0.0,0.3036090113238854,0.0,0.3947490952105005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326315087561454,0.14165257948646104,0.0,0.0,0.15519570162708282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363656099570173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155189653334963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406362182045928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626217782787174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686318162754866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000532804505615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606406095909252,0.0,0.15282930801046027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050508868653506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16222389023844494,0.0928227304236468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971931353776425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952040371955467,0.0,0.1559906607433145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14238503789992246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994820299935713
mentalhealth,09876543211qwertyuio,2019/01/14,"Is it worth trying to escape from the psychiatric ward for a while? I have spent the last two and a half months in psychiatric hospital for mental illness. I am detained under a compulsory treatment order, and it has been the most rigorous and upsetting experience I have felt in years- I am so unhappy in hospital, I feel intimidated by other patients and bored out of my mind. I am on pass to my house with my mother right now for the first time since the 2 and a half months ago I was detained. I am seriously contemplating locking myself in my room and refusing to go back, or running down the woods near my house. I just cant fucking go back there I swear to god. How long would I hold out before the police broke down my door? Sorry if this is the wrong sub but I am writing this tonight and I have to go back tommorow so Im a little bit desperate for advice ASAP. I also want to prove to the doctors that I am okay being at home  and don't need to be in hospital. If I do this right I can show them I am safe being at home. Just speak to me please.",2.547869943676396,4.153415986175118,4.391850998463902,85.04745903737843,75.7741935483871,7.587199180747567,24.49795186891961,8.344100000000001,1.4699976446492578,827,27,174,15,18,281,127,217,0.131,0.7979999999999999,0.071,-0.7635,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,11,8,1,1,14,1,23,3,0,1,1,30,32,17,0,5,6,1,2,0,0,1,2,1,4,0,7,11,0,3,3,1,2,5,2,6,0,4,4,3,27,2,31,24,2,38,0,1,0,1,5,18,1,4,14,131,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446065951317955,0.13117738406840762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11834139532727435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413677729368937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592204159343573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155834927365031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146615905334934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475508923601746,0.0,0.0,0.07482429945207014,0.0,0.14208621890400366,0.0,0.0,0.1258736724866263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680725582009026,0.0,0.0,0.2523052614535787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29687663401308445,0.0,0.0,0.3415034214797749,0.0,0.0,0.15984628259312658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062532898348118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483171453088643,0.0,0.1309596826216491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913135697928415,0.0,0.1494199423844457,0.0,0.2362361270034832,0.0,0.0,0.1097270036014418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244013192860135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527521587133015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241249136847887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16565407423448106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628967171092293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047027084271777,0.0,0.1445572086839349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728379719722526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512238319327352,0.16179541915965967,0.0,0.09529575221347718
mentalhealth,asianscorpio,2019/01/14,"Irritability - issues seeing others or myself feeling “happy” Hi,

I am a fairly new redditor and have been mostly looking. I am a F 27 married to M 30. Our relationship is quite healthy and I have struggled with depression for quite some time since my teen years. We have been married 6 years this Sept. 

A quick basktory on my history - I was adopted from Korea when I was 6 months old to my family who is all white in a very rural farming town in the Western Finger Lakea area of New York state. My family consists of my older sister who is also adopted from Korea (not my bio sister), and my brother who is the middle child who is my parents bio son.

I recently have had a hard time feeling genuinely happy or seeing people being happy. It gives me an unsettling feeling which turns to anger. 

I entertained the possibly of maybe having undiagnosed bipolar disorder. 

I am wondering if I can get some insight as to why I may be feeling this was as I don’t like it and it doesn’t seem healthy. 

Thanks!",4.742131754256107,6.1207523212435255,6.233060695780902,74.92851036269431,69.82901554404145,8.830347890451517,30.884159881569207,9.23628265651192,2.93059319022946,790,33,137,16,14,269,120,193,0.081,0.762,0.157,0.9213,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,2,3,9,1,1,9,0,25,2,1,0,1,23,38,11,0,1,4,5,6,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,11,6,0,0,7,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,10,23,6,16,29,4,19,0,1,4,0,15,6,0,10,13,99,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087640889349721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714191915508372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587485946514176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564290349243275,0.0,0.2750752342439659,0.09716283852845232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105761294073773,0.1304695159871605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4343433066372329,0.12183481838088453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419551110887106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644574712201523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142109328909329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663648316586915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855883123569383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26271122246544404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271560186309148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101876198791125,0.0,0.0,0.09428955690563684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332652690367746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28931861668787745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428968981287515,0.14601973295940546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167586252431537,0.12381491360009365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125057133316073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218318411867867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521621284793666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861258864121805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793566314188902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122193380166897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227244184457708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749289505099833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516703500424102
mentalhealth,hello_young,2019/01/14,"Weird flatness anyone else? Today wasn’t a bad day, I spent it with my family and dog. 
But the whole day I felt really weird and agitated. I couldn’t relax at all.

It felt like someone was like sitting on my head and pressing it down and it was just really uncomfortable because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
This happens regularly I was just wondering if this happens to anyone else?
",2.7177631578947365,5.300447618421057,4.417631578947368,80.31092105263156,79.39473684210526,7.484210526315789,23.97368421052632,8.472884824447931,1.9203736842105263,313,11,57,7,8,105,48,76,0.203,0.701,0.096,-0.8364,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,0,1,17,13,6,0,3,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,4,1,1,0,3,4,0,0,8,3,7,3,6,3,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,5,39,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630304574499158,0.3854359629952871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704529620359373,0.1146564600329416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24260189404086285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31424612311497985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731225739550974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36118719939240224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326505010614094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930321490205867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18378020913290866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409874758070723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936601983850532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782850598184784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20999309726705453,0.0,0.0,0.2039729875285698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20564427279284375,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nb2001uk,2019/01/14,"Paranoid Schizophrenia - forced to work *if not correct location please advise. 

England. 

My 53 year old mother who has paranoid Schizophrenia is being forced to go back to work by the UK government.

She is currently on Universal Credit and doesn't make ends meet, thus has to rely on food banks.

Is there anything we/i can do to prevent this from happening because she is in a unfit state to work whatsoever. ",3.4942192192192216,6.583327851351356,3.881531531531533,81.87863363363365,81.29729729729729,6.5321321321321335,28.492492492492488,7.793537801064563,2.355701501501502,327,15,53,6,9,102,58,74,0.15,0.8029999999999999,0.046,-0.8054,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,2,1,7,13,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,11,12,0,10,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,5,33,5,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288702966647043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21385826575944747,0.0,0.16954028471199753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24633309779105264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363056212614651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580628575223504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459419235660012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564826061680054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918417287345983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052938882172265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6074272923104187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910112715634458
mentalhealth,alice_df,2019/01/14,"Those of you who have succeded in changing their thinking patterns Could you please share how you have managed to do so?

I have all sorts of thoughts and feelings that I feel are like a reflex, meaning - I can't control them. I am able to control my actions, so a lot of the time I act against bad thoughts and feelings. But I never imagined I could get control of them, and I heard that it is possible. ",5.174499999999998,5.575402450000002,5.105,86.96000000000002,68.25,7.4,37.25,6.742157984588678,2.424075,316,17,64,2,5,98,54,80,0.046,0.861,0.093,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,3,3,3,3,0,0,3,0,10,0,0,4,2,22,19,7,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,3,8,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,4,15,2,8,14,2,5,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,2,3,51,20,1,0.18810309613714868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705822820294452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989881341326375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6329208511461816,0.3003700323545505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853317318177835,0.13438088946515478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827610406267462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189767131822164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991852570543022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048994160055798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450767039290131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20648071325896308,0.0,0.21205797788509048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205288687345568,0.0,0.2986656940263305,0.10968442804260004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Perturbed-Bucket,2019/01/14,"Mental health clouding my judgement at work, help Hi everyone :) My main question is, do you think I have a good/solid case for asking my boss to be able to work remotely? I'm currently full time in office. And yep, I could do my job from home as I have a capable computer. Here's the story:

So I relocated to another state about 5 months ago for this career. And boy, I did not expect what was to follow. I left my family behind, and also my husband, as he is in the military and stationed in another state. My personal life is now in shambles. My grandparents, who raised me, are quickly declining. My grandpa has dementia (and his mother died from Alzheimer's) and my grandma has osteoporosis and will be in a wheelchair in maybe about 3-5 years. Since I've left, my mother has been taking the brunt of it all and attempting to help them while working full time. Me leaving, combined with my grandparent's best friend dying two weeks later, has made their health decline faster from the stress. 

My husband lives just 3 hours from my family. The problem is I live 18 hours from all of them. So, me and my husband have been burning through money for plane tickets and travel just to try to make things bearable, whether that's me having to help my family out, or to work on my marriage. This has lead to me taking a lot of vacation days that make me feel guilty. I wouldn't have to take these vacation days if I lived with them. We are now in debt as we can't keep up with the travel. The alternative is I don't see my husband or my family, ever. Maybe once a year.

And all of this guilt and personal issues has made me morbidly depressed for about two months now, no matter what measures I take (I am diagnosed bipolar II). And I just don't know what to do anymore, because this career is imperative for the future of my career (I should stay for at least one more year, it's a long story), but things are declining so fast. And being able to move with my husband would solve ALL of these problems, from the money to my family to vacation days to everything. Do you think I have a solid case? This has also undoubtedly affected my work performance, because I am not motivated and constantly stressed out or guilty or homesick. Thank you for any advice! ",4.925068493150687,5.9605603196347055,5.702630136986303,80.18175342465756,69.09132420091325,9.127671232876713,29.668493150684927,9.3871,2.5800241095890413,1772,66,339,36,30,579,209,438,0.077,0.868,0.055,-0.8823,5,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,2,3,4,10,17,10,0,3,16,1,43,5,0,8,6,64,61,31,2,8,12,8,1,0,1,4,5,0,2,3,17,23,0,1,6,3,3,5,7,7,0,3,6,2,56,3,60,47,11,52,0,2,1,0,31,17,0,7,27,246,73,13,0.16040918445447794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837499927139073,0.07109653174126801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282791668540039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05454187304718165,0.1682030162349646,0.0,0.0,0.07954140387258915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498046690836879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977839499792283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416977131237406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667267099425012,0.0,0.06403684058638291,0.0,0.0,0.1551759804786105,0.0,0.06908009776038067,0.08140597281724443,0.16647940811962053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254964546909977,0.0,0.07663892496541702,0.07208271587188107,0.0,0.37804875762964346,0.0,0.040553851708447365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061965868998671576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727180667910387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705074620034755,0.0,0.0,0.16127834258902088,0.0,0.08045174548664974,0.0,0.15797073471807704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371275647798923,0.07959068201393149,0.07128952674997988,0.0,0.0,0.044078346356796416,0.0,0.0,0.08492508253974697,0.17428504826072955,0.0,0.056650875421684885,0.0,0.0,0.21246637305869734,0.07097854022977762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818707616823859,0.0,0.15178304886264765,0.10707437622109488,0.0,0.16115258624432774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808273646436404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803708063867664,0.08524478856779974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541527312728943,0.05434870740433883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006311259497378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348992578937562,0.0,0.0,0.08984749897773898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639126758815482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634606750175913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548742375367407,0.0,0.0,0.18374817882654315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24121548708089602,0.0,0.0,0.07384161269603637,0.0,0.0,0.10656873444589524,0.10278372835944403,0.0,0.0,0.09353588543189643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054453653354590716,0.0,0.15669646484590466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433528601826648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919494918675655,0.0,0.0,0.05697504113606034,0.0,0.0,0.15494738335047825
mentalhealth,mcking765,2019/01/14,"Recently admitted Childhood Sexual Abuse to therapist. Now i'm panicking. Help, stories? I was sexually abused as a child by my cousin. I am 27 now. Male.  
I have kept this a secret from everyone for about 20 years I think. Two weeks ago I told my therapist and at first it was heavy but then it was over I had told someone and then it was cathartic.  
NOW, I am starting to get a little out of control.   
I can't stop reading about the effects, it feels nice to have an explanation for all these weird eccentricities and emotional outbursts. But from focusing on it I am also starting to get near panic attacks.  


In my past a big coping mechanism of mine was dissociation.   
I even went to a single therapy session 5 years ago for a 2 week bout of depersonalization.   
At the same time I also had lots of panic attacks, first bad one I thought was a heart attack.  
I would get panicky and have my mind racing, anxious thoughts, images of violence and terror, resulting in controlled outbursts of destruction and screaming.  
But then it all kind of stopped when I found my career passion. I focused on this and started grad school last year.

  
Now with all the stress of grad school that lingering thought that I was sexually abused kept coming back up.  
I probably would have just pushed it down again like all the years before but my mother who was also abused physically and sexually recently had a nervous breakdown in her 60s because of new memories resurfacing in therapy.   
It was so bad she started self harming, lost weight, she was a shell of a person.   
Fortunately she is a lot better now but it scared me into stepping up and handling my problems now.  


**Why am I making this post?**   
Now with the panic and terror revisiting me with beginning the healing process I need some help and advice.  
I still don't have a very good memory of the event, I believe I dissociated. When this memory returns, if it will, in therapy could it be devastating/incapacitating? Has anyone had this happen, what was it like?

How will the healing process change me? Ironically i've become so comfortable with the chaos and emotional problems that i've grown fond of them. Will they go away? Will I become a normie? ha... fuck. 

Is there any literature on personal stories through the healing process? Also if they are catered towards men that could be nice, in all the literature i've read so far there seems to be some notable differences in therapy and coping skills.

I still don't want to tell anyone else about this, like the gf I live with, is this stupid? It's just that, I need to feel in control of this. It's one of my coping strategies, I need control and I have a hard time trusting in terms of emotional needs like this.

How long did the healing process take? I kinda need to **not** be taking time off in grad school right now... I know it's dumb right but I'm at a very important stage of my schooling and if I could just put off a mental breakdown until summer I'd be safe to have time to breakdown without the compounding anxiety of ""I need to be working on research!""

​",3.1860473407364083,5.783452906896553,4.275622443015781,81.91772355347754,77.6896551724138,7.3115137346580985,28.106370543541786,8.335253513562549,2.27054032729398,2426,106,444,49,59,788,270,580,0.206,0.6920000000000001,0.102,-0.9975,0,0,0,0,4,0,77.0,0,0,3,11,33,38,7,8,31,1,50,8,1,9,5,88,90,40,0,17,14,2,4,4,1,6,4,1,0,6,32,23,1,9,12,2,0,7,5,23,0,5,26,5,52,15,75,49,12,92,0,1,0,2,24,33,2,9,54,313,84,13,0.0,0.2748885693408297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667827023553915,0.10282943480197552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18553470755042306,0.0,0.0628444632160867,0.07047801654105154,0.0394429224683778,0.0,0.04437089144938521,0.06552504185046815,0.0,0.08111181694751886,0.0594292607376416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979548047931518,0.05449419905138447,0.04459947548631837,0.09685744716891034,0.03535709852085591,0.12811591868312736,0.04935489626554584,0.06534768511684362,0.0,0.05129750082636362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061357761734353526,0.04996304689057248,0.0,0.0,0.2602138862909689,0.1389281297426447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605990896323773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845270441622364,0.1957312129482537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03830935972261943,0.0,0.0,0.05542279732226703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865447368654436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986718761787386,0.0,0.0635955115375778,0.0,0.053621334548998686,0.09090997013779874,0.0,0.032963516814893457,0.048648799663632065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051290422430891186,0.0,0.051957837414680026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873190605560013,0.07775419516749839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603995042987068,0.031876037634084545,0.04727886018715412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113346163986379,0.05813261307147107,0.05121627483311295,0.05132938974757885,0.0,0.0,0.06331535004644102,0.0986213860430736,0.0,0.0,0.038716366744364974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058451741732531974,0.0,0.0585648522138684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258043698072982,0.0,0.05601808729750198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860646261823444,0.0,0.0,0.20415634172567784,0.0,0.0,0.055368873347356164,0.0,0.10128912305567928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055549282099774736,0.0,0.06253528992432159,0.1109989610615369,0.0,0.05830739976922303,0.0,0.0,0.11603413762735675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453871664095512,0.0,0.0,0.09906571094570044,0.0,0.0,0.05806949261257916,0.23480194335117066,0.0,0.05280227143471213,0.060508081479038474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049144374967514386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421468084934168,0.0,0.09263994251250383,0.09698348961157664,0.0664403765973661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721962799914695,0.0,0.050695756357328266,0.0,0.2653184987507047,0.13468812859530915,0.0,0.037164937709283925,0.0,0.13813983360493673,0.13528426770052038,0.0,0.0,0.11084559464453406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665891331454075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571441394078524,0.034210712452080835,0.0,0.09305040537219024,0.07063004643207417,0.0,0.0537678536936033,0.05233721743222928,0.0,0.0,0.05591125361318225,0.0,0.042225690204857065,0.0,0.0,0.08240502221910351,0.0,0.07047801654105154,0.14940392978153585
mentalhealth,InsatiableLoner,2019/01/14,"Not sure what’s wrong with me I know no one besides a doctor can actually diagnose me but I was wondering if I listed off some of the things that I go through if anyone had any ideas of what kind of personality disorder/ mental illness I might have? Also sorry if things I say don’t make sense words get very jumbled in my head and I’m really bad at punctuation.

I am currently diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, severe depression and PTSD but haven’t been to a therapist or anything since I was like 14. I’m 21 now.

Basically I am always confused,  nothing in this world seems to make any sense to me, like it will take me an hour to find a bathroom in a restaurant that everyone else can just find in one second. I’ll just walk around like a moron. I don’t understand math at all, like I know some addition, can barely understand money. (Thank god for cards) even though I’ve had countless tutors and tired my absolute hardest. My brain is just like NOPE. I can’t remember anything, like if someone is explaining something to me, no matter how hard I try I will forget it in a matter of minutes and have to write it down. things just don’t stick in my head. I can’t remember my own phone number of zip code, I can’t remember my social security number. And it’s so embarrassing. Basically I am completely unable to work right now unless someone else could work alongside me constantly helping me to remember what to do. It takes me months to memorize something ridiculously simple. Now onto the more emotional side of things, I am extremely paranoid, with horrible delusions that the world isn’t real, people aren’t real, I’m in a coma somewhere and this is all a dream. (Anything my mind can think of to scare the living shit out of me basically) I fly into violent rages, self harm occasionally, binge eat and restrict, I am very suicidal from how much agony this all puts on me. I can’t make eye contact with people, every little sound is horrible to me, like the dial of the world is turned up to 100% I can’t handle lights. I don’t understand how to communicate with other people like everyone else does. I just don’t get it. I have thought of autism but I just don’t feel like that’s what it is besides the sensory part of things maybe. I suffer from severe depersonalization and derealism, (I’m so detached from my mind and body it’s hard to even pick something up because my hand doesn’t look like my own) and my speech is slurred because of how our of sync everything is. I slammed my head into a pole when I was like 6 from not paying attention to what was in front of me on my bike and had my entire face swell up and a concussion. But I’m thinking it may have given me some kind of brain damage they weren’t able to see. I’ve also had numerous ugly falls from years of horseback riding. 
Sorry for how long and depressing this all was. I just needed to vent I guess and see what other people might think because I am so lost.",5.829491899852727,6.070633097938149,6.770400589101622,76.13947422680417,66.81786941580756,10.156583210603829,31.40520373097693,10.025080133382057,2.9947129504172803,2341,86,449,51,35,783,263,582,0.206,0.7,0.094,-0.9978,3,0,3,0,0,0,53.0,1,0,1,3,25,32,5,3,18,0,55,17,10,9,5,100,90,36,1,6,19,0,4,11,0,5,6,3,0,2,30,24,1,2,22,3,2,6,21,16,0,3,14,12,61,16,70,70,12,44,0,5,4,0,11,28,1,15,21,301,91,6,0.06360104962663345,0.0,0.062065449873887374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172347281598487,0.0529211682632161,0.0,0.0,0.08650178943806741,0.0,0.048654628880646436,0.0,0.0,0.04447133269700331,0.0,0.15701473404625538,0.056618418373263174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05310421982062125,0.11631182858638732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706464283048957,0.0,0.1419996110266213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668449047291833,0.06873013995956752,0.0,0.05078026286235707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955898169577688,0.12910745315891173,0.0,0.0,0.14578462601730502,0.06509836930008712,0.055657707128177004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507975178749191,0.15939154756384893,0.07154262036271691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401578688521295,0.0,0.05358662740121618,0.12154705696270388,0.05716052238506405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03215860168894577,0.045436602561357536,0.0,0.0,0.11626041425715697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645784678679674,0.0,0.0361459421895796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006372660947377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139480958923691,0.0,0.1958190774605623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04263044291214488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263422242640604,0.0,0.0,0.07179784348210141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246141198586653,0.06990694712731049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417948625791263,0.06374496032113934,0.05616089204556267,0.05628492751125717,0.05340886335270651,0.0,0.06942805876397355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736258348806598,0.0,0.06389580291204887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640948988971269,0.134941325726655,0.1284378590034009,0.0,0.0507657510225713,0.0,0.04675408950613829,0.04715937241217511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610269224465489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619543447021721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887373886860312,0.0,0.17637183876851767,0.0555339833271311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434622349478441,0.06393662160254712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478383703377984,0.04074446098877352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881903637733001,0.054314948870913815,0.0,0.05057810742230996,0.06367574596907555,0.0,0.10136360419354556,0.057900006891718064,0.06634976563409398,0.14370216551813395,0.06528556347009735,0.05261144548626325,0.0,0.0,0.06483326062531007,0.10777792591087887,0.1468895858061936,0.0,0.14239233592477946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956922542346801,0.0,0.0599432365855971,0.0,0.09564014814188124,0.0,0.0,0.058555301425699036,0.0,0.07384572066699313,0.21126855644803744,0.1222589535087607,0.0624877083380005,0.05049212909736401,0.0,0.07310005045345441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04318093781393997,0.06917967849262206,0.0,0.1986328070184324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495505356546092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897262528094833,0.0926046432260686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953776350668618,0.0,0.040956990717230135
mentalhealth,transmentalthrowaway,2019/01/14,"CPTSD and my gender identity I see myself as a woman, and feel much happier as a woman, however, I was raised male, and was heavily abused starting around the time I was found out to be trans, and I have been given the mental impulsion to see being male as natural and as the more ""human"" way to behave.  


I feel absolutely miserable as a guy, but the impulses and fear engrained in me make it very difficult to see myself as what I feel comfortable as, I don't know how to go about fixing this.  


to make matters worse, I was abused by my sister, and it made my view of femininity skewed for years aswell.  


I don't know how to cope with these issues, and I think I've developed disassociative identity disorder, I have frequent disassociative episodes where my brain tries to force myself to see myself as a boy, even though it makes me feel insanely dysphoric and miserable.  


I don't know how to go about fixing this stuff, and my therapist seems like she's not welling to delve into my trauma.

​",11.78662946428571,7.466751130208337,11.332142857142859,62.670000000000016,58.53125,15.346428571428573,42.01190476190476,13.023866798666859,5.198296726190477,795,28,148,21,7,264,108,192,0.175,0.763,0.063,-0.9775,1,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,3,8,0,12,1,1,7,0,34,34,23,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,8,14,0,0,10,0,0,2,4,5,1,0,8,9,25,3,29,24,2,12,0,2,5,0,9,5,0,1,5,103,33,0,0.0,0.32621554151385873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491574615004442,0.16727523000242064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254897568439332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367708405567534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15777336335299152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090924905003733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549087929403852,0.2784255590074031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094002841827425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647375245551126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630770128000652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436840770760854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269674341800548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725503419803941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025976093236244,0.2756727332805737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387316077014771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101197913022936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387973462523745,0.1253229380220571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743835686993177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759083862368006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983698744028105,0.0,0.0882086898646616,0.1352528888956622,0.0,0.08027221857943605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346392658486476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358613218893565,0.0,0.10927023154897852,0.0,0.0,0.1237752862876492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029003669584295,0.0,0.0,0.16727523000242064,0.08865025558329594
mentalhealth,Thund77,2019/01/14,"Sleeping 11 to 12 hours on seroquel/quentiapine, ruining my daily life, but its the only drug that works 
Hey guys.
Eight years ago I suffered from depression, gad and bipolar disorder so much it was ruining me and my life. I finally decided to go to doctor. She gave me this seroquel pills which made me sleep a lot, but made my thoughts go finally back to normal.

I was 27, and for the first time I couls study normally so I enrolled in college. It was all great, until this sleeping effect lasted for way too long. The moment my psychiatrist stopped giving me seroquel is the moment everything went to hell.

Didnt really noticed it at first, but then anxiety, depression and suicisal thoughts came back to me. So long story short, i was on and off some antidepressants which did not work for me. I am using some xanax related benzos called praxiten for sleep.

And after seven years of hell i am back on quentiapine, basically the same stuff as seroquel. I am using the lowest possible doze, 25mg, but it does not work, i am still sleeping way too long, and its the same effect if i use 100mg of it. 

I am using it for 6 months now, I think I am a bit more stabile, but its ruining my life. I dont work, dont go to college. Yesterday I went to sleep in 00.30h am, and I woke up today in 2pm. I feel extremely guilt.

What should I do?
I am thknking about trying to use it in the morning, but nobody usebthis drug like this.",3.882575834604306,5.2354293843416375,5.123945094051855,82.15938315539739,71.88256227758006,8.484053550245722,28.68344348415523,8.976282227363876,2.3018326046432804,1111,43,220,22,21,369,146,281,0.163,0.7959999999999999,0.041,-0.9892,1,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,8,11,11,2,1,10,0,19,15,6,9,1,42,39,21,0,4,9,0,1,1,0,1,9,0,0,1,18,9,0,1,7,0,0,6,5,9,0,4,15,1,32,2,31,23,9,46,2,6,0,0,6,11,2,4,28,150,50,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327499105776247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632363035047274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19068622756126002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024563709976184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440727732521476,0.0945434557421614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239354358612408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473796295690698,0.0846081931653703,0.07233818736894389,0.0,0.1937588024018533,0.0,0.1917236555639341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429139272437196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041796456852612525,0.0,0.0,0.18110464673448715,0.0,0.1406247317915009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929704774079589,0.1409363809785708,0.0,0.0,0.09113529059605788,0.0,0.0818485052240065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140554743218488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738066904882695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751601219470825,0.040384541491100566,0.0,0.0,0.21946015255246668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027638724579985,0.0,0.15643381295454556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598012384769611,0.0,0.06076617707536134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198267393240962,0.0,0.0941113833486453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286827507235443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318913181994047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295547742318685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4963309680505801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601408412161122,0.06910924238496692,0.0,0.0,0.09462836257394792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296655541391269,0.0,0.13124899618629526,0.04820095299123988,0.0,0.07835403419609477,0.0,0.0,0.05612216046122657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569677004731826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131226703022345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325724608643565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24071606174844465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646340359469028
mentalhealth,sharkfinattax,2019/01/14,"Got diagnosed with OCD. What now? So basically my dad was an abusive narcissist and fed me drugs from about age 14 and when I was really young i had a friends dad touch my dick at a pub. Abuse from my dad and a whole other range of sources left me with acute PTSD... I think...

I spent my teenage years from age 12 taking all the drugs i could find. I had done most drugs including meth by 16. I went to rehab and now i'm a bit better, i've only done hard drugs about 10 or 20 times since rehab. I smoke weed every day and am starting to develop a taste for alcohol. I am a double agent, i work full time for one of the worlds most successful TV production companies (in a production role). Not one of my coworkers would guess that this is my past. I am 20 years old by the way.

Recently i went to Cambodia with my best friend. He nearly died on the first night from inhaling too much dodgy nitrous and smoking opium. The next day i woke up with the most intense anxiety ever. I orchestrated a very early departure from Cambodia as it was not a safe place for either of us. 

I could not stop these ridiculous, irrational thoughts I was having. I saw an article about paedophiles and suddenly I thought ""why would anyone do that to a child? Am I capable of this?"" and i convinced myself that I was. Same thing with the Judge Kavanaugh debacle. I was convinced that the loving, consensual sex that i have had might have been rape and that i was some awful sexual predator who needed to be castrated. I had repeated thoughts of mutilating my genitals and cutting my hands off.

Not once have i ever had a sexually deviant thought about harming or forcing myself upoj children or women and I ALWAYS KNEW THIS WAS TRUE. 

I just couldn't shut off the voice. 

Fast forward four weeks, i'm back at home, an absolute shell of who i once was, unable to leave the house because of the irrational fears that i would be arrested and held to trial for things i had only accused myself of doing in my head. I forced myself to the doctor and he took one look at me, heard my story and said bro, you are having sexual obsessions, you have OCD. Here's some Zoloft. 

I haven't touched it. I want to beat this on my own. 

I have been really quite depressed for the last few years. Everything has failed. School, all the loves of my adolescant life, my relationships with family, my dreams and goals, all gone. Down the toilet like a junkies stash when he hears a siren. I have suicidal thoughts every other day, but my mum means way too much to me. What a fucking cliche I am.

People dont like me. I go out of my way to be really nice to everyone but i just cant seem to make new friends. All the friends i have just expect me to let them smoke weed at my house (yeah i was that kid, my parents were those parents) and never invite me to do normal human shit. 

Can anyone relate? Is there any advice for me? I feel so lost, i have no motivation, my room right now would make the 4chan alltime top ten most absolutely disgusting, im basically laying in my own filth, i'm 99 percent sure i have HIV from a dodgy tinder date in Bali (an actual free.of charge tinder date yes but my dick and my rectum is burning and unpleasant and i am too much of a pussy to go get a test because i am so sure that if i get diagnosed i will just go straight to somewhere high up and very seriously contemplate you know what) i have absolutely fuck all interest in what would be considered by most to be a golden career opportunity handed to me on a silver platter and i generally just cruise through life trying not to hurt anyone and thinking about ways i could be happier, about all my regrets and about what i could have been if i applied myself in school. Fuck i hate myself. 

Can anyone relate? What do i do? Im a desperate pedantic hopeless young man and i am asking you, begging you, pleading with you to help me, please internet stranger, please help.me, and so help me god if you tell me to go and exercise... You think i dont want to do that? You think i dont want muscles? You think its as easy as ""oh im gonna suddenly stary excercising?"" it's not man. I'm constantly at war with my own head. I can't even get myself into the shower some mornings. How in fuck am i supposed to motivate myself to exercise when i cant even motivate myself to clean this utter pigsty of a room that i live in once a day? 

Im sad. Im broken. Im over it. Im sorry i put you through that tragic text wall. If anything i am self aware that i am utterly pathetic, ill give myself that. I hope wherever you are you are happy because sometimes i like to think that someone else somewhere has my happiness because they need it more than i do. And im ok with that idea. My life hasnt been cataclysmic. its hard to understand why it feels that way though. ",2.8992696759259218,4.677062063541669,4.261597222222225,85.61849537037038,75.23958333333334,7.8240740740740735,25.39351851851852,8.589422402637114,1.7317337962962962,3751,130,770,74,81,1239,420,960,0.139,0.732,0.129,-0.7857,3,0,8,0,1,1,107.0,1,13,2,15,34,48,11,2,44,4,91,35,7,6,12,132,156,49,3,23,22,7,8,3,4,8,18,5,5,8,44,38,3,3,23,6,1,11,17,23,0,6,42,17,133,25,103,94,30,95,0,8,2,11,52,38,7,19,46,521,177,13,0.0,0.11531625005309748,0.04748842034206307,0.0,0.0,0.04755327294060512,0.0,0.052006333195269816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04049181450522284,0.0,0.0,0.03309275406463987,0.0,0.03722733779527994,0.0,0.0,0.13610621333306724,0.0,0.04004579953063881,0.0,0.04549367325364954,0.0,0.0,0.0374191206258599,0.0,0.11865893220544099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051069194842425863,0.04303878801928262,0.053127786266190025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05258780502196882,0.0,0.1554149352200307,0.0,0.0,0.12553536752153194,0.0,0.04191368132825215,0.09878457366153956,0.05050488553045845,0.0,0.0,0.04980901179620766,0.0,0.09959902726130383,0.1710992892069534,0.0,0.2257361956171554,0.0,0.04065199358131449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428338167339685,0.08803759170165841,0.08200196057269253,0.04649992664287475,0.04373549083281318,0.0,0.045875485610323764,0.05475981009132288,0.04921131475630066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04447743013709386,0.041393029815393015,0.0,0.0,0.15038876727983527,0.17995397154157894,0.07627379249612838,0.04668232990871078,0.11062603750373212,0.0,0.03892053509425188,0.0,0.05360817824929568,0.0,0.0,0.10360610487267646,0.08718562559217312,0.048044993958459126,0.09988529506982696,0.0,0.05484714433858212,0.0,0.0978540748432729,0.05141551246252846,0.04881331862507925,0.04833369747451961,0.0,0.11230196933256983,0.05209513418903766,0.05493501099016737,0.42051824249173386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026744110425024226,0.03966713404373996,0.0,0.051527472625957235,0.05287288386894005,0.0497615834358433,0.10311711258547857,0.07132337997987061,0.0,0.04297063911828637,0.0,0.040864966870275216,0.0,0.053121806815488525,0.0,0.08784116608750328,0.0,0.06496634238879542,0.0,0.0,0.053008666036864834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516241355749741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073195083426955,0.07216653080668294,0.03753218383059104,0.046999377076939054,0.05175403625783795,0.045667267540725434,0.04767976134953632,0.0,0.0,0.05106401107480687,0.1554746730747722,0.09892665803613028,0.07402135744857861,0.0,0.0,0.10806980643997367,0.0,0.04645468423363533,0.033737047072729724,0.0,0.05084285454134624,0.10683551359560696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05688486459598999,0.048920118489153515,0.0,0.05175947427552526,0.0,0.0,0.09352498502680127,0.0,0.04804919797357112,0.05224623771781011,0.0,0.04155824420963093,0.04628999989436421,0.0,0.0,0.09849983823396144,0.0,0.04430129598140686,0.05076649837279069,0.0,0.049952240524092376,0.04025483490624572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041232307665950825,0.0,0.04812930812523384,0.054474648259410466,0.03444417722537798,0.0,0.0,0.04068474860882258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0532298183046178,0.0,0.09172928324614353,0.0,0.03658879107270999,0.0,0.04253392224166412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465954913112687,0.1870890998648016,0.047811504883906286,0.1931663635253977,0.056751994016384935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406678437810617,0.03303922761922344,0.0,0.0,0.0506602747722064,0.058536031250561275,0.0,0.0,0.08030473815734511,0.08610873302761528,0.19313355345037336,0.039034812684907785,0.0,0.0,0.09022284595125908,0.08782222799544898,0.05433090443631133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03542750622191606,0.0,0.0,0.17284527637209668,0.0,0.0,0.09401282654413373
mentalhealth,PrimateOfGod,2019/01/14,"Advice before I see a psychiatrist? I've been looking into my conditions for over a year now, been trying different things, and after all of this research I'm almost completely certain that what I need is a prescription to Adderall.

I know that I'm not an expert, so I admit that I could be wrong, but its effects match up to most of my symptoms. I can describe these symptoms if anyone's interested...

So my question is: When I'm setting up a psychiatric appointment, should I just flat out tell them that I'm looking to be prescribed to Adderall because I believe that's what I need? Or just cut that part out and only explain my symptoms?

I feel it would save some time to cut to the chase about Adderall, but at the same time I don't want them to get the impression that I'm a faker trying to get prescribed to pills I don't need. I NEED them, and I NEED them soon. I don't know how much longer I can keep going about life so dissociated from what's going on around me.",5.934190124596213,5.5292731065989855,6.608758652514997,79.57910013844025,66.66497461928934,9.194093216428245,32.629903091832034,8.575989854853784,2.4546791878172587,770,29,154,10,11,254,108,197,0.05,0.8909999999999999,0.06,0.4113,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,4,1,12,7,2,0,9,0,14,5,0,2,2,39,38,12,0,10,7,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,15,7,0,1,7,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,2,4,25,4,25,31,6,19,0,0,3,0,8,9,0,6,7,111,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695354554279088,0.0,0.0,0.14034058248393602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799655908884032,0.0,0.0,0.1247637488049924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543450571821992,0.0,0.11925783912199968,0.1579017343432247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469452389804117,0.0,0.0,0.11189885097536424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642754881773967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086435506884667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644580934715892,0.0,0.15930163297497182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245722939616192,0.0,0.0,0.15404621043307629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899251443993057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23538241451279845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030268178862548,0.5195994750899109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065908477123648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517694436254488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700074842163744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168188387212374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4370104123550855,0.0,0.0,0.12249780291911802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310983197483172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344588535209809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030611710363474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266445582031104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995589660423529,0.1532326813054551,0.0,0.0902523922156393
mentalhealth,astralfx4,2019/01/14,I picked up a razor for the first time in nearly 6 months About six months ago I broke up with a girl who had made me spiral out of control by making feel like I had never made her happy enough. After that I put down anything sharp and stopped self harming but I have just put a mother razor into my leg for the first time and really just need a few ways that I can keep my head clear for more than a few hours at a time ,6.973461538461539,4.156579065934069,7.027554945054948,85.19869505494508,66.03296703296704,9.53956043956044,27.145604395604394,5.985473137389443,0.9446241758241758,329,4,77,1,4,106,64,91,0.09,0.8490000000000001,0.061,-0.1278,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,8,0,4,2,2,5,2,19,10,3,0,1,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,3,4,2,10,2,17,6,4,23,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,13,55,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380792896421814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206897181520287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072611693487363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094066547105507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343694125696464,0.13201622401078936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143698244569642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671568587002145,0.0,0.0,0.18965102830704345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198397486739765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425259358994942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028057197048163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3497113892495708,0.12335082587251013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950001708433851,0.0,0.0,0.13702173845781346,0.14252382701787242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715362013951928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838318857201288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927794999898033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449530192973432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232630193310765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466801574219752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,godisdeadimadeanalt,2019/01/14,"healthy coping skills im a fairly young guy, and im addicted to drugs. i need to find a way to deal with my overwhelming anxiety and depression in a healthier  way, or i WILL die. do you guys have any recommendations on what i can replace drugs with? 12 step programs havent worked for me in the past, ive been in regan multiple times.",2.5225490196078444,4.416210470588236,4.2741176470588265,84.60519607843139,76.64705882352942,8.650980392156864,26.03921568627451,9.2995712137729,2.2262568627450983,264,10,56,7,6,89,51,68,0.141,0.818,0.041,-0.765,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,1,4,0,7,3,0,0,0,7,8,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,7,0,10,6,0,10,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,1,3,31,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21902731464667344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662928209807634,0.0,0.15369964154257326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20713483458137852,0.1730480388178281,0.0,0.2085183432903004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46599588372849005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18363292874713516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978754359917567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4340459656860508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489761365337893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19179637163279695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715531721758772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189543995695498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626871889147502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,trissy-bear,2019/01/14,Missed dosages of Lovan (fluoxetine)?? I take 80mg Lovan each morning but I've run out of scripts until my next appointment which is four days away. Can I last and not have any big effects till then? ,2.4057692307692307,4.83477258974359,3.0381410256410284,90.64644230769231,79.51282051282051,5.951282051282053,25.134615384615394,7.1686216300943375,1.0598153846153844,157,6,32,2,4,49,35,39,0.059,0.941,0.0,-0.2824,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,6,5,1,10,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,6,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33495150905179444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627677936761362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31765458919327283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40149473149795695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5238334805928687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703369855602378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chaoticlazy,2019/01/14,"Feeling 45645 emotions in 5 seconds Hi! This is not exactly a big issue for me right now because i'm feeling good at the moment but it's an issue when i feel bad. So the thing is; one moment i'm the happiest person in the whole world, 5 seconds later i'm crying, 5 seconds later i'm happy again and it's a little bit histeric, then a few moments later i'm having a temper tantrum and so on. 

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AND HOW TO STOP IT like can't i just turn the happy mode on and the others off",0.9112149532710276,2.6454547476635533,3.8016915887850473,86.86421962616824,80.96261682242991,5.775327102803737,22.84953271028037,6.742157984588678,0.7683390654205606,386,13,80,4,10,138,67,107,0.165,0.639,0.196,0.4004,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,2,0,11,0,5,0,0,1,1,13,15,10,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,0,3,3,4,8,15,3,21,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,0,12,54,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703282920252902,0.12194821092139585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21840204913217973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974478846408085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502856323117845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30345284657864313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677918814224499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690295625248603,0.4259124499075193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41759903894076017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773399466580056,0.20050197716506615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555859903915582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17467535317061111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084102936724602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725019220778592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290388155310653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175962185486605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18051339893457827,0.223347925709572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ftOblivion,2019/01/14,"My health may cost me my job Hey everyone this is my first post but here goes
I am a prison officer and I have recently suffered a head injury due to a car accident, i have been suspended from my job because they are worried about my metal health mainly lack of empathy. - Empath deficit disorder. The crash has changed me but I don’t feel any different mental health wise and I cant remember being any different does any one else suffer from this?",2.301379310344828,4.993608160919543,3.6719655172413823,84.23208620689657,82.33333333333334,8.077701149425286,25.94137931034483,8.841846274778883,2.5217089655172416,358,15,67,10,10,117,65,87,0.377,0.585,0.037000000000000005,-0.9904,4,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,4,0,11,4,1,0,0,8,12,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,2,0,2,1,1,13,1,5,9,2,5,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,44,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422536649882256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022667337578278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774709505521797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505531406512624,0.19227086852765427,0.0,0.14681048313725656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014441313553572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030468265168965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482598537701136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269907476435278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721731805161089,0.5349724946927321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329576720454303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906558964152962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368051283226482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067052672846452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656456684755178,0.0,0.1900427125196852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037141339690048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PoeticEarplug,2019/01/14,"borderline personality disorder diagnosis hi all 18F here. recently been diagnosed w BPD and PTSD. i’ve decided to go off of meds because if anything i find that they make me worse, and i’m scared of them. i’m in therapy etc. but i just feel like since the diagnosis i feel worse? maybe because there’s so much attention on it now. i’m not sure. my mum is convinced i have autism spectrum disorder, not bpd. 
basically, does anyone have advice on dealing with a BPD diagnosis? did anyone find they were incorrectly diagnosed? 
",2.7909863945578235,5.715626704081633,4.933775510204082,74.2356292517007,82.9795918367347,9.389115646258505,29.595238095238088,9.516144504307137,3.762303401360544,419,21,74,15,12,144,72,98,0.162,0.772,0.066,-0.8286,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,6,2,0,1,2,17,13,5,0,1,5,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,2,9,3,8,10,3,7,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,3,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360312490082792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19467322702066828,0.0,0.11455531429964785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971831543599186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5259781782865239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351607205079298,0.0,0.28258389185353505,0.0,0.0,0.3190860479733548,0.0,0.1218207865394552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552523513141159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407742558540694,0.09944934758016677,0.0,0.0,0.2544649400593021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911441801947779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800939845768432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292160299550244,0.0,0.1398519157354076,0.0,0.15462734464583594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233299665861402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154998611423552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16272527004238824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374498958747756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393702661803021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515328246192848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312007376042489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15919507873155456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837271921443429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cozyblue,2019/01/14,"Very Particular About How My Clothing Feels At work, I wore a new long-sleeve T-shirt that I recently bought. Unfortunately, the sleeves were too short and the material is comprised of synthetic fibers.

There are two main things I don't like when it comes to clothing:

1. Long sleeves that are too short
2. Synthetic fabrics

The combination was so horrendous to me that I couldn't focus on my work. I felt so uncomfortable. It was a mess.

Does anyone else know what could be the cause of this? I find it strange how psychologically I'm affected by this.",3.2694842657342678,6.002601875,4.095349650349649,82.54055944055945,78.32692307692308,8.012587412587413,26.762237762237763,8.841846274778883,2.261761538461538,441,18,87,11,11,141,73,104,0.182,0.818,0.0,-0.9489,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,9,2,0,0,6,0,10,0,0,4,0,12,17,6,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,6,2,9,1,8,8,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,54,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684623872621237,0.2468591017647657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474993166086029,0.0,0.20753804983856253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236132107566187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21083762603275055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012643425444253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218203836714933,0.0,0.2313285634221681,0.0,0.2202037328551194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240767124646294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770520061524553,0.0,0.0,0.4264272141347768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326896640005276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23788723228527636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006178908624166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353515469347954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19879074683153175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35079675654676296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,silentmemory33,2019/01/14,"Why can't I remember the easiest things? Hey guys, I don't know where to come up with the question and I don't know if it is a mental health problem but I need to get some ideas.

Sorry English isn't mother tongue so there could be some inconvenient expressions.

I got the problem that there are many things I can hardly remember. Very common problem, right? But I got the feeling that it's really different for me.

Yesterday I had friends here and I asked ""How was Silvester?"". They told me we already talked about that topic via phone. We also talked about Silvester last year. My gf said it was very cozy last year, we had our best friends here. But I didn't remember. She said we went out on the balcony to see the fireworks. Still didn't remember. She said we saw the neighbors kid on the other balcony. Then I remembered. But the rest of the day is still under shadow.

When I am at work, sometimes I need to visit coworkers I don't know (I'm in IT Support). So I look their names up in the phone list because there are pictures of everyone, so that I know who to speak with. When I arrive the department I completely forgot the face of the person's I just looked up.

It sucks because often I give promises in my company and don't keep them because I just forget about them. Also I do the same mistakes again and again.

But other of things I can memorize completely. It seems pretty random which things I forget and what keeps in mind.

I did some checks for my short-term memory and I was always average or better... 

I have a lot of bad memories of my childhood. Some strange shit happened there, won't go into detail. I don't know if that is connected with it.

Do you think it is a mental health issue or am I just dumber as I think?

I really needed to write those things down. Thank you for your help. ",1.8590087719298225,4.236173994444447,3.1497368421052663,89.35421052631581,81.2777777777778,6.345029239766082,22.251461988304094,7.573540080772713,1.0137777777777774,1418,46,285,23,38,459,181,360,0.117,0.799,0.085,-0.8262,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,6,3,4,3,26,14,2,0,18,0,31,4,2,1,0,71,67,25,0,10,12,1,2,0,4,1,2,4,1,3,24,17,0,3,17,0,1,5,10,7,0,0,17,10,52,7,36,47,8,36,0,0,4,0,42,16,2,13,15,208,76,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006252273337678,0.13053256718121528,0.0679089669315845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629760212844762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814386050189977,0.14925248970203087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564832932664987,0.0721805053216361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030280060187034,0.17114039644217674,0.0,0.0,0.06516173593041932,0.0,0.0,0.05263395346647423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526873319817016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798519328652913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041266235994615215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610876974617674,0.0,0.04263968339986362,0.0782911024560546,0.04638283079191334,0.0,0.13054753722307064,0.0,0.0,0.08081019269864807,0.07217054534008076,0.0,0.07310966225636435,0.0,0.0,0.17350266052318444,0.0,0.0,0.05470380630300385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213170341468196,0.0,0.08518328639695852,0.0,0.14508365104054058,0.0,0.0,0.22426321624008186,0.13305178476008342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370695641952953,0.0,0.0,0.06938487611905968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274327561200827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449441735826592,0.0,0.08240636597858253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154612039500287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126175708336728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303026642759864,0.0,0.23427928175442544,0.0,0.0,0.09142579410204382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456739126279094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4622609091446814,0.06969748000308856,0.2328993731573055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503539010145225,0.07429786194045837,0.0,0.0,0.0837750812444229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071783479831386,0.09135962743237518,0.0,0.0,0.1303532873103101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261402855907956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311956738954447,0.0,0.07513874237259904,0.0,0.0,0.2711019027802823,0.10458926617822938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798519328652913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134679363585282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565652882000648,0.07364348634008194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941559739641415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511283176516062
mentalhealth,MinionOfDoom,2019/01/14,"Husband had a psychotic break for the first time, I'm devastated.  My husband has had clinical depression for 5 years, alcohol abuse for at least the last 3 of those years.  Crippling PTSD from a natural disaster that flooded our home 2 years ago was another layer. More trauma piled on in the last few years we said might mean Complex PTSD. And then he snapped out of it 3 months ago and was the happiest and most productive I'd seen him in a long time. 

And yesterday he had a psychotic break, which he has never had in his entire life. It was scary, I left with our dogs when he wasn't looking because I was scared. He cut his wrist badly after and was at least in touch enough to ask a neighbor to call 911.

He's being admitted for psychiatric evaluation. I've never been apart from him like this. We've been together nearly 13 years. We have an amazing super network helping me. But I'm devastated and I feel so much guilt for not pushing him to get help when he was first being extra weird days ago.

He's my best friend and the love of my life and I'm so scared for him. ",3.435857843137253,4.981648495370372,4.4977015250544685,85.44686274509804,73.30555555555556,8.230501089324619,26.594771241830074,8.841846274778883,1.924423529411765,849,30,175,17,17,277,126,216,0.16699999999999998,0.6920000000000001,0.141,-0.763,0,0,1,0,1,0,18.0,4,0,0,4,5,14,1,3,11,0,19,6,1,0,2,22,31,14,0,0,2,2,2,1,2,1,4,1,2,0,6,12,1,0,4,0,0,1,4,8,0,2,15,5,17,6,25,13,9,38,0,1,2,1,29,11,0,2,25,106,23,0,0.0,0.15270219105306398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34273407664778216,0.1377339451100211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514232937188453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048576990121887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760974483562977,0.07856429136155872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352520211880545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160129096709094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831171914901974,0.0,0.1110044936594274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316789789223227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516579913437137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192511929316084,0.0,0.0,0.0995726719470416,0.0,0.0673346860118593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277162152091002,0.0,0.12927754246584994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101094434994412,0.0,0.0,0.1400289241171779,0.0,0.1820640660747316,0.06296445003036781,0.0,0.0,0.11405509219488323,0.10822707078193412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631958652871192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038853058267609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672173019655398,0.0,0.0,0.10287110011936712,0.0,0.09474191803913933,0.0,0.19880100864530975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30130856518712185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259476707681323,0.0,0.25806351356243085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503023871994107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41497373798201787
mentalhealth,BigHonkerDonkers,2019/01/14,"I feel like I need to open up to my boyfriend and tell him I am just exsisting, not living, and that I am experiencing horrible suicidal ideation. How should I go about this?  I have had PTSD for 10 years fyi. I am on meds and seeing a Psychiatrist.

I've been with my bf for 4 years now and he is aware that I have PTSD. He is amazing and he is my hero. He has kept me alive and going. I ask this even after 4 years because this is a new development and I don't know how to go about this.


I'm just going to say that my mental state is in complete chaos due to going off of a med that I shouldn't of took for this long and I didn't need. I feel like I'm waking up out of a daze and I am now confronted with severe emotional instability and my PTSD is kicking up. 

I have been experiencing severe lows that will last for up to 3 weeks due to withdrawal of the med (a Benzodiazepine). With each drop of the dose, the worse the lows get, and the worse the suicidal urges get. I was pretty close to an attempt before Christmas, but I didn't tell my boyfriend. By the time I thought about telling him, it felt irrelevant. I am scheduled to drop the dose in a couple months and to be honest, I think I might not make it. An actual attempt is a high probability and I need to tell my bf.

Between my PTSD type symptoms such as dissociation and these lows, I am just surviving or existing. Almost everyday is a fight and I feel myself on the edge of my breaking point.

I just don't know how or when I should tell my boyfriend. I have almost told him a couple times in the past month, but the timing felt inappropriate, he was having a good day, or I was feeling good for once. 

I'm unsure how I should start the conversation. I am unsure how to tell him that I was close to attempts in the past and how bad the suicidal urges are. I don't know how to do it in a way that won't cause him to get depressed or upset... If that is even remotely possible given the topic. I'm not sure how to handle the aftermath of the conversation.

Any advice?",3.2044470774091636,4.068642983412328,4.855715639810427,85.30377883096367,72.95734597156398,8.185908372827804,24.96714060031596,8.548686976883017,1.3856907424960507,1577,46,354,27,30,535,176,422,0.134,0.7879999999999999,0.078,-0.97,0,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,0,0,0,5,21,17,2,1,30,0,44,4,1,10,1,71,78,33,3,8,14,0,6,2,2,7,3,1,0,0,17,24,0,1,11,0,0,6,10,9,0,0,16,10,49,8,51,54,1,57,0,4,1,0,24,21,0,8,27,236,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.07571953085899882,0.0,0.0,0.0758229372957937,0.0,0.0,0.1553962716855676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0527658699648778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253893835604625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478687610612717,0.04729994498715415,0.0,0.06602588944989328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970933842952299,0.0,0.0,0.08135473672454822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171025704542794,0.0,0.050041036669958884,0.0,0.0668306981762821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728163029988015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024988295520994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693331719442616,0.11086484466844294,0.14900280940486482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216173488830048,0.0,0.22048932140287048,0.13016257804206136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198121677863605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279291759993791,0.06324861426591988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581599657984174,0.0,0.0685160005599511,0.06866732319261304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179389977463051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585648417427101,0.0,0.07819544826963863,0.08231386301295887,0.0,0.0,0.12386791230691124,0.0,0.0,0.17260257817725475,0.0,0.07493975915174446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263396438457968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481425101545495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733504224412746,0.08747439785711045,0.0,0.07893993009030646,0.08365832879163924,0.0,0.3628080470279049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170503192251309,0.0,0.0,0.06183153889408674,0.0,0.0,0.17531590568609184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054920692698209185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546222957535614,0.0,0.07313044152026706,0.08064878973446146,0.0,0.0,0.4069179746809864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971843229905353,0.0,0.061600138806581786,0.1357352275969606,0.0,0.0,0.07414339337915685,0.08620862767546399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06158967577803547,0.0622403879173065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814769956102356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990195650590848
mentalhealth,Cring3Lord98,2019/01/14,"Persona [888] Okay so, I’ve come to realize that, I as a person, have adapted to many different situations life has thrown at me,  but each time i have gone through shit, I have given myself to lack of identity and more the respective roll of a persona. Within each persona I tailored them to live in the benefit of the doubt and basically shaped my ideal sense of living to a set standard of rules. Those rules would be like just getting through a series of depressive attitudes, personality changes, lost of contact or even a lack of better living. Reasons so being is that I didn’t wanna succumb to my break point at a early stage of life so I denied all accounts of it, it got to a point where I became an empty shell of a human being. It’s been hell but I feel like I’ve finally broken free of what’s been making me this way. My question is that, why do you guys think I’m the way I am? I can further explain if needed.",4.704193548387097,5.240725387096777,6.061451612903228,79.21217741935487,69.3225806451613,8.565591397849463,30.553763440860216,8.59863814320734,2.334556989247312,726,28,141,11,12,246,117,186,0.181,0.682,0.13699999999999998,-0.8832,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,3,6,13,2,1,13,1,16,3,1,2,1,26,28,10,0,7,5,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,4,9,5,0,0,6,0,2,2,1,5,0,0,7,1,18,9,27,17,6,19,1,2,0,0,9,9,2,4,5,101,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385501288075686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206728324849538,0.14011276647441046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009439960656567,0.0,0.0,0.1699397179042989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743200638575104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224318857416339,0.11620067031420565,0.0,0.17818045756324286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849804552820182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300899568733459,0.0,0.0,0.16105389204134432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22977588731610266,0.1589299051374545,0.0,0.43088168568449897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775570027731128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857338753322544,0.16490650662421352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060652374903875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840479139749197,0.0,0.0,0.3075228502234988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221067765565516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723629459955688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696288475401513,0.0,0.18283088678480125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422267180185664,0.0,0.0,0.09484536166048584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582157267705783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467707191689718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554535154542853,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shegotsparkle,2019/01/14,"I hate that I can’t be the mother I’m supposed to be I’m supposed to be happy

I’m supposed to want to sit down and listen to my children’s conversations

I’m supposed to be able to handle their noise 

I’m supposed to not give in to their demands (and if I don’t, my anxiety makes me think that they honestly and truly hate me)

I’m supposed to want to want to tuck them in, but not being loved as a child is making it so difficult for me to give them my physical energy

I’m supposed to know what to respond when my children ask me questions without looking at them blankly and not knowing what to say

I’m sorry I’m not the best mother. I absolutely hate my self. But my children, if you ever, ever read this, know that I love you with every single atom that is in my body. My soul and my energy is for you. I hate my depression. I hate my anxiety. I wish life was so much easier. I wish I had you in a time where I could be happy. You, all four of you, are my life, my everything. And it pains me so much that I can’t give you all of me. Because I want all of you. But I don’t know how to receive your love, as I wasn’t able to love as a child. But I love you. Unconditionally. ",-0.029962530624008117,1.864752996108951,2.8148292261132717,91.83518230292552,85.18677042801556,5.830753710909352,20.802565211125525,7.0931098945946705,0.4613990200317049,908,29,212,13,27,320,102,257,0.158,0.653,0.189,0.8118,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,10,6,1,8,17,5,0,5,0,18,9,1,3,5,39,56,20,0,9,11,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,6,10,7,0,0,6,1,0,1,10,8,0,1,3,3,51,9,34,46,7,13,1,1,1,5,39,7,0,3,4,150,61,1,0.19610314978655088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001837282878655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166498653554432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059771329973125814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289907854904906,0.0,0.0,0.10891319556114937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782862040230164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445167777919799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738652609914038,0.08261268077733318,0.0,0.08812243311202919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821800155818284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875544947103647,0.0,0.4840281526342973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155463251645256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385134541533763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233862799018421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4424768726512737,0.0,0.13090037524843676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415837901072326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433378883649136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984020403756048,0.0,0.0980781090419625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797454785717914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228917686758307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097607104923496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628274900425427,0.0,0.0,0.05717466183014685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23133343720304206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255089442689805,0.09451821921850784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sexydropoutnomad16,2019/01/14,"I think my dad was a pedophile,i dont know how to handle it.Maybe im just overreacting? Im 18 now and some troubling/wierd memories come up from when i was younger living with my dad that i now recognize as odd.
I try not to think about them and i write them off as silly paranoid or maybe even false memories.

Heres a little background:
Early childhood: 
-lived in a very religious household.i have a older -sister is 7 years older than me
-my dad has always had trouble controlling his temper and disciplined me a 3 year old toddler,and my older sister until one day he went too far with my sisted and hit her with a metal bar.After that he swore never to lay a hand on us again.
-at some point child services was called,i thought it was all my fault and was scared to death,before they came.I was instructed by my mother to not say anything about the ""disciplines""
Middle childhood:
I discovered porn at age 8 ,and from there on had a very unhealthy look at sex for my age to the point i tried to come unto our 15 year old neighbor.My dad found out and got extremely mad then everything else from that moments a blur like most of my childhood.
 My parents were constantly fighting for 12 years and when i was 9 got divorced.
Shortly after, my mother decided she wanted to start over somewhere fresh and moved  to the USA. I didn't want to leave my friends behind and opted to stay with him at my grandmother's house,my older sister(not the same dads) was starting college and was barely home. Eventually(about 1 year) i moved to the states with my mother.
I was NOT raped, he never did anything to me,but i remember from a very young age just wierd things he would do. For example he was obsessed with my feet and used to kiss them to an extent that was wierd even as i got older,and always gave me ""foot massages"" that extended to more than just my feet. Also from a very young age my dad used to always slap my ass but as i got older it got more uncomfortable for me.When i was living with him in my grandmother's house i slept in the same bed as him ,he woud give me ""back rubs"" so i would fall asleep and sometimes extended it to inside my underwear ,but he wouldnt touch me in that way.He would barely go inside my underwear.
This has all been very hard for me to write because i have a really good relationship with him and the thought of him ever seeing my in that way makes me want to cry.
I try to push these memories away om the daily because maybe im just remembering wrong ,i want to be wrong. Maybe im just extremely crazy for even perverting my childhood like this when it could've been in reality perfectly normal.",4.352080308880312,5.443006043809526,4.980355212355214,84.62840154440156,70.46666666666667,8.113770913770914,26.760617760617762,8.441846121484758,1.6976038610038608,2083,66,419,32,37,669,250,525,0.099,0.8490000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.9593,1,0,0,0,3,0,53.0,2,0,4,2,25,17,4,2,21,0,32,11,7,5,6,75,62,30,0,9,11,12,4,2,1,4,0,1,2,1,15,25,0,3,9,0,0,8,8,10,0,1,31,7,64,7,74,25,10,75,0,0,2,5,43,23,1,5,43,261,79,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823926845511351,0.1817922672192934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985989066745215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684228267519693,0.05599902810850716,0.0,0.08878862956637479,0.0,0.0619699266219982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329403287208828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546703909422102,0.0,0.07869949700407351,0.08168103197257315,0.058145977112124624,0.0,0.07999641189756677,0.04696702151781592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535203166536733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083713601900202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430350728568414,0.0658756738513434,0.0,0.0,0.06545169794272206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985041974899895,0.0562655179040148,0.0,0.0,0.06986174610746684,0.04138893752772352,0.06108335288930889,0.2912297379370958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523817525016583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305084555798573,0.0,0.0,0.08403192047422375,0.0,0.0,0.31466015886488363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002350045588585,0.0,0.0,0.07711267233648424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115862859207651,0.07299121341480616,0.1929212114751672,0.0,0.061155858025168874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486122064426982,0.0,0.2926557433351866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480593607065582,0.0,0.0,0.1123364623299256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713544372866523,0.0,0.0,0.1528381716985108,0.0,0.049349072625519776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808651302768816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376890287809884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046654474840367374,0.0,0.0,0.07818832953817342,0.16499629335632154,0.0,0.0,0.057914498877718226,0.07291195947037818,0.0,0.05803323454051516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202719982375416,0.0,0.10309384167009768,0.07762328277658086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048382643000635266,0.09332846939294394,0.0,0.11563209866777333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833309323044058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760122644612006,0.12579730302465586,0.0,0.3004471520244428,0.17181965727859955,0.11561245809597155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751082871469756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520141566279205,0.15924853387418753,0.0,0.23448916080650464
mentalhealth,DrugsIzBad,2019/01/14,The world isn’t real or maybe it is idk. I have schizophrenia and bipolar 1 and I’ve never had too much of a problem with them because my meds work for the most part. But recently I’ve been seriously doubting my sanity. I’ve wanted to kill myself for years and I’ve tried doing it before and I’ve always been able to console myself by saying that it doesn’t really matter and I would die eventually anyway but about a week or two ago I started thinking that maybe the world is just in my head and that makes the statement “nothing really matters” a whole lot more true. Anyway I’m at the point where I know that it’s a crazy idea (is it though?) but eventually I will believe this completely and probably end up in an little white room somewhere. ,5.617733333333334,5.786567173333332,6.407333333333337,78.81033333333338,67.26666666666667,9.066666666666668,29.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.208533333333333,596,19,115,9,9,197,97,150,0.112,0.85,0.038,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,1,1,7,5,1,1,10,0,12,2,1,1,2,30,18,13,2,3,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,10,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,2,11,1,12,13,6,17,0,0,1,0,2,10,0,5,7,81,21,1,0.1647879215727006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607454973996084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711675163365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045318748452828,0.0,0.14022238405444545,0.1856595574676501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727770005475683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17102384593490036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459531868669687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911994885011555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860255054008269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18231341985839328,0.0,0.09056313211989944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516078875616574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009679804926894,0.0,0.0,0.10999721724895947,0.0,0.33110323244370593,0.0,0.18304223208957116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113808309720438,0.0,0.1270946039699913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581184551038281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844926059750613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577785004958905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17766925075771572,0.15767978585014986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756473141699684,0.21113472439072287,0.0,0.1627081923900553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104596933747828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663773904793512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558944629914556,0.16190329627120134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188018178460137,0.0,0.16097385475502018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719618565140599,0.0,0.13218293083141985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839798295199732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996756951959968,0.0,0.0,0.11706061148880068,0.0,0.0,0.10611801870858524
mentalhealth,Samuele_ia,2019/01/14,"How do I tell my mother I want to move out? I know for the majmajority of people, moving out at 18 isn't a very big deal to their parents. It is seen as responsible and good. My mom on the other hand does not want me to move out. She has this mentality that everything I do is to bring her down. If I tell her I want to move out, shes going to make the entire situation about herself and how I'm abandoning her after all that she did for me. The truth is, I cant handle living with my mom anymore. She gets over emotional about minor things, like If I dont do the dishes she'll yell at me for half an hour about how I'm useless and can't do anything right. If dont make dinner right she'll tell me that I dont care about her. I dont get how those correlate but she does it. All the time. Its the little things that keep on piling on eachother that make me feel worthless. She yells at me all the time. When I wake up, during the afternoon, and before I sleep. I dont know how much more of this I can take. I dont know when I'm just going to explode and say something wrong.
My mom is pretty traditional and thinks no one should move out before marriage but theres no way I can live with her that long. Please help me. How do I tell her I'm going to move out when I turn 18 without making her too upset. If you had a family similar to my mom, I would appreciate if you told me your story.",2.2636333434007843,3.0752071860465118,4.2116898218061,89.2356621866506,75.14617940199334,7.200302023557838,21.32301419510722,7.520522993642371,0.4799754152823921,1077,23,254,13,22,369,142,301,0.077,0.8270000000000001,0.096,0.1744,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,1,0,16,9,0,1,12,0,28,5,3,10,4,50,56,23,0,10,10,6,2,1,0,4,0,3,0,0,15,14,2,2,5,0,0,10,13,5,0,2,4,6,52,4,38,48,5,39,0,3,1,0,35,19,0,5,10,177,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729580929637965,0.0,0.0,0.060538872335755736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251991623063958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500583956543881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584371984075458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875689075170385,0.0,0.5173155810318302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275228921054083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611672952224501,0.0,0.06935184711643308,0.0,0.03719737820725756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687080693617976,0.0,0.1254284276992334,0.06170399925802625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931000183042907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244807727797993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538918936232734,0.0,0.0,0.1212904953126355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035940823138869885,0.07373285134742368,0.12992094383219685,0.06510394190192613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964245515930916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413762011461769,0.0,0.0,0.3446402766370668,0.0,0.4691365934881582,0.0540797627619987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04985049111805244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168677229697749,0.0,0.0,0.051001673325531585,0.0,0.0,0.08075380681987564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484346823780495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256505935799891,0.0,0.058502947640340634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826917068952141,0.07361952074731784,0.0,0.0,0.056635002674038974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055312771317643734,0.0,0.2572010766379612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774848388635414,0.04713837349932752,0.0,0.0,0.08579430953623154,0.0,0.0,0.0702958401542519,0.0,0.0,0.08001910935173198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606999778783822,0.13017409208584027,0.058393577719118635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709153766447841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225945413886888,0.0804333009831757,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hshsvdhsiabs,2019/01/14,"My situation After a few years of ignoring it, I’ve come to a time where I’ve decided that I should make a better effort to make myself happier. So here’s what’s happening, my self esteem is incredibly low, it always has been. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything but I just always assume everybody is better than me. I have a really hard time socializing because I get so nervous and I don’t really think I have important things to say. I’m at my best when I’m with people I love and trust, then I’m my bubbly and humorous self. But when I’m alone, I often feel overwhelmed and cry. This leads people to being very confused when I open up because it seems so strange. I’ve made lots of progress in socializing since I was young in an “in front of a crowd/class” way, but my friendmaking skills have gone to complete shit. I assume people don’t want to befriend me and when people show signs of taking interest in me in that way I get really uncomfortable and stand-offish even though I always do actually want to be friends. I also just doubt myself to succeed. I have a 3.4 gpa yet don’t think I’ll graduate college because I don’t think I’m smart enough. I’m not sure what my steps are gonna be exactly, but I guess I’m just putting this out there so I feel accountable to actually do something now. ",4.380092243186581,5.220759388679248,5.825628930817612,79.51760482180295,70.20754716981132,9.360587002096436,28.307127882599573,9.586721724236666,2.4613102725366875,1038,36,208,23,18,352,139,265,0.13,0.6779999999999999,0.192,0.9597,0,1,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,8,20,18,1,4,7,0,22,3,1,4,2,44,49,21,0,3,8,0,3,0,1,2,1,1,0,2,10,11,0,1,9,1,1,6,6,7,0,0,5,4,30,11,25,39,4,31,0,2,0,1,7,11,1,8,12,130,40,5,0.0,0.0,0.2265871573426341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024111161551923,0.0,0.0928424453026166,0.2898051275962411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955376470074245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21231431221609007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183626664954328,0.20535609654978476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000698002726804,0.12172512376694825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752671338462396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783565116529142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995886918538808,0.0,0.07668073928774623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740390435610101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969598016934274,0.0,0.12131141091485186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789354365053435,0.0,0.10266388002458156,0.0,0.10399979048456323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870121617955377,0.10478175509977844,0.10985345288321777,0.15499082448723447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219471836831523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670919463606408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22312345141289955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232471212146387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569002559693846,0.24222824157284584,0.0,0.1191715380478152,0.09603634470258522,0.13049749357703747,0.0,0.23669181897807814,0.0,0.08937686952158742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094197142487958,0.0,0.08729022886054512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712945243885705,0.2231701275953408,0.11406436455333087,0.0,0.13539377499896207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579189099758377,0.1369536187177338,0.18430422637174887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476243319578607
mentalhealth,ididntknowmyname,2019/01/14,"Is making it through the day enough? I struggle with depression and for the past two weeks, all I have the energy to do is sleep after pretending like I'm fine all day. I'm falling behind in my work and everything keeps building up and I feel like a piece of garbage who can't do simple tasks. I guess my question is, Is it okay to be proud of myself for just making it through the day without killing myself? Am I allowed to be proud even though I'm so far behind on all my work?",3.5166571428571416,4.353923179999999,4.3774285714285694,89.12300000000002,72.2,7.314285714285713,27.285714285714285,7.447530270364453,1.2922714285714283,378,13,82,4,7,122,62,100,0.07,0.722,0.208,0.9162,1,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,4,4,9,1,1,5,1,11,1,1,3,3,16,19,5,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,10,6,17,17,5,11,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,8,60,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999599641911647,0.0,0.1780512250758579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21360132890867886,0.0,0.13653936490723134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579035473143612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452595193597096,0.14768378866096046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277299800181997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374594108047065,0.2287096658473147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198997526227636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759799780036413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19734161200332426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315783819310589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20687346415403987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161129875634135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20310544785198129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20193947631376133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16582166010957505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927472332573515,0.0,0.3009953162927185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lamemf,2019/01/14,"Help for sister Hello everyone
I need some help with sister's mental health. So around 6-7 years ago she was diagnosed with depression over her some obsession with someone.
Later she was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Over the years she was under alot of medication non stop with constant counselling sessions.
Now she has gone out of control because of her anger. She is my first cousin and I just get my eyes wet when I see my aunt and uncle suffering from this. She frequently breaks stuff recently broke lcd tv, broke all cups and stuff made up of glass. She gets in this hyper state for no reason.
She has to be admitted to hospital for her being in better state but that literally costs double the amount my uncle earns per month. And rehabilitation centre are in really bad conditions. Sexual harassment, assault and all the bullshits are common at that place. I am from India though.
I am literally lost which direction to move, the most we can do is have her admitted to hospital for a month on tops.",4.305591591591593,7.0328631297297335,4.874549549549549,78.42035285285287,74.45945945945947,8.651651651651651,25.412912912912912,9.2995712137729,2.546039039039039,809,28,139,21,18,258,122,185,0.163,0.774,0.063,-0.9667,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,6,6,11,3,1,6,0,16,5,1,3,2,28,25,9,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,13,0,2,3,1,1,2,1,10,0,1,6,3,22,1,30,17,8,32,0,5,2,0,22,13,0,4,14,100,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434787730730736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408936396631078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351460086262997,0.09866811239341232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315166653313613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491273046168695,0.18153930931110804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940943992172616,0.3285681822889409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546637881534623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767769664597698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912992537075303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204919036762326,0.0,0.0,0.21698216168164047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766888782156567,0.0,0.0,0.15315547109495792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630565227368696,0.1631164112477791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25838958368249465,0.17203114378478315,0.0,0.12001684559824374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910883632770238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036914071021616,0.1664186307959763,0.1598168322587431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289811485133073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714311738386745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353218767039928,0.0,0.0,0.37058104447453744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902623931979498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20846455665764851
mentalhealth,LemonZoo,2019/01/14,"I miss my childhood self I miss having joy and a drive to play some of my video games. I miss playing those games with my sibling. I miss staying up to watch some youtube videos on those games. I miss watching my favourite streamer play those games. I miss having an online friend group that i could not only chat with, but actively seek me out to chat with. I miss having joy.

  


  


  


Now I dont have any drive to play any of those games. My also lost interestamd we stopped playing together. I dont find joy in watching others play those games. I dont have any online friends to chat with. I have nothing.

  


  


Now i just lie here all sad, just watching youtube videos of the games we used to play. Going through the internet and finding stuff I used to do.

  


  


Now i just spend my time on reddit and youtube wasting it away. Browsing reddit as a way not to get lonely. Browsing youtube as to not get bored.

  


It depresses me that all of the joy in my life is now just gone. All of those fun moments ill never relive.  


  


What I would give just to spend another day building houses in minecraft, or playing roblox with my sibling. Just playing games and enjoying life with none of the stresses i have now.",3.2349999999999994,5.178919313304725,3.235045064377684,92.61883369098715,74.75107296137341,5.861716738197424,27.10064377682404,6.508806274219699,0.9776010300429188,932,36,191,7,20,282,105,233,0.113,0.649,0.239,0.9894,0,3,0,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,0,1,13,30,0,1,7,0,14,3,0,2,4,37,29,9,0,2,11,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,13,13,0,1,2,23,2,4,8,13,0,0,2,4,29,17,33,25,6,25,0,11,4,0,18,8,0,3,11,125,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839631075516835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020392184716549,0.1552443554827306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909876400863205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820665605777475,0.0,0.0,0.09548063055005236,0.0,0.12751608732763073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5205439181860395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27063181690257737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22876763116276136,0.0,0.1547010471127469,0.1420239852156329,0.08414078059952602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083094677756452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20914556324213554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161512761990174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418603852657384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420589029138566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259943747962275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444945503890328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780263992387852,0.0,0.12377724389979435,0.16959189098728247,0.0,0.1694829448268062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632971377931101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557370134645213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751597228980723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051711644387399,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SanFranThrwaway,2019/01/14,"I'm 33(M) and am deeply uncomfortable with other people touching my body—advise on how to deal w/ trauma? This past weekend I had a pretty crazy epiphany. I've gone my entire life deeply uncomfortable with other people touching me sexually. Kisses or fingertips anywhere on my body other than my lips or my cock have me literally squirming with discomfort, and screaming in my head ""just get through this, I hate this""

Yesterday, in a conversation with my wife, we stumbled upon the epiphany that the years of physical abuse I endured as a child are the most likely the source of my extreme aversion to other people touching me sexually, and to me needing to be in control when having sex. My body is used to physical touch being harmful, I literally recoil at times when my neck or chest are kissed. 

For the sake of my own mental health, my sexuality, and my relationship, **I would love to know what books / videos / podcasts I can start to dive into, so that I can better understand my trauma and start to heal.** 

For what it's worth, I feel very positive and optimistic. I've been struggling with intimacy, self-love, and sexuality for decades and am grateful to have stumbled upon this insight. Can't wait to get to work and hopefully grow. ",6.621315789473684,7.783596394736843,7.002912280701758,71.92805263157895,65.31578947368422,9.588771929824562,34.059649122807016,9.725611199111238,3.4147733333333328,990,43,167,20,15,322,132,228,0.138,0.742,0.12,-0.5485,0,0,0,0,1,0,34.0,1,0,0,3,5,13,1,2,8,0,16,14,7,3,0,32,31,17,0,3,4,1,5,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,13,16,0,2,4,3,1,2,1,7,0,0,3,6,27,6,34,25,2,20,0,0,0,5,7,9,1,5,10,117,40,2,0.0,0.2024156976663544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109277833134713,0.0,0.3795261418425275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916099147460494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761270014776085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638108336759599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851213990111156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686676590159561,0.17532959733653436,0.1815933464964988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16968118700694096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388837683595648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066829133343525,0.0834630662021498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541884245216183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216503561389318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266745898749663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630846877988453,0.3553137350868512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380418139546344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183416624339124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782218235760304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418407522064984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17859750281892564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961730855359847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778489130068608,0.0,0.14754962030799815,0.0,0.14095966173499674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437246936466145,0.0,0.0,0.12135877532986784,0.0,0.0,0.1100143987556224
mentalhealth,jorfed,2019/01/14,"Do I have schizophrenia? I can tickle myself mildly in certain spots and people always tell me that it’s impossible, I finally looked it up and it says that only people with schizo can do it. Now I’m really worried that I have it and just haven’t had a psychotic break or whatever yet. Or are there other kinds of people that can do it? It didn’t really say that you can only do it if you have schizophrenia but it kind of seemed like it, it also said schcizoafective tendencies or whatever what does that mean? I’m really worried. I’m 20, my only other symptom is monotone voice but only sometimes which is supposed to be from depression.  I once heard my moms voice say a word while was falling asleep a while ago, I looked it up and that’s supposed to be normal when tired or half asleep. Schizo doesn’t run in my family.  ",4.2146138211382125,5.517824323170736,5.3534146341463416,81.02308943089433,71.01219512195122,8.393495934959349,25.252032520325198,8.841846274778883,1.8162252032520327,655,19,126,12,12,217,88,164,0.101,0.8690000000000001,0.03,-0.9105,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,21,4,2,0,1,18,30,15,0,2,8,1,0,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,23,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,5,9,13,4,10,23,0,14,0,1,2,0,9,4,0,6,8,90,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445430979176178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227618830673897,0.116822339797266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092454690198748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286319043685955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132354690295308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15379908945777834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29240571568776885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859134562800125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23579783241907035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529345244619666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644323798651202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756017975212315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951923254733482,0.0,0.42711586417039216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920027782191704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26982756178846784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355059937304886,0.3349502502781278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278130188987115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885716055742955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459272254063403,0.0,0.0,0.12271399485901675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136678787581568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28516186258456955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,enlistedlysad,2019/01/14,"Enlisted and believe I'm depressed but not risking my career Obviously I just made this account, but I figured I should try to talk to someone. I'm in the US military, won't specify which branch or where because I'm a tad paranoid of being found out. I've been in for a year so far and I really enjoy stay I do, but this is a problem I believe I've had for a long time. I dealt with depression in middleschool and highschool and almost killed myself on several occasions, but nothing ever really came of it because I'm a really good liar and that helped convince my family I was okay even after my mom walked into my room at 1am with several knives on my nightstand. I think I honestly have several issues many of which have to do what my upbringing and the very isolated and controlling life I lived in under my mother. I realized in the last year they I really need therapy. Like, I believe I'm a good person and overall in life I do very well, but that's because I keep all of my sadness and sorrow inside myself. I don't tell anyone or do anything as far as healthy coping. I want to recieve therapy but I absolutely will not risk the next several years of my contract screwing myself because as some people know, mental health is treated like the plague and your life is essentially over if you admit you have a problem. I know that I'm past the point of wanting to kill myself, so I am not a risk to myself or my fellow military members, but I understand I have a problem and I just felt the need to tell someone. If anyone actually sees this and has questions feel free to ask. I'm going to bed pretty soon though so I'll answer more tomorrow. 

Posted also on r/depression ",4.2978571428571435,5.465226404761907,6.024761904761906,76.80357142857143,70.66666666666667,9.052380952380952,30.964285714285715,9.408791572840183,2.9517821428571427,1336,57,245,29,24,460,174,336,0.142,0.706,0.153,0.0031,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,1,3,1,1,12,25,4,3,16,1,21,5,0,2,3,62,46,32,2,10,17,2,2,2,1,3,4,0,2,1,10,17,0,2,12,0,2,3,5,14,1,0,7,3,44,12,37,35,3,36,0,4,1,1,16,19,1,8,14,170,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.08411588651880934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631389422426554,0.0,0.0,0.06893174957303055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054196278548784,0.0,0.07093282751059525,0.0,0.08058260580502452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101796859937909,0.0,0.0,0.2913436731137101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858646180097136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667732082073834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227241780289315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693233844099105,0.07797016640714242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125890719879905,0.0,0.0435838183041841,0.0,0.08276268529860979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451061600613372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048987769806101415,0.14459599154107153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162343316848368,0.0,0.0,0.057776065516818936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899673252816848,0.0,0.07661589836644771,0.1907285288691961,0.0,0.09474328863136544,0.07026210014389947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826505762438376,0.08422304909014762,0.0,0.07611357416563537,0.07628167659908049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156173266652708,0.0,0.08739027932272217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686635242345342,0.0,0.0,0.10095294293028274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782804043734972,0.0,0.0,0.09167154033335267,0.0,0.0,0.0827083940185185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228483742177538,0.059758181102011726,0.07526393909935629,0.0,0.0,0.08148407339800258,0.0,0.08255294663124221,0.08769338803278948,0.0,0.24743680644273014,0.0,0.0,0.09656042288371494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208801491822372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868788871108325,0.0,0.0,0.3895125249810236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606896113011775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918745861912008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928192353308146,0.15068004160629647,0.0,0.1971476771590631,0.0,0.0,0.055231589019588766,0.08468816377001942,0.0,0.0502621929094788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852213868285041,0.0,0.0,0.08973416873115315,0.10368443773170537,0.0,0.0,0.14224318672025302,0.10168250650659102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750149960860216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665242219458359
mentalhealth,Time-Runner,2019/01/14,"Hair I can't stop changing/cutting my hair. When it grows I cut it and immediately wish it was long.
Then when it's long I cut it. I'm not even sure I'm a girl,I don't know what I am. ",-2.276666666666668,-0.7954097777777775,1.2933333333333366,101.82000000000004,91.22222222222223,4.488888888888889,15.666666666666668,5.6839178017228535,-1.127533333333333,140,3,42,1,5,51,29,45,0.159,0.723,0.118,-0.1466,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,4,2,2,0,1,6,8,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,22,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536486942735943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21105326173665054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6797102734998968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210669100735245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36194444530390746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416164200658793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aisle_5,2019/01/14,"No Longer Consuming True Crime... So I’ve been a fan of the true crime genre for all of my adult life. When I had cable, I was always watching Escape. I haven’t had cable for about 6 years and shifted to listening to podcasts primarily for entertainment in the past 2-3 years. A huge bulk of my subscriptions at the beginning were True Crime shows and I couldn’t get enough. 

Anyway, I lost my job of 7 years in October. That job took a serious toll on my mental health so I’m extremely relieved to be done with it. Before and during that job, adult life had been a struggle for the most part. I wouldn’t say I’m completely “happy” now (still struggling with confidence/motivation/focus) but my stress and anxiety levels are way lower than normal and I just noticed that I’ve lost all interest in my true crime entertainment (even the good docs on Netflix). 

My question is this: Is this correlation or coincidence? Am I not as gravitated towards that kind of content because I’m not as depressed or stressed out? Or could it be that my mind is just hungry for different things because I’m getting older and my interests are shifting naturally? ",6.0167234600262125,6.843427605504588,6.6672608125819135,74.99605504587156,66.52293577981652,10.081782437745742,33.002621231979035,10.125756701596842,3.363359370904325,910,38,166,21,14,299,128,218,0.136,0.6990000000000001,0.165,0.7906,5,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,10,20,0,4,9,0,20,3,0,0,6,30,31,15,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,10,9,0,0,1,4,0,1,6,8,0,0,11,3,17,12,27,15,5,21,0,3,1,0,5,10,0,5,9,110,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226326822321273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321252972273184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449052352965346,0.0,0.11480598048341842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145981817814382,0.0,0.0,0.10772170111226484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620538389478476,0.0,0.0,0.14096145323081835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380687979636552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394072094460124,0.0,0.08911260963823771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097903210026255,0.0,0.0,0.11316350691276054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362359507726358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341239895004249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016583382651695,0.0,0.0,0.14049719149275555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19059430834008254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29455966446056203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359664395698769,0.0,0.13622954942716262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321917998145366,0.0,0.15360597335347576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461039367401074,0.12879528220876782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113995852916273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729286268836777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774634572071973,0.0,0.3090981100601782,0.2820928940394072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963407044111851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498997758132829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709228113798076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606498941010689
mentalhealth,awkward_Altuser,2019/01/14,"Feeling down Effects job, general motivation, and relationships with people. Saw therapist while back but stopped going. Feel empty. Always tired. Alone. Lack of worth. I feel that when people are being nice it's just not real and they secretly hate me. Never comfortable unless I'm alone, then I feel lonely. Always feel guilty for nothing. Unhappy. ",3.4607062146892638,6.185480254237291,4.127500000000001,74.22763418079097,102.38983050847456,6.712429378531074,23.56073446327684,7.492282038375204,2.5548632768361585,281,11,38,7,12,89,50,59,0.38,0.477,0.14300000000000002,-0.9679,1,4,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,2,3,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,20,11,7,0,1,4,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,8,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,6,4,2,5,9,1,8,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,6,24,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095576637820681,0.0,0.0,0.3290386275145441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203487722124678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4998671849933651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236912939189664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19520808173460436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19620710977605527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249425601374736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897181738635778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27414902989276313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22504924110394733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122778462947056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530321012527774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295687658975841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272506547173761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jtaub32,2019/01/14,Why do I feel this way? I honestly live a good life. I really do. I’m an 18 year old college student and my parents are able to provide for me and spoil me. I am very well off compared to most in this world. I live in a nice city in a nice home with parents that love me. Even with all that I still have this sense of sadness and loneliness that comes over me every night. Something is wrong but I don’t know what it is. I feel like I have no reason to feel this way but I do. I feel so alone at time and I feel that there is no one way I can just tell how I am feeling. Idk maybe it’s something that will pass over. Something is miss in my life and I don’t what it is but it is causing me to feel like I’m empty inside and just sad.,-0.8041212121212133,0.998621587878791,1.3583333333333345,101.65083333333334,87.66666666666666,4.393939393939394,17.65151515151515,5.46131890053228,-0.7834848484848487,562,14,146,3,18,187,87,165,0.147,0.732,0.121,-0.6681,2,1,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,0,4,0,18,3,0,3,1,27,31,11,0,0,5,2,7,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,15,9,0,0,9,0,0,2,4,4,1,1,0,7,22,8,16,30,2,19,0,3,0,1,4,9,0,1,7,97,37,2,0.13485256726524233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396665902804081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385307334306704,0.0,0.11616354603666715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906884885384048,0.0,0.1136191040645014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.477298569129129,0.19267740199821226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310793538536675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526812017329884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411144426966887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905007126473016,0.13176430539903464,0.0,0.2381545750175423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170970695262577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547752923491854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654999921499413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150508470138712,0.0,0.09137958959080014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994756344453269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639000768744796,0.13865089881203133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114482837433923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769343441418504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786708765732536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863361642798193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126749089716716,0.0,0.32111907307444115,0.0,0.0,0.1212486531137188,0.0,0.12168346698181448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744011279387864,0.0,0.0868406320037259
mentalhealth,Waterskill,2019/01/14,"How do I go to a certain Psychiatrist via Medicaid? Ihave a certain Pyschiatrist that used to be very nice to me, but I had to stop seeing him when I lost my BCBS insurance. I just recently found out that he now accepts Medicaid, so how would I go about getting an appointment for him?",6.827440476190474,6.238564482142862,7.704285714285718,73.07404761904766,64.89285714285714,12.466666666666667,38.30952380952381,11.855464076750405,4.643209523809524,225,11,44,7,3,76,42,56,0.101,0.752,0.14800000000000002,0.1795,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,3,2,12,11,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,9,4,7,6,0,7,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,4,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829193919426719,0.0,0.0,0.18246146436567748,0.0,0.39695788302898205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.381232491951806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448285474056823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278295980817297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919770434474739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016278870771568,0.0,0.28815638321187265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480873275350284,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tryphenatheweiner,2019/01/14,"Raising children when you have mental health issues I'm 26, and I want to have kids. Not now, but in the next few years I'd like to start trying to start my family.

Being a mum is one thing I've always wanted to do. But I'm scared.

I'm scared my mental health is never going to be good. I'm worried my kids are never going to see me happy and see me as a grumpy old mum they cant talk to. I'm worried I'm going to come off as distant. 

I don't want to screw my kids up because I cant get my shit together.

How do I get over this fear? I have tried to talk about it in therapy but I just feel silly.",0.6118712674187137,1.5661403795620432,3.3066887856668887,93.53816191108164,79.51094890510949,5.857730590577308,18.293961512939614,6.11248444174946,-0.3325270072992699,460,8,114,3,11,163,77,137,0.127,0.726,0.147,-0.0503,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,0,5,9,2,3,3,0,13,4,1,1,2,15,33,9,0,3,5,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,0,3,15,4,18,31,1,18,0,0,2,1,10,5,2,0,10,66,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194945959469111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754300920221911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370685538951315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353822416668162,0.1616005965884339,0.07261327066562942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500600574384862,0.0,0.24484973964944,0.1204528226239521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287496733193925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053003344288727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989099156359473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701603404408508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894491674059973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22152097635748985,0.0,0.15273031665336825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069399693178948,0.0,0.09731350376902204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875562949913771,0.0,0.22887633293706625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474130727655937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203295065462648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23085572863909096,0.0,0.0,0.16422996194067818,0.0,0.09540776070354727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950028272626753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541137853752672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29168480624635795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247980000393476
mentalhealth,sunflower1004,2019/01/14,"I’m impatient I’m impatient, can’t wait for this year to end. I’ve been counting weeks and segmenting months to make me feel like it’s not going to be that Long. But this sucks because I usually only feel this way from September onwards so I don’t know what’s going on with me smh. I don’t have a bad life honestly but I’m just kind of done.",0.9459428571428604,2.683578146666669,3.2205714285714286,91.056,80.86666666666667,7.485714285714287,22.714285714285715,8.418075326091056,1.274028571428571,271,9,63,6,7,93,54,75,0.133,0.8109999999999999,0.055,-0.5086,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,0,11,18,4,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,2,5,3,8,15,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,7,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298591850886829,0.16781680894255285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28172157996223585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438289783366332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783940712350773,0.19667025470349572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129121129742345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286676579729586,0.1512945106151571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19444845783155146,0.13449485635008607,0.0,0.0,0.2436267327571071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837610378876649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21973722992032274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093736690485223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30319770382115996,0.0,0.0,0.21851574786574013,0.22082442781837647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772804598532399
mentalhealth,HGoochMann,2019/01/14,"How can someone move on from their dark past? [I'm sorry about the long message] I have, for many years, lived a rather happy and carefree life. I met new people everyday, I was active in a lot of activities, I even pursued a dream with a ""All in"" mentality. But 2 years ago, I made a mistake that ended up costing me everything. The mistake was my fault and at first I didn't feel too much from it. But as time went on, more and more of my life began to crumble. It started with friends, who had trusted me, I had betrayed their trust and when it came down to it, I hurt them without fully knowing. I pleaded and begged, but I had done an unspeakable thing. Then it was another friend, and soon another, and then within a month, I was alone. I didn't talk to anyone for a year. I had some friends stay but they acted differently towards me. Never wanting to be fully involved. I have some friends now, but the ones I have I did not make. My father, not knowing what I did, made friends for me. And although they are the only thing I have, I don't feel a connection. They are older than me, tall about things i don't understand and often carry conversations with me on the outside. This mistake hangs over me now still, as i sit in the corner with a fake smile as everyone around me enjoys life. I want to rebuild, but I can't shake these memories out if my head. I want to move on, but I don't know how. Can anyone help? ",3.095758631612292,4.405733933797912,4.258006018371868,87.7701702565727,73.77351916376307,7.030028508077288,26.634304719670574,7.520522993642371,1.301809756097561,1097,39,232,13,22,359,154,287,0.073,0.764,0.163,0.9776,1,1,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,6,1,14,16,0,1,16,0,26,4,1,5,2,51,44,26,0,8,12,1,2,0,5,0,3,0,0,0,13,16,0,0,6,1,1,7,10,7,0,2,19,2,43,9,39,24,7,49,0,1,0,0,19,17,0,5,23,180,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910620773597027,0.0,0.0,0.11579371566730873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23446942713695124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634987386098834,0.0,0.0,0.09952796592786696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787232355269665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680986047006235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441281751682293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902386749173467,0.0,0.0,0.07384452458021278,0.0,0.0,0.10683212010854404,0.1004809157128676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130614490883303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509918514188057,0.0,0.0,0.4318918331959646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901588495766173,0.0,0.0,0.11474166316359385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493888723061648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968693360523375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18433125964254532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23690832550304966,0.0,0.0,0.09872369293574146,0.0989417314814688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505052314268284,0.0,0.21158053709459607,0.07462906497032172,0.11335022952213875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126706661342518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892397223950544,0.2376568172116731,0.08218773256218002,0.0,0.0862290128266269,0.10797959178457513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757602959564537,0.08503087123424262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672817709514992,0.07750980539522513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472993105455303,0.0,0.0,0.12515379240091298,0.07913441469795113,0.119166634009332,0.08928565449156943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986264828390557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22282992310911512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519296135370184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639038918839904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978321079913005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364207656956084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777366084015673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21599151444350945
mentalhealth,imbooku,2019/01/14,"Any experience with gravity/weighted blankets? I’m currently going through a lot mentally and most of my nights I spend crying myself to sleep (which is a whole story in itself). Lately I’ve been intrigued by the idea that this blanket can reduce my stress and help me fall asleep faster but the prices are ridiculous for a broke out of college 25 year old. I know the “official” weighted blanket goes for ~$250 and there’s some on amazon that are in the ~$100 range. 

Has anyone had experience (good or bad) with these blankets? Is the OG blanket better? Is the amazon one not as good? ",3.1066060606060617,5.880679690909092,3.5395454545454537,86.01265151515152,79.36363636363636,5.848484848484849,24.62121212121212,7.1686216300943375,1.2502121212121209,466,17,83,6,12,145,82,110,0.128,0.7879999999999999,0.084,-0.7326,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,1,7,1,1,9,0,9,3,2,0,0,14,12,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,6,1,0,2,0,2,2,1,4,0,1,2,2,6,3,14,10,4,12,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,4,6,56,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285477375489217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217505073876268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783320452876815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718278617487514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076419606096036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698176850158084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743082010739928,0.3171009012450515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670366758107895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21339328123665532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388663576262576,0.0,0.21323549256456914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070761566843547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19049904736483145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739303023661626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19835650671496746,0.0,0.128092472539263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916777404153948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165346672863057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4603782936772757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21104664878095272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172993247224435
mentalhealth,Savingstobig,2019/01/14,"Should I talk to my therapist I have recently started cutting because I hate myself and I want to die. I hate myself even more because even though the few friends of mine that know all have been super supportive and amazing and I know that they would be incredibly sad if I were to go through with it, I still want to do it. I feel incredibly guilty. My entire left forearm is covered in cuts and scars and I hate looking at it because it reminds me of how shitty I am, but I don’t want to stop. I need to cut. I need a distraction. My friends have asked me to talk to my therapist, but I’m afraid that because I already have cut myself, and still am, and I that I plan on killing myself soon, he will report me to authorities or tell my parents. I also really don’t want to get switched onto an SSRI medication. ",4.253454545454545,4.926499072727271,5.492727272727271,82.39909090909094,70.39393939393939,8.424242424242426,31.363636363636363,8.575989854853784,2.331909090909092,637,27,131,10,11,213,91,165,0.209,0.688,0.102,-0.962,1,0,0,0,0,3,14.0,0,0,1,2,8,16,8,2,3,0,16,2,1,1,1,26,35,14,2,9,4,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,8,8,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,11,0,0,2,2,32,5,18,29,3,12,0,1,1,0,9,5,0,2,6,99,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951241905843962,0.1083482856845356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266613316657075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303645824195211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061331168502236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789747484519555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850590658288175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20935264366347944,0.0,0.07078596090265847,0.0,0.07699994430543787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4012937940218616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989543470253114,0.0,0.14891937266800306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720618057169116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377430644927873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648811844590844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092263912621056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044141984560716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679594546009911,0.0,0.13377630262716825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589784784296408,0.0,0.21639894960172554,0.11327255129623146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537481632577429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177973920648432,0.11842093299561494,0.0,0.0,0.31461990110705296,0.0,0.0,0.1331145287779382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196531448087953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624552739610118,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,faezeldaag,2019/01/14,"Question about ADD/ADHD episode  I'm pretty sure I have ADD or ADHD, although I haven't been diagnosed yet, so take this all with a grain of salt. I struggle with it all the time, feeling restless and having a hard time focusing on everything, even things I enjoy. I used to read all the time and now I can barely make it half way through a book. 

  Lately I've started taking notice of these episodes I have where I'll be unable to focus on anything at all and it leaves me feeling really depressive. I can't focus, there's nothing I want to do or talk about. I feel like a ball of anxiety and I can't explain the feeling while it's happening. It comes on within a matter of minutes, but I never know how long it last -- could be minutes, hours or days. 

  Does anybody else experience this too? ",3.590660377358489,4.930894811320759,4.7913364779874215,84.31077830188681,72.58490566037736,7.3125786163522015,28.34433962264151,7.793537801064563,1.7626641509433965,621,24,122,8,12,205,101,159,0.062,0.85,0.08800000000000001,0.3803,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,2,8,0,12,1,0,3,6,31,27,12,0,2,4,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,7,3,0,1,4,3,0,1,1,6,13,3,17,23,4,21,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,4,14,84,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36493022685319065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614632528622194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493970114677752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078448746207455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122055114220034,0.0,0.0,0.09791508401206396,0.0,0.13076734340405755,0.1540999962023695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286378512211627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683097824490178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002795123223042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364512437809764,0.1485147704120336,0.0,0.0,0.3070707555227142,0.1084643854531874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425905797997134,0.0,0.13600609968402327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951783497994448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343949185937607,0.1237582950237322,0.17126612114599207,0.16076160561634714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417441932243306,0.0,0.0,0.13436105977645765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134490380751604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170974206069287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568095469562514,0.17285468532693307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446142608270558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007964860692695,0.0,0.15186689125399527,0.0,0.09726349842730514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074630862468565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872129633896906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309402446082786,0.0,0.22830822086340025,0.12203183102780067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086631855792416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655925435999554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112874838654487,0.0,0.0,0.08955079348057228,0.1205122571272079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnusChrist,2019/01/15,"histrionic personality disorder Im a guy 21 years old. Im not seeing a doctor or anyone but im not sure if i have this disorder. I do seek attention a lot like when im listening to the music i leave my phone unlocked so people can see what i am listening to and get admired. I also use my problems to get sympathy and make up situation to make someone laugh, i always agree with people even if they are not right i  speak loudly when im in a group to get noticed always trying hard to be the cool kid always trying to prove how hard it was to do/get something so they think im a badass ALSO I don't admire myself i always think im not good for anything always trying to look for something to blame i always feel like im being judged by everyone like every single person in my life and it give me anxiety sometimes, makes me very uncomfortable.",2.879485714285714,4.377242291428574,5.198142857142859,80.05835714285716,74.65714285714286,7.742857142857144,24.5,8.418075326091056,1.6691142857142849,671,21,130,12,14,236,100,175,0.174,0.6759999999999999,0.15,0.0843,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,8,10,0,0,7,1,9,2,0,5,2,25,25,14,0,3,8,0,3,3,0,0,2,4,0,4,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,11,18,9,17,22,2,8,0,0,3,0,12,4,0,4,7,76,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273109539460637,0.3973976248953703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089319451265755,0.0,0.0,0.055657633702204716,0.0,0.06550338554005491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824552317684608,0.08147318673360217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052574541936032164,0.0,0.06706578594246608,0.07606047720790525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04024776332594719,0.056865707157076124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634925327281788,0.07635883637630396,0.0,0.066764059137827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881575413090205,0.0,0.0,0.14261055375721934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6878466377850077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428409333519085,0.0,0.0,0.056223291503153416,0.11666449194669813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684330719723075,0.0,0.0,0.06767242044572422,0.0,0.0,0.1593993161266992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906242530712745,0.08352600382208802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036816981003073,0.13900595797769227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616571479449867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797730909950908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686056411616786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947287170599076,0.0,0.0,0.06744417085948126,0.12255875512991765,0.07872567567270641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502133402515675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200794742038406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621279602395118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687481791785144,0.0,0.0656777026038544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512592955649787
mentalhealth,BigusNiggus,2019/01/15,"I need to get this off my chest So I’m 16 years old, I live with my parents and I go to a nice school. However around 2 to 3 months ago I’ve noticed that I feel “detached” like I’m watching myself through a tv screen and I so desperately want to control it. My ADHD and Anxiety are on the fritz worse and worse each passing day. Now I can’t focus on one thing and my thoughts race 4000000 miles an hour. Some times I can hear my thoughts and a lot of these thoughts are unwanted. I’m scared I’m loosing my shit. ",0.6544545454545451,2.5682911727272746,2.1481818181818184,97.47227272727274,82.72727272727272,5.454545454545455,24.54545454545455,6.574015621080383,0.5333636363636365,399,16,96,4,11,129,75,110,0.194,0.743,0.063,-0.923,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,1,1,5,0,4,2,2,1,0,19,17,8,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,1,4,1,0,2,1,2,0,1,3,4,14,2,11,14,3,15,0,0,2,0,2,5,1,2,9,52,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22000009527482225,0.0,0.16226983712427515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003883892615362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629603956136811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053150687214463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118057240679941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255960523418906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564022905595712,0.0,0.10403605766961396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20631962601859866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802752171258534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943287301029564,0.0,0.1616435331242662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562933201955484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611511780008515,0.0,0.0,0.1357351583810773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084127016199355,0.19208853614922936,0.0,0.12404481178507144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20326420196970024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327295343553693,0.18526442928248865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879063661017626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161557503259955,0.0,0.0,0.4359827192012712,0.1067425690295564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797232812171248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731034021775812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788332493543327
mentalhealth,bfrankish,2019/01/15,"Every positive action we make involves being vulnerable. The best inventions started with someone putting themselves “out there” Please consider giving this a quick watch as it’s not preach and kind of humorous too. But as those of us currently suffering with mental disorders, the first step from my experience is allowing yourself to not be ashamed. Wishing everyone the very best in continuing or starting their path to recovery!!! https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability/up-next",13.11416666666667,16.28032541666667,10.020444444444447,48.869,51.77777777777778,13.537777777777775,46.34444444444443,12.688352899677879,7.349207777777778,418,23,46,14,5,122,64,72,0.075,0.6729999999999999,0.252,0.9499,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,1,3,3,6,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,2,0,12,8,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,0,1,4,4,11,6,2,11,1,1,1,0,5,2,0,1,6,36,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474163344984083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443106370679177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17960444028107925,0.20369252733661894,0.0,0.20852060838559144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132180985944388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044915432683632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219831599070093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422922510676433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21482464934954226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267081091588212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23399602262522556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21429415683152347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061776787094172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30176484212336824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564165796917266,0.0,0.0,0.17588710620989256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451343264297033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throw51116373,2019/01/15,"I have Intrusive Thoughts in my relationship This is sort of a help post, since I’m not comfortable talking to family and not my gf bc this sort of involves her so hopefully you guys can help me understand and help deal/give advice with this. 

For some background I’m in my third year of college and I’ve been dating my GF for a year and six months and I love her dearly. She is my favorite person, and the only one I could talk to and goof around with. I know that I love her and I know this bc of how she makes me feel and how she makes me laugh when I’m with her and forget these thoughts BC I’m just laughing with her instead. I hug her and I forget my problems, we kiss and I smile. She leaves and I miss her. I love my girlfriend dearly and I know she loves me but for the past week or so I’ve been having these random overbearing thoughts in my head saying you don’t love her breakup with her and things of that nature. I know I love my girlfriend and the furthest thing in this world I wanna do is breakup with her so why am I having these thoughts. The last thing I wanna do is give in and breakup

Lately I’ve had these thoughts for reasons unknown to me but they’ve really only been prevalent lately. I couldn’t sleep last night BC of these thoughts in my head so I called my girlfriend hoping she’d make me feel better and instantly that’s what happened. I called her and she made me laugh for the thirty minutes we were on the phone. The semester recently just started and I’m taking a couple of difficult classes like Physics 2 and Organic Chemistry 2 so maybe it’s stress but school hasn’t made me stress to this extent before. Recently my best friend broke up with her boyfriend and I had a crush on her in my second year of high school so maybe it has to do with that, but idk

I love my girlfriend and I want help. I don’t want these thoughts in my head BC they make me feel guilty BC I know they’re not true so why do I think them. I know I wanna be with my girlfriend and I know I jut want her to hug me and say it’s ok but if she hugs me and says it’s ok I don’t want to think to myself how much I suck for having these thoughts

Is it normal to have these thoughts, have those of you in relationships had these thoughts, how do I cope with these thoughts, and how do I get rid of them? Please help me

Thanks in advance ",1.0368830703012932,3.157761270325203,2.010970827355333,97.82738163558108,82.63821138211381,5.078335724533716,20.21616451458632,6.2272716619740125,-0.11930851267336218,1843,52,424,15,51,577,179,492,0.07,0.722,0.208,0.9969,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,2,3,3,3,17,34,1,2,11,2,35,15,4,12,1,108,91,47,0,14,12,0,3,1,8,0,0,3,0,2,30,40,0,0,25,0,0,1,8,7,0,4,20,6,93,27,52,67,4,34,0,2,0,11,64,16,1,8,17,280,123,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055667307574135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551667174306722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052732172407861,0.0,0.06503402069036987,0.054807706273238624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265572374365238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04947825271123788,0.0685689731267397,0.0,0.0,0.06388867204891623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842009629421529,0.0,0.09400215742395493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787811043944122,0.0,0.03237693104183774,0.059447571447428724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06136035326402345,0.05480014351455275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907982600747302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20768697410216566,0.06547503855526253,0.0,0.12310100800683288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384008452189572,0.10102815304169067,0.13981042559350074,0.06561761412567027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030275564905157645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915143915328156,0.11727561791212415,0.16546266171326546,0.0,0.12451501845270513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049464112956227727,0.0,0.04555531077377272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05815494117892225,0.06071774962744547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041992688191003914,0.09426243172020722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915767626524286,0.0,0.05411008738905773,0.0,0.06802479482083958,0.0,0.0,0.05935043009832234,0.0,0.0,0.05929722068807675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03969976962998601,0.06371580335705779,0.12237641673461201,0.13306584978353053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784384166031644,0.0,0.1254345312760613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051262483660802764,0.0,0.062015067658856775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043862906812015705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14197356933850194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04659396340592888,0.0996187810980283,0.0,0.057053938641013276,0.0,0.0,0.1235109678838226,0.07941614920104627,0.0,0.5411725739186235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451328179112906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462067858485799,0.0,0.04970884744957963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183713802720116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972055023573823
mentalhealth,Thin_Wishes3,2019/01/15,"Finding a good therapist/psychiatrist/support group etc. Southern CT Quick background, I have a history of anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and an attempt, an eating disorder, slight substance abuse problems, trauma and suggested bipolar. (26F) 
These are all very long term issues.

I’ve been in and out of therapy, I’ve had a dietician as well but never psychiatrist or support group. 

I’ve been thru several therapists in my area, I’ve self paid and used insurance. I normally find self pay are better.. I also have great insurance thru work. My issue lately is, I can’t seem to find a therapist who tackles all of these issues, who takes my insurance, and who is taking new clients. 

I normally rely on psychtoday, are there any other sources anyone can suggest? 

Does anyone know what type of support groups I should try and look into, and how to find GOOD ones? I think at this point it’s most important I’m medicated, but I have very few psychiatrists in this area who take insurance. As I’ve gotten older my expenses have gone up and unfortunately I don’t know if I could afford to self pay anymore. Also it’s hard to get in quickly without a recommendation. My dietician was trying to make me see someone she worked with but that ended when she cut me off after my suicide attempt-lol. 

I’ve also considered a short term IP program, however in my area, one is catered towards the very wealthy and I’ve read reviews that’s I’ll somehow end up with a huge hospital bill even with insurance, the other one you have to be directly brought from  a certain hospital. I also don’t know if I’m bad enough to warrant that help right now. 

I’m just feeling very lost. I live in southern CT (Fairfield County) if anyone is geographically close and has suggestions. I’m really worried if I keep acting like things are ok, and not getting help that I won’t be around much longer. I just don’t know what to do and I could really use some guidance.

If anyone reads this thank you so much. Also feel free to message me if that’s allowed or whatever. Idk! Thank you. ",4.434873721227621,6.440021268542202,5.562524776214834,76.9449892103581,71.6086956521739,8.877269820971867,31.400335677749357,9.435801123606538,3.1605581202046036,1640,75,290,39,32,543,214,391,0.122,0.7490000000000001,0.129,0.8355,3,0,0,0,1,1,50.0,0,3,0,5,18,19,1,0,12,1,30,3,0,5,4,66,63,33,2,12,15,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,21,19,1,1,13,2,6,3,8,6,1,3,10,5,31,14,38,47,11,40,0,2,2,0,21,23,0,12,15,186,52,9,0.0,0.0884916787148377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29863514824158915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050789604398839734,0.0,0.057135219261323165,0.0,0.07406926477428509,0.2088910677518069,0.0,0.0,0.06648711175911326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236038200179539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605443031532332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926271023074132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432765581863724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559757585307526,0.0,0.0653589467952109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642327098973928,0.0,0.0,0.13230072338691645,0.07717145873378269,0.08329555618231255,0.04932994573727662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552780900426681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730496321856508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804157045599078,0.0,0.0,0.12528753625572314,0.0,0.08234249192413508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690472821395288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012201342518416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338609336523243,0.0,0.06638508469043265,0.0,0.0,0.1641837105286145,0.0,0.08424999550866885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03648821175465354,0.0,0.06594983775965224,0.06609549283280099,0.06271812545607049,0.0,0.0815294957875127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049854037876711235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523912211031335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980682482851356,0.0,0.057603086320854174,0.07213300422403536,0.0,0.0,0.14635446853676012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182918340190535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060319370759646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146520805497422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494140793339737,0.0,0.09569258941378954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378214332946293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951573245911535,0.0679920834892304,0.2337439516848903,0.08437485727561929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328190729349255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339053610544982,0.2542611831996975,0.0,0.0,0.16846560008739747,0.0,0.0,0.13752319410665426,0.08541089724047367,0.2601514926053025,0.04961861008247597,0.04785630388507275,0.0,0.05929299911064492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101414907755689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901087954466475,0.0,0.2464978209064845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715242821463417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199543732423425,0.0,0.10874580111004922,0.07584809957489377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PeacefulCandle,2019/01/15,"Is it bad for me to spend so much time trying to resolve problems? I've been spending all day, every day, for as long as I can remember, mostly just reading/watching stuff about my worries, to try to get these worries resolved. My main worries have been how to draw in and maintain healthy friendships and romantic relationship, how to get and maintain a paid job, how to contribute service to society in a way people will actually find beneficial, and how to come to terms with the sad existential realities that me, everyone else, and all other living things suffer and will die. I spend so much time researching these things that my place is trashed, I go hungry a lot, my sleep is tanked, I've barely done any hobbies, etc.

​

I keep thinking I have to wait until I've fully resolved the above worries to take care of myself and have fun, but I'm starting to wonder if that's the mental illness talking. My question is, is it constructive to spend this large an amount of time and energy on trying to resolve my problems?

​

 I've had a handful of good sessions with a therapist and a peer counselor lately, but I'm still a wreck. 

​

TL;DR: is it bad for me to spend almost all of my time/energy trying to resolve things that make me anxious?",9.339590909090909,7.6364840500000035,8.89825757575758,70.12704545454547,60.58333333333334,11.227272727272727,40.98484848484848,9.800150414767053,4.083916666666666,1012,46,175,15,11,325,130,240,0.14400000000000002,0.742,0.114,-0.8654,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,5,9,14,0,0,11,0,16,3,2,5,3,41,31,21,1,3,4,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,15,12,0,2,10,0,6,2,0,6,0,0,5,1,17,8,33,24,11,18,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,6,11,121,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.09095557436873147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333230796318703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029658645844516,0.3397663393533648,0.06338325073168202,0.0,0.0,0.10529620770727316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556461710984921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502969071503413,0.0,0.0,0.08028868375366571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022027027078293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673307384749948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538206015135346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786162181830558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394928617437768,0.0,0.0,0.07853004342455347,0.08906229151110168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518856124134343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739253704089282,0.0,0.05297109647368222,0.07817673929581359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249253595729363,0.08284574210768536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514038557053684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230257258174828,0.08248434387394482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924037631954947,0.0,0.0,0.062215703786788076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392968801707986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703421384228298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461727873662418,0.0,0.09738039303147543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783710369220254,0.0,0.0,0.10441200929044447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006832246680396,0.105584186201003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327327482419501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597166005156972,0.0,0.0744344021255803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066985278374644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700792842445446,0.07491542215289912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821930641906384,0.18576569995219253,0.05972261733758314,0.0,0.0,0.2173965853211976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531229216014955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398255472563336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107789053161048,0.0,0.3786207173519077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397663393533648,0.0
mentalhealth,skimoffthecream,2019/01/15,"Do I have a sensory processing problem or something else? I know every person does stim-like things, but I'm starting to think the things I do are over the top/not typical. Every time I feel an intense emotion (not necessarily bad, sometimes it's excitement) I shake my hands in an aggressive way, think shaking hands after washing them if no paper towels. I also blink in aggressive and unnatural patterns, rub my eyes over and over again, and rock back and forth in similar situations. I start doing these things subconsciously, and can stop if I need to, but I'll feel unreasonably anxious if I do. Sometimes when the urge to do these things is very strong and I make myself stop, I'll have a full blown panic attack where I have to shut myself in a quiet dark place for about and hour to get control of myself. I've googled what this could be, and the two most common things I could find were autism and sensory processing issues, though I don't seem to perfectly fit either's symptoms. Is this normal? Is it just a tick I've developed when I feel strong emotions? Should I seek help? 

TLDR; I stim in large, socially unacceptable ways and have trouble stopping myself from doing so. Do I have a problem?",7.143238159220692,7.194401986899563,7.253799126637556,74.4313671481357,64.06550218340611,10.190258649647296,33.335908632851876,9.851270322608157,3.1598556264696,961,36,173,18,13,310,135,229,0.214,0.713,0.073,-0.9855,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,4,10,14,3,3,11,0,23,5,3,2,1,42,36,21,0,10,9,0,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,12,10,0,4,9,1,0,2,3,10,0,1,1,8,24,4,19,31,3,30,0,0,1,0,4,13,0,6,13,120,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705807815476204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371114810157748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380738096096499,0.0,0.09332462771120176,0.1013373486967226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612471782789962,0.1938052087753545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062100995732537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138752870831674,0.27304570110861953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20451582811239072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841021736479539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092830455846348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340985722241799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135052304838121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952319532821895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667683241252106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670076974384535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101419295517545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999295691743542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891503335407867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239939206067226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597400078466357,0.12680390112018788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322658866375208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104890196626192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642290322402456,0.0,0.12371956054199085,0.0,0.09343514336550672,0.2400724382432997,0.0,0.17181002453358346,0.0,0.0,0.30440766276197984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614799506464938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4031580813303723,0.1555356397271047,0.11924360644967248,0.0,0.07077075335900901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855906227468635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014144729526962,0.0,0.1926728012078545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hunani,2019/01/15,Do support groups normally have a cost? Wasn't sure if I should post here or in r/nostupidquestions... ,3.399473684210527,6.151478684210532,3.020263157894739,90.32934210526315,77.94736842105263,8.010526315789475,25.28947368421053,8.841846274778883,2.044452631578946,81,3,16,2,2,24,19,19,0.111,0.736,0.153,0.1872,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,5,5,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4866653990358086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757060484615018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5636549008642788,0.4681385452728077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Curtis_with_a_c,2019/01/15,"How do you make yourself go forward? The past year has been so terrible, I've been so stressed and I've had so many mental breakdowns. At this point I just want to sleep in, miss work, not do any schoolwork, and just lay in bed all day. I know that to move forward I can't do that.... But I'm just out of motivation right now. I literally haven't done any schoolwork in 5 months because I've been super in-motivated. 


How do I find motivation? I'm at the point where I'm questioning if dropping out of school and laying around all day is worth it",2.017964601769912,3.7994046460177024,3.4364690265486746,90.5513407079646,77.76106194690266,6.6438938053097365,24.574336283185843,7.554174236665415,0.9854219469026546,427,15,96,6,10,140,70,113,0.091,0.799,0.11,0.2852,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,4,11,4,0,1,2,0,13,1,1,5,2,23,21,10,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,5,0,1,4,3,3,0,0,5,0,6,1,12,16,2,23,0,1,0,0,2,14,0,2,8,55,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864639753376177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18750059750088502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839483441938718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27167095518435697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155421488439916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19250711840099194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119702844984082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575380178778776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059359238798405,0.21354034078890732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122601122613709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811858972394467,0.22386067479588007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20106506537091606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982167567635553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23594781672643364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987230408639554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21316339504032703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077676507952728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24126983007241515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423187830481106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15333725698388326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563537188006847
mentalhealth,Lonewolf4848,2019/01/15,"Today is the day for the first time I've felt truly alone For some context, I used to suffer depression for a big part of my teenage years but before moving to university I thought he had left it behind me; but, as I start my second semestre, I find myself laying in my bed, writing this to vent, while crying my heart out. I feel myself sinking into the hole I tough I crawled my way out of, but unlike before, I find no one besides me. In 7 months of university I haven't made a single close friend, my family is km away, I have no one to talk to  and I find myself questioning everything from what career I chose to if I even should get out of bed, scared to fall back to the hole that left me with scars marking my arms.  I find myself desperately trying to find something to hold on to with no avail. Anybody been through something similar. And how did you get out of it?",6.578079096045201,5.3836746045197765,6.946666666666669,80.28689265536723,65.66666666666666,9.674576271186444,30.966101694915253,8.515128840125781,2.129989830508475,683,20,142,8,9,223,107,177,0.162,0.8029999999999999,0.035,-0.9638,0,1,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,3,5,0,1,6,0,8,2,2,3,0,30,16,9,0,2,4,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,5,10,0,1,9,0,0,2,4,4,0,4,6,2,29,1,34,9,3,26,0,2,0,0,6,14,0,3,9,102,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826910783684904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254307010363129,0.10265576104395722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22720287098171926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664705480635012,0.08609855386305988,0.0,0.11498615635376785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881776396370095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199841156334036,0.0,0.12585498562823785,0.0,0.06750325613999747,0.0,0.12818405917431347,0.0,0.6100977740304506,0.1135577989686318,0.0,0.0,0.10314428225034812,0.0,0.13949987930302055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820199783075625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29010335044612395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632400614798878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656102300598223,0.14189283027075564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093051891436832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457101341457695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955419723471394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13366004628035266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20555465337872567,0.0,0.0,0.09449428974983723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730485790586053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598667057979648,0.0778468205435042,0.0,0.12654547390445856,0.0,0.0,0.09063994553661353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153039464743097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596866832231316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597171798234736
mentalhealth,crazydevillady,2019/01/15,"After diagnosis, a letter to myself, my Dr, and the world After the diagnosis was confirmed I was angry. Angry at my past health professionals, angry at my previous teachers, but most of all I was  angry at myself for not detecting it sooner.  I should have conveyed my  struggles better, I was educated, I should have known. Why did I not  seek help until I was 31? I fit every damn textbook qualification for ADHD inattentive type. So why? Why did I have to struggle for so long?

I’ve  been compensating for my inability to pay-attention all my life.  Checking tasks 3-5 times in order to account for the times I would tune  out. Recording lectures or meetings, having to revisit them in order to  retain the same information as my peers. Constantly playing catch-up. I  had to face that paralyzing fear - knowing that you have to complete a  task but don’t want to. Actually, you can’t bring yourself to complete  it. So you try to ignore it, and it builds - snowballing into anxiety,  guilt and self-loathing. I learned to second guess myself even more,  because my memories weren’t all there. Memories felt like a dream-state,  foggy and unclear. You can’t trust a foggy memory, so how in the world  could I trust myself or have confidence in my skills?

For  every time I heard - “How could you forget? we just talked about it”,  “If you would just apply yourself”, “I know you’re not stupid” “Are you  paying attention? or “I’m just wasting my breath, you don’t even care”.  “Why do you keep losing your phone?”, “I swear you need to go to a  neurologist”…”Whats wrong with you?”

In  the first days following my diagnosis I cried. I grieved for lost time,  opportunities and difficulties. Despite this - I’m thankful, I have  begun to let go of the guilt and forgive myself for the times I wasn’t  able to complete a task or pay attention - no matter how hard I tried.

Looking  back, I did well with the hand I was given. Contrary to my previous  belief - it was my abilities and dedication that allowed me to succeed  and obtain my engineering degree. I did that, on my own, with no help.  Yes I struggled, yes - at times I took longer and sometimes I failed,  but I was determined, and when I was able to focus…I could match and  sometimes surpass my peers. For the first time in a long time, I feel  proud of myself. I was not slow, lazy or stupid. Although it would not  always translate, I had the ability to play on the same field as my  peers - even with a handicap.

I now  understand my Dr.’s first warning when she started me on medication.  “Its not a cure all, you will need to focus on the correct thing. I get  it now, medication isn’t a magical cure - its a tool. A helping hand in  focusing; however new habits/coping skills will need to be developed in  order to get you 100% there. Today I feel hope, and as silly as this  might sound - it’s under my control now. Its manageable with a little  bit of extra work…and that I can do.

If  any of this resonates, and you have not been diagnosed - please seek the  help of a trained professional. Unfortunately, many times ADHD  (inattentive type) goes undiagnosed, especially for woman - because we  do not fit the common stereo type, or we find ways to hid or cope with  it…and so it goes undetected.

To my Dr,  thank you for listening. Although I know there is work to come, I  somehow feel lighter. As if I had been trapped, and the door was finally  unlocked, revealing a glimpse of my potential. I feel as if I have been  given the key to that door, and now its up to me to see how far I will  go, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Finally - thank you Redditors for reading this far and allowing me to vent.",4.3884803812901785,5.882943998559082,5.512694524495674,79.31026767900687,70.8299711815562,8.68140101972955,29.340390157393042,9.162432508145574,2.5178313899357128,2821,111,537,58,52,935,301,694,0.149,0.708,0.142,0.35100000000000003,3,1,0,1,0,0,111.0,3,17,1,15,28,32,3,6,32,2,59,11,4,7,5,109,98,51,1,17,25,0,8,1,0,9,7,3,2,1,26,29,0,4,18,4,4,7,17,15,1,4,30,13,96,17,86,54,11,74,1,4,2,0,35,27,1,17,37,383,122,15,0.14614786679157585,0.0,0.07130961795267036,0.0,0.17564133504870205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080336641604945,0.0,0.0,0.04969278052108458,0.0,0.05590135903562653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056189344196641136,0.0,0.08909038310068805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646279557983646,0.07977780928538149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450374521937089,0.0,0.0,0.06294672321221607,0.22984988662716296,0.07896696201041087,0.08195862990605238,0.17503076920937755,0.0,0.08026828454770632,0.047126641784604385,0.0,0.0,0.07416850420251082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479393149371522,0.0,0.1231358810777113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222849083304283,0.147793505403762,0.0,0.07016243558297687,0.16009784441887925,0.06678825127782638,0.1864699512498631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635622836784495,0.0,0.12458880101484665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804991760635568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545989113935148,0.0,0.0,0.07767417410854488,0.0,0.0,0.1959196688911568,0.0,0.0,0.07257890400062543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649514695466036,0.0,0.0,0.12047856823760927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472304780765332,0.05161428021039624,0.035700232750233415,0.0732392784736915,0.0,0.12933626310538188,0.061363699912054384,0.08175103988162079,0.07976883041554292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408549905595976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722860025711468,0.0,0.07751989555499147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16255018708958624,0.0,0.07057526022615254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975733791419184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021323517821903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309370823995523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058230464002392825,0.0,0.07623204936450606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144543977248146,0.0,0.05172210616700978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291782237116715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05873405967213356,0.0,0.201829980234792,0.0,0.0,0.048547074342758234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38348998387280825,0.0,0.0692655445484445,0.0,0.08118782874142369,0.09922480815354844,0.0,0.0,0.07607254175568982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04310089919716608,0.0580026870179504,0.0,0.0,0.06570224194941625,0.0,0.2637514358657528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639738763695987,0.0,0.0,0.15572887707238234,0.07989487483004935,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chervona,2019/01/15,"Thought Take this idea with a grain of salt.

Should all teachers be required to take at least one course of child psychology?",5.003043478260867,7.446604304347828,3.2602173913043515,92.17119565217396,71.17391304347827,6.339130434782609,28.89130434782609,7.1686216300943375,1.301278260869565,101,4,20,1,2,28,21,23,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5249138223732022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150872838552583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6992248415651835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691478072160447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaybpdnpd,2019/01/15,"We received a 200 bucks check by a far uncle we don’t really know, what the fck? **Hi guys,**

A far and old uncle that me and my younger brother met once over 10 years ago gave Holiday cards to my NPD/BPD mother, who I cut contact with for 7 years, for her to deliver them to us.

In those cards, there were 2 checks for a 100 bucks each from that said uncle

**What the F* is wrong with this family?**",-1.3217307692307685,0.6896782738095268,0.8371428571428581,100.56939560439562,99.59523809523807,4.4893772893772885,13.604395604395606,6.297961479604792,-0.7885593406593401,301,6,73,4,13,99,64,84,0.069,0.897,0.034,-0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,7,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,7,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,2,0,0,4,1,9,0,12,3,1,9,0,0,0,0,15,4,0,0,4,41,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25178524157333576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577397432401077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26776861102783683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812452838649613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610152582389825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980532878748226,0.3024944347028349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196396182590788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701880712823073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34166639490607503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105542848554576,0.0,0.3658262308306201
mentalhealth,NotAsLost26,2019/01/15,What do you do to calm yourself down/reason with yourself when you overthink? I've been overthinking a lot lately so I was wondering if anyone had any advice?,3.6660000000000004,6.327832266666667,4.436666666666671,81.06500000000003,76.33333333333334,6.666666666666668,26.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,1.959666666666667,128,5,21,2,3,41,26,30,0.0,0.904,0.096,0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,2,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945317041144867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27455819226725625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823055752331439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554382090424987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432467446166792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151136976438957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43784063742686696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Caramel_Twist,2019/01/15,"Seeking help on sleeping and switching off my mind. Hi there,

I’ve recently had chronic problems sleeping and feeling extremely restless.

I have been unemployed for 4 months (have an interview coming up so fingers crossed) and moved back in with my mother after graduating.

I am aware I have been extremely isolated and have very little contact with friends over the last 3 months because I have no ability to visit or talk to them currently  (money and travel reasons).

This has led to me withdrawing in on myself a great deal and being unable to stop fantasising about social scenarios and interactions, of when I’m finally able to meet my friends again. 

I feel it has become obsessive and unhealthy of me, as it distorts the reality of the relationships/friendships I have. 

This has also led to me unable to switch off these delusions at night, unable to break out of my own mind and switch off using regular meditative methods. I have lacked sleep for a while now, and have used YouTube to a varying degree of success to fill silence and prevent myself day dreaming. 

But I’m not sure it is sustainable and was wondering if anyone had any methods they would suggest to help get to sleep.

And also any way I might reel myself back in from my fantasies and separate the reality from delusion to ground myself again? 

*TDLR: I have trouble sleeping and fantasising about real people (like talking to them), due to chronic isolation and loneliness. How do I re-ground myself in reality and help myself sleep at night.*",9.351098901098899,8.936618890109894,8.958589743589744,65.56557692307696,59.732600732600744,11.756043956043953,41.84432234432234,11.062562989136584,4.9213706959706975,1219,61,190,27,14,392,158,273,0.104,0.7959999999999999,0.1,-0.0195,3,1,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,3,1,13,10,0,2,8,0,23,9,7,6,1,44,32,27,0,4,4,1,3,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,6,21,0,2,4,3,1,8,2,4,0,0,5,3,27,6,44,24,2,45,0,0,0,0,20,16,0,4,20,144,33,4,0.10630500103212187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002414183689765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445820921113136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433092843604712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348396795518585,0.0,0.06480254194183477,0.11740552168022013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157234550109804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855793127240609,0.10959578822718642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750200525946672,0.0,0.0,0.11645193248328994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642619601929214,0.0,0.05553997546217053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720163892753578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21376200413574464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665276418066302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193525383128355,0.1065455383600086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277280685506873,0.21467549378623002,0.0,0.16970327522994186,0.11298539254470966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995200843407658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369850266776541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171952918375674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099836430109262,0.0,0.10929924613394144,0.10496336378833816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6382906393951258,0.10836456124779567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887574088570252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019120540476407,0.0,0.0,0.17088786613549836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362677845660105,0.0,0.0877127590118461,0.0,0.08437996172879443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528323895159392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551602269373675,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,y7uo,2019/01/15,"Empty feeling Hey all, this is my first post to this group and any group in general for that matter. So hi I guess. I’ve recently switched medications and I am now experiencing a feeling of depression that’s rather strong. Now this feeling of depression isn’t accompanied by the typical suicidal ideation that I’m used to, rather it is a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time, one of complete and utter emptiness, tiredness, and overall malaise. Sorry if this breaks guidelines or something I haven’t read, but I could use some words of encouragement or advice. Thank you.",5.679056603773584,7.537998556603775,5.830330188679247,76.86172169811323,68.15094339622641,9.073584905660377,34.94811320754717,9.516144504307137,3.4813433962264164,461,23,81,10,8,146,72,106,0.114,0.742,0.14400000000000002,0.29600000000000004,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,2,1,24,17,9,1,4,6,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,6,7,3,10,15,2,10,0,2,0,0,6,2,0,5,6,53,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937609141664223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483997805698913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20789709185259367,0.0,0.0,0.15831370829595973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415635857656237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4010335669816896,0.0,0.19038381783485334,0.0,0.0,0.1686603424156753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21843227567855966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17547517663761064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19975035628774346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436242843158924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899013437815168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19833774467495646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19578161393750906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264877682935696,0.0,0.22196280072711574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21689060747716565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18255334625221006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562104521298328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34250757360324835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DiscombobulatedHome8,2019/01/15,"Did chronic loneliness chane my brain? I suddenly stopped making friends since I turned 17. Now I'm 22 and working as a computer programmer. I've been doing everything on my own. I don't have friends. All my old friends from pre-17 have moved on with their lives. 

I can socialize pretty well. But it just ends with socializing. I don't feel like getting too close with no one or putting trust in any one. I just feel very lonely, always. I feel pain every moment but I'm still learning to live with it. 

If you ask me how I picture my life, I see a long and empty road leading to infinity. I see myself walking alone, not knowing where it leads but I have to walk, hoping it will lead me somewhere someday.

P/s: Sorry for being so poetic but that's how I think about my situation in life ",1.4711111111111137,3.951914968152866,2.993832271762209,89.13353680113238,84.03184713375795,6.036659589525832,24.008846426043878,7.3871296695380915,1.1950116065109695,618,24,125,10,18,202,109,157,0.11,0.7879999999999999,0.103,0.2379,0,3,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,4,11,9,0,0,2,0,11,5,1,6,1,31,25,12,0,2,9,0,3,1,3,1,4,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,6,0,0,7,4,2,1,2,2,5,22,7,15,21,2,22,0,1,2,0,8,7,0,3,9,79,27,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15427478236578307,0.0,0.0,0.12394436031541015,0.0,0.0,0.1012960343648696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392549160545663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628554821573074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319319059610981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550290314207702,0.0,0.13387316672742133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259517757705048,0.10641508538441223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.345251993277271,0.0,0.07782401237780685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479481541728682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186300612452825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104258142565372,0.07277298564460684,0.0,0.263063952205618,0.1318224741578682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943011751637544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583179775421387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630557101830045,0.0,0.2018745681195716,0.0,0.15850101063885105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154306896694045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974317320134212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373992769499365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232189721064122,0.16743418411876346,0.0,0.30368630470887426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674544014442025,0.0,0.0,0.11895744804190825,0.124534926442068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544578778071196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202270809568667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290532695101647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393045204087906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844264822163556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Christy6821,2019/01/15,"CBD Oil Benefits of CBD Oil.. Check it out..
https://www.buylegalmeds.com?rfsn=2115843.abb7f2",17.916666666666664,22.36182,8.130000000000003,42.7116666666667,99.0,9.333333333333334,23.33333333333333,7.793537801064563,3.530333333333333,80,2,8,2,3,19,8,10,0.0,0.7759999999999999,0.224,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nationalexpresssss,2019/01/15,"My mental health problems Hey so this is a big story i just need some help or guidance, so as i started high school in a new school i hung around with my mates from my old school however we became friends with another guy, this guy introduced us into weed and it became a regular thing smoking regularly for a whole year sometimes days and days in a row, as it came close to the end of our school holidays we decided to try acid/LSD, i didn’t know what i was getting into but i just did it to follow the crowd, on lsd i then smoked a cone from a bong and a couple hours later started seeing patterns on the wall that i kept staring at, that night i didn’t sleep..

i kept smoking after this experience but the weed high was never the same i was always paranoid about things and problems in my life i had a break down twice where i would cry and just think my life is stupid, i also never talked i just sat there thinking.

a few months on about halfway into the school year i fell out with these people and it has taken a toll on me and my self confidence, i stopped smoking regularly but do it occasionally sometimes by myself or with some other people for the remainder of the year definitely not to the extent i was once smoking, as of recently i’ve stopped completely but i have an underlying feeling something isn’t right with my mental health, i always seem to have music stuck in my head and i can’t depict if i’m “hearing things” or if it’s just stuck in my head, i also get words stuck in my head and repeat them or spell them out etc. sometimes a random word or phrase will pop into my head and i just sit there like why am i thinking of this or why is this here, i just need some guidance on the situation as i don’t know what i am meant to do or feel i feel constantly drained and at the moment i am losing sleep i have been up for 2 hours because these songs are stuck in my head. 
any help appreciated thank you.",4.596649746192892,4.97567269543147,5.471120812182743,83.90763553299496,69.50761421319797,8.232934010152285,27.688934010152288,8.109356740369918,1.5928384974619283,1518,47,319,19,25,498,189,394,0.098,0.8240000000000001,0.077,-0.7935,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,4,1,2,1,18,7,1,0,24,0,27,11,7,0,2,77,57,33,0,7,21,0,3,1,2,2,4,2,0,3,21,27,0,4,11,2,0,3,8,4,0,1,19,7,51,3,52,36,8,61,0,1,2,0,18,31,0,14,26,226,72,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580606956520782,0.13090005662779575,0.0,0.0,0.05349035890293747,0.08248011302418766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002258656096025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047949385372328006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996416998222596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247175814113672,0.0850017063870934,0.0,0.0,0.08703394147380909,0.08640247746165383,0.10145622589499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966792969592496,0.0,0.08772482573842362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694293605370031,0.0,0.0,0.11931603893974325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06077122744948753,0.0,0.0821914575325023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557682185183745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036306763691079,0.1672202443488721,0.08865364997248075,0.0,0.10544603557337748,0.16621367985433225,0.0,0.0,0.1549252129445763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645711761433024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111740353508476,0.038428484836306134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799854663195669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585381836896902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278432526806169,0.0,0.0,0.11664830391841165,0.12133230009130636,0.0759687012797229,0.0,0.07381551037119621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253868124966883,0.0837685499252804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906355830769973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053078964407124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766560738898673,0.0,0.0,0.06717378051421702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3980321257581329,0.06268050179343418,0.07160758567516047,0.08205778862955196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841525393652756,0.15743026395156656,0.0,0.0,0.06055502215556376,0.23338528673136336,0.0,0.11134953581095383,0.0,0.0,0.1315237650339326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322258281272765,0.0,0.0724180183849918,0.0,0.0,0.1567712896954864,0.1512032374073223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340384000002201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461628108165618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195380916185735,0.0878192117870537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558766178829455,0.0,0.0,0.1519601488441438
mentalhealth,pickleddaikon33,2019/01/15,"I feel like I can't have a relationship with my borderline mother I'll try to make this as concise as possible. I have a bad history with my mother, who suffers from pretty bad borderline personality disorder and Crohn's disease. I moved out when I was 14 because she was emotionally and verbally abusive - she would scream at my brother and I about the house being a mess, having no groceries, having a relationship with our father (they were divorced), etc.    
After I moved out, it took me considerable time to talk to her again, maybe a year or so and as time went on I began to see her again and eventually spent a day or two a week staying over. Throughout college I would stay with her every Thursday and occasionally visit on other days, which she would constantly guilt me over since she didn't feel she was seeing me enough. If I posted on Facebook that I loved my dad or posted for Father's Day, she would explode into a rage over how I love him more, and that I've ""never said anything like that"" to her. When I started working full time, I couldn't go see her like I used to which became a huge problem for her.  I would still pick up groceries or things for her when she was sick and unable to get them. (She doesn't really have much contact with family other than my grandparents and has very few friends due to her behavior towards others and pushing them all away due to her BPD.) About 5 months ago her car broke down when she was out, she called me demanding I come get her and was saying how she had no food for herself, her dog, or her bird, and that I needed to help her. I was about to leave for an evening shift at work, so I mentioned I couldn't do anything for her and she became irritable and passive aggressive, hung up the phone on me and sent me texts throughout the evening saying things like ""It's fine, I'll get a taxi."" I called my social worker who reassured me I shouldn't feel responsible for taking care of her all the time so I went to work and left it at that. During this time she didn't have a car, and my job was so emotionally draining that I couldn't even fathom spending my time outside of work running her errands considering how she treated me. She never asked for help after this so I assumed she was fine since she had mentioned her friend was going to run her to the store. Suddenly a week or so later, she exploded on me about how I was a terrible daughter and a disgrace and that she ""didn't know me"" because I wouldn't help her and families make sacrifices for eachother. I tried to reason with her and point out that she wasn't treating me well and that just escalated her. Long story short, she was very verbally abusive and insulting, blaming me for not helping her and that ""I should be ashamed to be a nurse considering how I treat her"" among other really nasty comments. I ended up blocking her for months until the other day I decided to unblock her and she began texting me saying ""Congratulations, your grandparents didn't ask to see you when they were here because they are disgusted by you and your behavior. Good job alienating half of your family."" I ended up texting her out of anger back and forth (which went nowhere) to which she still sent me nasty text messages and saying things like ""I have 0 empathy, but that's how I was born."" I'm really considering just cutting her off entirely. I feel awful deep down because it's not something I would ever want to do, but I can't even have a normal conversation with her and she refuses to accept or take accountability for her actions. Sorry for the long post, I just thought maybe I could find someone that understands where I'm coming from or has some advice. I see a social worker every couple weeks and I talk about it to some family and friends. My aunt (moms sister) is supportive of me, I feel my grandparents aren't anymore and are angry that I won't talk to her. Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this. 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mentalhealth,sir-goomba,2019/01/15,"I’m unhappy This probably doesn’t matter, and is not too bad, comepaired to other stuff on this subreddit, but I’ll tell you my situation because I want some form of help. 

So I’ll go from birth to now, and sum up my life. I had always been happy and confident until 2nd grade, in 2nd grade is when my uncle died, we were very close and this impacted me a lot, I was still happy, just, a little less, then things were like that until 4th grade, when my grandfather died, we again, were very close and this is when I started to become the stupid little crybaby I am now, I cried at a lot of things then, but until 6th grade everything kept going like that (a bit less happy, and crying all of the time), then 6th grade rolled around, and I got really close to my friends, they have always been here to back me up, but anyway in 6th grade I started getting bullied, a lot, one time kids threw rocks at me, and I wouldn’t stop crying, that was the day I swore to never cry in public again, I saw myself as weak, and stupid, I got distant and distracted in 6th, (according to my closest friend), but then I had hope, 7th grade was the best year of my life, I met my girlfriend, and I had some of the best times hanging out with friends, and  generally acting like teenagers. Then 8th grade came and I thought it was going to be amazing, but on September 13th... my dad died... we were very close and now, I hate myself, everything I do, everything I make, I hate, my friends are the only thing that bring me happiness anymore. I’m getting bored with everything (video games, social media, good food) aside from being with friends, I feel terrible, and don’t want to feel this way anymore, I just want to be happy, when I’m alone, and now I get anxiety over the smallest of things, my life is great aside from the death, so why can’t I be great too...

Anyways that’s my story, if you have any ideas as to what to do, please share. And thank you in advance",9.698620394173089,5.731245614395887,9.02374293059126,76.55688260497004,62.00771208226222,12.429888603256213,36.73024850042845,9.725611199111238,3.1494852099400177,1500,42,322,20,15,478,182,389,0.151,0.615,0.234,0.9916,0,1,0,0,0,0,70.0,3,3,1,3,22,31,4,1,13,0,31,5,0,1,2,60,61,39,4,6,9,1,2,3,6,1,4,0,0,1,18,30,1,2,4,3,0,9,6,9,0,1,21,3,49,22,43,35,12,61,0,0,1,0,22,21,0,7,33,217,67,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719060433941817,0.0,0.0,0.12402986321542946,0.0,0.0,0.05068295666930056,0.0,0.05701524704490081,0.0,0.1478274690860873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634750249070777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05730897058550472,0.06222943801763948,0.045432797068255176,0.0823125309803094,0.0,0.0,0.15642927658900516,0.0,0.08136745838698067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524246654004694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274708273508134,0.04806568516578195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232051123934408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679310380103518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536921612994316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012197348636623,0.0,0.2879084708659003,0.0,0.11681654879897545,0.0,0.12707135195697766,0.06251222909109035,0.11921690106993678,0.16433917923284744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966928616518287,0.0,0.14716589270370178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995588888843227,0.0,0.0,0.07402510803371598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413529971557243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792823222947042,0.10923478203013624,0.14939728219868695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19008822582155774,0.0,0.0,0.04974935464456477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748213167977592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050503457774978916,0.05668342448683932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181156055691285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035594705431806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04774582732271745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377484421634991,0.0,0.0759739506049107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055054371366984,0.0,0.059519755362600464,0.062310418371786275,0.0,0.0,0.08531902041372089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514250623380753,0.06861721183331955,0.0,0.0,0.1980576848012228,0.0,0.0,0.059168496000066184,0.1303771294469993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844851696122745,0.1318791774284589,0.059158445995720677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725173382971524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047994877315515966
mentalhealth,tempAcc45158,2019/01/15,"Need some advice for my roommate. My roommate is a sociopath. He told me about how he wants to murder people for fun. I'm not gonna write too much detail but, I explained it to him as an ""instinct"" to get rid of other males because they're competition to him. Is telling him to take hunting animals as a hobby a wise thing to do? Of course I convinced him to never kill anyone, I'm sure he's convinced. I'm not gonna report him to the police cuz that's just stupid, he will simply hate me and try to ruin my life. What else should I advise him?

Keep in mind our ""friendship"" is based off trust. ",2.356532258064515,3.7677299758064535,3.7105161290322606,90.54577419354843,75.85483870967742,5.605161290322582,22.883870967741927,5.6839178017228535,0.25940903225806444,463,13,99,2,10,152,85,124,0.124,0.6920000000000001,0.184,0.8209,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,4,11,4,0,5,0,6,1,0,2,2,17,19,6,2,3,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,15,6,18,14,2,3,0,1,0,0,17,2,0,1,1,60,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626702874374915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879526684886602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385925669279702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22454965091988596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043799553628708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26538640965393906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23892364474362915,0.29738968181292674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18986286276153536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714134799954643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760046197195488,0.1993133407876507,0.2073167398435787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18635352109106235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533427849098224,0.0,0.20210571583712236,0.0,0.23494487109260284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17858016184359374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568519124301259,0.0,0.18249897175939148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854643474272506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jyndon,2019/01/15,"Help with sleep and keeping motivated 18 M 

At the moment I'm living day to day in my gap year. I really don't like my job and I'm trying to get more exercise in before work (10:30 start). I can't get myself into a routine of going to sleep early enough to wake up for it though.

I'm normally spend a lot of time kayaking but due to yet another injury I can't be doing that for a while and I don't get scan results for a few weeks yet. I want to get motivated to go to the gym more which I really enjoy once I'm there but I'm always too tired for it and now lacking motivation. 

I feel like I'm starting to slip into depression as I never want tomorrow to come which is the main reason I keep staying up late. I keep making myself excuses to stay up. But it just means I never get up early enough in the morning to get anything done and I'm tired all the time.

Any advice for fixing my sleep schedule?

Or even help with dealing with sport injury would be helpful.

Thanks",1.7146494066882418,3.3636397961165017,4.052944983818771,86.38879180151025,78.2233009708738,6.713700107874867,21.638619201725998,7.594959193182576,0.8382683926645087,762,21,161,11,18,265,112,206,0.115,0.747,0.139,0.4868,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,8,5,0,0,9,0,10,7,4,6,3,36,37,12,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,11,0,3,6,3,1,3,6,1,0,0,1,2,16,4,33,33,9,36,0,1,1,0,5,10,0,2,23,103,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987561531006708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355955455136428,0.0,0.0,0.07646343753664582,0.11790373255271094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252900151601097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567863615465533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685758752081937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14502972031842878,0.1159212816057071,0.09684489081548324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506573289170376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23236231446753444,0.0,0.07426593038504839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685332632960419,0.08032755956604137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524733152652622,0.0,0.1278051245307454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22609961458238906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157990737514216,0.29982701204350004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683785088089716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098655574639441,0.0,0.09928707576628212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559294443163677,0.0,0.0,0.07505494788265311,0.0,0.0,0.1224807344983616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734421854608212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101678768286016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974552828052396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406460573905053,0.115607624118909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3375652940340586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591720162443669,0.239693355624339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103520162116624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104722807319902,0.0,0.13112999120821806,0.2584677694222853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763397604317526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264071275453945,0.0,0.09019303608448698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185806789568846,0.0,0.0,0.07987454877624688,0.0,0.0,0.07240803506471084
mentalhealth,throwawhey8888,2019/01/15,"Anyone else feel worse after appointments? Hey, so I have a nice psychiatrist who I get along with well. But the last two visits I had I found myself being super anxious going into the appointment and crying in my car in my way home after.
This also happened to me with another mental health professional before I started seeing this one...

Does this happen to anyone else? I don’t know why I react so strongly to my appointments...it makes it hard to keep going.

Am I alone on this?",3.825543478260869,5.976641554347825,5.312391304347828,77.45815217391308,73.67391304347827,7.208695652173913,22.369565217391305,8.07648339933343,1.44475652173913,381,10,64,6,8,128,67,92,0.121,0.75,0.129,0.4136,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,2,0,12,17,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,5,0,1,3,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,2,3,13,4,13,14,0,13,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,4,48,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177939284040579,0.0,0.13739325945812345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801536540809559,0.0,0.19409196683093036,0.0,0.2402616105229065,0.3520712624709184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619431927685048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887209106005912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034865768177388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870438669809216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868703158346255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18837649801301745,0.0,0.0,0.08976158534347396,0.0,0.1952827081550778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038550968626299,0.0,0.15390450080307574,0.0,0.0,0.18262182816678027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17233550564116676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270913719847098,0.0,0.0,0.0944201280068625,0.14004488519351854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468189195681885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314011860458886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642024563686808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690720130807302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160522713322967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678295749710205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637166874798348,0.0,0.0,0.15447429827436754,0.0,0.15502826374473894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508507250076188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chelso17,2019/01/15,journals for mental health do y’all know of any journals that are designed for daily journaling for anxiety/depression management? i would love to start daily journaling but need guidance to keep myself on top of it. any suggestions or links are appreciated! ,8.70401515151515,10.645705613636364,8.366363636363637,61.20287878787883,61.04545454545455,12.23030303030303,39.66666666666666,11.855464076750405,5.742948484848484,213,11,29,7,3,68,35,44,0.0,0.799,0.201,0.8605,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,7,9,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,8,8,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,19,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4749810127219996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007939859782266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37121848982436784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31041445517360383,0.0,0.0,0.1919293968282968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151965377785316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519448578606384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589519432277921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24718900924549125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24808519791090955,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jaktwy,2019/01/15,"I feel selfish for trying to take my ljfe Around a 2 months ago I tried to take my life and ended up in a&e, but I realise how selfish I was for trying to do that. I have a full life I have friends, family, people who love and care about me and I never thought the impact it would have on them, the guilt they would feel, the pain and suffering they would go through I was a coward. 

Some people in the world have nothing and have No one and have problems in their life real problems . still carry on day by day and live their life and Someone like me who has everything is disgusting really. 

I don't think I will ever lose this guilt. I took my life for granted and the shame will always hang over me and the people who I put this through will never forget this.

Think of others and think of what other people are going through and how your life could be much worse.

Suicide is never an option. ",5.965580110497239,5.466721718232044,5.941928176795582,84.69996408839779,66.62430939226519,8.344972375690606,28.044751381215463,7.1686216300943375,1.3560713812154699,705,18,145,5,10,222,100,181,0.244,0.6459999999999999,0.11,-0.9856,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,1,5,1,6,15,1,3,10,0,22,8,0,2,4,36,35,15,1,6,1,0,2,1,1,6,7,0,0,0,11,13,0,0,6,0,0,5,5,11,0,1,4,2,24,4,21,23,3,25,0,2,0,1,11,10,0,2,11,113,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085227702562717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946676655531596,0.12327223670928608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128146582195678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599843973480235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083792174513508,0.0,0.0,0.14674743936318888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076848609757423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291355659355814,0.0,0.0,0.10225120483128744,0.0,0.10725439652220928,0.0,0.11505338409025442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790019475394863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931883700252286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4821644298400337,0.055583397653406384,0.0,0.10046302301742364,0.0,0.0,0.127282098974268,0.0,0.0,0.10268394037884744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908119623409782,0.0,0.08363572940406981,0.0,0.2632446288048516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916758781994068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709505317466245,0.0,0.12106174598676728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155015430212866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21772944667240085,0.0,0.11437258301563084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949778237741494,0.07288544702649698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639889838974083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085870367664144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244484273745509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710852170291833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187020827673482,0.0,0.09032249565394852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264052086473219,0.2317317651932781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594369089925065,0.24246172737840416,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RobSka17,2019/01/15,"Somehow, my negativity has become just as important (if not more) a part of who I am as my positive aspects I don’t know. I’ve been consciously having issues with anxiety, depressive episodes and self-resentment for somewhere between 6 and 8 years. It seems kinda fucked up but I feel like those issues have kind of become an integral part of who I am. I can’t imagine ever being super positive and active. I certainly have things I’m passionate about and I like having fun and spending time with friends, but I’ll never be one of those smiley people. What I find myself asking is: is it okay for it to be such a big part of who I am? Looking back, I’ve seen that even as a kid, before the issues hit, I used to have a kind of vaguely unhappy little spark in the back of my head. I’d sometimes feel vaguely unhappy for no good reason. These days, I’ve even had someone say they were attracted to my “brooding” personality. I don’t know whether that says more about me or them, but it’s a point on the scoreboard for how big a part of me all this is. It’s weird. In some ways, I want to be happier, more self-confident, but I also don’t want to change who I am. I really don’t know. Just a little pre-sleep reflection I had.",3.544324444444449,4.576981468000003,5.261066666666668,82.08097777777779,72.32,8.595555555555555,27.488888888888887,8.998388855275968,2.1180622222222225,957,34,196,19,18,327,138,250,0.076,0.682,0.242,0.9928,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,1,13,15,1,0,11,1,26,3,1,3,4,39,41,17,0,3,10,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,17,7,0,0,11,0,1,0,9,3,0,1,5,6,25,12,29,31,9,17,0,1,2,2,12,9,1,6,9,145,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895665489343682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509644648356482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399212408524207,0.0,0.0,0.17106966999957074,0.0,0.0,0.2457063417431644,0.09465499005251804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767461318046342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173903854498251,0.0,0.09580876719395776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469427488593172,0.10062076224709224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249012850648599,0.0794681514834359,0.0,0.0,0.10166913557454506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594188064785815,0.10283735297568417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330080694430792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141618521467618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483094084949636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23167364987705075,0.1833997994201596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869012840081116,0.2229785625483421,0.0,0.0,0.09341155377406367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579328154795313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537746505595178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818378492317654,0.0,0.07711813389734401,0.09712836679545968,0.0,0.0,0.10515547104891088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712616440367512,0.11437076186247605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692118141773022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126651772322916,0.2320901180575907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131791739875774,0.0,0.09425124305113046,0.0,0.11001681387190812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390130732079915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486352916516118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607355628371443,0.0,0.0,0.13122161697670642,0.08829521565978968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163335635025256
mentalhealth,selenageorge1,2019/01/15,"What will help me I hate myself and my life but I’m not suicidal, I’ve tried to kill myself twice while I was drunk but I’ve never tried sober and although sometimes i have suicidal thoughts I wouldn’t actually consider suicide while sober. I mildly self harm (not to severe). I’m 14 and my Mam has a small idea that I’m depressed but she wants to bring me to cognitive behavior therapy but I don’t think it will help. I just want to get by without feeling like this. What should I do?",0.8701666666666661,3.2861487500000024,2.5280000000000022,91.78066666666668,86.5,6.133333333333334,22.333333333333336,7.492282038375204,1.0072333333333336,385,14,82,7,12,126,63,100,0.265,0.595,0.139,-0.952,0,0,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,0,9,2,0,0,1,20,20,10,4,4,8,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,4,1,0,1,6,4,0,1,2,1,15,1,7,14,0,5,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,52,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.17828476082558972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735563737647762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237649323816946,0.13051792642829407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545102261759884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037429324983656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24491430687843554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20624133683086499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021258501772879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290434567831094,0.08925594667352865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409062750308424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19059157906604046,0.2063942681602861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806908321228789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5995187052045938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089285860511291,0.0,0.0,0.11706410103842572,0.0,0.1450400694426565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24807693124035246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21551744982941254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611224572357076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ExpressoDepressoBoi,2019/01/15,How do you know if you're depressed? And is there any way to find it out without going to a therapist or something. ,2.428750000000001,4.028024375000005,3.84,88.905,76.08333333333334,6.466666666666668,28.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.5105666666666666,91,4,19,1,2,30,22,24,0.136,0.8640000000000001,0.0,-0.5106,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,8,4,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,14,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738890202343702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468945827532933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36811320505378603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288964599706973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22134507714413776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100625239504074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4676326862917578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196902840155367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38824401220439503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Trapped_On_Earth,2019/01/15,"How has professional counseling helped you? I have trouble with it. I have been to several councilors, and it has not been one bit of help. I know it helps some people, and I know why it didn’t work for me previously in some cases. I want to see your success stories; maybe there is something I’m missing.",3.41,5.252993333333336,4.430000000000003,84.67500000000003,74.0,7.466666666666668,28.66666666666667,8.238735603445708,1.9670666666666672,240,10,48,4,5,78,45,60,0.079,0.7559999999999999,0.166,0.6597,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,0,10,14,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,1,8,1,6,11,3,1,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,2,0,34,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077020135144309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5667447860335284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097895547990949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831514341715736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19098563424329051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953960073227521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245941720124307,0.0,0.0,0.3184049061565797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169782416076299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623962961691274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543214980775539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051866972898128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EpisodeAddict,2019/01/15,"Went to doctors for review on depression. I feel paranoid Hey for a little background I’ll start with:

I’ve been having CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for a few months and started antidepressants around 5 months ago as GP felt I was suffering with anxiety and depression.

(I’m based in England. I referred myself to the well-being team to see a therapist)

I’ve had my last session of CBT and my therapist was concerned that although I completed every task and achievements I set myself, I still feel the same as before even with the combination of therapy and medication. 

I saw the Gp today and explained that sometimes I’m not sure when things I feel or do is depression or just myself and I wanted a therapist I could really discuss things with and find out what is up. GP thought I would benefit from a referral to the community mental health team as she explained that the tablets won’t work if I’m not actually suffering with depression so there may be a personality disorder.  

That’s all fine by me but when I’m alone I think I do need help and when I speak to someone professional I feel like I’m just being a hypochondriac and “trying” to be diagnosed with something. I feel like I’m making a deal out of nothing. Does anyone else feel like that?

TLDR I saw gp to say tablets and therapy not working and I feel like I’m exaggerating or hypochondriac. Am I being paranoid?",4.1660622529644264,6.410433587121215,5.513794466403166,75.9754743083004,72.97727272727273,9.136758893280632,31.175230566534914,9.653516015845867,3.3699985507246373,1113,52,196,30,23,372,139,264,0.108,0.812,0.08,-0.2826,0,1,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,5,10,13,0,0,14,0,18,4,0,1,2,54,46,25,0,5,10,0,8,4,0,3,4,2,0,1,8,21,0,0,14,2,0,1,4,6,0,0,9,13,26,7,30,29,3,20,0,6,3,0,12,7,0,5,15,129,34,9,0.0,0.0,0.09564366486097604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687999045085039,0.0,0.0,0.1015088473392668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497741542277246,0.0,0.0,0.06853090163747726,0.10042287240672856,0.0,0.08724971852865326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339932869437412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276166645333748,0.0,0.0,0.07825304501342123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104405179522492,0.33766362925307125,0.09947813160201058,0.0,0.0,0.11232800165803848,0.1003174331127041,0.0857692500145299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187481541848395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473470973148686,0.0,0.08257768923944007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468977619608691,0.2800735801725469,0.0941050123025763,0.0,0.0895794046478673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041800936547097,0.0,0.0,0.06569406655472583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798912671162154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19153102735108965,0.09823181228718296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542246545494831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873480818736297,0.09877107218059687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564613641594297,0.0,0.0,0.07267320577243933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404328059869936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855785900291982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278774390050655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794152085308766,0.0,0.0,0.0781013156940554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304359225766424,0.07545292023695342,0.09693443966261302,0.0,0.13874402724818016,0.0,0.0782709477724275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237330660334353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33624908104793466,0.3413916457502077,0.13022703645674993,0.06280087874657861,0.0,0.07780902713696784,0.0,0.0,0.09290206173312346,0.0,0.0,0.066542386352648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057808863325512924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812280012207539,0.0908562927426152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270495870538694,0.0,0.0,0.06962352323811748,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BootyFyre,2019/01/15,"I keep internalizing it... (rant/vent) A few years ago, I was an awful friend to the one person who cared about me the most. I said and did awful things, I allowed my ex and his friends to encourage it; and even though my best friend and I made amends, I still hate myself for it. 

I hate myself for the things I said, I hate myself for letting myself get so carried away with saying such spiteful things and airing out dirty laundry that should have never been told...

I almost lost my best friend because of it. And I almost lost myself, because I was building myself up for a potential suicide honestly. 

But at the time I thought, “nothing matters anymore, nothings going to change. Just throw it all to the wind and don’t look back.” And that’s what I tried to do. I numbed myself from the turmoil I was in, the depression and the nagging voices of loneliness and sadness. 

I hate myself for doing it all. I regret it, and I still hate myself. I will use it to beat myself up and remind myself of how shitty of a person I am, how so undeserving and how I distaste everything about myself. 

My best friend has forgiven me and we’ve moved past it all, but two years later I still use it to remind myself of how much of a shitty person I am, how I wish I could take it all back and do right, when everyone I hurt has forgiven me, but I am yet to forgive myself ",4.876566095072718,5.23336221771218,5.736283915780338,82.32924462774041,68.88929889298893,8.000086824397656,27.38029086173215,7.724431198458867,1.5375602778380726,1055,31,209,11,17,347,130,271,0.188,0.687,0.125,-0.9196,1,0,0,0,0,1,35.0,0,0,0,6,20,27,7,1,13,2,19,1,0,9,5,46,40,27,1,4,4,1,0,0,5,2,1,4,0,3,18,17,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,15,0,2,12,5,50,12,29,24,10,25,0,6,1,0,17,8,0,3,14,178,68,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222562396358403,0.0,0.1857703086345651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199241375323992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715052315564711,0.14265252774648704,0.0,0.11309055594900295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920358474117332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457440493458216,0.0,0.09812716083350896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406084438877843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989354758518599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612667182875007,0.0,0.0,0.08863559544806736,0.08336618038028437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35832846680930125,0.0,0.04846296545009427,0.0,0.052717312768632216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579035877317195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930087146707076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244882943682623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485278572908257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789454592757744,0.0,0.20251571640229746,0.0,0.0,0.08777120060683691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858857750106777,0.06818884252015077,0.0,0.07154177871806419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801031944599574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285617973882217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854935686293497,0.0,0.2429818279177433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921603295392014,0.17647088931726934,0.0737660093142091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22223336416397887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146374374431813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974353547612577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18487569935293174,0.0,0.09113565355059712,0.0736406135996991,0.05408876040967075,0.0,0.0,0.08863559544806736,0.0,0.06297755339841665,0.0,0.09061246926735472,0.0,0.0,0.16022870276771614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066687485886556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946804310026475
mentalhealth,1337User2,2019/01/15,"Dr's Role playing with delusions Hi,  

I was recently watching a film where the Dr's are role playing with patients, experimenting with them.  It reminded me of my former detainment and they were role playing with me.  I was still self aware and not delusional, I thought those people were kind of sick f-cks.  I could see it as a useful tool to build on what you know of your patients delusions but it may be unethical next to reasoning with them.

These folks were trying to play along with me, it was a bit deranged.  It was a long long time ago and transpired over me joking about re-incarnation and religious stuff.  I was never trying to be literal, people took it literally though.  I mean, I surely didn't take religion seriously.  

That is one thing I would tell others, take it somewhat more seriously than I did, unless you want to burn in hell.  I've met numerous people that wanted to put me away, I was just joking.



Cheers

",4.882946544980442,6.376010367231642,5.653333333333336,78.78148631029987,69.62146892655367,8.835984354628422,28.869621903520212,9.265573868473778,2.4887804432855285,733,27,137,15,13,239,112,177,0.07200000000000001,0.78,0.14800000000000002,0.7787,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,3,0,5,12,1,0,5,0,18,3,0,2,2,28,29,8,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,15,11,0,0,4,7,0,2,3,3,0,1,14,2,22,9,24,10,3,16,1,0,2,0,13,5,1,2,9,98,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899490689759454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791894859202374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350244883678749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420012013956026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16441684057692482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750319553341315,0.0923736918072296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974952711265482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830910096385184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963550953541064,0.0,0.1787575402241998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138969848653499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495815197352384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16896923758817178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281670222286685,0.1659610932896153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393991182582504,0.0,0.17534660156175833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423082248998075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19241413568324933,0.0,0.0,0.1584156736869601,0.0,0.2527540947473159,0.0,0.14691142692963924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116664785051964,0.0,0.16514010549602387,0.13343865133851954,0.09801019965521124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674573196788585,0.22823383400267194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516922767148097,0.0,0.0,0.1982787098466183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940091508889306,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CatfishOW,2019/01/15,"My Diagnoses Are... So I just made my first YouTube video on my mental disorders. 

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjRCrtXQMIQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjRCrtXQMIQ)",25.68729166666667,34.142674812500005,7.877500000000001,48.0841666666667,50.875,9.633333333333333,30.33333333333333,8.841846274778883,4.434858333333334,151,4,12,3,3,29,14,16,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4549076102401631,0.0,0.0,0.5136693057499946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3812337002827286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4240921252061158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.451674269338869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amberoo97,2019/01/15,"Depressive episode or a sign of something more serious? To preface this, I have booked an appointment with a doctor to figure out if something is actually wrong but due to the state of the NHS I have to wait a while to get that appointment. Just posting here to see if anyone has suffered anything similar and can help me figure out if something is wrong.

I’m 21, female and have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for about 6 years. I take medication for it and while I’ve had some bad times as a teenager I’m mostly stable now. However, within the last 6 months or so (it’s hard to tell exactly when it started) I’ve started feeling more tired and lethargic than usual. Everything centres around the next time I’ll be able to go home and lie down. In addition to this, I’ve been feeling increasingly demotivated to do anything, get distracted and bored very easily, and experience severe brain fog. This is a problem for me at university as I used to be extremely motivated to work hard and now I can hardly focus on anything or think about anything too complicated without the brain fog kicking in and muddling up my thoughts. As I said, I started noticing it around summer time and it’s gradually been getting worse since then, within the last month especially. Lately I’ve also been more confused and forgetful, like I’ll go into a trance and do something unintentionally and then be confused as to why I did it (kinda like going into a room and forgetting why you went in there but with pretty much everything). I’m not sure if any of these symptoms are linked to my depression and if I’m just having an episode, but as I’ve said I’ve been diagnosed for a long time and I’ve never experienced anything like this before, coupled with the fact that I feel any emotional symptoms like sadness. I’m worried it’s a sign of something more serious, especially since the symptoms are getting worse. It may not sound like that big a deal but I literally don’t want to do anything at the moment but it’s so debilitating to feel so tired and foggy all the time. So if anyone who’s experienced the same is out there, please help! ",7.203094629156009,7.203601568627455,7.755711849957375,71.05331202046038,63.950980392156865,10.821142369991476,36.611679454390455,10.472087959537523,3.8884580988917294,1712,77,306,38,23,568,192,408,0.192,0.703,0.105,-0.9913,1,0,5,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,2,18,21,0,3,23,0,28,11,2,2,5,79,57,47,0,8,19,0,7,5,0,1,9,3,2,0,18,30,0,1,10,1,0,5,5,15,0,0,11,13,15,6,54,42,10,54,0,5,1,0,8,19,0,15,33,200,33,4,0.07514433289805021,0.0,0.07333002920815962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009289586967104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220144635929412,0.0,0.05748520898792454,0.0,0.0,0.10508532951016486,0.0,0.3710242995779052,0.1337887756059907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274237918898988,0.0,0.0,0.06394229265460362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777185447439105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314577508363817,0.0,0.0,0.07747050764130478,0.19416511144506304,0.1525398322314798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691340885917533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452726035960847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506976214842267,0.07350557664127963,0.0,0.0,0.15198093019131534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703924988506546,0.0,0.12811876826337934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194368727641626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007353247340143,0.0,0.07537589279114687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250532138484126,0.08476608056575739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183558626835602,0.0,0.0,0.06650036996052025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570000981001176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199589792009398,0.0,0.05523973089782573,0.0,0.05795594203215585,0.0,0.07991685053094641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555232105771515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248591210240122,0.0,0.0,0.07196749910416712,0.07644880143263992,0.0,0.0719029781196041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295893693026415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059880304350168674,0.0,0.0,0.08489170719081537,0.0,0.12432033738675426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892488934243182,0.0,0.0,0.15956263677299634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082264445976122,0.2343112023967833,0.05649918651171777,0.0,0.06567945907343943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04814945432589423,0.0,0.059656206617615275,0.21908632403785344,0.17273471297676146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490057680903406,0.08276086637581523,0.0620019443920705,0.0443220744658018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696595494353486,0.13561214497437524,0.0,0.0,0.07243645538194761,0.0,0.05470596931446594,0.07631271765069103,0.15315698996614793,0.0,0.16431706333802856,0.0,0.04839048668261425
mentalhealth,stelioskali,2019/01/15,"Somethings wrong with my head lol. Can someone with some expertise pls try giving me a sense of what’s going on with my brain? So here’s what’s up. When I get really fuckin upset, I’m talking ballistic, it’s like I change as a person completely. I start having a completely different thought process and it’s as though my whole psyche changes. I generally love life. I love the little things and the big things. I love having fun basically. But when I have these states, I can’t seem to really remember what I felt like afterwords. I just recall myself feeling very depressed and angry. So some time ago when I got in my faze again, I decided to jot down my thoughts as though I was talking to my future self. This is the result: ( some context: this specific rage was caused by a huge but regular fight I had with my father where we almost ended up smashing each others heads in. Ps more context: I also talk about weight loss and xanax in my notes. Tbh I dunno where the weight loss thing comes from cause I’m in pretty good shape and feel good about it and as for the Xanax, there was a time in my life when I abused it) Don’t forget the kind of person he is. He throws these fights on purpose. He does it to punish you. He knows you hate yourself. I want it all to end but I’m too afraid to die. I am a fucking pussy but I want peace. I want to take all the drugs and be in a zone of utter mindlessness forever. I don’t want me anymore. I want the dimension where I can exist without having to know anyone or ever feel pain again. Coming to the actual conclusion that no one will ever understand you ever no fucking matter what because everyone is just going through their own shit is a tough realization. It really means we’re all alone. No one will ever understand us. No one will ever truly know the pain we felt. No matter the movie you portray it in, or the autobiographical book you write. At the end of the day. You live and die with your pain. And you never get to share it.i finally understand why people cut themselves. I never got it before. Why the fuck would anyone do that. What a pussy attention calling act. But I fucking get it now. It feels fucking amazing. Fucking Nirvana. When all you feel is fucking misery and wanting to die. To feel pain instead, real physical pain, feels like heaven on earth. I think I cracked a fucking smile in the mirror while I slit my wrist. And oh god how close I was to ending it. I wanted to so fucking bad but I’m too scared. I don’t want to cringe at the sight of my arm split down the middle.  I would be okay on passing with pills though. That’d be a fucking amazing way. Fuck me I need to try heroin. I fucking need it. I haven’t tried it yet but I’m craving it. I want to die to heroin mixed with fentynal. The perfect death.
Don’t forget this sadness tomorrow when you wake up. Read this and feel these feelings again. I’m tired of letting them go. It hurts more every time I have to get them again. If I’m always like this I can’t let anyone affect me. Read this and remind yourself that nothing will ever be good. You are destined for nothing. You will die young and everyone will have expected it. Your mother gave up on you. Your father HATES you. Your sister is the only one who gives a fuck AND YOU TREAT HER HOW THEY TREAT YOU. I DONT WANT TO BE THIS WAY. I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THEM WHY AM I LIKE THEM WHY JESUS FUCK THIS IS THE ONLY THING I DONT WANT TO BE. IM EATING THEIR SHIT AND CRAMMING IT DOWN MY SISTERS THROAT AFTER ITS GONE THROUGH ME. IM JUST AS BAD AS THEM. what if she feels the same way as me. What if she feels no one will ever understand. I can understand. Atleast a part of it. She understands me too. She’s the only one. Read this everyday you stay living your worthless life. She is everything. Die to protect her. She is the only one who will ever truly love you. Don’t ruin it. Jesus fuck please don’t ruin it. I’m begging you.
From tomorrow stop fucking eating so much. Eat the essentials to stay alive for fucks sake and that’s it. I’ve packed on so fucking much. I need my fucking Xanax. That shit kept the weight away life a charm. I looked fucking good back then. Jesus it’s been a while. I need to be high. I always need to be high",0.5890684726782851,3.0370465502336472,2.1951376610255124,93.05994906121077,89.33878504672897,4.953843563189358,18.809842552833206,6.558462875189752,0.13362717016081538,3301,95,687,40,111,1072,334,856,0.234,0.631,0.134,-0.999,1,1,2,0,3,1,99.0,3,23,8,4,46,76,31,3,41,2,62,56,10,6,15,133,159,56,7,23,16,5,16,6,0,10,15,0,0,3,56,30,6,3,31,4,0,9,21,51,0,7,15,18,111,25,83,122,16,94,4,8,2,25,71,35,24,11,50,459,167,5,0.0,0.038985215950588605,0.032109027501938364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02916692921386272,0.0,0.032948059137754074,0.03407805813008364,0.0,0.026312882552836647,0.054756623875314325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032631387769601165,0.06902058621265385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030913880823301782,0.0253007273061441,0.05494602417783168,0.020057641895072684,0.0,0.027998418322669943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03673113966774472,0.03359810826778142,0.0,0.0,0.06760182771234635,0.06961498900283998,0.056686829204986924,0.06899729697918555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021220007631231386,0.0,0.0283396991683944,0.0,0.2048915605276528,0.03437710926128935,0.0,0.0,0.028794036819273162,0.0,0.1156878191174952,0.0,0.03815756378631362,0.101005352134396,0.0,0.0,0.1165707860120684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381044838123721,0.02772258150803614,0.0628813261279062,0.02957150538691856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300674062100755,0.02350623614590252,0.06318495704834776,0.0360441286675996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6083743131158199,0.06876279264978473,0.06312798800619088,0.05609937835979432,0.11039143403723424,0.05263180045702902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649707032253584,0.06753687874505887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952861736793915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03522383108017086,0.0,0.0710827593125583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03426388698577061,0.05424863815008968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672920278068815,0.09296273856737466,0.09644980198578547,0.032977907808939805,0.058108710430311364,0.0,0.02763061680409778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187866177644874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0358415104852657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04837565340559272,0.1219874816692311,0.05075434870832341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314350851162748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607363735367924,0.10009824647470957,0.17505798975691056,0.0,0.0,0.03563123734681449,0.0,0.0228111140461112,0.057460058746573436,0.0,0.036118114895333495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03347464461963857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873708296907902,0.03745133737530277,0.06323639099201661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03727320246205013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03294210035828149,0.0,0.0,0.029954071346073894,0.034325481468694165,0.0,0.10132477685412784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02787899221069105,0.0253306885982618,0.0,0.0,0.0232892361094539,0.07014141410927924,0.0,0.027508763243342286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02473930466319829,0.079339656758422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743837871883574,0.021083206564186552,0.09698243787654152,0.05224333876941052,0.05755881087019055,0.037817683351564144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670178620783973,0.0,0.0,0.20552195388260347,0.03957880729112796,0.0,0.0,0.02714879782752248,0.2328877361702237,0.07835169754584065,0.0,0.12020263859020455,0.0,0.0,0.118761007996286,0.03673553451946465,0.0,0.03171775823789092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467473433955936,0.035974764790980225,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,utatm,2019/01/15,"If you use CBD for relief from your mental illness, please help me out with a research project (super quick google form). If you use CBD products (containing trace amounts/no THC) for a mental disorder or ailment please feel free to fill out my form. I'm conducting research for a psych class at ASU and the finished product will contain graphs utilizing completely anonymous subject responses. It shouldn't take more than a few minutes to fill out. [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSckp2MxJeyo03miq5LiW-piIl-LkcXpmFTVj\_cqpP1uBGzuGw/viewform](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSckp2MxJeyo03miq5LiW-piIl-LkcXpmFTVj_cqpP1uBGzuGw/viewform)

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​",20.010240963855413,23.788311469879524,11.782795180722893,40.15226506024101,36.710843373494,10.013493975903614,43.10602409638554,9.888512548439397,4.645821204819278,584,22,59,7,5,147,65,83,0.061,0.7829999999999999,0.156,0.8074,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,5,0,2,1,0,2,0,14,7,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,12,5,4,8,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,2,34,6,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38273544829526096,0.4292253267093761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18518273669959046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20242185119173026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930439187519265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183846802937289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559828890369591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877515006285424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279627875735595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.305085988721562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4292253267093761,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwmeawaybabt,2019/01/15,"What is the cause of and solution to the lethargy that keeps us from succeeding? A broad question but I can be specific. I'm 25 and live at home. I've been feeling depressed, anxious, and angry for the past three days. I feel like I have no future, can't succeed at anything, etc. 

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Is there something at work here besides a possibilty of genetics? What am I (and so many others) doing so wrong?

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I'll pop back in every couple minutes to answer specifics and ammend any issues to this post.",2.988350515463914,5.577620257731957,3.7641340206185605,85.35238659793818,78.38144329896906,5.9418556701030925,28.25670103092784,7.1686216300943375,1.7575616494845367,403,18,71,5,10,128,75,97,0.23,0.69,0.079,-0.9619,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,5,0,9,0,0,1,0,12,13,8,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,2,5,3,11,11,1,10,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,5,49,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505235341017212,0.3931007151657119,0.1099991301650336,0.0,0.0,0.1827374128617746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331108044537277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437981777960096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16616721943775348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789791291983217,0.0,0.10431876722426696,0.0,0.13931957669997933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803998836989638,0.0,0.0,0.1362857911010454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635766490421795,0.11555799693559105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225372414575384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688304761431716,0.0,0.14377551584249984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902545416126798,0.0,0.14283286656693392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399445489954498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441370784099456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491683500800693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120292140509334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245271091996834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945716729498511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775976277813288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17685399456005027,0.3931007151657119,0.0
mentalhealth,SentencedToDeath,2019/01/15,"Siblings with depression I am dealing with depression and sucidial thoughts and have always been afraid that my youngest sibling has it too. Now I found out - on reddit - that my other sibling may harm herself, and I don't know what to do. I don't want anything to happen to her. ",7.043144654088053,7.042313566037737,6.662264150943397,78.7637106918239,64.28301886792454,9.330817610062894,38.42138364779875,8.841846274778883,3.398111949685536,221,11,40,3,3,69,38,53,0.22,0.78,0.0,-0.9026,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,11,13,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,8,0,7,9,0,3,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28268506995338105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795713103989832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502498035281321,0.5852230670844557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724996971184209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004247683312293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670837103048996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26971005203421555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20038332452244745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatuwere,2019/01/15,"Today is my one year of no suicidal attempts/thoughts! On this day a year ago I called the suicide hot line and confessed to not wanting to be here anymore. I finally told someone how I would imagine driving my car into the wall on the free way, or driving into a tree or even on coming traffic. 

With the help of my older brother, the mental facility I went to, the people I met there that are similar to me, the nurses, the doctors, and the psychiatrist I would not be here. 

I’m ALIVE, I’m BREATHING, I’m HEALTHY.  
I’m happy and I finally see myself as someone who is worthy of all things life has to offer. 
Today, I am thankful and I am proud of how far I’ve come. ",1.6478439079169045,3.6234892700729935,3.9375182481751834,85.60269511510387,79.65693430656935,5.9672094329028615,27.32678270634475,7.010146845296331,1.4534541268950028,518,23,103,6,13,179,84,137,0.076,0.743,0.18,0.9355,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,11,0,10,3,1,2,1,21,22,9,2,3,4,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,2,0,1,6,3,0,0,1,3,2,14,5,16,15,1,23,1,0,1,0,8,7,0,2,9,72,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622440105035858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359298906873207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684395097563582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841916468876511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638359915812057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688404487119851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895252299792156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614045954002442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559976202273853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056717990734022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165139863314324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623782755685312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177911205263097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436039304057713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314493481104709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27953501090257754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608723033566944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187021539059253,0.0,0.0,0.10959008114316084,0.0,0.0,0.1309574083787535,0.0,0.0,0.3127198394653241,0.15762345399623298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729589484654952,0.13093516474215194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291676390619252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23436139740988654,0.0,0.0,0.21245376082194709
mentalhealth,Sebastian0320,2019/01/15,"Feeling tired I have been feeling really good until yesterday, my family is going through financial trouble and I have adjusted to the circumstances but yesterday I came back to the highschool, it's a rather small high (only 3 classrooms) and I was excited about the groups, I would spend my last 6 months in here (after that I'm going to collage), I was waiting for a class with the majority of my friends, surprise or not, I was completely alone (I have been in this school since a child, I know everyone and there's no one on this class that I feel like I could talk to), I'm trying to make a switch but it's complicated, every time I have a major thing that turns me down, I don't feel sad, I just feel the necessity to sleep
Any one knows what's all this about? and any tips on the class situation?",8.603071428571425,6.130163950000004,8.664285714285715,73.65500000000003,62.625,12.642857142857144,36.60714285714286,11.20814326018867,3.7663392857142863,632,22,130,14,7,208,98,160,0.044,0.799,0.158,0.9457,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,11,0,13,2,1,1,1,25,28,8,0,3,6,0,5,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,10,6,0,1,8,0,1,3,3,2,0,2,6,5,18,5,19,20,3,18,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,1,9,88,28,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614807947209332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313158591169519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307784178080893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19452233725841847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832209372458413,0.0,0.0,0.13579233685796455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432968824693166,0.16251549295748932,0.0,0.0,0.1603330950580841,0.0,0.4299792308345423,0.1215027668804574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140076992732538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933169180774137,0.1426521944237713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969528033202012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693931811173453,0.13863514006891486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309084260027988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352746037695036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575353050830155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23049663025425016,0.12935092873938536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895543385981823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17212661312099176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068913245722975,0.1911732398401257,0.1701994410948199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670113978348747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129913449343502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917304122571717,0.1954780482806058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154708566469438,0.18499451708351747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081754670591098,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bakakon1,2019/01/15,"Is depression contagious? I have a coworker that is really depressed and no matter how i uplift and change the mood it doesn’t work. I also gave suggestions like change her routine or do something specially on weekend of which she would find an excuse or a reason not to do or an excuse because she has no time. 
I feel bad for her. shes in her early 60s. Im hoping she gets off of it. She is nice However, Im very concerned though that i find myself sometimes down for no reason. And I attributed it to talking to her on a daily basis and we work in a small company with her and 2 bosses. Im not trying to avoid her i want to help her but then im worried if i put myself in a condition where im not suppose to. so i keep asking is depression contagious? ",2.29451801363194,3.79563367088608,4.684177215189873,83.12669425511199,76.21518987341773,7.8995131450827625,25.44498539435248,8.617729084823388,1.867059785783836,592,21,120,12,13,208,91,158,0.161,0.753,0.086,-0.9409,1,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,2,5,10,0,1,8,0,11,0,0,5,0,29,18,15,0,4,8,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,2,5,1,0,1,7,5,0,0,1,1,24,4,18,16,0,14,0,3,0,0,20,9,0,5,5,88,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031083471115564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726538933903123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473351861526572,0.07646440091814588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653885465136918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32411259465811226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342402769510673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292918020818408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553494389981253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407686435085104,0.0,0.0,0.12458589177759595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6774600716870346,0.0,0.0,0.11149295883083664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128151692421864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609746214946335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803572819231893,0.2579374551059524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656648267242272,0.1240590537602058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082041472971597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323987785810404,0.0,0.07314252947868831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516256466317118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349753836413499,0.07398518945462354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826372773752961,0.12738597958766446,0.0,0.08910587859625246,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ostrinette,2019/01/15,"Looking for some information sudden weird episodes I was laying in bed with the love of my life last night and it was like I forgot who he was, but not really like I knew I was supposed to like him being close I knew it was wrong that I thought there was a stranger in my bed but I squirreled myself away from him and hugged the wall and hyperventilated, I was scared of him I didn't want to be touched just like I am with everyone else. And then I realized I couldn't remember much else even though I knew I was supposed to it was just unfamiliar now. But when I looked up at my photos in my room, it was all foreign but I could see the outline of my grandmother who raised me and it all came back to me. This is the scariest most confusing shit and its happened 3 times now, completely out of the blue. I just want to know what's going on I hate feeling so helpless and detached from my own reality. I'm scared it'll happen again because each time it's been harder to find myself again. Here's a list of things a doctor has diagnosed me with just in case it's some thing my therapist forgot to warn me about: BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION. ",2.760018315018314,4.786928029914531,3.9847741147741154,86.34038461538464,76.3931623931624,7.534065934065935,25.24542124542125,8.418075326091056,1.6225728937728938,925,33,192,18,21,302,133,234,0.203,0.721,0.077,-0.987,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,16,15,2,3,8,0,20,6,1,0,2,45,40,15,0,4,9,0,2,4,0,1,3,0,3,1,16,14,0,2,10,0,0,2,3,9,0,0,19,6,34,6,28,16,8,26,0,2,4,2,9,12,1,4,16,141,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228469046224317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379026670999496,0.11286314374531338,0.0,0.08947444446966027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787481359415268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538938338169594,0.0,0.0,0.11719020837828552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641958874299633,0.14897647713929446,0.0,0.0,0.16822018770980998,0.1502333984375457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245228199827372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694541754176654,0.0,0.0,0.1402525718686821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421531557048165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341523399541301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341726211044027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595904214771014,0.0,0.0,0.14491278706397112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066529434029636,0.11964357731189615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367357031807213,0.28683306831487065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465129352526762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324727838210923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107898643743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377411145611639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816079932124724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402968012351204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662707461496946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939005636495189,0.0,0.11696298155854287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506654033653296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042045284930413,0.19502542726913225,0.0,0.14420853986244805,0.11652525601181428,0.17117474572820018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314681462086914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604785902270186,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heathermf316,2019/01/15,"I switched to herbal supplements... I stopped taking my Wellbutrin, Rexulti, and venlafaxine to try St John's Wart and 5HTP. So far on day 5 and I'm irritable and just so tired. Anyone else weined off all their meds? Experiences??",1.8678571428571442,4.607340547619046,2.764285714285716,85.9307142857143,95.90476190476193,7.161904761904763,25.04761904761905,7.957251820313856,2.2551047619047617,181,8,34,5,7,57,35,42,0.214,0.7859999999999999,0.0,-0.8512,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489387325937048,0.36478642456207133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22960461922499684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974105446538409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482576525751787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954599796753525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29765018088599393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676840991670845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4091947060908531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417154440782959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mcrazingwill,2019/01/15,"I cried today and it feels so good! I’ve been on Zoloft for depression and anxiety for 9 years. I’m pretty anal about taking my meds at the same time every night and rarely miss a dose. The past few days my sons seizures have been horrible, I’ve been fighting with my husband, and so embarrassingly obsessed with spending my evening quiet time reading about Jayme Closs being found safe that I forgot to take my meds two days in a row. Bad I know. 

BUT.....

OMG....all I’ve done today is cry. Not bad tears though!! I am feeling my emotions like I haven’t in years. I’m not shutdown and cold! I’m just listening to music and crying. I haven’t let loose like this in so long, I really forgot how great it was for the soul. I don’t want to take my meds, but I know I’m going to start getting manic if I don’t. 

I just wanted to share and let you guys know that if you haven’t cried in a while, it feels great. 

Ok....now to go take my meds 👍 ",0.9315869218500764,2.7709851464646458,2.4792610313662955,95.84854066985649,81.37373737373737,5.3805422647527905,18.501860712387032,6.339386263674448,-0.2892161616161619,721,16,169,6,19,235,109,198,0.125,0.725,0.15,0.706,0,0,0,0,3,0,32.0,0,2,0,0,10,14,1,2,6,0,16,3,1,1,0,32,41,17,0,4,8,2,3,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,6,9,0,4,7,1,1,2,7,7,0,1,8,6,21,7,19,30,2,21,1,2,0,0,8,6,0,2,15,93,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965031896870804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386909096245776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4574768540579666,0.13429555613041685,0.0,0.08967705682600134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065493097298746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117119227149511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876924537056811,0.0,0.0877242733766274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579362297714107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416049156290747,0.0,0.0,0.05439758576236373,0.0,0.11834581379243456,0.08732960470431926,0.0,0.229581887712309,0.0,0.1030936216522637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166230937074542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21293631120490347,0.0,0.1017340177365274,0.0,0.0,0.09214153992212466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.462608444700166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977080995168367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939282892446867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592588121518873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414661246800336,0.0,0.06670093655271497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736955652779424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131364263162835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229583526276008,0.0,0.12142459528998074,0.0,0.1973842071821117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170858349942118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282350297439185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409771894996114
mentalhealth,JanezCS,2019/01/15,"Why is it so hard to find a damn Psychiatrist? Honestly, I've been searching for 3 weeks now. Only a few I've called accepts my insurance and they haven't even called back. Jesus, why is this unnecessarily complicated? I just want to be evaluated for depression and be cleared. What if someone else was in my shoes but in such a worse condition? Ugh this is so frustrating... ",2.216838810641626,5.044692154929582,4.106384976525823,79.672848200313,85.19718309859155,8.225978090766827,26.198748043818465,8.841846274778883,2.646416588419405,297,13,57,9,9,100,54,71,0.189,0.73,0.081,-0.8757,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,7,6,2,0,3,0,8,1,1,0,1,9,9,6,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,4,2,6,5,1,5,1,1,0,0,3,2,1,1,3,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994801178339426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5297993622995198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22344047509325785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21671445865515815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713463108765778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23710773680145894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323918704617211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19730272731030446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980809420959588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530142872020479,0.0,0.20809331977272635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4681774476780332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643739934574087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,growingfluent,2019/01/15,"Forms of jealousy affecting my life Hey mentalhealth,

so I’ve thought a bit about whether or not I should post, but realised I really need some kind of point that I can work on. I feel like I don’t know what exactly the reason of my issue is, nor how to tackle the problem, so here we go:

I think I have jealousy issues. I don’t get jealous just seeing other people in their success or happiness, rather the opposite, I don’t begrudge them at all. What comes to my mind is usually “good for you!” or nothing at all.

Now what I really have a (mental) problem with, is when someone (no matter what my relation is to them) complains about their situation while having a even slightly slightly “better life” than I do. I try to always keep a positive mindset, so seeing somebody else go on about something that they‘re annoyed about really makes me feel like they’re dealing with “first world problems”, which triggers anger inside of me. I really don’t know how to handle it, but want to get rid of it to the point that I can just chuckle over someone nagging at their life, instead of trying to teach them a lesson over humbleness.

I have an example at hand: Just recently, I’ve had an argument with my SO over something trivial, making me feel totally foolish. She’s been on vacation (somewhere sunny), and was somewhat pissed off over the fact that a sightseeing attraction had a huge queue, which ruined her plans to go there. In turn she texted me, telling me that she’ll just have to go get some fast food, adding “fml”. I felt so annoyed about the fact that she has it better than me, that I started an argument I shouldn’t have. In my head, all I could think is “I’m sitting here in the cold, fasting, working my ass off, and she has the audacity to be annoyed for getting burgers?

My behaviour is applicable to many other instances, when I’d feel rage for other people complaining about their lives. This has just been the cherry on top, and since **I really do not want to jeopardize my relationship,** it is high time for me to tackle this.

What can I do to stop this kind of reaction from my side? What do I even call this, is there a name for this kind of behaviour? I just want to be a better version of myself, and this issue has honestly been holding me back too often.

I sincerely hope there is someone who can give me insight on this. Thank you so much for reading so far.

Regards

(In case there are some weird wordings, I am sorry, English is not my first language.)",4.898602272727274,5.953967670833336,5.521060606060608,81.38636363636367,69.16666666666666,8.568181818181818,31.003787878787875,8.841846274778883,2.508145833333334,1942,79,369,33,33,628,226,480,0.151,0.716,0.133,-0.8904,0,0,2,0,0,0,64.0,1,2,7,11,37,32,8,0,21,0,46,8,4,7,7,74,80,23,0,12,16,0,6,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,30,9,1,3,13,1,0,5,10,15,0,2,8,9,62,17,63,66,12,49,1,1,2,1,26,28,2,9,16,280,92,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147325595423412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604955640428213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279069745070652,0.0937773698828799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771052785392078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739927330477463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858183301874013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855612310765046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175599260715773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134684293131341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17372858877281366,0.12272978965265804,0.08247467224891837,0.0,0.0,0.14612803357257434,0.10386709637668053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795107269716701,0.08240031114621749,0.19526917206160493,0.07204639970192925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143904443984456,0.0,0.0,0.08815519071970829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907549865857064,0.0,0.08531518710689717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26896272054056064,0.0,0.07634927605394358,0.0,0.2683457880928612,0.094413583240608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201495465541187,0.08392995399378575,0.0,0.07584869993470313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467394273886793,0.08708616230706097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656405866646888,0.0,0.08673156954043054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314424106359127,0.06369160027404883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824205699017634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910044684504002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240101980161234,0.0,0.0822656634693379,0.0,0.0,0.2465757296304887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592033016611818,0.0,0.27513936148231793,0.0883165097197567,0.0848130089284527,0.09222132341264047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368977115345466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105495650925768,0.09655192270592453,0.0,0.0,0.2183409646173386,0.1322555454699441,0.0,0.09615475437781426,0.06079839901086431,0.0,0.0,0.07181380943985544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507783852768148,0.07908249541016425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007876764129253,0.0,0.06819269084727525,0.050087281143242526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663696482924316,0.09343136272317654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460350389346006,0.0,0.1519929790941753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506820210255698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hakunamatata1325,2019/01/15,"I overthink a lot and its troubling me I have a decent job and a caring family. There isn't really any troubling aspect in my life right now. 

Despite this, overthinking is killing me from inside. I have done a few things in the past which my parents wouldn't approve of and I constantly overthink and imagine scenarios of them knowing about those things. I imagine a troubled relationship with parents because of that and start feeling bad about it.

This habit has also extended to other spheres. My grandparents visit us during winters and are more than 85 years old. I start thinking about whether they'll visit us again or not and I start imagining worst possible things. I often get emotional thinking about it when I am talking with them.

The bad part in my case is that scenarios I imagine are actually possible which makes me think they are bound to happen and I start seeing things from that perspective. I constantly worry about it.

I suppose people on this sub would have gone through such a scenario. Would appreciate any kind of help or suggestions.
",5.6423437499999975,8.03979771354167,5.437916666666666,77.44875,69.26041666666666,8.55,33.35416666666667,9.188382445141503,3.3477541666666664,859,41,139,18,16,266,112,192,0.14400000000000002,0.7979999999999999,0.058,-0.9638,4,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,4,1,12,9,1,0,8,0,16,1,0,1,0,30,31,13,1,3,4,2,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,18,10,0,1,9,0,0,3,3,7,0,0,2,2,26,2,21,25,5,21,0,0,1,0,14,5,0,4,13,112,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.11850056984862307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710949908659806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515648178116668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278207353356345,0.0740241041010116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380849200751418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624507118705672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426757304010487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659517974448002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447572161271648,0.0,0.06139990338293318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634434514786402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738232853495017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139362218840154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050298504245947,0.0,0.13434703177226426,0.12645322667581652,0.06673610751067131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577134183102747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032375400194717,0.0,0.0,0.08105711390903009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742294579466593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696727655778437,0.1314995270334539,0.11592102904605647,0.08418598206323517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737937194179235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779274709448336,0.0,0.0,0.13037302351628727,0.0,0.10370266236014286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967659533867252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438020974185922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760281628896628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226973381301022,0.2334270627107765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29213660972101185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233205635665793,0.0,0.17252427937758924,0.0,0.0,0.07819852670267209
mentalhealth,ChargeFactor4,2019/01/15,"Losing a dream job that would have changed my entire life ): A bit about me, 20, recently dropped out of university and ive been mentally ill for the past 6 years.
Tldr: I could have landed a six figure job if I didn't screw up a task that could have been easily avoided ): 

My whole life would have changed, wouldnt need to worry about struggling paying my parents bills, my mental health would have been better, would have my own house... My family and I would have been secured for life if I didn't fuck up. I have trouble sleeping and I just want to end it all ): I can't reach out to the contact as he despises me over this incident. Im trying to cope with this but it fucks me up on how happy I would have been if I would have avoided this fuck up. 

The only thing that keeps me going is my family, but seeing them struggling when I could have turned their life around,makes me give up on life.",3.659505494505496,4.668323521978024,4.263406593406597,89.43159340659342,72.02197802197801,7.358241758241759,23.340659340659343,7.61054688173877,0.8148109890109896,699,17,151,8,13,222,99,182,0.151,0.735,0.114,-0.7258,3,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,2,5,14,5,4,7,0,32,12,1,1,1,31,42,11,0,16,6,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,0,9,6,0,4,1,1,2,1,4,11,0,1,7,1,25,3,21,24,4,18,0,1,1,4,6,11,4,3,5,108,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199492961754244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139624969424412,0.11282103058087167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21864103403925786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24752687423297234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152898519960956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948404000506398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866098037388321,0.0,0.09913359732002806,0.05873077177409122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000785415412608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984608941937787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192410300410451,0.0,0.0,0.11162544317738386,0.0,0.205098945717071,0.09185375980652158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649621579101091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561155480603635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20828577986802746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662565063658237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859508572878668,0.0,0.0,0.11474736474190685,0.0,0.09865017383348172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020362491070415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234897672423461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341510334873928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160677981128956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865481777574718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016139710622465,0.11240475867652154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095288790134254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537594659381388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494726567905534,0.0,0.5138707447564722,0.0,0.0,0.06654787587915392
mentalhealth,fransacco_,2019/01/15,"I want to end my shit already Hopefully this post doesn't trigger anyone but here's a warning now just in case.

I've been depressed for a good 6/7 years and been suicidal several times during this period. My will to live is severely diminishing day by day. It's hard to picture myself living past 30 (i'm 21 right now). I just don't see it. There's versions of what could be, but I don't see how I'll ever get there the way I am right now. 

I'm nothing but a burden to everyone who loves me. My parents, my friends... they're all sick of it, sick of me. They're sick of dealing with me. And i don't blame them because i'm sick of dealing with me too. 

I want to get help. I want to be better. But it's so hard when I have school and I want to do things that normal kids my age do. I know drinking and getting high is the last thing I should be doing in this state of mind but everything is just so overwhelming and I feel like I'm running out of time to make things right. I feel like, I already fucked up my chances at having a normal life.

This is not a pity party just stating some general facts: I was bullied for the majority of my adolescences, starting in maybe 5th grade and gradually getting worse, and worse, and worse. Home wasn't a safe place for me either with my parents fighting all day everyday, and me fighting with them as well. I was 14 when I first started smoking weed, and by 15/16 I was smoking more and more daily. I'm 21 and still smoking daily. So my brain is basically fried at this point. 

Anyways, yeah. That's all, I just wanted to vent. I probably won't kill myself because i'm too scared but I really just don't want to exist anymore. 

TLDR; I want to die lol
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mentalhealth,mckidm,2019/01/15,"I've created a platform called FC Not Alone with my Cousin where I hope to use soccer/football to open the conversation around mental health. My Cousin had a serious fight with depression and without going into too much detail, it was pretty horrific. Thankfully, he managed to come through the over side and we decided to use his experience to do something positive, so we formed FC Not Alone.

The purpose of FC Not Alone is to use Football/Soccer to open up the conversation around mental health. The reason for us using football is because we are passionate about it and because in the UK it's probably the biggest form of escapism that exists.

It's common to be sat at a pub with your mate chatting about football and you could possibly not talk about anything else in life that's actually important.

So we want to change that.

This is promotion for the work I have created but I believe my Cousin's story as well as various other people who shared their stories in the piece of content +++ an interview with the CALM (suicide prevention charity) CEO can help those who are suffering.

Here is the piece of work I have been working on for the last few months - hopefully it helps just one of you out there who are suffering.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGah9jU361M&t](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGah9jU361M&t)

God bless you all.

​",7.6398287416232264,9.665063308016881,6.526383718044182,73.10242740134031,63.59915611814346,9.795879870935716,33.77240009928022,10.056822442137396,3.6408592206502863,1112,47,176,25,17,335,143,237,0.063,0.754,0.183,0.9749,0,3,1,0,1,1,49.0,5,4,1,4,13,13,1,0,16,0,16,4,0,5,1,38,27,9,1,4,7,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,14,19,0,1,2,2,0,2,5,5,1,1,4,0,18,8,39,21,8,22,1,3,0,1,29,17,0,2,3,129,32,7,0.0,0.0,0.10734705837664862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417897937175529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575646086278739,0.13366568356080308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052309487219083,0.19585198124424785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411361370432662,0.0,0.0,0.12393570972831322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232536050332778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636858649684245,0.09475784284478084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782844324730235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474542138726076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189338993942472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760404041735544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251723904665125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338560867882393,0.0,0.0,0.1474653822121978,0.0,0.0,0.21851559630678272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966712565201973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769837098961238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221714298938806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780334388339214,0.0,0.08086486097757388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454087865854585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626222846507777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401185251286408,0.0,0.11191259622873914,0.11860183763171962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113101403393548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846856824771216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032542610946673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841624332508402,0.0,0.10127598161584184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232006283909892,0.3800290867263052,0.0,0.0,0.06488261857292665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890590644731624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060389650522353,0.0,0.24025047903148816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13366568356080308,0.0
mentalhealth,Toorahlooryebread,2019/01/15,"Need some help. The title is two-fold in meaning. I need to see a therapist, but I’ve never gone through this process before so I also need help with that. How do I go about setting up an appointment and what can I do to make it easier for myself? Open for any tips or advice. I live in America. ",1.0573118279569904,2.9585887096774215,3.285161290322584,89.91440860215056,81.25806451612901,6.713978494623658,21.623655913978496,7.793537801064563,0.9283784946236562,228,7,50,4,6,78,50,62,0.0,0.8490000000000001,0.151,0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,2,1,13,12,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,10,11,1,8,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,2,1,35,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458905974620132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122897143792592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111749760697373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411918324213672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300751964340833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33732549397610057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22219450886834247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679654391492169,0.0,0.0,0.2740995888705523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5597429034689146,0.19407310024033664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20051708075289945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921626248799545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458066202190673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WastedWallabie,2019/01/15,"I really miss someone but I know they're bad for me I'm not sure if this belongs here but here it is 

context (I'm 14 now, male) 2 years ago I met this girl I'll call her mia, so mia and I would play TF2 (Titanfall) all day and she had so many friends and two of them have gone on to be my best friends. so we would play all day and all night me her and like 3 other guys one will come up later (his name will be Trevor). So I started to know something was up when some random joins and pours his fucking heart out to this girl and asks her out and she fucking throws him out. Anyways fast forward to July and her best male friend who I fucking hated at the time (Tristan, My best friend now) tells me to watch out and that mia is manipulating people and talking bullshit about people but anyways a few days later I get on overwatch and ask her what the go with Tristan is and she says god knows what bullshit but the next day I get on she was ignoring me or some shit so her cousin tells me it was that I called her a bitch and she hates me. So I did whatever but the next day all the Titanfall friends I made are talking shit. So I don't remember the in between but I when on to my mates account (acting like him) and asked her some questions she said that she never even liked me and that we were never even friends and I don't know why but that cut me fucking deep also what Tristan was referring to was she told everyone that he was desperate for her (he is 2 years older than us) and that he was a pedo and asked her out via Facebook (lies). She also sent me a random insta pic of some anime bitch Then a few months later I invited her to a party to try and clear the air and I used an unnecessary insult after I found out her father was unemployed and played a lot of her ps4 and had read our chat (with nothing inappropriate) but anyways she then told me that I was an asshole and that her dad was dying of cancer. I told her that I was so sorry and that if she was lying I would know because I was still in contact with Trevor who I had just found is her only male cousin but she swore. That night I found out how deep she had hurt me. I drank 2L of coke and played UNO on ps4 until 8 am crying myself to sleep with a broken controller (and I don't ever cry). One day I catch with Trevor and ask him if his uncle was dying and he said no and left. fast forward two months into easter time 2018 after I had just lost my ps4 for 2 months (that story is in another Reddit post) and I get a random Friend request from let's call him Gabe. So Gabe (i later found out gabe was her older brother) joins the party and immediately goes off his fucking nut and yells ""listen cunt stay the fuck away from my family and stop spreading shit you pathetic cunt, Trevor had a fucking panic attack because of you"" he leaves and I put the pieces together and realize Trevor had a panic attack after he thought his uncle was fucking dying and it wasn't even my fault but I wasn't gonna tell him that so I just took it. No bullshit 15 minutes later he joins back and goes ""hold on were you friends with (Mia's PSN account), oh sorry mate, just coming to check if you are all good I went pretty fucking crazy, anyways catcha"" so then I thought some more Trevor must have mentioned that I said to him that she had told me that and then it must have bitten her in the ass. (That is just a theory though) anyways yesterday I checked on her account she had made everything private but the one thing I could see was the music that she was listening to the album was The Matchbox Twenty Collection and the song was unwell (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WziA88-n02k) and another song in the album was my name when i listened to the song I don't know if it was just 4 am me but I felt like it was her talking to me directly this line in particular ""But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me""

It made sense her parents never paid attention to her she was always online and she lied about everyone she was friends with to get the attention of her cousins and other strangers.

I have no clue why but I miss her so fucking much and some nights even though this all went down last year I just think about her when I know she is a liar like most of my other posts this is just to get it off my chest but if you made it the end of this text wall have a good night.",2.3989184098344403,4.028706272628135,3.402418955090713,91.88031525726184,76.24100327153762,6.246733419252504,22.050857539407158,6.925212125942446,0.4281956379498357,3480,93,763,34,77,1115,331,917,0.179,0.716,0.105,-0.9978,4,0,1,0,0,0,67.0,4,7,1,5,50,57,24,2,38,0,74,20,7,8,14,163,149,95,3,12,34,7,1,5,11,9,1,11,0,6,45,65,2,4,22,9,6,14,15,33,0,5,66,15,139,24,78,70,22,112,0,4,3,11,137,39,18,19,64,528,184,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04037681837998492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285171998050435,0.037900771814262456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552509062186347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21291282572145345,0.10363809695762204,0.042795185680009715,0.03502469745207761,0.038031868604736764,0.055533015353786866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434039391006718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953317184942224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847359557683999,0.0,0.0,0.05108755507094672,0.03636751074431969,0.0,0.10006781255328293,0.17625367165650704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418193404310235,0.047589456088927534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04034327217573785,0.0,0.0,0.1203398667124832,0.04120206410768994,0.0,0.08704885817572923,0.04093688757823913,0.0,0.04293994559717973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043734592633696334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977038085096493,0.3167223659629686,0.42109710911991455,0.11898847705920465,0.0,0.02588678882002301,0.07640939589740921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045101093598193774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994125726829573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539762898252133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876160324396985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20026218908289006,0.037128862074670234,0.0,0.048230265944495074,0.04948958526964058,0.046577374759903964,0.0,0.11126574521583604,0.045652491710391686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049722579812161036,0.038724493626868216,0.0,0.1723998751272476,0.0,0.046179969300589985,0.04576052127220143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907135322011548,0.0,0.03348406953040425,0.0,0.10539157746591236,0.0,0.09688466385829043,0.1709802050208107,0.0,0.043705903291273634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259641086450524,0.03464239146011438,0.0,0.10688487587047034,0.05057724782084834,0.0,0.0,0.06315647438450221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724751930419296,0.04634014216002162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04578975456249155,0.051025782260688185,0.0,0.04556175291520664,0.0,0.02918012903551078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05159862100036599,0.038898961432994136,0.12998380621240646,0.03622273224725157,0.0,0.0,0.07259399138172612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026749550607925,0.0,0.0,0.045582321844622006,0.0,0.03859388133918022,0.035066173935302695,0.0,0.10197770776984168,0.032240118584477895,0.09709925640919444,0.036375830916146885,0.03808136020046037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042929795509034335,0.0,0.0,0.10983271114267898,0.1592488260597916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030261015061647027,0.0291862333558675,0.08950416072204886,0.07232231358980122,0.0531204738908886,0.0,0.0,0.17409771635145846,0.050607088926114166,0.030925070714085894,0.0,0.08899034238257121,0.0,0.054790351838984584,0.039340079886641406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444954958466869,0.08220254548104564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707101732534593,0.0,0.0,0.08799701198876764
mentalhealth,mind_divide_matter,2019/01/15,"My mental health (road to recovery) has made me feel so fulfilled and empowered I have been stable for 2 years now from my last manic episode. I have felt the depths of darkness (suicide) and now I am conquering all the fears in my path. I am at the point where I am finally able to offer selfless support to others because I have put the work in, and continue to work hard to maintain my stability.

How do you all feel on your path to recovery?

Leave a comment on your stage in your recovery process.",7.306122448979592,6.329041857142857,7.466244897959182,76.44304081632656,64.10204081632654,11.105306122448981,37.967346938775506,10.355215969177356,3.7946710204081633,394,18,77,8,5,128,64,98,0.075,0.8390000000000001,0.086,0.4795,1,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,4,0,3,5,2,0,1,5,0,9,1,0,2,2,10,14,5,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,4,15,1,15,11,2,18,0,0,0,0,6,10,0,0,6,55,16,2,0.233542668739262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142365443198773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26280043105846684,0.2361723809732313,0.0,0.22423758637083965,0.25583457812839866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920835873530408,0.0,0.0,0.2482449359222981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036844554727,0.0,0.24728796529556746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22098371998658328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23535608026726415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22077330962023964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347748870008953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554577740917708,0.2650214528794779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340043688643886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15039382167091786
mentalhealth,Austintayeshus,2019/01/15,"[DISCUSSION] Better recollection of and more vivid dreams after going off SSRI and antipsychotic. In the last six months, I have gone down significantly on my SSRI (225mg > 75mg) and stopped my antipsychotic completely.  I'm now able to remember dreams (that I had previously forgotten) from literal years ago (some good, some bad) and I'm able to recall more recent dreams in very complete detail.  No more nightmares, either.

Prior to that, I had very troubled sleep for most of my adult life.  Before I was on the psych meds, I was a very heavy drinker, so most nights are were kind of blurry anyway.

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

(consider this a ""Transformation Tuesday"" post, of sorts)",5.21144428152493,7.796756669354843,5.649912023460412,74.633504398827,71.01612903225806,8.702639296187684,26.59530791788856,9.339509955726095,2.59963870967742,553,19,92,13,11,177,87,124,0.073,0.812,0.115,0.7495,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,0,8,2,1,0,1,14,12,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,2,3,0,2,1,2,0,1,6,2,8,3,16,6,8,21,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,5,12,58,12,1,0.35419154973575645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698471907276226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382948346948355,0.18145554956257276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786757471922024,0.0,0.0,0.15069546069241227,0.0,0.0,0.15662682133514502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713631011217077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794079546862052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019326729245031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064761003114857,0.14853953370704806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18441799729282227,0.0,0.1443566931755265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250879831334602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967134824936026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135615790729408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661923879167054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960879852972266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748607126885581,0.0,0.20061499016722198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772236713185248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14805999761341698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4383676837078048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404387270185845
mentalhealth,swisdom716,2019/01/15,"I’m feeling suicidal 6+ year relationship on the rocks, job stress, school stress, and issues with BP1 symptoms are hitting me at once. I feel confident that I might kill myself today. ",7.572352941176473,8.05341329411765,7.351764705882353,72.63294117647061,63.11764705882353,10.329411764705883,34.64705882352941,10.125756701596842,3.559164705882353,148,6,25,3,2,47,31,34,0.34,0.552,0.108,-0.9022,1,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,6,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,12,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24107778769272034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488208306138444,0.2365687195240771,0.0,0.26374703719602044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528977829101872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538812494154181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25594535457244616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412669038322531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5461577948567855,0.0,0.0,0.2607637471120348,0.0,0.0,0.2477820791258963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259691208683588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351756908098346
mentalhealth,linsjab,2019/01/15,"My friend doesn't want any help I hope I'm not breaking any rules here. Also, my first language is Spanish and I'm sorry for grammar mistakes. 
My friend who in the past was also kind of my girlfriend has been having mental health issues for a long time, a lot of traumas and her behavior (and a professional) suggest she has a personality disorder (it sounds to me like bpd but I could be wrong). 
The point is that after an history of self harm, not dealing with trauma, abandoning therapy after that appointment a few years ago and suicidal threats (including a few days ago) she seeks help by talking to me, she feels horrible because she got drunk and did tell her boyfriend she will kill herself and not tell anyone, and in general, she doesn't react well to regection and now she is super obsessed with the keto diet, to a point she doesn't eat if there's no food like that counts as keto (has eating issues not treated too, like she told me and her current boyfriend), and now she feels rage and gets really really mad about the pharmaceutical industry and doesn't trust doctors. I suggested psychotherapy because it works for me and as a future health profesional is something i believe in.
Today, after crying and telling me how hopeless she was, how crazy and undeserving of love she felt, she tells me that she sees no point of getting treatment and I'm kind of tired of trying, because I can't be her therapist, and she has many many issues and she gets mad at me very easily and I'm very worried for her, but she is an adult and she is free to decide, but after she threatened her boyfriend of killing herself and ""jokingly"" told me when we were dating, if I would care if she died, a little often. 
",8.320548780487805,7.09993129878049,8.126341463414636,73.31347560975611,62.23170731707317,11.004878048780489,36.65853658536585,9.978442167317967,3.512843902439025,1358,53,250,23,16,437,170,328,0.27,0.631,0.099,-0.9972,1,0,1,0,0,2,35.0,1,0,0,3,13,30,6,1,15,0,26,10,0,3,0,50,44,34,4,8,10,0,3,3,3,2,4,1,0,3,7,24,5,1,4,2,1,0,11,14,1,1,9,5,47,17,31,30,3,28,0,2,1,1,49,8,0,6,22,175,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275122974421846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682567239728314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485499212937468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418905238766819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678822199753908,0.0,0.0,0.10342774064824424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561953110693025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359674006394744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329523887533602,0.0,0.1008385517005836,0.05920373570768565,0.09464229682043196,0.0,0.0,0.09527443791899738,0.0,0.1052113398590816,0.09396171384890016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786968339022836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283419422530563,0.0,0.08814288766527589,0.0,0.0,0.07808546852457485,0.1110055433796307,0.0,0.14184969554357438,0.0,0.1438859356217396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342125550161206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19515930272533644,0.0,0.0,0.12306389610768545,0.0,0.0,0.09117862185143574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874476517009079,0.0,0.0,0.2031273300766532,0.19119221299788547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454727927196553,0.09200822978213026,0.0,0.08124056423655694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780455123987571,0.0828535461197015,0.0,0.0,0.18614262081003727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925133242828859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763397605158259,0.0,0.08015666607898429,0.0,0.0,0.2603434688754551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761951721729808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315312253078479,0.0,0.09576795485787974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067251902671218,0.0,0.10276315725179527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041486019098764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378577412244998,0.32095077468265715,0.0,0.10498188584991013,0.10658746983802768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352961672819277,0.10551118402651688,0.08701615132769126,0.17543864628710856,0.0,0.0623265216352378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149007288728858,0.05414632038700107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825396849950468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683186600094837,0.09322787593584536,0.0,0.06521244976735535,0.10036944867525266,0.0,0.05911651986464257
mentalhealth,fueledbyespresso,2019/01/15,"Everyday between therapy sessions I’m on the verge of multiple breakdowns. Crying everyday. Just a mess. And then the day of therapy, in the office, I’m fine and on my best behavior??? sorry if this has been posted already, i wasn’t sure how to search for this. 

Does anyone else feel this? Can anyone offer advice? Ive been in therapy for 4-5 months maybe. I go in on Friday and I’ll bring this up to her. I feel like the person I am in her office does not do justice to the person I am throughout the weeks when I don’t see her. 

i’ve started tracking my mood on an app but even then, i’m changing moods so fast i don’t always remember log my mood throughout the day",0.08513988808952888,2.4066156474820133,2.5324580335731426,90.66025379696244,90.36690647482014,5.391047162270183,20.671862509992007,6.937597516519254,0.6686735411670663,521,18,108,8,18,178,82,139,0.053,0.8809999999999999,0.065,0.3658,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,9,0,11,0,0,1,1,12,20,10,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,3,3,14,4,17,17,1,24,0,0,1,0,6,10,0,1,12,68,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548157034089584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748311521365546,0.0,0.1318262310306368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215555087218401,0.1623299858294424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626223250572966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759765255762749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402762456957946,0.2043481449722982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772858574104612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234771430198802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464134575661913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602136685563623,0.11318223431329705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003926939412556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740076590788131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591639631740039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645710293959733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27666946729981423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173189207081456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17947000568196422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624798679854682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734911745759022,0.11213738184015436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931815026369227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5435346276553731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708277705299062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,showmikshikder,2019/01/15,Is there a way to be happy and lonely at the same time? I don't know what's wrong with me.... Don't wanna hangout with people around me.... Also I've got nobody to love....probably no one likes me also(may b for being a loser)......I  Just need some solutions......(i know there are people in way worse condition than me and coping up... But somehow I'm failing to do so)  what do i do? ,-1.2061814345991522,0.8426178227848098,1.7648417721519003,94.13519514767931,98.62025316455696,4.658649789029536,15.444092827004221,6.42735559955562,-0.2530008438818569,284,7,63,4,12,99,57,79,0.14400000000000002,0.742,0.114,-0.3412,0,2,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,0,0,14,14,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,6,2,12,11,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,2,2,45,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074267566838339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22677026184621285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20373674107710352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711726613127832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799939871230262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244518090044524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299104170554377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888452799773348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261663082759018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35320562821233786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148539405772882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4043973257544546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595991372287137,0.0,0.27851531871928553,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mrthereverend,2019/01/15,"When self-help fails, and when is it time to see a therapist? I wrote a post about signs that it's time for professional help - https://nerd-mind.com/signs-its-really-time-to-see-a-therapist/ - but I also wanted to see what you all thought. As a therapist, I see too many articles that recommend therapy to people who probably don't need it or wouldn't benefit from it. As someone with an anxiety issue that ebbs and floes, I'm always wondering when it's time to actually get in front of someone. What do you all think?",7.7900362318840575,9.17630025,7.705217391304347,67.13036231884058,62.80434782608695,11.35072463768116,31.63768115942029,11.20814326018867,3.732646376811596,421,15,73,12,6,135,61,92,0.086,0.856,0.058,-0.3464,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,1,6,2,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,2,15,15,10,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,3,5,1,12,12,2,9,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,2,6,47,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.1427201352914735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169570818556493,0.12169276642086747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188181557552557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641024840603139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605827694214628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264832087506855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827582522487712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476720836694103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844345806890474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139221072994777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006828198007626,0.0,0.1576835971902005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4661732842839087,0.0,0.152571963098579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24783644038173155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672510646978051,0.5094269645529685,0.0,0.09371190370175923,0.0,0.1161071660734421,0.3411211493554378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626278391628027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860325561978406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bittc111,2019/01/15,"Why attach myself to any thoughts at all? If bad thoughts and good thoughts come from the same place, why even hold on to anything at all? 
   
I’ve dealt with a lot of issues throughout my life and have tried tons of ways to combat/cope with it. I’ve been to therapy and done work on my own and whatnot. I’ve gone out of my comfort zone as much as possible, taken in new information (but not too much because I want to avoid being a self-help junkie), and so on. I’ve turned my life around in a lot of ways. However, last year I started to develop an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and weed (funnily enough, my relationship with hard drugs is fine because I respect their effects and danger a lot more). It almost costed me my job and future career, which I realized I truly had lost control. I started to notice that my brain was trying to trick me in any way it could into getting drunk or high all the time. That it wasn't actually me who wanted it. I have controlled this by setting limits on myself and sticking to it.  
  
 I’ve been in a decent place, but I wanted to combat one more thing. My real addiction. I’ve been addicted for masturbation and porn for years so I decided that maybe tackling that is something I need to do, which I found out I am successful at stopping despite it being incredibly challenging. I think as a result of that and other experiences within the past few months, it’s built a skill/mindset where I’ve started to notice when I’m feeling something and I’m able to detach from it instead of being consumed by it. I’m not yet at a point where I feel 100% in control but I’m getting better at it. I’m noticing all sorts of thoughts and patterns and whatnot that lead to my mind going into a state of panic or depression or regret or whatever it may be. Not only have I realized just how frequently I put myself in a horrible place, but also I’ve realized that they aren’t really based on anything other than preexisting patterns and the way my brain is wired, therefore I don’t have to engage in them. This sounds good on paper, but I’m a little confused by something. I’ve also realized that my brain *really* enjoys indulging in feelings or states of mind in general, even positive ones. I’m wondering, why even keep any thoughts at all? The basis for all negative thoughts is the same as the one for positive thoughts. They are thoughts. It’s all basically connect-the-dots but neurologically; this thing triggers this thought which triggers this feeling which triggers this reaction. Even the “thinking part” of me that decides whether thoughts are beneficial to indulge in or not is equally as arbitrary as the thoughts they are judging. As is the part of me that’s trying to calibrate new ways to use/practice this skill. It’s just another thought. Me “giving in” to my positive thoughts is still training my brain to “give in” to all my thoughts. Why even have a personality? An opinion on anything? I’ve noticed certain ‘positive’ aspects of my personality and energy are based in what one would call negative (like, seeking approval, insecurity, etc). But there has been positives to that. I’ve gotten a lot of confidence and fulfillment with the mind I have, and I’ve made and sustained several rewarding friendships, but also still deal with certain states of mind.  
  
So as it sounds, I’m all confused by this and I feel like I might be turning into (more of) a weirdo. I’ve pushed this thought aside but it’s something that keeps coming up and I feel it may need attention. My fear is that I lose my personality which has helped me out a lot. The only answer I’ve come up with is that now is a training period and I’ll eventually and hopefully be able to retain just enough to not go overboard but enough to feel content. Basically, the line between negative emotion that only serves to hurt, negative emotion that has a positive to it, and positive emotion are all blending together as they all come from the same basic need which is to indulge in feelings. In short, I don't know who I am anymore and it's scaring me.",5.736523194643707,6.642029697047497,6.423541493619273,76.21455611769741,67.17715019255456,9.396068363160412,34.65833522112311,9.528655866942456,3.3270623524377663,3230,151,585,64,51,1060,305,779,0.103,0.7709999999999999,0.126,0.9644,3,1,6,0,0,0,81.0,0,0,6,15,27,31,2,7,33,0,50,13,4,12,13,170,115,60,0,11,26,0,9,2,0,4,7,2,0,3,57,43,2,10,38,1,1,10,13,15,0,4,29,11,58,16,110,75,34,86,0,5,0,1,19,47,0,22,22,423,115,7,0.0900815804578946,0.0,0.04395331405135139,0.09820221923977804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048134906975758326,0.04510184528562191,0.0,0.0,0.10805731101989956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188784561057864,0.047229195733896584,0.0,0.0,0.04466836108574522,0.0,0.0,0.11119419790314047,0.040095852505821414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03760717848610628,0.0549128953401315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039834918756509775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011216711166943,0.04599168268599707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519461039246346,0.0,0.0,0.15155122841368274,0.035961405995357215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464350769915825,0.038793566625275874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04609236623257,0.0,0.0,0.05223301716107937,0.0,0.0,0.15199448004881513,0.0,0.13961752940597744,0.050232387100475666,0.14874508578205056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044058535493946616,0.0,0.050683411092627466,0.1821918149126303,0.032177149539135384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049384901692445166,0.0,0.0,0.047063907809127684,0.08641446029776359,0.0511954381050578,0.07555615579644523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040347701132332985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060379784542705726,0.04758806778786416,0.0,0.044735667538699966,0.0,0.0,0.04821709749586904,0.0,0.0,0.04701088303434494,0.044696034394285766,0.08006864770958283,0.0,0.0,0.02475324039140365,0.03671425555078403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362728430624114,0.04400931001534243,0.045142704449561484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050389123278241785,0.04916734313582245,0.19146034589375108,0.0,0.04261868475537735,0.0,0.0,0.04524952767865332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04778116069585401,0.18191343378096705,0.0,0.035951129046541686,0.0,0.06622032655604361,0.10019152573495116,0.0,0.08700135174009213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20511695281601647,0.0,0.0,0.12208322049579125,0.10276665175456236,0.0,0.052845662753281834,0.0,0.09754957324996744,0.04299653074517557,0.0,0.11798364217094925,0.14117411803716468,0.0,0.04257810523633854,0.05077672348004919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04527843452982865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512662799644251,0.05770856711202407,0.0,0.0,0.09671390532139584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04509368844856089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04698736724014077,0.05088327260748022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386984032486409,0.0,0.0,0.09564030944317188,0.0,0.07193926651679584,0.03765611742448145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05150806897059255,0.0,0.059846199324130586,0.05772063942262112,0.0,0.5363603450504117,0.026263646990939426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173922003100612,0.09798289196118537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03890078137707752,0.0,0.0,0.07969867513100615,0.17875641403760648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256923013942715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884481569181644,0.032790231719896236,0.0,0.0,0.03199568509524082,0.0,0.0,0.058009584374255574
mentalhealth,Kane0043,2019/01/15,"[23M] Been feeling weird lately I've always been very anxious in social situations but overall pretty happy when I'm around other people as long as I'm not getting too much attention.

Now I'm lying more in general.
I used to be able to listen to others bit now I just sort of tune out and care very little about what they're feeling or thinking about.
I just can't seem to be able put myself in other people's shoes anymore.
I feel like like I'm getting dumber and as hypocritical(?) as it might seem I feel guilty as hell about my recent lapse in empathy.
Im so fucking disgusted by my own behaviour.

Then I stop and wonder whether what I'm thinking is real or not or if I'm trying to convince myself I'm an asshole in order to justify pushing people away because I deserve being lonely.
I just don't know anymore.",2.9697160068846813,4.76281696987952,5.028261617900173,80.13132530120481,75.08433734939759,6.670567986230638,26.917383820998282,7.447530270364453,1.6688998278829603,651,25,118,8,14,225,102,166,0.175,0.6859999999999999,0.139,-0.8318,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,13,10,3,0,1,0,9,2,1,1,0,33,32,17,0,1,11,0,4,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,11,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,2,5,12,5,24,26,4,20,1,1,0,1,2,9,2,9,10,75,18,0,0.28083388447911833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683814451002715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863117663713522,0.27851175108743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500084871373707,0.0,0.0,0.13192633947715082,0.0,0.0,0.08559686468629725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329893325640642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316443091186132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839961002134619,0.10031389159257276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298132004520095,0.14672411364920845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947644605644206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167439328698912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716947923457616,0.0,0.1583964269777238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720125048906415,0.14073466497836168,0.0,0.12426457521852563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489601858107905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322260912652337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920422828211431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428545110595967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115781037044225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598252214494949,0.0,0.0,0.13864479043543196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556606210467285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578345263165178,0.0,0.14313738949072638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739485116673655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994701359896728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533388657049673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212751540089149,0.0,0.2317173659989368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227618407306978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iaendn,2019/01/15,"How do I help my friend I have a friend that has had the worst two years on earth. She broke her lease when one of her roommates unexpectedly moved out and had to move back in with her abusive mother and sister. She has since been diagnosed with epilepsy on top of already having bpd and bpi. She was raped early last year and the police did nothing about it. She has also been stalked by her abusive ex for the past two years. He keeps finding her and leaving threatening letters and contacting her family. Her epilepsy is not under control even though she’s on meds for it and her family thinks she’s exaggerating to get attention. They don’t supervise her and she’ll fall and wake up with cuts and bloody noses or fall down the stairs and her mom doesn’t really care. Yesterday she was hit by a car while walking down the street. The car drove off and she now has kidney failure. No broken bones or anything and she is back home with her mom. This morning she confirmed she was raped again by a different guy. She was also just broken up with and is telling me that she doesn’t want to live anymore and she has posted goodbyes on all her socials. 

I called the police to do a wellness check on her. She lives 40 minutes from me or I would have gone myself. Her mother does not care or check on her and I’m afraid she might hurt herself of do something worse. 

I want to help her. I myself have been diagnosed with bpii, bpd, and gad and have been hospitalized after a suicide attempt. I know what it feels to not want to be here but I have not been through everything she has. What do I do? I won’t stand by and watch her deteriorate. 

I offered to pick her up and take her out tonight but I literally just got a message from her telling me to not talk to her so i’m assuming the wellness check just happened. I don’t want her to shut me out right now when she’s at her worst. Please help me",2.8489477451682177,4.739239850393705,3.5001288475304237,90.53211166785972,75.69291338582677,6.507945597709378,24.406346933905983,7.348242739294969,0.9169223097112856,1497,49,317,18,33,471,181,381,0.109,0.812,0.079,-0.9162,1,0,1,0,0,2,25.0,0,0,1,3,20,14,3,1,14,0,41,8,4,3,1,60,60,34,1,5,14,6,1,0,2,4,2,0,1,1,8,29,0,2,6,0,3,9,11,8,2,3,15,3,65,6,49,39,3,51,0,2,1,2,66,23,0,6,17,234,73,1,0.0,0.2366020947739333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101824174646846,0.15969343710785927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902028901742654,0.0,0.0,0.08216465633840332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355064564795284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25150479501030903,0.0,0.1019538125256745,0.0,0.20359906927528865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198565064626832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20268294406823176,0.0,0.10431769922478316,0.0,0.0,0.08737580724283425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659472656979164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973504377956316,0.0,0.18825162956957397,0.0,0.05048507973749949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125733047816023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542813669040343,0.0,0.05216535418216354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985587572247828,0.0,0.0,0.09886312438397106,0.08829338679370323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007737771512952,0.0,0.10015356408349478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068870854799738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874761066583607,0.0,0.0,0.054872687470434715,0.08138772292808512,0.0,0.10572237612734024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17633149230017278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090627013699368,0.0,0.0,0.10592070599163847,0.0,0.23387658869169245,0.0,0.21224074985485128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580481998715967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765815604061456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531419549871582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096007991125734,0.0,0.0,0.09562475834852907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639638309456328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526784066077292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259354825717173,0.0,0.0,0.1017803063693521,0.0,0.07686624067968569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092151930843171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750716799155614,0.0802523406628459,0.17453940960958275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397721182255968,0.09809807554978256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950698439004736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23556676072143234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795468841306382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175148738809632,0.07092765233449252,0.0,0.0,0.1928924300410253
mentalhealth,caughtinthemiddle98,2019/01/15,NHS Mental Health Services Experience I was wondering how have your experiences been in regards to the UK NHS Mental Health Services? Were they positive or negative? Would you use them again? ,5.678437500000001,9.348804968750002,5.598750000000003,69.17125000000001,77.4375,9.45,33.0,9.516144504307137,4.4804125,157,8,22,5,4,49,28,32,0.115,0.787,0.098,-0.163,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,2,0,5,7,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,17,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5079222327869651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5519342270587577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5232778496095931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22423091817154844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815500738746055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442873362593012,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dfcobhc21,2019/01/15,"Is it wrong for me to leave someone due to their mental health Mind you im a male

Does that make me heartless?

I've dated her for months and after awhile she got crazy and started cutting her arms and almost wanting to abuse me

She has depression i think because her mother and father passed away , and shes too stubborn to ever get a psychiatric evaluation 

So i left her, but the thing that fucks me up so much, is my Ex did the same thing to me,she left me because of my messed up mental state(I've recovered and on a good path)

Thoughts?",3.8768119266055048,5.1155078165137615,4.2301720183486236,89.00195527522936,71.75229357798165,6.917889908256881,26.469036697247706,7.1686216300943375,1.1090633027522934,428,14,89,4,8,134,73,109,0.195,0.772,0.033,-0.9278,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,4,8,4,0,5,0,5,3,1,1,1,16,13,9,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,3,0,18,1,13,10,2,13,0,1,0,1,13,6,1,1,6,58,23,0,0.0,0.21637258824614752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18286564943897266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17157571770151406,0.0,0.0,0.22264459924766508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728870315748786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598103311916357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518852781524113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882749209108167,0.09541042070617577,0.0,0.0,0.15317139921139525,0.14605637818417935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941145021987988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972588869538373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933662014282854,0.39683020304572414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189900074860695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680721879848575,0.0,0.18439222386226245,0.0,0.14576402627268928,0.0,0.13424531684950974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473172471243765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925803211312206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426467040662335,0.1170143055922289,0.0,0.14497837388517776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771288768757063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996642260295918,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,weirdodobird_Extinct,2019/01/15,"I Don't Know My friend is severely depressed. I don't know how to talk to her, because she's scared to talk to anyone about it. 

I rlly care for her. She's told me that her family sucks and has been having suicidal thoughts.

I don't want to lose a friend. ",1.1116363636363644,2.7838132545454566,2.860000000000003,94.15000000000002,80.0909090909091,6.581818181818183,20.090909090909093,7.554174236665415,0.4043818181818182,199,5,47,3,5,66,37,55,0.359,0.5539999999999999,0.086,-0.9453,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,1,1,0,7,0,0,1,0,6,14,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,11,3,7,11,0,0,0,2,0,0,10,0,1,0,0,30,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303929062201687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150857605630022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523158218224496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131486434539125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233296079364875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38239496890477226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720100299867059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27685964983150924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477642392097472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795747200958197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706959446981285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978198006424545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964663901694116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364716238359708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14596633726531136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Only_mostly_Kidding,2019/01/15,"Help with close friend without insurance I have a family member who is currently being held at a psychiatric ward, he has been in and released twice this month and is exhibiting g paranoia and delusions, I am worried that the keep letting him go because he has no insurance and also he doesn’t know what follow up options he has, he seems to be deteriorating and I was hoping you folks could point me to some resources I can investigate to keep his treatment and medication continuous.   I also am having trouble helping him recognize how serious his condition is.

While I and a few other family members have depression and som bi-polar but his state is way beyond anything I have any experience with.  I am in New Jersey and would appreciate any help, advice or resources you. Can suggest.

Thanks ",9.781073891625617,8.804391737931036,9.98512315270936,60.368620689655174,59.206896551724135,12.97536945812808,42.093596059113295,12.031772070788634,5.374773399014778,642,31,100,17,7,215,99,145,0.069,0.8059999999999999,0.126,0.8847,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,24,1,0,1,0,26,33,15,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,12,0,3,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,3,0,16,3,11,25,2,16,0,1,0,0,18,7,0,5,5,79,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17547920936582015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872131035012805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442351476523475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777542754703205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946762609594986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337651369504298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466821117190244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565940604343788,0.3385758096704515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387396720974786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205695841732663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610972415751204,0.0,0.0,0.17835910115270212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192301092554249,0.0,0.0,0.09869005985007856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836282295231214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809035364160582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333553996079068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17343524472960006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975699696822252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16347889244991132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165329096454965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425387619641376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310448145153676,0.0,0.0,0.1823677504293313,0.0,0.12756536223395534,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JoeyJTB85Z,2019/01/15,"My psychiatrist is probably going to die soon. What do i do? Need to find another in NJ I've been seeing the same psychiatrist for about six years now and he keeps having major health problems. I'm sure at some point he's either going to drop dead or become so disabled that he can't practice. He is treating me for bipolar 2, clinical depression and anxiety. He has me on and unconventional group of medications which another doctor might be hesitant to prescribe. How might be a good way to proceed? Anybody know of any good psychiatrists in central New Jersey area? it doesn't matter if they take insurance as my doctor does not end I've dealt with it since most of the ones who do are useless",3.8369154228855713,6.122100477611941,5.232164179104476,77.4396393034826,74.07462686567162,8.34726368159204,28.33084577114428,9.075114841892004,2.655200995024875,560,23,100,13,12,187,100,134,0.16899999999999998,0.7759999999999999,0.055,-0.9404,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,15,6,0,1,1,21,23,8,2,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,2,1,1,6,4,17,18,5,16,0,2,1,0,8,6,0,6,6,63,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391628591029206,0.3513092201989538,0.1281489007437278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18500771125754645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428085666172555,0.0,0.17385464409267154,0.0,0.0,0.3429184296721149,0.14659394492328234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483690137959288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310613429621067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19040584069827216,0.2810081112076762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17806114555897015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889547531004269,0.0,0.0,0.09206213915114457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687542450351047,0.0,0.3554149513542112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421062236872267,0.0,0.1617875159693355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113512839688724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835629546187266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061004410140524,0.16028971223124802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348816702198835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857055455385514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578813784462149,0.0,0.12595081016253068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296600851502946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787449126493824
mentalhealth,TheProfessor_Reddit,2019/01/15,"What’s normal and not normal about hallucinations? TL;DR: Basically I’m just asking about what’s normal about hallucinations and what’s not.

So I’d like to ask some questions about hallucinations. I guess you could say that I’ve been in kinda denial because see things that aren’t there is one of the last things that I ever thought that’d I’d experience. Basically occasionally (Maybe a few times a month but not too often. I can’t really tell you how often or when this happens. I’m yet to identify a cause) I’ll see something. Most of the time it’s like a spider or other creature except it’s very vague. I never quite see it but it’ll say run across a wall or the floor or just be in the corner of my room or on a wall. I’m fully aware that this doesn’t exist and I never clearly see it. Is this normal to experience this? Could this just be me overthinking stuff?

That type of stuff I can live with but what confuses and concerns me is other stuff that’s happened very rarely. In terms of visual stuff, sometimes I’ll think I’ll see the outline of a figure. This I’d presume is just again overthinking. As far as I know it’s mostly normal but I still feel like I should mention it. Another time I sort of saw a claw or a hand morph through a wall. This was very, very strange. It was weird. Kinda like you know in a dream how you see stuff but it’s kinda vague so in your dream you sort of tell yourself what you’re seeing. It was like that except I was fully awake and t was the middle of the day. That’s really all I can think in terms of visual stuff.

In terms of audio, asides from normal stuff like occasionally hearing your name. Sometimes I’ll hear random words. This is very very rare though so it may be normal. Other times I’ll hear stuff that just sounds off. Like a door closing or a tap dripping. I can hear it, bit for long but I’d assume that it’s really but it just doesn’t sound quite right. I’m not sure if that makes any sense. The last thing but most obvious sign that I’ve encountered (Which I should note has only happened once) was very clearly hearing a voice saying I’ll die if I stay home alone. It was weird to say the least and scared me quite a bit but that was a while ago.

What I want to know is how much of this is actually normal and what not? I understand that our brains are very complex so experiencing hallucinations does happen to everyone but I honestly don’t know what’s normal and what’s not normal. I’m not sure if age is a factor but I’m in my late teens and I have never taken drugs in my life. I apologise for the long post but thank you for reading.",2.1002063618743603,4.033379683426446,3.5384577965264334,89.2131045490822,78.05027932960894,6.320358758028353,19.897731159502907,7.290443533043144,0.3559788621593887,2058,48,443,26,49,676,209,537,0.105,0.847,0.048,-0.9785,1,1,2,0,0,0,45.0,1,8,0,3,27,15,0,2,27,0,38,4,2,5,10,110,77,43,1,18,37,0,2,7,0,4,2,13,3,0,63,11,0,0,14,3,0,1,15,4,0,1,12,24,35,11,44,55,13,50,0,0,8,0,25,22,0,27,32,279,98,3,0.0,0.0,0.04758434861805027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043224271670845665,0.0,0.0,0.05050237657276262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03315960258944282,0.051130854709299664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911711441410006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02972465685338904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647021251858392,0.0,0.0,0.05443414176847141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500916593765954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786443942220589,0.0,0.0,0.03144723834258902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050606907172007484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04267165942807071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654804766397323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04410771536355644,0.0,0.04659385812689236,0.0,0.09539652505362052,0.0,0.0,0.02465536166974006,0.03483534141285707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371646865106577,0.0,0.172479108343611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747896874767083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04891192324210355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719253786732286,0.07949452609373743,0.05500527917665023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034441804257475415,0.16675739665890602,0.0,0.0430574413176224,0.08630507369492782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032548788340405733,0.0,0.048987643965767186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038921093771552714,0.0,0.03584543250552718,0.0,0.11282400047805036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4777607614107489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05192957912390557,0.03304216445259956,0.03708544159442825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04670019367946539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05462422159906268,0.15559209069113036,0.048774858070121455,0.0,0.09371390877938617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04164219332167486,0.0,0.1551089245894256,0.048818930675014575,0.0,0.2719971225738207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037539110050038,0.09645306203407784,0.0,0.0,0.05197344424924559,0.038941126637944544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.446563499236926,0.0,0.0,0.09191457961810033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523968451516026,0.04489318746802088,0.0,0.0,0.09718524553499046,0.062489008804521136,0.047908085802008636,0.038711313272014526,0.11373327007271194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050762610305478094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218678261888333,0.028760891896947707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iliveanddie,2019/01/15,"Laying in bed I have work tomorrow, so I know I need to fall asleep at a certain point so that I'm not nodding off on the job.

at a certain point I turn off the tv, put down my phone and get comfortable trying to get to sleep. I close my eyes and my mind starts to wander

I start thinking about my girlfriend from high school 3 years back and every time she would fall asleep on me when I tried to show her the star wars saga. I didnt mind in the least. I think about what I did, how much I hurt her, every guy she slept with and every date gone horribly wrong ending in arguments, weeping, and making up. 

my leg starts to ache and I start stretching it out. it's like I'm tweaking out on a tab despite having been clean for months. I feel like screaming into my pillow or just giving up on sleep altogether.

I start thinking about another ex-girlfriend, and her new boyfriend that I saw coming from a mile away. I had to let her go, because I already knew what would happen with him, and in my mind had already happened. I dont stop thinking about it.

a couple hours go by and I'm no more asleep than when I started, the entire time mulling over the worst memories I have in my possession from the last 5 years of my life.

I realize I forgot to take my meds. as I go to swallow I think to myself, ""I'll remember tomorrow."" 
I don't ",3.529788329519448,4.254439358695652,4.440480549199084,89.09948512585814,72.07971014492753,7.4047292143401995,26.12051868802441,7.475848149327749,1.1274594202898554,1037,32,228,11,19,336,152,276,0.123,0.8140000000000001,0.063,-0.9522,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,11,11,1,0,12,0,13,10,8,2,2,41,47,16,1,3,3,0,1,2,1,2,1,1,3,1,7,16,1,2,10,2,0,8,5,6,0,0,10,4,44,5,45,34,4,57,0,2,2,0,11,27,0,1,24,144,51,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211777619430215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508334486441984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415455617102694,0.07705854738621426,0.0,0.061089656819937874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632567478417769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088512553468448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745031652783627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876005152999901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533044012872801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067131945727218,0.07159305699013231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471558488607348,0.09613460902347463,0.17086214769112898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922783096018843,0.17723820310677105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588182290799604,0.0,0.0,0.09869081759911262,0.0,0.10728139249009673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994471475396263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507511309778454,0.08168796265811779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247582709236548,0.07078426549131915,0.09791920928834004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668937683428119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131540394006473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30356337537243644,0.0,0.07999003229164907,0.0,0.07366898064208384,0.0743075724503036,0.0,0.09678751571470508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946965522906573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074296791813032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352317280856784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142213826960736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057318197500187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42559283358465455,0.0,0.0,0.08378357310734169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534861973031531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210661204362256,0.0,0.0,0.11687143222578734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607775086731294,0.1090042913792484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295714386965726,0.0,0.0,0.14237860962021398,0.1095685149209312,0.0,0.12906934080748175
mentalhealth,Yuh_Digg,2019/01/15,Delete your instagram I have been off that fake ass bullshit for over 5 months and it feels amazing. Just a suggestion if you need to clear your head,5.309655172413795,6.489111862068968,4.306379310344827,90.01405172413793,68.3103448275862,8.558620689655173,28.29310344827586,8.841846274778883,1.8538827586206896,120,4,25,2,2,35,28,29,0.275,0.556,0.16899999999999998,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,6,4,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,1,4,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,2,1,1,1,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32005483349230657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6496223813611955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5052403754304402,0.0,0.0,0.469348301613769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1152019,2019/01/15,"Unintentional suicide prevention post The very first thing I want to mention is that I am using a throwaway account. I'm not using my primary account because I don't want this conversation to follow me into the future (meaning I'm not suicidal). However it would be cool if this random post eventually helped someone, and I suppose I should mention that that suicide hotline number in the United States is 1-800-273-8255. 

  

As a sidebar, the closest thing I can compare suicide to is wanting to lose your virginity (albeit on the complete other end of the emotional spectrum); you don't care how it happens, you just have this burning desire for it to happen now. HOWEVER, I implore suicidal individuals to join me on a thought experiment. Pretend like you pulled the trigger (or whatever), tomorrow doesn't matter, right? Well then don't pull the trigger. Do whatever the fuck makes you happy tomorrow. Your alternative plans were to be dead, so who gives a shit if you skipped work today to spend the day in the park... The whole ""selfish"" thing doesn't affect me. Thats not why I'm still alive. But I need help.

   

I was planning on writing a completely different post. I wouldn't be surprised if the mods delete this, but if not, I hope it helps at least one person see the sunshine tomorrow. I'll write up my post tomorrow, but for now I'm going to take my dog for a walk. 

​",5.652528735632185,6.91714699233717,6.476494252873567,74.45543103448277,67.5823754789272,9.171647509578543,35.5727969348659,9.444778638647367,3.533116475095785,1099,55,190,22,18,363,153,261,0.127,0.779,0.093,-0.8688,3,0,0,0,0,4,43.0,0,7,0,5,7,12,2,0,20,1,20,3,1,7,0,38,43,13,6,13,13,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,17,2,0,1,2,1,3,5,10,4,1,2,3,3,24,8,22,34,2,33,0,1,2,2,18,10,2,7,14,128,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024998274242928,0.12364176109921153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620280499229232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374457639696012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337342664508524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562265392913287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631085451719367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445910398131365,0.09012348724910732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995345454732258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865515599080206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406956326965436,0.0,0.0976113247027216,0.057828915611479126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996074430341144,0.1083185989611882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046098789775448,0.0,0.0,0.10106428379848498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971166903140983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383625048052795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792131791688487,0.0,0.0,0.11083950014279484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544900484846677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689508725478729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884731842236436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898072848070297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689701815556435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108444486299463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444860783428464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621549480701131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812605561459292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5565096138688437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650604356857323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20280171076654951,0.0,0.0,0.08078099215953327,0.0,0.0,0.09645051476170373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576487958628242,0.0,0.0839573762360668,0.18005072831058805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148870622950314,0.0,0.09181679695233703,0.11360426021357906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740778324474731,0.0,0.0,0.0722828377601615,0.0,0.12364176109921153,0.0
mentalhealth,hello-there-my-love,2019/01/15,"I need help deciding what to do about my suicidal friend. My friend had texted me after I got home from work saying that he was cutting himself because he felt alone and thought he had no one to talk to. He told me not to tell anyone and made me promise not to. He said he won’t do it again but I feel like I’m only hurting him by not saying anything. But on the other hand I’m scared he’ll lose his trust in me. 
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mentalhealth,Jgrigg17,2019/01/15,"Politics and needing to be able to breath again. I had a bad breakdown tied to work back in 2013. I'd been working full time since graduating high school in 2005, climbing the ladder at a religious conference center/missionary training center. The reasons behind the burn out were complex and I'm not going to go into them. I ended up going to college, getting married, and becoming a dad. I also worked. I was mostly doing fine. Then the primaries hit and my social circles started to fall apart as things got divided. A bunch of my beliefs had changed and things progressively got toxic with people I knew. Over the last two years I feel worse then when I got burned out at work. I've fail two semesters of college, dropped out. Struggled to maintain work, and almost committed suicide three times. Everyday I try to disconnect myself from politics but I cant seem to get away. Comments made by people around me, news, making the mistake of going on FB. I just want to get healthy again. Figure out how to be a healthy Dad. Figure out a degree to pursue again. Figure out how to love myself and not see myself as a failure. Be able to rebuild a friend group, 'cause let me tell you it sucks coming from a country background and trying to find new friends when you've more or less been disowned by your old ones. I just cant get over this feeling of loss and losing faith in everything I trusted. I want to start over but feel stuck.",4.08849254205014,6.136287233576642,4.473605204696924,84.20749444620758,72.64963503649635,6.66302761028245,28.70136464614408,7.423996415210882,1.7658389717549987,1138,46,205,13,23,358,166,274,0.105,0.767,0.127,0.809,0,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,2,1,10,12,13,1,1,15,0,13,2,1,6,1,51,43,21,1,4,7,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,19,0,0,12,0,0,7,4,7,0,4,12,4,23,6,47,26,5,49,2,3,1,1,12,23,1,4,18,138,27,10,0.22146310841984534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088165640137156,0.0,0.0,0.08855198389546654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857455969962002,0.0,0.0,0.10403594024008887,0.08514573013650056,0.09245622250517617,0.0,0.12229430188848055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375180858401332,0.11713930187397882,0.0953854291099687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807529016342736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951838091204554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796760275841224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120663447662256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711018482021794,0.0,0.2314106671933064,0.0,0.2517251762686689,0.0,0.2656864182649842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699396660697788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902609958247532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323051647197555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388028512628332,0.0,0.0,0.0999395509229742,0.10477687397040082,0.07391417227973346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210604437222893,0.0,0.10694522506793198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619413909096553,0.0,0.07503456688779109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353463457245795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385048004211135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206624453597926,0.08823871224265561,0.10080584816638573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091598285910756,0.0,0.0,0.11287687476357727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675272800392998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576066285822575,0.0,0.12112234784715208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678425907028934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471302486264724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913691947875278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035891339684135,0.0,0.2163372770779418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062467925730986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4030694513563466,0.0,0.1128449138012452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130749043457775
mentalhealth,Menetone,2019/01/15,"Brother is crazy. Need help please My brother has lost it completely. He thinks that every twitch streamer and their chat that he's watching can see him. Whenever the streamer reacts to anything or when the chat reacts he believes it's directed at him. He talks to his computer monitor at night for hours saying he'll sue them if they keep watching him. I've explained to him how that's impossible but he can't understand anymore. He's unable to realize how absurd he sounds. He believes chat and the streamer can see him through his phone when it's on. Whenever his phone is off he's completely fine with twitch.

 I've asked him to go through a test which he agreed on in which I take his phone while he's watching any twitch stream and keep it off. I then would turn it on without him knowing when and he said he'd be able to tell when his phone is on and when twitch and chat is ""watching him"" without seeing his phone. He failed to discern when the phone was on 5 times in a row and left still believing he's right. He thinks im crazy, and that the whole family is crazy for not seeing how they are ""obviously"" watching him. He refuses to go to a therapist. What can I do? Is it impossible to help him?",2.9578138528138567,4.883842805785125,3.7274262101534847,88.86395316804409,75.48760330578511,7.254151908697362,26.39984258166077,8.11559375814309,1.5715743408107041,957,36,199,16,21,304,111,242,0.06,0.888,0.052000000000000005,-0.4625,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,4,2,10,3,0,0,8,0,17,4,0,5,1,33,37,22,0,3,6,2,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,13,9,0,3,7,4,0,2,4,2,0,0,3,12,25,1,28,30,1,27,0,2,9,0,59,13,0,2,12,115,38,3,0.12780916785765084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691461690631798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675235116689915,0.0,0.0,0.10517605509998088,0.0,0.11948431897746264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319914952193515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680109616551394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768473628428006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048710873154653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527379091386414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133558222670267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586628514347215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380558334495819,0.0,0.0,0.22720532173683314,0.0,0.0,0.07024057615606435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388650348419157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951880462173494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476887850236254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199402460039306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402960859349219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109148331013005,0.12157578663756788,0.10163898016477567,0.0,0.0,0.4073894370952096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206856654895256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609658818175798,0.10272816779874748,0.11171084612469484,0.0,0.0,0.14839629477348465,0.0,0.16378990811034766,0.0,0.0,0.07452655359189769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901967330267576,0.0,0.13305385117220947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269437158454765,0.0,0.2464069538679689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079196582190488,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Legendary-Sharts,2019/01/15,"Finding therapy without the help of my parents? I turned 18 last August, so this isn’t some newly adult scheme to fix my fake mental illnesses, but where would I go to find help without going through my parents? I’ve had therapists before and even a hypnotherapist, but that was when I was much younger. It’s nearly impossible for me to talk to trusted people because I know them. I know whatever I tell them they will remember whether they find it embarrassing or not and I’m not at all comfortable with it. I just want to be able to do things on my own therapy wise without my parents is this even possible? Thanks in advance.",4.832883379247015,6.392581801652894,5.549201101928379,79.22359963269055,69.82644628099176,9.014141414141417,33.2791551882461,9.444778638647367,3.1912582185491285,502,24,93,11,9,163,85,121,0.125,0.769,0.106,-0.1429,3,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,4,1,6,6,0,1,2,0,9,1,0,0,1,23,17,8,0,2,10,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,6,0,0,3,6,2,0,0,3,0,17,4,17,11,4,11,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,2,3,70,24,0,0.13909726352083054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847924007881753,0.0,0.11836152625867878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374486139594534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3813971366959189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581043607131675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646792738707246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288843664668594,0.11338283483393227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017732560346371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225249342407834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4633531502656785,0.0,0.0,0.09643252854652816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15681126487184685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757008417810844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118011115073472,0.12157713927727025,0.12806207194324967,0.3181396865655783,0.16150264386833355,0.09241004116262932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129787992594698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204316991041483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022543950099697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881070510974116,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InspiredLife008,2019/01/15,"Control your breathing to control anxiety and stress Anxiety, stress, and depression can take the joy out of life. In a lot of cases, taking control over breath (read: paying attention to breath) can be so helpful in taking control of anxiety, specifically. It’s so simple, yet such an underrated technique. If you get social anxiety then this technique is a must try. What’s there to lose anyway - the breath is yours. It’s not like you are paying for it :-)

I am sharing with you what works best for me. Here is some good content on the same subject. It’s probably explained in a little more detail here.

[https://youtu.be/hrvBXRgFoLM](https://youtu.be/hrvBXRgFoLM) ",6.519557522123897,9.419085247787613,5.420539823008848,76.32656194690266,68.20353982300885,8.059823008849557,30.76902654867257,8.841846274778883,2.9078998230088504,535,22,81,10,10,159,75,113,0.159,0.6920000000000001,0.149,0.4032,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,5,0,7,8,9,0,2,7,0,9,5,4,4,1,16,14,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,4,2,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,5,15,12,5,9,0,2,0,0,9,7,0,3,3,63,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4284601115623335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694250391951638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6281779963643352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059914595993455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315474679272971,0.0,0.0,0.11744225465376702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385255188615163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989003695020277,0.0684067702952351,0.14033697018700292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664672680718236,0.0,0.11904012035302693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096539883654367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400580367242804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273290496477178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32078520668920835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158331705953717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506448748438738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193633339893304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway588338,2019/01/15,"This is a story about how I stopped having suicidal thoughts. About three weeks ago I planned to kill myself. It's been a thought in my brain for several years. I don't think I'm exactly depressed per se, but I've always felt like there's a massive void in me which I can't fill. I have a supportive family, close friends and I do well in school. So I'm not exactly sure why I feel this way. (If somebody can help me with this that would be great.) Anyway back to the matter at hand, I filled up the bath and got in, put the razor beside me and closed my eyes for about 50 minutes hoping somebody would come in and realise how truly fucked up I am and help me. Alas nobody came in, as I picked up the razer it slipped out of my hands and slid across the floor the the other side the bathroom. I decided maybe it was a sign and got out. As I left the bathroom I found my 5 year old sister sitting against the wall outside the bathroom. She had being waiting out there the whole time for me to play basketball in the backyard with her. We went and played and I felt a happiness I haven't felt in years. I haven't had a suicidal thought since. (Beforehand I thought about it at least once a day)",2.583536585365856,4.094136581300816,3.4053739837398385,92.55537804878051,75.46341463414635,6.708617886178862,25.308130081300806,7.365786028017652,0.982373008130082,933,32,207,11,20,296,143,246,0.111,0.73,0.159,0.9228,0,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,1,0,0,1,12,13,2,0,21,0,18,5,4,3,3,46,39,16,3,4,3,1,6,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,10,19,0,2,11,3,0,7,5,3,1,1,16,7,30,10,33,19,2,42,0,1,1,1,7,23,1,2,11,135,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095780664265909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285835927926988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950530224510583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799626395100642,0.0,0.14138369618288107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648418094669616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972205057098279,0.0,0.10647022232659166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653410050095475,0.0,0.06250393018514781,0.0,0.3560720449779673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355384905327487,0.09550536352501914,0.11428093853492136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977339089879326,0.13628700300856025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159145976460138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571430893144554,0.0,0.0,0.1227785141485429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367627151154369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430907336644726,0.0,0.0,0.0603925009916523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418882024063498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971412769599702,0.13164693471474528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426815604652075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251059241703277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965081889874992,0.0,0.10225637754465776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334845550211824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704315349879133,0.1402778963406636,0.1165065543227848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920809874897396,0.0,0.392548972436938,0.0720814448757212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812057410822246,0.09915724539895253,0.0,0.1111455698298762,0.11459320874415024,0.11154415269160993,0.13801277509450632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562642478778165,0.0,0.0,0.2388138246629797
mentalhealth,DaWeakPeeps312,2019/01/15,"Why do i feel like my thoughts are trapped? So yeah, Before anything else i am a Male 15 years old, This has started happening since i was 13 and i dont think this is one of those hormone changes stuff, This is too severe to be one. Im just gonna say what im experiencing, So please give me advice or anything at all if you can. Also it's gonna be long so....Yeah.

First is my actions and thoughts are different, I feel like im not the one inside this ""Body"", Like im just inside but im not the one in control, Kinda like im just watching. I also have multiple voices in my head, There's 3 of them. One is me, But im confused because it feels like sometimes there's 2 of me, So i guess sometimes there can be 4. Also two of those voices are imaginary, But i cant erase them anymore, It's like they're stuck there. I cant focus because they always talk and talk it's so frustrating. I was also hiding my emotions before all this started already, Because of my parents. So maybe that's something. I already had depression at 10 years old, It got more severe throughout the years until now. My parents never tried helping me because they always say they dont have money or im just sad. I was a kid so i couldn't do anything, Until now not even once i've never gotten any psychiatrist or whatever. And to be honest it's really tiring, I still want to live but it's so hard when it's like this. I cant kill myself, Part of me wants to live but the ""me"" inside wants to die and always cries everytime, I feel sad for him, Or me rather. I dont know there's like two of me, It's so hard to explain, It kinda ruins my life. A lot of people also hated me because they said i was ""Weird"". I ended up having no friends, But i dont feel lonely because i have these dudes with me. They might be imaginary but they're my friends. You know i've been working out and also getting motivated at basketball, I just want to live normal. But people still say im weird, I dont get what's weird with me. I cant go to school, I've dropped out because of all this too. 

Also im gonna talk about my parents, I think it all started because of my parents, They used to actually slap me with a metal rod when i misbehave and they say ""Parents know best."". They even tied me up once like for a day without food and water, It was scary considering i was 11 at that time. They even push my head on a wall sometimes until i bleed if i dont do what they say. They were very strict and i need to follow everything they say, Everything i do wasn't like me, I feel like i was being controlled. So i just hid everything, My emotions, My happiness, I just said to myself when i was 10 that ""If hiding my emotions will make my parents happy then that's good enough for me."" But the thing they couldn't control is this, Internet. The internet is where i can let go of everything and just have fun, But that's what i thought, But now im 15 i disappointed my parents, I cant give up but the ""me"" inside is tired, The other 3 keeps motivating him but he cant anymore. I want to die. I just want to make the people around me happy but no matter what i do i cant. My parents are kind, I know they are. Im just not being good enough, I want to be able to go up and be proud of myself, Like those Hall of famers in the NBA, I gave up my dreams for my family. It's like a house collapsing all at once, All that hard work. I want to live a normal life. Maybe i should just go to those Mental asylum if im so weird, Why do people hate me for trying to live normally anyway?

And yeah probably i dont want help, I dont even know what i want, Maybe i just post things so i could wind out a little bit, I dont know. I want help, Maybe that's what i need. Please please dont advice me to go to a doctor or something, Please advice something else. People always say that same thing, I want some actual advice not instructions on what to do, Please. 

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mentalhealth,throwaway7854213,2019/01/15,"My dreams are getting weirder The last week I have been getting very depressed and hopeless again and I really feel the urge to cut again. And now my dreams are getting  kind of aggressive and I'm very scared. 

On the night of Friday to Saturday I dreamed that someone stabbed me, don't remember any details and wasn't all that scary.

The next night I had a dream about someone stabbing me again. I remember the details but don't want to describe them all here. It felt very real and while I was getting stabbed it hurt and felt kind of warm and peaceful, I felt like I was dying. Couldn't sleep all night again.

And last night it started with a pretty normal dream, until the person I met started to rape me.

I'm getting very scared to stay home alone after these dreams and usually I forget my dreams but the last to won't leave my thoughts.

I'm so scared of someone killing me or my boyfriend or of someone raping me. I don't know what to do to calm myself down and feel safe again. 

Sorry if this isn't the right place but I feel like it has something to do with my depression/anxiety. 

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mentalhealth,sosaddocrack,2019/01/15,"I need help So I've just about had it with life in general but school is what I'm through with. I'm done I can't do it anymore. I'm close i have 20 credits and 22 are required plus this whole other thing called capstone that is a graduation requirement. It includes shit like presentations, research paper, 40 hour community service, college lists, college applications, other pointless applications. But i can't do it anymore I'm at the point where my brain isn't letting me process anything correctly anymore. I'm at that flight stage and just want to fucking leave run or do something. Move just not fucking sit here anymore. I'm also shaving my head here in a couple days. ",3.4303756708407884,6.058763093023257,4.196279069767447,82.6514490161002,76.98449612403103,6.449850924269531,32.403697078115684,7.61054688173877,2.4410376863446634,545,29,97,8,13,174,86,129,0.054000000000000006,0.867,0.079,0.287,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,9,5,3,0,3,0,13,6,3,0,1,19,23,8,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,11,6,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,3,0,0,2,0,7,2,10,20,1,14,0,0,0,2,2,7,3,1,4,59,18,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295505746589755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.642638073420194,0.0,0.0,0.133311407632963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084450619502448,0.1654191335671934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17924885773374225,0.0,0.10447597967929627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16578126393655335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995310062044773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625775291868766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858454247281976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953642328624684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153359373633542,0.0,0.16565499532109312,0.11442471362736692,0.07914454860600764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217934316973038,0.0,0.12012023631174862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314145658063366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395167833447774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662896877259792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471477641504553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762496457322886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555123170591777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086614409671448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nottodaysatan101518,2019/01/15,"Crippling paranoia Alright.....so I need to give the backstory first: I've struggled with my mental health for over a decade now. I've been through a gamut of meds and diagnoses. My symptoms have all been pretty consistent in intensity recently, except for one. At first I chalked it up to being overly anxious, but my anxiety is morphing into a more serious constant paranoia. I feel like I'm being followed and watched. I feel like there is a person constantly outside my house and looking in my windows. I feel like there's someone out there that wants to hurt me. I've also been experiencing slight hallucinations. For example, I see things out of the corners of my eyes like children and animals running by me. Over the weekend I started freaking out because I thought I saw my son run out from next to our car into the street, but he was safely buckled into his seat. 

Idk.....saying this stuff out loud makes me feel insane  because I know it's not real. But the feelings are real. ",4.286006756756756,6.526368178378384,5.1842398648648675,78.4882516891892,72.62162162162163,7.435810810810811,33.18412162162162,8.278499904357787,2.8714391891891897,783,40,133,13,16,255,117,185,0.121,0.777,0.102,-0.1505,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,2,5,9,0,1,9,0,10,4,1,1,1,32,27,8,0,2,5,1,5,4,0,0,3,1,1,2,6,13,0,1,7,1,0,4,1,4,0,3,6,12,22,5,30,19,2,30,0,1,5,0,7,17,0,0,13,95,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974333122118866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498110032778472,0.15503161572341134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730910675308386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29659524220554195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928625913876666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469397946277817,0.2941128917301186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334567053823399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316441800547575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586980362624333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583457884410569,0.14690828925140562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541839696264288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681759285092854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115239215076075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160254952627964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243235737897107,0.0,0.1382962560073091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175481594449556,0.0,0.0,0.1459463930144575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299106541447984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982454309883978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961294451977646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123971320132886,0.0,0.0,0.13549874828203862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913135074395923,0.0,0.0,0.1093550906279884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627511619630496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713258694162852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434633105615266,0.1570963050439366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263522901405665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116997100105302,0.0,0.0,0.10894583706592237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094221501755865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,californiacandy,2019/01/15,Desperately don't want to be hypersexual anymore. I've been this way for as long as I can remember and I don't know what to do anymore. The only formal diagnoses I have are depression and anxiety. I've tossed the idea of personality disorders around in my mind for years (mainly BPD and NPD) but I don't know for sure. I didn't have anything happen to me in my youth that would warrant this. But I just don't know how to stop. I can't stop posting/sending nudes. I can't stop having casual sex. I can't stop cheating. I can't stop sexting. I feel absolutely fucking disgusting and the guilt kills me. It's a compulsion and an absolute obsession. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to stop. Is it even possible to stop? I'm currently going through one of my worst hypersexual phases ever and I can't stop. I want to die. Please if anyone knows what I should do please tell me. I need help. ,0.8522727272727266,3.2390540806451646,3.3771652003910084,85.9084750733138,86.15053763440861,7.037732160312808,22.970674486803517,8.150884317080207,1.5527935483870967,713,27,150,17,22,247,97,186,0.307,0.627,0.066,-0.9924,1,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,0,6,10,4,2,5,0,25,4,1,2,2,38,39,13,2,6,4,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,8,7,0,8,9,1,0,1,12,8,0,1,2,1,23,2,19,34,2,18,0,1,0,3,3,3,1,1,13,97,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836802852768421,0.0,0.3047855069028404,0.07162999183514862,0.0,0.0843012298459046,0.09119530717524807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290224074216775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882333459377586,0.1039767110043551,0.10631886523296397,0.0,0.11740767521470548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766212932738258,0.09266486548037488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179787149855765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470619449739842,0.0,0.0,0.058220282300822726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058932910658817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866486998559129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564481274811796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333715371752018,0.0,0.3377974358942593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065815332188047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343745322880236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595961838720572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941750890843881,0.07791193509576741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944860724994039,0.0,0.22490161996735286,0.0,0.1154882264803676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604708107522616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6851703567204046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655059308551002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953902774244753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084616746793896,0.08131387696689349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277202374283867,0.0,0.0,0.0659694399233766
mentalhealth,AdrianR154,2019/01/15,"My dog just chewed up something really important to me. A few months ago my grandpa died, and on that day I was at the mall. I bought some clothes and a little Deadpool figurine while I was there. As I was walking out, I got the call that he had died after having a heart attack 30 minutes ago while I was there, and I specifically remember buying the Deadpool vinyl at that time. It might sound stupid to a lot of you, but that 15 dollar chibi became really important to me. I just got home and saw it had fallen off of my desk and my dog chewed the foot off of it. This brought me back to a lot of memories I wish I didn't have to think about.",4.589925373134328,4.460292731343287,5.38429104477612,86.29345149253733,69.44776119402985,8.789552238805971,27.19776119402985,8.472884824447931,1.55836119402985,502,14,112,7,8,164,79,134,0.093,0.847,0.06,-0.521,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,6,2,2,0,9,0,10,4,2,0,0,16,17,9,2,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,8,6,2,0,2,1,3,3,1,2,0,0,12,2,18,0,19,4,4,20,0,0,1,0,4,8,0,4,9,81,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411063838788275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21888560010229668,0.0,0.1479456328368169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964644466402242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408368422840667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.399366801046141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077636833019142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279978682842536,0.0,0.0,0.19299537760547186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19283783352911715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271474206879956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041086289455703,0.0,0.0,0.15357382599899058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465159142245516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21795450618384685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812083105421694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328374198991675,0.0,0.0,0.11219143487437808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212533596587264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sososososososotired,2019/01/15,"I became a sobbing mess today instead of going to see dad. Reached a breaking point. I was on my way to meet my father, whose in town and I haven't seen in over a year, and I realized as I'm trying to get through that I left my wallet at home. I just lost it from there. I started sobbing uncontrollably and  told him I can't see him tonight. 

​

I can't take being like this anymore.

​

I'm almost 30 and I've have like no self or motivation to do better for myself. Since I was 13 I've struggled with just accepting myself and it hasn't stopped. I've somehow got no hobbies or real interest and I've been biting my nails since before I can remember. I get anxiety attacks from just my thoughts racing.  I've been hiding how I feel from everyone I know and it's spilling out of me. Knowing I desperately need I signed up with insurance from the ACA but was mislead by an employee for what my options in my area are; there's only a handful of therapist and they're all full. (Trying to switch to better insurance now).  I've had jobs from retail to managing an office but am currently jobless. 

​

Everything feels like a pit and when people compliment me I die inside.

​

If you've felt like this before please any advice is helpful. 

​",2.5995238095238093,4.9700159047619055,4.0277079365079365,84.13951428571431,78.44444444444444,6.7304126984127,27.54031746031746,7.839951260653429,1.9278363174603173,1016,44,189,17,25,335,150,252,0.139,0.7609999999999999,0.1,-0.5434,4,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,4,10,16,1,2,8,0,17,1,1,2,1,39,37,17,1,2,8,2,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,8,12,0,1,10,0,1,1,6,7,0,0,12,7,30,9,30,24,2,24,0,3,3,0,9,13,2,6,12,121,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879094097382904,0.0,0.0,0.08073954206077615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4368141768629571,0.4898728576367707,0.05483133065152385,0.0,0.06168191574330303,0.0,0.07996353576730897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172854237979908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722079739793192,0.0,0.0,0.14262179642810033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368146309699008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704565319788277,0.0724652639782269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153814777483677,0.057602262216954477,0.07741767847210981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425194889555745,0.0,0.04582402562496595,0.0,0.06448737160765489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404475274607568,0.0,0.08087870862914337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001307543125666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886245465597109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760499571158985,0.0,0.0,0.15756745714270085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801743573886261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05978630404869682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132293367922535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589885869388729,0.0,0.0,0.08850779478558707,0.07622164230370039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177486954855864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133834819654453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285037300077074,0.0,0.08411492899204931,0.0,0.0,0.13339634161336358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05707050149937226,0.0,0.0,0.06741049412469782,0.0,0.08429223742827703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06062390871211758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361792752255073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401140701994819,0.0,0.0,0.07642804318993908,0.07704565319788277,0.0,0.1094852855414839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400053442790676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4898728576367707,0.05192323338272
mentalhealth,BrickyCeltic,2019/01/15,"I don’t feel well I don’t feel well. I don’t ever sleep even though I’m constantly exhausted. I’ve had my ons and offs with depression for the last 3-4 years, but the past year I’ve felt great. Got a new job. New girlfriend. Everything seems to be going great. So why now do I feel so dreadful? I can’t deal with having to accept that this is happening to me again. I want to just enjoy my life and work and make money and do fun shit. I’m only 21 and I’m so unmotivated and bored and just feel like everything is totally pointless, yet on top of me 24/7. I don’t know why I’m even posting this, or if anyone will even read this or respond. I just wish the world would stop for just a few days to let me conduct a hard reset on my brain. I just want to sleep ",0.4694879518072312,2.2102547891566324,2.6020331325301207,94.88630271084341,82.43373493975903,6.077710843373494,18.808734939759034,7.1686216300943375,0.06915783132530162,589,14,143,8,16,199,95,166,0.138,0.655,0.207,0.9139,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,18,13,1,1,6,0,15,6,4,1,2,34,33,15,0,5,9,0,6,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,4,9,0,1,8,1,1,1,5,5,2,0,3,6,15,8,15,26,2,21,0,1,0,0,3,6,1,4,14,86,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277733466486683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481217745851982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338673500157145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557167611680666,0.13679373224783412,0.11428250171391928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26291411694662725,0.12002234002948728,0.0,0.0,0.23849975223679565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683606872389072,0.09479110757914556,0.12739964032901244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540867277686808,0.0,0.1061213421885073,0.29257419238093746,0.0,0.0,0.11733404246269312,0.0,0.11886084794287087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316706627315434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292091146918428,0.1081570306086263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135680714842407,0.09372024616888808,0.06482381596720498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856912468805314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562984792141336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091389781815403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666407154676426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707678189722876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272219048141784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079260932184745,0.0,0.0,0.1362005634532688,0.0,0.0,0.2655642162717601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110931674462202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303636000390409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652361580527116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386018080363293,0.0,0.2394574659955941,0.0,0.15258267797417244,0.0,0.0,0.09659719481134983,0.0,0.0,0.09425652897695837,0.0,0.0,0.17089123280959642
mentalhealth,eccentricfreaks,2019/01/15,Parent Causing Stress Recently I’ve been really stressed out because my mother has been leaving the house frequently without mentioning where she is going. For the few times that she tells me where she is going I can’t help but feel she’s lying to me. When she is home she tends to stay in her room by herself on her phone. This has been happening for awhile and I don’t know what to do about it and I feel if this goes on I’m going to lose my mind.,1.1579787234042556,3.382536500000004,2.512170212765956,93.794,82.93617021276594,5.887659574468086,20.038297872340426,7.1686216300943375,0.3923182978723405,357,10,78,5,10,115,63,94,0.126,0.855,0.02,-0.8764,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,2,0,11,0,0,1,0,11,20,5,0,1,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,3,2,16,0,13,17,1,15,0,1,0,0,15,7,0,1,4,55,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253341823550908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21121176273762424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791894155666893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35054817281791023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818147819519479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781190883420735,0.0,0.2062373987091146,0.0,0.0,0.237239207222846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129944842965971,0.0,0.0,0.2177047620559168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23001808688287545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076012504997324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22829871423376824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171507401073965,0.0,0.20300897130639367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191463192085394,0.0,0.0,0.4710369699189676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970680394407046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988924280473938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981947486987028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peacefulcate815,2019/01/15,"Internal Meltdown I have bipolar disorder 2 and I feel like while outwardly I’m holding it together (or at least making it appear that way), I am completely melting down and dying inside. I feel like I’m going insane because I feel like I have control and no control at the same time. I don’t see my therapist until next Monday and I feel like I’m suffering silently and alone and I’m losing my mind. 

I don’t really know where I am going with this but I needed to get it out somehow or I’ll lose my shit. ",1.7628571428571431,3.780792190476192,4.350714285714286,82.57178571428574,79.47619047619048,7.2476190476190485,25.73809523809524,8.238735603445708,1.9332666666666665,400,16,77,8,10,141,64,105,0.191,0.7390000000000001,0.07,-0.9022,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,4,2,8,1,0,1,0,6,2,1,3,0,25,22,11,1,1,3,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,3,5,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,0,5,14,4,7,22,2,15,0,3,1,0,0,6,1,4,9,48,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278875229226533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581410083755662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479788613402627,0.0,0.3525764356160161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312569496669405,0.0,0.18013932496228927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178951832295501,0.4491512795326553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211888993836525,0.0,0.17865548114473725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638078382965662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071564477875671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35168340762168004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491737225327644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587047266405714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654531405754708,0.0,0.0,0.1671603260401383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006920948934458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252503212032969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134070724151706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249548852602435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165161317993012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476038623621577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,madalyn7808,2019/01/15,"Read this book if you haven’t!! “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson. 

A counterintuitive approach to living a good life. 

Read this in a low point in my life and helped give perspective on what actually matters. ",3.442209302325584,5.7867392093023255,4.518779069767444,81.8121220930233,75.51162790697674,7.090697674418602,22.377906976744185,8.07648339933343,1.1949581395348845,178,5,34,3,4,58,36,43,0.093,0.74,0.16699999999999998,0.5103,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,4,0,6,0,1,0,1,4,5,1,1,0,20,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.25795148214949143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24437217190777724,0.0,0.5071457885272054,0.0,0.22171049889936228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717725330632972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734133055989062,0.0,0.0,0.23341142892586134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24988071070133244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5288103040690286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cyampagn,2019/01/15,"Bipolar friend's week 9 of depressive phase So it has been week 9 of my bipolar friend's depressive phase. She was seen smiling to herself but still giving off the disturbing vibe to people. Week 8 had a bit of crying, though. I am quoting the weeks here because I read that the estimated length of a phase is 13 weeks. By week 9, her irritability had mellowed out and she has been seeking alternative treatments. For one, her TCM cocktail routine (which are for the slew of things/problems she faces, like phantom pains in heel, in chest, like congestion, etc. many of which are psychological). And for another, being overly reliant on YouTuber new age advice about her life. I cannot be certain, but she has been taking more water and going to the loo more often, which I briefly took as a hopeful sign that she has been on some form of mood stabilizers, maybe lithium. If anything, I think someone in her family should mix stabilizers into her TCM concoction, knowing how stubborn she is to even admit her condition or seek legit help, other than YouTuber advice which are continuing to feed her delusions.

She harbors several strange metaphysical theories which she shares with me, that was when we were closer. Today I saw her behaving strangely (this to do with sun energy and vibes) and bam! I instantly knew her thoughts and have an explanation. She noticed my presence and attempted to behave normally but I just feel like telling her to forget the act and just be herself. I know what she's thinking, she can't hide much more from me.

I like to think that I lost a friendship and I should feel sorry towards myself but I don't. I see the way her bipolar condition is deeply affecting every part of her life, coupled with her stubbornness, her avoidance of social interactions toward anyone, her pained acting to put up a front that everything is ok. But to us people who care for her, we know better. I see how much sorry of a state she is in and I can no longer just think of myself. Her dreams and aspirations crushed two-fold because for one, her condition is deeply affecting her life, and for another, her work is too much to clear and she can hardly even go for 3-hour night classes to improve herself. There is no way she can even achieve her dreams (which she shared with me) at this rate. It is crippling her. Her face today was more blank than usual. Creepy and disturbing too. I really wish it does not be this way and there can be some form of improvement. But the thing is to wait for the phase to end, right? 4 more weeks. Time does not heal, it just evolves the progression.

There is a very suffocating and taboo culture here toward seeking help from mental health practitioners. My friend is stubborn anyway. I previously shared another reddit post on what to do. Limit interactions? Show some care, drop kind actions now and then? She just mistrusts everyone who cares for her.",5.731701588212782,7.37582293843284,5.664776119402987,78.92779372368928,67.75,8.706391121316495,30.90776884806736,9.127657967737557,2.7001483543819367,2309,92,410,43,39,722,267,536,0.11,0.7240000000000001,0.166,0.9901,1,1,0,0,0,0,69.0,3,0,0,7,25,30,3,3,18,1,47,17,4,4,2,76,75,32,0,6,15,0,3,4,3,2,11,0,0,0,24,25,3,7,12,5,0,8,7,11,0,2,16,7,72,18,64,52,16,52,0,3,4,0,63,18,0,7,24,296,96,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005158303497454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415227664301269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053684403587297064,0.0,0.06318109398041709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360533732822586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790319440542253,0.08382081757382555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348384178209313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849525117725761,0.08433614931652532,0.0,0.0,0.13225618017887075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343764906966225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800181075845102,0.0,0.08562687343687941,0.15213185002506252,0.0,0.06468810260059625,0.07336390507219584,0.06900239697982527,0.0,0.07237871141829845,0.0,0.07764171870607474,0.05484964721338115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795362342253832,0.0,0.0,0.07365168651285116,0.08726850448892698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877729086250407,0.0,0.0,0.08161057362279472,0.0,0.0,0.10292427789352168,0.0,0.0,0.07625708359804992,0.07561007667625608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995163928684856,0.12658422411269213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626900213658549,0.15003784754208635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838113836696171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784003041524147,0.07713301722788186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737335968148812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932022888803186,0.0,0.0,0.07415189844935476,0.0,0.07205020142279572,0.07522535492103477,0.0,0.08741135138274712,0.0,0.0,0.10405243582442426,0.0,0.1633927085638333,0.0,0.0,0.083142226008382,0.0,0.10645528703169282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353133467983901,0.0,0.0,0.07346541167058021,0.0,0.07718229227591207,0.0,0.0,0.07679797727033333,0.0,0.04918544048524976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655673095267061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236297647441585,0.0,0.0,0.08673638254339867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826468689399307,0.06505307263696314,0.0,0.0,0.17189157971960084,0.0,0.0,0.06131437131242051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772689956223879,0.0,0.06710665712767866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05100736030079152,0.196782919221043,0.07543320944570155,0.06095252091753594,0.04476940290306757,0.0,0.1455516170662943,0.0,0.08530229449904007,0.0,0.0,0.07500016849982613,0.0,0.09235351859694403,0.0,0.08455923909576478,0.06334923098126831,0.0,0.18282650366839054,0.4311022724883666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828999123961644,0.0,0.0,0.05589471620827904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fijifilm,2019/01/15,"I can't stop thinking, I'm scared, I feel like I'm having a nightmare (I'm fully awake) in my thoughts but I'm just trying to sleep. What's wrong with me? This has never ever happened before. I lie down to go to sleep and my mind just goes from 0-60 and I can't stop thinking and thinking and thinking and every thought is something negative and it just makes me feel trapped and scared and like in having a nightmare but awake. I've been a little bit anxious all day, thinking about different stuff a lot, I've felt distracted almost all day and I don't know what's going on. Can someone tell me what's wrong with me?",2.3243340380549675,4.01056739534884,3.344876673713884,91.96902748414377,76.59689922480621,5.621141649048626,24.905567300916143,6.11248444174946,0.6087457364341078,490,17,104,3,11,157,71,129,0.22,0.7140000000000001,0.066,-0.9736,1,1,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,3,4,0,9,2,2,1,4,37,28,11,0,0,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,2,11,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,3,11,2,11,24,4,13,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,8,61,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122502989066565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932810840484873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000941991692553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397243829373825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819103334415761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735035719955933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757319294178285,0.11882710255405035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262190573316388,0.10075461162804067,0.13541461441606484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030557576670593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471576903145667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750851638172856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780403180899709,0.14135297003617706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990193705152898,0.0,0.0,0.0941411909627646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240398569357807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877400066944942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823989776337845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822714087439653,0.0,0.1194975246285436,0.10857474910689133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23582122971514602,0.0,0.0,0.1614500178124748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326980245199935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518439864347782,0.0,0.22393024877279927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575272740304352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083967533064327,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,may-onnaise,2019/01/16,Is paranoia a genuine medical condition? If so how is it treated/diagnosed? Are there different levels of it? What separates it from normal anxiety? ,4.303000000000001,7.6885160000000035,6.671500000000003,58.36325000000002,89.0,12.1,42.25,10.125756701596842,7.652000000000001,120,9,14,6,4,42,22,25,0.182,0.818,0.0,-0.5661,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,3,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.353551692782878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4690834116440691,0.0,0.4828595960274582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4655783128079469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4528193885180137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FattyMayonaise,2019/01/16,"Getting fired for performance issues vs quitting ahead of time? For those who have had to face this tough decision, what was your outcome or what would you recommend? 

Some background: Im fairly new to the workforce (first job out of college w no prior experience) so I’ve been struggling with the anxiety of not knowing if whatever task I’m doing is correct, and depressed because It feels like everyone else just ‘gets it’ and i don’t (i have ADHD if that provides context). I’m also constantly on edge from all the mistakes I’ve made at work and just feeling like I’m going to get called out for another mistake any second. 

I was put on a performance improvement plan (PIP) and while I thought I was improving, my managers said ‘my growth is not enough’ so that doesn’t sound like good news. My PIP will be over by the end of the month and again, it isn’t looking too well. Getting a PIP is like walking on eggshells because I feel like they are designed to make you do worse due to all the stress and anxiety you undergo. This just causes me to make more mistakes in the longrun. 

Should I resign while I’m somewhat ahead of it? I know those who say to ‘wait and get fired’ advise this for unemployment money purposes, but money aside, would that truly be worth it? The thought of getting fired would probably put me in a deeper depression because not only did I feel like a POS during work, but now i feel even more worthless with being fired. It just doesn’t sound like the viable choice for my mental health. So I guess the choice comes down to ‘feeling some sort of sanity from leaving on your own terms vs feeling like absolute shit but with a bit more money in your pocket’

How did you guys (who have a similar experience) handle this? 

",5.942678571428572,6.534378148809522,5.99702380952381,80.56464285714287,66.6190476190476,9.019047619047619,32.36904761904762,8.976282227363876,2.659872619047619,1382,55,260,22,21,437,180,336,0.139,0.754,0.107,-0.9354,4,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,7,1,9,14,21,1,2,16,0,28,3,2,5,3,62,58,20,0,9,15,0,11,8,0,5,1,4,0,1,20,13,0,1,12,0,4,6,8,11,1,2,11,16,25,10,40,39,12,33,0,4,1,0,16,12,1,8,23,174,45,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182314045371808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440880602554267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327443109225091,0.09756678278229744,0.1423597815687585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701598274651251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015820697370072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501030971815813,0.0,0.0,0.09558381289316133,0.0,0.08015083999343546,0.0,0.1005496078886568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028066662851898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772794496339548,0.0,0.08241108691911403,0.09614133060762267,0.0,0.061455967009049824,0.0,0.0,0.08890938476780172,0.0,0.18203357035609533,0.0,0.0,0.32932776717481577,0.3323601969983525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914483054621749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916759855051031,0.0,0.05288015295860537,0.07804252143093816,0.0,0.0,0.10250059496379596,0.09213011102513197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890348508860927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050558388705096,0.0971157891245654,0.09233373999311142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022712324822736,0.0,0.0,0.09852221757247867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636603777763669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813515687662922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804231986975758,0.1242177773045421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376842467599368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426838301937952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986435037787056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076563153502423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031926250705014,0.0,0.0,0.18707374190256165,0.0,0.0989658123352538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850799793982407,0.07399386749474661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551032213189184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658381194049847,0.0972718207891776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773616888282373,0.05425583690803439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365947602933611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547710757649892,0.0,0.09482176381184168,0.1982915022678028,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlex-xbones,2019/01/16,"I'm having extremely nightmare-realistic dreams and am beginning to not be able to tell whats real, what's going on? (X-Post) USA South Hello, I wasn't sure where to post this but I just woke up from one of these dreams and it's beginning to freak me out. Ive cross posted this in dreams but someone recomended therapy so I figured I'd post here just in case.

For the past 2 weeks, I've been having semi-stressful dreams that are so hyper realistic I can't tell the difference until about an hour after I've woken up, or unless the dream causes me to go into a panic and I realize that way through some kind of investigation. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, severe chronic depression, paranoia, severe anxiety, slight agoraphobia, BPD, as well as several other things that I was diagnosed with when I was 17. I am 20 now, almost 21. I have not been on meds and have not been able to afford therapy for over 2 years.

Just a few moments ago I woke up from one where I was ""woken up"" by a call fdom my sister in hysterics saying my father had been in an accident, I then actually woke myself up by saying ""what?!"" And getting dressed out of bed only to realize my phone wasn't even in my hand. But I couldn't tell any difference. Nothing was out of place and it didn't feel like a dream of any sort. This sent me into a mear panic attack and I called my mom just to make sure everyone was okay. 

My other dreams have been more anxiety based, such as missing my job interview and getting a ride up there, chatting with my roomate and just walking around our apartment, going to my first day on the job nefore my first day even started, talking with coworkers, being a cashier, ect. Mundane things, but its getting to a point now Im not understanding whats been a dream and what isn't. Sometimes its nightmare esque, sometime I'm just having general anxiety and other times its just me living my life as normal with no way to see a difference. I can see myself in mirrors, I can read in the dreams, and theres no way for me to get out of them.

I'll keep talking about something that happened only for my finace or roomate to look at me funny and ask me what I'm talking about, trying to bring back up conversations that happened in my dreams but not reality. Its getting to the point I feel crazy and like I'm being lied to, or that my dreams are bleeding over so badly I cant see the lines anymore. I really want to know whats going on, is this normal?? I get anywhere from 6-8 hours of sleep, so I don't know whats happening, but its very scary. Any advice?",4.087204962243799,5.056669258252427,5.432273462783172,81.59563781014026,70.98058252427184,8.362998921251346,27.70361380798274,8.680891452615391,1.9986364617044217,2008,69,399,34,36,674,233,515,0.14800000000000002,0.7559999999999999,0.096,-0.9828,3,0,1,0,0,0,60.0,1,0,1,2,28,14,1,2,19,1,38,7,2,2,2,70,79,35,0,4,22,3,3,2,0,0,5,2,1,0,31,26,0,1,8,13,0,9,15,7,1,4,22,9,47,7,78,53,3,73,0,2,4,0,22,36,0,6,24,274,78,4,0.14400154057134806,0.0,0.07026236556283895,0.0,0.0,0.07035831941756056,0.06382433858036199,0.0,0.07209837095138308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14688897841762807,0.0,0.16524117658129805,0.0,0.07140541693927227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409595060400405,0.06731100082756312,0.08191127056864114,0.0,0.05536414800736905,0.060117635714353815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068244966835412,0.0,0.14704167326077938,0.0,0.0,0.0739646246083628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286908071829987,0.0,0.062014157943288836,0.14615853247130245,0.0,0.2256764410972479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511165943650103,0.0,0.0,0.06879982153318602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281150567504667,0.051437364678519684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248763684676756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22570458451237135,0.0,0.16367878804700367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19101013013227824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181251056136646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777318730274159,0.0,0.14289930921484054,0.06399759286546795,0.0,0.07497772247548391,0.07913948073238222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050856273368519146,0.07035187892438856,0.0,0.06357799927751184,0.0,0.06046251318259456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048061073260831456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997662437561537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432643195439449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410909353378799,0.06908668096061728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975791706803076,0.10951966056244808,0.0,0.16895478099528782,0.0,0.0,0.0687328822946511,0.0,0.0,0.07522548036574933,0.0,0.13612800125121235,0.0,0.2758273403299075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841650474462256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202025471666275,0.0819526395597588,0.046125537130094894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451580486095968,0.0,0.0,0.17212587583958494,0.0,0.0,0.24402112865506045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720527683808868,0.0,0.0610060190117207,0.05542971060528272,0.14242120573492134,0.0,0.05096251579413096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247663909702997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571974780026416,0.0,0.0,0.1736144754447604,0.18879554037627552,0.0,0.16467831150203902,0.0,0.09566822491577978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041984228168433266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888379676928355,0.0,0.0,0.07495534111093145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05940817601635048,0.04246791979012349,0.17145258027831928,0.05775467490365425,0.0,0.06473733943171553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04636613542599274
mentalhealth,fighterforger,2019/01/16,"Am I crazy? I have thrown myself down a flight of stairs and cut myself with broken glass. I made them seem like accidents so I don't look like a loon. Now I have been contemplating boiling water for tea and ""accidentally"" slipping and falling putting my hand in the pot.",3.2440384615384623,5.665187634615389,3.896769230769234,85.64823076923078,76.5,6.467692307692308,23.861538461538462,7.554174236665415,1.0850338461538462,215,7,42,3,5,68,42,52,0.206,0.6459999999999999,0.147,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,3,0,5,4,1,1,0,6,8,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,2,9,2,5,6,0,6,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,3,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4661008468715234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4005810367719742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513727902143139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.479542093979947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4342658377996267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kuro_Neko96,2019/01/16,"Phillipines I have a friend who lives in the Quezon district of the Philippines. She has bipolar disorder, social anxiety, and depression. She has to travel all the way to Manila to see her psychiatrist if she gets to see him at all. On average she sees him about for half an hour once a month if she's lucky. She did have somebody who would come to her city but that be once in a blue moon. She will have some really intense downs that comes with intense suicidal thoughts. I'm always happy to help but there is only so much I can do being that I am from the States. here is a lot more that is going on in her situation but that's about it in a nutshell.

 She needs to see somebody regularly. Can someone recommend me a therapist or any kind of help that may be of help for her?",3.5016666666666687,4.895382643312104,4.619506369426752,85.2458625265393,72.88535031847134,8.035881104033969,26.459129511677283,8.59863814320734,1.7579473460721866,613,21,127,11,12,201,96,157,0.069,0.774,0.157,0.9316,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,11,0,19,1,0,0,2,19,30,8,1,4,6,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,1,0,1,2,5,18,4,24,22,6,16,0,1,5,0,21,8,0,7,2,98,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12926895104103178,0.0,0.0,0.1056476637875306,0.0,0.11884720321005307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676515252604668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338082199026269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805186753846675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002795152654,0.0,0.08116729490783102,0.0,0.08829260926358795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537975220412154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31239631428344383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529947372299398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177975980859724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371825271911962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320784361667435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400397797074575,0.0,0.1142048126616643,0.11519478506510147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3308989425378109,0.0,0.11815552536892125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995252732621914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4951956737865735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462707697521995,0.0,0.1583662619071278,0.13163295411943218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16993466112651273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803807278405521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333560989773858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331466085391925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036071286030508,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlliGraz,2019/01/16,"You have no problem handing out narcotics, but won't give an anxious kid one prescription of Xanax? Dear Doctors, 

I get it. I'm 20. I'm in college. You don't trust me.

I'm also the daughter of a pharmacist. I was raised in a pharmacy. I wanna work in pharmaceuticals one day.

So, when I tell you I know the dangers of benzodiazepines, *believe me.* I've seen what narcotics and controlled substances due to people. I interacted with them on a daily basis, I've seen the addiction and desperation. 

And when I tell you I don't want to have to take them, *believe me.* I dislike medication as much as the next guy. But Zoloft made me fat and anxious, Lexapro keeps me from killing myself, but when I'm not in a near comatose state from it - I'm having anxiety.

Three to five panic attacks a day to be specific. I've had a hell of a year. I just need to get back on my feet. 

Again, I'm educated in this, I know what I'm talking about and I know what I'm doing. But when I keep my boyfriend up all night because I'm having anxiety attacks *in my sleep*, I need a little help because that's out of my control.

I know you won't believe me when I say I never sleep alone, I spend every night with my boyfriend or my best friend, and they'll monitor my usage. I know saying I don't have an addictive personality and I'm not going to sell them is not enough.

But I am *so* close to getting my degree, if this anxiety does not get to me first.

I just want to stop being a burden on my friends. I want to be able to sleep at night. I want to go to class and therapy and not be forced to skip because I'm shaking so bad I can not stand.

I'm going to therapy on a weekly basis. I'm 2 for 3 on SSRI's, they're not working.  I've tried exercise, and yoga, I do not smoke or do drugs, I rarely drink.

But, I have panic disorder. I've had it since I was **six years old**. I started showing signs of anxiety at 5. How many six-year-olds do you know out there who get anxiety attacks? I was literally born this way. We've been trying treatment for 7 years. And for five of those, I was able to control it pretty well. But I've strayed from the path, and this time therapy is not enough. 

I have done all I can do, but I'm at my wit's end. I do not want to head down this path but I don't know where else to go.  I need to get a grip on myself so I can get back on this path and be off *all* medications and be my old self again.

So either you find a way to make my anxiety manageable overnight, or you create a non-addictive pill that actually works, or you start treating me as a patient in desperate need of some help - and not some kid looking for drugs.

Give me one solid treatment that I haven't tried and doesn't involve benzo's and I'll gladly take it. Again, I don't **want** to be on them just as much as you don't want me to. But, I've tried everything I know.

Just hear me out, please. I'm not just some kid. I'm a human being who is struggling to live a quality of life and frankly, I do not want to keep living if I'm living like this. 

Sincerely,

A patient who needs you to put their ageism aside and help.",0.308903099934966,2.3184301927162387,2.6748946455668765,92.6527928679818,84.70561456752655,5.8294472143941025,21.705636245393453,7.110495986334442,0.5674145501842616,2383,81,549,34,70,815,251,659,0.149,0.7559999999999999,0.094,-0.9855,0,1,4,0,0,1,99.0,0,11,6,8,26,23,6,4,24,0,48,20,7,6,4,103,112,52,1,17,35,1,2,1,2,3,13,3,0,7,22,26,2,7,9,4,2,6,25,13,1,8,11,8,84,10,77,90,12,70,1,0,3,0,43,29,1,9,32,349,106,7,0.11310518069140935,0.0,0.05518717036817575,0.1849520128580139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585714282292726,0.0,0.0452250860675719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595754609393042,0.12777666007157445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301020714577927,0.0,0.08697090238554504,0.047219050735386583,0.10342180251772616,0.0,0.0,0.19114621017780145,0.05934845455025885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028561651121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294348458781946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481416802283371,0.057883972557263824,0.04948955291270734,0.057872934563644875,0.0,0.055400008742787235,0.13116610108373414,0.0,0.047242432563940805,0.0,0.05008880934817955,0.11686788657482455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047647996459477635,0.0,0.05082582167064335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05168804303941598,0.04810360445815223,0.0,0.0,0.08738478203265122,0.0,0.20682476033479125,0.10850079557493597,0.12856056139367966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05599595562783605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058039273117402736,0.0,0.06373887943668248,0.0,0.11371802769385007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507996222014913,0.06256706225418053,0.0,0.24863859740793345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03994476701996175,0.027628739061234583,0.056680552424955476,0.14981092010022692,0.0,0.047489932756558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053511428369535416,0.03774929319381876,0.05733545033050439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394157027808287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831453218570728,0.2096651458303484,0.043616844031214505,0.0,0.0601443214078063,0.15921232518573106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802729119450128,0.0,0.11496449643237396,0.0,0.0,0.1327045596687996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03920644551052285,0.049379540554772415,0.0,0.06207776177543176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057534315404806614,0.0,0.05411319136668584,0.0,0.056850973227697214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994577939535002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899668539223519,0.0,0.0,0.0467808871323105,0.0,0.16978029585034826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005642904254973,0.0,0.0,0.047280497786377836,0.0,0.05912104631311886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504101976652573,0.04545482994582856,0.09885891323693084,0.0,0.1940184470022988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0329762702144649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358198654083166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668494641039092,0.08977762782002774,0.045363076775660274,0.0,0.050847570413855465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351287792931985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456720561325081
mentalhealth,dontouchmeillexplode,2019/01/16,"Getting Med refills quickly? Hello y'all, so long story short, I missed 2 appointments and I now need to pay several hundred dollars to get them to refill my medication.   I AM working on it, and I'm not proud, but I simply cannot pay it all.

I really want to get back on medication as soon as possible.   What would be the quickest way to do this without waiting until I'm able to pay off the entire bill?  I live in the US and have insurance.

Thanks y'all. ",3.1918894009216565,4.416788956989251,5.324761904761908,80.55000000000003,73.40860215053762,8.325038402457759,29.414746543778804,8.841846274778883,2.398306912442397,355,15,71,7,7,124,65,93,0.093,0.8420000000000001,0.065,0.3231,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,2,1,2,5,3,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,0,1,11,16,8,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,11,2,14,14,1,12,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,6,49,15,4,0.2256024257508121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347433979570406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536038681741825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19921107516601028,0.1996510474951476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505934365828632,0.4545414187299828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672813400962702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543328376466864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452669081623762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25486652592097925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20770440298953505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713719404841964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306615586512802,0.17907270463244307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747268778244588,0.0,0.16424125285851388,0.0,0.0,0.1602614904035652,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emmadizzle,2019/01/16,"Anyone else unreasonably terrified/paranoid about job security? I recently got a DREAM job and I absolutely love it. I make my own hours and it works well around my college schedule, they pay is okay and I don’t get many hours but it is amazing experience and will look great for my resume & portfolio. I find myself constantly worried that I am not doing enough, that my boss and peers secretly hate me, that I am constantly messing up (even though my coworkers have nothing but nice things to say about me and my work). I know it’s ridiculous and if I was doing something wrong my boss would tell me, but I’m still so worried and anxious all the time about ruining this opportunity for myself to the point it depresses me. Is this normal? Am I crazy? How do I soothe these worries?",3.1950000000000003,5.739847166666667,4.279333333333334,82.19300000000001,77.33333333333334,7.7333333333333325,27.33333333333333,8.648137234880735,2.300533333333333,625,26,117,14,15,203,97,150,0.22,0.626,0.154,-0.9172,2,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,10,14,2,0,3,1,14,1,0,4,1,24,22,15,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,12,9,0,1,3,1,2,0,2,6,1,0,2,2,25,8,9,18,3,11,0,2,1,1,5,3,0,1,8,85,37,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256312337286068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159070577299257,0.0,0.0984547524370738,0.1442722743402136,0.0,0.12534709499933475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043222905321493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127590703890087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762525357538385,0.0,0.0,0.14549012452499582,0.0,0.09300096260828926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773517930038964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869403287178022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356526616230638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261533338072942,0.15523899120616835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901666559322534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773308776283181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27945623894644256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738323494760872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182414850295358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708281347546502,0.0,0.09398902518841948,0.14275507246280192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795987662781795,0.13510704935263496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310707887246268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902882977756215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197449554586444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839925354959898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244776592484301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307055444215748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935451769100282,0.0,0.13834107236441054,0.0,0.08210504699767412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660140553784854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050167303387447,0.4289856496118615,0.0,0.1000244645906872,0.1539491370255227,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ellebellewhite,2019/01/16,"I need help from somone, anyone. I'm 18, girl, I just need someones input please, I don't know what to do anymore. I've had extreme social anxiety all my life, when i was young it took friendships away from me, it took relationships away from me, it forced me to act like somone I'm not. I wouldn't talk to anyone but close friends. It forced me to become closed off to everyone.

Fast forward to a year ago, I got extreme depression, I watched my cousin die in a car accident, I had bulimia, I lost 20 pounds, I couldn't get out of bed. I looked for a different way to kill my self every single day. I tried to kill myself, failed and never told anyone. 

Fast forward to the present, I feel nothing anymore, I hadn't felt joy for years but now I don't even fell sadness. I feel nothing. I feel like a 2d charecter in a video game, being controlled by somone else. Aimlessly wandering. I'm on anti deppresents, but they just make me tired and numb. I don't even have the energy to kill myself anymore. Which makes me want to die even more. Killing my self was always an easy way out for me. A safe haven. Now that I don't feel sadness, I don't think I can kill my self. And that scares the hell out of me. There's no way out anymore. Help me. ",1.2056108597285091,3.3183633725490225,2.487549019607844,94.6966628959276,81.94117647058823,5.648567119155357,21.57239819004525,6.8449194561589275,0.3683755656108598,960,30,215,11,26,308,134,255,0.302,0.583,0.116,-0.997,1,0,0,0,0,3,39.0,0,0,1,3,9,18,6,1,10,0,16,3,0,3,2,33,38,7,7,5,6,1,5,2,1,1,3,0,1,4,8,9,0,2,7,2,0,7,11,13,0,0,11,7,38,5,30,24,3,34,1,5,2,0,14,14,1,0,16,123,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972271953365083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483384582266021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880069196703288,0.0,0.35676885366640115,0.1886557476220119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689954148070841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932709902218348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087072206263686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058001193902940465,0.0,0.07746163032466634,0.0,0.1866784614747227,0.09396383897393104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512987642614705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782053755266651,0.0,0.07577484671452814,0.08593757488217924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818971061782572,0.06425020124027556,0.08635253599335102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948422762474314,0.0,0.04698777845769808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192992850945228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056423155180343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4975035577540885,0.0,0.049426400388955564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635243624684051,0.08787624340348593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075523477218435,0.0,0.09817562264439036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006577895782335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337261137672615,0.06936408487705369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259177963275546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872257455599014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655746342719099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004149214530388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814681701924517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167829035223862,0.07620236812030891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228704305561609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762727201970237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033680488316954,0.0,0.08593757488217924,0.19984411445707545,0.06106055003876978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530465044199819,0.21416071478185109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583149916301805
mentalhealth,n8xx_,2019/01/16,"Should I get help? I’m a 19 year old kid going to school full time with a job, living on my own (with roommates). I have been extremely depressed for the last 6-7 months, when my girlfriend of four years left me. Even while I was with her I was depressed, not anything about her I just had a rough home life through high school. I would occasionally have thoughts about suicide, sometimes once a week, sometimes a couple times a week, sometimes once a month. These past 6-7 months suicidal thoughts have dominated my mind, I’m pretty much at the point in my life where I’m waiting for it to end. I’ve been to talk to a therapist during my freshman and sophomore year for family related problems. I thought it was the biggest waste of time, I never really got my point across and felt like anything she would tell me I could’ve read online. I don’t really sleep at night. Some nights I won’t sleep and at max I get 5 hours if I’m lucky. I just want to stop feeling like... I don’t even know how to put it into words what I feel it’s just too much. What should I do?",2.6013353720693138,4.196741834862387,3.369113149847095,92.47891946992864,75.60550458715595,6.4958205912334375,24.037716615698265,7.1686216300943375,0.7207117227319064,832,26,185,9,18,263,125,218,0.118,0.815,0.068,-0.9223,1,0,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,0,11,0,17,4,2,1,1,33,34,7,2,7,5,0,4,2,1,5,2,0,1,1,7,7,0,2,7,1,0,2,5,3,0,1,11,4,27,3,24,18,5,38,0,2,0,0,8,14,0,3,24,108,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695181122408576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099103161370999,0.11224066263289967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473905115733912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984511629507222,0.0,0.0,0.1339994097729481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562794978744504,0.0,0.10258152200203946,0.07246826044286593,0.09739764152435637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599570121718567,0.0,0.057650295244015,0.0,0.08113027962925894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799262853291424,0.1071761961459426,0.10175189472843796,0.0,0.09989728297364962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066285881876877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05574838968589727,0.08268657327723151,0.0,0.0,0.11021410272763603,0.0,0.14329916342555116,0.09911624198481944,0.0,0.08957276561260383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242478191908698,0.0,0.24290365867782884,0.0,0.1491391232662913,0.0,0.07823624628743384,0.0,0.0,0.1903878339036721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644348767194893,0.2160591004427854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683529563087588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917858644177247,0.0,0.0,0.10320024224512908,0.0,0.09706371612153496,0.0,0.10197452020919584,0.0,0.0,0.1014667568719398,0.0,0.1299692337934525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20532398642531224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20302512841744094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30097820215783755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480780192992167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22191627289862664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153307167410488,0.08866242452316664,0.0,0.0,0.11777885264771208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415944341437965,0.1774502251671513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059831530854118777,0.0,0.16273698502516365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411914502928588,0.0,0.0,0.1959707616504237
mentalhealth,Chiisapeake,2019/01/16,"Can I be forced into a mental hospital against my will if my mom tries to get me put into one? I'm 19 tomorrow, if that changes much. I have hallucinations and have been in the ward against my will before since I straight up told my doctors that I was a danger to myself. I have severe depression, severe OCD, and a dissociative disorder as well, which possibly get me put into the hospital, I guess.

My mom is angry at me and keeps threatening to call the cops on me and have me put into a mental hospital/treatment center for months even though she has no proof that I'm actively suicidal, which I make jokes about but wouldn't do because I have loved ones that I couldn't do that to. The only way I'm a danger to myself right now is because my OCD keeps me from eating foods that are ""contaminated""...which isn't an issue if I buy packaged things from a clean store and I'm not underweight right now or anything. 

I've been more depressed and haven't been leaving my room lately and I had a few small visual hallucinations, but that's because I'm a little more stressed out with her around and why would I leave my room much if she's just going to yell at me when I leave it? Every time I am away from her I do far better, so I just want to be allowed to live somewhere else (I can't afford it because I can't get a job).

​

If I haven't told my doctors of any actively suicidal thoughts and am not a danger to others right now and appear pretty calm and collected overall to them, and my mom has no proof of any of these, can I still be deemed incompetent and be put into a hospital if my mom claims I need to be or tells someone I'm threatening suicide?

​

I refuse to go because every time I've gone to those, they don't help at all, they do those weak generalized treatments that can't do anything for me and having so many mentally ill people around me there makes me far worse and its crazy expensive, which I can't afford. There might be better centers that are more specialized, but those are even more expensive. I don't have much money and don't want to be in debt over something like that and won't get a good job any time soon to pay it off and if anyone else would be forced to pay for it, I would die of guilt. 

​

I don't feel like my life is in danger at the moment, and it would be a better route to convince my dad to let me live with him instead or for her to leave me alone. I would rather use the money spent on a useless psych ward to actually pay for specialized treatments if I had to spend money anyways. 

​

Sorry for the wall text, I'm pretty scared right now. Anyways, thanks to anyone that replies!",9.777292491858113,5.9288697060998174,9.354370213889622,73.88112138016021,61.73567467652497,12.375002200510519,37.96153507613767,9.725611199111238,3.3747749493882586,2105,66,437,28,21,683,222,541,0.212,0.691,0.097,-0.9966,6,1,1,0,0,1,58.0,0,0,3,3,24,25,4,3,22,0,62,8,0,4,3,74,93,38,4,19,19,5,1,2,0,10,5,1,3,0,26,29,2,3,2,1,13,8,18,11,1,2,11,2,64,14,62,61,9,58,0,3,0,1,21,35,0,14,16,305,90,8,0.0,0.0,0.057066491606066624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605659955946679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25344532702882505,0.28423067103256633,0.11930197036130905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177892657576201,0.05991804071483165,0.0962454959045768,0.10411636436735046,0.0,0.0,0.0549423902797242,0.0,0.0,0.1782394768532864,0.0,0.049760818950288416,0.0,0.0,0.15515820178138431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059712993902643764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186240279851461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073473602487663,0.0,0.0606913560280378,0.0,0.06702132308566658,0.11971025917899684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059838011593441036,0.0977024139260798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724887528897552,0.0,0.0985411635298726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029568440687597012,0.041776987099014035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071232432845047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221022045347688,0.0,0.06646925497990654,0.049048915009082636,0.0,0.0,0.06442056046598435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03919684490408167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061036265864706535,0.11606159520103587,0.10395659374147984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596619253148618,0.24768076620872256,0.0,0.0597981352715336,0.0413050297133088,0.05713919359175387,0.05861072868217183,0.10327501310373026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05277904730344875,0.0,0.07806958424606089,0.05928792821207176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679744611551407,0.062036350719593535,0.0,0.2739568235567709,0.04667690817502783,0.0,0.12896507775772367,0.0433609993220887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925296679023057,0.04447546520901453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04054156570636869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592561964434401,0.0,0.11898713071190635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351478116997969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997609671805512,0.0,0.0,0.058547089084793676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321279139839828,0.0,0.048373944252807936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954856620559296,0.04501953627157754,0.0,0.06546179121661698,0.0,0.0,0.04670093299484771,0.0,0.06698681997146631,0.0,0.0,0.19189766416270884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051112707036646964,0.05383906221722618,0.0,0.0,0.03885045650249989,0.0,0.05745473996561073,0.04642532467197088,0.10229769173733512,0.0,0.0,0.11175725173986883,0.0,0.039703001111058414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050506569569039664,0.0,0.0,0.06898416154414119,0.04641743914595218,0.0,0.0,0.05257911269689695,0.0,0.05276766841925482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959449475673381,0.2077069197540717,0.0,0.28423067103256633,0.0
mentalhealth,Bobbyateallthepies,2019/01/16,"Life m It should be illegal 

 we don’t ask for this life yet we are forced to play ball in society 
Society condemns us to a life of pain as we are force fed what we think we need but only want and can live without  

We get absorbed into fake people and situations and expect not to get hurt fully knowing what we are doing the world has turned us all into weakens pathetic  creatures

We seek dominance over others however we can’t control ourselves 

We can no longer fight our minds as they control us but yet it itself  doesn’t know what it wants as the diseases inside fight for control 

We lose all and yet we lose nothing 
Why can’t we chose what we want instead of being the mans bitch 

We sit and we watch as we destroy our own lives yet do nothing as we are too weak
 
We have turned into a new race that can’t even understand what happiness is anymore as each day we forget what that feeling once was as we were children without a doubt or a care in the world 

It’s unfair we are set up for failure and then force fed it like a wounded animal ready to be put down 

There is now gold at the end of the rainbow or sun over the hill because eventually the world will forget you and everyone you thought you loved as it turns it’s head away from you because it doesn’t follow you it follows time 

So just let me cash in my ticket so I can get of this ride ",2.7063493788819883,4.301241296428575,3.8235403726708084,89.3327639751553,75.32142857142857,6.583850931677017,25.388198757763966,7.255503002510835,1.0642996894409942,1073,37,226,12,23,348,156,280,0.204,0.701,0.095,-0.9901,1,0,0,0,2,0,0.0,27,5,1,5,12,16,4,1,13,0,28,10,1,3,2,62,51,22,0,6,8,0,1,1,0,2,6,0,0,2,21,33,2,3,6,3,1,4,10,11,0,0,5,2,36,5,34,40,4,31,0,3,1,1,39,15,1,3,11,162,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651710301938504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004093683198445,0.0,0.10091072594381648,0.0,0.0,0.13094643250531324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950676498646753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613922117864801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926747200845873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512913234313497,0.0,0.0,0.0709401251389549,0.0,0.0,0.10263027641443766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430729896571716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834436035082675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143348382350118,0.0,0.0,0.11022872704171052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497949368243605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805418388973148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982909934597196,0.22759041856097184,0.052472758063785985,0.0,0.1896815280714229,0.0,0.0,0.2403179030894784,0.0,0.0,0.09693739116369544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844863957209856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963959880456932,0.0,0.10373261656428356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611638244218775,0.0,0.0,0.11438303831928892,0.0,0.08168649849562279,0.11428671107070852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446124577944258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797189684466292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072795086046295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882091872502309,0.0,0.08526773573145446,0.06262883894102432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504780635604353,0.0,0.11181260656675893,0.38758571257035385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19005111857902973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969164919734965,0.0,0.0,0.20706957029371045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LWsandman,2019/01/16,"I've stopped caring, about my life, about whwat I do. About a year ago I came out of an abusive time. People had mentally and verbally abused me for several years and i got out at the end. The first 3 years I went through a stage where I  had several suicidal thoughts, daily panic attacks and restless nights. This all came to an end when I met my now girlfriend who helped me see things otherwise through hours upon hours of talking, support and caring. Now we are a while later and somehow I have fallen into this weird new swing of feelings. I don't feel like I am going to have suicidal thoughts or panic attacks but I still feel like I don't care. It's like I don't care about dying, losing things or people,... It's like I have lost the ability to care about where my life is going, what I am doing with it or even if I live it anymore. I don't necessarily want to die but I wouldn't care a bit if I dropped dead in a hour. What is going on? Why am I feeling this way? What do I do with it? ",2.236925904977376,3.689103524038465,3.7615723981900473,89.88636877828057,76.25961538461539,6.624886877828053,24.735294117647058,7.285733465282438,0.95665463800905,775,26,170,9,17,257,109,208,0.303,0.648,0.048,-0.9945,0,0,0,0,1,1,22.0,1,0,0,3,13,19,2,3,10,0,20,2,0,0,1,31,44,14,5,4,7,0,4,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,14,13,0,1,6,0,0,7,5,8,0,1,10,5,26,11,24,33,2,39,0,2,1,0,6,9,0,6,24,117,40,0,0.0,0.20947342768814756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835914831546732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766667670871588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20113008742315175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650729614896272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022066345915175,0.540763533255623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348552753304667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658809063157733,0.0,0.0,0.058385788196856934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878595216712428,0.12630254155241866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519096253854607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071519792393226,0.0,0.07069964458518037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05925105513818061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26116152071224163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487569338891345,0.17274642988949546,0.0,0.07805670980380675,0.0,0.0,0.0988943151863024,0.09649643440108624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908400028721876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537496329425365,0.0,0.08295516946226336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074310997511941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256754598154322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044145088351261,0.0,0.0,0.19972827751609484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059444612579155,0.07390436076265508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19338527727621135,0.1003125611100618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105065107181496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745488934153485,0.0,0.0,0.14035565763919133,0.051545357697963375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0521392011182951,0.07016590883628908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194547077488101,0.07976509432515383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17077548926350974
mentalhealth,Georgia_sh,2019/01/16,Self harm leads to trauma? (Bit of a tw) Could a history of self - harm (specifically cutting and scratching) be classed as a traumatic experience? Despite it being self inflicted could the memory of it (particularly with the blood and stuff) be classed as traumatic? Because if someone else did it to you then it would but I was just curious if the same terms applied even thought it was self inflicted. I have been looking everywhere for answers but I can’t find any and I’m just genuinely curious now.,4.261763285024156,6.9971805869565245,5.327101449275363,75.07683574879229,74.65217391304347,9.741062801932367,35.22222222222222,9.994966539143718,4.358394685990337,402,23,69,13,9,132,61,92,0.136,0.802,0.062,-0.6111,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,4,4,1,0,6,0,12,1,1,1,0,18,15,10,0,5,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,5,2,4,0,9,4,3,4,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,3,50,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126753296485176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362314228269065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034923424942429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976385000125759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557070223004391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311049301611625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823276378412752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703593746852786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652276179393465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7777921423150755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792976638153775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337482658890805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797483037569284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240788916667626,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wobbar,2019/01/16,"Paranoia/Delusion? I'll just hurry and write this post before I get time to regret it. 

I believe I suffer from a few symptoms and I fear I might be tilting toward the things mentioned in the title of this post. It feels like at least many of my friends don't enjoy my company and are being nice as some part of a plot against me. I also feel superior to people in a narcissistic way I really diskuke but can't quit. That has lead to an idea that I'm unknowingly being the biggest douche on the planet and that's why people dislike me. Now I'm desperate enough to subconsciously want a mental disorder simply to be special or have others' compassion and I absolutely hate that part of myself, too. *Did I just write that last part to have your compassion?*

I could go on for days pointing out what my subconscious labels as symptoms, but it'd all end in a mess of gibberish, so if there's anything you'd like to know it's better to ask directly.

On a side-note, I feel terrible for writing this and even more so since I know my friends use reddit and might find my account, by the way. I'll most likely delete this post sooner than later.",4.872922173274597,5.633981255506612,5.854731277533041,80.04118649045523,69.04405286343612,8.696505139500735,29.230249632892804,8.841846274778883,2.241372628487518,903,32,175,15,15,299,139,227,0.145,0.736,0.119,-0.8054,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,3,9,16,1,1,12,0,16,2,0,2,1,35,29,16,0,4,6,0,3,3,2,2,2,0,0,0,16,8,0,0,7,0,1,2,2,6,0,0,1,3,22,10,30,19,10,24,0,2,0,0,9,11,0,7,9,124,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018566623216617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309404049510296,0.0,0.11711906486207972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660330305777084,0.14114666644528548,0.0,0.11079920008902107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002518249672504,0.0,0.0,0.08079466769623765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358072409080952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096011465463072,0.1294468191851541,0.0,0.08274567658873781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097383858548554,0.190034660405083,0.08949942767232058,0.0,0.0,0.11450284517764307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358067320011668,0.0,0.06545316899212462,0.0,0.07119901040742567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368719343337707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414248763665251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770025498197214,0.10211920279681752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836151484069296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701336336873562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625188602650478,0.26580269520747746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40699523266965854,0.0,0.1737055340568305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842926128025605,0.0,0.3599482970724709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324976400792368,0.0,0.0,0.08025701161058531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363218186649052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26042594639576283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322987997054927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305126177873691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820093510831404,0.0,0.0,0.0738928702783506,0.19888146685788805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304491901086727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jocelinekamajaya,2019/01/16,"Confused and stressed out student who is unsure of what to do for her future I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, but I thought I might try. I'm currently doing a pre-undergraduate course in the UK. I'm an international student and the only family I have here is my sister, who lives in a different city. For the past few months, everything has been going downhill for me. I felt that no aspect in my life here is enjoyable. School stresses me out so much (not academically but I don't like my classmates and other students), my flatmate is incredibly loud and disturbing, and I don't even enjoy time with my ""friends"". Deep down I know the reason might be the school I'm attending is unenjoyable and maybe uni life will be better. 

The problem is, I'm so frustrated and drained out, that the slightest hope of escaping this city is enough to keep me going. I just don't see myself studying in this city for 3 or 4 years. I know that it MIGHT get better, but certainly there is no guarantee. I was planning to move to the same university as my sister, but the system is quite complicated and I might end up with no university to go to. So right now, I am unsure if the problem is the city or only the school/course I'm doing. Does anybody have any suggestions on what I should be doing? I am so confused and nobody has been much of a help so far. Thank you :)",3.338501498501497,4.9896704175824205,4.8099850149850125,82.67933316683319,73.76190476190476,7.8940392940392945,26.328504828504826,8.575989854853784,1.823499633699634,1076,38,217,20,22,360,139,273,0.175,0.715,0.11,-0.9548,2,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,4,11,18,1,5,17,0,36,2,0,1,2,44,54,23,0,6,11,2,1,1,1,6,2,1,0,0,12,14,0,1,5,0,0,5,8,8,0,0,5,3,26,10,27,40,5,30,0,0,1,0,9,15,0,11,9,156,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789803715091664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262061607249846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196805368384966,0.0,0.0,0.10024361728862832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145744180794014,0.11836093686077155,0.0,0.07565930058283464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295029791275036,0.0,0.10798769650325964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998611782897752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850116975578966,0.0,0.05984773091514301,0.0,0.1953044878606616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767805578891036,0.0,0.0,0.11377415594232344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101817445807871,0.0,0.0,0.12590754479892668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182033185449587,0.05596342220967265,0.0,0.10114989027194858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508103268994367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.486078471806641,0.0,0.0,0.09143284514320436,0.12174869207429295,0.16841509637966684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424111759413355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935108970372746,0.0,0.0,0.1196805368384966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970738905526564,0.0,0.0,0.219218066293564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183819582229925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777664317312385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19565042214650905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477926335378839,0.0912816469637652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26243364338187064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079621705128821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546239737868092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090940031964805,0.0667951197056869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777203962815192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376654761032009
mentalhealth,Clare_G101,2019/01/16,"Why is it that even though I know my life is great and I know I should be happy...I'm not? If you saw my life from the outside with my opportunities, you would call me stupid/selfish/attention seeker for being depressed. But on the inside I know there's so much more, and even if I want to talk to people about it, I feel like I can't. I find it so hard to even tell people that I'm not okay. And I know I should be happy and grateful, but I can't help but feeling like I don't deserve this life and I should give it to someone else. I don't have any friends that really care about me and I feel like everyone's my friend out of pitty and when it all comes down to it they'd leave me, like yea. idk. I don't know how to start talking to people let alone letting people in or even starting to feel happy. I've tried therapists, but my mind completly shuts down even if I don't want it do, and all I can mutter out is ""I don't know"" even if I can explain it fully in my head.",3.4131527627302285,3.179915075117372,4.7051643192488255,90.51165763813654,71.95774647887325,7.680606717226436,24.36583604189238,7.010146845296331,0.6353058143734196,753,17,183,6,13,251,105,213,0.085,0.741,0.174,0.9674,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,1,14,13,0,0,2,2,24,4,1,1,2,45,44,22,0,10,11,0,5,4,2,4,3,0,0,0,12,12,0,0,12,0,0,1,9,1,0,0,1,6,32,12,21,33,4,12,0,1,1,0,12,8,0,5,7,125,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911295606382146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164300981405737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757622682771543,0.0,0.10741344102632076,0.0,0.0,0.09075146654235,0.110459624857061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073957026598176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800812315041166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41750423084571575,0.0,0.0,0.10066840294770366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21307665715350807,0.22579058660177634,0.0,0.0,0.09628986930467323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278947211688474,0.0,0.0,0.10106329056989677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615101213841147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22429844230222715,0.09437474768259012,0.0,0.10812160210343476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061526148240209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34739240413276185,0.0,0.0,0.11155261420141346,0.0,0.2154592273277424,0.22323981541483395,0.20587876938815192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637554266626223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744588210475796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921513984369793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749122387987437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926445399491098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913745300102696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935598166919624,0.0920823393132438,0.0,0.0,0.1223218554168613,0.0,0.0,0.10350785875759437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152712959306427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427874277902745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506384282614418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748390769003489,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SaltProfessor0,2019/01/16,"What is wrong with me? I don't really know how to word this so please bear with me on this. All I know is something is wrong with me, I just don't know what it is or how to get help. So to start, I will say I'm 15 male, and I'll just go over everything I'm dealing with. I have been dealing with dark and suicidal thoughts for the past 5 years. I have had around 10 planned suicides, and got really close (seconds away) from acting on 3. I have also be struggling with self harm (12 current cuts on my arm). I deal with tics (if you could call them that), where I am aware of what I am doing and can stop, but it just feels really weird to stop so I just have to keep going (tics can be muscle contracting, shaking arm/shoulder or leg, making certain sounds, breathing patterns). I have the belief that I might act out one day and cause an issue, like I can't trust myself and that I could snap at any moment and might hurt other people. I have been struggling in school with grades and paying attention. I can get great grades in some classes (high 90s), while just barely pass in others. My mind is always racing, I always hear music playing (songs I can recognize), yet I don't ""feel"" the sound if thta makes any sense. Also, I'm ot sure if this is an everyone thing, but I can cause myself to ""see"" things (for example I could cause myself to see someone walk by, while nothing was actually there, withotu actually seeing anything). As for the music, It goes on non-stop until I can get my full focus on something else, and I can get it to end when i listen to actual music. I am really forgetful, and forget things as basic as eating or cleaning myself. If anyone can help me that would be great. I am struggling a lot and I don't know what is normal and what is not. I just need to see what can be done if anything.",4.498748531139839,4.6875290135135135,5.386075205640423,85.09971210340777,69.67567567567568,8.164512338425382,25.546415981198592,7.893859768569023,1.2535499412455926,1405,35,297,16,23,461,188,370,0.114,0.807,0.079,-0.8474,1,0,2,0,0,1,58.0,0,1,1,1,18,17,1,4,7,0,49,4,3,7,3,76,77,36,2,11,17,0,2,1,0,4,0,6,1,2,22,23,1,3,9,2,1,7,6,10,0,2,7,12,42,7,41,59,4,38,1,1,4,0,13,17,0,12,15,209,64,5,0.0,0.0,0.24285362424003884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267668294164525,0.13804886656321144,0.0,0.0,0.11282322725965725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058003415975644436,0.0,0.13652826635144266,0.07384671143459458,0.0,0.0,0.07793808139896957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470538241358408,0.0,0.0,0.2556500483267972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19869622956158964,0.0,0.0,0.053498513871576316,0.2565660174360465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489081677512815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488272524326554,0.06929748278768234,0.0,0.07347268578863021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926617078981911,0.0745537710748529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388814266790241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733603154321467,0.0,0.094289421679286,0.0,0.06634594944000519,0.1829143146406436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934952681509679,0.0,0.11120473183506488,0.08764553164570099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880404985713145,0.0,0.0,0.08658249910557997,0.0,0.07373339077288993,0.0,0.0,0.18235755431210665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04052716944560232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052458561558575,0.0,0.0,0.11074497452286217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760023227042963,0.08375996525169839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061509393339094776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127737781989132,0.07959666944316908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562118261087587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791890482479868,0.05750990868758572,0.0,0.0,0.09105866050204893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125700109360113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596840764960392,0.0,0.08395394965014563,0.2644146213870935,0.0,0.08653918878892068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028671607610883,0.12772419491086204,0.0,0.0,0.058715319179540475,0.0,0.0,0.2080599560856692,0.0,0.2601648221899714,0.0,0.1814765817266685,0.0,0.07818323121301801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533299839321236,0.0,0.0,0.0658562671706867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058928192736078175,0.1813945109392279,0.0,0.05341970266256919
mentalhealth,canttaketheshyfromme,2019/01/16,"Resources for teens fighting depression with clueless parents? Just wondering, there's this nice kid my partner and I are kinda mentoring since we met through Reddit. Sweet kid, too damn smart and talented... and as a teenager is showing really clear signs of clinical depression and gender dysphoria becoming issues that could derail her life without proper support.

But, her mom's into chiropractic woo and weird Catholic mysticism and just refuses any talk of seeing mental health professionals. Just wondering if anyone can suggest resources that might work as an end-run, especially in New York state. Not expecting anything but figured I'd ask.",9.718838451268358,11.607882672897198,8.567690253671568,60.8620560747664,58.719626168224295,12.095594125500668,43.32309746328438,11.765960540728905,6.132547129506007,534,30,68,16,7,165,89,107,0.13,0.782,0.08900000000000001,-0.3934,1,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,5,10,2,0,2,0,5,4,0,0,1,27,11,11,0,3,8,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,3,3,9,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,2,5,5,10,8,0,4,0,2,1,0,14,2,1,5,1,40,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251478079663248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625403456645924,0.0,0.16035716871019629,0.0,0.18217233074845915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21521291803953965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558372712782953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.335673621043706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259241892474408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20713222419071506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20338827683762206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763880701251094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637793698166645,0.20672081254316044,0.0,0.2282233582024357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18820168725647676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21637435619826006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248354132713048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15528205691145067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611942183230265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22113032352194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662498578534434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18784276247673515,0.4226452367955703,0.1418639322674225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,derekaldrich,2019/01/16,"Mother-in-Law Crisis My mother-in-law had a rough year in 2018, she had seen a doctor at the beginning of the year and was prescribed cymbalta. 

There have been several diagnosis thrown around as neither my wife nor I live in the same state as her so we truly cannot say 100% but bipolar depression was mentioned as was paranoid schizophrenia, I wouldn’t hold water to either of these diagnosis but her behavior has been worrisome. 

About April of 2018 she began obsessing over leaving her hometown and on a whim taking a solo trip up the coast of California to the Pacific Northwest. She was unmoved in her determination. My wife speaks with her mother most days after work and after dinner. She had been able to sway her away from leaving for the time being but as weeks went on her obsession grew and grew. She “needed to do this”. 

It began every Friday, she would begin packing her car and then by Saturday my wife would talk her out of leaving. Her son lives there, her daughter in law, and she lived there with her partner/my father-in-law. My father in law endured much of the brunt of her anger and frustration, often being ridiculed endlessly from Thursday through Sunday...then Monday everything seemed fine. She was removed a little emotionally but she was a still very much herself. 

My wife began expressing fears that perhaps this medication wasn’t the right fit for her, she had become angry and removed and her will to move up north had continued to grow. When this was addressed she lashed out “the meds opened my eyes”. Well these cycles continued and before long September/October came and without a warning my wife received a text from her father stating “she packed her car and is leaving” 

There was no getting a hold of her as she had turned her phone off. 

She now is staying in and out of hotels, acting irrationally (lashing out, lying), and losing weight. She hasn’t been eating and sleeping right. She refuses to see a doctor. Obviously we are all out of our minds stressed out, hoping wishing and praying for her to be safe. I just don’t know what there is that we can do. She is not accepting communication anymore and hasn’t reached out to us outside of text in about a week. My wife is seeking someone to talk to as she has been worn thin. Just hoping for some words of advice or encouragement or really anything...we’re so lost. ",5.995765151515151,7.264791288636367,6.060000000000002,77.73833333333336,66.79545454545455,8.684848484848485,31.03030303030303,8.936278230431713,2.617857575757576,1877,72,329,31,30,594,224,440,0.132,0.789,0.08,-0.9813,0,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,5,0,0,3,17,17,3,4,20,0,43,10,2,0,2,67,63,34,0,7,11,11,3,0,0,4,4,2,1,0,9,32,4,4,3,1,0,13,11,10,1,0,28,8,56,7,68,28,8,70,1,3,3,0,65,30,0,8,24,245,65,3,0.10563458458756192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322489349022697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047611230512417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403717611540653,0.0,0.0,0.09924716949790097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666509938914868,0.08988725112922824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081782339373978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812556812783357,0.0,0.090982912917394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21624294689195667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809055173602863,0.0,0.11882468963462732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900169349729588,0.0,0.09493755326996617,0.0,0.0,0.11886827582366473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05518971054030629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098379550037614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805400510627535,0.0,0.0,0.4474070905931919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587360495784008,0.27983182051836586,0.09348328323347203,0.0,0.11817807987319863,0.11531262753220367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173362098643348,0.1064157306500281,0.0,0.0,0.1066608173983548,0.0,0.0,0.11227284596250184,0.15530714828588066,0.078326705980716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767221981492061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042271612042726,0.0,0.08400486152579872,0.0,0.0,0.08417708736051567,0.09616575845097976,0.0,0.11933701289486605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571087262122256,0.0,0.0895038407238575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259241204163037,0.08435991570538262,0.0,0.12100405974304597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942406122358896,0.16981015544907094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061596375763833915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490009429669913,0.0,0.0,0.12706539881548892,0.0,0.0,0.08715959523339417,0.0,0.0,0.16946738395244912,0.12863446590487304,0.09497817774782777,0.09792431822028612,0.0,0.0,0.1214745590499798,0.10182796996346803,0.0,0.07690323568157546,0.0,0.0,0.15007955617341773,0.0,0.0,0.13605041821698144
mentalhealth,Taye_Carrol,2019/01/16,"How Feeling Bad Changes the Brain  

Our emotional state has an effect on how much empathy we feel. Our emotions literally change the way our brain responds to others, even when they are in pain. In particular, it is when we feel bad that it can have a consequence on our social world.  The article includes links to other related articles including:    

* **How emotions trick your mind and body**
* **When personalities go from bad to good**
* **Why happy music makes you do bad things**

See full article [here.](http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20180115-how-feeling-bad-changes-the-brain)

​",3.909318181818179,6.328045083333336,3.1972348484848503,79.91215909090909,108.58333333333334,6.745454545454546,27.28030303030303,7.348242739294969,2.895329166666668,472,22,69,12,22,139,69,96,0.177,0.757,0.065,-0.9136,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,6,2,1,1,7,8,1,0,5,0,6,4,3,5,0,13,12,7,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,4,9,2,8,12,2,12,0,0,1,0,12,6,0,0,3,44,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137353983545351,0.15403801431166664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5292334250250136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408116015784699,0.0,0.42454784619577135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682092443581461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4277936420614418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372962224024008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922944011607195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204565230546517,0.10632768722239856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349477858343898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461918407125545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280003891458252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318968250297567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134890982025844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068966007137082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101835146328372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922486646889147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421958338283878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062320339321673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438915910981536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403801431166664,0.0
mentalhealth,grazzberry,2019/01/16,"Opening (and answering) messages is extremely difficult for me - any suggestions on how to fix it? I get extremely scared when I get texts or emails from certain people, or people that I think are upset with me, or people that I think have bad news. I *know* this just makes whatever issue there may be worse, but it is so damn hard for me to open the messages. I wouldn’t say I get panic attacks but I do get a bunch of adrenaline and my heart beats super fast and I get all shaky, and then it preys on my mind until I open it.

Any tips on how to basically make myself open a text/email? Has anyone experienced this and found a way to make it easier?",1.801285965942455,3.9745392519084,3.4728244274809192,88.11226658837349,80.14503816793894,7.084204345273048,20.763945977686433,8.139509932561175,1.0271134468584844,506,14,106,10,13,168,83,131,0.198,0.727,0.075,-0.9375,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,2,4,4,0,9,1,1,5,2,33,21,16,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,9,10,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,1,3,16,2,13,17,2,12,0,0,0,0,5,7,1,5,4,70,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418229258145732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432329848346432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20227545306136585,0.0,0.0,0.14845725034760374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194950725076483,0.0,0.0,0.4644710548105532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592756757906202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106962362196027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855791025181548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771533397696022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560526640947496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952934298428275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20861234745508495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697965761116051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139529365208972,0.17801082837357987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278566955017273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113095838777176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119543676692312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adinamazz727,2019/01/16,Break up I have recently ended an 8 yr relationship. I am emotional and just want to escape it. How do I cope? I'm not good at handling negative feelings. I don't want to distract or mood alter. What do people mean when they say process your feelings?,1.38826666666667,3.9329323600000015,3.4720000000000013,85.01266666666669,85.4,6.533333333333335,26.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.9157333333333333,198,9,38,4,6,67,41,50,0.122,0.716,0.162,-0.3975,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,10,11,4,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,6,1,4,11,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3631488311206856,0.28593827762601115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32647276699141764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27078084992928064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516647738691745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238149328563427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31876316842645946,0.34660674840923617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25673340587172777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.380835944915853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sick_bag,2019/01/16,"I don't know anymore I've been feeling really lonely, I suffer from depression and anxiety, but these days weren't bad at all, I was doing great, but now I feel weird, like even my dreams are more vivid than reality, I don't feel like time it's passing at all, just one week ago everything was going great and now it's like I'm alone, when I wake up I have no new texts, and this applies for naps and even nightsleeps, and I have this weird sensation like something is wrong. I'm posting this bc I even feel I can't even talk to my friends about it...",4.47750310559006,4.486019234782611,5.079751552795031,87.90434782608696,69.69565217391303,8.6583850931677,27.732919254658388,8.418075326091056,1.5609875776397515,432,13,98,6,7,139,72,115,0.159,0.568,0.273,0.9661,0,3,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,9,14,0,0,0,0,12,1,1,0,2,15,20,8,0,0,3,0,4,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,5,2,0,2,5,7,0,1,4,5,12,7,8,16,3,14,0,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,12,59,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267392726023246,0.0,0.0,0.17838117033072912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175757051783318,0.0,0.1708085923686699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380713919273566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107586533354992,0.0,0.14834380190273405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550323872490964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479167619305445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483441824357729,0.1230430999844734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306658348045527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978838321562341,0.0,0.0,0.37977439577807215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946546066398716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365768571811766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634344828961106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670935835708734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649513501847277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033670003132708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325931735955433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843414798051387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004302925817806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815471074684926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18830945769538213,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SAKlein20,2019/01/16,"Tribal Instincts and the Connection to Mental Health I have been hearing a lot recently about the connection between our primal tribal instincts and mental health. The first exposure I had to this concept was an excellent book by Sebastian Junger, called Tribe. Social Chain CEO, Steven Bartlett, also published a podcast recently where he talks about this concept. 

The idea that we see more mental illness as a result of our lack of tribe nowadays is compelling. What is it about modern society that causes us to continue to move farther from the ""tribe"" even though so many are unhappy and depressed? Bartlett stated on the podcast that when asked most people now day they have ZERO people they can rely on in a crisis. It is interesting that, as Junger pointed out in his book, that many veterans don't experience PTSD while in service. It doesn't manifest until they are home. Some soldiers have experienced other mental health issues at home, that decrease when deployed with their fellow soldiers. 

What are people's thoughts on this?",8.862651515151512,9.993718305555557,7.574040404040407,69.90590909090912,60.38888888888889,9.87878787878788,37.47474747474747,9.800150414767053,3.9952777777777775,845,38,122,15,11,256,116,180,0.086,0.87,0.044,-0.8317,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,4,0,4,2,11,3,0,0,11,0,15,4,0,3,0,15,19,12,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,2,0,15,6,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,4,3,11,2,24,15,5,24,0,1,1,0,16,11,0,3,11,95,26,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093324520533413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799299976255828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887854811869565,0.0,0.0,0.1296564874471236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139755229026563,0.0,0.10870788479617144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336311948515923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346145553019047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735751606488336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4024785604818298,0.14225228753978808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532057528450559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248017966320115,0.0,0.13173456584768242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073025815104724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559222577717366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5087758777954909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341454479008731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625025703055982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931297278181725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753734606887045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492420857501052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057617218270856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865922114148376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144598707527457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400455889680767,0.10019977309156096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181983400064333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QuietCat30,2019/01/16,"Get criticized for using medication? It frustrates me because I get bad physical anxiety symptoms for something as small as talking to my brother. How the hell do I even work on something like that? Exposure does nothing, I talk to my family all the time and I still get rapid heart beat, sweating, and trembling voice. I want to try Propranolol to control these physical symptoms, it has zero recreational value, and people hate on me for it. ""You don't need a crutch"" is the response I get. I'm getting so angry I don't know what to do. Should I suffer to please the people around me? I would happily take 10 years off my life to get rid of these physical symptoms. These physical symptoms are obvious in public and extremely humiliating.",5.081214333112143,7.14556103649635,5.976761778367621,74.395096217651,70.02189781021897,9.361380225613805,34.352355673523554,9.800150414767053,3.8270350364963495,590,30,98,15,11,194,88,137,0.21,0.711,0.079,-0.9685,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,3,5,7,3,1,5,0,9,8,2,3,2,15,22,8,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,2,6,1,0,0,8,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,0,1,16,1,18,20,1,9,1,1,0,0,5,6,1,0,4,66,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666159037484203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411995913101273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641606712441163,0.08499365769056956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563797009863637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201386991300113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209049222997123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314397575599864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43707041617084136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765570595834206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522215736294665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662566060405089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848170613857596,0.06811719191773383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404584514848524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033836610880592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337843644804833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933228271716228,0.0,0.0,0.15304943172790214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146760708013204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134691323352383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5796738773976282,0.10483206366163753,0.22413294853200613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130124657340704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946620621115053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042051965315632,0.0,0.0,0.08223790144396374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150481824470642,0.0,0.0,0.09904523481109326,0.0,0.0,0.08978668355653828
mentalhealth,fbi-is-not-i,2019/01/16,"I’m mad at myself Im really mad with myself. I feel so fat right now, I honestly feel like throwing up so I won’t feel as bad. I have stretch marks on my sides and I hate it. I feel just terrible ",-1.9800000000000004,-0.1462713333333312,1.495000000000001,97.7025,95.66666666666666,5.666666666666668,16.38888888888889,7.1686216300943375,-0.012111111111110963,150,4,39,3,6,54,32,45,0.326,0.5660000000000001,0.107,-0.9042,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,7,8,4,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,4,9,2,5,7,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,22,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28117666520471624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6810945277861532,0.24057810150660686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324762062817644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637535839238835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452166216944644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157341112454925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28758724345965825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,henriettag8,2019/01/16,"Nervous wreck Hey! I (21F) have no known ”trauma” except my moms cancer that shes battled before and is currently battling again. I haven’t ”burned out” from working too hard, because I haven’t been working for a YEAR. However, I still feel like my nerves are shot to HELL. I’m jittery, anxious, I don’t like wearing too heavy clothing because I feel its suffocating me, I can’t watch action movies or Game of Thrones anymore because they make me nauseus and anxious and when I watch something violent I feel physically ill. I can’t stand nightclubs or even public transport anymore. My nails are shot to HELL from ripping them to bits just lying in my room watching a movie. I try meditation and everything ”calming” possible. I feel fear all the time for my mothers health, I’m never able to relax. All in all, I feel like my nerves are shot and on ”edge” all the time. I’m on meds, but does anyone else feel this way from GAD?? I also suffer from BPD. My mom wants me to try acupuncture for my nerves, has anyone tried this?? ",3.9305303030303023,5.743455727272727,4.373623737373737,85.7471022727273,72.53535353535355,6.566161616161617,29.04166666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.6107666666666676,806,33,153,8,16,254,118,198,0.22,0.7440000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.9811,2,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,2,8,14,5,2,4,0,13,4,1,1,5,25,24,10,0,1,5,3,7,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,7,2,0,2,7,9,0,0,1,10,28,5,19,23,5,18,2,1,3,0,9,6,2,2,11,89,32,2,0.13006331410440033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401158529870784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938690477749731,0.257975717073019,0.18188658668895605,0.13326523547131894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378561672220192,0.0,0.11067430068711133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199545289898974,0.0,0.16381019103233616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138192826539675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086512095742839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590559230962665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168925201861282,0.0,0.0,0.1463573881211836,0.3945835174590703,0.18583451516812516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165111823991136,0.0,0.0,0.13825122085821473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906270965589538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681827212287299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444710212946845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046571630573237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031284598629116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662684428066414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012909351617508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038687306534061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168192879148248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649133580901721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671471248304579,0.10323820478712252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893752834291963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375650998997644
mentalhealth,Glittering_Plane,2019/01/16,"Is this normal?  don’t know what’s wrong with my emotions, but I feel likes something wrong inside me. I get angry for no reason. Every little thing sets me off. Logically, there’s nothing that should be setting me off but yet I still feel the anger. I’ll be reading something and be on the verge of tears mid page for no apparent reason. At times I’ll feel the highest of highs and like I can conquer the world while at others I want to be normal again. ",2.6480434782608704,4.506678804347832,3.5167391304347824,90.33206521739132,76.17391304347827,5.469565217391305,22.369565217391305,5.985473137389443,0.28356086956521764,358,10,73,2,8,114,63,92,0.227,0.6920000000000001,0.081,-0.9455,1,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,4,0,8,0,0,2,0,16,14,5,0,4,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,7,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,3,9,2,11,9,1,17,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,7,48,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151063173761125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611182540203473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900726173937832,0.13661367449925052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999089955789737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20204340334473997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050941793809305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18684916592938675,0.19166118876339644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747266454164432,0.183488897690918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128024339326305,0.0,0.0,0.39322948229312576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944340749004203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271532252549647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704371443064333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115068728141862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279152046626928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4181566778140928,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,plzsendhelpthx,2019/01/16,"I need help leaving my job. Hello all.  I will try to keep it short.

I'm M/27.  I live in my hometown where my parents and siblings still live, but we're not close.  All my friends have left in one way or another.  I have no support aside from my parents and the counselor I'm seeing.  Thank you in advance for reading this.

3 years ago I was diagnosed with dysthymia and general anxiety disorder.  My depression is manageable but the anxiety has taken control.

2 years ago my girlfriend left me in a pretty brutal breakup.  I should have tried to recover gracefully but I let myself fall pretty hard and haven't even begun to bounce back.

1 year ago my best friend hung himself in his parents' garage with a dog leash when he was drunk.

Throughout all of this I have tried to be optimistic, or at the very least I've tried to understand what failing to cope would mean for me in the long run.  Well, I haven't been able to cope, and my mental health issues have only grown exponentially.  Suicide is very much a daily thought, though I have never attempted anything.  It doesn't seem like an option after seeing the devastation my friend's suicide caused.  Admittedly, suicide not being an option makes me feel trapped.

My job performance has suffered more than anything else, and is definitely the biggest source of anxiety in my life right now.  I've tried for a couple years now but I simply cannot address my mental issues with such a demanding job on my plate (60 hour weeks loaded with meetings and big deadlines).

My boss has been insanely patient with me and has always had hope that I'd overcome all of this, but I think it's time I made the ethical choice and leave for his sake and the sake of my co-workers.

My biggest problem is that leaving will mean that others have to absorb my projects, all of which are half-finished and will require months of work to complete.  No overtime or bonuses for those who have to pick up my slack - just more work on their plate, and more stress in their lives, due purely to me.

I need advice as to how I can leave.  I can't stay here for another year.  I already spend most of my time at work devouring my nails and feeling sick over how far behind I'm falling.  I don't want to abandon my co-workers and give them all my work, but each day I stay is just one more day I'm putting off the inevitable.

Any advice would help.  Words of encouragement, harsh words to teach me a lesson, similar stories and results, anything.  I just need some direction and some amount of reassurance, if possible.

If nothing else, thank you for allowing me this small post to vent.  I love my parents but they are my parents and will never be straight with me if it means hurting me.  And my counselor is only available when I'm paying him.  So, if anyone read this, at least I've managed to ""talk"" to someone before things got even worse.

Good luck to you all.

\-R",4.747956989247314,6.0507548261648765,4.970571684587814,84.27252419354842,69.73476702508961,7.730537634408603,30.258243727598572,8.07648339933343,2.046167598566308,2275,91,438,30,40,715,282,558,0.16399999999999998,0.701,0.135,-0.9354,8,1,0,1,0,3,65.0,0,3,4,13,19,25,1,1,17,0,43,6,0,10,10,97,75,39,3,13,19,5,3,1,4,7,4,0,1,0,18,26,1,4,11,3,3,6,12,8,1,2,9,5,68,17,61,55,20,65,0,5,2,1,32,28,0,15,28,285,86,17,0.061589424342998425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203689453175354,0.16378592576054365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796546128055421,0.0,0.05124733487929017,0.0,0.0,0.041882920544591605,0.12916376300893656,0.14134722313417852,0.0,0.0,0.04306475752606816,0.0,0.15204854542570767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047358465631483375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05240806384044376,0.0,0.0646343010824556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326930438800367,0.0,0.0,0.06457533963579963,0.0,0.06907777645572287,0.0,0.06814752658595456,0.0,0.07944016707056814,0.0,0.053046880938756986,0.06251196926094588,0.0,0.0,0.07058681615456536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290012211251548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135846782971087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228292700592609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275150940468342,0.0,0.0,0.05908218791895897,0.0,0.05165828704846112,0.049258688948084085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055172026815520935,0.0,0.0,0.0654666780252842,0.0,0.0,0.08256418577553085,0.0,0.0,0.0611721951880303,0.06065317673308125,0.0,0.06593275258195246,0.0,0.0,0.12856671515858556,0.18335400076904407,0.05474351021916787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608572302735689,0.13383417951378254,0.06297935920188187,0.04350243182912822,0.03008948173199986,0.0,0.16315377019628785,0.05450470243739618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558686008122683,0.05827740248332588,0.0411114189986693,0.0,0.0,0.20126681600390656,0.0,0.0,0.12413530750107793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491600909131985,0.0,0.04527531346209486,0.13700333326071346,0.09500312184178784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909671373306717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346917576329195,0.09368306507720606,0.0,0.0,0.3419388355796604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943282196567564,0.05898564363123007,0.1253171727091254,0.0,0.058932761262806214,0.0,0.06191438257786237,0.0,0.0,0.12321218263182784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05259703187002331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815759438343824,0.05606869878485863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218451938058625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129226323194554,0.049185393838621284,0.0,0.07055047749596112,0.0,0.0,0.20210650158949986,0.06989094887673547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04950324632097245,0.0,0.11340653426981667,0.0,0.0,0.04091727683677111,0.039464016247035806,0.06051129671040852,0.048895123322882456,0.07182657724686584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20907588146451694,0.0,0.0,0.06411676280877078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163545049857793,0.03632703820446149,0.04888681829174107,0.04940332119114611,0.0,0.055376289076867986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690270066892391,0.0,0.06276488513724096,0.08750271993270903,0.0,0.0,0.1983078499414741
mentalhealth,QIIIIIN,2019/01/16,"It makes me sad that I found a medicine that actually makes me feel normal and saved my life and I can no longer have access to it. I've had severe anxiety my entire life, looking back in retrospect it affecting me in so many negative ways all the way from my youth and ruining my school performance and participation.  
It was one of the leading factors in my depression during my Jr year of High School which I eventually just stopped going.  
The same thing happened in Junior College. I would just get so nervous and anxious and not be able to handle it. If I was late to class I wouldn't be able to walk in. 
 In high school just walking in front of people in the Halls was too much for me. Luckily I had an amazing group of friends, which during my depression forced me to hang out and leave the house and kwpt me company against my will. But with they're help I eventually brought my self out of it. I still had anxiety even after I was no longer extremely depressed and in Junior College it once again got the best of me.  
The most embarrassing moment of my life was when I had to give my finals presentation for philosophy of religion in front of the class. I just had a nervous meltdown, completely lost all rational function, I was tomato red.  
I eventually found a psychiatrist that helped me and I started xanax. It was amazing, my inhibitions were longer in complete control over my every little move. I was no longer so self-conscious that I overanalyzed every muscle movement of my body and every word or sound I made or thought I had. I know longer over analyized my self analyzing my self.  
Ihad a great Dr, I never abused it and he was always extremely helpful. Thing were getting better, I was able to function and talk to people and got a job. Work was fun I would laugh with my coworkers and made new friends and really enjoyed my job and just life in general. I was happy for the first time in a very long time.
Then I turned 26 and was abruptly kicked off my moms insurance. By law I had to get medi-cal so I did. This means I wasn't even allowed to pay cash. If a doctor knows you have medi-cal and they don't accept your insurance then by law they can't accept cash. So I lost my Dr and my prescription to normalcy. I asked him for any recommendations he said he would talk to any Dr I found and fax over all my information but all the doctors he recommended didn't take medi-cal either.  
I called every single one I could find in my city and nobody takes it.  
It's horrible, after going through the worst withdrawals you could imagine with full on hullucinations ,week long feverish dreams, not knowing what was real or in my mind and mini seizures I was back to my old anxious self. The job I was able to get when I was on it in my normal human state became a million times harder. I would just shut down and not say a single word to people at work, crippling shyness.  
I can't engage in conversations with my co-workers, I overthink every single little word, I hate walking in front of people when I get to work. I hate being there. I hate being alone, I hate being around people, even when I'm with people I feel even more alone then when I'm by myself if that makes any sense.  
So I did the only thing I could and started buying them off the street, when I could afford it. I would gladly spend every penny I have if I can feel normal again, street prices are insane $10 a pill  and thats when I'm lucky enough to find them which is super hard to do. Also you run the risk of all the pressed ones having something like fentanyl in them, but I literally don't know what else to do.  
I cant find any at all right now.  
I have enough for about three more days and its back to hating myself and life again. It's typically how it goes. It just sucks that there's something out there that saved my life I can't have access to it. Even though I had a prescription.  
 And again I just want to say I know how extremely dangerous they can be when abused. I always followed my doctor's orders and never abused them. I just take enough to feel normal, not to feel high or fucked up or anything.

That's it  sorry I just wanted to vent over my frustration a little bit.",4.1649638989169695,5.370065306859207,5.033641997593262,83.64223194945849,71.0216606498195,7.850469314079423,26.00403128760529,8.238735603445708,1.5376754753309263,3294,101,660,48,60,1072,327,831,0.139,0.78,0.081,-0.992,6,2,2,0,3,0,70.0,0,4,7,12,48,41,9,4,29,0,67,16,1,11,8,138,123,63,0,20,27,1,7,1,2,7,14,4,0,5,37,39,0,2,23,1,6,15,19,21,0,6,43,13,113,20,91,63,22,110,0,7,2,1,38,47,2,11,45,465,150,21,0.1916285719759709,0.1702863918416595,0.046750460873678484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923470420679917,0.0,0.03831132494392195,0.0797251614644223,0.0,0.0,0.13031400016739314,0.0,0.07329766652557547,0.10824287071420867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03942349673092892,0.042647514168787766,0.044786711710450164,0.0,0.0,0.1105129074927692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027559093635185,0.04236997484550572,0.05230219230818842,0.05321403597402614,0.0,0.0,0.04891854933655985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045945591532668,0.0,0.053731934494815406,0.15299982176399493,0.0,0.0,0.030896143972069967,0.0,0.12378705618510495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710497256144572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0400202706611594,0.0,0.0,0.14850265529802792,0.0,0.15821108062252928,0.0,0.24218300514344135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111645473174952,0.0,0.0,0.052479933467269375,0.13135878235630785,0.04074979135731488,0.0,0.15758312865503693,0.07402587967670475,0.04428938173252864,0.12514752459976256,0.045956896906007336,0.05445346676805921,0.0,0.07663143730619214,0.05281779427794893,0.0,0.0,0.04236412833381837,0.050998044546809465,0.04291539020075348,0.2364919273005958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633344432891897,0.15184958057346534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527841087892524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262134168431825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164256454735912,0.0,0.05404134398549458,0.050726747185263404,0.0,0.0,0.203029391275165,0.02340501018360178,0.1440466288140815,0.0,0.08479262799962195,0.04022993439267497,0.0,0.10459261155363636,0.0,0.0,0.09066179409434756,0.09593516986065638,0.048570323672487016,0.0,0.05218492318067865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048372557632614506,0.056108266866919616,0.0,0.05091771134300852,0.035217262367106365,0.0,0.07389788411730212,0.04626901723190156,0.0,0.0,0.18775531393815886,0.0,0.0,0.05027048772332635,0.05101954376859583,0.09738935981800566,0.03643554102547356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199276685281115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054528816935527816,0.030690542534457424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04091243835668763,0.04557066361264524,0.0761953659214912,0.0,0.14545375905065594,0.0,0.0,0.2498879915119647,0.054121435357104335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376251841603629,0.0,0.05362812436620898,0.06781784477571966,0.0,0.038258706279182014,0.04005251668284012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080606282419214,0.07701189369649546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954821312224274,0.0,0.04706852475374722,0.03803292025742938,0.08380512101650725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052109214695045536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039528410211937336,0.056513748338263725,0.07605292042935043,0.038428220395462204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950788268378392,0.0,0.0,0.1701592992992531,0.0,0.0,0.030850629390750162
mentalhealth,TheJadedJurist,2019/01/16,"Trying to counsel a close friend with mental illness (mostly thought disorder and some paranoid ideas) through the death of his parent / primary caretaker. Would appreciate any advice on how to approach a conversation I need to have with him. This is about one of my closest childhood friends; we and our parents have all been friends since we met as toddlers in a preschool program.

Maybe 10 years ago he started showing signs of mental illness. The most notable signs of this are:
* Impaired thinking. He often has trouble telling fact from fiction, picks up a lot of sovereign citizens stuff online, has these ideas in his head about fictitious entitles, government jurisdiction not applying to him, etc.

* Legal altercations. He has been arrested several times because he freaks out in interactions with police and they don't know what to do with him. He lectures them on the law, tells them they don't have authority over him, etc. He has never been violent, it's just personality stuff.
* He is not independently functional: cannot really hold down a job because of the above.
* He has never had any auditory or visual hallucinations.

He has had inpatient psychiatric treatment and is on medication regularly, and when he's properly medicated, he comes across as almost completely normal, other than sometimes some of the sovereign citizens stuff slipping in or him believing some wacky theory about something.

Unfortunately, his mother died a few weeks ago. She left a healthy inheritance, life insurance, etc. to her sister in trust of him so he can be provided for. However, he is deteriorating a bit again and making life very difficult for everyone involved. For example, he:

* refused to sign a legal document provided by his mother's attorney because he wasn't familiar with some of the statutes it referenced;
* believes he is being deceived because he wasn't given an original copy of the will (which is because it had to be filed at the court);
* made a huge deal out of his name being printed in ALL CAPS on the will, thinking that it may invalidate it;
* made a huge deal out of the fact that the attorney signed a slight variation of his name (think Mike vs. Michael),
* now distrusts his step-father because after spending a long time explaining a document while a notary waited patiently, told him ""you just need to sign it."" (He feels now that he signed it under duress, so he asked the attorney to hold off on filing it.)

I am close with the family and my friend trusts me and knows I'm an attorney, so I want to try and help. However, I don't know what I can say to him or what types of arguments tend to be successful with someone who is relatively lucid but experiencing this level of thought disorder.

* Should I just tell him to trust the lawyer and/or his step-father no matter what?
* Ask him what he wants for his future, frame cooperating with these people as the best way to get what he wants?
* Bring legal documents to demonstrate that the principles he thinks he understands are bullshit?

Would greatly appreciate any advice...",7.301467814678148,8.704167143911441,7.459157441574415,68.39973657236574,63.90774907749078,11.188273882738828,36.64227142271423,11.095144083064902,4.564078556785568,2440,117,394,70,36,789,283,542,0.075,0.841,0.084,0.7387,5,0,1,0,0,0,83.0,3,1,4,2,15,15,2,0,33,0,45,7,1,7,6,95,77,22,2,9,10,5,1,0,4,6,6,1,0,3,29,25,0,4,14,1,2,3,11,5,0,1,15,3,38,10,75,51,15,51,0,0,0,0,84,28,0,13,19,266,67,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466454737324425,0.14030128234507844,0.0,0.0792448000595702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144869255795805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796580649475768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894490048708539,0.0,0.0,0.17832178184839004,0.0830499502619441,0.0,0.0863976810393882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816997061312187,0.08297418947966376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317462705330926,0.0,0.0,0.08213225691596811,0.0,0.18139691998238056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264777778852507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561929665800378,0.0,0.0,0.0746038156649141,0.0,0.04001431053931912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445658225292695,0.0,0.04134609061710967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872494008729309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812179319944678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05304421496975858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786732665141832,0.0,0.0,0.07853178260446886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047574261458816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598315264357974,0.0,0.11179434879550032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003421945714401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727989390945492,0.0,0.14976367955030825,0.05282491255969055,0.0,0.07950428083322768,0.0,0.0,0.1594454618249418,0.15950402404079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735894432181294,0.12207147615976258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753797217282034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362563514613857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17574571279908996,0.0,0.0,0.05486399560479106,0.06909983449625673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069752505197945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293333635781283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940287783395456,0.0,0.06546337859999192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705296826018516,0.060923933180645665,0.07826903592812905,0.0,0.05601394762943842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717805984761044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750905536194314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20283252276661634,0.0,0.12565271046519486,0.09229145466008748,0.0,0.0,0.07561929665800378,0.0,0.10745836972507147,0.0,0.0,0.08238495463008379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529674621211587,0.14003208817229074,0.06281568392631476,0.06347934918434882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243405461947352,0.0,0.0,0.050961971579709664
mentalhealth,NoHelpWanted,2019/01/16,"Seeking Advice Diagnoses: anxiety, depression (past), bipolar (current)

So lately I've had this issue, and I think it's paranoia? But I can't tell anyone because I know if they know I know I'll be punished/reprogrammed. That's as much as I can tell you comfortably and even now I'm really anxious about it. 

Should I tell my therapist? If anything I trust him the least. He was probably sent to monitor me. I can't tell anyone really. They could all be monitoring me. I don't trust my dad, my partner, no one. But this feels like a bad thing.

I've had a history of not knowing I was in crisis until I had to be hospitalized, just for context.

Anyway, please tell me what to do. I need help.",1.1764130434782594,3.6064688695652194,3.5925905797101443,84.66758152173914,84.94202898550725,7.218115942028985,24.56702898550725,8.278499904357787,1.9458681159420288,536,22,106,13,16,185,89,138,0.14400000000000002,0.733,0.123,-0.4503,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,2,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,15,2,0,0,1,18,24,10,0,5,6,1,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,6,1,22,4,10,13,3,7,0,1,0,0,14,1,0,2,6,74,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442340598705924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113062647169217,0.1669660997444374,0.0,0.20668317541586168,0.0,0.12162255941696365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234025170247207,0.09009436196590467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800215262664415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729547811447356,0.15000865035092942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976170971578969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472951124818761,0.1055846623877168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906376508321328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542594134291713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248967129980995,0.0,0.16671901568518013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722050928444539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864621202882498,0.10958800028747888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014960774862712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108689699350024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223435107322806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934783344174228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18936231650945934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6458960172733484,0.0,0.0,0.17160119916257127,0.09818832372241452,0.09470096502532444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BoringElm,2019/01/16,"uhhh, help? i guess So here goes. ADD, major depressive disorder, arthritis (from age 3 and so on, yes kids get it too and it sucks)  Canadian, 18 years old now. born 4 months premature, raised by alcoholic and unstable mother, father left when i was 4. been second dad didn't pan out either. neglected, bullied and abused (mostly verbally) currently living with my grandparents and in grade 12. basically for about 10 ish years i've secluded myself away (to avoid bullying and rejection etc. i guess)  basically i'm a complete and utter manchild. I'm intelligent (apparently according to everybody, including doctors, teachers etc.) But i'm scared and anxious of bloody everything. i stopped trying to be social years ago because the anxiety of leaving the house is way too much. the stress of being in my last year of school and suddenly the entire world is on my shoulders now (they used to say i had plenty of time... until i didn't now they expect me to know what i wanna do) I've got a psychiatrist and all that but it never works. i'm just too tired and depressed to try (getting outside) like they want me to. last month i cooked a pancake (which was the first time i've ever ""cooked"" succesfully) without crying and giving up. everything was handled for me but suddenly i'm expected to know how to human. worst part is i don't want to anymore, i've given up trying, lost my appetite and basically live in my chair, fused to my xbox controller. I haven't gone for any of the more academic classes because i don't have the energy and/or willpower. i'm just fracking tired, i don't want to die but i'm just so goddamn tired of this nonesense. guess i'm just another edgy teenage manchild and any advice you give me will probably not even be attempted but guess i might as well howl into the abyss.",3.9087719298245602,6.120392274853806,5.072374269005844,79.00084210526317,73.61988304093569,8.536608187134503,29.23625730994152,9.21078282632365,2.8299688888888888,1426,61,255,34,30,470,200,342,0.177,0.757,0.066,-0.989,4,1,1,0,1,1,53.0,0,1,3,5,20,12,1,3,11,1,21,8,1,3,3,53,48,26,1,6,12,3,0,1,0,2,5,1,0,2,7,18,3,4,2,3,0,1,9,10,1,2,11,1,28,2,40,32,10,40,0,5,0,0,14,12,1,6,27,158,35,6,0.0,0.11063458871432934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124536726405244,0.08277166456447291,0.09978991305995044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699695779840495,0.0979122560380241,0.07143193095532982,0.10548763192299104,0.09260331325708904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772926882807602,0.0,0.0,0.1138415631429721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790233794482008,0.0,0.10472845908650363,0.0,0.0,0.10256850027671717,0.0,0.0,0.16084820285500034,0.0,0.09690893063473263,0.0,0.10701630635763623,0.0955736859601878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082765234832479,0.06167357583452295,0.0844634016873445,0.0,0.0,0.16783959028427106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942507369355736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756959270534424,0.17914839815893324,0.0,0.0,0.07468084317191198,0.0,0.4114541532250233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258756720075928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774268312746234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026333636773922,0.15222683909282955,0.0,0.09887107391779984,0.10145265317398444,0.0,0.0,0.04561850740120018,0.0,0.16490439061119253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193028729407193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905655108348063,0.0,0.0,0.14906271840384852,0.0,0.06864166823005492,0.0,0.07201687047117966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798178245934852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111646666889773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006744819909983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425587164798653,0.09348507211410248,0.09450089719726873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518446863414903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806602152273276,0.10696121350554756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088959017281568,0.3219638836192623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19018731657032645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064637153111583,0.0,0.0,0.16522570338240572,0.07411705199598645,0.0,0.0,0.08395570504019458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001056046571962,0.0,0.06797840856308261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405228033063889
mentalhealth,throwaway57194620163,2019/01/16,"My (32m) Dad (59) believes FBI investigation is happening to him I apologize for the length of this post. Throwaway for obvious reasons. My dad has had a rough upbringing. He was born gay into a strict catholic family. He told his oldest brother that he might have feelings toward men at a young age and my uncle did not respond well to this at all. So he suppressed these feelings for most of his life. He married my mother and had 3 children including myself. He always seemed disconnected from life in general. The relationship with my mother was always strained. She’d also been through hell growing up. Abused in all sense of the word. I could tell something was not right with their relationship at a very young age. They were distant. I’d seen them embrace very few times. I discovered (browser history) of my dad’s interest in other men. This was also at a very young age. It was confusing, but I just pushed it out of my mind. This eventually ended in divorce. He was lying to himself and everyone else for his entire life. This has to have an immense toll on his mental state. He ended up moving out of state and living the life he wanted. He found a partner who introduced him to smoking marijuana after the age of 50. I smoke so it was a good way to relate to him after we’d become distant. Eventually his partner divulged that he was becoming paranoid and accused his partner of being part of a government investigation involving my dad. It caused them to split up and my dad has been telling myself and my siblings about an “agent” who’s been with him for years. He has made plans to move to different locations around the country to accommodate this “agent.” He blamed a car accident on this “investigation.” Saying, “whoever planned this accident must’ve been a gamer. How could this “agent” have maneuvered to only hit my car?” This is just an example of the statements made to myself and my siblings. My family (his siblings) seem to know something is not right with him, but continually ignore and push the issue off. He confides these things in me, and it scares the living shit out of me. But he won’t listen to anyone or anything. I am worried about my own mental stability and have been keeping this information to myself and my siblings. I see him very infrequently. I saw him over the holidays and around my SO and others he is perfectly normal and charming. But in private he talks about the “agent” and “investigation.” I am scared to tell my SO about this because I’m worried this information will terrify her. I don’t want her to worry about me inheriting these things. I am just lost. He is supposed to be my guide. I don’t know what to do. ",3.8422986315607126,6.2255514422310805,4.955728390784689,78.96981465442579,74.41832669322709,7.871193486921878,28.64212714359952,8.716276077567194,2.489381985103066,2112,89,377,44,46,693,233,502,0.121,0.8290000000000001,0.05,-0.9896,1,0,3,0,2,0,54.0,1,0,4,4,20,13,2,4,24,0,45,6,1,5,4,70,66,28,0,5,11,8,3,0,3,3,4,2,0,6,30,26,0,3,11,1,1,7,6,8,1,0,24,8,60,5,73,32,6,53,1,1,3,1,72,26,2,6,16,271,90,5,0.0,0.1071932292843463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446991011255747,0.15055808194938727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325936078444194,0.0,0.07444984672994802,0.1610765739503048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05515022436420222,0.1998360147067101,0.0,0.1019297297188944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929385414613948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144467312955301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452284065449117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557683269827363,0.0,0.1602607384384574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644882739492221,0.0,0.0,0.17057583628652087,0.0,0.09148961648730924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991966783638875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588270329693006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000312308233723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442812042032757,0.0,0.0804146978295387,0.0,0.0,0.09944088745430008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25560910481510063,0.0,0.0,0.159774934387147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875968071021156,0.0,0.0,0.1712115168437328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823467878240086,0.09597533389693738,0.09134982435128276,0.0,0.0,0.1923125100342868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864227874580415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880720052265447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797117449452994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866461191453777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301915891718432,0.0,0.19426378975559647,0.0,0.15452331820247805,0.0,0.07194609540985862,0.18115431866729986,0.0,0.07209359849612686,0.16472262930999046,0.0,0.0,0.09286708454880116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929784635720904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727170869851965,0.23722667761641064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020969936576885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275431263279096,0.0,0.0,0.08644882739492221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985918881668826,0.10672416834648067,0.07181159383165474,0.0,0.0,0.0813442092991386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756327887522694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826029703402364
mentalhealth,throwaway140199,2019/01/16,"Need urgent help with my girlfriend My girlfriend suffers from depression, anxiety, PTSD and a few other things. I’ve been supporting her for a number of years, but since she’s gone back to where we live, by herself, for a couple weeks (about 2 hours from where we were visiting family at Christmas), she’s taken a massive turn for the worse. She’s told me today that she cannot do anything. In the past she’s struggled with motivation but never to this extent. If I call she answers and won’t speak. She won’t take a sip of the water next to her, she hasn’t eaten in days, she won’t communicate and I think she’s in real danger. How can I help her? The only thing I can think to do is call her an ambulance but I would like to avoid escalating things to that level, tho I have down before and will do again. She’s told me twice that she wants to die over texts, which while not uncommon with the way she’s feeling, combined with everything else, is a massive concern. 

She has no one to look after her or that she can talk to locally and I cannot get back there until Friday, which I will be. What can I do to ensure her safety? Any help at all would be much obliged as I’m really freaking out right now and don’t know how to help her. Many thanks ",2.9553112840466937,4.31790564980545,4.11410700389105,88.45372859922182,74.21400778210115,7.163346303501946,22.966731517509732,7.7348632917899725,0.8924694163424127,980,26,210,13,20,320,144,257,0.121,0.745,0.134,0.1829,0,1,0,0,0,0,27.0,2,0,0,1,11,9,1,2,12,0,27,2,0,3,2,35,45,17,1,5,6,0,1,1,2,7,0,1,0,0,12,13,2,1,6,0,0,2,10,6,0,2,7,3,38,3,35,29,4,31,0,2,1,0,38,13,0,2,16,154,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903022961357524,0.0,0.10158459689902632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927551213009244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20421585373617426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112995188475038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711885030340288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693049211150547,0.0,0.08563907911152616,0.0,0.11437251961714508,0.0,0.1378158832161667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092967226958766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934380671710824,0.0,0.12518334614468982,0.0,0.06714301731540613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937771114414368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560274907845236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077218722351244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297834972485183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648748763124455,0.0,0.11725670735117975,0.0,0.11151082598593208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346290266908628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761651553263173,0.0984626940276072,0.10241644960317728,0.0,0.14122452000359398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998248128325995,0.100993385555574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676384214999473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15522533659046686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114499957085512,0.08506918541226513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340261581643155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984592021259994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882177389729058,0.0,0.0,0.15068942377015504,0.0,0.0,0.09984215397253572,0.106732213294395,0.0,0.1222559256637698,0.0,0.0,0.2646609168084719,0.1701739628234285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258701495514799,0.2537745959610167,0.0,0.0,0.1444382562349098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832345306916941,0.1054031544389418,0.10651676822638988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353251676552797,0.18866154569222487,0.0,0.0,0.08551292010495566
mentalhealth,redblueanon,2019/01/16,"Mental vomit. Um, hi guys. I'm sorry to put this here but I'm just having a very alone moment and need to let something out. My demons are piling on right now after a really rough few months of trying desperately to keep them at bay. I try to be miss positive happy it'll all get better, be optimistic and you can help yourself... but not recently. I've barely left the house except for work for months and spent 80% of the new year in bed mentally and physically suffering. Today I started to fully break and get some really bad thoughts so I tried to call my boyfriend upstairs for a hug. He didn't hear so I whistled, something we frequently do to get each others attention over a three story house. Getting no answer, I whistled again a couple of times, pretty desperate for a response as I was curled in a ball on the floor unable to get myself up by this point. Eventually he hears me, or I think he's just heard me (now pretty sure he was just ignoring me) and he comes upstairs, sees me on the floor and asks what's up. I ask for a hug and he kneels down to give me one but just as he is drawing near comes out with ""Don't fucking whistle me like a fucking dog."" Wow, such support. Dunno what's up his ass about it when we do it all the time but real great timing on expressing his annoyance. I push him away and say ""never mind"" because what I need is support, not assholery. He STORMS downstairs swearing and stomping to tell room mate that I told him to fuck off? I hear this and being mid panic attack and a blubbering mess I get mad, shout down ""I didn't tell you to fuck off, I said never mind but you know what, you can fuck off!"" then throw his shoes downstairs and slam bedroom door. Not my proudest moment but on top of depression, anxiety, panic attack, general despair, 'Aunt Flo' is also paying a visit and it's harder to control my emotions than usual. He does just that and runs off to his mothers house or the pub or whatever. Leaving me at home, ten times more distraught than before and banging my head repeatedly off the radiator because the reason I needed that hug was because I was having thoughts of self harm, something I haven't given in to for a long time. I needed help and he made it worse and then just left me. So I'm basically writing this because I have no real friends or family to turn to except his family who know little about my mental health issues, and I don't want to use the blade I just smashed out of a razor because it took me a long time to stop using that coping mechanism. Any tips on quick help for distraction/getting these thoughts out? I have medication and have taken it but it's just not cutting the mustard.
(Bf is usually more supportive, he was fine last time we spoke before this so I have no idea where the blow up came from but he has mental health issues of his own. This isn't to bash him, I just need to let it out.)",3.9117165965172873,5.106365935875218,4.942207229512256,84.0984589832467,71.61698440207972,7.644284888998928,26.38974168523562,8.037061389416179,1.5522694891474789,2263,73,450,31,42,742,280,577,0.177,0.6940000000000001,0.129,-0.9854,0,1,3,0,0,0,62.0,3,4,1,4,25,35,10,3,25,0,33,15,3,5,5,96,87,42,0,6,27,2,1,1,3,1,4,8,5,2,26,33,0,4,10,2,2,9,15,21,1,3,20,10,58,14,77,61,8,85,1,4,1,9,58,41,6,6,35,294,84,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321574037594982,0.0,0.04881112490780585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04150713234739999,0.0,0.04669300215363824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412237935955252,0.13887639432972965,0.05734610395578025,0.0,0.050963197284562285,0.18603740238845248,0.0,0.10387568076014636,0.0,0.0,0.053982109403728086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062325420106732775,0.06980986455432397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051556360423835,0.0,0.0,0.06845798650930154,0.0,0.06753608316639792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052570925788175016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053413734696808685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865820999000663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508016824526413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047156897661445735,0.2821377943728515,0.22322454391009444,0.05855208188538943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729331229419593,0.0,0.06043605047867639,0.0,0.06497483253507483,0.0,0.0,0.06264138901712657,0.12975857623142695,0.2063788049636224,0.0,0.12273508657872753,0.0,0.0612249096140321,0.0,0.0,0.21128489464139247,0.0,0.06890314318418042,0.0,0.12741316966844107,0.0,0.05425233231787276,0.0,0.0,0.06708848279938652,0.04975315682035809,0.0,0.06462918201474001,0.13263337249296944,0.12482857277174834,0.0,0.029819508388511082,0.06117493110182772,0.0,0.10803133440591912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775451726588018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148817727759873,0.2460430442975775,0.0,0.1232595821821178,0.0,0.09743801880157267,0.0,0.0,0.22629015247527906,0.09415072063813988,0.0589497435229284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136013057693435,0.0,0.0,0.14322712019057351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057699526114782476,0.0,0.0,0.12419278324924105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135886510423263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894653335069213,0.078203502871826,0.06275601920685661,0.06026649868970775,0.0,0.0,0.05212511292246514,0.058059995497005676,0.04853893109718624,0.0,0.0,0.048638445074980434,0.0,0.06367471751240661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096738386846164,0.0,0.06832572563966259,0.04320217712610081,0.0,0.0,0.05102951666484317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20779158858968103,0.05752648287284901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669774635802802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03910993130437702,0.0,0.14536925757681413,0.24913743434756397,0.0,0.057855770889438364,0.05832329958214365,0.06781415564255827,0.12431998776242414,0.0663905357241127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054324347451938,0.13444687355088716,0.050361770862429114,0.03600109932487377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044435533731012535,0.0,0.06220173665747936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03930571252444336
mentalhealth,Oranges13,2019/01/16,"How can I help them see that therapy is not bad? TL;DR: I have a loved one who does not want to go to therapy because they are afraid it will get them committed. They do not want to fiddle with medications because it may make things worse. How can I help them get over this fear and seek the help they need?

---

I have a loved one who is struggling with mental health issues. They are currently medicated for anxiety, but have been suffering off and on with depression probably the entire time I've known them (the last 15 years -- maybe longer). They were medicated for depression for a short while but stopped taking that medication due to how it made them feel. They also recently quit smoking.

They see a normal medical doctor to receive their anxiety medication, and they do not ask any questions, ask for advice or seek other treatments. At this point, they are on the highest dose of that medication, and given the length of time they have been taking it, I'm unsure if it is actually helping them or not. 

They are afraid to ask for alternatives because they may not work as well, or by raising their concerns about how they currently feel they are afraid they will be committed. They refuse to go see a therapist because, in their words, they've seen them before (not in the last ~10 years though) and do not want to go over their whole history with someone else, just for it to not change anything, or again lead to them being committed.

My loved one is also consuming alcohol on a regular basis. ~3 years ago, they voluntarily went to an inpatient alcohol program because it had gotten very very bad, but they left after 5 days. That program made them stop taking their anxiety medication (an approach I don't agree with) and due to that experience they now have a very negative association with these sort of programs. They refuse to consider going to one of these facilities again.

AA is out of the question due to the religious aspect.

They have continued to drink to varying degrees since then, but it has progressively been getting worse as their depression has been worsening. At a minimum, they drink 3 out of 7 days every week, and they drink about 400ml of liquor per instance. They do not believe this level of consumption is an issue.

The depression / alcohol is now interfering with their work. They are missing days and I am afraid they will be fired if this behavior continues.

I guess I'm just looking for positive suggestions which will assuage their fears about therapy, and help them seek the help they need.

",8.76170977011494,8.291790831896556,8.276724137931032,70.15735632183909,60.93965517241379,12.302298850574713,37.2212643678161,11.618504940865991,4.378955747126437,2022,83,356,53,24,642,206,464,0.158,0.76,0.08199999999999999,-0.9906,2,0,6,0,0,0,56.0,0,0,45,5,17,19,0,7,21,0,44,21,0,8,3,71,82,30,0,8,22,0,3,0,0,6,14,0,0,0,24,18,7,4,5,4,0,8,12,15,2,4,12,8,53,4,58,61,1,53,0,6,5,3,65,16,0,12,29,251,77,7,0.0,0.0,0.059679652574368025,0.0,0.0,0.05976115413878427,0.05421130247683245,0.19607221346198747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978132202159435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04158832934599385,0.0,0.14035303153196613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050326361370551485,0.0,0.17151844141495434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212578481481148,0.18640133209994664,0.0,0.052039442117264106,0.06890212186524543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469517579451972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832211514168815,0.0,0.2106950639136964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259598650910048,0.053518223604998506,0.0,0.0,0.179729450830464,0.0,0.0,0.05108817762125817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051526756229671525,0.0,0.0,0.05982252187269034,0.0,0.13763550851969847,0.06184484862265485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585480847562397,0.0,0.13902596541106427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737047537100217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500620614565135,0.0,0.0,0.24595036632372544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766241760182806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099700969680578,0.0,0.0,0.06644641614049035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051355825435214594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558763913608654,0.11573499538195725,0.04082225429760749,0.0,0.06143964680026786,0.0,0.0,0.4928676924443447,0.06163108953116809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906931301360941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05992011466527314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165764160032087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057812398965202426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593675291695138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701793391538605,0.06504717191991335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038439309803278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620077742725776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058906032962643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181746999833968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225868304570147,0.0,0.06393376359507462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794560802023556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20981241532892128,0.07100708949125271,0.040629477670190366,0.0,0.06008567941355252,0.0,0.0713213718503176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138086839227588,0.1082145759680124,0.0,0.04905583387614585,0.0,0.05498678979742586,0.056692432195649935,0.0,0.06827873990026655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089044918642091,0.0,0.12464683362622482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814780919799445
mentalhealth,goingnowhr9,2019/01/16,"I have an inferiority/regret complex that's invaded every aspect of my daily life and causing nonstop stress and depression I'm not satisfied with any aspect of my life and where I've ended up, and though I'm making major efforts and working hard to address all of these and am already seeing some of the seeds of that work, my mind is still increasingly dead set on comparing me unfavorably to everyone and everything else.

Physique, social/love life, creative quality and skill, money....Everyone seems better than me, but everyone seems to love what I make and do, but all my ""accomplishments"" just look like shit to me, and I can't buy the idea to stop and enjoy life when I have to commit to fixing everything to feel like I belong.


I also am experiencing panic and anxiety attacks and self-guilt whenever I'm at my apartment.  I just spent the past three days at my family's house doing basically nothing, but mostly felt calm and content.  I don't know why being where I'm supposed to live makes me more upset.  I also don't know why I don't take solace in the fact that I'm making progress toward my goals or respect what I've already been able to accomplish and what unique things I bring to the world.  Nothing ever feels good enough or even good, even when I finish a big project I've slaved away at for weeks and feel nothing good while others marvel over it.

Multiple therapists, meds, and hospitalizations haven't helped.  Same with techniques like yoga, meditation, and exercise.  I get more stressed out due to not knowing the source of these feelings or the right first thing to do to combat it and worry I'll ruin my life and/or never feel normal again because of it.  What should I do?",9.951875276426364,7.6922464365325105,9.555225563909776,67.64907894736845,59.866873065015476,12.324546660769572,38.24170720919947,10.7630783206399,4.007960813799205,1361,49,241,25,14,442,184,323,0.158,0.7170000000000001,0.125,-0.8727,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,10,14,19,2,4,9,0,17,8,1,5,6,63,44,31,1,2,10,0,7,3,0,1,6,0,1,0,15,22,0,1,13,2,2,2,8,8,0,2,3,10,26,11,35,39,10,34,0,2,2,1,2,16,1,7,18,155,41,6,0.09148489323955587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20191170921166504,0.14632087214218256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062212864553561176,0.0,0.06998569292309591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040772732479991,0.08595306869709286,0.0,0.0,0.05576834178675388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091095362939536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398018603067997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590001877831287,0.0,0.07879580449310224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642388921654954,0.0,0.08102846125531575,0.09452835016992646,0.0,0.12084981834029887,0.08275332354416119,0.07707996826541708,0.2622532079680972,0.16444144612748676,0.0,0.08624381539926018,0.0,0.2312875541769839,0.06535682600988472,0.08783984425704727,0.0,0.0,0.07781700345448686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779708081794658,0.0,0.0,0.23019956393393626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195249487831335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061320395519689375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556128380155992,0.0,0.1032753088879812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15083311436342572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32309242812408945,0.13408469326918668,0.0,0.08078283681146982,0.0,0.07682426926209546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256868795740381,0.0,0.24426750651696744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161909259627776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237366276045547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055878953111636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963577129273617,0.2633466672737068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073378106952134,0.0,0.0,0.08733268232859785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812759896161649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290161532286939,0.16656882174599286,0.09543869576269977,0.0,0.09390792823716253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325732769345726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305995391696354,0.07648546717061855,0.20959127222144364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878525428070402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062210122486548,0.1215569959614634,0.0,0.08988344311369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338366307307907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510177316764507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320418371643292,0.09290734986716466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,carneadevada,2019/01/16,"Had to remove Facebook from my phone I felt uncomfortable with my friends watching my downward spiral and my erratic, constant posts. Back and forth between manic and depressive so my posts were going from ""Please just let me die."" To ""SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE SOME OF THIS SEROTONIN I CANT HANDLE THIS MUCH HAPPY"" and a few that were complete gibberish. So I've removed it in hopes that no one will notice and I can go back once I'm okay. 

Side note-meeting a new therapist and seeing my normal psych this morning went well. I hate doing the initial assessment though. ",3.3284294871794886,6.283479086538462,3.5611538461538466,84.96717948717952,80.25,5.7743589743589725,26.93589743589744,7.1686216300943375,1.6703166666666671,451,19,76,6,12,139,78,104,0.097,0.732,0.171,0.8208,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,1,0,3,1,8,0,0,0,0,12,17,9,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,2,1,1,5,3,11,5,8,10,3,14,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,2,4,54,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267253652185799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822060230276223,0.18779547351044806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967728028041685,0.0,0.18035719286669574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668569674899527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426273329991087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19752744088595328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18499305604226365,0.0,0.1715727132263117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260369775742232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777027985872379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774899603755094,0.0,0.0,0.1678387274230718,0.0,0.0,0.17026843686974075,0.0,0.1978507669420149,0.0,0.1850710434783729,0.11775847132201225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38151860217473255,0.0,0.0,0.3328682311974321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848092014253705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472440376399231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066164944142367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20177308074065392,0.0,0.0,0.1707389041084592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624994711031126,0.16109668458113724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ubercornswife,2019/01/16,"My dreams are torture Hello. Lately I've been having terrible, extremely vivid, extremely long dreams. And by long I mean probably lasting at least 6 hours straight, and I remember every detail. Last night was one of the worst dreams of my entire life, if not THE worst. It involved dreamception too--I 'woke up' about five times in the dream only for the same terrifying event to happen again and again, with slightly new horrors each time. To the point where when I did actually wake up, I was thinking all day, ""What if I'm still asleep?""

So the dream last night involved tsunamis. Not very scary, right? But they're an actual thing unlike my dreams of monsters or me spewing up my organs, which makes it feel even scarier and real to me. Just imagine a dream where you're living your daily life, then you step outside and see... an absolutely massive wave of water rolling towards you, towering over houses, so vivid you can see every speck of water. Trying to escape it, witnessing your beloved family's terror, getting separated from them, the crashing thunderous wave getting closer and closer, then it hits you like a brick and you just are violently tossed by the water on and on for who knows how long, knowing you are gonna die and that all of your family members are going through the same thing alone.

Then you wake up and the same thing happens again, but with slightly different events, and it feels so vivid you tell your family ""I had a dream this happened!!"" once you see that dreaded wave. I remember everything...the oceany smell as the wave approached, my family's chests heaving as they breathed rapidly in fear, the shaking of the ground, the hopeless struggle to outrun the tsunami, the chilling coldness of the turbulent water...

After it happens again and you wake up, this time you are more cautious and focus on all the little details in your room to be sure you're awake...staring at each date on your calendar, looking at all your shelves and making sure not a thing is out of place. yep, seems like it, but no, after living out your day for a while a tsunami happens again... this time while trying to outrun it, ANOTHER wave is roaring towards you from the opposite side (which doesn't make sense but whatever).

And so on. I've had other long torturous dreams lately such as my house catching on fire, me slowly burning alive as I try to make sure my family can escape, surviving much longer than normal until I'm burnt to a crisp. And a painfully long dream of just me hiding under a blanket on the floor while a creepy monster is lurking inside my house. About 4 hours of lying still in terror. I have recurring dreams of vomiting up my organs, a different one each time or sometimes just my eyeballs falling out as I look at myself in a mirror. But I feel like this one is the last straw. I never want to sleep again. I'm so tired but I'm crying and my chest is hurting. It is 4:30am. I'm 20 and I don't smoke or drink or do drugs or watch any horror media. I have a psychologist but haven't mentioned my dreams yet, I need help until my next appointment.",5.349274546591619,6.650064307692312,5.4255743172816375,81.57729831144468,68.31623931623932,8.100479466333125,29.311027725661873,8.407314429234152,2.131957681884512,2440,88,445,35,41,766,277,585,0.149,0.748,0.103,-0.9886,3,1,3,0,0,1,84.0,0,20,2,1,26,21,3,6,36,1,27,19,8,5,8,78,62,52,1,5,21,0,4,3,0,1,6,1,1,0,24,26,5,0,11,13,0,6,8,15,0,4,7,16,54,6,73,52,15,97,0,2,9,0,29,42,0,8,52,300,78,0,0.0,0.0,0.1347200772553628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149077660045082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469404788795647,0.07238044542608921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582251739589843,0.08903293839298941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163874931432418,0.1442362841794996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761982366539282,0.08004898218823785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04559144146560047,0.0,0.11631583430096908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253608417079643,0.07767415501350744,0.10470582214651708,0.04931264189436472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212713572152142,0.0,0.0392294274362201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052001271928341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626709847607825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595466239688264,0.23894240757170954,0.07389444049752053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587046687661397,0.22506368181457675,0.1557301019209528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975111074363025,0.10116878169235316,0.06918282229931133,0.1219035668070057,0.30543199952778044,0.1159299773322834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430325966990546,0.0,0.0,0.07519024145518577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050742519091295096,0.05118237527958101,0.05323759633188968,0.06666635429385692,0.07341060949922802,0.12955364206289316,0.06763144663749977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073511113576085,0.14032270306365108,0.05249786643874975,0.07344920646629922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721181420897498,0.0,0.06525248153216483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442238739468335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856742257629669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638744321792486,0.05894836920443545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501587375404414,0.06283925611904806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690764852917914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068269107102047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024951988277763,0.0,0.0,0.07216162627640567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517036000279775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033232153328817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834329167299462,0.044229480586830586,0.0,0.0,0.20124993006745465,0.07933596279790794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059366257894124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056954202996233064,0.04071369778948857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Capn_Frank,2019/01/16,"On a downward spiral I've struggled with depression from a young age. Haven't been medicated or under a doctors care since I was a teenager. 

recently I've lost all motivation, I have started calling out of work on an almost weekly basis, just so I don't have to deal with people. 

My live in girlfriend (Who I also work with) worries that I either don't love her anymore or am tired of her. I have a tendency to become irritated easily, and I can be rude or blunt about how little I care for her interests. (Such as a video game, or something on TV) 
I feel torn a lot of the time, because while I want to spend time with her, I really just want to be left alone. Finding a balance is hard. 

I just don't have any motivation to do anything. I have all these things in my head that I NEED to do, or get done. I just can't bring myself to care. If I do care I'm too ""Tired"" to do anything about it. 

What can I do to snap myself out of this funk? 
How do you get over the exhaustion? 

Thanks for any advice. ",1.7732589048378529,3.3698846698564613,3.7871371610845297,88.59134901648062,77.89952153110049,6.749707602339183,23.094364699627857,7.594959193182576,0.9143682083997872,772,24,170,11,18,263,116,209,0.149,0.721,0.13,-0.6402,0,1,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,5,12,12,1,1,11,0,25,7,1,4,2,31,41,13,0,4,11,0,2,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,4,3,1,1,5,5,0,0,4,2,26,7,32,35,4,21,0,2,0,1,11,12,0,8,8,124,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457517842031232,0.0,0.0,0.12765608245669238,0.13203422333405626,0.0,0.10194832693465736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338599373259328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642915051160913,0.0,0.0,0.2098157419256664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771261963986943,0.1407952585894667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017467467472638,0.0,0.5199107703856304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314296561433601,0.1098011557740884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048453130034024,0.0,0.13045964898214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445937300384579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651740148203853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332094963735657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419997186521005,0.0,0.13083461647772435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13851094854809473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777173007084094,0.11257006519154764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916305130699247,0.10838171940779168,0.11505863068212775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842598509157346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452723120074574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838084948872292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166904873910559,0.0,0.12587435186610232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545548036176802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981428514154636,0.0,0.0,0.09023331640603828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13327319597011575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736946937121293,0.0,0.0,0.08469422156964766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867304273945708,0.2930465363112393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503858741592886,0.0,0.10225939150181196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856186813510952,0.12946545137711366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Laziest_Person_Ever,2019/01/16,"Need advice for professional help Hi, I'm 17 and I've felt terrible for most of my conscious life so I want to get better. When I told my parents the idea of visiting a professional they said it's a waste of money, but I'm sure I can convince them if I find what exactly I need and do my research. 

I'm not exactly sure what type of professional I need though. So I'm asking for your help. Some guidelines of who does what would be appreciated.

If it would help I'm going to share some personal observations. I don't trust people at all, especially older people, I'm super sensitive to anything, asocial in some extent and my parents call me egoistic when I feel like I'm below anyone. I've done multiple ""tests"" online and they say I have AvPD and ADHD.
",2.9462854251012165,4.801276644736845,5.195000000000004,78.64230769230772,75.3157894736842,8.361133603238867,26.16599190283401,9.057496981413335,2.2439012145748984,598,22,116,14,13,209,91,152,0.047,0.723,0.23,0.9818,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,3,2,5,9,0,0,3,0,8,1,0,0,5,29,26,13,0,8,4,2,2,1,0,2,1,2,0,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,4,4,18,8,14,19,6,8,0,0,0,0,19,3,0,6,4,68,24,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206905918321876,0.15617138969264965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174781023263293,0.0,0.13151583008522855,0.0,0.14940738533643752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134520969889727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319109556599914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985699363945736,0.1635483483845769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080831180319673,0.11417334567498327,0.15344944843067726,0.0,0.14606990528587782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349782208911392,0.0,0.09082772301881216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32136603666481545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804140173449489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288352183933242,0.07807854700100032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35550699379159306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35491588300612953,0.0,0.0,0.22159406491558706,0.13954609978937338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520226298914237,0.1270929474648929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012513914227042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15701945837340586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271205776927976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426424772340754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270589201845752,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PlaneFile,2019/01/16,"I think my feelings are broken. No real feelings for wife and kids   

Throwaway account! I’m in my early 30s, have been married for 11 years and have a 3-year-old child. I consider myself a “normal person”, whatever that means. I had a normal childhood, a big family but I didn’t meet my dad till I was in college. 

When I was growing, I used to be religious. My main struggle when I was religious was the fact that I couldn’t “feel” or “believe” what other people were claiming to “feel” and “believe”. I found myself constantly trying to force myself to “feel” but I just couldn’t. 

I had girlfriends when I was growing, I can’t say I was ever “in love”. I am married, and I can’t say I’ve been “in love” with my wife. She doesn’t know it, I act like if I’m in love, but I don’t “feel” like I am. 

I heard many stories about new parents, seeing their child for the first time and it changing their lives. How much people “feel love” for their children. I thought that was going to be my cure. I had a child but didn’t feel anything. He is growing and I care a lot about him. I want him to succeed in life, but I don’t “feel” much for him. I honestly find him a bit boring and many times I want to put him to sleep earlier so I can watch TV without him. The times I’ve been away for a couple days, I don’t miss him. 

I think this sounds horrible, and many times I feel broken. I do “act” like I love my wife and kid. I have good friends, I’m not an introvert and enjoy going out. I was diagnosed with Adult ADD about a year ago, but I don’t know if that’s related to any of this. 

I’m currently going to therapy, but I feel the therapist is not helping that much. Maybe I have to find a new one. I wonder if what I’m going through is something many people go through, if it has a name, if it has a cure.",1.2959704944178618,2.8127112078947403,3.1851196172248812,92.73659489633177,79.02631578947368,6.18500797448166,22.83094098883573,6.980632752743323,0.5711491228070176,1369,43,315,15,33,460,162,380,0.06,0.746,0.194,0.9952,2,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,3,2,10,17,0,1,17,0,42,8,1,2,2,65,83,29,0,11,17,5,11,3,2,0,2,4,0,8,14,14,0,0,21,1,1,11,15,3,0,2,20,17,61,14,35,59,6,40,0,1,2,5,38,9,0,8,23,209,75,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120960858923417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05462862021944583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610651895790276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547470415072928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101365969167266,0.0,0.0,0.08770190759483314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190398604860626,0.0,0.08498076850133311,0.0,0.0,0.08681052121283045,0.0,0.0,0.08888600174849624,0.0,0.05180759436829417,0.0,0.0,0.08153544651429184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266503344977597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757300065112094,0.0,0.4468018649909693,0.057389307701280215,0.0,0.0,0.14684426896294198,0.06833049014598266,0.0,0.08808006177110758,0.0620644238082557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22827307517867504,0.06737880041944473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053844950278206835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829690322309347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056740976897387226,0.11773869983975835,0.0,0.07093476476435036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829552561656319,0.3625145320675277,0.0,0.0,0.3257767868295413,0.08070444723916367,0.08750526715337732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716013154840946,0.0,0.0,0.15517059208015918,0.0,0.0,0.15741691186112386,0.0,0.0,0.08429508352306903,0.0,0.05443514735258668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919935164155081,0.0,0.0,0.16707660489016254,0.07014293933475095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075600383135835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143557952515348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776670816827138,0.0,0.0,0.06401432702762755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039017008712719,0.0,0.0,0.061843617720328224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398061055971708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186682044836994,0.09327182374733954,0.0,0.10294720271945068,0.0,0.06377475801251478,0.1873693027640789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05454026021614601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938118957846387,0.0,0.0,0.0947639729018413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743733091979657,0.08711679553655381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551938224000459
mentalhealth,harshilr98,2019/01/16,"HELP! I smoked weed and drank on early Sunday night at 12am. I had a panic attack and now I’m constantly paranoid and anxious. So a couple nights ago I drank and smoked weed. I got crossed and I also think I inhaled more than I should have. My heart rate was so high I thought I was going to have a heart attack and that’s what started my panic attack. Ever since then, I’ve been constantly paranoid and anxious. I haven’t been able to sleep and I’ve never felt this way before. I am just looking for any help. Thank you!",0.5607905982905983,2.9049776574074144,2.0722222222222264,95.00269230769231,87.24074074074073,4.063817663817664,18.492877492877493,5.369823440869387,-0.41049088319088334,409,11,86,2,13,132,66,108,0.224,0.6970000000000001,0.079,-0.9307,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,6,6,3,2,3,0,10,5,3,0,2,15,21,12,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,3,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,10,3,14,1,6,10,1,18,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,12,53,17,0,0.1379765857371704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230791822519835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033982576444776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382880972000657,0.0,0.0,0.31174853681859555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4709048556680538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740791200660294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982073442035726,0.0,0.0,0.15266846776157567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124807721107881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247915992573786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841527334610003,0.0,0.11035248001499746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32700583685981155,0.1849655939960453,0.14577983827154484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586558172812965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641604890720532,0.0,0.0,0.25896335784816704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237715892928373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413565753248263,0.0,0.13807623077726966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766053754635863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703030240786412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840982489002967,0.0,0.10953799694112826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095193914767396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zip_coder,2019/01/16,"In your opinion, when posting about mental health, what comments do you find helpful? What do you find discouraging? I deal with anxiety on a daily basis. I'm currently going through my seasonal depression as well. When I have no where else to turn to, I turn to social media. I post about what I'm going through and I feel like people are obligated to say the generic I'm here for you if you need me. It's so generic that I feel like they only said that because I'm depressed. When posting about mental health, what comments do you find helpful? What comments do you feel like don't really help you? Going forward, it's also helpful to me to know what I can say to make others feel better.",3.6957152406417113,5.455213772058826,4.849465240641711,82.31532085561498,73.04411764705883,7.0042780748663125,28.540106951871657,7.686295010490155,1.8577882352941169,547,22,101,7,11,180,74,136,0.112,0.737,0.151,0.6793,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,8,1,1,11,8,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,1,0,15,25,8,0,2,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,11,2,0,1,8,0,0,4,2,3,1,0,1,7,19,5,17,24,0,15,0,3,0,0,21,4,0,2,9,68,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906071571666153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476204904180202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551146696773425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955507383877684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770700800515036,0.2133822379345042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347949752904367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250534435096747,0.2654834078032551,0.0,0.0,0.3396513958974797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21119862335196424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26334114315412016,0.0,0.0,0.3321162417515693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807703300225895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18155339682486032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268579071337863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24966849372207905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918498170495914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421054418739988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587752706928578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.355906560988106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793558331288755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783102149976787,0.19701661306478296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262723149730854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694752066486977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113761665400474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,exausta,2019/01/16,"Broke up with therapist and mental health. Tired. (Rant) I'm still not sure why. Maybe because I don't believe I'm ill anymore of even if I ever was - my problems aren't that big. They don't have much of an impact on anyone else's life besides my own. I'm not what you could call a dramatic person even if I wosh I were instead of keeping this to myself. I don't think psychology could name it as a disorder if it's all internally.

Perhaps it was a big mistake to go out and get help to depression and anxiety - I had never dissociated before and it scared me. I wouldn't go to the doctor if I wasn't afraid. Now I feel like it's all a huge misunderstanding - after combos of different meds, getting diagnosed and not diagnosed and usually invalidated. My 20s were robbed from me by myself. Was that depression? Was that one of my personality traits? Was that always there? 

I can't go to therapy anymore. I feel fine. It works for some people, and everypne should get as much help as possible. I just don't think there's anything to solve.",2.1565424430641817,4.489751265700483,4.272643202208421,81.98652173913045,79.82125603864735,7.6143547273982035,24.832988267770876,8.563005593585519,1.9324379572118708,820,31,162,19,21,281,119,207,0.15,0.7709999999999999,0.079,-0.94,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,1,1,9,10,0,2,6,0,20,7,0,0,5,35,34,14,0,10,8,0,2,1,0,2,7,0,0,2,12,9,0,1,4,0,0,3,12,7,0,1,9,2,22,3,22,21,6,15,0,3,0,0,8,6,0,5,7,113,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615979547790608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760112296336056,0.0,0.2530573440516904,0.08920943619880857,0.13072449967548586,0.10499045152381342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777379285467402,0.0,0.10856426684039924,0.14374305410869528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13027714456150793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20373028399409446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197751763858078,0.25898938500097424,0.0,0.13329773203732456,0.14622188615379975,0.1305872450976476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657974647702803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685355604450809,0.11540669198968545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902022726232454,0.09114576630533908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999715327814914,0.0,0.21752614064280634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561542597585255,0.0,0.0,0.17103322731563686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340218690978335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011608655649513,0.06233091407054145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817489846977695,0.0,0.14171664432633427,0.0,0.12857428475980046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18757728684448824,0.0,0.0984003559233136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645396534875578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845042043762984,0.22280219827193246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383136599575086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208029739193398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773346452517184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188844673985947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024605550202574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590299279067426,0.1481344206903221,0.0,0.1635008690067558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466386072009162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405153366911649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512437607863127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928823976096637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LavendarAmy,2019/01/16,"freaking out after medication change, what should I do? so I was doing better but still bad. I was on duloxitine (30mg a night).

I still had a shitton of anxiety. so my therapist prescribed me cipralex and something else but I stopped taking it after realizing it interacts with my estrogen pills.

it's been 4 days. but I'm freaking out

I am constantly crying and acting weird.

I feel ugly stupid and hate myself

I hurt myself a little bit with the end of a brush and top of the pencil (hadn't self harmed in so long)

should I go back to my old pills? should I stop taking everything?

I feel awful

I really need help right now. I'm very suicidal (I won't do anything tho don't worry)",1.313074817518249,3.7910464160583968,3.5114187956204397,85.13822308394163,84.83941605839415,6.6366788321167896,21.701186131386862,7.8658589789855275,1.308182846715328,537,18,105,11,16,183,88,137,0.335,0.593,0.07200000000000001,-0.9928,0,0,1,0,0,2,17.0,0,0,0,2,8,9,2,0,6,1,14,4,0,0,0,20,23,11,1,4,3,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,4,8,0,2,3,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,5,3,19,1,12,14,1,23,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,14,70,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994131001038145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397790967498109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061072430962847,0.14182477699086107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022606578098555,0.1854415210495009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968780158860706,0.0,0.0,0.18355672685226354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865816185214346,0.10954469936909368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189500548060613,0.0,0.1504442402993844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265789361610835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17177115220894726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653451660673903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770013178848894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385259174241362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818370687400711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702428698204178,0.0,0.15031945331642088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711145982713213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594794722487376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15940072323916796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823795324645336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881572336181326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505825595230926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719949085472111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307653944112976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712984818682963,0.28401867255432617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579766192664995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554249497951958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972188443913232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015107571738766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249958165875615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,minustrack,2019/01/16,"Volunteers for an (anonymous) interview for a book I'm publishing for my senior project? I'm currently a senior in high school, and at my school seniors take a semester out of school to work on a big senior project that they present to everyone at the end of the year. Some examples that I've seen are learning to animate, getting a pilot's license, making an e.p., learning an instrument, whatever the student is interested in.

For me, I had a few interests- writing, psychology, and illustration, so I wanted to bring them together for my project.
I decided I wanted to create and self-publish an illustrated book about the experiences and stories of people with mental illnesses.
I'm not going to go into depth right now, but my mom has been diagnosed with multiple illnesses and has been ever since I was very young, and I have recently come to terms with my own mental illnesses. My experiences throughout this long process have brought a lot of things to my attention and also changed the way I thought about the world, my family, and myself.

I could name many times where people who didn't understand the conditions that my mom and I share, and were judgmental based on ignorance- or sometimes they simply just didn't quite understand what we were going through even if they weren't being judgmental. I wished that people would become more aware, not just based on some statistics, a brief definition, or very basic understanding, but on a more personal level.

That's how I came up with the idea to use my project to try and tackle some of these wishes.
I believe that by sharing the thoughts, feelings, and stories of a person with mental illness, it becomes easier for people who don't experience these things to understand on a deeper and more personal level than can be achieved through more statistic-focused advocacy efforts.

Which brings me here.

Although I have a handful of interviews from other sources, I was wondering if anyone would be willing to volunteer to submit a written interview that might make an anonymous appearance within the book. If so, I'll gladly post the questions for people to respond to! The way the interview would be formatted within the book would be using snippets of conversation and stories taken from the interviews followed by a visual that accompanies a snippet, similar to the style of Humans of New York / Brandon Stanton, but with artwork instead of photography.

If anyone is interested or has questions, please don't hesitate to let me know.

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mentalhealth,dr-mike-litoris,2019/01/16,"I'm constantly thinking crazy things to do to myself and my surroundings (but never do them) what's up? I'm just trying to understand. I was just working with a (really sharp) knife, and then my brain basically said to me:

> Hey, why don't you slam that knife in your eyeball and see what happens?

This happens in many situations, for instance in the car I think every once in a while:

> I'm now driving 130kph, what would happen if I yank the wheel to one side?

And stuff like that. So that part is about myself but also I think things about my surroundings like:

> Hey see that super expensive tv over there (not mine)? You should probably pick up a hammer and throw it trough the tv.

I've never ever done anything crazy like those things, and I don't really feel like I actually want to. However I do feel like something must be wrong with me, why else would these thoughts enter my mind?

I must admit: I probably have autism because I have some things that I do and think that really fit with autism but I've never been diagnosed. Can this have something to do with that?

I'm not really scared for my health or my surroundings, so don't worry about telling me about suicide hotlines etc. I'm just trying to understand what the hell is happening in my head.",4.393848566308243,5.6896815120967785,4.913978494623656,84.37152329749105,70.57258064516128,8.575627240143369,25.87455197132617,8.998388855275968,1.8429589605734769,997,30,200,19,18,318,125,248,0.08199999999999999,0.779,0.14,0.9072,1,0,2,0,0,1,36.0,0,3,1,2,13,9,1,1,7,0,23,4,2,1,6,44,46,17,1,7,10,0,3,5,0,5,2,1,0,0,21,11,0,0,10,2,1,4,8,3,0,1,5,6,28,6,26,35,3,25,1,0,2,0,9,13,1,3,13,137,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.09965840074780732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166861466365742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403944180800219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06225391017882721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400428233806847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035988372695664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365382296095252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045084222785456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531159045388298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138953790453549,0.0,0.0923771051077096,0.08604396808731858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327403800723756,0.1459149705957011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612320563197061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480880068424424,0.10855315444547893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24946341071229397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035378195325706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031162397900911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362932304456763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087588452357636,0.06920194060075895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105904602820722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202141286938039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616932821544547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714341573923352,0.0,0.10224405079792337,0.0,0.16275938881436453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479177958721662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15724025994814664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690767410603735,0.11170720201100948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926097430916748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713868860268109,0.2617480269305154,0.0,0.08107513675353556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386711355213526,0.0,0.0,0.2126296022851976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06023544660739798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430225156138624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434756909426743,0.10371199193441187,0.0,0.14509207672926847,0.11165668365792722,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SarahWasley,2019/01/16,"Research Survey of Those ages 16 to 22 Hi my name is Sarah Wasley and I am a Florida student involved in the research program at my high school currently conducting a research survey regarding the correlation between mental health and career aspirations/education goals of young adults. I am here asking for survey respondents between the ages of 16 and 22. The survey is a short eleven questions inquiring as to your personal and family history of mental illness as well as your future goals, and completely anonymous. There are zero personal identification questions, and your privacy is protected by my institutional review ethics board. This is a completely independent study, and the data gathered will be evaluated against existing data regarding the mental health and suicide rates of established professionals within creative and artistic fields. I ask that anybody who is willing participates, it would be a great help in contributing to the broader field of knowledge regarding the impact of specific professional fields on mental health and vice versa. Thank you.

[https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/297RWG7](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/297RWG7) ",12.577574025974025,14.863399931428578,10.775688311688313,46.14212987012988,52.542857142857144,13.449350649350649,45.05194805194805,12.719339214003902,7.011857142857144,968,51,106,31,11,299,110,175,0.039,0.866,0.094,0.8402,1,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,4,0,2,3,3,0,0,13,0,13,4,0,1,0,18,16,13,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,5,10,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,10,3,23,11,0,12,0,0,0,0,18,7,0,2,5,79,15,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632850688113593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952826156831581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274736377436486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524846622853603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44903763657503376,0.0,0.0,0.09438498068709013,0.148778234076561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5676315216347764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459075527134716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154888989927359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251177599324694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402819087622455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964305826193626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660913266323073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003056959067427,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,genericreddaccount,2019/01/16,"Hey there. Never posted to this sub before but maybe you fine people (titanic reference, nbd) can help me with some trust struggles I’m having with my therapist. So I’ll keep it short. 
I’ve had a therapist I’ve grown to trust for 8 months or so. I’m an adult. 
I have trust issues, commitment, ptsd, anxiety through the roof, whatever. The whole lot of it. 
Lots of loss in my life and face trauma after trauma. (Not looking for sympathy, just setting the stage). 

Anyway. Couple sessions ago we were talking about trying to find a routine and try to ease my way into making more or better friends and having some a healthier social circle. Something to get me going, a meetup group or some type of social engagement since I thrive on using intelligent and wit. I don’t get enough of that during my daily life. 

So my therapist recommends a “men’s retreat” and suggested the name and organization of Justin Sterling. The Justin sterling institute of relationship. 
This apparently could be all mine for the low, low price of 600 bucks. 

After a quick google search, I’m talking like 6 seconds of scrolling, it was evident this guy is a hack and preys on the weak minded. At the minimum. Goodie the name your mouth will be left agape. 
Sketch as can be. Total cult. Got goosebumps reading the (admittedly dated) reports of what has and continues to go on. Even the recent reports corroborate the type of stuff that transpires there. 

Even the FAQ on their OWN website essentially says (paraphrasing obviously)
“ya there’s news were a cult, we’re not. Trust us”. 

You have to put that on your own frequently asked questions page? Sweet Jesus. 

I have nothing to go on but the Internet reviews because his cult doesn’t divulge info on the weekend and you apparently sign your ability to talk about it? It’s absolutely terrifying for someone like me to even consider. This is in no way therapeutic, in my estimation. 


Question is: how in the hell can I trust my therapist even in the slightest after this kind of recommendation? I mean. What the hell is going on here? He knows I use independent thought and am not going to just assimilate for the sake of it. And this stuff seems downright abusive. Why suggest this kind of this to an abuse victim and anxiety issues up the ass. 


I would love any insight as to what the people think. 

Personally, I don’t think I can trust this therapist anymore based on this truly bizarre suggestion. 

Am I overreacting? I don’t think so but I’d love some insight from this sub. 

Thanks in advance! 
Believe me I appreciate it. ",3.3446755566633435,6.153577120762716,4.444411764705882,79.68237620471919,78.63983050847456,7.5155201063476245,27.263376537055503,8.4952907291091,2.407356048521104,2019,85,353,45,51,657,253,472,0.131,0.695,0.174,0.9787,2,0,1,0,1,0,64.0,2,7,1,3,19,28,3,1,31,0,30,9,4,5,5,66,58,25,0,2,11,0,0,2,1,2,3,1,0,4,26,16,0,1,15,2,2,8,9,10,0,1,6,3,36,18,60,46,14,47,3,3,1,3,38,22,3,12,14,237,62,7,0.0,0.19511762694151966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298897639291199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055993666452722295,0.0,0.12597894580548333,0.0,0.08165863379444709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697629399167709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019337963357233,0.0,0.07006482852575863,0.09276839176467233,0.0,0.07282257427634732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574137065990178,0.09110706282216767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507868827007767,0.0,0.2175377863590572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525678832611221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361527403291095,0.0,0.08603795436648845,0.0,0.2339771054137306,0.0,0.0658543999079736,0.0,0.0,0.0815290255154153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055190414363936416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17188203859488496,0.0,0.07318710853508291,0.0,0.17148778467533513,0.04525162202542951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894620803686551,0.0,0.11631761233694775,0.08045381658822473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914442116441112,0.0,0.0,0.14000415409452138,0.1486291816363929,0.0,0.05496223885243973,0.0,0.08272106968486961,0.08969182677797954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831393972732465,0.0,0.06572258327707747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350527908760326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900694684599012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416764873665868,0.07189565347516336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885845619265769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625043984476236,0.08277391456023332,0.1844781122576716,0.0,0.08236175710159925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130029792617803,0.08840178132247375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547965528140766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495876546753702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811206448538465,0.0,0.0,0.1678694507514286,0.06976596985592713,0.06338895049794932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607909695114149,0.18851799835949945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19854405281066906,0.0,0.07580712580325688,0.0,0.4780123831945662,0.0,0.15827943232387712,0.0,0.06536834563844046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180619706373172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904425007685518,0.14222973861480434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071448512995687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429856898441878,0.09192908318054348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849160051293002,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theoneeyedpete,2019/01/16,"How can I go abroad again? My partner & I haven’t been abroad in nearly 5 years - at first this was due to my anxiety...but it’s become more of a habit even though I cope pretty well with my anxiety now, rarely panicking etc.

I want to stop stopping us going away and making up excuses - but I’m terrified. My girlfriend is supportive, but I can tell now I’m ‘better’ that I need to step up finally.",2.2332404181184664,3.902157585365856,4.088327526132404,86.61573170731708,76.8048780487805,8.10034843205575,23.90940766550523,8.841846274778883,1.6852139372822306,310,10,66,7,7,105,62,82,0.13699999999999998,0.759,0.103,-0.4035,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,10,14,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,2,0,11,3,11,12,2,18,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,9,45,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23988729860995306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937074074624076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080130138975146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24451940607840866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958107089938236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469200299545971,0.14623291130257776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24253337458057805,0.0,0.18832311244273933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516539595292276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778652175551624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641656307393009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22524385586783585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702013851672497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512426106483863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351375477155536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175248212190571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663174849561683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058772362225907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990655966086504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257463300215414
mentalhealth,joshua_047,2019/01/16,"how would i go about telling my parents about my depression i don't really have anything else t say, just want a little advice :)",4.0368,5.82200568,4.8610000000000015,82.47550000000003,72.2,8.200000000000001,28.5,8.841846274778883,2.3530000000000006,102,4,19,2,2,33,22,25,0.14400000000000002,0.7,0.156,-0.1725,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,5,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,4,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33936047655811025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857839381495831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991139408558956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901099979390099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19736866931269206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480683371867019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856161600150999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22247808633787486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27617301289143165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035402450604289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048362385246352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466995507700025,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-Mhere---,2019/01/16,"What can I say..? Hii
I recently found out there was some talk about me in the class (23 people, we all have the same classes together). For context, I passed out in the first year of hs and at the beginning of the second year (this one) I panicked when the teacher was giving me questions in front of class (basically, my mind went nuts and I cried, then went out when teacher told me to go to calm down).

I am seeing a therapist, but I don't want anyone to know. Guess they already suspect that. I've been telling everyone I needed to go on checkups and didn't specify further.

I was wondering, what can I say where I'm going (every 3 weeks now) without it seeming suspicious?",1.8442217484008518,4.18859679104478,3.3771855010660983,87.89761194029852,81.08955223880595,6.5151385927505325,25.989339019189767,7.7094869923839395,1.5920592750533045,526,22,105,9,14,173,93,134,0.079,0.873,0.048,-0.4456,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,1,1,6,1,0,0,7,0,10,1,0,0,1,22,27,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,7,0,0,6,0,0,7,3,0,0,3,9,3,16,1,19,18,3,28,0,0,1,0,9,11,0,5,10,73,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938667269900116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283921028262053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19297571152994045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480175787967333,0.16786931697328406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494329162265367,0.0,0.19262353399998156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852781073575285,0.2995281718050521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19353080567214787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654887382053184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773862420299299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026414351027424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904499436107895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179406415606644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19680127679187634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734623391319575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794148228332614,0.0,0.0,0.13999383800088247,0.15993204364698965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120454946979216,0.15355165030130266,0.0,0.0,0.20397747176341505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786931697328406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362033693656447,0.0,0.14091952002250396,0.0,0.0,0.3257133638412841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693487952365419,0.19051695343507707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262637114806407
mentalhealth,1randomperson11,2019/01/16,"Self care Does anyone else here have terrible self care like bathing, brushing hair, etc? ",4.928000000000001,8.477510133333336,2.2816666666666663,92.0625,81.0,5.666666666666668,27.5,7.1686216300943375,1.6469999999999998,72,3,12,1,2,19,13,15,0.135,0.478,0.387,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939580699695672,0.2842196154932449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5656367365764126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427465245321975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23172438707561535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30936402380514405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551911443111012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5787581214623306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Brizzzled,2019/01/16,Angry that businesses claim to support Mental Health Awareness day... But the moment someone starts struggling to do their job because of a very clearly mental illness they are shown the door.,9.6784375,11.19800996875,7.243750000000002,71.62625000000001,58.6875,7.65,41.0,7.1686216300943375,3.6036375000000014,157,8,20,1,2,45,29,32,0.222,0.638,0.14,-0.5221,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,12,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178655601022448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923213170307853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169841706971371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959282372391582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6010527598065407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526730712179282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21107516260356696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117547113474681,0.0,0.0,0.33840611952803945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460551685338229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Superior-Fish,2019/01/16,im just done i don’t know anymore. everything feels fake and not worth it and even my only friend that i can see every day hust suggested we don’t speak anymore because im not interested in anything and i dont feel like i can speak to anyone,2.641923076923078,3.8596185769230758,4.456923076923079,86.26307692307695,74.76923076923076,7.507692307692308,26.461538461538463,8.07648339933343,1.519753846153847,194,7,42,3,4,66,37,52,0.181,0.755,0.064,-0.6038,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,10,10,3,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,1,5,6,3,2,9,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,2,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45728675885097997,0.16120573023142015,0.0,0.189722781875948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054097418645464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868550153295346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23593241670322465,0.27020256394601816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227592085081332,0.0,0.19424808920633455,0.0,0.2072032294214248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23314573924775664,0.16470477161193836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812214780101396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980665371287916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670410100692522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263495149034168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17534345696648695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371828368896895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,naturally0dd,2019/01/16,"How do I get out of this spot I'm in? I have spent years drifting in and out of depression, and I've been unable to find a way out of it. My friendships are short-lived and my relationships are scarce. I have poor financial planning and I've become in debt trying to buy things to make myself even temporarily happy. I can manage to keep a job for some time, but after I leave one, I find myself unable to support myself enough to find a new one, and fall further behind in debt. I also have no energy to fix any of this, despite being fairly healthy.

I'm just not happy, and I want to know how to be happier and have more confidence in myself to do so. How do I do this? What can I do for myself in a positive way?",3.497,3.9821593666666635,5.285333333333334,83.88600000000002,72.0,8.133333333333333,24.333333333333336,8.238735603445708,1.2813333333333334,555,14,119,8,10,191,81,150,0.109,0.705,0.18600000000000005,0.9559,3,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,4,0,16,0,0,4,0,24,25,13,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,10,0,1,4,0,5,2,2,1,0,2,2,0,17,3,27,21,3,18,0,1,0,0,1,10,0,1,4,92,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535178861305487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360165716911307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007374056989996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565478793366924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18780457730580927,0.0,0.12004942966890103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4983704947158571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496104124667012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869694927803856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803667465477736,0.16155484131388198,0.0,0.0,0.09988943082796638,0.0,0.0,0.1924554539602274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132486108267485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17554298688101386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463278184218004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951400463726568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20625679847442696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075192365078152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598453810122778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340173553844673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720556407561536,0.2885420441562201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704617807783302
mentalhealth,maaapleloops,2019/01/16,"Has anyone else been to hospital physically unwell to be told it’s caused by anxiety? I’ve had numbness in my left arm and hand all day, tight chest, dizziness and nausea. Not of it was stock standard either, all symptoms felt different than I’d experienced them before.

I went to the doctor near work and he said a neck injury, take some aspirin.

I went to the pharmacy. ‘Mmm no that should definitely be checked out at the hospital’

I went to the hospital. Now I’d presented to this hospital before with suicidal ideation via ambulance. When I arrived a clinician asked me some questions before telling me that I’m very high-functioning, should go home and the feeling would go away - I was ropable. Today, my heart rate was higher than normal. The triage nurse asked if I’d ever experienced anxiety similar to this. I said no, not in the 15 years I’ve suffered with it. I waited 3 hours in the waiting room for a doctor to take me into a room, sit me down, checked out my arm and took a seat himself. He asked me to tell him what was wrong and as I started telling him I could see him shifting forward to break the news. ‘It’s likely you’ve pinched a nerve under your armpit that can cause that kind of pain in your arm, but the rest is most likely caused by anxiety.’

I cried, he gave me a medical certificate and I left within 5 minutes of entering the room.

When I got outside I REALLY lost it and cried to the point I literally couldn’t breathe and was clutching onto the bench I was leaning on. Please, someone tell me I’m not alone. I feel ashamed, embarrassed, like I’ve wasted everyone’s time. Like I’m weak for not coping better.

What are other people’s experiences with hospitals and anxiety attacks? Am I going crazy? 

I’d like to highlight that my mother had Munchausen by Proxy and as a result I spent a lot of time in hospitals growing up and am completely terrified of them now. I’m scared of going for them to say there’s nothing wrong or be invalidated. I’ve been known to avoid medical treatment in serious circumstances until it’s too late and someone else makes the decision for me. 

Any advice/thoughts/suggestions on this would be very appreciated. Are there other subreddits that could shed some light? I don’t plan on sharing this experience with the people in my life.",4.944960407239819,6.361401468325791,5.7081872171945705,78.7392944004525,69.38461538461539,9.235407239819006,31.233314479638015,9.595489714322824,2.9734545248868782,1827,77,340,41,32,596,227,442,0.158,0.762,0.081,-0.9866,1,2,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,3,4,8,21,1,4,24,0,29,19,9,5,3,61,61,21,1,9,8,1,5,5,0,4,10,3,4,0,20,20,0,4,6,0,3,11,8,13,0,0,22,12,41,8,57,28,9,55,0,2,1,0,27,28,0,8,21,210,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853512596866707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560412013014997,0.0,0.1891288401590079,0.0,0.0,0.057622551487286525,0.08443814392474608,0.0,0.0,0.23112492503094165,0.09375256167445577,0.07742632106561123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21037292652816805,0.0,0.0,0.0728843957335782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539713881441702,0.0,0.0,0.08640466234415617,0.0,0.0,0.13159436130508798,0.0,0.18104565875742987,0.053147229662346925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610025749228799,0.0,0.1686989756880136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376849174382858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745439981969293,0.0,0.07874568989961374,0.0,0.16122436478462449,0.0,0.0,0.08333731279005653,0.0,0.07912592402916105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873405889647092,0.0,0.06591030585482913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765550679429842,0.0,0.08707002984109842,0.08266332291108093,0.0,0.08115663479711592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581668312302003,0.0,0.0,0.09296136510288742,0.0,0.17907605529007103,0.0,0.05820817907493691,0.2013052911395585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995956829193474,0.07006150409244903,0.0,0.0,0.055008898088703975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603755189038294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074369085684341,0.07907401841869842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768938586191644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426456937539828,0.0,0.0,0.09046074726608996,0.07790349694447668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231736087046503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279355618019392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15678037538122894,0.06553524309533347,0.08250616134203861,0.0,0.06566960272334152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965039292404782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832978016219228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014248125207536,0.0,0.0,0.08565489516688847,0.1239231888575406,0.0,0.2881177062303683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961071391858587,0.0,0.07811445213153978,0.07874568989961374,0.09155984845322364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599273084825306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291829502346255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059995006880190827,0.0,0.0,0.11708251187872153,0.18020343061339306,0.0,0.05306893594684066
mentalhealth,therewillbeniccage,2019/01/16,"How can I best be there for my brother and keep healthy boundaries? Hey there

​

My brother is currently going through a rough time. He has these episodes which are always alcohol-induced where he says he wants to kill himself. Usually, it goes like this. He will hit me up on facebook and say he is feeling down, we will talk about how he's feeling and what might make it better. He will keep drinking and then say he's going to jump off a bridge. There is a huge bridge close to his place. I say his place, he lives at home with Mum. I am unable to get to them as i live in another part of town and dont drive. So when this happens i have to call the police to let them know whats going on. They go round to Mums and take him to the hospital. This has repeated many time over the last few years. The most recent time being only last week where the police ended up dropping him at mine, he ran, they detained him and we all went to the hospital together. 

​

My honest opinion is he would never kill himself nor does he really want to. I have come to this as i use to do the exact same thing as him. I feel for him and want to be there for him and support him. Im writing this now as he is drinking at home again tonight and we are playing out this scene that we always do and im tired of it. I know if i keep talking to him he is going to say he going to kill himself so i just said i was going to sleep. Am i being an asshole? Myself and Mum are really struggling with this. He makes no effort to find solutions to this when he is sober but just keeps going back to it. I have a personal experience of addiction myself, i was only in rehab a few years ago. How can i best support my brother and also look after myself?",3.165022373748137,4.1054816592797785,4.370706371191137,88.45679682505863,73.12742382271469,7.105092691242278,25.5189644150863,7.321109707123232,1.0609121244406556,1353,42,292,14,26,445,175,361,0.045,0.867,0.08800000000000001,0.8894,1,0,3,0,1,1,38.0,4,0,4,4,20,12,3,1,13,0,34,6,1,6,3,54,68,29,3,5,4,6,5,1,0,5,3,6,2,1,18,22,2,4,6,3,0,13,4,4,0,0,5,12,46,8,49,52,8,57,0,0,2,0,56,20,0,4,24,206,64,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563647873903149,0.0,0.0,0.06963421375844303,0.08395133979141434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282035639919792,0.1307280044349701,0.1702284873412343,0.19090569849155228,0.0,0.08237170295412426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060403899243625325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487712421457112,0.06947545991467978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802133757668952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766812428564271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874395655915566,0.0,0.09206580355222893,0.1539078682366973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957635968149865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684180392884472,0.0,0.0,0.11915921252829845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717977911741656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041041713432475486,0.0,0.357156657416419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946587319460602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759401774602816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697056285979554,0.0,0.0,0.27929295693420586,0.26072820362038385,0.0,0.0863434802557672,0.12806551987250964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032774746675007,0.0,0.038377975270050886,0.0,0.13873090079735176,0.0,0.06596636425817841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048720636467251,0.07964237853940641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333437642719403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06058641177498667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948914197920354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506734389805543,0.0,0.0,0.06859114279726558,0.16414638353908145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064861097450677,0.0,0.07756352540061592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472373596279155,0.3123502025942573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786116705150789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212267842971993,0.0,0.0,0.17828642789411522,0.0,0.0,0.0590635379035245,0.12627896884465534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052188410971844894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741805009461389,0.09028734657127713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784624549463167,0.08651716723572117,0.0,0.13900121506868732,0.0,0.06301203376712902,0.0,0.0,0.07282121553314487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580317486938149,0.0,0.19090569849155228,0.10117361048219056
mentalhealth,LavenderBrown0,2019/01/16,"This 10 year challenge has me reflecting on the absolute sh*t show my life has been the past decade ... I don't want to be ungrateful, because I am healthy and still young at (a few months into) 25. 

​

* The past 10 year, I have gained close to 70 pounds.
* I lost my dad in high school, grand mother in college, and two of my aunts just this past year. (I guess my mom has had an even shittier past few years than I've had... ) 
* I used to have 2 close friends, 2 very close cousins, 5-10 people I would hang out with at least once a week. Out of those, 0 is left. Maybe 1, occasionally but the last time I saw her it was my birthday. Or close to it. 
* I have been single. Last boyfriend was at age 15. Exactly 10 years. 
* I had the chance to study what I wanted, but fucked it up. 
* I had the chance to do well in school, but didn't. I fucked it up. Now I have to make up for all of that! 

I literally can't think of anything good that's happened the past 10 years. Nothing after my dad died. Not even getting into college, graduating (5.5 years it took me to graduate with a 2.7 GPA), barely getting into graduate school... I don't like how I look, who I am, my friends (I don't have any, so let's just call them people I hang out with!). Seeing those 10 year challenge pictures is miserable. Everyone's evolved and grown and changed, and I'm desperately holding onto that 15 year old because that was the last time I loved myself and my life. 

​

Anyone else in the same boat? Like, your life just went downhill during the time that it was supposed to be the most interesting and exciting? Everyone told me the 20s are going to be amazing. I'm half way done, and I don't remember the past 5 years... because nothing happened to want to make me remember them! Mostly stuff I wanna forget, and never have to deal with. Which is why I'm not even hopeful. I've missed out! Say I somehow start loving myself and life again, what am I supposed to do at 30? People have fun in their early 20s. 30s is for settling down...",1.1786363636363646,3.45091131695332,2.4848218673218696,93.72290847665852,83.25061425061426,5.46904176904177,21.780712530712535,6.7829847944221076,0.4289464373464376,1554,51,339,18,44,499,196,407,0.102,0.7609999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.9488,0,1,0,0,0,0,90.0,0,1,3,4,13,21,2,1,17,0,42,8,0,4,3,58,72,16,1,6,9,6,0,2,2,1,4,1,0,0,20,25,0,1,4,1,0,6,9,5,1,2,17,4,44,16,49,50,8,69,0,3,3,4,20,28,2,6,36,212,64,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15470832800509435,0.1735003458091503,0.04854961180697373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04991956705182644,0.07315045027662702,0.0587502635143269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305613251034853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290012055188322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552420883457336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360293237440083,0.0,0.0,0.07409454595619151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305971120510785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05963959674366511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414629870236932,0.0,0.0,0.13643792735743054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103159358889215,0.13200314855030687,0.0745996743879245,0.0,0.040574223333445306,0.05988096699574275,0.0,0.0,0.07864731471423035,0.0,0.1262649896407577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754305056036303,0.0,0.07090924632625226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17458419648818596,0.0,0.0,0.07756858138607077,0.07300406469620367,0.20170763170298944,0.06975791747885929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059952044915373676,0.0,0.07793377046647101,0.0,0.1288697370394155,0.0,0.09531061383812586,0.0,0.07172375155766908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361448722476206,0.05698512183958771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506259623130588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700680246276464,0.0,0.07491482607178587,0.07603109539581203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4089155375378847,0.14848451739875934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174844911990827,0.0,0.0,0.056774489805038325,0.0,0.2167602415305614,0.0568908882338876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05053225337595983,0.0,0.057014452344501976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172777582540708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04574567972397769,0.0,0.0,0.12488930084446735,0.0,0.0,0.06821896367871527,0.07932012512712491,0.0,0.0,0.06974047749710423,0.0,0.0,0.06166053265137076,0.0,0.05890660922606116,0.12632812468600307,0.05666835119616739,0.05726706816569185,0.0,0.06419077998943103,0.0661819221588212,0.064420976701943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050715459064804215,0.0,0.1735003458091503,0.4597467897532953
mentalhealth,Voyager87,2019/01/16,"How do I get the idea of death out of my head. (not suicide related) Recently I've been repeating over in my head about how we're all bags of meat that are going to break down and die eventually.

I'm not sure why this is lying so heavily on me but it keeps popping up in my thought stream.

Obviously this is manifesting in worrying about my mum(who just had a minor cancer worry) & dad (who's had 2 heart attacks...)

What's the best way to get these thoughts out of my head?",3.4487755102040802,4.405253265306122,4.9210204081632645,84.71683673469387,72.46938775510203,8.865306122448981,28.285714285714285,9.23628265651192,2.1621265306122446,372,14,82,8,7,125,74,98,0.19,0.757,0.054000000000000006,-0.9141,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,3,0,7,5,4,2,3,16,14,5,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,0,7,2,17,9,2,14,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,2,51,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972939909238232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071531919786269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910917870234527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18898024257497348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19026858697777013,0.0,0.10348570827843652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5606293458655034,0.0,0.0,0.21577703675953275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20555697916629706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16184959101471566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797914992422312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991764533227549,0.0,0.17161728035825627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28911758419363204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453423821110029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430752961558018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698416279104088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EricaLauren,2019/01/16,"Life doesn’t feel like it’s worth it anymore For as long as I remember, I always felt like I was disappointing to someone, whether it be my parents, my teachers/professors, or one of the few friends I had growing up. I was bullied so I just hid anything that had to do with my personality and isolated myself for years so my self confidence is pretty bad but all of this time with no self confidence and feeling like a burden to everyone is catching up to me. I never really did the best in school but now I’m 20 and struggling to even hold a job. I used to be upset a lot but now I’m just numb to everything. I have no motivation for anything because nothing feels worth it anymore. Life right now just feels like a big waiting game for me to not be so afraid and go for a 3rd and final suicide attempt. I’m sorry for being all over the place but I’m just in a really bad place right now and I feel like I’ve forgotten everything that makes life worth living. I can’t really come out to anyone about this so now I’m here just rambling on but I have no idea what to do anymore. ",3.4637946428571422,4.424002790178573,5.041428571428573,83.85357142857143,72.4375,8.278571428571428,28.732142857142854,8.660442795831766,2.0592375000000005,851,33,179,15,16,288,116,224,0.185,0.645,0.16899999999999998,-0.7241,2,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,3,17,15,0,3,9,0,17,4,0,3,3,40,33,19,1,0,13,1,6,5,1,0,4,0,0,3,9,10,0,2,9,1,3,4,7,8,0,1,6,6,19,7,30,23,5,26,0,1,0,0,6,12,0,2,15,124,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090850737028784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250533592769076,0.07639329608417,0.0,0.1798143109299573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824459102998249,0.0666005373231511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465587137688055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411308926412912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721615757166087,0.0,0.0,0.10439736958160696,0.19638182379824531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762118236049701,0.3122057848976889,0.10490146628836636,0.11968297914405596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440976605842135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209185775347625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233350471573042,0.0,0.0,0.10841824633122124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315090816261307,0.2668811830161205,0.0,0.0964737369940991,0.09668680634644562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288428033974908,0.0,0.0,0.0729282360896752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426381608426532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483265224653457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403368582914864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131420776397557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953968269839766,0.22829542579289805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115111786481413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099737167747414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237640658215641,0.1866055150252726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057140041117756,0.0,0.0,0.2279525700628342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925709946848784,0.0,0.0,0.12230148298604138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421653913503615,0.0,0.11950670496725373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370718538251227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436082093126756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035632459894328
mentalhealth,RTDmedia,2019/01/16,"Emotional issues in my three year old nephew So I watch my nephew (who is three) during week days to pick up some extra money and I've noticed some symptoms that to me look like depression. 

He is usually playing in this aggressive teeth clenched fists balled up angry character constantly beating up and killing his toys. Also getting aggressive with me hitting me or grabbing me while trying to scratch me. All while tensing up and gritting his teeth and making angry faces. Sometimes he's just a normal kid but most of the day and on most days he is playing this aggressive character. Some days he's extremely irritable and doesn't want to listen to a word I say and is combative throughout the day. Also on some days when these behaviors are really bad he will have a full on breakdown and fall on the floor in a pile.

​

The back story on him is that his parents like to break up and see other people then get back together. His father can be extremely aggressive and has had the cops called on him during intense arguments with the mother when only them and the kids are in the house many times. I believe that his mother often provoked the aggressive father or at least has many times in the past. The kid even had to go through a situation last year where his mother had left him with her current boy toy while she went to work and the father just happened to break into the apartment where the kid and his mom were staying at the time and he found the boy toy and my nephew ( his son) and proceed beat the shit out of the boy toy and choked him out until he lost consciousness in front of the kid and then took the kid and hid at a relatives house. Eventually the police found him and my nephew was returned to his mother. But those types of situations where the kid's parents argue in an extremely aggressive way over the top manner happened a lot and have only stopped now since the parents are back in the phase where they aren't together. We don't expect that to last much longer though since they always get back together and go through it all over again while dragging the kids with them. We even suspect that he has hit her in front of the kid though she always denies it. 

​

So with that info, can someone verify my suspension that the kid is now dealing with some hefty emotional issues and maybe suggest some ways in which i can help him? I brought it up with the mother and she flat out disagreed saying that hes just being a normal kid and that she would know since shes the mother. ",9.734526264113896,7.407373608247423,8.671988217967602,74.02384879725088,60.340206185567006,11.794796269023076,37.52822778595974,10.07000556051586,3.54670937653412,2020,70,378,31,21,627,216,485,0.124,0.8290000000000001,0.047,-0.9877,4,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,4,5,25,16,9,0,39,0,31,5,4,3,2,73,52,44,1,5,7,18,2,2,0,2,1,3,0,14,19,38,0,1,6,7,1,8,3,12,0,2,11,8,44,4,57,35,15,91,0,2,3,0,78,40,1,12,40,265,63,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281870774778649,0.13337747343030146,0.17367851399223475,0.19477479089735766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465124286498509,0.06691940957286946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902982399969062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183906303278604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661045019569097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101291646983351,0.08262805296322476,0.06903050636325524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803092082000558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587269471521832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17575412972252472,0.0,0.0,0.1256205217818591,0.0,0.09109879094174936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174748090697226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05372085456009019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849577885537008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730532110085505,0.0,0.0,0.08867079705227895,0.0,0.04404670328086455,0.13066102820096415,0.0,0.0,0.08707996603243545,0.0,0.0,0.07831156604912876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730330684819337,0.0,0.08748993424570457,0.06813812585573599,0.0,0.0,0.05349875469712382,0.16251298676940776,0.08051844880693176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938672150147029,0.0,0.0,0.05891727767466265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705411526422516,0.0,0.09124790750325124,0.08410080980065959,0.0,0.0,0.12191083255974115,0.0,0.0,0.26698132535909586,0.0,0.07650939440223832,0.055563848577092484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134422993019388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747224598900256,0.0,0.0,0.06386679408644731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226975889690981,0.19889531645178907,0.18017720521365266,0.0,0.0,0.06790830551043868,0.0,0.07926744694121035,0.0,0.0,0.08542605382343305,0.0,0.06700649307641918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330343606868616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748807012571397,0.0,0.1402031064771251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904628237791792,0.05441456202675552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827061366172373,0.0,0.04727278583686046,0.12723393954353052,0.06428910083872061,0.0,0.0,0.07429708563145562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058347981284044025,0.0,0.0,0.056934139747920776,0.0,0.19477479089735766,0.10322409955128392
mentalhealth,OodEnigma,2019/01/16,"I almost ended it all Over the past month my depression came back, it was subtle at first then it just hit me like a truck. I still have no idea for what the cause was all I know is how I feel. Everyday I have thought about ending it, thinking about how I would do it, the message I would leave, and when I would do it.

I have been down this road before, but unlike the first time it didn't take for me to try to kill myself to reach out for help.  I started reaching out to my friends last week letting them know what I am going through and how I feel. I kept one of my friends in a clossloop letting her know how I feel over the past week.

Today I called her letting her know that I probably would have tried to kill myself, and that I needed help, that I couldn't do this alone like I thought I could. I knew I was not strong enough to do this, and if I did not try and to get the help I need I would be dead before the end of this week. I also apologize to her because I knew I was probably interrupting something that she was doing, but all she could say was that she was proud of me for acknowledging my mental state and my wanting to get better. I am so glad to have a friend like her in my life, I wish I had more friends like her. Seeing how she might be the only thing at the moment that is keeping me grounded.

*Sorry if some of my sentences don't really make any sense, I just wanted to get this off my chest before I went to bed.",4.276189435336974,3.967532642622949,4.907513661202184,90.05802823315119,70.11475409836065,7.8269581056466295,25.79690346083789,6.937597516519254,0.8155537340619308,1116,27,261,8,18,359,138,305,0.1,0.716,0.184,0.9772,0,1,1,0,1,3,24.0,0,0,1,5,14,15,2,0,12,0,40,2,1,7,3,59,70,19,3,15,8,0,3,4,4,6,1,1,1,0,21,9,0,2,14,0,0,3,6,3,0,3,18,5,58,12,33,37,6,37,0,1,1,0,22,12,0,5,25,199,79,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925617481471204,0.09231733805889976,0.0,0.07128150508640453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060615092791481764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853958012928622,0.0,0.054336080431095585,0.0,0.2275428464446431,0.0,0.0,0.07883297123974561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101715559191928,0.10194709146140724,0.0,0.09156655520830374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233464372809984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677214407667791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368423829856008,0.09210064121131656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352085295402162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163696187266382,0.0,0.0,0.2754629930666357,0.0,0.13970862022182562,0.0,0.05065767203407008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792366333446819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006229575866007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922759226242125,0.19723011072435112,0.0,0.1959458232907421,0.07265720484118336,0.0,0.09438146273447444,0.0,0.2734407953647173,0.06295893189134881,0.17418811329462422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059498536515396314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982746528941142,0.09455851761521084,0.0,0.0,0.07114698386824883,0.0,0.0,0.13218546128684128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040041821741799,0.06779144826587978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701795498749121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220596062799125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710238596489764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088400585784102,0.0,0.0,0.071029331459898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862074516288504,0.0,0.0997797237600034,0.06309045764412262,0.0,0.07118360354883592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701868818981872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921756410456195,0.05711433146577731,0.0,0.14152701859040634,0.05197553785770455,0.0,0.08448988698217526,0.0,0.0,0.18155114959482985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514867458962236,0.0,0.2144969972918037,0.0,0.0,0.08262936001888556,0.0,0.0,0.1025012505095675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165959667605551,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bigmamaGE,2019/01/16,"How can I reduce my fearful and anxious thoughts after seeing a large spider? I have a phobia of large spiders. When I see one in real life I burst into tears and am jumpy for the next day or so, but internally I struggle with my thoughts for a lot longer. 

This morning I had a Huntsman crawl out of the birdseed box when I went to my aviary and started to pour the seed. My hubby rescued me, got rid of the spider, and finished feeding the birds. I went inside to calm down, and although I'm outwardly fine now, I dread the battles I have ahead of me mentally. 

After an encounter, I am frustratingly anxious in that particular location or situation for months or years afterwards. For example, I can't use my towel after a shower until I have shaken it and checked it all over, as I had a spider on it many years ago. There are places I dread to go as I encountered a spider there once. I can talk myself into feeling safe until I encounter a spider, and then that place is no longer safe. I had a Huntsman in my car once about 27 years ago, and still have to talk myself out of panic attacks when I'm in a car at times. I have to psych myself up to lower the sun visor in case there is one hiding behind it. To most people I seem fine, and I don't think many people realise the mental battles I have with this fear. I hide it until I have an encounter and cry. 

I do a lot of self talk to try and overcome my anxiety. When my brain tries to tell me there are spiders crawling on me I work hard to defeat these thoughts. I try exposing myself to spiders in a controlled way to increase my resilience. I keep thinking I'm getting better, but then I will have a surprise encounter and I'll be back at square one. It is so frustrating!

My aviary is one of my happy spots. I love my birds. I REALLY don't want my aviary to become a place where I am anxious and always have to compulsively check in all the nooks and crannies. Does anyone have any techniques they can suggest I try, in order to deal with the fearful anxious thoughts? (I already take anxiety medication.)

Thank you! ",5.3337259615384625,5.4458192668269225,6.131811538461541,80.73818846153847,67.87019230769229,8.290615384615384,31.303461538461537,7.839951260653429,2.1001406923076917,1629,61,318,17,25,537,194,416,0.205,0.698,0.097,-0.9922,3,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,1,5,16,23,5,7,26,0,31,5,1,3,2,47,56,34,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,11,21,1,4,8,0,2,6,4,13,0,4,10,5,58,10,60,44,6,60,0,1,3,1,10,24,0,7,28,233,69,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935401300242246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296507933153167,0.0,0.07009755341638331,0.0,0.0,0.057288642756232126,0.0,0.1288924851375968,0.3806858598947032,0.0,0.058905192790173276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958394339970329,0.0,0.06477824812041895,0.0,0.0,0.09304060953785137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450675597086233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404389250759268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448653547341483,0.0,0.0,0.09253780991703643,0.05433025315123173,0.08685161305455548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372227837159442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843929391545838,0.04259617415237457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044013885350234296,0.0,0.04787766779481107,0.0,0.0673774272924134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967904450958959,0.0754658579982858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487972088357693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950385607500545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432420571187576,0.07603327866650603,0.0,0.0,0.17081989151455182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486672103255713,0.16979578292045816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724256211291826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959418997213124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943370092487612,0.2283429965858895,0.0,0.0,0.09884189604965164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116808025927644,0.0,0.2640503831899452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588783735674422,0.053968707122580235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342627325249904,0.0766923512669733,0.08788461013497985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469351114585836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962816392502929,0.0,0.06727717216962838,0.0,0.0,0.08806986479759735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334082006449374,0.2031358193421518,0.07363275572545094,0.07756033179549696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795999415062377,0.0,0.2675205278088698,0.04912321145223912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22878392101453845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275955658034654,0.0,0.0,0.04968914982592178,0.066868772095838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618961117760605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133045752937781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627506500024239
mentalhealth,Jjellyyy,2019/01/16,"Does anybody else feel distant and disconnected from life? I don’t understand my thoughts and feelings and I cannot cope with them.

I have a lover, a best friend, a content and happy family, a job, school, and a life.

I cannot cope with this reality.

I always feel distant and disconnected from life.  I cannot accept the fact that I have connections with people and I feel like I am out of this world.

I do not feel like a real human being and I am confused.

I think that maybe I am not a human being and that if I kill myself then everything will be normal again.

I have feelings and thoughts and emotions but nothing feels real.

Can somebody please help me because I am lost and confused and truthfully, a tiny bit scared.

Is this real life?

Am I a real human being?

I know I am but, am I really?

Is this all that life is?
Or should I kill myself.

I cannot stay grounded.",1.1677272727272765,3.55461122727273,3.0613181818181836,88.78822727272731,84.45454545454547,5.565454545454546,21.3,6.961326702584282,0.6617009090909094,680,22,137,9,20,227,82,176,0.131,0.727,0.142,-0.4682,1,0,0,0,0,2,23.0,0,0,1,2,1,14,2,3,10,0,26,6,0,0,3,47,39,18,2,3,6,0,7,2,2,2,5,0,0,3,8,17,0,0,13,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,3,7,27,8,7,30,3,6,0,1,0,1,7,3,0,4,4,101,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407877858746036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892311166334777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186542893403985,0.0,0.1234372255739272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894356601415033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445093903564246,0.1271824217332905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016151439186163,0.0,0.10658721289877453,0.0,0.4001819020793776,0.1615467009675805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735340532304249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035933582784357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578479711311867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219913830385232,0.0,0.2501783867547695,0.0,0.062137330073709376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3993042430117227,0.11047527432768844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342333290387784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358855618856173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077927146306064,0.10848850305358093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838473579248162,0.0,0.0,0.12411094380004005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5147689287430762,0.07243205790474913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319735756060152,0.1144273797722531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205117865342528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244721028755761,0.0,0.17952127625504896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770420347202667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jiera12,2019/01/16,"Not sure what to do at this point So I’ve been having issues for about 4 months now. It started when I moved away for college and I thought I was seriously depressed. I had noticed some of these changes over the summer but when I arrived at school my ability to concentrate was terrible and I was starting to feel very foggy and out of it all day long. I was also experiencing physical changes like fatigue and a very large decrease in my sex drive. I went to go see a therapist and psychiatrist, started regularly going to therapy and started taking Wellbutrin. For the next two months I noticed basically no changes and the medication was only making me dizzy and more stressed out. I switched to Prozac and took that for the next two months. The results have been very similar. I notice my mood stabilizing but I really just think I am settling for a lower quality of life with basically no pleasure and emotion. Not sure what I should tell my psychiatrist or what I should do at this point. I’ve never went through anything like this and I’m not really sure why I am.",4.777794117647058,6.637409377450986,5.636421568627451,77.36139705882354,70.42156862745098,8.825490196078432,32.84803921568627,9.354420925462401,3.1651333333333334,859,41,156,19,16,281,115,204,0.146,0.785,0.069,-0.9063,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,12,0,1,8,0,16,5,0,2,5,34,32,18,0,2,7,0,1,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,10,14,0,0,3,0,0,7,6,5,0,2,12,3,21,6,25,18,3,33,0,2,1,1,1,10,0,2,18,111,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433817433066378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867864983757219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908531552473028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346954329362795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680144677918564,0.0,0.09083453643450967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863090830841486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05332491470044446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987332674909695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007525575179854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449115120519116,0.10304711893754176,0.0,0.0,0.0933308291041208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039691346264709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106242186065324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525370383793599,0.11208974949446003,0.0,0.0,0.08133903803216001,0.0,0.224320734572496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602086301552368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020884204178258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939195015302755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512371761417594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673349204028493,0.08403980993378238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29858707438579224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080672426296853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29819094829247045,0.0,0.07929453511277465,0.0,0.09217871079624766,0.0,0.120605347086909,0.12244987495565912,0.0,0.06757599237138961,0.0,0.0837252969890878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717251121484018,0.0,0.0,0.20604271283135708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26105236164618145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19552924315098688,0.0951633346894214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Krabious,2019/01/16,"Somethings deeply flawed with me and I don't know how to figure it out or what to do. Sorry, I kinda started this as a vent of sorts and it became a book so I heavily trimmed it and am trying to keep it short. Also mild throwaway because I've learned keeping crap like this attached to a main account name comes back to bite.

​

I was abused as a child. I wasn't hit, had plenty of fun little things when I was in my early teens but there was one thing I wasn't allowed after 11 and that was real life socialization. I was ""home-schooled"" after that point and have had to learn a lot of things on my own and I mean a lot. I wasn't taught anything by my parent. We barely spoke and when we did, we usually fought. Thankfully my parent was ignorant of all the things the internet could be used for. CPS was called a number of times by the dad of a friend I used to have and by me but it was Arizona so they didn't care because it wasn't blatantly visible. A lot of things I thought were normal, weren't and talking about my past has had some very bad reactions.

​

My problem is friends. I've never been good at making them but I think I can socialize somewhat well considering. When I was 11 I was forced to give up my only real friend who I had known for over 3 years and was extremely close with which began this cycle. I talk to someone a few times and get to know them, they invite me to hang out with their other friends. In this group of other friends things seem to be going good for a few months. Someone, usually the most social one starts to dislike me. Usually a few weeks go by like this and suddenly everyone wants me to leave the group. Sometimes they say it's because of things I said that I never said and other times its been for things I've done that I didn't do. I try not to make a big deal out of this and leave peacefully but there's usually more to it and other times these aren't the expressed issues but I'm told it's personality clash and little things that add up. This is every group since I was a kid and I'm 26. Granted most of these are online but in real life it hasn't been any different. If anything it's been worse as I've actually been attacked. I was able to run away without really being  hurt thanks to a knife I had tucked away but it was extremely scary that it got to that point. I don't know why people don't like me and I don't know why some of these people are willing to hurt me, and lie about me because of it. If it was just some one off thing, it wouldn't keep happening and at least someone would stand up for me. If it isn't me that's the problem then why is everyone ok with me leaving? I'm to the point where I can't stand this anymore. I'm tired of trying to make friends with people. I'm used to being alone, I just don't want to be but maybe this is just what's best. If I'm alone, I don't have to worry about it.",1.97794660931174,3.592425699013159,3.293026315789472,92.27849190283405,77.3717105263158,6.321659919028339,22.21862348178138,7.0901768495059905,0.5086873987854248,2267,64,508,25,52,738,246,608,0.106,0.773,0.121,0.9293,4,2,1,0,1,0,52.0,3,0,6,1,18,27,3,0,23,1,68,4,1,8,4,103,113,44,0,12,18,3,0,3,6,3,3,4,0,3,57,34,0,4,12,1,1,5,22,9,1,3,44,4,57,18,78,59,18,58,0,2,0,0,41,25,1,17,29,356,114,4,0.05720156150843678,0.06777449671894002,0.0558204726077866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184871332688016,0.0,0.04574406807194193,0.0,0.12395573599166256,0.1390123165113194,0.038899023350861726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672857849827821,0.0,0.0,0.09414402246507003,0.0,0.0,0.0650750341013865,0.10748549999487364,0.04398446995831429,0.0477609145487243,0.13947816387937728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002950974720723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584091898180947,0.0,0.05832080424208282,0.0,0.0,0.049274080267118464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045670792331064525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058972298203061164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059763457044559994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585370573810949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04819478265397616,0.10931708668075317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651627071608591,0.0,0.029885454980772167,0.054872950061653714,0.06501793123149376,0.09595591176714588,0.04574931420038681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058315193085272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737783012320812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122470909331233,0.0,0.0,0.05970356878256437,0.0,0.1525301283650714,0.0,0.0,0.12574592901986842,0.0,0.0,0.181704583151908,0.0,0.0,0.08080630908911365,0.08383738077163759,0.11466198404170964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458921661418277,0.0,0.0,0.11454745945285827,0.0,0.057466656947654876,0.062309269695062924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04565774066130469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823474119943325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056045385236791145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628377539849286,0.04350436512824694,0.0,0.0,0.12703112941341682,0.0,0.05460536295140033,0.1189690812050142,0.04994619714208542,0.0,0.0,0.162221894412311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109468338247901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19532370003640195,0.03664478503199818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882356804061033,0.045488977614074735,0.0,0.057891034092158525,0.0,0.05207415325687658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04731772278440545,0.0,0.0,0.17492936518605165,0.14540009232004578,0.04403655666464163,0.05657380697198445,0.06403246494787762,0.08097511930098576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195289676768377,0.0,0.10532702512961573,0.0,0.0,0.3800217574208214,0.03665245091678458,0.0,0.045411650361275306,0.1334187620733673,0.06574478026431964,0.0,0.054658543340376585,0.0,0.1165083163653512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482113498024539,0.2519977545032167,0.047197278876604715,0.06747792603806216,0.0,0.045883642297066866,0.0,0.051431073427455065,0.0,0.1548465363828664,0.0,0.0,0.05514026405165045,0.0,0.0,0.05809096234168895,0.058293278043213326,0.040634348102616916,0.0,0.1390123165113194,0.03683593018457114
mentalhealth,Saceman32,2019/01/16,"Thinking about sickness Hello all, I've just been notified that a relative has cancer, and i have been thinking a lot lately about what if it were to happen to me or my parents and it just gets deeper. someone help please ",3.3326744186046504,5.649998488372098,4.24436046511628,83.77956395348839,75.74418604651162,6.16046511627907,27.02906976744186,7.1686216300943375,1.5763534883720935,177,7,31,2,4,57,34,43,0.097,0.7929999999999999,0.11,-0.1027,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,0,1,10,9,4,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,4,6,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813745744053542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069887227563546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326912114594169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916068574672001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951394422478973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3854754268993673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810728136554417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941439782888228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4448868314182965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ZealousidealSalary2,2019/01/16,"Self medicating Lithium ""fixes"" me, but I'm not sure what. What kind of disorders should I be reading into? TL;DR What kinds of disorders should I be reading into?

I realized ""something is wrong"" with me after I quit drinking and my problems didn't go away. I drank from 20-25, was a proper binge-drinking alcoholic for the last few years. Despite a year of sobriety, I'm struggling with things other recovered alcoholics got a grip on faster and easier than I did.

Lithium ""fixes"" a lot of things. Irritability. Low energy. Rumination. Minor tics. Depressed mood. Anxiety blocking productivity. Work inertia. Negative thought loops. Getting stuck on decisions and general difficulties ""adulting"". Conscientiousness. Short-term memory. Task memory. Non verbal memory. Mumbling. Discipline and peeling away from short-term rewards. Major addictive impulses (I'm easily addicted to anything, even Weed). General social ease. General ability to stick to and finish shit. Actually feeling like I'm content to exist rather than constant low-key existential suffering.

It's a night and day difference, taking Lithium and pumping myself full of OTC stimulants. \~500mg of caffeine through the day, \~250 mg of DMAE (choline supplement), partial nicotine patch (I don't smoke). It's the difference between actually moving forwards in life, and being like everyone else in my family. Except none of them are diagnosed with anything, so I have no clue what's wrong. My brother as a kid had major social, rumination, and anger issues, but when they screened for Autism that was ruled out. My father was a bully and a slug. I have an uncle who might be bipolar, or it might be some kind of personality/PTSD/addiction clusterfuck. All I know is addiction, gambling, depression, anxiety, alcoholism, smoking, criminal behavior, and mood issues are present at least three generations back up the family branch with aforementioned father and uncle, and including cousins down. So it might be genetic.

I spent a year trialing all kinds of supplements, nootropics, vitamins, you name it. Only things that really did anything were Lithium, stimulant nootropics, B-vitamins, choline.",6.025609511531299,9.521199122905033,6.6458659217877125,63.76474788712221,73.13407821229049,10.710901017046268,36.55378885546483,10.389873798559362,5.523720870935396,1738,98,229,63,39,566,224,358,0.196,0.7340000000000001,0.071,-0.9947,0,0,7,0,0,0,91.0,0,1,2,3,6,20,2,1,14,0,26,14,1,2,3,50,40,20,0,4,6,4,2,2,0,5,11,0,0,3,16,20,5,2,5,3,2,3,6,10,0,1,13,3,21,8,41,16,10,31,0,4,1,0,14,15,1,6,17,152,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.16318457484509635,0.3645933814402651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680642347310969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127924391819718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064142181504922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571105975930894,0.06429170781450178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035380143973423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784437253053376,0.0,0.14402808555174065,0.08486341795588205,0.0,0.17471142527964365,0.19165092868838046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638139229243689,0.0,0.0,0.0698462724321922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05522428537534818,0.0,0.0,0.07989390576574433,0.0,0.0,0.15764204328569992,0.0,0.042276240282528764,0.0597317242237557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04368330325108431,0.0,0.047518065369438506,0.0,0.06687136491749669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745363490017942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482720135311397,0.0459504259973484,0.06815413481460456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059056930985519125,0.08169623496068197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108309309251334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422929903348404,0.0,0.2660942148064862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886527450547897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784632715122105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358994286236583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000444729973083,0.0977367995961247,0.0,0.0,0.08893060395584376,0.16726727817985654,0.0,0.05356335575795915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722452119554144,0.0,0.08582550307810342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046179625637026,0.0,0.0643678424890219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874083844364574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880239003290591,0.0,0.06286507607842706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666423249915818,0.0,0.0,0.06637780469262063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086981309341045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828310339580997,0.0,0.16152825277282915
mentalhealth,gay-commie,2019/01/16,Just took about 15-25 tablets of No Doz. Am i good? Don’t really wanna die but i’ve already od ‘d before and i don’t wanna go back and get charcoal. am i good to jog it off,-3.4524041811846686,-2.0654498292682923,0.5089198606271808,101.84609756097565,108.26829268292684,3.3184668989547035,13.174216027874564,5.288315135182226,-1.2661735191637629,131,3,35,1,7,48,32,41,0.105,0.75,0.145,0.384,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,7,3,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,6,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,20,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3748846635883999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26122036284039873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28907299401740977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35257120698773725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17748740410254787,0.0,0.19306823071324106,0.5698747333377158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176305421285981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37743658313290296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SunFlownder,2019/01/16,"Loosing and Gaining Emotions???? Most people talk about their journey loosing emotions but I want to talk about the patterns in which we loose and gain out emotions back after a traumatic experience. I remember when I was about 8 that I fell off of a trampoline by getting caught in the net and smacking on the ground. I should have been scared or sad that I just fell but other than the physical pain I felt nothing. My parents rushed over expecting me to cry but I didn’t really feel anything. Then later when I was in middle school I was sleeping over a friends house and something really funny happened and I knew it should of been funny but I didn’t feel like laughing. My friend was almost in tears crying of laughter and I didn’t feel happy. I pretended to laugh and thought not finding dumb things funny was all part of growing up. After a while and everything in my life settled down I am starting to get my emotions back. I don’t ever cry, like once every year or two when something extreme happens usually from my past, or even get angry. I do feel happy though. I usually feel happy when I should be feeling mad or sad. It’s not just a smile but I get the actual feeling of happiness. I recognize the emotion I should be feeling but I only feel happy instead. It’s like in Inside Out, Joy knows who should be pressing the emotions button but she’s the only one there to press the button. I  seen as a very happy person, which I am, but I do miss experiencing a healthy range of emotions and being able to emote them. It is getting better though not that I am starting my twenties instead of happiness when I get mad or sad I just feel generic feeling number 1. It’s like almost the feeling of nothing but with a flutter in my chest. Again back to the move reference like if all those emotion characters are running around waving their arms not sure who should press the button and whoever decides to barely tap the button. In express cases of sadness or anger I still either shut down if it’s really bad or just feel happiness but I think it’s slowly getting better. Anyone else feel similar or have questions? I’ll answer pretty much anything relating to the topic and don’t worry about being insensitive this is the internet lol. ",4.118680555555557,6.137693136574075,4.9872222222222256,80.68,72.49537037037038,7.207407407407408,29.592592592592588,7.984000788550335,2.2160759259259257,1793,76,312,26,36,582,204,432,0.153,0.589,0.258,0.9956,1,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,3,4,26,33,4,1,23,1,33,5,3,0,4,85,67,41,0,10,29,1,18,5,2,6,2,1,0,1,18,16,0,0,25,1,0,8,9,12,0,2,15,21,44,21,47,41,6,51,0,5,1,0,15,21,1,14,27,231,62,1,0.05445925528765851,0.0,0.05314437731873512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090661550949244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0380791775378864,0.05579994273924891,0.08963065374493512,0.048480283238624376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562741724099025,0.04547120340058182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632957143499056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17946280417161414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045493719733830984,0.5513339896492401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03596982450002935,0.049261514258892886,0.04588427138827302,0.0,0.0489444670994952,0.05327160158311639,0.0,0.0,0.3855073010736375,0.038905702858976966,0.052289425427829515,0.0,0.049774772720323934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415017108644256,0.0,0.1991689921545155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631627919284776,0.4637831193555978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283866876237973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029929382473530775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03846618256119127,0.1330302064515563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05788156979095825,0.040033818798653635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045102484454914,0.0,0.0,0.05799732952353751,0.036903000799522113,0.0828374353485881,0.0579484872890585,0.0,0.06047055817859536,0.05897406646084821,0.051987521365250734,0.03775519055673826,0.04755172112578372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540464108323569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100682950825555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466398033861092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061691720043567766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452321503684487,0.05511567379198914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054498585110526084,0.0,0.0,0.08385079071785281,0.0,0.0,0.07709308238570674,0.0,0.04349123162061199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132720360980527,0.0,0.0,0.08754457304058748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036180309342066994,0.03489529181998189,0.1070118836307654,0.04323456554055472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05319877917675248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995835150744315,0.04493458904692183,0.032121479759311844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530601725977693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03506997488843112
mentalhealth,Azlan-Senpai,2019/01/16,"Recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I've never been diagnosed with any mental health issues prior to this incident.  


I'm a 26 years old male, teacher. Growing up, I've had few episodes of depression where I've self-harmed, I've had few other self-destructive behaviours. However, recently, I've realised that it had gotten worst. I started having dreams of jumping off from my window (I live on level 12 in an apartment complex, alone). Moreover, on last Saturday, when I was walking through my corridor, I felt so drawn towards the ledge. And I keep contemplating about suicide.  


I know what the trigger is -- it was Facebook and all the nasty comments against LGBTQ. Being raised in Malaysia and raised in a Muslim household, it has been extremely hard for me, especially since I'm in a committed relationship. I have been feeling strongly isolated and detached from everyone and everything. I've been feeling worthless and guilty and ashamed of myself. I couldn't focus on anything work or leisure. I tried to distract myself from the thoughts by going hiking with my colleagues but as soon as I got back, the thoughts of killing myself came back stronger and I felt worst. So I decided to go to the hospital. After being admitted for 1 night, I was discharged as the doctor believed that I pose no risk of self-harm at the moment.   


I was given additional day off from work. However, despite all these, I still feel extremely down. In my lessons today, I keep feeling panicky and my chest started to hurt. I tried the breathing exercise but it felt like it didnt help. ",6.343964368964367,8.198208038461539,6.3487012987012985,73.8025757575758,66.5174825174825,9.503563103563105,38.094572094572094,9.842372674337009,4.206195670995671,1273,70,204,29,21,403,172,286,0.175,0.7609999999999999,0.064,-0.9869,2,1,0,0,0,2,43.0,0,0,0,4,9,11,1,3,13,0,19,7,2,1,4,39,42,18,2,1,3,0,8,1,0,0,5,0,1,2,11,14,0,2,14,2,0,6,4,9,0,0,21,8,27,2,41,18,6,43,0,3,0,0,6,17,0,1,21,139,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093564945814915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940572992937515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960894924648638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795736057995013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155669791096353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355061980219268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753052123625669,0.0,0.10057145601711356,0.2370325891291768,0.0,0.0,0.13382537767814887,0.11951622192015852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157610543769199,0.10494286956641724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361641077908158,0.0,0.336344596901263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272303115086587,0.0,0.09338943178812656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460051505494213,0.0,0.0,0.12411811991750793,0.0,0.0,0.07826662219687486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500174956636084,0.0,0.0,0.1218746654847096,0.0,0.2075761829083124,0.12918565480047778,0.0,0.06417222348622831,0.09518088844455368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704657719803111,0.0,0.10310761558419793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767391784004165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005809692025722,0.0,0.0,0.10957814831211228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225275800435518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195665339695233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23058713276990525,0.12536432096110314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3654411039385714,0.0,0.0,0.09659107074235336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652969123727516,0.0,0.09325047176357547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772441266840776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540029715963327,0.0,0.0,0.11068169392314864,0.0,0.0,0.1585545875258816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17001588841072718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751942766673235
mentalhealth,SleepyGhostss,2019/01/16,"I'm not doing so good. Preface I have Soft Bipolar, PTSD (emotional/ sexual/ physical), severe anxiety and insomnia.

I apologize for my grammar or shitty text, I am on an edge of an anxiety attack or manic.

​

Currently I am going through divorce, it's still fresh, very fresh but this type of depression I haven't felt for a very long time. I am relapsing in the case of not eating and self harmed (a week ago) for the first time in 5 years, I have support but I don't feel understood or I feel like I am crazy for this hurt I feel. To be clear I am not suicidal.

I feel stupid for hurting this much when my spouse has wronged me and used everything I confided in him with traumas or mental health being used against me. I feel stupid I still love him.

Summary of the divorce after hardship after hardship we were finally very good, to the point I visited my parents and I was beaming to just the night before getting a text asking if I was happy and about divorce. A lot of mind fucking from his part and just why do I still care? He fed me lies but I never realized them into now, I still feel in shock.

This deep depression comes and goes, but when it comes it's for weeks. When it goes it is only for a few days, or just a face I am forcing.

I don't know because of the trauma from my last relationship was basically replaying verbally/emotionally to where my mental health kept declining, or me just I still want us to be together (subconsciously and fighting with it)

I am to the point I would have rather been physically beaten than mentally and emotionally.

I am going to therapy for EMDR, we have not started yet but the breathing technique isn't helping and I took one of my anxiety medicine but don't want to take another just in case..",3.880801932367152,5.505332017391306,5.195072463768118,80.57512077294689,72.30434782608697,8.937198067632849,30.169082125603857,9.444778638647367,2.8372705314009656,1386,60,267,33,27,462,175,345,0.183,0.6809999999999999,0.136,-0.9523,2,0,0,0,5,0,41.0,3,0,1,2,19,22,6,0,16,0,30,10,2,2,2,60,59,27,1,5,23,2,8,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,10,17,2,1,10,0,0,6,10,15,0,2,10,8,46,7,40,45,4,44,0,4,0,2,21,11,1,8,28,194,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771231898122238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426805611827513,0.10571855145857792,0.0,0.09123056238021754,0.19967189491871667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133635551488795,0.0989788317174896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053036413662775096,0.0,0.07403341349061232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870567873559948,0.0,0.0,0.14989130520299745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056109940966375685,0.0,0.14987165650243275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902611227477793,0.0,0.2936010592191831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819297006777634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26394894318974943,0.062155186058796885,0.08353682693138703,0.09530787956677572,0.0,0.07400497581568836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043316333248447,0.04545564147894063,0.0,0.09889197851137536,0.1459485065855118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926166472912886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849609120786634,0.0,0.0,0.05831648850494769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862776976205344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04781474692823776,0.07091931440333904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04250542530182716,0.0,0.0,0.07699519648380068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396710766709806,0.07852388917795655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26303663622236745,0.0,0.08784854691291631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395744770616149,0.0,0.06710232058586718,0.0,0.0,0.0816467179375975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058955698323619514,0.06616994204407542,0.0,0.0,0.09660688584122724,0.09421611239885616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449251042432564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170222009550613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340900088761796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090763432903586,0.09828898213472388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615813945952673,0.0,0.34740480118091993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516750607228593,0.09873033152294357,0.0,0.0,0.06541566564557767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949587381886373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146466599342316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966638849144074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465427624805616,0.1502858605535638,0.0,0.2153605413178578,0.10263361945474976,0.0,0.1395776236530657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850695984165618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180465916518237,0.0951244676147186,0.10571855145857792,0.056027282739728616
mentalhealth,zectomasko,2019/01/16,"My parents are making me suicidal So lately my parents have been screaming at so much that I feel like shit every time I’m around them. they scream because I sleep too long or I don’t clean my room and I get that but we’re always fighting or I’m getting yelled at,and it’s really been a toll on my mental health. I try to tell them they’re making me feel miserable and close to suicidal but they don’t listen. I know if I told them how I actually felt they’d make it even worse by making my life even harder. I know I won’t commit suicide but I’ve just been thinking it about it often. Could someone give me a ways to get rid of my anger and pain (other then suicide of course)",2.0224252873563238,3.4857668689655203,3.6080172413793123,90.71662356321842,76.86206896551724,6.21264367816092,21.738505747126442,6.816661863887847,0.4037471264367816,536,14,118,5,12,178,89,145,0.3,0.66,0.039,-0.9933,2,0,0,0,2,3,8.0,0,0,6,0,10,8,3,1,2,0,10,5,2,5,1,26,28,13,4,2,7,2,3,1,0,1,3,4,2,0,7,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,5,7,25,1,10,20,1,10,0,1,0,0,13,5,1,4,5,72,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.12759013108085546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879190933725257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639247659549595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970210740299408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439077470788384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727142119057701,0.0,0.11015991712288706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221914005962615,0.09340562403804324,0.1255375447239914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492960415436312,0.1254243571234652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897785937773774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371017314076745,0.0,0.1474882179563061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235041452696284,0.06387633964386928,0.0,0.0,0.11570690768583568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34909833098356696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176214090956348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611402834870973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391239386399162,0.0,0.2903579582188286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375982336291103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342098320041631,0.0,0.0,0.13084134143240495,0.0,0.11078143896913367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.572063626962181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427856886176375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377734545111726,0.0,0.0,0.07623957907520391,0.0,0.0,0.12493428277628835,0.0,0.08876857457844431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378081740073312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324227902772787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tlzq,2019/01/16,"This ""high functioning depression"" situation is really tiring me out I do believe I have high functioning depression because despite my brain acting up on the daily with ridiculously low moods and suicidal thoughts from morning to night, I am still able to do what I gotta do like minimal self-care and I go to work and only missed one day in 7 months, and I have some paperwork to do right now and I'm doing everything and on time and I'm always on time, sometimes too early with everything like appointments and paying bills but I really just want to collapse and give up and play and watch Netflix all day or just sit at a park and cry but naaaaah I can't fully give up because I feel responsible and I must stay accountable and I'm really tired of it honestly. It's like I'm constantly on the edge of a burnout despite not doing a whole lot but still.

Did any of this make sense? Probably not lol. ",5.765515832482122,6.220501292134834,6.5647293156281945,76.8183197139939,66.97752808988764,10.967109295199185,32.47395301327886,10.832165505486646,3.56430786516854,722,29,139,20,11,239,109,178,0.151,0.748,0.101,-0.8545,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,6,11,1,0,5,1,13,3,1,1,2,33,26,18,1,2,8,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,17,0,0,2,2,3,2,3,5,0,1,2,2,12,5,21,22,4,29,0,4,1,0,2,14,0,3,14,87,17,3,0.13584721372387087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130357643116556,0.0,0.0,0.0923807637316852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562240119564056,0.0,0.0,0.15305329020768113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165041788683006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468025774286761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922178538194414,0.17522042898461185,0.0,0.2340100122429955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24418143243221585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868843301085463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606340518723535,0.0772051021595446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870600796577157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19910426015300992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549244316570037,0.0,0.0,0.0906790700315862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843194993637564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748340753721804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205358777281952,0.1033179275469011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646627282810426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610816110346708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601277826362047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171827109043592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269796000076488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435636797716885,0.0,0.0,0.14479505478271618,0.216975520721766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859480291891938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784751341573044,0.1584272055534863,0.3122727764863087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012620633428134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166856273901558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889838952348473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Paul-The-Lesser,2019/01/17,"Where do I go from here? For the past 4 years I’ve been crazy. Had a trip to a mental institution, did a whole lot of drugs, fucked up a lot of my life. Now, in a surprise twist, im clean. I’ve been getting better, and I don’t take meds anymore. I feel fine, but I don’t know what to do now. My identity was tied to my  insanity. I liked being fucked up in a strange way, and now I’m trying to find a way to be normal. Any thoughts? ",-0.2601832760595641,1.1545161546391751,2.3597250859106538,97.34091638029786,83.32989690721652,5.5482245131729675,19.02520045819015,6.42735559955562,-0.3039864833906072,325,8,86,3,9,113,62,97,0.188,0.7040000000000001,0.108,-0.8924,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,2,0,8,0,11,4,0,0,0,10,20,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,6,1,8,4,13,12,3,14,0,0,0,2,0,5,2,2,6,52,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958485073664553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20356424095179312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153710597259928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380381601779942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378637588450383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876052816489388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795218767231245,0.10724065576302988,0.0,0.11665483403393072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217176303745784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280634589885101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498225946504778,0.10028039500809308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490119542054738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22799924057238816,0.0,0.20685530215398346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20111267735934008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19594531637059004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543310940679821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629546937517887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935907681407256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32585403049804096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22916712133768435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218166868050568
mentalhealth,zintentions,2019/01/17,"Just reaching out a little. I’ll be fine My life is perfect. Straighten myself out at age 25, and now at age 30, married, 2 children,  4 cats, renting a 5 bedroom home with my sister and her family. Got a decent job with a good wage and a long commute. ; I could go on and on about the details and scheduling and what not. But the root I’m looking at is: since my son was born in September, it feels like my brain is melting. Having a hard time remembering things, or responding when talked to. It’s kinda foggy but not really grey, I still see my children and swell with emotion. And when my wife says I don’t care, my heart aches that she thinks that about me. 
I tried making time to play video games again, maybe I was missing my downtime. I try to play guitar to release this tension. My wife and I saw a marriage counselor back in July to no avail.  Every once in a while I miss my old friends, but when we get together they are always impressed with the things I’ve done and don’t have enough information to talk about what’s real in the real life moments. That’s my fault. I’m struggling and I don’t know why or how or what to do. As a man, I just want to put my head to the ground and put one foot in front of the other. I’ll be fine. Buts it’s not fine, and I recognize that. I feel dumber. Idk.",1.9204331841432207,3.465749371323533,3.3383503836317168,92.19181585677751,77.34558823529412,6.0539641943734015,22.855498721227626,6.7026698264267655,0.4681305626598462,1007,30,225,9,23,330,158,272,0.104,0.777,0.119,0.5093,3,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,1,1,13,16,0,2,15,0,16,6,4,3,1,47,33,26,0,2,12,4,3,1,1,0,2,1,3,3,14,20,0,0,6,5,2,4,7,5,0,1,5,8,30,11,30,25,1,35,0,2,4,0,19,14,0,4,18,142,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604823093272687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072419896403814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569198671893886,0.0,0.0,0.14219653187308431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135354461876848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427237956303971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688229874463533,0.0,0.14410733173482246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175074835958357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147765822080298,0.0,0.1410380366778987,0.09963569437116793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775233592413692,0.0,0.07286607424128395,0.0,0.0792626615050167,0.11697882122278952,0.11154499495349762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493559175311512,0.0,0.1431340127712937,0.0,0.0,0.16526979918047466,0.0,0.0,0.13989739263636394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840009094329273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664775561720606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19702020668715825,0.06813683351350802,0.13978319298152875,0.0,0.12342445339397765,0.1171176735438281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930957181903652,0.0,0.1401139682912743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634780441356016,0.14852846174497938,0.09450686760159033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804069551861346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174893659159992,0.08934652754710982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579896239318114,0.0,0.0,0.11091024788211652,0.0,0.0,0.11113763484131406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153690550655922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137902012165098,0.0,0.0,0.1458018362999941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22419757727918144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18531217682544596,0.0893652183426935,0.0,0.0,0.1626493795840313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18937871584391566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226161474705221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584783270366767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Congruant,2019/01/17,"Organized Stalking Is Organized discrimination Gang stalking harassment psycological harassment.
Do their Victims know they are being targeted for psychological breakdown?


Victims fall into the Mental health systems when other avenues are closed off to them.
In a society of privaledge and false sense of entitlement.

Stalkers and harassers prey on vulnerable and poor.
keeping and organizing efforts to keep them their.

Whats wrong with this society is apparently Your racial bias.

Discriminstion hides in shades of grey. Organized Stalking us organized murder.
",9.179642857142856,13.646065297619044,8.336000000000002,50.25900000000002,68.64285714285714,11.455238095238096,44.11428571428571,10.577609850970193,7.170194285714286,471,30,49,17,10,147,65,84,0.305,0.6829999999999999,0.012,-0.9819,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,1,5,1,1,7,6,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,0,10,9,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,7,0,12,8,0,9,0,0,1,0,7,6,0,0,1,35,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700730160473851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6189132104122935,0.0,0.0,0.1913371577639039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508588569833276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4187881992807509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3806533849174464,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hufflepuff_Forensics,2019/01/17,"I stink- I know that I have been struggling with severe depression since I was 15. I’m now 24. It never fails during a depressive cycle I will not shower for upwards of a week. I know I stink and I know I need to shower but I don’t have the willpower to drag my smelly ass into the shower. 

It’s worse now that I live on my own and work from home. I almost have no excuse to leave the house. 

I’ve become the hermit loner I said I never would but the cat and parakeet as my sole company kind of prove that ",-0.25576570218771977,1.8702675871559684,2.078165137614679,95.09709244883557,88.7247706422018,4.454763585038815,14.806633733239238,5.873414542411696,-0.7475877205363441,393,7,88,3,13,133,70,109,0.258,0.701,0.04,-0.9695,4,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,7,0,1,7,0,8,1,1,0,3,17,14,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,3,17,1,11,9,1,7,0,3,0,1,2,2,1,1,5,60,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20955006189653635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23111828738885806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604816714718981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20991125248879075,0.0,0.0,0.2414653183142312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179187432153428,0.34502200674783023,0.0,0.0,0.22158289215229526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847860569948838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516837715699486,0.3227982828633633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19906025915106906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23641145626906215,0.0,0.1731073209506827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21877066824576424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786087592791746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523484248369879,0.0,0.21326033033059685,0.14865683986254105,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lalunaxvii,2019/01/17,"What's happened to me Okay, so basically I work away from home currently and it can be very difficult. I have been prescribed citalopram 20mg but I'll be honest I've be wary to take it. Recently though when traveling for work I've had this thought that people near me are going to kill me. Whether it be stabbing me or what, it's not all the time but occasionally. I don't know what's happening to me",1.3401472556894234,3.6602417831325336,3.2187148594377533,88.41179384203484,82.97590361445782,7.062382864792503,24.88487282463186,8.167268648758528,1.6118953145916999,320,13,69,7,9,107,58,83,0.103,0.826,0.07200000000000001,-0.5494,1,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,1,0,1,1,10,0,0,0,1,9,16,8,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,0,8,2,8,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,46,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25455062733859674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539775614759556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.479170606542323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717680552983733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997474052749943,0.0,0.14889778211390733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878309431261405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26751381507617705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370802222899945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26619045926764817,0.21509066969023652,0.15798330745139758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235482357580776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944851422191342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sweet_Tooth_Truth,2019/01/17,"I recently started making increasingly reckless decisions and I feel out of contol Within the last 7 days: was the first time I have ever drove home drunk. I ended up doing a bunch of stupid shit like trying to drive without being able to look through the windshield, and I inevitably got lost ending up in another city. I got distressed when I realized what happened and sped 85+ all the way home since I didn't want to stay on the road intoxicated. I've been dolling up for a guy I'm crushing on despite moving toward engagement with my boyfriend, and today I failed an open book online exam so that I could watch TV with my friend sooner. I've been lying to everyone in my office that I don't eat carbs or sugar, despite eating them under my desk. I've been monopolizing all my conversations with friends, have been driving people away, and I've been eating out of control when I get home and I've been crying frequently and feel ashamed after every one of these things. 

I normally never speed past 73-74 on a 70, NEVER drive drunk, study hard to get As on every exam, find honesty as my #1 value, and am devoted to my partner completely and without question. I feel absolutely and suddenly out of control and I have no idea what's wrong with me. I feel like everywhere I turn is a lie and that I'm driving away everyone I love around me. I have no idea what to do and am just lost",6.075638686131388,6.119631481751827,6.807728102189782,76.75604470802921,66.29927007299271,9.477737226277373,32.08850364963504,9.188382445141503,2.7178985401459856,1102,41,208,18,16,365,156,274,0.18,0.736,0.083,-0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,6,6,15,2,2,10,0,20,9,1,3,5,47,40,19,0,3,4,0,5,2,3,0,1,0,3,2,8,22,6,2,10,4,1,7,8,8,0,2,13,8,29,7,41,25,4,49,0,3,2,1,8,20,1,2,22,136,37,5,0.10364435393292357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868014201636507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226544887937642,0.0,0.0,0.19475456456696266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866913318231752,0.0,0.2324919119881406,0.08275158299760307,0.0,0.11384845603139016,0.06684203400326587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181621467441179,0.0,0.0,0.1835962686209918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375225188357464,0.17464967666563755,0.1980732435282377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20962279805151293,0.07404354715880172,0.0,0.0,0.09472906181890406,0.08815983450860203,0.0,0.0,0.16015074149528116,0.0,0.10829979433399743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657877158641573,0.0,0.0,0.10262420533570707,0.091652359892149,0.0,0.09284498329808892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31189121291640753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340037199123017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448398168297856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127079210618273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703515380609407,0.0,0.2262801113394135,0.0,0.09354307597020953,0.0,0.06918341106182448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101575457453382,0.0,0.0,0.15987383044963122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154946107427994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023209656191166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894026343207343,0.07185394497589352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610539652957898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233629576073752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638943990275904,0.08573568060451542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336000716828538,0.11047109097240064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688567033655645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060435856264103326,0.0,0.09824272871219863,0.0,0.0,0.07036771292638261,0.1127352948535719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06113212528225333,0.08226806390437938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998189172678864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133188306623928,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Skapnslap,2019/01/17,"Friend with an alternate personality of sorts, how do I support him without causing him trouble as a friend? My friend has Autism he has stated, now i don’t know if this is something else.

But in a time of trauma he developed a voice in his head, now ive done the same thing but not similar to this. It became some sort of an alternate personality (as he says) and he can even speak on his behalf and stuff. Now im going through something similar but nothing entirely like this.

Now his friend is named Jonathan, and apparently “Hes from the Marvel Universe in the future”

Now my third friend has been having some issues with his relationships, this is an entirely separate issue i wont get into as its a whole other can of worms, not too much of a big deal for a Teenager I guess. But my friend keeps saying his girlfriend is Thanos and she’ll kill us all, and that Jonathan told him that, he even has his alternate personality speak for him.

Now apparently today his alternate persona disappeared, i don’t know. But he keeps saying that my friends girlfriend will kill us all.

Hes a nice guy overall, and i want to help him through this, but is it the right thing to do to put his other persona down and tell him its not real? Do i support the idea his other persona is real?

Im trying my best not to be involved but he keeps involving me in issues I feel I don’t belong.

What do I do?",4.849390292819899,5.477557382671481,5.7900060168471725,80.96040413156842,69.03610108303249,8.754833533894907,29.829322101885282,8.841846274778883,2.2312352186121136,1093,40,220,18,18,361,130,277,0.068,0.767,0.165,0.9803,2,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,0,1,10,16,2,0,15,0,30,1,1,2,2,44,43,19,2,2,13,0,1,1,9,3,0,6,0,4,19,10,0,3,4,0,0,3,9,4,0,1,3,7,37,12,28,36,8,22,0,0,0,0,53,9,0,6,10,163,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825447600763942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961794626986158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652406430285064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958116753614864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821232232703522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236778845213271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04734000565259014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5063452978099273,0.0,0.04891560387134891,0.0,0.053209686295566966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313934809156036,0.09270423839092308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608705755236564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275538432776671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569210530863372,0.20226380940195424,0.29316295724653163,0.0,0.2496566755417373,0.20716609939407596,0.0,0.1029085562914812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04574082509451905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882571832291785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983645749040381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452512497321288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411976482523862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313326151052306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005190453104499,0.0,0.0799559014238189,0.0,0.22336492560488166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415539352181306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717911412785304,0.0,0.2124908429287362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183305523611957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440161115466113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054593943096946984,0.0,0.08874628858676846,0.08946344152842932,0.0,0.06356575637114009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252405621759555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055222908640033465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045298357039327,0.0,0.09025190733912074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sierrarock01,2019/01/17,"My mom's anxiety controls me Background: I have suffered from multiple forms of anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses for as long as I can remember. My parents decided 5 years (7th-11th grade) of public school was enough and I needed to switch back to homeschooling to work on my mental health(now in 12th). So I have been here doing exactly that except, there has been a few set backs but they don't relate entirley to the topic. I'll try explain with clairty with as few words as possible.

Problem: me and quiet a few other people I know in person know without a doubt that my mom has some anxiety issues as she makes it very obvious when she feels uneasy about something. My mom has acknowledged it from time to time and I have tried suggesting therapy  occasionally to her. She stresses me out quiet often so I'm trying to see if she will get help for herself which she seems compliant to, but never actually does and continues to nag me about various things that I'm trying not to over stress on. I don't mind if she comes to me with stresses from her own life since I like giving advice from time to time but when she starts in on my life stressing about trivial things that I have control/a plan for it drives me crazy and i start unecessarily stressing about them too(as if i dont stress over enough dumb things already). I have told her that there are topics that I wish to leave untouched that I can deal with perfectly fine on my own, but I think my mom gets so anxious about the possibility that I can't deal with it on my own that she gets controlling about it anyways. Next thing you know, I find myself not getting anxious about what I'm supposed to deal with but getting anxious about my mom going nuts about it. I keep on finding myself having to explain multitudes of things to her cause she keeps on misinterpreting things. I get anxiety everytime I hear her coming to my room because I know it's going to be another storm of anxiety brought to the table that I will have to eat so I can crap out another explaination for her as to why she needn't worry. I know some people will say that I should be glad that my mom cares which I am but there comes a point to where you care too much to the point that it becomes unhealthy. I can't seem to get my point across to her that I can handle things on my own and that I will ask if I really do need help with something.",7.87913043478261,6.5609123842887485,7.754058894119817,75.94383273331489,63.161358811040344,11.078777808547956,34.70331394812148,10.074871250255047,3.201152053909351,1907,67,373,34,23,613,210,471,0.14400000000000002,0.759,0.097,-0.9499,1,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,2,5,25,19,3,7,8,0,33,5,1,4,4,72,76,29,0,10,14,7,1,1,0,5,3,4,1,1,35,19,1,4,17,0,0,7,10,13,0,0,5,6,74,6,77,64,14,44,0,2,1,0,45,21,2,10,16,278,109,3,0.0,0.0,0.056482820442196935,0.0,0.0,0.056559956250300775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387234691504179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138507595356328,0.22139134351973047,0.19616478157996586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05411026433671074,0.0,0.0,0.08901275115876102,0.0,0.03528329176537301,0.06392424050320743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802564042034187,0.05945900877892185,0.0,0.1495762521254875,0.0,0.0,0.1947530239081308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17901613376895104,0.04985221490802447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065143786652626,0.0,0.0678352768980455,0.0,0.0,0.059225993561712625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961163815478755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029266017221492305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580308555509604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116804634674113,0.05552405489726511,0.06578941316163803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06152404900108696,0.06523530121930368,0.0,0.07759188589692541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041199219143721,0.0,0.10289333464926384,0.0,0.0,0.1590474873813528,0.0,0.0,0.061286877163068035,0.0,0.0,0.08176513084986675,0.028277389419116374,0.0,0.0,0.05122224137068498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038635547629306585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665945137023255,0.0,0.0584426000521224,0.4067322251214071,0.0,0.0,0.042548678014572336,0.08583501350706461,0.0446408531771917,0.0,0.061556352391893776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426922003726128,0.0,0.0,0.08025382012427472,0.05053884270685045,0.0,0.0,0.16414676741030404,0.13050267616298314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538362722944209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037079600304504336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556709329930774,0.0,0.0,0.04602873524070617,0.0,0.05857795054541276,0.04612310284281646,0.10538409693354382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787917971501388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911816065973689,0.0,0.0,0.08193594410959991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978101072580964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619116382421736,0.0,0.2691716816434466,0.03708735715022226,0.0,0.0,0.1350018663360259,0.0,0.0,0.05530710409456256,0.0,0.15718768893329746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047757306658412116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222796524889762,0.0,0.06655948495642597,0.055794540749378216,0.0,0.0421375454949565,0.05878025107946405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03727301352418511
mentalhealth,allmaga3,2019/01/17,"Mental Health Blog Hi everyone.  This is my first time posting in this subreddit, so if this is not allowed; I'm sorry.  I'm not promoting products or services, just a blog (completely free, no money involved) that I've started writing to help people feel like they aren't alone in the mental health battle.  I just want to help others that are, or have been in a similar situation to myself.  Please check it out if you have a chance.  You are not alone.

​

[https://jzbin24.wixsite.com/mentalhealth](https://jzbin24.wixsite.com/mentalhealth)

​

​",8.428598901098907,11.772736406593404,5.962733516483523,72.5728914835165,64.05494505494505,7.626923076923077,30.05631868131868,8.472884824447931,2.5666802197802205,467,17,66,7,8,132,61,91,0.07,0.711,0.218,0.8908,1,2,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,2,1,2,3,3,1,0,4,0,8,2,0,1,0,14,13,5,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,5,1,0,1,1,1,6,3,7,12,0,8,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,4,4,44,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633628885040069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4132770340980145,0.4634767194214937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330665264173092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149025348504512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428714554748048,0.09083073668122454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814747565965686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702933892828153,0.0,0.0,0.17044208045828485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211547801436111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25625977983159753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814470681172326,0.0,0.0,0.1395644527314984,0.0,0.0,0.12176751606333144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291366899898927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423257906700065,0.08999222416700749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413790339698174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749920308702542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4634767194214937,0.0
mentalhealth,rxrunning,2019/01/17,"Ways to self-soothe without food? I'm a recovering bulimic and self-harmer, as well as schizoaffective bipolar type. I know that my desire to binge-purge comes from my oral fixation combined with dirt-low body image. I sucked my thumb until I was 12, used to chew gum like it was going out of style, and started binging at 16 (I'm 26 now).

I used binging and purging to self-soothe through my rapid cycling depressive episodes, but now I'm trying to break the habit. I've been clean for 3.5 weeks, but its been really difficult, especially with my recent medication changes causing rapid weight gain and making my body anxiety skyrocket. I've tried drinking tea instead, but it doesn't quite help. I crave soft foods, warm or cold. Any advice?",5.5798561151079165,7.112857812949643,5.366251798561152,81.34664388489209,67.9928057553957,8.725467625899281,31.16618705035971,9.120678840339163,2.6555548201438848,592,24,109,11,10,183,100,139,0.091,0.794,0.115,0.5037,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,1,0,2,0,5,10,2,4,0,19,16,11,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,8,6,0,1,1,0,2,2,3,1,0,4,4,11,3,17,12,0,12,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,7,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022699029987238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454432547837694,0.0,0.11760601464481292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415274177595948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792706584746727,0.16263008448533897,0.13242814449682544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241078497784586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506006973683188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3717912903301169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737051960515911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304459429213428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448813233984953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510661937523544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261857369996168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487073316892458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16351492881736612,0.0,0.0,0.09848587454022817,0.0,0.15179368214903072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811339653613336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088136474725287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875045691461488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655534639619526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202681610162973,0.12331606352095514,0.18720647712317764,0.13822524107107315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481939960287381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,obsessive23,2019/01/17,What's the most productive way to talk to my therapist about my problems? I'm starting to go to therapy again because of a recent downward spiral and since my past therapy vists have accomplished nothing I'm thinking of changing my approach but I'm wondering if I should show my therapist first hand how I feel by not holding back my tears or try talking calmly about my problems? I'm also considering writing what causes me to breakdown in a notebook so I remember what I want to tell my therapist even when I'm not in the middle of a breakdown.,7.1320125786163535,7.1532541509434004,7.775471698113207,70.78257861635221,64.09433962264151,10.840251572327047,41.25157232704403,10.504223727775694,4.6496213836478,444,25,75,10,6,148,67,106,0.07400000000000001,0.818,0.108,0.5655,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,9,3,0,0,5,0,2,1,1,2,0,19,13,8,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,2,13,1,14,12,1,14,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,4,7,52,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940425068860822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442656757024262,0.0,0.098641572803756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622967557299229,0.17117994333230235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687798643644372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181906573872899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764066432129599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196380019265887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526688093540011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447174626429055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096722456520116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977384498508967,0.0,0.18330606027983087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385592316751144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145342454139091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26012325108810386,0.14143437529561792,0.0,0.3701015511109214,0.5636427788948369,0.0,0.10368520218464583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986248792257557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544330910014397,0.12844206243514153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548262255365593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cyclotaur,2019/01/17,"Letting go of feelings through music and sounds. A few months ago, I made a video, with an ambient soundtrack. I have always played guitar, but I came upon some effects, and some sounds that made my heart just sunder with emotion.  
Now my mental health has been a roller coaster since I was young. 2018 was a great year for me to be honest. But after the summer, until a little bit after new years eve, I gradually became more depressed and more anxious. But i stayed strong. I still did what I have to do, I still went to work. But it was so hard.  


In the end of november, when my depression was at a high point, I sat down to play guitar. And my depression was eating away at my motivation to play guitar, something that i have loved to do for so many years. Until i felt something. The sounds i came upon made my feelings just disappear.   


Whatever i felt, was completely numbed. The only thing i can explain it as, is an ego loss. My thoughts were completely shut off and i was entranced in the sounds i was creating. Although some may find the sounds and images i created disturbing, for me it is pleasant. I like to challenge my own mental health, to get healthier. And i do that via sounds that may trigger some peoples anxiety. I have listened to many tracks that have induced anxiety to me. And it is inspiring. Not only inspiring musically, but mentally. I want to feel the fear, to overcome it. I intentionally give myself anxiety to know how to deal with it when it comes to me unexpected. Are there anyone else that can share the same experience as i have to ""scary"" music? If someone is wondering what kind of music i am talking about i can link them.  


If someone is willing to listen to what i created during my ""ego loss"" link is here: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvNN3tz3HAY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvNN3tz3HAY)  (it might be a bit scary to some, it was for my mom atleast. But there are no jump scares here just my emotions pouring out of me through audio waves)  


For me music has been the only thing that has kept me sane for so many years. And right now my mental health is getting better. Mostly because my motivation for making music is growing.   


I am not expecting this to get alot of attention. I just felt like sharing my feelings on music and my own mentality. Although I would love some music related mental health stories <3",4.837597701149427,7.000160570114943,5.0457183908045975,80.40903735632186,70.88505747126436,7.775862068965517,28.17528735632184,8.515128840125781,2.175218390804598,1868,70,330,32,36,587,202,435,0.114,0.721,0.165,0.9786,0,0,2,0,0,0,78.0,0,0,1,9,19,27,0,3,19,0,48,9,1,11,0,75,79,30,0,5,14,1,8,2,0,5,5,9,0,0,22,17,1,1,21,8,0,8,3,9,0,0,25,17,54,18,55,46,16,46,0,5,0,2,12,16,0,14,23,252,76,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591017267858737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061868332254927626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064139988498614,0.08399864944221301,0.0,0.05198991778550777,0.07618427242981403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985785881979895,0.0,0.0,0.04532539682652557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575990899797594,0.16235022178427996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17008191754493873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404922976475846,0.1559171253479938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766555206487389,0.1921225013595515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608251742725383,0.06211307338152365,0.16727607315748752,0.06585541264044302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273230058220091,0.0,0.08366871592058969,0.15038209619635207,0.0,0.21417397418887546,0.0,0.06795804187071243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116540401909754,0.07132695663351256,0.04225698778850833,0.0,0.0,0.08197534593439004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660641561635303,0.0,0.0,0.3161385228898174,0.0,0.08810963135948346,0.0,0.07855889015985645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742805872064105,0.0408629134025212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603181569309407,0.0,0.07265103863679118,0.07452205826428514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421444594588255,0.21106613885103315,0.04963175033535416,0.2261493009862225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44958695708571894,0.07887764999303654,0.0,0.08708229203950435,0.05934850749730035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181137996163732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964828543304944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05154757481481972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028839051392073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349775361045454,0.0,0.0,0.07444114212673893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150624592349725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259994960208764,0.11448240212997406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925127602506787,0.11875810889541585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059762781777772514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987947445176206,0.0,0.0,0.059028625439958765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04385580781449221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892673344606058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063354301160335,0.05413046445765735,0.0,0.0,0.05281881841034488,0.0,0.0,0.1915256819163493
mentalhealth,iamawhour,2019/01/17,"Relating songs to my boyfriend and his ex Every time i listen to music, i cant help but imagine my boyfriend with his ex. This only started like a week ago, and it’s stating to become draining already. I cant help but associate and imagine and it ruins so many songs for me. Music is something that helps me, but now it kind of is getting ruined. Rather not talk about the back story of them being together, but i know hes over his ex and all is good. Im just scared feelings might come back if they ever meet or talk (theyre not on speaking terms) and thats just another one of my problems. Idk how to overcome it. 
I might sound dumb, but i also have an issue with the square button a playstation controller being associated with his ex. I really know it sounds stupid, but it came from a dream i had and it hasent left my head since. Please, does anyone have any advice? Im getting really tired with all this.",2.309808184143222,4.345878369565224,3.509437340153453,89.17955242966755,77.80434782608695,5.851150895140666,22.780051150895144,6.794906146795322,0.6446941176470586,716,22,145,7,17,232,112,184,0.174,0.747,0.079,-0.9633,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,11,9,2,1,6,0,13,2,1,2,3,39,22,18,0,3,13,4,1,1,0,2,1,6,0,0,11,13,0,1,5,3,0,2,4,6,0,1,2,8,21,3,16,16,3,15,0,2,1,0,19,3,1,4,10,96,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896220409297771,0.12605717187852475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15692802286879973,0.1137222068960851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670505855765152,0.14911554761334314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943384664151038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869550320480327,0.0,0.0,0.15705552026921987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264595161921622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249800655986272,0.0,0.0,0.1594962894259212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444556030528348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863360426505716,0.11981481480107152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190370233180629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859368822038088,0.0,0.0,0.11927577181946293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594453652766773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28595335460262794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072140897165186,0.14842627443731854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808582210768906,0.15630556221899697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450739822592033,0.0,0.0,0.06947474185245611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417471611272714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017165053119818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963625676647135,0.10815418524247794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609964915762867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607208033203175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18220180236342276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237316436211678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763439692064358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947724194821384,0.0,0.0,0.10065424500614326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285998336322641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292154974315404,0.16344505022592346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406919590637725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lilsl0th,2019/01/17,"Phobia or just scared? I think I have a phobia of bugs. I can’t be close to one. Videos make my heart race. The worst times were when I had a butterfly in my room and I locked myself in the bathroom, when a beetle was on a stuffed animal of mine and now I can’t hold it without feeling sick(almost fainted that time), and the fact that I can never go camping/lay in grass/or stay still In grass. I seriously ALWAYS stay moving in grass because I don’t want a bug to crawl on me. ",3.132008486562942,3.8050733465346553,4.407439886845829,89.16227722772278,72.96039603960395,7.355586987270155,24.32956152758133,7.447530270364453,0.8683482319660532,372,10,84,4,7,123,67,101,0.16699999999999998,0.8190000000000001,0.014,-0.9181,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,8,0,9,2,1,1,2,14,14,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,2,1,0,2,5,3,0,1,3,1,14,0,12,10,1,20,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,1,7,58,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510385403361353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20860140613931608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528236040512094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267607982201525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247785176385885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970791732395717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734333271583773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26645304916158186,0.0,0.0,0.19335429686735167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987993106885246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509931390791226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5344229273562648,0.200208310157388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063760779808403,0.0,0.0,0.2923688626376809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786859196047006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24166460602381098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kaylabheyyy,2019/01/17,"Going cold turkey I’ve had enough, I hate the medication I’m on!!! I know going cold turkey isin’t recommended but I can’t continue feeling this way so going cold turkey is what I have decided to do. For about 5 months I have been taking 75mg of venlafaxine(Effexor). Anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts and panic attacks led me to a psychiatrist. think it helped me through a really, really hard time in my life and I think it was even really complimentary to the therapy I also began 5 month ago. Now I am in a much better place in my life and have no reason to be unhappy. This week I transferred to a great school and began a new job at the IT office on my university campus. But lately I noticed every time I take the venlafaxine in the morning as usual, I have a HORRIBLE day. The slightest thing will make me so mad and angry and hateful and hostile. I hate it. I’m a very forgiving person who values kindness and compassion and I find myself criticizing(horribly) the people I love and who care for me, or working myself into a fit of rage over things I normally would never. Today I thought about quitting the job I JUST started because I got so irritated by a coworker. I want to feel normal again. So I started by skipping a dose every other day but on the days I would take it I would experience the same awful angry feelings. So today I decided to go cold turkey. Any advice or tips would be awesome:) thanks",3.1790169397389616,5.4933539566787015,5.391714801444046,75.38235698417108,76.2202166064982,8.016051096917522,26.177311857817273,8.841846274778883,2.3867562899194663,1134,43,199,26,26,395,156,277,0.244,0.603,0.153,-0.9887,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,12,16,7,1,20,1,18,5,0,3,1,43,48,24,1,7,6,0,4,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,13,13,0,0,13,0,0,5,3,9,0,0,8,8,33,7,27,33,3,40,0,1,0,1,6,12,0,2,22,143,46,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969612039158347,0.08795668741256471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934993665782873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747618148188989,0.0,0.07590660469827729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288239222253005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06048644084066155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775616152941383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011661690246878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19197511994770003,0.0,0.08546206708438303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252561358524492,0.0,0.06553696195232224,0.0,0.16720213623398816,0.0,0.0,0.09706077176131674,0.0,0.0,0.15051293097149565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068955523968973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255666774860619,0.0,0.07935903685327145,0.10939555435621624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888581898590915,0.2938914717075154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650820801002613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19693035841265227,0.0,0.0,0.1033272297899113,0.05453128636818025,0.0,0.11192975519457317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401706445891509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955414307500162,0.0,0.06623324097895178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999584209828883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584003776715391,0.0,0.07294155297898064,0.0,0.07652818627962613,0.09583180931344544,0.0,0.0,0.1944382279909542,0.0,0.11296795001497215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641877682876076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878989601457779,0.08663915883674612,0.10366866636086193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553765554842046,0.0,0.0,0.19069760257586327,0.1020194916295651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042066833768534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046347118249586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853568950939176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22381382055443616,0.0,0.0,0.09135274937996722,0.11347206324885073,0.0,0.13184092998687602,0.1271583303009704,0.0,0.1575466167122503,0.11571741174000692,0.0,0.18810677951134944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928196103097727,0.0818707484299499,0.0585252840707241,0.07875992839643697,0.07959204905380785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223674507753021,0.0,0.0,0.28194544857741033,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thatniggafromphilly,2019/01/17,Whats wrong with me? For the past week I've been depressed than happy than depressed again I'm too scared to talk to anyone in my family about my feelings because I'm scared they're going to yell at me and make things worse and I'm scared of going to my school counselor because shell just call my parents or refer me to the hospital which I do not want to go to because it looks like a prison for the mentally ill someone please help me,5.888901098901101,5.317560307692316,5.901406593406595,85.16859340659343,66.80219780219781,8.598681318681319,30.28791208791209,7.554174236665415,1.714633406593406,352,11,74,3,5,111,62,91,0.264,0.633,0.103,-0.9487,1,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,10,12,3,0,1,3,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,6,0,0,1,3,9,2,16,11,0,8,0,2,1,0,4,2,0,1,4,42,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193776049296853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122242280490655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17433327860263845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940970742317869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094799680438002,0.0,0.08632565328479057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29108747668425355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18174407108847287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443597174425275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834095085887185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336926290253896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396285541259812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720545586227716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189574220633826,0.0,0.16298003759770674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874090450708004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.512788188585915,0.17278674479844586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465802888336626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722540939571606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342468388593276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070031887240316,0.0,0.1369484120699158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398731797886238,0.0,0.1866652325477632,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RareMoth,2019/01/17,"I think I’m experiencing Ego Death I had something traumatic happen to me...

For context:
I have always had depression.  But it was under control until now.  I also had been successfully repressing some very very severe trauma that happened many years ago, but now it’s loose.  I had not been getting the help I really should have gotten and thought I could just ignore my mental health.

I don’t know how to describe it but it’s like I was a delicate house of cards but it was working until now.

I never did any drugs or psychedelics because I knew how precarious my mental health situation was and figured if I could just avoid anything traumatic, stay safe and reclusive, I could avoid an absolute mental breakdown.  It’s been a very delicate situation but I ignorantly thought I could just manage like this for the rest of my life.

This most horrifically traumatic event just happened to me and it’s like my head went off like a nuclear fucking bomb.  Holy shit it’s horrible.

The night after it happened:  
I couldn’t stop vomiting from sheer panic and horror and didn’t sleep for days.  I realized I was in trouble and I fucked up.  

Not only am I dealing with this new trauma but it’s unlocked Pandora’s box and EVERYTHING CAME BACK AT ONCE.  Like repressed memories, horrifying emotions that i didn’t let myself feel, everything I repressed.

I finally contacted a therapist and he recommended I see him twice a week.

Sometimes I feel like it helps, sometimes I wonder why I’m spending so much fucking money to vent at a stranger.  

I forget why I’m writing this post...

I guess what i want to say is this...

I feel like I’m experiencing ego death.  The realization came to me today.  The word “ego death” resonates with me deeply.  I’m not a religious person at all so I don’t mean it in a magical mystical sense, but every description of what ego death is supposed to feel like resonates with what I’m feeling.

Would it be ridiculous to tell my therapist this?  The concept of “ego death” does exist in jungian psychology but do you think he’ll think I’m talking about it in a mystical sense?  I don’t mean I reached enlightenment or anything dumb like that.  

Does any of this makes sense or would I just be wasting therapy time rambling about this bizarre sensation?

Does it sound pretentious and dumb?

I have problems describing my emotions sometimes...",4.118690476190474,6.528241977324267,5.05850283446712,78.43238010204084,73.67120181405895,8.310226757369614,30.979648526077103,9.052201404669685,2.9962938321995467,1876,88,330,43,40,611,208,441,0.279,0.62,0.1,-0.9986,0,2,2,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,0,3,16,31,7,6,16,0,36,11,3,4,2,84,75,29,5,11,20,0,5,9,0,4,5,2,0,1,29,15,0,10,18,0,2,3,10,20,0,1,22,10,48,11,35,41,5,34,0,1,1,3,13,10,6,8,28,210,77,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538985395930345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589913163213806,0.061379921284437575,0.0,0.0,0.1003279632880294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214076500644806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056722147589901274,0.0,0.044967581765976115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687392294299812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273578501873842,0.2355872812022542,0.0,0.0,0.04757351004788077,0.07605037426982564,0.06353527230391919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936615797335484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554611646412033,0.0,0.0,0.16595553539199592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062151745317219675,0.0,0.13259376086038605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18649365698688344,0.15809713845188547,0.0,0.08080796892888066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458876830438144,0.038540129955352005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126249221850618,0.0,0.26092709650505824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570606088877539,0.15682140557789032,0.0,0.0,0.09888871754507048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511703071285376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040540326798606606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543159306647193,0.052103701541610516,0.3243487728864174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049239939364136655,0.07478799889561343,0.0,0.16070743129163195,0.0,0.0,0.22301887759576167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05422711606325218,0.0,0.056893535577606014,0.07124447497970288,0.0,0.06922518343956965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855927847526051,0.0,0.056103006855557656,0.0,0.08654949428968532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441036048706884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064824290911374,0.0,0.0,0.07058490467662151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047256927432685766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05866235297105191,0.0,0.0,0.05878262187601045,0.0,0.0,0.08333553375121816,0.0757206025171978,0.0,0.16583404061920778,0.0738201148118029,0.0,0.0,0.056789318340090385,0.21887187672117656,0.0,0.0,0.07862563781525664,0.0,0.06167238237161628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929099278357439,0.06447547068494515,0.0,0.0843588118490607,0.17129797661262547,0.0,0.14180043995554456,0.0,0.11712526428234672,0.04301403836831354,0.0,0.06992234020425903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18259610863682454,0.043509594220629014,0.0,0.059171310528535664,0.0,0.0,0.06838260090606603,0.13312620111625995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999699268672833,0.053703139011580914,0.0,0.0,0.10480369514423928,0.0,0.0,0.047503427244224086
mentalhealth,oriondavis,2019/01/17,"I think my mind is slowly falling apart piece by piece, and I’m fully aware of it happening. I’ll start this off by saying I’m 18 and riddled with what I believe to be Anxiety. Although I can’t totally be sure. The idea of interacting with people in public is equally terrifying and completely normal to me. Whenever I even try to talk to someone about what’s going on inside my head I start having a completely nervous breakdown inside and out. Sometimes I feel like I’m not in control. I hear all voices of encouragement and discouragement. I can never accomplish anything I want to, something is always going on in my head distracting me from being persistent at anything. I can’t talk to a therapist or psychologist in person cause as mentioned before talking to someone whom I have no recollection of is utterly terrifying. I can’t get a job, I can’t exercise, I can’t even talk to the people at the bank. Something and everything is wrong. I just need some kind of closure or some encouragement. I see my face in the mirror and all I can think is that I’m trapped in this shitty shell of a person. I have plenty of friends yet I’m still convinced everyone has a problem with me. I’m angry, fed up, and over myself. Typing this on the internet is the furthest I’ve ever come to actually seeking help, that I’m not even sure will work out. I don’t know how to be consistent. I just want to leave my mothers home and be a normal fucking human. But it always seems like that’s too much to ask for. ",3.961673254281948,5.546114026936031,5.695918606353391,77.22523056653493,72.03030303030303,8.532220758307714,30.08476064997805,9.085049710711278,2.7288083443126916,1194,51,219,25,23,409,155,297,0.14400000000000002,0.773,0.08199999999999999,-0.9362,1,1,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,11,15,1,2,12,0,25,6,3,3,7,49,52,15,0,6,7,1,1,2,1,1,1,3,1,3,11,15,1,2,7,1,1,4,10,6,0,0,1,5,29,9,44,45,9,27,0,1,1,1,19,17,1,5,8,157,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.1059247886773981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806371685448992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303704062133964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786474606712969,0.0,0.10147542686912787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923642593644784,0.1222936525795909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150616931957663,0.0,0.09350237100714927,0.2276158660174528,0.0,0.121743052372679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21507991538281826,0.09818565483431382,0.0,0.1037199146167059,0.09755373185291254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05488388620373734,0.0775449551128707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386201456495374,0.10034860219553557,0.05671056434095121,0.0,0.12337786307056248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598646210969002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227980778480307,0.0,0.12233871187492673,0.0,0.072755787090374,0.0,0.10888002638875298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253470189594486,0.0,0.0,0.10771469911008616,0.0,0.0,0.11303347595983415,0.05965378980244725,0.0,0.0,0.11493405360023015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605973551316136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096000520479316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979346094815742,0.08048514216957355,0.08371701168874678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127031646350609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050361987353816,0.1895555566033336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038634219137493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631976971562981,0.0,0.0,0.08649674154942404,0.09881578248263803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394056676291465,0.1671273187368806,0.1073543140755752,0.0,0.15365818308904006,0.0,0.0866846080650013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20460577280500947,0.0,0.0,0.34897917209797424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602973751540286,0.0,0.1391031976797539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369529620952345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804594303943231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902244553289002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867750768763215,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MotleyLou1012,2019/01/17,"I’m in urgent need of advice.   Hello, so this is my first time seeking any sort of help. I’ll just get right into it.

  My fiancé is only with me because of our kids (I had them in a previous relationship). She’s scared to be around me because she thinks I’m going to hurt her. One time we were arguing and she wouldn’t listen or let me speak and I apparently grabbed her arm and it just scared her. I’m not justifying it by any means, it’s just she knows I wouldn’t ever hurt her. I didn’t leave a bruise or scratch, I just scared her.

  I don’t know what to do, I’m very scared of losing her but I can’t live with the idea that I’m with someone who isn’t happy with me.

  She deserves better.

  What do I do ?",-0.340595825426945,1.5905197677419385,2.049753320683113,96.60639468690704,86.80645161290323,4.937381404174573,16.859582542694493,6.2272716619740125,-0.5280777988614802,544,12,133,5,17,185,86,155,0.116,0.8029999999999999,0.081,-0.0589,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,1,3,7,10,1,4,3,0,15,1,1,0,1,28,28,7,0,3,8,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,9,10,0,0,5,0,0,1,7,8,0,2,3,4,28,2,16,21,0,10,0,3,0,0,22,5,0,3,4,86,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461365831343777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033955480436893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312943361295204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18232615589399487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322630606570131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527473550273875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720545966113225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813266209181705,0.0,0.08499157958424436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591966359167945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023887778262636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201884723191037,0.16882149858706216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437534894235595,0.0,0.0,0.15834974800814944,0.0,0.1529229709120806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205363138074866,0.0,0.0,0.16730596864879205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290162279291026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088795341093348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133760091452176,0.11373799938034344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16055859438410425,0.0,0.1277131821703421,0.0,0.0,0.5988945816083324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267115423279798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958243253837204,0.0,0.0,0.17440529281708805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233927689737896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itsaalivia,2019/01/17,"Met my psychiatrist for the first time over video chat... And honestly, I didn't like the experience. 
I've met with a psychiatrist before in person and it felt much more natural. 
With this I felt really anxious, More than normal I think.
The whole thing just felt very Ingenuine. 
I just don't understand how a doctor could truly make a connection with a patient through video call (a 45 minute one at that) especially enough to give a prescription. 
(I ended up being prescribed wellbutrin for concentration and focus issues. Although, she said I had a lot of anxiety too and that wellbutrin doesn't help with that. She said it's Mostly helpful with depression which she said it seems I don't have) 

I guess my question would be. 
Have any of you had to talk to a psychiatrist over video call and if so what were your opinions?",5.111212121212123,7.0166933896103965,5.429285714285713,78.99488095238097,69.64935064935065,9.029437229437232,28.417748917748927,9.516144504307137,2.6287203463203457,658,24,120,15,12,209,98,154,0.081,0.841,0.077,0.1109,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,1,5,3,0,0,11,0,13,1,0,2,0,29,27,9,0,4,3,0,3,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,10,10,0,0,7,4,0,0,4,1,0,2,12,6,15,2,19,11,7,8,0,1,0,0,19,5,0,7,4,89,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960116705149108,0.0,0.11204526173274587,0.1654636682826113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463085796177364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991141150223981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169403194345121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615001965577974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499130502977603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972444466799596,0.151337413313783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327079467204595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4218878714750798,0.0,0.0,0.1245829848237255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050249581851834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134762028886201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963446949967031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287132209581936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155536093264886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451923604292894,0.0,0.0,0.09776647039336096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766856754045168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350452264789687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924841929299816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788751738738324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407422875080144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382917721653224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41796503276394026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333616093187114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772295346874945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973047837285456,0.0938488057574424,0.0,0.0,0.08540487179595356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524751454836607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084889677983078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16352285090112315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404447579292576,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,victoryovermi,2019/01/17,"Psychological War with a Psychopath The worst thing a normal man can do is have kids with a female psychopath...but that's exactly what my brother did. As a result, he'll be paying child support til 2039. I have schizoaffective disorder for trying to stop her. She Gaslighted me. My niece is being trained to be a psychological axe-murderer like her mother and my brother is terrified of standing up to her. Stockholm Syndrome conditioning at its finest. And the female psychopath is a high self-monitor, attractive, went to beauty school, and studied Psychology, Sociology and Anthropology! She's like the pawn shop owner from 1984 by George Orwell. Pretending until the ending to be a normal person but she's evil! You have to be evil to use your knowledge to mess with peoples minds, Gaslight and cause mental illness in a victim! ",5.648253638253639,8.298015135135135,6.151351351351355,71.23772349272352,69.94594594594595,8.33762993762994,31.65488565488565,9.057496981413335,3.2122239085239084,672,30,103,14,13,217,100,148,0.209,0.723,0.068,-0.9789,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,0,0,10,4,0,12,0,15,1,0,3,1,18,19,9,1,2,1,3,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,4,4,8,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,13,4,21,11,1,10,0,0,0,0,17,4,0,0,6,72,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23598834746128705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263281954148179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034660014689752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24271449558650715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22446167659297328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23150630753838775,0.0,0.2319542974374383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4501586650165868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926069722252767,0.20058487717715728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232491493396396,0.0,0.0,0.2396507290329005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920583451123033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26068643692958604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526174601843175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15596653776449115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19840653274571893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21295511312270293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rubber-toes,2019/01/17,"An event in my childhood. When I was little, I had my first trip to the dentist. When we went, we went to an adult dentist. This seems weird to people, but 1) my sisters had gone perfectly fine and 2) my family was, well, poor. Options were limited. When I went, I was fine, but the atmosphere of that particular office was just so terrifying. It was these round rooms with subdued lighting and everything was gray or green. The dentist was an old man and his assistant were just a bunch of young women. As a kid, this mental image just didn't work out, and I left the place kicking and screaming.
This happened a few times until, one time, I got a cavity. I was already scared of the dentist, but having to do extra and have a needle in my mouth? I couldn't do that. They tried to do fillings again and again, but every time, I wouldn't cooperate. So, I had to be sent to some special dentist for kids. 

This is where the story gets worse, though. This particular dentist was some lady who used a papoose board. If you don't know what that is, it's a guard used to tie uncooperative kids down. She also used sedation. As I've apparently learned, sedation dentistry isn't recommended for kids most of the time. This felt like TORTURE. Not being able to move, random metal things in my mouth, and all the while I was kind of woozy with the faint taste of strawberry sedation gas in my mouth too, so I couldn't even scream or try to move. After 2 or so visits, I got my filling. I can't blame my parents for this either because they're non-native English speakers and only saw me before and after they did this, so apparently my mom only had a faint idea of what was happening. 
For about 5 years after this, going to the dentist felt like the same torture, even if I wasn't tied down or sedated. I only scraped by because I never got a cavity until that point.
After that period, though, we switched dentists after this dentist retired. The new guy was just very mild mannered. His office had natural lighting and was well designed, which just sort of eased me too. After that, he retired too, and I'm perfectly fine at my current dentist. I've even gotten cavities out.
Sometimes, though, the memory of being tied down just comes back and I just feel sort of dirty? I don't know how to describe it, really. Kind of how you feel when you hear of something terrible that happened to someone else. That feeling. I don't know what it is, but when it happens, I just feel really bad. 
Does anyone have any idea of what's happening? I've asked my mom and she assured me it couldn't have been that bad, but I remember it, and when I do, I don't feel comfortable.
I'm only 16. I don't know if that's relevant. 
TL;DR: didn't like dentist as a kid. hated it even more after I was tied down. Feel weird now.",3.460879446640316,5.083244119565219,4.629901185770752,84.2133201581028,73.3840579710145,7.481949934123848,26.31357048748353,8.150884317080207,1.6469659420289853,2182,76,431,34,44,717,238,552,0.121,0.787,0.092,-0.9752,4,0,1,0,0,0,85.0,3,3,2,5,40,26,3,1,26,0,51,18,3,5,5,87,90,51,0,7,23,4,9,3,0,1,14,4,1,9,36,23,1,2,17,0,1,13,16,11,2,2,38,19,53,15,57,45,10,64,0,0,4,0,31,17,0,15,37,305,89,2,0.08056293812436227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890320554459756,0.06442615251146466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05478556054542992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05633147951816672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531547194903876,0.0,0.0,0.06194792656424083,0.13453337643533791,0.09822083864490833,0.0,0.06855312660306231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069397837664086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070501170056689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729999719247512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21284424329590407,0.0,0.06787775002080496,0.0,0.07240477405793867,0.0,0.07594756814576842,0.0,0.2444102529667343,0.0,0.15470610911035854,0.0,0.0,0.06852679401298654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04209081005733125,0.0,0.04578577430971272,0.0,0.19330062354753166,0.0,0.0,0.0797699748302074,0.3562077006009228,0.0,0.0,0.07953922240121122,0.0,0.0,0.09080028640215336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818915019757468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778780539518418,0.17710113556120224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753186799609519,0.0,0.0,0.11807694652912315,0.08074522864385801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811884930240862,0.0,0.0,0.18870867888872705,0.0,0.17125130709110795,0.0,0.0,0.06213510442910392,0.07780818765995191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453725141663515,0.0,0.054591531858294295,0.24508697899442386,0.0,0.0,0.08945560880616453,0.0,0.0,0.05585219747551911,0.0,0.08417112339264965,0.0,0.07615801677038868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322136218879266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126210408870096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065755538067496,0.0,0.0,0.07334147313607063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826071603615641,0.06202128571717815,0.0796788057939881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535224363140672,0.0,0.2374580330004219,0.0,0.1879075883612088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939389339258997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087415358705234,0.0,0.06647286118602477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448715131874318,0.22404795230046795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865077845449791,0.0,0.08210051663308139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187989079240843
mentalhealth,USERMANE-420,2019/01/17,"What's the point in seeking a diagnosis/professional opinion? First post ever, guys. Here goes! 

    Imagine this: you've stumbled upon some incredibly eye-opening information regarding a certain mental disorder. 5 of the 9 symptoms you see listed warrant a potential diagnosis of said disorder. Shockingly, 9 of 9 symptoms listed are clearly present in your life on the day-to-day, and now you're left sitting there trying your best not be 'Dr. Google Search, PhD'.

     There isn't a medication you can take, or even a sure-fire route to nip the problem. It's just therapy. Do therapy.

     Regardless of whether or not a diagnosis would be made, the list of symptoms reads like a ""To-Do"" and a ""Have-Done"" list at the same time, which means therapy is probably a good idea anyway.

     Getting in to see a Psych takes months in my neck of the woods.  Assuming that I make the wait, and receive a diagnosis (or not), what good would that actually do anyway? In a case like this, would it be advisable to just begin taking steps to recovery as if I've already been diagnosed?

I appreciate your input in advance (:",5.336765188834153,6.980586945812808,6.487014778325123,72.65827257799673,68.70443349753694,10.142397372742204,34.71559934318555,10.355215969177356,3.9904334318555,862,43,151,24,15,289,125,203,0.05,0.815,0.135,0.9496,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,5,0,3,10,8,0,0,20,0,13,8,1,2,3,32,25,9,0,6,10,0,0,2,0,3,7,1,0,1,9,3,0,1,5,1,0,3,4,2,0,1,3,3,8,6,20,16,3,23,0,0,2,0,10,11,0,7,9,95,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.11876489224833507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430264883419407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772013427655826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156977156637952,0.0,0.0,0.12352631612299254,0.0,0.0,0.27896511562536125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803839003572539,0.1100876278568181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352078865640577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358496577989856,0.0,0.0,0.20415795476489987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205054289269648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738824357417842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223102201172512,0.0,0.08596265978779558,0.1189161972130066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515863165231625,0.0812379165067689,0.0,0.0,0.13257060278587332,0.0,0.12260329915815113,0.12264832973341383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971424353219444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504898298736001,0.0,0.11655814635264712,0.0,0.13121677184076247,0.11645364853828473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173626268634975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576773474522295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396359092555648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470394637548767,0.3794890716085424,0.27451726955412536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175350864828008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096618929082384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262857092110254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25936365719602217,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrAuros,2019/01/17,"Heeeelppppppp This is something i used to get when i was younger (probably about 5 - 7) and still get for very brief periods of time now. (I'm 13 now) It's where i suddenly have fast racing thoughts, images flashing through my head, it goes so fast i dont even have time to actually realise what im thinking about before im thinking about something else, flowers seem to appear often though. As well as this, my hearing seems to become heightened as everything seems louder than before. My mum also remembers me telling her about this as i began crying and saying i could ""hear the floor"" or something like that. Please tell me somebody here knows what this is.",5.4384050179211485,6.993680725806455,5.009139784946238,83.68926523297492,68.35483870967741,7.446594982078854,31.51971326164875,7.793537801064563,2.160821863799284,526,22,95,6,9,160,86,124,0.026,0.915,0.058,0.4215,1,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,16,2,0,0,1,0,7,1,1,1,0,15,22,11,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,9,2,0,0,8,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,3,12,2,16,18,0,15,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,6,12,60,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.1367760131267252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208595991365672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479578905112054,0.23853179806195424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190641353527796,0.0,0.15395925901950042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426656195324416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170857562255115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257440647907683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596683623426558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645570672499295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384467130333636,0.0,0.3159411780801044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30279386132860603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702831073780009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684751320153471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385367111285073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111626481512033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877404038215398,0.0,0.0,0.11146091583603136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38278939983923255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237062158935544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193201552370452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450121635949208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961783100422812,0.13770656030470846,0.11127144210265286,0.16345693166124114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105330164762472,0.0,0.11564673915483295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602073837070826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DifficultWay5,2019/01/17,"Do I have Schizophrenia? Just going to try and make it quick. I'm 15, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for the past few years, have become suicidal, had multiple suicide plans that I almost acted on, and self-harm. My grades have dropped, I cant pay attention in class, I am terrified of talking to people, and prefer to avoid social situations entirely. I have some ""tics"", some are vocal, and some are things like repetitive shoulder shrugging. I put in all my symptoms on WebMD (i know this isnt a good source), and it narrowed it down to schizophrenia, autism, or OCD, with schizophrenia being most likely. Some of the things that stuck out on schizophrenia were the hallucinations. I always ""hear"" music without actually ""hearing"" and ""feeling"" it like with actual sounds. I can tell its not really playing, but it is always going on and I cant stop it. I also can see things that I have control over, and I can see them and not see them at the same time, making it clear that they're not actually there. I have had some really realistic hallucinations in the past though, but those are rare. There are a few more things, but this is getting quite long and I want to keep it short.",5.831066666666665,6.895952195555558,6.0457777777777775,78.43400000000003,67.04444444444445,9.022222222222224,29.222222222222214,9.21078282632365,2.410822222222222,944,32,174,17,15,301,128,225,0.098,0.847,0.056,-0.7254,1,1,0,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,2,3,6,8,0,2,7,0,25,2,1,3,2,45,41,17,2,2,9,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,20,15,0,4,4,1,1,4,7,3,0,0,5,7,19,5,23,35,11,26,0,1,3,0,7,13,0,8,11,129,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.3568305096413257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205158121660735,0.0,0.0,0.09747247655812932,0.20283842814908545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324273034980488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461390642686638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367059148472426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498054165327346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616294049444882,0.08707563860023887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368059144763949,0.0,0.1385416523920191,0.10223249433814506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747495680804582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833819544347403,0.0,0.0,0.06698555482315781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786425535898232,0.0,0.0,0.10786559140271336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16272018102620273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327086411229433,0.08450065380178919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252945515601685,0.0,0.12964114515683628,0.0,0.0,0.15616704418993307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913829402425876,0.0,0.12715405395381524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700537337337804,0.0,0.1242477925998331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190245310431598,0.0,0.12742208588033208,0.0,0.2666477856698033,0.0,0.0,0.12668659554733586,0.0,0.09796763768959267,0.10653404936202296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239035215103695,0.0,0.11975272800929895,0.0,0.07107291560819666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827528363378075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189173199016906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749409970995163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849081843280133
mentalhealth,redditreadr999,2019/01/17,"Connecticut Woman Describes Horrific Psych Ward Experiences [See video here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZtnFUjXcJc&lc=z23ech2wezfez3uxp04t1aokgtyp2aiklmxarorahpj2bk0h00410)

On Tuesday January 15, 2019 Connecticut resident Jolanta Emmons and investigative reporter Michael Simonson met with Ellen Graham, the Community Outreach Organizer for U.S. Senator Richard Blumenthal, at the Senator's Bridgeport, Connecticut office. The purpose of the meeting was for Jolanta to talk about her harrowing experiences inside of four Connecticut psychiatric hospitals.  
",17.555261194029846,24.10707667164179,11.628488805970152,26.609001865671672,50.94029850746269,16.484328358208955,57.628731343283576,12.602617957971056,11.754255223880598,495,33,31,22,8,136,56,67,0.065,0.904,0.031,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,9,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,17,1,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322792616627861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7805301870681997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179240765923759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206735856512709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShrewThatWasNotTamed,2019/01/17,"I think I need help. This is my first ever full on post on reddit and I'm only doing it because I'm at my wits end. Apologies if it ends up sounding convoluted.

I'm a fairly outgoing and successful young adult who has been dealing with anxiety for most of my life. When I was younger it really hindered me, and it still does but I've gotten pretty good at the whole ""fake it til you make it"" thing. I've recently gotten back to university after taking a two-year break to take care of my mother. After she passed away I didn't let it affect me much because the rest of my immediate family was already struggling, and I felt like I had to be there for them. Now that I'm back on my own, moving on with my life, I feel like I'm finally falling apart and I don't know what to do about it. I live by myself and struggle sharing my issues with other people, as it makes me feel weak and like a burden. I'm aware I'm a very stubborn person, and know a part of my problem stems from not ever seeking help or sharing my problems with anyone.

A little bit before going back home to take care of my mother I did end up going to a counselling service, but I felt like it didn't do me any good. I'm weary of seeking medical help again, because last time it ended up doing more harm than good and it ended up triggering severe depression and suicidal thought. I'm not at that point right now, but I don't think I've ever been this anxious. I've been sleeping 1-2 hours a night if that. I second-guess everything I do. Every noise I hear startles me. I forget to eat. The semester has barely begun and I already feel it creeping up to affect my academic performance, which just makes me more anxious. Any advice on how to deal with this or how to try and start opening up about it to other people is most welcome.

Again, sorry if this sounds confusing or if this is just not the place for this kind of post. I just didn't know where to post it. Thank you.",3.631063412896332,4.479617655860348,5.061691307445674,84.28079488778056,71.9426433915212,7.623833273957963,26.04212682579266,7.83500028581142,1.4123109369433562,1524,47,312,19,28,512,193,401,0.155,0.6990000000000001,0.146,-0.4469,0,0,0,1,0,0,38.0,0,2,1,3,21,27,1,4,12,0,24,6,1,8,3,64,60,27,1,7,16,2,5,4,0,0,4,3,1,2,30,18,1,1,11,0,0,5,8,12,0,1,15,8,41,15,51,43,11,62,0,1,0,0,19,23,0,10,34,213,71,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798466756766609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17613393188965515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854047534658008,0.0,0.06105072023160672,0.1803142045383756,0.0,0.05580161545310674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497956412092005,0.18409569955322716,0.0,0.14594543355932768,0.0,0.06790830351932359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712655290309285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627333354345073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645512079186618,0.0687360575370576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983802332457317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166059038014778,0.0,0.0,0.3534183711184893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165649774796885,0.06723927965111498,0.0,0.07172372168295682,0.0,0.07523319161006678,0.0,0.1210556430037301,0.05701281409530073,0.15325091552119693,0.08742263943056522,0.0,0.0678822186183435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090710210103016,0.20081031691165427,0.0,0.0,0.08791436847893046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994620251738446,0.0,0.16047512662957095,0.0,0.08005107094533732,0.0,0.0785919958337156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329584109472532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310478150465846,0.13157646773294387,0.06505184754847175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160617139291143,0.11273747312913927,0.15595505794044895,0.07998572444745865,0.07046940829909296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981166913385905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039529127243364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482024319153632,0.05866596670842441,0.05917450646877901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489172579846033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069541165699342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642119896313473,0.0,0.11065368324774033,0.06968277751677608,0.08337939461181564,0.0,0.07544166071693459,0.0,0.2292938164928577,0.08119052658025769,0.0,0.15272549855116313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051125221711488214,0.0,0.07879795646331461,0.0,0.0,0.06815316084408958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901571022691878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986278290938062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933533009771437,0.05648649492365933,0.0,0.06373249474888977,0.0,0.0,0.16685933771402478,0.0,0.08729387965277799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001061958902267,0.0,0.0,0.07347385865766484,0.0,0.0,0.05301899461646117,0.10227183364584044,0.0,0.06335637365528259,0.04653502391620699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418245734201623,0.0,0.07795803402640025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658476054543191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909959838954587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139189917448424
mentalhealth,arabianblonde,2019/01/17,"Can someone help me identify some symptoms? No one I've met seems to understand what this is. It started when I was a child, exactly when my childhood abuse ramped up considerably. I'd be doing my thing, and suddenly, I'm hit by this... psychological asteroid. I feel like the ground dropped beneath my feet, I'm in a void. The closest I can describe is this: like being punched in the chest, but mentally. When you're hit with so much physical force that you can't even register the pain, you can't even scream, the wind is knocked out of you, and you're just clawing for breath? It's like that, but mentally.  It goes away after a minute or two but it's the most excruciating minutes of my life. 

I know what it's like to feel suicidal. Joy slowly seeps away from life, everything seems dull and tedious, and the thought of going on is simply exhausting. It's hard to hang onto any memory that still evokes joy in those moments, usually after devastating fights that have killed my self worth. (Is there a name for this feeling btw?) It's similar to how I'd feel every time my mother visited: like walking in a nuclear wasteland, everything turned to white concrete dust, I'm just a husk, a corpse that's already dead, and I just want to lie down and rest. 

But this... mental punch thing I just described, it's different. The nuclear wasteland feeling, or the joy seeping out of life feeling, I can feel that it's bad. But this feeling... I'm not numb, so I know how terrible it is, but it's too much pain to process so I'm gasping for breath. My therapist told me it might be something like dissociation but I'm not sure what that even means. Is this common? 

Also, if I have these kinds of feelings, it feels like depressive states - but I was prescribed Lexapro to help with anxiety attacks (it's diarrhea, cold sweat, shaking, feeling sick, etc. right?) when my mom calls. Wouldn't the lexapro make it worse? 

Thanks for reading my barrage of questions. I'd appreciate any insight.
",3.843289473684212,5.8459712631579,4.474407894736842,84.1339802631579,73.21052631578948,8.013157894736839,30.296052631578952,8.751876143730069,2.4708684210526317,1560,70,303,31,32,497,196,380,0.207,0.649,0.14400000000000002,-0.9902,1,0,1,0,2,0,68.0,0,3,0,0,20,26,3,1,17,0,22,14,5,3,2,59,56,27,3,3,17,2,12,7,0,2,9,1,0,2,36,10,0,0,21,1,1,5,6,13,0,2,5,15,24,13,37,44,6,37,0,2,1,0,16,16,0,9,21,184,60,2,0.0,0.10644728759753452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914214403943684,0.07184608083669372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219037326278645,0.0,0.06872837316440794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220748520104972,0.1688177778429994,0.0,0.07501375964432007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917380449564916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738020770820284,0.0,0.0,0.09386507031143136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019683379617622,0.17801805765222295,0.0,0.07569519713504269,0.0,0.161487192611836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4996912464422985,0.12836533123375804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105889943747397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048018694249705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043750229057155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939612288878606,0.09355592224515244,0.0987488931574499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037276939823528,0.3072435576862057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996978681873336,0.0,0.0,0.09786354856647968,0.0,0.0,0.2716167956070252,0.09530745587014992,0.0,0.10522108235170892,0.0,0.0,0.13208743276708798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06087881175570741,0.0,0.19119502331876928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064285312791477,0.0,0.08986564445927693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672400674482968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16357634911315427,0.09372410306647956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612226915818966,0.06916424671547962,0.0,0.0,0.0635901572845461,0.0,0.07174740388292201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982718354998045,0.0,0.08467439229355747,0.09337954370320453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271382805142799,0.0,0.1043127111100946,0.11937317800602723,0.0,0.0,0.07132398232821516,0.05238720324337688,0.0,0.0,0.08584724290530105,0.0,0.0,0.09772157075739107,0.08776192702401865,0.0935279951605108,0.0,0.0,0.09894753464115556,0.0,0.05299074539237024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091555992788876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LargerFries,2019/01/17,"100% CBD oil? Hi there. I won’t make this long. About 2 years ago I smoked a joint and had a completely horrific experience. It induced OCD intrusive thoughts, Depersonalization, major anxiety and depression and I had a full blown psychotic episode for about a week or more where I didn’t leave my darkened room for about a week. These mental dilemmas continued for over a year and now I’m pretty much over the intrusive thoughts except for the occasional episode. Anyway I’ve heard how weed can worsen underlying physiological problems like psychosis and schizophrenia and become permanent so I never tried to smoke again. However recently there’s so much talk about this 100% CBD oil and how it doesn’t make you react negatively mentally. It just calms you, and I’m wondering if it would be safe to try it? Anyway any honest advice/opinions would be appreciated! Thanks!  ",5.5175824175824175,8.229404897435899,5.9262271062271115,72.42115384615389,70.53846153846153,9.585347985347983,31.014652014652015,9.957137785484203,3.5937267399267387,708,31,117,20,14,227,103,156,0.108,0.76,0.132,0.5841,1,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,0,16,7,0,0,8,0,10,0,0,6,1,26,19,14,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,8,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,6,3,8,5,14,8,5,17,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,3,12,76,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15476411557695438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872765854143545,0.0,0.13356140264213967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928217040627193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830550203946194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037470847047235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707831995581836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848663354971326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529619392138961,0.0,0.0,0.15450726968765202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23308128724362265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518927097319444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25668849675184313,0.0,0.13465510599234834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776215017640219,0.0,0.16705971467927905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723872470406329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032938604726655,0.0,0.16073965356378514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27721101731861897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23707124088770584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800922463346545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933615954675365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480484388035131,0.0,0.0,0.22486136485033534
mentalhealth,unspokencoiler,2019/01/17,"Navigating the work place with anxiety/depression? Help! I just looked through some of the top threads on here and see some discussion on this, but just looking for some advice.  I've had some real issues with anxiety/panic attacks/depression for the last year and a half and it's resulted in me taking more mental health days off from work then I'd like.  The thing is, I tell work it's actually a physical sickness (I can't come in, I have a nasty cold), because when I tried to be more honest (my dog kept me up all night and I didn't sleep at all, going to sleep in and then work from home), didn't go well.  I just had another meeting with my boss where he mentioned me working from home/calling in sick as a potential issue.  Any advice as to how to approach this?  I feel terrible and don't know how to articulate that some days I physically cannot get up to go to work because my brain randomly decided it was going to be a bad day.  I'm so frustrated and don't know what to do.  ",3.360149253731344,4.5744983482587065,4.8996815920398005,83.80116417910448,72.98009950248756,8.743084577114429,27.827860696517412,9.21078282632365,2.221549651741294,772,29,163,17,15,260,117,201,0.135,0.809,0.057,-0.9627,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,7,10,6,1,0,9,0,14,6,3,4,2,33,29,16,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,8,11,0,1,4,0,0,6,6,3,1,1,6,5,15,3,31,21,9,28,0,0,3,0,6,13,0,6,10,107,23,7,0.0,0.0,0.1172542815221808,0.0,0.0,0.2348288198476884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170975310380273,0.12599335299674005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032469197460277,0.14649116291634587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413309982596902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350318815791083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324707668469585,0.0,0.20697924061040035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060754151358883124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627762071517307,0.0,0.2731482001656831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277195102064791,0.0,0.0,0.08053759321478697,0.0,0.2410512105001429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508219201617138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206846764951155,0.09794264093941653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058701830993984336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20180045136425265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108832425592984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275764925425487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553675900021125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367630849523807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574825129249064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404842342129543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034186393426392,0.0,0.10502106527955246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982587041543461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081577590255375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803408285385156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5248471216669104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737610102911609
mentalhealth,mormirhea,2019/01/17,"What opportunities have you passed up as a result of succumbing to what your mind is telling you? (My personal example): getting a 2nd audition for a very respectable modeling company and not showing up because I told myself I was, essentially, not good enough. They called and left a VM after the audition to see why I hadn’t showed up and if I was interested in rescheduling the audition. I was still too anxious about not showing up to return the call at that point. 

I haven’t gotten another major opportunity like that since. ",8.90659793814433,8.436312237113405,9.250226804123713,63.29657731958764,60.649484536082475,13.120824742268045,41.049484536082474,12.340626583579946,5.376411958762887,425,21,71,13,5,142,68,97,0.046,0.8109999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.8551,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,1,2,3,6,0,0,7,0,7,0,0,1,0,9,11,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,3,3,1,5,0,0,0,6,1,12,6,14,5,2,12,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,1,4,54,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24588720000218325,0.0,0.26491125317684616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429452467841535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4788887849272591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422947842847369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251333452246073,0.0,0.0,0.19668227780536746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547782048046767,0.0,0.0,0.114561828182203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367718959645629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047509453187177,0.0,0.0,0.2216724404317485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686120224155872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19397569834746228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18726705525212148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049579209428914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22406887929524028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19348194696314916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115941854627275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GoulishBeet,2019/01/17,"See me, a poem Do you see me standing here
Screaming
Shouting
Crying

Do you see me here
Small
Looming
Hurt

Do you see me here
Begging
Soliciting
Asking

Do you see me here
In my rage 
In my frustration
In my agony

Do you see me standing here
On the precipice
On the edge
On a dime

Can you see me
Underneath 
All
Of 
My 
Behaviours

My behaviours
Which have gotten me this far
My behaviours
Which have helped me survive


",0.2582113821138208,2.449703682926831,1.7956585365853677,91.92535772357726,103.6341463414634,5.1134959349593485,22.53983739837399,6.742157984588678,1.0771973983739844,330,14,65,6,15,106,39,82,0.21600000000000005,0.784,0.0,-0.959,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,6,0,1,5,4,2,0,4,0,8,0,0,0,1,1,17,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,9,21,0,8,16,1,11,0,1,7,0,8,9,0,0,0,50,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849498142059698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862293410189128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136376310887732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149374923759676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9456978805074896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,someone52207,2019/01/17,"Having a LMSW as a therapist So I'm a graduate student and I scheduled a therapy appointment at the university health center. They assigned me to a woman who is a LMSW- after a little research I see this means she has a masters degree, but I suppose not enough clinical hours to qualify as a LCSW. 
I also looked her up and she's only 24 or 25, whereas I'm 26. 
I guess I'm looking for input from people who have worked with less experienced therapists. My gut instinct is to cancel the appointment because I'm not sure I can really trust the advice of someone so young. However, perhaps since they were more recently in school they're more up to date on the more innovative and recent methods. ",4.06969696969697,5.961101370370368,6.2408080808080815,72.17818181818181,72.33333333333333,9.057239057239057,31.531986531986533,9.573946990214177,3.4531481481481494,555,26,92,14,11,195,95,135,0.04,0.8859999999999999,0.07400000000000001,0.738,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,2,3,2,0,0,13,0,7,3,1,0,1,11,16,10,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,13,2,16,15,5,14,0,0,3,0,8,7,0,2,7,67,16,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18497619994195424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137858396788012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153920488078036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955916142932572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852901357076287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012109899608193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864167558649976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189722618809106,0.0,0.0,0.317919075385568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061969871082992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396684569414314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123283380664322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121266776256696,0.0,0.3738105708312044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19157593836046427,0.15084304973009527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658620174364205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038844679337516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840763830771225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21647453013851944,0.4395705461955256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780850547416776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mamawithsomedrama,2019/01/17,"I (F19) am looking for a way to make my family happy, especially my boyfriend (M20). Even death seems like to much trouble at this point. Help me. I (F19) have post part in depression and severe anxiety/PTSD.


We now have an 1 year old girl who is the light of my life.


I feel as though with all my breakdowns and attitude switches, I should leave my boyfriend (M20) before I make him completely resentful of me...


I blame him all the time for shit he doesn’t do, and I know it’s wrong. I’m trying my best to distance myself from him so that he doesn’t have to see this shit.


I just... I want to die, but I have a family to take care of. It would just be one more big problem for everyone around me.


And believe me, I’m trying. I’m doing therapy, I’m taking medications... I’m trying.


I’m just so lost onto whether or not I should just leave him now so that his last taste of me isn’t sour.


I want whatever is best for them. They are my life and I’m the only reason they’re unhappy.

Tl:dr I wanna my family to be happy and I’m the one that’s making them unhappy.",0.9459428571428568,2.683578146666669,3.2205714285714286,91.056,80.86666666666667,6.9523809523809526,20.49206349206349,7.957251820313856,0.742339682539682,813,22,188,15,21,279,122,225,0.168,0.7190000000000001,0.113,-0.836,0,0,0,0,0,1,40.0,1,0,3,3,12,14,3,0,7,0,18,6,2,4,2,33,40,14,2,7,8,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,8,9,1,0,4,0,0,0,4,8,0,2,1,6,36,6,23,34,7,14,0,2,2,0,14,6,2,2,7,122,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577178944690144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110400793759927,0.133865398869642,0.24938096967584675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114124182767035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245767382475348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233639402946428,0.0,0.12331266789906466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847711377288265,0.0,0.0,0.11353416508558578,0.0,0.0,0.33602859182974704,0.0,0.060077143524662875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529645413170001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964013056678503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652983879175023,0.0968512268757336,0.0,0.2516188306484073,0.0,0.0,0.16784707889028588,0.05804769298732795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997758540674547,0.0,0.1297021397679652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379326154132678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196950261707068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734372759095188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124677828157126,0.0,0.1610261396912022,0.0903652287558375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866658616290305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231990594169686,0.0,0.11379327044121902,0.0,0.0,0.11369125141962028,0.1388900171287033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216305140127627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468129019126496,0.10816599110117422,0.0,0.1342287159457773,0.24392666102952704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867029674411747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358769120866802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673651294483245,0.0,0.06928280024050038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24200561551182204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401619861460712,0.09431093046406104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440376387088477,0.12990708485970245,0.0,0.07651386815438314
mentalhealth,smokez099090,2019/01/17,"I'm really not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'm in need of mental advice or help? I feel I am losing my sanity  I'll try and streamline this a relationship to some key points. I loved my girlfriend, more than I should have. I supported her in every which way I could (She has depression and dyslexia, I myself have ADHD and severe abandonment issues), she was the moon and stars and the entire universe to me. One night she was having a break down which she usually did (Because I didn't show her enough attention or any of the slew of excuses she had), she had been cutting herself in the bathroom as usual and would only talk to me until I apologised to her for her cutting herself or she would threaten me with suicide, grab my pills and try to O/D. One night I chose not to engage, I sat and played my favorite game to ignore the abuse, in an emotional frenzy she came up behind me and pulled me off my chair by my hair, I retaliated out of sheer panic and struck her on the nose once. She went into uncontrollable tears. Fast forward a few months later. She has told everyone; her therapist, family, friends, teachers you name it, that I beat her. I am not an abusive person, I have never had to ever raise a hand to any previous lovers, I know in my heart it is wrong to abuse people. She absolutely could not see that ever and still does not to this day. The next time I came over I wasnt comfortable with her friends as they all hated me, I wanted to leave, she refused to let me go and held onto my belongings so I couldnt get them, I tried to pry her away from them and she started to hit me hard, she pushed me onto the bed and tried to attack me, I then hit her a couple times to get her to just get off me on the side of the leg. She eventually let go. This wasn't the end of it, we paused for a few moments I tried to gain my breath again and retreat to the other end of the room away from her, she came at me flailing her around around and narrowly missing my face, ripping my shirt to pieces and I had to get out of there I was so damn scared I didn't even want to be in this situation, when she missed my face by a hair I had enough and hit her in the face causing her nose to bleed over her jumper. I was mortified, I had never had someone I loved so much try her best to start a fight with me. I'm a big guy and she's 6ft but she legitimately scared me to the point violence was my only option, I still feel immense regret to this day and guilt. As she put it in her email, '' I picked up a blood stained hoodie today and thought ""the man I love more than anything did this to me.. Should I really be with a man who does this to me though? Who doesn't even care if I don't talk to him anymore? Who is blaming me for stuff I didn't do? ''. The day before christmas she told me she wanted to end it and she didn't want to date for a while. I check her twitter, she had been sending flirtatious stuff with the guy she told me not to worry about for about a month and a half. Now here I am a month down the line almost, my confidence completely shattered, overweight, riddled with guilt and generally defeated with life. I'm trying to seek help but they have put me on a waiting list. I honestly loved her more than anything in the world, but after 1 year and 3 months she decided it was better to find something new. I don't blame her, but she put almost all the blame of the relationship on me and even all of her self mutilation to this day she still blames me for it and said that I wouldn't have done that if you just hugged me.. I don't know, I don't know what I'm going to do with my fucked up brain anymore. Any advice is helpful, I'm so scared to even talk to girls again after this as she threatened me on multiple occassions to get me arrested, I'm scared to even talk to other women and that it will happen again, I'm alone and depressed as hell ",4.800095350669822,4.470142319753087,5.6117704229051775,85.52466903073291,69.01234567901234,8.819542947202521,27.23404255319149,8.332992426153591,1.5021245074862088,3029,81,677,39,47,994,327,810,0.2,0.688,0.113,-0.9978,0,1,1,0,4,1,73.0,1,2,4,6,29,43,8,8,41,0,60,25,14,2,8,109,115,54,1,17,19,0,7,0,4,6,4,1,2,8,34,46,1,5,9,3,1,14,21,26,0,3,36,11,145,17,118,63,14,102,1,8,1,7,100,42,3,10,45,489,179,0,0.0,0.2018702896915364,0.0,0.0,0.06825382326579665,0.11099439416827507,0.0,0.0,0.1137394279811493,0.05882013902880653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586300884122755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264625220041115,0.0,0.0,0.09347115315152243,0.10111513840615524,0.0,0.06460992763601181,0.10671727602585104,0.0,0.0,0.034620320217620744,0.0,0.048326429048264785,0.0,0.0596004648226483,0.050228553226017984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339946758984978,0.0,0.19486725525545,0.0579039718347946,0.05834177653936466,0.0,0.0,0.05954609540009001,0.0,0.0,0.0906887450259986,0.0628400739702462,0.0,0.14650644638222549,0.0,0.09783098783131396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939939901769658,0.058118679362121624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388417557184235,0.1509045016683501,0.11736414057423335,0.0,0.18755530804468867,0.102744548910067,0.04785032328765807,0.054267885966982614,0.0,0.0,0.05353913009156287,0.0,0.05743222001167246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05190752504453895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775584245687999,0.052503962435930286,0.1483592832751077,0.0,0.09682984934049772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124674604890065,0.05022162233156868,0.0,0.05087512958819999,0.0560710616480413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729965682587635,0.1142009065042907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059276853434195136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363539512525212,0.0,0.0,0.0601352993545151,0.0,0.11614882561741112,0.04011438376387727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353653627522313,0.0,0.0,0.20503061955577748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057233712626737786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813256565062845,0.0,0.04174919016900183,0.042111088631684016,0.08760410689905654,0.05485077117043948,0.06039971115528193,0.10659225707417423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060482402434560226,0.0769684454003618,0.08638685854263065,0.0,0.06663403032380079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0393729271331262,0.0495892200074216,0.05933631366079688,0.0,0.10737497110004432,0.0,0.05439173502935374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712771354705432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276575239179679,0.0,0.0,0.12194827284134828,0.0,0.04850067990595091,0.054022890293396214,0.0,0.22743771556214065,0.0,0.04525645170714072,0.0,0.05924720195359199,0.06415961789958813,0.0,0.0,0.0638374064575882,0.0,0.0,0.04812029463522242,0.04372181711051933,0.0,0.0,0.08039637121362098,0.0,0.1360642392432045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002817338933328,0.06212202724497926,0.06444771538003184,0.053526474582057684,0.0,0.0,0.18259137588235644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594073519255512,0.0,0.0,0.05579856748757338,0.04508708269138431,0.06623259351210141,0.0,0.053832866104186805,0.16280365790094786,0.0,0.2699097431815749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509833385199412,0.0,0.13399129108576108,0.04507942447108791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526474283852426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057675772668136685,0.0,0.08068784985517681,0.062093933241637936,0.0,0.036572655189428725
mentalhealth,alaskafaults,2019/01/17,"Feeling myself getting bad again December ‘17-Aug ‘18 I had one of the worst period of depression that I had in a year and a half. Since then I had been feeling better, even feeling quite confident. However in the past few weeks, somewhere around the end of December, start of January, I’ve been starting to feel myself slipping again. However I’ve been in denial about it because I’m scared that as soon as I admit it, I’ll go down the rabbit hole again that was so difficult to get out of the last time.",4.671731601731602,5.86413983838384,5.539855699855703,80.5345454545455,69.8080808080808,9.293506493506491,30.304473304473305,9.606745405546679,2.8346352092352087,400,16,76,9,7,131,64,99,0.161,0.721,0.117,-0.8293,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,8,6,0,1,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,8,18,5,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,5,0,2,7,4,6,1,16,11,2,21,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,14,53,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20772188170916867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19482897588403644,0.14224176862799787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20637007981393346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200975216986404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666979273353409,0.0,0.0,0.15411872890919734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.471934430377375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438208163619781,0.0,0.13261237850677826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19020307019168375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811707883514414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227492300371286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24818558628048995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336138336597809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930210834184432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33031820505455783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360623065119069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717110262717468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026317275131726
mentalhealth,iowa-city,2019/01/17,"University Student Discusses Her Experience with Depression and Anxiety While Attending School  

#### “My name is Claire. I am a student at the University of Iowa, I have Major Depression and Anxiety, and I am not ashamed.”

“I remember when I first felt something was wrong. In my sophomore year of college at the University of Iowa, I developed major depression and anxiety. I say developed because this was the time when I began thinking something was off with my brain and my life.

I was sleeping every moment I could. I wasn’t enjoying any of my favorite things anymore. I felt worthless and numb. I remember when, at my lowest points, I felt lost and unsure of where to turn. At some points, it felt like I couldn’t keep living like this. I remember that I would watch YouTube videos, but if you had asked me what I had just watched, I would shrug. It wasn’t anything more than noise to me, something to fill the empty spaces around me.

​

[To continue reading please click here](https://ecriowa.org/claire-dietz/)",6.187362637362639,8.285660263736267,5.9481318681318704,75.57186813186816,67.24175824175825,9.815384615384616,34.42857142857143,10.125756701596842,3.885028571428572,816,39,135,21,14,254,102,182,0.13699999999999998,0.7929999999999999,0.071,-0.7596,1,0,3,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,0,2,6,11,0,1,5,0,16,4,2,0,0,29,26,13,0,5,4,0,4,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,7,10,0,1,8,2,0,2,4,8,0,1,14,8,30,3,19,8,4,23,0,5,3,0,6,11,0,2,12,96,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528218649303804,0.14049988750154938,0.07863056370650713,0.0,0.26536382107252765,0.0,0.11467126218966213,0.0,0.0,0.09515145777898476,0.10293285680634368,0.10809596463403437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048535995146686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907836396982436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231903108525916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29876900394127714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742103017891802,0.0,0.0,0.1131057364209224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4440815589757668,0.0,0.0,0.09835256568695104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277490231903012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167101751384331,0.1129793662648158,0.0,0.10210106931867753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622091249495676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269241091492123,0.21861044150345255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565864139697372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929497454125304,0.0,0.0,0.09195151045220633,0.0,0.1170210522552414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571085568371545,0.0,0.0,0.2670467515085522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681767415395722,0.07408933768893737,0.0,0.0,0.0674232382149308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576935465142972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16427670527025842,0.12642035682591934,0.14049988750154938,0.0744602230483045
mentalhealth,jimbobsherwin2,2019/01/17,Advice please I’m going into my 4th semester here and I still don’t have any friends and it’s definitely harming me mentally. The last few semesters I’ve struggled to cope with my mental state and my grades have also suffered significantly. It just feels like people are so negative to others and don’t respect me. Does anyone else feel like this? MI just wish someone would care to ask how I was doing once and a while or ask me to hang out instead of me asking and getting rejected or ghosted. Everyone tells me I have to put myself out there but it seems even when I do it doesn’t go well and it makes me want to go into that hole.,3.494883720930228,4.96921,4.6254961240310095,84.87638372093025,73.03100775193798,7.330542635658915,26.078294573643408,7.908726449838941,1.4555234108527135,506,17,102,7,10,166,88,129,0.083,0.773,0.14400000000000002,0.6161,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,12,10,0,1,2,0,11,0,0,2,0,25,26,15,1,3,5,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,0,3,0,0,5,4,4,1,0,1,2,14,6,12,24,1,14,0,2,0,0,5,4,0,3,6,72,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620171501793054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783046921814106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108702190615138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176950939725844,0.16378327021784558,0.0,0.0,0.4483091916866273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297579305189924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988415103898666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353257775191166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557816364268346,0.0,0.0,0.1527417113622668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164800628596948,0.2283910316590695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234982468918773,0.0,0.08351403567740359,0.0,0.27253607977684097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029753756838836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618741655134755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669984915913966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32217857977894543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702330114863275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081854700060484,0.0,0.0,0.17546521423771105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069149260094895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551970835857786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354387778862846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127654900541955,0.0,0.0,0.16710794269316884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397142865199952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428255193380228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372264045874894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381742826840672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355150521728162,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,caiolomellino,2019/01/17,"Therapy without parental consent in Italy  I've got a friend that lives in Italy(I'm from Brazil) and his parents do not approve of therapists for stigma reasons and I don't know how to help him get the care he needs, since I am too far away to give more than my support. I tried searching for something but I don't know how to fit about that, all that I found was that in Italy a persons ",6.8080379746835495,5.625081924050633,6.003639240506331,87.19634493670891,65.20253164556962,8.912658227848102,36.20569620253164,7.1686216300943375,2.278086075949367,308,13,67,2,4,93,58,79,0.018000000000000002,0.833,0.149,0.838,2,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,3,1,13,14,5,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,8,3,14,11,2,6,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,0,43,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075112392297456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21785202655703895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342794396443356,0.16508183735648022,0.0,0.11163438187710176,0.20497288282366685,0.0,0.0,0.17089237608553678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321929986422155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348562046106789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886755822615245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843448572249375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47451315766618796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186569448203345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196895781869133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176751022805833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449452706730106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424715431018928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24435163627020545,0.2480887293076335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506871753450934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20597140976794756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,M00nB3gl3,2019/01/17,"Advice needed/Conflicting mental health issues Hi, 

So backstory, I have severe PTSD driven anxiety that can be triggered by even seemingly small things. I also have depression which isn’t as bad, but lately has been a lot worse. On top of that I have chronic pain that really disrupts my sleeping. 

Problem: I’m am STRUGGLING to get out of bed in the morning. I set several alarms, but I just can’t get out of bed. I have thought about using those apps that force you to do puzzles or math equations before it turns off, but those have loud noises and scare people awake. If I set my phone too far away, I have to use a way louder sound that scares me awake or it doesn’t wake me. I can’t do that or I’m anxious all day. I also can’t have my boyfriend wake me up because my anxiety causes excessive irritability and that would be directed at him every morning. I’m at the end of my rope. I’m exhausted, I’m showing up late to work everyday, and I’m so frustrated with myself because no matter how much I say “I’m going to get out of bed in the morning” I just physically can’t remove myself until it is so late that I panic about being late to work and jump out of bed. Every. Morning. I need help, ideas, solutions, anything. Once I’m out of bed, I’m fine, but getting out of bed is quite literally the hardest thing for me to do each day. It feels impossible to move my body. 

TIA 
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mentalhealth,Balintka47,2019/01/17,"Do you guys too just get random episodes of extreme anxiety every few weeks? In the recent years , I've become fairly decent at dealing with my anxiety, and while it still affects my life, I no longer feel like it prevents me from living my normal life. However, at seemingly random times every few weeks (or if I'm lucky, months) I just snap back l, and for some time (from a few hours to a few days) I become extremely self aware and anxious. Just today, I was having a conversation, and an uncomfortable topic came up, and boom, suddenly I feel super anxious all day. I feel like I have sensory overload, I feel disconnected from reality. I often tend to start shaking and hyperventilating, sometimes almost having a complete mental breakdown. However, as I said, the strangest part about all this is how it just randomly comes and goes. Like, despite this happenig today, now I feel comfortable again, like nothing happened. Is this normal? ",7.070575578267884,8.263033970414199,7.2988596019365275,70.09771382463693,64.32544378698225,9.69575040344271,34.298547606239914,9.800150414767053,3.5839183431952666,747,32,118,15,11,242,111,169,0.094,0.7809999999999999,0.124,0.8053,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,1,12,8,0,1,7,0,7,2,0,2,2,36,21,12,0,3,6,0,5,4,0,0,2,2,0,2,6,10,0,1,6,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,7,16,7,14,18,8,26,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,10,23,80,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706068232864473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941389832452244,0.28669617820191257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756956127488538,0.0,0.0,0.28027715218481164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512684449448354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093033609008503,0.13304036508423378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636654005852375,0.13081665570819825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21381836833516446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32079364174142777,0.18129859432322346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629409729701857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256397409689053,0.11220723920219132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495978838977985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17925045211502566,0.24796559537420534,0.0,0.1120450276849947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278739432338297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128133246457163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24864792751706144,0.1217531090764406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740807343375264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528726189924222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070019031891177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551468715776053,0.1323725649039499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549614741607595,0.0,0.08981245962343612,0.0,0.10133346243330167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797961750674765,0.0,0.24055126073038405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203564887918916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171214864399053
mentalhealth,MHR1234,2019/01/17,"Research for a Dissertation Hi, I am a third year Psychology and Counselling student at the University of Teesside, Middlesbrough, currently writing my dissertation. I aim to assess why people with Mental Health problems use self-help blogs and forums such as this one. 

I will be using this Subreddit to collect data for my dissertation, and I am hoping to recruit people who use this thread to be participants. Participation is completely optional, and if you wish to take part please email me on [S6015890@tees.ac.uk](mailto:S6015890@tees.ac.uk) to receive the information sheet and consent form which will need to be completed and emailed back before you participate. 

To take part in this study, participants will be asked to write a narrative (as long or short as you wish) around why they use mental health self-help forums or blogs. It will need to include why they are used, how/if they have been helpful/unhelpful, whether they have been used as support (either for yourself or others) or sharing experiences etc. Any other information you feel relevant is also welcomed and encouraged. This response can either be emailed to [S6015890@live.tees.ac.uk](mailto:S6015890@live.tees.ac.uk) or posted as a response to this thread. 

All data will remain fully confidential, no personal details such as your name/age will be used; pseudonyms will be used to ensure confidentiality. Participants must be over 18 to take part and must not be currently experiencing any mental health problems (you must be in recovery/recovered). 

The data will be used for the purpose of this dissertation only and will not be published in any journals. There are no sponsors in relation to this research. 

Thank you for reading and I hope to hear from you soon!

Hannah Scott

S6015890@tees.ac.uk",11.819149425287357,12.108625144827588,9.690689655172417,60.01994252873564,54.44827586206897,12.560919540229886,42.0919540229885,11.855464076750405,5.355671264367817,1452,66,203,35,15,436,152,290,0.035,0.87,0.095,0.9436,2,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,0,8,4,0,7,9,0,0,8,0,35,3,0,9,4,50,58,24,0,12,11,0,1,0,0,12,3,1,0,1,13,12,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,2,0,2,2,3,20,7,39,32,8,17,0,0,0,0,28,9,0,9,6,152,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461971642710483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648504799094907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193356731832938,0.07554175207117003,0.0,0.0,0.062134044821565426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875908972669137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944497647032025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011891687619876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904277951044117,0.0,0.0,0.04085742777561443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25767575780819857,0.0910730895774496,0.0,0.1083237548182408,0.0,0.0,0.16051516310612246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270456239111914,0.07150986796286511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24429725469452016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983174336439333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05475554833693479,0.061455831464470825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26251176951152405,0.0,0.11204000307348648,0.070555795143928,0.0,0.08869960703588636,0.0,0.0,0.07738883801115536,0.0,0.0,0.15463891327288015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082685087161579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685944422301035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169653814210366,0.0,0.0,0.18226587475502007,0.0,0.0,0.07439437267890299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6281060560978499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21874178866303476,0.0,0.1858434872642777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203576033316636
mentalhealth,AlvaThe1,2019/01/17,I get bored instantly. And more... I don't know why this has just started. But I was a guy that can keep everything fun and interesting; until I felt lost because I started to believe that I will never be able to reach my dreams. So from the thought that I won't reach my dreams I just can't keep things running. I started to learn something and I couldn't even keep up for 2 minutes. I start to watch a movie but I close it on the second scene. I prefer to get bored while doing nothing to get bored while doing something. I noticed this and I am trying to push myself to go further on doing something but I can't and I can't think a better way to get rid of this permanent state of boredom.,1.8690865384615376,3.7000602569444467,3.234166666666667,91.60442307692308,78.375,5.541880341880343,24.27136752136752,6.297961479604792,0.5917143162393157,543,19,116,4,13,177,80,144,0.113,0.812,0.076,-0.7756,0,0,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,5,0,15,0,0,0,1,22,32,12,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,3,6,2,0,3,7,4,0,1,4,2,20,3,17,24,1,18,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,8,82,28,1,0.1592871769228392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709998460203872,0.0,0.0,0.17946210192789286,0.0,0.14087656365311954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052076780843911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315704372178856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294066941094955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328839024256137,0.0,0.0905265734196822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771934824789208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247452849581217,0.0,0.0,0.0875400667172361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17388076996633853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285209058586714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284034225638246,0.1813495066749526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678811525877049,0.0,0.0,0.4509771346903435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582332249774437,0.10206479123784842,0.0,0.12645622592641448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081455372457074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643474683355266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373190163738567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LitTrain,2019/01/17,". I'm just wondering whats the point of all of this if I'm just going to die anyways. Is it to impact others lives? Because they're going to die too. The universe, the earth, everything will ""die"" at some point. There's no proof of heaven, the afterlife, getting reborn. When I die will I just slip out of conciousness and me, my personality, my soul, and all of that just disappear? Will nothing that I did in life matter to me anymore because I just wont exist? What is the point of having fun with my family, or watching a movie, or going to disney world and all that if I'm just going to die anyways? I don't want to ever die, I love life too much. In my lifetime is there any chance of me being immortal? If the technology is there within my lifetime, what about my parents? I don't want to die, but I don't want to have to live forever without them. What is the point? Does anything end up mattering? Why do I have to die? Why does all of this that I love have to come to an end?",1.7837254901960795,3.493880901960786,3.753529411764706,88.33754901960786,78.21568627450979,6.690196078431374,23.098039215686285,7.594959193182576,0.9603745098039216,760,24,164,11,18,258,98,204,0.133,0.787,0.08,-0.8345,1,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,1,0,16,4,0,0,9,0,19,4,0,0,6,32,34,10,8,6,13,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,12,6,0,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,0,1,1,20,4,30,28,6,21,2,0,1,2,5,11,0,7,4,121,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155119649730517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976348456530006,0.0,0.0,0.07448358244791084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103504295543284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796798828056463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7514965064042897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841514911034993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033335794420447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187319640114804,0.0,0.0,0.0813462604199808,0.0,0.08532656495421431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0472887325561125,0.0,0.205759996850373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786246492884834,0.0,0.0,0.15984733375881482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16338104903095713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665366617023641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684861017407541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050275475138133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903150078747513,0.0,0.0,0.3422520100851855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16015879296005694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334582493860628,0.0,0.0,0.08725024268459541,0.09815629570627983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Deadmanjustice,2019/01/17,"Multiple side effects from zoloft, been on it a few days I stopped taking it today, been on it like 5 days.

-Greatly increased my anxiety
-Minor dizziness
-Things taste off
-Teeth grinding

It'll probably take me a few days to reach my psych, he's VERY VERY busy, should I be fine until then?

One site said the dizziness was a major side effect I might need to go to a hospital for?",2.8927428571428595,5.11391656,3.535238095238096,88.80000000000004,76.73333333333333,6.419047619047619,26.714285714285715,7.447530270364453,1.4512285714285706,302,12,59,4,7,95,56,75,0.054000000000000006,0.831,0.115,0.5088,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,5,0,7,3,1,2,0,6,12,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,2,6,3,9,4,4,15,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,8,35,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376087515010694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647489660334754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651753435785471,0.0,0.0,0.26483364505546936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735503619982562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548260739001273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17811352681878614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277329451064107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25898825173182816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284958150395928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008272804983453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612177859818971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595856168991719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276920866245667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963987176210315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,illiterate_idiot_,2019/01/17,"Some advice please I have an awesome counsellor who’s helped me through panic attacks but I get quite annoyed and a bit hurt every time she tells me to consider alternatives to my long term goal, and to think of more realistic ones. 

It’s something I’ve felt I wanted to achieve so it’s quite hard to just let go. It is possible, not a sure thing, but not without a sizeable downgrade in living conditions. 

I can’t see myself just ditching the possibility and be a menial worker for the rest of my life. I told her as much but her response was :it’s just the life we’re born into, and that menial workers get by too. And I find myself breaking into pieces every time she says this. 

How do I go from here ? ",2.11656941649899,4.346062809859156,3.655855130784712,86.91746478873242,79.35211267605635,6.02897384305835,24.227364185110666,7.1686216300943375,1.0453927565392354,557,20,111,7,14,184,97,142,0.127,0.843,0.031,-0.9219,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,6,7,5,2,1,8,0,7,2,0,1,1,23,16,11,0,1,9,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,3,4,17,1,16,11,7,11,0,1,1,0,9,3,0,1,5,79,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743098284869744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832814077817248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588609765953567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714776176311462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468708789474928,0.0,0.14724802538434614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834253986066147,0.0,0.18312057967726286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431939042763714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798599988107303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246737542668536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474186746718986,0.2275879573789172,0.0,0.0,0.1422596076294896,0.14257379844874374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843149540468866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916963958868713,0.0,0.0,0.18902325587978644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684608091549542,0.0,0.3632457649331095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34271226365871776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811800978343774,0.0,0.0,0.12838067590509375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402732032042453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184056032782473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408138024753601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703171139220237,0.1032302617346722,0.0,0.0,0.18788448500237315,0.0,0.0,0.15394374984290934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502453167507162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530049826938472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lookingforalaska44,2019/01/17,Going to residential tomorrow for a few months :( I mean its the second time but I still am scared,0.824561403508774,3.3563900526315784,3.027368421052632,84.63824561403509,95.84210526315788,6.7438596491228076,16.859649122807017,7.793537801064563,1.0044596491228073,77,2,15,2,3,26,18,19,0.279,0.721,0.0,-0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,3,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797622991585168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5362146785850115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39291666959722304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.492837425554169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931189056184245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28704035118890714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Godfodder,2019/01/17,"Truman Show Delusion re-triggered by Black Mirror's Bandersnatch I do not have schizophrenia and, to my knowledge, no one in my family has a history of it. I don't know if it's even related. I'm also not averse to seeking a counselor but I wanted to put it out here first. 

When I was a kid, long before the Truman Show came out, I believed my life was on display for someone's viewing. I believed others potentially had the ability to read my mind, and I believed everyone I knew and loved was in on it. I played along and didn't tell anyone about it because I thought my loose lips might anger the powers at be and who knows what would happen to me. I should point out this wasn't enough to keep me from picking my nose or jizzing to a Sears catalogue, I was living a very normal life and it never impeded my day-to-day activities. I did try to say the wittiest lines so I'd at least look clever to whoever was watching, even if I was alone. This habit has stirred many a pot in my marriage, but there's a good chance it'd happen even without this delusion.

This was a constant in my life until my early 20's when I began to travel more and realize the magnitude of such a conspiracy. The Truman Show helped as I realized I wasn't the only one who could imagine such a scenario - but I also worried 'they' used it to throw me off their trail. It took awhile before I was able to let go of the notion and stop living like I was on TV.  Eventually coincidences were just that and I didn't think anyone was reading my mind. I knew it was ludicrous, impossible, nonsensical. 

It's been several years since I've struggled with these thoughts. A few nights ago I watched Bandersnatch. The relevant plot point is (mild spoiler) the protagonist realizes the viewer is controlling his actions. It's not completely related to what I went through but it was enough that these delusions have popped up again. I wonder if my wife is really going to work or she's with a bunch of lab coats watching monitors as I type this. Are they watching my kids too, or will they one day be let in on the secret? And is everything in my life being choreographed to reach some epic conclusion? 

I know it's dumb. I know it's impossible. Yet even as I type this there's a nagging thought I'm pushing through, urging me to not tell anyone about this because they will deceive me and the charade will continue. 

I'd really like to put an end to this. My biggest fear is this getting out of hand; I'll end up so far down a rabbit hole I'll become a recluse or worse. I could easily become a conspiracy nut, though I also have enough rationale to recognize when we're placing patterns on things that don't actually connect to one another. 

Anyways, I feel foolish posting this. I know it's stupid. Yet I can't drop it, and the fact that I haven't thought about it for years and now I can't get it out of my mind again is troublesome.",4.28827417998318,5.383781200000001,5.307762825904124,82.20473927670314,70.6206896551724,8.624053826745165,30.008410428931874,8.979522561349006,2.3999751892346506,2296,92,458,43,41,756,272,580,0.115,0.8170000000000001,0.069,-0.9823,1,1,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,5,5,30,12,4,2,31,0,52,9,3,4,2,79,83,37,0,9,17,1,2,2,0,6,4,1,0,2,41,22,0,3,22,8,0,11,16,6,0,5,30,12,64,6,65,39,8,64,0,0,8,2,19,27,1,10,26,321,105,5,0.07597946023464043,0.0,0.07414499302010508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735120715970608,0.0,0.0,0.07869180659679753,0.0,0.18228224069705712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967108882719781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937981561951214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926327474863668,0.1678266888522779,0.12930584901601425,0.2568084996005768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690026134926772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966301848629641,0.08210680431589047,0.08521742531778725,0.12132683298482452,0.0,0.0,0.1470013986822784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459049973860476,0.2355212790370293,0.0,0.2007348676224969,0.0,0.0,0.07260163028243538,0.0682854396750171,0.0,0.07162667311042452,0.08549801631129653,0.038417498021977685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462809006145988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939226407205012,0.0,0.08636175639738873,0.06372796642374183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437677151894342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092743061699483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753403530186981,0.0,0.0,0.2087816215520588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538829171169222,0.21466615897325908,0.07423945279973443,0.0,0.13418251079085622,0.0672394313734779,0.06380361068105703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857442929794527,0.0,0.0,0.07703124723008611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060220037441497,0.2301527865827408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05860004371810144,0.0,0.0,0.071301576440419,0.07444373906306405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059425944755145,0.05778580327404855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793823645414305,0.0,0.1436502973072428,0.0,0.0727673202421026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276068640709062,0.0,0.0,0.15200004271126874,0.0,0.09734877558316296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060421916370819236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583516337161674,0.0,0.06285099465617232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437715009414302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352223089117875,0.0,0.07943022874670368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281879435069333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047737726879152,0.048684570202217343,0.07464943391174389,0.24127681775295676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441597596758578,0.05158506607656431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656218586910255,0.0,0.06269101190636747,0.04481465420632589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043372084315049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324148833283206,0.08239648355768747,0.05531395196182218,0.07716082999904401,0.07742956108598377,0.053973628593477374,0.0,0.0,0.09785656261330616
mentalhealth,medium_mermaid,2019/01/17,"Anxiety and depression with highs and lows? Currently taking zoloft for anxiety/depression. I have been noticing that I'm having highs and lows that last about 2 weeks. During my highs I stay caught up with my housework-laundry, dishes, tidying up; sleep well wake up at a normal time, overall happier/peaceful. During my lows I can't keep up with anything in my house, have trouble going to sleep(my mind goes through 100s of scenarios and I can't shut it off), wanting to sleep 12ish hours and just cranky. My zoloft was upped to 100mg in December and I was doing great but once the new year started I've been in a low phase. It seems like the meds are working anymore. I started off with 25mg in 2016 and have had to continuously up it at every follow up since then. I've described this to my provider but I'm at a loss.

Should I seek another provider? 
Could my issue be that zoloft isn't right for me?
Could I have another issue besides anxiety/depression? 

Any insight or discussion is appreciated!
",4.594999999999999,6.387068916666667,5.073875000000001,81.48362500000002,70.77083333333334,8.245000000000001,31.02916666666667,8.841846274778883,2.6205766666666674,800,35,148,15,15,255,113,192,0.091,0.845,0.064,0.4023,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,3,10,0,0,5,0,20,7,3,0,0,25,31,11,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,11,1,2,2,0,0,3,3,7,1,0,6,0,16,3,30,21,0,40,0,6,0,0,1,25,0,2,12,91,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664321556705129,0.2672011315428657,0.09746835356415287,0.0,0.1263565517135233,0.0,0.0,0.1048476302247532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345314427904765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292143155663914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734847775048667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241007801921118,0.0,0.0,0.14047005017180247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4038471975840744,0.0,0.0,0.12547325253776812,0.14701411249242488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26596601840058304,0.0,0.11324792290371752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385621091449893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224612367303424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152386341199988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864784852306088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305343797135172,0.0,0.0,0.12483481528083548,0.0,0.14505720730421165,0.0,0.13568756459618353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880750222873296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598934105391295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539492517259806,0.0,0.3825062471842276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803630043325389,0.1358021804303287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957965150334221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742938354694952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514975940397031,0.0,0.10220067158725127,0.0,0.11455695279611992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275604721785276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204790672524548
mentalhealth,ForwardPromise6,2019/01/17,"Extreme frustration when i want to search something on the internet I just want the results to be IMMEDIATELY IN FRONT OF ME! I feel so frustrated when :  
1- I MAKE TYPING MISTAKES AND HAVE TO CORRECT THEM  
2- WHEN IT TAKES TIME FOR THE SEARCH TO LOAD UP! UGH",0.5645777777777781,2.863277680000003,2.1526666666666685,89.52411111111114,102.2,5.4222222222222225,23.555555555555557,6.937597516519254,1.3204888888888884,204,9,40,4,9,66,38,50,0.258,0.6970000000000001,0.045,-0.9351,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,5,4,2,0,3,0,2,0,0,2,1,9,7,5,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,0,9,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668313852657516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3522575899688181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062650903470093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967802061569747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077181183834723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6225265505441678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kateweloveyou,2019/01/17,"Issues with mother Hi guys, I don't know if this is the right place to post this but me and my mother have had some issues for the last 5 years, she's constantly attacking me and telling me that I don't love her when I suggest that she get a job instead of trying to find a sugar daddy, she has no car and no job and refuses to get one, she rides her bike to the store to get food every day, that's one of out main problems, she hates when I suggest things and she always argues and says that she's not a ""slave"" to society, we barely have food in the house. She's obsessed with conspiracies and shit and tries to force her beliefs on me and when I ask her to change the subject because it makes me uncomfortable she gets mad and screams at me. I love my mom but she's messed up mentally. 

Now I'm not innocent here, I haven't been the best at all times but my mental health and anger through out the years has become so bad partially because of her that I'm violent and have gotten into physical fights with my mom, my anger issues are getting out of hands and they're all aimed at her, my younger brother hits me all the time and treats me like shit and she allows it. I've been to counseling twice but now she can't take me because we don't have a car or money and she keeps calling me crazy which makes me more angry, I used to honestly never be the angry type but over the years I've kinda grown spiteful of her, she's constantly brining the past up and things she didn't like, but I don't attack her anymore, and I'm actually trying to be a better person but shes always bringing up the past and it makes me feel worse. I don't know what to do. She's literally crazy.",6.010277777777778,4.735651340909094,6.5184848484848485,83.1588383838384,66.8409090909091,9.640404040404043,30.066919191919194,8.515128840125781,1.924944570707072,1320,37,292,16,18,432,165,352,0.271,0.6859999999999999,0.043,-0.9985,2,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,2,0,0,2,8,25,12,1,17,0,23,9,3,5,4,58,47,32,0,2,11,5,2,2,0,0,1,2,0,2,14,28,3,2,5,1,2,5,13,17,0,3,5,5,55,8,35,39,7,38,1,0,0,2,46,15,2,4,19,194,69,3,0.0,0.0,0.09404191718300743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037290096663742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557182216154574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009169438893667,0.21926654081356894,0.0,0.0,0.08046381122809207,0.17623633395956725,0.10643162087738442,0.0,0.0,0.10113297004575914,0.0852302542264465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840318318683668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194527115631012,0.0,0.0,0.20828058583922507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062149817528998015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119475789543995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048726893350458884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807921534001201,0.0,0.2330587481781396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25174325395143904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542013092182366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514410692868326,0.0,0.10243538611611278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119650246723034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017515514655479,0.1912620631975777,0.08565689868189216,0.0,0.0,0.105923397729682,0.0785533253740271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416172539137316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17395296804898744,0.0,0.19298049966504474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942338994137484,0.0,0.0,0.2257316350415589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432545656540816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060380495867344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839895930837148,0.0,0.08414540249856202,0.10068474549552173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229454377292348,0.0,0.0,0.0922117989935696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229831466454551,0.0,0.07663623157726115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978421026698772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724572439997205,0.0,0.08423046216544842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280461198894422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238668885627424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19628399629912133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323158650433833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820790419644687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18617478501749166
mentalhealth,skehhehshe,2019/01/17,"I’m stuck in a loop where I don’t take care of myself because I feel like nothing matters, and I feel like nothing matters because I don’t take care of myself. Any advice for breaking out of that? I’ve been doing a lot better than I used to, but I feel like the one thing I can NEVER break out of is this loop. I can break it for a couple days if I do a fancy face mask or a treat myself day, but then later nothing matters again. And I can’t just keep doing nice things for myself, because eventually the face masks and the treating myself lose meaning too. I know I should talk to a doctor about this, I’m just here to ask if there’s any coping mechanisms or healthy tips any of you have? Thank you so much in advance for your time. I hope you’re having a good day!",4.0574233128834365,4.027648760736199,5.028349693251536,88.04387423312885,70.59509202453987,7.0107975460122685,26.1159509202454,5.6839178017228535,0.712813987730061,600,16,132,2,10,197,91,163,0.051,0.73,0.219,0.9819,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,3,9,13,0,0,10,0,13,3,2,1,1,27,30,11,0,4,8,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,2,3,21,12,18,27,2,17,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,6,11,90,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358213127204796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835578512677352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993869905663372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541845851222966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229270736838378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834230872744157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537919352062268,0.0,0.2689149035690754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422641376529548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108354995643464,0.2978876038264872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657984277097758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805035560482384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354242036897177,0.0,0.0,0.0763863339123936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20371331976722465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549642533351893,0.0,0.11816597488788926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140296685111548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217506670064816,0.0,0.10719915080302286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40009953807523774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418453400883282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090092785225478,0.11171645446427672,0.0,0.12796510192037575,0.0,0.0,0.18468013450668372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104731651633945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004440746894735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hobojoe155,2019/01/17,"Really need help, psychosis or derealization I’ve had either of these for two years now and I’m scared to say anything because i don’t want my parents thinking I’m crazy ",3.4922549019607843,5.626768029411769,4.794705882352943,80.87284313725492,74.58823529411767,6.886274509803924,28.98039215686275,7.793537801064563,1.9464039215686282,139,6,26,2,3,46,30,34,0.153,0.723,0.124,-0.2551,1,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,7,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,2,0,3,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301424304339025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22328612808861328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455155245750183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271598352385527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067201380421848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346538536744889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912873929410291,0.36671878372273337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23470294195281785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578107340524482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21604650387452448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358778463005413
mentalhealth,Ashterothi,2019/01/17,"Three Voices Podcast Episode 4 Kevin Fitts Part 1: Getting Involved and Connected Three Voices Podcast is a Podcast about diverse mental and spiritual experiences and the ways we live with them.


[Episode 4 Kevin Fitts Part 1: Getting Involved and Connected](https://threevoicespodcast.podbean.com/e/episode-4-kevin-fits-part-1-getting-involved-and-connected/)

January 17, 2019

I talk to Kevin Fitts about how he is involved and how others can get involved and connected in the mental health and peer community. lonefir@gmail.com https://twitter.com/KevinFitts ",12.472857142857144,16.856644278481017,8.229150090415914,56.16481012658227,55.58227848101266,9.577576853526224,42.931283905967454,9.957137785484203,5.4133638336347225,474,25,52,10,7,130,49,79,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,2,0,11,6,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,5,6,2,2,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,0,28,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21237129161331228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402867155389524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307734868050683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917085432839008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.437583494561602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7053138047542241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450154958601766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17232860832855587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hopefull321,2019/01/17,"What's wrong with me? I'm a 23 year old female, I have a 6 year old daughter, and currently I'm not in school. I was in school about two years ago but I feel like I got way too anxious to keep going to school, I hated presentation days, I would always just drop classes before that. I found out as well I have an addictive personality with weed, and alcohol. I feel bored without one or the other. I lack energy so bad , I could be making my bed and then just sit and stare off a wall or out the window for a solid 30 mins. I don't know how to organize/discipline myself. I've been meaning to register again to classes, and ""suck it up"" . It could just be my excuses to not want to do anything or maybe I might have some undiagnosed mental illness, idk. I have no motivation whatsoever. I got asked what brings me joy, and idk how to answer that. I mean as long as I'm here it's all good, no? ",1.1586021505376358,3.0850371182795726,3.5389247311827963,88.09505376344086,81.04301075268816,6.929032258064518,21.086021505376344,7.984000788550335,0.9099376344086021,688,20,153,13,18,238,116,186,0.208,0.679,0.113,-0.9523,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,11,9,2,0,7,0,14,3,0,4,1,40,33,17,0,5,10,1,2,1,0,2,3,0,2,1,8,10,1,1,8,0,0,2,6,5,1,2,5,3,21,4,22,22,3,25,0,0,1,0,4,7,1,5,14,102,29,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013957564084662,0.0,0.0,0.12208408680180258,0.14718515656364342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459746710308925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558900838790987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133351826882778,0.0,0.1287534230754548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499385375735904,0.0,0.0,0.1171930479124077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21992294175788252,0.0,0.0,0.08882063773634663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927486561901353,0.09839011001048674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510073446520495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827176830976453,0.115516423723925,0.22030105563794192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597401553621338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241549001963654,0.0,0.0,0.07568955237206731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728502859814707,0.0,0.0,0.12188147655376555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193189260199396,0.0,0.13836234936877806,0.3000437958419828,0.0,0.0,0.13879347922378907,0.14610348413789748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890365077881194,0.0,0.0933254006885081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025535407270807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4181523639877898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453641371284308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812332304771378,0.10931896388677327,0.0,0.0,0.1238304875897468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327610980738018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783523467648418,0.150579660793671,0.0,0.26606937547266896
mentalhealth,DissimulationIX,2019/01/17,"Environment and Mental Illness Hi, I’m new to this subreddit so I thought I would contribute a little bit!

We all know how the conditions of your environment can play a role in mental illness development, now my question is, is there really a LARGE contributing factor to the onset of mental illness?
I’ve heard of cases where people have experienced a traumatic event(s) and then there was a sudden onset of a mental disorder.

I’ve been doing some research and I’ve noticed how many disorders are in DSM 5 (the word “a lot” is not a strong enough description) and I was kind of wondering, while going along with the theory of trauma as the cause of onset, what really determines what disorder that they end up with? I’ve seen people who have experienced great deals of trauma and they’re not phased by it and then there are some people who end up developing personality disorders from that trauma like ASPD, BPD, or even Psychotic disorders. Are there any determining factors to that? Like are they just genetically predisposed to those specific disorders?

Excuse my wording, I tried as hard as I could to put it into terms that made sense.",6.808619505494505,8.186509216346153,7.677362637362638,66.48192307692308,65.00961538461539,11.519780219780221,32.164835164835175,11.35114627814755,4.225027747252748,919,36,148,29,14,308,121,208,0.14300000000000002,0.797,0.059,-0.9528,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,2,1,11,9,0,0,13,0,16,3,0,4,1,31,24,16,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,1,3,1,0,1,12,11,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,7,5,11,6,26,15,7,18,0,0,1,0,13,7,0,6,11,106,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692247164053293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113477984746196,0.0,0.12820839784285012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045724509292268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127575899806218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494712378908568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7000016617827601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032194117441155,0.10518239723784344,0.0,0.06723524517216496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057852967286152336,0.0,0.0,0.11223036129193767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118914966174313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060047860158575,0.05594437549890456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946468930997217,0.10202625469752197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654325102058105,0.0,0.09632176093002696,0.0,0.10320508548963307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103453792579477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831513397232408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589532974352945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21171742110685304,0.08888427098797426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233301593188544,0.1140347276134384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304261461113591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081458985235973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691127476946895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039333303557072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231290097818803,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kidki11,2019/01/17,"Obsessed with my mom Ok so I have tried to reach out on this with some other posts somewhere but maybe this is the more appropriate place.

I already have lots of people telling me to get therapy. I appreciate where their heart is at. 

But I really just feel like maybe I need some understanding and kindness about this issue. Like maybe so I dont feel like a disgusting monster. Like how can I have the courage to go talk to some doctor about this if I feel like I am so disgusting.

But anyway, here is my real issue. 

I am in love with my mom. I mean in a romantic way.

Like I have grown up in an environment that seems a bit unusual. See my mom dates all these rough characters and has been most of my life. Like she cycles through all these dudes, and I cant even keep track of it. She usually dates more than one guy at a time. Like I have gotten to where I try not even to notice who it is this week, because I know they will be gone soon. Its almost like a blur to me.

My mom has been the only consistent good thing in my whole life. Like she has always been good to me and make big sacrifices to take care of me. 

She usually works two jobs, and its like she almost never get any rest.

I am turning 16 next year and all i want to do is to quit school and get a full time job so i can help take care of her for a change.. Then maybe she wont need to work so much and we can be together more.

I guess the sexual desires come partly from the fact that I have grown up hearing her having sex all the time. Like the place we live right now, her bed is right up against the wall, so like when she is having sex, not only can i hear the whole thing, but like her bed bangs on my wall and i can kind of even feel it in my bed sometimes. But like even without that, she is real loud and yelling and she say like all this stuff i can hear, it leaves not much to the imagination sometimes.

What I really wish for deep inside is i could become the man in her life. 

I know this is all wrong, and i ain't ever going to be that for her.. but its what i feel deep inside and its what i daydream about all the time. 

And some people tell me not to think this way about hell, but i feel like i an going to hell.. like i deserve it, because i know i am messed up but i dont want my feelings to change

i have always been feeling like a sense of doom about my future my whole life. i dont know why that is exactly, but i think everyone else sees me that way too

i guess i just want to be able to say all this and not have someone tell me i am a bad person, even though i know i really am
",2.260586432093831,3.206311393442629,3.5170767248656105,93.69636145541784,75.32058287795994,6.959011950775246,20.858367764005507,7.313800181584829,0.2548141721089339,1981,41,479,22,41,646,215,549,0.039,0.747,0.214,0.9986,2,0,0,0,1,0,46.0,2,0,2,3,29,37,4,1,23,1,53,9,1,2,12,95,101,35,0,9,18,4,9,19,0,2,5,7,3,3,34,22,0,1,19,0,0,7,13,9,0,2,6,18,82,28,57,88,26,56,4,1,2,3,38,27,2,13,37,332,116,6,0.05206591380069395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042729835314574,0.0,0.05745603058002963,0.0,0.08664602239113954,0.0,0.0,0.0354066068007327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0434728632289071,0.06347779558912588,0.05750271118176981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056842492916910625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616933826212303,0.0,0.11015766621466816,0.04485017450822341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04157039552788922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053291668996681724,0.0,0.0,0.18306258962316366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04349439002834397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194522510015198,0.04709659986254743,0.0,0.049751211872280834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106087233863948,0.18597949611238626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160687305855646,0.0,0.08877077601716628,0.08734083649094679,0.0,0.0,0.11471294802897868,0.05155344045399388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17604620666620935,0.061698358541423276,0.03489868451824523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868657371768836,0.10333477108978888,0.04627857647029015,0.0,0.10843727420948532,0.14307032291791125,0.0,0.0,0.05513028499045959,0.0,0.0,0.1471027787577263,0.483298735110441,0.0,0.04597515577777301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044264578018652925,0.046991519994120656,0.0,0.034754401760409746,0.0,0.2092288341890348,0.05671504377461525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439158758906317,0.0,0.0,0.07654887484866746,0.07721243071683259,0.04015644248486686,0.0,0.05537269000195175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592773879526432,0.0,0.0,0.0352812106677904,0.07919694725071927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056382310859890886,0.0,0.07219189783894772,0.045461947654850884,0.10879559651372783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04986475307316635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05537850824704715,0.0,0.1185248171687056,0.10006427281392856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892801180494568,0.0,0.08280980885414425,0.0,0.0526934844327772,0.08297958460513788,0.04739885246518609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441152798030515,0.0,0.10298904014170987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596030146410555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829417499040055,0.041848609291235864,0.13652371067955685,0.0,0.059541910020475014,0.0,0.06918055921023207,0.0667234704680573,0.05115449595609847,0.0,0.12144021216068855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069867554865791,0.05663276311163669,0.05086083231010772,0.05420245246959353,0.0,0.0,0.11468649646913702,0.0,0.09212947482288124,0.1239824967185622,0.04176413548340991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046981388870285926,0.1743892001324968,0.0598732313395992,0.0501896829274022,0.0,0.07580921069789144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692590329698001,0.0,0.0335287414396089
mentalhealth,annamjr,2019/01/17,"Should I go to hospital? I’m 15, extremely suicidal and just done with all this pain, honestly. I have a diagnosis of four anxiety disorders and bipolar II. I do have a psychiatrist and therapist and they said I can go to the hospital if I get too suicidal. 
The only thing is I’ve dealt with this for ages, and I feel like I could maybe be okay on my own if I don’t go to school, but I really don’t know what to do. I’m really confused and feel like I’m being naive if I think the hospital would be a nice place to be. I’d lose the internet and all of my usual coping mechanisms. Please give me advice, and if anyone has experience with the psych ward do tell me.",4.7470000000000026,4.263942985714287,6.8278571428571455,77.27964285714289,69.14285714285714,11.857142857142858,29.642857142857146,11.45678717892309,3.2894999999999994,518,17,115,17,8,185,81,140,0.136,0.757,0.107,-0.6212,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,2,8,0,1,8,1,18,2,0,0,2,27,31,13,2,7,6,0,2,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,4,11,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,3,0,1,2,3,15,5,12,22,3,7,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,5,4,76,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830220239621535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175629252941498,0.0,0.0,0.12042796450822413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375124900207524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973917207234918,0.0,0.0,0.1762521758022322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847502912490386,0.0,0.0,0.17417040182793733,0.2460838130448998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998362235580877,0.16521973043655575,0.2936486481829453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465368853330253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828679626948664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19268250559636824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17302925319877405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098948518762832,0.18326599527021625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994480434831042,0.18905798823489614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22067125963119072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383118236409944,0.0,0.0,0.17430703172789538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767856595278784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053754131209013,0.0,0.0,0.19997353999171116,0.11442266590469165,0.11035871141438937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896881843552192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234800630249205,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,My_mau5_died,2019/01/17,"Psych ward and withdrawal 20M, Ohio, United States 

I'm about to have a therapy session in a few hours that I'm 99% sure will end up with me being hospitalized. There are a few problems with this. 

1) I'm addicted to Kratom. I've been through the withdrawal already once before - I'm absolutely not going to try to get help if I'd have to do that again. 

2) I'm addicted to alcohol. My only withdrawal symptoms at the moment are insomnia and severe cravings. This will make kratom withdrawal that much worse. 

3) I'm prescribed a number of medications which help immensely when I'm not addicted to alcohol: effexor, wellbutrin, and vyvanse. Vyvanse helps with my emotional regulation more than anything, however, if I'm going through withdrawal, itd probably make me even more anxious and intensify my insomnia. Would I be allowed to abstain from it?

Thanks",3.89762658227848,6.657560582278485,5.513148734177218,73.12453322784813,76.0886075949367,9.772784810126582,33.925632911392405,9.978442167317967,4.373568354430381,684,38,113,23,16,231,97,158,0.067,0.779,0.153,0.7722,2,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,6,0,12,9,0,3,1,18,26,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,0,8,7,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,6,2,20,19,5,11,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,5,68,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5001571417448304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268767607293433,0.0,0.0,0.16876486581688954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277024482064274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125850453465372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301343313958503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202852845828726,0.1354528416850464,0.0,0.0,0.10101050333250176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07990094246811276,0.0,0.17383017879653068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075223827916889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060775046420868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20416732205236854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406344931199367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124230168865816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16286816876486868,0.0,0.11631209153282958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488714917284286,0.14633579114075534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277024482064274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413711335377802,0.1589554706104095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140799739884058,0.17489169289358167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383115899193494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585132828679274,0.10863889179754337,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abino97,2019/01/17,"What’s wrong with me Hey guys,

So I’m a 22 year old male.. I’m currently in college and recently graduated high school. I’m not able to make friends in college, due to my social anxiety.

I feel like fighting with anyone who I don’t like.. that person might not even have met me, but just by looking at them I feel like fighting them.

I have a hard time making friends and keeping friends due to this.

I’m extremely narcissistic and feel like no one is greater than me, yet I’m very introverted and socially awkward.. 

I have been involved in a lot of fights lately and I like fighting for some apparent reason.

Help me find my personality type and any ways to change this...",2.089172932330829,4.515730661654136,3.46387218045113,87.14889097744361,80.72932330827068,6.807518796992482,26.79323308270677,7.957251820313856,1.7558812030075188,530,23,108,10,14,173,85,133,0.132,0.675,0.193,0.9011,2,0,0,0,7,0,18.0,0,0,2,0,4,14,4,1,3,0,7,0,0,3,0,23,20,8,0,0,4,0,4,5,3,1,0,0,0,4,5,8,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,2,5,14,8,14,17,3,15,0,0,1,0,20,5,0,3,14,61,19,5,0.14435114611858274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816372937235668,0.0,0.1104282316742541,0.0,0.0,0.10093367769743566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270437231453807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534257060324113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189648302325997,0.3093734628895149,0.0,0.0,0.13193433241087654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345760122381507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293032951226026,0.0,0.0,0.12931027346760715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675553045171743,0.15251491130215794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830593120472267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628343803151215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526133926775456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212186069744592,0.0,0.0,0.12272218238418416,0.0,0.0,0.19271102187834727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313375440935084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147224537502135,0.0,0.09781607244697647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25208370581496536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841701985933936,0.14252934214007532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460910664118932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942956297988276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417231414291243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910481322282443,0.0,0.1145792207961423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782531765811728,0.0,0.0929574053621365
mentalhealth,Kaiden92,2019/01/17,"I’m trapped in a job I can’t emotionally handle anymore. I feel like I’m drowning. I’ve been slowly degrading in my ability at this job, and it mostly is because I feel like I’m wasting my life here now. I’m not earning any more than I was a year and a half ago, I’ve been denied raises, I’ve been kept in my department giving up my physical health to a company that won’t miss me for a second when I go. I’ve been applying for better jobs and I’ve been grappling with this crushing weight of a job by smoking a lot of weed and fighting to avoid thinking about it as soon as I’m off work. I don’t want to keep this up anymore. I want to die the moment I get up for work lately. I can’t find a way out of this darkness, and I’m just hoping a new job will fix it. I just need to find a way to make it through until I find one. What can I do to alleviate any of this stress and negativity.",2.599020979020977,2.7469866565656567,4.891414141414142,87.12122377622379,73.84848484848484,7.910489510489511,26.846930846930853,7.882392219407189,1.3327462315462313,690,23,165,9,13,244,105,198,0.179,0.728,0.093,-0.9564,5,2,0,0,2,1,14.0,0,0,0,4,7,9,1,2,11,0,14,3,0,1,0,27,34,10,2,4,3,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,11,8,1,3,6,0,0,2,6,5,0,3,7,3,17,4,31,25,3,22,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,3,11,104,28,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979912568736784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684653196790426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456822122614652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550714465966359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095488028603566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855263828484753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933180444446952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125260047200251,0.17697880761435766,0.0,0.0,0.3396319541089852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471451328838937,0.118822894221377,0.07039551141803252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316630346982647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302620356725652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6145860482895005,0.1100971807780958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972546738964206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748973316112504,0.12102866975480388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530585899318616,0.0,0.0,0.08268105774400482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184455952750288,0.0,0.11962989040616992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393434122710057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188729666323327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793678906154304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611794078666898,0.1966370387862772,0.0,0.15083458078777556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18035084506561488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976519999288363
mentalhealth,MissFlameBoots,2019/01/17,"lost all confidence & social skills through a job / HELP Hi, just wanted to see if anybody else had experienced something like this before. As a short summary;

* F/22 
* Had a job waitressing, got promoted to manager, got along well with boss & co workers 
* Was good at the job and actively complimented by people higher up, really helped build up self esteem and confidence as well as social interactions 
* Got a job in a professional field through an internship programme as a first step towards getting a career 
* after I got through the initial anxiety of being in a new environment, eventually build up skills and worked my ass off to get noticed, eventually felt well liked and appreciated by team fell like i fit in well came out of my shell and felt comfortable and confident around others 
* A lot of team members left, new people joined and a new manager was introduced 
* manager was a good friend of mine at the time, all of a sudden started treating me like a stranger and speaking down to me referring to me as ""kid"" and just refused to treat me as an equal even in our personal time even though we talked all the time previously (keep in mind i had all the respect for them getting new responsibilities and did not try to take advantage of us being friends previously and spoke to them very politely just like any manager within work) 
* new people joined the team who were more experienced and a lot of my responsibilities were given to them, leaving me with no or very little work
* over time made me feel useless and a bit worthless, reduced all of my opportunities for progression 
* left out of many meetings further made me feel isolated, confidence was dropping now so I was finding it hard to make up the time with anybody else as I was getting nervous and anxious talking to people 
* add another couple of months, at that point my anxiety transferred into personal life, find it hard to talk to people and socialise and constantly criticise myself in my head during a conversations with others for not being funny or engaging enough
* Came back into my demons, fell back into depression started self harming for the first time again since my teens 

Trying to pull myself back together now, with hopefully a new job in the horizon but still confidence levels and self esteem are extremely low. As someone who was previously chatty and enjoyed being social to not be able to do that again because i literally feel as if my speech was taken away from me I can't really get a break even by going out or to bars or clubs. When talking to people the only thing I can think about is how much they are better than me in every way and how much of a piece of shit I am in the comparison. Mental health is very poor and really scared of the new job in case I fuck up or won't fit in. 

​

Has anybody experienced something like this before, as in a part of their life such as a job, college etc almost taking away their personality due to fear over the course of a couple of years ? How did you deal with it and did you ever recover ? Especially in terms of social anxiety? ",8.411430239346181,8.01764514886165,8.510057793345009,67.95014214827788,61.60945709281962,11.746433158201985,36.896730881494456,11.14053501502696,4.206935504962054,2464,102,422,59,30,807,273,571,0.093,0.782,0.124,0.8987,7,0,2,0,0,0,52.0,3,2,6,17,28,36,2,3,37,0,31,8,3,7,6,83,65,46,0,4,14,0,7,6,2,1,3,3,0,7,12,39,1,2,9,5,1,7,6,11,4,2,30,14,42,25,104,29,17,90,1,5,1,2,43,46,3,11,40,302,54,24,0.05300510590244354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053076956989612914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17229303029999474,0.06440700536942258,0.03604528963619191,0.055580475139033365,0.12164628280204355,0.05988068236620345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471857819882103,0.0,0.0,0.09960008363346982,0.12227296388715365,0.0,0.03231142058252357,0.0,0.09020688222492013,0.0,0.0,0.046878708756469004,0.05786784744339948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124744086212727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057279689071689274,0.0,0.0,0.11729828301565365,0.0,0.0,0.05464593673902945,0.045653220044632105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855792902971499,0.0,0.0,0.05476844355515742,0.05911470434819414,0.105028117636513,0.04794615288834251,0.044659087814280685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05964548043686909,0.08040292250852735,0.0,0.10178642795389548,0.0,0.09689141305274954,0.09017223200589516,0.0,0.0,0.0819032266707554,0.04900236629391152,0.13846490064479255,0.0,0.03012402318750353,0.08891633604150699,0.16957210119503516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949643272495237,0.0,0.05439853062933015,0.056341948943801824,0.0,0.0,0.0710564103734563,0.0,0.0,0.05264603004192713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681957215031356,0.0471133735635956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056124753817578366,0.11518040530770328,0.0,0.0748781476922151,0.15537370411570695,0.05312504105520531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05786133450609665,0.09012609111546607,0.0,0.10030942562947258,0.03538131978127379,0.053738857904737904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341667981570468,0.0,0.053520046904285135,0.0,0.0423081698331227,0.0,0.07792970336789587,0.0,0.0,0.3583486310341067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060346664385408436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04031277154035718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05739936438248351,0.0,0.2204823988050782,0.13884604191531147,0.0,0.0,0.050106957842117265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186928434323557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306735782383338,0.0,0.04223820681005203,0.0,0.16588765632091426,0.0,0.05440897950501922,0.04384637134215216,0.0,0.0,0.21612812150862515,0.04491105422307036,0.08161184023775347,0.0,0.0,0.0750345735470648,0.0,0.042329946043177975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970648614363349,0.17041398530663066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03521423710496505,0.03396353160991484,0.052077247427528686,0.0,0.1854462210449108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197397512245644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375861605408584,0.0,0.0,0.13120429053982802,0.031263784776200614,0.04207298588076228,0.0,0.0,0.1906318234544367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576504515423013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440700536942258,0.03413355036051302
mentalhealth,LondonLifeCoach,2019/01/17,"Do You Find It Impossible To Change Your Feelings? ⋆ Wiseism There are many reasons why we can believe it's impossible to change our feelings. But feelings are not necessarily what we think they are. If you're struggling to change your emotional state, here's an article explaining the truth about feelings and how to change them should you want to. Warm wishes.",4.008653846153848,7.243162230769233,3.9172115384615367,81.44966346153849,80.53846153846153,6.9423076923076925,29.663461538461537,8.07648339933343,2.5478076923076927,295,14,50,6,8,90,46,65,0.042,0.8270000000000001,0.131,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,3,4,2,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,2,1,19,14,4,0,4,3,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,8,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,9,2,6,13,0,1,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,1,0,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093608944960115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7546702643398473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006164637799945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.360710576058674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630060030483789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808159497202735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18337050523195236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864470947021656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142776095983954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519373050651576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609305025067367,0.0,0.2050903440250968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,syrupslurper,2019/01/17,"Dad told me itd be the worst choice ive ever made, i think he was right! My mental health has deteriorated over the past year to a point where my family and my partner told me I need to start seeing a doctor. My prescription was kept non addictive but first few weeks still had bit mood swings, I don't know why she stuck by me that far but one day I awoke and felt a crushing feeling that I was holding her back and I couldn't make it any further as an us. This is where my dad told me that if I left her it'd be the biggest mistake I ever made so I stuck around, this led to me feeling more trapped and isolated. It's not been a few months and even though I never stopped caring for her I seem to have e done everything in my power to make her hate me(she still stuck by me after I'd ended it). Now I feel like a monster for ripping her heart out and making sure she won't take me back meanwhile the whole time I've been refusing to because I thought it's just going to make things worse in the long run. Now she does hate me, doesn't trust me at all and I can't do without my best friend. There have been other women come and go the last couple  months trying to distract myself. But I think my dad was right, I left my soulmate and broke her heart into a thousand prices.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong place for a post like this but I needed to get it off my chest somewhere as I don't know if what to do or even have anyone to talk to about how I really feel anymore",4.521738520855237,3.9240446246056777,5.237323869610937,88.88085786890993,69.63091482649843,8.05390816684192,26.128461268839818,6.937597516519254,0.8774326673676831,1154,27,270,8,18,375,173,317,0.206,0.7340000000000001,0.06,-0.9945,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,3,19,15,2,1,15,0,28,6,3,8,5,56,65,22,0,7,11,3,5,2,2,1,3,0,0,2,17,13,0,4,11,0,1,5,9,7,0,3,20,6,50,7,30,39,8,48,0,1,1,0,22,19,0,5,25,183,67,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070127873752428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675459788191114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735189009523296,0.0686382547863155,0.0,0.0,0.08738639456523672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509634614027515,0.0,0.059839604834634436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030166168460965,0.0,0.10716920089600984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008430803555513,0.0,0.0,0.08455922876427792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861612979087447,0.0,0.06330738567791205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004745796272062,0.08590360690817271,0.10045541995796108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694379188136894,0.0,0.0,0.12967223234775282,0.1775891490039404,0.0,0.0,0.08822309252381126,0.0,0.09253988315909874,0.0,0.19853781413177524,0.07012807833935604,0.09425242710598256,0.0,0.0,0.08349788763555993,0.0,0.0,0.07584093534578842,0.0,0.05128641693044485,0.0,0.11157724489183013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938324169497128,0.0,0.10434329099828556,0.0,0.2326486205010448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789626838822294,0.0800164161932693,0.0,0.0,0.2133100251876234,0.0,0.0,0.09591552964202904,0.0,0.0,0.08687167577074421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576949829632,0.2620997970462989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892579633217463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156706459725265,0.0,0.0,0.14557409561992876,0.0757098014371122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651817962026803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370824077349968,0.0,0.0,0.10256004391313576,0.0,0.09279630863273566,0.0,0.0940135709308108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288610043537056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766231516865232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822366082548995,0.08936443286375728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098860866101526,0.06948068436861332,0.0,0.15678711726250796,0.08206914504618311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251800870262317,0.0,0.07380679257680257,0.07890016405344577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652155180714637,0.125798511714163,0.09644521505886118,0.07793091440054684,0.05723997060142585,0.0,0.0,0.2813985108510717,0.0,0.06664662450704957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180786954177827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874089956632023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885773590115597,0.10959612702896307,0.0,0.09462618433037816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003707033706133,0.0,0.10732646042703596,0.0,0.0632141245526342
mentalhealth,snoottheboop,2019/01/17,"Not really sure what to do anymore. Sorry this is a bit of an essay I've tried to split it into sections if you don't wanna read it all. I'm basically posting here because I'm at the end of my fucking tether and sometimes I feel like the only way i'm going to get any help is if I just try to kill myself. I've never been diagnosed with anything despite seeing the doctors for many years, and my father says I shouldn't pathologise everything but I would really just like to know what I'm working with, you know? I feel like my mood really fluctuates over a month, loosely following my menstrual cycle but i have quite an irregular one so I'm not sure it's just that. For a few weeks I'll feel generally really good, lots of energy and optimistic but with some not great days scattered around, and then for a few weeks I'll be having suicide ideations, sleep for hours and hours, cry a lot. I'm crying a lot these days anyway. I have family history of stuff, my father was a alcoholic most of his life and still struggles mentally but he  was raped when he was a boy at school and I've not had anything really terrible like that happen to me. I saw my parents arguing a lot when I was growing up and my dad drunk though.

 I've had some shit things happen to me recently, I cheated on my boyfriend (was trying to do an open relationship thing but he wasn't happy with it so I was a shit head) and we finally broke up 2 weeks ago after getting back together again for a few months after it happened.  It was not only the cheating, that was the finally nail in the coffin of my relationship really, what helped break it down really was that I would talk about my problems all the time with my boyfriend, I tried not to dump too much on him but it would just come out sometimes and I needed to speak to someone about it, then he wouldn't want to talk to me about his problems because he knew I was not feeling great. 

My cat is dying and I can't afford her treatment so I have to give her up to a shelter. I have absolutely no money, and I'm still trying to find some shitty job to do. I'm waiting to go back to uni in September, but have done no work. I did very badly at uni for second year, I feel like I shouldn't be there but I have to get a degree because I want to get a better job. I feel really shit about the art I make and I can't find the motivation or inspiration to do anything. I hate drawing now, but it's the only thing I can do. My tutor last year was incredibly demoralising and unhelpful.

I have been to several counselors before and have never found them to be much help, just someone to moan at and not have anything fixed, however the last one at my uni suggested to me to get a Dyslexia test and lo and behold I actually do have dyslexia. I don't know how bad because I can't understand my test results really and I need someone to go through them with me, but in bad moments my brain likes to tell me that it's not that bad, also when talking about it with other people they say 'Oh i have that too! i forget things sometimes!', when I'm over here just numbly accepting for the millionth time when I'm half an hour late for a hospital appointment and have shown up at the wrong place. 

I did some online cbt stuff last year for several months and it was somewhat helpful, and I don't feel quite as terrified at the prospect of going back to uni, but it doesn't help the shit feelings day to day. A few months ago when I had to take a bus to work it went by my uni and I had a massive freak out on the bus. I was sobbing and remembering all the shit times I had there, and that I still had to go back and finish it.

I had been taking antidepressants (Citalopram) for the past three years with a break of less than a year, but I came off them because they weren't really doing anything. It seemed they'd work a while at first but just fade. My boyfriend at the time said that I actually seemed happier generally when I cam off them, though that may have been because I came off them after the events in summer.

Should I write out everything that has been happening to me for a GP? I really just don't fucking know what to do anymore. I feel shit about myself and that there isn't any point in doing anything. I just want to be able to do shit and not feel like a piece of crap.  But then there's a voice in my head telling me that i'm just being pathetic, and in any case noone can really help me I have to help myself, but I literally just don't know what to do anymore because nothing seems to be changing, as time goes on it just gets worse.

Thank you whoever reads this.",4.724678915838692,4.873009263771189,5.7575862068965495,82.77262711864407,69.18008474576271,9.137463471654003,28.56399766218585,9.035553425615538,2.0540889684395087,3611,116,767,62,58,1200,339,944,0.17,0.738,0.091,-0.9981,5,0,1,0,0,2,68.0,1,3,8,9,51,47,17,1,49,0,87,20,12,4,7,155,156,67,4,17,40,4,10,7,0,8,4,5,0,1,46,47,2,1,27,4,1,11,29,29,0,6,37,17,101,17,119,104,23,122,0,2,2,3,49,39,11,17,75,538,147,14,0.04140650377203324,0.0,0.08081354944305466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340873453686125,0.04425096001040542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03311276610673721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447352736349532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319237644716699,0.0,0.0,0.2044441472496876,0.036860567045694695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735618211899372,0.13829080439531902,0.1766871426471079,0.0,0.035233884976893545,0.0,0.0,0.036620687722525566,0.045205177928606,0.0,0.0,0.046223352162563,0.0,0.094716018993476,0.0,0.0,0.04380259068434176,0.03566803661719945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096620018789953,0.10681507783348416,0.0,0.0,0.04202672972855664,0.042973413671504375,0.0,0.0,0.04238131115447048,0.0,0.04237322938983998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036673872240576805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442699136705509,0.0,0.03903436667180769,0.0,0.2093637243337317,0.1183232582726048,0.0,0.09071760189669524,0.07568958861114837,0.03522035095596922,0.0,0.0454000941772001,0.0,0.07655929104346394,0.12979913538280852,0.03972089141963965,0.11766135153450186,0.034729810845716164,0.0,0.09130163317293226,0.0,0.0,0.14646253815412125,0.04407799321613843,0.0,0.04088035005992917,0.08499003729346709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19427734666727808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233119653129045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217913173079673,0.0,0.045810161539833576,0.0,0.11377965799742765,0.10125548107994163,0.04670833979521001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029246638149982795,0.14160388353805894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080931518558182,0.0,0.0,0.027639162794603343,0.04197969581709126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04172801688858627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220110507899266,0.0,0.060877089131661476,0.06140479577411685,0.06387049667795955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03973065710884813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056116237129340135,0.0944745359014534,0.0,0.0,0.04597702230949142,0.0,0.039527193093966836,0.0287060561504904,0.0,0.04326098351668839,0.0,0.0391425298293592,0.0,0.03965598479879267,0.0,0.0,0.07924086407870852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808182717770219,0.08283541792001188,0.0,0.31831279908587506,0.0,0.04088392715704742,0.08891017819942093,0.04690549705820327,0.0,0.03938706708115868,0.06585622746978033,0.0,0.04190559240503109,0.0329956225881951,0.11308477774360795,0.0,0.09355512673935906,0.2975222676618102,0.0,0.0,0.04143640705385958,0.0,0.10525078883058077,0.0,0.12285627297630244,0.04635119097239725,0.0,0.0,0.09920186219792143,0.0,0.0,0.043287068058353584,0.09480108079948933,0.04529199457909538,0.0,0.078050279558595,0.0,0.062265075467186785,0.0998429378444218,0.072382218724575,0.03812154553406053,0.0,0.0,0.11003456491151277,0.0,0.08136335944744022,0.0,0.12072232665877668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405614903345959,0.0,0.0,0.043105630705472485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03416470205180671,0.07326788619079667,0.032866555380133174,0.09964139917235856,0.0,0.0,0.038384243830684665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057771158048004,0.0,0.042196764800284184,0.0882419768070646,0.04527151177285948,0.0,0.15998658518182265
mentalhealth,Which_Improvement,2019/01/17,"Girlfriend’s success is damaging my self esteem Hey,
I met my girlfriend a few years back at work (large company) and as she was a couple of years younger than me, I helped her out quite a bit. We got friendly and had a good friendship.

A year ago I broke up with my ex, and I started a new relationship with this girl from work. It’s been brilliant.

My girlfriend has worked hard and has also been quite fortunate and seems to have had senior management help her out at various stages. As a result, she is now an equivalent paygrade to me.

I shouldn’t be down about my position - I have a good salary, a nice home, a wonderful girlfriend, and good health and fitness.

Unfortunately though, I am feeling lower than ever. This has continued for months. My career has taken a recent dip and everyday I am exposed to seeing my girlfriend attend important meetings, be very busy, and finish late. I recently took up a new role within the company but it’s slow starting.
It’s pathetic I know, but I am terrified by the possibility of her jumping to the next pay grade before me. I am now trying to work extremely hard to make sure I get the promotion first, but it seems very unhealthy to be that competitive.
I really don’t know what to do or how to get out of this. I have spoken with her about it at length. She can’t understand what I am saying. She says she never judges me, would never think she is ‘better than me’ etc. She does not care about work the same way I do (or at least never says that she does), and I feel so jealous of how things have fallen for her.

I continue to lose sleep over this. I am doing awful things like checking her calendar and seeing her meetings and wallowing in self despair. When she checks her work phone I go into a negative spiral.
It’s pathetic to type but it’s the truth and I don’t know how to get out of it.

I am in my second session of CBT and am hopeful it will help but if you can offer any other advice please do.

Thank you.",4.0855867346938775,5.200233119897959,5.22204081632653,82.55867346938777,71.11734693877553,8.457142857142857,27.26530612244898,8.841846274778883,1.999167346938775,1541,52,308,28,28,510,198,392,0.146,0.7290000000000001,0.125,-0.9488,2,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,2,0,13,14,18,1,0,20,1,38,2,1,5,6,57,64,31,0,4,9,1,4,1,6,3,1,3,1,3,20,23,0,0,10,0,3,5,9,5,0,2,9,9,56,13,49,49,6,52,0,4,2,0,44,17,0,7,29,228,76,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933799537444675,0.08104142498102893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731113475060931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062171121496666426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029903555880034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779467291351591,0.0,0.0,0.08085666468827367,0.09981079387809397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321236097917372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115837434406877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001065848790275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196137979096488,0.0,0.08269779842539801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924529467311338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776479046564783,0.0,0.0,0.07063357664358752,0.0,0.14329503102176838,0.0,0.051958087296882664,0.2300451065951945,0.07311973223303063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16379501418546724,0.0,0.0,0.09717891542830023,0.0,0.0,0.18383775385215026,0.0,0.0917052342324691,0.09080417339100604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073190964765404,0.0,0.10312970082875288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04466490875535311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227952188754157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061025902497543985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297337304110947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21153433979012848,0.1765947903163626,0.0972299395161851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035555945173524,0.0,0.10306627031151132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19448031176260944,0.0,0.0,0.058568241209920074,0.0,0.18053937240746096,0.09815463489539086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21811093264436396,0.0,0.0,0.1457054008384158,0.16645705881957995,0.1907493182423006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148953445185816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942006113778484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616557573840264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417048439945876,0.0,0.0,0.12147543468575643,0.05858049335954695,0.08982313388815094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015748829468686,0.06207056174468055,0.0,0.0,0.0951750975988654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086793994196446,0.0,0.07256772641643691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914489617248982,0.39934442253027136,0.0,0.0,0.06494463807070541,0.0,0.0,0.1766212280157642
mentalhealth,KrAzZyG0d,2019/01/17,"I dont know what to do... Hi im a 22 year old guy from Portugal.

So i've been in depression medication since i was 16/17 and gradually got better but right now im on one of lowest points in life.

Im a freshmen in college and came to the city im studying at with a lot of expectations.

I lived in a super small village 30km away from the nearest city where i studied since my 5th grade. Since i lived so far away i couldnt go out or do stuff with my friends and at 16 i started to isolate myself playing videogames which i believe is what made me depressed. You know at that age you want to go out and meet new people but i couldnt do it.

I've always been really shy and had social anxiety so i decided that coming to this city would be perfect for me to change, open myself to people and meet a lot of new people. Which didnt happen because i kept being shy and having social anxiety and now i only know people from my class.
To make things worse i fell in love for a girl from my class and i think that i had a really really good chance but right now she doesnt care about me(we're still friends but its just a regular classmates friendship) and i think that she stopped trying because i didnt take actions with the fear of rejection.

So right now im thinking that i should ask my psychatrist for benzos or something like that so that i can overcome my social anxiety.
I dont know if its the best thing to do since i read that benzos give you suicidal behavior and i had/have problems with that without even taking benzos.
But on the other side i really feel the need to meet new people, mainly girls because i've never been in a real relationship and that crushes me inside.

I know its a long text and i really appreciate if you read the whole thing.

What is your advice?
",3.676330390920554,4.652861366120224,4.956284153005466,84.60102143757884,71.95081967213116,7.9258511979823485,26.37200504413619,8.263242389622931,1.5836615384615382,1404,45,291,21,26,467,174,366,0.146,0.7240000000000001,0.13,-0.4426,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,5,0,4,14,16,0,1,17,0,25,3,0,2,2,60,52,27,1,10,11,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,0,3,25,22,0,2,10,3,0,6,9,5,0,1,12,1,43,11,42,34,5,46,0,3,0,1,23,25,0,6,16,194,68,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356269737401906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263895022100911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727668706018437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037659263055847,0.0,0.14145598504673276,0.0,0.0,0.13766987918143328,0.0,0.0,0.08481472642629828,0.0790016647228569,0.066578999564583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861002097380979,0.07675292772676277,0.0,0.0796362069494,0.0648470124974015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967702388150495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764550850658471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049721698000946064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471087453934313,0.038063805401122815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632220761835038,0.0,0.0,0.07221538908747323,0.08556666255904588,0.06314125170709707,0.060208254189977675,0.0,0.0,0.07453898750809143,0.0665698125187916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065763287643664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068594630900258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317245605563769,0.03677798177848987,0.0,0.1329471527806246,0.06662038817879426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280006455021257,0.06794309537796582,0.07123171032720298,0.0502499522021654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583663131010443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581913018790086,0.05806053947883502,0.2181175388493216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899364567590109,0.0,0.051011643414635315,0.05725379538023645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609481987921263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711638868229822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203274683108092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060064670047574,0.08568506571565326,0.24113132300516335,0.0,0.0,0.08082249520378477,0.0,0.19286600184221253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490894152962226,0.0,0.0,0.2302152910594708,0.0,0.057954184530566825,0.0,0.0,0.05328353715405308,0.0,0.06011866653192876,0.0629374102890251,0.0,0.0,0.08617753392693392,0.08234404853914967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132023096843321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500379642957887,0.14470905980038412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05111014558051445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044402065846462564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404737747698471,0.0,0.0725671868999555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671670195141761,0.05347671767691133,0.0,0.0,0.04847782063273374
mentalhealth,onionlolz,2019/01/17,"Given Quetiapine for insomnia (anxiety) but I see conflicting results. This report says it works:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22510671

While this article says it's harmful:
https://medicalxpress.com/news/2017-08-seroquel-insomnia.html

Should I talk to the psychiatrist about this?

",16.751688311688312,22.64560936363637,9.133419913419914,37.97727272727275,76.57575757575756,11.582683982683985,38.04761904761904,9.23628265651192,6.945652813852815,251,11,20,8,7,64,28,33,0.113,0.887,0.0,-0.5499,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,14,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34468129013168786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7166153650665466,0.0,0.0,0.35904228096708946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36214739340344976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280169701596736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,drellaxcvii,2019/01/17,"Sertraline a.k.a. Zoloft and how it works? Hello, I just want to ask anyone who has ever experienced taking Sertraline/Zoloft since it was my first time being on antidepressants.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder last June 2018. My psychiatrist staryed me on Zoloft 50mg for 9 days, then it went up to 100mg, and now it's currently 150mg. 

I only saw my pschiatrist twice: (1) was when I went for consultation and diagnosis after my family doctor referred me and (2) on August, after 2 months of taking my medication. He asked me how I was and just continued to prescribe me my medication. Until now, I wasn't asked to go for another up-to-date check-up.

When I was taking my medication, the first few days were all nothing but the side effects until my body adpated to it. I've been sleeping too much or too little at random times of the day. I've been taking it consistently and still don't feel any change despite the change of dosage. Therapy, of course, was reccommended for the medication to be more effective. The thing is, I think therapy is a rip-off and I'm not comfortable talking to a therapist.

I stopped taking Zoloft on October when I started working for a late night shift, since my managers were giving comments about me being sleepy and sluggish which slows down my performance at work. I know it's wrong without the go signal from my psychiatrist. I experienced brain zaps for a period of two weeks and I just tried to tolerate whatever I am feeling. I didn't ask my family doctor or my psychiatrist if there's alternative for Zoloft that will make me less sleepy.

Ironically, though, I started overthinking less compared to when I was on medication. Or maybe it was just me who is trying to convince myself that I got better. Honestly speaking, I had  more breakdowns when I was on medication compared to when I am not on it. Although I still had thoughts of suicide and days when I am really at my worst self. Sometimes I still think I might be needing it still, sometimes I don't.

I don't really know.",6.04523076923077,7.163309523076926,6.99179487179487,71.6515384615385,66.58974358974359,10.82051282051282,32.94871794871795,10.80991298281133,3.8361794871794888,1654,70,293,47,26,553,192,390,0.08900000000000001,0.855,0.056,-0.9247,1,0,0,0,0,1,51.0,0,0,0,9,25,8,0,1,11,0,33,17,3,5,2,44,62,30,1,3,12,0,2,0,0,2,14,1,0,1,16,12,0,1,10,0,0,4,8,4,0,4,22,6,49,4,44,34,8,59,0,1,1,0,14,14,0,6,41,209,65,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309608990321706,0.0818721651186991,0.059729875324812276,0.0,0.0,0.0545943360093504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919716092997405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905413050644506,0.0,0.08672766501098929,0.0,0.08716148142449091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519350136487973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014168161083571,0.0,0.06724893877471498,0.07924808243428308,0.0,0.0,0.08948478013930254,0.15983340420419748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062651652871492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721101202768686,0.0,0.07895771948905297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282714567374398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749000576042422,0.08874767602390461,0.0,0.062446547253491684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581985583520542,0.0636444374280669,0.0880760027336639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825521682442171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211803691860849,0.0,0.07844039569344156,0.0,0.0,0.4719355355206807,0.0,0.08282900052110002,0.0,0.0,0.062321551907978674,0.0,0.0573967164352904,0.05789425383318606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327142788540261,0.0,0.07491847236428707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05938225392439345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477766584850402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000382340190521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145295361057314,0.0,0.0,0.12917476309443834,0.0,0.07813493515184222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544433603927586,0.0,0.11052879594298663,0.0,0.24941451639220105,0.06527716205198039,0.08943871265740003,0.0,0.0,0.08540525858661722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935267545958746,0.06275657912539878,0.0,0.0,0.1785792479493392,0.09065521185107456,0.051871917747640536,0.10005916146003872,0.07671177674621311,0.06198564546177272,0.09105645817797256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602041743498088,0.0,0.07627139590326522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046052750413336674,0.0,0.06262990138640964,0.0,0.0,0.14475919201511422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526493379964777,0.0,0.1705263380374481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536663499806889,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Doveen,2019/01/17,"Is it a good idea to personify your mental issues? I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for as long as i can remember, and... it kinda helps to imagine it as a 'person'. For example, i imagine my mental illness as a malicious, four legged demon made up of black, spikey crystals, with a long snout and red, glowing eyes.

And boooy does it help to separate it from myself! I am no longer struggling against myself, i no longer just scramble to hold a loose scaffolding together. I am fighting something, and each success is a victory not for normalcy, but AGAINST the bad things. And when i really think in to depression, i used to have a hard time climbing out, but now, i just close my eyes, imagine the demon and see them as an outside force i was not resisting, so i take up the fight. And it helps me struggle everyday

The thing is... is this a positive approach or will it have consequences later on i am not foreseeing?
",7.9085875706214726,7.044649463276841,8.080000000000002,72.16146892655367,62.84180790960452,11.934463276836158,39.440677966101696,11.20814326018867,4.488633898305085,733,35,133,18,9,240,105,177,0.183,0.7290000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9289,0,0,1,0,3,0,28.0,0,1,1,2,5,10,2,3,13,0,14,4,3,2,0,31,19,18,0,0,8,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,13,0,1,6,0,0,2,5,8,0,1,3,7,19,2,25,15,1,15,2,2,6,0,8,6,0,2,7,104,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350523609990795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480010756913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781052535493646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128189686756273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354126836799726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462330522389358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32464020616561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18225212718143655,0.0,0.16850698045030615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857480745849093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276347550513952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253978420227223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409678355416232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342601289851013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828860878111526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286510261805858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242885030878525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5063331396009284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138679657663312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21451420795837686,0.10344764904395633,0.0,0.0,0.09414007064752936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943693000235466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlternativeBrain,2019/01/17,"How important it is to seek for licensed psychologist face to face? Hi, I want to have 2nd opinion about the decision I am taking right now because honestly I am starting to feel like I am just (a)wasting my time, (b)wasting my money, (c) is being ridiculous ;\_\_\_;

​

​

Current situation:

​

I am booking an appointment with a licensed therapist near my city which has a good review(at least that's based on google review), I did make a phone call 3 months ago to talk in general and to grasp if I can like the therapist which I do. What prompts me to seek for a face to face session is because on the last internet counselling session, my (licensed)counselor are advising me to seek for a face to face session since the depressed check list he told me to fill in indicate that I might have a very severe depression, so I need to make sure if I'm depressed or not by having a face to face session since filling the check list only may not be 100% accurate.

​

​

The problem:

As you have noticed it took me 3 months since the phone call to finally book an appointment because I need to create a time where I could skip work without my parents knowing and makes it all natural (I am a successor of family's business). The reason why I do this is because I do think my parents will either worry and not be supportive of my decision to seek for a psychologist(they think it's only for crazy people). In the length of 3 months I feel terrible mood swings and roller coaster feelings until I found an online friend I could talk to everyday that alleviate my loneliness and sometimes my anxiety because I can keep talking to someone non stop to distract my mind. Because of this, I started to think that maybe I am not depressed and maybe it's just me seeking for attention. My online friend kinda agree on this and agree too on my opinion that I could make my mind healthier myself without going to psychologist since it's kinda a waste of money(it's a bit expensive imo) because honestly I am just curious if I'm depressed or if I am just seeking for attention.

​

So I really want to understand how important it is to seek for mental help and how to differentiate if it's depression or not

​

Thanks!

​",11.993018867924526,8.266207641509434,11.081320754716986,62.81438679245285,57.49056603773585,14.373584905660374,48.433962264150935,12.161744961471696,5.843016981132076,1816,93,309,40,16,587,188,424,0.123,0.775,0.102,-0.9174,4,0,0,0,0,0,72.0,0,1,0,1,13,21,1,1,24,0,34,8,8,8,2,72,62,23,0,13,20,2,3,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,19,9,0,2,15,3,4,4,7,10,0,0,4,3,45,10,52,49,4,29,0,6,0,0,17,10,0,14,17,210,64,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04321399609042522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42256544818393466,0.4738933729831084,0.0,0.0,0.03729367050037656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080231334800228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322245083227346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955854513745063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676889340314447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519301857429852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045957227825544435,0.0,0.07394850126690325,0.03482706010843424,0.0,0.053403319351977487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053451936057917177,0.07532836708247102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02770578851296196,0.04088924620691755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03267614465112166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04333130259395899,0.0,0.0,0.02679176382424526,0.03973781404559831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763364397368036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301642024463847,0.0,0.09795199655121864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912860492858909,0.05171612089446684,0.09844734825121568,0.0,0.11673552351930555,0.0,0.0,0.07229511913690871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555022783815411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741532507604638,0.0,0.0,0.10826236822453786,0.0,0.0,0.03379716068081561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04664723363102998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031230543481448464,0.050123191790388086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04163229384414013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507370351308554,0.0,0.1613062483593365,0.05479712179383341,0.0,0.0,0.04130577653766815,0.0,0.04821506626404925,0.0,0.06901110163524447,0.0,0.0,0.04075724182459429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532100229291394,0.04594636451617457,0.0,0.036653985997510005,0.11755038015262025,0.0,0.04488251514110071,0.0,0.1132051785318684,0.0,0.0937112302112374,0.0,0.0,0.05685311629656078,0.0,0.0,0.046582781504481516,0.054163122077121824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05075054265773338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04022391368580168,0.05750810930749105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043989356041012485,0.0,0.0,0.0939866566301272,0.0,0.0354906319370948,0.04950806298105266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4738933729831084,0.0
mentalhealth,banzee,2019/01/17,"Feedback from others medically diagnosed with BPD After a stay in hospital, I was recommended (ordered) to go to testing. I believe it was 2 8hr sessions of tests to assess me. This was back in my early/mid 20's and to jump-to-the-chase, I was diagnosed with BPD (among other things), and what stuck out the most after to going to therapy afterward was that I was told it was one of the most difficult disorders to diagnose.

We are categorized as being unresponsive or deceptive with therapists. And my old one in the state I used to live flat-out told me that most therapists don't want to treat people diagnosed with BPD. 

Has anyone actually had any luck trying anything? It might be my concoction of everything else wrong with me, but I can't hold a job, can't focus on anything... the only thing I am successful at is self-destructing. I've managed to hold a 4yr relationship and can ""play normal"" when he's around. Other than that I teleport to my own reality when I'm by myself but can pop into ""normalcy"" because of our dogs that I take care of and love.

At this point I'm ready to find my city's SS office and just beg for advice from them. I don't know how any gvmt things work... ",7.12149645390071,6.107677600000002,8.115585106382976,71.75791666666667,64.48936170212768,11.918439716312056,34.051418439716315,11.20814326018867,3.719503546099292,936,34,182,24,12,320,143,235,0.037000000000000005,0.853,0.111,0.9671,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,2,0,1,2,6,8,0,0,7,0,21,6,0,2,0,33,34,13,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,16,15,0,2,3,1,0,2,4,2,0,2,11,0,22,6,40,20,4,23,0,0,0,1,8,11,0,6,7,126,38,8,0.0,0.0,0.10969272555884026,0.0,0.0,0.10984252751566274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288082288066415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785973791002947,0.0,0.185002274914915,0.10006579571748077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643381481000573,0.0,0.06852208176099024,0.0,0.0,0.12664385964324906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247169157254402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146061234387551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4563617425069122,0.0,0.0,0.12882781809290056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390137518187956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102389505796162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273768852381188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776663746814867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154630635252703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177578331804441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925717659037586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145143652915196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323792572507467,0.0,0.1192457465430189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013470102295828,0.0,0.0,0.11795192411993012,0.0,0.15233937975118936,0.08549036154091416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792865332344395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626066573838937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068273010937335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726470439483805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981058734546947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451585015375895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285468592210354,0.2610256877950156,0.22403405271779508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481884025630954,0.0,0.07631677157939519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708329912585993,0.0,0.0,0.06630038475471779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183341726767399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289908191777532,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DocHQ_Sparrow,2019/01/17,Is social media damaging our mental health? [https://medium.com/@DocHQ/social-media-is-damaging-our-minds-3a317205a77b](https://medium.com/@DocHQ/social-media-is-damaging-our-minds-3a317205a77b),88.9,112.03894900000002,46.44500000000001,-230.8,-66.0,11.6,29.0,8.841846274778883,6.6475500000000025,184,2,3,2,2,41,8,8,0.32,0.68,0.0,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31348091922582144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972050169460922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9018862961501338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HellspawnKitty,2019/01/17,"Issue/Rant: Forcing people to get unstuck in situations or relationships. The biggest issue I have with people trying to help other people is that they force people to get unstuck in issues or situations without understanding that just because something registers intellectually, doesn’t mean it quickly registers emotionally. What saddens me is that they call said broken person “dumb” when in fact the person understands what they need to do but just have a great difficulty getting through the rut that they’re stuck in. In the culture of “self-care”, I observe that help does not really come empathetically, that self-care is done and/or administered so selfishly.",12.922972972972973,11.894889225225224,11.77790990990991,50.16145945945951,53.14414414414414,13.925045045045044,45.62342342342343,12.688352899677879,6.164858018018018,548,26,73,14,5,176,73,111,0.131,0.764,0.105,-0.2902,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,0,5,3,1,0,5,0,8,0,0,0,1,14,18,5,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,10,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,1,6,1,13,15,0,9,0,0,0,0,11,6,1,2,2,51,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014373176925436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099775315009828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738193137148335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940713296054127,0.15132831268660168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634040213519072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317770491947672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630336216113817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982360998592357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086878886451105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108012717997527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964805219201118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100739173004498,0.25823893706912465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473304152535793,0.0,0.0,0.15876329750322885,0.0,0.0,0.14066377495633794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30853347672186715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33243725120883194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384203639078612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039797989127867,0.0,0.0,0.3078879026159377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254702052592086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DinamoCode,2019/01/17,"Could you tell me how you stay happy and motivated Most of the days I have this strange feeling that I have everything I need in my life, however, I get this emotion of unhappines all the time. Therefore, my motivation drops down. If you Aliso feel something like this, how do you cope with it? ",5.082857142857144,6.445201571428572,5.462857142857144,80.83214285714288,69.0,9.171428571428573,31.857142857142854,9.516144504307137,2.8818714285714284,232,10,45,5,4,74,43,56,0.033,0.753,0.214,0.8779,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,4,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,5,1,14,8,4,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,11,2,5,7,2,6,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,3,33,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256683239797923,0.0,0.0,0.207334158708942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36163246393803017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889340709816661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3251095446773907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796501693450633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422315960034503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22707757140221466,0.15706355137320968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23838042214167496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24749835632995165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34266507669863217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28099603031964315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746313754845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KellyO5,2019/01/17,Over the counter supplement for dealing with stress. Any ideas? I’m looking for a supplement for starters to deal with stress before I go talk to my doctor. I have been told magnesium works but also just want to start taking things before I know more information. So do you know of anything that helps stress?,4.8452631578947365,7.289485456140351,4.175298245614034,85.4324210526316,71.63157894736842,7.3670175438596495,27.18947368421053,8.238735603445708,1.8552905263157893,249,9,45,4,5,74,44,57,0.132,0.787,0.081,-0.4606,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,3,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,9,12,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,1,5,0,10,10,1,4,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,2,27,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676812685773946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480605758155687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510287826863219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31233943327540753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3784208142637056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878497746719827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430379698635482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301566354600713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071819749873363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20172554868980272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411819150252054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990281672365414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6306957711360658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799101629741894,0.1475137103734542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192855566348502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753698864347437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082501975258957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336113450354359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,humbugd,2019/01/17,"Am I Insanely Picky Or Potentially Anorexic? The past few months I have been eating very little.

Whenever I see food I feel so repulsed. My diet consists of mainly salmon sashimi and salads, because they don't feel disgusting to put into my body. Other than that I forcefully stuff food into myself to make myself eat so that I don't faint in the middle of the day. I eat about 1-2 meals everyday.

Many times when I eat I feel nauseous and want to puke it out. Especially if it is cheap unhealthy food.

I have little to no body image problems, I feel that I should gain more muscles but stay the same weight. I don't refuse to eat because I feel fat, but because I feel disgusted at food.

I'm 5'3"" and 50kg. I look healthy on the outside, but slim.

These all developed after I was sexually assaulted back in late 2017. It has not gotten any better.

I've seen a therapist and she called what I did ""intermittent fasting"" but I am beginning to doubt her, especially because she don't know that I am eating less than 2 meals everyday.

**tl;dr: I don't know what's wrong with me, how do I make myself eat?**",1.9127873734365688,4.289076474885847,3.6951677585864617,85.52933889219776,81.05479452054793,6.731070081397657,23.67699027198729,7.893859768569023,1.4283133214214812,864,31,170,16,23,289,130,219,0.124,0.807,0.069,-0.9142,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,2,6,7,3,1,6,0,17,20,3,3,1,33,34,14,0,4,7,0,7,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,12,8,17,1,8,0,1,1,7,6,0,0,5,10,32,1,20,28,6,24,0,0,3,0,6,10,0,3,12,110,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062066924839719366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018121679800762,0.0,0.22255007885928305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072115170492078,0.0,0.20276142652211696,0.0,0.0,0.09319716748899497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886178440653654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6537460235945074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768939963362029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.441457572515583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003195254412983,0.0,0.10295685900445213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829536099479536,0.0,0.0,0.07664405393279544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184725037634067,0.0925337454133467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285107218286548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712781623282273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733333818021081,0.0,0.09175184729217847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273060180411932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728198186869387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448264220197824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597183767290108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322043823005548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530754523708638,0.053833579907241635,0.0,0.0,0.1111426210073559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978973080509017,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ayoromantic,2019/01/17,"Random surge of extreme energy to spacey detached feeling I just had this two hour period of an extreme surge of energy, happiness, excitement, and I couldn't stop moving around. It just came out of nowhere. My face is still stuck in this neutral smiling position. I felt invincible and warm and really good and now that it has died down my brain feels really spacey but I still feel warm. It kind of feels like my brain is just floating off somewhere else while I'm still somehow having precise thought except it's like my thoughts are separate from myself. It's kind of like my brain is vacant. It's really strange. I've only had this surge of energy and happiness a few times but they have never lasted this long. Usually I am neutral feeling and tired so this is different. I was wondering if anyone else has had the same symptoms. ",4.215452079566003,6.5482979050632935,4.793707052441231,80.79518987341773,73.1139240506329,8.564918625678121,27.74141048824593,9.23628265651192,2.6429207956600362,671,26,119,16,14,214,95,158,0.066,0.708,0.226,0.9709,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,10,11,0,0,3,0,15,6,4,0,2,32,27,11,1,2,7,0,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,9,0,1,9,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,9,8,13,11,15,17,2,20,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,16,81,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822031643435857,0.12927507692564685,0.0,0.1123171823730562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4225390782757622,0.0,0.14430375373433987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094352928840516,0.13181977828116978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21079606284570826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31897425206648544,0.0901351772607268,0.1211420507395224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582459281498367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686185481931482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425107562494705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627712499725138,0.0,0.10284459560473744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491943892655446,0.0,0.0,0.11165561754938454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340977072730961,0.0,0.0,0.09730933079166992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595722953564603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24248132606238665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30227624101436945,0.10548295506655317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113792709165148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032822657973087,0.07357017358427857,0.14501273497490405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324880515670845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895735692297267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368249264993069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helpbutnot,2019/01/17,"Found out today that someone I'd consider a distant friend ended his time I've been in a bad place myself for a long time and the past 4 or so months I've always played with ending it in my mind. I always felt I was ready, but could not get over the consequences to others. Today I learned a distant friend ended his life when I went to settle a debt I was owed (one that was taking a toll on me). The person owing it was the best friend of the departed. I felt and feel like the most rabbid bastard alive right now. I'm seeing first hand what a life lost does to those around them, and even their extended acquaintances. I don't know the family, but seeing what torment is being experienced by people that knew them... It's not good. It's making me realise that no matter what, the end is not the answer and definitely not the end. As much as I stress about disappointing those around me, I now see they'd much rather support my fall than experience me end it all. This is an anonymous post. Maybe I don't have the guts to own up to my issues completely.

But if one person thinking about it sees this from someone else thinking about it. Seeing another so close to breaking point seeing exactly what breaking point is... Don't do it. Our internal respects can't compare to the shock wave that devastates many more.

I drunk a lot to medicate myself due to a disease I have. I was so shell shocked by this I could only ask the bar staff to charge me twice and wish the next customers a happy holiday period.

Life is definitely short, but if there is just one person that made an ounce of effort to comfort, respect themdont do it. We all wish we could do more. We may not realise we slack at it. But ending it... It's not a good legacy. It hurts more when you are gone. ",4.117457627118647,5.164029864406783,4.932400000000001,84.92022711864408,70.9774011299435,7.810892655367232,25.459435028248592,8.109356740369918,1.3917327909604522,1388,40,282,19,25,450,187,354,0.125,0.7020000000000001,0.172,0.9575,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,5,1,4,4,16,21,1,1,27,0,28,8,2,2,3,55,56,20,0,8,16,0,4,1,3,1,4,0,0,3,29,14,2,0,10,4,3,4,11,8,0,5,14,11,36,13,33,36,11,44,0,3,6,0,19,15,1,6,23,199,65,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336989626360366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424370342934841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303962008072216,0.07510724074530176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708071018292405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431208204079457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423516990212443,0.0,0.0,0.1924353341931439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030624937006427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711392706552474,0.0,0.4981029892967464,0.0,0.0,0.05306394359877962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858813049868622,0.07573758933096936,0.0,0.04062241846450361,0.05739505407311477,0.15427837974092282,0.0,0.0,0.06833733205468909,0.0,0.08808888119769454,0.18621191489362146,0.0,0.041974437951870176,0.0,0.0,0.13477109407156593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552363553904553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860058444474138,0.0,0.0,0.08385429450484519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441528721809706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023997505623764,0.03925016299189135,0.0,0.0,0.07109854777648743,0.0,0.0,0.08770081745369375,0.06830236402428318,0.0,0.07601983864620605,0.05362770654868507,0.0814523516870635,0.08071252814797954,0.0,0.0,0.08093429807011532,0.0,0.0,0.08112069836846353,0.0,0.06412678018934402,0.0,0.1181185803546963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544271286000596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332179377605496,0.061102341452923224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669381043445915,0.05569777807123583,0.21044988817013208,0.08393840820292334,0.0,0.15189491222012622,0.0,0.07694370236510956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686100908010192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841244205623456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614397945334028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202942628045696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116910552009988,0.0,0.0,0.06040583103403556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295751078779736,0.0,0.0,0.09369403199427537,0.0,0.15230622905285024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447616917857783,0.0,0.0,0.1847745274130539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AHRocks187,2019/01/17,"How do I get out of this? Hi, I'm Andrew, 20 year old guy in my 3rd year at university in the UK and I really could do with some advice.
The last year has been one of the hardest of my life. My ex broke up with me in April, my relationship with my family has deteriorated to the point where I spent Christmas alone 200 miles away from anyone I care about, and I just don't what to do. I have very few friends - I'm always told that I'm a great person, but it takes me time to relax and open up with someone and i just find that people don't seem to give me a chance. I'm so lonely and for someone who spent 2 years in a beautiful relationship which of course wasn't perfect but was the happiest I've ever been, the lack of any form of physical contact with someone is crushing.
In December I had a day where I was very suicidal and if it wasn't for my ex talking to me and relaxing me then I wouldn't be writing this today. But then when I went to the hospital that night after 4 hours and 4 different appointments I was told that what I was feeling wasn't real.
To make things worse it's now exam season. I remember going through exams in June thinking how by now I'd hopefully be in a better place. But I'm not, I've got an exam in 7 hours time I'm so scared for, another 24 hours from now, and then 3 more in a weeks time. I know I can't keep doing this, but I also don't know how to stop or just get to where I want to be.

If you've read this far, wow you're a lovely person and I thank you even for doing that. Any advice or comments you can give me would be hugely appreciated, and if you'd like to talk to me privately please just send me a message, I promise there's a lot more to me than this!!

Have a great day :)",3.563242269239712,3.4307816925133743,5.328209718670077,85.82433503836319,71.6470588235294,8.643385259242036,25.61915833527087,8.456263369488248,1.3469457335503376,1339,35,314,20,23,462,181,374,0.09,0.7170000000000001,0.193,0.9918,1,3,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,0,2,21,17,0,1,18,0,33,2,0,4,2,58,63,31,1,9,15,2,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,3,18,18,0,2,7,3,2,3,9,3,0,1,16,1,38,14,49,39,7,56,0,2,0,1,25,23,0,9,31,208,56,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195998844683732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038672212247432,0.0,0.08019958128903695,0.08344692564152524,0.0,0.0,0.13639737420752507,0.10515979955615216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701230927913163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422305948690954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869581636266759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224941238935972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007111252828378,0.0,0.0,0.12935380405834407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477870537926526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623870325438028,0.0907154502478478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454178043811227,0.0,0.050708186004618704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166061957775384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748158753729327,0.0,0.10479177200946932,0.19240910590276844,0.05699548685574344,0.0,0.08020877892541696,0.22113382880400886,0.0,0.09930002540010767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960774809476566,0.2962878639848886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913980868224718,0.0,0.0,0.11023036735969828,0.08174739574916874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083576546217198,0.048995225812160384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526053126366588,0.09051304991312853,0.0,0.06694243773417985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411267747043096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523447237880157,0.0,0.06795715445188534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952646832064265,0.17513370658137425,0.10477870537926526,0.11008515261444826,0.09480375311410584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003142686973479,0.11414870910408648,0.06424650320498397,0.0,0.0,0.21534169150780846,0.11360576800186654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100404911936598,0.0,0.0,0.09129763624464957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549188783366541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384453088578334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969784249615208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540344055374236,0.16121399188817734,0.0,0.09233091491261912,0.0,0.0,0.06662631267936554,0.06425994321537205,0.0,0.0,0.17543469523016988,0.0,0.09506047257159983,0.19165730004042425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654947696358181,0.059151947373746676,0.0,0.08044428611931477,0.0,0.0,0.09296717385053707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220115280692946,0.07124109947234311,0.0,0.0,0.2583264936164992
mentalhealth,RetardedRattleSnake,2019/01/17,"Is it normal to be forwarded onto different therapists / psychatrists multiple times during your first evaluation thing? So I went to my GP and spoke about *some* not all my issues, mostly because he seemed to cut it short or wanted us gone I dunno. I just feel really awkward talking about this shit.

Moving on; He referred me to a mental health group specialising in Depression and Anxiety. Which is weird because I'm not depressed, or at least I don't ever feel sad or hopeless.

When I spoke for like an hour or not about some of my stuff, I couldn't remember all of them. He immediately forwarded me onto a different group, a group that deals with other things like psychosis.

He told me that they aren't equipped to deal with hallucinations and delusions etc. As far as I'm aware, I'm not delusional but I have been having hallucinations. That's the main reason for asking help.

Now, I went to this new fella. I can't remember if he's a therapist or psychatrist. But, after our 2 hour session he told he's gonna go talk to a psychatrist. He never told me if he's going to call me back or anything.

I don't know if I should expect a call or not. I also don't know if they're the same group or building etc.

I've been moved around talking about the same shit and not getting any answers and it's starting to annoy me.

He asked why I sent there and if I went there for a diagnosis. I didn't really awnser.

I don't know why I went. I feel sick. I'm self aware enough to know something isn't right. I don't feel myself anymore. I know there's something wrong.

But it's it normal for this to happen? To be moved around a lot?

I've told him that I've been told by people that they think I'm schizophrenic, bipolar, depressed, etc literally everything at this point. I told him I haven't self diagnosed and I don't do drugs which he kept asking for some reason.

I was simply saying that's what done have asked if I am. Now I just want a fucking name to whatever is happening to me. I feel like it's been getting a lot worse since I opened up about it.

I feel like I'm out of the loop on my own fucking treatment. Is it normal? ",2.1621428571428574,4.151683036866364,3.812928571428575,87.05082142857144,78.07834101382487,7.012811059907834,23.06198156682027,7.993328176185818,1.1864241474654371,1674,53,349,29,40,558,192,434,0.09,0.8540000000000001,0.056,-0.9425,2,0,3,0,0,1,47.0,2,1,3,1,19,18,6,1,15,0,30,10,2,2,4,80,80,29,0,14,25,0,6,4,0,2,6,3,0,2,25,13,0,1,19,0,0,13,19,14,0,1,22,9,49,4,44,53,17,42,0,5,0,2,48,18,4,22,19,224,74,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402809444494496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04594344569685442,0.0,0.05168358514661789,0.0,0.06700184583522842,0.0,0.0,0.055596521598935834,0.12028630838145665,0.2526397292406472,0.0,0.0,0.05194984174300538,0.0,0.08236848763899844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379736152447873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930378434815,0.1745692369663555,0.06857246886797072,0.0,0.14117265200295614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913783137391823,0.0,0.0,0.07834871211454239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698080397681456,0.22604339456159184,0.0,0.06111232546143484,0.0,0.0,0.06071900646823646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496366329263213,0.09653044617866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574669129633977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124917157141176,0.07059512860517496,0.0,0.07679235969274728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948702531419142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718136349542724,0.0,0.0,0.045284368142910376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330669349388469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051559226896102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564737504511325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202655899115814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148750145948508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680850772233762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21541830683647115,0.0,0.0,0.052106810038745635,0.06525033620056404,0.0,0.0,0.19858478887455866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046837932773155774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386649462076838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656195174901306,0.13892685895278792,0.0,0.0,0.1530657159162596,0.05769628397722091,0.0,0.053726808356266136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061504527010547275,0.1409606378879146,0.0,0.1386997313957057,0.05588673030774136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402272219277177,0.0,0.0,0.0478196581292668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734059018819857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290767307481588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568858577122577,0.08976836676954726,0.043290030013429896,0.0,0.0,0.03939506138091447,0.0,0.0,0.3873416247771361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126694344678749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969784749357699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25051698117845617,0.12192565644444155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884990479357828,0.0,0.07386678315683913,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tap1336,2019/01/17,"Hey guys, weird question. Anyone like their anus hole licked? ",4.149000000000001,7.0930099000000055,0.5200000000000031,100.24000000000002,100.0,2.0,15.0,3.1291,-1.358,49,1,8,0,2,12,10,10,0.139,0.6559999999999999,0.205,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062150984687965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5752337495424029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838237688262987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6507991206298683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rosalie2222,2019/01/17,"What is going on with me? (history of bipolar depression and anxiety) I (22F) had been depressed since I was 15. I also started taking birth control at 14/15.  

I stopped using birth control in June (2018) in an attempt to see if it was causing my depression, and in September I felt like my depression was gone. I completely 100% blamed birth control for my depression. I have been feeling better than I have in the last 7 years. However, when something goes the wrong way (getting into an argument with a family member for example), I have an episode.

I don’t know what kind of episode. I feel embarrassed saying this, but I punch myself in the leg, throw whatever is in my hand, pull my hair, scream, etc. usually while crying at the same time. My heart beats extremely fast and I can’t catch my breath. I don’t know what’s going on with me, and I am so desperate to know what this is and if other people experience it. 

I also want to mention, I can barely remember what happened after. I have no control over my emotions while it is going on. I have control over my actions to an extent, I wouldn’t throw or punch something if I knew it would cause permanent damage. Afterwards, I feel extremely sad, I want to self harm, and most of all, I feel ashamed and regretful that anyone had to see me act that way.

This is such a big secret of mine, I would be so embarrassed if anyone other than my family and my boyfriend knew I did this. 

One more thing: I do see a therapist, and I used to take medication for bipolar depression (in 2016). But one made it impossible for me to function throughout the day and another made my depression significantly worse, which scared me and I wanted nothing to do with medication after that. 

I guess my overall question is, does anyone know what this is? Thank you in advance for any responses! ",4.889340974212036,6.222532627507165,5.880761031518627,77.76474040114616,69.4297994269341,9.480848137535816,31.725042979942693,9.791249743138472,3.174756699140402,1433,62,264,34,25,474,173,349,0.211,0.747,0.041,-0.9965,1,0,2,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,0,9,6,21,0,4,12,0,31,9,5,11,1,60,63,25,0,11,7,0,7,1,0,3,4,2,0,1,23,16,0,6,14,0,0,11,5,17,0,2,14,12,51,4,42,45,6,48,0,10,3,0,6,17,0,8,19,193,74,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277714891511962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432601809976891,0.08376866794170895,0.06111346982249414,0.0,0.0,0.16757690961396762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065371387224581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413226826830354,0.0,0.0,0.08376018253355026,0.0,0.4480012956629866,0.0,0.0,0.08775230996232691,0.05152061864369721,0.0,0.4816469442867285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990980474460193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986231877925617,0.0,0.0,0.0890953167749817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814498579618122,0.15062103666162538,0.0,0.1615734230485726,0.0,0.07670421549036475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04173775144843813,0.0,0.13620516678653627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800472925820138,0.0,0.07064396456827726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466668641000724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319019885961221,0.17561560747396748,0.06511870960684962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039028838197778776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118235218319825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095584747925235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665389849022942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826723385876544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538370805663002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949191846530903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049659562093026,0.0,0.0,0.06352948758924208,0.07998099809273887,0.0,0.1909792051187212,0.0,0.08333974573633386,0.0,0.0,0.06608349626774145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300209971013698,0.0,0.0,0.05654455327962427,0.0,0.0,0.06678925498283385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201304262668558,0.0,0.0,0.07354937708814688,0.0,0.09275516688398296,0.05307348898129132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046582853879581713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799373828890613,0.08798443632351248,0.0,0.141358575954996,0.12682144133333076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814118557555074,0.11349911336250422,0.0873440844038586,0.0,0.051444721166360716
mentalhealth,idontwannabearose,2019/01/17,"should i admit myself into a psych ward? i'm 13 years old. im a male, and im in 8th grade. i suffer from various mental issues including depression, anxiety, social anxiety, BPD. i had a private counselor from may - december of this year. after i texted her a paragraph about how my thought process works, she then texted my legal guardian about how concerned she was about me, and stopped treating me immediately. she wants me admitted into a psych ward. i'm to the point in my mental health where i feel as i cant do anything except log onto my computer, eat, and sleep. its like im two humans in one, my real self, and my dark self. i know whats best for me, but my dark self always overrules my thoughts. im on a 10mg anti depressant but i guess its not working. whatever",2.9461191066997543,4.7060028774193565,4.590322580645164,83.38856079404471,75.06451612903227,7.607940446650125,27.40694789081886,8.384062270229773,1.9895062034739448,606,24,119,11,13,204,101,155,0.105,0.8370000000000001,0.057,-0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,6,6,0,0,7,0,6,3,1,2,0,24,16,10,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,5,4,6,1,1,6,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,4,1,25,3,18,10,2,15,0,3,0,0,12,9,0,2,7,75,29,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631240318190337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19548285466783524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051413782628539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134083614147814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091810010249416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200911094084068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307375675570464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460284874130011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074978682793654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358103769805301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5520412642332955,0.13335558317234578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702174176432569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062420516519769376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25751822785027023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407000401944988,0.0,0.08657824536544136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078114018869235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542685056007093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998666280400017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785930064065731,0.13024239580111854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681895712274464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286549833567333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480982188219375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536030392787929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186031837358532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645555551075822
mentalhealth,dread_nuggets,2019/01/17,"Feeling the urge to starve/restrict calories due to obsessive fear of pregnancy(?)   Whenever I start to put on weight I become convinced that I'm somehow pregnant (regardless of whether or not I've had sex) and it's gotten to the point where some days I can't bring myself to eat(partially to avoid weight gain and partially because I don't want to feed ""it""). My therapist has suggested that this fear(or rather, my inability to stop thinking about it) might be related to my ocd, and while i recognize that I'm not pregnant and it's most likely due to mental illness, I just can't distract myself from it and I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind. I just can't seem to fully convince myself that I'm okay. I feel like I don't have control over my mind or body. I feel like I don't get to choose whether or not i eat or sleep, got to school/work, or even get out of bed. People have tried to tell me how ridiculous it is, or that even if I am pregnant it's not the end of the world, but none of it makes me feel any less paranoid.

 Anyways, I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to cope until I can get further into therapy and (hopefully) learn to deal with or even fix the problem permanently.",7.016871584699452,5.564653118852462,7.331803278688523,78.71306010928964,64.94262295081967,10.592349726775957,35.90710382513661,9.516144504307137,3.1074792349726765,947,38,196,15,12,310,133,244,0.091,0.8340000000000001,0.075,-0.5619,0,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,13,16,1,4,5,1,15,8,2,4,0,54,39,21,0,6,19,0,7,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,14,9,4,3,9,0,0,2,11,7,0,0,3,8,26,9,31,34,4,19,0,1,1,1,3,9,0,15,12,129,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839687911167787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239346232503078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385846642667289,0.13381252527266274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458227550552412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589207958508662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813865804384809,0.12491140937878488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479553827433454,0.0,0.0,0.10731245888778024,0.0,0.0,0.2400765908914797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726790487653148,0.3063125692423852,0.2596717842927609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990446779199974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969033171338494,0.0,0.13347222193321387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033995943998825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367720824841449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174451185485804,0.1355478834930648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087573904472671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210153505062722,0.12853240504705624,0.2446756296176052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399760598695269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453606795383098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159344711801402,0.0,0.12180001494583904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262114381140808,0.0,0.11030019303513676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124824723321052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575819990661596,0.0,0.0,0.10129580920211792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589983272196052,0.0,0.13855787276206485,0.14067696502387134,0.0,0.07763491403095164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226019359933942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146374738821205,0.0,0.0,0.295082296418672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820646639030348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Woozeworth,2019/01/17,"Paranoid? Ok so I don’t know if this is the right place for this but oh well. Is it normal to like question what if everything people say to you is true or not? Ok well maybe not everything but for example a person who supposedly cares about me says, “I miss you.” My first thought isn’t “aww that’s sweet!” But it’s like “No you don’t, why are you lying.” or someone could be like, “you look pretty.” Again I think, “No I don’t stop lying.” or someone tells me they love me and I think they say it to just make me feel better. It because they actually mean it. It’s like I think everyone has ulterior motives or they’re lying to me. I don’t know if this is normal or severe enough to be labeled a mental illness, but yeah. Does anyone else deal with a similar issue? Sorry if this is jumbled I’m bad at putting my thoughts together.",-0.6370822566752778,1.5357520058139578,1.7130490956072355,94.1272136089578,98.7093023255814,4.641171403962101,18.579672695951764,6.42735559955562,0.1245445305770887,643,21,140,9,27,216,97,172,0.18,0.579,0.241,0.9352,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,5,3,3,6,15,0,0,4,3,15,2,0,2,1,35,30,15,0,7,16,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,0,1,13,2,0,1,11,0,0,1,9,2,2,1,2,6,22,13,10,25,1,7,0,1,1,1,17,3,0,10,7,89,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.12698801236121274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098985277189857,0.13333346208628333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086530321896664,0.07932598010807106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150893229472884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267610724199402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389813754953037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415821442068587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138775536977674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087068347657663,0.0,0.0,0.13445897412372804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434469743965235,0.2339047292159184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579758814433907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068842770517004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582180831466506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303198130321604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542995869529852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927634317342327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744731667840735,0.0,0.08686271969994028,0.0,0.13073297666434314,0.1417496115780117,0.0,0.0,0.13114033379243176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549993484736557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021568878988108,0.11362441061077587,0.13595805028825111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238889232908874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081649308747534,0.14577527126245274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113022482932397,0.0,0.31045356201888885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700974864622268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205172864395017,0.0,0.0,0.14566977079276347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879442445201253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373926958381225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501459593217483,0.0,0.20661721221673346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340048187712783,0.0,0.11742199565645545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shaburu07,2019/01/17,"How to talk to a loved one who's not doing so great mentally I have a sister who isn't doing so great. My other sister, dad, and I don't know the best way to talk to her as she seems to be dismissive of the idea that she might be losing it.

​

My sister was talked into starting a contracting business with her now ex (although, it seems that she hasn't been exactly honest about the nature of her relationship with him). Long story short, that did not go well. The ex was the one mainly handling the actual work, managing employees, and buying all the stuff, but overall just did a bad job with it. He also convinced my sister to put the business all under her name (first as a sole-proprietorship, then as an LLC), so she's been left with massive credit card debts. She was supposed to have left the business and left it all to the ex, but it seems that that hasn't 100% happened...

​

During my sister's period of active involvement with the business, she suffered mentally because 1) the stress of running a business really got to her, especially with the ex making bad choices for the business 2) she used to have her finances together and had been saving up a chunk of money after making some financially savvy moves, so wrecking her finances just messed with her a lot, and 3) the ex was abusive (he'd apparently been physically violent toward her on some occasions). It was apparent that she wasn't doing great so mentally because talking to her over the phone, she just didn't sound very present, her train of thought was just extremely difficult to follow, and she would ramble on about a whole bunch of conspiracy theories. She'd also become more withdrawn, becoming harder to reach over the phone (I'm in Northern California while she's in Hawaii) and just ghosting all her friends. 

​

I also got to see her when I visited Hawaii in November and when she visited Southern California (where my dad and other sister are), but she also just doesn't look healthy--she looks like a skeleton. She was always on the skinnier side, but she used to have healthier, a bit rounded cheeks, but those are just gone. She also seemed not exactly present most of the time whenever we had conversations. She also behaved a bit strangely because she believes that she has morgellons disease, a scientifically, completely unsubstantiated condition that conspiracy theorists claim that the medical community is trying to hide. As a ""symptom"" of the disease, she seems to think that she feels air shooting out of her pores. She also seems to think that when washing her hands at the sink, air bubbles come out of the stream of water hitting her hand because bacteria is releasing it...

​

This decline all happened rapidly. She still had things together fine for the most part just last May. She's just a completely different person compared to then.

​

She's now trying to rebuild by making money through Airbnb and going back to bartending, but as far as my dad, other sister, and I can tell, she does not have a financially feasible plan. Ideally, we want her to give up on the Airbnb and come back to California, at least for some time, so that she can pull away from the whole mess and get better where we can be available to her. Though it's true that her finances are in shambles, in her mental state right now, she doesn't seem capable of adequately dealing with the mess. We also don't want her seeing her ex, whom she seems to be at least trying to be friends with. We don't want that obviously because he had abused her, but also he might use her for more money. We're also starting to believe that he got her into drugs...

​

I've been rambling on now and I don't know where to start with my questions... However, I don't know how to reason with someone who can't really think straight anymore...

​

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

​

​",9.559156538648516,8.171435615702482,8.97483714146816,68.74936801166751,59.92286501377411,11.846961594555175,39.67250040512072,10.718039707386858,4.251713142116351,3131,133,537,60,34,999,301,726,0.094,0.8170000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.6920000000000001,8,0,1,1,1,0,132.0,5,1,0,7,44,28,1,1,44,0,61,9,3,9,9,109,110,53,1,6,20,16,4,1,2,5,4,1,0,1,34,36,1,0,19,0,9,12,17,10,1,3,25,9,77,18,93,71,23,76,0,2,5,1,107,37,0,18,26,402,111,7,0.0,0.09327732834964114,0.03841256522834193,0.0,0.0,0.03846502337821888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147854033715351,0.03275313128320878,0.3838477009050269,0.4304726817477885,0.026768158741374386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039037473530316516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369827913198113,0.060535364262469964,0.06573284530780629,0.1199764579563632,0.08694658088168816,0.0,0.08869714002512963,0.041308992042971865,0.034813334287203464,0.08594830237298115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781539940108706,0.08254261735682426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04058147746807732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0411259092721322,0.0,0.0,0.03444678657554606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04564853008419226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019903092421611826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033482108824203737,0.0,0.0,0.06082344170574323,0.0,0.02056551897891764,0.03776053256168233,0.044741748103602014,0.0,0.09444645129871918,0.13019338825777144,0.0,0.0,0.06961706098948257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444359841363342,0.0,0.0,0.03906165834532627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489855076935114,0.032086061463006924,0.0,0.0,0.1283038950841194,0.0,0.0,0.019230751174343887,0.0,0.0,0.03483497588097393,0.06610993560752684,0.04403707721477066,0.0,0.03346497611848906,0.035526603093608486,0.0,0.07882523297303633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03965403527058242,0.15867439869960367,0.08351574808539147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04183659094882641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05334671311817098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04262624362162384,0.0,0.0,0.03437021340017022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03957064119857368,0.04409551745813882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504338329490906,0.04047167291746437,0.0,0.042261081750348484,0.0,0.03361574790189073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273435648619315,0.28667644184888785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03335210344595327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358390497363855,0.0,0.031435306156061424,0.0,0.045090131164110384,0.0,0.04506116517619018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04091318133006715,0.0,0.12655380651617534,0.03440495705598294,0.036240119745369184,0.0,0.0,0.026150997766866208,0.07566657513877052,0.038673902749119166,0.031249788834389326,0.04590571040877354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017458636500444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199086241833792,0.0,0.03247855972460766,0.06965187092617148,0.03124448093348237,0.0,0.0,0.035392023221963505,0.0,0.0,0.08789466550126795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028656699545372158,0.0,0.0,0.05592462672145822,0.0,0.4304726817477885,0.0
mentalhealth,_paging_doctorfaggot,2019/01/17,This is a throwaway I want to kill myself but I’m scared there is nothing once I’m dead. I used to do dxm and it would take me through the universe and that makes me think there is life after death. I also feel like there is a war I’m going to be a part of between heaven and hell when I die. I see orbs come out of me and others have seen it happen in broad daylight. I feel crazy all the time. I have other friends who have seen the same things and also feel like there is a war in the after life we will all be part of. They have seen monsters I have seen in shadows and when we are together. I had them describe what they saw and it was exactly what I see. I’m losing it. I don’t know how I can do this. We are normal people with regular jobs that did not grow in the same parts of the country. We all happened to hang and one day we talked about it when no one else was around. We just had a feeling about each other and went into it. I can never find anything online where anyone else feels like this. I’m losing it,1.2863777089783284,2.7537820769230805,2.7218814003334124,96.26514646344368,78.90950226244344,5.195618004286736,19.323886639676115,5.399115186594226,-0.4367610859728508,793,17,187,3,19,258,115,221,0.188,0.7090000000000001,0.103,-0.9783,1,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,6,0,3,2,15,12,4,1,11,0,26,2,0,3,5,45,54,16,6,3,3,0,5,3,1,2,2,0,0,0,19,21,0,0,8,0,0,5,4,7,0,2,11,12,26,5,22,39,9,22,2,2,7,0,12,9,1,0,11,140,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20078633740287105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777950422326412,0.1286291255756378,0.10330756672868728,0.11175596487229374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081403832533012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096200793243387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028924114926566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20974277396273128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173804270722139,0.26905439107928164,0.0,0.0,0.11474000109032295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969908067331748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134647631771708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22202672911634905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245776841625556,0.0,0.13888985477334662,0.0,0.06899272844380885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773432438882636,0.18399544828537132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808911515330059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379798668165292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682310332162547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300116828623933,0.12045766726011847,0.0,0.0,0.13369450605345135,0.1701364012555073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40783819273506455,0.0,0.08703265467401426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568603352398752,0.0,0.2000760126307654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438939962664514,0.10090316697746934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340226396778556,0.08044006235787393,0.0,0.0,0.0732025640335645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084250386358606,0.0,0.0,0.07404591565520748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637553486016122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917901568621238,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snorgabord,2019/01/17,"I'm *trying* to get help. I was looking forward to seeing a new therapist today. They called me last week to set up an appointment and had already thought ahead to give me the latest appointment possible as I was working and they were trying to accommodate. Awesome first impression over the phone. 

I show up today about ten minutes early, sign the release form, everything is good. Receptionist says the doctor might be a few minutes behind, but they'll make up for it to make sure I get my full time. I waited fifteen minutes into my appointment time - my appointment is only half an hour. While I'd still probably get 30 minutes, I had to leave work over an hour early to be able to get there on time. I felt it was so disrespectful of my time that I just left. 

I feel a little worse about this because the only reason I was referred to this therapist was because the last one I went to broke confidentiality with me. I'm beginning to lose faith in being able to get help. I'm in a place where I feel comfortable enough to ask for help, and I can't get it. I'm trying to help myself and it seems I can't do it. ",4.597837837837837,5.454601306306309,5.755873873873874,80.15624324324327,69.72072072072072,8.802882882882882,28.763963963963967,9.029198982220553,2.257037477477477,878,31,173,16,15,293,118,222,0.055,0.813,0.132,0.9459,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,5,7,7,0,0,13,0,18,1,0,3,1,21,42,8,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,8,6,0,1,7,1,0,2,2,2,0,4,11,6,25,5,33,26,4,37,1,2,2,0,12,15,0,2,21,115,33,3,0.2190867607835914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088384423105895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240827339694893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335532558838829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185603906418612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212229158147158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318759473608793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845052689820306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107768490727941,0.0,0.10517882387215137,0.0,0.0,0.09317754340099962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433913701105266,0.1050839921727866,0.0,0.09187979022215774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936984752050549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157563277045972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785849511590654,0.0,0.11599062301942213,0.11901920331529127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979124523118516,0.0,0.0,0.09198885032376863,0.12255102254689144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462421140596256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116208215598836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579767939040527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422942955844812,0.16662535400346495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444951738940545,0.0,0.0,0.12349370219639805,0.0,0.0,0.11810629161368112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262883946700687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711329283690121,0.0,0.0,0.08729189154299123,0.09972417934705066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874814850838411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324333962661117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543766153803618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696520791675769,0.2555025041239433,0.0,0.20766863208030034,0.0,0.0,0.2231182940090708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878690921954526,0.0,0.0,0.10154781109136024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159497771161182,0.0,0.11163406317204468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bearpaws9,2019/01/17,Help me get through this Does anyone else just feel very alone and life and just sorta off. I have bad anxiety and I can’t pin point my triggers. Nothing sets them off I just don’t feel right. I always had severe health anxiety and I know that has something to do with it. But lately Iv had bad mental health anxiety. I constantly worry about developing or already having a serious mental health issue. Does anyone else have worries like this? Tell me I’m not going crazy ,1.874523809523812,4.656959373626378,3.0576098901098945,86.64780677655679,87.13186813186813,5.670695970695971,20.770146520146522,7.1686216300943375,0.9355706959706956,377,12,68,6,12,121,63,91,0.238,0.6890000000000001,0.073,-0.9221,0,1,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,9,5,0,1,0,16,15,6,0,0,6,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,2,10,1,6,13,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,3,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107260836716806,0.1503112575571886,0.0,0.11333773371099624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126011132891949,0.0,0.0,0.1904825697693234,0.2791267346932093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274595260264957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719475318294067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383967926816357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275721589481184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377438614586711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116416728241001,0.0,0.07741135173433293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4343549730995864,0.0,0.0,0.09129877410731366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216797967214706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485752127255016,0.0,0.1536509513811548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620923792513117,0.06654538574690701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27453553358099386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306972864062061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876259302119408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163227006070614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387866806134254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486120713370896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905365100613485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238761636422212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766559829415266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liltah115,2019/01/17,"Why am I in such a dark place? I get into this deep dark hole, and think only if all the bad in my life. I am normally so positive and outgoing but when I get into this “dark place” I call it, I push everything that makes me happy away. I start to hate myself even, and normally I’m such an advocate for self love. My boyfriend is amazing and tries so hard to just hold me get me to talk and do everything right when I’m in this place but then I push him away. I tell him to go home, I basically force him to leave and he does thinking thats what I truly want, then once he’s gone I’m even more sad. 

I don’t understand myself, I hate myself so much right now that I’m thinking I’m useless, worthless. Does anyone have tricks that help them snap out of fits like this? I hate who they make me turn into, because I understand this isn’t how I normally act and I hate it because I feel out of control. But the thing is it’s only usually a few hours, then I snap out and have so much regret for my actions. 

Any advice? Just want some perspective.",2.3115837104072408,3.447230837104076,3.896289592760181,90.28253393665159,75.47058823529412,7.552941176470588,23.40723981900452,8.124751697461798,1.034527601809955,809,23,186,13,17,270,113,221,0.181,0.6809999999999999,0.138,-0.9092,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,1,16,14,5,0,5,0,9,2,0,4,1,39,36,22,0,7,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,15,14,0,2,6,0,0,6,2,10,0,0,1,2,34,4,20,35,6,33,0,4,0,1,14,18,0,2,10,118,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362093806834627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211075089880926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414554577619901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19925590535919185,0.0,0.0885388658902172,0.12928184649533445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827856779804183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893273596665405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18559241746981006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400766739972401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19060360335811588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053616946671511664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620437332149365,0.0,0.06026490434863699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288141817202944,0.09499089916713564,0.4187696901268402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107629262963533,0.0,0.10636664005183044,0.0,0.1044279162424709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228091610984668,0.0,0.0,0.07489909930666906,0.051805726382915765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570512677826913,0.0,0.14156487923774627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590301767302234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31168968773725153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129290055386904,0.0,0.16129620574159548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323672981391049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18111494680309506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062271550486484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505556893095354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523083437635302,0.0926835241795504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044818076362708,0.20383820956516646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199411412193707,0.11534093330202988,0.0,0.2207824980313292,0.0,0.0,0.11678794052317895,0.0,0.12509013071638425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956844932577716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,___51000,2019/01/17,"[Please help] I keep worrying about having BPD... Long story short, i keep getting these annoying thoughts that i might have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). the reason why i'm worried like this is because the way i feel about certain people changes from when i meet them for the first time after i hang out with them. like, i met this girl a while ago and at first i liked her a lot and thought of her as a potential girlfriend, but after hanging out with her for a while my feelings for her changed and i've come to the conclusion that she's just a good friend of mine, nothing more or less and we wouldn't work out as a couple although i still like her a lot.

And i'm not sure if i'm this is normal or not. my opinion of these people doesn't shift randomly and doesn't go to extremes like ""Idealizing them"" and then directly switching over to hating them like they're the scum of the earth, and i've been told it's alright to change my opinion of some people after a while of hanging out with them.

I'm not asking for a diagnoses but i just want to know if you guys think this is normal behavior. if it helps : i'm 19, i have panic Disorder and i tend to worry about getting conditions like these, i've had depression a year ago, i'm not self harming/suicidal, my sense of self/identity has been the same for as long as i can remember and i've had the same goals and values for years, i have plenty of stable relationships that have been going on for a while and my opinion of the said people stopped ""changing"" after i spent some time with them, in fact, it would only get better after i hang out with them more.

Thanks for your help!",5.7363269200190805,5.540611187311177,6.070071553506125,82.5719669263794,67.03625377643505,9.26449356018445,30.411989187470198,8.841846274778883,2.185836253776435,1297,43,268,19,19,417,158,331,0.091,0.745,0.165,0.9738,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,2,7,7,7,19,2,1,20,1,20,1,0,1,3,69,49,30,0,9,13,0,2,7,2,3,1,1,0,4,13,24,0,3,9,0,1,7,7,4,0,2,11,3,38,15,50,35,9,41,0,1,0,0,31,10,0,14,30,185,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917691428042258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393629802655839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473173951891267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940700936033072,0.0,0.0,0.2261606283537685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.379919979092996,0.07734131425894603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934473564280297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733117587017763,0.09112928042820036,0.0,0.0,0.20580141179145056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079538507768796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274113688009694,0.0,0.0,0.06936720805037629,0.0,0.14072593661267654,0.0,0.1020530921040278,0.07530689854335991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890067615124071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886435111338897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18054178090574846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596090077905543,0.0,0.0,0.04934316054397609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30704887332439096,0.0,0.0,0.15891274492855215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526629796480531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524706446158143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759393063803135,0.08615055743461106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828508531827426,0.0,0.10534265332766556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248980804152191,0.07839627869793217,0.0,0.0985563141822355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923133212025206,0.0,0.09639484935406327,0.10170822766009054,0.0,0.08540552892090375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18732942989348605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717019412615346,0.0750637822829967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820956571708646,0.0,0.08462073850777964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266141657387346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753022094675834,0.0,0.1425575760143626,0.10470801636090377,0.0,0.0,0.0857928459447124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295716789598108,0.07126668102157845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101645981939938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536411566507107,0.27354126244775284,0.0,0.06378026478170704,0.0,0.0,0.11563642535715328
mentalhealth,psychoweeb,2019/01/17,"How can I make them understand? So, here’s the deal: I usually take medication for depression/anxiety, ADD and insomnia. But lately I haven’t been able to afford the medicine I need, and it was okay in the beginning but now it’s getting out of control.
My biggest problem is that I can’t sleep at night, usually because my thoughts go crazy and my anxiety completely hates me. I usually fall asleep between 6am and 9am and sleep until lunchtime (I’m currently studying from home, so I study during the afternoons)
I live with my boyfriend and he just gets really mad at me if I don’t fall asleep, says that it’s so easy for me to fall asleep if I just “stop thinking”. I try to explain that my anxiety during the nights is tearing me apart completely but he really doesn’t seem to understand me. How can I explain this to him in a way that he may be able to understand?",5.102539184952981,5.5778017931034505,6.1089759665621735,79.43816614420064,68.42528735632183,10.695088819226752,34.20898641588297,10.637119530657019,3.655777011494254,688,32,139,19,11,229,99,174,0.135,0.8270000000000001,0.038,-0.9467,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,9,4,2,0,6,1,12,7,5,4,0,32,29,17,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,8,9,0,2,8,0,0,4,4,3,0,0,3,1,24,1,18,24,0,24,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,4,12,88,32,0,0.2594375713944179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977035480073045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907536775477958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720153576006931,0.0,0.1454906483716516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337343721210566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554542316270815,0.0,0.07372217528231333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280704451128412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011851867759786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463284404190531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454406432895925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658829673576582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067802948153295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618483593371507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434645859705915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412335900755653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620235151395146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315758491724004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809111060186844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596249341057557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845071326559208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753238314223324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311856005977382,0.0,0.10298222611461427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880705405236797,0.0,0.0,0.4051254920684391,0.0,0.0,0.4286007477404174,0.0,0.0,0.10296473417397137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Langer2,2019/01/17,"i've never felt so alone and depressed in my life so this is my first ever proper post on reddit, it's currently 0450 GMT. I haven't slept well for over a month and a half now.

i've gone through a lot of bad shit in my life, a lot of bullying, my dad left me when i was a child but i didn't know so I thought my stepdad was my actual dad, which they only told me when i was 7, i didn't understand why and got angry at everyone for keeping this from me and why my biological dad left. about a year after that my step-dad left me and my four siblings so it was just my mum and us kids for a few years, we struggled a lot.

I remember feeling starved a lot, constantly checking the cupboards for food but finding nothing, with my mum not noticing my decline in mental health because she had four other kids to take care of. I was so angry at the world, two father figures left me, for reasons no one told me, the kids at school saw me as a freak and so i got bullied, everyday, all day, without remorse because hey, when do nine and ten year old kids know when to stop.

I had a lot of resentment and anger issues and acted out a lot, swore so much that i'd be disgusted at it today. at one point my step-dad came back, asking to see his kids and he only meant his biological children - my three youngest siblings. this made me feel so unwanted, especially seeing them come back with privileges every week, like fast food and new toys and stuff that i couldn't have, why? because i wasn't wanted, again. three times i'd been left by a father figure. by the time i finished primary school (11 years old) i had no friends, no father figure, emotional resentment and hatred towards the world and my mother was falling apart too. 

secondary school was a mess, bullied everyday by the same kids for four years straight, again i was the freak, poor, dirty kid who was ostracised because his family didn't have enough money for the latest trends and he didn't understand how to get along with people because he had no one there to teach him. again, my siblings had all the privileges and nice treatment whilst i had to stand there and watch.

i fucked my GCSEs by getting kicked out of schools, i got 4 gcses out of a possible 8. my options for my future were limited. just before my gcses though, my biological dad came back, i was so confused and didn't know what to do. I didn't know what he looked like, sounded like, acted like or was like at all for my whole life! 15 whole years this man didn't want to be in my life and poof, he appears out of nowhere. craving some sort of father figure i got attached quickly, and sometimes he'd say stuff about my council house background that would hurt but i'd bite my tongue, especially since he came from the same place. 

my dad was in the army and i had a somewhat interest in them, so along with my failed gcses, i decided to join up. it took a while but i finally got in, everyone else i knew went into sixth form or college or whatever, i was the only one in the army. that made me feel alone, no one knew what i was going through, how i was feeling. i learned to have a thick skin whilst there and not to take people's shit. i was so used to just being abused and at the end of everyone's jokes. i'm not a big lad, i'm 6""2, 135 pounds and never had a fight before, despite my efforts in secondary school. sometimes i would fit in and sometimes i felt like no one whilst there, so i decided to leave, this brings us to december 2018. 

the consequences of me leaving were no job, which means no pay, going back to no routine, going back to a friendship group that knows i was struggling but still doesn't hold back on their ""jokes"".

this saturday just gone i stayed in whetherspoons (popular local pub) for five hours to drink with them, at the risk of me getting IDd (i'm 17) and i got absolutely smashed, and hateful, angry, sad, depressed and i didn't have the will to hold it back this time, like i could in front of my family and friends normally.

i got home at two in the morning, carried on drinking and wrote a jargon suicide letter, stating that i am sorry for being a burden on everyone and i hope life is better without me, i posted the paper under my mum's door, went downstairs and grabbed the biggest kitchen knife i could. poking into into my chest and pleading with myself to just push! push! push! if i just pushed then i wouldn't feel anything anymore and i'd be okay! but i didn't. i couldn't. i hate myself for not following through, and don't think it's long before i'll try again.

​

bis spater.

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mentalhealth,besseo8,2019/01/17,"How do i get help im tired of being the way i am, im no longer afraid of my parents finding out, i just want help. where do i start, im only 17, idk how to even begin with getting help, i dont really want to ask my parents to take me to a doctor cause i know they wont believe me. any ideas?",-2.579275362318839,-0.9126634202898511,1.081159420289854,100.96637681159422,96.2463768115942,3.646376811594204,14.913043478260873,5.033348758259628,-1.1689304347826086,220,5,59,1,9,80,45,69,0.098,0.74,0.162,0.4939,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,2,0,6,2,0,3,0,11,15,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,11,0,8,13,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511777296854027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825610461096487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19072318957429052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389955914514638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732676132226161,0.0,0.0,0.198397601798584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180936652587807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472096081048253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688603595554528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403990840366772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109911827941944,0.5485618181747854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303312822317117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874682181096628,0.0,0.0,0.3759359350451924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844657989854337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198188874269621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727922661481328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19456510823084336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19969417997908448,0.13436841500275096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brock4822,2019/01/18,"Is this normal? So I'm a very calm person.  I haven't ever physically hurt anyone or even got in a real crazy argument.  But sometimes when i get mad at someone, i fantasize myself beating them literately to death.  In my fantasizes, i don't stop beating up the person.  I even visualize myself getting an object and using that to harm the person even more in my thoughts.  Eventually in my thoughts, i draw blood and imagine myself torturing the person in many bad ways.  Then my rational perspective kicks into play and i wonder why i need to think like that.  I notice my heart rate going up and I feel shaky.  Am i normal for thinking like this? I have never harmed another person in this way before.  Can anyone help me out with this? I get very graphic sometimes in my thoughts and my brain seems to automatically plan out everything I need to do to inflict harm on that person.  Any help will be very helpful.  I'm a 23 year old male if its important.  Thanks ",3.35931905370844,5.6560625597826135,4.856176470588238,79.52411764705884,75.57608695652173,7.372890025575447,26.04092071611253,8.313332769828598,1.9637158567774944,757,28,136,14,17,253,111,184,0.17,0.6809999999999999,0.149,-0.8059,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,3,6,13,2,1,7,0,9,3,3,1,2,31,28,11,1,5,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,7,8,9,0,1,9,1,0,1,3,8,0,0,4,1,26,5,22,22,1,24,0,1,0,0,11,14,0,5,9,89,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725409614813713,0.11185542263277236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917579176825127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890670861153465,0.0,0.0,0.09077044511056193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908179450122112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21136855086555867,0.09649138805534764,0.0,0.0,0.0958703693767802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05393682377132327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671959436404789,0.0,0.0606244429650668,0.0,0.08531574711466101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640743225144646,0.21450099499533246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419512305298896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042295955933419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814917734511288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819262190346053,0.08227241214945645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090328127264212,0.0,0.12144735417289433,0.11193484994408226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5588539018594253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141666448313433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971106423806506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038326747726788,0.0,0.21100367047227397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918299081264426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820971087061524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670286815020627,0.0,0.2540581610455624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213079482010253,0.0,0.26404796527654795,0.0,0.1693433388377174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625534408200367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568178152792008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869359594320669
mentalhealth,knee-gore,2019/01/18,"Not sure what I'm suffering from, anyone with similar issues have advice to overcome this without pharmaceutical help? I dont know if this is more of an anxiety attack thing or panic attack (if theres even a difference, I dont know) but it's been happening since late November at relatively random times. It starts with my heart rate increasing or a dull pain starting in my left hips that spreads down my leg and up my back and neck. My heart feels like its pounding out of my chest and my brain feels like it's on fire. The pain in my hip, leg and back gets pretty intense and sometimes my gut will feel upset. My joints and muscles get sore like I ran a marathon and exercised for hours. Aside from my most recent instance it leads to my muscles locking up and not being able to breath. When this happens I cant do anything but cry and shake. My most recent attack was different because at its peak I was stuck in counting and stacking coins perfectly and in the same way and repeating numbers in no specific order. Once that broke I was bent on pacing and had a severe stutter that has stayed with me very slightly. If anyone who shares similar experiences has advice for how you come down from this on your own and even prevent it I would appreciate the help. This shit is exhausting and frustrating",6.546029216467463,6.91088960557769,6.496956175298807,78.28652324037186,65.29482071713147,9.721221779548474,32.669588313413016,9.558583805096642,2.914048393094289,1045,40,195,19,15,331,153,251,0.248,0.657,0.095,-0.992,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,2,7,21,5,3,8,0,17,17,12,2,2,45,32,24,0,4,10,0,4,3,0,2,5,0,0,0,18,20,0,1,5,2,1,5,7,15,0,0,7,4,23,6,29,22,6,36,0,3,0,0,6,17,1,8,14,132,41,1,0.10811880463527188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21130488913913356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271058961180101,0.0,0.0,0.15119836417680793,0.0,0.08897256389564005,0.0,0.0,0.3690022464301293,0.0,0.16627337397800102,0.0,0.06590821978319862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069634300848665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931347767000649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876343002390115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259222778586636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534288676113978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282290153773042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576093730532976,0.0,0.0,0.16400434869055924,0.15448019126919374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297522596566688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912182037422705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25624260812909005,0.14493951140086792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647524369105624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128479418919101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188385349530597,0.0,0.1219627209522362,0.0,0.11747139758757573,0.0,0.0,0.15846415995907134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514299832050535,0.0,0.0,0.2300920621488957,0.12685412174166202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999569372597033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21350855205510333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214347444365466,0.11098239924913524,0.0894369924631957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693226237495992,0.0,0.1530540928105578,0.11524026007649425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190069383524902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718293295921203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063044944451222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920933694132509,0.0,0.08581967460336655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422266943986128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680449673284681,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sm170298,2019/01/18,"I think I have a dependent personality disorder. Hi, I'm 20 years old and my biggest problem is unability to deal with new tasks. To begin with I attended psychotherapy for 2 years but nothing really changed when it comes to my unability however I got to know some new things about me. However it wasn't the only reason why I was attending psychotherapy - I also have depression, social anxiety and OCD. Since it didn't really helped that much I decided to take part in group psychotheraphy. Tomorrow it's actually going to be our fifth meeting, on the last one I got some courage to talk about my past because on the individual theraphy it wasn't that tough and I was able to present my view why I think I'm struggling with all those diseases. The main reason I think is my overprotective mother. When I was a kid I couldn't leave my neighbourdhood and my mom did everything for me, I didn't have any responsibilities. I didn't need to think because my mother was doing it for me. I couldn't even tie my shoes for a long time or make the bed. Still, to this day I can't do some of the things. I didn't knew back then it was wrong for me and if I knew what the outcome would be... Now I ended up with all those diseases, I'm unresourceful and have low-self esteem. The worst part is dealing with new things and the reason why I don't see any purpose in my life. Each time I'm confronted with something new I must ask someone for advice or depend on other person because if I have to confront something alone I ran away or just stand there like an idiot and don't know what to do until someone guide me and take the first step. I must practice everything because I can't think independently on new problems, situations. I always remember of the origami lessons that I had in school, when I was looking around the class everyone was trying to do something while I was just looking at those papers and didn't know what to do with them. I can't make the first step without someone helping me.  I feel like I need to have someone operating my hands. I feel like an useless idiot. When I was younger everyone expected that I'm gonna be great at everything because I was good at all subjects but this potential is no more there. Even, when I joined school first I already had this problem with new tasks, I wasn't just aware of it. I can't go to work because of it because I know how it will all end.. with mockery. I had apprentice ships 2 times because of the school that I attended and I was in hotel already... it was all the same... I even heard from one of the female workers out there ""I bet your mom does everything for you in home"". Of course I said ""no"" but it was the truth. I also failed my exams to attend university so basically I'm sitting at home waiting till I can write those exams once again. I think I lost hope that anything is going to be better long time ago. My day is full of listening to music and fantasizing, I don't even want to sleep, just keep fantasizing. Suicide? I don't have enough courage. I'm basically seeking an answer for what's wrong with me for four years. At first I thought it's maybe avoidant personality disorder but I think it might be dependent personality disorder now or maybe I am just stupid. I don't know. Anyway, it must be a rare disease since I haven't meet anyone like me. I just wanted to get something off my chest.",4.184021141390687,5.495462535928144,5.342303556153002,81.04216852010269,71.09580838323353,8.506953440058657,29.201515336673587,8.957266950251167,2.286939472076256,2666,104,534,51,49,884,268,668,0.134,0.799,0.067,-0.9928,3,2,4,0,0,1,64.0,1,2,1,10,31,29,5,2,24,0,69,5,4,10,9,105,122,35,1,17,17,4,3,4,0,7,1,3,3,5,36,26,0,3,24,1,1,11,23,18,0,7,34,10,85,11,73,73,18,78,0,4,4,0,28,21,0,15,48,366,121,11,0.054959291340378524,0.0,0.053632340375122066,0.0,0.0,0.05370558342288328,0.04871809571935942,0.0,0.0,0.056921250973593275,0.12129788928692375,0.0879018508573113,0.04573053309222943,0.0,0.0,0.07474840549172347,0.0,0.04204370744519401,0.0,0.0,0.03842881437236555,0.0,0.04522681393802324,0.04892542133934467,0.0513795184442709,0.0,0.05163606336352575,0.04226030260615493,0.0,0.2680213910991621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860702697112733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813964289614972,0.04734256306150561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088839249162474,0.11332123223509158,0.04733635709882953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889643279773329,0.0,0.04809524621609389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735523869132058,0.05678763949923945,0.0,0.14520037438759434,0.0,0.0,0.1050319162088398,0.19757546904467652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055578138087263286,0.07852585742990413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699338055263592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028713961364250012,0.0,0.09370389541830923,0.04609724605039324,0.08791193182342508,0.06059281272610996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736761089866297,0.0,0.11025730064222228,0.054586977117146135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048850343370229365,0.0,0.0,0.1510209460551659,0.044799157761309306,0.0,0.05819395403424923,0.0,0.0,0.03881937281305034,0.10740133459149452,0.0,0.0,0.09727448673639158,0.09230392574938502,0.0,0.059994558756594485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337150747118801,0.0,0.11042799036449114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058303122967348964,0.0,0.12873531555531986,0.0,0.0,0.040401402832288484,0.08150323628447745,0.0,0.3184801562973527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273492230137746,0.0,0.05767053111381861,0.058529851600272985,0.0744836763397599,0.041799017624875125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903111355557272,0.052464862357830704,0.0,0.19195333327891664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577658581949586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041665869146196,0.16952191486486815,0.0,0.0,0.06225816341509665,0.0,0.05227887161577991,0.0,0.0,0.16686521091897766,0.04379543959484465,0.0,0.057334527044078674,0.0,0.0,0.0909257874608142,0.06177654617062524,0.054998982283303216,0.056024076334755854,0.18626731681224493,0.16924139016744594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04389056105823709,0.0,0.0,0.057455384250449285,0.0,0.06011654447243171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264509463953075,0.04417419655844105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953753322989146,0.246509863123958,0.0,0.04363153831184531,0.1281888190059521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03731375119748497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483282795738701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877663619129144,0.0,0.0,0.052978795625239834,0.0,0.04001101865779627,0.0,0.0,0.039041503709102345,0.12017871485321903,0.0,0.1061759451361705
mentalhealth,throwawayyhyhyhhh,2019/01/18,"I have trust issues and I think I'm deteriorating Today I've noticed that I am very propense to have trust issues. It stared when my last class ended, one of my friends went to search for me and other one called me, I went to hang out with them for a moment, I then asked them to come with me for an icecream, they did, but midway one of them said (we are 3) that he wanted to go for his money back at the campus, and asked the other one to go with him, leaving me to buy my icecream while they did this. I then thought that they could hide my backpack, so I decided to go for it (They did this once last year).

When I got my backpack I found one of them (A), the one who was asked to tag along with the money guy, I'll call him A and the money one B, so he said that we wanted his backpack, idk why did they got away from each other.
A called B and then he wanted to go to the bathroom, so I went with him and was going to wait outside, but he took some time, so I stood up and waited on some stairs that allowed me to see if someone came out, after not seeing him my dumb brain asumed that he just did this to have me waiting there and gi away, so I went for my icecream.

I bought my icecream, and after that I called B, he didn't answered, so somewhy I asumed that they did all of this just to get rid of me, I know It's silly, but at the time it felt logical. 
After being unable to contact any of them I decided to just go home, but then my phone rang, when I picked it up I heard B's voice asking me where I was, then he asked me to come with them and told me where they were. So there's where I realised that maybe I was just stupid for doing all of this.

At the end A just took too long in the bathroom and B just wanted a hotdog, everything came together, I was the one acting weird. I did have a nice time after this, but it made me realize that maybe there is indeed something wrong with me.

I'll mention other things that I've noticed about myself:
Today I was very clingy with some classmates, felt really numb minded, and was somewhy kinda moody.
Recently I've been sleeping more than usual.
I think that I'm getting progresively dumber.
I've also been getting super lazy over the past 4 months.

I'll also like to mention that this friendshil with A and B started like 6 months ago and it came from a mutual friend that was really mean and she was the one who encouraged them to do the backpack stuff, I also had issues like this one with our old friend group.

I may be missing something, and I have pretty bad writting skills because english is not my first language. So I'd like to apologize for the long text and any kind of mistake that I made.",3.829173686321704,4.203943447653431,4.6611251504211815,89.05390593662256,71.20216606498195,7.1663858804653024,24.775170477336545,6.691623216298621,0.7069572402727631,2066,52,457,14,36,669,220,554,0.077,0.8390000000000001,0.085,0.5362,1,0,2,0,0,0,56.0,3,0,14,3,29,23,2,0,24,0,36,3,2,4,2,86,92,43,0,7,14,0,2,4,3,1,1,5,1,1,38,38,0,3,13,0,5,19,3,9,0,11,44,10,77,14,68,44,7,71,0,1,3,0,57,16,1,6,40,320,115,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056351411551325024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251191474059955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646023820252917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971491749021173,0.0,0.1194531524487343,0.04888178959541407,0.053078711146636884,0.03875198602124805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709657006738476,0.2596503474824304,0.21812314571875854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952071157877098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050755870503810564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126091864052896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713306526140754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207529604425905,0.0,0.0,0.05407303379423671,0.0,0.06970177071132237,0.14734322901096367,0.0,0.09963888552376532,0.0,0.21677147666431373,0.0,0.10168627031300953,0.0,0.0,0.06294478833989782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376639350621292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19905325380234445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619889199599224,0.034936683621824484,0.10363688230765973,0.0,0.06731197936128994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422933855195535,0.0,0.0,0.11251578196124093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203038860474994,0.0,0.0,0.127730220977057,0.06924690951066552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418808186394552,0.0,0.10148273126960797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475086842558446,0.0667065447692958,0.06770050649279215,0.4307701519632271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060685234245206915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467405127444964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144977867874546,0.0,0.06276819835122795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209402036906394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131491406793994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361640864215627,0.0,0.053863077329174135,0.09787935148144906,0.0,0.0,0.044995526237848034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277301200390446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422334146700628,0.08146681751847895,0.0,0.050467875144207884,0.11120540719142208,0.0,0.12051479949578195,0.060744335845999274,0.1412583264313669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001392324277958,0.10490463828295686,0.14998210896043634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357219570489333,0.05736248739778299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950436096080778,0.0,0.040937316978926185
mentalhealth,xeurydice,2019/01/18,"I think I might have maladaptive daydreaming or at least something similar. So, I’ve had this condition ever since I can remember. I couldn’t place my finger on exactly when it started but all I knew is that it’s always been there. I’m not sure if what I have is maladaptive daydreaming because most of the article I’ve perused through describes MD as something a little different from my experience (even though the rest of the descriptions were spot on). I know what I’m about to share is weird but I was really hoping to find some people who can relate to this. Usually when I’m dreaming, I listen to music and pace around the room when I’m alone or I might even run from wall to wall while doing weird hand gestures with weird facial expressions if I’m really immersed in my dreaming (people will think I’m crazy if they see me doing this). Every-time I do this, one of the common scenarios I’ll imagine myself is of me having some sort of magical power combating enemies with my friends (I’m fully aware of how infantile this sounds) or performing for a crowd while the people I know fawn over me. The articles I went through describes how people with MD create characters and stuff instead of basing them on real life. So my point, or rather question here is, is this still considered as maladaptive dreaming? And can anyone else with this condition relate to my story? Would love to hear your thoughts! ",6.839477611940299,7.268579776119402,7.013395522388063,74.61360074626867,64.67164179104478,10.729850746268657,33.167910447761194,10.550175099000144,3.5763462686567165,1132,44,199,27,16,365,153,268,0.068,0.841,0.091,0.875,2,1,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,2,2,18,8,0,0,9,0,24,5,3,2,4,45,44,24,0,7,11,0,2,0,1,4,1,3,1,0,14,8,0,0,10,3,0,2,2,3,0,1,7,6,26,5,33,32,6,25,0,0,1,1,12,13,0,15,10,144,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654883074925265,0.0,0.0,0.11773733077853972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989384055519596,0.14498100330604893,0.0,0.12596285514739938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625561808978906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478348662811232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820308063677762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691564861010648,0.12799267187430202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841179517569302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932623465305465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932068774245064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594780686950205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053903478623744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555267509724823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994393304551663,0.0,0.14181775884965644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770710023729648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30021316656792063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588242959173077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3923864533342463,0.0,0.1478348662811232,0.0,0.13376095947971078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850968507189214,0.0,0.0,0.1610552362284187,0.1812939599885169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602891872019999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275526020592035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170482694022229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21786351686932698,0.0,0.0,0.1001527231350892,0.0,0.11300015888613008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198088859782928,0.0,0.0,0.1333598048839788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133188567449185,0.1390206646533501,0.11233328175374263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583960576590095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116968438367296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005158288231552,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Krystleinbed,2019/01/18,Sex Blogging and Imposter Syndrome “Sex Blogging and Imposter Syndrome” by Krystle Mitchell https://link.medium.com/lMdurksVAT,22.913571428571423,28.704637500000004,11.784285714285714,35.5107142857143,31.142857142857146,8.457142857142857,78.28571428571429,8.841846274778883,9.78437142857143,111,9,6,1,1,26,9,14,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adam717,2019/01/18,I’m so out of touch I need to confess some things that have really been eating away at my life. It’s about my masturbation problem. I have never had sex before and I have been crushing on a pair of twin sisters for about two years now. I have masturbated to their facebook pictures around 500 times I estimate. I think they’re so attractive all it takes is the thought of them and I can do it without pictures too. On top of this I have been getting more into a weird category of porn. It all started when I saw the Adriana Chechick deep throat challenge. All of the spit. The face fucking. I got more and more into and now I sometimes jack off to girls puking on the Mike Adriano cock. I need help bad.,2.1450759878419454,4.405546248226951,3.150623100303953,90.41250000000002,79.42553191489361,5.730699088145897,25.674265450861203,6.868970318607317,1.0122052684903755,555,22,114,6,14,177,92,141,0.109,0.8220000000000001,0.069,-0.6744,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,9,6,1,0,7,0,12,9,4,0,4,20,23,7,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,8,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,7,2,16,2,23,16,7,19,1,0,1,4,6,12,2,1,7,84,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21500038371633984,0.0,0.0,0.22691216821124216,0.0,0.2016557149851798,0.0,0.0,0.2055122695334196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471310928226567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22327758727898145,0.1261821062001834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19316235361759965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16188303819586924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058984515523573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581620064903641,0.18627197564393447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310981293616121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472129032552598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23886543216693484,0.0,0.17094621965406512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181589923738512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045245348985304,0.15475365715711206,0.0,0.19173667231429867,0.1408298820937313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359259718006375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328127398076421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552834171414054
mentalhealth,winloseor_draw,2019/01/18,"My relationship is damaging my mental health So I’ve been in a relationship for almost 6 months now and I absolutely love my boyfriend. Most days he makes me unbelievably happy and of course, because of my dependency, I’ve grown incredibly attached to him.
However, here is where issue has arisen. I have very very severe anxiety, paranoia, and worsening depression. He also suffers from depression and PTSD. I feel like our disorders clash with each other, his hurting me more than mine hurts him. Whenever he’s going through a bought of depression, it puts me in one of the worst mental places I think I’ve ever experienced, and my suicidal thoughts have grown more since we’ve started dating.
Along with my anxiety, I also have very bad separation issues, and he tends to go away for hours on end with no word. This scares the everliving shit out of me and I don’t know how to tell him “text me more” without sounding like a possessive lunatic. 
I don’t want to admit to myself that he’s triggering my disorders because I truly love him. He’s the only person who has made me feel safe to have the disorders I have and hasn’t triggered my paranoia, which everyone else I’ve met does. I just can’t bear to break up with him, but I’m scared my metal health will only continue to decline. 
Advice?",5.219796747967479,6.7726705731707355,6.096910569105692,75.69260162601627,68.87804878048779,9.694308943089432,30.739837398373986,9.994966539143718,3.1971398373983737,1035,42,186,26,18,341,145,246,0.179,0.745,0.076,-0.9676,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,0,9,18,1,2,7,0,15,5,1,6,1,36,33,13,1,1,3,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,6,15,0,1,6,0,1,5,6,12,0,1,5,4,34,6,30,27,6,23,0,7,0,2,22,8,1,3,11,118,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226558818960108,0.0,0.0,0.10479474742847518,0.0,0.0,0.1673817489346422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011834142824935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832483058766063,0.0,0.08738078777023925,0.1275908549038876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749245322305174,0.0,0.2704121299649915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35982381934651314,0.0,0.0915824450631854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742405680184319,0.0,0.09269139364627722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466452613483847,0.0,0.10000031658906837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058312864273826,0.07476404208226338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895329274742528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140494228516637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22248224631073815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306201118259303,0.0,0.22406615613240025,0.0,0.0,0.21846084490668466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057514488784795335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225622695374556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889066295903344,0.09902509035694304,0.06985661349972093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21093098727758566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353293450283504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091550343501027,0.1591864700359629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137886268804013,0.10933999078051557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233362242512145,0.10520505492538663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22471606686585235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20955158981451974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822797199242382,0.10742468273351473,0.0865699480728554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407385077489301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447327053484754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147123440877478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705734312418457,0.0,0.08308270099113702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590487712274899,0.06172698314112685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088164676530287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coltman2004,2019/01/18,"Something weird is happening to me and I need to know what For reference ive been diagnosed with depression, but this has never happened before, I was on the phone with my friend and he said something that offended me, I got really angry and yelled at him, after a while i started to uncontrollably sob, and now my head feels dizzy, what the hell is happening to me?",9.816809523809523,7.374550300000003,9.524285714285714,68.33738095238097,60.28571428571429,13.904761904761903,39.04761904761904,12.45797560212912,4.753333333333334,291,11,54,8,3,95,51,70,0.301,0.648,0.051,-0.9652,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,1,3,0,6,2,1,0,1,12,15,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,11,1,10,11,0,7,1,2,0,0,5,2,2,0,5,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20218361410320027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20464808884665026,0.2411631902366264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013978724077705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357236129409535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900337281650029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6303376418924833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438503859853659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058101586261256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618045158831724,0.18325495274485126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221528976224155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22601593825421964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.365838534841272,0.0,0.0,0.1681774260262256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,e_takio,2019/01/18,"One minute I feel like I make progress and the next I’m on the verge of suicidal I used to think I belonged in this one friend group. One of the girls from it was supportive, and when I opened up to her about how I didn’t feel included and I felt isolated she told me that it was ok. But I got really depressed and now I’m not sure if They want me around. I go through the typical suicidal thoughts but then I never act on them focusing on things to buy me more time. every time I think I’m getting better or things are working out they are crushed because I realize they haven’t included me once again. I wonder if it’s them or me. If I have pushed them away because of my negativity, or they just don’t like me. ",2.3604083885209732,3.692898324503311,3.774453642384106,90.41391004415013,75.6887417218543,7.947240618101546,25.828366445916124,8.59863814320734,1.5411849889624731,561,20,130,11,12,185,89,151,0.126,0.76,0.114,-0.5964,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,7,3,8,8,0,0,4,1,8,0,0,3,2,31,26,15,2,4,10,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,8,0,1,3,6,1,0,3,7,3,30,7,17,19,1,21,0,1,0,0,13,10,0,7,10,91,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514297226294406,0.0,0.0,0.15981946682852338,0.0,0.0,0.2073891435262118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504442559835529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651138875322198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332099619097266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202063476246315,0.12152321313058168,0.1633277006657546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13142288179421893,0.0,0.088872963910158,0.0,0.09667472453685864,0.0,0.13604869500770114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166209649932466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135465645579533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311956430859858,0.0,0.18090884611964106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811565225345155,0.3458031266706905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897376866906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721350335139577,0.19303340366105406,0.16032216989576684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22602071779777105,0.21799313074818516,0.0,0.1350445548262507,0.19837945974577173,0.0,0.0,0.16254284074967046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691630594820496,0.0,0.0,0.10033247426501224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844718700275552,0.12383863626738095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PotentialPlum,2019/01/18,"Different Diagnosis and Another New Doctor I have an appointment to see a new psychiatrist next week and I never know what to say when they ask what I have been diagnosed with. 

​

I have a long history of mental health treatment, goes back to being in a special school and the hospital several times in my youth, and so a bunch of different opinions of what's up with me. 

​

Have any of you delt with the ever-changing diagnosis/too many opinions? How? I have difficulty trusting what anyone says because it is always different than what someone else says. 

​

I'm coming back in after ditching all my meds because the last guy said he thought I was totally fine and just sad about being disabled. ",6.705833333333333,8.151223371212126,6.936060606060611,71.45742424242427,65.28787878787878,10.10909090909091,36.63636363636363,10.25414643259724,4.150372727272728,583,29,94,14,9,188,88,132,0.044,0.894,0.062,0.3298,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,0,8,0,10,3,0,1,3,18,17,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,6,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,5,11,3,17,11,3,18,0,1,1,0,9,4,0,2,13,67,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059971156374147,0.35392535638497624,0.3969157479447268,0.0740444460131438,0.11417373899209493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613380519424748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179128115446913,0.0,0.0,0.16744922780551003,0.0,0.13274862047597127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518420015324825,0.09379340821175512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051435938402146,0.0,0.3412799361655489,0.0,0.11144677404934134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095810938487588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849126931454116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107811684976505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573796296134801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059839469288873536,0.08875450376420052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635838295449034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039067803578204,0.0,0.0,0.1209449117902584,0.0,0.1097288579100232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397759080345163,0.2103205331189575,0.11579873153411635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103573047786586,0.2597653506689275,0.0,0.11019581416783672,0.08676597290256409,0.0,0.0,0.1230072499748399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225655178186076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644125748901928,0.06349078636483993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733969602031942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3969157479447268,0.0
mentalhealth,CaptainThrowAway05,2019/01/18,"Something triggered really bad thoughts, need advice I went to the movies to watch Glass with my girlfriend. She has been going through depression due to chronic pain for about a month now (thankfully a lot better now).

Unfortunately during this time period she has said she wanted to end her life. More specifically, with a kitchen knife across her throat

I was on the phone with her when this happened, several times in fact

Fast forward to today, one scene in glass involves a main character slitting the throat of someone

While I don’t really care about the murder in the movie, the suffering of the victim hit me like a truck

The gasping for air and everything made me sick

And then I imagined that was what my girlfriend would’ve gone through. Just a minute of torture, choking on her own blood. It was too much

I walked out of the theatre barely holding in tears

While better now I’m still wondering how I can manage this and possibly help prevent another episode like this from occurring


Thank you",7.71907114624506,8.378429326086959,6.645592885375496,77.21007905138342,62.80434782608695,9.951778656126482,35.205533596837945,9.800150414767053,3.390060869565218,812,34,141,15,11,245,125,184,0.17,0.73,0.1,-0.9463,0,0,1,0,1,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,10,14,3,0,15,0,8,8,3,3,1,20,23,8,1,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,4,1,1,0,7,7,1,2,3,0,0,5,1,7,0,1,9,2,18,7,27,13,5,30,0,2,1,0,14,10,0,2,19,95,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906522018738315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814180557595664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445770455192766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30602992068144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639715629479374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901489055181294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532371851930224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549193421214694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832664626673847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529938462438334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596622543222215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220341711022277,0.16904974421517044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708852508436598,0.0,0.1637080370987831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380964429445888,0.0,0.12718364889430914,0.12828612697416747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723733677364485,0.0,0.1840968531729432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19504491466451734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22167169869081527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16457393026110906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19545419403591144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465924161116048,0.13319300838880052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816752182040187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185722137289745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373521180046115,0.20176925311612587,0.0,0.16399504550516522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204689750485076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603837588185982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876240185556216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290268535121265,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,noreceptionplease,2019/01/18,"What to do when you’re suicidal? Hi everyone, 

I’m curious if anyone has any recommendations on what to do if one is suicidal? Go to the emergency room? Mental health clinic? Call an ambulance? 

I have had a few friends this last year that have struggled immensely and when push came to shove I never really knew what I was supposed to do other than call 911. 

Anyone with experience or suggestions? ",2.8577327327327318,5.788753391891895,4.678828828828832,76.16241741741744,82.64864864864866,9.234834834834832,25.78978978978979,9.444778638647367,3.2242150150150164,317,13,55,11,9,107,57,74,0.182,0.753,0.066,-0.89,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,9,2,0,0,1,8,13,6,2,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,4,0,3,1,8,9,1,10,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,5,38,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750431943237174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033330850765165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4429729618146526,0.2480840274526128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20726410439321324,0.0,0.21217684178047835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675819480342701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232733481596496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305621876902451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680830067892386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21859141879778896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672921879493092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469819177418284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895629276180047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267584785477817,0.0,0.4745224956009957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396811113617113
mentalhealth,Thoth_thot,2019/01/18,"Anyone else a cry a little too much? I cry literally any time I feel a strong emotion, even if I'm happy. If I'm driving and listening to good music , I cry. If I'm trying to have a serious discussion with my partner even if I'm not particularly sad or frustrated, I cry. When I think about kittens, I cry. It's getting to the point where I can hardly communicate without crying. I do suffer from major depression and anxiety, but I've been on the up and up and I still wanna cry all the time. ",2.722941176470588,4.072180264705885,5.578578431372549,77.77610294117648,74.78431372549021,8.629411764705884,27.45588235294117,9.188382445141503,2.402976470588236,385,15,77,9,8,140,65,102,0.215,0.667,0.118,-0.826,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,7,8,1,0,7,0,4,0,0,0,1,17,12,11,0,5,8,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,3,10,3,11,11,3,11,0,3,0,0,3,6,0,5,4,52,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822963796160612,0.0,0.0880035899191293,0.0,0.0,0.08043709336319672,0.11786980428640648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8845452280762092,0.0,0.0,0.099081874828026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609930724024726,0.12940202338373766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196274282384387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816656010980966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060102494152000176,0.0,0.0,0.096488235322923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245986023058247,0.1030512587772146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529808111935147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456600768723803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874788941661054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091869322935533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371156699136194,0.0,0.0,0.13415891396736027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810310408539503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089231868265972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,paradox551,2019/01/18,"Is this BPD, bipolar or just depression? I can go from feeling completely fine with energy and some sleep issues, no self harm and no suicidal thoughts to suddenly feeling depressed with suicidal thoughts and self harm.

This can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days, maybe a week at the most. Once I'm on the depression side of things that can last for a few days all the way to months.

Been told by two different professionals I don't have bipolar, likely because I was stable on the meds (even if it was the depressed side) for over a year now. Coming off the meds currently and that's fun.

It strikes me as maybe rapid cycling bipolar with hypomania. It certainly could be BPD but I don't have problems with my emotions swinging around.... just ""normal"" and ""depressed"" moods.

As for why I'm asking on reddit instead of a professional? Because I've been run around in circles for the last two years with nobody giving me a straight answer.",5.294503652771809,6.818039653631287,5.2716201117318455,81.79219166308553,68.66480446927375,8.412720240653202,32.20498495917491,8.841846274778883,2.684366222604212,754,33,139,13,13,235,106,179,0.132,0.763,0.106,-0.6998,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,7,13,0,0,14,0,14,4,1,0,2,30,25,10,2,4,5,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,8,13,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,8,0,2,7,2,7,4,28,16,6,29,0,5,0,0,5,12,0,4,14,94,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19649593452387554,0.10317608122441302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455457376426047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780009115175588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506940274467404,0.11571527119797008,0.0,0.0,0.08811721956559326,0.0,0.0,0.14235218162889365,0.0,0.475284702229556,0.0,0.0,0.11530760465507445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241454146050238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728948327818558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160740044328947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105871861248742,0.06272279316390654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868698227946992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519205625176634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698858424478797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391860977366759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22175231781616428,0.0,0.2451805675500784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809203767600421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813395749189694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175347863431751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560409732928852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23026886971233504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044438786395228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24144210234848065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332139192070945,0.0,0.0,0.17523446217939428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054581849543138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21562051893164394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760234895456236,0.0885278922566383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958696100935828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214247584966572
mentalhealth,busymerry,2019/01/18,"Finally managed to see a therapist, fell asleep riiiight after coming home Soooo today I went to my first therapist appointment in nearly 5 years, it was really intimidating. Everything went well, it was really interesting, and reassuring. But I could not have expected it to be so tiring. Talking for almost an hour and a half about my issues was hard but not because I was having a hard time sharing informations, but simply because I'm not used to talking for so long. 

​

It was almost funny when I came back home and basically fell in bed and slept for a good 3 hours. I hadn't slept that well in probably 6 months. It feels really really good to go to bed with an empty brain !",5.719145299145301,7.0271385384615375,7.289487179487178,68.52773504273507,67.46153846153847,11.00854700854701,29.82905982905983,10.980518767755715,3.701418803418804,550,20,94,17,9,190,80,130,0.053,0.774,0.173,0.953,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,6,0,10,5,4,1,0,20,21,10,0,2,6,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,6,7,0,0,2,0,0,7,4,0,2,2,11,4,7,7,16,8,0,23,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,2,12,63,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572055667646667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391524339416079,0.15605491779511002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987537365877549,0.0,0.15657787701593145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336889400154215,0.0,0.14688820966041732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062994615860088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025398600890371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542342708756667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493740544001804,0.0,0.0,0.14068735435565433,0.0,0.10924137966335412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298898520774368,0.2154397868991336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23009376382880276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576488986833026,0.0,0.252952782926622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404618744957206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365535085491307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251055653806296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846785150017746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290988343653595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234103967027246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064522354022447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982312197119697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488780300265448,0.14760988863559502,0.12173538308271235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092115475893052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309456352432549,0.2381093679981016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605491779511002,0.08270386683890102
mentalhealth,rebeccacarmser,2019/01/18,"don't actually read im fine   

I’ve been laying in bed since class ended at 2 pm. I ate and ate while I watched TV not because I was hungry. I don’t know why. And then when I started getting all hot and shivery and tired I fell asleep like the sugar knocked me unconscious. I woke up not remembering where I was, but then I remembered the shame and self-loathing and the fat on all those places on my body that would only be worse tomorrow due to my latest slip. So what did I do? Against all logic I ate some more. At this point I felt vomit coming up my throat, but that didn’t stop me. My bed protected me, the blanket covering all my fat, so that no one could see. So that I couldn’t see. So that I didn’t have to feel the weight of it all or the tightness of my clothes that wasn’t there a year prior. Not that I was doing so well a year ago, I was just on the upswing of the pendulum, where I was hardly eating. In trying to heal I was slipping and sliding out of control. There wasn’t/isn’t enough friction in my life to stop me. So I ate some more, and then felt the urge to make it all go away. To avoid the consequences. I looked down at my hand, my right hand with two rings on it that my sister gave me for the holidays. One was on my ring finger, but the other was on my middle finger, so I hesitated. I had promised her I wouldn’t throw up for the rest of winter break, but break was over and I was back at college. The promise was fulfilled, but I triumphed anyway and resisted the urge. Instead of throwing up, I grabbed more food. Then, thoroughly disgusted and scared of the future and of anyone seeing me, that’s when I took my rings off. I went to the bathroom downstairs, not on our hall where people would be. I passed two girls in the hallway and gave a smile and a hello as I walked towards the bathroom where people take their shits in privacy. I went into the big stall that I had previously christened not more than a week and a half prior, and got comfortable. Squatting, hair loosely tied back like I didn’t care if it got a little on it. Hands resting on the toilet like old friends or lovers. Then I made a gun with my hand and shot myself down the throat. Pulling trig. I finally understand why they call it that. I’ve gotten better at it over the last few months. I learned that while you lose a little reactivity, if you go if rapid succession, you can get a four for one or even more. It’s hard to do too many because my tears and the snot dripping out of my nose demand attention. I wipe them with toilet paper that disintegrates all over my hands, as I look down at my vomit stained shirt. Damn, I am going to have to be discrete when I walk back to my room. I try to come up with something real quick. Maybe, I was washing my face, or drinking water and it spilled. My mom always did used to say that I have a hole in my lip. I start tasting acid and decide that enough is enough. I don’t want my voice to be noticeably raspy. I sit there for a second whispering to no one “help me help me help me help me help me.” Last time I did this, I think God was listening because I got an email with a job offer following my interview a few days prior. The good news lifted my spirits for a couple hours. My plea degraded into just one word, “help, help, help” as tears streamed down my face and continue to stream as I write. Help the poor girl, someone. She’s hurting and she’s a liar, but she’s scared and alone, and fat. Not really fat, but fat enough that she misses her abs from her running days, and all her jeans are two sizes too small and she can’t deal with it. She doesn’t know how in the world of college girls getting their only calories from drinks and then going on the stairstepper or the elliptical. She now gets anxiety from exercise especially going to the gym, but she used to be free. She used to be a strong runner. What happened? She used to love it. Help. Help her. Help me. So I go back to my room and hide under my covers and finally call a therapist, but it’s past five and it goes to voicemail and the voice on the voicemail sounds old and sweet like your grandma and you can’t tell your grandma this and she can’t help you so this voice can’t help you but someone needs to help you. You hang up but then you call again and leave the message. Just as you are finishing your friend walks in and starts chatting about her first day at work, but all you can think is I almost slipped up and she heard me. And then she is just sitting there and you have so much inside you, but you can’t say. You may as well be in a fish tank, slowly drowning and gasping, while the outside world can only see the muted, tranquility of the underwater world. She’s sitting right there and she didn’t see. Relief and extreme sorry. Whatever that equivalent for an extreme bitter-sweet. Help. Help me. You don’t whisper, but thoughts aren’t audible. As she comes closer pacing around the room, you minimize the psychologist finder website open on your browser. She leaves and you want to tell you mom, but she’s dealing with other crisis and she doesn’t know how to help. It would only scare her, distract her from your sick grandmother, and she would pull you away from school to come back home. So you think of your sister. She already knows, but she is younger than you and has her own issues and isn’t strong enough to carry me and my damage. Literally, she can’t even pick me up, the voice thinks like a fat joke that isn’t a joke. I shouldn’t have ever told her at all. It is too much, but I was so desperate and sad I had no choice, but to shove on her my burden. Then my roommate walks in and sees the tear streaks down my face and asks what’s wrong and I burst into tears. I don’t talk, but I’ve been found out. Help.",2.5916248238425794,4.2441552941176495,3.4231592637054824,91.83901260504204,75.76896845694799,6.424583746542095,22.88157871844389,7.127189543769624,0.5986516241279123,4492,128,981,48,98,1426,452,1173,0.107,0.736,0.157,0.9969,2,2,3,1,0,0,131.0,1,28,4,9,50,46,4,6,63,0,79,47,25,10,11,172,151,115,1,14,37,4,17,5,3,7,14,15,6,3,43,71,18,6,20,11,2,28,33,18,2,13,48,46,174,29,128,87,29,172,1,5,9,2,120,81,2,12,63,677,217,11,0.0,0.0,0.043302609272508896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03933486118041343,0.0,0.04443413712992559,0.0459580669605697,0.048967796935896334,0.0,0.036922711044601535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03394597780244204,0.0,0.0,0.03102732272977995,0.0,0.0,0.039502255335723616,0.041483686824786696,0.0,0.08338164102338701,0.17060428080266776,0.0,0.08114990993026537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039245184567879995,0.0,0.049289495002473024,0.0,0.0,0.1359324029225763,0.0,0.045242236057333365,0.0,0.0,0.15289703905313298,0.0,0.0,0.04976919845072661,0.03542901704494189,0.049098971458013,0.0,0.08585264992775618,0.09149526213910336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869392257757749,0.0,0.04540566561479619,0.0,0.0,0.039302180663717684,0.2292509470539828,0.0,0.05861719845107258,0.040138810759439626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022436820590461037,0.0,0.08521197058365249,0.09721906527171396,0.0,0.037744489789095496,0.0536571999604107,0.04865378522881749,0.0685664629564941,0.0,0.09273430478143324,0.0,0.1513125529197772,0.03721879411372488,0.10646979063886933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039239769237068865,0.0,0.07950075096208413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5651160010843678,0.0,0.04451072595152277,0.0,0.04369943771178854,0.0,0.04750326973476277,0.0,0.047931519450996884,0.046314912618728166,0.04403433404691967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754712881446366,0.07234144214878656,0.0,0.09397128806768767,0.0,0.0,0.03134265857820207,0.1083944406171855,0.0889487827925734,0.0,0.0,0.07452594466487879,0.049643139863190806,0.0,0.0,0.04004925480496056,0.04198773843342525,0.02961998019793286,0.04498825699091994,0.04457963316588767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039405521011158,0.03541889224073367,0.0,0.06523997083369272,0.032902748328588714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050520077124232884,0.09312606751422492,0.0,0.15034480647131826,0.13499366356380532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04235999061996802,0.06152666931751592,0.0,0.046361370806702086,0.0,0.04194775967197506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04438599419077405,0.05050731072430467,0.028427111666810743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053415180212716,0.07579028310896109,0.0,0.07057594935351405,0.13327830315113018,0.044908842805543456,0.21216193014463508,0.0,0.046291744962997664,0.0,0.04554925891660405,0.03670661973421166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519586860972324,0.03416126230879805,0.0,0.0496730443304556,0.09422440696237286,0.0,0.0,0.07419727839620774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0333637150312124,0.03566612905791595,0.0775696391832452,0.0,0.0,0.05152161782420277,0.0,0.1137322338405237,0.0,0.03522798822989159,0.025874828059405157,0.05100136918395887,0.0,0.042401245190150184,0.049301131132221766,0.06025404736377307,0.0,0.1300408094716702,0.04619488431700253,0.0,0.15329950632608436,0.0,0.0,0.05234585321905469,0.0,0.03559413493952203,0.0540355604778335,0.07979508495899533,0.08227025909768139,0.0800812407937616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0323047902704856,0.0,0.04522088266889507,0.12608802589645465,0.04851598770221818,0.0,0.057150784199895714
mentalhealth,worldhello646,2019/01/18,"Am I even myself anymore?  As long as I can remember myself, I had the best memory that it comes. I could have remembered anything perfectly that happened in at least half a year span, could have recalled up to smallest details. Up until I started working as IT specialist for one and a half years, not realizing I had forgotten numbers that was mentioned, prices that clients should have paid, passwords of clients computers, I had to check everything that was checked in the system even thought I was the one that accepted orders from the clients, being the one that has written information in the company systems and have heard everything being mentioned, that has driven me crazy from the first time that I have forgotten something so obvious, even though I have driven myself to work as the best as there could be, remembering everything that I saw or heard at least once, as the time passed I had to check system configuration that we done and smallest of fixes that had to be done to the computers. That drove me crazy, not even that, but since I started working, my sleeping schedule has changed drastically. From feeling fully rested after 5-7 hours of sleep, because I couldn’t even sleep more, I felt fully rested after that and wanting to just jump out to bed after waking up, to not even being rested after 8 hours of sleep or more. My life shifted 180 degrees and since then I’m still wondering what really happened to me. I can’t trust my memory anymore, I can’t even trust myself to wake up early after working for at least 6 hours at random things. I have tried resting for whole day, but that didn’t change a damn thing, I lost my job to a mistake, the job that I did countless times before, I have failed, my colleges started asking if I have a girlfriend or something and not getting enough of sleep. I didn’t, I slept for 8-9 straight waking up feeling tired, sometimes spending an hour after waking up in the bed surfing on the internet on my phone, because I didn’t want to get up. From one of the best there could be I started to feel useless, failing even simple tasks that I have done countless times. Even myself I didn’t known what has happened, as long as I remember myself, I was on top of everyone, getting stuff done quicker and better than everyone else. 

As of now I can’t focus on single task, I started working on my own project, but I feel like I can’t do it, even though I have knowledge and skills for it. I’m jobless, can’t find any job, working on my own project hoping I can make business from it, but feeling tired all day after sleeping for at least 9 hours, because I can’t just wake up earlier, if I try to wake up earlier, I just fall back to sleep after turning off my alarm. I am feeling tired of all the bullshit and I have started spending my time on YouTube watching random videos, first for just half an hour to now for at least 3-7 hours daily. I need serious help because I don’t even know that is happening with me, I can’t tell if it is normal and I’m just getting old, but I refuse to believe that, or something seriously have changed me. I really don’t know what to do anymore, because if I continue what I’m doing now, I will feel even more useless. I seriously can’t think straight anymore and I have just started drinking to feel like something. As of now I’m feeling pretty drunk as I’m writing this knowing that this isn’t going to solve anything.  
 

I ‘m seriously feeling ashamed of myself as of now and because of that I want to keep my identity as human being and internet persona secret. I’m posting this as random user of the internet, even though majority of my time is being spend on the internet.",9.690590717299578,7.0077306821378365,9.23696624472574,71.05038607594939,60.74402250351618,11.786610407876232,42.26540084388186,9.80755857964246,4.1554459071729966,2909,132,534,41,30,939,249,711,0.093,0.807,0.099,-0.3987,4,0,5,0,0,0,70.0,1,0,0,20,32,24,1,2,24,0,72,20,14,1,4,92,132,46,0,17,23,0,11,2,1,2,4,2,2,1,38,17,2,2,28,3,8,8,20,13,0,9,30,15,77,11,104,87,23,95,0,5,2,0,15,33,1,13,51,409,115,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03104089877878772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810745783663032,0.0,0.0,0.07512566692503908,0.0,0.04267292180588552,0.0,0.0,0.03509901694702619,0.0,0.1669525553808668,0.0,0.03884145097120094,0.05142749959175278,0.1437082303323714,0.04037024721057442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448624963945812,0.03932005500995701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577871830956424,0.0,0.0,0.05887588909617991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18684714591266494,0.0,0.044715779470897415,0.0,0.0,0.038131441567199255,0.0,0.0,0.04716460125098879,0.0,0.3919344581777324,0.0,0.0,0.08723356861282358,0.12307125674673512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230800288960177,0.06521913547089814,0.043827393801808216,0.0,0.04171968897267896,0.07765306242793901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539276856889163,0.0,0.02594171843286483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614587065423437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030595604366733014,0.0,0.0,0.04533685555395427,0.3146653496394323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589006937799633,0.04057233204880101,0.0,0.0,0.07525767329703198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03224117529247742,0.044600736749233164,0.0,0.0,0.08079068648165859,0.0,0.0,0.04982808699103778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03046911197205928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03384598896802166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04472346553438232,0.0,0.0,0.047897881086471736,0.04861158407620367,0.1237238569960117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04371632564183951,0.04643847208752178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058484093684757876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068324359304463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551781596907002,0.0,0.3197533061830918,0.0,0.0,0.1405623257595961,0.04514513898995208,0.0,0.22615970604266256,0.0,0.036453017403930886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052253839369473816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0398966847059452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060650452837528214,0.02924816411559575,0.13454112166040422,0.03623788776205402,0.15969957335518084,0.15739035792834452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198138228413432,0.049649826011426736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076971957845867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096221674005546,0.0,0.0,0.04950122520612227,0.1993853335635943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05878915621959613
mentalhealth,hejjiis,2019/01/18,"How to Overcome Social Anxiety in 3 Steps I don't know if i am allowed to post this, so if i'm not- please forgive me! But i have struggled a lot with social Anxiety in my life, so that's why i did this video. Hopefully it can help someone! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCPD42wTF2o&t=14s",6.523301886792456,8.59193411320755,5.6076886792452845,78.45794811320756,66.35849056603774,8.318867924528304,30.23113207547169,8.841846274778883,2.4119094339622653,240,9,42,4,4,72,42,53,0.193,0.7040000000000001,0.103,-0.4137,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,2,0,11,8,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,6,2,5,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,0,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762982817531058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901569188415167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092476746922247,0.0,0.0,0.2532779349758868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014431783929115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011787980214322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21679650134107506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279919390398888,0.0,0.0,0.2442247162492677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5198918537858123,0.2160652771377128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665870477672768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301027410886064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blondebumpkin,2019/01/18,"Anxiety is stopping me from quitting a job I hate I’m from the U.K. and moved to Italy in September for work. It’s a job my aunt got me, working for one of her friends. She told me that I can’t leave early because I’d be letting her friend down. 
3 months later, my depression is so intense, I’m struggling to cope. I have no friends, and only speak to the people I work with. I have never been so lonely. I want to leave so badly and go home, but the anxiety of letting my aunt and my colleagues (who would have to take on my work) down is stopping me from taking action. I just want to be happy and I don’t know what to do. ",1.6028493894165514,2.9203012388059686,3.4265807327001383,92.19284260515605,77.65671641791045,6.066757123473543,24.122116689280872,6.574015621080383,0.6037402985074629,482,16,110,4,11,162,78,134,0.161,0.7240000000000001,0.116,-0.2605,2,2,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,5,4,9,1,1,5,0,15,0,0,0,1,15,26,9,0,3,2,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,5,0,1,3,1,20,4,19,18,0,13,0,2,0,0,11,4,0,0,6,76,24,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186617530013802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932946633127628,0.08712068758447247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309393548870495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33125124000904377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122284831776741,0.0,0.1143035325042756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213747379470596,0.0,0.14110064302300718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433570925628754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28364552439715385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854327510816181,0.0,0.0,0.3026562778698347,0.0,0.2922839964018469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407473827677835,0.15189782361210155,0.0,0.0,0.11022616169195484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684404770719768,0.10869458264955592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990804378032707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200949154294865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23896950408185144,0.0,0.14940755469707315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21491112902449905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365630216439456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685919329507136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4161802091544494,0.0,0.0,0.10152391593879348,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NYbxtch,2019/01/18,"I need suggestions! So I work in a psychiatric facility on a floor that is relatively strict. The use of cell phones or computers  is prohibited etc. I’m trying to brainstorm some fun activities to do with patients. “Self help” days where everyone painted their nails was a big hit! I’m also thinking of starting some type of dance class. Does anyone have any other fun activities, or games we could implement into our care plan? Thank you :)",4.235125,7.038314262500003,5.272499999999997,75.0725,75.125,9.0,28.75,9.516144504307137,3.1951249999999987,351,15,60,10,8,115,66,80,0.0,0.785,0.215,0.9558,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,1,1,2,3,4,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,1,0,11,15,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,4,9,12,3,9,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,4,2,35,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290478275920925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477359949614811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20026964991256485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29202154679518594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286809242979479,0.0,0.0,0.1847154769022902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250645727157333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194310231727908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27368402372460915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919794924024874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21237481384764076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987957304058064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027276535149002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636945871837942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18352465384609407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944585595807144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473726039068379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085152204176292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Id0nthav3aname,2019/01/18,"Am I a sociopath? I promise I’m not an edgy 14 year old, but this question of sociopathy and wether it pertains to me has been in my mind for a while. For me it’s easy and sometimes even fun to manipulate people. I feel frustration however when I don’t succeed. I build webs of lies with people I’m close to just to see how long I can get away with it, and come to think of it, that’s pretty much all I do. I do stuff to see if I can get away with it. I won’t specify what I’ve done but I assure you it’s nothing illegal. Now I know this is problematic as I’ve heard it “through the ether” so to speak. I’ve been told a number of times that I’m a “fucking sociopath” or a “fucking psycho” which is what got me thinking about it in the first place. I’m tired of it. My father was a psychopath and now he’s a deadbeat loser with a low paying job.but I’m also tired of having relationships that don’t last because of it, and I guess my question is if I am a sociopath or a psychopath, is there any way I can change it? Because I don’t want people to look at me as a bad person, and I think the way to do that is to be a good person. Any answer is much appreciated.",2.2399215686274485,2.8169809333333333,4.326372549019609,89.27700980392159,74.96078431372548,7.0784313725490176,25.53921568627451,7.1686216300943375,0.92021568627451,898,29,213,9,18,311,125,255,0.121,0.736,0.14300000000000002,0.5713,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,3,10,11,3,0,16,0,25,4,0,2,2,35,48,19,0,3,8,1,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,21,12,0,0,8,0,1,1,5,6,0,1,7,6,25,5,32,39,3,21,0,2,3,2,11,8,2,7,10,146,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013535881218512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17237450700034085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381519955422099,0.0,0.10582224680763584,0.15451853070424065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407365970514706,0.10917491703235284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969858287063354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371029049608895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408333455253204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780461326581987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23433737991890075,0.13243238840024407,0.0,0.0,0.10630313796980946,0.10136521179163063,0.0,0.13961792480098464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576946671875674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696527529964949,0.10330966503347326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216053094773568,0.10642931839534717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279708360353727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863363331839636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161003533925188,0.0,0.13299185853928366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635957789483106,0.22132820742704026,0.13241587522355966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289397061113106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839546476173258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607086692813364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20199005609184376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534867518354076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508648516233175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436287962867957,0.0,0.0,0.0739028623211018,0.2913369825172432,0.0,0.12110509018018135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475428193468228,0.20119994241763256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161612758490712
mentalhealth,mitchyjt,2019/01/18,"Advice Needed (UK Based) Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, so delete if it isn't. Probably going to write too much, so TL;DR at the end.  


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I won't go into a lot of detail about my mental health as frankly I wouldn't know where to begin. A brief summary is eight years or so of major depressive disorder, borderline personality traits, anxiety (mainly social), that sort of thing. I've tried a fair few things in attempts to improve my mental health - five months of Citalopram (30mg), six months of Fluoxetine (can't remember the dosage, probably similar amount), and fifteen to eighteen months of Mirtazapine (30mg), along with a counsellor pre-Citalopram, and a psychologist and psychiatrist while on Mirtazapine. First set of meds had a lot of bad side effects with no positives, second had no effect at all (positive or negative), and the third had some small positives at first but turned out to be causing really bad memory problems, along with other bad side effects, so I had to come off it (final year uni exams don't mix well with memory loss). My mental health almost always follows the same pattern - gets worse from August-ish through to December/January, then improves to about April/May; and because of this, and most of my attempts at getting help being after reaching a low point, it's very hard to say whether the attempts at improving my mental health work as they always start when I'm about to get better anyway. I say it almost always follows the same pattern as since Mirtazapine it's been different - the usual negative cycle started earlier, got worse than usual and hasn't really stopped. I can usually counter self harming/suicidal thoughts (practice over a long time plus some CBT techniques), does nothing to stop them occurring or the feelings that have no thoughts associated with them, which are a lot harder to deal with.

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Because of this, I thought it was probably a good idea to start getting help in some way again. I'd like to avoid medication if possible, as my experiences haven't exactly been positive. However, in my home city (Birmingham) I have no idea what mental health services are really available - Google has been rather unhelpful, and my local GP is awful (for waiting times and general helpfulness, as far as I know they have no mental health facilities). I know the NHS isn't exactly brilliant mental health wise, but private isn't really an option and getting help is probably a good idea even if it doesn't work or whatever. Does anyone have any advice they could give on how to go about finding decent mental health services here? I don't know what websites to use or numbers to call or anything like that, and any help would be much appreciated.

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TL;DR: looking for advice on how to access decent mental health services, preferably not involving medication due to bad experiences, in Birmingham, UK. Google hasn't been much help and local GP isn't any better, so asking here.",11.539019323671491,9.44188098888889,10.545410628019322,61.27456521739131,56.7037037037037,13.909822866344607,43.8486312399356,12.432590859559815,5.571268921095006,2434,110,381,61,23,777,268,540,0.124,0.7509999999999999,0.125,0.3906,2,1,0,0,0,0,113.0,0,0,5,13,21,18,0,1,22,1,39,11,0,7,4,89,71,42,0,11,16,0,2,2,0,3,11,2,1,2,20,24,0,4,17,0,0,7,22,9,1,7,13,5,23,9,72,51,17,62,0,3,1,0,22,26,0,21,29,251,43,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636179998094102,0.0,0.0,0.08632459297425547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759761103647024,0.3736241753236095,0.26187958195748473,0.08793632301939476,0.0,0.032974340295396073,0.0,0.0,0.030139226040301018,0.0,0.03547080987595951,0.0,0.04029629707616642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395971407219715,0.05255143452839967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624373517405686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04401386753609703,0.0,0.0,0.04427954494364365,0.0,0.03713016476677965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0344149304277003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04443819422067469,0.03712529750988019,0.0,0.0,0.04503436685306676,0.04940076595717112,0.0,0.07544096901481147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03817723228061888,0.0,0.0,0.028469697649265862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432770587258434,0.0,0.0,0.021794610295284768,0.0,0.0,0.04721817942800872,0.03939615357054057,0.0733282545475654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259995737624535,0.04134915691948689,0.07349076288182403,0.07230695722672394,0.03447410007490481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038612598394127146,0.0,0.0,0.4123565552007452,0.0,0.0,0.17334968086717967,0.0,0.04323669310285836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597705775921282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475503221873802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042116744338212005,0.0,0.0,0.038145565919549054,0.03619639231659995,0.0,0.0,0.10993609901316254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787867919606216,0.0868452225463596,0.3909470384319802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321528627888547,0.0,0.09505890557866653,0.031960971233611316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04135932293039642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03763663409456352,0.0,0.0,0.040747086741855225,0.04859313359822685,0.0,0.0,0.18589303600429727,0.04124457944070953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045376382108024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048828278745204776,0.03681046692576796,0.0,0.06855585024526809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044966733913546636,0.0,0.0,0.03565596422803655,0.0,0.0,0.04393896423633913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152741680888203,0.0,0.0,0.07207352579641371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047148634487129915,0.0,0.04062488455989746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057272587906272175,0.0,0.0,0.10265896701297146,0.050268422991445516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029264696299380645,0.04688462973867625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03722790162454004,0.14241845958624888,0.035565204499644815,0.0,0.034213843326390825,0.0,0.0,0.03875555302384997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627602571208752,0.0,0.08785304593435835,0.030619750425817088,0.0,0.26187958195748473,0.05551495429954993
mentalhealth,tiedupprincess666,2019/01/18,"I cant control my fucking downwards spirals..... They always seem you happened too fast for me to stop.... I feel a little pull but just as quickly i drop.... Im mind races all day long at night its even worse.... This is the hell i live  my fucked up Russian curse.... When the clock stops ticking like the time bomb it is maybe then ill have time to breathe....
But for  now my lungs are constricted all i can do is wheeze.... As time goes by i realize  that im just wasting everyone's time.....its almost over now finally i have to cross the line... 


Written by me...... ",0.8991666666666696,3.0785715357142855,2.0625,96.89916666666667,83.64285714285714,5.161904761904762,22.72619047619048,6.42735559955562,0.3399976190476193,420,15,95,4,12,133,81,112,0.214,0.759,0.027000000000000003,-0.9769,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,1,1,8,4,3,0,5,0,9,6,2,1,2,15,15,6,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,1,14,1,12,14,2,24,1,0,0,2,2,5,3,2,17,57,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802543258473869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978300058673075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20189687240845855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609175988339425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889511389593932,0.0,0.0,0.1720075680662391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101862286346814,0.0,0.0,0.19719249885313628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328332670979733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918252512821382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888840555277291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794394616879607,0.18041762384559465,0.1589524041565561,0.15930346224617514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084455425216334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18175910077023427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892748434290555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387462807131314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009933636814545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198618440256803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18344588746870785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eleneora,2019/01/18,ever thought of how you become so mentally ill? idk why but I wonder what wrong choices I made to be like this,-0.7389130434782629,1.2947576086956545,1.5307608695652206,94.3291847826087,103.34782608695652,4.039130434782609,18.793478260869566,5.985473137389443,0.06031304347826081,87,3,18,1,4,29,22,23,0.271,0.612,0.117,-0.5058,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,6,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,12,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903862610724718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197391071083112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269042606247664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344673582050126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35622047818390445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28062030958898504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189569389708604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833294377858831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864703087830501,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arkbird2509,2019/01/18,"Mental deadline \[I currently live in Canada\]

Sometimes I get this idea that my life should just stop past a certain ""milestone"". These have been from graduating school, going on a trip, finishing a game or a series, waiting for a specific birthday.

For what came after that, it was always about how I would die, or kill myself, as if I wasn't worthy to exist after that point. Back then I always counted on being too scared to actually go ahead with suicide, so I never really worried that much.

My family is my main attachment, and over time I've made some friends that I care about and I believe that they care about me. My reasons to keep on are mainly to not dissapoint them, but it really never has been about caring for myself.

During high school (6 years where I'm from) I was always the guy with low grades, always scraping by to pass, with extra help sometimes, almost never turned in homework. I dreaded the parent meetings where I would always get a scolding for flunking almost everything. I got used to be the dissapointment for my parents, and the last choice for my ""friends"".

A lot of that low self-esteem still remains, since I never believed it was worth trying to improve myself. And that mediocre mindset makes me hate myself even more, funny enough. ""It's ok to just hate you, look at you, you've never done anything by yourself or for yourself"".

As I get older, and I see myself still trapped in that vortex of self-pity, I feel that something has to happen. Either really seek help and better myself, or really consider how should I end everything.

I was going to ask ""has anyone else been here too"" but I think I just need to put this somewhere. Even asking other people to consider me makes me feel weird.

Thanks if you do anyway

​",7.130828430593097,7.281473416918428,7.0682588646843705,75.41547145810144,64.07552870090635,9.02280171728415,31.31833359834632,8.532816995589336,2.4729661631419937,1395,46,239,17,19,445,186,331,0.123,0.755,0.122,-0.2913,3,1,1,0,0,2,56.0,0,3,2,3,21,18,3,2,11,1,22,2,0,7,6,52,53,20,3,7,13,2,2,0,2,4,2,0,1,1,19,10,0,3,5,1,1,7,7,9,0,0,12,4,41,9,45,35,9,42,0,3,2,0,16,14,0,10,21,185,60,5,0.0,0.0,0.08046132316638005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651276690848263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430336226210541,0.08933677973339471,0.10018828577030113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765240208592515,0.08448188598543294,0.06785102545592102,0.0,0.1541631041555328,0.0,0.0,0.0634005497675451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579048821842173,0.0,0.07292215252823424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943031987307672,0.25219613118023826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557222764783813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437709089715231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688781216419306,0.0,0.07302805795433817,0.08519502564396146,0.0,0.10891762475555597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482052018741188,0.0,0.07772847036222386,0.0,0.0833804845797727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274045242770299,0.0,0.12923340517436513,0.0,0.14057822870430906,0.0,0.06594444981471011,0.0,0.0,0.08164050904809105,0.07291209020890134,0.0,0.0,0.16280869136403936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105317644792628,0.08711513531538159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307834711261884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328718525443817,0.09122099542374214,0.0,0.0,0.06720943902508462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823833305018105,0.0,0.0,0.07280668541631524,0.0,0.06923896987620423,0.0,0.0,0.07009779852552604,0.0,0.07801813904230638,0.11007478943772067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309229021874763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06061175602121888,0.061137162651521214,0.3179605839255818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310652487197684,0.0,0.07870982723348023,0.0571618813101239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794385381795439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288710036553686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21128362072741305,0.08477445685646269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254890256476942,0.16689178664801674,0.06570362199015731,0.0,0.17203097522199715,0.0,0.0,0.06820520154324428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347562912668853,0.16309440435981806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169265381895098,0.06893361965249127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018917836906676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591078515810766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283195502081625,0.0,0.0,0.048078463107396316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05597954093838861,0.08968417177433567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121211242794781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373407596998103,0.0,0.11714316492131485,0.0,0.10018828577030113,0.05309642760533618
mentalhealth,Spwarklyz,2019/01/18,"Incredibly abstract/disturbing imaginations, thoughts, and feelings after sleep deprivation After being very sleep deprived and only slightly recovering, I've started having strange thoughts, impulses, and imaginations. For example, I'll try and remember something that happened in my life, and out of nowhere the person in my memory will just cough up blood and look at me almost as if looking at a camera, in my imagination. I believe my brain is pulling this visual from [this Jimmy Fallon skit](https://youtu.be/zSiFLo3apjM?t=185) I watched a long while ago, before this ever started happening. It's very disturbing. 


Sometimes I'll think disturbing things, like my cat will be on my bed and I'll just want to kick it, or I'll be laying down and think about ripping my organs out. My cat was in the bathroom with me while I was peeing (she wouldn't leave) so I thought about pissing on her (sorry Zora.) 


I cannot think of a clear example, but there are times, especially when I get really tired, where I think up abstract thoughts that just don't make any sense, and I start to get angry at the confusion. I'll be doing nothing, and out of nowhere think ""Yeah the thing is..."" about nothing. Or someone will be talking and I'll think ""yep, yep, yes"" and just keep agreeing with them for absolutely no reason.


At times I'll feel like I don't have legs or arms, and my limbs in general just feel weak and like they aren't as sensitive as they used to be. Due to depression I lay in bed most of the day, and when I do get up and walk around, I've noticed occasionally The ground will feel like it is shaking, but only in my feet, and if I stand on one foot my hamstrings will tremble.


Despite mostly feeling numb I process emotions differently when I actually do feel them, for example I was listening to something that made me sad and I began to feel electricity run all through my body, and it went to my chest and felt very powerful, almost like my chest might explode with the energy.


Occasionally I hear things or things I am hearing will be amplified, for example if someone prounces a ""Huh"" h sound under their breathe, it may feel as if they're right by me whispering it in my ear. I used to play COD zombies frequently, and occasionally the sounds of the zombies screaming will play in my head as an innervoice, though I know they aren't real and it doesn't sound to be coming from the environment, but my own head. i would always play with a headset so I believe this could just be a sort of [tetris effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetris_effect). I used to play this game all day, every day, and stay up all night playing it as well.


I will constantly get dreams mixed up with real life. For about a year now I've had mostly sane dreams, however there have been a couple nightmares. One that stands out though was not a nightmare neccessarily, but I dreamt my mother was speaking to me and I just started yelling and yelling, stop to breathe, and just yell again. I also dreamt once that I was looking at myself in the mirror, smiling.


I feel this must be a weird combination of neurological and mental disorders. When I talked to my doctor about my symptoms, she simply tells me I have anxiety, and I do, however there must be more to it. A brain tumour, schizophrenia, anything, there's no way this isn't something else. It doesn't help that I am very scatterbrained, and therefore will forget to tell my doctor a lot of the symptoms that I've been meaning to tell her, and the symptoms change frequently as well.",7.275961461899833,7.476510626323751,6.974885341189588,76.03804104626167,63.76550680786687,10.044127717174936,34.94390476948801,9.747274676799606,3.2597086232980335,2808,116,514,51,38,884,289,661,0.102,0.8009999999999999,0.097,-0.04,4,0,3,0,2,0,106.0,0,0,6,1,33,26,1,5,26,5,58,31,19,7,7,122,106,60,0,10,21,1,10,5,0,15,12,13,2,1,28,41,0,2,27,8,0,6,12,14,2,2,17,27,71,12,82,62,9,73,0,4,4,0,23,33,1,18,35,350,99,2,0.0,0.0,0.06417049570618312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829065691160334,0.0,0.13169463243934626,0.0,0.0,0.05258679095068118,0.05471607162602207,0.0,0.0,0.0447178157814986,0.0,0.050304825954142436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05411337728905995,0.05853871969823528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595536590593874,0.1481738959452198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730425113071454,0.0,0.1468157477014796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956343278573371,0.056644847463476665,0.0,0.07106122907547617,0.0,0.052502554103594994,0.07276017288696478,0.0,0.1272257537388422,0.0,0.0566374220985108,0.0,0.0,0.06870329978413033,0.07536456866807405,0.13461256258156307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054932519565130594,0.0739690991062379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05948203645836984,0.05540410084105949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992437941256296,0.09395531057912636,0.0631381628534467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742373512283407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629947874469285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497372311438535,0.0,0.14822849085834586,0.0,0.04407632039089475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058448889747480824,0.0,0.0,0.03613897474021868,0.0,0.0,0.06962841545532887,0.0,0.0,0.09289389122284407,0.16063062025722175,0.0,0.0,0.05819391797727954,0.1656609229488042,0.0,0.0,0.0559052511477302,0.0,0.06222197770805017,0.04389409423684261,0.0,0.0,0.07162993318807354,0.0,0.0,0.06626877663536883,0.06975903486338987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170959519239984,0.0,0.12619349002625885,0.07486612115623201,0.0,0.07003031313809796,0.08911888609206378,0.10002411463900683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741750435841494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496944050446624,0.04212637247040833,0.06761035868690142,0.0,0.0,0.0744911965459649,0.05615712446110764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161133494343125,0.0,0.11143338114745856,0.15187157354715528,0.06503651917973459,0.07361089623631965,0.18617590653242644,0.07008946802660715,0.0,0.05497678101533097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20504377496743595,0.0,0.10570786472307024,0.17242663716221174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474724532824734,0.2528111104364089,0.12921415143983175,0.20881859134330655,0.07668824446282999,0.0755793518499693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04464548617964995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703818570819352,0.0,0.21702953343123144,0.038785876944398986,0.05219578066878548,0.0,0.0,0.11824899798790008,0.060958489532938726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04671272274536057,0.0,0.0,0.04234611047367864
mentalhealth,frexmoco,2019/01/18,"Suicidal brother, don't know how to help So I don't know what to do... The short version of the story is that my brother is going through some tough times right now, doesn't live near family, has a shitty living situation and we recently found out he tried to kill himself. I would like to know from mental health professionals or someone with real knowledge about this stuff how I might be able to help him. I don't want to smother him or make things worse but I don't want him to be alone in this. I love him more than anything but feel so helpless not know how to fix it. I also suffer from depression so I can understand how he feels to an extent but his depression seems more intense. If anyone can guide me in the right direction or has helpful insight it would be appreciated. He has seen a few mental health professionals (which is how we found out) but I think it needs to be on a more regular basis.",4.24142796430089,5.431119917127074,5.095248618784531,83.33070123246921,70.82320441988949,8.221164470888228,27.182745431364218,8.617729084823388,1.8359771355716104,719,24,145,12,13,234,106,181,0.179,0.708,0.113,-0.9237,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,0,0,11,9,2,0,7,0,21,3,0,6,0,42,39,18,2,6,9,2,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,13,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,3,3,19,2,23,29,7,13,0,4,1,1,17,9,0,7,4,105,29,2,0.13297500585893754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772200290636955,0.0,0.106340064142846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297921591945583,0.0,0.10942709961711633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290623553922362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535700105135109,0.0,0.1344723168283082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29160046076080737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557276023984677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826924260728861,0.0,0.0,0.2673910303032665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711714209671176,0.0,0.2923183424929462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496487103568671,0.0,0.2348387327769689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200151344785442,0.0,0.08876184897868362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26801505970129075,0.1410654673504054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859928192422103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135466860113062,0.0,0.0,0.13129677606146264,0.0,0.0,0.2271198568808891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105545114202973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946947801978772,0.0,0.0,0.1126692909440736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222456771706674,0.14545307369288268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834268521166892,0.08520501445900205,0.0,0.0,0.07753879527301674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028130026958836,0.0,0.0,0.13843167071461096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15686420743840784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551289134282946,0.188923257845772,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hautebyme,2019/01/18,"Was it all in my head? Is therapy really this affective? I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks for about 10 years. Last year was extremely hard with major deaths and life changes in my family which made my anxiety resurface harder than it has ever been in my life. My anxiety causes me to then be depressed bc I start feeling like I am never going to be normal. I started getting severely depressed the past 2 months where finally 2 weeks ago I was uncontrollably crying ( I have also been going through a horrible breakup) 

My parents finally realized that I had no control over my emotions and feelings when I was supposed to start a new job this week and simply couldn’t get myself together, the day before I simply couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t eat and had already been that way for over a week. 

They decided to send me to therapy and I had my first session on Wednesday. Since then I feel so good. I haven’t cried since the session and my appetite is coming back and I even drove kinda far alone without panicking (I haven’t been able to do this in months)

Was it all in my head??? Was I just psyching myself out? Or was the one session really that powerful? I’m really dumbfounded over how good I’m feeling now. ",4.219255129348795,6.084011906779661,5.354210526315793,78.79881801962536,71.88135593220339,8.697234611953613,30.217662801070475,9.276330184999452,2.9167576271186437,974,42,173,22,19,322,133,236,0.202,0.725,0.073,-0.9833,3,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,3,11,9,1,2,7,0,27,5,2,5,4,36,43,16,1,4,3,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,12,1,2,6,0,0,5,8,6,0,2,16,5,30,3,24,22,3,45,0,3,0,0,3,12,0,2,28,126,40,5,0.10166438754521977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011934548070093,0.0,0.0,0.10529364512177583,0.11218917970129384,0.08130097398958068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333189346132828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565791758020395,0.0,0.0781736386541407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865089058650244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443733075335528,0.10754744180611807,0.08757486789013176,0.0,0.0,0.11402525533030125,0.0,0.0,0.3350206677796697,0.06556511948172936,0.0,0.1751267760448228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040280490009344,0.0,0.11435875233590508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714836915394314,0.0919612589306816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584013667884717,0.0,0.20561827606368688,0.07262905877581012,0.0,0.22273673447956774,0.0,0.08647567611068747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623089289904494,0.0,0.1155564285973575,0.17054252967746694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910713223197388,0.0,0.2086739835958247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088621756628853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287004481440645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361712699263984,0.04966808448802459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961973016373407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622950884075217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840984308556243,0.09818809900207016,0.0,0.0,0.09960951440099916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889042009567069,0.0,0.0,0.11928125396833646,0.11288627119984986,0.0,0.09705016147714354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953864297806724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485182030867838,0.0,0.1681956638963975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158757303047127,0.0,0.0,0.08499598021773562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23252417459437716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069645874566944,0.24464711816235465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800084169146203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093706476249095
mentalhealth,Dorkota,2019/01/18,"I really need help School was really bad as a kid

My parents would scream at me and hit me over talking in class, getting yellow or red cards, not getting good grades, report cards, homework, and then I would shut down more and it would get worse. There were times as a kid I thought they were going to beat me to death or scared me so much I would go to the bathroom in my pants. 

Now I want to do better for myself in life and I am in college level classes. When I get to school for a class I feel like I have to go to the bathroom really badly. When I have an assignment, homework, or reading (studying) to do I get a tight feeling in my chest, I can’t focus, my hands just start twirling and fiddling intensely and I can’t seem to stop it, I feel like I am about to explode with energy almost like adrenaline, and I feel ready to fight someone or throw up. 

I’m falling behind and failing classes because of this. 

I begin to feel hopeless and like my life is going to suck no matter what. Then I get depressed and then I start thinking It’d be better if I just killed myself rather than suffer a shitty life of poverty and struggle. 

This cycle of wanting to try and better my life and then getting absolutely slammed into these mental barriers is wearing me out so quickly and I’m only 3 weeks in to my first semester. I had begun to not feel depressed and like my life had purpose, meaning, hope and all that before I enrolled in college and now I feel the same way I did when I was a helpless kid. I feel broken. I feel like my parents broke me and I can’t fix this.",3.290490654205609,4.4990158099688475,4.440580218068536,87.048160046729,73.14330218068538,6.596105919003115,27.393691588785053,6.816661863887847,1.2355990654205602,1229,45,250,10,24,403,159,321,0.207,0.684,0.109,-0.9896,2,0,0,1,2,1,27.0,0,0,1,6,13,26,3,2,10,0,24,8,3,0,1,59,59,34,2,10,10,2,11,6,0,4,5,1,2,3,9,21,0,3,13,1,0,6,6,15,0,1,8,14,46,11,40,44,4,40,0,7,2,0,9,15,1,8,24,175,55,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062321241143642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112833200319986,0.05516828576548445,0.0,0.07700928908228641,0.0,0.0,0.2401211046467533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15589595530807826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41183810479657695,0.1939607995424445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697970831563264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309795576103577,0.0,0.20573415710643803,0.07590755447333826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606606005288519,0.0,0.0,0.08988745085823392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012543252726253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196160192743561,0.26528393845157544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858161308600727,0.0,0.0,0.0912032527071895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652830589789775,0.06710499951834492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882973451003302,0.0,0.0,0.2009802668366731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905250251148522,0.0,0.17393087917690322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060682286522373,0.18318274478104568,0.0,0.08238828754171082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668080909904715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281134880827461,0.0,0.0,0.07566249909150961,0.0,0.09461080831184178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274090143932169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057989088182470325,0.0,0.07184731529387513,0.0527715893858924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144392223629418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675911993649218,0.07183511174165172,0.07259406977553785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922277762152368,0.2571559321595909,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,assdragonfart,2019/01/18,"I went to therapy for the first time today I cried a lot, but I’m so so happy. I’ve never really  opened up about my issues to another person, and it feels so good to finally get help. It’s free for me, and I scheduled one-on-one and a group session. I haven’t felt this good in a really long time. ",0.41227272727272535,1.910744469696972,3.5393939393939418,89.27909090909094,81.57575757575758,7.4303030303030315,18.575757575757574,8.344100000000001,0.7372303030303029,229,5,54,5,6,83,47,66,0.024,0.634,0.342,0.981,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,6,7,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,2,2,6,5,8,4,1,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,8,32,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312798949038272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24227847385346635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152345268259717,0.0,0.2117753968540682,0.24161635963443626,0.0,0.18761106566108476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152352425519529,0.0,0.0,0.3699961326971623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347937784555284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478389585758946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23021082443959665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19519161656219625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751506557955872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17011204631428992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945942846917207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19258740233062904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825970489084639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522334033663817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572245163809204,0.0,0.20906825800983125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20446442736111275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AShotOfDepressso,2019/01/18,"Bipolar girlfriend. Need advice on situation. So my long distance girlfriend of almost four months has bipolar disorder and depression.I myself am also depressed. This evening she entered a manic episode. My depression showed a little tonight and she couldn't comfort me as she normally would and we ended our video call to text. She said that if I was there, she would have sex with me regardless of how I felt.. I have never been in a situation to do with bipolar disorder before and my autism and social anxiety makes me easily confused and liable to lash out in unfamiliar situations. I got scared and said that it seemed like she was threatening sexual assualt. Everything has calmed down a bit and she says she still loves me but at the moment feels no sexual attraction to me, which she once did. She says that the sexual attraction might go for good but she doesn't really know.. I'm scared, I don't want to lose her. I'm naïve and ignorant on this, and while I'm trying to do some research, I'd appreciate some advice on my personal situation? Thanks for reading",4.3785555555555575,6.819700100000002,5.381333333333334,76.27122222222225,73.0,9.444444444444443,28.61111111111111,9.861636050157227,3.2351277777777785,860,35,149,25,18,282,121,200,0.127,0.736,0.13699999999999998,0.8019,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,0,1,6,15,0,3,6,0,17,5,0,2,1,37,33,18,0,8,3,0,2,1,2,3,3,4,0,1,7,14,0,1,4,3,0,2,5,7,0,1,8,6,29,8,21,21,3,19,0,3,0,2,24,9,0,7,9,105,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23248513684589175,0.0,0.0,0.11911739632040322,0.0,0.0,0.09512918640439587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100112554349203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122291810094323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986930127650334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146752442735667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049135072465909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726680967407174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535983666538204,0.0,0.0,0.07856941205667822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691011304299332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060147801286857275,0.0,0.1142165542854604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760551870924136,0.09977477082651028,0.09514009623274672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537518647506453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581159638778264,0.11922530847329825,0.0,0.10527244524303953,0.0,0.13308149876709016,0.0,0.0,0.10736256547505707,0.0,0.07940415068538483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619367166051051,0.0,0.0,0.09494966025631907,0.0,0.0,0.08820447443880743,0.09174631265526824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655176559531005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266844124168037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038679177078805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898833650438442,0.0,0.07620635271387624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22630906969283024,0.1891974025567247,0.238191706989354,0.0,0.0,0.10829320698442624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5348467654565999,0.0,0.1212608096144498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499853128417428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951883631357087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076341416006838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016341653481135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16900606517967065,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,warisoveriywi,2019/01/18,"Anxiety twitches that have a severe impact on physical health I’m diagnosed with depression, prescribed 40mg citalopram (UK) but have been advised to stop since I am now pregnant, which is a very wanted thing and not a cause for worry at all.

I’ve never been treated/medicated for anxiety but I’m pretty sure that’s my issue right now. For the last month I have been struggling to breath properly, and been having heart palpitations which make the breathing problem worse. My doctor has told me it’s nothing serious and won’t effect my pregnancy or health.

I’ve had a ‘breathing’ issue for at least 10 years. Especially when I’m trying to sleep, I have to actively move my head to make it feel like I’m getting enough oxygen. These have become more severe over the last few weeks but have come to an abrupt end and been replaced with something else.

I now cannot function without making a weird movement with my left shoulder. The easiest way I can describe it is a mixture of moving it front to back, and tensing a lot, all within the space of about 30 seconds. I can’t stop. I’ve actually dislocated my shoulder and needed putting back into position and it is extremely sore all the time.

Anyone got any advice on how I can help my poor shoulder or stop this all together? Pregnancy makes this harder, but I’m really looking for something I can do on my own.",6.396364942528733,6.941115961685827,6.821683429118775,75.20884698275863,65.62835249042146,9.59013409961686,33.93702107279694,9.516144504307137,3.2155917624521075,1090,46,192,20,16,355,153,261,0.149,0.754,0.098,-0.9212,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,1,14,0,25,15,9,7,6,41,42,15,0,3,8,0,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,13,12,0,3,2,0,1,6,6,5,0,1,8,2,17,2,27,33,10,36,0,1,1,0,3,11,0,3,19,129,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.10916676015642914,0.0,0.0,0.10931584382818668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607388748389962,0.0,0.1711570032056846,0.0,0.0,0.07822051270449372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720387470125848,0.0,0.0,0.12354911062447838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491896650504985,0.0,0.0963641375852273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963515055644305,0.1135433836542298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450135433477608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345112768977942,0.0,0.09908159813511692,0.1155892615855126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656368180165735,0.07991832338631916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844626789484793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947083708384926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480855723877965,0.23782031593225494,0.0,0.1325637899174343,0.07498257639650907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335216765205211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237424942982464,0.0,0.0,0.12154460793859613,0.0,0.0,0.05465291861134538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394071238828557,0.0,0.0,0.09510593733719816,0.0,0.0,0.29869029404274244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425982104922542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929174890865779,0.2377953704848317,0.0,0.08294849884611315,0.08627928410480246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734009693548258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380969106875567,0.0,0.1070423024738461,0.0,0.11245795929748346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166532764206696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553442387588998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25275736934080884,0.0,0.0925381361538855,0.0,0.11194851214350708,0.0,0.0,0.17224247645847926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805792756262693,0.0,0.11694843276079946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543400466179696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431994411454787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523096867151597,0.0,0.0,0.1068944029418041,0.0,0.0759508404634531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230258689066853,0.06598248118937315,0.08879539119561221,0.08973353932242717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783649258908312,0.0,0.0,0.11360710250107595,0.11400276646865602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203914563484197
mentalhealth,tomm-aso,2019/01/18,"My life So after much thinking I finally get it. 10 years from now I’m taking my life. I don’t think much of it. I’m not that great of a person. I’ve had bad things and good things happen to me. No matter what the good is I still fell the same as the bad. I just want to make money. Give a good life to my family. I may be young. Y’all might say it’s dumb. But I want to die. People don’t like me. My anxiety kills me for whatever I do unless money is involved. Nothing seems right when I’m not making money. It’s all I need. It’s all my family needs. I may be too materialistic. But some people just are. I just don’t like anything. When I leave this earth I’m either going to die a rich man or a disappointment to my family. If I die a rich man my family will be well off. If I die a disappointment, well, there isn’t too much to be said. My family is the only people that love me. The only people who care even the slightest. I might be crazy as they say. I might be crazy. But this is how I want it. I’m putting this on here so because it’s the only place I feel I won’t be judged. Won’t be ridiculed. I don’t know you, you don’t know me. ",-1.3208014705882365,0.6161252666666677,1.7240870098039238,96.89495404411768,92.41176470588236,4.9129901960784315,13.458946078431373,6.4784943948869325,-0.8041936274509798,873,14,219,11,32,307,115,255,0.192,0.669,0.139,-0.9531,0,0,0,0,0,1,33.0,0,3,1,0,17,19,3,0,13,0,29,4,0,3,2,38,55,15,5,7,13,0,1,2,0,8,3,3,0,3,16,1,0,0,6,0,5,3,11,7,2,0,2,4,36,12,17,37,8,15,0,2,0,1,14,4,1,10,10,146,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027468725170276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559514605196511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153402976263345,0.0559986279183764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366010924770272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3813557719172733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067442382560832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4329997247606369,0.0,0.04644852356569282,0.0,0.0,0.10063105924704112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799445094751763,0.08812303884193963,0.05220766947009309,0.2311501349098896,0.0,0.10127891241701424,0.0,0.0,0.08123385123894193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016324281870033,0.0,0.10097063648649486,0.0,0.0,0.09726929826604302,0.0,0.0,0.1946559508792465,0.0897589158695319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290964168013712,0.0,0.12263808436601392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923553117433059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20258888578773596,0.1362300041536419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881447045744718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095970885663856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25474402116743977,0.08021093573088132,0.09597693290681504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234735091847986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845021394282971,0.08738243071118157,0.14610575653983424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362832005497893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336164289721674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906929159674158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205894544525225,0.11772377290315315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254893961080594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519113611489622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915654439549393
mentalhealth,burdboxwasok,2019/01/18,Anxiety attacks I’ve recently been having anxiety attacks. Mostly social anxiety and I’m having trust issues with my friends. I can’t shake the feeling I’m being used or that they are talking shit behind my back. Even tho they haven’t given me any real reason to think this. This is giving me major anxiety and I just wanted to vent or maybe get some ideas on how to deal with this anxiety ,4.193679653679657,5.87126787012987,5.659155844155843,77.34682900432901,71.59740259740259,8.25021645021645,27.119047619047624,8.841846274778883,2.3381359307359317,314,11,54,6,6,106,55,77,0.226,0.6559999999999999,0.119,-0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,0,5,6,3,1,1,0,8,1,1,3,0,17,17,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,1,8,2,7,14,3,4,0,0,0,0,7,1,1,4,2,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437641835962285,0.0,0.6433326089709774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826856658077005,0.0,0.1293293688096406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339870438552632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108931794383374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504299632480554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994482515256914,0.0,0.08787344789911669,0.16134522032259094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898684463471608,0.0,0.17554888972516647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897160469784114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143946990996524,0.0,0.17292952563699754,0.1660694410182605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264680809050306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714506992068209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518646593278572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777072787023652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526400142703785,0.0,0.0,0.09920407806842932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ZombiePenguinQueen42,2019/01/18,"Small personal victory today! I'm taking my life back 1 step at a time! Today I drove myself to the pharmacy to get my prescription and then to the grocery store all by myself! This is huge for me. I have severe depression, PTSD, panic disorder, anxiety and minor agoraphobia. I've only gone out alone twice since last August. I am so proud of myself and I just had to share it. It may seem small to most but for me it's a huge step in the right direction. It took me 2 hours to prepare for the trip but I made it! And I only had a few minor moments of anxiety but I was able to work through it. I can do this. ",0.5095535714285688,2.645037812500004,3.186651785714286,88.50031250000002,84.9375,6.7821428571428575,20.080357142857142,7.957251820313856,0.9782169642857136,472,14,102,10,14,165,81,128,0.115,0.815,0.07,-0.5457,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,7,0,9,1,0,1,1,14,17,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,2,0,1,7,0,16,2,17,9,3,23,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,3,9,72,24,1,0.19625556474466144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20326157749395427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002699397091261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090841515559655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903463033848082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249258799821313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253543242936697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19327219860047012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599744791481947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386211093457356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18570176062243487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985224012055257,0.0,0.23026361960420794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136278920501882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294122528520613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760117996975327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17866369530001416,0.0,0.22171292623590785,0.0,0.162344631205831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475597603815955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443819804805662,0.0,0.37205465563415374,0.0,0.21804715361003674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287638852660853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lockdownx,2019/01/18,"I live with an abusive female. The police don't care. My disability decision is imminent. Need some positive vibes.. It goes without saying that reporting to police, at least in my area, repeatedly that you're being abused by your female partner, isn't very popular. I showed them a video of her cornering me and allowing her 6-year-old son to destroy my headphones.  I have reported her multiple times to multiple agencies.  


Then you add crippling anxiety on top of it and my extreme paranoia that someone is going to seriously make me pay (I know, irrational), I'm living in a situation that is completely debilitating. I tried leaving, for a week, and my health didn't allow me to survive homelessness/shelter very long, and I found myself coming back, because sadly, an abusive partner is still less scary than being homeless in a 30-day shelter, waiting on a disability decision. I've been told several times I have a strong case, but man I'm scared.  


Started to isolate and consider suicide last night, but called a friend instead of feeding it. Still living on a knifes edge right now, and I think I'm just trying to find some support while my brain tells me to isolate and blame myself for being abused.  Before you tell me I should have left a long time ago, I had two options. One was bad and one was worse. I took the one that was bad.  


I just want to leave with my head above water so I can continue to go to counseling and find support groups instead of being in this volatile and toxic situation.  


Thanks all. Any support is welcome :)",5.229208108964208,7.069081076655053,5.943720304086161,75.68445597085841,69.2439024390244,8.84187519797276,33.25451377890402,9.339509955726095,3.310381184668989,1227,58,208,26,22,400,169,287,0.191,0.7020000000000001,0.107,-0.9669,1,0,0,0,2,1,41.0,0,3,1,3,9,15,1,1,13,0,22,5,2,3,1,37,43,15,1,3,5,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,3,9,14,2,1,7,2,1,4,4,6,0,4,9,1,34,9,30,29,5,35,0,1,0,0,19,13,0,3,18,140,43,3,0.0,0.4507937538281335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431574115570667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468302092047401,0.0,0.0727644687632271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313932704242504,0.15883793313117553,0.05798261893867832,0.0,0.0809378105851958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618235611542193,0.09712539085812452,0.0,0.09697841940306566,0.0,0.0,0.0819351256201792,0.0997286719812693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613427850987703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738709651319479,0.0,0.0,0.10429120221837793,0.07348738458851915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811469913060133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761778391168854,0.1011052345262062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05227397667605198,0.07753328889444308,0.0,0.20143095877325345,0.1033452171052376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519709369270203,0.16835162219734762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349153164546177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052826749941736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926113601629525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980959850556316,0.0,0.193361818083944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122964847165792,0.0,0.07564108908654614,0.09522900359404453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745546697830882,0.0,0.0,0.21383164507992755,0.0,0.0,0.080592573653635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732450951969092,0.0,0.1519215860440334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404288033160687,0.3238139305638344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662734130144278,0.08757122394178697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094732065771785,0.0,0.0,0.16639097530550567,0.0,0.0,0.09088864958070712,0.1056788122922841,0.12915679650694484,0.0,0.09291577413397713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696345635357647,0.05610264378904365,0.0,0.0762973550219732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168967614027143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693264761899598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125241812018276
mentalhealth,CocaChan,2019/01/18,"Is it worth it? So I'll start by saying that I'm 15 and I live in Sweden. I wanna write a text here because I'm bored and don't have anyone to turn to. No escape so to say. It's hard for me to imagine being happy once. Don't remember the feeling. Don't remember the feeling of looking forward to something. Or the feeling of purpose, a reason to do something, get out of my bed. I don't go to school currently, or I haven't gone for 3 weeks. And I'm not planning to go in the future. I'm ready to live my life, to do something I wanna do. To do something fucking exciting for once. I'm very lonely, but I've realized that it has nothing to do with how many people are around me. Its about being cared for, being listened to. I'm a good person, a good friend. But how much does it fucking take to get some love back? I've met many girls recently. Ive been nice, done everything I wanted to do, everything i thought would make them feel better. But every single one of em drifted away slowly. I guess I was too ""interested"" said a fucking tutorial on YouTube about ""how to get a girl to like you"". Wow I'm really that desperate? Do you really need all these strategies, all these lies just to get a girl to appreciate you? So fucking ridiculous. How much does it take? I'm gonna be myself. But that's clearly not enough for anyone. I'm so disconnected with the people around me, I honestly don't like my family. I know that's hard to believe, oh maybe I'm just going through a little phase? I'm tired of all that. My dad nor his girlfriend says they care but there's a huuuuge fucking difference between actually caring and reassuring that they do care. Maybe I would get a reaction if i told them that I'm on the verge of doing one thing. My mother died when i was six. And I've not really anything to say about that. I'm not looking for any pity, that's the worse of it all. Treating me like a victim. I'm right now thinking about going to the hospital and just say that I'm planning to do one thing. But I don't know.

Is it worth it?",1.617494419306183,3.4540182776470587,3.7084705882352966,87.8842202111614,79.16470588235293,6.617797888386126,23.83861236802413,7.61054688173877,1.1099218702865763,1588,55,339,24,39,542,189,425,0.09,0.723,0.187,0.9941,1,2,4,0,0,0,55.0,0,3,4,3,23,30,7,0,19,0,33,8,0,6,5,59,91,25,1,7,16,2,6,3,2,3,2,7,1,4,25,11,0,0,13,0,2,7,13,10,0,4,9,15,34,20,55,75,9,26,0,2,2,6,28,12,5,5,12,216,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0739668653734955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515445084739804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599794524209563,0.0,0.0623744113053407,0.13495066701312544,0.0,0.0,0.0712137065157582,0.05828315698418798,0.0,0.046205102215352435,0.0,0.0,0.0853971789732517,0.0,0.06703622096355434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091200682701764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866524179635259,0.07919165451230913,0.0,0.0,0.13266080044573625,0.07756657083666556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831848575579299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386217876224615,0.0,0.13624277830985435,0.0,0.07145459553382845,0.0,0.15330081174369373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058560516558289165,0.3503651808842087,0.1980038256501684,0.0,0.1723085578316024,0.12714972976566,0.0,0.0,0.08349885877277295,0.0,0.0,0.08068723654934475,0.13579831428859215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331201590167381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353761000663567,0.11109164733114732,0.07596843183918113,0.13386014762255896,0.0,0.1273006548212627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840968450249932,0.0,0.050595036291658665,0.15369237115917536,0.15229639877033585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143892298171744,0.05620245978072717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272919419636373,0.0,0.0,0.16144250365983429,0.15408587491647832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509608872871047,0.06618295165439639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567235394874078,0.07793186329345927,0.0748403196445672,0.0,0.1717262815501385,0.06473016016264224,0.07210023339716781,0.3013837868052076,0.0,0.07671053513133126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23340870516896975,0.0,0.0,0.053649453938009635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397970974650112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071221849964787,0.048567609264423904,0.0,0.06017429218598457,0.0,0.0871174155939093,0.0,0.07242721044617317,0.0,0.0,0.08244528922359977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625404015689786,0.04470699044425325,0.0,0.06079972157310876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724354251706278,0.10768792219888,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Earnest-Lemmingway,2019/01/18,"I want to die, bulimia relapse, cutting, everything is too much, I need help, please I apologize in advance because this is going to be such a clusterfuck of a post

I just want to die, I swear. I want to take a knife and slice off all the slabs of fat on my stomach and my thighs and everything that's making me too much

I feel so trapped. I'm a senior in high school and I gave up my senior year to do ballet full-time but it's killing me. It's too much. starvingpukingdancingstarvingpukingdancing it's too much and there's no way out, not for another six months and by then I'll be hooked on it enough to love it again and hate myself

It's the most toxic relationship. I've been killing myself for dance for so long and it's finally killing me. I have a bulimia relapse every month and the rest of the month is barely eating and I hate it I just want it to end god I just want to end

I miss school I want to cut up my stomach so bad, just relapse for once back into cutting

I'm sorry this is everywhere. I wouldn't actually kill myself but I pray that I'll die

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry",0.7100862068965519,2.85759928448276,2.880924137931036,90.93648965517244,84.17241379310346,5.7809655172413805,20.055862068965517,7.087006719466742,0.3407108275862072,862,25,194,12,25,292,110,232,0.254,0.632,0.114,-0.9911,0,1,0,0,0,5,16.0,0,0,0,1,15,12,9,0,9,0,10,6,4,1,1,31,31,16,7,8,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,13,12,2,0,1,2,0,3,3,11,0,1,2,1,26,1,26,26,8,28,1,1,0,1,5,10,0,1,13,123,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.09343149370008866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039503047520804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362056492582844,0.07994152285531053,0.05836412959704205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980987908382632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796913470363187,0.0,0.0,0.16960000825692184,0.09892825755888936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066772496806109,0.0,0.17209552167802208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841060843367101,0.0,0.0,0.1048819301776959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054413032964904726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890530583252312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417460868279021,0.1011578842616196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4237023963240213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472966619694937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641192207275318,0.0,0.06390928952673648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22926378314263374,0.0,0.28152889751204435,0.07099232528534477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196331957191013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509721679047157,0.0,0.0,0.09169546244247133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279230168161962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937943386856466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4287064272934325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198692603332969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3388307081786051,0.07599644819725063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061655443212721525
mentalhealth,Hanzojapa,2019/01/18,"I'm losing it. I don't now how many people feel this way, i mean, once i grew up i got this anxiaty, this feeling of emptiness in my chest, like i had no control. I tried everything to fill it, friends, relationships, pets, family, food and nothing worked. Then one day i got angry with something, and that worked, so thats what i used, i got angry to wake up, to go to work, to study, and that worked, I did better on my personal life, my professional life, but now, i'm just angry all the time, with everything and everyone, is hard to control, the small thinks just make me want to jump on someone, i don't know what to do. I just want to enjoy my things and my family, but is like i'm always ready to explode.",3.451849315068493,4.1214288424657575,4.8135890410958915,86.55572602739728,72.21917808219176,8.305753424657535,25.558904109589037,8.548686976883017,1.470229589041096,545,16,121,9,10,182,83,146,0.106,0.754,0.14,0.6203,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,8,7,6,0,0,2,0,7,5,2,5,1,25,23,10,0,2,5,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,1,1,11,7,1,2,5,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,5,3,18,5,18,18,1,16,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,7,74,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666329799908992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400153002690432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31450771981608816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042179369796284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339736157828589,0.2520176812282308,0.0,0.26434900554628576,0.0,0.14178555217871974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953863168976038,0.0,0.10832343392897463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968276142633543,0.0,0.3364085832754476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255977627081249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705399627948824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980644332089012,0.13699593089891798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685555734176532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358913467606332,0.14214769943223635,0.0,0.1527263195773885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453221599224796,0.0,0.0,0.14931567723721606,0.09500776331830804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972017486583004,0.1224231788260198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052964345220887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187967754767454,0.10793805254284232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314717481725182,0.0898388628113696,0.0,0.0,0.08175571866657262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519122085536713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109366758056778,0.0,0.0,0.16539521883250435,0.11128964001797366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40828891135011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,purple71,2019/01/18,Question about anxiety Do any of you have sudden confusion or suddenly lose track of what's going on arround you often times a little after going through an anxious situation? I don't really know of any link and I may just be putting one and the other together when I shouldn't but I can't explain it any other way. Also if it matters I'm 18 and male. ,4.217500000000001,5.173940194444448,6.251000000000001,75.89399999999998,70.66666666666667,9.093333333333334,31.06666666666667,9.3871,2.94518,282,12,52,6,5,99,55,72,0.098,0.884,0.018000000000000002,-0.4854,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,1,5,2,0,1,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,16,12,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,0,6,0,7,9,0,11,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,6,5,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200667926200448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5119212179444134,0.0,0.19196008958902774,0.2834784808930166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28521760254352724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790408171001198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514968991770953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807254995298206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700360654651882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522530721784358,0.28109804165908503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607516193546125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28205484382822865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631878749495875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991758552645232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Proudlocket,2019/01/18,"I’ve been blocking out childhood trauma, but now the memories are back. If I share or bring up my childhood with anyone I’m afraid something will happen to my family, but more importantly my mother. She’s getting older and I can’t express how deeply she needs my father to be in the picture. He’s been at death’s door before, so my mother has told me how helpless and unable to physically or mentally function she’d be if he died... Her saying this had scared me so much that I decided that if he died I would leave school for a year to comfort her, I was 18 years old then. He lived through the ordeal, and now we just continue life as normal. 

Now that I’m older I’ve been living with my boyfriend instead of my childhood home. My friend told me something abusive that my father did when I was 14, and then all my memories came flooding back in. What he exposed me to would have lead to his incarceration if i told the school or anyone else but my friends. I told my mother of the abuse on two occasions, and I don’t know if she thought abuse stopped, but she never asked me about it again. 

My mother has always been overly caring and protective of me, except when it came to my father. I’m not in any physical danger when Im at home, just mentally. 

TLDR: If I ever put my dad in jail, I know she would forgive me. I just don’t know if I could forgive myself for taking away her happiness. What should I do? Or not do ",3.6064541110561876,4.71414802076125,4.802748393475039,85.14071510957325,72.25259515570934,7.442478167737685,26.218652166749052,7.793537801064563,1.3992084692700613,1114,36,228,14,21,368,147,289,0.138,0.76,0.103,-0.9034,0,0,2,0,2,0,29.0,1,0,0,1,19,13,1,2,6,0,26,1,0,3,3,55,46,31,3,14,21,8,0,0,2,5,1,1,3,0,9,12,0,3,7,0,0,5,6,5,0,1,15,1,48,8,29,22,3,39,0,1,0,0,36,11,0,11,23,165,57,3,0.0,0.3684515995523936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625135264317951,0.0,0.0,0.07049066177054387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495948312718865,0.10620936928010673,0.0,0.0,0.09690577966882633,0.0,0.0973896433984452,0.1594124544990406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820490677799303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371131548843113,0.10568574046020847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276208751987857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151602611697785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865925490589701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376415283558807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771907570461608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017107110071632,0.0,0.05415677097871812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166399428295116,0.11034534752952137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079538696826016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196789915825546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17090237083097615,0.0,0.0,0.10975833675470303,0.0,0.0,0.07321636524841632,0.0,0.0,0.18306296189399304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089247803415392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620019727167764,0.07686073066494989,0.07994706245192834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015623518074512,0.0,0.0,0.1087711202969256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420442854221468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243261293115603,0.1037792513022366,0.2098138694603997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960123180408212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666232033158308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793754762935784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822924847543233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961967740654596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125832582369798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209059643373789,0.0,0.0,0.13350407655345156
mentalhealth,GhostRyder8840,2019/01/18,"Help with an advert to seek help.... Hi all, i don’t want to make this too long, i’ll try my best!

I’m a serving British Infantryman and i’m looking to scope some help from anyone with experience in producing or any type of PS/CGI type stuff. 

Last year (2018) 71 British soldiers committed suicide due to lack of the correct support system, averaging almost 6 suicides per month since the end of the Iraq/Afghan conflicts. I have no doubt other nations will support this also.  

There seems to be a lack of hard hitting ad’s to demonstrate the struggles, demons, thoughts and memories, and i want to change that. Not only in terms of conflict, but also with personal life for those serving. 

I’m fortunate enough to have some a***holes who forced me to get help, but i’m also unfortunate enough to know some people who have fallen off of the wagon with nobody to pick them up. Everything seem’s to be orientated towards safe spaces and PC’ism’s. I’d like to put something out there (not mainstream TV media) to show that scar’s aren’t always visible...

If anyone would be willing to put a hand in it would be greatly appreciated, from any nation, race, religion or background. 

Lastly thanks to everyone here, you’re all awesome and reading some of the threads has helped me through some unfavourable times 👌🏻",6.207987804878048,7.180530398373985,6.043648373983737,79.1171798780488,66.15447154471545,8.589024390243901,33.66768292682927,8.660442795831766,2.762407317073172,1042,45,187,15,16,326,159,246,0.1,0.7240000000000001,0.17600000000000002,0.9729,1,0,1,0,0,2,37.0,0,0,1,2,7,9,0,2,10,0,14,2,1,3,4,44,31,13,2,7,7,0,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,10,10,0,3,4,3,0,3,5,2,0,0,1,3,7,7,38,21,13,23,1,0,1,0,10,10,0,12,10,111,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892224400159584,0.0,0.0,0.2849200032922253,0.09881887970970207,0.0,0.0,0.16152345470982024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608126466360984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463261238525335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256336628775469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051872236208599,0.2454242510296392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348147060289222,0.10673496015089874,0.11617129798532685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062047855167579526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093470526525314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638675931275934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3980158364185888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526808105111154,0.1936125508522896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388458810839297,0.05802075137771452,0.0,0.0,0.10509997537356353,0.09972954521397938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792740613398496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479410240380227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032328764516667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233410226678327,0.10369774890284833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23877573101795616,0.0,0.0,0.11879339562675308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162315762859124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982405391544288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142821789946178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415505180027335,0.13595322604797094,0.2598110791668696,0.26953773444472723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933940950002476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942831724111288,0.0692506440933575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063109790706917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009693292312547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872917929623846,0.0,0.0,0.07647835585992764
mentalhealth,Dr_Applesauce,2019/01/18,What's it like not to have adult ADD? Are you able to just sit down and get work done and then stop when you're ready to stop (instead of getting distracted and switching between tasks constantly)? ,7.653684210526315,7.089772263157894,6.104210526315793,85.13947368421054,63.21052631578947,9.705263157894738,34.78947368421053,8.841846274778883,2.6144315789473684,158,6,32,2,2,46,32,38,0.166,0.718,0.116,-0.2869,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,6,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,20,3,1,0.35642865948912045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851727573066625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647502680447642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37243852706531416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413303911937428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5959806383035802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25948430915292603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,therobloxman,2019/01/18,I think I have a mental disorder but im not quite sure So basically I have a problem in which randomly a thought just pops into my head that a serial killer is going to murder me and its impossible to dismiss the thought of it and sometimes I even have a vision of a hooded figure in a mask with a knife for like a single second and then it goes away I have had no past traumas and I live in a very safe area so it is completely irrational if somebody is able to identify it can you please give advice.,2.9856428571428566,4.2323622666666685,5.037321428571428,82.32455357142858,73.95238095238095,8.29761904761905,26.458333333333336,8.841846274778883,1.9694047619047617,398,14,82,8,8,138,72,105,0.263,0.63,0.108,-0.9671,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,1,4,6,1,0,11,0,9,1,1,0,1,18,14,9,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,3,0,9,3,12,11,1,9,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,2,3,63,16,0,0.21912795335134536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141292999233076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058779254247177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297514900051084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511396188962101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473194654361565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21020750001007024,0.1245354656952362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22488849855455276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366957921650388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705484942700842,0.0,0.19349399741944806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208294375334864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091824263186051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24053668989038485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096758574807208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330695513820849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21672314895173936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065255027608364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040834450858572,0.0,0.34792623626211505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18080351045063126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,endofenergy,2019/01/18,"What do you do when you feel you've got nothing left to give? You know how you meet some folks that give out good energy, and you meet some that seem to try and take that from others?

​

I am a giver by nature, but it feels like the wheels are starting to fall off, and the tank is drying up. 

​

I don't have support unfortunately, outside of my dog. Life has not been super kind, yet I tread on.

​

How do you others in this boat keep on going?

​

Peace and loves",4.148398268398267,5.210823060606064,4.22874458874459,89.93454545454546,70.91919191919192,6.465223665223665,23.233766233766232,6.18269132825596,0.3512008658008656,389,9,82,2,7,120,71,99,0.094,0.721,0.185,0.8616,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,6,0,1,4,7,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,2,0,16,23,8,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,10,7,12,21,2,12,0,0,0,1,12,7,0,3,4,55,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774905136108133,0.5354900431044469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141377192553886,0.07870776415913866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113763667220844,0.06261397491868922,0.09240806249734614,0.0881155815829067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792701234772493,0.0,0.1147284456478802,0.060548315646526824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970351642891999,0.0,0.0778185973429867,0.0538250659723768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943562463847247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057141676205798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029755374187224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798116600938343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502325456013338,0.0,0.0,0.08283654366466969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480037850630343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5354900431044469,0.0
mentalhealth,Artemis2611,2019/01/18,"I think I have PTSD after experience with my thesis Hi, this will be a pretty long post and english is not my 1st language so please bear with me.

I am a master student who is studying abroad. I worked in an institute for one of my project and also my dissertation. I guess everything started to build up from here. At the beginning I was really motivated and a hard-working student, so I tried to help and finish all the tasks they gave me including taking over some work during holidays time. After my first project, I thought I would have my summer holidays free since normally the work for dissertation starts from August. However, only after 2 weeks I was required to come and start working because according to my promoter, it was late to start in Aug and some experiments regarding my thesis had been started already. So in the nutshell, ever since I started working at that place until when I finished (almost 1 year), I never had a vacation that lasted for a week and during all periods when students can stay home for holidays I had to be present at my workplace. Oh, during my first project I tried to tell ppl who was responsible for the course in my univ that I had worked more than required hours and I was asked to come also during Easter holiday, but that person told me ""It's good because you will have more practical experience"" so I guessed the univ would not do anything. Anyway, I tried to keep up and even though I started to feel stressed, I  still managed to get through... Until winter holidays - the period which I have to finish and submit my thesis.

I know so well that I am not good (bad, even) in writing so I asked my promoter up front if she could try to read and correct my thesis at least twice and she said fine. As my prediction, the first draft got a lot of correction and comments that I thought it was best to rewrite a whole chapter, and because of the limited time I had left I had to stay up almost every night to rewrite and adapt my work. However, when I sent my 2nd version my promoter replied that she would not revise it anymore since she already gave me feedbacks. Okay, so, from this point I started to panic but still tried my very best to finish writing and correcting just in time for my submission deadline. However, well, first of all, my promoter sent me an email just 2 days before the dealine and asked if I could postpone my submission, and she said she should have adviced me so when she read my 1st draft. When I came to the office to deliver my printed thesis, I met my supervisor and she told me my promoter was upset bc of my thesis and I was not at the level they expected, I would be in trouble if the jury member had the same standard. The only thing I can do now is try to defense my thesis well at the end of this month, only then I could barely pass and graduate or I will have to wait until Sept for a retake. I have to say that since the submission of my thesis and when I heard the words from my supervisor I have been incredibly disappointed and have lost most of my motivation. I tried again and again to get myself together and prepare for my defense but whenever I open my thesis or the workscreen I started to cry, and whenever I receive any email from my promoter or my supervisor I start to panic (i.e. tight chest, raising heart beat, and the feeling is just simply terrified). I DID try to relax by hanging out with friends, shopping, watching movies...but none of those was effective. Now I start to lose my interest to do anything and just want to stay in bed for the whole day. It feels like I don't have any will or motivation left to go on, I start hating myself for being so weak and incompetent. And most of all, I feel extremely lonely, to the point that everyday I wish I didn't have to wake up, I just want to sleep forever and to be stuck in my dreams, bc at least I can see ppl I want to see and I can go home without worrying anything....

​

I wonder if I have PTSD/depression? How can I really stay calm to prepare for my defense? I just want to have it over asap and I don't know what I would do if I failed and had to wait more than half a year in order to redo it. Thinking about going back to the office and seeing my promoter/supervisor is really terrifying to me...",7.260156432993143,6.3834716270983245,7.707519379844964,74.34872093023256,64.14388489208632,10.971568791478443,35.58239919692153,10.260061789724556,3.5125066421281588,3363,135,640,67,43,1112,321,834,0.079,0.795,0.126,0.9814,3,2,0,0,0,0,90.0,0,1,2,31,41,31,4,4,34,1,70,5,4,5,9,132,133,71,0,21,24,0,5,1,1,10,1,4,3,1,25,43,0,10,15,10,2,12,11,16,3,7,37,13,124,16,110,78,21,117,0,5,4,0,38,33,0,19,67,484,149,30,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04950276575901237,0.0,0.0,0.10145406537160416,0.0,0.11180552593856984,0.08102294874091341,0.0,0.05488831484991445,0.06155545554747442,0.06889884760733889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05023948351710026,0.0,0.0,0.1250625484563558,0.0,0.14207619232047342,0.0,0.0,0.03895315398298217,0.04229761687585908,0.09264260317345248,0.0,0.04310653551599921,0.0,0.1063256526188458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057939671417924686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727538778273136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133974158716487,0.0,0.055645832722203935,0.06534090619431975,0.0,0.04363197358637906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04486827317749344,0.0,0.0,0.06691874162163314,0.04582338933261352,0.04268185547480543,0.0,0.0455284699489842,0.14866079797421194,0.0,0.0,0.10245756123314194,0.03619034445422148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235990982715652,0.0,0.0,0.03913852537941406,0.0,0.05293380735613235,0.0,0.08637094488062302,0.0849796623714125,0.040516120402324815,0.0,0.11161179563631088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04537994268694159,0.05001464535972909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060030403742056815,0.033955232703482566,0.0,0.10162893649130958,0.0,0.04988828293605218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045027480402967,0.0,0.0,0.055681022648292534,0.041293326904148456,0.05714483967907584,0.0,0.11008091865460973,0.0,0.0,0.024749117175695282,0.0,0.0,0.04483105688772747,0.0,0.056673749984219424,0.055299587112902775,0.04306792843034055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04043502181975662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03907085232409868,0.0,0.0,0.04753944172772881,0.04963443968367308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03432741763257876,0.11558390282151053,0.0,0.11887334741238124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044232928349117726,0.05292720696687705,0.05560766985347921,0.09577705401387697,0.0,0.04851670822766579,0.05153776690355196,0.0,0.0,0.11843383023690544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134414319889316,0.0,0.09735913303337748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963754072035177,0.040285563318344285,0.0,0.0,0.12110446899937118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762048454755546,0.0,0.050694947590763234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43027499850438616,0.2159802974295818,0.08091166782378825,0.0,0.05802898334709021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038088784259709824,0.0,0.04427764188115948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033655165215645766,0.06491966668091337,0.04977158417276696,0.08043416282249541,0.08861789606970719,0.0,0.0,0.09681247300426912,0.0,0.275149623915211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041798454622746006,0.11951845939732925,0.0,0.08127016582860368,0.0,0.13664385574920546,0.0,0.0,0.11311650574063647,0.058254617069668266,0.048832853920983216,0.05493683343640572,0.29503913122782377,0.051446026364759936,0.0,0.17993123710930795,0.0,0.06155545554747442,0.06524464939310921
mentalhealth,ArmYourFears,2019/01/18,"Zoloft Alternatives? I'm experiencing pretty much the full gambit of zoloft side effects. I've been on and off for 3 years, started at 50 mg and taking 100 mg now. This dosage is the only one that's had an effect on my body focused repetitive behaviors, which I've struggled with for 20+ years. The bad news is that I'm also experiencing: insomnia at night, extreme fatigue during the day, difficulty orgasming, trembling in limbs and jaw, diarrhea, and puffy hands. 

​

Has anyone had better luck with another SSRI or anti-depressant?",6.5727551020408175,8.305154438775514,7.329183673469387,67.4515306122449,65.83673469387755,10.089795918367347,33.38775510204081,10.290406445055957,3.8833510204081634,437,19,68,11,7,145,76,98,0.142,0.7490000000000001,0.109,-0.3527,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,2,6,0,2,5,0,6,8,4,2,0,11,10,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,3,1,2,11,7,2,15,0,1,0,1,0,8,0,2,7,37,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909602937366604,0.0,0.2587288882799503,0.2901560127125816,0.0,0.2503921577864423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696753501608774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937969349407603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111903687475134,0.0,0.26524188227338763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539998091131706,0.0,0.20566949541686655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17553814116498198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240882588816429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618102983464523,0.18161057146582474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429352981932182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690168060999578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496351771028928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795403782097521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901560127125816,0.30754588931819954
mentalhealth,DCT1997,2019/01/18,"I'm addicted to the internet. I need help. I spend an unhealthy amount of time on my laptop. I do nothing but be on Reddit, YouTube, and looking up lots of other things. The internet is pretty much my life. I know it's not healthy to spend so much time on my laptop. I cut myself off from the real world, and am apart of the virtual world.

I spend lots of time on Reddit just browsing through lots of different subs. I go on YouTube to watch videos and lsiten to music. I do a lot of research on lots of different topics. Pretty much whatvever pops into my head.

I want to get out of my comfort zone, and start to get involved in the real world. I want to make friends, I want to get a job, etc. It's so hard to take that first step though.

I have social anxiety, and interacting with people is a bit nerve wracking for me. I use the internet because it's comfortable and familiar for me. However, I know the longer I isolate myself from the outside world, the worse it's going to get. I just need the confidence to break my habit and step outside of my comfort zone.

I'm 21 years old. I don't want to keep wasting my life. How can I wean myself off my laptop and the internet and get out into the world?",2.3481184668989563,4.0455685853658565,3.8484901277584207,88.33524390243905,76.5609756097561,6.962137049941927,25.53542392566783,7.793537801064563,1.358791173054588,936,34,197,14,21,310,117,246,0.086,0.774,0.14,0.9302,4,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,1,0,16,0,9,4,1,3,0,37,32,14,0,6,4,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,7,14,0,1,2,1,3,4,2,1,0,1,0,3,32,4,41,31,11,32,0,0,2,0,5,20,0,5,7,132,39,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334587433376455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655640371356227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897277006936951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235261608485806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364270401408431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618773291979812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624195582642348,0.0,0.0,0.08741634256955133,0.0,0.2955706552876505,0.0,0.12860699328087308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013566192709655,0.0,0.11612047002469815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583939929422304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227997665010103,0.10056939074203952,0.0,0.0,0.12436419878522655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598367750747802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501416914677584,0.0,0.0,0.480963545372584,0.0,0.0,0.07552585401783772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495260537171461,0.16779269604130728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856666792459893,0.0,0.11872772590215143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844121120315233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302203797019003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25756990727925066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533812937956953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008534281705504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850717338128383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751691951397118,0.0,0.1111654005892695,0.0,0.19792908101481446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772184230391937,0.0,0.0,0.2669458414383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153054715157132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286233406711566
mentalhealth,DontBeTHATVegan,2019/01/18,"Rape Dreams? CW: Rape So to start off: I have never been raped, and I do not want in ANY way to say that my experiences are similar to someone who actually went through that. In fact, I feel bad even mentioning this. 

​

However, over the past year, I have had many nightmares where someone (different every time) would hold me down and stick it in me while I am begging him to stop. That I do not want it. And then, after he does it, he leaves. Then, later on in my dream, I start to feel his presence, and because of that, I get this sickening anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, and my mind goes blank (Yes, this is still a dream. My dreams are oddly extremely vivid). 

​

A few days ago, when I had an extremely vivid dream about this, I woke up and felt off for the rest of the day. As if the guy in my dream was going to materialize out of the blue and rape me again. Even to this day, a few days later, the dream is affecting me, and I am now very aware that I can be raped sometime in the future. 

​

I hope I am explaining this correctly, but I do not know what else to do outside of talking to a psychologist.",3.3760537084399016,4.534695873913043,4.359514066496164,87.90438618925833,72.86956521739131,7.8465473145780065,26.572890025575447,8.313332769828598,1.5127263427109967,881,30,193,14,17,286,127,230,0.081,0.835,0.083,-0.3732,2,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,0,9,8,5,1,13,1,20,6,1,1,3,31,35,16,0,5,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,16,9,0,2,6,7,0,2,4,7,0,0,7,8,27,1,33,26,3,41,0,0,3,5,10,15,0,2,23,137,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.11023819549899297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013724783751192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36719475899504456,0.4117969503416131,0.07682052731803668,0.0,0.0,0.1276190493116979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432161336624947,0.06886282209401495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29141403919512565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802507849879545,0.0,0.0,0.09885701645422354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436831934102748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922551529833514,0.0,0.09517844661708193,0.0,0.0,0.11050209873836978,0.0,0.0,0.1713565064217043,0.0,0.10846475570259403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059019898521732526,0.0,0.0642009918511302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185377076723596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112200396496781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208297627598861,0.0,0.0,0.11961433039872957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452945567583868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406312077861837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712608650315637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783851148351337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983483250856925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143088612394327,0.0,0.1117259331879958,0.0,0.15991536106792387,0.0,0.09021452759019964,0.09444435588004063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079752407148768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587118887374775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932085059970249,0.13326015447265924,0.08966688834591174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047203050639348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024756869374054,0.0,0.4117969503416131,0.07274618582336337
mentalhealth,VegetableInternal,2019/01/18,"Am i really depressed? I don't feel depressed but from time to time I find that some things don't make me as happy as before. Sometimes there is a feeling of nothing. For example, hmm, I don't know what to say, and I don't care. What has happened to me? I sometimes have to worry, maybe too much. I'm overloading things and it's exhausting",0.843,3.161226371428576,2.6567857142857183,91.5994642857143,85.28571428571428,5.7857142857142865,23.035714285714285,7.1686216300943375,0.930571428571429,266,10,56,4,8,88,47,70,0.214,0.6920000000000001,0.094,-0.8269,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,0,9,15,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,3,8,2,9,15,2,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,39,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864235644850014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233698007461019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37739187082057335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221549975483803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023796570470767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19373444373305607,0.23321801203832845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040233101558465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623965682269408,0.0,0.22009840019798452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105127150806847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102161235532267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403502307170661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17422365822705754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333575352742528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910981264316009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25549821103646114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224895018517146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nbasra12,2019/01/18,"Mental Health and Awareness along with personal development Hi all! I’m really passionate about talking to people about mental health and issues they may have and give a number of talks about this topic across New York. I have decided to create a channel and post a video everyday called the Thought Of The Day, where I talk about topics that people may have issues with in their life or just stuff going on in the world around us with a possible solution. Would love for some of you to come join me on this journey through the internet because I believe it will be worth while for your time. :)

[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSLO3COV93folgu0ztKtOZg](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSLO3COV93folgu0ztKtOZg) ",10.465714285714286,13.165031285714289,7.57,65.72500000000001,57.57142857142857,9.171428571428573,29.17857142857143,9.516144504307137,2.6804428571428573,592,17,85,10,8,168,80,112,0.0,0.8220000000000001,0.17800000000000002,0.9583,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,2,2,0,7,2,0,0,8,0,8,5,0,0,1,19,14,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,5,10,0,0,2,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,2,23,8,2,17,0,0,0,2,13,8,0,4,5,63,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475653368482807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010483552757034,0.0,0.0,0.1867595582888842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926384460320534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142791233558861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690423536779553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590161842867721,0.09420764988063686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523993170933605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460296443125156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708420016794265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960871792229202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33410277495414625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009615675235336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298401345905253,0.1447389593642334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687429836533812,0.15875634109561626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619283058866326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18976042072841184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997051031979417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159830762700914,0.09665847395362452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939399663551552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775417539969325,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kingfuckingcrimson,2019/01/18,Advice I don’t usually post stuff like this on social media but I don’t feel like I can talk to my friends about it. I get really nervous sometimes when I talk to girls etc and I can’t even keep a conversation in person. I only feel comfortable on texts and even feel nervous and anxious on voice calls. It has caused me to lose several relationships. A few of my friends suggested that I might have anxiety but that just stressed me out even more. I do have panic attacks about once a week but they aren’t that bad. I don’t know what to do because I am too worried to tell my parents or my best friend. I don’t know why I’m posting this I just feel like I should. I don’t know if I have anxiety or not but I’m really worried about it. I just need advice of what to do.,1.0703048780487805,3.0035458475609778,3.0135975609756116,91.71295731707322,81.37804878048779,6.5390243902439025,23.054878048780488,7.6454224807358475,0.9478243902439027,605,21,137,10,16,203,84,164,0.208,0.623,0.168,-0.6569,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,11,15,1,4,3,0,18,0,0,1,0,27,30,11,0,3,11,1,4,3,3,2,0,1,0,2,11,4,0,1,7,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,0,5,24,8,16,28,4,10,0,1,0,0,15,5,0,4,6,95,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403169626586188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881334384281444,0.13891372275604166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988870053689134,0.0,0.0,0.1026693626047935,0.07495739098637658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904257720895387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555945265177829,0.0,0.0,0.1263173571882551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713677476837105,0.2436486399023065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486961035351388,0.17569025737161587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850038194201002,0.0,0.06424333878489527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092955833951711,0.0,0.0,0.20273252466899727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18022122330798854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756467189110536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044481161948654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117585613262208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309520841686274,0.0,0.0935192611039024,0.0,0.1442711399716356,0.13653638347458005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736696048564748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23553003111436016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575470971430727,0.0,0.0,0.1320167507120544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891372275604166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534577414893594,0.0,0.0,0.12161401758784808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085424127642235,0.0,0.14076375623798962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976667614095056,0.10747549401953448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542689182746995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863387988143174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095540738142123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497507484131528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spregasaur,2019/01/18,"Self Harm Relapse I've been struggling all morning to figure out how to feel/whether to post somewhere/tell my partner/all the things. Last night, my fiance and I were at a friends just playing games and drinking. I definitely over-indulged, which I could have predicted given my anxiety/mental state this week. When I got home, I downed two more beers and then I was filling up the water filter and self-harmed in the kitchen. I don't know what it was. I felt like I was doing everything to drive myself off the tracks, and I feel like I'm in that super self destructive place. This place has come on out of nowhere, seemingly, because I felt like I was doing well and coping well on the days I was struggling. Apparently not. 

​

Anyway. I just needed to say it and get it out. I feel so ashamed and scared but don't want to tell my fiance. I know I need to for many reasons, but I'm so afraid to. She knows I struggle, and is very supportive, but I'm still so afraid to scare her.",3.737580372250424,5.1672918274111685,4.08732994923858,89.1503519458545,72.3502538071066,6.877698815566838,26.83891708967851,7.3011,1.2118578003384095,778,27,161,8,15,243,117,197,0.117,0.78,0.103,-0.6972,1,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,1,11,19,1,8,6,0,15,4,0,2,1,35,34,18,0,4,6,0,4,3,1,0,0,1,2,2,9,13,4,0,10,4,0,3,3,10,2,1,11,5,25,9,22,22,2,25,0,0,0,0,8,13,0,1,10,105,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13222506688024674,0.14828610149290358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743915132274522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051225021038254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097435161384626,0.0,0.0,0.07870259558144663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954801742554184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967735118887736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18511396173506706,0.08718195719732612,0.2343458215391141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942840775862392,0.0,0.06375834489571333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760268181987876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241123599144985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20120203080827012,0.09947495977128602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17886067459339056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372451865551053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809750797955864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452174983120895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550015791199276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687596909750135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547249028937466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704727351608228,0.2443570093995115,0.0,0.0,0.11109624483349208,0.3819279238419827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974574526349244,0.0,0.0,0.3827330014154837,0.0,0.0,0.13848407643360044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666412650934302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107475122296365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921063875774418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069180431383136,0.07197951116940032,0.0,0.09788926059617052,0.0,0.2194485658695306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828610149290358,0.0
mentalhealth,KKeybladeWarrior,2019/01/18,"Sexual interests... First, I am going to preface this by saying; I will probably get a lot of angry people, but i am hoping there is a few who will help. The one thing I want in life, if everything else fails, is a family, even when I was in grade 1, I was thinking about what I would name my kids, and I couldn't wait to spend my life with a girl to make it a reality. Now onto the issue. 

Over the past two years or so (I am young but an adult), I started to develop a sexual desire for younger girls, at first it scared me, but I began to be okay with it as I still had interest in women and thought I couldn't change my mind, and that meant I can still have a family as I knew if it came to I would rather die than hurt my future kids. But the problem comes from the fact that my sexual desire for women is dwindling and if it keeps going, having a family would be just too hard. I am asking for help, what can I do to fix this, if I wasn't always like this, surely there is a way to fix it or at least reverse it a bit, thanks in advance Reddit. ",7.816666666666666,3.9218416888888896,8.634666666666668,77.68400000000003,65.44444444444444,12.133333333333333,31.66666666666667,9.725611199111238,2.4839333333333333,800,15,187,12,9,276,125,225,0.116,0.741,0.14400000000000002,0.7682,0,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,0,4,12,11,0,1,16,1,26,2,0,1,2,42,44,18,1,15,12,0,1,1,0,5,2,1,0,7,16,8,0,2,4,0,1,5,3,4,0,4,9,2,25,7,28,26,4,26,0,2,0,0,13,8,0,8,13,143,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633220447529727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070244848111912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263510837335084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990413583366445,0.0,0.0,0.14789927796981914,0.12043298763537832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509956499412846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679239588089985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234245973625854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565122419332567,0.0,0.3953981641204575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378427574647349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730443797360699,0.0,0.15891323928588225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524131293729954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742191695625052,0.0,0.0,0.13886178345817826,0.0,0.0,0.14966831881207707,0.0,0.0,0.14592416787892326,0.0,0.12426857395632768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975023211114904,0.06830356641272453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886052698029588,0.0,0.0,0.09332352623776212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116713374162593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473812877441776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346341454778654,0.0969258875260158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073764045506405,0.13377823548613793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111816486242502,0.1399730985406144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895745885749843,0.0,0.22330313592735931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176823347329147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871725100033002,0.0,0.0,0.09288282067271343,0.08958389774376133,0.0,0.11099264962051866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657298005842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246291141456301,0.1109737970775876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29794869327351753,0.0,0.0,0.09003234764417342
mentalhealth,crimsonfart1,2019/01/18,"Mainly vitamin question I have no idea where to put this question..

A few months ago I started taking B6 and I started to feel it was easier to go up from bed in the morning with more energy and more willpower. 

Now I’m very tired and barely want to get up from bed.. sleep 6 hours, 8H.. 10H.. Equally tired no matter what. 

Is there a chance I’m deficient in B vitamins because of some disease? Maybe I’ve been deficient for years? I’m just asking for your experience on this. I’m gonna try to get a blood test on it. 

",0.6798286604361365,2.9166996542056083,2.8856308411214973,90.25561137071651,85.16822429906544,6.183489096573209,22.00077881619938,7.492282038375204,0.9505395638629288,401,14,86,7,12,136,74,107,0.102,0.7859999999999999,0.112,-0.3911,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,4,6,2,0,0,12,18,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,17,15,6,16,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,3,7,49,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609926736637824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571940101669465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211007170799691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943266771406568,0.0,0.0,0.10044798810624736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075823155551452,0.0,0.11290252002455832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19563915403368806,0.0,0.0,0.22426189415516076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957972405108676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158567763743061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19970722198701504,0.4450872175385546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19880252589875785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812238056550821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14936688721664307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4566587235065432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487645917895127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391452704017706,0.11717425872261103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127929919224261
mentalhealth,Rentaaaan,2019/01/18,"I have thoughts like ‘I want to die’ But.. I don’t want to die. I’m not depressed. There are very occasional times when I think dying wouldn’t be so bad, but that’s about as far as it gets. (Excluding these random thoughts) 

They happen pretty frequently, 3-5 times a day usually. They only started a few weeks ago. They’re also really fleeting.. they don’t really last long enough to process properly until it’s already gone, at which point I’m like what?? the fuck?? 

I’d usually just ignore it but honestly I find them kinda scary. I used to spend an unhealthy amount of time worrying about my death and if I’d be young and if it’d hurt and all that stuff.. after finally having overcome all that worry, it’s frankly scary to suddenly be thinking that I WANT to die..

Anyway, I guess I’m here to see if other people have this too? If it’s normal?? 

Thank you.",1.1360404624277436,3.5503784855491363,2.857488439306361,89.98241763005781,84.9537572254335,6.2345664739884405,20.788728323699427,7.554174236665415,0.8794302890173413,670,21,138,12,20,221,110,173,0.222,0.659,0.119,-0.9779,0,0,0,0,0,3,30.0,0,1,4,0,10,9,1,0,4,0,11,1,0,1,2,29,30,16,5,9,9,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,16,3,0,1,5,0,1,1,4,5,0,0,3,1,13,4,15,22,5,22,0,2,1,1,5,3,1,7,20,81,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276748857547028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038375415150248,0.1017329476444988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621833221298108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204247182075465,0.0,0.10956918634702394,0.0,0.5281119709608365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144601392770966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935666102979588,0.11627124309987685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760724432260546,0.06646403686942247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014050510906284,0.0,0.11249487341139117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618516161891894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369634601772083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243006175908867,0.0,0.0,0.1125803401155086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246426582140269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675193935394164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819413328455518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025829932079354,0.0,0.0,0.1294223185798687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299302419894826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013730455028196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004268662112143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562953391643824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712151088322653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302712143115755,0.0,0.2019873283411622,0.22253842698452056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987200545187137,0.28021638046148833,0.10496482939307153,0.22510224624075886,0.0,0.10204335504671816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25838387706276034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WebMDIsNotYourDoctor,2019/01/18,"Going back to school after a LOA I have bipolar type II and I'm currently doing clinical rotations. I took a leave of absence in the middle of my internal medicine rotation, but I came back for the next rotation. Next week I'll go back to re-do my internal medicine rotation and for the past few days I have an increasing feeling of dread when I think about it.

I feel like I'm in a much better place now since I finally have a combination of therapy and medications that work for me, but I'm scared that I'll have another panic attack or mental breakdown that'll force me to take another leave. This rotation has a reputation of breaking people down because it's a lot of work, even all our doctors and professors know it. I thought I would be fine when I started this rotation last year since I was slowly titrating my med to get to the right dosage and regularly seeing my doctor. I was constantly hypomanic and irritable, and then I had a panic attack during a shift in the ER, so I immediately asked for a LOA until I got my mental health sorted. As the rest of the rotation finished up, I kept talking to my friends and they always talked about the stress and how some people changed because of it.

I could really use some advice here. I feel like I'm getting worried about nothing. On one hand, I've seen how it stressed out people even without mental illness and I'm hesitant about confronting a trigger (or however you may call it). On the other, my doctor and academic advisor have assured me that I can get through this and people similar to me have as well.

Thanks for reading and please let me know if I said anything wrong or offensive. ",7.9254556074766365,6.848315274143308,8.445589953271028,70.24539427570095,62.92523364485982,12.01253894080997,38.754088785046726,11.20814326018867,4.37767429906542,1317,60,241,32,16,441,174,321,0.16699999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.099,-0.9754,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,1,3,17,19,4,6,20,0,18,9,1,4,2,43,47,28,0,3,7,0,4,2,1,3,8,1,0,0,14,15,0,1,7,1,0,5,1,11,2,1,10,7,35,8,38,31,8,38,0,0,2,0,9,11,0,9,23,165,49,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833642792224301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521884472492707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895815471524682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439031353836092,0.0,0.08451045195792467,0.20568282780217068,0.0,0.20853274113488987,0.0,0.11021224790550536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995018135712105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230703830828654,0.10339187173832086,0.0,0.0,0.09562969149186,0.0,0.0,0.0976887301472252,0.0,0.07217589544389419,0.0,0.0,0.05829959358743238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775802741848789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941479441136865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712468638147485,0.12916150058865986,0.0,0.0990272053173732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984170425936354,0.0,0.14168855173451345,0.0,0.10275117130715243,0.0,0.07229998758114423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608944349280968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936137038792003,0.07368689283939323,0.0,0.1914380479057012,0.0,0.0924386536751621,0.0,0.08832834174045838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685362418067453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041242276826688,0.09106704015392406,0.27330146363117525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645334398753196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227979110022025,0.0,0.0,0.08673985768257801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125640470714432,0.0,0.0,0.21212646858338036,0.0,0.0,0.08629565562354892,0.2506839208120833,0.0,0.0944472562627267,0.09923047418903966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042302448929987,0.0,0.057911633191318264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719987746762066,0.08598973291063461,0.0,0.09050473007265243,0.09148817023987804,0.07203594945855339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495572482112361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398456700574369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20710249321404967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796846789901158,0.1453178787606299,0.0,0.08322684986571555,0.10337863322191417,0.0,0.0,0.0579237479822073,0.0,0.07176636009839264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043612785957808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807533247504897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251227316162807,0.0,0.0812791630887109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714098726580766,0.0,0.1316224586158751,0.0918041271063538,0.0,0.06421654432499131,0.09883663583752976,0.0,0.05821370967921244
mentalhealth,tonksthedeer,2019/01/18,"My boyfriend broke up with me and even though I try not to think about him, I have pent up anxiety that causes nausea and insomnia. What do I do? I tried meditating but I just feel like breaking down. I’ve been surrounding myself with friends and family and it helps temporarily. As soon as it’s night time and I’m in bed, I feel like my heart is going to explode. What can I do to help my mind and my body?",0.9131633986928094,3.0639853882352948,2.669803921568626,92.74300653594773,83.35294117647058,6.601307189542485,20.03267973856209,7.793537801064563,0.634934640522876,318,9,73,6,9,105,58,85,0.036000000000000004,0.762,0.201,0.9494,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,7,3,2,1,0,16,12,10,0,0,3,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,5,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,14,3,12,11,0,10,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,5,50,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132567142474226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26328452895137844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24349291434980616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655467236848122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22344878046269406,0.0,0.23969682546066798,0.3386655147204098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18312714403400696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470840056931413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28087916665029466,0.3177495692400033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23159968863476466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393305791857745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22243459885560996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518778880357159,0.23287867836740275,0.0,0.13821285685675194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32185272900014683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helpwithmetals,2019/01/18,"How would I know if I have BPD? Or another mental health issue? I've been reading into mental health a lot lately since finding out I have ADHD at 27 and I can kind of relate to some symptoms of some disorders such as BPD and NPD which kinda worries me.


I also know for fact I suffer with Health anxiety, so I'm also wondering if I'm just finding these links due to the health anxiety?

The reason I'm worrying about BPD is because it mentions black and white thinking and also not fully knowing who you are, directionless and flipping between really liking people to then being really annoying to you and that does happen but not in an extreme way, for example some times some things my girlfriend does really annoys me about her but other times I love her a lot.

This happens with friends too...

I also think the worst case scenario at times, for example I have no reason to believe my partner has cheated on me or will ever cheat but if I can't get a hold of her after work or her phone dies and messages don't go through then my mind will give me an intrusive thought or worry that maybe I'm being cheated on but at the same time I don't act on it as I know the thought is irrational and it's arising from a possible insecurity, this thought doesn't last long and is usually resolved when we next communicate, I've never mentioned this to her.

Does this sound like BPD? 


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mentalhealth,artichobo,2019/01/18,"Recently I’ve been having auditory hallucinations of a woman screaming. As the title says, I’ve recently been hearing a woman and sometimes a baby screaming, it doesn’t happen very often but it has been going on for about 3 weeks now. 

At first I thought it was an actual woman screaming but after asking others if they had also heard it, it was obvious that I was the only one hearing the screams. It never lasts more than a few seconds and it’s always faint but somehow feels loud at the same time, I have tried researching what it might be or what the cause of it might be but I haven’t really found much. 

I have had visual hallucinations such as seeing thing like spiders as well as other insects and once or twice a person (different people not the same. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and major depressive disorder and am currently seeing a psychologist although my anxiety has stopped me from telling them about my visual and auditory hallucinations as well as various other things.

Just wondering if anyone else gets this or if anyone knows if the cause is related to my anxiety or depression.",10.476108401084009,8.51344684390244,10.561626016260163,59.91067750677507,58.609756097560975,13.794037940379406,40.826558265582655,12.45797560212912,5.258712737127371,893,37,143,24,9,300,122,205,0.14300000000000002,0.8170000000000001,0.04,-0.9625,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,10,9,0,0,14,0,23,2,0,2,2,37,37,26,0,4,14,0,1,1,0,2,2,9,0,4,18,7,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,6,2,4,12,12,12,3,19,21,7,15,0,2,2,0,12,3,0,13,12,125,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.12545691091279573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281011974251794,0.10697298264477284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950462513384218,0.0,0.0,0.17978556622655145,0.13172585320157948,0.0,0.0,0.12018710395855195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641349532102152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214586607240007,0.13048662566732022,0.0,0.13431879659926368,0.1473419501177518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739615048094373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650042630057143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093538512453045,0.0,0.14096041096759518,0.0,0.0,0.06716777354171116,0.0,0.07306413243360778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368599528109645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28979499640302464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065371841948431,0.10479430703411796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280837071213594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727656355434899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450706719920668,0.0,0.09915410555415773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691318198302452,0.08711620527517862,0.0977763713783188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912795326896257,0.11225443484356064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823594161138766,0.0,0.25387679380281164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102236802116345,0.0,0.0,0.20489281374660298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715003527741342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748268409352613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236790895564272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082032286132065,0.0,0.0,0.10206300856332808,0.07496490519322048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728442441748359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607622140631247,0.0,0.0,0.10312381381046784,0.0,0.2311834098028621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394188316184939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lovehel,2019/01/18,"Very anxious about Dr appointment? I have the Dr in a few hours that I have been putting off because of anxiety.  I have been seeing a female Dr in the practice and have decided to make an appointment with the male Dr who originally put me on antidepressants years and years ago.  

I have decided to never see the female Dr there again because of how she treated me a month ago.  I went there feeling depressed even though I was on antidepressants.  I asked her also for a note to say I haven't been well the past few months, I needed this note badly.  I have social anxiety and depression,  and I was barely functioning bar one time I got a call from a company I tried doing training but was having severe panic attacks, I just got 2 assignments done for college,  and missed the attendance.  She told me she doesn't believe me,  that because she saw me asking for a fit for work cert when I tried the training 2 months ago,  she won't supply a letter.

  I started crying in front of her and saying you don't understand how difficult life is for me,  she had no sympathy, she hesitantly wrote a letter saying I have a bit of anxiety but am fine,  which was not satisfactory at all, she told me to up my meds,  and gave me a name of an emergency walk in. I have been struggling with mental health for 10 years and she treats me like I am making this up, I was so offended,  I was trying to get back on my feet,  but she refused to help me. 

 I am now going to the other Dr who I haven't had an appointment with in years,  but hopefully he will support what I need,  I am worried she will have written  something down on the system that will make him not want to give me the letter I need to get back into a programme that was vital for me,  or he will say the other Dr has written here you are fine,  or to see the Dr I have been seeing,  how will I handle it without it getting really awkward? I just need a letter,  but it is never that simple.  So much anxiety now.  I was thinking of bringing a family member with me but maybe that would make it worse?  ",7.07412195121951,5.543921948780493,7.745000000000001,76.04750000000001,64.87804878048779,10.834146341463416,33.42682926829269,9.766711354998122,2.9512829268292684,1589,53,320,27,20,533,186,410,0.161,0.765,0.075,-0.9852,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,0,1,21,19,2,3,29,0,47,12,1,8,3,52,85,24,0,7,13,0,1,1,0,7,10,4,0,1,18,13,1,1,5,1,0,8,11,10,1,1,26,10,61,9,45,52,5,48,0,3,5,0,41,16,0,3,24,246,79,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22849090856201995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871086082116375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26291681483356794,0.09706608731770264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064876479624554,0.09774735390916084,0.0,0.132135637295981,0.0717403084283574,0.15712963084363882,0.0,0.0,0.09680335838680526,0.0,0.0,0.09380329867447763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773477920582469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438000287250492,0.0,0.0,0.14800697881451047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879268454276358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056749901272966384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099851661390339,0.0,0.04344415588031654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467027033088824,0.08242309426007499,0.04883079065794061,0.0,0.1374374817623439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132982991715614,0.0,0.0,0.057590924662585086,0.0,0.0,0.08533877616371739,0.0846147151811813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068842684216391,0.04197658002163451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22941129857551584,0.0,0.08631902744587383,0.0,0.0954386783776266,0.0,0.08658799302760334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574357263463092,0.0,0.06316170000778197,0.2548368422370418,0.13253488982682618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058222181541290836,0.0,0.0,0.1008095873616793,0.0,0.0,0.08202115928871999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274834162436056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504308712104892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27331078686067856,0.0,0.0,0.27387112560238075,0.0,0.0,0.09706608731770264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758547116193018,0.0,0.06614605660495274,0.0,0.0,0.06081520934601657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982311230436947,0.0,0.0,0.09750194551181668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055054601828088114,0.08441678428365906,0.0,0.05010112992868066,0.0,0.0,0.16420208007043255,0.0,0.17500382121016542,0.0,0.0,0.08944661954440533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089368735040813,0.05067833469916008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725314947064124,0.07964947498116663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282461898527718,0.0,0.06255139129599249,0.08725677878385965,0.08756067143257455,0.06103569609608407,0.0,0.0,0.22132080322629905
mentalhealth,marcobrioche,2019/01/18,"How to exactly diagnose any mental illness? I couldn’t search anything that specifically answers my question, because google wasn’t cooperating


So my current uneducated impression of commonly portrayed mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety and eating disorders is:

*If you have one, you should be **physically debilitated** or show **externally visible symptoms** to the point that someone else thinks you have one*


Every post I’ve skimmed so far involves seeking help only because their symptoms checked those said criteria

But then I read stories of people who appeared healthy on the outside until they suddenly kill themselves.

When I read about self diagnosing, besides the said visible symptoms, the only other symptoms were having negative thoughts, but I thought everyone else had them too since I considered listed “negative thoughts” as something normal to think about when I’m not doing a set task

So I guess it circles back to: how is one diagnosed with a mental illness? Is anything less than lacking energy to wash yourself and having panic attacks in public that isn’t caused by physical illness just mean that you’re not actually mentally ill?


I would be grateful if people could educate me, including anything that I might have said that could have been offensive, which I would like to apologise in advance and promise that I’ll try to not make the same mistake",6.7135664335664345,9.912148452991458,6.762455322455324,65.52370629370631,68.74358974358975,9.724630924630924,40.55089355089355,10.018931242160765,5.319340170940171,1134,70,151,32,22,361,154,234,0.158,0.7490000000000001,0.093,-0.958,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,3,1,13,9,3,1,7,0,24,14,0,4,1,39,37,19,1,11,9,0,0,1,0,4,13,3,0,1,12,4,1,0,8,3,1,2,8,6,0,3,10,3,18,3,20,18,3,17,0,1,0,0,15,5,0,7,9,112,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.09301385898123143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481758579664862,0.0,0.07291584607352734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353087967658233,0.0,0.0,0.1084347688640109,0.0,0.07329148419815001,0.0,0.1162064889453102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979149379303079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220281875041566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209481840770262,0.2902286811571485,0.0,0.0,0.10923944540447318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753121692657082,0.1592471920961792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030714374107108,0.09107773196589043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500040843649766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388775096925478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545211625374816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046566178728251084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362361777830508,0.0,0.0,0.1038261654529892,0.0,0.0,0.3842211020493644,0.10111433549086564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338863172284398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937640829864963,0.14498296750509065,0.0,0.11183181812776967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215907862433324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901036465990682,0.0,0.09128558770793513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677480710217056,0.0,0.1906819322790068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719996680076067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943451238438326,0.0,0.0,0.07884569565195246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076023634996497,0.07337827646863415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39627583902161373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214822776024828,0.0,0.2270088004711433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471274547536884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354183276364398,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MyFathaWilHearAbtDis,2019/01/18,Do you ever sometimes think you’re not mentally ill? And then when you are back to a low spot you think “nope. Definitely mentally ill.” Lol Which is right.. ,1.4740000000000002,4.165619400000004,2.6750000000000007,89.2425,88.33333333333334,7.0,20.833333333333336,8.07648339933343,1.3183333333333342,122,4,25,3,4,39,24,30,0.125,0.6609999999999999,0.214,0.4777,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,1,5,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,0,6,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588912208933081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045523146847755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6786018272846156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875285255682397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33299166663689234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4314703701361631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,seal-pup9,2019/01/18,"Not hearing voices. But talking to different thoughts in my head? For the last few months I've been working with my therapist on some stuff that involves a ""logical mind"" and an ""emotional mind"" and how to get a ""wise mind"" thought out of the two.
I've been dealing with 3 different ""voices"" in my head for a while now and we were able to put two of those different ""thought processes"" into those categories.
I just, honestly wanted to ask if anyone else has had an issue with your mind going on and on and on with itself. One thought process is more all over the place and emotional, Loki. Another is a bit more logical, Grey. And the other is more obsessive/compulsive, Benny.
These three drive me absolutely nuts because they just kinda ""talk"" to eachother. Like, even now I'm getting thoughts about ""why are u typing this shit out people r gonna think we r crazy"" and ""This is a good way to see if other people go through this.""
And things like that.
My concern about bringing up the whole ""my thoughts converse with eachother on a very, very frequent basis"" is that I'm scared that it will be misinterpreted as hearing voices.
I'm not sure if anyone else goes through this, and like I said i'm not *hearing* things, my thoughts just go on by themselves to the point where I am yelling at them to stop in my head. 
I guess I was just wondering if anyone else struggles with this kind of thing? Because talking to friends about it is hard, as they think I am hearing voices. When it's just three different tones(?) voices(?) In my head arguing almost constantly about what we should be doing next.
-I live in the US-- been struggling with basic functioning because of these three and not being able to agree on ways to do things, maybe I could get a point in the right direction?  Thank you.",5.403160780313655,6.447181530791787,5.279563942368991,83.61760678311872,68.00293255131965,8.511079943899018,31.24837434655107,8.716276077567194,2.38354050745888,1406,56,271,22,23,436,174,341,0.081,0.833,0.087,-0.2469,4,0,0,0,1,0,58.0,4,2,3,1,15,15,2,3,17,0,24,5,5,1,2,65,56,21,0,7,14,0,1,3,1,3,0,11,0,0,25,24,0,1,12,0,0,6,4,5,0,6,14,14,26,10,52,35,8,42,0,0,2,0,23,24,1,9,13,189,51,2,0.13799421879915846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909063845187521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234948517425169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473314946465798,0.21208707684308184,0.0,0.0,0.0645029833634795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617999244590244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532697336967929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456136358876768,0.0,0.05508857750967434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113299013805922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28834917614564604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729146941629373,0.15522492263498294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0455719400311854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053306995567384864,0.0,0.1081444257318259,0.0,0.11763794193237287,0.057871501818684085,0.0,0.0,0.07600809480653152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061807857608589076,0.0,0.28324375964204795,0.0,0.31105902740197977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201505620136478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184987187840647,0.0,0.05624185308217584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112550742206024,0.0,0.0609257116854717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931687023370196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786696465145889,0.0,0.05507283445192348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337920860159244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046754226988381234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566781622280364,0.0,0.07208729403641151,0.0,0.13044914043849845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936115207606759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058923154433439824,0.06563205121806945,0.0,0.06907814315203271,0.0,0.05498176310559664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082454128356365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057684672944093525,0.0,0.14426151924599426,0.07898518284872237,0.0,0.0,0.0650289590618542,0.0,0.0,0.16637178891398793,0.0,0.06352326828113307,0.0,0.08011096196465388,0.18335445452563373,0.0884211234441598,0.0,0.3834319846795013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348003004225534,0.0,0.08299502721768409,0.0,0.0,0.11385968243301332,0.04069628277733468,0.10953338778059428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06225915941926843,0.07703280861580132,0.0,0.0,0.074824421924209,0.050230717394500565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tooktoofarnow,2019/01/18,"Did anyone else leave nearly everything behind? I lived in a small town, my parents, friends and most people I had to associate with where extremely toxic, I could cut them off but still see them and they would still go out there way to essentially bully me.

I had to cut off everything and move town, now at 26 I feel I'm finally getting somewhere, I guess I just want to know I'm not alone in taking nothing to do with the town and people I was born and raised with and only really finally coming out of depression after leaving? 

Surely it doesn't have to be this drastic but it seems to have worked for me.",2.8710743801652896,4.9802534628099195,4.108264462809917,85.20057851239672,76.35537190082644,7.375206611570247,23.396694214876035,8.296473431620573,1.4709768595041326,483,15,94,9,11,158,82,121,0.124,0.8,0.076,-0.7951,1,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,1,6,5,2,0,2,0,11,0,0,0,1,25,23,8,0,3,4,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,12,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,4,2,14,2,22,16,1,24,0,1,1,0,5,13,0,3,7,68,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17415750861300247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757764377222785,0.172294314481412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448503448733198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425780824177186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483135697372648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047163616955713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022531204367705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502404547571883,0.0,0.0,0.3684104079471642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299158684497542,0.0,0.08785386631660158,0.0,0.09556616491649042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18524130915461806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241340013959992,0.0,0.0,0.3561029976535894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848364009807766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872178534022978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613489255387036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788919160255924,0.0,0.0,0.18671584335445987,0.0,0.0,0.23315452868781414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772417711134306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399748807326498,0.1530816814307591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685770475801931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584837712383339,0.0,0.12643137260092682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918197158590274,0.13347333728245325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241859072533087,0.0,0.0,0.11945224151234662,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,drippindior,2019/01/18,"I feel like i’m not putting in any effort in my relationship due to my mental health as the title says I (18F) have a boyfriend(19M) and we’ve been together for 3 months. lately i’ve been feeling like not talking/texting anyone and i’m not sure why. I’ll feel down at many times, isolate myself, and even cry for no reason. I used to cut when i was 13 and i never told anyone this because i hate sympathy and the fake “i’m here if u need to talk” line.   I feel bad whenever my boyfriend texts me because instead of getting all happy i get annoyed! i swear i do like him a lot (idk about love it’s too early to say that) but it’s just these past 2 weeks felt so off and I wish this lonely feeling would go away. I feel like a shitty girlfriend when i reply back 1 hour late and it’s half assed or you can tell i’m replying just cause. Ive felt this last year and would cry all the time and prayed this shitty feeling would never came back but it looks like it has. I’m not sure if i should even tell him about this as none of my friends/family know i’ve been going through this since sophomore year. I just hope when I tell him he’ll understand and not get defensive as he does sometimes... thank you. ",1.7548926270579803,3.3734476889763805,2.942648532569794,94.52896206156048,78.01574803149607,5.878024337866857,21.781675017895488,6.574015621080383,0.2245732283464568,939,26,215,8,22,302,146,254,0.152,0.715,0.133,-0.6116,0,2,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,1,16,18,4,0,6,0,13,3,1,3,6,53,45,22,0,9,13,0,9,5,1,5,1,2,0,0,13,11,0,1,12,0,0,4,9,7,0,1,8,12,28,11,20,32,4,30,1,1,1,2,17,6,1,5,25,121,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675340163704066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138879333243089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093304752805244,0.15272609224224395,0.08291946962024906,0.12107656942671607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135838654467514,0.0,0.10201844051764516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21817413257320947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690660687487342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311862694110141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362036747247897,0.0,0.3514978552266628,0.21284065551439307,0.1907058137444284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565569251217248,0.0,0.1128800071033248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571704562392,0.0,0.0980477902252822,0.0,0.10556159045233056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863696173822847,0.09780007165565284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054578025985012636,0.08095067804403361,0.2240513838701648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24258856897317435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339515460703686,0.0,0.0,0.08442957421378726,0.08963090132905817,0.0,0.0,0.10068447073377268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008084178367793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792680725540124,0.0,0.0,0.07363690044313352,0.15318755956553107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480236668693046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983370004308152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210693412846393,0.0,0.10662147569932512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15795015371736465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215002819760019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982198543063828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18719647522507085,0.0,0.0,0.07982139268128302,0.260403222592656,0.09143104924756572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158165949400702,0.0,0.0,0.09489469510421007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338492284784444,0.0,0.08577171405699098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966026864156088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896115773795265,0.0,0.11420127910573905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116403313171208,0.0,0.0,0.12790440981849854
mentalhealth,molalala2,2019/01/18,"To visit a Psychiatrists.. Or not to.?  I have been doing alot of self observing & research for a very long time, and I guess I suffer from mental problems. I’ve been having alot of symptoms for a very long time (7-9years) but i never really thought there was something wrong with me. But over the years I started realizing as my life is literally getting ruined. My moods pretty much control me in a way that sometimes I myself loose track of who am I. I do suffer from excessive mood swings that completely change my behavior from happy, talkative, social and productive to a complete depressed person who doesn’t wanna interact with people, not even by eye, and I would lock myself in the room for days full of negative thoughts while my friends are literally chilling in the living room. This has caused me so many social problems especially with my roommates who I argue with daily when im feeling down. I’d be so irritated and I’d go off on the person who just tries to start a conversation which really made me lose so many relationships but guess what, I dont care and im still the king of this world and no one is better than me, which changes sometimes to im a complete loser, embarrassment and shitty and why am i like this. This has confused me alot and I finally started realizing it. I dont blame any of them who went off on me once saying im very moody and they dont wanna interact with me anymore, and im like “good for you”. I literally can’t remember the last time I laughed hard as my ups are mostly talkings and producing tasks. When it comes to school, I have never maintained a steady sleep pattern for over 7 years now. I find it Impossible to sleep even when im exhausted and I cant get of bed even when i wake up. And sometimes its the exact opposite, I sleep little and late but I wake up early and very active. The smartest kid is now one year late on graduation because he can’t make it to class, who would believe it? And when friends and family tell me just wake up and go to school im like I don’t care! I have literally been empty with no feelings for years and one could really see it on my face and my voice tone as it never changes not even for a surprise or happy or whatever which so many have realized it and expressed their disgust, but I guess I still don’t care! again, this is me. But I’ve come along way to realize that I don’t really have a hand on this and I gotta do something because my social and academic life is literally getting ruined. I’m the kid who had the brightest future and people pointed at as the smart one, I used to do sports, I became a designer at the age of 10 and I had several hobbies and now I can’t think of one thing that would excite me and enjoy doing it. I have became afraid of socializing and I’m spending 5 years in college without making one single friend, not even a classmate. I’d go to school for days without saying a word. Everytime I socialize its like a blank mood when i don’t really recognize whats being said and what im saying. When I think of past conversations im like why did i say that? Why did they say that? And i say so many things that confuses the other person and sometimes I say irrelevant things and they would correct me but i insist im right. I have also lost lots of people for not turning their phone calls although I was doing nothing, there are people who invited me and wanted to hung out so many times but I never went. I literally detached myself. Its so stupid. This is so stupid. One last thing to mention is that I have IBD for ten years now, which is a chronic inflammatory bowl disease and I have a feeling that it could be what triggers my mental health. 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mentalhealth,midnightembo,2019/01/18,"I'm sick of my thoughts holding me back I've always been an anxious person but this past year it has really been noticeable. I'm 19, female, in my final year of uni and have only had a job once. As a kid i would get nervous about doing speeches and going to swimming training. Now I just keep having these ridiculous thoughts that prevent me from bettering myself and living a normal life. I'm under the impression every one I know hates me and are being nice to me just for the sake of it. I also believe I am a burden to my parents for not having a job rather I'm more like an expense for them. I am also too afraid to drive because of the potential for me to accidentally screw up and my dad get angry at me. Also because I'm afraid of getting in a car accident. I am overweight and have a disorder called trichotillomania (where I pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows) and a condition called Policystic Ovarian Syndrome (that affects my periods and comes with symptoms like anxiety, female baldness, difficulty losing weight, infertility). Because of these two conditions I consider myself very ugly. My friends and family reassure me that I am not ugly but I know I am, they are being nice and caring. I am quite awkward as a person and get anxious in social situations because I believe people do not care about me or what I have to say. Because of being ugly and being so terrible situations I have convinced myself i am going to die alone. Over the past year on dozens of occasions I have cried myself to sleep because of these thoughts that are being blown out of proportion in my mind. I would like to disclose I am not suicidal, in fact I'm quite afraid of dying ad recently a girl in my year tragically passed away in a car accident. Since then I have realised my own mortality and the concept of death is terrifying because it is so permanent. I know all of this must sound so nothing like I should just get over it because I believe that too. But these stupid thoughts are really consuming me and preventing me from living a normal, independent life. Every now and then each of my parents have said really awful stuff to me and that has really hit me hard. Like with my trichotillomania they have told me I don't look normal and have even mentioned the word ""freak"" a couple of times. It's honestly bad enough having that condition but when the ones close to you are reinforcing these negative thoughts you desperately want to get rid of it's just so disheartening. Fortunately they have stopped mentioning my trichotillomania to me but I know they judge me for still doing it. All I want is to just be independent. Be able to earn my own money from a job I'm confident in and drive to places comfortably. It's embarrassing being my age and unable to do these things and I'm tired of it. Physically there is nothing holding me back, I have all these opportunities and I waste them. It's all just in my head (this must sound so lame and cringey).

It feels kind of nice venting and I'm sorry if I sound super whiny. Have you guys felt anything similar to this or know any ways to stop having these thoughts?",5.127485027611417,6.544841650501675,6.211647351637242,75.29801392237692,68.94983277591972,9.308610095667733,30.79660885120946,9.648456367147027,2.9976378159757333,2489,101,449,56,43,830,252,598,0.223,0.6679999999999999,0.108,-0.9979,5,1,0,0,1,0,46.0,0,3,6,7,28,38,4,6,23,1,56,11,3,3,7,90,97,45,5,12,19,3,4,5,1,5,6,6,0,5,33,31,2,7,13,1,2,10,6,18,0,4,12,11,75,20,69,71,9,53,0,4,1,1,27,21,1,3,26,334,108,4,0.06631228900765905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867953267194392,0.0,0.1590897406843644,0.055177136621087815,0.0,0.0,0.04509463047049104,0.0,0.0507287195861425,0.14982802307203616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456936368010242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230257838976589,0.10198011406713932,0.055367991455233016,0.3233868471252389,0.0,0.0,0.2241337249902264,0.0,0.058647830816267475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354245224704028,0.0,0.13521959625139587,0.0,0.0,0.057122165288753926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337328650707994,0.07284093568970693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764337325940587,0.0,0.07599962823007213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851832093711245,0.0,0.04379864148346629,0.0,0.11174192702905182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251332443383302,0.0,0.03352948578362076,0.0,0.0636701966029354,0.07264187128881103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05123270999257226,0.0,0.20787260440623306,0.0,0.075373604020705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656595917208087,0.0,0.0,0.059402785889896885,0.0654696567194661,0.06805553961770006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19741414405815272,0.058941409335641536,0.0,0.06905404459151471,0.18221749911215784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367666162695927,0.1619841742302208,0.0,0.11710993218243275,0.0,0.055685621589681183,0.07418648937295577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695650838906846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194915891386262,0.12725685951034688,0.07549698055011206,0.0,0.07062042359416576,0.08986984641423648,0.05043348393651,0.0,0.0,0.14726389882537388,0.0,0.12660516649942527,0.04597259170205798,0.11580266595452927,0.06928222816174627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106256380128204,0.0,0.0,0.16992540144604246,0.0,0.06547538542090924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307817220766995,0.052734193799282035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05485421071942232,0.14907558244120833,0.06636017894972376,0.06759702773983939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423117847701037,0.0,0.0,0.05295707966059225,0.11088008575629828,0.0,0.0,0.07591170583762474,0.07253488125435177,0.0,0.0,0.06892385880093757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04405493826173118,0.0,0.0,0.3158673019051239,0.03866722898966808,0.07621622128251837,0.0,0.06336423389753304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477747080803167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471458321603472,0.0782254122977648,0.05263560843129359,0.0,0.08075050337665819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421269503704473,0.0,0.0,0.1708117599485432
mentalhealth,TheUnderTaken,2019/01/18,"Can someone who good at advice/open mind pm me I was wanting advice on a talk I want to have with my self center mother about moving in with my uncle to get away from my abusive sister, and was wonder if someone could give me tip/advice to help her understand and let me. I’d still be home a lot it’s only 20 min away",1.3169565217391297,2.8449817826086985,3.431231884057972,90.9451086956522,79.0,5.179710144927537,18.746376811594203,5.46131890053228,-0.2910405797101454,249,5,54,1,6,85,53,69,0.062,0.8370000000000001,0.101,0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,12,13,3,0,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,9,1,12,8,1,9,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,3,2,37,11,0,0.0,0.2317642749082784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822930356309749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675615485980293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617759749645954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219745094745997,0.18764564989478305,0.0,0.1640672626910148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111236096346032,0.0,0.19621143406586825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000231068558969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662994869632608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975089839640216,0.0,0.0,0.2079010481420226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876919973461716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406249213939107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314771642190581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562133278618361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572228306870068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036355126676128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307501104048111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21212924672328246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Colour_kitten,2019/01/18,"I don’t people realize the importance of the words ‘I’m here for you’ It’s hard to relate to and/or comfort someone with mental illness, especially when they feel terrible for no reason. To me when someone says I’m here for you it’s the most effective thing because instead of preaching to me, trying  to relate to me or comforting me they simply reassure me that there really is someone on my side. ",5.905194805194807,6.790050168831173,7.119896103896108,71.44555844155846,66.79220779220779,10.315844155844157,34.88051948051948,10.355215969177356,3.943646233766234,321,15,54,8,5,109,51,77,0.111,0.73,0.159,0.624,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,2,1,6,4,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,2,0,8,5,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,11,3,13,5,1,4,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318612628035152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14365066014669578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544998591002857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28630829871477026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196960764303794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18200320943589146,0.29210448349835305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259295534818853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7221568752938661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887449454149133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928868140077779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MaggiesFarm5,2019/01/18,"I've had sczophrenia for 5 years now. And the saddest part, is I don't remember what the world was like that before it all.",2.641923076923078,3.8596185769230758,4.003076923076924,89.51692307692308,74.76923076923076,8.276923076923078,24.538461538461537,8.841846274778883,1.5166769230769228,97,3,22,2,2,32,24,26,0.151,0.755,0.094,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4346115888316184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495272006704548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5530936961105742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.578581459716165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32890697890783377
mentalhealth,cocostella,2019/01/18,"All people life, people I meet will admit that im either 'a bit special', 'simple' or a bit different... Yet I don't qualify as having an actual mental health problem. I just want to be normal as I can't figure out where I fit in life. I don't have ADD, Autism, Asperger's or any other problem. However I have been told by the doctors that I show signs of depression. 

Having had counselling, I have discussed these issues and they agree I have no mental health issues to name. 

But whenever I met people, or my friends... They will tell me that I am a bit ""special"", ""different"", ""simple"". They won't say I'm stupid though, because I have a degree, a career, I am out travelling on my own... 

The signs of me being different come apparent in my conversation, my poor attention; focus or listening and general knowledge skills. I've never held an interest or hobby, and don't involve my self with even topical interest. 

Where I am simple I guess, is that I can only uphold a small short of basic conversation that feeds just precise information I'm looking for. 

I've researched how to improve, and I try to improve. But I revert to how I am. 

The fact that doctors can't give the way I am a mental health name... Means that I feel I don't have a category or a known purpose of who I am or what is me. 

This in result I think is what is making me depressed. I feel selfish, and that is what depression does I guess? Or is that me and these faults I have? Where do I belong and will I ever have interests and hobbies. 

Cos even when I try to pick up a hobby, me attention in it drops. That's with everything. 

I feel like I have to excuse myself to people with a ""ha yeah sorry I am a bit stupid or simple"" which then puts them off even more... 

And when I try to just be me, I find that intelligent people or genuine people can sometimes avoid me cos I don't have anything interesting to give back and then sleezy men try to slip in thinking I'm an easy shot. Which I'm not. And I don't want to be used or naive. I've learn over time. But have in the past had my drink spiked and was raped. And another time took a guy finding me interesting as to think he was genuine, but then he raped me too. 

I've grown to be so angry at men on nights out and have fuck all trust in people. This means I can trust when people find me genuinely interesting or if they have other intentions. I have had counselling about this too. 

I have had a path of being suicidal years ago and no longer feel that way. But I just want to be normal. I have no idea how to embrace myself and enjoy like with a smile and laughter. 

I am out travelling at the moment, which thankfully has brought back my confidence a bit and independence. I'm 26 and have confidence that I am a good graphic designer, sure. But I want to know myself more. 

Why is being an in-between having a mental health problem and being normal feel this difficult to understand or help. 
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mentalhealth,everythinghurts25,2019/01/18,"My depression has felt so different in the last few weeks, and I don't know why. Hi, all. New to the sub.

I've had depression & anxiety since I was 11 - the depression comes in waves. I haven't self-harmed since I was in high school, that's also the last time I was in any therapy or on any meds. I had major jaw surgery during my senior year and the last antidepressant I was prescribed was Prozac and due to the surgery it was liquid so that was kind of my final straw with antidepressants as nothing I'd tried was ever an improvement. I'd say I always kind of have a lingering depression weighing on me, but it's been manageable for some time.

As far as anxiety, that's been very persistent over the last 10 years. I imagine that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Maybe if I pursue something different career-wise, it'll calm down a bit but I don't think so.

But the depression has been different in the last few weeks. I feel absolutely nothing. Whereas before my depressive episodes consisted of crying and sadness, I'm just feeling numb and nothing. I have no desire to do anything. I just graduated with my BS last month and I'm pursuing a BA to be finished next year. I'm really happy with school but I have yet to find a related job in my field. In fact, I keep using my PTO so I don't have to go to work because being there is just creating more anxiety. I get panic attacks at work so I just go home and I sit in my bed and I feel nothing. I just don't care what happens to me and I don't know how it got like this. In addition, while I haven't acted upon it, I think about self-harming quite often and while I don't necessarily think about suicide, I just kind of think about dying - in the sense like, if something happened to me, I wouldn't care. When I think about those things, I also think about just driving as far away as I can or I think about getting drunk or high, which just kind of exacerbates my feelings. 

I'm just not even sure what to do with myself anymore. I'm trying to get a different job but I just don't think that's going to be the fix-all. I don't even really know how to explain how I feel, it's just nothing.",2.465457520300572,4.051165802690584,4.0859689734577636,87.23780329657015,75.95067264573991,7.601890679917584,25.058538358986787,8.358175599149588,1.5032853714701244,1692,58,364,31,37,566,194,446,0.132,0.8,0.067,-0.9823,6,0,2,0,0,1,48.0,0,0,0,4,34,21,1,1,18,0,39,6,1,4,4,72,76,38,2,4,22,0,6,2,0,3,3,1,2,0,17,17,2,1,20,1,0,6,13,10,0,0,15,7,50,11,54,55,8,54,0,7,0,0,3,21,0,7,27,235,67,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361719669496,0.05390636939004554,0.07019459800512763,0.0,0.0881121405173043,0.0,0.14868120733449852,0.0,0.06424938275315961,0.0,0.0,0.05331259387597671,0.0,0.0,0.07370237161471968,0.06086770735666305,0.0,0.0,0.03949237833037727,0.0,0.05512732428046181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072851899415927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321053963774327,0.0,0.0,0.055806602715914894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116335907335239,0.0,0.0,0.33479572340024194,0.0,0.06723667607080668,0.2707464440643082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557985757048366,0.058601806272073474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378639385750235,0.0,0.06220382838610215,0.07096887926189002,0.05921238175633914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154257800784997,0.0,0.11045654747820736,0.0,0.051814539982602006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457844970909052,0.06896491338527086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689797017251729,0.06498470906059563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857837411291462,0.057583948326935336,0.0,0.26985473067873605,0.10681254321612844,0.3168508805843443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045759611988992116,0.06330142712087425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508531212158719,0.0,0.07196160979193851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05171082606065476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256982584677018,0.0688996586107785,0.0,0.0,0.3108151172871901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601132279204037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890689819225401,0.0,0.0,0.08300595155930324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051519689213881927,0.0,0.13113190232595714,0.0,0.0,0.13516991754320198,0.0,0.0,0.10718176138594553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974942645050187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905226639109065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708643532811705,0.0,0.06105916327746839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740873754426563,0.0,0.04304032287324069,0.3320932637669196,0.0,0.0,0.07555339246835427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796962201700928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055953501121187146,0.0,0.05345446890657817,0.0,0.0,0.1039333533147773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05845845044025914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943286074137484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251583861334905
mentalhealth,SRT8Cookie,2019/01/18,"Can’t go out in public settings anymore. I used to love going out to public settings, I would love talking to people and making new friends and I had no problem with public speaking. Fast forward a couple years, and now things have changed, I can’t even go to school anymore, I’ll sit in the parking lot for half an hour to a full hour in the car trying to muster up the courage to go inside but I can’t do it, I end up having to leave and it’s been affecting my chances of graduating severally. I can’t even go to the store because it feels like everyone’s staring at me and judging me. When I do go to class it’s hard to focus, my face gets red, my mouth dries up, I feel extremely hot and it gets very hard to breath. I have to leave immediately when that happens. It’s gotten to the point where anytime I want to go grocery shopping I a grown man, have to go get my mom or a friend to come with me to keep me calm enough to get what I need and get out. I can’t do anything I enjoy anymore because of everything I just listed and it all happens anytime I go anywhere that has a decent size group of people. ",2.5614102564102548,3.7591083034188015,4.103931623931627,88.79384615384619,74.94017094017093,6.396581196581197,27.102564102564106,6.691623216298621,1.0653948717948718,869,33,189,7,18,290,122,234,0.041,0.8340000000000001,0.125,0.9664,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,11,0,16,5,3,3,1,29,43,12,0,4,3,1,5,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,11,14,0,1,2,1,2,13,6,1,0,1,3,8,25,8,35,39,4,38,0,0,2,2,12,14,0,2,11,121,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142917507972715,0.0,0.0,0.08693058076110784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879115924779946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111750364045799,0.0909972678441548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688577579542787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356338312013628,0.10915167467879078,0.0,0.1395450151489884,0.0,0.0,0.10094106437608516,0.09494008516572897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682688876045147,0.0754673809269427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632303891146037,0.0,0.2759559119913727,0.0,0.5403255285318754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682961101254705,0.0,0.1892607253589579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20806312340511468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389537643250537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22370951126094776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160909855020375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980914134979141,0.1906837589015364,0.0,0.07051378596476826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372124820713792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832879488071559,0.0,0.10202526089116233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647134678649004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986148969193484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108072684459787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691069029602232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934019550139935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490734206355756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018079578383411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172086157600838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123679780799232,0.0,0.08716191969828986,0.06230767653060746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504177932741535,0.0,0.0,0.06802702327720239
mentalhealth,georgiaudall,2019/01/18,"Anxiety or something more? I have realized that in the past few days, I have felt very odd and disattached from the world. I have been very spacey (forgetting to take my pill, not turning in assignments, etc) and I get these weird moments where the world doesn't feel real... It sounds strange, but that's the best way I can describe it. I have also been a lot more down than usual. Today while stuck in traffic I found myself breathing very quickly and unable to calm down for several minutes. it was hard to think straight, and it was a little scary. This has never happened before. 

​

I know I have been stressed- there's a lot going on. I have a job interview tomorrow, I am trying to solve a conflict at school, and I am traveling a lot in the next week, which I feel unprepared for. This is all very unlike me- I have never had serious mental health issues, and I am very organized, cheerful, etc. 

​

I guess I just want to know- is this what bad stress feels like, and I've just never felt it? Should I be worried? ",2.9793078947368414,5.289998715000003,3.5012631578947366,88.70878947368423,76.85,6.610526315789473,25.02631578947368,7.669130373188453,1.3433500000000005,813,29,158,12,19,254,123,200,0.152,0.73,0.118,-0.6365,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,1,6,9,0,2,11,0,23,3,1,0,4,35,40,11,0,2,5,0,6,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,13,7,0,1,10,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,10,7,21,4,17,28,10,29,0,0,0,0,1,13,0,5,14,115,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837601307054137,0.0,0.22697038295804214,0.2545398844356904,0.0,0.0,0.08012542162886017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745309750150987,0.0,0.0,0.08912558985290141,0.0,0.10991763073411608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754830487282384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336244314874321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887829659387095,0.07482591114901853,0.20113266763374876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148414424232188,0.0,0.0,0.05472205951257818,0.0,0.05952586474797896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538235445685074,0.0,0.09262078332335257,0.0,0.09382600830826188,0.0,0.0,0.11133317789562568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932081328976903,0.10393778026337164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512416685168166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117042323672077,0.10497648301820507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671373015123414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055527689048776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24234465037083236,0.0,0.1113916337224726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998569280792173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921646772636585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600195362171927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832580852035628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063357496420748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399574592327905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875105997944536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711283470974662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928078774900057,0.0,0.0,0.0711112370656225,0.11392648623356813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535574853915773,0.43210523399744144,0.06177806372390687,0.08313733034572908,0.08401569947820378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063680342310354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545398844356904,0.0
mentalhealth,rnrcl,2019/01/18,"Why do I get sudden, incredibly strong urges to destroy things? I've had intrusive thoughts before but this is much different. I've had intrusive thoughts about hurting myself or doing any number of destructive things but these thoughts make me cringe and I try to shake them off immediately cause I want nothing to do with them. But more recently I have thoughts about breaking glass or throwing my phone across the room or lighting things on fire and these thoughts feel more like compulsions. The urge to do them is very very strong and feels like the only way for me to ease what I am feeling in the moment. I have been able to talk myself down, but it is scary for me. I don't see myself as a very angry or destructive person...at least not anymore than anyone else is. I've never been violent like that, not even when I was a kid. And sometimes this happens when I'm very sad or when I start to feed jaded. Why is this happening? What does it mean?",5.60206306306306,6.40330167027027,5.347905405405406,84.17951576576576,67.43243243243244,8.545045045045045,29.47072072072072,8.59863814320734,2.024666666666667,759,26,150,11,12,234,109,185,0.182,0.679,0.139,-0.9231,1,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,3,2,6,12,4,1,6,0,18,1,0,2,1,29,35,17,0,1,11,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,13,5,1,0,9,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,10,6,19,5,20,25,4,18,0,2,1,0,6,6,0,5,11,100,32,0,0.12512284639879284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508782619640655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408824211582095,0.08748880345312149,0.12820314246946185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647032655227982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853562992586415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307267434464079,0.0,0.0,0.10949584607156604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452408275321838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264245998473355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897976119803344,0.17877557293604893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537152298833082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22129143969181309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394659492217004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18338610765406346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352047156601956,0.0,0.0,0.13629546074763052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197968892233843,0.0,0.09650245272155364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005874570147035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516156293767933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925244326225676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354371588614532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997067088703043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237496944713042,0.0,0.0885625946848217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056900436616574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493781781199361,0.0,0.0,0.4966678184153662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084950199425434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129578088141802,0.07380069662717402,0.09931669148225424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258078145222294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alexacookmeham,2019/01/18,"I am terrified to die. It consumes my every thought and makes me unable to enjoy life at all. Any advice on how to cope?? I won’t kill myself. That makes death come now. 

I’m terrified of an afterlife or not. 

I’m terrified of dying with a partner I don’t love 100%. 

I’m terrified of dying and leaving behind a dog or a partner. 

I’m terrified of the pain of dying. 

I’m terrified of spending everyday working my ass off to then just die. 

I’m terrified of not finding a passion that I love before dying. 

I’m terrified of never owning a better car than my 2003 Jeep Liberty before I die. 

I’m terrified of dying in front of someone. Also terrified of dying when I’m alone. 

I’m terrified of dying before my parents or my younger siblings. Also terrified of dying after them. 

Terrified that I’ll die in 30 years. Terrified that I’ll die in 70. Terrified that I don’t know. I could die at 33 thinking “I’m still young and have my whole life to live.” I could die at 110 wondering why I never found a god. 

Terrified that I don’t believe in a god, and that I’ll go to hell. Terrified there isn’t a god and I’ll just cease to exist forever. Terrified that there is a god, but even if I believe in him I’m doomed because I don’t believe in him good enough. Terrified that there’s a god and he doesn’t care about us. 

Terrified that I have a terminal illness and I don’t know. Terrified I’ll wake up tomorrow in the hospital and they’ll tell me I only have 24 hours. 

Terrified that we aren’t just a random evolution of sentience. That we have a destiny. And instead I spend it building fucking tiny houses on sims, neglecting whatever my soul purpose is. 

Terrified that I’m real and you’re real and my partner next to me is real and that everyone reading this post plus me plus my dogs plus my neighbor in the house next door that I’ve never met is real and will die, most likely painfully, tragically, horribly. 

Guys it’s been days without sleep. I’m starting to hallucinate. I’m self-harming as a way to experience reality. I’m not eating and I’m nauseous and dizzy. I don’t have insurance and I’m terribly alone. I just need some serious words to help cope. Get me through the night. ",1.3786076779026215,3.6947347123595513,3.9622542134831455,83.16757607677903,82.7752808988764,7.573501872659175,26.574204119850197,8.536127082880203,2.3200720973782776,1717,77,336,43,48,601,193,445,0.324,0.634,0.043,-0.9991,2,2,0,0,0,1,47.0,3,0,2,2,16,18,3,0,19,0,25,13,3,3,4,62,61,30,18,4,13,1,0,1,4,3,5,0,2,4,19,23,1,1,7,1,2,4,17,10,0,0,4,0,41,8,51,52,6,39,3,3,0,5,19,15,3,8,19,203,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049498405122225836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049243285775127,0.0,0.08101581153058962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034446389196967984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030878147467429142,0.0,0.12930821494542988,0.17120879897733554,0.0,0.04479925846552977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051645027256409584,0.0,0.0,0.04363384990143211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088603528062095,0.0,0.0,0.032667575197765295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8411320205902826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183158576202754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233901964596442,0.0,0.03345642341664628,0.0,0.042678095683483734,0.04840197245724027,0.0,0.049549234210085516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046296747197004905,0.0,0.0,0.055539387157732815,0.0,0.04682871459680662,0.02646457224158916,0.0,0.0287877788573337,0.04248608830956427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015532508707495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03395224162945769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498838883395392,0.1168956000355712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056041035676900185,0.0,0.0556761177765758,0.0,0.0,0.053635166566761636,0.0,0.0,0.0715566955845548,0.024746937056885042,0.0,0.04472832198310593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091434245353389,0.0,0.06762374356201169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03755922523562611,0.11720223186459873,0.0,0.1077419952397594,0.047535254037703215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03852457372664085,0.1077986425591431,0.0,0.05624516179283495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04851243445145522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066760795996952,0.23062091234386334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052843065213025835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050690481936168666,0.0,0.0429188853419754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03585309134311311,0.0,0.0404522702080307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427374151900704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03245697399429333,0.0,0.04021353873879377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093040520484276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0402067083093187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04570726630619908,0.05655327072448728,0.0,0.048828552295893515,0.05493199411938687,0.0368766426999223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0326194510367307
mentalhealth,croftlion,2019/01/18,"Undiagnosed for a decade and still... Hello!

I've had mental illness for around 10 years now, and I'm 25 years old.
I have an inability to follow through with appointments, treatments and have settled on numbing myself with pot and alcohol.

I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me, I'm always in such a daze, and I feel either dissociated or like reality is less solid than what's going on in my mind.

I feel trapped inside my body and mind, like there's some emotional version of me bashing inside my head to get out.
It's gotten so bad that I have a hard time looking in mirrors. I feel I'll see what I've become, and looking what's happing to me is becoming to hard...

It's very frustrating because I'm handsome, kind, polite and helpful. Yet I have no friends, I have anxiety leaving my comfort zone and I feel like I'm drowning in my life.
Like I'm flailing in an ocean, inside my own head, trying to grab something solid and take control of my life again.

I'm 25 and I've been homeless for 6 months now.
I eat at the foodbank and live in a van.
I don't recognize myself anymore and I wish something would just hit me back into straights",4.111853448275864,4.993804926724142,5.323620689655171,82.72094827586207,70.85344827586206,7.6965517241379295,30.87931034482759,7.8658589789855275,2.0541844827586213,901,38,180,11,16,300,130,232,0.131,0.7240000000000001,0.14400000000000002,0.2913,0,1,3,0,1,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,11,14,1,0,7,0,11,9,3,1,1,34,32,15,1,2,4,0,7,4,1,1,5,0,0,0,7,19,2,1,4,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,3,10,24,9,27,27,5,26,0,0,3,0,3,13,0,2,15,106,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791227369764444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737765694018314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872079963376994,0.0,0.12798020452776526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487941978797413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922937627427528,0.10774907064812804,0.07866601108725847,0.2850451168564165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334241271549988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447374736642307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204756226152328,0.0,0.1451607966721543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26100068559762085,0.0921913873498529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970159190166873,0.0,0.06742186640478977,0.0,0.07334053097444793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312019925346662,0.0,0.26487943497798605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649765725996031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438286153555015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664241393556353,0.0,0.0,0.1822997903018576,0.2521838885504472,0.0,0.11395109362532073,0.0,0.21673439173255016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004928445948793,0.0,0.2606018879553865,0.0,0.10300429065549016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541338984631282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725764429363152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283395732289903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986937687434003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103057307438744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162551404683072,0.0,0.0970274783599715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524849427748771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761461772497255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647750329166417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839797874763472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167146998374306,0.14109291913342892,0.0,0.16620440715379398
mentalhealth,yyz89,2019/01/18,"are these moments of madness or epiphany? have you ever woken up in the middle of the night feeling completely unlike your normal baseline self? i mean completely detached from the reality you've been living in for the vast majority of your life. it feels as if though your brain has been completely rewired. you're in the same familiar place, but something is very different- it genuinely feels as if though your life has changed. it can be very refreshing, but also extremely frightening once the big truths (which you tried to shield yourself from all these years) start to flow. it's almost as if though the veil has been pulled away and you're seeing things for what they really are. the lie that society has conditioned you to live in ceases to exist and you're left with the bitter exposed truth. is this epiphany? really no words can do this feeling justice.

i've woken up in the middle of the night to this feeling two- maybe three- times in my life and it always lingered for a few days; very heavy. waking up to this in a dark room can really shake you, because it's like you're not you. the physical sensation of being in your body is still there and familiar, but the brain that's controlling and processing everything isn't the one you've come to know so well over the span of your entire life.

sometimes the insights this rarely achieved state yields are incredibly valuable, but they are also- as mentioned above- extremely frightening. i've lied to myself so much that my internal dialogue-- the one thing that's supposed to be pure and sacred-- has become tainted. i no longer know what it means to be true to myself. i don't know what's real anymore, because even my inner voice is always playing tricks on me, misguiding me. sometimes an objective voice surfaces trying to restore order in my psyche, but it's quickly shut down by the version of me which lives for making bad impulsive decisions which i know will hurt me. maybe that bad version of me was born of my innermost repressed desires... or maybe it was groomed by me to become the version of me that i think other people would best like- i don't know. even just typing all this feels unauthentic to me, yet i continue to do it anyways.

life floats by at staggering speed, not enough time to process it all. i'm in awe of everything, but don't care about anything. the concept of day/night/week/weekend/month/year is meaningless to me- it's all the exact same. goals and ambitions left long ago. waiting for something- i don't know what. indifferent whether i live or die. sometimes i feel moments away from jabbing a knife in my throat or heart or driving into oncoming traffic or jumping off a roof. glimpses of my old ambitions and superficial interests keep me around, hoping i'll execute the desire... but they're really only glimpses and dissipate the moment i ease off that momentary lapse of wanting to go on.",6.345563755637556,7.5108394501845055,6.087570725707259,78.23331590815907,65.93726937269372,9.490856908569086,33.136736367363675,9.656535879935292,3.1857206232062314,2330,98,411,47,36,726,268,542,0.108,0.795,0.097,-0.8474,2,0,2,0,0,0,66.0,0,11,2,4,19,20,3,2,28,0,36,11,6,2,10,78,65,37,1,9,20,0,7,2,0,2,5,2,1,1,37,13,0,5,18,1,0,7,9,8,1,4,7,11,43,12,74,52,14,66,1,1,1,0,15,37,0,11,22,279,80,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408173947662726,0.0,0.07238914067520535,0.0,0.0,0.11562240730015205,0.12030404983908352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169339200845723,0.0,0.0,0.05948945387417143,0.06435444690023549,0.0,0.0,0.13583982342500245,0.0,0.12072017526503145,0.08813602371446287,0.15967978312185,0.0,0.0,0.07586509812708696,0.0,0.0,0.08029916676700471,0.0,0.16140165497774062,0.0,0.0,0.07370564169703363,0.0,0.07647444741676776,0.06227242151949799,0.2273876747801501,0.0,0.08108066771742202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324361784855344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502679665281207,0.0755288615914513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746960788624753,0.0,0.09549524079321822,0.06539148065606619,0.0,0.0,0.12994124203075352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558680300451608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041084724443605385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566535654054519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180141987872361,0.0,0.0,0.07738916737163444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425569248904099,0.0,0.0,0.23837594087509226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570890841477254,0.0,0.2553068729925173,0.07063560511868798,0.0,0.25533762679056043,0.06397538968551092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04825490156533056,0.0,0.2178785194179755,0.15749250258912853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05770210335079602,0.0,0.053142310522621215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20352103125159612,0.07082997459857422,0.0,0.0,0.07585739745664764,0.0769877115776492,0.09797270340698533,0.054980674393474004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050117578602678715,0.0,0.0755288615914513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228315113799357,0.18524623799233256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05760668410661975,0.0,0.07541543179805141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130651263389636,0.21449337677885105,0.0,0.05116804549538787,0.0,0.057731802889399414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605405087786824,0.0463212476182094,0.21307705285816972,0.0,0.08430709762011157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816188616677568,0.0,0.07061794570870197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894330013939622,0.042639191139888205,0.0,0.057987597099392975,0.0,0.06499842242234569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05135355626119637,0.0,0.0,0.09310625623375264
mentalhealth,lilsage1995,2019/01/18,"I can’t tell if I’m speaking my thoughts or just thinking them? Hi Reddit mental health community,

I’m writing because for the past 6 months or so, I’ve been having the bizarre experience of being unsure if I’ve said a thought in conversation, or if I kept it in my head. Multiple times when I’m talking to someone, I’ll find myself saying “I’m not sure if I’ve already said this but ______”. It’s really confusing and disorienting to feel like I’m not sure what I’ve already allowed to exit my head even a minute before or not. When I look back on past conversations from days or weeks ago, I’m also confused as to what I’ve kept private VS shared in the discussion. 

I’m wondering if anyone has experienced this, or knows what it might be. Maybe it’s relevant to say that I do have CPTSD and an anxiety disorder. I’ve also had some psychotic episodes in the past where my reality became really confusing. 

Just wanted to write in the hopes of some help or advice,

Thank you ",4.716769230769232,5.50489001025641,6.235384615384612,77.0746153846154,69.41025641025641,9.692307692307693,30.89743589743589,9.851270322608157,2.9488974358974365,772,31,151,18,13,264,116,195,0.108,0.8059999999999999,0.086,-0.0908,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,0,10,9,0,3,8,0,10,3,2,1,2,43,31,21,0,7,19,0,1,1,0,1,1,5,0,0,10,2,0,2,7,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,8,8,11,6,17,20,2,19,0,0,1,0,17,8,0,20,12,86,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008772883472744,0.11800684437931158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938124106302649,0.21291924246230748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183988451015652,0.0,0.0,0.09308375153750413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236452963586223,0.0,0.08115146467331305,0.0,0.11327915152273972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858542947701314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525722199359364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792748223821548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022131375695026,0.0,0.0,0.0673117513658209,0.09510417536497004,0.0,0.0,0.12167338887833393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27324830397793937,0.1415051271936817,0.0,0.0,0.08923055180298753,0.0,0.0,0.13222267452544031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316174828264696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503791040129102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117910587500528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374146178792773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415819319855093,0.14122406586803024,0.0,0.0,0.1062587124832948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3812472197173107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056593779408324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532637852935549,0.2117319045333103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279596391982875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509365473125809,0.0,0.0,0.10700043714519836,0.11635668799836292,0.12256316144716554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530080961880422,0.0,0.21137197895647147,0.07762597137798202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852028416206995,0.0,0.10678445065203217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14436785059454255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bojyo,2019/01/18,"I’m nervous/embarrassed about going back to therapy So I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow, and I’m a little nervous because I feel like I kinda don’t need to go back. The last time I went to therapy I wasn’t on medication and was near suicidal.

I’m currently taking antidepressants, and while I do plan on killing myself before 2019 ends I feel pretty good. I know there are things I should talk about, but I feel like if I go back things are just going to get worse.

So I’m debating about just canceling the appointment, or going and seeing what happens. Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do? What should I do? 

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mentalhealth,tedfidosomber,2019/01/18,"I hate everything about myself, and I have no idea how tf to improve. I skipped school for the first time last week. The pressure of socializing and presenting myself in public is becoming way too much to handle. Im so insecure about myself and I have no self value. Its just the way i’ve been conditioned to think and act, and I have no idea how to change. 

I hate my personality. I hate that I am a passive person that lets people step all over me. I hate that I try to please everyone so they like me. 

But I have no fucking clue how to change. In order to raise my self confidence, I have to believe in myself. The problem is, theres nothing to fucking believe in. I have no idea who “myself” is, because for the past 5 years, all i’ve been is an incredibly insecure people pleaser. Around my friends, im super obnoxious and pretty mean. Around people that arent my friends, im insanely quiet, awkward, and just fucking weird. 

I might have Borderline Personality Disorder but idk. Theres lots of symptoms I can relate to, but at the same time theres lots of symptoms that dont apply to me. Although, when I read about what BPD was, it did give me an 8 hour mental breakdown so I could be on to something. 

Every time I try to become more self aware, I end up hating myself even more, getting frustrated about myself, and it just makes me more depressed and stressed out. 

Idefk why im making this post, im not even leaving anything for people to reply to",3.5073278985507237,5.1515654513888895,4.780978260869566,83.0879347826087,73.30555555555556,7.369806763285023,27.45229468599034,8.04050195162591,1.7880445048309184,1142,43,221,17,23,378,147,288,0.175,0.752,0.073,-0.9802,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,1,2,22,21,9,5,9,0,23,5,0,5,2,37,37,20,0,2,7,0,0,1,2,1,2,1,0,6,11,12,0,0,5,1,0,2,8,17,0,1,4,1,36,4,36,29,9,29,0,1,0,3,13,11,3,3,13,160,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347088610392705,0.13732295401889702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04701733801982732,0.17036662244477324,0.0,0.17379673833470988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714172072323096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318525808346165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06158151271678715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643139917200074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839692131302225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090395027901396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831371401780774,0.0,0.0,0.10188642115749903,0.0,0.0649848069062271,0.07370040259859899,0.06931888961849751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656061887064877,0.0,0.0,0.11917989441096508,0.21391453346298106,0.040296903819940666,0.0739895040036541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38074634233087296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595687669661587,0.0,0.0,0.2612089557363326,0.4165646863504927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287071744024345,0.0,0.08166884878308188,0.0,0.07886998965249753,0.0,0.037681506177994435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114523638968614,0.0,0.0,0.10296888479385008,0.0,0.0,0.0840164772330938,0.0,0.0,0.07772824733525603,0.08182205543894658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056698949457750336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400769489703451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736286953075083,0.21388712897069195,0.20203912943952196,0.0,0.08466486865986105,0.0,0.0,0.07386860015403288,0.07846828103765173,0.0,0.0738023747763338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715022582306237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805902350656946,0.0,0.0,0.24138821103941105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862366278981854,0.0,0.05937794454252545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835141386956108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033386122816706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04942137539177604,0.0,0.0,0.13492423889409827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473153627895614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244338150388592,0.06186851502655932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959724485245329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496687748846633
mentalhealth,MyMentalHealth888,2019/01/19,"Today Was Difficult Today was difficult. Lately it's all been difficult. But my anxiety was off the hook. I had watched a few minutes of ""Bird Box"" because it's my sister's favorite movie and I should have realized how triggering it would be seeing violence and suicide. But I never realize how triggering it is until after. I didn't sleep well, my anxiety was incredibly bad, my depression followed soon after. Even once I was home I began to get heart palpitations, dizziness, and racing heartbeat after an entire day of stress. Now I'm much better but today was difficult. 

I am in therapy right now but I hope that soon I can get past all this. 
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mentalhealth,fluteluke,2019/01/19,"The power of touch First, let's get this out of the way: this is a post about non-intimate touch by licensed professionals and that's all I want to talk about.

I have MDD and SAD, have had several great therapists, and am taking fluoxetine daily. That said, my moods still fluctuate. I'm self-employed, and tie a lot of my happiness into career successes. When things don't go well, I tend to withdraw, watch Netflix, and drink lots of alcohol. This makes me feel shitty, which usually pushes me further into the blanket fort, so to speak, until I'm in a full-on depressive episode or can break out of the cycle.

Something I love to do to break the cycle is self-care.

1) I have a monthly massage membership that I purchased for chronic pain (a repetitive strain injury that started parties through my career, which is a whole other later to my career/happiness issues); now it has become mentally therapeutic. I use the sessions as a touch-based meditation, and feels wonderful to allow my body to feel good and not think about anything else.

2) If you can't afford a massage, find a good practitioner, or don't feel good about getting naked-ish in front of a stranger: get your hair done! Man, woman, non-binary, go get your hair shampooed and trimmed. Maybe don't even get a trim if you don't want/need it, but even just going and getting my scalp massaged and my hair shampooed, towel dried, and brushed by someone else feels so simple but so powerfully comforting.... It's awesome. I don't know if it's like a childhood thing, like my mom fixing my hair as a kid? Maybe it's the same kind of thing as the massage.

I think that having someone whose job it is to take care of me, even though I'm paying them for it, can be incredibly comforting. I'm in control of if so I feel like I'm taking an active step in something.

TL;DR I get massages or get my hair washed when I'm depressed and even though it's not a personal connection, it makes me feel human and loved again.",5.9630717108978,6.180133311688312,6.416182947487298,78.87595143986448,66.53246753246754,9.396950875211743,32.32354601919819,9.20300075937882,2.7207696216826656,1555,60,298,26,23,505,196,385,0.05,0.805,0.145,0.9893,6,0,4,0,0,0,63.0,0,4,1,5,22,22,0,1,23,0,23,14,7,5,1,51,64,34,0,5,12,1,14,3,0,0,4,2,0,5,24,17,2,1,12,2,2,6,8,5,1,1,3,18,30,16,39,59,5,32,0,3,1,2,17,9,0,10,16,186,54,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939068331305273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230992810014697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704605509583572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760430794515668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958982314681617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855422887827536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136545249593816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899220215917933,0.0,0.08607962979440632,0.0,0.0,0.14680904201917402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23215052571400024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31100972778848723,0.06277469724641564,0.0,0.0,0.08031203804114091,0.07474259584974159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672696439885576,0.0,0.1498164772271328,0.2211047998264816,0.0,0.09687752795531514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707954596705276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171396447588996,0.08719790495438842,0.0,0.0,0.09150359584012288,0.04829132454844119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985353177034927,0.0,0.12878725206267932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940870052589747,0.1586130999622248,0.0,0.11730847185281283,0.0,0.17655544019621658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855278886385441,0.0,0.0,0.10291285855898806,0.07013738860922471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935003991225688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672512454117766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841556419623727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358496030417231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18333617459299928,0.09926864494185507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890476592666904,0.13529399585107968,0.0,0.0,0.062195186706915775,0.0,0.07017348864647772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820302374395526,0.07062697322433242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202441416155414,0.1751317517739589,0.11260772680369399,0.17266462505611707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589189249423688,0.0967769330032978,0.0,0.10365658599237504,0.06974750674181189,0.0,0.0,0.07900612538693035,0.0,0.0,0.09810426660104092,0.0,0.0,0.09529180057983284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwawaycausereazon,2019/01/19,"I'm too lazy to be alive I think I'm getting to the point in my life where I know I'm going to have to work for myself, on my own accord, that scares me because I've always been under the watchful eye of people who expected something of me. I've never done anything myself for myself, I'm too lazy to be alive, for now breathing doesn't seem such a chore but I think I'll get there. I mean what's the point? You fulfill expectations of people all your life have fun in the breaks, do it until those breaks become shorter, and you have a life where you've sacrificed your leisure time to do something you may not want to do just so you can have that leisure time in the future. I just can't justify to myself that being alive is even worth it. I had fun sometimes but I know I'm gonna have to try to work for myself and I don't want that. Killing myself would end my life while it is good. I don't want to see myself get more and more decadent. I think I'm worthless, I have 0 drive to do anything even remotely productive.

Right now I'm going through exams and I know that makes me a little more depressed but I just hate thinking about my future. I think I'll mess it up since I can't fully function for myself and by then no one will be there to save my ass. I don't give a shit about anything anymore. I hate pressure studying (which I'm doing right now because I haven't been studying regularly like a dumbass) and it makes me feel like I can't really learn shit and makes me feel like I'm wasting my time.

Tldr: I hate thinking about my future, and if I kill myself I won't have to think about it anymore",3.5246857069998754,4.102138316715543,4.5182736197883475,89.07567129924776,71.99120234604106,6.98615325768201,25.676526839219683,6.7026698264267655,0.8464730587785287,1270,37,279,9,23,414,144,341,0.154,0.7020000000000001,0.14400000000000002,-0.4263,0,0,2,0,0,3,24.0,0,6,0,2,20,19,7,2,10,0,35,9,5,3,2,44,75,16,2,7,8,0,2,3,0,5,4,0,1,0,15,8,0,0,15,0,1,3,12,12,0,1,4,5,49,7,35,62,5,32,0,2,3,1,8,13,3,3,17,183,64,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973956342111567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007838178614828,0.0,0.0,0.2365837103455152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683610089709852,0.10583846687078204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253961180365238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980689930548774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487834828371503,0.0,0.0,0.12659172853833073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691066705692758,0.13692422032563858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020415825844388,0.0919303975849477,0.10892660703582148,0.08037899465463909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838415780792079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120469210670996,0.0,0.15799961415182845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707547567093759,0.14045542909863049,0.09604843341746536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919050001506258,0.0,0.0,0.10438870025866877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391123340512093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493796848326427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287512242011795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118366436834166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139217325880016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636793159465177,0.0,0.0,0.0959441439167387,0.0,0.07636537335100863,0.08724148432744007,0.0,0.0,0.1967395089584794,0.07927288515556871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755168650141934,0.0947798972350691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.429835113114906,0.0,0.0,0.16764051999548935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506336202315477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957187180341846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953308409382675,0.0,0.0,0.06807601509453381,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justapersoninspace,2019/01/19,"Would it be a good idea to go to my on-campus health clinic about my sleep problems? I am constantly tired every day no matter what I do or how much I sleep. I feel the best when I sleep 10-11 hours, but even then am still tired during the day. If I sleep around 8 hours, I am extremely tired.  I really feel like this is messing with my schoolwork, but don’t have many options for seeing somebody about it. Actually, my only option would be my on-campus clinic. I’m not sure if it’s physical (I’m vegetarian, so I might be deficient in certain things) or mental, and I don’t really know what to about it or if going to the clinic would be a good idea. ",3.649526143790851,4.1177186911764725,5.400392156862747,83.25898692810459,71.64705882352942,8.397385620915033,23.93464052287581,8.515128840125781,1.3134160130718953,506,12,109,8,9,174,78,136,0.116,0.767,0.117,0.0579,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,9,8,0,0,5,0,16,11,4,1,2,28,24,13,0,7,9,0,2,1,0,4,7,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,3,15,6,11,16,2,12,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,9,9,74,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.12102957177350344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040768969101014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301555776771473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402592624627352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997049032290808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191670832639346,0.0,0.10449560230907366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542056165407098,0.0886027985299052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097143945443946,0.20805095993927036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183175425869315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24427739214128055,0.0,0.0,0.2800160884536096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816036854645463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060591880955566814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574090961082382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498706095174872,0.13156990644900785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117193934928212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432587070241656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867425589524973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15890595091579934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883110195681667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964544323196741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904575807475473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689118937209153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239606082955374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4276421658578216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643093575027798,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stealerofsweetcakes,2019/01/19,"Schizoaffective Husband My husband was recently diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (changed from previous diagnosis of major depression with psychotic features). I more or less understand the clinical definition but we are still figuring out what this means for our lives together.

He has dealt with depression and suicidal tendencies since he was a kid, but once he hit his twenties he started hearing “noise,” which gradually developed into whispering, then recently into distinct voices (one voice tells him to hurt himself, another to hurt others, another just says random nonsense) along with delusions (ie that I am an alien) and paranoia (can’t be near windows because people are trying to shoot him - sometimes thinks that I am trying to kill him). He is usually able to logic his way out of them pretty quickly, but the lag time for him to stop believing it’s real gets longer and longer. It got so bad so quickly that a few months ago he admitted himself into the inpatient program at the hospital, and for a while everything was great on the new meds. The depression has stayed away but the paranoia and hallucinations are quickly coming back (which is why they changed his diagnosis) despite the doctor upping his dosage at med review last week. The intensity makes it difficult for him to function in daily life, struggling to get through a day working at a gas station whereas when I met 5 years ago he was somewhat of a genius biochemistry student. 

I love my husband, all of him, even his struggles. But we have a 2 year old together and the violent nature of some of his symptoms makes safety a factor. Is there hope that this can be managed with medication and lifestyle adjustments, or is progression inevitable? Have you had or loved someone who had a similar diagnosis? Advice and stories much appreciated. ",10.466155362776023,10.157501993690854,9.743815063091484,60.492504929022104,57.45425867507886,13.350867507886436,45.68000788643533,12.494345625449446,6.199605835962144,1480,82,215,43,16,473,200,317,0.191,0.718,0.091,-0.9904,0,0,0,1,0,0,34.0,3,1,2,2,11,15,2,2,20,0,23,8,0,2,2,48,40,21,2,1,9,3,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,1,14,22,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,11,0,1,8,5,27,4,39,29,8,40,0,5,0,2,39,13,0,7,24,160,41,6,0.10572179658236566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331011604219548,0.1874319875641563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22171704353973304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993291080378624,0.08129353575479267,0.08827328414388193,0.06444702592237139,0.0,0.0,0.11911226126793155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236792851483586,0.09106996650808423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818181264961366,0.0,0.2731740854421764,0.10730539810476604,0.0,0.0,0.1211663381903026,0.1082107386181486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982824955664202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501593378743388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047055041609778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455537859683519,0.116558653962787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915614837446058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500559869092056,0.0,0.0,0.22635473966325656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696550393106946,0.0,0.0,0.08617737471485072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467443149109676,0.0,0.0,0.09335428329533146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908360981402146,0.0,0.14114024032386724,0.0,0.0,0.1151620298848941,0.2348661654600497,0.10650358755962566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438612938727054,0.0,0.0777176849938618,0.0,0.0,0.10210676993346172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093724119278517,0.11259026297404022,0.07163982546581198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732941821345929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755707479621444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033454995756708,0.0,0.0,0.2087750395050259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407421600449981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745416263183392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957773516404109,0.0,0.10456156011929846,0.0,0.07483043176809914,0.11268536842416603,0.0844295633170892,0.08838815585153975,0.0,0.22104675290181133,0.0,0.11564248611917036,0.0,0.0,0.10988542680200346,0.0,0.0,0.09240551008979876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774225839093423,0.0,0.0,0.06164722977934425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355632023687365,0.0,0.0,0.11006011872165268,0.0,0.0,0.11643762267255835,0.0,0.0,0.08391704118251063,0.08480364817790967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539747744204936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696672705248242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616274154757352
mentalhealth,always4eversleeping,2019/01/19,"One Breath At A Time Hi 

I honestly don't remember when my depression and anxiety developed. It feels as if they were with me my entire life...  unremovable companions that have been growing stronger and louder with time. I have tried to keep them hidden in some secret corner of my mind, where no one can see them, but all this did was give them more power over me. Not too long ago, I almost let them win. 

What saved me was speaking up. 

My depression and anxiety are still here, trying their best to tear me apart, but I have found new ways to overcome them. One way that I am speaking up is through blogging -- something I have never tried before. 

And my focus? Mental health. 

I'm not a health professional or published writer, but I hope that I can help others with similar experiences. If you're interested, my webpage is   [https://wordpress.com/view/1breathatime.wordpress.com](https://wordpress.com/view/1breathatime.wordpress.com) (twitter: @alwaysforevers2). 

And even if you're not interested, I sincerely hope that you're doing ok and that you manage to find something or someone to help you through this. Because we all deserve to get better. We're worth it.   ",6.694850724209278,9.475356959798997,5.756198640260128,74.64297664794563,67.34170854271358,8.099438368312148,28.288796925805503,8.841846274778883,2.3883541826780967,941,33,152,17,17,283,123,199,0.069,0.71,0.221,0.9888,1,0,2,0,0,0,51.0,1,2,7,4,6,13,0,0,2,1,18,4,1,0,3,36,27,16,0,5,11,0,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,11,10,0,1,5,1,1,1,6,2,0,3,6,4,29,11,18,20,5,19,0,2,1,0,18,8,0,9,8,111,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573359801091247,0.0,0.14203339653929606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21701614288268573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646503252331635,0.0,0.12069634922865892,0.0,0.14885350848580967,0.12544694737041465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443351041079441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368472450899312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387478362165217,0.0,0.0,0.07171913402274123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296402174494204,0.0,0.0,0.15552147103332198,0.0,0.0,0.07410613288890992,0.13606693061530098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015409635370711,0.0,0.0,0.1901462307495725,0.0,0.0,0.2817604808289242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607490800521426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450421590763183,0.100186580453149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552493104909185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294249136327375,0.0,0.14321910063995727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939661887280444,0.1369910411968734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883456490138473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067834294723513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302901140573975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120181523871301,0.21839245360390536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327450465960767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16541739984290102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889024370145558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22517376376207715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnonyMouseMooseAnon,2019/01/19,"How much does being admitted into a mental hospital impact your life and future? I’m sorry if this question offends anybody. I don’t know what information I need to give for this question, so if you need to know anything, ask. Have been having severe anxiety, to the point of mental breakdowns. I know this might come off as impatient, but I’m considering just going to a mental hospital for some help. This has been going on for a while. Feel like I can’t get out all the emotion from my body, no matter what I do. I’m scared that at any point I might just snap and hurt somebody or even myself. Currently taking 10 mg if escopralitam (Lexapro) for depression.

I’m just scared that if I should go to a mental hospital, it will go on my record and it will make life harder. I really just need some advice.",3.5763534566699136,5.39584628481013,4.908227848101267,81.52036514118794,73.49367088607596,7.8995131450827625,24.812074001947426,8.617729084823388,1.7849711781888993,635,20,120,12,13,211,96,158,0.172,0.772,0.056,-0.9578,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,0,7,6,1,2,6,0,14,3,1,2,1,36,36,13,0,8,10,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,8,0,0,5,3,5,0,0,2,1,13,1,18,28,4,16,0,2,0,0,9,8,0,11,4,83,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101223234595693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421351036845902,0.0,0.09473508283079947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019074250332686,0.0,0.11577102095407588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755515952206987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066747417291992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666075812918176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837072682014814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930012872198436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179327139859682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261578527704695,0.0884692866070245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469980107697534,0.11879588099896705,0.2815180307491118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300543305556203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257023318776867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041729814484844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493968645262215,0.06050057753545411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266226101449772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4991948923047963,0.2627432983071744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103455609347924,0.2754710386965695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341322739452888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774519048950378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933325102810758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247965186765316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990073366627634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862555371037671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311012707955396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jakeisawesome69,2019/01/19,For God’s sake somebody help me please I am anxious all the time and I have no idea what to do. I’m already on duloxytine and guanfanacine and I am constantly anxious. Somebody please help me. I am at my wits and don’t know what to do. Being a 16-year old male is also anxiety producing due to the fact I am constantly worrying about what everybody thinks of me. I need some advice and fast. I beg you. Anybody...,0.728751369112814,3.2306615903614504,2.5647754654983608,90.11371303395404,89.72289156626505,6.391675794085432,25.61774370208105,7.686295010490155,1.7622626506024108,324,15,66,7,11,107,55,83,0.124,0.7559999999999999,0.12,0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,10,0,0,1,2,13,14,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,12,0,8,13,2,8,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,6,45,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19460501308857756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197646485508689,0.15925849554506974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523475906264542,0.4499608606243008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4304162406395063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669692653883247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22481372725102347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944647208205338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476656369134984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20897221009329767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4372091600838071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760592656224645,0.0,0.0,0.11612473606344507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022443489886565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824471172900168
mentalhealth,projecthealingminds,2019/01/19,"Seeking anyone interested in sharing their mental illness story for an ​interview Hi Everyone! 

An important request! 

My name is Alex I'm seeking individuals who are interested in speaking with me about mental illness for my YouTube Channel Project Healing Minds. This would be a filmed interview but we can also do voice over to keep you anonymous if you'd prefer that. Anyone who's interested in sharing their experiences related to mental illness, the battle, the overcome, the stigma really anything that could bring hope and a sense of community to others. My vision for this channel is to build a safe space where anyone in a time of need can log on and watch your stories and feel a sense of community, hope, and safety. I'm in CT and looking for people who are in the surrounding states. If you're not from CT or within driving distance of CT we can talk about how to do an interview together. I don't want anyone to feel like they can't share based on location. We'll make it work!  If you're interested please send me an email at projecthealingminds@gmail.com or message me here. 

Can't wait to hear your story! Thank you for supporting Project Healing Minds! 

Warmly,

Alex",6.594305555555558,8.141087226851853,6.906555555555558,71.19400000000003,65.62037037037037,9.463703703703702,34.30740740740741,9.725611199111238,3.5446707407407416,955,43,156,20,15,309,125,216,0.058,0.723,0.219,0.9907,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,3,5,3,1,6,15,1,0,13,0,17,5,0,2,0,32,33,13,0,10,7,0,3,1,0,2,5,3,0,0,9,8,0,3,3,3,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,8,18,14,31,28,0,19,0,0,2,0,28,14,0,7,2,102,27,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497808285032327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371020177279668,0.0,0.12860617710036046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477788505418735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933345996530598,0.0,0.15287307949609258,0.0,0.0,0.1580410214072064,0.11164737738796937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761403603106986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104451468158342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890998201850627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635113915064191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312369144358832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431896769127637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4724843163272018,0.0,0.3155990832653281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588058860632808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083457616412201,0.0,0.0,0.17154991463677013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011778953631076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734614409735674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561297272998467,0.0,0.14388280522323446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112887092796887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217874782900687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377463286540054,0.0,0.0,0.11101773711404292,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,joho3883,2019/01/19,"What are your thoughts on EMDR? What are your guys' thoughts on EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). I have a history of mental illnesses including anxiety and depression since 1st grade, and I just tried it for the first time (I'm a freshman in highschool now). However, it didn't work for me. I'm not sure if it's the fact I can't picture situations very well, I don't liked being watched, and something else. Has anybody else tried EMDR and has it worked for you? Do you know why it didn't work for me?",3.440814081408142,5.606056821782179,4.55894389438944,82.36523652365237,74.84158415841584,8.053245324532451,29.04400440044005,8.841846274778883,2.4146228822882296,413,18,81,9,9,135,64,101,0.14,0.836,0.024,-0.8835,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,4,0,4,3,4,0,0,4,0,11,2,1,0,2,13,16,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,1,1,1,4,2,10,3,8,11,0,7,0,1,2,0,5,3,0,1,4,51,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096939009658232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123293578534347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35155490564377945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789816612800678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20834715560564532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564037072609655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279973137055053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21205211140509966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740601559781307,0.2365189362123108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199025377259868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19831671632453532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340971830416557,0.12269657736230395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28572036756293984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736170981946035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18919128259181303,0.0,0.1898697478059096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595609898735029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thehandthatfeeds666,2019/01/19,"Stressed about choosing a career So I’m a 16 year old sophomore and I’ve been constantly reminded by adults that the time is coming to choose a college and career path and I don’t know where to start. I have ideas like wanting to be a marine biologist or a writer and some other stuff but it’s all so confusing and stressful. And speaking of college, I go to a therapeutic school currently where I have an IEP  and several accommodations and the school is tuned to help people with mental disorders and depression and such. But I’m afraid college is gonna be like regular public school and I won’t be able to handle it and I’ll just fail and end up dropping out. It’s all so confusing and stressful and I don’t know what to do. ",2.935682888540029,4.9420418775510235,4.473061224489797,83.13320251177394,75.80272108843538,7.788383045525903,26.953950811093673,8.617729084823388,2.0663944531658824,584,23,115,12,13,195,85,147,0.183,0.7609999999999999,0.057,-0.9687,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,8,10,0,6,9,0,13,0,0,0,2,33,22,21,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,1,7,18,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,1,1,6,2,13,16,3,14,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,4,9,76,13,9,0.1627049140980282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015587661778067,0.0,0.17582621016028066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401375040987856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864739276490328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410826051378312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246895221812622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905767424751503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18367404350646302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788367313743422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589788049712719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396828480660472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707314374333578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127991009763384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4939981784039981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381024081823968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516337563618136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5591337881303076,0.0,0.18625819983259756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487454384881937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596757387398147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477663018897893
mentalhealth,JustgimmeAsniff,2019/01/19,"Do suicidal thoughts ever stop without actually attempting suicide? Whether successful or not? 

I’ve taken medication and gone to therapy for over 5 years now. I still think of suicide almost every single day, even in the happiest times of my life.

I wonder, once the poison of suicidal thoughts has slipped into your mind- does it ever go away? Are people who have attempted and survived just lying? Are they really happy to still be here? Do they ever think of suicide still? 

Is there any hope for me? Or will it never really stop..?",3.6156888472352406,6.606171206185572,4.880018744142454,75.78145267104031,79.20618556701032,8.063355201499531,27.37488284910965,8.841846274778883,2.941874226804124,425,18,67,11,11,140,72,97,0.141,0.625,0.234,0.9157,0,0,0,0,0,3,15.0,0,1,2,4,11,4,1,0,2,0,9,3,0,0,4,23,18,5,5,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,5,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,4,0,7,3,13,12,1,19,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,5,13,53,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.11782284624113215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209016406833554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210596279615635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343730129293662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786600501118554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565861493668458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797462933090649,0.3276432303639805,0.10172695072223577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861817319454394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852781874114502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992005134694946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528080188443214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163080681419873,0.0,0.0,0.1219109355015305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312056902951346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858200215357565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370450904131684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469567600049974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892645066856224,0.20188470558370936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6603387365143846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807439601504096,0.0,0.0,0.15472803747371178,0.0,0.19170493004124906,0.07040328375533919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638709866721515,0.13093518277619806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775129689031668
mentalhealth,justsophia_97,2019/01/19,"Spent a night in Suicide Precautions and found out my diagnosis and meds might be off?? [Rant] I (F21) have lived with a Major Depression D/O, Generalized Anxiety D/O, and Obsessive Compulsive D/O diagnosis since I was about 12. Always was content with it and have tried about 7 meds until we finally found a maintenance SSRI which I've been on for 2 years (since last breakdown). Well after having a major manic episode, I ended up in the ED on suicide and self harm precautions. Now I'm finding out I may be bipolar and just got an antipsychotic med script to take me off the edge so to speak. This has ROCKED my life and I've been bouncing between highs and lows, trying to figure all of this out. They won't give me anything until I'm further evaluated and am taking 4-5 melatonin just to sleep for more than an hour. I'm freaking out and scared. Ahhhh!!!!!!!!! Been staying with my 'safety sponsor' for the weekend but even he's freaked out and stressed. ",3.8567207207207232,5.669244113513518,4.974594594594596,81.36423423423425,72.72972972972974,7.9603603603603625,29.09009009009009,8.648137234880735,2.314863063063064,751,31,142,14,15,247,121,185,0.142,0.8390000000000001,0.019,-0.9591,0,0,0,0,0,2,33.0,1,0,1,0,8,9,0,3,9,0,15,3,1,0,1,31,25,15,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,4,20,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,8,1,0,9,1,11,1,30,11,4,27,0,2,0,0,6,15,0,2,11,89,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028528292584753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058780432533498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896034755156132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450909100115365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803702076555012,0.0,0.0,0.09548034394726156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835812757449633,0.13212498212854562,0.0,0.0,0.31700458368792506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867487365829834,0.0,0.0,0.1156176287144063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15273530067502816,0.0,0.0,0.14236222314535246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783548106231058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021068184883054,0.0,0.0,0.12764889761067333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4817198426585848,0.0,0.0,0.1533550380321218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356595218986298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447295169545296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508073346314985,0.0,0.0,0.2391626191612873,0.0,0.14466413788001362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540814470257596,0.0,0.0,0.16559269211060426,0.0,0.0,0.3162497819916936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21738186543988888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962931466712692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997656589721274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309173205909016
mentalhealth,KakkenSlapper,2019/01/19,"I am truly empty. Quite a long story. I'm not native speaker, but I think I can express myself clearly. I welcome any opinion about this, even if negative, loathing or anything. I deserve it. Advice is welcome too. I don't want emphathy, for I cannot give any. That being said :

Is it the family I grew in? Is it the people I once called friends? Is it the evergoing hatred that once grew in me? 

I cannot tell.
With that being said : 

Eversince I was a kid, I longed for approval. 
I always thought I'd belong to somewhere, at some point of life. It never was that. 
When I started to lose the thought of approval, I became violent, even in kindergarten. I kicked other children off one (not very high) bridge, that was in the yard, they were always the ones that couldn't even speak. I once took an icy snowball, and punched my best friend as hard as I could in the face with it. I took a friend with me, and we beat one kid up damn hard, and he was my good friend also. I never knew that it was wrong. I've never had the skill, or the conscience to differ the right from wrong. Even today. 
I have no remorse. 

My brother was sent to a family home by child services, because I became too violent with him, everyday, I beat him up, and there were no signs of it stopping. I terrorized my whole family, stole money, even as a child I could manipulate almost everyone to my will, no one expected that child that young could. As I was eleven, I was so violent that even my parents couldn't intervene when I beat my brother up, they were too afraid of me, attacking them the same way I did with others. 

I always had good social skills, more often people come to get to know me, there hasn't been a time where I've got a friend by taking the first step. Always others. I'm weird, never shared anything common with anyone that I've known. 
I've acted like I did.
I've always hidden myself behind the mask, as there is no one who I could talk to. 
Ever been, and never will. I know, that most of people would really, really be afraid to sticking around, the rest wouldn't be able to trust me. 

Mt brother and I are now in peace. I've apologized. He forgave me. Why, why the hell would he forgive me something that ruined his FUCKING CHILDHOOD? 
I cannot forgive myself. I ruined our family. 
I've never been bullied, by anyone. 
My father was a bit aggressive, but never hurted me. Oh, the yelling.. Didn't do anything. 

But onwards, to this state of life. I'm now 22, I've always manipulated and deceived people, without feeling guilt. I haven't been violent since I was teen, I've only asked for pain. I've harmed myself, tried to kill myself. With medicine, alone, and took so much that it should kill anyone. It didn't. With blades, and drugs. Why can't I just go? Where am I needed? What am I supposed to do? 
For now, I have nothing left. 
My behaviour has driven everyone away, and there is still people who cares too fucking much, I've done anything I would to get them to stay away. I don't care about them, and neither should they care about me. 
Only thing I can, and will do is to hurt them, not physically, but emotionally. 
I get what I want, the way I want. Always. 
I don't care about anything, that is on my way. 
I'm ready to ruin my own life, to achieve it. 

I want to burn, I don't want anyone to burn because of me. 

This week, I've pushed away the 3 close ones, that I could really talk to about this all. (Not all of it, obviously) 
But there is one of them, that made me feel the one special feeling, something there never was before. 

Shame, guilt, and left me more empty than ever. Even if she sticks around, I won't be there for her, anymore. I've shut myself off from her.

I've got nothing left. I am truly empty. ",1.9167875980716504,3.975459802684568,3.2482937895831405,90.46303714906895,79.16107382550334,5.700538803289536,21.365440967955386,6.716623685940359,0.4096104546743549,2863,81,594,28,71,931,284,745,0.201,0.672,0.127,-0.996,1,1,3,0,1,1,139.0,2,0,8,13,41,49,12,6,28,0,79,8,1,3,14,98,123,32,2,22,15,5,5,1,5,10,5,5,2,6,41,26,0,1,12,1,1,12,35,29,0,10,38,10,99,20,79,63,15,73,1,6,0,2,55,28,4,9,29,422,140,2,0.049679028183927734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048545771377868814,0.0,0.0,0.04974637060545034,0.0514524907875584,0.0,0.03972830089014849,0.2893585180710013,0.0,0.0,0.06756688546307253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04926824680536833,0.1389469264045665,0.0,0.20440803633921434,0.08844973529861032,0.04644318517612076,0.05651706645658645,0.14002524693721824,0.0,0.0,0.06056774895370716,0.0,0.04227319395120258,0.0,0.052135075126559634,0.0,0.05423663202135672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05072784222412412,0.0,0.20260432066872394,0.0,0.0,0.0427940838986756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832330792775854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05190401081005015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083889402233701,0.0,0.0,0.05761190064576474,0.0,0.0,0.055882220092530036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22968770706987496,0.08987505034080384,0.0,0.09494088075544957,0.0,0.0,0.18733186580609304,0.0,0.07535762801272224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042256955994705615,0.0,0.0,0.19190946970372452,0.09185492207769196,0.07786572539948786,0.04765665063612093,0.028233736570579895,0.08333682367030189,0.07946571420855933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900530259443055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052488620844235626,0.049832115848848835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636485431398944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992496825026783,0.0,0.05460458934211828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619292284421365,0.0,0.1052693003691472,0.024270663786026003,0.0,0.0,0.08792875326985647,0.0,0.05557812513454407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04700749765628185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730396037148631,0.03683636991770199,0.306524233203088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533673478655616,0.0,0.0,0.1587196310033995,0.2693103616062746,0.07556627911324745,0.05286198861961873,0.0,0.05516268168164008,0.0,0.0,0.17220591484867567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04696273931479245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052839761586058284,0.0,0.0,0.0954769726765294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04242561862747593,0.0945122643717983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041095005482657126,0.0,0.0,0.05064151300597329,0.0,0.07649068598741644,0.0,0.0,0.03516307184513885,0.05295123403903812,0.03967373608070151,0.041533892041392566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037352446562972236,0.07986024209219879,0.04342166032455642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03300453886146136,0.031832315309021884,0.0,0.0788791983534829,0.028968240842210093,0.0,0.04708990990206671,0.0,0.16558568472254592,0.033728799119831517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04099040106046258,0.14650988981058904,0.11829870061193636,0.039849519816361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448278757238846,0.05546486082697898,0.0,0.04788881036905143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587166878273233,0.10863243714925533,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ComplacentLurker,2019/01/19,"Did your mental illness suddenly go away?? If so, how long?

I am in therapy, but it feels weird since it kinda mellowed down. I won’t quit for now cause it may come back. It feels like I don’t have anything to say though.


",0.5765217391304347,2.7130714347826093,2.1066956521739115,96.34482608695652,84.65217391304347,5.419130434782609,20.069565217391304,6.742157984588678,0.14193565217391324,170,5,39,2,5,55,39,46,0.097,0.8320000000000001,0.071,0.224,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,0,9,10,5,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,3,4,1,5,7,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,5,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321709990346376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650727604591819,0.21694246888632215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898277829661985,0.0,0.24303215738151346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853093269379424,0.20155550636991454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603423951295689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783568296415427,0.0,0.0,0.2496783743944261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28432319043866705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300082630210995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243630790609674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233382910210268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32264308903054023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27719373777899203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pupc,2019/01/19,"(UK) Does the NHS do personality disorder tests? Hi. First time here so sorry if I've posted something not allowed.

I recently had a phone assessment for anxiety with a NHS therapist but forgot to really talk about something which *could* potentially be a sign of a personality disorder.

I definitely don't want to self diagnose but I don't want to make a fool of myself by phoning up and asking if they could test me so I thought I'd check here first.

So, does anyone know if it would be possible to ask for a test with the NHS or whether I should go private?

Oh and also would the therapist have been able to pick up on it already if I did have one?

Thank you :)",3.1959090909090904,4.985727378787882,5.0915151515151535,79.93227272727273,74.45454545454545,9.042424242424243,27.90909090909091,9.573946990214177,2.6459454545454544,522,21,105,14,11,179,84,132,0.114,0.805,0.081,0.1787,1,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,2,7,2,0,0,9,0,15,1,0,3,0,27,25,14,0,11,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,3,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,3,5,0,10,1,16,13,0,9,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,5,4,73,13,3,0.14688399974142013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620901462166907,0.11746308152548625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236585776299947,0.0,0.0,0.10270470784230364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746334237515152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345498434673715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908416785363673,0.0,0.0,0.3366835782732399,0.0,0.2570783560150475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24987891028865186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347756199615143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072360490943416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804621040034828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953239961257808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25650688598845145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558963998194534,0.1406742692645745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409765141412332,0.0,0.1450302295268894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323204594033066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22615695820780124,0.0,0.16442461214034054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180597951251314,0.0,0.13523105247416367,0.0,0.3410872895661596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660948869270317,0.08564924145905818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732719773613948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868435821694295,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smollbeanthrowaway,2019/01/19,i wanna watch the world crash and burn am i crazy or normal im too scared to ask my irl friends because i think they might not be my friends anymore coz im crazy,-0.1833333333333336,1.817857333333336,1.0311111111111124,103.70000000000002,86.77777777777777,3.6,20.11111111111111,3.1291,-0.8357555555555556,128,4,32,0,4,40,28,36,0.25,0.601,0.149,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,8,5,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,2,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,0,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27739126561444105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26148553582723066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050499690051804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4321973208814237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6042567575825245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29672180298953554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740505888606792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800325556148825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922306563677848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,freddiebensoninmyass,2019/01/19,"What is wrong with me? This subreddit seems to be the best to ask for help. I have no idea what's wrong with me. 

When I'm around people i feel like everybody's staring at me and thinking about how ugly/disgusting i am, yet i always crave attention. My mood can change at the drop of a hat. I sometimes think incredibly violent thoughts when i get frustrated. I feel suicidal a lot. I am extremely antisocial and hate new situations. I don't know how to handle my problems in any way that doesn't involve crying heavily or eating. Can anyone help? What the hell is wrong with me?",2.242631578947368,4.707304754385966,3.951842105263157,83.6503947368421,80.40350877192982,8.010526315789475,25.28947368421053,8.841846274778883,2.2165578947368423,458,18,90,12,12,153,79,114,0.282,0.608,0.11,-0.9746,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,7,11,4,0,5,0,10,1,0,2,0,20,21,7,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,9,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,1,3,15,2,13,19,2,10,1,0,1,0,4,4,1,3,5,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033290013041824,0.0,0.0,0.11468989987086385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792617764965245,0.0,0.0,0.15013702667331336,0.15766789370347448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17699103651279008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841263043465214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852575247560633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257423839704736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705521622917578,0.12048581727815773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811429038780838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651003224538968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260892525255814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19038883550037544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268733997750857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823953917763473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433828451666339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628862270096399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116922832809627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137825157509375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535354594644055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18957316475362967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680224072481084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844791315819827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161322091689303,0.0,0.13389173260027273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133868990557033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5531871087732143,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fish-o-bot,2019/01/19,"I don't really feel? Hey so I've been through a couple big things through the past years and I've started feeling different.
My dad left and my girlfriend broke up with me in the same month some time ago and now I think it's hitting me but not like I expected because I didn't deal with it

I don't really feel things, unless it's a very large event or something happening, anymore when there's death involved everything really just flies past me.  I'm aware of my feelings but they don't seem to want to be felt, I think this may have to do with me needing to move on quickly?  I'm growing up and everyone around me tells I am but the world just seems to fly past and I don't feel different, I don't feel like I'm making progresses or reaching milestones anymore. There's occurrences where I feel or whatever and realise it's happened after, Its like I'm moving through the world too fast for my emotions. Really wanted to just put this out here, is there something I can do to bring real feelings?",3.428922413793103,4.981090669950742,4.238913177339903,87.26950277093597,73.33497536945814,7.636576354679804,28.451046798029555,8.278499904357787,1.9043795566502455,798,32,163,13,16,256,111,203,0.092,0.879,0.029,-0.9121,2,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,14,4,0,0,6,0,15,0,0,1,0,44,41,15,1,4,11,1,9,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,9,11,0,0,13,0,0,5,7,1,0,0,3,9,21,3,23,35,2,30,0,1,0,0,7,11,0,7,17,102,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015578306776642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22724181415075145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019900220410314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983973473645098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676757665191135,0.0,0.0,0.1181148231019878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23939884901467284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887384772147428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947486149226916,0.10296654525910512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4634331497487638,0.08184757239511277,0.11000347555000227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262462967548067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244787262290442,0.0,0.0,0.1679167626311356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647518875992168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144727483533112,0.2435358122679498,0.0,0.08495089707469229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281050416188305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517272353818025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040373746322687,0.29358138879112977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085972426898738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176400454415216,0.0,0.0,0.08109198880943239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013769014929473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522280935978068,0.14682140219068412,0.0,0.0,0.06680566113651971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453079522540933,0.13515063072208724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377818925364428
mentalhealth,Thom-Bjork,2019/01/19,"I got prescribed Abilify 2mg but scared to take it, not sure if it's needed I had a friends with benefits relationship with a co-worker (stupid I know) that ended a few months ago. We were able to maintain our friendship after that. Recently, however, she revealed something that triggered an episode for me of crippling rumination, anxiety, and depression that lasted an entire week. It was bad enough that I immediately scheduled an appointment with my doctor. I was always a sad kid who struggled with minor depression through adolescence and have been fighting occasional anxiety/panic attacks over the past few years. These feelings are usually triggered by something someone says or does and I am alone to think about it. Otherwise, I'm rather happy go lucky. Which brings me to my concern and reason for posting this. If I am not getting through one of these episodes I'm melancholy at the worst (and also somewhat disassociated) but certainly not experiencing anything that would require a serious drug like Abilify. In the midst of an attack I would absolutely accept treatment but I'm scared to begin the medication as I'm feeling fine today. Or perhaps I just perfectly described mood swings and Abilify is the right prescription. Idk what to do.",7.325090909090909,9.361974372727275,7.31159090909091,67.13238636363637,64.36363636363636,10.227272727272727,39.65909090909091,10.411451182825502,4.826818181818182,1022,57,151,26,16,327,149,220,0.224,0.629,0.147,-0.9678,1,1,3,0,2,0,24.0,2,0,0,2,4,24,4,3,14,0,13,3,0,3,3,41,28,15,0,6,12,0,2,1,1,2,3,1,0,1,16,11,0,1,7,0,0,2,3,13,0,1,6,4,16,10,24,20,5,20,0,3,0,0,9,4,0,6,14,108,32,2,0.14241147551491634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623918042723292,0.0,0.0,0.14749533957961794,0.0,0.11388640551742965,0.11849775597385365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089443889715612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719251010466382,0.0,0.0,0.3240272251726931,0.0,0.0,0.11890763352364893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453175903668364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457641796804268,0.12462524191710138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515209894618035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613429734083564,0.14714912319391882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401504201281104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100267527158852,0.0,0.07440411813965321,0.0,0.08093572340886808,0.0,0.11389946650515224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515996638162553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826562256116103,0.11608435995109455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957505345510435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346457913417904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136714810712776,0.0,0.0,0.10559630460505642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650170144686236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594786757332675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639082737547056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642271542708746,0.14061415142255992,0.15289662869611478,0.0,0.1216186219666562,0.0,0.11325132130754692,0.2851574617464071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066478106108293,0.2192706228931484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887939505456174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422113030222424,0.0,0.10707570626041132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125152318660866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498942705138048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15684612053796662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423389553028465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036772502873464,0.0,0.0,0.2023300524419044,0.0,0.0,0.09170832108797412
mentalhealth,jogoda,2019/01/19,"Trust issues/depression/psychedelics I've been depressed without treatment for a few years now. I've also had bad trust issues. Some months ago I've had an eye-opening bad trip on acid that made me realise how inconsiderate and ignorant I am to people, and that all I do is leave people behind. Since then I don't even know if my own personality is true or if I fake all my life. I avoid people, because I feel I drain them from energy and I drag them down. Also all I hear from peoples mouths are mean mocking subliminal comments, even though after confrontation they say it's not true. I can't take a joke. Symbolism had taken over my life, I can't even watch a tv show without posing myself as the bad guy (the strongest is Walter White from Breaking Bad). I started to judge because I am unable to trust. I don't know what to do and I don't know who I am. I am scared of making my own decision because I don't want to hurt people. Did anyone have similar experiences? What do I'm going crazy pls help",2.654455391351941,4.602696024630543,4.154146141215108,85.36638067870827,76.4384236453202,6.678598795840178,24.0856595511768,7.594959193182576,1.1591173508483856,795,26,159,11,18,264,120,203,0.193,0.677,0.13,-0.8843,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,0,8,18,2,2,6,0,23,3,1,3,5,28,37,13,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,6,4,0,2,6,3,0,2,9,12,0,0,7,6,27,6,18,30,7,13,0,2,2,0,10,3,0,4,7,104,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436405384570075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20634657114866573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021031982498516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43088869737401575,0.2359391234729938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112046996448244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556396630915527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262014709120436,0.0,0.0,0.06523388366275767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332222372362418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277451791328029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454093332289789,0.0,0.08647606572951888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811327496176398,0.0,0.0,0.1346581887322039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270988553378647,0.0,0.0,0.13660830527951967,0.0,0.0,0.18225428465931812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207715586016905,0.08611854493976835,0.0,0.0,0.14053520701452432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297857874203796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4472139415022754,0.11265096171569128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025979427645192,0.1291665677775356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672257915244336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913175135070755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700325837738437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675662752695666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609641672161352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487318006215769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308145961902437
mentalhealth,TommyPJS,2019/01/19,"Need to vent I've always had suicidal thoughts but this chain of events has done me over good time. It all started earlier this month when I was hit by a car, I had ligament damage in my leg and pretty shook up. Two days later I tried to jump of a bridge brought back home by the police, I'm 16 btw and live in my own flat. I have another attempt the next night trying to overdose on pills. Since then I've been having thoughts again and I tried to get help but I saw a mental health team and they said someone would see me soon. I've been waiting two weeks. Things are getting worse but I'm not getting any help whatsoever. Its not like its me it's like someone takes over.",1.4343571428571416,3.541902864285717,2.385714285714286,95.76928571428572,81.07142857142857,5.428571428571429,21.42857142857143,6.5431188927421005,0.19085714285714284,531,16,119,5,14,167,96,140,0.122,0.775,0.103,-0.2216,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,4,5,0,1,5,0,11,3,1,0,1,15,27,9,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,1,0,7,4,0,1,2,1,0,4,2,2,0,2,11,3,12,3,14,14,2,24,0,1,2,0,5,6,0,0,16,67,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290105959258647,0.0,0.0,0.108616077934967,0.16748188959764262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228159528281485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300713591017514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345051980457476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503436303298541,0.0,0.0,0.13396679264686795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16977645565492636,0.0,0.0,0.214115871582651,0.0,0.16021365914996966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606368659731346,0.0,0.1410369858691882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096167672527864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748815499227495,0.0,0.0,0.11843144754715915,0.0,0.0,0.1698655973041816,0.14988778149415113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16249415776858653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193169557042707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272773338491212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212325202355735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27066296955131885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305167985142076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17470936635087275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200906692424888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611184874411166,0.0,0.0,0.2536020151614672,0.0931348746769156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32532118496312945,0.0,0.3120493391034369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811893046070424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627698251937242,0.11346155096340342,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrkaido,2019/01/19,"University is my one chance to escape from my lonely life. Ive recently applied for university again. It's honestly the best I've felt in a long long time thinking about all the new opportunities, friends, and experiences ill have if I get in; my first experience at university ended badly after A lot of awful things happened one after another. My mental health took a nose dive and I had to drop out.

Because of that, it's entirely possible that I won't get funding this time around. My family doesn't believe that ill get in. They keep telling me to think of other careers to choose from because some people aren't the best fit for university.

It feels like my last chance at a career, at finding a way out of where I am, escaping my life. I'm 24, my friends All moved far away and lost contact. I wake up, work, and go to sleep, I haven't had a friend in 2 years now. My life has no substance. Whilst it doesn't sound like much, it has slowly worn me down. Honestly I don't think I can keep it up anymore. 

If I can't go to university then I don't know what to do. ",3.0871775499190486,4.494294064220185,4.7295250944414455,83.99434700485699,73.95412844036696,8.065191581219645,26.584997301672963,8.671277953709913,1.804139989206692,838,30,178,16,17,283,124,218,0.122,0.723,0.155,0.8106,0,2,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,6,5,13,0,0,9,1,18,9,3,0,2,23,36,7,0,2,2,0,2,2,3,1,6,1,0,0,13,7,0,2,8,0,1,4,9,3,0,3,6,4,23,10,32,29,7,39,0,2,0,0,6,17,0,4,18,115,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308000128707029,0.0,0.0,0.1237078488028414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104440679812846,0.0,0.0,0.1171966611349799,0.0,0.10415208968894474,0.1520798164280781,0.0,0.0,0.14053845440268972,0.2618123602635874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104819788283984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440379057963298,0.1175930930861194,0.0,0.0630719287222728,0.0891137676274421,0.11976927197121427,0.0,0.11400944344806332,0.10610316912051697,0.0,0.0,0.28911977837240604,0.0,0.1955133784787696,0.0,0.14178441658825086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030653467234347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325920231623614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221748009641348,0.0,0.0,0.06855344689817518,0.10167916315234332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643211305060767,0.1218826242324965,0.0,0.0,0.22078067762184966,0.0,0.0,0.13616766102091854,0.10604887641208932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570785675953292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257811532051209,0.09169772458793084,0.0,0.0,0.12047397537203125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905313084429374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647851165158052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406247974694148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316499182186315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482936671694668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902763013708996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287123589784982,0.23978368450064924,0.0,0.0,0.145472956338359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385899314995156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901223551879687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908116825694229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803280075477875
mentalhealth,strugglegalusk,2019/01/19,"Any advice on helping someone who does not believe they need help? My sister was diagnosed with Stress Induced Psychosis / Schizophrenia / so many other things over the course of two weeks, a few years back. This came about after a traumatic trip to the ER after which she was taken into custody by the state and admitted to a psych ward against her will. Needless to say, none of this ended well and she does not believe she has a diagnosis at all. She was given medication that seemed to help her come out of her psychosis but once she went back home she discontinued the use of her medication and stopped seeking treatment for her mental health. Fast forward nine years - she is now facing an eviction today, has not had a job in over a year, has seen countless relationships fall apart, and has nowhere left to turn. She is experience some pretty extreme paranoia, depression, anxiety, you name it. It is all suuuuper scary. She has very real material needs (food, shelter, a job, etc.) but can't seem to secure these. She needs professional psychiatric care, in my (extremely unprofessional and inexperienced) opinion. I have tried to urge her to seek this care but she is in denial of needing it at all. She is also still very traumatized by her past experience with psychiatric care. And I don't blame her! She is very resistant to even talking about this and whenever I bring it up she gets angry and defensive and accuses me of being ""part of the problem"" or part of whatever current paranoia is playing out. But how can I help? Does anyone have any advice on how to talk to her about this? How to help her see that she must put her mental health first, before anything else, if she is to succeed in becoming stable again? Any advice is so appreciated.",5.4443788819875785,7.411835276397523,5.8139453416149065,76.32018509316771,68.90683229813665,8.630260869565218,30.89242236024845,9.174902378510234,2.8397782360248454,1397,58,242,28,25,447,184,322,0.13,0.732,0.139,0.3344,5,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,1,2,16,11,1,1,13,0,26,7,1,5,4,48,47,21,0,7,9,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,1,0,16,16,1,3,4,1,0,8,6,4,2,3,9,3,36,7,46,35,9,43,0,1,2,0,42,17,0,6,19,180,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538090098829339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923638198936738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662799265019,0.0,0.06623192027321326,0.0,0.0,0.06053733898282961,0.0,0.07124630335845926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314625008183806,0.0,0.0,0.0956185805014735,0.07367148704418547,0.19508747871946575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902214829177644,0.2648160723756469,0.0,0.0,0.0745792665003818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456949017830752,0.08787483062788337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272949299528782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723247956281788,0.0,0.07668239552361669,0.0,0.09655733726945566,0.05718394145316485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937976141878405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364318839225321,0.1046904411045165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045233422915526525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840566954218833,0.0,0.0,0.2901569862032246,0.0,0.0868447764174294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183057850640646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406723221198222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877764861449678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443641947866487,0.1745004876756043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567859104546893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220272664691964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875110379673632,0.08264848159165274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808093439362699,0.0,0.08284343743491633,0.0,0.08703478624626686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854469936246484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295235319083406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885028732994708,0.0,0.0,0.06899144342485072,0.1576346887642653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335724431947174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914128932480833,0.07238307076948472,0.09917478738823007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917620697012809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05751856507313414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206580489911804,0.0,0.0,0.058780767553096434,0.094171984369455,0.08457410944056114,0.0,0.0,0.07477557974616474,0.0,0.21430771028191456,0.0,0.0,0.06944763592400699,0.0,0.07784400461161943,0.08025865793475895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726014808182094
mentalhealth,cohendavidson,2019/01/19,"How I Fight Anxiety Hi guys, I am an 18 year old male who has had a rough time in the past with anxiety. I am not too much motivated here to tell my story, but the steps I took to begin overcoming this monster. It has been a rough journey and I am still fighting every day. I am not perfect, but so much better than I was. In this video, I shared the multiple things I had done to make it where I am today. I know when I was deep in the pits, I would always search the internet to find something where someone had some success. I know everyone is very different, however, if you are having a rough time, please consider this video. This is not so much my experience, but the process of coming to be better. I really hope this helps someone, hopefully save some unnecessary time spent in pain.

[https://youtu.be/KjT\_HRgD\_RY](https://youtu.be/KjT_HRgD_RY)",5.933273878020714,7.333367183544303,5.69536248561565,79.81287111622557,67.03797468354429,9.542922899884926,28.920598388952822,9.800150414767053,2.6439417721518983,677,23,126,15,11,210,97,158,0.101,0.696,0.204,0.973,2,0,1,0,3,0,35.0,0,1,0,5,9,11,2,0,10,0,20,1,0,3,1,23,29,9,0,4,7,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,9,3,0,0,4,2,1,4,3,3,0,0,9,3,18,8,12,18,5,22,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,5,11,91,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289661023276276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23713754071811055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741563848187608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351223830976425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995728304192186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193408128356876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861104890541128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305877912302482,0.1481018909853657,0.0,0.15161231889616356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14166025594112325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346685499116286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388814614852664,0.0,0.0,0.30788487256195823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703595516219786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345863803268664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.341811767731217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16263846305734747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492285332760695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795779427715894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013512418440174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929210744227934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26264913413378155,0.1193207304099498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377713982117147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547019898321105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029700710081488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711319642147659,0.0,0.1469146830603057,0.0,0.1722022717883693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788497138424934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010216198918753,0.0,0.0,0.09981003120714173
mentalhealth,throwawaymyyear,2019/01/19,"Anxiety is killing my hopes of studying I can stomach a rigorous study schedule throughout the semester, but as soon as it comes down to studying for a final I claim up. As soon as I start reviewing my notes, I’m overcome with anxiety about how little I know and how much there is to do. I can’t focus on anything and don’t get anything done. I’ve been trying to study for the last few weeks with no success. My final is in a week, I don’t know what I’m going to do or how to fix this. ",4.446282051282047,3.976308500000002,5.806538461538462,84.3051282051282,69.76923076923077,8.856410256410255,31.756410256410252,8.344100000000001,2.1829410256410253,380,15,84,5,6,129,64,104,0.105,0.825,0.07,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,3,1,0,5,0,11,1,1,3,0,13,20,11,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,0,9,2,19,18,2,16,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,9,60,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307482010302009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557889695581239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621654126438994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221223172552584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4736206323410703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294307332501892,0.0,0.12285784136872295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147116129650054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23916679037492214,0.0,0.23760942724062675,0.1762123482632472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21666521188228466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891428370458033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301053376295445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146769360175293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468068048293549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SammyHoods,2019/01/19,"I had a panic attack while in the cinema Title says all. Had to walk out during one of the last scenes of Bohemian Rhapsody.

That was awkward, but I didn't feel as bad afterwards as other times when I have a panic attack outdoors. I'm so glad this isn't a frequent thing anymore. I hope the credits weren't really interesting, hahah. ",4.0813636363636405,5.566228045454547,5.8276969696969685,76.79154545454547,71.57575757575758,8.31030303030303,26.83636363636364,8.841846274778883,2.237949090909091,265,9,47,5,5,91,51,66,0.221,0.573,0.206,0.2173,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,10,2,3,6,0,7,0,0,0,1,5,10,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,6,0,1,5,2,4,4,7,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,6,34,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437489700394754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5592233388318776,0.0,0.0,0.20521708876855227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427439174824685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441162518959384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20034453377618028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665477450461446,0.0,0.0,0.5767427124733522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745377101488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19545512570733647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163286150324969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331703129275553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shagbarksghost,2019/01/19,"Abilify and weight gain Has anyone else experienced major weight gain with Abilify? 
What’s sad is that Abilify is like my miracle drug. Abilify has done amazing things for my mood stability, but I’ve gained between 30 and 40 pounds (and I was already overweight when I started). 
I’m at my heaviest weight ever, and I cry almost every day because even though my diet is better now than it was this time last year, I can’t stop gaining weight. It’s starting to have a negative impact on my mental health, so we’ve come full circle here.
Can anyone help?",4.745943396226417,6.373122415094342,5.719009433962263,77.65983490566039,70.1320754716981,8.69622641509434,29.287735849056602,9.188382445141503,2.6571924528301887,440,17,78,9,8,145,79,106,0.139,0.653,0.208,0.7587,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,5,7,5,0,0,1,0,11,8,0,0,1,10,15,8,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,6,6,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,5,9,3,7,12,2,14,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,11,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782405094837114,0.0,0.16290668788989165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20644418153490213,0.151258171175538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999018318514285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056137775506388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716495216705515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215796540557198,0.0952052282074967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107054381357024,0.0,0.0,0.17119690205819646,0.0,0.1233208585727015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750421961549012,0.13353430470273134,0.1243795358060552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691734424091053,0.0,0.0,0.09894921471581128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033321361245458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212159995574044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487702092664214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20897796806778668,0.0,0.0,0.12342022339491597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807478565380244,0.0,0.14503977080834676,0.0,0.0860807061505384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7190647516563965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950649768510414
mentalhealth,yipee2,2019/01/19,"Camhs Ok so I have been struggling with mental health just like generaly for a while I was self harming and still do a bit but my parents found out like 6 or 7 months ago they ignored it till like October when I went to the GP and got a referral for camhs (child and adolescent mental health services) and I didn't hear anything about it untill a few days ago and I saw a letter with camhs written on it but I didn't get a chance to properly read it and when I got back the letter was nowhere to be seen so I assumed that my mum had thought I didn't need an appointment anymore and chucked the letter but today I saw on our shared Google calendar ""camhs"" for midday on Friday. So I know ive rambled on a bit but Im basically wondering if the parent goes alone to the appointment or if she's planning to tell me Friday morning or like what because I feel like she's doing things behind my back but I do want help and I need help and I feel like my mum would just deny that I need help because if she Denys it she can pretend it's not happening but yea and I'm too shy to ask her about it so plz don't even suggest it ",1.994495798319328,3.5276112647058864,3.478731092436977,91.31700420168067,77.10924369747899,6.6087394957983205,24.50504201680673,7.365786028017652,0.9372010084033616,883,30,197,11,20,291,125,238,0.08,0.765,0.155,0.9573,2,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,1,1,15,11,0,1,13,2,16,2,0,0,0,41,38,31,0,8,15,4,2,6,0,1,2,1,0,2,12,13,0,1,7,2,0,1,5,3,0,0,16,6,29,8,21,20,3,19,0,0,3,0,24,5,0,8,19,128,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149661217920231,0.0,0.0,0.12558106375739778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024993831350668,0.0,0.0,0.09978050916923344,0.0,0.1133547571638527,0.0,0.0,0.18647143782741232,0.0,0.14782884611752922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647527394536745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819785743359771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008615921857447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261785507651625,0.1732456778415494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294715180473132,0.0,0.0,0.06334944772180408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19395346599946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072232208246218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25777156034049137,0.13666042513135618,0.0,0.24381906533482298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097355041779538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663722504642307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554271985313849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24438808316760197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678262074242903,0.0,0.0,0.2697216664393988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692731931635144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128535282368168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649284358776572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683243520349648,0.0,0.0,0.1267594817286915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598006452563713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805547998863239,0.0,0.0,0.09626097285028268,0.0,0.0,0.11493323038836263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151788973388977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240231950951804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314932075211046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861343256273828,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OnAvance,2019/01/19,"SSRI induced depression and anhedonia? I’ve been on SSRIs since I was 16 for panic attacks. I was never told how hard it was to get off of them nor any extra information. They were just shoved at me by my GP. I’ve been through three SSRIs (low-ish doses) over the years and am now on Lexapro. 

I’m now 22 and feeling the worst I ever have in my entire life. I don’t care for my future. I don’t care for friends. I have zero. I have absolutely no desire for social interaction or achievements or anything. I can literally sit in a room for hours and do nothing. 

I don’t have much emotion but it’s not nonexistent. I still feel stressed about the state that my life and my mind is in, but don’t care enough to fix it. I’ve kind of just been waiting for death but I can’t do that forever. 

Has anyone experienced anything similar or did I develop schizoid or another personality disorder? I am a completely different person. I am dysfunctional and don’t feel human. ",1.9177461139896368,4.256508481865281,4.131012953367875,82.63299611398966,80.76165803108809,7.383316062176168,25.712176165803108,8.395991825355821,1.9677546113989641,759,31,151,17,20,261,116,193,0.123,0.7979999999999999,0.079,-0.8798,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,1,8,10,1,2,5,0,26,3,0,2,2,27,36,15,1,1,10,0,4,0,1,0,3,0,1,3,5,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,10,5,0,2,9,5,22,5,21,27,4,19,0,1,0,0,10,9,0,4,8,109,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330518514546004,0.1592926935159199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622021319497728,0.0,0.25002081886143185,0.0,0.0,0.17282152267820194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.464652396980581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592765578466489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084134977963247,0.0,0.0,0.1587154242725801,0.1741040027023031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17088024861389384,0.0,0.15696542485022333,0.0,0.0,0.13741285619104926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304334041926984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736662516282742,0.0,0.07936760859258403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13608307087753138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960245299513567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819268917698265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21459949382475252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338754134713606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167260016504313,0.0,0.11716369063630072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576340126956835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823568303032966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652869248945027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566295222412752,0.0,0.0,0.15485487724567368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131690318829187,0.0,0.17401437256652855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515816730482692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097826172996656
mentalhealth,pattymeltjones22,2019/01/19,"What are some techniques y’all used to help treat your anxiety? How do y’all deal with your anxiety? I’ve been having it since I was little and I still get the weird “out of body” feeling and sometimes it can make it hard to swallow food when I’m in a crowded place or somewhere that isn’t familiar. I tried medication but what they prescribed me had weird side effects on my body and I’d rather not use something that makes me feel unlike myself, plus it didn’t really seem to help my anxiety. I will admit my anxiety is way better than it used to be. I used to have panic attacks a lot while I was in high school and my anxiety was more of a constant thing than an occasional occurrence. I don’t really do anything to treat my anxiety at the moment besides sometimes mediate and try to keep a positive, relaxed mind. I’m just curious some of the techniques y’all use or things y’all do that help keep you stay calm and stay in a good mind state. Thanks in advance!",4.04954081632653,5.155234260204086,5.101632653061227,83.42193877551021,71.1938775510204,8.661224489795918,29.306122448979593,9.04235418022936,2.3292183673469387,769,30,156,15,14,253,114,196,0.11,0.682,0.208,0.9783,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,7,1,3,5,11,1,1,9,0,18,5,2,9,0,35,35,13,0,1,6,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,9,2,2,5,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,6,3,23,7,21,27,4,21,0,0,0,0,14,11,0,6,5,103,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4779063045326008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568138899691202,0.0,0.0,0.11845084084646915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208514204877873,0.0,0.2313063474559412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125160748790573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734252244752164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529178720624766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590158346046107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439808553978675,0.0,0.0,0.08733040704442646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327052510946522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20936710341279735,0.11000785539084992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850922012182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435498506005053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851858469249768,0.0,0.0,0.13900100682624975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488933466051496,0.0,0.0,0.21026181191299573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216167405895782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878260513534092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340309873416756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537438451440914,0.0,0.09478638505259744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612863793541277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015619564306689,0.20595348425870805,0.0,0.0,0.2219548390962637,0.08314988184834092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585914831041442,0.0,0.0,0.13834459659696174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138046671458454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4496286286929195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264512790599474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TCSpectre,2019/01/19,"Been in a dark place most of my life thanks to GAD and social anxiety, decided to try and stream to overcome my fesr of interacting with people. Hello, people. My name is Tim and i’ve been depressed and even suicidal during almost my entire life, i’ve been bullied, beaten and abused. Today I live with my loving girlfriend but my mental health still affects me (taking ssri for anxiety). Today i’m also here to promote my twitch channel, this because my dream is to have this as a living, to overcome some of the anxiety. Not only this, but if I grow I can also be able to do charity for mental health awareness. Which for me is extremly important, everybody should get the help they need. I love you all and if you need someone to talk to I’m always here to listen, no matter the issue. Stay strong my friends. 

Link: https://m.twitch.tv/tcspectre",4.621422351233669,6.66778142767296,5.284402515723271,78.9603918722787,71.2012578616352,7.659603289791969,26.69617803580068,8.384062270229773,2.040299080793421,673,23,114,11,13,217,99,159,0.097,0.71,0.193,0.9666,0,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,0,2,1,3,6,7,1,0,5,0,11,7,0,1,1,25,21,13,1,5,5,0,0,0,2,1,5,1,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,1,18,5,20,16,3,7,0,1,0,2,14,2,0,5,3,79,22,2,0.1421772197550359,0.16845675641869431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236994812782547,0.0,0.0,0.22739814254177504,0.11830283641579545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32629555186931664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666991352142665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245703104069147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390671274290624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984576729689813,0.0,0.07428172917366561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302255472186148,0.0,0.0,0.09529839343463303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839607862289864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008479499858017,0.0,0.0,0.2510901797022266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25664098359638154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865623941482106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21084521385469807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813218237459826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19713556479334027,0.0,0.1485449337653451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493177074078026,0.1204662969159249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154199897783593,0.11354291135417352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551880211546126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689957508247026,0.11427666366173285,0.0,0.13089768183853562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695347599636418,0.0,0.0,0.0965289994558546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Robot_with_human,2019/01/19,"What can I do in my toxic work environment? Hi thanks in advance,

I have been working at my job in (Finance) for 3 years and my supervisor, every time I ask him a question on a project, will call me out in front of the team, reprimand me for asking a question and/or condescendingly, in a aggressive way, explain things to me in a very hostile and negative manner. Here is a short list of things he has said to me in an **open office** setting wherein everybody can hear:

1. ""Okay, how many times have I told you, not to interrupt me while I'm thinking"" after I politely ask him a question.
2. ""How have you been here for three years and still don't know how to run analyses"" after I ask him what areas should our analysis focus on.
3. ""You cannot use prior work as a template for the current ask. this looks terrible, where did you even get this information from?"" after he reviews my work. 
4. ""Can you come here i have a question for you."" I walk over to his desk. He makes me wait for about 2-3 minutes and the says, ""never mind, I found the answer"": he has done this about 3 to four times   
I know that there are certain personalities and traits that come with people in finance field but we work on the same floor with upper management and this is what hurts me the most; I see how upper management and my coworkers look at me every time he ridicules me and/or treats me that way. I feel helpless and angry at the same time and completely isolate myself from coworkers feeling shameful and embarrassed. It has even carried over into my personal life in which I am super quiet around my wife and kids and don't wan't to do anything with them. I grew up in a very masculine (factory working household) environment where violence and yelling was the answer to everything so im used to dealing with angry people and hurtful comments. And I have thick skin and rarely have petty incidents like these affect me but have a family to provide for. But over the last 6 months or so I have let it get to me and for some reason am unable to shake the anger and the shame I feel because of my supervisor. I brought it up to the director of our department through two different emails after two separate occasions and she said she has spoken with my supervisor and/or will ""take-care of it."" And since then, the director has left and for about the last year and a half, I've been dealing with his pompous A-hole. I have also spoken to him on multiple occasions but he still continues to treat me this way. 

I know i can get another job but this job pays me well and the health care insurance is the best I've ever had ( my wife has a medical condition with expensive drugs for treatment), so leaving will be a financial mistake on my part and out of the realm of possibilities. 

I'm so angry at myself for setting myself up and placing myself in situations where he can do this to me. I always blame myself. I have tried to avoid dealing with him through headphones, going to other coworkers with questions and ignoring his snide comments but here we are. I am mad and have not talked to any of my coworkers for five days since the last incident. 

​

I've also gone to HR but HR sides with him cause upper management loves the work product that he provides and tells HR to tell me to ""lighten-up""

​

I'm sorry for this long rant and vent but any advice would be greatly appreciated.",4.752481247925656,5.918997711450384,5.564482243611021,80.52945818121478,69.59541984732824,8.871224692997014,30.11699303020245,9.20300075937882,2.5502253567872555,2651,104,511,52,46,866,289,655,0.125,0.812,0.063,-0.9923,5,1,1,0,1,0,77.0,4,6,1,11,28,28,5,5,34,1,51,6,1,10,3,100,90,51,0,3,11,2,5,1,0,5,4,6,0,3,24,48,0,3,18,1,4,12,7,16,1,6,13,14,79,12,95,69,6,88,0,3,3,1,65,44,0,8,28,363,103,22,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541198145553159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070621315648052,0.05569858089104976,0.0,0.0,0.09104158268527143,0.07019134086768808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05508506427185049,0.05958987035209585,0.31289447888567035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04080537149698407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024831351049339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835216705107819,0.0,0.06824873562743948,0.068764755800009,0.0,0.11532398159246306,0.0701842307847525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043170094425404336,0.2070333995753986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993697074350126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850180146740589,0.0,0.0,0.07762794718669751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842510956440566,0.06055012578178665,0.11279792940851448,0.0,0.0601604251063385,0.0,0.06310409838149447,0.0,0.1015390553325972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339511957693239,0.0,0.0,0.10491853855215054,0.0,0.03804295617428529,0.0,0.0,0.07380044475394355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115298913101467,0.07544507804636813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331909207397656,0.0,0.07230556851980167,0.0,0.1992797804527246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036371296785737,0.16369257104788798,0.0,0.07087869825636099,0.07272938086628307,0.06844962652662892,0.047280970296296465,0.03270299687129353,0.0,0.0,0.05923887719825086,0.11242374245987456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041502899626616,0.0,0.04468227864018319,0.0678656035882408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067433964468227,0.0,0.0,0.06758927206210755,0.0,0.05343004288495545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162745613280143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248837547504282,0.0,0.09281409926261584,0.11689704381293432,0.06993697074350126,0.0,0.0,0.07546362478864985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749348001016874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688244042469656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734856834980166,0.053232551359525385,0.0,0.0,0.05334168814548618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107452064412761,0.07524220080957059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493269046258462,0.0,0.0,0.10691508714868546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05032977069985817,0.05380300411861021,0.11701521097728892,0.06162840504271393,0.0,0.0,0.0889425473188993,0.042891785619655856,0.0,0.0,0.1951632427488688,0.0,0.0,0.06396304925312671,0.0,0.0454471629541264,0.0,0.13077928354621587,0.0,0.0,0.11562754619165246,0.0,0.11046331237180107,0.0,0.15939910297046303,0.0,0.0,0.06018616819507101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34112654412425203,0.0,0.0,0.04755151985794713,0.0,0.0,0.12931949550912933
mentalhealth,wgvn,2019/01/19,what is this called? I am always worrying about something and my stomach pretty much hurts like shit 24/7 due to the anxiety. When I have NOTHING to worry about my brain tries to find something to worry about. Any way to end this cycle? its been going on for a few years now.,1.99722222222222,4.5400105740740795,2.7792592592592613,91.1666666666667,82.14814814814815,5.0814814814814815,20.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.2442444444444449,217,6,42,2,6,68,43,54,0.173,0.665,0.163,-0.165,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,2,0,4,3,3,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,10,4,2,8,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,6,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696195300657398,0.0,0.0,0.13862499030023215,0.0,0.1559446920221237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275640172195021,0.2081536417751328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055059409602295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863152069268849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158526527132887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21822564110374615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959081312862553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985320526634896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955995728449723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20738873537674424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20924909557546448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138673783878605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840076892046527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618066415470382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6210587102801429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131272716501842
mentalhealth,soverylostttt,2019/01/19,"I don’t know what to do anymore. My sister has been going through a rough period over the past few weeks, and she doesn’t have many people to rely on for support. I love her dearly; she’s my best friend, but she’s tearing me down slowly. It’s been a very rough few weeks. I don’t know how to help her. She’s in a very negative headspace and I’m her crutch. I listen to her, I’m sympathetic, I offer advice, look for activities for us to do, but she’s just so negative and depressive. She won’t consider seeking professional help. I’m starting to lose my mind and I don’t know how much longer I can do it. 
How do I help her and myself?",-0.2869852941176489,1.9017142720588247,2.2800000000000007,92.96500000000002,90.10294117647058,5.552941176470588,18.294117647058822,7.048011613610866,0.2189970588235295,495,14,113,8,17,170,72,136,0.128,0.69,0.182,0.5894,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,4,0,14,1,0,3,0,15,26,11,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,2,4,25,5,14,23,4,10,0,2,1,1,20,4,0,0,5,78,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18894793230911355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917599226080752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20291807847211504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653960774325555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493884903334256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989023338092996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38881288219111976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187947361204681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237265106153753,0.2163189816070504,0.0,0.0,0.17451382078984998,0.0,0.0,0.1960354232905395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19523721676425967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421409291365378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18458280554067116,0.1340506108710842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686031821516534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219421217699368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23258676819552826,0.0,0.0,0.3190824372574101,0.0,0.0,0.3102014515004708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arayafuckingflowers,2019/01/19,"I cant control my over reactions and its ruining my life. Could just use some advice or talk to someone that can relate I am 25F, I have always suffered from depression, anxiety. But my over reactions are only something I do to the person i am in a relationship with, when i was younger i never noticed it. But now i am older and i am slowly pushing away someone i love so much. I get upset about social media mostly (he has never done anything to wrong me)  I am a jealous person and I freak out to my BF about these things, i can feel that I am losing him and its because I dont know how to control my mind or my mouth. Sorry this isn't that interesting it's my first time posting on here.",2.31434731934732,3.919980475524476,4.488269230769231,84.10881410256412,76.4125874125874,6.724708624708625,25.90268065268065,7.492282038375204,1.4090051282051284,540,20,108,7,12,187,93,143,0.202,0.769,0.03,-0.9658,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,9,10,1,1,3,0,18,3,1,4,2,23,23,11,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,10,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,8,0,1,2,1,25,2,15,20,3,15,0,4,0,1,9,6,0,4,7,91,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027254578686945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364727555637976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547023227548498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496951612274094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409651664184582,0.0,0.0,0.09998138912894132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679112103424606,0.13095180300274592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126498544419785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16784322792043185,0.192223142367603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293038743476734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139510192592443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569052590374206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901377843745374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584791208033288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834896707282608,0.0,0.0,0.14802900455785348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560734685341402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056913401917713,0.0,0.2529953578161873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867309832181918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474000912304588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28642133122958363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708003828919576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608961505716353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719157985542588,0.2779369961156368,0.12626596121795367,0.0,0.1836002028353524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182821020233534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896358870629816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563786041444504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416554030229413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793235204918438,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChatNoir33,2019/01/19,"Family member won’t let his daughter go to Disney world because he feels disrespected. Can someone help me understand his actions because I can’t? Sorry this is long...My brother is refusing to let his 12 year old daughter go on an all expenses paid trip to Disney because he doesn’t like the way I talked to him when we were trying to choose dates. I got mad at him because every date he would choose I was unable to go (I’m taking her so it’s pretty important i can go) and then when he finally proposed a date that worked he immediately changed his mind because she would be gone for Father’s Day (He doesn’t even celebrate Christmas why would he even care about Fathers Day). I cut the trip a day short  so we’d be back the day before and he still wouldn’t commit so I said if you can’t commit to a date it’s too much money to waste I’m going to have to cancel the trip and tell her it’s your fault. Yes I got upset but I don’t think it was unwarranted after all the back and forth and I’m certainly not taking the fall for him if I have to tell niece we’re not going. He hasn’t spoken to me since. If I walk into a room he walks out of it. He has also stopped speaking to my father because my father said he didn’t see the point of punishing the child because he’s mad at me. This was October. My brother didn’t come to Thanksgiving or Christmas and hasn’t spoken to us since. I know this isn’t normal behavior. I can’t wrap my head around a parent punishing his child over something so trivial and she didn’t even do anything here. I know he thinks he’s punishing me but it’s like it doesn’t even occur to him that his daughter is going to be devastated because she thought she was going to Disney this year. Also, my brother hates Disney so he never plans on taking her himself and he let me take her a few years ago. Is this a mental health issue or something? Why is he acting like this? ",2.061126304426054,3.8364287506297288,3.784344008636201,88.13358690176321,77.6146095717884,6.350744872256207,22.929758906081325,7.2259226712905225,0.8153292407340769,1502,46,314,18,35,503,173,397,0.123,0.809,0.067,-0.9756,1,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,3,2,0,2,20,14,7,1,16,1,41,2,1,0,6,45,73,25,0,8,9,11,1,3,0,5,1,3,1,2,15,13,0,2,9,0,3,18,18,9,0,0,15,5,48,5,32,46,4,54,0,0,1,0,63,12,0,5,26,192,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737378848110164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304494885287338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845361148231427,0.07405168510347672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792722209842244,0.0,0.4056671380918716,0.0,0.07078373352332314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848119629986043,0.0,0.0879979857079333,0.07165593010443476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21458803111257047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21976984779506206,0.0,0.07008638128870949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841877813249662,0.0,0.0420604939886931,0.0,0.0,0.09112436171517437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37820454978378143,0.0,0.13306020702557295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212729895893864,0.08537111584293526,0.08842104730499188,0.0,0.0,0.05575669941078132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868228230436117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143185881825322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25518482381572605,0.0,0.12191897776974295,0.0,0.0,0.07361550972084155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383023415769897,0.0,0.0839924547837243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061150049981673026,0.0,0.06415687937648461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150297652300513,0.0,0.0,0.08728795568606451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923663484025444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863607441209193,0.0,0.0,0.08462836354673359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825468365843512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628713689252844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376218660261016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048180839353121,0.1280787143786529,0.0,0.09311804112519684,0.0,0.0,0.06643110917648411,0.06954582021500574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25017703909570616,0.06686040924524775,0.14541353260894158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066023128919553,0.0,0.06603906204995243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05647669612368932,0.0,0.0,0.08659781568827589,0.10006050042468984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602784505264063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15012182913496672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055917911807088,0.0,0.0,0.17727527282270245,0.0,0.0,0.1607039334470662
mentalhealth,Juno56,2019/01/19,"My mentality is fucked and I desperately want to fix it. Alright, this has been ruining my life for years and has prevented me almost completely from having any kind of fun or joy in my life. It's the fact that I want to be better than others at something. 

I've been playing Keyboard for years, self taught, I write rap songs, and I sing, everyone seems to think I'm very skilled in these areas and that I have a lot of musical talent, and I'm happy. It's nice to know that I actually have some kind of talent in me that I can enjoy. 

BUT I want to be good at something else, preferably a game. But here's the massive problem with my mindset; If I don't see immediate improvement in my skill at said hobby or game, I instantly get depressed and quit the hobby or game permanently, sometimes I even get suicidal and say that I'm worthless and talentless, but I'm not, as I stated earlier I seem to be gifted in musical areas, but I keep forgetting this and call myself worthless anyway because of my lack of talent at games. 

Sometimes even after improving I quit, for instance, I started playing Absolver recently, and despite being a noob at the start I quickly learned and started beating players that were twice my level or more, however I started losing a bunch afterwards which instantly killed my confidence, so I got angry, started crying and got depressed again, despite my impressive improvement I call myself terrible at the game. I want to change this. 

Games are supposed to be fun and exciting, and in some cases an outlet for stress or anxiety, a way to distract yourself and escape reality temporarily by picking up the controller and having some fun. However the thing is for me it's not a way to have fun, I tend to see games as something that I need to be skilled at no matter the cost, and that I just become better than others at said game to help subdue my own inferiority complex, but I don't want this, if I want to improve at a game, I want to do it calmly and reasonably, such as just playing the game normally and when I lose, I try to analyze the wrongdoings that I did in the game and try to correct them. But I don't do that, if I lose I just get depressed and pissed off and call it quits. This isn't healthy, and me berating myself just because I lost at a game that I may actually be decent at is starting to take a toll on my mental health. I feel the need to win, because if I do not win, I feel worthless. I want to be able to have fun even if I lose, I don't want to be a sore loser, I want to be someone who can take a loss and learn from it. But I can't, if I take a loss I become shattered, I can win against a thousand players in a row, but as soon as I come across somebody who manages to barely beat me just once, I lose all hope and confidence and start deprecating myself again. 

I don't know how to change this, this mentality has been concretely stuck to me for years, but I've had enough of it and need to change this. I want to become better and actually learn from my mistakes and have fun even if I make mistakes rather than lose control of my emotions. Does anybody have any tips? Any advice at all is greatly appreciated. ",9.796613924050632,6.231895990506331,9.859389873417722,69.40206582278482,61.40506329113924,12.89681012658228,41.73569620253164,10.70791436637684,4.30316093670886,2494,104,489,44,25,835,247,632,0.195,0.628,0.177,-0.977,2,0,3,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,1,26,20,58,3,2,27,1,46,6,1,6,4,114,99,58,2,29,30,0,2,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,34,31,0,4,13,18,1,1,11,27,0,2,13,8,75,31,80,75,11,49,0,18,2,1,24,27,2,21,18,349,109,6,0.058990842795398964,0.0,0.1726996591107991,0.0,0.0,0.057645168845306134,0.0,0.0,0.05907080785000497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034738794919728,0.0,0.045127833273443066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788081070460397,0.1954522535771456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651781983761698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807087381971719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872134693127457,0.050815387662043764,0.061850776323224464,0.0,0.1323264925764323,0.0,0.0,0.06479867081416796,0.0,0.0,0.15242617937864525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051623284062528106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927927961593963,0.06635675819445333,0.0,0.06095330985391032,0.0,0.155851581241889,0.0,0.0,0.05636827828803397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059655085187714924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05453608359856951,0.09246084181004464,0.0,0.0,0.04947872013520115,0.09436073179905348,0.06503761243789692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279684908596674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270450735533739,0.0,0.0,0.039540318452157636,0.0,0.0,0.058591217376701886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243377154205155,0.06526462733261228,0.12285977003188715,0.06483964891306664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833339536657448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959739828890936,0.06439547341086979,0.05015190501214682,0.0,0.0,0.03937684563733025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834668423038447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122288738760013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05779850099762551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282332232426405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056446269667857214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823206791782396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065241130466373,0.05824634055215471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122276005309961,0.0469118859099593,0.0,0.0,0.09401612827553894,0.10740609547964312,0.06154031446036656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998274966802108,0.1362420984471589,0.11668690383318818,0.0,0.2922781550834947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757381111287654,0.0,0.0,0.06452640741694476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306131684351472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0391908947232786,0.03779895011745815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010181999491207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04867362332704403,0.3827376022883709,0.09364837042654303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396450600845028
mentalhealth,ThaliaWho,2019/01/19,"Help me I'm floating, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend and my family and nothing feels real. I'm disociating like there's no tomorrow. I feel like I'm in a dream, I've done the 54321 thing, I've tried just ignoring it but it's getting worse, I can remember being a room but not how I got there and when I'm being held by my boyfriend it feels like he doesn't exist other than his arms and chest 
Its never been this bad and I'm so so scared, I don't know what to do ",0.923354700854702,2.3313108653846157,3.326282051282053,91.79649572649576,79.76923076923076,6.92991452991453,21.170940170940174,7.793537801064563,0.6221850427350426,366,10,89,6,9,127,67,104,0.179,0.708,0.113,-0.8995,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,3,0,8,2,2,1,1,20,21,11,0,0,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,6,0,2,5,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,3,9,3,6,15,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,51,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197764601225712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423855974970661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22328645762681154,0.0,0.3592840490157003,0.3384194934771916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374731812750099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18943512628844675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587593711210497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016968866352666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3471471669412147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267770385508567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22726941516967014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695936207295077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26831131575436457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371338577585876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735639072981364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080946064497148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24137617537860906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PureImbalance,2019/01/19,"Friend is acting strangely So, an old friend from another time in my life has been writing in emojis to every single person in his facebook-friendslist. Lots of hearts. Then, he started asking people what year we have, so he can find out how old he is. He says he doesn't remember, and he thinks he told everyone to tell him that it's 2019, but it can't be 2019 because he remembers that it has been 2019 3 times already.

Sounds like paranoid delusions, but I don't know how to help him. Any advice?
",5.517272727272727,5.747254212121213,5.624797979797979,84.12386363636367,67.48484848484848,8.216161616161617,29.631313131313128,7.793537801064563,1.7923858585858587,393,13,78,4,6,124,72,99,0.041,0.85,0.11,0.7924,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,12,2,1,2,0,14,17,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,1,6,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,2,6,3,9,13,2,12,0,0,0,0,21,4,0,1,8,44,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078047394717453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041527948911417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580677194386095,0.19398929044329172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295061525344518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277466657741007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587100929356387,0.1767760294335016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908722371600138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28586205474371285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21922663659966352,0.12400202225073916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167150774185864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067141567416826,0.09038196278925678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728091944322292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882540802302928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282561426845209,0.1615354137979472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4191392988188328,0.0,0.0,0.14711992589208595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309443976927042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169870434122133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854093333089626,0.0,0.0,0.2157507094946708,0.0,0.0,0.1767760294335016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913433985914365
mentalhealth,yingyang3411,2019/01/19,"A book on Mental Health and Asians Hi everyone, I am working on a book focusing on the diversity within Asians as well as the very real mental health illnesses that exist within the community. The goals of the book are to: 

**1). Sharing anonymous stories from Asian all over the world who are impacted by mental health**

**2). Raise awareness and reduce stigma around mental health** 

**3). Encourage open dialogue and discussion on mental health among Asian communities while teaching readers (e.g. peers, community members) on how to talk about mental health**

Below is a SurveyMoneky link that will allow participants to share experiences and stories anonymously so that we can together be part of the movement to normalize the experience of mental health. Please feel free to share with friends and family. Thank you all for your time!

​

\*\*\***100%** of proceeds from presales will be donated to organizations/groups providing mental health services for Asians (open to suggestions).

​

[https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/H257ZH6](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/H257ZH6)",8.419969325153371,12.745708220858893,6.4829785276073615,63.0989463190184,71.08588957055215,9.14957055214724,32.689877300613496,9.3871,4.352956073619632,892,40,108,24,20,261,103,163,0.018000000000000002,0.8340000000000001,0.14800000000000002,0.9628,0,0,0,0,0,0,70.0,1,2,0,2,5,8,0,0,11,0,9,9,0,2,2,18,11,10,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,9,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,2,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,9,31,7,3,18,0,0,0,0,13,14,0,0,3,71,8,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640816034644973,0.18662132632331754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836114462809142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337802943706086,0.0,0.1502345868100096,0.0723926461090367,0.0,0.03882833332789376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932929463101633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.653010285401332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.619106047723651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523983766100016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315823294169175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429453579302798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740608716783023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172248612466984,0.0,0.07069973949314674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477802211957151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336142727386503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904521396477878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590547732254874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18662132632331754,0.0
mentalhealth,CrimsonCub2013,2019/01/19,"I'm so confused with my life right now and I need to vent and maybe I need a little bit of help I hope you all don't mind if I vent a little bit on here. Some of this might not make any sense and I might ramble on somewhat, but I'm feeling really stressed out and just need to get some stuff off of my chest. 

I feel like I'm at the BIGGEST cross roads in my life right now & I'm beyond ready for a change in my life. So I have been working retail/customer service for like more than 10 years now, I've never gotten to a management level and now I'm just completely burnt out on it all. I dread going into work every day but once I get there most of the time it is not that bad. I am in the process of seeing a career counselor who is helping me trying to find a new career but the process is going slow and I'm ready to speed it up and make this change sooner. I'm just really anxious and wish it could just happen like tomorrow or if not tomorrow then like next week. But this process takes time and I'm just really impatient about the whole thing. I mean don't get me wrong I really do enjoy twitch and streaming and it is a goal of mine to be able to do that more often, my full-time job prevents me from doing it more than just a few hours each week. I want to grow my channel but I just do not have the time or the energy to put towards it right now and that is all because of my current full-time retail job that is sucking the life out of me. I honestly do wish I could afford to put more time and energy towards my channel but I just don't have it in me right now and that really really frustrates me. God I'm so stressed out, it is unbelievable! I don't understand why I'm stressing out so much about all of this. My anxiety is going crazy. I have emailed my career counselor about kicking things into a higher gear and having us try to find me that new career faster but she hasn't responded back yet, so I'm nervous about what her reply is going to be. All of this uncertainty just makes me uncomfortable.",2.7219158878504683,3.789220712616825,4.128119158878505,89.28834696261683,74.35046728971963,7.219158878504674,23.18808411214953,7.6454224807358475,0.8412766355140189,1587,42,353,20,32,526,179,428,0.093,0.763,0.14300000000000002,0.9613,4,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,1,0,3,30,17,2,6,17,0,32,6,1,3,6,82,69,32,0,11,24,0,2,4,0,2,5,0,0,0,25,24,0,1,6,2,1,8,10,10,0,0,2,3,42,7,52,61,19,65,0,0,1,0,9,29,1,13,32,242,67,11,0.08133453262888493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088125932122188,0.0,0.05531027126760829,0.0,0.06222069483869135,0.0918848709163572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254123511053236,0.06791093739942138,0.04958077617072989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17759248834295913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720823018943984,0.0,0.08527771000714587,0.0,0.0,0.12987801210601985,0.0,0.0,0.052454044907628006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852785166946337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225036705285971,0.05810540636148344,0.0,0.0,0.14867657864700776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748180901866674,0.0,0.18489715699214107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192385859230395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903364552555096,0.0,0.0,0.08078354293088923,0.08009813104549879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614239470198018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297959429747003,0.15894377710616114,0.16303713808507844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287429630833136,0.0,0.08171147012992976,0.08859715006814302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725661718592703,0.08212469208622701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059790239953498976,0.18092557607459206,0.06273020567828412,0.15710679688105916,0.08650019817097394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661862277777703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16352734008136208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126299057508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27783698584292643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481309208778305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795052969770607,0.0,0.0931085807436308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611534463294437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807009883487594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970728020355196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044161743214473,0.0,0.0,0.08467211688302262,0.09783542829568284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04797321464959284,0.0,0.13048331210302502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339176492028977,0.09080710105653714,0.18706139708326794,0.0,0.0,0.11842501688687315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889265433208484,0.0,0.05237677235560146
mentalhealth,Manonymous,2019/01/19,"Could I have ADHD/Always had it? I think I might have ADHD and might have always had it. What do I do now?

Reasons why/Possible symptoms:
>Constantly talking myself in private, ""narrating"" my life
>Get incredibly anxious, gut churning, hands shaking, heart beating, teeth chattering etc., when I have something I feel I NEED to focus on
>Almost always leaving the computer with 100+ Firefox tabs open
>Have only been able to finish a half-dozen books, 1 during childhood, despite attempting to read 50+
>Fidget when not doing much
>See the benefit in organization/scheduling but haven't once been able to do it for more than a day or two
>Could only rarely ever study for college and had to take frequent breaks/was distracted when I did
>Lots of difficulty paying attention in classes
>Frustrated when listening to people tell the same story twice or a predictable one
>Can't really maintain relationships or conversations with people or family, never had an exclusively online friend for more than a few days because of this, despite being online most of my life
>Can only do things in small bursts like this
>If I do things for more than a short while it's in trends, one week is X week, next is Y week, or next is AHGQPXYW week
>Can't stop grinding my teeth right to left
>Constantly wanting to do everything, essentially doing nothing, or very little bits of different thing
>Always had trouble sleeping
>Have to pause frequently during movies and pace through my room at tense parts
etc.

What should I do? I'm 24 and male, counselors thought I had bad depression but not officially diagnosed.",11.428906882591093,10.18575015789474,9.976842105263161,62.580971659919044,56.192982456140356,12.83940620782726,44.3792172739541,11.661520659325953,5.3887840755735485,1325,64,199,29,13,411,181,285,0.1,0.858,0.042,-0.946,1,0,1,0,0,0,65.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,2,9,0,31,10,6,1,2,33,39,17,0,4,10,0,2,1,1,3,4,1,1,1,11,7,0,1,5,2,1,1,4,5,0,4,10,3,16,3,30,24,11,36,0,1,0,0,7,14,0,9,22,133,27,6,0.19615945947145047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357455507245439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821268174272167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264407685738264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080217731622892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818924775362826,0.0597884929037594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070776624441222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119786887639694,0.0,0.15661736674746435,0.0,0.0,0.12650662349189384,0.0,0.08447592750374433,0.0995488611196694,0.0,0.1024724423674786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21876964972202406,0.0,0.08871873071646116,0.0,0.0,0.08814773686898833,0.0,0.0924608403224309,0.0,0.04959205832052544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757761558965323,0.0,0.051242610695356544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162249519723212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038522721951289,0.10656391333528156,0.0,0.1385532273490961,0.04791680175036546,0.09830165566471663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338387885698721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080941876768732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209988655409992,0.07272487683529733,0.07564513399573604,0.0,0.20861781052843587,0.0,0.0,0.09411014590636728,0.0,0.0,0.10445171119244896,0.13292272638456784,0.22378216231772466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621078950390073,0.0,0.13599227041816958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981062715035125,0.0,0.06283238634371946,0.10084229732424578,0.0,0.10530092442197724,0.0,0.08375955329577069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815684617395685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815056174356357,0.0,0.0,0.07550656769261394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199904577864674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194239325320928,0.07374375058829483,0.0788327715674447,0.08572600682810393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19547944293111008,0.06284553052874181,0.0,0.07786434979804191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580964440967747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092604877222255,0.05784996575630421,0.0,0.3146945724636037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,killahklock,2019/01/19,"So I haven't yet been diagnosed w bipolar but I feel like I have it I get in these fits of rage the past couple of months so bad that I turn into a monster. Yet, I still get depressed, cry , get angry, then get happy again. The constant rollercoaster is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend and myself because when I get like this I just can't stop ( sometimes it's days or weeks even). I don't want to admit something is wrong with me but I know there is. I'm afraid to go to a dr. I'm afraid to go on meds. Because this voice in my head keeps telling me I need to be perfect nothing can be wrong while another voice is telling me I'm a complete piece of shit psycho and that no one wants me around. P. S when I'm on that time of the month my feelings get so intensified that I can't even be around people.

☹️",0.6191954022988497,2.6303120689655195,2.2857471264367817,95.89229885057472,83.48275862068967,5.2459770114942526,21.735632183908052,6.42735559955562,0.19247356321839024,636,21,148,6,18,208,101,174,0.236,0.667,0.097,-0.9817,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,15,13,2,2,6,0,14,5,2,0,1,21,35,12,0,3,4,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,9,7,0,2,4,0,0,2,5,9,0,1,1,4,21,4,18,31,1,26,0,2,0,0,4,8,1,1,18,91,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064905853727605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388117696506024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119945865289829,0.1635311995288186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063481138857298,0.14494900090523244,0.0,0.0,0.14841446598757488,0.1473376631613741,0.08650401976710975,0.0,0.11552766331000958,0.1361411191350141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718579325522407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564230155981602,0.09582390127055317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204704878991699,0.0,0.1524605714535146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278596893998055,0.0,0.0,0.13765809125753947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922265183337825,0.0,0.0,0.07371541908978768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310602038495128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489903731658602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21412570657514468,0.0,0.0,0.09945715109097494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870323619524354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908912895885294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804413616846178,0.0929902144545125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400753093022556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768453263870373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326133832268494,0.1326599412943428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711795903172301,0.11214032721970024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344744957860285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782134263696518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589705893731253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822901420274235,0.0,0.10759257011842566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933044906181772,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VirtualVigilante,2019/01/19,"I have untreated MDD and GAD because I can't afford to see a psychiatrist again. A couple of years ago, when I was diagnosed, I was sent to a psychiatrist for medication. The meds I was put on ultimately made me very tired and really numbed everything. I would rather feel sad than nothing at all. I have since stopped the treatment. I have been told by others on medication that its just a matter of finding the right one and dosage, but I can't afford to return to a psychiatrist and spend all the money on trialing different drugs. It also seems like a lot of effort that I really don't want to put in. I am self-destructive, but I hate talking to psychologists. Can a GP manage meds usually?",5.293777777777779,6.22521363703704,6.780000000000005,73.17000000000002,68.18518518518519,10.74074074074074,29.814814814814817,10.746095033038511,3.328703703703704,551,20,104,16,9,189,86,135,0.114,0.85,0.035,-0.8268,3,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,11,0,13,6,0,1,2,19,21,8,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,2,3,3,3,0,1,7,2,13,1,17,13,3,16,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,2,8,74,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383299471102687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129758627289952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989117050840743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953672366215828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468967713191973,0.0,0.16952633368785794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816916343918647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582811055379072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204312918554252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830197342416396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019737190816666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927165133487066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379469733004409,0.0,0.15353358264881914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604667951659146,0.326918156185599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569208296141035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995103633306984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262306338168948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20789480269263708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385684741527268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292995782901511,0.14771468583143954,0.1692717378075431,0.0,0.0,0.13422249077923526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565596052552495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304178023819864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18649308638577947,0.0,0.15504562345354445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870559005083467,0.13388083694737485,0.09570468285966056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526428349847025,0.0,0.0,0.1044896078805513
mentalhealth,GrinderCore,2019/01/19,"When Weekend comes... Hi, today is Saturday, I didn't go to school, I woke up at 12.30 p.m, I wrote some messages to my friends and no one has invited me to do something this night. 
I contacted a friend just for bud, she is the only one I will see today today, just for ""affairs"".
I have a girlfriend, I don't know what to do with her in spare time. 
I can't find anyone to pass time with, my old known friends are in jail. 
And I stay almost all the time on PC or on social networks trying to find someone to talk with. 
I can't find a sense in life anymore.
Tuesday I will go to the psychologist, she will try to help me. 
I don't even know which broblem I should solve in my life or In my head, I'm just feeling hopeless and alone.",2.0147204301075234,3.1139659935483905,3.4552419354838726,93.29619623655914,76.16129032258064,6.198924731182796,24.52956989247312,6.42735559955562,0.5265376344086019,559,18,131,4,12,184,90,155,0.049,0.846,0.105,0.802,0,1,1,0,0,2,25.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,0,16,3,1,0,1,24,26,6,0,1,5,0,1,0,5,4,2,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,7,1,0,4,6,1,0,2,3,2,22,3,23,19,2,26,0,1,1,0,16,9,0,4,12,85,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598715380392005,0.15099398397870456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445840377194626,0.10193942828757337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558476994358525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629260877520687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737155662285746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39974696427243467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33790988483083617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657110978358296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962211679251725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771964801951882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602442245668939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20595091135000973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368135966920239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298158599998185,0.0,0.1975815155070679,0.11087950615322824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754678644121832,0.11617537899144395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861406486720147,0.12352699461731866,0.11223590187490852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539223974899355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718010081176425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550331398928659,0.0,0.4145742796399639,0.0,0.0,0.1979630403102768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,davchx,2019/01/19,"It’s always me I am always the one who reaches out to my “best friend”, does that mean that our “friendship “is not reciprocated? Or, am I just overthinking it all, once again?",1.521470588235296,4.064806735294121,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,84.58823529411767,5.752941176470588,20.264705882352946,7.1686216300943375,0.5173764705882355,135,4,28,2,4,44,29,34,0.0,0.695,0.305,0.897,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,6,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,2,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,23,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5878787902608055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3707230319313824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091389193494579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729266632577053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848020994350799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762088043399571,0.23937712169506625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fratellaroni,2019/01/19,"New to Reddit. Hi, I'm completely new to Reddit so I apologize if I'm not using this correctly.

I decided to join Reddit so I could get some insight from people that might have the same issues as I do. I only recently became open to my mother about the things going on in my head, and now that I've started talking about everything out loud, I'm beginning to realize it's not all exactly normal. I've struggled with anxiety my whole life, and was diagnosed with depression by my doctor when I was 13 after seeing my grandmother go into cardiac arrest and pass. I feel like I have overcome the depression, but not as much the anxiety. My mom's had health problems my whole life, and the older I get, the worse they get. About 2 years ago, my mom was diagnosed with an incurbale form of leukemia and rheumatoid arthritis. She was also diagnosed with gastroparesis after she had her gastric bypass reversed. She can't eat anything at all, and has to get all of her nutrients through a feeding tube. She's in pain nearly everyday and it hurts me so much seeing her like this because I love her dearly and I just wish I could help.   
I don't exactly know how to get everything into one post so I'm just going to list all of my odd ""problems"".   

* For the past year, I've been struggling with dissociation. 
   * This first manifested when I was a child. I used to dissociate whenever my anxiety was through the roof. It feels like I'm not at all apart of my body, and like I have no control over my body. The best way I can describe it is like watching life through a tv, or like life is just one long dream. It simply just doesn't feel real. I only had episodes like this every now and then when my anxiety was really bad, but I feel like I've been stuck in this state for well over a year. I thought this was because I smoked weed, but I've stopped smoking and I think it's gotten worse. I space out and feel completely disconnected almost everyday. It makes it very hard to concentrate on everything from reading, to holding complete conversations. 
* I'm an extremely paranoid person.
   * Now I talked to my mom about this, and she's pretty paranoid about some of the same things as me. Like I absolutely cannot go into public by myself without having an anxiety attack because I think every person that walks past me is going to attack me or snatch me. I think this is caused by all the shit I hear in the news, and my mom is equally paranoid about this. I've coped with this by bringing headphones with me everywhere I go so I can listen to music. Music is the only coping mechanism I've found that can actually calm me down.
   * Now this is where I think the paranoia is getting out of hand. I have an irrational fear of people hearing my thoughts. This started when I was a freshman, and I would ride the bus home. I would listen to my music and just talk to myself in my head and get lost in imaginary worlds. I don't know why, but I just started freaking out thinking everyone can hear what I'm thinking about. I know in my head that it is literally impossible for people to hear my thoughts, but I still have this problem. When I'm in public, I make it a point to say in my head, ""If you can hear me, raise your hand."" Of course nobody has ever raised their hand but I still have this fear. 
   * I'm paranoid of the government and hackers watching me through my cameras in my devices. I used to cover my laptop camera with tape, now I just tilt the screen back far enough so I know they can't see me. I'm also scared of them looking at my search history and constantly looking at whatever I do on my laptop and phone. I don't do anything illegal or even remotely weird. I only use my laptop for school (I do online school now) and every now and then to play video games. 
   * I live across the street from a school, so there's always people there and tons of cars. Even though I know the people are there because they work there, I still have episodes where I think someone is actually over there watching my house. There was one day in particular that I watched a white S.U.V. pull into the school parking lot, and I was overcome this feeling that they weren't there for school. I went around the house and closed all the blinds and sat in my room watching that one car. Of course, they never came over to the house, but I was still having a panic attack over it. This has gotten a little better because I constantly remind myself of that particular event, and remind myself that everyone in the parking lot is there for school. But I still have a deep gut feeling that people park at the school to watch my house.  
   * I live on a very sharp corner, so people have to go pretty slow around it. I tell myself over and over that people HAVE to go around the corner slow, but I still have this gut feeling that they're going so slow because they're looking into my windows, or they're sizing up the house to break in. 
   * I have episodes where I think people are in my house. I go around looking in every room for anybody, and I yell out to make sure nobody is there. This is extremely irrational because I have 6 dogs who bark at everybody and everything. So I know for a fact that if somebody were in my house, my dogs would let me know right away. 
* I have lots of ups and downs.
   * One day I can be super happy and productive. I clean the house, smile all day, and be super affectionate to my dogs and family. But then there's days where I wake up so fucking agitated. There will be no rhyme or reason to my downs. I've stopped reading the news on my phone in the morning because I thought maybe this was the cause of my downs. But it hasn't really changed. When I have my downs, I try to seclude myself from my family because even if they're all happy, any tiny little thing they say to me will make me even more agitated and I don't want to keep lashing out at them for no reason. 

This post is kind of a mess, but I needed to try and fit as much info in as I could. If anybody at all could help me it would be greatly appreciated it. I do eventually want to talk to a professional about all this, but I'm still working up the courage to do so. If anybody has any of the same problems, please let me know... I just want to feel normal.  ",3.879553276673459,5.196904016155088,4.775006321556512,84.79569343962918,71.84329563812601,7.708941490482546,26.784470042846106,8.18289091462,1.6324748612769544,4884,165,983,72,92,1586,396,1238,0.115,0.768,0.117,0.9063,0,0,1,0,0,0,131.0,0,2,9,9,78,49,5,6,52,0,95,28,13,14,18,201,195,90,0,25,37,5,14,9,0,7,11,11,5,3,55,62,2,5,36,7,0,19,19,24,1,6,32,41,160,25,164,146,30,169,0,4,16,2,54,87,2,18,67,699,215,17,0.0,0.0,0.06702925700161427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030443737265257783,0.0,0.0343903894865016,0.0,0.0,0.0549295043887862,0.02857682169023652,0.0,0.0,0.0467099705804532,0.0,0.13136469767744022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056524099332837474,0.12229317676348865,0.0,0.11721320999427155,0.032267163222200974,0.026408288959061683,0.028675667424141512,0.1884211457377539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03604173566209808,0.03037433086216196,0.0,0.07629651615700724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03928019758467069,0.0,0.07056115734486458,0.036331223273222926,0.0,0.10802657176448292,0.07422696886057747,0.03851953092161568,0.10968302967034536,0.0,0.0,0.08859572872483662,0.0,0.05916058898987421,0.10457480783830024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03515237007922968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03514231683673316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035486361921613974,0.0,0.09073511563622977,0.031065964699749794,0.1157446478588102,0.06563401164011122,0.1234640964684917,0.0,0.06475262164752517,0.07729272436378985,0.15628747262935888,0.07360572709664992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02921284824370012,0.0,0.037656242071700916,0.0,0.031750321762749674,0.1256026529562061,0.0,0.19518392708937535,0.0,0.0,0.037864198991333545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311930129939052,0.030765330066622337,0.0,0.14098673035849899,0.03650589028653475,0.19353998865377608,0.0,0.04603989691296876,0.0,0.03444966642029998,0.0,0.0,0.31702539313621675,0.03676578535291501,0.0,0.0,0.035846040609138666,0.0,0.03052637827734135,0.0,0.0357638188591174,0.15099578701889674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023779567529632,0.0970322644407444,0.15100796570379804,0.06884308961918968,0.06065247048093547,0.030393212964179118,0.11536068569894785,0.0,0.037490352550973,0.08759370032168685,0.03099665168155468,0.0,0.09169910536224532,0.0,0.03450299807234738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03643338129607269,0.0,0.16089233643706724,0.0,0.0,0.07574001045069201,0.025465518254307103,0.02648808254403209,0.0663389791093031,0.0,0.0,0.06729933222147817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636135606061222,0.10448013550019844,0.03654426153172518,0.040295090217451465,0.0,0.0,0.06557015259711847,0.21428721614472065,0.05997542349763501,0.0,0.0376992172308394,0.03246602469149383,0.0,0.06578380024264181,0.06988005342460171,0.0,0.1314496462528096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687062572410472,0.039090802700763636,0.04400307985454211,0.07062236404009845,0.03391039348638,0.0,0.0,0.029329447174681306,0.0,0.05462319161391632,0.034384169856202004,0.2433045596605941,0.08210276921263762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035253452776256085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02909941968381949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292622888333923,0.0,0.19198921523640902,0.057425967233770574,0.0,0.07180726573021755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03236865775378047,0.0,0.0,0.11041709361350352,0.030018025285817738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844955315053736,0.17604914021437362,0.033742643210840306,0.10906067400471156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046634418733490134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864818518309518,0.0,0.05667452079500121,0.0607706505566686,0.02726053740388046,0.0,0.0,0.030879231916041607,0.031837078834813,0.030989968966956667,0.07668732988715468,0.0394937149748486,0.033106231079628845,0.0,0.05000544137644685,0.0,0.06999860325224215,0.09758749916722953,0.0,0.0,0.06634891060266797
mentalhealth,Westygalery,2019/01/19,"Anemia causing worst ""hell attack"" of my life? Anyone have similar experience? This is fucking. Insane. Idk why but I think I may have gotten some sort of stomach bug, food poisoning, or just nausea from the first day of my menstrual cycle. Of COURSE this had to fall on the day when I lose the most blood, so i essentially ate nothing, lost a shit ton of Iron, couldn't sleep as a nice touch, and (wait for it)....CHUGGED A SHIT TON OF BLACK COFFEE TO STAY AWAKE  

Darwin award everyone.

I had no idea what was going on at first, but thinking through it now it was so fucking obvious. I worsened effects of anemnia/iron deficiency/q general bad mental health streak I was having, to the point where now I literally am stuck in my own personal hell.

I call these ""hell attacks"" instead of panic attacks, maybe its PMDD but I've gotten them not around my period I believe. What I'd consider my panic attacks are nowhere near like this. I get an INTENSE, INSISTENT, MIND CRUMBLING, BODY SHAKING wave of paranoid thoughts, existential dread, almost been convinced it's an actual demon and I'm not even religious.

 It just genuinely feels sureal in a very satanic way. It has me convinced I may actually have some sort of clinical psychosis and I just want it to end, but this has been the worst yet. Thanks to the anemia, I have this psuedo tiredness where I can sleep. A WINK. I slept maybe an hour and I had the most restless, and weirdest nightmare ever of random numbers counting and me trying to stop them all??? So bizarre, felt like some kind of torture.

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? My symptoms to start were hunger but barely being able to take in anything, and some crappy sleep, but now its instense dysphoria/paranoia/disassociation, nausea mixed with overwhelming dizziness, insomnia, panic, rapid heartbeat/shortness of breath, crying, shaking, and actually feeling like I'm dying.

All cause of a little blood loss and just being fucking stupid. ",4.7403980446927365,7.241916681564247,5.1217283519553085,78.26851431564248,72.12849162011173,7.491759776536312,30.461243016759767,8.376592526197632,2.5981198324022343,1564,69,258,27,32,496,212,358,0.328,0.612,0.06,-0.9991,0,0,0,0,0,1,64.0,0,0,2,7,19,39,15,8,16,0,26,23,11,3,5,57,50,21,1,2,13,0,4,4,0,2,6,0,0,1,17,11,3,2,8,0,0,4,4,29,0,2,17,6,27,10,35,28,13,34,5,4,1,3,4,12,8,13,20,173,44,1,0.08868744330698293,0.0,0.25963845405034425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888076635973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240246448920194,0.0,0.14596441836348742,0.0789506273730912,0.0,0.40357908038685053,0.0,0.0,0.07405031068434903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992037838797234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851175636113346,0.0,0.0,0.0905597954670354,0.0,0.0,0.18221286871375705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741899203121064,0.11439212800775575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204356421111867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855075094218654,0.0,0.0,0.05857721987306368,0.1604457398462356,0.0,0.08474465269670911,0.0,0.08675333734035623,0.0,0.0,0.08968607219104445,0.06335832721909769,0.08515385362304555,0.0,0.0,0.15087498794183654,0.10724120848175434,0.0,0.0,0.2459703367406503,0.046335528688665265,0.0,0.05040311783429145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427060502350583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733926693236048,0.0,0.0,0.10011732842088243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235432461274994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264256400701845,0.17331282009597818,0.08888811722093852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992185636910858,0.0968128208840963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819691440889335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937608334415524,0.0,0.08954903579189034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509799376662326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31216681783079553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743845466150015,0.0,0.0,0.08383830024011511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207277216362425,0.0,0.0,0.26625447695366616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627734288444481,0.09452901432543064,0.0,0.07414667376547147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218021141150227,0.06668192007834886,0.0,0.0,0.08165148226327887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365466525821565,0.0,0.07040792350219527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021295240876776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073176428828702,0.05231015187488166,0.07039596443639183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002662313517807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mimi897,2019/01/19,"[ADVICE] How to be a good friend without losing it, too? My best friend is having her second psychotic episode. Her first one was 5 years ago, when she was 24. She started accusing everyone of things that were not real, had visual hallucinations and made no sense at all. She went back to normal after a couple of days of medication. She was on it for about 2 years, then stopped taking it and was totally normal.

Her personality changed a lot though. She used to be super bubbly and lively and spontaneous. We were always the loudest everywhere we went and laughed the hardest. Since her first episode, she became an introvert, thinks everything super logical, had an 180 degrees career change and her empathy is lower (she isnt mean or selfish; she just doesn’t perceive things especially emotions if you dont tell her directly). I had to change a lot too and have always made sure she was comortable and not in situations that made her feel insecure and so on (large group of people, crowded areas, crazy lights, didn’t let anyone touch her phone or didn’t answer anyone questions about her etc).

I didnt know she hadn’t seen her psychatrist in two years. I began noticing something was off in summer and one month ago I was sure. She told me about some thought patterns she was having - the same as last time ( connecting memories and things that had no real connection to each other and being paranoid she is tracked and people want to hurt her).

She seeked help. Unfortunately things progressed to fast and now she is in a full blown psychotic episode again. We live in different countries and can’t do much. I begged her parents to get her fast to a doctor but they wouldn’t listen. Her friends over there the same.

I love her, she has been my best friend since 9th grade, I can’t imagine life wihout her. But I can’t imagine life anymore like this either - me always picking up the pieces, always being in the back and making sure she is OK whenever we hang out, then her going off the rails again, telling me the worst imaginable things (I know she is ill and it’s not really her, but we know each other so well, everything she says hits all my buttons), everybody else being super chill about it (let’s not upset her, let’s take things one step at a time etc - her parents have known about this for 2-3 weeks and just because she talks with them they think it’s not that bad this time and are not hurrying at all to get her medication. And all this time she is living alone abroad, isolating herself and god knows how much sleep or food she gets. One week ago she looked pale as a ghost and 3 kilos lighter when she is already thin). I feel all alone in this. 

Has anybody been successful with a similar situation? After her first episode the doctor said it might be paranoid schizophrenia, but had to monitor her. I guess he was right. I just feel tired of always paying attention to all the tiny details so she is comfortable, of dealing with her lack of empathy (which I know is only because of her condition) only for her not to go to the doctor, for her parents to be totally chill about it and then about this whole thing. It’s like they don’t realise a car could hit her anytime because she sleeps two hours a night because she is too busy looking for tracking devices in her house or overthinking everything.

Im just so tired of all of this and feel all alone in trying to help her and totally useless. I don’t know what to ask of her when she gets better besides to see her psychatrist on a regulat basis and go to therapy. I don’t even want to imagine going through this again. I don’t know how everybody else have the ability to distance themselves from the situation so well. It’s totally ruining my wellbeing and makes me feel frustrated, angry, lonely and just sad.

I thought it would be us taking over the world. And now it’s us working it out until all falls to pieces and I can’t do anything about it and no one will take me seriously or truly try to help get het back to normal :(",5.509417606420804,6.426625591968914,5.705498323681805,81.11809560093468,67.69170984455957,8.904642893426802,30.16316163771208,9.061647067312856,2.420741765721833,3175,116,605,55,51,1007,324,772,0.097,0.7709999999999999,0.133,0.9864,5,5,1,0,0,1,81.0,7,1,4,13,40,36,1,2,28,1,70,14,2,10,16,139,124,59,1,10,24,3,7,2,4,4,10,3,0,1,37,43,1,1,27,0,1,10,27,13,2,11,33,15,100,23,81,73,33,80,0,6,4,1,99,27,0,12,45,446,137,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0509961350573066,0.13878079879385447,0.0,0.0,0.16214871623813565,0.057589203486862486,0.0,0.21711713132794036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051755077668179335,0.07298015896761699,0.0,0.042945119758486486,0.0,0.048787420129710365,0.0,0.0,0.12038480704863865,0.043573625629408766,0.12724985176230558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953322017204203,0.04615480093821271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561948827385728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041666748345073994,0.057743472960254526,0.0,0.03365603543520889,0.053802086259980925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452388272260306,0.0,0.16024556895187672,0.0,0.0,0.06116229876546486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719040464831124,0.058702893419053985,0.0,0.0,0.11640369302346408,0.034468752738128765,0.0,0.0,0.04986652637341507,0.1407058353329415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193554820056508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316966898577726,0.0631042358532195,0.0,0.1612769303362853,0.0,0.13632670557095716,0.0,0.11863537461325373,0.0437716385435282,0.0,0.0,0.05748941616682885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493872047142068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139328228182617,0.06021632204410325,0.0558668275525615,0.0,0.056370476105174226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007627084360455,0.04253903884928065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600929824154857,0.0737218684778593,0.05099146694893855,0.0,0.13824515414818653,0.0,0.08764718980465602,0.058383449168657994,0.0,0.0887343509477431,0.04710043801805889,0.14814064940032753,0.06966991262149863,0.0,0.0,0.056846499205217935,0.0,0.10514500502661378,0.0,0.055361728587773315,0.0,0.0,0.04165484093967091,0.0,0.07672630158830591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04897358266199192,0.15339534372227548,0.0,0.05941478244341152,0.0,0.0,0.1768149313395535,0.0793805117533693,0.0,0.0,0.17384110821499274,0.0,0.0,0.07235922587723959,0.04556732040090314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05846092803859864,0.0,0.0,0.1187995367111948,0.03343206802762323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456706559621931,0.04964140090555178,0.04150087366518387,0.0,0.0,0.041585958295747474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863385786359026,0.1759797524450024,0.10444856380942624,0.0,0.0,0.04017578918334578,0.0,0.0,0.03693793939098796,0.0,0.0,0.043630328819206664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475557399478992,0.0,0.15695129405355704,0.04194560695866894,0.09122676564711253,0.0,0.059679917626565424,0.0,0.24269317624549155,0.06687812365983724,0.0512730630213007,0.08286065167521665,0.1217216890726258,0.11996162424413725,0.0,0.04986652637341507,0.0,0.0708625425620419,0.0,0.10195743742993787,0.0,0.1255480925193435,0.04507246096759099,0.0,0.0,0.06156200975657385,0.0,0.08372187471102349,0.0,0.09384402959705966,0.09675498978023504,0.0,0.05826446780814356,0.0,0.050306013726815015,0.0,0.03799246151348951,0.0,0.0,0.03707185862431939,0.0,0.0,0.10081936537894956
mentalhealth,lesWengeanCe,2019/01/19,"Should I go to a therapist or just give me time? First disclaimer: my first language isn't english so forgive me for any grammar error and such. I hope you'll understand what I'm asking. 

About 11 months ago I'd got a crush on a guy who didn't felt the same way about me and, long story short, he left (actually I pushed him away). Before that we would argue all days about anything and I started ruminating about anything (that situation, my university condition, family, friends and pretty much all my life). In the same period I started having panic attacks at night and so my insomnia got worse (I've got insomnia since high school). The panic attacks are gone, but I got really bad mood swings (from extremely angry to complete  despair, rarely happy). My plans for the future are gone and I've become very uncertain and ashamed about myself. Sometimes I even think that all the things that I'm feeling and thinking are just lies. A few months ago I pushed away all my friendships except for one. I rarely talk to my family and for my tendencies to be alone I'm terrified to remain single and without friends all my life.

I started this post with my ""heartbreak"" experience (it's ridiculous to use this word, but that was the feeling) because I began experiencing  discomfort from then, but I'm sure that it isn't the only cause. So 11 months are passed and I'm still frozen. I haven't a job (here it's hard to find one and knowing myself I would just quit university and began to work disappointing my family) and don't want my mom (my father died when I was 12) to pay for the therapist sessions also.

I'm sure I'm missing out on something. ",4.8510519818954885,6.258180589905366,5.568182690988895,79.68981621176795,69.5993690851735,8.541434645453299,29.24002194486353,8.964715089967882,2.3926067480455364,1305,49,243,24,23,424,172,317,0.208,0.7240000000000001,0.068,-0.9932,1,1,1,0,0,0,41.0,1,1,0,5,19,22,4,5,13,0,17,4,0,2,7,53,49,24,1,5,9,2,4,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,14,17,0,0,9,0,1,6,6,14,0,4,12,5,35,7,31,32,10,39,0,4,0,0,15,10,0,3,21,154,49,5,0.0,0.0,0.09136989639224442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16599564095734035,0.0,0.0,0.09697299740413057,0.0,0.0748763055028323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367197494547806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409990594351694,0.0,0.08753191160596932,0.21303650240811625,0.17593794067645058,0.0,0.07817758628770624,0.057076305463156674,0.1034075704082138,0.07967268959281426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618435179375276,0.0,0.0,0.09816983519592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038394961015878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717371361229987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184208572251496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158863012178607,0.26479960821815884,0.0,0.09468482417863426,0.0,0.08989999741828733,0.0,0.08557661329113407,0.1592841715243812,0.0,0.0,0.14467743910976918,0.0,0.0,0.08981894146791437,0.0532123911060453,0.0,0.29953957057128044,0.0,0.0,0.09270895082981984,0.0,0.09967144621396773,0.08387456899881159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989258015494412,0.0,0.0929962483209667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291385916836277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145689372347415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101729850903993,0.0,0.1322680325763146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286007763736923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965895168886423,0.22420500071932986,0.0,0.06882921694388443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786591496742377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689294821887287,0.0712102414880631,0.0,0.2197105194345815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967217124775129,0.09525591550472648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995875998360557,0.0,0.0,0.059982118661293576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475910073721884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745214661125926,0.10524464499593236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208136068984551,0.09260299384896274,0.0,0.19881652506419206,0.0,0.07477346668893102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649134348887172,0.0,0.0,0.0752566778649777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174245368417945,0.062203967433796914,0.1199893331724059,0.0,0.0,0.0545967182734162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747268963248988,0.0,0.08086672053552793,0.0,0.07725499766459673,0.055225715788737625,0.07431956102779047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025649511855817,0.0,0.06816414506137769,0.0,0.0954175148712324,0.13302489221793495,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anxious_shit,2019/01/19,"Online support groups/chats? Hi! I was wondering if people knew of any ACTIVE online chats/support groups for different mental illnesses and identities? 7cups used to be amazing for this but it's been very inactive lately and the good listeners are all gone.

Specifically searching for ones that are either for general mental illness or are tailored to sexual assault/r\*pe victims; people with OCD, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, or PTSD; LGBTQ+ people; and/or people with chronic illnesses.",9.375416666666666,12.114386375000002,8.490000000000002,57.94166666666669,60.25,11.833333333333336,39.583333333333336,11.538034831475384,6.023083333333332,410,21,46,13,6,128,62,80,0.215,0.677,0.107,-0.9069,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,6,5,0,2,1,15,12,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,4,1,1,3,9,7,2,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,29,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727178480380233,0.0,0.14317302559480666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119628544438305,0.0,0.0,0.19553709036599826,0.2144957887080651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19150623861978666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697669377103132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21111893713323687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772163434975919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682103871178393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5189987133218595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21877412291865286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247624420414048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164178765618553,0.0,0.15442243539965922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20296156135348206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dometastic_,2019/01/19,"Sudden hostile behavior, then shutdown? I don't know where else to post this but if I'm on the wrong sub, please tell me.

So, uh. I don't know how to start this off. My SO sometimes has these sudden bursts of aggressive behavior. This happened 4 times in the past year now, I think.

Thia is how it goes down:
She starts scratching and punching herself. I try to hold her down and calm her but she'll try to push me away and tell me to leave her in a very aggressive tone. She doesn't want to hurt me though,just herself. This then goes on for a while until I start crying. This is when she seems to snap back but immediately shuts down and falls asleep/goes unconscious(?). So far this only happened while we were in bed so luckily I didn't have to worry about her falling over and hitting her head. Now she's laying next to me, sleeping. I tried waking her up but I guess I'll let her rest for now.

Some background: She suffers from depression and anxiety, as do I but it's a lot stronger for her. She has therapy but doesn't go there regularly. She's off of her meds right now but she had those outbursts before when she took them so I doubt that's what's causing it. So yeah she has a long history with mental illness. I don't know how often this happens when I'm not around,if at all.
So what should I do? Does anyone know what's happening to her? I'm scared and worried.",1.3739393200926069,3.5439606890459388,2.517628853417815,94.39360424028273,81.68551236749117,5.7409041062507615,21.419398074814183,6.953978226594392,0.3963233581089316,1077,33,239,13,29,343,150,283,0.154,0.7609999999999999,0.086,-0.9519,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,1,0,1,0,23,10,3,2,6,1,19,4,3,4,1,37,40,34,0,3,9,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,16,9,0,1,6,0,0,5,7,9,1,0,4,1,43,1,34,32,4,47,0,3,0,0,27,18,0,7,23,162,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241570858777126,0.0,0.0,0.08446986068104352,0.0,0.0,0.10754231146063332,0.0,0.0,0.11350053728358273,0.0928918035016886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027963956022696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410029996816165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269892756763801,0.0,0.0,0.1040494106984889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571751467345247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100917310095675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731284923442758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330806356944588,0.0,0.4273108407681183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398106966632287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932455085910988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655656903611932,0.0,0.0,0.12791534867874954,0.0,0.12353158367010696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690887133317008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270432906983057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418743254640508,0.0,0.12174330859598248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284777858504758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918778591804976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532230922021244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260792036179822,0.0,0.0,0.11569806463430456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316704910292136,0.0,0.0,0.12094715999216665,0.0,0.0,0.10997658983816444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089252418910434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947951096295187,0.0,0.25651979702478284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21117827896245328,0.0,0.13815136603385625,0.0,0.0,0.07740714555942156,0.11869057429763652,0.0,0.0704425302936671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342191111500443,0.24605656588290856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967700780241456,0.07125408413662483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453672518587727,0.0,0.0,0.1320816094156976,0.0,0.07779463960234206
mentalhealth,EinsamGedanken,2019/01/19,"Intermittent Explosive Disorder has lost me two jobs and now I just got a 30 Day Notice on my apartment door. I feel hopeless. I have until the 2nd to fix my behaviour or I have to be out on the 18th. I worked for the same property management company that I rent from. They fired me in December due to my anger outbursts at work. Because of this, I've been extremely depressed and my anger has hit an all time high. I've been having outbursts weekly which consist of me screaming and crying and throwing things in my apartment. I feel like it's really obvious why I'm having these since I just got fired and my life is spiraling downward. I know it's not management's job to keep tabs of resident's mental health or really give two shits about it at all but I feel like they should be more sensitive considering they know I just got fired and am having a really hard time right now. 

But instead, they've been documenting each outburst I've had over the last month and listed it all in my violation. I'm extra pissed though because several of the things I supposedly did were falsely reported and made to sound worse than it actually was. Even to the point that residents said they heard me yelling about a ""gun."" I never, EVER said the word gun or anything about a gun. What I actually said didn't even sound anything like the word gun so I feel like they added that to get me in worse trouble. 

I just feel so FUCKED over right now. I don't even have a handle on my illness at all despite therapy and medication and I'm afraid that I will get evicted because I won't be able to control my anger when it comes again. I told myself that I would keep it under control in order to not get fired but I couldn't even do that despite knowing I was on my final written warning. So, I got fired because I'm my lack of control.

I don't know how to control this. When I get angry I feel like there's another person inside me and I have no control over my emotions or what I say. I'm fucking panicking. I can't lose my home over this. ",3.8811898940505287,5.117098948655258,5.046804400977997,83.16195884270581,71.73838630806846,8.387318663406683,28.792257538712306,8.841846274778883,2.1915104482477585,1606,62,325,30,30,531,187,409,0.241,0.718,0.041,-0.9981,4,0,0,4,1,1,28.0,0,0,5,9,25,20,8,1,14,0,32,8,2,7,7,60,70,26,0,4,13,0,12,5,0,4,4,9,3,1,22,14,0,7,10,0,1,2,10,15,0,2,21,21,55,5,40,40,9,45,0,4,0,2,13,25,4,4,22,218,77,7,0.07751189332516419,0.0,0.15128085332065078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127797853791456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275713675305538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18900212292654792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676963272754614,0.0,0.0,0.4346808966712011,0.0,0.0,0.08514317513958224,0.049988758795787465,0.0,0.06676088014167401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883534506614743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719044717519017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204783498036778,0.07011394515225168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23515405342205375,0.2214980483164236,0.0,0.08491049038630373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331699273821052,0.16198706030792162,0.07435647103774667,0.0,0.0,0.2479733677533805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943543153190575,0.0,0.0,0.08239151798510957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189557099628668,0.07775074893862005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383718768775784,0.13779226448754936,0.0,0.0,0.17039403784150425,0.06318253843459933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474894255458231,0.18934197900855912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671598185640693,0.08461338792800051,0.0,0.0,0.07334362762344497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808507786033941,0.07811375747988984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186925374554825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05978195058901675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824780429606928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768039547843359,0.0,0.0,0.07327379325031487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896831100868874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238946676380084,0.22119468179159985,0.061640568671764234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756637657417131,0.07956484462244373,0.0641186391443802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864160524581191,0.0,0.102990915442403,0.0,0.07615504164259572,0.0,0.09039561666407492,0.0,0.0,0.0740659357714082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143571372015713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217536538011605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994242752219057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285916300582703,0.0,0.15798248264929815,0.05506222509333215,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BabyDoll3x,2019/01/19,Is there such a thing as a depression attack? Ya know like an anxiety attack where it happens at random (or when triggered) and you just get a feeling of frustration and anger and you just don't know what to do and all you can think of is either nothing or everything wrong at the same time and all you can do or think of to relieve it is hurting yourself. Or is that just me? ,3.092640692640696,4.496757246753248,4.126688311688317,88.333841991342,73.93506493506493,7.2112554112554115,27.119047619047624,7.793537801064563,1.4957982683982691,296,11,62,4,6,96,48,77,0.232,0.67,0.098,-0.9247,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,5,0,0,7,9,4,0,5,0,9,0,0,1,2,23,16,11,0,0,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,1,6,2,8,16,4,5,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,5,3,53,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273113727652724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5732294816247259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169929935431537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22642475628821235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738693150732794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162669911211086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22278708233246755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697037997731749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27691600436265834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308370633000468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417403736952217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737576708224378,0.32286215027671394,0.0,0.0,0.14690650738494865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754535910074699,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,surreptitious-glance,2019/01/19,"Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts? Every time something really stressful happens to me, I just think that if my life ended, then I wouldn't have to deal with the stress or the hurt, or anything to be honest.

I never attempt to do so, but a little urge is definitely there at times. 

I'm just wondering if this is a normal thing people think about/feel or not. ",6.279166666666665,5.911533027777783,6.835555555555558,78.11500000000002,65.94444444444444,9.422222222222222,30.5,8.841846274778883,2.332933333333333,286,9,55,4,4,94,54,72,0.126,0.8009999999999999,0.073,-0.4295,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,2,4,0,8,1,0,0,1,18,14,8,1,5,9,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,7,11,0,7,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,6,5,41,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661348226049048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081354087925061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881090774827685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009750501517024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020795332221667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17852695801153254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612293869804586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259792044532565,0.0,0.2023426222877154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557067851248481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956104653417593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996220318570493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933322161679872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542156236898655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4625190341939746,0.0,0.0,0.22083031241673715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412396369304716,0.25872055481182626,0.0,0.16027478493954586,0.23544248257980355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21893655271108367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RubberDuckHuh,2019/01/19,"I barely survived today I woke up and saw no color just grey. It feels like I have a 90lb weight attached to every inch of my skin. I laughed at a wall and almost pissed myself laughing so hard while asking the wall to kill me.

I do not know why this happened but holy shit it was terrifying. ",1.3351366120218555,3.36251073770492,2.8831967213114744,92.4994398907104,80.96721311475409,4.722404371584699,20.002732240437158,5.46131890053228,-0.20890382513661174,229,6,49,1,6,75,52,61,0.265,0.608,0.128,-0.9093,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,3,0,3,0,3,4,3,0,0,8,9,5,1,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,7,8,3,5,6,0,7,0,0,3,0,1,5,2,1,3,30,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30259458722661203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28250214592172945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546038621943582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279379557650194,0.21588099602717575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26722116242382504,0.0,0.27069836926546176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343228861598989,0.0,0.16607295136870376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476323076571092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101885192469577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864360088169538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679798725592141,0.0,0.0,0.2726749248188202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-thelastword-,2019/01/19,"I’m relapsing hard and I feel like I’m a little out of control For the first time in months, I went to cutting. I hate that I did but something in me just pushed me to it and I hate myself for it. I don’t have a really good support system as much as I wish. This is probably stupid but I just want someone to touch me, not even in a sexual way, I don’t even think I want them to touch me like that, but like hugging me and just being near me and holding me close. I guess like cuddling, but I don’t want sex, people think guys only want sex but I just want someone to hold, a girl just because I’ve been shit on so much by guys in the past that I can’t trust them as much anymore to an extent. I just crave a human touch. This is pathetic and I feel like shit because here I am talking about “oh hey someone come cuddle me” but that’s literally all I want, just someone to pay me mind and tell me everything will be okay. It hurts me just seeing people happy at this point even though I also just want to see people happy because of the shit I’ve been through between my mind and the shit I’ve gotten through the hellholes that were middle and high school. I’ve told maybe three-five people what I’m going through since I’ve gotten to college and I just want someone. But of fucking course I have a general anxiety about talking to girls. I just want to ask someone out and have them give a shit about me. I wouldn’t mind if I passed away, I don’t want to hang myself or do something rough but if it looked like a natural death or an accident, I’d be happy. Honestly, the only things I’d miss are my car, my folks, and a few people. That’s it. I’m so goddamn lethargic all the time, I sleep in such a fucking weird schedule. I just can’t actually get to sleep because my mind is always racing 100mph.

tl;dr: I hate myself so someone just save me from myself.",2.5338167938931297,3.6796161094147593,3.9312137404580163,90.21025572519085,74.92875318066156,6.563155216284986,24.29592875318066,6.88968998030894,0.7365922646310432,1453,44,321,13,30,480,167,393,0.17800000000000002,0.638,0.184,-0.7609,0,0,2,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,3,2,27,31,12,0,19,1,24,14,7,1,2,69,63,31,1,14,26,0,7,6,0,2,0,0,0,5,16,15,0,3,4,0,1,7,8,15,0,1,8,10,52,16,41,50,7,31,0,2,3,7,15,16,7,5,12,206,68,3,0.0,0.0,0.06499611452060045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326337360008916,0.05542004964096977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050952048798639286,0.0,0.06605349278520138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062265958215878686,0.0,0.06257686060863164,0.0,0.0,0.16240526618835002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737364114491832,0.0,0.0,0.07470230031047034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319743847106261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598595815634305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735419343432462,0.09516414138641394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665351862321037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314906306109832,0.034797957876113714,0.0638928403804472,0.03785271520278391,0.05586446279277881,0.0,0.0,0.07337206139168477,0.13189730585556747,0.0,0.21270430377023367,0.05966430199953136,0.19727364525744734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037101912589498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130119897287028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19523675623557613,0.06675492966799634,0.0,0.0,0.0559307731747887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691289488589554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690051166801577,0.0,0.05316285588667835,0.0,0.1468853039181412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013110267943923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358126791160645,0.2308749121713539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296251974943287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181061817285704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04266837117732138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740703017704383,0.1061498859634683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418413923097698,0.05509570208332908,0.0,0.13330464887414173,0.0,0.39503479799720825,0.1025503707279146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558168371734088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070679041148002,0.05821502718170672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04424888667495458,0.085354594325513,0.06543831158106736,0.0,0.07767491687008468,0.0,0.0,0.06364318997157248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928489677253918,0.05286733257249311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06174278261503199,0.0,0.0,0.07659157019411368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KeepitonThisChannel,2019/01/19,"Stress, Depression, and Memory Question I'm primarily looking for some practical advice or guidance if anyone has any to share.

For some background: I am 29. I spent four years in the Army. Never deployed, never had any major head injuries (slammed my helmetted noggin into the ground pretty hard once, but it just gave me a headache for a night, never noticed any lingering effects beyond that), and had one major injury that affected my ankle and spine. It was a fairly stressful time, and following my time in service the VA diagnosed me with ""adjustment disorder with mixed depression and anxiety."" 

My question is how does stress and depression affect memory and cognition? I've been out of the military for over a year, my stress and blood pressure is way down, but I'm noticing more and more that my memory and my attention seems to be shot. I have a difficult time remembering details, I have a very hard time finding things (I looked around my kitchen for 30 minutes today trying to find a thermometer, including looking directly at the thermometer 10 times, and I still needed my girlfriend to come show me where it was), and it seems fairly difficult for me to follow mundane plans or directions for routine life events like returning phone calls or planning shopping trips.

If I don't write things down, I may as well have never heard them. It's like I permanently tune out information if I don't specifically stop to take note of them. I've started using Trello to keep track of my life and I've been using another web service to record notable life events because it's getting harder to recall the details of those events. Finding things that are not specifically where I put them is almost impossible. 

To caveat this: my abstract reasoning and memory is fully on point. I pull straight-As at college, I can discuss political events with great detail, I can ramble about philosophy or programming with seemingly no deterioration from when I first learned what I'm talking about, I can remember the plot points from TV shows for over a year with about 80% accuracy. Anything academic or distant I can fully grasp and retain. Anything that has to do with practical life or mundane memory seems almost impossible for me to work with.

So, my questions are:

1) Is this likely a symptom of depression or stress? If so, what are some logical courses of action to address this?

2) Does anyone else experience a similar cognitive decline? Is there something that you're doing about it?

3) Does this sound like something that can be worked on, i.e. something that I could do exercises to improve? Or do I just need to get used to living my life with a bunch of lists?

4) Is there any specific name for what I'm describing? If I were to see a doctor about this, is there a term for this experience that would sum up what I'm seeking help with?

Thanks everyone.",7.144395387913555,8.111467707456981,7.286893794541978,71.04706703748771,64.08604206500956,10.698858566544992,35.73376209513877,10.637119530657019,4.086969917144678,2293,104,380,57,33,740,263,523,0.11,0.825,0.065,-0.9767,0,0,3,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,3,6,20,20,0,6,20,0,40,13,3,8,4,92,70,35,0,9,18,0,2,4,1,2,9,2,2,0,30,29,1,3,20,5,2,7,8,12,1,3,10,8,41,8,68,55,9,54,0,4,4,0,18,21,0,26,29,257,71,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604391770589449,0.0,0.0,0.13535453709696618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384224604992414,0.07086944985886771,0.051702839399338264,0.0,0.0,0.09451491976017527,0.06924948819305851,0.1112344671615616,0.06016555997946961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04119958663746257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901250803432453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582190554415978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05396164426347064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328456948779641,0.06859801492174193,0.0,0.0,0.07745901345127232,0.06917677948664888,0.17743398064196514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564591405100185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458098756667982,0.0,0.13222347421014544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18531618671628616,0.05748832174264777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062142818255789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451342080657432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210869394613144,0.0,0.06936237823062337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530123842514858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007323357879106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238688726577276,0.13207574429294025,0.0,0.05967936964596411,0.0,0.17026477940259846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022781034797514,0.20850488784030408,0.0,0.0,0.06342455677193518,0.0,0.0,0.15389342732725692,0.0,0.07197651447129773,0.04579778746542372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277805750126981,0.0,0.0,0.06875890637492467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794224834315156,0.2271341965064215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694893074494906,0.0,0.0,0.15312273916587968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385701493493074,0.2461097598657341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560922123772253,0.0,0.0,0.0478374729108848,0.0,0.053973989627317705,0.05650463202316632,0.3870956846521468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024737133994204,0.050815999764778255,0.05432278761888666,0.0,0.06222378867629205,0.0,0.0,0.13470271374538675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19704868827562186,0.0,0.06406329626822814,0.0,0.0,0.045886221810131037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511691226799458,0.0,0.055765241699361534,0.0,0.05364634533675538,0.0,0.0,0.060767618574750465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840632035434052,0.0,0.0,0.048010908619599564,0.0,0.0,0.13056883355504095
mentalhealth,OadyMoady,2019/01/19,"I believe that my boyfriend [29] has a mental health or personality disorder issue, he won't go to get diagnosed or treated, what do you think might be wrong and how can I help him? \- Gets furious very easily over nothing, screams and swears at me for no reason and out of the blue. 

\- Continuously misinterprets what I say and then screams at me for what he thinks I said, when I actually said something completely different. It feels like I am talking to someone who twists everything around.

\- Has not had a job in over a year because he says he is too good for jobs that he thinks are ""below"" him so then he doesn't get a job. 

\- Seems completely irrational about everything. 

\- Said he is the most intelligent and talented person going for every job and he is overlooked because the system is rigged. Now he no longer applies and for every job he says he would be better than all the candidates. 

\- Says he is not depressed (when I asked him).

\- Says he does not have social anxiety (when I asked him) and then yelled at me and became furious.

\- Only has one friend who he favours over me. 

\- Drinks alcohol during the day and thinks it's funny. Sends me photos of him drinking and doing nothing.

\- Sleeps till midday every day. 

\- When I asked him what he did that he just sits there all day staring at the wall doing nothing. 

\- Says that he is very unlucky but yet won't do anything to change that. Refuses to apply for jobs. He keeps saying to me ""why did God do this to me?""

\- Obsessed with social media and is on it all day, posting etc. When I asked him why he does this he became furious and shut down all his accounts and then said that people were getting ""inspiration"" from him (!?) and that now they wouldn't because I made him shut them down (I didn't).  

\- Has cheated with me before by sexting women online but denies it ( the woman contacted me with proof). 

\- Said that he hates women and people of my race. 

\- Goes into rages with no reason, just yelling incomprehensibly.

\- Accuses me of all types of thing. 

\- Has a phobia about getting a bad illness and dying.

\- My friend died and instead of consoling me he said ""too bad it wasn't me"". 

\- Told me that he is someone special who has been disrespected and overlooked by society and when he dies people will appreciate his genius and gifts like Gandhi or Jesus. That he will be world famous. 

\- Tells me I need to lose weight and work out even though I work out every day and am at lower end of healthy weight range. 

\- Tells me I need to work harder even though I work hard every day and he sits at home doing nothing.

\-  As he does not work, he borrows money for everyone he knows to support himself. 

​

Despite these things I really love him and want to him him. 

tl;dr - my boyfriend has some very troubling symptoms, what do you think is wrong with him?",3.809407963310399,5.816319238273923,4.4601025641025664,84.18211965811966,73.31519699812381,7.139278715864083,25.91573900354389,7.946510646118237,1.5522391411298728,2186,75,414,32,45,697,241,533,0.14,0.762,0.098,-0.9833,8,0,4,0,1,0,115.0,0,2,2,7,24,29,6,1,13,0,46,11,1,4,6,75,80,46,3,5,11,0,4,2,2,7,5,18,1,5,28,35,5,2,11,2,3,3,13,16,0,1,15,24,56,13,56,55,8,53,1,2,2,1,87,23,0,7,25,270,84,12,0.0,0.0,0.05426864561815991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059431609763910535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025486344531025,0.06757386482840286,0.0,0.0,0.04254252273643451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045763394266858,0.049505882715788735,0.20795638295711813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286629170109824,0.1017004697392918,0.0,0.047321154205939284,0.0626549363568219,0.0,0.04918371085055312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058829423713925265,0.0,0.11661486347253322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21518828137995016,0.0,0.04789796548656023,0.056444339293285135,0.17314737246021708,0.058102013826642734,0.06373541335787286,0.0,0.14599757466653748,0.0,0.0,0.10895588310282353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049255140747702465,0.0,0.062021344077150986,0.07346153091726387,0.0,0.2342747614186298,0.05313901835596354,0.09995977275495567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02811876433956554,0.039728752268867566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593036636799131,0.0,0.14527314887537876,0.0,0.06321041195082308,0.04664415336688015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049816837285576315,0.0549046848068937,0.0,0.059112253709978274,0.0,0.0,0.0372751088350322,0.0,0.05578270809661695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058043790477482586,0.3311140427199714,0.0494299140060298,0.0,0.0,0.030562537995036682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433778318358504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062214864412768876,0.0,0.0,0.050191405386317216,0.05262079435010285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604315059743732,0.05899484334669701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824702076344061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21344232155881468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03768368308513286,0.04229492986518594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566170270175022,0.09711535377794296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0532602911397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035626048289275035,0.11435543875166278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173947141434155,0.30957058642466456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062647514326088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055651501650234365,0.11337751526151572,0.09423861550351216,0.04281232630667645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310708938732305,0.0,0.057801475259838274,0.0,0.044698288415714514,0.09721352431841958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389140620706272,0.1781675053000643,0.1092757180098238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313901835596354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765553829108762,0.03280100905753693,0.0,0.0,0.13543926020235833,0.0,0.0,0.10036116876814206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024285885320726,0.0,0.0,0.03950470023068667,0.12160454012632466,0.06757386482840286,0.03581187954547913
mentalhealth,DylanMT0,2019/01/19,Sleep struggle I don’t know what’s wrong my life’s going fine but for the past few nights I’ve not been able too sleep at all I’ve just had the urge to lay there and cry it’s awful. ,-1.3569767441860456,0.4494784186046559,0.38725581395349096,107.60367441860464,90.3953488372093,3.44,10.925581395348836,3.1291,-2.1773125581395347,144,1,40,0,5,46,36,43,0.268,0.701,0.032,-0.8873,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,1,3,3,2,0,1,6,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,3,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,20,4,0,0.2959598168984757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250979616606111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682007843400606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626517753495241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20904517124701547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27773823929138824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28252713378091315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5923471110774632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094014603878518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235855992280691,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stare_at_the_sun,2019/01/19,"I locked myself in a room while my friends are out having fun. Last weekend I went with a friend to the mountains to party for a few days. The first night went well, and the next I stayed in the room until the night time when everyone was already drunk. Now it is happening again tonight, with the same friend, but at their house. I am not sure why my anxiety keeps getting the best of me, but it is definitely a downer and makes me look bad. Hearing everyone have fun while I am stuck in a room in my head is a blow to any shred of self esteem I have held onto. I think part of it is the fact that these are all people who have college degrees and stuff and I have not taken a typical path in life. No one has treated me as less than when I go out, but I sure feel like I am..",4.912818428184281,4.0871538048780485,5.475203252032522,88.26383468834688,68.87804878048779,8.75230352303523,27.978319783197843,7.793537801064563,1.3336457994579942,600,16,141,6,9,194,100,164,0.106,0.731,0.163,0.8797,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,5,12,0,0,15,0,16,3,1,1,4,23,30,13,0,0,5,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,3,1,7,8,1,2,2,2,0,3,3,1,1,2,6,3,19,11,21,24,6,32,0,0,1,0,7,12,0,0,17,103,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821893212824676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366294932274983,0.0,0.11661452001713266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727921777920198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599740942250779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983097872133762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29132175156388673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707714531289497,0.1089016136964013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966353733166855,0.0,0.0,0.3533192598020635,0.0,0.07964247269695209,0.0,0.08663392972012833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480026652331825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644518828330506,0.0,0.17180850928763147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589278506448602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549374427117974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425717418752673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767134496549877,0.07447342208648555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280093817962289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175343287505564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162119357831767,0.2861051474613313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329581634534747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650753111209585,0.0,0.10568119516944367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902589847410856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247844053033447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450484089006213,0.0,0.0,0.2873416948611593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767600403923883,0.0,0.0,0.088887722493482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705991305323587,0.2826227847138661,0.1375514282117559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,that_shit_hurted,2019/01/19,"Why Can’t I Love Anybody? I don’t feel like I love anyone in my life, including my family and my girlfriend.

I’m not saying I’m a sadist who likes hurting other people; quite the opposite, actually. My problem is that everyone, including “loved ones”, feel like nothing more than acquaintances to me.

Getting myself to say  “I love you” feels like nothing more than saying “Hello,” in the sense that there is no emotion behind it. Any time I do try to show affection, doing things like hugging or kissing, I feel like I’m only doing because I feel like I have to. This causes me to feel like I’m trapped in my relationship with my girlfriend because I don’t want to break up with her and break her heart, but I don’t have any special feelings for her, and I’m scared that I always act too cold towards her without even realizing it.

I haven’t been medically diagnosed with depression or any other mental issues, mainly since I haven’t seen any therapist for more than one session, so I can’t say if it has anything to do with depression.

I really want to love people back, but I just can’t and I don’t know how to even start fixing myself. Do any of you guys know what could be wrong with me?",5.7152983725135575,5.772352202531646,6.546320072332732,78.28034810126584,67.05907172995781,9.47185051235684,31.274562989752866,9.23628265651192,2.6113221217600966,940,34,182,16,14,312,120,237,0.104,0.721,0.175,0.8611,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,1,8,22,0,1,3,0,22,11,1,3,0,34,46,11,0,5,8,0,7,8,2,0,3,4,0,1,12,9,0,0,10,1,0,1,12,6,0,2,2,13,34,16,27,42,4,11,0,3,1,7,21,5,0,3,11,123,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.08462364618484146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215580049600248,0.0,0.0,0.2948539339776234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060634802956659364,0.0,0.07136100856292761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666803065164476,0.0,0.10572421048432053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908262870049334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923676548496754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937909130173924,0.08801630744758697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754537194224312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455201304045586,0.0,0.0,0.08286216537639343,0.0,0.0,0.08174942090897877,0.0,0.3069283628263339,0.3717054483748727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530624787316993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586383221352173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276050364433163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283274052517032,0.0,0.0,0.0905104067485682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531519986698546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125104455767559,0.3389258225421873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913290706402256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873586294117915,0.08739071508455548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641531490902106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175238713999108,0.06595246923071338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202378143656733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829768138064878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223459964040502,0.0,0.0,0.055553369188687536,0.0,0.0,0.0931020047260853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27584453997522496,0.08681921759033236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173350643794761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06137900241054281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068555292334112,0.05761116887791325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050565597121714635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05887540348005903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022963058455964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824894043136417,0.0,0.0,0.08359245233252828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481183343441414,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ticab678,2019/01/19,"I HAVE A QUESTION        Hey, I'm a 16-year-old male named Miles. I have a few questions about certain actions that I do.
1. I like to toy with people's emotions. I'm VERY good at lying (I tell the truth just as much as I lie)
2. I like to study the body language of humans, mostly through the internet. I use the information I gather and test it on people in real-world situations.
3. I dislike most people and find them annoying/repulsive. Yet I still find that peoples minds and the way they work are fascinating.
4. I enjoy making social situations and interactions as awkward as possible as a means of seeing how people react, not vocally, but through body language. This is not the case all the time only when I'm in the mood. I have very keen senses when it comes to reading body language. I use this acquired skill in an effort to seek out weakness and anxiety. I either ""sympathize"" with them to become ""friends"" for later uses or I do what is mentioned below
5. I find it very amusing to assert my dominance over others not through violence but through intense unwavering eye contact and other body language. It's like staring into a dog's eyes and waiting until the dog looks away but you keep looking, like a primal instinct of dominance as I wait and watch them submit and accept the fact that they are lesser than I and that I'm the leader of the pack, that I am the Alpha. (Also It's not like I'm bullying people because they are weak because I don't go for weak plebs I do this to the ones at the top of the social hierarchy.
6. Generally, I am ""nice"" during conversations but I tend to use the rule ""keep your ""friends"" close and your enemies closer"". I say that because I like to become ""friends"" with people I hate until I become close enough to get some dirt (personal secrets) and then use that dirt against them later.
7. I also tend to befriend people for the purpose of using them
I know that there is (or should) be
something wrong with that but I beg to differ, in fact, I find it quite entertaining. Something weird I've noticed is that (sometimes) people that I haven't even met before think I'm creepy yet I've maybe seen them once and have never spoken with them before, which is odd because everyone usually likes me from the start. I think my actions might be slightly different from other peoples. I should feel bad, but I don't. Could there be something wrong with me, if so what?

I'm open to any and all questions you might have.",3.418624166199912,5.394756549060543,4.560078415397936,83.17766434136159,74.32359081419624,6.8443607108304905,27.13177860379857,7.678348718463194,1.667967829319212,1933,74,361,26,41,633,232,479,0.107,0.768,0.125,0.6039,1,0,3,0,0,0,66.0,0,4,10,6,14,29,1,1,26,0,29,9,6,9,7,87,64,38,0,4,15,0,1,7,3,4,3,1,0,3,26,26,0,4,15,4,0,4,8,9,0,1,2,10,54,19,57,54,9,37,0,0,8,0,37,18,0,11,21,244,80,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470588459706633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044518959742587336,0.0,0.05008112499172871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150723379379711,0.0,0.05466117266969142,0.15962927158114473,0.21690535599174066,0.1114130750178044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290870791746109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639295300498255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052269080045005474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679556498097398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073640165284381,0.0,0.06764362718140204,0.0,0.04323951514046456,0.0,0.0,0.0625553363797959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033101453814273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23933806389874074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173604461547818,0.0,0.03420315608382565,0.0,0.037205698417323636,0.05490957105135387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463388171596622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637794575573175,0.0,0.0,0.035978268023185184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22388283480212987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099494959788712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043698901212340116,0.0,0.06576915219998831,0.0713114014232204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388976456247177,0.0661017524786625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04812486405302273,0.0,0.05049122770929624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453319835931986,0.06869529954786796,0.06971889473737816,0.04436129127619764,0.04978965827244455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.453857130636786,0.0571621739653413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380280471637984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22000989147376604,0.06963089101223376,0.06548347306084631,0.07451436385485456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206099764681079,0.0,0.0,0.05216773252635305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717250776998433,0.0,0.133468190126881,0.0,0.15119621454289678,0.06474730772424106,0.0,0.04633699982382634,0.0,0.05228103818341868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572199572230312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389562751298968,0.0,0.0,0.03817360942507119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3392483690778219,0.07210128251010824,0.16204831720182652,0.0,0.05196367080361693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047659850860191866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431530567982148,0.0,0.04215780119146236
mentalhealth,throwaway_acc7890,2019/01/19,"Low energy, no motivation to do much after going through a divorce. I am not sure what to do, but I know I can't keep going on much longer like this. Going through a divorce, it will be finalized soon. Everything uses too much energy for me even the littlest of things. Socializing, getting back into the dating scene, going into a head start of what I want to do for a career, all of it is just exhausting for me. Whenever I think about it, I just want to go back to sleep. I'm alone out here, and my family is in another state. My only support system are some of my friends out here and in other states, that's about it. Tried therapy for years on and off, haven't found much help with that. I have no idea what to do. ",3.7987755102040808,4.505890272108843,5.314428571428575,83.14307142857143,71.44897959183673,8.873197278911565,25.5843537414966,9.120678840339163,1.8176019047619048,558,16,118,11,10,189,89,147,0.105,0.7659999999999999,0.129,0.5693,0,1,0,0,2,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,11,6,0,0,6,0,13,3,2,2,2,24,29,4,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,12,8,0,1,5,0,0,5,5,2,0,0,1,0,12,4,29,26,6,26,0,1,0,0,5,10,0,1,9,94,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612781759249877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328520637282007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23947697570879364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285109306417194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995041706757216,0.0,0.14679824604884276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058282200605399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073811525367352,0.1203083028354869,0.0,0.08135687872628065,0.0,0.4424941789942277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598128709401822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437532787294723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578807401693589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841042031410858,0.0,0.0,0.08557922494550395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760765576939852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4578862510681599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843150322053993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558317041292164,0.1587361606536616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021888348454034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767083544963054,0.14676354607155442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807852835597626,0.0,0.10345294743454826,0.09977860488241937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572314605033896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449143091507826,0.0,0.0,0.1836944911466667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027808867972816
mentalhealth,First_Bar,2019/01/19,"What type of employment can someone obtain with mental health issues? I know many things like military, firefighter, and law enforcement jobs are out the door due to holding a higher standard. But what jobs could someone obtain with these type of problems? Any loopholes? I mean couldn't someone just not disclose it? ",6.473333333333336,9.552254481481484,5.010888888888889,78.37300000000002,69.0,7.282962962962964,33.022222222222226,8.238735603445708,3.0057600000000013,258,12,37,4,5,75,44,54,0.068,0.8859999999999999,0.046,-0.2869,3,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,15,6,2,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,23,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664217484670132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391135872956346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448454571106429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404198371731956,0.4571627937093256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265913260991601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253469904259528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23353319285091775,0.0,0.2509127139287958,0.0,0.0,0.2321331021022102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22040860030520126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5855105018573321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303066618032282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HologramzForExample,2019/01/20,"I don’t wanna struggle anymore I have problems with my head That many other people wouldn’t be able to understand. I’m diagnosed with Bipolar, Agoraphobia, and dyslexia. It’s a unique grouping of struggles really. With bipolar I can’t trust how I feel or what I’m thinking because it’s always subject to whether or not I’m in a low or high and it’s usually not true. It makes my life a horrible routine of never ending horribleness. With agoraphobia it makes me so terrified to do things outside of my comfort because I’m terrified of panicking. With dyslexia it makes it so life around me is so much more harder to process and understand. This makes my life miserable and just lonely honestly even though I’m with the love of my life it’s just lonely. ",5.516506849315069,6.698897773972603,6.430027397260279,74.96668493150689,67.83561643835617,9.675616438356164,35.83287671232877,9.888512548439397,3.7789967123287673,609,31,107,14,10,202,80,146,0.214,0.6779999999999999,0.108,-0.9522,0,4,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,12,0,3,4,0,7,9,1,5,2,33,21,13,0,3,8,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,13,11,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,0,1,11,5,18,19,2,7,0,4,0,1,2,4,0,3,3,74,24,0,0.15567423294356458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953343261183473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438700816577747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385830721737747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18979513497281308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800606952085808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378811638276538,0.0,0.0,0.10282136266056642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871356966360253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597666750173888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447837421335698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4398292582482382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405020731594153,0.0,0.4156550372802367,0.15782923816774458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443847332033576,0.0,0.12006556545811932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079249119091479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895921666260098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997288998902022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.325489017544703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342304305735812,0.09974976262021316,0.15294914346579985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32412473328189345,0.0,0.0,0.1714531740973667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheFlyingDingo,2019/01/20,"Methods to catching self depreciation while socializing First post on any of the social anxiety/depression subreddits so I apologize if I’m bending rules here. 

Something I’ve finally noticed I do is I always attach a negative connotation to what I’m about to say in a conversation. No matter what it is I usually preface a sentence with “I mean this is JUST my opinion, but...” or “this sounds stupid but...”. 

I’m an automotive technician and I sort of run a car club, a few of my friends ask me for help with things I know I’m knowledgeable on (and I swear I’m pretty good!) and I ALWAYS attach something negative to it. I can’t even argue certain things because I usually just take the fault. So many more examples but getting on with it.  

I don’t want to do this anymore. Is there any pointers to coach myself out of this? I’m trying my hardest but sometimes it slips past in the natural flow of my conversations. 

I’m on a break from a woman I love very much, but I need to learn to love myself before we can be together. This is one of the many things I’m noticing about myself. It’s amazing what you see after years of not paying attention. ",2.302202770296269,4.6814880929203575,4.375802231627549,81.19161023470566,79.57522123893807,7.647248941900731,27.525202000769525,8.587818076936951,2.387302270103886,903,40,171,21,23,309,128,226,0.06,0.79,0.15,0.9675,0,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,1,1,0,1,9,9,2,0,12,0,11,2,0,0,1,29,29,13,0,3,10,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,16,8,0,0,5,2,1,4,6,3,0,2,0,3,24,6,30,28,3,22,0,0,1,2,16,8,0,4,8,120,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23009759944873626,0.0,0.0,0.1880519152442249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712320923151464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292605077554591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428597170577715,0.0,0.11765460301346756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908872911148714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132371559681292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146418631509231,0.0,0.11760940959071353,0.0,0.0,0.10682435066808793,0.0,0.07223853663866818,0.0,0.0,0.11597137557965127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267711673269108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598764939758691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495818191464992,0.0,0.0,0.28036104728303857,0.0,0.15061274672550298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016417826064068,0.10252285370552593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31483464083146245,0.0,0.0,0.09369295504018288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199101418299994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242108134455902,0.14066673261151955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995506603945272,0.0,0.0,0.11018049469543817,0.0,0.14424210856851827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818905576709869,0.0,0.21288860511618074,0.1367490985284992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395919638864287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755743454258676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387387371641644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045620191035215,0.11408433840363626,0.08155316081916897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903908921479006
mentalhealth,jenniferrco444444,2019/01/20,"I am very confused !! Ok so I don’t want to self diagnose myself, a second opinion would very helpful.
So today was a very emotional day for me, I was crying ab something specifically but idk if it matters but if u think it does feel free to ask. Fast forward me crying, I get into an argument with my brother n it’s not uncommon at all for us to get physical with each other yk like any other siblings do. so where jus going at each other n All of a sudden it becomes difficult for me to breathe properly n I feel like a ball ig in my throat which, is making it harder to breathe properly. Then my legs start to get wobbly n just all my strength kind of just left my body, I then start to feel nauseous,dizzy n very light headed that’s when I try to talk but instead of words coming out, I start crying n I can’t stop, my mom tells me to stop exaggerating n to stop being extra or something like that, for some reason that just made things worse, as I go to walk to my room to get away, my siblings just start mocking me n calling me crazy, which also made things worse. I wanted to go to my mom so bad, but bc of what she said to me I decided not to. So I text my best friend, I think she doesn’t really know how to deal with these type of situations but by her just telling me that she doesn’t think I’m crazy n also calming me down comforted me. I then sit down in my room 
 n continue to shake, shiver n cry for ab 5 min , I then start to calm down, then one of my nosy ass siblings come into my room n I start to choke up n cry again but this time I could control it. I get my shit together drink some water n for the most part I was calm for the rest of the day. 
I don’t know what to think of this, but like I said , a second opinion would be nice.",2.4814470055161557,3.2326583484042573,4.214515366430263,89.65018518518522,74.55851063829788,7.272498029944838,24.03230890464933,7.526774132740827,0.8568190701339633,1353,38,314,16,27,458,175,376,0.191,0.674,0.135,-0.9789,0,0,3,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,3,17,21,2,2,9,1,16,11,8,6,3,62,50,25,0,7,17,3,3,4,1,2,1,2,3,1,22,10,2,4,11,2,1,8,7,6,0,3,7,6,52,16,54,38,12,50,0,0,0,1,19,18,2,9,29,202,74,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898536880371608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054842136745734606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539324907105062,0.0,0.07576969781134531,0.0,0.06733615348531516,0.0,0.08906731920483954,0.0,0.0,0.08463314239643542,0.0,0.0,0.08957967475271195,0.0,0.0,0.08234871982050823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13893900747355142,0.0,0.0,0.090451497011596,0.06438937594176905,0.0,0.4429299579687484,0.10402016977182084,0.08314262322452046,0.0,0.0818541286490264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057397552366118,0.0,0.0,0.07900250923503838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071604632848522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233132582577325,0.057613614403101934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062307003249662436,0.0,0.2106713829265966,0.0,0.13749916971026055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827662001235604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05405540382243716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398053863224544,0.08864201258120136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762226080119725,0.0,0.0,0.15759851035199202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526186442883808,0.053831920821657164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890355542023915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546479076881773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873319044556019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051663978645838486,0.08291765757640841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342588285085298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413150626340891,0.0,0.08278209786429609,0.0,0.09064963380774052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417066827771996,0.0,0.0,0.34249049332045434,0.0,0.0,0.20227133791699112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648203078675498,0.14097655186712071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715541621106216,0.20669914584887347,0.0,0.0,0.047025409404733466,0.0,0.07644310553887791,0.0,0.0,0.054753431386449385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700736977422103,0.0,0.0,0.26616602672313483,0.09513435886857532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643706011314144,0.11457739980343908,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,royalje,2019/01/20,"Am I being irrational? So I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for around 4 years now. It recently got so bad I took the initiative to get myself a therapist and it’s been okay for the last two months or so and it’s sort of a long process because I’m super sensitive and pessimistic still. I’m actually supposed to be seeing a psychatrist next week to get meds and the whole thing is very overwhelming but also kind of nice to finally be getting some help.

Anyways, I’ve found that sometimes in order to not feel overwhelmed by it, I bring it up causally to my friends and sometimes I feel like they’re uncomfortable with it? Like I act very comfortable and easygoing with it which I guess isn’t very common. I also mention that a lot of things trigger my anxiety and that I can be irrational with my thoughts and sometimes just mentioning it makes it sound like an excuse, even though realistically it shouldn’t. But I feel like I mention it too much for my own good. Is this just me being irrational again or do you think I should just work on not mentioning it more? I don’t want to burden people with my problems.",5.2571515151515165,6.3427237454545455,5.791818181818183,79.66106060606064,68.36363636363636,9.503030303030306,31.93939393939393,9.725611199111238,3.0052212121212127,904,38,173,20,15,292,125,220,0.125,0.693,0.182,0.9488,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,16,17,0,2,8,1,16,0,0,2,0,40,34,19,0,4,9,0,3,4,1,2,0,1,0,0,19,15,0,0,6,0,0,3,5,6,0,1,6,5,20,11,23,21,6,20,0,3,1,0,9,4,0,6,16,123,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.12305886127406608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20168990565627345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929377210003498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225888326451657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052911858892812,0.07687154558952745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000720926485038,0.10861279147435038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329019675315986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128521159755152,0.1801767837895079,0.0,0.13814026068472368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826601924268664,0.09742727972715222,0.0,0.19765167975726766,0.0,0.0,0.10576966373563594,0.10085651816541112,0.0,0.13891726283622444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452454257621983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131742825402246,0.0,0.10279121331615793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464312734015049,0.0,0.0,0.11159766183122066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720871749191534,0.0,0.0,0.08417509003163166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400726013900703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006546399849546,0.0,0.09270060921530188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341125420123752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742431450899092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066405407387995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245120293572382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048819215874956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741588670967336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070644739217632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464159256673051,0.1675551730138961,0.08080205455110992,0.12389608465458908,0.10011212232651427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401056693483429,0.0,0.0,0.123184831904198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121458735005044,0.07437913324135187,0.0,0.10115265078203564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079009543302315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180487668458594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120654323969304
mentalhealth,viCalious,2019/01/20,Social Anxiety? Hi whenever I’m around people my chest gets very tight and I get unreasonably afraid. What medicines have worked for you guys?,3.5494000000000017,6.747739840000001,2.895500000000002,85.43525000000002,90.6,7.3000000000000025,22.25,8.07648339933343,1.9512,116,4,20,3,4,34,24,25,0.086,0.914,0.0,-0.264,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077142414187093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3580809074259722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203099762714347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982830953168789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27886414829825873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100353465023429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318920052825888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928371688134981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IndieDarling,2019/01/20,"Think I’ve been having mini panic attacks So I’m not sure how to explain it. But for a few weeks now I’ve been having these mini panic/anxiety attacks. I’ll be watching tv or reading, just going about my day or work and for about 2 minutes I’ll have this feeling of overwhelming dread and fear with elevated heart rate. They don’t seem to be prompted by anything specific. Then the feeling passes and I just kind of shake it off. Has anyone experienced this/have an idea what’s going on? I’m going to start seeing my therapist again next week but wondering what the populace thinks.",4.925152173913045,6.0693875478260875,5.920597826086958,78.21828804347828,69.17391304347825,8.532608695652174,30.02717391304348,8.841846274778883,2.4877173913043475,468,18,85,8,8,155,81,115,0.122,0.8540000000000001,0.024,-0.8241,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,8,9,2,5,4,0,9,1,1,1,1,21,23,10,0,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,8,2,0,5,2,7,0,0,2,5,4,2,13,19,1,15,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,4,8,52,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107231098289068,0.0,0.0,0.11980279129009705,0.0,0.14099572519805315,0.0,0.0,0.38984107052860695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104981695281199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280172267821807,0.17326623749154002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29212424086498673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030351311567186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19341858082757354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17842108535690085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221880845498492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020540289320408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138333347520754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653337983313507,0.15597874002573114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127318729213454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148306395146808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19893542478277773,0.0,0.2195716206715301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748723604965289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580763224620725,0.12473535277765785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlewingflier,2019/01/20,"Need help getting over past emotions. Am I right in thinking that one person can have such a large effect on your depressive state? Does anybody have any experiences of having to work really hard to get over somebody?

For coming on four years now I (m, 20) have struggled to move on from unrequited feelings I held for a straight male friend of mine. These feelings coincided with the onset of my depression and CBT would suggest that these feelings served as an important factor in the worsening of my mental health.

After basically four years of being apart from him since we’ve left school and having blocked him on social media to get some space, my feelings, although diminished, still exist.

Despite being in a relationship with a girl I care about enormously, and having gained a new circle of friends and experiences at university, I still love him. I still find myself crying sometimes about how much I miss him, or about how if only I was with him and could be happy.

It’s almost like my brain has inextricably linked my happiness to him and I worry that without someone getting past him I will never get to a better place mentally.

Does anybody else have any experiences like this, or any advice for dealing with this sort of thing as a depressed person?

Thanks

TL;DR - still in love with a straight friend after four years of being apart and not seeing him on social media. How can I get past this?",8.431611295681067,8.369310577519387,7.879313399778514,71.3951162790698,61.44186046511628,10.162126245847176,34.32004429678848,9.606745405546679,3.234590476190476,1131,41,188,18,14,356,146,258,0.1,0.733,0.16699999999999998,0.964,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,4,12,17,0,1,11,0,19,4,1,4,1,38,39,16,0,4,5,0,5,2,3,2,1,0,0,4,10,13,0,2,8,0,0,2,3,5,0,4,2,6,27,12,44,30,2,39,0,4,1,2,24,21,0,6,17,139,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034622873578688,0.0,0.0,0.09258060691861128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861828071994635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817691810983825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321066831385707,0.0,0.0,0.09426431890183117,0.0,0.0,0.07964203642690026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738180172366056,0.0,0.10155778276688096,0.0,0.09531733309287972,0.2388947893347441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618164756363772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723452211692168,0.10399974488910776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713170113202726,0.0,0.0,0.18699266840853407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450245016289155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21429215794874146,0.0,0.289824404389923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968407276811858,0.08282177003948317,0.0,0.0,0.09827563831919342,0.0,0.0,0.061970824732094976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004529313031796,0.0,0.0,0.09033795857990333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668889982330379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863463513133532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826532999141634,0.06796526820668211,0.0685544179837248,0.07130721095785487,0.08929388471612111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265008990486999,0.07031640597836028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26477707640836234,0.0,0.161456767152672,0.09659608859541848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922921926808398,0.0,0.0,0.09926236937115232,0.0,0.07895630321619729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935696784387334,0.07367488724709115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647996230887268,0.0,0.0,0.1884930278252733,0.07833705798431903,0.0,0.09144063514216254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295339621393624,0.0,0.0,0.09665433194757644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512039927113235,0.0,0.0,0.06142317925256253,0.05924160969063661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912358981403383,0.0,0.06730854434901938,0.09389282384998313,0.0,0.06567757762759383,0.0,0.0,0.17861450549708646
mentalhealth,thedannabanana,2019/01/20,"is there something wrong with me? help. (f14) i dont know what im gonna do. i feel like im living in a show where the universe gets to ruin me over and over.

i feel like crap every single day. i have depression, social anxiety, body image insecurities and suicidal thoughts, with one attempt.

my mom won’t make me a therapy appt even though she insisted on me having a psychiatrist and a therapist. that was last year. i never have a professional outlet and have never gotten close enough with a therapist to get diagnosed. god, i sound like a hormonal teen. but please, hear me out.

from the start, my mom and dad left each other when i was 6 months old. my mom and older sister raised me on the idea that i was worthless, fat, ugly, gross, etc. they would, and still, constantly bully me and continue to make me feel that way. i haven’t felt happy living with her, and i don’t know if i ever will. she is the person that has made me cry the most in my lifetime.

i have a really weird personality. im really loving and accepting, but i can turn snarky and disrespectful in the snap of a finger. i have really bad trust issues, since most people i’ve cared about have turned on me completely and hurt me in horrible ways. there aren’t many people i trust with my dark stuff, but there are moments i’ll tell or show someone something and instantly regret it. 

the school i currently go to is really bad. everyone thinks everything is joke, and think being bad people is okay. they all do it for popularity. thats what its all about. and i find myself stuck when i look at myself and just see the disgusting mess everyone else must see. i’ve been told horrible things about myself there, and i’m supposed to laugh because, again, it always a joke. especially about my image, that im ugly or that i act like im pretty when im just gross. i’ve been called an ice cream scoop and a whale and just plain ole fat.

there is one guy that has made me feel amazing about myself for at least seconds. he’s my favorite person ever, and i started to really hold on to him. then i developed feelings for him and he didn’t return them. that really sent me down a dark hole because he continued to be flirty and protective over me, and he still is. which makes me angry because he’s leading me on.

and there is so much more wrong with me but its just so much. im impulsive and make stupid mistakes and im paranoid and insecure and indecisive and i just feel abandoned all the time. i though i must have some kind of problem. i did research and i think i have BPD, but since my mom wont take me to therapy, i cant talk about it. and i saw on a reddit post comment that BPD doesn’t form in teens because their personality isn’t formed (someone confirm that for me?).

i don’t expect an official diagnosis, because that can’t be done. and im just really scared that i’ll break. because i want to die, i really do. but i also want to live. yet i think i might want to die even more.

please. someone help me.",2.7564624454432938,4.518565612956814,4.3417686144225165,84.95833854472023,75.59468438538207,7.778047032766597,23.26571558856101,8.554587454381133,1.4456090417562375,2337,69,482,46,51,782,269,602,0.203,0.667,0.129,-0.9957,2,0,2,0,0,2,77.0,0,0,4,2,35,41,3,4,24,1,51,7,5,7,9,104,95,50,3,11,15,6,8,4,0,8,3,2,0,5,25,41,2,3,17,4,0,4,14,24,0,3,17,15,76,17,49,67,17,56,0,6,5,1,36,21,1,8,31,318,101,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042745285171758116,0.04447607550964962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040890385057763705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388974779670418,0.195501869692066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059372761087731915,0.1346410269511462,0.0,0.05458013641242418,0.0,0.05449754501181337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604306425823008,0.057762271600402926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871415507072152,0.03447190841681783,0.0,0.046037849338717234,0.05425232495807858,0.11094879940088366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469962153202625,0.06264496499191036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04465201567855459,0.0,0.0,0.0552298687900514,0.05961274691739885,0.07060865442206468,0.09670020037520452,0.04503534152439575,0.10215073213352327,0.048038918890159585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621606374849946,0.07637177457495788,0.05132199032495867,0.0,0.048853862575049485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055852588083411085,0.0,0.03037781868675388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052925561892810655,0.0,0.05690030194847742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024392245442065,0.0,0.07165506205531896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057221123582350486,0.06034043489473576,0.519632832008911,0.055789661500345214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05566169412867172,0.058751285376374564,0.04357024921057096,0.0,0.0,0.058075401265719875,0.0,0.0,0.10445515379177002,0.0,0.1415964248682629,0.0,0.044885944836758514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824222356421624,0.10115453455130173,0.14271763243887825,0.05419160885988703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056703780258026776,0.0,0.25040782288059016,0.04266461701211771,0.0,0.07858626268102542,0.0,0.08245045387512111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560885413543459,0.0,0.07244047661640682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111699837175084,0.18668776346918872,0.0,0.11734777578756132,0.0,0.0,0.051191929225339064,0.054379569680990836,0.0,0.05114603415164032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739400936159964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351445137733933,0.054095948730784486,0.08518812909835025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843155579939407,0.0,0.0,0.05448725131626275,0.13586829226569191,0.08229942162782733,0.0,0.0,0.07566674133341526,0.0,0.0853731533743585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061189379653495066,0.058467456872690775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040189007443633885,0.04296243163728111,0.04671911991244088,0.0,0.12225329740376932,0.12412302888379527,0.035510917758513415,0.13699870017837815,0.1050319985621941,0.0424346593258836,0.03116810152914175,0.0,0.0,0.051075366066761635,0.0,0.0,0.11628014669168825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458154836905353,0.08485490326048785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037970536303924135,0.11688203121718385,0.0,0.03442112620657488
mentalhealth,EvanXK,2019/01/20,I feel like i’m not meant for this era I am a 16 year old boy who is growing up in a conservative family. I feel like my views on things are too outdated for this era and I hate myself for it. I wish I lived in the middle ages or a different time period. I am a transphobe I admit it and since that’s a thing now I don’t know what to do. I feel like i’m some old soul who is trapped in another time period or that my ideals don’t live up to today’s. I need help.,-1.3010124610591909,0.4438651214953282,2.1136682242990648,95.79019080996885,89.37383177570094,6.557320872274143,15.45872274143302,7.793537801064563,0.03839003115264816,356,7,94,8,12,129,63,107,0.071,0.748,0.181,0.7964,1,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,16,19,4,0,3,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,2,0,1,6,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,4,14,4,11,18,1,20,1,0,1,0,5,7,0,3,15,58,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687929544330093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961658141190714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17700032903421284,0.0,0.28480632264232364,0.40240032244030216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185370893102444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584937404782534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318618499574726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27518535349145895,0.0,0.33158525349911505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392192314490291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940381945521477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553143019377648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24947444848055825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189649107929502,0.0,0.17797142009965822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21591096599557646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090917411457575
mentalhealth,HeckinThot,2019/01/20,"I need some advice For a couple years now I've been feeling awful mentally. I started realizing it about 2 years ago and it's just been getting worse and worse. I think I might have some form of social anxiety, but I've never gone to a therapist to get anything diagnosed as I've never really had the opportunity so who knows. It's less that I'll have full panic attacks if I feel uncomfortable in social situations, and more that I'll just not be able to partake in certain conventions entirely because my brain will just tell me that I can't. For example, if I'm in class and people around me are having casual discussions, I absolutely can not bring myself to join in since my brain will tell me that I would just be intruding on the conversation an nobody would want to talk to me anyway. More recently however, I've been having these weird obsessive thoughts, where I will latch on to some game or tv show or movie or even some daydream I'll make up in my head, and it will literally be the only thing I think about for weeks, to the point where I won't want to talk about anything else. It's to the point where it's often hard to study and I can barely even enjoy things that aren't related to the topic. Could this be OCD or is it normal? I'm making this post to ask for advice on what to do to make things better and just generally where I should go from here.",10.970938628158839,6.2896098664259945,10.761736462093863,67.24296570397114,60.44404332129964,14.401299638989167,39.25234657039711,11.792908689023552,4.25254108303249,1091,32,221,23,10,365,148,277,0.092,0.8220000000000001,0.086,-0.1336,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,20,9,1,2,9,1,29,4,3,3,3,50,50,16,0,10,14,0,3,0,0,9,1,0,0,0,20,8,0,0,7,4,0,3,7,4,0,0,6,3,21,5,35,30,9,30,1,0,0,0,11,17,0,12,9,157,41,1,0.11471827517848705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22420274160998974,0.10169082924108266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877591665138154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880673168274695,0.10212358659557104,0.10724610146305838,0.13050859928345165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993119577227162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145899191362323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561270694213279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159320801901263,0.1269335895085295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643663450544255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958323985840714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154067764313958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601001365747796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198711279171232,0.0,0.06519703946762312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276504159430927,0.0,0.11773404655631795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304616389601593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297260184509375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560903935363423,0.12169796118567347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506214745486143,0.17695561194996814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239955267882386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724841767670125,0.0,0.13459717848876204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953120763084781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216891700534226,0.0,0.10986839656079488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349146460865827,0.0,0.11327045702291805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489614269359016,0.12894814780793146,0.0,0.23388166946283706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119818562305507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18441240827487398,0.20053765783730865,0.0,0.0,0.13319675939251038,0.22864117373011256,0.1470136772268891,0.0,0.09107349633603368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353276218965855,0.0,0.09202008064849476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23381544612662644,0.16298514251737362,0.0,0.0,0.14774961605710374
mentalhealth,HenriqueGalvani,2019/01/20,"What am i felling? Lately i've passing to some sh*ts and anything really cares anymore, i don't feel sadness, hapiness, frustration or anything.
I still can do all my tasks and hang out (besides getting too much anxious whitout any real problem, just simples stuff like wait for the bus and stay sit in my chair at work gives me some pretty bad anxious attacks) but i don't feel the joy of doing that, just anxious and basically nothing else.
Idk if this is some mental illness or just my head making myself looks like a victim (i have this felling all day, i can't just say if this is real or not), and i recently join into reddit, so i tought someone could help me to understand what-s going on in mt head???


HEY IM FROM BRAZIL I'M SORRY IF WROTE SOMETHING WRONG, COULD SOMEONE HELP ME TO FIX MY MISTAKES ON THIS TEXT?",3.711033653846151,5.498378843750004,4.328750000000003,85.94894230769232,73.0625,6.4230769230769225,29.18269230769231,7.010146845296331,1.6037836538461543,645,27,122,6,13,205,108,160,0.19,0.6829999999999999,0.127,-0.9131,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,3,0,3,0,12,3,2,1,2,36,24,13,0,7,12,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,3,0,0,5,4,8,0,0,1,4,16,4,13,21,6,18,0,1,1,0,6,7,0,9,6,77,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955001355865516,0.0,0.0,0.4462981964010284,0.13059569459785705,0.0,0.0,0.21673033824451005,0.0,0.0,0.14981019275333587,0.0,0.0,0.1099511035748738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342611808919489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21027880497625664,0.0,0.0,0.08492564446045812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000554892718599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331673361201081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879974529425915,0.12632382509201587,0.07483936769850795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702926903678549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17653076384170294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224191738182554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14854591464961847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866884458091785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058186121829396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790046350341701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270705964731033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680330028767556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263548827841115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397053463937153,0.0,0.12600433545493914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997717076993401,0.08436049838245477,0.0,0.13002261224953215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047208441550632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22315179349100325,0.10137720453353707,0.0,0.14741007897694494,0.0,0.14035821523059322,0.10516345631740084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15074731106774086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370882666300578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958679249338098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397638951320696,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,khall907,2019/01/20,"Is calling someone out on their BS toxic behaviour? I’d love to open up a discussion on this. 


I’ve had the recent experience of an ex telling me that I was toxic and manipulative because I confronted him about things that he did that caused me pain in and out of our relationship. One of which being his relationship with a certain girl (which I ended up being right about) 
His response was to refuse to acknowledge my pain, refuse to apologise and tell me that I was manipulative and toxic because now his own friends said that he needs to take a long hard look at how he treats people. 

This has got me thinking. If someone is blatantly refusing to own up to their shit and apologise - how do you deal with it? 
How do you get closure and how do you move on? 
How do you deal with someone accusing you of toxic behaviour and other negative personality traits, when you know that this isn’t you? 
When you’ve tried to have an honest conversation with someone about how you feel but they only meet you with defensiveness. 

How do you cope? ",5.8103846153846135,6.755975974747474,6.440909090909091,76.01213286713288,67.03030303030303,9.930691530691533,31.392385392385393,10.035473477838034,3.048200777000777,825,32,156,19,13,270,105,198,0.101,0.84,0.059,-0.6767,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,10,3,0,13,10,3,0,6,0,17,4,1,10,2,38,27,18,0,2,2,1,2,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,14,15,0,4,4,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,7,4,27,5,30,18,2,19,0,0,1,1,40,12,1,1,6,117,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609681946019345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147487925968231,0.0,0.0,0.14837819560389826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978196403215662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279296986036956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128863398116828,0.0,0.0,0.07303247929987405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159287846390986,0.0,0.07546318970453415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155207166354784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938858528447916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937965895369847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782358645816966,0.12129201838328467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036144585308032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351533810543516,0.0,0.10709936715535524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978753110066608,0.1098520387513068,0.307385637639288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013551575199688,0.12611818533056407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261565957983666,0.3101459323749309,0.0,0.1233497469030896,0.1373941531868335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482641132481032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4895293159326205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859982668042754,0.0,0.25249134765366715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959585657656832,0.09255040147285644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806430570424164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bwise0713,2019/01/20,"Why do I do this? I’ve sat here for 15 minutes trying to think of how to word this but screw it, here goes....

I don’t know if you’d call it self destructive per se, but that’s what I’m leaning towards. It’s become the bane of my existence. I’ve kind of tried different ways of working on this problem but nothing works. I recognize that what I’m doing, saying, thinking, etc., is NOT the way I should be taking whatever situation has presented itself in. I KNOW that I can be a better person, a stronger person, and not as defeated or pessimistic as I tend to be, but I end up there anyway. What is this called? Has anyone ever felt like this before? What helped? ",3.28777777777778,4.438088333333333,4.796481481481481,84.7191666666667,73.07407407407408,7.77037037037037,26.092592592592588,8.238735603445708,1.5945703703703704,515,17,106,8,10,173,89,135,0.112,0.7879999999999999,0.1,-0.3953,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,4,6,7,2,0,4,0,14,1,0,1,1,19,24,10,0,3,8,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,16,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,2,10,3,14,17,1,9,0,1,0,1,8,4,1,2,4,73,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224598303306366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19342500581315514,0.14902864835528246,0.0,0.0,0.15489440340478866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35766882291259555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18298084086498725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511935778730426,0.0,0.1953239990041416,0.0,0.15842140161699245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815894092270087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739060849626695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237818672610667,0.19250137931486125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855630691849831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804863077352494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058456656633157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758241215663633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927593525431173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827060389079854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686127417731772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168119329872188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22444137672676334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378129908649751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27803112416399384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803386011868853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550035766762093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,qidjcieoxojwnnn,2019/01/20,"Just want to talk to someone about body dysmorphia 17M, I only recently started feeling this way, but it’s such an awful feeling. Looking in the mirror, I know I’m not ugly, but I can’t tell myself that I’m right.

This will sound strange, but my obsession with how I look stemmed from comparing myself with kpop idols that are inhumanely attractive. I know they have layers of makeup and professional stylists with them, but I spend a decent amount of time thinking about what I would look like if I had their stylists. So, to comfort myself, I look up pictures of them without makeup on and compare my features to theirs (eye size, forehead, nose bridge, chin length, etc.) 

I take a lot of photos of myself that I delete immediately after—probably about 60-80 a day. I look in the mirror at least a dozen times, but sometimes, I refuse to look in the mirror because I don’t want to see myself. 

I see myself and say, “You have a nice face,” but five seconds after I walk away from the mirror, I feel ugly again. I really don’t know what to think of this, and I’d just like to talk about this with someone. ",7.230226225387515,6.164591788018434,7.220687054880602,78.43025136154169,64.2995391705069,9.734227063259322,33.091328026811894,8.575989854853784,2.4866718894009217,866,29,170,10,11,278,123,217,0.057,0.799,0.14400000000000002,0.9462,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,5,0,10,6,0,1,10,1,9,5,5,1,0,33,31,13,0,4,11,0,3,2,0,2,0,2,0,0,10,8,0,1,8,0,1,1,5,1,0,3,1,15,32,5,33,28,4,17,0,0,9,0,11,8,0,2,9,118,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464277979753538,0.0,0.0,0.08087112246680216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736048838860835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555770637790475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795612228567118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20123765763467646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21872702097502672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296264667118788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6684292222645775,0.0,0.0,0.11278671783306313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089742343237516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498835418152609,0.0,0.13099030984113685,0.0,0.0,0.11329486266279498,0.0,0.10550023250087782,0.0,0.0,0.2114330558131748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22481260809384385,0.0,0.13120870377964736,0.0,0.09390070255609637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974728572916268,0.21326159647778614,0.11595472740791547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17001226654306453,0.0,0.0,0.15471561636465958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649806302724914,0.1053030022315851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788396184593484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424114141930656,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sunny_hollow_,2019/01/20,"I have a problem. Essentially this. I have a problem feeling alone all the time. It resorts to me drinking or smoking, and honestly I'm tired of that. Does anyone know any remedies for feeling alone a lot? I have bpd and I just don't knownwhat to do a lot. So i get drunk and play video games (which I do love video games), but it is very unhealthy and I was wondering if there are any ways to combat this feeling.",1.2916666666666679,3.5685591190476202,2.659523809523812,92.61880952380956,82.80952380952381,5.161904761904762,26.0,6.42735559955562,0.8911285714285717,322,14,68,3,9,104,55,84,0.21600000000000005,0.6609999999999999,0.122,-0.8434,0,2,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,0,9,4,0,0,1,18,17,8,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,5,7,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,8,3,5,16,3,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,1,46,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199187352661832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757164974449515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417482825220135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255321886689146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17740382210456987,0.0,0.0,0.19859086851991914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075077548569679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591413693764043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141098198212077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446948328279008,0.1829649671784594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3879561002160978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820911749027002,0.23299968711636845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672672897647669,0.0,0.1609116811263915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21984389901739188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pharmafene,2019/01/20,Adderall has slowly taken over my life I have been a ginne pig for big pharma for years before I learned what the pills were actually doing to the brain 🧠 anyway I slowly ditched all of my scripts besides the Adderall.  I felt so depressed and hopeless.  And now I’ve gotten to the point that I’m going through my script and getting them from the streets.  Does anyone hav e any advice for a different medication to replace the Adderall with bc i obviously need something but idk who to ask..,4.136808510638296,6.263910925531918,4.683989361702128,82.40875,72.72340425531914,6.402127659574468,30.89893617021277,7.1686216300943375,1.961514893617022,393,18,70,4,8,125,70,94,0.07400000000000001,0.926,0.0,-0.6545,1,0,1,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,8,0,5,4,1,0,2,10,13,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,5,1,9,0,12,8,1,7,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,45,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.2628399242648303,0.0,0.0,0.263198871813862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18316248275709066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18833089491476054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517993554299537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291910631993246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30067587589963946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23198473957702986,0.0,0.0,0.2814061183925805,0.0,0.0,0.23570388285349395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258611527930295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072060584220886,0.0,0.15307383942103991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902449331657968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27133474594465884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971442885501586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25461620351503644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073534077711076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17344806748530978
mentalhealth,Buttcrackbandit65,2019/01/20,Guys I need help. Medicine side effects. I was put on the generic welbutrin 150mg for 7 days then 300 mg a day from that point on. When do these side effects go away? Does it take a while. Today is my 8th day on these meds. ,-0.6506250000000016,1.447755187500004,0.5591666666666697,105.30250000000002,90.875,3.2,18.416666666666664,3.1291,-1.1157333333333337,171,5,43,0,6,53,39,48,0.0,0.938,0.062,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,6,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,6,5,0,16,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,7,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26793414638753404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5517487108954658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24956121556915495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207324620739091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28237108502653385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19114882201139652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167685022091638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21145589554303967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695854157494373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866826865463686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21441838748886047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27031542716149803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DeadbeeT_beats,2019/01/20,"How do you determine what you want out of life? It seems like such a simple question for many people. I frequently contradict myself. I'll get very excited about taking myself in a new direction then quickly lose focus and momentum. To be honest I really just like playing video games, listening to (sometimes making) music, and watching TV/Movies that I get really into. Throw in some social interaction, sex, and exercise here and there and I would probably be good for life. It makes me feel lazy that I care so little about figuring out all the things other people are out there doing (relationships, career moves, social activities). Maybe I just don't have the energy for all that?? If I could be anything, I would be a creator (music, writing, movies). But I've only seen that as a fantasy. So I'm either living my life for other people's sake at the expense of my soul or I just don't have the mental or physical capacity to be as driven and social as most people. I don't even care enough about my mental health to commit to therapy for more than a few months. 

TL:DR I can't tell what I actually want out of life, so anything new seems like a waste of my limited mental resources.",4.321754385964908,6.10484907017544,5.807894736842107,75.9835964912281,71.45614035087719,8.926315789473685,25.824561403508767,9.444778638647367,2.4501035087719303,940,30,165,22,18,318,131,228,0.062,0.805,0.133,0.9347,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,0,3,16,10,0,0,10,0,17,7,0,3,3,39,33,18,0,6,8,0,1,3,0,2,6,1,0,0,11,11,0,1,5,5,1,3,4,1,0,0,2,4,21,9,29,23,8,18,1,1,2,1,12,9,0,8,9,120,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.1097505873332544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509986169510206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22933315395912585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979494526189709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620743649668598,0.0,0.07428272875370785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056866186104338724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751768065122928,0.0,0.0,0.09433114037333644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954609313285527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177522320556495,0.16483561228188898,0.11272047248502208,0.09930953372100232,0.0,0.0,0.12582068029122287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501438494417151,0.11402286630767687,0.1129872080517638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400178108747499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976928391660739,0.11953355370463525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21724071684575488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553545681946488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118790395175213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125736406500386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598765302515585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409719201845805,0.0,0.0,0.12074638899714095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20476963514733404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34393475501180965,0.0,0.0,0.1112317444261004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456043138766578,0.0,0.09830023643626654,0.0,0.1286146663553007,0.0,0.07471740945190912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279622395236048,0.13267071503930924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978523154044474,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nippleblossom123,2019/01/20,"Worried about my [28F] boyfriend’s [27M] mental health and the pressure he’s putting on me We have been together a couple years now. He is amazing and we are in love. He and members of his family have long-standing issues with anxiety, depression and alcoholism. He used to be on anti-depressants but stopped due to side effects. 80% of the time he is in a good state, but he’ll have a couple episodes a month I would say in which he’s off, sulky, and is open with me about his depression. We have talked about the need to see a psychiatrist and he says he will but doesn’t do it- in part I think he feels “better” within a couple days and doesn’t think he needs it but also can’t find a doctor accepting new patients. Last night we had a conversation in which we talked about the need for him to find a psychiatrist again. He told me I need to stay on him about it to make sure he follows through. I would do anything for him but also have a busy life myself, forget, and don’t know how to “remind” him in an appropriate manner that he needs to find a psychiatrist and/or therapist. Should I do research myself? How can I support him and be a good partner on such a touchy subject for him? I don’t want to piss him off when he’s having good days but I also want to be the best girlfriend I can be by helping him address a chronic issue. ",4.69754363283775,4.950038267399272,5.4553587588881705,84.55287653522952,69.25641025641025,8.474811463046759,28.87933634992459,8.313332769828598,1.7940645981469512,1049,35,223,14,17,342,136,273,0.08,0.769,0.151,0.9711,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,5,0,0,3,14,14,1,1,20,0,30,7,1,5,1,49,49,21,0,10,6,0,1,0,2,5,5,2,1,1,6,17,1,1,9,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,3,4,30,10,37,37,2,32,0,2,1,1,40,15,1,0,13,149,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029230366086244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24759349313347798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789497853883681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849270312058255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830486979591332,0.091274404207562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34257548407878324,0.0,0.13311441149750278,0.0,0.26666501085029376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563233968924528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729032367126307,0.0,0.05218238757838302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28297620285876995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596845928074327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096996474125099,0.0,0.0,0.06917459646401065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154336182513241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05671750663637814,0.08412397730256096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289512126152206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133114463814544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314446884450164,0.0,0.06888860569708745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040040511835076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823754129980753,0.0,0.0,0.3826174833359333,0.0,0.09967381374452708,0.0,0.09684874571048684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175847042034774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374722138691048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414186350641607,0.0,0.0,0.08223919266657022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000034994117404,0.0,0.08628208089737502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711320446323124,0.09726732631187604,0.0,0.0,0.16590084699541252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982629263929198,0.0,0.13225624999971414,0.0,0.0,0.06017832610801991,0.0,0.0,0.09861460546059483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891339998734435,0.0,0.0,0.1217432563488592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048073545699518,0.0,0.14662447849494514,0.0,0.0,0.06645915715873285
mentalhealth,Starsaremyh0me,2019/01/20,"What questions to you ask yourself daily to check in and make sure you are doing OK? I finally decided to try (and stick with) traditional antidepressants to see if it they would help with my long-term depression and anxiety. I have been taking my first (Lexapro) for two months. I also have ADHD. Telling these 3 disorders apart can be a challenge but it’s important that I do a better job so I can communicate this info to my doctor so we can make the best medication choices together. I have a wonderful psychiatrist, but I am finding that I am not great at self-analysis; therefor, not giving him the best or most accurate information, description of symptoms, how I am feeling, or whether medications are working in a way that I want and expect.  

I am a very open, verbal person so it’s not apprehension speaking with my doctor but more a lack of fundamental understanding of my own feelings or changes in feelings over time.  In my last appointment, he asked if my meds were working and whether I was feeling better and I honestly can't objectively tell.  He cautioned me on using outside influences to gauge my well-being and instead work on getting in touch with my feelings.  Oh boy :)    

I decided to start keeping a daily journal to write down feelings, symptoms, and things that pop in my head that I think could be helpful to share but I am hoping you all could share some of the questions you ask yourself to check in and monitor how you feel especially when it comes to meds. 

Thanks r/mentalhealth. This community is awesome and appreciate any insight you can give. ",6.573152468800871,7.665912106529213,7.130236932537532,71.22143244709716,65.39175257731958,10.38748417435341,37.30891662145053,10.426177893888326,4.194906529209622,1257,64,214,31,19,413,170,291,0.044,0.721,0.235,0.9961,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,6,1,9,8,15,0,1,10,1,26,7,1,7,2,69,53,28,0,9,14,0,8,0,0,1,6,1,0,2,14,17,0,1,18,0,2,1,4,2,0,2,3,10,36,13,32,45,8,23,0,1,1,0,29,14,0,11,7,160,50,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069055824160756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030931970678383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682920044988772,0.0,0.07682435602762354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816496444303262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107783279155698,0.17763436063966995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623565086392653,0.08650668889365692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16036135032018753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864953490495972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509501017859355,0.20557716357043004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35544299599814283,0.0,0.0,0.11000997123390606,0.09178604032435236,0.08542090431196454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05246758016490593,0.1926723824748214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107182049455037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030643597531376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462465542309918,0.0,0.0,0.09974404302917254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996556757312349,0.08926178016147218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818592520671227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887239322534017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406807236487694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22309763675267308,0.2023339431943468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015776135370029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768667246895143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22499651961320666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002520824802348,0.0,0.10476450308411624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108087472686553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464876528390848,0.20875871145651076,0.07550661633254371,0.0,0.1755506237654826,0.09245725283544587,0.0,0.0,0.06671747856846652,0.06434787116187272,0.0,0.0,0.058558248478153524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818154441918581,0.0,0.09810000174505956,0.10454529429312777,0.0,0.08673439841234147,0.0,0.08286060943749758,0.059232885964785535,0.07971217793087948,0.0,0.0,0.09029355483322277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089059282261047,0.21933037754113155,0.0,0.0,0.07133857985078135,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SweatyFeeler,2019/01/20,"I see things in the dark Every time i stare into the darkness i start seeing faces, familiar happy faces. Then it changes evil looking faces, demon like creatures start appearing then i close my eyes. This isn't a joke im just wondering what could be causing me to see these things. I dont do drugs, i dont drink alcohol, im not on medication, i haven't had mental health issues in the past (except some mild depression a couple years ago) 

Im 16 yo male from scotland. I thought i was just like a quiet kid but i have quite bad social anxiety but i don't think this is related. Anyone who can try answer, im all ears.",1.1298087739032605,3.4384532125984246,2.9998256467941498,89.71253937007873,83.8031496062992,6.148256467941509,20.88245219347581,7.447530270364453,0.7919790776152977,486,15,101,8,14,162,87,127,0.134,0.816,0.05,-0.8683,0,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,0,6,0,13,10,5,1,1,17,23,4,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,2,8,2,2,0,4,2,0,1,6,3,0,0,3,8,13,4,7,18,2,14,1,1,6,0,4,5,0,3,10,56,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570343208118215,0.13949260883989534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985204012998852,0.0,0.0,0.09126682084017668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898376599702374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340861669723127,0.13807921109662158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421439772116653,0.14442454705234575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242186086470096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059510224458648,0.1278657977029653,0.1513687319484676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997379268522928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894736441199362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874304460482265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5639619552650462,0.136235242370584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275368303999332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096089743048651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149122270700342,0.13153951769939878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460184555316305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388304780451463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120369913358912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330548293276891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847739629122204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734313619236789,0.08363579658545175,0.0,0.10362307177897367,0.07611076589929341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861859261171258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141549889617253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405447076233243
mentalhealth,sonnenburg0204,2019/01/20,. I don't even know where to start. Or where the start is. Or how to explain any of it. Maybe time will tell. Maybe it is a test. Who knows.,-3.566359447004608,-2.94552358064516,-1.6822119815668195,115.01096774193549,123.51612903225805,1.7714285714285716,7.654377880184332,3.1291,-2.8806718894009222,103,1,30,0,7,32,24,31,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,6,9,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,19,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357091566319656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714563971580533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613603899295394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.660575613840206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654019563618921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28735438349257664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170503674568545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bunbunii,2019/01/20,"how do you get over things? \[f21\] 

if something goes wrong whether it's controllable or not, i let it ruin my day.

if something goes wrong with another person, i blame them and never let them forget and if i forgive i feel as though they got away with ruining everything (if they did or not) i let this ruin the day and the following days after cause i can't let it go.

i understand we have regrets and can't control everything that happens and it's how we react to these situations that matter but how do i stop my brain from continuing this pattern and ruining my relationships with people ?

advice or links to similar issues would be great, i really want to rest my brain even though i've done everything so far i don't know...",4.206433566433564,5.812715937062942,5.323356643356647,80.05118881118884,71.44755244755245,9.116083916083916,27.685314685314694,9.573946990214177,2.5594391608391613,581,21,111,14,11,192,85,143,0.1,0.789,0.111,0.3725,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,2,1,4,2,7,9,0,0,2,0,14,2,2,7,1,41,23,22,0,7,11,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,10,11,0,3,5,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,3,1,21,2,11,14,1,12,0,5,0,0,10,3,0,7,7,84,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949825787382465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822945834806546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489344723838547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730273356194597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125623293139443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274312412474178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23659661248412206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514291349113948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076996224638121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297132650557343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183240413760191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389034698061143,0.0,0.06949899523052766,0.0,0.0978047535253621,0.1348227707244284,0.0,0.0,0.10813872936900036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763672923678146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720619647289665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.500190389591348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431591780354727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477898789498374,0.1067770213912738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834071899626767,0.0,0.0,0.1312913707440927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745665114041292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18828630094107512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223810644666312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124260432849098,0.0,0.2402943556414629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273059498186225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721285339453185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686976996928646,0.267405102843659,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shiba_inuuu,2019/01/20,"Am I going insane? At this stage I’m honestly convinced I’m going insane. Around 2 months ago I was diagnosed with severe depression (with thoughts of suicide) and was put on citalopram. My dose was recently increased (a few weeks ago). At first I thought I was getting better, my suicidal urges started to decrease and I have started to feel more myself. However around 5 days ago I started hearing footsteps in my corridor at home, whilst everyone else was asleep. It was terrifying and I couldn’t leave the room I was in because at the time I was convinced I was being hunted down by an organisation who were trying to kill me, and by leaving the room they would be able to track me down. Since then I’ve had a few more episodes of hearing things, yesterday I was driving and heard car horns going off very frequently, even if I were alone on the road. Today I was walking alone and started hearing a mumbled voice talking to me. I’ve also not felt so strongly about being tracked down, but it’s a thought I haven’t been able to get off my mind since (as we speak I am uploading this with a VPN so it’s harder for anyone to track me down). Has anyone ever experienced something similar/know what’s going on with me?",5.707468354430382,6.342177299578061,6.15596624472574,79.06888607594938,67.14345991561181,8.851645569620256,33.94345991561181,8.841846274778883,2.8611059915611823,968,43,180,15,15,313,134,237,0.092,0.858,0.05,-0.8014,1,2,1,0,0,2,24.0,1,0,1,3,8,7,1,0,10,0,25,3,1,0,1,25,46,13,3,3,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,6,3,0,8,13,0,0,5,0,0,9,3,2,0,1,20,9,27,5,35,21,5,49,0,1,0,0,9,20,0,1,19,125,35,0,0.21657006469778373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287964442896922,0.0,0.0,0.22430127291275545,0.0,0.08659550124710419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143082474150785,0.0,0.0,0.1927932731010943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600955065455152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576931142277956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983488766781885,0.0,0.09326573969048832,0.10990702845210114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045824969563432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152124260598032,0.09795001119467132,0.0,0.10347098886248107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054752165956776636,0.0,0.1039706124156391,0.0,0.0,0.092107193198533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314892020480805,0.0,0.24616351725369995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661353041209103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861871646780867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980134453175675,0.0,0.05951062188070513,0.0,0.0,0.229316428266202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933701407957294,0.0,0.08643207972141609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088563660372588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691840584089063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233126444520767,0.0,0.17914899549130392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336310823020474,0.0,0.0,0.3065788129461939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236892500035501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703540723791567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193976389880019,0.0,0.0,0.2578986603885972,0.06314187316780168,0.0,0.102641549230252,0.0,0.0,0.07351842894869345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934649221383607,0.0,0.0,0.08685972129781899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692258013129635,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ahmad1214,2019/01/20,"I won’t share my success I never got much support from my family as a kid nor from my wife now. When i was 17 I injured my ACL ligament while playing soccer but I was not taken to see a doctor despite not being able to walk for a week. I had to man up and not complain. My mom thought it wasn’t that bad for me to go see a doctor. I waited 2 years walking around with a knee that painfully slips out control when i do certain movements. No more sport. Felt like a 50 year old senior. Graduated, got a scholarship to study in europe and used my medical insurance to do the surgery there. I was alone in a foreign country. I remember the doctor asking me after the surgery if someone can pick me from the hospital and I replied by asking him to give me a number for local taxi. He looked confused. When I was done with the surgery, my mom skype called me and blamed all that im through on playing soccer and not listening to her etc. 

I spent weeks secretly seeing a psychotherapist. I tested the waters by asking my wife what she thinks if I went to a psychotherapist and she said “you are not crazy, are you?” Now that she knows Im depressed she sometimes tells me that I should’ve disclosed my depressive tendencies before marrying her cuz she didn’t know that im that bad. Cuz if she knew she wouldn’t have agreed to marry me. 

Despite all of that, i finished my studies and I am working in a well-payed job with good physique and health. My family and wife can’t stop bragging to others about me, as if they’ve contributed anything to my success. No one believed in me, but now that i’ve succeeded suddenly they share it with me. Sometimes I wonder, would they also share my failure have I failed? ",3.6852556561085934,5.127463385294117,4.60705882352941,85.32368778280544,72.5,7.4660633484162915,28.665158371040725,8.012643519586192,1.84666742081448,1341,53,267,19,26,435,178,340,0.147,0.738,0.115,-0.9462,1,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,2,6,10,20,0,1,18,0,21,9,1,5,4,49,47,25,0,6,11,5,1,1,0,3,7,2,0,2,13,15,1,3,9,5,2,5,14,8,0,1,17,7,57,12,38,26,5,32,0,3,4,0,35,9,0,6,19,188,70,13,0.10365143782153503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735162994502977,0.0,0.08289001737764852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529630165225603,0.09227175504211224,0.2907003073426135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308924211506313,0.0,0.0,0.08819973929700048,0.11677967592025175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583970694127877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625390117750335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854966302749692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182749160934784,0.0,0.10607140790199034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559875219120733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954267016728227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952163502472113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943190397976832,0.05890750076230032,0.08693790833554492,0.16579904712985358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101766314445446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358840185698683,0.0,0.10285805835864396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139282390148709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05063885688324589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704110248840477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044179189208774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427906224823245,0.0,0.0,0.0761957330861191,0.0,0.07994237875642066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876474794512336,0.0,0.07023689678816727,0.0,0.1102924378118522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741687341157067,0.0,0.09859625330870764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477903284406088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782352690455741,0.0,0.20502784473180108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665724322295677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176224233147679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059592527807653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641565609441671,0.0,0.08228766365234233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952156260180069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628586252417335,0.0,0.09319509063881752,0.09608592129988194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124055628431406,0.0754594812167439,0.0,0.0,0.07363100752338378,0.0,0.0,0.13349625522238032
mentalhealth,faerie_shroom,2019/01/20,"Simple minds I always notice people around me who seem not to have a care in the world. Example, one of my best friends a few years ago got pregnant on holiday, ""unexpectedly"" (she never thought about contraception), still 2 years later lives with baby and her parents, only recently got back with her husband who married her while she was pregnant because she was pregnant and she seems to never have a care or worry in the world.

I have never missed a day of my pill for the fear of getting pregnant, take a pregnancy test once a month while on my period just to be sure I dont drink or anything else if I am, and virtually never have sex in the first place.

I check every item of food I own to see if its in date once a week and have a photographic memory, but I still have to check.

I panic that my teeth will fall out if I use a toothbursh for more than 2 months.

I worry about EVERYTHING.

I would love to have a simple mind. Things seem easier that way.",7.700535194880742,5.924235691099478,7.946352530541017,75.89025596276906,63.81675392670157,11.001977894124492,32.740546829552066,9.725611199111238,2.7806853984874924,751,22,152,12,9,247,113,191,0.085,0.815,0.101,0.4795,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,0,2,14,0,14,6,1,1,5,29,28,12,0,4,8,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,6,8,2,0,4,2,2,1,6,3,0,2,5,1,23,6,25,20,5,34,0,1,1,2,13,11,0,8,21,110,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428063179968997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788578171989802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680757554466457,0.10472441036535612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045778556703132,0.0,0.07171216256238537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345576803706465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398833410622882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586797315390044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787303170933704,0.11524227008824553,0.0,0.0,0.09827300205739066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911665001066976,0.0,0.10572711451400026,0.0,0.0,0.13237754057504422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000643989592556,0.14225057733927193,0.0,0.0908882586947278,0.0,0.06146196784424007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18817467427478046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387814555839556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617456039854163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375654325778844,0.0,0.1877980168059168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629244279421904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393375247774794,0.0,0.2505652084259592,0.0797158090108526,0.0894704093451719,0.0,0.13802502070258768,0.13062513514096072,0.0,0.0,0.08155666190778359,0.0,0.12290860813384424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615516276877365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374373204576496,0.3212847120831234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18789467731092235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087416934596186,0.0,0.08845052907856922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815469113566309,0.0,0.0,0.09339290287045383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160306210909464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337703971449854,0.0943635942385132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389379624156953,0.0,0.08356797639726514,0.0,0.0,0.1515124168578602
mentalhealth,Glasscitymurderino,2019/01/20,"Time for a new drs? This may be long, I'm sorry.

I have been against going to therapy and getting on meds since being forced to as a child and teenager by my parents. Cut to being nearly 30, transitioning and giving it a shot because hey, maybe itll help now. I started  searching for a therapist who took my insurance and had experience with trans people. Last fall I did some searching and found Therpaist #1. She was okay until she even insinuated that me as a transman could breast feed a possible child my wife and I have. Any decent therapist would know that's a huge dysphoric trigger. So I left her last January.

Found #2 in April after my wife and I went through some really hard relationship stuff. She was great at first. Part of the glbt community. Well versed in trans issues and she had a therapy dog. She was great to talk to but she didn't really /help/. She never wanted to help control my anger or anxiety. She just said everything would be fixed after my gender confirming surgeries this Feb. I stopped seeing her this past Nov.  While seeing her i saw a nurse practitioner for meds. She told me I had a ""gender mood disorder"" and gave me seroquel(which is a mood stabilizer)for sleep and vistaril for anxiety. Telling me that the meds for anxiety where temporary and wed find one that wasn't as needed. Well my insurance doesn't cover visits to nurse practitioners so I had to switch to the psychiatrist that owns the practice. She is only in the office ONE DAY A WEEK. When I  started seeing her in August, she put me on Cymbalta for ADHD, even though I've never heard it used as that and its marketed for depression. I told her I wanted a different anxiety pill, that the previous med dr said wed find something that was more stable than as needed. That didn't happen. Last session I told her again about the intense night terrors and night sweats I'm having because of the seroquel. Her solution was to just up my dose.  The mood disorder diagnoses has never been discussed. I try to bring it up and it gets glossed over.

I'm now seeing therapist #3 who is an older lady that is just isn't with the times. I dont plan to go back and at this time and I'm not seeking therapy further.

However, I dont plan to stop my meds cold Turkey. I do NEED those meds. I just dont think I need those exact meds. It's really hard to find any decent mental health care in my area",2.9884588373000405,5.278247012875539,4.315991026141243,82.98265216543116,76.72532188841203,7.755676941084667,25.18318376902068,8.643655677312706,1.957688412017168,1892,68,361,41,44,623,232,466,0.08800000000000001,0.838,0.073,-0.8387,3,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,0,4,18,13,2,1,24,1,38,10,3,3,4,53,77,29,0,9,7,3,2,0,0,4,6,3,0,2,26,18,1,3,7,0,0,8,12,4,2,3,27,11,53,6,51,41,5,59,0,1,5,1,44,18,0,4,33,239,79,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628453324534518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633026085034487,0.0,0.19423259704241205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880830465350633,0.0,0.0773874588188539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647169235819564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119253364907051,0.050679568219742815,0.0,0.0,0.0409360800060224,0.0,0.05467086594241148,0.064425719868562,0.0,0.06631779401552701,0.14549554262174927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231764427900545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838491879123543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704717601683415,0.06209066340497647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17404481377652106,0.05399174475428885,0.0,0.1391939733763853,0.0,0.0,0.06632606430372358,0.06089093869686539,0.07214853330039064,0.0,0.0,0.13996267328753584,0.0,0.0,0.056130672760533504,0.0,0.11372214269430166,0.0,0.0,0.06747088452094759,0.0,0.0,0.12763772682666344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625133772903723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034884162628062834,0.15522162446011575,0.0,0.0,0.06896569937031713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617331740250926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637691008298596,0.0,0.4935443805646856,0.0,0.06396780201786621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18826343123440448,0.14686734204936666,0.061304484887091,0.0,0.11913384759130408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602451336859779,0.04827554609500248,0.0,0.0,0.07048140026201488,0.06873716579611472,0.0605940049561388,0.044005525626850193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155844857440781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380983857899954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199100047124198,0.0,0.0,0.06814832216468712,0.0,0.0,0.12075839193791768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202325210787117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525071197029364,0.0,0.06352077286179429,0.0,0.0,0.04886610377745238,0.0,0.0710549896327716,0.08985576718196751,0.0,0.0,0.10613577078443692,0.0,0.0,0.07266361092420136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05101874597401119,0.05547988836073788,0.0,0.21776734999733152,0.2210978652329826,0.0,0.040672173436205036,0.06236379843473881,0.0,0.11103822994699374,0.0,0.0,0.18195905312504693,0.07052298502542376,0.04309531224101396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05482196118403791,0.0,0.0,0.07487831897426207,0.0,0.0509157617215851,0.0,0.11414317384673045,0.05884189791531514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901815410515936,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jbooxie,2019/01/20,"Resources , or coping mechanisms for Low income mental health help? I am living paycheck to paycheck, unable to afford therapy or medication for my mental health problems. Recently its gotten to such a low I dont even feel like im living in my own body anymore.  I was wondering what others may recommend either as a healthy way to cope or a low cost option to help, because I honestly feel so lost.",6.040399999999997,7.157278906666669,7.251999999999999,69.78600000000003,66.6,9.733333333333334,33.66666666666667,9.888512548439397,3.680066666666667,318,14,50,7,5,108,53,75,0.166,0.6679999999999999,0.165,0.2256,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,3,0,4,4,1,0,0,10,9,5,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,3,2,6,2,9,5,2,6,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,6,2,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872661102771758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510747276650968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20974475049501606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22130438792600188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124718762722363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095368440725846,0.13489838193154235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014295401897945,0.0,0.0,0.253134144970786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20396607000319109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225156354780144,0.0,0.3334762300745436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20612748885131965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902238098515516,0.3805873530976381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806823865929657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864443458034711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21594066783635696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498824560841191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477533581887006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,janelanee,2019/01/20,"How to not fuck up school My anxiety and depression make it hard to focus on school and the rare occasion when I find myself studying I do it so badly that I end up forgetting everything. 
I really need some advice",2.9964285714285697,5.32075316666667,5.081190476190475,77.33464285714288,76.85714285714286,9.914285714285716,24.785714285714285,10.125756701596842,3.084171428571429,171,6,31,6,4,59,34,42,0.231,0.708,0.061,-0.787,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,9,4,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,6,0,5,4,1,5,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,23,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756574583622545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157999372841776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355353965380608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429657971173172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24985016403774202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535264871937866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578273710284813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26078990650813605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526994092129019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18829888790573185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20916796290592415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071563442861724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.570985199916326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lxh278,2019/01/20,"""I don't need [don't want] my meds anymore, i feel fine"" OCD Have you ever felt fed up of being on meds? So much so, you say screw it and take a few days break? The question: I don't know whether I'm well because I'm on them or if my brain is going to play ball from now on. 

I  (25 F) haven't walked in and out of doors for hours on end for over a year now.  I dont repeat things in groups of 22. I haven't consumed a 100% yellow diet for a year. I..I feel normal. 

Is it OK to feel like this? Is it OK to stop taking them? I want to be normal. ",-2.287847769028872,-0.6835528031496025,0.7198740157480329,104.98149081364828,92.77952755905513,3.3866666666666667,12.403674540682411,3.1291,-1.884019002624672,402,5,114,0,15,140,76,127,0.032,0.826,0.141,0.9014,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,2,0,6,7,1,0,5,2,12,4,1,0,1,19,26,7,0,6,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,3,2,1,6,2,0,2,6,1,1,0,2,6,13,6,20,22,2,22,0,0,1,1,7,9,1,3,11,68,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17935866131650405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024697523950984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20189297758195696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166359270018316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119596477073503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601830442775005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163592879391068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743357873833704,0.12920219873842728,0.1736482890575968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278354769283687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810484934112972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939267866410698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835617356390793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017762489034337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329485662148463,0.1341010168739893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35439722041840754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20259797231007398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438224321056185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120211817638027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719595377078029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201514218873165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21334485726569435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260954750169074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329282101244053
mentalhealth,mistress_meeple,2019/01/20,"Major anxiety (UK) Hai, sorry if this isn't really the right place. I'm real new to Reddit :3
Anyway,  been suffering with anxiety recently but it's been manageable. Been at work and college full time (apprenticeship). However since Tuesday my life got turned upside down. 
I had a panic attack while walking to college, and it didn't settle down once I got to college (where it normally would). 
I went home, and now, a few days later, I'm having anxiety about even gong to sleep. I'm finding it hard to leave the house or be alone at all. I'm in an awful situation and it's (obviously) having a major impact on my entire life. 
I think it's basically a need for being with people, but turned into an anxiety. ",3.228260869565218,5.231008275362324,5.568913043478261,75.61902173913045,74.94202898550725,8.657971014492754,25.268115942028984,9.2995712137729,2.4506985507246366,554,19,99,14,12,195,91,138,0.203,0.782,0.016,-0.9676,2,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,1,8,1,11,3,1,0,2,19,22,9,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,7,7,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,8,1,6,0,16,11,5,21,0,1,0,0,0,11,0,2,8,64,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565855934495564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4626348696503108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719986390488319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975040149076806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985851682672513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381834648438396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418383605492809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543511610011608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516542992108336,0.0,0.0,0.1744511225505696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008669296211508,0.0,0.0,0.21357768584850692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210428797133194,0.0,0.146018705441733,0.0,0.0,0.14813253836604884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610107190299626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738702006600454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481500490788284,0.0,0.1579597063368828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208550633976347,0.09685516482282418,0.0,0.14928031225028598,0.0,0.0,0.12911407336288291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506461247684908,0.1699421038353301,0.1512975933003993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924304348143748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096875426383476,0.0,0.0,0.08815917585400909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288991435983941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015316783353582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006696082555902,0.0,0.0,0.1073999064126143,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mother-Mars,2019/01/20,"Im at a loss I suffer from a multitude of problems and have been seeing the same therapist for about 3 years for two separate mental illnesses. Recently she diagnosed me with another mental illness that she doesn’t think she is “well equipped to handle” and now she wants to find me a specialist for that. 

I have a therapist, a psychiatrist, and I’m just overwhelmed. My SO thinks it’s a good idea but I’m just so confused right now. I realize it’s for my benefit that I see multiple professionals but I just feel worse right now than I ever have. I don’t want to leave my primary therapist, I had a really good connection with her that I don’t think I’d have from any other therapist. I feel like she thinks I’m too much of a problem to deal with. I just don’t know what to do anymore. ",4.143088650479953,4.966692546583853,5.8026538678712605,79.52940146809715,70.73913043478261,10.575042348955392,30.16431394692265,10.637119530657019,3.2496534161490684,624,25,129,19,11,214,87,161,0.146,0.732,0.122,-0.4,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,13,11,0,2,9,0,12,3,0,0,1,29,26,7,0,4,6,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,10,0,0,0,4,6,1,1,2,4,22,5,19,24,2,9,0,3,2,0,7,3,0,1,7,90,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595222036342487,0.13253507726727648,0.0,0.0,0.12534883552236634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130306612707664,0.0,0.12828719887257933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433056413838424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781715786015668,0.09029586327148263,0.0,0.0,0.11552178065551792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21202649740048984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268338504166192,0.1365271555175223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946280953786389,0.0,0.0,0.1338329434070575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06174969965851785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25475074723727564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291409646502384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418838809147912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097120099471254,0.0,0.12479877753429755,0.0,0.0,0.2158794857173877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20143922804539047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5870124719405684,0.0,0.3239525588746477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346852357778355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910085315450264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364334052531355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880623338235234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139355993486283
mentalhealth,F_han,2019/01/20,"Need help please, not sure whats wrong with me.. I'm a 24yr male right now and just started working corporate here in the US. The last 6-7 years I've had major lapses of anxiety, depression and self harm from high school thru college. Almost no one knows about it except a few people who saw my scars and my ex. I've had a few serious incidents and now I have pretty bad scars on my upper arms. I was clean for about a year and a half until now. Just a quick background I grew up in a strict asian household, only child but I've always been social and had a lot for friend circles. That's why sometimes I feel like I have a personality or mood disorder trying to balance two three lives.

Current: these last two weeks have been the hardest ever, I heavily vape THC and it's been between sober and depressed or high and less depressed. I just had a 250ug acid trip and it got bad. I was dancing with friends around and started slipping my grasp on reality, I was stuck in a trance of not caring if I was alive or not. Towards the end I ended up heading to my room, I was playing with my shark tooth necklace and a blade and obviously woke up with some bad scars on my legs and arms. Should I get a psych eval.? I brought my problems up in the past with two doctors but they shook it off maybe because I was a guy and I never showed them my scars. I'm ashamed of my scars and I've never been talk about my problems with anyone and recently it's been consuming me. Everyone I know sees me as a well put together friendly person working at a great company but I'm starting to lose it. I think I need to get help soon but I don't know how to start...",3.5236274509803884,4.419528558823533,4.511470588235294,87.94995098039217,72.23529411764707,7.431372549019607,27.401960784313715,7.6454224807358475,1.3806372549019608,1290,45,279,15,24,420,187,340,0.158,0.722,0.119,-0.9169,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,2,3,16,24,0,2,21,0,20,6,5,1,5,59,43,28,0,6,15,1,1,1,3,1,1,0,2,6,10,24,0,0,6,3,0,6,7,14,1,6,20,4,37,9,40,22,6,49,0,4,2,0,18,20,0,7,24,182,47,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864248736313012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196734071778998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535907981323935,0.0,0.0,0.0688797507496283,0.0,0.0,0.08769385374527654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24675258440665146,0.06005014373977977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043644339297042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545368519649753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289979515136495,0.1008280881112296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744993876275018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910698820440277,0.0,0.09412952659844696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049809086763447113,0.07037481607892361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22832331938652725,0.0,0.10293372481594204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787866090954693,0.10860646902483256,0.0,0.09753935154209536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109860614704544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320569501319516,0.20816023582505808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241383387149064,0.1605958898701413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048126498811262894,0.0,0.08698521072735485,0.0,0.0,0.11020632137633908,0.0,0.08374878957063693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896548431582912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460862816678487,0.151952355680577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675221633806076,0.0749204981367082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403794265689397,0.0682937049379664,0.1720284370953678,0.0,0.10813324928328012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021902033963187,0.0,0.18851952919099854,0.0,0.09902870664484276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972657073939782,0.0,0.0,0.08412610806375602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969632010599223,0.07849888195958954,0.0,0.1027663225276045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041747259033612,0.0,0.0,0.09742787390038272,0.0,0.27890057730184803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092843522888626,0.0,0.0,0.07917776538790489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312055979949895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688111314369956,0.0,0.2886868010397645,0.0,0.11849414199907198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901794054663193,0.0,0.08857137966573103,0.0,0.08888900846577144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343138279954626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770407648138454,0.0,0.12687307265013675
mentalhealth,Cosmic_Pinguin,2019/01/20,Is It Too Late?  i was brought up eating way too much junk food and rarely any plants and didnt even drink real milk...all of the milk i drank was powdered...im 17 now and obese...is the damage permenant?i mean i know i could lose all the weight and be healthy but did i miss on important development in my brain etc? ,0.3855769230769255,2.720199923076926,1.5572115384615408,98.36966346153848,88.23076923076924,5.096153846153847,17.35576923076923,6.6274283507984215,-0.3440384615384611,245,6,58,3,8,77,50,65,0.104,0.83,0.066,-0.327,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,7,7,1,0,1,10,12,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,2,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,6,1,6,0,4,4,3,7,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,33,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667907129249843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738003053122709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958266135383168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402693552818135,0.0,0.2509704890067834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735387558846269,0.16199726135805692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29657914999071816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649316272006122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347929288575166,0.0,0.2766730905102033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743922574110924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671688546145578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030026827296014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791687843194103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946823948638552,0.0,0.298670460024229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ixcacao,2019/01/20,"(TW: Eating Disorders) Are there any books/shows that you'd recommend avoiding to recovering anorexics? When I was 17, I was just recovering from anorexia. Part of my personal process of getting better was reading stories about when eating disorders go wrong, and I got recommended a book called ""Wintergirls"". But this book, even though it's meant to be a cautionary tale where one of the characters dies, actually kind of glorified anorexia to the point where it sent me spiraling and set my recovery back a long way. I've been pretty open about the experience and recently the library where I worked has asked me if theres any books or dvds I'd recommend they watch out for. The only one that I can think of is Wintergirls, and I've heard some pretty bad things about To The Bone. Are there any others that you'd recommend people avoid?",6.126744868035193,7.7052562903225805,6.2731964809384175,75.18434017595307,66.74193548387098,10.79765395894428,32.15542521994136,10.832165505486646,3.789129032258064,675,28,120,20,11,215,99,155,0.07,0.7929999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.8679,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,1,2,15,6,0,2,9,0,12,3,1,0,0,15,20,10,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,8,6,2,2,2,4,0,2,0,4,0,2,8,2,12,2,15,9,2,15,0,0,1,0,8,6,0,3,5,77,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.15404637415235614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220460106476528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475756692077047,0.0,0.0,0.1213828511216581,0.13180461161851909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961233484976193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119039284878942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383140220092074,0.0,0.3618372716343044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32305573596805154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426354249845954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544151513894022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247414908198454,0.0,0.08971418632974558,0.0,0.12625324801609447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643845349786888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969912439457366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139369677591016,0.1200579177266192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094453949150093,0.0,0.10943867449636033,0.13783528180597607,0.0,0.0,0.14922657987228016,0.0,0.0,0.3211961265025982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579004494903993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586546521113046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487366210782978,0.101148859974723,0.1550944191674804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530011915278536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492230820556952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725926478682608,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealthandgo,2019/01/20,Check out my blog! Hello! Can you check out my blog? It would help to get some subscribers (its free). Thank you! [https://www.mentalhealthandgo.com](https://www.mentalhealthandgo.com/),12.0231884057971,15.850212260869565,4.887608695652175,66.84851449275362,100.30434782608695,3.2724637681159425,12.528985507246375,5.46131890053228,-1.108414492753623,154,2,20,1,6,37,18,23,0.0,0.7759999999999999,0.224,0.7249,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,3,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,12,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627407600367665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4653716606938771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6392140453024694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4932076263796257,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kae72,2019/01/20,"[update][positive] Following on from 4 months ago. A certain MrKenwood decided to [post on here about 4 months ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/9bvbea/4_year_with_a_depressed_girlfriend_a_very_long/) regarding relationships with his previous partner. Just thought it would be nice to update that things are going well on his front. I made a ridiculously long essay of a comment and after a couple of months of chatting, and then some very interesting phone and video calls, he's now standing behind me and we're ordering pizza together because he moved to the UK!

We're not married, but we did get a phone contract for him today.

Mental health crap times happen, things get better.

Also thank you  r/mentalhealth (: ",10.536195652173916,13.07407960869566,7.870163043478263,64.24089673913045,57.26086956521739,10.619565217391305,35.244565217391305,10.686352973137794,4.316152173913044,605,24,80,14,8,174,89,115,0.044,0.795,0.161,0.9116,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,1,0,1,6,8,2,0,6,0,4,3,1,1,1,15,12,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,4,6,1,0,2,2,0,4,1,2,1,0,3,0,7,6,15,7,1,21,0,0,0,0,14,3,1,1,11,49,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33131629958034176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494481440739819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392052351922975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528047814558058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19082572633135306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067795468002044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19527453372352999,0.0,0.10620840650633487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16525767156496088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19864506741134205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538322420652107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683070065640352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18833143265002444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474983243977253,0.19862423113389632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897971164661414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20063955210445206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205431315923722,0.0,0.0,0.2483099940519292,0.0,0.0,0.14836211889060036,0.108971431799389,0.0,0.17714071535387502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419585600383365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802787323981758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275443495846534,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mora66_,2019/01/20,"I feel there’s no hope. All this hope is an illusion I kind of sticked myself with the therapist and the anti depressants for long already. However? i have been deluding myself with progress. This is not the life I want. I can’t change it, I just can’t control it. Gratefulness is a good thing, but why stick to a life I don’t want when I can donate it to others? Worst thing is, I want to die and don’t want to die. I mean life is cool and it has the things I dream of, but I can’t control it. And I don’t want to die because it’s scary. Like it’s there but not for me. Kinda sucks, neither life nor death is in my favor. I mean motivation, books, self development, success. It’s all delusion to feel better isn’t it? I wanted to succeed. It’s not that I am giving up on my dreams; they’re just impossible. I kind of got lost, that I don’t even know what I actually want. Guess I am too nice for this world. You know? If I wasn’t afraid of death, I might have not been alive to write this post. I don’t want to die, but life sucks. I have been lying myself to feel better about myself, I just hate myself. Why the tears they coming out. Everything just sucks, I keep trying to get busy in things and act interested to forget about the pain I suffer. I act like I am interested in being an engineer, or a top college students. I am just lying to myself to get busy off the pain. Even when hope comes, and expectations rise: sucky people just remove your hopes and get your expectations down. 

I have been lying to myself since childhood, being dragged by the circumstances I was born in. I always hated myself, and lied to me about it. I am such a shitty person. I am a hypocrite. People have always lied to me out of pity, and I pretended to believe them. I’ll just face myself. I suck financially, socially, intellectually, from every direction. Self-esteem? Huh it’s just a delusion. People pretend to help, and I pretend that I am being helped. I know there are people far off worse me, and I feel them aswell. Indeed, I always wanted to be a billionaire so I can help. I don’t only carry my pain, I carry theirs as well.

CBT? CGT? All these therapy short forms ending with T? It’s all just me deluding myself, it doesn’t change the truth. This life sucks so much, Life’s just unfair and we have to accept it.  Some kids are sitting on millions and everybody loves them because they were born in a rich family, good for them. It seems life is all about fortune. I am done using Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates as role models. These two were just lucky, and rich already.!

Like always, some might call me a troll, attention-seeker, bla bla bla, all this criticism. Well, I just decided to post this because it’s just better and faster to write it down instead of pain in my mind.

Lastly, I would like to say: it’s not depression. Depression exists because life sucks so much and I get depressed because life sucks so much.  Life is nice, but it’s made for some people. I carry not only my pain, but others’ pain. I feel them.

I told the therapist all this, but he doesn’t help. Like anything ever did.",1.5877443329617231,3.8737023687600685,3.1282705314009682,89.65088963210705,81.6731078904992,5.947142326272763,19.69877369007804,7.199576271509646,0.44414220735786,2405,63,498,33,65,789,239,621,0.241,0.5720000000000001,0.187,-0.9911,1,0,0,0,0,4,102.0,1,3,8,11,34,56,9,1,21,2,56,19,1,5,9,109,104,35,6,17,28,0,5,5,0,3,17,1,1,3,40,25,0,3,14,6,4,6,22,24,2,2,14,7,85,32,61,83,16,38,0,7,0,1,29,19,7,15,15,345,125,6,0.0,0.0,0.05280008615180491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941561676380773,0.0,0.18008358912919686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04452499472514102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491393580792146,0.0,0.0,0.060959436149426074,0.0,0.14355826318829296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055248730624726516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447489079465295,0.09321582428852056,0.0,0.0,0.12136995945752108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640720993709667,0.0,0.22461579373557253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536967940976941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479222513345294,0.0,0.0,0.07147359432123103,0.048942377878251474,0.04558701417806497,0.0,0.048627384680947,0.0,0.051006741749535116,0.0,0.1367892235654527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307353907645297,0.05190383304377202,0.0,0.0907638393476008,0.04327386742385731,0.0,0.0596043500629349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068378270701342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506564041826833,0.0,0.0,0.2149596362487927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04809229506773116,0.0,0.11268707435223205,0.08920646281703523,0.044103974817825534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203868106458274,0.13216838197779346,0.0,0.0,0.04788250190212205,0.0,0.0,0.05906357710350992,0.0,0.04883317979085345,0.05119682725474376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787556264783206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147967772453672,0.054632086243735695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932338969052968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823007803208959,0.3454384387132998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18755298440300155,0.04724366148933815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036380373460193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04302761737358765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04925647616000005,0.11288964629276454,0.0,0.0,0.04475741108604162,0.0,0.0,0.05515470770733956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061875436195391466,0.1256435076546444,0.14378367358058314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170102764234698,0.0,0.03673472505757186,0.0,0.052854135572177406,0.0,0.0,0.046730597053103666,0.0,0.0,0.2872204522406738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972963853935779,0.0,0.09764530322976228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513909071281199,0.03843566670629228,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KarmicScum,2019/01/20,"I think about killing myself every day Title.

The only way to keep myself from thinking about it is to talk to people, who I'm unsure if they're friends or not at this point. Get drunk, smoke, or have sex. I am trying to cut them all out for the time being, sex I have cut out due to the fact I feel used and horrible afterwards right now. I feel like shit all of the time, and I don't feel like anyone actually cares about me anymore besides my family (which I am over 1000 miles away from). 

​

I have started developing some terrible feeling in my stomach whenever I'm not around at least one other person besides my roommate, and have started having issues with my work because of this. Along with that I had an ex who lets just say I had to go to therapy over first term. I feel worthless, and it's only made worse because of the fact that she cheated on me many, many times. She trash talked me when I had a panic attack. I only found out about that shit when we were about to break up.

​

I feel like I'm outrunning my problems to stay alive right now, and some people apparently think I put too much energy into relationships and stuff and have called me annoying because of that. The only way I don't have that is by being a social butterfly and changing up who I spend time with every day, and I don't have any close friends it feels like. I just don't want to do it anymore, I don't want to run anymore because it's so so much energy. I miss being loved by someone that seems to care about me, I miss intimacy, I miss having people I could rely on for some stuff and having a shoulder to cry on. From what I understand though, most people enjoy me, at least when we're partying people love me and they say so but only sometimes. I can show up anywhere and get in and it's a fun time, but it's rare for me to get an invite so I have to do a lot of work to keep up with everyone.",5.4059276437847865,4.918118275510206,6.229499072356216,82.13628014842303,67.77551020408163,9.066048237476807,29.042671614100186,8.438071523408619,1.8785622448979584,1492,44,314,19,22,494,176,392,0.106,0.7979999999999999,0.096,0.07,1,0,1,0,0,1,42.0,1,0,2,3,20,27,8,1,13,0,32,9,4,2,4,64,67,26,1,5,9,1,7,4,2,0,0,2,0,1,23,25,1,2,13,2,1,3,7,15,0,2,6,9,47,12,60,56,12,50,0,4,0,4,21,25,2,9,22,221,70,2,0.0,0.0,0.07253692148087773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107652029225922,0.18064206583320672,0.05054803857197528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22115092825337765,0.05197438469465936,0.0,0.0,0.06617088535179975,0.0,0.08456292858973853,0.06983698730251746,0.0,0.0,0.18124741961077712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590087682284885,0.0,0.1515720451789757,0.0,0.07863297932156824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05934773609970805,0.0,0.08164977489440736,0.09587546849728394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525516183722826,0.0710270315050502,0.0,0.0,0.07007321940051342,0.0,0.2630900411211092,0.2124100464298857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322642303002225,0.0,0.08150076538530368,0.11485682325508882,0.0,0.11650558299240465,0.0,0.04224436261697013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758288095011487,0.0,0.13213868708977358,0.08223690491364291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600909957522288,0.0,0.14525866519557012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631940702381222,0.1341743465329416,0.07033435945483701,0.0,0.15072115605669306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928456093713217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05036901750394645,0.28266266568145176,0.0,0.08721211977921133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576608694165881,0.06490348811304246,0.0,0.0,0.07026739036616236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112530479563256,0.0,0.07472379093940615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980432315309613,0.0,0.12695756461905422,0.0,0.11822294736276626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766869912617582,0.0,0.0,0.15260064338171225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577170784845945,0.06298092549924843,0.0,0.07351585542879713,0.0,0.10522458152425193,0.0792275980251251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018380213829096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948985275782698,0.0,0.0,0.08500466540899279,0.0,0.0,0.14288606832012002,0.07303042195687923,0.0,0.2167167755948416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050466278775790116,0.0,0.0,0.07738181954425445,0.0,0.06419863860543425,0.0,0.0,0.08768540992310803,0.11800193226931853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082285836661625,0.0,0.07575025317312886,0.0,0.0,0.18064206583320672,0.0
mentalhealth,losingtoday91,2019/01/20,"i want to be antisocial yet i feel lonely i am at the point of my life where i hate everyone including my own parents. i don’t wanna socialize with anyone anymore and i want to be alone. with that being said, i feel crushingly alone and i wish i could at least have more interactions online but don’t know where to find people to talk to. ",1.7924844720496864,4.035270028985508,3.8166045548654246,85.25608695652177,80.59420289855072,7.421118012422363,21.45134575569358,8.418075326091056,1.3529693581780542,268,8,55,6,7,91,46,69,0.114,0.8190000000000001,0.067,-0.4497,1,4,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,8,1,0,0,0,14,16,3,0,5,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,11,0,11,11,3,6,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4769901958933496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22837058357432444,0.1610133946628078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385557637873035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200373034262293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23286757160282626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21046686515997476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273485503523636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655292954870412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626498006091253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556927559636281,0.0,0.0,0.1596434532135915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768398266608147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21904393162988106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23473601412991066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508604703379725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716439183852469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648044917016457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CollegeProf816,2019/01/20,"Everyone needs someone to identify with [GenuineU](http://www.genuineu.com/?fbclid=IwAR2NKyHnF3O3gnNc0VnbKce5ylw6czwVicaT607Rl3Ds7QpKiYtjeaI4Sc0) is a leading innovator in student mental health support. If you are feeling alone and helpless in your mental health struggles, visit GenU and watch the videos from people just like you who want to provide you validation, support, and encouragement. It's free and safe. No registration required. 

Hit us up for podcasts and blogs. Let us know how we can collaborate with your organization or school, too!

​",12.413236889692586,16.782215784810127,8.975985533453887,50.81037974683545,55.708860759493675,9.577576853526224,39.13381555153707,9.957137785484203,4.879439783001809,473,22,53,10,7,135,65,79,0.105,0.68,0.21600000000000005,0.8516,0,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,3,5,0,2,3,8,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,2,0,19,11,8,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,0,2,2,2,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,2,8,7,9,9,0,5,0,1,1,0,11,3,0,2,1,36,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18398485257348848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924764080529008,0.21585601620736128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974575653791624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982177453406566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776529765546727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762809502678936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18165227854474866,0.0,0.08678752826505484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35804526659505986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172023326594126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315547554940745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978447243903528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051656559190324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571131554673792,0.0,0.0,0.4031749536357359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42736596062463583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477860280333537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21585601620736128,0.0
mentalhealth,artistchaz,2019/01/20,"100 reasons to keep on living 1. We would miss you.
2. It's not worth the regret. Either yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.
3. It does get better. Believe it or not it eventually gets better. Sometimes we have to go through a storm to get to the rainbow.
4. There is so much you would miss out on doing.
5. There is always a reason to live.
6. So many people care and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.
7. You are worth it.
8. You are amazing.
9. A time will come, once you have battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be glad that you kept on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and wont regret the choice to carry on.
10. What about all the things you have always wanted to do? What about things you have planned but never done?
11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that is still a reason to stay alive.
12. You wont be able to listen to music if you die.
13. Killing yourself is never worth it, you will hurt yourself and people you care about.
14. There are so many people who would miss you, including me.
15. You are preventing future generations, imagine your child's face light up with joy when you get home from work, or their innocent excitement, greedy fingers, melodious laughter ringing through the night.
16. Think about how your family would feel? When they find their special little baby they raised since they was born dead? Nothing can cure that sadness.
17. To somebody, you are perfect, even if you haven't met them yet.
18. You will never hear your favorite music artist's voice again.
19. You will never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day.
20. Listening to incredibly loud music.
21. Being alive is really lucky.
22. Not being alive is really bad.
23. Finding your soulmate.
24. Red pandass
25. Watching your favourite youtuber at 3 in the morning.
26. Really soft pillows.
27. Eating pizza.
28. Proving people wrong. 
29. Watching people who doubted you fail at life. 
30. Seeing your best friend trip over while you die of laughter. 
31. Helping other people
32. Bonfires
33. Sitting on rooftops
34. Having the chance to see every country in the world.
35. Going on roadtrips.
36. The last day of school.
37. Drowning in music.
38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
39. Taking really cool pictures.
40. Meeting thousands of new people
41. Hearing crazy stories
42. Telling crazy stories
43. Eating icecream on a hot day
44. Naps
45. Travelling to another planet someday
46. Laughing till you pee yourself
47. The days when you get along with your siblings.
48. Laying down on your bed after an exhausting day
49. Trampolines
50. You will never see your favorite film again
51. Inside jokes with best friends
52. Your survival will make the world better, whether its 1 person or 50 people.
53. People do care
54. The dream of building a treehouse
55. Snuggling up with your best friend and watching scary films all night.
56. Snorting when you laugh which makes you laugh more
57. I care about you
58. Nobody will ever be like you, so embrace your uniqueness
59. You wont be here to experience the first ever cat emperor
60. What about food?!? You will miss chocolate and all the other delicious nom things.
61. Hot chocolate on a cold day
62. Hugs
63. Stargazing
64. You always have a purpose, you just have to look for it first
65. You have changed somebody's life
66. You can change the world
67. You will meet the person that is perfect for you
68. You have your entire life ahead of you
69. You have the chance to save somebody's life
70. If you end your life, you stop yourself from achieving great things
71. Making snow angels
72. Making snowmen
73. Snowball fightss
74. You shape your own life
75. We all have a talent
76. Not beinf able to breathe because you are laughing too much
77. If you can be sad then you can be happy too
78. The world would not be the same without you
79. Sticking post-it notes on your best friend's back.
80. Do not take anybodys shit
81. Be your own hero
82. Being happy doesn't mean you are perfect, you have just learnt to look beyond the imperfections
83. One day your smile will be real
84. Having a really hot bath after a stressful day
85. Lying on the grass and laughing at the clouds
86. Just breathe
87. Eating crazy food
88. You wont be able to have crazy, hilarious dreams.
89. Sleeping in all day
90. Creating something you are proud of
91. Smiling for no reasonf
92. Memes that make you laugh till you cry
93. Coffee / Tea
94. A new shrek film could come out
95. Winning on Mario Kart
96. Being stupid in public because why not
97.  What about all the shows on netflix you haven't watched yet?
98. Being able to hug that one person who means the world to you
99. I care about you enough to write 100 reasons to keep on going
100. Think about how rare and beautiful it is that we are even existing on this planet right now. Why through that away when we have a whole new universe to explore?

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mentalhealth,Stroobioos,2019/01/20,"Anxiety Can Be Tough - You're Not Alone (short video) I post this video in this thread every now and again to remind others (and myself) that anxiety can be a struggle. It is also something that can be made more manageable if we hear each other out, which is something this subreddit does very well. Hoping this video might provide someone out there with a boost of confidence or simply make you smile. Have a nice Sunday. https://vimeo.com/268518020",5.0900316455696215,8.146130455696202,3.944794303797469,84.36883702531647,73.55696202531645,6.987974683544303,23.799050632911392,8.07648339933343,1.609517721518988,362,11,59,6,8,105,61,79,0.081,0.71,0.209,0.9064,0,1,2,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,0,0,5,5,0,1,3,0,10,0,0,2,0,14,14,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,10,7,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,4,3,6,9,2,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,4,3,45,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25238595324374763,0.0,0.19487618456246095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372839352612938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21325189371493064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205316574482468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27465264774396625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24203590080613205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23058226966249684,0.16266278004534127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258513103902588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333845196666704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20647496983869384,0.3752038900684358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547542732285113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20106706764116394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21910362982434084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,destroyerMVP1,2019/01/20,Will my therapist let me remove my emergency contact number and other numbers? I just don't want them to be called. Just wondering if there's any legal obligation(I live in Florida) for my therapist to keep the contact info on my file.,6.241969696969697,7.57214713636364,7.293636363636362,68.8937878787879,66.27272727272728,11.321212121212122,35.12121212121212,11.20814326018867,4.6393121212121216,190,9,30,6,3,64,37,44,0.08800000000000001,0.848,0.064,-0.2551,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,7,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,5,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,0,23,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469527625092165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073620933247043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26754910597333514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078003434887001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657949479760837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6989853176483035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17754189593161607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32642956122296946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The-Pink-Panther,2019/01/20,"Prescription medications (anti-depressants) I have tried several medications to treat my depression but none of them ever did anything. I didn’t get any benefits of the medications whatsoever. We increased the dosage almost bi-weekly until I spent about 3 months on a medication that wasn’t working and then we would switch to a different kind and repeat. I changed my medication at least 5 times and I spent at least 3 months trying each medication. No medication I tried ever showed any sign of it doing anything, I never even had a side affect. This makes me wonder why no medication did anything. Before starting my first anti-depressant I got some tests done to check for iron deficiency and thyroid problems and basically a general checkup and nothing was wrong. 

Anyone have any ideas of why this is? ",8.088220668220671,9.26924414685315,8.512960372960375,62.32875679875682,62.07692307692307,11.670240870240871,36.867909867909866,11.429527900616536,4.809734110334111,655,30,99,19,9,217,93,143,0.081,0.807,0.112,0.6521,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,1,2,4,6,0,0,6,0,12,10,0,2,3,23,19,9,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,2,1,3,1,6,3,0,1,10,0,15,3,13,8,6,16,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,3,11,70,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376157178506757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19102430904613207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547152111720532,0.0,0.23116000471275516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967618664436801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905303923087774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24194214841321535,0.0,0.0,0.09782827523433923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582075141028554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618448001402542,0.1693957947415077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796455814704588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892023754888457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488817954491303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570211731084377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750607420667523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250185283175796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7546164343131342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494765611253666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722168108586229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984496751873856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895957099300383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578049716219347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627508388783346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05459911467222542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19071533348515587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510806451582297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16898140691618585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101542778656035,0.06816713697153681,0.0,0.0,0.06651536552155665,0.1023747856375354,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,orbitsad,2019/01/20,"Friend lying about being diagnosed with Anti-social personality disorder? I mean im not an expert on symptoms of mental disorders. My 'friend' here said that she has been diagnosed with depression long time ago, and recently she claimed that her therapist diagnose her with anti-social personality disorder which I doubt a lot.. she changes her stories everytime I ask how did the treatment go since she claimed she has been diagnose (somehow proud to have it??) she said that her therapist didn't actually diagnose her but the therapist might have just consider it. Then her stories changed afew days later saying she got diagnosed. After that, she stopped going to therapy and didn't talk about going to any following treatment. Im just puzzled and disgusted because I think shes lying. She doesn't seem to have APD. I just get offended because she would bring up her APD to compare my situation to hers aka downplaying my feelings. ",7.707454545454546,9.238389806060605,7.852727272727275,65.47909090909093,63.06060606060606,12.060606060606062,39.84848484848485,11.741389052700956,5.508575757575756,758,41,115,25,11,246,96,165,0.157,0.8190000000000001,0.024,-0.9661,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,2,1,4,0,15,7,0,1,0,23,29,6,0,1,5,0,1,0,2,2,7,3,0,2,7,6,0,1,4,0,0,5,4,4,0,0,8,4,27,3,15,18,1,16,0,1,0,0,28,2,0,6,9,80,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.09604180377552372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724164854022089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692763771408554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920075759139261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998943954126315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20822645946665247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347148972078989,0.0,0.08476730808567771,0.5993533942366243,0.0,0.0,0.33838677897023256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049763114895335685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207505717282568,0.0,0.05141936047680805,0.0,0.167799709537605,0.0,0.07871389209064879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126167297127693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709686265933382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367149266441343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720609077420548,0.0,0.0,0.09918222965269766,0.1044059807266543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718696614755874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717593489336368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872361748232622,0.07826597049181436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959608142364316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141241437878062,0.11062599326731816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822818829179715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229402045337807,0.0,0.07910468736089635,0.0,0.0,0.11254959858431182,0.34281276757225626,0.0,0.0630623019546201,0.0,0.0,0.05738834682150376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991334728458518,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Luc1fir,2019/01/20,"How do you tell if someone has MPD? My best friend says he has multiple personality disorder. He will drink and then say something like ""Zack didn't like this kind of music *laughs* but I love it."" He would have two names. His real name and then the other personality name. 

I have a question, a serious one. If someone has another personality, wouldn't there be a different tone of voice and it wouldn't just like start up out of no where? I haven't noticed any changes in actions between the personalities, nor the way of tone or how the words are being said. ",1.9999572649572668,4.701598796296295,3.6018518518518547,84.03602564102566,84.18518518518519,6.656410256410258,24.04843304843305,7.882392219407189,1.5339535612535615,442,17,87,9,13,146,74,108,0.054000000000000006,0.79,0.156,0.9102,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,5,9,0,0,7,0,15,2,0,2,0,20,18,12,0,5,5,0,0,3,1,4,0,4,0,4,4,4,1,0,1,1,0,1,6,1,0,2,2,4,6,8,8,10,1,9,0,0,0,1,19,4,0,4,6,59,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952892944766514,0.16888947215057085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902655572030276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703841788461942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682774246319778,0.1845931063545914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778123854494108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443751771868178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16772319673601216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360629592364897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536639749302596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18337224121608212,0.0,0.0,0.1091410214994298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5625389052687833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042835397436813,0.0,0.0,0.18332590313624628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320858828065084,0.2561688490118885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729377257926022,0.12399480738975395,0.0,0.0,0.11400180987754105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407768890809119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733596119772866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784497360675026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144151257048154,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bibliophile_97,2019/01/20,Thoughts on personal disappointment? What do you do when you really just don't feel yourself? When you've feel like you've disappointed yourself? Honest thoughts. ,5.495000000000001,9.215150259259259,4.523981481481481,74.65041666666669,83.44444444444444,8.625925925925927,32.675925925925924,8.841846274778883,4.060637037037037,135,7,20,4,4,40,17,27,0.212,0.611,0.177,-0.2824,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,7,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,2,2,1,5,0,3,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4325599032180191,0.3055800217403781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089738541773384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734891007644804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740234210499342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6791610744423349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,derrickjones777,2019/01/20,"What is a Drug? The problem with oversimplification and stigma surrounding mental health, and an exploration of how psychedelic research may soon change the paradigm of mental health. [https://medium.com/words-ideas-thoughts/what-is-a-drug-1a5968b8d4d9](https://medium.com/words-ideas-thoughts/what-is-a-drug-1a5968b8d4d9)

​

This article attempts to break down pre-existing concepts like ""drug"" and ""natural"" to broaden perspectives surrounding mental health, treatment, and individual differences. ",24.563490566037746,31.11287284905661,13.622783018867926,20.99379716981136,28.056603773584904,15.11132075471698,50.98584905660378,13.427899808715575,9.191720754716982,443,20,29,13,4,108,41,53,0.049,0.85,0.101,0.2263,0,0,4,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,0,2,5,0,1,0,9,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,20,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587285772804255,0.17480632792557452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521853982974567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030366707466053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6673303121710008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4587511473268408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702830034219536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4349328273377169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765512807400862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480632792557452,0.0
mentalhealth,-_Max,2019/01/20,"I might have something wrong going on with me and I need help This realization that I had took 19 years of my life to arise. Ever since I was a child, I always found it easy to cut people off. I get this feeling of no care and remorselessness for them as soon as my mind does the ""thing"" after they wrong me causing me not to want to be around and associated with them anymore. At first it was just my cousin, a LOT of friends and then my brother. The last time him and I talked was almost 10 years ago. I thought He and dad (which was abusive and separated from us, also he used to beat my mom in front of me) were the last family I would ever feel this way towards but it never disappeared. I'm in college now and I've cut 4 people so far. 

I know you might think that I'm just being a brat or something and I understand that because I think so too. But now that its happened to my mom, I'm starting to really think things through. 

To give you more about it, Imagine you being friends with me and either you keep doing simple toxic things over and over or you wrong me big time. My head does the ""thing"" and  I just straight up feel nauseous around you and this feeling of wanting to vomit is there as well. I start to panic when you're near and I just have this brutal instinct to avoid you at all cost. I had people cry and breakdown trying to reach own but I just saw it as something disgusting and pathetic.

Going back to my mom, I recently had an argument with her just a few weeks ago and it wasn't a normal one and it really hit me bad. It's about her gas-lighting and dictating everything that I should do or else I'm a horrible person. We fought over a friend of mine which was being cyber bullied at the time. Basically she wanted me to stay away from her because it wasn't convenient for me and that things like that is happening to her because she deserved it. Mind you that she does this thing all the time and to everyone that I talk to her about. She doesn't even know anything about my friends and she gets really mad when I tell her that all she's saying are lies. 

I'm avoiding her for a few weeks now and she's not happy about it. She even told my step dad that I might be doing drugs because she barely heard from me since, (i live in a dormitory). That's how messed up she is, she just can't be wrong and the problem should always come from the other party when something's wrong. 

Just the thought of talking to her makes me feel like drowning. Am I suffering a mental illness? I need opinions.

​

TLDR: I have a habit of cutting people off completely when I get pent up with their toxicity or if they do me wrong big time. And my mom did.",3.1336263736263734,4.473449175824175,4.111135531135536,88.74219780219782,73.72527472527473,7.031501831501831,24.538461538461537,7.536579438409214,0.992061538461538,2094,63,449,25,42,677,237,546,0.19,0.74,0.07,-0.9976,0,2,5,0,1,0,49.0,2,8,5,2,35,29,7,3,21,0,38,5,1,4,6,99,83,46,1,11,19,8,5,2,4,6,4,2,0,2,39,34,0,3,15,0,1,7,8,20,1,2,20,8,86,9,69,50,9,64,0,1,1,0,61,24,0,11,33,330,125,1,0.0,0.07451887639007447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150312957202294,0.0,0.06297906235253496,0.0,0.0,0.05029615444240671,0.10466537087479552,0.06814541321132421,0.07642285913065305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237375611107224,0.0,0.0,0.051756243960262564,0.11197764433142536,0.0,0.0,0.0590908016702762,0.04836145509864924,0.0525137014634398,0.15335792305982945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412442751597718,0.06460926430963365,0.0,0.05417744541707364,0.06594295965113872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908589332195035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511638205823054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293684823350982,0.0,0.052539705085817706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308153223244999,0.1137820976779068,0.0,0.0600977274937816,0.05652489798669271,0.0,0.059290683489209274,0.0,0.15900499190830714,0.04493134802619874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349743979367436,0.0,0.06895981269205019,0.19436639596278132,0.0,0.09857825436057893,0.060333470269213915,0.07148799939703665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123357099314878,0.06695162666761284,0.0,0.0,0.06454719047026987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04215639284231178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590290513227101,0.0,0.0,0.06912958262195419,0.10253369346273064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04442375561652116,0.06145347406510385,0.0,0.055536383525889216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05347006529652767,0.0,0.0,0.041982104306693635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633821643060098,0.20016116943889173,0.12700963138317062,0.2946418647713276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326992138935336,0.04850758095643158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061622576881893876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042618471079795266,0.0,0.0,0.07379233085749075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744105858052981,0.05491644602571038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018087895474216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087414905335055,0.0,0.06210004648583501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001567940801548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405281354883274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19367490024134046,0.0,0.0,0.08903312009656582,0.067036429584732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165497819238125,0.05497195915497032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507031028283581,0.1208994352516319,0.0,0.09986131432224914,0.1833694221347792,0.0,0.0,0.0600977274937816,0.06987733333377992,0.042700766246678935,0.0,0.0,0.06547467077535019,0.0756535054706966,0.05432005542997849,0.0,0.0,0.1112891900254509,0.04992217624044266,0.10089923597192876,0.0,0.056549085406610286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04467795572141765,0.41258702591548696,0.07642285913065305,0.0810030988358596
mentalhealth,einn0d,2019/01/20,Drugs and diagnosis I’m 17 and in the last months I’m being treated with drugs for bipolar disorder even if my doctor haven’t officially diagnosed it to me. What does it mean according to you? ,4.239122807017544,6.001693789473688,6.118421052631582,73.75728070175441,71.63157894736842,10.329824561403509,31.08771929824561,10.504223727775694,3.68260350877193,156,7,29,5,3,54,32,38,0.07400000000000001,0.926,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,2,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,5,5,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,5,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,18,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28752875771184194,0.0,0.0,0.3246696560627477,0.2899546508888555,0.2479049969014067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6570423446760105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871073608860876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230915442580408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30858089129913874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22611573489661166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saltenjin,2019/01/20,"Just plain really bad memory or something else? So I'm currently seeing a psych due to suicide ideation/SH/emotional dysregulation. Haven't been diagnosed with anything though. 

I can remember shitloads of random trivias, bits of chats, study materials just fine, but not really any daily life memories.

It's been three appointments with the current psych but I remember the first appointment is filled with ""I don't knows"" and I don't remembers"". My memories are basically blots of blackness and random scenes popping up with no coherent timeline. It's kinda frustrating now since it's quite hindering me from communicating with the psych because there's so much I don't remember.",7.438182674199622,9.79708743220339,7.623333333333335,63.759425612052745,64.5084745762712,12.363088512241054,37.68738229755179,11.855464076750405,5.675991337099812,559,29,82,21,9,181,83,118,0.103,0.884,0.013,-0.8737,3,0,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,2,7,3,1,0,4,0,9,2,0,0,0,21,12,8,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,5,1,0,1,6,2,0,2,2,2,7,1,11,10,2,7,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,4,5,51,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359640496631225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746389471835904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947569175970406,0.10182915034323356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18236999893902547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954727328166347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954475703444846,0.1879032683108364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208848766432192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918036254211617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798890332444048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279737840968193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17767303951678445,0.0,0.0,0.21402675346634928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7569181974904597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311332754635138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818144355498188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285994889660326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827202409507402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641209752513277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,visualclown,2019/01/20,"I’m feeling guilty for being alive. There was a young girl raped, murdered and had her genitals mutilated in my city. She was only 21 and she reminds me of myself when I was her age. I feel terrible for her, angry. I feel so bad for her parents and family. I feel so so guilty for being alive while she lost her life so young in such a horrific way. I know this guilt is misplaced and illogical but I can’t turn it off.  Any advise is welcomed. ",0.976593406593409,3.2395893516483563,3.1304285714285736,88.82707142857143,84.05494505494505,6.277362637362637,21.18791208791209,7.554174236665415,0.8669595604395606,345,11,73,6,10,117,59,91,0.226,0.6920000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.8997,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,2,1,2,0,9,2,0,0,0,10,17,11,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,5,4,17,1,8,10,0,9,0,1,0,1,12,3,0,0,5,51,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19833578655128611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435202156102501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749469114650669,0.0,0.5898792708729498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028627192529055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060049519359033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31837650372633153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22181720086640827,0.0,0.0,0.3238489915473689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31723750540497103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315026132802557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,philipmasters18,2019/01/20,"Good mental health help organization in the UK to donate to? I've been struggling with mental illness for a very long time as have many people I know, we've put some money together (not loads) and I was wondering which organization you guys thought would be best to donate to.",7.3447435897435875,7.594678346153848,7.508461538461539,72.10320512820513,63.615384615384606,10.01025641025641,30.794871794871803,9.725611199111238,2.742171794871795,222,7,40,4,3,72,43,52,0.096,0.733,0.171,0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,2,0,5,2,0,0,0,8,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,3,2,8,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25870159141982546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067645328509108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440879538274672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620332162098301,0.0,0.0,0.1652333660045547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547783452253584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218157433812584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499268491096563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4968569484637826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709020045146684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24781499972027515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577103124843264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19570485028006035,0.14374449424538635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20340014781864849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673342864588253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511671450795452,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blu_res,2019/01/20,"I’m losing hope of getting better Been struggling with depression and anxiety for four or five years now. Before, it felt like I was just in a rut, and that all I needed was the right push to get my life back in order; now, I feel like I’ve been broken to the point of no return.

I drank pretty heavily for a period a year ago, and it’s left me thinking about the kind of damage it must’ve done to my brain, leaving me feeling dull, slow, and forgetful. Of course, it could very well be a symptom of my depression, but my anxiety decides to obsess over the alcohol and neuronal death and cerebral atrophy.

It’s unproductive thinking, I know, but it’s as if I’m fundamentally and irreversibly different now; where before I could at least read and watch things in the midst of my depressive hermitage, now my concentration is shot and I spend all my time agonizing over my seemingly waning mind and wallowing in regret.

I’m not sure that I want to go back on medication, considering that it might have contributed to my drinking in the first place, in addition to making me irritable and impulsive. The idea of mind-altering substances and medications in general scares me now. But I don’t know what other option there is to prevent me from falling apart completely.

A time machine would be nice.",9.5299889135255,7.5667813780487805,9.584663710273462,66.17737250554326,60.422764227642276,13.498300073909832,39.843311160384324,12.24349002098031,4.861313821138211,1033,43,186,28,11,343,146,246,0.205,0.7290000000000001,0.066,-0.988,1,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,13,18,0,3,12,0,15,9,2,1,3,48,34,18,1,8,7,0,3,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,13,14,3,1,10,2,1,3,3,10,1,3,7,4,23,8,32,21,3,37,0,7,1,0,0,17,0,6,18,131,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871739602769886,0.13107021049767328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876461846588765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861287523017956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20872373026421648,0.0,0.0,0.10846953935535668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691238554893687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859095322523062,0.0,0.0,0.1958441118823624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31690188657211904,0.0,0.0,0.12813792547179526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550842047916147,0.0,0.12014541243268602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402599813674707,0.08761761532921593,0.11775843709925868,0.0,0.0,0.10432177770867124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815390515851874,0.0,0.06970198210136684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181416210078715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384512810610561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771589849471884,0.13480497345657008,0.0,0.0,0.12986335064498628,0.13325415564870707,0.0,0.08662779333524354,0.1198363077853942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372083880456759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186649249228188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471038771464173,0.0,0.13010696776422045,0.24767298366270776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909397164014928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813792547179526,0.0,0.1159391711036138,0.0,0.0,0.1247740606943983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267819343225166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473816325442203,0.0,0.0,0.12278904455026755,0.0,0.0,0.11165140537404504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821518721630853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155914647811227,0.12747511903982728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147989095366827,0.15717193268896024,0.0,0.0,0.14303057617926485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119497268460663,0.07233920095359989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027258762604578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871234919507064,0.0,0.0,0.15795872294186425
mentalhealth,jojiballads,2019/01/20,"What Is My Friend Experiencing. Is There A Name For It. How Do You Also Get Help For Somebody With Unsupportive Parents. I only met someone a month ago but we started getting really close. We talked all the time. Just today, I found out about her problems. I'm certain she has a mental illness, but I can't identify which. She herself doesn't know either. She wants to seek help from a professional therapist yet her parents are ignorant and aren't supportive. I asked her if she tried talking to our school guidance counselor... she said it only made matters worse. The guidance counselor told her parents about what she's going through (her possible mental illness + unsupportive parents) even though she didn't want her parents to know because of obvious reasons. Because of that, her parents got even more mad at her maybe for making assholes out of them (well it's true anyway, they're legit assholes.) No help at all. She attempted suicide once, fortunately me and her friends were able to stop her. I really don't fucking know what to do at that time but I tried my best to save her. I'm genuinely concerned, she needs professional help yet she can't receive it, the least I could do is always be there for her as a friend. I devote most of my time talking to her, listening to her rants, etc. But what can I do to treat her? To provide her the help she needs? I'm only a dumb and naive 13-year-old.

​

I am desperately seeking advice from all of you. First off, what possible mental illness does she have? She described in detail her vivid nightmares and hallucinations. This is what she sent me describing them: [https://scontent.fmnl3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-0/p280x280/50581432\_2278358285781954\_2485430010064666624\_n.jpg?\_nc\_cat=101&\_nc\_ht=scontent.fmnl3-1.fna&oh=936f1d7d0d2425688436da930feeb650&oe=5CC0A0FB](https://scontent.fmnl3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-0/p280x280/50581432_2278358285781954_2485430010064666624_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&_nc_ht=scontent.fmnl3-1.fna&oh=936f1d7d0d2425688436da930feeb650&oe=5CC0A0FB)

(let me know whether the link works or not)

​

Even when she's awake she told me as well that she can see these ""monsters."" These creatures repeatedly kept saying to her that they're going to take away her loved ones. No one else believed her but me and some few other friends. Her parents told her that it was ""all just in her head"" so they won't take her to therapy. That's all she ever wanted. I thought about saving up from my allowance so I can help her since she says she has no money for it... but I realized even if we have the money her parents won't turn her in. 

​

What can I do to help her? Advice please. (sorry for bad English.)

​

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mentalhealth,BunkerSpelunker,2019/01/20,"18 M need help Hey. I feel terrible. I really want to die. I almost got hit by a car today and I wanted it to hit me hard. I feel so lonely. I can't find love. I've tried dating apps and going to different places but it doesn't work. I'm starting to think that not having friends and not finding love is meant for me. And that it's just how the way things are supposed to be. I need to deal with this now. I have a few important tests soon and I can't afford to be distracted with my health. Please help.
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mentalhealth,oj109,2019/01/20,"2 At what age did your personality and social skills mature? When I was 16, I moved countries and into a new high school in a big city.

I grew up in a dysfunctional home but I was also pretty sheltered because I grew up in a small town. At the time, some of my peers in my new high school didn't like me and I couldn't understand why. I became traumatised by my new high school experience, because in my previous school, I was the popular one and now I was the weird outcast. At that time, I felt like everyone was out to get me, but in hindsight they gave me lots of chances and tried to include me but I just misread them and looked for every possible hint of social rejection because of deep-seated feelings of shame. I was just this reactionary empty vessel with no sense of identity.

It's not until 5 years later (with intensive therapy and self help books plus some more socialisation) that I now realise that their maturity level back then is what mine is currently now. Now my mind is crystal clear and I can easily connect with people nowadays whereas before, I had this permanent fog to my mind where I had a mix of OCD, ADHD and anxiety which resulted in extreme shyness and me inadvertently appearing rude because I had an uptight personality (a coping mechanism)

I feel so despondent because I missed such a vital part of the growing up process (late adolescence) where most people had their first girlfriend, became more independent and seamlessly transitioned into adulthood. And high school where I am currently now forms the basis for most people's lifelong freindships. They were good people that wanted to be freinds with me, and they would've been a wonderful social network for me. I wish I could go back in time and set my life on a different path.

At what age did the bulk of your personality and social skills form?

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mentalhealth,DuckDuckPooQuack,2019/01/20,"Do I have a sickness and do I need help? Good evening fellow humans,

I’m here to ask you all if i have a sickness or something bcos i’m not too sure and wether i should seek help. 

I have an issue, with worrying about everyone i love pretty much constantly. Every couple of weeks i’ll spend a couple days where no matter what I do i will always be worrying myself about wether my parents, brothers, cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents, friends and especially my lovely girlfriend are ok, safe and feeling happy. 

I will call them every couple hours, each and every one of them, throughout my 1 or 2 day worrying period. To make sure that they are ok, if they need car lifts everywhere, if they are safe, if their mental health is ok. 

I only just told my girlfriend about this last night as i was panicking about my auntie, who lives in paris (I’m from Australia), has gone through a traumatic and abusive divorce. 

She being the amazing human she is called me and talked to me four two hours assuring me and giving me some things to help me. 

If you have any more questions feel free to ask, i don’t care what it is. 

TIA Legends
Stay safe",4.606136363636363,5.967696750000003,4.951590909090911,84.05238636363636,70.13636363636364,7.6818181818181825,27.84090909090909,8.07648339933343,1.7802272727272728,895,31,170,12,16,283,136,220,0.094,0.645,0.261,0.991,2,0,1,0,1,0,28.0,0,2,6,0,9,17,0,0,6,3,21,5,0,1,4,35,37,16,0,8,9,3,2,0,4,3,3,0,0,2,7,10,0,3,3,0,2,2,3,0,0,3,3,2,33,18,16,29,5,14,0,0,0,2,34,2,0,9,9,113,40,0,0.0,0.13256979276211378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310034717652801,0.0,0.0,0.07608814102534313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092016288232272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22850170977142406,0.0,0.11407796894686625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091191675703633,0.0,0.0,0.37140809757141,0.0,0.1443178879731379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390141964004297,0.0,0.282813122544394,0.10691443115191407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314855964861813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644491866002194,0.0,0.0,0.1073338198007798,0.0,0.09384691848043836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910758323771573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893243750146718,0.0,0.0,0.22498987639518045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22037562829403434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678271508951388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120420993960934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879975667165374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20196780902675446,0.0,0.07468656449571913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275747560763195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225105582125734,0.16592808089055056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049999491155559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581866706244564,0.08509638504902832,0.0,0.0,0.12423914094494296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138310149579636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534093149090764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613737428694439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925844843714865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109075184903976,0.0,0.0,0.08993188484246803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433386902937153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691443115191407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929898488317498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897503521969089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408851652971701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThunderKittyMeows,2019/01/20,"I have really just had it I try so hard to not let words get to me.i would love to say that I dont give a fuck what people say. But behind all the smiles, and the laughs I just want to fucking die. I have no family to support me. I am stuck on SSI and have no motivation to do anything in life. But I dont want to be on the meds because they just make me numb. And numb is worse than anger and hurt. O feel like I can't deal with the anger and hurt when I am on the meds. The meds just push it all deep inside. I dont have a suicide plan, and dont think I could actually kill myself. But I have started self harming again. I think the only positive thing is that I also started making art. I never felt any motivation, or desire to make art since being on my meds. I lost my desire for anything really. I am taking new meds. But I dont know if they will help me yet. I just hope they do. Sometimes I think about how I can help children, and teens who go through abuse. Victims of childhood sexual assault. But I dont know how I could, and I get scared. Today some troll posted on a forum I posted saying that I was just trying to get sympathy. Saying I should just suck it up. Saying they went through abuse but they are fine. I want so bad to cut myself. I finally blocked them. But the words stick inside my head. I hate the pain. But I want to cut myself because I feel like a piece of shit. ",0.7069522814350401,2.552896346801351,2.6277069546035072,94.46424242424244,82.16498316498317,5.443353070939279,18.322187391152912,6.48374012150746,-0.2045605712295364,1073,24,249,10,29,358,147,297,0.227,0.6409999999999999,0.133,-0.987,0,0,0,0,2,4,33.0,0,0,6,4,17,28,12,1,13,0,31,9,2,7,3,60,64,24,3,12,18,0,4,2,0,3,4,5,0,2,9,9,0,1,10,2,0,3,11,21,0,0,6,9,47,7,27,50,4,23,0,3,0,3,19,8,4,4,12,168,56,2,0.0,0.17592638321927978,0.07244829789148717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937032983812868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05048628038699246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218768250451588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198795537093262,0.0905129882820198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855045337898695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653899058828484,0.0,0.0,0.07705021488459883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.522057890500409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998760589367248,0.0,0.0750767442971408,0.1060752648770308,0.07128279718566964,0.08132715233408135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726882093667606,0.11636323971758634,0.07121852694054114,0.042192749631883374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650516198748567,0.0732974061765966,0.07619246502697563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995240680159648,0.0,0.0,0.07373785204072958,0.0,0.0,0.1589525940529709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213643015478872,0.0,0.0816015889751033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591623377539049,0.05243846279781462,0.07254059610306696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104258800315678,0.0,0.06700520802758887,0.0,0.1486689036738127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123238849635768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725907105543846,0.07170221385882569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646346326260955,0.07899743079685577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05146921330923479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220430210939747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512109726557136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29519626465003845,0.0743279783165021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744933123753292,0.0,0.0762071000839579,0.061412745462015673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342603580518746,0.0,0.1050960210626771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120737024867633,0.08424756429645561,0.0,0.0,0.05581983178280467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049322279444530576,0.14271149410343273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037158449498977,0.0,0.0,0.100809240965296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17515655666531674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882195252033736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565770362461767,0.052738524387809,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zach_N,2019/01/20,"How to make myself feel better? On the surface, my life seems to be ""perfect"": I'm 33, have a solid high paying job, I own and rent an apartment, own a car, have friends, and I have a supporting loving family, however, no gf for the past few years.

I've been reading some of the posts here and after seeing some of the truly difficult rough lives some people here are sadly experiencing I genuinely feel bad posting here, like, what right do I have to complain?

I was battling depression up until a year ago, as for a period of 2 years I have been jobless and lonely. Then I have found a new job and started making progress, but the truth is that I'm still not happy. 

I live in a big city, there are people all around me, but my friends are mostly married or with kids, so hanging out with them only happens once in a while. On weekends I'm usually alone in my apartment and just have a general feeling of being left out.

I find myself having pretty drastic mood swings, I can feel great one day and depressed the next day, raising existential questions all of a sudden, what am I doing here? Meaning of life and all that.

Being 33, it's becoming harder and harder to find new people to meet and hang with, I've tried creating some social relationships with a few people from work but it didn't work out. I've been dating women but unfortunately not able to advance to a meaningful relationship.

Therapy is also something I've tried many times over the years, but I never felt like it works for me. I'm on SSRI (Cipralex) pills for 3 years and while it did help reduce depression and better cope with life, my general feeling is still of emptiness.

I try to look at my life objectively and focus on what's good, but sometimes as you're all aware, it doesn't matter what you have if deep down you just don't feel well.

What can I do to make myself feel better? Do you have ideas on how to create new social relationships? What activities/treatments I should try to better my life?

Thanks for your advice.",6.102736572890028,6.218779478260871,6.642557544757036,77.71759590792841,66.2378516624041,9.15294117647059,30.04347826086957,8.841846274778883,2.305149360613812,1580,51,298,23,23,517,200,391,0.098,0.732,0.17,0.985,5,3,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,4,1,10,15,27,1,0,20,0,35,7,0,5,7,71,60,31,0,2,12,0,9,2,3,1,6,0,1,2,13,22,0,0,16,2,2,4,7,9,1,1,8,12,31,17,49,48,13,58,0,5,2,1,20,24,0,9,30,204,44,7,0.07835294849323297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656559444463933,0.0694551612928616,0.0,0.0,0.08115002462609308,0.0,0.06265882460189783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975073594871778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542143918700455,0.0,0.08653467573225251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771872626297729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010623396008676,0.0,0.2024558391765644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386418660558006,0.0,0.27732323500605355,0.0,0.0752311179366409,0.0,0.14322635087893798,0.0,0.0,0.08590996381241706,0.12107058728595885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571873576566158,0.0,0.0863844023239967,0.0,0.0,0.06928725358797977,0.08340817063820354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05251832976574418,0.08278419195848435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845094169519084,0.0,0.0,0.1555064226424916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513070779553082,0.0,0.276715023463728,0.07655858574698547,0.0,0.13837417802417207,0.0,0.0657967430399818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071659511849362,0.0,0.1569036046195476,0.07943759179058607,0.0,0.08534933086307714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060430624184037836,0.22702129770867055,0.08332924961737358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344333298168713,0.05309398568925988,0.05959094804818532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479675515771224,0.21728027571575692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500809318021615,0.07971311701106945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777323422707628,0.0,0.0783741519138578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25236523172799075,0.0,0.0669129898999838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243715555866783,0.07132958157729627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974192753875655,0.0,0.060319927728810264,0.07749306953951267,0.0,0.055458620223922984,0.0,0.12514553175865106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891399742567284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213686792194503,0.08960342512918329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04568823436412487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21278603521715012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629470314411221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704487105062457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711256390465589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522836496365869
mentalhealth,ann0v1,2019/01/20,"Can you feel your anxiety? Sometimes I have physical feelings of anxiety like pins and needles, hot flashes and increased heart rate. I am not even thinking about anything specific, my mind is empty, but I suddenly feel like I’m overwhelmed and I feel like I can’t fall asleep because my stomach is so wired with anxiety. My SO says that it can’t be just physical, is he right? ",5.460416666666667,6.725567541666671,5.9232222222222255,78.24400000000001,68.02777777777777,9.648888888888887,38.01111111111111,9.888512548439397,4.023791111111111,301,17,54,7,5,97,51,72,0.085,0.757,0.158,0.7438,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,9,3,3,0,0,13,15,6,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,6,10,3,3,14,1,4,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5105477538613218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306701663153116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561058194701175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469338487415022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.449933260543768,0.3178533528323491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636181748066595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260506355729565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246228910915504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998106850335064,0.0,0.1769104655479727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200203006131794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254446890792072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,A_Kuhnsy,2019/01/20,"Crying I've always been one to cry very easily in any ""confronting"" moments or as soon as something upsets me and I try to talk about it or even the first moment that I get flustered about something. The simplist of things seem to trigger me. I struggle with it a lot and always have, ever since I could remember my parents would always call me a drama queen for it which would make it worse. Always felt like I was being attacked or judged for it. But it's never been something that I can control or even want to do, it just happens. Does anyone else experience this? Or have any reasoning behind why it happens?",5.243298319327732,6.22364428571429,5.580997899159668,81.54359768907563,68.32773109243698,7.2945378151260485,29.160714285714285,7.1686216300943375,1.6972260504201682,486,17,88,4,8,155,79,119,0.156,0.792,0.052000000000000005,-0.918,1,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,7,5,2,2,4,0,11,0,0,4,2,24,18,10,0,4,7,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,13,3,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,4,1,10,1,14,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,7,7,69,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45302081304701,0.0,0.0,0.18512020930050188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951719319359948,0.13946173987420032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484584052955533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389844848631515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265998967146993,0.10867350780233828,0.0,0.2990229461875023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911159826503995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370322254769236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979998048332238,0.12312013507767633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331426140952097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068784463210567,0.0,0.0,0.11577589353911118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111234684711835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240724904274778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649692862322043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571665132341702,0.0,0.0,0.0908551074127166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497714564119548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223229353711043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113508797239453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399447125521227,0.0,0.0,0.1541871584584326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239102851388922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259237367560047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31435454740477226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229270427797447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940081542589662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904260585644351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241039171370828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230577777292276,0.08028175719643826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281895000335954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870867315660956,0.1933786089613804,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hentaisocialist,2019/01/20,"Anyone else feel better in the mornings mentally and get progressively worse as the day goes on? Title, could this maybe have something to do with my anti-depressants - I take it in the morning ",5.261904761904759,7.702483571428572,5.48,76.55333333333336,70.42857142857143,8.095238095238095,28.809523809523807,8.841846274778883,2.6219523809523806,155,6,25,3,3,49,32,35,0.084,0.838,0.078,-0.0516,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,6,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260970986124756,0.3313150643428188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859809221242371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581723866514898,0.0,0.0,0.20853700705354525,0.0,0.27850489726859096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701213288200457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349783324111736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893946535067178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248532206209845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32586544629180564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489342171165065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431224644545432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295260263728488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,really-really-gay,2019/01/20,"I think things are getting bad again... I feel like I had a mental breakdown about a year or two ago, and there was one part of it that I will always remember. There was one person that I was trying to manipulate into doing bad things, but it was obvious she was trying to manipulate me too. She contributed a lot to my issues. Things are ok now, but she sent me three messages just now. Things feel wrong now and I'm not sure what to do or think. I don't even know what I'm feeling now.

I'm a manipulative person and I like to play with people's feelings and thoughts. I know I'm going to do it again.",1.8289393939393928,3.5022915476190484,3.6740981240981263,89.1229220779221,77.96825396825399,6.486580086580088,20.978354978354982,7.348242739294969,0.4978190476190476,469,12,104,6,11,158,68,126,0.09,0.807,0.103,0.1424,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,4,1,13,0,0,3,2,28,29,8,0,0,6,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,11,6,0,0,10,1,0,2,2,3,0,4,8,4,14,5,10,20,2,11,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,3,10,78,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505644237482765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616107814384726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732641044052503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808227122364636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309639617770071,0.11690401015293005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549482528996362,0.0,0.09300003421276014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079700427973155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986385416241116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989187664369114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912035429380676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491001283166526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217725661339901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772055086445457,0.0,0.11344694622712174,0.2857672002188366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18537152490128805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422818484148476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4348589476450208,0.20970702233548533,0.0,0.129911393895929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222008032311409,0.0,0.15985190252301454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891398019955312,0.0,0.10537839954417312
mentalhealth,Schermant,2019/01/20,"Mentally isolated, having thoughts evaluating myself to be harmful to the ones I care and love. I'm a 22 yrs old guy, last year of college. I'm an introvert and a gentle person, with a good mindset and self-objected principles that I do my best to keep. No smoking, drug or excessive drinking, as I despite addictive substances and my interest in mixology and cocktail is that they are complex, artistic and that they are made to be enjoyed, not to be drunk on.
I forced myself to break up with my 4-year first love 9 months ago. As she goes to a different college, she fell for another guy and hid it from me but when I found out, I went to a direct and serious talk with that person and exposed to her that he really not worthy for her. She was committed to come back to me, but I assume the whole drama had give me PTSD, as I became anxious and obsessive of her friends and her schedule. That pushed her away from me, and in the end I had to break up to free her, as she admitted that she has lost her feelings to me and planned to stay with me only to ""support"" until I finish college.
I still love her a lot, even till now. As first I tried to convince her that I can be better, I can be suitable to her again, I've achieved many things in that time. But she still didn't find me to be attractive anymore, as we couldn't have much time together like we did in highschool. She got over it quickly, and found a new interest in another guy, who is suprisingly similar to me. We tried to be friend, I even tried to find a new affair to forget about her, but it didn't work out in the end. She said that my way of talking and chatting to her is ""flirty"" and that ""I haven't moved on"" and keep hiding her life from me, in subtle ways like post hiding and multiple accounts, but she was bad at it enough to left traces. I hate that she does it, because I'm feeling like I'm being betrayed again, if she truly see me as a friend, why does she have to do it? I'm trying to suppress my feelings as much as I can now, as I want to be her friend, and honestly, want that one day she will realise how much I love and care for her.
But my mental life has been getting pretty bad lately, I have been having a trust issue with my family ever since highschool and now I can't consider them as a mental backup. My close friends have moved far away or getting busier so we don't have much chances to talk anymore, and losing her was a detrimental blow to me. After she got a new affair, and being more and more distant to me, I find myself to be more negative, anxious, self-hating. I'm working hard and looking for new friends right now, to try to fix myself up so that the ones I treasure won't see me in pain, but doing all that just brings fleeting emotions, and after burning my energy into those, I feel like I'm left with nothing.
Now I'm getting really dark sometimes, especially when alone, even though in front of people I' m still smiling, working, keeping up that dorky, hard-working persona (I'm working part time as a restaurant so keeping myself positive to serve the customers with a smile is a part of my job too). I'm questioning my existence, my ""good"" alignment, my belief in friendship and love, even my morals. Then I start questioning about my way of treating people, even thinking that why I keep being nice to them, as they can't even help me with what I'm going through. My thought goes as far as question religious things like God, sins and fate even though I'm an atheist. I even think of the (bad) things I could have done if I'm not good-aligned. That is when I start getting afraid of myself. I scare that in one stormy day, my thought process checks through those negative thoughts and be ""there is nothing else to lose, why can't I think for myself at least for once in my life"" and I will just go for it. I never want my loved ones to be hurt, I'm trying my best to protect, to help and to comfort them, but now that I have that kind of thought, I can't help but perceiving myself as a threat to my loved ones too, be it direct or indirect. I think of removing myself from the society, or even removing myself completely, but I despite suiciding, seeing it as weak and irresponsible, so I can't bring myself to do it. Yet, I don't know how long I can endure this anymore, I keep battling my dark side so people can see me as nice and active, but if they get close to me, I will want to show the dark part of me, hoping that they can help me overcome it, but I don't think that any person would risk themselves being hurt to save me. I think I'm mentally depraved, even getting borderline emotions sometime, and I've broken down a few times, crying out loud or hurting myself to regain conscience. I afraid that one day I will have a complete breakdown, and hurt my loved ones when I'm not in my right mind.
I'm planning to do some solo projects in my field, and returning to the gym to keep myself busy, but as I said, those can only bring temporary sanctuary, not a complete solution. I miss my old self that I can only keep as a persona now, and I know that the people I care about would prefer my old self over this sorry state of self-despited and isolated mind. It's sad that in my country, Vietnam, mental health and disorders aren't that cared about, so if someone can help me indicate what kind of mental problems I'm having, or even think of an advice or a way to help me, I'd appreciate it a lot.",9.536798605501467,5.813963365630716,9.195579694740873,74.44953722205692,62.05301645338209,12.260839250031884,39.610050593087024,9.706407341189486,3.618239216019727,4238,155,872,57,43,1378,383,1094,0.146,0.6940000000000001,0.16,0.9621,2,2,2,0,0,1,136.0,4,0,8,15,51,72,3,5,37,0,81,18,0,3,4,155,175,100,1,15,31,0,5,5,6,7,8,3,0,8,52,58,3,10,32,8,3,14,23,26,0,10,25,13,157,47,146,125,20,119,3,9,5,8,85,41,0,20,60,622,209,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040146881665290096,0.0,0.035986932339500184,0.032644926330226934,0.0,0.0,0.03814168056488525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02504363270514269,0.07723267139802187,0.0,0.08320808796091815,0.10956750797942044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920038476854458,0.02831770094664868,0.0922470565004656,0.0224494062169394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772953593214333,0.032570501600563566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019038265647294,0.0,0.0,0.031723212096174576,0.11583727208758175,0.0,0.0,0.029403374428594486,0.0,0.04045274615357272,0.07125113316891349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03847639191127345,0.04220694914812093,0.0,0.06445513710564035,0.03768682188930913,0.0,0.036076454009075866,0.042707645004778194,0.0,0.030764245066870567,0.08285086904058264,0.06523560800174905,0.03805215044937583,0.0,0.26756285321271706,0.03331214299231587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03471723174054627,0.0,0.0744833802159025,0.052618453019674605,0.0,0.0,0.10097767219793448,0.06265007942372378,0.0,0.08075784110163911,0.17071476024836382,0.0,0.11544357055143728,0.03532782801245445,0.04185928202677315,0.0926662575243131,0.05890785539844536,0.0,0.0,0.10939360283936184,0.0,0.0,0.06597954283990881,0.036359052488233685,0.0,0.039145394293731206,0.0,0.0,0.1481062291938402,0.0,0.0,0.036577534902927235,0.0,0.0,0.15769632274267814,0.0,0.0,0.03843783516851825,0.03654512937948514,0.2618683406205017,0.0,0.07669933699472704,0.04047832810782851,0.030018932045264807,0.041542476416241286,0.0,0.08002531799492935,0.0,0.07803602831487923,0.08995909537660117,0.0,0.0,0.03259074894483472,0.030925417050753225,0.08240001845701099,0.04020103663545351,0.06261802154530867,0.2659025471968747,0.034846611550126194,0.0,0.03733681246408462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22267781279629856,0.0,0.0743695728657504,0.0,0.029394971615477408,0.07828257651044629,0.10828837208214437,0.0,0.02840326388789625,0.14227104031127408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067302726590828,0.0,0.11593127020895945,0.039219568527814164,0.19963950487085252,0.08402581202477145,0.03918653991463597,0.0,0.0,0.1196402037779908,0.0,0.10212485957442144,0.09646778570475277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03527009995409023,0.03746631328673584,0.0,0.03523847926971185,0.04304880919373102,0.0,0.12376405346004793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047184656983422335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290013830965484,0.07006184816235947,0.0,0.03687026602882553,0.0,0.117385450154652,0.0,0.19209303893097265,0.0,0.0,0.030463686945758763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031203409868955825,0.0,0.07284571798929923,0.0412248276491509,0.0521327008068462,0.03925269745584089,0.08823030402863928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0402827765854258,0.04179085962306154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880047779295057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339869610838741,0.16518084712736686,0.0723647095103576,0.14618267943698196,0.08589651321583151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500187526987761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688610920431128,0.11692627978203493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03413901138603514,0.0996919575038666,0.041116046509258576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340525257806884,0.0,0.0,0.05232170894965702,0.0,0.0,0.04743077982055518
mentalhealth,Aimee63,2019/01/20,"Help Is it possible to feel all these emotions in the same time period, kind of overlapping one another?Stress, anger, jealously, loneliness, bordeom, hopelessness, numb, scared, sad/in pain, and insecure. ",18.987419354838707,14.35107612903226,15.151612903225805,41.64741935483872,45.774193548387096,22.72258064516129,60.03225806451614,19.287186520377343,10.85207096774193,164,9,21,8,1,49,30,31,0.513,0.431,0.055,-0.9694,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,2,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38421246105517415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270454222056833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22894251432371315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556853581536917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314519641691838,0.0,0.3634471699618329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850610210250164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419642018179709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912593227425923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19916816275365426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BLUberrymuff,2019/01/20,"I’m stuck I’m a 16 year old girl. I currently go to an art high school. I’m at my lowest. Most recently have my suicidal thoughts increased from once a day to at least four times a day. I don’t feel like I’m on the same level as my classmates. I feel basic st best. And nothing interests me anymore. I do things because I have to. I just want to sleep all day. I go to school with the intention of not talking but suck it up to please my friends. And I would feel like a complete asshole for refusing to talk to these people who genuinely want to see my smile. I have 1 friend who I tolerate the most . I look up to her. And I don’t want to see her upset from me not wanting to talk to her. I find myself distancing from people. My friend that I used to FaceTime everynight for example. Me and him used to talk for hours. Now I won’t answer his calls. I rather sleep than do anything else. And it’s not like I can get medication. My mom has this attitude when it comes to mental heath. I was on anti depressants last year and I literally had to beg her. She would always tell me “your gonna regret it, your not gonna be able to do anything, why do you wanna be on pills so bad?” She has genuinely told me she thinks I’m faking it for attention. I find nothing funny anymore . I want to die.",1.0823133484162888,2.9448651838235307,3.066470588235294,91.71065610859728,80.98529411764707,6.537556561085973,22.59389140271493,7.61054688173877,0.8689854072398187,998,33,226,16,26,336,143,272,0.14800000000000002,0.7140000000000001,0.138,-0.7819,2,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,3,0,1,5,14,1,1,8,0,19,4,2,3,1,41,48,10,2,10,7,1,3,3,3,5,2,0,0,1,11,8,0,1,9,1,0,4,7,6,0,1,5,6,46,8,38,36,7,26,0,2,3,0,27,9,1,2,16,145,57,2,0.10251993010671012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530479454915157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20334444547772404,0.0,0.0,0.16873033442732127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559985937876158,0.062495197837461935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758834166993954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468431105429586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831184205194018,0.10749019619359124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983506209698613,0.0,0.08830026557698425,0.0,0.10639950164121363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564224653405356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551147112356686,0.14648051710536866,0.0,0.0,0.1874027176248003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376199310662859,0.0,0.05356243212668416,0.0,0.11652887770471958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831793489248563,0.0,0.0,0.1009614800878118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356742618976568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502581781053343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609092098545185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327804393884037,0.10331597660266348,0.0,0.0,0.12007010308100675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196741275830387,0.0,0.10757742093849956,0.10918037967508433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421488221459206,0.0,0.0,0.11253609709995614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122606288385287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20751128509168065,0.16339022198990366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20518793754830825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121401638787612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3296065457353665,0.08960693766209818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810968613866511,0.06569063163903595,0.0,0.08138937291740958,0.05978019568866137,0.0,0.0,0.09796218661204746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17708860646549132,0.0,0.0,0.30234455488367923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925082909662422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565443381462892,0.0,0.0,0.13203894748156114
mentalhealth,santosj22,2019/01/20,"Repost from another thread. I think I’m having a panic attack. I posted in r/casualconversations and was told to try here.

I’m having shortness of breath which lead me to thoughts about death and dying which just freaked me out. Not suicidal thoughts just dying in general

Currently freaking out about the not being able to breath which is keeping me up since It gets worse as I lay down so I can’t sleep. Any advice helps.
",3.4028703703703727,5.957851555555558,4.092083333333335,83.75812500000002,76.65432098765432,6.519135802469138,23.70524691358025,7.6454224807358475,1.2303691358024689,340,11,63,5,8,108,59,81,0.208,0.722,0.07,-0.9044,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,1,1,2,0,6,3,3,1,0,14,14,4,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,4,0,7,0,14,9,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,41,11,1,0.2174321377174141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247216851246253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786130971354688,0.2279965546540394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473604461761269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513204616865494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359931777681315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574017863922611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932636744064961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551097652401946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20823988413903616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986211120155893,0.0,0.21758916460691105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23783546799886365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393217343243967,0.0,0.34523365988432114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077657254385466,0.0,0.14762214888975672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215819240812514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liven96,2019/01/20,How do you deal with intrusive thoughts? I've recently been having a lot of intrusive thoughts and they have been annoying me greatly. Any tips for dealing with them?,4.7650000000000015,7.6997975000000025,4.436666666666671,81.06500000000003,74.0,9.333333333333334,36.66666666666667,9.725611199111238,4.328666666666667,135,8,23,4,3,41,26,30,0.102,0.898,0.0,-0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,7,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,4,1,4,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21347000230132676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6472561801654135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460875930930395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668756038862655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099488903812621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4984199741823973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anon660throwaway,2019/01/20,"A doctor made me realize that I had depression and anxiety I had some health issues and went to my university health center yesterday to get them checked out. I get some tests and blood draws taken and I’m told to wait in a room for a doctor. The doctor comes in a bit and starts off asking questions about the health issue that I was there about. The questions then start shifting towards mental health issues, and I was asked a lot of very deep questions and I had to try super hard not to cry. 
I’m also an international student, so I didn’t really know how health care worked here, or that my doctor would come and ask me questions about my mental health.
He finally finished with the questions and told me that he had made me a referral to the university psychological services, and the paper he handed me had the words depression and anxiety written on it in addition to my original ailment. I was overwhelmed.
Time and time again, I’d been told by my family and myself that I didn’t really have any mental health issues and that it was just how my brain worked, I had nothing to be depressed or anxious about, etc. I had accepted that and resigned myself to the fact that I’d never have a fulfilling life, or even a life. Now, all of a sudden, I have this kind doctor with a degree actually validating my mental health issues. When I told my mom that I might be depressed, she took me to a place of worship and asked me to pray, saying that would definitely “cure” me. When I told my sister, who actually has a Ph.D., that I would like to see a therapist, she dismissed it by saying that drugs were bad and that therapists were for crazy people.
I feel so thankful for this and oh my god I was crying all day yesterday. I now just need to wait until I get a call from the university psychological services so that I can be scheduled to be seen by a therapist regularly. I know this is not a miracle cure, but I need help, and I might finally be able to get it.",7.169818652849743,6.322675282383418,7.802803108808291,73.49575906735755,64.31088082901555,11.036062176165805,33.03056994818653,10.355215969177356,3.2039807253886003,1553,53,299,32,20,519,169,386,0.054000000000000006,0.855,0.091,0.8937,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,3,20,14,0,1,26,0,33,19,3,5,4,65,69,33,0,5,8,2,3,1,0,5,16,2,1,0,22,25,0,2,10,0,1,4,5,7,0,0,29,7,47,7,39,30,7,36,2,6,2,0,27,11,0,13,22,216,69,12,0.056739206903753614,0.0,0.11073856241813873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04537432326162092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0385846063648622,0.0,0.08681067595866564,0.06409915362809111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121739969003489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047374867766378594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06194451861314984,0.0,0.0,0.06333971968693805,0.057937074072369366,0.0,0.05784940290828925,0.0,0.0,0.09775160542971692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246507090317434,0.036592094535448635,0.0,0.19547758306171467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903749125602377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579946650236784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632792140296768,0.03747571103972435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348867460876002,0.0,0.028689047832952837,0.0,0.0,0.12431005554507822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857557513123113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082718466975174,0.0,0.0,0.48248898955007596,0.0,0.0,0.038031094376435336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961049534938632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059085152725861186,0.0623647685117015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015315962763797,0.027719910485130842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482376446963314,0.0,0.10737601893792184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22871910142038646,0.12038266420473165,0.0,0.0664522733733542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414280595850628,0.04376077422532772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444279928902406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03933582193465798,0.0,0.059280394889827365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178044855486087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269717766594372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902425893497514,0.0,0.0,0.04521380185240975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032060536314409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05223783856411581,0.0,0.197635777167744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617017566038766,0.0,0.0,0.2710837185091527,0.06303934657624,0.03852219702829054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046815787906049726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052597813245568815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261363677325076,0.0,0.0,0.12091771397115494,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thoupp,2019/01/21,"What to do? Seek help? I wouldn’t say it’s a NEW problem, but definitely for the last few years it’s become a problem, worsening regularly. I have almost a fear of leaving the house with electronics, especially new ones, turned on or even plugged in. I can leave my alarm clock, and tvs and all that plugged in, but I freak out if I leave anything charging with no one in the house. I’m scared it’ll suddenly burst into flames for no reason. It isn’t even that I don’t understand tech either. I have certifications with computer hardware, and am a young man, so I understand it all very well. 
But for example, I recently bought a new humidifier for my room. I’m nervous even being on a different floor while it’s on, in case something were to happen (even though it works great) 
Any ideas of what this could be, if anything specific? (I also have depressive disorder and anxiety if that helps)",4.417776789684304,5.9371168959537615,5.4924855491329465,79.3866518452646,70.79190751445087,9.48492663405958,30.07069808803913,9.851270322608157,2.9290634948866163,705,29,138,18,13,233,105,173,0.242,0.7120000000000001,0.046,-0.9872,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,8,10,0,4,9,0,14,0,0,1,2,28,21,15,0,7,8,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,13,9,0,0,4,0,1,0,5,8,1,2,2,1,12,2,20,14,4,21,0,1,0,0,4,11,0,5,10,95,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245433243718674,0.0,0.0,0.09779412055909492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316041706702819,0.0,0.09355041684664668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012661372483908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505811136530274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097637467752743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532696110041613,0.0,0.0,0.1277655217295561,0.14015328908588498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230817731275346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760863289923422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482357367811876,0.0,0.0,0.10813937340258127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393489361809474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822091684754661,0.0,0.13804890389602004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996815014092731,0.0,0.3884577970405119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543211718167383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657317918249324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340272808964571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573301106491724,0.12074520408345055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724877450568084,0.12243218611410885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414371115171692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014789337211275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301484173638622,0.0,0.2546134160099121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009008725079042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995210542573597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902753114184901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874982591646502
mentalhealth,ejmolloy,2019/01/21,"I feel like I’m drowning and I don’t know what to do. I have depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder. I’m in college, in the US (Ohio) and lately I have been so overwhelmed...I have a crazy amount of classes, my friends have essentially shunned me, I have no money, and I was just diagnosed with mono. Anyway, it feels like everything is crumbling. I’ve attempted suicide 3 times and I’m at the point where I don’t want to die, but I think about it and feel like there aren’t many options. I can’t tell anyone because they will throw me into inpatient and I will fall behind in school, then become even more stressed. Help.",1.2375466666666703,3.7447771280000026,2.5751999999999997,91.44226666666668,85.72,5.8933333333333335,23.53333333333333,7.3011,1.0860133333333333,491,19,101,8,15,158,84,125,0.146,0.74,0.114,-0.4222,1,0,0,0,0,2,21.0,1,0,1,1,7,6,0,1,4,0,15,3,0,0,0,18,24,10,3,1,2,0,3,3,1,2,2,0,0,0,3,9,1,0,5,0,1,2,5,2,0,0,2,3,15,4,11,20,2,12,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,1,6,65,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073776374862296,0.0,0.0,0.12863721414976925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214737445925152,0.20318216861421204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584544619615141,0.18672729254022735,0.1909334663419882,0.0,0.2108473821158476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18824886639984928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151150093870222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534180365266274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27906469278107365,0.3942880246301113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213599503319616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331227965557735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110597527447612,0.0,0.2075279681607542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269637680152165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651831803751848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739126185981816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861890721125712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21073883619390765,0.0,0.0,0.20123506102247446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079927962263815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788156722134015,0.0,0.0,0.1072753143142288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212951724409375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851121105478123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,meggylouise93,2019/01/21,"I just didn’t want to be alone on my birthday.... My friend offered to come over once I got out of work, not to mention it was a shitty day, and she was waiting for me to get home but sitting in her car. Well I’m pretty sure she got drunk sitting in her car, came inside to pee, did a shoddy job washing dishes while talking to the boy she’s interested in. And now she’s leaving to see the boy. Well she was the one who asked to hang out with me for my birthday and now she’s leaving. 

I’m so hurt by all this. ",2.0129464285714285,2.6127986875,3.6717857142857135,93.67321428571432,75.51785714285714,5.957142857142857,24.714285714285715,5.148860815047168,0.2545499999999996,391,12,95,1,8,131,70,112,0.105,0.738,0.157,0.6598,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,5,0,6,4,1,0,2,15,17,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,3,8,2,1,0,1,0,5,2,1,2,1,8,1,15,5,20,8,1,18,0,1,1,0,16,7,0,0,4,63,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20979087292777165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893660775310907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316744585560995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744873392877289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063431922959398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649720569790368,0.0,0.10582913967605734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32401116634908755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031840038013432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168444646100872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20100935460192945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4289631800828663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21571958538386035,0.1372597686357684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20607614697098564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141394199365658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091022246337436,0.0,0.0,0.16280990137018578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194750232902132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642511888773708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474659531787615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,latrishahope,2019/01/21,"Hard time wanting therapy [mental health]

Has anyone had a hard time finding a therapist they can trust? I am bi polar and on meds but I also know I need therapy. The first therapist I saw said I had borderline personality disorder which is just ridiculous. The second one was really simple and I felt like she just didn’t understand me. I find therapists are very judgmental, because they always call me out on stuff even though they already know I have major PTSD with things and especially the fact that my mother was abusive to me growing up and they don’t even acknowledge it they just tell me to brush it off when she says something that triggers me. I used to cut myself and am often suicidal, and the only advice I’ve ever gotten was to take a walk. I also HATE my initial intakes (same for the psychiatrist) because I have to bring up my past and that triggers my PTSD. All I want is coping strategies for my bi polar symptoms and my PTSD. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with constructive criticism, but not the type where it’s completely negative about me. Does this make sense? Trying not to sound like a narcissist who wants my behavior to be justified lol. ",4.4492874937717986,6.385070852017943,5.3806801195814655,78.55175759840559,71.42152466367713,8.90174389636273,28.53238664673643,9.444778638647367,2.7503684105630293,932,36,167,22,18,305,137,223,0.177,0.735,0.087,-0.9805,0,0,1,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,5,1,13,8,3,0,10,1,18,4,0,4,3,38,36,14,1,4,7,1,3,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,11,11,0,0,7,0,0,3,6,4,0,3,10,8,34,4,18,25,3,16,0,0,1,2,14,7,0,1,8,121,45,1,0.0,0.1312734598261871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826718111450692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226457391615594,0.17720477091053946,0.09218996598126047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774701463143569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507869500366934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313365357566775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616600898905452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269801872691063,0.0,0.09695708343438172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635755008870835,0.10022004055907548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638017154013488,0.0,0.2025284774898732,0.09424181299778926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05788559507973984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985003624957488,0.10938670970225113,0.0,0.1177694573634515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177960708399665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825727050199524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395624236569402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306780133296502,0.0,0.11165487729804256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215277706554178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507727467415493,0.08426427055017485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576596310883128,0.0,0.096741553555057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38853880440031896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097784489180801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539101711491708,0.08810829684385972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529508048097323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268332865260616,0.1211912876381084,0.0,0.0,0.1151579909227694,0.08330373547111597,0.0,0.09683934623386208,0.0,0.25340651574137063,0.385923139997101,0.07360699572988204,0.0,0.1088551121410392,0.0,0.12921042096210286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522224695241693,0.0,0.0,0.1153410649761968,0.0,0.0956909438209581,0.0,0.09141713170083747,0.1960485413041039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113648021164727,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mila755,2019/01/21,"Hearing whispers as a child I’m not sure if this is related to this topic but i don’t know where else to ask, and I feel like more people here can probably understand and help me. Also, english is not my first language so I apologize if I make any mistakes or if it’s hard to understand.

Okay so this happened to me at least five times. I never told anyone because I was afraid it would be something bad so I just kept it for myself until now. I was probably 10-12 (I’m currently 16) and this used to happen when I was playing (by myself), singing a song in my head or just immersed in my thoughs, anything that required concentration, when I suddenly started hearing this soft whispers, like someone was right beside me whispering something right into my ear, what i remember is that it said nothing coherent, or at least nothing that I could understand, like I remember the sound perfectly but I can’t put it into words, just like a female voice going “skskwdkdwk”, no vowels, just like that. And I couldn’t stop it, I just had to wait until it stopped.

Does this happen to someone else?
What could be causing this to happen?",4.5897935779816486,6.0055770045871615,5.420997706422019,80.4643405963303,70.23853211009174,8.385779816513761,31.973623853211013,8.841846274778883,2.7581,889,40,163,16,16,290,121,218,0.084,0.7709999999999999,0.145,0.9411,3,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,15,12,0,1,4,1,17,2,2,3,3,45,39,22,0,8,15,0,3,5,0,1,0,10,0,1,20,6,0,5,7,3,0,2,7,3,0,2,8,13,25,9,19,25,3,24,0,0,0,0,8,9,0,6,18,121,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840802121950282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517883360116569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730020251763213,0.0,0.0909744922848958,0.0,0.10335076025287412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923059125446782,0.0673911885827047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356687749563933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17653280732121174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674439176330443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18470324077806885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055898176926163584,0.07897803746148523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403507772913387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282898402173147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.391041423095042,0.0,0.09903245928103516,0.0,0.11345776725911155,0.0,0.24919922528510496,0.0,0.07410036242847315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06075623151602377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700494749246228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379400690833314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526415774815542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121543555389758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664251343727027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23838650187193294,0.0,0.0,0.1111348254805762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250466672936106,0.1888208107484663,0.10515982419169063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18733991078263065,0.17021594274993834,0.0,0.0,0.07824894425824308,0.0,0.0,0.18485206397711865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419351178880293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861632014269852,0.0,0.06446348808500997,0.0,0.0,0.10563672762692244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452641348480481,0.0,0.09548102964009256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853263736069628,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,timeladybyday,2019/01/21,"How to ask for help My whole family (husband, myself, and our two children) see the same doctor. I have been advocating for my husband and working with said doctor to get him medication for his almost crippling anxiety. I have had depression and anxiety issues for years that i'm currently not medicated for but I've noticed what I think to be postpartum anxiety rearing its head. My youngest is 6 months old so it's still in the fairly common time frame for something like this to show up. My question or concern is that if I seek medication our doctor may worry my husband is abusing meds. Does anyone have any ideas how to go about this? She's prescribed me medication before when my depression was too much for me on my own but I'm worried and don't want to unintentionally derail my husband's treatment. ",6.291372549019606,7.322006797385622,7.1129477124183005,71.31726470588238,65.99346405228758,9.780130718954249,34.90784313725489,9.888512548439397,3.624532549019608,652,30,111,14,10,217,102,153,0.16399999999999998,0.805,0.032,-0.9592,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,2,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,2,0,12,8,1,2,0,19,21,12,0,2,5,4,0,1,0,1,7,1,0,1,7,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,2,20,1,18,15,4,12,0,2,1,0,14,3,0,5,9,79,27,4,0.0,0.14997321119805293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267487202814308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607679476528643,0.0,0.2904934937240171,0.0,0.0,0.08850567837650153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833253793638306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770782210464623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180414080074746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3886711946792955,0.11076850698004577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932566119835457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613133064149658,0.0,0.07193670483956784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990466171237255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484198787423225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289018246087914,0.0,0.13211364692882732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061839196263347426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059866621498848,0.5100526022098897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103266441682356,0.0,0.09304876102566807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441089112475003,0.13282141439763231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179536377474572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040384468483432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086559146946218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744526529631477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108466639496308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110551945615646,0.0,0.0,0.07380814742597777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364747203785124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465847584881309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413188549203831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214966442965836,0.2570904569043773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151152726603117
mentalhealth,dail_yyy,2019/01/21,"told my mom i’m suicidal and she said ok. i’ve been debating taking some time off from school since it only makes my depression and anxiety worse, and i have ADD. all of my doctors recommend it too. brought this up with my mom and she asked why I don’t want to go back for the semester and i said blatantly “if i go back i’m afraid ill kill myself” and she was quite literally unfazed by this confession. she also doesn’t believe that depression is real and tells everyone, myself included, that im just lazy. ",1.4752941176470602,4.0071611372549025,3.4583333333333366,85.40750000000003,84.68627450980392,8.105882352941178,24.18627450980393,8.841846274778883,2.2604156862745097,404,16,81,12,12,136,72,102,0.235,0.7120000000000001,0.053,-0.9709,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,1,1,1,1,6,2,0,1,2,18,18,9,2,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,9,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,6,2,14,1,8,12,2,8,1,2,0,0,12,2,0,2,3,50,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597494677598804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007441427838748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895745579183196,0.0,0.0,0.2614890285728772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915684266951934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29289752487832377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403549162729715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624733617891635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19326680182407974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836643019784524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881157936820902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134980290627064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982800705582337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931739528572722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085051734749186,0.0,0.1935342354099999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32347973182060125,0.0,0.0,0.17208199032731972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065265964215656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18598798217035076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784329607744535,0.0,0.1486159191122287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991473312086768,0.0,0.0,0.1624733617891635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028958713454944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342790464833356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17327766666615385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Doubleliftsaltacc,2019/01/21,"Mental health getting worse. I have had a long history with mental problems for simple things such as ADHD (I've just learned to have fun with it) to more serious bouts of depression. I have had some aspects of bipolar like depression but not really serious enough to get diagnosed. Over the past three months my situation has gotten worse, previously I might have a depressed night or rough day a day or two a month but now my situation has become worse and only a day or two a week I can get through the day without suicidal thoughts and can't relax at night without drinking (in moderation, this isn't a drinking problem by any stretch of the imagination, I have not had any sort of hangovers). Life hasn't been worse for me, I got my degree, I just got into a better job and have started working towards a new savings account. I love life but I don't want to lose any of it. I am feeling that if I just end my life now I won't have to worry about losing or knowing that I will lose everything around me. Help?",5.172957692307693,5.883624564999997,5.9860000000000015,79.5476153846154,68.35,8.953846153846156,32.884615384615394,9.057496981413335,2.7873076923076923,803,35,155,14,13,264,115,200,0.166,0.6729999999999999,0.161,0.2446,1,0,2,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,5,8,16,0,0,12,0,22,9,0,0,0,34,34,12,1,4,15,0,2,1,0,3,6,0,0,0,6,7,2,0,5,3,1,0,9,10,0,3,8,2,19,6,26,23,3,23,0,6,0,1,2,7,0,8,17,110,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603742724545213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969771774761575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595225845830212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663472883802112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539290272299083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490736826106322,0.0,0.2494817635772401,0.09799882707469157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891695231205259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551691951947292,0.09976461589611924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677522500297682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04881988094056592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133419974599094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544438224301837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263086789304678,0.0,0.0,0.06471715305115096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581352833839962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053062767913302514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20459380873230806,0.04717070909592278,0.0,0.0,0.08544598693768758,0.0,0.3240528890266048,0.0,0.0,0.08714246492516907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19460456417363112,0.102427019676697,0.0,0.0,0.15413468189646215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325107465791314,0.0,0.18121609432787944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343258101503998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217035410041732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18477554133416016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061854049305359086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170582702309309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683404066550939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561284147713944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414523785605887,0.0,0.0,0.07665195628876871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18863566431573167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694920792327105,0.0,0.07744864843589662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614646577313154,0.0,0.07029142157002256,0.0980538225491306,0.39358127396380704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LaLithium2476,2019/01/21,"Cut Here I am thinking “ where’s a good place to cut so no one can see it?”  And I know it’s fuxked up. I’m reading so many others posts which make me feel good in a way knowing that I’m not alone in these desease.. I like to reason that I’m 42 and that I should know better and that this is just tonight that I feel this way but then again FUCK I’m tired of not letting it out.
Today I was given a warning at work 30 days blah blah.. for being disrespectful to others, which means that I’ve pointed out the truth or that I caught someone doing something, but do THEY get a write up NOPE I do.  I actually texted my 16 yr old “ if I kill my self would u promise to go on?” Well/- how fucked is that?
Ok where do I cut?",-0.08374999999999844,1.7072333757961822,1.8406966560509552,99.34282842356691,84.66878980891721,4.4345541401273865,18.092754777070066,5.148860815047168,-0.7673436305732482,548,13,137,2,16,181,100,157,0.211,0.685,0.104,-0.972,0,1,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,9,14,6,0,5,1,13,3,0,3,1,26,32,11,1,3,7,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,18,5,0,0,8,1,0,2,4,6,1,1,3,3,15,8,14,25,0,23,0,0,1,2,3,12,2,2,7,87,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.16376419566353992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380675198311768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841960316941585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822742861000706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970561076912746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102863518484214,0.08767692691090513,0.0,0.0953736927905162,0.28151217600970696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18566352572037476,0.0,0.2766818332307185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160321669189846,0.0,0.08198641458468514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201847450250453,0.17013907115985136,0.0,0.18280080689555409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609464877509853,0.0,0.1137164559716126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17533198870855934,0.0,0.15864035073123575,0.0,0.1607213270194502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786140049055573,0.0,0.0,0.1725427844531515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337276145105118,0.0,0.17506867385332986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421899412873311,0.12919294561778685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752970842184006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928797904437771,0.15906993356354573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26640903873929644,0.0,0.0,0.15088672629376385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217203728838733,0.0,0.0,0.11921166236075716,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,foamysoymilk,2019/01/21,"Personal victories [Eating Disorder Recovery] I just wanted to pat myself on the shoulder for how well I recovered in the last year. So much has happened in 2018 and it makes me hopeful for the future.

\+ I had my first period again after approx. 3 years of no menstruation - huge success

\+ After years of being too light-headed to drive, I got my license and now I commute 40 minutes to work and can functionally take myself around.

\+ I can work a full day, be very productive, and not feel like I'm on the verge of dying all day. I can focus on tasks and real goals instead of just fixating on food/hunger.

\+ Without giving numbers whatsoever, I am weight-restored and no longer losing hair, breaking nails, no more dizzy spells, no more isolation just to avoid socialization surrounding food.

\+ I worked to break my 'food rules' almost every single week, until I slowly broke them all. I have officially broken all of my food rules as of this week - and you know what? I didn't die. I'm still the same. and it's okay.

\+ I eat the foods I like, I don't force myself to exercise, I let myself get sleep instead of staying awake to burn more calories.

\+ In fact, I don't even count calories anymore. I don't weigh myself every single day, either.

​

It just feels really good, guys. I feel like myself again. I overcame a lot in the last year, and it's not perfect, but I can keep working to make 2019 even better. Recovery is really worth it.",2.343829787234043,4.862924517730498,3.767489361702129,84.79400000000003,80.41843971631207,6.455035460992909,22.52056737588652,7.675431598112923,1.2322473758865256,1142,37,213,19,30,375,163,282,0.102,0.8240000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.1068,0,2,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,1,1,10,17,13,0,1,9,1,16,11,3,3,5,39,32,14,2,2,9,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,10,7,2,4,1,1,1,11,3,1,1,3,4,34,10,31,26,13,38,0,2,0,0,6,13,0,3,24,143,41,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335960416195163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101815691141013,0.11328856942048735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246230355141877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299733402865507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245720820023372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038314528475116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935227292854144,0.0,0.1068533495763868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19080172328371306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315932744396843,0.0,0.15710602103248006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142455492181238,0.13321166462301126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930413086904659,0.5636899096403156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04871051035217259,0.08943780189232949,0.0,0.07819960305929652,0.07456712452249772,0.0,0.0,0.09231554772803846,0.08244583016583068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568418339318033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092601626095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286997137933548,0.0,0.0,0.05123854046397056,0.15199503894421065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953372860756274,0.0,0.13664712839752033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430412710462048,0.0,0.07926355115696003,0.0,0.0,0.12446779909230968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853714560453109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140765313783904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061198178040028,0.11945517856781628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330055375798103,0.09503952852958474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937420940674282,0.07445617139583284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009977980619699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692717219103316,0.054991369830823936,0.0,0.149572133637894,0.11353294702514193,0.0838278632941418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987349881865682,0.0,0.2714995836078658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328856942048735,0.2401565523753119
mentalhealth,sleepylittlesnake,2019/01/21,"I always regret calling suicide prevention hotlines. I always get someone who sounds like they've never had a mental health crisis in their life, like they're hardly listening. Last time I called, the woman on the other end sounded so exasperated when I told her about my PTSD that I legitimately got angry and told her off before hanging up.   


Has anyone here actually had a positive experience with these services? Because at this point I doubt I'll ever call again. I'd rather struggle through my bad times *alone* than have the situation downplayed by someone who doesn't even *know* me. ",4.583181818181821,7.588147386792457,5.200257289879932,74.94277015437395,75.13207547169812,6.873413379073758,28.504288164665518,8.00094639256281,2.360916981132076,477,20,74,8,11,153,87,106,0.227,0.7,0.073,-0.9585,0,1,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,0,8,6,0,2,5,0,5,2,0,0,2,9,11,3,1,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,5,4,12,2,10,6,0,15,0,1,0,0,12,6,0,1,10,47,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.1542417195223671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370032644713306,0.0,0.0,0.26303368488061896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105177653360242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197175233031733,0.09635063457693067,0.0,0.1344956394501347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841843925302711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399923937239294,0.0,0.0,0.10439575853015833,0.14297242810837565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461096440382358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257873410229033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641334907387328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158884115438514,0.0,0.0,0.16800816665338816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868644934773291,0.1288382919322196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164097579157872,0.15443822151450812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928519713613604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190400374998972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941581328735412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18476123793721755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17766371261937405,0.0,0.0,0.2678439075657509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16523644503715088,0.0,0.17288969913145644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843296761685886,0.0,0.0,0.30206221185707033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slipperytunas,2019/01/21,"Favourite songs for an off day? When I’m feeling particularly sad or anxious I like to listen to music, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I think we should share our favourite artists or songs for when it’s a bad day. ",1.6815957446808518,3.198882212765959,3.052074468085109,94.10875,77.93617021276594,5.5510638297872354,24.51595744680851,5.985473137389443,0.30449361702127664,172,6,41,1,4,56,34,47,0.181,0.6509999999999999,0.168,-0.3933,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,7,5,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,4,3,5,6,0,5,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,5,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442093764785324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32830949053332553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5071689898417531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19881610486747214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19209994915197132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664456729879945,0.29904988390998105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705907653066384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519496873329591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thelonebovine,2019/01/21,"Can a therapist be mentally unstable themselves? I've struggled and am struggling with all kinds of varying problems in my life - some of which i'll probably post about in future. Im studying psychology and intend to go to university for a course in mental health and psychological well being in hopes of helping those brave enough to get help. Is it appropriate to give advice even when I myself can often dissasociate, breakdown and display different forms of emotional instability? 

I know im not here for an answer. I'd like to know other peoples opinions on this and advice to consider in future. Appreciate you reading - and yes, i'm new to reddit.
",6.2407250470809785,8.302210059322036,7.523333333333331,64.47637476459514,67.05084745762713,9.990207156308852,35.14500941619586,10.25414643259724,4.253787947269304,529,26,80,14,9,180,86,118,0.081,0.74,0.18,0.8924,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,2,3,1,6,2,0,1,1,18,13,7,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,5,5,21,11,4,12,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,4,5,56,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221392045453449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221187634362164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541114311186185,0.0,0.17031306477249966,0.0,0.10886841303025437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611667617862616,0.1581195961201077,0.09367647461397396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752061840174565,0.0,0.0,0.2209636468899832,0.0,0.0,0.16371300958216406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560885606714503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164469018603126,0.1811721029034293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642403900985178,0.08052742910355999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33221898811938355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591934793279363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427210826573775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157861218014606,0.0,0.17771421453509575,0.1577196907788759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487423063567586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446314256293988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19137989932951446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14820162847515247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hossbonaventure007,2019/01/21,"Anxiety Depression or just terrible self esteem? First let me start off by apologizing if I offend anyone suffering from anxiety or depression by making it sound like I'm trivializing or minimizing your legitimate diseases. I am asking this because I'm at a general loss for words and don't know if I should seek medication psychological help or if its something so small that I'm just being a wuss and its not worth worrying over. To start off I'm a junior in college in a fraternity, have been in it since I came to school here. I've never done drugs until I got here but since I've been here I've picked up smoking weed a lot and only use other drugs in a recreational amount ( special occasions, less than once a month). Every time I am at a party or gathering that's not just me and my four best friends I feel just horrible. I can't stand still and I keep looking for people to talk to but even when its a party of guys who are supposed to be my brothers I feel like none of them really want to talk to me so I don't even try. With girls its even worse. From an objective standpoint I'm a good looking guy, I've been told that by most people. I'm 6'4 work out all the time and am pretty muscular, in way better shape than my fraternity brothers who get girls regularly. But when it comes to talking to girls at any type of social gathering whatsoever thats not a class mandated project I am literally paralyzed. Last night at a party my best friend said himself how I hadn't talked to a single girl since I've been there. Its to the point now where I leave social functions as early as I can to get home and get on my computer and watch movies. I don't even feel normal when I smoke weed or get drunk anymore, if anything it makes these feelings worse. I just feel worthless and not worth talking to at these things so I am paralyzed by fear and I don't even know what I'm really afraid of in the first place. Please someone tell me what's wrong with me I don't know why I'm like this and I wish I wasn't so badly. ",4.814074693422518,5.164537248792271,5.925797101449278,80.9382943143813,69.02415458937196,9.461018208844298,28.72500929022668,9.466822959209583,2.2894882199925686,1607,53,336,32,26,537,206,414,0.116,0.723,0.161,0.9811,0,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,7,25,21,1,2,17,0,25,5,1,5,2,62,61,35,0,8,22,2,5,3,2,1,3,2,1,7,23,16,1,1,8,1,2,2,14,11,0,3,11,10,36,10,49,46,9,43,0,5,3,0,31,22,0,12,20,215,59,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847822854876988,0.0,0.13156890862587867,0.0,0.08528200692204925,0.06012834588088364,0.0,0.07076495999083908,0.0,0.08039190140698035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180061184278283,0.05242057025012888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804888189096412,0.07605387201492977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835315001283497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407540547742705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813139040928666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800075490914072,0.0,0.0,0.19944929354089244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839880203111779,0.0,0.07245286056353067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967660982084678,0.217403370680726,0.061433458112795575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629130311381594,0.0,0.0,0.13287604723045698,0.0,0.17971129515372292,0.0,0.0,0.07212689748418126,0.06877650442862432,0.0,0.0,0.1702932952774037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05763933439866169,0.0,0.08625804903410579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643458146024168,0.0,0.0,0.14177860797381098,0.07009581994757917,0.0,0.09105423244240952,0.0,0.08793372843571437,0.0,0.12603559399095968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442502232422574,0.0,0.0,0.07310822312224717,0.0,0.0,0.11480206847604235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662895942296849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686388388039848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632314795234717,0.0,0.0,0.08069865999148973,0.08425493919009462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157980070050667,0.0,0.06540159591905025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923351833613345,0.0,0.08984444335255913,0.09439455490718317,0.08129123561356616,0.0,0.0,0.08748585546902862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017871039552768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179909076342455,0.0,0.0,0.08702956606469348,0.0,0.0,0.08970951431440237,0.0,0.0,0.2134030396420608,0.0,0.0,0.1753181873826239,0.0728616393356957,0.06620165760739391,0.0,0.0,0.12173265869776785,0.0,0.06867416753074469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34558981496786945,0.07516172335083374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057129966949331326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100286487797482,0.0,0.0,0.0821700524656123,0.0,0.058383641930129675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427039242171253,0.0,0.0,0.05072093385557164,0.06825728712120052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759535985352765,0.0,0.09888777328862808,0.0,0.0,0.06260397069737568,0.08733012502124983,0.17526854623163698,0.0,0.09401990995864312,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anime_weirdness,2019/01/21,"Is this emotionally healthy? The feelings of sadness, happiness, fear and so on are, I've felt, essential to feeling 'normal'. And for at least the past 4~ years, I haven't really had many true, genuine emotions. I thought that when I graduated college, I would be able to move somewhere more 'active' and be able to experience the full gamut of emotional experiences that I never got the chance to have as a burgeoning adult

So here I am, a recent 21 years old college grad, working as a researcher at some energy company, over a thousand miles from my friends and families. And I feel more numb than ever before. I don't feel depressed, just empty.

In an effort to feel something, I decided to take a crack at watching anime for the first time in my life. I've always liked new experiences, so I thought it'd be fun.

And Christ, I love it so much. For what feels like the first time in my life, I have powerful, long-lasting emotions, purely because of the shows I watch. I can't put in words how much I appreciated having my stomach drop in the climax of Parasyte: The Maxim, how much I cried in the last episode of Made in Abyss, how much I wanted the protagonists in Girls Last Tour to have a happy ending, and so for more shows. It gave me an emotional high that I always vaguely knew I wanted, but never knew that I craved this much.

And now it's all I really think about. Trying to track down the next anime that'll elicit the same, powerful emotions from deep inside me that the 'real world' has, historically, failed to give me. I think about it when I workout, when I go to work, when I go to bed at night. It's one of the first things in my life that I've ever been obsessed by.

So, this leads to my question: should I take a step back from going deeper down this rabbit hole? None of this feels particularly emotionally healthy, to depend on some series on the internet to give me a sense of completeness. But I could also be overthinking it. I don't know.

To people who had similar reasons for getting into anime, what do you think?",6.1805156215861965,6.156517261306536,6.724022285339742,77.67560956958705,66.08542713567839,9.635306969630763,31.37469958488093,9.318704503766252,2.600699016823248,1602,56,311,27,23,525,203,398,0.049,0.851,0.1,0.9388,2,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,1,0,10,22,14,0,2,26,0,25,6,1,8,7,56,55,26,0,6,3,0,8,2,1,3,4,0,1,2,23,9,0,0,19,3,0,7,7,6,0,5,11,10,39,8,57,35,15,60,1,3,2,1,10,25,0,4,29,220,62,9,0.14618048963732255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584502423747053,0.12163387765312185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620188667398671,0.0,0.04455513484233047,0.0,0.06219441498977937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766337310922659,0.0,0.0,0.05835661308035101,0.0,0.0802862018798073,0.0,0.0,0.06295252076212808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5755168142009506,0.06473626257531377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13222862186793086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144888530531117,0.06890297794982654,0.08224684571862086,0.2586963672751408,0.05221568550257307,0.07017809710690798,0.0,0.0,0.18651157471375324,0.0,0.0,0.056469341838706236,0.0,0.03818663622914464,0.14022964577066313,0.1246166114873941,0.0,0.05845694570241655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561184943408954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722385658381761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0401684870773004,0.17873491425670418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487740435227332,0.07141640337505507,0.0,0.0,0.06468256664864333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596679958252298,0.06915975689560369,0.0,0.0741020362785743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768336317056276,0.26864869906535643,0.0,0.11274340534963548,0.07059101390000655,0.0777323045553951,0.06859024349334245,0.0716129213939215,0.0,0.0,0.07669591683461821,0.0,0.04952784147952848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977290901300041,0.05067157283718072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347588370383372,0.08187780168523935,0.0,0.0,0.0831927000946279,0.09364696482703264,0.07514894483666834,0.07216779908559219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056268441327686165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099095358208658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04855791092732498,0.14049983287518972,0.0,0.11605098025289087,0.08523901905988049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049623478462195315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622104019398236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064211374571997,0.0,0.0,0.051921212857605765,0.0,0.0,0.09413544261082173
mentalhealth,rebeljoy3214,2019/01/21,"Nerves and anxiety are making feel like I'm gonna break at the worst moment In two days (this Thursday) I'll have my badminton final of the tournament and it will be against my rival, the only one I've lost to in the whole tournament. We push each other to be better and the reason we made it this far was because we wanted the final match to be between us. We did it, it's this Thursday. The thing is he has defeated me before and I took quite a beating (11-6 he won). For the last week I've been getting increasingly more and more anxious and last time we played one if the reasons I lost was because I was so so nervous. Now the day keeps getting closer and I can barely sleep and I'm quite afraid that when the day comes I'll succumb to the nerves and the pressure again and lose. This match really means a lot to me since this is kind of how I can prove myself that I'm not a loser/failure and that I can do it. My mind keeps bouncing back and forth between ""you can't do it, you already lost once you'll lose again"" to ""you've got this, as long as you believe in yourself. And even if you lose you got really far and it was really fun, it's ok to lose"" but I can't even keep my mind on the second mindset. I feel like I'm going crazy, my anxiety has never been more on edge, can someone help? I feel like when I lose it will make me crack ",3.321516596368973,3.7111316376306647,4.5268366037043855,89.51152026407485,72.34494773519164,7.2964606638547576,25.209792774619473,7.0608816371341465,0.8562445993031358,1048,29,238,9,19,346,140,287,0.129,0.8029999999999999,0.068,-0.8588,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,6,6,0,14,12,22,0,3,17,1,27,1,1,6,2,44,54,24,0,3,4,0,3,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,20,21,0,3,7,1,0,5,4,13,0,4,15,3,31,9,21,32,8,35,0,9,0,0,15,9,0,3,23,156,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984760274678847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384348375282892,0.10221733467932828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957400382453828,0.0,0.11031227972486952,0.0,0.07699233464286273,0.1019406628591118,0.0,0.08002274645085276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794103355580125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17505752394716734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195231787277307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372491447072885,0.1939180969455812,0.0,0.1982341705380729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454476823755713,0.0,0.05142221561895205,0.0,0.14473121827610186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060647245432482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24126996970263145,0.0,0.09422163147114923,0.0,0.14750754638313826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261276664179975,0.0,0.0,0.08007249232571781,0.0,0.5061232910530984,0.2963108214782306,0.07692337874967771,0.0,0.08561494062771376,0.12079301913633485,0.0,0.0,0.09855990926290653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271924534902428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978422415325823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635889636280004,0.12262400557854465,0.06881458088923993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247453178858512,0.0,0.0,0.17389258638664307,0.1860582725916343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484649534462268,0.0,0.09054595371418253,0.0,0.07666392697809367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060111296621879966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275997114183124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052728659003334,0.0,0.0,0.08838640833005562,0.0,0.10883703288541016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05336780787279462,0.0,0.07257808739505889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101836948114233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,A_Gif_Horse,2019/01/21,"My sister needs some help. Is an in-patient treatment center something good? My sister has a severe reaction to stress and requires ativan when she has a hysterical episode. She is not addicted to anything but cigarettes and only has episodes of hysteria rarely (once in 2018, and today). Her current episode was triggered when her psychiatrist said she would need to be an in-patient for at least three days. Mostly, she handles life just okay. I personally dont think my sister is a danger to herself, but she did agree with her therapist* to do this treatment. *(I do not know which one she saw or if she even has a psychiatrist, she does have two different people she sees). Are in-patient treatment centers generally good? Would they prescribe their own views of what she has and exacerbate her fears that she is incurably ill? What should I be aware of concerning her legal options if she is certain it is no help? (How can I bust her outta there- I trust her sanity enough to take her word as truth). Please, those of you with experience or anything at all, I would love to hear from you. Thank you",4.368102981029814,6.698213487804883,4.680934959349597,81.78747289972901,72.65853658536584,7.6775067750677515,28.949864498644985,8.515128840125781,2.2968319783197835,875,36,158,16,18,275,126,205,0.1,0.735,0.165,0.9452,2,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,2,1,6,11,1,2,6,1,25,4,0,2,3,34,36,14,0,8,9,3,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,7,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,4,5,35,8,19,26,6,10,0,0,3,1,35,5,0,7,5,120,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726399215948875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606398342306677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021315523862388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654564690278147,0.0,0.0,0.13858523196243702,0.0,0.18560119870485547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363214271201448,0.0,0.10459779889225268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491018781741542,0.0,0.17820330711321378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26565609033458115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17848751649341224,0.0,0.21229583913815586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703260503628894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118570380482362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429295159293713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348495078998884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686522826872768,0.10731141199051178,0.12044280899027646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097895217417356,0.13827716516357064,0.0,0.17383590089269374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506402424275964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619544825445694,0.0,0.0,0.1789060219097046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191619317540985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814052022788976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906987189249832,0.0,0.0,0.14580011375644167,0.0,0.18387258218345826,0.0,0.1014731310704604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011036907624206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469842522136226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374913077715637,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pineapplehed,2019/01/21,"Always imagine that someone is watching. Ever since I was little I've always imagined my crush or someone I admire/think is cool, is watching me. While I was cooking today, at the age of 27, I realized just how much I do it. I imagine someone I like is watching me, so I try to act cuter or cooler. It's not that I think this real, I know that it's not. It's something I've always done. It is really fucked up.. I am trying to impress people when I'm alone, every time i'm alone. Has anyone dealt with this? How do I make it go away? ",-0.1059109311740869,1.9720404736842096,2.631754385964914,91.8131781376518,87.24561403508774,4.20944669365722,20.172739541160592,5.369823440869387,-0.08580215924426415,410,13,87,2,13,143,67,114,0.096,0.799,0.106,0.2656,0,2,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,1,1,12,2,0,3,1,17,19,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,1,1,0,6,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,4,15,3,7,16,1,12,0,0,3,1,0,4,1,2,7,58,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615324627848311,0.0,0.0,0.4356827714740553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203934088156065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398192974526776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861050339662976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578774311761719,0.1470537600630726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613553381447123,0.0,0.0,0.09919259650737966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592019434841413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852692718824252,0.17493051074309932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165038598967202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283037390788852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100100024003325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19865970919167467,0.11181196654309952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437764151831636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4436503105054794,0.1343660222364723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22367071396661686,0.0,0.0,0.10177310460508146,0.0,0.16543932896759428,0.0,0.0,0.2369964140883952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imgoodmansure,2019/01/21,"I went to psychotherapyst recently. Am I psychopath? First of all apologies for my English,  it's not my native language
I'm 21yo male, recently went to psychotherapyst to get diagnosed.  Diagnosis says ""psychopath tendencies,  but since he is 21 yo it's most likely it's schizoid personality accentuation, with epeliptoid features.  Improvement expected to 25 yo age"" 


So what is happening with me? Few things I have noticed about myself:


1.I don't feel anything when close people to me die(even my father),  I kinda feel guilt for not feeling anything,  but not really. 

2.I understand nothing about laws and stuff. I mean personally I see nothing wrong with  beating people,  raping girls,  selling drugs and so on. Like I can imagine me doing same if I wouldn't get punished for that. 

3.i have done terrible things in my life,  and I have no guilt.  It's like somebody else have done that,  but not me. 

4.i don't care if people around me feel bad and stuff,  I don't understand these feelings(or if they get sick/laws problems etc etc etc I'm usually happy,  since it's something interesting in my life) . However I really like when people around me happy and I have great empathy on this one

5.I very fast in falling in love with someone
",4.5046095238095285,7.126132235555558,5.056126984126988,77.89600000000002,73.3111111111111,8.196825396825398,30.714285714285715,8.976282227363876,2.975361904761905,983,45,167,22,21,314,127,225,0.129,0.6829999999999999,0.188,0.9622,1,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,1,2,8,18,2,2,0,0,16,6,0,0,1,38,34,15,0,6,10,1,4,4,0,1,4,1,0,4,14,12,0,0,8,0,1,3,9,8,0,2,4,6,25,10,23,29,7,20,0,0,1,2,10,9,0,5,12,107,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884045031347514,0.18264806762712485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565572310001915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459411647224623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412347921957536,0.10646893951348076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099639014663266,0.0,0.0,0.11896816072710352,0.0,0.08569813791778913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432343196170048,0.06775763773367334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074839469147047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726031039189211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079216326184126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113102348978815,0.0,0.0,0.09071720037720776,0.21841118927522116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492023240071214,0.20047498505583145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925886248502018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174713888947674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686967206693004,0.11679579285653742,0.0,0.0,0.06951549511889993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844831810961089,0.17914973667168635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981617475060671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143950820114275,0.0,0.2025842489885144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158116961179984,0.0,0.0,0.08174842642025566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972178187290415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692149333235998,0.07897635837975378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348747673296045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363082710336834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21359302862712176,0.0,0.0,0.11298490662031654,0.08464488355650251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19019804970205426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216260093911394,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,awesome0733,2019/01/21,"Something That I Find Helps I've been trying something since the new year that's been helping me a lot. Before doing something relatively small, like putting dishes away or taking a shower, I say to myself something to the effect of ""I want to do this"". Throughout the day, for all the little things, I remind myself that I do have the ability to control things in my life. Over time it builds up my confidence in myself. Soon bigger stuff feels like it's in reach, like making phone calls or exercise. When I feel down or scared I can think about how I want to feel better. It doesn't fix things of course, but it helps me make the thousand small choices a day that can get me there. ",5.925597014925373,6.127713164179107,5.648470149253732,84.39942164179106,66.61194029850746,7.894029850746268,27.19776119402985,7.1686216300943375,1.2715701492537317,540,14,106,4,8,167,83,134,0.015,0.8220000000000001,0.163,0.9042,1,0,4,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,5,5,0,1,9,0,9,3,0,5,1,18,19,6,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,13,0,1,1,6,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,4,16,4,16,17,2,19,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,4,10,74,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431376866624988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963848996581134,0.0,0.0,0.1347410500139604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556621703935136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17087329646788116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19650608221311125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23109796516089176,0.10883875380443213,0.0,0.0,0.13924499072579796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959650168642284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30635065250025195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760919520588566,0.22329130422368784,0.15269456014667504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952238311039238,0.0,0.0,0.20338939807298664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714042167060035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315366522595147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115470504638105,0.15252876421565595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602535928697794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.469145389832822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744041136825018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454811705361165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036433858030784,0.09761962376301073,0.0,0.0,0.08883641496512061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343553863714512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17971976190894706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810829987174632
mentalhealth,Streamerino600,2019/01/21,"How to feel love  married to a great guy. I love him so much but have kind of realized I don’t really understand how to receive love. I know I love him and can feel my love and happiness and warmth to him, however, I can’t feel it back. My mind or emotions really seem to not be able to tell the difference between him saying he loves me vs love he feels for say the cat. Does anyone else feel like this?
My husband said he feels warm and comfort. I just feel numb. ",1.4878579610538374,3.3367288969072177,3.0896219931271496,92.1079266895762,79.61855670103094,7.197709049255441,22.117983963344788,8.167268648758528,1.0299310423825891,361,11,82,7,9,119,63,97,0.024,0.5660000000000001,0.411,0.995,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,14,0,0,3,0,5,8,0,2,0,23,23,9,0,0,5,1,8,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,4,0,0,11,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,11,14,13,9,21,1,2,0,0,0,7,21,0,0,2,2,46,16,0,0.1161148670122198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119021482007657,0.1189734030741635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928516538939871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131532223811906,0.0,0.0,0.10161290260667408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699907185440516,0.13061359675491754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4109781593593453,0.08295248419437727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801705080246292,0.0,0.11497197389548372,0.0,0.12360643508168664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091576575608068,0.06381369424380365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672785883368895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7335874063392821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724291505457295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535778760181492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487723141982504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045182856561532,0.1846784055152441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105706613958508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148951173861358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087967157044563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tethadamtherock,2019/01/21,"How long do I have to take Schizophrenia medication before they take me off? For those of you who have been on schizophrenia medication or know about schizophrenia, how long do I have to take the medications for? Its been longer than a year. Please reply.",5.310217391304349,7.830072847826087,4.286304347826088,84.81467391304348,70.52173913043478,7.208695652173913,24.54347826086957,8.07648339933343,1.3001913043478268,205,6,38,3,4,60,32,46,0.0,0.94,0.06,0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,2,0,4,11,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,9,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902735210079524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288883931163885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3957712185601048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6757831229805203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24545389722034586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5043750562592113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439959047781584
mentalhealth,ClimbToSilence,2019/01/21,"Maybe someone here can help? Hey all,

Thought you all might be able to offer some insight into my mental state! I understand not many of you are qualified to diagnose anything lol but Im just here looking to if anyone has similar experience

​

Anyways, I've had real trouble I guess just focusing and finding motivation to do things. In my mind I know what tasks and hobbies im into and I know how to go about them! But I can never for some reason come to do anything. I always just find it easier to sit here and scroll through reddit. Its like Im seemingly uninterested in my hobbies and its infuriating.  I've tried putting my phone down and just going to do something else but I windup pacing around my room instead. In the rare event I do go indulge in my hobbies i find myself quickly wanting to go back home. 

​

Whats going on with me??? I have like an inability to focus on my everydays interests and little to no energy to go do anything. ",2.563556149732623,5.151603042780749,4.399815508021391,80.17148796791446,80.06951871657753,6.948556149732621,28.066577540106948,8.07648339933343,2.2723306951871654,767,35,137,15,20,259,113,187,0.07200000000000001,0.809,0.119,0.8056,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,1,14,4,0,0,2,1,13,1,0,3,3,43,28,12,0,2,9,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,6,12,0,0,11,0,0,8,3,1,0,0,2,1,22,3,27,24,4,27,0,0,1,0,7,12,0,6,7,100,28,2,0.1117739188807274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300485453071834,0.2422139888172362,0.27163509141033665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815492295446573,0.0,0.27594123445119795,0.09950248525077972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859472442270181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628333397659136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344817484142967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337276670884133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933634039882023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064780107051296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3811421635853329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313157315016016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491970173266123,0.0,0.11211835412565976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622050386758947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285604535267328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921418169280284,0.11202683078058126,0.0,0.0,0.09386194087899777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332121013478072,0.11229192495149602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264182072548448,0.11857446444651801,0.11285979490697545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620693688434372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236366063867967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272231901112948,0.0,0.1149222045292894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017547778142072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470567874756383,0.08604902353398575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742576250835415,0.0,0.0,0.08873600632340248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588715388728308,0.0,0.0,0.11636059147380375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592715331823291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27163509141033665,0.0
mentalhealth,akamaru13,2019/01/21,"What’s wrong with me? I keep telling myself things will get better in these next few weeks but everything seems so hopeless. What if things don’t ever change?
My boyfriend broke up with me the day after Christmas and ever since then it seems like my life is falling apart day by day. I had to move back into my parents house after the breakup and I consider them to be toxic to my mental health. I absolutely hate living in this house, I can’t stand to be in my old room. This doesn’t feel like my house anymore, I don’t belong here. My parents make me feel useless because I haven’t lived up to their expectations of me. This is not what I thought my life would be. Two years ago I was in college, I was social and happy. When I met my boyfriend, I put everything second to the relationship and I put him first. I loved him with all my heart but he also struggles with mental illness and hearing him blame me for his mental illness becoming worse absolutely destroyed me. I never wanted to hurt him, all I wanted was to love him and travel together and fulfill all our big plans in life. Being in his presence brought me comfort that nothing else ever could. I lost him and I feel like there’s no hope of ever regaining that. 
I feel broken inside. My life has no meaning. It feels like my life is at a stop. I think I wouldn’t make a huge impact if I was to fade away. But on the other hand I think of my niece, and how she will grow up and not remember me or what I look like. I think of the possibilities for my future that won’t ever come true if I ended it all now.
 I need help. I am losing my mind and being consumed by dark thoughts that I never thought I would have. I keep telling myself I’m just being dramatic, but I’m afraid. I feel alone and I have nobody to talk to about this because everyone thinks I’m so happy. This has never happened to me before and I don’t know if I can get past these emotions.",2.374449932644815,4.141507409669213,3.6304093698548137,89.62187808711273,76.68447837150127,6.0484657985331545,23.26365813500973,6.794906146795322,0.6357523424637033,1504,46,316,14,34,490,189,393,0.149,0.6940000000000001,0.156,0.7224,2,1,0,0,0,1,33.0,1,0,2,5,16,24,2,2,7,0,33,12,2,3,13,78,73,28,0,13,12,2,7,5,0,6,8,1,1,0,21,19,0,3,18,1,0,8,15,11,0,3,11,9,73,13,40,49,5,54,0,6,1,2,25,17,0,8,33,227,94,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542792512733951,0.0,0.0,0.07644468224514034,0.0,0.05902566214386457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319947808478595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934672707818522,0.0567551722608786,0.0,0.08998752542781008,0.08151711376574577,0.06280669467353144,0.0,0.0,0.06527876088690661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808097065723238,0.06358059824767855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893111110573721,0.0,0.0,0.14280362464464358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061658608215959775,0.08302607886884716,0.06537356575411878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338259022986926,0.0,0.07052841709248285,0.1326709593712344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22392268440279334,0.15818918549526576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278256939979407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771251374467381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526975325733278,0.15714378721299194,0.0,0.07287188642537899,0.0,0.07845635493313807,0.08318899730642633,0.08746495615628426,0.04947314618185468,0.0,0.0,0.07330977533116506,0.0,0.2554997622111853,0.0790149064275204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121106485293546,0.0,0.0,0.04056393011778128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606701863444605,0.18029867481653894,0.0,0.13035079309870054,0.0,0.06198163386433855,0.08257427484381814,0.08057210448015124,0.0,0.13323243383350164,0.0,0.09853721551348113,0.0,0.0,0.08040049904760455,0.0,0.0,0.2231487232621773,0.0,0.07452684677537626,0.0,0.0,0.07844812548953763,0.0,0.054729023810526405,0.1707799801014062,0.0,0.07849754868315667,0.0,0.0,0.07082248386320875,0.0,0.07745095813072643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639140732896249,0.0,0.07045979600553763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320944774446244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839845006703414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924409157835423,0.08361210335382485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438732085367575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610562207562488,0.0,0.0,0.0752397854972431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170828915975371,0.0,0.07716201800160072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932551308317152,0.12902601896465535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807188912696467,0.18917733168429712,0.0,0.17579018512767908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210143953974107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706985260312586,0.0,0.05920576114693664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521848143513835,0.10486471377093816,0.08069941816498087,0.0,0.047531084607735384
mentalhealth,JonathanTheOddHuman,2019/01/21,"Is having a speech impediment spread to your inner monologue normal? Sometimes when I don't really know what to say or don't want to say it and I'm anxious/stressed I have a thing where my voice just kinda g- g- g- g- g- g- kinda g- goes like that at the beginning of some clauses, should I be concerned if it begins to spread to my inner monologue? Also is it normal to have sort of hyperbolic angry reactions to minor things in your own head that feel entirely serious, e.g kinda like FUCK YOU ARE YOU F- FUCKINNNG SERIOUS when I try to post and it says ""you are doing that too much, accompanied by tensing the jaw and mouthing the words? I'm in general not a very angry person at all so this seems weird.",1.6484859154929588,4.1363775633802815,3.4937852112676078,85.8212411971831,83.22535211267606,6.366901408450705,22.255281690140848,7.6454224807358475,1.1969281690140847,562,19,109,10,16,188,89,142,0.141,0.828,0.031,-0.9327,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,5,0,0,7,6,1,0,6,0,12,4,3,0,1,22,21,9,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,0,1,11,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,6,11,2,15,19,4,12,0,0,0,1,9,7,1,8,6,72,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367375300646805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312177523476534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348681349862024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18921322447369748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100494764940696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124807488459404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999819041242768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045528993515592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.401064397069899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870910654009542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19601635937824116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111622440027926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4882830933278702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18632300224769133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20242290857047274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344476876036496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719460244041165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389568396496165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887338820145406,0.12071909938544352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Deknef,2019/01/21,"Are these suicidal thoughts I was speaking to a close relative the other day about mental health and suicidal thoughts. I explained that I don't think I've ever had suicidal thoughts more than the usual, as in I've thought about killing myself in terms of jumping in front of a train as one pulls up at the station, jumping off a motorway bridge as I walk over one or steering my car into oncoming traffic. I never thought of these as suicidal thoughts because they are just ""I could do that"" things that pop into my head and I thought everyone gets them. As for my other mental health issues, I suffer from anxiety and it has gotten worse recently but not too bad. Are these suicidal thoughts and should I see someone or does everyone get these?


P.s this is not about me (the reddit account owner), I have typed this for a friend who doesn't use reddit but wanted some third-party advice",8.947943786982249,7.5357393195266305,8.149341715976334,74.26176405325445,61.1301775147929,11.290236686390536,39.46819526627219,10.125756701596842,3.9334905325443783,711,31,128,12,8,222,103,169,0.147,0.8059999999999999,0.046,-0.9385,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,2,0,6,4,1,0,8,0,13,3,1,1,2,31,29,13,6,3,7,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,14,7,0,0,10,0,1,6,5,3,0,2,11,2,17,1,25,16,3,22,0,1,1,0,7,10,0,3,6,95,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968791083153478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584233571189965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277831236230282,0.06043522787628418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915575212777627,0.0,0.0,0.06393752582874651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675866214753677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967840544793003,0.0,0.189466303844846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659583018035583,0.0,0.10359380890682607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017469221547246,0.2107637771428924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347709445105993,0.0,0.0,0.10968445452010844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19982094001788955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646339100942452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436055784044046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788944413481944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900227249778644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400156189986457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5422189698257318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586465112212192,0.06352533362271234,0.0,0.6296528973972481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562570130484626,0.10918943362980132,0.0,0.05847573158843827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010328052567111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Razza7,2019/01/21,"I Feel Good I've never given any thought to mental health at all until recently. The last couple of years I've found myself being emotional and crying for various reasons be that really missing family that have passed away or even just feeling lonely, even though I still have plenty of family and friends to spend time with & I've never really spoken about how I am with anyone so I am really nervous writing this because I feel a little silly writing about that I'm happy or it may come across as I'm fishing for attention or something. I feel like I need to express myself though so here it is....

​

This past weekend a really random event caused me to think and come to a realisation. The weather here in Northern Ireland has now started to get quite cold and I thought I could do with a new coat so I did some online window shopping, picked one out and went to the shop to pick it up & also picked up a nice steak to make for dinner that Saturday night. Yesterday, in what I am certain is a sign of getting old I started looking forward to trying this coat out in the terrible weather we have come Monday morning & it put a smile on my face.

​

Smiling got me thinking on why I was feeling happy about it and realised it wasn't just that, even though I hadn't done anything particularly spectacular or awesome in terms of activities I thought I'd had a pretty damn good weekend. On Saturday I bought myself a nice new coat, I got to spend a good bit of time playing & having fun with my 3 year old nephew, an activity which is probably my favourite thing in the world these last couple of years & was then able to have a lovely meal. On top of that I was able to watch some TV shows that I really love, got some gaming in & got a chance to relax some as well.

​

I got to do some of the things I most enjoy and managed to realise that whilst I have days here and there that I may feel lonely or sad about missing people or one of the many other emotions that take hold, I overall am pretty happy and allowed myself to feel good about it. On days where I maybe do feel a little down I hope I can remember the little things that do make me happy and can embrace those.

​

If you have taken the time to read this then thank you & hopefully if reading this has reminded you of something small that even brings back a happy memory from some small thing then I'd be very glad indeed.",8.970094050094051,6.561314097713102,8.724561924561925,73.30766458766459,61.86902286902286,11.240906840906842,36.626175626175616,9.362217197678863,3.2450712008712017,1935,66,367,25,21,627,226,481,0.05,0.748,0.201,0.9972,1,4,2,0,0,0,53.0,1,3,0,2,28,34,1,1,24,0,36,6,1,9,4,77,81,32,0,6,10,1,8,1,1,2,1,0,1,0,33,20,2,1,17,11,5,8,4,8,1,2,21,11,41,26,63,54,11,72,0,5,2,2,12,28,1,20,39,254,74,3,0.09845647198839896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03936780253888953,0.0,0.5867265044561292,0.2392707801275756,0.03347688858419818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034421527220643136,0.0,0.04051064370568035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046251548210984914,0.037853474801877784,0.0,0.030009075742097067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05374448370432697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05057095890774568,0.0,0.12721729902927914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039304740703348016,0.10894021358313703,0.054074905659749394,0.06349627933181254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05037757710053968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107502791081114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005914236647034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281599938904984,0.0,0.19913020209326154,0.03516866163052276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397621983780306,0.038033613013199234,0.0,0.05143944297291552,0.0,0.0,0.16516123493638982,0.1968615870475186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620218630557703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232731284573758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778949204749077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025516548081163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0240504294925178,0.14801887556345508,0.0,0.0,0.041339319787074384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886080996684177,0.0,0.06572045957929079,0.04990970462095111,0.04945637978081428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049610483277477545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036502113220985566,0.07593570084642118,0.09508987416750556,0.0,0.046197364668393685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033135051905614,0.0,0.06671665349286178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469939215474734,0.03412866042540763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016562775281074,0.0530763645887405,0.0,0.0,0.04948797410418816,0.0,0.052360288603174834,0.09848311570799026,0.0,0.1576843426945474,0.05061482555316397,0.04860694410563033,0.0,0.05576599491034676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579660228468331,0.0,0.0,0.06968799762606903,0.0,0.03931373285567251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037013506938076805,0.0,0.0,0.04532274568136524,0.0,0.0,0.13082021024536802,0.06308693175206971,0.14509947575668447,0.11724516159622027,0.08611614087361437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03342274081378251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040618450293159455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04426209623225635,0.045635067963214634,0.04442082602247282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392707801275756,0.0951041099074437
mentalhealth,jslick07,2019/01/21,"Psychology of Addiction | How does Addiction work? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMFYKhyZzfQ&feature=youtu.be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMFYKhyZzfQ&feature=youtu.be)  


There seems to be a debate about whether addiction is a choice or a disease.  I made this video to try and clear some of that up.",17.156666666666666,23.693523555555558,7.400000000000002,52.69500000000002,63.444444444444436,7.955555555555558,25.44444444444445,8.344100000000001,2.7034777777777768,272,7,29,5,6,63,30,36,0.0,0.905,0.095,0.4836,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,2,1,8,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,20,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7528202749550266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4988195783401093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014400289860449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21781048822277985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095555075544109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628328606589464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675804033100187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dreamplanshine,2019/01/21,"Mental Health Experts Explain 9 Ways Your Home Can Give You Anxiety »  

Our home brings with it an undeniable feeling of familiarity and comfort. We can be out all night having the time of our lives when, all of a sudden, have a yearning to “just go home.” But is our home actually a covert catalyst of anxiety?

Let us begin by exploring the *Biophilia Hypothesis* for a moment. It was proposed by naturalist, biologist, and author Edward O. Wilson in 1984 in the book *Biophilia*.  The Biophilia hypothesis, or “BET,” is the notion that human beings possess an inherent, intimate connection with nature. Modern society’s current ways of living – heavy industry (and pollution), obsession with money, addiction to technology – has effectively separated us from our former abode, causing a conflict in the subconscious.

Wilson’s theory makes sense when viewed from an evolutionary perspective. Not long ago, man lived out amongst the elements, save for rudimentary shelters like caves and tree branches. When not resting, you would find the men, women, and children outdoors, hunting and gathering for food, water, and other necessities of daily life.

#### What does the Biophilia Hypothesis have to do with home-induced anxiety?

Well, if Mr. Wilson is indeed correct, **our home is separating us from our original habitat** – and no species is okay with exile!  Another idea is that *nature signifies life and vitality*. Indeed, plants and trees – two of the most commonly-found things in nature – *permit* life; a fact that may help explain why we find flowers and plants adorning most homes and workspaces. The hypothesis may help explain why many people feature nature at the centerpiece (if you will) of their homes – a concept known as *biophilic design*.

In other words, as *Mammalia*, we human beings – despite our advanced intelligence and, for some, vehement insistence to the contrary – inherently desire to return to our original home out in the elements. As a side note, Wilson’s hypothesis gathers steam when you consider that**humans are the only species who do not actively reside in the natural world.**

At the very least, the Biophilia Hypothesis makes us think about our relationship with nature. Whether it explains away the deep-rooted anxiety that some (all?) experience in the home is up to the psychoanalytical among us.

The Biophilia Hypothesis aside, we *do* know that **one’s environment can influence their state of mind**. Given that the home is indeed an environment, it is reasonable to assume that it can spur anxious feelings, but why? Here are 9 possible ways that your home can give you anxiety:

1. **Your place is cluttered and disorganized**

Okay, so check these numbers out. Per a survey of more than a thousand Americans over 18 years old, 47 percent constantly worry about the orderliness of their home. Also, scientists know that **too much clutter raises cortisol levels**. Per Psychology Today, the stress hormone cortisol “is public enemy number one,” with high levels of the hormones causing disturbances in learning and memory, immune system, metabolism, and more.

*What to do: Start small by organizing your bedroom closet or kitchen drawers. Eventually, begin thinking bigger and take on more time-consuming projects. The enemy of anxiety is action. Take it.*

***Read more on the next page…***",5.091621046304876,8.682439976234004,5.884431143722924,66.22031128697003,80.68190127970749,9.212982394630739,32.1732238110741,9.293530613975678,4.457525726878867,2645,135,356,85,73,860,298,547,0.07400000000000001,0.87,0.056,-0.9352,4,0,0,0,0,0,131.0,18,9,3,2,12,11,0,3,42,2,36,9,0,10,5,89,58,33,0,5,11,0,2,1,0,4,6,0,15,7,22,32,3,1,19,2,3,5,4,4,1,4,2,3,30,7,66,48,15,63,0,1,1,0,50,29,0,12,25,252,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.054971933299372035,0.061410225399527174,0.0,0.0,0.049934943909315695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045048702409981926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906904299943053,0.2585630832259115,0.06363915732416008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292579460840702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157370201789638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060874909908668125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929653728544699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05510353261671249,0.0,0.0,0.05696633185251656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297290603528984,0.0,0.06811691181684458,0.061765161067523014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807762850464374,0.03201478966358895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987831152051265,0.0,0.0,0.07551634183111207,0.05951788038608734,0.7345730220389469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359200281245986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191721871755999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05760331520405074,0.1193669318592142,0.02752098342218642,0.0,0.14922663822634136,0.04985207208190378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752041321816239,0.057111834693294714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676943475254264,0.0,0.0568792897867936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041410522199173516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059909750811802887,0.052863792207249384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591109872803305,0.0,0.07634408006443402,0.04284304568442361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03905353532589842,0.0,0.05885497956058435,0.0,0.0,0.06350589748579154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056347272210005024,0.0,0.0,0.057918706832193675,0.0,0.06047951635954162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987209933172034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452814770580746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470934884191568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03742449629194548,0.0721905778624644,0.0,0.0,0.065695317031039,0.0,0.05339617577798544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05502820595625832,0.0,0.3388024683004245,0.0,0.0,0.046479822636877055,0.0,0.13414122527138236,0.0,0.0,0.050649258343520014,0.0,0.1524926800510521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05720790881835356,0.0,0.040016656420227587,0.0,0.0,0.036275979090225466
mentalhealth,Br1ght3stDay,2019/01/21,"This ""outrage culture"" isn't just irritating, its harmful Hi everyone, I'm not much of a psychologist but I've got a theory I've been thinking about. This whole idea of people being offended about things on twitter, like with old celebrity tweets or older movies/TV shows. People today are more progressive and socially conscious, they're more aware that what they say could offend others and so they don't say them. It is for this reason I would argue that it is harmful to mental health, people don't talk about it as much as they should because they're worried about offending the person/people suffering. But talking about it helps. Just a thought I had, love to know what you think of it",8.072483516483517,7.844164446153848,7.446703296703298,74.75115384615388,62.23076923076921,10.197802197802199,33.956043956043956,9.606745405546679,3.1252197802197816,558,20,97,9,7,174,87,130,0.157,0.742,0.101,-0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,4,1,8,10,5,0,4,0,12,2,0,1,0,19,19,8,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,15,3,0,0,7,1,0,0,4,8,0,0,4,2,7,2,15,11,5,4,0,1,0,1,15,1,0,1,4,67,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105945769480982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876372047757315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607162789764868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900229717330967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18473935925113333,0.0,0.0,0.11649326983852933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19619701282067006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955149454120444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490902155171946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685966088308578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514770765773846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555233487073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237197471958128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4819591541171903,0.15175388438417656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17869349547654192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764226085106293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716537780526534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793848193322246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546380132816457,0.22272573757715305,0.0,0.13797635721925325,0.0,0.0,0.16474037175057368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19403948342082786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650050829471706,0.0,0.12346125464665245,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sneezy_vegana,2019/01/21,"am i going insane? sometimes (like once a month) i have this “attact”. it usually happens at night, i cannot sleep. and then suddenly so many ideas, crazy and normal once, start going through my head. and then more and more, just so many ideas, memories, good and bad... plus i start seeing weird images, like crazy faces of people i know and dont know, but also other obscure images. big eyes.... but they always just appear and immediately disappeared and then another appears... and i feel like my mind is going to explode. so much is happening. i have to move in some way to try concentrate on something else.... and then it slowly disappears. peace.
it doesn’t happen that often, but when it does i feel like im not sane... what is this? is this happening to any of u? ",1.1120123939986968,3.7448060068493163,2.558414872798433,89.10299086757992,91.67123287671234,5.520678408349641,18.596216568819308,7.07126945348624,0.5920956294846706,591,17,113,10,21,191,90,146,0.08199999999999999,0.8140000000000001,0.103,0.7332,0,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,1,0,8,7,0,0,1,0,10,4,4,0,0,30,26,23,0,1,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,11,0,0,6,0,0,8,4,2,0,0,0,4,11,5,11,26,4,24,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,5,15,73,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343898917093823,0.10762731549275234,0.0,0.0,0.08796059958685362,0.1356319221705687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799959275659306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319269398765686,0.0,0.15159407240762365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805307176395204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080376278040942,0.18481147409548293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22053315439701066,0.10849037849628168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4575255612665301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274764661608687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920347152471488,0.13971728023350807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217178683932866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527702290088896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622757209123572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060390034681935,0.0,0.10324378090743144,0.1374757098567535,0.09508514847642036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138367893253135,0.1267328910815735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755013063688495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967313155655622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307305154111704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944071318930678,0.0,0.0,0.09957787096668903,0.12792778721670486,0.0,0.1831053695381256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781832619904835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245777702894852,0.0,0.0,0.10266986621090314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Draav,2019/01/21,"People always say to get professional help. But it's so hard to do My fiance has been to so many doctors and therapists. It just doesn't help.

Scheduling time for doctors is next to impossible, even with night hours, we have work and she is a teacher so taking days and time off is a difficult thing to do and she is just adding to her anxiety about not be a good teacher and worry about getting fired because she has to take off.

Actually calling and scheduling, even assuming that there is time, is a very stressful scenario as well. No one answers, people say they will call back and never do, appointments get cancelled (after she calls off work, so she doesn't get another chance to go for weeks), have to leave tons of voicemails that never get responded to because the specialist is out or the doctors leave at 2 pm. 

When there actually is a appointment met, nothing helps because they are blocked by another specialist. Sorry can't help need to talk to your psychiatrist, sorry looks like you need to get an MRI for us to help with the leg pain, sorry you need to find a therapist to sign off on this.

And each one is it's own hell of a fetch quest. The problems she's having make it hard to even go to the grocery store without having a panic attack, she's in so much physical pain she just cries every night, then lapsing into a panic attack because she can't tell if it's physical or mental pain.  

And people experiencing these issues are expecting to schedule dozens of appointments with people that have unclear schedules while she maintains her job every day? Also have to throw in insurance and money into the mix. Finally finding a doctor that understood but then getting denied coverage is another thing to add to the pile.

I have no way to help. I don't know what to do besides offer comfort. I'm not trained in this. I can't just keep saying go to a doctor, see a therapist, when we've been going through this nightmare of finding help for years. And more health issues just keep coming up. 

She just keeps saying it's not fair, and it's not. She builds up energy for days trying so hard to fight through the pain and mental pressure, just to make it to a doctors appointment which is cancelled the day of. She spends weeks trying to schedule an appointment with her psychiatrist, which keeps going to voicemail, and not getting calls returned. When she asked her general practitioner for help, they call the psychiatrist in the office, her answers and says he'd be happy to schedule time. So she looks like a crazy person looking for drugs. We leave the office at 2pm (appointment scheduled for 11:30, we sat waiting for the doctor for 50 minutes after the nurse checked blood pressure), and call the psychiatrist who has left the office for the day. At 2pm. Been over a week and still can't contact them. Has to go through withdrawal now because she's been cut off cold turkey from an antidepressant (That apparently she was never supposed to be on, it was just supposed to be an attempt at lessening the physical pain of what they guess is Fibromyalgia, they have no idea why she hurts)

If she didn't have me next to her, she'd probably think she's going insane, with someone actively making sure nothing ever works out. But I can't help, I can only just watch and give hugs (when she's able to be touched since her skin hurts quite often).

Hopefully I'm allowed to vent here, I just don't want to keep this all in my brain and start lashing out. ",7.684188752424045,7.158823775263954,7.495451842275371,75.06320361990952,63.13273001508296,10.473070458952812,35.23244990303814,9.819183407551806,3.3151868907563022,2765,108,505,48,35,882,279,663,0.129,0.784,0.08800000000000001,-0.9385,3,0,1,0,1,0,67.0,4,3,6,5,36,28,5,5,37,0,56,20,4,4,6,97,103,42,0,9,23,0,6,2,0,1,15,5,0,1,26,35,0,7,10,0,4,9,22,19,1,3,10,18,52,9,95,85,6,79,1,2,5,1,74,25,1,9,46,347,78,12,0.04759682296107149,0.0,0.09289526657150053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038063162125710384,0.039604369605601146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972825675438473,0.03641143928698627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04449660436979402,0.1082965148373632,0.0,0.03659901888051911,0.0,0.14507290749665286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313379563900181,0.29161006732252565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04100044847023542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05228287504811269,0.15348006611485784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410215560551427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05519720364365839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431175800837792,0.04305405133782971,0.08020475235768829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05213999303952754,0.130507901691802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19893900408590556,0.045659209653761496,0.18935259950594752,0.0399219568837768,0.0,0.0,0.05243326660488883,0.0,0.0,0.05066770310138724,0.12791221321296706,0.0,0.0,0.05059319707983525,0.0,0.0,0.2871283241955429,0.0,0.0,0.047274384775700264,0.046873282966789664,0.0,0.1019067668014687,0.05373101961784698,0.0,0.09935743425706108,0.04723250247859835,0.21153121594856655,0.0,0.0,0.02615796913494828,0.0,0.0,0.15119448923122605,0.0517140874136286,0.0,0.0,0.04650680698077357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990803116335565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531374676570796,0.048255707865760014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593280530505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03498914143702863,0.10587732338544197,0.11012881235591698,0.0,0.1012395223865662,0.08933278810350555,0.0,0.09134087064912423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450567810776442,0.03619952865688071,0.25323187728057955,0.11168923287282356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319905761691772,0.041559709914562114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05131742541100261,0.04554373148239625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062508002784366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892545200761626,0.0,0.0,0.037928505518531386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03937258380539537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040328633637387326,0.0,0.0,0.15984223948688686,0.03368927627134973,0.0,0.03801088430003437,0.0,0.05452199988902901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485944235554765,0.0,0.07157377473804326,0.03825652336049956,0.04160172118286983,0.0,0.0,0.1657907399478397,0.06324242846638473,0.030498122277977536,0.0,0.0,0.11101636092844708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463023690610524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725311757993023,0.0,0.0,0.03927236368543438,0.028073839373600102,0.03778014261675091,0.11453790114980585,0.0,0.042795259990645415,0.0,0.042948729510139685,0.0,0.0,0.04588163883788466,0.0,0.10395316197325667,0.0483368841217356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030650793463790814
mentalhealth,that_onion_knight,2019/01/21,"I NEED HELP I am so sad 
My ex girlfriend (we are now only a half year not together ) has a new boyfriend 
She blocked me everywhere 
And I can't find a new girlfriend or get even new contacts 
I feel so bad right now ",-0.5997101449275384,1.5585783043478258,1.2521739130434817,99.74028985507248,92.04347826086956,4.8057971014492775,22.88405797101449,6.42735559955562,0.37838840579710187,166,7,40,2,6,54,36,46,0.211,0.7170000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.7616,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,7,4,0,1,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,8,0,0,7,0,7,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,1,6,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22629395613347006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17900898324221845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370380211684446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477112852127045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159900207832785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166186436591272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009610721703638,0.0,0.7852708259474409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20612618051738985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314532573626735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745307527731492
mentalhealth,SupahHotTatahTot,2019/01/21,"Nervous about seeking help. TW: SH
Going to see my doctor to get a referral to a Psych after hopefully resolving stomach issues today.
I'm nervous about seeing one because I've never really talked in depth to a doctor about these things. I just know that me venting and not being able to resolve my anxieties on my own all the time has been putting immense strain on my relationship with my boyfriend, myself, and my sister. My mother deals with a lot of mental illness as well so she let's me talk about stuff with her. We all think a psychiatrist and therapist would be good. The thoughts of medicine make me uncomfortable. I had a really bad time with Xanax for my depression years ago. But coping mechanisms don't work for me like they used to. I can't use self-harm as a coping mechanism either and I still get STRONG urges to do such again.
I'm moving, trying to keep my relationship afloat, I have an interview tomorrow, and I'm trying to figure all these things out. I don't have friends to hang/talk with anymore. So I thought here would be okay to vent and maybe get some reassurance that shit will be okay. It feels lonely trying to handle all of this. My ownself feels like its saying ""bugger off"". 
If any one has any suggestions/kind words or is open to talking about stuff, let a girl know please.",3.718498023715416,5.8430085770751,4.332944664031622,84.48028656126483,73.90118577075098,7.4458498023715425,24.93873517786561,8.296473431620573,1.608353359683794,1042,34,198,18,22,331,156,253,0.107,0.767,0.126,0.584,0,2,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,1,4,13,19,1,3,11,2,20,6,2,3,5,45,41,13,0,4,6,2,2,2,1,3,4,1,0,1,11,14,0,1,10,0,0,3,5,7,1,2,4,5,26,12,36,28,8,20,0,2,2,0,18,7,1,5,12,133,37,5,0.10872972042779147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963823367833085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478798767837662,0.0,0.08317793852092845,0.0,0.10783066611693927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078477491374952,0.0662806283800032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120955674550504,0.09364874888123673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22257895226117694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995402722170007,0.07767653399883963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400431228677853,0.0,0.17042037380941635,0.0,0.061793605796504426,0.0911973308481865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287923967860761,0.0,0.0,0.1079931457665093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348557925839473,0.0,0.09664397134510198,0.0,0.1132252720453737,0.11951002163854077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223670116027162,0.0,0.10623969850140046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243812009611073,0.0,0.0,0.0725779326856668,0.0,0.1092336184374396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957398468804253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155624855325336,0.0,0.0,0.08385906336855778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735614501830696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935258210746826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930340038022444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393100861793088,0.0,0.0,0.2334700575550057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646623777560539,0.0,0.0,0.173287019793181,0.0,0.11342881147709112,0.0,0.11160949553106078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683169518553989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489390330642444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495713226850005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624358575913572,0.14447038979783647,0.06966961453644145,0.0,0.1726385055840765,0.12680234872538967,0.0,0.10306306153303654,0.0,0.0,0.22146102889252248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781513654855486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776107657906533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791565314361525,0.0,0.0,0.1544769475676447,0.0,0.0,0.07001837511158389
mentalhealth,Sun-lun,2019/01/21,"Are visual hallucinations meant occur all the time? Hi, I'm not properly diagnosed but my therapist is almost positive I have bipolar. I did some reading and found that people can experience hallucinations, but they're most commonly audio ones. This was way before I was hallucinating 24/7. It's been happening for probably 3/4 months now. Whenever I look at something, whatever I'm looking at (including peripherals) looks like it's moving/morphing/distorting. I've been looking for a visual aid for ages and have only just found one - [this is the best visual representation I've come across that shows what happens pretty much constantly](https://gfycat.com/BountifulUnluckyCowrie) (0.5x speed is the most accurate).

Sometimes when I'm lying in bed, the ceiling above me looks and feels like it's getting closer and closer to me, but is obviously not moving, but the more I looked, the more and more intense it felt. It's affected my sleep a couple of times in the past week too, as I see shapes in the darkness in my room due to the constant morphing. 2 nights ago I seen what looked like the silhouette of many octopus tentacles moving around on the ceiling in total darkness. 

Does anyone else experience this? I don't know if it's just my eyes playing tricks or if my mental health is getting worse. I smoke weed every day (for the past 6 months or so) and have done recreationally for years and have never hallucinated from weed before. Obviously it's not a good idea to do any drug every day, but I'd be dead without it. I turn into an unstable mess without it. It's taken like 12 years of basic, free NHS talking therapies, suicide attempts, drug abuse etc to get taken seriously, and I'm now on the list for a mental health assessment, so hopefully I should find out what's going on soon. 

Apologies for the train wreck of a post, I'm just a bit worried atm.

TL;DR Pretty much everything in my field of vision does [this](https://gfycat.com/BountifulUnluckyCowrie) every time I look at something, does anyone else get similar things when they hallucinate? Is it a big cause for concern? Am I having a psychotic break or something?",6.2122587543437575,8.160312674418607,6.841872939499242,69.77837209302328,66.95865633074935,9.679016305800587,30.915887017731446,10.004066432519934,3.343981270605008,1723,68,283,42,29,565,211,387,0.131,0.754,0.115,-0.7675,0,0,6,0,1,2,67.0,0,0,1,2,12,12,1,0,23,0,24,8,2,2,5,51,57,23,2,4,18,0,2,4,0,1,6,1,2,0,20,12,0,0,8,3,2,4,7,3,0,2,13,14,22,10,37,42,13,53,0,0,11,0,4,21,0,10,29,173,42,1,0.0,0.08872105678755099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637697701563007,0.0,0.07498192723891102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092125543925472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471626571885076,0.15344768476593973,0.0,0.06665945209412627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743544963893955,0.0,0.078582384245466,0.0,0.08175002812091371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692282124345608,0.0,0.0645028540995669,0.0,0.08091913556915796,0.0,0.0,0.08285376386640017,0.0,0.09658335634046017,0.0,0.0,0.07600205318438599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965850884876526,0.07662867071697346,0.0,0.0,0.17367503557506994,0.0,0.12510597003958274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351146545672299,0.0,0.0,0.18926995798017512,0.0,0.06729769592789855,0.146494844356767,0.0,0.0,0.03786179180361339,0.05349458919518218,0.07189694895509223,0.0,0.0684393501027038,0.0,0.0,0.1642050378184493,0.0,0.0,0.15648772189140675,0.0,0.04255627004446947,0.06280614618429976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324330216293989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918877629059794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437315584602608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453088315721663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04115232222099777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463311694014908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5030455700249947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591699603471602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092370876006342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195376785696106,0.15917207866224872,0.11009145360057128,0.0,0.05775239849477275,0.0,0.0,0.07027020450192235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148182517074952,0.056949935977479826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296367341263208,0.051912657024586216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171474642979682,0.15236062049809945,0.08073376091128162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490068676494903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967000237698623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493450080502992,0.0,0.0,0.1729398239919375,0.0740586530928338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190702924211445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018604763482986,0.0,0.0,0.08563228966157199,0.08694194257962905,0.049747225804504566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099013057438208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144839783344549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05943659442745411,0.06006455866045735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14436411142954034,0.0,0.0,0.07604470439867073,0.07630954831065717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644107479780968
mentalhealth,JonBovix2,2019/01/21,"Tired No one cares about you, were all just targets to each other. I'm done letting people convince themselves I'm important to them because all that does is lead to me being used and abused I cant even see faces anymore. Nothing matters unless it affect s you. I'm one of them now it's the only way I can live around here I dont know where to go. ",1.3590926640926642,3.25119687837838,2.884208494208494,93.21310810810814,80.21621621621622,4.769111969111969,22.73359073359073,5.288315135182226,0.12429961389961353,275,9,59,1,7,90,58,74,0.129,0.778,0.093,-0.3968,0,1,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,2,2,1,7,2,0,0,1,0,8,2,1,3,2,12,16,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,1,8,2,8,12,3,6,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,41,12,1,0.0,0.2807332461662984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349792143535137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21092539980516484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444354425734529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415744784030792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073463806575228,0.24247023489921776,0.2776900269401024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564955711221126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465754654975964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302151419594367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422855555203541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092209381411988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273487742284885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211111684037424,0.18020232146472934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426324540438406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888092192832465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723258227741968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046386933287452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807066438178635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hunter3200,2019/01/21,"Breakdown Hello. Earlier I was reading a story about a heroic deed done by one which unfortunately led them to their death. They were young and had so much ahead of them.they were also female. Hearing the story, I had an emotional break down. I cried so much. Now I sit mourning over it and just cant let it go. I don't even know the person other than the fact that they did something very amazing while it let them to their demise. I seem to do this stuff whenever I hear stories about the death of females or when a female victim dies in a horror movie. Strangely, I never get really emotional when they are male.

I feel like I separate females into a certain category, as if they were 'special beings' when they are normal humans like you and me. 

Well, what do you think? I'm not sure what to do about this.",3.5550072568940507,5.336494408805034,4.468050314465412,84.81322206095794,73.46540880503143,6.9048863086598935,24.809385582970492,7.61054688173877,1.245393420416062,637,20,123,8,13,206,105,159,0.15,0.7170000000000001,0.133,-0.5952,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,9,1,13,9,1,0,10,0,18,0,0,1,4,18,27,13,4,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,11,4,0,0,4,1,0,2,4,2,1,1,8,3,22,7,17,16,2,16,0,1,0,0,17,4,0,3,10,99,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874934565656918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905836062177774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18006750050208414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17755260409971593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903323977088388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459631815984615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087727735163802,0.12394973745440775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064754181262663,0.0,0.09860508470875276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3910983298742215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535206479146592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3548347394991859,0.0,0.16952845420060506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550876074583238,0.0,0.13381530241630704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16999494921276675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117569325940738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149510009908845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17354877566769672,0.0,0.11114971097277716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579495439419234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357018034727824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198618078086029,0.0,0.0,0.16352341544284293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117296287281188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431571750592998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599897615689726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MisssBadgerEnt,2019/01/21,"Feeling stranded [trigger warning] I've dealt with anxiety and depression since I was a child, but was diagnosed at 19.  I'm 28 now and things were better, but they have been worse since before thanksgiving.  I started self harming and idk why.  But the urge is horrible and just overall I struggle with motivation, leaving the house, giving my all at work, wanting to be physical with my husband, actually make the time to see my family and friends.....  

​

But when I try to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist, **no one** is taking on new patients.  I got a list of psychiatrists that are covered through my insurance, I literally made 29 calls to different locations, and NO ONE is accepting new patients.  I live in a large metro city.  How are there NO doctors that are taking on new patients??  It makes me feel stranded and helpless.  There's no one out there to help me?  Fucking seriously?  I keep telling my husband I'm trying to get help, but it seems absolutely impossible.  And then I slip into self harm again and I don't know why!!  But I can't actually try to better myself and work on this bullshit because I can't get in anywhere.

​

I just don't know what to do.  I feel like I'm on this little island of desperation and there's nothing around to help me make progress.",3.4971038251366124,6.061458737704921,4.624180327868854,80.01747267759565,76.37704918032787,7.673224043715848,31.478142076502728,8.59863814320734,2.8677355191256835,1028,52,184,22,24,336,137,244,0.196,0.675,0.128,-0.9688,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,6,11,12,1,1,8,0,17,3,0,7,1,43,41,20,0,1,8,2,3,1,1,0,2,0,0,3,8,18,0,1,8,0,0,0,8,7,0,3,6,4,24,5,27,34,1,22,0,2,1,1,13,12,1,1,11,120,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.2030239088323913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254188908435789,0.2527999366135493,0.0,0.0,0.07957771157874231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260299114406152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341177507248015,0.0,0.08851635772291366,0.0,0.0,0.1840007082177845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621964912339812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895953092935338,0.10558168777064317,0.0,0.10868244290743206,0.0,0.10647248526171388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806412111735684,0.0,0.1577922587544304,0.07431442674478816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036831704894773,0.09616807226140577,0.10869599636074116,0.0997888435033378,0.0,0.0,0.08319711533639104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20917432741241976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002918089948805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246088823888922,0.0,0.0,0.11433721731788475,0.0,0.0,0.11014589271892176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0508206396785717,0.10425889958954716,0.09185467800339926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842957414113487,0.20830953123903767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013997047527329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981337736441943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114670972160191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289328111907891,0.09469910992721796,0.21703844564919952,0.0,0.0,0.17209866896392834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362838610382029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874797381958064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642548919348973,0.0,0.09092114550530532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910860749517155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065695371758492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21187543471886414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135576995383305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18773010221833494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146072961678111,0.0,0.1060088585252831,0.0,0.0,0.2527999366135493,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway7757777,2019/01/21,"Im 16 and giving up Im a 16y/o girl. Because of a mentally ill mother and an unstable family, I've struggled with with a form of schizophrenia as a child - however, at about the age of 14 the symptoms went away and my doctors decided I no longer required treatment for it.

As of late - the past year or so - I've been feeling exhausted. School causes me tremendeous amounts of stress, so much, I have actually threw up and somehow got fever days prior to important exams, even though I aced them. My mother still struggles with mental illness, which she sometimes takes out on me.

To see just how disfunctional my family is - my parents are actually letting my 20y/o boyfriend to live with us.

My one ""escape"" would be music, which I absolutely love. However, I'm bad at it. I'm average at guitar, drums and uke and a terrible singer. Everytime I try practicing I realize just how absolutely terrible I am, even though I spent a good part of my childhood isolated from other kids and focused on practicing instruments and singing for 5-8hours a day - which would be literally all of my free time. Realizing how bad I am after so much practice makes me feel absolutely useless. I hate it. It manages to make me cry everytime, sometimes several times in a day. My bf, who is a singer, literally never practices, but is really good at singing - that upsets me even more. He doesn't put in any effort while I do and he gets so much more out of it.

I don't know what to do. All I ever think about is what a disappointment I am to myself. I've tried everything, but I can't seem to get better. At this point, I don't have the will to get out of bed, meet my friends or just in general do anything, since I feel like I don't deserve it. I feel like the most useless, worthless human being I could - after all, who puts days upon days of practice into something they truly love and still manages to suck at it?

I just had to get it off my chest.",4.317209098862641,5.436671464566932,5.677637795275594,79.49017497812774,70.5748031496063,9.109011373578305,30.909011373578306,9.444778638647367,2.798577252843395,1512,64,296,33,27,509,202,381,0.13,0.764,0.106,-0.5307,3,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,1,0,2,4,22,24,2,4,16,0,28,9,1,6,5,54,54,26,0,3,8,3,4,2,2,3,6,0,1,4,18,18,0,1,10,4,2,4,7,15,0,1,6,5,42,10,53,40,12,45,0,4,1,2,21,21,1,5,22,206,60,6,0.0,0.0,0.1832565884692296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385204192152827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726785342244051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821775022118977,0.0,0.1567973514639984,0.05723771961338005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304278608819099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645636511493028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496777798787439,0.0,0.10313960732655418,0.302773589573503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961058454992618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18605093308869666,0.08493369855262689,0.0,0.0,0.08438706517628099,0.0,0.17703231496775315,0.0,0.18990519354751245,0.1341576802221787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254329644279714,0.0,0.1962257311258625,0.0900729531456738,0.0,0.15750989030007448,0.07509667021343235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270219584513414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028461305751539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160241594510551,0.0,0.10591801823979133,0.0,0.0,0.0960143330899791,0.0,0.09174502751799196,0.0,0.08291129366314777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694883964175202,0.0,0.12535171927954394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924880966841173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070716064402048,0.0,0.07241786436620909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636259033598047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425964846833212,0.10167948871575827,0.08963371375327449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887614333242221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18878147466808928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601517505713085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502708338951757,0.07482241866126266,0.08547877890904712,0.0,0.10607499285835907,0.0,0.07767118448217232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228520975625374,0.18572975788378376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996985828468315,0.0,0.1075567794242003,0.19631956452547547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759319625494738,0.0705976002139108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016433398226799,0.18450336337769896,0.0,0.10950224009722256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749752667166095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294451691841688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704190849009763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340109210967066,0.0,0.0,0.06046551187541885
mentalhealth,OrganicEnid,2019/01/21,"When I get sick I think that I am sacrificing myself so others don't have to suffer... Im not doing great mentally right now. It's been like this for a few months now, it's not that bad but yeah I am just not doing well - but I'm fine / don't think it's serious because I still feel content doing certain things and it's not like im totally feeling hopeless or I want to kill myself now - definitely not.

​

anyway... as mentioned, I've been kind of depressed for a few months ago. I would say it is a mild depression + a lot of laziness. I went from going to school (3 years ago) to dropping out after my 1st year in college so I could start my own business but I slowly stopped caring and now I live with my parents and do nothing all day. the only productive thing i do is probably play some games and make my own food (which most of the time Im making some pasta noodles and putting cheese on it). I went from being excited to be independent (always wanted to be independent but here I am), to basically being a shell of a person. a lazy log. I stay home all day and play video games, eat, and sleep. my parents have given up on me basically and no longer nag me to do something. they were never encouraging of anything I did, and often insulted me for mygrades and the college I went into. I am not really close to my parents, but I am somewhat closer to my mom, as my father and I have a really bad relationship but we all still live together.

​

unrelated but comedically ironic: I used to look down on young adults who stayed home with parents and didnt have a job as I thought they were lazy and pathetic, and I've literally become my own worst fear.

​

anyway... so now that I basically do nothing all day and literally am super useless lol, whenever I get sick or hurt - at first I try to get better and heal myself / make sure that I do everything in my path to get better. but now when i realize im sick, I just sort of accept it and actually appreciate being sick or hurt because I feel like if im sick then it's because I'm sacrificing myself so others close to me don't have to suffer. that im taking away some of their pain/ sickness, so they suffer less. 

​

i think/ know it sounds really crazy that i've lost my mind, but at least that way i dont feel that worthless... and there is 1 in particular very close to me... i wont disclose who or what, but basically they are very sick and are dying. Ive been with them most of my life since I was a young child, and i try to do everythin I can to save them, but i know they are dying and will not live much longer. so because of that, I often pray that i get their sickness and pain so they can be pain free and not suffer, that I openly accept and WANT to be sick and hurt not for attention, but so i can take their place in sickness and suffering.

​

anyone have any advice for me? I don't know what i will do once that being dies, i dont know if i will continue to live or not. it's not that I'm in such a deep depression I'm suicidal, it's more like I've devoted my whole life to them and they helped me overcome depression before - and while I believe i can still find happiness and fulfillment after their death, i dont know if its worth the effort (as mentioned, im just lazy).  I've made it this far as I care too much for them to leave them. I am currently 21 years old, female. ",3.7193534482758634,4.503817343390807,5.2727586206896575,83.08560344827588,71.6867816091954,8.386206896551725,26.71264367816092,8.660442795831766,1.7628195402298847,2645,85,558,45,48,897,274,696,0.192,0.6559999999999999,0.151,-0.9926,6,0,1,0,0,2,101.0,1,0,16,6,31,53,3,1,15,2,63,20,1,7,8,124,105,66,6,8,34,6,4,4,0,5,16,2,2,3,37,39,3,1,18,6,2,5,22,27,1,1,15,7,91,27,64,76,24,68,1,16,1,0,37,24,0,18,39,389,128,4,0.0,0.0,0.04861257096053257,0.0,0.0,0.04867895875624975,0.08831655932426713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041450340773123984,0.269874417500864,0.3026553603494512,0.03387612903648902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034832033294454244,0.0,0.04099376768761705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046803137376162623,0.0,0.08318743067452708,0.12146783827274868,0.05501711234021111,0.04238917224793877,0.05612481212640463,0.0,0.08811521299601947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158008709865704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03977348326334165,0.0,0.0,0.09638028993814952,0.0,0.17162346467709766,0.0,0.15510132664035825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514956863078426,0.0,0.0,0.050973513577871436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477080172996732,0.0,0.0,0.056056089772517234,0.1007524998060544,0.03558807791948041,0.0,0.0,0.0455303042953918,0.04237288974192092,0.060236888364021274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013225552106228,0.0,0.028311197021799506,0.0,0.0,0.05492157134564683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053029339455688426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03339016208464608,0.0,0.0999376647354559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998500619022946,0.0,0.3766636932028721,0.0,0.04943402313436742,0.0,0.05511327602651191,0.05187499488668382,0.13688599836002968,0.0,0.0,0.05274723609257509,0.0,0.0,0.07037207410001949,0.0973490055173272,0.0,0.17595137747775275,0.0,0.04183232643814581,0.0,0.05437931151991337,0.04235120764734199,0.0,0.04713646471560316,0.09975634817939608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05020213060850867,0.0,0.05029927719454585,0.058343106219008574,0.07952423381974935,0.0,0.07323999095891459,0.0,0.03842064942624065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559829515338576,0.0,0.0522728034334028,0.05305169500951944,0.0,0.03788679919909553,0.1590210531680338,0.0,0.22125609133394927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04349682006167186,0.052046411660444256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05370934551081951,0.0,0.0,0.050078160408826976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957389177919454,0.0,0.0,0.05348301586330589,0.0,0.04254201510776255,0.0,0.03961514564242186,0.0,0.05041576810998013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041207751369465306,0.0,0.04985130073205511,0.0,0.0,0.038350270710871534,0.0,0.0,0.035259543220954905,0.1061930159813653,0.11934774796425887,0.04164784203204967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448987986777646,0.0,0.04695035398989879,0.0,0.07490984916197542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619017642136192,0.09575894583993984,0.0,0.03954780338628749,0.02904771643698538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06764267101544574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04302444618633262,0.0,0.0822057199212226,0.08814710753641904,0.039541086034609534,0.0,0.0,0.04478995948557697,0.13853791522673245,0.0,0.05561703102010061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03538737739561703,0.0,0.3026553603494512,0.09623830754228864
mentalhealth,momo12340,2019/01/21,"I think i might be depressed, but i dont think i am because i can easily laugh around my friends and continue to be extroverted. I match up with many of the symptoms of smiling depression but I don't feel like when I'm smiling I'm putting on a mask because I still feel actually happy and joyful. ",7.036174863387978,5.58875086885246,8.008852459016392,73.8589617486339,64.90163934426228,11.4120218579235,40.005464480874316,10.504223727775694,4.0891595628415285,237,12,48,5,3,81,42,61,0.126,0.485,0.39,0.9741,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,0,0,11,13,5,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,9,5,7,10,0,7,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,31,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.232623040635874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21220741434638027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906266560290954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41063012517958575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793778400380819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410626756973821,0.1702976561913821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18417064660249916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25375835804095515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645969971792162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416783955968195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528819299767711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396362445674844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903693871490566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247766546871098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054866496357899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JorgenNick,2019/01/21,"Lack of Sleep Dramatically Effects My Mood, Focus, and Emotional Stability. Hello, 

These symptoms may seem like a rather common affect of lack of sleep. However, I am not sure if I am hyper sensitive to my mental state or if it is something more. I've read a lot about dopamine and serotonin and my guess is that my dopamine levels are lower than the average person. Alcohol (in larger quantities) augments these symptoms once the effects have worn off. 

​

I figure someone on this forum is quite knowledgeable in neurobiology and I wanted to just post the question on this forum...

​

My symptoms generally include: depression, lack of interest and focus in activities that are generally of great importance to me, lack of motivation, feelings of sadness, and I'm often paranoid/hypersensitive when interacting with others. These symptoms are not always at once but definitely have occurred with some correlation. 

​

The odd part is, even in an exhausted state I still know that this is basically my brain running at a reduced state, so I am aware that its not my normal state of being and can sort of ""muscle"" my way through. 

​

Any suggestions on why this may be occurring (in what seems to be a heightened state) would be great! 

On a final note: I am very physically fit and eat relatively well, exercise often helps these symptoms. 

Thank you!!!",7.474307162195423,9.402756041841004,7.666999753876446,65.13433177455083,63.89539748953975,10.309721880383952,37.07137583066699,10.46071229359064,4.483459561900075,1110,55,164,28,17,360,142,239,0.085,0.782,0.134,0.9486,2,0,2,0,0,0,52.0,0,1,0,4,10,11,0,0,10,0,22,12,3,4,1,48,31,14,0,10,9,0,1,1,0,3,8,0,0,1,16,10,2,0,10,2,0,1,3,3,1,0,1,1,17,7,30,23,8,26,0,2,0,0,7,14,0,14,5,127,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135183292733384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112598113227772,0.3704689972478452,0.41546890179017226,0.05812914609971561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542364602039928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362356426267436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746710153312788,0.0,0.0961531884701268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056458554005171635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0432211187325249,0.0,0.0,0.0936388635420179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848340324470206,0.09416555719436512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729525968037636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046977422887395405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041761077234381265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267180775524892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614346053280514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375198413746564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820662406099705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256621522247524,0.0,0.0,0.07463760117085727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186595041229272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575685804286684,0.09091821237753553,0.085502859785589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563506751235198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108292038875916,0.0,0.0724266959365433,0.065806470589207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826422100563062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056363180021263,0.4442308337150727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869824875528934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705297275610494,0.05041815813462353,0.06784982913990759,0.0,0.0,0.076856540956407,0.0,0.07713215877980968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060722346065570164,0.0,0.41546890179017226,0.0
mentalhealth,vms2800,2019/01/21,"A short poem called Beautiful Heart Beautiful Heart:
                                 
Almost 28 years old.                                              
I feel older though.                               
The past refuses to.                              
Leave me.                                            
I struggle with taking a breath of  fresh air.                                                Why?                                                      
There is no peace in my heart.           
ONLY a torn up path of destruction. 
Left by others.                                          
Left by my unwavering stubbornness and ego.                                   
But.                                                         
I struggle to push through.
To fight.                                        
It’s a complete joke. 
To say that I’m in complete control of my happiness?             
So much negativity and dread in my own head.                              
But wait.
I think I found you.                      
A calming breeze that caresses my.      
Beautiful heart?",0.5081730769230788,2.6506457788461546,2.2091538461538462,88.48584615384617,105.6346153846154,5.9261538461538485,21.546153846153846,7.1686216300943375,1.3968438461538475,427,17,82,10,20,139,72,104,0.199,0.59,0.211,0.6769,0,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,1,0,1,4,9,3,3,6,0,1,6,6,1,0,13,7,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,4,3,1,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,3,12,3,15,6,2,13,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,4,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027128516872533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303876918077335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937453608412547,0.0,0.15711319898229892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082936369668981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359202233215066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911925274836593,0.0,0.0,0.14376392761475942,0.0,0.0,0.6639885233777989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832597410041268,0.30439769713866643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297594534641027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699186275108486,0.0,0.0,0.10653821532733572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337235447292237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139834997665528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928869838006135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532377779154413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975850346363512,0.13762926209463575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640167323606927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020782742645864
mentalhealth,jocrisp,2019/01/21,"How to deal with anxiety over going to a concert? I'm not scared of anything, I'm just nervous for some reason. I was invited by a friend and it is this Wednesday. I really don't want to cancel.",1.156463414634146,3.1111040975609785,3.9489634146341466,85.00685975609757,81.1951219512195,7.0268292682926825,24.88414634146341,8.07648339933343,1.6802634146341466,152,6,31,3,4,54,34,41,0.13,0.6890000000000001,0.181,0.467,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,8,7,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,1,8,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,22,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106832705310663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342049339554916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41869536716407296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31376991235966584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23080927332594295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260173033629959,0.4175624696082523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066003475169229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395420890728491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,conoconocon,2019/01/21,What did people with mental health problems do before the internet? I'm in hospital at the moment and I spend all my time on Reddit/Twitter/Instagram/YouTube looking at memes and cute animals. Others I've talked to say they do the same. What did people do if they couldn't do that?,3.4238181818181843,5.670285563636366,4.361818181818183,83.38272727272731,75.18181818181819,7.309090909090909,25.54545454545455,8.238735603445708,1.820381818181818,226,8,41,4,5,73,42,55,0.052000000000000005,0.884,0.065,0.168,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,1,8,9,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,4,1,6,6,2,6,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,2,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002615714925324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750783025320981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963171821812834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556042694255998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.489263419957901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376435268251382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806118934317606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836189976330797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20575803968577874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lrob976,2019/01/21,"How can I start to help myself What do people who aren’t sad do with their spare time except play video games lie in bed and watching YouTube/Netflix 

This is real stupid question but I’m off work again for my mental health and I’ve been through CBT etc but I’m really struggling with where to start I’m not overweight but I’m very unfit and a little chub I want to feel better in myself 

How did/do you guys do that keep you occupied and healthy physically and mentally? Where did you start? Where did you find the motivation to do it? 

I’m afraid if I don’t do something now I might actually end up dead 

Thanks in advance 
",1.1615104166666654,3.608231921875,2.3958125000000017,93.08460416666668,85.25,5.288333333333334,20.252083333333328,6.742157984588678,0.27075770833333346,498,15,106,6,15,159,85,128,0.104,0.735,0.161,0.7002,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,1,4,7,7,1,2,2,0,13,2,0,3,0,23,25,11,1,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,5,7,1,1,4,3,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,2,12,3,14,21,1,17,0,1,1,0,10,9,0,3,7,64,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.18858056219700667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091069322777794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17115890819626778,0.0,0.21552076343636054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977111613352294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766236636197796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134426937651708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20541183422549866,0.0,0.0,0.12952895544002205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171766235667535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936836110752808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894937390300249,0.20500383966320346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397268761553113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21648013932920773,0.0,0.0,0.2199566541477474,0.12379856063702878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877048195898013,0.0,0.0,0.4103422850531223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020230440702656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17791527629157405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112683501160086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944847775218338,0.11398170450433215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406856448886596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OnionWayWay,2019/01/21,"Spreading Awareness Of Chronic Brain Fog Brain fog is an informal umbrella term for a number of related symptoms that involve the sufferer's brain feeling slow and like it’s not functioning correctly, almost like it’s in a fog. Presentations can involve anything from memory problems to difficulty thinking to confusion. It can be caused temporarily by coming on or off of certain drugs and medications, but many cases are chronic. A lot of the time, chronic brain fog is caused by an underlying physical health condition or nutrient deficiency, but it can also simply result from stress or anxiety.

In the recent decades there has been a surge in awareness and acceptance of mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, but chronic brain fog has been left to the wayside in these movements for what I believe are three reasons. 1. Brain fog is ambiguously defined and it can take so many different forms. Two cases tend to be very different from each other. 2. It is not very well known about by the general public and is called by a variety of different names in different cases. There are different names associated with different underlying physical conditions, for example: Fibro Fog, Lupus Fog, MS Fog, etc. and there are also many different synonyms for the condition itself such as cognitive disfunction, mental impairment, clouding of consciousness, etc. 3. There is less stigma surrounding it than the other conditions I mentioned, and stigma was one of the major motivations for spreading awareness of those conditions. People don’t make claims about people faking their brain fog for attention or give them useless advice like “just be happy” in the same way as something like depression, however, there still tends to be a lot of misunderstanding that comes from people who have never experienced brain fog which is why it’s still important to spread awareness about.

Along with that, spreading awareness is important for those who are going through this and are unaware that they are not alone and that there are [communities on the internet](Reddit.com/r/brainfog) that are there to support them.

It’s sometimes difficult for neurotypicals to understand why brain fog makes life so difficult and why it is so soul sucking, which is what I’m going to attempt to explain in the rest of this post. When you don’t have brain fog, it’s easy to forget how much you need your brain in day to day tasks. Everything from talking to people, to doing work, to even just thinking idly requires some amount of brain function, so when your brain starts functioning below it’s normal level all of these things become a lot more difficult and mentally exhausting. Suddenly you find yourself looking at various things in your life with dread that you maybe used to look at with excitement or at least indifferently. It’s also not easy for others to see just how hard your brain has to work now to go about your life and they tend to be less empathetic towards your struggles than you sometimes need them to be, which can be isolating. Another major source of suffering comes from anxiety surrounding one’s brain fog. Since your brain is literally the organ that makes you you, it can be terrifying when it stops working and you can’t trust it anymore. Due to brain fog having so many possible causes, many times sufferers are clueless as to what the source of their brain fog is which can be even more scary. Many are left with the fear that their brains are permanently damaged and they will never recover. Doctors also tend to be dismissive of patients presenting with brainfog because there simply isn’t enough knowledge about it and it is difficult to find the cause. This is even more isolating.

If you are interested in learning more about brain fog, I recommend that you check out [this article](https://themighty.com/2017/06/things-people-with-brain-fog-understand/) and take a look at our subreddit: r/BrainFog",12.099600973236008,10.5086593810219,10.50682481751825,60.402524330900256,55.18978102189782,14.388807785888073,44.585158150851576,13.023866798666859,5.971930413625305,3216,149,489,90,30,998,290,685,0.136,0.7859999999999999,0.078,-0.9929,9,1,2,1,0,0,81.0,1,17,9,6,40,32,1,5,25,0,59,35,20,13,5,95,91,44,0,5,16,0,2,4,0,1,15,0,0,0,51,29,0,2,16,0,1,7,10,20,1,4,3,7,30,12,102,77,25,57,1,7,4,0,40,27,1,13,25,358,81,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0339351480046024,0.0,0.0,0.034774407765562024,0.03596704389534594,0.0,0.1110857429937291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036414636706973834,0.07969894434888151,0.0,0.03444018294103481,0.0,0.0,0.02857763619619265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02116945994174341,0.03835361104167416,0.0,0.03912581236129087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.814110964362185,0.03546048986286278,0.0,0.0,0.1426981487885388,0.0,0.08974356754077491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479251388202276,0.0,0.05982120225745612,0.0,0.0,0.2539787024111763,0.039800532389144,0.035544896970151334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04027268121918765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03588261831297012,0.07746031236670327,0.06881122801098541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031210687775775226,0.0,0.0,0.03907790453191288,0.01755918306445477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348030666372202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033313622316395265,0.0592090311092908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03696789185705515,0.031108869331030714,0.0,0.0,0.07382706236386784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546269808867559,0.0,0.07358682717309792,0.06786408326589814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748664055225283,0.0,0.0,0.0885718102691555,0.0,0.0,0.0695422935567995,0.21124839067175552,0.034888273788615976,0.0,0.0,0.03498413461640925,0.1049909514833696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02552858562044956,0.05149975495824033,0.053567720346730976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034025413145412124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706427934343357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630224082210168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03914985021371882,0.03325918560625485,0.0,0.0,0.03322936776587146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03570548227524846,0.034289051918091354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027673188332675742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028726808818196576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026734797658812048,0.06869244086012387,0.0,0.02458018512206077,0.0,0.05546658617553293,0.029033605474325264,0.039780042756128266,0.03630454868812637,0.0,0.0,0.03940816608565231,0.0,0.03609499596875726,0.05222126527075125,0.027912514912860342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0461425940632159,0.04450374566849664,0.0,0.0,0.04049957442272797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033923558378167705,0.07230475700362057,0.0,0.029993265806282237,0.0,0.05730737352703594,0.0,0.027564940605368182,0.0,0.0,0.03122404305881044,0.0,0.094008049945644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584573633299503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kubezzy,2019/01/21,"Tired. if i took my own life tonight, will it get any better?",-1.5138461538461527,0.4529333846153882,-0.34730769230769104,109.12980769230772,99.76923076923076,2.6,14.192307692307693,3.1291,-1.8089692307692309,46,1,12,0,2,14,13,13,0.184,0.633,0.184,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180397330273889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.413626639376652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443444926047552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33033756063519604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5375315512322589,0.0,0.0,0.5196118049188245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ComprehensiveCandle1,2019/01/21,"Tired and unsure of how to progress I've been struggling with some kind of mental health issue for over 10 years now and I'm just finally at the point where I'm so tired of dealing with it that I need to ask for advice. I'm in my mid 20's and nothing I've tried so far has made much of an improvement.

​

I won't attempt to attach any labels to the way I feel as I've never visited a psychologist or any mental health professional and feel self-diagnosis is probably not the best idea. I would describe the issue as being constantly re-occurring, varying intensity emotional pain. It's there more often than it isn't, I can't identify any triggers, and as soon as it lifts I feel at peace. However, this pain comes on and just wears me down and I really can't deal with this constant cycle anymore. Sometimes these things come and go in half an hour. Other times they last days and up to weeks. The longest I'll ever go without it coming on to some degree is perhaps most of a day. At its lowest intensity, it feels like a mild feeling that something is wrong, or dissatisfaction with life - the feeling of just having a kinda shitty day. At its worst, it feels like I've just been told all the worst news I could possibly hear in one sitting and the strength of it is so intense that suicide as a way to just stop the pain becomes such an enticing idea. Over the years I've had this, I have managed to go from being legitimately suicidal (which culminated in a few 'attempts') to it not being an option at all, but the thoughts are still there and the pain that causes them is as strong as ever. I don't want to die, I just want the pain to stop.

​

I always thought that once I'd achieved enough in life, got myself into a good spot, it would cease. Turns out I was dead wrong. I have everything I could possibly want and it's just left me feeling hopeless because I no longer have an idea of how to 'fix' this issue. I have tried my best to deal with this on my own. I've read countless psychology, self-help and philosophy books as a way to try understand why this happens to me, but I can't even scratch the surface. The best I've managed to get is that my abusive childhood probably did me no favours, but I don't harbour any issues I know about anymore in that area. I'm in pain, and I'm tired, and I really cannot find a single piece of insight into this. I almost feel like I'm going crazy. It's constantly affecting my everyday life and I'm so sick of feeling like I've just been stabbed in the chest when I'm staring into the face of my loved one who's doing her best to console me. 

​

But I'm in a tricky spot, too. I'm lined up for my dream job. The problem is that they do a background medical history check due to the sensitive nature of the role, and if I had any mental illness diagnosis on that history I strongly feel as if I wouldn't end up getting that job. Due to the way things are arranged in my life, if I don't land that job or one very similar, my life falls apart. Hence, I'm incredibly hesitant about enquiring towards seeing a mental health specialist right now. Give it a year, and I could probably get away with it unnoticed. I just don't know if I have the energy to wait another year.

​

I would appreciate any input. I'm getting to my wits end with this.",5.569304682439898,5.418668444279348,6.39408618127786,79.95570198498878,67.38038632986627,9.636590848477924,32.11525126681144,9.333382268041843,2.6508512896712,2625,100,537,46,39,870,288,673,0.177,0.7390000000000001,0.084,-0.9968,5,0,1,0,0,3,76.0,0,0,3,11,31,28,0,1,40,0,45,24,3,6,5,110,99,45,4,16,23,0,12,4,0,5,20,1,0,0,41,32,0,3,21,3,1,9,17,13,0,4,12,15,50,15,88,76,18,86,0,1,2,1,15,41,0,14,35,349,91,9,0.0,0.056094537174217175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046263711064038704,0.0,0.0,0.04740787201136813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03939374707326808,0.20518749609832626,0.2301110870230659,0.19317201753141527,0.04964399244361314,0.0,0.0,0.09390444811736648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044259964130701226,0.0,0.04448096014755664,0.0,0.0,0.028860277196779343,0.052287391799614086,0.0,0.0,0.1987371491686032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04863501644394487,0.0,0.1223472040846665,0.0,0.15348514623170814,0.0,0.11340026479938067,0.0,0.0,0.09159830037232174,0.14642781284760994,0.0,0.0,0.04913528106513011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05325528487031995,0.08386492327847372,0.048918692961860376,0.0,0.031270064204328436,0.085650165664654,0.0,0.0,0.04254946055259756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633223432161708,0.13528938138841815,0.0,0.051862704006040164,0.043271279756149916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894050691895936,0.04541638648911146,0.10762605218834484,0.03970964537021685,0.0378650780211751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041865873355594434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509724024827676,0.0533597853829554,0.0,0.031733480964548366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662400316116354,0.0,0.0,0.16033580773230496,0.0,0.19765807025586235,0.14094393685409867,0.0,0.0,0.04930117315991081,0.0520377135308206,0.03859143050847861,0.0,0.0,0.05143906341610456,0.0,0.16720126037630356,0.09251895230907983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042729533385391975,0.04479774916925365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04769379215612928,0.19084523782859225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03480306344495311,0.035104750138907494,0.03651437642388184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542755245995385,0.0,0.0,0.050419490311361725,0.09624393949982983,0.0,0.3022621783552641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044755094846959484,0.10674580574938043,0.0,0.0,0.15313353278117292,0.04530152244959895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047356507127408014,0.0,0.060659166964914586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04043125706288471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037726795506240425,0.0,0.09877959884634148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036447489607974386,0.04682412517849238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03780873618387397,0.07916289828052653,0.0,0.04949390969475108,0.0,0.10357263682405032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290609486059495,0.0,0.0,0.07517121137459479,0.027606489428829168,0.16324383945666412,0.0,0.04523892968191514,0.0,0.09642978406116688,0.05149634534887231,0.0,0.04928645642148605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039063506815030825,0.083773614275841,0.15031688649080732,0.037976256602758815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042720321123388486,0.0,0.0,0.04563763275835702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089480824821864,0.1035257972385756,0.2301110870230659,0.1219511500707525
mentalhealth,napstabade,2019/01/21,"More hallucinations I’ve been diagnosed with psychosis since I was 12, now I’m 16, I’m on Abilify and it’s helping I guess. I’m still very paranoid about people in my walls and that was it, but for the past like 5 or 6 months, I’ve been seeing a lot of bugs. The most notable experience was when I was in the doctors office and I was sitting looking at my doctor while she was explaining something and I saw the wall next to me out of the corner in my eye and in my mind I was like, “Holy shit, that’s a lot of bugs.” I took a good look at the wall and realized, hey, there aren’t any bugs. Another time I swore I had bed bugs, I took my mattress out of my bed frame and saw so many bed bugs and I went to get my dad and when we came back to my room all of them were gone. 
Not sure if this one is mental health related or drug related, but when I’m stoned I have a hard time understanding people and processing what they’re saying, and it’s like, whatever that’s normal when you smoke weed, but it’s been happening when I’m sober too. Not like, sobering up after smoking a joint but dead sober. 
I’m really not ready to talk to my therapist about this stuff because it’s embarrassing. Any advice is appreciated. Sorry for shitty formatting, I’m on mobile. ",1.8737791370474497,3.5661398859315625,3.7653827078856033,88.43325838981647,77.89733840304183,7.311555629029591,22.461398578277407,8.18289091462,1.06845458753513,982,29,219,18,23,332,144,263,0.111,0.795,0.094,-0.6792,1,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,1,1,1,0,13,8,1,1,11,0,16,7,2,0,2,37,38,25,1,2,10,1,1,4,0,0,5,1,5,0,12,16,0,0,3,0,0,5,4,2,0,1,19,8,26,6,27,19,5,37,0,0,6,0,10,16,1,7,19,131,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979677353830898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065350456327006,0.1392804402530925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213558027738144,0.0,0.08096996063238378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191842909397968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348163664006898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719076364040931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403687301668673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993005968338356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939650038314811,0.0,0.0,0.11140878517657443,0.0,0.0,0.14632365222717705,0.0,0.1174582660564722,0.0,0.1189866879921966,0.0,0.0,0.14118863564912046,0.0,0.0,0.08903097800857987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25956978427953464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230820518762853,0.0,0.0,0.2258491244893441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466548763657166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338581338676771,0.0,0.13411716392399006,0.0,0.1060210533630645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126276717571706,0.0,0.13014202395650354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000685081519118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267981730047894,0.18417070321194376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509222429939853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562917159719247,0.0,0.0,0.10584573135240616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634476136132506,0.10987566926621528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225652992121076,0.0,0.14868868421605988,0.0,0.0,0.10607562288799127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205486278368455,0.0,0.0,0.12518765027175,0.0,0.0,0.10676111907741936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422210710500947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490470496936626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951508375305672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382773425545188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959598854195594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313173815127408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stonebolt,2019/01/21,Is there a medication that will chill me out the same way tobacco does? I've smoked tobacco on and off for a couple years. Never felt addicted. But it's just the only thing that consistently makes me feel better when anxiety seems to be gripping my entire body. Nicotine gum or nicotine vapour doesn't do the trick. I know that tobacco has some sort of MAOI activity and I was on an MAOI for a year but it's just too stimulating for me nowadays.,3.12409090909091,5.2961132272727305,4.656818181818182,81.2677272727273,75.81818181818181,8.49090909090909,25.772727272727273,9.188382445141503,2.258063636363637,356,13,70,9,8,119,65,88,0.016,0.901,0.083,0.6729999999999999,0,0,4,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,1,0,7,0,7,3,1,2,1,18,12,6,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,6,1,9,8,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,4,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972295044088815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20857703687422546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411373847113523,0.0,0.3028534595902313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30168281025470417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238598462244696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786038460498587,0.0,0.26178742639243274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984169260139513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18199645736861436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27466689284958123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102850258552723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20736314112676008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482109544416965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18113700793699786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164174323782897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511562192382925
mentalhealth,HansMeiser5000,2019/01/21,"Are your mental issues worse during winter season? Those who suffer from depression, attentional-deficit symptoms or any other mental issue - do you feel that the winter season (cold, not too much sunshine etcetera) amplifies those issues? For example: currently I need +10 hours of sleep to function (on a poor level). I have near zero motivation and ability to focus on anything. What is your experience?",8.187313432835822,10.600614298507466,8.12853731343284,60.6519104477612,62.731343283582106,10.136119402985075,34.295522388059695,10.355215969177356,4.433838208955224,326,14,40,8,5,105,58,67,0.214,0.725,0.061,-0.9164,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,4,2,1,1,0,6,6,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,5,1,8,6,1,10,0,2,1,0,4,4,0,1,6,31,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452070689124072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488563341957736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304293568741145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078850794205018,0.0,0.0,0.10745636313218276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928912937987976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6654461645393629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283398138655817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622645749591574,0.15758069010663675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126732134443163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22088937622189364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21657576525314493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,messymess789,2019/01/21,"Poor gpa, ADHD and anxiety ruining my chances at better grades. Hi Reddit. I’m an aspiring nursing student, currently a sophomore. I’m desperately trying to improve my GPA. I’ve never done well with school, and my current gpa is a 2.9. I’ve pretty much accepted I won’t be enrolled in the nursing program at my current school due to my poor grades and the overwhelming competitive gpa needed to be accepted. I found a school I would like to transfer to, but I need to bring my gpa to a 3.0. 

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I’m meeting with my doctor to try to find a medication that works well for me. So far no luck, but I’m hoping it will be figured out soon and maybe that will help my studies. 

In addition, I have horrible anxiety. I’ve heard tips about sitting in front of the class, asking questions, attending office hours, even just going to study in the library; I just feel like all of those things are too much. I don’t have an anxiety medication that works well, and I understand that can take a long time to find the right fit for me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t just wait for the right medicine and fail my classes until then. 
Any advice would be so so appreciated. 

TL;DR Asking for tips on how to overcome my ADHD and my anxiety while I try to find a medication that works in the meantime. ",4.954088459811405,5.596835041984737,6.183947013920072,78.1767916479569,68.80916030534351,9.52348450830714,31.82397844634037,9.627879704456738,2.921694387067805,1039,43,203,22,17,350,134,262,0.121,0.74,0.138,0.7692,3,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,5,14,13,0,1,16,0,20,5,0,1,2,39,38,17,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,5,5,1,0,0,9,13,0,1,11,0,2,4,6,3,3,0,4,2,25,10,34,25,3,31,0,3,0,0,7,13,0,3,15,134,34,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660435450917604,0.09921002610224842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904115724376954,0.0,0.3106684294054772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982619836153375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979149107434352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304674657937554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391615665657862,0.0,0.10389634070712997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670569613759728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133459296899055,0.0725301902409161,0.0,0.0,0.2783787570441327,0.0,0.0,0.1113180118837287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05769956193153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805073355334952,0.0,0.0,0.10083821978046692,0.099982653017342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05579603104631865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920094456788267,0.0,0.0,0.08984730965689709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199650677113743,0.0,0.0,0.3068302729654648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926657431491336,0.15056047591050675,0.07830310528064235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328843492592353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373234834666243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024467066870693,0.0,0.0,0.17340528791575685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30824917775262844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633491225529683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744935900701307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059200623422415374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20678845630217774,0.0,0.0,0.10569214002946226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738521835645614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217363979175859,0.0,0.0,0.14424230611377006,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kxoxkxoxk,2019/01/21,"Reaching out Hi. 

I’m pretty bad off and I need some advice. 

I’ve struggled with severe depression and  anxiety my entire life with no therapy or medicine to help. I saw a therapist for three visits about a year ago, but I have a lot of trouble talking to doctors. It’s getting really bad now and nothing I’m doing seems to be helping.  Im successful, have a loving partner and am working to better myself but I feel no joy in any of it. Every day is painful. I want to try to see if medicine can help me as it’s my last option but I don’t know how I can get it without having to talk to a doctor at length. It’s extremely hard for me to do that and I don’t know if I have the strength to. 

I live in the us and have good insurance through my parents. I’m over 18. 

What can I do?

Thank you. ",0.14929824561403393,2.0940376432748558,2.744239766081872,92.30828947368424,84.84795321637426,5.671345029239768,23.535087719298247,6.937597516519254,0.8000666666666658,611,24,138,8,18,212,105,171,0.145,0.626,0.229,0.9643,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,0,4,3,13,0,1,7,0,16,5,0,1,0,26,31,14,0,4,7,1,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,1,4,19,7,26,29,2,12,0,1,2,1,12,6,0,7,5,94,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648513978920866,0.13288147352429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194033776020862,0.0,0.11467668666535068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503283291674499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257852697620248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667613143499904,0.0,0.12911270011042136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068676288525085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630117670852364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579632142556493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566380393347297,0.0,0.0,0.12573295179421173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428516864055598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014338855343175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192280185491406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476740766259673,0.12219233958285322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588212417828713,0.0,0.0,0.13236859818115645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744361693369632,0.13529484615755738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115243704174638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383760444912808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950917191544586,0.0,0.16645143146219396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250697357078502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603279058237278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194546392069758,0.1364676106055827,0.0,0.1693496444981666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671294225217666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409754422361256,0.0,0.13801210920059195,0.17142909097546072,0.17405091283872254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177545260395368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031689913655066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841767709221998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445027832938591,0.0,0.10913240835772424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653371322093772
mentalhealth,Lillyroar,2019/01/21,"My Rage Outbursts I really just need some advice and support right now. 
I’m an 18 year old female whose been diagnosed with PTSD, major depression, and anxiety. Over the past year, I have been struggling with severe rage that has been mostly directed at my partner. I’ve hit him, thrown things at him, verbally and emotionally assaulted him. I’ve done this repeatedly. When I’m in a “rage” I have no control. I know what I’m doing is wrong, but I can’t stop. I have to keep raging. Even though I want to stop. I lose all control of my actions and words, my thoughts too. I told myself that this was just because of my pregnancy but now I’m two months postpartum and I’m still having these rage outbursts. Sometimes they’re over small, petty things. Sometimes it’s because he does something to piss me off or hurt me and I just overreact to the extremes and lose my shit. Last night I think I have found out what my problem is: intermittent explosive disorder. And honestly, I don’t want to live with this disorder. I just want to die. I don’t want to go on living with this rage and anger. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I don’t want my son to ever see me this way. And I can’t stop! I just can’t. It’s like something is compelling me to rage and I don’t want to do this anymore. ",1.5575862068965518,3.8017766360153264,3.05432950191571,90.38195402298851,81.4904214559387,6.472030651340996,23.459770114942533,7.662118739084242,1.1219563218390802,1006,36,213,17,27,329,130,261,0.327,0.601,0.07200000000000001,-0.9978,0,0,2,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,0,4,13,22,11,1,4,0,24,3,2,3,2,49,47,16,1,9,8,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,16,16,0,6,4,0,0,2,9,19,0,1,8,1,37,3,25,38,4,29,0,5,1,0,9,10,2,3,17,138,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013911935675252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937464613885407,0.0,0.20580026670883256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649992334686005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327470157808588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936668106921485,0.10531226569948858,0.1076845043099415,0.0,0.23783149453251,0.0,0.09079939380559776,0.10618053845422208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167138729814844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853123235663812,0.09385512236550604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376537769300532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896810718033449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22215033825681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222494766494964,0.0,0.0,0.057022726496276266,0.08457668247401666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069095618620941,0.0,0.18324056869878214,0.0,0.0,0.2321574993535135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281870843726861,0.0,0.0,0.07693530057601175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736992801115772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887664951446582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904882650524972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992824683958655,0.1212876414315025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647008203547669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886088322090487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268175504902388,0.0,0.0,0.11721709526723012,0.10650617665025393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15975607615122833,0.20523878566641315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286133560829845,0.2602391990933321,0.0,0.10847047205806322,0.0,0.0,0.11774343801858927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786451397638685,0.06648398720616283,0.10194178542649716,0.0823723245270668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914529056732142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135656616418942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283944213060748,0.08235833326016953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344317074476885,0.0,0.1336336015661448
mentalhealth,Timbukt99,2019/01/21,"Need help Hey everyone,
When I was a child, once the insulation panels (glass wool) fell off the wall and I touched them in order to fix them again. Sadly (as stupid as kids are) I imagined inadvertent that the material is attacking my skin (although of course it does not in fact)
Ever since I feel like my skin feels uncomfortable, it sometimes scratches and it pricks.
It is an anxiety order, so especially when I just think about it I feel some paresthesia. Its stuck in my mind somehow and I need to make my subconsciousness clear that insulation panels are totally fine.

Despite that Im in perfect health so I can exclude any organical issues.

I will start by doing an exposion therapy. Any other ideas how i can treat that irrational anxiety?",4.363829309376754,7.014060284671532,5.401751824817518,75.10488489612578,73.8905109489051,9.178888265019653,29.51656372824256,9.661875296680813,3.2911183604716454,597,26,103,17,13,196,93,137,0.159,0.732,0.109,-0.6581,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,1,10,8,3,0,6,0,9,4,3,2,5,23,18,11,0,2,2,0,7,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,11,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,7,16,4,12,15,2,14,0,1,0,0,6,6,1,2,6,70,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729876098063245,0.0,0.3070944758582368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22834349666273845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564797832419182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815591691522334,0.0,0.1917927985929017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304464215138498,0.14339159468863394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133517878374213,0.0,0.0,0.13453574534320525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265840025825176,0.21680778984416035,0.2094954208985132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805972925866553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339795298687961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20266600474827973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29765683319148745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21375605520370008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660344005025894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19851331746333276,0.0,0.14206786165537744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22953630930056185,0.0,0.0,0.1286107478723498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blomsterhagens,2019/01/21,"What is the most effective way to regain energy? Hi, I'm really struggling with burnout. Just returned from a 12-day vacation and all the feelings of burnout came back as soon as I reached the office. I know what I would really want to be doing but I can't afford to stop working right now. Honestly, I'm a little scared. Do you have any advice?",2.336407563025208,4.759318985294119,3.989747899159663,83.76029411764709,79.73529411764707,7.4151260504201675,24.420168067226893,8.418075326091056,1.911434453781512,273,10,51,6,7,91,53,68,0.079,0.735,0.18600000000000005,0.6681,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,4,4,3,0,2,5,0,7,0,0,1,1,13,13,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,5,1,8,10,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,35,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27669431672057715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192554085304588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177275584540535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238521635748959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261057858215854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431709141074591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561375490588006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837941875457338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36279075694908697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418115362964203,0.0,0.0,0.28348604348679185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367289993125628,0.0,0.2960135105863596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670112667008883,0.2247540634038559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206139115585812,0.0,0.0,0.2011441176883504,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Desiibellee,2019/01/21,"Mind traps and how to get out of them Mind trap masterpost
This is a translation of what my therapist gave me a few months ago and it has helped me a lot with stopping. Thinking. And then, reconsidering how I am feeling or what I am thinking before I either act on it or let it bury me. Overthinking, overanalyzing and reading into situations from a biased perspective is something I am highly guilty for, but I know I'm not the only one and thought I'd share what helped me, hoping that it will help someone else :)

List of mind-traps
There are several mind-traps people fall into, sometimes without realizing it before its too late. Here are 7 of them:

1. *All or nothing mindset*
You look at things as ""black"" or ""white"". If your accomplishments aren't perfect, you look at yourself as a failure. You collect all negative experiences.
""I'm ugly if I'm not as pretty or prettier than the prettiest""
""my speech was total crap because I stumbled on some words""
""I am stupid because I didn't complete this test we'll enough""

2. *overgeneralizing*
You look at a negative occurance as a pattern that never ends.
""she doesn't wanna see me, no one will""
""I will be lonely my entire life""
""I will die alone""
""I will never be capable of....""

3. *Disqualifying the positive*
You reject positive esperiences by saying they don't count. This way you maintain your negative assumptions which otherwise would be contradicted by daily experiences. 
""but that assignment was easy"" 
""I must've had a good day"" 
""I was lucky, wait until next time and you'll see"" 

4. *Reading minds*
You randomly conclude that people think negatively of you, and you don't care about figuring out if it's really true. 
""he doesn't like me"" 
""they think I'm boring"" 
""they aren't really interested in what I'm saying"" 

5. *interpreting fate*
You have a presumption that things will go wrong and you feel convinced that your presumptions are facts. 
""I won't be able to do, say, write, eat something at all"" 
""my voice will Crack and everyone will hear it"" 
""I will panic"" 

6. Emotional reasoning 
You assume that your negative emotions reflect things as they really are.
""it feels like this thus it must be true"" 
""I am so nervous that others probably think bad things about me"" 
""I feel stupid so I probably look stupid"" 
""I feel so anxious, this will probably not go very well"" 

7. Shall-statements
You give yourself requirements that you ""shall, must, will, have to"". You can't live up to your standards which are too high, and you often feel hurt, inadequate or guilty. 
""I have to always be perfect"" 
""I must always be capable of saying the right things"" 
""I must always have control""


Whenever you realize you are falling into one of these mind-traps, ask yourself the following questions to start unwinding the cluster of thoughts that are overpowering you or sending you into a spiral. 

Testing of the negative automatic thought:

1. What kind of proof do I have for this thought to be correct?
2. What kind of mind-trap do I fall into?
3. Am I taking hasty decisions?
4. Which alternative viewpoints are there to this?
5. What would someone else, who know me well, say?
6. What would I have told my best friend, if he/she were thinking like this?
7. What speaks against my way of thinking?
8. What have I experienced from similar occurances in the past?
9. What is the worst that could happen?
10. What is the best that could happen?
11. What is the most realistic result? 




I hope this will help you reflect and stop yourself from falling into the depths of your own imagination. 
In my experience it felt silly and worthless at first, but after I did it a few times I would start noticing that I was spiraling earlier in the process which helped me guide my thoughts to a more productive and logical rather than emotional direction.  I hope this can assist you to do the same :) 





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mentalhealth,Zippete32,2019/01/21,"How can I improve my mental health? I would like to improve my mental health and get to a better place. 

I've always suffered from some sort of social anxiety. I don't know if I can actually call it that, because I've never been diagnosed, but I do get very nervous in social situations, like talking in front of a crowd or just even in class; I'm not good at making friends or small talking or talking to anyone I don't know; I'm constantly afraid of what people are going to think of me.   
I've had three anxiety attacks in my life, two of those were school related and one was during an overall bad and overwhelming week.  
I go through periods where I have no will to do anything and spend my days using my phone or just laying in bed. They can last from a few days to a few weeks.   
I've never planned or seriously taken into consideration suicide, but I do think often about it. I would never have the courage to do it.

I've talked about all this only with my boyfriend, since he's the only support system I have (which is bad, I know). He's understanding and supportive, but of course he doesn't really know how to help me.

I hoped things would change after finishing high school (school was really bad for me, I've always been good and got the best grades, and I've always suffered from the pressure and expectations that come with it - mostly from myself), but now I've started university and, although I like what I'm studying, I don't like going there because I spend the whole day by myself and it is really tiring and disheartening. 

Seeking professional help is unfortunately not an option because I go to an expensive school and I don't want my parents to pay for that as well. Moreover, I would have to talk to them about this, and I don't feel comfortable enough to do it.

So, my question is: is there a way for me to improve my mental health? As in actual, concrete steps I can take to feel better.",7.307527151211362,6.169188031746034,7.746196045669732,74.9608897243108,64.18518518518519,10.60339738234475,33.65135059871902,9.682069395223575,2.9720613756613767,1508,52,294,25,19,499,177,378,0.16,0.705,0.135,-0.9161,1,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,2,4,15,28,1,4,13,0,36,6,0,4,4,62,65,29,1,8,14,1,2,4,1,5,6,0,1,0,16,17,0,0,11,0,4,7,12,12,1,3,8,2,38,16,46,52,8,36,0,4,0,0,20,12,0,13,19,202,54,8,0.0,0.0,0.15133239704532442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935542382432866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863317885909208,0.0,0.0,0.05421658419066014,0.0,0.06380741653350203,0.0,0.0,0.08821101325640981,0.0,0.0,0.19422373224569756,0.1417998891530505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137166508182984,0.13715265553094355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791752764864142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202524317692036,0.0667923821732977,0.0,0.0837913593672187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001737221535896,0.0,0.0,0.0786997451990406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080117794113195,0.0,0.05121331773483875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841139134740259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05990590042060821,0.0,0.08102112590138663,0.0,0.17626721746561294,0.130070899259694,0.06201446402801032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472587701457834,0.0,0.0,0.10394457989279814,0.08192347408296792,0.0,0.07701303016815435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045209372352596,0.06320406570188906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476759636541998,0.15152519259757166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05175741923055385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23442111613278174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940695767042086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254196070134822,0.11794274661648528,0.0,0.0,0.08609710924780656,0.0,0.0,0.05375529619612245,0.0,0.08101102326574483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686064463836564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901906681445787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138916081257568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414048535564859,0.08715630110296667,0.0,0.1580810702029622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05488200982707155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481431831487768,0.17597909435096326,0.0,0.0,0.058299153963637815,0.3116117535605954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151300301947595,0.0993668271817781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911887275233998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574365510408106,0.0807201077760645,0.0,0.0669681981869608,0.0,0.06397722029871274,0.045734099954407255,0.06154629567165878,0.12439309897596185,0.0,0.06971624621559687,0.0,0.0,0.08656874605181117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203239425774894,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zzzftw,2019/01/21,"just looking to vent 2019 hasn't been kind to me so far.

first of all, I lost one of my closest friendships. I am not really sure why it went sour, and I am not placing blame on either party, but... i guess it wasnt meant to be.

also, there has been shit tons of work to catch up on after the holidays. preparing for finals at the end of the year (A Levels for you uk peeps), and feeling fucking unprepared.

and lets not get started on love... really have eyes for someone but felt like we have only drifted further apart recently. really hoping this changes.

I know it will get better. I know it will. I am not thinking of doing anything rash or stupid that will harm myself or my loved ones. I am also trying to remind myself of how far I have come. I have found a couple of true constants in my life I can always depend on. 

It's just tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel rn. Just tough.",2.0592934782608694,3.771697429347828,3.645,89.41250000000002,77.42391304347827,6.121739130434783,21.282608695652172,6.9077264865688965,0.4758434782608694,693,18,145,7,16,230,116,184,0.118,0.741,0.141,0.6888,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,1,0,4,8,15,3,0,8,0,20,7,3,2,3,31,40,11,0,1,12,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,1,0,4,6,7,0,3,8,7,19,8,26,27,3,28,0,1,3,3,4,15,2,5,10,105,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23778443065870786,0.1237062549764334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234363779458092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148749567405296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727429798040105,0.12806697804097206,0.0,0.16066062971466827,0.0,0.0,0.16450173106001212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633569120340404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517256913966179,0.0,0.1427475591829123,0.16286190987635474,0.0,0.12645955147131374,0.0,0.1630101742478828,0.0,0.13744402516632725,0.15534901457393874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377796471615455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766393595341334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481805998840373,0.16341148371749067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202626021492532,0.10501078615356063,0.07263318391122288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484627011727807,0.0,0.1622920548022869,0.0,0.268362922783969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201486753681298,0.11307106177045335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532964389161247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857275176665716,0.0,0.14679476354819884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847160859459632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526087353314446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596853037378575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523016126497536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401207409535729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526243009024828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093790969927742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781958801211916,0.13415253257670345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082343227000173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957393062740596
mentalhealth,Josh_Westbye,2019/01/21,"I don't feel alive? First off I would like to point out that this is not about depression. I am not depressed. Like all of us, I do live with anxiety, and I also have OCD. I am a 22 year old male.

For the last few months I haven't been feeling like myself. I feel distant from myself. I catch myself daydreaming a lot now when I never really used to when I was younger. I also tend to forget little things. For example, this morning I had to of plugged in my phone to let it charge but when I sat down at my desk and looked behind me I didn't remember doing so. Or bringing up the laundry and throwing it on my bedroom floor. I'm also forgetting things easily to write in this post as I'm typing it. Little things like that. It's not everything, and it's not all the time that I'm forgetting but I am aware that I am.  

My chest hurts sometimes, right above my heart. Or maybe it's my actual heart, I don't know. It's sort of like a shock feeling. Nothing too bad, it doesn't interfere with whatever I'm doing at the time it happens. I've never had a heart attack so I can't compare it to that, but it doesn't make me stop what I'm doing to hold my chest and catch my breath. My doctor had told me it's a common thing when you have anxiety or you're feeling nervous. I don't know if that's the case though.

My head seems to hurt sometimes as well. Not like a headache or a migraine, but almost as if someone knocks on my head. Not really hard, but enough for it to be annoying.

I feel nervous about going to work as well and I don't know why. It's a slow time at the place I work and I'm only working part time there so I don't have many shifts right now, and when I do have to go in I'm nervous. I've been there a year so I don't know why I would feel nervous about it.

It may be worth mentioning that I've had an ingrown toenail in my big toe for quite some time now, I've got it taken out once and a few months later it grew back in. I haven't been back to the foot doctor since. I know I should, but I've been busy lately. I don't know if that would have anything to do with how I'm feeling.

Like I said, I feel distant from myself, but it doesn't feel like I'm watching myself or anything like that. Whatever actions I make I know it's me making them. If I walk or move my leg or my arm or whatever it is I'm doing I know, in my mind, it is me.

Lastly I just wanted to say thank you to anyone who reads this post, and maybe at least someone has a clue to what it is I'm going through.",0.7730769230769212,2.3064780659340656,2.7817216117216157,94.96565934065936,80.61172161172159,5.84908424908425,20.300366300366303,6.68642624312137,0.0822432234432231,1928,50,462,19,49,649,207,546,0.084,0.821,0.095,0.8203,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,1,2,1,5,28,24,2,4,19,0,52,16,13,5,4,88,100,47,0,9,26,0,11,9,0,5,3,2,1,1,43,15,0,3,20,1,1,11,22,12,2,1,15,15,67,12,55,77,9,68,0,4,2,0,12,25,0,18,39,308,110,8,0.0,0.0,0.06617470978298222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679039018301563,0.0,0.0,0.16268764599449914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375195708136163,0.0,0.0,0.04741571262057009,0.0,0.1116069619869096,0.0,0.0,0.07714591608771543,0.0,0.10428645256735897,0.0566201701916577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681271677831473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881686846810729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006790188231153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094503443640883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3428777424664816,0.14533467464420485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576808349349479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561733165979547,0.0,0.05423543457349293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996590932599422,0.0,0.06074621380593132,0.0,0.13918930899831622,0.0,0.0,0.2410725658510388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518825268279348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981415230124913,0.1105516277172132,0.07649486631127259,0.0,0.0,0.06934234321733868,0.0,0.2981655698533763,0.13593083617215085,0.05987922007848215,0.0,0.0569449837129319,0.0,0.0,0.05765131980567378,0.0,0.0,0.1357950682168434,0.06875070348027226,0.1362524954752457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847076805185252,0.0,0.10825374979670237,0.0720734022289464,0.0,0.0,0.104601557795384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506742301964716,0.0,0.07115726505303949,0.07221754479104746,0.0,0.051574065968281436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343376533255842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084908530494614,0.0,0.06410423918961232,0.0,0.12989026237822265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212638710723254,0.06783033016600082,0.0,0.08688418070519828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681775337043781,0.11582211957582053,0.06450472108356409,0.05392680769807859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061733479097911687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609477001118848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149137399737896,0.0,0.13413556291414475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056693851098637324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243215969551759,0.0,0.0,0.18020506336618705,0.0,0.06662492534369871,0.0,0.19770855224222555,0.0,0.0,0.06479725222185644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156946160667315,0.05856777750482722,0.0,0.0,0.0399972623279386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194222653049805,0.0,0.12237952764552315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810378566078725,0.0,0.0,0.14451505338220236,0.0,0.0,0.08733738270822734
mentalhealth,xZatanna_,2019/01/21,"I believe smoking weed may have triggered depression? I don’t know what to do... I occasionally smoked weed roughly 1-3 times a month since July up until November 2018.  It’s now January and I feel I’m getting worse, I either sleep too much or too less, I cry for no reason (sometimes I’ll cry and laugh hysterically), I think about what it’s like to die and have thoughts on how to go about it in the future, socially isolated myself from friends and family.  Majority of the time my mind is empty and I have lack of thoughts, I’ll stare at something thinking of nothing and I’ll loose track of time.   I have more symptoms I guess but I don’t have enough strength to continue typing..

Sorry this post is all over the place and I can’t string a coherent paragraph.  (I’m a 21 year old female btw can someone give me advice)",2.6181910569105686,4.689771591463416,4.071560975609756,85.34498373983743,76.98780487804878,7.056260162601626,26.786991869918694,8.021203637495839,1.7150655284552845,647,26,130,11,15,214,110,164,0.119,0.8029999999999999,0.078,-0.3387,1,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,6,0,13,2,1,3,1,24,25,11,1,1,3,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,3,15,4,18,22,8,18,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,3,11,79,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798666251174312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18215204224784026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551841704063664,0.0,0.0,0.13925019703485125,0.0,0.16779283132542305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670532012614195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241253471097715,0.0,0.08174759480670883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249094854704972,0.0,0.08446836686809148,0.15509312071455272,0.09188346758982917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810292838348366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885219642341882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898610032689543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324537610819562,0.0,0.12904721681595815,0.0,0.11884951968599368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551312515610957,0.0,0.16965041910464904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168915668782463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483968807438753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622853618536312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373899678245893,0.0,0.1617914767643925,0.1648070140256568,0.13698646324380714,0.12446509602579725,0.1599004293395805,0.18098160942054986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804193533222206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20718926130758766,0.0,0.2567033324585238,0.2828214832888739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476034910178847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411321717402768
mentalhealth,firecrest12,2019/01/21,"What is your mental health “routine”? Like the title says, what do you do regularly that helps you keep on top of your mental health? ",4.413599999999999,6.29239376,4.388999999999999,85.85950000000003,71.4,6.6000000000000005,20.5,7.1686216300943375,0.4106000000000001,104,2,20,1,2,32,19,25,0.0,0.752,0.248,0.7399,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,13,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.650144177193861,0.0,0.0,0.20498452894609265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718266412906942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940808005628015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6163887476070301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432001362574031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,indianmango,2019/01/21,"Any career advice for an albino with non-existent self-esteem? Hi there. This is my first time posting on reddit and I just finally got around creating an account. I'm writing this on mobile so forgive me for any errors. This would be a pretty long post so I'll thank you now if you do decide to stick around untill the end. 

I'm turning 23 in a couple of months. I'm an albino, and I don't have many friends. I live in the PH. I've been bullied a lot growing up and now as an adult, I struggle to keep eye contact and make genuine connections with new folks. As you might have already guessed, I got an incredibly low self esteem which I think has been the root of all my insecurities in life. 

My mother is diabetic. What little is left from my salary, I send back home for her insulin and other meds. She already lost viision on her left eye, and I fear that the other one will go next soon. She is also losing strength in her legs, and she now relies on her cane to get around.

I quit my first real job  (outsourcing industry in this country is really big) writing product descriptions for ecommerce sites last December. I couldn't stand the office politics, commute (traffic in Manila is hell), and my immediate head was a total ass (demanded more workload with the same pay, and took all the credit for the team's performance).  

I went back home to try my hand at remote, home-based jobs. That way, I can escape the commute and be much closer to family. I just finished my first ever online interview a few hours ago. The company does web development, branding, ecommerce sites/dropshipping, and most of the products that they deal with are adult toys. They'd pay around 600 USD for a month of 40-hour workweeks. That is really beyond entry level pay in my country, with new graduates earning as low as 250 USD a month. 

Problem is that we are talking about sex toys here. I know I can learn as much as I need about these things to write a half decent shopify product description of a fucking butt plug. I know these things are perfectly fine and are not at all taboo in the western cultures, but in here, it is like I'd be crucifying Christ himself if I do take on the job. And I don't think I will live to take on more pressure in my life right now.

Now I've dealt with a lot of pain and frustration and loneliness my entire life, but nothing comes close to the horror of just thinking of the day she goes blind. There is so much anger and sadness inside of me. I see my classmates and friends living their lives, going on vacations, buying stuff without ever worrying about a thing in the world and I fall deeper down the hole of envy and self-loathing.

I'm a mess. I need some input, people. How can I stop feeling the way that I do? How do I force myself to get it together? If you were in my shoes, what would you do to turn your life around? 

Should just take the job and completely disregard what this will do to my self-worth?",4.60240484429066,5.630346359861593,5.234427335640138,83.27136418685122,69.83044982698961,8.271349480968858,28.290830449826988,8.548686976883017,1.9672510726643608,2308,80,455,36,40,744,294,578,0.13,0.8220000000000001,0.048,-0.9936,5,0,0,0,0,0,70.0,1,6,3,11,33,25,4,4,36,0,44,18,8,4,7,87,77,38,0,10,11,1,2,1,2,7,8,0,2,3,25,34,0,4,9,3,6,8,5,16,0,5,9,6,62,9,74,56,15,84,3,5,4,4,37,41,4,9,31,310,87,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675062352537895,0.06123711951607635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246764541249225,0.05524493586162965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939564031217638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074886066145317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062397519142068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950811807372755,0.07243127465390514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643803722861292,0.0,0.044552243875853534,0.07122061874158771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045421721029425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118624198284785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497744127964105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512446215553683,0.07773657613630157,0.03492998889094806,0.0,0.0,0.07567607130961028,0.0,0.17628361429980804,0.0,0.0,0.10674532872006744,0.06386529457663544,0.07218509910451389,0.0,0.07852190660198173,0.0,0.1105025431817314,0.0,0.07610172904279562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089817178094025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20788495723976053,0.0,0.13606391936497494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27421332588149816,0.0614033506686381,0.0,0.0,0.07593143850518888,0.05631113732055638,0.0,0.0,0.1501158223729843,0.0,0.1951789401774381,0.03375002791802437,0.06923841954971255,0.24400306384360654,0.061135490644539915,0.0,0.0772852070079063,0.07541128015461253,0.11746227362993884,0.0,0.0,0.046112842730656994,0.07003841344544351,0.0,0.0,0.07673464722576566,0.0,0.0,0.07328519837636605,0.0,0.0,0.16542203573502282,0.0,0.15234989159530266,0.10244701373490347,0.0,0.13343985848041345,0.07346960431763508,0.0,0.0,0.06628614464413868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681182343711893,0.0,0.07350823230230821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789283461738696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323231245421878,0.07028133809700814,0.0,0.0661022464800619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347732408282921,0.0,0.07863056155388068,0.0885115331488271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058995741762166966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055049495041385184,0.0,0.2882708146246996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775573458968551,0.0,0.0722196173769724,0.07908248455442943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582344085281905,0.055525580674553335,0.0,0.06360152248189473,0.0,0.0,0.13768524641306007,0.13279507390235484,0.0,0.0,0.04028233202766995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675276253230914,0.04690221585909657,0.1502829895777016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096683217654068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403980512192482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659268576935365,0.0,0.0,0.07015623279634367,0.0,0.0981478932384295,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Littlewunder,2019/01/21,"Being told you're worthless I was basically told I was completely worthless by my significant other. I will spare you the details. I already suffer from anxiety and depression, and see a therapist... I won't be seeing her until Thursday though.

Now all I can think about is what a worthless person I am. My significant other has a habit of blowing up in a rage when I do something to upset him... And I am the opposite. I just keep my mouth shut. We have a child together and she was definitely present for this blowout this morning.

I wouldn't say I'm suicidal at the moment (I'm a counselor myself so I know what signs to look out for). But I'm definitely questioning my worth here in this world now. ",2.509134515119918,4.952594058394165,4.419129301355579,80.8090693430657,79.21897810218978,7.70990615224192,28.03388946819604,8.634040054169528,2.481755370177268,554,25,104,13,14,188,90,137,0.183,0.7120000000000001,0.105,-0.8936,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,1,1,0,0,8,7,1,1,9,0,15,1,1,0,1,15,26,9,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,7,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,5,4,22,0,14,16,1,14,0,5,3,0,11,7,0,1,7,80,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25453274098061834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644989801427835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418366312472472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19866219917317726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050161279633952,0.0,0.0,0.1267615638520476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936915090804898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20139842641563527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25838558884270274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342554658703286,0.0,0.0,0.36760320721355294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775689386679796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25229835296896364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678074045625873,0.0,0.14779395351997188,0.2266166656092201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4408001108715852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,allshallbefree,2019/01/21,"Is it the smartphones? I always do worse on weekends but I have REALLY struggled this past weekend. Last night I just balled up on my bed and cried. I felt this deep emptiness inside of me and I don’t know how to fill it. Then I got to thinking... could it have anything to do with smartphones/the internet? 

I may sound crazy but it seems like depression and anxiety has gotten WAY more common over the years. I wonder if it is because our society has changed so much. We are glued to a reality that doesn’t have face to face interaction as much as our society once did. Maybe it is affecting us. I am thinking about getting rid of my smartphone and getting an old school flip phone again. Maybe that way I wouldn’t be glued to Facebook, reddit, Instagram, or whatever else. I know I could just... get off the phone and go do something. But when the option is there it seems so much easier to just scroll. Maybe I’m addicted to my phone. Idk I’m just thinking out loud here. Anyone have any thoughts on this? ",2.5967384370015942,4.849720348484852,3.37320042530569,89.43944976076557,77.83838383838383,6.7946836788942075,25.067517278043603,7.85451343220497,1.3785616161616168,791,29,161,13,19,250,118,198,0.13,0.8340000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.9578,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,4,0,0,0,12,3,0,1,6,0,23,3,2,2,0,34,41,17,0,4,9,0,1,1,0,2,1,2,1,0,12,8,0,0,10,3,0,2,3,2,0,0,5,3,20,1,21,31,4,23,0,1,0,0,8,8,0,7,12,108,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036122461652113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476664575628495,0.0,0.0,0.09379536158713027,0.0,0.10551408331304507,0.0,0.0,0.09644204490274616,0.0,0.11350249784847802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407926271422307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590890045393148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22024761095026504,0.0,0.15150677209411376,0.0,0.0,0.11879666732941475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152206440645358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243193370004278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161841209354166,0.0,0.07838731983704202,0.0,0.1103131415173038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160258361945347,0.11242923975110512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673843605537847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156998353653617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041775269200675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943552124165505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473160419031014,0.146888179309632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166730990714245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835982413637608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395898921767301,0.0,0.2511278491501857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618325087898928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419166550636595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26513492555731705,0.0,0.10949894879069744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659096793907685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21896069991758488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957638147987715,0.0,0.0,0.14055980385022165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882072333529673
mentalhealth,michaelai91,2019/01/21,"Worried about my boyfriends little sister So my boyfriends youngest sister (we’ll name her Emily) is 23 and currently doing a uni course. Because this course takes up a lot of her time, she’s unable to get a job so her parents give her money for travel and food. 
When Emily does get the odd free night, she’ll go on a mad one and spend all of whatever’s in her purse on a night out, buying endless rounds of drink for herself and whoever is with her, which then angers her parents as she’s wasted her money and they end up having to replace the money she needed for food and travel. 
To my knowledge, Emily was diagnosed with depression a couple years ago but is no longer taking medication for it. From my point of view, her family (older brother, older sister, mum, dad) don’t really have an understanding of mental health, and I’ve tried helping my boyfriend understand Emily’s depression and how to talk to her about it, but I’m pretty certain he and his family still think Emily is faking it and aren’t being as careful with their words as I perhaps would be. The family also mentioned that Emily does lie a lot, of which I’ve seen her get caught out on in the past. 

Anyway, everything seemed fine with Emily until this past weekend, of which she had her birthday. Her parents had explained she went out on Friday night and spent every last penny on drinks for her and her friends, ended up losing her phone, then triggered a huge argument when her dad arrived at the time she wanted picking up to go home. According to the father, Emily upset the father verbally about his failed businesses etc then ended up hitting him four times in the face whilst he was driving. 
Emily apparently exaggerated a lot of what happened from her point of view and said that her dad beat her up (which her other sister, mum and dad denied). She also mentioned her dad bruised her face and neck black but I couldn’t see these bruises on Saturday when we went out for dinner with the family for her birthday. 
Anyway, Emily was being super sweet and chatty with everyone as per usual, until we were all speaking about how we don’t speak to each other much lately and we should all make the effort to just pick up the phone more. This is when Emily, for no apparent reason, turned straight to her sister and said “the only time I’ll make the effort to talk to you is when you’re six feet under”. It completely took me by surprise as the sister wasn’t really contributing much to the conversation anyway, and before this episode, Emily was always the peacemaker and would always be the one introducing people to others and sparking up conversations. My boyfriend didn’t seem too phased by it, and said to me “see what I mean now?”.

Last night (Sunday) the Dad drove Emily to the train station so she could head back to her place, and during the drive he told her that he was worried and that she should tell him if she wanted to talk to a professional. He also asked Emily to apologise for her behaviour that weekend, to which Emily told him if he asks her to apologise again she’ll call the police. She also told the family that I and a random friend of my boyfriend and I also hate the family (which we obviously do not). 

Emily is coming up to stay with my boyfriend and I on Tuesday, and I’m hoping to try talk to her about this all. Any help or pointers in the right direction as to how to start tackling this would truly be appreciated!
",9.797066869300913,7.254865803951367,9.266489361702133,70.48250000000002,60.41337386018238,11.831610942249243,35.506079027355625,9.957137785484203,3.3376650455927064,2721,79,493,40,28,875,282,658,0.071,0.831,0.097,0.9688,8,0,2,0,0,0,59.0,6,1,2,6,30,19,3,1,36,0,39,13,5,9,6,94,86,61,0,13,8,20,1,0,2,8,3,5,1,0,29,46,5,0,9,6,7,12,9,9,0,4,23,13,74,11,96,47,12,89,0,4,7,0,113,33,0,10,43,352,103,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578368296158672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260886858152249,0.10858014918867308,0.0,0.0,0.044369661094579904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199280001109518,0.0,0.0,0.05017030910705123,0.0,0.039773484835353534,0.0,0.05551972023411988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662367673507254,0.0,0.06652286088635767,0.0,0.0,0.05620383376928001,0.06840941122186876,0.0,0.0,0.052093790617120515,0.07219369183754618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239293243035847,0.06622353108136171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141947984484965,0.0,0.0,0.1278328952291488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17336633141936858,0.0,0.0727667726937085,0.0,0.0,0.05497274709434291,0.062345550993947826,0.05863908764639545,0.0,0.3690499276857017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577919554636736,0.0,0.10081812205179716,0.0,0.10226535745079146,0.06259011121011725,0.07416185100051292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05769700920313368,0.0,0.0,0.06441712572679976,0.06696143636041257,0.06935367159692818,0.0,0.0,0.08746632025123402,0.0,0.0654472698182209,0.06480420977363964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474679709275398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636874106495844,0.07360056830891389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539384455072808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299382114747949,0.0,0.16640998694697667,0.0,0.0,0.08710470542025173,0.0,0.0,0.0710722517242705,0.0,0.06572869366874967,0.0657528349513048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592694531057126,0.04837923897191552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24491659774700564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842504276935922,0.04962268382587595,0.0,0.0,0.2173445889513637,0.0,0.12456978296070716,0.04523350767436941,0.0,0.06816840389512939,0.0,0.12335751829847272,0.0,0.0,0.0663788533623742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359678740970114,0.06708397199180623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055719907979414014,0.18619226463013008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398556595439687,0.11879540064306753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046181604202131236,0.06954377999666547,0.0521057086527571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981140618629379,0.2097697327486573,0.05702806454849797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041807137695847325,0.0,0.0,0.1521823620983677,0.0,0.0,0.1870366529818435,0.07249094151077583,0.08859578924306014,0.07096914200942145,0.0,0.1358472140584323,0.0,0.0,0.07185948386834744,0.0,0.07696781183087524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096778315961595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252138947090786,0.0,0.13904710957780575,0.0,0.0,0.042016420917591515
mentalhealth,Lynx34,2019/01/21,"I don't know if I'm in a dream or not Two weeks after a stressful night of overthinking, I am completely losing touch with reality and being left with my imagination. If I try to focus on one thing, it turns into imagining. So if I try to study one thing, I start to imagine myself learning from the outside. I have no sense of reality or myself. I feel like I am stuck in a dream, or a trance. I never really know if I even fell asleep or I just imagined things for the whole night without actually sleeping. It's like I never even fell asleep, just continued to dream into the day, like I didn't fully wake up. I can still talk to people like I did, but instead of actually percieving things that are happening around me, I just dream and talk to myself about everything. Is it possible that I actually don't fall deep asleep and that the dreams continue into the day, leaving the actual mind asleep not being able to protest these dreams? ",5.9209287469287455,6.0864882378378375,6.851253071253072,75.89751842751845,66.62162162162161,10.402948402948404,30.33169533169533,10.230975488527342,2.9225135135135134,744,25,144,17,11,249,101,185,0.055,0.8240000000000001,0.121,0.8557,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,1,1,10,0,12,6,6,0,2,35,20,13,0,4,15,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,9,0,0,8,6,0,3,9,3,0,3,3,2,22,4,25,15,1,25,0,1,0,0,2,10,0,8,16,109,33,1,0.12569714402263954,0.0,0.4906491221403376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189710752223052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179106401949536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212851845865492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604355629790882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129684880489137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355625279444121,0.08979806480525063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115356933802717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381597261810743,0.0,0.0,0.13309512628514744,0.13657031476547754,0.0,0.0,0.24563710144589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062295207709394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691828323497836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938907729067794,0.0,0.0,0.23591650941438164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035127571479322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714257291887717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417046435425886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052480912022608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578792099678754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896908549887403,0.0,0.10038190158610014,0.0,0.1439856537916147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20206120608441275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340303887838183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17068021962827962,0.13672239785309495,0.12278784520074475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082666700011396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033637239747696,0.0,0.12116756132477985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrakVader,2019/01/21,"Taking anti-depressants when you have a bar job Hi all. I have been on anti depressants since my breakdown 5 years ago and recently started working in a bar so I often don't go to sleep until 5am and get up again around 1pm.

I haven't always been great at taking my meds, even having an app to remind me but I still do not take them regularly.

Does anyone have any tips for ensuring I remember to take my meds on time?",2.5182142857142837,3.8951036136363655,4.599220779220778,84.47954545454547,75.36363636363636,7.755844155844157,22.798701298701296,8.418075326091056,1.3087610389610391,330,9,69,6,7,114,64,88,0.071,0.8959999999999999,0.033,-0.2375,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,1,7,2,0,0,3,0,9,3,1,0,1,8,16,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,11,1,11,14,1,16,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,1,9,45,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604161807557624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505789040860505,0.0,0.0,0.1230636537564876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653621906936247,0.0,0.0,0.16109885079119315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311732940483865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836529725910356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952688810817386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454770241750476,0.0,0.10284762299640636,0.0,0.0,0.19951657500662925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958166059189445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020267163731149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868291805349412,0.0,0.20500014724404045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496976363843988,0.0,0.18109752758327535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808925759733802,0.0,0.14452034859384205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5442581547785661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552321707617078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317460115478344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653670883055192
mentalhealth,roastedshane420,2019/01/21,"The fight It will get better 

It will be ok 

It can start now 

You should start today

There's a lot you can do 

There's a lot you can say

I know we're sick 

For your pains i pray 

If nothing else you wake up today 

For those who's days between they have lost count 

I have a few words 

I love you 

Stay strong 

Today you are alive 

Even if you wish you weren't 

Pass on love and a smile 

Because for many the steps to the shower feel like a mile 

I'm not ok 

But today 

I hope I make someone smile",-1.3589740259740282,0.5853951545454592,0.3470129870129881,106.56909090909092,92.9090909090909,3.1428571428571432,11.49350649350649,3.1291,-2.062376623376624,377,4,100,0,14,120,71,110,0.08900000000000001,0.613,0.298,0.975,1,0,0,0,1,0,0.0,0,9,1,3,4,11,1,0,8,2,12,5,1,1,0,14,24,4,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,2,16,8,7,18,3,14,1,1,0,2,15,3,0,5,9,60,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114168565972502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674042613109636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700297436570587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860266833090326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958685471900276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389280495742261,0.11853139864343575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668497517868579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647933803508792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118384464048772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105884368512141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18111840336828552,0.2821140207704316,0.2994937993550751,0.0,0.11075112944676097,0.16821416625839758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15920218644705378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17654777430806898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319441480116954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058124486589446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348743297103288,0.17684583498601775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6290810469049917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907967813746548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Glocklick,2019/01/21,"Why I wish i had a mental disorder. Oh yes passive agressive title. I did what people suggested me to. My family. My ex. Strangers online. ""please seek out professional help, OP"". Well, they won't help me. I have such an intense fear of abandonment. And uncontrollable mood swings. And unstable self image. The psychiatrist tested me for borderline personality disorder. I fit a lot of the symptoms, but not enough to qualify for a diagnosis. I know that NOT having BPD is good, because BPD is bad. But if I would've had it, they would have helped me and given me treatment. 

I self harm. I hate myself. I engage in certain risk taking/self destructive relations with men (seeking out men who tell me to hurt myself is one example). I'm sad a lot. I have no friends whatsoever. I'm diagnosed with social phobia. But the psychiatrist isn't offering a treatment plan for these things. She is talking about discharging me. She knows I struggle with all of these problems.

I actually wish I had a serious mental disorder so that psychiatrists would do.... something. ",2.942656249999999,5.979161036458333,4.613533333333333,75.66480000000001,84.46875,8.280333333333335,27.9925,8.841846274778883,3.1958147500000003,837,39,139,25,25,280,120,192,0.269,0.589,0.14300000000000002,-0.9866,0,0,1,0,0,2,39.0,0,0,2,1,4,19,2,4,10,1,17,2,0,0,2,26,25,8,0,6,6,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,8,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,13,1,1,5,0,29,5,16,17,4,4,0,3,0,0,20,4,0,3,0,98,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.11598082595042855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923510244046517,0.07245008817124762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299375784674874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063063334071485,0.0,0.0,0.4086384946226367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280421266031655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204156031380008,0.13373971923118982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182350832657916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996860594479058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173401440171669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389887122205504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723178930193296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063412065767704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20208468492335907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395464571159286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053609297382898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239588843846754,0.10377556704552053,0.0,0.1304620265151404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372376202025745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719605981506242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115299464777556,0.0,0.09149682858947232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242482217642956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353105122538735,0.0,0.09552743301355343,0.10388047016442818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895891103339038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068607644644215,0.0,0.10724398144169264,0.0,0.2733441417990616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532836986895019,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Karlosios,2019/01/21,"It isn't even the end of January and my mental health is in a better place than it was last year Last year was an awful year for me. It was filled with a lot of stress on my shoulders and it definitely got me down. I was stuck in a relationship that people considered emotionally abusive, only to have been cheated on. Since that break up I became very suicidal and felt useless to everyone around me. I'm glad that I pushed myself to get better. Because since then it has gone uphill for me.

It was a chance for me to finally take care of myself and not have someone stoop me down to their level. I've been keeping at it in the gym 5-6 times a week and I've been making sure that I'm talking to friends and family, as well as getting new hobbies. Everyone I know have been saying that I have been a lot more positive. I even went to Japan and it was the best holiday I've ever been to! Ive made a lot of plans for this year and I'm gonna make it a good one. Im glad that I'm able to handle my depression and not let it beat me again.",3.1551351351351333,3.6535658648648655,4.852270270270271,86.63462162162165,72.7837837837838,8.262342342342341,25.16036036036036,8.447377352677275,1.3661365765765765,810,23,184,13,15,276,118,222,0.11,0.72,0.17,0.9117,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,5,7,14,1,1,12,1,21,2,1,3,2,24,40,12,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,17,11,0,1,2,2,0,4,3,4,1,1,18,2,20,10,31,20,5,31,0,2,0,0,5,12,0,3,14,123,37,0,0.1244802117157294,0.14748869572828585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081377976444888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588198167835543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063430237689688,0.22018526297091173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126915872015405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721462394811668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400234836017509,0.11025251989582413,0.0,0.0,0.16443601167480434,0.1125994781234927,0.0,0.23789235355331784,0.0,0.0,0.11734886515045252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952052435107614,0.13636198738990232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961731027850564,0.0,0.13007154578039715,0.0,0.0,0.10440809566351114,0.0995581967928205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231664409669533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445998956456467,0.0,0.0,0.11064373169318137,0.0,0.0,0.06841106892018857,0.2029359734017173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728945027170807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174858736386509,0.0,0.11778618613102634,0.16618301584986922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254467753511971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022376416034772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435101303177864,0.09467281030298168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629890528333284,0.0,0.13005532698042654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364516196393272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899166062620383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059426349485315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547167943318222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425916619456342,0.0,0.0,0.1361611476610939,0.0,0.11732112637928095,0.0,0.09359362745673663,0.10005247895048848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258541249478714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270921128786917,0.0,0.0,0.0998505173077358,0.0,0.11192265980488247,0.11539440337435622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206447004034979
mentalhealth,firefly-v,2019/01/21,"Advice on A.S outside of uk How does one go about the process of a death with dignity(assisted suicide) process in regards to mental health problems. I’m aware that people with mental health problems have had it done, but I’m not sure how to go about it. 

Is it wise to mention to my Gp, as it’s illegal in the UK. 

Note:This isn’t a cry for help, it’s a request for relief 

Cheers ",1.9796925858951155,3.7572293924050655,3.3000361663652846,91.50405063291142,77.86075949367087,5.5269439421338165,25.20976491862568,6.18269132825596,0.6172878842676313,298,11,65,2,7,97,53,79,0.188,0.6409999999999999,0.171,0.0918,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,5,0,5,2,0,2,1,9,9,4,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,2,0,1,4,16,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,38,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133184494523936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397902939923459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19103420342840485,0.22339482383142206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481277662931164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4640815024277945,0.0,0.0,0.14632066471525207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4399864308617209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479244925169319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134046776645574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.417763742013896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387827714730842,0.0,0.205743445839017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnonGf-,2019/01/21,Called in sick to work because of anxiety My anxiety has been through the roof lately. Worked 9 hours on Saturday and was supposed to work the same shift today. The Sunday off just didn’t feel like enough time to actually rest my head and come back to reality... I went to bed last night with a sense of dread and I woke up this morning extremely anxious and just couldn’t bring myself to work. I’m sick of making shitty excuses to myself and my job for why I’m “sick”. I just can’t face work sometimes. My sick days are few and far between but when I do take them I feel an awful sense of guilt. Is it okay to take a mental health day now and then? ,3.9054145936981763,4.546648529850746,4.746517412935326,87.55113598673303,71.16417910447761,8.045107794361526,25.33665008291874,8.167268648758528,1.247183416252073,509,14,112,7,9,165,90,134,0.17600000000000002,0.794,0.03,-0.9413,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,5,6,4,0,2,6,2,9,7,2,1,0,18,20,10,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,9,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,5,2,12,2,20,14,4,22,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,15,68,14,6,0.0,0.0,0.15499929714713026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430155036265209,0.1794374704371756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213371923291055,0.0,0.09682387284938544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218750837797652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368216256898776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20486987767530795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411821948216992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062271905381778,0.11347120621979008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300974447705002,0.1688333599164575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641972261824352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761846554469874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947109742403334,0.17917193067403606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759838214177284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602308242672576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600675464361828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905516587951612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709111564153622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388471487947103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261751729027563,0.0,0.15055627879885586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472409232432622,0.1433231882123945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5781660586432149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway3849583405,2019/01/21,"I'm desperate, please help, no this is not a joke Please help me. I am getting married and I treat my fiance with utmost respect. She is my angel and the light of my life. I take care of her, provide for her, and make sure she has everything she needs. In turn, she is seven years younger than me, a very innocent, cute, petite catholic girl (I am her first) and she completely adores me. We support one another and we will be married within the year.

So here's the fucked up part. I constantly go behind my fiance's back and have the most hardcore and degrading sex with street prostitutes. I find the most worn out, desperate, drug addicted, and unwashed prostitutes that I can find. I abuse them. I pressure them into anal, oral, and vaginal sex without condoms. I fuck them hard and when they don't like it, it turns me on even more.

When I can't find streetwalkers, I go to strip clubs and watch violent and degrading porn. Not even porn. I like to watch videos of people degrading prostitutes, and even worse. I hang out on /r/watchpeopldie all the time and page through clip after clip of people being flayed alive, limbs cut off, hearts cut out while still beating, crushed in industrial machinery, etc. etc. I force myself to watch them from beginning to end, without looking away.

I honestly have no idea why I do this. I think it's because I was heavily abused all through childhood. I have been doing it since I was about thirteen, and it has become a really powerful drive. I am addicted to it.

When I was in college I discovered 4chan and it only escalated my behavior. I was terrified my first time I acted out my fantasies with a prostitute. I was a senior in college. She was addicted to Oxycontin and let me have anal sex with her after I paid her rent.

Each time it got easier and easier until it became the norm. After the initial rush wore off, I had to escalate my behavior in order to even raise my heart rate.

If my fiance knew it would destroy her completely. I love this girl and I have to deal with this problem before we get married. She is the only bright spot of wholesomeness in my life.

Please help me. I am genuinely afraid of myself and I feel like sometimes when my life is troubled this starts to spiral out of control. Please help. This is not a joke.

PS: I know what you're going to say. Yes, I even did therapy. I lied the entire way through. I was just too embarassed and ashamed to admit anything, and I wanted my therapist to think I was a good guy. I just made up some bullshit about being depressed, which was technically true, but I never told him the real reason why I was depressed.

I also have really violent fantasies about rape, voyeurism, and sex with underage girls. Nobody knows that I have this aspect of me. They all see me as such a nice guy, they don't see that I am actually a monster underneath the thin veil of humanity that I have to wear every day.

I think I am a sex addict. I think I might be kind of a Sociopath. But there's so many more aspects to it than that. Please help me. I know I am a bad person, I'm trying to stop myself, but I just can't seem to do it alone. I always end up regressing.",2.898740480036928,4.994388473344107,4.0666117585968165,85.59462338449114,76.22132471728594,7.587825986614356,25.59315139626125,8.472884824447931,1.8180036695130402,2471,90,487,49,56,805,288,619,0.156,0.758,0.085,-0.9902,2,1,1,0,2,0,86.0,3,0,7,5,24,38,8,3,24,1,52,25,5,4,6,88,92,37,0,5,12,0,3,3,0,3,8,1,1,7,26,39,0,4,16,6,2,7,12,19,0,4,20,12,103,19,73,64,13,61,2,2,7,12,41,24,2,6,31,349,129,3,0.0,0.16313311223558222,0.06717989703953431,0.30019192499907643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129958814068972,0.0,0.05505295171603102,0.057282089187442015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218687771657648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665113031673589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467935943175096,0.05293527670215137,0.057480224942590676,0.0419654664808982,0.07603062066864573,0.058579502604780835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018904429159968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435913098856815,0.07439378487352505,0.07721219769041984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044397418382048436,0.07097311678643373,0.11858709032213326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798349064383611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194722187764152,0.0,0.15355413653302122,0.2273475792132589,0.0,0.05800238488280395,0.0,0.06187078344485194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034808602125475215,0.049180764629927855,0.0,0.0,0.188761122543368,0.11711400215556925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728670687441693,0.07193424544054651,0.0,0.11737354742261658,0.057741434026772114,0.05505926542769125,0.0,0.0,0.1363288789264557,0.0,0.0,0.06166894274878215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16315628942477536,0.2307168296859927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771427972549823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168838731535396,0.11350134865461033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039564651054715,0.1458754988396728,0.10089822506298868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057809972348930816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062132625712590026,0.06513999946583303,0.04595259393002588,0.06979501982474882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303052170825383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104549776947497,0.05309522252469267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04664914557739621,0.10471494179639926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745492169205593,0.0,0.0954528001747991,0.06011021090949214,0.0,0.37783941599976784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587253160910231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835730897529733,0.0882039427642575,0.0707810791456045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474595054075085,0.0,0.0,0.10971638016183108,0.06267120450230483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056946843985662764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808653438348428,0.0,0.048726747761764735,0.0,0.05497733927470903,0.057555025055215335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812112720363118,0.06488280468794475,0.0,0.05176064394983628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872686837918308,0.0799309103744371,0.0,0.17644478907494573,0.0,0.0,0.12042703528607332,0.0,0.0,0.06578151603512596,0.0,0.04673922387262845,0.1497607344442293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680188983269551,0.04060481676256876,0.05464360423959223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423846049246068,0.0,0.0,0.13272253310180265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015591653184501,0.048903407554123965,0.0,0.0,0.0886640288606144
mentalhealth,liveforver99,2019/01/21,"The roughest period of my life I’m 19 and the past few months has felt like some sort of purgatory for me. In this space of time I’ve had a break up with my girlfriend of 3 years , had my father have an affair and watch what that did to my Mom and last week I was found to have one MDMA pill on my possession by the police. I’ve suffered depression and chronic anxiety during this period. At times I can function and from time to time I can even enjoy myself but when I’m alone the dark thoughts creep in and it seems like there’s nothing that can stop the darkness overwhelming me. I’ve been going to counseling during this and while it has helped , it isn’t a permanent solution for me. Throughout this period my Mom has been my rock and I really don’t know what I could do without her. I’m now going to have to tell her about the incident with the MDMA pill as I will probably have to go to court and pay a fine for this. I can’t lose the one person who has been there for me the last few months as I feel without her I feel like I have nobody. I have good friends but I still feel alone most of the time. I’m writing this post because I feel that I need some guidance at my darkest point , I’m just hoping someone can give me some advice.",3.087386569872958,4.077877831417627,4.2348013712442025,89.16796733212341,73.36781609195403,7.640330711837064,24.08166969147005,8.032893268588372,1.0827195402298848,978,27,217,14,19,320,132,261,0.086,0.802,0.112,0.8308,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,12,0,1,14,0,27,4,0,0,0,35,47,15,0,3,5,3,5,3,2,1,4,0,0,1,15,11,0,1,9,1,1,3,5,4,0,2,10,6,31,8,32,35,6,33,0,4,1,0,15,8,0,7,23,146,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398554846709585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628185775703574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706275949255187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734479605844949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130325838613287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928145312414517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380296287966027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25661711480796273,0.09064301029590176,0.12182458043751605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13911723743975513,0.0980270791127776,0.0,0.0,0.12171474053284727,0.21632627608682128,0.1064208220098288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504490780502907,0.0,0.0,0.12602034771204845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972986283095177,0.20684807023372573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961901021494051,0.18596129852884136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194612902413925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972003596074905,0.2025486164553863,0.0,0.0,0.09407982195263273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174466504575858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719541782111226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112120044327986,0.0,0.11078661560788984,0.0,0.0,0.11994249604438788,0.0,0.12151585042155065,0.0,0.1367979683853192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128249888224083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550667578482735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750490900830728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132643458101608,0.10607725943093822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089860595245132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072845062422782,0.3699233864255491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177538496863467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446153496182946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170648160275046
mentalhealth,JGeek1997,2019/01/21,"Some Support? Hey,

So i’ve always been up and down throughout my entire life however i always know when bad spells comes, good ones do too.

Although currently, i’m in a bad spell with no one around me anymore to help bring me put of them. I live alone and most of my friends which i tried organising stuff with to enjoy myself keep bailing me etc.
I’ve noticed most will never message or organise stuff with me only i. Ive given up with this and distanced my self. However i’m finding it very lonely and always feel quite upset.

Is there any advice? 
Thank you Reddit <3 ",3.143362831858412,5.2043247964601775,4.063017699115047,86.05930530973455,75.3716814159292,6.289911504424777,24.574336283185843,7.1686216300943375,1.1035635398230088,454,15,86,5,10,146,84,113,0.133,0.727,0.14,0.2114,3,3,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,1,5,9,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,1,19,15,8,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,5,10,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,4,0,2,2,1,15,5,13,12,4,11,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,4,3,56,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166014012864682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133967871147174,0.0,0.0,0.4129628941726131,0.0,0.0,0.1125007581710411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640660238036629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727128848583548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762608741720381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425066983875512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450258342635928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364837525857664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120363213496188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278138584835085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875814731166372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088688869765727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704529494411772,0.0,0.0,0.09091817180124477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685089051634748,0.0,0.0,0.14608120770059646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275928600112519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834764722309666,0.0,0.0,0.22420465037256865,0.12581997281865331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663068117297486,0.0,0.17595936823985997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725836884253299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3787645833522599,0.0,0.18773248464263426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523093533236429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231879188078348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650033342316464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pdxtommy,2019/01/21,"Whatever I do it doesn’t feel enough. I have parents who have high expectations of me. They are always comparing me to my cousin, to them, has accomplished so much. He’s not much older than me. Just this last year he bought a house, is engaged and has a very stable job that can support his parents and his mortgage. To them, He is the most idyllic perfect son.  It really hurts the most whenever I accomplished some thing, it’s either met with a critical comment or “your cousin did better” statement.  I’m just really fed up with my parent belittling my wins and in constant comparison.  Right now I have an interview for grad school in Chicago and if I get in I am packing , moving and not turning back. To me not being reject right away is an achievement of itself and my parents don’t see that. Its hurtful. Im trying to justify their lack of support is its a generational thing. I don’t think it’s mentally healthy to be in an environment where i am constantly being evaluated and size. I’m even contemplating of never visiting them. I feel like recently my parents aren’t supportive with my goals or decisions to how I chose to pursue my endeavors. The worst part is I feel like I don’t have a support system that can encourage me through these sensitive moments, especially when I come home feeling exhausted from work or for this upcoming interview. Some times I feel alone and isolated that I cant tell anyone with how I feel. Even If I do, I would be seen  as an emotional wreck or I’m having one those “moments”.  I don’t know much longer I can endure this without exploding. 
I just need to know That i have someone that will be there for me during these times when I need a support system. ",5.730081053698076,6.4376943890577545,6.552218844984803,75.9904761904762,67.11550151975685,10.278824721377914,33.295845997973665,10.290406445055957,3.477111043566364,1350,58,251,33,21,447,172,329,0.075,0.772,0.152,0.971,8,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,5,8,14,17,0,0,13,0,36,2,0,2,2,51,63,20,0,7,14,8,6,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,22,13,1,0,11,0,1,3,12,5,0,1,5,8,44,12,31,51,12,30,0,3,2,0,27,10,0,10,17,191,66,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087078651079812,0.0,0.0,0.0730055899786322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134890795556031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243335502836696,0.06746561030057431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759771078936792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557908280743636,0.0,0.1896286337484289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869417814473704,0.0,0.09065748515930408,0.0,0.11590110895827098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661798028545616,0.12536102604984148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045839826222732666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270070672916983,0.08800902524581132,0.0,0.0,0.1012386284372242,0.1878520907476817,0.0,0.0947728039759946,0.0,0.0870670772936531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643774100470316,0.07151871456022774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572935045969174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841992839863214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932523055125296,0.19349402140930572,0.13011420265133974,0.0676694600432231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594539836655178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4871169688511496,0.09501241384407512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124152587883934,0.0,0.08663133744248967,0.0,0.0,0.14985666481351895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088796203515931,0.06991634887673051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434067808803553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4978239325938552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668745215054339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657932818647572,0.05621938771698877,0.0,0.0,0.1023222312029404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059568787772368376,0.09543446240200293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239357952828165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457693294713033,0.0,0.06387478617114177,0.0,0.0,0.06232702352687619,0.0,0.0,0.0565008175214278
mentalhealth,snazzarool,2019/01/21,"I feel like when I’m sad all I can do is talk about being sad and I don’t like it/know how to stop I’ve been goin through a bit of a rough patch lately, so I’ve been down a lot. So I’ve been talking about being down a lot. Sometimes it’s to ask for advice, but other times it’s just me complaining or being edgy. My friends have a lot of issues in their lives too, and I don’t want to be that constantly sad person anymore. How do I get better at keeping it contained?",-0.7270000000000003,1.2012760380952408,1.6453571428571436,98.85089285714287,88.61904761904762,4.261904761904762,17.32142857142857,5.46131890053228,-0.7034285714285717,364,9,89,2,12,123,66,105,0.119,0.752,0.128,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,9,8,0,0,5,0,14,0,0,2,1,16,20,9,0,1,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,2,8,4,13,13,5,9,0,3,0,0,7,4,0,4,7,60,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954564635217293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19836531609595745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869909669073195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690074268951694,0.21836917999940436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21614971501125588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113572581570893,0.14289376830157308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453435057258394,0.0,0.10450178518244216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876809550180386,0.0,0.17778627003796502,0.0,0.0,0.10992533048648093,0.0,0.2256303885435914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543857173538254,0.0,0.1766206327757733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5101475555839279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746490648303745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978241196911005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722502134150408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215357394124402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663281370878224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797651626724705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stayonmypsandqs,2019/01/21,"What is wrong with me? Hi everyone, My name is Kyle and I’m 19 years old and I want to thank all of you personally for reading this post, I am going to try to be as honest as possible with myself in this. 

I come from an abusive background, my mother on drugs and neglectful and my stepdad physically and verbally abusive for 10+ years, my real dad not in the picture. As much as I don’t think this affects me today and I am over it, it may be the cause of some of these issues.

For the last few years i’ve been trying to figure out what is wrong with me so I can seek help. I’d say my main issue is the inability to feel most emotions. I don’t get sad very often, I rarely feel guilt or strong connections towards people. For example, when I started this post I was feeling extremely sad, that lasted a whole 2 minutes and I feel better now, better meaning my normal emotionless state. I feel as if people close to me were to die I wouldn’t be upset (my dad, my mom, my grandmother.) In fact, I know I wouldn’t be upset. I would say “damn that sucks.” and life would go on. And I recognize that is a huge problem. These lack of emotions and connecting with people take an extreme toll on my relationships. I have had an amazing girlfriend for almost 2 years and she puts up with all of my bullshit but I can start to see it taking a toll on her. I don’t like to kiss, cuddle, or have sex. in fact I don’t like to do anything intimate at all. I feel very emotionally detached from her most of the time. But sometimes I feel extreme love and affection towards her but I have ZERO clue how to express this. I spend forever just thinking of the things to say, or what to do to show her and it’s gone as quickly as it came and I feel emotionally numb again. This causes her to feel like I don’t love her and I recognize this isn’t fair at all. I will feel this emotionally numb until she tries to leave or break up with me. This drives me absolutely insane. I will break things, cry, scream, hurt myself and do anything to make her come back. At the time I legitimately feel very sad and lonely as well as guilty for the way I acted that made her leave but the second she gives in and comes home, or even If I know she is on the way home I am back to feeling empty. She claims I’m just pretending to be sad to manipulate her and I really hope that isn’t the case. It’s a very scary thought to think I could be manipulating people when I think that I am feeling genuine emotion for once. I tend to age regress and pretend I am still a toddler age. (cuddle with big stuffed animals and things of that nature.) But I have never ever let anyone know or see that, it’s just to calm to me down. I feel the need to please women whenever I can to make them like me, give them money, buy them food, etc. I can’t keep a stable job. I try it out for a few days to a few weeks, sometimes walking out mid shift crying. I feel like all of my friends don’t know the real me. I feel like I just match my personality to who i’m hanging out with at the time to make myself more accessible to them. The things I am interested in I feel like nobody understands or wants to talk with me about, I love technology, cars, and music but I can see people get very bored when I start talking about things i’m passionate about, I am the type of person who always wants to know the answer to a question, and why something is the way it is and the reaction I get from most people is “why, it’s not that serious.” and that’s very upsetting to me. cause talking about my interests is one of the few things I can put effort into. 

I’m sorry if this post was confusing, all over the place and really had no point. thank you if you read till the end.",2.6754296874999994,3.9907233919270837,4.228822916666665,87.54221875000002,74.84635416666666,7.307500000000001,23.86770833333333,7.908726449838941,1.0721652083333335,2887,85,631,42,60,965,301,768,0.13,0.7340000000000001,0.136,0.8390000000000001,1,2,2,0,0,3,76.0,0,3,4,4,23,47,2,5,34,0,59,13,0,12,10,148,130,59,1,17,23,4,17,7,2,7,4,4,2,4,43,45,1,2,32,5,3,14,15,22,1,3,10,24,105,25,107,105,20,88,0,7,3,8,50,33,2,21,39,437,148,4,0.0,0.11549915750211327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880661782871238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04055604009783239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03408052413153785,0.0,0.08021863536418505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495694500587308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621410692509189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05574620178418794,0.0,0.15020990565260287,0.0,0.12595699783234102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03891536117610014,0.0,0.10707840564043912,0.03143362097444834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058499323228675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652356107553934,0.0,0.0,0.3289593342727941,0.043169658181506594,0.0,0.0543585945167177,0.0321926719835471,0.04408861572143821,0.0,0.04657368192851536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189596507526792,0.13928102767667094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058937263585632525,0.0,0.03765682614246567,0.0,0.07639477323219812,0.0935127490220876,0.05540075281495439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03266976162608685,0.0,0.09778148653781048,0.048410361373167864,0.0,0.0,0.05217776424417963,0.0,0.0,0.10174493693183864,0.048367472668270656,0.04332283816854402,0.0,0.0,0.13393265133107804,0.0794601031591956,0.0,0.10321840458341212,0.0,0.0498405121582137,0.034426890174308736,0.16668518692030354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319707414059808,0.04611948460302095,0.09760408192832336,0.0,0.0,0.053092745079290064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057084340227774574,0.0,0.0,0.0358299106194629,0.03614049843011823,0.03759171504147663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047755388015458165,0.0,0.0,0.051145005626727406,0.0519070924372014,0.03302785644524405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20274335204527866,0.12767509836926336,0.05092349830855647,0.05350248471449808,0.046075571786042886,0.05494764397755161,0.14003991430614005,0.0,0.0,0.04663812146485338,0.0,0.09799542506453564,0.05460056807099101,0.0,0.09750747489850874,0.11095482758534182,0.062448885686215025,0.0,0.0,0.052329107443952236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628131917776108,0.0,0.0,0.1165197178477146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03752285476314583,0.09641129566846868,0.05456105255147317,0.10349643129791772,0.0,0.0389242642460402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329365186559557,0.1175274176205536,0.0,0.0897474953972981,0.0,0.0,0.19428632423460568,0.12492389929007462,0.0,0.03869455039451503,0.08526301573853558,0.0,0.046200340008862084,0.0,0.0,0.13236652953191858,0.0,0.0,0.05074062894276569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24129633758460994,0.08624531333341617,0.11606393391375275,0.03909672727203423,0.0,0.04382360576526675,0.0,0.08796152614017824,0.05441708073088033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692477731109185,0.10658027468569584,0.0,0.1255492584406216
mentalhealth,WindowsKidd,2019/01/21,"I feel guilty for liking my friend romantically. We’re early 20s, M and F respectively.

Basically long story short, she was treated poorly by her family and her fiancée, cheating and mental abuse.

I being an empathetic person once complimented on how cute she was in a romantic manner, I realized that wasn’t the best choice. I think I initially wanted to console her, then I developed an interest.

She just told me she wasn’t into me. I apologized a couple times on separate occasions and she seemed cool with it. She even said she’d be down to go the the bar, do fun stuff, this or that, etc.

Maybe I confused her platonic affection for interest? Maybe I’m just experiencing lust?

I feel guilty writing this. Maybe I wanted her to help me with my feelings of loneliness with a companion, and I thought she could help?

Maybe I’m just weird. :P

Maybe I should seriously look elsewhere. Should   I stop thinking about her like that and treat her like a sister?",3.8587840946434433,6.386809692737433,5.12876109102859,77.04597108116992,74.97765363128492,8.904502136049949,27.28918830101873,9.478462496947786,2.8449031219191583,761,30,136,21,17,252,111,179,0.115,0.593,0.292,0.9881,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,6,18,1,1,9,1,11,2,0,2,0,32,26,9,0,5,4,1,3,3,2,2,0,1,0,1,7,10,1,1,8,1,1,1,2,4,0,0,7,7,33,14,16,13,2,12,0,0,1,1,25,6,0,3,8,90,40,0,0.0,0.1636870792964912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498160219277065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030282728369424,0.15286214013982738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540755753294734,0.09124784224751403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023705240856304,0.0,0.20956083059647165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673559911851616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851474950317992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520023790784446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20248171006398874,0.0,0.0,0.12225983655850013,0.11601256664976944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6939593569911615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922433962145642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712696680342496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062866606090206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141382727680606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576804647925838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155009405634288,0.0,0.0,0.15815055272036438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704395989855756,0.0,0.1096769548064135,0.08055732076369643,0.0,0.0,0.13200979352291756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297081003728614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aelalynn,2019/01/21,"someone give me a reason to live I'm sick and tired. I feel like no one understands me, including my parents. No one cares. My friends won't care if I'm gone. No one will. I'm sick of everything and I want it all to go away. ",-2.102599999999999,-0.3080813599999992,0.7714999999999996,100.66325000000002,102.6,4.9,18.25,6.6274283507984215,0.009799999999999807,172,6,44,3,8,59,35,50,0.309,0.528,0.163,-0.8329,1,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,1,8,13,3,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,1,1,6,4,4,10,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134953678691784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463363767454537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20422474477118285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489716937645025,0.16233718962280824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175561695029236,0.0,0.0,0.2179851358562513,0.1291432532483241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101585764208699,0.0,0.2006532369816819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4619422602509584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523182913625383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336360882842957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19253602392608735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611739452982711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365603195112549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402947042375368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,carjo2110,2019/01/21,"How likely is it my friend has a personality disorder? So me and a couple of my friends awkwardly stumbled upon a twitter account that was full of videos of a dude twerking and asking for black guys to direct message him. The bio said some very vulgar stuff that I don’t really want to repeat here, but the worst part is once we really started to examine some of the posts after one of my friends suggested it was (we’ll call him brad) brad, who is one of my best friends, we started to recognize a lot of the videos taking places in rooms in brad’s house. It was also pretty easy to see his face in a few of the videos and we are fully convinced it’s him considering when we confronted him about it, really just messing with him not fully believing at this point, the account got deleted almost immediately.

Some details about my friend, he is one of the most straight people that I know. I’m not saying that’s necessarily a good thing, I fully support gay people, but he is simply quite masculine and shows absolutely no sign whatsoever that he is gay. Although he has never had a girlfriend and has never really showed a great deal of interest in a particular girl, he makes comments about girls being attractive all the time. He is literally the last of my friends I would expect to do this, and if any of my friends just came out randomly and proceeded to act the same after the fact, I wouldn’t mind at all, but considering brad had a Twitter that posted some very NSFW stuff and asked certain people to do equally NSFW stuff to him, it’s all just very weird.

Me and my friends started wondering if he has a different personality, possibly even a disorder such as dissociative identity disorder. We just can’t fathom that this dude that we’ve spent the better part of the last 4 or 5 years with pretty much everyday could truthfully just be like this. We are all a pretty tight knit group and it’s just sincerely confusing all of us.",10.556720142602494,7.380906828877009,10.38266310160428,65.03301426024957,59.58823529411765,13.930552584670231,40.976114081996435,12.10132525352546,4.797061889483064,1550,60,285,37,15,515,186,374,0.07200000000000001,0.711,0.21600000000000005,0.9966,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,8,0,0,3,16,27,1,2,27,0,28,3,1,2,10,67,45,22,0,7,14,0,1,2,9,3,0,2,1,5,24,20,0,1,3,5,3,2,8,6,0,3,9,5,30,21,40,30,20,32,0,0,2,2,47,13,0,13,17,206,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125514204574581,0.0,0.0,0.0648917437146955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055181481674655884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171951491589242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142279179863713,0.08515682417462829,0.0717662871982936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285826635046581,0.09280842938926714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478779601616456,0.08978556033293555,0.0,0.0,0.08365708216508402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847794064126655,0.27899810123974955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359560344942328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5015403063472184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806069832388681,0.06489918578176318,0.0894628096229267,0.0,0.08034645188362574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936306034041233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459524995836902,0.13228824811892095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792868387975227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898670111257668,0.0,0.0,0.05416501486993641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819334652955654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596510187837296,0.0,0.12516827763637592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864169318998626,0.16495815237658365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17574457055429754,0.0,0.1687674807449814,0.1417056226556228,0.0847794064126655,0.0,0.0767083911336178,0.09147895951619182,0.15542923801787342,0.247661356208644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630785082576661,0.0,0.0,0.2079346327516592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771876156303366,0.06452987680355965,0.0,0.0,0.06466217524075503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17230485537542808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786753341273235,0.0,0.09208254974864467,0.0,0.0,0.06101105094283819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390922916994786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04731638702083054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760761916190436,0.0,0.0,0.2008597302763868,0.047861509343403934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799844911228208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05764318335093805,0.0,0.0,0.05225481339504598
mentalhealth,whymakeshitup,2019/01/21,"Looking for help and steps to assist my (M24) wife (F22) get on a path of recovery and healing, anything would be helpful. Throwaway because my main account has pictures of her, and I don't want to give her identity away. This was actually her idea to reach out and seek for advice. I've been an active Reddit user for a year or so and have found communities to be so helpful with the shit I've had to go through in my own life and each time I've shared the wonderful, insightful, and kind responses with my beautiful wife. After she relapsed tonight she asked me to reach out to Reddit on behalf of her to possibly get some insight of her options she might have to help out her on the path of recovery. Everything shared here will be promptly read to her, so ANYTHING is appreciated.

A little backstory.

She started cutting 10 years ago as a way to cope with depression and through a series of hard and awful events she has used it fairly consistently as a coping mechanism. When she was 19 and we were engaged, she made a resolve to quit cold turkey. This was really successful for her and led to an entire year of sobriety. But life threw a curve ball and due to some extremely hard circumstances surrounding our life, she relapsed and has found it difficult to continue to stay away.

Over the last few months she has expressed a want to change, I however do not know what I can do to help encourage her to do what is necessary.
Thank you in advance.",8.015791090629799,7.034773541218637,8.000064004096263,73.20104838709679,62.691756272401435,11.842396313364056,37.84971838197645,11.062562989136584,4.122397644649258,1154,50,216,27,14,374,156,279,0.064,0.764,0.173,0.9868,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,1,0,4,5,12,2,0,15,1,25,5,1,3,0,42,42,21,0,3,3,2,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,6,21,0,0,8,2,1,5,2,4,0,0,10,4,29,8,49,26,6,34,0,1,1,0,34,13,1,6,14,151,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.1234496001385139,0.0,0.0,0.12361818918191207,0.11213811282519624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820393281878025,0.0,0.11826411010392544,0.0,0.23770923776099384,0.0,0.0,0.0771156296003904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338243980688739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895766089997166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369358711622855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27741008833552244,0.0,0.0,0.13218617811627925,0.12135410947034615,0.07189510619838126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22664537037983046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4239646326519415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280755374661525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317343898792719,0.06952325881232019,0.10311759795478156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680604287197147,0.0,0.1267901848529243,0.0,0.0,0.10623145144587326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970108978207865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420069247033026,0.0,0.0,0.100974240534821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261418837798046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455251525883244,0.12653817695184785,0.0,0.08104166532497141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298544797721982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954014210084567,0.1348363715534162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646783454693012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376546659081487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092587899166233,0.0,0.0,0.1492306065931264,0.10041294182893892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718813009069913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986477166546775,0.0,0.0,0.2443931754555509
mentalhealth,icymoons,2019/01/21,I am diagnosed schizoaffective but I don't identify with much of anything to do with it. How often do people get misdiagnosed and get a different diagnosis later on. I am at a crossroads in my life and am finally ready to be completely honest about my past so I can have a real future. Any one else misdiagnosed then had it fixed later on?,4.509545454545453,6.10075995454546,6.721636363636367,70.38245454545456,70.66666666666666,10.734545454545453,29.86666666666667,10.793553405168565,3.754161212121211,271,11,48,9,5,96,48,66,0.0,0.873,0.127,0.8458,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,1,0,8,12,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,6,1,10,10,1,10,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,6,40,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20021498023979245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422817075318809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30869266471984463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29882903406904315,0.0,0.30760513608044604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459492514794303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225215657147501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076434965712297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795680950135026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216431802565265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995058983325516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28105619942406906,0.204113027275448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351132185712065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pathofcollision,2019/01/21,"Childhood mental illness and adult ramifications Growing up depressed and anxious in an abusive household has left me crippled by anxiety as an adult. I have such a difficult time maintaining my sanity when I start new relationships because my mind is constantly telling me I'm not good enough and/or the other person's intentions arent genuine and they're just using me or intend to hurt me.

And even when I dont say how I feel aloud, even when I do my best to act normal within relationships, I still find myself depressed so much at times. I dont get it. 

I know I'm worthy of love, I know I have a lot of good things to offer, I know my value...so why can I not control the thoughts that tell my otherwise? ",6.3618571428571435,6.279891900000003,6.996428571428571,76.07107142857146,65.71428571428571,9.857142857142858,33.92857142857143,9.516144504307137,3.064714285714285,566,23,107,10,8,187,94,140,0.193,0.718,0.09,-0.9171,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,10,8,0,0,6,0,9,2,0,5,0,22,20,11,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,4,4,0,1,6,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,1,2,22,4,11,19,4,17,0,3,0,1,10,5,0,2,10,73,26,0,0.0,0.17126891266272778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058087065075188,0.16330111793037047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811674975204563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169701524626233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562079270056911,0.1621258733008269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24900256896929865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33882462886595155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935948800929888,0.0,0.19094871497150406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308916449445776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211669810811527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552176152947172,0.0,0.0,0.2424844959022331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474448715540273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238323811805366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705473123530184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289181462431595,0.13046262773811607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567308162400766,0.0,0.14595497489000556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626137826998183,0.0,0.0,0.13960794257680895,0.0,0.0,0.14162897039391015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621607374876567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103866565389544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495249852478127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231371169694607,0.0,0.11543835570391968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25268732239407937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603304536742403,0.0,0.0,0.11475708940856053,0.16857732196723998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484537180314588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043450068375426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rhythm_sage,2019/01/21,"Is this normal for therapy? My apologies in advance. This has been eating at me and I don't know where to post this.

I started seeing this therapist (everyone involved is American) in late November due to worsening depression and anxiety (and questionable OCD, one doctor says one thing, another says another, who knows). Things have been fine...

Until I send her a long, rambling, venting email about my friend's past suicide attempt that goes ignored. ...Okay...

And then I had to call and cancel my appointment last week due to weather. I called around 8 AM... and then my therapist emails me (as a reply to the vent email) 15 minutes before the appointment at 12 to cancel... and she knows I live an hour away from her office. No call, just a response to my email. Even though I left a voice mail?

It's been a little over week and I haven't heard back. Is this normal? Okay? Professional? I don't have anyone else to ask 😅 Anything is appreciated!",2.4492009685230047,5.238049158192094,3.5638095238095246,84.52406779661017,82.84180790960451,6.98724778046812,24.81275221953188,8.11559375814309,1.9143701372074249,739,29,135,16,21,238,112,177,0.131,0.8390000000000001,0.03,-0.949,0,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,8,2,15,2,0,0,0,17,22,13,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,10,9,1,1,4,0,0,2,4,2,0,2,5,5,19,4,20,17,0,27,0,1,1,0,21,10,0,1,14,90,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26867380079068504,0.098005546824154,0.0,0.0,0.08957908793550297,0.1312661748658307,0.10542549409773593,0.11404709440087013,0.11976769192527713,0.0,0.12036570829025407,0.09851043872069076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901411801635637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924508982207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034292273538593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112835155451286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109085009690485,0.1070213745161727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461695551871902,0.0,0.0,0.12241677777173213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897923304724902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616479377252746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21122148306256672,0.10442861061627297,0.14451623685898835,0.0,0.1391943717340558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284021651646448,0.11312549415513128,0.11337534013938075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510456755840836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362439881561653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222976715632373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269615484484585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351507827996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20376006103814026,0.0,0.0,0.1020889038268578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906785342117386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013404554960876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650756218346567,0.2974964726314541,0.1702242181497816,0.0,0.1258696688546732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055278936893448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,honeylemonsugar,2019/01/21,"Should I buy fluoxetine myself? Like a title, Should I buy it myself?

My current situation is

* Dr.(psychiatrist) mistreat me give me wrong diagnosed
* I tried to change hospital but local data stuck with me because payment.
* I ask Dr. at new hospital to give me a chance and re-diagnosed me they say yes but therapy and Dr. don't really care and want to me shut up about other thing than diagnosed(which is misdiagnosed from former Dr. he always read report from this hospital so they won't risk to give me new one)
* I have mood disorder but wrong diagnosed is schizophrenia. Because my former dr. doesn't believe in DID.
* From trying to get new diagnosed(from dr. I ask a chance but they don't really give) I tried to be good patient by take antipsychotic pills, and my body feel so much pain like I could die, but they still just give it too me, like they are just meds feeder.
* I done a research for years, and now
* I just ask from advice help because I did ask help from police and mental service first since teen they said they will send help told me to wait at home, but no one come
* I report my dr. and he read and do something and change his mind from help to give me schizophrenia diagnosed.
* He told parents about this, parents can keep me with reason I have schizophrenia.
* parents become my last long life caretaker, they hate take care of child who couldn't have job or make money.
* when I tried to find job ask help from anyone they guilt and manipulate me.
* I ask help from older sister parents told her I'm mental sick, crazy, ungrateful child who delusional it all up to frame parents to be abuser.
* My father have at least depression since I was young and it affect me.
* parents not always be bad, and hit me with belt like movie you see, So no one believe me except my friends who know and met my parents
* I don't have friends now, my friends have no willing to help or let me stay.
* Maybe from dr or parents, now when I ask help to nursing home, no one believe and think I'm delusional girl.
* at first I tried tot lie to myself I really have schizophrenia So I won't feel miserable, more and more I just know it misdiagnosed.
* I tried to do thing  on my own, but then my parents lent money to friends and their cheat our money, their friends know police well.
* police can't reply on.
* believe or not I don't care any more, I'm ready to left this account.
* only thing I have to comfort me is cat and game but I have to deal family in same room made my mental health gone worse.
* I actually planning my suicide to become aware for how bad mental health my country are and victim doesn't get help, but people probably don't care, and think I'm stupid and crazy(well maybe I'm crazy but I think I don't)
* ""I"" will regret Posting this but I can't keep living like this.",1.8310878958271672,4.385073748623853,2.777675347736018,90.80456569991124,83.07339449541284,5.717963894643386,21.08390056229653,7.1029339738359605,0.6263566143829538,2183,67,438,30,62,690,221,545,0.159,0.67,0.171,0.5455,12,0,1,0,2,1,82.0,1,1,11,3,19,32,4,3,4,1,45,18,1,6,1,73,96,43,2,6,22,11,2,5,5,7,16,2,3,3,17,24,1,3,10,3,6,3,19,14,1,6,12,5,80,17,50,70,8,39,0,3,1,0,71,14,0,4,25,269,97,8,0.0,0.05554653729802229,0.045749273160373874,0.0,0.0,0.04581175069120115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801780178052352,0.0,0.0,0.03188081293138482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03278041408698551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306793051617794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828766128268379,0.08573500439606066,0.1035531695285478,0.0,0.2112761625489984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05207442712318504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911939673424801,0.0,0.09918815347973672,0.04038398910925983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03743081088699204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833244244174539,0.040378695320480426,0.19033366079224326,0.04865526769311733,0.0,0.053729898774605454,0.0,0.0,0.04797572831295991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044195408216021616,0.0,0.04740907078294549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042848553103186936,0.07975422279028982,0.0,0.0,0.18110143338572304,0.0,0.04898696766844217,0.2698362228989046,0.0,0.03932171310724021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628546363011258,0.0,0.09966501324286474,0.0,0.0,0.2828112264598908,0.0,0.09405130057211328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304468301528564,0.08334030128803957,0.0,0.0,0.07729401848613784,0.038214422332528274,0.0,0.0,0.05093654388740145,0.04793918721871364,0.03311356689484369,0.11451889288366268,0.0,0.04139694461803455,0.041488372818638285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04436011010072339,0.03129355454199823,0.0,0.09419690172759387,0.0,0.05207442712318504,0.0,0.1889808287083665,0.0,0.04733663179449812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034463064660404746,0.0,0.0,0.13583441972415505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707161503760114,0.035655253188293136,0.049884885437974466,0.0,0.468504064110618,0.0,0.0,0.032501510284762836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044899215379272515,0.0,0.05054584586843384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378774197875668,0.0,0.09009986132390116,0.048201665485028695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459474192880563,0.03728179940852274,0.0,0.0,0.03735823413987351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756120017832463,0.05269641536984576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03609142606241465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996910469721642,0.03743937432099776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05128040647286003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049763227902467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361271995431171,0.0,0.09343732706791147,0.09011870971271213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439094187164982,0.0,0.19097548056625324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027651737135061312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04215181486721538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777593194796024,0.0,0.10251443094646198,0.0,0.030189945613167905
mentalhealth,SamSammynella,2019/01/21,"There are 80 people ahead of me in the helpline chat waitlist I can’t burden my partner with my feelings and depression anymore because it’s wearing him down and I don’t want to drive him away from the relationship.  I don’t have any close friends I can confide in about where I’m at mentally and emotionally right now, (feeling really discouraged about life and hopeless and thinking about how sensible it would be to end it all but not actually at risk of suicide at all because I don’t want to hurt the people I love).  I tried the mental health helpline chat but there awe 80 people in line ahead of me and I felt guilty about taking a spot in line when I know I don’t have the guts to harm myself so others need the helpline more than I do... so I closed the chat without getting to speak with anyone.  I have an appointment with a new therapist next week but I wish I had some people in my life I could talk with other than than at my appointment.  I hope the new therapist can help me build a support network! ",5.729121510673237,5.7958095270935965,5.9464162561576375,82.56014983579642,67.02955665024629,9.131198686371102,32.1876026272578,8.841846274778883,2.4361760262725785,806,31,164,12,12,257,111,203,0.133,0.765,0.102,-0.8597,0,0,0,0,0,2,11.0,0,0,0,2,12,11,0,1,12,0,16,6,2,1,2,34,31,13,1,7,5,0,3,0,2,1,3,1,0,1,5,12,0,1,5,3,0,1,7,7,0,0,2,4,27,4,34,26,4,25,0,4,0,1,12,15,0,2,9,116,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.1346408421262659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382574201134086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683122382895607,0.09647328259069043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962930587633356,0.0,0.0,0.168212992165934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015947470087467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188351457049677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520001342338813,0.12220230583936355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952565305820835,0.0,0.13247482855386875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659688260336213,0.0,0.07208471440595575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665786346489673,0.0,0.0,0.09247977329689476,0.0,0.0,0.1370374016269663,0.0,0.0,0.14770195949600914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582584393428729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949075132580646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452518414156225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27808679969426353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230454509913878,0.0,0.266508578869022,0.14673486662634852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826098569720053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838844398382924,0.0,0.0,0.14813037354338382,0.0,0.11782739786603387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509190558695789,0.1565690752452358,0.0,0.0,0.10373782928399793,0.11089672729699822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203924256805589,0.0,0.0884069343536714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936739819478352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275900869802445,0.0,0.11067287591964373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866107669313034,0.13300015639679955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980114032037952,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_dooo,2019/01/21,Struggling with hallucinations I am dealing with hallucinations and need help. I couldn’t find any free online live text support to talk to a medical professional. Really could use some help,7.158958333333333,10.457152812500002,7.376250000000002,61.17708333333337,67.75,10.516666666666666,32.541666666666664,10.504223727775694,4.418779166666667,158,7,23,5,3,51,26,32,0.075,0.618,0.306,0.8225,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,9,6,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,4,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,12,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020957041770149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23727770368980816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063842509562785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716213206668264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983931169829189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624194273641809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993821972925537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22035859924050025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903840507423164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106818469897984,0.0,0.0,0.3372415377243204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388657069325847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566720577633667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Amanto17,2019/01/21,"Possible? Depression Background: I had a major organ transplant done 2 years ago. There were complications that were severe enough to keep me in the hospital for 5 months. During that time I was told I couldn't tell time, very numb, almost didn't care anymore. Now I'm better, physically, but mentally, I'm not like before. My own sister calls me intellectually slow, and sometimes a sudden fit of rage overcomes me even during small disputes. I've been able to suppress the rage sometimes but I'm afraid I'll say something I'll regret if it comes to that point. 

I was put  on antidepressant at one point during this,which helped, but I found myself to be numb again so I stopped taking them. Now, I'm starting to get angry again.

Lately, I've been holding back by just ignoring fam members when they tick me off but I can't do this forever. I can't tell anyone bc my parents are not open-minded to mental illness and I'm currently fuming at my sis. 

Question: What can I do about this without having to go to a therapist or doctor and keeping it from family?

 I really want to avoid fights and tbh I'm not happy at all. I wish it could all be like before. ",3.250991189427314,5.319010607929516,4.535178414096919,82.76320814977977,75.07929515418502,7.006960352422907,24.565859030837,7.908726449838941,1.4524997356828195,916,30,172,14,20,302,145,227,0.255,0.69,0.055,-0.9941,2,1,1,0,1,0,27.0,0,0,2,1,11,16,4,2,5,0,20,4,0,0,2,33,38,12,0,6,11,3,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,9,5,0,7,2,0,0,3,8,11,0,1,11,1,21,5,21,23,5,30,0,2,0,0,13,10,0,4,19,104,30,1,0.12966961224675302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494428744004295,0.0,0.12984538592844147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859741208456832,0.0906680078515869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970792779026423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22067857880753092,0.0,0.0,0.11468223454298525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240717203571872,0.0,0.13220681171219895,0.0,0.0,0.11169888921843957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353063406665312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168424702138427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327223427064854,0.0,0.1326970336562049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398337232315666,0.0,0.08564555594574125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222409701262816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421760368935039,0.0,0.0,0.06774702048305017,0.0,0.07369422887721662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803571343331072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691480777088191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23051261864741346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462729706250941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670004535730753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613529410528759,0.0,0.1309293437179371,0.0,0.10350104737509608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786748513434163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439827590360043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451593929916936,0.14618300459095795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303537752952097,0.14525964200123734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830696739854555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311848021575973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464897528511235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982600259162573,0.25649312431087706,0.0,0.09178081895408327,0.0,0.0,0.10840960205916957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749541082720184,0.0,0.2266739130463519,0.0,0.0,0.15055641410297105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122278735296127,0.0,0.0,0.12390487137092612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699101020395292,0.076482496926942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911365469326482,0.1249968789349661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350297890167402
mentalhealth,lostnotsurewhattodo,2019/01/22,"I’m mentally breaking and I don’t know where to go to get help or where to start - and it’s just adding to the pile of angst when I try to find what I need to get past this. Tried to put the serious flair, but idk what my phone is doing. Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

I know I have mental health issues. My patience has always been limited, and I’m finding I’m now destroying my children due to my temper and outbursts. I’m becoming the monster I swore I wouldn’t be. My parents were this way to me, and I hated it. Now I’m doing it to my kids and husband, too. 

I want one on one help. Not group help. I want to get it all out but it being a private thing. But I want insurance to help pay - because isn’t mental health just as important as physical? What am I paying them for? I’m covered - but why are my choices all coming up as hospitals where I have to stay? Or be in a group? My thing is intimate. I want to make sure the focus is on me as I can get rambling to get my story out. There’s a lot of messed up stuff in my head. 

There is history of mental illness in my family. I was hoping I could dominate it as I did for so long, but something switched in me many years ago and some feelings have amplified to worse. I’m sad all the time. I feel like a failure. Feel like I’m always judged. Tied down. I don’t feel cared for. I’m stressed. I’m lazy. I rarely get good sleep. I’m always on the defensive. I’ll get spurts of energy or excitement and someone has to pop my balloon and it crushes my soul. 

And I’m taking it out on my kids and husband. I shouldn’t be yelling or snapping at my kids over the things they do. I go too far. I know I do. But I never feel satisfied they understand me. I’m miles better than my parents as I give my kids chances, but they PRESS. Constantly reminding myself they’re 4 and 1, for God’s sake. Like they freaking know! And it shows in my eldest. And it’s killing me to see what I’m doing to her. 

I don’t know where to start. Who do I even see? How long will it take to get me right? I don’t want anyone to know. But I don’t know when I *can* go. I’m a stay at home mom. My husband can’t watch the kids during the day and I have no one else. Everything costs too much. And we’re so far away that even if I could find somewhere to go, I’m looking at LEAST a hours drive ONE FUCKING WAY. 

I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to rewind the last 12 years of my life and try again. I feel I gave my life and dreams up for my husband and anyone else in my life, yet get looked at as selfish, lazy, a complainer. 

I want this pile of rocks off my back. But trying to find what I need is only piling on more. I just want to run away from it all. ",-0.3539574399656935,1.5760559914236687,1.928350932675816,97.46205470090052,86.85591766723844,5.221794596912522,19.05791702401372,6.553771083658985,-0.09705829759862804,2045,58,499,23,64,690,239,583,0.15,0.7390000000000001,0.111,-0.9884,2,0,1,0,1,0,74.0,0,0,5,2,24,23,6,1,17,0,41,9,2,2,6,88,112,45,1,18,18,7,7,3,0,3,6,2,1,6,26,23,0,2,18,3,3,8,12,14,0,4,5,14,79,9,74,98,9,69,1,1,5,1,30,34,1,8,25,310,105,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057132316942658835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088629524637466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901318974000924,0.06603812160728945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110850780170672,0.049559182618627635,0.0,0.03928900246814438,0.07118155697053116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05700206523982189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571254332808579,0.0,0.0,0.05551921268205341,0.0,0.06964911491788017,0.0,0.10291846825107863,0.0,0.07079688558852305,0.04156584989197063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768182362443454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851391427272913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05792480263688436,0.0,0.06075908602483394,0.0,0.1955315219159475,0.09208824993331073,0.0,0.0,0.2356298112519669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595843220618943,0.3030589774511092,0.061827698628758324,0.14651696521253085,0.05405881393036977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363245821048527,0.06614577649721698,0.1370177436463679,0.0,0.0,0.17280177919816894,0.0,0.06465005407662405,0.06401482717148094,0.06347169026769245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727056324841756,0.0,0.0,0.07130597427677922,0.0,0.24794579916647685,0.05253652964449145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657188432690165,0.09446316092627174,0.0,0.0,0.11407500076916105,0.10824596206189424,0.0,0.0,0.05479431347247806,0.0,0.0,0.04302183980621824,0.06534364886440436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598075884357033,0.0,0.0,0.07548475306165395,0.0,0.0,0.047379227727595785,0.09557985915707308,0.04970892745273915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469586776178433,0.04901822798232206,0.0,0.0,0.14313140403457353,0.0,0.06152619679240549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479150352489467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504118161107358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271891372722294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449799075551127,0.0,0.05460949993549825,0.04961787093733025,0.0,0.0,0.09123812856687914,0.13739332901020582,0.0,0.0,0.07382891213708018,0.0,0.07378148430039147,0.0,0.0,0.060744723871593916,0.0,0.09691893065568677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284560279543182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03758215570525117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503320097029912,0.0,0.0,0.06709622692764539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38015131959256826,0.10231711365891116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05815740405445712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568152838308673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300923451728888
mentalhealth,mackenzie_marie09,2019/01/22,Passive suicidal ideation I’ve been having these thoughts for a long time (10+ years). Where I wish I would get in a fatal car accident or someone would break into my home and kill me. The thoughts would come and go periodically. Lately they are CONSTANT. I hate my job. I’m struggling deeply with relationships and allowing toxic people to take advantage of me. I wake up every morning feeling completely dead inside. Almost numb to the outside world. Every time I’m behind the wheel I wish someone would just slam into me and kill me or at minimum seriously injure me. When I’m at work I daydream freak accidents killing me. I have zero desire to do anything half the time. Thank god for adderall that helps get my through my work day. I feel so lonely but at the same time I just want everyone to leave me alone. I don’t know what to do anymore. I see a therapist but I feel like all I do is complain for an hour about my problems (which I feel are incredibly minor compared to people with real problems). Can anyone relate here? Does it ever get better? ,3.041029411764703,5.4808106519607875,4.29486274509804,82.43788235294117,77.28431372549021,6.629019607843138,26.86666666666667,7.7348632917899725,1.7887243137254902,839,34,152,13,20,275,130,204,0.202,0.691,0.107,-0.9614,1,3,0,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,1,4,8,17,4,1,9,0,15,3,1,1,2,38,37,10,6,10,6,0,4,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,5,9,0,0,7,0,0,3,1,13,0,2,3,5,27,4,22,30,2,26,0,1,1,0,4,9,0,3,14,97,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121673528714597,0.11503106614891905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014780568562887,0.07766005511971022,0.0,0.0913980022720008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822901006536112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956736791627059,0.11645077607727272,0.12002308305019795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162849749803961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719476213723133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046571801136538,0.187156092937968,0.10612849414335418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22463359007045225,0.07934570082279473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174082484094782,0.0,0.06312146932771742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965485814845118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444531894044006,0.0,0.1114084338155234,0.0,0.10937781422373824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021604535544688,0.0,0.3686348153607363,0.0,0.061039067618536114,0.0,0.12528748817182428,0.11760304739413385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054261325131486696,0.0,0.0,0.09829007380360497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539986086503171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125506679217154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264176277456618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924351141952907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850536527021692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882120269242777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611048586038793,0.0,0.12148837359637152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350794462312397,0.0,0.0,0.10225481586652473,0.0,0.12895639481791052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763482806116599,0.2590543297347113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550971029121852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554412502706754,0.0,0.0,0.16171500292731722,0.0,0.0,0.3155929090735173,0.0,0.0,0.07152297814659117
mentalhealth,SmashThatMfSadButton,2019/01/22,"I don’t know what to do. Cross posting this from r/helpmecope 

Using a throwaway account, so here goes nothing.

I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I am 18, a senior in an extremely small high school, and I can tell that the light at the end of the tunnel is almost there, but I just don’t know how to keep going.

Growing up my parents would fight for hours and my two siblings were fairly older than me so we didn’t really talk about it much, leading to me locking myself in my room a lot. I never really socialized until freshman year, and I feel that my social skills have taken MAJOR hits from that. For example, I am in my school’s One Act Play, and I am in a scene where I have to act like I’m romantically holding this girl, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know why, but the thought of touching someone else gets me super anxious. So when I get anxious from not touching someone or saying the wrong thing I take it super hard and feel bad, thus repeating the loop. Sometimes I feel like I’m not even human, or I should even try.

My dream at the beginning of this year was to attend my dream college (won’t name it), which requires a fitness test. I trained all summer, but now that my heart murmur is being questioned I can’t stop thinking they will reject me. This has also caused stress and (I’m pretty sure) caused high blood pressure.

Financially I know my family can’t pay for college, so this dream school is about the only way to make it work. I scored a 33 on the ACT, but physically I am weak. I’m afraid of failing my family. I held three jobs at once during the summer to support myself and not use my family’s money, but now due to the amount of school activities I’m in I had to quit. My dad splits some of his income into a private account so we have issues paying bills with what’s left, and my mother has medical issues that make me scared to leave her alone for fear of her passing out or falling. 
My family has also had extreme bad luck with cars, as my first car died within a year of being bought. I have since gone through 4 cars in the course of roughly 8 months.

School ends in 4 months, but with baseball, 5 academic events, 2 artistic events and no job I feel burnt out, sad, and basically worthless. I have to do all these activities to look good for the dream school, but also have to drain what precious money we have left because I don’t have a job. 

I don’t have any close friends I can talk to, don’t have any romantic feelings for anyone, and just feel like I shouldn’t really exist. I feel like I am floating, unable to change anything even though I HAVE to change something to get to that light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not suicidal or anything, I’m just tired, sad, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like what constitutes “me” is a bunch of actions, not a real personality. 

TL;DR
I feel like a major fuckup because I can’t do basic human interaction right, probably overburdened myself (but can’t escape it), worry constantly about my parents, whether it be their health or spending money, and I’m just tired. My brain is numb and I don’t know why I act the way I do. Maybe I’ve got a mental illness or need some therapy.  I just don’t know.",4.61715509501721,4.929178016871166,5.597227293131829,83.25721457429299,69.44478527607362,8.20146640730211,27.712254975310486,8.015777009494485,1.6180442465958405,2505,77,516,30,41,828,289,652,0.14400000000000002,0.73,0.126,-0.8959999999999999,6,1,1,0,1,0,74.0,3,0,2,9,27,31,1,5,30,0,61,10,3,9,4,99,110,43,2,4,26,4,13,6,1,5,7,1,1,4,27,24,0,5,20,6,10,17,25,16,0,4,11,17,76,15,67,90,10,73,0,5,1,0,27,27,0,12,32,333,103,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073331634188831,0.06281624893528431,0.0,0.14550799000939107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248965661457364,0.0,0.0,0.137036960337665,0.0601495944814279,0.042408659834658594,0.0,0.09982137617455496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128227141299126,0.07394469611655545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770668693146235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246107751166198,0.12832164503437749,0.0,0.0,0.0655422931845302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294626697778294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066621207576693,0.0,0.16115661912345608,0.0,0.0,0.1201784400424408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228705839811982,0.06824935032438265,0.2760031699902284,0.2166457923799789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051589795292332916,0.0,0.0,0.046858889967917976,0.0,0.09506309053950517,0.0,0.034469418246699184,0.05087126571543371,0.048508225832597215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054331473158574436,0.0,0.0,0.06446928389643901,0.0,0.0718718463817822,0.0,0.12816243578312947,0.0,0.0,0.0597291169794151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660798301068946,0.1805605765510519,0.05390948507336945,0.0,0.0,0.2666580703574325,0.0,0.0,0.06422075833926685,0.13179519679902946,0.0,0.0,0.17778638525032378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05093164923823657,0.0,0.0,0.05156339693178566,0.0,0.0,0.08097016139377147,0.0,0.06093218273942268,0.0,0.0,0.061099603160164676,0.061122044238810326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682225990552656,0.0,0.04458553763734202,0.044972022679650524,0.04677786790022187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058196366914054276,0.0,0.0,0.06459144283342692,0.04109875551350823,0.04612789514398724,0.0,0.0,0.1346917395606294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052958201730316116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580869889809785,0.06170397390076378,0.06539214476672946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794311346752438,0.06450991131168944,0.0,0.06903423083985924,0.11656394455225187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051795708626439986,0.0,0.048232189652776036,0.06072233249494283,0.36829291164341865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017121727019819,0.0,0.0,0.1236523184301069,0.1027789616466226,0.04669218048213582,0.059985489460814286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050707035981904604,0.06947563096083496,0.0,0.0,0.06634246012023255,0.06882615035370436,0.0571629446562178,0.0,0.04560207962194381,0.09749811467841828,0.05301173533838414,0.0,0.06935981947390656,0.0,0.04029389631837108,0.03886277635992495,0.059589398519019274,0.0481501991812822,0.0,0.13941903629012792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041178116148885384,0.0,0.05924731245787405,0.0,0.0,0.1047661551920518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628404135693733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945636945660206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04415472367830457,0.06159413685986406,0.0,0.043084801789344485,0.06631245747255753,0.0,0.11717196102571435
mentalhealth,itasacasiul,2019/01/22,"what are your experiences with anti-depressants/anxiety meds? i think i have been ignoring the fact that im depressed and have anxiety because i've normalized feeling this way. i think i'm getting to the point where i want to try anti depressants/SSRIs. i know i just need to go to a doctor to figure out all of this, but i'm curious to hear your experiences on anti depressants. i have heard some bad experiences and i'm worried about it being rough trying out medications. i am typically of the mindset that depression depends a lot on context. i think you need to put a lot of effort into making a good life for yourself/being healthy to maintain your happiness. i am just finding this so difficult. has anyone found that anti depressants have helped them get better and been able to eventually stop? i don't want to be medicated forever. i know it is under my control but i worry that i will feel dependent on them. my mother is completely dependent on her medication for depression/anxiety/ocd. not to say thats a bad thing because i know they help her, but she has been on them forever and i just dont want that.

sorry this is very poorly written and maybe unclear. i can clarify anything in comments. this topic is just overwhelming. i would greatly appreciate any advice or input.",4.950642795513378,6.8123419590163925,6.538093183779117,71.06091889559966,69.98360655737704,10.054874892148405,32.92407247627265,10.307518312809881,3.937445901639344,1034,49,173,30,19,354,136,244,0.193,0.68,0.126,-0.962,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,4,4,3,7,13,0,1,8,0,23,5,0,5,2,49,47,10,0,7,9,1,3,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,15,9,0,3,11,0,1,2,3,9,0,0,6,6,31,4,28,37,4,16,0,5,0,0,18,12,0,8,1,125,46,1,0.10621888311821136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379586325196054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223248292108855,0.0,0.1625143097031272,0.0,0.0,0.07427071278829965,0.0,0.0874090903709039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737666127598922,0.12950009052166506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394197033207892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136847805062423,0.0,0.1191335093920306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36594467354264537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871952775094668,0.0,0.0,0.1244877399375811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117073484858656,0.0,0.0,0.10741491764981284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708213485272832,0.0,0.0,0.11646352282031867,0.0,0.0,0.1109899648130762,0.0,0.06036663909120155,0.08909135963877997,0.0,0.1171066936234265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307197621144187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971640102750768,0.0,0.1423925567123501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473462101952475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512536089398076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502553841195993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806069920077952,0.0,0.0,0.07090192928455084,0.0,0.10671114488049427,0.0,0.11798523381121155,0.3210130498450029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751991187514552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407195305155814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004111775238551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677931538617813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446951916939692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189033433827924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880374245356842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705671061582924,0.2041823141148886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423129849331776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764170271387238,0.1879519478984616,0.08431160533719123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574086358765565,0.0,0.07545484699853837,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrinkmyCola,2019/01/22,"Why do I sometimes not feel any emotions? I don't feel anything. It's just like when my grandmother died I didn't cry or anything for the first 6 months. I don't care about anyone except my self when I feel like this which is opposite of my character. I normally give my shirt off my back for anyone in need. But I go through these periods where I don't feel anything at all. It's neither good or bad it's just void of everything.

I don't care if I live or die right now. I don't feel depressed or down in any way. I don't feel disconnected from myself or any different I just don't feel anything and in a way I like it because I have no anxiety and depression right now. I sometimes secretly hope I die soon but not in a despair and sad kind of way I just feel ready to go naturally.
",1.5664870259481063,3.3006254491017977,3.449005988023952,90.16460678642716,78.94011976047905,7.3275848303393225,25.50459081836328,8.238735603445708,1.499547225548902,618,24,140,12,15,208,85,167,0.141,0.742,0.118,-0.5477,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,12,13,0,0,3,0,11,1,1,0,1,31,26,13,3,4,15,0,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,9,0,0,2,12,5,0,1,1,8,24,8,17,25,2,24,0,4,0,0,3,10,0,7,12,90,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246773266572207,0.0,0.0842494474578049,0.0,0.0,0.154011459695876,0.0,0.36251171136820987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468347251748308,0.09195427609858503,0.06713446398730298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245705462820228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097306287706293,0.0,0.0,0.1897102882965475,0.0,0.3428938746514641,0.11506281823969347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388186641045283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897809392718876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4454818767530701,0.07867717313278982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367685408311592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056471059649746,0.1251792779998029,0.09237214663180347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109384327405149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468385460986415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614124380091729,0.0,0.09724715268475027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790502716450482,0.0,0.0,0.08166028925899417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790440000594813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18810150385891156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489001606280465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21784354489036328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26224913400849376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099375547934938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,walkdontwalk1,2019/01/22,"Should I be worried about confidentiality during therapy?  I have made the initial appointment for therapy, but as I review the patient privacy contract/guidelines, it looks like my information can be shared for literally any reason. I understand if there is an actual legal reason such as a court order or for the physical safety of others or myself. Even sharing info between other health practitioners or insurance companies, etc. But some of these instances just seem excessive. More than that, the overall language used in the contract indicates that basically if for any reason the therapist feels it's appropriate to share my information, he/she may do so. Here are a few examples where disclosure of my information does not require my authorization:

""For research purposes, including studying and comparing the mental health of patients who received one form of therapy versus those who received another form of therapy for the same condition.""

""Specialized government functions, including, ensuring the proper execution of military missions; protecting the President of the United States; conducting intelligence or counter-intelligence operations; or, helping to ensure the safety of those working within or housed in correctional institutions.""

""For workers’ compensation purposes.""

""For my use in training or supervising mental health practitioners to help them improve their skills in group, joint, family, or individual counseling or therapy. ""

Should I even worry about this? I understand people have to cover themselves professionally, but I don't want to go into my first session feeling paranoid.",14.861401666063015,13.96502207968128,13.759290112278158,37.057015574067385,49.31872509960159,17.732850416515753,55.08909815284318,15.786528217884907,9.399642231075696,1326,81,145,54,11,435,163,251,0.034,0.7909999999999999,0.175,0.9905,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,2,5,10,5,0,0,15,0,12,3,0,6,1,42,23,18,0,5,17,0,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,12,2,0,2,12,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,3,16,5,34,17,7,13,0,0,1,0,15,7,0,14,2,122,28,10,0.0,0.0,0.10434685891917436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454301876018095,0.11212392809227667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935739114961619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925361996191795,0.1412506229940848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008027386539323,0.0,0.10813259487501628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909533863470757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076997005291278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409802066004843,0.0,0.0,0.14334393197033896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338121236590728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052239897746230925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979306748959955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117839761285063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155176957952289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245756583104061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413080632900107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32982113423336545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734375345422618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.611410689054546,0.1241523103736566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22263282317604144,0.0,0.1847039038493048,0.0,0.0,0.06306924054482088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784527189930629,0.21718230494170807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1234anonymore,2019/01/22,"Not Fitting Anywhere - Does This Have a Name? Can It Be Fixed? Hey folks. Anonymous for reasons, on mobile, yadda yadda. 

I've struggled with this feeling of not fitting in anywhere for basically my entire life. As a kid, surrounded by loving family, I felt wrong. Like I wasn't supposed to be with this family. Like they were a bunch of happy ducks and I was a happy chicken. Among friends I feel like the odd one out. Even when we're having fun I tend to ruminate on  why they would spend time with me. At work or school, I feel entirely out of place. The most messed up part, in my mind, is that I feel the very same about my twin. Like I don't even belong with the one person who has shared every step of life with me, is my closest ally and loves me to death. Even with her I feel this sense of ""wrongness"". My husband is in the same category as everyone else. Not even with him do I gain a sense of true belonging, and he knows me very well. 

I don't know why I feel this way but it makes everything so incredibly difficult. Life is just painful. Always has been. When I was young, I used to stare up at the night sky and just have this sense of knowing that I didn't even belong on this planet. I wondered where ""my people"" were and if I even had any. Were they coming to get me one day? Would I fit in with them there and gain a sense of belonging? Would I feel the same there as here? I had childhood fantasies about how great it would be when they finally came, when I would feel like I clicked in with society. Like I belonged somewhere, truly. 

Does this pattern of thinking have a name or a cause? I want to fix it, so I can stop thinking so much and just enjoy life. I often wonder about death and why I didn't just die as an infant. My sister and I were preemie babies and technically died after birth and had many, many years of intense medical care. I wish I had just simply ceased existing at birth. 

Anwyays, these are very intense, lingering and intrusive emotions and thoughts. Been there for as long as I can I remember and I'm not sure why. I'm afraid they'll escalate to the point where I'd rather be dead than here. I don't want to hurt myself in the future. Am I fucked? Do I need a professional or can I fix this myself? ",2.317290748898678,4.153401378854628,3.4175572687224687,90.77598348017622,77.06167400881056,6.566431718061674,22.80374449339207,7.461004344511776,0.7875658149779734,1742,52,375,23,40,561,213,454,0.095,0.738,0.16699999999999998,0.9763,0,0,0,0,0,3,58.0,0,0,6,3,32,28,1,2,19,0,46,9,0,5,2,85,79,33,5,11,15,2,9,6,1,6,6,0,0,3,17,27,0,1,19,1,1,3,10,9,1,3,18,11,58,19,59,51,7,48,0,1,2,3,22,27,1,8,23,260,75,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513259962443843,0.0,0.0,0.05323093388872902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952784918433712,0.07980845295127557,0.08041187470386649,0.0,0.06742856460607784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05048208465955527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247799850555694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700117640500098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539025366535435,0.08805090668051052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102066784755916,0.0,0.06595161184628141,0.07479687293849145,0.07035017443894714,0.0,0.14758487231776174,0.0,0.3166329689276748,0.11184197704042848,0.07515803967550122,0.085748449599972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047649066200107,0.07236567515227943,0.04089641696057721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863004899472493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666542986471798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379697375819807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905670871332708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211569816608017,0.22945265401684584,0.0,0.0,0.06927253816936929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129580437999836,0.0,0.05225039701947418,0.15872085486091925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885567887966446,0.0,0.0,0.07903729189689092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057542482385542874,0.058041283340242736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345750959835412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591272332145034,0.0,0.0832920742802494,0.0,0.0,0.08476618724770066,0.0,0.054267303314241636,0.06834831543411686,0.08178263506017808,0.0,0.0739969129719792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804816261831985,0.0,0.0,0.08867239799916928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922033879140006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544294135343258,0.0,0.08183194652696185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377499319939271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003132738841899,0.0,0.06214306555605523,0.04564385357046599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760605522776739,0.0,0.19375976684150828,0.09233941396117497,0.06213251030924141,0.0,0.0,0.07038027779642389,0.0,0.2825306834997932,0.0,0.09001450031853457,0.0,0.16977578292023213,0.05698647014563225,0.0,0.0,0.27802809828310066,0.1711668679244924,0.0,0.0504077170960979
mentalhealth,Listen_Closely24,2019/01/22,"I Am Afraid My Friend Is On The Brink Of Death One of my friends is suffering a severe case of eating disorder. I do not wish to disclose graphic information, but just know it is very unpleasant. I have no idea what to do, along with my other friends. She has been admitted to the hospital but refuses to change. Her parents are also aware, due to the fact that they sent her to the hospital, but are otherwise completely ignoring the problem. She has a very rocky relationship with her family so I cannot fathom bringing it up to them. When I or my other friends try to encourage her to eat, she does not listen. The only person who she will listen to is a close guy friend of mine, who I have tried to convince to help her, but he instead encourages her bad behavior because he does not want to upset her. He is very in love with her and would do anything to make her happy, even if it is slowly destroying her. I have thought about contacting the teachers in the school, but her parents already know and the most the teachers can do is alert the parents. We are trying to figure out why she is doing this, and one of the main reasons is because she is very into Korean pop music, and the idols are so skinny they border on underweight. We cannot make her stop listening or idolizing this pop influences, so her eating disorder continues to spiral out of control. I am scared, please give any advice you can.",6.889560439560442,6.5667594212454246,7.2845567765567765,75.25210989010992,64.67765567765568,10.943003663003664,34.31721611721612,10.504223727775694,3.5389923809523816,1114,44,208,25,15,365,143,273,0.133,0.7,0.16699999999999998,0.9176,3,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,1,3,1,9,18,1,3,16,0,33,5,1,5,1,47,48,17,1,5,12,3,0,0,5,2,0,3,0,2,11,14,4,4,8,0,0,2,6,8,0,2,3,3,38,10,35,43,2,16,0,1,0,1,54,10,0,4,4,161,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109657619300468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416691268194205,0.08273419257666836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035402456758129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513595328161025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638192597338469,0.12613234630212708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944334766094846,0.0,0.10847225962573456,0.0,0.11603535566880092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371404158694425,0.0,0.1810711070884636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175857391519593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683320977864733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752965967637917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996514995105522,0.0,0.0,0.09924498211464026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243828324629424,0.0,0.11013145707555673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934476725745108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678989017575568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371406551446454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337360596966146,0.0,0.1381161458958478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020971713360406,0.07868339380715861,0.0,0.0,0.34462887868627456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903342983472024,0.0,0.1135642614318823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899397844772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637059867421454,0.0,0.11107365330738922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357808839260683,0.10470358594934186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168764917922986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649433642059498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213297121509346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21072068771397234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34145006548438944,0.061021373511503475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335347511275173,0.0,0.11896996547320852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349258871909004,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mastermindingmyself,2019/01/22,"Venting my grievances I'm beginning to get tired. Like hella tired.

I'm 17 and since I've been 11, I know it's hard to believe but I've been dealing with what I'm /assuming/ is anxiety. At least, my last and only therapist characterized it as GAD.

I was given a ton of coping mechs, but my guardian refused to let me take medication. She was scared I'd end up like my mother, in that it'd make me worse and permanently ill. She's a private person so I was only allowed therapy for less than a year.

But it's gotten worse. I get terrible shakes, my bones and muscles always ache. I always get morbid thoughts at the weirdest times, and I can't help but pace the floor when they come. It's gotten to the point I can barely do my homework anymore. It's hard and the only time I can is at 3 am after a two hour nap.

I???? I'm mostly venting. Because I can't get help until I go to college. But it just sucks, how I have to deal with this. None of my friends really understand my problem fully, so I get the same halfassed answers. I know they're doing their best but I hate it, when I get the same awkward looks and halfassed answers when I talk about my issues. And I know it's not healthy or good for them if I unload a lot so I just don't???? But I don't have anywhere to do it and I just. feel suffocated all the time.

;;;; God I'm counting the days to June;;;",0.15019216555801762,2.3088242578397242,2.5209819448843858,92.47865589694858,86.90940766550524,5.151261746383698,21.588955759687465,6.574015621080383,0.4169382113821136,1050,37,232,12,33,358,150,287,0.233,0.721,0.045,-0.9945,1,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,3,1,11,12,2,3,13,0,21,5,1,3,1,46,49,27,0,2,13,1,3,2,1,0,4,0,1,1,13,12,0,1,9,1,0,3,6,7,0,1,9,4,38,5,24,38,10,25,0,0,1,0,14,7,1,7,17,148,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19803641379020426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091035293947902,0.0,0.11801682707108373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254178926431389,0.0,0.0,0.13407316213632728,0.12488400835238828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250866078281368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674567777332139,0.2453692196509485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053993963684764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060170385121798516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919397306293433,0.0,0.3730380699576488,0.0,0.06763090271070077,0.09981223349193506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21320270327849067,0.1174886630837206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595274690577314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719182698471325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242059282827316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961991991454668,0.09700154299511987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168639079986572,0.0,0.11627556962809328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993070929929512,0.0,0.0,0.10117023317214784,0.0,0.0,0.07943396474665326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988079657779628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715164352126381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390691723669147,0.0,0.0,0.11249422993258083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386770378138017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623496609049754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191405706919804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984386997713004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947379930360877,0.0956483434257596,0.0,0.0,0.1360877972845029,0.13816911242310284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944733506386346,0.2081709879103778,0.27354785078974275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162464998982882,0.12388404002270705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425439838737124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663262005986965
mentalhealth,Cardnyl___,2019/01/22,"Feeling distant, empty, and worthless. As of recently I've felt emotionally drained and have had trouble enjoying things I normally enjoy. Along with this I've lost all desire to hang out with friends. And as a musician preparing for college music auditions, I've lost all sense of worth. I feel as if I'm not as good as I should be. I feel that this may just be me getting ready to change things with going to college.",4.7414814814814825,6.252857160493829,5.408333333333335,80.33250000000002,69.98765432098764,8.85679012345679,33.25308641975309,9.2995712137729,3.113434567901234,334,16,62,7,6,108,54,81,0.181,0.622,0.196,0.3387,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,1,8,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,2,21,15,9,0,4,3,0,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,4,0,2,2,1,4,0,0,4,4,5,4,16,7,2,4,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,41,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26471078586958097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814757347410947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795723161697092,0.0,0.2402606087421995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933275338710119,0.0,0.1307351559027682,0.0,0.14221181142287526,0.20988154760804584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5463124988477907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24517285018002025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24707252055402845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324841715464583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tokanome,2019/01/22,"Severe rage issues Recently things that would be a minor annoyance, or above, just anything slightly irritating has sent me into a blind rage. I SERIOUSLY start wanting to destroy stuff, I'm not even me. And it scares me, because as of a month ago I have had 3 panic attacks, for no reason at all, just anxious situations, stuff that would normally cause it, and (this hasn't happened yet) but I am becoming so unbelievably pissed off that I am very close to having a panic attack, I mean shit starts going bad. I have anxiety, and I have an obsessive disorder, so if a bad thought is in my head it stays there, and all I can do is wallow in it, and then my mind starts to embrace it, and then it's like I'm in two places at once, one place I'm sitting down or in my room freaking out, like mindbogglingly enraged, and in my head I'm doing terrible, horrible things that I know I am very well capable of getting up and just doing them, it's so vivid, and I'm beginning to be afraid that I will snap and lose it, any pointers? (my whole life I've been overly-irritable so I am good at self-control, but I don't know if I can remain calm every time for much longer)",8.491525423728818,5.567975271186441,8.964000000000002,72.82930508474577,63.23728813559321,12.32135593220339,37.58305084745764,10.577609850970193,3.6734623728813567,908,33,188,17,10,307,138,236,0.297,0.617,0.086,-0.9949,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,1,11,25,9,5,6,0,25,6,4,2,2,36,43,23,0,6,10,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,18,13,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,20,1,2,4,2,23,5,22,34,4,32,0,1,2,0,2,17,2,4,13,131,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025893443022386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870165894011458,0.0,0.08853458484264243,0.13074410244034768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523749067510057,0.0,0.0,0.2633234820920094,0.0,0.0,0.19326260063536466,0.07054909055309858,0.1278167882347288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118888538587502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980316396922814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263878111724794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643982682877905,0.0,0.0975091151496007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046513980446184,0.0,0.065773104412138,0.09707042479021966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234133478031857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375486310496587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207940329362784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720644847000132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174486182826002,0.11308151858394964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947439026949015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606596438467718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685622505556825,0.0,0.09237609646625228,0.0,0.08507626097150701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339268737644427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325069379493983,0.07842292893520966,0.0,0.0,0.2715728918555225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418304012920136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118991665786969,0.114271286816309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586781902595335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073360931867592,0.13074410244034768,0.11879712970829374,0.0,0.13008750180650008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457468982336324,0.1233548041540602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649706681288608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377426046196035,0.0,0.0,0.09187819926490896,0.06748420014430669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305324738990867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909818717834586,0.06826167167660008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104056874726699,0.0,0.0,0.12921053057422724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442523899794534,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,moake740,2019/01/22,"Reaching out for help For some reason this week my anxiety has been extremely high. I have been walking around everyday waiting for the other shoe to drop, I’ve been extremely on edge expecting something bad to happen. It’s gotten to the point where I flinch when people talk to me and I am talking the anxiety meds more often I don’t know what’s going on but I need help relaxing ",3.20674285714286,5.505906626666667,4.479238095238099,82.03200000000002,76.06666666666666,8.019047619047619,26.714285714285715,8.841846274778883,2.356028571428572,307,12,56,7,7,101,56,75,0.086,0.767,0.147,0.765,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,7,1,1,1,0,11,13,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,0,7,1,11,9,2,13,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,2,3,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802925923094565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212694412740071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20753566395188744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126131853212834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197991416190148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332065626505807,0.2626153208539833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136601052947605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27609205923015145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430271074831855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172318917333128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349677826349411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555591643975924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913521990084133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3995632341485459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937834647069225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gladrielle,2019/01/22,"I just scared myself with my reaction to my cat’s misbehavior My (26f) cat has been misbehaving and peeing all over my bed and couch in my apartment. Today I just lost it on him. When I saw him doing it I grabbed him and rubbed his face in it very hard... then I picked him up and shook him hard. 

I feel immediate disgusted with myself. I started shaking, lost my appetite (I was cooking), and very soon after developed a migraine. I feel horrible. 

I love him. I’ve never been a cat person, but I do love him. He was gifted to me by my mom. Why did I do this?! I’ve lost my temper with him before when he did this about a month ago. I rubbed his face in it and held him tightly so he couldn’t move and he was meowing trying to get away. 

I had exactly the same bodily reaction as above. 

I had a dog who I NEVER lost my temper with, even when he was naughty! We just connected! I’m so scared that, what if, I’m the future I don’t bond with my children like I haven’t bonded with this cat?

I’m so afraid to tell any of this to a counselor. ",0.5902272727272724,2.488111386363638,2.8990909090909125,92.08863636363638,82.86363636363637,6.181818181818183,20.0,7.348242739294969,0.4294090909090911,795,22,183,12,22,272,112,220,0.155,0.7909999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9436,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,4,12,15,3,5,7,0,17,7,3,1,4,30,32,17,0,2,5,1,8,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,11,14,1,2,2,1,0,3,5,12,0,0,16,9,43,3,23,15,2,24,0,4,1,2,24,8,0,1,14,126,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956099016716655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939302107282676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373210384956507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437040507080688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653653329693082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780459900800133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636195978193115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618592186314836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140582492749037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6381985438776375,0.0,0.2638281133973641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117946326258,0.11666258915434148,0.15534371287796825,0.0,0.0,0.2254534108038578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762025874721306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29266098664761625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345197701318697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774926563736586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854148745013928,0.0,0.0,0.0992322561178509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24119269482165714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188561672389248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Markus2822,2019/01/22,Trying to get help with self love I’ve never had anything or anyone help me with a bit of a fucked up life not totally bad but worse than most and today I totally let everything out around my girlfriend I poured out my heart with all the problems I was having and she was totally supportive of me but she kept telling me I don’t love myself and I know I’ve always hated myself with a passion I’ve always thought I was the worst person out there to the point where I got comfortable joking around about it I’m trying to find help on different ways to get help with self love and please don’t just tell me to get a councilor or psychiatrist or something like that ,6.808634920634919,5.87956357777778,6.878095238095237,80.10000000000005,65.07407407407408,10.084656084656084,31.137566137566136,9.23628265651192,2.41742328042328,533,16,108,8,7,171,78,135,0.132,0.5870000000000001,0.281,0.972,1,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,6,13,2,0,7,0,8,7,1,0,5,32,22,9,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,2,14,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,7,0,17,8,21,14,7,12,0,0,0,5,15,9,1,4,3,75,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278048191480885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571579988491027,0.0,0.11264778117736733,0.24372002699980086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429639206061798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944706590694573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301961304142116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302678579934705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125113841554884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655144762876086,0.2145561728664712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094824419037737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514930478437884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221383303453454,0.3670145862805599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523047945731498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997802585091154,0.09668857550035652,0.06687693087224289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37064233596656576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557704630225673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195259802796467,0.0,0.15026274538833767,0.12940411924517828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309840507120338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856096502937308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538365090154952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533973626584768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239293609889262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086743803558649,0.0,0.0,0.12975453317077595,0.0,0.0,0.18587695722104325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865592158018768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950133544718074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nigerian-prince-69,2019/01/22,"help, and assistance please so yeah this is a joke reddit account one for memes, but at high school, it's hard to by myself, i just cant the entire day. only at the end, its affecting me terribly, worsening depression, and making me more afraid.",1.727517730496455,4.441913276595745,3.2820212765957457,85.4841666666667,86.44680851063829,7.388652482269504,20.599290780141846,8.344100000000001,1.6443078014184391,192,6,36,5,6,63,43,47,0.27,0.608,0.122,-0.9103,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,3,1,2,0,0,2,0,6,3,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,4,1,5,3,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,24,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276907521771096,0.0,0.3040850659557601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127012300162933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31626721715231104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23664478884367965,0.3730211473402248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23566642065493285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239238663688417,0.2685136290654783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875474924728163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35730970004078755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cassandranichole,2019/01/22,Only treating the symptoms I dont know if I should post this here or else where but i feel like my psychiatrist isnt trying to help me get to the bigger picture with what's mentally wrong with me and want to just put me on more and more pills. She thinks its nothing more than depression and anxiety (I also have a gender psychiatrist but hes never available) but there has to be something else that's causing it because in the last year and a half I've been in hospitals 7 times due to my mental health and never taken serious. Its normally just brushed off as you have depression or maybe because you have gender dysphoria but there has to be a bigger problem if my depression is cause my head to almost explode from time to time. I'm from central Alberta if anyone has any ideas or resources ,6.492222222222222,6.471929248407648,6.921613588110407,76.50850672328382,65.43312101910828,10.03510261854211,34.00495399858457,9.725611199111238,3.1900550601556965,640,26,119,12,9,209,99,157,0.077,0.8079999999999999,0.115,0.7441,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,7,8,0,0,6,0,14,4,1,2,2,32,21,17,0,7,12,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,2,2,15,2,18,16,3,17,0,3,0,0,5,7,0,7,9,86,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732994619547854,0.0,0.0,0.11766021041024592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005378763028676,0.0,0.11255443238524007,0.0,0.0,0.1028770689301756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937877851039155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022871119034575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3801698609516525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243585421113478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458173124296528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439360329479558,0.10511006102528506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686961543764399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509983436371595,0.1563928449790969,0.0,0.0,0.09861847504948222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609242954942596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085907687222381,0.11993099751571452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188053211126094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781236634661754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965458839220569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269522290560501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415665456586038,0.14117568614158374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111899377788251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091035162725704,0.0,0.0,0.14078402134295812,0.0,0.14790679363227233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326824966147993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292492829365875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427528570781546,0.0,0.0,0.2573789391698584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989195390705423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678138292378113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608641085318691,0.0,0.0947472203249932
mentalhealth,123465a6789,2019/01/22,"ESA letter from therapists in LA? HOA not accepting my current letter because of their own rules... Hi there!!! I’m sure similar questions have come up before, so please feel free to point me in the right direction, but do any of you have recommendations for therapists who have written ESA letters here in LA? I am moving to a new place that has a weight restriction on pets and have a gentle giant of a dog that blatantly exceeds it. The HOA would not accept the ESA letter I have, however. In order to verify the authenticity of the letter, they need to have a board member physically go and get a copy from the clinic. My therapist is online and conducts her practice through phone and video chat so she is not authorizing this request (although she is willing to fill out any additional forms if the HOA requests them). I’m kind of at a loss right now; just trying to meet the necessary requirements and still keep my dog. ",5.18506631299735,6.8597459770114995,5.97367816091954,76.07375331564987,69.11494252873564,9.26189213085765,30.051282051282055,9.661875296680813,2.953195048629531,736,29,131,17,13,241,114,174,0.064,0.8809999999999999,0.056,-0.3456,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,3,2,7,6,0,0,15,0,14,2,0,0,2,25,23,10,0,3,6,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,5,8,1,3,4,2,1,4,3,1,0,0,1,2,13,6,23,20,2,22,0,1,0,0,20,13,0,2,4,90,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23858843884683198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069367380802956,0.0,0.14927275810868967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111209580387644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869955896063933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165171042696313,0.0,0.09969740480148284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592475966761898,0.0,0.18267692320852072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18644776836528684,0.0,0.1300745465950513,0.0,0.16942542741618294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832805644982267,0.192562685719557,0.16583222062545475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651483637944825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299621983344865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009369663618892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533488300405086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6110417596183348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910126493217026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21361896456098092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461605513737573,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RingerNG,2019/01/22,"Something is wrong with me and I don’t know what I am 17, I am a 3.7 gpa male student, and I have familial issues and a history of mental health problems in my family. I had body dysmorphia growing up (middle school) and I was very depressed freshman and sophomore year (sophomore it was the worst) but I never reached out. I’ve gotten better but in the last couple of months I’m not as busy since I don’t do a winter sport, and my insecurities, my lack of confidence, my general worry is catching up to me and I don’t know whats wrong with me I feel like I’m in over my head and there’s nothing wrong but I’m in constant worry. I’ll have days of completely calmness and a great sense of self and then days like today where I’ll actually end up feeling that but also extremely insecure and stressed. I feel so mentally unhealthy I don’t know what to do and I’ve already reached out to my school counselor",3.4197926267281105,4.701297876344089,4.8806758832565285,83.73387096774195,72.92473118279571,7.894930875576037,29.414746543778804,8.418075326091056,2.119919815668202,719,30,146,12,14,241,101,186,0.214,0.6509999999999999,0.135,-0.9377,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,14,0,3,6,0,15,3,2,0,1,31,25,20,0,2,5,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,16,0,0,6,1,0,2,6,9,0,0,4,3,21,5,21,21,2,25,0,1,0,0,2,12,0,0,13,93,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.12760749877491984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430211464127496,0.10457249531842763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565076391012352,0.0,0.14525011953812172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710431574442247,0.14131020186773133,0.0,0.0,0.14468866993093346,0.0,0.16866484652284675,0.0,0.11262745739322605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581872444072365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465466710263676,0.0,0.19835570678841466,0.09341833850340543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416855989567526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342023231815686,0.13899677718057216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648438869033652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155946026662047,0.1065906956354915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777006910802466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635601530034138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043751479218096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085380957471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547227075867098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512417206687138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646817454914733,0.0,0.0,0.13641611643954346,0.0,0.0,0.10816992350940327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066906617073458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149790539191583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394965987584282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789458464000456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26559583104701073,0.0,0.0,0.4289120640962338,0.0,0.08420818915182385
mentalhealth,PeopleNotPatients,2019/01/22,"For-Profit Psych Hospital in Texas Hit with Criminal Indictments; Dr. Sreenath Nekkapalu Arrested "" A grand jury has indicted Sundance Behavioral Healthcare System on 11 additional counts of violating the Texas Mental Health Code for allegedly holding patients involuntarily and illegally at its Arlington hospital. ""

"" Dr. Sreenath Nekkalapu was indicted Nov. 14 on allegations that he violated the Texas Mental Health Code by detaining a woman at Sundance hospital in Arlington for 17 days without obtaining a court order. ""

Full story: [https://www.star-telegram.com/news/local/community/arlington/article223102785.html](https://www.star-telegram.com/news/local/community/arlington/article223102785.html)

This story gives me hope that maybe the tide is turning! Mental health patients deserve civil rights just like everyone else. No one should have the right to stamp someone else with a label (accusation), without any fair hearing or trial, and take away their liberty because of that. ",16.04930449533503,19.86934348091603,11.795063613231552,36.42294317217985,45.48854961832061,13.150466497031386,45.85326547921967,12.45797560212912,7.1910553011026295,840,41,79,24,9,241,97,131,0.123,0.7959999999999999,0.081,-0.7231,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,1,1,1,5,2,0,8,0,5,5,0,0,0,12,11,3,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,1,5,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,1,2,3,17,8,1,13,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,2,2,44,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871030965186147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019377070387316,0.0,0.0,0.09744919717029532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309650149447666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267085102772529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275311973919778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335231784376815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5097712442782152,0.1801738843772624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877709086439565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780995411451107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060089774203712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4833039652572827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832530092967516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273039202950111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354488938959549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019485593529593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17388181954163254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30819874963300514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KattChaos90,2019/01/22,"Emptiness! I feel so Empty. 

About two weeks ago we were evicted from our house.  We had 20 minutes to grab what we could. Thankfully we got all the critters out. But I wasn't able to grab any of my Art/Crafts supplies.  All my coloring stuff,  polymer clay stuff, MP soap stuff,  Candle making stuff, Painting stuff... nothing. 

These things keep me going and some what grounded. We now live in a Extended Stay in a not so good neighborhood and I'm losing my freaking mind. All I can think about is Hurting Myself one way or another. 

We are so tight money wise that I have no idea when I'll be able to get even a 8th of my craft stuff back. I just don't know what to do anymore. 

I thought about getting a kitten to help since someone donated so much cat food. I'd want to adopt one from a shelter but we don't have the money for that.  

I'm just so Lost & Empty, my soul feels like it's dying a little every damn day! 
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mentalhealth,Hardy326,2019/01/22,"A story to hopefully help others. Love you all. Hey,everyone, I’ve been on this page for a few days now and would like to tell my story. My reason for this is that if I do, maybe it can help some one else out their.  I’ll be honest, I am super nervous about it, but I hope someone may find some help in it. When I was about 7 years old, I had a great uncle, who was “the fun uncle” get hospitalized. This is believed to be where my anxiety had begun. I was put on medication at the age of 9 and shortly after I turned 10, he passed away. This being my first real loss, I didn’t know how to react, especially when I was taught that the men of the house weren’t supposed to cry or get emotional. (I had misinterpreted what was meant as a be a big boy situation.) My 6th grade school year things got so bad that the school had released me for threatening my own life. As the years went by I continued to try and cope on my own. (I had stopped seeing my psychiatrist in the summer between 5th and 6th grades.) In the summer between 8th and 9th grade, I finally met my Grandfather on my mom’s side of the family and around Christmas time my 10th grade year, he passed away. I remember the last phone call I ever had with him. He had called me while I was at Lunch, and he was drunk. (That was common for him,unfortunately). I told him that when I got home I would call him back, he passed away a few hours after that phone call. I still regret it, but at least I got to tell him I loved him. The rest of my school years would pass, I would graduate, and get a job at a local grocery store. I would pour a lot into this job. So now I lived with my Mom, My dad, and my Grandma on my dad’s side. She was in bad health when we moved her in in February 2017, and I loved her to death, but like with anyone who you live with, we butted heads. So one day at work, I get a call that she had been put in the hospital after collapsing. In the mindset I was in, I thought I would go visit on one of my days off, the next one being that upcoming Tuesday. I got a call at 9:48 that Sunday night telling me she had passed away. So in April of 2018, as a result of her passing , I had a major panic attack. I also contemplated suicide that night as well. About 6 hours after that attack, I went into work on Monday. Things were different though. I felt nothing and I Chalked it up to the grieving process, however we got to July and I dealt with these Anxiety attacks and Depressive times even though the grieving process had ended. In late July, I went back to my old psychiatrist and was diagnosed with GAD and Severe Depression. I thought my life was basically over. I took the meds I was prescribed,and for a good little while, they helped. Then my psychiatrist retired in October. So I was left in a bad place mentally, where would I go from here? So I went to a therapist and since I started seeing him, things have been very back and forth with this battle, but then about a few nights ago, when things were getting pretty bad,I found this place, I found a place where my experiences in dealing with what I have dealt with for a majority of my life can be used to try and make someone feel better and help them in their times of need. 

All of this to say, I love each and every one of you. I hope all goes well for you all, I will keep all you in my thoughts and I hope that maybe, if we keep pushing forward through everything we each have to face, that we can all see a brighter tomorrow. Take care of yourselves and keep on fighting. I love all of you. ",4.420553250345783,4.600253932226835,5.21790871369295,86.2692420470263,69.84370677731674,8.584343015214385,26.71673582295989,8.447377352677275,1.482038229598893,2735,77,609,39,45,891,299,723,0.136,0.743,0.121,-0.9474,5,0,0,1,2,1,91.0,6,6,4,6,35,36,5,2,37,0,57,15,2,6,8,98,108,53,4,15,8,4,2,2,0,9,6,1,1,2,36,43,2,4,12,1,1,19,2,16,2,6,52,6,106,20,102,41,22,131,0,6,3,5,68,55,0,11,61,426,142,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04447558978316834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040123557809316056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676485123998507,0.0,0.0,0.03508232739071697,0.0,0.0,0.04466486091722748,0.0,0.17123806448109047,0.18855781107727215,0.11574047723361755,0.16757038861587115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056528110693856624,0.0,0.04437419320739583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073952015692007,0.0,0.051155007832115525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511299750929578,0.0970728540891906,0.0517264536327956,0.08642835353355201,0.050924828036554536,0.0,0.052420403883641366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041913341440629436,0.056438192375641065,0.04443863820355565,0.0,0.0,0.03313898148249513,0.04538460866896333,0.042273156486279766,0.0479427238531019,0.04509251327816293,0.04907910013306604,0.047298907697948346,0.0,0.0253691203851708,0.0,0.048174221728041484,0.05496238115975437,0.0458574734350698,0.04267737050692074,0.0,0.11002483437326918,0.0,0.0,0.13106735267760586,0.0,0.05702926810764141,0.04208297092072843,0.2006407967661388,0.05531622373211766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149226530287553,0.05333185564264268,0.0,0.0,0.16815047631301538,0.0,0.05032789563667515,0.19933357130793133,0.09882115798046376,0.0578932343831549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957848680147384,0.1337889628332422,0.0,0.0,0.027573925237584673,0.04089792373456163,0.056597650764336975,0.0,0.054513420851474405,0.0,0.10631662478057584,0.04902426530557059,0.05028681246706077,0.08860785957196679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042655532610347074,0.2264167426010842,0.0,0.0334910572742737,0.0,0.1008116168645549,0.0,0.05573120876910834,0.05054430604185205,0.05056287029903718,0.0,0.0,0.11752468976265686,0.0,0.05332626155789973,0.0,0.03720285501172215,0.0,0.0,0.05335985769717661,0.14125268714802652,0.0,0.048142620044800036,0.0,0.1052968449001343,0.0,0.1699935817233232,0.0,0.0,0.058867539394787775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572612116509241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104426836722927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087601856231722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057108182548861935,0.0,0.05158649322843579,0.0,0.0,0.0568365510970285,0.0,0.0,0.039899809962562635,0.0,0.15233412883511402,0.11994483633028075,0.0,0.0,0.056681530681920486,0.0,0.04150385974765986,0.056396874408493676,0.0,0.0,0.08502332295862762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03551290929437705,0.0,0.040068450134506266,0.04194711278936042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05488143022952755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03772406610423263,0.0,0.1315609874451628,0.0,0.0,0.0582550508772466,0.13333160425252846,0.0,0.09858999534579227,0.1194959514065182,0.08776933772832157,0.0,0.0,0.0479427238531019,0.05574436564110021,0.06812873397558031,0.05457412635232877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04333360886955522,0.0,0.04139821461592775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022361739302423,0.18604455107651116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305349793972776,0.0,0.0,0.2494916343694147,0.0,0.0,0.1615497524068181
mentalhealth,Cookie-Jedi,2019/01/22,"At the end of my rope and constantly want to kill myself for feeling this way Also posted in r/healthanxiety

IMPORTANT: I am not currently in danger of hurting myself and i have the suicide prevention number in my phone. I AM however always contemplating killing myself to free myself from this constant health related anxiety. 

I am a 26 year old american guy, no health insurance. 

For the past 8 years now Ive been battling some absolutely crippling health anxiety. After almost dying doing some drugs in college I really shouldnt have (K2/spice), I have been in constant fear that I am dying for one reason or another ever since.

 Ive convinced myself I had heart failure and had multiple echos, EKGs, ultrasounds, etc of my heart done, all clear. The stress from all of that caused me to develop migraines really badly within the first year. Those migraines caused me to convince myself I had an aneurysm or meningitis, so I had CT Scans, MRIs, angeograms, a spinal tap, all came back clear and I was told it is just migraines. This has been going on for years and this past summer I spent a month in an inpatient facility for actually trying to kill myself over it.

Now, after recently reading about a brain eating amoeba killing a woman in seattle for using a neti pot, ive been sleepless and at a 12/10 on the anxiety scale convinced Ive got only a week left to live. 

I'm at the end of my rope, I dont know how to stop feeling this way all the time. I have constant panic attacks, I spend a lot of my days crying and I am just so paralyzing AFRAID that I'm dying I can hardly function.

Please, what should I do? ",8.396655913978499,7.102549654838715,8.609354838709683,70.14736559139789,62.1290322580645,11.621505376344087,36.79569892473119,10.650279960617883,3.900821505376344,1283,50,227,26,15,424,168,310,0.18,0.732,0.08800000000000001,-0.9874,2,0,1,0,0,5,35.0,0,0,0,1,11,17,7,4,19,0,31,12,4,5,7,37,43,13,8,3,5,0,3,0,0,2,7,0,0,2,12,8,1,2,4,1,3,2,4,13,0,2,14,4,36,5,38,27,8,48,0,1,1,0,4,15,0,6,28,163,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.08387131983174198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606293683640527,0.0,0.0,0.06873133071846538,0.07151431655280817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012232789012624,0.19724635598880666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777647417154896,0.0,0.06608750114718355,0.07176168083918685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594464244274688,0.0,0.09829982195979266,0.0,0.17658132165261747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715102403892865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440811995535092,0.05542833854944915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675964820610355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795304002736065,0.10072857835442496,0.0,0.09967057507826443,0.08794465661378507,0.0,0.0,0.15224605721966394,0.0,0.0958529907322501,0.0,0.07774346838281591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671363067064837,0.08691419696709382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310599125944385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884533801272528,0.0,0.06873921312605033,0.0,0.0,0.08510048028218037,0.0,0.0,0.0769911215839569,0.0,0.0,0.274071114936336,0.0,0.2036938717672148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200743317579207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803479724902841,0.0,0.04723391140230933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338104997926258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758922741776672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306858311885141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860162214507734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018632276873667,0.0,0.058239526718786565,0.06536613452533008,0.0,0.10083961990494324,0.0,0.0,0.16409118900890118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434337324365392,0.0,0.0,0.08231292418719728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596969044975435,0.0,0.11011897040640337,0.08836724658216279,0.08486173306823024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109577679940639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185506568265725,0.0984513476160659,0.0,0.0,0.09401144707392388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050116055734762535,0.0,0.0,0.08212549904850461,0.0,0.0583519857406406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423012227860044,0.0,0.0,0.05069343246237119,0.13644055468679656,0.06894104364149943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213867376951532
mentalhealth,Eliscu2,2019/01/22,"Human Rights in Mental Health? Are you crazy? A new issue of World Psychiatry features an important commentary by Dr. Dainius Pūras and Dr. Piers Gooding on coercion in psychiatry and international human rights laws. Dr. Pūras, the United Nations Special Rapporteur on the right to health, has previously called for a radical shift in global mental health treatment approaches and policies. In this new commentary, Pūras and Gooding demand action and resources to address coercion and human rights violations in psychiatry and mental health treatment.

“Coercion in psychiatry and broader mental health services is rising worldwide,” they write. “This fact demands not merely discussion but action.”

https://www.madinamerica.com/2019/01/united-nations-rep-brings-attention-human-rights-violations-psychiatry/",16.157896825396826,19.575001324074076,12.497513227513233,32.94166666666669,45.01851851851853,12.83809523809524,45.98412698412699,12.28987398476788,7.045768253968254,685,33,61,18,7,202,66,108,0.047,0.907,0.047,0.0926,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,5,0,3,8,0,0,1,13,3,9,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,1,3,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,13,3,0,21,0,0,0,0,8,15,0,0,2,35,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680725470549434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20832176891768647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6600167635542085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296173714618492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5005990001082675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398782111354922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242148683212907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AbbyLynn2018,2019/01/22,"I feel so scattered Sometimes I get in this weird mental space where I can't focus.  Even if there is something I want to do, my mind sometimes forces me to dwell on figuring out what I may have missed.  During that time, I feel like I am almost on autopilot.  Not where I can't control myself at all, but where it takes a lot of control that I can't always access to be able to take mental control of myself.

Is there a name for this?  Do you relate at all to what I described?

Any input and/or advice is greatly welcome!!!",3.235188679245283,4.487132471698119,4.271839622641512,88.03530660377363,73.33962264150944,6.054716981132076,24.57075471698113,5.985473137389443,0.6441735849056602,406,12,82,2,8,132,69,106,0.031,0.8690000000000001,0.1,0.7775,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,3,7,6,0,1,2,0,12,0,0,3,2,18,19,3,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,2,15,3,14,17,3,11,0,1,0,0,3,10,0,4,2,63,22,0,0.17571028222834534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170205419915394,0.0,0.0,0.17594846635400635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620503067121568,0.0,0.0,0.11948901727759315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5912220674029459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605498424868288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17768879639581836,0.1255274607325044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180137028985616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19372120646853908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858431684275902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938259849138485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541492739734697,0.0,0.17741729567967324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527035968707704,0.3475639240482329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26422452964256593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245807859200734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363847695471186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,worriedso6,2019/01/22,"SO is Suicidal - Need Advice Like the title says, I'm worried about my boyfriend/significant other because over the past month and half he's become increasingly depressed to the point where he's extremely suicidal. He says he won't follow through with it because he's too much of a coward, but I don't think that's going to be the case for much longer.  I live in the US.

For some background, before he dated me he was with someone who he describes as being pretty much perfect for him. They dated for a few months, and he was happy, then the person he was dating came out as trans. He didn't know how to voice the things he was feeling, and if he did, was too scared to. That relationship ended because of it and it crushed him. He became severely depressed and was having suicidal thoughts. 

Several months later we go on a date, and start a relationship. Things were good for about a month. He relies on his parents because he's still in school working on an engineering degree. His mom doesn't like me, and when he told her about us being in a relationship she blew up on him and he was forced to break things off. This triggered a very bad downward spiral for him. His mom would continue to make remarks about me to him, and it kept messing with his head and making him doubt himself. 

Then, it led to him thinking about his ex again. Once he started, he couldn't stop, and still hasn't. He's angry at himself for not being able to talk to them, and breaking things off the way he did. He goes between wanting to rant to them over the whole thing, to going on his knees and begging for another chance. He'll have some good days where he's not focused on that failed relationship and his mistakes, but those are getting fewer and further between. 

I didn't know most of this until after he asked if I'd be willing to give a relationship with him another shot. Since then, a lot of this has come to light and I'm really worried about him. I don't have the ability or knowledge to help him in the way that he needs. Today was particularly bad because he and his ex go to the same school, and they ended up parking right by him, which didn't help him at all and only triggered more compulsive and suicidal thoughts.  


I don't know what to do to help him, besides telling his parents or calling 911. Telling his parents would very likely end badly because of how they've handled past issues and make his depression and self-loathing worse. I've tried getting him to see a therapist or councilor, but he keeps refusing saying that talking about his problems won't help him solve them. I'd appreciate any advice",6.5097324029537305,6.437192662082517,6.486213671160492,79.82117878192534,65.4047151277014,9.063911659101688,33.268816475848524,8.53829466247534,2.5296679222274907,2071,80,398,26,29,657,233,509,0.17800000000000002,0.732,0.08900000000000001,-0.9949,3,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,3,0,5,3,18,19,0,2,23,0,37,2,2,8,2,77,71,40,4,10,10,7,1,3,0,6,0,4,0,1,23,30,0,4,9,0,0,9,13,12,0,1,19,7,48,7,71,40,13,67,0,4,1,0,98,25,0,10,32,261,71,4,0.06424870395344677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255661798335044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04369132187027995,0.13474073608576795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006386525896356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609349523929132,0.2349924815706663,0.07095764575227413,0.0546709149237371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560511017221002,0.07348340127271343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534456948685811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04143509888731006,0.0,0.1660119437116667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17071584503129225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032486075176417745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713459209642353,0.061633211237484685,0.1460560762748297,0.10777752923407727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683939400582396,0.0,0.0,0.06593770600777571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722582078217622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705895459006768,0.0,0.05710720012345177,0.0,0.0,0.10592822233214384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416601427279002,0.0,0.05673278268171615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054621950545824735,0.0,0.0,0.12865952636486447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15049461111574675,0.205130810109004,0.0,0.14169056986922407,0.09527919977821801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842277285956015,0.0,0.048864034514077656,0.0,0.0,0.21402174725643194,0.0,0.12266531563190212,0.0,0.05609949010411256,0.0,0.0,0.060735792252376575,0.0,0.0,0.06536402974666591,0.0,0.06147733270644914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041159364934666966,0.0,0.0,0.3448953181988427,0.0,0.05486804212728926,0.0,0.15327944441379948,0.06432416093442649,0.1300462369509756,0.051197898743154634,0.0,0.0670254103451205,0.14516549560178227,0.0,0.05314719183807836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05443771836483062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095112668902812,0.0,0.10261819594131368,0.0537147933716056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811106165538036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328134908025904,0.11231239826314103,0.0,0.0,0.07459769725837627,0.21341992023065454,0.08233595048881336,0.0,0.10201258857832693,0.0,0.0,0.06090025894409847,0.06139238994523849,0.0,0.04362065258869965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456656024345736,0.0,0.0,0.1060238188603992,0.03789555021826284,0.10199526133447556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173138351052899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046773821676480205,0.13049535514206262,0.06547491824890085,0.0912808718063152,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pmr92,2019/01/22,"round and round in circles i go in recent months ive apply for job left rigut and center whit little to no luck. friemd have ferder distence themself from me. i was hanging with a old friend a few months ago. who just came back from out west. we were supposed to start a band together. Anyway he found work witch is awesome. im happy for him. but now all a suddent he stop awesring me and chilling.

for 2 month he bitch about his other group of friend amd didnt want to chill with them.anymore. now he ignoring me and hanging out woth them.all the time.

i know this sound posavtive. but like he shit talk his friend to.me for 2 months. now he wont talk to.me but hang out whit them. ok now that i type this out. seem quit 2 face. now. i dont care he hanging out whit them wtv. But like to shit them to.me.like that. how do i know he not shit talkomg me to them.

only time he reply is to ask me if found work. Then impolment that everyone esle found work why cant. must not be looking without saying it. witch fucking hurt cause i have been looking.


i when to see my mother docter. told her my problem. She tell me it not depression it adhd. give me Biphentin 10mg. for a week then 20 for a week then 30. nothing im eveing more depressed.

thing i used to injoying doing playimg game playing guitar i have little to no intersted in them.


tell the docter this. ohh well you dosage not high enought now im on 40mg bout to start 50 tomorrow. yay!!!!!

mood swing started to appreal againg. last 3 day this is tue pather.
neutral
mad
sad
neutral
mad
trow shit around yell at the top of lung break something.
sad. 
neutral... you get the point.


thing is ive been trought this beford. And if that docter would of tolk the time to get my files from mental health she would of seen that. but of crouce not that be too logical.

when i was 20 i was hospilized and dignosed with hyperactive adhd. told im making up bipolar systom. in the next 5 years this has happend idk ive lost count honestlly.

fast forward to september. in the hopital the lead phycristry tell me. base off my file history amd reasomd im their. (boxing match between me and family member that ended with cop being call by my mother) their a underline personality disorder most likey bpd. ok so your saying im bpd? nope. well wtf then. it might be a underline issus we need to assted in 3 month. go see mentap health.

week later im back in the hospital for a suiside attempt. now it the docter who dignosed me adhd wjen im 20. put me on mood stabilizer and pin me as possible bipolar. set up a appoiment with a other phycritrust at the mental 2 weeks later. go see him. he like med are workimg your good. compleat close my file. a 2 mineut appoiment. 

so a month later im at my mom place. gose compeate coco fuckimg crazy. my mom seggested i go see her docter. u know cause as it stand ive been told.possible bipolar.possible bpd. witch is it i thing i have the right to know. so i go see her amd here we are. she pull me off the mood stabilizer and put me on Biphentin.

now all these problem that got me in the hospital in September are comming back. with a fucking vengence. i dont what the fuck to do anymore. beside post about it on reddit. 

fun times. the good time never stop it seem",0.12783716679360424,2.4970230784615453,1.751593297791317,93.96712947448593,96.67692307692309,4.543488194973343,19.666412795125662,6.3446794020812325,0.2335626808834732,2531,86,524,32,101,817,307,650,0.139,0.7659999999999999,0.094,-0.9879,1,0,1,0,0,0,90.0,3,4,7,8,26,43,10,0,30,3,40,13,6,6,4,72,82,28,0,9,14,4,2,3,3,5,4,4,0,1,32,26,0,3,10,4,0,15,15,22,2,0,17,14,68,18,70,56,5,108,0,6,10,3,59,38,8,7,56,293,100,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867071658432911,0.0,0.04590443677381017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271396523974087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046099788535279414,0.04841215201596265,0.0,0.0,0.11945881876426298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19566486092388616,0.0,0.052878457837959914,0.05922844921362577,0.05279844144038303,0.10639528773363237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033397156468040354,0.0,0.08920499783337148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059350301758572525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213836885659069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04586629806765039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049482957878882065,0.0,0.0,0.0488184581357131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703393280783901,0.12002730284799365,0.1436236909950153,0.05411123749843373,0.04967706255327553,0.1471535534923153,0.08686990267257805,0.041417338429017216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05512628614216605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009044769561052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547138849711343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055437105322097606,0.0,0.5034319187291032,0.0,0.051388799717950726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383912063632708,0.042211832679592484,0.0,0.0,0.056264748663268783,0.0,0.0,0.07589886828056397,0.1038047079175212,0.0,0.0,0.08697301610361109,0.0,0.05652964034307175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034567009198307984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752165989798148,0.0,0.10437456114962708,0.054935891529660566,0.0,0.1213003518755635,0.2480066156083583,0.0,0.0,0.0383980541689664,0.03993992261224733,0.0,0.05507412551157536,0.0,0.0,0.049689276044371705,0.0,0.054339834308719734,0.0,0.0,0.039384962269902256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04521682098261209,0.0541044902937943,0.0,0.04895373274188645,0.05838000862071134,0.04959588687597583,0.0,0.0,0.09910284540258987,0.0,0.10411681640790857,0.0,0.05507991238522427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511316169958864,0.0,0.0,0.044224260041076234,0.0,0.08236330592322592,0.0,0.0,0.20633041564716592,0.09428656435799997,0.0,0.0,0.2126269688804513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03986676090136089,0.0,0.0,0.10996144900869184,0.0,0.0,0.08658945710538063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324593081929611,0.13578758729270501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321131592408632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098177202638968,0.0,0.0,0.14844887363664622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044725767960166016,0.0,0.0,0.030544240367902417,0.0,0.1661557883075344,0.0,0.09312219040409264,0.0,0.04672806950969974,0.0,0.0,0.04991906473809544,0.0,0.11310068152988338,0.0,0.0,0.07357341095156125,0.0,0.0,0.03334795752608536
mentalhealth,ValorMortis,2019/01/22,"I can't calm down I recently gave in to the pleading from my wife and 2 young children and got a puppy, ever since we got the puppy home I've been sick to my stomach when he's around. I'm finding myself nauseous, anxious and I can't focus. The only thing I constantly think is how I made a big mistake and just wish he was gone.  
I don't understand this behavior, I've always loved dogs and love making my family happy. I feel like before the puppy I've been in a boat with a leak that was steady enough for me to keep afloat, however with this addition now I'm sinking quickly.

Right now I'm writing this from my room because I can't stand to be in the same room as the puppy. Is this just an added stress on top of everything else that I have to stress about? I can't even fall asleep at night for the past few nights because my mind keeps racing about the dog, not even melatonin has helped.  
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mentalhealth,spoonfacejeff,2019/01/22,"Feeling overwhelmed after therapy I've recently gone back to therapy and commited to long term treatment for what looks to be adjustment disorder according to my psychologist.

Is it normal to feel this overwhelmed after it? For the first time ever I'm putting I'm place strategies that I've learnt so far but I just feel like there's a lot going on in my head at the moment. 

If anything I just want to hear if anyone else has experienced this just after a session",5.938014981273413,7.1113324831460725,6.635449438202247,73.90950374531836,66.86516853932585,9.978277153558057,33.934456928838955,10.125756701596842,3.6510883895131085,377,17,65,9,6,124,63,89,0.022,0.8809999999999999,0.097,0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,2,4,0,3,1,1,0,2,16,13,5,0,4,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,1,6,4,1,14,11,2,19,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,3,12,44,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420665170825567,0.2081794836688376,0.16719787065656158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562310495436123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328591567468048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972883159792332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837857908041904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081981307365863,0.14515013341148214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17282278107251156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547052454056647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085188564258765,0.0,0.2289959459540283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926232297713156,0.0,0.0,0.1798058014192883,0.17061803048615415,0.0,0.0,0.17273434811673652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19907093039698712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21227737033719246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042496276643244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006133897211893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647026346293464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847450502010395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198394253238004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,F00dbAby,2019/01/22,"Does suicide ideation fade with age? I've had fairly consistent suicide ideation since I was 13/14. Which has only gotten worse with age now that I'm 20. 

For those who are older how have things been going for you. Has life become bearable at all",3.0119148936170212,5.696945936170216,2.6377021276595762,92.89400000000002,79.0,4.611063829787233,22.16595744680852,5.6839178017228535,0.18987148936170195,197,6,37,1,5,58,39,47,0.228,0.772,0.0,-0.9201,0,0,0,0,0,2,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,1,4,10,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,5,6,1,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435254492176165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721981177976384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17677439365885847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197007198241825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365642099462645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573001507768537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.680466846156544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066448884879296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169820597270805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,serza27,2019/01/22,"Marriage after a suicide attempt I've (25 F)  been battling depression, anxiety, and paranoia for the last decade and two months ago it got really bad. I made an attempt on my life, had everything planned out and ready to go. But I'm the middle of it, i stopped before i could do any real damage. I had thought about my husband (at this point we were only married for 5 months) and it was like i snapped out of some spell. 
Anyway, my husband found out about my attempt and made me 201. He was infuriated, hurt, betrayed. He says it felt to him like i had tried to end our marriage, I've broken all trust he had for me, and equated my attempt to that of cheating. 
It's been two months. I've thrown myself into my work, going to therapy, being on top of my medications, talking through my emotions work loved ones, utilizing coping skills. 
But it seems I'm not doing enough for him. I almost feel hopeless, like he's never going to love me the same way again; like he's never going to forgive me; that's he's going to hold this over me for the rest of our lives together. When i ask how to get us back on track, he responds only with ""fix yourself first"". 
I've been fighting so hard and honestly feel like I'm doing this alone -without his help, love, or support. 
I have no idea what more i can do. I feel helpless. 
I could really go for some advice.. 

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mentalhealth,selenazen90,2019/01/22,"Worried about my sister She is 17. About 2-3 years ago she developed some concerning habbits.  It's normal for a teen to stay in there room,  but she takes it to the next level.... 

She gets out if school at 3, goes to sleep,  wakes up at midnight and repeats.  She will not cook if anyone is in the house because there breath germs will taint her food.  She won't use the same bathroom as the males in our house because they are disgusting.  She wraps the toilet behind my mom and I.  She seems to hate everyone but me,  and she is hardly open with me. She slams the door 30 times when she goes in her room to make sure it's closed.  She is vegan.  A class she wanted to go to I took with her,  today she didn't want to go.... I don't know why,  but she never leaves the house and has no friends.... So I was hoping she'd actually go even though I hated the class (never told her that).... I'm very worried she won't go seek help.  I can't talk about it or she'll shut me out like she did everyone else in the family.  She's so smart,  and artistic and pretty.  I don't know what to do to help her.... Any ideas? ",1.0660509031198655,2.708775982758624,2.5530541871921213,96.43545977011496,80.1206896551724,5.798357963875206,17.94417077175698,6.655083550727371,-0.2991743021346469,836,16,201,8,21,272,130,232,0.122,0.799,0.079,-0.8703,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,1,0,10,8,3,0,11,0,19,5,3,2,3,34,38,17,0,6,7,2,1,1,1,5,0,0,3,1,6,12,2,0,4,2,0,5,10,3,0,0,5,1,39,5,28,27,2,31,0,0,0,0,35,16,0,6,10,126,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.11957945294193682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086225809604277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333007076014641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568144831483597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14939610643600296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236481058829693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093522124333281,0.0,0.0,0.2341807013054075,0.0,0.0,0.11551796065680395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817348712830286,0.0,0.0946725874981678,0.0,0.06402106952106154,0.0,0.2785647732761745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977001696009313,0.2419618952480663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426933350084374,0.0,0.0,0.12170792502745599,0.0,0.4241773455621579,0.0,0.1383305343543907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468740678284735,0.0,0.0,0.1297500936798882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05986589782329445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179509474659881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351507412077688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901778487683027,0.0,0.13032059813048236,0.0,0.12006126414631466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466524222200386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401504078304194,0.0,0.1115540314863485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262653779045915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060924886708458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549065467244052,0.0,0.09213335774839557,0.09849143672757253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039300438225264,0.0,0.07145291787935433,0.0,0.11615173608594798,0.11709035065270375,0.1361442737343896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058335248771029,0.0,0.10110671810444588,0.1445522243780211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057152358609706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24888666015059244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789104816619548
mentalhealth,oh-msbeliever,2019/01/22,"Am I Allowed to Miss School Due to Mental Health? I’m in high school in Indiana, USA and I was wondering if anyone could help me? I’ve been diagnosed with depression & anxiety and school is a major factor into it. I only have two more required classes to take for graduation. Is it possible to do half or partial days at my high school? Some students I know have talked about 504 plans with their counselor but my mom said absolutely not to that because she doesn’t think I need it. I am struggling really badly. You guys know that, that’s why I’m here. Anyways, it’s time to schedule my senior year classes, anyone know if it’s possible to relax my schedule or calmly explain to my mom what a 504 plan is? They seem to just allow breaks and such but I really just need to go home and not sit in a classroom for seven hours. Any help is greatly appreciated!",3.9042914979757057,5.366119339181289,5.204327485380119,81.17858299595146,71.98245614035088,8.068556005398111,27.773729194781822,8.617729084823388,2.0733289248762925,681,25,131,12,13,227,106,171,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.117,0.8556,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,2,3,6,7,0,1,3,0,13,2,0,2,0,31,28,10,0,5,10,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,9,7,0,1,7,1,0,1,3,4,0,3,3,1,17,3,20,24,3,18,0,2,0,0,12,7,0,7,8,84,26,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627280357325114,0.0,0.08552857882494172,0.0,0.0962144549482658,0.0,0.0,0.17588398615726186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501351429537577,0.07666882164440764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041789292888416,0.0,0.0,0.08111187690371079,0.0,0.1083263602154327,0.12765489657639342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147854595485963,0.0,0.0,0.13866294873791932,0.0,0.12453304323630103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368866972710772,0.0,0.0,0.1686032726323689,0.2657678899668815,0.1261585470214179,0.0,0.1238590800198708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073613231574828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674756552925395,0.0,0.0,0.2946029018704905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651517509137047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565449724891067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835757635481454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114421983619653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963700262112832,0.0,0.0,0.5091477827552072,0.0,0.11449717596763775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314831354182125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456412407559033,0.10108994907711932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058896515441878,0.0,0.0,0.07333806947922611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228599715815516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134887464340225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639326206837266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099238713435078
mentalhealth,tryingtofixmyself34,2019/01/22,"Zoning Out When My Wife (and others) Are Talking So I'm writing this to hopefully get pointed in a few different directions of what could possibly be happening, not really an internet diagnosis.

**Background**
The only relevant thing I could think of from my history is that I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and loaded up with heavy doses of Adderall and Vyvanse through my school years, I stopped taking it around the age of 17-18.  I picked it back up when I was trying to go to University, but this time I was abusing it as a study drug.  I quit at 22, I'm 26 now.  The only other previous diagnosis I had was mild depression.  

There was a weird one where I had a single night terror and I went to a psychiatrist who told me demons are real and prescribed me zyprexa on the first time he saw me.  Not saying I don't believe in professionals, but yeah I took that medicine once and stopped when I found out what night terrors are and I've been fine since.

All that was in the US, I live in the UK now.

**The Problem**
When people are talking to me, I zone out after maybe the first 4-9 sentences.  I really hate it.  What I can describe from my perspective is that they will say 'A' and I will think of something that relates to 'A' and almost unconsciously start thinking of something that relates to that, and on, and on this thought tangent until I wake up out of it and realize I've missed 2-3 minutes of this person talking.  Then it happens again.

The worst is my wife, not because it happens any more with her, but because I love her and I hate how it effects her.  Especially when she's telling me something important when she needs someone to listen.  I want to be with her, but sheer willpower and determination isn't getting me places because I always revert back to my standard shit attention span.

She's said to me its because I'm selfish and I don't care, and I'm open to criticism.  But at the same time, I know that if she wrote it all down for me in a long email, I'd read every single word maybe twice over.  I have no issue reading people's comments or Whatsapp messages.  I'll read every word.  Its just when I'm listening.



What are some possibilities that I might be suffering from?  Other than a therapist, do you have any resources you'd recommend?  I first thought it might be narcissism, and if it is I'm willing to own it and get help, but my wife really doesn't think I match the description for it.",3.5651367981540503,5.187254686847601,4.771981650368089,83.30120069223166,73.11273486430062,7.881353697395892,29.3067245357653,8.532816995589336,2.205418371607516,1901,80,376,34,38,627,234,479,0.138,0.805,0.057,-0.993,2,0,4,0,0,0,54.0,1,2,1,5,18,16,3,2,22,1,38,6,2,3,2,75,77,40,0,8,13,3,0,0,0,5,3,5,0,2,37,28,0,2,11,3,0,3,8,12,0,5,18,6,56,4,56,47,10,57,1,3,1,1,36,25,1,8,29,272,93,5,0.0,0.10062076720046093,0.0,0.0,0.10206185474638073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503887710687204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066337032253912,0.0,0.0,0.11550213612485725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560015010793361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060225678885504,0.0,0.20707494023091072,0.0,0.0,0.09567999465380904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658543184646535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560942199428885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314470891140609,0.08619582742950606,0.0,0.08872725272034256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848459856027636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310385883979138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167083172506193,0.0,0.0931145180283258,0.0,0.0,0.13310747643485393,0.0,0.048264129126845016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225293398008112,0.0,0.0,0.16768925975361493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692260532745254,0.0,0.0,0.08434845426003361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863834017712897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667187682257624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498923479015739,0.07515485403729692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664700785394883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063466024684826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801813751391572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296989099646054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939038925669866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044103138294986,0.0575465367259729,0.12917669057511072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775088274109022,0.07415215041763136,0.08872725272034256,0.0,0.08028040173759225,0.19147755576582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126056785299009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032687082866137,0.2548402207666697,0.09666182955514363,0.16321300322331447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078194185009528,0.13506956298544326,0.0,0.08594737764763341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717301789820249,0.07024981075831542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195562514187008,0.1961353752948434,0.0,0.0,0.06010947349415794,0.0,0.0,0.14200012978197446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385209763547224,0.2047755011174467,0.07422710825283266,0.0,0.0,0.09860302932604613,0.05641957172050033,0.2176628619652128,0.0,0.13483995663264509,0.14855917987591294,0.0,0.0,0.08114829074682582,0.09435342064421924,0.05765765760204971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021528253058802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009023316840325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872517511143988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546881162553638
mentalhealth,Whomst_Is_Garth,2019/01/22,"[FL] How to go about getting diagnosis/medication? Insurance?  I (25M) have depression and anxiety and I want to get treated for it. I am about to start counseling (without insurance for privacy reasons) but I would also like to inquire about diagnosis and medication. This is something I have dealt with for a long time and I am finally trying to take a step forward and address it. I do not know exactly what I want or need but I know I would like insurance, so any advice would be very helpful, thanks. \[Florida\] ",3.3384375000000013,6.04530596875,5.239416666666667,74.59725000000002,77.85416666666666,9.256666666666666,33.55833333333333,9.642632912329526,4.073453333333333,407,23,70,13,10,139,61,96,0.039,0.774,0.187,0.9345,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,2,1,23,21,11,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,10,4,13,17,0,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,7,51,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19905152329270687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628973767552527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852176094682206,0.0,0.15582856527116548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544496097280646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22314142114953506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128478040846147,0.0,0.11576638115139687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653460952645952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22389440684171308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990333024200758,0.0,0.0,0.1802664967805263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262627794631713,0.2052045061223527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103963407274046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20943567524223095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568168259701445,0.0,0.0,0.14417863422017074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531556956670087,0.0,0.0,0.1875379346242807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877805837854345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829770653715198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807234780460625,0.2402929517155787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635779558301333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4341040701714141,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,antiheropajamas,2019/01/22,"Cleaning with DID Cleaning/organizing is the hardest thing for me to do. I don't know how to explain to people in my life.
Cleaning and organizing then shopping and mirrors.
Right now I need to explain to someone... I don't even know myself why it's so hard. Or how to make it easier? ",1.7468421052631555,4.088373070175443,3.8483333333333327,84.3925,81.45614035087719,5.905263157894738,28.798245614035093,7.1686216300943375,1.7679614035087727,223,11,43,3,6,76,39,57,0.035,0.911,0.053,0.2344,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,3,0,12,11,7,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,4,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,9,10,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474502471937803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356093603497509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117914498819055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646236537339818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500792127747705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27779537140656496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597324664763249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199457631168289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174364651862096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488982533188232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380598758321988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OneCellBoy,2019/01/22,"Struggling with what kind of person I am It’s almost like two versions of me are in an eternal death match which each other. One being and edgy, self-hating, hedonistic asshole and the other a generally content person. Usually one will stay “on top” (higher priority/presence) for an extended period of time. I’ll call them edgy/sad and normal/happy. Edgy/sad is usually how I am for a week to a month, where I’m normal/happy for multiple months. 

I love my family, but there are times when I just want to shut them out completely, and I start to, only to come back around again. I also actively want to do things that are super self-destructive like drugs and general self-harm. I’ve never gone past that point of thinking/wanting to do those things, but idk what’ll happen. 
On the contrary, normal/happy is fairly generic and I can’t describe myself like that in any other way than normal. It’s just what a human should.
I take 3 different meds, and they all fuck with how I act so I’m almost inclined to chalk it up to them, but once again, idk. 
If anyone has anything to say about me I’d love to hear it :)",3.6664973262032063,5.16504422727273,5.0116042780748655,82.18152406417114,72.63636363636364,7.72192513368984,24.304812834224602,8.313332769828598,1.511764705882353,870,25,167,14,17,290,134,220,0.057,0.794,0.149,0.9634,1,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,4,2,14,9,1,1,8,0,14,4,0,2,2,31,27,16,1,5,6,0,0,3,0,2,1,2,0,3,16,13,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,3,1,2,17,7,28,23,3,32,0,0,0,3,12,11,1,3,19,112,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148016914315968,0.0,0.0,0.08577214905374758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293738772091854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499550833476401,0.0,0.08826210116133368,0.09548009491740143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247282483449793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951981199632678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239107791005416,0.11245530452471082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205912289067714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243822770855922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111089800231823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991559403654466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484564512710326,0.3425262805231614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088469349496797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169005204211097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719879369957884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360447233455572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913663210543113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712205626880324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827220194099732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203502958018121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142235597223441,0.14535814494863053,0.08157260706241001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238746853112282,0.0,0.1873026535025855,0.0,0.0,0.10139107352259118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529384317286348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356724950558971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591596347974629,0.11432004482483354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212668979790844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064275446815923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425115176459734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508303731454226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477299524602228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362534627054434,0.0,0.12652409315393714,0.0851343882858057,0.08603385689360672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BittahKnightYT,2019/01/22,"My family thought my depersonalisation was me attention seeking Hi everyone,

When I was 13 my IT teacher told us as a class that we could be living in the matrix. This had one of the worst affects anything has ever had on me. That night I was sat around the TV with my family when I felt a deep cold sweat, a sickness and light headed. I ran upstairs and that’s the first time I felt depersonalisation. 

I had crazy thoughts about my family being aliens and wanting to kill me. I kept my window open every night for a quick escape. Even at school I would skip lessons and go home. Home wasn’t even safe. The worst part was the constant feeling of deep anxiety. It made me suicidal. 

Everyone thought I was attention seeking and when I would get really bad they would say “not this again”

I didn’t have a phone at the time and I honestly felt like I had a disability for years. Only until I turned 17 did I start to feel myself again. But in all honestly, I lost a part of myself. It gave me PTSD which has left me with always feeling out of my body, I think I have learnt to adapt to it rather than overcome it.

Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? ",3.237370709382155,4.99322312608696,4.573661327231123,83.83250572082379,74.26086956521739,7.798627002288329,24.71395881006865,8.532816995589336,1.5701304347826082,909,29,186,17,19,301,128,230,0.12,0.81,0.07,-0.9381,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,2,0,1,3,13,9,1,0,15,0,24,4,3,2,3,40,46,12,2,6,3,0,6,1,0,3,1,1,3,0,11,12,0,2,13,1,0,2,3,5,0,2,26,9,36,4,23,14,5,30,0,1,0,0,8,11,0,0,18,135,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289428553110878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540508715092811,0.0,0.0,0.07806200832447957,0.11438943475821997,0.09187106039520347,0.09938419153043196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321560201369156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400802359590928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206442989739307,0.0,0.08913628312622374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326176031613348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747570305360186,0.20197141770345128,0.09406238807312377,0.21335558880334485,0.0,0.10920635568092707,0.3157356995163065,0.0,0.1693471870867905,0.0,0.32157870733696875,0.0,0.0,0.0949618083964315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832783362311397,0.0,0.06344817366557702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457591162503634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22397012401082805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351426560722464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129831253526438,0.0,0.0,0.05454217110176077,0.0,0.0985810803611543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218693790472118,0.0,0.0,0.10563744786043802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20953509948567509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565085545097272,0.08490803880055317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417927258231781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050239705846625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152010654936805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878143296350624,0.0,0.11298668890836465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902010006604339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221171735764128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153506815703581,0.0,0.2658915370565041,0.1301975720534292,0.0,0.0,0.10667779440167242,0.0,0.0,0.12143338890178533,0.0,0.0,0.13429042060207422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658487756956208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379197670276089,0.0,0.0,0.0718931670453288
mentalhealth,AwakeningOrchid,2019/01/22,"How to know whether to push forward and risk a downward spiral or maintain stability and keep the status quo? I really struggle with indecisiveness and trying to know what I should do. I have mild autism, PTSD, Major Depression with Psychotic Features (I haven’t hallucinated much in awhile), and GAD.

My psych doctor thinks I should apply for disability, but my counselor doesn’t think I should be on it. She doesn’t fully agree with my psychiatrist about my hallucinations and thinks that I’m too rational to suffer from psychosis. Antipsychotic medication has helped me, though. When I have good days, I feel like I’m not trying hard enough, but when I push myself and apply for work or do something outside my comfort zone, extreme anxiety and other problems spiral out of control.

I just want to know what the “right” thing to do is. Life just isn’t that simple. Can anyone else relate?",6.805262563523433,8.290086590062113,6.7554488989271615,72.69834556747604,65.08695652173913,9.084359119141727,30.785431959345,9.339509955726095,2.8122000000000003,715,26,119,13,11,227,106,161,0.109,0.79,0.101,0.1192,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,10,9,0,3,3,0,16,3,0,2,0,35,27,16,0,5,8,0,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,7,11,0,2,7,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,0,2,18,3,17,23,3,11,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,3,5,83,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253384106112854,0.0,0.0,0.1302788657983701,0.19090625695501415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20897306487973116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016060764445165,0.0,0.16047663750711028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070581436185008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564596168012196,0.0,0.0,0.19251776007556867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420869354742137,0.13310662596409795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627588386365165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669055972966388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488597517228542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560925524444306,0.0,0.0,0.3071888303378753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160291160908294,0.09102625389526067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876972069259176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369662068325112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17828251537320314,0.21779742332627056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936098702841524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911576077583872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343778696572004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19478150487881687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237823390652016,0.3581578700449041,0.18305787739890755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529973023672901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989601723001724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564275180770435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mental_Mind_boy,2019/01/22,The same day Everyday I wake up doing the same thing I go to school go through my classes repeat and any breaks (except summer) feel so short and it feels like nothing new happens and I just don’t like this can someone please point me towards a direction that will be greatly appreciated!,5.312636363636365,6.849674400000005,5.434318181818185,80.5914772727273,68.63636363636364,7.6818181818181825,31.931818181818183,8.07648339933343,2.3405454545454547,232,10,42,3,4,73,47,55,0.0,0.804,0.196,0.8803,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,5,1,1,0,0,9,10,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,3,5,8,2,12,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,7,29,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901411253563812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032222405807455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827535825441709,0.19975001209825088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31781215947742203,0.0,0.0,0.3082657221772227,0.0,0.0,0.24725395662130625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273201956478726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700444463160262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682887322078191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069225478093604,0.264317292174531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829753917223684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369085802085464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18575727201208508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jtlean,2019/01/22,"I'm just not me lately I've been really depressed lately. I haven't felt like myself; I try to do things that I enjoy doing and just find no amusement in them anymore. For someone who doesn't cry a lot, I cry a lot now from like the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. I feel really lost and like my life is falling apart. I've tried talking to those closest to me, but nobody really seems to care at the end of the day. I've never felt so lonely in my life. Everything is just really starting to weigh down on me and I feel stuck at where I am right now with no idea of how to get out. ",3.469846153846156,3.319755792307696,5.089038461538461,87.51971153846155,71.84615384615384,8.038461538461537,23.17307692307693,7.6454224807358475,0.7926923076923074,463,9,107,5,8,158,80,130,0.162,0.746,0.092,-0.7368,0,2,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,8,9,0,0,6,0,8,5,2,1,1,21,19,6,0,0,5,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,7,1,0,2,6,3,0,0,5,4,16,6,20,14,2,24,0,3,0,0,3,12,0,3,13,72,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145228580893574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570316314107907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33550060516250674,0.0984885682253144,0.0,0.1315332418129451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526019889750973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725043253699215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443462751648915,0.0,0.2932607782812867,0.0,0.1395787816303632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978730631185067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239669376633598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445384381244826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157343008286572,0.22382656661287603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670650823248945,0.2596657349636388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177832548969973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913326653331635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304178113618053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902603856992768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939495942284535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809249267684183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274656593626347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014570880182714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20736697794297387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OblongStrombolian,2019/01/22,"I think I'm going to be sent to a psychiatric ward soon Lately I've turned to my friends to help with my mental health and cutting, but now one of them is going to tell the school counselor. This is a big problem because they are obligated to tell my parents, and they are the kind of people who would immediately not trust me for anything after they find out. It's pretty likely I'll be sent to a hospital. Any suggestions to convince my friend not to tell the counselor? Or just in general, how to talk to my parents after they find out?",6.235555555555552,5.857089962962968,6.835555555555558,78.11500000000002,66.03703703703704,9.422222222222222,32.814814814814824,8.841846274778883,2.5877481481481484,428,16,84,6,6,141,69,108,0.07200000000000001,0.795,0.133,0.7909999999999999,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,5,0,4,8,1,0,6,0,7,1,0,1,0,17,14,5,0,2,5,2,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,2,0,1,2,0,12,6,20,9,0,13,0,0,0,0,18,4,0,1,6,59,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986083405508595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504452916700367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074446580847368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32219149016402066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723515099932109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003418799400377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735299565778754,0.0,0.0,0.11814138127733907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18354458819730787,0.0,0.0,0.19882562288744635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611028862810508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17762564428765826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943633460597645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.391425177571056,0.0,0.0,0.12219444150204145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931677933429904,0.0,0.16865418710733535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838153847746466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416687354968211,0.4621692759897086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293839686984268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171705042530104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520794702051222,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,111010101110,2019/01/22,"i got called in to talk with the student councellor TL;DR: i need help opening up to her

for context, im in highschool, but only the second year of going to that one, so i dont know many people. the councellor filters in and out of our cl ass, as we have a couple special needs students

today i got called in, without knowing anything about what was happening and i was freaking out by the time i got to the room. she said she noticed how quiet i am and how ""sad"" i seem in lessons. she mentioned my ""situation"" (my dad died 2 years ago) and by the end i was red in the face, crying

this is kinda a rant/advice post. tell me if theres a better place to post this",4.635652173913043,4.2564831086956545,5.844746376811596,83.88277173913045,69.36231884057972,8.059420289855073,30.29347826086957,7.1686216300943375,1.6789826086956523,511,18,109,4,8,172,94,138,0.124,0.81,0.066,-0.882,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,2,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,10,0,7,2,2,2,0,21,18,10,1,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,9,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,7,3,18,2,23,11,0,21,0,1,1,1,14,12,1,3,6,74,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121879380832084,0.13717552630069416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273451253224288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368627900623555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160317735574364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122666887482085,0.16998435492827607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606048837244568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813645099861855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706155698841016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794734263613635,0.0,0.371300396841978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684390475726432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372489807737008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715532252485632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009185151146147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568910540137684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22948863594621705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618260139479322,0.0,0.0,0.10486183164438627,0.1176934803563301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072833739827922,0.0,0.16167962081426504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964132603601917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720160183624115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087754907682512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394420099690372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438127090847098,0.13525732340978824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023530401465536,0.0,0.14668382381867595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491723776424475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19930638283329746
mentalhealth,TrowAway024,2019/01/22,My friend is either losing his mind or already lost it. He did a nbome psychedelic and never realized that it's a brand new drug and is essentially a research chemical. He did one full tab and throughout time it got to him. Now he thinks hes lucid dreaming or someshit and he just looks lost in his thoughts or if hes just staring at colors. He cant hold a real conversation or a job. And most of the time when he talks its like hes talking to himself and not with the group. He looks dead man.. I wish him the best but I dont know what to do.. maybe he cant get healed and we should just move on.....,1.0506770833333334,2.8317210468750043,2.7668750000000024,94.22395833333336,80.71875,5.829166666666668,21.604166666666664,6.816661863887847,0.2727635416666669,466,14,110,5,12,154,83,128,0.063,0.868,0.068,0.1406,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,4,5,6,0,0,8,0,12,2,0,0,1,31,22,14,1,3,11,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,4,1,0,1,5,3,0,1,6,4,12,3,8,15,4,11,0,3,4,0,23,4,0,6,7,68,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262822234432146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269689757189612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152001959215433,0.0,0.21293983926770216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186364683202035,0.0,0.09593339145314757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468569533481251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182213605437956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091224510438307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970700823245188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308387565520753,0.20542278418686527,0.4008838360715383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447004738626446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540292833600133,0.0,0.0,0.1951580244910604,0.0,0.0,0.14161835536213896,0.17734045305554785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442504168143308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899871400903994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951721245850397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765569317179332,0.0,0.14577304021118612,0.2141395260238397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21115288177547897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aeithia,2019/01/22,"I have a tendency to space out most of the time. Background information:
I have a generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder(and possibly depression, and also possibly OCD because I have dermotilomania. I pick the skin off my lips and around my fingers obsessively out of urge or feeling anxious.) I also have hypochondria(but I'm aware of this these days)
On top of all of that, I was sick from the time I was 9 til' the time I was 11 and a half to 12 years old with esophigitus from damage to my throat from GERD and allergies. I then started having respiratory issues when I was 12(possibly from anxiety. My chest always felt tight. )
When I turned 16 I started having heart palpitations(sometimes worse than others). When I was 18 I was kept under watch at the ER for two days because I began having crawling sensations in my throat and on my tongue when I would try to eat or drink(I believe this might have been anxiety).



With all that being said... when I was sick when I was 9, I used to be afraid a lot. I couldn't eat any food. I could only drink milk because it was soothing on my damaged esophagus. I used to play video games a lot during this time because well.. I loved games. And it was an escape for me. I used to enjoy anime a lot too, and would even imagine myself in the shows a lot , and in my video games as well as a character(my inner self). But everyone in my imagination would treat me well, etc. Unlike in real life where guys didnt even notice me at the time. I used to really want a bf because I desired affection(probably because my mother would always be there for me when I was sick). My father wasnt really around much and when he was, he was a loving dad. But there were times where he wasnt so nice. There were times I'd have panic attacks(back when I didn't understand) and I sat in floor gasping because I felt like I couldn't breathe, and my sister ran and grabbed my parents because this was when I was still very sick. My dad did a ""you'll be fine, forget about you"" kind or gesture with his hands and went back to bed. At the time this was a bit hurtful to me. I felt like my dad wasnt there for me. My mom was always there for me though.

I started fantasizing a lot when I was young to the point of where it became a bad habit. I would often go in my room and talk to myself out loud. My dad heard me one day and he told my mom, so I started going outside to do it. It felt like a relief for me to be able to say whatever and not be judged or have to hear a response. It was like meditation for me in a way I guess. But I feel like all of these coping mechanisms to escape reality have always stuck with me. They went away for a while when I got together with my bf who I'm with now. Before him,  I spent most of my days in my room fantasizing about scenarios, and having friends. But over the last few years I began fantasizing again when I started watching anime again and when I became under a lot of stress again(I started experiencing disassociation, and not being able to fall asleep. I would jump awake every time I'd doze off.)

 It feels sometimes like I have little to no control over my thoughts. And Its gotten to the point where I've deemed reality boring at most times  and my mind wants to escape to a place where I can be whoever I want to be. I'm 26 now, so obviously this probably isn't healthy at all.

But I just feel spaced out all the time when I try to just play games at night when I'm home. And i feel like I dont get to enjoy them much anymore or anything for that matter because I feel so disconnected with myself. And feel like deep down I want to talk to myself about the things I'm angry about or fantasize when I'm feeling sad, angry or bored.

I've been trying to restrain myself from using coping mechanisms like that.. but its difficult at times. I just want to have control again and not feel like I want to escape at points of elevated stress and worry.",4.752952125012441,5.326135857868022,5.6800447894894015,81.85936150094555,69.22842639593907,8.718463222852593,27.37991440230915,8.78556168762146,1.8441399621777643,3088,94,636,50,51,1018,304,788,0.079,0.833,0.08800000000000001,-0.4194,1,0,2,0,0,0,86.0,0,2,2,3,57,39,0,5,34,0,67,22,10,8,6,125,127,67,0,16,19,10,18,10,3,8,5,5,4,2,24,38,5,5,18,10,1,7,13,14,4,3,48,26,102,25,103,59,19,117,0,5,2,2,41,52,0,19,67,445,126,0,0.09860054809107116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885082268503278,0.16408710947398594,0.0,0.0,0.03352587692939677,0.0,0.15085829881620258,0.05569527690635944,0.048892624474356286,0.0,0.0,0.0405699248838902,0.08777539233119136,0.0,0.0,0.04631923033156283,0.07581773523342343,0.04116366955419961,0.2704769052260268,0.0,0.041950902075991295,0.05554452641293791,0.0,0.0,0.05382313059869428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105888988589169,0.03936225722555031,0.0,0.0,0.12717839299783504,0.0,0.042462253795020576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05650238523162161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777955401208571,0.09659099950854587,0.0,0.10089297635098214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054982837499668716,0.06512473209023607,0.0,0.041537607186747975,0.047108524567339057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22434929878423035,0.14088050251516462,0.1893439775963876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961408706782083,0.0,0.03808926943296339,0.0,0.025757358395019952,0.0,0.05603696373067818,0.0,0.039429932819958435,0.0,0.054309810023199415,0.04881502228312419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556499188409798,0.058421062115524364,0.0,0.0,0.049452194566316686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05277696301826649,0.0,0.0,0.05145667749022513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133864888785704,0.0,0.04018630336703537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03482224154067876,0.24085623645618096,0.04941182624033227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25147997999418503,0.08899084427461004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522997999046082,0.049779222857651864,0.11547977023409807,0.0,0.0,0.07248274797140719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626496749958119,0.0,0.0,0.05612868876085852,0.05173234441205336,0.0,0.03340714159437565,0.03749507996706136,0.0,0.05784324925499066,0.0547421200334859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515082933491394,0.0,0.13981408268956588,0.16673595445214598,0.0,0.0,0.05315403379219171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611450506738543,0.06316603591847023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046895850266463236,0.03920555668911852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143093781974485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050255420859515856,0.0,0.0,0.09751846327155578,0.0,0.2093699262992882,0.0,0.03937126253652487,0.0,0.11294659470184434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925138563322309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032752911441673235,0.0,0.048437268938575376,0.039138910698105885,0.34496863509904235,0.0,0.0,0.047108524567339057,0.0,0.10041494976581354,0.05362454123147215,0.04815920413249178,0.051323323948949146,0.0,0.2128980389472412,0.0,0.0406778892299468,0.17447147374867658,0.039132262798477084,0.0,0.0,0.13298060127548905,0.0914036959170431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05006682138549225,0.05024119109264431,0.21012900112790456,0.0,0.0,0.06349552022469612
mentalhealth,girlpearl,2019/01/22,"My intense dreams and ""flash memories"" of my very brief childhood with my father hinder my life everyday, I just need to know I'm not alone or crazy I've never written about this before.   


some background:   


My father was in and out of my life (gone for a year or two, back for a few months--that kinda thing) because he struggled with alcoholism and my mother was in recovery and couldn't risk relapsing, so he couldn't be with us if he wasn't clean.  


I harbor ill feelings toward my mother but in the end, someone had to raise me. It's a highly inappropriate thing to feel, but my mother is not a warm person to be around--again, not her fault. I would never let her know that I feel this way.  


I loved my father much more than my mother, I was a daddy's girl. He was also the one who played with me and took me places so it was only natural.   


When he wasn't allowed home I remember we would visit him or I would go and hang out with him.  


When he was with us though we would go on vacation and we were a real family. We even bought a real house and that's honestly where things took a turn.   


My mother and I ended up moving around the town we bought the house in about 5 times, 2 times back in the house because my father was back and clean and ready to help us financially. He would eventually have to leave due to drinking and we would have to pack up and find another apartment. I remember going through this for 4 years during elementary school, I also stayed back in 4th grade.   


​

The last time I saw my father I didn't hug him because while we were hanging out I had accidentally reveled to him that my ex had hit me once and he got very angry. It scared me and I think that's why I didn't hug him goodbye when it was time to go. This was when I was 14 or 15. It's my biggest regret, and a part of me blames myself for his death due to this.   


A year after this my father's side of the family came and told us that he had died.   


My boyfriend (not the ex a new one, my first love, the person I lost my virginity to) breaks it off with me after like 9 months I think. This was 2 months after my father's passing, though. We ended up getting back together years later but I'm not with him anymore.   


6 months after My father died I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease, the same disease he also had.   


At this point, I had pretty much blocked everything out. He wasn't living in the home so it seemed easy back then to pretend he was still going to come home one day. I did that for a while, about 4 years. When I was around 19 things started to change in my brain drastically. I started having dreams that would make me really sad and memories of my childhood with him would pop into my head and I couldn't think them away or control it.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   


Today I am 24 and I'm with a new man, we've been together for almost 6 years.  
My dreams have descended into nightmares of me being with my father, now at this age, sometimes crying in his arms sometimes I can't get to him. Sometimes he'll just vanish. I honestly can't bare having these dreams. They're almost always based in the house we're we were so briefly in together.   


The ""flash memories"" as I call them are more frequent than they've ever been. These are usually memories of when my father was actually living in the house with us. Us on the couch, or the Christmas I remember that was the best one I've ever had (was in that house) , sledding, vacations,  places only him and I went. My mother went with us on vacations but he would play with me and and take me to places always. She never came unless we went grocery shopping or clothes shopping.   


I also have eczema and I find that when I scratch I can trigger a flash memory, or even if I'm just in a little pain. Like if I stub my toe or my hair gets caught on my brush. Even an uncomfortable feeling like bending my nail a bit by mistake can do it.   


My boyfriend thinks I may have PTSD. I'm not willing to take any medication for any kind of mental issue so I guess that's why I haven't found a therapist yet... but I need one now. Even if I could just get diagnosed I could know what's up and that I have a choice on at least trying or attempting to control these flash memories and nightmares. I think it would give me the motivation I need. I've just never talked about it before.   


I was in therapy my entire life (3rd grade-10th) and after his death no one could get me to even talk about him. The most I talk about him now is informing my boyfriend that I've had a bad dream but he knows what that means so it's not really talking about it at all. It seems easier to type this out but I'm not sure if I could talk abut it irl.  


I don't have any friends, also. It would be life changing for me to talk to someone about all this in person.   


I'm proud of myself for tying this out. I decided to find this sub today because when I woke up this morning it was actually from the worst nightmare I've ever had of my father. It was me and him on the couch in the house, and I was actually aware that he had died. I've NEVER been aware of him being dead in the dreams, but this time I knew. I hugged him every chance I had in the dream, and on the last hug I remember saying something like ""I can't believe you're here"" which to me by having my dream self actually say that out loud is just the ultimate pain for me. This dream cracked me.   


Thanks for reading this guys. I'm banned from r/offmychest so finding this sub was a life saver, for right now... just to type this out helps me a lot.  ",2.6020682056459417,4.0571462217314505,3.865492175668855,89.50513590649635,75.29858657243815,6.8839513843047415,22.598571040267164,7.529793476819655,0.7504245408301946,4281,115,933,54,91,1401,381,1132,0.105,0.789,0.106,-0.7507,1,1,3,0,1,0,235.0,17,0,2,8,61,33,0,3,48,0,95,25,5,6,11,190,165,80,6,28,39,19,7,4,1,14,12,3,7,7,64,70,2,4,29,16,4,21,27,12,0,8,64,12,155,21,136,73,16,159,0,3,1,7,100,63,0,25,76,642,219,6,0.0,0.0,0.14819803954096916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04057429457401164,0.07603527965149834,0.03932150705854222,0.0,0.15180768121857466,0.06318179762462389,0.04113633449705836,0.04613305794582362,0.07745490226983417,0.03981084457410202,0.0,0.0,0.03765224355256568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139383451514547,0.0,0.0,0.035670470962877315,0.17516186929851135,0.03170017008158288,0.09257531099268383,0.0,0.06461283677023777,0.04277487778568241,0.03984315809026597,0.0,0.04144922969161737,0.0,0.0,0.04238280720691931,0.038767709309086434,0.0868463792562987,0.0,0.0,0.08032635753499702,0.032704497806207586,0.0,0.0,0.08516458665928084,0.12125160486015585,0.0,0.041704060226427316,0.02448504186091476,0.0,0.0,0.07706973641194938,0.11820868596399765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03719239739716797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088028565542516,0.0,0.0,0.125381501827707,0.1030277360416138,0.031988139708199366,0.0,0.0341215498067637,0.0,0.07158226133306421,0.0,0.07678735487077784,0.027123042838961126,0.0,0.0,0.13880158368416626,0.03229400886108538,0.0,0.041627950995875136,0.029332572445184005,0.0,0.09917879659627146,0.03642061435105179,0.10788526025231143,0.0,0.030365018236585963,0.0,0.04182402184934048,0.03759248205201427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03896424855178837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05089585330631048,0.040113348128111063,0.11424950658947022,0.0,0.0,0.3066550777078266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039626822534019605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0395359286265988,0.08346086700098476,0.06189499942456615,0.0,0.040200697194511435,0.0,0.03882298598546078,0.1340831601526713,0.07419342098077766,0.038052081187702286,0.06704965578221066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144456464451162,0.03227748410295055,0.06853191004981693,0.0,0.025342716468605364,0.0,0.0,0.04135629448589508,0.0,0.03824692683276456,0.0382609744247065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091271543979387,0.040352035348572034,0.055819013794403,0.08445431256441173,0.14640927260055955,0.07333593634277685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04043273704408322,0.15436117556334633,0.0577499734620784,0.08079737353113876,0.0,0.0,0.041113667495053366,0.0,0.0,0.09945179814660814,0.1189997158268315,0.0,0.03589030690622313,0.0,0.0,0.03862524882341585,0.0,0.0,0.044380426596397515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03797644895226683,0.08642763747472952,0.04864420746936525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203309978653178,0.0324229058066652,0.0,0.06038445204948455,0.03801076419368712,0.03842379578071031,0.0,0.0691259591946609,0.0396070003961756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643372333489849,0.02922821619448425,0.11264855290898833,0.0,0.05374530782066601,0.040466890740458214,0.030319836211180524,0.0,0.0,0.03969048920592756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035782670405904465,0.0,0.05709167695084218,0.1830946388635056,0.0,0.03495415280825223,0.043417629630069635,0.04408165514620223,0.10089215802308242,0.1216359589161148,0.07460314788595221,0.0,0.1106919091102536,0.0,0.07197498882009322,0.03627830699376312,0.08436363424393004,0.025776540501073444,0.0412962958840751,0.03708743604560167,0.0,0.3196804351434051,0.0,0.04181437768418062,0.06265214064315823,0.0,0.03013578234942282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055850731252386,0.06851713493150978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29667089376239075,0.0,0.04613305794582362,0.14669383067691788
mentalhealth,kingoftheforgotten,2019/01/22,"My girlfriend has BDD (body dysmorphic disorder). What can I do? I’m not asking for a quick fix, or even a long term fix,  know it doesn’t work like that and that I’m not a qualified professional. 

I want to know what I can do to make things a little easier, or to make her feel even a tiny bit better during an episode. Are there any common triggers? 

Or, is there nothing I can do to help but just let her know I’m always here? 

I really love this girl, and I’m not leaving because of this. If I have to just stand by and be there for her I will, but if you know of anything I can do, please let me know. ",1.7723846153846168,2.7741076230769224,3.549230769230772,92.77076923076923,76.61538461538461,7.046153846153848,21.46153846153846,7.554174236665415,0.4719076923076924,461,11,112,6,10,155,76,130,0.009000000000000001,0.853,0.138,0.9425,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,2,9,3,0,0,6,0,17,2,1,3,0,25,32,10,0,3,12,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,14,3,10,28,2,6,0,0,0,1,9,1,0,5,5,77,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485336706982118,0.0,0.0,0.1213921454199124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689758098055314,0.0,0.16688168619951646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881734356045636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787657937832608,0.1948854405911939,0.1982831003588754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458661764622585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358068355670307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025944267940368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965072535317905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4905190023621665,0.0,0.0,0.1890151069902748,0.0,0.3650748052561476,0.0,0.08721041165531596,0.17891277263415592,0.0,0.15797472283015945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111121465926434,0.0,0.23831209899472286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128406457915446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195949121929784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435734602800016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859335393452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052891500175039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995657535046226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sgtpeppers6,2019/01/22,"I feel extremely paranoid, it is getting out of hand I don’t even know if there’s a way to stop it, because I know my mind is causing that, and I feel like only my mind can solve it. But my mind won’t cooperate with me no matter what. And paranoia is actually ruining my life. I can’t trust anyone. I automatically assume they are bad, and I always think the worst case scenario possible. On top of that, I am suffering from anxiety and depression, too. I’ve been trying to deal with all three of them, but they are draining me more and more every day... and I sometimes have the absolute strong will to hurt myself, or just end my life. 

I don’t really know if all of this is familiar with you, or not. But I really don’t know what to do. I’m stuck. I don’t know why I am posting this too, but I had a really rough day, and I just want to find a solution to get better. ",2.8784615384615364,3.6568210327868895,5.117486338797813,83.44528373266081,73.6448087431694,8.909457755359396,25.55233291298865,9.265573868473778,1.8727598991172758,671,21,150,15,13,236,103,183,0.14,0.736,0.124,-0.2374,0,0,0,0,0,3,25.0,0,1,3,3,6,10,0,0,5,0,20,3,1,1,2,41,33,15,0,3,11,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,11,0,1,10,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,3,4,27,4,16,28,5,9,0,4,0,0,5,3,0,5,5,106,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.14484237844643708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350233337522767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354549405218295,0.0,0.0,0.1037829197017842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392952149690828,0.0904791201768365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127074721083667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247440167086046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19144499943348048,0.1530207025332927,0.1278391079193838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146139276827495,0.0,0.0,0.09803398206433583,0.0,0.12505531791820124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500973042361925,0.106035573686889,0.0,0.0,0.13565868735658265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550929319708102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889311724995372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4078552766645233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209675365598974,0.07251345289869915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44960388634307497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288467158371095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732802878014716,0.14215109217397526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852565147013439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467971225748598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409079334604853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510539625810736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077152021337668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754550833579226,0.11781366083801335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393139097594886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,compassionatevillain,2019/01/22,"Put on a Smile. ""Put on a smile!""

I remember hearing that so much growing up. Negative emotions aren't acceptable. Sadness, anger. Those are 'bad attitudes'. So, put on a smile.

I put on a smile now. I put on a smile when I go outside. When I see someone I used to work with and the shame of how I left that place falls over me like cloud cover before a storm. I put on a smile when people ask me how I'm doing. ""I'm great! I'm running my own business! I'm going to a fantastic therapy program and learning so much about myself, and changing myself for the better!"" I'm actually a hair away from abandoning everyone and everything I know, I feel incompetent, and I have broken most of the good things in my life. Nevermind that I don't think therapy is the quick solution, and that the more I learn, the more ways I realize I'm broken.

I put on a smile when friends ask if I want to go out. Sometimes I go. Sometimes I laugh. The empty, tinny laugh that only a trained ear would know is hollow. 

I go on date nights. I look at my husband and every time he makes me feel happy, I feel a pang in my stomach, knowing that this is over, that I must leave, that the hurt I feel now is barely a scratch compared to the gaping wound that will be left when we separate and pull away from each other. But I put on a smile so he can smile, because the scratch needs only to be infected for one of us.

I'm so tired of smiling, and the lines in my face feel like lies carved into my cheeks, each one representing dozens of true lies that got me here. But when I stop smiling those lines turn to cracks and the facade starts to shatter and all my blemishes, wounds, anger, tears, and pain are vulnerable to the outside world, a world I do not trust and a world that does not want to know how I'm genuinely feeling.


There's a reason you can't smell 'smile' without L, I, and E. 


So put on a smile.",3.1802664692820137,4.170957170984458,4.429433752775727,87.85959844559584,73.14507772020725,7.690451517394522,26.480014803849002,8.07648339933343,1.4352045891931904,1452,49,318,21,28,479,182,386,0.132,0.672,0.196,0.9767,0,0,0,0,0,1,53.0,2,1,0,2,21,20,2,1,31,0,18,11,5,6,3,58,55,32,0,6,6,1,9,2,1,3,6,2,0,0,16,20,0,2,17,0,0,18,7,8,0,3,1,14,43,12,42,49,9,60,0,3,2,0,10,27,0,2,16,202,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.07481733113555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334927091166924,0.0,0.1440650333058062,0.0,0.06401493918254922,0.04673636519733716,0.0,0.06523918965756252,0.0,0.0,0.06780699866866785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110503633142935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709306245126012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624166793052329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459646155567321,0.07325997336527962,0.06890464404679418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325951803755853,0.05477194391428565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05923384121642584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178621867318499,0.06430584416168778,0.06131874973192534,0.08452721813845364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161497266163645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641089617765822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207514331066958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685398630808889,0.0,0.0,0.08118080058812817,0.1666009537491435,0.0,0.05415318164216405,0.0749126474654012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643821743522715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117677442370852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272023979942512,0.05684867166959656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194813078724056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390502890472197,0.11661959634458167,0.08158061832782594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531522380444462,0.0,0.08010219452861353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6936565609145506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882791831984881,0.0,0.0,0.08685038906635385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109481487245301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496091455360252,0.0,0.15165408145366416,0.0,0.054266311547113436,0.0,0.0,0.06409824304340395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535406990349958,0.0,0.050935100215724685,0.049126036184581515,0.0,0.0,0.044705979882486035,0.08811908544793344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339323930061462,0.0,0.0,0.09222268506486783,0.06621691002230493,0.0,0.0,0.09044205648709633,0.060855833560263174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390563357355957,0.0,0.05581553240178174,0.0,0.0,0.05446305513806445,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Last_Breathe21,2019/01/22,"The mental journey of a young man is littered with broken glass and I can bearly take another step. After I graduated high school I was so lost. Moved out due to abusive family the day I graduated. Fought to work and go to college on a little scholarship I had but every day of my life was so numb. I was so scared of failing in the real world that I lost all feelings. Right as I felt my life was looking up and I was improving myself life flipped on me again. I had to move to aid my ill grandmother and my small scholarship was completely gone. I had to stop classes and moved in with my grandparents. I assisted my grandmother everyday until she passed come to find out it was ALS. I was hurt by her passing but it didnt hurt as bad as I expected which frightened me. months came to pass and my grandfather was losing his sanity at the loss of my grandmother. He would grow to push me away and kick me out claiming he wanted to be left to himself. Moved in with an aunt and got a new job and a girlfriend. Worked through so many numbing hours until I could afford to move out of my aunts and in with my now fiance. My fiance is a true rock in my life and has supported me as stuck by me through these rough times. Yet I managed to ruin more of the good I had in my life. I began to dissasociate to a very bad level. I would feel nothing at times emotionally, whether something good or bad happened I would feel nothing. Fast forward to now. I started using medical marijuana to combat multiple of my issues to much success but still with its consequences. I fell into a state of misuse that  nearly cost me everything and im just now crawling out of it and to be honest with you my mind is exhausted. I feel like everyday is a fight for survival that im slowly losing and my issues and negative thoughts seem to only grow. My last step is to save up enough money to regularly see a Therapist. I hope I can make it till then...",2.920690627202255,4.755044653746771,4.473042048390886,83.88065539112053,75.33074935400515,7.79168428470754,26.45595489781536,8.575989854853784,1.935877519379845,1519,57,303,30,33,508,201,387,0.181,0.705,0.115,-0.9806,4,0,1,0,1,0,27.0,0,1,0,10,12,27,2,1,15,0,28,10,0,2,2,58,55,32,0,7,6,2,6,1,1,3,10,0,0,1,10,29,0,1,8,1,4,20,2,18,0,0,24,8,55,9,70,25,4,75,0,9,2,0,13,28,0,3,29,215,65,13,0.0,0.10190613717610496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018752553775676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080791918192741,0.0,0.2154407872555271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837093549296826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074088800743896,0.09017838992674833,0.0,0.0,0.06867087552905776,0.0,0.0,0.11093687470076002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967481084386558,0.0,0.08886988442322721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246596242058337,0.0,0.07729899170707945,0.0,0.08108126179048447,0.0,0.17395414748096374,0.06144456729993032,0.08258175238270048,0.0,0.07861031025036466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048880674440564,0.14427988079280454,0.06878894147973039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605712869904221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087281737957316,0.0,0.08542595519363147,0.08470115453639071,0.0,0.18414798914918648,0.0,0.1858081132740846,0.17954128366279007,0.08535027287110926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010849557426667,0.0,0.0,0.09344860510055658,0.0,0.3037521198010137,0.04201946178875028,0.08620322127285851,0.0,0.0,0.07222556955609905,0.1924432661562357,0.18777711310900586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741141423046611,0.08719922972104553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664462478433803,0.08667644821261647,0.0,0.08684417657258085,0.0,0.06865125096062402,0.4570676981903607,0.06322622373289187,0.0,0.0,0.08306765031621638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505515958465042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541342267584198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978966264758774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345088195765456,0.0,0.0,0.08610962171493025,0.08704530386890258,0.06853772562795818,0.07829900717863675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621362904161855,0.0,0.0,0.060877335980509636,0.0,0.06868658607597815,0.07190704815317839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760154999885724,0.0,0.0,0.06466776990140732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986262391004236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828122811889785,0.10030462288859117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428382294822575,0.0,0.07096610979619508,0.050730105866445836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252305831032672,0.0,0.0,0.18329414391577534,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Skinny_boi13,2019/01/22,Feel like a failure I feel like I am failing at everything and am going to have no future. No one to help me and I don't know what to do to turn it around. ,0.139166666666668,1.1697634722222219,2.8566666666666687,95.955,80.94444444444444,5.911111111111111,20.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,-0.06610000000000005,119,3,31,1,3,42,25,36,0.258,0.562,0.18,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,10,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,2,4,2,6,10,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30833590280494216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31128812462065675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502623976295348,0.4948826291396836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968456915253977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321593658027357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19035167595758407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384302736407225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23470407571106874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767427497383284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,davidphillipsactor,2019/01/22,"Can Vlogging increase Productivity and Wellbeing? I have depression and ADHD. 

​

While I was travelling I decided to create a daily vlog. Although some days I didn't really want to get out of bed, the need to post something to the internet always got me walking around whichever city I happened to be in that day.   


When I arrived home I did literally NOTHING for 5 days. I simply didn't have the motivation or energy. Then I thought - could vlogging be used to create a binding contract that I would do something productive each and every day? I've just released the first video in a #30dayvlogchallenge to myself. You can find it at the following link: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk33283kunE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk33283kunE&t=4s)

​

In tomorrow's episode I'm going to be very direct and explain what mental health issues I suffer with and how I feel they affect my productivity. The reason that I am focusing on productivity is that I am hoping it will directly feed into my mental wellbeing. If I am in a significantly better place with my life than I started, then surely that will help to make me happier?

​

Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it all!",8.516851595006933,10.388860407766996,7.619445214979197,66.64271844660195,61.427184466019405,10.15755894590846,35.10263522884882,10.290406445055957,4.010277115117891,988,42,144,22,14,305,131,206,0.052000000000000005,0.807,0.141,0.9522,0,0,2,0,0,0,53.0,0,2,1,3,5,6,0,0,10,0,20,4,0,6,2,35,38,13,0,6,3,0,1,0,0,3,2,1,2,0,9,11,1,0,9,2,0,5,2,2,0,1,7,2,25,4,25,24,4,28,0,2,0,1,7,11,0,4,11,108,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289154579391063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925568487156879,0.4648999359536968,0.3910275905701188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549138603886724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486995205433063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856448806495514,0.0,0.0,0.2767163028046862,0.0,0.09238989109661394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037803369842803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05423799421778693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804113588689914,0.0912422243909476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604317539384617,0.0,0.060962955492830935,0.0,0.08579213003549893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485686122089287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402101586700425,0.12089898886992327,0.0,0.07189957257890986,0.0,0.10759868970983216,0.10654146580432976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196006816936746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576665900057736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681368364025822,0.0,0.07160231585528022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162021091213664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953796601440058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029266725836225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207237458642597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273322568474323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871871671819535,0.1102895125632858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516050838010635,0.0,0.0,0.07592494101967842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109895171351994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17031784108747156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926452313528628,0.0,0.08850744885415446,0.06326952771167728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620020840220518,0.0,0.3910275905701188,0.0
mentalhealth,queerasf0lk,2019/01/22,"Burning out of life? Ive been driving to work in my uniform and sitting in the parking lot instead of going in I have a whole slew of mental health issues, mainly depression, social anxiety, and ADHD. I am a high school senior and I have a job as a CNA intern where I basically can show up and clock in whenever I want with no limits or minimums. Sounds amazing... but I havent been to work in at least 5 weeks. I need to be saving up for college but I genuinely cannot force myself to go recently. A couple times Ive even been there in my scrubs and just sat there for the duration of my shift and lied to my family and gf that I went. 

I'm guessing I'm just over exerting myself in other parts of my life (Im a real bad overachiever), but Ive been spread much more thin than this before and been fine. ",3.784756493506496,4.206377529761909,5.537792207792208,82.56175324675327,71.32142857142857,8.728138528138528,26.58225108225109,8.841846274778883,1.8431238095238096,627,19,132,11,11,216,104,168,0.087,0.8909999999999999,0.022,-0.8779,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,7,5,0,0,8,0,15,3,0,0,0,23,24,13,0,2,6,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,10,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,2,0,0,7,2,19,3,27,16,7,25,0,1,0,0,2,15,0,3,5,96,22,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171775724811135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824219054570713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15088479439915325,0.0,0.0,0.1537703830379034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19995150551852955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564473485898675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935684935470847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703567324097862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054026242758421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19907176906125684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19208563374551496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909293946813258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19519715365551504,0.18861365586839549,0.17932618801835393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552807760962568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363266317063398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18211256421419286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284219608690892,0.13399372468778878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956906619434933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20568685084682609,0.0,0.0,0.17842872402960328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828875527004124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18421046825883272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537309992196993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065870816433751,0.0,0.14495417434300667,0.0,0.0,0.16751941718420893,0.0,0.20175558308543504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26311717977911986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,--jyushimatsudesu,2019/01/22,"she doesn't care i'm not really sure what it was? a panic attack?? a meltdown??

basically just imagine someone screaming their throat out and then writhing on the bed as they desperately tried to calm themselves down.

whatever that was, that was what happened to me today.

basically, i'm going to be leaving home soon to head to uni, but my mother and i are having some disagreements on what i should study.

she wants me to do law, while i want to do something else. she tells me that what i want to study isn't a professional course and no one's gonna take me seriously and finding a job is gonna be difficult.

(keep in mind, she studied law)

she also told me i'm scared of it, which is essentially what upset me. the fact that a particular course doesn't appeal to me makes me scared of it. when i tried to tell her this, that's just what she keeps telling me. so i go into the kitchen to cool down, which is very difficult because i'm already in tears.

she calls my aunt, one of my favorite people in the world, who is also a lawyer. by now, im trembling. before my aunt can even finish a sentence, i scream. it just comes out, and is probably the loudest noise ive ever made. i run upstairs still screaming, practically clawing at my hair. and then i enter the bedroom and lay on the bed, and then proceed to have the most horrific five minutes of my life.

it's almost impossible to breathe. i can actually FEEL my heart beating against my chest. i'm literally convulsing on the bed.

worst part is, she is NOT concerned. i hear her downstairs, telling my aunt not to worry. she quite literally said, 'don't mind her, she's just upstairs screaming'.

ive calmed down by now, and i decide to go take a walk. so i put on a bra, grab my phone and head downstairs. the moment i reach the door, she explodes on me, telling me that i was stupid and spoiled, and that it was by the grace of God that she wasn't going completely crazy on me. then she tells me to go upstairs.

now she's treating me like i'm the most disgusting person on the planet. im actually too scared to go downstairs to have dinner.

worst part is, i couldn't even cry. it's like i just lost all feeling whatsoever. i just cleaned up my top and studied like nothing happened.

somebody please help me.

TL;DR : i have a mental breakdown, mom doesn't care, calls me spoiled",3.0372803970223368,4.819806445161291,4.057419354838712,87.20920595533501,74.87096774193549,6.833746898263028,27.191894127378006,7.61054688173877,1.4464524400330858,1827,71,377,24,39,591,211,465,0.187,0.715,0.099,-0.9941,1,0,1,0,0,0,67.0,0,0,2,4,20,30,3,6,24,1,34,10,7,2,4,53,68,25,0,5,10,5,4,3,0,3,1,6,8,1,25,17,2,2,5,0,0,11,11,19,0,3,10,11,67,11,47,52,8,48,0,1,0,0,39,21,0,4,19,249,92,3,0.0,0.0,0.1660430869445222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519095521863901,0.0,0.0938830742616547,0.13606990262218013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678581209026704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186131496639991,0.0,0.07239309579805152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737434623936188,0.0,0.1734805514364598,0.0,0.0,0.07328512292784882,0.0892001803897698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345158572360117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106977296854337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123833037127723,0.07695577884045147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603359046138878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775758538741012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901026497288544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046419891491478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746242832915213,0.0,0.095886419157255,0.1008150322653851,0.0570244020894697,0.0,0.08533779445739491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837925608939596,0.0,0.08442443630456535,0.15123825950461878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008280919469737,0.0,0.0,0.06009143410529814,0.12469096779668072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287010100756572,0.0,0.0,0.08050061902079403,0.056788644263323376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573622596711085,0.0,0.17180426978941868,0.09963955070799864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163236237180811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529889857433108,0.0,0.0,0.09981792231789956,0.0,0.18425723545694014,0.0,0.05898073046016734,0.0742847594007533,0.0,0.09338749501952473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172591934735112,0.0,0.0,0.08552450712322385,0.0,0.09048840565161273,0.0,0.0,0.05450162765446235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092640712996946,0.0,0.25552664434924605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720843059990836,0.06549537710277731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794150875072764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018277531494965,0.0,0.12793257332039965,0.0,0.4461591077146384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806417504813343,0.08129341118173447,0.0,0.11552153776947985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019630535123557,0.15053943405359674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639843287036703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wegak,2019/01/22,"So I met with an ex the other day. So almost a year ago this girl broke up with me. We never fought, never had any major issues it just didn't work. I was very hurt obviously, so I decided to avoid talking to her because I knew I needed time to process it. A few months later she blocked me on Facebook out of the blue. I texted her after that to ask some questions but mostly to see if she would still talk to me, and she did. A few months after that I started texting her again, I'll admit this time I was trying to reconnect but we only talked for about a week before she told me she was uncomfortable so I stopped. Last week I asked her if she wanted to meet for coffee, she said yes and suggested that we meet the next day. I mistook her wanting to meet up quickly for eagerness. She showed up with her best friend, told me she only had 30 minutes to talk and that this would be the last time we would talk. During the conversation she wouldn't stop staring at my head (I had to start shaving it since the last time she saw me) which made me very self conscious and I even had to call her out on it but she didn't stop. I talked about my feelings but she didn't seem to care, asked her some questions and she only gave me vague answers. The only thing I asked her to do for me was unblock me on Facebook so I could at least see our posts on my timeline because I don't have any pictures of us, I never got any gifts from her so I don't have anything to remember her by. She told me she would, and that blocking me wasn't personal. It's almost been a week and she still hasn't done it. She kept telling me that I did nothing wrong, so I just don't understand why she won't do this small thing for me even after I asked and explained why it's important to me. I didn't want to get another thing to get upset over from this meeting. ",3.4908489438023125,4.050069196891194,4.384455958549226,90.0708170585891,72.05699481865284,7.181984854523716,25.726982861697888,7.010146845296331,0.8837795137504978,1434,42,323,12,26,464,165,386,0.071,0.847,0.081,0.7741,1,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,6,0,0,2,17,10,1,2,13,1,33,1,1,1,4,64,66,21,0,12,8,1,1,0,1,6,0,1,0,3,23,17,0,7,12,1,0,0,14,6,0,0,29,7,77,4,48,29,8,47,0,2,5,0,71,13,0,10,33,233,100,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794445049122068,0.0,0.1535052083441779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563712393076539,0.08037284821881742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063075351676083,0.0,0.3582809524523659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344867584227368,0.0,0.06522240080909766,0.0,0.08043808494910655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826689560154157,0.0,0.07814846107656448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119775238361136,0.0,0.0,0.09886414489176072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843823503006864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125149088046427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038755887272536635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059218597802315476,0.0,0.08009156751768708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130296978121307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786636824291438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205402184746613,0.0,0.0,0.08000133197356596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874367693328442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252685606651481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236052692631445,0.0,0.0,0.056834042062161215,0.1773486149882968,0.0,0.08151676520086215,0.0,0.0,0.07354649775525797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23317917021674026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066926690981127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340826981533671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717281784790508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682803872710526,0.0,0.0729104689291814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221581850996164,0.06977810048705764,0.07996131368977036,0.0,0.0,0.0634045991872748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850469298393292,0.0,0.12242350645360978,0.19224524342867408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696439444198268,0.06699434485016352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276597727343724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17877790044689545,0.0,0.0,0.21972336127293696,0.0,0.05203943798385762,0.0,0.0,0.07979400298448583,0.09219895220287637,0.0,0.0,0.12648641455279006,0.13562817278609438,0.0,0.18444889850383586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383270650284285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055801168665499945,0.0,0.0,0.21779615780933007,0.08380332421530076,0.0,0.04935925170542877
mentalhealth,mistnroses,2019/01/22,"Am I ""normal""? Just for context, I'm a Psych major student so all this may be a hypochondriasis thing (or yet another self-diagnosis lol). And also I have not seen a psychologist who can officially diagnose me, for personal reasons. But it's killing me to not know.

Is it ""normal"" to feel down after a certain period of time? For example I have a period of time when I'm sure to feel really down, thinking I'm just a burden to people, that I'm worthless and people are better off without me. I cry more easier than usual. Yes, I am female but this can happen before or after my menstruation, which I ruled out as PMS. I told my friend this and they said people go through this. And I mentioned that I don't really have a specific reason to be sad, and they said that people go through this as well. I don't know because people usually come to me when they have actual problems for being sad. So is being sad without a reason normal?

Also, is it normal to have thoughts of death? Like on a normal day out, when I'm crossing the street, I have thoughts of just running in front of a fast car. Most of the times it's just small things like that, or when I'm on a high area, I just think of jumping off. It might be that theory of the mind wanting to end itself or something but I'm not sure. But other times everything in my brain just goes blank and the only thing I can think about is ending myself. I think of where I would kill myself and how. I just think of how everything else doesn't matter. The people I love just fade into the background, and I think they're better off without me anyway. Maybe they'll be sad but they'll move on, that's how things are. And life is just meaningless.

I went off on a tangent. But I'm just kinda desperate to know about the people's thoughts. It's killing me that I don't know what to tell people what I'm feeling because I don't even know what myself is feeling either. I don't have anyone to talk to anyway so reddit is a go to.",2.8714356435643573,4.312604745049509,4.4926608910891135,85.33894183168317,74.56930693069306,7.228217821782177,23.51608910891089,7.8658589789855275,1.1444643564356438,1543,44,316,22,32,519,166,404,0.13,0.772,0.099,-0.9628,0,0,1,0,0,1,47.0,0,0,5,2,30,20,3,0,20,2,38,5,1,6,4,82,77,33,4,8,27,0,4,2,1,5,3,2,0,1,29,13,0,0,21,0,0,11,12,10,1,0,8,7,39,10,54,58,5,51,0,5,1,1,15,20,0,8,22,232,68,2,0.0,0.0,0.07170131101332156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751636984110145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770452769106051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05137565043617422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895797432435857,0.0,0.06252208354530975,0.0,0.0,0.12996589497729066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202275416257086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329248014348053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070918622339024,0.0473855013759021,0.0,0.0,0.07457590069752898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06137919968888887,0.0,0.13015464548738045,0.0,0.0,0.04852975429748778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320697554450419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860531301314212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056766848096705125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252731486553677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497398067751654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077630707095129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24386865787544496,0.0,0.20190056497423287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05189778972803714,0.07179265757310363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631434278130889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381583226016765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077945700741207,0.07418912529434944,0.0,0.0,0.0780926345722316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599510546927924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055881289942041966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40750827042191295,0.06415581323325778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030595586295113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414033976591936,0.2266345912985354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978370538859827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665078060431041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565648891501284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849923454360724,0.0,0.0,0.05905667707295481,0.06422066611814999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19525494463017806,0.28248010020090164,0.0,0.17499358465093767,0.1713761942083669,0.0,0.0,0.07020881466053318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16184536359311785,0.0,0.043337645986842636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606313453276864,0.0681123555117309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124827525146692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052194757496963375,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BenjamingWass,2019/01/22,"Do I have a deep understanding in life or am I just insane So I have fought manic depression for almost a decade now, I'm 18 and had two attempts on my own life and have been hospitalized for suicide by my school before. Now I don't see help... ya I know I have heard the riot act I'm getting to why.  In all this time as I have grown up I find know that I have a extremely deep understanding of the human brain, its tendencies, how humans interact, etc... But I have come to find that professionals seem to lack this understanding that I have. This in tern makes them just talk to me like I'm crazy and out of my mind. I have been thinking to my self lately if I am just a rare case of a highly intelligent person that has gone so deep into depression and deep psychological thought and found the horrible truth? or am I just fucking bonkers?",2.9550168067226887,4.6248406529411765,4.416302521008404,85.02764705882355,74.82352941176471,7.915966386554623,23.907563025210084,8.634040054169528,1.4486974789915972,661,20,141,13,14,220,98,170,0.17,0.7829999999999999,0.047,-0.9692,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,1,1,1,9,6,2,0,8,0,18,4,1,2,2,34,38,13,1,2,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,4,8,8,0,0,11,0,0,4,1,4,0,1,8,2,21,2,19,30,4,20,0,2,1,1,11,12,1,5,5,97,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748912297550413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383023042124928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175571949412198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547928541754067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709230518714126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17540423322639342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874946969646559,0.0,0.0,0.17244493670980926,0.0,0.14539906070468214,0.08217018081766157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541873899904562,0.16617065249875226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286947331561853,0.0,0.17741409672780548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221772776533704,0.0768370738844569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049829029037805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880385249314916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732727351684074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591716352364253,0.12532855167026366,0.1431780975660961,0.16407309303454953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203433781808086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264124330543005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007760638471243,0.0,0.12485951857902773,0.0917088581309086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153635728125235,0.4911893616230407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419170619035806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fromthe812,2019/01/22,"I may be suffering from psychosis. First time poster in this sub. On mobile. 

I don’t really know to preface this so I guess I will jump right in. I’ve been on many different anxiety and depression medicines over the years, one med for bipolar disorder back in the day, but I’m currently on 2 anxiety meds, migraine med, birth control pill, and an allergy med.

As of lately, things seem like they’ve just completely shifted. I can’t even put a finger on exactly when I think it happened, which is frustrating. It’s hard to even put my feelings into words. I always feel... confused. I’m scared. But I don’t know of what. I think I’m having hallucinations or just taking things way out of context and twisting them to the point where my mind thinks something different happened than what actually happened. I get agitated and angry over very little things and it’s starting to affect my work life. I get mad at coworkers because I think they’re being vindictive but I can look back and see that it was just how I was perceiving things. I hear things, but not exactly voices straight up talking to me? I hear phones that aren’t ringing, especially at work. Stuff like that. It’s mainly when I’m alone I hear things. It’s not like someone just sitting by me and having a conversation. I don’t know its like I can’t hear voices but not make out what they’re saying sometimes. I have nearly convinced myself my boyfriend is cheating on me and at this point I don’t know if it’s the truth or just something I’ve convinced myself of. There’s a lot more stuff I could name off that’s been weird. I really just feel like I can’t connect with people. 

I know it’s people suffering from psychosis don’t typically...know that they are? Since I suffer from depression and anxiety and chronic migraines, I’ve tried to educate myself on mental health and psychosis is something that keeps coming up. I’ve never talked about it with anyone because I’m scared I guess. I went to therapy for 2 months and quit going because I wasn’t connecting with my counselor and felt it was becoming a waste of money. She started ending my sessions early because I just felt like I didn’t have anything to say sometimes or I couldn’t get it out I don’t know. She was a really highly recommended therapist so I got discouraged after it didn’t work out with her.  ",3.4039013669257585,5.608171676923078,4.428158670597694,83.08086571964624,75.08791208791209,7.51594746716698,27.36129723934602,8.407314429234152,2.077369337979094,1863,74,348,35,41,605,208,455,0.163,0.764,0.07200000000000001,-0.9908,4,1,3,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,2,6,19,22,3,3,10,0,34,8,1,4,4,79,78,28,0,3,19,0,7,6,0,2,7,9,0,0,34,23,0,3,17,0,1,6,18,13,0,2,13,18,51,9,50,59,3,56,0,6,2,0,16,30,0,10,24,228,85,4,0.0,0.0,0.06723570028494966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135881342370387,0.0,0.0,0.057329670779878064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812314507709402,0.0,0.0,0.04817593689506144,0.0,0.05669818780070705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595849519543712,0.0,0.16800130104202565,0.07609377580241672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05935057762650312,0.07223952173394431,0.0,0.07727633430578623,0.0550104211141933,0.0,0.0,0.0444342972720581,0.0,0.11868559515461972,0.0,0.0,0.14397004174701244,0.07896447573464649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061024258908303014,0.0,0.0,0.0910145705492584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451254808276512,0.04922161682529135,0.13230811286214345,0.0,0.0,0.05860564168079131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079909968562104,0.0,0.03915701474030858,0.0,0.05510500062283813,0.0,0.1518005180896364,0.0,0.1827820591875356,0.0,0.061720168298364214,0.0,0.0,0.07323664941956895,0.31061771536484634,0.0,0.0,0.07279580918941712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061240792825464,0.0,0.0,0.2650564676568657,0.0,0.07772132165760795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04866555696530212,0.20196407314010167,0.06905511932221317,0.0,0.0,0.057857992429588924,0.0,0.0,0.058575653330373824,0.0,0.0,0.045990764632714516,0.06985299533218013,0.0,0.0,0.3061260066179648,0.0,0.06943420890040924,0.0,0.06956857165089625,0.0,0.05499470039175591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313932627988576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046687894873447384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553208841828363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302640669609979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852549320228896,0.0,0.07328280187524534,0.0,0.0,0.1324158145737815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05883955776841281,0.0,0.10958285095931186,0.13796027838665864,0.0,0.05490375825203563,0.06272326258455019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05699414710535481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837808586421099,0.15912595794138962,0.13628618146154284,0.0,0.09753444565246587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774624674331916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051803639132092814,0.11075716701371106,0.0,0.0,0.078792263161708,0.07999730529917587,0.2746414832053069,0.17659135363221526,0.0,0.0,0.040175689492024325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04677804799256945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056849072545650914,0.0,0.054688994164140164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638702675888008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047835912558735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04436883899226739
mentalhealth,dreamlucydream,2019/01/22,"I don't know who I really am. I'm not sure what I feel and what thoughts I have are really me. Sometimes I'll feel sorry for someone or happy for someone but a voice inside tells me that I'm only feeling that because that's what's acceptable and I think I should feel. It makes me feel like I'm a terrible person like I have no good thoughts or something. I feel like I don't know who I really am. But at the same time I feel like I'm creating something out of nothing and overreacting so this could just be normal. 

Any help or similar experiences would be helpful thanks :) ",2.027494270435448,3.9954310924369807,3.899679144385029,86.372192513369,78.41176470588233,7.35248281130634,25.10389610389611,8.296473431620573,1.6395983193277313,456,17,95,9,11,154,67,119,0.07200000000000001,0.612,0.316,0.9864,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,0,3,0,12,0,0,1,1,31,30,9,0,4,7,0,7,4,0,2,0,1,0,1,10,4,0,0,13,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,8,14,9,5,23,1,3,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,5,57,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683177073848193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680113550648487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368881045051972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928717056128095,0.0,0.0,0.5039854218901597,0.30517565319318257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943205829912483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157944507341353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908853586204369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15651036865787507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782630971124089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504808756052407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951439976393742,0.13662942701203298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829589915985112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433162311809808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736608107849162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412973761645335,0.21924137892106146,0.14082980585662885,0.1593967259724378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420322932243842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244573056406346,0.1310958665713048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123935303375484,0.0,0.22608745093553606,0.08303020145757832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115153391102052,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hez1622,2019/01/22,"How to stop being a negative Nancy? Thanks for taking your time to read this :)   


I'm bipolar and currently in a depressive swing so I know where the bad feelings are coming from. I have also gotten on antidepressants a month ago, but what is really putting a lot of stress on me now is that I'm such a negative nancy and it has started to piss off people around me.   
Coworkers, friends, my boyfriend ... and there's nothing I seem to be able to do about it? I am a total pessimist, I feel like I have no future and go into every important situation expecting the worst because I feel like then I can't be too shocked ... but I wreck myself in the progress and turn into a total nuisance.   


I know I can't be all cheerful by tomorrow but I know that in depression your mindset can change a lot about how you feel - but how do I change my mindset? 

Maybe someone has some advice or dbt skills to share with me? Thank you!",2.709313186813187,4.632917335164836,4.082513736263735,86.05311126373627,76.19780219780219,7.187362637362638,26.21016483516484,8.07648339933343,1.6575593406593403,713,27,143,12,16,235,113,182,0.217,0.644,0.138,-0.9622,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,4,0,2,13,14,1,1,11,0,17,2,1,3,3,34,35,16,0,1,5,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,6,10,0,1,8,1,0,3,5,7,0,0,1,4,23,7,22,30,7,23,0,2,0,0,6,10,1,5,12,110,29,1,0.15071535380228554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727729942163892,0.13360006750163994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205270139837302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416861839460606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584102504037442,0.09187468078853496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188737203601429,0.1298279320512194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596218267690745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698418587833368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048248454885,0.21534215774140888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644230848204595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565500880253023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484876507081626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726381788243836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25626560834129564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514138304148031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029955749663572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461544678886326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448704949369814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515105584313422,0.0,0.0,0.15075613951747233,0.0,0.0965521149329414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372055976287819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941037239955226,0.0,0.0,0.1277006301868673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667710314892652,0.0,0.0,0.12600478436552015,0.17264392856649174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133191893021092,0.0,0.0,0.2775168970695128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788333482288199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393502593356168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wtfishappening12345,2019/01/22,"I am scared of myself [throwaway account for obvious reasons] 
I think I might start having serious problems if I don't get this under control. I'll start at the beginning:
I've been having a pretty hard time the last five to six months since I realised that the subject I'm in university for is not what I want to study. It's not the field I want to work in later. It's just not the right thing for me. So I started looking for alternatives, which was pretty good in the beginning because I had the opportunity to find things I like, I was hopeful because from now on, everything will get better. Well it didn't. 

Since I want to start working something related to design, illustration or animation and the job market in my country is pretty small in that field, I'm having trouble finding anything. I've applied for apprenticeships, for universities and for dual studies (all of them very hard to achieve, some need whole portfolios with over 20 artworks which have to be especially creative and well done and not generic and bla bla bla), so I basically worked my ass off to get anything done but my parents, who I'm financially dependent on, don't think that's enough. They're threatening to cut off the money they're sending to me, saying if I don't have a job or university until march (which is absolutely impossible), I'll have to get my own money and see how I'll make a living. It's pretty hard to earn a decent amount of money without an education here and I still have to afford the education that is yet to come for me so the whole thing is pretty devastating.
But not only have my parents lost trust in my capabilities, so have I. I'm scared that I won't get accepted in any of those companies I have applied for, I'm scared that I will have to work as a cashier or waitress for the rest of my life (not saying it's not a respectable job, it's just not for me and it's pretty much the only thing one can do without an education here) just because I'm not good enough to achieve what I wanted to achieve. 

Into the bargain, I got fired from my job as a waitress because apparently some people from my team didn't like my personality. I don't know what I did wrong, nobody wanted to tell me either, I was doing my best all the time I've been working for them to be nice polite and a decent person... I have some history with bullying in school and I feel like I'm just thrown back into that time where for no particular reason, nobody liked me.

Now with all this coming together, I feel like I'm stuck with a serial killer that is myself. I constantly feel the urge of cutting my wrists, hurting myself, like I did back in school. I constantly feel like I want to be dead, just non-existant but I'm afraid to die and I'm afraid that urge will someday drive me into suicide. I don't want that. I have a loving boyfriend, whom I love with all my heart, I have amazing friends whom I'd never want to lose, so I don't want to do this to them. I have a great sister who is so supportive and a tiny little niece whom I loved from the first moment on.
But nevertheless, even though I'm aware of all the good things around me, I feel like there's no place on this earth for me... 

Now my question: how do I keep going? How do I keep myself from having those thoughts and urges? How do I get out of this hole of insecurity? 
",6.628515825491874,5.763468344311381,7.2923507271171975,76.7737784431138,65.40718562874252,10.149255774165956,32.708468776732246,9.3871,2.7002631650983737,2626,91,531,42,35,874,261,668,0.145,0.6920000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9671,9,0,1,0,0,3,68.0,0,0,3,17,31,43,2,6,32,0,57,7,3,9,7,98,115,36,3,14,26,3,9,8,1,5,1,2,0,2,40,25,0,3,15,1,6,5,23,15,2,4,16,13,72,28,86,91,18,59,0,3,2,4,23,28,1,12,34,372,112,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03960865488163471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586148375381298,0.05185047402738885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957374970659293,0.0,0.1420226520031629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061124622920338316,0.05151304415008202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034596613423853,0.0,0.12588448915610234,0.06532681513249325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044920216990603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920988774865335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036548470413135,0.0,0.03847032909912156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052346926432659466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472523243794141,0.16644120049195765,0.0,0.0,0.10646990437127528,0.04954323926200426,0.0,0.0,0.0450000079294269,0.0,0.18258391656321307,0.0,0.03310202387393674,0.14655964079442405,0.046583914996787414,0.0642154114669845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565284660793637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902070576782922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057850511283592074,0.0,0.0,0.062352567787968924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311970366662457,0.10354181490145677,0.0,0.0,0.032009975291630084,0.04747751787031984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041140225811074266,0.22764485035777834,0.0583768763676553,0.051431476859101925,0.0,0.04891120171964392,0.06516135122509341,0.06358139031685495,0.0,0.1577053888517816,0.0,0.03887904629475143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061788830435745776,0.0,0.0,0.04649067088952338,0.0,0.04281683899451743,0.0431879922587197,0.04492219998964686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03946837676401795,0.08859602302437672,0.0,0.0,0.12934854736009305,0.0,0.0,0.040379807966996965,0.1017147226246299,0.06085371664116442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555371435447036,0.0,0.05573267985443021,0.0,0.0,0.06524782483925315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977129548268232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04974098405864664,0.0,0.09263765822513276,0.17494047206217686,0.11789427047640565,0.04641379146191296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636187184688584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04483991177291862,0.0,0.0,0.16490468284833645,0.0,0.046514599852153865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371066906433592,0.06609583184298885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0509087712537199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934772307960808,0.07464219684049295,0.05722549995745859,0.04624009118535798,0.10188953178914206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04805829476781171,0.3091901401246596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473865213559162,0.0,0.0,0.1300571139544019,0.0,0.11229236627379996,0.0,0.21201557666066534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368185661521039,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mollyyfcooke,2019/01/22,"Dating someone with mental illness.. This is my first post on here but I’m needing advice, *badly.* 

I started dating my boyfriend around 5 months ago, we met through work over a year ago we really loved each other from the start. We had never fought or argued, just have a really understanding relationship with each other.. fast forward to two months later and he breaks up with me, quits his job and tells me he is schizophrenic and that he can’t be with me. (This is at 8am in our work parking lot.)

Now, I love him and didn’t want him to suffer so I took him back and essentially thought he was going to be okay enough to talk about his feelings before he snaps again. 
This morning he wakes up, showers and then tells me he “never loved me, he was just lonely” and that he’ll “care about me again in a few days.” - Followed by him going to my parents house and him telling my dad to come check on me and that he was done with our relationship. 

I understand that mental illness is a constant battle but should I keep subjecting myself to being treated badly just because I want to love and support him? Do I actually take my own feelings into consideration or keep trying to help fix someone who doesn’t want it? 

Sorry if the post is long.. I’m still a little worked up and really needing someone to nudge me in the right direction. ",4.02522988505747,5.5640163026819955,4.825936781609197,83.70649137931038,71.79693486590037,7.2123371647509575,26.076819923371648,7.7348632917899725,1.4169983141762454,1049,34,203,13,20,339,144,261,0.071,0.767,0.162,0.9802,4,2,0,0,0,0,28.0,5,0,0,5,13,15,3,0,8,1,19,8,1,0,2,49,50,18,0,7,8,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,11,24,0,2,6,0,1,6,5,7,0,2,10,2,34,8,32,35,6,46,0,2,0,4,40,15,0,4,24,141,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.09651846755589914,0.0,0.0,0.0966502780769316,0.17534927277778628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804774617649687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605298626659755,0.16516557692734687,0.0602924787547847,0.0,0.084162138835565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008417591091517,0.0,0.0,0.08519918401667621,0.0,0.1068827793446949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378650421496876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121567965490302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021968443339811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002018707878538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412981052011574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242167600786722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629493590185996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141248109056214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814943056448742,0.1758252669451322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991302874160994,0.0,0.08752913192315433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408676152063246,0.35706787793820743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934895927673726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789243461471775,0.0,0.0,0.14667581932846452,0.15256556614271105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982395320285937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894501557512494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519922757143553,0.0,0.0,0.19008609189258854,0.0,0.0,0.21237711272605256,0.0,0.08446560269924401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25140944598988324,0.0,0.0,0.1107177188201352,0.14001304646777624,0.0,0.07898685128935183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223791362759453,0.0,0.0,0.0743653719922306,0.07949729076733582,0.2593458972315552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852070570687318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988875048403696,0.0671510148383143,0.0,0.09661726980428258,0.20593029002664506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501283249979765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21601530974726896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369253727735275
mentalhealth,RedxGeryon,2019/01/22,"Can Someone Explain What is Happening to Me? I'll be super depressed for 1-4 days, can't focus on any of my schoolwork (undergrad). Then, I'll be fine for 1-2 days and can focus and am even happy. I don't even know what's happening.",1.7759999999999998,2.9996772000000007,4.388999999999999,85.85950000000003,77.0,7.4,26.5,8.07648339933343,1.6411999999999995,180,7,39,3,4,64,36,50,0.065,0.75,0.185,0.7269,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,4,12,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,5,10,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,23,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161944803919208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100603639563197,0.0,0.27382146975057564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41996239634722576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5622659545787301,0.3384285871859921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471888394626986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693700655372473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vm_1719,2019/01/22,"I hate my family for what they turned me into I was raised to be a pleaser-- a trophy child. I always had to put the expectations of others first. At an early age I was programmed that fulfilling my parents' dreams was equal to fulfilling my own. Now, I am 22 and unable to assess myself as to what I want in life without feeling guilty. I feel like putting myself first is wrong. I am unemployed now and I feel like a disappointment for being unable to provide what my parents expect of me. I cry every night and I've grown to resent my family for what they've done to me. ",3.4712367149758454,4.99404062608696,4.887246376811596,82.78207729468602,73.17391304347827,7.545893719806764,24.082125603864736,8.167268648758528,1.4031835748792276,452,13,88,7,9,151,68,115,0.14,0.763,0.097,-0.713,4,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,2,6,2,0,5,0,10,1,0,0,0,11,16,4,0,3,1,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,4,0,2,5,3,21,2,18,9,2,13,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,9,69,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094792327553402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927072416450486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564574728329247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284602337805311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34203501950952675,0.0,0.2751795339955961,0.25919914553737883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30861506035546576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910513891343513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281354778255222,0.17725584327773372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024130138824886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028693959565294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647349659461816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732234083329395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700051014614632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487308011783848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983437126397557,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,petrichor1300,2019/01/22,"How do you help a 13 y/o understand mental health. Hey guys, this is the first time my 13 year old sister has shown interest in mental health. We’re from a developing country where mental health is almost completely neglected. So I want to make sure I do this right. I’m currently studying abroad and won’t be able to have a conversation with her irl. And to be honest, I’m not really good at this stuff. I don’t know how to explain a concept like this to a teenager. She is a really smart girl and I want to make sure she understands it properly. So how would you explain it to her? Do I have to do it myself? Are there any videos, articles, books, or websites that could do it better than me?",3.1176015473887837,4.534649992907802,4.640296582849776,84.62454545454548,73.8936170212766,8.531528046421665,24.8749194068343,9.095868883498916,1.8349375886524824,543,17,114,12,11,182,88,141,0.042,0.7759999999999999,0.182,0.9532,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,2,7,9,0,0,7,0,18,3,0,5,2,24,29,9,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,10,4,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,14,8,13,24,0,9,0,1,0,0,14,4,0,2,6,75,24,1,0.14941271677045714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961525322339145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160577098428472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214340608783046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665639083792882,0.0,0.0,0.11929389651779447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709038055742913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532029798872665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794208023662025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4764561932201182,0.0,0.0,0.10014819456633864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211332165692944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299550628620584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19946829730608007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4517186287757695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156783512326334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143522458884926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275976437447558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104181402287694,0.0,0.0,0.2816394346585693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712375669409335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31108781496102755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625498300244505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613850713346347,0.0,0.0,0.09621689091183117
mentalhealth,Datgingerbearrd,2019/01/22,"How do you deal with a complete lack of interest in most things? Monday through Friday, I work, workout, and then I just sit and stare at the wall... I just bought a brand new TV and can't even find a show on netflix I can make it through 1 episode without wanting to turn it off... None of the games I used to play interest me anymore, in fact they easily make me very angry. Picking up my guitar feels like a chore, like I'm simply doing it so I don't lose my skills, but my hearts not in it and I feel 0 creative energy. I've had to give up a lot of things that were leading me towards the wrong path consistently, I've had to change my playlists, and stop going to certain reddits. I've pretty much had to give up all social media because all I do is argue with people on it all day long and it's not productive.

I just had a three day weekend that felt like being in prison. I have lost all of my friends to marriage and kids or they've moved away / we've grown apart. Even my own brother and I can't talk anymore without arguing and it's not productive.

I tried going to church, had plenty of people shake my hand and greet me nicely, but it just feels like there's no way to actually connect. I've experienced the same thing in my yoga and crossfit classes and at meet ups. I'm constantly surrounded by people I don't know how to connect with. I talk to them, but it's always just small talk and what else would there be anyway?

I have almost 0 responsibilities at my work and haven't for months, my boss even knows, I need to survive here another 5 months before I can start looking if it doesn't improve because I just changed jobs last summer to get away from this, but it seems like it might just be the industry I'm in (I.T)... 

I literally feel like my brain is deteriorating from a lack of stimulation... I feel intense bordem most of the day that is making me feel horrible. ",4.079820179820182,4.80415755844156,5.111233766233768,84.79168581418585,70.81818181818181,7.897102897102897,27.79470529470529,8.012643519586192,1.5817292707292707,1480,50,313,19,26,487,197,385,0.093,0.758,0.149,0.9604,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,2,7,17,18,2,1,13,0,27,3,3,10,6,74,56,24,0,6,18,1,8,6,1,2,0,0,1,1,20,17,0,1,11,9,1,6,13,6,0,1,9,11,39,12,50,42,13,46,1,2,2,0,18,23,0,8,21,205,59,6,0.0,0.0,0.0928817167276594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530878178650228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919718570490669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980427810985704,0.0,0.0,0.1887854943637603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17884903685788686,0.0,0.0,0.11604139755466028,0.0,0.08099096614843751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625209092669044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013751331512787,0.0,0.09979416836290088,0.10285550823120293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841492151368168,0.09812615408977594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951047697600135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885960031059142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887544814546149,0.20398932047120247,0.09138749657957844,0.0,0.08699257707480823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353564711614029,0.0,0.049727496635599784,0.1826101989300092,0.10818570299993563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278847486004605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445122614894456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461661477630137,0.0775842085525283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27900014056613104,0.0,0.0,0.08423109320499626,0.0799270274645904,0.10648180633243658,0.10389995239170548,0.0809184289999462,0.0,0.0,0.19059968831738824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097068511116364,0.0,0.0,0.1519431540583796,0.1011610228647983,0.06996807573605973,0.0705745866394619,0.0,0.09192520611535368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795698573667445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968320345090689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664807956074595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702377989954937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736872460529328,0.0,0.0,0.07957454192414029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295056592374408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18969961149084388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462080984216739,0.10352824823019076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220475371047094,0.0,0.07853327071834276,0.0561394889620029,0.07554926389621207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349978589107532,0.0,0.13858399894412848,0.0,0.0,0.0676129712551716,0.10406412690195264,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yeyo1983,2019/01/22,"Socially awkward Hey guys,

Quick question. I was wondering why am I scare of talking to women. Is it something that can be treated with a mental health professional? I'm  a dude and I can talk to dudes all day. You know we like cars, fashion, guns, sports and all of that good stuff. But women holy hell what should I do? And when women talk to me I get sooo scare I don't know why i never had a bad experience with them. My family doesn't have a history of violence. If anything all my bullies were males so what's up? Should I seek help? Is this the correct sub reddit to post this? Thank you",0.11245989304812908,2.492645603305789,2.0090228488089465,93.33620807000489,92.96694214876032,5.161108410306271,19.514341273699568,6.794906146795322,0.366888770053476,462,15,99,7,17,152,84,121,0.14,0.7509999999999999,0.109,-0.7036,0,0,1,1,0,0,15.0,1,2,1,0,4,9,1,3,5,0,15,1,0,0,5,19,21,7,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,5,8,6,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,5,0,0,3,0,15,4,10,15,3,7,1,0,0,0,16,1,1,3,5,66,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913412501844525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513167169789771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687622305972956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772744782836803,0.1708443953293389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468346609024997,0.0,0.0,0.15200435000586413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944291631756076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926354977845313,0.0,0.0,0.12147243075249085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991948995589972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853820701401308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18263387935974465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977319622059614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356507410769367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301536937919032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628790654970261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18473778886126824,0.0,0.1395171605174015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207461202866834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4369894479741809,0.0,0.1668491883202577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270578008874821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19653261556592067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jaybot12,2019/01/22,"Having a Difficult Time... and Just Need to Vent Have you faced that point in your life where you know that the next few months to 1 year or even longer will give you hell, with absolutely no other way around it? Circumstances force you to breaking point. Perhaps there's some wisdom behind this: that at true breaking point will the beliefs, identity and habits that you desperately cling onto fall away in the face of reality.

I sit here stoning at what to make of the whole thing, or what to feel about it, or how to even begin.

I'm at this point in life, and I will go through it emerging a stronger and better person at the end.

Wish me luck.",6.596904761904758,6.308189642857148,5.945873015873016,84.49357142857143,65.26984126984127,9.104761904761906,29.11111111111111,8.418075326091056,1.7461873015873013,509,14,106,6,7,155,84,126,0.08800000000000001,0.7859999999999999,0.126,0.6378,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,6,0,1,9,6,1,0,7,0,5,4,2,2,1,20,14,8,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,13,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,1,9,4,22,11,3,27,2,0,0,0,8,15,1,5,6,74,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15988032757144582,0.0,0.0,0.1687382652833994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883986650858822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15907055091876618,0.0,0.0,0.2372456157257092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081016248762393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722867997046607,0.10206970176294346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870238278779016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25371080602130586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119883082534343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335343755790916,0.0,0.0,0.13316966679667785,0.0,0.0,0.19100454703307504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15681807618069651,0.0,0.0,0.6791127747259096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931695367318668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472505812222263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255656007154416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20051479154311005,0.20652887607633955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156552457725254
mentalhealth,moondrop20,2019/01/22,"Little sister had first suicide attempt... Today my other sister rang me and told me that my youngest sister (who is 13) was hospitalised because she swallowed 13 x 500 mg paracetamol tablets and drank a small amount of diluted bleach last night. It was about 10 pm when she did this and everyone was in bed. She didn’t tell anyone about it until the next morning when she finally broke it to my brother, who drove her straight to the hospital. My dad was at work. She said she had bad stomach pains. They gave her an antidote and she only just escaped problematic liver damage. Her liver is ok for now because they got to it early enough. It should make a 100% recovery and is working normally. I personally suffer from GAD and depression, and my youngest sister suffers from the exact same disorders along with a panic disorder. I don’t live with her, I moved out a while ago and live 1.5 hours away. I’m the oldest sibling (age 19). All of my other 3 siblings live with my dad. We have gone through a lot in our family, a fair bit of physical, mental and emotional abuse (mostly mental abuse) primarily from our mother. My other two siblings have depression but not anxiety. 
I went up there today to see her in hospital. 
What can I do in my power to help her? I’d rather my sister be alive than anything else. I’ve missed quite a few details here because I just need advice in relation to what I’ve written. ",4.366403092602353,6.05506789298893,5.292303637322089,80.10419434194344,71.1771217712177,8.409137234229485,29.14092426638552,8.976282227363876,2.509871762431912,1113,44,203,22,21,364,167,271,0.114,0.833,0.054000000000000006,-0.9263,2,0,0,0,2,1,34.0,3,0,2,6,10,11,0,1,12,1,18,6,3,1,2,29,32,14,1,4,5,9,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,1,14,15,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,10,0,2,17,3,36,1,31,13,8,33,0,7,1,0,35,12,0,2,17,139,50,2,0.0,0.28789487820900883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871998712559187,0.10769479312874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294058621991992,0.0,0.0,0.08494960964515047,0.0,0.09997706804849373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414516679697788,0.0,0.1014402418521634,0.2221800840295722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263713960154214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928072454198302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27847933312034123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014904728141702,0.1366614694057398,0.0,0.12553308986807973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160902362972623,0.0,0.0,0.11453127669762045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330878870346716,0.0,0.10334052028155026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971677686850703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143312252548278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964455353300575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903170385062478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176629679666172,0.3218373883080504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328764121315943,0.0,0.0,0.08109645093859276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448695063246087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912612817066002,0.0,0.09008433151351247,0.0,0.0,0.12920747907094007,0.11401144609473213,0.119035774059934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239968208171732,0.1292754122600128,0.1425439776746676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608160177754186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922105545275153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556613986100613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968129139184474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289186953997714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061888359869228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23031927760724635,0.1160902362972623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867944154432815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262374225162465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689436804112355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FitDynasty,2019/01/22,"Asking People What does Happiness Mean to Them? Hello,

My friend went around the streets of Toronto asking people ""what does happiness mean to you?"" She has been suffering depression for most of her life and has decided to turn her life around and give back to the world by starting a mental health awareness project. Please check out her latest video:

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b\_oFEyIQMec](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_oFEyIQMec)",11.706190476190473,16.193810968253974,5.549444444444443,73.97750000000002,58.36507936507937,8.009523809523811,27.96031746031746,8.841846274778883,2.5485365079365083,373,11,47,6,6,91,46,63,0.08900000000000001,0.732,0.179,0.782,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,9,11,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,7,3,11,9,1,9,0,2,0,0,11,5,0,1,3,30,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31637143595475964,0.3322406140589769,0.0,0.0,0.13663604986310166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304795399054374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110031899867775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728627745127395,0.0,0.0,0.17046069096354632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3783180543724881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888808719572989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25102166488347705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871226589319733,0.0,0.0,0.17907419338152095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463818908067872,0.0,0.0,0.1950551258106158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577303362943748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932805158854001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472451880212882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,prawnsontoast,2019/01/22,"Thoughts of others and infatuation... I had a dawning realisation tonight and  I just wanted to share this, it's just nice to put my thoughts down and see if anyone relates.

When dating I become infatuated with people, grossly infatuated.

When I fear it's coming to an end, or I'm not in control, I reach out to everyone I know and become intensely emotional about the scenario and describe everything that's occurred.

I try to remain semi neutral about there being a good or bad outcome, but usually I'm just after people to tell me what I want to hear - which is that it will be good. It's like I victimise myself.

If it turns out bad, and the other person breaks at off, then I go on a massive self deprecating spiral. Over eat. Over indulge. Drugs. Alcohol. I just want to have an intense dopamine hit. Sometimes I can talk myself out of it and I wallow in self pity for several days instead, other times I have a night of misadventure and somehow it puts me back to where I was before. I'm realigned.

If it turns out well, and they're still interested, then I feel immediately happy. I can feel the happiness surging through my body in that one moment and then I go into a calm state. 

",3.234320910973082,5.4517503782608685,4.9449068322981375,79.11746376811595,75.65217391304347,7.163561076604553,27.908902691511386,8.11559375814309,2.0561946169772263,937,39,172,16,21,317,137,230,0.073,0.7559999999999999,0.17,0.9618,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,15,14,0,1,10,0,10,4,1,1,0,38,29,21,0,6,11,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,3,17,17,2,1,5,0,0,5,1,4,1,1,4,4,24,10,32,21,0,38,0,1,1,0,7,15,0,6,17,127,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338704184787829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875883503843982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632121761946363,0.20918244318107002,0.0,0.2766911751637215,0.10659147113149434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914141404159974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790489036030508,0.0,0.0,0.14049558933001136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078570027661464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452678794888848,0.12817758670130014,0.0,0.14090650582571554,0.11094779916478596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969628036534086,0.11258029744531572,0.0,0.0,0.14095819186519434,0.12667571227490945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423822160242316,0.21013303713689974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666942997919987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118300048964064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884248579875671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119825630579776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755291790145855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488295108391877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368625443777716,0.10937675340289173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518522776672237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982015763750636,0.0,0.26135787563988744,0.14151403680833752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389049994405996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000369619339898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068343427457764,0.10948731856668337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19889317575284607,0.07304315380160131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504685787006204,0.272505164645093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796193619091393,0.0,0.2216540066726549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126284713832748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,confusedcrocs,2019/01/22,"Suddenly lost interest in everything I like Hey everyone. I start a new semester of college today and I am dreading it. I also start a new job next week (my dream job), and I resume karate practice tomorrow. But, I’m dreading it all.

I’m no longer enjoying school, work or practice, or hanging out with friends. I just want to stay in bed all day, and I’ve recently grown extra insecure about myself and lost quite a bit of self confidence. Mainly that’s because I care a lot about what people say about me or see me, like, that’s been one of my insecurities growing up and I hate it.

On top of that all, the dude who I was stuck in a limbo with (like as if I’m his gf but I’m not bc he’s gay) cancelled on me THREE HOURS LATE and I feel like shit because I feel like I no longer mean anything to one of the people who mean a lot to me. 

Anyways, I hope I just hang in there today.",2.457534562211979,3.500037994623657,4.309708141321046,87.82741935483875,74.96774193548387,7.679877112135178,26.1889400921659,8.192908349453996,1.4744359447004611,681,24,153,11,14,232,105,186,0.14400000000000002,0.6990000000000001,0.157,0.1531,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,5,8,18,2,4,8,0,3,2,1,0,3,29,21,14,0,3,9,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,1,1,9,9,0,0,4,1,0,4,3,8,0,3,5,4,22,10,22,16,8,28,0,2,1,1,9,9,1,7,19,94,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259117912871174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055693850558036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15640529907166112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400563302826977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079728863467588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273459206291331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258385944005044,0.11529620900192752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297316646814713,0.1832967162182776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991143257664614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665699091171126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741807579479955,0.12633699095505627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546103818949997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471348117788807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31337308168927624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800811343159047,0.21813027686406536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279484607211238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24780103752065805,0.13643482826995415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386137167785745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778762993777571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364491640602218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266680736044116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102019082418469,0.0,0.1298334341220926,0.10222824080891743,0.0,0.13383146490936038,0.0,0.13168490518595732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816045952911588,0.13673702158584802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432024160950602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566707869660308,0.0,0.10290420516542156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339456546614427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,litmonst,2019/01/22,"I don't understand myself... Firstly I apologize if my text will be long, I just simply don't know where and who else to say all this to. My life is typically normal. I am 20, in college, have plenty of friends and don't really find it hard to make others. However; my sole problem lies within me. I would go to a therapist, except I am not in that sort of family that can easily accept me going and I am not really working (cultural issues). Now I apologize again because my mind is always a chaos and I have problems organising my thoughts so I don't know how to form them into words or by which order, but to put it plainly, I have severe insecurity problems. A distorted image of myself. Sometimes when I get my occasionally unexplained bouts of depression, all horrible thoughts would roam my head. Like I am fat, I am terrible, manipulative, selfish, self-centred, obsessive and dramatic. Simple things can cause intense emotions to me (whether positively or negatively), and when I get anxious, which is basically daily, the urge to scream never leaves my side. The worst emotion I'd get is when I am sad or angry, tears falling, and I start to either victimise myself or loathe others who are the reason or simply hate existing. It's not that I wish to die fully, I do fear death and I am in a religious family, it's just that I wish then and most of the time to not exist at all. When I am in said emotions on bed, it would overwhelm me how much I want to cut myself, throw myself off the balcony, break an arm or a leg, and I keep withering in bodily pain just to how much I want to hurt myself to feel like I am letting off steam. 
My self image isn't really getting better when it's easy for my mother to always tell me I am a selfish person who doesn't care for anyone but herself and her needs whenever a simple problem occurs between us (i live with my family), and even though I yell and say how is that even relevant, I often find myself thinking she is true when I deal with other people outside my family circle, thinking that me wanting to take that seat next to the window other than my friend because I love it is a typically selfish act of me. That wanting attention is my self centered actions. That me feeling like I am not in the mood to help my brother with his studies sometimes make me feel like a horrible person because she makes me feel I only care if I am the one profiting. I honestly wouldn't say she is wrong, I don't even know who am I anymore. I find it hard to understand my emotions, to know whether I am crying when a friend hurts me because I am victimising myself or because they are wrong. Am I trying to appear a saint? Am I just... I don't know honestly, I don't even understand myself. I do like praise sometimes, especially that to people, they say I am the kindest soul and sort of, no one thinks I am malicious or anything, but I often find myself wondering if everyone hates me, if they are speaking behind my back, if they smile fakely, if i am unimportant and no one would care if I just disappear, and thus whenever a small act of kindness is shown, I treat it like a total blessing and almost worship the person for it.
I have troubles expressing emotions to my family and I did tell my mother how I recently cut, how I just hate myself and hate everything about me and just wish this ache in me to disappear, this is not the first year tbh, I think it's all built up. I have been having all sort of self harm and suicide threats to others since I was in middle school. I'd often scratch my hands whenever I even make a mistake in an exam, though I am not sure how is it my issues or just me wanting sympathy from others. Such thoughts make me disgusted of myself. 
I am sorry I am treating this like a diary, I just don't know how to deal with it. 
My grandmother who I've bene close to for years,living with us, died over a month ago, and till this moment I find it hard to cry about it or act visibly depressed. I act arguably normal except for excessive sleeping and boredom. It makes me feel terrible that I am like that when I a sensitive person who can cry from a Chopin or Mozart piece but cannot get depressed when I really loved my grandmother. 
I don't want to self diagnose and I hate doing that, but I stumbled upon borderline personality disorder and related to many of its symptoms, and tbh even if it isn't true, it felt good to feel like I belong to something. That there's a piece of text telling me this, all this, is because of a disorder. I felt understood, when I always feel like no one understands me the least. That I am constantly judged.

I am sorry again for the rant, I don't know if anyone would honestly give it the time to read or reply. I just want to know if anyone goes or went through something similar and what should I do or make of all this.
Thank you.",6.819053069719042,5.928342048907387,7.6595981269510975,74.37997783558795,65.03537981269511,10.892994797086368,34.100332986472424,10.218431689235594,3.3281989843912587,3803,143,732,77,50,1283,358,961,0.255,0.624,0.121,-0.9994,1,0,2,0,0,4,103.0,2,1,5,5,49,73,9,4,36,0,82,12,6,19,12,190,155,81,4,35,51,3,14,10,3,8,5,8,2,9,59,34,1,1,38,1,1,14,27,37,0,6,11,22,148,35,90,134,17,70,5,7,0,2,55,24,0,34,40,556,207,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037446048606325805,0.0,0.04230046347731515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544918102890888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04772279273516,0.041893904001782514,0.08861228438569152,0.0,0.03476255481717215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032482413816500515,0.0,0.15450637833499226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03736067815652619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920927540774135,0.043395403537884736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04564989277819997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920651712331614,0.0,0.08710177004553432,0.10915202057444907,0.042875959491992584,0.08768354595813757,0.0,0.09682873554913432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03528877365069385,0.2375895750067408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740741391952504,0.0,0.0,0.04036518855568549,0.037965464926437084,0.0,0.1991156503284619,0.047535345089592285,0.14951602075924486,0.15089275508182082,0.08112019456941982,0.0,0.19304760067091686,0.07186408986068693,0.0,0.0,0.097910976202118,0.0,0.11035164419394562,0.040523527347812865,0.048015568898652536,0.03543159252702175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135248312347412,0.20853207524222428,0.04335371107571048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02831472697671535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044444007510978,0.0,0.0,0.08818185279282069,0.0,0.037547697734630715,0.0,0.04398979296390936,0.18572606677014533,0.0,0.0,0.044729450098248615,0.0,0.0431965347739979,0.029837621930015764,0.2063789407258797,0.0,0.03730152014409096,0.0373839032981625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625227582195923,0.0,0.1973836514093885,0.042827975171162366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04265359051804635,0.0,0.03371811977028538,0.0,0.062107226150074815,0.03132279805292777,0.03258056058590799,0.0,0.04492612317670231,0.0,0.08277873519867278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450034421144907,0.0321278576792928,0.04494974390548684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857223289239075,0.18442566724883994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616841519810483,0.0,0.042466084347764,0.0,0.0,0.042254632304014425,0.0,0.10824830425413066,0.04343304590854361,0.04171006442759311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040182957455589585,0.134373954839085,0.0,0.04275237435914983,0.0,0.0,0.22034435611777453,0.04772279273516,0.0,0.034944012143244614,0.0,0.042273708228308886,0.0,0.0,0.06504175942055541,0.12533881692654927,0.0945756093502434,0.02989995487575408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04620720521029069,0.0,0.03981371672632339,0.04390686015369951,0.031761629690674587,0.0,0.11076725805291472,0.038891863646005005,0.0,0.04904761190011047,0.028064505484585316,0.10827094919605106,0.08300746040276516,0.10060914821912148,0.049264700070952405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028680360354687157,0.0,0.0,0.17590664683564985,0.10162673833346628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17441293977026326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0391598702598296,0.0,0.0,0.14573278809762805,0.0,0.045810949178315435,0.030753553219303623,0.0,0.0,0.15004178878179664,0.09237261702023236,0.0,0.027203236249179488
mentalhealth,yvchawla,2019/01/22,"Worry is degeneration of natural friction Worry means we want to feel satisfied about tomorrow, about result  now.

We think as if we can enjoy the comfort of, relief :

Of having flawless choices;

Of controlling others;

Of knowing, confirming the result, future;

Of our ideas not being challenged;

Of not-committing errors.

When you notice that this relief, this satisfaction can not be secured, **worry is transformed as natural friction. I**magination opens up. What you want becomes clear.",6.2615384615384615,10.106740794871797,6.6648205128205165,61.17184615384616,76.94871794871796,8.248205128205129,33.44102564102564,8.841846274778883,4.3909548717948725,394,20,44,10,10,127,54,78,0.101,0.581,0.318,0.9608,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,4,2,0,2,4,7,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,3,1,18,13,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,6,7,13,11,0,6,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,4,38,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612106900243556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26527011432551506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958838294382405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669950666365481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998168957029252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25763264748159337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692723019790454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154836531695975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27900369907770817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7205731264105334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SnoopShellyShell,2019/01/22,"Not sure if boss is expecting too much of me [F25] or I can’t handle it Everybody makes little mistakes at work. Normal. Lately I feel like I’m being a little ganged up on. Retail. Fashion. All females. I’m sure you can imagine. The other day a bunch of tasks came out to be completed. And of course there’s people actually shopping and that has to be our priority. Basically around a month ago I stopped taking my meds, which is dumb I know i know. So I’ve been moody and a little snappy, but nothing extreme. A few days ago I started taking them again. I’m feeling a little better but just kinda emotionless to be honest. So I was a bit overwhelmed at all these tasks and now I’m in trouble because “nothing” is done and I “should know better”. I’m having a meeting with my boss [F, late 30s??] about it later in the week and I’m wondering how or if I should tell her I’m struggling mentally. Also the way I’m sorta feeling ganged up on, makes me feel really stupid and I don’t like that at all. I came home tonight actually thinking “wow hang on am I really a bit r******d??”, that is how my manager [F early twenties, and no I don’t have a problem with her being younger than me] spoke to me. She would refuse to accept my explanations. I think she has very high expectations and for the most part I really admire her management skills but she expects so much of the shitty store. I don’t want it to sound like I’m incapable of doing the job because I think I’m great at it, most days. But the company is balls and the second you fuck up they are down your throat. I don’t think ima be fired, I’ve not had any official warnings or anything but I’m just not quite sure what to say that won’t make me look like I can’t manage the responsibility. It’s not my favourite place to be but honestly nowhere is right now. Advice? ",0.9448457142857158,3.244534042666668,3.0590761904761905,89.03330000000004,84.57333333333334,5.918095238095237,21.728571428571424,7.2636822038024595,0.8059371428571436,1426,48,299,22,42,482,192,375,0.14,0.727,0.133,-0.2472,1,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,1,3,2,5,15,24,3,2,19,0,35,2,1,7,6,76,70,27,0,12,17,0,5,4,0,4,0,3,1,0,13,16,0,2,14,2,3,3,12,9,0,1,7,9,41,15,33,52,12,43,0,1,1,1,17,22,2,10,21,191,54,7,0.0,0.0,0.18035123647313694,0.0,0.0,0.09029876664044573,0.16382594419986865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389761186772227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283973093723615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604284801308589,0.08226156244351594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266054433736356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345244966397718,0.20176838638073036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21137731552458885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688667636188256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878404822588995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456414631561873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18689443449240614,0.06601537143233538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542851352498132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187872298789544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976327616261382,0.09269146359236206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916994001753487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235293200271846,0.0,0.20847758559619928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18058100165833985,0.37046319445709575,0.0,0.0,0.07759836240499099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18504658758745213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264302218938172,0.0,0.09312422846532024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375815357829373,0.0,0.1358591272558454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053895509887352,0.17733345917494064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000674609683815,0.0,0.0640631769881156,0.0,0.09654534322584797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884207407933812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982859096759857,0.0,0.0,0.17759431214197402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789148246548509,0.0,0.07348552399619797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540594430337822,0.0,0.0,0.07725614649157568,0.0,0.09660355598069632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26127668916557634,0.0,0.13895669014653614,0.0,0.08076753672875621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368419518429862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624521260659971,0.05450387119218782,0.07334814449149626,0.07412308813928606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021113419376768,0.06727318477071854,0.0,0.0,0.06564307485426553,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emptywhip,2019/01/22,"Am I a sociopath Don't know if this is the right place to post this sort of thing and would appreciate someone telling me a more appropriate sub.

I'm 25 years old, I've wondered if I was a sociopath since I learnt the word. I got a reputation of being a serial killer to be at school.

The thing is I do fit the criteria but only kind of and I feel that I've had good reasons for all of what I've said or done or thought.

When I was little I use to peel eggs with chicks in them and lay them on the trampoline and watch them die in the sun, but I never thought of if as cruel I didn't think of the chickens as living.
When I was a little older I helped my neighber catch the rats on her shed so I could drown them and skin them, I was doing It to make cave man clothes for my action man but I mainly just liked the process, I would try to keep it on one piece.

As an adult I have no fear of death actually I cannot wait to die, I hate living. I feel no empathy for the dead but on the other hand I do not like torture, I would stop and help at an accident but more for the excitement than because I care about of a stranger lives or dies.

I laugh when horrible or graphic things happen on TV and I only recognise it as wrong  because no one else laughs or smiles or seems to understand.

I had to quit a job once because everyone thought I was suicide because I tried to discus death and I had people complain because I was curious about canibilism.

Fuck it's impossible to say what I want to say here, the thing is I feel like everyone thinks and does things like this but I'm the only one to admit it openly. ",3.6958944281524913,3.9819889560117327,4.884912023460412,87.64736803519064,71.4633431085044,8.194134897360701,27.230205278592376,8.150884317080207,1.4505002932551316,1258,40,287,17,22,417,173,341,0.24,0.631,0.13,-0.9944,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,5,1,8,17,4,1,24,0,27,4,2,3,2,56,53,32,8,8,17,0,5,4,0,3,0,3,0,4,17,11,1,3,14,1,0,2,8,7,0,3,16,9,41,10,41,31,5,26,0,0,1,1,18,15,1,12,12,193,58,2,0.0,0.0,0.0919270343220807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871216723703391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960446646685223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521219900149577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932987228559504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243633074208767,0.0964007976212456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869323052425102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002706014154513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600282985780546,0.14289326286444656,0.06729754044518688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708773001470399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790117136449549,0.07534151146050952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833020382385276,0.0,0.0,0.09300443722511822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628250328365148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934804115799791,0.0837305842003409,0.0,0.09809632243638283,0.0517706577571098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840882963930719,0.1888292171315256,0.2495448398966588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288020472714034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265397177512213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988485838207384,0.10032147840821012,0.19150003775975274,0.21493336115610856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530742993431278,0.0,0.09842047389213797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021895711296034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019484611082254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685478809446237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044753045702563,0.0896071585116336,0.1498255608040873,0.0,0.09533690471098323,0.0,0.08575746943909654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792441954061805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981658970090276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787566369824206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304110557900564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233622642315719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129163146200967,0.1207209812460682,0.0,0.22435630583326305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791321292433802,0.0,0.0,0.09806704001113416,0.0,0.08135981420259741,0.0,0.0,0.05556246062684248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021574628778023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075403905646488,0.10299450637268846,0.0,0.06066265046080036
mentalhealth,pythonredditor3,2019/01/22,Strange social dynamics in mental health institutions Mental health institutions seem to have really *odd* social Dynamics I was wondering if someone had some insight here?,7.256153846153848,11.074663076923077,7.31492307692308,51.88007692307696,91.30769230769228,11.310769230769232,35.96923076923077,9.3871,6.689824615384616,144,8,14,6,5,46,21,26,0.064,0.778,0.158,0.3947,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5336245733806316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5059188315707169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608036712055955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22851041454648055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.511746925681584,0.21268027286174304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722100400572318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Goddess_Of_Heat,2019/01/22,"Why am I so bad at everything that requires practical skill? I don’t know if this is the best sub for this but I’ve had this problem for as long as I can remember. I can talk and teach about how to do a practical thing well but then I go and actually try and for some reason there’s this mental block that I can’t identify that ruins my performance. I don’t know if somethings wrong with my motor skills or where this mental block comes from, it makes me feel useless at work and in other areas of my life. It makes me feel like a hypocrite when I try to set an example for less experienced people. Even when I practice a lot at something I don’t see much improvement.
I’m generally very bright and intelligent and when it comes to knowledge, logic and problem solving I do quite well, but I don’t have the slightest clue on how to be hands on. Is this normal or concerning at all? This is honestly the trait I hate most about myself. ",4.246692307692307,5.106222057894737,5.263684210526319,83.35617408906886,70.52631578947368,8.793522267206479,27.77327935222672,9.057496981413335,2.0506396761133603,741,25,154,14,13,244,112,190,0.16699999999999998,0.6890000000000001,0.14400000000000002,-0.7903,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,7,13,13,1,0,7,0,16,2,1,5,1,40,28,23,0,5,7,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,15,10,0,3,8,0,0,3,5,7,2,0,1,6,19,6,22,26,7,18,0,2,2,0,1,9,0,7,6,112,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.1531596970252137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104595608367053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647084142417643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703955324038297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366341088979997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105574531544146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587163776768405,0.11212447982400647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919779951157802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495475876543213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17251025914953055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085780216135263,0.07667741026721632,0.0,0.0,0.1388950287515305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343252586219007,0.0,0.0,0.20952950730792685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.316335588186104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537565905024764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377681021874615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880875529161003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30035821512488164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693470410516068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136983107727615,0.0,0.0,0.17779275301634165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506812517441232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416541946600909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614975430685127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427001870536506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21311629469490567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294994577338447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822322082142931,0.0,0.14162216530866664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426082569651992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159922005134648,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ohmahgolly,2019/01/22,"Does anyone feel more comfortable in uncomfortable situations and visa versa. I dunno if it’s just me but I feel most comfortable or like my authentic self in situations that most would find uneasy. 

For example, if somebody tries to fight me, I feel like I can be myself and not stumble over what I say. I can make eye contact and not feel awkward. I have been in a fight where midway, was swept with the calmest and seemingly spiritual slow motion sensation. Like what I imagine a heroin hit would be like. 

On the opposite spectrum, when I start to make new friends, I become extremely anxious and uncomfortable when things start to go well. I wish that I didn’t even start to get to know them and feel weird. It’s like, I naturally click with them at first until I’m like oh shit, I think we’re friends, what now? I feel an urge to avoid them whilst trying to force myself carry on with them so they don’t think there’s anything wrong with me or more importantly them. Sometimes I even judge them as if to look for things not to be their friends. In worse cases I’m disgusted by them. Then I’m disgusted by my disgust... then disgusted with myself for being disgusted by a good non-disgusting person. Ultimately, I just never get that natural closeness and comfort from people that came naturally with childhood friends or whatever. It’s fucking lonely. 

Or when people are telling me something positive and exciting, I don’t know how to respond, but if they start talking about problems or negative things, then the conversation flows more naturally. 
I struggle to make small talk about how nice the birds sound or beautiful the day is, but find it easy to talk about some crime that happened in the area and how disgusting some people are. Like, “how fucked are thieves and meth heads...” blah blah blah. Judge judge judge. 

People get awkward if someone starts crying or is in discomfort but I am happy to listen to them or console them while they go on how shit things are. The buzz kills and downers are my people. 

It seems like it goes beyond just standard pessimism. It’s attached itself to my physiology; I don’t get adrenaline in risky situations but can’t breathe and am trying to escape when someone tries to get to know me and give me a chance. I avoid walking the social spots at work but chase risk and almost kill myself every day on my bike. Fuck isn’t that what psychos do?

I don’t want to want to be like this and am constantly at war with my self, trying to fight through discomfort and be positive but it just comes across as unnatural or even sarcastic. At least if I was a full grump then I’d be authentic. 

It’s annoying how a handful of humans have ruined the reputation of all humans for the brain. It’s a cruel biological irony. We need companionship but are wired with fear of those who have hurt us. This is obviously a problem when they’re the same thing: people. Like, maybe a certain ethnicity robs you, then your heart races whenever you see that ethnicity. You know it’s unlikely but all the stupid brain cares about is survival and will look for patterns to keep you safe. Little does the bastard know that it’ll eventually wire its own demise, making itself so lonely and starved of love that it’ll shut itself down. 

Anyway before I drag on any more...

Does anyone else know what I mean or have any suggestions? If not at least this was cathartic. Right now I’m thinking of starting a gratitude journal to try and become more optimistic. At the same time, I’m fucking lazy but will put pen to pad if it get results. 






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mentalhealth,HomoSmurf420,2019/01/22,"At a Loss. Need advice. I've been battling with severe depression and anxiety since I was a teenager (I'm now 24). Recently I've had a change in my behavior, I used to lash out in anger and frustration and now it's gotten to where I'm becoming afraid of myself. I live 900 miles from my family and they are all worried sick, particularly my mom. She has been begging me to come stay with her for a while so we can try to get me back to a level head. She has always been the one person who has been able to help me when it comes to this type of thing. The problem is my fiance lives here with me, we've been together almost 5 years and our anniversary is next month. He has offered to root up and go with me and maybe even move there if all goes well but he just doesn't think he can do it at this moment with the many prior engagements and responsibilities he has. I'm not mad at him but how can I just up and leave and tell him to meet me there when he can? It seems like with me feeling this way I should stay here and wait. But everything inside me is screaming at me to go because I honestly don't think I can do this without my family. I just don't know what to do, I haven't slept in days because of it and ive eaten more xanax than I should have. I just want to be better, get married to my fiance, hold a job, finish school, and be successful. Any advice would be great 😢",3.5612430393389616,3.8533990887372016,4.8822310041314925,87.52597628884499,71.76450511945393,8.352721393928508,24.29477276809772,8.371475516178862,1.1431952218430028,1075,26,248,16,19,359,159,293,0.079,0.807,0.114,0.9476,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,0,1,3,18,16,4,1,9,0,36,5,2,3,2,52,57,22,0,7,10,1,1,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,12,23,1,2,5,0,0,5,6,9,1,1,10,2,36,7,36,41,3,35,0,2,0,0,20,13,0,3,15,169,48,4,0.1292547822095455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526125544730703,0.0,0.0,0.12942999356825288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755033318305916,0.0,0.0,0.08789768423783473,0.0,0.09887955460440567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993889490975817,0.0,0.15758503107084926,0.14275175191795042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431535108588058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673442100519675,0.2226830997458941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335864154381788,0.0,0.11132695451819384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537156461852094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616586385347022,0.0,0.24369981057226045,0.0,0.06535510155680789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506057782017525,0.0,0.14691694281461926,0.0,0.0,0.14250385369549018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265269655256395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663675594118361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826542700289534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103504799778426,0.0,0.0,0.1368621514426787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314735767634871,0.0,0.2282686814968289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310440618202104,0.12985380175302114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138163874535668,0.10316993399710646,0.13737737796374822,0.0,0.0958407832269795,0.0,0.0,0.13746392724338505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758638556524405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286029023601213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367937033490242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762350401881314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081274017954364,0.0,0.1176686992534519,0.0,0.14602111298575465,0.0,0.10692089152580052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755367998787381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297437678628255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587113392537764,0.1656424907210375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775551261354507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163463161096533,0.0,0.0,0.07623781942312136,0.1025964298030487,0.0,0.0,0.11621557208168805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12459699758234245,0.0,0.0,0.13126450551022922,0.0,0.09181888878078884,0.0,0.0,0.0832358419584494
mentalhealth,throwaway2345723,2019/01/22,"I think I might be extremely attention seeking and would like to stop Never posted here before. I daydream a lot, for many minutes everyday. This is kind of embarrassing to share, but these daydreams usually consist of me being some sort of heroic martyr, or doing something heroic or cool in a dangerous situation.

For a long time I've thought about how weird this is and kind of pathetic, but I'm 19 and still haven't grown out of it. I've spent a lot of time wondering why I do this and I think it might be because deep down I desperately want to be the center of attention or for people to feel bad for me. Like I want people to recognize my burden I guess.

I don't really think of myself as seeking attention, but these daydreams would suggest otherwise. 
This is something I see as negative, what would be the next step in stopping this behavior? The thing I'm most concerned about is the attention seeking behavior or state of mind. Thanks in advance.",6.5775260804769005,7.000430617486341,7.147362146050671,73.45073025335323,65.22950819672131,10.80755091902633,35.215598609041244,10.637119530657019,3.8951792349726784,765,34,136,19,11,252,100,183,0.168,0.708,0.124,-0.8993,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,12,1,1,8,1,18,0,0,1,1,40,32,14,0,5,7,0,1,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,2,10,0,1,3,4,5,0,0,2,3,14,7,27,20,4,22,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,13,12,98,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106260829004165,0.08838602902754872,0.0,0.12337786403499805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331252040939536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597254892081015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019745716434325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167193801765152,0.0,0.0,0.12831372261838078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465347286457481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699954904627466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30762807388503005,0.14640100416372534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118270871938894,0.0,0.15420107583837914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20103896547535835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886265178784613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288585233592582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155401807125774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297754684926433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22324448601146515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579112809823396,0.24244029874073156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348953329415073,0.0,0.0,0.0963265163471602,0.2787158506155859,0.0,0.11510777989568967,0.16909248371859067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15968865824517514,0.0,0.17104056330069828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083310035911186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572380866403544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089953498974426,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sorrest,2019/01/22,I don’t feel real. My memory is foggy and everything seems fake. I feel like I’m gonna go to sleep and wake up in the Middle Ages. I’m scared and don’t know what to do or what’s wrong with me. ,-0.4236956521739117,0.671993369565218,2.4906521739130447,97.68858695652176,82.69565217391305,6.339130434782609,13.673913043478262,7.1686216300943375,-0.7435043478260877,149,1,41,2,4,53,34,46,0.2,0.746,0.055,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,4,2,2,0,0,10,12,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,4,1,5,11,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077583542807246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34629068870600005,0.24463551844733694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194613611248206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881932328728367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16729636599752973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897658169723774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34283701354277285,0.0,0.0,0.3117398178028879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34268214280785364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743987417226957,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,No_Backo_Zacko,2019/01/22,"Dont know where to go I turned 18 three days ago. It should have been a great day. It was a friday, my family was home, they sang happy birthday, gave me presents. My girlfriend came over too. Wed been dating for over a year, and she means the world to me. I broke up with her the next day.

Not because I dont love her anymore. She means everything to me. I love her more than anything. I ended things because I was afraid of hurting her so bad shed be out of my life forever. I thought that if I stayed away a little, she could still be in my life, and that would be better than not having her at all.

I haven't been myself for a few months now. I broke my back when I was 16 wrestling and I haven't gone a day without pain since. It's my last year wrestling and the pain has really taken a tole on me, physically and emotionally. I've been more distant from everyone, I dont care about things the way I used to. And I noticed I was neglecting her.

My cowardice ruined our relationship. I love her so much, but it's too late to take back what I said. I dont want to feel like this anymore. It's a vicious cycle, forcing me to make decisions that only drive me farther in to this hole I've dug myself. I don't know how to get better though. I need someone to point me in the right direction so that I can fix myself so I dont make any more stupid decisions.",1.1657555813653389,2.9888355226480847,2.7402245451025955,94.34906181442769,80.53310104529615,5.924325719447673,21.082591302103495,6.937597516519254,0.28701275003226234,1053,30,244,12,27,345,152,287,0.087,0.826,0.087,-0.0265,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,1,2,15,20,2,1,13,0,27,7,0,4,1,33,51,15,0,6,5,0,1,1,1,2,4,2,1,0,14,9,0,1,8,1,0,4,11,11,0,1,15,3,52,9,30,30,6,41,0,5,0,3,20,16,0,1,20,167,66,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243928455500198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324349278615328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446290605623186,0.0,0.0,0.07653144337230781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737698093635142,0.14302320566872548,0.07765148825145025,0.11338441805552282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645026747731884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106367735269967,0.0948201534289964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425328906782433,0.0,0.0,0.2399103772006201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5449791537214603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461298486897698,0.08237079166257942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888659121404953,0.08358280467020397,0.0,0.08767254419473965,0.0,0.0470238201345828,0.06643953760919398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048588894878912235,0.0,0.05285429697965017,0.0,0.0,0.10253332065954993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900070470589677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328703069872454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955890153000307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022212265218738,0.07580777655563023,0.1049085545408908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137793151919375,0.04543532055819245,0.09321087955319116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518096020173031,0.0,0.12415704048635698,0.0,0.0,0.20260950065127506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423206917305065,0.0,0.06836602899461783,0.06895865272438799,0.0,0.0,0.09890702999011662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588162481832117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073103037414724,0.1979180643307128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791548240583982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957846748278256,0.0,0.0,0.09984767516646792,0.0,0.07942187322164758,0.08846472157233909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693093043958013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787989765776054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912610193631197,0.07427027676126649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992476176933103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357072853600365,0.0,0.09137246656214093,0.0738319663227999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115778011341668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032252590261056,0.0,0.0,0.05485407294317365,0.0738194256697067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964911176105117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606484892739509,0.0,0.0,0.11977847689831846
mentalhealth,Cityies,2019/01/22,"Why do I (20F) only attract abusive men? I was sexually and emotionally abused as a kid and sometimes I feel like it’s written on my forehead. I attract abusive men like moth to a flame. What am I giving off that tells them I’m a good victim? Seriously.... because it keeps happening. Every relationship I find myself in I’m mistreated and I feel like I don’t deserve any better. But it’s not like I tell the guys this upfront. 

What is it about my personality, how I carry myself, etc? How do they know? What can I do to change it? I just want a fighting chance. I want to know what it’s like to be in a normal loving relationship. ",0.8671354166666667,3.240741234375001,3.5942500000000024,84.49241666666667,85.875,5.913333333333334,23.37708333333333,7.3011,1.1572420833333332,490,19,99,8,15,172,76,128,0.119,0.623,0.258,0.9308,0,0,0,0,3,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,4,13,2,0,6,0,9,2,1,2,0,17,22,7,0,3,3,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,5,12,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,19,10,10,19,1,4,0,0,0,1,14,4,0,0,5,65,31,0,0.0,0.5140915348278648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835390196344553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816559179711232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791418717238462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530002064921852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269018051703016,0.0,0.0,0.1613015707390111,0.0,0.0,0.12185768484580035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625935386276007,0.20664854139561434,0.0,0.0,0.13218992879060434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387430399506257,0.0,0.121309451057848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432072284369682,0.12789653665942094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285544982828612,0.0,0.0,0.1589706078680834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.353296510596627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053494158947165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170747361349315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999823888151036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628603378677805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105587000960469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304355701769014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528273839104526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061398334817499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305067989446249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fivegreatdays,2019/01/22,"I’m Scared Of My Daughter/Son...           SORRY SO LONG:
         My born daughter is now my son. 
  3 weeks ago the state took him to a mental health facility for cutting, depression, attempted suicide, etc. for a 3 week treatment. 

Unfortunately all local facilities were full and he had to go to our state capital 3 hours away.  We had info from him via phone call, but nothing from medical professionals since he’s 22.    

Picked him up, did a fun shopping spree for groceries (major food allergies, so Whole Foods is a treat!) Got home and the 1st week was awesome. 
  Now, we are being threatened with his suicide on an hourly basis, my 14 year old is being bullied so bad that I want to be with her at all times, the conversations with said son are incoherent and my husband and I are to blame for everything apparently. I can’t keep up and don’t know what to do. I’ve tried talking and hugging, but I’m not “allowed” either one.  I still have hope for his future, so I don’t want to ruin it by calling authorities. 
   What. Do. I. Do. Now????
 Also: medicine has been prescribed, but I don’t know what has been taken because I’m not allowed to ask...  

HELP",2.7431900452488662,4.8015671538461575,4.257056561085975,84.2228699095023,76.55656108597285,6.953936651583708,26.88710407239819,7.908726449838941,1.6778541176470592,875,35,174,14,20,291,138,221,0.174,0.721,0.105,-0.9532,4,0,0,0,0,2,42.0,3,0,0,1,9,9,1,1,8,0,26,5,0,3,2,29,41,14,2,3,6,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,5,11,2,1,3,1,1,2,6,5,0,1,11,1,21,4,25,27,7,27,0,2,0,1,23,7,0,1,16,112,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211199157301102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926807186479917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773658026520174,0.0,0.1283743863728158,0.0,0.11408567849783265,0.08329227524306104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790420624842922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768472265023958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238569325376927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279997713210533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33044253074698704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765360932843061,0.0,0.10928060320195583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523809335996446,0.0,0.0,0.0915844921688612,0.0,0.1370574400048716,0.13571076559470105,0.26911864205284564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144870165846715,0.0,0.0,0.15018357338966798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091890561641587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376467882331005,0.1376973440835528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110630148539665,0.0,0.14337690678333956,0.0,0.09258835416626936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997249648352574,0.0,0.13679686298520286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130270339217246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295325222499173,0.0,0.0,0.10911799770138536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989160677556176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982315473545064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967377791704981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180805699925065,0.09276713988674562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118336611467826,0.0,0.3288044112768698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254965007366494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798935547849221
mentalhealth,philbymouth,2019/01/22,"Tabloid trivialises my son's suicide The Daily Mail wrote this awful article about my son's suicide https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6614555/Student-vlogger-hanged-sobbing-uncontrollably-losing-iPhone.html?ito=social-facebook … … with a headline trivialising his mental health. [Twitter] #friendsofarchie

My family is devastated yet powerless. Please don't believe the headlines you see.",12.463888888888887,17.606346129629628,9.553333333333336,42.60000000000002,59.92592592592593,11.748148148148148,47.88888888888889,10.864195022040775,7.9198,337,21,28,11,6,99,48,54,0.428,0.531,0.041,-0.9716,1,0,0,1,0,2,26.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,1,14,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256655337437736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27249493803839203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072515076166285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29129903585018796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31729513344904353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23033908064408756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29465474844556394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6323576022243802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LilPumpIsAGOAT,2019/01/22,I don’t know what else I can do As far as I can remember I hated my hometown. I have so many bad memories of there and I was sure as soon as I left I wouldn’t be depressed. But even with therapy and going to a college hours away I still find myself sad daily about things I can’t control. ,3.1285937500000003,3.021342171875002,5.031250000000004,87.48875000000002,72.59375,8.275,26.9375,8.07648339933343,1.4178562499999998,225,7,53,3,4,78,47,64,0.233,0.73,0.037000000000000005,-0.9198,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,1,0,1,0,9,0,0,1,1,10,12,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,0,12,1,9,9,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,41,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435172216109377,0.0,0.21641254333016935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907032478558437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22323967806640846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21651970603052706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119232879355875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23689465755262165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730345924928948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558961332933392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552496095525444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424438611034278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816103286396053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627776381727694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29361136364538043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20698920071813395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24428319121814315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964059697291541,0.0,0.17219409599106453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-justbopinby-,2019/01/22,"never done this before... but i have nowhere else to go so i’ll start this off by saying i really hate pushing my mental health onto other people, because i feel like it’s extremely selfish and should honestly be my responsibility.  i do have a few close friends that i’ll talk to some stuff about, but not usually when it gets bad.  normally in this mental state i would talk to my sister, but she’s very sick and went to the ER today, so she obviously doesn’t need another thing on her plate.  well i know this is already long winded, but i can feel myself slipping the slippery slope into full on depression... it’s a slope i know well and i know how hard it is to climb back up that hill once there.  i guess i just really needed to say it out loud, because i’ve been trying to ignore the looming shadows for a while now, but they’re only getting worse and i feel so completely and utterly alone.",3.4984047619047587,4.992711205555559,4.829841269841272,83.335,73.05555555555556,7.80952380952381,25.079365079365076,8.418075326091056,1.5884365079365077,707,22,141,12,14,235,119,180,0.175,0.7390000000000001,0.086,-0.959,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,13,10,1,0,6,0,12,2,0,1,2,32,27,16,0,5,7,1,4,1,1,2,2,3,0,0,14,8,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,5,3,0,3,7,19,5,18,21,3,24,0,1,0,0,9,10,0,2,10,96,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493280854659915,0.15442425688504266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673642864568914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076031225944181,0.11684177502374225,0.17060892152822207,0.0,0.1190763096558271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672156487240254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052776534867185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432044120950876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689963248400514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21226946462880816,0.09997121344123007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811518744812604,0.0,0.14622289545076672,0.0,0.07952957523153467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415667925226184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535630717871868,0.13815908253566425,0.0,0.148746773939418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307175912696697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683662814755232,0.0,0.0,0.12384008012380612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820477085400854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20752342470172366,0.1079282492589714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710881281964532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490286251821588,0.0,0.10642859942892648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701488307108416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17929479654892794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22256746708740446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904831975353344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019469411888784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22495255332580466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296810394908307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264416924910352,0.0,0.0,0.09500822040909428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412113239642478,0.11546290292676913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25164082251857883,0.12972325099218615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260803300935762,0.0994074214051918,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Maxerature,2019/01/22,"Do I Need Help? My dog died today. She was 14 years old, I was 5 and now I'm 19. By all accounts, I should feel awful, but I don't. Maybe it's because I'm away from home, maybe it just hasn't hit me yet. But I'm unsure.

 

This made me realize something about myself. I'm unsure if I can feel certain emotions. I can certainly feel anxiety, fear, and anger. Regret, pride, enjoyment, and a few others are also present.

I'm unsure, however, if I can feel certain others, because I really haven't before. Sadness and love are the big ones. I certainly feel physical attraction, but I haven't felt amorous love towards anybody, that I could tell. I'm also unsure if I feel familial love towards people. I grew up in a family that clearly loves me, but I'm unsure if I feel the same towards them.

On the one hand, I felt absolutely awful when I hurt my mother's feelings recently, but I also don't feel much from my dog's death. I don't really feel grief, I don't feel sad, I don't even feel numb. I just don't feel anything.

 

Is this me overthinking things and everything I ""lack"" is there but I can't tell? Is this an emotional disorder? Is it something caused by ADHD or former treatment?",1.2042419406319809,3.4775092406639025,3.4482365145228218,86.84996728375359,83.149377593361,6.695244174912225,23.37711458665816,7.882392219407189,1.4261016916693268,921,34,186,18,26,315,121,241,0.18600000000000005,0.563,0.252,0.9714,1,0,2,0,1,0,42.0,0,0,1,1,11,20,1,1,6,2,24,6,1,2,6,48,53,20,3,9,13,1,16,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,11,5,0,0,16,0,1,1,10,8,0,2,5,16,33,12,12,45,5,18,0,5,0,4,10,8,0,5,9,119,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535941044110118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302856804031241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343086773302063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899027926112506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901842670283911,0.0,0.0,0.11702728253138685,0.0,0.0816790634866198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860653401727093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663893141269026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962081064331864,0.0,0.11001102913399073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21594807375945504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339943676672181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626818979761244,0.0,0.1809786525464032,0.1080136429312732,0.6309500875570229,0.0,0.18432784519019205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433900508337832,0.0,0.09628419747013052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027575737272894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465331356196832,0.09082655050495304,0.0,0.0,0.19286651076260256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056252285727915,0.07117418666301176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072368493744578,0.0,0.13008845598841762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654627453952429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298526140479715,0.0,0.09477697063587437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779312876413386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779619512251165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377043163863476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098578510320236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061813386255131615
mentalhealth,kallenl8,2019/01/23,"delayed grief?? I don’t know if this is the right sub for this, I’m really sorry if it’s not. If someone wants to tell me a better sub to post this on I’ll be happy to remove this and move it there. Anyway here’s some background: when I was about 10 my cousin lived with us for a yr or 2. We were pretty close, even though he was 18 at the time. We would explore the beach near us for hours every weekend, and I loved it. About 2 yrs after he moved away, he was fatally shot. I was told on Christmas morning and at the time I hadn’t seen him for a while. I feel like a piece of shit saying this, but I can remember that I was barely sad. I didn’t even cry. I remember wondering what was wrong with me, why wasn’t I sad. Anyway it’s been 2 or 3 years and I was just thinking about him. All of a sudden I got really sad and almost broke down in the shower. I’m wondering what happened. What’s wrong with me? We were close but somehow it just hit me now. I’m sorry if this is unimportant I just wanted to talk about it and I don’t feel like getting sympathy from my parents. If anyone knows what this is, id love an answer as to what happened and why it took 2 years to hit me. Thanks for reading",0.4542692307692313,2.182506657692308,2.5352307692307683,95.40976923076923,82.42307692307693,5.544615384615384,18.47692307692308,6.55674776486733,-0.17308153846153784,921,21,219,9,25,310,134,260,0.157,0.743,0.1,-0.9351,2,0,0,0,2,0,27.0,5,0,0,1,17,16,1,0,11,0,21,3,1,0,1,47,45,20,2,8,13,2,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,20,15,0,1,11,3,0,5,6,9,0,0,17,4,29,7,31,24,3,29,0,5,1,2,18,11,1,12,14,146,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155669098079764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069768063709129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843193105803617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207117766441412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677297667357146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245504749610747,0.0,0.09723829447399364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670999771971495,0.16489851868001024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029720463258177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092304291901054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041141863088875,0.12285658616640052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365606047284585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685314676827458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276744729723358,0.0,0.101909555116444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20832490138778548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453261197207843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281496636052028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053132318334624,0.11741393383560425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544169682835788,0.0,0.1478697984161842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614751181049275,0.09855990661823134,0.0,0.09177903409827652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846718395011085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778691257289734,0.0,0.0,0.2583851338100684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276256019068377,0.10087383343481146,0.10625445039514383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395036597692503,0.11339019600695407,0.0,0.1345935406327167,0.0,0.0,0.11027964522654804,0.1282252732472096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277649158841036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614416501662796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827998763794126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503154526780708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198428313142406,0.25236645233518146,0.0,0.14864111130980634
mentalhealth,JordanPippen23,2019/01/23,"Worried About My Mental Health Whats up Reddit Friends?

Not sure where else to turn, but just looking to vent and maybe someone has felt the same way as me.  

I'm the type of person thats usually always cheery and picking others up.  I'm struggling lately with feeling sad, not necessarily suicidal (wouldn't follow through with it) but thinking about it.  I'm transitioning careers and will have a baby on the way later this year so maybe part of this is stress.

For me I think it started when my mom passed away.  Although I might look ok on the outside I just feel out of control, I guess.  And yes I have talked to a mental health specialist and am on anti depressants.  I also struggle with existential issues, like what is the point of it all.  Don't live near family and don't really have a big family as it is.  

Not even sure what I'm looking for.  I hope whoever reads this has an awesome day.  Thank you

",2.3559093730602108,4.710494463687152,3.648109869646184,86.61960117939171,79.22346368715084,6.435878336436996,23.910924891371824,7.594959193182576,1.2307278708876472,715,25,140,11,18,233,112,179,0.13,0.6940000000000001,0.177,0.9111,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,9,12,0,3,9,2,14,2,0,2,3,32,32,14,1,2,7,1,3,1,1,3,2,0,0,1,13,10,0,1,5,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,1,6,12,7,25,28,3,22,0,2,3,0,5,11,0,3,8,95,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973375034993848,0.10377204862713436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717291962170645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398773691217732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043022041645788,0.0,0.10741599580272154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041825540854928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237242872961324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351385425285832,0.0,0.12611830342246952,0.0,0.119745009302528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635373631579848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373865446158371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651303257622532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238691539498212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016902682542456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068283771218262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06092896672213465,0.0,0.11012475747528408,0.0,0.3141850801965016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25058397554188755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513647821235648,0.1323018583553226,0.0,0.14606354357266538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505312171978293,0.0,0.0,0.10889546484723238,0.0,0.0,0.11789505248466832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474776139717275,0.0,0.07989498958117737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566977766748678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827321960324896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285947939776714,0.260756327344954,0.0,0.13641688724045306,0.0,0.23508296078762256,0.0,0.0,0.10024039877431608,0.0,0.1148199064068598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982340633539474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565303254153113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735486477089556,0.0,0.0,0.19798435555510407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665313296277045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031173482773765
mentalhealth,PityFactory,2019/01/23,Losing hair from taking Abilify? Any chance of losing hair from taking Abilify. I will ask my doctor but just curious,3.377142857142857,6.57176766666667,5.120952380952383,70.81571428571431,86.61904761904762,8.514285714285714,21.285714285714285,8.841846274778883,2.8882571428571433,95,3,13,3,3,32,16,21,0.15,0.665,0.185,0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188917309865369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009175019998637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32946127087230026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7202103179573428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4840324741160159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,M_sic,2019/01/23,"Im a failure (swear word warning sorry) I'm a senior in highschool, in Canada. Currently it's 11pm. Tomorrow is my last day of school for this semester and my final culminating for English class is due. This includes a brainstorm, organizer, and an essay, as well as a presentation on said essay. I have done exactly NOTHING. I'm fucking worthless and shouldn't even be in school. I'm not sure why I didn't even do it. I've been going through hell in my personal life, but that's not an excuse to slip up in school. I guess I couldn't find the motivation to do anything. Fuck man I want this to be over. Im going to stay up as late as I can tonight and write as much as I can. I can't take a 0 because my mark is already a 60. How the fuck did I let it get to this point I'm pathetic. My teacher probably thinks I'm stupid, my mom will be so disappointed in me, why can't I have just one tiny period of time where I don't deal with something? I'm seventeen I should be getting ready for college not crying in my bed about a project that won't end my life. For context, I'm a dude. Yes I know I shouldn't be crying. I should be better than this but I'm not. My world is collapsing on me it seems and I can't fucking deal with it. I'm sorry about all the curse words, you shouldn't have to read those. I just wanted the chance to type this out and show others that may be going through the same thing that they're not alone. Try to stay strong guys. Love y'all.",0.8883333333333319,2.7008899140127407,2.8849936305732484,93.02088747346072,81.38853503184714,6.097494692144374,21.93163481953291,7.1686216300943375,0.5266827176220801,1139,36,265,15,30,383,160,314,0.14400000000000002,0.74,0.116,-0.8648,1,1,1,0,0,1,34.0,0,2,0,3,10,13,6,0,15,1,36,7,0,2,3,41,63,16,0,8,9,1,0,0,0,8,2,1,1,3,18,9,0,0,5,2,0,3,15,8,1,1,5,1,30,5,40,41,3,34,1,2,0,5,12,16,5,3,13,164,48,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127397039399113,0.11856114816967385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841279959726879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549356309816577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502069591960192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360324773938986,0.06928899797941954,0.22152892329418453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994697247334616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515869523724632,0.0,0.0,0.1419243418270719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176937163181557,0.09819691861324346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973009556336965,0.11226445069599854,0.0,0.18317946823438144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835571210666836,0.10638108881901942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23210421277749596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059045435554503325,0.0875767849290643,0.1211954015232788,0.0,0.0,0.10986323048912797,0.151774097274025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969675160030566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125830770114393,0.0,0.0,0.07897972067974003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309021819663053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280316449572627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381122673417294,0.0,0.0,0.10156418832494228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583696422670994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746765758728574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219869579297,0.0,0.0,0.3262007461536518,0.0,0.09780805101685364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271147030687555,0.0,0.2405373954891861,0.0,0.2290304690248339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012595931645396,0.0,0.0807804436553409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137742068311355,0.0688423059224336,0.0,0.0,0.0626483018509482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294374552597058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674011999553195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966001891347084,0.0,0.19389322063620235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AllIsWellBud,2019/01/23,"I am constantly confused and have a hard time remembering/memorizing names. Can this be due to depression or stress? Alzheimer's? I am a mechanical engineer and have always been good academically. I have done my bachelors as well as masters in engineering from reputed schools in the US, so I guess I won't regard myself as dumb.

But off late (last couple years) since I started working, I have realized that my short term memory is really short lived. I tend to forget people's names altogether and can't seem to recall technical stuff at work as well. I have a hard time recalling specific words when making conversation. Moreover, I just can't seem to be able to store even simple numbers in my head. This I can clearly say is a problem because, other people around me seem to be much better at remembering names/things which I easily forget. I am perpetually confused and jumble up things in my head.

What could be the cause for this? I am ruling out Alzheimers/Dementia since I am only 26, and also because I do recall the names/numbers when I hear/see them again. 

Could this be due to stress or depression? What would you do to sharpen your memory? Any mental exercises/meditation?

Please help.",4.779672830725463,7.0933340180180195,5.922697961119018,73.41066145092465,71.43243243243244,9.358368895211001,28.80132764343291,9.811843763644266,3.1492306306306315,960,38,164,26,19,319,131,222,0.141,0.768,0.091,-0.8767,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,2,1,4,10,12,1,4,7,0,29,2,2,2,1,31,36,16,0,4,4,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,11,7,0,0,5,0,1,0,3,8,2,0,2,3,27,4,24,25,2,25,0,2,0,0,9,12,1,8,13,116,38,4,0.12232432996613644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782272247935617,0.10178364172958908,0.0,0.0,0.08318473905698266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889458793383763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913555234794906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108185929273813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566078266269606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218914417903296,0.0,0.1953320477132795,0.13534954446158942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107155323124736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518025965559698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079406627440107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025998443370694,0.0,0.0,0.13475404042460146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191571454052577,0.0,0.2510801062306113,0.0,0.13786841013334286,0.0,0.08199141989008997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971065533323632,0.1379871722745823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801462444571316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165244011638519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232741536164065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992245734290827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303316508466396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696085766579853,0.0,0.0,0.13427538099594552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704786351597993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836409806979035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385696201486261,0.0,0.0,0.09727721692817018,0.0,0.12379875251002705,0.0,0.33407842746190497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023758996254704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658179034990247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802442133708792,0.0,0.14003209197169147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126684940619902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265660101891547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714110755176615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21996852640201764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810713818217164,0.0,0.0,0.08689569435146002,0.0,0.0,0.07877285793749629
mentalhealth,celticswing,2019/01/23,"What happened? I have of a recollection of my youth brain being hyperactive, thoughts were always racing. Overlapping constantly.

Something happened one day though, it suddenly stopped. It actually caused me to have brain fog type symptoms, I can barely learn or concentrate anymore. I cant tolerate anything that requires somewhat of a mental strain.

I just want to know what happened, is there something wrong?

I'd appreciate some help, I feel lost.",6.2423,9.736892346666668,5.687583333333336,70.98337500000002,72.2,8.55,37.375,9.188382445141503,4.422500000000001,366,21,51,9,8,112,59,75,0.098,0.7929999999999999,0.109,-0.2255,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,2,0,7,3,2,1,0,13,15,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,1,7,0,5,11,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,5,33,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.18143363036514926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547024906879778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843852526064286,0.0,0.0,0.15299845177800542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151022024548055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19099371696059494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20091627199524412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990469099937899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940080489829342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4932322028842686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246199944951796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217819439659588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20295647218135066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18736624351264966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598596021304664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862645897172868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554396121711774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19324476182144684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266800289047733,0.14760177047963052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109661961988556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20327716799164555,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eaw4242,2019/01/23,"OTC Suggestions Hey all, I’ve had some high functioning depression and anxiety problems for the last few years. I don’t have health insurance that’ll cover therapy or pharmaceuticals, so I’m looking for some other suggestions on how to get a handle on my symptoms. 

(Four or five times a month, I’ll just feel generally down all day and not want to get out of bed. By the evening, I’ll have started worrying about something small and it will have blown up into this tornado in my head that keeps me from sleeping.)",8.171224489795918,7.409014489795923,8.068285714285718,72.12671428571429,62.265306122448976,12.329795918367347,37.967346938775506,11.602472056035307,4.387017959183675,412,18,77,11,5,133,76,98,0.122,0.878,0.0,-0.8665,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,7,4,2,1,2,19,15,7,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,5,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,2,4,0,15,12,5,15,0,1,1,0,3,9,0,4,6,51,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846952310651901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557040140685445,0.0,0.20794549157086892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594639146251978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207554566377235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522770731330125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24777943771304875,0.2566314984512739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550867324121652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21459633330717925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967997423880073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027425259383919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270914877004286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23101833309617506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24160689811683445,0.0,0.0,0.18586656340616975,0.0,0.0,0.17088719334365465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509408502914613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760991487433239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078125470464742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240316646442755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245186462184868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547463906897982
mentalhealth,lacroix5evr,2019/01/23,"Will to live Some days I just cannot find the purpose in anything in life. It just seems that theres no real reason to anything I do. I work to survive, and when im not working im at school getting en education so I can get a better job once I have my degree, just so I can survive better than I would without a degree. And when im not doing either of those things I'm just finding stuff to fill the void so I'm not just idle. Hanging out with people seems pointless, going out and doing things seems pointless. It just seems like my existence as an insignificant human is pointless. Thinking this way makes it really hard  to get out of bed some days. I dont always think or feel this way, but when I do I dont know how to get out of it. I dont want to be alive, it just seems unnecessary and tiring. I know I will never purposely end my life because of how it would affect those who love me, but it just seems like mine, and most other peoples existences just dont matter. ",4.05556561085973,4.334350529411766,5.280000000000001,85.1573076923077,70.66666666666666,7.64947209653092,26.47662141779789,7.321109707123232,1.1986558069381599,764,22,163,7,13,255,105,204,0.037000000000000005,0.868,0.095,0.9357,1,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,6,18,5,0,0,5,0,18,4,0,5,1,54,39,17,0,3,17,0,2,2,0,4,3,0,1,1,17,10,0,0,14,0,0,3,11,0,0,0,0,2,18,5,22,34,4,19,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,10,9,115,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957118892071145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573894338334672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829469750257293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915258425670512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334589802092386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.448307031336086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469912295472834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048353017410532634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480678697122584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984932515601767,0.0,0.05434830123890701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566501612653582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098879698907972,0.0,0.09489726551261626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511065948262127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509152152943646,0.09343923312549908,0.0,0.08444237150409374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630912330272032,0.0,0.06383326070803376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737551657460453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184202029295604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259454924672998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088470117664431,0.061262540287942424,0.09832278641718016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678189694071516,0.0,0.5223436146356238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094726014504815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706363649811958,0.1225507121398391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991174449919207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640460380438706,0.15181208010864278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921831754505402,0.0,0.1392384522659588,0.0,0.0,0.1358645376436039,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GayeFurrie,2019/01/23,"Every time I tell my mom about my anxiety and how apathetic I am she just tells me to push through it is she right in saying this? I’ve tried really hard to push through things and get up in the morning, take care of myself or just talk to people but my anxiety is almost crippling and I can never find the strength to just “get over it” is it possible that I can? If so how?",2.5624472573839654,3.685180962025317,4.182974683544305,88.52399789029535,74.82278481012659,7.79831223628692,24.55907172995781,8.344100000000001,1.2968464135021105,292,9,66,5,6,98,53,79,0.128,0.845,0.026,-0.7374,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,2,1,14,10,9,0,1,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,11,2,12,10,0,9,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,3,2,50,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23080824928249946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35265731317588683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350058304831129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942026532339586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21066898599319767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24084908493268825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20647896337616295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699538959175366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17777257106198308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15979676602963785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25984938258098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476615120664928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684215433119176,0.0,0.18329951208576792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330415651816758,0.185263793521426,0.4029269785302564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313116796817128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344039549460471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649151848670725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,silver_flash2077,2019/01/23,"The older I get, the less I crave intimacy. Seeking insight. When I first returned to university, I had not too long ago broken up with my ex who permanently scarred my chest with a knife. More importantly,  for a long while, I had feelings of loneliness and a desire to seek out a woman who I could empathize with for a mate. Fast forward to two years into the present day and I’m fine with no intimacy. Bumble and Tinder are more so that I can read funny and strange bios than anything else. I just kind of meditate, practice mindfulness, workout, and take one day at a time. Hell, I don’t even drink as much as I did anymore. I guess, I’m just wondering if I should be concerned since intimacy is the only area of my life that seems to have decreased in quality while everything has gone far up?",5.300576923076925,5.935053544871799,6.151692307692312,78.7433076923077,68.03846153846153,9.316923076923075,32.90769230769231,9.3871,2.88832,627,27,123,12,10,207,107,156,0.096,0.8370000000000001,0.066,-0.6712,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,10,0,12,3,1,0,0,24,21,12,0,4,4,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,4,11,1,0,4,3,0,2,3,1,0,3,4,1,15,2,22,14,4,25,1,0,0,0,5,9,1,4,16,86,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327935941853987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20504934899036048,0.0,0.0,0.1701450223927468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165080220292193,0.0,0.0,0.2666848729251983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254508507662106,0.0,0.0,0.1727205958994675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365623553842817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858216380825014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454355199951876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586908158632866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802303266375786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22776832515685505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21530765929779586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603998118461142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659503794958167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876762804093613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199163927439274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010523487337725,0.15724952015246998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206814930530145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18822560880616615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103316369796165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554570204454716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056282314157625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019734788514097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242212925595188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314600336812474
mentalhealth,Succu_B1tch,2019/01/23,"In a constant state of panic and I don’t know to do. Hello...

I’m writing this, I suppose, because things seem to be at a point of spiralling now.

I’m having daily panic attacks. Ones where I’m in tears and hyperventilating but also can’t breathe and my heart races so fast. It can be triggered by someone being too close to me on the train, thinking about my future, basically anything. It’s starting to hurt my body a lot. I can’t go to events with my friends for fear of having a panic attack. I get so nauseous I can’t eat. If I don’t see someone and they get to close to me I jump out of my skin and shake for hours after. Sometimes I get so frustrated by this and don’t know what to do I will just hit myself until it stops. 

I feel so isolated from everyone, including the few who are close to me. 

I go through spirals of very bad thoughts about self harm and they do go away but always come back. 

Changes in my routine distress me to a not normal degree.

It’s made me realize I need to speak to somebody about what’s happening and maybe get some help, and I’ve been contacting my local mental health centres and trying to get in touch with therapy centres (local free ones, as I can’t afford a real one and don’t have medical coverage or any benefits). People keep referring me to other people and then people simply don’t get back to me. I do keep trying but it seems so bleak. I have made an appointment to see a medical doctor but I’m afraid he’s just going to prescribe me some random medication and that it will be hard for me to describe what’s going on and thus do something to make all this stop. 

(Also, I do yoga, take cbd and ashwaghanda and constantly practice calming activities but it only works for a little while). 

I don’t even know what I’m looking for with this post, I guess I just want to put it out there and see if maybe there’s anyone who can empathize with what’s happening or give suggestions. Thank you for reading this.",3.4397906197654926,4.734954771356783,4.8231959798994986,84.11204690117256,72.89447236180905,7.517721943048577,27.08576214405361,8.021203637495839,1.6581364154103857,1541,55,310,22,30,514,197,398,0.14400000000000002,0.8059999999999999,0.051,-0.9895,1,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,2,1,21,18,3,7,11,0,30,10,4,5,1,70,74,37,0,5,13,0,4,0,1,2,5,1,0,1,23,27,1,4,10,2,1,9,11,13,0,3,4,9,39,6,55,63,5,45,0,1,4,0,15,18,0,11,16,213,62,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367422576333978,0.0711395297917113,0.0,0.0,0.05814021901556341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059780798517906936,0.0,0.07035593202115753,0.0,0.0,0.19452810940643087,0.08032631634903058,0.13148230965049212,0.07138559771025524,0.052117574538384885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949667941205934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904434428863655,0.07364724282871372,0.0,0.1847816289664428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750878966204319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748376298301509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646930869295452,0.0,0.0,0.08169510201367979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620678127125283,0.04322935184521767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660540057352988,0.0,0.2680088210374098,0.08201556388288977,0.24294676550369906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418349462094948,0.0,0.15120767970089136,0.0,0.0765876324018942,0.0,0.0,0.09087826133230104,0.0,0.10131318425082388,0.057306173750709184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419634861653376,0.0,0.0915252476563188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198556511523656,0.0,0.0,0.14095911459500726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568946326510217,0.0,0.0,0.0717951162136798,0.0,0.0,0.07268565087639853,0.0,0.1617967849415523,0.05706925098688899,0.0,0.17178446825734445,0.0,0.0,0.2583847082375938,0.08615986984471352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633942085705282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837679379013632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380292838316694,0.06502356868641752,0.0,0.3009334420101172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778165064698635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082136480377235,0.0,0.081881544909039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594710484570392,0.0,0.0,0.0855191470706203,0.09731317756246484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438775381308294,0.15566471415471922,0.0891909850803593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488098473357225,0.06581900594470362,0.08455774064627047,0.0,0.060514516373666165,0.0,0.0,0.14295698629915926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428235988841688,0.0,0.0,0.07871323984227938,0.09777213921340096,0.0,0.0567997504920298,0.05478239143790319,0.0,0.06787428244787146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609235823253662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054316264121921,0.050427762198327966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062242113995532485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cowofkeeta,2019/01/23,"How does being diagnosed as BPD work? Location - England

I’m concerned I may have BPD or something similar. I was wondering how a GP would diagnose it and what sort of therapy/medication might be offered - taking steps for my mental health is hard and it would put me at ease to have some idea of what to expect in terms of how an appointment might go and how soon I might get medication or something.

Thanks. ",3.7664285714285697,6.043306448717949,4.942893772893775,79.47115384615388,74.25641025641026,9.072527472527472,29.091575091575088,9.606745405546679,3.0333421245421253,325,14,60,9,7,107,57,78,0.018000000000000002,0.91,0.071,0.6124,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,12,4,0,4,0,20,18,10,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,9,9,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,9,2,43,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4144138602528015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33396826989034417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439723865730807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595480574117445,0.0,0.09350039429367404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737742675333212,0.0,0.0,0.17487685521716326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572282995979786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18274441062576013,0.16573639119103714,0.16579726398229594,0.5235885301776976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538784072329424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253310761108024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369841564330927,0.0,0.0,0.1514677288690554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784147062874917,0.11977237458149005,0.0,0.0,0.233740292716096,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JLovely12345,2019/01/23,"I really need some help. (Non-emergency) I’m a teenage girl, I have a pretty decent life. I have a nice living condition, a relationship (I love him very much, we have our troubles which I will get to), and amazing friends. However, I have depression, and possibly other things such as OCD. I’ve never been diagnosed, but it’s not something you can just say “I don’t have it because I haven’t been diagnosed”. It’s not just teenage habit either. This has been going on since elementary school, and since 2018 my mental health has gone on a downward spiral. Personally, I am aware my life is better than others and could be better. I know life is shitty, I mean honestly who doesn’t know that one. It takes work to be happy. I try really hard, but I can’t. 
I don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t have a mother to talk to, and my dad, I just don’t feel comfortable. Mostly with girl things he doesn’t understand very well. My dad is always stressed. Money, overworking, no matter what it is. It’s not that he doesn’t have a high paying job because he does. Not only that he has two side jobs that earn a good sum of money as well. He yells at me, a lot. For awhile, he will be amazing and nice and so forth. But when he’s stressed he gets mad so easily and if something small happens he screams at me and calls me a bitch, or stupid and a moron. It makes me feel awful about myself. We recently got a new puppy, and if he has an accident in the house, my dad looses it and tells me to “ shut the fuck up “and “fuck you”, etc when I try to explain how I let him out earlier before that as I was supposed to. 
My boyfriend, I love him so much. So so much. He means the world to me and I wish I could see him more often. However, he has just lost his dad a few weeks ago. I went to the funeral and hearing him cry made my heart break so much. I was there for him and did all I could and was able to do. Now I just feel like I can’t do anything, and that I’m not good enough. And when he’s distant, I get distant because it’s just how I work but I have been doing my best to stay where I am because after such a rocky time we were finally able to be fully happy before this. I don’t know what to do. 
  Your body is your own temple and loving it is amazing. I have been struggling with weight since I was little. I fluctuate easily and I loose weight easy and gain muscle easy but I gain weight even faster. Recently I have been taken out of dance because my dad will not pay (understandable because it’s expensive), and it’s the only form of exercise that truly makes me happy and entertained. Anything else, and I’ve tried many other solutions, makes me bored or isn’t my piece of cake. My sex drive is awful too. At a teenager, sex drive shouldn’t be an issue to most people, but it’s not that. Teenagers are supposed to be super hormonal in that stance, and honestly, I’m not or the second I feel it just dies. It makes me feel weird about myself all of the time.
I’m constantly afraid that I, my boyfriend, or my loved ones will die. I know that at any time someone can die, I’ve come to accept that. However I’m constantly petrified. It makes me have intrusive thoughts and makes me feel terrible. Not only that I constantly prey for them to be okay. And by constantly, I mean almost every second of the day unless the rare occasion I’m super distracted and focused or just completely drained. People have noticed because I’ll just stare at the sky outside of out of a window and my lips will move to what I’m saying in my head. 

Last but not least, lately I’ve been mean. I’m such a nice person and I put myself in front of others all of the time. But I feel terrible putting myself first and when I do I become selfish accidentally somehow. Recently I’ve been so stressed I’ll think mean and negative things I hate to even say or anyone else to say. The stress is so much I haven’t been doing the loads of homework I have missing from a trip recently and I just sit there and do nothing because nothing entertains me anymore, I have to force myself to draw and create art more and more, and it’s my talent and what I want to do as I grow up. 
I can’t talk to many people I know because I’ve tried. My counselor makes it a bigger deal in a way that is too much and stresses me more. I’m scared they’ll put me on medicine and therapists cost so much. Online counselors are... iffy for me. My friends are here, but honestly I’m scared because they have their own issues too. 
How do I manage this? ",2.096406272939607,3.8500381286486487,3.5594874874874884,89.88265331998664,77.44324324324323,6.816549883216551,22.771104437771104,7.706344359429146,0.9218746079412752,3499,105,756,52,81,1152,344,925,0.149,0.6759999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.9825,5,0,2,0,0,0,109.0,4,4,4,12,46,61,7,10,35,3,92,22,4,12,4,145,158,80,4,9,39,6,11,1,2,7,7,7,2,4,49,51,3,0,24,5,6,14,28,27,2,6,22,20,114,34,72,118,28,74,0,3,2,8,63,28,3,15,29,510,163,10,0.09364112515253806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04150360373277007,0.0,0.046884030203881696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038958458780522606,0.0,0.0,0.03183958809736598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04643341701519243,0.032738025985630845,0.04797319935748906,0.07705866725958803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28541380373743386,0.05170963286070847,0.07968170051005025,0.0,0.049135291824635316,0.0828179655321003,0.0,0.052007090081955885,0.0,0.0,0.04780902924309024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04033176888351996,0.0490904690627376,0.20238557934145185,0.0,0.11214722817989893,0.0,0.05143018946578673,0.030195389493193343,0.09653988826425937,0.040326481940098115,0.09504377089962687,0.1457770558219554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040972989828696384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822514429821026,0.0,0.0,0.04837815706657973,0.05221730372931245,0.06184908001276668,0.0,0.0394483433248122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657171826734217,0.03344861925967735,0.0,0.05128963773128429,0.0,0.039825546609078964,0.0,0.0,0.07234690100599661,0.08656971129053333,0.07338543449593428,0.0,0.026609204692381674,0.07854173300485799,0.037446681032032234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04140326885891224,0.14952407846178545,0.04194202757261768,0.0462256122530557,0.0480514049358823,0.04976806859036231,0.052770176838294436,0.05548259208509828,0.031382836159771665,0.04946849498909207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054024642963951534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977370059311526,0.09292436765124848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438814037054235,0.038165007556902115,0.05281563394619058,0.0,0.0,0.04787719742440247,0.099212243988466,0.02287416187679888,0.04692650390454997,0.041343414547316513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051110174894759386,0.03980516798318172,0.16902954288756947,0.04430274838350822,0.2187716236110044,0.09493740334891093,0.0,0.2550065928190641,0.0,0.0,0.04718411476303515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049762848318353536,0.2409295051557393,0.03471685388910925,0.03611090425494458,0.045219591093552856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898511850989716,0.053305520817681584,0.0,0.0,0.0634536498547268,0.10682744296381746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737844849530967,0.08176381857662288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052783149385945326,0.0,0.047633344436151866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120279194592344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05998890259076376,0.0,0.18491862827723765,0.05026776210051417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893436240170865,0.09375110210405252,0.04738490895772236,0.037309926494614655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619135958029987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03967091073240436,0.07208951303387649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049904490032225086,0.0,0.0,0.2681639812047393,0.04894701783873502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035203236166447036,0.07526518933483221,0.04092323539149103,0.0,0.0,0.054362281845593635,0.09331650397886952,0.03000072596741668,0.0,0.03717029677796721,0.10920578623685122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715235442736664,0.0,0.04573688634318726,0.09748371371544147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726373514281643,0.02761598088643055,0.037163983255241485,0.037556631125884685,0.17104449505469654,0.08419461735916707,0.04340313058334533,0.0,0.0,0.053841336297487066,0.0,0.0,0.06817185437146563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Quincythezombie,2019/01/23,"I'm certain I have some sort of mental issue, but I'm too embarrassed to seek help I'm not sure what it is, it might not even be a mental issue, but I've had this craving to eat things that aren't food for a while now. Pumice stone, the kind you can buy in a store to get rid of calluses on your feet, for whatever reason seems very delicious to me. I want to crunch it with my teeth, and feel it crumble apart into small grains. same with drywall, ice, sand, pastel chalk, and certain kinds of erasers. let me clarify this: I have NEVER eaten any of these things before, even though I crave them. (except for ice, but you know... that's a normal thing to eat.) I fully understand all of the messed up stuff it will do to my teeth, and how it will mess up my insides pretty badly. but even so, I still *want* to, even though I never will. but I'm too embarrassed to go to a doctor or a therapist about it. the reason why is pretty embarrassing, but it's because of my body. although not obese, I am slightly overweight. I'm afraid that if I go to get help, they'll think, ""oh, of course the fat person wants to eat stuff that isn't food."" I'm afraid that this could somehow get worse, though, if left unchecked.  


I'm not posting this for attention or pity, I'm posting this because I was wondering if anyone knows what's wrong with me? is this normal for people to feel, or do I have some sort of issue? I'm genuinely very confused on this, in all honesty.",3.8200505050505065,4.459151973063975,4.583991582491585,88.64709848484848,71.35690235690234,7.5561616161616145,24.951010101010088,7.554174236665415,1.002364444444444,1124,30,245,12,20,362,149,297,0.127,0.76,0.112,-0.5808,0,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,3,2,0,15,16,0,6,10,0,22,14,5,3,7,57,48,22,0,9,17,0,3,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,28,7,9,0,11,0,2,2,8,11,0,0,3,3,23,5,38,37,5,19,0,1,0,0,8,10,0,15,5,162,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453439276076266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635540072654195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792364782606378,0.11569877382464347,0.0,0.08075183229186386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054110991458134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576891644306162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713287458648104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913152865329289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25071887294709816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596730174083752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295038496389465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487420138161785,0.0,0.10786627398686408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721724090701506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971488658427614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19764485433822,0.1043077238500308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310775124148017,0.09704038423557902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19127120519743884,0.1006725591536678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463835066589745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18596121916357602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657908327039559,0.08286191337506722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817735078570461,0.1930922566555198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195143406087457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639224251600587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578625088226477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172726902760851,0.0,0.0,0.08944093291702121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101847435107066,0.1891395045820908,0.06080727636201571,0.2797125704890807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879292799661707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660278690233906,0.16792119466640268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563134611753909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291362799629668,0.0,0.0,0.09670991650924657,0.0,0.10375686725090187,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jakelouiss,2019/01/23,"I feel like I have no control over myself So my whole life I've always been depressed, addicted to video games and never happy. I havent been playing video games and I got a full time job and I live on my own now, well a few days ago I never felt so happy to be alive, I was so full of energy and extremely social, girls were giving me looks pretty much all day (I'm a good looking guy) and I was happy.. well that shit never lasts long. It's just getting repetitive now. I'll feel amazing finally like life is going somewhere then out of the blue under the most random circumstances I'll fuck it up for myself and go straight back into hell. I try hardest to stay happy but inevitably I'm going to fuck it up. Wtf is wrong with me",1.7850187969924818,3.678225960526316,3.4719172932330835,89.50842105263159,78.86842105263158,5.9218045112781965,20.72556390977444,6.868970318607317,0.4239984962406016,574,15,119,6,14,191,98,152,0.209,0.67,0.121,-0.9539,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,9,17,4,0,5,0,10,6,1,1,4,21,25,11,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,9,0,1,3,5,0,3,5,6,2,0,7,6,15,11,15,17,8,29,1,1,3,2,6,10,4,2,17,78,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609066566671918,0.0,0.0,0.11066039429813558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387431505125724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599188310838028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400152170157393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101896735604454,0.0,0.10752185330413612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262425918804704,0.08918351813101852,0.11986301693627847,0.13675274010654295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308194355210222,0.0652221364466566,0.11975494562336028,0.2128430896395,0.10470728275956848,0.09984348623898706,0.0,0.0,0.123608174222248,0.0,0.5315648760264795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238813770293502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175874875423094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635201205910184,0.12197802334582965,0.0,0.11023328443705642,0.11047674276316513,0.20966313785195467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176949758818777,0.0,0.2888457779987349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270040238188169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281433008897756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725551534497553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305954296814554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727934099555437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475607183093133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22448676058916855,0.0,0.0,0.1393759591511814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648957102623066,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wendigonads,2019/01/23,"Having Trouble Reading Suddenly? Hey so over the past year or so I’ve been struggling with reading and spelling to the extent that it makes me cry with frustration. Tonight I’m pulling an all nighter with my boyfriend to help him revise for his biotechnology exam tomorrow. I study English literature so obviously I don’t understand any of it, but I’m a trained tutor so I’ve been reading it aloud to him and asking him questions and pretty much tutoring him. Now there are a LOT of scientific words and terms in his notes. Many of them are long as well. I’ve never seen these words in my entire life and I’ve been having a lot of trouble reading them and pronouncing them; some of them I just can’t read at all. This is very upsetting for me because before the past year or so I could read and spell really well (I taught myself to read at the age of three and by year three (2nd grade) I had read all of the books in my classroom and even the ones in the year six (5th grade) classroom. But now, there are so many words that I can’t even read at all and it makes me so sad and confused because my reading difficulties have only arisen during my early adulthood. I’m really anxious not knowing why I’ve developed a reading problem. I also struggle to find the right words when I’m speaking to someone, switch around letters and word order and something weird; it’s like I’m autocorrect; for example if I’m reading aloud , and there’s a word with some of the same letters as another word, I often replace the real word with a similar one. I’m really confused and frustrated and worried. I’ve also become very confused, even more forgetful than usual, and sometimes forget what someone said seconds ago. I also lose things a lot and I’ve been having loads of trouble waking up in the mornings. Can anyone help?",4.6387731531924175,6.089041368271957,5.3157648725212505,81.13317661799958,70.16147308781869,7.923687077794727,30.85737633471345,8.384062270229773,2.368942558291568,1445,61,267,22,26,467,171,353,0.177,0.774,0.049,-0.9933,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,4,1,24,18,2,6,19,0,18,2,1,2,6,66,33,36,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,11,24,0,0,4,13,0,1,5,15,2,6,8,3,29,3,38,24,14,33,0,2,1,0,19,12,0,13,20,181,40,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897380576662736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596092766694336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045241895046836664,0.06976129331386112,0.0,0.07515865663136756,0.0,0.04651851434614044,0.0,0.0,0.059224775774032574,0.062195488070179474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111073116976444,0.07347588089521062,0.05661114585724484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531178681457081,0.0,0.07307881078532352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182502132836066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080615781584416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918576304885792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036562512585279545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04699128975497705,0.032502632501081236,0.0,0.0,0.058875933081275166,0.0,0.07442875861463913,0.0,0.16968133130771795,0.0,0.0,0.08881703947001861,0.13489961067322834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048906354982669216,0.0,0.05131114558871208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016333246169614,0.05059818349315464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127018618300963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768375153347174,0.0,0.0636591184474229,0.0,0.0,0.07452753071856003,0.0,0.7985621674858079,0.07572438908041754,0.1278602424136306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056815268961610085,0.06328416525406817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273934664477288,0.05121715413972358,0.06579872749863824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910078466743034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0441988075373269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925887249550715,0.0,0.0,0.07327212214584096,0.10978652693522332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963484045156755,0.0,0.06003193348593094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756327010390638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136957628279906
mentalhealth,ThatProudGeekyBoy,2019/01/23,"Should you still see a therapist even if you don't know what's wrong with you? And what should you say? I know something's wrong since I've been thinking about death regularly and I feel like garbage, but I can't seem to get why. Even as I'm sitting here typing this all out, I only know how I feel but not why I feel this way. Would a therapist be able to bring a reason out of me even if I can't? I don't want to waste anyone's time. ",1.141778350515466,2.368794969072166,2.641842783505158,97.71781572164952,78.69072164948453,6.087113402061857,19.341494845360824,6.6274283507984215,-0.2461536082474227,340,7,87,3,8,111,58,97,0.029,0.85,0.121,0.6847,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,0,7,3,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,2,1,25,22,8,1,6,5,0,3,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,9,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,5,13,1,9,17,1,7,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,3,3,52,17,1,0.17469580145556635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221513662574338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34615478779817505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26499433871236644,0.1248027154657282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127134595722887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28802473137023543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534754436541353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286402910126408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961637944096812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892511309351271,0.0,0.0,0.13920993581842525,0.15903649652970206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451017222064508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448936282514548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951229270618154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4056705803352668,0.0,0.11193801566543064,0.0,0.0,0.10186652669516162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304010991063632,0.13866539577519565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152715772398806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240988850866272,0.3820048693706186,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,i28804,2019/01/23,"I do not know if this is appropriate here, but I need to vent, how can a psychologist help me?  

According to the title, I do not know if I can talk about my life and problems here, I looked for a sub about mental health and I'm here.  


I am a 19 year old and am having a moment of lucidity in days, using this sub to ask for help. I'm an extremely paranoid person, with everyone, sometimes I think my mother and my stepfather are doing something behind my back, making fun of me. Sometimes I think my friends hate me, and within a few hours I was pretty sure they all knew each other, that I was not aware of anything, like I was an idiot who was the only one who took the initiative in the conversations and that I was a burden to all of them. I do not know if I am being clear, but I feel that the intentions of the people are not true, but there is nothing rational that confirms this, they are small signs that I take and increase a lot, I misinterpret, I can see it sometimes in these moments of mental clarity .  


But I'm not always like this, I just blocked all my friends, and I just realized that it was out of control, I do not know what I do now, I also deleted all of my Instagram photos with them.  
Another problem I have allied with this: a need to always have everything under control, from the way I walk, to the environment around me and people. When I feel dishonesty (real or not) I erupt, it attacks me in a very intimate way, not to mention the countless situations of life that I can not predict or control, it makes me very distressed and destroys my self-esteem. I know that as a human being, I can not control everything, but it does not do much good when your mind needs it to be in peace.  


My question is, if any of you are a psychologist or have been there, should I go? How long can they heal me? I already visited 3, but I distrusted them, did not reveal everything and I know they were in collusion with my parents, so the sessions did not work. But this time I'm going to find someone that I know they do not know, and I'm going to get better. How would a psychologist approach that? Sorry if something is disorganized or misspelled, I am writing quickly and nervously.

Enviar feedback

Histórico  
Salvas  
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mentalhealth,coffee_talks,2019/01/23,"I have an overwhelming urge to relive and recreate my childhood. Should I do this or is this a negative thing? I had a really traumatic childhood. I'm currently 22 and for several years have been longing for my childhood again-- not the traumatic parts, of course, but everything else about it: my home, my family closeness, the way I spent my days, the routines, etc. I'm starting to think maybe I should try to recreate my childhood in these ways since I feel the urge so strongly, but at the same time, I'm concerned that it might be a side effect of trauma or my depression.

Important to note: **I'm not feeling a desire to recreate traumas or emotional difficulties.** For some reason, I want to completely recreate my home, daily routine, etc. 

What does anyone here make of this?",4.286233421750662,6.687975172413792,4.873103448275864,79.99108753315653,73.13793103448276,8.323607427055705,31.84350132625995,9.057496981413335,3.1286127320954904,620,30,107,14,13,198,89,145,0.174,0.7659999999999999,0.06,-0.9547,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,4,5,0,1,10,0,10,0,0,3,0,23,21,8,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,3,0,0,5,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,3,2,15,1,15,14,5,17,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,5,11,77,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641309615809346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18955566193262585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659507745547967,0.0,0.15571480826146114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821120385734136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102747325832444,0.20336526024378684,0.0,0.0,0.4032589527754172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624830688556555,0.0,0.1704334293561056,0.0,0.18282647094533616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626957265233756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599941248041645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206792296445316,0.0,0.1816286085387251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917904158731644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195778764573674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581918401178445,0.1858830018977203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204242087723562,0.0,0.14955197683381874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796462354067292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010934110480118,0.1158434127395533,0.0,0.0,0.1054205403422803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227450519925182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663506861496998,0.287006564838371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642331569326315
mentalhealth,TraumaLlama-DingDong,2019/01/23,"I experience a “freeze response” during normal romantic touch/sex. How common is this? I experience a really bad “freeze response” during normal touch/sex?

Someone once noticed this reaction and described it as me having “fainting goat syndrome”

How common is this experience?

Is it unusual or is it normal?",5.538823529411764,9.079973764705883,6.928921568627455,60.52514705882356,76.05882352941177,8.890196078431373,33.990196078431374,9.2995712137729,4.648749019607843,246,13,29,7,6,83,31,51,0.075,0.8059999999999999,0.119,-0.3925,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,2,0,7,5,5,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,21,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004069833779435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6327778220055403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6338101180840205,0.0,0.2454943504972019,0.0,0.2296371973522756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813706772446066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18270123459057613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ferguson-the-cat-,2019/01/23,"Nothing Like You I've blocked my mom but whenever the block expires, I get calls day after day from her. I've always called her back and gotten hurt even more but this time I blocked her again and wrote. I don't know if anyone can relate to this but I thought I'd share. 


I try not to think about you, because it hurts too much. It hurts so bad and so deeply. You have hurt me in ways that no one should ever experience. You’re my mother. You should be my safe place, my protector, my teacher but instead you made it so I never feel safe, so I am always vigilant to protect myself. You taught me that I was unworthy of love and I still feel that if I’m being honest with myself. How can I be loveable when my own mother let her boyfriend put his filthy lips on a place on my body that should only be touched with permission. Now I view sex like it's disgusting, the complete opposite of what that experience should be. I hide my body because at such a young age it was on display without my consent. Hiding myself makes me feel in control which is something I didn’t feel at all for the first 20 years of my life. You taught me that the world is filled with horrible people so never trust anyone. Friends aren’t really your friends, they just want what you have. Men? They just want sex and if you don’t give it to them well then they’ll find it elsewhere. Family, family is there to lend you money when you’ve spent everything you had on things you don’t need, so now family steps in to pay your bills for you. How can I possibly unlearn all of this? I have not followed in your footsteps but I hear your voice daily. I fight it, constantly. It’s exhausting. I have friends but I hear you whisper don’t get too close. I trust my husband and he has never broken that but I hear you tell me it’s only a matter of time. Family? I got a new one and I love them dearly and never take advantage of what they’re willing to do for me. But I hear you whisper, they’ll do anything for you, let them. I wish you would get the fuck out of my head.  I have these thoughts that aren’t my own. You put them there and I will never act on them but sometimes they’re so loud all I can do is isolate myself and wait for your voice to quiet but I need help. A little weed and alcohol to numb the pain. Your voice never quiets in my sober mind. You haunt me like a ghost though you’re still around. A reminder of how my life could’ve been and I guess for that part I’m thankful. I am incredibly thankful that I am nothing like you. ",1.475462292609354,3.5277263576923086,2.6826244343891403,93.98982654600306,80.61538461538461,5.770739064856713,20.773001508295625,6.881172211772175,0.2847843137254897,1966,55,435,22,51,630,228,520,0.165,0.691,0.14400000000000002,-0.9036,3,0,2,0,1,0,47.0,0,27,9,3,32,31,3,0,13,0,47,15,4,6,10,81,87,39,1,13,18,4,5,4,3,9,6,12,0,1,29,18,1,8,9,0,4,6,17,11,1,3,14,18,99,20,44,57,8,53,0,4,1,5,64,19,1,4,31,306,128,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804357603276554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152850662159058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212425060720462,0.0,0.06009493860541116,0.06500944761797428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05615319916284997,0.06097443368980316,0.08903307374864483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223290626051431,0.0,0.0,0.14913731468878114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656734354094315,0.07891616477205435,0.08190590821140037,0.05830605893675556,0.0,0.0,0.09419265306767426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04823359653557868,0.06605703632201923,0.0,0.0,0.06563189316433918,0.1428686947061437,0.2753731500989564,0.0,0.1476984339747693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674528826350748,0.062116666781613775,0.0,0.0,0.1692612678960976,0.06751221725088244,0.1144606658121476,0.07005408264292863,0.0,0.0,0.05840630464099781,0.0,0.08044739319474815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494669534831079,0.0,0.3292266165581175,0.0,0.04894840981175925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31270734283485874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04013368924794519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934996112124546,0.10316215637465223,0.14270907115543738,0.07319216569397995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181930551835894,0.06909984402375294,0.048746040821157036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737363786109337,0.08552825427020691,0.0,0.0,0.053683193914697835,0.10829708206662302,0.3379372083157998,0.07052986113488058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014261196489314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989698713439558,0.11108053737216934,0.07770579908571076,0.0,0.0,0.07908104549502692,0.0,0.05062767621888502,0.0,0.1525951914056996,0.0,0.0,0.08232688767022385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682446357081005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678291938340502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056219696160469984,0.07222549807487151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663879643462195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490716077421385,0.0,0.06382875297082033,0.13446676576844413,0.0,0.0,0.04851584536744859,0.04679270610939212,0.07174858497786699,0.11595044566717015,0.08516517677565548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04958048980463856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614634718805149,0.05796537551143225,0.0,0.0,0.06565997753452814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839773620358894,0.07039535163476891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051876233680235764,0.0,0.0,0.04702694669194403
mentalhealth,buttchina,2019/01/23,"How to find a mental health professional...? I am trying to find a therapist of some kind but I have no idea how to find someone that is right for me. I'm not sure if I need a psychologist or a psychiatrist. My insurance's ""doctor finder"" is basically useless. I don't have a lot a money to go around to a bunch of different offices and meet with different doctors to see what one is best. I tried a psychologist a while ago, but I hated her so that really turned me off from getting help.  What has helped you find the right doctor? I'm very frustrated and my mental health is weighing on my daily life. ",3.7040404040404016,4.9833613140495885,5.549201101928379,79.22359963269055,72.22314049586777,9.014141414141417,26.66758494031221,9.444778638647367,2.279687970615244,473,16,95,11,9,163,78,121,0.16,0.748,0.092,-0.8622,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,4,6,2,0,10,0,9,7,0,2,1,20,17,10,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,5,0,1,1,3,3,0,1,0,1,13,3,14,17,4,8,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,4,2,67,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740751148422797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790715303938262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389964200777785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767607670176716,0.0,0.4066996365605422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4842217373812726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919882025050525,0.0,0.07527347566303641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076537007269365,0.0,0.281572902545676,0.0,0.0,0.17755473575547828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951811729413145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792462261896746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935522189868275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260288979260435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669536617390232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820880731047338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975046085158095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484983394695265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22622041282146746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554422337869132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222309603267028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483104567102325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378279609623155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984753334673015,0.14406582122217562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928379773359408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bananasdonthaveseeds,2019/01/23,"Trying to push myself to go to my first addicts recovery meeting. Hello everyone. 

I am having trouble keeping my life on the right track and I really want to push myself to go to a weekly recovery program. I have never done anything like this before and I am absolutely scared shitless. 

I don’t know what to expect, what to do, or what to say. But, I don’t want my fear to keep me from getting better. 

Support and stories are appreciated. ",2.4646928104575174,5.000877482352942,4.7521568627451,77.81359477124185,80.05882352941177,6.601307189542485,27.091503267973856,7.793537801064563,2.0890522875816995,346,15,59,6,9,120,56,85,0.124,0.742,0.134,-0.0302,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,2,2,0,9,2,0,0,1,12,18,5,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,3,3,0,1,1,1,12,3,12,17,0,9,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,46,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423166823144229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829164984735109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18914287215238404,0.0,0.0,0.1965875196725105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274683678629857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21239690205915804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501254272952064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890702186941839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161314895462179,0.0,0.2526523088233017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39514318964656187,0.0,0.0,0.12215860567327558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570020775204606,0.10859418530884912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714350999810422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423974797306882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982486559462355,0.0,0.17676500932162048,0.22253983795407736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25223932805927624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091270243596652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622115697194987,0.0,0.178298631531376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,djenek,2019/01/23,"My parents don’t take my mental health seriously I am an 18yo female and my parents won’t let me go to therapy. I have been through a lot of stuff they don’t know about and I simply cannot tell them. Because of everything that has happened and my nearly-abusive parents, I believe I may have developed Borderline Personality Disorder over the past few years, and it continues to manifest itself. It has caused me so many problems and my boyfriend is urging me to get help ASAP. Problem is, I don’t have the money and neither does he. I have talked to my parents multiple times, begging them to let me go to therapy. It always ends up in me crying, and my parents frustrated at me for even asking. They say I’m just being a teenager and I just *want* to have something wrong with me so I can be special. I literally showed them the list of symptoms and why I’m so concerned and they laughed. I need to approach them again because it’s geting out of hand but I’m terrified. Also, may I mention, they let my sister get therapy a while back for depression but they won’t help me. I just can’t help but think that if they knew who I am and what I’ve been through, they’d understand. Unfortunately I have no close relationship with them. What do I do, or what do I say?

TL;DR: My parents are dismissing my mental health issues for just being a moody teenager and will not let me see a therapist. ",2.7969675090252686,4.857225779783394,4.407734296028885,83.19602021660653,76.40072202166064,7.464490974729243,28.40851985559567,8.364918446050245,2.165770945848376,1099,48,214,21,25,368,141,277,0.122,0.823,0.055,-0.9517,7,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,12,0,12,9,1,0,9,0,37,4,1,1,0,38,54,22,0,5,10,7,1,0,0,5,3,2,0,1,12,16,0,0,4,1,1,3,10,7,0,0,3,4,48,2,25,38,3,17,0,1,1,0,32,6,0,5,8,164,60,0,0.0,0.10513536211611098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096060309162945,0.07383385392405327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295437649615113,0.0,0.0,0.06823102199828332,0.0,0.10818292998589414,0.0,0.0,0.09997290981845837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115433200699216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747020840058862,0.0,0.0,0.07642652379063734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169693087837643,0.0,0.07765178193743494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859204765642358,0.0,0.0,0.058608015844851126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974845980365204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271977760124503,0.0,0.1008592328233877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846724435709883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18864033236449207,0.0,0.0,0.178429728480547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261531442438448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048765923843578106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629463907533943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543853248532477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996241882002888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17884614258361936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579518797680753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5911720973576421,0.0,0.08470670953389459,0.0,0.0774791666049858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981304087981122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526718253736413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112978672731075,0.0,0.0,0.07070956472481865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683118216352599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015792798098697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922286735815428,0.06671697695769402,0.07132108364734016,0.07755748760537758,0.0,0.3044254241907658,0.10302709353513936,0.0,0.05685720862759655,0.0,0.0,0.05174154933911439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237529542670966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052337653042824187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006869576398594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701677497786236,0.0,0.05714183131302252
mentalhealth,glenn2107,2019/01/23,Come into my world. A journey of my mental health. I created a website in order to tell my story and help break that stigma around mental health. I want the world to know that if you have a mental health condition you are not alone and together we can overcome anything. ,4.544038461538463,6.23417378846154,5.1376923076923084,81.38230769230772,70.73076923076924,7.507692307692308,26.461538461538463,8.07648339933343,1.7712923076923082,215,7,38,3,4,69,38,52,0.0,0.847,0.153,0.6946,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,10,6,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,6,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,0,27,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942801731079072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664011561643006,0.18000929023762074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418554488519356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6448176005122965,0.0,0.0,0.1355367386022643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112903094630172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6113387263272065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767399807263248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926837853639355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,th_away123321,2019/01/23,"Reoccuring Anxiety(?) during deployment Not sure if this is the right subreddit as I'm pretty new to reddit, but here goes. I'm currently deployed and am in a long-distance relationship. The relationship is relatively new but very good, and I love her very much. My problem is that a few times (the worst of which being a few minutes ago) I get extremely nervous/anxious about her and overthink every single possible thing, from what she says to even when she was last online, and I know that's really unhealthy to obsess on. And I've only ever confronted her in these moments where I feel this way once and immediately apologized, though she did understand why I felt that way and we just talked about it. 

​

I think I just had a panic attack a few minutes ago or something, because I had shortness of breath, was very worried about her and I, and out of nowhere started crying for a minute, and after that, I feel fine. Is there something wrong with me? I've never really felt this way before, but for the past couple months, it keeps happening to me, getting very nervous about us. The crying was a first, though. She's given me no actual reasons to suspect that things are going wrong, and that's why I know I shouldn't be feeling scared about us. can someone explain what's going on in my head? Thanks for reading everyone, sorry it's a disorganized post.",6.494825581395348,7.1599766511627925,6.797974806201553,75.04486918604654,65.43410852713178,9.550775193798447,32.79166666666667,9.516144504307137,3.061952713178295,1088,43,191,20,16,352,150,258,0.195,0.696,0.109,-0.9751,1,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,3,0,0,1,15,15,2,4,13,0,16,3,2,1,3,40,38,20,0,3,8,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,18,14,0,1,12,1,0,2,4,10,0,1,9,6,28,5,26,26,6,31,0,0,0,1,18,9,0,2,16,137,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.09458578210135356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718380795570019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501926700890042,0.11777568394422648,0.0,0.0,0.07414811517322539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026730352141967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059085182372458876,0.0,0.0824768764638149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724676165592006,0.21293729204713785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401870064219017,0.08767510485124758,0.08166432488956027,0.09261693477043548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702607480726204,0.0,0.18612829613408946,0.0,0.0,0.08244519549044035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012796560384842,0.0,0.11017054476326676,0.08129691972975088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571133068235431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947402636844176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861522712094083,0.0,0.0,0.10653597584147327,0.07900761638775902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577644889367182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747948800185801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736539852992687,0.0,0.0712517532920574,0.0,0.07475529689168862,0.18722344550850906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322301341255574,0.0,0.0737165811796457,0.0,0.11372176251246405,0.0,0.0,0.09252682251504277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926948755885564,0.09282830324972333,0.0986085748539797,0.0,0.09274507993926316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695221709297376,0.0,0.12418653910515362,0.09965605819587628,0.0,0.20812447416850086,0.0,0.08277426376815593,0.0,0.07707943561943326,0.09703982240699244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212507470949001,0.14923672117368206,0.0,0.1085007076082631,0.06860471285911107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913515961884714,0.0,0.0,0.0779054372968813,0.0,0.08923642691359021,0.0,0.0,0.12878663852862188,0.062106259118485975,0.1904585812841336,0.0,0.05651832279517245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090337131206506,0.2331800576672152,0.0,0.0,0.31989636253825804,0.0,0.23080601213769736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492125577138234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843304525054253,0.0,0.0,0.21194670336631574,0.11777568394422648,0.0
mentalhealth,GUACISBACK,2019/01/23,Getting help when GP isn’t helpful- self referral? (UK) I’m really not a fan of my GP as he doesn’t seem to get mental health and ideally I would like to be referred to a psychiatrist but he won’t let me until I try a whole new kind of meds even though I’ve tried 2 others before. And even then despite the fact I told him I’m suicidal he said we’ll wait and see what happens so not a guarantee to see someone. I’ve tried changing GP but they’re out my catchment area. Every psychiatrist seems to want GP referral but I can’t get that is there a way I can self refer? ,0.8501219512195135,2.728674764227641,3.277418699186992,89.82149390243902,81.84552845528455,6.701626016260162,22.445121951219512,7.793537801064563,0.9939219512195121,448,15,101,8,12,155,82,123,0.095,0.8270000000000001,0.078,-0.7103,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,6,0,10,1,0,0,1,18,24,12,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,2,3,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,3,10,3,10,17,1,7,0,0,2,0,11,2,0,2,5,54,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376614393212642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114001716135266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21370611622877184,0.0,0.1363052165345814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25356749349626284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306003881039764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196279473288956,0.0,0.0,0.21687320265925672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684672307143569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542929846935844,0.0,0.07903671801860088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796992491316041,0.0,0.16303450126694674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624651471067308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363933777876708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388823425493106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578327595592116,0.29455382282745673,0.3375401517270576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707425006371085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695923022902718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589463832457502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545861227130189,0.0,0.32951059047775416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542104781298057,0.12841210448772036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806197227966571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492268066929033,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PsilocybinBrain18,2019/01/23,Who else has had a positive life changing experience from psychedelics? Growing up I’ve always been interested but afraid of trying psychedelics. The past couple years I’ve been really into mushrooms. I want to try lsd and dmt just have no idea where to get some. I have learned so much about myself personally and about the world through mushrooms. Its like there’s a new frequency of information coming through my mind. Thoughts I would normally never think about. I felt like a genius lol I actually wanted to write a book to tell the world how great this is! Than the next morning my frequency was back to normal. Remember the thoughts just didn’t have the same pattern to create those thoughts. I am now anxiety free due to mushrooms. Anyone else have experiences like this? ,4.348085106382978,7.3649887730496495,4.144085106382981,82.09400000000002,76.16312056737588,7.447943262411349,28.54893617021277,8.447377352677275,2.4364672340425537,631,27,109,13,15,192,97,141,0.032,0.745,0.223,0.9824,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,1,10,1,13,1,0,1,1,27,22,5,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,9,1,1,2,3,1,0,0,9,1,9,7,18,12,3,15,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,11,71,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.14912324424233747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715248687540245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169013697770928,0.0,0.0,0.10685025921881884,0.1565747668828178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117503606652526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165567467547015,0.13163469177552364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908445093236327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25531096313998525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.298960471638042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467242472820698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983837818258457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847664577541466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725070449245086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793619619889064,0.22396983804294765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15429736074615386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233498706476516,0.0,0.1178586479820227,0.14758754948254435,0.16251814092389058,0.0,0.2994481874077168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587710379233285,0.0,0.13343023818032265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789578936263507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310710746710886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356511817703293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791626861614064,0.0,0.3639488692179641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20749971358704472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026589126614934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855382503317322,0.0,0.0,0.09840642970552782
mentalhealth,Tytymon,2019/01/23,"Needed to vent before I did anything stupid There's a lot going on in my life right now. I'm currently in my second semester of college, and it's genuinely not going well. I'm scared that the major I'm choosing isn't going to help me out in life. It's something I'm passionate about, and something I genuinely love, but it's impractical. It's not something I can just go and *do*. Yaknow? It's a competitive field where cuts can be made at any moment at the digression of the professors in charge, so that's neat I guess. I haven't been cut yet, but the worry still strikes me every so often that it will. Sleeping is hard, very very hard. I haven't gotten a full 6-8 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. I really don't like myself. Like, as a person. I never really have. Not many others have liked me either, and those who do choose to stick close to me always wind up getting burnt out because of my shit personality. The people I care about most I try my best to cling on to, but again, they get burnt out. I genuinely don't think anyone really likes me. And I know for a fact that no one really knows me past the front I put on. I do have a girlfriend, we're going on our second year right now. She's sweet and wonderful and everything I could ever ask for. But even now, it feels like she only stays with me because of familiarity. Because I'm part of the routine. I love her to death, but I know she's going to get burnt out sometime sooner or later and leave. And then I'll truly be alone. What's worse is that I don't think anyone will really care. I've tried to kill myself a few times in the past, but I'm too much of a pussy to really follow through in any way. A guy like me, I really don't believe I deserve anything. I'm not a valuable member to any society/group/anything. At times it feels like maybe I will be valued, or maybe I'll make a new friend, or maybe I'll be able to finally get some fucking sleep, but none of it ever happens. I like to think that someday things will get better. That I'll eventually have a wife and kids, have a good house doing the work I have a passion for. But then reality comes crashing back down on me, reminding me that I'm nothing special. That I'm just another human being out of 7 billion on this earth. It's really hard for me to come to terms with a lot of things going on in my life, and I really needed to get this out before I did anything stupid. Or maybe this was the something stupid I did. Who really cares, honestly.

\-Ty",2.2512094819071535,3.7868747683397714,4.14288856963276,86.81628490616865,76.4131274131274,7.2124270449851835,22.08512166651701,7.97965635744439,0.9794084044177068,1942,52,415,31,43,660,225,518,0.149,0.701,0.15,0.8624,1,1,4,0,0,1,64.0,1,0,1,3,21,34,8,1,26,0,36,12,4,2,4,67,84,28,2,3,19,1,5,8,2,4,3,0,0,5,29,22,0,0,11,0,0,12,14,9,1,4,7,6,50,25,62,67,13,71,0,0,0,5,20,31,2,11,34,268,79,3,0.06334501768182964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656063344605945,0.0,0.0,0.052708129174847865,0.0,0.0,0.12923035265057284,0.06642277419323588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885846184163145,0.0,0.20851020882738835,0.0,0.05921904058368116,0.0,0.0,0.048708408542735,0.0,0.1158436044949379,0.0,0.10780388893245972,0.07136814299463358,0.06647668798005728,0.05602352046131795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937534017522429,0.0,0.0,0.10913224756342184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05057584218794018,0.0,0.0,0.04085229600221698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04183878675775834,0.11459839012783675,0.053370909445151736,0.0,0.05693041738210947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405828848950756,0.0905073865776642,0.0,0.06939137059044148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048940203526871236,0.05856144811883529,0.1985709436174032,0.0,0.2520030333456238,0.05313079544751095,0.0,0.0,0.06978167855697567,0.06272152659450428,0.05601578993590844,0.0,0.1702340808403182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04245883009646465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062382082534482124,0.07309164553995724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008187671976769,0.0,0.10443829530781464,0.0,0.0,0.06707322742654763,0.0,0.0,0.13422737797022372,0.2475774076712636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077073375876455,0.11434270322492444,0.05993858734899905,0.04228329118474482,0.06422190553570847,0.2545543376418443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656587656729435,0.09393905593854414,0.04885558273269685,0.061179012804900575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078125289028991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04292422336315073,0.04817674038284984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859648122251147,0.18140996104637844,0.043915459379030734,0.1106208522170818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367923878152162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4058044036885956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819259797797226,0.0,0.0,0.06341941332719303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502275035803415,0.0,0.0,0.19017229408808906,0.0,0.0,0.19506435747612852,0.06264984221523759,0.0,0.0,0.06751736052604035,0.05058741294680425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416723008427454,0.12176678871242033,0.0,0.0,0.07387397843482607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601421785959286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045325472288658,0.0,0.050280326567961685,0.0,0.0,0.05695477832676131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869496955840014,0.04611592730789138,0.0643299402962286,0.06455398473404493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04079211453911353
mentalhealth,eddiekimx,2019/01/23,"Ending Up In the ER Confused Because of Mental Health Hi, all -- my name's Eddie Kim and I'm a writer with MEL Magazine in Los Angeles. I've covered [mental health](https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/why-millennial-men-dont-go-to-therapy) [issues](https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/the-stigma-of-ptsd-is-keeping-veterans-unemployed) [extensively](https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/going-crazy-on-the-high-seas) and am looking for some help on a story I'm working on. 

​

The story is about people who end up in the emergency room thinking they're having a physical emergency when they're actually having a mental health issue (like a panic/anxiety attack, psychosis, etc.) I've spoken to some ER directors and senior doctors who say this is a frequent occurrence, especially with men. The underlying issue seems to be the lack of access to preventative mental health measures, as well as the ways we downplay mental health symptoms in American health culture. 

I'm reaching out here for stories about how you ended up in the ER because of an unexpected mental health emergency, perhaps one you had no clue was related to mental health (this is different than going to the ER because you self-harmed, for example). Did you think you were having a heart attack? Or that you were going blind? Or just felt internal pain? 

​

Ideally, I'd love to connect with you for a short phone call/voice chat. I can provide anonymity if that makes you more comfortable.  I'm at [edward.kim@melindustries.com](mailto:edward.kim@melindustries.com) if you'd like to reach out there. Or feel free to share below. Thanks in advance!",7.429245159172957,10.01739858844766,6.956555628487037,67.61335001640961,64.92057761732852,9.224089268132591,32.08549392845422,9.688023934748609,3.5414996389891717,1327,54,190,29,22,414,162,277,0.103,0.782,0.115,0.4981,3,0,0,0,0,0,104.0,1,9,0,3,8,13,2,1,17,0,15,13,1,2,1,30,30,12,0,4,6,0,2,2,0,0,11,1,1,1,6,9,0,1,5,1,1,3,1,4,5,1,6,5,12,10,39,22,6,28,1,0,2,1,22,18,0,9,8,110,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.06848036157204641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206846561979992,0.17053982621306193,0.0,0.0,0.053683435545388916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15966765082367165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833349460748553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165619083840324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733176011597587,0.0,0.07182675508642622,0.0,0.0,0.08224419837660213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646180363985304,0.0,0.07826331428043498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035482425017223124,0.0,0.0673786944236145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964565771460488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.596739197934693,0.0,0.08315732968440644,0.04703660652636973,0.07414339871666165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648826089663847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856760468313927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892905442524075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633353854608451,0.0,0.04684214156579796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4950369814804125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047552177019372026,0.0,0.07467080361686533,0.08233486304653061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04865028495941149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203044168348224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055805719461429766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388439002738977,0.07320749225335002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293835842232382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460741397572797,0.08025085851007932,0.0,0.0,0.08993019851046431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532344868174381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570139194653676,0.0,0.0,0.06309546193020392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0510880003629815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053982621306193,0.0
mentalhealth,SleepDelay,2019/01/23,I induce vomiting sometimes after eating. I know I'm not supposed to but I feel genuinely unmotivated to do anything else. I don't have difficulty with anything else but I'm mildly overweight and I eat absentmindedly sometimes and I don't want to gain any more weight. I've been inducing vomiting intermittently over the years but I recently started doing it again. I want to talk to someone but I don't want my family or friends to worry too much. ,2.658930481283424,5.619025823529416,4.915401069518719,73.58475935828879,84.88235294117645,7.7967914438502675,28.903743315508017,8.575989854853784,3.093352941176472,365,18,61,10,11,126,53,85,0.209,0.713,0.078,-0.8465,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,7,6,0,2,0,16,15,7,0,3,6,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,10,1,9,14,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454310124664526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32562331018019663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40489482082310496,0.3305524392200984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865130382667042,0.0,0.10003765311893724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285650676705956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087318253910534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454406952499598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535056209437404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763556560136722,0.0,0.3913525216653672,0.0,0.1400374962669899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590223459872898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500867882837803,0.0,0.0,0.2409249845972845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092376503534431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740731919243212
mentalhealth,bipolarparanoia,2019/01/23,"Is this a normal reaction to starting an SSRI? I just started a low dose of paxil. Basically I feel no different emotionally, but I feel like energetically depressed if that makes sense? It might just be in my head, but idk I feel kinda jittery. Getting out of bed this morning was definitely a little easier. Anyone else get this?",3.234192037470727,6.1547673606557405,5.798735362997661,69.00967213114757,80.31147540983606,8.075878220140515,28.386416861826696,8.841846274778883,3.10252037470726,263,12,42,7,7,93,49,61,0.132,0.662,0.206,0.7964,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,4,2,1,1,0,13,12,3,0,2,5,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,5,1,5,9,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,3,3,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442531171611786,0.2555969701906342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148559349883621,0.0,0.0,0.2606282412753596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20838833080898572,0.2806042252607299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3783970785516949,0.17821128993555418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26066074342202344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560136426068382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218715147137086,0.25002026923954823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651369904019814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646332072351413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24441374224676804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35313223120179904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,edwardmuch,2019/01/23,Anybody take Reboxetine (Edronax) for negative symptoms of schizophrenia/depression? I don't think it is working?,8.863529411764707,13.230456823529416,7.854411764705888,53.88985294117651,69.0,10.458823529411768,55.55882352941178,10.125756701596842,8.33325882352941,94,8,9,3,2,29,17,17,0.238,0.762,0.0,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4721274389497534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5697457544329775,0.4121463845692348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512373318026993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990653469432959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Badsecks,2019/01/23,"I need some help with what exactly I can do from this point Background: Had a psychotic break about 3 5 years ago. Have lived with depression and intermittent bouts of awful anxiety.

After my worst episode years back I did what I had to do to get my life together. I moved to a state with a good support system, ate much better, exercised, practiced mindfulness and other cognitive behavioral therapy techniques.

It helps tremendously to the point where I thought I'd never have to deal with a serious episode again. I knew how to tackle it if it ever came back.

I've been employed for over a year in an extremely stressful environment where I've done pretty damn well. I thought I was a success story.

I can't stop throwing up from an anxious belly. I'm starting to think bad bad things again. I'm hearing things again. I'm using ghe same tools I've used before and it's helped... but just enough to not absolutely freak out.

I actually kicked a hole in the wall the other day. I'm NOT a violent or aggressive person in any way - but the internal pressure within me is resulting in very poor impulse control 

I deleted all social network besides this and am basically shutting myself in right now.

I had a meltdown/panic attack at work the other day and haven't been back since. I'm afraid for my job. My livelihood. I only have enough $ to get me by for a little if that goes south. I can't control how they handle my employment. 

I'm pretty calm right now but am absolutely freaking out at the same time.

I can't get in to see any professional for another month. I've called around everywhere even asking if they have cancellations and to please call me of they do.

I'm fucking lost. I don't really know why I'm writing this I just need to I guess.",3.4150340136054425,5.4907821311953375,4.6596705539358645,82.01908794946551,74.6268221574344,7.955257531584063,27.759863945578232,8.745826893841286,2.2733588726919334,1393,56,264,29,30,459,193,343,0.115,0.7709999999999999,0.114,-0.2621,3,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,3,6,19,22,5,3,18,1,24,4,0,7,4,50,54,15,0,5,11,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,15,14,1,3,5,1,1,3,8,16,1,0,14,2,31,6,41,40,8,52,0,2,1,1,14,24,2,6,21,170,46,6,0.0,0.0,0.0988935696403044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983211170848558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782983536229176,0.10626420005346708,0.07752509551301519,0.11448575771227253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021440288755447,0.09473955359424767,0.1152892857423235,0.0,0.2337734368612816,0.1692299297498256,0.0,0.0,0.08623317950206323,0.0,0.0,0.08962731018553644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20695966949243466,0.11590637071304538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22732365442254085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071229281673438,0.10447745794219064,0.08728430075079978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370636954887202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942335696137354,0.0,0.06693434985245668,0.09166815450166653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368752681447563,0.15883846115775654,0.0,0.0,0.08499948315933313,0.0,0.0,0.1116378281441959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142179472205994,0.0,0.2037789148469359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056466697488624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05569400977615722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157969094447886,0.0,0.10156966050429428,0.0894853916285906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106249705483062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023248714027961,0.0,0.080888905893603,0.10770876133672062,0.07449682256294449,0.1502851808635213,0.07815993054027986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707390785988036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848649061151426,0.0,0.11124127974484914,0.19159878640425715,0.0,0.0,0.20619915060814747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492122748545813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730882218557859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075514372871813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382979030434562,0.0,0.0,0.10330373158794487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172922608511685,0.0,0.0,0.0847250759419571,0.1160850362338815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499983587270073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589152981342216,0.0,0.1346520599937897,0.06493480864440503,0.0,0.16090584682213815,0.05909237696325614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750510611182454,0.0,0.08361640751793438,0.0,0.08043925816208437,0.0,0.0,0.09111715118234497,0.0,0.09144390945914242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377698665280909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957796014682143
mentalhealth,LalaL3mons,2019/01/23,"Taking Adrenal supplement with antidepressants? Is it safe/OK to take a adrenal supplement along with an antidepressant. My therapist recommend it to me but I was curious if any of you guys take supplements with your antidepressants without issues.

​

​",8.114285714285714,12.316099000000001,6.790761904761907,61.33757142857144,70.90476190476191,11.931428571428572,41.73333333333333,10.793553405168565,6.819241904761905,226,14,28,9,5,68,33,42,0.0,0.887,0.113,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,5,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,8,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4217097624248817,0.4729337493027674,0.1323383525951166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926899524342673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20311748872118585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4389571497631751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259518810594299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18759267142611935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4729337493027674,0.0
mentalhealth,Meb112,2019/01/23,"Having trouble finding the right resources for a mental tic I've been experiencing. I work on computers for a living and I used to have my keyboard under my desk on an attached drawer. For whatever reason I started at one point to press my left thumbnail into the under side of my desk randomly while typing, then I started doing it with my left pointer finger. 

About 4 months ago I changed desks and the keyboard was now on top. This left me with an insatiable urge to press those nails against something, but now there is nothing there. So now I've begun pressing them with my other fingers, which gets rid of the urge for about 2 seconds until I feel it again. It has started to effect my efficiency and I'm beginning to feel the urges in my right hand now.

Now I know this isn't exactly debilitating, but it's fairly annoying as I feel it all the time. I have tried looking up some information but I mostly only find things about obsessive nail biting and ""tics"" in general. I figured I could come here and see if anyone can steer me in the right direction.",6.5490325203252056,6.732398858536588,7.016890243902441,75.18224593495937,65.29268292682927,9.565040650406504,33.66869918699187,9.2995712137729,3.013382113821137,846,34,153,14,12,277,127,205,0.04,0.914,0.046,0.29600000000000004,0,0,1,1,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,13,3,1,1,11,0,11,3,3,3,2,32,25,14,0,2,4,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,10,0,0,10,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,2,12,23,0,31,22,3,38,0,0,2,0,2,20,0,4,17,113,34,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13600511374814309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072807792001394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230701608119494,0.13216507294126584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250017792312895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327341888323597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28046175086808794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016006216664902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432029472130233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5001015640164272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354801822619736,0.0,0.12884130358113194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461984787564678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246517016902245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721879006547992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039671268282294,0.11668929301710665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503953120616492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15775005825906818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39308131893335496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226265529873415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811676021375495,0.0,0.0,0.325792459975682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019310822576782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894653960336172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041678846648192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251296794836015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169778012423942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,miaxxe23,2019/01/23,"Hello everyone, i need some opinion on what might be going on I am 25 years old this year. I don't have a job, but I have been self employed and doing art commissions for 2 years and the pay has been decent.

However I can't seem to grow up and do adult things. For example, any thing about sex, relationship, attraction and seduction feels like I'm being 'a naughty child', as though I'm always too young to be exposed to such material, despite the fact that I'm 25.

I like to play with children's toys such as Lego, especially stuff like princess castles or plush toys. I talk to my pillows for emotional support like teddy bears.

I tried to purchase a dildo (it is quite realistic) just to see how things would pan out and I found myself holding on to it for comfort when I feel sad or depressed at night, like a symbol of strength and warmth.

Everytime I think of myself being in a relationship, this voice comes up to say 'who do you think you are, you're too young to talk about stuff like this'. But yet my domestic helper is always teasing me about why I'm so old and still hasn't been in a relationship.

Is something wrong with me?",6.659941002949848,5.939457663716817,6.844380530973452,79.53598082595872,65.28318584070797,10.188200589970501,32.992625368731574,9.516144504307137,2.7323846607669613,896,32,184,15,12,289,135,226,0.071,0.738,0.191,0.9841,3,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,2,14,16,1,0,8,0,23,1,0,1,1,30,38,17,0,2,5,0,2,6,0,2,0,2,1,4,13,11,0,1,6,4,2,3,3,4,0,0,4,5,19,12,32,28,1,23,0,2,1,1,16,9,0,6,17,118,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671409994702467,0.0,0.0,0.08447063875537017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700045080064133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698642450461823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397254526069297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869300747617395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125613939031385,0.08873940911892211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619562510512542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059439683278505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232644823707562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36411182057096736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131772765080057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210404401659077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165676102944634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606860477356993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211822277334986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000821204516174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878096323219143,0.0,0.0,0.09898348286662458,0.11308091076163125,0.12958361025337514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562697851042393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991984699481348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843935171088719,0.0,0.14095800908991585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967904734556255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475693050239319,0.15918425061548802,0.12204086578924073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433401026486137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208495493008852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882389593352111,0.13580989108289326,0.0,0.2399716715589479
mentalhealth,cheshirekat84,2019/01/23,"How do you encourage/praise yourself for getting things accomplished on a ""good"" day? I (34F) have had issues with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. I recently went back on antidepressents, but I still have ""good"" days and ""bad"" days.

What methods do you use to reward yourself/encourage yourself after a good day? Is that a thing? As in, I've had two very productive days in a row, as opposed to sitting on the couch in the dark watching the Gilmore Girls. Charts? A journal? Looking for some ideas to keep me motivated. TIA",3.0387545454545446,5.816364930000002,3.5314545454545474,85.9357272727273,79.7,7.236363636363637,29.09090909090909,8.296473431620573,2.4299,423,20,78,9,11,132,69,100,0.035,0.7659999999999999,0.2,0.9668,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,3,3,6,0,0,8,0,7,1,0,3,0,12,12,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,3,2,7,4,17,9,2,17,0,1,2,0,4,6,0,2,9,52,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830550297396316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901800680625426,0.1509538969117987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5829799138997309,0.0,0.15571601733845475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094456438553482,0.0,0.0,0.4549196434942099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20409233578981897,0.0,0.18870003751865824,0.0,0.1606963733889905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276988450421833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181987570769442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785104411649029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438084773760393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24022054743286106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660766434825173,0.0,0.0,0.15614637359602054,0.0,0.14917246115101246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759613805386606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hell00-----,2019/01/23,"Less Motivated I feel less motivated to get up even though I have enough sleep and afraid to connect with people and not happy anymore, why?",12.040384615384614,8.615960730769231,10.888461538461538,63.30653846153848,57.07692307692307,13.476923076923079,41.384615384615394,11.20814326018867,4.440661538461539,113,4,20,2,1,36,21,26,0.102,0.7140000000000001,0.184,0.3434,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,7,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,15,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36430093414618575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795587088897523,0.0,0.24262351419626305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857373058725266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919191253348526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3910385017407724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546661580741915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.367603635047738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3609080615230229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314657229617915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nemarar26,2019/01/23,I'm sorry I'm sorry for everything,-0.3562499999999993,1.8152458750000025,5.230000000000004,71.81500000000003,90.25,8.200000000000001,20.5,8.841846274778883,2.45885,29,1,5,1,1,12,5,8,0.394,0.606,0.0,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725342317214065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.92801845143065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,McNippy,2019/01/23,"Derealisation It's been just under 2 weeks since I had a horrendously bad LSD trip. I have been having feelings of derealisation that are slowly seeping into my thoughts more often. Although with the drug wearing off and a good night's sleep the trip wore off well I still feel that one of my egodeaths (yes, I had multiple in one trip, it was a nightmare {I have had good egodeaths but these weren't those}) was a real death in the physical since or at least a passing from one reality to another. I am worried that in some sense I am living in a dream right now and my physical body is lying lifeless in a hospital bed. Is there any treatments for this? I had a similar feeling after the acid trip before this one too which was also bad :( I definitely shouldn't have kept using psychedelics and definitely shouldn't have  upped those dose last time. Simply put my life is continuing but I feel it's possible it is all imaginary, is there any way I can solve this?",5.106051007815715,6.290591336898395,5.858502673796793,78.68060468942822,68.78609625668449,8.962402303578775,29.892636774989718,9.265573868473778,2.488129082682024,768,29,149,15,13,251,112,187,0.134,0.767,0.098,-0.8981,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,12,1,26,6,3,1,1,22,34,8,1,2,4,0,4,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,14,5,0,1,5,1,0,6,3,2,1,4,13,5,15,3,18,19,4,27,0,0,0,0,0,12,0,3,8,109,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602294490092833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143302807584102,0.1652445986905572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631585408243868,0.0,0.0,0.13409565153136727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504457319935746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18275187254533076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187246032048617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26435441995519937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284551288760922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113089572834798,0.0,0.0,0.13915295669561056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788551980827155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42714241613052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776566203150516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841931303200935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17936947109601456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457916092263605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607165922330433,0.0,0.1577016557966903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584985876785962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510714837033668,0.0918907413037623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610530324552556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508589842366274,0.12640746590275193,0.0,0.14169040065589025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16003810887381328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bluefox2003,2019/01/23,is my mother required to come into the physiologist office with me im 16 and have to too see a physiologist for my bipolor and anixity. the problem is that alot of my issues steam from her content yelling and put downs. because she is in there she never lets me speak for myself and she talks about what she thinks my issues are and i cant ever talk about my issues in front of her because its about her and she will deny it and make me look crazy. i tried asking her why she comes in there with me and she says she has too because it deals with my meds is this true is she required to come in with me?,2.6259523809523806,4.017104134920636,3.7462222222222223,90.64600000000004,75.1111111111111,5.992380952380952,22.123809523809523,6.2581,0.20267238095238133,475,12,105,3,10,154,70,126,0.059,0.916,0.025,-0.5023,0,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,8,2,0,0,4,0,11,0,0,1,3,25,19,8,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,6,16,0,2,1,0,0,5,2,1,0,0,0,5,27,1,21,17,1,13,0,0,2,0,20,6,0,1,2,83,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748743668097875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30807510807293137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4353403337490104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367494798138258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238178912656328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196579697568355,0.5274856764227238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17226184785746965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146404152881814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124484131706098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712117503021147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992680084466227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611935479040371,0.0,0.16934891188124704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396621908217604,0.0,0.0,0.1342408751376261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708036662887923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794241873436622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437333799493725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200902215019785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nogoodiegoodlol,2019/01/23,"School’s therapist vs Independent Therapist I’m not doing too well mentally. I’m a university student and my school offers free mental health services. Therapist and there’s a psychiatrist that can assist with prescribing medicine. 

I’ve gone to the school’s therapist before, it was okay. But the person I used to go to is no longer there. I’ve been thinking about going to a therapist outside of my school. But then I’d probably have a copay or some fee for every time I go. 

Would a therapist outside of my school be more qualified/have more experience? I’m sure the school’s therapists have more experience with college kids but I wouldn’t say that I’m a typical college kid. 

Any advice would be appreciated, thank you. ",3.7217016806722683,6.488686926470593,5.204453781512608,75.05147058823533,76.79411764705883,9.17983193277311,28.831932773109244,9.606745405546679,3.361360924369748,586,26,101,18,14,196,80,136,0.024,0.8690000000000001,0.106,0.8772,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,9,1,12,1,0,2,1,18,23,7,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,3,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,4,3,0,1,0,3,1,7,6,10,15,4,6,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,58,10,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694298360368251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050441107673776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570911954342187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496324303950955,0.0,0.0,0.17406452781114454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169551699691525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457370086818652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793268849574612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776874323128109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959274985624498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075457335258596,0.0,0.540270056568164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385561157071349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191400550665733,0.0,0.7231282284362112,0.0,0.0570100420577773,0.0,0.0,0.05188063176435545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684374963865849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999704210320976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640714802838507,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,y0ung_warth0g,2019/01/23,"I let my body deteriorate because I didn't plan on being here in 2019 Hi. I'm Allie, I have bipolar II disorder and toward the end of 2017, I planned on killing myself. I had it all figured out but the day came and I flushed all the pills instead of taking them. Whatever, I wasn't strong enough to do it but neurotypicals will say I'm stronger to have not done it. Whatever. I'd have to suffer through life.

​

My hygienic habits became so bad by the time I had my ""revelation"" (inability to go through with something) that I no longer brushed my teeth daily, I didn't shower daily, I didn't exercise, I didn't take my contacts out for months at a time. I didn't care. My body was only a temporary vessel that I was going to get fricking rid of. I didn't want to have to maintain it.

​

And it's something I still haven't corrected. I lost the weight, I shower regularly and wear deodorant finally. I still don't brush my teeth regularly (at all). And I still generally overwear my contacts. I'm disgusting. My gums have receded and I can feel my vision getting worse and worse. I know that the things I neglected can't be reversed but I can only maintain them moving forward. I have to live with loose yellowed teeth for as long as my ""will"" keeps me alive. I'll likely have to undergo surgery for cataracts or something down the line with my eyes. I'm only 24.

​

Some people live to their 80s... some later... I could have 60 years left in this disgusting body. I really messed it up. I reeeeeallly messed it up.

​

Idk what to do with this, I don't even know how to build these habits. I can't do routine or self care or whatever. I'm. So. Awful.",1.9557998289136016,4.336467017964072,3.4646484174508143,87.21965868263473,80.91616766467067,6.691394354148843,25.710521813515825,7.859703344183488,1.6036794867408035,1320,54,266,24,35,434,165,334,0.201,0.764,0.035,-0.9957,3,0,3,0,0,1,66.0,0,0,3,4,9,13,3,0,9,1,36,13,8,1,4,37,56,18,1,2,7,0,2,1,0,2,4,1,2,1,15,14,1,2,4,1,0,5,14,9,0,0,14,7,47,4,39,36,6,30,0,3,2,0,8,14,0,5,14,176,62,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721676252955653,0.4173738577642996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169924815233526,0.05234656611117317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28615216330559523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821430108109784,0.17510375817996365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856153203092777,0.0,0.0,0.05538011587597085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841636044101346,0.0,0.0,0.08787652085248264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605680154892963,0.08872837837766746,0.0,0.0567174206959861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04341929079301662,0.0,0.0,0.09406820473156607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972879489674936,0.0,0.09760568510392678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632667581632338,0.09500426740606248,0.0,0.09438563576649828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329980843387163,0.08780958900291158,0.06065369206596795,0.04195255489545493,0.0,0.15165249574639933,0.07599371572536961,0.0,0.0,0.09373905936040204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854193871036944,0.09126798337242877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19592779789787085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595325958919232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05501158343226066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828858963369001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958286793624788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832459452915865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573165268661328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291296009641787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704931437358711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014490949829652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506493291588066,0.0,0.0,0.10456854633620258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502111287125954,0.0,0.0,0.4173738577642996,0.055298532789427236
mentalhealth,jwolfe22,2019/01/23,"Not depressed but something feels off Between now and last winter when i was very depressed i can see a major difference. last year i was searching ways to kill myself and couldnt get out of bed until 1 pm everyday. 

now, i have (decent) energy tho i still constantly feel tired. i get out of bed and to school usually on time. i enjoy hanging out with friends and playing video games most of the time. am planning on getting a job soon.

the only major issue i struggle with that i can identify is my gender dysphoria. 

but something still feels off, like my life is empty or i have no direction or meaning. it feels like life isnt as good as it use to be. i dont really participate in many groups/activities anymore. i dont wanna kill myself, i wanna finish school and go to college and get a job but i just feel bleh.

i wonder if im still depressed and ive convinced myself that im fine. should i try going back on ssris?",2.095537634408604,4.254684897849465,3.983010752688173,84.91118279569892,79.05376344086021,6.498924731182799,24.31182795698925,7.594959193182576,1.3488086021505383,725,26,140,11,18,245,108,186,0.138,0.691,0.17,0.542,2,0,2,0,0,2,19.0,0,0,0,1,10,14,2,1,5,0,16,3,0,1,0,33,31,18,2,5,8,0,5,2,1,1,3,0,2,0,4,12,0,0,7,3,0,3,6,6,0,0,2,6,22,8,24,26,3,32,0,3,1,0,2,9,0,5,21,96,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321056238753376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777774293162449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336043053258397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949632393878417,0.0,0.0,0.1192671271049601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675763829221289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885996559884784,0.16310395576683892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819546219487036,0.0,0.23856400108338535,0.0,0.1297532346983595,0.0957473554171366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466128383705817,0.1191476109104702,0.2265613990428869,0.0,0.2525900206111785,0.0,0.0,0.18610226198204152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126135959350887,0.11154021808770187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157347177489194,0.0,0.12434768596129532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681962024891797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313027810433692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310608409469691,0.09096633486419642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576337985503693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734917273261737,0.0,0.0,0.11933904013359148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312878171125786,0.1312037732092011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775033934553607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859281222697164,0.1257250237134477,0.09418939494392338,0.0,0.09061050672859554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379565580145388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351173751674035
mentalhealth,Xilumi,2019/01/23,"Musical hallucinations for 3 years straight, I feel defeated Hi everyone, 

I'm 24 and I have been experiencing musical hallucinations for 3 years now. It is not the case of having songs stucked in your head. I hear songs constantly. I faced severe depression and thought of killing myself 3 times because of domestic violence, misunderstandings within my family and other factors in social life. In 2016, I had chronic pharyngitis due to acid reflux. Without knowing clearly, I was in great depression for the feeling of having something stuck in my throat and making me hard to breath sometimes. I would have a non-stop anxiety vibe running through my veins. In addition, I suffered terrible headaches while taking antibiotics for the stomach problems as a side effect. Again, without knowing, I went to a hospital and asked for painkiller. The painkiller I took led me to racing thoughts. The first time ever I experienced something like that, and I could not make it stop, even if I shouted out ""Stop!"". After 6 days of taking the painkiller, I did not think it was a side effect from it at all and went to the hospital stating outright this racing thoughts symptom I had. The doctor asked me a bunch of question and diagnosed me with repeated depression disorder. She gave me Sertraline to drink. That is the first SSRI I have encountered. The racing thoughts disappeared within 48 hours. And this SSRI gave me panic attack as well as insomnia. I could not sleep for the next 48 hours. In my panic mode, I went to the hospital again to confront the doctor and got prescribed Paroxetine and Xanax. Boom, I started to hear songs, LOUDLY. 

I postponed my thesis which I was supposed to do in my 4th year in university. The doctor told me simply put on music to not hear the music in my head. She told me it might be a side effect that would go away soon. It did not. It stayed with me ever since. I went to many different places for treatment later but I was never in good hands. I was diagnosed in early 2018 again with bipolar disorder, and stayed on antipsychotics for more than 8 months. Nothing changes. Fast forward, that idiotic doctor ditched me and left me with withdrawal effects. I had severe headaches along with my musical hallucinations. I finally found a place near my place to treat this. The doctor this time did not tell me the meds' names. Or he thought I could not look them up online. It was SSRI again... However, I have been feeling a bit better for the last 3 months. Maybe I got used to the condition. I still hate it and hate it more when someone says something like ""I wish I were like you. People buy Ipods to listen to music. You are a radiohead on your own! How awesome!"". I can sleep better now. But it seems to be incurable. I could not focus on work. By the way, I managed to graduate in November 2018 (finally!). But since then I have switched 2-3 jobs already. My family is pushing me, putting pressure on my incurable disorder. My mom is a believer. She said that I must have done something bad in the past lives to deserve this. And my dad cannot tolerate with me being unemployed and unable to pay the meds by myself. I am tired. I wish to kill myself again every day. Please give me some advices. Sincerely.       ",3.8151359610650535,6.463249914858098,4.503381341784333,80.85838318100792,75.72787979966611,7.800582892391273,29.18426190543561,8.694712214485833,2.654258006281656,2565,114,448,56,59,819,285,599,0.14300000000000002,0.785,0.07200000000000001,-0.991,5,0,5,0,1,2,85.0,0,4,1,10,16,28,7,3,32,0,44,25,10,9,6,84,91,28,2,11,16,2,5,3,0,4,14,12,0,0,23,25,1,2,18,5,2,13,13,18,1,2,36,21,78,10,80,44,7,95,0,5,1,0,29,35,0,6,48,313,101,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057985510612671286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548220499867664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04539427167307477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109481518361006,0.06750682631668818,0.055751065519316606,0.0,0.04954569456150653,0.036172582596368866,0.0,0.0,0.06685487882938729,0.0,0.1049612758543751,0.06478296074833104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277293095628411,0.0,0.0,0.06412451841132219,0.0,0.18950986584718632,0.0,0.0,0.07653765908791675,0.0,0.1533261159443904,0.12045593479073205,0.0,0.061996760670249236,0.20402335003174385,0.30368056744727995,0.0,0.06072453161620992,0.0,0.0581297562980849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039192935414738665,0.10735127978060843,0.049995775905758405,0.056701081189650275,0.0,0.0,0.11187930054957128,0.0,0.09001094049706437,0.0,0.0,0.13000623185551874,0.0,0.1009476665317644,0.0,0.06506229272445611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692350008645537,0.03372379478339228,0.04977084652488994,0.0949178452375888,0.06542159979374497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531562046671504,0.11717021078837687,0.12179813247671595,0.0,0.20063853485491115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687417926178174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888492988188423,0.0,0.13129991000574118,0.0,0.06522246747615608,0.04836931045609474,0.0,0.0,0.06447213785966477,0.0,0.0419129820544742,0.08697030406129913,0.0,0.052397538519352985,0.0,0.04982992386459807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921865947601793,0.06016056370003903,0.05961413133525172,0.0,0.13182479172009365,0.0,0.0,0.0629494391477852,0.0,0.06949727133192203,0.09472785412706893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576599483580726,0.0,0.06310783744424321,0.0,0.0,0.056937495170418385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924336635048484,0.0,0.0,0.05664591350004936,0.0411382809237834,0.0,0.1859902820107477,0.06513654501915997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05677953303692604,0.0,0.11930442951293738,0.0664734054727757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05644510070816281,0.04718885750152274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402011490341534,0.0,0.13407265231724155,0.0,0.09817188228380813,0.0,0.11876396708189355,0.06048876980433119,0.050277851889083784,0.18272864384294632,0.058687916404030385,0.0,0.04200054129905007,0.1264952335158251,0.04738830549514344,0.1488305079554042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616760761298829,0.08923128112344142,0.0,0.0518650146883279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0380221181945965,0.0,0.23554320301366286,0.10380337086695188,0.068201600257597,0.0,0.11340216237930055,0.06592795627896042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05124995572387003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04710063901278563,0.0,0.0,0.05335300379157345,0.22003187027511328,0.0,0.0,0.13647414097121932,0.11440160669272036,0.0,0.043199593024379784,0.0,0.0,0.084305630192417,0.0,0.0,0.11463736172504813
mentalhealth,DANKKrish,2019/01/23,"What is wrong with me I was bullied quite harshly in my childhood (from around 4 years old to when I was 13)  Every time i see something that reminds me of my childhood I get really  disturbed, violent and shaky. The only way I can calm myself without making a hassle is inflicting pain to myself like hitting walls, biting myself, running hot water on my hand till I can physically endure it. what the fuck is wrong with me?",4.799629629629628,6.325447913580248,5.69969135802469,78.24361111111115,69.8641975308642,7.375308641975309,29.549382716049386,7.793537801064563,2.1182493827160487,335,13,57,4,6,110,60,81,0.271,0.645,0.083,-0.9588,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,9,2,2,3,0,7,4,1,1,0,7,12,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,7,0,0,2,3,15,2,11,9,0,13,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,1,8,42,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22261596610626336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106953739091276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23118635856745426,0.1306516341577214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217192620250535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692415285585174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26240716274506004,0.0,0.0,0.1901900573592269,0.2660928860244902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659810011775084,0.0,0.0,0.1602017118651633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992739935509656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925166638626116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458182525864232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19849450415299386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410592581197589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5468261688927716,0.0,0.16103735002295785
mentalhealth,pony-boi,2019/01/23,"Going to a New Counselor in a few hours I've had this problem for years and while some aspects of it are loosening up, others are tightening (like a knot). 

I'm nervous to try again. I've had some really bad therapists before. But I know I need help.",2.9538235294117685,4.360408254901961,4.653088235294117,84.41139705882355,74.29411764705883,8.237254901960785,26.47549019607843,8.841846274778883,1.9899372549019598,195,7,40,4,4,66,40,51,0.17800000000000002,0.769,0.053,-0.7444,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,8,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,6,6,3,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,6,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824876896618066,0.0,0.0,0.2878901112319915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922781981219984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267724743568309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33318250125442045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593486592976546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528876680335433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508640971210155,0.0,0.3267569097159544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237318449086597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167400008909422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39282202230056185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297008298341166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21787055195032992
mentalhealth,reeses_,2019/01/23,"I have energy but I don’t do anything I have all this energy to do my schoolwork and be productive but every time I try to get started I just.... can’t. I have no clue as to why. But then when I change to something else, like reading a book or watching YouTube, I can’t pay attention to the content and just end up sitting there. My brain isn’t switching from one thing to another for stimulus, it’s just like it doesn’t want to do anything. So I just sit there, thinking about all the work I could get done if I’d actually work but I just can’t start. 

It sounds so lazy when I write it out like this but it’s a real problem that I just can’t solve or talk to anyone about. 

I don’t want to sleep, but I don’t want to be awake, or go to school, or eat, or watch tv, or do anything in general. 

But to add, I can’t stop re thinking about everything I or someone else does. If I offer someone a book they need or a ride somewhere and they accept, do they really want it or are they feeling pressured by me to do so, in which case makes me feel awful. I then have to ask so many questions to ensure I’m not forcing them to do anything at which point they just get pissed at me for not just giving it to them. Then I know I’ve messed up and it consumes me for the rest of the day. 

If I have such a negative effect on everyone, why do I try to make friends or be involved in the first place because it seems that every time I try to make a relationship with anyone it turns to shit. Maybe I should just let go of the few people I have in the first place? I’m obviously just causing more issues than I am solutions. 

My few friends are starting to get worried about me but what can I tell them? That I’m being a lazy pos?

I have a boyfriend, our relationship is great, but that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t understand why he likes/loves me because I haven’t added anything positive or negative to his life and honestly everywhere I go I seem to find someone that has a fiery hate towards me when I don’t know what I’ve done. He’s so sweet and honestly amazing but I can’t understand why he sticks around with me. He’s said that this is more than a short thing (when I asked him) and he is even making ideas 5-7 months in the future (like “oo do you want to see this movie that comes out in may”) when there’s no guarantee we will still be together. 

I am terrified that he will begin to resent me just like everyone else. How does he know his feelings won’t change like he’s said? Wouldn’t he just be better without me? How does he know he has feelings for me in general? Why, even?

I want to be “normal” and believe in “love” and that it’s possible for someone to have those feelings for me but I don’t even like myself that much so how can someone else?

I’m not sure how coherent this post is or if I’ve gotten my point across. Re-reading it it just sounds like I’m lazy and complaining for no reason but these things are slowly overtaking any functionality and I don’t know what to do and I have no one that I can talk to without fear of ruining the relationship. 

I also don’t like to talk about any of this head stuff because there’s always someone out there having more issues than me so I don’t really have a place to say anything about my trivial issues. But today I’m letting go to see if I’m just being a lazy person and need to get over myself or that something is wrong. ",3.4639419475655444,4.0227590646067455,4.696404494382024,87.81147003745319,72.11797752808988,8.011985018726593,26.771535580524343,8.144726394080802,1.4310041198501873,2642,85,594,37,48,875,254,712,0.133,0.725,0.142,0.3542,1,0,2,0,0,0,57.0,2,1,8,7,48,31,4,2,21,1,73,8,5,12,4,128,134,65,0,18,50,0,5,9,2,6,1,5,0,1,42,22,1,1,23,4,1,6,31,11,0,4,5,15,78,20,80,112,9,58,0,1,4,1,47,26,2,22,32,404,120,7,0.0,0.0,0.05373966763625772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04403887856323157,0.045822047518650745,0.0,0.0,0.07489798952217172,0.0577449354217541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701143368281245,0.0,0.2719039220302575,0.04902332927018513,0.10296467486572207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070915498233768,0.0,0.0,0.06204421387770495,0.0,0.04870429774171592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147552234418815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05657131398086938,0.11651198004326087,0.047437303428847284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04396833430273738,0.0,0.0,0.0355151259960267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457447848401775,0.11270997399709487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056349615414314436,0.18401324854144133,0.0,0.04877503138336799,0.0,0.0,0.10911820842153228,0.0,0.0927964770138859,0.10524210259674824,0.049492712630454905,0.0,0.0,0.061968243477783326,0.13922339803564684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033231881931362,0.09368379275259288,0.0,0.0,0.0850927690543365,0.0,0.14385711395795386,0.052827465637094805,0.1251885500621913,0.0,0.0,0.060714069053708436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436950709911602,0.05651696266307976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062166507349389465,0.0,0.1724340439904787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132316416462832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262412755083655,0.03889705685469177,0.2421365908070285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04970216987974315,0.0,0.1837958402474372,0.05583160042416792,0.055324487598534304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04395576915661402,0.0,0.040482252779945035,0.08166633785832117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053956196256766314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463273060300754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03817810075925791,0.048084365981098165,0.1726070114598284,0.0,0.10411652788270633,0.06208233218291556,0.052741141988257495,0.0,0.0,0.052693857999645696,0.0,0.0,0.0616901901334296,0.0,0.11016835315886557,0.06268089006933111,0.07055757417385221,0.0566203854998764,0.0,0.17737137369337375,0.0,0.0,0.1047669807202295,0.04379329704479328,0.0,0.055733045348632416,0.08776616315265158,0.1002659976789136,0.0,0.0,0.05652781844742464,0.0,0.0,0.055109044422908315,0.0,0.2799601031851702,0.0847900352127423,0.0,0.0,0.11693494684155388,0.0,0.04397839339363658,0.046040378946153836,0.0,0.0,0.0630411435809099,0.0,0.0,0.05190213907571874,0.0,0.0,0.132787789487395,0.04813297279776727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975673610917833,0.07057233442511178,0.0,0.0,0.0642226731099331,0.0,0.052199232719888924,0.0,0.0,0.11216526671722507,0.05989955662821692,0.0,0.11465811282033432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488770778860826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484572717704576,0.0,0.0,0.10616963006858653,0.0,0.08018217476317559,0.05592552092576261,0.0,0.0,0.06020960625615696,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kamyles2711,2019/01/23,"Childrearing Practices Hello all, 

I'm conducting a research experiment to find a correlation between parenting styles and adolescent mental health. If you are a parent over the age of 30 and have a child 13 years or older you meet the participant criterion. The survey takes roughly 4-5 minutes to complete. Your participation would be greatly appreciated!

[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSciD-B-obXIPglqEaMK3p54xWcfEShelEUgO7n9osnoYAScrA/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSciD-B-obXIPglqEaMK3p54xWcfEShelEUgO7n9osnoYAScrA/viewform?usp=sf_link)",23.597214285714283,31.60805781666668,13.909523809523812,10.605000000000018,37.5,10.761904761904765,38.57142857142857,10.290406445055957,5.980142857142857,519,18,37,11,7,133,52,60,0.0,0.926,0.07400000000000001,0.6422,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,0,4,1,0,0,1,7,6,4,0,2,2,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,5,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,2,3,24,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29457133710655165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274823576762541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25678373964783163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097490055408607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29863732797374193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831321036711468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6239247401465756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21123987091619228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957923068164926,0.0,0.0,0.18092296175427486
mentalhealth,PawRyan,2019/01/23,"Difficulty breaking despondent thoughts positive feedback loop I'm sitting at my desk feeling like I'm approaching tears with my inability to control my negative and anxious thoughts. What do I mean?

I've recently started dating someone exclusively, but I can't help but assume the worse or analyze every possibly negative comment made against me. This has been hell on my friendships; it's starved a good deal of them. It's part of the reason I've re-entered therapy.

I'm furloughed and have time now to reflect how I'm not happy in my career.

I've got full-on anhedonia. My only real hobby is the gym, and that's sometimes only out of a sense of obligation.

I'm just, tired. I don't know how to explain it other than that. Physically, yes, but it goes beyond that. I'd go so far as to say I've thought of suicide, even if only passively, daily since last summer. Yes I've called hotlines, with disappointing results.

I've left my desk just to get off my feet and type this just cause my frustrations have me jittery. Suggestions, ideas, or just a sounding board. It's open-ended cause I don't know what else to ask.",3.980404505888377,5.941757764976963,5.261897081413213,78.80967101894524,72.7327188940092,8.32452636968766,32.33205325140809,8.998388855275968,3.023592114695341,893,44,162,19,18,297,135,217,0.242,0.677,0.081,-0.9912,0,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,1,1,10,6,2,0,6,2,9,2,1,8,0,38,28,14,1,1,11,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,13,7,0,1,12,1,0,2,6,3,0,0,6,3,16,3,22,22,1,19,1,1,0,0,9,8,1,4,8,89,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194087959091133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400974014305808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14637292702241705,0.0,0.0,0.29451293255727945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607754243175192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778407178910702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974770790116834,0.0,0.12696255856057004,0.0,0.0,0.09467909115118404,0.0,0.12077571057296713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724803585964676,0.1024068545923252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489269299155958,0.0,0.08146718806522217,0.12023234455231899,0.11464738767364885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259514343687333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608221835281526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182088675281456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575591079855148,0.1168466282285748,0.0,0.0,0.15574652300300548,0.0,0.0,0.07003191824012071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356380386445303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561464936305301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270646938557994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552304213771762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616017768066048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631598371204694,0.0,0.14738420060148652,0.14153749464501794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399498642877287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857780608768362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145712668671856,0.0,0.1417734734051257,0.0,0.10146147605357532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679793713495732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392935374799095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414036149961766,0.08358656739292898,0.16475585355153982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608245311208565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Splititasunlumo,2019/01/23,"Here again... seems I can never quite leave this hole. Depressed, anxious, went to some ""mental health center"" 2 weeks ago that put me in an infinite waiting list for a psych doc and set me up w/ a therapist. Now therapist dude's been a good one but... it's getting worse.
I tried the 2nd CSB in my area. It's a city/county split deal, so basically I have access to 2 of everything. This place is bigger and on the phone yesterday they said ""assessments are from 8:30 to 11 but you won't see a doctor the same day."" Idc because same day assessment = better than what I've had so far.
Well I showed up about 9. Was told it's a 3 hour wait 1 hour assessment. I tried not to cry and to not be a jerk, told the lady ""uh I kinda had somewhere to be"" and slunk back on the elevator.
I have work at 1:30 and I'm terrified of not being perfect, so even being less than 3 minutes early makes me feel awful. Perfectionism has set in heavily. My eating disorder has gotten bad again too. And it's showing. A coworker is super mad with me because he thinks I'm being mean to him, but I just need a whole lot more space than he's giving me right now. So work - the one place I feel decent - is becoming hell.

So now I'm at work 4 hours early debating whether to go in and ask if it's ok to show up whenever today, or if I can call out. Or what they think I should do. I called out in October of 2017 and I really hate to do it again so soon. I don't think they can find anyone on such short notice. I know company policy is to do it 3+ hours before start of shift, but still, I feel awful considering it. And too awful to work. I need to make a move ASAP but like... it's kinda my fault I didn't catch the warning signs and schedule months ago, right? Idk what to do. But I'm not ok. Just needed to get this somewhere other than in my head. Thanks.",0.9173411813875738,2.7300740902061875,3.1584926163276674,91.09533992755644,81.29381443298968,6.565728615213152,19.507105043187515,7.63319966405982,0.4900157982724998,1409,35,321,23,37,482,211,388,0.14,0.762,0.098,-0.9686,1,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,0,1,3,8,24,16,4,0,18,5,29,4,1,2,2,57,63,27,0,6,17,0,3,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,17,13,1,2,10,3,0,5,8,7,2,3,10,5,32,9,43,46,7,60,1,1,1,0,16,26,1,9,28,198,49,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16966176504480518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811198443708236,0.0,0.06691456612500417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946511206659437,0.0,0.0,0.07358618420545791,0.07990419025475183,0.11667374722935342,0.10569139534791322,0.08143231391032503,0.0,0.0,0.08463748292839009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543758991841212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512022977012628,0.12343513856329467,0.09866087741201388,0.08242491601521296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967868968655066,0.09795139639370762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792338322877453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320790929944033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600757663223542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516400220321954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874666296885581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999969578973325,0.09180265250349956,0.05438762214018797,0.08026730122690874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448238538064364,0.09821419637191027,0.101722954159338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3769746993458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05259335343083614,0.0,0.0,0.10133081774441743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04675341812395517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135938148184554,0.0,0.0,0.12775888792193896,0.0,0.0,0.10424364330942096,0.0,0.0,0.09644150715582804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638557240525984,0.10171228423572456,0.0,0.21287751584972164,0.07380852747999378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895329483665596,0.0,0.0,0.12969546334102713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999689782781917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962033524648858,0.0,0.10178705818608308,0.0,0.0,0.06130686362913194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634518696600199,0.09103111997622032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625925719036081,0.08712025488849669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773584006569253,0.0,0.07642488841151701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881062552344764,0.0,0.22222650228573304,0.0,0.18395906604991508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907109202484316,0.18288789849957784,0.0,0.12994590193089864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676350669427741,0.0,0.08604437990736186,0.08871340174041616,0.0,0.10684387754255682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786783820872876,0.0,0.09752487412246333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,norf_norf_,2019/01/23,"Help finding the right support. I've had a tough time with my mental health for a while now. Only at the end of 2017 did I open up about this to anyone for the first time. I actively tried finding support throughout most of last year due to the loss of a friend, and an extreme amount of support from my partner. 

I went to a few therapy sessions within my University, and was put on different SSRI's. The therapy was great, the medication not so much. I ended up dropping out of University and getting an apprenticeship in a field that I am passionate about and have made a massive improvement from this time last year.

That being said, I am still suffering from a lot of anxiety / depression on a day to day basis and really struggle to manage my emotions in a normal way. I snap way too quickly, and the smallest of things can ruin my day. This can really affect the relationships with the people around me who mean the most.

I am now stuck on what to do, I can go back to the doctors but will more than likely be prescribed another SSRI and be told the waiting time for therapy is 2 years (UK). I understand that my GP isn't going to be the miracle that changes my life around. That is down to me, but I don't know how.

Could anyone suggest any therapy, meetings, self care I can look into to try and better myself? I don't know the first place to look, especially whilst being in a full time job with limited funds. Any suggestions will be much appreciated.",5.5249824561403535,6.09750235789474,6.525350877192981,76.47995614035091,67.52631578947367,9.842105263157897,31.62280701754386,9.861636050157227,3.0163333333333338,1152,45,218,25,18,385,156,285,0.059,0.8170000000000001,0.125,0.9677,3,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,5,12,15,0,1,26,0,27,5,0,3,0,35,46,13,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,2,4,1,0,2,11,16,0,2,6,0,1,4,4,6,0,2,9,3,23,9,45,28,9,51,0,4,2,1,11,19,0,3,26,162,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725273325907424,0.09810945408770534,0.0715757968822255,0.0,0.0,0.13084350449002094,0.0,0.0,0.1665826461535105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194453152026427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274928404136153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953941912465528,0.0,0.0989777430109966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470281582412508,0.0,0.0,0.18102208953273471,0.0,0.08058607783975558,0.0,0.0,0.09775391003181913,0.0,0.09576617406366768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052463081378242,0.16573892297852247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103062931025076,0.15917007607146813,0.0,0.0,0.07228690323885156,0.0,0.04888305031069662,0.0,0.10634855000639523,0.0,0.0,0.10315405371565377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994535911988229,0.0,0.0,0.06271362032920003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284730485388028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028400701712304,0.15253342824716984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608664440889807,0.045710384363828765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15713949702181215,0.0,0.0,0.07954431458420011,0.0,0.08853201563805478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191804566088047,0.0,0.094255350576912,0.094289969324427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755982897799396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167233317930397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711592335022923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486512793267615,0.0,0.09775391003181913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405712768636416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198783067881235,0.0,0.0,0.10045214942081046,0.0,0.0799026904015579,0.08900028383274132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760710249910508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471990636045578,0.0,0.0,0.0978128515012884,0.0,0.0,0.3185241439347268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4279919189214433,0.0,0.062159410653487686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727880528763647,0.0,0.0,0.08940390319424832,0.0,0.12704690613245978,0.0,0.0,0.09740286982199747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853265166502533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673427215580297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807554172702618
mentalhealth,katriel_,2019/01/23,"How to respond to a friend asking ""Are you okay?"" when you're having suicidal thoughts? *Suicidal thoughts but not acting out on it.",1.9800000000000004,4.747337000000002,2.4833333333333343,87.94500000000002,95.66666666666666,5.7333333333333325,26.83333333333333,7.1686216300943375,1.9902833333333336,104,5,18,2,4,32,20,24,0.123,0.7929999999999999,0.083,-0.2523,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,5,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,4,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31554051760749224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26077114726070805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7383956149834292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5359146445821137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aleene12,2019/01/23,"Mimicking emotions I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression for about 7 years now and I use to hide my emotions from everyone one when I first got diagnosed and I only showed what people wanted, but now that I'm actually showing people my real emotions I find that when I'm alone by myself and watching movies or tv I mimic the emotions that are going on in whatever I'm watching and I'm just wondering if other people have the same situation and what they think about it.",7.86223404255319,7.4583922446808515,8.563276595744682,67.15300000000002,62.72340425531914,11.775319148936171,36.88510638297872,11.20814326018867,4.3765514893617015,397,17,66,10,5,134,61,94,0.107,0.893,0.0,-0.7469,1,1,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,1,7,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,18,14,11,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,2,10,0,9,12,1,9,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,3,6,49,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.14805045963629984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712939824685926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606038760453642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067058750321756,0.3079719525353975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6826289247758665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496872001518235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866336104268254,0.1290473982028808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086222259985678,0.0,0.12133911948405733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280497215275353,0.11538492872817273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155370481842477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17268314065485132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713930350857121,0.0,0.0,0.17053229434579467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721186424118393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103172507899813,0.0,0.0,0.08948453406542628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452678415955382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769849913803257
mentalhealth,AmIToBeAlone,2019/01/23,"Fighting against my self... Hi... I'm getting tired of fighting my thoughts, for years I have hold them back. Day by day I feel a crack running down my soul and It's just begs to explode  and scatter around the world... and slowly settle on the ground like a mantle of light as my fight simply fades away.",2.0174999999999983,4.269884416666667,2.0766666666666684,97.985,79.83333333333334,4.0,23.333333333333336,3.1291,-0.1986666666666661,235,8,50,0,6,70,48,60,0.16899999999999998,0.79,0.04,-0.7906,0,0,0,0,5,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,5,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,2,7,1,11,4,0,12,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,6,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117949079095189,0.0,0.0,0.329069452658826,0.26931903289953296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4517618694681643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709587339583344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299008356386154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111344323459535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36538496941606063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780577274038183,0.0,0.4025584633794564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225548178770042
mentalhealth,Juxtapoised,2019/01/23,"Feeling of dissasociation when i hear certain voices I sometimes get a strange sensation of dissasociation, like I'm outside myself, slightly dizzy and not really there. It occurs when i hear friends I've known a long time or family talking. When they leave or the phone call ends I feel normal again. Does anybody else get this? Or know what it is?",3.821272321428573,6.779308046875002,4.753839285714285,77.26437500000002,77.90625,6.7821428571428575,27.892857142857146,7.957251820313856,2.144779464285714,281,12,48,5,7,91,49,64,0.073,0.7759999999999999,0.151,0.7143,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,11,9,7,0,1,4,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,6,3,2,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,3,8,26,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423554705900969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20770194226129648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827103748515235,0.0,0.21021695236412974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237474555559043,0.0,0.2400172186690732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833719228003105,0.0,0.24800561446652356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5350094424942072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043843741587965,0.0,0.0,0.25131376241366565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595462936129085,0.0,0.0,0.2100425865047183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325474083062509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520490893429851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347399725020847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907686755941853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383976004826472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GamesCooky,2019/01/23,"My curiosity I'm curious about many things. Some are normal others are probably less normal. But right now there's something that is really cutting me up on the inside, and i want to know.

At what point is someone considered mentally ill?

Is it only once you've received a diagnosis from a doctor?  Or does how others perceive you also count?

Am i going to notice it myself if i'm mentally ill or am i always going to perceive myself as a healthy minded human being?",4.466571428571427,6.201347244444445,6.599841269841274,70.64500000000002,71.0,8.6984126984127,28.41269841269841,9.23628265651192,2.8686031746031744,372,14,59,8,7,131,67,90,0.094,0.835,0.071,-0.4684,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,5,1,1,0,4,0,8,3,0,1,0,14,14,8,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,9,13,2,9,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,4,1,47,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16677269893459504,0.17352545715764225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21345379672705195,0.1824984101962103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370409176019704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461042298260557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143105801859247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203269503529625,0.0,0.21057016437225104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4086580207107485,0.0,0.2374289219454161,0.0,0.22209273694279572,0.0,0.15860724010079974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19714164989200167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248458893116188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335987366067451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780955833484563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766988001112127,0.16054749208571514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854748125869484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300475578798775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KetordinaryDay,2019/01/23,"I'm scared I'll be told there's nothing wrong with me. For context, I've been in therapy several times, last time was around a year ago. Neither of my therapists recommended a visit to the psychiatrist, or hinted at some form of mental illness or disorder.

​

Now my problem is, I am 99.99% sure there's something ""wrong"" with how I'm wired. I just function very differently from everyone around me, and I've had difficulties ""living"" since I was very young (4-5yo). And lately it's just all come to a head, some symptoms are flaring up and I'm just drowning. After many debates, I decided to take an appointment with a psychiatrist.

​

Thing is, honestly, I'm afraid that the doc will tell me that nothing is specifically wrong with me, and I just need to continue trying to be better. I feel like that would destroy me, because it just can't be, there has to be a name for what I am, and I so badly need to know it so I can finally understand why I am the way I am and finally have a ""frame"" for everything. I need to be able to ""frame"" my issues just to be able to stop diving into every ramification of every thought all the time. I need a diagnosis, and my fear before going in is that he'll just say ""you have no mental disorder/illness, its just how you are"". I feel like it would condemn me to just more of the same, without relief. 

​

Are my expectations unrealistic? Am I just trying to ""blame"" all my issues on some disorder instead of just sucking it up and dealing like everyone does? Can I express these thoughts to the doc? Am I being ridiculous here?",5.302669902912619,6.012880779935276,6.436147249190942,76.43674514563111,68.06148867313917,9.545695792880258,32.60210355987055,9.642632912329526,3.052964919093851,1247,53,237,26,20,419,154,309,0.128,0.795,0.077,-0.9493,1,0,1,0,0,0,62.0,0,2,0,1,23,18,3,3,14,0,33,3,1,2,4,57,53,14,1,8,14,0,2,3,0,4,2,1,0,0,13,16,0,1,7,0,0,3,4,11,0,0,7,3,31,7,38,35,10,27,0,0,0,0,10,9,1,5,17,171,44,0,0.16819318594407828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454655557164601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27335587005005696,0.306559695875482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497275945163979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021714241461753,0.05126450251939946,0.0,0.07156000661245789,0.0,0.0,0.07437660244662955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244176842417617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669989468516663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786304060837617,0.19276396266618026,0.0,0.07359349522677082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417100132705132,0.1607157969302027,0.07558059518365072,0.0,0.0,0.09463204733810117,0.08504352845311226,0.12015724564503714,0.0,0.18424741398375846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047794031792755404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630736625697198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17554998816404413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04621728818152586,0.06854994749495708,0.0948646198622191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325604232944555,0.0,0.07425883231531677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526074579144749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949917197210868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494262324188267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138589810865295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046908198127979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687698612145086,0.08419536033427183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500521291490192,0.0,0.06956557073668379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474166585767582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030851732078816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926004363384967,0.08740856010829727,0.06323017196484472,0.0,0.07350412896494098,0.0,0.09617178315427796,0.0976426261848745,0.055870039578594696,0.0,0.0,0.13352660227841706,0.14711219894664634,0.0,0.0,0.08035789846510134,0.0,0.11419213276534285,0.0,0.0,0.08754751910953594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877699301926336,0.0,0.06675196112700728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588409476898235,0.0,0.0,0.08106611463112721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947961359641955,0.27583926813177245,0.306559695875482,0.05415544865888727
mentalhealth,noturbbe,2019/01/23,"College students with depression/anxiety: What accommodations have you asked for an received from your University? If theres a better sub to ask this, let me know.

I'm currently in the process of filling out a disability form for my school per my academic advisor instructing me to. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and these things definitely provide additional challenges during the school year. However this is only my second year of university and I don't really know what is and isnt a reasonable accommodation, and I've seen a few things online that I never thought of that now I think would be quite helpful. 

So I thought I would ask you guys what accommodations you (or people you know) have found most helpful in your experience utilizing your school's disability accommodations program.",7.1482778489116505,9.525960345070423,7.8093341869398225,62.066075544174176,65.26760563380283,11.924199743918052,37.55697823303457,11.567385478589935,5.401780281690142,667,35,102,24,11,221,89,142,0.04,0.865,0.096,0.7708,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,7,0,3,3,3,0,0,7,0,12,1,0,1,1,23,24,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,10,9,0,0,8,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,5,1,18,2,13,15,3,10,0,1,1,0,14,3,0,3,5,75,28,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324943088706855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4261795530180417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343941558512915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088086537675644,0.15423377375803746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486436993118125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16661367418178974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046192297381436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370796345037606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505357824868019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538694994588373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719907542256698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557060859626694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053482723589569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616256212756105,0.0,0.0,0.09734793498406033,0.15623772985259562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4613676367354175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190776560226545,0.0973682996294834,0.0,0.2412747343464087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158926501415762,0.0,0.0,0.19571143525900406
mentalhealth,DiamondGraphite,2019/01/23,"Excessive preparation for daily interactions or conflicts that never happen I've been doing a lot of mindfulness exercises over the last several months. What I have come to realize more recently is that I am constantly preparing for conflicts that simply never happen, and also preparing myself for everyday interactions by running down as many permutations in my head of how the simplest interaction could play out. I am wasting inordinate amounts of mental energy on this when I could be putting it towards accomplishing more in life. 

Any strategies on how one might not stop this behavior? And what might be the origin of this obsessive thinking? ",10.814434250764528,11.484301100917433,10.43995412844037,52.57014525993887,56.3394495412844,14.606116207951072,44.77217125382264,13.5591,7.063659327217126,536,29,70,20,6,175,79,109,0.092,0.851,0.057,-0.612,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,4,0,12,3,1,3,2,22,16,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,4,0,3,2,2,0,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,6,1,18,9,4,21,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,4,10,63,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537870030589719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077464412744866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656545526482224,0.0,0.20781441985029506,0.0,0.30708131462541016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401110425285466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973613905147784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567550203888522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358313834651501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349164635909788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496805516722396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19379917220458914,0.4080124576526608,0.19417419469324254,0.0,0.15349677889825966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966364161885261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303114922995206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19332060044308946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987893099889291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21725099189344052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16077638960906426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232218912492336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chimera1432,2019/01/23,"Anxiety induced anger I've been dealing with anxious anger for probably as long as I can remember. I have anxiety and a sprinkling of depression so whenever this comes up the after effects are usually pretty severe too. I feel as if this comes from having your sense of pride and superiority challenged by others. I've seen this in myself quite frequently where someone will show me something that they are proud of but is also part of something I myself have pride in (which is very rare that I do). This leads to a slew of critical feedback and nitpicking which can make the other person feel bad and that in turn makes me feel worse. It's not something I can control, easily anyways, and it feels like I just blurt it out without really thinking about the other person. Say for example, a friend shows me an art piece that they are really proud of and challenges my perception of superiority. I would begin to unrelentingly critique and point out what's wrong with it and what could be better. Now that can be seen as a good thing but in the end it just leads to the other person feeling sad or offended. The reason I call this anger is because it deeply irks me internally when it happens like someone just insulted me and my brain processes it by trying to make itself perceive it as worse than it actually is. This ends up making me seem to look rather egotistical which is not the case. In fact, I would say that being as such would be a marginal improvement over my current mental state. I feel as if this is some sort of defense mechanism to protect myself from lowering my self-esteem anymore than it already is. Learning to accept that people are not out to hurt me is definitely a trial in it of itself and a difficult but necessary step towards better mental health. Hopefully I was able to shed some light on the situation for those who might be struggling with something similar and are confused as to why they feel that way. I would also like to know if anyone else has or is experiencing this same kind of reaction.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this long-ass post and I hope you have a great rest of your day!",8.613487804878048,7.465629348780488,8.579634146341466,70.06359756097562,61.609756097560975,11.71219512195122,36.35365853658536,10.793553405168565,3.843380487804879,1723,65,309,36,20,562,210,410,0.135,0.688,0.177,0.9699,2,0,4,0,0,0,25.0,0,5,3,13,14,35,6,2,18,0,38,2,1,10,1,77,64,32,0,11,16,0,7,3,1,6,1,2,0,3,43,21,0,3,18,4,0,5,4,14,0,0,4,14,36,21,63,48,6,38,0,3,3,0,18,17,0,13,16,240,79,7,0.08645815214382323,0.0,0.08437068475398725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954087208088558,0.13828110606589086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322804994873117,0.0976731025879245,0.08574325492816415,0.06045355023112711,0.08858659402307135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218894568066475,0.05270408707131928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293041924800416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651589122015244,0.08828343993975506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489520850878572,0.0,0.0,0.0969701693151942,0.06902979932297378,0.0,0.0,0.1115167112565927,0.08913455849556078,0.07446627975310358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222469204839406,0.0,0.15315252132060056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30601087650506736,0.06176572116670295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679735387759847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251699603899411,0.0,0.09532041796265496,0.0,0.0,0.07645465840835061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190097276342156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174490636847842,0.0,0.0,0.09255524003999774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003286091888589,0.04751513934223055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671725790256266,0.0,0.0,0.15302548793580084,0.07260307275877557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230845951658224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425896437313532,0.09171843655610668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362575348633967,0.0,0.0599391965999442,0.2264757708167932,0.0,0.0,0.08173089952034597,0.0,0.08280301051311871,0.0879590229970305,0.09321651105668427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195888714926112,0.08648154894766537,0.0,0.11077461230169056,0.08889337998875585,0.0,0.0,0.09794023236945837,0.0,0.0,0.1375099855217964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787082545706337,0.0901947085083532,0.0976731025879245,0.0,0.0,0.09718258546422973,0.0,0.0,0.14651142348830618,0.2662388379338301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038483269811674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500577056236118,0.0,0.0,0.07959905047495504,0.0,0.0,0.057438954557571774,0.05539889286658698,0.0,0.0,0.0504144437931052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869941004349751,0.0940416424491089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522143987069076,0.07133703014883762,0.0,0.06862645687603805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801503460448563,0.0,0.0,0.0833425734002915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621648672227164,0.2456695627096098,0.09452841694116716,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thatswitchyco,2019/01/23,"Signed off work for two weeks cause of anxiety/depression. First time signed off and feeling weird about it. So as my title said I've been signed off work for two weeks. I have to bring my doctors note in tomorrow and it's got me feeling all kinds of weird about it.

I've been really struggling recently and I am three days into a new medication which is making my anxiety so much worse (normal side effect I'm told) and I'm just feeling really weak and weird and I had hoped this would get rid of my dread but honestly I feel like everyone is talking about me and its gonna be so awkward going back. Not that I even want to go back which sucks cause I used to love my job.

Yeah I guess I'm just feeling a bit all over the place right now. I really hope that this time off will help me relax and get a bit more stable. ",2.035789473684208,3.7822059122807055,3.3472280701754364,91.36926315789476,77.59649122807018,7.133099415204679,20.756725146198832,8.021203637495839,0.7356998830409349,645,16,144,11,15,210,102,171,0.112,0.684,0.204,0.9686,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,12,15,1,3,4,1,10,4,0,5,2,34,35,13,0,5,4,0,5,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,10,9,0,0,6,1,0,3,1,8,0,4,6,6,16,7,19,25,6,25,0,0,0,1,5,10,1,3,13,86,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769078716506124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19638811504958675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788324692580777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623678631386732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235647239720584,0.0,0.10998853972474053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070721299072569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084345195348651,0.0,0.0,0.12202361774674085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228468889185616,0.0912295000998491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108622262705159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343682842229398,0.0,0.1451506517081839,0.0,0.10213402127092032,0.0,0.14067686388046294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855951760622556,0.0,0.0,0.2536714808267824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267233714806523,0.0,0.0,0.1329807656907448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238817623599322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525498691009135,0.0,0.08524129716308909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286451537176521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938748051751596,0.0,0.0,0.12333425957458223,0.0,0.0,0.12511970218480242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342019000060149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454252693843503,0.0,0.12608916593770442,0.0,0.0,0.10905581302543328,0.12147273469886424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350063672700813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264109176869313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489267644959139,0.0,0.0,0.12202361774674085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24949031497049834,0.0,0.0,0.11029251780702212,0.0,0.0,0.07532125949585007,0.0,0.20486780972626276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185935453625314,0.0,0.13013805788517993,0.09071500733900766,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kittyinmyditty,2019/01/23,"Looking for others who have dealt with this: workplace accommodations I’ve been in my first full time job for about four months now and it has been difficult getting through with the mental health issues I experience. I started the process of seeking out accommodations under the ADA and I hope the documentation I have is enough to receive support. Has anyone else out there been successful with this? Being young I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing but I want to be able to advocate for myself and have a good career throughout my life. My depression, my anxiety, my trauma will never disappear but I can do what I can to monitor and treat them. I just want to be able to work a job without feeling at risk for losing it because my mental health impacts performance or attendance. ",7.050544217687078,7.74708725170068,7.235782312925171,72.27707482993196,64.23809523809524,10.070748299319726,34.70068027210884,9.994966539143718,3.5247088435374145,634,27,109,13,9,205,95,147,0.112,0.7440000000000001,0.14400000000000002,0.2418,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,5,4,11,0,1,6,0,18,3,0,0,1,21,29,7,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,5,0,2,3,3,18,6,22,22,2,16,0,2,1,0,3,6,0,2,8,87,26,5,0.32880963250661505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576923443800966,0.0,0.0,0.11495567012669032,0.16845216271384175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021965003768127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160162733423665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373391280143877,0.0,0.0,0.1698741233672397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081945710661244,0.0,0.0,0.16625602981937107,0.11745083358099845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984265271882407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589473093379921,0.0,0.0,0.13789495973959934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34950926352292994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329107824893768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159591445622488,0.32629282410420124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035258745543064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161239837477538,0.08031988881333092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805863924174525,0.18392693626410692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313627727157447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122635581995148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679912952998154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636657513103645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865646371990365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586577046581377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939404404162228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584803760686391,0.0,0.11968866428431918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,em_h245,2019/01/23,"I am borderline. Sometimes it hurts to be alive. TW: Suicide. Just wanted to say this lol. One minute I'm feeling good about myself, the next minute I want instant death.",1.345937499999998,4.014314218750002,1.6559999999999988,94.589,94.3125,3.8100000000000014,22.025,5.6839178017228535,0.27164250000000045,133,5,25,1,5,40,28,32,0.261,0.477,0.262,-0.4497,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,3,1,3,5,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799628456579118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29852714976512784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810176029645563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785228533464772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24117926239486415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830402959603571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35201202376551355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3893165473587005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198593408416105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sir_justthetip,2019/01/23,"How far does doctor/patient confidentiality go? I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for at least 15 years and I'm tired. I want to speak with a professional but for lack of a better term I am paranoid. I fear that telling someone of my lack of will to live and/or other aspects of my life will trigger some ""necessary response"" that will end up with me in a psych hospital or something which I know for me will not be productive. I barely hold on to the life I have and losing my job and house because I had to spend time away will be the very least productive thing ever for my life in my opinion. I want help with my situation but I'm so afraid of my honesty becoming my downfall. I don't want to tell anyone for fear of unseen repercussions ""for my own good"", if that makes sense. I have made it this far and if I get committed I feel like that would be the last straw for what sanity I have left. I want to keep doing what I'm doing and keep my dignity but I don't know how much longer I can do this without help. ",4.343012863913337,5.003064943127964,5.219610697359516,84.48441943127966,70.18483412322274,8.682599864590387,28.34157075152336,8.841846274778883,1.953378876100204,817,28,174,14,14,267,116,211,0.131,0.7340000000000001,0.135,0.0129,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,4,9,0,4,6,0,21,4,0,5,2,41,38,15,1,9,8,0,1,1,0,6,4,1,0,0,12,10,0,3,4,0,1,1,4,6,0,0,3,2,29,3,30,26,8,16,0,2,0,0,5,9,0,5,7,122,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627384357902187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936132348832932,0.0,0.0,0.08393262290271188,0.1520643030751314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177282562286736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858947806130052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092832040691924,0.12049068613556968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194967727272063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454563425136544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30987196026079644,0.0696186059863742,0.09836350975937999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193569382936221,0.0,0.07825060715147955,0.11548519328950756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18457718011697086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887213323145488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663294848416355,0.2447647887772951,0.0,0.0,0.15133817865717247,0.11223315569906618,0.0,0.0,0.14959716023290262,0.0,0.29175687205641626,0.06726683775908568,0.0,0.12158000689772833,0.0,0.0,0.15403636090629055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302826221063752,0.09190703836178964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121567371190694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15476578291626564,0.0,0.0,0.11666161717157797,0.10599806024586653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394018567687214,0.0,0.15060706122674825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406887430877565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914730219362852,0.0,0.0,0.10930797536047222,0.0802863067148986,0.15825077406436044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360606706609815,0.3248450746918473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327252054566923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978087844386584,0.0,0.0,0.08866581410194098
mentalhealth,KornikusPC,2019/01/23,"I think I might be crazy My parents divorced when I was very young because my dad is severely bipolar. I started noticing last year (I was 13) that something might be wrong with me when I would stay up late at night to get homework done and either have crazy fever dreams in short bursts of sleep or just sit in my bed and think I hear or see things that aren't there. I wasn't using any drugs at this point, not even weed or alcohol. I specifically remember doing this thing where I would lay in my bed and think I can see my phone through my closed eyes, only to get a notification or something and find out nothing happened. I wasn't dreaming or anything, I guess I was just tired and stressed out from all the homework I wasn't doing. I did have some really upsetting dreams though, I remember one time I got home from school and took a nap to see literally the most terrifying thing I have ever seen, which was really just my dog's face in a dream. I don't remember why it scared me so much but I immediately woke up, my heart beating fast and me almost hyperventilating. This was basically my life every night last year, and I think it might have induced some type of mental disorder on me because lately I just don't feel right. I get in a depressed state very easily, my mind is foggy, my memory isn't as good, and I'm just bringing this up tonight because I had a night similar to what every night would be like last year for me. I don't know if sleep deprivation and constant stress for a year can cause underlying mental issues, but have any of you had any experience with something like this? 
(I'm sorry if I was rambling, I'm very tired and I think I have a fever)",6.519047619047619,5.853574238095241,6.861428571428572,79.11690476190479,65.54761904761905,10.085714285714287,31.761904761904763,9.444778638647367,2.5254119047619046,1328,44,276,22,18,432,167,336,0.139,0.8140000000000001,0.047,-0.9805,1,0,5,0,1,0,26.0,0,1,0,1,13,10,0,4,9,0,39,13,5,3,2,60,65,25,0,5,16,2,1,2,0,6,8,1,5,0,14,16,1,0,12,5,0,2,9,7,0,1,17,7,46,3,29,39,6,46,0,2,5,0,6,19,0,15,24,178,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337726498110884,0.07812352286065738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916426837336245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420197375403737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267671779109875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014573651556997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430948856994938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719658741019037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941511881185511,0.0,0.0,0.07983926165921,0.0,0.0,0.09047583939022474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051529998544024035,0.07057153581705962,0.1314666652226442,0.0,0.0,0.0763163454415402,0.0,0.0,0.03944812658776359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130682458029024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228318778379532,0.0,0.0,0.06543760047117979,0.06239793441263299,0.0,0.08594536488976262,0.0,0.06899085268777454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793169227687479,0.09245142817883936,0.0,0.0,0.07825818033217354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143027790049533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042876523772956435,0.19078467619248832,0.17601487619781092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05510625528269485,0.07623107913417057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15724711601455565,0.24829356157992655,0.07877570314832902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735203474247313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928575527453316,0.0,0.07486015048846523,0.08882374352396456,0.0,0.0,0.05286685725886543,0.05933602654775181,0.0,0.0,0.08662949620165082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375200630327608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996035713131304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26513676017691923,0.06662674575817214,0.0,0.0,0.07810939392995461,0.07895814421479277,0.18651017517624685,0.0,0.0,0.08813786854177331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614821870451367,0.0,0.0,0.1801856632746162,0.0,0.08733450146588442,0.05522137622726727,0.08315655780716558,0.0,0.0,0.1787381743843244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155494610855068,0.24995317070222198,0.07665205883451155,0.0,0.04549278667218946,0.1793398899462104,0.0,0.0,0.08668060851057748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738230030198741,0.0,0.19311848253490727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039889879675176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626474727258864,0.08530017952816185,0.0,0.200963533190254
mentalhealth,Grillezzz,2019/01/23,"Anyone else have a crazy mum? Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I really need some support or advice or kind words or something right now. 

I've always struggled from GAD, panic disorder and social anxiety (and the fun ""low moods"" related to it all). Recently life has just gotten out of control and it can all be traced back to my mother. 

I've never had the best relationship with her, manipulative, controlling and emotionally abusive (all the fun things). She has always had mental health issues that shes claimed is just mild depression. But it sucks because she won't go ro get help. She clearly has something extremely wrong with her mental health, and it has hust been getting worse. 

I really don't want to have to cut her off, but I'm suffering more for it. And my sisters don't get it, ny eldest moved out at 16 before it got extremely bad and my middle was fairly protected from it by our father. 

I love my mum more than anything, she is my mother afterall, but I just can't have her in ky kife the way things are going. 

Has anyone here been through this? Or can offer me any tips to get through it without destroying the rest of my family? 

Note, I left a few details out because that's a bit hard to talk about atm. 

Thanks xx",5.12875,5.8020150607287455,5.813620951417004,80.87767839068829,68.43319838056682,9.089979757085024,28.392965587044536,9.188382445141503,2.228255263157894,988,32,194,18,16,322,150,247,0.203,0.66,0.13699999999999998,-0.954,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,3,7,19,3,2,9,0,25,4,0,3,6,39,40,16,0,3,14,6,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,16,12,0,3,0,0,1,3,7,10,0,0,7,1,22,8,26,31,10,21,0,3,0,1,22,12,1,6,4,130,38,0,0.0,0.13885056812305838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451636626882357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950223475284668,0.0,0.0,0.07969297823188227,0.0,0.0896497588189615,0.0,0.0,0.16388345127137566,0.12007464168251612,0.0964370938737779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901116044819971,0.0978484598221142,0.1428754415966061,0.0,0.09971975775578776,0.0,0.1229833039869566,0.0,0.12794074213797688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262876306800607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093527082049462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343094877367632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789691221317724,0.13182257902999506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047596911938512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24490701391142394,0.0,0.13320315349764858,0.0,0.09372726579301642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497890488169173,0.0,0.0,0.2491342284131295,0.0,0.0,0.07854974980478194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231554413175742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122034983212827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273268938267841,0.0,0.08277451304050322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057682313657072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361992007686979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455404811342664,0.0,0.08689463798349525,0.09038387990204423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749680026109476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243823805948187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223528714747656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014937673505074,0.0,0.11571063806559236,0.12581782335221606,0.0,0.20015863561456695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946008657807068,0.0,0.1804366305049966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251206313377412,0.0,0.0,0.13298542210085956,0.11044985495438292,0.0,0.0,0.09419259880085404,0.0,0.10789248158202712,0.0,0.0,0.15571118775200954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691214897913976,0.09301968667160658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296663731458632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942626158658938,0.0,0.1281284817211737,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phoenixfeather88,2019/01/23,"Possible PTSD On Monday night I had a chat with a friend.  A chat that I'd been waiting a long time (literally months) to have.  I pretty much always have a hard time coping, literally everything I've done in the last 12ish years has been such a struggle, and I'm only 30.

I told him that the worst of it was about 10 years ago, when I spent almost a year being completely unable to function.  I couldn't sleep until I'd exhausted myself by crying for hours each night, and I couldn't get out of bed until lunch time most days.  I hate admitting that to anyone, and he was the first person I'd told who hadn't known me at that time.

He said that how I described it sounds like possible PTSD, which is something I had actually thought myself a number of months ago.  I know what the trauma was; he doesn't.  For someone to say that, who doesn't know what the trauma could have been, makes me think there is something to it.  It actually really surprised me that he so quickly came to that conclusion.

I'm not sure what to do now.  The thought of trying to find a counsellor - the thought of sitting in front of a stranger and having to tell them about my life - that's not something I can do, but I can't expect to be able to rely on friends either - friends are for support, but they are not for ultimate dependence.  I feel really alone most of the time.",5.974071340713407,5.49511226199262,6.347512915129155,81.73275768757688,66.60147601476015,9.588290282902829,29.87478474784748,9.029198982220553,2.1650824600246,1057,32,220,16,15,342,143,271,0.077,0.843,0.08,0.5628,0,1,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,2,2,9,13,1,1,18,0,30,4,1,3,1,37,50,11,0,4,6,0,2,1,3,0,2,3,1,1,19,8,1,1,11,2,1,2,9,6,0,1,18,5,22,7,34,27,6,34,0,0,0,0,21,6,0,4,26,146,41,0,0.10659584581166433,0.0,0.20804433775313072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18898157137347732,0.0,0.1067403418423562,0.11040114863581513,0.0,0.0,0.08869628293047288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453429386838116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191725015120085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117637162626943,0.0,0.0,0.08510810909769757,0.0,0.11709053126880532,0.06874550209422267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090845595525118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580147287570788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05389806248917785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742667192528934,0.0906703719928886,0.0,0.0,0.2470670581549905,0.0,0.05569192985530587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548894028935426,0.10524132913289652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497543602649613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716457827177845,0.08688984149452575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529179831045703,0.05207734589943072,0.0,0.0,0.09433396916767603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115355480959397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17016757428636134,0.0,0.07836021174678959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000659605872356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107094413254748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930753809693022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403415996650173,0.0,0.1084462970887812,0.0,0.0,0.24920967886073744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657605673916198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139705956996584,0.08476929503340537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667282805668486,0.0,0.09031831423962887,0.24618806972297844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114371224818023,0.0,0.0,0.12096370260915328,0.10046532316747624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316946764148502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830231384450776,0.0,0.2538755841088227,0.31078447456933,0.0,0.0,0.2037137974753228,0.0,0.07237158217103236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20593268946187634
mentalhealth,KittyJPEG,2019/01/23,"Extreme intense sudden fear Hi I’m not really sure where to put this but I’m a bit frantic at the moment. It’s 4:49 am and I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight. Since about 8 pm I’ve felt a sudden intense fear. Not about anything specific, literally nothing is happening. But I suddenly felt like extreme intense sudden fear, like as if I saw a ghost or just witnessed a death. My face muscles feel really sore and my whole body just feels shaky and restless. I feel like this has happened before, usually in a similar manner and at the same time. No one should feel the need to respond to this or comment but I just had to feel like I was talking to someone by making a post on reddit to almost give myself the illusion I’m speaking with someone. ",2.9993479368313807,4.898774854304636,4.490993377483446,83.55266938359654,75.29139072847683,7.030259806418747,28.83392766174223,7.882392219407189,2.0065625063678048,597,26,113,9,13,199,94,151,0.21600000000000005,0.6809999999999999,0.103,-0.9678,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,6,10,0,7,4,3,1,1,31,26,11,2,3,11,0,7,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,8,0,0,2,4,6,0,1,5,9,9,5,16,20,3,16,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,5,12,66,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915364409344005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435657633873525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824920922239315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517140828018487,0.15435908713753854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4691236891059108,0.35132507894821474,0.19855363285269634,0.2668569031154295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330814933014648,0.07897716521534466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457730580772928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27156564543602496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276039659476096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030409866455784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334092417252258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416646318497768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309031480541308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969847849397193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804942033289725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495350710721194,0.0,0.13906562873635428,0.0,0.2354896440819449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097312208749085,0.0,0.0,0.11169501985835563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904333363962992,0.0,0.0,0.08103176627981591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305061168768885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15514976086243362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_-Distant-_,2019/01/23,"I don't get sad about saddening things So I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place but imma go here anyway, now back to the post

Ok so when I say that I don't mean I never ever get sad but when I do it is normally caused by verbal abuse (this might be important idk) but aside from that I don't really get sad and I haven't for a very long time. I know that I got sad when i was little but I don't remember being really sad past that. Sad things have happened to me ( nothing big like the death of a loved one though) but when they happen I kinda just go ""oh, ok, what now"" and continue on. I don't want to state my exact age but I am in the teens though this has been something I have noted for a long time (pre-teenage years) and I have been wanting to know if it is abnormal in any way.

As a side note (though it may be useful) I don't really react when others hurt themselves. In primary school I would see people, especially younger people, get hurt all the time and while everyone else fussed over them I would simply watch it and not really get what all the fuss really is.


If there is any questions I might have to answer to help lead to a conclusion feel free to ask me them and I will answer as soon as I can. Thank you in advance.
",1.3134371069182365,3.01987863773585,3.1434198113207583,92.19223663522014,79.60377358490567,6.831761006289308,18.588836477987424,7.793537801064563,0.3666006289308177,969,20,223,16,24,324,140,265,0.115,0.7440000000000001,0.141,0.7441,0,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,0,1,3,3,20,15,0,0,11,2,32,1,0,4,6,46,54,29,1,8,12,0,1,1,0,6,0,1,0,0,16,6,0,0,9,0,1,4,10,8,0,1,4,4,29,8,23,41,2,39,0,8,2,1,9,11,0,8,22,152,45,2,0.0,0.13022343903005432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948291292125512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274948383201804,0.0,0.0,0.08451274770270813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290616551382805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181433501607818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994184076401623,0.0,0.10502215185270407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555729712317661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871129195332285,0.0,0.12492691223804504,0.0,0.08790375903707702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943832066723282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366925964223224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353183537517025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208055250406622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05369567498046703,0.11015705472400716,0.0,0.19453088710883404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919658964853408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197224291726049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331908111278831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847681059777313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768686099677943,0.10546003953433904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447675191937103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491996985982018,0.15239324173329494,0.0,0.11483084761133508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526183126536942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312252142737808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520505618192436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450475109394316,0.09386114235482143,0.0,0.08740354247751342,0.0,0.11123313212859674,0.08758273625019511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461282826920533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358733238875292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118885494689683,0.0,0.0,0.14603646667509598,0.0,0.32395322888063044,0.0,0.1922653527813412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492553791829796,0.0,0.09068591086201916,0.1296536014680056,0.08724014355590598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561514967676147,0.0,0.0,0.07077738294979198
mentalhealth,DoULiekChickenz,2019/01/23,"Missing schizophrenic father and husband in Hawaii Michael Mulholland (born 1985) is a father and husband who went missing this week in Hawaii. He is a danger to himself but not others. He believes he is Jesus or enlightened and others are the sick ones. He went missing after visiting his church to speak with a priest. The priest believes he may be wanting to kill himself. 

He is tall and thin with dark hair. He does not have social media or allow himself to be photographed so the most recent image I have of him is from 2005. http://imgur.com/a/4KjDZeb",5.9679,8.232744590000003,4.979000000000003,81.62950000000002,68.1,6.6000000000000005,30.5,7.1686216300943375,2.0019,449,18,71,4,8,133,63,100,0.16899999999999998,0.773,0.058,-0.9109,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,6,0,11,3,1,1,0,16,17,8,1,1,5,4,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,5,0,1,2,3,6,0,11,12,1,11,4,3,0,0,20,4,0,4,4,50,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6028876293033909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341399225472996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960109002408141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813027646315883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641791182642801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727394893638011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578113692178729,0.0,0.21461715973661769,0.0,0.0,0.4960538967540674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DRXNK,2019/01/23,"I need help identifying a possible disorder or specific fear? So I'm going to give a quick description of already known mental diagnoses-
Various panic disorders.
DID.
DR/DP.
Social anxiety.
Depression. 
ODD.
ADHD.
ADD.
OCD.
Tourettes.
SAD.
Now that that's out of the way.
Recently I've been having an issue at night time. Specifically with night time.

Now. I live with my father in a small house, in a decent area.  I dont sleep very well. Infact I rarely manage to catch more than a few hours on a regular basis.
But, every time I wind up alone in my house, i start to hear things.   I feel footsteps on my floor as if someone is lurking in the next room.  I've caught myself getting chills and cold sweats while peering into the darkness of my kitchen as if I can see an outline of a figure which isnt there.    I fear for my life to even open doors and turn corners in my own home.


I've caught myself various times breaking down to tears only to run immediately to the safety of light.

but what disturbs me the most..
i cant exactly see it as a real thing, but more like how we see dreams.   
but theres an image of something... that i cant make out.. or directly think of, otherwise i begin to fear turning around...

its different every time but i see it staring at me.


im terrified to look in the.mirror.


mirrors....",1.2039244186046505,3.7525882829457364,3.1504990310077514,86.83528343023258,86.71317829457365,6.325775193798449,22.79118217054264,7.6454224807358475,1.3611507751937988,1019,38,199,20,32,341,163,258,0.147,0.81,0.043,-0.9648,1,1,1,0,0,0,49.0,1,0,0,0,10,9,0,5,16,0,9,5,2,2,1,30,29,17,0,3,9,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,0,10,11,1,0,4,1,0,5,4,7,1,0,4,10,24,2,39,25,7,45,0,2,6,0,6,22,0,5,17,126,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279322061440162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025008990850027,0.11747021517322825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814339538684722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947630631655722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168522365237436,0.10804450292293613,0.0,0.11121758676459496,0.2440018305133552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247585999015848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030921693203265,0.0,0.17937742180553115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593575135572936,0.05382431531512255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05561572818395008,0.10211653385380542,0.060497984601204924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997687952996282,0.0,0.07135118695522602,0.0,0.10677802315441794,0.0,0.1048318011462306,0.2456580011242865,0.0,0.0,0.114984260183469,0.11110613692042492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751887787008736,0.05200608995969904,0.0,0.0939972947542054,0.0,0.08939118465174184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105619743998072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727655641556448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893132155832289,0.0,0.0,0.11321077602445093,0.19979221606773767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096001708337998,0.0,0.12489613175798425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200063735714832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211633977810394,0.0,0.0,0.10510652662605884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393074516337609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652687068355578,0.10851236308585298,0.0901947342789958,0.08195040588117372,0.0,0.0,0.07534585348632017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144129161360575,0.0682088577461836,0.0,0.0,0.3103592370806104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315740506755695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783239320639964,0.0,0.08449505021616628,0.0,0.0,0.09571132853056576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThegreatLUCY,2019/01/23,"loved father death impact on my special needs sister My father sadly passed away earlier this month and we as a family are still going through the shock .....i have a special needs sister (crouzon syndrome) she's 27 but living with a mind of 12 year old girl she's has a lovely kid spirit and they were so close together more than words can describe they shared everything and he was her favorite person in family being her the only girl in our family i was sure he loved her more than anyone... now that he was ill she was witnessing his pain and actually advised him to go the hospital and that's where death came 3 days later in ICU (18 days ago ) now we haven't been thinking clearly and we were so shocked we didn't tell her because we all wanted her to absorb this peacefully now my family decided not to let her know and keep saying that he's still at the hospital and eventually he will come  their argument is that by time and constant praying to jesus will make her forget as long as we're all around her and trying our best to make her happy and not feel his absence.this comes from a christian religious third world country society where understanding mental health and behavior is not something older generations care or give a shit about unlike them i that this kind of behavior can cause some trauma or at least depression  but also i have no idea how to bring this to her in a way she could understand and comprehend nicely because it would break me seeing her going through sadness i want her to pass this the easiest way possible she's never been through death and i am not sure how to explain this to her.

any advices or thoughts would be much appreciated ",8.350969626168226,7.379516766355143,8.077988707165108,72.88090829439253,62.02180685358256,11.389485981308413,35.015771028037385,10.550175099000144,3.5608518691588777,1346,48,244,27,16,431,186,321,0.147,0.6759999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.9067,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,7,0,4,1,14,21,1,0,12,0,27,7,1,5,6,66,54,27,3,7,9,4,1,0,0,4,3,1,0,4,12,25,0,1,9,0,0,9,8,8,0,1,11,3,42,13,33,35,8,42,4,3,1,3,54,13,1,4,17,172,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.10353957279073277,0.0,0.0,0.1036809716896442,0.09405240910016914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484917888743171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215252884052326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418850259264011,0.0,0.0,0.0944526602540756,0.0,0.0,0.09968567293279328,0.0,0.0,0.12935674696967756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134677840753272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213516323761258,0.10817735633422204,0.10899527182482427,0.0,0.18279376659387334,0.0,0.1146578224071636,0.0,0.08471326210722673,0.0,0.0,0.13685313419231718,0.0,0.091384902415257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535701554198628,0.0,0.4000914873517544,0.0,0.053648010079464084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178204414482693,0.18089945791251805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294681692672555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278073049570395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977546374895975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943077189594421,0.0,0.11048818655259712,0.058310504921606575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849577756482988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368940016965054,0.09389632010908547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872817229324826,0.0,0.14164689598559352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692516469885162,0.0,0.1071320765288088,0.0,0.08468905299096513,0.0,0.07799667066816733,0.15734555320415172,0.08183187083779547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113354761767815,0.0,0.0,0.0806948269958288,0.11289927402466984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264357095199267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196132844657664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437601992268877,0.0,0.0,0.0845490067022315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891146950245684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168197170720237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694652856739182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199998457124784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273722112241617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798543495541458,0.0,0.08423258812525147,0.061868526823516574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203582448919921,0.0,0.0,0.22091041014178786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516260268658186,0.16843656177036834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507426521712391,0.0,0.0,0.06832576466089843
mentalhealth,dusty-codpiece,2019/01/23,"Old friend has been in psych ward for 6 months and is no longer returning my calls... Anyone have any experience with this? As the title states, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I used to be close friends with a fellow class clown in high school, this guy was honestly one of the most likeable, charming, funny guys I knew. Let's call him Clay. Many people from our friend group drifted off across the province and we ended up unintentionally losing a lot of connection with one another. I always wanted to maintain a friendship with Clay and so I tried to message him 2 to 3 times a year, but he slowly stopped using any social media, got rid of his cellphone and basically became unreachable over the years. If we ever hung out together he seemed like he had been slowly regressing and was becoming a more insecure person who no longer enjoyed to joke around very much. He took things very seriously, in a way that made me personally feel like I could hurt his feelings fairly easily if I did joke around too much. 

​

Fast forward to now. I Just turned 27, I haven't seen him for about 3 years.  I was chatting with another old friend that I speak to once or twice a year, let's call this friend Bill, who I know **occasionally** hangs out with Clay still. Clay was always one of the main things Bill and I talked about when we did connect over the years because he also noticed Clay's regressive and isolating behaviour. We always felt that Clay just had his sh\*t together and was confidently doing his own thing (he was so confident before that it seemed to add up..). We figured that he just didn't want to hang out with most people and didn't want to hang out with us most of the time. We were wrong and Clay recently had a huge nervous breakdown. He ended up in the psych ward and has been there for 6 months. 

​

So the first thing I did was call Clay's home to see if he was around to try and talk to him. His mom said he wasn't around but she took my number and said she'd leave a message for him. I didn't hear from him for 3 days, so I called back again to see if maybe when I called before, it was bad timing for Clay or his family due to what's been going on with him. His mom answered and didn't mention what was going on, but that he could be reached at \[insert phone number\]. I called and it was the psychiatric ward, I asked for Clay, I got through and Clay sounded heavily medicated and quite emotionless. I think after that, something primal triggered in me and I became very nervous. Clay was honestly one of the most well rounded people in high school (we were all lunatics and teenagers and doofus' I know!), but he was super sincere, cared a ton about people, made everyone laugh and was always a very vibrant person. So hearing him sound ""hollow"" like this.... made me feel **really** **scared*****.*** I was freaked right out. Our conversation was very uncomfortable, I did my best to try and be supportive, trying to talk to him like I would regularly. But I knew I wasn't. And I suspect he felt the same way. It ended really abruptly and I felt like I failed to support him. 

​

The next morning I decided to do the thing that I thought would be the most helpful, I called Clay and after he said ""hello?"" I just let him have it. I said ""Clay I just wanted to say that I love you and I do not judge you at all for any of this. I don't think less of you, you can come stay with me and my girlfriend (a short trip away from where he is) if you want to take a break from anything. I can relate with going through 'stuff' because I had my own manic episode (that he wasn't aware about) when I was 19 and I just really wanted to say that I love you dude! We can chat every week or everyday if you want to. I won't mention anything that you're going through with anyone or anything if you don't want, you've got full control over this. I really don't want you to feel alone like I did when I went through my manic episode."" 

​

Clay replied sounding very medicated and tired ""That's very kind of you. I'll keep in touch."" And then basically ended the conversation. Fast forward a week and a couple days (today). I haven't heard from Clay. I decided to give him a call today, he wasn't around in the facility, called him again in an hour like I was told to, he was busy, and then I called once more asking the head dr. there asking if they had any advice because I didn't want to overwhelm or stress him out, but I also want to be supportive and sensitive. They told me to just be a friend and that they'll pass the message on to him and we can leave the ball in his court. Well sure enough, he hasn't responded so far and I keep wondering if I f\*cked up somehow. I know he's mentally unstable, I just have always felt like I've had a knack for consoling people and he seems like he wants nothing to do with me/our interactions. Plus I feel like I'm super nervous and saying things in a very jumbled way and am just insecure about the idea that I might not be saying what he wants to hear. 

​

ALSO I didn't mention earlier, he doesn't seem like he wants to talk about himself. He seems to nervously + quickly ask questions about me and flips my questions really quick back at me.

​

THANK YOU IF YOU'VE MADE IT THIS FAR, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING IF YOU HAVE GOTTEN HERE. 

​

Super long winded story, mostly just wanted to get it all off my chest.. If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom from their own experiences or education I would greatly, greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for reading my super long drawn out story-rant! 

​",3.0153955625280173,5.012473931159423,3.8125310025399664,88.00022635589424,75.53985507246377,6.798954131181833,23.972023009113997,7.696351355952902,1.102633116689078,4396,139,893,62,97,1400,391,1104,0.071,0.754,0.175,0.9992,0,1,1,0,0,0,179.0,12,12,4,10,52,62,0,9,43,0,90,8,2,8,5,193,179,82,0,32,37,2,11,11,8,6,4,16,1,5,42,78,0,4,31,6,2,16,22,16,2,6,72,30,132,46,132,88,25,125,0,4,4,2,154,53,0,36,65,578,174,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06049611042082032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03205918327965214,0.0,0.07426211210368172,0.1287817394034542,0.26831062911822445,0.300901622663453,0.10524948022631464,0.06491628923676346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493162301132181,0.0,0.07641792963403747,0.13777886315955284,0.11575187617639013,0.0,0.0290824602568727,0.04760368978302359,0.02584543774297769,0.056608121438478175,0.03418644716533481,0.052679435026519415,0.0,0.032484490122778806,0.0,0.033793934945209214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34768433616852096,0.0,0.03155983777533008,0.0,0.0,0.02666427529537982,0.0,0.0,0.03471773206175434,0.04942876957101817,0.03425019869015256,0.0,0.039925755819091566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096648224364314,0.0319839306337368,0.0,0.0,0.027999817569964145,0.02608022200556779,0.029578034515741574,0.0,0.06055823286909225,0.029180835213564432,0.0,0.07825678831742433,0.044227328326024135,0.118883424096381,0.0,0.0,0.026329599915152112,0.0,0.0,0.14349068279867058,0.0,0.016172275456286057,0.029694059001847063,0.07036786919590764,0.0,0.07427062880530237,0.0682541601033042,0.0,0.06129898684952586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03176790716123723,0.0,0.10466279274776176,0.0,0.02074792666125484,0.06540955704902117,0.031049554856485376,0.0,0.03048362073239393,0.0,0.033137077591103146,0.034943488484810215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055026974446034715,0.0,0.032234003139409856,0.05103480446234526,0.0,0.0,0.0655519900297748,0.0,0.09495820350818944,0.0,0.16634907492281995,0.0,0.0,0.05478693010740069,0.0,0.034629796784466635,0.0,0.02631612712915468,0.055874691209588837,0.11715833070961587,0.0,0.031382668412520964,0.031097622783635363,0.0,0.0,0.062366136444847765,0.03119452135223485,0.032837481134303716,0.0,0.0725062960732628,0.04941464395715976,0.0,0.04550975096300238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03292010936963136,0.0,0.0,0.029701359516543138,0.035241526002769585,0.06496238558321615,0.06593035844045292,0.08390138270947113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729861473118088,0.0810839579349348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935150583377339,0.03292356842616037,0.03096254513995253,0.0,0.09915016484693834,0.0,0.03056350705735488,0.0,0.0,0.02643469077030114,0.11777801071597845,0.09846398880966802,0.03099052266920493,0.06265454217712196,0.049332929293329116,0.14089756223636127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03155387663778497,0.0,0.02383003119695296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03299302504033029,0.024720038951103886,0.025879070903876755,0.035457895436220084,0.0,0.03543511721525766,0.0,0.10537927077891264,0.02917393748592517,0.0,0.023273682419963648,0.09951915247649312,0.0,0.05699687906653037,0.0,0.0,0.12338744471540887,0.03966836260352154,0.0,0.02457415217668944,0.05414887374164308,0.035577263151310566,0.05868186472860554,0.05915606903148315,0.06878244031534736,0.08406339411243577,0.03366924661730883,0.0,0.0,0.03723405342208063,0.053468926077817,0.0,0.20432344637769506,0.2738635586630383,0.07370993447764891,0.049659133691843216,0.0,0.05566302985960342,0.028694824318219563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033568475324370656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596685955675782,0.03384352399053733,0.300901622663453,0.09966734821616133
mentalhealth,happyhippy275,2019/01/23,"Tired It’s not that we’re sad anymore, or hurt, or melancholy. Just plain tired. Everything going on isn’t even making us hurt or feel upset or worried; it’s just depleting so much energy you’re exhausted. That just going to sleep is the only thing we can do. Maybe if we just keep sleeping it’ll get better. Like maybe being sad or hurt is better then feeling nothing,empty, and tied. ",2.283947368421053,4.758882394736844,3.4860526315789464,86.98986842105263,80.3157894736842,5.905263157894738,21.34210526315789,7.1686216300943375,0.8152421052631582,306,9,57,4,8,99,53,76,0.272,0.5489999999999999,0.179,-0.8724,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,3,0,0,2,6,10,0,1,1,0,7,5,2,1,0,18,14,9,0,1,11,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,0,2,3,3,2,12,1,4,0,5,0,0,3,1,0,6,2,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282474127195534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904118343481353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844087187996783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755647990346266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603102511457465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577848421120919,0.0,0.18661718856796444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5272816978607449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593278699303616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021118687397052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959297143524427,0.0,0.3298864098824588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069289398971365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248680503500098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32860177483519604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907543599323063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774068421913414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197491112009462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673511242329986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alluringluna,2019/01/23,"I think I may have BPD. I think I may have borderline personality disorder & want to see a therapist but my parents aren’t very accepting of therapy. I don’t want them to see charge of the session on their insurance bill & start questioning me. 

I’m a student in a mental health counseling program which makes me feel even more useless that I don’t know what’s wrong with me. 

My possible symptoms:

I assume everyone hates me/don’t want me around so I don’t even try to make friends. I generally do things alone & only have one really close friend, my best friend of 3 years. I get along well with coworkers but I’m always afraid they secretly hate me & sometimes I will detach myself from emotionally if I feel that way.

I get random mood swings from time to time so one second I’ll be fine & the next I’ll feel really down about myself. I thought it was depression for a while but my symptoms to last long enough for it to be that.

I can get incredibly irritable & angry at the tiniest things like a customer leaving their dirty cups at the table instead of throwing them away.

I have a very tumultuous relationship with my mom, who I suspect has a personality disorder. She lashes out at me a lot & calls me names only to cry & play the victim when I call her out.

I have anxiety that I take medication (hydroxyzine 25 mg) for.

I dissociate from time to time. It mainly happens when I’m driving (which is terrifying) or when I’m about to take a picture of myself. It occurs randomly sometimes too, most times when I’m class.

I feel like I don’t deserve any kind of happiness in my life. If something bad happens, it’s because I deserve it.

I did used to cut myself but it’s been almost a year since I’ve done it.

I do plan to see a therapist through my school but I may have to check my mail religiously until the bill shows up.",3.453740942028982,5.194748486413044,4.905956521739132,81.73759420289855,73.64673913043478,8.493623188405797,27.755797101449275,9.120678840339163,2.3254431884057967,1465,57,292,33,30,490,192,368,0.16399999999999998,0.7170000000000001,0.118,-0.9633,2,1,1,0,0,1,46.0,0,0,5,2,14,22,4,1,17,0,26,5,0,3,0,45,58,16,0,5,8,2,4,2,3,4,5,0,0,2,18,8,0,0,13,2,3,2,5,9,1,3,5,7,53,12,44,47,6,34,0,2,3,0,22,14,0,13,19,187,71,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092769478802922,0.0733602576076975,0.0,0.0,0.05893763103940981,0.613968755825707,0.0,0.04816797056323816,0.0,0.05418604047182622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305521139520541,0.0,0.0,0.06654869394829313,0.0,0.059141493227369724,0.043178334012128367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433347702198907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921001997458389,0.0,0.1446541271951112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780527325523777,0.0,0.0,0.061007221232560326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235848114106066,0.0,0.0,0.07248539973250255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967610506174662,0.0,0.07318805878897358,0.0,0.09356731174750232,0.0,0.0,0.06768270459907096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325850039133234,0.05060216554793895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417313820180862,0.0,0.11101988624227943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527243942473648,0.07540163928228732,0.0,0.13986323714137808,0.0,0.07529076241561389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376029368581268,0.03892723830649773,0.05773727206912905,0.0,0.07500052065165519,0.0,0.0,0.05003050953774301,0.06920956091335508,0.0,0.0,0.06268380686985242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060218560422811,0.0,0.0,0.0945613913448338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135546460559254,0.0713816725269241,0.0,0.0,0.08295720623504699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753302940615628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959947575008156,0.10774136717873878,0.0,0.0,0.07865019703720671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236949797934896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985207528697738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934769094190344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075317448443737,0.0,0.0,0.07604671510614593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168544055399108,0.16933103238774488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859269672764714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452968692803538,0.14010868315625707,0.0,0.050135026883112936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14724247065294532,0.1065132148199129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100219784647268,0.16448207707219906,0.09411484015796327,0.09077215954272028,0.0,0.05623244105899938,0.20651260785417846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04809006044907428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061175828418018136,0.0,0.1168871063464824,0.12533507817482534,0.056222889755261636,0.0,0.0,0.06368618585984412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744332151698685,0.0,0.0912265577876321
mentalhealth,RadSlad,2019/01/23,"Is it possible to learn to cry instead of yell? I have Asperger’s. When anything gets me even mildly upset, I scream. At the top of my lungs, sometimes slamming items on the floor including my phone.

When I was a kid I would scream involuntary every time I cried, and my parents actually thought that I was faking it for attention (because their sons didn’t make the kinds of wailing noises I did). So I stopped crying and just got mad instead. I now often find it irritating when others cry because I associate it with being a “drama queen.” 

Then I get even angrier when people comfort upset crying people while asking me “WTF is your problem!?” when I’m distressed because I scream instead of cry. In the moment I never understand why people don’t come to comfort ME as well. I guess me screaming scares them and makes me feel worse.

I’m so tired of feeling unstable when I’m sad. How do I teach myself to cry instead of yell?

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mentalhealth,dude0246,2019/01/23,"Cost of going into the hospital for depression If someone had to be checked into a hospital for severe depression, how much might it cost money wise? Its come up and is really important. Please answer fast, if possible. ",4.700384615384618,7.699315384615389,6.366346153846155,66.78490384615384,74.64102564102564,11.079487179487181,30.262820512820515,10.686352973137794,4.792635897435896,176,8,25,7,4,60,33,39,0.201,0.643,0.156,-0.4988,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,9,6,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,3,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,20,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648482427266315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5296270494868557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747357306217773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261648433211381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22601734785505845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33749706571296856,0.0,0.34661322196947075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969657651285766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473405500407949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26050855902666725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,madlatina99,2019/01/23,"a safe space i don’t feel comfortable with anybody at the moment to vent about my mental health and i just simply feel numb. i feel alone. i feel like i have nobody in my corner. i feel like i’m in a never ending fight with the words other people feed into my head and i just never seem to be enough. why aren’t i enough? when does the pain end? 

really does feel like it’s me against the world",-0.3418181818181836,1.8841249047619044,1.4358008658008643,98.3698051948052,91.61904761904762,4.006926406926406,11.207792207792208,5.565023196281405,-1.3992714285714285,308,3,70,2,11,100,54,84,0.091,0.718,0.191,0.8198,1,1,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,1,0,6,0,4,5,1,0,2,18,12,3,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,1,1,7,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,6,12,5,10,11,2,13,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,9,43,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708831610219704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887732635162521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922699456717701,0.3409640926236148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5005530144342633,0.3536134530618745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933058922340746,0.175380020421088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418219808822435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627430489224498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25450580281841834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17556436189892238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438548698263468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569884726694208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020358195163894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488806696019261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,queer_artsy_kid,2019/01/23,"I'm thinking about taking a semester off from school I've been working through a lot of traumatic memories that I've spent years repressing, so I've just been a complete mess mentally and emotionally. The amount of stress I've experienced from confronting my past trauma has been draining, and has made it so much harder to manage the symptoms of my borderline personality disorder. The emotional agony from the borderline is making it almost impossible for me to function. The intensity of the emotional pain makes my entire body ache, but then I'll go to feeling like I'm on top of the world, and then back to the emotional agony within a few hours. This has been driving me insane, because of how exhausted I am from going from one extreme to the other multiple times a day. 

I'm going through so much stuff right now, that I don't even give a shit about school. Honestly it feels like just another thing thats stressing me out that I wish I could avoid. I don't know what I'll do if I take a semester off but I feel like I'm going to flunk this semester considering I'm 3 weeks in and haven't done any of the homework because I have zero motivation, and I  can't even think straight for enough time to actually get anything done. I feel completely lost right now, just being alive is painful. 
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mentalhealth,Uncle_Banjo,2019/01/23,"I feel trapped and my brain isn't helping. Spent 2 years taking a program at community college, graduated but don't have the skills to pursue work in that line. 1.5 years later, working reception and quickly starting to hate job. I feel like I've wasted time. Anxiety and stress is getting to me. I need to go back to back to college. My mind is telling me it's too late, and I'll just fuck it up. I feel like I'm fighting with my brain.
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mentalhealth,181cmViking,2019/01/23,"My Diagnosed PTSD & Grief If you’re reading this, thank you. I’ll try to summarize this in the briefest way possible, although it is long so I apologize. If you’re able to get through all of this (I understand if you don’t) please leave a comment with your thoughts.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD by my psychiatrist of over a year. The reason for this diagnosis stems from my early childhood and young adult experiences with my mother. My mother left my father almost sporadically days before my eighth birthday around 2am. She grabbed my dog and I and left in the middle of the night for her mother’s house (my grandma). Shortly after arriving, a man entered my grandmother’s house and introduced himself to eight year old me. This man would turn out to be my mother’s future husband (keep in mind that he arrived at my grandmothers house at 3am the night of my mother leaving with me). Flashing forward an unknown amount later, my dog was put on antidepressant medication, which seemed to stem from the dramatic way my mother dragged us out of the house (with a police officer outside and in a hurry). In my later elementary, middle, and high school years my mother took her husband to every school event that I was in, which i did not want to happen. I did not want this to happen because I already have a dad. Also, my dad lost tens of thousands of dollars in divorce court with my mother, just to get half custody with me, and had his name besmirched around town which made finding clients for work nearly impossible, reducing him to half of what he earned prior. Additionally, my family found a hidden journal from my mother detailing her plans to take the house my dad made for us and move in with her new husband, which I think hurt my dad deeply causing even greater anger towards my mother and her husband. With this in mind, I did not want my mother’s husband to attend my school functions, mainly choir, because of what seemed like too many shady things piling up to give any glimpse of credibility towards the accusations my mother always threw at me about my dad. In high school, my mother would take me to school and pick me up on assigned custody dates. In the morning she would be almost to happy, but depressive level sad or angry when picking me up. During my sophomore year, I reached a breaking point. My mother leaned over to me in the car and told me “I don’t care what you think, I’m taking my husband to you’re school events and graduation.” When at home I grabbed all my things and threw them in a big plastic bag to take to my dads. He told me that I should give my mother another chance so I don’t regret it for the rest of my life. So I did. She seemed to change for a while, but ultimately reverted back to her old attitudes. I left a second time for a separate reason involving nasty communication between the three, but my mother called me and said that if I didn’t come back she would call the cops and get me back. To save my dad the possibilities of court for this reason, I went back home to my mother’s. I actually walked out about six months after my eighteenth birthday when I became a legal adult since my dad was stuck paying for everything, while my mother and her husband barely contributed, even though they made $200,000 annually. The last straw came when she refused to help contribute to my college education, leaving my dad to accrue all the debt and hardships associated. I talked to her on and off after leaving and tried to get her to help with school, but she hung up on me on the phone, angered that I would discuss that topic. I told her that I didn’t want to see her and chose to live with my dad permanently. She called one day through a no caller ID, and her first words to me were of anger. Additionally, she did not seem to wince at all when I told her that I was having heart surgery for a condition that I had no prior idea I was born with. Instead she just replied, “oh yeah, well I may have cancer,” without acknowledging anything I said about my surgery. I ran into my mother’s husband’s daughter one day at the mall and said hello to be civil, but she acted like I was not there and shunned me. Within this whole nightmare, I felt stuck trying to keep the peace between my mother and father, since I had the naive attitude that parents deserve undying respect.

I worked through the anxiety that was caused by trying to maintain the peace, but I am still deeply affected with persistent thoughts. Of these thoughts, I feel like a terrible son because I left my mother and the idea is constantly in my mind that she is suffering and could die alone without me. It’s a double edged sword, where I’m damned if I go back and damned if I hold my ground.

I’m a pretty strong guy so I know I will ultimately be fine, but if any of you have experienced something similar or have any words of advice, it would be of great utility to me and I would appreciate it. 

Thank you.",8.49736811391223,6.9562019464285765,8.12957422969188,74.45790943043886,62.09873949579832,10.94121381886088,36.38664799253035,9.670409298094178,3.2710429225023336,3911,145,747,59,45,1248,390,952,0.101,0.8170000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.9399,2,1,1,0,1,0,93.0,2,6,2,8,31,26,5,0,43,1,48,6,1,11,4,137,109,58,2,21,25,44,4,3,0,10,5,4,2,5,36,51,0,4,21,3,3,16,14,13,1,11,43,10,149,13,137,50,10,123,0,7,1,0,114,58,2,16,51,513,185,16,0.04828968542063297,0.0,0.0471237670996709,0.0,0.0,0.04718812170922603,0.0,0.0,0.09671028903631396,0.050013550688639316,0.053288868660765126,0.038617243984297375,0.04018088667601069,0.05232185397803835,0.0,0.09851592602970724,0.05063594561876919,0.03694147717210285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03973829655332668,0.08597611606440357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18565893672037312,0.0,0.08831083207128719,0.0,0.04109096558956847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479275037749007,0.05523053560222213,0.04923455262516069,0.09921361786607756,0.051084084191244085,0.041597288128912745,0.0,0.05218399471466823,0.0,0.0385553844409104,0.0,0.0,0.09342855657092272,0.0,0.041591835293221975,0.09802602842409984,0.05011706950851731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378976357891636,0.0,0.04068614268393753,0.0,0.043399655519174164,0.047236578405525004,0.0455232177426284,0.0,0.024416715891373057,0.03449816091323557,0.046365670837730966,0.0,0.04413589763304473,0.04107518174999317,0.0,0.05294714757745046,0.0,0.0,0.10091747019606254,0.09264773291856852,0.027444141060782936,0.0,0.0,0.0532395486538132,0.0,0.04781438065995333,0.08540481867666114,0.05140526807331552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722350972922025,0.06473511646913667,0.10204140786920766,0.09687698355435886,0.0,0.0,0.2785990673906936,0.05169510699381715,0.10902635399836692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584418235775716,0.0,0.0,0.026538748222804557,0.039362538756272734,0.0,0.2045272175212378,0.20986753801292127,0.0,0.034108432908253765,0.07077570327088158,0.0,0.042640676934468096,0.04273485200947945,0.0,0.0,0.05271389602465852,0.0,0.0,0.13707860382224907,0.0,0.04895816165069217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048646777728718775,0.0,0.0,0.1462764492988008,0.0,0.03854436619227704,0.05132429340235955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04663847909132344,0.0,0.09063319706852202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134380329904544,0.0,0.06544468117580493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361998096063212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053007573471482515,0.045649361328211485,0.10887872930640413,0.0,0.04912797052806635,0.0,0.0,0.11289611620723328,0.04854447154834595,0.0,0.0,0.048302753295314194,0.0,0.0,0.14894951774448092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137803647185143,0.0,0.0,0.34210217796260817,0.03848062719359685,0.17584446389279146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989145358357544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03717575905737781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0385642051552471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452313348432594,0.038813419960331566,0.0,0.08891730882294309,0.0,0.0,0.06416304252862368,0.06188416113100921,0.04744437074564727,0.11500984864133405,0.02815810390413437,0.0,0.0,0.18457145531368208,0.05365161731027823,0.13114210632963416,0.05252531100540701,0.0,0.050271265550103465,0.11617309161775627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393003041478715,0.07666020917411588,0.0,0.0,0.043418226551227464,0.04476502217858265,0.0,0.05391370924805085,0.0,0.0930990670480948,0.0,0.07031093222719678,0.0,0.0,0.240125249168402,0.0,0.0,0.1243878966854414
mentalhealth,HowUNotAHobbit,2019/01/23,"I have been experiencing episodes of depersonalization/derealization. I really just need to talk to someone thats been through it. I have been a heavy marijuana user for years first off (huge red flag for this subject I know). But have never had an issue. I use it in place of xanax and ativan due to high anxiety (another known cause). But I've been doing great for months! Minimal panic attacks and overall good mood... But all of a sudden for a week have been having these episodes.. Tunnel vision... Feeling that Im watching myself act from ""behind my eyes"" if that makes sense... On an auto pilot of sorts... Sounds muffled..The only panic involved is when I start worrying if this is forever.. Other than that im oddly calm.. Anyone familar with this?",3.2293045563549185,6.006266079136694,4.577956834532376,78.74588009592325,78.85611510791368,6.584364508393287,24.374580335731416,7.793537801064563,1.6499262350119903,591,21,101,10,15,195,99,139,0.1,0.838,0.061,-0.6588,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,2,5,0,14,2,1,3,2,19,20,8,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,11,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,6,6,8,3,19,14,1,16,0,0,3,0,2,6,0,3,9,69,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943472701677774,0.14178613940414386,0.0,0.0,0.12959545108715245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085330668597446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903973112392513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371449514693367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576518290950507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15545609442668915,0.0,0.20434023339336752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19582402205703406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4004023768755648,0.19344891743190032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185912809062277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371723878255662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479382335666213,0.0,0.0,0.13742876073409593,0.1429471932161868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096095944065626,0.0,0.43491785691943097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19364296478428095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873484514438222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570396936474004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118603700847187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489708965239488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007599855448099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867019026159614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882238198943112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193541853880494
mentalhealth,whiteconspiracyowl,2019/01/23,"How to talk to therapist about sex? I am having trouble talking about sex with my therapist because it is an uncomfortable topic. I have trauma around the topic, so it makes bringing up the subject more complex. She wants to start talking about it and wants me to start being open to the topic with friends as practice, but I am struggling. Any suggestions? Thanks.",4.908181818181816,7.5233295151515165,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636367,72.03030303030303,6.824242424242425,32.21212121212121,7.793537801064563,2.5595030303030297,292,14,47,4,6,90,45,66,0.133,0.7859999999999999,0.081,-0.4039,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,4,0,6,2,0,2,0,11,13,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,2,13,12,1,6,0,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,2,37,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15514840370407176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20310001187086016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390768495797011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762665108872036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229050287603302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229685328080712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385097338738092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5501299487955679,0.0,0.2100479447563884,0.0,0.52979462072579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691350992449748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AYEBROWNING,2019/01/24,"Anxiety. I always feel like im in a giant fog cloud, like i'm not real. I have a hard time conveying what I seem like to other people characteristicly and it scares me. When people try to get my attention  I never think they are talking to me so I block it out. I feel like people think im meantaly insane or are afraid to talk to me. Whats wrong with me?",-0.10304093567251373,2.0485822631578934,2.7638596491228107,90.28757309941521,88.21052631578951,5.4830409356725145,16.339181286549707,6.937597516519254,-0.045325730994151485,276,6,61,4,9,97,49,76,0.173,0.684,0.14300000000000002,-0.518,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,14,10,4,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,12,4,8,10,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,7,36,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567646908313725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412621837925738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19052237192733767,0.26918736629289586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843172540176442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877025403657694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4070107321608531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681727693433197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530643455530826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918405103755795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144415381864908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18862222732216974,0.0,0.0,0.17151315772867098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028591095687439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414394551639764,0.0,0.0,0.10985811459369088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279118845703208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059868735892544,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NicholeGrant,2019/01/24,"I just want someone to care for and be there for me the way I am for everyone else. I'm the ""mom"" in every aspect of my life. At work, with friends and obviously at home. I am there for everyone to lean on and everyone's go to for questions, advice or venting. I love being that for people that need it. But I've found that I dont have that for myself. I am so mentally exhausted and I know I do it to myself but I dont know how much more I can take. I feel like I'm always taking care of everyone and no one sees that I need to be taken care of. I push myself to a point of extreme anxiety and then I breakdown. All alone I have these emotions and feelings and I dont want to burden them onto someone else so I handle it by myself. It's getting harder and harder. I know I need help but I dont know how to ask. I feel like my problems are so unimportant compared to everyone else's and I should just suck it up. ""It can always be worse"" I tell myself but I also know it can be better but I dont know how to achieve that. I'm sorry this is so long but I just have to get this out somewhere. If you've made it this far, I appreciate you taking the time to read this and any advice is welcomed.",0.6458908045977019,2.249494475095787,3.2091044061302685,91.42446120689655,81.26053639846742,6.035823754789273,20.836685823754788,6.996647511020387,0.3822272030651339,922,26,213,11,24,322,117,261,0.097,0.746,0.157,0.9431,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,3,14,13,1,0,4,0,24,3,0,4,2,48,57,28,0,8,11,1,3,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,19,13,0,0,11,1,0,2,6,4,0,1,3,4,37,9,32,48,3,15,0,0,1,1,10,9,1,3,5,154,56,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695175329724204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884740658628111,0.0,0.06831397772530205,0.14216012921502238,0.0,0.0,0.05809161989151356,0.0,0.0653495430616682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986041805277247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555106804722214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612880504407364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5005846523030314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408373757698032,0.09609111522783917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719738634421749,0.4081340673920336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957964992581045,0.12205462394721645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366360431352884,0.0659987915157263,0.0,0.08926159792592829,0.0,0.04854873749868623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725827180100744,0.0,0.08568778366625504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28168257512430395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033788239489255,0.08346823539428133,0.0,0.0,0.07559803411804182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709898700505878,0.08083076990110423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608784923189848,0.0,0.0,0.1000481945890036,0.0,0.0,0.06279686960485309,0.1900236529870992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057885882455792965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922262350794295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075380662114966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173975267057478,0.0,0.0,0.09569504065808147,0.0,0.08544766203483105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807230236388546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475987942869464,0.0,0.0,0.0956257842495773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19268587973676746,0.0,0.07466481751659661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498117391203772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077121975824456,0.06780602758792177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219008611757791,0.0,0.0870549093166794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Daysbefore_,2019/01/24,"I’m miserable in high school 18 year old male. Senior in highschool. 


I have never opened up about any issues I’ve had in part because I feel ashamed of myself and also I feel as if nobody else goes through what I go through. I guess I just need somebody to talk to. 


    I’ll try to be specific.

Throughout high school I’ve always had friends. Never been a popular kid, but people who know me know I try to be a a legitimate caring friend. I would say I’m an extrovert. I love when somebody says hi to me in the hallway or I meet somebody new, and I love hanging out with friends. 

   Gradually throughout high school I have felt like I’ve been torn down as a person. I feel defeated. I used to be such a happy kid who didn’t care what people thought but now I hate walking in the hallways and avoid school sporting events because I just feel isolated from the people at my school. Everybody seems to have their exclusive  clique, which are connected to other cliques. I feel like I am an outsider in the social aspect of my school. I’m afraid to talk to most people in my grade because I feel like they are above me in a social aspect. I’m afraid to talk to girls because I am insecure about myself. I haven’t hung out with a girl in my entire life. It’s hard for me to talk to girls because I feel like they will think I’m a loser. In class I am always anxious because it seems like everybody knows each other and they have no interest in getting to know me. 
   
    I feel depressed at school. I feel like I wasted high school being a loser and while other kids are planning their spring break vacations I’m going to be sitting at home alone. While other kids are asking dates to prom I don’t have anybody to ask. When other kids are getting invited to grad parties I won’t be. I feel sad, lonely, and honestly a little depressed right now. Have never felt quite like this in my whole life, and I am just looking for some help.

    

   ",2.9943943798449624,4.69475685271318,3.975658107235145,88.09937863372093,74.78811369509043,6.594605943152455,25.530442506459952,7.292943589461545,1.1542326227390185,1510,52,306,17,32,487,176,387,0.153,0.674,0.174,0.9214,0,4,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,5,5,11,32,1,6,16,0,31,4,0,1,3,50,72,18,0,3,7,0,13,7,3,3,2,2,1,10,13,13,0,1,20,1,0,4,8,14,0,0,8,16,47,18,51,55,5,48,0,8,1,2,35,26,0,7,23,189,60,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752945331728608,0.0,0.052141896325553695,0.10850632573268502,0.0,0.0,0.04433949423859845,0.0,0.0,0.0736595321490701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190985731696766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23847865747005714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329552642161631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231651666962653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446777961318796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32968014732904233,0.1863208602345242,0.12520800308115013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112436397698947,0.0,0.06813055160720305,0.0,0.07411142848604561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182718929900797,0.0,0.0,0.06940858233062955,0.058408051141373485,0.06437332863422343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043703426025545535,0.27555733973109275,0.06540277233245517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805379199834423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333292753943014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921079905781179,0.22298031493161746,0.06534938338870949,0.0,0.0,0.05475313295369279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769443153751626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04834634601085712,0.15086306012499773,0.06297235355661636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841837401712082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706072502683105,0.0,0.18081101396235852,0.05693174094491344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935019391102201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055682024110169835,0.0,0.10370225713105567,0.0,0.5279020297128166,0.0,0.11871463185525052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293015113975945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096271106694936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041778713095100894,0.0,0.05176298621683539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853555311889948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05631346432005147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279553764326098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046317523896015074,0.0,0.0,0.041987854025543926
mentalhealth,SwankyTheSawnkster,2019/01/24,"Need Opinions My buddy has been trying to convince me of his insanity, casually, which I understand- him going to such extents IS a kind of insanity... But how bad is my friend? I care about him deeply, but he is starting to dissociate or act like he's dissociating, I support him and everything, but I also told him that he can't lie to everyone in his life, including the state, in order to get more attention. He has always needed more attention and been just... kindof soft. He's an absolute genius when it comes to computer matters. But he couldn't keep a job at McDonalds because of notorious laziness. Has anyone ever had a family member or friend who was a compulsive liar? Because I do love him like a brother, but I think he's lying, which is kinda messed up. I get that. I'm looking for help.  
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S\_1RbHX5XuQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_1RbHX5XuQ)",5.8798901098901055,8.68170112820513,6.304432234432237,69.7096153846154,69.76923076923077,9.072527472527472,29.091575091575088,9.606745405546679,3.180072893772895,720,28,113,18,14,232,101,156,0.116,0.695,0.189,0.8933,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,0,7,13,1,0,7,0,14,2,0,1,1,25,30,12,0,3,8,1,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,4,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,5,2,17,10,15,24,3,12,0,0,1,1,21,4,0,5,5,76,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15637093131948904,0.16270251376109324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136724072003104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632652932596404,0.2383951767281533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936308376188874,0.0,0.0,0.1684378794024796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687448253874885,0.0,0.18684405840904708,0.17573611817657894,0.0,0.18433495559572385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30214292415452465,0.0,0.20432010641906245,0.0,0.11112822807042012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106438221576094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19404037890324533,0.17380234007767156,0.0,0.2036217775772753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381136215179078,0.19105907954418416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642018989714569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647984794925686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899765326681073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840215084159155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218931598721691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529226469289306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18684405840904708,0.0,0.1327568411556174,0.0,0.0,0.2035609950796972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,M4ybeanasshole,2019/01/24,I want to fuck my life up I don't know why but life's not doing it for me no more. I don't want to live a full life I'd rather just have fun. I've never touched drugs don't drink much but when I do I drink my problems away. Ever since my girl left me life's just been horrible she stopped me from killing myself and we got together shortly after but I fucked it up and now she's gone and I'm sitting here unable to love unable to live you want to see what things were like https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmVVwuHH-M_h3sg7FV1kupQ I loved that girl and now it's all gone. Now I just want to do is fuck everything up now I'm at work alone next to tears after I haven't cried in months. Now I just want to surpress everything drug myself up and just be chill until I die sooner or later. I don't know why I can't just get over her and just move on with my life because I know there's others like her out there but even when girls throw their feeling at me I feel like an asshole because I'm numb. I can't take medication because I overreact to it and end up high or it changes who I am to an aggressive asshole. I just feel hopeless nothing keeps me happy so might as well just fuck my life up until I od or commit ,1.591248378728924,3.4913424747081727,2.6360554474708167,95.2360805771725,79.50583657587548,5.528469520103762,20.046854734111548,6.42735559955562,-0.0829713359273665,964,24,221,8,24,306,130,257,0.21600000000000005,0.639,0.146,-0.9786,0,1,4,0,0,2,16.0,1,1,1,1,24,17,6,0,3,0,17,18,0,0,4,47,44,20,3,7,18,0,4,3,0,1,10,0,0,3,10,10,2,2,6,2,0,4,10,9,1,0,5,5,39,8,31,37,4,40,0,1,1,6,13,17,4,4,21,145,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037961176122273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415855790659554,0.0,0.0,0.18327675971598487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601785991634717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008529082379837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401095642001418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635190730455498,0.2324432315621825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876382398955618,0.0,0.0,0.06619335871705445,0.09065334984554983,0.0,0.0,0.18013980957451226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202041923456053,0.07159609982198531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706014674626219,0.052360017742043324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015387099710389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066844320660868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588632307319283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907878690519809,0.11087689593235517,0.0,0.16523236166320984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888766823511054,0.0,0.42472364368859694,0.146885056542511,0.0,0.17698950213348474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18090217613305007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095957181726238,0.0,0.10631596644786602,0.0,0.0,0.0799934320098398,0.10651638048097778,0.07367211170437253,0.0,0.0772946675504747,0.0,0.10658348698815384,0.0,0.0,0.09616233135854264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589554745845133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986115064784087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290175960508475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378713405774284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753518221802432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658070279913329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955572708214073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010844636250208,0.0,0.18086317457811846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296024467762109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stardropkid,2019/01/24,"i saw the sign TLDR: i'm a college sophomore in the united states, under my parents medical insurance & i want to see a therapist, but i dont know how to tell them, where to start, or if i really have a valid reason to see one. i live near my college campus but my parents are in the same state.

~ my spiel~
it s kind of stupid but, today a youtuber i like posted a video about his depression. in the video he said, ""if you were looking for a sign to get help, this is it! this is your day!"" 

it got to me, weirdly. my friends have told me before they think i need therapy (i felt kind of offended more than anything at the time) because of an array of reasons (i.e. brushing off my problems, self-esteem issues, weird angsty funks i get myself into, etc)

but most times i tell myself i dont need one, i'm not facing any incredible struggle & i'm just making up that i need help or that i'm sad or whatever. imposter syndrome? idk. i also am not a big fan of self-diagnosis so i would never label myself with [so-or-so mental health issue], but when i read about symptoms, i see myself. and then i fall into thinking that i'm just making that up, too. 

my parents are in charge of my insurance, i'm a sophomore in college, & have begun thinking maybe a therapist could help me. it surely couldn't hurt to try. 

i know this sounds like a cry for attention honestly, i do. i just dont know where else to turn to to ask. 

thank you.",2.901121725731894,3.997281911864409,4.599545454545453,85.96917950693377,73.9491525423729,7.261941448382126,25.612480739599384,7.686295010490155,1.2964237288135592,1104,36,232,14,22,374,158,295,0.121,0.748,0.131,0.4545,3,0,0,1,0,0,57.0,0,3,2,0,12,17,2,1,16,0,16,4,1,5,2,46,49,16,0,10,15,3,1,2,1,1,3,2,0,0,11,4,0,0,10,3,0,1,7,9,0,2,6,9,41,8,35,40,4,29,0,3,5,0,19,16,0,6,11,150,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290632231924238,0.0,0.2963386474716551,0.0,0.061996775841219286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502278148364311,0.0,0.08522896152405432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05557463732944238,0.0,0.07757651433903806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278953636189843,0.0,0.10014281334392,0.058795257907330915,0.0,0.07852211698404696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32054159828570555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615844026268011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167545083935504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753474339126932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043549983686366,0.0,0.09526212710503633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291468353300083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690639787838123,0.0,0.0,0.18332222006540647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759630009721752,0.0,0.0,0.19030959915611684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987307707382936,0.15030921414286524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907931108248114,0.0,0.08050224759071653,0.0,0.07655742963751651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170953672924185,0.0,0.09158963753389664,0.0,0.0,0.09184129396506548,0.0918750260614162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20279781904466845,0.07031371227766414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235544157895736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30369093270278946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731291128950744,0.0,0.0,0.08723463269053447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119180286627844,0.0,0.05840399906410841,0.1874699905978185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672081935324394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21794520165890754,0.0,0.19021440244675986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452856508424386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953076806070635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592394275161637,0.09475755715505364,0.0,0.0,0.15936818299942834,0.08393444622098206,0.10425756044549993,0.21170413332559854,0.0,0.17524865056558142,0.0,0.0,0.1063205753351168,0.0,0.08641578100198803,0.08711410126459715,0.0,0.06189649808761868,0.09916366003839587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05377273636253698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476251467933597,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SimplyMermaid88,2019/01/24,"The dentist I have to go to the dentist but I'm terrified. Does anyone take anxiety meds for something like that and if so, does it work?",1.4038095238095245,3.708555571428569,3.2214285714285715,88.59023809523809,82.57142857142857,6.590476190476192,27.190476190476193,7.793537801064563,1.8144619047619053,108,5,22,2,3,36,23,28,0.223,0.68,0.096,-0.6486,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,13,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771136596060099,0.0,0.0,0.25328759122700883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6339997349647326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058701206956692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697283781416798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40236850503345456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788711072117317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723604317471213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637160345404716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gunerfox,2019/01/24,"I think i have BPD Basically i like to be alone and i am very impulsive when it comes to things like whatever comes to my mind i do it without  rationalizing, I also feel emotions strongly and they change very frequently, I tend to be the most depressed fuck in the other day like yesterday but today i feel like i'm very confident as fuck. But i can have normal relationships with people but i tend to just cut them off because i always feel like they use me. I also tend to get addicted to things very easily, Now i don't know what is happening to me and i feel like it just gets worse and worse everyday. I do talk to myself and my brain tries to actually help me to rationalize things since i was a kid. Right now i stopped going to college, I missed the Prelims and right now is the midterms. I feel like i have no direction in life, Now i don't know if this is BPD or something but i think i need help.",2.462822580645163,4.225094569892473,4.106115591397852,86.3291733870968,76.41935483870967,7.8758064516129025,24.528225806451612,8.660442795831766,1.5953129032258064,714,24,154,15,16,239,95,186,0.149,0.677,0.174,0.6028,0,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,1,9,13,3,0,5,0,15,5,1,1,0,33,39,16,0,3,9,0,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,9,9,0,1,9,0,0,3,4,5,0,0,1,5,32,8,18,36,1,19,0,2,0,2,8,5,2,3,18,102,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.10303195680288177,0.11509902073412424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935021351776886,0.0,0.1688663898886072,0.0878519616555259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436127949300381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659514851845774,0.11786346364240492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169084051737012,0.18189759679230294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809109710612908,0.0,0.0909368762522754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876456524127565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669249692694617,0.3017087337244034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952161146741304,0.11032356992921136,0.0,0.06000419173378286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336504836338896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415376175162403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116049260438419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457507755235755,0.3610712637264932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660684783226383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828707326048917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344709460436263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319666461037032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335462558830285,0.0,0.1803314235920229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733780532796014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128151540204097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827055587459459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486211639801011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21043024251970685,0.13530425534416252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007857002655796,0.0,0.0,0.07168265965354115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118820077500317,0.0,0.34846197255231176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017764457815904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151923917752328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,walktothesunset,2019/01/24,"Is this just a phase? I don't know what to do in regards to what's going on in my head. It's been a year in which I have episodes of hopelessness and complete despair at least every week or so. Nothing is wrong, I'm extremely blessed. I'll just suddenly feel so anxious and alone and trapped. I get the urge to isolate myself and feel heaviness on my chest. I found about 2 weeks ago that inflicting pain on myself physically gives me so much relief. When I do, I feel like I can breathe again and I'm scared that it'll become a habit. I definitely don't plan to kill myself even though I fantasize about it at times. Is this normal for a teenager? I got off all social media last year when I first started feeling these things. I take care of myself so much better but now, a year later, nothing has changed. I know that it's super easy to feel overwhelmed with all of the hormones, but I don't hear any people my age really talk about this. I'm a very social person and I have a great relationship with my family, I'm very involved in school, and my life is good. It's just this pattern that I thought was going to end a long time ago hasn't. Since then, I've felt much more disconnected with my friends. I don't care about things as much as I used to and people tell me I've changed. I don't want to speak to my parents about this (even though I trust them so, so much) because I don't want them to get worried, especially if it's just a stage that I'm going through as a teen. I'm scared of speaking to a school counselor because of the self-harm part. I feel uncomfortable when I'm alone because I get scared that I'll start feeling that way again. When I'm around people I feel like I'm distracted temporarily, but even then I'm usually zoning out. Don't get me wrong, I have really good times too. A lot of things make me happy, but everything is so temporary. I've been exercising to feel better too, but it doesn't help nearly as much as self-harm. I just want to know: is this okay? Is it necessary that I speak to someone about this? Do all teenagers go through this? Thank you so much. ",3.5019079192430915,4.486836808314088,4.382592565000377,88.51963569991806,72.37182448036953,7.619429337703941,26.207926692989645,7.941651935203635,1.289736705654474,1650,53,363,22,31,533,182,433,0.096,0.722,0.182,0.9924,1,3,0,0,0,2,47.0,0,1,2,5,34,28,1,5,15,1,28,6,3,2,3,50,75,36,1,5,12,1,10,2,1,1,3,4,0,1,31,13,0,0,15,1,0,4,9,11,0,1,7,14,45,17,50,67,14,48,1,3,0,0,18,13,0,3,31,227,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854004298668995,0.0,0.0,0.15018362148531966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049304899510237886,0.0,0.0,0.08190837295161349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454353017335028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259247138256575,0.08007447345461871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282469941418732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147844400440375,0.0,0.15339828223483265,0.0,0.07601859159255123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421662413925706,0.0,0.0,0.14366373076992156,0.0,0.0610873670076195,0.0,0.06516151470290905,0.0,0.06834989326008495,0.0,0.32993975534312275,0.1035930996538886,0.0696147770267034,0.0,0.0,0.06167148166289806,0.0,0.07949639908595259,0.05601606203368074,0.0,0.15152044732373138,0.06955201070774965,0.16482175075798358,0.12162507383331447,0.057987711387165235,0.07993541863135288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771813760108405,0.0,0.0,0.0744095584542258,0.0,0.08171676901702236,0.0,0.04859760052397815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021443457250464,0.0,0.11953816304507757,0.0591000692799854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051211400778571364,0.07084314340170653,0.0,0.0,0.06416335923016853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616399245303451,0.0,0.0,0.048396681895537565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730891556897306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103808396905015,0.1391382212179771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714888791865646,0.0,0.08050661084607658,0.07851427804836658,0.0,0.15079449529440725,0.06330730231442941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289525998019252,0.0,0.0,0.07784167783173779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177661024105756,0.1467549245497651,0.0,0.0,0.15127402789552866,0.0,0.0,0.059975684887901476,0.0,0.0,0.14781647504948506,0.061432021707046765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026367701819481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545136456010068,0.058275606226826926,0.0633712974690837,0.06675152667570716,0.0,0.0,0.1445044087019927,0.0,0.14246873736345228,0.05755971910814405,0.12683220727947891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261978732622707,0.07985241589819668,0.11964604207041706,0.1282934149447823,0.057549942360951366,0.11631594717508335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736308733223385,0.0,0.0,0.15854249786675614,0.0,0.14006972512405133
mentalhealth,incel_boi,2019/01/24,"People don't like me because I'm fat Over the past 2 years I've been gaining a lot of weight (like 40kg) because of problems I'd rather not discuss. I knew it was unhealthy but didn't really think much of the social aspect of it, thinking personality is more important yada yada yada. Anyway, there's this girl that I kind of know through mutual friends and we followed each other on Instagram a couple years ago. I haven't posted for a long time and she hasn't seen me for a while. I was walking out one day and she saw me and I didn't think much of it. Then I was on Instagram and saw I had one less follower. It was her. Right after seeing what I looked like now, she unfollowed me. I don't know if it's a big deal but it hurt, because it made me realise people actually don't like me now, just because I'm fat. I know this isn't really mental health but it just made me really sad.",2.7213069908814598,3.763846936170218,4.6482066869300915,85.65500000000003,74.31914893617021,7.711854103343465,24.598784194528875,8.192908349453996,1.3247784194528878,696,21,151,11,14,239,102,188,0.114,0.836,0.049,-0.8869,3,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,7,0,15,4,2,2,0,27,33,11,0,3,8,0,1,4,1,0,3,0,0,2,13,8,3,0,7,0,0,3,9,3,0,2,14,6,22,6,14,19,6,22,0,2,5,0,11,6,0,2,16,98,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.13747120952791667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487494481116823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434982004891927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587270851123555,0.0,0.09085108899921987,0.14523333078131145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883772079832238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974084801394993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080689262562666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669699936497227,0.2322594759771192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752926922065467,0.0,0.0,0.12466770286666425,0.11829739508094407,0.0,0.0,0.1197647362649234,0.0,0.266593874353398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419663161043916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071149487466928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091766282983802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13447871257529914,0.19532646626615205,0.1230044070154374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491688542036254,0.0,0.0,0.1347959284552067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707395343981685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203043195836551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122571196930804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360174257835914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27079617159977865,0.0,0.0,0.08214387006723703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715447170783451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18143450386525428
mentalhealth,Bipolarbear2019,2019/01/24,"I lied to my psychiatrist Hi all,

This is my first Reddit post, I never really talk about anything to anyone but I need to get this off my chest, sorry to seem like a pain.

I have severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anxiety and bipolar, having  been diagnosed in 2017 (although I can’t remember a day I never was like this, I just never had a crisis enough to attend a psychiatrist unit, more of that some other time maybe).

I was offered to be put on a mood stabiliser for my bipolar, and an anti-depressive for my OCD (I could react badly without the mood stabiliser), but I was too scared to actually take more medication than I already am for my other conditions, specially as I know people who medication made them worse, and pressure from my family not to take meds.

I convinced my psychiatrist that I was getting better and, in our last appointment, totally fine and happy in life for a year and that I had no manic or depressive episodes, even though it was not true. 

She referred me to get CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therspy) for my OCD and as I was ‘fine’ as far as she was aware, she didn’t continue with medication for my bipolar and discharged me. 

Don’t get me wrong, she was an amazing professional and I couldn’t have had a better psychiatrist. 

I got offered an appointment for my CBT but as I was abroad I couldn’t open the letter (I was unaware) and as I had missed my appointment as I was in another country, I got discharged from the CBT sevice automstically.

In the past weeks since I got discharged, my life and disorders have had a turn for the worst with me contemplating suicide every minute of the day, even though I know I won’t do anything as my girlfriend and my family love me so much and I couldn’t hurt them like that. But I feel sometimes that it’s the best way out. I’ve had a business failure, I’m tens of thousands of pounds in debt, I’m just 18 with no future right now and my mother is moving to another country whilst my girlfriend is here, and I don’t know what to do as I’ve never been away from my mum, and my girl is two hours away by car, longer by train, and my heart is split in three places, I feel like death is an option to get out of everything.

I’d like to go see my psychiatrist again and sort everything out but I’m too embarrassed to go back, and my family thinks I’m well so it’d be out of the blue and bizarre, so I’m terrified of going back if I had to...

I don’t know why the heck I wrote this, sorry for wasting your time, I just don’t know what to do. I’ve had so many business failures ever since I was 15, some were successful but they weren’t what I wanted to do (yes, I know I’m still young), and I know my mental health affected my decisions and that’s why I stopped doing a few businesses. I still have my ambition but I want stability and I know life’s not easy. I’m very grateful for each opportunity I’ve had but I’m just scared I’m a failure already...

Sorry,

Thanks for taking your time,

Bipolarbear2019.

TL;DR - I basically lied to my psychiatrist that I was ok when I wasn’t and now I’m too scared to go back because I’m feeling suicidal.",4.795000000000002,5.253565028662422,6.034592356687899,79.76096496815289,69.09554140127389,9.592101910828026,29.871974522292994,9.642632912329526,2.5816642038216564,2450,89,501,52,40,825,255,628,0.193,0.688,0.119,-0.9942,2,0,0,0,0,1,71.0,1,2,3,6,28,36,0,6,24,2,58,15,2,3,8,91,107,51,3,8,18,2,3,5,2,1,12,0,0,1,20,33,0,1,16,0,1,8,22,13,1,5,33,5,87,21,72,66,12,59,0,3,2,1,23,19,1,7,35,348,107,2,0.0,0.0,0.06742707072399867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524968200607366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490494697471434,0.05285773500798405,0.0,0.0,0.048313058248094606,0.0,0.11371913143043705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983466587396345,0.15939012129878405,0.05769171081275418,0.04211986920295425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725112814377586,0.12221840114908665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551669952020109,0.0,0.0,0.08912153787457157,0.0,0.11902340548986234,0.07013030110012833,0.0,0.0,0.15837845869020598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139394175198611,0.0,0.09127362189031757,0.06250067784188118,0.05821579192584787,0.0,0.12419684682250165,0.0,0.19541077111835767,0.0,0.104810018208427,0.049361714457689575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587724487093739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049727926580755,0.0,0.15707386350084307,0.0,0.1657855317262371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355325898785715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734451001339142,0.0,0.0818782935885978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680449775820408,0.0,0.07396797518297578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037838718726599,0.05632191244349555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641221571645008,0.16878242988981396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236122907013592,0.06537966779495387,0.0,0.07005181527945448,0.06941554166886046,0.0,0.07674933038254235,0.2088188142177541,0.06963183687165038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734373963308278,0.05079301457046055,0.05123330847349514,0.2131622989640543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352229808534487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595930664191632,0.047901998900075314,0.0,0.07218990912470508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617422227054058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945988654570706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044264234904983615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827153464448143,0.05900703058353735,0.0,0.0,0.20752942428924254,0.0,0.05506002874936969,0.0629017894422838,0.0,0.07805805079372816,0.0,0.11431273479535592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833704384103928,0.23203968047756604,0.0,0.0,0.11035923265293447,0.05776678613597384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511581432946497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585325763173505,0.05553620548141227,0.0,0.06361369261832725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044273494736215904,0.13577161329042867,0.0,0.12087012012741005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515587309628177,0.06749609322671901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701087991772383,0.08150842654532622,0.054844653386547065,0.05542410247897864,0.0,0.062124995783723234,0.0,0.12469556863619645,0.0,0.0,0.06660542826418074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041403982676381,0.0,0.07554489184370992,0.0,0.04449512434606098
mentalhealth,surpriseitsjenna,2019/01/24,"Something inbetween inpatient and therapy? Correct diagnosis? First question...  
Is there something inbetween emergency inpatient treatment and weekly therapy? Maybe something to keep someone safe from self-harming while they are attending therapy and allowing their meds to regulate?   


I wonder sometimes if my family just doesn't know all the right options. We are doing our best.   


Second question...  
Where and how should someone get diagnosed? With the irregularity of visits my loved one has had, I am not so sure they have really had someone who fully understands them and has a good grasp on their actual issues (not just emergency issues or situational). I worry they have been misdiagnosed multiple times. That's important for meds, right? ",7.3554999999999975,10.933715550000002,7.485000000000002,59.21000000000001,68.5,11.666666666666668,37.5,11.038039088145766,6.02875,606,33,75,23,12,195,89,120,0.081,0.792,0.127,0.7956,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,2,0,6,2,6,5,0,0,3,0,14,2,0,2,3,28,20,10,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,2,6,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,3,0,13,5,7,16,2,10,0,0,0,1,13,4,0,6,4,60,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.12732006786280636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692039672410936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242447876546076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229956671347108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097786212263068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816528020101323,0.0,0.0,0.10943219062181736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723539258600784,0.0,0.11596788410718012,0.0,0.0,0.07170299474519314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775442462446717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310748247123118,0.0,0.2898458986222067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840996551633283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29231290552152145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358253341698035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22284162896623405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610884445982724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665394043520505,0.0,0.0,0.3316408614366369,0.3013269390810059,0.12903833676832036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296659357987608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476120387069871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607820682882924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582405090515426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104655302582307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148933664848715,0.0,0.13249879340018078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_intotherosegarden,2019/01/24,Odd thoughts I frequently have pop-in thoughts of suicide but they are less likely when I'm in a bad spot - i.e. it can be on the daily and its just like a jump in thought and then its off again and my day continues. I wirte this as I have had about 3 of them today (currently 2am) which is quite a quiet day. I know this wont be a normal thing but it seems to be becoming a 'normal' thought pattern?,0.8681395348837206,2.5733322674418635,2.5978488372093054,95.58421511627908,80.97674418604652,6.16046511627907,22.377906976744185,7.1686216300943375,0.5168186046511631,309,10,74,4,8,102,62,86,0.114,0.846,0.04,-0.7096,1,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,2,1,4,3,0,0,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,14,17,8,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,1,7,2,9,8,1,14,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,11,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313327567857809,0.0,0.2290079835523475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26745443267953634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395722213529773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026069572362429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4063289501215235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22054821842581132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876876242295806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22681338554020625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775785558770082,0.0,0.0,0.6584687797799199,0.0,0.0,0.1965488757517977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,picklenerd,2019/01/24,"Activity Sheets/ Helpful resources When seeing a psychologist I have been given activity sheets to work on for certain things.

I found these to be really helpful and was hoping to find more of them, as I know a lot of psychologists have different ones relating to different anxieties/mental health disorders. 

I was hoping if anyone had any they were willing to share that they found helpful or if anyone knows of anywhere I could find some online. 
I'm not looking for anything specific and kind of want to browse a few to see what could work for me.

Thanks in advance! ",6.831263736263736,8.214777730769228,7.110054945054944,70.54923076923076,64.96153846153845,10.173626373626377,35.049450549450555,10.290406445055957,3.94796043956044,460,21,74,11,7,149,71,104,0.0,0.7859999999999999,0.214,0.9642,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,3,3,1,6,0,0,3,0,11,1,0,0,1,20,24,7,0,7,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,8,3,9,6,17,12,4,4,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,7,1,56,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822652706409867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22256084749112426,0.0,0.13096576363032647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25413446490282066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325528943458108,0.18239812003528266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909179324918862,0.0,0.0,0.34899652053393776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916755347938553,0.0,0.0,0.3200219195619572,0.0,0.0,0.31614100220346714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572880956990055,0.1749278518835556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364476810604992,0.0,0.0,0.13530247554864566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078432317076136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019546887656184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25364170900583943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652267786973672,0.0,0.0,0.10573127927526683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093869986435351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23172419880499595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bygles,2019/01/24,"Need help looking for an inpatient mental hospital near Cochrane Alberta, Canada Hello. I am from the US and my friend in Alberta desperately needs medical care for mental health issues. She is not currently in any state to be looking for this information herself, but i need help in order to do it for her. I cant easily make calls to Canada to find out what place would be suitable for her. I wanted to know if anyone could steer me in the direction of other resources, or if i happen to reach anyone who is from the area who has been to an inpatient ward, please let me know if the experience you had was helpful or harmful. I want to be sure that I am giving her the information about someplace that will have a positive impact on her, while also keeping her safe and observed. ",10.6008,7.397486946666671,10.444000000000004,64.71200000000003,59.53333333333333,13.733333333333334,41.0,11.855464076750405,4.766399999999999,622,24,111,14,6,207,99,150,0.026,0.77,0.204,0.9804,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,8,0,18,2,0,1,1,26,32,10,0,10,7,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,8,3,0,2,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,19,4,24,22,0,13,0,0,2,0,20,9,0,5,2,88,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806295176694346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889988497149276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239455644417635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16351963377321374,0.0,0.1632721936517995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785781243270425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664648840403916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636397491415126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237228505203053,0.0,0.0,0.1536197424768552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416102244285106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022007094344854,0.0,0.0,0.3220130144988653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714331653431694,0.0,0.14233873589249835,0.0,0.0,0.17601620845827493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637527871381667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689525436803661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689390189978176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132300773259026,0.32276451909259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562227045966921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731097690932534,0.17578432908162608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092893710977415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926272759717256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890804320147744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137580189187076,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_blue_morpho_,2019/01/24,"I brushed, flossed, used mouthwash, got lunch with my mom AND played video games! Usually I just spend the day getting smelly and sleeping but I’ve actually been regularly taking care of my teeth! I did need to take a long nap today but I was able to do two things I rarely have the motivation to do.

I’m proud of myself.

And mom and I ate at our favorite restaurant :)",2.4307240704501005,4.639825849315071,3.348375733855189,89.63082191780823,78.17808219178082,6.36320939334638,25.497064579256357,7.447530270364453,1.150848923679061,289,11,61,4,7,92,55,73,0.032,0.735,0.233,0.953,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,3,0,6,4,2,2,0,11,15,6,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,10,3,7,10,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,35,11,1,0.2315224504037257,0.0,0.2259325140790546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23605256834905625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931282713596386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096092459920135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18516965356621048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489008302066453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5423125914465119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167096336404564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316896531485327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481521387582759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381322845849568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194562117731664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261637925166345,0.0,0.0,0.1999610615457691,0.2549892698742852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hyperion6019,2019/01/24,"Need Some Advice   I’m 17, male and I believe I’m suffering from depression and anxiety for what’s been 2 years, I’ve been contemplating posting my ‘story’ here before, but I really couldn’t bring myself to do it. However, I recently had an episode, one of my worst I’d say and I’m at my breaking point I am feeling completely hopeless at this point. I’ve been told I need to go to my GP and get help for this, but the issue is the thought of going is scaring the living shit out of me – I feel as I’m going to go there and just freeze up, or that they are just going to dismiss my mental state as nothing and send me on my way. I really don’t know what to do I’m in serious need of advice, is it just that I’m going to try my absolute hardest and bite the bullet and go but even that seems like that’s too big of a reach.",2.8422439478584707,3.2057738156424627,4.993980446927377,85.82642690875238,73.41340782122904,8.424767225325885,26.089851024208564,8.59863814320734,1.590183985102421,639,20,146,11,12,224,100,179,0.14400000000000002,0.795,0.061,-0.952,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,0,7,8,1,1,6,0,13,1,1,0,0,26,37,14,0,4,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,10,9,0,0,5,0,0,9,2,7,0,1,6,4,18,1,23,30,2,24,0,3,0,0,6,9,1,3,3,92,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27729300863069645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085401683440157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073205144806712,0.15985364530178295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487617106199845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220368945809296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371243663625292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348069736956734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412805362994973,0.0,0.5644479710006438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951012381908169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808907381402614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797523056056731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931690641297926,0.0,0.12528535962998955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429847740356331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31561351951766903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614064248880572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614364740951084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682507437522066,0.0,0.13588477115400188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817878691729896,0.0,0.14009242523669235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128311205004981,0.14204971543135966,0.0,0.0,0.12916502786534562,0.0,0.0,0.14564094336966485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263931753995217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557536382421442,0.0,0.09632929830941188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262018530392658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136805211725177
mentalhealth,almostisenough,2019/01/24,Advice for my kid brother in danget? My 10 year old brother is self harming and suicidal. He was going to therapy but we ran out of money and can no longer afford it. We live in Canada but these kinds of things aren't covered and we don't have insurance to cover it either. He's only ten guys. I do all that I can but I'm not licensed or trained and he needs help. Are there any free resources? Anything at all? What can I do for him?,0.05594861660079431,2.2636477173913083,2.2935573122529647,93.5154743083004,88.13043478260867,4.649802371541502,20.3201581027668,6.11248444174946,0.11046521739130456,338,11,73,3,11,114,66,92,0.081,0.826,0.093,0.4784,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,11,0,0,0,2,17,15,8,1,1,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,1,2,0,9,3,10,13,3,8,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,1,2,51,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776226729584744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932001368330176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337929908702872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146257834319186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813071528141557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042860170598905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29585009844318755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508686143570592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065916120763714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29811885428529306,0.0,0.0,0.2160735301706404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29638193342863617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107631404736255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248971365145597,0.0,0.18874575557075016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18295335304023694
mentalhealth,CloudyDad,2019/01/24,"Problems remembering things sometimes So I’ve noticed that I have troubles remembering things, peoples names, something someone told me 5 minutes prior sometimes. Anything along those lines pretty much. But what doesn’t make sense is that this walking dead episode, the mid season finale at the end it played a song. It took me less than 10 seconds to recognize the song and remember that it was the same song used at the end of the first episode of the walking dead that was aired 7-8 years ago. I can recite lines from songs I haven’t heard for months or even years. Just hearing the best of some songs that I’ve listened to in the past I can immediately recognize. But it’s hard to even remember some of the things that are happening today, last week, last month. It’s like my thoughts just completely toss it out the window. I overthink a lot, run scenarios in my head all the time, think about my future, what I’ll do later, and think of a specific person. And it just kind of throws away mostly small stuff that I should be remembering. I joke around and just say it’s Alzheimer’s or whatever, but my family has no history of that. And I’m only 19 so wth. What could it be? I started smoking weed my 6th year and used it somewhat regularly for awhile. Could that be something that can cause issues with me that at just now taking affect now? I never used to have this issue. And it seems like a lot of my issues only started showing a year and half ago. I don’t know what to think of it, any ideas?",4.306138674884437,5.751271362711865,4.599545454545453,85.96917950693377,70.96610169491525,7.533127889060093,27.30739599383667,8.00094639256281,1.5809322033898296,1192,41,238,16,22,374,157,295,0.069,0.8859999999999999,0.045,-0.8289,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,13,8,0,0,17,0,20,1,1,6,2,54,40,15,2,4,10,0,1,2,0,1,0,9,1,1,34,12,0,0,12,8,0,5,5,2,0,3,6,10,19,6,29,28,11,43,0,0,0,0,7,11,0,9,29,159,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903048027601832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100030517249686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381694456357671,0.0798536266495603,0.0,0.0,0.08427780104099263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413651291206253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214846590296323,0.0,0.0,0.09405063861789537,0.0,0.0,0.14323918852851866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588983532490039,0.0,0.0,0.11849439584078852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456288094669015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826394563358,0.0,0.07630031171842612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932301221388982,0.0,0.0803552003769362,0.0,0.09205993356737333,0.0,0.10110045649142324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012624222362723,0.0,0.2808761456122449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341062892696404,0.04929776755077051,0.14623789106582533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764754435785291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252253810516225,0.0,0.0,0.059876653117425675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319825403866376,0.0,0.06594114980658572,0.0,0.0691835639603851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212610248957536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644453359264122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563052532311416,0.06218793887736225,0.07832415843431212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125898670882296,0.0,0.0858325153772806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5080733084293796,0.0,0.0,0.0713344777686293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166115667267708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600405048417518,0.1381136678450608,0.17743476276684114,0.0,0.1269828022206642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268710872994316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744459578578528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878168533255845,0.1724318889251207,0.0,0.0712132154434452,0.052305845373055264,0.0,0.08502682504557248,0.08571392124612963,0.09966200879860053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324206828132894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195337932526165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310600924145671
mentalhealth,PM_FOR_MOM_ADVICE,2019/01/24,"I’m kind of sick of ‘have a good day!’ Or ‘have a great day for your birthday!’ Or ‘have a brilliant week!’ I would much more appreciate ‘I hope your day is bearable’. Because right now I just can’t feel like I’ll have a ‘good day’, and even those that are slightly better than usual are just bearable. Not ‘good’ or happy. I guess just... successful? In that I’ve kept the suicidal thoughts at bay long enough to cope with the day and feel and notice things.

Times are hard. I hope they get better and more bearable soon. ",1.0614724919093843,3.472335203883496,1.7341990291262128,97.91709142394824,85.31067961165049,4.598381877022653,19.26294498381877,5.985473137389443,-0.2849152103559871,398,11,88,3,12,122,65,103,0.102,0.631,0.266,0.9639,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,1,3,6,12,0,0,6,0,10,1,0,0,0,20,19,7,1,3,7,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,7,12,8,16,4,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,6,10,53,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463618145767784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27460395788220965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5006023398034262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041004291974276,0.0,0.10253815131631183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15699352173454392,0.11090737589831696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811093367403811,0.0,0.0,0.3906375374622441,0.0,0.17115864958876148,0.1710203586067077,0.0,0.0,0.16526166144623736,0.13906942411645468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30838750895210915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166423965457902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584508197285618,0.0,0.0,0.13738733226083027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412326378581042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674796645220925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257876055300566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981331789884568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313817444354806,0.0,0.0,0.12324754110181392,0.09052486659025202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17098092316957916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452853056252293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028190889519676,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nasty_Nate221,2019/01/24,"What am I experiencing here? Any thoughts on my OCD? Hi guys, I am a 23 y/o dude and I have recently self-diagnosed myself with OCD. I am seeing a therapist and we talk about these things, but I was seeking different opinions on what's going on with me lately. I've been kind of experiencing relationship OCD with my gf for a while now. We recently got back together after I ruined our relationship by cheating, which I believe was also fueled by my OCD. 

We've made much progress in the 3 months since we started back together but there's been many speedbumps such as cheating OCD and such. However, I've been experiencing this specific thought and obsession lately: I feel so guilty for ruining us that I've been confessing every little minor thing I did with other women during the time we were apart (i.e. texting, nudes I had of others, interactions w/ the women I had sex with). When I have nothing left to confess, I start searching my memory for more to confess.

She understandably gets mad when I confess these things, but it's mostly because she doesn't want me to tell her about anything unless its another instance of me having sex with someone during our time apart (which I've already told her all about). I feel so undeserving all the time and I believe this is what it stems from; my guilt. The worst part is that I feel like every little bad thing I did matters so that's why I haven't stopped myself. Even after she tells me these things don't matter and that she'd rather not hear about it.

 Is this a specific form of OCD? I know about scrupulosity but that's more religious. Help me out guys.

Tl;dr - Obsessively confessing to my gf minor things I did with other women during our breakup (I.e. texting, nude pictures, interactions with women I had sex with). Then obsessively searching my memory for more things once I've confessed. Even after she tells me these things don't matter to her, I still search for more out of guilt. Is there a specific title for this behavior? How can I alleviate it?",4.948069685783743,6.645068814621414,5.704814981543173,77.68483028720628,69.73107049608356,8.72923381651211,28.87269289637166,9.223106411051027,2.5477622940487983,1608,60,291,33,29,524,178,383,0.149,0.8140000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.9924,2,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,8,0,0,1,24,14,3,5,10,0,29,5,2,2,2,52,46,21,0,2,7,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,34,21,0,1,13,0,0,1,5,12,0,0,18,8,55,2,44,27,11,34,6,2,1,5,42,11,0,2,23,214,89,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544493842805013,0.0764135741013264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497920995167218,0.1001954873916918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863184823787109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469484764311445,0.07978263273997288,0.05824812626170355,0.0,0.0,0.2153106659105924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698412437057252,0.0,0.0998323836490403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622350336874524,0.0,0.16101478293688573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449431655326153,0.06826297019991681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04992241671933447,0.0,0.05430488274740995,0.0,0.07642233754195517,0.0,0.0,0.1892246749226348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769499873794136,0.0,0.06404705655954866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995035820164978,0.052513343642656564,0.0,0.21557553800164247,0.0,0.10381844360730524,0.0,0.0,0.0466822925760152,0.19153810282891026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041441050822636,0.0,0.09687558528726398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762693677316758,0.0,0.07024233412636573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168553002473727,0.0,0.0,0.10176065938946258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347441751604053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18869380995220686,0.20517598766299605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761432446789594,0.0,0.09968245464953834,0.0,0.0,0.07904229922458428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096161387427628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352655883018177,0.0,0.07630862392685178,0.07988645540107768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680175580294353,0.25055218958301,0.0,0.0,0.11094421556882623,0.5078485048618364,0.0,0.0,0.15171656812365025,0.16715289367410574,0.0,0.0,0.09130483640505653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994738795146098,0.11493830513284772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635954254663201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622157859985295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Grayhound18,2019/01/24,"Unsure about my mental health In my life I worry a lot about silly stuff and feel shitty a lot, the thing is I feel that is a common emotion that people feel im so confused that what im feeling is some edgy teenage bs or if im actually mentally unwell. I dont want to go to therapy because I feel Im wasting the time of people who actually need help. Is this a mental illness to feel like your pathetic and weak but not feel like thats different from anyone else. Im so confused as to what I am meant to feel or do.",3.6437500000000007,3.664450875000004,5.821428571428572,81.82357142857144,71.5,8.542857142857143,28.5,8.418075326091056,1.8887714285714283,406,14,88,6,7,144,66,112,0.188,0.73,0.08199999999999999,-0.8655,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,2,6,0,7,4,0,0,0,23,19,9,0,3,5,0,8,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,9,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,8,8,3,11,18,3,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,8,4,54,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.21771957290449115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800055893382554,0.1142993888932208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800176720710134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654930292745733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073946554434762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318834587976732,0.1254822834724366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4512370111970246,0.15938719084435238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339822809418391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857578611517572,0.0,0.0,0.0747717276070728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6024827440456064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879329160505891,0.10899847243790596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967700450269914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33725802459163684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271525011810503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546738220986343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770167233585628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275707534170303,0.0,0.07411095862751074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504754111488717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579694040174787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113287642685411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,prisn-_-,2019/01/24,"Evil person with anxiety of their evil advice Same bullshit really, I feel that dreading feeling inside where I doubt myself and everything around me. I know I can't trust my own thoughts because I'm a stupid animal. I'm a good person, I know I would never do anything wrong but my mind is creative and I think alot and so evil things come into my mind which I can't share. Then because I can't share them these things grow inside and I think about them more and more of my conscious life is spent on negativity. Basically I'm a super negative pretentious guy, with lots of deep seated issues, I feel I'm truly a pussy, Tully a failure, unfunny a loser and I'm stupid. I know this sounds stupid which only reinforces my belief that I'm stupid and evil and then makes me hold myself back even more. I never feel like I'm really communicating what I think anymore, always holding a bit back, always letting myself and everyone around me down .
I don't even want to share this because who would waste their time on a loser like me",6.129785478547852,6.339346054455447,6.630445544554457,77.50758250825083,66.17821782178217,9.307590759075909,28.71452145214521,9.075114841892004,2.232850165016502,821,24,154,13,12,268,103,202,0.353,0.5720000000000001,0.075,-0.9967,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,4,3,9,21,8,2,9,0,10,1,0,1,2,43,32,13,0,3,1,0,4,2,0,2,1,1,0,3,11,15,0,2,13,0,1,2,8,13,0,0,2,5,31,8,13,27,8,17,1,2,0,0,11,8,0,3,9,102,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089896714369284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22292205641146448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247496682295648,0.0,0.13284705210685605,0.0,0.0,0.1102332914824032,0.23849613810028625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20600576736192933,0.0,0.2449725966412321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624382127306526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539009934757967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769516112184636,0.0,0.0,0.1279994413299859,0.12038983278160965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709260530365066,0.09569725321397027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235483373585516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263619776117402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398138878671766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22085397378546825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697774038229416,0.09461615501655853,0.13088698485203082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388348230873754,0.0,0.0,0.08941579193106765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27051208986655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066282211198336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187857362305186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23392812687789505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162960170906302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17798708004416208,0.25749825849772623,0.0,0.1063450564336946,0.07811005363782743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900994343365311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190315128727589,0.14645841869990608,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheNASAguy,2019/01/24,"I don't know what's going on It's been a while, I'm not suicidal or self harming but I did lose the will to live, now I imagined what it would be like burning in hell incinerating myself to feel the end moments in intense pain and agony, I don't know what's happening, these aren't my normal thoughts, I'm squeamish and hate these thoughts but I don't understand what's going on",3.1346666666666683,4.323583800000005,4.359999999999999,87.55166666666668,73.5,7.333333333333335,28.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.569583333333333,304,12,66,4,6,100,51,80,0.29100000000000004,0.629,0.08,-0.97,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,6,2,0,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,15,21,6,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,7,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,1,7,1,6,14,0,10,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,5,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22105740925666328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619720707412554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836887620617988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22070637254445008,0.0,0.0,0.2464126017147103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27432975997764397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193417167195784,0.0,0.22038731010427284,0.0,0.0,0.2792207378878069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445394009922056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655750519265492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603706216468875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27300446803225803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962837521946007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598258232896204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177297365389501,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PlasmidPrincess,2019/01/24,"I don’t want to die but I don’t want to be alive? I need some help. Some backstory, I grew up with an alcoholic/drugged up father and my mother killed herself with Methadone recovering from heroin. I have always had anxiety but it’s recently gotten worse when I quit smoking Marijuana everyday for 2 years about 8 months ago.
I have been with an abusive boyfriend for about 4 and a half years and he has bad anger issues that aren’t his fault. 
I constantly worry about my health. I have been to the hospital for chest pains, stomach issues, etc. about 8 times in the past 6 months. Lately I’ve been having major anxiety attacks (feeling disassociated) and I have thoughts that my boyfriend is poisoning me. I know they aren’t rational and don’t make sense but it gives me anxiety and I have to clean everything that touches the food. 
I don’t think I have psychosis? But I want to know if there’s anyone like me.
I’m sitting at my grandmas house right now listening to my boyfriend and my grandma tell me I’m being crazy for not being able to just get rid of my anxiety. They’re saying my therapist (who’ve I’ve been seeing once a week for 3 months) isn’t helping me. And they’re making fun of me for having help anxiety, laughing about how I have to tell everyone I’m dying.
I feel like I have no one to support me and honestly I really don’t want to be alive anymore but I’m too afraid to die.
Will anything ever get better? I don’t want to be on medication. I feel sick. ",2.7614403717088263,4.663614416107387,4.204161073825503,85.33509550851835,75.9798657718121,7.6718637067630375,26.226639132679402,8.502166056373571,1.838248425400104,1168,44,238,23,26,387,154,298,0.232,0.611,0.157,-0.9856,2,0,3,0,0,3,28.0,0,0,1,2,12,15,4,1,7,0,32,8,2,3,1,39,58,17,4,7,8,2,4,2,0,1,5,2,1,0,5,12,1,0,7,0,0,1,11,8,0,2,7,7,39,7,34,45,4,24,0,0,1,0,14,6,0,3,18,146,44,0,0.10070462156171428,0.11931850920905082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926857084528908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379431241837948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851937992702046,0.0,0.09987192445018324,0.07041501289502955,0.0,0.08287132295544125,0.0,0.0,0.1145660452176504,0.0,0.0,0.08408415256917863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890650540970695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882591993597374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135464939152969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678538941025067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231227310580802,0.0,0.09109309565096137,0.0,0.09622758150396528,0.09050682038818528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275784749076055,0.0719434017654235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177242812822912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105228016672042,0.09660504930654118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070443035596958,0.0,0.0,0.20250055521150007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619961242091095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21021892205670428,0.0,0.0,0.111414743127041,0.0,0.11068925271388187,0.0,0.1135991995061796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983983826162724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444223375329262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144931155990206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411444044572851,0.0,0.0,0.07467120086438464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724713531992552,0.06824005782630849,0.0,0.10715681754540847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613395624610288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711176100777138,0.0,0.0,0.06451395926164462,0.0,0.09943366469612416,0.0,0.0,0.08600119657300005,0.0,0.08008435705341778,0.0,0.0,0.08024854511337975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427841114447587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17604055596161772,0.0,0.0,0.11692582744117905,0.0,0.06452745522234904,0.0,0.07994822070461502,0.05872167467774968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969909748193734,0.0,0.08077917300767515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227043151457932,0.10262661280789943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970094911006355
mentalhealth,MaximilianWL,2019/01/24,"Need help! Right heres the sitch...

My girlfriend's best friend's flatmates has reoccuring episodes of psychosis where she doesnt recognise her flatmates and attempts in many ways to try and kill herself. Ie trying to cram her fingers into plug sockets or trying to stick a knife in the toaster. They dont know what to do in this situation and i feel like she could be a serious danger to them or someone else. Whats best in this situation? Should they call the police or what? Im in the England btw",2.8426804123711307,5.395769195876291,3.3991855670103104,87.96888144329898,78.69072164948453,5.5294845360824745,27.22577319587629,6.742157984588678,1.2558090721649484,400,17,76,4,10,125,67,97,0.09,0.774,0.136,0.7052,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,3,2,7,2,0,6,0,7,1,1,0,0,12,10,6,1,3,3,0,2,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,10,4,12,7,2,9,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,3,1,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4135531926439405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20119527071552326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731681017075794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309241331914817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459787338302784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962706673988396,0.14076219729945436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222913499581658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206873925177506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128321465171724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179905824477419,0.0,0.108285555360887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626159041617433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997630664146312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146099323228156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826723650723846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4429523046372683,0.0,0.0,0.16694753586721325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4013225029270113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639760501905936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yerboismam,2019/01/24,"I know I'm a fool and I need help but I'm a single mom with no money or health insurance Hi. I don't know where to begin. i searched for /r/mentalhealth because i thought there had to be a community to speak to on here. 

I have been so sad for so long. I am very poor.

I think something serious shifted in my chemistry when I had an illegal abortion in 2013, with no sedation or anesthesia due to laws in my country... and then 3 months later became pregnant due to continually being raped by the person who originally made me pregnant. I had this second child. I love him more than I ever thought my heart could love...

​

but i cannot be normal. I try. I want to be present and a good mother to my baby. He sometimes brings me water while i cry, trying to hide myself in another room. He deserves better.... i need help

​

​",2.3289423076923086,4.465141165680475,4.029966715976332,84.98270155325447,78.17159763313609,6.591863905325444,26.538831360946745,7.6454224807358475,1.5927659763313606,663,27,130,10,16,222,110,169,0.203,0.705,0.092,-0.9686,0,0,1,0,1,0,37.0,0,0,0,1,7,8,1,0,6,0,13,6,1,2,1,23,28,12,0,5,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,5,1,0,5,0,2,1,4,4,0,1,7,1,25,4,20,16,2,21,0,1,0,3,14,7,0,2,13,87,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3984723213376563,0.4468737167476963,0.0,0.12854426502997784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472854092134386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841917323629943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787658737961843,0.0,0.13465722287286966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108879146612154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028210449534925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303053707119406,0.0,0.14526743621929813,0.1643363793540122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474237889423513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848657165567382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212810128169197,0.1159957823396184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435736492082987,0.09784861648551968,0.0,0.0,0.1817949799582417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011026665771238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703916177805944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943742743730028,0.1212427216360062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854947619101715,0.0,0.1946424459824756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645848583083878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114798439579743,0.07230561138707838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4468737167476963,0.0
mentalhealth,Dimitje123,2019/01/24,"What is this? Hey all, I just wanted to ask a question. I'm 15 years old and have frequent mood swings, sometimes I'm incredibly happy and sometimes I just feel unwanted and unloved. The thing is, I have a great and awesome family who all support and love me very much, I'm on a great school and getting good grades and have an awesome group of friends that I have been incredibly Lucky to meet. But still, I sometimes just have the weird feeling that I just don't matter in any way, and while I know it's not true, the feeling just gnaws at me often. Am I the only one that feels like this or have some of you also experienced this?",6.037700892857143,5.4574369218750025,6.1070535714285725,83.84687500000003,66.5,8.876785714285715,31.566964285714285,7.957251820313856,1.9528401785714284,498,17,106,5,7,158,80,128,0.068,0.643,0.289,0.9876,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,8,13,0,0,8,0,11,1,0,0,3,31,24,12,0,2,8,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,5,11,10,7,23,4,9,0,0,0,1,9,3,0,5,6,72,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596946015607794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156232803190389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895104182247596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028506186380542,0.0,0.3438803328258516,0.12146636662257645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136140438830174,0.0,0.08883139063765952,0.0,0.0,0.14260945814049455,0.0,0.37490778432328026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809954783917072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344165706232396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830659499317765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345479784257374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498842468224525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841333045851324,0.0,0.11521378860152667,0.12931217729952812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904676531970418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207504678002156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5044791806135704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578271298799394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929431058928844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129574945604079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028897735101178,0.10028554042698604,0.13495845613807855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094909515626403
mentalhealth,BoisonBerries,2019/01/24,"Am I a pyromaniac? Long story short, I really enjoy lighting things on fire, the bigger the fire the happier I get.

I've been upping the anti nowadays, I love the thrill you get when you know you're doing something that could get you into trouble, it's the only thrill I've been getting for the past couple of months.

I never try to harm anyone, that doesn't interest me at all, I only set inanimate objects on fire, usually just with gasoline. 

My main question is if anything is wrong with me. I really don't want to stop what I'm doing.",3.1047222222222217,4.871891879629633,5.041851851851857,80.28833333333334,74.64814814814815,7.392592592592592,24.962962962962962,8.167268648758528,1.6749185185185187,425,14,79,7,9,146,73,108,0.163,0.66,0.17600000000000002,0.55,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,0,2,8,0,0,8,0,10,1,0,0,2,12,18,2,0,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,4,13,5,11,15,2,15,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,2,7,53,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045315218458893,0.0,0.1770680889164948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179720402034318,0.2380835462090676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.449673618040585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825281498269548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042030564378296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420098474261246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174810830165532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595378645544828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32729575775847874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20540586665464472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410417030455198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27568917853617936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564979330395824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17989329139752894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429506081666713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608755381040692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369813804040937,0.0,0.12691392501357535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23525662670667835,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamactuallyapencap,2019/01/24,"How do I go about telling new symptoms to my therapist? I have an upcoming appointment with my therapist, but as it gets closer, I'm getting uneasy. I recently have been having new issues/symptoms and want to bring them up. But like.. I'm scared to tell her. I was having a really good streak and have been managing my anxiety well, so bringing up such bad news.. Idek. I feel it'll like take me back to square one or make her super disappointed. I don't know if I explained this good enough but I hope my concern is clear enough.",3.063904761904759,4.958553104761903,4.243809523809528,85.4161904761905,75.09523809523809,8.095238095238095,25.952380952380953,8.841846274778883,1.9710952380952385,416,15,84,9,9,136,72,105,0.146,0.625,0.229,0.8841,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,6,10,0,1,2,0,12,1,0,2,1,17,26,10,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,3,1,1,3,2,16,7,9,22,2,10,0,1,1,0,6,3,0,3,6,56,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949882301978058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301659577736027,0.141341823426992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3498232160809945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559311137479331,0.1209337464714246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688374441064567,0.0,0.09620578921635786,0.28396825450090163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681333478521806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303192298619853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540342497723806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299578983479963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269835757580363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470858549711177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844517498149772,0.0,0.1671436893725668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947892415600854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.351893706977818,0.12727757772228765,0.0,0.2959165599753815,0.0,0.0,0.3930945166545906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984579647822256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522031512111859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jlkpgo,2019/01/24,"I've finally got proof that it's not all in my head I was bullied extensively by my sister between the ages of about 6-16.

I didn't know that it was bullying while it happened, because I didn't think you could be bullied by your own sibling and my parents never intervened. I would usually just take the (literal and figurative) hit and not give back. Sometimes, though rarely, it would become too much and I'd hit her back in an enraged state, which usually led to repercussion from our parents because I was clearly not as good as hiding it from my parents as my sister was. So, I learned that my bad behaviour was punished while my sister could constantly torment me all she wanted.

She was a master at bullying only when no one else was around. I don't think it was until the age of around 15 that my dad and stepmom really saw her for what she was. It was when my sister looked me straight in the eyes and said ""I hate you so much"". Right in front of them. Almost with a smile on her face. I started to cry and they got really shocked because they had never seen that side of her, but I already knew this. It wasn't a surprise to me. After years of hearing that I'm so ugly, undeserving of love and of life, disgusting, horrible, pathetic, fat, etc --- this wasn't new. She told me, when I was severely depressed and suicidal, that I am a ""pathetic human being"" and that I should just kill myself. I started self harming because of her and she made fun of that as well.

I thought I had just imagined it all, but now I've got confirmation that that's not the case ... because she finally acknowledged it. She told me that she's the cause of every bad feeling I've ever had. I asked her to elaborate, and she said that she feels so bad about what she did to me.

I am happy that she said that. I don't want her to feel bad about it, but at the same time, I want her to feel the self hate that I've had for years and still have. I am still in therapy, years after she stopped. I still hate myself to bits and I still see myself as the ugliest person on earth. I still can't believe that someone could ever love me. I still see myself as a freak. I see myself as incompetent.

I want this to be some sort of closure, so that I can move on with my life, but her torment has become my truth. I think I'll be forever damaged by what she did to me. She has it all --- a great life, education, living with her boyfriend ... I still live at my mom's, barely functioning, spending all my free time online in an attempt to escape my thoughts, my mother is my only friend and I'm only truly happy when I'm wasted.

​

TL;DR: My sister finally acknowledged how she bullied me for years. I've waited for her to address it for years, so that I'd know that I haven't just imagined it all, but it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would. She's now a functioning member of society with an overall great life while I'm still just a weak and sad loser.",4.281164994425866,4.795909580267562,5.3274581939799335,84.17768673355631,70.25418060200668,8.407580824972129,28.878483835005568,8.463088693708992,1.9264256410256413,2291,81,479,34,39,757,229,598,0.227,0.6809999999999999,0.092,-0.9983,3,0,0,0,0,1,84.0,1,3,3,3,38,33,7,0,20,0,45,11,4,4,13,90,97,46,2,11,14,11,5,0,1,4,6,4,1,4,43,22,1,2,20,0,2,3,16,19,1,1,36,16,98,15,68,48,13,66,0,4,7,2,61,17,0,3,45,351,141,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204850294041351,0.0,0.06837937424728882,0.0,0.0,0.06713851737502648,0.075293658278675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032309682011897,0.05792844939017456,0.0,0.0,0.09529376198375332,0.2069511001244742,0.18886494146753768,0.1368698592101721,0.0,0.06981278012590153,0.0,0.0,0.06764919290587536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636546175307244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696161870180728,0.0,0.14842085006812314,0.0,0.06806510123845291,0.0,0.0,0.053369939025198036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517633944319052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910680480963552,0.0,0.11210088811444248,0.05220776959958098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665558265596988,0.0,0.0,0.20363726563670184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787362434798453,0.0,0.0,0.05944200131861739,0.0,0.10394577706106882,0.14867603028284926,0.13663217529841118,0.0,0.0,0.054795008841246114,0.13192473971418633,0.0,0.18353136613895474,0.06359346087547403,0.0,0.06983850275836488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855454611752433,0.0,0.06810814499868831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506945502404586,0.0,0.0,0.10943158973110263,0.0,0.052034579665118506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111850773528507,0.058632314700516434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257208161617211,0.0,0.06585846452997696,0.09110208464880014,0.0,0.09558169547712687,0.05984570692261665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04198875355285701,0.14138039925391244,0.0,0.0,0.20641275583726693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410501737274906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939209966823647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05291735035374389,0.17682730747203956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481330683651023,0.0,0.12928498937898664,0.07000225534030638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05250232564317126,0.0,0.061284481786554025,0.0,0.08771759387560321,0.0,0.39587948224562736,0.05180510238418897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777911333989453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658959763670261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086181393992079,0.0,0.0,0.11911306207948436,0.060879813452154374,0.14757869101019322,0.07226400459773633,0.0,0.0,0.11841948361303233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649030021748934,0.0,0.14619308653992122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571353337223068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320534236331226,0.0,0.075293658278675,0.19951555439826008
mentalhealth,freakishrash,2019/01/24,"A recent news event that’s really disturbed/upset me and I’m not sure how to cope (OCD) So there was a recent murder of two innocent girls in Morocco (I’m sure most people on Reddit would have read it by now) but I find myself being constantly upset and feeling withdrawn from people around me about the whole event. I feel embarrassed talking about it with people as they might think I’m being too sensitive . There is a video of the girls being beheaded online, which I couldn’t bring myself to watch the whole thing, but even just a snippet of it has already given me so many nightmares. I’m feeling so hopeless and just deeply hurt of the whole event. How this can happen to two beautiful innocent girls? With my OCD I’m just finding it so hard to not think about, even when doing other things. I’m not sure if talking to someone would be a good idea e.g. Samaritans. They will probably just tell me that I shouldn’t have read the article or watched the video. I really feel like I need help.",3.841903846153844,5.713068892307692,4.412355769230771,85.13545673076925,72.8974358974359,7.541666666666668,24.49519230769231,8.278499904357787,1.5169038461538462,794,24,151,13,16,252,110,195,0.132,0.75,0.118,-0.4264,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,2,0,21,10,1,2,11,0,17,0,0,2,3,39,33,15,1,6,11,0,5,1,0,5,0,0,0,3,11,6,0,0,9,4,0,1,5,5,0,2,2,7,15,5,20,21,4,12,0,2,2,0,9,3,0,4,9,107,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331467006914086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754476342815597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130550567372017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958513473889968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443366883205743,0.08630528393120697,0.0,0.0,0.22083270968321014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132804757661476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683014586662458,0.0,0.10822026972781527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097507895044179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293274994622623,0.13637756606038767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902070337012051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248038533531848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815823338865942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957762677246912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512592397588008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025149390080493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24168145358796436,0.0,0.15478544063726846,0.0,0.2385667192079823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236025553070167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415804282212315,0.0,0.0,0.194201843886258,0.10559154691637697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051898004795995,0.1548178208887422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360237910768813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046335683928341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716371230061695,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,e_kool,2019/01/24,"Tips for dealing with SAD? Hi guys! I’ve never posted in here and really don’t post anywhere, but I need help.

I struggle really badly with seasonal affective disorder. I’m in NY so our winters are cold and brutal and essentially sunless.

I take vitamin D but it just doesn’t seem to be enough. I’m really down and frustrated right now. Does anyone have any advice about how to help this further than a vitamin? ",1.881,4.6081751,4.197500000000002,79.21750000000002,85.5,8.200000000000001,24.25,8.841846274778883,2.618225,328,13,58,10,10,113,61,80,0.254,0.615,0.13,-0.9337,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,6,5,2,1,1,0,5,2,0,2,1,14,10,8,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,1,4,0,10,9,1,11,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,4,35,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21166227212620026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729769547059265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145408813686045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808547372292611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233085274035048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24824618758627826,0.0,0.18955103815574453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22380914681528424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21447135601530096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29036929934705824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606086283596778,0.16705784515323513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.414892240548482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4162849286118921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18497806462181354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197187541166132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264408354076699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628587513308202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dunkelrein,2019/01/24,"Should psychiatrists follow up about suicidal ideation So, I started rating really high on the test for depression and suicidal ideation. My psychiatrist was concerned, as I thought about it daily, but had no plan. So she scheduled an appointment to follow up sooner than normal. 
Meanwhile, things got so bad I couldn't work, and when time for my appointment came, I couldn't pay. So I didn't go. 
No one followed up about my no-show.
I went back when I had money, but I have lost some faith in her. 
Was it responsible to not even call? 
Last time I had these issues, it was far milder. But my doc checked up on me quite a bit. But that was in Germany and the system is different there. (I live in the US now)
Am I being overly dependent here, or should I be concerned about my psychiatrist? ",3.148439849624061,5.380288092105262,4.015338345864663,85.61236842105264,75.97368421052632,7.5007518796992505,25.330827067669173,8.418075326091056,1.7205774436090229,618,22,122,12,14,198,95,152,0.129,0.802,0.069,-0.8854,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,4,15,4,0,0,5,0,17,0,0,1,0,18,27,15,2,5,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,0,3,6,6,3,0,1,13,0,21,1,20,8,2,28,1,2,0,0,4,12,0,3,9,93,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495959181607393,0.16244001282462764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123967595552113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19865594352151786,0.222511849681868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756448406388566,0.0,0.0,0.20326195217343695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849756144807925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056649231768848,0.0,0.1555983434497958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20555135091072516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030582657461872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585831318007365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179003956633224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123728546263186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19061638962834135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183121348983068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20692645760395748,0.0,0.0,0.12463285945835186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377025496895475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4256093360625648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924949141436531,0.0,0.0,0.15444991237652292,0.2268857875421756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23401809540018315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18034856583222253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163374854272245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Memelucious,2019/01/24,"I feel torn. I am motivated but can't seem to get anything done. I am in my exam year of what is basically high school in the Netherlands. I have been having trouble at school for a couple years now but seem to pass each year. I am extremely motivated to pass my exams but can't seem to get any results. I feel like my mental health is suffering from this. I feel torn all the time, I can be really insecure and sad while being alone and really happy while i am at school. Sometimes i feel like giving it all up and sometimes i feel like working even harder than i was doing already. I have never done any self-harm. I have thought of suicide but I dont think that that is something to worry about because i do not seriously think about doing it... If that makes sense... I have no clue what to do or what not to do.",2.930561953017044,4.288720526946108,4.470299401197603,85.89315983417781,74.26946107784431,7.29415016121603,24.22339935513588,7.882392219407189,1.1674877015200371,636,19,134,9,13,213,91,167,0.189,0.672,0.138,-0.8926,0,1,1,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,3,4,9,0,1,3,0,27,1,0,4,3,30,42,11,1,1,8,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,13,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,5,5,20,4,19,35,3,16,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,5,11,98,29,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747838613679344,0.13582676859359585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740331484991625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101288027798316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503114786450789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619062019762534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519162848580352,0.1442540771199294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129612876031038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111760206719206,0.26379470067732913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861310641282134,0.11807383508140512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102570248834658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083303135435165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004549582247216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039855811953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821598366240218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404019165443292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949303278676172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770212097582634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737041513756474,0.0,0.3361544245433062,0.12840394145389067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475643506193418,0.24346736768597305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346344280631081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577351113805706,0.0,0.09771531710081452,0.07177154177110978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960695696149101,0.12499824958465128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377870812921332
mentalhealth,poisoned_pizza,2019/01/24,"ADD, issues getting meds Has anyone ever been given the run around with doctors to get medicated for ADD? 

I have tried for years and finally my last doctor was like ok take a psychological test. So I do, it’s comprehensive and expensive. $150 to get hard evidence that I do in fact have ADD.

Only now I’m in between psychiatrists because a change in insurance. Wasn’t able to see the last one.

I bring my results to this new one, and they want to give me antidepressants because of my history of depression and anxiety. Only I don’t want antidepressants. I’m trying to deal with that and I don’t want my sex drive to into the gutter. 

I just left with an RX for a low dose of Effexor. So disappointed.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to take these meds but I feel like if I don’t comply then they won’t actually treat me for ADD. It’s fucked up. 

My other option is to remain med free and just wait till I can see a different and better psych. I’m just under a ton of stress but the ADD is real... I can continue to get by, it’s just a challenge. ",0.9508814229249012,3.075241827272727,3.641343873517787,85.99266798418977,83.0,7.098814229249013,20.92885375494071,8.18289091462,1.1356225296442686,822,25,178,18,23,289,118,220,0.087,0.79,0.123,0.5698,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,2,9,12,1,1,11,1,19,7,0,1,2,36,41,14,0,5,7,0,2,2,0,1,5,0,0,0,9,17,0,1,2,0,2,3,7,5,0,2,4,4,22,8,32,36,1,22,0,3,2,2,4,9,1,2,12,115,31,5,0.126346532612211,0.0,0.1232959901230759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096654751622674,0.0,0.0,0.08834443330566509,0.0,0.0,0.1124752010453252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403934714857268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174324065343492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365787855135194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025772726555976,0.1088220834015095,0.0,0.0,0.13200523509109574,0.0,0.25864205977918164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428767222324812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388460317727246,0.09026198814339444,0.0,0.1384064507069532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680533347908625,0.2640433941162236,0.12120310690242946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131816762323976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187295418743192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943675007638682,0.205978574652046,0.0,0.0,0.13727587736813232,0.0,0.0,0.1234530676489049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4210275448358132,0.12728083927741562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202626851195128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17123136074399806,0.19218446288879293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381001488888315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20136365670242087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472952622691376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899937370087789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156200407894456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29808983384185844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136302456847448
mentalhealth,mvln,2019/01/24,"Getting a DUI improved my mental health Sounds counterintuitive, but it has. 

I've suffered from Major Depressive Disorder for the better part of 16 years and I was more or less a pretty upstanding member of society, up until I was arrested a couple weeks ago for driving under the influence. I have to admit, the entire experience (field sobriety tests, getting handcuffed, booked, and spending a night in jail) has scared me straight. I've always had a self-destructive relationship with alcohol, but I haven't had a drop since the arrest. 

Aside from the fact that this is the dumbest and most expensive mistake I've ever made, not having had alcohol in two weeks has improved my general well being. My meds are working as they should and my mood has stabilized. I don't get stuck ruminating and it's easier to not sweat the small stuff. I also haven't had one of those passive ""what if I just crossed the street without looking"" thoughts. My eating and sleeping patterns have improved. My pants fit a little looser so I think I may have even lost a little bit of weight. 

The funny thing is, I'm a huge beer geek and beer is the last thing on my mind. 

Is this what it's like to be sober and on the upswing of a depressive episode? 

Weird. ",4.879777777777775,6.6283104553191485,5.4191134751773085,79.46361111111112,69.97872340425532,8.456264775413713,30.07683215130024,8.998388855275968,2.617080378250592,987,40,177,19,18,317,147,235,0.153,0.664,0.183,0.7407,0,0,4,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,3,6,12,0,1,21,0,26,9,2,2,2,30,37,16,0,3,8,0,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,12,9,6,0,3,3,2,2,6,8,1,2,10,3,18,3,22,23,6,24,0,4,1,0,3,13,0,4,9,125,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259848475604118,0.2956106343749453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060195973624136,0.11508032039038504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231898162612732,0.15099255836896208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303116175302187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238242713246333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585087973362548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151990465102707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913487361476196,0.12510422641245125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13528821852253528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21677498489755306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701108457229178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273652590039247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756853222231687,0.27723463777453994,0.0,0.0,0.11614084322072445,0.0,0.1509755643885516,0.0,0.0,0.13086694488791445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362498354774018,0.0,0.13937828174510605,0.0,0.13964799388829885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978928813531548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937186247068898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977016183884384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070527198880087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848714114755912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846680804118475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428162751474505,0.0,0.0,0.11440680924968882,0.0,0.13840425803789996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832542179863282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376656421134546,0.08861985982876046,0.0,0.10979822601074624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351032792052871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218788565070817,0.1684174708826615,0.12435224395584835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332048332245014,0.0,0.10068723312274848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906348383168579
mentalhealth,keepinitkute,2019/01/24,"Great resource that explores the psychology of mental illness and tips to overcome them. Here is the latest video: https://youtu.be/e_Yrwd1k7m4 
He covers many interesting topics.",11.185066666666673,16.163022440000002,7.484000000000003,56.24866666666668,64.6,8.133333333333335,36.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,4.640733333333333,151,7,14,3,3,42,24,25,0.086,0.698,0.21600000000000005,0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6107156257246242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5616034523742768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5582364971739793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnglesAmongUs,2019/01/24,"Emotinally drained after boyfriend was sad/mad We are in a ldr and we talk on Discord with webcams everyday, and he had a really shitty moment.

I have a mood disorder and GAD and I often get these slumps of sadness/anxiety, where I am very out of it, unresponsive and often end up crying. Well, my boyfriend had a similar situation for the first time in our relationship, and I had to stay strong for the good 30 minutes while he was prosessing it (in the same way I did and do) and I never realized how tolling it is for him. I kept telling him everything was fine and just supported him mentally while waiting for it to blow off (like he does everytime I have one of those moments). I stayed strong through it and once he was starting to feel better I felt this massive wave of relief but also tiredness. I was hoping for more support from him afterwards since he knows I'm not strong and these things take a lot out of me, but he was still coming down from it so I didn't expect much. He did thank me and that meant alot, but I still feel very tired and honestly just want to crash to my bed and sleep, possibly cry a little. It opened my eyes to the other side of me feeling down and him having to help me back up, but since he doesn't have mental disorders I'd say he recovers better from it than I do. I don't want to push him to make me feel better after what he went through, because that would seem selfish and I know this wasn't about me. I'm mostly posting to get some supportive words and possible tips on how to handle the tiredness and anxiety that followed. Thank you for reading and I just hope every one of y'all is having a good day.",3.645675675675677,4.967616426426428,4.629424624624626,85.59628108108109,72.42342342342343,8.210882882882883,27.133813813813816,8.726425361277474,1.8968187147147144,1302,46,269,24,25,424,176,333,0.078,0.742,0.179,0.9863,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,3,2,0,7,16,22,0,0,13,0,27,3,2,3,1,64,57,29,0,6,8,0,5,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,19,26,0,2,10,1,0,4,6,1,1,3,17,7,37,20,46,39,7,41,0,0,1,0,26,16,0,9,18,192,56,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008466195235595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532188942614082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700411345631375,0.0,0.06104650326709037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26570616788108303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862646945828995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200057031676386,0.06458422540218331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22954608546577016,0.0,0.08763618734225638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869735169218954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437515593586555,0.0,0.09000245440909857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254210154846256,0.0,0.09615339397974004,0.0,0.0,0.0851819473812622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464161410670476,0.0,0.0,0.16799110966948472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712402781753724,0.0,0.0,0.19893003693512235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007241640165738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892501972429344,0.10037002192639624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513836000615545,0.0,0.0,0.06684651478275573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184203975545886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361694109210354,0.0,0.0772367841257264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664948084286097,0.13571955499142305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257933329952545,0.09590972034054604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001705266848205,0.0,0.06415444330375106,0.0,0.0,0.10751656237766903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963807217696829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116681431728853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656793544284148,0.11256540717645497,0.10021574883631926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088203267768355,0.21347913618062614,0.15994933944924078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409247207512404,0.0,0.0,0.07529539368825221,0.08049149281605662,0.08752976871871275,0.1843972247655517,0.0,0.0,0.06653084270888003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839443729591012,0.11510013701272552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165257629380906,0.11813437509548713,0.07948919062430171,0.0,0.0,0.09004096712183128,0.09283395961449876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113901689579845,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway54471,2019/01/24,"How to talk about my obsessive thoughts pattern with my therapist without sounding like nonsense? I have a pattern of obsessive thoughts that has been going on for a while. Sometimes it disappears for a few periods (weeks or months) then it returns combined with depression.

I am pretty sure it is similar to Ocd but I don't have compulsions aside from repeating things in my head or researching online.

There are specific things I tend to obsess about, but it is never about cleaning, harming other people etc

Years ago I used to have symptoms of Hocd (I was obsessed with the idea of being a lesbian/attracted to women after some people spread the rumor in middle school) and it was terrible because I switched from obsessive/intrusive thoughts, anxiety, reassuring myself constantly etc 

Then it went away but my anxiety seemed to focus on other things like negative thoughts about the world/complete generalizing (which send me into deep depression too), my appearance/looks and how people perceive me, thoughts about someone I was close too online and about relationships.

Idk how to explain it without making it sound like nonsense, she thinks I mostly worry about my future but it is only a part of it.

",9.23749605055292,9.825767658767774,8.436220379146924,65.89692140600319,59.61611374407583,11.58309636650869,41.28001579778832,11.20814326018867,5.123179778830963,980,50,143,24,12,307,125,211,0.184,0.747,0.069,-0.9735,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,13,13,0,4,8,0,15,2,1,5,2,36,28,15,0,0,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,1,17,8,0,0,10,0,0,4,5,8,0,0,10,2,19,5,34,17,6,27,0,2,0,0,8,9,0,5,17,119,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098653071087751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896274787531236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164456835916024,0.0,0.0,0.07555265659000636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994870263357544,0.13393507929999174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134986326243843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27645166176658675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043794231151344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719816800198794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991314241467692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18165242967560116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407836143903264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827308937503546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892770323080408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559014709878227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426193369001393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421491186370238,0.0,0.2577731133565636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609150879502687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306514673768632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543386854985408,0.0,0.1128302956908619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501393611415707,0.0,0.12257980149036453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168119568840266,0.12882108672350914,0.0,0.09961825476786793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439038602179067,0.2470206306413062,0.07941572961034173,0.0,0.4919724678764806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070443420715909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941716963142637,0.0,0.0,0.1148935957880793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23894742048823814,0.0,0.0,0.12586705780211516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981327846601642
mentalhealth,herostrudel,2019/01/24,"Why do I enjoy being creepy, weird and scare people? I really don't know what is wrong with me. 
I enjoy trying to scare people being weird and creepy, or dark or something like that. I have two examples, one involve drug and the other one does not. 

I know that drugs influenced my normal behaviour but I believe that sometimes they bring out part of ourselves that we didn't know we had, that is why I am telling you this story. 

The first one (because it happens first) 

I took with my SO mushrooms. The night went terrible, me and him never clicked and he told me I spent all the night being weird and following him in the dark to scare him just standing behind him with eyes wide open. 
Then he told me he had (7 months after that night, and we are not even dating anymore, and he lives in a completely different country) nightmares about me during that night. 
He told me I was saying terrible but he didn't want to tell me what scared him the most cause he didn't want to even think about it. 

I remember I cried all night, FOR EVERY LITTLE THING. I remember one in particular, he was drowning a non-stop lines with a pen over my body but at a certain point he stopped and he left like 1 cm between the first line and the second one ( like this ___ ___)  and I got mad, crying that the lines had to be continuous and I was sad. At the same time I am not sure if I really wanted to react in that way OR if I liked the idea of him thinking that I was crazy if I had said that... Do you know what I mean? Like a part of me remember that I was trying to do it on purpose to sound crazy!!! 

The second one was during a 1 hour trip on a train. This girl was sat in front of me and I kept doing this weird thing like trying to lose myself and get in a state of trance without blinking watching the lights... 

On the other side I am an extremely sociable and happy person, I swear, everyone describe me as super solar and good vibes person, and I always make jokes and try to be funny. 

I have no clue why I am doing this weird things... I just want to stop doing it! 


Plus: my SO told me that during the mushrooms trip he understood that I had major problems with my childhood and he said that it looked like I never lived a normal childhood so I was acting like I was a baby again, like I missed my child's time. But he is no expert so I am writing this down just because that's what he observed.

Do I really enjoy being weird? Why so? Could this lead to something bigger? Is this just a strange phase?
If I really want to stop it, I can, right? 

I was wondering if some of you could give me opinions, thank you a lot! 


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mentalhealth,Jewels96,2019/01/24,I don’t know where to go to get help I’ve been in a really bad place for a long time now and recently I’ve been trying to improve myself. I know I need therapy but I have no health insurance and I have no idea how to go about setting it up or how to find a good therapist. Can anyone help? ,-0.4832967032967019,1.3662039230769238,2.554505494505495,93.28692307692309,86.69230769230771,6.791208791208793,18.516483516483518,7.957251820313856,0.5963406593406589,225,6,55,5,7,80,44,65,0.121,0.71,0.16899999999999998,0.4945,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,2,0,11,12,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,9,10,0,11,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,4,35,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697561301450979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20270961773382445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218948344524296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684156516252382,0.0,0.2759528394778658,0.20363079703776601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25806182487618023,0.0,0.0,0.32545815815521445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27406698479954184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668490484745437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485102650076895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001692495493374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25365149822655936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552990213779172,0.0,0.23971413809328104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776379774168302,0.2818841489103688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415658939634707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648304301846236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway0129875333,2019/01/24,"Lost with mental health, anxiety issues ? **(Throwaway because I don’t want to talk about this on main account)**

**Hey,**   
 

**Usually I have been a pretty carefree person most of the time, but since the last time I was on holiday (1 month ago) I spent a lot of time in my bed due to sickness so I started thinking a lot about my life, and I realized a few things :**  
 

**I don't understand what people say to each other all the time, I'm afraid I'll get boring if I spend too much time with the same person since I'll run out of things to say and that terrifies me, especially with my girlfriend, I feel like she must get bored of me at some point**  
 **Lately I've started**  
 

**And more importantly, life is so goddamn long, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do all those years, I've been fine for the moment because I'm only 18 and I've been living my most dense years of my life but how in hell am I goind to stay interested in things for 40 years of working (I'm going to get a degree in engineering, and I like it but 40 years is so much, and during all that time some people manage to stay together with someone and still be happy together? I'd love it but I don't think I can do this.**  
 

**All this makes me so anxious I'm unable to focus on the present, and I don't have the motivation to do anything. Since I've heard it so much, I know the right thing to do is see a therapist, and I can do this in about 1.5 weeks, but I don't see how anything can help me, I'm afraid this is going to stay like this forever. I also know that's probably the anxiety speaking but I'm so afraid.**   
 

**If you read everything up to here, thanks a lot, I only have a few questions :**  
 **What should I do? Can therapy really help with this? Can I try anything else in the meantime/in parallel? I'd like to go back to the time where I did not think about the future so much.**   
 

**Thanks again.**",-1.3587894288150046,0.4972636751918174,1.1964705882352966,96.57745098039216,105.34271099744244,4.415004262574596,16.152600170502986,6.280692351149826,-0.2462801364023868,1431,41,325,21,69,483,169,391,0.094,0.773,0.132,0.937,0,0,0,0,0,0,79.0,0,1,0,3,20,18,2,3,21,0,33,7,0,4,5,54,68,27,0,5,9,0,1,4,1,2,5,4,1,2,22,16,0,0,11,2,3,5,7,8,0,0,8,7,34,10,44,57,21,50,1,1,2,2,15,15,2,10,31,209,56,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323523714519639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606901191417835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640399177131587,0.09333401448931744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039609550721797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352759149327056,0.0,0.1007254586170772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901613930061341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425108738297044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177378100281296,0.05902180397235495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637834748970902,0.12949236246850412,0.0,0.187813224937186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794763474494513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781830919891354,0.0,0.0,0.11075324751305997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862309795230846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621289545412565,0.06734411298532775,0.09319589455238356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506509225042302,0.16145052659340905,0.0,0.07295257511275402,0.07311369624701917,0.0,0.0,0.09018652459797724,0.21071478050116735,0.07456532411992246,0.0,0.055147678393531185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325879016208525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594432762259017,0.0,0.2429328383002045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566833423981885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455284404222213,0.14427645083330054,0.0,0.0,0.07810003734846054,0.0,0.0,0.08405147895738099,0.0890754052352978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255026558093184,0.0,0.08263964109539745,0.0,0.0529267474651345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055470885391339,0.0,0.13140116000271207,0.0,0.0,0.1316705572025074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20502561242332185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700013563631729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695387724228976,0.26417709548684754,0.06597826947202319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640464313900499,0.0,0.15212578967024362,0.0944800640615894,0.09592503408499403,0.21954900888304293,0.15881345833713972,0.0,0.0,0.3372236175516766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056091712481257036,0.0,0.0,0.08600750597119652,0.0,0.0,0.09099126589722446,0.0,0.04872981445748705,0.0,0.0662706015744637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060146366489858286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128112879166548
mentalhealth,hugodeheld,2019/01/24,People self diagnosing making me not want to talk about my issues This trend of people self diagnosing PTSD and then wearing it like a badge (when most likely they don't have anything) like they are proud of it makes me feel like when i talk to people about my problems they wont believe me and i won't be taken seriously. Is it just me or is this something others have been dealing with?,5.293506493506492,6.0264331558441615,5.740675324675326,81.33387012987014,68.0909090909091,7.718441558441559,27.08831168831169,7.554174236665415,1.421698181818182,311,9,60,3,5,100,51,77,0.049,0.8,0.151,0.8018,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,3,1,5,7,0,0,1,0,10,3,1,2,0,12,15,6,0,2,3,0,1,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,11,5,7,10,1,3,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,2,7,44,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15262124692185938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089546605050027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19120546265034136,0.0,0.3764845498298368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377628001938527,0.13249567273281104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935764560444777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624337904697023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475976082271578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857326050710024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774642069076382,0.216797743268397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869592503745056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277941418524714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981382225933228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939159961484647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xtinemza,2019/01/24,I need help I've been the most depressed I've been since the year started. I'm not attending class. Spent the whole day either sleeping or watching some movies. My eating habit or also in not a good shape it's either not eating or eating too much. I'm quite aware that I'm spiraling down and thinking about not good things. Idk how to save myself from me. I have no one.,1.01248538011696,3.4411785526315803,1.9875438596491253,95.85336257309942,85.84210526315789,4.430409356725146,17.654970760233926,5.82211442006289,-0.4269046783625727,294,7,62,2,9,92,55,76,0.136,0.7709999999999999,0.092,-0.5282,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,0,3,4,1,1,0,16,10,6,0,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,5,1,0,1,3,1,5,3,5,7,6,7,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,5,3,39,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17102428059776087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792242382122086,0.0,0.18419786022680015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6564984908294029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587523250723789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334628240234054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721218124857636,0.15857495850194248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449175078572804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274671206604185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690773557787068,0.0,0.21401509267147734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137166531613466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207950978950545,0.13703326604729132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23876777281812303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377192437292161
mentalhealth,Brown3707,2019/01/24,"Resources, please? My nephew (19) is in serious need of a mental evaluation. He works at McDonald’s and has no insurance. He currently resides with my parents (his grandparents). He has expressed to me that he is in need of some mental health and I’m at a loss. I don’t know where to take him, or who to contact. Please help. What resources are available to the mentally unstable who have no insurance? 
",2.375906432748536,5.143240684210525,3.850701754385966,82.49546783625729,82.94736842105263,8.114619883040936,29.49707602339181,8.841846274778883,3.063358479532164,316,16,58,9,9,104,54,76,0.135,0.773,0.091,-0.3736,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,8,12,3,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,11,12,1,6,0,1,0,0,13,5,0,2,1,38,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355223127644112,0.0,0.0,0.1485160739166672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177102344731215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6698820438181605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285879461052892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460311957438495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4864424213146923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659572761316618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613081767263467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Capronia,2019/01/24,"I suspect I'm narcissistic I will jump right into the story :) 

​

When I was in 9th grade I started questioning the school system and it only got worse. I felt as if there were a lot more important topics out there and that everything irrelevant to today was stupid. I would always question the teachers, argument, etc to the point of where they simply gave up and just told my ""main"" teacher who would complain to either me myself or my parents. Now I'm in 11th grade (or college, we got quite the unique school system in this country) and while I can control myself a lot more now, I often still find myself argumenting with people a lot.

​

It's been lately that I feel like I might be narcissistic. I always smile when I get to be the group leader in projects, I will often try to get peoples attention by just doing all sorts of things, I like to be in the spotlight. When it comes to argumenting, and looking back to a lot of the discussions I have had I can tell that I should really quit what I'm doing and accept that people sometimes know better. I have always hated losing arguments, I have always felt as if I'm better and in arguments that really shows that. I often even argument against people who believes or thinks something I do to just to start an argument. 

​

That's a couple of symptoms that I can relate to at least, another thing that makes me believe I might be narcissistic is the fact that I'm currently studying topics that relates to starting your own company and to get far with going your own way in life. I guess my dream in life is to be the founder of the next big thing. When I'm bored at work or school, I often let thoughts droll me into a world where I can be a big person who can command people to do his work for him so he can sit back and relax. Like those gang leaders from breaking bad or any sort of big guy really. 

​

Another symptom that I feel like I can relate to is my sensitivity to criticism. Though, I'm just sixteen so I have decided to avoid this, and rather think that could be because of my age. 

​

Then again, though I'm unsure if this really is a narcissistic trait, I always like to cause drama, and to sometimes just totally shock another person with destruction. I have always been fascinated by drama, and just big things happening. I love the attention, and the overall atmosphere and memories these things causes. (I really should use a throw away for this now that I'm thinking about it) 

​

Anyways, this is some of a lot of symptoms I can relate to. I guess this gives a good insight into how I can relate to some of the symptoms, and I really hope that someone in here could help me decide if I should seek help. Looking at it all, this is not who I wanna be, and while that is easy to say now. There are scenarios where it's impossible for me to control these things. Basically, I want to know what YOU think

​

Could I be narcissistic?

Should I seek help, and if yes how? 

​

(Small little note though I know this is something that people tend to look at as inaccurate: I did one of those quiz things where I scored 28. narcissistic people usually scored over 20 while celebs scored 18, people who weren't narcissistic would score somewhere between 12-15) 

​

​",8.060595285261487,7.205876142630746,7.9209147187004785,73.39479521592712,62.53407290015847,10.803506339144217,34.615738906497626,9.978442167317967,3.2876168383518216,2630,94,478,46,32,846,262,631,0.081,0.821,0.098,0.8609,2,1,2,0,0,0,101.0,1,3,1,10,41,21,3,1,26,1,59,7,0,9,4,111,106,45,0,19,19,1,4,5,0,11,6,1,0,3,49,26,0,3,22,5,0,4,2,9,0,1,15,8,65,12,73,67,18,68,0,1,3,1,31,34,0,30,30,363,114,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787134124707355,0.4077302127355449,0.4572561401098333,0.025590275333637755,0.1183777139541279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03535543186306761,0.0578716173146515,0.031420196400923896,0.022939423083384702,0.0,0.0,0.08479418612536027,0.0,0.0665628755641313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731451858678097,0.0,0.03241565397346654,0.0,0.0,0.08441241899811573,0.09013553938737454,0.04163783102910119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04196835635960506,0.02485482823802339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03382019067005866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03805458716685232,0.05376698805070117,0.07226305414265087,0.0,0.034393924456019916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898171384902291,0.03609895003740668,0.02138648503884085,0.03156298012758612,0.06019367304691298,0.0,0.08290927003866676,0.03726046788495704,0.033276845371622316,0.0,0.0,0.03715268367807608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566951704492414,0.0,0.0,0.037375935041542116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204280985433566,0.0,0.04244924935807992,0.0,0.0,0.03848010409389526,0.05315957883142186,0.09192268735755232,0.0377160078732867,0.0,0.0,0.09480133490863403,0.04209930693039466,0.0,0.15996205812656086,0.03396332051143647,0.0,0.025118891372735142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984079177237301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040020846704937336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02549964474636271,0.028619964871747495,0.0,0.0,0.04178461690812981,0.0,0.0,0.20870800220463828,0.06571563122320924,0.0,0.0,0.03557332623076758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431035123748415,0.08005010373254627,0.0,0.0,0.14464375571373214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03213654897473055,0.0,0.029925570400318787,0.0,0.11425331852717542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03188450570635293,0.0579401492746504,0.0744357658559613,0.0,0.07990594954257968,0.0,0.03005205354253315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15645148926783595,0.0,0.0,0.03289103043698483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17500189971914548,0.0964493429208302,0.11091638716785444,0.029874699568110924,0.0,0.0,0.03566965538136805,0.035957899528724885,0.0,0.025548883901750214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03250098093556096,0.04144507603076436,0.0,0.022195656310977814,0.029869625231584263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054791428772119816,0.0,0.03834906140884082,0.08019565015062098,0.0,0.4572561401098333,0.0
mentalhealth,mochimeggie,2019/01/24,"Barely existing Hi, 

A couple of months ago I was raped. Since then I have been having a lot of flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares etc. 
I was previously diagnosed with anxiety and depression before the incident and within the last month and a half my depression has come back strong along with feeling suicidal. 
However something that I haven't felt before is this idea of not having control. Like I feel like I'm on autopilot, I wake up, brush my teeth, go to my lecturers etc then I get home and I feel like I wasn't even, aware, I was doing that if it makes sense? I sit here and think what am I doing here, then suddenly I feel like I have no control over anything, over my body, life, future and I feel weird? 
Is it normal to feel like this? ",2.3734474885844747,4.799629815068496,3.6429863013698633,86.28032420091326,79.61643835616438,7.181004566210048,23.431963470319637,8.238735603445708,1.5662489497716896,587,20,114,12,15,191,88,146,0.2,0.7040000000000001,0.096,-0.9528,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,4,12,2,1,5,0,16,6,3,3,0,26,29,10,1,2,2,0,7,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,7,10,0,2,9,0,0,2,4,6,0,1,6,8,19,6,13,23,3,18,0,2,0,1,1,5,0,2,15,80,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284509585425577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973852965036128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475828495880156,0.0,0.0,0.1448238302888773,0.0,0.09788699307732536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21664839491485266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140326471856307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965896732574497,0.0,0.0,0.2855589063351409,0.0,0.14085668473856838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21928918506911368,0.1292083394321008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28394963880847424,0.08408143793339423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862047701527499,0.3637768585931779,0.12222940033191727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650977782813049,0.0,0.07234837421470612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769378067725787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370789453510124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037677104804405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899168118418475,0.31096540509987824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822718011376642,0.0,0.0,0.08497473753132898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20322168021009085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472843805755075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493608776880795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530511353260852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098002911515504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924717547452176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156965884910261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shaun768,2019/01/24,"Going through a tough time with loss, was wondering if paroxetine is worth taking for just 1 month? I'm going to try keep this as short as possible, recently gone through a break up due to my fault which ive regonized at the same time dealing with a close family death in the same month.

The anxiety has just sprung itself and im usually in control of how i feel and this time ive felt so helpless and went to the doctor which prescribe paroxetine 20mg which is an SSRI.

My question is should i take it to deal with the situation without worrrying about everything else like i know where my anxiety is coming from so, im just curious about short term usage of SSRI so i can sleep and not have my hear race while i lay in bed aswell as start eating again.

Anyways if anyone can point me in the right direction cause i have 30 days worth of paroxetine and dont want  to take anymore after this.",10.090462889066245,6.430162212290504,9.676711891460496,71.23083798882685,60.955307262569825,13.803990422984835,39.537909018355954,11.765960540728905,4.329257940941739,712,25,143,16,7,232,112,179,0.106,0.8440000000000001,0.05,-0.8412,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,12,5,0,0,10,0,14,3,1,3,0,30,31,15,1,4,7,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,8,10,1,2,5,0,2,5,3,4,0,0,4,3,13,1,28,26,3,32,0,2,0,0,4,12,0,4,15,92,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485665425419234,0.0,0.13926851614660496,0.09819170316705383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425997295566428,0.0,0.12096774192038988,0.0,0.0,0.15750383633472465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056553145356312,0.28955368464749043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437357364242906,0.0,0.0,0.16458254874610584,0.0,0.0,0.14369462937488164,0.11731098497663138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620914882737827,0.0,0.13238461214610728,0.0,0.07100546981182015,0.0,0.13483452302184934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961885605518866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827446476012386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30337632229937056,0.0,0.0,0.12482035925801445,0.0,0.0,0.07717648410053547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860685229425859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22417927474418944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275144626900584,0.15831337353699435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731338966755914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865737556860366,0.0,0.0,0.11992618645822267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784885334984194,0.1405311048767526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939685612063134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167569465879805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456570415470409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534254026498097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466346183434082,0.0,0.08282906852898231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017972789902768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536920821378276,0.15229000656181546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatsup3510,2019/01/24,"How do I stop spiraling with my anxiety disorder Hi Everyone,

I could use some advice. I have an anxiety disorder so most of the time I feel completely fine, but sometimes things just trigger me and I start panicking. I’m medicated and most of the time that helps me from being in crisis. However, now I’m left where something happens and I can’t get it out of my head. Instead of panic attack that I used to have I just can’t stop thinking about it. It starts to just consume everything I’m doing. Should I go back to a doctor and get my medicine adjusted or just continue to work with it? Is this something I’ll forever have as remnant of my anxiety disorder?


Do you all have any suggestions on how to get out of the spiraling thoughts when I’m stuck?",3.6285999999999987,5.312418593333334,5.2543333333333315,79.65550000000002,73.06666666666666,9.8,31.83333333333333,10.125756701596842,3.5157333333333334,599,29,116,18,12,203,89,150,0.234,0.735,0.031,-0.9843,1,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,13,3,1,1,5,0,13,3,1,5,1,31,30,11,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,8,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,16,1,20,25,4,17,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,4,10,84,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061626113976644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978561318628819,0.0,0.3302466094919082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370568126013746,0.0,0.1106493099669152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508751746135618,0.0,0.0,0.11489149833711547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4947615423844247,0.14728653942699824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750148882415192,0.1293269804520938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275956689086688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255435821873309,0.0,0.08178101535677622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724925098347126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476817037715205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964523455545548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563464885921438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449629218738804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883426012671215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22156068325386272,0.14231961211728206,0.0,0.2037046503830621,0.0,0.0,0.2406117131802684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559998170008607,0.09220455325213772,0.0,0.1142395891480808,0.1678171178833038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485647563098068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476005453197433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hammiecat,2019/01/24,"How do I stop spiraling with my anxiety disorder Hi Everyone,

I could use some advice. I have an anxiety disorder so most of the time I feel completely fine, but sometimes things just trigger me and I start panicking. I’m medicated and most of the time that helps me from being in crisis. However, now I’m left where something happens and I can’t get it out of my head. Instead of panic attack that I used to have I just can’t stop thinking about it. It starts to just consume everything I’m doing. Should I go back to a doctor and get my medicine adjusted or just continue to work with it? Is this something I’ll forever have as remnant of my anxiety disorder?


Do you all have any suggestions on how to get out of the spiraling thoughts when I’m stuck?",3.6285999999999987,5.312418593333334,5.2543333333333315,79.65550000000002,73.06666666666666,9.8,31.83333333333333,10.125756701596842,3.5157333333333334,599,29,116,18,12,203,89,150,0.234,0.735,0.031,-0.9843,1,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,13,3,1,1,5,0,13,3,1,5,1,31,30,11,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,8,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,16,1,20,25,4,17,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,4,10,84,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061626113976644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978561318628819,0.0,0.3302466094919082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370568126013746,0.0,0.1106493099669152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508751746135618,0.0,0.0,0.11489149833711547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4947615423844247,0.14728653942699824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750148882415192,0.1293269804520938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275956689086688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255435821873309,0.0,0.08178101535677622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724925098347126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476817037715205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964523455545548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563464885921438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449629218738804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883426012671215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22156068325386272,0.14231961211728206,0.0,0.2037046503830621,0.0,0.0,0.2406117131802684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559998170008607,0.09220455325213772,0.0,0.1142395891480808,0.1678171178833038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485647563098068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476005453197433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NowThatWeAreMen,2019/01/24,I always hate change. I have made myself sick with it. I’ve tried breathing and exercise but they never seem to help. What is something that could help me get over this. Or at least lighten it up?,1.0684615384615377,3.623828153846155,1.6725128205128217,96.96415384615385,87.97435897435898,4.1456410256410265,18.056410256410253,5.6839178017228535,-0.4275066666666669,154,4,32,1,5,47,35,39,0.243,0.757,0.0,-0.8509,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,1,8,7,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,5,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,1,23,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794437215448709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552715676290805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681389338327788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754612439732327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33157002414947145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4502096234620036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177775833663889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590186005612017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30573386669812896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585441318409579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22801163236814226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Schmutzf1nk,2019/01/24,"The feeling of dread is new to me and I don't know what to do with it. So I have been dealing with feeling down for years (am currently trying to find a therapist). But what is new for me is the feeling of dread. I don't know how to describe the feeling exactly, because I have never felt it before. But it is like ""something is very very wrong"". Like something bad and rotten is in the back of my head and I can just sense it? (To be clear, not in my head like a tumor or something, but more like a memory). 

Last time I felt it was when my bf tried to kiss my nose and I did not want to. But he still tried. Like mockingly, absolutely harmless. But it then hit me. Absolute dread, deep inside. I was shocked, because I love him and couldn't understand why he would trigger something like this. Out of nowhere.
In addition to that my dreams are getting bad. 

Typing this out I feel like I am crazy. I want to stuff it back deep down and don't think about it. I got tingles all of my body like I want to run away and am feeling sick. Have anybody sensed the same or something similar? Any thoughts about that?

Thanks in beforehand. ",0.7457625748018764,3.1003903755458566,2.042668607472102,95.52411289018278,86.29257641921396,5.313989972505256,22.45528060811904,6.775458762138228,0.5433220443150573,872,32,192,11,27,278,114,229,0.128,0.674,0.197,0.9521,1,0,5,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,0,0,9,21,1,3,8,0,25,8,4,2,4,48,46,18,0,5,10,0,8,8,1,1,2,0,0,0,15,12,0,0,14,1,0,1,7,9,0,0,8,10,24,12,30,34,3,24,0,0,0,2,6,11,0,2,20,130,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290122807343398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072007308558534,0.16486387574299555,0.17901885572328685,0.13069903252479767,0.0,0.09122124639927094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907756858870748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052084579446604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252281699342749,0.07658533188100262,0.20586200510361696,0.0,0.0979809438710066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056008767880372776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573945825433446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200409389573405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783114151862363,0.08738416815637834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189889610053382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675424521442223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268100890555916,0.2070732644918379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4126477716447115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561188110779984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272096528950333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986974584427494,0.0,0.12447011234249533,0.0,0.06869089384671309,0.0,0.08510663751934616,0.06251051289550116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21834993817689535,0.0,0.0,0.11160135654522904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769062200248071,0.18969205081266274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673338550952387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615342554811369,0.11720886677718882,0.0,0.06903475502356082
mentalhealth,EN69,2019/01/24,"Difficulty with eye contact? I cant make eye contact with people, i feel very awkward and paranoid about it. It affects my confidence. How do i get around this? Theres no reason for this other than i cant do it.",1.0527906976744212,3.4577742790697705,3.1314418604651166,87.92925581395347,85.27906976744184,5.300465116279072,24.879069767441862,6.742157984588678,1.06478046511628,166,7,33,2,5,56,31,43,0.21,0.7140000000000001,0.076,-0.5882,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,4,2,2,4,0,9,7,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,6,7,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,25,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44593050588342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532833295538857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617132559424677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343721172794938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472791431894477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5150355458340905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4133165626679619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NhanFiction,2019/01/24,"My Asshole of a Brother Is a Threat to My Own Mental Health Honestly, I'll be blunt. This is going to come off as a bit of a rant because I need to get this off of my chest for my own sake.

Anyway, long story short, my younger brother (he is the middle child) has been an asshole to me over the years. It sucks because he and I use to be best friends as kids. We used to play together all of the time. We hung out together. We told each other everything.

But as we got older, we drifted apart. It happens. It's normal, but the way it has gone pear-shaped is definitely hurting me.

Basically, I have fucked up a lot over the years. OK. A lot. I messed up a lot here and there. I fell into a long bout with depression (still am). I was long-term unemployed off and on for various reason.

I was a mess.

Conversely, my brother lined his ducks up in a row, got a nice-paying job and has continued to flourish with better career opportunities. On one hand, I should be happy for him. I have always been proud of how smart and adept he is at just getting things done.

However, over the years, he has become really arrogant and hurtful toward me. In short, he looks down upon me because I constantly am trying to get my damn life together. It's been a real struggle for me.

I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I don't have illegitimate kids to worry about and stuff, but I still have it hard because I am my own worst enemy. Especially right now, I am just trying to stabilize the ship.

My goal is to save up money, get out of this damn state and really get my life going. Chase my dreams. All of that jazz.

I do a lot of self-therapy things like blogging, writing stories, I also enjoy making videos and whatnot... At this point, this isn't about me getting ""famous."" It's to help me pass the time and keep my head above water.

For my brother, he thinks it's so damn hilarious just to make accounts and leave nasty comments or talk shit about what I do. He used to make fake accounts to do it. But now, he is just being blunt and is just using his real name. He knows I'll see it.

I feel like a damn bitch for just having to block him and whatnot. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he has found my Reddit account or whatever.

Ugh. I know it could be way worse. He has his own life. I have mine. In the grand scheme of things, I know part of me needs to be the bigger brother here and just ignore him. Prove him and everyone else wrong.

Nonetheless, part of me feels vulnerable to him just going out of his way to be rude and nasty to me. He totally doesn't need to, but he does it because it's ""fun"" for him to kick me while I am down.

Yeah, I get it. I keep spinning my wheels again and again. I obviously am trying to figure this all out, but something keeps hindering me. I really do want to solve this damn mystery. Mental health isn't some random thing you just flip to the ""OK, good to go"" part without something more to it. It's complicated. 

The way I see it, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of kicking him while he is down. I just wouldn't. I would help him in any shape or form. It's not like I ask him for money or anything like that.

Ugh. Sorry. I had to say this. I do feel better typing this all out. Food for thought.",1.4917819123657416,3.4054070913173646,3.2069147419446837,90.95601131071192,79.88323353293413,6.2771979849824175,21.231917118144665,7.325859861289817,0.5640184583214523,2499,71,551,34,63,830,282,668,0.183,0.693,0.124,-0.9939,4,0,4,0,0,0,107.0,5,1,0,6,27,47,12,1,29,3,61,14,4,9,7,110,107,37,0,13,24,5,5,4,1,5,6,1,0,3,36,32,3,5,13,7,5,9,11,24,0,1,14,9,83,23,88,79,24,69,1,3,3,1,53,37,10,12,22,377,119,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498916669992954,0.05721572146568942,0.0,0.0,0.04676070515068602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056585493631566675,0.0,0.06428344516386528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095842239178655,0.07594253067142685,0.0,0.0,0.0721617656132543,0.1216292891598869,0.0750705953348405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059232611527531336,0.0,0.07430759133406717,0.0,0.054901081575453266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922484694208064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601743304801179,0.07036768136559217,0.0,0.06736085170480341,0.07974240874961049,0.0,0.05744205761570585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04541683431133062,0.0,0.0,0.06570530077456875,0.061799099206400976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430481737341107,0.04912378320084874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314761621526512,0.07539428566176504,0.05312556331071295,0.06356961547771296,0.25147815543634244,0.0,0.15631674268017878,0.05767453410252976,0.10999094619289404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060806252941015285,0.07319872066705549,0.0615974923654043,0.0,0.0705699323562824,0.14618216631172898,0.0,0.0,0.092179807350006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472228757292777,0.07762423902052068,0.0,0.0,0.06823594802430008,0.18335720911916908,0.0,0.0,0.1133698446184813,0.0,0.0,0.0728093210349325,0.0,0.0,0.14570648572135186,0.13437509754449892,0.0,0.0,0.18255734940600324,0.057742993015358964,0.0,0.0,0.2338369099302601,0.0,0.0,0.13769805809575966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859240084911434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295906751404087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737243016298365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046595097312788665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22338852988695213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500257607308926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653304649769822,0.13215262291310814,0.07069907133072345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058722607380181625,0.0,0.054682521219926325,0.0,0.0,0.10958926143600296,0.0,0.07173404961418342,0.0,0.07058348743657678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058731178658843,0.0,0.0769737375278604,0.0,0.0,0.10982728372819422,0.0,0.0,0.07188526001540216,0.0787163539677217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526851220301754,0.0,0.0,0.07863565447673716,0.0,0.18273040111385624,0.0440600895017532,0.0,0.05458956575326454,0.08019167137706625,0.0,0.0,0.06570530077456875,0.0,0.14005521372665378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23755411254026434,0.0,0.0,0.04055777153047371,0.21832117399372328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628437958438048,0.0,0.0,0.06983142834919394,0.0700746330379339,0.0488467474743094,0.07518075353810698,0.0,0.1328419524656648
mentalhealth,rlightec,2019/01/24,"Lonely in a different sense I have been home for the winter break where there were 5 other people living under the same roof. Now I am back at school where I live by myself in my apartment and I just felt very depressed. It’s so quiet and there is no one to say “Hi” to. I wrote “lonely in a different sense” because I am not lonely-lonely: I know I have a good family and a couple of really good friends who are like brothers and sisters to me, but they all live so far away (like across the Atlantic). ",4.987313915857605,4.739178621359227,5.883640776699027,83.45549352750812,68.6116504854369,8.420064724919095,25.904530744336572,7.793537801064563,1.3084705501618128,390,9,81,4,6,129,71,103,0.078,0.84,0.08199999999999999,0.1136,2,8,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,0,7,0,8,0,0,0,1,12,11,7,0,0,3,2,1,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,4,3,12,5,13,7,2,15,0,3,0,0,8,11,0,0,5,62,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296843841641533,0.14974614777305453,0.0,0.11871416069802752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154805788244216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677327583576513,0.0,0.0,0.4069321503023638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835873513985422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18698482064778985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504587640745513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266841263927761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534415298559246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702623270619777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028420442993751,0.0,0.5158876719456557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319636031454919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501099843827202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475802026747268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548682789697864,0.0,0.19709136779675196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16068423022581266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Esela_Mindles,2019/01/24,"Could this be ocd? I do take medicine for ocd but never actually found out if this specefic thought process was ocd.

Years ago I would be writing a book and some loud sound would happen and I just stopped instantly what I was doing. Because of that loud sound what I was doing was ruined and I can't continue or else it will end up horrible. This would continue for months before I could muster enough strength to start again.

Now it's the same thing but adapted to other things that I have even some interest in? Away from a game 5 minutes without my choice? I'm going to keep dying and suck. Something distracts me? My luck is horrid because so. Some one put me into a bad mood? I can't continue this creative thing I was doing for days or even weeks.",3.172379969024263,5.176621550335573,3.6102013422818793,89.59348477026329,75.10738255033556,6.4638100154878675,26.226639132679402,7.321109707123232,1.2319061435209089,597,22,120,7,13,186,97,149,0.172,0.726,0.102,-0.9126,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,1,1,4,0,21,0,0,0,1,29,30,10,1,6,7,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,14,6,0,2,2,2,0,2,4,4,0,1,7,4,14,3,14,15,5,21,0,1,0,0,2,5,1,7,14,89,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.16947780242027788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394882533315118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16316958169783485,0.0,0.14500799547460932,0.21173640776909894,0.0,0.14778119356879593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27732425604658856,0.0,0.0,0.11200340030433867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802430350290724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507980022367514,0.0,0.153820920288984,0.17944852452178986,0.0,0.2294160593188087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042124108772945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870120753410837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357665437494192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436672694042616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862250155283504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394574908629436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768393560633444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17458728077205934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370038806583726,0.0,0.0,0.12292519776997154,0.0,0.0,0.1451966971438149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057894660532685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461378020145352,0.0,0.0,0.1378753412136711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930836663070936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16741260580162112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701125965521545,0.0,0.0,0.11183840276044273
mentalhealth,brbrb239292929,2019/01/24,"Alter EGO Since childhood I have been trying to show myself as something stronger than I actually am. A strong need to be more handsome than I actually am, smarter, stronger and all combined with a strong need to be liked. Last weekend something happened and it all made sense. Especially my anxiety issues from juggling my ego high. 

Although it is all clear to me now that most of my communication was/is about showing off, it is so much of an automatic process of which I don't have full control.. I still do it, but I'm aware of it straight after.

Will this awareness be enough for bringing myself back or should I actively find any kind of therapy to really get rid of the ego bullshit. Could someone advise me on therapies other than CBT which are more focused on coaching and creativity to bring out who I am instead of what people expect.

​",7.6530138888888875,7.744772662500001,7.4208333333333325,73.52305555555556,63.0,9.861111111111112,39.02777777777778,9.444778638647367,3.7313819444444434,686,34,120,11,9,218,109,160,0.04,0.7929999999999999,0.168,0.9493,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,6,5,0,0,4,0,17,0,0,2,4,20,25,8,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,1,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,14,5,26,17,9,16,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,2,8,93,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.3384677503217056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879015759834182,0.21072549119743492,0.1179322236824011,0.0,0.13266658675182208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335004076807655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945063925469538,0.13846255337462796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919024652803864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850364794360922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906053123712854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335561343696438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322880303743536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18100646293339454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805912798924048,0.0,0.14136125738427674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472473848445494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640951389236488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274843856415854,0.2571789412525959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022828242077754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109793030552728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434556394184825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693904656905776,0.2670159095735857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849423088601467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966440438944715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774147217464065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21072549119743492,0.0
mentalhealth,Bugsy219,2019/01/24,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me I’m going to try to keep this short. About two years ago I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. Within the last year, I’ve been to the psych ward twice and rehab once. In the ward, they said I could possibly be bipolar and also have something called attenuated psychosis syndrome. This is because I was having intense hallucinations brought on by drug use. Anyways, what confuses me the most is my anxiety. It’s so inconsistent. Some days I’ll be extremely anxious about presenting something and completely calm around friends. Other days, though, I’ll have no problem with presenting but for some reason I’ll have anxiety around my friends for no good reason. It’s like I’m two different people sometimes. I used to think I had multiple personality disorder. One of my thoughts behind this was because sometimes I’m super awkward in any social situation but other times I’ll be the most charismatic person in the room, no matter who’s there. Some days I’m unable to do certain things and other days I can do those things. I used to use alcohol a lot as a crutch, and it did work for a while but eventually I lost my girlfriend because I was always so mentally disturbed and I took my problems out on her. Some days I loved her and other days I didn’t want anything to do with her. Anyways, there’s so much more I could get into but I’ll leave it at this. Does anyone have any idea what I could be dealing with? It seems like more than just anxiety and depression to me.",3.543229680192134,5.875108136518778,4.590345089116422,81.48043862975605,75.14334470989759,7.753710024017193,28.25799519656175,8.626192665926032,2.348098571609152,1216,51,224,25,27,396,150,293,0.14800000000000002,0.735,0.117,-0.5705,1,0,4,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,3,14,18,0,3,9,0,27,6,0,6,1,51,48,20,0,6,5,0,0,2,3,0,5,1,1,2,20,18,1,1,7,0,0,3,5,9,0,4,13,1,27,9,34,28,10,30,0,3,0,1,16,13,0,9,16,158,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027078097469109,0.09677483589180924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241611267077225,0.07534829823497212,0.0,0.0,0.12315984023671987,0.0,0.2770946755503877,0.10230040246482708,0.0,0.06331755985231224,0.0,0.07451834112554481,0.16122476555931578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656028889043553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246590102619412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949442924390811,0.0,0.0,0.21690033588672525,0.0,0.0,0.3503995718626971,0.09335734164287596,0.1559882953844597,0.09191054547955843,0.0,0.0946098023491768,0.10378288915119106,0.0,0.07924453774168734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501405282538984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399238071527919,0.0,0.04731080042337421,0.0,0.05146400431937463,0.07595251593089596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222460124859803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048867993113942,0.0,0.0,0.04976618689374444,0.07381370982198925,0.0,0.09588375878325242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848035702222158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885054032828594,0.07698589118698464,0.08172864640105475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125727409154537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656771185192653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643720323862573,0.0613618285092657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277883852489369,0.1581367636140069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208618631755696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173296163864896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862094744276674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613772338820477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243708765810581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178664690838113,0.0,0.18461708301088306,0.0,0.13942600137986186,0.1791207189292654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032029315560964,0.05802343619888602,0.08896898232581615,0.07188987179618417,0.05280284698064549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006089809435932,0.061480316615232775,0.0,0.17691647259148932,0.0,0.0,0.3128388082873629,0.0,0.0,0.05341117767529266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592449207693445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900673615583433,0.0,0.11662779385442455
mentalhealth,Merlocked,2019/01/24,"Anyone have any tips on how to get more done/have more energy? I've had depression/anxiety for 12+ years now and I've noticed in the last few years especially that I have very little energy compared to others my age. If I don't set an alarm I'll sleep (actually sleep, not just lay in bed or doze) for 10-14 hours depending on how tired I am, if I don't let myself wake up naturally I'm exhausted all day and find my performance really suffering (like making stupid mistakes on exams or forgetting what I was doing/saying). While I was in university I could never get enough sleep so it took me extra long to do assignments, study, or complete readings which resulted in even less sleep and I ended up with a lot of autoimmune disorders that my doctors have said might not have occurred if I was getting enough sleep. 

Despite all this I fell behind my peers and where I wanted to be, I didn't have enough energy while in school to do volunteer work or co-op or even have a social life, so now while my peers are going to grad school I'm trying to get enough hours of experience to even apply. My energy levels are worse than ever though, there are only a few hours of the day where I feel mentally alert and I know I am not getting enough done. I have people telling me that I should be sending out six resumes and cover letters a day and yet it takes me days to even complete one. If I keep feeling like this I have no clue how I'm going to hold a full time job, volunteer, and keep up with everyday tasks. 

I've tried sticking to a routine, I'm already on a ridiculous amount of vitamin D for another disease, I've tried to limit my caffeine consumption, and I've even been doing moderate exercise. I get regular bloodwork and it's been coming up normal since I got all my medications sorted (I'm not vitamin deficient). Does anyone have any tips on how to get more energy? I'm sleeping fine but I'm just feel mentally fatigued most of the time. I know that ideally I should be seeking treatment for the anxiety/depression which I assume is the cause of this but right now that's not a possibility as I don't have insurance or an income (also I've been treatment resistant in the past so while I'm willing to try again when I have money it's not something I feel comfortable asking my mother to pay for).",5.517272727272727,5.747254212121209,6.6804978354978335,76.55503246753247,67.48484848484848,10.322943722943725,31.0021645021645,10.208560254849939,3.053042424242424,1834,67,355,43,28,620,222,462,0.056,0.887,0.057,-0.5106,2,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,4,26,12,2,1,16,0,41,16,7,8,5,71,74,37,0,11,20,1,4,2,0,4,9,1,1,0,16,14,0,4,8,2,2,6,12,7,0,2,12,5,40,5,47,53,19,58,0,2,0,0,7,22,0,16,31,240,56,10,0.0,0.0,0.07106632907071632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036378475519977,0.058237826423927476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904648473349544,0.07636296916880991,0.05571063891217115,0.0,0.0,0.10184134232750372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808119391614717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481095049822756,0.0,0.06273196623619166,0.15271046785259176,0.0,0.0,0.05814453739087533,0.0,0.0,0.18786343437068154,0.0,0.06272374293318729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346332965481335,0.07453908968753678,0.06372932022775396,0.14904975140235555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450100239150504,0.3762365251614264,0.0,0.2404998904403233,0.06587404273923271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123645734946298,0.0,0.0,0.1472892744497606,0.05202592676024928,0.0,0.0,0.06656038806038729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26633502641766577,0.0,0.08277582543702787,0.0,0.058244505390854726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515275911579976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226720344020808,0.12945974585052974,0.0,0.0,0.08004501891105764,0.059361789272819813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446811323810636,0.05143818642549355,0.0711568666715664,0.0729894061186494,0.0,0.06444750160297008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061912892071719176,0.0,0.0,0.04861100278201407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336314830236197,0.1467801872388883,0.07725541890709685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056166840413616616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135267051782848,0.0,0.08291131841489342,0.0,0.0,0.04934785071968861,0.055386409032038925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695193449864987,0.050487425605547066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209882275884943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284433253067323,0.0,0.046653319654021926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219183197354838,0.06927289519172489,0.057913064887976935,0.0,0.1474048171517453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024128247535501,0.0,0.4372633093572129,0.07423553432203969,0.0,0.056063954331947385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05475505497852347,0.0,0.06365193225888305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154982446186442,0.0,0.08492924913350616,0.08370119367807588,0.0,0.0,0.08091083811028768,0.1977725605793884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600879425628381,0.042953850736131664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05301719444837948,0.0,0.07421451461254526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379334189863164
mentalhealth,Guacamole_Goddess,2019/01/24,"I'm completely burned out and depressed, how can I recover? I've been overloaded with the stress of studying my diploma, work placement for this diploma, two car accidents, an appendectomy, and being unable to find work or to work at all the last two months which has led to me being broke and stuck at home with my parents who I don't get along with and are a detriment to my mental health, and I'm trying to work through my numerous mental health issues, and keep my relationship with my boyfriend going. I'm just so tired now. I can't concentrate on my studies, I can barely get up to shower, let alone do any of the chores I need to do like changing my sheets or laundry, I'm just so tired I can barely sit up, and I'm too tired to even watch tv or a movie. And I'm working so hard to get out of this awful house with my parents who are neglectful hoarders, and I'm just too tired to deal with any of this now. I have no money, and I'm too tired to work now for when shifts come up in the next week or so, and I'm feeling suicidal and depressed, I can't even buy myself makeup to replace my empty stuff, which is a self care thing I do. I just don't know what to do anymore, is there a way I can get over some of this fatigue just so things can get back on track again?

​

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mentalhealth,Foxxal25,2019/01/24,"Depression? I'm a 19 year old male from Britain.

I've had 4 to 5 week 'bursts' of extreme loneliness and anxiety since I was about 14. I'm stll involved in a 6 year custody dispute regarding my half-siblings (Narcissistic step-dad). 

I'm on A-levels year 2 after dropping a previous course. I'm really struggling with my depressive bursts. No doctors or adults aside from my mum understand what's happening. I seem to get ahrugged off as though I'm being over-dramatic or lying. I'm getting really bad suicidal urges, and though I don't want to self-harm, I'm struggling to ignore it. It's affected my college attendance.

It's gotten worse alongside my tourettes. I have high-functioning autism, so get treated like a child when trying to get help.

What help can I ask my GP for? I'd been told previously there wasn't any mental health assist available for guys my age.",4.026785714285712,6.022973821428572,5.034047619047623,80.34428571428573,72.69047619047619,8.847619047619046,31.04761904761905,9.424239791934726,3.068483333333333,694,32,128,17,14,227,115,168,0.254,0.6970000000000001,0.049,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,2,4,0,8,2,0,1,0,10,26,9,1,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,5,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,6,0,12,2,17,19,0,13,0,2,0,0,10,3,0,3,9,56,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613327253898618,0.0,0.119393483552616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590482293489093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303123246768789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26884653690862353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974474090426585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261615192563059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453430419977154,0.1380126025616324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658956130741168,0.0,0.0,0.20922149451216945,0.16489702205679985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624814897564651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728232715643378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637697060132932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999654809763992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420806957027774,0.1628155395324613,0.0,0.0,0.12910310685448734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263174867942997,0.0,0.1707157646138992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066768917709851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491320238198131,0.0,0.10596160544810794,0.0,0.0,0.16247486500507494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920544077670854,0.0,0.12519031825224666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904914398356487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30151280012171944
mentalhealth,ShadowWarriorAD,2019/01/24,"If you have mental health issues, please do not play this game. The community will rip u apart

The game devs will show you contempt

You will be made an example of if u break a rule

​

[This Blog Will Explain](https://shadowwarriorhome.wordpress.com/2019/01/23/i-was-made-an-example-of-i-now-understand-this/)",7.4105769230769205,10.866594288461542,5.258307692307696,75.88669230769231,67.65384615384616,8.006153846153849,23.861538461538462,8.841846274778883,1.829264615384616,261,7,42,5,5,74,37,52,0.132,0.816,0.052000000000000005,-0.5478,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,7,1,0,1,0,4,8,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978641233532772,0.3340449028977371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29221574199965444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869338967528985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5202516737415789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27704392588679305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30176786949856343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861902876994111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340449028977371,0.0
mentalhealth,remi335,2019/01/24,"feeling hopeless and so lost. tw:suicide i’ve been therapy for almost 3 years, i’m 19 now, and everything else (anxiety, stress, self harm) has gotten better but one thing that stays is suicidal ideation and every night i plan to die within the week or the next day and the next morning i let it go. i feel like i’m going crazy most nights because i just want the pain to end so badly i don’t know what else to do. i cant remember the last time i went to sleep without sobbing for an hour at least beforehand but still somehow i don’t self harm anymore nor do i abuse prescription drugs like i used to. I get A’s and B’s in university, have an okay social life, i have hobbies like art and music, i work and do well with my coworkers, i also go to therapy and see a doctor for check ins. and from the outside aside from looking anxious probably i’m sure i look like my life is great and i’m privileged to have the life i do. but i can’t shake this feeling that i need to die or else the pain will never end. i’ve tried so hard to get better. starting to think that i’m just not meant to be here and starting to see patterns and signs telling me that i shouldn’t be here anymore. ",1.2544879518072278,3.190229955823291,2.9100652610441777,92.67786897590365,80.76706827309238,6.077710843373494,23.226405622489963,7.1686216300943375,0.7537562248995977,925,32,206,12,24,305,139,249,0.183,0.647,0.17,-0.8273,0,0,1,0,1,2,20.0,0,0,0,5,12,21,0,2,12,1,20,8,1,1,2,39,48,22,3,3,9,0,4,4,0,2,7,0,0,2,8,13,0,0,7,1,1,5,9,10,1,1,5,8,22,11,23,38,2,27,0,3,4,0,4,4,1,5,21,120,30,2,0.0,0.11591900246781595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796806444114096,0.0,0.0,0.07823896888101171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484384654850057,0.11052620348939296,0.19405294171959286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168850879701978,0.05963957832836874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17305499866052998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309576738242094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20307548841542372,0.0,0.0,0.10013872214307204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345805385091763,0.0,0.2451868774142881,0.0,0.1733063278209722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824305808211318,0.0,0.08792818822057831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484056196950585,0.06989366043936969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022299625192145,0.0,0.16680641160931564,0.0,0.0,0.10786392193235088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876413406048468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634820447333158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053767801171655485,0.07974894443741007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004336961089047,0.2073122014072825,0.19118982348900435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431426423601125,0.0,0.106798943817616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254374174343778,0.07545672544983947,0.0,0.20809820832465092,0.1836238724833412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629582856849613,0.0,0.208207619753722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054831555120078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082848569206297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592436346549474,0.0,0.20412740953502173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790609916361652,0.09973091401812743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849686103916914,0.10427956543237878,0.07813151161924448,0.0,0.11207017006521637,0.0,0.0,0.2140321918748917,0.0,0.09220874773576708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551248995743631,0.0,0.22376671234595424,0.0,0.06499752144080093,0.06268900182163838,0.0,0.0,0.05704863392114873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664238441011397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449841093253879,0.0,0.0,0.05770587945025145,0.0,0.07847769149394082,0.0,0.08796581333954064,0.0906944363666156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943098763416278,0.0,0.07122536813807094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300281800213389
mentalhealth,ScottWoodyyy,2019/01/24,"Mental health is deafening silent battle As the cute title may reveal, my mental health isn't at its peak. Depression, anxiety, ADHD, eating disorder. One day I want to just shout 'til my vocal cords are numb and some days I'm glad no one knows. How can I just pile that shit on people and expect them to understand it, I don't even understand it yet. But I guess writing on stuff like this is ok? I don't know if this is a form of therapy or what. (Side note) writing this sleep deprived and over the span of like 40 minutes so sorry if it's all over the place. When I'm out with friends i don't know if it's just a wall I put up or what but this all seems so be suppressed. But that could be attributed to being invited to nights out and just drinking till alcohol is tasteless and I'm numb to everything. I wouldn't say I'm suicidal at all But I have thought what if a couple times. I find it much more easier to describe it using music, ""NF- WHY"" ""I'm not dead- BoyInABand"" 'Cal Scruby - my anxiety"" these are the three that explain it best. I don't expect people to read much if any of this but then again I don't know what I'm expecting to come from this. ",1.9652105470287324,3.6447006528925634,3.629905548996458,89.56312672176311,77.59504132231405,7.254151908697362,22.267611176702083,8.11559375814309,1.0356239275875645,906,26,199,16,21,302,135,242,0.095,0.775,0.13,0.9283,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,1,11,13,2,0,7,1,20,9,2,3,3,55,39,25,2,11,17,0,0,2,1,2,5,2,0,0,23,9,3,1,11,2,0,2,9,6,0,3,1,2,16,7,25,32,9,25,0,2,0,0,6,13,1,11,12,134,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675281246901826,0.0,0.0,0.13939115870417282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869760758679927,0.0,0.19955883954639933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687937229580285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235482691460696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413860471047597,0.14431951001832669,0.0,0.16823451358778047,0.0,0.1123400987330887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948531856591502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777280351037598,0.0,0.1334635577689668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614849871488699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11722304513935705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119211644853233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077072944423182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368454038341644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772842792238291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28672604366543114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274440754585689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26288770337003325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19176370389713845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240073364630435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176766951807091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084897718390736,0.0,0.1362727185501815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111926146657754,0.0,0.0,0.1304663772593831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372403053786483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873955727196847,0.0,0.0,0.13388563005161214,0.0,0.0,0.13052527652320028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600691635710464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931238210359066,0.14267043252663156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491593080265267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354770882760736,0.07605541208811556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715667099333934,0.0,0.1126505758779046,0.0,0.0,0.07693163078299388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769376312596005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IndividualAge1,2019/01/24,"OTC Lithium makes me feel content, coming off it gives mini (hours) depressive episode before leveling back into regular depression. Does this fluctuation indicate bipolarism, or does this happen with Unipolar treatment? Is this expected behavior, or a sign that it's not unipolar?

I've tried MAOI's and SSRI's, which did not induce manic episodes. They did cause depressive swings if I ever missed a dosage, or was coming on or off of them. Lithium's downward mood swing when it wears off is much more rapid, just like it's onset after taking the lithium. Then I level out back into a milder depression.

I'm not sure I've had a ""hypomanic"" episode that lasted more than a few hours, or couldn't be accounted for by life stress irritability. As a child I piled up projects I never finished and have a mountain of started hobbies that went nowhere. Still do. I'm known to on occasion be unable to sleep and possessed by a project like finally cleaning up XYZ or making something that interests me, which keeps me up a few hours past bedtime. More often than that (nearly every night) I just can't sleep regardless. But I am plagued with emotional fluctuations, anxiety, and social difficulties. Everyone I'm related to had a major depressive episode that basically engulfed their 20's.

​",6.5674046957838925,8.436708386266098,6.6703155768745255,71.65142640747288,65.99570815450646,9.945872254481193,36.02347891946478,10.194018383442646,4.154778035849533,1046,52,165,26,17,334,147,233,0.127,0.833,0.04,-0.9565,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,3,0,8,12,0,1,11,0,14,5,3,4,3,39,29,15,0,4,13,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,15,11,0,1,3,0,1,3,6,7,0,0,6,1,12,4,26,20,7,35,0,6,0,0,6,15,0,8,19,109,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318728878658099,0.14789114421051666,0.0,0.0,0.09310792539497738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717517275812087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356636635554818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502984230171088,0.0,0.2096850205364821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5241438342435751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130187306806132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690752786612426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009379135822586,0.10254604384055878,0.11629925632999852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061540304709880964,0.0,0.0,0.13332751127347106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675545842966666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076278765014188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595799193015703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818156633696828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921001006000983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596747259905269,0.11892285500156287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248492958546878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947095842260551,0.0,0.093870364602121,0.0,0.0,0.11421672327354672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618610220419673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435960789570587,0.12406816231652842,0.0,0.09369841343079552,0.0,0.0,0.08614706485400336,0.0,0.0971978765165052,0.0,0.13941855629604386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471036833178493,0.0,0.0915108796719338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263319706595741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282652087490208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789114421051666,0.0
mentalhealth,Matronixrl,2019/01/24,"Little issue What is it called when you don't want to do something because you have some feeling that doing it is a stupid idea. I'm not sure how to explain it. 

For example, ""I don't want to do this Geometry work because I feel like a little kid because it's shapes."" 

Whatever its called, I feel like it happens to me for a lot of things sometimes.",2.428750000000001,4.028024375000001,4.003888888888889,87.73,76.08333333333334,6.466666666666668,27.277777777777786,7.1686216300943375,1.3304277777777775,273,11,57,3,6,91,46,72,0.111,0.797,0.092,-0.0788,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,2,4,1,0,3,0,8,0,0,1,1,12,16,2,0,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,6,3,7,16,2,4,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,3,39,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620022037309419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40425454124513305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300265712140986,0.28282850432605816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504496246415113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22345945274470425,0.0,0.2066065193170668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193415008885768,0.3967922505122509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828850299812612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239021520347382,0.19577585697709227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865638603268508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315080055790565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335099846414857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410866603587166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,0haltja16,2019/01/24,"Worried I could have Bipolar Disorder I (17f) am diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety, depression, and Panic Disorder. My mom hasn’t been formally diagnosed, but she’s a textbook case of BPD, and my counselor has even told me that’s what she probably has it just from hearing me talk about her. She’s always doing wild stuff like spending loads of money on us and being obsessed with a new lover and getting 3 tattoos of his name (actually true) that she’s been with for half a year then the next minute locking herself in her room threatening to commit suicide over something minuscule.

Although I’m much more tame I’m worried that I am starting to show these symptoms. I’m a very impulsive buyer. My paycheck is usually almost gone within the first week after I get payed, and I have no problem taking friends out to eat to make them happy. I have trouble paying back debts to family because of this (owe my sister some money from before I got a job), and it’s not like I’m just being dumb, I just have such a strong urge to get rid of all my money. I can’t stop thinking about stuff I want/need to buy.

I’ve also noticed that every now and again I’ll just get really motivated to do stuff. I’ll start learning ASL or playing the piano or I’ll just sit down and draw a person in one sitting, or I’ll have a crush on someone and put everything I have into that relationship from the get go, I’ll even start thinking that I’m over my depression because I’ll feel so elated. When I get depressed I convince myself that everyone hates me. I feel so unloved and unwanted. Now I’ll just start crying and be unable to stop, I’ll feel so deeply saddened and often I won’t know why. I’ve started feeling isolated from everyone, no matter how much I talk to loved ones.

I’ve been kind of stuck in a brain fog recently and my depression has gotten a lot worse. I’ve lost interest in so much stuff, I just want to stay home from school and work because I don’t want to do anything. I cancelled plans with my friends over winter break because of this, I just feel so exhausted and drained constantly. I’m so exhausted that I can’t stay awake in any of my classes. I even fall asleep sometimes sitting in a stool with no back. My head starts to jerk very noticeably, I don’t even have to sit with my head on my hand, I just can’t stay awake no matter how interested I am in the subject.

I can’t keep things straight or remember stuff, and I get so confused that I often find myself desperate to remember something and have no idea what I was wanting to say. It gets to the point where my dad could be mad at me and say I did something I didn’t do and I’ll have trouble remembering what even happened.

My brain fog led me to drive into the wrong lane on the way home from work twice the other night, after I had realized what happened I had to rush to get into the right lane, but luckily it was 10 pm and there were no cars. It was the one time I wasn’t even tired.

I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m going to talk to my counselor and I’m scared. I’m scared of becoming my mom, I’m scared of being alone because of this, and I don’t know what to do. If I have BPD I don’t know what to expect at all.",5.280490266762801,5.040760505327249,6.131890170632062,81.89440338860851,67.99543378995435,9.290218697428504,31.44472482576304,8.916525866297963,2.3873525114155254,2520,93,525,39,38,834,278,657,0.226,0.6659999999999999,0.108,-0.998,3,1,3,0,0,2,55.0,1,0,1,7,38,36,4,6,22,0,52,16,6,5,4,98,109,43,1,9,18,4,6,2,3,1,7,3,3,1,32,32,1,3,19,2,9,10,20,22,0,6,18,9,71,14,75,83,8,75,0,5,0,2,28,28,1,11,30,341,103,10,0.0,0.0,0.055781920087385965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05723954117718805,0.059202649947304176,0.0,0.04571247484037002,0.04756340903011535,0.0,0.0,0.03887215766303719,0.0,0.04372881571979896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04703950085437873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790818399335673,0.0,0.1742272912601925,0.06313099890339086,0.048640698736643284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439872147829844,0.12762351631740068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617718744101535,0.0,0.0912784994150575,0.0,0.06278983344383547,0.0,0.0,0.19693437731385702,0.11603656542295294,0.0,0.0,0.1310253349486825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849105292708338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265299898558326,0.0,0.04816149683150514,0.1092415866174698,0.0513735693258606,0.0,0.05388729828981991,0.0,0.14451426302233067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052245082816580295,0.04862201489763697,0.0,0.0,0.08832652400330197,0.0,0.268783330786786,0.0,0.09745953970200948,0.0,0.04571771734556585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109643315278312,0.06085007061662447,0.0,0.05643569515021012,0.1173295196461781,0.0,0.06442579055016838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146764040214856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452900245955112,0.0,0.0,0.05672451947291664,0.05080826104287447,0.0,0.0595254840903574,0.1256590823439562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055852985545269636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062399135648958125,0.04859713514239607,0.051590986516093416,0.0,0.038156115674073225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389501622536495,0.0,0.0,0.12606206302649392,0.0,0.0,0.05520746904989253,0.06079249412676869,0.053642716481551264,0.0,0.0,0.1301587572803211,0.0,0.0,0.11620346377779388,0.0,0.0,0.06706735544956892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04991170170171564,0.0,0.0,0.054036618512790416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061630363505413614,0.054696366861211,0.0,0.05746365367749062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036619476238350934,0.0,0.05644063336532305,0.06137065491437321,0.19426039617800844,0.0488160827581866,0.0,0.09091512112246956,0.17168756757756454,0.05785105153435158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04843322381905658,0.1320184281876552,0.05653473415970725,0.0,0.2427575810214861,0.18278143536535926,0.0,0.09558007528258558,0.0,0.0,0.32718438614562145,0.06252601054207374,0.0,0.0,0.059413262246559115,0.04297875155691694,0.1378340839750365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037975929463841915,0.0732542736573575,0.0,0.0,0.03333165403501249,0.0656993735011024,0.0,0.054620793308734886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875891415068454,0.0,0.06295592793824846,0.09432936396420194,0.1348626445485402,0.04537257869249048,0.045851952668278836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051579863771538316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832293138719483,0.11610168340607785,0.058253017674821765,0.0,0.062497733841731025,0.0,0.03681048937614418
mentalhealth,JMTHEFOX,2019/01/24,"Really needed some help, suicidal thoughts and fear of being a pedophile. Hello everyone, I am from New York, United States. Since I was a college student since 2013, I have started to feel like I have thoughts about being suicidal and fear of being a pedophile.

I am very attracted to women at my age but I am also attracted to girls that are 14-16 years old. However, the latter part really had me concerned that I would become a pedophile, since I talk to people on Instagram who are 14-16 years old and most are from Indonesia. I mostly avoid talking to those people about having a sexual relationship and avoid requesting child porn as much as possible, but I still keep having sexual fantasies about them that I really feel bad for myself. I also have a sexual fetish seeing women wearing knee-pads while dancing to k pop music.

I am also very concerned about committing suicide for being a pedophile or going to jail. I even fear of being beaten to death and even losing not only my friends and family, but also my chance to start my business.

I tried going to counseling in Kingsborough, but the suicidal thoughts keep coming back and I am increasing my interest in getting mental help. Am I still being a very horrible and creepy person regardless of doing the right thing? I highly welcome any advice.",7.697889745109662,8.09804093775934,8.113612922347361,67.55254149377596,62.85892116182571,11.201066982809722,33.811796087729704,10.914260884657429,4.04538624777712,1050,40,162,26,14,347,130,241,0.213,0.682,0.105,-0.9879,1,2,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,1,2,13,14,1,5,11,0,24,2,1,0,1,31,39,20,5,3,6,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,6,9,0,4,5,2,0,5,1,8,0,0,5,3,26,6,28,27,6,24,0,1,1,1,16,6,0,4,13,124,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413087968729353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081347606705049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655065331732384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407050080520325,0.08043008959506187,0.0,0.10638701637745758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297828314312429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724783999092468,0.0,0.0,0.09204579894543677,0.0,0.0,0.09080972874307064,0.3251882852633632,0.09741294472758373,0.06881694199160637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442298964794672,0.0,0.05032755014019925,0.0,0.10949116204422206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291336302268595,0.10177611588829624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124200134866224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706113154511917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776670473651424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707624889878366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708123689721171,0.07142619854261066,0.0,0.09303445242418668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20216064996564687,0.0,0.0,0.07326199713934597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431413937838434,0.0,0.13356380003429766,0.08411013794495803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085956613403698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851310870717479,0.0,0.0,0.10342052213465032,0.0,0.08226382420823025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767611669515521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23905124424082144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636330379948866,0.0,0.15385577659027394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214700114431041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485004412981504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399622847725796,0.0,0.0,0.2294216814142573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540057850215034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384427562509792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842884583368403,0.0,0.0,0.12406450726733982
mentalhealth,Fairylove19,2019/01/24,"Any advice? For about 9 months now I’ve become like the laughing stock of town. It gotten so bad to the point where i don’t leave my house and room anymore. I lost a lot of friends and i already suffer from Severe depression and anxiety and i really would like to leave my house and just be normal and be able to hang with some of friends that i haven’t seen in a while but i just get so scared of someone recognizing and making fun of me. It haunts me so much because this has always been my biggest fear which is to be hated by everyone i can’t even make new friends Because everyone already seems to know who i am and i just don’t know what to do? If any one has been through or has gone through a similar issue, how do you keep going? How do you get better? ",3.475789772727275,4.177762681250002,4.4639772727272735,88.96511363636365,72.1875,7.5681818181818175,26.42045454545455,7.686295010490155,1.2255624999999997,599,19,133,7,11,195,98,160,0.18600000000000005,0.6890000000000001,0.125,-0.871,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,2,12,15,1,2,5,0,18,0,0,4,0,27,32,17,0,3,6,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,7,9,0,1,3,0,0,3,4,7,0,1,6,1,16,8,19,22,3,13,0,3,1,0,6,6,0,5,6,92,23,1,0.1339979721202696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094126752167765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29574018861075096,0.0,0.11149704715780312,0.0,0.0,0.1822464320560794,0.0,0.10250808190342793,0.0,0.13288998201410365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188270962139044,0.16336784016060987,0.1479902325208399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851031711067643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541225703803625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850439682046475,0.0,0.0,0.2560816094357172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078497228907942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310579502591336,0.0,0.14001681974099378,0.0,0.0761541355404285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229525578291204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092313378293441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985906912745202,0.0,0.11910355445541132,0.0,0.0,0.14728356225517136,0.0,0.0,0.283769009391156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092928135790358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627461554853913,0.1139202840838241,0.0,0.0,0.1788893738031719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695590293117507,0.0,0.09850392751267753,0.0,0.0,0.12941607646797168,0.0,0.0,0.13128956221451485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908004938034704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667139562586982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584253215441907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415534622762787,0.0,0.0,0.12198672120642055,0.0,0.15137956748954154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135360469376492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518831480460037,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,greasyfrogman,2019/01/24,"Hyperawareness Is anyone else hyper aware of their body...? Like breathing, pulse, every little pain ect ect. I constantly feel like i’m about to die because of it and I don’t know what to do anymore, all physical tests came back normal so its all in my head but I can’t stop obsessing and it’s ruining my life. ",2.3487634408602176,4.570805919354839,3.8561290322580684,85.82086021505377,78.51612903225806,7.359139784946238,23.23655913978495,8.344100000000001,1.5024107526881718,245,8,49,5,6,81,49,62,0.2,0.746,0.054000000000000006,-0.8539,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,4,5,3,0,2,10,8,4,1,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,1,6,2,6,7,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,27,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401742800086438,0.16933562777493932,0.2481387189666925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862189866809476,0.0,0.14762871057871568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26900379551415776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769857071082535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617070524152982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251341251440836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230761505499184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20404437288064825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224518510039796,0.17301113216259326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485432329932417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309401877257318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105661396242153,0.2366306730242937,0.2427247446577219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237281814622976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25769315694746153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024706228416326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rayjensen,2019/01/24,"I feel like my therapist is just wasting my time...he hasn’t given me a diagnosis or talked about a real treatment plan. It’s been over three months since I started seeing him. I started seeing him because my parents wanted me to because I was depressed and wasn’t going to school or getting out of bed. I periodically get really depressed and anxious and will stay in bed for a couple days to a week. It started with me transferring schools and not having any friends here. Even when I have the energy to get out of bed and do shit, I’m never really happy and day to day life is painful.
 
Anyways, I see my therapist weekly and I feel like he doesn’t understand where I’m coming from at all. I wanted to give it time to see if it would work but nothing has changed. I’ve tried to tell him about how I can’t make friends because I don’t have the energy to be social. I’m not happy so people don’t really wanna be around me and I get that but i still want to get better. He has just ignored what I’m telling him and talks about how I need to just be social and talkative as if I’m choosing not to be. He seemingly doesn’t understand that anxiety and depression is a real block that prevents me from being social during daily life. 

Every week I see him and he gives me this bullshit talk about developing social skills like I don’t know how to talk to people. It pisses me off so much because he really doesn’t seem to understand what I’m trying to tell him. I want to just stop seeing him but I think my parents will be mad if I do so I don’t know what to do.",3.1953564102564087,4.303447421538465,4.9041730769230805,84.0212852564103,73.24615384615385,7.755128205128205,25.849358974358967,8.212053250817874,1.5510128205128202,1232,40,255,19,24,419,142,325,0.165,0.777,0.059,-0.9889,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,4,21,16,3,0,7,0,32,5,2,4,2,62,73,28,0,10,15,2,2,3,2,3,3,0,3,0,12,17,0,4,11,0,0,2,14,8,0,1,4,8,39,8,37,60,2,27,0,3,6,0,29,8,2,7,19,170,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050961304272450346,0.0,0.057328371187627764,0.08466009581018974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671187879207002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827292445033116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627773462081664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927585912853638,0.06455358466428279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291892715705539,0.0,0.14498897663645444,0.0,0.19363536771603146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04949671107338352,0.0,0.0631396053577135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578313911391453,0.10707332383654657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579585841565727,0.0,0.19576349653544814,0.14377723981375792,0.04258973993726251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954858953675072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236937585814091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105863709417084,0.1098346925672635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05002257496424575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598158466151267,0.0,0.0550890194707381,0.05556655284028191,0.057797819923486815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190629428161091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974071523434388,0.0,0.16642248263456058,0.0,0.0,0.1039069711616684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705946945315855,0.19203217758656904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168517607277826,0.3583015918410282,0.13644387649105902,0.0,0.0,0.07692413038414786,0.06199057612694854,0.0,0.0,0.3055647790099929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912729952013385,0.07987533925742216,0.059846634107132674,0.06265262326165122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24093353237401216,0.19650079431505701,0.0,0.0,0.17402064232779368,0.0,0.04801808741195381,0.0,0.0,0.08739543494893308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017577520650706,0.0,0.0,0.234043410725155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680459941025267,0.0,0.1803353957094116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455671415750571,0.0,0.0,0.05323473956896278,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MissMurder123,2019/01/24,"What do people think about having MULTIPLE therapists? EnterWhat do people think about having MULTIPLE therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists?

Does it change your opinion if someone tells ""a different version of the truth"" to one versus the other?",10.95990990990991,14.536695081081085,9.63081081081081,47.981531531531544,57.64864864864865,13.581981981981983,42.06306306306306,12.45797560212912,7.459295495495494,206,11,20,8,3,64,29,37,0.0,0.923,0.077,0.4291,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374000162352991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332281564364967,0.0,0.0,0.27910967535759384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612442349524674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44223063795581136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702398595258616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27877074610507785,0.0,0.0,0.3703180778619887,0.0,0.4087323341677758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,W_Walk,2019/01/24,"It’s rules my life For context, I’m 18 now and in college. Since I got to high school I had a few episodes of physical anxiety and depression but nothing that was too concerning for me to get help. A few times during my high school career I can recall being in social settings or situations that made me throw up or get physically sick. I’m not an introvert. I love being around people and talking with people but it seemed that once it got to serious situations such as prom, nice dinners, and school events I got nervous. I got nervous to the point of physically relieving myself or having mini panic attack episodes. I kept telling myself that nothing was wrong with me and that I simply had stomach issues. Well about 6 or 7 tests later and many doctors visits they determined that nothing was physically wrong with me, but that I had anxiety and depression. 

Okay so enough of the lengthy context, my depression is caused by my anxiety. This specific anxiety that makes me fearful of certain social situations that terrify me. About a year ago I got a girlfriend and she is the sweetest and most beautiful girl in the whole world. She has helped me with so much but there’s still one problem. I can’t eat in front of her family. Every time I’ve tried I get nervous and have to excuse myself. It feels just like my high school prom and all those times before where I thought nothing was wrong with me but now I know that something is wrong, and I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse. I’m currently on antidepressants but I still lack the courage and ability to eat in front of her family in formal/serious situations. It’s run everything in my life. Now it’s to the point where every time I go to her house I hope and pray that none of her family members are coming over so I can isolate myself. It doesn’t feel right. It’s unnatural to me and not who I feel I am. It’s made my depression worse but for the most part I’ve been a lot better recently. I see a psychiatrist but I still have been losing faith and losing myself in this rabbit hole of confusion and paranoia. My girlfriend is very supportive but the frustration is noticeable. I love her with everything and I’d do anything for her but I also worry that this may ruin our future together. If anyone has any advice/words for me then please do. You guys seem great and I’m new to this thread. If you read this much I appreciate you for listening to my story and my current situation. I just want to know if I’m alone on this or if anyone out there has problems like this. ",3.3730597558753885,5.47498288777555,4.629347331025689,82.07187306431047,74.83166332665331,8.06341774458007,26.370969211149568,8.841846274778883,2.147312224448898,2027,75,386,44,44,668,223,499,0.197,0.65,0.153,-0.9797,2,1,1,0,0,0,36.0,1,3,1,4,22,39,2,6,15,1,31,10,1,5,3,82,67,47,0,10,26,0,3,2,2,1,4,1,0,2,32,29,3,1,8,1,0,7,6,22,1,1,18,5,64,17,50,46,13,51,2,7,1,2,29,23,0,19,22,270,96,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558263007812919,0.0,0.0,0.06522633593899851,0.0,0.050363577360049636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042827279127873465,0.0,0.19271234830825648,0.0,0.0,0.08807152735108265,0.0,0.05182562415468748,0.05606387620886275,0.0,0.07164669983042707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358973895472367,0.0,0.0,0.11139805313433963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469587421360766,0.0,0.05425007127646499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21697183933564854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446077129491827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888467225853995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507322990632276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612355948434407,0.0,0.11320134129862874,0.0,0.17811049121409464,0.07086789051130454,0.09553088461001118,0.044991579322430836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871040031883002,0.0,0.03579191518578806,0.0,0.2518467663694372,0.06943359625380664,0.0,0.062358237171705175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844258085204344,0.19961951484311974,0.0,0.06255148027208991,0.0,0.07266829133987031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573279185232894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692222520955448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896661295163402,0.061535853574366486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091280734506476,0.0,0.05354174289989152,0.11368041872849588,0.11918283398329617,0.08407676417523995,0.06384992576640275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092592324605381,0.0,0.0,0.060824657777909574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24171680691574174,0.07170100354735373,0.0,0.06706963915305067,0.04267560192205421,0.0,0.0,0.07389125083062273,0.0,0.06819916346858486,0.0,0.08732219319744465,0.0,0.0,0.06913106042173965,0.11906935366102712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052310505383075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299515970847475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062183292737288114,0.0,0.0,0.05378296775643608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25494886632018104,0.05018540539340372,0.11466582473107305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05209614912704942,0.35395021057650217,0.0,0.1283965183891741,0.0,0.04848363124945253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508832166108125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146682077409247,0.05935612989642401,0.0,0.0,0.05061942482418247,0.05504565007460156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0499975901229574,0.14689218576704596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042758007407118666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051963542073856665,0.037146125075375055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056624890492912035,0.0,0.0,0.07031281848040549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395733477866829,0.1283601630569025,0.0,0.2754267375947072,0.0,0.04055584248786903
mentalhealth,SurrealIdeal,2019/01/24,"Feel myself slipping back into depression. How can I stop myself? I've had depression and anxiety disorder most of my life to one degree or another, but the past few years have been the hardest. I just had a really good couple of months, but I can feel myself slipping back into that deep depression. Does anyone have any tips on how to stop it, or at least slow it down? What has worked for you? Thanks in advance. ",3.536410714285714,5.644199962500004,4.502142857142862,83.14000000000003,74.375,8.071428571428571,23.92857142857143,8.841846274778883,1.8568571428571432,327,10,61,7,7,106,58,80,0.194,0.7170000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.7751,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,3,0,8,1,0,2,0,15,11,7,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,3,2,8,2,11,8,3,16,0,3,0,0,1,7,0,3,8,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820078732405586,0.2131003940206105,0.15546748944608446,0.0,0.0,0.14210048675296388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125368122197678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22486592878208705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.525115293931073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329148359382739,0.0,0.17784462022656686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055145495381933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045649751928052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354467766629833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221321676679273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771133504760502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19400240679390165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130191909885849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398124120366562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18710338390913667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795109658244665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087101204068946
mentalhealth,Prehistoric_rat,2019/01/25,"Can you explain this? I have a sister who has had mental health problems as far as I can remember. About ten years ago she randomly started screaming and running and what not, then it stopped for years up until this week when she starts fidgeting and trying to run away and when we try to stop her she screams. I'm usually calm and collected, but I'm very shaken by this. About 20 mins ago she tried running away again, she also is biting me and my siblings when we try to stop her. Any advice would be welcome.",5.826666666666667,5.9609398019802,5.812623762376242,83.3709488448845,66.82178217821783,8.713531353135314,31.684818481848183,8.344100000000001,2.2335927392739268,404,15,80,5,6,127,71,101,0.109,0.8240000000000001,0.066,-0.3729,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,0,0,18,13,15,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,6,8,0,3,2,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,1,2,14,2,13,10,0,25,0,0,0,0,14,4,0,1,18,57,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16896946786530198,0.30655548955841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827918828088245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758738565657925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32491661362257473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837993964250484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425654762048584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545525565818153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958777481232532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447787055204201,0.0,0.0,0.4336913043558129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.469588767652108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19044023853818232,0.14267208158791714,0.0,0.0,0.13870110551231132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283307779089153,0.0,0.0,0.2227017727187252
mentalhealth,idkdjvdibdub,2019/01/25,"I can’t stop comparing myself to someone I can’t stop comparing myself to people. There’s one in particular that really makes me feel like shit even though he’s a great person and maybe I just admire him. I catch myself comparing every aspect of my life to his and I can’t match up in any...

He looks good. He has a great personality. He’s a doctor. He’s married to a beautiful lady. Hes very smart. He’s a family man. Has a nice house and car. 

Meanwhile me...

I’m ugly. I’m weird. I’m going to uni doing something I don’t even know that I want to be doing. I’m single. Don’t have a car. Live with my parents. Not skilled and smart like him whether it’s book smarts or street smarts.

He’s only 5 years older than me.",-0.8944805194805205,1.23917552597403,2.0815584415584425,92.6066233766234,95.68831168831169,4.877922077922078,15.441558441558444,6.574015621080383,-0.2375220779220779,557,13,124,8,22,195,88,154,0.084,0.669,0.247,0.9761,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,5,13,1,0,7,0,12,3,1,1,0,15,22,7,0,1,4,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,2,2,1,0,4,6,2,0,1,0,2,19,11,12,21,1,12,0,0,1,0,15,4,1,1,6,66,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152171466269625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829064002139735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360585265889003,0.0,0.15056194529823358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846188327091294,0.0,0.0903557820891868,0.12766288160216316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155898280280803,0.14988457196969238,0.0,0.3940334218649163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061951061346325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098208512643863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622066558716533,0.1746069932965393,0.0,0.1577948373715361,0.0,0.1500624829837402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192832320185458,0.0,0.17952755844851467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109133303440348,0.13590894038678894,0.0,0.0,0.1984245275597042,0.0,0.0,0.12388765830508185,0.31206683328993245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447940660020905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834323582701543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141141523848284,0.13757152269504694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988013872709189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755712456795607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744571360482242,0.10540153155087192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507654978502922
mentalhealth,rosey-arriaga,2019/01/25,"i’m trying not to self diagnose butttt idk, i’m kind of freaking myself out. i realized that i’m very paranoid and i have very intense delusions. i’m scared i might have psychosis or have paranoia. can anyone help?",2.0585714285714296,4.756290571428573,3.1383809523809525,87.52328571428568,83.76190476190476,5.2647619047619045,27.447619047619053,6.742157984588678,1.5078133333333326,172,8,31,2,5,55,30,42,0.266,0.637,0.098,-0.7501,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,3,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22742179746060026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33012108342930885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21800767743294536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33869698276463844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450379939989988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256311813634393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33930584145979525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208228514443051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5367292924873176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ashleylovelovelove,2019/01/25,"Early signs of Dementia?! My grandma had Dementia. I'm 27 and I've been forgetting very small things and my coordination seems to be a little bit off at times (often dropping things, bumping into walls). I could just be freaking out... because I also have had terrible eating habits for years now and have been getting skinnier and skinnier as the years pass by, so maybe these things are just a cause of poor health and lack of vitamins etc. I have also smoked A LOT of weed so this could be why I forget things. But I'm forgetting random things... today my dad had to jump start his car and asked where the battery in my car was. I confidently told him it was in the front. I have jump started my car plenty of times and should have easily known that my battery was in the back of my car, not the front.

Does anyone know anyone who has Dementia and knows of any early signs?!?! I'm freaking out over here... lol.",4.2826145203111485,5.590764106741574,4.798314606741575,85.04854364736391,70.85393258426967,7.724114088159032,25.490060501296448,8.139509932561175,1.4229493517718237,713,21,142,10,13,227,103,178,0.096,0.858,0.046,-0.8448,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,8,1,21,3,0,1,0,32,32,14,0,4,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,11,1,0,4,0,1,9,1,3,0,0,9,0,15,0,21,17,4,34,0,0,0,0,6,13,0,4,11,99,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522365205128724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724619294833307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205448538382924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743479041240126,0.0,0.0,0.1212669765338732,0.0,0.09613674577742028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217523829211165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620085690747959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518324721040633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801049056919126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613736701303301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588503387262225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239541754833317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763520527922365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334332592997426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806388188025633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340768829298479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843791561330628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357056313302874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232517045540535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5238677376718146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392048267107866,0.0,0.1494878305745429,0.150695831936022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012482167947545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230607084492164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031163219895251
mentalhealth,napkin21,2019/01/25,"I don’t know what to do anymore. Over three years ago (I wanna say approximately November 2015) I was diagnosed with chronic scoliosis and anaemia. It’s been something I’ve been fighting and struggling to cope with since then. My scoliosis can often almost “flair up”, if you will, leaving me in extreme pain or constantly uncomfortable. My anaemia sometimes will get worse enough that I feel almost cloudy minded. I’ve been receiving treatment for them since diagnosis. 
Close to two years ago (February 2017) I had a mild concussion and the immediate after effects were horrible. I felt like I lost a piece of myself. A month after that my boyfriend at the time was hospitalized for suicidal intentions. I was basically a wreck. I went to school, tried doing work. By the time I got home my head would be pounding and I would be so full of grief that I just went straight to bed. Looking back in my journal for that year I can tell I was depressed. All I wanted to do was die. I used to pray to God that he would end my suffering. I never harmed myself or planned/attempted suicide. I was just constantly exhausted. Motivation was none existent. I cried almost everyday out of pain and grief. 
Fast forward 6ish months, I had finished that semester was almost done summer break and I was starting to feel better again. My boyfriend was dehosiptalized at this point and we had decided to remain friends. I had managed to work through that rough patch on my own. I was too embarrassed to reach out for help because I was known as the positive one by family, friends and teachers. 
Now skip to September 2017 to February 2018, I was under immense amounts of stress. I was working crazy hard to get a scholarship so I could attend  postsecondary school. I tried talking with the school social worker about the intense anxiety I was having; crying during presentations, avoiding social outings, isolating myself in fear that I would lose my scholarship. But it never helped, we never clicked. So I trudged on by myself once again. The fall and winter months were hard and I was always really down but as spring rolled around I got accepted to the school and I earned the scholarship. I was on top of the world. 
Then in April 2018, my best friend’s grandmother died after being in the hospital for 2 weeks. She was like another grandmother to me because she had babysat me when I was in elementary school. She even told me I was another granddaughter to her considering how much my friend and I spent time together with her. I was so so heart broken. 
But things got better. I made a few new friends in the last months of high school that really helped me through the post-grief. These new friends made me realize that if I experience intense emotions I did in the past that it’s totally okay to get help. I promised myself to take better care of me!!
Then in August 2018. My maternal grandmother died. I started university the next month. I was done grieving at this point, in the past I usually bounce back after a few weeks. But also the seasons turned to Fall I was just sad all the time. No real reason. Some days I just lost all my focus and motivation. But then another big hit came. My paternal grandfather died in November... I once again was completely broken like in February 2017. I started counselling/talk-therapy at my university because the services are free to students. Some how I made it through that semester. I almost failed two classes. But managed to get all my credits. Everything sucked. I was in so much mental and physical pain. I still am. 
My new semester started three weeks ago and it’s happening again. I’m falling back into the hole I never quite got out of. I can’t work. I can barely eat. My sleep is often plagued with nightmares but I sleep anyways and for as long as I can to not have to deal with my real life worries. I go to class and will often suddenly feel the urge to burst into tears or throw a fit. I still am trying to see my counsellor every so often but wait lines are long, many students need their services because like them I wouldn’t be able to afford it otherwise. I’m so behind on work that I’m just barely scraping by. Im so so scared to ask for anymore help because I’ve already done it so many times in the past couple months. I’m not used to it. I feel so selfish even though I know it’s not selfish to get help. I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes I feel I should drop out of school and ruin my dreams of getting a degree. Other times I fall back on those old dark desires that I just wish someone else will murder me because I love my life enough to keep it but am not happy enough to want to live it. I feel so isolated from my friends. Almost half of them have stopped talking to me in the past couple of months for no reason and it hurts me a lot. I know they care about me they just show it differently from my love language and none of them seem to understand that. They don’t seem to understand that then texting me “hello” will make me feel so much better because they attend a different school so sometimes I can’t wait to meet up for them to care for me. 
I miss my grandparents and my friend’s grandmother so much. 
I’m not quite sure what I wished to achieve in writing all this down but god do I ever wish that I would not be so emotional anymore and go back to the bubbly, hard working kid I was two years ago. ",3.720208065208067,5.840691333976839,4.42385070785071,83.8483264693265,73.88416988416988,7.8090776490776515,28.016902616902623,8.615187464365352,2.1808836465036467,4266,171,811,83,90,1363,400,1036,0.14800000000000002,0.723,0.13,-0.9563,4,2,1,0,2,1,100.0,2,1,10,24,53,58,3,6,35,1,81,16,4,14,12,151,154,68,10,18,28,0,12,4,8,12,9,1,2,1,40,39,1,5,25,2,6,14,20,29,0,7,55,16,141,30,131,80,25,148,1,13,3,2,50,49,1,20,89,563,181,32,0.03806527042303941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497026201212753,0.0,0.22870121887052103,0.0,0.042005972464735634,0.030440783004701207,0.031673354337204536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974426503187825,0.02911982768439829,0.0,0.15100207926548204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033886160982483864,0.03558588941174734,0.0,0.0,0.1463492166319921,0.0,0.16242964878572852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03994715286842123,0.13466255339115432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043536528660209566,0.1164302403407254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03991071181648033,0.08227006878448488,0.0,0.030392021033552295,0.08423699542015688,0.08362582430462234,0.024548950361608386,0.0392436223657383,0.032785561637776704,0.03863544821173737,0.1580229638718544,0.07954021162451465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686196286713467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038950274647948285,0.03179864900963277,0.08563661156117984,0.03371453122396778,0.11799479950552814,0.0,0.05028350422460412,0.034432216375498516,0.03207163207306204,0.0,0.03421061059342194,0.03723513862646,0.03588454923252929,0.042834012001037466,0.13472861121504892,0.0,0.03654862903765686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23527306803083464,0.0,0.11932519625963806,0.0,0.04326674079182887,0.0,0.12177709634374018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033660992922607665,0.040521188186152836,0.10229701655388504,0.0,0.039065949284821364,0.0,0.0,0.04510752872843304,0.15308609029859818,0.04021804813030959,0.03818256988675032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04074965927251248,0.0,0.04111702409008248,0.0,0.0,0.03383416134552553,0.0,0.0,0.08367870852671798,0.031028275898742668,0.0,0.040305625186839715,0.0,0.0,0.05377325244715821,0.07438707351047913,0.0,0.033612331171626667,0.06737313296037131,0.031965240172020494,0.042585300884295185,0.08310547851998443,0.03236173168671617,0.06871078544834933,0.10805483776204314,0.025408863589047804,0.07718441925704504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03836083953927113,0.0,0.03843507193844601,0.0,0.21268334981464795,0.0,0.11192941442833527,0.028224915695393538,0.117433132798934,0.11029102612285516,0.04048284693598005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039943098041276416,0.08107654136900712,0.025794012375593124,0.0,0.1215123945936856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535043117567334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196796866499991,0.0,0.036456006852661135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097420128330764,0.0,0.08665322257933655,0.048771173899909086,0.07827487551344191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0302710308684834,0.038109976233578105,0.30819268700731384,0.030333092199987012,0.06930638512312097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297597009917814,0.0,0.07618552141220064,0.07760549904749905,0.03225258010296984,0.029304504872508536,0.11294257732449126,0.0,0.1077711773051958,0.0,0.06079794826150722,0.03182427052364162,0.043603638660467715,0.03979408550244835,0.0,0.083274455198826,0.0,0.035876066889743284,0.0,0.028620346076770907,0.0917862674376675,0.033270724144445665,0.0,0.04353095414995777,0.0,0.025288874256918118,0.0,0.03739893492270199,0.0,0.13317699177882125,0.0,0.0,0.03637299714054108,0.0,0.0775314598418088,0.041404083502701326,0.11155271430956658,0.07925457790849409,0.0,0.06575234383140617,0.04192351755007966,0.0,0.04490376546531594,0.0,0.09160099161493628,0.0,0.0,0.07057377408356577,0.0,0.0,0.13131954722434924,0.0,0.0,0.16627182133893226,0.038657129846793564,0.03879176256810863,0.1352023798128218,0.0,0.0,0.09805114453409401
mentalhealth,TheAbsurdWisdom,2019/01/25,"Starting a Mental Health Podcast. What are your thoughts in this topic. I am a Mental Health Professional and Consumer. I've realized that people never really talk about the trajectory of mental illness (non-linear) and would like to host a podcast with hope stories from successful people who have mental illness. It will include how they addressed their mental health needs and thriving in life. It would be an interview of the rough days, getting out,  get through, and thriving in life. Each story is intended to remind people that they are not alone and it will get better.

Would you listen to this podcast? Why or why not? 

Any feedback would be great. ",5.7680172413793125,8.361339767241379,5.3115862068965525,77.64203448275866,69.43103448275862,7.053793103448276,30.565517241379307,7.908726449838941,2.436847586206896,527,22,80,7,10,161,76,116,0.043,0.8109999999999999,0.146,0.9169,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,3,2,2,5,0,0,6,0,13,7,0,2,1,22,21,7,0,6,3,0,1,1,0,6,7,1,1,0,9,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,6,5,13,12,1,7,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,2,4,58,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928697198454311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488916565784026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104026216356953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050548307824222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956566864730676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376263020821434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3980676326074265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398506463850223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176343248944641,0.06098598106564301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6289999924448139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256039217276923,0.09627714165077393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596256968068525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996975140015508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835582135961882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003341988309492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910164261820273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22528060511930126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35470462858343,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wh00psiesdaisies,2019/01/25,"Having an off night I’m not in a terrible spot, but I’m feeling off. Lately I’ve been reminiscing about a lost love of mine and wondering if he ever still thinks of me and if I ever mattered to him.

I’m also self-loathing myself because of my weight and other failings. I don’t care for my home life, but I feel trapped. The longer I stay the deeper I dig this hole. 

I know these aren’t unique feelings. I know others get this way. It’s strange to be able to relate to so many people and yet be so lonely.",1.1963888888888905,2.9646436388888917,3.044222222222224,92.47300000000004,80.2037037037037,5.431111111111113,20.985185185185188,6.2581,0.12483407407407388,395,11,88,3,10,132,76,108,0.161,0.7190000000000001,0.119,-0.6989,1,3,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,8,6,0,0,5,0,6,3,0,0,2,19,20,11,0,2,5,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,4,1,0,7,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,4,13,2,12,16,0,11,0,3,0,1,3,3,0,3,6,58,19,1,0.20480723042462706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378426817575992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484858671486718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881462110428756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37051973070860217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31067006841426303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700332479016432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054383510767578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22511339533915106,0.0,0.2310314766940201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446614037182952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357128557911726,0.0,0.1848465216663702,0.0,0.0,0.20764238588465045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921977117312324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198754594119345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21365860813013088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829725716354015,0.1635593187773919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312322035025924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256644651918564,0.0,0.249400031268076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22210470490397727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gr8plan,2019/01/25,"I knew I wasn't ""normal"" but OMG! Last week I watched a video of a kid discussing his issues in VR as a Kermit the frog character. Someone posted that they were diagnosed with adult ADHD and had really successful treatment and finally felt normal. That post and others about ADHD sounded like me. I started researching ADHD and everything fit. Mind you, I'm pushing 50!

So, excited about finally having a potential answer, I tried to get an appointment with psychiatry...they said I had to do intake with a psychologist first. OK.  I've done therapy in the past and they sucked...reliving (and therefore reinforcing) the same crappy experiences over and over again...how is that helpful? 

This one was different. And dug deep. And asked so many questions without offering suggestions about how I might be feeling. Just had me tell it. By the end, ADHD, OCD, anxiety and depression. (What comes after trifecta?)

I only went for a referral but she said she really wants to help me. She really believes she can help me deal with past trauma without having to constantly rehash and reinforce it. And she referred me to the psychiatrist for medication. She thinks an anti-depressant would be good, but agreed that it wouldn't hurt to treat the ADHD first and then see if I need the antidepressant. I think I'm just used to having some level of depression...what I don't want is to be numbed. I don't want to lose the range of emotion but man, if I can just FOCUS. If I can feel ORDER in my mind. Stop the racing. Stop forgetting things. Stop feeling inadequate and actually believe people that say I'm awesome at my job. BE NORMAL.

Finally, I feel hopeful and I just had to tell someone. 
",3.5415293408360142,6.262376604501611,4.9707305064308684,76.7350989750804,77.16720257234726,8.646342443729905,27.403637459807072,9.271962702966755,2.969524839228295,1328,55,226,37,32,442,171,311,0.104,0.7240000000000001,0.172,0.9803,2,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,1,2,4,11,12,0,0,17,1,26,3,0,3,0,66,51,27,0,13,13,0,5,1,0,3,3,5,0,3,12,20,0,3,11,1,0,3,6,5,0,3,13,12,33,7,33,31,2,32,0,3,2,0,27,9,0,7,18,156,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.08024600654977446,0.0,0.4941309506132852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290681330380338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687527981746846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852933079863993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083508940584886,0.0,0.08886295471263178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477698605507641,0.14165160778839092,0.08346316310335497,0.0,0.08591433467666389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415129558313007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249928251353913,0.07283263295090528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390430042834854,0.08043811039345296,0.0,0.0,0.16631471242092513,0.0,0.0789550614206993,0.2702415124500269,0.0,0.139892012316059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04296252439459822,0.0,0.0,0.06897181593444497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535396785645662,0.0,0.0,0.08167435716280594,0.0,0.0,0.08803043877292471,0.0,0.0,0.08582824092575421,0.08160199853331705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702958479891293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04017411947158557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199592804080857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336975590633114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283950720636364,0.0,0.08723454458236554,0.16606059080806235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06097355799660184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417080046453502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572214020128942,0.06254070246868716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569983953320969,0.05700891461260817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750994420281156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921180129920274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803866515182152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644182762684986,0.06539372787489428,0.0,0.0,0.06552779736996805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934883523988206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058203824244308276,0.0,0.0,0.20624745442086465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374777590860144,0.0,0.09403879842032803,0.0,0.05463090334135607,0.10538115063982106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055829738214798495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102154694249567,0.0,0.0,0.14550667098956624,0.0,0.06596108718334866,0.0,0.0,0.07622935270318043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853631413460326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841484336579336,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Help_its_akward,2019/01/25,"Anyone else get post friend hang out depression? It isnt a big thing but right after my friends leave after hanging out for hours on end I get really sad and shit. But not just sadness, it feels like a mini depressive episode that can last on average a whole day. Idk just does anyone else get this?",2.406497175141244,4.809382559322035,3.0450000000000017,90.74569209039551,79.33898305084746,6.6451977401129945,21.69774011299436,7.793537801064563,0.959472316384181,237,7,48,4,6,74,47,59,0.25,0.583,0.16699999999999998,-0.742,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,0,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,9,6,3,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,0,1,2,3,7,6,1,15,0,4,0,0,2,6,1,0,7,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677323174741911,0.3923259101287693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346928934561895,0.0,0.32979088202026585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675390190828569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198635002749581,0.0,0.16956770654251518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680277647144878,0.13677178267614346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958272969316008,0.0,0.30007387212458303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885394984412692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560571477967889,0.0,0.2027177058548556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353270677106687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18335599657720675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226476507808386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349709186567565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19652047898527872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719074693048613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137468760460832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nullanix,2019/01/25,"Anybody else got problems with obsessional neurosis? Hi all,
I recently came to accept that I’m completely like that. I obsess over people I think I love and just make them my whole world. So it crumbles hard when there are problems between us. I’d love to read your experiences, even if you’re a professional. I’ve read some things about it and it completely matches who I am, especially from Lacan and Freud. I wish I could be different, so how do you cope? How do you treat you’re patiences? I had a breakup with my best friend this week, with whom I may have fallen in love with, and right now it’s so freaking hard to deal. I think about dying all the time and I feel terrible because I do know it’s not a reason for that at all.

Anyway, thank you!!! So much.",1.2290196078431386,3.6997179477124185,2.6870915032679754,90.93691176470593,85.20915032679737,6.01437908496732,21.5718954248366,7.3871296695380915,0.8133895424836597,598,20,126,10,18,194,99,153,0.134,0.6609999999999999,0.205,0.9433,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,4,1,1,14,14,0,1,4,0,10,3,0,4,3,31,23,13,1,5,3,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,12,10,0,0,6,2,0,2,1,5,0,0,3,3,20,9,15,17,7,12,0,0,0,3,14,5,0,3,6,87,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033673300877564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551881796697384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949266692228876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107538975988534,0.0,0.0,0.11831960095713975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277989355498026,0.0,0.0,0.1538003511410191,0.15482955360338238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237957639487767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787970579537357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496063749767632,0.0,0.0,0.07493054790774369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449310780713748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852302804413385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655026279079249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144268680387952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239933833630753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4012483756867535,0.0,0.0989196012108426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893849109200736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273797538096947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283600293269336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964650763003929,0.0,0.0,0.15236650477267935,0.14632215166437382,0.0,0.0,0.1265555299277092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643568402536935,0.0,0.0,0.0984524690684614,0.18991145742069146,0.0,0.0,0.08641220068115049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17825725305938078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887103266558435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545156161327082,0.1704139869288272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maddie_ash,2019/01/25,Life is better when I'm asleep And I cannot wait for the day when life will be better when I'm awake,0.2700000000000031,1.3330926666666691,1.8733333333333315,103.005,80.66666666666666,4.800000000000002,12.0,3.1291,-1.8661000000000003,80,0,22,0,2,26,17,24,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,1,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7514859944565498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739914239078965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6001645605669945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sontahmaria,2019/01/25,"Brother(17) cutting himself.. My mom told me that today that she saw cuts on my brother. I guess she tried to talk to him, but she dosent really know what to say because she’s never really struggled with depression. Her and my step-dad are leaving out of town for a few hours and they don’t want to leave him alone now so they’re sending him to my house and they want me to talk to him. I have BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, and PTSD. I’m 23 now but I used to cut a lot in middle through high school, and even a few times as an adult. But for some reason I don’t know what to do/say. Whenever I have cut, it’s always been a way for me to cope with and distract myself from the overwhelming amount of feelings I was dealing with. I feel like personally a lot of my problems stem from my sexual assault as a teenager, and growing up with our abusive father.  When I say he was abusive, I’m talking knives being pulled out on my mom, myself and my mom being choked, every one getting smacked around a bit here and there, and he would also threaten us if we didn’t give him affection. He was in prison at one point for 7 years though, so my brother really only ever lived with my dad for a year around 8yo so I don’t know to what extent that messed him up, although I knew it was bound to leave some effect. I guess he made a comment about it being more for self punishment, rather than as a distraction like was for me, and I don’t understand that aspect of it. I really want to help him, and I feel the pressure of everyone is expecting me to be able to, but I don’t know what to say or how to get him to open up because I wasn’t ever very good at letting anyone help me either.. ",5.420084451817224,4.642080352435531,6.1799879354546885,83.47128185794001,67.82521489971347,9.295792489820538,29.829739104207512,8.532816995589336,1.9643088825214896,1309,40,284,17,19,432,175,349,0.196,0.7190000000000001,0.085,-0.9924,0,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,3,0,2,1,18,18,6,5,13,0,23,0,0,6,3,62,46,29,0,8,8,7,3,2,0,1,0,3,0,3,12,23,0,1,11,0,0,3,8,15,0,2,12,7,53,3,56,28,12,33,0,3,1,0,46,18,0,8,13,202,65,1,0.08972339013508264,0.21261509126548725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292637302126988,0.0,0.07175176267485757,0.07465704818331358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273668055518053,0.0,0.0,0.15974567936716358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938909168789543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795470387320214,0.0,0.11300346895896494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250087548843017,0.15455724890075045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283077836478267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05926145298277631,0.16231988627641838,0.07559582592689244,0.0857345442854844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610052581558654,0.06409840784008408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375353629843762,0.08607085150146647,0.0,0.07525572274789531,0.0,0.0,0.19768085947648026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027939423930566,0.09479768783366413,0.0,0.0,0.08835946588244127,0.10352874572293178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972385149955042,0.0,0.0,0.2850123453547089,0.0,0.0917482453587884,0.0,0.08766863263301714,0.0,0.07922739729798704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525592355081057,0.0,0.08489844116663034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152488503771904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692002097437248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159778243023965,0.06823868128853564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834300347346491,0.0,0.0,0.0848176048402758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585316695075677,0.10488184164965768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299164048769733,0.09225058846839004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28540656427441696,0.0,0.09080486091988957,0.0,0.0,0.09360106385518192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937983684057568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21634878698689933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881527752571848,0.0,0.052318430324156916,0.0,0.08504728276741783,0.0857345442854844,0.0,0.060916292303711726,0.0,0.0,0.0934052133959242,0.10792619098285708,0.0774922013204798,0.0,0.07403119345501284,0.15876354046365504,0.07121825080918162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373692206213842,0.0,0.0,0.11555784310019143
mentalhealth,camhogan99,2019/01/25,i’ve never felt more worthless before ever. feel like my entire existence has no purpose. it got bad when i realized that there is not 1 person who would be affected if i die. ,3.108761904761902,5.014551685714288,5.142857142857146,78.9704761904762,75.0,8.095238095238095,25.952380952380953,8.841846274778883,2.2513809523809525,139,5,25,3,3,48,33,35,0.271,0.605,0.124,-0.725,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,9,7,2,1,2,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,3,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000278555748257,0.0,0.0,0.3057657231631594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729306863740472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250370647827461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168944644343885,0.2567074043670652,0.3450158123624834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28739124372415525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555184197225834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771395862013783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31375551670749224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25525969171867074,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,paleRedSkin,2019/01/25,"Should credentials such as those from spiritual or religious traditions, or just plain experience/vocation, be considered as options for available mental health care? The financial systems (public or private) might make it necessary to put a line as to what counts as a legit expense in mental health.

But, besides legit psychiatrists with their high tarifs, I would think that in most places around the world, there's plenty of people willing to hear and help out. Some might be psychologists of one kind/licence or another, some might be spiritual leaders of some religion or tradition, and many are just people with the vocation. And available for less money.

What do you think, r/mentalhealth?",11.105128205128203,11.126306991453,9.765427350427352,59.78096153846157,56.00854700854701,13.611965811965813,42.57692307692308,12.745084868956482,5.954117948717951,566,27,80,17,6,176,82,117,0.0,0.945,0.055,0.7399,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,5,0,11,2,0,1,0,28,16,13,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,19,7,5,9,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,13,0,62,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18072018190994696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342479680393692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571859669933368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663922352881812,0.19424686948851666,0.0,0.11552012983369213,0.1820933880776072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17947220888716295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504253123225472,0.17473215462594416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473691820435715,0.5484967456237513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678635149993108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389665262865676,0.0,0.1800652604545761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17325569063111276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22086517236472805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242990677470594,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imnotgonnatellyou111,2019/01/25,"Cant get therapy I want to die. I wont do it because i know that there is a posibility i could go to hell. I know its selfish and i would never do it because id hurt so many people in my life but at this point it might be best if i do. Idk my parents care but, idk if anybody else in the world does.",-0.2555238095238117,0.8146581142857201,2.782857142857144,95.8904761904762,82.14285714285714,5.80952380952381,21.666666666666664,6.42735559955562,0.07595238095238077,228,7,61,2,6,82,50,70,0.187,0.6759999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.3158,1,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,2,0,10,1,0,0,1,12,16,6,1,5,4,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,9,2,5,11,1,7,1,1,0,0,1,5,1,3,1,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892165936910361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489497975474445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418635845938444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894024214512072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461989280770741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20759452409832455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19816849674631606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393867613457613,0.0,0.13481869904648916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25395100019853434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26074195594582505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755687638467648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24050582041665594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25165499749126546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296018950306356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634068983977052,0.0,0.0,0.16445982875820314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22425141646597452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712839700584992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399196503256345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851566464924347,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jesus-is-a-bro,2019/01/25,"How to reduce tinnitus? Ive had tinnitus since I can remember. I'm pretty sure it's all in my head. Ive gone weeks without ""flare ups"". Some nights I dont notice it at all, some nights it may as well be a siren. 
I feel like my brain is compulsively making the sound as a result of some stimulus or process. I wondering if there is any way I can come to controll it.",1.2302747252747253,2.8772328333333337,3.5813553113553134,89.23269230769232,79.64102564102564,7.534065934065935,22.68131868131868,8.418075326091056,1.2480857142857151,283,9,65,6,7,98,56,78,0.0,0.86,0.14,0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,0,10,2,2,4,3,18,16,5,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,2,9,3,9,12,5,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,4,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150258430306504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24666124013851326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033500890119104,0.0,0.0,0.2478222178477193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589601193116972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172256763757966,0.15785182303582632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267657690045676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794849630824883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749060490746324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41470661061652797,0.0,0.0,0.2515611653091117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22479284415797246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25030136354023097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277802728189985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20824948698412624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538549087988214,0.17723848761230274,0.0,0.1986670023173409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21299479548253505,0.23961859000047836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alrightholdon,2019/01/25,I need help. Please respond I need some advice I’m a sophomore in college and I have been suffering from mental health issues forever and now I feel like that that it’s become too much and that I want to take a semester off because I’m done please someone give me some advice I want to try to figure all of this out but I just want to know. That if taking a semester off just to figure things out is not the rich choice I just am tired of all the stresses that school brings and having to be social I just want to maybe take online classes and stay home and no longer be a regular college student ,2.9090243902439,4.500467747967483,3.885048780487807,89.11635365853658,74.77235772357723,6.546016260162602,23.68211382113821,7.1686216300943375,0.8390396747967479,475,14,98,5,10,153,74,123,0.135,0.7659999999999999,0.099,-0.8882,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,6,0,8,2,0,0,2,29,23,8,0,7,7,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,8,8,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,10,2,15,19,5,8,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,3,2,68,18,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088167158558064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632318525270044,0.17451281193019186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170203752161222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989606007229419,0.11288443331076264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515803531432163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796030282083485,0.0,0.0,0.10591270294529063,0.0,0.15849980259663932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492439407400572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683974665904373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719711181124551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874517670907726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592398183896393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161576482690128,0.2343290972449215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469013845437309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991747084229768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107423250877945,0.13388380076865738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842070619463512,0.0,0.0,0.1810032205971961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564180632841452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049767364926284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816125613547593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728037353522274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37280036326565386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LilithWulfe,2019/01/25,"I'm scared. I don't know where to post this but it is taking a toll on my mental stability so I'll stay here.  My grandma got diagnosed with alzheimer's last week,  I just found out today, that she may not even remember me in a few months. I dont know how to handle this...at all. I'm scared. I don't want to lose her this way.  I watched too many people pass in my 22 years of life,  I don't know if I have the strength to watch her fade as well. and ontop of this, I have to be the one to tell my little brother (18) as well... I'm terrified. ",-0.4288292011019301,1.1883823636363644,1.8978719008264484,99.41529269972456,84.86776859504133,5.355647382920111,17.521349862258955,6.42735559955562,-0.5033641873278243,410,9,108,4,12,139,81,121,0.108,0.807,0.084,-0.4207,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,9,6,0,2,4,0,9,2,0,1,1,16,19,7,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,3,2,1,2,2,16,3,15,15,2,16,0,1,2,0,5,6,0,2,6,65,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756253645954216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21657778794514665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205503017272674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20261764059152249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779704992506695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046746876000102,0.15063218880340648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052582653362646,0.0,0.18521264499934847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20673778665584716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187352627199625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862294006600225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475012138198905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522154162987806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811324454963569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698205743590342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093361548460969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700230817879437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969663586064812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894247259899106,0.0,0.16151854577119046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516358681422425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899658910518843,0.14668127954759866,0.14823100826429805,0.0,0.3323049125397858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900160489136492
mentalhealth,bounie,2019/01/25,"Just called a mental heath hotline for the first time. I had a horrible, devastating night - huge and painful argument with my family. Left the house in the cold to walk around the neighbourhood but couldn’t stop crying. Felt too embarrassed to call someone I knew, so I googled a hotline. 

Ended up speaking to someone for almost an hour and he calmed me right down. I gave him a nickname and he gave me his name. It was a mixture of just listening, asking me questions and giving me good advice - exploring my feelings with me. 

Just wanted to say if you really need the help but don’t know where to go, I never realised how much it could help to talk to a total stranger who’s full of empathy - maybe try it.

Stay strong friends.",3.747976190476192,5.812531464285718,4.215714285714288,85.61761904761907,73.64285714285714,7.523809523809526,27.380952380952376,8.344100000000001,1.9266666666666672,575,22,110,10,12,181,98,140,0.119,0.701,0.18,0.9134,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,2,8,6,0,1,12,0,5,1,0,1,2,29,17,9,0,5,6,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,7,0,1,6,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,6,6,15,4,17,9,3,20,0,0,0,0,21,9,0,3,7,72,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154855447337949,0.0,0.0,0.16554385754947964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716963471258826,0.15455165748508853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376199141660722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199437481269186,0.0,0.1815959916765442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642423635130208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558487550450785,0.0,0.08359063710025358,0.0,0.15873289356968592,0.0,0.0,0.14062090195773488,0.0,0.0,0.12772563517045324,0.0,0.0,0.15858977626253104,0.0939550284381455,0.13866236972060675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22162069839728776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280666079775394,0.1907568048244588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908554156773909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796204011138132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608591769978465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666034327459222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152904428689106,0.1225825060216127,0.1275047892420415,0.0,0.0,0.15514139409852787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591187874255887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519596450191608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590807042237592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118217029778518,0.0,0.13146890725069185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28014978945216795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17620886585577933,0.0,0.1382147204689228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287775952171127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963992805319638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224126401286948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750987673354727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,antler219896,2019/01/25,"Got rejected by mental health care team **TW: Suicide**

Hello. Basically on new years eve I climbed onto the train tracks and my girlfriend followed me and I came off, the police took my details and offered me the support. I accepted and they got in touch with the student medical practice in my university city (Leeds).

​

I told the doctor about my deep sadness, anxiety, hate towards myself and self harm I do. Most of the things I was saying suggested BPD traits and I knew a bit about this from online researching. 

​

He said he will send everything I've told him to the mental health team for Leeds and if they accept me they can get to a diagnosis or even some mood stabilisers for my frequent mood changes I have every day.

​

2 weeks later (Today) he told me that they have rejected me. EVEN THOUGH the UK British transport POLICE were the ones who called the doctor in the first place. I felt terrible and completely hopeless, I still do but I'm trying my best. I don't know what to do, honestly is climbing on the train tracks not enough?",3.658149999999999,6.318032515000002,4.004000000000001,84.16700000000002,76.35,7.0,27.5,8.07648339933343,2.0328,853,35,152,15,20,266,128,200,0.081,0.835,0.084,0.5724,1,2,0,0,0,2,36.0,0,0,4,6,6,15,1,0,14,0,11,5,0,0,0,21,28,12,1,1,4,0,2,0,1,1,5,2,0,1,5,10,0,0,5,2,0,7,2,7,0,2,12,4,28,6,19,15,5,27,0,4,0,0,23,10,0,4,10,99,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370420676168673,0.37798169004729937,0.0,0.0,0.07932206079785181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881556453123167,0.0,0.11320190327432765,0.0,0.13059309310265654,0.0,0.10587840864656636,0.1185929810691433,0.10571819200660623,0.0,0.10968957232388286,0.0,0.10871629954350848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687104588020104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21226086505066416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713880546326726,0.0,0.13697166145560946,0.0,0.08736274049275262,0.0,0.09318929228681394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955802644245816,0.0,0.0,0.08819809908728411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054173400194339034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585967377031224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023717557447398,0.0,0.22043383800863506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05698494920007969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445610073034764,0.20898893215779532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014381008009676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026257984945275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833329047709507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863230634823593,0.08245792444197647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817059475392088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280644035142709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341930779570394,0.1176654335279846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888658968237088,0.0,0.10187424945865606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828536963415256,0.29723882179370525,0.11520267125113215,0.07039825507636463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317333358759799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37798169004729937,0.06677253495733615
mentalhealth,donkiekonkie,2019/01/25,"Please help me Hey everyone,

Nowadays I’m feeling really, and I mean really  flatted out. Nothing is fun and every single chore feels like an insane mountain to climb. I want to do things with my time, so I won’t feel like I’ve wasted another day, but I can’t motivate myself to do things. 

Usually I can really find peace in playing videogames, but the past days have showed me that even those activities can’t cheer me up.

I just feel sad. I’m just laying in my bed, wasting my time watching series or movies. I really hope this is just something people go through and that there will be brighter days, but I’m starting to feel like it’s chronic and I will just have to deal with it.

I’ve already visited a lot of psychologists, but it just doesn’t seem to help. I got diagnosed with ADD, at the damn age of 18. I’ve always told my parents that I should take a test for that condition, but they always told me, “nah, you dont suffer from ADD”. 

I’d really love to hear you guys’ experiences and advice in hopes that it won’t make me feel so lost and lonely. I’m noticing I don’t even want to write this, but at the same time it keeps me going, it’s nice to have a place to vent, to people who know how I feel, I think that’s something I’ve never actually experienced.

Thanks for reading, make sure to stay happy :,(",3.6660105654470736,4.601457557620819,4.88994325963608,85.22087067110157,71.93680297397769,8.191038935629036,25.68205830561534,8.532816995589336,1.5475531598513008,1029,31,219,17,19,341,146,269,0.098,0.6809999999999999,0.22,0.9887,2,2,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,3,11,18,1,0,7,0,19,3,0,4,2,51,52,16,0,5,12,1,7,3,0,5,2,1,2,1,18,12,0,1,13,3,0,4,8,5,0,0,4,10,27,13,28,42,3,24,0,4,1,1,16,8,1,5,14,127,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.09983335813055633,0.0,0.0,0.09996969563450588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289434263882304,0.0,0.1702492434887485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727403186052294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979316833486134,0.10547031028660464,0.0,0.10383579459044984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989881948934453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351408578810744,0.0,0.08619502436902622,0.09775528004815154,0.0,0.10007235285002956,0.0,0.0,0.3620937001407005,0.2192567019957532,0.0,0.0,0.09350345157028203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628275631324825,0.0,0.08182137225684206,0.0,0.0,0.10129644724963432,0.0,0.10890386854060316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530336372005975,0.0,0.13714362123081894,0.0,0.0,0.20322071338614892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093195990274094,0.0,0.0,0.056223271583107685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994081684172594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116762428851618,0.08697468981328545,0.09233281007719464,0.0,0.13657662393095274,0.0,0.0,0.11143839071425043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890268665058925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816286865867532,0.11647309566467258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359581569262492,0.0,0.09766016840595006,0.1418485887051488,0.0,0.1068852758050172,0.11229840888605967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233108185565004,0.0,0.3276908790634644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313317047613184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575163063640721,0.0,0.0,0.07241087102254458,0.10904180941220668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641974105906473,0.0,0.07691942280696355,0.0,0.0,0.094187223158016,0.0,0.0,0.13593166246573138,0.06555188603379124,0.0,0.0,0.17896180065951234,0.0,0.0,0.19551056009630308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267273859441625,0.0,0.12068238840251858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,clairioed,2019/01/25,"Inpatient treatment for friend? Need advice. Trigger warning: Suicide 

My friend attempted suicide a couple weeks ago and is now back at their parents’ house in a semi-safe environment. They told me they tried to hurt themselves again and are clearly still suicidal. 

They were on medication and seeking therapy before the initial attempt. I think I’m the only person aside from their family that they’ve told/reached out to, and I am pretty emotionally volatile... this kinda stuff makes me need to take a day off work and get therapy. And I’ve had years of practice boundary setting. It’s just the way I am.

Anyway, I asked if they were open to inpatient treatment and they didn’t know much about it. Is it okay to research options for them? Does anyone know the best kind of inpatient care for suicidal ideation? Anyone have any center recommendations? West coast is best.

Thanks.",3.625569620253163,6.8016574430379775,3.7720126582278484,82.08991772151902,82.16455696202533,6.45113924050633,28.153164556962018,7.7348632917899725,2.2640445569620256,708,32,116,13,20,218,109,158,0.13,0.7070000000000001,0.163,0.594,1,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,8,5,7,9,0,0,7,1,11,1,0,2,1,21,24,8,4,3,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,6,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,15,8,17,19,3,18,0,1,0,0,14,8,0,3,8,73,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202195787214444,0.10905512183667766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366189551984067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204527276923295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501269828211312,0.0,0.0,0.09459939641560547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468606067593177,0.0,0.2582163838551413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543320142319525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612592376645802,0.0,0.07934158925785299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766087751202637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838768582438635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597795930057865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900991575217228,0.0,0.06427600481411251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195548074696115,0.1317018724129807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811264231598912,0.13522373917740638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082120807150427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393574723612867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904382620705982,0.18244443326127788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356681316102418,0.0,0.0,0.13660580859438473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074215537296246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516166582593444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824871873602704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083533086441732,0.5382818835618721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925002376636027,0.0,0.0,0.11326580737424012,0.2813818948096235,0.0,0.0,0.07883009019243642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351132212736117,0.0,0.0835265751450169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765230865088798,0.09868403258617836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956438978384867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922470738354581
mentalhealth,isosmellsucks,2019/01/25,"To any of the folks who are schizophrenic, I was wondering how your illness developed, since this is a very interesting and different illness it’s not the same for practically all that have it so, i wanted to ask if you’re illness was more trauma, environmental , or genetic based and at what age you obtained it. And for the more trauma based people how severe was the trauma(s)?

Thanks for your time :)",4.286930501930502,6.906239391891893,5.116640926640926,77.20770270270273,74.0,8.552895752895754,28.138996138996138,9.23628265651192,2.7883536679536682,321,13,56,8,7,104,53,74,0.195,0.703,0.102,-0.7902,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,1,3,4,0,0,5,0,6,4,0,2,1,12,10,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,5,2,7,7,4,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,2,43,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365921018424477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32525077104765354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634940082687206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24119838624804965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930415497772875,0.0,0.2877964155290999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203106416253514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20287029483643929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870638501625182,0.2052075216042756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37729574129780413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jengaman64,2019/01/25,"I don't know if I'm just lazy or have anxiety or depression or what, but I can never do school work. When it comes to school work I always delay everything untill the last second and when I comes time to do it I just open everything but never do it. I can sit for hours with everything open but I'd just be on my phone avoiding the work. I just keep getting stuck in a limbo where I really don't want to do this assignment and I'd rather play games or something, but I know I need to do the assignment so I open everything and end up doing nothing for hours. don't play games or enjoy my time,  cause I feel bad not ignoring the work but I don't do  the work either because I really hate it and don't  want to do it. I just get really nervous about not doing the work but I barely can bring myself to do it until it's too late and I'm screwed. Does experience something like this? Is there a name for something like this?",1.7685248868778274,3.4204704256410245,3.648657616892912,89.33389140271494,78.07692307692307,7.254901960784314,21.21417797888386,8.124751697461798,0.9135490196078432,723,19,160,13,17,244,89,195,0.174,0.7290000000000001,0.097,-0.9274,0,1,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,6,13,12,2,2,8,0,21,1,0,1,2,46,37,22,0,5,21,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,11,0,4,3,4,0,3,9,7,0,1,1,1,19,5,16,35,1,25,0,1,0,1,4,7,1,6,16,110,30,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776337451701628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988162698122583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810153292413072,0.07162248574643082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069741216562517,0.0,0.2024191895529812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119632758251068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281869137254948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406369681037413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4223796065668869,0.11493044797139453,0.0,0.0,0.05940786124038028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227702180098708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599975934451585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314133699467469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443294865067032,0.0,0.0,0.12914187795999307,0.09577226728218446,0.132536931990147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480203911158658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711938036189408,0.1812352935578273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112737455928572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258065796654819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378178575793438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713549617498108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702192686118486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860052818129764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5132166984312887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,useridjeff,2019/01/25,"My thoughts on medication for depression   I wanted to share my thoughts about anti-depressants. I speak on this topic because it is something that I know first-hand; I know what I’m talking about. 

I over-heard someone tell another person leaving the doctors office that “Drugs are a crutch”. Well, maybe that statement is true, maybe not. For me, its’ a part of my day, like taking vitamins in the morning. It’s just another thing I do that’s helps me be a better me.  

Crutch!? If you break your leg, you might need to use crutches, till you are able to recover to the point you don’t need them. If you have high blood pressure, you would take a medication for that. It wouldn’t be the only action that you would take, you would be told to get out and be more active. Also true advice for depression. Anti-depressants is a part of someone’s help with depression. Other actions will help; therapy, physical activity, personal and possibly spiritual growth. What we need is different for everyone, and what might be needed at one point in your life might not be what’s needed at a different time, but these are some of the basics that a lot of people find helpful.  

Personally, I seriously a taking my life for the first time over 40 years ago. I was to young for anti-depressants and options didn’t really exist. I would have been given a drug that kept me from wanting to hurt myself but kept me from being me and living a meaningful life. Today, there is so much more choices and knowledge.  

My advice:

Find a doctor who knows what they are doing, either a psychiatrist or a really well-trained doctor. You want to find the best doctor you can; it’s your mind, after all. After you find someone, take their advice, but keep in mind. The person who knows best about what’s happening is you. If you don’t like the effect it’s having, talk to your doctor. They have many different choices, and sometimes it takes a combination of more than one; It does for me. I think the goal is to help you, not to make you not feel like yourself. 

Good luck – and good thoughts.",4.717138981270786,6.1825656675126925,5.3421232277262405,80.96073604060916,69.98984771573603,8.480168037808507,27.037983546297927,8.939507131559953,2.0916137931034484,1619,53,304,30,29,522,184,394,0.038,0.8079999999999999,0.154,0.992,3,0,3,0,0,2,59.0,1,19,4,6,8,19,0,1,24,0,39,15,2,3,3,71,72,18,0,16,13,0,1,3,0,9,13,1,0,4,28,11,0,3,17,0,0,3,8,6,1,3,10,2,47,13,43,46,12,27,0,4,0,0,41,12,0,11,14,220,75,6,0.061649239923164637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18072877125427989,0.05464833148959965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04930087489329786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928920671137814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037580804449603884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939414768702406,0.05452374283969662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0397586596360718,0.0,0.3185904000618332,0.0,0.0,0.19323100304356594,0.0,0.3155030468166409,0.05394966530365797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298709194514142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058908490666720215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031171708057552174,0.04404222931920941,0.0,0.0,0.2253851536784887,0.10487762397023008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032209183381310624,0.0,0.0,0.10341691503834714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054516219264313034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066109300514626,0.06513580675696838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599678639765566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054796677055179495,0.0,0.0,0.13552323997944918,0.0,0.0,0.0652776436311003,0.0,0.0,0.13063404402706946,0.09035611380920223,0.0,0.05443740831858829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241197918499229,0.0,0.0,0.04115134636290585,0.062502653051266,0.12386989544771923,0.0,0.0,0.1242102467872045,0.0,0.1962003036296307,0.1244963161991982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045319284795985904,0.2285606512417197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355024093361198,0.04688702498271271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352023832442705,0.0,0.042739820599504784,0.21531895351548785,0.0,0.0,0.1165569170454644,0.06950025504485699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898816342757517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670560278265658,0.047460596802206385,0.0609726746509929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27811533647788056,0.09910264763707233,0.053884152993088914,0.0,0.07050127863667344,0.0,0.04095701565035675,0.039502343655559054,0.0,0.14682783063620788,0.07189633513850399,0.0,0.058436270990742126,0.058908490666720215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05324514938844754,0.0,0.0,0.1090869569502353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086014093399964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517540495324704,0.0,0.0,0.039700089260791036
mentalhealth,Cobra_547,2019/01/25,"Colleagues relationship problems Hi. I've been working in a restaurant as a waiter for almost four months now. The job itself is fine, sometimes lots of fun, almost always I get the nicest customers. There is but one problem.

I don't drink alcohol because of things from the past which involved some members of my family and I don't go to bars or other such establishments. The thing is because of this I am frequently looked down upon by my other colleagues who go to pubs to have beer and such things and I always head straight home, because that's what I want. Most of the time it is a real joy to work with them, but after the shift ends, all I really want is to head home. That makes them see me like I'm breaking the group and generally that I do not want them as friends.

So I got to the point where I'm considering to leave.

And also there is this teambuilding in a vineyard in spring and I really don't want to go. Simply because I don't want to be surrounded by alcohol and drunk colleagues and also because I want to spend my time with the person I love.

So for the first time in my life I turn to this page to perhaps give me some advice on what to do next.

Thank you in advance and I'm sorry for any grammar errors, English is not my first language. ",4.08698039215686,5.122804854901961,4.92794117647059,84.964068627451,71.0392156862745,7.549019607843138,27.5,7.793537801064563,1.5432352941176473,998,34,202,12,18,324,134,255,0.055,0.797,0.14800000000000002,0.9682,1,0,4,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,3,5,10,9,0,0,14,0,17,10,2,1,1,34,38,18,0,8,5,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,2,1,17,11,6,0,0,5,1,4,6,2,0,4,2,2,25,7,37,35,6,30,0,0,2,1,13,12,0,7,14,143,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039517035709246,0.0,0.2273722331952965,0.2130451252141233,0.0,0.0,0.17014147433619453,0.17703063693441867,0.0,0.0,0.07234093361291105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242363086676712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421029549454602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421965341879758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028405168436992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809707597055011,0.0,0.0,0.08218765812500597,0.0,0.05557830321999044,0.1020478175441579,0.18137182280035746,0.0,0.08508049344979443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21834977788304602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134123400660616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055641092266018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126393248864834,0.0,0.0,0.07513818262985318,0.05197109399532029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933103149052034,0.0,0.0,0.0904390787254041,0.09601062444069386,0.0,0.07100838226763409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491019315069212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313459417174652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208473076976521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101550182906807,0.0,0.09288548195884017,0.0,0.0,0.10056193603621402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20357945027253926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108186444607733,0.1362974045568397,0.0,0.0,0.11421054913972754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476978117291648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052109194998416,0.11908186624852247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793890278196604,0.0,0.0,0.2120191693020932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18609023399142288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570910987408844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376468282287728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488942810046016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jamiesam26,2019/01/25,"My father who has PTSD refuses to do anything for himself. I'm at my wits end with this. I know that he has PTSD, and for most things I am forever patient with my dad. But one thing I refuse to do is to do things for him that I know that he can do for himself. He is 64 years old. He wants me to do absolutely everything for him. He won't call to make appointments for himself. That is probably the biggest thing. I know for sure that he is capable of making a simple appointment. But when I tell him that I love him and the best way I can show my love for him is by keeping him independent. I will not allow him to become dependent on me. He whines that he has PTSD and that it scares him to make phone calls. I would believe him if I didn't see him just call the water company to pay the bill over the phone . I think that he is just lazy.

He wants me to fill out any and all paperwork that he might ever have to fill out.

Is this the wrong approach? Should I just starting making appointments for him, and just doing everything for him? Would that help him?",2.3007929292929283,3.774406604545456,3.604848484848485,90.98671717171715,76.13636363636364,7.4343434343434325,23.131313131313128,8.167268648758528,1.0353282828282828,823,24,187,14,18,269,104,220,0.071,0.838,0.091,0.8259,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,7,0,27,3,0,7,3,41,43,9,0,6,8,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,19,9,1,3,4,1,2,3,3,3,0,1,1,1,36,4,29,36,3,16,0,1,1,2,41,6,0,4,6,137,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348413354129176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102480045188802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355838486953192,0.0,0.13831365754610705,0.12883386718867595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760691284325874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873299161880416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104760347112187,0.0,0.0,0.22066580194858448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228651943784415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911881163564743,0.0,0.0,0.2024046304944556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22159967785539209,0.0,0.3277852784982164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302338336626982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288207899347458,0.0,0.08318846591160238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236099579768731,0.0,0.4305157216410971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229087748208886,0.0,0.09782748684961376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689341133671125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570417676947975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730166602398948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32623736445982954,0.0786625946711513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481947625366784,0.09744482031360144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17441689025269866,0.13422381137933262,0.0,0.07905637339294053
mentalhealth,Thehighwaymanofspace,2019/01/25,Need to work some stuff out Right now my life is in a low place. Things are super confusing with my job and I’m stressed out to the point that I wanna just seclude myself and not face some things. I feel like I need to talk to a professional about it but I already work in mental health and I’m concerned that I won’t be able to find a way to address this and it be confidential and someone I don’t already know. Any ideas. By talking to a professional I mean a therapist. ,0.4407575757575764,2.766237040404043,2.288106060606061,93.35215909090911,87.68686868686869,5.3202020202020215,21.381313131313128,6.816661863887847,0.4432888888888895,373,13,83,5,12,123,63,99,0.054000000000000006,0.898,0.048,0.128,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,2,6,0,6,3,1,0,0,22,13,6,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,8,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,10,2,15,10,2,10,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,3,2,56,18,5,0.17883479456569928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3946972856242536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161379281108728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042424551676673,0.1277596129706171,0.0,0.0,0.16345176236757575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900930239313307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188271521866524,0.0,0.0,0.17746593894496912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828292615938644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631630417495365,0.087369647330407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19480351849856087,0.0,0.0,0.1802234105296429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652074683260241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18684429727540766,0.0,0.16905668537857027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272393742239068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152614109467344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20485465295530894,0.0,0.2047230539279896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874812674605792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764098018136384,0.23761978214117416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195073585174792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26038772071190525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themighty_hann,2019/01/25,"Mental Health LPT: To avoid cluttering your bed with random items (nighttime medications, headphones, chargers, keys, books, etc.), keep a box with a lid under/on/near your bed where you can quickly stash these things away. You might be surprised how much this clutter can weigh you down. This might seem like a strange tip, but as someone who suffers from anxiety  while living in a small space, I constantly find this to be an issue. It sometimes feels good to have essential items near my bed (especially when I'm having one of those days!), but the feeling of objects loose on my bed can keep me from having a good night's sleep. Having a box like this gives me the gratifying feeling of tidying up, and it keeps things from getting lost in the sheets!",12.699280575539568,8.388653892086332,10.362791366906476,70.28130935251801,56.841726618705046,13.134388489208634,43.6273381294964,9.888512548439397,4.2126564028776965,597,22,110,7,5,178,95,139,0.099,0.7509999999999999,0.149,0.8217,0,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,5,0,1,4,8,0,1,10,0,11,4,1,1,0,19,22,7,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,4,0,11,3,1,5,5,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,3,10,5,19,17,4,16,0,2,0,0,7,10,0,4,8,74,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509253766542427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363265025131448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767072901271681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545702849064034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18236829461424373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480422429843253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945453890047236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543257747103293,0.15686351639024726,0.0,0.2743060418897621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381437084761153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067264890547054,0.0,0.4360329135560936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977546116998206,0.0,0.14439136964269111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17850166070065931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472944075790116,0.16478994370954247,0.3469382720499665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020619285589987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345267008696792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080554801376996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886268705692646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636383345070715,0.0,0.13855017052520152,0.0,0.1617257006819859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21727116587263384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stray_Pipette,2019/01/25,"Read this if you feel like you think slowly Hi, see below:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/SCT/comments/ajl92x/pretty\_dramatic\_recovery/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SCT/comments/ajl92x/pretty_dramatic_recovery/)",53.54615384615384,67.407239,26.695384615384608,-73.17538461538463,-33.30769230769231,8.276923076923078,20.69230769230769,8.841846274778883,1.2693692307692306,189,1,10,1,1,41,12,13,0.0,0.828,0.172,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,5,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894836869466868,0.4090089289023513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797047129549811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5726756692346254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4562249028731656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668481708905199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,odaxboi,2019/01/25,"Everything feels pointless and I have no motivation I just feel like I don’t care about anything except for my hobbies. I hate having to do things, i panic whenever I have any real responsibility, I don’t even feel like I love my family anymore, they’re great I just only care about myself. What do I do?",1.8527142857142849,4.462745699999998,4.2728571428571405,79.69500000000002,83.66666666666666,6.761904761904763,21.904761904761905,7.957251820313856,1.4474761904761908,242,8,45,5,7,84,39,60,0.135,0.542,0.324,0.9169,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,1,1,0,0,8,1,0,1,0,9,15,1,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,13,6,5,15,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,33,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053323206777908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195308657220403,0.0,0.0,0.18216143698135606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513850684715705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620700943538065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989452065027377,0.0,0.2086796737470656,0.0,0.33578067800435324,0.3162810241116367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440515454406299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185483931351508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629183817493974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19978715905491007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835519577811497,0.0,0.2597197168620809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519575500281861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706256988677452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,INFPgirl,2019/01/25,"Sleeping 12-14 hours a day on medication I've been taking citalopram also called Celexa 20 mg for about 3 weeks. While I was asked to half the dose the first week, I started on 20 mg about 2 weeks ago. Immediately, I noticed I sleep a lot more, about 12 to 14 hours a day, sometimes more. I will usually have a hard time falling asleep but once I'm asleep, just try to wake me up and see. I'm also off work so I'm not sure it's just the medication itself. Anyone has that happen once they were on citalopram and on sick leave?",3.0432727272727256,4.016655281818181,4.254318181818181,89.05147727272724,73.45454545454545,6.954545454545455,23.75,7.1686216300943375,0.6599999999999997,411,11,93,4,8,135,73,110,0.112,0.888,0.0,-0.8438,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,8,1,0,0,7,0,6,9,5,0,1,8,14,7,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,2,7,1,13,10,3,20,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,1,13,51,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802706156434025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24904163434040505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887569082695764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455673472195145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589967913426521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083946981430284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324464065587771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769338143621945,0.0,0.13948511216456175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30668495061960666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487385965223272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13237863408606784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31372184498409045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727627824790554,0.0,0.3316510348319009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408029804812025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31164386873097466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154000660009112,0.0,0.1102119733858788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675434482988686,0.0,0.11707415281082367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079545162601477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571651780890774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149199687731514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747022646471079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335835799791046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pawxy,2019/01/25,"I may have been misdiagnosed, I am looking for others with my symptoms. Hi all, call me Jack. I am a 28yo male who was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder a few years back. This is a story about how ""the game"" ruined my life. Sorry to make you lose just now. Yes, that game. [If you are not familiar click here.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game))

Other things that are important to note: I am a long time drug addict and alcoholic. I am mostly clean now as use can make my symptoms unbearable.

Here we go: Sometimes when I am hanging around friends or other people, we are having a conversation I think people are playing a game with me. They will say one thing but I process two. I get it in my head that they are verbally attacking me. I think that I am supposed to attack back, but when this switch turns on I mostly get scared and clam up. It is like a power struggle to see who is the most enlightened, or something like that, I really don't know. 

I've recently read about [ideas of reference](https://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia/ideas-of-reference/) which seem highly related at this point. I experience this frequently, and have typical signs like people on television and radio talking specifically to me. This relates to this nightmare I've been living as anything someone says to me, my brain rewrites into something relating to my life.

I've always treated this as a psychic gift, or a rebirth of lost consciousness from before our species had language to communicate. Lately was the first time I've been able to take a step back and realize these may be delusions. Part of delusions are being steadfast in your beliefs

I've texted friends after these encounters and said things like ""I've told you I don't like that game."" I've always been told the same thing, they say sorry if I had my feelings hurt somehow but they weren't doing anything intentionally and that they'd never hurt me.

For some reason I believe to bring up, to ask people if they are messing with me, ask if they feel this too, that is a sin and they will never admit to it. Thinking or talking about it is how you lose the game after all.

This is all in my head. I've researched intensely with little results. I just want to find others who suffer from this specifically. The closest example I've found is an amazing essay on ""language games and psychosis"":

""My own experience of paranoia can be succinctly described using language games. Effectively, my paranoia consisted of the idea that everyone was playing language games and that the object that people were referring to for certain words was me.""

Full text here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3196953/

I need to know I'm not alone. I want to live in everyone else's reality, not this solipsistic nightmare I live in.",5.7930346534653445,7.959858855445546,5.666819306930695,76.92082301980199,68.36633663366337,8.535148514851485,31.23886138613861,9.120678840339163,2.9143158415841586,2242,94,374,44,40,699,244,505,0.106,0.7829999999999999,0.111,-0.0975,1,1,4,0,0,0,95.0,3,5,8,6,19,25,2,2,20,1,48,11,3,10,6,82,80,28,0,7,16,0,2,5,2,4,8,4,1,1,40,19,1,0,20,12,0,4,8,13,0,3,17,9,55,12,53,55,12,41,2,7,3,0,44,18,0,16,24,271,95,2,0.07864928243646735,0.0,0.0,0.0857393269258556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840521641504508,0.0,0.0814569372216426,0.0,0.0,0.1308850068995885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944331618409288,0.07001453598464072,0.14705292441077222,0.17894982590109226,0.0,0.1814293303894972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669247465600651,0.08861080856499964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779861007847646,0.08030971088457102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982736611862512,0.0,0.0,0.0901388915264723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912081981317092,0.0,0.06570138342017345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030551961799588,0.0,0.15386817967387678,0.0,0.0,0.07953488069280568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188401929504318,0.06689903946245457,0.0,0.08623487868581016,0.12152848102486835,0.0,0.08218200788726386,0.0,0.0446981996820694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614337081966955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309728503937394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839136702277696,0.17757093329442186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864471775413066,0.0,0.08871981630994805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111046282409758,0.19212033334875706,0.07882724290919957,0.2083462719391545,0.0696021400076896,0.06604558891868795,0.17597685867817578,0.08585498250105597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499801349605786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058317446365201364,0.12131835037893662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05329478923837822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516950856207109,0.0,0.2726275478662741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434899359714643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867056604926573,0.0,0.050384744258776426,0.0808645613641808,0.07765667808588045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481347810153499,0.1876351984335861,0.0787416521971582,0.0,0.06267329534494065,0.07159935286969228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663928178185048,0.12109612015175733,0.07778615138661077,0.17608286515206534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082221306592601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349343744777184,0.05913447236825544,0.12643062808112712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20900435402963294,0.15118585339935728,0.0,0.0,0.09172205813895856,0.0,0.0,0.15030551961799588,0.0,0.0,0.08554783458089038,0.07682892075271999,0.0,0.0,0.135855455731268,0.0,0.0,0.09277876902734293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064755927107036
mentalhealth,swoleman_Guidosauce,2019/01/25,"I’m on medication I’m 28 and this is the first time I’ve come back to anti depressants since I was younger. I never had good experiences with them. 
Recently, my mental health issues ruined a great relationship. I’ve been struggling to get over the fact that I pushed another person out of my life. I tried to fix things but only made it worse. She basically said that she reached her limit and cant offer me anything other than a friendship. I’m not mad and I understand but it’s giving me such bad anxiety and depression. 
I reached out to a professional and now I’m trying to take control of my life. I started on lexapro this week and it is making my feelings of regret and remorse sky rocket. 
Cheers to whoever is fighting their own battles. We can do this ",2.6297999999999995,5.034265046666668,4.279333333333334,82.19300000000001,78.53333333333333,7.2,26.66666666666667,8.238735603445708,2.021466666666667,607,25,114,12,15,203,101,150,0.224,0.657,0.119,-0.9502,0,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,1,0,2,3,4,12,3,1,5,0,9,4,0,3,2,24,23,9,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,10,12,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,9,0,1,5,2,19,3,16,18,1,16,0,4,0,0,12,6,0,0,8,75,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786407608468774,0.1303274483805802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401944694484739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099885193594965,0.14224622870807613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467528869009868,0.0,0.0,0.19107691284601344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29346729920829645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666479850045166,0.0,0.0,0.08614079683741767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449109250370688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900778606119421,0.1634279887248373,0.0,0.14289264244717004,0.0,0.1878261255406711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810882077157379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177815010034389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406652559389185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120186153264587,0.11371881707888812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162308869740994,0.17168612359504706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313946696293709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295689567568709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14875465113893022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821319330072654,0.18290641374067712,0.0,0.0,0.16205449889932022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092627163303892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205840115142794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781006975859066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280919899794996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318179798458455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934020277435993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23133097809774245,0.0,0.0,0.17735419012846687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665515281307486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361474416950576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lmao_goaway,2019/01/25,"Not sure if my ADHD is resurfacing. So I have a few diagnoses but I havent dealt with my ADHD since high school because I've always been able to do what I want in my free time or I've had very active and fast paced jobs. I just moved and I'm currently waiting on a job to hear back from. I've had a lot of downtime and I'm finding it harder and harder to deal with myself.

Yesterday I had a date and I brought them to my friends birthday dinner, which I was hosting. I had a list of things to do that I made with my mom over the phone so I wouldnt get over whelmed. I tried to clean but I couldn't stand or sit still. I would forget what I was doing the moment I decided to do that thing. When my date came I kept leaving them to just fidget and walk around, and I had a hard time keeping one conversation with them without interrupting them.

It was yesterday that I recognized this, but I have since realized it's been like this for the last 2 months. I believe it's just gotten so bad that I get overwhelmed over the smallest things and cant stand being left to my own devices. I've had to put this text post down 3 times in order to move around and do something else. I just started with a new doctor and I have used illegal substances in my state before so I'm worried she wont want to start me on my medication again. I'm not sure what to do.",3.1244076655052275,3.8334002125435584,4.314513937282232,89.68856533101048,73.006968641115,7.412473867595817,25.49982578397213,7.554174236665415,1.0336231358885022,1059,32,241,12,20,348,148,287,0.08199999999999999,0.823,0.095,0.4006,3,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,4,0,14,7,0,1,11,0,28,4,0,2,2,48,47,21,0,6,13,1,1,1,1,3,3,1,1,0,18,18,1,3,3,0,1,6,8,2,0,1,16,2,39,6,34,26,3,44,0,1,0,0,11,13,0,4,20,164,57,4,0.12047965124633887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28958625610714345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002487212605863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21450486555723605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264141504338444,0.10059547635229844,0.07344327714807479,0.0,0.10251930946502384,0.1357393097793503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779662488049824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242092301912419,0.0,0.12228430993829867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331602821057122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064528900513177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011621856623896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308227969022463,0.0,0.1258912903239725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792610290151658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578932314896525,0.0,0.0,0.12729336633361749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391149270936659,0.10708784973333683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982069959706123,0.0,0.12757055478152993,0.13090149359784908,0.0,0.0,0.05886027193671185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024274910965374,0.0,0.11400075908538362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137057352852353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110431141783258,0.0961657081819077,0.2561016049584362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163599979299402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164012972240092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538620224235488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111532620553316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193183916289528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932402502666946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275112163263484,0.0,0.0,0.17055223451504095,0.0,0.09621520511523624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271012909631377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24012398049655576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21075796054029144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179777470425233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040557359162016,0.0,0.09940832992803607,0.14212403965043696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613808447508996,0.0,0.0,0.12235293406209945,0.0,0.0855852875153339,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RealMikeHarvey,2019/01/25,"I sought help for the first time today. I’m 28 and today may have been the most difficult day in dealing with my almost lifelong depression. I have dealt with anxiety and depression on my own, trying hard to not let it show so I could avoid any criticism and judgement. It has started to take a major toll on my work and home life  due to the debilitating sobbing and anxious fits.  Constantly causing arguments between my fiancé and I, and causing me to leave work early or sometimes not even show up at all.  

The hardest part is talking about it. Always feeling hopeless and on the verge of giving up entirely. Always thinking that if I talk, who would even care to listen. 

But today, I decided that it’s time. I don’t know what else to say, and I’m not sure what response I’m even expecting from my post. But I wanted to share my first step to hopefully becoming the person I would rather be, instead of hating the person I’ve become. ",4.772307692307695,6.057519087912091,5.689780219780222,79.20521978021979,69.65934065934066,8.457142857142857,30.48351648351648,8.841846274778883,2.5603054945054944,742,30,135,13,13,244,115,182,0.177,0.748,0.075,-0.953,0,1,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,4,7,11,1,1,8,0,12,1,0,2,2,37,26,14,0,8,8,0,2,0,0,3,1,2,1,2,9,11,0,1,4,2,0,1,4,7,0,2,1,4,16,4,23,19,5,23,0,4,0,0,11,9,1,6,12,96,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472076954512365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727437203111732,0.0,0.0,0.08469958559950047,0.0,0.09528188793455583,0.14070823214415926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27511564919815346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269889967822181,0.25589828947707266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459639183392827,0.0,0.0994445837251674,0.0,0.0,0.08032569294765993,0.12840757400503722,0.21455279500268526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040471579792149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467961314750047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297719975985637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118876213943005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948156355810392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157406759597588,0.12296924790433812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348453533824385,0.0,0.12493574427818133,0.123708173051628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845048513648039,0.0,0.0,0.13188251331041578,0.0,0.12736279028207145,0.08797471381143887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348776060878036,0.0,0.0,0.21750788764273046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928632260889815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904869637740488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318504665508688,0.0,0.0881584993381546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738872296804875,0.0,0.09364755303810234,0.2002202518208964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980784956620031,0.0,0.0,0.1452544676621325,0.0,0.35418200740977224,0.0,0.0,0.08456258679497274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346395719226967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135058145712368,0.0,0.0,0.17695623945896616,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Barely_Hanging,2019/01/25,"I become infatuated with people and catfish them, does this reflect a mental illness? I'm 23 years old. I'm in a long-term relationship of over 3 years. I've never physically cheated on my girlfriend nor have I ever had a problem being faithful in any of my relationships other than this catfishing behavior. I love my girlfriend and our relationship is great. I do struggle with depression but that's the only diagnosis I have ever received. 

​

Lately I have become infatuated by certain people. Sometimes it's because they're attractive, sometimes it's because they're very nice to me, and sometimes I just can't pinpoint why I feel suddenly infatuated with them. I can have 0 feelings towards someone one day and then a month later be in a mental state where I can't stop thinking about them. 

​

When I become infatuated with someone I get their phone number.  I either buy their phone number from spokeo, go through a mutual contact's phone when they're asleep to get it, or look for it on social media. Then I use a texting app to reach out to them. I try to convince them that I'm an old classmate, neighbor, coworker, etc. I tell them how beautiful they are and if they're interested in chatting and meeting up for some drinks. It only lasts for a day or two at the most and then I delete the app and never contact them again because obviously I can't meetup since I'm not the person in the photos. When someone rejects my catfish persona or ignores me I feel really hurt and depressed for a while. I have done this to about 7 people in the last few months. I think it's only a matter of time til either my girlfriend catches me or someone else figures it's me. 

​

I know it's wrong of me to do this because I am in a relationship. I have felt guilt but it wasn't until recently I realized how creepy this behavior is. 

​

Does this possibly reflect some other underlying mental illness? I'm wondering if I've been misdiagnosed and I'd like to bring it up with my psychiatrist. ",4.970863405506549,6.610584503875973,6.201562861979863,74.3690697674419,69.59431524547804,8.335347055154594,32.98307048026375,8.841846274778883,3.004343027710952,1621,76,278,29,29,544,188,387,0.093,0.7809999999999999,0.126,0.6425,0,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,1,0,10,0,12,19,1,2,18,0,22,5,1,3,6,56,42,30,0,3,12,0,4,1,4,0,2,0,1,1,20,16,1,2,12,2,1,4,8,10,0,2,5,5,47,9,45,35,7,52,1,4,1,1,31,17,0,10,31,197,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30832783925679536,0.34577961912871674,0.048378768933200214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346918457781646,0.2357111252952221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917609716979996,0.0,0.12254841649978974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451309365957845,0.07280261891219787,0.0,0.06969174372517861,0.0,0.0,0.059429728946186276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934175730257416,0.0,0.12870341036139166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791408388874284,0.0,0.06830715092344561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433716306639894,0.0,0.040431445324365135,0.0,0.0,0.07843393224524978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615861933257739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03909759629098788,0.1159798974963469,0.08025089215757229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034756221989876136,0.0,0.0,0.06295813115955512,0.05974107763343815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420812647791979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21508218433522905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135691899275567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097376691919834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493024115046462,0.0,0.048207430556301376,0.1623193165397357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796201020005845,0.06211815419719236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020153338354555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807296154749454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04557516963033368,0.0,0.0702438075008335,0.3055180789416103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058849117017259575,0.0,0.0,0.07251996416151593,0.2411123935176004,0.0,0.21108276502076814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059477613987851875,0.0,0.07437271043670599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062180947283287616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116940740360784,0.0,0.0,0.04148327455088962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048300517859579714,0.0,0.06949506536813986,0.0,0.0,0.06144355331406011,0.0,0.05869932076319051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419428354454321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715009649765119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778223814040562,0.34577961912871674,0.09162579423986407
mentalhealth,spitfire9107,2019/01/25,Is thinking about a bad memory from the past an example of intrusive thoughts or do intrusive thoughts have to be in the present? The other day I learned what intrusive thoughts were from reddit.  An /r/askreddit thread asked about them and I learned it was normal.  However Is thinking about a bad memory from the past an example of intrusive thoughts or do intrusive thoughts have to be in the present? For instance I was at taco bell yesterday and I just randomly thought of that time in 3rd grade I got my pokemon cards stolen (which I totally forgot about).,4.9156202804746485,7.359655038834951,4.683042071197413,81.87131607335492,71.4271844660194,9.626321467098165,36.687162891046384,9.994966539143718,4.1831713052858674,451,26,81,13,9,138,59,103,0.104,0.8959999999999999,0.0,-0.89,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,10,0,11,0,0,0,1,19,22,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,10,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,11,0,8,0,17,9,1,11,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,7,57,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033999508813576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864096892525376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11061065623105648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717332454220638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804474455082286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327454052800384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197951437196788,0.0,0.8169653025686343,0.10000966937857776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,urtcome,2019/01/25,"I don't understand what's happening with me but it's ruining my life (I can't explain it too well, so if anyone has any questions/concerns just ask in the comments. Sorry in advance.)
For about two years, maybe a little less, I've been having this weird need of love (?)
what I mean is that no matter how much anyone loves me, it's still too little to me. I constantly 'dream' about having an older partner to feel safe and loved by. It's not exactly dreaming, I just feel like I need that to ever be happy in my life. Like it's the ultimate goal of my life. It's the only thing that matters for me. Of course, since I'm a teenager some might think it's just that excitement and curiosity about having a boyfriend or something. Well, not really. I don't want a boyfriend. I'm interested in people around the age 20-30, which isn't too old, but it still seems off since I'm 15. I'm mostly talking about hugs and although I know it sounds weird I am basically addicted to them, being hugged is the only way I can release my stress and everyone who knows me at least little bit knows how much I love them, I could cuddle with people 24/7. But it seems more like an obsession than love. I behave like a dog waiting to get its' treat. 
My dad has been basically... absent, for my whole life. He was either kilometers away 5 days a week, or busy with work, then going out with friends or now, after my parents divorced about 1,5 years ago - having his own life, sometimes talking with me, mostly as if we were a bit distanced friends. He loves me of course, it's just that he has his own life and things he loves... more. 
I've also had depression for few years now, I don't know if it might have anything to do with it. 
I don't understand what's happening, my mum loves me dearly, my dad isn't and has never been abusive in any way. It's as if I had some kind of daddy issues but purely emotionally(?)
Is there any way I can stop this, or any direction I can go for to get help?
Sorry for an unclear description, let me know if I forgot to mention anything important.",3.8654825105432913,4.744447877697844,4.9306408666170505,85.32345323741009,71.42206235011993,7.957959149921442,26.369718018688488,8.216663640201805,1.5246643347391051,1603,50,335,23,29,527,196,417,0.065,0.698,0.237,0.9981,1,0,1,0,1,0,63.0,1,0,2,3,25,31,0,2,15,0,37,18,0,2,4,72,75,27,0,9,20,4,2,4,3,2,7,1,0,1,29,15,0,4,14,2,0,3,11,6,2,1,8,3,42,25,45,61,17,38,0,2,0,11,33,13,0,18,23,228,71,3,0.0,0.08476525353447753,0.0,0.07799104756489586,0.0,0.0,0.06341742861624201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572118970340205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19460332344499184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004728453693973,0.0,0.11774549896107316,0.06368730898639179,0.06688186176336212,0.0,0.0672158119899355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621008385220786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731119635708486,0.0,0.057120251399540065,0.0,0.0,0.04613849847964531,0.0,0.061618788726076165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047481896612142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647135922102892,0.0,0.06836119054171431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234729832373271,0.051109427457683314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054592896788673,0.0,0.07475520412770352,0.0,0.08131762966798446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652823423455992,0.07615750376211781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047952914757763976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467098082268632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449970448045395,0.19658732396235684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315626781609891,0.30319224525690586,0.13980670568448866,0.21511082970562875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5165536486483321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187328540627183,0.07792991905425913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178894348354266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518280906839936,0.10609457518286426,0.055177393934294224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507101285812419,0.0,0.0,0.1088214215811888,0.0,0.0,0.07943862671642801,0.0,0.0,0.09919605770419254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045831465290478574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302578113332958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836011959269573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055076320314756205,0.07075660201915927,0.16017022297496686,0.0,0.0,0.1142666387812648,0.05981209117059206,0.08195081200657837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500506805776335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505829530532424,0.04584105297757243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988587650060102,0.14895493161510506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04219716696913982,0.17035949001148498,0.057386461879978076,0.0,0.128649217321602,0.0,0.0,0.07987378859754549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052083232772696865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821158897964533
mentalhealth,Cpt_Cashew99,2019/01/25,"Mother is schizophrenic and is becoming a danger to herself. Need help deciding what to do I apologize if this is long but I feel context is necessary and I need to tell someone.

My mother(52) and I(16) live alone in Poland. For the past two and a half years she has believed that she is being targeted by a global surveillance network. It has steadily worsened to the point where she believes 99% of people to have some affiliation with this organization. This includes all family and friends, including my sister and I. She believes these agents to take pictures of her and write reports about her for money. She will get triggered at the sight of me using a phone, blinking/looking in the wrong direction or at another person, or looking at her, or simply my response to a question. Once this occurs she can become angry and yell or insist on asking questions, or occasionaly enters my room at night and wakes me to discuss something. On a few occasions she did physically hurt my sister and I. She has lost all her friendships and hobbies and interests, and is scared of doing anything out of fear that it will all be monitored and used to ruin her. She has stated that she would commit suicide if I weren't her responsibility.

My family has had trouble finding a solution in the past, as she believed her mind to be sound and vastly superior to any other persons, and that any psychologist or professional would only lie to her and attempt to destroy her. It has gotten severe enough where I think it is best if she is institutionalized without her consent, and I move in with nearby family. I am scared and confused, and unsure if this is possible to accomplish and if so, what I would do later?

Any help is greatly appreciated thank you so much.


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mentalhealth,jess7373,2019/01/25,"I feel kinda ashamed after i talk/ expressing myself to people I'm not sure where to post this, but i'm just confused. I've been suppressing my feelings from everyone, to the point where it's not healthy. I've dealt my depression ans it's been years. Well this year i decided to try to change that. I forced myself to do things, to test my negative thoughts. I mean are they real or just in my head? But after all the things i did, it didn't make me feel good at all. I feel ashamed, kinda. Like disgusted.


For example, my friends and i planned to go out today. I usually just wear a tshirt. But this time i tried wearing my nicer clothes. I tried talking more to them (i usually am quiet). After the night ends, i feel disgusted with myself. Like, wtf am i doing? This has happened more than once. I'm just kinda confused, i thought i was doing the right thing for me. To force myself to do something better. But it doesn't feel good and idk why. Can anyone help/ enlighten me?",1.0377307692307696,3.5343331384615375,2.343878205128206,92.72966346153852,86.84615384615385,5.711538461538463,21.971153846153847,7.1686216300943375,0.8205769230769233,762,27,158,12,24,244,108,195,0.202,0.655,0.14300000000000002,-0.9248,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,2,2,7,15,2,4,6,0,15,3,3,1,3,37,30,7,0,0,11,0,6,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,12,4,0,1,11,0,0,1,5,7,1,0,7,7,31,8,22,23,4,20,0,1,0,0,7,7,0,6,13,107,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960015898577502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142846308686475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524252811208047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825411774425497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160481461624917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119362523327746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41653038519562413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607569193245464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802932151254822,0.23031722321800235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141170752042404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090682409403546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202760627368706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415322645293676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916471335706766,0.0,0.0,0.14955720510200068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288443835445017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621733455833666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518478478751233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979049641351328,0.0,0.13149303264863346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562745896963516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725129714858995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569830731945687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294012493991293,0.0,0.0,0.22070902626382788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736430335130947,0.0,0.0,0.21799772458702812,0.08005926430173943,0.0,0.13014195661137112,0.0,0.0,0.27964792802125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30242755243259906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344692266254274,0.0,0.123889619818915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683015039970512
mentalhealth,MiitchyP,2019/01/25,"Kiwi boys Walk to Talk https://give.everydayhero.com/nz/walk-to-talk

Tom and Mitch from New Zealand are walking the country on the Te Araroa trail to raise awareness and funds for the Life Matters Suicide Prevention Trust in New Zealand. NZ has an extremely high suicide rate, specifically for young adults and adolescents. These two guys are walking the country in remembrance of their close friend who took his own life in 2017, and want to raise awareness about mental health and encourage talking.

They are currently $2300 away from their goal of $10000. A huge achievement already, while on their 110th day passing through the Queenstown area. Any donation or support goes a long way. 

All the best to everyone out there, helping each other out in any way we can.

Follow the link up top if you want to know more, support or donate to a good cause.

Here is their Instagram which they also use to document their journey 
https://www.instagram.com/walk.to.talk/

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mentalhealth,mookie1007,2019/01/25,"Relationship ended. Need support. I love this girl so much. Her family took me in and basically adopted me. I feel closer to her mom than I do mine. She was so healthy and such an optimist. I loved everything about her and she made me feel great. Now she doesn’t love me romantically anymore, but still loves me as a person and wants me to be around her family. I am so hurt. I’m 19 and was kicked out of the house for coming back from university to go to community college. I feel so alone and she’s the only thing that I was certain about. I am feeling suicidal and it scares me but I’ve been sad about more than just her for so long. ",0.2921778176919609,2.6671516259542045,2.548118545127977,90.51887292321513,89.99236641221373,6.135788055680287,19.15626403233049,7.5105763829236425,0.6298357431522228,497,15,110,10,17,168,83,131,0.15,0.667,0.182,-0.2797,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,14,10,0,1,4,0,9,4,0,1,1,21,25,15,1,2,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,6,4,25,7,17,18,2,12,0,2,0,4,17,4,0,0,5,80,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574842312276531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507987631563579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536214041905334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692173228001987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309828406889147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467654574563045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665819144759592,0.0,0.2866898610674081,0.0,0.30753647188103866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641696894442698,0.0,0.0,0.16764235442610828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754522898080531,0.1627791682665284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456483738254452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5489461608218539,0.14387913037876365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808623190207318,0.0,0.0,0.11177870754304728,0.11274764950950646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564549345161795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276949560121096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325131421871011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522346528709153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143217424391226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632466132369467,0.1725514267491327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101929663776907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893988908787244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968660996154536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jsmith125,2019/01/25,"Someone clean with me. My depression has been shit lately, so I'm staring at a house that hasn't been cleaned properly in a week, but it looks like it's been longer than that. My room is the worst. I have absolutely no want or need to do anything except sleep most days. I really need some kind of motivation or something. I start and get off track and end up back in bed. Crying ensues in between for who knows why. I hate feeling like this and I just want to be productive today. 


",2.313321878579611,4.367218247422676,3.4545704467353966,89.49143184421537,77.86597938144331,6.785337915234822,23.14891179839633,7.793537801064563,1.0315805269186713,378,12,80,6,9,122,76,97,0.201,0.654,0.146,-0.8819,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,2,0,3,0,9,2,2,1,0,18,20,7,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,3,8,3,14,16,3,14,0,1,2,0,1,7,1,4,9,53,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424137855889693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16281256058636312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325829768603721,0.13655274555146693,0.0,0.18236863043589369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18753599383268416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706050852191376,0.15126484113888394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062376002983383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20904629395077665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443158855701563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22049133640677407,0.11636503012562655,0.0,0.23884837865791864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20688785002556034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778056187089648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140003686016792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564404183683182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21734482400243416,0.0,0.0,0.2118897542840701,0.0,0.1794039378183253,0.16300536431999227,0.0,0.0,0.14986842548829696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20070176702676626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24977574884331225,0.0,0.16984252165580754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105956496552287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,glitteryandglad,2019/01/25,"i realized my core problem. background info: i have bipolar disorder and OCD, very early onset. i’ve been hospitalized and have taken now two semesters off school because of my illness. i’m on multiple medications. 

i (21f) have made a huge revelation of what my central, life problem is: i want to run before i can crawl. i want to jump ahead in everything in life. i want to go ahead and be where i want to be without the patience, learning, or growing i need to get there. 

it’s made me be a drain on my boyfriend, who has loved and supported me with great patience as long as we’ve been together, he is my angel, and i know the effect my depression has had on him. he is so strong and he is my rock. and i made him a promise as serious as a heart attack: i will NOT be toxic. i will NOT be a drain, i will NOT put aside his needs for my small issues that i will now learn how to handle myself, i WILL support him in his work and dreams instead of putting my little wants over his really great path forward in school, work, and streaming. 

it’s taken me a year and a half in therapy, but i did it. i’ve found what’s been the plague i let grow inside me. 

i am ready to enter this new phase with this revelation. i am excited and confident and motivated to move forward knowing this information. i am ready to be a healthy girlfriend. i’m ready to be a loving daughter. i’m ready to be a supportive friend. i am ready to be good to myself and love myself and do my best in all i do, for myself and for others. 

i just wanted to share this with you guys. i’m so proud and my mom and boyfriend are proud of me too. ",2.881891891891893,4.014127075075077,4.487682882882883,86.61249729729731,74.04504504504506,7.610282282282282,26.533213213213216,8.109356740369918,1.5087406366366367,1248,44,271,19,25,420,161,333,0.036000000000000004,0.693,0.271,0.9979,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,0,10,10,22,1,0,13,0,37,9,1,6,1,52,65,26,0,10,7,2,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,1,12,20,0,0,10,2,0,11,4,5,0,2,11,0,51,17,42,39,2,34,1,1,0,3,21,17,0,1,10,191,63,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086455307742162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476356937084236,0.0,0.09040332441868676,0.0,0.11149344702223277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915052767739357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176146899704544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548262206218827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648784813914145,0.08208158611658628,0.0,0.05550657344472252,0.0,0.06037924765486673,0.08910996783192994,0.0,0.2342623065580619,0.0,0.10519536118610197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589617791166885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088807340137836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677462580052465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863869077367007,0.15008241745483195,0.0,0.1064814613433788,0.0,0.09402000256665444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876601372246046,0.3015836039479538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702669956360336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442825559933902,0.0,0.1129174425677472,0.0,0.15755281249488035,0.0,0.1026082861571258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20331670910609134,0.0,0.2136032359985686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806074905178243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150432668798076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616833171591481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149592103176525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378208666523736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876600081223733,0.3759824094970976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024125989821303,0.0,0.15468952664206104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841576497697813
mentalhealth,Yodawg658,2019/01/25,"Do you hate hearing ""So does everyone else""? Whenever I talk to a therapist, or vent to someone, whenever I say something I am unhappy with in my life like ""I wish I didnt have to work so much"" they ALWAYS respond with ""yea so does everyone else"" or ""you aren't the only one"" and so on. 

I hate hearing this. Not only does it not help me feel better about my issues, but when I'm having problems in my life, I dont care or want to care about anyone else. Everytime things go wrong or I'm unhappy, I only care about my own well-being, and no longer care about other people.

After thinking about this, I see that I am a selfish manchild. Also I was once told that I can't expect everyone else to take care of me and do stuff for me without giving back. But doing stuff for others when I'm upset doesn't make me feel any better. If anything, it makes me more stressed, even if I'm told how grateful they are for helping them.

Yet despite all this, no one thinks I'm a terrible person. But I know I am. I want good things to happen to me, and always want my way despite what everyone else thinks. Knowing this. Wouldn't the world be better off without me? I mean, no one likes a selfish immature person, and I dont blame them.",2.6153984063745037,4.025782840637453,4.207288844621516,87.2513316733068,75.17529880478088,6.932350597609563,24.900597609561753,7.554174236665415,1.1838380876494026,947,31,197,12,20,317,125,251,0.25,0.644,0.106,-0.9901,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,4,4,16,20,2,2,6,1,18,2,0,3,1,39,53,22,0,9,13,0,2,2,0,1,2,3,0,2,15,7,0,0,8,0,0,1,14,9,0,3,4,6,35,11,25,47,4,12,0,0,1,0,18,5,0,6,7,136,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424855358292215,0.13370005646507122,0.0,0.0,0.054634537141529806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617619459091826,0.082318701299769,0.06611367907141738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177715918245001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21316487512398707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095642860680431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21092047369613665,0.0,0.1883177699627214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33557238071773754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306437772991314,0.0,0.0,0.3070765236747845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124550161600098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707026989258116,0.04565955996750988,0.06738609833600555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104515370411213,0.0,0.0,0.1586399247255625,0.0,0.0,0.18109996760136507,0.0,0.1077015646392381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385498054054957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883064668162161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349424522508783,0.07850096821715605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725629058424553,0.0,0.0,0.08751474500300276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059059773358108025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556038968610276,0.16332312995785095,0.18330852404539053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05569823375051424,0.1403010732801334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687534900145512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389027340274672,0.0,0.0,0.06402126053214881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807254664287457,0.061850316111500714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203017919922699,0.0,0.18394211766638446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040632523122709,0.06457493686167295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328192618286743,0.1067497897472912,0.15443752966847726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353826183739228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216135543200878,0.06377083199935167,0.0,0.0,0.07223607816721167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923880195528662,0.15489143658702784,0.0,0.05848910008312769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784011400746904,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rainyday156,2019/01/25,"Being ignored. How can you do this to me? 

No, I don't want my job back. That wasn't the purpose of the email I sent. I only wanted to explain what you all must've thought in order to collectively decide to treat me this way. I left that place full of misery and reluctance, knowing I would be the only one to suffer for it. At the very least, you can acknowledge my legitimate business inquiry which you put off for five hours just to snub me. At the very least, you can reply to my email, if only to say, ""No one cares, move on"". For all the time I spent there pushing myself until I broke, I'm owed a response. It would take you no more than five seconds to say you got it. Or you understand.

But no. You want to punish me for something that's not even true, and the entire office is instructed to do the same. That's my reward for giving everything I had to that place. I wish I could stop caring.",2.4564504504504505,3.9211803027027052,3.826486486486491,89.5955855855856,75.70270270270271,6.446846846846848,22.06306306306307,7.03164865440522,0.5298900900900905,696,18,150,7,15,229,108,185,0.182,0.73,0.08800000000000001,-0.9322,2,1,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,9,0,1,6,9,1,0,9,0,14,0,0,1,3,27,31,7,0,8,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,12,2,0,2,6,0,2,4,7,4,0,5,6,2,28,5,26,20,7,20,0,2,0,0,16,9,0,2,5,116,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944489500090345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167537244698357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402429766147255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259890726795293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960726556273256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901381702941496,0.0,0.0,0.12423753284301192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297607787229334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414842997851616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536938891615592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687745718363037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509910443130532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21052132500319945,0.3544233450862918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245891042153667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615702129382728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24706111770636605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958634245210854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986904674506344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679441512234645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332056779042633,0.09057850442501178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171174254429865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563392954416524,0.2748661220017107,0.12329962130156873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17863037797258374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22069450636313864,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thinkinthatheneedsit,2019/01/25,Why does mental health care have to cost so much fucking money???? Just why? All I want is to talk to someone for a few hours. I don't have hundreds of dollars for this. ,-0.5702857142857134,1.6438925428571451,0.9628571428571426,100.62714285714287,95.0,2.8000000000000003,18.42857142857143,3.1291,-0.9317428571428574,129,4,29,0,5,41,29,35,0.0,0.8420000000000001,0.158,0.6662,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,3,7,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,7,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035120616938795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605081790681681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27520712968521244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31642769977051194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931620448193639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29999880089914444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21883443191766225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522294994844734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392697909380498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558369364753412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5372330064658434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RichardDick4All,2019/01/25,"I’m drowning and need to vent About two weeks ago my (28M) girlfriend(30’s F) had a seizure on the train where she was traveling from Beaumont to California. They dumped her at a hospital in El Paso. So I drove out there from Houston to pick her up.

On the way back, her mom, who is ridiculously codependent, insisted on me bringing her back to their house which is in the middle of nowhere and way out of my way and would have added more than two hours to my already long travel time. 
She has had seizures from a long time but they haven’t been able to figure out how to control them. None of the anti-convulsants medications work. 

So we spend time in the hospital because of her seizures 2-3 times a month.

But I’ve been able to handle all of that pretty ok. This week, we found out that my dad has cancer in the base of his throat called chondrosarcoma. It is in the advanced stages. There are multiple surgeries he will have to do and they are all very sensitive. 

My younger brother, who has been with his high school girlfriend for the last 8 years (they have two kids together) are breaking up and might be moving back in here with my two nieces.

And I’ve been having a really hard time finding a job lately. I work in politics. But am finding it difficult to translate my experience into general office work, which I am more than qualified for. I don’t have health insurance, and I’m overweight. So I’m worried that if I can’t get on my feet soon and get more active and healthy, my health will turn against me too. I’ve already had a heart attack once before.

And after this week it just feels like nothing is ever going to get better. I’ve been fighting so hard despite my bipolar and depression to work my way out of this and get back on my feet. It’s just all too much. I’m okay with having to play the role of caregiver occasionally with my girlfriend. But now I might have to do it with my dad too.

I need to see a therapist badly but can’t afford one right now. ",4.4340909090909095,5.315234631313132,4.939595959595959,85.77106060606063,70.1111111111111,8.290909090909091,28.303030303030305,8.515128840125781,1.834918181818182,1558,54,325,24,27,497,196,396,0.097,0.83,0.073,-0.8739,2,0,0,0,2,0,40.0,2,0,6,7,23,12,4,0,17,2,40,10,4,3,4,51,57,23,1,4,8,4,3,1,2,5,6,0,0,1,15,25,1,1,5,3,1,7,5,7,0,5,11,4,40,5,59,40,8,63,0,1,1,0,30,25,0,3,26,224,55,7,0.17700285327338094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784511748429043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953270500419475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068314928001657,0.0,0.27220853686627616,0.07389499453457632,0.053949648237182984,0.0,0.07530819562974696,0.0,0.0,0.07827231986800272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036985164875624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926187540210143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762261490797707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005460719518293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657137734300965,0.0,0.0,0.044748980477846784,0.06322543687267286,0.0,0.0,0.1617774012148116,0.0,0.0,0.09703724628004286,0.0,0.0,0.18495337062396952,0.0,0.050297400273808385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855978962941644,0.0,0.0,0.1881457560030332,0.0,0.10487461668223366,0.0,0.09350661630716127,0.0,0.0,0.0871560779823272,0.10211876390974704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878240099427609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721404748369656,0.0998334640969955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0432373266749546,0.0,0.0,0.15664195519197874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915587651416015,0.0,0.1877720557940964,0.0,0.1036518012451129,0.07064099438854504,0.09406301050965434,0.06505873168262964,0.13124537290720187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491950575458031,0.0,0.0,0.09425113099397296,0.059970857123945384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003776772671643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669628011200965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075579734784154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956816862199904,0.07052417871110887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275697757205976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580294679073715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626413835630757,0.3458121362551805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302294559446904,0.0,0.2809932522475079,0.2129715183725752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577203705536588,0.08987749471103962,0.0,0.06286887425272618,0.0,0.0,0.05699201712077818
mentalhealth,GaysMibble,2019/01/25,"I Don't Understand Why I Feel So Sad I don't even necessarily feel sad. I'm taking my medicine which does make me more anxious by side effect but that's been normal. I've been sleeping way more than usual, I usually nap when I get home and get up and do whatever before bed, nowadays I take a nap get up at seven pm and go to bed at 8:30 it's not good. I haven't been able to bring myself to shower and I just feel so tired. I've been feeling so worthless and generally like I'm not good enough especially in my relationship I've been recently worried that I'm not good enough and just haven't been very conversational, I don't really know what to say as of late. That then gets me worried about not being interesting enough. All of these are irrational thoughts as my boyfriend is wonderful and tells me I'm perfect how I am. Yet I'm still sad and anxious, the problem is, I don't really have any reason to be sad, I should be fine and I typically do feel fine. Feeling like this usually comes in waves from time to time but there's usually a reason that triggers a depressive episode. There isn't really a reason and I just feel insane and kind of hopeless. Sorry for the rant, rambling is just kind of my way of sorting out my thoughts.",3.2037007874015733,4.694422322834646,4.693708661417325,84.03111417322836,73.8031496062992,8.072125984251969,26.87322834645669,8.697196308434329,1.8821014173228343,986,36,206,19,20,330,126,254,0.241,0.672,0.087,-0.9919,1,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,2,15,19,0,0,6,0,25,2,1,7,2,49,52,21,0,3,10,0,7,2,0,1,1,1,4,0,9,13,0,0,16,2,0,3,11,8,0,1,8,8,23,11,25,40,6,25,0,7,0,0,4,8,0,2,14,127,32,0,0.0950289841825709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462296792686831,0.0,0.0,0.21471140640272435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086266632396058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185905543197633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184832482911374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316050444719146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945710305278618,0.0,0.06276574781289311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363465679294215,0.0678887252877175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19859488823485053,0.0,0.054007161654754915,0.23911740993817154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532181932488636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19791612714414586,0.05222544448410425,0.0,0.10719683332914254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285272314440876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343258485402158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093108227935134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092990391807568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18263400187069287,0.2931168683839462,0.09382965749821533,0.1020255654075409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557086240611903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509761297845587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637716765486213,0.0,0.0,0.07589026952214424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289993920458274,0.0,0.0830595207475937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15088479720084494,0.11082432975940884,0.10922183798956517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989285239111832,0.0,0.0,0.4186440019333661,0.07840886419094936,0.0,0.1508591688180052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857488774118108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305487968093097,0.0,0.1930130925081294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,manupnokia,2019/01/25,"Is it wrong to be fake to a person with mental health issues? okay bear with me because this is difficult to explain
a guy who goes to my school is suffering from severe mental health issues. He clearly struggles with it quite badly but takes it out in the wrong way ie he spreads rumours about people, threatens people, does a lot of drugs and drinks alone during school time. a lot of people think it’s for attention which is perfectly valid for someone to want attention tbh. but basically this guy attempted to sexually assault me, beat up my boyfriend while on acid and told everyone at school that it was me who tried to rape him and beat up my own boyfriend. since then he hasn’t apologised but he keeps trying to be my friend, and i’ve been constantly nice and friendly towards him because i have been through severe depression and know how easy it is for something to make it worse and more severe. 

however, a lot of people have started to criticise me for being overly friendly to him even though i don’t like him and think i’m being fake. I was wondering what the opinion on this is as i want to help him and not make his problems more severe, despite him doing awful things to me. Is it okay to be “fake” to someone you dislike because you want them to feel better? hopefully i explained that well...",10.720238095238095,7.431145785714289,9.643555555555556,70.80700000000002,59.3968253968254,12.619682539682536,41.46984126984128,10.355215969177356,4.172805079365078,1046,41,193,16,10,329,137,252,0.217,0.604,0.17800000000000002,-0.9393,1,1,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,1,6,5,24,2,1,7,3,21,5,0,3,2,41,39,17,0,5,4,0,1,1,3,0,3,0,0,3,18,13,1,1,9,1,0,0,3,13,1,0,5,2,24,11,39,29,6,15,0,2,0,1,27,9,0,6,6,134,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878344860229994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963713387882297,0.1744256990520358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843546069066629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307036570650982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214943485099511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346644181812778,0.0,0.0,0.09343470155428127,0.11060887702831797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629966553572662,0.0,0.0,0.09113832460595718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04822627800029991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210677727736738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888795876052929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202765949898474,0.0,0.0,0.06393025452545448,0.0,0.0,0.09473245503525744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991009236362117,0.0,0.0847768680585821,0.0,0.0,0.052417575535829576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04659715850394447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24326238466508895,0.0,0.0,0.127331891221361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223835927396565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644940041282449,0.08328090083962983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126442396372852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144686472702956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895846578279482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4310026070508432,0.0,0.0788981505029279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162792983192556,0.07342709392816914,0.0,0.0,0.06750945283980653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971040516419212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171282534130972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633652932707418,0.12222949113209244,0.09370897475762917,0.0,0.055616019487776835,0.0,0.0,0.09113832460595718,0.0,0.1295115957759169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877028048561532,0.07570708066637034,0.0,0.0,0.08575680174414108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343400603618008,0.0,0.0,0.09719892576652572,0.0,0.2085630181828029,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lucylockett981,2019/01/25,"Leaving Work Early Due To Mental Health My SO and I were up until 4am fighting. After that we talked until 6am. I had work at 8am. I got no sleep. My manager was lecturing me for 30 minutes about all of the things that have been going wrong and putting the blame on me when I only caused half of the issues.. I didn't want to say so in fear of her thinking I'm talking back. Then we had a conversation and she interrupted me in the middle of talking.. I was 2 seconds from blowing up. She kept coming back to my cart and ""fixing"" things and nagging even further. I had 0 patience and almost screamed and I'd normally be fine.. I told the owner of the store I was having a hard time holding myself back from blowing up and I needed to leave and he let me leave but he seemed quite upset.. did I do the wrong thing? Should I have stayed and risked going off on someone? I work in retail and have BPD and a Panic Disorder. I feel awful for leaving. I've been missing a lot lately.. ",0.8171339005821743,3.0059280197044345,2.8312964621585297,91.19838222122705,84.07389162561577,4.873175100761308,21.04993282579489,6.11248444174946,0.21188866995073896,760,24,159,6,22,255,121,203,0.204,0.7959999999999999,0.0,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,2,0,0,4,8,11,2,4,11,1,19,2,1,1,1,29,32,19,0,4,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,15,0,2,3,0,2,4,2,10,0,2,14,4,27,1,27,15,2,29,0,1,0,0,15,12,0,3,12,115,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867112367610955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733817242487457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14925979682817497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174290484974765,0.0,0.10208628209731416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582327363759136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827505220360675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335723423311288,0.05992245789321446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470447003982605,0.0,0.0947836544061479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616210935050592,0.0,0.0,0.12597109500025466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369414775298243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368497974266705,0.5019419333237567,0.0,0.12118499182150892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075336936988367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943068661636301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787401687960711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611510507185968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013255786552896,0.0,0.13904650997372628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913576196100498,0.0,0.12605047978129785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424428778486486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788748710359553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859606361286675,0.0,0.10041354238098936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263163999096016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857626963771616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23619928441607696,0.07593672826696571,0.0,0.0,0.06910441203701803,0.0,0.0,0.11324183920278108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699005496959036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588311156111786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591452045099356,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cheesecakekoalas,2019/01/25,"I need advice, badly. I have this friend who I deeply care about but for the past few months we've been in this on off spiral where he'll get upset and I want to comfort him but he live far from me. And when he gets upset he doesn't like talking to me and it makes me upset. What do I do?",-0.7006813186813189,1.0948261846153855,1.283736263736266,102.39769230769232,87.15384615384615,3.7142857142857135,12.362637362637365,3.1291,-1.7908901098901098,222,2,57,0,7,73,48,65,0.207,0.667,0.126,-0.7826,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,3,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,8,12,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,9,4,8,10,1,8,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,4,36,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32688611099287435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793076967078132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410623447418577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584469807920451,0.0,0.34954261971800843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634280941685992,0.0,0.2953846126595585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22329267467488248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670082535371447,0.0,0.0,0.24804009419823395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3193342987243354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688720687665211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973067756175821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,molly__hatchet,2019/01/25,"what are your healthy coping mechanisms for anxiety and depression? I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, but this past week it took a turn for the worse and I feel awful pretty much all the time. I have a toxic home environment, which makes it really difficult to relax and recuperate from a stressful day. I'm trying to change that, but in the meantime, what are your (healthy) coping mechanisms? Right now my only ones are deep breathing exercises, which don't really seem to help much, and/or knocking myself out to go to sleep, which seems really unhealthy and doesn't actually solve anything.",7.871785714285713,9.23081900925926,7.580846560846562,68.19166666666669,62.61111111111111,11.356613756613758,33.94708994708995,11.20814326018867,4.2834534391534405,495,20,77,14,7,157,74,108,0.249,0.6409999999999999,0.109,-0.9463,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,2,6,1,7,3,2,1,1,14,15,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,9,7,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,5,0,1,1,1,7,1,11,14,3,11,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,2,5,52,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.1703006208247528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452097395299589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670056696989526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361026272020874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846128140314479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254717924068364,0.0,0.3006175358050284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823958971717011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918040403620584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697314542509955,0.0,0.17505190542217816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648953957440335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565759366981193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825529366470605,0.13272586282069024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659348759593332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17754361324921086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353946688048126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14903411691329735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177422266157002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464016602789914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990535088377348,0.1824400639453536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176059494520906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389162408996471,0.11848364158241508,0.18982126480496306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998471177045124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17784481171311967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,swagcopyer,2019/01/25,"Anxiety is making me think other people hate me Okay- so this is some of the most long winded drama but I don't know if it's even real or if it's just my brain making this up.  

Just some backstory about what I deal with that I think is contributing to this all- I have pretty bad anxiety and have chosen not to take medication in exchange for rigorous counselling and mindful thinking (I have chronic pain and take enough pills as it is for that).  I also have been struggling deeply with my narcissistic mother for the past few months and as a result of even that I am finding that Im not as trusting as I once was of people and their intention.  I also have this wonderful boyfriend who is so nice and loving and supportive and has a deep network of friend that I, somebody with barely any friends, enjoy spending time with.

So life was going very well, and then I think it's getting better because an old friend from highschool becomes my college roommate.  Things are fine, until my boyfriends roommate/best friend decides he likes my roommate.  Now this is fine and all, except for the fact that I literally was emotional support for his ex girlfriend during the time of their final breakup.  

The two of them had a horrible relationship where in which a lot of abuse was handed out in many different ways with some big things happening that shook the foundations of their relationship often only making things worse.  Having been there for the ex girlfriend, I distinctly remember and know I can trust the memory of her telling me to make sure that the next girl who dates him knows to watch out for these red flags- so I made sure to do my due diligence to due as such because I had promised to.

Cut to October with me standing in my kitchen with my roommate who spent a few months actually saying she thought this guy was gross and didnt like him to suddenly being deeply infatuated by him.  Im also frustrated with him at the time as he wasn't showing me the most respect and somehow we get onto the topic of him, and I make a point to say ""if you are going to get involved with him just make sure to watch out for red flags- I saw him in the last relationship he was in and he was not the best to her and she was not the best to him and I don't want that to happen to you"".  I think this is a fine thing to say- and even though he knows I said it and has been rude to me since she told him I said that I stand by that statement.  The issue arose when I further delved into a deeper topic after the ex who I helped was referred to in a negative way by my roommate.  I said something along the lines of ""well I mean that big thing happened near the end and she didn't even trust him"", my roommate says she knows what Im talking about and directly says what I am talking about, to which I respond with ""yeah, she didn't even feel comfortable enough to trust him to tell him.  It was a very big deal for her and was heartbreaking to watch.  Just be careful.""  That's where things become shaky.

So a few months later (Im talking December), this roommate has moved away and doesn't speak to me (didn't even say goodbye), and Im sitting in my bed.  I get a text message from this ex that I was friends with telling me that I shouldn't have told her anything and that it was inappropriate that I did.  I am confused- this was months ago.  Suddenly anxiety spikes and the whole thing becomes deeply stressful.  I have troubles making friends- so when a friend I do have says that I betrayed them I feel like I am loosing control over my relationships and don't know how to act at all.  I apologize and try to explain myself, and after a whole day of her telling me it's bad that I did this she finishes with a text saying that her ex (my boyfriends roommate/my old roommates new boyfriend) got the story mixed up and he really did tell my roommate before I did and I didn't spill the beans on anything and said we were good.

So that's it for actual real events- this is where my mind starts to take over and create anxieties.  

So immediately after this conflict (like two days after) this ex was supposed to come with me and a few more friends out to British Columbia for a week to hang out.  I was very excited, seeing as I haven't seen this person in a while.  Pretty understandably they don't come- but I do see pictures of them on instagram with the geotag of ""(town name) BC"" the entire time I am out there.  This is confusing me because she said she didn't want to come but there she was; just with other people.  I start to feel a mess of negative things and continue to fall into the pit of feeling like Im in the wrong and I did something irredeemable.  She said we were fine but she hasn't been speaking to me and came out here with somebody else?? 

I know that it is valid to have stresses and thoughts like that- but it was getting out of hand so I put the phone away for the rest of the trip.  

I then come home and start to go to school, and find myself with my boyfriends friends again- including this roommate of his.  I can't help but feel this all consuming tension with him to the point where I can't be alone in a room with him.  Now that I know all of the venting I did to my old roommate got out to him, it's very clear that he knows Im not his biggest fan and it shows in his behaviour from my perspective.  He is doing things like cutting me off, not speaking to me for long periods of time even though I spend a large amount of time at his house and around him, and even ostracizing me from the other friends of my boyfriend.  I spoke to my boyfriend about it, and he said that his roommate must not be aware that he is doing anything.  This has sent me into a deep position of discomfort around him, and is now even stretching out to others in this small community.

A friend that moved away just travelled into town to visit, and I did spend some time with him.  This friend is also friends with the ex, and is pretty consistently aware of every emotion that the ex has seeing as she vents to him a lot (which is fine and allowed).  The only issue is because of that, I feel like I was spoken about and I don't know what was said.  This got to a point of spiralling out of control in my head of just pure thoughts of thinking that he hates me because he knows what I did.  He is gone now, and I am still stuck here with this paranoia that everyone hates me because I did something so wrong and betrayed such a deep trust.  

Oh yeah, and it came to a head when a joke was made about the tv that the ex left.  I laughed and in response said ""well, actually she said I could have it"".  To this the roommate says ""oh she said it was my tv now. Guess she didn't tell you.  Makes sense.""

I still havent heard anything from the ex, or from my old roommate (who is supposed to be coming into town today- actually).

I feel like a wreck over all of this and have no idea how to handle it. Ill probably bring it up at my next session, but I haven't really told anybody about this narrative of everybody being in on hating me yet that I know my brain is making up but I felt it would be good to vent about it.  I also wanted to let people who deal with thoughts like these know that they are not alone and that I can promise I will always like them no matter what and that I understand how thoughts like that happen.  

If anybody has any advice on if I should message this ex in the meantime and talk to her about this feelings to just clear everything up or if I should just leave it and try to ignore it Id welcome the discourse- this has really been tearing me apart lately. 

Thank you",5.037472230873043,5.398985652859963,5.247004671441921,85.96064715042046,68.53977646285338,8.245104674902246,29.15977023426416,8.032893268588372,1.708422853385931,5962,200,1251,70,95,1881,463,1521,0.129,0.746,0.125,-0.5247,2,2,3,0,1,0,125.0,3,4,9,5,77,89,8,9,71,3,130,14,6,19,15,254,246,110,0,15,35,12,11,12,15,6,6,25,4,3,120,110,1,4,45,7,5,23,33,27,3,2,83,46,189,62,213,148,27,171,0,1,10,1,172,80,0,24,75,907,309,4,0.0,0.035893943945941545,0.11825196862051705,0.0,0.0,0.02960336487858748,0.02685418297039924,0.0,0.0,0.06275178313020435,0.0,0.1211322174801756,0.02520739131650062,0.0,0.0,0.04120250038883768,0.0,0.0927006194159202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971893348674164,0.05393692824609085,0.0,0.0,0.0853878383151312,0.0,0.05058916473339843,0.1108032144465222,0.10037344837194602,0.025778327331126772,0.0,0.09537640095967534,0.02679296012407743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763720226537175,0.0,0.0692975112655407,0.030887188834890264,0.0,0.0,0.13047983834024668,0.0,0.0,0.0679555550154798,0.024187636046876803,0.0,0.0,0.039074800324986864,0.09369667656148692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031651229902436843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025307107683897212,0.06815430900244662,0.02683187175463342,0.0626044856249853,0.0,0.18008265857068992,0.0,0.025524362567272658,0.0289476246347105,0.027226678905677263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254218620917047,0.08656938298563932,0.029087402124367057,0.033186065600223795,0.05537711756895605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30427020365572754,0.0,0.07913794257501443,0.0,0.05165106549110245,0.05081905856910824,0.07268766566945452,0.0,0.033372728375025335,0.02999624706069894,0.10715705216045866,0.0,0.0,0.11963790492555725,0.06218164708979621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04061143363794936,0.0,0.030387781804164155,0.0,0.0,0.034955703037395425,0.0,0.03419872228316161,0.2290622690233565,0.06323902514956359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164373329950018,0.024694002540085323,0.034173434837629905,0.0320774255711668,0.032914985164331306,0.030978105612782643,0.02139785073544132,0.17760393019049964,0.0,0.0,0.053619231757712084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151047947886215,0.027341904460465874,0.057330641398878064,0.1819958961466654,0.030713795561965393,0.0,0.03299951371121184,0.0,0.030518449540008732,0.0,0.0,0.061177473551781075,0.0,0.0967228950908446,0.06439636627573878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029258547785191474,0.06443693670440037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715562639819458,0.032262577608908084,0.0,0.04608055592925374,0.032235407799652775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028919459853069207,0.08400936908528098,0.02645192642249396,0.0,0.0,0.08591408076384469,0.0,0.0,0.0924609743686296,0.03266251771136708,0.0,0.0,0.03045426798165865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689633837685266,0.05822215981791471,0.0,0.0,0.13009951517958093,0.034317681901627595,0.0,0.3169863270390748,0.21682210898120152,0.0,0.030659578945952337,0.072422211754164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025059864277803132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996639324587726,0.0,0.0,0.06432765717004435,0.0,0.04838633940542191,0.0,0.06940433089820401,0.031670314254155896,0.0,0.0,0.06875551682705623,0.08565642091697635,0.0,0.06833292004599012,0.09739805626100152,0.15887199454096226,0.02789103954304016,0.0,0.0,0.18113644936533066,0.1164686791384866,0.059528244301521885,0.12025196139190195,0.1236544740029786,0.0,0.028715575947490257,0.0868428739041315,0.0,0.041135856694457455,0.0,0.059186509309625664,0.06307513683881641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999843046816396,0.05360531642550145,0.04809261444721772,0.02430036318051037,0.0,0.0817149882059743,0.0,0.0,0.0676452950029616,0.0,0.0,0.032853015393307004,0.0,0.0,0.030872610728270543,0.021520292789833632,0.06624440364842354,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PathOfExalted,2019/01/25,"Too broke to see a psychiatrist, but need to fix myself.. Backstory: My mother was diagnosed with BPD, bipolar, narcissistic personally disorder, depression, PTSD, and many other things that I can't remember. So it runs in the family.

I'm starting to feel like I might have picked up on them.. the reason I feel this is the case is, I have two different personalities, online and irl, online i fit the bill to a tea for narcissism, being a programmer I feel that people should insta respect me, etc.. etc.. but real life, I don't want anyone to know me, I just want to live life and let that be it. Even in my relationship, and I have talked with my SO about this, I would give my left nut to make her happy, just to see her smile, and I don't want anything in return, just to know she's happy is enough for me, and anytime I start to notice anything from my online side start to slip into real life, I instantly shut down and recant anything that I said that I know was in the wrong.

All of this is driving me nuts, I hate the fact i see so much of my mother's ways in my online activities, and honestly between depression and the thoughts of hurting my SO due to my mental problems, I can just barely take it",7.037125,5.773747795833337,7.845000000000002,74.44000000000003,64.79166666666666,11.166666666666668,32.083333333333336,10.317481424215053,3.0065833333333334,941,29,188,19,12,318,129,240,0.149,0.7440000000000001,0.107,-0.8316,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,0,11,12,1,0,10,0,19,6,0,3,2,41,42,15,0,7,6,2,3,1,0,3,5,1,0,2,13,12,1,0,9,0,1,2,3,7,0,1,4,7,36,5,31,32,5,21,0,4,3,0,12,13,0,1,6,136,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670638390830822,0.0,0.2708268841654156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816617959748248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889728236348956,0.1113455035731225,0.0,0.11461553220642785,0.12572831544540236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335177907043842,0.2446940782731005,0.07245732039429094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034175450196183,0.0,0.16640630474783585,0.07837132975768829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052364218215128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23356023096932824,0.0,0.1083082883933132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743855816722845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808685100828996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919184669301132,0.1121780124342862,0.2324578909896473,0.053594992052136484,0.0,0.09686912185049652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322712282353724,0.11122089205585836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105540945863876,0.11637678149661518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064379728343317,0.08134284955591048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489677129794148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605374718230443,0.19157559653414893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497026501229237,0.12823609313395054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497304198841653,0.0,0.11279221329856215,0.0,0.11777919229418213,0.1242712964826404,0.0,0.10435198852600773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26225553854799943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23294351230154306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248246089680332,0.08817453609730673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288131933923023,0.0,0.0,0.08709135535196698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716318583628183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411573863452888,0.08707656253891755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792935121156322,0.11994222030653115,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reasonablyethical,2019/01/25,"I'm worried my mother's depression might make me depressed So my mother is dealing with paranoid attacks, and depression (she's being treated) and I'm begging to feel anxious at times and reaaallly really sad. She used to be my trust person but now I can't count on her to tell her my problems cause she gets worse and... I don't know how tho help her nor how can I help myself. I don't want to end up with depression too cause I swear this feels like a plague. 
",3.4520300751879702,4.610087105263163,4.483909774436093,87.08736842105263,72.6842105263158,7.533834586466164,27.25563909774436,7.957251820313856,1.5714060150375944,365,13,76,5,7,119,64,95,0.28600000000000003,0.599,0.115,-0.9257,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,10,1,0,1,0,8,0,0,6,0,19,17,10,0,2,1,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,2,17,3,9,14,0,6,0,5,0,0,13,3,0,1,4,48,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792419119609447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19931333896983705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.359953793757589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18062173649059385,0.6035920965343554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551736768305038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717103166350678,0.1251616881378207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153387164684612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23486343168997836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628439431843534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855930313000772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694621411180466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858576915461068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297638270500227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764109545970868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223650607973862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313102122080946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215952752569712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131506478265105,0.0,0.0,0.10333648634322667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792236036717493,0.1785420176374888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Twinkofoz,2019/01/25,"Do I need psychological help? Violent thoughts etc.. Hello everyone. I'd like to start off by saying I'm writing this post as my symptoms of mental distress have now started to concern me quite a bit, and I feel like asking questions anonymously could save me from feeling extremely uncomfortable.

In short, I have been having very dark , violent , evil thoughts, which are now urges. Someone who annoys me in the slightest way, I would kill if I had the right opportunity. I would have no remorse, and would actually feel good doing it. The rage that I find inside actually makes me laugh and happy, just knowing that it's possible to do. 

I have never acted on killing someone, however as a child, these urges where there,  which I acted on, not knowing the consequences, and with no reason either. I used to get into situations where I would be alone in a pool, with another young person my age 7-8 at the time, where I began drowning them. Only to stop when I knew they were close to losing consciousness. Almost as if I just wanted to see what it's like without doing it. This happened 2-3 times. I would get into trouble , but being young it would pass as rough play in the pool gone too far, as there was no witnesses. Which I would bend the story to relieve me of blame. This type of stuff I do all the time, but not necessarily by myself. I party with people, who I constantly get too drunk. I give them more and more alcohol or drugs, knowing that it is harming them, simply because it's so amusing. I have no problems with watching them spew, green out whilst suffering physically and mentally. It is something that makes me laugh harder than ever.

I know it's wrong because I've been pulled up on it multiple times, but again I can so easily play the card of ""it was a drinking game"" and "" they chose to do it"". Which they did, but I would pressure these people, some friends, some even family. With absolutely no care for their well-being. In fact the part of them being unwell is what I wanted to happen.

I have had a  history of being sexually abused when I was young. Not raped, but being underage and shown sexual acts by someone older and mature, and basically thought I was willing. But it did extremely mess me up, especially when it come to coming to terms with my sexuality in my late teens early 20s.

I have epilepsy, which requires medications, but I've had all of these mental issues since a young age.

I've been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder by a psychiatrist and psychologist. I've checked myself into hospital during a near relationship break up, thinking I would now start committing such dark thoughts.

I basically obsess about harming/killing others. It doesn't scare me, in fact it would be great to do it. Which is why I know something is really wrong. The only reason why I can't , is because of losing my relationship with my partner. But if that ends, I feel like I will be a major threat to society. I feel like I could possibly be a psychopath. But I don't necessarily fit the generalised description of one. But do have the many messed up thoughts and urges they do. 

I'm willing to answer as many questions as possible.

The goal for me is to be diagnosed correctly, so I can receive help to stop the internal suffering this is all causing. If I could understand what's wrong, and how to approach all of this, without being in trouble, or losing my job and relationship. I would definitely be able to live a somewhat normal life.",6.2844338463761815,7.117739277693478,7.00273032733579,72.80294511886697,65.93474962063733,10.160864224293663,33.141159043283466,10.181067101454742,3.4546388178336587,2780,115,491,64,42,920,295,659,0.165,0.7120000000000001,0.123,-0.9797,2,1,5,0,1,0,91.0,0,0,10,7,24,45,9,4,26,0,73,10,0,7,10,122,115,45,3,23,24,0,6,5,2,14,7,1,0,4,43,30,3,3,25,8,1,10,14,27,0,1,21,10,69,18,77,66,15,76,0,5,3,1,31,31,0,12,37,364,112,4,0.05831595984365436,0.06909487651840855,0.11381592925813297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623220260570008,0.058395010060473165,0.06039774722473296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061149368558278426,0.04461154966259431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054517550377893284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066466035545647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366592444809037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059457007615592875,0.059906554629881134,0.0,0.1004680715146725,0.0,0.06301883546671021,0.0,0.13968164616695378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837894339999608,0.0,0.0,0.13367028447730567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712743952899872,0.06762799932672507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051650631327566664,0.0,0.0650377103534825,0.038517141485817655,0.05275012433029395,0.0,0.055723398706168485,0.0,0.0,0.054975096953080414,0.0,0.14743150747745795,0.12498280009315925,0.0,0.0,0.05329973081440999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04505476591621437,0.0,0.0914030463474848,0.055941982489870985,0.0,0.04891266033488255,0.0,0.06429355160105238,0.0,0.0,0.10313722139665722,0.06207842363443713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817591727105061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060866711114754474,0.057869591844607424,0.0,0.12903593867746993,0.0,0.16024463217984225,0.0,0.06578294276806257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04119028704539515,0.14245116163349492,0.0,0.0514940609398587,0.0,0.0,0.19572192726066048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785271205297745,0.11824646045927713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874719439234561,0.1763063143868017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04324054530522559,0.044976863296314604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713725899613418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039516403618963324,0.08870383055778427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315050166187636,0.0,0.08085788778295028,0.10183849356809964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19722744776923268,0.055850569510022735,0.0,0.0,0.05580049782797114,0.0,0.0,0.1306544425185459,0.062026201547109715,0.0,0.0,0.0373586971413388,0.11991703845734678,0.0,0.18782855020006145,0.0,0.04980151107348963,0.0,0.046375191898913766,0.05838444910494633,0.0,0.04647026980261934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04823956460317208,0.06554958220720443,0.0,0.0,0.14823277059925752,0.0897889498953376,0.0,0.0,0.12382900958380992,0.0,0.0,0.0975095072902462,0.0,0.0,0.0667578220498304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06061261105978327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03736651237255943,0.0,0.23148179079968045,0.13601802059744486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060708970820027575,0.0,0.050366265625918415,0.0,0.04811677421239429,0.06879252806041536,0.04628849453939233,0.0,0.0,0.052433051364675465,0.0,0.10524216658316626,0.0,0.0,0.11242900855880576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4556858317693577,0.19127804248887645,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chiaretta5498,2019/01/25,"Experiencing bullying as a kid can be considered a childhood trauma? First of all forgive me for my errors, english is not my language. Basically I am a 20yo girl, I wasnt diagnosed with borderline personality disorder yet, but my therapist thinks I have It and I am going to make an official test with her next week. My official diagnosis right now is depression/anxiety disorder and eating disorder. I read that BPD can be caused by childhood trauma. My childhood was happy at home, but when I went to kindergarten (I was 5-6yo) I was bullied by other kids. I remember them saying very bad things to me, and they marginalized me. For example they didnt want me to play with them so I was always alone even if I wanted friends. Can that be considered as a childhood trauma? The bullying continued, I was bullied and marginalized during middle school and high school and It hurt, but I started seeing a psychologist only a years ago.",5.5862567084078725,7.430907366279078,6.789767441860466,69.9487924865832,68.36046511627907,10.408586762075137,34.16100178890876,10.560738912317856,4.207417173524149,745,36,122,22,13,251,104,172,0.269,0.6609999999999999,0.07,-0.9909,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,4,1,5,9,0,0,8,0,18,2,0,2,1,22,26,14,0,3,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,4,6,9,1,0,3,2,0,2,3,5,0,1,8,3,27,4,15,15,1,20,0,1,1,0,12,4,0,1,14,92,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13237700360574906,0.0,0.0,0.15466664971432467,0.0,0.0,0.12425918654364185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424132922050688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468899258090806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880829669955944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534088029153781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157249577763546,0.0,0.0,0.5134546241320586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528076057836525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863475881008543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702478948613227,0.0,0.0,0.1153763181264884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487086586961361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589705286086089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778126597646547,0.1497957880861474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986685398790232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968267607402706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15882011029462753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357645706677505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039409030873347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937601752520274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691681294433798,0.12753179087602198,0.0,0.11875766713905934,0.0,0.30227121019863523,0.11900114279011775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057005099793304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339014766587335,0.09921194043151774,0.0956882258980344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321751397118505,0.17616401818586466,0.0,0.11978801469824082,0.0,0.0,0.1384356021401524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616723358195238
mentalhealth,anakinsteeth,2019/01/25,"Want to go to therapy, but also don’t. Any other options? I have never seen a therapist but feel like I need to. So I googled some that are in my area and it’s quite expensive. 

I think the price helps me avoid going because I’m reluctant and scared to go talk to someone. 

Should I just pay the money and go to the first person that pops up? What if that persons not good at there job? 

In the last 3 years I’ve googled for therapists dozens of times. Get to the email or contact page and close it. Is this normal?",0.9970943075615964,3.0833125327102837,2.429804587935429,94.9674256584537,82.55140186915888,5.760067969413765,20.942225998300763,6.980632752743323,0.35971775700934616,399,12,90,5,11,129,80,107,0.134,0.7959999999999999,0.071,-0.7917,1,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,2,6,0,5,0,0,0,1,21,16,10,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,5,0,1,2,0,4,4,3,2,0,2,1,2,7,2,13,14,2,15,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,4,6,56,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029977500106018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780923743381678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456970013938167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503078226479378,0.13426814780770055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598661618022753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819365326997437,0.0,0.4272545423707903,0.1576395864698983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597576155272713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650669305467904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320049045819928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182057184506118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935904598072876,0.1449549887943384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18414647288670516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32821314364992155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990294323066726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816601571378547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924542847440526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510632993237835,0.0,0.0,0.2149318108312024,0.43643791914646896,0.0,0.1204277485195746,0.0,0.0,0.10959240599792047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085499747320984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103060029529135
mentalhealth,blooomseer,2019/01/25,"how can i wean myself off meds? basically my health care provider sucks and keeps fucking me over financially and doesn’t care about my wellbeing. i want to discontinue care there and ultimately wean myself off the medication they prescribed 

i’ve been taking 40mg viibryd for 6 months and have about 20 pills left. any advice without consulting my doctor? ",6.700476190476191,9.103641904761904,6.368444444444448,71.84600000000003,66.46031746031747,9.484444444444444,31.647619047619052,9.888512548439397,3.4126723809523813,292,12,47,7,5,91,50,63,0.038,0.7909999999999999,0.171,0.8299,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,4,5,2,0,1,0,4,5,0,1,0,8,12,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,9,3,8,11,0,5,0,0,0,1,2,4,2,0,1,28,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580421270472244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018010949678567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6754893063521533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22604110950904505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041648384545679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347446822329487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962944859635552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23994544163166975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453056383528866,0.22247504643345908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17627394986354286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604567389348826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025831303792473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128837739257814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ivyannana,2019/01/25,"How can you say that you’re depressed? I live in the Philippines so mental health awareness is not really a thing, there is a serious stigma around it.

I tried taking those psychological tests online and it states that I’m moderate to severely depressed.

I want to tell my parents but I don’t know how. They may say that it is all in my mind and I’m being such a girl (maarte in tagalog idk the english word lol) 

Thank you for your replies :D

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mentalhealth,Talisman1969,2019/01/25,"Interested in others DIAGNOSIS, PERSONALITY & BEHAVIOR Hi all,

My first post here, so please go easy on me.

For someone who has severe depression, social anxiety and chronic pain, I always seem take care of myself and my home.  For example I am always well groomed, present well and have been like that from childhood. Folks see me, including my medical team who say I look really good. I speak well.  I would not take medications that made me put on weight as I found it disgusting and preferred my depression to weight gain.  
My home is always immaculate, inside and out. So is my car.

It really concerns me as my friends/medical team at times appear to question health even though I go to hell & back on a daily basis.

People say it's very odd given my health issues and diagnosis as it's not consistent with that health profile.  
Can you guys identify with this? Is it weird?   
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mentalhealth,atgc1234,2019/01/25,"Can you get anorexia if you're overweight? I did my own ""research"" and I find that anorexia is considered ""mild"" if the person's BMI is above 18? But can you be anorexic if you're overweight, say, your BMI is 28?

I only eat 600-800 calories a day but I don't exercise much due to my ill health but I'm still fat? I don't
even know what the question is here I just want to know what's wrong with me",0.6819827586206912,2.294550804597705,2.3501005747126453,97.58308189655176,81.183908045977,5.269540229885059,22.36925287356322,5.985473137389443,0.0599666666666665,308,10,75,2,8,101,58,87,0.152,0.83,0.018000000000000002,-0.897,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,10,7,1,0,0,14,15,7,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,3,2,4,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,12,0,3,13,2,3,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,4,3,44,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19189260328105726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044639176262225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19652637659904296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719517224432988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554555436519067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162775643025778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32704708311073943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187306015328385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22629719830579406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598057561801785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333197011023296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366205818086124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376206801960244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17550038444285168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32531992391957115,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,levelonesc,2019/01/25,"The day my creativity was crushed. Hello reddit,

I just wanted to share one of the most traumatizing experiences four my mental health in my life that I'm still extremely tender about a decade later.

So a little backstory, my father and I have always butted heads. I don't know if it's because we just have personalities that clash or if because he's abusive (unintentionally and mental, not physical). My father was THE guy back in high school. Typical jock popular with everyone. If he didn't like you, no one did. Was probably a big bully like he was to me growing up.

Anyway, growing up around him was difficult for me because while he provided food shelter and a lot of material goodies ( i was spoiled by things) he was never the guy i could talk to about my issues. Which started piling up around puberty. 

One of these issues is ADHD and mild aspii syndrome (just got diagnosed as an adult). I was and never have been particularly neat in anything. Handwriting? Hardly legible. Locker at school? An absolute mess. But there was one category of stuff that i did organize. My creative folder. I organized them in what i admit was crazy to people who didn't understand my method (everyone). I organized them in order of importance to me. 

Now to the actual spirit crushing part. One day I was asked (for the millionth time) to clean my room. And for the first time in a very long time I did it. I'm not sure why I was able to do it that day. Maybe something good happened. I can't remember. But i remember cleaning and organizing properly everything in my room. Under my bed, my desk, made my bed, vacuumed, wiped down everything, did my laundry. I felt proud of my clean room. I was on my bed feeling great because not only did I have a clean room, but I'd done it to what i assumed was to my father's standard.  I was wrong. 

As i was on my bed feeling proud of myself, I hear stomping footsteps coming into the basement and my dad bursts into my room. Angrily. I asked him what was going on, why did he seem so upset? He ignored me and started to basically white glove my room. Which was spotless. Seeming to get angrier that he couldn't find anything he opens my closet. While i admit i didn't pay as much attention to my closet in my cleaning process, i did vacuum and organize all my shoes, snowboard, kite, rc car, and hung up all my shirts and coats. One thing i didn't touch was my creative pile. I had them ear marked in every which way, stacked so i could easily find what i looked for because i knew exactly where i put it. Turns out my dad finally found what he was looking for. Something he didn't deem clean enough. He proceeds to start yelling at me, screaming almost, and starts tearing everything out of my closet throwing everything to the floor like it was all trash. Including soon be clothing, some shoes, my kite that is had since i was six, and a fewother things. But most importantly to me was over 1000 pages of creative writing, drawings, music that i had written, thoughts i had about the world around me, etc. Thrown to the ground.

After my dad was done, I confronted him. Asking him why he had done what he had done. He got defensive saying it was my fault because i didn't organize those papers the way he wanted me to. I flared, stating he had no right to come in and just absolutely destroy my room like that. He said it was his house and could do what he wanted. 

I gave him an ultimatum after trying to explain what the pile on the floor that he had strewn about many to me. I told him ""You need to clean this up. Everything you threw to the ground means a great deal to me and i had it organized in a way i could find everything. If you do not clean it up, I will assume you don't care about anything you just did. But i warn you, if you do not clean it, i will not either. I will throw it away and i will hold you responsible for killing my creativity. And i will never forgive you for it.""

He didn't clean it up. Then he left my room. Angry, i proceeded to grab a 50 gallon garbage bag and put everything he threw to the ground like garbage into that bag, crying the whole time. I composed myself a bit then carried it upstairs. I confronted him one last time. ""This is your last chance to right the wrong you caused me."" He ignored me. So i threw it all away and it happened to be garbage day that day. It got taken before i could cool down enough to reclaim it.

I left to my only sanctuary at the time and refused to go home until i knew my father was asleep. 

I confronted him about it again about a year or two ago when he asked me why i resented him so much. After bringing up that story he tried blowing me off, but I looked at him dead in the eye and said ""It may have been nothing for you, but that was my world that you trampled on and threw to the ground. I will not even consider forgiving you until you at least apologize for it and even if you did I'm not sure I would forgive you.""

He brushed me off again, and I haven't brought it up again. But I did stop calling him dad and call him by his first name instead. And while i don't ever block him from visiting his grand children, I never go out of my way to make them cross paths.

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mentalhealth,Volatilo,2019/01/25,"Randomly zoning out, what could be a cause? I've been zoning out for a while now, quite sporadically. For example, I could be cooking, talking, walking, you name it; I, if it isn't for someone else, find myself standing completely still with a blank gaze. I've been called out on it so many times now and asked if I'm okay and such that it's now that I'm starting to get interested in the cause and solution. I was at the grocery store today when I paid for my products and just completely 'faded' from reality. It took someone to tap me on the shoulder to snap out of it. 

​

My question is; have any of you who struggle with mental health experienced this?  Perhaps it could point to something. I don't know. If it helps, I'm 17. So there's a lot going on in my head, the usual. ",2.4864647377938525,4.389871588607598,4.046871609403259,86.14962025316456,76.78481012658227,6.792766726943943,26.475587703435806,7.7094869923839395,1.4765916817359854,613,24,126,9,14,204,96,158,0.016,0.918,0.067,0.7622,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,1,10,3,0,1,8,1,12,4,2,2,0,25,22,11,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,13,10,1,0,3,1,2,3,2,1,0,0,5,1,12,2,23,12,1,26,0,0,0,0,9,11,0,6,11,87,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718899807907234,0.18749701038233213,0.10493243718422914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425399595463906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575622756974222,0.0,0.0,0.31702671265800114,0.0,0.0,0.3235709297191696,0.0,0.0,0.3695990645477662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890171529854474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410316329327041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061779852944594,0.0,0.08769487505199935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836106342297668,0.16401860209902114,0.0,0.0,0.10342713837653644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480178717493157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118427525601206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644067195340938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550277042922053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586774747348835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728564956778443,0.16412196375365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26148361817617605,0.11879123993276015,0.0,0.0,0.10921760866456197,0.0,0.1232278738503388,0.0,0.0,0.16131269848755694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402421362809275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997626845399377,0.0,0.1462627433229901,0.0,0.1714381173723755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994474582605298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18749701038233213,0.0
mentalhealth,wonderlandisgone,2019/01/25,"Struggling with finishing my program and managing stress I’m in my final semester of my nursing program and I am really struggling to manage my stress, which then leads to my depression “flaring up” because I feel like I’m a failure of a human being if I can’t handle stuff that everyone else seems to be able to. 

This final semester is where we work full time with a nurse on 12 hour shifts and only have a certain number of shifts (35) before we are done. In that time, we are expected to work towards becoming independent and confident in our abilities, and only need our instructor as a supervisor rather than a lead. 

It’s incredibly stressful because I feel like my instructor is expecting way too much from me very early on. For example, I was given a full patient load and expected to manage on my own on the third shift (which is crazy because usually you start the first week by shadowing and then get one patient with lots of help). I ended up breaking down after the shift because I felt like it went horribly wrong and I had no idea what I was doing. This was all in front of my instructor. 

After that shift, she said she realized she was putting too much on me too early on and she was going to slow down a bit however she hasn’t. The last few shifts I’ve had three patients and been expected to complete skills independently that I have never seen demonstrated nor completed myself. 

She is also continually criticizing me by saying things like “your IV bag is running on fumes, you need to change that before shiftchange (it was the end of the shift) otherwise you’re leaving your teammates stranded!” When in reality, the bag still had about 200 mls in it running at 82/hr. I can’t seem to anticipate her expectations of me because in that example, I figured the other shift had at least two hours before they ran out, and the new bag was already pulled and ready to go sitting in the med room. 

I come home exhausted and feeling like I have no clue what I am doing. Is this normal? I feel like I won’t ever get to the point where I can work independently and yet we are given so little time to do so. It’s terrifying me thinking that I’ve done years of schooling and might not be able to work in this career. I’m not sure what to do. ",6.511867881548972,6.435487312072892,7.224687015945332,74.54144054669706,65.4009111617312,10.57753075170843,33.73312072892938,10.264317810270406,3.367478469248292,1786,71,337,39,25,594,219,439,0.107,0.831,0.062,-0.9687,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,6,4,1,8,14,17,1,5,19,0,41,2,0,5,5,59,66,24,0,10,4,0,5,6,0,2,2,2,2,1,24,24,0,0,11,0,0,12,10,9,0,5,21,8,50,8,59,40,10,76,0,1,1,0,22,31,0,5,36,244,74,13,0.16945175009240734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934971099558338,0.06775525166383355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25824053515512563,0.09357307241459832,0.2162864379262713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249871174120636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962874154876536,0.07298383921062612,0.17766693601742997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297427202725436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17340797273555547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707775968142751,0.0,0.15008395463778465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663940462717977,0.0,0.08095920445425639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135979260425782,0.2421127282481529,0.08135012683583373,0.18562610949012345,0.0,0.07206778603206752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853154556021649,0.0,0.0963033345946284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056789968098674176,0.0,0.08498696079693938,0.0,0.16687584038529976,0.0,0.0,0.09564520005820866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906289637456077,0.0,0.08971246822332775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24835669726991985,0.08491758508231309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203090913831875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941113470950434,0.0,0.0,0.08988076430501211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456653368617608,0.12564632557819094,0.06534581802014867,0.08182877807996823,0.0,0.0,0.0830133685386954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741244565418838,0.128875691733577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009333774165542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517290586514732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427756508462003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059370919910021,0.06737741648435952,0.0,0.08574710884534703,0.0,0.1542625091214773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599694104393886,0.0,0.06766219325677275,0.0,0.29115961081972674,0.17714776111600633,0.0969908564398962,0.0,0.0,0.0798531345415023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628810662682057,0.054288919648715885,0.0,0.0,0.14821301726063954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827648687689924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331358138192776,0.06990772012456763,0.0,0.06725145594680955,0.06796198637606447,0.0,0.0,0.07854173500004995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24672578445575155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263444387233476,0.0,0.054560685682826
mentalhealth,Acctforthispost,2019/01/25,"Constantly losing bits of time. Hey! Had to make an account, just so I could ask about this.

English isn't my native language, so bear with me. 

​

I've noticed, that I seem to lose any memory of how I got to some place. Its generally something short, such as finding myself in another room, down 1-2 hallways, up or down a floor or at worst, 1-2 blocks down the street. 

Usually it happens when I'm on my way somewhere, so the fact that I've moved isn't the weird thing. The weird thing is, that I have absolutely no memory of it. I've said hi to people that I've met on the way etc.

This also happens with phone calls/text messages/literally anything. It feels like as if my brain just stopped recording for a bit.

​

Hopefully this is the right subreddit, and that I presented my case clearly. 

Cheers for the answers.",3.2384233449477366,5.157003835365856,4.1602787456446,86.09987804878051,74.67073170731706,7.3686411149825775,28.17770034843205,8.192908349453996,1.9047871080139376,655,27,131,11,14,211,107,164,0.097,0.8170000000000001,0.086,-0.4495,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,2,10,8,0,0,10,0,7,1,1,2,2,22,18,12,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,14,3,0,2,4,0,1,1,3,5,0,0,4,2,11,3,22,13,5,23,0,2,0,0,6,14,0,6,7,81,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787006110853192,0.0,0.2923026608640244,0.32780790403974275,0.0917286153763266,0.14144206019481714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110015121560546,0.0,0.12610227748917666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945260018364123,0.0,0.0,0.1505798641630961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457662463185483,0.0,0.10769726802345282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504360218206208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820353716446073,0.09636417159535927,0.0,0.0,0.12328538972621525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078824321157419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23856241562346034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339744385340624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589957101317835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018108310817565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003893453153444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336483121156832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357113294202432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935145080044618,0.0,0.14092948080863885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519380319252293,0.12830958667829276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279716979172177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384354209497756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277259213698625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792274798607148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865440604913303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856031789041993,0.0,0.0,0.2141359816243545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32780790403974275,0.0
mentalhealth,Revilox88,2019/01/25,"I feel tired of life Hey guys, I guess I’d better do a back story, I’m 30, between the ages of 7-11 I was sexually abused by my half brother, my mother was prone to what my doctor referred to as psychotic episodes, she once looked at me when I was 10 and forgot who I was, another time she thought a woman who was harassing her was hiding in the washing machine, parents pretty much argued all the time, bullied at school for not fighting back. Now my mum died in 2011, I barely have to do with my family, I get married in July, why do I feel nothing? I’m on tablets for depression and anxiety but nothing excites me anymore, it all feels so very pointless, I’ve rationalised life to “no one matters, we live, we die, what happens in between those events is not important” I feel like I’m just waiting to die, because that to me is all their is in life",6.258798972382787,5.227725156069365,7.0488631984585775,78.76259473346181,66.22543352601156,9.76981374438022,36.56326268464997,8.841846274778883,3.0619035324341684,664,30,134,9,9,222,111,173,0.21600000000000005,0.747,0.037000000000000005,-0.9847,1,0,0,0,3,0,20.0,2,0,1,1,6,7,3,0,5,0,13,6,0,0,3,22,27,6,3,0,4,4,4,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,7,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,8,5,23,3,23,19,4,16,0,1,1,0,17,8,0,1,9,89,30,2,0.0,0.1711201304722394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144231313880166,0.11048480847632837,0.0,0.1432308939804675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221079787351832,0.0,0.08804020227566478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127732267010687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439312957471114,0.0,0.4496713653528361,0.0,0.0,0.1478252127230255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615113359134215,0.0,0.292102686236541,0.10317732243156597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545615538451987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591005335705007,0.1430035584396878,0.1277146416003663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060351641927802,0.07055881012581676,0.0,0.12753001192825672,0.0,0.12128071211759638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616906846093636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27715956296559946,0.0,0.0,0.1538080211559288,0.09786618753518002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16036698530868698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693225149976152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616591471131707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465739933129647,0.1684308779755137,0.1659954100928813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191658353848353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303211915582085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,raulfitness1988,2019/01/25,Dealing with my mental health Well I been dealing with mental illness for like 6 years and it been up and downs with this Illness and I get upset a lot about this illness I’ve had thought about ending my life but I think about my parents and friends people that care about me and I automatically feel good. I know just gotta stay strong and find stuff to deal with this illness. Sometimes it feels like the medication doesn’t work right. I have a lot of anxiety and the medicine doesn’t work right. I drink sometimes with hanging with friends or just me abs my brother. My twin brother helps me to man up and go to try store or gym he’s a great help in my life he’s also my twin brother. I’m soo lucky to have him in my life. I barly come out I just need a little push to go out with friend again. Also does any body have any material I can use for my anxiety or other medications I can ask my docter? Please help. Kind of want to get closer to god so can heal me I know this illness is for life but just want him to help me feel better and happy. I just see the world differently not like before. If u guys have any question please feel free to ask away thanks. God bless u all!,0.7853265306122452,3.08922819591837,2.078826530612247,95.74313775510204,85.40816326530611,4.642857142857143,19.362244897959183,5.985473137389443,-0.25889795918367353,928,26,208,7,28,296,124,245,0.064,0.619,0.317,0.9976,2,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,15,19,0,1,7,0,13,16,1,1,1,49,37,18,0,4,12,4,4,3,3,1,13,0,0,2,9,19,2,0,10,3,2,5,3,1,1,0,4,5,30,19,33,32,3,22,1,0,1,0,23,13,0,8,6,121,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544813686949329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970476595572987,0.0,0.1477777636715755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805918363435083,0.0,0.0907467779644854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218852448214688,0.0,0.0,0.08542345788463808,0.0,0.10728651545048093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984770052429197,0.0,0.0,0.08320125080346076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.298731236381308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091298206867727,0.0,0.0,0.08452403892203138,0.0,0.0,0.0946186057391898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554751905662612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953493983914739,0.06900185727264338,0.0,0.0,0.08827887714753309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238689061532577,0.0,0.1009255666164125,0.0,0.1097853714120685,0.08101269306025688,0.0,0.10648763992694306,0.0,0.09563643343701074,0.0,0.10281878444413027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266759111779347,0.0,0.0,0.2589612401870132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058062144543944,0.10616350950824226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728893549135133,0.14156276294701453,0.09680566780911523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422982955234805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946027222757385,0.1946741972898036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161812505365096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724856558332932,0.0,0.0,0.06696134701744365,0.0,0.0,0.2120473046808191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819967853154548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496974414848242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696742884504494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105426127755587,0.0,0.0,0.102949017767643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056914324566444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892444249273504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188912598179815,0.0,0.07667938377794283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557631380807519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342025949535163,0.0,0.0,0.11393917080856565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684341982907473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063314628421753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062198938047159674
mentalhealth,CierraRose,2019/01/25,"what makes you feel safe? Something I've realized helps me manage my depression is making myself feel safe/warm/protected/ok. When i am depressed I just hurt immensely. I used to self injure because it allowed me to take care of myself physically but I am starting to be more healthy about giving myself those ""healing"" tasks without actually harming myself. 

​

Personally, I like to make tea (I have a lot of kinds), play Tv in the background, use a lot of blankets/electric blanket (warm and cozy), think about times I got hugs from people or people asked me if I am ok, using a lot of bright colored artwork on my walls. 

​

What do you like to do? I am looking for more ideas to make myself feel safe and secure.

​",4.9114229249011885,6.894067797101452,5.207075098814234,80.07527667984193,70.30434782608695,7.047167325428196,31.38603425559947,7.686295010490155,2.278179710144928,588,26,100,7,11,186,90,138,0.043,0.67,0.28800000000000003,0.9901,1,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,0,0,4,16,0,0,4,1,9,4,0,8,0,26,27,6,0,1,5,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,2,1,3,6,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,7,21,12,17,25,5,6,0,3,3,1,7,3,0,5,5,67,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.10891241075123848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627786742729805,0.4068444553060816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043375541299139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803464018477451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379085647637913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922540292575584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692956794858673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706368106624314,0.0,0.0,0.0892623775292964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480787327553354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947768765666347,0.12599080867479073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622159945837612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905116377958757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372183839875883,0.0,0.0,0.2846530454134885,0.0,0.0,0.29799437068184825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547485935245737,0.09745099753674118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643052523863452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592058295938915,0.0,0.0,0.0789960657974551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839146346308877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151331048980772,0.0,0.0,0.06507898597955154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891780498008294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758524259587476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068444553060816,0.0
mentalhealth,leovan18,2019/01/25,"I read a article about behavior theories of depression on Wiki, I found this useful. I’m super new to this sub, so if I do anything incorrectly, just correct me.😊

The article said people who is depression is dysfunctional in social interactions, which further explains that they usually violate social norms interacting:’the pro-happiness social norm cause people to approach social interaction with the expectation of positive exchange, however, individuals with depression typically violate these expectations”.

So people do find depressing people annoying, just they don’t usually show it out. 

The article also stated that people who found annoyed by depressive people may avoid contacting or approach negatively in the future. Which is serious, because this causes reinforcements, depressing people will stay in the same stage since people surrounding them reinforce their behaviors.

What I tried to say, depressing people have to interact to more positive environment to form their new behaviors, if they stick with their old environments, nothing will change.
——
I found this two very important to understand depression, what do you think?",12.50179775280899,13.786085022471912,11.90256179775281,41.4309213483146,52.70786516853932,17.007640449438206,48.13707865168539,15.112257680678324,8.908463370786517,946,54,104,44,10,310,112,178,0.195,0.725,0.08,-0.9676,1,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,7,1,6,15,4,1,6,0,11,0,0,3,1,25,20,6,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,14,4,0,1,7,2,1,2,2,14,0,1,4,2,13,1,19,13,3,18,0,8,0,0,21,7,0,4,6,76,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707374998635178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902089048574123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051128615615731794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17232274272852435,0.08872723006122606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5779222076159459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665902218360808,0.0,0.0,0.2758894762566003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928508984569088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201144170656642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047905611757834,0.0,0.08801131597985352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5233270287396425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389637539902453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797830746480521,0.06669971518105246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938117316049147,0.0,0.0,0.3419946090003085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939818099001436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05374286618568933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056944721742793,0.0,0.0819323960747358,0.08731545675233117,0.0,0.07243992821214994,0.18475001344533096,0.06920456830439295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,youd0ntsuck,2019/01/25,"Favorite mental health platforms with positive message? I am looking for pages, profiles, subreddits, websites, blogs, etc. Which have positive or encouraging messages about mental health but at the same time are genuine. Thank you in advance!",8.399864864864867,12.465719729729733,6.195878378378378,67.11652027027029,67.91891891891892,8.024324324324324,44.38513513513514,8.841846274778883,5.376194594594597,198,13,22,4,4,57,34,37,0.0,0.715,0.285,0.8845,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,5,5,3,5,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,1,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32579346334845105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6210244601777678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453090686174534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5887809237860244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689468667493102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033879947262662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,purpleeclipse19,2019/01/25,"Anxiety/Depression: Medication and Job Outlook Hi all, first time here. To introduce: I am a 20 F college student going pre med, want to eventually be a doctor. I have been struggling with anxiety and possibly depression for a long time. I’ve gotten better but in recent months I have taken a steep plummet downhill. I was wondering two things:
1. I used to be of the mindset that medicine is for wimps who can’t work it out. I’ve now seen the difference it has made in my friends lives and I’m wondering y’alls imput, what I may be put on, side effects, and if I could eventually be weaned off. I have high anxiety and scored “low/moderate” on a depression screening. 
2. Would/could medical schools and or employers be able to see this info, and if so, would it be negative? ",4.593666870042711,6.047311295302013,5.927626601586332,76.69039048200122,70.2751677852349,10.25039658328249,33.679682733374015,10.436869588844218,3.8369140939597326,609,30,114,18,11,205,102,149,0.139,0.8109999999999999,0.05,-0.9186,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,4,3,6,0,1,7,0,18,3,0,3,1,24,29,12,0,5,4,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,4,0,2,6,3,10,2,14,14,1,17,0,2,3,0,4,8,0,6,7,75,18,7,0.149516264846958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22875906672781895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322349859467502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23875314246219345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863344194730676,0.0,0.0,0.15621267385028118,0.0,0.1530362326174728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717845849840315,0.0,0.0,0.11551589532962865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497353891620177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797214282338284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837182212246824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202560112481962,0.13231718938708986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147590495023474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607886421583778,0.3012438138489276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934245613246923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855712338333956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030514284064625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762927375977955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131844231753724,0.11914510514695885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563068634795601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933196268035016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743682728204251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605566519248206,0.0,0.0,0.12913404719508345,0.0,0.0,0.08818856683958087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242880225793572,0.1088496215387053,0.0,0.0,0.2124241294321404,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThesePercentage,2019/01/25,"Help with remembering my childhood. For context, 18 male.

​

Does anyone have tips for remembering the past? I have close to 0 recollection on my childhood, massive black gaps in my memory. I'm trying to see if there was some event or traumatizing thing that happened to me in my past. I'm looking for answers as to why I have many many bad things that have happened. Lack of empathy, emotion, loss of any sort of attachment to others, vivid gory nightmares on a nightly basis. Constant violent vivid thoughts. 

​

I can only remember some small events that I've had during ages 1-13 or so, for some reason I can barely remember anything else, my retarded brain doesn't want to have a good memory.

​

Any tips for trying to go back and remember bad parts of your brain?",5.659377334993772,7.50306897260274,5.831569115815692,76.8933188044832,68.17808219178083,8.870734744707347,32.4508094645081,9.339509955726095,3.1356383561643835,634,28,108,13,11,201,92,146,0.156,0.7959999999999999,0.049,-0.9483,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,1,3,5,1,0,3,0,10,2,2,1,0,21,19,6,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,9,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,3,5,11,1,22,16,5,17,0,1,5,0,3,6,0,7,10,64,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138094364686013,0.35192705168195004,0.13130365178888193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750436518097193,0.0,0.07944578603079755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423478830602953,0.16121696517826112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21554545404803965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432753383805372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448449729884569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064839812513906,0.10859668190906073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486700607783001,0.08097479409774751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17074342735048806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471002355101267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107091011249755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957567370681106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905980654194666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342449138853728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454550691435373,0.18432040049194065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926118750660508,0.0,0.0,0.5468159592365021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693142231828905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827634272076682,0.0,0.0,0.0766435120030238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109127243427374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056942934171002574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711407957701299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35192705168195004,0.0
mentalhealth,gittir,2019/01/25,"How do I get rid of a really silly childhood-cartoon-acquired fear? There’s a particular episode of a particular cartoon that I saw as a young kid that terrified me then, and even though it’s not reality in any way, it still chills my blood even now every time I think of it. I have no idea what to do about it.",7.083948717948723,4.905685292307696,8.109230769230772,75.51410256410256,65.30769230769229,11.743589743589745,35.512820512820504,10.504223727775694,3.3153589743589733,244,9,54,5,3,84,48,65,0.161,0.816,0.023,-0.8508,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,4,0,3,1,1,1,0,5,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,6,1,7,5,0,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,5,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22512027050371985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4373009343054944,0.0,0.2789176070069828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725148785263269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295605724376448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37370671869965694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21207431982405656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26437098993594993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21211868458975255,0.3252476022887349,0.0,0.1930335598487624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262766149418491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FunkyMothman,2019/01/25,"Stuck on past relationship I've been going on two years since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend and the thought of her won't leave my mind. I live life as normally as I can and some days go by without even the thought of her, but when they do they drag my down and depress me the entire day, if not a few days after. Every other night I have dreams about her, dreams we're back together, dreams we never split up and it hurts more than anything. This was a girl I had crushed on for 3 years and ended up being together with for 20 months before she eventually cheated on me. I used to self harm but with her help and a few close friends, it got me out of it and since then I never had any second thoughts or urges, but since the dreams and thoughts have festered in my head and wont leave, the want for the release the old habit brought me has come back. So I just want to know, if anyone in my situation has went through what I'm going through, and overcame it, can you give me any advice? I want help more than anything in the world.",9.992663551401867,5.623399644859816,8.958387850467293,78.480011682243,61.897196261682254,12.008411214953272,38.4322429906542,8.472884824447931,2.9494224299065426,820,25,183,7,8,256,123,214,0.125,0.757,0.119,-0.1162,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,1,2,0,7,5,1,0,11,0,14,2,1,1,2,40,33,21,0,6,9,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,7,17,0,0,5,4,0,6,6,4,0,2,12,0,28,1,32,18,5,37,0,2,0,0,17,13,0,4,18,125,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429236654758765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590741895872904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178144353542544,0.0,0.19249691622125156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987068338286102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952470093843667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075104348316917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262893806075815,0.0,0.10073783639899378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20718442881853585,0.0,0.0,0.07725125282450075,0.0,0.09854419639107756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036332859809287,0.0,0.0,0.11219909022636232,0.1994139022335427,0.0,0.09354393058867927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003513166268867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679220515667985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520854620282407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427838680008076,0.0,0.0,0.2476883892300077,0.0,0.0,0.08261260196656127,0.0,0.0,0.10327819166149703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809668023064847,0.0,0.0933566895571277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041416905436536,0.0,0.0,0.10975942891481924,0.11459637631817995,0.0,0.0,0.12273028353782195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116519530614569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511434348350605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201522380189447,0.0,0.0,0.2902525985223206,0.13146840996738235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37141402825894976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114253333099658,0.0,0.0,0.10101624808077808,0.0,0.0,0.20695885413466436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842347900330054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127456689404412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506373486283134
mentalhealth,Lsheiahegaoaneywk,2019/01/26,"Nausea when I eat in public I’m in my 20s and I’ve always struggled on and off with eating; it also depends on PMS. I feel disgusted at restaurants because I’m overloaded with stimuli of unhealthy food and lots of people eating. I’ve been conditioned to a point where I feel nausea on my way to a restaurant. I lose my appetite at the restaurant but when I’m on my own, I can eat. 

I try to still go out with my friends and family but today i just panicked and cried at the restaurant. I don’t know how to go about resolving this so I’m not associating food/eating with nausea. Do I have an eating disorder because I’m afraid of gaining weight? ",2.803409090909092,4.495739795454547,4.555151515151518,83.77772727272728,75.28787878787878,6.921212121212123,27.15151515151515,7.686295010490155,1.6454151515151518,511,20,100,7,11,173,73,132,0.14300000000000002,0.772,0.085,-0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,9,6,1,2,5,0,5,8,0,2,0,21,15,12,0,0,4,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,7,0,4,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,3,14,2,23,14,2,20,0,1,0,0,2,13,0,2,4,67,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194544982064706,0.10607330155523224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542085297790406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400304367013243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461027515562124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.78266119547771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017649193045984,0.0,0.12891510775347512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082978573883569,0.0,0.0984904804657248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489927383323653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005949534748844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261714797962324,0.0,0.10837866073510186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883783552665228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050949768766735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180543290779616,0.0,0.0,0.13326943482767376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083582583241932,0.0,0.0,0.08655033115282611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118743210646976,0.0,0.15523590059103354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mexijk,2019/01/26,feeling excluded im constantly being excluded from things that my roommates do and i understand like they’re similar and stuff and im the different one between then 2 but it just affects my emotional status so much like it feels SO shitty to be left out of things??? i have friends it’s just i LIVE with these people. what to do,1.7623461538461562,4.438925600000001,3.3725961538461564,85.35427884615387,85.30769230769229,7.5576923076923075,26.586538461538463,8.472884824447931,2.4464230769230766,264,12,50,7,8,87,48,65,0.13699999999999998,0.684,0.179,0.2502,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,12,8,7,0,0,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,3,7,6,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521585239705876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437914864528257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26247700880957603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23596825321796236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802785339832944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.504096240968432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25352547703579864,0.0,0.0,0.22799707033223499,0.0,0.2060442136653799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153234674615891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811777439853653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176914000179096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26711940560165903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100425367192521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429160164636532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sarahnicolexo2010,2019/01/26,"Depression creeping back in... This is my first time posting to this sub and my first time going somewhat ""public"" with how I've been feeling. It is nice to be around others who share in the same struggles, it's somewhat comforting. Thank you to anyone who might read this.
I have been doing pretty well the last few weeks with depression/anxiety, but its rearing its ugly head the last couple days. I feel like I am always the strong one for everyone else, but no one is there for me. I am surrounded by dysfunctional and manipulative relationships, and am stuck in a really codependent relationship with a parent. This parent has a lot of health issues, so I am the caretaker. It just really weighs on you after awhile.  It's not to say that I dont love this person, but I am essentially not able to do anything for myself or anything that I want/need to do. I have this great opportunity to get a second master's degree (LMSW) but I feel like I can't pursue this dream because I have so many other responsibilities. I am just so overwhelmed and burned out. 
Any advice would be appreciated... 
Thank you all for your time, and I hope you're all doing well! ",5.416033182503772,6.508583393665159,6.387674208144798,75.50781598793367,68.00452488687782,9.151251885369533,26.950527903469077,9.3871,2.248413333333333,914,27,169,18,15,304,129,221,0.078,0.722,0.201,0.9781,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,4,0,5,11,17,0,2,9,0,25,4,1,2,2,33,35,14,0,2,9,2,3,2,0,2,1,1,0,1,19,10,1,0,3,2,0,1,5,3,2,5,3,4,22,14,23,28,7,20,0,2,0,1,15,7,0,6,13,133,41,1,0.12474091425887555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189537771668492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379443344967944,0.0,0.0,0.08482809924425165,0.0,0.09542645797714308,0.0,0.0,0.08722174762052673,0.0,0.2053022876406768,0.1110458602999978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591806326795696,0.0,0.0760409035289038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802344901733735,0.0,0.0804475701386143,0.0,0.1074391666665173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619542248954964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420502745877924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919528922879713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18921826288317747,0.17822986814190778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122091158893479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517197920889177,0.0,0.07089313622881614,0.0,0.0,0.13752729834452282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802016578424127,0.13259375870905918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389587394876753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301971057792941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336098813805534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188421959985693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605026452558868,0.11258354532908847,0.0,0.0,0.12646770819782058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233039738544533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905534364409866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770200463850973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891895484949037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946731428647164,0.12690635496945346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477467092183488,0.0,0.1598244476957927,0.0,0.0,0.2678501178601371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919898175234756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040628773956606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296893487583899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821229073263002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357542315553027,0.0,0.10005963716251266,0.0,0.2243141254005753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861236649783129,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,baskeyt,2019/01/26,"My brother is exhibiting textbook signs of schizophrenia. He has quit his job and his family is headed towards financial oblivion. How do I convince him to seek treatment ? I will try to provide context in what follows. Our father was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was in his mid 20's. He was also an alcoholic, and I've garnered that this was co-morbid with his diagnosis. Our mother reflects on the negative symptoms the most, such as his inability to do his share of raising my brother and I. He left when I was a baby, my brother was around 5. I believe this had a profound impact on him.

Our relationship was fairly good early on, but as he grew up he became very hostile to me and exhibited classic anti-social behavior: deception, lying, inability to make friends outside of the 'bad clique', early drug and alcohol use... He also very early on manifested 'schizo-adjacent' traits: grandiose thinking, paranoia, propensity towards conspiracy-thinking. He often spoke in a glib and ambiguous way, like he was foiling your attempts to understand him while still trying to impress a sense of insight or savvy. Aside from his anger and hostility, which I think stemmed from his abandonment and fatherless upbringing, he always seemed to genuinely believe that he was exceptional, that he was profoundly smart and occupied a central place in the world, that it's shadowy forces and schemes revolved around him.

In his early twenties he started using meth, and this is when his grasp of reality really started to deteriorate. He'd report full-blown hallucinations, shadow people mostly. He claimed that contrails were dispersing agents that made fibers grow out of his skin, which only he possessed the ability to see. Around this time he had his first kid with his wife. They are still together, and they have a few more. She has told us that his usage is sparingly intermittent, and she is confident that she knows exactly when he is using, which I believe. Aside from this, he mostly seemed to have shaped up. He wasn't in jail, and he was holding a steady job and making quite good money doing so. He was involved in raising his children. I had my suspicions that he had schizophrenia, but I never was confident because the positive symptoms may also have resulted from meth. Cut to the past several months.

He has quit his job, he told me with nonchalance. He explained that he felt he was being pushed out and didn't want to give them the satisfaction of firing him. He has savings, and a 401k. He was going to get a job shortly, but for now he was enjoying his time at home with the kids. Okay. Around this time he confided in me that he sees 'invisible aliens made of gamma radiation' at night when he closes his eyes, and they are stabbing him, futilely.

A few months pass and I am told that he has started using again. I go to his home and his demeanor is detached, flat. He spends a lot of time in the garage, in the dark, thinking. No reports of meth-type-psychosis this time but he now no longer plans to return to his field. The wife has picked up a full time job but it is nowhere near enough to keep them afloat. She is due for a baby in a couple weeks. He says he wants to get on disability for 'sensitivity to electromagnetism', which takes a year and plenty of documentation, by the way. 

Just yesterday I visited them. She just recently had the baby. and she's returned to work. He seems to be present enough to watch the kids and the newborn, for now. I don't believe he is currently a danger to them, through negligence or worse. Still he's in the deepend. He keeps with him a backpack filed with his essential documents and, sensing some sort of imminent intervention, he claims hes got enough in it to send everyone to jail. He unplugged the router, it's been tampered with, apparently. I went there to tell him finally that I think he is schizophrenic. I said that I've suspected this since I was a teen. I implored him to go to the hospital and get help, but he immediately retorted that he doesn't need help, and he doesn't have schizophrenia. I told him his family is going to get evicted and he said matter-of-factly, 'I haven't gotten a notice'.  I told him that his wife income is simply not enough, and that the only way to avoid destitution is for him to return to work, and for that he needs to get help for his thinking. In the few times that he revealed some delusion or something, instead of humoring it or letting pass as I always have, I said, 'this is what I'm talking about'. After his simple denial I didn't push the issue. It seemed counter-productive, and so I just enjoyed time with his kids. He's a grown man, and an obstinate one at that. I can't force him to go get help. I don't know what to do. The wife is in her own state of denial too.

If I can honestly speculate, I think they are just going to move in with her parents. Those people are clueless, and do anything to avoid confronting him or involving themselves outside of genteel grandparenting. Any comments are welcome.",6.073714637567133,7.095182239660659,6.396281086443405,76.2945263058872,66.47613997879111,9.519714021824653,33.449338076830976,9.658775521751052,3.2199244483973586,3984,172,714,81,62,1283,406,943,0.085,0.831,0.084,0.2835,11,2,7,0,0,0,125.0,4,1,8,8,34,25,6,2,45,1,79,10,3,11,2,122,141,59,0,5,18,10,3,1,1,2,7,5,2,7,43,49,2,6,20,0,2,18,14,10,0,2,42,12,100,15,118,93,16,112,0,1,4,0,160,44,0,20,47,478,143,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902789842065298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336019476069932,0.09267439728348226,0.0,0.0,0.03787001243171542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045826797101898416,0.19829788230632425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04649747659204969,0.033947123507587024,0.0,0.0,0.2509669662274874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616181404124649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652254002971455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458084840575545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301639586457364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321263973980117,0.0,0.0,0.10499610923771864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346958411070162,0.06100390534457328,0.0,0.0473685130779205,0.0,0.0,0.04302470924113232,0.0,0.17456930084455324,0.053421374677102035,0.1898939602014359,0.09341755289693933,0.0445390898862432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05715235061202927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930700634426364,0.0,0.11171998435393167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058124207171473964,0.2763106535330145,0.09899679323214408,0.0,0.0,0.06120976164706884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050559483524193,0.05694514816313876,0.0,0.027206532697296643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047344274736214886,0.0,0.10538739552233173,0.07434486078436148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889987755486123,0.05918794171239671,0.0,0.08258446587626428,0.0429503167212257,0.0,0.0,0.052259778261781464,0.0,0.0,0.06340159708949464,0.0,0.0,0.03773589189482975,0.08470705464146834,0.0,0.0,0.06183536289214285,0.0,0.05316086615223601,0.07721463070484079,0.0,0.05818251118609745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769436147059411,0.0,0.0,0.035675406351521374,0.0,0.054985563336276994,0.05978848626557669,0.0,0.0,0.15891722411856826,0.04428564008440261,0.0,0.0,0.08875286802434068,0.202786462109495,0.0,0.06291202563540567,0.0,0.04606600875099354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04287164058845132,0.0,0.0,0.1182495796974825,0.0,0.13341845209750544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576311247705333,0.04187073611578072,0.04476021560123936,0.048674104334596915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24978008613383496,0.0,0.0,0.2597787678507653,0.0,0.0,0.26606319869900585,0.0,0.07561751785483395,0.0,0.0,0.05797357426553775,0.06698627218611222,0.19238754347512133,0.0,0.09189750198499856,0.0656929063457111,0.13260854728247792,0.044669864549795005,0.0,0.0,0.0516236921702713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108361718266299,0.0,0.056751223398852475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03586149506739757
mentalhealth,Klane30,2019/01/26,"Where to start I've spent the last 5 or so years completely numb, not feeling anything at all. I've just been kind of been barlely living. Idk numb is the only thing that describes it. But recently ive been actually feeling things. I cry all the time. I feel everything. I know i need to do something to help my self but i just cant figure out how to or what to do. Ive already talked to my doctor and shes upped my meds. Im just at a loss as this is all so new to me",-0.30830419580419743,1.5361765961538474,2.1665034965034984,96.36940559440559,85.92307692307692,5.320279720279721,20.031468531468533,6.574015621080383,0.0234923076923077,362,11,89,4,11,124,69,104,0.132,0.8490000000000001,0.019,-0.787,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,4,0,11,3,0,1,3,20,18,9,0,1,8,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,4,3,12,1,13,14,3,11,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,2,6,59,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.2018452969743896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282522850414584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170211100740259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21686704616564811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272032328501611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170876406476907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589380467664465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137524591238321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864000707697924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22342191245649284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153912772263902,0.1136734570695633,0.16860161684699604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18264287065213905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22975180765395564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336870270018266,0.0,0.1997666621751847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731059034008193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20422883230264471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21577847539665365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592349803298553,0.0,0.0,0.1464019045278036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624957554676353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748296490511448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060964550530202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331977125968562
mentalhealth,GalantFoxes87,2019/01/26,"I feel the need to see a therapist again; not sure why. I’m 24 years old. I had quite the traumatic childhood, I witnessed my father’s death when I was 5, my mother’s when I was 7, and then spent the next two years being neglected and abused in foster care. 
I was unbelievably lucky in that I was adopted by the most caring parents I could ever hope for, who were more than understanding when it came to my mental health needs. I spent nearly 7 years in therapy and made it through a couple of rough patches in high school. 

I’m not sure why, but I’ve recently been feeling the need to start seeing a therapist again. I’m guessing it has something to do with just needing to talk about things. Keeping those memories suppressed for too long is bound to cause problems. However, I just feel like I’d be a waste of time. I’m not depressed, and I’ve learned great coping mechanisms for my anxiety. 

Has anyone else ever gone to a therapist when they are seemingly ‘fine’? ",3.8672807017543844,5.537495026315792,4.627894736842105,84.44359649122809,72.42105263157895,8.014035087719298,27.929824561403517,8.648137234880735,2.0667087719298247,765,29,150,14,15,246,119,190,0.112,0.77,0.117,0.4579,2,0,1,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,12,12,0,0,10,0,15,1,0,2,4,38,41,10,1,7,6,3,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,4,6,0,2,2,3,3,0,1,12,6,15,9,22,26,2,27,0,2,2,0,6,6,0,5,20,92,22,2,0.0,0.1349910228912859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715781871488773,0.0,0.0,0.07966404106633022,0.11673699951779827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030808126914464,0.23232293566500525,0.11703975019371834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096558840698857,0.1260638087472352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812963416751637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951757309760738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611638951526992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17282262596258313,0.08139318416707629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561064920099282,0.12550915961763753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110459750122787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037562124332962,0.0,0.11316037868382126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126817139455578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055661516424692185,0.0,0.0,0.10082640894128984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780539938859376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481685724761448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379171212252909,0.0,0.0,0.12116818384193695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195526750955942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650822159303704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901772546961484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118091550065414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249429946901124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530546572322825,0.18157842001550786,0.10371959298340176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771057132924169,0.0,0.0,0.08064179530918789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21475949432590488,0.0,0.0,0.09157438412240992,0.0,0.0,0.13029139634369738,0.3968521854653913,0.07569148903889214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643478017941462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112952012894414,0.11860743491580535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20561217320609435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22010579799898308
mentalhealth,DangerousPolicy4,2019/01/26,"Everything out of my mouth, and most thoughts are negativity I'm not a pleasant person to be around. I've been called ""memorable"", ""the most negative person"", among other things. I make a point of keeping my mouth shut all of the time. I don't try to pick at people, but on occasion I don't keep my mouth shut and out comes negativity. It's so self-referential sometimes it's slightly ""weird"" while still being a jab. Sometimes I'll have a two-parter where the first part slips out, I catch myself, and don't finish the thought which leaving it unexplained is also weird.

I can't engage in normal banter. I've been trying for years. My mind is empty. Sometimes I think of something, then it's gone, but usually someone else is faster and goes right over me. Then there's the periods where my mind is a storm of negativity, insults, self-hatred, victimization, I can't seem to wrangle. It's weird. I'll have swings between irritability and empathy within an afternoon of being around coworkers, maybe 1/3 of the time it's actually neutral. I'm stable and content when I'm not trying to keep up with the constant socialization, it's draining and distracting. My poor memory and space-case nature is the butt of jokes at work.

I physically can't keep up with my coworkers. I'm so burnt out by the end of the workday, I lose an hour or two just kind of staring into space doing the least-effort dopamine I can get (usually just browsing the web). Then I don't have enough time to take care of myself and get enough sleep, assuming I can fall asleep at all. I might get no more than 6 hours per night every night, which is to say when I don't sleep at all I only get 6 hours the next night to recover, and I've never been able to stay asleep longer than 4 hours or so before waking.

I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams. I'm trying to juggle two jobs, get one day off per week, can only afford rent by helping my less-than-independent alcoholic parents with their own errands, and my student loans are an extra car payment. There's no reprieve in the  future short of my parents dying and my startup company finally paying off.",4.763379805312656,5.848760150717705,5.670613760105598,80.07964114832538,69.50239234449761,8.540636858604191,28.289391189572676,8.841846274778883,2.1346512786668863,1685,58,325,29,29,554,214,418,0.129,0.8320000000000001,0.039,-0.9881,6,0,2,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,1,3,15,13,2,1,23,0,30,10,9,2,4,55,56,26,1,1,8,2,1,1,0,1,1,1,1,2,11,24,1,4,7,1,4,6,17,7,0,4,6,3,31,6,52,46,11,72,0,1,1,1,10,31,1,7,35,204,42,4,0.08100978624356503,0.0,0.07905386557156502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657482484519025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478349679094933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423176965765325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893336144058472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827200491917651,0.0,0.08259487609454674,0.0,0.0,0.13956551550428534,0.0,0.08754279967548374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052244610354694826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407536832501612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767328145777073,0.0,0.07175062563334729,0.16740952894092878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825423883363461,0.0,0.07280637233454504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040960981996475014,0.057873407478923514,0.0,0.08874226110275675,0.0,0.06890688279490792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116213487831935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054299152106055563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319113285084546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803897128316602,0.28802088075248305,0.0,0.08435922625090055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577766674219837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03957728959624651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062922930574033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407466136887908,0.0,0.08138521873699503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593858133405648,0.1635935816236842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062479741245945825,0.0,0.08615482670601883,0.22806658990849665,0.0793723905124698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05489432770838629,0.12322318575801415,0.0,0.0,0.17990356152325904,0.1754514083114822,0.0,0.05616198569794901,0.14146924130952354,0.0,0.0,0.07658043267711152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918191482205252,0.0,0.06442223351561817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374826688135112,0.1690217492598667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621365810847199,0.08257927527237441,0.06863932899747993,0.06236529123036433,0.2403622500292693,0.0,0.0,0.08634565344060477,0.06469451993871791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090927746286945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381930234898229,0.05190779999307437,0.0,0.1286254427929151,0.1417123734662001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22000130894941092,0.0,0.2374043699329089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844166914178572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649811640896089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897608920721292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052167646330683916
mentalhealth,WarmPizzaRolls,2019/01/26,"Is it okay for older man to comment on girls bodies? I had a rough day, I hope somebody sees this post and helps me.

I'm 20 years old and for the last year I have been running with my mom with a trainer, this trainer has multiple students and helps all of us at the same time. Over time I met most of the people he helps, I thought everybody was really nice.

Over time we started talking to a guy (around 40 years old) who never stops talking, I never thought anything about him but he was always in some sort of drama with other woman in the group of runners.

My mom always talked to him and after some time he invited us and paid us different careers (he didn't do this only with my mom and I, he usually invited around 20 other people per career). As time passed my mom has stopped running meanwhile I still run in this place, since my mom was gone he started talking to me instead (again, this dude doesn't shut up).

He would tell me tips on how to run and things like that. Usually this annoyed me cause I didn't like to hear him talk and talk but I tried to be nice and listen to him and nod my head even though i wasn't really listening.

I feel he feels as if I need his tips and that I like him talking with me (maybe because i just stay silent and nod every time he talks?), the thing is that today my mom and I decided to go on a run and he was warming up where we all usually warm up. As usual he would not stay quite about his tips and out of nowhere he says: ""Also I was talking to one of the girls and we thing you should change your bra since your chest jiggles a lot, you could get hurt"". I felt so uncomfortable since there where a couple of people around, I don't know if they heard but still.

I know the bra I use its okay since I don't hurt myself while running and my boobs don't jiggle much, they jiggle a little but not to the point to it being something to worry about. Also, if it this was the case I would feel one of the girl would tell me this, right?. After this I have felt super bad and actually got depressed.

I have a history of body dysmorphia and anxiety and this made my brain panic. I'm so sad cause my mental health (regards my body) had improved a ton this last couple of months.

Am I exaggerating and over thinking this or am I okay?",4.1420611229566475,4.472027914712153,4.898471215351815,87.78763574982234,70.49253731343283,7.7885145700071075,26.081094527363184,7.554174236665415,1.1313666808813077,1768,49,388,18,30,572,210,469,0.077,0.8220000000000001,0.101,0.7134,1,0,1,0,0,2,46.0,6,4,2,2,21,19,1,1,19,3,34,8,7,5,4,80,63,39,0,11,11,6,8,3,0,5,1,5,0,6,25,33,0,2,11,2,1,10,11,7,0,2,22,14,64,12,55,33,9,70,0,4,1,1,66,24,1,10,36,257,89,3,0.0,0.0,0.056885737585498974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323407455603316,0.09700919582976968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459412533781959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04797032259848909,0.1556798748723408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04867237278609458,0.03553498321797929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942517547236472,0.0,0.06507447079266104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197663128013608,0.06166645807310558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04654236315986241,0.12900059617661958,0.0,0.03759428047453767,0.0,0.050207832985534884,0.0,0.0,0.06090396902452677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038502097507571685,0.0,0.04911452072983365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842435431521542,0.0,0.11194119428831507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030455782085626805,0.0,0.03312935919025918,0.0,0.046622383522362296,0.0,0.0,0.057719415879513965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059825623205236524,0.06196292747552965,0.06570065371062672,0.0,0.1172180751246351,0.0,0.0,0.0578982836503626,0.0,0.0,0.12480811581487986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640728176105696,0.09503344864820884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543731393928879,0.05842508340138543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04955877948960221,0.0,0.05515841909897942,0.0,0.0,0.0585633373262443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058745817627031426,0.0,0.0,0.40963362744076376,0.046529062415058116,0.0,0.04285219670685248,0.04322365646566425,0.08991859257557082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223377789002396,0.0,0.07900193870025901,0.044334592361799034,0.0,0.0683944901265651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123945961131675,0.0,0.06090396902452677,0.0,0.055105899831178806,0.0,0.05582875546255395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200197542879566,0.0,0.0,0.07468821125375015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04978205965990326,0.0,0.04635707873290075,0.0,0.0,0.046452119501194405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19288289301094874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04487694011828056,0.0,0.0,0.08252042973329816,0.12426555356294745,0.09310602227596756,0.0974714221455584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42168467053796904,0.1019016224036484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618220140116894,0.037351917805632205,0.05727275619620111,0.0925565515694178,0.2039473422667419,0.0,0.05525512131497755,0.0,0.0,0.0395772447016936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21035856461621785,0.050346593631186265,0.2568068213167605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05919955681990155,0.0,0.1656392183824572,0.0,0.0,0.11261669564787816
mentalhealth,atmaweapon42,2019/01/26,"I wrote a quick piece about what to expect when entering a psychiatric facility The mental hospital was the only thing that gave me a chance to live a somewhat normal life. No one ever asks advice, but I thought these few things would provide a useful heads up. 

https://totaltext.wordpress.com/2019/01/26/so-you-are-going-to-a-psych-ward-four-things-to-expect/",13.833599999999995,18.052095760000007,9.817000000000004,46.9435,51.4,9.0,28.5,9.516144504307137,2.8708000000000014,308,8,36,5,4,87,43,50,0.031,0.8540000000000001,0.114,0.597,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,0,2,2,1,1,1,9,7,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,3,0,4,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28643789335875497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740318619961869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651479145809596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30083032910326096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070425207473019,0.0,0.0,0.258834325887404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954005776012232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871997982950105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862876427933573,0.22293440997855785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894778191562101,0.0,0.0,0.23270813054274825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531654752569664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082272524243424,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whyisearth,2019/01/26,"[NSFW] I feel like I’m fucking insane.. Okay, I’m almost positive no one on earth has ever had this problem but I need to get help before I get worse. First I am a 15 year old “straight” guy. This gets a little personal so buckle up.
I was all for girls I got horny for girls I haven’t even thought of a guy sexually and if I did it sickened me, until about a year ago. I started to watch gay porn and I liked it all of a sudden and now I don’t like watching straight porn I’m all for guys. I feel like something snapped inside of me. I would still love to have a relationship with a girl and marry her and have kids I love the idea of that but I’m not sexual for girls anymore and it freaks me out. And okay I’m just having a crisis and puberty is probably fucking up my body and brain but this is where it starts to get interesting. About say may 2018 I watched a male actor he’s about 21 and cool he was a good actor. Then I started to like like him. I’m almost puking thinking about this but I’m feeling like shit. So me being a idiot I looked up nudes and got them and anyway you know how that went. Then whenever I even thought of him I would get really really sad and almost cry. No matter how good of a mood I was in I would get really sad. That happened for about a month and it stopped. I still think I like guys though ughhhhh 
But about a week ago I discovered a male youtuber and the same thing happened. I started to “love” him.. oh Jesus why am I typing this.
Now I’m basically a fucking stalker and I’m obsessed with him. And of course everytime I watch his videos or think of him I get extremely sad and I cried these times. I don’t think I get really sad because I think I might be gay. I just get very sad. And I hate it but I cannot control it. I keep just looking at pictures of him and getting sad. I feel like I’m a creepy weirdo. What is wrong with me and how can I fix this I feel like I’m insane. I can’t tell my parents because they would die if I told them this. I can’t go to a therapist because I’m to young to drive. I know it sounds like I’m a creepy Retard but Please help me..
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mentalhealth,RoseGold_327,2019/01/26,"A day in the life, or something like it. I want the floor to melt and consume me while being surrounded by music. Most day I can’t get myself out of bed with enough time to do anything but walk out the door for work. I’d love to shave, shower, do anything to feel good about myself to start the day but I can’t. My house is empty. No one would know. The bridge down the road looks nice, but I’d affect the morning commute, who would feel responsible, how else, something someone taught me? They’d never live it down that they introduced me and it was my last thing. Anxiety. Depression. Sociopath. Toxic. Narcissistic. Wanting more but never expecting anything different. That’d be insanity. ",2.0179793444095178,4.8216008473282495,2.99850022451729,87.28986528962733,86.32824427480915,5.8304445442299055,22.973057925460267,7.285733465282438,1.2018204759766506,545,20,101,9,17,173,89,131,0.117,0.752,0.131,0.2617,2,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,1,2,5,0,0,8,0,12,2,0,2,2,23,22,9,0,5,5,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,3,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,2,3,12,4,15,14,3,18,0,1,1,1,4,8,0,2,10,68,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341775556176773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330081987053547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33934797158141616,0.0,0.15106842553421074,0.0,0.0,0.1832516195624368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652095617801264,0.0,0.0,0.18123108356317907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737110182425558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916372361542512,0.0,0.0,0.147113948117233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20238357922556188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963931233474872,0.1429712517617258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238874702345455,0.08568968712112422,0.0,0.15487799186521586,0.0,0.14728857043723673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15830185082052775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705526090034045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885295365204075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861256761139552,0.2700570123556181,0.0,0.0,0.12414628010142767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165253918701612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227489104140383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20690635787634348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276904680272211,0.0,0.0,0.2491927498142005,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ColleenMew,2019/01/26,"I just had a nervous breakdown (26F) Let's just say I had a really bad day yesterday.  I woke up to find out my parakeets died, which made me heartbroken. While moaning the death of them I found out that the school I was going to cancelled me out because I didn't qualify for the payment program I had set up with them. Then, the guy who I was dating on and off for 4 months told me good bye for some unknown reason. I drove my family crazy during the break down. My hands are bruised and swollen, I still shiver when I walk and my vision is a little blurry. I don't know what to do. Thanks for listening .",3.3492921146953414,4.385682298387099,4.343010752688173,88.46507168458783,72.79032258064517,7.446594982078854,25.87455197132617,7.793537801064563,1.2704186379928315,471,15,101,6,9,153,85,124,0.196,0.742,0.062,-0.9413,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,4,4,0,1,8,0,11,2,1,2,0,15,20,6,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,11,3,21,2,17,8,1,22,0,0,0,0,8,9,0,1,9,71,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030918001601508,0.1482743350548543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568670204523245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524404418568289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293011405972313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22231318809133616,0.0,0.0,0.2666955881616101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823655620143116,0.20401471622698206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408417630814968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336760786971663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487251674387809,0.0,0.0,0.24378625251416264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23015567122711106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19414855912547335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558231333915913,0.25008699592453315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934309348633275,0.0,0.24616769670343697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194248488283887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22393891889637668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324223073618929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,selfluuuv,2019/01/26,"Not allowing myself to be happy I’m in my very early twenties, I’ve never ever experienced anything remotely sad except for the passing of my childhood dog. I went through a pretty rocky breakup with the guy I was with since high school. We were together for five years and we broke up during a time I was also having family issues. It affected me horribly to the point that I was crying 24/7, couldn’t get out of bed or eat. Right now we’re talking but unsure of what’s going on. 

During that rough time I had no willpower to do anything for myself. I was experiencing horrible anxiety and I had no friends and have never felt lonelier. Now as I am easing back into eating and no longer crying in my bed but I also seem to have a guilty conscious or one that prevents me from being happy. There’s something in my mind that will randomly take away my strength. 

Imagine when you are super excited to do something such as go to a a hyped up restaurant and someone says like wow that sounds dumb and your excitement leaves and you no longer are interested in going. That’s how I feel about random things such as telling a friend a story, making myself food, or going to the stores. I will plan to do something but then I get this sudden feeling over me and I no longer can do it, I’m not sure what’s wrong. ",3.576666666666668,5.3196313513513545,4.755907335907338,82.93211068211069,73.32432432432431,7.249935649935651,25.84684684684685,7.957251820313856,1.585897812097811,1036,35,196,15,21,341,152,259,0.157,0.649,0.194,0.9436,1,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,2,3,0,3,12,16,1,0,11,0,23,3,0,4,4,42,38,22,0,1,9,0,4,1,2,2,0,2,2,1,12,14,3,1,6,0,1,6,10,4,0,2,9,8,29,12,34,24,0,34,0,2,0,0,11,14,1,6,15,146,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012199832447764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624409526260333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070613679704268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182023780329837,0.09673991274806452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27639215066852857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25746951419840863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380209899804995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186022119437721,0.0,0.12722635423056966,0.0,0.12079706559192445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521296188481811,0.0,0.19440056288877464,0.0,0.13146077740694054,0.0,0.2860022639970638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457140751897475,0.0,0.2678535833528615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292488188737936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131266649904402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332143332764073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06146427673647105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397896836075805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703195792091607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19406443167488294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525192563592777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893085541439095,0.0,0.0,0.12799371972954687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744081773060282,0.0,0.10004894294633676,0.0,0.1273261583526714,0.0,0.11453244854999835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040711045952984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659817171782536,0.290563418417915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185741769081258,0.0,0.09459325598060564,0.1011210913609749,0.10996324493119994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358239098958861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672132475581376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380619897877688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662687550138405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755318433737,0.0,0.0810173380610582
mentalhealth,Othernamewentmissing,2019/01/26,"Im sick of the voices in my head telling me to kill myself, i haven't done anything to deserve this I am at a comedy show I'm performing on, there's a cute girl at the bar.  We make chit chat and I talk to her again for a bit before my set. After the set I try asking for her fb info and her friend tells me she has a boyfriend.  I say ""good to know, don't worry about it"" and I go on my way.

There have been voices in my head telling me to kill myself ever since and I'm sick of it.  I played every part of it fairly, it's an innocuous misunderstanding and I didn't hurt anyone's feelings.  Why do I have to die over this?  Why is it suddenly necessary to chop my dick off and cut my neck open?  Why am I able worthless piece of shit who should have killed himself a long time ago?

Anyway, if I posted this on FB there would be trouble, so I'm posting it anonymously here.  I suck.

Oh, and I'm already on 1300 mg of mood stabilizers, this is as good as it gets.  It's a miracle I talked to her at all, and as my reward for trying o get suicidal thoughts.  How lovely it is to be me.",1.2655263157894725,2.396647720338983,3.5042105263157914,92.06237734165924,78.15254237288136,6.6633363068688665,21.31935771632471,7.273561745256523,0.4046389830508477,826,21,200,10,19,285,131,236,0.19,0.6829999999999999,0.127,-0.9604,0,0,0,0,0,2,25.0,1,0,0,2,10,17,6,0,10,0,19,9,5,2,2,21,33,14,5,3,1,0,1,0,1,2,2,3,0,1,14,10,1,0,4,4,0,1,3,9,0,0,4,4,33,7,33,25,4,25,0,2,0,2,19,12,3,1,7,130,47,0,0.1233186226920398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093145183965719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13608516665247766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622724828706907,0.0,0.10148071904792798,0.0,0.11528626542665504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493506506518807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463199673645254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798526085470965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619776632525712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154875434933882,0.10390125830662786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062353600943120376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952756619868,0.0,0.12885778113627938,0.0,0.07008481515466136,0.20686761980331653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25312096861108163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201513612824864,0.0,0.1332052740893027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.409301354504198,0.0,0.06777268997094615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091331004717089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129987166004897,0.0,0.08231613823173521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335420510634255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23621030424629075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806791841179636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658479405715284,0.10201043903033996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489055780270506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19823767538691395,0.32335773516348193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790121159365504,0.07190808059382225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745049992180647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788458268353456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338276279844474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252360473721621,0.0,0.08760201137628977,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EyyitsEkajTho,2019/01/26,"This sucks Every time I get upset, whether it's angry, sad, numb, just any negative emotion, I get the extreme compulsion to hurt myself. When it happens my mind doesn't care what it is, a car lighter, a knife, punching a brick wall. 

I've been able to keep it under control and haven't harmed myself, but it's hard. Sometimes I'll sit for an hour with a knife in my hand, or I'll heat a lighter up to the point of being able to burn myself with the metal of it and I'll just hold it till it cools off.",6.393271028037383,4.192893560747667,6.651327102803742,85.49157009345797,66.66355140186916,9.30766355140187,31.6803738317757,6.742157984588678,1.6476594392523365,389,11,90,2,5,126,71,107,0.16699999999999998,0.775,0.058,-0.7459,0,0,0,0,0,2,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,1,1,9,1,5,2,1,1,0,13,11,7,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,3,7,2,14,9,0,12,0,2,0,0,0,6,1,1,4,54,17,0,0.4774282689840766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233379731105715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433849695777101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677382001076777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685212712594416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112695396574026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494365654190606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110941207657737,0.0,0.21384097627039814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23508533717406135,0.0,0.25554841817688995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218009098846705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24103322608663524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256620163220665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360943829172397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391961315105253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fritzman1998,2019/01/26,"Apprehension about things going well So recently, things have finally turned around. Or it feels like it has anyways, the past several days have been good. The main changes I made were in my diet, but outside of that I can't place what exactly changed or why I suddenly feel differently after feeling super unbalanced for so long. It's like something just clicked after trying for so long, even though I didn't change anything substantial. Has anyone else went through this? Is the uneasiness I feel even a necessarily bad thing? Or just more of a side effect of the problems I've had for what felt like half of my lifetime.",7.385416149068327,8.116188113043481,6.8240993788819875,75.39826086956522,63.52173913043478,10.397515527950313,35.55900621118012,10.290406445055957,3.673248447204969,503,22,89,11,7,156,82,115,0.123,0.725,0.151,0.3761,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,12,9,0,1,6,0,10,1,0,2,1,16,19,8,0,1,6,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,1,1,0,6,0,0,2,2,3,1,1,7,6,7,6,13,12,2,15,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,12,63,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025620750088382,0.15029100633850978,0.1207051520917577,0.1305763088244868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122471683356937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4655040114890942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459647333291424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532493934974861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253232862316753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376152936897303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29666328563373673,0.10478823002214054,0.14083581420744554,0.1606807837003051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336163117420138,0.1230282350454486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149813345986946,0.0,0.0,0.2596143900884522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879217411585484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002266883210568,0.0,0.0,0.1532493934974861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035296210492168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482881643677745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657066629779287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292143952687055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292343047343297,0.0,0.1441123672492116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958609995341376,0.15954573304536304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188294652709695,0.1359738408314934,0.13235589639204526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gaia1392,2019/01/26,THOUGHTS how do you cope up with anxiety?,-0.0012499999999988633,1.0567613750000011,0.7199999999999989,97.025,122.75,6.6000000000000005,29.0,7.1686216300943375,2.5938,33,2,7,1,2,10,8,8,0.195,0.805,0.0,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6938827198173847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7200880301316144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,In-it-to-Lose-It,2019/01/26,"How do I get over it My (ex)girlfriend ended things about a month ago, and it sucks. Unfortunately because we’re in the same small school, I see her everyday. It’s like there’s a hole in my life right now and I don’t know what to do. Every time I see her I remember all the fun we had together and how it’s not happening anymore, I can’t even imagine saying a word to her at this point.

I went to a party last night (about 40-60 people were there)and I had some fun with friends, but she was there. Having to see her all night while we were avoiding each other was terrible. All I have been able to think about today was our relationship and how terrible not having is.

We didn’t end because of anything terrible, she said we should have talked more before we actually went out, it was too fast for her- I’m not mad at her or her reasoning, it just really sucks right now and I feel terrible. I could really use some advice or anything. I’m not suicidal, just a bit depressed, having a bad day(some days are better than others)",2.0665384615384603,4.195224884615389,3.6131153846153863,87.68188461538462,79.0,7.236923076923077,22.419230769230765,8.238735603445708,1.2543607692307694,808,25,169,16,20,267,121,208,0.161,0.738,0.1,-0.9475,0,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,6,0,0,1,14,15,3,1,8,0,23,1,0,5,3,42,39,12,1,2,9,0,1,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,11,13,0,1,6,0,0,2,7,10,0,0,13,6,28,5,18,24,9,27,0,1,3,0,20,10,2,4,16,120,39,1,0.13712247107312656,0.0,0.13381175161311867,0.0,0.0,0.13399449173681754,0.1215507971098534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598864539742395,0.0,0.0,0.2256802202029105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449153573661758,0.16717717128283155,0.0,0.11668112333601915,0.0,0.0,0.12127368252476425,0.14970222400321329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948113539487027,0.0,0.0,0.17686529996633518,0.0,0.11810338340775878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24289961853019765,0.0,0.0,0.09056809891097536,0.0,0.11553159592279233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933324144383432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059404810041012,0.0,0.07164083161442612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212569483160508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535892403936904,0.1117731154170166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968536565121902,0.06699111304277948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944984818588673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25736030034238505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506345611284824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962505706363192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568833238197495,0.14098473797848168,0.0,0.14721821728028944,0.15533302929764048,0.2342036821439941,0.13043487072046198,0.1090452926903416,0.0,0.13877526134534934,0.3278065684173133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998972747636174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021384814169116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091098076809336,0.08786254270094898,0.0,0.0,0.0799572155924421,0.0,0.1299760692676208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842978868679152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542278089120801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadsadpotatogirl,2019/01/26,"I am the toxic person...maybe? I feed off of others misery. I gossip. I always need to find blame and be the victim. I can't say sorry, rather die. I also get easily hurt and act out because of those strong emotions. Any one else feel toxic? How do you take responsibility and say sorry to those who you have hurt? Especially if you've never been the one to say sorry. ",0.4098648648648648,2.8462870135135176,3.082486486486488,86.14291891891894,91.02702702702706,4.581621621621622,12.805405405405404,6.2581,-0.6267740540540538,285,4,56,3,10,99,52,74,0.253,0.635,0.112,-0.9297,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,1,3,5,1,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,1,11,10,6,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,2,1,4,8,1,7,8,0,4,0,2,0,0,7,2,0,1,1,38,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382864810239237,0.14388580979797433,0.0,0.0,0.11759358712911573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541227133659697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794667994531755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444549988145141,0.19451512889434072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743507745275289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15804851255018754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034514369361013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702353505722488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737244215578321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822023231498664,0.13336889763866885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23435423473551506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098971592215313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4125459915195989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5807195089210503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001659464647392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,babybluekangaroo,2019/01/26,"I don’t know where to go (bpd, depression) Just a warning this is a bit of a vent, so proceed with caution if you’re in a dark place. I feel like I need to tell someone the truth and I don’t know where to go so I thought I’d come here, I’m sorry if anyone gets upset by this and I hope they know that’s not my intention.

I’m 20 years old, living in London, and suffer from a depressive strand of bpd. Or at least, I think. I’ve had doctors tell me that there’s a very high chance I have bpd but it can’t be diagnosed whilst the waiting list for psychiatric assessment is closed, at least that’s what it was when I last checked. 
I don’t get too angry but when it’s bad I am very self destructive and have depressive mood swings where I don’t leave the house for the space of a week or two at a time. My job as a temp in hospitality has shifts but they’re hard to come by now that Christmas is over.
I’m chronically depressed all the time and unbearably bored and lonely. I try my hardest to make music and art but I’m so lonely and it doesn’t feel like it’s filling the void, it just feels like a distraction. As much as I love my music and the people who support me I’m still so sad and I feel so ungrateful because even though I’ve been given this gift I still feel sorry for myself.
I got addicted to Xanax after getting out of an abusive relationship and had to get myself out of it late last year and lost my best friend in the process. She won’t talk to me over a small bit of drama that happened before I went off the grid for a month. She says unless I can promise her I “won’t fuck her over again” she has no interest in speaking to me but it was so much more than me going out of my way to fuck her over or anything. I was really really sick. I was so depressed and beyond dissociative. I could barely give anyone around me compassion, even myself. 
She refuses to even have a conversation with me until I say “I’ll never fuck her over again” and maybe I’m too proud to say it but if that counts as fucking her over then I can’t make any promises. I could get addicted again, I’m very likely going to go off the grid again, and tbh it feels like if that’s how she reacts when something goes wrong with our friendship how is she going to react when things get worse. I don’t trust her to cope well, fuck knows I’m not coping well. 
I don’t think I can deal with another kind of drama right now. I’ve been through so much stuff that feels fucking impossible this year. I’m so, so tired.
So now I have no best friend, only friends who I don’t feel comfortable talking from the heart to, all I can think about is xanax, I still haven’t got any mental help after the abuse because they also have a closed waiting list for that. I’m so tired of sitting in my house with my family who all have their own mental issues and all seem to be beyond depressed too. All the people I’ve told I love you to won’t talk to me, after my recent breakup I feel lonelier than ever. 
I guess the worst part is that I feel so lonely, but the only reason I have in my mind not to kill myself is not to upset other people. I wanna be alive for myself. I wanna happy to be alive, and I don’t think I ever will be.
I’m sorry for ranting but I’m so unhappy. I don’t really expect anyone to respond or anything but I really don’t know where to go or what to do. 
Thank you to anyone that read this",2.0753968634597832,3.418255947148822,3.703347801064698,90.59102573018082,76.4547983310153,6.6832382139945326,21.29780346266366,7.30559327001526,0.4804294566207861,2642,64,595,31,58,881,273,719,0.188,0.665,0.14800000000000002,-0.9872,1,6,1,0,1,1,51.0,1,2,3,4,54,54,8,3,30,0,54,19,1,8,9,105,127,64,1,11,25,0,11,5,3,4,10,4,0,1,34,30,0,3,22,4,1,11,24,27,2,1,15,15,85,26,90,101,18,84,0,12,0,8,44,35,6,12,41,403,119,3,0.0,0.12761849930519473,0.0,0.11741957977420235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04306774378321937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324635703399347,0.056471557965579636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062639206253106,0.0,0.08863598733437174,0.04794227857953436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044966591677017206,0.06565889391236092,0.0,0.04582655299109941,0.0,0.11303478917349545,0.0,0.11759120421582228,0.0,0.203485082441538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927824547987542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599751029565161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552203676600611,0.27831087686278905,0.05466158949577514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05512277180692126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671195987960767,0.0974296799474128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05076960641532165,0.0,0.2723065541561973,0.1538958042482415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482448560224772,0.2987279214538917,0.168821773690867,0.05166252704433701,0.21424886385622385,0.0,0.08614536595833701,0.0,0.0593272436062599,0.0,0.04762370989129085,0.057329542092374175,0.04824341189526415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381831537218798,0.03609780401474666,0.05690065830664923,0.0,0.0534900669656643,0.0,0.12428264696988907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056210523279814184,0.0534426779433156,0.0,0.059582467182167025,0.05608159055767417,0.14798622206854914,0.08779786224524594,0.06075067254590862,0.057024562682937624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155391823520315,0.0,0.04755486304779906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05878898475324652,0.0,0.09721229911780692,0.0,0.07189712739694515,0.0,0.054104485276809715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108546144054926,0.0,0.05437809632817115,0.0,0.042986467085288915,0.0,0.1187686435741694,0.039932725688575234,0.041536218650027684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056511657800787575,0.0,0.0,0.08191815593874542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058319608186228576,0.0,0.11200861933408404,0.0,0.05626690769055776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053869473538622765,0.0,0.1380033109663263,0.05537180634866848,0.05317521628896083,0.05782000757759025,0.0,0.04599179003262637,0.0,0.12848273330844606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04902747798180362,0.05618240563955222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563108169746957,0.04146013285362563,0.0,0.1808584529372901,0.0,0.0,0.12902577725420053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165097541358789,0.0,0.061113901899696996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298595850248996,0.09414311206869176,0.04958235595265486,0.0,0.0,0.03577880230264768,0.13803218048980925,0.05291216545801313,0.04275477466185747,0.06280645013702382,0.12379656951606025,0.0,0.05146066450507093,0.0,0.03656394172570287,0.0,0.05260841152328565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330779702797466,0.0,0.04274751259335495,0.04319915201208455,0.0,0.0968440449758864,0.049924031513519415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054882743683852264,0.0,0.05888187847030429,0.0,0.10404236899376744
mentalhealth,fukkd_up_again,2019/01/26,"Smart or 'sick'...who's correct? I was diagnosed with Conduct Disorder w/sociopathic tendencies at a young age; as an adult it's now sociopath (Antisocial Disorder) and borderline personality disorder. I mimic emotions that I think are appropriate for a particular situation, without actually feeling them. I know that this is bc I have a deeper understanding of The Bible and being born in original sin, and the importance of not holding in strict  importance the man-made laws obeyed by society. One sin is not worse than another and I do not believe that man can impose punishment according to the degree of broken laws. I just understand that nobody is better or worse than another and we're all guilty and not protected from pain or bad things happening to them. This isn't an illness. Would anyone be kind enough to weigh in on this? I'd appreciate any feedback. Thank you! ",5.4471428571428575,8.113797522292991,6.671469517743407,67.20536624203822,70.59235668789809,11.109918107370335,34.1442220200182,10.914260884657429,4.8457610555050055,709,36,112,26,14,238,109,157,0.174,0.647,0.18,-0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,2,1,2,9,1,0,9,0,12,4,0,2,2,29,19,10,0,1,9,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,9,7,1,2,5,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,1,1,10,4,19,15,2,10,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,5,77,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.1507587595729584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505766495709347,0.3239899023837903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802214384298386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899167450673524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17405594664622112,0.0,0.1366327674951815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680285512641093,0.0,0.0,0.5311725628631128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377907876923496,0.0,0.1596282025006109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078114166739748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661391393024672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087628626594108,0.08490299076104657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468559245108604,0.0,0.16438694935556233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489363981982616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365185644043146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223250821989344,0.0,0.0,0.10263547777900206,0.09899016932995994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32165652718155985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892166659643472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148745210734928,0.10974439358565707,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,raging-duck,2019/01/26,"I think I have multiple personality disorder okay idk if I have it or not.. I almost always feel like I’m having more than one line of thoughts. at least two, with the second judging the first. and I find myself lots of times having contradicting thoughts of things. idk how to explain it (I want someone to tell me what to say to my therapist)

about symptoms:
I don’t think I have any sort of memory loss. I have anxiety and depression. and I’m starting to have trouble sleeping (idk if it’s related or not) 

is this DID? if not, does anyone know what that is called?",2.3326948051948007,4.6027117500000045,3.868409090909093,85.46295454545455,78.82142857142857,7.287012987012987,25.36038961038961,8.296473431620573,1.7524892857142855,444,17,89,9,11,147,73,112,0.166,0.7859999999999999,0.048,-0.9084,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,2,1,11,2,1,1,0,25,22,9,0,4,8,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,4,0,0,8,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,3,2,12,2,13,19,3,4,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,8,4,65,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20356521634418773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915327150003848,0.0,0.0,0.1382439310606346,0.0,0.1555160235285676,0.0,0.0,0.14214484790377127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075814587345244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17509307507988922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23298754765375385,0.0,0.17790014003651566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278935369483963,0.1452301644376734,0.0,0.0,0.18580305445767095,0.1729180698896375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172267350892913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931705296864636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728295881748291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775432598621135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17750467851523474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166408674524188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20343646035419194,0.0,0.1722466582052548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388945847433662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129578145107206,0.0,0.0,0.17768411183395397,0.0,0.0,0.23603494871790615,0.1350566083897873,0.26051959464586466,0.0,0.3227785440918898,0.11853982797910788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19858444598027744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990550085512384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Heidi-Eriksen,2019/01/26,Is it okay for a 38 year old woman to have a intimate encounter with a 14 year old boy? Honest opinions needed,2.1360869565217366,3.8675645652173967,4.286304347826088,84.81467391304348,77.26086956521739,6.339130434782609,24.54347826086957,7.1686216300943375,1.1638869565217385,87,3,17,1,2,30,19,23,0.0,0.7759999999999999,0.224,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883404329870293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8161023620661993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5008360303880129
mentalhealth,ThrowawayAccount5824,2019/01/26,"I need medication but won't take any, so there's no reason not to end it I don’t want side effects or long term effects. Sure as hell not weight gain. My self confidence is already non existent. Enough isn’t known about these pills. I don’t have any hope left. I don’t see myself getting better. I need the meds but won’t take them. I'm pretty sure even my therapist is losing hope for me. I just want it to be over. I want to hang myself or blow my brains out.",0.1972727272727255,2.292996808080808,1.9846464646464632,96.8636363636364,85.96969696969695,5.216161616161617,17.08080808080809,6.574015621080383,-0.3478767676767678,360,8,85,4,11,118,66,99,0.142,0.597,0.261,0.8972,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,1,5,5,7,1,0,1,0,10,4,1,3,2,21,22,6,0,7,7,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,0,2,14,5,8,19,2,8,1,1,1,0,2,4,1,4,3,48,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186908604945233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23036048317857666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979768658988726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890775856763203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500152389697562,0.1750087909910545,0.0,0.11187003984098376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849101155170476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33645352944300666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840255279343482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989080782481948,0.0,0.18948636854291914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18813651676891874,0.17062665409990532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511775972691324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17231441886384308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414485281541114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496928208326342,0.0,0.17669419522469346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31926629571131304,0.0,0.2546965892885769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19665646230010286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29970381593793743,0.0,0.0,0.20625210563520235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,prettiandpink,2019/01/26,"scary moment at work This happened not even two hours ago. Idk what triggered it I just know it scared the hell out of me. 
Sorry for this overall bad post I'm still shooken up.
Today started off normal. Woke up early for work,everything as per usual but then I started to get a bit anxious and ""zone out"". I thought I had it under control because it would stop after a few secs.but after my lunch break I was really anxious and zoned out. I swore my coworker turned to me and said something but when I asked if he did he looked confusd and said he didnt say anything. Then as I was checking people out at my register the self check out behind me was saying its normal bullshit but then it started saying extra stuff quieter though. I couldn't understand most of it but it was say ""hes lying"" a lot. I tried to ignore it and continue to help other customers but eventually I left for the restroom and locked myself in a stall to cry. I also left work three hours early
Can someone please tell me wtf just happened? Im confused,scared, and embarrassed. Was it depersonalization? Stuff like this has happened before but its been so long I thought I was ""over"" it.",2.1574889867841383,4.719113259911897,3.2340193832599127,88.0487559471366,81.59911894273128,5.217903083700441,24.05797356828193,6.55674776486733,0.8608852511013212,918,34,173,9,25,294,135,227,0.198,0.762,0.041,-0.9879,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,8,6,1,2,7,0,15,1,0,2,0,36,33,23,0,5,10,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,0,1,19,12,1,3,4,0,2,0,3,5,0,2,15,7,23,1,28,16,5,38,1,0,1,0,14,15,1,3,22,123,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095197287218904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588202822356494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426467184646972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837517010631098,0.0,0.10039782348398707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896685490412852,0.06546568829438598,0.0,0.09138341068388553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724518435582795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045021991656756,0.0,0.0,0.1179660096463237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093196860820344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965177743317543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561083348358133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28490144393784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198316769988566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115206612309196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600271329512485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902030514698973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23336530476080444,0.0,0.0,0.05246672486798993,0.0,0.0,0.09503929819280607,0.09018295154242673,0.0,0.0,0.0913015658517314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104443946321861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445268439842158,0.0,0.0,0.11788510652887757,0.0,0.0,0.10285267001690428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879861356919617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204310397736254,0.3416124384188145,0.10751898379177943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203417042440476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099361847092648,0.0826762673663715,0.0,0.1202175100218323,0.22803964888770026,0.0,0.08576407360683222,0.08978523643375587,0.0,0.0,0.24587825343862374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386608976354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551293585538593,0.1705158636906577,0.0,0.0,0.101795870466166,0.0,0.0,0.07291269983999298,0.11681258880235355,0.10490721561783198,0.11179975061306452,0.0,0.0,0.1182780586462251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345498348516264,0.0,0.0,0.07628880372219507,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imsatanshelper,2019/01/26,"I don't know how to cope and i feel like only a professional would be able to help me. Clearly, i'm not looking for medical advice, but i just recently started a new drug called effexor, i haven't had any medication for my PTSD in about 5 years, i only recently started medicating myself with marijuana for sleep in the recent 2 years, which has helped, but i needed something else, to combat my crippling depression. So, i finally ended up with a doctor who cared, and prescribed me effexor XR, 75mg.   


I don't really know how to cope with the fact my brain is quiet, i'm not quite sure how to handle it, like yes, i should do things maybe to distract my mind and now fill it with things, but i can't seem to still get out of my depressive slump thats like ""yeah but you should definitely just lay in bed and watch doccumentaries all day"" so its hard to combat.   


If anyone has experienced this, how did you cope? I really don't know what to do, or if i should at this point let my depression consume me (because i'm only 2 weeks into medication) and allow my body to do its thing and once all of the side effects are gone, and its been established in my system then learn how to cope.  
I feel like i'm at a loss until my insurance kicks in in march and i'll be able to get into therapy.  


Thanks to anyone who responds.",7.0265341400172865,5.4632100112359545,7.976554307116108,74.45587726879863,64.99250936329588,11.511264765197351,32.5234802650533,10.560738912317856,3.099218035148373,1031,32,213,22,13,352,145,267,0.108,0.7659999999999999,0.125,0.4145,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,3,12,12,0,1,7,2,22,9,3,7,5,51,41,24,0,7,11,0,3,4,0,4,6,1,1,0,15,15,0,0,8,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,4,7,28,7,36,30,2,34,0,4,2,0,8,14,0,4,21,139,43,3,0.2059545726935324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062821240373547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002808595741605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400822590965226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277399795637298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143845505638177,0.0,0.1149567081963252,0.10515132291088627,0.0,0.10499220650689517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641183059531887,0.0,0.26608255750912163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054016160971563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942095903759492,0.0,0.0860243089859495,0.0,0.0912073104253098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413682019635744,0.14713398788392898,0.0,0.11280658370289155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760276377086156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224742176631884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804700874040535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978087046246002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530125221417673,0.0,0.20123800210152054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647498503898647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103454525223358,0.0,0.0,0.4149551289375201,0.0,0.0,0.10397770368572837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763563530056697,0.0,0.09945610484579398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096674491442511,0.0,0.23495659980287406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734682079816732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037493705791122,0.0,0.0,0.109529019754512,0.0,0.0,0.1319397730357132,0.0,0.305032940985121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374665393370156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305165531141704,0.0,0.0,0.07927694604476057,0.0,0.0,0.14577570659485034,0.0,0.08223779389771106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097054873695702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480764983335056,0.11776350149702206,0.0,0.20524059990645546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826021676132172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315210965805871,0.0,0.0,0.13262799232872668
mentalhealth,zallalily,2019/01/26,"CT FRIENDS AND THERAPIST ADVICE! Hello CT friends! I am a female in my late 20s living in southwestern CT and in need of a new therapist. I have been living with depression since my late teens to various degrees. I have not had any traumatic experiences, I had wonderful childhood, I am you average 20 something in all aspects you can think of. And yet, without medication, getting out of bed every morning takes every ounce of energy I have for that day. While the medication has been an incredible help I still find myself feeling that having someone to talk to about the day to day struggles might be helpful, mostly for anxiety purposes. I’ve tried a couple different therapists in the area that I have found online through various forums but none have “clicked”. Not sure if this is me or the norm as I don’t have much experience in therapy but I’m looking for any suggestions you may have on how to find the best fit in general or recommendations for therapists in the area.",7.183716283716282,7.8041564725274775,7.849540459540464,68.25455044955048,63.94505494505494,11.892907092907095,37.97402597402598,11.567385478589935,4.83271868131868,786,39,133,24,11,262,114,182,0.042,0.823,0.134,0.9442,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,1,4,6,0,1,10,0,21,2,0,1,2,27,30,11,0,2,8,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,3,16,4,28,22,7,23,0,1,2,0,10,13,0,7,10,100,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282303927643432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702915323046682,0.0,0.08832412859320868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116477834700165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775074249120175,0.0,0.2233802348077115,0.0,0.09944276434187267,0.0,0.0,0.12062777218318953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19455465094890656,0.0,0.0,0.22587779075296144,0.0,0.0,0.05837842228577875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110508293946402,0.0,0.0,0.12659241127493134,0.17840325963199086,0.0,0.060321407650893236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477650568435286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604805769012671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039009222785252,0.0,0.0969546253523676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326211392002121,0.0,0.1224814090685628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487402553061424,0.08560974709160356,0.0,0.11150888756999966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550705006922176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782616378611768,0.08888427791440885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220394190947928,0.0,0.0,0.120700505623202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881665852322224,0.0,0.08680913756303647,0.0927997946521583,0.0,0.0,0.13203490191619202,0.5362169296779158,0.0,0.07398004931088366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838758186008607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129622580541224,0.12520796406996942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kerfufflewhoople,2019/01/26,"What does 'self-care' mean to you? As a long-time sufferer of anxiety, I'm in therapy to help me solve the big puzzle that is my brain, probably like many of you out there. One of the things my therapist keeps stressing is the importance of self-care. Except self-care is a very vague concept and I'm not entirely sure I understand it or its benefits. So for those of you out there who actually figure out the whole self-care thing, can you share some insight and examples?",6.760645161290324,6.191110225806455,7.143569892473121,76.9753548387097,65.02150537634408,12.171182795698929,33.65376344086022,11.602472056035307,3.803844731182796,373,14,76,11,5,122,65,93,0.113,0.737,0.15,0.5556,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,0,0,3,6,0,1,6,0,4,1,1,0,1,16,9,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,8,4,14,9,2,5,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,3,1,50,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.1611005867719739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629070244027266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18429110482775532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446828783085058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065398513102766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673644532221186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806529134369492,0.0,0.0,0.1460963364787678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737177553147572,0.0,0.17982756935324776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118668687525255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177991143154238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6888847948451033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910600073133926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559205011118213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18879077297696129,0.19167812292064115,0.21935223851211544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186084382349695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136213632128956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843131551122373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,misleadinganeurysm,2019/01/26,"Seeking help. Need someone to talk to I am finally biting the bullet. I have a lot of baggage, many many years worth. I will pay for a service online. I need proper therapy I think. Has anyone got experience with using an online site? How bad do you have to be to qualify? Will appreciate any advice given. I am in a country away from home for a while and can not access local services like I usually would. Thank you, anything helps. ",1.3963961038961017,4.054069916666666,3.6834199134199146,82.25551948051951,87.92857142857143,5.911688311688312,23.11255411255411,7.348242739294969,1.455490476190476,339,13,60,6,11,116,64,84,0.058,0.763,0.179,0.8541,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,2,0,10,18,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,9,2,11,12,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,5,42,9,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001212864651393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926621884390375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319598223098415,0.0,0.16852713649397302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240970434931084,0.0,0.1709935470032894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032678768133425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243406507290997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16379161877462511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27453677573992885,0.0,0.2054240121828153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005148383401012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17410763036607058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152557863132401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037027336225181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352038973937142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646048042012789,0.0,0.18854582028411604,0.2341985697178952,0.0,0.0,0.13122304394383424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768753428636888,0.2255504856141836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454790256401913,0.0,0.0,0.13187993611386134
mentalhealth,Dragonoidicon,2019/01/26,"Personal techniques for dealing with mental illness? I have ADD/ADHD and anxiety disorder, and have known about it since I was very young. I was given a few different medications to try at age 5/6, and with each one came an adverse reaction. I was also misdiagnosed by having depression at that age- but I may have that too now that I am older. So I have gone unmedicated. I am 20, struggling with romantic relationships and stress.  I have recently gone through an extremely rough patch with my SO- they went off of their depression medication and does not want to be with me right now. I'm pretty sure I'm getting dumped, but I don't know. I hate uncertainty. This is the second time I have gone through a 'breakup'. With each time, it makes my own mental illness worse.  My anxiety is connected to my stomach, and it makes me nauseous and prevents me from eating. I can't stop thinking about my situation and about all of the negative possible outcomes. I get too wrapped up in my head. 

​

I have a song I keep listening to on replay to get me to sleep, but I can't stay asleep. I wake up dreaming about the same things I am worried about. I keep reaching out to my family and friends for help. I have tried to throw myself into work and hobbies without avail. I'm not sitting at home sleeping, though I wish I could sleep this away. I have lost a dangerous amount of weight over the past 8 days. I am naturally small, and the weight loss is beginning to affect my health. I was at 95 lbs, and now I am dropping to below 85 lbs. I am going to therapy, but I have not got a call back from my therapist to schedule another appointment (next one is 2 weeks out). 

​

I want to see if there is any other advice out there to help me. I feel trapped. I keep flip-flopping on what I want to do in regard to my situation, and I feel very overly emotional. I don't feel like myself. What are some other things for me to try to better myself and be ok?

​",3.2492952783650466,5.165266816537468,4.534023960535587,83.44344608879494,74.63307493540051,7.9984026309607685,27.747944561898052,8.754623652393294,2.178099741602067,1546,62,306,32,33,510,199,387,0.157,0.728,0.115,-0.9363,1,1,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,2,4,17,15,3,2,12,1,36,15,7,3,2,60,69,23,0,6,9,0,6,1,1,1,5,2,1,1,14,27,3,5,6,2,0,7,9,10,0,3,12,9,56,5,60,53,8,49,0,4,1,0,10,21,0,3,19,223,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765714646073602,0.07940504494085783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498253973659802,0.0,0.2641312484601083,0.2962145835182341,0.05525869117361423,0.08520681459323863,0.12432534073332213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634520790258682,0.062482911715770875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186670202784369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297420099077134,0.092938286220124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648784465952577,0.0,0.0,0.05240512841337301,0.08377413450224971,0.13997596984180602,0.0,0.0,0.08489802909716865,0.0931294910693016,0.0,0.0711100214135897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314791934461119,0.0,0.09140508167648892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660345484781432,0.0,0.12326049559312507,0.05805121963896336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278025720422459,0.0,0.12736292470403554,0.0,0.04618118236879603,0.0,0.06498999221654791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022612679509382,0.08339485227291199,0.08637418059970421,0.0,0.0,0.10893196521272963,0.0,0.08150908485264627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166793541825646,0.0,0.0,0.04465764728444136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039698888162119694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870345186948468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848160427293216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371914930538956,0.163779281190301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641953162839677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012597369157154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757060789259386,0.0,0.07095194802904507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160695616316697,0.0,0.08266929401581875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023314671166858,0.08724141573084038,0.0,0.06939447161188181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475265005223854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721802259141366,0.1826763294365166,0.24395210227134376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661094466531652,0.0,0.06793589782402791,0.0930815472610054,0.08494921901467073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658534742340721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292638620316668,0.09434759441021627,0.1079693170862405,0.05206728322452305,0.07983624384253188,0.0,0.0947651834813328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16550793615357096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409384776337682,0.14378543038243108,0.0,0.06518081435476539,0.19790237026665936,0.0,0.07532761358403205,0.0,0.0,0.0934434756423145,0.07833047105009633,0.0,0.05915728928285139,0.08252213735711524,0.08280954048210555,0.0,0.0,0.2962145835182341,0.0
mentalhealth,lillyh327,2019/01/26,"What is this? What's wrong with me? I can't do anything.  I'm trying to tie up loose ends on my college applications and online classes but I just... can't. I've just been mindlessly scrolling through YouTube.  The only thing I'm really motivated to do is eat.  I'm not even hungry but it's the only thing I can think to do.  I've been a great student for all of school and ever since junior year I've had to really force myself to do anything. I got through that one with 3 high Bs and an A and senior year with all As but it was a wringer. All the things I've been excited about for so many years, they're finally here and I can barely bring myself to care. I feel like this in spurts and I don't know what to do.",0.3874350649350653,2.3537458441558456,2.4156980519480515,94.88640422077923,84.06493506493507,5.668181818181819,19.365259740259734,6.9077264865688965,0.0955337662337663,556,15,131,7,16,186,89,154,0.025,0.8320000000000001,0.14300000000000002,0.9657,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,7,0,17,1,0,1,4,23,26,11,0,0,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,9,1,0,4,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,6,1,11,4,20,20,3,12,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,8,86,22,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043926735731032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856667755797027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924784125258695,0.0,0.0,0.16380891561479474,0.0,0.0,0.1221563225308724,0.16729593507367765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935151991238,0.13212679385543286,0.0,0.20260134921654754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791970535100632,0.2039056773962653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19540757688738533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016425114496592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035618622844042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18750810943896387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532546184704868,0.28132237537228355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23696468020665135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871771163141228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299078761033474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686134362918005,0.1185071259485056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556746207690594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20221146005818907,0.0,0.3573010897190192
mentalhealth,honestlynott,2019/01/26,"Think I might be schizophrenic? Too worried about future to get help. For the past year, I have been experiencing some weird feelings that have led me to believe I could be showing signs of schizophrenia. I'm worried to go to a therapist and discuss it since I don't know if it will affect me in the future when I'm looking for work.

The symptoms are not life-threatening and I'm passing by. It's mostly delusions and occasional hallucinations but I might be imagining those myself. It only became a concern when I started discussing my ideas to my friends and they would mention at how strange it was, or that they were worried about me, or straight out saying ""It almost sounds schizophrenic."" 

My delusions themselves vary time to time. The amount I believe in them also vary time to time and I honestly wouldn't call them delusions myself but rather hypothesis that I follow by deep down...

This includes ""one in all and all in one"" or the diagram I have been drawing up for something called MDS (Mind Body Soul) where I express my ideas to my feelings of detachment though that might just be my depersonalization (not diagnosed). It often comes to the fact that nothing is real other than myself and some higher being since our senses cannot be trusted but I'm not here to ramble about that. Another thing is that I have huge memory gaps and often find myself unable to understand the timeline of the past year or unsure if things really happened at all.

I'm worried that I have some starting symptoms of the illness but also too afraid to reach out. I think I might be just scared to hear that I do have issues but I feel and think I'm completely normal when I don't address these thoughts. I might just be thinking too hard. 

What should I do? Will I be in trouble if I discuss this with a psychiatrist? ",6.235337927378744,7.106555291545192,6.212320434667376,78.29244301616754,66.05539358600583,8.568725152398622,32.79207527166711,8.575989854853784,2.621887463556851,1447,59,259,20,22,457,169,343,0.093,0.858,0.049,-0.9156,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,4,1,21,7,0,2,12,0,38,7,1,3,4,73,63,28,0,9,19,0,4,0,1,10,6,3,1,0,24,13,0,0,14,1,0,5,7,4,0,2,5,9,40,3,38,38,8,35,1,0,1,0,16,15,0,19,15,203,64,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100775354054336,0.0,0.0,0.1453606915234556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530038024051267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20479154166796235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009522520985752,0.0,0.0,0.18560658422268286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828899662515885,0.09529072671916763,0.0,0.0,0.07256392178792334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224591017434514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786188528154406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306683671621624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021718170924975,0.0,0.04748342884224948,0.0,0.05165178701624599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036891179574343,0.0,0.08141470969369516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243349872240236,0.0,0.06091800142205535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20519520007600606,0.0,0.09485986282421308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04994777456675016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419444894023507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632013630202364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4820707521999804,0.0917674922301348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904756723763528,0.087206181649204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317145309638497,0.06912179945807803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351918301235314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344652069990268,0.05822297313612646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227504593904592,0.09099129444863216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036128606749766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996737062188006,0.0,0.0,0.1286571115545946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892770334537287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055239732290704,0.12075931980026985,0.23294061223038676,0.08929361379707444,0.07215218473086854,0.21198205947367055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461402692400428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616503843697391,0.36919070879182747,0.0,0.0645617802346723,0.0,0.0,0.1170533472475152
mentalhealth,oeimili,2019/01/26,"Please don’t die. The world needs your truth. I’ve been manic for the last week. It was hard. I loved it. But I talked way to fast/posted things on facebook that didn’t make sense to others. Going back and rereading some of my messages, they actually make a lot of sense. People just stop listening to you when you run your mouth and offend someone on social media.

Please slow down. Especially when you are manic. Call/talk to someone close or a counselor. You will begin to feel again. Trust me. Have patient with yourself.

We feel too much. We have a “super power”. We can tell what other people are feeling and we feel it too much.

We are too depressed. We are too happy. We are too tired. We are never tired. We try too hard.

We live our life too much. Normal people live their life at 5. We live our life at 10 or 1. 0 means you are dead. Don’t be a 0. Never be a 0.

If you die, you will miss all of the 1s, 2s, 3s, 4s, 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, 9s, and 10s. It’s hard. But don’t do it.

Message me if you are manic or depressed. Never message me when you are between a 3 and 7. I’m not interested to hear how your life is going. I’m only interest in how the peaks and troughs are doing.",-0.9877732974910388,1.1238918266129048,1.3232795698924742,97.84519713261652,96.45967741935483,3.562007168458781,14.953405017921147,5.258114834769046,-0.9901132616487448,895,20,205,5,36,299,135,248,0.138,0.764,0.098,-0.8298,1,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,13,12,2,2,15,11,1,0,10,0,26,8,1,4,5,47,43,18,3,4,9,0,7,0,0,2,6,2,0,0,10,19,0,1,5,0,0,3,8,4,0,0,3,9,33,7,18,36,6,25,0,3,0,1,36,8,0,7,13,135,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.10722621022323757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449029185843898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219890792415764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18927751957047756,0.0,0.2280744414820104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222328198500682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124893717964252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696840936661253,0.2952904355688883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384179946671957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956618104561326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31044360181732206,0.0,0.0,0.29107593495438305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341533279712244,0.09917023216721048,0.0,0.14669038549268318,0.0,0.0,0.1196906177796718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24232147710366314,0.08147400511135808,0.2542367468469884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076582475692657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356805277602007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22852912409012485,0.0,0.0,0.24122864390086465,0.0,0.0,0.10523386219141743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200796654810476,0.18620051195353707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186389809949323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17663341385024306,0.09603922924898416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299883169553292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525798618451371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460073720696735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721696301650851,0.08813843460843128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,5i23iii,2019/01/26,"just a rant i'm never gonna be able to be happy. i've been diagnosed with DID anxiety and depression. i just ruined my relationship with  girlfriend of 4 months, i ruin all my friendships, everything. i have just too many personalities and they just flip around randomly and when i'm stressed i just become a total asshole to everyone and it's almost like a good feeling i get from hurting people then i calm down and i feel really bad. i have no control it doesn't even feel like i'm the one messing up my life when i think back on stuff i did it doesn't even feel like i was the one who did it, even writing this now i'm feeling super depressed but if i read this back tomorrow it won't even seem like i was the one who wrote this. i'm only 16 maybe things will get better but i just can't ever see myself being able to be happy because even if i do make actual friends 3/4 of the time i hang out with them i act like an entirely different person and stuff like inside jokes and my sense of humor never carry on so it makes it so hard to actually connect with people the only person i felt connected to even a little even though i felt like i just hurt her more than anything was my girlfriend but i finally got in a bad mood and just started insulting her and then i broke up with her. i did it before and we got back together but i just can't keep doing that, and it's why i'm never gonna be good for anyone in a relationship, i'm never gonna be a good friend, i'm never gonna find a career i'm interested in or be able to keep a job or anything i just don't see the point. it's so frustrating because i can't control it, my entire world view just flips around all the time and i go from being easy going to really controlling or whatever and i can't take it and neither can the people around me they all end up just pissed off or annoyed by me. i don't see the point, i don't see the point of continuing if this is how i'm always gonna be. it's not like i can just tell people not to listen to me, because what if i actually wanted to break up with my girlfriend one day, well the part of me that's usually me. i don't know what to do please help",2.8466176854754437,3.6248136918103455,4.821653605015676,85.53719174503658,73.71982758620689,7.9518286311389765,24.40543364681296,8.296473431620573,1.2937997126436782,1699,48,376,27,33,587,193,464,0.114,0.723,0.163,0.9583,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,3,5,37,38,4,1,21,0,37,3,1,6,10,86,81,35,0,5,27,0,8,8,5,7,2,1,0,3,26,25,0,5,11,2,0,4,20,15,1,4,13,14,53,22,42,52,7,49,0,7,5,0,25,20,1,11,32,260,79,3,0.19685493574349733,0.0,0.19210202061978254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570726083685298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054599692086232915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019782900937398,0.0,0.0,0.045881849392363394,0.0,0.10799655932622457,0.17524262848171385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136929445673752,0.10957709913977404,0.1200009416877812,0.07247027014062388,0.05583635042219977,0.0,0.0,0.0580340644728178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22078954935127387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0423183827173492,0.0,0.11303391180100747,0.06660120533860192,0.0,0.06855716980488907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05811834780940961,0.0,0.0,0.303381933109416,0.059355519845918914,0.0,0.06270110904528374,0.0589735076555745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589295056820266,0.09375547028575366,0.1260077395267217,0.07188165330458665,0.0599739483139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101393090023763,0.0,0.06856571935875534,0.0,0.07458479767120264,0.16511258038247928,0.1049619167697943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397038264010727,0.05878111872541834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04398257130163718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049152010935734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511604950351181,0.1166491412178393,0.0,0.0,0.03606210816109976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04634815426923989,0.25646234153970554,0.06576678708739886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760146547494142,0.06652666907999663,0.06592241401869006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05237591053494083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25304443694537804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778586654740989,0.09981136617071276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105823734558674,0.0,0.1819659014621035,0.17188613684238513,0.0,0.07202920167287508,0.1860915434159599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656360691616094,0.0,0.08407354173066657,0.0,0.0,0.14089902005693586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20915719585749146,0.05973644671551798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046444978908680386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516555459692498,0.0,0.15023453619704294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0493368042600263,0.0,0.05735329685744477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435938907175771,0.042045564723503404,0.06446965829362844,0.0,0.07652513073166113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226930008854114,0.0,0.038703380479010174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899874285359314,0.0,0.05921032022731367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jordannelliott6,2019/01/26,"Struggling with second semester Hi everyone. I’m [18f] a first year college student who just recently started her second semester after a month long winter break. I had no problems adjusting to college first semester and didn’t experience any significant homesickness, besides the occasional missing my parents and my boyfriend (a year younger than me, still goes to high school in my hometown). My life in college is significantly better than my life was in high school, I have more friends than I’ve ever had before and I’ve been more social and outgoing than ever before, and overall I feel better. I’ve gotten a better hold on my anxiety and depression with the help of medication and an established routine for my day, and I feel that I’ve come a long way. 

Ever since I’ve come back, however, I’ve been extremely homesick for my family, my home, and my boyfriend. I’ve found that I become severely depressed on the weekends, usually starting Friday night, and I isolate myself from my friends and do not leave my room. I’m very focused academically so I spend this time usually working on homework or studying, but I often can’t find the motivation to do that either. I make up excuses to not go out (it’s cold, I don’t drink, I can’t drink with my medication, I’m tired, etc.), and then I spend time alone in my room. My roommate and I live very different lifestyles so we are not close, but we live well together, and my friends all live in other dorms, so they’re not as easily accessible. I really don’t understand why it seems to hit me so hard on the weekends, but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance. 

TL;DR - I recently started my second semester of college and am experiencing symptoms of depression I didn’t experience first semester, particularly severe depressive episodes on the weekends. Any advice? ",6.179595660749509,7.774833147928994,7.148653846153848,68.89426282051286,66.63313609467455,10.485404339250492,36.56854043392504,10.595843684498618,4.411685996055229,1476,76,241,41,24,494,175,338,0.125,0.767,0.108,-0.581,3,1,2,0,1,0,45.0,2,0,0,9,12,18,0,1,12,0,19,8,0,2,4,51,38,25,0,2,10,1,3,0,3,1,6,0,7,0,8,24,2,1,8,5,2,4,11,9,1,6,9,5,39,9,33,26,5,54,0,7,0,0,12,18,0,3,30,159,47,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16460635255707626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723114905923213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182658119407918,0.0,0.06443148821265175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476341775474939,0.0,0.0,0.09301930877252347,0.14333763929884835,0.0,0.0,0.22346909506670296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451038445089744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05431781475494082,0.0,0.2901696467580902,0.0,0.0,0.08799664378616047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501582995750189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393254660982732,0.0,0.22855756231573146,0.0,0.08048008944006269,0.0,0.16477538407911668,0.07939933353832301,0.0,0.0851728443244121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697963876349367,0.2149238707830396,0.0,0.09234778293073434,0.19521484734400954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047866706656753084,0.0,0.0,0.0928577743535803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754485808056763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564538861601834,0.17797555137541313,0.08448400959820923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918155156257353,0.0,0.0,0.11898046646276413,0.0,0.0,0.22311524743445552,0.149072009258879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05622048703645817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696945832029928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722716756592714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903895858562665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352130547276973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059144202017264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05395635149882435,0.0,0.16632300434086075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047931821018542,0.0,0.07667479328035974,0.0,0.190299352738402,0.0,0.06967135106536859,0.0,0.0,0.08585623945492818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17884353786690704,0.0,0.06726176969899295,0.0,0.0,0.08804970203714434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754147221007702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754257509297173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982239303175424,0.09680363713573596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768064251021929,0.0,0.0,0.18552270680558267,0.1389880151639825,0.0,0.06685346312452695,0.0,0.0,0.07572791253627098,0.0,0.07599948294738161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131641650267158,0.0,0.0,0.0598306462225365,0.0,0.0,0.1084755931895555
mentalhealth,acontroversialarthoe,2019/01/26,"I’m getting help but...help? So, I have started to notice that it takes one small thing to make me spiral into being down! I could be having a great day and be in the best mood but something small happens and I just can’t cope with it and just go into a cycle of hating myself! I just think absolutely everyone must hate me or do straight away when they meet me but I know in reality they don’t! It is impossible to hate someone straight away. 
I just feel unworthy of being loved, remotely liked and just plain stupid! Any advice? ",2.398962264150942,4.539055122641512,3.7949433962264174,86.73449056603776,77.9622641509434,6.504150943396226,22.864150943396226,7.554174236665415,0.9919426415094341,417,13,84,6,10,137,71,106,0.199,0.64,0.162,-0.8664,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,7,9,4,0,3,0,12,1,0,1,1,21,26,9,0,2,8,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,0,1,12,4,13,20,1,15,0,0,0,1,5,11,0,1,4,61,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395002983775494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801249464379194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537231993788412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975506486543598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029765672840775,0.0,0.0,0.1214019202743518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987537690820785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518191133850336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834981231138372,0.0,0.10698350313900166,0.0,0.0,0.2075398682694923,0.0,0.0,0.16646370288551096,0.0,0.0,0.5575564535748346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523522059094804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345407595418432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919665956663927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698977181125001,0.0,0.1256544490196835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21431724170836627,0.0,0.0,0.12755912525183158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949867919511138,0.1449195632321344,0.0,0.0,0.1332401964478656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153619284962593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250610657948039,0.1206192668218441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cayennesalt,2019/01/26,"What is it? Lately I've been feeling down alot and very unhappy about myself. I usually try to block all of my unhappy thoughts out of my mind but it still keeps coming back. My relationship with friends aren't that good too. I've noticed that I'm usually alone by myself and when I try starting conversations with people, it just doesn't work out. I have constant fantasies of ending too. Im also sad most of the time. It could be possible that it's mood swings. Can someone help me? (Going to delete after this is answered.)",2.3661871138570163,4.9013089902912625,3.5278375992939104,86.44741394527803,80.45631067961166,6.463901147396292,24.897616946160635,7.686295010490155,1.4806000000000008,418,16,80,7,11,135,74,103,0.14800000000000002,0.77,0.08199999999999999,-0.7361,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,0,1,19,16,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,2,3,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,1,9,2,14,12,3,16,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,11,56,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987823906645325,0.0,0.1534869645201552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475829121562214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533136051276054,0.0,0.2074089737876456,0.0,0.1532410993945929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16999369093060554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704596234888647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828523398946333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907867757200244,0.16098242073420632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286471469681613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20731816316006754,0.0,0.0,0.17059688383205754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21650626437650897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19379536071837586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185144496161612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306062706091612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163731009500171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206061814992838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626223155029709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584958429603566,0.0,0.15327615794690672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237158961990108,0.1119163733343088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606167833921514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227692467552769,0.15836298286781922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972788379878914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,qooqly,2019/01/26,"Best friend is destroying his life. How can I get him help? TL;DR - Best friend had a rough end of high school / start of uni, got behind on studies and had to retake a few years. Halfway through his 6 year degree he is refusing to study or get professional help. High probability of him failing his last chance this year, getting dropped from uni after 5 years with nothing to show for it (gotta finish the whole 6 years to get an academic degree)

Full version (thanks for taking the time <3) - Best friend is quite the introvert, little self esteem and is the beta type (hates confrontations). Suffered through bullying etc. but was still a hard working student during middle school and early high school. This is when he got a PC and started BSing quite a lot with his studies (procrastinating, calling in sick because he didnt prepare etc.). He retook a year during high school to clean up his GPA. Had a mental breakdown during finals during last year in HS, but made it through and luckily made it into his dream field of studies at uni. He chose a 6-year course that is quite challenging (think engineering/medschool level). 


During his first year he got betrayed by some really close friends which he had done a lot for. First year went down the drain, not a lot of studying, Netflix/tv-series, procrastinating, dropping lectures. Failed his one and only final. Failed the resit and had to retake the year. He got these depressing thoughts that he is behind (2 years delay in total) even though it is quite normal in my country to retake subjects even at HS level (half of his class were like 3-4 years delayed at least) but he felt he was something different. Second year almost went to hell, failing the first final, but passing the resit exam. 

Now third year is where the crap hits the fan, for real. He fails the first year (final + resit), tries the third year again and fails (final + resit) and is now at his third, and absolute final) attempt at retaking the exam before he is kicked out for good. If he wants a degree after getting dropped he has to restart by retaking HS subjects (to raise his GPA to recent years standards or study something else - which might get him depressed in the long run because this degree was his dream)

In other words, he has never passed a year without failing an exam first, has spent 5 years to progress 2 years into his degree and has become depressed, lazy, unmotivated and pushes away everyone trying to help him. It's either ""I'm already way behind everyone else (at my age)"" or just plain ""I don't want to"" when I/family try to get him to study. Now I'm no doctor, but it seems like he isn't getting the graveness of the situation, how his regret for having to retake several years might spiral out of control and how life will become dozens of times more difficult. He refuses to get help and is just wallowing and wasting away his precious time on the internet. Taking away any tech leads to him becoming agressive, and him having all his subject material as ebooks and digital notes doesn't help to remove his PC.

This friend is like a sibling to me and I really need to know how to approach him and convince him to get help and to study. A few months ago he said he doesn't want to continue because he is delayed relative to his age, but now he switched to the ""there is no time"" argument. There is no convincing him and it is ruining his family who have to sit and watch their son waste away.",7.082735085315733,7.1298636113671305,6.914595424918009,76.82625607173995,64.19201228878649,9.434151201893137,32.34113837339643,8.994212911058018,2.6773692116079206,2725,96,490,39,37,863,291,651,0.152,0.7290000000000001,0.118,-0.9809,1,0,2,0,0,0,94.0,0,0,1,25,21,37,5,0,35,0,43,5,1,8,3,81,82,40,1,7,15,1,3,3,5,4,4,1,1,1,18,29,0,6,5,3,1,9,11,20,0,12,23,5,36,17,83,54,19,113,1,14,1,0,70,35,2,12,67,302,54,30,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0385828708865734,0.0,0.04358466063924716,0.0,0.0480316475025062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029598940963104645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16357515920345445,0.0,0.0,0.07959851397303397,0.14421201357135754,0.03703713034892992,0.0,0.13703248272008406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04444456472684832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04881772809989745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124657600353896,0.0,0.0,0.04547505012805893,0.0,0.044550356755040835,0.0,0.04454186137139905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272020670721598,0.0,0.03855081514471136,0.0,0.09708523148038373,0.0574965750914241,0.0,0.0,0.08318126565125003,0.0,0.0,0.0820642360307286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04179145877673337,0.2860813942538846,0.0,0.1851145183318216,0.0,0.0,0.1681390824837039,0.0,0.22740360590873324,0.0,0.0,0.03650725805939432,0.13924578392683748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03899044152827843,0.04297257753076125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504599216056682,0.18394899560109645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02392056412212841,0.0709584434370645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061486920908056075,0.06379331587784076,0.043624145338443665,0.0,0.03851883891283223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101187743614008,0.0,0.08237006269658506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043863627349594064,0.0923476926804156,0.0,0.0,0.034741766088910365,0.0,0.0,0.032273724947260995,0.03356967181541059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04264590485769841,0.041764044105668925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029494113274960182,0.033103225329172786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04692802253850725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851795858839805,0.0,0.04954172939789715,0.05576730392351854,0.0,0.04297633770118601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04140286938279995,0.0,0.0,0.17620116422269191,0.0,0.0396241256252468,0.04540675536719286,0.049171606056622255,0.0,0.0,0.04892466484014319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701635818351544,0.0,0.0,0.06161537152364361,0.0,0.034759647836077094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545175809526864,0.0,0.0,0.04007257933587519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027889485066338163,0.0427637393869271,0.03455451171502899,0.10152064812425736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865319693771577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701768490811345,0.034548642493798604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069744469192047,0.0,0.04859484434995332,0.0,0.04195718246274807,0.0,0.031687198444839616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6166401476570817
mentalhealth,MissCheif_,2019/01/26,"I don't know what's wrong with me I keep having random impulse thoughts about hurting myself. For example, if I'm in the car I'll suddenly think about grabbing the steering wheel and crashing the car, or I've also thought a out throwing myself down stairs. I'm not suicidal or anything, I don't wanna die, just injure myself in some way. I've also began self harming, not anything deep but just to see myself bleed, I feel like my mind is just messed up.",4.8898168498168495,5.6385628351648345,5.496428571428575,82.66940476190476,69.0,7.3853479853479875,30.551282051282055,7.1686216300943375,1.850646886446886,362,14,68,3,6,117,65,91,0.083,0.81,0.107,0.2835,0,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,22,14,7,2,2,9,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,5,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,3,3,10,1,11,11,1,13,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,5,3,43,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37405184296201416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849105096155232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427203533884883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825180458193388,0.16707692389497006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503628955372699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20787458726691493,0.0,0.0,0.1285289505211895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425717077829588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23614224198393674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636427713422424,0.0,0.2439776329739168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558160497544361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985458653279787,0.0,0.3713336444600245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856352859819009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557003597604791,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CosplayGeorge,2019/01/26,"Feeling unable to eat Hi everyone, I'm so glad I found this sub recently. I'm fairly new to Reddit in general, so it's nice to know that there's more to it than just memes. 

I'm having this issue lately where I'm never hungry, and when I force myself to eat I can only eat very little without feeling... Bad? In some way. Not really mentally but physically just bad, nothing specific. 

This kind of came out of nowhere, I'm on a couple medicines that have side effects of decreasing appetite but I've been on them for ~6 months and have never had this before. I have no history of an ED, and I really feel like this isn't that. 

Has anyone every experienced this? How did you fix it? Do you think it will go away in time? I've already dropped from a size 10-12 to a 2-4, so I've been dealing with this for awhile. ",1.817061143984219,3.561661278106513,3.9554792899408286,86.77093096646946,78.23076923076924,7.110216962524655,23.100986193293885,8.021203637495839,1.210384299802762,632,20,134,11,15,217,109,169,0.047,0.877,0.076,0.3804,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,1,1,9,6,0,0,4,0,13,3,0,2,2,24,26,10,0,0,6,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,14,6,3,0,7,0,0,2,6,2,0,0,6,4,9,4,23,19,2,22,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,1,9,83,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998867017468522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770942660174496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472709782210147,0.0,0.25723650361382416,0.0,0.0,0.13107800507514478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618248493554234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704440343930225,0.0,0.0,0.15881006407814324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4728688566299917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978664143553495,0.14719329303419607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23366409357439805,0.11004730714861116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688985980079612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754535722474058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16077934679440234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041055964145404,0.08465720199867653,0.0,0.17376556700299248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525691563770155,0.15439009151627162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523764163630635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295448780235363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376126644335697,0.14877427948739833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780701241341196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715553275380412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973659103134404,0.0,0.15209743730780026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870359908092256,0.0,0.0,0.08982286090131619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710040325880526,0.0,0.12227100462367045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849054783613286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,locallilac,2019/01/26,"Does anyone else feel like their body isn't their own? I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a very long time, and sometimes i get an overwhelming feeling that my body doesn't belong to me. Like when I look in the mirror i feel a weird type of disconnect. I've never really shared that feeling with anyone because I'm worried that people wouldn't really understand. So I was wondering does anyone else get that feeling?",5.679308943089428,7.34631457317073,5.857073170731707,77.41211382113823,67.90243902439025,9.369105691056909,29.52032520325203,9.725611199111238,2.9614081300813013,353,13,60,8,6,112,54,82,0.177,0.7090000000000001,0.114,-0.7362,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,0,2,7,0,2,4,0,5,2,2,0,1,13,16,4,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,6,8,3,6,13,1,5,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,1,6,33,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002251398532705,0.0,0.0,0.3291091478880043,0.32151029853244323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564035594238243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34854492262340697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351314840470412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745957819787241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621274986127733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966484083588774,0.11208420230157197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393995862078922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329973218767548,0.0,0.0,0.13884513467268744,0.13175038421144913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100535051631148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876966884867444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20101900893523816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517092813167555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401835325110367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914854163489283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333087181212794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945293874599909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17014348013412195,0.0,0.1593321896666043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beyond_Andromeda,2019/01/26,"How do I get my mother help For as long as I can remember my mother has had episodes. Something happens that sets her off, and for about a week she will be irrational, angry, depressed, just a completely different person. She will not listen to anything anyone says. She blames everything wrong in her life on my dad. She used to pick on my brother when I was a kid. She has screamed and yelled and swore and thrown things down the stairs. Locked herself in her room for days, not eaten, missed holidays and parties and ruined trips. Ruined fun days we had some event planned. She has abandoned our family multiple times to “move away” or “never come back” all the while she will text us and say things like she is sleeping in her car while she is really at a motel, or she is driving and can’t see well but she will “be fine” , anything to make you feel sorry for her or be so worried about her. She doesn’t seem to care that it is so selfish to make us worry for no reason. 

Her most recent episode was bad, she left with our family dog in the car and threatened to kill her multiple times to get even with my dad , saying things like the dog was sick when the dog is healthy. She is so manipulative to get you to give her attention or to make my dad upset or worried. Eventually she always comes back and calms down, and after maybe a week or so she is the same happy, friendly, selfless mother. She is two different people. 

I am an adult and don’t live with my parents anymore but they always get me involved, calling or texting me and honestly I can’t deal with it anymore. I am constantly worried she will kill herself or hurt my dog or do some other crazy thing. I worry a lot. 

My mom refuses to see that she might be sick. She refuses to see a therapist or get help, she thinks everything is my dads fault. But this has been happening since before my parents were even married and for as long as I can remember. She is not well.

I don’t know how to approach this situation anymore, how to get her help without angering her more. How to get her to be honest with a therapist so they can actually address her issues. We can’t force her to do anything. 

What can I do in this situation? How can I get her help? I just don’t know what to do anymore and this has been going on for far too long and too frequently.

Please any advice is greatly appreciated. Sorry if this is not the right subreddit for this. 

Also I am in the US",3.9881987577639753,5.1728652525879975,4.914567287784682,84.40688198757766,71.4223602484472,8.08728778467909,27.67163561076605,8.505502328695277,1.8601446790890268,1899,67,386,31,35,619,208,483,0.168,0.71,0.122,-0.9808,4,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,7,2,2,1,25,28,3,1,17,0,56,5,1,12,2,77,86,49,2,1,21,11,1,2,1,6,3,6,2,3,18,25,1,3,9,2,0,9,14,15,2,1,9,10,76,13,54,66,7,50,0,6,3,0,79,19,0,17,23,290,94,0,0.0,0.0,0.06573631823008444,0.0,0.0,0.06582609108471088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0538699598092682,0.112102394009143,0.0,0.0,0.04580897399057557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672229534927265,0.04710159491675763,0.0,0.1663013890183576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328951281395218,0.10359557987540254,0.05624507516793853,0.0,0.0,0.057320731270573376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878489038281775,0.0,0.06868080415638089,0.0,0.0,0.11605407369776337,0.07062855253036827,0.07279519219728152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688679060162989,0.06944802830091235,0.05801943029778685,0.0,0.0,0.14075945427460104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889849105139725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108257645235655,0.0,0.12700719456733522,0.0,0.034060625980389184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05204428675942287,0.0,0.2815540159067529,0.06462047952946258,0.0382837982054188,0.0,0.0,0.07426765999693538,0.0,0.0,0.1191372991687429,0.07170889062461791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806073019534326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211320769615552,0.0,0.0,0.07030920043509123,0.0,0.0,0.14905378505994493,0.0,0.0740416017638179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318981542690635,0.0,0.04758029627054396,0.06582006546480296,0.0,0.05948253463229581,0.1788417185707331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572693936635101,0.0,0.0,0.13489545851660184,0.0,0.06767492771466031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146122317957251,0.0,0.07889442835800901,0.0,0.07159593325583881,0.0,0.0,0.05195429880350021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959670454460752,0.0,0.0,0.04670084299586439,0.05881854732374059,0.0,0.07394406119858553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04315429694159277,0.0692601172140246,0.06651258024460494,0.0,0.15261770842183126,0.057527412930770475,0.0,0.16070866666128228,0.0,0.0,0.1610381497859404,0.061324509631233724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055723155637430064,0.1514370870196612,0.06741138977748308,0.0,0.0,0.0518591292303072,0.0,0.15081414743461868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642666905852046,0.17901124811821353,0.043163324579989434,0.0,0.0,0.0785595122343641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658036099744112,0.0,0.243087250565254,0.05817978005059864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806865548374477,0.0,0.12113438857808645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493527868276333,0.0,0.0,0.3420506678272404,0.0,0.0,0.07365058273438994,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,augurkenzijnhetkwaad,2019/01/26,EQ score 14 I scored 14 on a eq test i know it is low but i don't know what to think of it,-5.6822,-4.77676812,-1.3524999999999991,115.89125,110.2,2.5,6.25,3.1291,-3.1,67,0,25,0,4,25,19,25,0.075,0.925,0.0,-0.1406,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,13,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8639190784983046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5036306442291217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saertomaerto,2019/01/26,"I’m addicted to my fantasies Hello.

I’m a 20 year old college student who is addicted to day dreaming of having friends and impressing my peers. As I begin to think about it, I’ve realized that it’s been going on for 10 years now since my childhood. 
I’ve told myself I’m an introvert, but the reality is im an extrovert that’s forced into being an introvert due to years of bullying and exclusion. 
This issues have manifested into different states of mind and emotions. I am now cold hearted, selfish and emotionless, and to be honest it’s the most powerful I have ever felt in years. To power to be void of pain.
I’ve come to the conclusion that these fantasies are the only thing keeping me from killing myself, and I’m not sure what to do. They’re my addiction they give me a false sense of hope that keep me going every day.

I’m someone who doesn’t have a lot of free time since I have classes, so I’m not sure that I have time for a therapist.

That do I do?",2.907651515151514,4.466518388888893,4.850391414141416,82.3289204545455,74.7070707070707,8.384343434343435,28.031565656565647,9.017664075816787,2.35930202020202,763,31,153,17,16,262,111,198,0.15,0.75,0.1,-0.9108,3,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,1,3,5,10,1,0,11,0,18,5,1,0,3,25,35,9,1,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,15,9,0,2,4,3,1,3,3,3,0,0,3,2,16,8,24,29,2,23,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,3,15,99,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.451712109756213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897776755262462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815137454832006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430553877093702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536591011589376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493704589572405,0.11637168297752115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261643379869167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671082634515204,0.0,0.0,0.13249686370541786,0.15699305328232313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367233887961807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371838839060461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14919282191470165,0.14416093187667905,0.0,0.2455340151659379,0.1528088245991728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742430730905355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946137810042614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493323981175474,0.0,0.0,0.1050461462434876,0.14696894573665895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285078480224568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170282515838168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603520939042093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16036745007973524,0.09176049572969228,0.0885014344615021,0.0,0.0,0.1610772476631792,0.0,0.0,0.1319791547414445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35577786254565524
mentalhealth,neimedait,2019/01/26,"I keep having these rage-fits I’ve been living a lot of my life inside my head (like many others perhaps), and often alone in my room. 
Lately I’ve been able to get outside my head and just chill and be myself around people, which has been great. But most often when I have a day where nothing is planned, I wake up, make breakfast, maybe clean my room and do other normal things like that, and when all of that is done I start thinking that I should be doing something creative (making music for instance, which is what I have been studying for the past 4 years). This is usually when things start going bad. I can really torture myself with this, thinking that I SHOULD be doing it, creating so much anxiety around it that I end up just scrolling facebook, Instagram and other SHIT. This pattern of anxiety usually leaves me feeling soooo grumpy (as I am while writing this), like I’m barely able to control myself from destroying stuff in my room, screaming and hitting myself. I recently turned 25 and I’m so dissapointed that this rage and this pressure I put upon myself is keeping me from living the life I want to live (making and playing music, having good times with other people instead of isolating myself because of how shitty this makes me feel)

anybody got anything to say?
regards",7.92438652256834,7.635608768595041,7.419586776859504,75.0238556897648,62.553719008264466,9.264335664335666,34.31786395422759,8.384062270229773,2.802492307692308,1030,38,174,11,13,323,138,242,0.132,0.773,0.094,-0.9158,0,1,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,14,13,4,1,4,0,25,7,4,6,1,39,45,19,0,4,3,0,2,3,0,2,2,2,4,0,26,14,1,3,4,1,0,2,0,7,0,0,6,4,28,6,23,33,4,28,0,0,0,0,2,11,1,4,18,134,54,0,0.23152920097262086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989721332701685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711920502076392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526440241701806,0.2061100759067623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665860591547648,0.07056902596828035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983984310917662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465859034722029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846737890830475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253307527702643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170681206858646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060482225746414826,0.0,0.06579169025263533,0.09709785447364848,0.09258752630641606,0.12763088072109838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23761575637400675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20579379194865488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058751169963378,0.12257799682624465,0.0,0.0,0.16353592177889828,0.16967020890532575,0.0,0.3066667894056346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841892355217198,0.0,0.0,0.3090950790058684,0.11736713492059632,0.1163011010083687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510030140308852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134247293245928,0.11107925635515548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051041020176493,0.16051319570929976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163753978859461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416176739354068,0.0,0.11430357703476796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206065675754996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188306988171876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912124520102678,0.0,0.0,0.1638775601226785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252277111881855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381771323651133,0.1483545632438671,0.0,0.0,0.06750326949782406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591864268724498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25499670467221,0.0,0.06828096072420091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454860722166738
mentalhealth,ClearBlue_Grace,2019/01/26,"Rant about how disturbingly unstable I am I’m so so sorry if this isn’t okay to post here. I know it’s long as hell but I just need someone to hear me. 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had really bad assholish tendencies. I don’t know how to improve myself. I’m such a bitter person at times. I get irrationally upset over small things, and my mood can go from feeling super happy and energetic to crying in the shower and just canceling my plans for the day. 

Whenever I feel this ugly mood starting to creep its way in, I can usually catch it before it really seeps in. I try really hard to just take deep breaths and relax. I tell myself what I’m feeling/thinking is irrational and I *know* that it is, but I just can’t seem to shake it. My only way of dealing with it when it happens is isolating myself. I don’t want to lash out at other people (I rarely ever do, but I know my ugly mood definitely shows and I don’t want it to affect other people). I don’t want to be an unwanted negative presence in the room. I don’t want to be that person. 

I wish I could be optimistic and kindhearted. Instead I get ridiculously upset over things other people seem to just shake off and move on from. Some days I’m perfectly fine and I’m in a bright and happy mood, and though literally nothing bad happens, I just suddenly find myself in this ugly fog. And it’s like things that I normally think when I’m happy just don’t seem to click when I’m in this mood. All the positivity that I genuinely believe in, and all the things I love and cherish just don’t seem to fucking matter at all. I just don’t understand it. 

I’ve already tried therapy for years to improve myself in other personal ways. I found it very unhelpful and honestly kind of a waste of time. I’ve had four therapists, and none of them really did anything. I don’t understand what therapy is supposed to even feel like. Am I supposed to leave my sessions feeling like crap every time? I gave a lot of effort and I feel like I just sat in a room with strangers for hours on end. I did the breathing exercises, I did the things they recommended and I felt nothing. I can hardly remember anything any of my therapists even said; therapy was that unhelpful and unmemorable to me. 

If therapy can’t help me, can anything? I try so fucking hard to just stop moping and to stop being so negative but I just can’t seem to keep my mood and my line of thinking consistent. Going back and forth between optimism and being so bitter about everything is honesty exhausting. It’s like there’s another person living in my head and I just can’t seem to make them stop thinking for me at times. 

Some days I feel great. I feel good about myself and I’m productive and I enjoy talking to people. Other days it’s like I’m suddenly a different person. The worst is when I start off feeling great and then suddenly I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, I get sad and then the sadness turns into irritation. It’s like my brain just wants to find reasons to be irrationally upset. I also cry so easily. Even when I’m feeling good, I cry all the time. Sometimes happy things make me cry. I get very sentimental about things that are probably stupid idk. 

I know the answer to all of this is probably “Get off the internet, no one can solve your problems for you. Realize how you’re feeling and stop feeling that way”, but that’s obviously not working and I have no idea where to go from here. I’m just tired of this back and forth. I don’t want to be that person people are uncomfortable around. I don’t want to be unstable and unreliable. I don’t want to wake up wondering who I’m going to be today. It’s like I have no sense of self. I don’t even who who I am when this ugly haze comes over me. My thoughts can be so conflicting at times and I’m just so tired of it. I’m tired of making plans for my future one day, and then planning my death the next. Though I live a relatively calm life, my thoughts make everything feel so chaotic and overwhelming. 

I’ve wanted to post about this for a while, but I’m worried I’m just going to get a bunch of people telling me I’m crazy or to “just get off the internet”. I don’t need someone to sit down and tell me this isn’t okay, because I’m completely aware that I can’t keep going like this. I keep hoping that maybe if I just confront it, as if I’m confronting another person, that it might help me gain some control. Or that maybe writing about it and trying to talk myself though it will just make it stop. I don’t understand how anyone is mentally stable. I don’t know what it’s like to not get pissed off over stupid stuff and regret it and hate myself later. The more I try to write this all down and really evaluate it, the more I think I really need serious help but I don’t know where to even begin. The thought of sitting in therapy again, talking about nothing to someone who’d probably rather not be there, is highly upsetting. The thought of beginning a laundry list of medication doesn’t sound so great either but maybe it’s what I need because obviously my brain is broken and somethings not quite right. ",3.077836500170669,4.768904409090911,4.674544771873936,83.21509625668452,74.54158607350097,8.154083513482764,25.994493116395496,8.841846274778883,1.9785616475139376,4045,143,811,85,85,1360,338,1034,0.198,0.623,0.179,-0.9804,2,0,1,0,0,0,90.0,0,2,3,10,71,69,13,8,30,2,72,18,8,12,10,192,185,87,1,25,40,0,16,10,0,2,7,3,3,8,71,47,0,10,47,3,0,11,36,30,0,3,15,24,106,33,117,155,16,110,1,4,3,3,33,44,5,19,57,545,177,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042561929469561804,0.0308436725356617,0.03209255718329727,0.0,0.0,0.026228291202787715,0.08088606871241005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02696839156115189,0.0,0.09521717861436786,0.03433465074380755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05931447049769587,0.06440712732535228,0.0470226959898392,0.0,0.032819439091358885,0.04345413593647294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611167868048251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033223839949361844,0.040438937649618666,0.0,0.04325849327037275,0.030794265190585264,0.0,0.16946525586928596,0.12436930185579095,0.03976301914359652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04029647069828785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03416074943291725,0.0,0.0,0.15284704779207514,0.03488793328341487,0.032496106200454164,0.0,0.06932678901364568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340201769932703,0.08266125713604018,0.037032357068172914,0.0,0.07050286520781535,0.0,0.0,0.04228899613448034,0.0,0.07131297019691052,0.16120598378902598,0.0,0.13151815291306024,0.06469981453665348,0.0,0.12756761243441075,0.0,0.0,0.06821300508398849,0.16422997515886525,0.10365093695112604,0.0380789731165083,0.03958299452578831,0.0,0.04347014668358386,0.0,0.07755610685516015,0.04075034161779526,0.0,0.03830779057533063,0.037982766269503365,0.0,0.0,0.04353978706831251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028458886454037,0.0,0.04016375278785634,0.14837587115651735,0.0,0.0,0.04083907777326259,0.0,0.0,0.027242475816102896,0.18842900130797188,0.0,0.06811439348703728,0.06826482914090487,0.03238830618244329,0.0,0.0,0.032790045337462825,0.03481009285650926,0.0,0.12872577356549192,0.0,0.11624344904076407,0.0,0.0,0.03885428185371894,0.03886855251915213,0.04091568983070519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04099281915276748,0.0,0.1143939112106189,0.0,0.0,0.04101864508583262,0.0,0.037789501070607565,0.11102419292382587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052270802033622575,0.029333516856812968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604336272316249,0.2357391788243464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387701802201761,0.0,0.12475194726512773,0.036905392548725865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04102295509010697,0.0,0.0,0.1482500088827829,0.039655429161159064,0.0,0.0,0.08738247881328813,0.03293777631434582,0.036688019215169836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106710047870184,0.04023595316565542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098038347335471,0.02969235554708846,0.03814579791188097,0.04317491783628615,0.05459877462860984,0.0,0.0,0.16122735387028653,0.0,0.0,0.04415235928615652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028999141780055426,0.09300107607878773,0.10113320544781644,0.0,0.22053547288170028,0.08956332942084799,0.1793650410959574,0.12356751829863273,0.11368175073816553,0.12247813822280175,0.13493961449927533,0.13298842181324325,0.03655897000904259,0.0,0.0,0.130929339005682,0.04195207439306956,0.0,0.12045529089630297,0.0,0.0,0.04247838324848687,0.06364704651780655,0.20474133889309246,0.12245733482395635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435252877139263,0.0,0.041826512784101016,0.02807874339989902,0.03916876428503545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02483721750266223
mentalhealth,Ammarnaqvi,2019/01/26,"Relaxation techniques for anxiety attacks with natural ways  In the present era with a busy schedule, people are facing headaches due to office work or any personal tensions and there is a huge amount of peoples who get anxiety attacks many times a day. There are many natural **Relaxation techniques for anxiety attacks** present to solve your problem. 

**CHECK OUT:** [Anxiety attacks solutions](https://www.allabout-meditation.com/2019/01/relaxation-techniques-for-anxiety-attacks.html)",8.869498327759196,13.136949840579716,6.317681159420292,59.22160535117058,86.82608695652173,10.239018952062429,45.887402452619845,9.057496981413335,7.258678037904126,405,28,41,14,13,116,47,69,0.244,0.597,0.159,-0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,1,2,8,4,1,4,0,3,1,1,0,0,6,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,9,4,1,11,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,7,22,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069433224115868,0.0,0.4812189617810824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7156313710066876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014207616015347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216272729003822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188772827152676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21805086970195506,0.13731481677625176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047817120640605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917005393648966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482698680680797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448836239886095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arcticraspberrie,2019/01/26,"How do you cope with missing people and being touched? To preface, here's a little background info:

I've never experienced missing people. Until just this week, I've just never felt like I want people around me or hugging me when I've been away or haven't seen them in a while. 

But, in the last couple of days seeing my friends do things with their families, and not being able to meet up with them or my own family, has driven me to the verge of tears and given me such immense sadness. I just want to be hugged and have happiness around me, even if I still feel nothing inside. It distracts me from the hollowness I experience daily. 

So how do you cope with this, because I don't want to have an anxiety attack? I just recently relapsed with cutting and I really want to avoid situtions where I might relapse again. ",6.628427672955973,6.5245908364779925,6.8849056603773615,77.16748427672957,65.16352201257862,9.330817610062894,32.13207547169812,8.841846274778883,2.602954716981133,649,23,119,9,9,210,98,159,0.154,0.76,0.086,-0.6321,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,3,1,16,12,2,2,6,0,13,2,0,2,2,35,25,16,0,5,10,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,5,6,21,5,21,16,1,21,0,3,2,2,7,9,0,5,12,94,25,0,0.16491803545881414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616184572547948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29362403242457435,0.0,0.1876180736750186,0.15494592308330996,0.0,0.0,0.10053250370182967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182478669444011,0.0,0.10635848954226694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089268070415109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132148396864246,0.3109400930025648,0.0,0.08338751396050141,0.0,0.1583471766420215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274152650986048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555831538431613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443021021591164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057062179343806,0.1652911970521959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495197384076447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25438991164045743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824330288674496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34300020200982206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565071648256223,0.0,0.1628366641555362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141832225064493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170375615072002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956421470453076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890917207702812,0.0,0.13228730034251146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KurosakiMay,2019/01/26,"I just want to survive. VERY long post.  **Warning.** There will be around-suicidal thoughts, description of illnesses and a lot whining, so if you are sensitive to this stuff, please don't read. 

There will also be a lot of words, so if you don't want to read it, just skip to TL;DR 

Hi. I would like to stay anonimous, you can call me May. I am a guy, 25 yo. Live in Russia, incredibly sorry for any mistakes you find in this ""letter"". 

I hope this is the right place to write this. I will post it to some other subreddits too, just in case. 

I am thinking about ending my life. I am seriously considering doing this. I see no future for myself, no solution for all my problems. Right now I have 10 problems happening at the same time: 

1) Gastritus and 3 other stomach ilnneses  	

2) Conjunctivitis of unknown reason. I can be allergic to something, I am not sure. One year ago it was so bad there was a pus inside my eyes, I was scared as hell. It somehow connected to junk food I eat. I've tried to find a reason but couldn't. My eyesight is bad from birth and now gone from -5 to -7. There was a risk of retinal detachment but it's ok now. 

3) My grandmother is going crazy. I am not sure what exactly is it, it can be marasmus or dementia. I live with her and my mom and grandma screams a lot, makes fights, 	says we want her to die and steal her stuff 

4) I have no friends. All my efforts to find some friends with similar hobbies were in vain. My gf works all the time and she has mental problems too. She cries a lot, she harmed herself with pills and energetic drinks 

5) I stopped to enjoy all of my hobbies. I loved to read comics and books, playing games, all that stuff. Well 	now due to my eyes problems and other problems I can't do it anymore. I don't want to spoil good movie for myself, because I'm 	feeling myself like trash, want to sleep or my eyes are burning like hell 

6) I don't have energy. At all. I want to sleep always all the time, it's hard for me to do stuff. It really just hard to do ususal work. I have this strange feeling of 	euphoria only a bad one, when your brain works pretty slow and sometimes you forget things and don't understand things. It can be chronic fatigue. Plus depression and neurasthenia. 

7) I can't stand the noise from my neighbors. I just freaking hate them. From one side there is drunk people who fight a lot. It was a year long, I tried to fight them and it took almost all my energy I've had. Sound insulation had no effect. Now it stopped, one of them stopped drinking I think. Then there was a TV above me which screamed at 5 am every morning for half a year. It took me a lot to find out who did it. Now it's 	repairs for 2 years. I am not sure who exactly it is but I am so sick of that. I just can't stand that noise anymore. I feel uncomfortable, uneasy, scared all the time. It just doesn't end. 	It's so loud. I am turning into a different person, I scream, I am mad at everything and everyone, I don't control myself. 

8) I am having sleeping problems. I sleep from 6 am to 15, it's unhealthy as hell. Only at night I can relax and draw. 

9) I wanted to become an artist. I have 0 talent but I really love it and wanted it to be my career. 	From the very childhood I've drawn and drawn. But a lot of stuff happened. 

10) Prostatitis or smth like that. I can be stucked in toilet for 3 hours sometime.    
    
 What happened:  

All the problems from above 

My first gf played with me. She breakes up with me, she lies to me, then she returns to me. I was like a little puppy who's chasing a car, car stops and then drives even faster. I loved her like a crazy, but she cheated on me and, well, she tortured me mentally

My 2nd gf  broke up with me and found another guy in a month. Maybe she was dating him 	secretely, I dunno. It was right before our wedding. 

My father has anger issues, my mom too, she s also very paranoid. I have it all. 

My cat died and I blame myself. He was ill for a very long time and I was too dumb to find the right hospital for him and too tired to do a little extra effort. That's when I started to truly hate myself. Oh and also I have tanathophobia and just very afraid to die.  

  
 Don't get me wrong, I don't want to die. I want this suffering to end. I just can't live like this anymore.

 Yes I've been at doctors. So many doctors I don't remember them all. I spent all my money- and I still have all these illnesses. I don't know what to do. I tried all kinds of pills for everything and I still feel like shit. Spent hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars.   

Yes I've tried to live somewhere else. I feel very uncomfortable at other places and last time owner just chained locks without a notification. 

I lived in a hotel when I had money to feel better. Now parents pay for me and I am like a leech for them. I have money for food and sometimes for things like pills, clothes, maybe few comics or . Nothing fancy. Yes I fell bad for being shut-in. Please don't blame me. 

I want to talk to somebody. Doesn't matter. Someone who's going through a lot too. Or maybe someone has inspirational articles for me, like ""comic artists who has mental illneses"" or ""writers who's gone through a lot""? Love this stuff, I am lying to myself there's some kind of hope for me. I feel like I can break any day now. 

Sorry. 

You know what's worst? I wanted to draw so bad, and I draw so bad. And I have 0 energy or sanity to do so. It will take me years to learn anatomy and I already have so many ideas for comics, ideas I love and wanna draw for my entire life. I wanted to become the best, maybe move to USA or Japan sometime in a future. Now I just...trying to not kill myself. I just don't see a solution. 

  
 TL;DR I am suffering from depression and neurasthenia I guess. I have a lot of problems, all in the same time, and I don't know how to solve it. The most troublesome is my neighbors. Just want to talk to someone and get a pat on the back.    ",0.6749531116794572,2.952301471416739,2.3682286300925766,93.66181858842742,85.65285832642918,5.387531669128153,20.593932735372164,6.800593979768761,0.34487556163922983,4544,143,994,57,138,1488,424,1207,0.234,0.631,0.134,-0.9993,2,0,3,0,3,2,188.0,2,7,5,11,59,89,15,4,45,4,106,37,11,6,21,191,166,77,5,30,33,4,9,12,7,6,15,6,2,3,67,48,6,5,29,19,7,11,29,51,2,7,26,20,159,38,126,125,36,106,3,7,5,6,72,31,5,31,69,669,226,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03137403699280481,0.0,0.035441291013169264,0.0,0.03905740166404771,0.0849120602872024,0.029450072211384782,0.0,0.0,0.048137333867887516,0.03711297530561515,0.0,0.0,0.10530196986147942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03150755291896997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02721527345671186,0.17731163083944038,0.021575435459463718,0.07817826831144636,0.030117103029754875,0.0,0.03714309902542719,0.03130250966883362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039510643245089315,0.03614053039154458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03969661075282658,0.0,0.0,0.03887789304359905,0.02282575925385476,0.0,0.060968418276379374,0.0,0.14693068651767874,0.0369784796253684,0.0,0.07245311241790987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693439458983824,0.0,0.036216195759472825,0.02956657193892955,0.0,0.09404391166292272,0.0,0.0,0.023376949828086344,0.0,0.02982039320600746,0.033819827888427204,0.06361845617269489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527145963072528,0.07585497091541256,0.0,0.0,0.16174423711553887,0.03010553446435676,0.08559547058101788,0.03880694152211715,0.05468957257523024,0.0,0.03698309109787155,0.0,0.04022967151205395,0.029686232220212883,0.0,0.0,0.038989725203816376,0.07008988997840954,0.0938945709750678,0.0,0.06341091405407556,0.0698871393520615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030709284140514,0.03485528445228424,0.0,0.0,0.07990948592264091,0.0,0.03694142392301248,0.0,0.0,0.03915745753866405,0.07371337928148547,0.05835371861228554,0.028850274463648476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04999868819544808,0.2074966228541124,0.07094679676125976,0.15626472170562522,0.09396590631038047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009012954272925,0.15971923683955555,0.0,0.02362531165913534,0.07176652957289509,0.1777867034609842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070044065267059,0.0,0.0,0.08290444223804141,0.02825060524068349,0.03761749109932425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033214227201340166,0.0,0.03396083895862625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095933701116118,0.05383641974760568,0.0,0.0,0.03930008623245428,0.0,0.0,0.024537267213911192,0.030904076248570313,0.0739569592507368,0.07770245983234902,0.0,0.0,0.06779402161952176,0.036007724053390235,0.0,0.27093296912223463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620867458893073,0.0,0.04534772597480103,0.07278044225016785,0.0,0.0,0.04009372479050198,0.1209027857019478,0.0,0.02814618355539085,0.07086976264681223,0.0,0.05640777709703435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03633072779105101,0.0,0.0,0.14167549689650802,0.0,0.08996591926358302,0.02724750196730893,0.1400195686058277,0.07923983375565924,0.025051569531868625,0.037724563063468435,0.056530291914874325,0.11836157989682736,0.0,0.0,0.2431012577502657,0.038714540507135985,0.0,0.10007333760564313,0.0,0.02661136707221636,0.056895609587680473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054123460514414,0.045357212466326215,0.0,0.02809833752399414,0.14446688048456366,0.04067940741222168,0.0,0.0,0.07864654738884166,0.12014868326893638,0.03849776174696053,0.0,0.036845687666025286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752191424277946,0.29226250715551755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636456789783746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034117891293522336,0.0,0.07730026149137892,0.0,0.0,0.025142394495057428,0.03869703228213752,0.0,0.1139606677033458
mentalhealth,thefestivalsuk,2019/01/26,https://thefestivals.uk/2019/01/25/mental-health-at-festivals/ How to look after your mental health at a music festival,26.96,34.65224833333333,15.64,4.305000000000007,24.0,11.466666666666667,28.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,4.610566666666668,108,2,7,2,1,27,12,12,0.0,0.758,0.242,0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6975993787620214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755567048409663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6613800792041067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NoWill2,2019/01/26,"Should i seek therapy? I feel like there is something really wrong with me and im not a lovable person. All of my ex partners has cheated on me or attempted to do so.   
All of these relationships follows the same pattern. For the first few months its all fairy tale then they cheat or fall out of love.  All of my relationship last for few months only.   
 I feel like no one can love me and what i can offer as a partner is not enough for anyone.   
I dont know what am i doing wrong, ive tried to find out by myself but i cant. 

Can this be a coincidence or its better to seek help?   
",1.3339791356184811,3.0266834262295106,3.3403725782414315,90.86789120715349,79.49180327868855,6.403576751117736,20.926974664679587,7.348242739294969,0.4728426229508198,446,12,102,6,11,151,79,122,0.098,0.77,0.132,0.7357,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,3,2,9,2,0,5,0,14,2,0,0,4,21,20,9,0,1,6,1,2,2,2,1,0,0,0,3,6,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,4,0,2,0,2,15,5,16,18,8,10,0,0,0,2,11,3,0,3,7,77,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430088423841078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15722307678209768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20834506052458893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836838819738235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17977165888155044,0.25399777936254914,0.0,0.0,0.1624785161325101,0.15121103089597804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191554520202578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19202205432088704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976977168813075,0.1449062380355719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736988386988635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208886457076102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837885603350867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046152062679205,0.13520205959841242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15522186573258934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388398371662145,0.0,0.0,0.3817168011609777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368559945911262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329543364106012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069412871178133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38872707281943136,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,foreverago13,2019/01/26,"I don't know how to talk Like the title I don't know how to talk. I mean I can talk. But theres a lot on my mind, a lot I think about but I can't seem to find the words to tell anyone. Anyone else had this problem. And what is the best solution, a psychologist is too expensive. ",-1.0057142857142836,0.7912166825396838,1.7803174603174623,98.32857142857144,88.5238095238095,5.504761904761906,15.349206349206348,6.868970318607317,-0.531946031746032,213,4,56,3,7,74,40,63,0.069,0.758,0.173,0.7440000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,2,0,16,12,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,7,2,6,11,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,1,38,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30576937239589896,0.2240320639033196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294589684531124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826534477685115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998415144431548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403278927446152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068210118139201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37177566044064203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381732053035979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22077348011424228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20921786699922493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990501261747867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5272261158080641,0.19110914029388956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401016535710588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spun809,2019/01/26,"Civil commitment, not happy Has any one gone from being on a temporary hold to an actual civil commitment? What’s it like? I am really scared to go to court because I am having a lot of symptoms. ",2.043461538461539,4.382476358974362,5.156089743589742,75.46182692307694,80.28205128205127,9.028205128205126,22.570512820512814,9.516144504307137,2.6349435897435898,154,5,27,5,4,56,32,39,0.14300000000000002,0.6709999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.2189,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,6,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.3647902683343374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542075425589481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278746240014871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124481169044385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3979338386636385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826275032520808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178048002130985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533072404492017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394759546161927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742547988558276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3885377169446286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lustforwine,2019/01/26,"Can this friendship be saved? Hi everyone! I just wanted some advice. I haven't spoken to my friend in a few years and I do feel bad for not replying to her anymore. We went to the same school and she used to have no friends, so I asked her to hang out with me and my friends. It's not until I started talking to her that she want from happy, nice and cheery to grumpy and mean. All over high school she would fluctuate between being incredibly kind, nice, in a very happy mood, positive, cheery and a great friend to grumpy and mean with no good reason. When she was in this unhappy phase she would do things like steal my stuff, make up lies about me to my friends, be extremely paranoid and complain I am talking about her behind her back. When we went to the beach on our school trip she was SO NEGATIVe, and this is only 1 example of the negative things she did. She kept telling me in a very mean way ""oh they're looking at you"", ""those girls are laughing at you and talking about you"", ""you're gonna get wet"". She would also keep saying how she's ugly and fat and saying she wants to kill herself and die. She had health problems with her heart and would try to make us feel pity for her for being sick. She told my other friend that she hopes we all die & she would call other people fat.

 So my question is, could this be caused be a mental condition? Or is she just moody because of her health conditions? But the thing is I have coeliac disease and other issues (I'm also going to be checked for ADHD which I'm 99% positive I have) and I don't seek pity from other people and I don't take my anger out on others and be mean to them. I do feel bad for deleting her on Facebook but I can't handle being with someone who changes moods more than the weather, I put up with it for 6 years. I cannot predict what she will do, I feel like she would poison me if I got on her bad side. 

​

And is there anyway to still continue to be friends with someone like this or is it something she needs to get help with before she can be friends with anyone else?

​

Thank you! :) ",3.983986206896553,4.758927087058826,4.36881135902637,89.84282352941179,71.07058823529411,7.179716024340769,25.949290060851933,7.0983637204850245,0.9692742393509128,1632,48,352,14,29,513,201,425,0.109,0.725,0.166,0.9757,0,0,1,0,0,0,55.0,5,4,1,0,17,36,3,0,10,0,45,7,3,6,2,76,78,33,3,14,9,0,5,3,8,8,6,2,0,1,23,32,2,2,10,1,1,6,11,12,0,0,9,8,68,22,57,49,6,33,0,2,1,0,64,17,0,6,12,253,91,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347012341747323,0.06786957372186009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110845608001767,0.0,0.22575990295027465,0.16878824704865733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887963284538788,0.048563800704893585,0.07116375598809138,0.0,0.0,0.0649300462372652,0.0,0.0,0.053405782796401916,0.17397338408061416,0.04233846930543105,0.0,0.05910017642932317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092022497248088,0.0,0.0,0.07134831508516773,0.07347304559811464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05545330926311085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416442191496973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058019843949620224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636620371622973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047196957290686,0.049617899389957226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4292794542485832,0.0,0.0725736205977886,0.0,0.0394722673310763,0.05825465882303087,0.055548650230087766,0.07657319980956276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786999375360774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476525533671854,0.0,0.08230323800812693,0.04655350330183052,0.07338188725477005,0.0,0.06898342093286101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249185518419454,0.0,0.06173384161191865,0.07684047986861144,0.07232557720497433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179504156700576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058323806336267325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272207130102636,0.0,0.0,0.3026227508655414,0.0,0.0,0.06999322276775669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051499206889004605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05282284126503003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096301215957118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664580282664672,0.0,0.06982038002786281,0.0778042936176502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141020458274959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046510099542282,0.0,0.2108732465469096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769617407205353,0.05346902628500901,0.0,0.0,0.04915984707101966,0.0,0.05546599589059822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950812981047425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222070952307888,0.1674733071785013,0.06070579358157115,0.06394384463419149,0.0,0.0,0.13842630901741906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636620371622973,0.0,0.04715465741794358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354452265162046,0.059985893225594264,0.0,0.11461352730425226,0.1228971770589412,0.055129294509073695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876897248130995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960284624411895,0.0,0.16878824704865733,0.08945210381778243
mentalhealth,gdiana96,2019/01/26,"*rant* What is missing from me? I used to take medicine to help with my depression years ago. I am much better now but every now and then I feel low energy (not physically) and my mood is just all gloomy for no reason. I hate being like this. I literally can't feel anything, nothing matters and I don't feel motivated to do anything - get out of bed, take care of myself or talk to my friends and family. I just wanna feel more joyful, more interested, less 'meh' and depressed. I can't go to parties because I am just a huge disappointment when I don't feel like talking with anyone and just get stuck scrolling on my phone look bored as hell. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just enjoy life like normal people do? I tend to get depressed very easily. I want to be able to talk to my family with more 'life' in my voice. I want to be able to het up and do something, to make me feel better. Is it serotonin/dopamine deficiency? Or just vitamin D? Why the hell can't I be normal? ",1.818450145464162,3.859539170854273,3.5560433747685813,88.22230097857712,79.40201005025125,6.6015339857180635,22.533985718064,7.669130373188453,0.9452452261306532,761,24,162,12,19,254,108,199,0.244,0.5539999999999999,0.202,-0.9174,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,9,22,3,0,2,0,19,3,0,4,1,39,41,13,0,5,10,0,6,3,1,0,3,1,1,0,4,12,0,0,8,0,0,1,8,11,0,0,1,8,25,10,26,36,6,13,2,6,1,0,6,6,2,2,9,104,29,1,0.24531820457451756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872989335091768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576609628543297,0.0,0.20187597989914716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477185027368634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21696401637372312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505912958249815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169383151976182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334558392071803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231264170511758,0.0,0.3721207656605531,0.08762768718246516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476611815807727,0.0,0.1922529551320274,0.0,0.06970999450997062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110046931628612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221581072024059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17327550281220125,0.17977512488094288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300275343698943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081875903240284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016855351833013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403597544963683,0.11769471677890728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503637730469259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611398599593993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094428969522279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444875961278295,0.29576622052284873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593808185271628,0.0,0.10120660528737274,0.1446950330335648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213615228226754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410847300265402,0.0,0.07898844033635738
mentalhealth,sethenis,2019/01/26,"Need advice about supporting a dependent Hello let me start this by saying I have a learning disability please forgive me for grammar and punctuation.
 I have been dating a young lady that has a lot of emotional and mental health problems and need advice. I've found out from the women's center in my town that they have dealt with her before and believe she is an undiagnosed autistic woman. The women's center believes that she will have to go on disability.

The questions I have are
How to get someone tested for autism?

where can I go to get help to better understand female autism?

I am very sorry about grammar and punctuation hope this post is appropriate here. Also I live in British Columbia Canada.",5.83023076923077,7.839825407692309,6.453846153846152,71.94615384615386,68.0,8.584615384615384,29.92307692307693,9.120678840339163,2.866984615384616,573,22,90,11,10,187,88,130,0.033,0.83,0.13699999999999998,0.9094,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,8,0,14,1,0,2,0,19,25,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,5,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,13,4,16,21,1,14,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,4,3,66,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319083002927344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581154905676146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445112885639012,0.3826764473414785,0.0,0.15019924071242718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19103386516535764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862078540238256,0.0,0.0,0.17745644872779984,0.0,0.1930345579043796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18051943357867328,0.0,0.0,0.1138322616914124,0.0,0.0,0.16867772062364902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17366083927277692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996141075354366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443818613290412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711468801621062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518509147413123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18642036360309455,0.0,0.0,0.16264846940103928,0.0,0.0,0.16250265025331212,0.0,0.0,0.19024644943212246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350541999251089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389488155364258,0.0,0.0,0.1901087642843056,0.12020527306433852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192719027206964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679714404734675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012604968615192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rdqnmd,2019/01/26,"asking for advice hi reddit

my name is a., i’m currently seventeen years of age and i’m from russia. in the past three years i’ve experienced various symptoms which in different ways have made my life more complicated. these involve insomnia, anxiety, low empathy episodes, low self-esteem, self-destructive behavior (be that excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, promiscuity or self-injurious acts), lack of motivation or appetite, food restraint etc. 

currently i do not have the opportunity to consult a therapist. discussing these issues with my friends and family is very hard, since i simply cannot be honest and trivialize everything to a joke even while being highly unstable. 

i am writing here not for reassurance, but for validation and advice. what might the source of the aforementioned symptoms be? how do i stop distancing myself from friends? how to break the façade of being carefree? 

very grateful to you all in advance. thank you for being here! ",7.565769230769233,10.244187932098773,7.698395061728394,62.06431623931627,64.74074074074073,11.898195631528964,38.38746438746439,11.51311941424646,5.7356062678062685,783,42,108,28,13,253,110,162,0.12,0.755,0.125,0.8363,3,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,3,5,9,0,0,8,0,15,6,0,4,1,20,20,10,0,1,5,0,1,0,2,1,5,0,0,0,5,5,2,1,1,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,1,2,10,7,18,12,5,18,0,2,0,0,12,6,0,3,8,77,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29501974390104235,0.0,0.16132322920931574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547890379910122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411210102107285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771412773964835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835289412779514,0.09970326764924234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356671424172927,0.0,0.14230538908434434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18253339669336768,0.0,0.23325237604521176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522455628964633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949050802645953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755608425505807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066228192283769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14283571489717198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601376552510304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410205857679592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4724318145482882,0.0,0.0,0.12487017559919225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126203764462699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31379667079594603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389775685444676,0.0,0.17526848049335492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491046548448022,0.0,0.11981974731538295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194418023515828
mentalhealth,ashleym1998,2019/01/26,Creating a website to help those who struggle with mental health. An open ear; and a voice to support it. I am an open ear to listen to those who want to be heard; also the voice to support. ,2.823076923076921,4.085766692307693,4.003076923076924,89.51692307692308,74.38461538461539,6.2256410256410275,25.820512820512814,6.42735559955562,0.8583435897435896,147,5,31,1,3,48,26,39,0.052000000000000005,0.6829999999999999,0.264,0.8074,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,0,2,3,2,0,0,5,7,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,2,7,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551162113709702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390980685609949,0.0,0.0,0.21382905604268387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214921260979773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335037842748395,0.0,0.0,0.7240289713445667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881633353523269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lienordni,2019/01/26,Is it safe to take Rexipra-10 if I am feeling extremely depressed? I am not seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist but I have a few tablets from 2 years ago when I was seeing them. ,3.017500000000002,4.763005750000005,4.823333333333338,81.855,74.83333333333334,8.133333333333335,31.44444444444445,8.841846274778883,2.722511111111112,141,7,28,3,3,48,29,36,0.075,0.82,0.105,-0.0249,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,9,4,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,5,1,2,8,1,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,3,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3437105514961309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339622611273613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605438401310898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6179615386804973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915342916996978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45019921629080223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496936173956018
mentalhealth,saki1196,2019/01/26,"Planning a 4d 3n trip away from parents I post this here instead of r/raisedbynarcissists because the reason I wanted to take a trip was because my mental health got worse by being a sitting duck in my parents' house. 

Long story short, my parents are the primary reason I got depression and anxiety because I was trying so hard to live up to their expectations, which was never quite enough. After years of bending to their will, I finally broke a few months ago and had my first panic attack. I had at least 2 in the last 2 months. I had to dig deep to find out that my parents were the source of my depression and anxiety. And now, I have a panic disorder. 

My friend said I could stay with her for the duration, even though she still has classes (bless her, really). I dont have a specific schedule or activity to do while I am on the trip. But I am not letting that stop me. I am still going by myself. 

It is scary to think that I would be leaving for the trip in 2 days. But I am looking forward to it too. ",5.311486042692941,5.274443428571427,6.353312807881775,79.64290845648607,67.91625615763547,9.32824302134647,31.202380952380967,9.075114841892004,2.4842548440065686,788,29,159,13,12,264,123,203,0.16899999999999998,0.8059999999999999,0.025,-0.98,4,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,3,9,8,1,2,13,0,24,1,0,2,1,20,32,10,0,4,4,4,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,7,6,0,1,4,0,0,6,3,6,0,1,10,3,29,2,27,16,3,37,1,3,1,0,11,12,0,1,18,123,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006675022981665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737520711089961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291952756836176,0.10669697677141368,0.0,0.0,0.20768240942639404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067149464275752,0.0,0.0,0.0732392893101959,0.0,0.19562475776899715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015401252208994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309598817079793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173418161236846,0.0,0.0750078528651796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244036483537807,0.10379530288230253,0.09659735406614077,0.0,0.0,0.08773914995646452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454095388366729,0.0,0.18165477258903145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173090472436552,0.0,0.0,0.1207130636523457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103743724878306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256969613244616,0.0,0.12024772140579075,0.0,0.1161267323383132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002789614548552,0.10050043492563487,0.09536503346757028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444565180238556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129116559933373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875874432610597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664854220575126,0.5043968708306222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876277778263432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078913491398767,0.0,0.0,0.07275191123526492,0.2335251067358849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802522863051417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104395554069025,0.18138447699802646,0.09494446490111444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538588312731514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276713052960743,0.11157590749706917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710240063700546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698290194872487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573126670300518,0.08067250179481386,0.0,0.0,0.07313139702460428
mentalhealth,sailorjoanus,2019/01/26,mental health questionnaire !! left this to last minute so PLEASE GIVE LEGIT ANSWERS if u have time !! [The Movement to Destigmatise Mental Illness](https://goo.gl/forms/RiGK8ypgVPe0in5n2),11.0854,16.155501440000005,4.7835,71.89925000000002,74.6,7.3000000000000025,30.25,8.07648339933343,3.3812,156,6,17,3,4,38,23,25,0.0,0.8190000000000001,0.181,0.7249,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,7,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31119649619063144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448247523712833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644313844762188,0.0,0.0,0.3524643314865495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6538429619578435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560965954858617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916174197247151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Potatoes2019,2019/01/26,"So confused with diagnosis Its stressing me out. To start...regardless of any diagnosis, my main issue is anxiety. I just like to know what is what etc. 

So...depression was what the docs would say repeatedly. Then they added in anxiety. I was referred to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed/suspected BPD. 
I recently mentioned avoidant personality and they agree i fit extremely well. 
However...recent diagnosis wrote on my prescription letter to my gp is ""depression and anxiety"" 
So are they no longer thinking bpd or are they just writing down what they are treating right now with the prescription, which is in fact depression and anxiety? 

",5.691793160967473,8.886383917431193,6.4617014178482055,66.38461217681402,72.21100917431194,11.670058381984987,36.51459549624687,11.022393298168332,5.620515596330277,513,29,78,21,11,168,69,109,0.183,0.733,0.083,-0.8709,1,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,5,0,6,8,0,3,3,0,11,0,0,0,1,19,14,8,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,6,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,4,1,13,3,12,9,2,11,0,2,0,0,11,7,0,2,5,60,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954877010684935,0.0,0.5379404130686549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44282323064316376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542440659658186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606140695179192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183487594394504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661406550413706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858860959894928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535001633843918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17357946428818802,0.0,0.0,0.15013065921793775,0.0,0.13980174458699274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443083511856085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20137618641263136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264435584874888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806364900395647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488196158410303,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anonymous949597,2019/01/26,"How to come over this mental health problem? Hello Everyone, 

​

I have a weirdest mental health problem I don't know what it is and how to describe it. I don't feel any emotion at all except anxiety. I don't have mental clarity, confidence, and memory. One of the weirdest thing is I try to feel what the other person is feeling. All of the things are happening only in mind I don't what it is and how to come out of this",3.1370443349753714,4.729753804597703,4.854844006568143,82.39241379310344,74.17241379310343,7.730049261083742,27.37110016420361,8.418075326091056,2.032482430213465,339,13,65,6,7,115,48,87,0.153,0.7909999999999999,0.056,-0.7475,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,11,2,0,3,2,19,18,6,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,11,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,0,3,6,0,12,18,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,53,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039743244709808,0.20230983888355195,0.11322241574471648,0.0,0.1273683389630585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868416695772198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18728464136510067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590932569762739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525548611547364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472311169855192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35395313127280864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150138375760633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5033638728531861,0.0,0.16811264557545352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128214269355748,0.12662706903542872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537714859011985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31862675811146113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22122396761812207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303928219697855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230983888355195,0.0
mentalhealth,EternalOCPD,2019/01/26,"Knowing when to give up As the title suggests, I'm not usually sure when I should give up and when I shouldn't. So even if I try hard and am exhausted, when I give up, there is no relief - just guilt. 

A quick example of what is currently happening - The place where I work has an yearly event which involves a lot of work. It is not part of anyone's KRAs, but it is considered good practice volunteering and going for it. The lead up to the event involves working weekends till you drop dead, long meetings which are usually not too productive, and generally a tonne of things I don't like. I love my job, but events and public spaces aren't my thing - they never have been (I've got some GAD). 

This year, when we were asked to volunteer, I declined - mainly because I don't feel like I have it in me, and more important, I don't want to put in the extra hours for something I don't really care about. However, I was called in by my CEO and asked why I said no. In the panic, I said yeah I'll come. 

Now I'm looking at over 60 hours of mind numbing, sleep deprieving work that doesn't interest me at all. Moreover, I am absolutely incensed that what was marketing as being a volunteer only event then compels people to help when they don't want to or have to resources to.

Today has been a mad day, where I've been working over 12 hours, most of it waiting for unproductive meetings. I want to give up, make an excuse and not go. But on the other hand, I know I have a low tolerance for frustration and this is something I may just need to do.

I know i come across as a big cry baby, but this is a situation I find myself stuck in many many times. Any advice would be great :) ",4.3338021390374335,4.80109553529412,5.430213903743319,83.65687165775401,70.11764705882352,8.88770053475936,28.101604278074866,8.97023862654752,2.003823529411765,1302,43,276,23,22,432,183,340,0.192,0.7170000000000001,0.091,-0.9864,3,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,1,1,2,6,17,16,2,2,17,1,35,5,2,3,3,49,65,27,1,8,12,0,3,2,0,4,2,2,0,0,17,12,0,1,5,1,0,6,15,7,0,0,10,6,33,9,42,49,8,57,0,1,1,1,22,22,0,6,30,191,50,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715442209274999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761064376416986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951845625916674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589305259199584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060697440826735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152139013170096,0.0,0.10136776659108583,0.0,0.0,0.17128719442121712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921084180051724,0.06411922528964953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566755988012836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027095455179801,0.07102738497287545,0.0,0.0,0.09087027567034653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815001158711986,0.11300808627315925,0.08339079504692623,0.07951717854090823,0.10961355092310804,0.0,0.0,0.08791890312562313,0.0,0.08906294504462631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666407413757706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937331211823862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866139441042364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391985863769587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714552872523784,0.0,0.0,0.08798569851506535,0.08348977882300193,0.0,0.0,0.08452537213276576,0.08973260092784742,0.0,0.06636522640772442,0.20159742450466986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038828546002417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372045246726924,0.07668068682663272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561521805680806,0.0,0.11665076883081027,0.0,0.1076647744191596,0.0,0.06892697618439156,0.0,0.10387525074625048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994697623566108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369253758033305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891469465846271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175494724326678,0.09949420523652606,0.0,0.0,0.15308044720808184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370443874486176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321036542838742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579740030529529,0.0,0.09424081342377473,0.0,0.0,0.06750128576314209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21899946247249785,0.0,0.1759257287061176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971325505241873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619034695547249,0.0,0.0,0.07062682292496279,0.0,0.0,0.1280495364095407
mentalhealth,quietsunflower,2019/01/26,"Is it normal to talk to yourself... A LOT? Almost every moment i’m alone, i’m talking to myself. Sometimes it’s talking to a friend, family member, or Mark, the name i gave the psychiatrist i talk to out loud. He doesn’t have any dialogue, but i have an image of him in my head and sometimes imagine him sitting in front of me. 

Back to the main point, talking to myself has gone outside of just my home. i talk to myself in the streets, and it’s uncontrollable. i’ll tell myself to stop but i just can’t. sometimes it’s just a whisper, other times it’s talking, and at least once a day it’s yelling/screaming. the other night i got no sleep because i couldn’t stop talking to myself. i was in bed and trying to go to sleep, but i couldn’t stop talking to myself. I ended up talking to myself for more than 6 hours straight. Is any of this normal at all?

",0.8970472792149877,3.0809064180790955,2.8431578947368443,91.27099910793936,83.68926553672317,4.630270591733573,22.310139756170088,5.750287758089431,0.2557638418079096,664,23,138,4,19,222,91,177,0.101,0.87,0.03,-0.8876,0,1,0,0,1,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,10,0,10,3,3,0,1,24,16,8,0,4,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,9,5,0,3,1,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,4,2,22,1,28,10,5,25,0,0,0,0,17,11,0,3,10,97,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771515801448437,0.1010664337187691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271940865666554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503521091378537,0.0,0.05948561761955636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629328844556542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864294671153304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221778470474812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919924541509416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539229064691112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0554585992255538,0.0,0.07804594311220439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100148187041714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788358457315993,0.0,0.09609947974607344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296147456512099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157492197736147,0.19122100623117969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392258192063693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224736271383788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19530670540301112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895358890782453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447509702347944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7843342217873479,0.08529173783384365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056901361784734227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625236968085546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,museumpizza,2019/01/26,"Insight on some odd behavior? I’m trying to keep this vague and pretty anonymous. So forgive me if I’m hard to understand. I have a person in my life who has probably always had some sort of mental illness. That’s okay, many people do. But over the past few years they have been drowning in mental illness or poor life circumstances then treading water then drowning again. I try to reach out and offer an ear the best I can. Recently they have been showing up at my house unexpected or uninvited. Then it progressed to unexpected, uninvited and at very late hours. Then it’s turned into trying to turn the door knob at late hours or showing up when they know I am not there for a night but I happened to have a house sitter they didn’t know about and they’re knocking on the door at an odd hour of the night. This person is notorious for a spacey personality, hard to get ahold of, unreliable but sometimes they’ll surprise you with normalcy and integrity. I’m really worried about these unexpected late visits because I have kids and think this is scary and inappropriate. What do I do? Does this sound like any specific type of mental illness? I’m worried and want to help them but I’m also very worried about the unpredictability of this person. I’ve never dealt with something like this before. Thanks for reading ",4.492780952380954,6.644432720000001,5.195257142857145,79.01886666666668,71.8,7.801904761904763,27.904761904761905,8.563005593585519,2.1760761904761905,1060,40,190,19,21,342,140,250,0.138,0.75,0.112,-0.7779,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,6,2,8,7,0,0,12,1,18,7,1,0,1,33,34,23,2,2,9,0,2,2,0,1,5,2,2,5,12,12,1,1,6,3,1,1,3,0,0,0,4,4,17,7,34,29,4,32,0,0,0,0,17,13,0,7,20,123,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080360778188564,0.08407540964386186,0.0,0.0,0.06871232836131111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061594537408226624,0.0,0.08597967965369452,0.0,0.10603781354390364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842292564981248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0527905078064256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935150154472564,0.0,0.1810283702098072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772662185594829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985193683952599,0.23317883356969266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981116887074357,0.0,0.0,0.1110605719708887,0.0,0.34194084149804216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273853597082084,0.0987284707994332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244118128557493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054810612299038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779301636378546,0.0,0.0,0.1896429820554023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964564481622666,0.07005010981782854,0.35290546680007834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279649327860074,0.1089408468374706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106978979770832,0.0,0.06473037842459194,0.0,0.09976722584674344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778741163112794,0.09993356301636587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302630905084017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474391965897902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20580356526463234,0.21981033296049135,0.0,0.10518875002735356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674120039868778,0.0595974527335386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078405267332963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506802259549564
mentalhealth,DeadSa1nt,2019/01/26,"just questions from a growing teen. so a couple years back one of my first relationships was toxic as all hell, we dated from when i was 11 until i was about 14-15 but during all that we were constantly mentally and a few rare times physically abusing eachother. ever since that incident, im 16 going on 17 now, i haven’t been able to feel like myself, i feel emotionally withdrawn 24/7 and i just wanna know should i seek professional help or is this something not worthy of the therapist fines. ",6.1695087719298245,6.9021135473684225,6.856578947368423,74.10521929824564,66.15789473684211,9.701754385964913,30.570175438596486,9.725611199111238,2.8692807017543847,397,14,71,8,6,131,77,95,0.104,0.81,0.086,-0.4135,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,0,1,8,3,1,0,4,0,8,0,0,0,3,18,12,8,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,5,2,10,2,10,6,3,13,1,0,0,0,5,1,1,2,11,52,13,1,0.22663487319100226,0.26852526512262226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742682281480331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449117844057337,0.0,0.0,0.2507671765216626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25493372811989884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050042178926196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291868030027655,0.16190799869144087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927755073597879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288018212371488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151908578241834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448045537857804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245525992918015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072235127149713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283946470854709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357365543084234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253882925801262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433210380735524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18747470908375544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17447459776054258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26314055565607875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215261710704496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594542781881198
mentalhealth,Graham-Bag420,2019/01/26,"Haven't been feeling the same I noticed a drastic change in myself about 10 months ago.  I'm not sure what triggered it or why I can't go back to feeling normal/ how I used to feel but I hate it :( I used to do a lot of cocaine for about 2 years and other drugs but I quit in January 2018 and now only smoke weed.  My closest childhood friend's older brother, who was like my big brother, also died shortly after I quit drugs at 26 from drowning in the river in a kayaking accident.  I miss him lots and his death definitely made me realize how fragile life is and how easy it is to be gone forever.  I used to be really close with my parents too and once I moved out around 3 years ago and got a better job, I became more busy and have a girlfriend that wants to use up all my free time and I feel like I'm letting them down by never seeing them, plus it's hard because I can't drive to see them because my license is suspended.  My dad was my best friend when I was little, then in my teens and early 20's we butted heads really hard, now he feels like little more than a distant uncle I've met a handful of times. My mom loves me so much and we were so close and now when I talk to her she sounds so alone and tired.  I've blown off the last 3+ visits I've scheduled with each parent.  It makes me feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world.  I've become so ashamed I can't even answer my phone when either one of them call me anymore.  I feel like all I do is work, and when I'm not doing that my little bit of spare time is being taken by this girl I don't even really want to be with but won't leave me alone and demands so much from me.  I think of my dead friend every day still and find myself randomly breaking down crying when I used to go years straight without crying.  What's happened to me? I used to be the most laid back, easy going don't care about anything guy now I have constant anxiety and sadness/guilt.",5.219904423205158,4.272583034229832,5.912777283840858,85.78332018226274,68.29095354523227,8.512158257390531,29.104356523671928,7.1686216300943375,1.431052811735941,1507,43,336,11,22,494,214,409,0.173,0.698,0.129,-0.961,3,2,4,0,0,0,27.0,2,0,4,5,28,18,2,1,13,0,28,8,3,12,4,71,63,37,4,3,9,6,11,5,4,1,4,1,0,2,12,27,0,0,11,0,1,7,11,4,0,1,10,14,54,15,46,46,15,63,0,1,2,1,30,24,1,5,36,217,66,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682941798196596,0.0,0.0,0.15986876183313578,0.0,0.06172018279218175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05904188099499048,0.0,0.07654103323184662,0.0,0.0,0.06351191007101781,0.0687058558789766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869209015581718,0.0,0.094095454700424,0.08523836886488663,0.0,0.0,0.0809948146434148,0.06825873540506815,0.08425970321878326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880859801638987,0.0,0.07868934377999214,0.0,0.08164536587170315,0.0,0.0,0.0834033027816594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955546647505915,0.04977420270170669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009983033310053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17900675131784236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195227473927694,0.0,0.06502680938553006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731688771029768,0.2205473594568056,0.0,0.0,0.07054039565112963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888538826388664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158816332424214,0.0,0.06172726113086514,0.0,0.0,0.07641954758934291,0.06824931657733073,0.0,0.13827481725914734,0.07619848701778621,0.07920813109297821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658845255902033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291135349248034,0.0,0.08172163487715547,0.0,0.07892096672338092,0.054513955338405334,0.18852930679104,0.23206151898991284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123000120379244,0.06965724628390071,0.07302883040407639,0.05151771900924645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039135274615964,0.06160370553536833,0.08202928131694934,0.11347119286110045,0.0,0.05952536126525883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561923473952513,0.0,0.08786903705605201,0.0,0.08219333505120728,0.052298627092461435,0.05869826364700121,0.0,0.0,0.1713967484344149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417917055171755,0.0,0.0,0.14832892608052112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300366879171065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922334539942692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061635413246602634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274048785005059,0.0,0.0,0.062033721922659026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945331855504514,0.0,0.0,0.13501144624026756,0.08870614325695605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39994832061271496,0.0,0.0,0.09104459015224868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964222854903758,0.0,0.0,0.0743980000013269,0.0,0.05618738083841336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910263385863706
mentalhealth,symbionicdan22,2019/01/26,I feel so lonely and disposable at this point There so many people that had come into my life giving me moments but they always go away without any reason...and it hurts me but now it was one of my closest friends and I can't help to think is my damn fault. I was starting to love myself but all the sudden this happened and I'm on the hole of depression ,2.5582882882882885,4.048312216216221,3.7308108108108087,90.28153153153154,75.48648648648648,6.014414414414415,23.144144144144143,6.42735559955562,0.5051063063063066,280,8,59,2,6,91,56,74,0.23,0.643,0.127,-0.8567,0,2,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,4,7,1,0,2,0,5,2,0,0,1,12,14,8,0,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,5,0,1,3,1,10,2,9,11,1,12,0,3,0,1,5,6,1,0,4,43,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436272734459466,0.0,0.0,0.1751922728907375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420450107069605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219191479110976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218900573452308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026177977296166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19903866194943448,0.0,0.0,0.2471351723875115,0.14641291952702354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278149062204481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267906795072074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27579043277263704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196653455207729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325145485048335,0.0,0.0,0.26118898624219905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17457181147048592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17860314514012454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24353672617425245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648790465793929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234667577616773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507422629122226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24833909324332865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,babyfacedOle,2019/01/26,"Irritable, heads in the clouds, poor self esteem. Do I have serious problems? I'm a young 20s dude working in a very intense field, imagine something along the lines of commercial real estate development. I was a really bright student in a university program in finance. I guess the point I am trying to make is that I'm supposed to be alright. This is always how I've seen myself too, at least alongside my sister who has severe anxiety issues, and will realistically never live a stereotypically normal life. 

The problem is, I actually think I have some problems too. I just don't know the benchmark to compare myself to, nor do I know whether I'm just in a 'funk' or if I have legitimate mental health issues that need assessing and treatment. 

I am often an irritable guy. I get in moods where the smallest things will tick me off. I'm talking stuff like my shirt getting untucked. Sometimes I will feel physically uneasy and want to go live on an island somewhere. 

Also, my attention span has seemingly gotten worse over the past year or two. I will sometimes type something up that just doesn't make sense at all. Like, at work saying ""good morning"" at 3 in the afternoon by reflex. This is perhaps not the best example, but I am constantly in auto-pilot mode.

Finally, some events have made me realize what the every day normal could be. There's times where I'm at my best self, and feel awesome. I don't think excessive drinking is a positive thing, but it's crazy how much better I am at connecting with people. However, followed by this is several days of severe depression and anxiety about overexposing myself, shame, and other invasive thoughts. 

I do think part of this is caused by circumstance. I have had a really tough time dating lately; there was one girl I really liked and it just fell through. This cycle repeated itself a few times actually. It hurts to type out, but I've never even had a serious girlfriend nor sex. I've been capable of attracting the very best women when I'm at my best self, but these times are few and far between. This shame, this lack of experience, is really weighing down my mental health, and it's self-perpetuating.

My job is a really 'good' job, and I am doing way better than many of my fellow graduates who are unemployed or selling insurance to family. But I still know that it's not the job I want permanently, or even long term, and that itself is causing me a bit of an existential crisis.

And finally, I'm still living at home. I have zero debt. In a way it's good to have that support system, but I'm actually wondering if it's bad for my mental health. It's an abstract thing to describe, but I see myself falling into the same behaviour patterns when I'm around them. It's almost like they don't recognize that I've changed. Also, the way we all communicate with each other is, frankly, very toxic. I definitely saw these things more clearly when I spent some time living abroad.

Can some kind soul help guide my sails? I can afford counselling, but I'm not really sure where that will take me. I am preferring not to get on any medications - that's just a personal thing, but perhaps I should open myself to it. 

Thank you so much.  
",5.6271836701892575,6.737225823723228,6.610591071643827,74.03704383814843,67.53377265238879,9.809924860368866,31.11459798288263,9.982072881682312,3.1669489211234776,2533,99,451,59,41,845,294,607,0.136,0.75,0.114,-0.8911,9,0,3,0,0,0,77.0,1,1,2,8,27,32,0,2,32,1,52,10,2,7,6,94,93,38,0,14,25,1,2,4,2,6,5,1,1,7,41,21,2,0,15,1,5,4,12,11,0,3,11,7,52,20,55,73,22,68,1,2,4,1,19,33,0,15,31,316,93,12,0.0,0.0,0.18118984301782254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197482065909352,0.0,0.0,0.09898829976101606,0.051498207077719946,0.0,0.0,0.04208795092087226,0.0,0.09469277552312573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509604435217917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167633668669348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25980282715643155,0.10947498623482152,0.06756885983373746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127158055993012,0.06547239156937283,0.0,0.0,0.06688210212053591,0.0,0.049414867021452126,0.0,0.0,0.0798290522565698,0.0,0.053306562494340216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06062954378904031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175674371534268,0.0,0.05214577313899886,0.0,0.0,0.06054119999853121,0.0583452553712229,0.0,0.06258782197967296,0.0,0.0,0.13559696494705556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700636063276474,0.0,0.03517403861229765,0.15573351297007765,0.0,0.0,0.06817983086891446,0.061281745631295674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351794396447236,0.1973614754549282,0.0,0.0,0.04148418201928671,0.0,0.06208164344872252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625551462660749,0.0,0.0,0.12919609060908852,0.18425157761615565,0.0,0.0,0.06444987372847516,0.10204090038491544,0.0,0.06981565849986357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043715390234394,0.1209471177180766,0.0,0.21860328055094214,0.05477152049842195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05856268912533773,0.08262534525314252,0.06274768317487395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062348595075505726,0.187114484677242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909939013871286,0.045891336224063835,0.09546819270040477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127993044510148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04193889212179994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702183989648347,0.0590818904419625,0.042907374183444466,0.054040767940096185,0.0,0.0,0.05850692847078055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776637682909217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044542161264954,0.2378934658623229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921814720110247,0.0,0.0,0.04931905370021419,0.056343173111384814,0.25826292822471475,0.20975738405552488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529331463714442,0.12242341355292845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885234434402314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708503011617838,0.0,0.07023308756621756,0.05833146379611383,0.0,0.04653427272672132,0.04974558064456616,0.0,0.056980847877746814,0.0,0.0,0.20558790038152508,0.1189716159247326,0.0,0.049134480688673265,0.18044547865052696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04201987503926823,0.0,0.06045844003380265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319948311092402,0.07300974149700071,0.1473784050051943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711806741955703,0.09011466015819658,0.0,0.06307213945116111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03985572613865028
mentalhealth,CaseyJonesSlowDown,2019/01/26,"How do I actually find a good therapist? I'm willing to give it another shot. I Don't know what to look for though. My mom made to go to them growing up and they were such pieces of shit in my opinion (and how is a kid even supposed to know why they're there? Let alone open up). My problem is that I'm angry at the whole proffession. In Fact I already outright hate you if you're in the field. But I suppose thats not fair, and its not like young me really communicated ( which makes me even more angry that they thought they should prescribe me a bunch of meds.) and everyone here seems to think it's the only option in existence so I guess I have no choice. I need something. Any advice? Should I communicate this to said therapist? ",2.099213806327903,4.14934536912752,3.3701102588686465,89.85666107382549,78.53020134228187,6.673250239693192,24.065675934803448,7.7094869923839395,1.0928749760306802,576,20,124,9,14,187,100,149,0.173,0.7959999999999999,0.031,-0.9661,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,4,0,9,5,2,0,6,0,10,1,1,4,1,27,26,10,0,5,4,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,1,9,5,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,4,2,19,2,17,18,4,11,0,0,1,0,9,8,1,5,2,83,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.16303823575273774,0.0,0.0,0.16326088904745914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303627383522194,0.18436817908327155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361473386637673,0.17518962823779333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22069904748899846,0.0,0.0,0.15964451855584014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270084134477654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027074925467652,0.0949509051522871,0.14013212208434914,0.0,0.0,0.18404871631288613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649490759076662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18363687606640333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084250672487392,0.0,0.08162297219742994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029845706875124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580876282616779,0.1115219012348954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18557940136527454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19567278418589387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388181980329513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127065834570933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986540336306745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703064345467243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892379366189902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209613388573373,0.0,0.0,0.17149707461906752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862023862956554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3879670908661687,0.0,0.1070530336687403,0.16414745634423514,0.13263655808764535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15075655295665974,0.18652999494069866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imfuckingdone555,2019/01/26,"I am so damn done... I am so tired of the same thing happening over and over and over again. I’ve talked about this on my personal account but I just had to switch to a throwaway. 

I’m 15 years old and I’m male with professionally diagnosed GAD. I had an incident in eighth grade where some girls falsely accused me of sexually harassing them. 

It got me in trouble with teachers and causes me to lose friends. Luckily I convinced the teachers of my side. However that doesn’t change the face that those accusations are currently spreading from student to student across communities.

Now I’m in highschool. I legitimately just lost a friend from another damn city. because apparently “I’m a perv” due to something that didn’t even happen.

This incident made me lose trust in girls and women and I’m tired of it. I just wanna live my gosh damn life. ",3.4066537267080754,5.983436043478264,4.385306677018637,81.54454386645966,76.7639751552795,8.000155279503106,29.317158385093173,8.841846274778883,2.6483195652173914,677,31,127,16,16,219,99,161,0.221,0.669,0.111,-0.9621,3,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,10,12,4,0,7,0,8,5,1,2,0,17,18,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,5,9,8,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,0,7,0,15,4,24,11,2,17,0,3,0,0,9,11,3,1,6,81,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19167296467620096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142808262181443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877773589518384,0.1933693099843092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855296593544436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18705930404817875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073214938275742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28244872382362296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619516692292175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232840740574861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911113589554415,0.0,0.0,0.16140836048295495,0.0,0.0,0.4089941611791377,0.19953865988303227,0.0,0.0,0.17296186248204035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918090695504815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159606602983583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407219291659579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692099025917268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143863843976338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4201841838744658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771181833473116
mentalhealth,galexri,2019/01/27,"I realized as much as I hate living, hate breathing, hate being a disappointment ""I will not give up on myself""

I write every fucking day in my notepad

and repeat it

until my mind says it subconsciously

until im in a trance and thats all i can say under my breath

i hate how my life is going

ive lost friends once again

but i know everything happens for a reason

it just hurts to be alive

but i know thats something i have to deal with 

even if i am relying on weed

​

i will fight for the day 

for each day

to make it a nonZero day

i will...lose hope

i am real

and it hurts so much 

looking through memories

and having my mind twist them

but i will believe they are my friends

i will make sure that when the awkwardness and space closes in 

i will be there for them more than ever

and to every stranger on here

we can do this

we are real

i honestly dont fucking know what im saying

but im tired of always browsing through this subreddit and feeling ashamed and anxious to be there for strangers

i want to be there for everyone in the world

and i want everyone to be there for each other

and to be there for themselves

for their soul

yes im lonely as fuck

yes my religion chokes me

i feel like im undeserving of my family's love

i feel like im nott alive

​

i will give it my all

i will stay alive

i will fight to save my emotions

i will believe that i can beat my mind

i will not give up",2.0423489932885914,3.579037973154364,3.511820134228188,91.11539463087247,76.98657718120806,6.647194630872482,24.33610738255033,7.404127859558343,0.9161112483221472,1108,37,248,14,25,365,138,298,0.17,0.6629999999999999,0.16699999999999998,-0.0387,0,2,1,0,2,0,15.0,2,0,4,2,13,25,9,2,7,2,30,8,2,4,4,49,56,23,0,4,8,0,3,2,2,10,2,3,0,0,14,16,0,0,8,0,0,1,3,16,0,0,1,7,47,9,39,38,7,25,1,5,1,4,19,13,3,2,12,173,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390985050095645,0.16644141741479848,0.1866586230411705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867704192512238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307111524248403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981374919577608,0.07918498343461794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001761736828615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639790696015252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050730516311053464,0.06947662623752639,0.1294269744397384,0.14678538842304775,0.06902947459542746,0.0,0.07240711395228781,0.0,0.11650827978917877,0.10974234213896264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868230346453955,0.21302141356481288,0.0,0.22104176574630008,0.04365137500484687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792046723231518,0.0,0.0,0.30332534303281705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628700806570597,0.0,0.0,0.16444766817842751,0.0,0.4977905721001678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663389773436107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542512878216262,0.07504836236549313,0.0,0.06782227854041976,0.0,0.06449881180476515,0.0,0.08384427256231394,0.0,0.06932161303561622,0.0,0.10253897683756112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326605204578141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292444852252198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179729849360153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484711096627986,0.0,0.0789707262891463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324081213988896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913003420691267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818663930021924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238999845344989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827872568602915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060590511714137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866586230411705,0.0
mentalhealth,Carjascaps,2019/01/27,anxiety and panic attacks. should I postpone? I have to conduct a speech in school for our midterm exam hours from now and I started to have anxiety and panic attacks. should I postpone today and have it do another day?,2.7736585365853657,5.6879161219512175,4.0128780487804905,80.89736585365854,82.90243902439025,6.206829268292682,32.590243902439035,7.554174236665415,2.8421375609756088,175,10,28,3,5,57,27,41,0.416,0.584,0.0,-0.9514,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,2,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,6,7,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,5,0,5,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,23,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24761417348837494,0.36129406593008573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5372884035599366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522912530010154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325510789766499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5541205985732205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389870533094888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714164340474422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22383382667691634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,quyendoan,2019/01/27,"Is having thoughts of self harm enough for evaluation? I’m going through a lot and struggling really hard to return to baseline but I’m feeling very suicidal and I want to self-harm. However, I’m honestly too fucking scared and weak to go through with it. I’m terrified of cutting or hurting myself right now but I know that as time goes by, I will become numb enough again to possibly try. I’ve reached this point before in the past but have never gone through with harming. 

So, my question is, if I’m having these thoughts that I know I won’t follow through with at this time, should I wait until they go away? Should I try to get myself evaluated at a psychiatric facility? I’m leaning towards evaluation but I feel as if I’m overreacting...",3.906425287356321,5.83770726896552,4.991465517241379,80.79800287356323,72.86206896551724,8.14367816091954,31.393678160919546,8.841846274778883,2.7254712643678163,594,28,112,12,12,195,89,145,0.252,0.691,0.058,-0.9871,1,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,1,0,4,10,2,2,3,0,9,3,0,0,1,26,31,14,1,5,7,0,3,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,6,6,0,1,7,0,0,5,2,9,0,0,3,3,12,1,25,24,3,20,0,1,0,1,3,7,1,5,8,73,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555178426054418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18281130490813213,0.14085108365379415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420667884537304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739060974706232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530268250905333,0.08648090177955928,0.0,0.282218021861734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827946683932508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719982325084238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819383600440956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072493457253205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127664443993281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580140249855826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647629397189147,0.18660655438026896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542785709057005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604068290491918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135895114195848,0.0,0.0,0.16572116609669693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34536102761841697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304451235545235,0.0,0.18105941259361535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628195205371885,0.1930399732217687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247636131707176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657691480408102,0.09763197344227352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RedCyroVEVO,2019/01/27,"Fear over an image So I'm a 13 year old with a whole bunch of mental  crap (aspergers, ADHD, Depression, GAD (probably, anger issues, and insomnia) and I'm still afraid of that stupid Momo picture from last year, and I'm losing sleep over it, and it doesn't help that it shares a name with a character from an anime I watch... So please help I want to sleep well again",5.9598648648648656,5.245255662162165,6.295270270270272,82.87912162162164,66.70270270270271,10.102702702702704,26.60810810810811,9.516144504307137,1.881713513513514,285,6,61,5,4,92,50,74,0.282,0.618,0.1,-0.9456,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,3,2,6,0,1,4,3,0,0,8,5,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,1,2,2,9,5,2,8,0,2,1,0,4,2,1,0,6,34,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25952540181222683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18599417008286534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24299954356349165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894884098768506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22539175784725785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602499809669792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24158859266199595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176230071217576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265992406293129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23704411133647646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23282655813466546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322043643463277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245493694105982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737068047804584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941615934217121,0.0,0.0,0.24109625211259375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27812458201540513
mentalhealth,Crumly12,2019/01/27,"I feel paranoid at night and its affecting my sleep Honestly, beginning to write this is making me feel silly but I'm still a little worried. About 2 weeks ago I noticed myself becoming a little paranoid that someone or something was gonna come out of the dark and hurt me. This only really happens at night when I'm about to go to sleep. Sometimes, however, happens during the day, for example, I have a window door and I feel like there's gonna be someone outside it looking at me. But it mostly happens at night. I frequently can't close my eyes for very long because I just end up opening them for a second to make sure that there isn't anything there. I'm really afraid that I might become schizophrenic or something because of this because sometimes I think I see something out of the corner of my eye. But, I have had a history of having anxiety, and I've had to take pills before to help me. It was a while ago tho so I don't still have them and I don't remember what they were called. Can someone help me please, I might have to go to the doctor again because it's starting to effect my school work. ",4.589880418535127,5.412019677130051,5.500376681614351,82.10676831091183,69.71748878923765,8.278505231689088,30.56173393124066,8.447377352677275,2.2815586846038864,880,35,170,13,15,289,118,223,0.062,0.847,0.091,0.7422,1,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,2,12,6,0,1,10,0,19,7,4,4,1,30,41,14,0,0,6,0,3,1,0,4,3,0,2,0,12,10,0,0,6,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,5,7,26,4,26,31,1,32,0,1,4,0,7,12,0,5,18,116,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877086395792425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099626033072714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712844366612171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581686022333989,0.2338675190694784,0.090094246384035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811311587069417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912043869454691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828244987865276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837045905478124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377634296263347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060505655029916,0.07563915241510323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034563661634097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28088228151271394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419353731212927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133444210795662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05172656614417224,0.2122348282054875,0.0,0.09369855954674217,0.08891072236304297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134856512692134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246393200273112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980775507501273,0.0,0.0,0.12054262636053482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052487087458407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622207743329245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565611516130874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993895681667685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715402997664797,0.08437093306642153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190861404172825,0.0,0.2691298591465296,0.2445298095072648,0.20943178864342465,0.0,0.07494088244414145,0.0,0.16910836486857025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978861430560937,0.0,0.0796069615079366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784224683225577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736030915441788,0.0,0.0,0.08492881944915306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770803309277354,0.10752408931276654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rnourning,2019/01/27,"I’m happy for you. You got better. You said it was thanks to me. You smile, you laugh, you bullshit with your friends. I’m so happy for you.

But me. You said I need help. I need a professional. You’re right. But you also said you molested your soul for me knowing I’ve been molested and raped (twice). You even put the song miscarriage in a playlist that was dedicated to me knowing I’ve had one recently. You tore me to shreds when you found out I wasn’t perfect. I wanted to kill myself and asked me why that’s always my trump card. And two months later I’ve successfully shut up. 

Finally I’m quiet. I isolated myself to the point I can’t talk to others about my issue. Just thinking of telling others “you can get help, there’s still time” in a suicide note brings me to tears. No one can hear me and my muted screams. But it’s okay.

It’s okay. They couldn’t hear me when I’d force myself to vomit. They couldn’t hear me as I’d whittled away from starving and exercising on an empty stomach. They couldn’t hear me as I punched my head over and over until my head pounded. They couldn’t hear me as I ran sharp objects over my skin in an attempt to numb the pain in my mind.

“It’s in your head.” You told me once. You’re right. And it’s okay. It’s okay. You’re happy and I’m shrinking. I’m growing quieter and quieter. I’m seeing how much more I can vanish while I’m alive. How invisible my existence is while everyone gets better. You don’t need me. No one does. I sure don’t. I’m so happy for you.",-0.37489986061184055,1.8688893091482648,1.6907945125082549,96.07093756877704,92.81703470031543,4.5892157581982245,18.097645073729,6.270204493941655,-0.19134503704790573,1169,34,265,13,43,387,146,317,0.13,0.6890000000000001,0.181,0.9403,0,0,0,0,0,2,42.0,0,20,4,5,12,23,4,0,8,4,16,10,5,2,2,32,49,25,2,8,4,0,2,0,1,0,4,11,0,0,10,11,0,0,4,2,0,4,10,7,0,5,12,14,59,16,33,33,2,31,1,0,1,1,39,16,0,0,11,160,69,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469296386666968,0.0777173409330397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731758153476042,0.0,0.08775357008783845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521167069003412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173608297756302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061690659592393636,0.0,0.0,0.08924891848942704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023165285965362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240967435309042,0.07216159143522062,0.0,0.09759661976312006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747015299802422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977095654281176,0.0,0.0,0.2875699555327801,0.0,0.5263501114793727,0.0,0.12520980827373387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748666206892508,0.0,0.0,0.1033346694622683,0.0,0.10266179341428996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430865950681468,0.0,0.0745520046027649,0.0,0.06866068216955844,0.2077675802081282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946930691589877,0.18987335845294087,0.0,0.09938553921052744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882943924639237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389407645873336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922224885720911,0.0,0.0,0.15952835274407445,0.26653799644740395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442872147237753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459037686322133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021658324659702,0.0,0.08802959396477987,0.0,0.0,0.07507240485151544,0.08163682898548381,0.08599134285365077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984776403460031,0.0,0.0,0.0544630331030524,0.0,0.0,0.08924891848942704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912394714886996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509049045913618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842801207851662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thebestmeganever,2019/01/27,"7 ways to stop a panic attack in its tracks Check out my blog post!

https://www.not-scared.com/anxiety-help",9.358125,13.942438562500005,4.492500000000003,77.1025,69.625,5.7,14.25,7.1686216300943375,-0.17427500000000018,91,1,13,1,2,23,16,16,0.447,0.5529999999999999,0.0,-0.8356,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4910964789581941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28934492025253195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5064815713022527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134285632979781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3609024568645244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34264620687910835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blue_and_true,2019/01/27,"/r/MadStudies is a sub for scholarly discussion of mental illness and related published work /r/madstudies is a sub for scholarly discussion of recent publications on the subject of mental health, mental illness, critical psychiatry and psychology. Its intended as a hub to provide a regular feed to subscribers of published articles and relevant discussion. Open to all with an interest in this type of material and related academic issues.

Thanks to the mods of /r/mentalhealth for granting permission to post this notice.",9.702039215686273,12.132509576470593,10.342058823529412,46.147598039215715,59.11764705882352,16.019607843137255,49.46078431372549,14.06817628641468,9.194490196078432,434,30,49,22,6,147,53,85,0.08800000000000001,0.8190000000000001,0.093,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,8,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,18,3,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,35,3,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663587446920144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615442687162983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7575882649454344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852911919692471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23998990732960365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474211632739176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307037948092765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18242791078722675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eggcyclopedia,2019/01/27,i feel like im making my symptoms up i dont know if i really have any mental health issues or not because im too scared to go to a doctor and ask just to be told that theres nothing wrong with me. i have what i think are panic attacks around 4-5 times a week and hear voices of people close to me talking very loudly while i try to sleep. i feel like i think that i experience those things so that i can get attention and pity despite never openly talking about it to anyone. i dont know where to go from here and need help figuring out what to do.,5.545574229691873,4.003331302521012,6.6223109243697476,82.90920868347341,67.90756302521008,9.277871148459383,28.236694677871146,7.793537801064563,1.5160072829131646,431,10,97,4,6,146,81,119,0.1,0.81,0.09,-0.2607,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,8,7,1,2,2,0,8,4,1,1,1,24,22,8,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,8,9,0,0,8,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,1,5,14,2,15,20,0,12,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,2,6,62,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141872611768944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428052275416122,0.0,0.0,0.13276414056904445,0.13942358435285301,0.1696656237638319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091293613138618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526487192841416,0.0,0.0,0.3495764645258693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588525331230465,0.0,0.0,0.15081696867573716,0.21308795486539148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791827435508931,0.0,0.16951674341097706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852636354268348,0.16808898706788772,0.0,0.09996383293499668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221885399705353,0.15566097472401946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392432042124694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572225943756326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955054923394124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502956884248691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058368862939816,0.11502416103169708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310161150696987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498091597434898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339327849248944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554140686978196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931281960128476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924537009848587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550111373743445,0.0,0.2397424112398261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099080437539498,0.19112278719918466,0.0,0.0,0.08696337159696488,0.0,0.0,0.14250742973747976,0.0,0.10125468465117564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305419230481895,0.0,0.0,0.11962923874553184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305862428361864,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cocorubob,2019/01/27,"My anxiety worsens with potential relationships *mild rant* I've dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life. It's always been manageable up until about a year ago when my previous relationship started falling apart. We were together for three years, lived together for most of the time. Even though I know my ex loved me, I very rarely felt it since he wasn't very good at showing his emotions. 
Now that I'm starting to date again, and have been seeing someone that I really like, my anxiety is running a mile a minute. I constantly feel like I'm being a nuisance. That maybe this guy is going to drop me any second. I know he likes me, he is so sweet to me and will double text sometimes if I don't answer after a while (which I'm okay with). But at the same time he doesn't show his emotions a whole lot either. 
I just get scared. I feel like I'm getting my hopes up. He makes me happy. I don't want to lose that and it makes me sick to my stomach knowing it's a possibility. ",2.7742529411764707,4.556897590000002,4.161235294117649,86.18282352941179,75.6,7.505882352941178,25.264705882352942,8.313332769828598,1.5651588235294116,778,27,161,14,17,257,121,200,0.124,0.733,0.14300000000000002,0.7881,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,1,8,13,0,1,9,1,13,4,1,2,0,27,34,11,0,3,4,1,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,7,2,0,3,4,3,0,2,5,5,25,10,20,27,7,25,0,2,1,1,13,6,0,5,19,100,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656529101652192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941710301944657,0.0,0.0,0.08942333962882465,0.0,0.3017874726873862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210292499767213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325927582786108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29583573150064224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685337371197857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329789628399595,0.1878847949305487,0.12625897042851034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740484775684406,0.0,0.07473350287017723,0.11029451832184536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020397127285527,0.0,0.13998236419900392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060746277986965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21680404703727613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928811239892931,0.2569736693802163,0.0,0.11611539034909266,0.0,0.0,0.14711293929793182,0.0,0.1117951351838294,0.11868233168341892,0.0,0.1755522459245334,0.0,0.13210769677201822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824455265515368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842411653368426,0.0,0.0,0.2823598816007993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316527182825091,0.0,0.10478710397420063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087767360338811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114180658669406,0.0,0.13005516126510314,0.0,0.1861503187219798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919639238993294,0.0,0.15335540903085135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169997051324672,0.07756109251283645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681313348110894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936116188457506
mentalhealth,purinchi,2019/01/27,"Serious question. Why is there such a strong correlation between those who kill others and being “mentally ill”? As someone who suffers from what would be considered  “mental illness” I’ve never once wanted to inflict pain on to anyone else or understood why anyone would do something so terrifyingly inhumane. So why is is that when a horrific news story breaks out “illness” is suddenly to blame and becomes the heavily debated topic? If reasoning is there are varying degrees of “illness”, why should I be lumped into the same category as those who are completely desensitized?",10.910714285714283,10.828927826530617,10.717265306122444,53.13487755102042,56.44897959183674,13.962448979591839,47.15102040816326,13.023866798666859,6.901813877551023,469,27,61,15,5,155,73,98,0.262,0.71,0.028,-0.9784,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,1,0,4,0,14,6,0,1,1,16,16,9,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,11,9,1,7,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,3,3,50,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427527424089516,0.17786084156804755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917136847439511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18200312377343414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450100283387672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19204877856940103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3498706141259961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388133179750056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848649538218971,0.0,0.0,0.1847092704913766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445765542165114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17847679492577234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470800710216722,0.133636088776247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238636711689056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6265426439626011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466230678188485,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Salvol18,2019/01/27,"Toxic ex My ex boyfriend has reached out to me saying he just wanted me to know that he misses me. 

I replied to him to ensure he was doing fine and we talked for a few days. Then he got wired. He  texted me at 3 a.m.. saying "" you don't really  care"" . Then he called me twice. I am worried about him. He is stuck on the old time and associates happiness to the time we dated. Its. Ot healthy. He told me he misses our tones because his life is all ""weathered "" now.  

I feel guilty for replying to him as I know we are probably better of not communicating. When he and I  broke up he threaten to kill himself and this was when we were in college. He saw a therapist for a few weeks post out break up, but I really think he needs to seek help now.  Shoukd I tell him ? Would that make him upset and make everything worse?

I am lost. I still talk to his mom and feel I can tell her but she knows about his mental health. Sadly , I dont think she ever thought it was a real issue.  Ever since he was younger .. I think his parents just treated it as him being rebellious and stubborn ",1.1896818181818176,3.2364560590909086,2.7381818181818183,93.24227272727272,81.5909090909091,5.8181818181818175,20.454545454545453,6.980632752743323,0.3124545454545453,823,23,183,10,22,269,129,220,0.161,0.778,0.061,-0.9692,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,5,1,0,2,11,13,2,1,6,0,17,2,0,2,3,37,38,15,1,3,5,4,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,6,13,0,1,9,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,11,5,39,5,24,25,3,24,0,5,1,0,47,7,0,0,15,117,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351556263021953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116773780266063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989505496077792,0.0,0.139683363871543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835539519604227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056612160764785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24785353675166155,0.0,0.0,0.1231291755596538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854534381042802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957355930484608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584190131403085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562744320408372,0.0,0.0,0.0918300090778536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299520438826518,0.0,0.0,0.15157316771912535,0.0,0.22587927138837335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967690451314662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955461006334328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18290070661461552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806647891735768,0.0,0.0,0.16045588398582114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158575189192257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376126721533752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521252639042283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121069721065914,0.0,0.14771206181392246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15593904450557275,0.17553485100692676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790006138585968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333003334164687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941051789641676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22023513058783728,0.2394927633923004,0.0,0.0,0.159070671941781,0.0,0.26335735787910225,0.0,0.1087648252429992,0.15977472989422056,0.0,0.0,0.13091193266832873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080773077946059,0.0,0.10989528669956523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913287266651128,0.13961743624755607,0.0973227736733638,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rational_bones96,2019/01/27,I woke up today and it’s like someone turned the lights off. Yesterday my mother forced me to talk about my childhood trauma (caused by her) and this morning I woke up and it’s like all the lights switched off in my brain. I feel numb and the voices in my head keep telling me to do things that I don’t want to do. This hasn’t happened to me in years. I’m off my meds because of insurance reasons and I don’t really know what to do. My husband has been supportive but I can see him watching me. Waiting for me to do something. I don’t know what to do. ,1.6734745762711896,3.1682043135593254,3.0120000000000005,94.4851186440678,77.89830508474577,6.07593220338983,24.51186440677966,6.742157984588678,0.6314345762711873,431,15,100,4,10,140,66,118,0.051,0.8909999999999999,0.057,-0.09,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,0,12,3,2,2,1,15,25,6,0,1,1,2,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,6,20,3,19,22,1,12,0,0,2,0,6,8,0,0,6,69,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231624126208342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606207530342937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398297385305177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804537953461995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064496363807452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395993202952496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20751171313012148,0.0,0.0,0.2566091705593839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22811543784485136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593236025210434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956170693847595,0.24003777346456096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18603895224923772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978115574281507,0.17973041939543852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649298606471709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18764787658739807,0.2040560395095077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510174957770326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212946359870324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539395674828629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770191024600614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034184510184254
mentalhealth,Mistelae,2019/01/27,"a rant because i have no one to talk to i just don’t know who i am or where im going. hell i don’t even know what mental illness i have. i know i have one, i don’t behave like normal people. what even are normal people, how do they act? why do i feel things so much stronger than they do? why do i let things affect me so hard? why do i wanna stay in bed and never leave for days? why can’t i force myself to take a shower? why can’t i go in public without the fear of potential dialogue? why do i lie about everything? i don’t wanna be like this, i don’t know why im like this. i can’t fix it. im too fucking crazy for anyone to stay around me for longer than a month. why don’t my dad and stepmom understand? why don’t they understand i can’t change? don’t they get that i can’t be everything they want? why does my dad blame me for everything that goes wrong? why does my stepmom hold me at such a high standard? i can’t live up to their expectations. i can barely leave the house. i wish they’d understand. stop telling me to “get over it” or “think happy, you’ll be happy”. that’s not how it works THATS NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS. why do i push people away? even if i want them to stay my mind doesn’t let me. why can’t i do my schoolwork. it’s like i try so hard but it’s still not enough. i guess what im trying to say is, im just not good enough. not worth it. i can’t even kill myself because im too much of a wimp. i guess ill just stick to my ways, in the hopes that one day none of it will matter. ",-1.1521470588235267,0.7271266088235286,1.26029411764706,101.16632352941177,90.26470588235294,4.458823529411765,14.382352941176471,5.838893488441508,-1.0639470588235294,1157,20,300,9,40,390,143,340,0.12,0.795,0.085,-0.9416,1,0,0,0,0,1,37.0,0,1,8,2,21,14,3,1,8,0,40,3,0,4,1,46,61,12,1,10,13,2,3,4,0,2,2,1,2,0,21,3,0,2,9,0,1,4,26,6,0,3,0,4,52,8,31,53,5,24,1,0,0,1,16,10,2,6,10,189,73,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03912105382234165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04022495745562227,0.0,0.0,0.05121217045115898,0.0,0.0,0.054049506493941364,0.0,0.0,0.07013714337953461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608570599998642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742016796157932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068638673647247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888372931457207,0.0,0.15198696544958934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510753388566306,0.0,0.0,0.06473506175096166,0.029087915884682125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318376488453546,0.06011207439644144,0.0,0.06538904496861174,0.048251807699064266,0.0,0.0,0.1267472886972125,0.0,0.0,0.12247938014255624,0.1030676849881896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607815543674891,0.0,0.057138344443621876,0.0,0.0663796578857245,0.0,0.0,0.3728410628576374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364627538867723,0.0,0.12646367012239262,0.0,0.0,0.1218278192254318,0.0,0.11765267889617427,0.0,0.11242121791107396,0.0,0.05079833133390177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579747541821042,0.0,0.058086941640621774,0.0,0.045918348995717104,0.0,0.0845794873778315,0.0,0.0443691867059041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273056974032265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169475077818053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196481409580889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045748622671373314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839517742400098,0.04594198338163042,0.04809603446619362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043253941997513166,0.046238875859708345,0.050282060478895496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643817425247246,0.036861658250463517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781155535991684,0.0,0.0,0.17966621927086246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786308109960656,0.045663096668677815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6748316462186993,0.0,0.06615443041284322,0.055454997373217116,0.0,0.08376222631647598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289790318795774,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ptolemy222,2019/01/27,"I live in an empty town. I have few friends. I want to move, but I can't seem to land a job. I honestly feel like I'm going crazy and I'm getting super anxious over everything and I feel like crying. I have been living in a new city for the last year for my job. 

I am typically a bit more introverted so making friends is hard. I also haven't been super great at relationships but I was trying a lot before I moved here with a bit of success. Since I have been here it's been super rough.

​

I'm starting to feel stuck and stressed and I am starting to have weird thoughts. I feel super stressed and I just want out. i am not sure what to do. ",0.8027018633540379,2.7996491666666685,2.7050103519668727,93.22565217391306,82.69565217391305,5.392132505175984,21.45134575569358,6.5431188927421005,0.2529693581780545,507,16,115,5,14,169,79,138,0.185,0.536,0.279,0.9655,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,5,15,0,2,7,0,16,0,0,1,1,22,33,9,0,2,4,0,6,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,7,6,17,12,14,26,5,15,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,7,72,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914604210264928,0.0,0.14788013560723673,0.16584275065861193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541878405612146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613765762521065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29800991179951625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14992104077959234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226628350397658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760412319192817,0.19500810182264944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108940839740154,0.0,0.07130715008683125,0.0,0.07756688636064407,0.0,0.0,0.15047386657779033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226267278825033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27087821485332625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125250973648623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333581770221504,0.0,0.2410353841857469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603364238848468,0.0,0.0,0.09110399343677808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901213504961925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181690036127353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465325189358555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242497216228364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290080617897608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19320786613452684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31268345366340417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863436221797073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083528883895378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266353824152107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100335774174904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584275065861193,0.08789108962701779
mentalhealth,MakutaTobi,2019/01/27,"What kind of things should I be expecting from my friend, and how should I support him? My best friend is a 21 year old trans man. 2 years ago, he had to have an abortion after an accidental pregnancy. Afterwards, he became depressed and began having anxiety and panic attacks around babies and broke down at the thought of ending a life, especially since he felt it was hurting his boyfriend. The procedure was necessary because he had a major ovarian cyst that could have killed him.

He was just coming to terms with his decision when he found out he was pregnant again. He decided he wanted to start a family and confirmed with doctors that the cyst had changed and was no longer life threatening (he hadn't checked it in a while and it's possible it wasn't deadly the first time). He was about 25 weeks along, had a name and lots of baby stuff, but had to rush to the hospital the other day, and his baby was stillborn.

I visited him the same day, and he seemed more numb, but he has major depression and probably some undiagnosed mental disorders. What should I expect to see from him in the next few days, and how should I help?",7.195,7.054837388888894,7.0540740740740775,76.54833333333333,64.0,10.903703703703703,33.27777777777778,10.504223727775694,3.349322222222221,900,33,169,20,12,286,130,216,0.125,0.821,0.054000000000000006,-0.9153,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,7,13,2,1,16,0,25,6,0,2,0,41,35,18,2,8,3,0,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,1,11,18,0,0,6,0,1,3,3,8,0,1,18,2,14,5,22,11,9,29,0,4,1,0,26,6,0,3,20,116,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301363758310451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123076678722495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069018657433085,0.0,0.16701521909384814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949275409840134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406586966832642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530332840184288,0.12646203609573387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721418963036495,0.0,0.0,0.2840369174266448,0.0,0.2528909173039754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16825461149642276,0.15026414149234985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002825484433145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839745484179228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409586394409338,0.0,0.0,0.1248747538783903,0.0,0.16096732237339484,0.2268468916614584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840226375107536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716092997132125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242122784544516,0.15287787211049275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20738957117805007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481085580014728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794786813197244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561319035773376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540502312454211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224747930893464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16550388757234602,0.0,0.0,0.158283783392701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698691631199655,0.13364842962315968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144104028508022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039114114802783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805996122868344,0.0,0.1665959040371153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975326681768353,0.0,0.0,0.11654910119117448,0.08560488706082242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659112328460014,0.0,0.11776046953934838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18907899274295625
mentalhealth,stonercatmom314,2019/01/27,"How long is too long for medication? On my phone so sorry if post isn't the best to read. 

Starting this out I've had issues with anxiety and depression my whole life. General Anxiety disorder, depression and borderline personality disorder are my diagnosi. 
I've been on anti depressants and anti anxiety medication. A few different ones to start. Now been on daily medications since March of 2015. The meds I've been on have been the same for about the last two years with no changes other than not taking any in the morning due to the drowsiness side effects making it hard to function and only taking meds at night. I see my doctors every 3 months to refill prescriptions and to check in. At the last check mid December '18 they said I was doing well and wanted to keep me on meds as I was stable at the check up and they assured me there was no addictive properties in my medication. I believed that until I accidentally missed a dose of my meds the night before Christmas eve. Then I barely slept that night, woke up extremely tired and anxious, and then sent my sister to get my meds for me to take that night. Well by about dinner time I had shakes and chills and felt like complete shit, I didn't realise it felt like withdrawls until I went and smoked a joint and came back in and was still not well. Ended up taking my meds and going to bed early that night while the rest of my family had the Christmas party. 
I know if I get off medication it's not a cold Turkey thing like if I missed a dose. But how long is too long to be on such things?
I've heard of people being on medication for many years at a time but I've also been told that it's a crutch and not to be dependent on it and it's just a bandaid to assist during therapy/counseling. Idk I guess I'm looking for opinions since I work full time and haven't been in therapy/counseling in about a year and a half at this point. Maybe this is a vent post. 

Idk if anyone has any thoughts please share..
Thanks ",4.65724395313681,5.665700992346945,5.514569160997733,81.38492819349962,69.68877551020408,8.970672713529854,27.01851851851852,9.250403328903447,2.1013228269085413,1567,49,312,31,27,513,193,392,0.105,0.8370000000000001,0.058,-0.8439,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,3,18,17,1,1,22,0,26,16,2,5,1,50,57,35,0,5,11,1,3,3,0,0,13,2,1,1,17,23,1,1,5,1,3,5,9,7,3,3,25,8,29,10,56,29,6,68,0,5,2,0,10,28,1,7,36,208,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364739573838112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054025524125727226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188251998943793,0.0,0.15504337909351895,0.07632048528428945,0.0,0.04723761371913466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05194737029406827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057486260638158024,0.07611390850697812,0.07089718653799748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772675190095904,0.0,0.0,0.07146663350799844,0.0,0.07083251188982907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745609320526026,0.0,0.0,0.07058296794504293,0.15485296779644314,0.06914772812622061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983568884370534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691991339536397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368698137638089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297311465037702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705917701299669,0.0,0.038394353195999216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442194898567539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060518044000032335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051223757759498,0.0,0.06004800532772561,0.0,0.0,0.03712770862055123,0.11013638301540114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04771769745466313,0.09901520849419296,0.0,0.0,0.2391442309229848,0.0567310917669711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04509500207748969,0.06849246788523372,0.06787035767058787,0.0,0.4502453812626234,0.4083410506804354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05392356809508388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169896055249472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577855430596836,0.051380347810652725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046835704516913115,0.05898840204689106,0.0,0.07415759500067652,0.06386345625193122,0.0,0.1294023795276191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757555159959526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426243388956338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05383439723627411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934656646447471,0.11176814313248053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562483237019384,0.09563476633732916,0.0,0.05395132280417198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20317863666232933,0.0,0.0,0.0621976572818348,0.0,0.0,0.08976409615144343,0.0,0.0,0.053632925876284376,0.11817956162999013,0.07764714337877755,0.0,0.06455386624706165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599363598598516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03984702798393466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222629613289648,0.06262626578637066,0.0,0.07542527894720785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918249690329247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051400009397995
mentalhealth,GentlePenguin89,2019/01/27,"im lost, and i've got no hope of finding direction anymore i've made a [post on r/teenagers before](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/ai5hlt/this_title_is_a_cry_for_help/) which is i guess what im expanding upon, or using to help make this post easier to create. i apologize for this long post, but i don't have many options left without wearing down someone elses day in an attempt to vent my problems out, that'd just make me feel worse. doing so makes me feel worse, even when it's nothing near the size of this.

i'm a junior in highschool, united states to start off with, and i hate to self diagnose myself, i dont wish to self diagnose myself with anything, but i know something is wrong, if there wasn't and i was just having a rough period i wouldn't be making this post otherwise. 

i've always had a huge problem with being really dark and sad since i was about 11-12, it's how i've spent my teenage years thus far and i doubt that's subject to change, i doubt it ever will be in all honesty. it's only been recently when the anger has been lingering too, it's a horrid combination that ruins every waking moment i get to experience in life. 

i honestly don't know what im seeking anymore, understanding or help, i just feel like i've been blinded from it all.

i've made mistakes and i usually bully myself to hell and back for them, but i do know my last relationship fueled a lot of my sadness and anger, i don't plan to date again until college or even later, i can't bring myself to attach to anyone anymore. my last relationship was abusive, emotionally and verbally. my ex threatened suicide multiple times and harassed me to high hell for a month after our relationship.

she picked me up when i was going through a horrible time, and what i'd say was ""the first true wave"", and she quickly used my feelings to get in a relationship with me. 

she took my confidence, sense of self and my own self control away from me, i woke up at 8 AM for her, i did everything in my power to make sure she was happy because the lord wouldn't be able to extend a hand of mercy to me if she weren't. 

every argument ended up in me apologizing, even if she was in the wrong, i went from a slightly stubborn typical 13 year old guy to a husk of my former self, which i still am now. 

she's gone and im free, yet i abuse myself like she had abused me, sometimes i feel like she's still in my head when i start thinking about how much of a horrible person i am, how much i hate myself and everything i stand for, etc. and without rhyme or reason either, i don't need a reason most of the time anymore, i'm guilty for the crime of being born, it feels like.

i had made some progress of getting back on my feet, and i used to have hope of getting better when i was 14-15, until that was taken from me from my ex friends when they ditched me and replaced me. i can't blame them, i don't know what i did wrong. i still pretended to be happy and at times i actually was, on the surface i was still ""me"", and nobody gave me any indication that the mask i wore had any cracks. 

i've never wanted to hurt anyone, or make anyone mad. maybe when im angry and i can't control my words but even then, i mostly keep that to myself, the last outburst i must've had like that was back when i was still a single digit age, i've got no memory otherwise. i can't tell why my friends decided to leave me and replace me, nearly 2 years gone in the span of a month and 2 weeks.

i spent august 2018 - november 2018 alone and socially isolated. life became a specially crafted hell for me, and i couldn't escape it. i've had suicidal thoughts and urges since i was 14, but now everything was real, if that makes sense. it was a hell i couldn't escape from, because i had no way to escape myself and my own abuse. 

i've lost interest in nearly all of my hobbies. i can't write, i don't like playing the games i used to like nor am i into modding or random tech related bullshit, i couldn't code because im more into hardware but i still enjoyed looking and talking about it at least. not anymore, though.

i have a new friend, i acknowledge progress when it happens and i have my moments where i'll crack and be myself again, she thinks im the funniest person she's met

i'm inclined to disagree obviously, though. but, there's really only one other reason why i still experience small bursts of happiness, and it's fucking rdr2 and i hate that, it shouldn't be a video game but nothing else can make me take my mind off of the world and let me properly escape myself like that game can, that's why i enjoy it. 

i want to get help, it'd be dumb if i didn't. i've TRIED to get help from my parents, i got grounded for feeling the way i do, my mom yelled at me and made me feel like a horrible son to her and my father, i won't make the mistake of trying to get help again, and it's the only thing i won't let anyone convince me otherwise. 

i dont know where, how or when i'll be able to get help, but i have a gut feeling im not making it far past my early/mid twenties.

i don't know what's wrong with me now, and it's getting worse every day. it used to be overwhelming sadness, but now it's anger too, im furious and i can't explain it. when im frustrated i'll have a few minutes where i'll just start punching my head in the temples, usually my right one because that's my dominant arm. it's a habit and i only know i do it when i start doing it. i feel like im going to snap and yell at someone any moment, and sometimes i mentally yell at myself and imagine beating myself up.

it's a special type of anger that i haven't felt before, and in result it's vague and i can't figure out how to explain it. 

im sad and angry, nearly 24/7. i have been for the last two weeks. i haven't hurt anyone else, but i dont know why people just seem to hate me, or if it's my own hatred. i dont know why i've been left, or why what has happened to me, has happened, if anything i've got horrid luck in life, that's likely what i can chalk it up to.

i want to know what's wrong and how i can fix it, but i can't. not right now, and because of that it feels like i've died and gone to hell, and im just catching onto that.

i believed that the lord will see me right but now i question my beliefs, and i wonder if he's merely observing my pain, and letting it happen to me.",4.147379518072288,4.293169882530119,5.4355421686747025,84.59018072289156,70.43072289156626,8.297590361445781,27.97289156626507,8.106197680908142,1.636329518072289,4956,159,1070,63,83,1664,443,1328,0.214,0.657,0.129,-0.9993,2,1,1,0,3,1,154.0,1,0,3,12,63,75,20,3,46,0,106,16,8,33,8,213,213,106,3,25,42,6,14,12,3,7,7,4,0,8,65,60,0,4,40,6,3,9,42,42,0,4,57,21,176,34,130,130,18,155,8,10,3,1,60,59,7,32,91,693,241,5,0.06351554495178012,0.15051106925817734,0.03099100482271408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032891474641964714,0.0,0.0,0.02642501076205072,0.0,0.0,0.0647891229120798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574758836402806,0.1110288646006579,0.03253959086147011,0.052267881620151294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029837472643041527,0.07325930023096011,0.0,0.09679621668157724,0.0,0.027023525306515413,0.03578013441616732,0.0,0.028087168986918782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03359551234913547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123808449983125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04096227198396599,0.0,0.0,0.06446694113433901,0.03295955392432121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887949128878192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958863150574487,0.03572321955606077,0.02812796020737077,0.0,0.035418311098646675,0.0839028368225593,0.02872672337122952,0.08027187903729882,0.0,0.08562551444501873,0.062130390640367995,0.0,0.0,0.17663452375916552,0.13612655401367307,0.030492441860628088,0.0,0.029026028702405175,0.0270131450445265,0.0,0.0,0.0736079287089357,0.02935954891603235,0.14932912828438266,0.0,0.03609734791240445,0.0,0.10159836710678606,0.0,0.03498476678512028,0.03144518770100723,0.1123331732751014,0.10142021800189382,0.0,0.12541690195199193,0.06518527335568862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771939279285566,0.0335538302434785,0.0,0.06308526755545334,0.0,0.0,0.06799470453062724,0.0,0.4459499711560295,0.0,0.0,0.028227767358074588,0.0,0.0,0.17453241215248147,0.10354729288511724,0.0,0.033626895591615594,0.06900982543408545,0.0974234220345375,0.06729436166589667,0.18618292181604387,0.0,0.0,0.028104629282343592,0.02666853048036618,0.0,0.06933472031083228,0.026999322490310892,0.0,0.1201998887500062,0.21198559730801367,0.03219739671106245,0.031904950986774636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03200436514789445,0.0,0.03206629707737073,0.037194319298055216,0.05069750200686556,0.0,0.04669123373182712,0.023547985889598583,0.0244935519379777,0.03067185455242072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060944878404953315,0.0,0.033324439981102856,0.0,0.043039777054549616,0.09661286811180053,0.03379250900379053,0.0,0.03526324805548902,0.0,0.030316387295095008,0.02201684075831436,0.055459323943118234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166066949105965,0.0,0.0,0.060775798557140125,0.0,0.0,0.03557597328066394,0.0,0.0,0.03614729773877561,0.04068968450459015,0.09795683806425533,0.03135696903372285,0.1363838504981509,0.0,0.08136289251866803,0.0,0.025255055336480123,0.0,0.0,0.025306832970621126,0.028911083323531293,0.1656514140258632,0.0,0.0,0.05254071513564365,0.0,0.0,0.03237304968857736,0.05381651512190936,0.024448684796324328,0.06281849804558963,0.0,0.08991325925917147,0.0,0.17753258685703022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947569718714876,0.0,0.029931324720727057,0.0,0.023877892598319503,0.025525694553079632,0.0277576929244114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02109845289149721,0.04069819655980168,0.06240370042908805,0.025212123968247662,0.07407285007973033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035284053740704764,0.043122885752388825,0.0,0.03102272912412172,0.03306096114540208,0.0,0.13714259428263625,0.06995339935578503,0.0,0.056194671065377684,0.05041568317745733,0.05094833896170669,0.0,0.0,0.0294397732526576,0.17193870032381547,0.0,0.03651987105341036,0.061226718776008826,0.03443994955422757,0.0,0.0,0.09709164988601507,0.0,0.17361069391870698,0.0,0.06135289276500822
mentalhealth,LearningHowToHuman_,2019/01/27,"Some of my history with mental health and the problems I'm facing now. I did also post this to /r/offmychest but I didn't know about this subreddit and I figured it would be more fitting here. So sorry if you've already read or seen this. I did change the title though because it doesn't cover all my history. Also sorry for formatting I'm new here.

Life was good from age 0 to 5.I was a stubborn kid,who had my own strong opinions already and was very self assured. I was curious about people and the world.That all changed around age six when my father left for the second time. It completely destroyed who I was,it was a confusing and hurtful experience.I thought him leaving was my fault which caused my self esteem to plummet.The world suddenly became this huge scary place where I couldn't trust anyone. I was truly terrified that my own mother would even leave me,I'd scream and cry while clinging to her leg whenever she dropped me off at daycare. The workers would then pry me off of her leg and scold me for my reactions.Telling me how much I was overreacting and how she would be back for me..but dad said that he come back and he never did..That was the year I was diagnosed with separation anxiety.

I ended up turning to food for relief from all of these huge emotions that I didn't understand how to handle at such a young age. It was all so overwhelming and I was extremely uncomfortable with these feelings. So as you would expect,I gained a lot of weight and that was the that I noticed my classmates starting to reject me and treat me as an outcast due to my size.I was facing rejection not only from my own father but now my peers. It was all too much and I ended up failing the first grade.Things got better after around 3 years of therapy.

From the 4th to the 6th grade I had made friends with the misfit kids and I was actually doing very well. Life seemed to be getting back to normal and I felt stable for the first time in a long time.That sadly didn't last for long and my mother ended up losing her job.I was suddenly ripped away from my friends and everything I knew.We ended up bouncing from couches to homeless shelters until we ended up moving in with my grandma and uncle. It was a snug fit with all three women sharing one bed room.

I started online school in the 6th grade and this is when my isolation began.I had no friends near my age and I hardly ever left the house.The longest I went without seeing the outside world was 4 months,I clearly remember how much the sun hurt my eyes when I first stepped outside again. It was blinding but gorgeous. I thought to myself that I should do this more often but of course I didn't. I spent nearly every waking hour in a dark room with a laptop,watching and reading useless information just to fill the day.I was diagnosed with agoraphobia,anxiety and depression at age 13.I spent years in therapy and eventually became more comfortable with going outside again,but I had no friends or a car so I had no reason to go out.

I'm 20 now,I've just recently gotten out of that dark room and I'm so far behind in life that I don't even know where to start. I'm just going to list my issues now.

1.I have no idea how to talk to people and I don't understand most social cues.I have no idea how to make friends or how to have a social life. I would really like to though.

2.I get over stimulated extremely easily due to lack of outside stimulation for years.All I did was stare at a screen and sit which isn't much stimulation at all so my body isn't used to it.

3.I have very slow reflexes and poor hand-eye coordination.

4. My short term memory is complete shit and I forget things extremely easily.I write things down to remember but sometimes I forget to even write it down.

5.All I did was watch videos and look at memes.I didn't take much time for self reflection and forming my own opinions. I hardly even have any options on anything or know much about myself.

6.I'd pretty much describe myself like a baby veal expect the chain was my mental health.I laid in bed all day and now I'm all squishy. Just extremely out of shape over all.I would like to fix this but most exercises are too much. I've started by lifting 2 pound weights and doing little physical therapy exercises I've seen my grandmother do to make my legs stronger. I'm embarrassed that I can't do more but its a start.

7. I didn't do very well in online school so I ended up failing and dropping out in the 9th grade after repeating several years.I'm fixing this by starting a G.e.d course.

So basically I'm starting from the beginning,its like I'm a kid seeing a lot of these things for the first time. I'm scared that I'll never catch up to my peers but I'm also excited to explore. This is going to be a long journey.. any advice you can give would be great. Thank you for reading.",2.9336393182146447,4.968886491718429,4.059848813134963,85.96190379893112,75.90476190476191,7.060311040493042,25.000674081563872,7.97965635744439,1.4580630169964857,3845,133,760,62,86,1250,388,966,0.13,0.743,0.127,0.0894,1,1,1,0,0,0,88.0,1,3,0,11,55,44,3,4,39,0,76,22,9,16,14,146,130,74,0,15,19,5,6,4,5,9,10,2,6,6,38,50,3,1,19,6,3,13,22,20,2,8,51,18,85,24,118,64,33,137,0,11,10,0,38,56,1,16,68,502,123,11,0.0,0.0,0.04830962909428855,0.0,0.0,0.048375603177208126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925974888258876,0.11876712209228794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733004227370384,0.0,0.07574220696765474,0.0,0.0,0.03461496842907481,0.0,0.040738304373452015,0.08813969115104653,0.0,0.0,0.04651147146541865,0.11419860834169834,0.0,0.030177719969828706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04378305007626467,0.0,0.054988770002965225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05085515627470029,0.1047392138527756,0.04264407717204895,0.1038098654769818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437879441603844,0.06385311408019914,0.0,0.04263848711662795,0.10049283761075888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055686335331156064,0.26307981930312635,0.0,0.0,0.13079004537102584,0.04478000500781413,0.041710002898984085,0.0,0.044491800846835065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025031158606610874,0.0,0.047532455462252224,0.0,0.0,0.16843532828142838,0.0598615065436986,0.0,0.19123676663974326,0.0,0.05172852102415798,0.047489599083367966,0.11253907376747198,0.04152235094323136,0.03959358094059663,0.05457931330432636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869331100871937,0.0,0.0,0.10524276105025676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875234224801611,0.0,0.1059920120383716,0.11176998460296042,0.0,0.05167024084078956,0.049125962175476066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816197746176802,0.040353090692071915,0.0,0.10483705597262062,0.10757441037016052,0.0,0.1398670644730075,0.09674234989665736,0.049616902737379655,0.0,0.13143080299229826,0.04157163742725623,0.05538330632166285,0.0,0.08417457018676774,0.0,0.04684272158893982,0.06608979371830828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977856597665184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052615860963538014,0.2911343077054527,0.0,0.07636244233411521,0.04781212889152281,0.0,0.0,0.048504278927552685,0.0,0.05636164260512555,0.0,0.0,0.0335457930083351,0.03765069776630554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864091157719569,0.0,0.05172207092371341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047411997869202985,0.05036426797853772,0.0,0.04736949161539815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855485286187034,0.0,0.031714098617087384,0.05089926944075797,0.048880104152995256,0.0,0.11215877441253944,0.0,0.04709048457631304,0.0,0.049563028646673835,0.10020317830440123,0.07889797193447383,0.045067390362580416,0.1549331830248099,0.0559264319386484,0.050816055677685136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092799714321636,0.0,0.0,0.048961599635170425,0.11083333720085678,0.2452786995147632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03722151448708822,0.03979015341024315,0.0,0.045577449275364605,0.16983945996143965,0.0,0.0986665427096294,0.0,0.09727660135855908,0.07860270194870049,0.14433349022479466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384710198075583,0.0,0.10307266767061772,0.0,0.04275632817150092,0.0,0.16338686723841292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056723271146605,0.08902167843182633,0.04589152673789596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047720945023399575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813348140734732,0.0,0.0,0.09563857352462687
mentalhealth,Randothebando,2019/01/27,"What’s happening to me? I feel like I’m in a bubble.
It’s like some things can get through the bubble, but mostly it’s like I’m isolated from everyone else, like I can’t relate to them. Along with the bubble, I’m tired all the time, but at night I’m really energetic and anxious, so I can’t sleep, even with meds. I’m sad a lot, but I physically can’t cry, no matter how bad I feel. 

I’m slowly starting to lose my memory too. 
Some events really stand out to me, but the rest is like when someone passes out in a movie. Blurry and echoey, with voices bouncing around and no focus whatsoever. Ive always had a shitty memory, but in the past 3 weeks it’s gotten significant worse, to the point where I can’t remember most of yesterday, and everything blends together. 

I also feel numb and distant a lot, and heavy, like I’ve had too much laughing gas or something. It used to be because of dysphoria, but now I’m just feeling really shitty, along with dysphoria. 

I feel like there’s multiple versions of me dancing inside my head, and I don’t know which one will come out to play. I can’t control my emotions very well anymore. 

I’m starting to get scared as it gets worse. 
 what’s going on with me?",3.4273514739229043,4.560865587755104,5.1305782312925166,82.52176303854877,72.71428571428572,8.546485260770973,25.856009070294785,8.998388855275968,1.9135941043083893,939,30,193,19,18,320,133,245,0.214,0.642,0.14400000000000002,-0.9758,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,13,15,0,1,11,0,13,4,2,3,1,45,37,19,0,0,8,0,5,7,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,19,0,1,7,2,0,4,8,5,1,1,3,6,19,10,30,32,10,26,0,2,0,0,1,11,0,7,17,119,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820069891819368,0.10217692273279344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387256323372514,0.12178160561507845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093153448654861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025303473727046,0.07485589801086391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577872333462524,0.0,0.0,0.13772725243360676,0.0,0.0,0.1348867141994298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258111813083162,0.13813007219615492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110624582405576,0.0,0.0,0.1173377748003054,0.11036200580561152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310449208492814,0.17545237119715615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19246905819468269,0.0,0.06978835243846615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085889620766307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126025126327391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748600767452709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199468050522854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373784080992107,0.0,0.20879519881914915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639975992885398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026990801016163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523664533049385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832104102840125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11722361024113245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608283567367825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360006654539165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910503820107192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294119705512005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288566048004895,0.0,0.10404548094369076,0.09453511295972647,0.0,0.0,0.17383266608109846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158085573883389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716039053621093,0.14113706201262166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605716217543214,0.0,0.10132036716608367,0.0,0.0,0.09850032872891973,0.0,0.1104092305202496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25028122278382786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leavethecityy,2019/01/27,"I can’t get over my abuse and i feel so alone I wrote a whole paragraph but it all seems so unnecessary and like I’m pandering for sympathy. 
My friends all have worse lives than me or don’t want to hear it. I just feel alone and pathetic and stupid and weak and hopeless. I just really need a hug but I have nobody to give me one, and my friend just screamed at me because I don’t know what it feels like to be out of control. I haven’t experienced what he has but I’ve been through my own shit and have nobody to talk to about it. 

Idk how to get over this fucking abuse man. I feel like damaged goods and I’ve turned down so many really nice people because I’m terrified that they’re going to do the same thing. I can’t be touched and I’ve gone from an open book to feeling like I can’t talk to anyone. It wasn’t even that bad from an outside perspective but I’m so fucking ruined. Ive lost control of my whole life, everything is spiraling and i feel like I’m a 12 year old girl with bleeding wrists and a plan to drown herself all over again. I really don’t want to go back to that place but I’m already here.

I’m so sensitive now and people think I’m dramatic/attention seeking bc I’ve started crying at everything. I don’t know what to do :( ",1.7501905227161707,3.342064146067422,3.3006871844976438,92.07464582315585,77.95131086142321,7.040482006187919,23.96824621397167,7.893859768569023,1.0484458231558378,985,33,227,16,23,325,133,267,0.252,0.61,0.13699999999999998,-0.9915,0,2,0,0,2,1,17.0,0,0,0,4,15,21,4,0,7,0,20,8,2,3,3,46,53,25,1,3,9,0,7,5,2,0,3,2,0,2,13,16,0,2,10,1,0,3,9,11,0,1,5,10,24,10,29,46,7,18,0,4,0,3,11,9,3,2,11,133,37,1,0.0,0.2539513951369264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22198595530830595,0.11826175360556695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493385092478591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240501996343587,0.08948019881993863,0.13065635313823798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403944246065012,0.0,0.0,0.11771822015640986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078297487371409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926300744062884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32512196762721424,0.3062412926600636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655943427142811,0.19814883900739194,0.11198095676227983,0.10280461602853637,0.12181126488941055,0.08988682633069511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078530838148058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779266410421207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756954161317712,0.26178258836647433,0.0,0.09463066782859796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698574092355545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865079697926812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946317701152493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245402835908763,0.0,0.07261931951753317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859259068821484,0.0,0.11196699370273944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596230294325613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756106286557133,0.0,0.0,0.11000566845928088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585354931937739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722739935485889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711971760407294,0.06866846303636215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656722209136933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126420071619089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392968722846825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092126094832498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901221192634895
mentalhealth,Little-Frogs,2019/01/27,"Guilt pit How do I get out of this overwhelming feeling of guilt? I have no reason to feel guilty. 
My depression has gone up the last few days and I haven’t been sleeping well, which doesn’t help. 
I guess one reason I feel guilty is because I haven’t been keeping up with the house cleaning, but I shouldn’t feel guilty because I shouldn’t be the only one doing the cleaning.
I also feel guilty for feeling that way because my housemates either work more than I do, or are never home anyway. But I work too so shouldn’t they help with the cleaning or the cooking?
I flip flop on thinking I should feel guilty, and thinking I shouldn’t feel guilty.
It’s exhausting and I’m already exhausted.
I also end up feeling.. used? When I do all the cleaning but my housemates either don’t appreciate me for it or don’t even notice.
",3.180984320557492,5.085298335365856,3.6566202090592337,89.71085365853662,74.79268292682926,5.905226480836237,25.73867595818816,6.5431188927421005,0.9004578397212546,653,23,130,5,14,204,83,164,0.214,0.705,0.081,-0.9694,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,2,9,7,0,3,7,0,21,4,1,4,2,38,38,14,0,5,8,0,9,0,0,5,2,0,5,0,5,6,1,1,13,1,0,1,11,6,1,2,3,9,21,1,13,29,5,12,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,4,5,94,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191677471927176,0.2201813362557292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517579584293721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878255026258244,0.0,0.118570681479931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193034809555145,0.0,0.0,0.09092644849250496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6264681421481754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192429193144899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516535419100031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18454792440186235,0.0,0.1380892412991492,0.0,0.0,0.15884695179859545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223629966252715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221536660278256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617575152539832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673253965926734,0.0,0.0,0.18657076302465025,0.10470045243713187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830851407984284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776444174651462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764203744890623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889837824235093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927208645743837,0.0,0.0,0.1237773874255566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20044355078090476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,privatechurch,2019/01/27,"I own a small business. Over the past 3 weeks I have seen a major mental shift of one of my team members. It’s very apparent what’s happening and after talking to her, she told me she is going through some tough times. Besides being positive and encouraging her, what else could I do to help her? Yesterday she told me she is now in counseling. My question is, as her employer, what can/should I do to help her in the workplace? I’ve talked to her about reducing hours, but she needs the money for school. I’ve also offered a reduced role, but she says she enjoys being one of my leaders and wants to keep her hours and role the same.",4.094689413823275,5.1588832283464585,4.965301837270341,84.59726159230097,71.04724409448819,8.164129483814524,28.284339457567807,8.515128840125781,1.940991951006124,498,18,101,8,9,162,78,127,0.01,0.883,0.106,0.8948,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,7,0,9,0,0,0,0,13,17,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,3,2,23,2,16,11,4,13,0,0,1,0,27,4,0,2,8,72,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598768159348074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15962071514118495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700840953741114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361975729411998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678955133445398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680057723555538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3937639867329711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769904226549496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147342731550516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823894808195268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709433964399645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908472929846217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239573643725832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589852675461722,0.0,0.20233080685503568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213779834377382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657558982678864,0.0,0.0,0.382066319906257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649558289330862,0.1179186331207275,0.0,0.16036463181214586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Memehummand1,2019/01/27,"CONSTANTLY THINKING Hey guys this is my first time posting on reddit and about a month or so I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

Lately I don’t feel anxious but I’m always having thoughts on how to cure or fix my anxiety, but it’s to the point where I can’t concentrate on anything else. I have these brief moments of a calm mind but I always end up with racing thoughts of curing my anxiety. 

I had a therapist to which she recommended me Carl Rogers radical acceptance but I don’t even know where to begin on accepting to it. I do all of my prayers (I’m a Muslim) but I it’s like engraved into my head. I have a friend who recommended me to constantly distract myself but I’m not sure that’s going to work.

I honestly wish that I was the normal kid that I was before. Please give some advice on how to suppress these thoughts",1.5786701962005625,4.04429923076923,3.5191840548115856,85.67429772656494,83.31952662721893,7.108190594830271,24.871068203052012,8.20500826718156,1.8670520710059184,666,27,131,15,19,224,98,169,0.084,0.725,0.19,0.9693,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,0,1,7,0,12,2,1,2,2,31,25,13,0,2,9,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,11,5,0,1,8,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,7,1,22,7,21,18,2,22,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,3,10,93,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929629318797966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25425285942507875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506322400794993,0.1725995839076981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572613950549313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300057858594096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302050046682764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315904641092966,0.15506998530094354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276293213292032,0.0,0.13531904257139166,0.0,0.0,0.10091072605468623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772509064223532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995584810695174,0.0,0.0,0.11803859179174,0.0,0.0,0.14656191638909702,0.08682923544511055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127768461727867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679787505413906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396470535378697,0.0,0.17234416316131124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464131341658563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426574082618918,0.0,0.12194871902820285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969341097644945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167708184677216,0.1444278811243336,0.0,0.14632242431332326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399473599371987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739107291154524,0.0,0.09789620278635648,0.0,0.363874285737986,0.0890881091219045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569116101363053,0.0,0.0,0.11122673643163224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FirstMiddleLass,2019/01/27,"If I could just cry, with no shame, everytime I'm sad, hurt, depressed, stressed, or overwhelmed, would this help me feel better and would it be healthy? I know tears are a common way for children to deal with some emotions, would it be healthy if we didn't grow out of this? 

I've also notice in time of high physical pain that I've felt better after I've let myself cry. ",6.2197999999999976,5.435029613333337,5.8825,86.28375000000004,66.2,8.566666666666668,30.75,7.1686216300943375,1.6291999999999995,291,9,62,2,4,90,57,75,0.307,0.535,0.158,-0.9344,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,2,2,9,0,3,1,0,9,1,0,0,0,17,13,5,0,6,4,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,2,2,5,2,9,4,1,8,0,4,0,0,4,3,0,4,3,37,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545003983014924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417359226931874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425290979361436,0.0,0.4244379377941561,0.0,0.19917869015930184,0.16640118392461664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173217849447093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768673113921476,0.0,0.18550041051241686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949657001211667,0.2041243306416196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20682249163173508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106176587135881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19755807973150946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21995724266144445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055763300656356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221307695646206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265532751049125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335160707082915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117270215256539,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dkf295,2019/01/27,"Mindbarfing Tonight I sit lying in bed re-reading texts from various people whom I genuinely don’t know whether ever cared about me or just had me as an available person when they needed a person and discarded me when done. My best friend in and off for a couple years. My other best friend on and off for a couple years. My rapist who I feel horrible about myself for genuinely forgiving and understanding her bad decisions and more than anything else wish we could have been friends. 

I read things and I don’t know how I could have done things any better but things still ended up bad. That’s not entirely true - I could have been more proactively supportive or assertive. But I am not an endless stream of support or at least in the way others need me.

I just want to be wanted at least a quarter as much as I need to be needed as other people ",6.116727272727275,6.495598884848484,6.149242424242427,80.36386363636366,66.21212121212122,9.50909090909091,29.833333333333336,9.3871,2.463860606060606,676,22,129,12,10,214,100,165,0.111,0.733,0.156,0.5986,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,1,3,9,14,1,0,7,0,16,1,0,1,2,36,30,19,0,10,10,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,9,7,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,5,1,21,11,23,20,8,19,0,0,0,1,11,9,0,3,8,106,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230043359586052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959239592530866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20209988003247772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540143301892254,0.1070358456267648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339197911189688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898833200214405,0.26782138941520084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476990314350992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109997770941734,0.0,0.10719129464255063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947308821183584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119334362976943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805084021769849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302319171234686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896652575007866,0.3589508908746465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780553210567786,0.21134688365726784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24211339426761225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664987987625943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746730802049677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412087969111056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599019627360208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427661183416035,0.0960631753998321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917156557155053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587090702779266
mentalhealth,emilyaoife,2019/01/27,"I’m worried I’m developing an eating disorder Just to give you some background, I’m 16, 67.5kg and 5’2. I’ve struggled with depression and still struggle with anxiety due to the fact I was bullied right through schooling. Due to my anxiety I get nightmares about my experiences at school. I decided to start healthy eating at the end of December, but now I’m tracking my calories. I’m eating anywhere between 700-1200 calories a day, and eating food that doesn’t have the calories listed is making me anxious. I thought this was pretty normal until I told my friend and she thinks I’m developing an eating disorder. ",6.081120689655172,7.452190905172415,6.646034482758622,73.23991379310345,66.67241379310346,9.248275862068963,37.77586206896552,9.516144504307137,3.924831034482759,499,27,82,10,8,163,75,116,0.173,0.738,0.08900000000000001,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,2,6,0,5,6,0,1,1,15,18,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,12,1,13,14,1,11,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,8,47,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027220550047023,0.14968564642597545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545060292681665,0.0,0.11412080630639147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037096331247096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6778954708461554,0.0,0.0,0.11735438697160988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960900563270136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602177716764749,0.0,0.10236805046417263,0.0,0.06922502330074339,0.1271046818274125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844381048425085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982044614720345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347986586630198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315303708920912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26819121117695355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937831551167233,0.0,0.10581351257656824,0.0,0.0,0.2770325043651045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848997202945782,0.0,0.10518904786315122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660804189719246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345587083835028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Souperjaren,2019/01/27,I replaced cutting with masturbation I replaced cutting with masturbation and I wonder if that’s still healthy or no,6.649000000000001,10.051737900000004,6.599999999999998,65.555,70.0,8.0,45.0,8.841846274778883,5.145999999999999,98,7,13,2,2,31,14,20,0.261,0.603,0.136,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5929716123651502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8052233646194539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,prettylittlereject,2019/01/27,"Feeling hopeless. Trigger warning: discussion of self harm, overdosing, and wanting to die. Please delete if not allowed. 

Hi everyone. I'm a semi-functioning 32f with clinical depression and borderline personality disorder. I have a ft job that I love, and they are very accommodating to my mental health. I am in a happy relationship (2 years in March), we have an apartment and 3 cats together; we each have our own car. We're talking about having a baby, and have been actively trying. My cycle is out of wack because I was on birth control pills since I was 18, and only stopped taking them this August.

Things are great on the surface, right? I have been struggling with my mental health really badly these past 2 months or so. I have taken time off work due to it. Only used 2 sick days, and the rest has been due to a lack of work at my company. I have a few days of work coming up and then I will be off for 7 days for a mini staycation.

While things are relatively fine, our home is a bit of a mess. Our bedroom is an organization disaster. We have laundry to be done (his task), but we have shared laundry in this building and we never get an opportunity to use the machines, because they are always in use by the other tenants.

We were looking at buying a house before Christmas. We paused the search due to other financial obligations. He bought a brand new car at the end of the year, so now we have put the search on a hiatus. Which is fine, it gives us the opportunity to save up, because our rent is super cheap.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess I just needed a vent. I don't have a therapist anymore, because the one I had was just a social worker and meant for ""short term"". I'm going to talk to my doctor about an increase on my SSRI, or possibly a different medication. But I don't want to be on anything too high that would need to be decreased once I get pregnant.. Well, if, I guess.

I've been crying a lot. Feeling hopeless. Worthless. Wanting to hurt myself and generally not be around anymore. I have been a bit irratic lately, but in private. My partner doesn't even know that I have been mixing pills with alcohol, as well as pot (it's legal here 🇨🇦). I don't want to die, but often I am crying to myself telling me as such, that I wish I was dead. I find myself struggling to get through many days. I just feel so lost. I haven't done anything I have wanted to do in life. I thought I would have had 3 kids by this point in my life, but I made many stupid decisions in relationships. Not with this one, though. But I still wonder if he wishes he chose someone else, or maybe he feels like he can't leave me. He tells me otherwise when I ask, but I dunno.

Life hurts, man. I was born with a condition that caused me to have arthritis at an early age. It is manageable with regular painkillers, but the older I get, the more pain I get. I have trouble using stairs, I have to take them one step at a time (one foot up, next foot to same step, repeat). I need to push a shopping cart when shopping, to help my balance.

Ugh, I dunno guys. I'm just rambling I think. My partner doesn't understand mental health, and I don't know how to help him understand it.

I don't know what I'm even posting for. I just don't know what I'm doing or why I feel this way. I just wish I was ""normal"". I want a baby so badly, before my body shuts down even more. I am still physically capable of a lot of things, we even go to the gym to try to help with my knees. But I worry. I'm lost, lol. ",2.593607102954813,4.198221107994392,4.233008771721305,86.23826776332994,75.64796633941093,7.134038557539164,24.70746666032757,7.891335392355504,1.2812637411747936,2722,90,570,41,59,913,323,713,0.153,0.75,0.097,-0.9921,4,0,1,0,0,5,110.0,14,0,4,10,32,32,1,2,41,1,70,19,4,10,2,115,131,41,3,19,26,0,5,1,2,3,14,0,4,7,25,33,1,2,17,3,6,11,15,18,2,4,24,6,88,14,80,99,14,83,0,8,1,1,49,35,0,15,36,381,113,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442128173275867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015801787673085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956367031080373,0.0,0.0,0.09921106047182347,0.053662225043740526,0.05635392002599385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066302368248944,0.14698518491994536,0.0,0.1025881486007235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162089601822993,0.06695779647606745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06192444754476899,0.0,0.051926119461151686,0.0,0.0,0.06760945431625064,0.0,0.0,0.13243010341663114,0.15550316243533144,0.0,0.05191931265690514,0.0,0.12512281715467366,0.0629800575289096,0.06908641775970621,0.061699415909707775,0.0,0.12337530068535485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050356434891632634,0.0,0.0533904316490726,0.0,0.0,0.15925821287831207,0.0,0.0,0.057600386160001474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239759167655836,0.04306424061153157,0.0,0.0,0.055095079417585714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746977894562714,0.05782633272180345,0.10277600858122296,0.0,0.0,0.06645921616063677,0.13281103827146698,0.05968694964958556,0.0,0.06416947380404332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922253409542302,0.0,0.0,0.12121379333758335,0.06368942031244712,0.060466030928386275,0.0,0.0,0.06955534413811668,0.12906256258816987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059818871687057885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251385102760502,0.0,0.0679987759928619,0.06382810759893606,0.0,0.0,0.12773322311333246,0.029449897563846156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062024915052638,0.0,0.13160608228864812,0.10249626857851386,0.05440530182169994,0.05703865386274672,0.0,0.12222947527703006,0.06055963860756715,0.0,0.0,0.06072603540675981,0.1822450178366853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048115140517138985,0.0,0.0,0.13409118064478287,0.04649186435655322,0.0582190653697738,0.0641087564865433,0.0,0.0590618709324531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419652569910103,0.1633898980289442,0.0916917311691922,0.0641424628347124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057544343485719136,0.0,0.05263441114213675,0.0,0.06616964028750784,0.05698434432331215,0.06795695295353997,0.05773184058633516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060598326049188474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723417565115062,0.0,0.0,0.12943691249518272,0.0,0.051479025612036926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288547362067518,0.0,0.0,0.049864466523027465,0.0,0.0,0.06144814924109216,0.05107528151747485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627981120355132,0.05039700919721463,0.0,0.12603606367484754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056813445940861934,0.0,0.09064652987957562,0.09690200357821764,0.10537523488307443,0.0,0.0,0.06999004555063125,0.12014260885254086,0.03862516630511336,0.05922506427493026,0.04785580509680678,0.07029982640187175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818526998509606,0.0,0.0,0.12550778465789286,0.07250974889060162,0.20825121344717687,0.0,0.04973754005964296,0.2133292085482946,0.04784767659799922,0.0,0.0,0.10839841345923402,0.0,0.05439357232561021,0.0,0.20795802449967002,0.0,0.06537138701549564,0.13165427473083405,0.061217545488732976,0.0,0.0856427558815559,0.0,0.0,0.07763704165993726
mentalhealth,SuplexCity45,2019/01/27,"I love you, but I wish I never met you I still remember the first time I saw your self harm scars running down your arms. They matched the ones on my legs. I remember the first promise we made to each other, to stop cutting for each other. After years of pointless therapists, I found  someone who got me,, who had been  through the same shit as I had. Little the first of your games. I remember when we got milkshakes together, it was the first time you ate what you wanted without throwing up in the bathroom afterwards. But later that night you still cut, and you blamed me. You said if I ever tried to get you fat again, you'd cut even deeper. Of course I was so blinded I agreed. I remember when you found out about the girl in my study group, you found out we revised together. Apparently this was cheating, so yet again you cut. You made me leave the group and block her. You knew all my passwords, all my pins. And you changed things and blocked people as you saw fit. But I also remember when you crossed the line for me, you attacked my mother. I said things I still regret, and I will always be sorry to you for that. But that didn't justify you sending my scar pictures to my friend, exposing my darkest secret. But yet again, you apologised the next day and I was too blinded to move on. 
But now I'm done. I've blocked you on everything. I've cut off contact with all your toxic friends. I'm done. But I love you. I think I always will deep down. You're the first one I ever opened up to. You'll always be in my heart for that reason. I hope you do recover, I know you're so clever and you want to go to medical school, and I know you can do it. I hope you get the high rise apartment in New York, with lots of room for your cat. I hope you are happy, and in another world I would be there next to you to cheer you on. 
But not in this world.",1.8052355823595927,3.714107699208444,2.830504334715417,94.05613720316627,78.86807387862797,6.125623822088202,22.438070109310218,7.110495986334442,0.5482812061816809,1434,44,320,17,35,456,178,379,0.142,0.72,0.139,0.3953,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,3,36,1,5,22,21,8,0,13,0,22,11,5,3,6,66,52,27,0,9,11,1,0,0,2,4,4,2,1,2,15,19,2,4,14,1,0,7,4,10,0,7,24,6,82,11,45,20,7,65,0,1,4,2,59,26,1,5,32,230,97,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657708053852494,0.2053017516358173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862404092364629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356486171255084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700365466246622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05304082475132579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832912205281825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432164096984708,0.14878951056324444,0.0,0.0,0.07391595055564149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3497851615383348,0.0,0.2705301709596302,0.12708361647150127,0.0,0.08593859384341175,0.0,0.04674137961290165,0.0,0.13155669653385646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755067771282136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745999283097076,0.0,0.08689570883063917,0.0,0.24506169643928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039872680919232,0.0,0.0,0.08708492911253422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243048066509348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992123548096492,0.14845753793169778,0.15564325232774007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285256586192556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741276602428281,0.0,0.0,0.06343194031758324,0.07943214003119306,0.17493567408275792,0.07718078442185827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146184825783538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701790138480167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456092609631846,0.0,0.0,0.465834281039691,0.0,0.1564664888061754,0.0,0.0,0.08323570896313941,0.0,0.0,0.08579883093002624,0.0,0.08442267985139762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968540095690018,0.0,0.0,0.09206585614119993,0.0,0.0,0.197041417543982,0.06875998895346111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549207057270427,0.10927903049714152,0.052698881357665546,0.0,0.0,0.09591472517559822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055838539103964135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701973891499664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457698446234518,0.0792806527423132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842405176580614,0.0,0.0,0.0529626877859622
mentalhealth,RiskyReels,2019/01/27,"I feel out of it, in a fog. I dont know what to do. I’m 15 years old. I come from a decently wealthy family and I have everything in the world that I could want. I have tons of opportunities, friends and outside activities, yet I always feel a sort of “spaced out”. I feel like I am doing everything mindlessly, time goes bye in an instant and it scares me. I feel worse from time to time but I always feel better when I am at school, or doing something. I initially thought it might be something with me not getting enough sleep, but my symptoms have been with me for as long as I can remember. I need help, I feel really lost and I don’t know what to do.",1.7606372549019618,3.465058102941178,3.580000000000002,89.58166666666668,78.26470588235293,7.47450980392157,23.833333333333336,8.344100000000001,1.2989039215686269,506,17,115,10,12,170,80,136,0.057,0.8170000000000001,0.126,0.7757,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,2,6,0,1,5,0,16,2,1,0,0,28,31,10,0,3,4,0,6,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,10,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,6,21,4,19,25,2,17,0,1,0,0,3,8,0,3,10,79,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556094565658731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358437668364264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230992510169615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263443741416062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001414552298134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870641222117945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27608555410563657,0.0,0.14479726445746066,0.0,0.4659785283317319,0.10972948699037616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866840109453468,0.0,0.08024791713412767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029526057676794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688254185595065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503957124776614,0.0,0.0,0.1359282136634344,0.0,0.0,0.16766890219445338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629417871394729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388997966095868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16117386045050586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839795561210933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399507770035438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377705517222134,0.15544802344904654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370758902764692,0.0,0.0,0.2364924310083348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15964574433713427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193859378952784,0.26869034878061715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905952915986909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652812208809078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989112153357486
mentalhealth,ThrowawayEl1234,2019/01/27,"Bad patch Think I’m going through a slight anxiety blip. Every little thing is winding me up and overwhelming me. 
I panic continuously about what’s wrong with me and why I’m not like that or why I can’t find anything I’m good at. 
I see myself thinking negatively and doing things that will make me feel worse and beat myself up harder. 
I feel like I am just suffocating. ",3.6403153153153163,5.399088797297299,5.006486486486487,81.13558558558559,73.18918918918921,7.636036036036036,24.495495495495497,8.344100000000001,1.5090252252252254,297,9,58,5,6,99,53,74,0.246,0.716,0.038,-0.9327,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,2,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,14,15,5,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,3,11,3,6,14,0,6,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,3,36,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377624655271454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693275277715948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966853121365787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19139151175205651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22971713994972864,0.16228265287130608,0.0,0.0,0.20761948942034567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290998679123641,0.1905304475228901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219571243139214,0.2276733004876665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163059999975068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26652250019581397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101655566029784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30182909703585403,0.29110902068992744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099518807622298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314947385441337,0.0,0.2483630399381992,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1LuvBr3,2019/01/27,"So I know i'm not alone in this. What are some Bipolar symptoms people have that your struggling with and what are some ways you guys cope with it. I struggle with memory lapses (for example not remembering something I just did), I can't sleep worth a shit, there are mornings I feel trapped in my head I can't move my body so I stay stuck in bed. My anxiety has been up. I've been ragging, feeling urges to hurt people. Just a few things I struggle with what feels like hour by hour throughout the day. I love art, and my animals so I try to use those things to cope and get me through the day but even then that gets hard because I can't stay out of my head..",3.1598540145985443,4.1855486715328505,3.7062846715328455,92.89154379562046,73.23357664233576,6.93985401459854,26.10875912408759,7.1686216300943375,0.9147640875912408,516,17,118,5,10,162,87,137,0.12,0.8109999999999999,0.069,-0.5559,0,2,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,7,7,1,3,4,0,11,8,5,1,0,21,21,8,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,10,8,0,0,5,1,1,1,5,5,0,0,4,4,19,2,16,17,3,14,0,1,0,1,4,5,1,2,6,77,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997645807120846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077701594677798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827304881049274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16084801579952696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677716744468068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564370726570713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196564241109321,0.10345020324487662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131143989093146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338177069034222,0.0,0.0,0.12971869610534625,0.0,0.2972276713862085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285211599231988,0.0,0.1550189686553483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958218133478599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074542230996349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069403874607294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390700383210076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007819856539316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403818741345647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864238145485312,0.0,0.0,0.14491165284117882,0.0,0.0,0.11147956089429688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086901493054577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4541513870276794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050999646343588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240677226504466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983144984734308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250668190775769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494111584386545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Maydice,2019/01/27,"Eliminate it from my system Hi,

I have this situation where I took abilify(antipsychotrope) for a short period of Time.

Now I want to eliminate it from my body, is there any way to eliminate it faster than just wait? 

Thanks for your tips and comment",6.612536231884057,7.7063375,6.5508695652173925,75.40644927536233,65.30434782608695,11.35072463768116,28.3768115942029,11.20814326018867,3.203081159420292,199,6,38,6,3,63,36,46,0.0,0.905,0.095,0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,6,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,8,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,26,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696570917738592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404604927750784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4457214483872529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3650757375765216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312224849725931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4405644754886946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338863514673861,0.3147506686548461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,danjensonthrowaway,2019/01/27,"Anxiety from abandonment and coping mechanisms - I need your help, please! Hello all,

I'm \[27M\] one who gets attached really easily and really deeply. I was seeing a girl casually for the last few months, but we really clicked and all signs pointed towards relationship, the caveat being we never had a talk. What seemed like overnight, our dynamic had changed and after a couple of weeks of being what I felt was shouldered, I asked her about it because I wanted to resume our ""relationship"". She told me her ex came back into the picture and that she was going to give it another try with him, then proceeded with placating me about how much she likes me but she has chosen him.

​

This has absolutely devastated me, and for more reasons than one. I am absolutely terrible at dealing with these emotions and in the past it has lead to some terrible self-destructive behavior as coping mechanisms and only resolved with time passing rather than me actually doing anything about it. I have come to realize I have abandonment issues because I am affected by this way more than what should be considered as normal. 

​

I am completely devastated. I am experiencing an existential crisis, I am depressed, haven't been eating, suffering from major panic attacks all week and have performed at my work to a bare minimum, losing all interest in it. I am currently studying on the other side of the country from my family and friends, and this is further making me sad. I was left for another guy by my last ex which sparked my last bout with these feelings which lasted about 10 months and they were the darkest times of my life. 

​

Here's the good part: I recognize that I'm heading back into these feelings and I absolutely do not want to go there again. I need help and I have sought it by immediately seeing a therapist, and running to the doctor twice last week when I experienced a panic attack. They have referred me to a psychiatrist to address any underlying issues, and have so far provided some anti-depression medication but it apparently takes 4-6 weeks to kick in. I have another therapist meeting tomorrow and I do have friends here and I have reached out to them, and I have called my sister, though this is all very hard because all of this is very heavy and they're all very new friends to me.  

​

I'm feeling better when with these people helping me, I just can not be alone right now. What can I do when inevitably at the end of the night I have to go back alone to my apartment. I'm kind of left thinking of her again and how she's with him. Please help me with any exercises or advice to bare being alone and in between therapy sessions, I don't want to experience this all over again :(

​

Thanks so much.

​

TL;DR I'm just about to fall back into deep depression but I want to stop it before I do. I've sought help, but what can I do on my own in the mean time to stop from losing my mind and feeling so sad?",6.810194675365674,7.3916082647584975,7.1605203619909545,73.00874434389142,64.74239713774597,10.512069872671786,34.330264127117765,10.39495659498063,3.641138230032622,2376,100,420,55,34,774,257,559,0.157,0.7190000000000001,0.124,-0.9838,2,3,0,0,0,0,80.0,4,1,3,7,28,28,2,2,20,0,48,7,2,6,9,92,81,41,0,9,11,3,6,2,3,1,4,0,1,2,29,39,1,4,12,2,0,9,5,15,0,3,11,11,68,13,74,64,18,73,0,9,3,0,43,26,0,4,39,315,97,4,0.0,0.0,0.05132796853019712,0.0,0.0,0.05139806461073823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342670252148575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419388524791869,0.3834732746175721,0.07153675893922545,0.16546047036433398,0.04023725382009905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043283594679913384,0.0,0.04917194154420148,0.11967542180900627,0.0,0.16177817093743715,0.0,0.09618958517987854,0.0,0.04475694365002311,0.0,0.0,0.0465185731830892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05370834241986102,0.06015799176879871,0.0,0.0,0.05564160989541152,0.045308438340815216,0.05514790330854008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05819858212243763,0.0,0.0,0.05422613111122041,0.13590749707222888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053836185149571066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053820788514204035,0.0,0.059165564319712476,0.046586132479460696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051450844427289186,0.04958462430952936,0.0,0.10638032585403494,0.0,0.050502237832704015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191103418422068,0.0,0.02748023477948338,0.050456703828243014,0.0896778056215286,0.04411662772972831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05208019597868885,0.0,0.0,0.04711739213945602,0.0,0.053980625645620284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17627633704976536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097970961709289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054772624702560536,0.0,0.21437156608015973,0.0,0.0,0.1142955566758202,0.0,0.03715145623282345,0.05139335971035232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176872046948777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0351095104199589,0.0,0.0,0.057294538806925574,0.0,0.05298685631549625,0.0,0.0,0.05310889068239946,0.0,0.08396629287930618,0.0,0.07733102522273809,0.07800136107913334,0.04056674735966714,0.0507993849904335,0.0,0.04935957132931273,0.0515347798989346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128340416324565,0.04000307736408122,0.0,0.12342461874837685,0.0,0.05695840614041869,0.05021065247588925,0.036464765051724204,0.0,0.0,0.11547341099669288,0.0497220219411194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108669552840016,0.054079407129501655,0.0,0.11294093280359692,0.0,0.044918323995561095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382744178484748,0.047883157822507884,0.05487108672172145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794840852614913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03954707912393001,0.042276204151071285,0.0,0.04842508472848423,0.06015028901085812,0.12214044477843558,0.0,0.03370261410056361,0.051677175201568185,0.0,0.0920107852161626,0.0,0.0,0.05025955283814481,0.0,0.03571052528777053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301963418642594,0.12409442995942985,0.041749769237303065,0.16876346887440338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03829190171758979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834732746175721,0.0
mentalhealth,FloridaGyal,2019/01/27,"Asking for people to share stories and advice for hope. Folks who have overcome anxiety & depression: please share your story and any advice you may have for us who are still trying to overcome our anxiety & depression. I am living with PTSD, anxiety and depression that are rooted in the traumatic loss of loved ones that I experienced. These conditions began after their losses. I have been living with these conditions for 4 years now and have been working desperately to get well, feel whole, balanced, and like my true self again. 

I would love to hear from folks who have been able to overcome their anxiety & depression and how their journey looked.

Thank you in advance for spreading hope!",9.105958188153316,9.667849723577238,7.7636701509872275,70.69756097560978,59.89430894308943,11.256213704994195,35.457607433217184,10.914260884657429,4.061804645760744,568,22,89,13,7,172,75,123,0.209,0.599,0.192,-0.4003,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,3,3,4,5,16,0,0,1,0,13,2,0,2,1,16,24,7,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,7,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,1,4,4,13,10,17,18,1,10,0,6,1,2,18,2,0,3,7,64,20,1,0.1264733222413495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471765334940439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111013754255188,0.0,0.08600619607913497,0.0,0.3870069813677059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182354836521238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4357251484931993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394871182336699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660770908772318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254462596708167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25123309193929816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178847683285797,0.0,0.22335652127557692,0.0,0.10620573756258304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282942223419894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570159630604468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768067716577871,0.0,0.0,0.13882972859513282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784054566209162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193925790439764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100175851419216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643964289310405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586708387496747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213183440690262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371470553036644,0.0,0.0,0.1412029476597444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207408488170042,0.0,0.0,0.08984301942336753,0.0,0.0,0.08144467293267837
mentalhealth,Kajinator,2019/01/27,"I just met my girllfriend's other personalities for the first time. I don't know how I handled talking to them, but I want to be prepared in the future. Just a note, this all happened over a chat as she lives very far away. 
My girlfriend has disociative personality disorder (not diagnosed though, I suspect she is getting threatment for wrong illness) and this was the first time I met her other personalities.
The first one was the ""bitch"" who is generally the most violent one. We talked a lot, I told her I don't think she's just evil and I can accept her. Pretty much all the ""people aren't just black and white""  stuff. I was respectful and polite the whole time, I tried not to make her angry and hate me. I also told her I won't address her as a ""bitch"" because I think she doesn't deserve being called that. She said she's trying to help the main personality by showing her she doesn't have to live by rules. I cannot say I believe her, but I won't assume she's not telling the truth just because she's the bad one. 
Then she switched again, another one came around and asked me to give them all names. Again, I tried to use normal names I thought they might like, trying to make them feel like I'm okay with it all. This alter explaned she's a lot like the main girl, so she had to do something, then said she's going to give them a bath and went offline. 
I talked to my actual gf already, she's somewhat okay. I told her she doesn't need to apologize and that it's all okay, then we changed the topic. 

Well, the thing is, I want to know how I did and what to do when it happens next time. I want to be as prepared as possible. 
",4.16599457259159,4.70489531044776,4.896099050203528,87.08140773405701,70.52238805970148,7.762550881953867,27.16757123473541,7.686295010490155,1.2854179104477614,1279,40,281,14,22,413,155,335,0.123,0.7509999999999999,0.127,-0.6733,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,2,0,5,3,15,17,5,0,20,3,26,2,0,5,6,57,57,24,0,5,10,0,1,3,2,3,2,3,2,5,14,14,0,0,9,3,0,3,12,7,1,7,15,6,60,10,28,36,13,23,0,0,2,0,60,5,2,6,18,199,74,0,0.0,0.0,0.09071105404233408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257858703692783,0.07433639374832714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747183390058263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275000695692011,0.0869007438733602,0.0,0.08733465109933701,0.0,0.07761386993588948,0.11332948889815402,0.0,0.0,0.10472889553707243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491784871450644,0.1063162053492794,0.0,0.0,0.09833447975358167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434776662831773,0.0,0.0,0.1065349330107815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04700103941338185,0.06640735093064119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372034279628939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856535595620177,0.17834256522617215,0.05282869168003138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644002930849825,0.0,0.0,0.09177420541759093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062306040135208726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021717053801301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362399281600298,0.0,0.16416262908791335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15805470106796687,0.0,0.0,0.12409689252482685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861098175721747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833290902602136,0.0689252456588282,0.0,0.0,0.0988591144131054,0.0,0.09107654829007696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251955918480177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444356494066114,0.324660252878818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047932381688015,0.0,0.09456905217564293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684372955728814,0.07392185902247735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156160248789066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641168495802558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22414207006048334,0.08124711016505483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061755432306845534,0.11912412419928732,0.09132820110943547,0.07379619837719903,0.21681214743083896,0.0,0.0,0.26646858296928144,0.0,0.2524424388511173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028361360106834,0.0,0.07669793383708448,0.1644824965522445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357806129506577,0.0861705800696917,0.0,0.1037813760279106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163212924832013,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ccrochet,2019/01/27,"I can’t find a reason to live **Trigger warning

I’m a very introspective person. To the point where I think my way into an existential crisis daily. I’m 23F, diagnosed as bipolar ii, anxiety, and adhd. Nothing in this world makes sense to me. And I just want to die because nothing in this life matters to me.

Last night I cut my wrists thinking that I could kill myself. But I guess I’m not even strong enough to do that. I called 911 and they took me to a mental hospital. Only to be sent home because I’m on too many meds for their team to deal with. When I got home this morning i realized that everything was left in the bathroom. Knife, razors, blood and all. And I just don’t understand why none of the 6 officers/medics that were in my tiny apartment could clean them up. Now I’m left wondering if I can even clean all that shit up myself or if I will end up going back to cutting in the process. I don’t have friends or family who could help either.

This episode really came out of the blue. I had a one prior cutting episode when I was 17(6yrs ago). That time it was a release but this time I really just wanted to end it all. I don’t really feel like killing myself right now but that’s only because I don’t think I’m strong enough to succeed.

I don’t really know what the point of posting this is but I guess I just wanted to know if anyone had suggestions on what to do when it feels like there’s no where to go for help. I live in Portland, OR and not even the most reputable mental hospital here will help me to to my many meds. The resources around here seem pretty limited so I would be open to treatment facilities nearly anywhere if it meant I could get the help to get better.

I’m not going to go into all the meds because asking for psychiatric help on here would be crazy but I’d be willing to go anywhere for help. I also have issues with frequent periods and pelvic pain which contributes to the mental issues. I feel like my case is too complicated and that’s why i can’t get the help I need.

I know this post is probably really vague but I just feel like I’m hurting for no reason. I’m reaching out to my few contacts in person but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to hear suggestions/recommendations from redditors 

Thank you",3.0130101498878794,4.5965893733624466,4.23232739289508,86.76614245249618,74.48034934497817,7.396766198512925,25.260474448247372,8.098718942377014,1.4210185766552583,1775,59,368,28,37,582,204,458,0.115,0.7509999999999999,0.134,0.8964,0,0,0,0,0,3,37.0,0,1,3,6,25,19,6,0,18,0,35,7,3,4,4,81,81,28,3,15,23,0,4,4,1,6,4,1,4,2,24,17,0,1,19,1,0,8,14,9,0,1,12,6,48,10,55,55,10,56,0,2,1,0,23,29,1,12,20,242,72,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104860793052228,0.0,0.059780630511118815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05393096743369071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051590672890359984,0.0,0.0,0.04715493738113958,0.0,0.0,0.06003503405667656,0.06304638887467089,0.0,0.0,0.05185645083378554,0.0,0.16444082546527086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059644341115949434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886278913702651,0.07713228365338336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21537830959885854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952667805752005,0.0,0.06844919524479573,0.06999106525144322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946192614041153,0.13936508988604152,0.0,0.13362852862737618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060609851117021975,0.0,0.0635755149837416,0.0,0.1363967982915369,0.1927138242688119,0.0,0.0,0.06163805109635274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052103226812677005,0.0,0.10570232823024683,0.0,0.1916357726611116,0.0,0.05393715247131938,0.0,0.14858338802073487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600868743563273,0.0,0.31642071889865525,0.0,0.13529369022990828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438975152646102,0.0,0.0,0.14077765093492273,0.0,0.0,0.14922258818082873,0.0,0.11118818060012038,0.054971809915672264,0.0,0.0,0.14654540550027342,0.0,0.04763418086327547,0.13178921312114866,0.0,0.11909979697351865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501607578676268,0.13674518164323035,0.0,0.0,0.2996382344208906,0.0,0.20388803937158512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000518577172769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328696063216313,0.0,0.12941913507011174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045698431646698776,0.1025808415318438,0.07175988207015745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177703184277442,0.0,0.0,0.12750336197796108,0.0,0.12917589656150644,0.06860973765268738,0.07271067993460835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21601584549358088,0.13867710832338576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759256261372004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139395951879115,0.0,0.0,0.06922519453824015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208879753784964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963662088268713,0.0,0.05353905631856756,0.0786484807287565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749272430498149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020640795431886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564426202868164,0.11933186044784247,0.05352996249693896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170646909890735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313475061103994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581350310886123,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ctlattube,2019/01/27,"Perception of space Okay so I've faced this since childhood and I've tried to explain it to family and friends to see if they have experienced the same. I did not know where else to put this so forgive me if this is not the right place to post.
Ever since I can remember I've had this ability to change the way I perceive space. It is very hard to explain, but the most accurate explanation I can give is I can perceive what the world would look like if everything shifted 90 degrees. Like north becomes east, east becomes south and so on. And so I can get 3 types of these perceptions apart from the normal one. Nothing materially changes in the room I'm in. I would shift constantly between these perceptions as a child but then I stopped doing it. Recently I started doing it again and saw that these perceptions gave me mood swings. One of them makes me intensely elated in a nostalgic sort of way, and one of them makes me gloomy and depressed the entire time I'm in the perception of space. It's harder to switch now so I get stuck with them for days at a time and it's making me neurotic. Ive never read of this anywhere, so any help, even speculation would be very appreciated. Thank you.",3.834721164613661,5.62668464680851,4.59879059350504,84.12105263157895,72.74468085106382,8.351623740201568,28.113101903695412,8.99025400887824,2.224148936170213,952,37,191,20,19,306,131,235,0.065,0.802,0.132,0.9544,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,4,0,11,8,0,0,12,1,17,1,1,3,2,41,35,21,0,7,7,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,1,1,16,9,0,1,12,1,0,1,3,1,0,3,5,5,21,6,26,26,2,36,0,1,3,0,13,19,0,5,15,124,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065828944287428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944703209435484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28205768613315,0.0,0.0,0.14406538783489334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597668889883382,0.0,0.11482340351760716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136698364016268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805283190891462,0.12059040862468925,0.0,0.0,0.11981428862350264,0.0,0.12567684891591102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029982905501094,0.0,0.13930242943844046,0.12788721568670394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942341916835132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935775913339311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326604788069707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026125726554535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195042840382573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669649733967699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282019980841137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306196999062149,0.1279186577505021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710116414106117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928505962688853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767823933388098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401768414035586,0.0,0.0,0.13335036777141554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163177923715014,0.0,0.1510191036701794,0.11384967612351475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623422969221646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205579183453348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436054135659187,0.0,0.0,0.1114567167206654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227378878414188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547327037054465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051165263011662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199965038051012,0.0,0.21163735790178415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28410794212353496,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,paintingofadream,2019/01/27,"Help me please Backstory: me and my brother were abused as younger children then got away from my mother, have been living with my father for 2 years

my father has anger problems sometimes

me and my brother have PTSD

im 14

​

i just got back home from a friend's house and my brother was in a bad mood

he started yelling for no reason and my dad suddenly got really mad and threw a cup at my brother (hard plastic)

my brother started crying and ran into the bedroom, tried to shut my dad out

my dad pushed open the door and started yelling loudly at my brother and might have hit him??

i took my phone and left the apartment quickly, called a friend to calm down then came back in when my dad had left to go on a walk

im shaking fiercely. i dont know what happened when i left and the thought that my dad might have hit him scares me, especially because my brother is 17 and about to turn 18 and move out, leaving me with my dad

i dont know what could push my dad over the edge. he had been doing so well with his anger issues

i dont think i could deal with being hit by a parent again

even my dad yelling at me hard makes me go into a PTSD flashback

i also feel terrible for not standing up for my brother

my brother is now on his bed and i am hiding in my room shaking

advice? sympathy? please

i dont know",2.943846153846156,4.236532102564102,3.7437362637362632,91.37626373626377,74.12820512820512,6.079120879120879,26.919413919413923,6.18269132825596,0.8581238095238097,1036,38,223,6,21,330,139,273,0.138,0.799,0.063,-0.9643,1,0,0,0,4,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,15,14,3,3,12,0,24,0,0,2,0,38,48,20,0,3,2,21,3,0,2,2,0,4,5,1,3,23,0,0,7,0,0,12,6,9,1,0,14,7,43,4,33,26,0,50,0,0,0,0,34,23,0,2,14,144,46,0,0.0,0.1129151444115841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312624506710054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621152944501627,0.0,0.10325771866802637,0.11580016491275508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953766786644972,0.14655993087801467,0.07957167997665769,0.05809411275311345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973121516582313,0.10899803186432276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217889799578502,0.0,0.1046827864179974,0.0,0.09825031376471717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4467644630166003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294487829403378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818664073652256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725738451834602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832259108897123,0.0,0.2286608091428585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842736454208031,0.0,0.17074050708068614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387771013540301,0.0,0.09559386329717792,0.0,0.0,0.10996362680067748,0.0,0.0,0.20588112281138232,0.09946864111624253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712348031142978,0.0,0.0,0.10090914350830693,0.3106318137176324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415181588484269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636136184565968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20219688798022345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012890225793711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581958566188908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20922198632680367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118941357113476,0.2228016501657682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105174356334555,0.09798447002950568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541211786259428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425432712021198,0.0,0.20236190010085828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06106451524782279,0.0,0.07565770764445688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588202032433076,0.06470257498234708,0.10365924321075157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568631807605842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580016491275508,0.061370199377128336
mentalhealth,Fiddycent420,2019/01/27,What mental health disorder is this The past year I have been having these crazy episodes I have no clue how to describe it basically I woke up this morning went down to get breakfast and for no reason started crying felt extremely sad then I got this rush of extreme anger and adrenaline my thoughts started racing and I absolutely destroyed my room I was so mad for no reason at all felt like I was going crazy was a very scary experience I've probably had 4 or 5 of these attacks in the past year its been almost 6 months since the last one aswell but this was by far the worst I went to doctor and they said it was panic attacks but I honestly don't think so because there's no panic just extreme sadness anger and uncontrollable violent impulses and thoughts now 2 hours after I feel completely relaxed am not feeling any emotions at all this happens everytime and I usually convince myself im fine and theres nothing wrong as I just feel normal no happiness or sadness I was thinking it could be bi polar but I never get the feelings of happiness just empty and I mood will change in the space of a few minutes or hours then I saw the symptoms of bpd and had almost every symptom except the fear of losing people which ino is one of the main symptoms as I couldn't really give a shit and prefer to be on my own but I have never had an emotional connection with anyone as far as I can remember so don't really know what losing someone in a relationship feels like sorry for the block of text but if anyone has experienced something similar please let me know or if you think you know what this is thanks.,3.96675321523902,5.866884230283913,5.022413249211359,80.77021778694494,72.62776025236595,7.905314244115506,28.59609318126668,8.617729084823388,2.301030186847852,1299,52,238,24,26,426,179,317,0.248,0.638,0.114,-0.9919,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,1,2,10,29,8,4,15,0,29,8,1,3,4,58,58,32,0,6,16,0,7,2,0,1,5,1,1,0,16,12,1,1,19,1,0,4,11,19,0,2,21,10,27,9,31,31,6,33,0,5,1,1,6,12,1,8,19,168,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800932457512422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611518969135306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575491768949135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20460471416562284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481727794491823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325704366094462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512843586659507,0.0,0.09428436367899308,0.0,0.0,0.07179757598018595,0.0,0.09877808829804936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306152600658874,0.09204176687068574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023064250469436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576545956032787,0.0,0.0,0.08796363663063529,0.0,0.1011903166224292,0.2273432154572592,0.06424224178443247,0.17268367690360786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396391501729844,0.0862639906211739,0.05110629375366115,0.0,0.07192101767215192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952013767894349,0.19145308463631794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955857780168686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711548109977698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971341345785382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482608320142204,0.07330065328379262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919541242949692,0.0,0.08786535710172308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012055317087212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090622972669173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717770578721475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871098380417984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810713805243746,0.08628519929228327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187064238511708,0.0,0.0,0.21101457975485627,0.0,0.0,0.17168665115372275,0.062342482004631224,0.0,0.0,0.09871034458693596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695406332975867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521616347447962,0.18491518927983147,0.0,0.09654550167685197,0.10186718408614844,0.0,0.08553900639814603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230643835694384,0.07438666209677162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619292800381924,0.06922844692766196,0.0,0.10066336782527806,0.1272983669381773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803986637191161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279060536866183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286039908056958,0.0,0.14278037453629194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990393805445023,0.07419731612355117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672224270243094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831857059102583,0.0,0.11581714970286025
mentalhealth,193699,2019/01/27,"Coworker interactions have been making me feel worse. Most of the time, I try to take comments lightheartedly. I've gotten better about it since I've graduated college, and now that I have a full time job, it's a different environment. 

I'm very bubbly and try my best to keep a good personality at my workplace. It's gotten me far with the management and I've gotten a lot of promotions because of it. However, there are instances where my coworker interactions make me feel like ... trash. 

For example, today. Instead of there being calm discussion about WHY something was mixed up, my coworker decided to come up to me and yell ""What the fuck is wrong with you. What is going on"" in front of customers. Not the greatest way to go about that situation. Followed by the same coworker calling me dumb when I accidentally spilled a drink. This is a coworker that I sometimes have a lighthearted joke with here and there, but never so much for her to yell at me in front of customers and for her to call me dumb. 

I guess.. just.. how do you go about not taking these things personally? I hate to say it, but sometimes the hurtful things she says almost validates the hurtful things I say to myself. 

",5.049574579831933,6.785603526785718,5.879180672268905,76.38052521008404,69.53571428571429,9.377731092436974,31.033613445378148,9.773937934552695,3.1201148109243686,946,40,172,23,17,310,125,224,0.133,0.799,0.069,-0.9585,4,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,0,3,15,13,4,0,14,0,11,2,0,3,1,28,30,11,0,0,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,0,2,15,10,1,1,3,2,0,7,3,7,0,0,5,7,24,6,33,24,7,24,0,2,0,1,16,10,3,4,7,126,39,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088179198537386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967632033353725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716642992863104,0.11559761063935566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669280517568955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259045270766825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655850393442148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804076323213928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217636146493986,0.09337540328989476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083431070334233,0.0,0.0,0.22284733490058567,0.10962883007934657,0.0,0.0,0.14398586952706086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904374775358107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798439879622678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970416263719753,0.11617626759737686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385567289287966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112038989101918,0.0,0.0,0.17449269130809086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608293131494784,0.0,0.10080745700714323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282524571445523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118246685689284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081202084445058,0.14691746391150426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006227985115233,0.25854041328996946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19654720863853736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26050301583402524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15242982456601387,0.0,0.123892692419596,0.0,0.0,0.17747970823160258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784499612127924,0.0,0.10374723983002893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794058551033346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331991694034553,0.0,0.14290497848173947,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kikil980,2019/01/27,"A few times this week random suicidal thoughts have popped up even though I don’t want to die It’ll be when I’m not in the best mindset either about to have a panic attack/mental breakdown or in the middle of having one, Ill randomly think something like “I should just kill myself right now”. A few days ago I was walking on a bridge that went over a busy street and thought about jumping off even though I had no real desire to do it. The thing is that I don’t think I’m depressed. I’ve been depressed before and this definitely isn’t the same thing. Most of the time I still get happiness from doing things I enjoy and I’m only unmotivated to get out of bed if it’s something that I don’t want to do. I’ve just had a realization that I’ve been suffering from anxiety for years now and it’s gotten worse in the past few months, but depression and actually being suicidal is highly unlikely for me. Having these thoughts makes my anxiety worse though because I’ll start worrying that I’m going to be suicidal again (I self harmed and was suicidal about 4-5 years ago). I don’t want to die though, so I’m not sure why these thoughts come. Does this happen to anyone else? Should I be as worried as I am about it? I understand that suicidal thoughts shouldn’t be taken lightly, but I’m probably worrying too much about it since I have no actual desires to die. ",5.241326203208558,5.568849,5.994459893048128,80.89733689839575,68.0909090909091,9.525133689839572,29.631016042780754,9.478462496947786,2.4363967914438507,1085,37,220,21,17,356,141,275,0.305,0.65,0.045,-0.9979,0,0,2,0,0,3,19.0,0,0,0,1,20,12,1,1,12,0,31,1,0,1,1,40,58,18,9,9,9,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,1,20,8,0,0,8,0,0,5,10,7,0,1,14,1,17,5,31,35,8,33,0,4,0,0,1,12,0,5,17,148,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.16208632610660256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723461804630958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706344768898775,0.0,0.0,0.05806930384431466,0.08509279976430544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944794329570426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062547417448167,0.0,0.07066798834756667,0.0,0.08715406945110707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153875871757655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355928448304344,0.0,0.21458814289349407,0.0,0.2585730780398985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267612887890308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937619993508291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970524066811632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677862037989834,0.0,0.04719826397033449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343933933497664,0.08840646193358905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774509090753876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188064171805473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04057320550698065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055435386577053394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628836246261552,0.0,0.06105005775280434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056275678855257666,0.06316197609776332,0.0,0.09743928883656752,0.0,0.0,0.0792790015295879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954011605873217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452714945314462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092279628233501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663749132179471,0.0,0.0,0.06869841374995009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786928076207862,0.0,0.0,0.05878201572101065,0.0,0.06632248138836673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542068164286435,0.0,0.07827204195603596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552080524392546,0.10642799737018843,0.3263781408789469,0.3296553766758115,0.09685226570057036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645621141144495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469521209760889,0.0,0.06661633860193843,0.0,0.0,0.07698660813406953,0.0749381753685657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25301874633307725,0.16926662984607402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696076749990792
mentalhealth,Melloph,2019/01/27,"I don't know what's going on... Guys, I need your help to figure something out... 

I've been oversharing a lot lately on discord and I think i'm annoying everyone there because I won't shut up for a second. I've been sleeping though. My usual amount. And I thought I was depressed until very recently, because I was feeling down.

But today I had a sudden urge to clean. That felt good. I felt euphoric for a sec! Like I could clean the entire house. And run a marathon! And dance! And do backflips! But then it went away, and now i'm anxious. And paranoid, I think everyone hates me and wants to ban me from things because I'm annoying to other people. 

I think people are avoiding me as well... because they don't want to talk to me... 

What's going on with me? (If that helps, i'm on abilify and topamax)...",0.8590838206627679,3.23221637037037,2.594522417154,91.64745614035091,85.91358024691357,5.138921377517869,23.3411306042885,6.5966054737557815,0.7446740740740743,620,24,127,7,19,204,95,162,0.162,0.705,0.133,-0.598,0,2,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,1,0,4,8,3,1,6,0,11,1,1,0,0,30,30,16,0,5,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,7,11,0,2,9,2,0,5,3,5,1,1,9,3,20,3,20,19,2,22,0,1,0,0,6,9,0,2,9,83,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037762376258925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141695325649824,0.0,0.0,0.3677408367244042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041322396684792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989643472575185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882197170233776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625641714631998,0.0,0.2896114245995061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17142287916721344,0.12649617079996822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933021186877138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889824095258922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217575809325988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740198542182058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288378601048374,0.0,0.17012549117429554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368041872706585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821721994880206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182715000502157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091117742009708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891126979084146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509235638312888,0.0,0.0,0.1161044836259946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121910073975578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019455028693153,0.2899078090774483,0.14817462524118702,0.11972998379397674,0.0,0.0,0.14295465134339372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610102706439794,0.12443787860734745,0.17790877289669715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560048003071715,0.13980668899130566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,annissaj,2019/01/27,"Thinking about dropping out So it’s only been like 2 weeks since school started. This is my first semester of college because I took a gap year after I graduated and already I feel like a failure and like I should just drop out. I’m taking 4 classes twice a week and it’s like, I have so much reading I have to do and now they’ve just started giving other assignments too and it’s so fucking difficult to make my brain focus on the reading (I have untreated adhd and I just don’t have the money rn to go to a doc and get meds). I’m working 2 jobs on top of that so that I can pay my bills (or at least try to pay most of them) and eat still and trying to juggle all that while figuring out which parts of the reading I need to focus on or trying to teach myself how to study for mostly subjects I don’t give a shit about has got me stressed out way too much already and I can’t imagine that as the semester goes on it’ll get easier. I wanna go to college and I wanna get a degree but it’s like, I just don’t feel like I’m in a place where I can give school the attention it requires to do good in it rn. Maybe this wasn’t as much of a good idea as I thought. ",1.7387795275590534,2.865649767716537,3.7181181102362224,91.02560236220474,76.91338582677164,6.4973228346456695,24.117322834645677,6.961326702584282,0.7242274015748031,907,29,209,9,20,309,127,254,0.053,0.835,0.112,0.93,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,4,16,12,2,1,13,0,18,4,2,2,1,40,41,23,0,4,7,0,2,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,15,15,1,1,8,3,4,3,5,4,0,2,5,2,23,8,36,34,8,30,0,0,0,1,4,14,2,4,16,143,38,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336704791956484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24547845185667966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780154681408447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241635531607064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381063880853777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247710388814597,0.15891790059935745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460767585354936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282544599956643,0.17433095061601706,0.3200906110851574,0.12642312418048246,0.1865800083056656,0.08895655584202647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555915176898194,0.0,0.0,0.11037335582534367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260326312912624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424335316261634,0.0,0.11174016413508152,0.0,0.12354557161152335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24528886393023325,0.08247170821372042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459139887762704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204455149639136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620614203331606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337644070143019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251306755950548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417055965070805,0.0920062239786078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745083500840742,0.0,0.08882419177312591,0.0,0.1274075219026957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362713483691195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712682988524124,0.0,0.08829999054296671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357473791361435,0.22654281778779586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828499243842361,0.1784354961194188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097290872136695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716250623146846
mentalhealth,somebeautifulthings,2019/01/27,"How mephedrone saved my life Hi guys. I've been roaming the forums for some time now, as a guest, and I have decided to sign up to share this.

\*\*\*Disclaimer: This is not a medical advice, I am only sharing my story. Mephedrone is an ilegal substance, and everyone has their own psychology and biochemical makeup, so what worked for  me might not work for others. \*\*\*

​

So I have been living with mental illness for around 7 years now.

I have had a range of symptoms starting with anxiety, all the way to depression, bouts of depersonalization and psychotic breaks. On top of that I started to develop physical symptoms, something alike asthenia or chronic fatighe syndrome. To sum it up, I was feeling like shit all day long, mentally and physically. I have tried probably more than 100 psychiatric medications, including all kinds of antidepressants, anxyolitics, antiepileptics, antipsychotics, etc. I also tried a whole range of vitamins, herbs, etc, to no avail. I reached a point where I was full on suicidal. I literally had a plan on how to end my life.

Also, recreational drugs where of no use. Before my illness I would smoke joints and feel real good, now I smoke weed and go crazy. I started doing heroin and cocaine, which provided me a short escapade, but actually increased my psychotic symptoms in the long run, and I was hospitalized when I overdid metamphetamines. Also things like MDMA had no effect on me. 

I lost all my friends since I got ill, I was unable to fall in love or mantain a relationship, and I got to a point where I couldn't even recognize my family, or myself for that matter. It was my definition of hell.

So, I had already found my way to commit suicide, when someone I met online and then irl, gifted me two mephedrone pills.

I took half a 220mg pill, and about 40 minutes later I begun to feel better. After two hours I found that I had a lot of energy, I actually wanted to engage with people, everything around me was interesting once again, I felt relaxed and in a good mood, I enjoyed my food probably for the first time in years, and felt like myself again.

So I asked for some more. It's been two months now, I have been taking one 220 pill every day, spread in two doses. I won't say that I am absolutely 100% recovered, some of the initial effects faded away with continuos dosing, but at least I want to live now, and I have pleasant moments during my day, engaging conversations, and a will to do stuff. My physical symptoms are mostly gone, and mentally I am a lot more stable.

Now, maybe I will get addicted to mephedrone. I guess I am already addicted to my psych meds. Whats the difference? One is legal one is not. I don't care, weapons are bad yet countries go to war. I definitely do not have a moral problem with this. I'll continue doing what works for me, day by day. Not wanting to kill myself is a big step forward.

So there, thats my story. Feel free to comment or DM me for questions or if you need someone to talk to.

​

\*\*\*\*Also please, if you attempt to do this, DO NOT snort mephedrone. \*\*\*\*

Snorting mephedrone is associated with compulsive redosing which can make you end up in a hospital due to stimulant induced psychosis, specially if you are predisposed to it. My suggestion is, if you do this (and I am not recommending you to do it, just doing some harm prevention), start very slow, like a quarter of a pill (50mg) for examaple and work your way from there next day.",5.783778012684988,7.0038377875969005,6.2994485553206525,76.00811575052856,67.24806201550388,9.584566596194504,33.10870331219169,9.800150414767053,3.2897984496124018,2723,119,489,60,44,884,318,645,0.087,0.765,0.14800000000000002,0.9897,0,0,7,1,0,4,134.0,0,7,1,12,32,33,5,0,26,0,55,25,1,8,5,90,87,45,4,11,19,0,6,4,2,5,22,3,0,1,23,27,1,1,13,1,1,9,13,10,0,10,25,11,76,23,74,56,21,81,2,2,0,1,24,27,2,19,47,354,99,6,0.0,0.0,0.12454510523051505,0.13913178099379545,0.0,0.06235759517565132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083907470581736,0.20412581640869626,0.0,0.1382833166917154,0.15508023113570746,0.0,0.0,0.04881698180070106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361469043745975,0.059656799298499236,0.0,0.05995467380613277,0.0,0.053281420332750316,0.0,0.0,0.054300398167998115,0.0,0.0,0.05643765726723386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506188824747834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24692570492187926,0.0,0.05496228147856156,0.0,0.0,0.06667129190084829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400314127887603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130392442577128,0.0,0.14233734298395534,0.042148067241536906,0.0,0.05376543763232098,0.060976320282213774,0.05735125814720145,0.0,0.060157477777566075,0.0,0.12906363974012106,0.04558821742869716,0.12254150525264255,0.0,0.0,0.054279540328293886,0.07716326715312677,0.13993592771863164,0.04930197907047506,0.0,0.03333980313633965,0.0,0.0725331111400086,0.10704709733021983,0.102074613222036,0.0,0.07029751835481543,0.06318517637002942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284322307321444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059993564106233,0.06645170754535716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901464086438899,0.12470377411312993,0.0,0.11269658439384005,0.1129454830992974,0.0,0.0,0.06965972938470125,0.10850353126478246,0.057593973410444886,0.0,0.04259585753206949,0.0,0.064109013256484,0.0,0.07088216443505642,0.12857032500254142,0.19292632078158276,0.06769580195874128,0.0,0.0,0.05093514842846866,0.0,0.0,0.047316735894236434,0.0,0.0,0.06786614342409493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795905675285233,0.12972458281898033,0.048532872257771364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04424009103244708,0.0,0.0,0.07004781474766852,0.12064834499123925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760301001026967,0.061060687367741076,0.0,0.0,0.0714854739506676,0.0,0.0,0.07263347907607956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851157742869317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507468786907332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550341122910057,0.0527870016871736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813756406641767,0.049126577826772766,0.0,0.0,0.18066946199570486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730509343142933,0.1396027341907118,0.0,0.0,0.2653057114919635,0.0479796422115525,0.051290694386669985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0423947053444145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442006931268201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708988981034009,0.08665005175854111,0.0,0.2493451945430101,0.0,0.0,0.05511418211260476,0.0,0.052652636117781,0.11291617134178995,0.15195602568852518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124524422531554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18582730100015687,0.0,0.0,0.04533112068015574,0.0,0.15508023113570746,0.08218731563482605
mentalhealth,seanx_1,2019/01/27,"My first suicide attempt was Friday night. It was going to be a great night, and then I cheated on my girlfriend by kissing someone in front of her. And then I drank, and kept drinking, and kept getting into situations where I would embarrass myself and kiss the girl who wasn’t my girlfriend. Then I got thrown of out the bar. And then I stumbled home, made it back somehow. And then I took my sleeping pills - I tried to take enough to not wake up. I realised what I’d done and texted everyone as a desperate cry for help and left my suicide note for my family. If my best friend of 18 years hadn’t have ran to my house to get my parents up, I wouldn’t be here. As grateful as I am, part of me wished I’d taken ever more ",3.816845637583892,4.430627630872484,4.634422818791943,88.37458724832216,71.34899328859059,7.302281879194631,28.322818791946307,7.1686216300943375,1.3290987919463086,563,20,122,5,10,182,93,149,0.122,0.732,0.146,0.5859,1,0,1,0,0,2,15.0,0,0,0,3,5,7,1,1,4,0,11,8,2,1,1,21,24,18,2,4,2,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,1,4,11,3,2,0,2,0,4,4,2,0,1,13,0,22,5,21,7,4,23,0,0,0,2,8,8,0,2,11,88,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772035922757824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743113093424794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824526390828984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997758535966073,0.0,0.16271439812071622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162531428425531,0.0,0.0,0.15024662057258434,0.0,0.15871531012889806,0.0,0.0,0.15658394435493234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128425652756402,0.0,0.0,0.1283281585691448,0.0,0.17356039754219305,0.0,0.09439824489178196,0.0,0.1328450439354274,0.183125423405298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133307768709699,0.0,0.16661146722878362,0.0,0.0,0.1916566667684843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046772901638347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571674816903776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117464931130696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18443397746003412,0.17986970803614447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670293827006776,0.1662195805798993,0.0,0.14073567360206365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633720622919248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488624696005768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18454279543596427,0.11277074259229655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19100637196293666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179924082650829,0.0,0.0,0.10696271297833608
mentalhealth,JewBoyThinks,2019/01/27,I'm broken My friends think it is weird that I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has a dark history and is struggling at the moment. They don't understand that I need someone who will be able to fix me and I can't help someone like that unless I have someone to fix me. Help. ,2.2147619047619083,3.50378380952381,3.933523809523809,89.30314285714289,75.98412698412699,6.9447619047619025,26.885714285714286,7.554174236665415,1.306958095238095,232,9,52,3,5,78,41,63,0.206,0.703,0.091,-0.6586,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,10,0,0,0,0,8,15,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,8,2,7,12,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,36,14,0,0.2249784764758595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738178128420084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30159666087803616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099131195043082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681868961492544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415426878906549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7624941321409784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351963516768327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415712349300452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342105283034869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269813441679268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HelpSeeker413,2019/01/27,"I Worry A Doctor Will Not Help. So with the talk of getting help soon for issues I have dealt with for the last 6 or more years I am worrying a doctor will not want to help me as for the past 3 or so months I have smoked marijuana once a week. I feel like it helps me as it takes away my constant paranoia temporarily and it allows me to feel emotions while taking away my depression. While it doesnt help me in all the things i deal with, for the day I do smoke I just feel half better. To me that's better then none.

I always think the worst in situations and have weighed the doctor decision for years straight and I hoped cops would have just got me by now because I cant make a decision for anything. But I have finally decided to go.  What worries me is a doctor will write off my issues I have had all on the fact of smoking marijuana(which it's been a week and a day because I am getting myself off it to get help on my other stuff)

I want help... I need help.. paranoia/fear of everyone, depression, Anxiety, cant talk to people or make eye contact,  OCD issues, and other things I struggle to bring up anonymously. I'm sick of having my mind just in a constant struggle and if I go and the doctor finds thc in my system all he will do is write it off as that. I just want to feel how normal life is.

Edit: I've made this throwaway account for my other throwaway that I post on here a bit. Mainly because I wanted to talk about this. ",2.5593736017897086,4.013751889261748,4.0618959731543605,88.05624440715886,75.40939597315436,6.845861297539152,24.161633109619693,7.492282038375204,0.9998921700223716,1125,35,240,14,24,374,140,298,0.126,0.7859999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.8476,0,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,11,9,0,2,18,0,24,9,1,5,4,50,48,21,0,9,11,0,4,1,0,5,7,0,0,0,19,10,1,0,9,0,1,3,6,5,0,1,4,5,36,4,41,39,8,36,0,2,1,0,16,14,0,5,18,173,55,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767057738422957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062214930940163386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669251899220742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528187836608533,0.0,0.0,0.14872854956467746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385424169157218,0.08878801841086413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17577118598856098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489837151194834,0.0838445639784599,0.14009364857757028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41620814334617146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148192654112014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771143187079897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915154831071502,0.16448549535691376,0.05810002368828988,0.0,0.08908975117976717,0.07433140289516177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274699995682379,0.0,0.09244001439650708,0.0,0.06504462973847411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4360941801831593,0.0,0.0,0.08077605943773009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546527697782137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629235801648943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574436638788965,0.03973226328340261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695357200113624,0.1085728054845326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211708435389531,0.0,0.06491443397384802,0.0,0.0,0.06030293859608489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968319077548927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661059874407542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763582202241615,0.056381900454376514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788878331541894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141495332535436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17004127278460845,0.09309995550386324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229556259386028,0.19610268136817954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806008761457044,0.05211105653841018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19187508234292985,0.0,0.1304712246042836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477745428128092,0.0,0.05777236606044332,0.0,0.0,0.10474384072439076
mentalhealth,Floostick,2019/01/27,"Why do I feel like my girlfriend doesn’t enjoy my company? First off, I love my girlfriend with all my heart, and I would do anything for her. Second I don’t know if this is the right place to post this, but it seems like it is.

I have no idea why, but I have the feeling that my girlfriend doesn’t like me or my company. I know 1000% that she does love me, she says it and we talk everyday. I just want to know any ideas on why I feel like this and if any of you guys have tips on how I can not think that.",1.844732142857144,2.4028040089285767,3.0396428571428578,98.20535714285714,75.875,6.671428571428571,21.142857142857142,6.6274283507984215,-0.06750357142857144,387,8,102,3,8,125,61,112,0.024,0.7609999999999999,0.215,0.9657,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,1,0,1,2,7,0,0,2,0,12,3,1,1,1,26,23,9,0,4,7,0,3,4,3,1,0,1,0,1,9,5,0,0,10,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,4,23,7,8,22,1,8,0,0,0,2,13,5,0,4,6,69,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21758237072668024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316490610376854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999867453413184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426705218536172,0.22857801595293795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607802996996318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840433194045306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18957584945855066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611935683500184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263760773939512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31263057513934905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28877453244571805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714397363255934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532156307779192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366211660822711,0.0,0.1272216978550955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563884569822605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285850360138612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025080641676394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943597412886968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330684112696733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136444701111591,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,najadnan,2019/01/27,A manipulative evil person? My partner (ex now but I remain in denial) thinks I was being manipulative when I told him I didn't want to live anymore - this was after some sort of a conflict where I felt like he hated me. I was also feeling extremely low during this point because of work but I didn't feel like I had the support I was hoping for from him. Am I just evil? ,1.9709398496240595,3.9103253421052635,4.325864661654137,83.38605263157895,78.47368421052632,5.9218045112781965,22.69924812030075,6.868970318607317,0.7445248120300754,290,9,58,3,7,101,54,76,0.255,0.5710000000000001,0.174,-0.8509,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,3,0,3,0,9,0,0,2,0,14,18,4,0,2,3,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,9,3,14,4,7,8,1,7,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,3,5,43,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21935875636828425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720333139228521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721160720223788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773900920898029,0.19596099809705245,0.26337239128927803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708158756698261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724432147340891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680196487162438,0.0,0.2422131902227432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23950943045079065,0.0,0.0,0.2593035156531281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31127401484064354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576128205980368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621067735643998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179009172010453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19969470968363331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dont_say_choozday,2019/01/27,"Im going to kill myself soon, I can feel it. My life is shit. I am completely alone. My wife is not the person I thought she was and that realization has been the last straw. I don't have family or friends. Just me and my dogs right now. I cant keep a job because im so fucking depressed. Im better off dead and everyone around me will be better off also. I used to be afraid of these suicidal thoughts until I started to post them on facebook hoping someone would fucking care. they dont. Im a worthless sack of shit and it shows. i hate myself",0.44055518394648985,2.635560226086959,2.533043478260872,92.65789297658866,85.86956521739131,5.2775919732441485,21.88963210702341,6.67199483983844,0.4926856187290971,426,15,93,5,13,143,80,115,0.23,0.633,0.13699999999999998,-0.9375,1,1,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,2,2,6,14,6,1,4,0,15,5,2,1,0,15,27,8,3,2,3,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,3,1,0,1,4,9,0,0,4,1,18,5,10,19,0,12,0,2,0,2,6,5,4,2,5,62,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406056646960646,0.0,0.10856664212756298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085453622839305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275759317408635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401360904504893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384156274160832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234101554375078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692926350580247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591088576913736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972380385399862,0.0,0.0,0.12798176097622893,0.0,0.0686439678913122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488727809339132,0.2510145218754331,0.0,0.0,0.07715512381608369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403417644721655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483959101436255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5865732480073157,0.0,0.13472013114537096,0.12066908022433605,0.15019752193668434,0.0,0.0,0.1106619276125006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589078989137896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853976131352192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130019856872985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593767796175272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27870988707497496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150283920485525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609111267236746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849861080351434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21555539771586804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725242384025228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643949291098433,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,urinaryinfection,2019/01/27,"Is there any disorder or name for what I do? I have a habit of lying about bizarre things and scaring people I once used to know by telling them their names and birthdate and such, it's nothing I like doing but I like the feeling of extreme anxiety which it gives me.",3.81111111111111,5.091405111111111,4.097222222222225,89.73250000000004,71.96296296296295,6.881481481481483,30.16666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.5960888888888893,212,9,44,2,4,66,45,54,0.255,0.713,0.032,-0.847,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,10,8,5,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,2,6,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206668545402527,0.0,0.23856213717062516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3574037326913275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767923677217552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991521030154957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138298136725513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047054300399612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299225651880078,0.0,0.0,0.3321069271600775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21619547698403624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122132959143569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725680640399464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20717732105955805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26933572269732603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,volusias,2019/01/27,"I'm attacked by my own head All my time is spent thinking of argument scenarios in all kinds of situations with all kinds of people. It's extremely draining, and I always lose in the end, which then leaves me feeling drained and upset as if I've had an actual argument with someone, except there's no possibility of talking it out (because it never really happened in the first place). It leaves me feeling utterly powerless.

The stupid thing is instead of telling myself ""well, it didn't really happen, it's just something I imagined"", I can't help but think that it's something that could realistically happen at any moment. Because of this it still has a very real effect on me, because it tells me that were I ever to actually end up in such a situation, I would lose and the effect will be a million times worse because this time it would be real.

And I can't stop doing it, every time I lose an argument in my head, the need to keep imagining it in order to actually be prepared rises. So I do it more often, lose more often, my need to keep trying in order to protect myself (in case it actually happen irl) increases, and so I end up in a horrible downward spiral.

So many therapies or meditation/mindfulness exercises focus on realizing the objective situation, and for some reason this seems to be my weakest point. Because for as far as I know I rarely get involved in heavy arguments, irl there's not much going on to talk about. It's literally all just scenarios in my head that haven't happened yet, but they have an almost equally negative effect on me.

I was wondering if anyone perhaps has any advice on how to go about this, because I really can't seem to stop these compulsive thought arguments. Imagine getting into about 10 intense fights on the daily. I'm absolutely exhausted and feel really hopeless because of this. On top of that I feel extremely guilty and hesitant to talk about this, because my actual life really isn't so bad when others have so many struggles to deal with irl that they can't control. My problem is literally just in my head, defeating myself for God knows what reason.

I'm already going to therapy, but it's going a bit rusty so far. I'd be really grateful just to hear other people's thoughts or opinions on this.

Tl;dr
My real life seems fine, but I'm constantly tortured with imaginary compulsive arguments in my head that I lose 9/10 times. I can't seem to stop it, because I feel like it's a way of preparing for the worst (even though it seems to not be working).



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mentalhealth,chickennuggetinbacon,2019/01/27,"I'm trying to pinpoint what I have, can someone help me? So, that's a lameass title, but really I have no idea what else to say. I've struggled with my mental health for years, since early adolescence, but I've never been diagnosed with anything specific, only symptoms of many things.

I'm finally on a wait list for a psychiatrist, but I'm trying to figure out what I might have before the end of the year, when my appointment will probably be, in hopes that I can start helping myself.

Here's what I experience;

- Mood swings, like one minute I'll be perfectly fine and the next ill be super angry, or one minute I'll be extremely happy and the next ill be balling. 
- Highs and Lows. My SO has noticed that some months I'll be really happy and enthusiastic about everything and super positive and the next few months is like a downward spiral of depression and anger, but I can't spot myself in these phases until they've passed.
- Anxiety, mainly about germs and people and public crowds (which probably stems from my emetophobia). 
- I have been known to spend lots of money recklessly on things that we don't need in the heat of a moment, only to regret it later.
- I need constant reassurance from my SO that they love me, or I'll start to think that they don't. I honestly don't know why this is because we're very happily married.
- I sleep. A LOT. I can sleep from 8pm to 10am and sometimes inbetween.
- This was much milder as a child, but seems to be getting worse as I get older.

If anyone has any ideas or suggestions please reach out! 😊",5.51332868595329,6.051845662251657,6.277159288950852,78.3687295224817,67.54304635761589,9.6691530149878,28.47751829905891,9.682069395223575,2.4826993377483446,1218,38,234,25,19,401,171,302,0.124,0.664,0.212,0.9879,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,1,0,2,3,7,18,1,1,13,0,27,8,2,0,2,42,42,26,0,5,9,0,0,2,0,2,5,1,0,1,17,15,0,1,7,1,2,1,6,5,0,2,3,1,24,12,32,30,6,30,0,3,0,1,12,10,0,10,21,147,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406480209696534,0.0,0.0833184026031377,0.0,0.0,0.07615473567862048,0.0,0.08962639408186071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639255767037998,0.0,0.0926772256126448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769662216864835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938068952094045,0.11054474167039448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098311532385688,0.0,0.09646488696770764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788428206424653,0.10653813974061446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930923404461002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380544384179885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318805391187295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576978130562945,0.0,0.0,0.14600462432535458,0.11507291740702293,0.0,0.10817551573593537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458997948151367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05985592018179351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641910739286313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18518844402730888,0.09829853643383056,0.0,0.0,0.11042102632003843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975902424861478,0.1155398362227237,0.0,0.0,0.17386716863158402,0.0,0.08006383241297492,0.16151571464197778,0.08400067767855934,0.0,0.3474916997541514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399855293240646,0.0,0.0,0.1476049879932105,0.16566699706132082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550679251104281,0.0,0.0,0.11955413496154403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348539906511506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954534162979998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661225486796435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991506090152818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900942355826119,0.0,0.2179839803431469,0.0,0.09228191468485046,0.0,0.1077180724939492,0.0,0.15417883713198186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385986459298607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320265647128695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471435954594775,0.06978726686875156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789000941260913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986490709498936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827734378789127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099199234158473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027323280431178
mentalhealth,camilleonaire-1,2019/01/27,Design Thesis Project Survey: Help direct my work! [To put it in words...](https://goo.gl/forms/AAm6fbzVtMRJNfr32),8.613541666666666,12.8282149375,5.665000000000003,63.94666666666669,87.125,7.133333333333333,24.08333333333333,7.793537801064563,2.823608333333333,93,3,10,2,3,26,16,16,0.0,0.8,0.2,0.4574,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4751653912310603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7126472948070532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5160927089006608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IamAshortDude,2019/01/27,"i dont know how to live im bipolar i might even have borderline personality disorder they think. I just dont know how to live, im on 5 diffrent meds and they are constently getting changed, my girlfriend and best friend of 6 years left me because i am a verbally abusive terrible person when the rage kicks in. i just dont want to live anymore, whats the point of living if all it is is suffering and insanity? i want to die, but if i die then i will never get a chance to get the love of my life back, but i just dont know how to do this. i dont know how to live. i dont want to live, the only reason i have left too live is too try and get her back but theres no guarantee and i find it hard to keep going. i would kill myself in a instant if i knew it would be painless and quick, but yet again, no guarantee. i just want to die. i want it all to stop. i just want it all to stop.

",0.9602093908629464,2.062253609137056,3.2880171319796965,93.41903077411169,78.89847715736042,6.955456852791878,22.464784263959388,7.6454224807358475,0.6276093908629443,679,20,172,10,16,235,94,197,0.264,0.649,0.087,-0.9835,1,0,0,0,0,4,18.0,0,0,2,1,19,7,2,0,7,0,19,3,0,5,4,46,38,19,4,11,12,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,7,6,0,3,8,0,0,1,9,4,0,0,1,1,25,3,18,32,4,18,0,1,0,1,8,6,0,4,11,116,32,0,0.0,0.0942381933625538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887920985785171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223178978980956,0.0,0.04848494202777864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346904545048013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413946972740366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247640163438274,0.0,0.09115615187505108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5592997654036109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05253335717513387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726952647107231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061449993925173335,0.0,0.16621894202388704,0.0,0.045202640167407215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124941922068456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718269516662662,0.0,0.0,0.07069603083931028,0.08799577011014915,0.0,0.174845550276388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728340993184485,0.0,0.056179248460033984,0.0,0.0,0.49162763745680294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178513688343773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834754012026691,0.0,0.0,0.08437605746369697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061343742889966586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060491379081317014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889706635577925,0.0,0.0,0.07518805742256418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817771564769889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329927813136386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050964019268655035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400031859336677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814774649548349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300143089327015,0.0,0.0,0.05121914111467028
mentalhealth,SweetPotatoesAreLife,2019/01/27,"What could this have been? A few years ago, when I was in my final year at high school and writing my final exams, I experienced something really weird. While writing my biology exam, my head just kind of shut off into a kind of dreamland while my hand just kept on writing, even though I had no idea what I was writing. It was like I wasn't really there, even though I was.  I put my head down a few times on the desk. When the exam ended amd it was time to put our pens down, I suddenly snapped back into reality, but I had absolutely no recollection of what I had written down.

Could this have been due to stress or fatigue? I wasn't on any kind of meds or supplements at the time. I never spoke to anyone about this and I really want to know what it was, it it normal, was it a warning sign, etc.

PS - I still passed all of my subjects well, including biology somehow. I am currently trying out escitalopram 10mg, which my GP has prescribed me for anxiety and low mood.








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mentalhealth,noano9913,2019/01/27,"i'm jealous of my brother for being happy it's bad but I'm so jealous of my brother having that perfect normal life, I'm jealous that he doesn't have to worry, that he can be in a normal relationship with a girl, that he has that perfect body, that he is confident and positive, that he isn't depressed for no reason at all, that he likes himself the way he is. 

it's good that he doesn't have to worry, I'm happy for him and glad that he doesn't have to go through what I'm going through. but at the same time I'm incredibly jealous, there is this voice telling me how unfair it is, which is stupid because i'd never want my brother to go through this. I just want to be as happy and free as he is. 

And I want to be normal like every other guy. but I'm not. And I have to accept that that is never going to change. ",4.344067796610169,3.65519846327684,5.846333333333334,84.6728898305085,70.01694915254238,7.983954802259888,28.99943502824859,6.742157984588678,1.363875028248588,636,20,142,4,10,218,80,177,0.128,0.578,0.294,0.992,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,4,18,5,0,4,0,22,2,1,2,5,26,36,12,0,6,5,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,20,6,0,0,2,0,1,4,8,7,0,0,0,1,9,12,22,32,2,11,0,1,0,0,19,3,0,0,5,95,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365068033673965,0.09027554234859664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644968884350114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666175816427388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755147019806773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477394371847568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366565111587165,0.12421258977605427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663441771180974,0.0,0.4729402397695386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460179823584066,0.14470059556735987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22843544521149645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4352963137165675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226329750908146,0.0,0.15899544544975233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943898372290244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635366834960508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620455933838932,0.11754858035133847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30078934136145513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hayleybts,2019/01/27,"I only have one question, why me? I know people struggle but the degree of struggle is very different. ",1.8161403508771947,4.594253421052635,3.64842105263158,80.18561403508772,93.73684210526315,4.63859649122807,27.385964912280702,6.42735559955562,1.8676175438596487,81,4,12,1,3,27,17,19,0.235,0.765,0.0,-0.5574,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298408271962181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350126354615605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392747655332972,0.2401051828351929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188676386094248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536578816481865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.660079414503302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26048676358301354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28487145922026297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway1239012122,2019/01/27,"Can someone give me a plan of action. A few main problems, maybe more that I don't know about: 

Depression, extreme anxiety, worried everyone hates me.

I also need to:

Get all my engineering studies done, start making money, workout, ""become a man"" or at least a strong dependable person that people want in their lives.

I would like to:

Improve my social skills, get better at guitar, get a girlfriend, read more.

I have been watching and reading a lot of ways to achieve these things I just need to put them into practice.
________

What I really need help with is the first three things. I don't know if I can afford to see a therapist but my uni does have people to talk to.

I feel like I may need CBT.

I'm part of a sports club and I would like to take a break (maybe 4-8 weeks or more) to sort myself out but I feel like this may make things worse. I do plan on joining some meetups in the meantime.

One of my issues is that I always feel like I'm on the outside of any social group, and that everyone talks to everyone on Snapchat and Facebook except to me. I'm wondering if I should actively change this or grow to not care, I really have no strategy right now.

Another element of this is jealousy, when I see friends messaging people constantly but I rarely get a message it makes me feel unloved.

If I do take a break, what should I say to the people in the club that I'm closest to? More, less, or nothing?

I'm really in a terrible spot, right now. None of my problems are that serious at the moment but they're very severe and could get worse.

Is it also worth getting bloodwork done?

20M UK",3.0426091150229047,4.680404971786835,4.21318181818182,86.70900349650353,74.51724137931033,7.415529298287917,26.062334217506628,8.139509932561175,1.5850987701953216,1242,44,253,20,26,406,168,319,0.13,0.763,0.108,-0.877,1,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,2,7,7,16,1,0,18,0,24,0,0,4,1,51,58,19,0,15,14,0,4,5,2,6,0,1,0,2,17,8,0,0,7,7,2,3,5,7,0,3,3,8,32,9,36,48,13,29,0,1,3,0,16,15,0,14,13,167,49,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972572824932564,0.0726916666398063,0.0,0.0,0.05940873423564691,0.09160602424208064,0.06683121667844502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648378071507917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772640413749659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907074937012098,0.0,0.09241675646861043,0.0,0.0,0.0944066162182734,0.0,0.06975095337110893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752442286913912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645053246697811,0.17880204618624398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504326275027741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669015483167225,0.18723296225480104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430954530733624,0.0,0.0,0.06749518557674866,0.0,0.27385629244978243,0.08380499627290754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862512763928952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058556491600183835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118258365333633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602305964052428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21340178768115592,0.0,0.07714169918670831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427152131135002,0.0,0.0,0.1749431988207654,0.0,0.17553249701004076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25910942564819184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838256003811858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059198332104257324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460386137305793,0.0,0.2422615246255264,0.07628058744126917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718608473863866,0.0,0.08782231640260747,0.0,0.0,0.17477004271406935,0.0,0.1678978113757834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921228258775593,0.0,0.06947327590593587,0.0,0.0,0.1392314184902067,0.0,0.0,0.09869349311514657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810785072265573,0.07402101388310536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183483450035637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136977119500998,0.1404355363114325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143329570508428,0.17411705728501475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208228782854019,0.05152800545414038,0.06934339720718075,0.07007602958056136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473969016061703,0.0,0.08871972214114522,0.17805741968157734,0.12411803584336795,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,urbanmis12,2019/01/27,Need someone to listen to me instead of the normal I promise it gets better. I have loss so much these past few years. People are still trying to suck the lil bit of sanity I have left. I'm in desperate need of guidance and mental support but no one seems to care unless it involves them. Its sad I cry almost everyday asking why did I wake up today. I pray not to. Where can I turn to who can I call to speak to someone Asap. I'm shutting down not eating now sleeping just want someone to hear me instead of saying ill pray for you or i would have killed myself if I went threw half of the things you went threw and continue to.,2.3770909090909105,4.039090723076928,3.8144755244755264,88.76416083916084,76.38461538461539,5.9580419580419575,22.58741258741259,6.574015621080383,0.5526153846153852,494,14,101,4,11,163,88,130,0.18,0.7040000000000001,0.117,-0.9042,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,1,2,7,8,2,0,3,0,8,4,2,0,0,16,26,7,1,6,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,6,2,1,0,1,0,0,4,3,4,0,2,5,4,16,4,20,20,3,17,2,2,0,0,11,6,1,4,7,72,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623287614244402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155004545034292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337224967708478,0.17698105796878694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553142868023188,0.0,0.165280944283555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780691403768066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587799239468434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469526927410714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827086410672903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17934960609701098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17613191858025593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336775817020088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916877816073927,0.2404035603537248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883241520850522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984926364036328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475139735884025,0.11238597922673547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891559491085747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757795841321106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16222608769285995,0.0,0.4120633257699908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294604683855026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395938857735936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076980259978772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366039083770802,0.0,0.0,0.1100613797312105,0.1763280570020766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561609685261513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005533610868785,0.14627817114320368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515759276688865,0.0,0.0,0.10439289038603272
mentalhealth,meowchelfoucault,2019/01/27,I want to die Either by my hand or through this fucking fever (which I'm not even sure if it's dengue) ,6.452608695652174,3.3644481739130465,6.206086956521741,91.53347826086956,67.26086956521739,9.2,31.69565217391305,3.1291,1.1127739130434784,80,2,21,0,1,25,22,23,0.222,0.607,0.171,-0.3318,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,6,3,2,1,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5466710358872515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479055786448431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4869609296279449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964444703386421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106838067164572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,performagekushfire,2019/01/27,"Just woke up from nightmare, how to remind myself of reality Jusr finished watching until dawn, and im honestly really tweeking out about it. It’s been a good long time since A game or movie got me this good. Maybe because I live in minnesota and so everything felt a bit too real, maybe via very similar snow environments, but I cant shake this looming sense of dread, to the point where its affecting my sleep, cant close eyes without freaking out
",6.886279069767442,7.092335069767443,7.034279069767448,75.2653720930233,64.5813953488372,10.600930232558143,34.64186046511628,10.355215969177356,3.5535144186046512,360,15,66,8,5,116,72,86,0.069,0.8079999999999999,0.123,0.4093,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,4,0,3,2,2,2,0,13,6,7,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,3,5,3,12,2,1,12,0,0,2,0,1,7,0,1,4,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371721726968646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456672662481202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022365173862805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21605774710259187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774778942915004,0.1799717648616525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430638802706716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19869977996508356,0.1991386230611185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521324899546209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127198417933691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561258868339645,0.14415574857139213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614167725976255,0.0,0.2251859037064941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312129509243977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856678668205768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169145223214988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlesatan_,2019/01/27,"Coping mechanisms for hearing voices A friend hears voices for quite a bit already. She is against visiting a psychologist for reasons I can fully understand.

​

She mostly, but not only, hears those voices before falling asleep. She describes them as a sound ""I'm not even sure we can produce as humans"". Or those voices say the same word (or short sentence) over and over again. Those voices are not telling her to do something dangerous. They also don't try to upset her. What she hears doesn't make any sense apparently. She says that life is ""life is tolerable this way"", but obviously she still want to get rid of those voices and sounds. On top of that she also hears ""metal creaking, pounding against the walls, screaming"" and stuff like that. It is probably unrelated but she also has a tinnitus for her whole life.

​

It is probably important to mention that she had a bad trip a year ago after taking mushrooms. After this, those voices and sounds started as far as I know. 

​

I hope I didn't forget something important.

I know that people on Reddit are no psychologists or experts. But I still hope that somebody is able to give a good advice on what she is able to do to cope with those voices/noises. Maybe somebody is able to tell what worked for them. Apparently there are some cbt and m-cbt which might help her? ",5.167168674698793,7.254834261044178,5.188391566265062,80.03921385542169,69.8433734939759,7.5502811244979915,28.51425702811245,8.238735603445708,2.104029558232932,1077,40,185,16,20,336,135,249,0.07400000000000001,0.8,0.126,0.8964,2,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,1,0,3,4,8,10,1,1,10,0,21,4,1,3,2,34,38,19,0,3,10,0,0,1,1,1,3,18,0,1,21,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,7,4,0,0,2,18,24,6,29,35,5,21,0,0,0,0,33,9,0,8,9,133,45,2,0.2612003820148825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508066342844171,0.07717945957565572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608037223745976,0.20888185112820276,0.0,0.2830105047847582,0.3173870539545929,0.05920840557095824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726971362117271,0.0,0.0,0.07408742892583119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505438895147443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750679629378566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726758906971197,0.0,0.04548880631819188,0.08352240242179132,0.0,0.07302749595529881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4906530233271771,0.0,0.058359036732275216,0.0,0.0,0.17295394376820358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569926598350398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18449355443011892,0.0425364376371848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058117761083046865,0.0,0.08747029715049387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923641093878979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621822022077158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060361152231299765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877454598505044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260625268778848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951916519116411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847801839594068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340565434474244,0.0,0.0,0.06162632492704066,0.0,0.13906330832224895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967064858771914,0.0,0.0,0.08205942295649298,0.0,0.06546339349552244,0.0,0.15220043116924886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05911263791490889,0.0,0.0,0.09063960313457284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05135425092697348,0.06910956845546236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720696617207047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338566299612332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173870539545929,0.056068160742222733
mentalhealth,TheRealJessie,2019/01/27,"How do I avoid being involuntaried by my family? Just spent a week as voluntary for SI due to year long headache pain. Received no help for headache. Back home after week at a place that said all that's done outpatient, and I'm back with my 3 neurologists (1 MS doc, 1 headache doc, 1 seizure doc) who have had 6 months to try stuff) and previous docs who have had opportunities in my previous state of residence.

I admitted to my wife tonight as my pain got to 9-land that I'm actually worse than when I went in due to new PTSD triggers from being confined for a week and other things I witnessed in treatment and in the hospital prior to placement. I had a total meltdown at a grocery store due to the loud music I couldn't control and someone from the store with a clipboard doing inventory behind me for instance.

My pain is out of control and no one gives a shit. I told my neurologist a couple weeks ago its at a level I can't handle, have been prescribed nothing for pain, ever, and I attempted suicide and succeeded in december, only to be revived by my wife when she came home and found me some time after. I attempted again this month after I felt my team abandoned me after that visit. I don't want to die exactly. I just want out of pain and I dont care what happens to get there.

I live in washington state. How do I avoid my family getting an involuntary commitment on me?",5.989689781021898,6.012334930656937,6.8938594890510965,76.138526459854,66.48175182481752,10.207664233576645,33.91332116788321,9.978442167317967,3.2599423357664232,1097,46,212,23,16,367,152,274,0.163,0.782,0.055,-0.9812,0,2,0,0,0,2,24.0,0,0,0,7,11,12,1,2,13,0,19,6,1,5,5,38,37,16,2,3,2,2,1,0,0,0,5,2,2,0,12,15,0,6,3,1,3,4,6,9,0,1,13,3,31,3,44,20,3,46,0,1,0,0,13,14,1,1,26,146,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.1030280560183907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358776178284682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236460291711305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075211864781504,0.10764292750994617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23682747308380744,0.0,0.11681909397161927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957239971668484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804206674111744,0.123735618256301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550056481378236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990574572616318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137060821763907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157598813160602,0.0,0.0,0.11031939308462904,0.10127921009500364,0.0,0.0,0.08443968110694412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336151356754537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076612945472516,0.0,0.2118049532716773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322654622612207,0.0934324439185388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16854132696360846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196705679896656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130411037427027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154180038307716,0.08029617016987267,0.5617075875017721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030563720774927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341402333408537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042803419981408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837341393732984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894551655619579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086056274630305,0.11548425200573158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014075854724687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06156287760846443,0.0,0.0,0.10088347880398306,0.0,0.07167994575179909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454426161351627,0.0,0.3387504439187123,0.0,0.0,0.09787106372299603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075921223012725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798821473998283
mentalhealth,slyther-me-this,2019/01/27,"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I need some advice, or tips, or whatever. I need to write this off me. 

I have been struggling with stress, depression, anxiety almost my entire life. I have had help for it, multiple times, but because it's only in waves I somehow can't seem to express how badly I feel to therapists in times that I do feel really bad. Lately it's been really bad, I have fallen back into self-harm, something I never thought I'd do again. I have enough of the constant pressure on my chest, the crying and feeling like shit all the time. My deadlines for uni are almost over and there's just one left, but I can't do it. I actually, can't do it. I feel like a failure if I don't do it, but at the same time I can't. I don't know what to do. I've sent my uni tutor a message that I want to have a chat with her already, I'm going to make a therapist appointment next week, but I don't know if I should really push myself, risking panic attacks, anxiety and more, or leave it, risking feeling like an absolute failure because I always give up. ",4.658643543956046,4.295274308035719,6.196071428571429,81.32969780219781,69.3125,9.213736263736264,30.177197802197803,8.841846274778883,2.2388417582417577,831,29,176,13,13,286,120,224,0.273,0.6579999999999999,0.069,-0.9945,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,0,7,15,2,6,10,0,25,3,2,2,2,41,44,14,0,7,11,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,10,1,0,4,9,12,0,1,5,5,28,3,19,38,5,25,0,1,0,0,8,10,1,11,14,120,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.11216889312158718,0.0,0.0,0.11232207665858676,0.0,0.0,0.2301998915266659,0.0,0.12684370926324784,0.0,0.09564272681254987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586389457816054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307655453992671,0.0,0.08838494335993137,0.2879206500299932,0.1401377534628639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421377334767385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626073296957913,0.0,0.0,0.09900121350376198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876801610865588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905960371766109,0.24634833519464505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026488639713232,0.06532539979135543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704462957176017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895108686889295,0.0,0.12966198887397,0.12170924044586598,0.12488713705374806,0.0,0.08118844058749841,0.1684676923006889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672610147293699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045923664553878,0.08865200161194567,0.0,0.12224438968070282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788911944007633,0.08742019288658136,0.0,0.13486217422392655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22090846513960008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816166171654968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464082187388976,0.11991179932112693,0.0,0.11798850094762522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848960940667264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166811623540609,0.12016456507719014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669179959482579,0.07636377461638996,0.0,0.0,0.09125280238380187,0.2680993937219805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779702786656397,0.0,0.09220125033715493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,andrewpeng,2019/01/27,"How do I help a friend? A friend recently asked if I could help someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety for 9 years (I’ll refer to her as “person A”).

Person A has few close friends, is isolated from her family, lives alone, and was subjected to some bullying in the high school. She says she has “tried everything” from therapists to antidepressants with little success (she went to a doctor as recently as last week), and that the cost of treatment and counseling is becoming too much for her. Most of her time is directed towards rigorous classwork or playing video games, and her social media is filled with posts that mention depression, anxiety, and death. She tells me she feels exhausted, miserable and hasn’t had a good day in years.

At the request of my friend, I agreed to make myself available to Person A whenever she needed to talk online, and check in on her once in a while (I'm trying not to act like a therapist, but more like a friend who is always ready to listen). But besides gathering her thoughts on a daily basis, what are some ways I can actually help her cope? What are some questions I can ask, or things we can discuss? What are some things to avoid (tone, specific questions or topics, etc)?",7.3900503862949325,7.5025164497816625,7.253799126637556,74.4313671481357,63.54148471615721,11.238293584145117,34.64595230097414,10.891193690592663,3.8224757138058454,973,39,174,24,13,310,136,229,0.122,0.75,0.129,0.6852,0,2,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,0,1,2,16,0,3,14,0,19,2,0,2,0,35,28,19,1,3,7,0,1,2,5,0,2,2,0,3,9,13,0,1,5,3,2,3,2,6,0,0,4,3,23,10,31,23,9,25,0,3,0,0,42,11,0,11,11,123,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.10824429705862262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488219153292953,0.0,0.0,0.09229635279874147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971072029720444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20739500899313426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250511614159194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856253953136205,0.0,0.0,0.07153579501847533,0.0,0.19107466366899456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353381372194347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370783747762548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996899334113759,0.0,0.1045678010837941,0.0,0.05608571663109325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4284919955870696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303647687501884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22304691268809976,0.11719564399756704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041659019117952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083821989186109,0.11117342152537184,0.09794654343131996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404158754588143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154075356726137,0.08224758101091917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181287745249291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29055957865406523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623303216591112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485170288586055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21904504809451186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820997343301043,0.0,0.11225942738486128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307145499895516,0.09398422030585923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596021424617504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915525261724129,0.09695109841581707,0.0,0.0,0.25757899574169063,0.1473838757619588,0.0,0.0,0.08806002425250882,0.06467976461134764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061810619271918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804506690719445,0.08897528764818223,0.0,0.0,0.10282620971887817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428608244629302
mentalhealth,frondaro,2019/01/27,"what does r/mentalhealth think of Christopher Thomas Knight he was the guy who went off into the woods and just simply didn't need to talk to anyone

for 23 years

what do you guys make of him? 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Thomas_Knight",9.728666666666664,12.5553752,4.359999999999999,87.55166666666668,59.5,7.333333333333335,20.833333333333336,7.793537801064563,0.5150833333333336,208,3,34,2,3,50,36,40,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,7,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,7,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23979791293296784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001169787041387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6791468515514553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289211187971071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25429233607002305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756494134209426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974786985073574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179171564348895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22084791029139847
mentalhealth,indyjh,2019/01/27,"Words repeating in my head A couple times a day I will get a word, usually multi-syllable, stuck in my head and will repeat it to myself for no reason.  The words are random and the repetition will last for and hour or two. Can anyone give me insight on to an underlying health issue or is it just an odd tick?",4.5373809523809525,4.9067328571428614,6.285833333333333,78.04875,69.63492063492063,9.474603174603176,25.273809523809533,9.516144504307137,1.986019047619048,242,6,49,5,4,84,47,63,0.106,0.894,0.0,-0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,6,3,2,1,0,12,9,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,5,0,8,5,0,12,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,8,36,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18082025448293848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28613775642870004,0.0,0.16677664116850258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351086648364203,0.248074222836344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5307997050636185,0.27488141256847515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25467048886634513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26991288803772595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21079482256539395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658855192120568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079267506098162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526161910758528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848131321290825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ujonc,2019/01/27,"Is it possible to repress body pain? Last week i went running with pain in my legs, but i decided not to care about it and convinced myself that it doesn't hurt.I wasn't even feeling the pain while running and doing leg [exercises.](https://exercises.In) But after coming home i could feel my legs as usual , like not fully feeling them like they're disconnected or something , i could move them and everything but it was [weird.In](https://weird.In) the shower when i crouched down i could feel them again normally and felt the exhaustation coming up.The next morning they were hurting very much , My jaw was shaking , had a bad mood , food wasn't tasting good, and just felt bad overall but that could be just from the overtraining or something.Now my legs feel light when i walk. It's different but maybe it's just in my head.  


Is this possible?   
I'm worried i caused something bad this jaw shaking in the morning and all doesn't feel good.  
Is it possible to repress things in your body like inflammation and sickness? I fear i'm doing that, i devoloped a bad habit of doing this with my unpleasent feelings without noticing sometimes.  
What you think? ",3.4396126760563384,6.3723772394366245,3.4937852112676078,85.82124119718311,79.4225352112676,5.991314553990611,27.184859154929576,7.333567415737692,1.6315760563380284,924,39,165,13,24,282,112,213,0.257,0.687,0.056,-0.9931,2,0,3,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,4,0,8,22,0,5,7,0,19,16,9,1,1,44,35,18,0,5,13,0,9,3,0,0,5,0,2,0,15,11,2,2,11,0,0,9,7,14,0,0,9,11,23,7,16,21,2,23,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,2,12,106,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3296205376738377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21925294977738669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062482593499376,0.10138563768581067,0.0,0.1700318030390945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151956210720795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311393233571016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518627177778599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886995524363483,0.0,0.0,0.11105787437409087,0.3493175745142487,0.07050681385084293,0.18952289839723785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934083893053535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555922101011553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128823066756416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989978489444312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21130733867115148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044855491761388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465030029377632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915110786917462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048958061865221,0.07255124062419446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496189171382607,0.0,0.09669889171114028,0.0,0.11236345525464786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150512320292024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337870235530894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195849600299688,0.09761061345117976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556772268306242,0.06323895120312963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869719010406896,0.08143265569264542,0.0,0.0,0.07916614970261908,0.0,0.0,0.09149006794049877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951372249459358,0.0,0.0,0.1002282641673662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LennyIsBack,2019/01/27,"I think I have a personality disorder, but I'm not sure what excuse I have to pursue a diagnosis/treatment, despite wanting to. This is a short novel about (maybe?) Schizoid Personality Disorder, and it includes my story up until this point, so if you're not interested in that don't waste your time. I need to vent, and I'm surprised that I even had the energy to write this, so I'm taking advantage of it in the moment, even though I don't really know what this is. 

​

So, here's the story; my whole life people have called me a psycho. I never cared, so I never even really thought about why people would call me names. But now at 21 it's starting to make more sense. 

These symptoms started when I was around 14. I guess I just thought that my personality change was a part of ""my body changing"" or whatever. I only remember having one close friend in my life, and we haven't really talked since I was like 18. I just prefer to be alone, and I literally don't experience loneliness. I simply don't care about the things people talk about, or the way people spend their time. When anybody, including my own mother is within 20 feet of me it's like my head fogs up and I can't think. The closer the relationship the more my head fogs up. I always just thought it was anxiety and depression, which I never sought treatment for because it's too expensive. But, for some strange reason, in 2018, what I called anxiety and depression just went away. My overall mood improved towards the beginning of the year, and just a month or so ago I've learned to control my anxiety. I always thought that when I reached my early 20s, I would change and be normal. Once I started drinking, maybe I would socialize better. 

The problem is that my behavior really hasn't changed at all. I'm still the same person, except I'm basically empty inside. The only thing I really feel is pride, shame and anxiety. How fun is that? You'd be surprised at how far pride and anxiety can get you in life before you realize how empty you are. I'm not interested in socializing at all. I'll just spend an hour a day on anonymous social media like Reddit and Discord and I'm content. I don't even care about spending time with my family. I care about people, but it's not really a gut feeling, it's just in my head and nowhere else. I'm constantly motivated by what I SHOULD do, not by what I WANT to do. I understand that family is important, and that friends can be useful, but the emotion just isn't there. If someone asked for my help with something, I would gladly help. But I don't see what reason I have to just attend the movies with them, or do whatever social butterflies do these days like make prank videos and go to fury conventions and shit. If I want to feel an emotion, I have to really focus on it. Nothing feels real, and increasingly so in recent years. It takes a lot of meditation, caffeine and self harm to feel present. 

I started worrying about my lack of empathy. I don't think I want to hurt anyone, but what if I take the wrong drug or dissociate? Last week I made a post asking if it's possible that I could be a sociopath and not realize it. A couple different people mentioned that it sounded more like Schizoid Personality Disorder than ASPD. So, I did a bunch of google searches, read some Wikipedia pages, and watched a few YouTube videos. To be clear, I've tried out Myers Briggs, astrology and all types of personality tests, and while they're fun, I never felt like they were accurate... (I mean, a Libra? Me? Yeah right...) But when it comes to mental illness, I usually never identify with what I'm reading. However, with Schizoid, I check every box. Like, every single one, except perhaps being indifferent to criticism/compliments. I'm usually indifferent, but not all the time, and it depends on who's talking. Like I said, I'm motivated by pride, which gets me to work in the morning. 

Earlier today while driving I parked on the side of the road and tried to cry. I couldn't do it. I haven't cried in years, and when I did cry it was because my pride was hurt. Anyways, when I tried to cry it was like trying to sneeze. I felt like I almost could, but it just wasn't happening. It was as if I was pretending to cry. Then, I tried to look at a few objects around me and tried to convince myself of how real they were. I had some music on, and I just told myself again and again, ""this is real, and this is real, and this is real..."" and then I just felt tired and fell asleep. Life just feels like a dream, and everything is inconsequential. 

​

So anyways this whole SPD thing has been on my mind, and while I don't really care that I have it, or that I have the symptoms, just the fact that I COULD have it has given me a great amount of comfort and confidence. ""I'm not violent, I'm just a loser"" I told myself when I discovered the condition. I slept really well last weekend. ""I don't need to be afraid of myself."" But, it's still just a question. I don't actually know if I have this. I can't just diagnose myself. And this is my problem. I filled out a questionnaire to send to a psychiatry office, and I can't decide if I should even send it in. What do I tell them during the appointment? ""I don't care about anyone or anything and I prefer to be alone."" I can just imagine the doctor saying ""Ok, and so what's the problem? Just avoid people and don't do anything."" 

Like, I don't really have a problem. My problem is that I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, and I want to know. The only symptom I really want treatment for is having a lack of interest in few, if any activities. I really hate that I have no interests, because if I did, maybe I could have a job that I enjoy. And I don't know, feeling something would be nice. Imagine enjoying music again, or falling in love with someone? Maybe being normal would be like taking ecstasy or something. But, it's not like I'm in pain, or I'm stabbing people in the street in a Santa hat. So what's the problem? Why am I visiting a doctor? Why don't I just fuck off and let people with real problems get help? I guess the reason I want a diagnosis is that if I can sleep better at night with the JUST THE POSSIBILITY that I have this disorder, imagine how well I could sleep if I actually knew I had it? I would have the justification to just be alone without feeling like I'm a psychopath, and if I DID want a relationship it would be a step in the RIGHT direction, not in the WRONG direction (does that make sense? Right now I sincerely believe I would be hurting anyone I tried to be close with, because I don't know what's wrong with me or what I'm capable of. But if I knew, then I would have something to work against and I wouldn't be scared of becoming violent or something.) 

Is that reason enough to pursue a diagnosis? I really feel like if I walk in there and explicitly tell them I think I have the disorder, they'll be more likely to tell me I don't have it and that I'm pretending in an attempt to score drugs, or that I've convinced myself I have it when I don't. Like, I'm pretty sure they aren't just going to put me in a cat scan and tell me with 100% confidence that I have a disorder, they'll just meet me and ask questions. I just want to tell them my symptoms, and I want THEM to suggest it. I want THEM to bring it up, because I want to know without a shred of uncertainty that I have Schizoid, or that I don't. The power of suggestion is real. But maybe they won't? Maybe they won't think to? Maybe I'll end up with one of those bullshit doctors who avoid diagnosing patients to ""avoid labels, because labels make people feel insecure and different, which is counterproductive in therapy, because my job is to tell people what they want to hear, and in a progressive society there are no personality disorders there are only personality types, and we're all a just a little bit different, but keep going to therapy because we're all damaged, my career needs to stay relevant, give me money."" The questionnaire I filled out only asked questions about anxiety, mood disorders and ADHD; nothing about personality disorders. And I have a horrible past with doctors denying that I have a problem, and then just telling me to leave. I tore my meniscus when I was 18, and I still can't run more than 4 or 5 miles before the pain is unbearable, but even back when I recently tore it and I could barely walk, my physician's response was just ""well you can walk, can't you?"" And he didn't offer any kind of help. I'm worried that this will be the same experience. Should I try to find some kind of expert on personality disorders, even if they live on the other side of the country and start talking to them? I can't just go on in life not knowing. I need to know. My need to know is being sourced by my anxiety, which like I said, I can control now, but my anxiety might be smarter than I am. Like for example, it might be the only thing keeping my violent thoughts in check. Controlling my anxiety is helping me walk into Starbucks without shaking hands and a trembling voice. But when I think about strangling someone and I feel fear, I start to think that maybe my anxiety knows a thing or two. 

I'm not interested in therapy; I don't feel a need for it, because a therapist can't prescribe medicine or give me a diagnosis. They'll just tell me what they think I want to hear and tell me I need them. I took one session of therapy because of an anxiety attack, but that's no longer a problem. It's too expensive anyways, and I've always felt like half of a therapists job is to convince people that they need to stay in therapy. Everybody thinks they need therapy these days. I just want to know with certainty if I have this disorder or not, but am I going to achieve that with just a 30 minute appointment with a psychiatrist? Is he just going to prescribe me therapy without a diagnosis? (My health insurance doesn't include mental health, this is all coming straight out of my checking account). Does it take time to do a diagnosis like this? Even if I am diagnosed, I'm not even that motivated to be treated, and there doesn't seem to be a real treatment anyways. I'm just really tired of the confusion about why I'm such a freak. I want to be diagnosed, not because I hope to change, but because I want to know that it's not something worse. I want to know that I'm not going to have a psychotic break and kill someone, or dissociate while I'm driving, or wake up one morning thinking I'm someone else. As empty as I am, I feel that my life is just chaos, and the only thing I have to take comfort in is the pride I take in having the discipline to keep showing up to work despite how much I don't give a rats ass about it. Nothing is enjoyable, everything I do takes conscious effort. Playing video games, socializing, and waking up at 4:30 to run all involve the same amount of pain (which is a little but not much) and require the same amount of self control. EVERYTHING is work. Sure I could lie in bed for the rest of my life and make Reddit posts like these, but my pride is telling me to find out what my problem is so I don't find myself in jail someday for murdering someone in cold blood because it turns out that xanax was the one thing my dark side needed to finally break through and finally do something about my annoying roommate. 

​

TL;DR Go back to twitter, I don't owe you anything. This IS the TL;DR. ",5.070622973281573,5.637582396467991,6.105159473243512,79.11377483443712,68.52317880794702,9.444743853238943,31.073228286518997,9.511738126063223,2.7217947628834587,8988,350,1777,181,145,2995,602,2265,0.149,0.711,0.14,-0.9879,11,6,10,0,0,0,306.0,1,8,22,27,116,124,11,11,113,2,207,51,16,26,19,435,387,174,2,85,120,1,18,23,2,22,31,7,1,12,128,103,1,12,76,14,11,33,74,48,3,8,44,30,256,74,229,286,43,202,1,7,4,4,110,87,4,55,98,1241,384,24,0.0,0.0,0.03901126014249777,0.0,0.02402196930121099,0.0,0.01771836071726444,0.0,0.020015326003500592,0.06210533739071975,0.0,0.0,0.04989542812521738,0.0649717196534132,0.07286366527929357,0.027185364944722457,0.0,0.16820036164097574,0.0,0.0,0.04192870749148333,0.0,0.04934583289519237,0.035587526594976465,0.07474519090557782,0.02273949830153333,0.01877960095084156,0.030739431602990787,0.0,0.15840032082822467,0.02207543068988802,0.03401702467314577,0.022519891491540208,0.0,0.035355931899694534,0.02182197129212109,0.02220241856250631,0.0,0.0,0.06123065585766034,0.0,0.1222760016021546,0.0,0.10572449000685888,0.034436182170817634,0.0,0.02160017670895063,0.08967400258152625,0.11171283170082233,0.022116597365111176,0.10978066562356836,0.038672266135019895,0.0,0.034431668058200166,0.08115053466545008,0.0,0.06265034119726619,0.2519906880592705,0.08183520540907431,0.03498367120715548,0.0,0.0,0.01958085673303352,0.046360004119775054,0.0,0.03339520425165846,0.04496813895519903,0.017703639801367826,0.02065318576336852,0.0,0.1188183422670714,0.0,0.03368189332318795,0.0,0.05389239939070308,0.03910465062187903,0.03768625046730716,0.02249231687892321,0.13138645192391735,0.0428387885558086,0.07676734514481448,0.04379225997973636,0.05480664291577988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030885715299665474,0.03695759485637163,0.03132907706434872,0.057523597426767034,0.09087817822757084,0.0,0.0,0.02203709518818985,0.04403857977133566,0.0,0.017675526617869582,0.0,0.0,0.01973423988792924,0.0615410746816476,0.0424931096183027,0.045056377964426436,0.0,0.06698844936332611,0.0,0.0,0.019852823406689847,0.019684381164274904,0.0,0.06419344391858288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059505704952863475,0.05329937421909553,0.02211401604454441,0.0416293333273438,0.153790125906194,0.0325861520375104,0.0,0.021164650504453084,0.0,0.020439320391531426,0.09882795050061674,0.2246005199572323,0.04006691701927737,0.01764997413114662,0.0,0.01678507983428115,0.0,0.0,0.01699327916868212,0.01804015882596459,0.0189133474210918,0.06671149685492396,0.0,0.16064691672939493,0.02177304325639189,0.0,0.0,0.04028687103313669,0.04240870865024431,0.02018241525642749,0.0,0.015954415246283618,0.0,0.029387299248707536,0.14821019980250935,0.07708077972401695,0.0,0.0,0.0187576007076643,0.03916844485752302,0.057537740049315174,0.0,0.0,0.02128681361758345,0.081267255551498,0.106413652397208,0.06380666102096004,0.0,0.0,0.021645306281103487,0.019081028158255287,0.16628787106167722,0.17452952284450693,0.0,0.0,0.01889533901594821,0.045067454220848895,0.038286399987486106,0.020335216775960428,0.0,0.1912603755060333,0.0,0.020093692892241537,0.06717417956019278,0.0,0.03998728010043903,0.1820078624236361,0.17926961605209388,0.08220492181138482,0.0394719333320306,0.0429197593096381,0.0226427691947887,0.05120952005508207,0.03802676978656445,0.01589544352112297,0.020011706157086327,0.0,0.015928032183003937,0.0181965347523852,0.04170416830627701,0.0,0.02051763183265877,0.01653447119539024,0.0,0.040005332424796015,0.10187742138659836,0.10161577932339573,0.10771541705911476,0.0,0.0,0.08488663647609182,0.042609589350137915,0.0478878811720839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056516013361111714,0.0831017012603366,0.12022929687325785,0.06426313159089883,0.17470594868161965,0.0,0.16000798858890658,0.046415753453876614,0.09295504733454536,0.12807651304042866,0.019638335423617717,0.07934211334036348,0.05827649104327121,0.04594706218135737,0.0189465057790984,0.0381992225011004,0.02220766004901609,0.10856557403060822,0.02174145550973836,0.01952559723562661,0.020808453342871312,0.0,0.01726341386083656,0.04402842495317278,0.0,0.2122123768584752,0.015865727353377348,0.016033353197429746,0.0,0.05391546034509412,0.01852929034514269,0.07214507785152767,0.04463229207194235,0.0,0.0770717654205203,0.0,0.058206680764192525,0.04059803756522743,0.020369714981466558,0.14199065777265332,0.0874159709596547,0.07286366527929357,0.03861529617775224
mentalhealth,skitz587,2019/01/27,What's wrong with me? Why do I laugh at shit that shouldn't be laughed at? Why do I not give a shit about people only what they will think about me and what they can do for me if I just keep being fake nice? Why don't I feel emotions unless I'm fucking with someone's head and why I find it funny? Why do I fantasize about hurting people or taking their lives and why are those thoughts my happy place?,3.0979457364341094,3.808371430232558,3.720930232558139,93.91457364341088,73.06976744186046,6.198449612403103,22.472868217054266,5.46131890053228,0.02653333333333352,317,7,73,1,6,100,56,86,0.202,0.6629999999999999,0.135,-0.7608,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,3,0,4,10,3,0,1,0,11,4,3,0,0,16,19,6,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,1,13,4,9,14,0,3,0,1,0,1,4,3,3,2,0,47,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960387029322504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174237212380281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968222287120618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117232140032628,0.0,0.13611101839086973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510414376629032,0.0,0.0,0.1456170810327291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189305635655134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611575821197538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528889330789672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079115198909624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19673327546203315,0.0,0.14824180204917728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912901023550328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022046453107768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066814279479234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091551329388407,0.0,0.11264249453580427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7681861368011031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15513125086743215,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,roommatelying,2019/01/27,"Worried about my Mental Health It all started when I was pretty young as a child. At funerals I wouldn't cry and I always felt like sometimes I wasn't feeling the way a normal person should feel. Other than a few depressive episodes that I never told anyone about in middle school, my years leading up to college were pretty average. One thing that I started doing towards the later years highschool was excessively smoking weed and nicotine. It wasn't a problem at first and it was pretty fun but I started to taper off of it after a while during my first year at college. I failed to make any meaningful friends and it made me extremely depressed. I would wake up at 4pm on some days, go to class then go back to my room and sleep again. The only thing I did was do school work, and hook up with girls on tinder. Eventually I was able to get out of my depression around spring time but I noticed my memory was getting extremely bad (remembering what I ate the day before was really hard). It started improving after a while and my memory was getting better but around September of 2018 I started falling in the same depressive cycle except it seemed worse. I would wake up late, lay in bed all day, walk around for a little then stay on my computer until I fell asleep. All of this would be manageable to deal with considering i've had it before but I noticed my emotions are more volatile. I go from super happy to super angry to super sad way more than before and i've been having to deal with a lot more intrusive thoughts that I can't shake. An example is earlier today when I started crying because I thought about my parents' inevitably dying and the simplicity of highschool life ending. Often times my excessive thoughts are something that annoyed me during the day that I can't forget about until the night or even days later. I'm also extremely obsessive with relationships which tends to scare girls away which often goes like this (meet them, obsessively text them, they ignore me for a little, I get angry and stop talking to them, feel stupid and sad about it and try texting them again). I don't want to be like this but I'm worried my emotions are becoming more controlling over my life. I was researching this online and I think it might be OCD but I'm not completely sure. I'm scared to go to a doctor because I'm all alone in a different state than my hometown. What should I do??",5.585444072056973,6.636919785714286,6.057755900013963,78.1757582739841,67.5930735930736,8.818433179723502,30.4876413908672,9.023248300946321,2.5854557184750737,1919,72,344,33,31,620,227,462,0.181,0.703,0.116,-0.9881,2,1,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,5,10,17,28,2,5,20,0,36,9,4,4,6,69,70,30,2,9,9,1,5,3,1,7,4,0,2,4,26,21,1,3,11,0,0,9,8,17,0,3,22,5,49,11,64,38,12,81,0,7,0,0,17,27,0,7,44,245,75,14,0.07356555042921578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619172403548467,0.0,0.058830344099742526,0.061212431170480835,0.0,0.0,0.05002709696208192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051438743344352576,0.0,0.0,0.1964668100532353,0.0,0.0,0.0691172562580839,0.056567367349638686,0.0614241617733009,0.08968975346179461,0.08124737069730897,0.1877965951693466,0.0,0.0,0.06506275111359706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713207998186461,0.0,0.08251002021208655,0.0,0.0,0.16161660554873872,0.2372184705035146,0.15168570448008406,0.2534476031521061,0.0,0.07634942684298429,0.07686034256927401,0.0,0.07529745810358199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16550268516096112,0.06515724226808557,0.0,0.0,0.04858935224526683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159085808344207,0.0,0.07063446503091354,0.0,0.0,0.12514963922822414,0.0,0.0,0.056836561774374086,0.0,0.15373985517257496,0.0,0.16723599051079294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831189637775195,0.06590028343787653,0.0,0.0,0.07819674002602976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298514517398818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392304771989852,0.10782123600069214,0.1474640157872299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254280024594068,0.0,0.06960950255671923,0.04910557615736251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413677203052882,0.07804142353786284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05673828766333881,0.0,0.0,0.06903628561076275,0.07207861997532834,0.0,0.1675097335056948,0.0,0.0,0.049849920862246086,0.05594991609208131,0.0,0.0,0.08168583785570799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423460107923283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22452783623787687,0.0,0.07039229651615928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04712797535853327,0.0,0.0,0.07898187002228615,0.08333542788930916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473038991873604,0.14890452902332044,0.0,0.06697131418191167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361867858993433,0.0,0.0,0.05663435480802216,0.07275821044074812,0.0,0.312420451401654,0.07841108854960066,0.0,0.0615040942061177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933466066700783,0.0,0.0,0.05912920282148061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774736570999824,0.04713783426830717,0.0,0.17520848906722142,0.08579332810752206,0.0,0.06973154001286318,0.07029503601752002,0.0,0.04994617977188212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04339086766083995,0.11678581947239215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355659687394601,0.14941877483532984,0.07496958076817194,0.15677656897847847,0.0,0.0,0.14212140760530412
mentalhealth,Jcup-bow,2019/01/27,"Don’t really know if I should be here So I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, but I’ve been wondering for awhile, so here we go.
I’ll have moments(sometimes days) where everything will go numb
I don’t know how to describe it, but I’ll try
-I’ll be able to feel things but it doesn’t feel real or it doesn’t feel like I’m feeling it
-I’ll see the world around me but if feels like I’m looking through someone else’s eyes
-I’ll hear people talking but not make the connection that they are
-I’ll be doing something then completely forget everything that was happening
-I’ll be in class and then not be able to remember anything

So basically everything stops feeling real
All senses
I stop feeling a connection to myself
And let’s just say I’m kinda in an abusive relationship with myself, so if I’m home alone and this happens...I get reckless
So it kinda causes some problems

Just wanting your opinions
Sorry",3.6387361878453035,5.817827856353596,4.337897099447513,84.11082354972376,74.30386740331491,7.39792817679558,27.33459944751381,8.278499904357787,1.9550135359116023,746,29,140,13,16,238,104,181,0.157,0.78,0.063,-0.9541,0,1,2,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,1,0,13,5,0,0,4,0,18,2,1,3,1,49,42,21,0,7,14,0,7,2,0,2,1,2,1,0,9,7,0,2,12,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,2,12,11,2,11,32,2,12,0,0,3,0,7,5,0,10,7,84,20,1,0.24503238647793735,0.14516165499200245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688982724493328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082038797947088,0.10906538692403434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585787909506566,0.0,0.0,0.12845589764293772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901280912735233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023465585166132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303289637803227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43363507950938185,0.17505118585962431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400965429796435,0.0,0.1392575520089741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083406650652783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808465398602268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289373117848992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20199508718664425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528110831289732,0.0,0.11971044696920255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288274582898928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178051034084342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493730216453553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172314507563794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789005002282516,0.07848701059530655,0.0,0.0,0.13153654113328808,0.13878696383523526,0.0,0.0,0.09742979430355428,0.0,0.0,0.09762954378644674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380757295130373,0.18863790231000185,0.1211716478442894,0.1371468477825485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048580469195241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847387529456587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139431483931568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318045303512063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226322505745515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328635853767581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395222439258705,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,glitter_rat,2019/01/27,"Been going through it for a while recently ended a very unhealthy relationship where my trust and consent were breached on a regular basis... around the same time my abusive father relapsed. my step mom abandoned my sister and i without telling us she was moving to another state (didn't find out about it till she was settled in another state).

i have been struggling with poor mental health for most of my life but it was really rough during that time and i almost took my own life.

i've recently been getting more and more depressed and am feeling hopeless. the suicidal ideation is back and i am struggling to not cut myself to feel something or to feel something other than complete despair. 

i have been having nightmares for the past few weeks and have not been getting any sleep.

i could really use a friend right now; someone to talk to or someone to give kind words.

thanks for taking the time to read this",6.661096256684492,7.7064336764705885,5.916096256684494,80.17334224598932,65.17647058823529,8.299465240641712,34.278074866310156,8.296473431620573,2.7319411764705888,735,32,127,9,11,223,110,170,0.17,0.7240000000000001,0.106,-0.9238,0,0,2,0,0,2,13.0,1,0,0,0,5,11,1,2,8,0,18,4,1,1,0,27,29,12,1,1,6,3,4,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,6,10,0,1,4,1,1,4,4,7,0,0,11,4,16,4,23,17,6,24,0,4,0,0,11,6,0,4,12,93,22,1,0.0,0.15501673377807834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101121508048216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897151345902454,0.27438142635570856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646987663606907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006031649069032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717681634476026,0.0,0.0,0.10446019371531616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126870146597584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587996924550395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19846059705203975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957978070775398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010819181593974,0.0,0.13671058710485282,0.12550776329037708,0.07435589952302273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390702785122836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136243335263484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482365358761396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184976165061746,0.0,0.0,0.1532310393142785,0.0,0.1390556911533056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489572658275515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086926869954205,0.0,0.16763104591443484,0.0,0.25836531198645885,0.14046660586827542,0.0,0.11173140430706684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092834984937252,0.0,0.22171021543157904,0.20144459970820647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735519217837116,0.0,0.1431110111434079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837078264977217,0.10515930333995177,0.11435456317106332,0.12045424314889674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288708333065519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453612360151929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573770282785882,0.11299845058481052,0.0,0.10795163916901132,0.0,0.0,0.10494703328051852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611917530564185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spazmanjack,2019/01/27,"What's happening? Okay so I'm officially diagnosed with psychosis and I've been on medication since I was 17 for it, I'm 22 now and no longer taking it since about 4 months ago and not seeing mental health doctors but I just feel like nothing is real everything feels like a dream and I don't remember anything about my life it all just feels like a blur. I abused mkat for 2 years and used to sniff so much of it my vision would be affected by going blury and id barley be able to make anything out but then I'd continue taking it anyway I stopped doing that about may last year then went on to abusing alcohol up till September last year then came off my medication around the same time now I don't drink or do any drugs. Could the drugs and alcohol messed with my brain that much that I just loose my memory every time I go to sleep? I feel like I'm just here going through life but I'm not even in control of it someone else is, can anyone explain what's happening to me? I don't want to go see the doctors again and go on medication because these feelings were 10x worse while I was taking them and they will probably just dope me up again ",2.174907550077041,4.21302504237288,3.4936363636363663,89.12139445300464,78.23728813559322,7.002773497688753,23.01540832049307,8.00094639256281,1.1361847457627126,914,29,194,16,22,298,135,236,0.11,0.8079999999999999,0.081,-0.7859,0,0,5,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,2,1,18,6,0,0,5,1,18,16,2,4,1,45,45,20,0,3,11,0,5,4,0,3,13,0,0,0,12,14,3,2,7,2,0,7,6,1,0,0,6,8,20,5,27,33,4,36,0,0,2,0,3,9,0,3,24,120,32,2,0.09524041444692027,0.2256886345835592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442488092941569,0.20356607716837227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476674775687859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659431223122199,0.0,0.15674949216117084,0.08478416099819548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805767265727563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631980041893488,0.0,0.10892966179136633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682022325903863,0.07604172115280923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666701586864966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194965199736662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329934775351656,0.22089728785606907,0.0,0.0795611452873466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290539550844956,0.0,0.08024415685692309,0.0,0.08559594336751715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24078207599313375,0.2721590844432579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706366117319851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844156791822534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123610691451396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552672986860488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454224263507253,0.18611862287844128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635737161972577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287834093266474,0.0959799369779511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601999016497651,0.0,0.14002532624204805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138574631000213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268527520188044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840444242085424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788882355914774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178855899233795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756771003555825,0.0,0.0953091959352136,0.0,0.08069689409404886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962525106108316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148268165447832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110709031342474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822571389584719,0.0,0.0,0.05617526403484455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828881836517677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705811893765064,0.06765605784210743,0.0,0.0,0.18399511297251567
mentalhealth,melanie_melody,2019/01/27,"Why can’t I just feel loved I just want someone to care about me. I don’t want romantic love. I want that platonic love where you care so much about someone just as a *human being*.

Why do I drive everyone away ",-0.2078787878787871,2.08037518181818,1.7518181818181835,95.56439393939397,92.63636363636364,5.660606060606061,18.69696969696969,7.1686216300943375,0.3945424242424238,164,5,37,3,6,54,29,44,0.0,0.516,0.484,0.9729,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,7,13,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,7,5,5,12,1,3,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447111328299274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220741115427946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977849621453444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046588535606754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5604415844411423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521592715477937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35075885058949435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662589111817479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735471707945435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,punchitchewy,2019/01/27,"Recently got diagnosed with ADHD and was prescribed Vyvanse and am confused about conflicting information I've received about when to take the pills... I was prescribed 10 mg pills and told to take 1-3 per day, and although my memory is foggy, I am pretty sure my Doctor told me to take one every 3 or 4 hours, up to a maximum of 3/day. However I was just reading an article about the difference between Adderall and Vyvanse and it said that only comes in a delayed release capsule that you take in the morning? I've thrown away the information sheet that came with the meds and can't remember what my doc told me with 100% certainty. 

I've been taking 10mg 3/day starting in the morning and then again every 4-5 hours and I think I've noticed a subtle improvement but I'm wondering if I should be taking the whole 30mg in the morning?",9.323889845094666,6.541785192771088,9.581462994836487,68.60596385542172,61.53012048192771,12.859208261617901,42.38898450946644,11.20814326018867,4.701414113597245,666,31,124,14,7,224,96,166,0.033,0.916,0.051,0.3939,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,12,0,10,4,0,0,1,28,27,15,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,14,0,2,5,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,10,1,11,1,18,15,1,18,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,4,9,75,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488689505735098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108557983817307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740265414548046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101740384370504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24934788448767264,0.0,0.0,0.13080895022563632,0.0,0.1346505872832974,0.0,0.1319125912748656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21717136555571698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307589837544236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538386958563173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315494415925914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672901029475266,0.0,0.0,0.08733139738581751,0.09801789594497147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111575272006892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891336215789298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272519567203172,0.0,0.14599420106261896,0.0,0.12259295288094335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122085558975614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146644766104545,0.0,0.5814034932188705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258012982143094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3694467484709138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438882268900302,0.0,0.0,0.13976322027206328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AxiiisB,2019/01/27,"Please help I need someone, literally anyone. I’m so alone, please someone help me.",1.7940000000000005,4.153084400000001,2.879999999999999,83.32000000000002,105.0,4.666666666666667,25.0,6.42735559955562,1.447000000000001,66,3,11,1,3,21,11,15,0.125,0.383,0.4920000000000001,0.7692,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30409271977912233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205299821780111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3936028808446432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177090310615728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6445939935832744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4975517404007198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ggnim613,2019/01/27,"I feel literally no emotions. I’m not depressed, though? Hello all!

 For most of my life I’ve had horrible mental health, I was depressed as long as I can remember until this year, was always super anxious etc. I got what I wished for and now I have no anxiety, I’m super motivated to do things, have my life together, I’m not suffering from psychosis anymore etc. But the problem is that I feel absolutely nothing and have felt no emotions at all minus annoyance in the past month and a bit now. Nada. I laugh and smile and put on a show of being a human but I feel like a lizard in a human skin. What the hell is going on? It’s not the worst I just don’t really like it. It’s like I’m on autopilot and nothing feels real. ",1.2796000000000018,3.3487077600000035,3.8859999999999992,85.01299999999998,81.4,6.933333333333334,23.333333333333336,8.021203637495839,1.416533333333334,564,20,116,11,15,198,87,150,0.126,0.675,0.199,0.9095,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,4,13,2,0,9,0,12,4,1,1,2,25,24,12,0,2,6,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,8,6,0,0,7,1,0,2,7,7,0,0,5,6,12,6,15,18,7,15,1,3,0,0,3,6,1,1,10,80,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246203027654604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457333201507812,0.16919701475458174,0.1485311962536147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350961029166242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25799266943041443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33694127710454125,0.0,0.0,0.3340653816416518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029120339186344,0.1069954302533034,0.14380230043981154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511751360068129,0.0,0.11978442869271225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591980784127917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115733916056027,0.21950958029309825,0.0,0.0,0.1325413806569393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093252791687548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954466369832838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874159358805893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429720274284763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433092778126774,0.0,0.15055981195049084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047059049181906,0.09594623911516564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965975792941734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950026552107023,0.0,0.14714786894857876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17222764556703554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644671028721524
mentalhealth,yallnasty,2019/01/27,"I’m feeling suicidal due to relationship issues, am I being ridiculous? About a week ago, I finally told this person that I’ve been flirting with, who knows I have feelings for, that we should stop messing around and get into a relationship. But, they told me that they weren’t over their ex at all, and didn’t want to get into a relationship for a long time. And I respected that, as they still wanted to keep flirting. So I was patient, but after awhile I told them that my mental health couldn’t handle it anymore. And today, I found out that they got into a relationship. I confronted them about it, asked them why we couldn’t gotten into a relationship. And they said “Cause I wanted your mental health to get better” I blew up, telling them that my mental health could’ve considerably risen if they would’ve gotten into a relationship with me instead of lying to me about not wanting to be in a relationship for a long time. They said sorry, but I told them that wouldn’t help. I just can’t believe I was replaced that quickly. And was lied too. Am I being ridiculous for being upset? Is it my fault?",4.983520249221184,6.194244018691593,5.633813084112152,80.08143613707166,69.09345794392523,7.949657320872274,26.88348909657321,8.238735603445708,1.7258539563862931,876,27,164,12,15,284,107,214,0.138,0.792,0.071,-0.9417,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,1,13,1,10,10,3,1,9,0,19,3,0,1,1,40,42,12,1,9,6,1,2,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,14,17,0,2,5,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,16,4,36,4,29,18,1,24,0,0,0,0,35,11,0,1,13,125,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817313519775063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745856888461348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785058102229492,0.08244365840726509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935741518635503,0.0,0.07799491410467244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059312995590503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041075667394903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918077027810425,0.0,0.0,0.0966053890266298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966933355409568,0.0,0.0,0.13822340655847076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053181400517194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812184199349516,0.0,0.0,0.059110401829266565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920451176682604,0.0,0.07838533999226054,0.0,0.0,0.04846569086636671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608679876857315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666175838348636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700215727083913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6627646147672756,0.0,0.0,0.16777352392212702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871898599866248,0.0,0.0,0.07042686527148624,0.07372892265678165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646310450507864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707999607905094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284599316769068,0.0,0.08359169233704893,0.3370687652969868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20806172122821065,0.0,0.07073890791458462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957574369795388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264606000522202,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iskiwesis,2019/01/27,"let it go I (22, F) just want to let it go; all the anxiety, fear, lows, and constant worrying. 
I’ve literally worked very hard my entire life to get to where I am now with my career (I’m a teacher), a home, a lovely partner,a beautiful daughter (2), and some great friends.
Ever since I’ve became pregnant, I’ve been plagued by moments of PTSD from my childhood it seems. Remembering things that I didn’t want too, fearing that I’ll end up like my abusive, unstable, alcoholic and drug using mother (even though I know I won’t)and constantly trying to avoid my father who I never had a problem with until I got pregnant because of all that shit that came up.
I try to distance myself but I get entangled with their bullshit literally every day some way or another.
I suffered with depression in high school and then went through a bad bout of it again before I got pregnant with my daughter. I’ve always had high-functioning depression but lately I’ve just been so tired of everything. Like I’m constantly tired but sometimes I feel happy, others I’m just wanting to lie in bed and eat like shit or workout super hard just to forget.
I’ve talked to a counselled and it works but he said that my attitude was generally positive and I seemed happy when I came in so I wasn’t considered “high-need”. 
Anybody else feel this way? 
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mentalhealth,fragrantjellyfish,2019/01/28,"am i depressed? most of my friends would say i'm a happy person. that's because i am when i'm around them. when i'm home, i usually stay in bed, watching youtube. if i don't stay busy, my self hating thoughts get the best of me and i end up feeling like shit. all of this immediately goes away when i talk with my friends. unlike most people, i don't want the school year to end, because then i won't see my friends every day and i'll get sad as fuck. am i depressed? i don't have a diagnosis, but from what i've heard it'd be hard to go from legitimate depression to happy and chill in a matter of minutes. either way, does anyone know what this means?

tl;dr: i'm happy when with friends, but when alone i turn into a self hating piece of shit. am i depressed?",1.255424430641824,3.0629388074534205,3.034509316770187,92.4238964803313,80.18012422360249,5.535569358178054,22.53457556935817,6.42735559955562,0.3295512215320908,592,19,134,5,15,197,93,161,0.215,0.614,0.171,-0.8365,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,1,6,19,5,0,6,0,12,3,2,0,1,21,30,13,0,3,4,0,2,1,4,2,0,2,2,3,6,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,10,0,0,2,6,18,9,19,24,6,21,0,5,2,1,11,6,3,3,12,78,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946505178899933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065353836503503,0.0,0.0,0.10268358291730026,0.0,0.0,0.10837261793078687,0.0,0.0,0.14062932920727308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104991137812653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438948841953268,0.0,0.3973939613475961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094122988751353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043270032414539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718510435483442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058323078212136524,0.08240415894049065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564682585589989,0.10663675222638036,0.12052844316576365,0.0,0.06555454847711463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683681479148212,0.10332855534479143,0.22776322512148076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570278152749153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339187854488272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0563528813040885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564706269276266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996731828090099,0.10071684348555178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917288302378899,0.0,0.11673766079307205,0.09191689166753084,0.0,0.24066485277339486,0.0,0.2368047629196973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458898226281688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927118183337153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915728993109524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546477730723507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703879299764076,0.0,0.06803484653868269,0.09155734528983944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193943707758765,0.0,0.0,0.0742799017208472
mentalhealth,KaienPanzermast,2019/01/28,"Help coping with Intrusive Thought OCD? Thanks to this subreddit, I found out that what I’m afflicted with is Intrusive Thought OCD, and I need some tips to cope with it and calm my anxiety when it flares up. It tends to be worse at night after I’ve taken my sleep medicine, and there doesn’t seem to be any way to calm me when I get there. My intrusive thoughts often are things like “maybe I don’t actually love my partner”, even though I am 100% certain that I do. That turns into an impulse control issue, where I fear talking to them and calling them because I am afraid that I’m going to let lose the words “I don’t love you anymore” because my impulse control is so poor that the compulsion feels overpowering. My partner understands this, but I don’t ever want to say it to them. I know 100% that I love them, and that I’m as in love with them as I always was.. The intrusive Thought comes along and I can’t throw it away. I’ll obsess over the thought for hours, going on days and weeks and I’ll be crippled by it and unable to talk to them because of the anxiety caused by this thought and the compulsion to say something. It isn’t always the same intrusive thought, it ranges from that one to intrusive thoughts about other things as well. Telling people things that I never wanted to tell them, and the only way to calm it being by just doing it.

I feel like this Intrusive Thought OCD is taking control of me and close to ruining my relationship. I try to reassure myself that I love them, because if I didn’t, these thoughts wouldn’t be so distressing. I get upset over the prospect of not loving them and of telling them that, and that’s how I know I still love them.

But the reassurances never work, and I always end up being anxious. Are there any tips to help control this sort of thing? I just want to be able to spend time with my partner without always having those intrusive thoughts and compulsions. ",7.4695112781954895,6.371405129629633,7.090640490114176,79.66088972431079,63.841269841269856,10.391757170704539,35.503202450570875,9.414487439383343,3.0147068783068787,1521,59,305,23,19,478,167,378,0.084,0.758,0.158,0.9842,1,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,11,6,18,24,0,5,11,0,27,8,1,6,4,71,69,28,0,6,7,0,2,2,3,1,0,3,0,3,35,26,0,4,18,0,2,4,12,7,1,1,15,5,47,17,52,45,2,31,0,2,0,7,35,12,0,5,15,214,82,1,0.0663347970387085,0.0,0.0647331930002675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207834604240069,0.0,0.0,0.09021987340687587,0.0,0.10149187633657628,0.07493943920444764,0.06578629397071098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06232372542585592,0.0,0.0,0.16174830630988246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773524445145163,0.0,0.0,0.0681441093195671,0.0,0.05714155396450575,0.0,0.0,0.2976004617647687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04278045634912882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587529409654074,0.0,0.0,0.04381350782569615,0.06000362166031379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464508883989553,0.06708173304082005,0.04738959225877252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273268106294252,0.0,0.0,0.06931438716988825,0.0,0.07539918768619137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892563235507302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532641295581859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923629378708218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291173929532095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783182429208208,0.0,0.06481566226618073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421167010236875,0.0,0.0,0.4190882094757744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664221962810453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918641147904107,0.10232296977354542,0.0,0.0,0.06225071337843965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04495017523146977,0.05045060230837383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598819593676226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121874691479638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550418617795757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038870786329885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638270323580406,0.0,0.0,0.051067767585361135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05297505460326315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987551190575786,0.10663479428452254,0.17393860930909194,0.06107216875218961,0.0,0.0,0.1762795663897072,0.0,0.0651736012903705,0.579286610980027,0.0386803536035778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045036972858845885,0.07215321066162883,0.0,0.06905686313956154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117377945906275,0.10530694851735606,0.05320977293117623,0.0,0.05964294902666164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394437718256245,0.0,0.04829252228779948,0.0,0.06760082532270077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imperfecttruth,2019/01/28,"A letter, with nowhere to send...I still love you and have hope. To the person I thought I could be and believed I was becoming....

I still love you. I still have hope and belief in you. 

I know your pain. Your hurt. The deep, deep scars. Only I can truly understand. Because they live with me too. 

I know you’ve tried. You’ve sought help. You really have. You are in such a deep hole. Sure, therapy and such sent a rope down to save you. But the climb up is so hard. Some days you have so much strength to climb out. But then you lose your footing. You just barely hang on to the rope, with every last ounce of strength you have. You hope tomorrow the strength to keep climbing will return. 

Yes, part of the reason you are in this hole is because you didn’t have a good map to help navigate the walk of life. And you could have been more cautious, maybe searched for a different path to avoid this hole, but there will always be ‘what I should have done’ that unfortunately won’t save you today. 

So, baby (because I know how much you love to be called baby), keep hanging on. The days you have the strength to climb, keep climbing. The days you don’t, please be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best. I know you’re working and you are trying. And when you reach the opening, I’ll be here. Even if it’s just a party of one to hug you and celebrate your journey. I’ll be here. 

*Maybe a symptom of my mental health is writing a letter to myself. But I need this. Sometimes Reddit is just a place to put your thoughts out into the universe. Anyway...",1.1244746543778774,3.486639364516133,1.910092165898618,97.14370967741935,84.38709677419354,4.704147465437789,19.50230414746544,6.025991092188313,-0.2153115207373273,1193,33,262,9,35,369,150,310,0.041,0.7390000000000001,0.22,0.9956,1,1,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,27,1,12,19,21,0,1,21,1,35,9,1,2,1,49,53,19,0,8,8,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,6,15,0,4,9,0,0,11,3,4,0,1,7,1,43,17,33,34,6,39,1,2,0,4,39,16,0,5,12,178,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781938328283694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301223669424025,0.11656282639906887,0.0,0.11890967108771662,0.1107597980138528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777016326884016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853336817253156,0.0,0.0,0.20419754011955726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026890705488376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800609032388472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970948329772639,0.0,0.08892367128359364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852360655884425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454488474016624,0.0,0.0,0.1121861908194541,0.0,0.0,0.14148513075139113,0.0,0.0,0.31448100480486235,0.0,0.0,0.11298487391637682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28143168717995937,0.0,0.10990573234810944,0.23201245117536298,0.08603080130848527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454742268132193,0.0,0.0,0.09319550315905234,0.0,0.0,0.1180744805478322,0.0,0.0,0.28576727643267663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120622121639014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636149347129699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517100023029992,0.0782580418603776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715179780170507,0.0802694327276212,0.11230410942933118,0.0,0.0,0.11429168082118805,0.0,0.0,0.0921551871789994,0.11026890705488376,0.11585340187040982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609884215701502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761289581569509,0.10851473482959807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043837182658853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252857887943167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947206839315556,0.1096985299352843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069645375931295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16757708809123031,0.0,0.0,0.10004145762871204,0.0,0.0,0.14331215477079826,0.0,0.0,0.10987292473298227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683581942854738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kllisp123,2019/01/28,"I really need help So I have a very long story to tell first of all. So if your going to read through it, let me just start off by saying thank you. But anyway, some background information- I am 14 years old and a freshman in high school. I’m going to start from the beginning. During my eighth grade year from October of 2017 to around March of 2018 I had reached my lowest point. I am really into fitness and was keeping up with it which was what makes me happy, but nothing could make me happy during those months. It was horrible, I woke up and really wish I could just sleep all day and not have to deal with anything or anyone. Kids my age claim to be depressed all the time but really don’t know what they are saying in most cases. They think a week of sadness is depression, when for me it was months and I can’t even explain how terrible it was. I vividly remember all of those months. But any way after March everything got better. It was the end of my eighth grade year, I was hanging out with friends a lot and was the best few months of my life. Summer was great, but when high school started everything went downhill. My best friend stopped hanging out with me and every time I would ask him to hang out with me he would just kind of put it aside. That really got to me, and all of the others I knew from middle school found their other “clique” I guess you could say, except for me. That made me an extremely angry person towards everyone constantly and I still am now. But then in December of freshman year I did shrooms (yes I know I am very young, but was not new to this) and shit went downhill. Most of the trip was okay, except for about 15 minutes of it which still fucks me up today. I constantly think about what the point of life is, and thinking life is just an endless circle of a bunch of random shit happening. You really can’t explain the thoughts I have, and it may sound easy to flush out those thoughts but it’s impossible. I feel like I am way to grown up for people my age, I feel like I know too much and know so much shit I shouldn’t know. I’ve lost all my friends now and moved to a different school starting the second semester, (went from a big school to a small one), thinking it would help. But if anything, it was way worse. I’m still an extremely angry person and don’t even know who I am anymore. I feel like I have a matured mind in a teenage body I can’t explain it. I just don’t know what to do anymore.",3.6399206349206352,4.735478267605637,4.253321596244131,89.15757237871678,72.158953722334,7.534294656829869,25.073161189358373,7.8897218956490685,1.1572929130337584,1917,56,412,25,36,609,218,497,0.114,0.755,0.131,0.7584,2,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,4,3,5,23,24,4,0,22,2,45,9,5,4,6,99,93,34,0,11,21,0,3,3,3,5,3,4,0,3,28,26,0,2,23,1,0,12,9,9,0,3,26,8,55,15,65,57,16,80,0,4,1,1,28,24,4,10,44,284,83,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04346389625477373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267715658714774,0.04469034463241881,0.0,0.10519199900010458,0.056897252144056124,0.05975121595147045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341481692403336,0.05652697910084493,0.0,0.07099434706637438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813724281010492,0.0,0.1530910348452281,0.0,0.0,0.04121941754683733,0.06589280733051228,0.1100985365768241,0.0,0.0,0.06677681013690127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660907368528172,0.0,0.0,0.08442954691836857,0.0,0.05385053024081605,0.06107282529319735,0.11488405180759236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695092806196806,0.13698110474189645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054365446588483454,0.0,0.07007869961853334,0.1481400225748755,0.05908771399352261,0.0,0.0,0.07264790666480975,0.0,0.10223616301094662,0.0704657098378957,0.07040877568798266,0.0,0.0565191791046172,0.13607586073831426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568077770715378,0.13505787370808134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680994108934718,0.0,0.0665568782532133,0.24587928434975986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653566728143603,0.13543362014393395,0.09367585369080214,0.0,0.0,0.0565621189098813,0.0,0.0,0.06976997731239303,0.05433762793457676,0.0,0.06047722896583089,0.08532654490234379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453519418700471,0.0,0.20406304656349167,0.06793075557500353,0.09396868707490176,0.04739162237633385,0.0,0.061728801577557675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061327467170237175,0.0,0.06706727627965936,0.0,0.04330996440404238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044310108220287234,0.11161495296801513,0.0,0.0,0.1208392907518992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425149598098116,0.0,0.0,0.06393156749339357,0.0,0.24567071320169345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724024101353207,0.0,0.0,0.15248158180635174,0.0,0.3234232743027734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968212433082924,0.0,0.0,0.06396042950626726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809554010017583,0.0,0.15312605906572185,0.053435192768524827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05586389032503211,0.058843673937075215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381473743042144,0.0,0.10148158437077076,0.07453785125775805,0.0,0.06058325597229616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547193507134296,0.0,0.15219652098014366,0.05126817325470676,0.0,0.0,0.1777475097075438,0.0,0.0,0.07349825782595339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513410288910958,0.136208593803169,0.0,0.0,0.16463478103799958
mentalhealth,throwaway29822929,2019/01/28,"My family is controlling and I believe I’m hurting myself mentally as a result. I don’t really know if this post should go here but I really don’t care anymore.

So I’m a 19 year old male in a shit situation mentally and my family only make it worse.

My father is a piece of shit and I’m tired. Today I cried my eyes out cause I didn’t want to go to my cousins birthday song my fathers side of the family is there and whenever I’m around they always push me to get a job and support my siblings and mom because my lazy piece of shit dad doesn’t want to work. Not only that but my grandmother gives him 20 dollars everyday so he can get by on the streets but he sleeps in my moms car. Currently where living with my moms sister and she’s a bitch through and through but that’s for another time. My mom works and is able to afford the rent my aunt is asking for so where in a cool situation but my fathers side of the family always tell me I should work to help out my father but I say I want to go to school since my fafsa and bogfeewaver pay for it so my mom is fine since it doesn’t come out of her pocket. But my grandpa on my dad’s side is always nagging at me to help my dad but last time I told him I want to go to school and he told me “sometimes life is going to be hard” in Spanish and I understand that perfectly but the reason it pisses me off is because he was very wealthy in Tijuana because his father owned many grocery stores but he drank and partied all the money away. 

I already applied to my schools spring semester for 14 credits which will be my first time being full time. But I feel guilty for not getting a job and helping my siblings. Sometimes the things my grandparents,uncles,aunts, and cousins say to me get into my head and I just hurt. I already went to my family doctor about what she said was depression since I told her that since middle school I would hear my parents fight about bills and my dad would trade my PS3 in and get cash and after I would get it back only for him to pawn it by next week and this was the cycle for all my middle school years. I would sell birthday gifts to buy my school supplies and those of my little sister. I love my dad but I always hate him. I’m just tired I guess. I just want to go to school and advance in medicine to become an Rn is that so much to ask for? I love them but I don’t really love myself at the moment. Thanks for reading I’m really glad I can rant on here.",2.1496819292371754,3.699080690661482,3.649681476789432,90.18664509999095,76.72373540856032,6.804741652339156,22.848430006334272,7.5712925761633665,0.8371446565921632,1921,56,421,26,43,635,219,514,0.133,0.742,0.125,-0.7996,7,0,0,0,1,1,22.0,0,0,2,7,18,22,8,0,18,1,31,15,7,5,3,71,77,42,0,12,19,22,2,0,0,7,4,5,1,1,17,29,1,1,4,2,11,11,8,11,0,1,10,9,78,11,64,57,7,59,0,3,1,3,57,29,5,2,18,268,95,17,0.05725593675839478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636669994389788,0.0,0.19056610424178985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060037841928268325,0.0,0.0,0.056782504135171025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096992267848341,0.10705314377154747,0.0,0.05379383733469612,0.04402628116914812,0.0,0.10470806285257768,0.06323468377915555,0.0,0.06450783394503566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837624343333545,0.058817618924522114,0.0,0.049320919730243606,0.0,0.0,0.06421740164566132,0.0,0.0,0.06289295799743032,0.0,0.0,0.04931445443205943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586038774139915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698790076396817,0.0,0.028950321973454343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048701870557481736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948318282771725,0.054925111756139885,0.1952392099402568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307386943075884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051290073123423145,0.05652838381571496,0.05876110945226775,0.0,0.06453160196144445,0.0,0.11513234251741038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225873289906244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136353649934652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03146636547030838,0.046671230306173185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040441561391669344,0.0,0.05738549030620345,0.05055804113505129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502715503641207,0.0,0.038218782385863785,0.05804853319838745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540103502483205,0.0,0.0,0.3352873056694613,0.0,0.0,0.04208970146993909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608923382969933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060080474142683776,0.0,0.0,0.1306371598682478,0.0,0.0,0.06357594198690979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05483536041178886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727143102802601,0.0,0.1467184768379165,0.058868638950430985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054463507334822164,0.09106443799060814,0.0,0.4056224532365044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631718887771705,0.18945081021227614,0.1287161436922928,0.05729728631117381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132551709691289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649733585198785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500442123844046,0.05271357398942396,0.0,0.0,0.03803830024201592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354558865546606,0.1316145532304479,0.05427193328599595,0.1641315036657348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596054494045504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047242144152456915,0.16885517475135225,0.0,0.045927258842718664,0.0,0.0,0.053076826997716056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504901162508106,0.0,0.0583486910683281,0.16269189888033975,0.0,0.0,0.07374189212556298
mentalhealth,Erycidae361,2019/01/28,"Alternatives to cutting? My friend has been cutting since around  June of last year, and recently been forced to stop because of her family finding out and taking anything sharp away from her. Right now I'm trying to help find an alternative before there is a possibility of her cutting again in the future. She's tried pressing her fingernails into her palms and snapping a rubber band on her arm but doesn't make thw urge to cut go away. She has gone to therapy but therapy hasn't been much help yet because of how recent her family found out. What other alternatives can I suggest to her?

If someone can direct me to a more helpful reddit or have any ideas I need to know",6.421802325581398,7.0688161705426396,6.797974806201553,75.04486918604654,65.58914728682171,9.550775193798447,31.62887596899225,9.516144504307137,2.8731155038759684,542,20,97,10,8,176,89,129,0.076,0.833,0.091,0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,4,0,5,0,11,2,2,2,0,20,19,8,0,2,4,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,5,1,0,2,2,4,0,0,5,2,14,1,21,14,2,21,0,0,0,0,16,9,0,2,10,67,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106767546009435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920023928865526,0.13976611646807272,0.0,0.0,0.2950193109615841,0.0,0.0,0.19141536208997176,0.0,0.13359814202528286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960172496394925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28699612363890314,0.0,0.0,0.17214588268720513,0.1213002671105032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922852511723806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157077654411152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772374792972777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628484153079985,0.12797854632482125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480084154543012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541540203743066,0.11641586830750948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17699749485933244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100433977383159,0.0,0.0,0.13407985754392646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987465260702447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302828459670213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312616882985932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804685178678798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35909363771448155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131897060040005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110490012326774
mentalhealth,Quick_Bath,2019/01/28,"Mental health class not for me - what do I do? I've depression and anxiety, I'm socially isolated with no friends or family. I can't take antidepressants, I'm currently between therapists but had no luck with therapy.

I started going to a recovery college (peer based support for mental health recovery - classes and groups to teach coping skills etc)...I don't think it's for me. 

Everyone else has more typical mental health issues, like depression that keeps them from getting out of bed in the morning - thus classes teach coping skills, mindfulness, behavioural techniques, etc. 

Things includes encouraging people to do a task they struggle with due to depression then rewarding themselves. Mindfulness meditation sitting focusing on tensing then relaxing different body parts, or tapping different parts of your body and repeating affirmations about loving yourself.

I can cope with my mental health problems okay for the most part, I don't think the techniques they're teaching are beneficial to me.  A big reason for being referred to the recovery college was social interaction. 

Some methods are infantile, and it feels like most students have no understanding of themselves or mental health - it's like mental health 101, while I very much understand myself and my mental health.

Some techniques are fluffy nonsense IMO...I know they do help some people and that's great for them, but they don't help me and if anything it makes me worse by making me uncomfortable. I don't like being made to do things when I see no benefit, I don't want to look like an idiot waving my arms around like a tree etc.

The teacher who leads one of my classes was watching me not participate in one activity, then started explaining to the class that these exercises are 'clinically proven' and it felt aimed at me. I don't like feeling as if I'm seen as being seen as unwilling to participate, but I know what's going to be useful for me and this isn't it. 

I don't know if I should keep going to this one class in particular - I'm two weeks in, there may be some useful points - I don't want to do these ridiculous mindfulness techniques, I also don't see much use to keeping mood journals when I'm already understanding of my mental health...but that means I'm not participating with half the class, it's not especially fair to other students or the teacher. 

I just feel if I continue I'm going to get progressively stressed out by being pressured into participating in this nonsense, but if I drop out I'm only doing one class (which isn't much better but the social interaction is still beneficial). So it'll be another thing that hasn't helped and I'll be back to having nothing to do.

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mentalhealth,poormansnigella,2019/01/28,"I quit a job today that I worked long and hard for because of anxiety Today I handed my notice in to a job I worked very hard to get.

A few years ago I (31f) decided to go back to university with the open university, completely changing careers and doing a part time degree (I won’t say what in to avoid people recognising me) while working a full time job in a bar. 

I was doing really well, despite being a world class procrastinator, with grades in the 80-95% area.

Last summer I got a job in my desired field, entry level but with opportunity to move up the ladder. I was ecstatic, it was lower pay but I was confident in my abilities that I would move up positions swiftly.

As it turned out, the people are difficult to work with, I find the commute hard and they are stalling me learning more of the more technical stuff that was agreed upon when I accepted the position and instead giving menial tasks (I believe in an attempt to not have to give me a raise). My grades have slipped and I don’t have the energy to work harder.

I have always struggled with anxiety but I have had my systems in place to not let it affect me too much anymore. This job has undone YEARS of hard work - I can’t get to sleep, making exercise difficult and I have put weight on, I’m miserable and snapping at my partner constantly. I’ve had to take a lot of sick days as being so run down has affected my physical health and I am no longer the employee I want to be.

So I decided to make a change, some people might view it as a step backwards but I see it as a positive change to focus on what is important. Jobs, money, possessions all that bullshit...is ultimately inconsequential.
All that matters is love, and the relationships you have that fill your life with joy.

It might take me another 4 years to get an opportunity like this again, but that’s ok, I have love in my life.

Stay healthy everyone x",4.799354838709679,5.666983322580652,6.1685763440860235,77.33986451612907,69.26881720430107,9.822967741935487,30.20258064516129,9.98439552973466,2.9324521290322583,1484,57,289,36,25,503,198,372,0.101,0.72,0.18,0.9896,8,1,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,2,1,10,8,14,0,3,25,1,34,11,2,4,2,44,51,22,0,3,7,0,6,1,1,4,5,1,0,1,18,17,2,1,5,2,2,7,6,5,1,0,8,9,40,9,49,35,10,50,0,1,2,2,10,24,0,4,18,202,58,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198407781169658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675697644555778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851514041000097,0.12424449123221384,0.0,0.08053437299097599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06244227871038183,0.0,0.04950232656675495,0.0,0.0,0.0914911738905084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577150348171936,0.0,0.08514277862658594,0.08775466454119897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05237104904980365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759566047738918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422066693418264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728009984418576,0.1558000832865765,0.046151150473986144,0.0,0.0649477288419475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909779300908073,0.0,0.0,0.08631801096148782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4835055978280267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661935983041121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830384736466383,0.11471617319662415,0.03967307174140024,0.0,0.0,0.07186461333240028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903830153781601,0.14658288285081186,0.0,0.10841105804693224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17229312756897494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726179137862029,0.059695636338788174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245338749471772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793801167388797,0.0,0.1688937148398514,0.0,0.08484281940896594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163429877968784,0.0,0.08637240706243657,0.0,0.0,0.05202254073809813,0.0,0.0,0.08718468212451191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457814362933917,0.0,0.0,0.06471054102264504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126448626094776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865546210580342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489397603736326,0.09296125890137373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211337153974527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470355712453613,0.0,0.1539472830501155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832863548305578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670033228723149,0.047897308623480905,0.0,0.0,0.09888683659501148,0.07301380292578025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547129136958707,0.0,0.0,0.05768629909245183,0.0,0.0,0.1568816962887855
mentalhealth,ta_14322,2019/01/28,"I am scared of myself and scared to seek help. 17M  Growing up, I watched my father beat and rape my mother. This happened regularly as he abused alcohol and heroin. I have always known I am different than other people. It seems like my brain shut my emotions down to protect me when I was young and never turned back on. I hardly feel anything, and whenever I do they are very selfish thoughts. This has not been a problem until recently for me. I learned to hide this truth about myself and managed to put on an act for my friends and family to hide who I really am, because I know they would think I am a freak. This has not always worked, and I imagine most of them have noticed something is off about me. Recently, however; I have begun to feel disgusted with myself. I have faced urges to harm not myself, but others. I feel like doing this is the only way for me to feel anything. I am afraid that if I do not get help I will act on these urges. I am also afraid to turn myself in to get help. I still have hopes for personal accomplishment in the future and fear this would ruin my life even more.",3.942454545454545,5.1391722909090936,4.844318181818182,84.82147727272728,71.54545454545455,7.6818181818181825,26.022727272727273,8.07648339933343,1.4998181818181813,864,27,173,12,16,281,125,220,0.138,0.7490000000000001,0.114,-0.6709999999999999,2,0,2,1,1,0,22.0,0,0,3,3,7,17,2,5,5,0,24,5,2,0,2,34,38,15,0,5,6,2,5,2,1,3,2,0,0,1,12,10,1,1,11,0,0,4,5,12,0,0,3,6,38,5,30,32,2,24,0,1,1,1,12,9,0,4,12,132,50,4,0.0,0.15814612771951034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264425365784145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673996240378793,0.2221238954748924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967721372438795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026340871633304,0.0,0.08136516162718536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900231699474856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394530357034317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150141484485081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815902254610282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582841365695185,0.15019655801521387,0.26995601626349985,0.09535461412978898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312250522743094,0.0,0.13947042646276372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803156043911295,0.0,0.11956744234968182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26839657049051063,0.0,0.0,0.1325708578009078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335440583739243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427738674876776,0.13041835074692565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294419971047887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196224780151035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151380263964807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253480498691843,0.11654527963656147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771761237554985,0.0,0.13417930782655454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550754538181428,0.0,0.2635810511024958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672636528274025,0.0,0.0,0.12151068750829905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027556271423802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659336047069633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552543308372583,0.0,0.10596429343872983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903650878992897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101309084475576,0.0,0.10594629498209293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717143804407632,0.0,0.0,0.18963371521546585,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Big-man-kage,2019/01/28,"Why do people think I’m weird Like some ppl just think I’m weird cuz I’m quiet or clingy but like they don’t understand why I am so I’m just labelled creepy n idk what do do, wrong sub probably but idk where to put it ",-1.656171428571426,0.28366424000000023,0.6477142857142866,103.141,96.6,4.457142857142856,13.142857142857142,6.18269132825596,-1.071514285714286,172,3,45,2,7,57,33,50,0.197,0.705,0.098,-0.4678,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,10,12,5,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,12,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975046153544313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108633414595945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32827820052646645,0.0,0.0,0.3060839455095161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901937254515511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31697177483965355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5494871001639808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33289830589338204,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ceik0,2019/01/28,"I'm 30, with a masters degree and no job prospects in my field. What do I do? I guess it's best to just start from the get go;

I'm 30 years old, have my masters and undergraduate degree in History, and have little job prospects in the area that my wife and I want to live in. I've been hunting for a job in my field that pays more than 10 or 11 dollars an hour, and unfortunately I have run into the wall that most in my field run into - an abundance of history degrees and due to the state of humanities support today, few job prospects.

I know a lot of people will say ""You should have got a science degree, you should have got a more marketable degree."" I thought about this stuff too late. I was happy to be out of a terrible home environment in my late teens and by the time I finished my degree, I was very optimistic about finding something.

I married my wife in 2015, we had our first (and only for the time being) daughter in 2018, and I finished my masters program in History - thinking that with more education I would be more marketable as an employee. I've had to take jobs unrelated to my field because that's what I had to do to provide for my family. We aren't hauling ourselves over to the west coast for more opportunity, as her family is here and I want to be sensitive to her needs as well - she's much closer to her family than I am mine, and I want to respect that.

Now, I'm 30. Pushing 31, working a part time position at a community college teaching one to two students a night in the continuing ed program. I work in retail during the day, so I'm at around 60 hours a week to provide for my wife and daughter. We're thinking of trying to move to Raleigh in the next year to look for better jobs. My wife stays at home to avoid daycare costs.

I have a lot of debt. My family was poor, and I was financially irresponsible mostly because I thought it would pay off with having a good career at the end of it. Somewhere in the realm of $100,000 of debt along with my wifes.

I don't want my life to be working in a menial job for the next ten years while I just keep searching for a job that may turn up. I don't really know what else to do, though, as I don't have time (or money) to go back to school, and I don't even know what I would go back to school for. For a time I thought computer science or systems, but I just don't know how I would manage it.

I don't really know what I'm asking - is this normal? I don't want to talk to my wife about it because we've talked about it in one way or another before. She's already stressed with our daughter and I don't want to add to that.

Either way, I feel like I might have a mental breakdown at any point. I just want to take some steps in the right direction - I feel like starting over at this point is basically wasting the past ten years. 

​",6.068330474556888,4.874896945111495,6.825020583190392,80.74344282447116,66.6843910806175,9.76304173813608,32.983933676386506,8.745826893841286,2.4132241738136075,2201,79,478,29,30,733,240,583,0.042,0.8859999999999999,0.07200000000000001,0.8574,11,1,1,0,0,0,64.0,4,2,0,10,20,13,0,2,34,0,48,1,0,1,0,77,89,28,0,15,10,9,2,2,0,9,1,1,2,1,23,28,0,2,13,0,9,8,10,3,1,6,13,4,65,10,97,62,15,85,0,0,1,0,25,39,0,12,35,324,88,26,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131034528588523,0.0,0.0,0.07001630109514152,0.0785209988946725,0.04394416618887352,0.06776024443187892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057525958769378126,0.060411458475039474,0.0,0.0,0.09937837462620304,0.0,0.118176198627462,0.0,0.05498729881049202,0.0,0.06781524381149891,0.057151594261172174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041674886307226634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053982148429136616,0.0,0.05723459597920848,0.0,0.0,0.04268124076226351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436738821698045,0.0,0.06534814811120719,0.09232981777532584,0.0,0.0,0.05906198008726338,0.054966177118882895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0337615520178878,0.0,0.11017598370745024,0.05420062215272727,0.10336585821783892,0.0,0.07118678274610507,0.0,0.0,0.06878973992031055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963929092761425,0.0,0.12727638109209266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5130071208930324,0.05743768293980765,0.0,0.0,0.17756872558797093,0.0,0.14578951137210944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04564338085936581,0.06314063912330585,0.06476673253241498,0.05706109872172209,0.0,0.054264957577797986,0.0,0.0,0.10987610214553452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512228029712579,0.06855215460860094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868138085977127,0.04750351391836157,0.04791529313107122,0.0,0.0,0.1374493017907826,0.060641975892411326,0.06331438454766318,0.0,0.0,0.06780836023978745,0.0,0.08757706682572895,0.049146813633169695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997772061254118,0.06168759361118858,0.044799728677463214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217454790109472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279511333109085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551855668010775,0.0,0.051388827272203605,0.0,0.13079882237892745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04974802958424118,0.0,0.0,0.09147746635257233,0.06887687104622138,0.0,0.0,0.07402258169857356,0.0,0.07397502944818203,0.0,0.07333059472935746,0.0,0.0,0.09717317044139084,0.1038790444855195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281243360733531,0.06348932797356709,0.15390441238489547,0.18840371004892936,0.0,0.06125269242094794,0.0,0.0,0.043873087939892336,0.07028856416315409,0.06312485350879626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053318692551960464,0.2668039783937148,0.10258551407227223,0.05183467935084971,0.0,0.0581016036722211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411335138229003,0.0,0.0,0.1836182394495391,0.0,0.0785209988946725,0.16645397218865415
mentalhealth,01101000-01101001-,2019/01/28,"Afraid of losing friends I have a few friends I’ve confided in about my mental health. I feel like if I keep telling them when I’m having bad days that’s what our whole relationship will be about, which makes me afraid of losing them... I don’t want to be a burden",3.343,4.390827618181824,3.717954545454546,92.8969318181818,72.81818181818181,6.954545454545455,22.84090909090909,7.1686216300943375,0.4529090909090905,209,5,48,2,4,65,42,55,0.198,0.631,0.171,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,2,2,3,9,0,2,2,0,6,1,0,1,0,5,11,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,9,3,6,8,2,3,0,2,0,0,7,1,0,1,3,30,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20615403421631734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923227366264464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484178273074742,0.1763878454621412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815139242442277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26244677914249875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194590953649156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062453456979325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5524435207640286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16480994343429795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488205650127772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650818613550956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580446307829976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563002828500446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756588398742005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,magickitty420,2019/01/28,"Seeing a clinician for possible DBT therapy tomorrow. What was your experience? Hi all, thank you for reading. I’ve never posted anything on Reddit before, so I hope this goes well. I’m on mobile, so forgive any bad formatting. Also, I do not know any proper terminology, but please know that it isn’t my intention to offend. I’m truly curious because this might be my own experience. 

I suffer from bipolar disorder and primarily-inattentive adhd. I’m going through a particularly dark time and I’ve sought out help via my normal means - doctors for the most part. Because I’m so down, my DO decided my condition had reached a point that she couldn’t treat me anymore, so I found a great new psychiatrist. I’ve been recommended DBT therapy by two psychologists (one of them is my current therapist) and my new psychiatrist. I didn’t want to do it before because of the intense time commitment, and the cost. This time, things are bad and I’m tired of feeling this way without any kind of coping mechanisms.

I was wondering what any of you who took DBT thought of it. What was your experience? Did it help you, either right then when you were in the middle of the mood swing/episode or in later episodes? What was it like opening up to strangers? What kind of tools did it give you to cope? And most of all, what was the most valuable thing you took from the therapy once it was over?

Anything you might have to say about DBT would be so appreciated. I only want to make sure this is the right treatment for me. Thank you again!",3.990721649484538,6.126404113402067,5.088431615120278,79.31318350515465,73.15807560137458,8.504797250859108,29.165773195876287,9.174902378510234,2.6665688247422685,1211,51,226,28,25,398,158,291,0.068,0.7240000000000001,0.208,0.9912,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,10,1,0,10,17,1,0,12,0,26,3,0,2,5,40,49,16,0,6,5,0,1,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,23,8,0,0,9,1,1,3,6,4,1,2,16,3,28,12,33,27,8,30,0,1,1,0,19,13,0,8,13,152,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705936393536133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789306818962706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649492628083123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965975091309672,0.0,0.0,0.16030858361754294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265471483174104,0.17812772105664892,0.0,0.1657653967200431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163216808284973,0.09969600090429467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858361946504274,0.0,0.0,0.049249835557059016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679725819827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093437742226955,0.055356315741292884,0.0,0.0,0.10738704697214273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057422853490708,0.0,0.0,0.09674306261772683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028602742451403,0.10706017891006524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04758613952607348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501719564365258,0.0,0.0,0.10610031852808408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20665818017123988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512312527749547,0.18814466581810627,0.0,0.0,0.09543416661363767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037309152734322,0.06600272944838073,0.074079298634996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547785461220796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691914049225687,0.09207722892387547,0.10980714068710087,0.09328505864179948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742926392438923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636309787698764,0.0,0.07745869977276648,0.0,0.0,0.07761750473931425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180108554326014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793510174418432,0.3341661329248851,0.11309228039887302,0.12942032447909185,0.0,0.0,0.07732702680993006,0.170389252147605,0.11195031111327428,0.0,0.0,0.21643642344505928,0.0,0.0,0.0951484852969684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490151435397372,0.07731389250691405,0.0,0.0,0.08757690949676843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389292489278417,0.1056292958842488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919222930982788,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yungcramp,2019/01/28,"need advice on how to deal with my sister’s borderline personality disorder my sister was diagnosed with bpd almost a year ago. it’s really hard to get along with her and to honestly live with her. the way she acts at times is just horrible and infuriating. i can tell it’s really taken a toll on my mom but i also feel like my mom in denial about her bpd so i don’t think that helps at all either. anyways, any advice would be nice to hear!! ",2.321126373626374,4.148314230769234,4.795700549450551,80.93992445054947,77.02197802197801,8.506043956043957,20.166208791208803,9.188382445141503,1.4936032967032964,349,8,72,9,8,123,66,91,0.081,0.782,0.13699999999999998,0.8067,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,1,17,12,6,0,2,3,4,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,3,11,3,15,8,2,10,0,0,0,0,13,5,0,1,4,48,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3425806863666909,0.15538308688128824,0.0,0.17552657319640594,0.0,0.0,0.1401785181369486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920250384645935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4415406181666692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071522104755414,0.0,0.17791460479323912,0.0,0.0,0.20089633470558976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886313651180106,0.1252264681869516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158124691631274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702447807315914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975633977521688,0.0,0.11749249508530743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563733176338492,0.0,0.15478336329388515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41059262325956414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299745429054677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530555588309793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245891928611968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321027738318418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123180878342898,0.0,0.0,0.10221240232557212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391362175724617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245202480358227,0.0,0.0,0.11288034329059775
mentalhealth,seabobble,2019/01/28,"Possible Anger Issues, I need help. I'm in 8th grade currently, and I'm apparently supposed to have the life of my dreams, when I see others who have it worse, I do appreciate what I have, but sometimes its just too much. 

​

After a fiasco in July, We had moved out of our house, and I lost a lot, my friends, my amazing room, and the whole area which I had loved so much, and had given me the BEST year of my life. I would go into detail but thats around 3 paragraphs full. The previous year had its ups and downs, losing loved ones, pets, and amazing people.

​

sometimes I just snap. Where anger over the years + anger that day, just overcomes me. I flip out, get angry, throw shit, afterwards I feel like I had just blacked out, not intensely but I just can't remember what went through my mind. Afterwards I just bawl my eyes out and reflect, it's been a weird 3-day weekend due to the end of sem, everything should seem fine. but for some reason, little things do tick me off, I'm very insecure as well, so I usually blame a lot of my flaws or just the way some things work on people, its just unlucky. I absolutely hate myself, the way I look, and sometimes I may even go to where I hate my family, except my mom, but I don't get to see my mom often as I would like. At school I may seem nice, and energetic, but I feel like I'm just suffering quietly. I feel I have some sort of bipolar disorder because at any moment, I would seem okay, but then any little thing that goes wrong makes me wanna just, even kill somebody. I fear I may snap when I have actual power when I'm older and kill someone, its a blind rage that I go through and want to stop. It's a lot of stress and anger, especially today, I got very angry and threw shit, started yelling and crying, I felt legitimately crazy. My mother and I have tried taking me to a therapist but It just never worked out since we forget about it or a lack of transportation. I just want to be normal, but I can't help hating things.",5.914599593954433,5.2863622431761765,6.3992521994134925,81.80978739002934,66.76674937965261,9.709406722309947,29.236295962102407,9.095868883498916,2.0785692307692303,1556,44,330,24,22,507,201,403,0.256,0.597,0.147,-0.9962,3,0,0,0,1,0,67.0,3,0,0,6,26,33,12,3,16,1,25,9,3,2,1,85,61,34,2,10,25,3,4,3,1,7,4,2,2,0,22,24,0,1,10,2,0,8,5,20,1,1,12,12,54,13,40,41,12,55,0,3,6,2,12,23,2,16,25,223,76,4,0.0,0.0,0.07697224992929094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092567377490328,0.19168757034612388,0.10727767815244864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021695739712218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04808248474191722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277619682407161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664231609966334,0.10173785118804993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039949514950144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986131606472007,0.0,0.0,0.10419459069860784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088926325438727,0.0,0.07435790280220607,0.08875818058526512,0.11964724004777508,0.112699014843107,0.0757339708498387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060939918080240775,0.0,0.08241960709267389,0.0,0.13448228451413766,0.0,0.06308487696742676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336231394632948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573873590209948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101308475575418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232674865173235,0.0,0.0,0.17453069331300386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142584662035204,0.11560546739748395,0.15811028607836802,0.0,0.0,0.0662365355729659,0.08824281568755629,0.0861032007686204,0.20117436758190285,0.14237854494769914,0.0,0.05265078841665472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964294952893089,0.1847588006479507,0.0,0.08383341533063189,0.11596685337801813,0.0584860499230132,0.06083454899933696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728238759533387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344887162089805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936630026660477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889215917992121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081098351655023,0.0,0.0,0.08935188882319121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982739909989843,0.12570898449254458,0.21541906860093712,0.0,0.0,0.16193153254848633,0.06524759490728682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683194488181002,0.0,0.23403312474417906,0.0,0.05582931162804403,0.0,0.0,0.06594442636060563,0.0903529567649816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593054380578053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158189103499667,0.20960861364461825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476585851308228,0.0,0.0,0.053552080011493516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687150625510813,0.13016302356299642,0.09304700489023468,0.12521725539686274,0.0,0.0,0.07091959729193628,0.07311946152208572,0.0,0.08806298303950907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484630752686628,0.0,0.08038206337425316,0.16809516572055008,0.08623925425557108,0.19168757034612388,0.15238196447028346
mentalhealth,Lumberjack134,2019/01/28,"Just a really unexplainable thing First off, I'm here to discuss a super-controversial thing. It's not meant to hurt anyone, but readers be aware.

For a couple of weeks I've begun feeling strange, at night when I go to bed this thing pops into my head, what if suicide is an option. Now I'm not sad, stressed or anything, it's just that it pops up. And lately it's been more relevant. It's not that I want to kill myself but more a ""what if"" situation. I have never thought about suicide before and I also brought it up to a couple of friends. I am trying to assure everyone that I'm fine but it they still get mad. I get it of course, they don't want me dead but I have no one to talk to and I do not dare bring it up with anyone.

Please do not report this because I cannot explain these feelings. I assure you all that I am doing fine, it is just a weird feeling.",2.4014519906323173,3.52727224043716,4.080534738485561,89.08881147540986,75.22950819672131,6.540046838407495,24.00039032006245,6.868970318607317,0.6999964090554252,672,20,149,6,14,226,103,183,0.165,0.6679999999999999,0.168,-0.5315,0,0,0,1,0,3,22.0,0,1,2,1,9,11,2,1,7,0,13,1,1,0,4,33,29,12,4,4,15,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,22,5,0,0,6,0,0,3,9,6,0,2,4,3,17,5,20,24,3,18,0,2,0,0,7,6,0,4,9,109,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772047624335872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233466724641973,0.0,0.13142818174581467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973580743201872,0.0,0.13590192237781565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534333913391945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261028326606374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422633720220693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584971980457336,0.0,0.0,0.1233919816200753,0.0,0.1668843504207228,0.0,0.09076719114907307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639091099196007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097345650524526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669607032504306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016046693142526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317862886044265,0.0,0.0,0.1498775404293061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822400804634556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17531423348169195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231467364821152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952135980367304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275450586369535,0.0,0.1829479056040769,0.0,0.0,0.3493948587083886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836929750820042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183137959939969,0.0,0.0,0.12679234391697058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843298581061864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840285118370687,0.0,0.12811017675001718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Txara,2019/01/28,"Person in my head I’m female, 13 years old. So I like have this person in my head which I want to talk to you guys about. They don’t have a name and I don’t know there gender because they’re like refusing to say anything to me right now. They only come and talk to to me to say mean things about people or when I’m trying to sleep. I can’t sleep unless I’m on my back because I see like black figure with big white eyes eyes watching me and I think it’s the person in my head like haunting me or something. They share bad thoughts with me and I have to tell them to stop and I yell at them. I think this person is jealous of me and they want to come out of my head and become a real person. I think they’re waiting to become strong enough and take over or kill me. Everyday when I’m in bed at night that ghost thing gets bigger and I feel them on top of me. It’s scary and I try to close my eyes telling them to go away and sometimes they do. I don’t know what’s going on and I know I sound crazy but I swear this person in my head is real",0.2871238244514096,1.9222957844827635,1.9503134796238264,99.86239811912226,82.5344827586207,4.563009404388715,16.148902821316614,4.851557810540192,-1.0653775862068968,810,13,202,2,22,264,108,232,0.087,0.843,0.07,-0.5878,0,0,1,0,0,1,11.0,0,1,9,2,8,9,2,0,3,0,10,10,10,0,0,41,33,20,2,2,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,1,7,10,18,0,3,10,0,0,4,4,3,0,0,1,12,41,6,35,32,1,31,0,0,7,0,26,18,0,3,13,122,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737379319579725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833870308904516,0.07229870135714805,0.07850616594391317,0.1146323932710286,0.20768438289839425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198681112932847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715199219455978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04754139179983246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049123692672097576,0.0,0.10687208456576593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309860567384204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4824790773699589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402369584843857,0.0,0.1550194996842192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374163307242106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024197696535798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823521457749428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986624384818964,0.0,0.0,0.07150953745993477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518444715394166,0.4925891153659274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140399383432168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029603680646326,0.0,0.14954341887847666,0.0,0.0,0.07492500556802763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18818393384946971,0.0,0.0,0.07238431796748818,0.09299220335679594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786083275144394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069439459132545,0.1511459619413866,0.1643623522019935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493082024189756,0.18074047080832625,0.0,0.07464460412315257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767233493254654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091565790037207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060548414432436436
mentalhealth,driftwoodms14,2019/01/28,"SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER I was once always afraid. Afraid of school. People.What peers were thinking about me. My family was not aware that I was suffering from anxiety. I was regarded as a shy child,well-mannered and a good student. I was blessed however with great athletic skills so I made some friends because of this. I didn't understand what was happening. I had no time to think I suppose. I worried about being the center of attention or messing up in some way. As I got older my anxiety increased..Middle School and High School:( I was an all-regional baseball catcher in High School...I had pro scouts looking at my development. I was a good student but I had a terrible time concentrating in class around all the other kids. I became an accomplished musician and composer. But my peers knew I was weird. I was teased a bit and probably would have been bullied if I wasn't a big guy. I made friends with shy students and the athlete friends left. I was never able to go partying,hang out or even have a girlfriend. I began my Freshman year at East Stroudsburg University of Pennsylvania. I was terrified. Even so I was the starting walk on baseball catcher. However,my condition destroyed my baseball career. Then after I turned down a pretty girl's invite to a party I realized something was wrong with me. I then began counseling at the school. Then I saw a therapist who changed my life. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. I was introduced to Albert Ellis and Rational Emotive Therapy. I learned to think differently not just in anxiety situations but in every aspect of my life. By my Junior Year I was a different person. I was who I was supposed to be. I then dedicated my life to helping others. I went to Grad School to earn my professional Counseling Degree and have been helping kids,teens,adults,etc since 1997 with their problems. I'm not saying it was easy to beat my terrible anxiety. It took a lot of work but I did it. As a therapist I guide my patients,give them a lot of homework assignments and work at helping them change how they think,feel,react and think again in a rational healthy manner. I am so grateful for finding the right therapists and therapy. I highly recommend Albert Ellis' books on Rational Emotive Therapy. He has one especially for Anxiety. Anyway life is still hard but we do the best we can. God bless all of you fighting anxiety and or depression.       ",3.6911788736504256,6.449617908277407,5.015442563952924,76.41211628246279,76.85234899328859,8.898142204065753,31.6413286645268,9.43228470229965,3.661873105729015,1923,98,322,56,46,637,229,447,0.159,0.685,0.156,0.703,4,0,1,0,2,0,57.0,2,1,4,7,13,22,3,2,24,0,40,5,0,3,3,55,60,31,0,3,13,0,1,0,4,1,5,1,1,4,10,20,0,0,10,1,0,4,7,13,0,1,38,4,60,9,49,19,8,45,2,2,2,0,26,24,0,8,16,230,70,21,0.06859249920993207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05707445417320978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4197845931973726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061061866751163964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04181335086581457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198359609991786,0.0,0.07488524383570494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512353824656926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059078619059940815,0.06961994283731568,0.0,0.1433291250102385,0.15722589334004902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431465862636218,0.0,0.0,0.07649876822738215,0.09060939763378606,0.0,0.05779213895460055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466290367902491,0.0,0.0346824285745407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626923016199798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589831842156273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038982698015768986,0.11506426797641693,0.05485968766223501,0.07562347253174452,0.0,0.0679173583151963,0.06065612052113555,0.0,0.06144540635220574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792831905776518,0.21741522421447693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452595109053521,0.0,0.19379564285268852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05760042387397634,0.0,0.0,0.1166297798746004,0.0,0.12980776249936984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290276398414428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304877304157603,0.04648005265248231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598923245740819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978323114509505,0.07395431549788263,0.0656337581245422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058577619542233665,0.0,0.054547508473065616,0.0,0.4165156270752705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05674042416178464,0.07710084302502143,0.0,0.13984282977482976,0.0,0.05280585701811739,0.0,0.0,0.04855012398444585,0.0,0.054778058473595084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353245022264169,0.2389235350474376,0.0,0.21975651924998701,0.0,0.0,0.07999367579115636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620879046758966,0.0,0.07460894230842127,0.0,0.07140721072194879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444553315480933,0.0,0.0,0.0616728944177223,0.06358593396645022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987231271510663,0.06965901250683157,0.0,0.048726143423790336,0.07499513005514039,0.0,0.08834264119554308
mentalhealth,OrangeJews42,2019/01/28,"How do I improve my self esteem, knowing why it’s low but unable to change it for year? So long story short - I hate myself. 

I’m skinny, was skinny my entire life and I can’t stand my body for it, I feel like everyone looks at how skinny I am, and how much unmanly I look. 

I have a baby face which doesn’t help at all, I look 16 even though I’m 22. 

I tried to gain weight for years, but I just can’t, and I know I have to eat more, and track calories and everyone can gain weight but for crying out loud I sincerely tried again and again  and again and I just can’t gain 1 fucking Kilogram. 

I feel like women don’t take me seriously because of my young look, and to be honest it makes me really frustrated at times. 

I hate myself, how do I stop?",1.1814107142857146,2.7042744625000026,3.17464285714286,92.65750000000004,79.375,6.321428571428572,18.92857142857143,7.1686216300943375,0.11654464285714285,574,12,134,7,14,194,88,160,0.145,0.659,0.196,0.877,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,12,10,4,0,1,0,13,10,5,5,1,26,28,18,0,0,5,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,5,10,6,1,4,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,9,25,4,13,26,3,16,0,1,4,1,3,6,1,0,11,84,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885756252486284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613993598434638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537117675612135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596090002983273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486816889304057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597154835270387,0.0,0.0,0.2776873177504709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469395651159082,0.2076096058307536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343306841635167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28691411937327066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097393829538962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597099356001964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026321131928873,0.14197583745036402,0.0,0.0,0.12858896744144582,0.4880731587952904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699117108589926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681474346852146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308510109490296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158317208747712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148017782160628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925009979849162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275988702941186,0.0,0.08472760138114932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973029886389136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.353880877435142,0.0,0.0,0.13111374948084684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871412962123533
mentalhealth,gothboygucci,2019/01/28,"Is it okay to smoke weed while on Zoloft 100mg, Risperidone 2mg, and Mirtazapine 15mg I'm 24 and suffer from anxiety and depression

I'm currently on Zoloft 100mg, Risperidone 2mg, and Mirtazapine 15mg

I'm 24 and first started smoking when I was 22. In college I smoked a ton while on Cymbalta and didn't have any issues. I just had a lot of fun smoking weed with friends. I also graduated with good grades.

I am now on Zoloft which I just started around three months ago. I feel good! Not the greatest because of my issues, but I am working on them in therapy.

I took a 4 month break from weed and just started smoking again.

I've been smoking just about every week. I get really, really fucked up and paint on canvases and listen to music. It's been a lot of fun and I am enjoying life.

I haven't...noticed any issues. I did have some bad trips from weed and was experiencing some weird visuals, but still, I enjoyed it.

My therapist says weed can increase depression and anxiety.

What's the worse thing that is going to happen if I keep smoking?

I feel fine and I just smoked a ton of dank weed last week with no issue.
",2.9197135537959937,4.684815969026552,4.347177456916629,85.08131113181183,75.15044247787611,7.766744294364232,26.93898462971589,8.532816995589336,1.9016761061946896,883,34,181,17,19,293,117,226,0.156,0.723,0.121,-0.8759999999999999,1,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,2,12,15,1,0,7,1,15,5,0,0,0,33,30,20,0,1,9,0,2,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,7,17,0,1,2,0,0,4,3,6,0,2,8,5,20,9,24,22,8,32,0,3,0,1,4,10,1,5,17,112,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514928815261992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388168301798978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766740993428246,0.0,0.19874762804767335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563931957122513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846180488357357,0.07918636786556357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22376686704125176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944708999006013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313635712377251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049361814100844,0.0,0.0,0.10036109399713274,0.1200912659882103,0.06786784586535753,0.0,0.07382566098027367,0.2179093821349693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148709149931227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5423310578813424,0.0,0.11546186652073293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588655098031227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175282982535854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22087415770307198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20737127862068985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16643565399428667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330238985054788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758335243273372,0.0,0.10373900678689242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855297183972505,0.1508249282924234,0.08630036944296914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432465209311912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20839729327608014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456938430529883,0.0,0.13238008963787284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EnsuingPiracy,2019/01/28,"Does anyone else have a history of mental illness in their genetics? My mother has borderline and anxiety, my father is on antidepressants, my older sister has anxiety and eating disorders that caused her to attempt suicide when she was 14, I have bipolar and anxiety, and my little brother has OCD. One of my cousins (from my mom's sister) had a substance abuse problem in his teens, and another cousin (his sister) has bipolar and anxiety.

​

Basically, the majority of my relatives have some sort of disorder that is genetically associated with anxiety or mood disorders. But one thing I've discovered being in a family with a history of mental illness is that there are advantages. I've heard that certain anxiety and mood disorders are associated with greater ability to learn. And if you look at the accomplishments some of the individuals in my family, it's really something.

​

My paternal grandfather was an amazing visual artist. My father helped engineer things that are currently in space. My great great uncle on my mom's side was a well-known musician (in the 50s and 60s at least). My sister who once had eating disorders is now acting in TV shows. And my 15 year old brother just reassembled a motorcycle from the 80s. It just goes to show that mental illness isn't always totally bad, and sometimes it gives you an outlook on the world that can help with creativity and curiosity.",9.719504615384617,9.543336212000003,10.082,57.03176923076924,58.88,14.252307692307696,42.43076923076923,13.274406872562384,6.286144615384615,1143,58,171,41,13,385,137,250,0.119,0.773,0.108,0.0191,1,0,1,0,1,1,36.0,0,2,1,3,5,9,0,0,14,0,22,7,0,1,2,29,25,16,1,2,5,13,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,13,16,2,0,1,4,0,1,1,2,0,2,6,2,22,5,27,18,6,23,0,0,1,0,25,16,0,5,6,125,35,2,0.0,0.1076336308133176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558832361284241,0.19685584653247926,0.22076741367674468,0.0,0.09525639079933372,0.41696605957007854,0.0,0.0,0.06351926077436867,0.09307898287778836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584977967689142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093320377851932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5205674709581506,0.0,0.07949697476496675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859093251414721,0.07588733880856942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127664416037336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714450323499237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003085827893755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177976489766115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104815421830334,0.0,0.0,0.07628490789959594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27464393467307124,0.0,0.0,0.21278751929201506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532403131982163,0.09674440826767523,0.1231145987231156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692410327725282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05819609815361777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993507457514186,0.08984565799991827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936706420857666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070357883699398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167841057647185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22076741367674468,0.058499658456973636
mentalhealth,MildlySatanicMonster,2019/01/28,"Coming out about ""invisible"" self harm I've had tendencies of self harm since my self loathing began in effect of a manipulative relationship. I dabbled with scarring self harm but never got addicted to it for the fear of the permanent marks. But now because no one sees any marks, everyone assumes I don't self harm anymore. This was true, for many years I didn't and I thought I was done with it. But seems it was deeper etched in me, so still there exists an immense force inside me urging me to hurt myself for relief or for punishment, whenever I hit hard lows. (No pun intended)

Now I am at a state of life where my previous bad experiences are at the surface, to try and get rid of their effects for good. I am going to therapy, but have not yet dared to talk about my self harm, and the worst thing still is that no one around me really knows about it or understands it. Many of my problems comes from a place of self loathing where I am ashamed of everything I am or do wrong. So the shame holds me back from telling people about this problem I have. 

I am afraid of my family's reaction but at the same time I feel others need to know. I need them to help me stop myself. Even if the harm I do to myself doesn't show permanently, it's still just as destructive and is holding me back. 
How do I help myself to tell others to help me with something I wish I didn't do, wish I could control better, something I am very ashamed of?",6.6338541666666675,5.7080243993055575,6.893833333333332,79.83450000000002,65.4236111111111,10.457777777777778,32.39444444444445,9.725611199111238,2.7107261111111107,1129,38,236,20,15,366,152,288,0.269,0.637,0.095,-0.9963,0,0,2,0,0,2,27.0,0,0,2,4,21,24,2,5,11,0,25,2,0,6,2,48,43,17,0,8,11,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,12,11,0,4,9,1,0,3,9,20,0,2,10,3,39,4,42,31,2,29,0,2,1,0,16,12,0,6,13,167,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786378854128576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061047450603882475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902884430967056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991534328631243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380569240980011,0.0749551484984753,0.05472365104738473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793952742804671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465976891124275,0.0,0.0,0.10068596199056916,0.07167494704745775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091867039610131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059292988424170384,0.0,0.0,0.08578016714082594,0.08068050821752519,0.08781339636511598,0.08462823723450164,0.10101748543195473,0.04539098348945577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469017131935994,0.0,0.05101900514853562,0.0752957693939837,0.07179817790329543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041730466600715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18051509973194885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610185737022353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867173683564567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340800793512011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18202768276022294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312831915014212,0.06923703400382968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166248958047765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223600219765326,0.0,0.093791729908926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717977058601342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750968819841189,0.0,0.0,0.09638060374445367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153597237970867,0.0817242702988777,0.6555561096498671,0.0,0.0,0.07425961105281079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822041203973967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21507403460073224,0.07505268906229674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215463833984312,0.1569278587068015,0.0,0.10266111721162004,0.0,0.05963995356719996,0.0,0.0,0.07126825414780813,0.05234627109940414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094870835274864,0.0,0.0,0.09345491812783156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407058847901289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20646475124091085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815064428969407,0.0,0.057809668075917225
mentalhealth,gaynintendobitch,2019/01/28,"In My Own Head Tomorrow I write my grade eleven university functions exam and I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but I've been in my own head about my conscience. I have done anything glaringly wrong mind you, but I pride myself on being an empathetic and kind person to others. My goal is always to make people laugh using my natural instinct for comedy, and I didn't learn that about myself until me and my friends cut ties mutually. Now I'm in my head about being the supposed ""bad guy"" even though binaries like that don't exist. One of the ""friends"" I left hated me immediately from the moment I met her. She once non-jokingly dedicated a song called ""You're a Shit Head"" or something to me as my other friends laughed it off, and a lot of things like this happened, so I'm sure she wasn't exactly fond toward me. Back when I initially met these people I was an anxious wreck to the point at which I couldn't go out in particularly public places, so I was never really the happy go lucky friend and I often begged them to go back whenever I was dragged out to events like that. Obviously, I was a bit of nuisance back then.

​

Here's where my head comes in. One of the friends who me and my family really resent seems to be doing fine in spite of how horrid she treats other people, like her own personal assistants. No matter what she does she seems to get acclaim from her teachers and  friends. It seems unlikely, and that's why I'm skeptical about myself. In order to not be delusional the way such strong emotions can make you, I'm beginning to question whether or not my own bitterness towards her (she treated me really poorly, but I can't describe it all in this text post) is distorting my vision of her and whether or not I really am guilty of the things she accused me of in a subconscious way. She accused me of writing a letter to her about she's at fault for my depression- which I didn't, I checked my texts and documents over and over, but I could have insinuated it in passing conversation. She's a very insecure person so she tends to really blow things out of proportion, even using violence when her self esteem is threatened, but that doesn't necessarily make her bad. I don't know if I'm the real ""bad guy"" of this story or to put it more realistically the person who's most at fault. I just feel like I'm unable to really see my own faults aside from superficial ones. On the other hand, my head might be just messing with me, but regardless all I know definitively in this moment is that I'm unhappy and unfocused. By the way, the reason I'm so hung up on this girl is because she was my best friend for over ten years, so it was kind of like getting a friendship divorce. 

​

In regards to school, because I don't value my grades as much as I used to, my marks have inevitably declined as I don't dedicate my entire being to school anymore. It should be a good thing, but I'm not used to get anything less than a ninety (I know how shallow that makes me sound, but it was my own personal standard). In most subjects, I end up with high or low eighties, however in grade eleven functions this is different as math then takes a big jump in regards to difficulty. Right now I'm at sixty, and I was absolutely crushed at the beginning of the year, so it was hard to muster the motivation to do my homework consistently and thus improve. It can be crushing to see my peers get high nineties and hundreds in what I find to be extremely difficult subjects. 

​

So thank you for reading because if I'm being frank I had no idea what I was talking about the entire time, and I still don't. In summary, because of the turbulent events that happened in my life the past year, I'm debating whether or not I'm a good person and student. I feel ridiculous typing this out as it's rather trivial in contrast to the people on this forum who have it much, much worse, but I would nevertheless appreciate some responses. Thank you :)",6.900214346608207,6.3550830818414346,7.379612714651081,75.31697357203754,64.72890025575447,10.67012544148094,34.47582511265376,10.125756701596842,3.3028490074290584,3158,124,610,63,42,1041,325,782,0.156,0.6829999999999999,0.161,0.7076,2,0,1,0,1,0,87.0,0,4,1,5,33,51,8,1,34,0,56,9,8,13,6,105,107,60,0,9,29,0,4,6,7,3,1,2,1,10,47,26,0,0,15,2,2,7,20,20,0,6,18,9,97,31,104,74,19,86,0,2,2,0,56,49,1,20,31,438,144,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045857867106188124,0.17914253454541848,0.2009025118010085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062261237095387965,0.054656614594658384,0.0,0.0,0.13605823612573956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713392189449346,0.1380494612212397,0.13438384054973468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05783698208935339,0.0,0.0601683819806756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627584299103744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04747438567930795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044002704822710084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047468162436489166,0.0,0.0,0.057580646739245886,0.0,0.0,0.048229164636434105,0.05639904029819845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199394466698348,0.04881315935016309,0.0,0.0,0.07280233819936044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051954992589396565,0.0,0.0557328921855094,0.03937225406007687,0.0,0.0,0.050371664134452016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29805750445592,0.0,0.11517565488933625,0.0,0.0939648084739938,0.09245120231058003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913972763960557,0.09747128918985974,0.05866809189334006,0.04936981561372174,0.054412008327768185,0.3393668554851024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645838876393487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062215103577023936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478200551683647,0.12115316408809393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059879699430857275,0.0,0.03892746310252226,0.16155058105678066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046854525580587024,0.0,0.0,0.1471516123465508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058465464627761865,0.05564773476169807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154169457745552,0.0,0.042506020521413404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869282457339881,0.1120366077172222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052610947720586915,0.1528317799654939,0.2887317242839053,0.057580646739245886,0.0,0.05209895844636261,0.0,0.052782370306383185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540310603283082,0.06173841401877175,0.0,0.05512723647290674,0.06272988839547193,0.21183818936610455,0.056664646264391286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047065622111993805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155322493960863,0.08783477090665005,0.15051656503206742,0.057494171705386725,0.0,0.05657200685127872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042428158247755234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044012771776908856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051942711536241006,0.0,0.041437607553299324,0.04429719704369326,0.0,0.1014800435918914,0.0,0.0,0.14645671217419992,0.0,0.05414757683507206,0.0,0.03213643833223228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903974055440784,0.0,0.0454734377233424,0.0,0.1312367885128594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973029869858248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05616416479682945,0.03915021250915585,0.060256672753152885,0.2009025118010085,0.10647158589007948
mentalhealth,UndergradChester,2019/01/28,"A study looking into the effect internet memes have on mental health   

This is a study looking into the effect of internet memes on the individual. Participants will be asked to answer a series of questionnaires. This should take no longer than 30 minutes. Further information can be found in the information sheet.

​

[https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/memes4dalolz](https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/memes4dalolz)",13.31526315789474,18.53011236842105,8.81675438596491,48.771447368421036,56.894736842105246,10.115789473684213,35.8157894736842,10.125756701596842,5.1739263157894735,363,15,35,9,6,100,41,57,0.041,0.959,0.0,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,7,1,0,2,0,9,12,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,9,7,0,6,0,0,2,0,3,6,0,0,0,26,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162965357925024,0.35471625248531163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729069479386353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200765662063767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102986215929903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4902806297482521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941879439317957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21948843841965726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35471625248531163,0.0
mentalhealth,jamesonefeshfesh,2019/01/28,"Loss of Social interaction Hello, I am 14 and ever since i was put into online school my social life has been failing tremendously, the only people I see are my parents I have no brothers or sisters or any friends that make time for me. I can go 2 or more weeks without even leaving my house to see ""friends"" or go outside I'm kinda depressed and really lonely and I'm only really happy when I'm high. Is this a unhealthy/dangerous amount of social interaction I'm getting? Now I can go 2 days without sleeping and a small drug problem. What should I do? Is this too much? Is this normal? I don't really want to live like this.",1.9197252747252733,4.245954769841273,4.016984126984127,83.52587912087914,80.66666666666667,6.099145299145299,24.77167277167277,7.321109707123232,1.3887284493284495,495,19,92,7,13,169,82,126,0.14800000000000002,0.7759999999999999,0.076,-0.7967,1,2,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,5,9,0,0,3,0,14,3,1,1,1,18,26,9,0,4,6,3,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,5,0,0,2,2,12,4,8,23,3,13,0,4,2,0,11,3,0,5,7,59,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989306431766617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382185769477837,0.0,0.1253007665547025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870934175678234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960874438267939,0.13159399718979212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247932801917632,0.0,0.07600672274486453,0.0,0.2480370405471303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548649981210636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370644906857986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16786312245840246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15404115348624595,0.0,0.0,0.10275605198120023,0.0710736439076609,0.0,0.12846053723363782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971082978588699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694373321127933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253843749618714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212865235360444,0.0,0.0,0.1615371062529347,0.0,0.0,0.100856754299358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920366345271354,0.0,0.146246479726562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795925326648934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723241725739675,0.2318557020083784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203416524495469,0.0,0.14558396678980595,0.44489226508968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482991863766051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580722661028986,0.0,0.11669440136820675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804729434133668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aidan5MEO,2019/01/28,"Strange thoughts I get frequent strange thoughts that mean nothing. My last one was ""carpet cleaning? Absurd!"" They make absolutely no sense but I can't really put a cap on them. I just wanted to ask if this was normal and if anyone else has these. They cause me a lot of anxiety because I think that I'm crazy because of them",1.1127430555555549,3.741634093750001,2.1177083333333364,92.54534722222223,90.875,4.719444444444443,24.29861111111111,6.42735559955562,0.844446527777778,258,11,51,3,9,81,50,64,0.16399999999999998,0.836,0.0,-0.7899,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,0,14,13,4,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,0,10,0,4,9,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,2,32,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879302916379457,0.0,0.0,0.17177215643299965,0.2517091259027939,0.0,0.0,0.2296602386465513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29950580749885275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523619190045277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20521856952040693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283479374481531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20024682157709145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20885252961342124,0.0,0.0,0.16398088602141406,0.0,0.0,0.2675972728006769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406960042354173,0.2357187300982215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646651624436495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469575499915316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737697753351715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740989992006546,0.0,0.3900554074707125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489745322325576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hewriteshismind,2019/01/28,"The Need to prioritise mental health Hello friends,
I have recently started working on my blog, and the topic for my first blog is ‘why it is important to make mental health your top most priority’. It is a short post, please take a few seconds to give it a read. Share if you like it. 

Here’s the link. 
https://hewriteshismind.blogspot.com/2019/01/why-mental-health-should-be-our-top.html",9.378196721311475,12.619129114754102,5.223737704918033,79.34052459016394,61.13114754098361,8.158688524590165,26.95409836065573,8.841846274778883,2.037790819672132,320,9,49,5,5,83,46,61,0.0,0.785,0.215,0.8934,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,3,1,3,0,0,6,0,4,2,0,1,0,6,9,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,3,5,9,2,7,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,4,31,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716304750849952,0.0,0.0,0.14275082714503284,0.0,0.0,0.17724571663323413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5891972862331243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026801377136433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333366753823308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.558606213966605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700267847361752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20281910956633248,0.0,0.0,0.17695608515430475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184817390636234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18243550707799175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077930960371906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892208266186049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672383070661648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451286045729613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,womanonawire,2019/01/28,"Have a horror story cuz you've suddenly been denied your anti-anxiety meds due to the Opioid Hysteria? phobias, anxiety, depression, bipolar, etc. I WANT TO HEAR YOUR STORY! In the hysteria of the opiate crisis, those who've been long-diagnosed with disorders requiring anxiety medication are finding themselves cut off. Despite access to medical records digitally showing the patient's history of non misuse, no addiction history, I'm hearing absolute horror stories. 

A friend of mine with terrible phobias is forced to take a 1 hour bus ride to the hospital and back to get her psych meds. Though shes been a patient of the Mental Health Unit for over 15 years, she's been cut off from her Xanax. The new rule: if she wants the anti-anxiety med she'll have to take a weekly bus ride and be drug tested to gain access to a medication she's been using at the same milligram for 20 years. 2 of her phobias: agoraphobia, claustrophobia. It takes 2 dramamine via bus just to get to the hospital for her 1x a month psych meds. Since the new rule, her phobias have gotten so debilitating, she can only make it to get her psych meds every 4 months. So, she takes a one-quarter of her dose. 

​

I'm bipolar, and I'm refused klonopin. I've been using it for 20 years. Though it's as needed, a 30 day script usually lasts about 90 days. My witness? My digital medical file. It doesn't matter. 

​

How many have died? Not because they abused opiates, but because of the hysteria, they've been denied life saving medication. 

​

WHAT'S YOUR HORROR STORY?",5.4155951265229625,7.219448886597937,6.234615745079665,73.92272024367384,68.72508591065292,9.414620431115276,32.81490159325211,9.800150414767053,3.523404123711341,1250,57,209,30,22,411,159,291,0.188,0.7859999999999999,0.026,-0.9901,0,0,2,0,1,0,55.0,0,3,1,2,8,6,2,0,21,0,18,13,0,5,0,23,37,12,1,4,4,0,0,0,1,1,13,2,0,0,7,5,0,2,1,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,8,2,22,2,33,27,2,23,0,1,0,0,22,5,0,1,16,116,29,5,0.0,0.09267730717386398,0.0,0.08527079163449165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542523598832863,0.2851357320666676,0.0,0.0,0.2393507883601653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060145960952110174,0.0,0.09536375232339574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089020247900804,0.0,0.06737033362526572,0.07939113761550716,0.08117948316793032,0.0,0.08964631416064922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070977738106137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723540968639859,0.0,0.0,0.06590329537558855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149119839088633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060432185291641224,0.0,0.12259936814151336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314366201837989,0.17631810403600598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703044325372241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375932559003256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055248740245865666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692217887719462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05221211812521204,0.07930228759643927,0.0,0.0,0.4344211100419256,0.39398954413440185,0.07882685025984616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486810410942828,0.0,0.0,0.057998762014577175,0.0,0.15108974509088255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053003551943903326,0.05948944817863541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470397187077291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352452930305666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537005069981101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511305340765895,0.08614771939240391,0.0,0.09227176565867633,0.0,0.06274295815217189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851357320666676,0.1511123644742529
mentalhealth,fatterandfiercer,2019/01/28,"I got into grad school today After sixteen months of eating disorder treatment, DBT for my BPD, unchecked complex PTSD and all of the fun that goes along with being fired, navigating residential and inpatient programs, vetting medications and doctors and collecting diagnoses... I finally feel like I’m beginning to rebuild my life. ",15.794444444444444,12.72039807407408,13.951111111111116,43.13000000000002,49.740740740740726,17.46666666666667,58.48148148148147,15.247664890283005,8.949214814814814,272,17,33,9,2,87,47,54,0.107,0.795,0.098,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,10,5,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,2,8,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,20,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33295139199775936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683192118025251,0.0,0.0,0.30297875907862803,0.270583033168963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705056490027813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13366804853982475,0.18885839799259524,0.0,0.28959278529108273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114323504640092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867248521824626,0.12915264256313588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663142691129041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21100913956026454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30902197511496593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675458118406871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25058178694781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway---23578,2019/01/28,"I feel like life isn’t worth living anymore I just don’t know what to do, I need advice really. 

I feel like I am destroying everything. My relationship, my education, my mind. I’ve recently been diagnosed with depression and have been taking anti-depressants for about 3 weeks. There has been strain in my relationship for a while and no matter how hard I try, I still fuck everything up. Everything I do seems to be wrong or I can’t have opinions or feelings without an argument coming from it and subsequently feeling like it’s all my fault again. 

I’ve had extensions with university and gotten behind on coursework or revision as I feel so down and can’t bring myself to get up. I feel like giving up on everything and there has been timed where I’ve thought about ending my life because I just can’t bear another moment of this hell that my mind likes to take me to. 

I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, my head feels all over the place and this is my last desperate plea for help. Please don’t recommend therapy as that isn’t something I’m comfortable with. Thanks in advance ",4.58412914691943,6.199546189573461,5.435589454976308,79.58049318720381,70.5165876777251,9.635189573459717,28.35337677725118,9.978442167317967,2.8335992890995265,870,32,166,23,16,284,124,211,0.13699999999999998,0.703,0.16,0.2523,0,0,1,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,1,11,14,3,1,3,0,22,5,1,2,2,37,45,16,0,2,7,0,8,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,11,0,0,10,0,1,3,10,7,0,0,7,8,23,7,28,37,2,23,1,1,0,1,4,11,2,6,14,108,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797401770571896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586319376042994,0.0,0.0,0.10958092542160587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673564659939102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518129059294538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903376272544311,0.1121496654804939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786539495744666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972215891384563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3910856319205051,0.3157493794911664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215045205044956,0.05772885378289803,0.10599646258635026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898143386609233,0.0,0.11339930935859174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406218300964648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072492751786021,0.09006782433090303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609116893627353,0.2699103348223457,0.0,0.09756873212026848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375598533591005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22313604009418087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819303256456562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544331098541535,0.12128986001636145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707856526989135,0.0,0.10910006045691004,0.2372596394551448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059010917413104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506412040342028,0.0,0.12368962790470657,0.0,0.0,0.08824110855477242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615633502451274,0.0,0.0,0.1017285572029479,0.12636017367287447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772034842477126,0.06443027396256891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501856186422813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863208135524024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651282515310967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120808469607678,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,out_of_my_thoughts,2019/01/28,"Slowly going insane. I hate my current state of mind. And it was all caused by wanting to love someone. Im just inable to show emotions in general, so tend to simply ignore and walk past the person i love, only giving short glances.
On the other side school has been giving me a huge amount of stress. I've also been having issues with some of my friends. I think i practically lost my mentor.

Every day i stress out about this girl. Every night i remember all the bad times i had. Every day i just get a ""episode"" of sorts where i dont talk to anyone and simply avoid contact. My days became consumed by constant repeating of the same songs, and its starting to make me suffer.

Im becoming more cold, emotionless and reckless. I often think about arguing/fighting with my best friend, who im starting to loose communications with. Im constantly angry and want to destroy and set things on fire. Im becoming less interested in life and living. The world is becoming monotone and gray. 

I wanna go back to happier,careless times. I want to kill my emotions and the will to love. I hate loving, and love hating.

I just need someone to talk to and a voice of reason.",3.1230095238095217,5.40137594222222,4.3219047619047615,83.16000000000003,76.24444444444444,6.5968253968253965,24.936507936507937,7.62386473244151,1.4519841269841267,917,32,167,13,21,300,133,225,0.197,0.638,0.165,-0.8221,1,1,0,0,3,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,10,21,5,3,9,0,9,6,0,3,2,40,33,14,1,5,3,0,1,0,2,1,1,2,0,2,6,16,0,2,4,2,0,3,1,12,0,0,5,6,22,9,31,27,8,29,0,2,2,5,15,10,0,3,14,104,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874869599956301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060110927156652776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610419845280044,0.07177981175192759,0.0,0.2848351921601736,0.0,0.0,0.09021826633615264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831296786048831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580205206463304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632702830849638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075402788463783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934051884849013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172956145635538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283755405074807,0.0,0.044914808539775565,0.16493695997718838,0.0977153580159208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25462724100726475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4643017541860263,0.08972841011573968,0.0,0.0,0.0951110172807976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072184452066338,0.0,0.0,0.0759114487034687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384438760636116,0.0,0.38794804489344414,0.0,0.057384405595218665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680332158372797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374429161221741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067528220379908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538264957441224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206632369442116,0.0,0.07506406990858834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838957296607944,0.0,0.0,0.09738515192503684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700435426169101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456810637465002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169739367291672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969524435872974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819588009135114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711341683265956,0.11016983455664732,0.0,0.0,0.1002574355651374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211872116104508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itblikethatitdo,2019/01/28,"Do I have a problem? Or is this just adulthood? Coming up on 18 years old now, and I've experienced almost a month of switching every couple of days between being very joyful and then struggling to find the will to live. Is this just what the stress of adulthood is like, or is something unusual happening? I'm genuinely confused.",4.825483870967741,6.849909935483872,5.4234193548387095,78.26512903225809,70.61290322580646,7.540645161290323,31.754838709677426,8.238735603445708,2.6363445161290326,264,12,44,4,5,85,47,62,0.162,0.741,0.097,-0.5341,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,3,4,0,8,0,0,0,0,11,11,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,2,8,9,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,7,32,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727608501772213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346412525113785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013961351056661,0.0,0.1756700538281339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295016792832761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24896099642931904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24087500082571764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307678144295884,0.0,0.24052678176590925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21742038405448114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858291731261513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260641983143898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097003689579788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120236685380225,0.2847628529645393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22475160511774248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541126590438375
mentalhealth,Blekerka,2019/01/28,"Vitamin D deficiency Don't know if this is the right sub for this. question. 

I am a naturally pale person, but this winter I noticed my skin is sometimes almost translucent so I'm probably low on vitamin D. I got into a depressive episode since the beginning of December and I'm wondering if the lack of sunlight/vitamin D is a correlating factor to that? 

Will taking vit D supplements make me feel somewhat better physically and mentally? ",5.114603174603175,7.557169419753087,7.278412698412701,63.49000000000001,70.85185185185185,11.542151675485007,37.4973544973545,11.20814326018867,5.5867798941798945,357,21,54,14,7,126,61,81,0.123,0.779,0.098,-0.4488,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,6,0,6,3,1,1,0,14,15,6,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,5,1,6,13,2,6,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,6,2,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696110523569573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23812627395802574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231901250520556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613890584283247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21534068288108968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797060184361488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797238462987632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713367170115871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30653844180189393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23509528804694665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902928084346441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016172247085603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299346775620952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227231361795105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662912535293716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024395408827391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29198588389132824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,insanetheorizer,2019/01/28,"How the Fuck do you make friends I think it’s worth noting that I have social anxiety. That being said this is my second year at a university and I have not made one friend. Yes occasionally people talk in class but the talk is just a part of the work. I have not made any genuine friendships. It sucks seeing everyone around campus happy with their friends in study groups and just hanging out and then there is me isolated, alone, helpless. ",3.6132142857142853,6.090733654761905,3.8169047619047625,86.39892857142858,75.54761904761905,6.5809523809523816,23.595238095238088,7.6454224807358475,1.1226238095238092,353,11,67,5,8,109,64,84,0.181,0.64,0.179,0.211,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,1,5,7,2,0,5,1,8,1,0,4,0,16,16,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,3,0,2,3,2,8,4,7,12,1,8,0,1,1,1,10,5,2,0,2,47,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210290000641896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926568113379467,0.0,0.15666543028515198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823084273907667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568767059828907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4746657093541131,0.18932703795608244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21800504630906534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38755855828667657,0.13670034693809902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877245742659114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22176993604587836,0.0,0.14197708751738278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19480422670110187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631928249333783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875980161250085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292083373166052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122253728861047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490911205283688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318794269223616
mentalhealth,Camisado527,2019/01/28,"Feeling like I want to harm myself and need to vent I got into an argument after not taking my meds for the past 3 days (morning and night meds) and now I want to self-harm. I'm using my coping skills currently, but I really want to hurt myself. It's hard to write this as I don't want to talk about it but I think it might help if I talk about it. I don't wanna leave my friends and family and I hate myself for even thinking about hurting myself and shit. I don't have any way to hurt myself rn as I'm in school. Any tips to distract me? I'm sure this feeling is temporary but I need some way to distract me from hurting myself. I also really don't wanna go to the hospital. I feel like having a panic attack whenever I think about going to the hospital. 

Thank you,

Camisado",1.156463414634146,3.1111040975609785,3.4453048780487805,88.61783536585371,81.1951219512195,6.295121951219512,20.006097560975608,7.413659706084162,0.6138609756097559,608,16,128,9,16,209,86,164,0.249,0.6,0.151,-0.9784,1,0,0,0,0,6,14.0,0,1,0,1,7,16,3,3,5,0,8,1,1,1,1,31,30,13,0,9,5,0,4,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,5,11,0,0,1,4,26,5,25,28,1,12,0,4,0,0,6,2,1,3,8,85,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964943017921377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641102008126719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727178723670233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781776915880942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969689266970954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375050775742987,0.0,0.18303278863865072,0.17240360041172675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932240738790432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371513322401777,0.0,0.09650536817785144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809050899754473,0.11912990969511413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087798636875859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.516689721044473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277648856830998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789987004679807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26805918377249904,0.0,0.0,0.12800456618752856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789404387363052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323422088164035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157224389513912,0.0,0.0,0.11518665903991937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545998462762226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221175804907054,0.0,0.0,0.12587801284597505,0.0,0.12385902073062922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372361956126978,0.0,0.09072369496214486,0.19396898757250136,0.0,0.11109044492655404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23194828155358566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042142462010298,0.0,0.0,0.2846810803614607,0.19155363242657691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sochabell,2019/01/28,"My daughter has developed an unhealthy obsession with the Beatles, especially John Lennon. She talks about wanting to kill herself so she can meet him in the afterlife. I recently found out my daughter has contacted a medium in hopes of getting in contact with John Lennon's spirit. All she does anymore is listen to the Beatles and cry over John. She only leaves her bedroom to go to class and eat. The rest of the time, it's nonstop Beatles talk, nonstop grief over a man that passed almost two decades before she was even born.

What has me especially concerned is her recent remark that she is considering ending her life to hopefully meet him on the other side. My daughter has struggled with depression for years now, and we've done everything we can to try and get her into therapy, but she only seems to become more and more detached with reality as time goes on. Because she's over 18, we can't technically force her into therapy, and I know she would like to go, but her anxiety is prohibiting her from calling and making an appointment.

I just don't think it's normal for someone to be this obsessed with a celebrity they've never met and have no real life connection to. I don't want to belittle her love for the Beatles, but it's gotten to the point where I have to say something to her, for her own sake. Her behavior is highly concerning to me and I don't want to see her slip into an even darker place. What would you advise? My other children have never gone through a phase like this.",7.211354166666666,7.0752535381944455,7.491111111111113,73.415,63.96527777777778,10.811111111111114,35.361111111111114,10.411451182825502,3.6920652777777767,1201,50,215,26,16,392,157,288,0.093,0.838,0.07,-0.2155,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,2,1,0,0,7,11,1,3,15,0,23,4,0,1,3,42,43,14,2,8,4,3,0,2,0,2,2,2,1,2,11,20,1,0,4,0,0,4,7,6,0,1,6,3,39,5,43,34,5,31,1,2,1,1,44,17,0,4,12,158,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568124962818727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960156579070441,0.0,0.12447329825525433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651040953361765,0.13861716340270056,0.10680071283390807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816087935811987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786806408420382,0.0,0.0,0.1081025377148664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109835620791986,0.12844144512810438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842920248413872,0.0,0.0,0.11116559244721153,0.0,0.0,0.16579781282784603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280129536236895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761645711312728,0.0,0.0,0.13114875252615524,0.0,0.14266171584685436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326093819242541,0.0,0.24932171016990876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885945051757012,0.0,0.06897762530639287,0.0,0.0,0.13289814629440888,0.0,0.0,0.17730442183494505,0.12263678000256495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327867976477925,0.0,0.08377964253819636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936038157227151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297424220882723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091371436984356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113239940779373,0.0,0.11864857056324105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428591244751462,0.0,0.0,0.2478541646307668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981147470591333,0.0,0.0,0.10001610708353204,0.11426060340873435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634515874712594,0.09662458670665812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121146669332345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017621567081204,0.0,0.0,0.2870657922381131,0.0,0.0,0.08042245329467347,0.0,0.0,0.1463730786494951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521380696211199,0.0,0.12260611992435386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22208911898708947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831898717287184,0.0,0.0,0.08082504172941707
mentalhealth,nonce301,2019/01/28,"Numb feeling. Hello all,

A little background of myself, I have had no past diagnosis or signs of mental health issues. However, since this morning when I woke up (about 9am) I have felt extremely numb. I stayed in bed just awake with no energy to do anything until about 2pm - just browsing through the same apps on my phone or just lying staring at the ceiling. I’ve felt pretty shit throughout the day, but mainly a bizarre state of numbness to everything. Nothing today has excited me, nor really given my joy. I start a new job tomorrow as a care assistant, so possibly related to nerves regarding that? Other than that, I have no idea what is making me feel this way. It’s awful. I found this sub just now, and found it would be the most appropriate to vent on. Any advice from others who feel this way or a push in the right direction would be much appreciated.

Thanks for reading!",4.551005917159763,6.2428717928994075,5.539171597633136,78.5039053254438,70.71597633136095,8.750295857988167,28.384615384615394,9.265573868473778,2.5541029585798816,699,26,127,15,13,230,123,169,0.152,0.7240000000000001,0.125,0.1499,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,10,8,1,0,10,1,11,5,1,1,1,25,24,10,0,2,8,0,5,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,12,2,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,7,6,12,4,22,13,5,22,0,0,1,0,3,8,1,4,9,88,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546168133961658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818719446447167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091816694506406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16220366596229274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026004000127384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298054620919234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24132325473695035,0.0,0.30550421944273265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488696852673377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691060731766226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959414031519366,0.0,0.16604945445138444,0.15787306360293904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945076889607546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061943394607364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032610044740922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695003782624425,0.0,0.0,0.15365087890841198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526519062595828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187016309229098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793509648931966,0.0,0.1618525303074962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591338448877925,0.0,0.1019176355305004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586266767423472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16330441246926955,0.13160154768716142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260528188049575,0.16956961727194186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646942735915247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079946944346467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25255773229313866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22602706913552706,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tashholmes57,2019/01/28,"Derealisation/Depersonalisation Help? Hi there. For a couple of days now I’ve been feeling really disconnected from myself. I am familiar with derealisation and feeling like the world around isn’t quite real or right but something feels different about this. I’ve had a mild headache for about a week now and I feel sick even though I’m not ill or hungry. I just want to sleep, mainly because I don’t feel like myself. I’ve tried watching YouTube and engaging in stuff like that but I just feel like I’m floating above myself, watching myself do those things. I don’t really know how to explain it well, so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I’ve been under a lot of stress with finishing assignments from my first semester so maybe this is my mind just nopeing out because it’s bad enough? I don’t know but does anyone have any tips on how to...ground myself, I guess. I feel completely out of whack. 
Thanks, much love ",2.7257218465157287,5.333562307262575,3.773596001176127,84.78771537783005,79.55865921787709,6.673448985592472,22.270214642752126,7.85451343220497,1.1414290502793292,739,23,144,13,19,238,107,179,0.08,0.725,0.195,0.9538,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,16,10,0,1,5,0,12,4,1,3,0,36,30,14,0,2,10,0,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,10,0,0,0,7,2,1,1,3,9,16,8,19,27,4,14,0,0,2,1,4,8,0,5,10,90,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262931979174348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524310016511424,0.0,0.0,0.121258198603039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137319306805144,0.1660680183331882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428164442213746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071678266624272,0.0,0.08784593509966435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231329986124286,0.0,0.0,0.11920066823917695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074415058862308,0.0,0.08996721618709702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4821127039050183,0.2919311808169944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158624691202756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150053666636731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130051424427399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971789608482852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661866163563084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580318260408765,0.12293729691559804,0.0,0.09092304758130924,0.0,0.13684398437856454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753601621745454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013202123492716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487899331543064,0.0,0.1550398948784717,0.1745227113190984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632491769521655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136311090106253,0.0,0.0,0.10486320576801728,0.0,0.1524789869198391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603120929630265,0.0,0.15593097454410815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254063708160946,0.0,0.0,0.09049367789634703,0.0,0.13382830473901375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247949490197728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034179076278541,0.0,0.10926162688479996,0.0,0.1224715927897156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hellodarknessfriends,2019/01/28,I just feel off. Okay so I’m not really sure what’s happening to me right now but like I just started feeling off. Not like sick but just something in my body isn’t right and it wouldn’t stop and I’m not really sure how to explain it. It’s happened before it’s almost like I’m empty but also really out of control at the same time. I’ve never been good at understanding what I’m feeling or putting things into words but I’m trying. I just started feeling really weird and my music wasn’t right and my clothes weren’t right and my hair wasn’t right and everything wasn’t right and I don’t know what to do with myself. I put on soft clothes but that just made it worse and I started thinking I don’t want to go to my dads house (my parents are divorced and I switch back and forth every week) because I don’t want to have to pick clothes out but I also don’t want to carry it all. And then I was thinking about my hair and how my hair stylist fucked it up and my hair has always been the thing that I love the most about myself and now I hate it. And then I was thinking about how I’m lonely and I want someone to take care of me and help me when I’m not feeling right and I’ve always enjoyed the idea of light BDSM and DD/lg and I got lonelier and felt like everything was out of my control and now I’m in my bed with all my soft things and I guess I feel better but I still feel off and kind of empty and I don’t know what to do. And I know this is a lot and I’m heavily debating deleting this but I felt better after writing it and I might as well post. ,0.4837977296181606,2.3358328596491242,2.37563123495012,95.946346749226,82.9766081871345,5.310079119367045,20.000343997248024,6.37848985222837,-0.0446266941864466,1226,34,289,11,34,407,135,342,0.107,0.727,0.166,0.9534,2,2,1,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,21,19,2,0,5,1,23,8,5,7,5,96,67,47,0,5,18,2,15,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,20,34,0,3,18,0,0,3,16,4,1,0,13,16,40,15,35,52,5,40,0,1,0,2,7,20,1,6,20,190,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488430567353536,0.0,0.0,0.13558011149782542,0.1410698572334728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518243340035154,0.0,0.051674637300888254,0.0,0.07213251285426195,0.0,0.0,0.14994328497180012,0.0,0.09415968961094844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642804930847905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901521725094156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142187261923334,0.0,0.15237053521088825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000336773147797,0.06055927379214685,0.16278382849918469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836794110169026,0.0,0.0,0.04817640153833856,0.071100547921343,0.06779783020699512,0.0,0.09338304722302887,0.0,0.14992259472661534,0.0,0.0,0.08369222917422815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568191396069014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781250219559827,0.0,0.09569433047391067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827428178101418,0.1397611302035291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16565618103499716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720679095158307,0.07650768995291324,0.08021085259969997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992693368216051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653793844427372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412638302347316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081185649414569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043331387926097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21722178415083154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5067482100288652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182483456121791,0.065259622878125,0.0,0.0,0.1800006454297731,0.0,0.06769694954020353,0.07087101119024979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978830597963392,0.0,0.06373603648098798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16895106102615345,0.1629504193030312,0.0,0.0,0.04942971679235116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755285580925105,0.0,0.0,0.08824793130228642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999674540301776,0.0,0.06799689665531068,0.0,0.07621786784223783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863872570782606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kentto7,2019/01/28,"I feel like there is something mentally wrong about me, but I'm not sure if it's just me being dramatic Hello everyone, 

I've been having this idea for some time running in my head, that there was something about me. Something wrong that I would say is mentally wrong (what is it, I don't know). I feel like I'm wierd, different, change as a whole person quite often (by that I mean that if I look back a my past 4 years, I feel like I became someone totally ""new"" 4 times). In between this period came some depression, but that got away after 2-3 weeks. I don't feel like elaborating more about it. I feel like I don't know who I am.

 I should mention that I'm 19. The other kids often called me **hyperactive** when I was 13-15. Today, someone said it to me again, asking me if I was hyperactive. It motivated me to make this post, finally. I'm not diagnosed as such. I have noticed though, and this for as long as I can remember, that I can't stay still. I'm always moving. 

I can't focus, it's hard for me to do so, especially when starting a task. After some time, it's like my brain wants me to do something else, and I really feel like it hurges me to do something else. I sometimes feel anxious about situation. People said that I was shy, but I'm not scared of people, rather uncomfortable about certain situations. I has gotten better now that I'm older, but I still sometimes feel it. Sometimes my heart beat with a very strong beat, and goes a little faster. I often feel overwelmed, as if I was not going to make it. 

I always think that I lie. Right now, while writing this post (and when I had asked myself this question in the past), I always tell myself ""I'm lying about this"". ""Why do I lie about being mentally sick, it's not fun; it's probably not true too"". I ""caught myself"" one day by thinking ""I lie often"" by answering myself to this question with ""this is lie"".

Right now, I do feel good. But I often look at the other and think that I'm wierd or different, and it's been like this for the past 2-3 years. Last Sunday, we had a preparation exam on saturday morning for the end of the year, and after 2 hours and a half it was as if my brain was trying its best to distract me instead of working on this exercice.",2.9308904971680287,4.233179420704847,4.569738200125865,85.40336123348021,74.17621145374449,7.567426054122089,24.204908747640022,8.146662555663855,1.287016689741976,1723,51,363,27,35,581,192,454,0.098,0.7829999999999999,0.119,0.8573,2,0,5,0,0,0,82.0,1,0,0,8,31,22,0,2,13,0,34,6,4,3,4,71,74,31,0,9,19,0,11,8,0,2,2,3,0,2,41,12,0,0,22,0,0,5,11,6,0,2,17,16,56,16,45,53,7,56,0,1,2,0,16,10,0,16,46,248,97,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779759465018995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759396114110557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568349162321746,0.0,0.06315552319008996,0.05168812933072127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054337738783918,0.05945074080230488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500797881925017,0.06863926654752467,0.07688191900808722,0.0,0.0,0.07110998255891476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043351421703028456,0.0,0.0578965979153485,0.06822701514488735,0.0,0.14046145377665525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230758321618617,0.0,0.05953708158927527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423171314520247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398851655402908,0.2881324380804259,0.0,0.07363636474322288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038202747941425766,0.056381054292209076,0.05376207719275705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602160314835636,0.0,0.06898724453506351,0.0,0.0,0.07965617556284202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619828580794332,0.0,0.0,0.07588334266952361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388484899500368,0.054793376229556184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26272287372824993,0.06737222781224718,0.0,0.05948769815810374,0.11289595572305815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973991508542592,0.0,0.0,0.07322242585970759,0.0,0.0,0.20322623663167427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714443581884937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649216186854294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653056148150678,0.0,0.0,0.04555009853521942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19250765543324008,0.09320394617327077,0.05869402313826934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287566029014255,0.0,0.0724746674281866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060385525387174,0.07149688062403553,0.0,0.0,0.04306293539118489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761473014635729,0.11481124438721302,0.12788347033497333,0.053456143958695815,0.06729907496892236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111648100728434,0.0,0.0,0.11391079296336512,0.2587466938124797,0.19944727679591634,0.0,0.04757875271620465,0.0716477127327419,0.10736416241589657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335417530582434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058753354889121076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292158317517632,0.06604343465591449,0.0,0.11758979196058332,0.0,0.0637168216851488,0.0,0.0,0.04563805459899994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05546364562183208,0.03964817322261386,0.0,0.053919932182041434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065571027347656,0.07504887256004521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048937053913496384,0.0,0.0,0.04775125042971203,0.22048397336469908,0.0,0.12986267597645293
mentalhealth,RGR1331,2019/01/28,"All local psychiatrists are booked for the year * I have dysthymia, anxiety, and ADHD
* I already take medicine for ADHD
* Doctor wants to give me medicine for depression/anxiety but he doesn't feel comfortable prescribing me multiple medications
* He wants me to see a psychiatrist
* All local psychiatrists (literally ***all*** that accept my insurance) are booked for the rest of the year and not taking new patients
* I've found one doctor who has placed me on a list if he has call outs
* This has been going on for 6 months
* This sucks so bad
* Just had to vent",1.0524495782911636,2.021350277227725,2.4589878987898817,84.09557389072243,125.43564356435644,6.248771543821049,20.572423909057573,6.937597516519254,1.7395607627429408,442,17,77,12,27,142,68,101,0.136,0.8320000000000001,0.032,-0.8999,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,5,0,9,3,0,0,3,15,19,5,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,2,7,2,12,16,4,11,0,0,1,0,6,6,1,1,4,49,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.453838181442523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083621882040583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28888611120906843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765274451485015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280135580982985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865205672267397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954706016423477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702604137894606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112867516430525,0.10730798811301832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19021137643507924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071043324052544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235882656544736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794601685874735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972716208178618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504612105121638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839309548526578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22273610827150112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24318150291827545
mentalhealth,sunmisiren,2019/01/28,"PLEASE GIVE ADVICE - My father is having an extreme manic episode Hello everyone, I need help and advice from people who have some... advice with dealing with an autistic parent with bipolar disorder. 

​

  My dad hasn't been a very stable person his entire life but the ever since I was born it seems that from my mom that he has had some manic episodes more frequently, but it has never been of the spiritual nature like it is now. It's always been stuff like baseball, history, video games, and for the past 3 years he has dropped everything for a conspiracy 4chan board. He is finally realizing that the board might not be all what it says it is, and he seems to be really affected by it. He liked the 4chan board so much because it made him feel extremely important, and now that that's gone, he now has gone to being the most important person in the entire universe.

​

Here are his current symptoms - 

​

Sleep deprivation, not slept for 4 days

Believes he is god, the first consciousness to ever realize it is alive

Trapping us in conversations that go on for hours

Seeing signs in everything, everything has meaning now

He believes that our dog is also a god, that me and my mother are gods

He has taken our dog off leash and walked 10 miles to another city, knocking on peoples doors, walking in traffic, standing still in traffic, putting dog poop on his hands and into his pockets, touching dog urine, lots of other irrational behaviors {doing all of this with our just one year old puppy, when he told us he got a sign that he needed to get 3 bagels at 6 am, and me and my mom trusted him to not do anything too crazy}

While trying to distract him from media he believed had signs in them, he started looking at me and my mother and believed that we were in on the creation of these videos and movies and shows that catered to him

He has been very hostile with us disagreeing with any and everything he says

He has begun to give away things to neighbors like our potted plants

​

There is a lot more but I think that this sums up a lot of it. We are going to keep a very close eye on him, his truck is still at the bagel shop and my mom has hidden the keys to her car. 

I have never experienced this with a person in my life before. I don't know how to react to it and it has been hurting me a lot. I can't stand to be near him. He doesn't understand why I have cried when he begins talking about signs and that I have coordinated all this stuff to wake him up to the truth and that I'm acting and things.

​

  I know we cannot call the police because he will not comply and they'll just kill him. I know he will not voluntarily go to a hospital, or a psychiatrist, because when we found him in this neighborhood, he told me and my mother in the car that he heard voices that told him to not listen to us and keep walking and not to stop. He was very angry and wanted to get 3 lottery tickets because they are signs and we need to do things in 3s. 

​

 Does anyone have experience with this or anyone with mania and delusions and how to help him and calm him down? He is very short tempered right now and hasn't slept in 4 days now and refuses to sleep, just keeps drinking coffee. I am home schooled for health reasons and do not drive. My mother works and my father stays at home. She has taken off to make sure he doesn't do anything else and will keep staying home until it seems safe. If anyone can please talk about experiences they've had or have any advice in the slightest? Thank you

​

  I am very new to Reddit and don't know how it works exactly, but an easier place, if you have discord, would be talking to me on discord but I am going to download the app onto my phone and try to use it. 

​

   My discord name is olivia hye, chuu

  there are also numbers you need to find a person on discord, my numbers are #1296",8.133509803921571,6.4492346875817015,7.798415032679743,77.00036764705884,62.90849673202614,10.434640522875817,34.7140522875817,8.920646497554287,2.7911895424836595,3076,103,601,37,36,979,320,765,0.07400000000000001,0.8440000000000001,0.083,0.5372,2,0,1,1,0,0,92.0,13,3,3,3,28,16,3,1,31,0,76,15,9,9,10,134,126,56,1,8,21,11,3,4,1,6,5,5,5,4,46,51,1,7,17,7,1,14,18,6,0,2,24,12,71,10,90,91,13,91,0,2,3,0,103,38,0,16,38,410,117,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623894274047395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644714719947291,0.034568822320047814,0.3601124859600773,0.4038544120405,0.056504137901452624,0.04356362320266807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714782659514637,0.0,0.0683760975177019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03903295629903252,0.0,0.0,0.1013019444600934,0.0,0.03535179051369855,0.18722824680869526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04242215654651691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045635303273804884,0.053586260183203116,0.04283113794369258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04761424397059004,0.0,0.03635636648997672,0.0,0.0,0.04069834748665753,0.0,0.0,0.03470557099600767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515977987667108,0.0,0.03969809013635231,0.14935210290312753,0.08127809120163114,0.0,0.0,0.02100643323513049,0.0,0.0,0.04551058817754911,0.037971436905185334,0.03533821120296292,0.0,0.04555201958873139,0.0,0.0,0.04341116367498199,0.07970762426030213,0.094444071750457,0.0,0.03322738382348455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044160461531715364,0.0,0.0,0.05569356289056797,0.0,0.12501926320327728,0.0,0.040913520567869684,0.0,0.04447485151073202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477086511834894,0.045963459187567286,0.0,0.0913283252615071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868901631405015,0.08118728126220444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0348873913435263,0.0,0.0,0.14128051493846144,0.0,0.03931094517334848,0.027731653597938704,0.0,0.0,0.045254755313935725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044072748824016114,0.0,0.1459712346050693,0.0,0.0,0.030540403130077942,0.12322055760621435,0.06408423084896442,0.040124482816547284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359455725468328,0.0,0.02815201134808795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046130878334725414,0.0,0.03965946561864574,0.05760423434271408,0.14510219372420385,0.04340575067726669,0.09120801159654683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041764265311180486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02661483256457187,0.04271524630672969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035479258649438516,0.0,0.0660766066262903,0.0,0.0420458239284889,0.033106038075900415,0.11346320099818458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034366507216350504,0.0,0.08315013702116797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029405810952501193,0.08856302343043787,0.06635588540765203,0.034733534739787776,0.0,0.0,0.09511832008004806,0.0,0.0,0.03915573224894954,0.04318123002401465,0.0,0.1001770490328546,0.0,0.03824911424506068,0.0,0.0,0.0828020857741514,0.02662040023920473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909427040905694,0.0,0.05641274430975345,0.0,0.0,0.043249877998411665,0.19989439232074072,0.03588159730156296,0.0,0.2056741782560393,0.024504355827703717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037487959386628834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060490604473644335,0.0,0.0,0.029512422304492542,0.0,0.4038544120405,0.05350731971092483
mentalhealth,styh06,2019/01/28,"If my brain could just cooperate this would be great. I’m sat in my car trying to calm my thoughts. I know my brain is being a jerk. But when I do the smallest thing off it blows up and it consumes me. I can deal with the sad. I’ve learned to live with it. But I’ve never took on my anxiety, and I’ve got to rein it in. I wish my coworkers could understand I don’t do this for attention, and I’m legitimately not trying to be dramatic. It’s at its worst at work. I just want to be good at what I do and any mistake.... ugh. I’ve been to a psychologist and I’ve been to a behavioural therapist, but I was always okay for my appointments. It’s when I’m overcome and overwhelmed and I need help because I’m drowning when there’s no one there. 

And I met someone. They’re wonderful. I’ve never had it in my head that someone else would heal me or help me, but I wonder if that’s the impression from those I keep in my circle. I’ve been candid with my human about my mental health and they seem to take it in stride, so that’s good. I just... don’t want to scare them away. 

How do I handle this? How do I effectively manage these nerve wracking thoughts? I’m calming down now and I feel stupid for even getting riled up but when it hits everything just feels bleak and my brain just makes me feel worthless. 

Thanks if you made it this far. Sorry for the blatant grammatical abuse.",1.0835380747126422,3.1264494826388933,2.7462978927203103,93.06125,81.9513888888889,6.055747126436782,21.38936781609195,7.237678284180719,0.5090106321839079,1073,33,244,15,29,353,145,288,0.108,0.7440000000000001,0.14800000000000002,0.8708,0,0,0,0,1,0,34.0,0,1,2,2,17,17,2,2,7,1,22,6,4,5,3,60,52,27,1,12,15,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,22,14,0,2,13,0,0,2,6,9,0,1,12,3,35,8,32,31,1,24,0,3,0,0,8,15,0,7,7,160,57,3,0.0,0.1460465084322763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256469709780247,0.0,0.0,0.08382307234796961,0.0,0.0942958637785414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580965364042214,0.0,0.0,0.0751399856261687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4128068475504805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968309638638324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270787488470897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297042646857754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141405430107299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107808435977254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869764415390756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439983421716831,0.0,0.0,0.2067743259701834,0.0985846878339187,0.13589790154038994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650340764600718,0.13102281352734493,0.0,0.0,0.16524119205691865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956182515490016,0.0,0.0,0.06774212562242632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884349439804804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663443859915765,0.08227901503153763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242201203533784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139795861496837,0.19013606147519446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352620433169981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340777447149195,0.0,0.0,0.11221401310101854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20888069344761864,0.0,0.0,0.13798284582962084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267844178885178,0.0,0.0,0.11348401691222165,0.0,0.14311785285064307,0.0818904654205988,0.0,0.0,0.19571411957259613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369497373864881,0.16737498254981456,0.0,0.0,0.1283211384916473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540743157383476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174637605154772,0.0,0.2673469483816264,0.0897369379214323,0.0,0.0,0.17512500867160125,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lillidubh,2019/01/28,"Anger: Find Your Granularity by: MICHAELEEN DOUCLEFF for NPR Morning Edition (edited for clarity and content)

Examine and name your anger and it might be easier to let it go. Over the past three years, I've had one major goal in my personal life: To stop being so angry.

Anger has been my emotional currency. I grew up in an angry home. Door slamming and phone throwing were basic means of communication.

I brought these skills to my 20-year marriage. ""Why are you yelling?"" my husband would say.

""I'm not,"" I'd retort. Oh wait. On second thought: ""You're right. I am yelling.""

Then three years ago, an earthquake hit our home: We had a baby girl. And all I wanted was the opposite. I wanted her to grow up in a peaceful environment — to learn other ways of handling uncomfortable situations.

So I went to therapy. I kept cognitive behavioral therapy worksheets. I took deep breaths, counted to ten and walked out of rooms. And I even meditated at night.


These strategies helped me manage the anger, but they never really decreased it. It was like keeping a feral horse in a barn. I was contained, but not really domesticated.

Then, six months ago, I was talking with Lisa Feldman Barrett, a psychologist at Northeastern University. Right at the end of the hour-long interview, she tossed out this suggestion: ""You could increase your emotional granularity.""

My emotional what?

""Go learn more emotion words and emotion concepts from your culture and other cultures,"" she added.

Over the past 30 years, Feldman Barrett has found evidence that anger isn't one emotion but rather a whole family of emotions. And learning to identify different members of the family is a powerful tool for regulating your anger, studies have shown.

Or better yet, as I found, go and make up your own anger categories and start using them.

What is anger?

There's a common theory about anger. You'll find it in text books, scientific papers, news reports — even here at NPR. And some scientists support the theory, says Feldman Barrett.

The idea is that anger is one of several ""basic emotions"" that are universal, Feldman Barrett says. It's almost like a reflex — hard-wired in the brain. When something unjust or unfair happens to you, ""your blood pressure often goes up. Your heart rate will go up. Maybe you'll breathe heavily or you'll have a reddening of your skin,"" she says. ""Then you'll have an urge ... to punch or yell at someone. That's the stereotype of what anger is,"" Feldman Barrett says.

But it's not the full story.

What you feel when you're angry depends on the situation, what your past experiences are and how your culture has taught you to respond, she says.

As a result, there is actually enormous variation in the types of anger in the U.S., like exuberant anger when you're getting pumped up to compete in sports, or sad anger when your spouse or boss doesn't appreciate you.

When you look at other cultures, the variation explodes.

Germans have a word that roughly means ""a face in need of a slap,""or backpfeifengesicht. ""It's like you're so furious with someone that you look at their face, and it's as if their face is urging you to punch them,"" Feldman Barrett says. ""It's a great emotion.""

Ancient Greeks differentiated between a short-term anger that doesn't stick around (ὀργή or orge ) with a long-lasting anger that's permanent (μῆνις or menin).

Mandarin Chinese has a specific word for anger directed toward yourself, 悔恨 or huǐhèn. It's literally a combination of regret and hate, says linguist Yao Yao at Hong Kong Polytechnic University. ""You regret something you did so much, that you're angry at yourself,"" she says.

Thais have, at least, seven degrees of anger, says linguist Yuphaphann Hoonchamlong at the University of Hawaii. ""We don't walk around saying 'I'm angry.' That's too broad,"" she says. ""We may start with 'I'm displeased' and 'I'm dissatisfied' and then increase the intensity,"" she says.

And India is a treasure trove of angers.

""There's a common form of anger which means like 'when eggplant hits the hot oil,' "" says Abhijeet Paul, who teaches South Asian literature at Middlebury College.

""You suddenly become, like, really angry at hearing something shocking or learning something that you really, really dislike,"" Paul says.

Indians also differentiate between political anger, which you have for the ruling class or ""boss man,"" and personal angers, which you have for a friend, family or neighbor. You would never mix the two and express political anger in a personal relationship, Paul says.

""There's also a very interesting anger that is a loving anger,"" Paul says. You express this emotion toward a spouse when your spouse has angered you but you can't help them, only love them, he says. ""It's a mixed bag of love, grief, sorrow and anger.""

Personalize anger to help regulate it

So in many ways, anger is like wine. There are these major varieties — such as Chardonnay and Pinot Noir — but each vintage has its own unique combination of aromas, flavors and potency. The more practice you have at detecting — and naming — these nuances, the better you understand wine.

And if you learn to detect all the various flavors and nuances of anger and label them, you can start to handle your anger better, says psychologist Maria Gendron at Yale University.

""There's definitely emerging evidence that just the act of putting a label on your feelings is a really powerful tool for regulation,"" Gendron says. It can keep the anger from overwhelming you. It can offer clues about what to do in response to the anger. And sometimes, it can make the anger go away.

The idea is to take a statement that's broad and general, such as, ""I'm so angry,"" and make it more precise. Take the Thai: ""I'm displeased,"" or the German ""Backpfeifengesicht!""

Psychologists call this strategy emotional granularity. Studies show that the more emotional granularity a person has, the less likely they are to shout or hit someone who has hurt them. They are also less like to binge drink when stressed. On the other hand, people diagnosed with major depressive disorder are more likely to have low emotional granularity compared to healthy adults.

""There's a whole arm of research showing how functional it is to have finely tuned categories for our experiences,"" Gendron says.

Emotional granularity is like watching HDTV versus regular TV. It lets you see your anger with higher resolution, Gendron says. ""It gives you more information about what that anger means, whether you value that experience and choices about what to do next,"" she says.

This last part is key: Being granular with you anger helps you figure out what's the best way to handle the situation — or whether you should do anything at all.
For instance, if you are feeling a quick burst of anger, which you know will fade rapidly, then maybe doing nothing is the best strategy.

And you don't have to limit yourself to the labels that already exist, Gendron says. Be creative. Analyze what's causing your various angers, give them specific names and start using the terms with family and coworkers.

""If you're making a practice in your family of coming up with words and then using them together, that actually can regulate physiology,"" she says. ""That can resolve the kind of ambiguity about the situation.""

Personally, I found this strategy the most helpful. I started paying attention to what typically triggers my anger at work and at home. And I found three major types, which I named.

Illogical anger: This emotions happens when somebody at work makes a decision that seems completely illogical. Once I labeled this anger and started tracking what happens afterwards, I quickly realized that trying to convince an illogical person of logic is often futile – and a waste of time.

Hurry up anger: This is the anger I feel when someone else is not doing something fast enough — yes, I'm talking about the driver of the gray Prius at the stoplight this morning or the 3-year-old who will not put her shoes on fast enough. Once I labeled it, I realized that cars, people and toddlers eventually move. Huffing and puffing doesn't make it faster.

Disonophous anger: This is my favorite anger. And has the biggest impact on my life.

I wanted to figure out how to decrease yelling at our house. So I started paying attention to what often occurred right before the screaming began. It was super obvious: The dog was barking and the toddler was screaming. Basically two loud sounds simultaneously.

So my husband and I made up disonophous anger from the Latin for ""two sounds.""

Now when my husband says, ""I have disonophous anger, Michaeleen ..."" we know exactly what to do: Put the dog on the porch and pick up the baby.

And I know he's not angry at me. He just wants some peace and quiet.",6.685311806069577,8.546571678108808,6.508190229459661,72.95597150259069,65.70336787564767,9.452109548482603,34.31680236861584,9.784248007369934,3.6151657290895622,6957,317,1125,152,112,2188,590,1544,0.188,0.7140000000000001,0.097,-0.9996,5,0,8,0,3,0,286.0,7,55,13,15,56,93,50,3,95,1,100,21,12,20,8,212,182,112,1,16,38,6,8,11,2,12,3,38,7,10,87,69,3,7,39,8,3,22,15,64,0,13,24,55,124,29,161,136,37,157,0,9,5,3,168,76,0,32,67,744,211,27,0.0,0.0,0.05600379209304035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050872255149645496,0.0,0.028733605427766155,0.0,0.03166532415626494,0.06884144359878354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023613299989334167,0.05108874804993669,0.0,0.0,0.026959623026775025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031691050896713084,0.02441708330440904,0.0,0.060226652091454565,0.07613441294129683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03203278438078856,0.0293005054425068,0.0,0.0,0.029477369752815064,0.0,0.024717950403653044,0.030085855720566438,0.0,0.0,0.02291038967373927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024714710218337457,0.029124524913077723,0.0,0.029979862823823568,0.03288662171314501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02810988995164016,0.0,0.0,0.023970746766227773,0.4841652696539896,0.0254149945196412,0.05929860852101019,0.0,0.0379051684215074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420679242220737,0.135254086142562,0.0,0.05803562679881088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05245288708885948,0.0,0.0,0.12584906629282486,0.02216946045794347,0.0,0.014991800760171382,0.05505315779709045,0.0815393200043473,0.0,0.0,0.03163601721005326,0.0,0.0,0.0761239073713338,0.0,0.025704822428262726,0.02833008376968084,0.0,0.0,0.032341021730240664,0.034003367503822754,0.09616729059956672,0.0,0.08634939616728604,0.0,0.02825850757390141,0.0331098407613773,0.030718278721072693,0.0647856658941577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051010350371526736,0.0,0.0298811230414046,0.04730958376277191,0.04678003420435242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868456674043115,0.04053584216162123,0.15420663558586534,0.0,0.0,0.050787827764356495,0.04819265606240315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769428369073396,0.027151626809419124,0.11492364367923645,0.029091930411076727,0.05765538265130341,0.12502779795471364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03044055092692704,0.0,0.0,0.022903842407426846,0.03049793378093515,0.02109391226134336,0.02127676262055825,0.04426225603853968,0.0,0.030517147819216245,0.026928039913581687,0.0,0.027533346521448145,0.0,0.030110269399055294,0.06111785570667878,0.0583328309218092,0.021823618700804345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031073572817929624,0.08217703785981506,0.039786595479166215,0.17538578741227093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653832214145289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029538947005843,0.0,0.0,0.030807378027271362,0.0,0.0735153723277182,0.0,0.5932987779484894,0.0,0.0,0.022865967404535482,0.02612258474512113,0.0,0.03241685276329239,0.0,0.0,0.12901621759436147,0.0,0.0,0.09725173292381893,0.11045294175796533,0.028379800237743325,0.0,0.14217183561548116,0.0,0.0,0.023990061008914224,0.032869691416749953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03256241493948297,0.0,0.0,0.043149699093206775,0.046127439202403066,0.0,0.0,0.06562979943612139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02278039316600071,0.016732115170737086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031880876744690166,0.019481823370556445,0.0,0.08409168153621678,0.02987220332117376,0.0,0.07434904464610044,0.0,0.023676139506510572,0.06769952965568476,0.06832957147688677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026600282080877943,0.025892511071000174,0.06407323415605187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04178017880012906,0.0,0.0,0.04076779498025504,0.0,0.0,0.0923922567847761
mentalhealth,aylakunori,2019/01/28,"I got dumped by my bf / child’s father. I need advice on how to calm my anxiety I am the type who had anxiety attacks and panic attacks over anything bad that happens.. and it’s the most horrible feeling ever. 
He broke up with me over something old, something he already knew about, I felt like he just used it as an excuse TO break up with me. It’s not fair. He did so much worst than I ever did. I feel like he just simply doesn’t want me anymore, and looked for something to use against me. 
I feel so so hurt and broken inside. 
The last few days we still live together but haven’t said anything to each other. He works nights so it’s easy to avoid each other as we only see each other a few hours in each day. I sometimes leave for those hours cause it hurts being around him. 

My anxiety has been so bad lately. I can’t focus on anything, I feel like I’m doing a bad job at my work. I feel so lost. My head feels funny, my chest feels funny, my breathing feels funny. 
I just want this pain to end 
I don’t know why I’m so unloveable and such a target to everyone. I don’t know why I’m such a flaw on this earth. 
I just want this anxiety to end. I just want to be happy! I just want to have control of my own life and my own emotions. 
I’m so heartbroken, hurt, angry, devastated, and confused. 
I’m leaving to do some errands.. just so I don’t have to be here when he wakes up, 
My heart is always racing and I just need to feel better. Please someone give me advise on how to calm my anxiety, it’s been days.. ",0.5658285984848455,2.554340296875001,2.5361931818181844,94.15070075757578,83.53125,5.128787878787879,19.69696969696969,6.273863323946077,-0.029291666666666938,1165,32,262,10,33,389,156,320,0.236,0.633,0.131,-0.9917,1,1,3,0,0,0,40.0,2,0,0,5,28,24,3,3,8,0,21,7,5,6,2,59,55,23,0,7,10,1,10,3,1,0,2,1,0,1,15,17,0,2,13,0,0,0,7,17,0,0,10,13,38,7,37,42,12,28,0,5,2,0,18,12,0,3,18,167,53,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810781933218577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156044018458694,0.0,0.06903842703966535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31736251828488743,0.0,0.08228482781789133,0.0,0.0,0.20483391838005688,0.0738616828434738,0.0,0.18878273061041065,0.0,0.0,0.20783168206053748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338100954111626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523395929037379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305890815851914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052807988664555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333108353866387,0.14697516273786934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501038401393157,0.0,0.07928224091982396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775731742771841,0.1185488406174472,0.07966506585796522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959323796241373,0.0,0.0,0.06635940017216713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337088390541607,0.08832405511481323,0.0,0.0,0.08515207011931042,0.0,0.0,0.09832090399719837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341922663779151,0.0,0.2664661609842811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823358055876832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119726240376974,0.06763234922945065,0.09359477774235604,0.17570838466459215,0.0,0.0,0.058604793263053775,0.12160615732168525,0.0,0.07326481586131323,0.0,0.0696746507467068,0.0,0.09057252753079903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099315081483336,0.12304372705155765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786255955026633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706399172321598,0.0,0.0,0.06310310056531956,0.08828687671514028,0.09734846219741493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910771213977596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892431641859299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611705695712787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030096574470897,0.19162513386191213,0.08206033165159693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626065983612953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332041829113615,0.0,0.0,0.24469190276462124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973664564087666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080759202250932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,devilapple,2019/01/28,"I've been put in charge of organizing a mental health awareness day at my school. What are some things I can do that would work well within a school day? Some background, I go to a private catholic school that has an awareness week once a year. This year, we decided to divide our awareness week into 4 different days with a final day dedicated as a reflection day. I have been put in charge of the mental health day. I'm hoping to find some suggestions for this day. Thank you!",4.407373271889401,5.934169860215054,4.690353302611367,85.09838709677422,70.82795698924731,7.894930875576037,26.1889400921659,8.418075326091056,1.6312101382488482,379,12,75,6,7,119,60,93,0.0,0.878,0.122,0.8655,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,8,0,8,2,0,0,0,11,12,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,7,3,13,9,3,20,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,4,12,46,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6078543994910042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067772715394958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749949042144242,0.12306515512905875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652314007771162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862474792587709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337351092301981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713855348324869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339493612536244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707153696714448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088106428952629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239651053993873,0.0,0.0,0.08945365570661379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21601181829503105,0.0,0.121064056074729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802480798906762,0.0,0.0,0.0956495493759072,0.0,0.0,0.17341684006342895
mentalhealth,jjppmars,2019/01/28,"It feels like all my passion drained out of me - did I skip my prime? I'm 22 and married, moved across the country 6 months ago and realized I have no interest in my last career so now I'm working a minimum wage office job...

I used to love my work because it was varied and sort of creative and high-energy, but it wasnt that important in my life at all because I'd make music or paint or craft something, but now when I try to do these things it just feels like practicing a skill, not making anything important. It feels like theres no point to anything and I feel almost emptier than I did when I was mostly just work/party/create. 

What few friends I had seemed to take it personally that I decided to move so besides my partner and new people I don't know very well I feel really isolated, and because I'm so uninspired and feel like I don't have much to contribute I don't feel motivated to reach out or go out at all. I feel like every day is just various distractions before I get to sleep and not think about anything again.",5.598965244865717,5.283513094786732,6.478874407582942,79.93009676145344,67.34123222748815,10.066508688783571,32.27527646129543,9.725611199111238,2.834175039494471,817,31,168,16,12,272,121,211,0.11,0.7559999999999999,0.134,0.74,2,0,1,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,4,14,11,0,1,3,0,13,4,1,4,3,45,34,19,0,0,10,0,8,5,2,0,1,0,0,2,11,12,0,0,14,0,1,3,8,1,1,0,6,8,22,10,20,28,7,22,0,0,0,2,4,9,0,7,15,107,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167872359791713,0.0,0.11486010658136925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831763831724224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097686127313441,0.0,0.09760518212032218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397498978590362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966435884253661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4639848136277704,0.40972501259587707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862050387140723,0.0,0.05992842901280866,0.0,0.06518927817684465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119172737834764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382663484788325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303865865322485,0.09349957366296556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101926440721202,0.28019441371649473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352539674511037,0.0,0.15313244735797182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915561323013704,0.2438257136505885,0.08432109282793579,0.0,0.0,0.11078243551130112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952173994898025,0.1001556486864593,0.0,0.0,0.10843294048187556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348271591958865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442277686134177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478745700498535,0.0,0.0,0.08830521943679358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624359809734207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620465181998733,0.0734980880941979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778769066891683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990679620040752,0.0,0.09464332326792832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313322768325993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505189856195799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_sprinklesandcones_,2019/01/28,"I haven’t self harmed since November Which sounds great, but I want to almost every day. I feel like it took away from my other feelings. Now I just have passive suicidal thoughts all the time. I mean, I could never actually do it because the thought of people hating me after I die is too much. I can’t disappoint my friends and family like that. But I’m so lost and alone and the people who I thought were friends are making me feel like shit and my closest (geographically) best friend lives an hour and a half away. And I don’t want to tell anyone how I really feel because that’s too much weight to put on someone else. I wanted to tell my therapist today, but I’m afraid she’d freak out and I have some really important things to do this week. So here I am. Still alive, still going, typing out my rant to a community full of strangers, but lost in the noise of the world. ",3.7653194263363767,4.980791485875709,4.653333333333336,85.95097783572363,71.99435028248588,7.932029552368538,24.914819643633198,8.384062270229773,1.3722832681442854,691,20,146,11,13,224,109,177,0.205,0.601,0.194,-0.7601,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,10,16,2,1,8,0,13,2,1,2,2,32,32,14,2,4,5,0,5,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,9,9,1,0,8,0,0,3,4,8,0,1,7,6,22,8,17,23,6,22,0,3,0,0,8,9,1,2,13,97,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.11561215783015905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863318541807236,0.12270187363484382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283878945742723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226177961117344,0.0,0.0,0.14443958231584347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432967388371932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459072280357066,0.0,0.0,0.07640501946908862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295584386852257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896864676020016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981826664083923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168541393275426,0.0,0.2396132045519161,0.16927368374074955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274594887133553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733070302129017,0.0,0.0,0.13061644856941138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696715503409613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166716365295782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17363916937682194,0.0,0.10461346736787046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586536536501972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908137368857432,0.0,0.0,0.12905138179110814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418197036104038,0.0,0.09137336490616832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426795344216272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190976751616327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179314946110467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235927491393286,0.0,0.12161041099794445,0.09800175059698968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038144093319593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18922472660443132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958978443115782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20710053086281927,0.0,0.0,0.13755580810550436,0.07870792443219436,0.0,0.0,0.2821620085045679,0.06908231988069426,0.0,0.11229816255419724,0.0,0.13162740651017474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963460906122866,0.0,0.09503156543198248,0.14426769775211834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chainedwheel,2019/01/28,"Feeling alone From philippines here.
I just can't find myself now since my family left me. I dont know what is happenning to me now. My mind is killing me.",0.5268750000000004,2.9177179375000044,1.9112500000000023,95.60875,88.375,5.7,20.5,7.1686216300943375,0.5341624999999994,122,4,27,2,4,39,26,32,0.195,0.76,0.046,-0.7096,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,8,0,2,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,19,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339523809547472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778992971007336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039693591945961,0.0,0.16303622307847554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29470589264677693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28513415013901505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3567339919958609,0.0,0.17720553798987368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35033387471750793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255742217081255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667271246973382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SElizabeth91,2019/01/28,"Anxiety and wanting to break up My anxiety has suddenly spiked since the beginning of January. Like, really really got bad. Some days I can barely get to work, and I can't keep food down.  When I'm anxious, I want to break up with my long term partner of three years, but when I'm not anxious, I'm happy and fine with no desire to end my relationship.  Has anyone else experiences this, and how did you overcome it? I take propanolol for the physical symptoms of anxiety but nothing else. ",5.694290780141841,6.393014670212764,6.7136170212765975,74.83333333333334,67.19148936170212,10.947517730496457,33.751773049645394,10.864195022040775,3.8497858156028366,385,17,72,11,6,129,64,94,0.179,0.735,0.086,-0.8135,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,1,0,15,15,9,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,8,3,13,13,2,14,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,10,43,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104906337405178,0.4041300512785513,0.0,0.12506563069849866,0.1832669580292523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934368596210845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153522644526753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29883527529823395,0.0,0.1584201142761327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496298189956627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162826491027965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344888065177097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305360936826722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19040369330395604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898224036360958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738375010994967,0.0,0.0,0.15828871165106764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162450690128084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22916928286139301,0.0,0.0,0.19203263427251965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795786887094065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590782965978567,0.13448321336531735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21099684314717346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13021487560972225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518233353749048
mentalhealth,pricklypear_bear,2019/01/28,"I’m loosing hope I have been going through a lot. I recently moved out of my dads abusive ex. But now we’re homeless and living in our car, using our friends gym to shower and go to the toilet. 

Things started happening when I was very young though. So way before any of the ex girlfriend bs. I’m schizophrenic and have depression and it’s getting too much. I have tried to kill myself in the past but failed, just like almost everything I have tried in my life. 

I stayed at home today because I knew that if I went out then I would end up killing myself or at least hurting myself. I don’t technically want to do that but Edwood, in my head, he won’t stop about it. 

I’m not going to do anything too irrational during today, however I can’t make any promises about tonight... I really wish that I could. I can’t go out because every single time I have tried I have a major panic attack or ‘episode’ where I think everyone is trying to hurt me or their following me. It’s been horrible. But staying in makes me stress because I didn’t get anything done, so then I’m a failure and I have to see my family and face them not understanding. 

I asked my dad to help me check into a hospital today because I can’t do this anymore. But he said no, he won’t let me go because ‘I won’t like it there’ I’m not supposed to ‘like it’ I’m supposed to not kill myself. If I’m there then they can protect me. From myself and from the others. 

I saw a giant ass squirrel today. Only now did I realise it wasn’t fucking real. It was like human sized and I was scared out of my mind. I know it sounds stupid, it’s because it is. But oh well I’ll keep trying for now. But I don’t know how much I have left in me. 

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mentalhealth,Spicefrio,2019/01/28,"Is thinking your friends secretly hate you a mental thing? I very often think that a lot of my friends and family secretly hate me or just talk to me out of pity for something. This has actually cost me my girlfriend in the past as I doubted myself so much and I just cut off ties completely.
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mentalhealth,4amsolitude,2019/01/28,"My friend claims to have found god. He also has schizoaffective disorder. I am scared and don't know how to talk to him. My friend who I have met online claims to have found god after an epiphany in a grocery store.
 While he seems much happier right now (even trying to get a job) I am concerned that this is a delusion caused by his illness. 
When I tried to gently tell him im concerned he replied that healthy people also have epiphanies. 
Imo I think those might as well be mental breakdowns  so idk how to argument against this and make him talk to his therapist. 
Any advice? ",3.4305357142857105,5.601865267857144,3.3172857142857133,91.2277142857143,74.89285714285714,6.265714285714287,25.485714285714288,7.1686216300943375,1.0574614285714286,458,16,91,5,10,138,77,112,0.103,0.721,0.177,0.8455,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,4,0,11,1,0,4,0,12,19,10,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,12,3,13,14,1,6,0,0,0,0,15,2,0,2,4,59,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656397111389313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889885718849681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287246936811776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856139821262052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20708146167865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934119822900018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962250793974793,0.279194641292265,0.0,0.09440081871864894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517155767835676,0.0,0.17930267318257664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930013327260703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060910523695915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208868400412548,0.1916789701063096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282477664326942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526471126935024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430459727426749,0.0,0.0,0.18089790273481032,0.0,0.0,0.16448947170763584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904566366483498,0.15792726249185482,0.0,0.0,0.20979001959533136,0.0,0.11577609833330905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453474543496553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624581403312891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,evilspells,2019/01/28,"Is it normal to have random thoughts in your head? Like random images, words, previous conversations, song lyrics etc. I get these sometimes without warning. Is it normal? ",5.115357142857143,8.741712678571433,4.418571428571429,75.8514285714286,82.92857142857143,5.6571428571428575,28.42857142857143,7.1686216300943375,2.3546857142857145,137,6,18,2,4,41,24,28,0.0,0.836,0.16399999999999998,0.5988,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,3,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,12,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679654526441776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17237775407278555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386091526111322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611898877905414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6465337495766975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32631478394597985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26193204363298545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31804618274405383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lagismyfriend37,2019/01/28,"Why am i so nostalgic about the years from 2012-2015 even tho i’m only 17 years old? And i’m nostalgic even about things that i didn’t experience and know that time, like music and shows... Does that have to do with the fact that i’ve been depressed for the past two years?",2.035789473684212,3.7822059122807055,2.726175438596492,95.82189473684211,77.59649122807018,6.665263157894738,18.417543859649122,7.554174236665415,0.033887017543860136,215,4,51,3,5,67,40,57,0.068,0.8859999999999999,0.046,-0.2869,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,6,8,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,2,1,6,6,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333540931329088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370951896726769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578972249283387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26502434525458823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488976257180068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236412015470672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842984824637277,0.0,0.0,0.2060566644647944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586360913091302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999576715427207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798314151244747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646620563428057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444747839051741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5234156768348611
mentalhealth,crexyisaword,2019/01/28,"The desire to be sick enough to be in the ER or have surgery is bringing me down Background: I have a few conditions going on with me. First I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and second I have Gastroparesis (a stomach disorder in which your food digests from your stomach way too slowly). I was in the ER 6 times in 2018, which almost all had to do with abdominal pain. Found out I had gallstones and had to have my gallbladder removed, btw I am only 22, and then my stomach issues began. More ER and doctors visits until after 6 months of pain I finally got diagnosed with Gastroparesis in September. 

Fast forward to today and I have not had to visit the ER for months. This is great news, but in the back of my mind I want a reason to. I get anxious and scared that my abdominal pain is not just a flair up of Gastroparesis, but appendicitis or something else. Then I feel crazy and stupid that I even thought it was something really serious as it goes away. I want to be right about something wrong with my body. I feel like I am going insane because of the desire to be in the ER or hospitalized, and idk why I can't shake it off. Maybe it's because that was a part of my life for almost a whole year and now I am doing better with medication. I just don't know, and it really brings me down.

Sorry if this is really long and sounds ridiculous. I just can't tell anyone this, and I have no idea what to do. I feel so guilty that I want to be sick again when there are so many people who are sick and want to be better. I need to be grateful that my Gastroparesis is not as severe as some other peoples' cases. Any advice? ",4.767364884604148,5.307653042944789,5.9201139351446095,80.26790388548059,69.1840490797546,8.908910312591292,27.793748174116274,8.976282227363876,2.0399367806018116,1276,40,257,22,21,427,162,326,0.177,0.7290000000000001,0.094,-0.9838,0,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,3,13,13,2,2,13,0,37,16,4,1,1,53,55,28,0,8,12,0,3,1,0,0,11,1,0,0,18,19,2,0,8,0,0,9,7,9,5,2,11,4,35,4,46,37,7,43,0,0,0,0,6,16,0,7,20,195,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445371027451893,0.0,0.0,0.21407396916137628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726902846323792,0.0,0.08177215396333848,0.12075763266471218,0.0,0.07474143258136567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100428634390224,0.08219341683300566,0.0,0.13032084817328665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18907472888133772,0.0,0.11873301153892453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849321822414004,0.0,0.0,0.24501518475083264,0.1094085804297736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089294622578931,0.0,0.0,0.11044809990649818,0.0,0.07060121532713444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214355277510925,0.07636372829669777,0.0,0.1170950564428659,0.0,0.09092235457950304,0.12925433587270824,0.11720165610736527,0.0,0.0,0.05584670363895805,0.0,0.121498472719908,0.0,0.08549136673603902,0.11784890325787813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066815525109127,0.0,0.11156756737125878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874509553473595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550104220868002,0.05222207437065373,0.0,0.0,0.09459613327965673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083717988214526,0.10738746864460252,0.0,0.0,0.10768253201464104,0.0,0.0,0.10793053634127438,0.0,0.17064048803518705,0.0,0.0,0.07925912807109592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812962488903508,0.3412221509982508,0.0,0.0,0.11575371364171333,0.0,0.14821102828628455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20543342414348467,0.10990286826758368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128525823264302,0.0,0.0,0.10701762654251476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075763266471218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468722524966774,0.0,0.1196569399902673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342839548013593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486037710029194,0.06232963552154262,0.0,0.10132119989355108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252190889517575,0.08484596322777066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645348249906016,0.11934119777688693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686971691190527,0.0,0.06883499942050879
mentalhealth,breentee,2019/01/28,"Do I maybe have PTSD? I never thought I could possibly have it, but I was talking to my MIL who does have PTSD and she told me I might since I have pretty much all the symtpoms of it.

Basically, my mom died when I was 15 and two weeks later, the day before our memorial for her, my older half brother (who I was very close to and saw as a mentor as well as a brother) touched me inappropriately and tried to get me to have sex with him. I have a theory that the two events being so traumatizing and happening so close together really left a mark.

I plan on bringing it up to my councelor when I see them this week, but I don't want to bring it up if there isn't really a possibility of it and waste time. I guess I just would like to know if I'm overreacting thinking that I might have it or if its a valid concern.",6.681279069767443,4.496447709302327,7.750813953488373,77.78691860465118,66.09302325581395,11.390697674418604,32.54651162790698,10.125756701596842,2.7268348837209304,634,19,146,12,8,218,102,172,0.095,0.8440000000000001,0.061,-0.7646,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,1,1,7,2,0,0,9,0,18,1,0,0,2,27,31,19,1,6,7,3,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,12,9,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,6,3,27,2,17,20,2,18,0,0,2,1,12,6,0,7,11,108,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082432588812146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275160990911238,0.0,0.0,0.09915178642248064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956139603602726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345419020841296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032459093688285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936570928860326,0.0,0.13595479773548896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449336238144721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670426746634434,0.0,0.0,0.07511126867606288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445592897281998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32619494351802103,0.0,0.1800624342621367,0.0,0.0,0.11301910295875177,0.0,0.11857640276559507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34664520924963643,0.0,0.1564123289479816,0.0,0.0,0.3594356590624334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969839421590904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225135997688121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717814499285854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357313654882793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851257505094307,0.0,0.1220551014326214,0.08964902402977934,0.0,0.0,0.14690842544797672,0.0,0.10438168956339987,0.0,0.3003699612718181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126854422043646,0.09068185192033734,0.0,0.2466473942308993,0.0,0.13823379758357535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921491379099203,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stonmands,2019/01/28,"I'm sick of the screaming in my head. I know what your thinking, I'm hearing voices, expect I'm not. They are like normal thoughts but every now and again my thoughts are screamed in my head. Every thought, no matter how boring or regular the matter is, is screamed in my head. It's at such a volume that it hurts my ears, I can't focus and it's distressing. It's often not even my own voice screaming and when there are no thoughts, its just screaming. I remember it used to happen when I was younger, maybe when I was 6-12, it went away for a while but in the past few months months it is back. 

I have done internet searches for this and nothing comes up, just psychotic disorders which I know I don't have because I know the screaming isn't real. It's driving me up the wall, I'm scared to talk to anyone in real life about it because well I think they will think I'm crazy. I just needed a place to vent about this.",3.695787354007248,4.381069984293195,4.349424083769634,90.04796214256945,71.6701570680628,7.133467579540877,27.257752718485705,7.010146845296331,1.1141192911800242,721,24,158,6,13,230,103,191,0.229,0.746,0.025,-0.9905,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,2,0,17,12,0,2,8,0,15,6,4,2,0,34,36,12,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,1,2,10,0,0,15,5,0,0,11,0,0,3,7,10,1,0,8,10,21,2,18,27,2,24,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,2,11,106,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160797480126807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230918847926811,0.10074161275770566,0.0,0.15972973173268804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285688603197158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015329580515915,0.0,0.0,0.134072720945615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865334544877258,0.0,0.22076974603400373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158551713527902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40337421942885776,0.0,0.1476622027297162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140253104489201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21600546225491601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253900190624174,0.06400678054717295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162108594663707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091481122065198,0.0,0.0,0.09714515706135488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836581870219801,0.1257113838205058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506760531972924,0.0,0.0,0.13688165510124026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982450331540245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484132247755403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116778334327026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530402124771117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518452776886234,0.0,0.416041652857899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315395655365308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779724270526085,0.12145121072725637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ekstar7,2019/01/28,"Finally getting help I feel like I have struggled with a mental illness for a long time, and recently after a breakup I have felt it harder then ever. I usually would just try to get through it myself but this time I feel really different and feel like I should finally go seek some professional help. I can go days without eating, I am always down and sad and have been for a long time.

​

Can anyone let me know their experience in going to the doctor to seek help about this for the first time?",7.6906122448979595,6.8090296938775525,7.827469387755105,73.8532448979592,63.28571428571429,11.105306122448981,33.885714285714286,10.355215969177356,3.3320179591836734,402,14,75,8,5,131,63,98,0.077,0.7829999999999999,0.14,0.7391,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,3,4,0,1,6,0,10,3,0,0,1,17,20,6,0,2,3,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,5,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,2,4,11,2,13,15,1,20,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,17,54,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138099169063445,0.15805720202631932,0.17725599883860246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200028914173402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940783192121854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240996680490254,0.0,0.14931085012686626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926814864812374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195370863689154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269527641753602,0.0,0.0,0.22127872980658564,0.20842850069068514,0.1400643831497467,0.3196013028312696,0.0,0.12408253543254626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524289733832759,0.0,0.2487150483947131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933339686201021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016994755457454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149168675677891,0.0,0.1425358466226629,0.0,0.0,0.2581923469478859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470092714459554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345226575724024,0.0,0.14403551362756073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250186356281556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402472029620322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099040615050646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066243193607746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061980730899798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362652951687684,0.0,0.17725599883860246,0.0
mentalhealth,Blondy93,2019/01/28,"New to reddit Hey, so I have a question. I’m newly out of a long relationship with a man who was very loving and supportive. Now that I’m back into dating I’ve been told my self harming scars (old) are “a turn off”. Is this a common thought among men? ",-0.4927762803234508,1.7029749245283017,2.057196765498656,93.7990566037736,92.2075471698113,4.538005390835579,17.005390835579515,6.18269132825596,-0.30830242587601075,193,5,43,2,7,66,45,53,0.07,0.8,0.13,0.469,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,12,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,2,2,7,8,0,11,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,1,7,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21824272367035627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25117483335169155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561617565655486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741184691815716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978249801733011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179472346112319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30472018129639694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29608977150648746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32207950235246274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253241262337237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712054818840239,0.0,0.0,0.3087184257851741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23418408137285074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Necturion,2019/01/28,"Nothing in my life is normal anymore I am a mess lately. I can't enjoy myself anymore. I used to be the most lonely person in the world, then found friends and with them happiness, but since we grew older (we are between 18 & 20 now), things have changed. We meet once a week usually which is pretty much the only social situation I face each week, but I don't feel like I can enjoy myself anymore. Usually when this happened when I was around my friends it was I wanted to do something at home, now it is just there for no reason, like on saturday we met collectively to play billiards and it was ok for half an hour, then this perpetual feeling of just feeling nothing overcame me and I wanted to go home asap (I stayed for a little longer though because I actually knew if I went home I'd just end up drinking beer and watch documentaries on YouTube). I fucking hate it. Nothing is fun anymore, I don't even wash myself daily no more and I hurt myself on purpose after several years being 'clean' from it. I don't even know why I do it, but I don't think it's too bad since I like to see the scars, I think they are beautiful somehow. My parents notice that I am acting 'strange' lately, since I used to go outside all day skateboarding or do something else with friends but now I don't even visit on the weekends or go shopping even if I have close to no food at home (which they noticed) and I don't even care to pretend that I am ok in front of them. I mean I don't say 'Hi mum, I am a fucking mess and I want to die now' but yesterday was this weird situation where my mum told asked me if I was ok and what I did all weekend and I am a good liar, I could have told how much fun I had but I literally was too lazy to think so I jsut said ""I was just at home all time, and yeah I am ok"" with my hungover face not changing in expression or tone. I've become pretty apathetic. I don't give a shit what other people think since they don't care about me. The only light at the end of the tunnel are my beers after work & I think if nothing changes I'll be an alcoholic at age 20. I'm desperate, I am a pathetic 20 year old male who lost all interest, can't take care of himself anymore, I don't do anything, have no life goals, I hate ~~my~~ **any** job, society & people in general, was bullied a shit ton & never was in a relationship (not because I am too ugly or anything, more a pathetic socially awkward gay piece of shit). Honestly, I don't think my life will get any better than below average. I want to die, I told myself at age 14 I'd kill myself by 30 if I don't find someone worth living for but now I think it is more close to 22, 21 or maybe even 20. I need help but no one can help really. I was in therapy and psychiatry before. I don't know anymore. I got heartbroken this weekend again from a fucking stranger 350km away and it's enough to set me off. But I was not doing good even before, so it's really jsut a small fragment of what probably set me off.",2.891142877114497,3.9328930884244393,4.61370334125542,86.06831259611353,73.90353697749197,7.595190829022787,26.865790577380125,8.04050195162591,1.5404006990074088,2319,83,501,34,46,787,269,622,0.202,0.675,0.123,-0.9958,2,2,6,0,0,5,73.0,4,0,5,4,31,42,10,1,22,5,60,18,5,4,5,84,108,39,3,12,26,3,3,3,3,1,5,2,6,2,24,23,5,0,17,9,2,8,24,18,0,2,23,8,84,24,57,80,14,75,0,3,2,4,36,29,6,12,38,334,108,3,0.0,0.0,0.053237229305125436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05830206744491294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364386982905338,0.0,0.07419773173279727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246198608406657,0.0,0.0,0.08978725326988142,0.048564986283924416,0.051001003981421836,0.0,0.051255658926514826,0.0,0.045550649087450636,0.06651171735572581,0.06025105373956913,0.09284356035602906,0.0,0.0,0.048248937536625874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166865553997226,0.0,0.17313397917739395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043557252926885545,0.0,0.0,0.035183077782476584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323771785403294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344254741218781,0.0,0.0,0.0455732047604451,0.0,0.0966380197100108,0.05636928324537858,0.0,0.2522286879836437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275303840020501,0.038973677534278967,0.0,0.0,0.04986173745210525,0.0,0.06596740256889944,0.059816088783206225,0.1264457929573434,0.15130400387588766,0.028502424744383737,0.052333555926817,0.0930135759930776,0.09151529249534404,0.043632140984389986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824227980368554,0.05807417811318515,0.0,0.10772236018405897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313333486841503,0.0,0.2736125794529427,0.0,0.05372509936588266,0.0,0.058401618426682574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05413682866548728,0.0,0.06035636576313148,0.0,0.05996334807529865,0.0,0.12307948918350688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560016796627492,0.07995757928889674,0.05467784534806699,0.04817253872944095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05955257703179007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054807232013555564,0.05942573976215752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020752895687486,0.04045139974163089,0.0420757199864461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345173349408252,0.2093856901496453,0.12422110240284738,0.057245670570790275,0.05809866041728937,0.03696747642424246,0.08298216600134306,0.0,0.0,0.06057621021044321,0.0,0.0,0.07564231019484342,0.047634801820027765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100288424591498,0.058818875165214723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989789704193163,0.056091013934142515,0.0,0.05857101410571607,0.0,0.0,0.05189373159097672,0.04338385217753249,0.0,0.0,0.04347279726974264,0.0,0.0,0.061630948884418536,0.16799793700846996,0.18051186888147974,0.12264287298153392,0.0,0.11122269054753926,0.04622376996708378,0.0839972918694583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05814773659052797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04101812286667788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623877161036812,0.0,0.03624352230569773,0.2446938175234417,0.053599425514541436,0.0,0.031811112027001306,0.0,0.0,0.15638721436890118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423497922820932,0.12016793851896786,0.0,0.12871040511475362,0.0,0.08752050537037404,0.0,0.0,0.05057247960524094,0.04922686474095515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03971625627593926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702624958295338
mentalhealth,tempesthoughts,2019/01/28,"They asked me to smell a tissue at a PIP assessment. Last year I went to a PIP assessment (UK disability benefits) and I'm still worrying about it.  

When I went in, the assessor offered me a tissue and told me to smell it. That was a weird request so I said no thanks. She told me it had lavender in it and offered again, I said no thanks. She offered again then left it on the chair next to me. That completely threw me off, just didn't sit right. She didn't ask me anything much and just talked to my care coordinator about not taking medication. She ended the assessment early and as I was leaving she asked me to smell the tissue again. I said no thanks. She said I could take it home if I wanted. I said no.  

I asked my care coordinator and she said it was strange and changed the subject. I looked online and didn't find anything like this.  I know lavender is supposed to be calming but a stranger badgering you to smell it isn't calming. I doubt it was lavender, that could have been anything. I think there was something dodgy in there and they're trying to drug me. Since the assessment I've felt even worse, constant worrying, more voices, bad sleep. I'm stressed.",2.3909599096555603,4.721772545454549,3.2429738377564483,89.7006098249577,78.95670995670996,6.4416337285902525,25.19499341238472,7.586124646067393,1.2525379634857896,922,35,190,14,23,292,111,231,0.133,0.787,0.08,-0.8839,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,0,13,13,0,2,12,0,16,3,1,0,0,22,45,15,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,7,1,0,13,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,9,4,0,0,22,13,34,9,18,20,2,24,0,0,1,0,26,8,0,2,13,123,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408649441405581,0.0,0.36484329427544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146334175844759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894960774896686,0.0,0.10321164680258982,0.0,0.10229585249031037,0.10543393537358788,0.0,0.15579665503469597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314531691442567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641431224593782,0.0,0.0,0.0644412702347741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367843855932856,0.0,0.08917334527840799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786642129552564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361959505627098,0.07952912363381519,0.0,0.10330806194591956,0.10600549345089086,0.0,0.0,0.047665706477525535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193067336133322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828724778981572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172206624838867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376230215069206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332063360331457,0.5568443317153378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070741230227263,0.0,0.09763622979359772,0.0,0.0,0.07511089557921295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791614912396147,0.0,0.11176125870574267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467146320994474,0.07841966936607954,0.0,0.2694763550574745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251620521781863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18645654666489,0.0,0.06624075273997901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05754681837574582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18088889059492608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981655486722465,0.09942785384919596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282915639219444
mentalhealth,metalhair,2019/01/28,"Risk having children taken / live feeling afraid of aliens in my bathroom I was thinking about asking my GP for a referral to deal with my paranoia/anxiety problems. Since giving birth to my first son I have become extremely paranoid about normal and really irrational things. This involves hearing sounds, thinking people are trying to get into my house, people looking through the windows etc, me holding my baby on the couch and not moving because I think I can hear someone walking around in my house. I'm afraid to disclose any of this to my GP because she also sees my children and the clinic is attached to our child welfare office. The thing is I know there aren't really people in my house, but I can really hear it. I know there's something wrong with my feelings because I often lay awake striken with this persistent feeling of fear and doom for no logical reason. I don't dwell or fixate on anything that makes me upset, I put a lot of energy into relaxing myself and reassuring myself that everything is ok. I don't think I'm 'crazy crazy' but after 4+ years of this I'm ready to look for help. I'm afraid I'll come off dangerously delusional and/or not really get the help I need. Care is based on need/risk, if I complain of general anxiety it's not likely I'll get the appropriate help.",7.205211428571433,7.143604904000004,7.563885714285713,72.63880000000002,63.96,10.182857142857145,35.05714285714286,9.784248007369934,3.470834285714286,1046,43,179,19,14,343,141,250,0.133,0.715,0.152,0.7476,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,2,7,17,1,7,8,1,13,1,0,2,0,38,42,10,0,4,7,1,3,1,0,0,1,4,2,3,10,12,0,1,11,1,0,4,7,12,0,1,2,10,30,5,33,40,2,18,1,1,3,0,18,10,0,4,5,114,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085350984555461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257924537932273,0.0,0.1632944830995263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782871032335854,0.0950112617738242,0.09977702272327614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19518266159183248,0.11787357676849253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088171269398157,0.0,0.0,0.09193741267718512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003270861729106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903082693239744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592096550016806,0.0,0.0,0.12009957484287995,0.16189586769478356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078346462481783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728418223441965,0.1023839922994843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608733506612488,0.0,0.21461419909457768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3694521241499969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731071697436007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0521423016725483,0.0,0.09424348770067742,0.0,0.17925062701655053,0.0,0.0,0.09073701096828918,0.0,0.0,0.07124230422803875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343582611141227,0.0,0.1582761089440228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457156548095246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22197693909813845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212504966124168,0.0,0.10729192489916307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734928145337109,0.10973498431358744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504903712498567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828716808089357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043096775195343,0.08216504622737966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418117474700878,0.2735500277061798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246185082797853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669119063241072,0.0,0.06872984937248723
mentalhealth,asraimun,2019/01/28,"What's a trivial reason you're happy you've stayed alive? So, I am posting this because so many stories that dominate mental health media are highlight huge life changing reasons people stay alive when they don’t feel like it. Being Canadian and with Bell Let’s talk coming up, I know we are about to be flooded with those stories. But I wonder, especially on bad days when the big reasons sound out of reach, what are the small reasons you are happy you stayed?

For me, it’s all the colours I haven’t dyed my hair yet, and giving my tatoos airtime. ",5.537062750333779,6.387454214953272,5.369559412550071,83.7910280373832,67.5981308411215,7.235781041388518,30.238985313751673,6.868970318607317,1.6567527369826438,439,16,82,3,7,136,81,107,0.056,0.7340000000000001,0.209,0.9458,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,2,1,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,10,3,1,4,1,16,15,7,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,11,3,9,12,1,15,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,1,5,50,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421718598414914,0.0906891397863476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737950407955287,0.12815264637561327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594469022845878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522285461455477,0.10628170284615228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427142572061453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167380104600773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158136126220441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176039759391407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212795572405324,0.1050810314213631,0.07268177070541877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508299761700176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14992571219072862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313875984186817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248105246549447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6118435674995855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757088003349359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957612398648812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133530350843514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MarylandLax,2019/01/28,"Why we need to stop focusing on talk spaces, and start focusing on creating a healthier environment I would like to preface this by saying talk spaces can be extremely helpful for people who are generally depressed, or maybe experiencing suicidal thoughts. However, if someone genuinely wants to kill their self, they will likely never try to talk about it, because they know that talking about their depression will ultimately make it harder for them to kill themselves which is what they want to accomplish. Therefore, someone who’s already decided to kill themselves will not seek help, and will actively minimize their warning signs, as they know it will warrant investigation, which is against their perceived best interest. On the inverse, someone who blatantly says they want to kill themselves, or says they have suicidal thoughts likely isn’t yet at risk, and just needs to say that as an avenue to access a talk space, however, you should treat the situation as if they are at risk, because if they get the indication that you aren’t taking them seriously, it can be counter-intuitive. A genuinely suicidal person may still show signs of suicidal tendencies unwillingly, but most of people will realistically disregard them once the suicidal person says that they’re fine.
So the next logical solution to lowering suicide, is identifying the main causes. We need to gather statistics through notes left behind, testimony from loved ones, and general background research in order to identify why most people commit suicide. You could also likely narrow the scope of factors by demographic. Ex: men vs women, teens vs adults, etc. Once those variables have been identified, there must be reform to make those factors less stress/anxiety/depression inducing if its an unavoidable factor like school or work, take action to minimize factors that can be cut out of people’s lives, like bullying for example, and educate people on how to cope with unavoidable factors that can’t be reformed, like the loss of a loved one. This is a goal that can easily be achieved among teens more so than adults, as teens are inherently more likely to commit suicide due to a handful of factors, such as school or loneliness/alienation, whereas adults are more vulnerable to a wide variety of factors.",16.125008898556462,11.415564447300776,13.946838046272493,48.36693296420805,51.05655526992289,17.933241052007123,54.85880957089185,15.195765016291151,8.011351829147719,1866,97,266,58,13,589,211,389,0.175,0.71,0.115,-0.9839,5,2,0,0,0,5,46.0,2,3,15,6,11,25,5,2,17,0,35,3,1,6,5,58,53,23,12,14,13,1,1,8,0,10,0,5,0,8,22,9,0,2,8,1,0,1,5,11,0,2,3,7,21,14,53,33,9,24,0,3,0,2,47,15,0,11,15,184,43,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347360738463336,0.05324466992987427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117411842889342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987247893028355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839685838243657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315937925063803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203792763143186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742552312021336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034785738418646496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925546086801778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29464731792689275,0.0,0.07318217167697633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234027236017325,0.0,0.0,0.26022426397527754,0.0,0.058792097382333826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018360668497785,0.0,0.08888644913523508,0.0,0.06688939812565528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481065371841122,0.05135124475727745,0.0,0.07080947367861692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181283325011348,0.09023379424198412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23079383942048826,0.11627163447292725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647387629254667,0.0,0.13476671979800264,0.0,0.0,0.06945833195259743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483964849845914,0.0,0.0,0.16924117704570016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047126257910998094,0.0,0.05317154107201488,0.05566455959850422,0.07626812187648249,0.0,0.0,0.5826290184410602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012100410827764,0.2675757668617906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057154921444359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045204016684030665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781330511964774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201576957333342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04847164106818595,0.0,0.0,0.04729711509559675,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mighty_Mac,2019/01/28,"Question about intellectual issues I notice when it comes to things I’m either extremely smart or dumb as a rock. I know this is strange to hear, and slightly embarrassing, but I’m a bit curious if there’s more to “me” than I’m able to realize. Things that involve logic and computers just comes easy to me. Figuring out how to do things, especially things that adults do, it’s like I’m just unable to understand. I’m very dyslexic and unable to read large amounts of text without getting confused. Complex text books are fine, but anything fictional I just don’t get. My life is very simple, I watch cartoons, play video games, and play with my stuffed animals. That’s really about it, I have no desire to really do anything. I don’t have any issues with depression, I’m usually quite happy. I just feel like I’m a lot slower than the majority of people, especially my age. I am able to learn most things, just at a very slow pace. I was able to figure out the stock market and make it quite well in my favor actually. But little things like trying to tie my shoes confuses the heck out of me. It really doesn’t make sense. I’m aware I’m autistic and dyslexic, I don’t know if that’s all the problem or there’s more to it. Maybe my brain just works different? I’m chemistry I had the highest grade in the school, but I can’t do anything past basic multiplication in math.

So I’m not completely sure if this qualifies as a intellectual disability or what. I was wondering what some good resources would be to read up on or look into, or if anyone has experience or knowledge in this area? I’m also quite self sufficient, but not fully able to live on my own. I’m sure this is all confusing because I’m not good at communication, so feel free to ask any questions. ",3.0795193640817082,5.141046627507167,4.657951751548204,81.71923930122934,75.56160458452722,8.056234402440152,26.15777798317775,8.841846274778883,2.0819615676125336,1399,52,275,31,31,469,174,349,0.07400000000000001,0.7509999999999999,0.175,0.9906,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,4,16,22,1,4,11,0,22,3,2,3,4,71,51,28,0,7,26,0,2,3,0,1,1,1,0,2,22,14,0,0,15,8,1,2,10,7,1,0,3,5,23,16,41,46,12,22,0,1,2,0,8,15,2,19,8,167,45,12,0.3658894610575046,0.0,0.0892638334507085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315041745386629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440869020167278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639596046312798,0.0,0.22582188798584754,0.0,0.08551431366053946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05576070484936478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998641317338036,0.0,0.0,0.10211341136253176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759068631702547,0.09590703464512104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878501416643735,0.0,0.0,0.09556915280075966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894775253993131,0.0,0.0,0.09250235262944476,0.06534787602191311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558107093597656,0.0,0.0,0.15344536021356747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737403374564904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309600366196282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094676813883996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005416394805693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460963674545221,0.13406633166160564,0.09167934064749593,0.08077177437986298,0.0,0.07681374891819565,0.0,0.0,0.07776653386503571,0.0,0.0,0.12211702821705615,0.0,0.0918962856296008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414189412824708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732072295871886,0.06341542062942472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752669994524008,0.0,0.0,0.2049399670606698,0.2918763600439861,0.1829942379710004,0.0,0.17579861841640934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257491712406038,0.0,0.0,0.09542562635233746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17242324346139534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3646210497041814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06210373161075933,0.0,0.0,0.09522595818643953,0.0,0.0,0.100743887220286,0.2264228433125196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224464176211763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817609591589204,0.09919787817935427,0.06659297134307815,0.0,0.0,0.06497934381344063,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Maximus3652,2019/01/28,"My SO (age 15) is Dissociating, and His Parents Don't Want to Get Him a Therapist or Psychiatrist To preface this post, sorry if this isn't formatted right or I'm all over the place, this is only my second reddit post and I'm quite frankly worried. My boyfriend (M15) has really bad anxiety, and is disociating a lot. He's a really good kid (no drugs, alcahol, good student, good heart), but his parents come from a different culture and think that he's just being a mean spirited, sarcastic, rebelious teen who's completely out of control when really, he just has bad anxiety. They don't treat him like they care that much (they yell at him for no reason completely out of nowhere, and his dad is even more agressive than his mom). I dissociate, and I have dissociated before, but I worked through it with my therapist and later my pasychiatrist. His parents have a therapist for him, but the therapist reports everything he talks about back to them, and just invalidates whatever he says during their sessions. His parents like the fact that the therapist tells them what they want to hear: He is a rebellious, mean spirited, sarcastic boy who's completely out of control. His dissociation is to the point that he doesn't know what his opinions are, stares off into space often, isn't showing any emotion (depersonalization), and it has been going on for the last month. His parents won't get him a psychiatrist because according to them, ""he's perfectly fine and normal"". He just hung out with me, and he was dissociating and panicing the whole time, and I felt like I couldn't do anything to help him. I'm worried for him because he doesn't have the support that I do, and he obviously isn't okay (I just understood it, but he's been dissociated constantly for the last month). What can I do/say (or not) during an episode, and what can I do to help him? I'm in the US, if that helps anyone. Thank you for your responses in advanced!",7.9572631578947375,7.3544104191780875,8.357447728911321,69.35987743330935,62.61643835616438,12.286950252343187,37.84066330209085,11.622719091009314,4.4355753424657545,1533,68,284,42,19,509,174,365,0.118,0.772,0.11,0.3298,6,0,1,0,0,0,60.0,1,2,8,6,11,16,0,1,19,1,31,2,1,3,4,58,51,26,0,6,15,7,1,3,0,1,1,3,0,2,18,23,0,2,7,1,0,3,12,3,0,1,5,5,43,13,34,43,5,30,2,0,1,0,60,15,0,8,13,188,61,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05387435961540603,0.0,0.12121076293557095,0.0,0.0,0.05539456665252192,0.0,0.06519378232425066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060917600183778224,0.13229579893304186,0.096587216233639,0.0,0.06741294163288286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077313284854139,0.0,0.0,0.06824360334410079,0.2491914382705549,0.08561192319032923,0.1777106716445927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277117776549961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187353338088376,0.0,0.0,0.08911521674378885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232604718849156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120052796092093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606650798069603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278149990459745,0.0,0.04502425905427824,0.1993454919602577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929008362988328,0.0938796415722082,0.15930452955477553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435388913179464,0.12915464456120465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611307461797425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735256523795878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259415346482096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278502517619608,0.12647009244562865,0.0,0.058238023696561586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762172360463558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060252664716508475,0.0,0.09295112602869668,0.4398388544771776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277117776549961,0.0,0.07489134622765674,0.0,0.15174747776969094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426341685485678,0.0,0.0,0.1522568555798497,0.08145444302160526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765601282870705,0.0,0.1260026256398814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868366726195502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990132647598822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367644996453052,0.06924439767766626,0.07293789843862647,0.0,0.4599200706848746,0.0,0.050762902288474215,0.0,0.0,0.0461955709180013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529551973496958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934555610994742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844965511527754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767529069198706,0.16090961294182876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bigfriendmood,2019/01/28,"beta testing for free online art therapy program Some background on me: I was diagnosed with severe PTSD about three years ago, after finally accepting treatment. What helped me move towards recovery was art-journaling daily and talking to others who related to my experience (outside of talk-therapy and EMDR.) With encouragement from my therapist, I started an arts-integrated support group called 'Creative Coping' for people who suffer from trauma, mental illness, or who are just trying to cope with day-to-day living. It's been really helpful for me, as a facilitator, and for the members of our community, and my goal is to make it free and accessible to everyone, either as a therapy aid or to bridge the time when you can't access other treatments.

This is open to everyone who wants to try something different in their self-care routine or is trying to process something intense. I designed it around the experience of trauma but members who suffer from bpd or depression have also told me it was helpful for them, and so I hope it will be helpful for you too!

​

Below is a link with a simple reflective exercise and information about the project. You can try it out anonymously by leaving out your personal information and skipping the upload; my main goal is just to gather input about user's experience with the project so I can refine it. Here is the link: [https://drive.google.com/open?id=18zXUOAq3hNofyz3Oxf9JFAPoBBuLdqs5](https://drive.google.com/open?id=18zXUOAq3hNofyz3Oxf9JFAPoBBuLdqs5)

Ultimately I'd like to build a leadership resource packet so others can lead similar groups in their own communities, but for right now it's only for independent users to try. Let me know what you think!",12.866696356275305,11.980652042105262,11.260350877192984,53.37886639676114,53.140350877192965,13.681511470985155,44.02834008097166,12.502718667466526,5.819485829959514,1412,63,193,35,13,442,168,285,0.066,0.825,0.11,0.9018,1,0,2,0,0,0,55.0,1,5,3,3,14,12,0,0,13,0,19,3,0,3,0,40,27,21,0,2,9,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,19,17,0,0,8,2,2,2,1,5,0,1,5,0,23,9,46,19,4,20,0,3,0,0,28,10,0,6,9,149,42,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980573634626116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846223986466795,0.0,0.11985600004628535,0.13441459631473293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847465817361828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932117628784593,0.0,0.11295470599298328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268063571026032,0.0,0.09527626859174236,0.11227629349934372,0.0,0.11557365785445785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140302449818726,0.0,0.3246207987546869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211780712167702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29658322603697723,0.0,0.0,0.1098699564600232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06079349194231426,0.0,0.0,0.1171299004569943,0.0,0.11311576169731576,0.0,0.05404301803519987,0.0,0.09767889682916124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383926310817436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114782687491632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757084362856902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413098671247451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668951656191099,0.09658853394854143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930807951720547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086557667305869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944683051462026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115400088494922,0.12496835866126442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17032033234800992,0.0,0.0,0.0782969325706695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552950709768193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782325781172206,0.0,0.0,0.37950854026554215,0.1284375704797268,0.0,0.0708804013567244,0.0,0.0,0.06450302208812841,0.0,0.0,0.10570151224909363,0.0,0.3755163260487711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524614808374181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441459631473293,0.07123522303484016
mentalhealth,ConnorPistachio,2019/01/28,"Someone Finally Understands I’ve been going through a pretty rough time for the past couple of years, I’ve really just been struggling with my identity I guess. For a while now I’ve just felt like such a failure to the point that I knew that I needed to talk to someone before I made a stupid decision. So I did. And the reply to my story wasn’t just, “ oh I know how that feels”, or some false attempt to relate to my problems, they just simply said, “That sounds difficult to go through, but everything is going to be okay.” It just means so much to me that they didn’t try to relate to it or make it about them, they truly just wanted me to feel better.    

I’m not sure if this is the right sub for this but I just wanted to share this with anyone that is going through something similar. And I don’t know what you’re going through but I’m sure it’s rough, and I hope everything gets better soon.",4.231938405797102,4.734456288043479,5.011739130434783,86.44123188405798,70.3586956521739,8.089855072463768,25.65942028985507,8.07648339933343,1.3265050724637688,703,19,149,9,12,228,100,184,0.08,0.7879999999999999,0.132,0.9106,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,4,3,14,12,1,1,8,1,10,0,0,3,2,40,34,13,0,6,14,0,5,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,14,5,0,0,9,0,0,5,4,4,0,0,9,7,18,8,24,24,2,14,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,6,8,100,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331828854534712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257341681000359,0.0,0.0,0.2613661087366648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349530845952967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26559704812177914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494253258003791,0.0,0.14187422873952032,0.16186551971194058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719929417455279,0.0,0.4198813773280592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277597012260694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676052708675835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241173125694267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218881364616722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398155204241161,0.0986319602064873,0.0,0.0,0.16095561014833262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086217168975394,0.10956329282272477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410550878581425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968239462247445,0.0,0.0,0.15032658435161328,0.0,0.1413878164584799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465981165314633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618752844681427,0.1405550400302869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503957082633051,0.11375403501721075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447242038100634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785269628004675,0.0,0.0,0.11876511052513497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616092902327656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032037094809096,0.0,0.0,0.1538249506330141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17430714258332775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515357261054223
mentalhealth,Di1202,2019/01/29,"Escaping a cycle I can’t bring myself to do work, but I feel useless and super stressed  when I don’t do work, and this is further demotivating me. This started a couple months ago and I’m tired of being exhausted even though I do no work. I’m just tired with nothing to motivate me. I wanna break the cycle, but I can’t bring myself to. Any advice? ",3.6941666666666633,4.52062341666667,5.595444444444446,80.59400000000002,71.77777777777777,7.982222222222222,26.9,8.238735603445708,1.7310133333333335,274,9,55,4,5,95,44,72,0.292,0.627,0.081,-0.9507,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,5,4,4,0,1,3,0,8,3,0,1,0,10,14,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,0,1,10,1,6,13,0,8,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,39,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271325486225916,0.20603938249114367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806360123793056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571846310518226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352096092096693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752599401126401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18552720072735293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22302741242771054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16451851312484594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662532220071553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283659627661568,0.0,0.0,0.5342991075864416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5076458011361513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zech147,2019/01/29,"Took my own advise and dealt with an issue instead of accepting it. So giving advise and strategy during therapy is one thing, but doing the same in your own life can be a challenge. It’s hard to address family issues without some level of discomfort, but it was worth it. 

My sister has fallen on hard times and I agreed to help  her family get on there feet. Well they started to disrupt my life in ways that would become unhealthy if not addressed. I explained my side and she and her husband were pretty angry. Instead of leaving it at that I listened and tried to understand her situation. I tried my best to give a thoughtful response. I think we were all uncomfortable but in the end we better understand each other. ",6.073790849673202,7.1441125882352985,6.615098039215687,74.55016339869283,66.5,8.98562091503268,32.02287581699346,9.150863307647796,2.9595924836601286,576,23,96,10,9,188,93,136,0.136,0.662,0.202,0.8764,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,1,3,5,6,0,1,5,0,9,3,1,0,1,26,20,11,0,2,6,2,2,0,0,1,2,1,2,0,9,10,0,0,6,0,1,2,2,1,1,1,5,3,18,5,16,13,7,14,0,0,0,0,17,8,0,2,3,81,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638787814962678,0.0,0.0,0.16760648621420868,0.14125110162961574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145624173570273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011219961560537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344222898593938,0.30641803961990216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861387652376309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070506900609942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33339287361278114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691105304672017,0.0,0.0,0.22561672729628965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822407779295233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624831600892562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795214754989417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130440284617349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18264306071219133,0.0,0.10610466704538683,0.10233614325972096,0.0,0.12679242563022358,0.09312857126576388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744442179823464,0.2168661113838086,0.0,0.0,0.3325288629051157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677088943250509,0.0,0.0,0.14359906545466564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15395537870523324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134538718334522,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Avacyn028,2019/01/29,"I haven't felt this bad in years and I dont know what to do. About six years ago I tried to kill myself, it obviously didnt work and I had improved dramatically. I just got the job I've been working towards for years and I'm in a happy relationship. I have a good relationship with my family and have friends who love me. 

None of that seems to matter. The past couple of days I haven't left my bed, I've been finding no entertainment in the things that use to bring me joy. It's hard to get through the days at work and I love my job. Today I was just sitting making food and I just thought ""man, not being here doing this doesnt sound so bad"" 

I'm scared, I've been suicidal, I've felt like this before. I dont want this and I dont know how to stop it. I want some magic pill I can take to make it all go away. I keep hoping maybe I'll just wake up and feel better. I know that's not how that works and I dont know how I'm going to get through this.

Is there anything I can do? How can I fight this? I just feel like giving up at this point but I cant, I have a life I desperately want to live and enjoy.

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mentalhealth,watermelonsareskanky,2019/01/29,"All my problems sound like a cliche or childish drama so it’s really hard to talk bout it For example, a lot of people I know have depression but ik it just sounds like someone trying to be interesting and deep talking about mental health. It’s not like I have an inkling my family will react like this, ik they will. They will think I’m just being dramatic and I don’t have the slightest clue about what mental disorders are. But I do, I’ve had friends who starve, cut, hate, and have even tried to kill the self.
I think I’ve been a good friend but it’s really hard to talk about it with anyone. Bcz people monetise mental disorders, so all my stories sound second hand drama I’ve picked up to look interesting.
Of course this is pretty first world and I’m not the one WITH depression but it really bugs me sometimes. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for them to speak up, everyone will think their just being dramatic.",3.5512072072072094,5.287848372972976,4.464324324324327,85.02261261261263,73.37837837837839,8.176576576576577,23.684684684684683,8.841846274778883,1.6123225225225224,739,21,148,15,15,239,102,185,0.161,0.6579999999999999,0.181,0.7353,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,4,1,11,15,3,0,7,0,20,2,1,3,3,29,28,12,1,2,10,0,4,4,2,5,1,4,0,1,12,6,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,6,0,3,2,9,14,9,17,17,3,5,0,2,1,0,12,4,0,2,5,95,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776341965731653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21621278933344507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28770348304861665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658037282688287,0.0,0.0,0.11993552611757408,0.0,0.0,0.11832492865698907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067634976424271,0.0,0.0,0.1939460686078769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052765227406156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373119474659238,0.1239206606061696,0.0,0.1334172039312075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388644048343395,0.0,0.06898008633446476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24528231103292736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540148458738924,0.0,0.0,0.10670886704565734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37947058264216615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505261287643119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403341391899674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769447978526136,0.0,0.12010146940085015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24122550494488676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309401354167642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634895299808518,0.0,0.12413812899120495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026540329621364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412759679760338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704336945502274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,viceroyinwaves,2019/01/29,"I don’t even know how to label this Lately I’ve been seeking so weird. I feel like dreams/reality are getting mixed up, I feel like I’m losing time and forgetting things. The only change in my life is that my husband started a new job and I started my externship for school. I hate my externship, it gives me anxiety and I breakdown every night and every morning in tears. I’m super irritable and I’m also feeling super paranoid lately. I can’t sleep because I feel cracked out then I’m tired all day. I suffer from chronic migraines and think I might be considered a highly sensitive person (don’t know if these make any difference in my story) 

No I don’t do drugs. The only prescription I have is my Zoloft. 

Has anyone experienced this? I’m only 24 and feel like my world is crumbling down on me.",2.7100000000000013,4.927347169811323,4.42576100628931,82.21184905660381,77.30188679245283,7.007295597484277,26.32327044025157,8.021203637495839,1.848514968553459,636,25,118,11,15,214,99,159,0.16,0.731,0.109,-0.7391,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,4,9,1,0,4,0,14,7,1,2,1,22,33,12,0,1,1,1,5,3,0,1,6,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,8,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,6,21,5,10,30,1,18,0,2,0,0,3,9,0,2,12,70,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043609607973458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391067435077023,0.0,0.10564380316639264,0.0,0.0,0.09656061151990762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418263042862098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608828201679672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906112041771475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428193998509697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014864095608736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121174548822396,0.0,0.2327053046242325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491298839486976,0.2959695063742037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214996647111772,0.1324751960332156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363421664151747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590702961787547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370399328512289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178896504169334,0.0,0.3115587918400562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754197309670153,0.2024016102679958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449518428340414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218079903409818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649906064486878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337491303202328,0.0,0.12959465030107753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150869030472943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058094653334905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571845838018083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976150510055416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819670080863367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19549149063715973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917454898171976,0.08848696151461331,0.0,0.0,0.08052545307077309,0.15872215078450527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,depressedcereal,2019/01/29,"I don't know what to do with my life anymore so i'm 17 and i have body dysmorphia and depression ,and living has become an actual hell as of lately. I can't stand my reflection and everything about myself is disgusting and annoying and just down right insufferable. what adds to everything is that i have an extremely important examination coming up and it is very difficult to focus on studying when i have no motivation, i'm always sad, and i'm constantly disgusted with my hideous appearance. it's one thing if you can't stand another person - you can always leave the area and get away from them - but since the person i abhor is myself it's making me consider death. i have a therapist and she's working with me to get through this, but honestly i feel worse after every session because it just makes me more aware of how much i hate myself. i feel like a failure. i just had yet another meltdown. i'm at lost at what to do anymore.",5.472540983606557,6.324666158469945,6.800122950819674,73.47100409836067,67.7431693989071,10.908743169398909,32.189890710382514,10.864195022040775,3.750100546448087,749,31,137,22,12,255,110,183,0.225,0.721,0.054000000000000006,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,2,1,3,8,11,5,0,6,0,16,2,1,4,0,31,31,17,1,1,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,10,15,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,9,0,1,2,2,24,2,21,29,2,17,1,3,0,0,6,8,1,2,6,101,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.1494392568373077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548438808479321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321154209361842,0.0,0.0,0.3037407680793091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387690115848045,0.0,0.0,0.09335066590003584,0.169127372179736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17010026940182574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191364373064934,0.0,0.16548629001726126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318963516556851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290242122070659,0.0,0.27525865044120545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548609587810289,0.1094008362749035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001513329890446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511907142875739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415988482881773,0.0,0.17274478438839355,0.16214957584317155,0.0,0.0,0.10816492779352116,0.07481482027648433,0.0,0.135222446428124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716671717399886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044397740773092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125730403001856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376934104378008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674259902887937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077784195423478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667619956963452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780342589176631,0.1017371698193994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635375428690124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148528763996006,0.0,0.156059304810923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jolti-chan,2019/01/29,"Too many mental problems. need help! I have a friend who I met online but has become my best friend in only a few months.  She has a number of mental, physical, and environmental problems.  she was born hermaphroditic and transgender with bipolar disorder, and was always bullied because of that.  she was then sexually assaulted in her early teenage years and suffers from PTSD because of it.  she has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and I personally would classify her as having borderline personality disorder.  her ""vise"" is recreational drug use, and some drug abuse.  she has horrible anxiety, depression, and suicidal tendencies, along with many attempts on her own life.  she lives with a verbally abusive adopted father who puts no trust in her, denies that she has some of these problems, and does not approve of her being transgender.  her adopted father recently just took $1700 from her savings that she was going to use to move out and get away from her adopted father for good.  I have tried to get her to a better state of mind, but I have run out of ideas short of putting her in a mental hospital.  I have tried so many things to help her but to no avail.  I need any and all help i can get in order to make sure she keeps living.  I am not sure if i can keep it up for my own mental health.  Thank you very much.

​

\-Jolti",6.0905289373814036,7.4212022701612925,6.229250474383303,76.38519924098672,66.62096774193549,9.544971537001896,31.926944971537004,9.773937934552695,3.1286690702087285,1065,43,188,23,17,339,136,248,0.222,0.639,0.14,-0.9846,0,0,2,0,1,0,36.0,0,1,0,4,3,16,1,0,6,0,21,6,0,3,3,43,35,17,1,7,7,3,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,2,9,17,0,2,1,0,0,6,4,6,0,0,7,0,34,10,36,26,8,26,0,2,0,0,35,12,0,3,6,136,43,0,0.0,0.22326901705082994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839803686837635,0.10208661322650807,0.1144868083423466,0.06407238067587978,0.0,0.07207753558708532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852216944742716,0.0,0.0,0.11487046771643727,0.10405785624894393,0.0,0.0,0.09887738223186757,0.08332934769990953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811509776534675,0.09563064464479966,0.0,0.0,0.21596704797787405,0.0,0.08245197751004714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185290385571395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558725344690887,0.0,0.1476771458446513,0.0,0.0535470210016231,0.07902671040595037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015075026956106,0.0,0.0,0.1894597083638781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063621640471629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674929532462784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654990474016359,0.0,0.0,0.16639480304932164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289213965878701,0.2865708608956935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37980372782544747,0.0,0.09513467234285147,0.0,0.07520497658939045,0.1001402452575504,0.0692620543563723,0.13972489037544578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165805214227203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453738325177472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704655452494839,0.11013736396707513,0.18943291624648276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303022944901766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030606632213069,0.0,0.17760122182011168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674450755089708,0.0,0.0,0.06259514149484248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468115116161536,0.12793749139893246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275051328623194,0.0,0.07774082119674823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669307143437422,0.0,0.1144868083423466,0.060674164491168074
mentalhealth,tehcarrots,2019/01/29,Is it possible to overcome this alone? anxiety and depression...,5.091000000000001,8.268980099999999,6.420000000000003,57.94000000000002,98.0,14.0,45.0,10.125756701596842,8.992,51,4,6,3,2,17,10,10,0.331,0.669,0.0,-0.4497,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5405826974683626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3992902544049429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4495546947954853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5884201019020363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,babyboomerbile,2019/01/29,"How do you repress emotions? Short story short, I want to repress all of my emotions. I know how to, just not very well. Anyone have advice on how to?",0.375,2.7936541666666663,1.888333333333336,94.8825,90.66666666666666,3.0,20.833333333333336,3.1291,-0.3986666666666667,115,4,23,0,4,37,22,30,0.221,0.7390000000000001,0.04,-0.7087,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,10,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,1,5,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33236471409459506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378222353771767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7651862387541432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869229616693203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806374796898227,0.20061363227663595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058118427157409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,becky-beck,2019/01/29,"For those who were diagnosed as an adult, what led to you accepting that you had an anxiety or stress disorder? (Long) Growing up I never had an issue with stress or anxiety.  From my personal experience, I know some of my friends and family were diagnosed while in school.  I never had any symptoms or incidents that would lead me to believe that I had a stress or anxiety issue. 

After I graduated college in 2011, I needed a job fast and applied for anything that peaked my interest.  I got hired on one of the largest police departments in the country (U.S.). I thoroughly enjoyed the first few years and got a lot out of helping people.  Although I had a very stressful job, I always handled it well. Fast-forward five years: I’m married and my wife is 8 months pregnant with our first child. 

I’m dispatched to a call involving an infant that’s not responding. I was very close to the call and arrived before EMS.  I was met by the parents running out of their house to me with their 3-day old baby.  I did everything I was trained to do until EMS arrived, then they took over.  The child didn’t make it. 

My supervisor could see I was affected and I met with  our departments Psych-services.  Three sessions over a course of about a week and I was told I was suffering from PTSD.  I was pretty straightforward with the Dr. that I didn’t agree. I felt like that was for soldiers who endured something horrendous while in a war zone. 

Three weeks later my daughter is born, I had banked a lot of time and took a 4 week FMLA.  One of the first nights we were back home from the hospital, my wife and I discussed me not going back to policing.  I could take a lump sum of my 5 years of paying into the pension and that would supplement about a years pay.   This would let me transition into a stay at home dad, take care of our daughter, and get my MBA online (something that was a goal of mine).

While at home, I was obsessive over my daughter’s well-being. Any indication that she was choking and it would create such an immense amount of stress that it would impact me for hours or days. 

Let February I went back to work after finishing my MBA.  I have a nice position, which when compared to my prior law enforcement, doesn’t have hardly any stress. However, I find myself struggling with anxiety and stress all the time. I constantly lose sleep at night because I can’t shut out the stress.  I began seeing a therapist before the holidays and she’s saying the same thing that I was told years ago: PTSD.  

Sorry for this being so long. I’ve been on reddit a while, but this is my first post. I’m having a hard time accepting what I’m being told, but if it’s the truth I don’t want to brush it off.   



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mentalhealth,Deviant_Pie,2019/01/29,"I'm scaring myself.... I've been looking into articals about mental illness and symptoms and the longer I scrolled I started reading about what I look at everyday in the mirror... I look around my world and everything seems unreal and it was just there, made up for this person that I have invaded on and tried to take over. I feel numb, I'm always tense and on the verge of some type of emotional episode. I always have the constant urge to want to leave, to want to go... I feel like I'm floating around this body telling the computer in its head to type this. I sit in my bed at night thinking to myself, ""I just want to leave, I want to *go* just go... home..."" I'm at home, what am I talking about... but today it finally happened, I left, I'm just floating around this person... I don't what this is but its scaring me, I try to pull myself back in but it's too hard... even if I manage to pull myself back in I know I won't be happy...",1.380074841681061,3.222628253886011,3.02068221070812,92.50323978123205,79.93264248704664,5.946919976971791,22.63932066781808,6.937597516519254,0.5884809441565917,715,23,158,8,18,236,99,193,0.076,0.8809999999999999,0.044,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,2,5,0,9,5,2,1,0,29,33,10,0,5,8,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,3,2,14,10,0,0,5,1,0,5,2,3,0,0,3,6,25,2,33,28,1,33,0,0,3,0,4,19,0,3,9,106,39,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20312549728178614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259747875418044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877114566944029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355798761777176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190226440293532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372997877308744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061872522210235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969863209183056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343325316373174,0.08719887327662851,0.0,0.13370951387299754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20810658729581652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793624593104637,0.12993392510834995,0.10934076288399916,0.0,0.1252676033422726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24486997534809365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708035680571127,0.0,0.0,0.2584854156010016,0.13261730747106054,0.0,0.0,0.05963179308894775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074961008177728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549504367006735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300662134809705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454397070195182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315417534352826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220918898866402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244404422450124,0.0,0.0,0.11111780104705066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639388865204388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686589003034107,0.09177307157505823,0.09810628737762722,0.10668482275063833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821038834309299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569752638879165,0.0,0.0,0.16573990624932974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879739099579061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,partybots,2019/01/29,"Trying therapy again soon...what can I do to be more successful this time? I've been struggling with depression since about 2011/2012. I've tried therapy a few times but could never bring myself to be open and vulnerable enough to make it past a few sessions. I am worried that I may have more serious issues than just depression. But I don't want to walk into my first therapy appointment like, ""here I am, here are my five self-diagnoses, give me pills."" But on the other hand, I made the appointment for ""depression"" and I don't want the therapist to jump right in with mindfulness techniques and other typical therapy exercises for depression and focus just on that when I also have other things that are more difficult to talk about that are causing me a lot of distress right now

Any tips for someone who hasn't been successful in therapy in the past (maybe more specific than just ""be honest"")?  Thanks in advance. ",8.378267973856211,8.054519323529412,8.088431372549021,70.71571895424837,61.647058823529406,12.73202614379085,37.12418300653594,12.06081838636515,4.6711045751634,735,31,129,22,9,235,99,170,0.174,0.722,0.104,-0.8784,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,4,11,13,0,2,7,0,19,3,1,3,1,24,26,9,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,8,0,2,3,1,13,5,23,18,8,23,0,4,0,0,3,10,0,2,10,100,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916284782439652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791738830946124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770380131015412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914817019533599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3947455780988627,0.11629488391833727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183903396716568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746051268900886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991424949348584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959030719954165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055977324447719794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741064240480816,0.0,0.10841705735696182,0.07648211625218011,0.0,0.11510962071848085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569174000462625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837009261658953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187565086396481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19569902494160826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953048570989072,0.0,0.0,0.0947806156174429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708208996530457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978244768330885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209395180700214,0.0,0.10548859597940068,0.6551531681449274,0.13303460493893485,0.07612094157717735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362342543245226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558271897366327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516287331949994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636014686593404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loganthequeer,2019/01/29,Mental Health Check-in List I want to make like a 'mental health check-in list' with signs of when I'm getting bad again. Does anyone have any ideas or have any suggestions or something like this?,4.239122807017544,6.001693789473688,3.3236842105263165,93.79412280701756,71.63157894736842,6.119298245614036,20.561403508771924,6.42735559955562,0.022340350877192883,156,3,32,1,3,45,28,38,0.09,0.747,0.162,0.2023,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,7,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33716660027198864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334032223401052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20698958221939004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21694256284463667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295196689459467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5270209663957238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27985357240560377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422268582899613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654779226938188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49965808329072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19084870029227974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462202708178926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amiafflicted,2019/01/29,"Am I mentally ill? I think im invincible to any type of emotional pain. As in i cant have my heart broken, i dont require constant companionship, i dont care if people lie to me, i dont care if they hate me or think im stupid or weird or whatever. i dont think im better or worse than anyone else and even if someone was better or worse i dont care. i dont hate anyone but sometimes ill distance myself from them if i dont prefer their company. i think im capable of being empathetic to others and i think im nice to other people. ill lie if it wont hurt them and i don’t think theyll find out. its more of a social lubrication to me, just makes convos flow more easily.  ive picked up this habit from upsetting people with the truth. 

ive fallen in love before and people have fallen in love with me. my longest relationship is 2 years ish. im in my early 20’s and im not particularly religious. in middle school/high school i was pretty shy and cared too much about what other people thought. then i kind of ‘bloomed’ and had a lot of friends and to be honest i didnt like having all those friends. it almost became a chore to maintain relationships with them and the drama was just obnoxious. i moved and while im still on good terms with a lot of my old buddies our relationship kind of died with the distance. i think im happier like this though. i used to hate being lonely but now i prefer my solitude. i dont want to get married or have kids but im the last of my bloodline and id hate to do that to my parents and stuff. my goal in life is to sort of be someones ‘rock.’ but for multiple people. i want to do it anonymously. Margaret Atwood summed it up pretty well - unnoticed and necessary. 

i think my mindset stems from my philosophy on love in that love is qualitative not quantitative as in you either love somethin or you dont - you cant love something/someone more than another. you either love it and maybe like the other thing a lot. i also think to truly love something you should love it unconditionally. even if it changes. and if something you love changes enough it becomes something else entirely. so following that logic in order to truly love something you have to love everything. i dont think you should be compelled to dote on every person you meet and i think its ok to love something from a distance. this way of thinking has led me to concern myself with why someones doing a certain thing, how they justify their actions because no one truly thinks they are an evil person so they rationalize it somehow. granted some delude themselves more than others but it is what it is. most people believe theyre a victim of something or someone and i cant help but sympathize for their situation, even if theyve only deluded themselves into believing that their ‘minor’ hardship is worse than what it actually is. while i do feel this way ive begun investing less in people themselves simply because theyre so unreliable. i dont fault them for it but i dont really trust anyone with anything i cant afford to lose or let anyone get too close to me. 

some people noticed how numb i am to peoples ‘abuse’ of me and my use of deception to make people feel better and they all think something is wrong with me. some call me a sociopath others say im ‘damaged goods’ and more say im just fucked up in the head. sometimes i think im fucked up in the head but even if i am, i’m pretty okay with it. it saves me a lot of pain and allows for less drama in my life leaving me to focus on things that matter more to me. getting upset over something that doesnt really effect me seems so childish and primitive. 

lately ive been catching myself referring to other people as humans and on the surface i feel like my whole mindset would make me seem arrogant but i dont think im arrogant in the slightest. at the same time im not sure if im the best judge for that either. the reason im posting this is i want someone to to tell me if this fits some type of mental disorder or if i should stop thinking this way. i dont really want to stop thinking this way but im starting to become alarmed at how ive alienated my self perceived identity from my idea of humanity along with other people telling me im fucked up in the head. 

its hard for me to explain everything that goes on in my head but this is the best i can do. sorry if it doesnt make sense. also if i come off as arrogant i dont mean to. like i said i dont think or care if humans are any better or worse than me. reading through it i think i sound like some teenager who thinks hes figured everything out which is humbling i suppose but not what i was going for:p 

p.s. im on mobile so please forgive my typos and stuff",2.5651325301204837,4.3765529500000016,4.285426706827312,84.93899096385542,76.27083333333334,6.876506024096386,25.10793172690763,7.736997071516111,1.3694211847389557,3712,130,744,54,83,1250,349,960,0.181,0.65,0.16899999999999998,0.8126,2,2,10,1,1,0,62.0,1,9,14,10,25,70,10,3,25,2,76,29,5,15,5,174,149,81,1,25,49,1,4,6,2,6,8,4,1,7,57,40,0,3,40,3,1,10,30,23,1,1,9,8,116,47,116,128,30,72,0,4,0,16,64,39,3,42,23,508,173,6,0.0,0.029539794575863,0.024329583748879405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024965333008189903,0.0,0.0,0.03987548235181028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03390860027338391,0.02614289042363406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973084158574576,0.02554530598627669,0.020516530692189058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03039606716595473,0.05506984781320887,0.021214901739905888,0.05617860936127391,0.052328219972652884,0.08819967394349539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025457886846792826,0.0,0.12709681814050292,0.0,0.05274852080212234,0.021476311584302802,0.0,0.02694213446637774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02587499928171909,0.0,0.02857370143287525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4675132119815874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04165420013010822,0.02804462349448505,0.0,0.02576094239845624,0.0,0.06586818036138292,0.0,0.021005895257780197,0.0,0.06722057373254682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03781840273265658,0.017811095054129162,0.0,0.0,0.022786973196008118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03852408736772198,0.06914641279960031,0.039077097301034085,0.0,0.014169167056235653,0.041822780827068834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02233376014893853,0.09845892500166953,0.10234779907093916,0.0,0.0,0.02954399145164272,0.016711083754171283,0.026341537735687388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02668972606441176,0.028144670658733963,0.538606765867301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051924718550390284,0.0,0.020322530268297185,0.028123859740115487,0.026398897912190585,0.0,0.025494185802740543,0.0352197638711354,0.07308173798892988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02789201272509961,0.0,0.08478360497812276,0.29252191260421884,0.0,0.06656797832487789,0.0,0.02504707999876483,0.02715775278416544,0.0,0.0,0.050250250784041765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02649827829009633,0.018327548395339604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02838472018299825,0.026161454203979657,0.0,0.01689425474217422,0.01896155738892592,0.053057826462593626,0.0,0.027683521451835055,0.0,0.0,0.2246970520747095,0.043538513005599314,0.0,0.02736734088706415,0.0,0.0,0.02387752078595116,0.07609300870494817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024938283883675645,0.0,0.04791534313906811,0.025633772434864442,0.0,0.08030142129154473,0.0,0.0,0.023715601004483236,0.039653117890590936,0.0,0.050464093063158036,0.0,0.04539346994487574,0.026009030515258925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02802409224103006,0.0,0.025414562325762627,0.12674646264825387,0.15354812216121866,0.04931585529162403,0.027908814558822968,0.017646670249922062,0.0,0.01991035769803946,0.04168776267774468,0.0,0.0,0.057081290221529385,0.0,0.0,0.02349767862234996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043582524577271915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049690216196466686,0.3354775673325528,0.024495108572870662,0.01979285554249066,0.014537779751272682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043065686346413584,0.0,0.0,0.05882106603714837,0.07915797458906,0.0,0.0,0.022416445970281633,0.0,0.022496834340222156,0.027835170766140803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162946488211816,0.017710648603606258,0.02725872195212248,0.0,0.016055092451302246
mentalhealth,throwaway19x2,2019/01/29,"Don’t really want to get “better” anymore In therapy for six years now.   Mid 40’s male.    Crazy chaotic childhood that I’m apparently going to spend my whole adulthood recovering from. 

I had developed some coping strategies that got me through life before therapy.   Granted I had dysfunctional relationships and kind of lived in a fantasy world but it kinda worked.

Six years later, three therapists later, a misdiagnosis later, group therapy later... and I just feel terrible.

I’m in the best physical shape ever.   Developed good habits. I journal, meditate, work out. I don’t drink or do drugs. 

Dropped the “toxic” people from my life which is what everyone told me to do.    But now I’m just alone.   Except for my therapist and therapy group and close family (who live far away.) 

I miss my friends. I miss my “craziness.”   I was my LIFE.

I don’t know.... maybe I just haven’t gotten to the good part.   But I’m kinda sick of the inherent superiority that therapeutic professionals bring to all of this.   I’m tired of the jargon: projection, codependency, narcissism,  abuse, paranoia... etc etc etc.   there’s just something about all the labeling that just sucks all the joy... all the spontaneity from living.

To be honest, I just feel dead inside.   (Everybody quick diagnose my depression..)

Just am tired I guess.",3.37926724137931,6.478575978448276,4.6705172413793115,75.82620689655174,82.31896551724137,8.717241379310343,26.53448275862069,9.130062681391069,3.1252724137931036,1025,43,171,32,29,337,138,232,0.171,0.713,0.115,-0.9373,2,3,3,0,1,0,52.0,0,0,0,4,13,14,1,0,10,0,12,9,0,0,5,31,31,8,1,1,12,0,2,0,1,0,8,0,0,1,9,6,1,0,3,2,1,2,4,5,0,3,6,2,21,9,23,24,11,24,0,3,0,0,7,10,1,5,11,109,30,4,0.0,0.12679216168863405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083254385304996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612751765827573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054164585721788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105964649505507,0.0,0.11230288197522403,0.09464374651293388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216959895054933,0.10861530469703536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483138424436833,0.12410037700882855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35804124571234863,0.0,0.09679881678926296,0.0,0.102254907087219,0.0,0.0,0.10088174019482063,0.0,0.108217341001257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267749293061168,0.0,0.055909547447831213,0.0,0.0608175969461701,0.17951380045232065,0.08558756942592735,0.0,0.11788619212449385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143691763275504,0.0588112008787485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267580086203451,0.0,0.0,0.28348165434313105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750831082713316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588397028682325,0.0,0.0741889044323412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855486552840634,0.0,0.0,0.11489123895876205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238335189693254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48951189310276394,0.2484992230756891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459899582589686,0.0,0.102254907087219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311866943189508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947549138662746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581256223805254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782491769085095
mentalhealth,SantaOMG,2019/01/29,"Feel like my mind is stuck in the internet Ok so I've been feeling like this for years. I feel like my mind is stuck in the internet.

​

I got my first smartphone in 2012 when I was 18 years old. Ever since then I have been in group chats with friends and we text back and forth every single day. I also use youtube a lot. I don't think a day goes by without me getting on youtube.

​

I feel like my MAIN life is in my phone. In those group texts, in youtube/facebook. And I feel my actual life in the real world is my SECONDARY life.

​

I don't even use IG, or SC. And I really don't use my phone that much anymore. I don't look at it during work hours and I only look at it maybe an hour or 2 a day at most. I don't even really compulsively think about things that are happening online, it's just like I'm relating everything that happens in my REAL life to my phone.

​

I feel like I'm never alone. I feel like no matter when or where I am, people are looking at me or judging me. And I feel like I'm always with people because of the connectivity of the internet and the group texts that I'm in.

​

I have taken breaks from my phone here and there. Some for a week, some for 2 weeks, etc. It has helped me stop being totally addicted to my phone, but it hasn't helped my little issue. I can go a week without phone or internet no problem. Maybe I should do it again?

​

Has anyone else experienced this? I also experience endless thoughts and ruminating thoughts.",2.267727272727271,4.227049409090913,3.564935064935068,89.09597402597406,77.63636363636364,6.607792207792207,23.98701298701299,7.5804360353943165,1.0517974025974035,1190,40,251,17,28,388,143,308,0.044,0.878,0.077,0.5043,0,1,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,0,0,2,15,11,0,0,12,1,24,5,0,3,3,51,54,21,0,2,9,0,8,8,1,1,5,0,0,0,14,12,0,1,12,1,0,1,11,1,0,1,9,12,39,10,29,43,9,40,0,0,3,0,14,18,0,9,28,161,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.05639901169403476,0.06300444267767473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05985758363041541,0.0,0.09243634493206686,0.048089582751817794,0.3757213443636054,0.4213592378350688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05731652944952066,0.04041119846748816,0.059217207574053715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044440337382397034,0.0,0.03523093870490708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118178485912485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04827981737155372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445604952994215,0.07634533152745639,0.05227835678815488,0.04869428694363837,0.0,0.05194189322695464,0.056534027346425784,0.0,0.0,0.2337807403512256,0.2890183893102421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915989952485456,0.0,0.0,0.044651821345982584,0.0,0.030195196246099162,0.0,0.032845897683562865,0.0,0.046223472966829784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221481990359743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774767556896579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138317131431886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603223533702893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632876168315702,0.2258834532751584,0.05792518655536723,0.0,0.0,0.14559825707772964,0.0,0.0,0.04913474453548563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612451510329075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167117667979274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04248554463326384,0.0,0.04457461544344573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606455160438642,0.0,0.0,0.04395525661076713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013474016071781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530144945520133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315653932190523,0.07404916379216611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047808136978770684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04831871845872742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038396040985462385,0.07406465446451319,0.0,0.09176461896933913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497474539391709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907757983311314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142350653001794,0.0,0.04207502214872642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4213592378350688,0.07443541626161282
mentalhealth,zack2738,2019/01/29,"Is this depression or not? Hey, so I feel like I might be depressed but I’m not sure. Lately I’ve just been feeling so different from everyone else and just that I’m missing out on life. I just see everyone else getting in relationships and making new friends and I feel like that won’t happen for me. I don’t see a point in life either and I wish I was never born. I also get headaches a lot, and I just want to lie in bed all day. I’m 15, and I always feel like I’m just here and that I’m existing not living, and I’ve been in this numb state for the past 3 years. What do you guys think?",0.16369230769230825,1.9556353692307693,2.379230769230769,95.81576923076923,83.76923076923076,5.8461538461538485,19.23076923076923,7.010146845296331,0.07007692307692226,458,12,112,6,13,155,76,130,0.103,0.7390000000000001,0.158,0.7973,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,9,9,0,0,3,0,9,3,0,1,3,33,28,13,0,2,11,0,4,3,1,2,3,0,1,1,6,9,0,0,5,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,6,12,5,10,22,3,15,0,3,2,0,5,7,0,3,10,66,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155213066044465,0.1264738723789026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802563953332456,0.0,0.2618299845543157,0.0,0.0,0.1588047553614057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253948365168371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904797357056305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074174678580324,0.3257605564427969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174326835718676,0.0,0.1588245594141991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050115559230864,0.13441064933373156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17145949702355598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147202785974528,0.22277450806860274,0.0,0.13421633963044652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922261026513254,0.0,0.0,0.10145933192429288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124504209457646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172296348260563,0.1467998727878692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450985557688255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368651307661592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631881426441835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242244227808379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325559133914045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739368820140444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965190491557166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747893142785822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788123329460427
mentalhealth,FoundNemo1,2019/01/29,"Need some insight Okay so, first of all, I’m 16. I think I’ve always had a bit of anxiety, but in the last few years it has intensified. It’s gotten to the point that I avoided doing anything, I have trouble sleeping sometimes, and, when I do do things, I end up getting overwhelmed and have these like fits. Panic attacks? Idk. Maybe I’m just being overdramatic. But when I have these things I just start breathing really fast and I can’t stop it. It can get to a point where my hands start going numb, and I start getting light headed.  Anyway, I’ve gotten a bit sad lately because I can’t really do anything. Not even a school function. So I decided to talk to my parents about getting some help, which I was very scared of doing. The talk when fairly well, although it was very awkward ( which I expected ). 
*sorry for all that rambling*
Anyway, my parents scheduled an appointment with a therapist next week, and I’m very nervous. So I need to know a few things. Do I need to make any preparations? What will she ask? Is there anything I need to know before I go? 
Also, if I tell the therapist something, can she tell my parents or will she keep it between us. The secret isn’t anything bad and it won’t hurt anyone, but due to my family’s religion they won’t be happy about it. And I’m sure it’ll come up because it does cause some of my anxiety. 
*if there’s any grammatical errors, I’m sorry.*",1.7983018168335183,4.116351272401435,3.4301693239401807,87.60548387096777,81.07885304659499,5.998813496477569,23.957607217896427,7.237678284180719,1.1135076257570145,1091,40,215,15,29,361,144,279,0.183,0.747,0.07,-0.9872,3,1,1,0,0,0,44.0,1,0,1,1,18,17,1,6,12,1,26,5,4,2,3,40,53,21,0,7,9,3,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,20,9,0,3,6,0,0,3,6,12,1,1,5,2,29,5,20,41,9,27,0,3,0,0,15,7,0,6,18,145,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446359913537441,0.07747868904272362,0.0,0.0,0.12664205015612948,0.0,0.1424646123752687,0.0,0.0,0.06510779467696573,0.0,0.3065010632113225,0.0,0.0870494495369216,0.1059311394304847,0.0,0.0,0.07774668378207708,0.11352341976797754,0.0,0.07923354631395407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20331374535539684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565419884124646,0.0,0.08020986141863289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148509046449658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247177274352252,0.0,0.0,0.061501221915424564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877800248696624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920311116681021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19459384645603733,0.0,0.10583818562483527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912207294788576,0.0,0.0,0.09556229834622014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062412659027397864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968095408396163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276440941501736,0.0,0.0,0.10234654290819424,0.07590071181904054,0.10503716541161197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045491021222109296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062154624356675216,0.0,0.09354598939190042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761727656804276,0.0,0.0,0.0990282833931698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924975487995137,0.3101777617420694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17604652181351935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193030133976382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932238173005452,0.0942368035433842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318170504157958,0.0,0.0,0.07168405961666953,0.09209258077568838,0.2084680266752784,0.19772067978578506,0.0,0.0,0.07784785702398596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775927554226012,0.0,0.0,0.14968374989029684,0.16277228251671527,0.0,0.0,0.21622612714204245,0.18558332697564497,0.0596639854615486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200522916730256,0.0,0.0,0.2304875409651407,0.0,0.0,0.07469080234635661,0.0,0.08372108114173325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996265864961362
mentalhealth,boop_doop_,2019/01/29,Why did I lie to the therapist in my inpatient program and tell her I wasn’t as depressed or possibly suicidal? I’m extremely depressed and I have panic disorder. I lied and said I was feeling fine. They believed me and I left in 72 hours. ,1.213750000000001,3.7751962083333375,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,86.91666666666666,8.200000000000001,30.91666666666667,8.841846274778883,3.401141666666668,190,11,36,6,6,66,36,48,0.358,0.5820000000000001,0.06,-0.9545,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,7,6,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,10,1,4,3,0,4,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,24,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849668681176972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4356985740494964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898810882089794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278896233099937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490863001416161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27481050790036216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967602866824796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851419441380854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405955085258897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766656995672074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107303250566107,0.0,0.0,0.2936726382106065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282310828760036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jacktrinity,2019/01/29,"Started this job after being jobless for 4 years (Im22btw) I came home yesterday from my first day and I felt so off I couldn’t explain the feeling. I started crying I felt so scared and I didn’t want to go back. I’ve never felt a feeling like this ever before legit had a mental breakdown. First time I’ve cried to my mother for comfort and she told me I was in some shock from leaving the house and facing reality. My life before this was waking up in the afternoon and playing video games etc. I accepted a while ago I was a failure in life and ran away from obligations. 

Today I didn’t go because I woke up with the same despair feeling I just gave up. I called those suicide hotlines and it didn’t give me much justice. I talked to my friend in person who gave me motivation to go and I felt ready. Unfortunately I came down with some diarrhea + nausea and now my mood is completely ruined. I already called them saying I would show up. Im poor and my family doesn’t have money to lend me to get professional help. I don’t know what to do ",2.4403335804299457,4.361630769953051,4.072246108228317,85.83378057820609,76.98122065727698,6.549938225846306,24.82554978996788,7.475848149327749,1.2161136150234744,826,29,166,11,19,276,124,213,0.152,0.726,0.123,-0.8806,2,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,1,3,6,10,0,1,8,0,15,4,2,1,2,34,39,13,1,3,1,1,7,1,1,1,2,1,1,1,7,14,0,0,11,4,2,6,7,4,0,2,18,8,31,5,26,18,5,34,0,2,0,0,17,11,0,2,18,112,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519885500948434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096159527209206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149973460234247,0.09125429434129537,0.0,0.07234361032936683,0.0,0.2019685739300611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423623340214639,0.271466789668386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244292223521052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26071938617945656,0.07653601411824543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323547853669601,0.0,0.10734897255562244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187689600704352,0.0,0.1800180119114061,0.0847819497897705,0.4557891635812243,0.0,0.0,0.2018909938702006,0.0,0.0,0.09168855791799682,0.0,0.06200315947705089,0.11384455334000933,0.2023384198906084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954582576046279,0.0,0.11904141174579125,0.0,0.0,0.13693583378198312,0.0,0.0,0.12819012992018655,0.0,0.1177673286196256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522106569587999,0.0,0.0,0.12566043977053207,0.0,0.0,0.16764832499380364,0.05797895658012137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195972012374481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724030067219488,0.0,0.09153002243942113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362305103487272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437568660969403,0.1188150872479108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799855444471196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298119631370049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538703905180072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920075992977205,0.0,0.11249069517190947,0.1133997251069826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999800759283123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430381827124721,0.0,0.0,0.07642326527031061
mentalhealth,mind444,2019/01/29,"How to Let Go of Fear in Your Life Do you have fears in your life? Do you fear you are going to loose your job? Do you fear something terrible is going to happen to you and your family? Do you fear death? Would you like to live your life without fear?  In this video Jason Michael Powers discuss's how you can let go of fear in your life: [https://youtu.be/m4P18KpQgc0](https://youtu.be/m4P18KpQgc0)

​

 This video has been gaining momentum lately. Must have been shared somewhere on a major platform.   


​",5.050000000000002,8.351025111111113,2.9977777777777765,89.60000000000002,75.66666666666667,5.377777777777778,22.333333333333336,6.742157984588678,0.6394666666666668,420,12,71,4,10,115,50,90,0.281,0.652,0.067,-0.9765,2,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,14,0,2,2,10,0,7,1,0,16,4,0,2,1,6,21,3,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,8,0,0,2,0,14,2,13,15,1,11,0,0,0,0,16,6,0,0,2,49,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21366624532051987,0.2396197278380013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295136038239978,0.7766673512415996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22414674292564307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719170648359234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784534425325984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112251611937602,0.0,0.0,0.20165048123667287,0.2785765503008529,0.04817100831377265,0.0,0.08706565847549386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590714253038812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950469382610147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700426528927804,0.0,0.2396197278380013,0.0
mentalhealth,eighttorches,2019/01/29,"What are your experiences with feeling emotionally numb? My grandmother died a few days ago. She was my childhood and i was her crutch. I was her favorite person in the world. But now she's gone and i just forgot how to feel. When i first heard the news i cried for about an hour but since then i haven't been able to fully feel any emotion and im scared itll never go away. I want to be sad and cry because shes gone, or just feel fucking anything. Any input is so appreaciated, thanks ",0.7759666666666689,3.1685517300000043,2.291999999999998,93.47266666666668,86.7,4.933333333333334,19.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,-0.02776666666666605,383,11,84,4,12,124,75,100,0.18600000000000005,0.742,0.07200000000000001,-0.8949,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,7,5,1,1,4,0,10,2,0,1,1,19,22,11,1,1,5,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,5,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,8,5,15,1,8,12,1,15,0,1,0,1,8,3,1,1,9,54,17,0,0.18175083289193314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111114714095787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24719359773628266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956544929546756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076089037353304,0.0,0.0,0.11079362078068183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39928951114032224,0.1172142513440414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886286697859489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088904480202192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778718981882194,0.0,0.0,0.3675947284466352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545971656104223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802571631468868,0.0,0.0,0.10329318678207323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789879594812666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963220881228004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017744690969555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158697816824805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196429041397924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034616712949095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733174793238598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720135024136702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,clinkclinkclink,2019/01/29,"This is important. Ever since I can remember I was sad. I had a rough childhood and awful teenage years. There was abuse and neglect and drugs and alcohol at a young age. 
I attempted suicide and nearly managed it three times, and minor attempts were made more times than I can count. For years I didn't look crossing the road because I was okay with a car hitting me.

I developed psychosis and needed 5 medications at once and a year of therapy.

Yesterday I went on a long walk through a beautiful place, with dogs and sunshine and a wooly hat.

Today I worked at a job I couldn't dream of as a teenager and I know I will go on to do better things in the very near future.

All my loved ones are safe, I never even thought that would be a possibility. 

I have a partner who is loving, who I respect and who respects me and makes me feel amazing every day. Our relationship is beyond functional and I didn't know people could love each other so well.

As a kid I slept in the living room with my whole family for a month because we couldn't afford to have a hole in our roof covered or go else where in the middle of winter. Two days ago I slept in a giant bed in a hotel in Paris, after visiting the Louvre and smiling almost all day.

Things get better. You get better. Just because you can't see how or the whole way, does not mean you will not and cannot get better. All you have to do is hold on. Hold on and wait out the parts that are unfair and don't make sense and aren't okay. Do it today and don't think about tomorrow if you can't bare to. Then do it all again. 

(This part works as a TLDR;)

Because things change and you change and the world will keep turning and turning you and things will change whether you like it or not.

And to you, and to little me, you are worthy and you are important and this is important. Bad things are not forever, they are beyond painful and nightmares might never stop and you will be working on yourself maybe forever but you are worth it and I love you. 
 
I can't believe my luck, because it is not luck. I held on and I got through because I am worth every drop of the pain and the waiting and I would do if again to know what I know now.

You are worthy and I know you're going to be alright so keep going, just a bit further. You're nearly at the good bit.
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mentalhealth,poolside123,2019/01/29,"I saw this on a bus and since I can’t post pictures, I’ll cite it instead. It’s a poem on mental health. I didn’t write it but I wish I did. Between these white walls 
And too many pillows
I wait for you.

Your departure and the crying of clocks 
The desk and chair exhibit a coldness.

I wish for it to end, for someone to say
“It’s over. You lost him long ago.”

Getting up and laying down to faint sounds
I imagine you wide to the world 
fingers brushing and brushing.


-Onjana Yawnghwe 
(Angoisse/Anxiety(",0.5480769230769234,2.9676969901960786,2.0464705882352945,94.36527149321267,88.90196078431373,4.314932126696832,24.512820512820515,5.873414542411696,0.5708965309200602,391,17,81,3,13,126,68,102,0.075,0.851,0.075,-0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,4,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,0,3,3,1,0,0,12,9,7,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,7,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,8,13,0,14,5,0,13,0,1,2,0,7,8,0,0,4,52,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148381842841135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854053126405064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662219067375456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21465969063604445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266234903481316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25761814709209196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144816397176108,0.0,0.0,0.2645653915629443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457157634726583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442426351218233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321146066315312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273499839865396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004833193318151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20535147948893706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5574058100621919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Protozoius,2019/01/29,"A little rant/vent/whatever about something i notice about my mental health Hello,  
I don't know if this is the right place, but i don't know where to write this, so...  
I'm writing this second post (the 1st one was ""[The pitch black prison of my apathy](https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/9kvvtt/the_pitch_black_prison_of_my_apathy/) "") because i feel i need to talk with someone about a thing i notice in the last month.  


I don't know if this is a real thing, if my mind is just great at trolling me or God knows what.  
I'm a 24M and i'm in a tight spot, with a huge amount of pressure on my shoulders (be happy, find a job, have good grades) and the floor where i stand and support all this pressure (my mental health) is becoming thinner and thinner for a lot of reasons (read the other post of mine for a 360° reference about my situation).  
Every time i read a news about politics, every interview, every article about my country political circus make my floor crumble a little bit more. Every time sameone of them do or say something incredibly stupid/fanatic/pseudoscientific (or all of them at once) i can almost see the ruins of my future.  Even the memes about every bullsh\*t they do make me laugh a bit more in a desperate, histerical way. Every time i speak with some of their electors i want to curl into my bed and cry because my lackluster future is at risk of being shattered in a billions of fragments.  


I feel this thing is killing me and I don't know what to do.  


  
NOTE: i know i touch politics in this post, so  i want to make clear that i'm not speaking about the various ideologies but about the fact that my country is ruled by a bunch of incompetent peoples (i.e. the only non political working experience of the Minister of economic development was selling drinks during soccer games).",5.914216498788727,7.085171228739008,6.248478898380724,76.67097921713632,66.91788856304984,8.980288155042713,30.955119214586247,9.20300075937882,2.6683792171363,1443,55,261,26,23,464,174,341,0.11,0.7879999999999999,0.101,-0.6336,1,0,3,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,4,1,15,10,1,3,27,0,20,4,1,4,4,50,40,16,1,6,10,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,15,10,1,1,11,5,1,0,5,5,0,3,2,9,37,5,43,36,11,31,0,1,2,0,13,19,0,9,7,174,52,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249924169523736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262069536368545,0.10201985211498844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016970192205124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146852787911112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049137641984498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101217169098357,0.0,0.4669745959735858,0.0,0.0,0.0903595207154852,0.0,0.0,0.0934141641864807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844281844936333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747894872503583,0.0,0.1018426876343066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833386629909943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963785359418156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916669653330942,0.0,0.10219817127130064,0.0,0.3045980870012893,0.07529715860506736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18516607926850487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853309192883781,0.0,0.0,0.18498113506686145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18618257929884424,0.0,0.09327143142566988,0.0,0.07373206470452008,0.0,0.0,0.06849416837294599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21033687728479472,0.0,0.09837532086112162,0.0625950293610999,0.07025460783002549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404051730837987,0.0,0.0965111943331404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654063415302572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847980435641549,0.1051418626269999,0.0,0.09497588160491977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888691182353111,0.0,0.07345953155378017,0.0,0.0,0.0736101374700328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383227336251794,0.0,0.0,0.07826821082038812,0.14222807341465324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482494782075824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742467414730063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18410759096775306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615921088435662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896918543719827,0.07332220064135447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724938968447128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pelapela,2019/01/29,"Dissociation? Hi, I think I've been dissociating for a long time. ",1.9800000000000004,4.747337000000002,6.416666666666668,59.74500000000001,95.66666666666666,9.066666666666668,22.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.789866666666668,52,2,10,2,2,20,11,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.714577805706027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5173885715006764,0.0,0.0,0.4708371540913579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,worrier_1,2019/01/29,What’s a good way to deal with a breakup? Especially if you’ll be seeing them around multiple times every day due to school,3.66,5.351617599999997,4.388999999999999,85.85950000000003,73.0,8.200000000000001,24.5,8.841846274778883,1.5726,100,3,21,2,2,32,23,25,0.0,0.873,0.127,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,3,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.354276510922496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25665688377670764,0.4102882476088235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353057879972801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337972580879132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4027655637253331,0.31712952304206604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320587451956339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31588902448733674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ohsouniquename,2019/01/29,"My friend has been hospitalised for overdosing right now, my friend is in intensive care (?) and being treated. she will most likely survive. her mother (who told me) asked a doctor what will happen to V, but all she said that she will be bought to another ward in a different hospital. i presume she was talking about a psychiatric ward. 

my friend, V, has been diagnosed with suicidal OCD. i personally disagree with that, as i thought that means that you are afraid to commit suicide, but have intrusive thoughts about doing it. she self harmed regularly. 

what should i be expecting? is there anything i can do? should that doctor tell her mam what is going on?

( i am a F17, in high school. she is one of my best friends. she is 17 also)",3.641858506457048,6.112769255474454,4.195912408759123,83.75014037057835,75.42335766423358,8.01100505334082,27.32678270634475,8.841846274778883,2.3466658057271204,576,23,107,13,13,182,91,137,0.124,0.725,0.151,0.3094,1,0,0,0,0,2,26.0,0,1,0,2,5,10,0,1,4,0,24,3,0,0,2,15,34,5,2,3,2,1,0,1,4,5,3,1,0,3,10,3,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,8,1,21,8,14,18,3,8,0,0,0,0,24,6,0,1,2,83,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717909422516518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676057208143508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087108349208218,0.0,0.14867492672195626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16689592767358874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214533098206782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141573322188155,0.0,0.16615623959675185,0.0,0.3255552101764025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4914757889623956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903824468498394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063286709661166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802770585523175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769577272094527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17323418785550154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776526772829753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886198539517644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581380597937065,0.15127735023466962,0.0,0.0,0.16095047051827116,0.0,0.0,0.1659067049482421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479138425133537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782516526407495,0.13900235615662238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525097921389006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196339824353816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imhidinglalala,2019/01/29,"Am I a fraud or mentally ill? Am I a psychopath without knowing I am? Because for a while now I'm thinking I'm might be because I'm actually maniputing everyone into thinking I'm have this mental illness while I don't cuz I'm a fraud. Am I really mentally ill or am I just pretending to be mentally ill or I'm actually fine?
How do I know if my feelings are fake? Am I being tricked? ",1.0990243902439012,3.0393985975609747,4.812378048780489,78.81661585365855,81.3170731707317,8.490243902439023,32.201219512195124,9.188382445141503,3.37709268292683,303,18,61,9,8,114,43,82,0.302,0.6579999999999999,0.04,-0.9689,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,4,0,14,4,0,2,0,15,25,8,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,9,1,4,21,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.3686467984651948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302836941708538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18048662139408486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550535426582846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20761125796496646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7614020143054591,0.2003759249746039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100383650824738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420582996728429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207729941658435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xky2047,2019/01/29,"Adults of reddit; does it get better? Obligatory mobile formatting, throwaway for obvious, etc.  I'm not even sure if this is the right sub, so if it isn't I apologise.

I'm not sure if this will get any attention but I just had to ask. Does it get any better?

I'm 20 years old (I know, a baby) and I'm borderline and depressed.  I 'go dark' for long periods and it makes life hard to get through.  I regularly get the thought that ""I can't carry on like this"" And I guess my question is... Does it carry on like this?  Some grown ass adult positivity would be so good right now, and I'm sure other people would love it too.",1.3818489583333324,3.245148070312503,3.4121875000000017,89.59739583333338,80.015625,7.0791666666666675,21.604166666666664,8.07648339933343,0.9540916666666668,475,14,107,9,12,161,76,128,0.162,0.693,0.145,0.5536,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,0,0,3,0,9,3,1,1,4,25,26,11,0,5,7,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,2,12,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,1,8,9,8,20,2,11,0,1,0,2,5,4,1,6,7,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013112562991864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837452903538733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618153952624325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748554906963766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38858813271351744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650764291007538,0.09776285390567753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866599961255033,0.0,0.08412063009993385,0.1241483942472176,0.0,0.0,0.16305578088479158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259283123510768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134545794752343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454773795284418,0.14462581143096775,0.0,0.0,0.13098907596717765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358978422678167,0.0,0.09880150786109723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531738762306616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026153235353263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581125549998993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528088878637196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185086230727868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750778807979012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210291954932978,0.0,0.0,0.09531714094103164
mentalhealth,tomdwilliams,2019/01/29,"Angry outbursts after realising I have / being diagnosed with two mental health disorders. I’ve recentlycome to terms with the fact that I have two disorders, bulimia nervosa and mild depersonalisation disorder. I’ve struggled with bulimia for 15 years, and to be honest I haven’t a clue how long I’ve had depersonalisation disorder, I’ve never really felt life was actually real.

Anyway, since I was officially diagnosed two weeks ago I have noticed that I have started to have uncharacteristic angry outbursts. I don’t feel in control of them and I instantly feel overcome with a massive sense of guilt. Is this a normal reaction? It’s totally out of character and it’s actually causing me distress.",6.700000000000002,9.233030747967485,8.58586178861789,55.413914634146394,66.72357723577235,11.749268292682927,37.503252032520315,11.407655852321104,5.600665691056911,574,31,81,21,10,202,76,123,0.16699999999999998,0.805,0.028,-0.9393,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,3,4,0,13,4,0,3,3,20,17,5,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,4,3,10,1,14,11,2,10,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,8,57,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.26584376134052057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074246360307693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992578996248864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277175137161653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27650174964171603,0.0,0.0,0.6244365166902166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377443271548383,0.0,0.1307835206224946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478548053461265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620956319750903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054207990737928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372682308770428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505399894308974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345745137106454,0.0,0.15507665186409114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503746406648833,0.08725998752169548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267480205210308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641055191894148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239687613454793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3991738430836575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925991381299892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771514979413846
mentalhealth,omgitsmint,2019/01/29,"What's wrong with me? Every day I'm visited by unhealthy thoughts of suicide. Like, I could be chilling and then I'm suddenly hit with the urge of wanting to kill myself and feeling incredibly worthless and very sorry for myself. Loneliness isn't helping either. I am diagnosed as depressed. But I'm starting to think that there's more that's gone unseen. I easily get very angry at people, even close family members and friends and I fall into episodes of not caring about anything or anyone. I randomly snap in and out of these episodes.

What's wrong with me?",3.99858490566038,6.535985650943399,4.685509433962263,80.34958490566041,74.56603773584905,7.258867924528303,30.411320754716982,8.238735603445708,2.5826973584905657,453,21,76,8,10,145,76,106,0.315,0.609,0.076,-0.983,0,0,0,0,0,2,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,22,16,10,2,2,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,12,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,2,1,9,3,17,11,2,12,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,2,5,50,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764541086029784,0.0,0.17376366236746424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21528794440624754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859114218566806,0.0,0.0,0.13617835998315905,0.0,0.18186863182311191,0.2143192233146037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394667600579279,0.0,0.17790830945355038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19905938914858773,0.0,0.10676698158355426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313885156343882,0.0,0.11032046375336667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153363250443435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336131862875463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316031363244868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638920749567916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363722162793232,0.14945753242700222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23097074560063174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530044583355744,0.0,0.16763453428716016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484521615557801,0.12454547033705647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4617325832442498,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pheasantlyhappy,2019/01/29,"I get hallucinations should I be worried? Sorry for the kind of clickbaity title but I've suffered from hallucinations ever since I can remember it tends to mainly come in auditory hallucinations rather than vision affected ones. I usually hear voices they're never angry or at least when they are I never feel like they're directed at me it just tends to be conversations some of the voices I recognise some I don't. I also suffer from tinnitus and visual snow and I get migraines that cause physical numbness that doesn't help with the depersonalisation I sometimes feel but its getting better. Even though all of these things suck I don't know where they come from, have I experienced something I don't remember I'm bringing this up now because I recently was listening to them while lying in bed and one of them screamed at me. Scared me enough to jolt up and that was pretty scary for me. I also see small I guess insect looking things? Or shadows in the dark (that sounds a lot scarier when I say it like that but I don't know if that's linked to my visual snow or not and I can also tell they're not real I can just see them). I don't feel like I'm losing any grip on reality or anything like that. What could it be? Should I be worried?",4.222633727175079,5.880064689795918,5.380988184747583,79.45051557465094,71.48979591836735,7.9334049409237375,26.772287862513426,8.532816995589336,1.8876530612244904,999,34,190,17,19,331,132,245,0.202,0.728,0.07,-0.9847,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,5,2,13,13,1,1,5,0,20,2,0,2,4,43,42,20,0,5,13,0,4,4,0,2,2,7,1,0,17,8,0,0,8,0,0,3,10,7,0,2,2,15,32,6,25,33,7,23,0,3,3,0,11,11,1,9,13,139,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302917772057279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586326770730575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390380924283336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696884068577219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116694902539494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297070297315663,0.0,0.2175290370066908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081084640496736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046358007808098,0.0,0.0833956158343972,0.11421224250209948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152731825652206,0.18040483068755614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979018443540302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909308821288432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423077398794359,0.0,0.08463152394939147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148363464056773,0.13878184381585051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467431775564095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602924082350187,0.1412561613397324,0.0,0.10734440986555836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476384114728534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711183482594355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845500992690176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437151004583901,0.0,0.0,0.12466962225831794,0.0,0.2860630573781288,0.0,0.0,0.10040951998663517,0.1264114339858743,0.0,0.20123075694010129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444617753230767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720353695513284,0.12487747801383635,0.14134125245734455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035955318025527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776724493933573,0.0,0.1240528979642262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390610148575252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564527035000204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lvxlk,2019/01/29,"I went back to work today and didn’t cry or want to run away. I love my job but have trouble leaving the house, usually when I have a bad episode I last 2-3 hours there. 
I took some time off on doctors orders and went back today.

One day at a time.",0.34090909090908994,1.8216558181818208,2.2163636363636385,98.76454545454548,81.72727272727272,5.127272727272729,20.090909090909093,5.6839178017228535,-0.3587090909090911,190,5,48,1,5,63,43,55,0.188,0.7440000000000001,0.068,-0.8225,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,6,8,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,0,1,4,0,6,1,6,4,1,20,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,2,11,28,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18913187958911631,0.30958093794395564,0.16808056044631547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221123161096768,0.12982452611271764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20604333201880484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19824404245294025,0.23227796656787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997633115043395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408975354598446,0.0,0.21315203348740866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168485878758628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640890481590245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23476414255497305,0.0,0.3816256009940781,0.0,0.22365632248209832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22170808603813166,0.0,0.11873440587765555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732219358231102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655182192625435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LUCYWOOTXNG,2019/01/29,"I have nobody to talk to about my consistent sadness I have no one to vent to.

I have no one to just cry to, no one to give me a big hug (something I really need right now). Nobody to give me reassurance.
Youre maybe thinking, what about her friends? Family?

My mother will claim I am attention seeking, whether I have a stomach bug or Im drop dead exhausted (as I usually am after work) my mother doesn’t think my well being is as serious as my siblings, she will ask me to run errands such as cleaning or go to the shops for her and take it personal if I say I am not feeling very well, it puts me off wanting to talk to her about my suspected depression.

My siblings and I don’t talk about that kind of stuff. Period.  We just weren’t raised in that kind of household.

I could potentially talk to the guy I’m seeing but I don’t want to scare him off, I’ve tried talking to him about being stressed about school but he has told me to just , to put it bluntly,“suck it up”. I know he means well and is trying to toughen me up, I’m quite a sensitive person and his tough childhood has made him seemingly cold.

I actually have spoken to my friends in the past about feelings of depression, in the beginning the listened and tried to offer their advice but I just didn’t think anyone understood how deep my feelings of emptiness went; it was difficult to describe as I couldn’t put a finger on what was wrong specifically when they asked. Nowadays, when I say I’m sad they make a joke of it and ask when am I ever NOT sad.

I’ve tried to convince myself I only need myself and have tried to write in a diary but I feel as though I really need someone to just be neutral. This probably sounds like a therapist (something I should probably look into) but I’m under 18, and my parents (being African) don’t really take mental disorders seriously and wouldn’t allow it. Plus, how could I fit it into my busy life? Working two jobs and at full time education?

I know there is something seriously wrong with me and there’s no one to help me, i feel very alone and while depression is something that can be treated, i can’t help to feel like i am going to feel this way forever.



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mentalhealth,katinsipid,2019/01/29,"Help Please. I am diagnosed bipolar, and am not taking my meds because Im scared of the side effects ( weight gain, ticks in mouth, acne etc, because they have happened to me before ). I am so depressed. All I do is lay in bed all day. I have no friends. I goto school once a week, and have online classes for the rest of the time. I have never told any one this but I have hallucinations as well, like the ambulances or helicopters or some signs on cars would mean a particular thing, or symbol. I know its crazy, but I think it. Im so scared of taking medication, and I just want to talk about it. But I have no one to talk to without prescribing me meds and sending me away. Is there another alternative? I am scared I will hurt my self later because its getting isolating and I cannot bear myself any longer. I am a 30 y female.",0.8799101796407207,3.2949959580838346,2.7874580838323366,89.95016916167671,86.42514970059881,5.7352095808383226,21.523652694610767,7.1686216300943375,0.7450122155688623,643,22,135,10,20,214,103,167,0.14300000000000002,0.768,0.08900000000000001,-0.9056,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,2,6,8,0,3,7,0,17,5,1,1,3,25,26,14,0,2,9,0,1,1,1,2,3,0,1,1,6,5,1,0,4,0,0,2,6,5,1,2,1,1,22,3,15,23,5,12,0,2,0,0,8,5,0,4,6,94,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842391538460166,0.1420449081326471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727207436001636,0.0,0.0,0.2477312090333295,0.0,0.11526915042124755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736251538908997,0.0,0.1166741995453922,0.13749223039046274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107720341402367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465848194993636,0.0,0.07077389692148546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978960276901598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079808384585904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450160875661081,0.0,0.2926468624451664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744469962434436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618044517772638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755906622431084,0.3009380096687179,0.13646485691113125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447752062935613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426381757081386,0.1835866519680797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486978432432066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068666891425114,0.13709592449412886,0.0,0.0,0.1413175930546402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370283761567406,0.21776027307113452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999568755077407,0.0867993070466312,0.0,0.0,0.07898964329343396,0.0,0.0,0.12944083048891927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989966666001949,0.0,0.10866035576183213,0.16495760425945688,0.12179762669358585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058162797674658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962291243662392,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grrrnpesto,2019/01/29,"Increasing fees to pay and contemplating ways to end them I recently escaped domestic abuse in a U.K. student house. I paused student loan payments and took time off from university.

My mental health is extremely poor as a result of this domestic abuse by my ex partner.

I have a lot to pay in rent payments after ending tenancy early to escape him, but struggling to find a replacement tenant the landlord agrees with. I am liable for all the weeks it takes to find a tenant.

My anti depressants have been stopped as my doctor says I should find another doctor closer to my house at home, and when I went to sign with the new GP, they stated it will take four weeks to sign me up and to find me my first appointment. They have no online services. There are no other GPs near me.

My best friend died two days ago, to suicide.

I am contemplating suicide as a means of getting out of rent payments and of escaping my ex.

The payments are far too much for me to pay off with my wages. I can’t take money out. 

This is really difficult and I was wondering who I could turn to for these kinds of issues without simply sounding like I’m incompetent to keep up payments? I don’t know what to do anymore",5.0146834763948505,6.090622042918457,5.788945815450642,79.49612258583693,68.91416309012875,8.915128755364806,30.013143776824034,9.188382445141503,2.5605366952789703,948,36,178,18,16,310,137,233,0.218,0.7240000000000001,0.057,-0.9914,3,0,0,0,2,2,19.0,0,0,3,2,3,7,0,1,10,0,17,3,0,1,1,29,29,11,3,2,2,2,0,1,2,2,3,2,6,1,8,11,0,2,7,0,10,3,5,3,0,3,4,2,28,4,43,22,5,31,0,1,0,0,10,12,0,2,15,125,36,9,0.0,0.2760789064319566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032747122851314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122165720898831,0.0,0.0,0.1155417205102412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222648799103812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301981580866313,0.0,0.0,0.07513612992080508,0.0,0.10034564339642743,0.0,0.12091386565466615,0.0,0.0,0.23849574541006455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20637781745851516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.425934081883468,0.0990991503806026,0.0,0.0,0.09001152567645368,0.0,0.06086908888109329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383943808229178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686408133390876,0.0,0.0,0.2688624098443637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160102086725805,0.0,0.10355505653693987,0.0,0.12132209888396013,0.06402813789241713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691849078456535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904844160986898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690817247470276,0.0,0.0,0.11740970514166585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564462940948357,0.0,0.0,0.1125213195920775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463612913292922,0.0,0.11503469827858648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926495053624791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740345267220303,0.0,0.12179639187618972,0.0,0.2548752672818274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26279193320204003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793504141290645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944141609293516,0.0,0.12672405750495833,0.11380852150390272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247629923336154,0.18690667436486144,0.0,0.0,0.10800136422201248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123067269896436,0.12634477526956134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KV2306,2019/01/29,"I fullfill the ADHD symptoms ,expect standing still.Anyone care to explain it to me like I am a kindergarden kid? I fullfill every 9 main sypmtoms of ADHD expect sitting still ( i do that without problem ) , anyway I dont like taking light of mental disorders , but i feel like if i focus and stop being lazy I think I be ""normal"" person. Dont want to be like a teenager who reads wikia and comes up that he imentally disorder magnet, i just feel like i am lazy and unmotivated rathe than ADHD.",3.6945526315789463,5.66029175789474,5.437039473684212,77.2324013157895,73.52631578947368,6.855263157894738,27.66447368421053,7.6454224807358475,1.9394473684210527,387,15,65,5,8,132,62,95,0.174,0.655,0.171,-0.3191,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,3,0,8,1,0,0,0,18,16,5,0,6,4,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,4,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,3,12,6,8,13,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,7,44,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5259248311036621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199620989229488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487249365692614,0.0,0.0,0.1256547223151628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343610009540534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419188311248097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290238597241195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751325354049696,0.20842016510799516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563253656344959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470033921735225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292234945427934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736869970103126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957859355541774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591021014569114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329851155234048,0.12195446649789485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161554704275865,0.1096766392236636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346807727615923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603833915063394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061418356738972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,w1tchdagga,2019/01/29,"What’s wrong with me I don’t even know anymore, I’ve felt like this for so so long and I’m so tired of it. I can’t go longer than a week or two without feeling so horribly depressed and when I am feeling okay sometimes I go crazy and do fucked up things and hurt myself and see things and I can’t sleep and it’s fucking me up so bad. Sometimes I’ll go from being crazy happy and thinking life is beautiful and everything’s beautiful and I feel like doing so much to getting depressed and lying in bed and just doing nothing. I get mad and angry really easily and I’m ruining relationships with everyone and my grades are dropping and I feel hopeless at this point. I think about killing myself often and I’ve tried at one point but it didn’t work but I’m just so so tired of the cycle and it feels like the only way I can end it is by taking my life. I just wanna know what’s wrong with me, I want help so badly but I don’t know how and I feel like even if I do get help what if they say nothings wrong with me?? Then I’ll probably feel worse because I won’t know how to fix it. 
I just feel like I’m getting closer and closer to either ruining my life somehow or killing myself and I have no clue what to do
Also maybe it’s just teenage hormones or something because I’m only 15 but I really just want it to stop.
So end of that rant I guess, feel free to delete my post or however it works if I’m violating something ",0.8159777895293487,2.8221046622950823,2.832670544685353,92.27756213643576,82.70491803278689,5.771549444738232,21.64198836594395,6.968188349444268,0.5195076679005819,1122,36,249,14,31,377,138,305,0.236,0.6459999999999999,0.118,-0.9907,1,0,2,0,0,5,12.0,0,0,1,2,25,25,6,0,3,1,18,8,1,2,0,69,54,47,2,6,19,0,10,5,0,1,5,1,1,0,18,25,0,1,16,0,1,3,8,17,0,2,2,12,32,9,25,50,2,22,0,6,1,2,5,9,2,10,12,158,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068546981769628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500714956139904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313840796683575,0.10450324555376808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765397431101682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183770777669964,0.0,0.0,0.11322909949013588,0.0,0.0,0.08190522469525001,0.07703593236458386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3900648533553108,0.2449418511757917,0.08230071506249521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848595404369475,0.17913209944705838,0.0,0.14614297988806735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442573788843564,0.0,0.0,0.09124617942484976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149071344984898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091760653818927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189663907739546,0.0,0.1884288885407812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816310451649536,0.2093823182468446,0.0,0.0,0.075855882486401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611315198196229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301105599944097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449345365813098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05808331854677585,0.13038162319342605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205848040489093,0.0,0.08209214712830692,0.0,0.09241624782761243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098236128710658,0.0,0.0,0.09202680839958696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816473153037231,0.0,0.0,0.06830448210638475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577781239308467,0.0,0.0,0.1319765894953223,0.16955045227058413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166233835308612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644476963835614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138916829041925,0.10984658735876876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19703565704471027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05819547593468435,0.0,0.08373198846373799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111492835986842,0.06803729912536892,0.06875613220745312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826270778710937,0.0,0.12480440581267176,0.0,0.08735183458182467,0.0,0.28115067302211644,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OkHorror,2019/01/29,"I feel like I intentionally don't do things that are good for me because they're more valuable to me as potential options. For so long I couldn't keep a job. I get bored extremely easily and need constant praise. Once I'm at a job too long and the new is worn off, I feel like a switch flips in my head and I just have to go. Never fails. So one day I got tired of it and said ""Fine, I'll join the military. That will change me for good."" I always believed it was a last resort, but now that I've done it for a few years I realize that it can't fulfill me. It can take me so high and then that just becomes the new standard and I feel unfulfilled again. As if I'm a failure if I'm not moving extremely rapidly upward.

Same thing with exercise, or reading the Bible. It feels better knowing that I know the solution, rather than feeling like I've done everything I can and I've exhausted all my options.

I'm a religious man. I know I can only truly be fulfilled in God's plan for me and I feel like I can always rely on it, but I can't stop doing this to myself no matter where I go. I always want something new. I just want to feel like I'm normal and that this is something I'll grow out of.",1.7573865327380958,3.1095424804687544,3.7299107142857153,90.03354166666668,77.3203125,6.9074404761904775,23.518601190476193,7.62386473244151,0.9199273065476188,929,29,211,13,21,316,136,256,0.08800000000000001,0.726,0.18600000000000005,0.9577,2,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,4,11,14,0,0,12,0,19,4,1,1,2,47,45,20,0,8,10,0,7,5,0,1,3,1,0,1,18,11,0,2,11,2,0,4,7,3,0,1,6,8,29,11,21,36,4,26,1,1,0,0,3,8,0,5,19,133,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609696680842029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372971618104377,0.11546183761562427,0.0,0.11778651529135285,0.0,0.0924616358588542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059484246219756,0.0,0.0,0.1129761013804392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742293390082775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21397184759024412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939583852983979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700279692083509,0.3734351639887853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054620494302264816,0.0,0.1188307671628124,0.17537492185807765,0.08361425841508759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729342304275327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045762693588802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074897394298773,0.09292447906680483,0.0,0.0,0.17236574122717085,0.08521820135533119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553772496632139,0.0,0.0,0.1850382286561103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111488506023706,0.0,0.07751885914694864,0.08063161799019282,0.302910896580123,0.0,0.0,0.10243199064440987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133710828995598,0.07084245826479428,0.0795112515148218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457338084376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944632065897202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096783495114605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740437600595521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786048964753584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891022404909245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120159201127817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233268048641698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732360996543232
mentalhealth,justathrowaway1450,2019/01/29,"My mother uses my depression (among other things) to control me and manipulate my family into believing I’m crazy. And now she’s has caused my life to fall apart since I have called her out on her actions. I want to try to keep this short because I’m all over the place right now.

I dropped out of college two years ago and moved back to my hometown. I have worked for my mom for the past year. Between her small business and her new real estate ventures, she is very successful. I was told back when I was 16, I would one day inherit ownership of the store despite having an older brother that is just as capable as I am. So I admittedly got lazy in school because I knew that I would be alright in life despite my fuckups. Obviously, that was the wrong way to think and I should not have been that way and I take 100% ownership for the part of my life.

But since returning home, I’ve done everything I could to change that about myself. And I really did do so. I am without a doubt the best employee she has and do everything and anything that she has ever asked of me when it comes to work. I work my ass for her business and all of the properties she has purchased over the past year and ones that have become vacant that need renovations. So one day, after having a falling out with a roommate, my mother offered me her nicest house for face value and offered to do very nice renovations such as new hardwood floor, appliances etc. And it would be all completely paid for because I had a stock account worth a substantial amount and my grandma also pitched in a little because she has given every grandkid a bit of money in the early part of their adulthood to give them a little kickstart in life.

But this is where is starts to get shitty. My mom has by no means hid that fact that she is a complete control freak. And she has very obviously thought very little of me since I have dropped out of school despite going above and beyond her expectations. So I have lived in that house for about 3-4 months now and it is supposed to be 100% mine and completely paid for. Come to find out later, which I should have caught on to early but I’m young and dumb and thought I could trust my own mom, but she has never signed the house over to me. She still owns the house completely despite paying 5 figures for the house plus renovations. It has been a week long fight to where she finally caved and is getting her lawyer to sign the house over to me which is supposed to be done by Thursday, and I have verified that with the lawyer myself. 

But I broke the camels back when I told her that she has attempted to steal from me and that is something that will leave a permanent mark on our relationship. She flipped out and said that if I really think that then I could go find somewhere else to work and then called the police saying I wanted to kill myself which I would get taken away for since I have had to be committed a couple months ago (because of another fight over her control issues). She has slowly been convincing my family that I’m crazy since I was originally diagnosed with depression, and only depression, and constantly accuses me of not taking my medications whenever I become vocal about her control issues.

Since she called the police, I had to go hide at a friends house until tomorrow at the earliest and I am utterly lost. I’m mostly waiting for my friends mom to get off work so I could talk to her because she has always been helpful for me before. I have no job, she has taken every dime I had saved, and she is probably going to keep the house since the transfer was never finalized. I have completely nothing right now and I have no family to rely on. I don’t want to harm myself but fuck I don’t want to be alive anymore. It has been constant battles since moving back and literally the only things I hated about my life was her. Everything else was completely perfect outside of her choking grasp. I just don’t know what to do anymore and just went to wither away.",6.762778191346811,6.428382656850193,6.889391060953461,78.0189735878272,64.94110115236876,10.082017687520473,32.75946163237352,9.589985622208136,2.8636495905666552,3169,114,610,55,43,1019,308,781,0.12,0.812,0.068,-0.9929,2,0,1,0,2,3,55.0,1,0,2,14,30,27,7,1,35,1,84,10,2,8,11,114,135,55,1,17,13,8,0,0,2,7,7,2,1,0,32,45,0,7,12,0,10,13,11,17,0,4,34,2,109,10,103,84,12,106,0,5,0,2,62,41,3,3,48,450,141,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966195141055213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03593342919348822,0.03738840210583387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047116857103454125,0.0,0.0,0.08912422723353916,0.0,0.0,0.036976571037783804,0.0,0.042006903609110254,0.0,0.08443329957707686,0.13820483428579336,0.0,0.16434684114391826,0.0992513875886583,0.038235232506628726,0.05062484420530968,0.04715510073631083,0.0,0.049055915626031024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764686275453195,0.0,0.0,0.0461592431877083,0.04753385101605558,0.07741273345292096,0.2826725062028252,0.09711464028222064,0.20158766802502995,0.14350347501737998,0.049718236714458484,0.0,0.057956982871109335,0.0,0.11610387855310918,0.0456067159133436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919654632941978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507260916775746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05011290512575567,0.0,0.04064506517170603,0.07571708783174204,0.0,0.12115042046404073,0.0,0.1270783582132095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844524960102036,0.08213709674014752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943126372533757,0.041540441758114485,0.0939039246599449,0.0431044581032284,0.10214733086439223,0.0,0.03593755019524778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04436268355075888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03011808306312332,0.0,0.04507212154296638,0.0,0.0,0.4147792572883158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379812735818867,0.04458972110200882,0.07987819766940528,0.04971243389113735,0.0,0.024694362718782448,0.0,0.0,0.04757825475536897,0.0,0.0,0.15868985359337778,0.0,0.13510598614451366,0.039677242270581316,0.03976487238191416,0.0,0.0,0.04905039445811273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048945925123323984,0.0,0.045265932072135175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21050302359241785,0.07173123250024017,0.09551473241484644,0.0,0.03331773724335424,0.0693112125556741,0.08679441167792823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043115055668547085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913446264346608,0.06834814172998216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731754335217097,0.08578851973169385,0.0,0.0,0.046946107825202116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844608197049422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511443387882185,0.05757130241180161,0.0,0.0,0.04824193156516877,0.0,0.07674619496845254,0.04274219742131489,0.03573304747642516,0.0,0.09095051936425123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973566825926344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034592124345943775,0.0,0.0,0.03180427363019082,0.0,0.03588407644814578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756903586113062,0.036115971364212636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970385008517385,0.05758334600738844,0.0,0.07134460889005305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587206952611771,0.0,0.03050700351633698,0.0,0.043893653681260116,0.0,0.0,0.03880825258349686,0.0,0.14829989112210548,0.1060121401358,0.07133249072451146,0.036043069213433,0.0,0.0,0.04165395012272512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04331444179590894,0.0,0.16356118692348035,0.0,0.0,0.1276783226251396,0.04912790002286247,0.0,0.0868074055185821
mentalhealth,livingroomconvos,2019/01/29,"Virtual Conversation about Mental Health on Jan 31! [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/online-living-room-conversation-mental-health-tickets-53449329383](https://www.eventbrite.com/e/online-living-room-conversation-mental-health-tickets-53449329383)

Living Room Conversations is hosting a virtual meeting about Mental Health on January 31 at 1:30pm Pacific Time. Living Room Conversations are a conversational bridge across issues that divide and separate us. They provide an easy structure for engaging in friendly yet meaningful conversation with those with whom we may not agree. These conversations increase understanding, reveal common ground, and sometimes even allow us to discuss possible solutions.

This conversation will allow you to explore the questions below with a group of other people joining from all over the U.S. (or even other parts of the world!)

\- What experiences in your life, your work or your family inform your thinking about mental health? 

\-Is mental health an important issue in your community, and if so, why? 

\- In your experience, how are mental health issues affecting young people? (If you are a young person, how do mental health issues affect you and your peers?) 

\-Do you think your religion or culture, or some other aspect of your identity or background, influences how you think about mental health? If so, how?",12.679946808510644,16.928959813829795,9.140372340425532,50.45875000000001,54.585106382978715,10.444680851063833,33.026595744680854,10.550175099000144,4.5757170212765965,1127,40,118,27,16,321,113,188,0.011,0.88,0.11,0.9504,0,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,3,14,1,1,13,2,0,0,9,0,9,8,0,9,1,38,13,18,0,3,9,0,0,0,1,2,8,0,2,1,9,8,0,0,9,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,18,2,24,11,4,21,0,0,0,0,34,14,0,11,5,94,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875830802591536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145177348152556,0.06334188365085121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191175457165388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6427899339485416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805206245970773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745913175562649,0.0,0.0,0.1186621214891594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.609416336036499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276152204285148,0.0,0.09316383606512653,0.05866876429771425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574798252146339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526952161212005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645381503664075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916022400983485,0.0,0.0,0.03917972915289092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994840899556863,0.1616454815258129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060629607225284675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04891599396265394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thoughtbubbles,2019/01/29,"Needing Advice- Feeling manic on Prozac Hi All- I wasn't sure who else to ask, so posting this question here hoping someone has insight. I've been on prozac 30 mg for close to 4 years. My prozac is prescribed by a general doctor, not a psychiatrist. (Background: I went to a psychiatrist for years as a teen/young adult, and through much trial and error we found that 30mg of prozac was the best fit for me. It's been easiest in the past few  years to just get maintenance meds from my general practitioner)

Anyway, in the past 3 days I have been feeling extremely manic in a BAD way. Heart racing, hands shaking, short, uneven breaths, mind racing, unable to sleep. I've never experienced this before, and am not sure what is causing it. I've had panic attacks and this is not one. Could the Prozac be causing this? I've taken it for years, so not sure something like this could randomly happen. Any insight or advice? Maybe I should consider weening off the Prozac? Other factors to consider? There have been no other lifestyle changes; no changes in caffeine consumption, and I do not drink or do drugs. Thanks in advance for any ideas!",3.5870623742454697,6.181790938967136,4.099047619047621,83.74000000000005,76.23004694835682,6.498457411133468,27.9832327297116,7.62386473244151,1.8747824279007381,902,38,159,13,21,284,129,213,0.13,0.7879999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.8606,0,0,3,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,0,2,6,11,1,2,10,0,20,13,4,2,5,38,31,10,0,5,8,0,3,1,0,1,8,0,0,1,13,7,1,0,7,1,0,3,9,4,0,1,10,4,9,7,24,17,4,24,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,5,9,102,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24215654404137216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851893595449102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583420035684085,0.14095952236452405,0.0,0.0,0.10345527736477332,0.0,0.0,0.10543380259769246,0.0,0.1300303739919605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545685858438541,0.26214955872786017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19785569571784697,0.0,0.0,0.07990830303086302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682174551634665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137946827043515,0.14369015426123558,0.0,0.10350650612775564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252999128367284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585514542420438,0.0,0.0,0.06473510952253769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956854705225938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682770633818784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306535825399205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398733629215097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060533594350233186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447895920587455,0.0,0.13763022712322104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510846004534185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108423613290152,0.09187379025114052,0.09556296932593157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396105442105282,0.0,0.0,0.14537550855313036,0.0,0.0,0.2365621773836879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866648471591937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388016589822925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399421649186085,0.0,0.1049840790107998,0.09538791765141658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3503362362569003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140748319179945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834981053856548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486092974306213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191623452140133
mentalhealth,DanceOrDie157,2019/01/29,"How do I become a better me? Hi,

So a bunch of stuff has been going on and I have become an asshole dick cheating son of a bitch. I don't want to be this person anymore. I started off as a loving caring put other people first and selfless but has changed into something I hate. I have been thinking over the last 12 hours of what I can do other than the obvious.

Today on my way to work I was so sad and hateful towards myself that I wish a transport would hit my car and off me. Last night after the fight I went to leave the house. I said I was going to my parents but what I had in mind was something different. It was a huge winter storm so it would have been easy to say the weather was what would have got me.

My mind is a mess right now. Idk what to do or where to go. Where to start fixing this. But I need change or self harm or death may ensue.",2.0668618266978918,3.1095779071038265,3.5646877439500377,92.78717213114756,75.93989071038251,5.665729898516783,21.81459797033568,5.288315135182226,-0.02432053083528496,659,16,150,2,14,218,108,183,0.212,0.7040000000000001,0.084,-0.9798,2,0,2,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,7,11,5,0,13,0,26,2,1,1,1,23,43,15,1,6,6,2,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,2,12,5,0,0,1,0,0,7,1,8,0,1,12,2,22,3,22,25,1,31,0,1,0,2,9,12,2,4,11,114,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265430081816107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954555418765216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830013833839535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363775669104974,0.0,0.283001377625705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397510711283367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377646487657615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280572271457197,0.0,0.10698035185822397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641212586751564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172697704282793,0.15434145708012306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21806503671802632,0.0,0.14163287165864355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072391647392405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701195967468125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991815867817618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552500468144873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852501244138885,0.0,0.0,0.0927325679813464,0.11679435719706024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344660723764966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423058746211652,0.12723670073455914,0.10637157989973636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395411919537869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059504676276938,0.0,0.0,0.18935249426116807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312357127458578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085708215829621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678914876606107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889530582465068,0.10617272066643046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399716219396904,0.0,0.0,0.15381777350828518,0.0,0.0,0.09737911033087893,0.0,0.0,0.2850584932381844,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nose_Grindstoned,2019/01/29,"Having a panic attack? Play the Candy Crush music Totally weird, but this works for me.  If I feel a panic attack coming on.. or if I'm suddenly in one, I pop the candy crush music on.

And what's weird is that two different things can happen.  Either turning on the app and hearing the music soothes me... or hearing the music annoys the hell out of me.....

But either way, the panic attack subsides faster it seems.  It's that stupid goofy music!",2.7302325581395337,4.897924523255817,4.38156976744186,82.79584302325583,77.02325581395348,5.695348837209302,20.05232558139535,6.6274283507984215,0.5225162790697677,343,8,60,3,8,115,53,86,0.395,0.589,0.015,-0.9917,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,0,12,6,3,9,0,3,0,0,0,1,15,11,8,0,2,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,11,0,2,0,3,5,1,7,11,3,9,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,5,2,44,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5609567670091551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158337446241134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172338625171055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310640391933981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534484058333866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37049600920413894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137599610786572,0.0,0.0,0.5785304455656961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962906056110373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919485963633653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17877874042620998,0.16055786505605585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304629651364405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965754853385704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Typhon741,2019/01/29,People keep telling me im skinny but i still see myself as 50 pounds heavier So about a year ago  I lost about 50 pounds and I. Still see myself as really fat. I can not make my stomach roll over on itself and if I suck in my gut I can see my ribs. No madder what people say I still see myself as the 210 pond person I was. I actually dont see a difference on my body but all of my close no longer fit. ,0.4183333333333329,1.8220356666666684,2.9575,93.89625000000002,81.22222222222223,5.833333333333334,16.805555555555557,6.6274283507984215,-0.3897777777777782,310,5,76,3,8,108,58,90,0.168,0.7959999999999999,0.036000000000000004,-0.899,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,2,0,3,0,4,6,6,1,1,10,13,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,6,18,0,10,11,1,11,0,1,5,0,3,6,1,1,5,50,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.16366330448599115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866710044586665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862908901813412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17522397089226505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19655791780472415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811583873160492,0.0,0.0,0.14907066455290538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18307811422374204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119494626177395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325415993099132,0.14644017309237534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744098590234813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337179078219122,0.0,0.0,0.6682261407366915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.401806496320676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658820438074238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800141554124383
mentalhealth,saladballod,2019/01/29,"How to get over past mistakes? I was very insecure as a kid and lied a lot to make myself seem better. Now, I worry about my mistakes all the time and I also worry about whether people know that I lied. I have changed a lot and stopped doing it, but I now have social anxiety when I go to school. Sometimes I feel like anyone who is looking at me knows that I used to be a crappy person and that's all they see.

Do you have any techniques or methods on how to get over this? Sadly I'm stuck at this school for another 2 years so I can't really move and get a ""fresh start"".",1.8113114754098376,3.1728111147541043,3.482754098360658,91.8224918032787,77.19672131147541,6.191475409836067,22.036065573770493,6.742157984588678,0.3946760655737704,444,12,100,4,10,148,82,122,0.23,0.705,0.065,-0.948,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,1,9,6,0,1,6,0,9,0,0,4,2,23,24,14,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,2,3,15,2,14,21,4,15,0,1,2,0,6,5,0,4,9,70,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922996874758753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183958933633652,0.1825619955912048,0.13318818697297513,0.0,0.0,0.12173674551532546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397980315770124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841777069419588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803162110317665,0.12437909519778555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728846255936219,0.0,0.09894664942301198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913647223071453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505784754689956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620252670478992,0.0,0.0,0.296031996986638,0.0,0.0,0.11621498970208782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850437532338715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620084958813308,0.1207009794293834,0.15201987405704265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153472985269143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524027139318038,0.13873741284413246,0.1584966758773936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747590798429078,0.0,0.0,0.17219214881049952,0.0,0.12323087784712855,0.0,0.0,0.14555776011862429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152075917582552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150368943783632,0.0,0.1436530667238901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536197462206725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211651312516142
mentalhealth,ktbear22,2019/01/29,"How to talk someone into getting help. I know most people will respond, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Or, they have to want to help themselves to get any better. What about someone who you know is struggling with mental illness, who you have helped seek doctors advice and go to counselling, only to have them shun it all in the end. This loved one just sees this all as an attempt to dull reality which is eternally messed up. Not just with immediate things like, job, city, family, but that the whole world is essentially fucked and no pill is going to make it all better. Its just a way to make everything bearable and it's all bullshit. What would you say to this someone so that they don't give up on trying to get better? ",5.843713850837138,6.297456095890412,5.688721461187214,83.17081430745817,66.8082191780822,8.132724505327245,29.235920852359207,7.793537801064563,1.7223555555555556,594,19,116,6,9,185,94,146,0.142,0.741,0.117,-0.6395,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,4,3,4,6,9,1,1,4,0,13,5,0,3,4,25,28,8,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,16,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,4,0,1,0,2,8,5,21,25,6,11,0,1,1,2,20,6,1,2,3,81,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120316742493596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130547454679414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562420603927673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742692584232635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891981119666399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066961055060282,0.0,0.1265740220814958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241267403741164,0.21044530792872512,0.12880016806516656,0.15261290782537998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44997830050905896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332382733629006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757814891555926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559557864362224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118029431302528,0.0,0.17924717627889053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530853402798024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098210683496943,0.10211533248696833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308312891596264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677370098058207,0.0,0.0,0.1069926072372343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550525363643562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036396066900814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791791351157083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920035494579101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911577909333359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583871143181865,0.10657408999112188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990317827353405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537870406010776,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ineedsomebodyhalp,2019/01/29,"I think depression has reared its ugly head again Throwaway here. I just kind of need to vent, but self care/symptom mitigating advice is more than welcome.

Everything that invokes an emotional response from me right now makes me cry. I haven’t had much happy in the past few days, but I’m convinced that would make me cry too.

I haven’t been like this in close to 3 years and I tried to start antidepressants at that time. They either made me feel totally numb or gave me hives followed by withdrawal symptoms so trying that again isn’t high on my todo list.

I’m irritable, I’m unreasonable, and I feel guilty for just about everything. Going to see my therapist likely won’t help much and I don’t really have the money to go anyway. The longer I feel like this, the more my panic level rises. I had to get accommodations so I wouldn’t fail my classes last time this happened, now I’m working a job that wouldn’t be all that understanding if I took a mental health day.

I’m not okay and I don’t know how to be okay and my passive suicidal thoughts are back. I just want to be okay again.",4.547033639143732,5.520947220183487,5.288091743119266,83.03504281345569,69.91743119266056,8.565626911314983,26.918654434250765,8.841846274778883,1.8377714984709488,866,27,177,15,15,281,133,218,0.193,0.684,0.123,-0.9623,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,16,14,0,1,7,3,19,4,1,4,2,33,45,12,1,6,9,0,3,3,0,4,3,0,0,1,10,6,0,0,7,0,1,5,9,4,0,0,7,4,24,10,18,31,8,27,0,2,1,0,5,8,0,2,17,111,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296365130156305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200947312515324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352585246249055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914476234752306,0.17111300967604806,0.0,0.11426224020015492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922774830332985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384574678455698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20123483152956706,0.09477430175758804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931081628545997,0.0,0.15079060665953087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731323993141553,0.14122197413836504,0.0,0.0,0.13615026425797205,0.14101430955511535,0.0,0.0,0.08892105115384168,0.14016548890081648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164731841456326,0.0,0.0,0.13814784912485342,0.07290798308531725,0.10813785509941427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944369694306387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552871050945752,0.1771068439638682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336928587694323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19504478492960806,0.0983677550638684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556511642607682,0.0,0.0,0.1266416148645023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498716063741102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132932715928431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571504326388588,0.0,0.13839619063197375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389938385035114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511152664686436,0.0,0.0,0.2757748051706341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403168853897375,0.0,0.08500493947773442,0.0,0.10531941231729476,0.15471344359739989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473932068881999,0.1801386107171001,0.0,0.0,0.13810661104410998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782479326139933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658006878275477,0.0,0.0,0.09423981793256744,0.0,0.0,0.08543046747554897
mentalhealth,yellednanlaugh,2019/01/29,"SSRI withdrawal tips Hello! I just got off venlafaxine (Effexor) and have what my doctor referred to as “brain zaps”. 

I did follow my doctors weaning suggestions to the letter, and switched over to mood stabilizers. 

Anyone have any advice on how to get through these? A cup of coffee has helped make them a little milder, but they’re still happening. 

Anyone else been on the med change adventure and able to provide advice? ",5.1535428571428605,7.936245040000002,5.108571428571427,77.52000000000002,71.93333333333334,8.019047619047619,28.04761904761905,8.841846274778883,2.6597619047619045,338,13,53,7,7,105,61,75,0.0,0.936,0.064,0.565,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,5,3,1,2,0,8,10,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,1,12,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,35,7,2,0.21818269708670196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4264112128829658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483717158224401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30511682960682024,0.2235539568035894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24356404729896874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308083635245121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4466384713214357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226364682374133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399145406907048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450063422892964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192938238474348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14624326276334726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21867638113203205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456386445217822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423517906951303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424098373151956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dwigtsnoote,2019/01/29,"Relationships are tough with anxiety Looking for some help and possibly someone with experience. I just started going out with someone and I know it will probably end up turning into something serious and can already feel my anxiety getting in the way. 

I have a hard time with relationships as I have very little self worth due to my anxiety. I typically think everyone around me hates me, that I can’t do anything right and I’m just a waste of space most of the time (might have some depression sprinkled in there). 

I do best with people I don’t care about as when I care less about a situation these feelings are not as strong. 

I just started seeing someone who I care a lot about already and I can feel myself starting to act abnormal. I’m doing only things I believe they will like, walking on eggshells, afraid they will leave me, thinking everything I’m doing is wrong. I am able to see now that in my past relationships I end up becoming someone completely different and typically not the person my partner wants me to be but what my anxiety tells me they want me to be. 

I have told this individual about my struggles and although they listen, they don’t have any of the same feelings and therefore they seem to glance over the subject, they listen but don’t really ask questions or seem to want to hear about it. 

I’m afraid to talk to them too much as honestly I’m just afraid as coming off as a crazy person with all these issues. 

I’m not sure if I should be more open about it and hope they understand, if I should not talk about it and work on these issues alone, or just leave them now as my mental health is not yet ready for a relationship. 

Help?

",6.405789473684213,6.59710344891641,6.675913312693499,77.47845201238394,65.59442724458204,10.019814241486067,33.09907120743034,9.811843763644266,3.041579566563467,1326,52,254,26,19,428,159,323,0.112,0.8,0.08800000000000001,-0.2302,1,1,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,10,3,19,18,1,4,11,0,29,1,0,1,2,63,68,25,0,8,16,0,5,1,1,6,1,3,0,4,13,21,0,0,11,0,1,4,9,9,0,0,1,12,42,9,47,58,10,34,0,1,4,0,30,16,0,13,14,185,55,1,0.0848494239204966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787841393426038,0.18726689842170685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05770051787666245,0.0,0.25963830822437506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698238462471108,0.0755339764117558,0.07932275753537565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370952243951278,0.0,0.0955962448346952,0.08904423561110518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595289278138458,0.0,0.0,0.07309026562606451,0.08896300665279544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308068449164493,0.0,0.0,0.08864958871761472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030280990053427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107726069821397,0.07625719109730453,0.08299901792219277,0.0,0.0,0.17160967269654107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04433032196763456,0.0,0.048221882969759794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600841770743584,0.08377123969099846,0.0,0.09019096988954856,0.0956314674266952,0.0,0.11374556060962845,0.0,0.0,0.08427462307084545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771215080011816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0466310243825679,0.0,0.0,0.1796865772843096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041453142617604806,0.08504141351180848,0.0,0.0,0.07125214621973754,0.0,0.0,0.07213594597309304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550826251437067,0.09001183013637021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237408948140901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453181035301378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099837604455222,0.0588239070076632,0.14817448834505836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565497661014777,0.0,0.0,0.0914820299406934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505077349385832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05435671365714181,0.0,0.0,0.36438610912061176,0.0,0.07246094441872826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352280107453759,0.15448745763144744,0.0885164541208348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537430753814027,0.0,0.0,0.2875705661641954,0.06532123190179077,0.0,0.0,0.18017057690554714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887030406667507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799695778933825,0.0,0.0,0.1363975058164821,0.07416213639626004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05637018700906544,0.1087361695573558,0.0,0.0,0.09895276285806756,0.0,0.0,0.08107726069821397,0.0,0.0,0.09229180810006793,0.0,0.08833124267688952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000966088494415,0.15013916580323575,0.06734952329249654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177139116588312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276952517134687,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,carola_finch,2019/01/29,"People with mental illness don’t need more talk This post talks about an anti-stigma in Canada but can apply anywhere

[https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-people-with-mental-illness-dont-need-more-talk/](https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-people-with-mental-illness-dont-need-more-talk/)",43.50217391304347,55.50799508695653,21.216739130434785,-36.56793478260863,-10.565217391304357,6.339130434782609,24.54347826086957,7.1686216300943375,1.5904086956521732,289,3,14,1,2,63,23,23,0.085,0.915,0.0,-0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4188546488224253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5402427295565085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974966575267886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388349831361747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711388739780663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5745079183399533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Evening_Throwaway,2019/01/29,"Is this anxiety, or something else? Disclaimer: This is long.

I had a really strange experience from 2016 to about mid 2017.

I was told it was ""anxiety"", but it was just so weird and intense, and anxiety is such a widely used term these days, I'm curious if anyone has more insight.

\~

For 23 years I had lived a pretty happy, care-free, and normal life.

Then one day in winter 2016 I noticed a patch of my skin near my left wrist had gone numb. I thought this was strange and probably should've gone to the doctor, but decided to wait out the symptom, and eventually the feeling in the area came back.

I felt better, however the thought of it still sat in the back of my mind.

Weeks went by, and a sensation started to manifest in my hands. It's very hard to explain the sensation itself, but almost like an intensity. It started very quietly at first, and as time went on the sensation became stronger.

Strange thoughts accompanied these feelings, thoughts about something being wrong with my hands, or wrong with the connection between my hands and brain.

I'd sit there clenching my hands, afraid that they we're going to stop working properly.

I've always been a bit of a worrier, so I chalked it up to worrying and imagining things.

\~

The sensations became more prominent, I began to feel and think about them more and more.

I'd have strange irrational thoughts. Like that I'd close my hand and my fingers would collapse into an impossibly mangled fist. Or that my hand might become stuck closed.

The thoughts slowly became more invasive in my everyday life, and I started developing paranoia.

This all started very subtly, and I must of never acted different because no one ever said anything.

\~

This went on for about half a year, slowly building until one weekend I was visiting New York City with my uncle.

We were browsing a clothing store and I felt pretty good in the moment. Then after a few minutes of browsing, I felt a light-headedness and sort of aura come over me. This was different than anything I had felt previously.

This is hard to describe but the aura grew stronger, and I started to feel less stable. It started to totally encapsulate me, and I'll never forget this feeling, I felt like every muscle was just waiting to burst out of my skin. I was afraid I was having a seizure. (Doctors later refuted this.)

I told my uncle we needed to go to the hotel because I felt really weird.

When I lied down, and WAVES and WAVES of sensation swam over me. I just felt really unstable, and really scared but it eventually faded away.

Later that day, I was in a pizza shop. And the aura came back. I felt like the room was going to break apart or collapse inward. It's almost indescribable. It was just fear...that came out of nowhere, with this accompanying aura. I went to the hotel room and cried because I felt so fucked up.

\~

The next day (back home) I scheduled a doctors appointment and went to immediate care. Immediate care told me it was an anxiety attack and to take it easy. Fuck...I thought I was already doing that!

I talked to like 5 doctors and that had no conclusion for me other than ""generalized anxiety"" and suggesting I find ways to relax, unless I wanted to take medication...which I didn't

\~

After this, my life imploded.

Everyday became scary.

I'd be somewhere, having a fine time, and the blanket of sensation and fear would come over me.

(Strangely, I'd always get a burning sensation in the back of my neck when this would happen.)

And the invasive thoughts of before (""what if my hand stops working..."") became relentless.

Endless thoughts that I'd die.

Of a heart attack or stroke or brain tumor.

Or die in my sleep. Afraid to close my eyes, imagining my parents finding my body in the morning.

Thoughts that life wasn't real life.

I'd be sitting somewhere, and think.

""What if I'm not really here right now? What if I'm dreaming right now? What if any moment I open my eyes? What if I wake up?""

Or completely irrational psycho thoughts.

I'd see a knife and think ""What if I take that knife and cut myself? What if I just pick it up and cut into my arm? Or cut though my hand? Or stab myself in the stomach? What if one day I lose control and stab someone else?

The thoughts were always about the IDEA of something happening. And we all think weird things.

But these thoughts always had an impending feeling attached to them. Like the ""what if I wake up?"" idea, felt like the moment was coming, the moment where I'd blink and be somewhere else. The moment where what I was experiencing would be proven false and reality would be broken.

\~

I started to isolate myself.

I felt alienated as fuck.

I felt disconnected from everyone and myself.

And I just sat in this weirdness and dwelled in it.

\~

This sent me on this exiled internal journey.

Consumed by these thoughts and just confused, I started to lose my grip on any life meaning. I saw no future anymore.

I realized I had no idea who I was and I got rid of everything I owned in hopes for an answer.

(Literally everything, this freaked the fuck out of my parents...understandably.)

I deleted my phone contacts.

Deleted all my social media.

And when I'd get home, I'd sit in my empty room hoping ""the real me"" would show up.

(Luckily I didn't turn to drugs or alcohol. But I was afraid that they were going to kill me.)

\~

So to make this all the more confusing to me.

I was neck deep in this turmoil and I shit you not.

One day I was there sitting in my empty room and I just snapped out of it.

Nothing provoked this.

I just realized how to feel better.

I decided from that moment to stop pushing everyone away.

To embrace reality.

To embrace life.

And to focus externally, less internally.

That's the only way the thoughts would die.

\~

After that I haven't had another episode and all that scary shit feels like a memory now.

I don't feel quite the same, remnants remain. And I'm much more fearful and worried and nihilistic than I was once was.

But I definitely feel free of the consumption I was involved in before.

(Like a clothing stain that is barely barely visible, you can get away with wearing the shirt, but you know it's there and in the right lighting you can find it.)

\~

I feel like a completely different person now.

And legitimately healthy. Socializing regularly, goals, techniques to control negative/intrusive thoughts.

But this all lingers in the back of my mind, especially from the abruptness in which it ended.

Things like that don't just end, it's completely nonsensical.

It gives me the idea it may happen again later in life.

\~

So curious on anyone's thoughts on this?

Just anxiety? I somehow learned to manage.

Or something else?

Thanks for reading.",3.0321816188562027,5.627565205859066,4.119190023752972,82.83421715695232,78.25574030087094,7.179898897618612,27.609288019976848,8.238735603445708,2.183268206346306,5257,226,958,104,130,1704,444,1263,0.16899999999999998,0.7240000000000001,0.107,-0.9982,6,0,6,0,0,2,223.0,3,4,4,12,48,55,11,11,67,0,69,50,29,7,11,238,182,101,4,23,46,1,38,11,0,10,17,2,6,1,79,78,2,7,64,8,3,24,14,32,0,7,88,46,123,24,138,78,22,171,0,2,4,3,29,69,5,32,82,640,202,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03479024829382284,0.06519611211824303,0.0,0.035924068581338064,0.0,0.10834990232553048,0.0,0.0,0.04427557414257199,0.03413563148937475,0.14942199293530692,0.0,0.032284748650991395,0.0455249261509184,0.0,0.05357821723613828,0.0,0.0,0.07406958450339887,0.09175645969339656,0.150191765217,0.0,0.059533716281346925,0.035953255372026593,0.055401989308881884,0.0,0.0,0.057582606942657426,0.03554045751623985,0.036160074775803255,0.0,0.0726818988031101,0.0,0.1116990620342684,0.09957269629820524,0.0,0.0,0.08412697824682729,0.10239652108725072,0.0,0.07302399577921304,0.0,0.0,0.03575896082410917,0.1259675409915546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135751165488223,0.1020357766900418,0.0,0.13328129719536744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03775222079653415,0.0,0.10877851703349534,0.0,0.057666234623862764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029446891237176007,0.027428088019515705,0.06221334572756612,0.05851474202623366,0.031843987775203565,0.0,0.10989665715019023,0.18106268308608384,0.046513064725263266,0.3750825072901019,0.0,0.08926110011240293,0.02769035416329092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038232589642545,0.05102425062902111,0.031228693673906568,0.07400458898084075,0.02730468993748044,0.02603634973789356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636199192504301,0.034654261239130235,0.05832384972451509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03857656091488617,0.0,0.0,0.06530848728117808,0.06466679086115604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699768700829233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036016097593728605,0.0,0.017890787235286858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035369937559416136,0.0,0.1839504142297898,0.17494625114671394,0.0,0.028745714462434187,0.028809201489619875,0.0,0.07283903596369054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021729999440272724,0.0,0.0,0.03546077063773065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03453457270028558,0.06574037353400365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023930882468964118,0.02413832480595528,0.05021519166032757,0.03144078610622822,0.034621471289990075,0.0,0.03189593716811896,0.031236371490438543,0.03706286230767735,0.0,0.034668870419832035,0.11029691912817877,0.024758728855316492,0.0,0.0,0.03614728407206783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028424833893097363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662380953796316,0.03509863991177793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03462510911588442,0.03256273712798702,0.07410699307931448,0.10427439797064376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340262882674576,0.030966239896190944,0.0,0.03259216057901208,0.0,0.025941265504356218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683227768205728,0.0,0.0,0.0325774376300244,0.06636925909552008,0.02758283719099418,0.10024641554635436,0.0,0.0,0.1843346999217133,0.0,0.025997608611306487,0.08164962335787826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03383599542444422,0.07342950644554386,0.026165613862202928,0.0,0.029971282750981564,0.0,0.0,0.0648821488834501,0.08343696927481478,0.03198406855501424,0.4393510971254914,0.03796491391896787,0.0,0.0,0.0933200185913492,0.0,0.0,0.035409325103642766,0.0,0.03388978667926264,0.0,0.028116141236417654,0.0,0.08058119871211879,0.019201149925651192,0.05167958489346392,0.026112797076305417,0.0,0.0,0.1508890850194147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04739929397689268,0.06612018731097086,0.0,0.16187763290962515,0.07118521879950848,0.0,0.04192732406895905
mentalhealth,polarpug,2019/01/29,How to not ruminate I’m never really present. Just overthinking. And obsessively ruminating. But i dont know what to do besides this,2.164999999999999,4.4945088333333345,4.965333333333334,68.01300000000003,106.5,10.253333333333334,29.8,8.841846274778883,4.885059999999998,108,6,17,5,5,38,21,24,0.065,0.935,0.0,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,7,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7157957384764706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356528310603615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710488985577989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912627926951053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,raddlermae,2019/01/29,"Birthday Depression. I know this may sound silly, but does anyone feel down or blue when their birthday comes around? Today is my 31st spin around the sun and for the last week I’ve been crying, reflecting on how little I’ve accomplished thus far; and I know my day will be no different from the last week. This feeling/mood has been happening since my 26th birthday, and lingers for about a month. 

My work gives paid birthdays off and I hate knowing my boyfriend took a day off (without pay) just to hang out with me. 

Anyway, thanks for reading. ",5.727434119278778,6.906618553398057,4.6980859916782265,87.5873786407767,67.3495145631068,7.827461858529817,29.277392510402212,7.957251820313856,1.7465877947295425,433,15,84,5,7,127,76,103,0.13,0.795,0.075,-0.7916,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,7,4,1,0,5,0,7,0,0,2,0,21,18,8,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,5,1,2,3,2,2,0,0,4,3,10,2,15,11,0,21,0,1,1,0,2,9,0,2,9,50,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093301100117508,0.0,0.0,0.3333932016944092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613035538929734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20569076358091887,0.24152789581340836,0.0,0.16128240920265155,0.0,0.0,0.1956415616883788,0.0,0.0,0.16386806371118354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468172625743856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796320054997145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558892889167906,0.0,0.0,0.18487549005923268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087312608655696,0.3052755444999078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767864790253114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946511008358296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730561822212136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489922502603148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239919428510406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749579212135805,0.0,0.20804713320334065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30040924266666824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18050708416902775,0.0,0.13632382970047324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,danner33,2019/01/29,"How do I get myself comfortable with a therapist? So I am at the point where I realize therapy may help me, and i’ve gotten recommendations from friends and family who are all very supportive. Yet I keep getting stressed over it. I’m not comfortable bringing up my traumatic past with a stranger, but if I don’t talk about that then what’s the point of going? What do you even say to a therapist for the first session?",4.5879674796747985,5.983910073170732,5.569268292682928,79.47552845528456,70.21951219512195,10.34471544715447,31.959349593495933,10.504223727775694,3.510432520325204,334,15,66,10,6,110,64,82,0.052000000000000005,0.813,0.135,0.6637,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,6,5,0,1,6,0,6,0,0,1,1,12,14,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,1,1,9,4,10,12,1,12,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,4,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397767427738886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20549776793256908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854187508178731,0.0,0.0,0.16841541613666322,0.0,0.22777733977351136,0.0,0.12388644762991745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611139766604733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375594190474493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20809226960806435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4121343932026354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335118900845062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497021868771799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473678902944507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17520886183334727,0.0,0.0,0.2492859491093239,0.5061970142110362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986125079872875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,meognl,2019/01/29,"Dealing with paranoia I know my paranoia isn't as bad as someone else's but it still affects me. One of my biggest problems is that I am scared of the dark. Sometimes I just can't enter a room just because it's dark. I'm not scared of monsters or shit like that it's just that I can't see anything in there and to me that means danger. I am scared of not knowing what's happening because of that I sleep with my night lamp on, so when I wake up I know what's happening. I don't believe I have depression because I want to do things and I have the motivation for it, but  I'm just too scared to do it. Sadly I don't have the option of therapy. I know my problems aren't that big, but it still couses problems to me so I just want to talk about it because I don't have anywhere else to say it. ",2.130840373499332,3.082160341040467,3.78728323699422,91.61208537127615,75.64739884393063,6.479146287238772,27.180524677634505,6.67199483983844,0.986751356158292,621,24,144,5,13,208,78,173,0.233,0.6829999999999999,0.084,-0.9835,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,13,13,2,4,4,0,16,3,3,2,0,28,28,11,0,5,11,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,17,4,0,0,6,0,0,1,9,12,0,1,0,2,23,1,21,28,0,11,0,2,1,0,3,6,1,2,5,102,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664273543587884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820346190933144,0.3159910218450537,0.0,0.0,0.14600520587895485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360311213913093,0.11161694063849867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21651408373636288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291946125788807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848803246234791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331184486042123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411630986079617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161281301673126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781453189558705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372004596639396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305633598237778,0.5189746635417213,0.0,0.1032676209385703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302377860041176,0.0,0.0,0.12968505641185235,0.0,0.10980242945247072,0.0,0.12816927451240553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20698382589938608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041607123404687,0.0,0.0,0.1481991365276649,0.0,0.08609481234253155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287280967644626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SweetiePeaches,2019/01/29,"just curious so imagine you're a 23 yr old that flunked out of their first year of college. been employed on and off again. currently employed by a family member to nanny your niece and nephew, after you quit your last 2 jobs without notice.

you've been going to therapy for your bipolar disorder for half a decade now, just getting through your first year on a mood stabilizer. maybe it's going ok. you're not sure. objectively... probably not.

you've had a few run ins with the law, mostly traffic violations from wreckless driving. close call with shoplifting, drugs. recently just acquired a DUI. technically the first time you've been arrested.

you dont have a lot of friends. in fact, you only have one best friend that you've seen maybe 6 times in the past 18 months. dont have anyone you talk to on a regular basis. you've dated but are currently single, at least not in anything serious. kind of afraid to get to know anyone because of your past and current situations.

you're still living at home because you have no money, and only make $3/hr that ends up being used to get to and from work. you spend your free time sleeping. or getting drunk. or maybe getting together with that guy you like and have been placing your happiness in.

you're not sure you're ever going to be fully functional on your own. partly independent seems like the best case scenario, but you know that you'll more likely just continue to be a burden to those having to take care of you.

your parents have two younger children that are wonderful. and a granddaughter. it's not like you're their only child or anything.

what would keep you from killing yourself?
what would you say to convince yourself to not do it?",4.125689960194606,6.337010139318888,4.508309376382133,83.28662151702787,72.99380804953559,7.462582927908006,28.25398053958425,8.306716005460428,2.0892822644847406,1357,54,248,23,28,427,177,323,0.081,0.778,0.141,0.9702,7,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,21,2,8,9,23,2,1,14,1,23,4,1,3,4,46,41,13,1,2,16,2,0,4,2,3,2,1,1,3,12,12,1,1,5,1,3,5,10,6,0,6,6,2,23,17,45,29,10,46,0,1,1,0,33,16,0,7,29,160,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553650142701362,0.0,0.1595127050356831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816225093879215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20342171985047036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989654746299355,0.0,0.09881571873522617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111077951648403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22717747155314386,0.0,0.11239565575350548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584176134056183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766908490873203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136692100415617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24731860393089375,0.0,0.0,0.14975927161495786,0.0,0.2531817549528343,0.0,0.16524447036041373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959653767297244,0.0,0.10317243156680496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721799273476606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617748252670866,0.08614635582760016,0.10722688152695403,0.10092657036482526,0.10652866087502423,0.0790021915717893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939956093976149,0.0,0.08558154616972706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239735055380229,0.0,0.0,0.0646944069800784,0.0,0.29210548877319764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736008647181605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034330233509627,0.10170053578631333,0.0,0.06567504793858969,0.22113455896920445,0.0,0.0,0.10761744902067573,0.1049541922888812,0.18504093888839046,0.0,0.0,0.10126007414861236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449543273763133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308564006316126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569614832755878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707414319608974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823172019794505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089413903988668,0.096989326400943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739990406495584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18269064762187945,0.0,0.07287127621872108,0.07790008815866274,0.0,0.0,0.110835703223752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954332641297978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467610484275064,0.0,0.0,0.08370718503043549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342677787667288,0.1051048817055809,0.07055842830410558,0.0,0.0,0.1376974259967463,0.0,0.0,0.12482574490433725
mentalhealth,prolim4,2019/01/29,"How can I resist the temptation of my negative thoughts? I'm a 20 years old male and I have been dealing with this issue for more than 6 years.

Throughout the day, I'll get these negative thoughts that refuse to leave my head. They usually fall under the categories of vast generalizations, jumping to conclusions or unreasonable comparisons. Seldomly, I'm fine with that. I have started to come to terms with the fact that my brain could be an asshole at times and that I can gather sometimes enough reason to not trust whatever it's telling me.

However, what bugs me the most is that, most of times, engaging with these negative thoughts could almost seem tempting. By choosing not think about the stuff that's spit out by mind in its dipshit mode, I get the feeling that I am missing out on something. Maybe I'm not taking into consideration this particular thing when thinking about whatever I'm doing with my life. Maybe I'm not working my mind enough etc... Basically, I'm left with guilt.

In hindsight, the conlusions that I come up to when giving up to the endless cycle of overanalyzing things turn out to be unreasonable most of the times. When I look back at some of the reasoning I made, it seems laughable and I cannot understand how I could allow it to leave me in an unpleasant state of mind. But still, I cannot bring myself to realize how unnecesary it is to engage with these negative thoughts each time they arise.

It's worth mentioning that, during these last two years, I've become more capable of suppressing them by keeping myself busy with work or my hobbies whenever I have spare time. However, this is, either not always the case and I end up giving up or I find myself emotionally/physically exhausted from pushing them away even when I haven't done much during the day.

I always stumble upon advices on how to deal with my issue. And while they seem helpful, a lot of the time they can make things worse. For examle: when I force myself to do my hobbies in my spare time, I end up hating them for a while and refuse to do them for weeks because they're not as spontaneous as I like them to be. Walking while listening to music, although helpful before, doesn't seem to be helping anymore as it only adds physical tiredness on top of my emotional one.

Also, I've also seen that going out with your friends is helpful. It's worth mentioning here that I'm an introvert. Not in the sense that I lack social skills; I think that I can relatively keep a conversation going. But in that I have a ""social battery"" that needs to be recharged with some time alone that I value a lot. So as a consequence, as my ""battery"" level drains, my capacity to resist the ""temptation"" slowly decreases until the social interaction becomes an unpleasant experience instead of a refuge from whatever I was running from.

What I'm getting at is that my methods can be helpful at a certain bearable level of negativity. However, at other levels, these methods can be a hindrance and not serve me any benefits. I feel that I've been locked into this cycle for a long time and that it has been in the way of doing pretty much anything. Maybe I'm locking myself into another mindset with how I'm analyzing it in this post which is why I'm really curious to know what you guys/girls think about it and maybe you could share your experiences. (I'm willing to give more details if asked)

**TL;DR:** My mind acts like an asshole most of the time. I'm constatnly in a fight to resist the temptation of the negative thoughts. Sometimes I win but end up feeling exhausted. Other times I lose and I'm left feeling like shit.",6.389497144022847,7.139425671052635,6.812843737250103,74.54994492044065,65.68128654970761,10.047001223990208,33.88943288453692,10.043921644272036,3.446707915136677,2885,123,513,63,43,939,288,684,0.083,0.836,0.081,-0.8306,3,1,3,0,1,0,77.0,0,4,9,7,22,20,3,1,38,0,43,7,4,10,2,110,101,40,0,7,16,0,4,3,1,1,3,1,0,1,50,33,0,5,26,0,2,11,18,8,0,2,12,7,65,12,103,77,20,91,0,2,2,0,40,40,1,17,40,373,115,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05895657543385373,0.0,0.0,0.060414647206486136,0.06248665060370748,0.0,0.0964963374485246,0.10040355032186793,0.0,0.0,0.04102841572572277,0.06326426734959027,0.0,0.0,0.0598339881483193,0.0,0.0,0.04964880553618205,0.0,0.056403082544748025,0.0,0.056684710802374874,0.046392247503183284,0.0,0.03677835328079522,0.13326581408941998,0.051338822667265166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735142835700983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394283843412662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926835270264498,0.0,0.0,0.07781941081262586,0.12440106504231233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617414659470839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786635026667692,0.16031102656283727,0.12467995089020333,0.06728709049033837,0.039849286982880434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803423391857475,0.0,0.0,0.12202443328150188,0.04310180936514662,0.0,0.0,0.05514314373811355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046613020273137566,0.0,0.09456429227365136,0.17363033926993027,0.06857711280129312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05956621143762009,0.06191892344478923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20219923145329194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594366795412468,0.0,0.107253241481385,0.0,0.0,0.03315736365094433,0.04917933584541159,0.0,0.1277675810278065,0.13110366431004633,0.0,0.04261488537469876,0.08842676795838536,0.0,0.0,0.05339268516930285,0.05066440968003445,0.0674970411214992,0.0,0.10258568515723454,0.0,0.0570884137355106,0.04027265452885405,0.0,0.2424498805894722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436759705594839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870319255112746,0.04473605342178988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330919061338293,0.0,0.04088310937931941,0.04588586099619416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057782205187311086,0.06138021170238251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03865077693369025,0.12406446312698065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196990900380333,0.0,0.0,0.061930816838349514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450526772238646,0.0,0.046447185515937635,0.11934148838119615,0.0,0.04270391094597037,0.0,0.04818190230778794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690666935965454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045362804440528384,0.0,0.0527335815196242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202474198977736,0.15463544984320776,0.0,0.2394877697838521,0.3869863534388556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562482990017908,0.0589364404197069,0.06280863811073226,0.0,0.0,0.06644812480541085,0.0,0.0,0.04788941836675297,0.04839538345717138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444102465933128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784608561494897,0.0,0.061484341753251785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655715699783535
mentalhealth,ichbinsooookreativ,2019/01/29,"I wonder if i have depression I am M18 years old and had a LOT of stress lately.
So much that i had like 6 hours a sleep at night.
My mom is horting stuff and says that she doesnt have a problem and she will clean... But when i got home for the last 10 years it just got worse. I had a car accident about half a year ago where i basically lost all my money. Fast forward to now i am a drug dealer i have lost my best friend in the last months and i have list my GF because i didn't kiss her in our 1 month relationship( i dont know why i didn't). I am constantly thinking about that bad stuff and from time to time about killing myself. I had problems like this for almost 6 years now but when i thought it was over the shit u just read happend.",2.0666666666666664,2.91368251851852,3.295987654320985,95.47694444444448,75.66666666666666,6.634567901234568,22.141975308641968,6.816661863887847,0.19361975308641946,576,14,144,5,12,187,100,162,0.133,0.7659999999999999,0.101,-0.1991,0,0,1,0,0,1,12.0,1,0,0,3,11,14,2,1,9,0,18,4,2,0,1,19,26,11,1,3,5,1,0,2,2,1,1,1,2,0,8,5,0,0,4,1,1,2,4,9,0,1,12,1,25,5,13,13,4,28,0,3,0,1,9,6,1,4,24,94,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152263003470722,0.0,0.1301639583043772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853434446885757,0.07923932794945006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641412755095694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047058239367669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119582615015584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234467884714822,0.0,0.1507445255246346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004282158023158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079261619487312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038831518007854,0.0,0.12801175302695691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381218981199606,0.0,0.07143786977673905,0.21191473645589248,0.1466318476653063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701090071956805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28379397611513724,0.11051093950606287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224008570554454,0.207509969163108,0.0,0.09555595530689877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219847009224608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640028086433198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487614494841881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300229298985358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955820055682747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337147880335157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343056085639934,0.0,0.0,0.13008162896730166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890053229843514,0.0,0.2976097566140139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329090368175217,0.0,0.1031957563999708,0.15159380864353836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729372911150565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096617361953942,0.0,0.0,0.1324686258448122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33483140540823825
mentalhealth,Conjuration_Boyo,2019/01/29,"Bit of a rant I have high functioning autism , severe anxiety disorder and depression. Some times a literally cannot function in a school setting so I Email my teachers for work. With and attendance of 71% but still having grades A's and B's my school is letting me go to prom - also the school is not letting me go to their sixth form even though even though I have the right grades. I just don't know at this point. ",4.213172690763051,5.438077325301209,4.590542168674698,86.78934738955826,70.92771084337348,8.424899598393575,27.086345381526108,8.841846274778883,1.8372104417670685,330,11,69,6,6,104,59,83,0.119,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.7227,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,8,1,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,9,12,8,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,9,0,8,10,3,11,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,48,10,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457475682543133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830104191538584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19737184097552127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571099470190133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071967882326006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388153220132337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205490066653068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19101067562996069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935543490165838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697325269071007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17090151011154572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439053165640926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5488962304194516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042370856985468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443761907181408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552432880024627,0.0,0.1054179585229022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161459596974018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smokeandmirrorsff,2019/01/29,"If your partner has a mental illness, do you ever wonder if the relationship is inherently dysfunctional because they might have chose someone else without their mental illness? To those whose partner has a mental health issue that still allows them to maintain relationships, such as anxiety, personality disorders, depression etc, do you ever wonder that were your partner “healthy” again, they might not have chosen you, and therefore your relationship is built upon their illness? 

In my case, boyfriend has OCD, depression and anxiety. He confessed he chose me initially because I’m a “trophy” – young, attractive, good career etc– to me this signals his self esteem issues, even though he really came to like me after and our relationship is really good. 

If so, how do you help your partner, in terms of seeing the picture themselves, recovery, and what does that mean for your relationship ? ",16.347162162162164,11.883763716216222,14.052648648648653,47.03289189189192,50.351351351351354,16.704864864864867,53.248648648648654,13.968273953766033,7.373647027027026,722,35,96,18,5,227,94,148,0.116,0.7829999999999999,0.101,-0.377,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,9,5,0,9,6,0,0,5,0,14,4,0,3,2,21,20,11,0,3,5,0,0,1,4,2,4,0,0,6,7,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,20,4,12,16,2,11,1,2,1,0,33,3,0,7,8,76,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665788362107706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280191174859535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458359653354555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18763752227859867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248399062714804,0.0,0.09532284893116703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099462406493222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24296504481574374,0.07194532953584312,0.1970616162882748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18272578548247811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578442539022307,0.0,0.0,0.07301154645527752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22738320757922234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053216284340618085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865355701583988,0.0,0.0,0.3293187240407993,0.23110890244167784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511095185877906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956299315996987,0.0,0.0,0.5847347621992673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680080467030575,0.0,0.11363473295067145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229358771515137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698933159548937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702033355848638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500184798409497,0.2362536108395802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,questioninggirl555,2019/01/29,"i revealed too much on accident i tend to be a nervous rambler but i’m usually quiet about speaking about myself. yesterday i was talking to my best friend about mental health and at the same time another friend texted me and the conversation turned to about how i was mentally. i’ve dealt with this stuff for so long i’ve managed to turn it into white noise on a day to day basis in order to function. anyways yesterday was rough and i inadvertently texted my friend that i wasn’t okay but no big deal and then when asked why, i launched into an explanation but then because i kept getting asked why i feel like i revealed too much— something one would only do when intoxicated. i don’t know but now i’m just worried i’m  not going to be looked at the same way, like normal, and i just want to know how can i stop saying so much about myself on impulse sometimes. thanks",4.727235067437377,5.802253433526013,5.447528901734106,81.68416425818884,69.57803468208093,8.078805394990367,29.44556840077071,8.344100000000001,2.0325764932562618,696,26,136,10,12,226,101,173,0.066,0.745,0.189,0.9766,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,17,9,0,1,6,1,10,2,0,3,0,30,27,17,0,3,7,0,2,2,3,1,2,3,0,0,4,8,0,2,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,5,7,18,8,23,19,5,25,0,0,2,0,10,9,0,0,15,92,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980391807036178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671145374926722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708772981111193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14992551034954546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18426914797321095,0.14728509264546946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223563542146523,0.102061087393002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311259275993703,0.0,0.07463982479432266,0.0,0.08119212169816906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185628914450092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702712434327826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959092399153125,0.0,0.0,0.12642892694007726,0.11996862359681272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28794384742792034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150614006816918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997503927230906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680741158477778,0.10865346346742127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361009298241838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998262787395542,0.14129478848669166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943955093557415,0.0,0.0,0.16354352531666005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482756592606885,0.0,0.13152871031810895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833043451391204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107870225517287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734299726057616,0.0,0.08426407729455104,0.11339770151462605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25782259526272144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508392976138088,0.0,0.10148550942129507,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,honeyholke,2019/01/29,"Friend is having a mental break possibly? I wasn't sure if this is the right subreddit to ask this, so please point me in the right direction if it isn't.

One of my friends bought a tiny amount of marijuana (an eighth?) and thought someone was following/watching him. He threw the weed away in a fast food restaurant trashcan shortly after purchasing it. Now he thinks he is being followed and investigated. He told me that the cops have tapped his phone and that he is sure he is going to jail. He keeps calling and texting me and another friend about this. We have told him plenty of times that he isn't being investigated, but he continues to freak out. He is calling and texting at weird times. I don't think he's sleeping and he has lost a lot of weight?

I think my friend is having some sort of mental break. I don't know his family or anyone that would know his family.

Do you guys think he's having some kind of breakdown? What do I do? ",4.038197097020628,5.440623411764707,4.70056913674561,85.15236631016046,71.56684491978609,7.909702062643241,26.191367456073337,8.418075326091056,1.6066565317035908,746,24,152,12,14,239,100,187,0.064,0.863,0.073,0.4007,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,0,1,3,10,0,0,9,0,25,3,1,0,2,28,41,12,0,3,4,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,10,9,2,1,7,0,2,3,5,3,0,1,8,1,17,7,16,30,4,20,0,1,0,0,31,9,0,7,6,94,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690517352629902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129167445464463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205742873045225,0.0,0.12266687806252552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26663588913812003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461636273746169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787554967583645,0.0,0.4034861318358488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742011400852366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292764655880547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604910837841352,0.0,0.13595976742148708,0.14350643149703782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252335952877138,0.11099876451707953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26315067660268965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847188813460011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331737969225175,0.12342287001127852,0.1471885352081879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22299770794493226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065584426551255,0.0,0.11062438124679556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461054395385288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33463428853315835,0.0,0.10365129022519837,0.1522629844889535,0.0,0.0,0.2495143203996453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898879961634454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274718216115947,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheMysteriousThought,2019/01/29,"Anyone who can give me some advice...? I have a lot of problems. I'm going to lay them out very matter of factly. I want your input. 

Since I'm not sure how to begin, I'm just going to make a list of my issues.

​

\- Mind is very scattered. Emotional regulation is not stable. One day I feel one way to one extreme, then the next, the other. One little thing can cause me to shift entirely.

\- Cannot feel certain emotions very strongly. Am not able to give people enough love, nor really feel their love for more than a few fleeting seconds. Have never really been able to feel love strongly.

\- Very hard to empathize with people. I think I want to, because I've been told that's what I should do, but I feel nothing. In fact, most of the time I get angry at people for being weak.

\- Violent thoughts and disposition. Did violent things to people/animals as a kid. HAVE NOT IN YEARS.  DO REGRET WHAT I'VE DONE. Still think the thoughts, but do not act on them. I always feel like I have to be ""on guard"", or I'll randomly have odd thoughts of harming others/myself. No compulsion to act on them. Just thoughts. A lot of them.

\- I hurt everyone I'm around. Physically or mentally. Sometimes on purpose, often times not. I have made people close to me break down and cry numerous times because of things I've said. That was not my intended result.

\- Drug abuse. I've taken nearly every drug out there and several research chemicals. All I take now though is kratom, caffeine, and marijuana. (I've smoked weed since I was 15. I've done LSD, 2CB, Mescaline, DMT, marijuana, mushrooms, cocaine, kratom, hydrocodone, oxycodone, MDMA, LSA, possibly meth, Adderall, Nitrous Oxide, Ketamine ((and probably a few others I can't remember off the top of my head))  Point being, I've done a lot of drugs, so I'm definitely altered in some way.

\- Emptiness. I'm so empty. I'm not depressed, I'm not upset, I'm just gone. Gone until I'm angry or momentarily excited/high. I think I also have manic episodes maybe? Sometimes I'm literally bouncing off the walls shrieking and shit, making random ass noises and wanting to start a business, travel the world, and make tons of cash haha.

\- I think a lot of really weird thoughts, and have really weird sleep experiences such as sleep paralysis. I've seen a lot of mind bending things.

\- I have no energy unless a drug gives it to me. 

\- Heavily dissociated, that's typically how I am most of the time. It's like I'm dissociated and then I shift to something, or I may temporarily come back to reality/lose clarity and experience something else.

​

​

Sorry if this is ranty. I just want opinions on what I should do.

​

I want to say this as well:

​

I feel, sometimes, like all I can do is try my hardest to not be a bad person. To not hurt or take advantage of other people. I feel dead, like I died a long time ago, but I have to keep going, and I feel almost like a corpse mentally and physically. I just feel dead. Gone. Like the lights are on, but no one is home.  I don't feel human sometimes, I never really did. I don't feel much of anything other than anger. I can feel other emotions but it is very rare.

​

I don't want to hurt anyone else. I don't want to cause pain. I would like to make people happy, but I  often can't find happiness for myself. Something is literally wrong with me, or I was made wrong or something. I don't know what it is, but it almost seems like I cannot change it.

It seems like I was designed to be like this, or something in me is broken and I can't fix it. 

I went to therapy for months and quit the first time I took LSD. The therapist was doing nothing for me. I don't think therapy is the answer, and I don't really trust pharmaceuticals.

​

Is this really my life? Are some people just like this?

​

I don't care about terminologies or diagnoses, I just want help with the problems I have, but I swear to you it feels like this is my nature now. Like this is how I am by default, and I cannot change my state of being without a drug doing it for me, or something happening to influence it.

​

I have moments of happiness, but I have all of these other problems that make it very hard to just stay who I feel like I am supposed to be for everyone else. I keep losing myself to this emptiness and these destructive impulses.

​",2.4926574639289685,4.870768239386795,3.9970499445061054,84.17492008879023,78.87028301886792,6.820776914539403,24.59911209766925,7.928766900206844,1.5483842785793565,3409,124,651,60,85,1128,320,848,0.192,0.6920000000000001,0.115,-0.9982,0,0,14,0,1,0,200.0,0,2,5,7,26,52,5,1,28,1,81,17,5,15,9,161,164,53,3,16,41,0,17,14,0,4,9,2,1,3,42,26,0,3,31,1,1,12,32,23,1,7,28,21,84,29,87,125,19,67,0,6,1,4,22,25,2,31,39,429,126,2,0.06405748675160539,0.03794882352145134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03129811734008877,0.028391548498856743,0.0,0.06414431989694258,0.0,0.0,0.02561337450596315,0.026650480257804237,0.3470313006621457,0.3891842892226129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479048414747545,0.03281723257029005,0.026356926772486758,0.028512372092389108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024628126639650732,0.02674266287729068,0.039048849363682435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032655438475479186,0.06580468434072269,0.0677643272635678,0.027589926399499958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035182070644394575,0.020655889805563397,0.0,0.027586309737401445,0.03250850032668818,0.033240778937642684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832957384688863,0.0,0.0,0.18571586931449025,0.0,0.08026771575569658,0.10808407604032932,0.0,0.0330942537299865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02698559768248841,0.06120967371444589,0.0,0.06266051371107534,0.0,0.0,0.24292042510299516,0.0686440220019569,0.0,0.0,0.029273691195873558,0.027243632753566633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0167336964762243,0.09217466741036733,0.05460801888944824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02832291199067295,0.10228557868681502,0.05738292595677134,0.0,0.03287073099626118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021468191547865948,0.03384012587657095,0.032127441070041104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286229665407062,0.0,0.0,0.033429686755566984,0.0,0.05693723748855545,0.0,0.0,0.017602159735338883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022622848648802055,0.2190667665073831,0.032101215115348206,0.0,0.02834443000180932,0.0,0.035831971202255966,0.0,0.13614846129702762,0.08672157414687677,0.060612742809602285,0.10689717455308284,0.0,0.032177177676701266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455488016394108,0.0,0.06467980088232396,0.0,0.025565037390529857,0.0,0.023544811655660684,0.0,0.04940508280163283,0.0,0.03406293193833755,0.0,0.0,0.061464886178136814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851752710918806,0.0,0.03408084114616652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15543288503326932,0.02796626330952798,0.0,0.0,0.030277515094887374,0.0361075957490944,0.0,0.0,0.0345324025206513,0.09194154550310116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034066511076116086,0.0,0.0,0.14362903204569882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036282322614409175,0.0,0.030466669458820893,0.02547054227206619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058315530107712975,0.0,0.036183363395311474,0.03287704480985165,0.052989014992731134,0.0,0.0641037483024469,0.0,0.0,0.1479437486011048,0.12670898468606548,0.03585355597736899,0.022670109412430597,0.03413837887869757,0.02557819583313049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030186711587085833,0.0,0.048163257984618436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325531876578767,0.03718783967448695,0.08511389566774545,0.1026136274561973,0.031468077747913784,0.12713622297517527,0.11205730698457132,0.0,0.0,0.030604836857222945,0.03558511238082012,0.021745414330238067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856240563838514,0.1511310614333997,0.05084585135284422,0.0,0.0,0.028797686792292606,0.02969096599161788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030874565665901074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02275230034462951,0.07003680585014269,0.3891842892226129,0.020625460630416547
mentalhealth,MerbleBerble,2019/01/29,"How to calm down when crying I'm having a difficult day cause of family stress and keep intermittently crying at my desk (I'm at work)

I'm not sure of a good way to calm down at my desk when I'm limited to breaks and using my phone etc

idk. I just need some reassurance today as I feel so small.

",3.6437500000000007,3.664450875,5.7687500000000025,82.20125,71.5,9.525,22.25,9.516144504307137,1.36348125,232,4,54,5,4,82,42,64,0.269,0.631,0.1,-0.877,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,13,9,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,5,11,9,2,12,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,4,29,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25898015305683525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5538485979608687,0.16258616106025325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811624919155268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376611225797575,0.0,0.1274713079655797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21145279240656625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22408153199352504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693184928753365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887841685138106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376049445546257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389650218097771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21773682798635435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001083433131179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18353464354407076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heidimcfarland,2019/01/29,"going back to school.. hello, i just feel like talking about this somewhere. so the last year i have completely checked out on life, i stopped going my last semester of high school then i unenrolled myself from college and just worked. 

my depression hit me hard this time, i started experiencing really bad anxiety, bipolar episodes and became really suicidal. i started therapy and that helped a lot, i never took my meds bc i dont wanna be dependent on it and need it forever, i smoke weed and it helps me stay chill. 

if i were to say a new years resolution, it would be to take care of myself and be more productive since the majority of last year was spent in bed. and a big fear of mine is being more of a failure than i already feel like. 

so to dip my toe back into the real world, at my local community college im taking a cardio kickboxing class at 8am, and basically get really fit, and also a drawing class. im gonna be taking these and going to work at the same time. thinking about it makes me really overwhelmed but im just gonna take everything day by day. 

with my relationship being the best its been, my relationship with my parents is getting stronger again, and reconnecting w my old best friend, i feel like everything should be okay. 

im having trouble wanting to just drop these classes and lay in bed all day and do nothing w my life. its a cycle. can i have any words of encouragement or some motivation? how do u break out of your depression shell? ",4.195305669939817,5.778382076655056,5.614800443458978,78.04264412416852,71.4390243902439,9.120620842572064,29.073329109914475,9.573946990214177,2.7548062717770034,1164,46,221,28,22,392,164,287,0.091,0.767,0.142,0.953,1,0,1,0,1,0,29.0,0,1,0,5,13,15,0,2,12,1,21,5,1,4,2,46,45,21,1,6,7,1,4,3,1,4,4,1,2,0,12,18,0,1,5,0,2,4,2,6,0,0,5,6,30,9,31,28,9,43,0,3,0,0,11,15,0,5,24,143,42,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054700365060117,0.07286415098401443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06196091493459442,0.0,0.06970226490878356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012269546967754,0.07607671629335093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19123787831190966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289720099054304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553171254584343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628374658145884,0.0,0.15695339458920868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678539561071113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377549126442958,0.0,0.0,0.1025290288102205,0.1382105315930531,0.1952764319334859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703947577039309,0.0,0.0952070244614126,0.0,0.15534723596737748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162060371711809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214412044248718,0.09626736377959344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39367673963582855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228111851962364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871358744635938,0.13354167716438473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746220270880957,0.0,0.0,0.060819568031436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012075556602581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675601714457417,0.07027304059052843,0.08799885314334714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874267220364959,0.0,0.09560923337613812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117175607001214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370813215115196,0.2334808653352825,0.0,0.0,0.19564552920331627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245782617688568,0.0,0.1844252698329239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537077139183028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898247942042146,0.09711582487453158,0.0,0.07617571637472742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966436270351056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27402675120814285,0.07323430158158177,0.0,0.0,0.10419725455718007,0.0,0.0,0.058382427057747134,0.0,0.0,0.10625907613338156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123144846437704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053741632501868496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266473349865296,0.0,0.0,0.06472505398141751,0.0,0.0,0.1760240545976826
mentalhealth,emokiddo00002,2019/01/29,"Sometimes I want to treat my friend badly with no reason What does it even mean??? I happens only with this guy, and at the end I can control myself so I don't do it, but I feel this urge to trat him badly. ",6.252666666666666,3.3983526000000026,7.082777777777783,84.35750000000002,67.44444444444447,9.0,29.16666666666667,3.1291,1.0629999999999993,157,3,37,0,2,53,35,45,0.18,0.711,0.11,-0.6416,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,7,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,8,2,5,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,27,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4668243124739779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135385355349181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24463565185360156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475978828718892,0.0,0.0,0.18463980867307545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134862704203638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21597925073549687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767979563352179,0.2472047001821682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045113589321999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260999221332155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874234455529237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764816041869282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488553835036268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aerialpoler,2019/01/29,"How to help a friend with suspected eating disorder? I have a work friend who I suspect has an eating disorder. In 9 hours of work she'll eat one packet of crisps and insists it's enough. She's incredibly thin and also suffers with anaemia and has fainted 3 times in the last couple of months as a result, once needing a blood transfusion because her iron was so low. Everyone who works in my office is concerned about her but no one wants to interfere.

She's only 19 and still lives with her parents, but they seem almost negligent and her home life isn't great. She also has to maintain a vegetarian diet as her mum is vegetarian and refuses to let any of the family eat meat.

I've suffered with my mental health over the years (never an ED though) so I understand how difficult it is to talk about it, but I can't just ignore the fact that she's unwell. I'd hate for her to get seriously ill just because everyone's afraid of an awkward conversation.

Can I go to HR and voice my concern? Should I talk to her personally? We get along well but we don't know each other outside of work.",5.094884792626728,5.728454963133642,6.2789631336405565,77.65273041474656,68.49308755760369,9.517972350230414,30.246543778801843,9.606745405546679,2.687613824884792,865,32,169,18,14,291,130,217,0.174,0.775,0.051,-0.9793,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,1,4,13,13,1,2,12,0,15,10,1,3,2,38,24,20,0,3,6,2,1,0,2,2,4,1,1,1,7,15,5,3,5,0,0,1,5,9,1,2,1,2,24,4,28,20,2,14,0,3,0,0,27,6,0,2,7,113,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799400831197207,0.0,0.0,0.18846405912229952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013134976393993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366136436691435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038138738659846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700965825906234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4822955351015147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175430828383192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251914046524852,0.0,0.0,0.11108367033614104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207694179712855,0.0,0.12312709367114147,0.0,0.06696793569141375,0.0,0.0,0.12991270750984624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163369542399422,0.0,0.12525232735721206,0.0,0.0,0.07898183271758857,0.0,0.11819738847496965,0.0,0.11604302794305026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475863756782099,0.09605066371881026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049353279320155,0.08322983533993229,0.0,0.0,0.10404982631671204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874923732733338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405419651188283,0.0,0.0,0.08737262407995637,0.09088105946271627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548966039769993,0.15969511272441148,0.0896182782510009,0.0,0.0,0.13084102099583078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288834648807403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727190116446332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941026066404207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18942145838053545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577157987845793,0.0,0.06871011511228625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266963906901265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950171015773647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594716726889188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431390311954574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758814116970511
mentalhealth,itslikeadarkparadise,2019/01/29,"something is wrong with me but I don't know what, I need some help hi, something is wrong with me but I don't know what, I study medicine and since I've gotten into to college something changed. I have an exam in 2 days, I studied a bit but I am totally unmotivated to study for that and I don't really care. yesterday I cried a lot and today I woke up feeling empty and with lack of motivation to even get out of bed. I have a girlfriend who I adore but even when im with her I can't help but feeling sad and like a piece of shit. I really want to change and feel anything but sadness again but I don't know how, can anyone help me?

​

ps: sorry for the English its not my first language",1.6065644490644502,3.252467317567572,3.4405405405405425,90.67285862785864,78.52702702702703,6.1754677754677765,24.222453222453225,7.010146845296331,0.7824941787941784,545,19,122,6,13,183,86,148,0.223,0.612,0.165,-0.8888,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,8,1,0,6,0,11,1,1,2,1,34,23,15,0,3,8,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,12,0,0,7,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,2,3,20,3,17,21,6,10,0,2,0,0,7,4,1,2,7,84,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631581080327214,0.1829764986168794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529209667006913,0.0,0.12391811048602062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643991371273392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353080683131878,0.0,0.31859660518628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540986568244487,0.0971144647176698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989191197574762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284199545498371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808699294642836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867412110219454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30280059831639955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162656966040249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482717040994203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735679196001563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802145117402836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165640644848793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929364138659549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457269758224787,0.1245649515798069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477816276365908,0.0,0.1685668799428527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427363806855767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881856622659763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32928075114150024,0.1829764986168794,0.0
mentalhealth,mrgoldenlife,2019/01/29,"How do I go about getting a mental health check-up? Hey all! 

I've been noticing small changes in my attitude/personality. Some days I would just be regular and stuff but then some other days I'd feel like I'm the worst human being imaginable especially when I stay at home all day and do nothing. Before I used to be okay with relaxing but whenever I catch myself doing nothing I feel like a waste of life. I know that's not true because I have a job and do well enough in class, but it just happens. Other than that I seem to be getting frustrated with my family more so than with anybody else. Even them just talking to me for long periods of time feels uncomfortable and I just start getting snappy, noticably annoyed and sarcastic. Perhaps it's nothing serious, but I've decided that starting this year I'd get a mental check up at least once just to make sure everything is going good up there. I just don't know where or what to do.

Am I looking for a psychologist first or a psychiatrist first? Are there a set of questions I should ask myself to see if I really need to go? 

I'm 20. ",4.071261467889908,5.3582539587156015,5.475126146788992,80.07626720183488,71.33944954128441,8.93623853211009,29.22133027522936,9.354420925462401,2.5474119266055046,865,34,171,19,16,291,133,218,0.102,0.773,0.125,0.4965,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,2,15,12,2,0,8,1,17,2,0,3,4,43,41,16,0,4,14,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,10,8,0,0,9,1,1,4,2,4,1,2,1,5,20,8,24,34,8,27,0,0,2,0,6,8,0,7,15,117,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476977923100662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483710634375386,0.0,0.10446495258175337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987030983947856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23752203414856765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255536638280756,0.0,0.0,0.12685025172913894,0.0,0.08108588508278393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033430075991968,0.0,0.11573300151553945,0.0,0.1862227643860936,0.17540832600311246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088496511208414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565609882231267,0.0,0.2093124987519974,0.10297042308988302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856170213210538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049467800255832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231444594701684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218264620137305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349381322583558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671336327280654,0.11995468071145148,0.0,0.0,0.1086441806539548,0.10309264762672568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819473592716532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24743881115894456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102954560704994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533922995127789,0.27954015383305786,0.0,0.1307419444554164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719466798317964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752618578295714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864714011450011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782872797994617,0.11176169334767153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378902749441852,0.1308523827042428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405378716668952,0.0,0.0,0.11570564470009928,0.0,0.0,0.09867478209665254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715859300683903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060305378086261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038151361936477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720955153365853,0.0,0.0,0.07905737637549838
mentalhealth,cluterfoot5,2019/01/29,"Depressive episodes I’m having This might turn into a ramble sorry

I’m a 15 yr old male and I’m having depressive episodes, I’ve just started my next year of school. I got home from an average first day, and after finishing some homework I just felt down, after a minor annoyance. And I’m still like this as of writing, this has been happening for at least 2 months. I fell terrible, I feel worthless. I put on fake happiness(which I know is bad) to seem normal. I have talked to a close friend about this and it seems to be the combination of multiple factors in my life. I don’t know what to do, I know I should talk to my parents but honestly I don’t know why I’m having these episodes, which makes me worried they will write it off as something minor. I thought it was just because I was quite isolated for about 2 months during my school holiday but after going back it’s still happening. 

I would like some advice because I don’t know what is going on.  Thank you so much for reading this strangers story.",3.6209514925373165,5.275634661691544,4.455643656716418,85.49301772388061,73.02985074626865,7.811069651741294,27.48787313432836,8.472884824447931,1.9223156716417915,801,30,159,14,16,258,118,201,0.097,0.809,0.093,0.5041,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,2,9,12,1,0,6,0,19,1,0,1,0,30,43,9,0,3,5,1,2,2,1,4,1,0,2,1,13,6,0,0,10,2,0,4,3,7,0,1,6,2,22,5,26,32,4,27,0,3,0,0,9,8,0,5,17,104,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917338300226694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016450414727378,0.11037214145542526,0.16116215297691364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525085186798312,0.0,0.22770807039976526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683863818375323,0.0,0.1269219952043201,0.0,0.0,0.11243974101732937,0.0,0.0,0.10212875283758416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502519030639713,0.0,0.10572347339083063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337882703011375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325961624186118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632375865380986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933688714039992,0.1291615586679435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823706244285165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023144621645947,0.0,0.0,0.2110237066613811,0.0,0.09717399103163664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058430753645287,0.0,0.12951697524485822,0.0,0.0,0.1387099278831278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678003883862573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288627283359594,0.0,0.140599079330234,0.13222459011882484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675642819737937,0.0,0.2406794703889519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176541021720234,0.0,0.1479745592341359,0.09356392571524842,0.0,0.21113232153602648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124967292853062,0.0,0.12170170343812635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494315581594882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143783474952089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927984754212152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342441612234565,0.0,0.09390314358732936,0.0,0.0,0.08512526477745701
mentalhealth,decodrum,2019/01/29,What is an anger disorder for an adult? I keep seeing oppositional Defiance disorder but it seems to relate around kids. Does it affect adults as well? My dad has always had a very quick temper and yells and screams and makes a big deal out of nothing. I've been out of his house for 10 years but he still wants to remain in contact with me but he has not changed his attitude. Any other anger disorders that I can bring to his attention?,3.004069767441859,5.2397763255813965,3.8327325581395364,86.73072674418606,76.44186046511628,7.555813953488372,23.540697674418613,8.472884824447931,1.4947255813953493,348,11,70,7,8,111,66,86,0.195,0.777,0.028,-0.9424,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,3,0,4,0,6,0,0,2,0,17,12,7,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,5,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,2,3,7,1,13,10,0,9,0,0,1,0,11,5,0,1,3,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790789636952194,0.0,0.0,0.1372261230563258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963850453074592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21347018008033036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080396666295309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6938165959177441,0.0,0.1765903669050109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328419664467516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17936284223237686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346983584042366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936257740747628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080285174279688,0.18370471922719397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115210734376706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650031391858086,0.11902270782692595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18143609281435927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994804118366654
mentalhealth,thatweirdpotterhead,2019/01/29,"What is wrong with me? I constantly feel like I'm completely disconnected from everything. Like... If you've ever been in one of those inflatable balls where you can walk on water, you'll know that when you're in there, sounds just bounce around and the world around you is strangely distorted. It's like that. Nothing quite feels right. Sometimes I look at my hands and they just don't seem like they should be MY hands. In some ways, it's like I'm always drunk, without the fun part of being giddy. I feel really disconnected from my emotions, like if I feel sad or happy or angry or anything, it doesn't quite feel like the emotion is there. Like I know how I feel, but it's out of reach, I can't quite *feel* it. It's like I'm in this dream world where everything is just slightly off, slightly wrong, and I don't know what to do.",3.42296703296703,4.869122285714287,3.778571428571432,90.98950549450552,73.16666666666666,7.312087912087913,23.042124542124533,7.882392219407189,0.8513932234432229,656,17,143,9,13,204,90,168,0.112,0.7559999999999999,0.131,0.2901,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,2,3,12,14,0,0,3,0,15,4,2,1,1,32,30,11,0,3,10,0,9,9,0,2,0,1,0,0,12,7,2,0,11,3,0,1,5,3,0,1,1,11,17,11,18,25,2,20,0,1,1,0,5,15,0,7,12,86,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364644097925602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261493089496822,0.2003777901560784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800127257667616,0.12162114341858447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25319591366448563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180337971989116,0.0,0.0,0.20229634611437586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983428721834821,0.24120647330933476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980622631517596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855553367313308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4948541409176282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450943986822012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079899457739044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076263392624375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187524829194635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591163260096749,0.0,0.0,0.07209919747498977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611279986172834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245672489910904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130986516153243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893329683310266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848934666178456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461005408523688,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lajap,2019/01/29,"Is being away from home cause depression I’m studying abroad third year in a row , although it was my dream since I came here I’ve become really depressed and suicidal and I failed myself a lot it’s like I’ve became another person , i’m not sure if that’s the reason or if that’s common for people who go and live abroad in another Country another culture another language",1.9030030030030043,4.596891702702706,3.881531531531533,81.87863363363365,84.67567567567569,7.072672672672672,24.43843843843844,8.167268648758528,2.0913771771771783,302,12,53,7,9,102,54,74,0.223,0.72,0.058,-0.9302,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,2,1,12,7,7,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,4,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,3,0,1,2,0,4,2,5,4,1,7,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,4,3,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7194260256305559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115122293767506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894333464200643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617627475996674,0.0,0.17620106111774594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954645005443733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748030321608583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205125331893434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379732732871123,0.0,0.1514576866408413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458224659258121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891224353594355,0.14976700579924093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988183378179132,0.17635390278097166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188534999970245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18761799466228726,0.0,0.16165811496821678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104549952798019
mentalhealth,santamademe,2019/01/29,"All things wrong with my brain I’ve posted here before but am mostly a lurker. I have anxiety and have had depression. 

The past few months have been hell. I was in a relationship which ended earlier this month. I had a lung infection, continue to investigate what’s wrong with my physically and my anxiety attacks began to worsen and worsen until I was severe physical symptoms.

My relationship was going to shit. It really was. He basically told me that he began checking out months ago because I was “too much”. That me being so sick and so stressed with that and work (I have a lot going on) and him being unable to “fix me” or “intrinsically understandings me” stressed him out.

I didn’t stress him out when I stood by him and helped him recover from his trauma and his bullshit. I didn’t stress him out when I soothed him because it made him sad that I was sick and stressed. I didn’t stress him out when I was quiet and made less jokes and walked on eggshells so he wouldn’t feel less funny or inferior.

No, I stressed him out when I was worried about work and being sick, about my job and my future, about the possibility of cancer that was on the table. I stressed him out when I was tired from being anxious all week. When I asked if we could do something together just the two of us. When I had too many opinions. When I won too many debates on politics.

He told me I was too much, too stressed, to worried, to much to handle and that he’d have to get over himself and give up on certain things (whatever they may be) to continue to love me. But he didn’t want to do that. Because I wasn’t enough, or was too much. 

He told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him, that I helped and healed him until he got better. But that after that he didn’t want to deal with stress anymore, he wanted to go back to being his old carefree and thoughtless self.

He used my anxiety as an excuse to any and all fuck ups and lies, told me I was imagining things. Told me I was just stressing. I was making problems up. That I needed help, pills and more therapy.

Now he admits all my fears and doubts were real. That he felt bad that he couldn’t be the person he was pretending to be and that he lied. 

He used me as a test for his own strength and broke years of work in the process.

I feel wounded, you know? Frayed. I don’t know if I can work all that up again. I just don’t. My greatest fear has always been that I was too difficult to love and I thought I’d found someone who made me safe and he lied to me for months.

Sorry for the rant.",2.9815782756664784,4.467462967054266,4.045424465872569,88.47480714690869,74.36821705426357,7.127169597277369,24.407071280015124,7.765008861874849,1.0753972017394595,1985,61,426,27,41,644,214,516,0.29,0.608,0.102,-0.9991,1,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,2,1,1,8,29,37,4,14,14,0,55,16,3,6,7,86,94,48,0,10,11,0,3,0,0,2,10,1,0,2,27,37,0,1,10,2,1,4,11,28,0,1,46,4,78,9,59,35,19,54,1,4,0,3,60,19,3,10,30,312,105,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049455698561370734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046422903569306936,0.0,0.0,0.03794005651654391,0.0,0.12804077567746813,0.06302838723598038,0.05533006458580388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05215741582030909,0.06347075733375533,0.0,0.04290013301919325,0.04658347796848432,0.10202973554135747,0.0,0.04747436134288008,0.0,0.05854961889214146,0.049342948207502284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228163952070063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04454488295417686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057518470490983575,0.04805304010975199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049414609366340345,0.05764741703502495,0.0,0.0,0.05046650390924008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556164323113495,0.05641960350173704,0.0,0.0535684810437815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117237646040623,0.0,0.051578238527141,0.029148697147636907,0.05352018244238293,0.09512259330761548,0.0,0.0446214690456322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0493361395151574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218737257939046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536434312013184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132297475321369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047431842344008684,0.10070781051734932,0.15837347886239578,0.03724118423461387,0.11312741978874985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812861217444734,0.0,0.1640523563515377,0.04136860673578776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05854367582569105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05325919208294536,0.0,0.048714887396142964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289640634483007,0.05343272684747321,0.0,0.0,0.05338482283264707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350281301032025,0.0357413913097593,0.0,0.0,0.11979814118333187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05820258457934645,0.06302838723598038,0.05726905729605325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047271861389899854,0.042950935646395336,0.0,0.062453890348439185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.702997301890096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798861352144904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380231361885391,0.0,0.1482612745725186,0.0,0.0,0.04429212953949778,0.0,0.0641239924302827,0.0,0.2665553071527069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05450007856398193,0.05808080174429784,0.06711016948188968,0.09637169100071663,0.0,0.0,0.09872161716291013,0.0,0.04475248558899969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246717763946056,0.11331772391633985,0.0,0.0,0.12199824741737415,0.0,0.035927824213898535
mentalhealth,pastdivision,2019/01/29,"Is this normal? A while back, I had a fight with my significant other and some of the things they said really shook me to my core. I was unquestionably in the wrong, so I feel like I don't have the right to be this strongly affected, but ever since then I've been obsessing over it, no matter how much I try to work through it. The argument was over text, so I'm at the point where if I'm not expecting a call I'll have to hide my phone because there are times where it'll buzz and my heart will just *drop*, even if I know it's just a notification from a game.

I was emotionally abused as a child and I was already in a really bad place when this happened, so I don't know if this is just trauma symptoms acting up or if there's something else at work.",5.908687499999999,4.365033493750001,6.738750000000002,82.37125000000005,67.1875,10.5,29.375,9.516144504307137,2.0739375,589,15,138,10,8,197,99,160,0.197,0.764,0.039,-0.9774,0,0,1,0,2,0,14.0,0,0,1,3,15,8,1,2,12,0,16,2,1,2,2,25,23,17,0,6,10,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,10,4,0,0,3,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,7,2,15,2,16,13,2,21,0,0,0,0,7,12,0,6,7,98,25,2,0.0,0.2296551363403503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138946244693122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904219041307687,0.1618387427930818,0.11815608485834983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979206205961441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619188817556083,0.21803102982653685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802192905011298,0.17532902011651375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800553863520776,0.13847115464943854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140194638964068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296877646674336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21304620374430386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469483873544687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248628624368556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991082502875764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20250958015455925,0.0,0.18323063041026372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24834306442985535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552852240050808,0.18437533707591228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033697929815466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492186871813632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146207878626904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877107575538665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302298607020606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159686202038126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822189853675077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21192109140439072,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,i_am_bordeaux,2019/01/29,I haven't been able to tell when I'm dreaming. My memories are becoming mixed. I sometimes think something happened in a dream when it really happened and other times I think something really happened when it was only a dream.,4.454285714285714,7.1407070476190535,5.081190476190475,77.33464285714288,73.76190476190476,8.009523809523811,31.92857142857143,8.841846274778883,3.2448857142857146,184,9,29,4,4,59,29,42,0.0,0.892,0.108,0.4588,0,0,2,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,10,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,2,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,19,7,0,0.23855068914650135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634604941865169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6328487597595057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18142854860166116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056433598134989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672959500743637,0.23593273129121697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850381686128389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.305707298700847,0.0,0.0,0.13910082521515005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotAFrench,2019/01/29,"How can I help a friend who does psychotic crisis? A friend of mine started to do psychotic crisis often and I was wondering if I could help him in any way.

He is depressive since 6 years now and he left alcohol and weed very recently, but he still takes Valium often in a medical context. 

When his crisis occur (could be anytime but mostly in a stressful situation) he relate seeing colors everywhere and a weird feeling of '' someone watching him in his head'' and he cab' t grasp some objects because they're in another dimension. 

Last time he has to hang up with me because' shadows where after us and he didn't wanted them to hear our conversation'. 
Those sames shadows where trying to kill him so he had to be moving constantly..

I would like to help him the best I could but unfortunately we're living far away and I can only talk to him via messages or call...

Is there anything I should do when his crisis occur? 
",4.31122564935065,6.133455982954544,5.5378571428571455,77.75000000000003,71.55681818181819,8.437662337662339,28.48051948051948,9.04235418022936,2.542738311688312,727,28,129,15,14,242,114,176,0.174,0.715,0.111,-0.9474,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,1,1,11,8,1,1,6,0,17,3,1,1,0,28,24,16,1,7,5,0,1,1,2,2,2,1,0,0,2,8,1,0,3,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,3,5,20,4,18,14,4,25,0,1,3,0,30,11,0,7,12,90,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157455153599836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019211803925823,0.15449246162296648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212432626705256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842506797482998,0.0,0.0,0.17962678051391226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546178594814965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150444405455808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921562641461995,0.0,0.3529024398561743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689848958770222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893290644289732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449645694793916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276596425557089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512071079740632,0.0,0.16605603598158114,0.0,0.2962644631561674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300315337772736,0.0,0.0,0.12009680936879505,0.0,0.0,0.16007873540308445,0.0,0.0,0.0719799112915952,0.0,0.13009855082934954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484234242985931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659264050261534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205408544160138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547447171233538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740605902165327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187614130571806,0.16560949936705488,0.0,0.0,0.12483555247860613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428370704926264,0.0,0.1176610589999294,0.0,0.16877050781297884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107767720664808,0.11842142415633948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591159370335706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003006057112154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17722456526737454,0.0,0.0,0.12156591423089833,0.08690136343101902,0.11694680803443595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977735162517104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466178970160477,0.0,0.0,0.0948782140839191
mentalhealth,IDontLikeLollipops,2019/01/29,"How do I know when it's time to switch therapists? I've been v uncomfortable at therapy lately. I brought up some stuff I'm not really ready to discuss, I made that clear, he won't drop it... Should I switch? Is it just me? Have you guys switched? Why?",-0.6080769230769221,1.5836739615384623,1.2411538461538465,97.74134615384621,97.84615384615385,5.676923076923077,18.03846153846154,7.1686216300943375,0.30410769230769263,194,6,46,4,8,63,43,52,0.119,0.7909999999999999,0.09,-0.3554,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,8,10,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,6,0,4,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,26,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303962783797356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833821441300251,0.0,0.3764062773238887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31573667394095584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137643517442187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819844814274084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38159287343667453,0.387428922223659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457185490531415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010948619366307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CaptainRiege05,2019/01/29,"Question: Why is it that I feel every emotion but happiness and sadness? Lately I've realized I don't remember the last time I was happy or sad. But early today I was excited about a vacation I'm going on later this year. And then I was also mad about my brother bugging me and I got scared as usual when I'm in my kitchen getting water and I here a weird noise. 

But as I think about it I don't feel happy or sad even when I cry.

When I'm not feeling one of those emotions I don't feel anything could this be a special type of numbness ? ( Emotionally ) ",1.951293103448279,3.5966329224137965,4.294344827586208,84.9351379310345,77.5344827586207,6.708965517241379,27.11724137931035,7.554174236665415,1.597278620689656,433,18,88,6,10,151,73,116,0.232,0.606,0.162,-0.8134,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,9,12,1,1,4,0,9,3,0,0,0,19,20,16,0,1,6,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,4,2,0,8,0,0,1,4,7,0,1,4,4,14,5,9,14,0,15,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,3,12,60,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451698106480052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281316896019304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431752189066253,0.0,0.17103428613940153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5254404431008052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284147655531543,0.0,0.1311879133641856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149158703865003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134927191218176,0.0,0.08849056121650621,0.0,0.12453126121310755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4972516003927216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692010064131629,0.17564166772117232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550952483912576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442488290656716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638305631745524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15588755349438888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976927564916616,0.0,0.0,0.09079265449594144,0.0,0.14758983616822094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148671373357602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404992607158882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026871274507183
mentalhealth,ttliked,2019/01/29,"Trying to be too efficient First time poster here.

The title is not 100% correct, but I didn't know how to put it into words better. Also not sure if it's disorder, but it's negatively impacting my life and I want to know if somebody else has this mentality too.

Problem: attitude that resting is losing time and I'm not active enough. I don't watch movies or TV in general because I feel uncomfortable ""wasting"" these 100 minutes, even if the movie is good, but I can play video games for 10+ hours straight without feeling bad, as then I am ""active"" and ""doing something"", as opposed to passive movie watching.

Also it's hard for me to go to sleep, I like sleeping but I don't like going to sleep and deciding that it's been enough of being awake. I'd rather scroll reddit or facebook 3 more minutes knowing I will find something funny/interesting, than have 3 more minutes of sleep. Of course, these 3 minutes become few hours, and even if I have to wake up early next day, I will still delay my sleep.

I googled a bit and found ""efficiency disorder"" or something like that, but it's not it, I am not being extremely productive and hardest worker/student out there. It's just that I don't like to rest because I feel like I'l losing time, I don't like watching movies because I'm not being active enough, I don't like long calls, even with the person I love the most, because I'm not doing anything in that time.

I don't think it's internet addiction because if I hadn't access to internet, I would prefer reading books over going to sleep.

Any opinions, advices? Does anyone else feel like it?",6.269971600993964,6.223735210862621,6.723935037273698,77.82681132410369,65.90095846645367,9.128079517216898,33.68281860134896,8.680891452615391,2.7311442669506567,1263,51,236,17,18,412,159,313,0.107,0.7170000000000001,0.17600000000000002,0.9742,0,0,3,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,4,13,17,0,0,5,0,27,10,7,1,2,57,44,26,0,10,23,0,5,8,0,3,2,0,0,1,18,10,0,2,12,6,0,4,17,4,0,1,4,8,24,13,27,33,10,25,0,2,3,1,4,7,0,10,22,153,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100719248364393,0.0,0.08157718713053375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352030235001172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05677030463008768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837222838777061,0.08553669517571072,0.06869818794981965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970359239835774,0.2544478360438749,0.09219879355333953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383263121564047,0.09114021168387816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524397821665093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053838682042954805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191354136906297,0.0,0.07305525143941817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947621614832845,0.0,0.0,0.25877621648684285,0.0,0.16541629414354314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884308416913987,0.11927844663196455,0.0,0.0,0.07630060807614257,0.07100934868074528,0.0,0.09153319118249996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233343582191346,0.0700203484923486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478305544719101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644249863737932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376378006729539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896547506661735,0.32627887871733835,0.0,0.0,0.07387852902590453,0.0,0.18678896166564385,0.0,0.0,0.07534534218743266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412974943668076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878355661952783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289285392322814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988055193094132,0.0,0.0839219976598056,0.0,0.0,0.08350412353288136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5012509296531235,0.0,0.0,0.1928044861817675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666845948807497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868035617723733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349159502584536,0.0,0.0,0.1947150111702345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667848052242589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049239570649817516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804732180384247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059302885304432326,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Qahnaarin_112314,2019/01/29,"I don’t expect a medal for trying but not being shit on would be nice Just venting. I’ve been dealing with MDD for 4.5 years, GAD for 10 years and PDD and PPA on top of that for the past 8 months. I’m medicated, I go to therapy and I self medicate with cigarettes (yes I know it’s awful). I’ve been raising our daughter alone for the past 6 months because my husband is overseas. I spent my entire pregnancy alone as he was gone overseas shortly after we found out. I take care of 6 rescue dogs and a cat as well. I have no family nearby, none that would come to help if I asked, and all my friends I made beforehand have moved. I’m completely alone with this. But I don’t entirely mind.

I don’t want a cookie for doing what I have to do or doing what I “signed up for”. But I don’t want to be shit on and told I’m not doing enough from someone who doesn’t know me. Telling someone their best isn’t good enough is a wonderful way to get someone to just give up entirely. I was in a decent place for a while. I felt good about my progress. But then I see a giant mom shaming post and I felt like everything I’ve been doing to worthless. I’m questioning if my daughter would be better off without me. She’s behind (not technically behind but close to it) on some milestones and now I feel like a fucking failure. The whole post was about how it’s basically the parents fault when that happens. I swear I’m doing everything I can I help her. The only “selfish” things I do is eat once a day, smoke during her naps, and sleep. I rarely even shower. I don’t want credit for my efforts but ffs please don’t shit on them. I’m fucking trying.

Adding that I’ve left a message with my therapist and with my doctor (in regards to my medication and considering an increase in dosage) to call me back tomorrow. Thanks for reading this vent. ",1.8795136778115484,3.8385359787234066,3.4752462006079057,89.28100000000002,78.84042553191489,6.424802431610942,24.040729483282675,7.447530270364453,1.040062097264438,1432,50,303,20,35,474,193,376,0.086,0.685,0.23,0.9959,2,3,2,0,0,0,38.0,2,0,2,6,10,21,5,1,16,2,35,11,4,2,1,56,67,26,0,9,15,5,3,2,1,3,4,0,1,1,13,20,1,0,8,2,2,5,14,9,1,0,13,4,44,12,48,47,8,40,0,1,1,2,26,18,5,6,16,197,57,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820516107958285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486388762985038,0.0,0.0,0.0698016190140471,0.0,0.05533658621505555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526446431992366,0.08028454527796014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269308050013522,0.0,0.09255281607705668,0.0,0.0,0.07819602194439619,0.09517756107293036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05854341142954767,0.09358671129728466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929137191551831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288714671788184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18759303330003388,0.0,0.0599571026984538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16316834909234168,0.0,0.08557612031222428,0.0,0.04589938761716578,0.06485083689716936,0.17431958559691932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953188056463133,0.0701337929785865,0.1678430485740646,0.04742703832980925,0.08708120748096831,0.05159044623253855,0.1522782473373821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027346704310179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169131247946002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977691487848787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862906541537413,0.0,0.0,0.0886977444130256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858950346263991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743436894499173,0.0,0.0,0.09165851071724944,0.10631648256035947,0.1449140672470524,0.0964811831178485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667413980504597,0.0,0.06903971158474477,0.0,0.0,0.10079669604570657,0.0,0.17331311458202173,0.0,0.0,0.09484224917431797,0.09964547125162747,0.0,0.0,0.17387782180630218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169059184958087,0.0,0.09080118744639587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233721484774294,0.0,0.09469981439504624,0.0,0.2795426939737669,0.0,0.0,0.09084217979405408,0.0,0.23074421172631726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825272245646688,0.0,0.07934276877244271,0.08357491731681843,0.10381097852180368,0.1053986547533368,0.06030795404304429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674095247080632,0.0,0.1232627352125232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062721079613226,0.0720542572422479,0.0,0.0,0.08161908501498481,0.0,0.0,0.10134885664659728,0.0,0.08750542423985072,0.09844337429111512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345532328782009,0.0,0.0,0.11691433668330213
mentalhealth,oqowa,2019/01/29,"How to forget someone (a girl) when you're INTJ? Hi guys, so first of all, I really need help, so I'd appreciate anyone reading this and giving good advice. Secondly, the whole story might be long, so I'll try to write only important things. Briefly, I liked a girl, she liked me too (this one I still don't know for sure and it's killing me, my brain keeps asking this question). We did things that in my culture are considered as things only couples do — not sex, but making out and this type of things. But all the time she'd say that we're not dating yet. And then, obviously, we separated because she didnt like me being too possessive and trying to make her to jump into relationship. She's ESFP btw and I'm INTJ. Now few important things about my story. First of all, I met her right after my ex (that one lasted 1-2 months) broke up with me and I was feeling super shitty but right after meeting this girl, I completely instantly forgot my ex. Secondly, I'm an international student in the US and have just 2-3 friends. All my really close friends are gone. I have just 1 guy here who I more or less can talk to about my situation. I have already called local campus psychological service to make an appointment but I need to wait a week until the appointment. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this week. I'm working as a grad student and need graduate this semester, this story completely fucked up my motivation, focus, pretty much everything. I still can work out though, thanks God. Especially, weekends suck a lot, as I think whether I should go out or not and try to bump into her. And I've tried all the things I sent her messages on different social networks, but this last weekend was the peak of my depression: I saw her with some guy, went and said hi and told her that I still think of her and asked her if we can start talking again and she said ""yeah but as a friend"" and then asked if she's dating that guy and she said they started dating like a month ago, but apparently it was a lie because later I found out through her sister and through someone else that she doesn't have a bf.  

Now, the question is why the fuck I can't accept the reality that she doesnt want anything with me and move on? Why my brain keeps analyzing and trying to find excuses to everything trying to convince me that I still have chances? I always thought once I know that the person genuinely is not interested in me, it will be very easy for me to move on. But now I see completely different thing, I see how pathetic and desperate I am, almost lost my self-respect. And keep",4.35552517361111,5.431530863281252,5.35197916666667,82.02288194444445,70.4453125,8.657638888888886,28.089409722222214,8.998388855275968,2.1254946180555554,2030,71,409,38,36,668,245,512,0.112,0.775,0.114,-0.6306,3,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,4,0,1,7,24,21,4,0,21,1,31,5,2,7,7,96,80,50,1,7,19,3,1,4,4,4,0,4,0,8,29,35,0,5,13,3,0,7,10,7,0,6,18,8,67,14,48,54,12,59,0,3,3,3,65,18,3,10,38,276,96,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591639316994652,0.059794921631185174,0.0,0.067546590167102,0.0,0.07443843685640626,0.0,0.05612808961487328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04716621021091863,0.0,0.05550984198213756,0.0,0.1891843821146552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224006829297699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060451525442173,0.06887925143224237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121763283023184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746378419142759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809902298594043,0.0,0.0,0.14095255205738247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056350123269011926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124868094009347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034107351306164664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616527862502202,0.11475463450074964,0.0,0.07396109170117783,0.1563470477322796,0.12472240086864085,0.035242532454197166,0.06470912772281992,0.03833631699776576,0.05657818053634235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671648203486559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04521376603391701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987171360139684,0.07462913061962186,0.0,0.1112147611768947,0.1099699028842014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182071856784708,0.0,0.0,0.05969568622532336,0.0,0.0,0.07363526603776031,0.05734795743028975,0.0,0.0,0.1350805119048881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155925569768604,0.0,0.0,0.10768411644237066,0.14338830114605605,0.049587297706848825,0.15005141994030238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183753465414061,0.09141871257025944,0.10260536444353456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889923626313135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862613945357396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113041462227808,0.0,0.0674734056384861,0.0,0.08642699444249229,0.0,0.0,0.07242158812831101,0.0,0.11521266131129218,0.19249588792877315,0.05364304377844397,0.0,0.0,0.10750604430281184,0.0,0.07037043424501957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582241633984785,0.0,0.06876203193970634,0.11430906162054087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549020658322076,0.0,0.2154790839070623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357568181692062,0.0,0.0,0.1084357909450441,0.0,0.062103640446878924,0.0,0.0,0.3136994363805002,0.08644507448802269,0.06627434367999742,0.053551855331818964,0.039333641192635854,0.0,0.0,0.06445628780996372,0.0,0.2747857192290717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114024150008746,0.0,0.0,0.055657564311090806,0.03978679594920589,0.0,0.10821690710825996,0.0,0.0,0.06253160107468128,0.12173556417113852,0.07531126748259355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821630709084186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PreservativeAloe,2019/01/29,"Currently tapering off of Zoloft, Depression has hit me so hard that I don’t know what to do. Like I said, I’m tapering down from 150mgs of Zoloft and am currently at 50mgs. Shit has hit the fan and the last three days i have been so depressed I can’t even handle it. 
The thing is, I wasn’t in it for depression. I typically just have OCD and generalized anxiety disorder, so this is new and fairly worrying. I just feel so lost and don’t know what to do. I’ll be calling my psychiatrist in the morning... 
Has anyone else experienced this??",3.06111111111111,4.817448814814816,4.823333333333334,81.855,74.74074074074073,9.614814814814817,26.814814814814817,9.994966539143718,2.687325925925926,424,16,89,13,9,144,67,108,0.235,0.7240000000000001,0.041,-0.97,2,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,1,0,4,0,16,3,1,0,0,11,24,9,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,4,4,9,1,11,17,0,10,0,4,0,0,2,5,1,0,6,61,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524626620503552,0.0,0.0,0.15103849007601503,0.22132671035972296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22056930347742384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930791179379073,0.0,0.5581446124745086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24756498686438094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804477717435657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267188348220913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922062253334844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350160324496105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374257549660589,0.17607613597912905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553106876824037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357993010028688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20862280345255926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20547399030357272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217300973970992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350675741544008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193675882501318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,11LeRichard11,2019/01/29,"Why do I experience mental pain alongside my tics? I developed a tic disorder (mostly blinking and grimacing) two and a half years ago as the result of benzodiazepine withdrawal. My tics coincide with thoughts or feelings of shame, embarrassment, or social discomfort. The problem is that often the tics bring about extreme mental pain, which can leave me very depressed. The feeling is so intense sometimes, but the pain isn't physical - it's mental. I can't find any information to explain what's going on. Any help?",6.873904761904763,9.206604422222224,6.993174603174605,67.825,65.8888888888889,10.031746031746033,37.3015873015873,10.290406445055957,4.593825396825396,418,22,61,11,7,134,68,90,0.229,0.695,0.076,-0.9158,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,3,7,0,6,3,0,1,0,16,12,7,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,8,0,2,1,2,6,0,7,11,1,5,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,4,2,40,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14950103452582966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293801468460969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526089849088558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329137085478912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649753556785202,0.0,0.0,0.17055242037638765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414612268679168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958495954962008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304479732529807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17857956479632353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098887809125016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5383772226161799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137849577748767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719208693756838,0.0,0.0,0.16680249313494727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389193520924456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474983397400553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915669118222146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218343201807122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860723929669458
mentalhealth,sadhoe101,2019/01/29,"Tips on my depression? Please read!! I’m a 13 year old girl, who just started junior high. And let’s be real here. I don’t think any 13 year old should feel like this. Anyways, I’ve been diagnosed with- Anxiety, depression, and OCD. Which I am taking meds for. But nothing is seemingly to help. I’m constantly worrying, overthinking, negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts, depression,and mood swings. 
I as well believe I may have borderline personality disorder. I’m not entirely sure, I’m not one to assume. But after some research, I do in fact have all the qualities to a borderline personality disorder. 
Such as; constant mood swings, I mean yes everyone has mood swings. But as scary as it sounds, my mood changes every 7 minutes. My mindset goes from happy, to sad, to any other emotion, within seconds.
I as well have a unstable self image, as I think certain ways of myself, even though they’re entirely not true. Sometimes I’ll even convince myself that I’m “stupid” or “overweight” or “ugly” or even the stupidest of things.
As well, I constantly feel isolated and bored and empty where ever I go. And no matter what I do. 
I as well don’t really feel any empathy for others, I mean sometimes. But for the most part, I genuinely don’t care. Even though I wish I did.
As well, if I’m in a relationship, I tend to go from loving my partner, to hating them. And basically convince them to hate me, and convince them to say things. So they can hurt me. So I’ll have a reason to get mad. 
I as well from time to time go manic, I will freak out. Usually every 4 months. The last time I had, I had squeezed my eyeballs almost out of my eye sockets, hit my head against walls, screamed, punch myself till I was bruised. Anyways, should I see my psychiatrist? 
And overall, I wish I could be like others. And actually be happy, and not feel these emotions and ways:(
Here are a list of BPD traits, that I have).

Having an unstable or dysfunctional self-image or a distorted sense of self (how one feels about one’s self)
Feelings of isolation, boredom and emptiness
Difficulty feeling empathy for others
A history of unstable relationships that can change drastically from intense love and idealization to intense hate
A persistent fear of abandonment and rejection, including extreme emotional reactions to real and even perceived abandonment
Intense, highly changeable moods that can last for several days or for just a few hours
Strong feelings of anxiety, worry and depression
Impulsive, risky, self-destructive and dangerous behaviors, including reckless driving, drug or alcohol abuse and having unsafe sex
Hostility
Unstable career plans, goals and aspirations

—
Please leave advice. I really do feel like ending it all. and it’s hard on me, I’m only 13. And things can only get worse for me.",4.761972386587772,7.238017820512821,5.677767258382641,74.42300197238661,71.97830374753451,9.555976331360947,31.976725838264297,9.941947471260946,3.763993767258384,2213,105,368,64,45,725,255,507,0.249,0.621,0.13,-0.9972,0,1,2,0,1,0,90.0,0,0,4,5,26,46,7,1,15,1,35,9,2,2,7,84,76,49,1,7,18,0,11,3,1,4,4,3,0,7,19,24,2,2,19,1,0,4,9,19,6,4,7,16,46,22,55,59,6,38,0,8,2,3,18,11,0,14,24,244,65,5,0.0,0.07172817377119617,0.05907680252950809,0.0,0.0,0.05915748081128702,0.0,0.06469720100879821,0.06062052123173608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350468280175515,0.0,0.092623509806791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820611165966241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762460689877882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172299292018199,0.0,0.12808332355025026,0.0,0.0,0.19626170024388045,0.0,0.04833503289852308,0.0,0.0,0.03904229738596827,0.0,0.15642505629444847,0.061445260856521536,0.0,0.0,0.13876463605053194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020539194701787,0.0,0.0,0.20429285202313496,0.053619105293120264,0.0,0.0,0.1999254037980957,0.05476050143034073,0.10201252425098052,0.057847091230459335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812259628802603,0.2754905714720417,0.08649737342058315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325769166480688,0.0,0.1032162028946426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888862915057128,0.054230567677550544,0.1793075827856853,0.06212992356807311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040577652506887565,0.12792440998555638,0.0,0.0,0.05961818688807835,0.0,0.06480767170324242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986938469603239,0.0,0.06410148628321513,0.0,0.061904675224394724,0.0,0.0887280984386779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927664440159618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188825710585672,0.06724457975997539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04832121984963508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05808828347629865,0.0,0.1270498566556414,0.0,0.12306727828821998,0.09208445101894568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555725091620168,0.0,0.0,0.10571969343202096,0.0,0.13290609572531534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055484087304114,0.13781203821593058,0.07756497313387659,0.06224361780503476,0.0,0.12999129667115453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04814261188109397,0.0,0.0,0.04824131332963014,0.0551119387767187,0.3157740748040279,0.06839122629923314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974816645892095,0.0,0.042849432379047904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621924759788474,0.0,0.05705678051061396,0.0,0.04551738654236336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065718510381153,0.07758119929394232,0.1189574558311128,0.0961215473678342,0.10590138562764867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667455901559906,0.0,0.0,0.09610522074075983,0.0,0.0,0.3265880663644426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923247877681932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295948603381515,0.06169386095946881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779695646360793
mentalhealth,Cewells14,2019/01/30,Im screaming inside It's just been a really hard day.,-1.5524999999999984,0.3374487500000036,2.4833333333333343,87.94500000000002,103.16666666666666,5.7333333333333325,14.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.36903333333333377,43,1,9,1,2,16,12,12,0.38,0.62,0.0,-0.5095,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857181278569212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5357705472711409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6460390901224446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38315132852842587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,turkeyloaffff,2019/01/30,"THEY ONLY CARE WHEN YOU ARE IN PHYSICAL PAIN I need to rant. 
WHY people ONLY care and take you seriously when you’re in physical pain?? 
Physical: “ya my head really hurts” 
‘OMG hope you feel better!! Can I do anything for you?’ 
Mental: “ya my head really hurts” 
‘Get over it, try harder, oof anyway...’ 
UGHHHHH
",2.32454022988506,4.759223637931036,4.862758620689653,77.4164367816092,79.86206896551724,8.694252873563219,20.011494252873558,9.2995712137729,1.9940252873563216,233,6,43,7,6,82,41,58,0.249,0.58,0.17,-0.7308,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,5,1,1,2,9,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,4,10,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,10,4,5,10,0,5,0,2,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,22,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468836190044485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624963653902405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833084432427581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504639382708692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820978442556713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38583553964186856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867027397269159,0.0,0.0,0.40246473113968295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894357553791808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938193974604976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28592867825269425,0.4000397720566552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031899995019305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24084468117545815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413346773267644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762347259325854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16961924529274947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leftoctober,2019/01/30,"Research project regarding mental health stigma in film. Hi, I'm doing a research project for my AP Research class and I need participants to take a questionnaire for me. It takes no more than 8 minutes and would really mean a lot to me. Mental illness in film and television is often inaccurately depicted and I would like to find contributions to the stigma surrounding them. Thanks! tinyurl.com/bigdepresso ",6.434223602484473,9.829905797101448,6.210807453416147,68.09086956521742,70.73913043478261,9.739958592132506,33.04554865424431,9.957137785484203,4.310215734989649,336,16,48,10,7,105,49,69,0.071,0.846,0.083,0.2003,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,11,10,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,9,8,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,1,32,7,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420074990783142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814526845565623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935993799954593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22510962762699924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884270664361149,0.0,0.0,0.5336793709150643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963337538145881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962721435649808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981687698462905,0.0,0.0,0.2437772503453456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37618947797458596,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WomanSniffer,2019/01/30,I’m really struggling to function after a heartbreaking injury. I have been playing baseball since I was 3 years old and it’s the only thing I’ve ever known to do. I am a junior in high school and was being highly recruited to a few D1 schools... all until I blew out my UCL while pitching. I got Tommy John surgery 2 weeks ago and won’t be back to 100% for at least a year. The coaches from these schools have not responded after I told them what happened an I am never going to be able to catch back up to where I was at. My lifelong dream of playing baseball is most likely shattered and I don’t even know who I am anymore if I’m not a baseball player. Please help,3.3095683453237403,4.27868502877698,4.602223021582738,86.82434172661873,72.81294964028775,6.711079136690649,27.56906474820144,6.742157984588678,1.238072805755396,525,19,108,4,10,174,95,139,0.11,0.826,0.064,-0.7866,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,1,8,0,16,0,0,0,3,14,23,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,4,0,2,5,2,0,0,6,0,13,3,18,13,4,23,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,2,14,78,18,5,0.17641735911588893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563833444418879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495861548444888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713081191328484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652200186430445,0.1595796014047412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026205072519592,0.0,0.14109707811743696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560052880389049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824883709705145,0.3727892517821446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695436685756942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618861047901083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606394313538148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512034179807005,0.0,0.0,0.13417335127829866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936532831705869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301747767429515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5356313576957247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593426250734992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442972806321287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720385437532516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16857434683506625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151136415170654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22721399040062296
mentalhealth,StillHeMovesOn,2019/01/30,"When is it too late to text a therapist? You know how some therapists share their cells with clients and say you can text any time, including in case of emergency?

​

What does that really mean?

When is it too late to text your therapist, e.g. 8pm?

How do you think a therapist would feel if a client actually texted them, but did so late at night, in crisis?

And, if you're a therapist, how would you feel about that?",3.452065404475043,5.364970385542172,3.8198278829604138,88.7951807228916,74.06024096385542,9.080206540447504,23.9053356282272,9.606745405546679,1.931731153184165,334,10,72,9,7,104,56,83,0.1,0.8809999999999999,0.019,-0.8321,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,5,2,0,9,1,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,3,0,17,12,11,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,8,9,1,10,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,3,7,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.1274065778542469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146043011018186,0.15864326024918002,0.08878447665300497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425290577646162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320289274658169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175171468043816,0.0,0.4418281170600768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221683281373576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252061103335045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363932512603185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382561625050198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7579442812772242,0.0,0.08365682200667852,0.0,0.0,0.07612989958341262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854904838039821,0.0,0.15864326024918002,0.0
mentalhealth,superanalysis,2019/01/30,"Your experience with ECT? Asking for a friend as this has been raised as a possible treatment for them after medication/talking therapy proved ineffective, and I have only found conflicting information online, particularly regarding side effects such as memory loss, change in brain function, etc.

From someone who has experienced this treatment personally, was it beneficial? And did you experience any side effects (particularly those mentioned above)?",13.11352941176471,14.970885058823535,12.210588235294118,37.79764705882357,51.352941176470594,15.623529411764707,49.352941176470594,14.191785591663535,8.460341176470589,376,22,41,15,4,122,56,68,0.098,0.818,0.085,0.2824,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,4,1,3,0,0,2,0,6,1,1,2,1,9,8,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,4,1,9,4,1,4,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,0,1,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078124350463172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347784676571682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803510806636349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656688245161052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800832735674985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4913188308193118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753579061087097,0.19402722296103975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19100041426405012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192824631948984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831183575822773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212786906825649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20185378321960085,0.0,0.0,0.287196157800899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jupiter-Dejected,2019/01/30,"Was this sexual abuse? When I was a young around( 12-13 ) my Dad would tell me to come to his room and stand in front of him he would touch my chest my waist and my butt and tell me I needed to lose weight and my chest and butt needs to be bigger he would tell me that men wouldn't want me unless lost weight and had a better figure he did this a few time with and without clothes.. I remember being really scared when he did this and felt sick to my stomach after.
He would sometimes fondle my chest but not very long..be never touched below my waist I don't know if this is sexual abuse..I've never told anyone but I recently had a psych evaluation and it asked of any past sexual abuse and I put no. Ever since though it's been popping up a lot in my head I'm sorry if this isn't the right place to post this.
If anyone would tell me their opinion I'd be grateful.",3.0022491638796005,3.7747630543478254,4.038695652173914,91.31667224080269,73.34782608695652,7.183277591973244,20.132107023411372,7.321109707123232,0.2306535117056856,678,11,156,7,13,220,104,184,0.119,0.848,0.033,-0.911,0,0,0,0,3,0,14.0,0,0,1,3,5,4,0,1,6,0,19,12,9,0,3,39,29,19,0,12,8,1,5,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,9,13,4,0,4,0,0,3,8,3,0,0,10,5,23,1,17,10,2,24,0,2,0,2,16,9,2,5,10,99,32,1,0.0,0.2851915040154061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184251828654641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830384125579073,0.0,0.0,0.1071375279325702,0.11251154188954017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644030377824236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367136416099926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886398567300533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155554258991803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351441152860057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614152881449764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650647203998284,0.0,0.13464150941638042,0.1313768699099151,0.10231775544960987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784768534430783,0.18564356629183426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488824219527567,0.0,0.0,0.12574073600560667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526258328601785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098556935479204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709966037030169,0.0,0.1188316740312583,0.0,0.13633374101474385,0.10277873382916024,0.0,0.0,0.12049192132874287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955523966065456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902979645224472,0.13472261594231574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4207668303535403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824382930248532,0.0,0.07017738836440514,0.0,0.0,0.11500013232984327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993018288580806,0.07098588756195583,0.0,0.0,0.2931091564693783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601365999005805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4274679787785271,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,violetremedy,2019/01/30,"Doctor added Lamictal but I haven’t been diagnosed with bipolar disorder? I saw my psychiatrist today and he wrote me a script for Lamictal (I’m on sertraline and adderall.) He mentioned bipolar casually in passing but didn’t say if he suspected I had it. I talked to him about how my depression seems better overall (I’m functional, can get out of bed and go to work, etc) but I’m still always in some degree of a fog and little things can make my mood plummet out of nowhere so he recommended trying this as a mood stabilizer. I’m just confused about whether a positive response to this is indicative of bipolar disorder or not?",5.097166666666666,6.773521716666673,6.4250000000000025,72.74666666666668,69.33333333333334,10.333333333333336,35.833333333333336,10.504223727775694,4.293333333333335,506,27,88,15,9,171,81,120,0.157,0.759,0.085,-0.8484,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,4,0,7,5,0,2,0,22,17,13,0,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,4,7,0,0,2,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,5,2,9,2,17,12,2,10,0,1,1,0,9,6,0,5,2,58,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659389932327248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089598419395888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20349727835119108,0.2398070420702456,0.0,0.0,0.5415671843746493,0.2418303049667557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635012696504696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344027606743345,0.0,0.13427654666312905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368026013600042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771072167359532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788979315588136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21508950953373104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18868392643756846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990326514195532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696595778059452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22395443367974768,0.0,0.0,0.16041045993269815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720059146909215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotMyDogPaul,2019/01/30,"Pagliacci Not really sure if this is the appropriate place for this but here goes  
I suffer from depression and not so surprisingly, I'm also an amateur standup comedian. So I see the world through a very specific lense and sometimes it's a bit difficult to relate to people. All my best friends are either standup comics themselves or really appreciative of the art form. All very depressed. And I know that I'm far from being alone as a depressed standup comic. So I wanted to ask my brothers and sisters in the land of Sad Chuckles how much of your act talks about your depression as well as how it's received. Do people just go all like ""woah that's a bit too real? Do they take it for what it is? Or do they just think you're doing just fine and you're just making jokes? Thanks ",3.1852597402597413,5.372474928571432,4.17792207792208,84.70116883116887,75.68831168831169,7.5168831168831165,25.935064935064936,8.418075326091056,1.8185506493506487,625,23,122,12,14,202,97,154,0.204,0.612,0.184,-0.7132,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,2,1,14,17,0,0,9,0,8,0,0,3,4,27,19,18,0,2,11,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,2,7,0,3,2,7,1,0,0,1,10,10,16,18,9,8,0,6,1,0,10,5,0,3,1,83,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16896499559001296,0.0,0.130463891678609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251492120896365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120653643796432,0.0,0.3562156914091179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5620528172974628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604242168199326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271685592121356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965809095112323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970250879602114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088979618706304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992749165957108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262030171726221,0.0,0.17044774360553894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18569030636378545,0.20902475300105366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000234765463153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135073542282316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375857131648513,0.0,0.12266181621502585,0.13112664952061548,0.0,0.15019842109067766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453423990718363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26921701275883303,0.09622485717144492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668345591829288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pdayzee,2019/01/30,"I feel like I’m getting better Three years ago I was diagnosed with PPD and was prescribed Lexapro. After an allergic reaction after nine months I switched to Paxil. Three months later I (stupidly) listened to my PCP who advised me that I didn’t need the meds and should stop immediately. Within 3 days I was in full blown withdrawal. I had to slowly taper myself off for the next 10 months and then I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and put on Lamictal. That was a little over a year ago. 



Today I had my first appointment with my new psychiatrist and I didn’t freak out right beforehand, I actually napped for a few in the car since I got there early. When he was asking me the typical new patient questions I made eye contact, and generally felt comfortable. Answering the questions out loud and hearing myself say what I said, made me realize that over the last three years I’ve made some actual progress. ",5.116221322537111,6.8790634561403525,5.756374269005848,77.22068825910934,69.40935672514621,9.238146648672963,30.69770580296896,9.661875296680813,3.056603778677463,725,30,129,17,13,235,108,171,0.046,0.8759999999999999,0.079,0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,2,5,1,0,10,0,11,5,1,3,0,26,24,9,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,5,12,0,1,6,1,0,2,2,2,0,5,16,8,22,3,19,7,3,36,0,0,1,0,11,12,0,3,23,85,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.2646264602407563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403791654384816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675542405649787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991557146518725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744231673468791,0.0,0.0,0.2752356455126277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855679728842604,0.09686328968540064,0.13018466164351378,0.0,0.0,0.115330125531521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083854538292672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844120901980464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528162608493526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052139863023368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624089774773231,0.13589366742887052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848867348349164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060645084313154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246724471150245,0.0,0.0,0.10053594885695004,0.0,0.261901295090554,0.14419817841311286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630225744607982,0.3037766581863721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579044933270333,0.1289741660004269,0.10782412405000348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215886306688064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335669761794008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852050254054745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26194050387865064
mentalhealth,tea_amrita,2019/01/30,"We're not the definitions of our illnesses. We're people first. Little words can make a big difference. Something I've been seeing an increase of lately, mostly on Facebook but a bit on reddit too, are statements generalizing *all* people with mental illness(es) and lumping them in one kind of box.

I struggle with multiple mental illnesses. I've volunteered my time to talk to others struggling as well. I've seen and heard a lot. Some interactions end up wonderful, while others not so much.

A mistake I see happening a bit is that people, mostly those not afflicted, assuming their experience with someone mentally ill is what everyone else's experience is.

And lately I've, unfortunately, gotten in a few internet arguments about generalization and use of words with people that aren't being receptive to understand or learn. It's a bit disheartening as some of these people have been in position of power or very popular.

It is true you can attribute certain traits to a mental illness. How else would you be able to diagnose? **However, the same MI doesn't affect everyone the same way.**

This is where words especially matter. You *could* say, for example, ""People with bipolar disorder shouldn't ___ because ___ will happen.""

What would be more emphatic and truthful to say is to word it like this instead: People with bipolar disorder **generally** shouldn't ____ because **it is possible** for ____ **to** happen.

I find wording things the first way can quickly cross the line into ableism and offensive accusations. For example, someone on Facebook said, ""It is terrifying being around someone with mental illness.""

These kinds of statements do nothing but further stigma towards mental illness. When I had pointed this out to said person, they spat swears at me and that she has a right to feel that way, because someone with a mental illness hit her when they were having a PTSD episode.

It would be fair to talk about this in the sense that her fear being valid because of her incident, but it is completely unfair to make blanket statements as she had done. I suggested that she find resources to help her understand mental illness better, but they refused to listen.

I'm sure many of us on this sub can relate to the feeling of being generalized or unfairly judged due to stigma, and I'm not trying to preach. I just needed to vent because it gets exhausting constantly having to see sweeping statements of things that are not true. People tend to get fixated on the notation that having an MI can cause something negative to happen, while neglecting to see that an average person without an MI can also do something at any time that could possibly lead to something negative occurring **too.** We're all people. 
",4.417557725089104,7.598951133891215,5.216615527661553,73.4281946381528,77.41004184100419,8.143251200991786,30.81837904850457,8.894499427234473,3.464067286533396,2174,105,324,55,54,703,234,478,0.161,0.74,0.099,-0.9908,2,0,4,0,0,0,76.0,2,3,5,5,15,19,1,3,23,0,47,14,1,8,7,89,76,25,0,9,14,0,2,1,0,6,13,6,1,2,32,19,0,2,13,0,0,3,12,8,1,3,11,13,25,11,67,49,16,42,1,2,5,0,31,22,0,10,15,245,57,2,0.06059046281182655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845417121988642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04120359244754418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05393835782661478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846769187487302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358734052532738,0.1984472777946913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224309571887191,0.0,0.0,0.0635279474764044,0.06547676514332144,0.0,0.0967531085288249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149804433478146,0.0,0.06330413761572791,0.13888383938774818,0.0,0.0,0.06200508001586399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123111376181512,0.0,0.05366516584911928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579356752788073,0.0,0.11853819805647335,0.0,0.06818111581467552,0.061272717074733925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107571706424476,0.10307643343017478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331203208010039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143197846456875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04061251003062625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619128621378556,0.0,0.0,0.13669736237307345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029601439587365268,0.060727561423168215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151184474716045,0.0,0.0,0.08088920883909731,0.061429219242007935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4884874838830189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04454096179469658,0.0449270604360028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813818320176627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04105766569479628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780521807667648,0.105810510088377,0.0,0.0,0.05727757192551156,0.13661328587201504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082700861550109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517439241806356,0.11527081042083726,0.09636793590213752,0.0,0.0,0.1931310167494423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20535241006790808,0.18658199381891516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668461466162986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710579414147305,0.0,0.0,0.09740063776441353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805072223676801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066157224234154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04113694698679479,0.0,0.0,0.1261536172491005,0.07288286645571106,0.05233070590897355,0.0,0.04999347736635722,0.0,0.14428166737838616,0.0,0.0,0.05447810268988753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058407043974893165,0.06570777230332568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912517906864962,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,healingpie,2019/01/30,"I’m new to taking Adderall and keep getting overtimulated/mentally agitated Hey Reddit! 

I’m just your average college student with a diagnosis of ADHD and I’m struggling a little bit with how Adderall effects me. Affects me? Effects me, I’m sticking with that one. Anyway. I’m very new to the drug. I started taking 5mg dosage thrice daily in December, then I graduated to 10mg in the morning and a 5mg in the late afternoon if I need it.

I’m not sure what’s causing my agitated state, but I’m noticing I might be more prone to overstimulation and to having a hyperactive brain that I can’t shut up, but honestly, I had these problems before I started taking Adderall. I can’t tell if my problem is being exacerbated by Adderall or if Adderall is doing little to no help (and might help more with increased dosage/more time to get used to the current dosage) or if Adderall is doing literally nothing, and any symptoms malignant or benign occur purely from reading that these things can happen and effectively placebo-ing myself into feeling these symptoms. 

Also, I don’t know if this helps any of you figure what’s up with me, but I’m 18.
It’s hard for me to know if any of what I’ll read from you will help, seeing as you don’t know me, but I figured I’d give this a try. It’s at least giving my brain something to do instead of go wild flinching at and chasing down every little new idea.
 
Tl;dr
UGH. brain hurts. Heart won’t slow down. Pretty new to Adderall and my ADHD diagnosis. Don’t know if I can trust my brain/symptoms/prescription. 

Also, let me know if there’s a better subreddit for this. I’ve tried r/needadvice and r/askreddit but got auto-banned for too little karma and having a post too long, so I figured I’d go here for help/advice/venting.",4.7420380952380965,5.740156665714286,6.212928571428575,76.49348809523809,69.48571428571428,8.004761904761907,31.440476190476193,8.212053250817874,2.4177047619047616,1403,59,255,19,24,478,175,350,0.08,0.79,0.131,0.9668,1,0,2,0,0,0,44.0,0,4,0,4,11,10,0,1,11,0,23,7,4,7,2,60,54,33,0,11,18,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,16,17,0,1,13,2,0,3,8,5,0,1,2,3,29,5,38,45,5,33,1,1,1,0,12,15,0,13,13,162,45,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20237259003662905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466177694369624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176691404762726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164393249908722,0.0,0.0,0.0744638316490892,0.09191937585793357,0.0,0.0,0.3759588503383002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649168545204468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976397270992548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093810569484997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04257163393636602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797705674432754,0.1615354574460632,0.09570016968174193,0.0,0.06733861027063251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445355659786228,0.0,0.07542238112522384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977174324279904,0.2821714121396047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013272632703356,0.0950461571589783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483658169181365,0.0,0.0,0.2313574600894221,0.0,0.09497587750050873,0.0,0.0,0.0860953187134033,0.0,0.0,0.33754292457467644,0.0,0.07451012184300877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786356501843103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062429690146944085,0.0,0.3252650795557961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078758609552739,0.09585681808607928,0.0,0.0,0.05705286129579235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063574879615852,0.08565680932120669,0.0,0.16112691294040982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843601248874404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067092690999709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481759516464741,0.0,0.0,0.11918762271153235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801912659049346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935300015734856,0.1750221464946331,0.18991298575563756,0.0,0.07359033492671106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055935564203725655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04909491092422083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432605779472875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271763884311548,0.0,0.06946987563977887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Noji9999,2019/01/30,"How do i keep my mind quiet? Is it even possible? The title is pretty much as literate as it can get. I have a lot of trouble with keeping my mind ""quiet"" or calm. I guess content is a better word to use. I just tend to think a lot. I think much more than i speak which i know is sometimes seen as a good thing but it backfires so much.

For example, I'll think about something I said to someone or how I said it to someone and worry over that. I know that's pretty common with most people but I can't help but wonder how they handle it. I also deal with a lot of paranoia due to possible having a hyperactive mind? I don't know. 

I haven't been diagnosed with any sort of mental illness and I've had plenty of chances to see a therapist as a kid but I was never willing to actually go to a session. 

The only kind of thyrapist I've been to was my old elementary school counselor but nothing serious was ever brought up or handled there.

But back to the subject, I do tend to worry a lot; over so many things, big and small. I've had many people tell me not to sweat the small things and everything like that and I know its good advice to follow but I just don't know how to follow it. Not exactly.

When I start to think, I think about it all in so much detail. I look into every positive and negative possibility. Of course more negative than positive. I've gotten horrible panic attacks from this. I hate it so much. I feel like it's a barrier to how I'm maturing and handling different experiences.

I guess, what im asking is, how do I shut up that small voice in my head that's always judging everything? That's always telling me not to speak to people that I like speaking to out of fear of saying the wrong thing or saying too little or too much? Or bringing up all the regretful things I've done over and over? I know all of this is extremely common too but it's hurting me way too much.

Should I go see a thyrapist as soon as I have the chance to or is there a more personal way of handling this successfully? 

I also ship off to the army for basic training on the 4th of February. I'm hoping that the mental breaking process will do more good than harm but I don't feel so sure about it as much. I know there will be a thyrapist of some sort there but I really do not want to risk getting discharged.",2.5478374455732933,4.079167779874215,4.245408805031449,86.4094484760523,75.60377358490565,7.324173520399936,25.22867279471053,8.055295364500962,1.4203410095145943,1809,62,381,29,39,609,199,477,0.14300000000000002,0.737,0.119,-0.9538,1,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,1,2,31,23,2,3,24,0,34,4,2,7,7,87,78,46,0,4,23,0,2,3,0,4,2,10,0,2,30,14,0,3,15,0,0,6,12,11,0,0,13,16,41,12,67,60,21,38,0,2,4,0,15,19,0,19,13,277,71,3,0.0,0.0,0.06779781808629091,0.0,0.0,0.06789040622981528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111865811167676,0.11561794029090125,0.0,0.0,0.047245549628474916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494997645975799,0.07903812199808466,0.0,0.05342217565602882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061445209163994575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716259278883984,0.0,0.07051591215916518,0.0,0.07258684492667186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109729785907687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045887744688826886,0.06284433746111934,0.058535891124411765,0.0,0.12487974247361094,0.06796012175730679,0.0,0.07817896692012934,0.07025754366227313,0.04963312956199275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259589700893326,0.0,0.07896876661995313,0.1748176201230957,0.0,0.0,0.15306963216310296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685924218344098,0.07130164591557582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656779286009197,0.0,0.0,0.0690045953352707,0.0,0.0,0.07437468767098285,0.0,0.07504518759799716,0.0,0.0,0.12350558152423788,0.0,0.07234777747941044,0.2672724475336144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018262874684746,0.0696324482067232,0.0,0.0,0.05834170877903876,0.0,0.0,0.2362614784674016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087398956931152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002941425596224,0.0,0.21045057961713576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40857839736190604,0.0,0.05358359266108817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666337221118028,0.0,0.07290258359130118,0.0,0.0,0.05283905519124945,0.0,0.08151423180082877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444961633002296,0.060663104945993786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23496870275785905,0.0,0.14136260379038182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044507621547154125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217373706881186,0.11049900816426243,0.0,0.07031265797022172,0.11072555200435484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773230081262658,0.053485438557170965,0.06871279468530511,0.0,0.049174936644285294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547959706715434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144885434660505,0.0,0.0,0.08066611530899832,0.2307813314254833,0.22258466146757708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060004305844523376,0.0,0.0,0.04097830008098649,0.11029243279831114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534294057697706,0.0,0.14111096926649871,0.0,0.0,0.07596027499894671,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cultivatedcutie,2019/01/30,"Getting help Okay, so wow. The title sums it up. If you’re interested in a bit of my finding help story, keep reading. 

I’m 21 and I’ve got plenty things that course through my head. Lost my mother at a young age and grew up in my step family. (2 siblings same mom) (their father remarried with two more children) 

I feel like that’s normal for a young person but it’s gets to the point where I feel as if I’m on auto pilot. Like a mental road block when it comes to critical issues. 

“We’re not even gonna go down this road because who knows what kind of stress it will bring.”

I become very passive about things. 

“Well, I mean it happens.”

I want a backbone but I don’t want to be aggressive like I lash out to be sometimes. 

I want to be assertive. 

I have trauma and have been through counseling before when I was younger. 

I don’t have health insurance and it’s been soooooooo friggin intimidating to set up any kind of appointment anywhere. 

I finally did. Finally. I deserve help. You deserve help. Fuck, WE ALL DESERVE HELP. 

I thought I would be okay. Manage on my own. But wow. There’s so much more of my life I need to live and sometimes my actions don’t reflect me and I don’t want to push people away due to that fact. I am tired at 21 and I need help because I cannot live and love the rest of my life like this. 

If you’ve come this far, thank you. I appreciate your time. 

I have always been a good shoulder to lean on and always wondered where mine was. I have an amazing boyfriend but he doesn’t understand fully but is/has been holding my hand this entire way. 

I called, left a message for this psychiatrist and  she told me I needed a referral and gave me everything I needed to do to, to do so. 

She gave me her direct line and made me feel valid. There is help. Don’t be afraid to reach out. 

Idk what my intentions were with this post but it’s nice to write it out. I’m calling in the morning and setting up a time with the pcp for the referral!! ",0.623639667158205,2.9229853886138635,2.249469138403203,94.24497261428272,86.20297029702971,5.220476090162208,21.219507057088688,6.6644487293756285,0.35012930271750564,1523,51,335,18,47,496,204,404,0.086,0.715,0.198,0.9919,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,3,1,1,13,23,2,2,16,2,31,9,3,2,2,61,68,28,0,13,10,3,4,4,0,3,4,0,0,2,22,22,0,3,10,1,0,8,8,6,1,1,15,4,50,17,47,45,8,46,0,1,0,2,30,24,1,4,14,208,72,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545308790648327,0.0,0.0,0.06314674260430468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724331123497113,0.0,0.0,0.11321096205898636,0.10255455775473377,0.07901546679866901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137707601895612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18963715576614815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997818945871553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133194820133873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345493931686873,0.0,0.08753842233934732,0.0,0.14085564864436534,0.0663378981034924,0.0,0.20344318162541675,0.08487068882456805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584588562319555,0.09702912673469727,0.0,0.052773440236624426,0.07788503077657734,0.07426716455263624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821141766537754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529927617098777,0.09870389678341904,0.0,0.0,0.4356861369499554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691980840921227,0.0,0.08253661168125742,0.0,0.1933949977685259,0.05103242401316545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089067781719496,0.0,0.131176948964224,0.18146325359565968,0.0,0.16399093787387528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013656661848388,0.0,0.083808127515692,0.08786464951373245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011497738595326,0.0,0.0,0.09357919897838887,0.0,0.0,0.10875437117325308,0.0,0.0,0.06826144233366505,0.27541263785987186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098129492313713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437616595976592,0.08108017588377979,0.0,0.0,0.0877809889024713,0.0,0.08893246238081434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288330280218854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836782170484175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063687246524534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854913307867103,0.0,0.0,0.12338168947553547,0.0,0.0,0.07371901784615388,0.10829269608185747,0.10672681109448967,0.0,0.08872996466541189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070894323769577,0.09666863401744137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766177184954573,0.21908062773526812,0.0737064963778086,0.0,0.0,0.0834906502996984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070072870521438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596378262213681,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Iliterallydunno,2019/01/30,"I need an alternative I’ve been struggling with anxiety and Social Anxiety my entire life. At this point it has ruined a lot for me. I’ve taken a couple different medications so far (Zoloft, Xanax, Lexapro, Celexa, Ativan and Klonopin). Klonopin was the only thing that truly worked and it still does. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like a functioning adult.

 The only is issue is it has ruined my focus as well as my memory. I have stopped taking it for those reasons alone and am working on natural ways to improve my memory and focus. 

I know you guys are going to recommend therapy and I know that works but things are BAD. I have horrible fatigue (which somehow Klonopin completely demolishes) and feel like I’m ruining my life by being afraid all the time. I have tried every supplement ( Passion flower, you name it) and it doesn’t help.

Do you guys have any recommendations that work? I just want to feel better.",3.9869436416184953,6.4436700173410415,4.9286091040462425,78.98516799132952,74.26011560693641,8.255635838150289,26.41943641618497,9.017664075816787,2.4201910404624285,735,27,129,17,16,239,109,173,0.14300000000000002,0.716,0.141,-0.1153,2,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,3,0,5,5,12,0,2,8,0,16,7,0,2,1,25,28,12,0,2,2,0,3,2,0,0,6,0,0,3,17,9,0,1,6,0,0,1,1,7,1,0,3,3,17,5,11,24,2,9,0,4,0,1,9,4,0,2,5,85,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399061666489539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186167465223292,0.0,0.2066776059822022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278940228896045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947071962433795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163288431296545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946775043847155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113390965119052,0.0,0.0,0.11821281888644568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381400001130262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204907414619608,0.1930079101904642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767712853800534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675085698463512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054388128883392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409924810094144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484771419101713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19082748706665129,0.13199032662378196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484348916721752,0.0,0.0,0.09016954279791883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13608280352298086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016298977103576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30821214707498074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769793516887426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888873291943174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770101018476033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787816579397584,0.11293617728858005,0.0,0.14121900742399654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156627081791317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544801962316314,0.0,0.26923119425969805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876850019819223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171309140332802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967597582085034,0.10722330100923806,0.0,0.0,0.12145663636830915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3933707111763202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,someperson599,2019/01/30,"Free/cheap therapy for adults I'm about to turn 18 and want to seek therapy as soon as possible. I don't feel comfortable getting my mom involved, she's a detriment to my health more than anything, hence waiting till 18. 
How should I go about finding counseling? I would much rather do it in person, and have very limited knowledge on insurance and such, but I think I'm on Medicaid.",5.446486486486485,6.514033918918918,5.809027027027027,79.77516216216219,67.91891891891892,10.244324324324324,35.07027027027027,10.355215969177356,3.7575329729729736,306,15,58,8,5,98,57,74,0.053,0.93,0.018000000000000002,-0.3177,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,15,14,8,0,4,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,1,13,12,2,6,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20704228510853592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272146289967877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22995442416610126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144866192695548,0.0,0.1429879529546624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26743505987913063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29466649964849195,0.0,0.0,0.18495220060051587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196841502627652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28363698082856664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5754445017260218,0.0,0.0,0.16121272480055993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27366448388149656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20759326431250985,0.148397993154464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872676490284806,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,__dkw__,2019/01/30,"I snapped Okay so im 17, and am a senior in high school. I have been under extreme stress with school and wrestling. I went home sick today because i was feeling feint, dizzy, nauseated, and weak. I am guessing its because i hadnt eaten properly for two days because i was cutting weight. So i left school to eat went home and napped. I hate naps and they make me really angry. I wanted to go to my girlfriends house because she makes things better but my mom wouldnt let me leave the house for no reason. I started to lose my ming i literally felt trapped in my own house, i felt like a prisoner. I started hitting and throwing things, and screaming. I felt like tearing my skin off. This has never happened before but i have no idea why i snapped like this. My mom doesn’t understand any of this but i dont even know whats going on. Anyone have an idea?",1.7222545219638228,4.041108680232561,2.81806201550388,91.8779715762274,81.38372093023256,5.217571059431527,24.090439276485792,6.42735559955562,0.6592586563307492,671,25,138,6,18,214,106,172,0.199,0.7120000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.9619,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,3,11,2,1,4,1,14,6,1,3,1,26,34,12,0,2,3,2,6,3,1,1,2,1,2,0,7,8,3,0,9,2,0,5,7,6,0,1,10,7,28,5,13,21,1,18,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,1,9,84,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266631926202373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471679096492725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605557649897955,0.0,0.09092730519782194,0.0,0.0,0.09450619627338616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891382534358427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523542717470418,0.0,0.0,0.1093412298544191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057793870521148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403003180696739,0.0,0.3077979874024461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145841570388335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771486253787525,0.0,0.09449315563356858,0.0,0.0,0.10549901235502944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129001241880565,0.2143722573540057,0.0,0.0,0.36989535872420254,0.0,0.2412567439673883,0.1154237299376838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05872572777495653,0.0,0.0,0.11314597054355935,0.11610027536600895,0.10926836436368298,0.0,0.15661457158689068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954547726544952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426555483441758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25029889210081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241458681581547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845523149527658,0.1098666342240044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244344975815157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512676505610915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122404155563878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419818801216509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128779515325337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043836112107206,0.11124174474292302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06302693608003432,0.0,0.0,0.1301228504971819,0.0,0.19811473278459885,0.0964216826039042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mizzcece,2019/01/30,Hanging on by a lamictal So I’ve been on lamictal as a mood stabilizer for a little over a year. Started at 25mg and I’m up to 200mg. Anyone else take it for the same thing? If so does it work for you? I’m feeling lately like it’s not working or that it’s time to increase my dose. ,-1.4984230769230749,0.3682595230769223,2.101826923076924,94.46504807692308,92.23076923076924,5.096153846153847,20.43269230769231,6.6274283507984215,0.2562692307692305,219,8,54,3,8,80,48,65,0.0,0.884,0.116,0.6868,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,6,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,12,5,2,12,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,5,33,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21940735640640088,0.32151214169124864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745973561853228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621290013410201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586602729082024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539657102767293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533006110265573,0.3144972812841867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221002460812031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23592897713565406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084663204401064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829718816356448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4568817422140974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020687151620824
mentalhealth,cassideluxe,2019/01/30,"Calling ANYONE and EVERYONE! I need your help! Please read! Hi, everybody!

I’m going to try and make this as short and to the point as possible.

I’ve lived with depression and anxiety since I was 14 years old. At 21, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and, just recently, I was also diagnosed with OCD. I’ve been in and out of the mental health system, and luckily I’ve found an absolutely phenomenal psychiatrist, a great therapist, and medication that’s done wonders for me. I also have supportive friends and family. I am stupidly, ridiculously lucky and — I think — privileged. My reality is nowhere near the reality of millions of other people living with mental illness, and that absolutely kills me.

I sat on this idea I had for awhile, and in Spring of 2018 my younger brother began facing thoughts of suicide. That was when I began organizing my mental health project with two good friends. We have created an Instagram (@bloomingbrainproject) to be a mental health companion. We are still in the very early stages, but we’d like to progress into educational videos and begin advocating for what we REALLY need in the mental health system — more beds, shorter ER wait times, more accessible therapies. In the mean time, I need your help.

Currently, we’ve been asking our followers Q&A’s regarding their mental health to create educational posts. We post their answers anonymously. If you would like to help us out, please reply and let me know. It would mean the world to me. If you have more questions first, I completely understand and I’d love to answer what I can. Just let me know. 

@bloomingbrainproject is our Instagram handle. Thanks everyone!",5.9493877551020375,8.522590700680276,6.49571972789116,69.4373755102041,68.8639455782313,10.554340136054421,31.82802721088435,10.621296500359557,4.155115537414966,1342,59,213,43,25,436,167,294,0.057,0.767,0.175,0.9891,2,0,0,0,0,1,47.0,8,4,2,2,6,16,3,0,11,0,22,11,1,1,0,53,47,23,2,7,5,1,0,2,3,2,9,0,1,0,9,27,0,1,13,2,0,2,0,5,1,3,13,0,35,11,34,28,4,35,0,2,0,1,26,14,0,5,16,140,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847794150958625,0.0,0.08703630038690642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061451368012241374,0.0,0.0,0.05616781577477864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509665269948854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202476068885535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842232950704949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837428129909418,0.16306423046928994,0.0,0.0,0.0920638478806681,0.0,0.0,0.08220432671755087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351536123197213,0.0,0.0,0.0757269124234214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832769837895597,0.0,0.08807646309924623,0.12412377610563692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04565274973301875,0.06737604753544073,0.0,0.08856286612170874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4269291785150608,0.0,0.0,0.1615282510331372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068152000762522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888719963153718,0.0,0.0882932956917784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642834302793242,0.0,0.07848925960669813,0.0,0.14186373318985135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249994417478851,0.0,0.05362014652373726,0.0,0.0,0.17500338393160067,0.0,0.0809228885702146,0.4857156628813342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868852456583031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429163949340981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568992622339718,0.0,0.0,0.1763539605986239,0.0759367496170977,0.09055873472712282,0.15386571085789474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998672194045562,0.0,0.08035061118228404,0.0,0.05146073301316419,0.0,0.07931507118785522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644887388131658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641507417814978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786674921128923,0.09115625319512537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395603377851817,0.09186306706156376,0.0932680129565564,0.0,0.05147149831169049,0.0,0.06377215237824854,0.09368082372442896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05453803187416028,0.0,0.07846963672652939,0.083625189793261,0.09662574364397293,0.0,0.0,0.06627973298508852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711323622069453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412665333126233,0.0,0.0,0.05172916055762182
mentalhealth,mashedpotatoed,2019/01/30,"Does this sound like anxiety? I have been struggling since May with what I think is anxiety. 
Everyday, I am very anxious and dread the upcoming events/tests/quizzes I have at school, seeing friends, interacting with or being viewed by others. It’s all day, every day, but especially in public places like school, stores, and even in the car. 
When I get anxious, I sweat, overthink, get an upset or knotted stomach, get heart palpitations or racing heart, sinking heart, and fidget or space out.
I’m so afraid to tell my parents, and I feel like I’m faking it! I have no way to differentiate whether this is normal teenager shyness or something.

Do you think I have anxiety?",6.6292073170731705,7.70637073170732,6.427388211382116,76.36596036585367,65.26016260162602,9.076829268292682,34.07418699186992,9.188382445141503,3.0643991869918703,532,23,93,9,8,167,83,123,0.205,0.7170000000000001,0.079,-0.927,2,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,4,3,0,11,5,5,0,1,20,20,13,0,1,7,1,1,3,1,1,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,1,4,11,4,9,17,1,12,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,6,7,56,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33598743531919995,0.3307812853784359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883213552792427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281158696439524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669600272817223,0.0,0.12334854820704012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402437927283892,0.10458838768562873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310849143765173,0.0,0.22946430804669105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5204551021149532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21457134225314628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14344118848499715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256018315037327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529571305509788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963297940667397,0.11666206686878675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110382262379735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270608629194563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304935722546728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796029561779862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18761477321206185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079556143141333,0.0,0.1162057261157902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,boredperson5162,2019/01/30,"I have a really poor attention span and can't focus in most conditions I have a really bad attention span when it comes to doing independent work, especially with things like English or WHAP where you have to read a lot. This is a problem that's increasingly getting worse and is now affecting how productive I am during school. It's bad enough that I barely do work at home because I get easily distracted, now I can't work well at school either for the same reason.

If there's the slightest bit of noise happening, I can't focus. It's too much for me and I get anxious, frustrated, and overwhelmed. In classes, during tests especially, people shouldn't be talking anyway, so I get even more frustrated because it's super disrespectful. Even when I have ear plugs in and it's almost silent, I can't focus because my mind easily wanders.

I'm not diagnosed, but I'm 99% sure I have maladaptive daydreaming, and sometimes daydreams are all I can think about. If something is boring to me, I daydream. If I'm reading something that actually interests me, then I end up getting too into it and thinking about it for too long. My mind can never get to the point and stick to it for more than a couple of minutes.

It also mentally and emotionally tires me when I do focus. Today for example, I had 2 classes in a row with tests in them. By the end of the test in the 1st class I was feeling a little tired. Once I got to the next class, though, a giant wave of mental and emotional tiredness hit me. I didn't even get halfway through the test bc the tiredness mixed with my usual lack of focus made it impossible to work.

If anyone experiences/experienced the same thing and wants to share about it and what helps them, it'd be greatly appreciated. This is an issue I'd like to fix before college, and getting diagnosed, therapy, medication, etc. is not an option for me.

TL;DR: My attention span is horrible and when I do focus I get tired. If anyone has input or advice, it's greatly appreciated.",5.085329861111114,6.342601526041669,6.458229166666667,74.09163194444444,68.89583333333334,9.543055555555554,30.88888888888889,9.816601858774405,3.1191534722222216,1582,64,283,37,27,537,190,384,0.098,0.8029999999999999,0.099,0.2935,0,0,2,0,1,0,47.0,0,1,2,5,23,17,2,2,20,0,31,7,1,5,3,56,52,31,0,9,11,0,1,2,0,1,6,1,1,0,21,19,0,0,7,2,1,2,9,8,1,0,5,2,35,9,39,42,14,33,0,1,0,0,6,17,0,11,16,203,56,17,0.0,0.0,0.08500434596379668,0.0,0.0,0.08512043221563259,0.0,0.0,0.08722556974396703,0.0,0.0,0.0696598292081892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840667084723366,0.0,0.121815166335808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454622332696181,0.1592997543227157,0.0,0.07412205920580013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509881970240466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503539060845849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963827821556514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682453985469554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596840641052304,0.15430276458611808,0.09000532366661107,0.09714787846685488,0.1726010291391434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0440441648168765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095906201096895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966781810001446,0.19207263303687486,0.0,0.0,0.07702886675434026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838631517627115,0.0,0.08737591594243824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091758953252743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511264042118638,0.08730459009959375,0.0,0.07708738856216807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405567398938921,0.0,0.08242321430496767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877516331690895,0.17556772637390358,0.0,0.17590746903081472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403402871771001,0.0,0.06718266718774107,0.0,0.09263980505974884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276663520257497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038936651314655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234473477390457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335010491480921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742621273649187,0.0,0.1116065787015359,0.08956100864285495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631486299832386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341192047612068,0.08615153608829874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209777954184456,0.0,0.0,0.07001370181988692,0.0,0.0,0.09961500763259808,0.0,0.11574069309138522,0.1116299261757531,0.08558266779409915,0.0,0.0,0.3003517411704489,0.08256771640642704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593659505716573,0.0,0.05137825516241505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832009574041071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25366116403369776,0.0,0.08876997529142887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,biologytrash,2019/01/30,"Actually Good Mental Health Charity? I'd like to do some advocacy work now that my brain isn't rebelling on a daily basis but everything I'm seeing is the fucking ""we're gonna talk about mental illness in spite of the fact that none of us has actually had a mental illness"" goodness. Are there any groups out there that don't suck ass?",4.250597014925372,5.686111970149256,5.662865671641793,78.3295223880597,71.08955223880595,8.345074626865673,28.32537313432836,8.841846274778883,2.2562262686567163,270,10,51,5,5,91,53,67,0.14800000000000002,0.621,0.231,0.5501,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,1,4,7,4,0,4,0,7,6,2,0,1,4,12,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,2,3,7,10,2,4,0,0,1,2,3,3,3,1,2,29,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.4003896372959133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395076494608916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290129728803843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843737608597412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896559858079544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441367558708818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21806269120121746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022493215244023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6202226852641239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16347636567738555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489016155331573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24676773992832585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935016014764588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KudzuClub,2019/01/30,"Not sure what to do. Diagnosed DID a year and a half ago and now I can't leave the house I can't leave. No one can see me in here so I'm safe and ok sort of.

I know I have to work if the bills are going to be paid. But I can't leave because people will look at me then and they'll know. And I know that isn't rational. 

I'm almost 40. I'm scared to leave the house and also scared to talk to delivery people. I don't want to talk to anyone who isn't my husband or my adult children. I'm scared to go outside or talk to strangers. 

I am in the US and have FMLA. I haven't left the house since Friday.  

I don't know what to do.",-1.175182648401826,0.369605089041098,1.460794520547946,101.9255296803653,87.15068493150685,4.715251141552511,15.212785388127852,5.6839178017228535,-1.0733400913242006,477,8,131,3,15,164,76,146,0.084,0.826,0.09,-0.3037,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,1,1,4,6,0,3,7,1,19,1,0,0,1,21,33,14,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,4,7,0,1,4,0,2,2,10,3,0,2,2,2,16,3,15,28,0,10,0,0,2,0,9,4,0,5,4,80,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044786685267388,0.0,0.12476606028759073,0.0,0.0,0.09964030588878248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712123309488336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595327383153802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646349725541536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162287765865594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4313051905997115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739013681971578,0.0,0.0,0.5277216189918759,0.13537518169497126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463023595866874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443026195502974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17275996855566045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742304876397078,0.0,0.09928780691654927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306806042662968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743135117215525,0.0,0.0,0.3004394388431585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498750453236079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349063468293897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070821829351748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023648761444077
mentalhealth,LilaBuckley1,2019/01/30,"[Academic] Schizophrenia: How to reduce the perception that people diagnosed with Schizophrenia are dangerous. (Undergraduate Students Only/Over 18/All Genders). 400 responses needed ASAP. Thanks You! LINK IS BELOW Hello,

I need 400 responses ASAP. I woud really appreciate if anyone would like to do take part in my psychology dissertation survey.

Thanks

[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScrE0VlqOLymQHbyPqiGKuqniIgfOvUYmpK8BYPxm4EPYtCnw/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScrE0VlqOLymQHbyPqiGKuqniIgfOvUYmpK8BYPxm4EPYtCnw/viewform?usp=sf_link)",26.11022727272727,34.95237827272727,15.411250000000004,-3.1831249999999898,38.99999999999999,11.477272727272727,34.14772727272727,10.125756701596842,6.309409090909091,515,15,29,12,8,132,48,55,0.051,0.754,0.196,0.8336,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,8,9,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,5,8,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,18,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21597900515730567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135109473966157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090521120994194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4580674209527706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344914734994511,0.0,0.21414140281406507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787911934150196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322424671812541,0.0,0.0,0.5687581181690485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21942246381144667,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PitifulBet1,2019/01/30,"My mind keeps replaying whatever I say after any social interactions. It's incredibly painful for me to interact with people. 
When I get home, my mind and body are tense. The thoughts of what I said keep popping into my head sometimes even for the next 2 days. My mind keeps playing what I said, however there is no emotion associated with, and there is no other kind of dialogue associated with the pictures playing in my mind. My mind just keeps replying things I said over and over and over again, exhausting me. I don't know how to stop. 
What can I do?",4.7903773584905665,6.428592707547171,5.719009433962263,77.65983490566039,70.0377358490566,9.450943396226416,31.174528301886788,9.827888789773867,3.0819094339622635,441,19,84,11,8,145,66,106,0.138,0.828,0.034,-0.8777,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,6,4,2,1,0,22,16,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,6,8,0,5,2,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,4,15,3,15,12,0,11,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,6,58,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709144977571691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225601348870942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259404108692639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406061582353194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458850078609811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691087274880668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143595032789493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846385281558226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.455335168494095,0.0,0.1333643671897359,0.07038348471473982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6465669334334414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620305039090969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362746616292143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887870600003993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3654694190495596,0.10184577061205673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055042440683426,0.0,0.0,0.12666371656892866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707158833567756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508348783353697,0.0,0.0,0.10167264177813376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SideSaladAndSoup,2019/01/30,"Trouble letting anyone in due to past events Past events taught me at a young age that human contact is bad and, generally thanks to a fairly dissociative and obsessive brain, I just sorta internalized that. Now I have trouble dating due to having trouble getting actually close to anyone. It took YEARS to open up to people I've known since forever. Since I'm an outwardly open and talkative person, this seems weird when i tell my friends about it, and when i do ask, the answers usually aren't helpful (not blaming them, they're just coming from a completely different angle). Any ideas on working on letting people in? I don't want to constantly seem unavailable

Yeah, I've got a therapist and all that",6.4075299145299125,7.8865013769230785,6.835641025641023,71.78158119658123,66.0,10.085470085470087,34.44444444444444,10.25414643259724,3.878649572649573,569,26,93,14,9,185,90,130,0.141,0.777,0.08199999999999999,-0.7119,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,6,8,0,1,6,1,8,1,1,0,1,21,19,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,9,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,3,0,8,2,15,14,1,27,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,3,15,55,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.16089551777800815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212156061578528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305707318677735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413711513343353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766485156552147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18405651603933984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202636214347025,0.1728696987487225,0.17817274309973455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722606763463143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738304625208274,0.0,0.08614107922282165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186666562248392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105131308867086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612531168097304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371944433903119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147862329025162,0.2286089795351599,0.14396365481680493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30019444335366524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727748136769152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441091826788016,0.1517959760330196,0.0,0.19143413101086484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318367308171013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158798777365884,0.0,0.09724833328413708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003193444002347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617495307724056
mentalhealth,PatronSaintLucifer,2019/01/30,"I'm incapable of crying no matter what now I dont know why but i have been physically and I guess emotionally unable to cry. The last thing I cried from was the ending of a damn video game and I'm pretty sure that was in 2015, maybe early 2016.

The closest I got to shedding a tear was a month or two ago and it was out of pure anger. And it wasn't even the tearing up part, it was barely the sniffling part of crying.

It's not like I'm not sad. I've gone through cycles of general sadness to intense depressive episodes and very close to cutting and/or suicide.

I've tried letting myself feel sad. I've tried watching emotional videos, etc. I've also tried forcing myself. None of it works, which really sucks because I remember feeling better after crying.",2.8028571428571425,4.975408476821193,4.011130558183542,85.51531456953646,76.81456953642385,6.433491012298959,25.355250709555346,7.447530270364453,1.3528085146641446,604,22,115,8,14,197,99,151,0.282,0.588,0.13,-0.9848,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,2,3,11,4,0,8,0,10,0,0,0,2,20,20,8,1,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,4,3,0,1,6,8,0,1,9,3,8,3,16,10,4,13,0,4,1,0,1,5,2,2,8,69,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089221526401572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826388608850872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490406398553417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867382915850522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6748675348017473,0.0,0.0,0.10583291151297683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400974702236408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764379037869707,0.10883165703089176,0.0,0.13703921143529124,0.08115843358060898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242595867266428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827515541783688,0.0,0.13536175790899418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752943149846916,0.10016033319399162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256490265139598,0.0,0.0600310027895995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234454492178278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807844418964146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661254494492884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250090581734029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871750663843602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919454523958913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344063912297577,0.0,0.11580916790520827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163334888280133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502741975130764,0.0,0.12003198921313687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138556168472797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087647028095607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945518533067097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zctatman,2019/01/30,"I think I may have a psychopathic personality, could someone confirm or deny? I’ve been studying up on psychopaths lately and think I’ve come to a profound realization that I have many of the qualities I’ve seen in them. These traits are as follows: (disclaimer/ I’m not trying to toot my own horn at all just trying to disclose all aspects of me)

I have a large ego that drives everything I do, I’m overconfident, goal oriented and persistent. I have trouble with empathy if I think that the person isn’t acting in a way that I find rational and can blame on their own “incompetence”. I have trouble seeing my own flaws and have to have them pointed out most of the time, but can realize them once pointed out. I have have pretty high intellectual abilities and am always in other people’s heads trying to figure out their motivations and predict them. I have lost all “feelings” since the age of 18. I’m very extroverted and get pleasure from human interaction and conversation, and am constantly making moves to appear to others how I would like for them to see me, often changing based on the person and what I think they want. I need to be in control. And I don’t really like to be touched. I’ve maintained a steady girlfriend for 6 years and I love her, but it’s not a feeling it’s in my head, I KNOW I love her because of the qualities that she possesses. 

I’m just confused cause I hit all the marks, but I feel that I would never do someone harm for my gain like the stories you hear. I genuinely love people and animals alike. What am I? Is this a common thing to have? Or am I just being delusional and attributing a false personality to myself?

I was thinking about some more examples earlier this week racking my brain about this subject but I’m sure I’m leaving many things out.  Thanks in advance.",4.926495726495727,6.231057227920227,5.921497435897436,77.61516923076925,69.31339031339031,8.920843304843306,30.849116809116808,9.281916038205594,2.7545962621082616,1441,59,268,29,25,477,183,351,0.047,0.7829999999999999,0.171,0.9947,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,8,7,7,14,0,1,16,0,32,6,3,6,6,67,64,23,0,6,12,0,4,3,1,3,0,1,0,5,18,20,0,1,13,0,0,7,5,5,0,0,4,8,45,9,40,52,10,34,0,1,3,3,24,18,0,9,11,190,63,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836665407205156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473834861984731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855398243992545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909634125175592,0.11234519618030997,0.09148163404312508,0.0,0.1147641426191316,0.11911198876014452,0.08479181524729733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544543845018574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109327084885108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706459764680243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055484957627666136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179830522334756,0.0,0.11969477510034085,0.0,0.0,0.11220580898214566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836457524243659,0.0,0.11979788217013547,0.11245014342732804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565142048938735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592951276463902,0.0,0.2875481142962419,0.0,0.07088912134891684,0.21533964491496507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287346934746816,0.0,0.07874572850460493,0.08190775211366967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309920964224845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472509940350484,0.37091791092016585,0.0,0.0,0.20078607789949607,0.0,0.0,0.1080432697247437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680342442865101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925481506222242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784948549117103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799653146015233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009195611428663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777441116631544,0.0,0.0,0.14110871741220987,0.3402423833561059,0.0,0.0,0.06192589643640409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21630786618311032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762587085571928,0.06263933189963991,0.08429637503774444,0.08518698980135007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15088243322058215,0.0,0.0,0.0683891219585438
mentalhealth,userdizzydiesel,2019/01/30,"Coping with disfigurement in dating How does a woman who has an extreme facial deformity  deal with difficulty dating and resentment for men, with thoughts like ""men only care about my looks"". This eventually turns into inability to value herself with thoughts like ""my value, as it is precieved by others, is based primarily on visuals and as I get older that value only decreases"".


On one hand I can't tell her that men don't care because she can totally tell how things have changed. On the other hand, accepting that her looks are what prevent her from finding a partner makes it really easy to have low self esteem... How difficult is it to find yourself attractive when the world you live in doesn't reflect it..

She desires affection but she rejects the idea to protect her ego. 

A therapist is exactly what she needs, but what approach does one take to be at peace with her condition.",7.3998148148148175,8.25142416666667,7.626765432098768,69.23644444444446,63.50617283950617,10.924444444444443,36.57037037037037,10.793553405168565,4.284195555555555,713,33,116,18,10,232,105,162,0.073,0.736,0.191,0.9446,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,5,10,1,0,7,0,13,3,3,5,2,27,24,10,0,2,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,15,8,0,2,7,0,0,1,3,4,0,2,2,4,15,6,23,21,1,14,0,2,2,0,21,9,0,0,6,84,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307196669012396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34478457845945315,0.0,0.17886833021474846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17431806060431532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959328937505265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090792146766102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833935103881298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19087512478527047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521169054590418,0.0,0.14930416788801204,0.0,0.28397575644813616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128648059479177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253735579984791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291512323002403,0.257191826944413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831946613381914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639136749334672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713003849213267,0.0,0.2955735356797421,0.0,0.0,0.19631942219384885,0.11233181978585753,0.0,0.0,0.2684674350848974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839147128169099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StateYellingChampion,2019/01/30,"Are there any state-run mental health facilities in Southern California where a person can be committed long term? My sister has a severe mental illness and requires long-term care. But she's poor, I believe her insurance is Medi-Cal or Medi-Medi. Are there any state-run facilities that could take her long-term? All of the privately run facilities I've looked into are too expensive for my family. How would I go about finding a good state-run facility? The last time she tried to commit suicide she was released from the hospital psych ward after only a few days. I'm worried if she doesn't get longer-term and continuous care she may succeed the next time. Thank you.",5.055714285714289,7.050360603174603,5.9001904761904775,75.20314285714291,69.95238095238096,8.84952380952381,28.473015873015875,9.3871,2.7197358730158725,540,20,93,12,10,177,89,126,0.115,0.733,0.152,0.5775,0,0,0,0,0,2,18.0,0,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,8,0,12,2,0,1,3,15,20,6,1,3,3,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,12,5,8,15,3,14,0,0,1,0,10,3,0,3,9,53,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309549096698417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913190981904769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34626771870621714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558044404137254,0.0,0.0,0.10951419081679452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600829083988744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520438159354194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871935540990199,0.0,0.09650763143232596,0.14242959736145622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18050138950573452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841881129081482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.450832766590675,0.14259865941877134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422595458717553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805961623144337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291490872124364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827261015342305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191838347346348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18574591667819346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767690656118266,0.0,0.0,0.15633935944348495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19803657963969187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529067383534078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245153996857013,0.0,0.12062902082250986,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayfortrashmem,2019/01/30,"Why do I feel a void/ hole in my chest? To start, I watched this video on YouTube bc boredom.
https://youtu.be/mB_0FXiFHd0
To be honest, I thought it was pretty sad.
Afterwards, I began to feel an emotional hole in my chest, or, a void. I’m not sure what feeling this video triggered, but it’s happened with other things to, such as: the realization of a girl I like not giving a shit about me, and me thinking about life after highschool (am a junior and dreading being an adult), but it’s never been this bad. Going on 4 days now I’ve had this and have lost intrest in things I usually do. I’m not depressed obviously, and I don’t want attention, I just want help with this feeling of loss/emptiness.

**TL;DR** why do things make me feel a void in my chest? ",2.9827155394940625,4.939849026845637,3.84778523489933,87.8901290655653,75.51006711409397,6.4638100154878675,25.55549819308209,7.321109707123232,1.1448591636551373,591,21,120,7,13,189,90,149,0.155,0.7,0.146,-0.3364,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,1,1,9,0,11,5,4,2,3,28,29,8,0,2,7,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,13,6,0,0,8,2,0,1,5,6,0,0,6,6,14,3,18,21,0,15,0,3,1,0,4,6,1,1,9,79,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422976827362195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912624830277425,0.0,0.15909523213324914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077801311741492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4669886595870706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719598656062438,0.10497810356241816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334335040603204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381093920503915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047005531213754,0.09024268715154828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20163884246910646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329906364281372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246401914046972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792212029825667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896078571461472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074261667434406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17409221940169695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681504100564592,0.11835826564395167,0.0,0.14664351338995252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20343808137747588,0.0,0.2179000338408072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33335410554780154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the_quiet_one24,2019/01/30,"I feel like I'm being watched. About a few months ago, I started to become really sensitive and self-conscious to my surroundings. I hate doing stuff in front of people, because I feel like they are watching me and are always going to say something about me.

When I'm alone, I feel... how should I say... like there are other beings around me, wanting to touch me, wanting to whisper in my ear, wanting to scare or hurt me (NoN sExUaLlY). I feel like no matter what I do, somebody's there, and sometimes I get so scared, I persuade myself into thinking I can see non- realistic people.

It's freaking me out, and my parents think that talking to people will help. But will it?",4.813376068376068,5.896397961538463,5.564871794871795,80.89235042735045,69.38461538461539,7.316239316239318,30.5982905982906,7.3871296695380915,1.964726495726496,525,21,96,5,9,171,82,130,0.156,0.742,0.102,-0.8497,1,1,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,1,2,1,0,11,1,1,1,0,21,27,9,0,4,2,1,5,4,0,3,0,4,0,0,6,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,0,12,22,4,15,22,1,12,0,1,3,0,6,6,0,1,8,68,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322234205471326,0.0,0.0,0.15565432629118228,0.0,0.0,0.12505268590653112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378928549235267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916149248953602,0.16598265636999807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039630188206721,0.3220999861815993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851992419099901,0.0,0.08541283769373904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483795086064472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073570864939148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088773824052827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29369492224210697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199594363801554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687841389491806,0.0,0.0,0.3125749045246478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627913460106904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390320693515447,0.3009314919477916,0.0,0.11976106512353728,0.0,0.15678445268902824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156999983157343,0.14863989982733922,0.0,0.10637549659125556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720452217724074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079679710391912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259855131881806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659334602978286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ComplicatedKiwi,2019/01/30,"Deep sadness episodes?¿ what are these So I kept ignoring it and blamed it on my unstable personality but It’s been bugging me a lot lately and I can’t find it anywhere on the internet. Basically it’s these short repetitive episodes of deep deep sadness I guess, and when I get these episodes my mind just goes blank and I just can’t think normally, I want to die, can’t concentrate on what I’m doing anymore and I almost feel a pain in my chest bc of how sad I am, and they’re short and when they end everything gradually goes back to normal but they have become more frequent lately? Does anyone else get these? And do you know what they are??",1.3317151162790708,3.9121191240310114,2.738871124031011,89.78644622093027,86.44186046511628,6.325775193798449,22.79118217054264,7.6454224807358475,1.1963833333333334,513,19,106,10,16,166,77,129,0.21600000000000005,0.773,0.011,-0.9801,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,1,3,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,10,2,1,1,0,26,19,14,1,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,12,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,1,16,0,8,17,2,17,0,3,0,0,5,9,0,3,8,68,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19454717276193167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19267733517571076,0.1358477581729698,0.19906672405844705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14939225845296522,0.0,0.0,0.21457120545868533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20163592265418948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17001907250960482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229919437312956,0.0,0.17207779030675505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460976208905155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098235732560251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775718837650193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030105452539631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140255218792269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677330172074416,0.0,0.43832120306968697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517314869830907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617126530732149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807137693975108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067316732327297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964113013672294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448922143393625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459362561492825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,girrlpig,2019/01/30,oxazepam Prescribed oxazepam for panic disorder. has anyone taken it before? i'm too scared to take it.,3.5500000000000007,6.7072873333333325,4.450000000000003,73.84500000000001,92.33333333333334,4.622222222222223,28.222222222222214,6.42735559955562,2.2687555555555563,84,4,10,1,3,27,16,18,0.389,0.611,0.0,-0.836,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29894531234279303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.363804324326656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4899969026839762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5016250705157921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280412709257157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32145623061924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,a_fckedup_unicorn,2019/01/30,"I need somebody Im an arsehole and a compulsive liar. but I need someone to talk to. someone who won't take me too seriously since im a horrible person. I just need someone.

im sorry if this is the wrong sub for this but please. im going insane.",-0.5816442048517523,1.5920343396226393,2.947762803234504,87.41415094339622,92.39622641509432,6.047439353099732,22.66576819407009,7.447530270364453,1.2794334231805935,192,8,41,4,7,70,36,53,0.317,0.631,0.052000000000000005,-0.9343,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,7,4,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379719178379313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7130948758469291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3671297327385748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441083388373966,0.0,0.18116659304025265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365244767010182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4195187415658175,0.0,0.0,0.18475104579137505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409107045051075,0.1326545359077186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18044755634376647,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KlausSTheHybrid,2019/01/30,"my suffering with Perfectionism so in a nutshell . Im a student whose grades are considered great. I always score 97% 96% 98% .But sometimes I cant help but blame myself ... telling myself I could have done better .. I could have avoided this mistake in this exam .. etc .. esp when there are people who managed to score better .. In fact thats the main reason I hate school .. it causes me depression and sometimes discouragement ...

So I would like to hear your opinions about my problem :) :)",4.4175,6.957880908045977,4.5202155172413825,82.02446120689656,73.25287356321839,6.648850574712642,28.11637931034483,7.6454224807358475,1.886058620689656,377,15,64,5,8,117,67,87,0.228,0.56,0.212,-0.4465,0,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,2,5,11,1,1,3,0,9,0,0,2,1,15,11,6,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,12,4,7,7,2,4,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,46,18,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833465620674445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578461312889006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20782381420772109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323049485548281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424571417614074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702910226948693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256244765953509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22304289080291828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997351227470714,0.0,0.0,0.22801337255375484,0.0,0.1356013328327277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21852501130006116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883640924402877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025338922972175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19357935646518126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080040863197045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047442996583315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4001712758851394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682421163792014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371225656634226,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psychodelickitten,2019/01/30,"Here is a site that will help you find a therapist for $30-$60 per session. https://openpathcollective.org/

Not sure if it's for outside US",4.59106666666667,7.93123104,3.708000000000002,83.32066666666668,78.6,6.533333333333335,24.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.3947333333333334,116,4,21,2,3,34,23,25,0.083,0.8029999999999999,0.114,0.1872,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,13,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100621691964347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007237159105988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.422851643528044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5209225615797611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5396762330190649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aliclang,2019/01/30,"The manifestation of depression I’m not sure if this post is what this community is about or wants to here. But I am just writing down points about how my depression is displaying itself currently/always has done.. & I hope someone who reads this can relate. x 

- not brushing your hair properly for 5 days 
- being asked several times a day at work if you are “ok” because you don’t have the energy to put make up on  (or brush hair) 
- trying to communicate how you feel to people you trust and love but because you are frustrated and in pain, instead of talking you start shouting or ranting and then the other person thinks you are hostile
- lying in bed in the mornings because you don’t want to get up until you make yourself late for work
- not wanting to have any form of conversation with anyone
- pushing your loved ones away to the point they have had enough of you and your behaviour and want to leave
- forcing your pets to spend time with you so you don’t feel so alone 
- feeling like even your pets hate you if they get up and walk away
- feeling like you could burst into tears at any minute 
- feeling uncomfortable in any social situation where you just want to leave and go and shut yourself indoors at home 
- ruining (or feeling like you are) said social occasions with this behaviour 
- insomnia 
- getting upset over the slightest inconvenience (once my ex brought me a drink mixed with cola instead of lemonade (I never drink cola as a mixer ever) it was an honest mistake and i had a full on mental breakdown about it, told him he didn’t even know me, why would he do that etc very Irrational but when you are depressed you can’t see how irrational your behaviour can be 
- constant fatigue (I sleep 8-10 hours a night and I am still tired)
- feeling worthless and like you are not good enough for anyone to be with. 
- feeling like the world would be better off without you 
- nagging and moaning all the time without even realising (this is something I have become very aware of which really upset me, I constantly moan and say negative things) 
- lack of appetite and knot like feeling in your stomach. I am 5ft10 and a size 8 (Xs or S) and I have always had a high metabolism so when this is happening I can drop 1 stone in a week and look and feel awful for it
- pick apart anything anyone says to you and turn it into something negative about yourself 

Recently I am really trying to make big positive changes in my life. I take medication, I see a therapist, but that still doesn’t mean you and I won’t have those bad days, where everything on this list plus so much more happens.
Every minute, of every hour of every day that passes is progress. 
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mentalhealth,hahreee,2019/01/30,"Taking days off mental issues related Hi guys, I don’t know where to better ask this and need some assurance as well. Questions may sound dumb as well so sorry in advance.

How do you ask for days off based on mental issues? Can you say “Hey i cannot come to work for 2 days due to some struggles I am having mentally?” Is that really a thing or does it come off too strong?and are they covered by medical leave or is it different? How do I assure my manager it won’t be a regular thing? If I try to put myself in his shoes I would be worried and would think I’m unreliable..

Thing is I did a really stupid thing in stopping my treatment and it has all backfired on me... I am struggling getting these ideas out as well so I am sorry if I’m not making that much sense. I am from Europe as well.

Thanks!


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mentalhealth,atcloe,2019/01/30,"Are you a Headspace user? Hey everyone (new user here),

I'm working on research for a London university, and we're trying to understand the public's perception of mindfulness mobile application. We're focusing on HEADSPACE at the moment. If you have 3 minutes to complete a quick survey, it would be super helpful to us for our preliminary findings. This is completely anonymous and not sponsored/funded.[https://kclbs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_enAoW2y7ubb6hmd](https://kclbs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_enAoW2y7ubb6hmd)

Thank you so much",11.24903571428571,15.272455975,9.07464285714286,50.357500000000016,58.0,10.571428571428571,38.92857142857143,10.608840637214634,5.420482142857144,458,22,51,12,7,137,64,80,0.03,0.8759999999999999,0.095,0.6798,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,2,3,0,2,3,2,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,8,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,9,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,3,34,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5612084183112193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25573124689362825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446083142224945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938626559910295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702292811694012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967383152757016,0.0,0.0,0.25847802718955804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463970847179145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817027140786057,0.0,0.0,0.2786115198625876,0.32192507258942576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19483730393907267,0.0,0.0,0.1901161624868206,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fu7272,2019/01/30,"What are ""reasonable accommodations"" for depression and anxiety? I work for a public accounting firm and my coworkers know that I have depression and anxiety. They said they're willing to provide any sort of reasonable accommodation that I may need but it's hard to say what I would need. It sounds so cheesy to just ask for ""understanding and patience"". 

​

Has anyone asked for reasonable accommodations for depression and anxiety?",7.945251141552513,10.844436150684936,7.9056849315068565,60.0529566210046,64.20547945205479,13.085844748858447,38.19406392694064,12.161744961471696,6.181732420091324,361,19,52,15,6,116,48,73,0.218,0.782,0.0,-0.9254,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,3,0,17,13,7,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,6,0,9,9,0,0,0,3,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,36,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814746544513524,0.19978657424787652,0.11181027425327464,0.0,0.3773392967366051,0.0,0.0,0.11496529580629332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307418359520255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248404525464111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472867548189402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036015302446423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438285911665606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5071490600580075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563997234338145,0.13075225608249352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116554291499975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969868627569412,0.0,0.0,0.11679824360824162,0.0,0.19978657424787652,0.0
mentalhealth,jeremiah_808,2019/01/30,"Schizophrenia It’s been two years and I been on invega and now abilify. Just came back from seeing a neurologist. I’m going to try carbamazepine. I took an eeg but results didn’t come back yet. I’m going to try this new medication anyway. I may have been misdiagnosed. Reading up on Complex Partial Seizures has been intriguing. Also what carbamazepine treats is what I have experienced. 

Anybody here has tried carbamazepine?",4.0488,7.379937946666669,4.641666666666668,75.1425,82.86666666666667,8.333333333333334,28.83333333333333,8.841846274778883,3.3715333333333337,346,16,54,10,10,110,55,75,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,2,0,11,1,0,1,0,9,19,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,1,7,2,4,1,6,11,0,14,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,6,39,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957968365781748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765305727886525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800294127108229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109062321791726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782941218949476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466484970516739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236466037623286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24490422716556795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510416323635105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27202399402004995,0.4986867312174438,0.0,0.23917112086274575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157667625695437
mentalhealth,dont_tell_people,2019/01/30,"I don't know how to ask my friend for a ride to my therapist without making sound like I'm guilting him into it. A bit of backstory, I had finally found a therapist that worked for me awhile ago and we started talking and we're about to get me on meds for my depression, but I wasn't able to keep going due to lack of money. 
It's not been probably 2-3 months since I've seen her last and I'm able to finally go see her again. 


Anyways. My mental health has been getting worse even when I was seeing her it was bad. I have depression, I dissociate constantly, I have a fear of people, suicidal. Basically I'm a mess.

The other night I got the closest I ever have to actually killing myself and that really made me realize I need to see my therapist again (not that I didn't think so anyways). The problem is that I have epilepsy and had a seizure just a couple of weeks ago so I'm unable to drive for the next five and a half months. 
I'm wanting to ask a friend to drive me to my therapist, but he lives 2 hours from me and my therapist is one hour from me. In all it would be about since hours of driving for him. 

Not to mention I don't even know how to ask him without sounding like I'm trying to guilt him into taking me. I don't want to tell him ""hey I almost killed myself, will you take me to see my therapist?"" 
I'm conflicted. ",3.361265397536396,3.890283659574468,5.136718924972005,84.67026315789477,72.33333333333333,8.773721537887273,27.60806270996641,8.99025400887824,1.967663829787233,1040,36,230,20,19,357,138,282,0.199,0.779,0.022,-0.9948,0,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,1,1,0,1,15,14,2,3,13,0,21,1,0,4,2,38,54,14,3,6,8,0,0,2,2,2,1,2,0,0,9,10,0,2,5,0,1,6,10,10,0,3,12,7,43,4,37,39,3,31,0,2,5,0,20,5,0,1,22,153,52,1,0.16539140575584735,0.0,0.0806990770103008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660950205616838,0.0,0.08280780106270891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319279572746195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904745770124944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028228954342622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936467662436841,0.0,0.0,0.09150122233701563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245137542711042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923946365823974,0.07480299767142036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305565651159182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811782007374852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067156984268934,0.12778098981584685,0.0,0.08641018322889621,0.0,0.09399574733748936,0.0,0.06613930798770168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790166513382988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443158286618056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350374035592891,0.1829810856934247,0.0,0.09089479124448202,0.0674080350939428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080188660971119,0.0,0.07302182069671652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824867356153738,0.05520002381367069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185628348563828,0.0,0.08333781826405251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201384214826584,0.0,0.0,0.061317815850533974,0.0,0.0,0.08794781817296646,0.07760431519038624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603674845169315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733078801551227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915995438853443,0.07912861935555104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05297698480809045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635910741798428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681347994886536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853244412944121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045567689274826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435375391398645,0.06646767351572404,0.07227968927595371,0.0,0.0,0.5760965088720711,0.0,0.05298806729804133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561449539656079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755213625836197,0.0,0.06633350472076767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15943141314255896,0.0,0.06020345659619621,0.0,0.08427398612415082,0.0587446546688505,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,r7dioboy,2019/01/30,"How to stop being so conscious/ self aware about my writing Hello, so I've started a journal but I feel as thought I'm super aware of what I'm doing. Super aware of my thoughts and my actions, which many would think to be good but it's a distraction from just going head first into my thoughts and just writing away because I'm constantly focused on the fact that I have a pencil in hand and I'm writing.

How can I stop this?",2.9999188311688307,4.496452011363637,3.928766233766236,89.28636363636366,74.3409090909091,5.9376623376623385,28.48051948051948,6.18269132825596,1.1661474025974026,339,14,69,2,7,109,58,88,0.08,0.6940000000000001,0.227,0.9549,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,7,4,0,1,4,0,6,2,2,2,1,23,17,10,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,2,7,3,11,11,0,11,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,45,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247092088269013,0.0,0.0,0.14579653932604195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584590924745953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093214145448412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20343889455722727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592650066555625,0.2006054492604833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454586448751737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424820502656086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495077155637721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928660138954818,0.0,0.0,0.3999156533953263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325124314387165,0.0,0.5696256346033312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16990035332712655,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,simplyeth,2019/01/30,"Is it possible that I have attention deficit towards other people? Grew up in small town, where my dad never goes anywhere unnoticed, because he used to be only doctor in town.
My high school teacher once asked me: why can’t you just blend in like everyone else? I just thought because of my dad and didn’t make it a big deal.

Since then moved around a lot, but been living in big city for almost three years now.
Took 2 months off work w/ my husband, during Christmas and him changing jobs. We went traveling for a bit. Thought my colleagues and my boss would notice my absence mainly because no one new was hired. And that would be it. I don’t have many friends here.

But something strange happened.
Went to some local restaurants around the office: the first waiter said nice to see you this year! The second place I went knew what I wanted to order. It got strange when the third said “long time no seen”.
Went for a run last Saturday morning and some random person asked me how were the holidays.
At the post office later that day, I realized the lady knew my name. I recognized her face but that was it.
Stayed late in the office late last evening: the cleaning lady said she hadn’t seen me in a long time. I realized I had never seen her face before.
Today I was walking to the bus I sometimes take to work. There’s a smiling lady saying: well that’s a nice tan on you. I was wondering what happened to you.

I was a bit freaked out by the fact that so many strangers know me in a city of >1MI. Yes it’s not the biggest place on earth but it’s strange because most, I’ve never seen them before. And also - I’m not that attractive.

I mentioned to my husband and he said that probably I didn’t pay attention to these people before the holidays cause I was stressed out.

But I’m thinking something else. It happens also sometimes at work & even in Facebook that I totally forget the names of people I haven’t seen for a while, or even where I know them from. Is it possible that I have some attention deficit towards others?",3.0224937343358427,5.13748978947369,3.6081892230576464,88.9342888471178,75.9172932330827,6.237844611528822,26.12092731829573,7.1686216300943375,1.2362536340852135,1602,60,313,18,36,503,200,399,0.08,0.843,0.076,0.629,1,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,1,4,2,4,18,8,0,1,24,1,24,3,2,5,5,58,59,20,0,3,10,4,0,1,1,2,1,5,1,1,25,12,0,0,13,3,1,10,13,2,1,5,31,11,44,6,38,24,9,69,0,0,6,0,30,32,0,9,25,205,69,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970124444984374,0.0,0.0,0.12730154912952588,0.0,0.08623936326789007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170991549253134,0.14881807897542598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19407747364818964,0.0,0.2031842398012838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17379065102678126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176429715072453,0.0841992123525541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133112722583296,0.08205725062724338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146716808123776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298006422920033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577119743223568,0.0,0.0,0.07605485840754482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770206426016782,0.0,0.0,0.061493626051266626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365807431209755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21115241403075186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409474600511342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898412006511038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748484905073013,0.12975840956910514,0.1795695350256081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038885291204703284,0.0,0.07028238773197626,0.14087522312156395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766742129459671,0.0,0.0,0.0531291802843417,0.16139033182174034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353065392869292,0.0845951365762327,0.0,0.0,0.18416189871983024,0.07687175500904017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090617558404024,0.0,0.08476432186997883,0.053934514975716163,0.06053433054983705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655400249065751,0.06949784460923494,0.1663162238029039,0.0,0.0,0.17945908974751684,0.07622842925399853,0.0,0.0858150950594151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30284601648425163,0.06329582788180088,0.0,0.08055272116432385,0.06342559628559376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584044298665019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254970137160875,0.15743971997334988,0.0,0.0,0.08483592263520585,0.0,0.0,0.09117391540658416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984429493212123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05100020590388333,0.0,0.12637646110588532,0.09282304684933036,0.0,0.0754451907656261,0.0,0.08843114231145169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874310055807804,0.0,0.0,0.0469462210006294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156398191796716,0.2951353375952129,0.07182061991760659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631559464823224,0.17383472387820068,0.0,0.0,0.11308166674630316,0.0,0.0,0.10251101779465978
mentalhealth,windyy3,2019/01/30,I want to seek therapy but I'm not sure what to tell them Do I need to go in for a specific problem that I'm having? Because I have a lot of problems and don't know where to begin. Some advice would be appreciated,0.10574468085106403,2.068952765957448,3.3908936170212804,87.49400000000004,85.17021276595744,6.313191489361702,22.16595744680852,7.554174236665415,0.9437012765957444,168,6,38,3,5,61,37,47,0.194,0.6920000000000001,0.114,-0.605,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,12,13,2,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,7,11,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987489569737666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636589050491387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17374941447069306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16801735402411935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599147441624031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22668971527827475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5850712046168435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881402898173244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26721535911043753,0.0,0.3496208707420895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032333414402724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21717683280602898,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QueenFrankie420,2019/01/30,"New managers and having to explain to them not to give me ""sharps"" I'm a section head at a retail store and every time we get new managers they always inevitably ask me ""why don't you have your own box cutter"" and I then have to go through the awkward conversation of ""I have maladaptive coping techniques and am not allowed to be in possession of my own personal box cutter for work even though I have never used that tool in that manner"" which is a fun adventure all in itself. 

I hate my life.....",13.743333333333332,6.812866938775513,12.44183673469388,64.04363945578233,58.18367346938776,15.107482993197275,46.95238095238096,10.504223727775694,4.924417687074829,392,14,75,5,3,127,70,98,0.055,0.888,0.058,0.0772,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,1,2,2,1,2,4,1,1,4,0,9,2,1,2,2,12,17,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,0,2,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,13,2,13,16,4,11,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,5,57,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21314777125314188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23947741484598864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16919295541241142,0.0,0.2158280055862026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383436524335388,0.2457344700041081,0.14558308651150692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252907495187585,0.2628966901736389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809351922458227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975683587289432,0.4948067947383991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236712673483181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251678415274496,0.0,0.14937044914600972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124220556381155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311468674897336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864893950673468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BellusInteritus,2019/01/30,"Could I have depression/mood disorder? For about a year now I’ve been experiencing these intense episodes of depression. Before this I would feel a bit of depressed from time to time, but it was always situational and would go away as soon as whatever was causing the depression went away. But over the past year, the depression I’ve felt is WAY worse. It scares me because sometimes I don’t even feel like myself anymore. At first these episodes were kind of triggered by something, but lately I’ve just been waking up and feeling extremely sad and hopeless for no reason.  At the beginning I thought it was just stress from school, dealing with toxic people, work, etc. But I’ve cut a lot of negativity out of my life, and I don’t feel any better. 
Then there are days when I wake up after feeling depressed for a while, and feel perfectly fine. Very hopeful, and like I could accomplish anything. And its like I can’t even remember how depressed I felt the day before. Its not like mania that people may experience from BPD. I don’t experiences any of the symptoms of mania. I do ramble on and on though when I’m feeling good. And I do get highly irritable when I’m not feeling depressed and go into fits of rage over nothing. Lately it seems like these cycles between high and lows are going more rapidly. Instead of feeling generally depressed for a few months, then generally happy for a few months, it’s like every other day now. This really makes me think it’s not BPD because I the highs/lows don’t tend to switch that rapidly. I’m thinking maybe a mood disorder or some cycling form of depression? I’ve been putting off seeing a psychologist because I just don’t feeling talking to someone about it, although I should. I’m also just not interested in being medicated. ",6.531428571428571,7.269359523809522,6.839880952380952,74.52178571428571,65.3690476190476,9.376190476190477,34.75,9.362217197678863,3.238771428571429,1424,63,250,25,21,461,172,336,0.22,0.629,0.152,-0.9874,0,0,1,0,0,1,35.0,0,0,0,5,19,31,2,2,15,0,26,5,2,5,1,61,56,28,0,6,13,0,12,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,17,14,0,0,18,0,0,5,12,16,0,1,11,14,19,14,43,38,8,48,0,12,1,0,2,18,0,6,30,171,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057152505500359975,0.05946665556179576,0.0,0.0,0.0972006530998666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087652085405814,0.0,0.0,0.05881163381991826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429207083210715,0.0,0.0,0.1306977089755008,0.0,0.12162709683932114,0.0,0.0,0.06320716456432697,0.07802396126863416,0.0,0.18002153927571987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341677260950162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412191000598758,0.0,0.0,0.13827180664372588,0.07367981772234715,0.5539934016780836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381581182141194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970511443304694,0.0944071724873251,0.0,0.060214421165780116,0.0,0.0,0.13981778752713198,0.0,0.0,0.361360973830721,0.05105637088311425,0.13723994693452551,0.0,0.0,0.06079018875218894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0373388004644256,0.0,0.12184982104627967,0.059943518429962935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607844483936438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101860005547665,0.0,0.07098331785982476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442236651517517,0.0,0.0,0.16123682560698424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047958368521312,0.2094923590158684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060759082574866036,0.0,0.0,0.04770508747448052,0.0,0.07179867392036078,0.0,0.0,0.07199595167500597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408929656957152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857495962816454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822378152990043,0.09909308251361937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184454121860841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04578388775582888,0.07348045634422556,0.0,0.0,0.08095870547252906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155139951465055,0.07232888948945547,0.05695031624301348,0.06506129550523561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033242441143054,0.0,0.0,0.060554150707986275,0.055019145718187126,0.07068314975960517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186573906437368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428205996718495,0.0,0.05744284078565096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158693097993532,0.0702164209622081,0.056737183780231966,0.08334650649410022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589681428497984,0.0,0.056727546743935764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625105554724456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05202916529315621,0.0,0.07283145191107901,0.10153687248742177,0.0,0.0,0.09204540790616242
mentalhealth,MetalTele79,2019/01/30,"Family member experiencing paranoia. How so we convince them to accept the issue and seek help? My mother-in-law has been experiences elaborate plots of paranoia for several years. She believes there are hundreds of people who are plotting against her and following her at all times. She believes these people will occasionally break into her house, hack her phone, read her email and mess with her pet. She thinks that it's all a case of mistaken identity and they are meant to be following and harassing someone else. 


We have been unable to successfully discuss the issue with her and she refuses to accept that the situation can not be real. She remains high functioning and is good at hiding her suspicions from co-workers and in public. 


My concern is that she may eventually decide someone is following her and attack them, or that she will cause a major collision on the roads while trying to avoid her invisible pursuers. I've contacted local mental health centers and they have told me that they can't do anything unless she wants to seek help herself or unless she poses an immediate threat to herself or others. I can't say if she poses an immediate threat but I do fear that it could suddenly emerge. Are there any approaches that I can attempt to get her to accept her illness and seek treatment?",8.771080817916264,8.899142291139242,8.647426160337552,65.5358325219085,60.687763713080166,11.511716975008113,37.640051931191174,11.051253699011982,4.441328075300227,1061,46,166,25,13,344,140,237,0.121,0.8140000000000001,0.066,-0.8938,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,5,2,4,13,4,2,8,0,24,2,0,2,2,40,32,21,0,3,8,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,12,16,0,2,6,1,0,4,3,7,0,0,4,2,37,6,24,22,3,18,0,0,0,0,42,9,0,5,4,129,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971490636360856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276686301713794,0.0,0.0,0.18354448667370174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36354380988990376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657378644173095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288147175048176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477662392667564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781885180077307,0.15209446147305772,0.18154933327468456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429208788288564,0.0,0.0,0.13532208481956493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149402085829646,0.0,0.0,0.2162820021518219,0.1704617308201256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18616159938977608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367884792103503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625900660914777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22370195924697972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613809746853058,0.1836371851532417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830190810931852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226524256308016,0.0,0.0,0.1813499012852592,0.0,0.0,0.27340116606124626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337843662706496,0.0,0.0,0.0940770855350009,0.0,0.0,0.1541647179794248,0.0,0.10953744609737112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516092820762924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745548648629768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389594089711547
mentalhealth,throwawayfortoday77,2019/01/30,"Anyone have any advice on dealing with OCD with therapy alone? I’ve had bad experiences with SSRI’s (emotional blunting on all of them) and meds meant to help with ocd. My doc is suggesting maybe just going therapy to treat my Pure O, anyone have experience in this? I’m nervous, it’s so hard to control the thoughts. ",4.2049180327868845,6.160932114754104,5.417180327868851,77.9536393442623,72.11475409836065,8.814426229508197,30.2327868852459,9.3871,2.9410695081967217,253,11,46,6,5,84,48,61,0.146,0.772,0.08199999999999999,-0.5028,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,2,11,8,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,1,3,1,11,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072302741084002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196383632772292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421342784087093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965655795353653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770678184323584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378521555033153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21863266835281825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23854781701625816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4148861508512218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052306107330606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899711625774426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421446271267409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130506853661949,0.0,0.2355596030266575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4850361963557439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683582053832094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinksocksmurderdocs,2019/01/30,"When is the right time to disclose a mental illness when dating? I've (31F) been divorced for over a year but we separated in 2016 so that's all well behind me and we have a decent coparent relationship. He has a new live-in girlfriend who gets along well with my daughter which is what matters to me. I was in one relationship for about 9 months post-divorce. He was nice to me and to my daughter but didn't seem ready to leave his single man life and was wrapped up in spending time out with younger friends, etc. That ended in July and I haven't been dating since.

I struggled with Bipolar II for most of my life. Over the past several months though I've found the right treatment and been feeling better than literally ever before. I've taken time to get my life in order, my house reorganized, and I'm starting to feel like I'm in a really good place with myself. I'm starting to think about easing back into the dating world sometime in the foreseeable future. So this brings me to my question...

When is the right time to disclose a mental illness that is managed with medication(but still part of daily life) to a potential S/O? I'm not going to be one of those people to plaster it on my profile, or blurt it out in the first conversation. I also know that just because this treatment is working for me now, doesn't mean I'll never have symptoms. Depression and hypomania can be hard to live with, and I'll be going into dating ultimately looking for a partner, so I don't want to string anyone along who will be scared away on date six when I drop the Bipolar 2 bomb. How soon is too soon?
",4.972477091783084,5.777107794952682,5.670644434429923,81.29314405888542,68.84227129337539,7.930839717590506,29.60627910470182,7.957251820313856,1.919333904161033,1269,46,245,15,21,413,171,317,0.08199999999999999,0.81,0.109,0.8922,1,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,2,0,0,3,22,10,0,2,16,0,25,9,0,1,3,42,46,21,0,1,5,2,3,1,3,1,9,0,0,2,13,22,0,0,8,0,1,3,6,3,2,4,9,4,22,7,53,32,5,58,0,1,1,0,18,23,0,4,31,171,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923318096039558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802168699608276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483624955018113,0.0858007241739994,0.0,0.06802018689012401,0.0,0.0949492296701003,0.0,0.0,0.09868642335420563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610659338362336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988297464371598,0.0,0.12444495367973532,0.0,0.10093354675626597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283980951511707,0.07971518207833092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949127578231284,0.0,0.12234540618788205,0.08620903514316892,0.0,0.11659541115534144,0.0,0.12683080162713084,0.09359083701816012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995678263216434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875222792170224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132330219087701,0.0,0.0,0.11815067784109545,0.0,0.0,0.3152585375813267,0.05451399846260283,0.0,0.1970603206543864,0.0,0.09370192810979597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154700210452025,0.0,0.0,0.2248995852617739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781295633027443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605997411577011,0.1077679144106174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512235591082212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083391637638495,0.10651895292712504,0.07735785934883918,0.0,0.11658087271313512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686602430937908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499891185361715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148316430607903,0.0,0.0,0.2395975617052339,0.0,0.28587476581066584,0.0,0.0,0.1117144196035318,0.0,0.0,0.101581309594553,0.0,0.1260574475595897,0.0,0.09230291702990284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035880646229697,0.0,0.15795856771003922,0.0,0.0891106237050799,0.0,0.0,0.11665116604408715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597784631018533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714981181856354,0.1096300948358697,0.0,0.26026064233904805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581476286189618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006537011497002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123402257129915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185603210529662
mentalhealth,MadBuilding,2019/01/30,My dream is to become a mental health speaker. Any tips? I have degree in business studies but got interest in psychology as it was part of my degree I have social anxiety and difficulty with small chat but people and lecturers  have said I give a strong presentation. I have had trouble with my mental health in the past now I want to help other. Any advice on how to start my journey? I was think of just going to schools and giving some presentation they build a reputation from there move to corporate?,3.9272514619883054,6.462923736842108,5.170877192982456,76.79058479532165,74.78947368421053,8.011695906432749,26.345029239766077,8.841846274778883,2.36146783625731,405,15,70,9,9,134,65,95,0.083,0.738,0.17800000000000002,0.8717,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,4,3,0,0,4,0,8,2,0,1,0,12,16,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,5,2,11,2,15,11,2,13,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,5,51,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190886711205468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656795882807264,0.0,0.14943669781787214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574076157280875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747812033385167,0.11101780785497006,0.0,0.1562334721266864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152804971025447,0.0,0.0,0.13093415286203705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39371916952250985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076184687513302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115372029276433,0.18647679423712687,0.13542609295349775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18581572403172225,0.0,0.0,0.1976973298792276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991273718350287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826463046913498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251677706817688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521823726862615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,princessofpowerr,2019/01/30,"Advice on breaking negative self-talk. You know when you just can’t stop beating yourself up? Listing off every single little detail about yourself that you can’t stand, losing your control to be able to accept all of your flaws and respect yourself. I feel so disgusting in my own skin right now, I can’t stop reminding myself of every detail that makes me feel lesser. I’m usually pretty good at catching myself before I spiral into a dark place, but now that I’m here, how do I get out... I feel like I am in a constant state of anxiety right now..",6.584444444444442,6.292634481481485,7.163333333333334,75.765,65.29629629629629,9.051851851851852,31.88888888888889,8.344100000000001,2.500433333333334,436,15,77,5,6,144,75,108,0.131,0.765,0.104,-0.2342,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,5,0,3,9,6,1,0,2,0,6,1,1,3,1,16,14,5,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,5,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,4,15,4,14,13,3,24,0,1,0,0,5,12,0,0,9,54,18,0,0.19482155797596695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037737167413635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490379586015609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16577879655178018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21053289254556568,0.2185089432833676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282911303592957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955229003364772,0.13918055994521872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017862230791708,0.0,0.0,0.1634070795840296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706883323968724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517997241005256,0.19526238255162465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21795548995054945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300449027631485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20354706242999465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820356407593714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327530920491361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20324137397193895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32575909199961195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659018859162768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21456842192813594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,holyxhandgrenade,2019/01/30,"How to help someone who doesn't want to listen? My friends mental health has totally warped him and into a not so nice person tbh. We are no longer friends because of the group he got into. I worry about him. I know how he avoids stuff and if he really is seeing a therapist I know he will avoid talking about certain stuff. I also know he rather fake stuff is ok. He has a friend group that enables this. He needs help. He needs away from them but because we don't speak and when I reach out he doesn't respond I dunno what to do. These friends are not real friends even his girlfriend is holding onto screenshots to ""cancel"" or ""expose"" him.",1.723850446428571,4.160936898437502,2.449151785714289,93.78781250000002,82.359375,4.5946428571428575,21.642857142857146,5.773587663045528,0.12267008928571375,505,16,102,3,14,157,82,128,0.087,0.7440000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.8973,0,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,1,1,9,11,0,2,4,1,12,1,0,2,2,29,21,11,0,5,6,0,0,0,6,1,1,2,0,1,8,8,0,3,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,3,14,8,13,19,1,6,0,0,1,0,32,5,0,3,1,68,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682702107970913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137255072656802,0.0,0.0,0.1781085403911627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649015938752672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5643385485945213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684041930999885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15528537755782895,0.0,0.0,0.19584025259317986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24085946417994425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722297415272276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21664572954049874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755895293774228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628083875729208,0.09358811434658043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164137204129525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378041836120796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5017095746051732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742050348608693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962015405461936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616685638087238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836009056649208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway574734,2019/01/30,"Thought my father was going to kill me Sorry for the click-baity title

A year ago, I thought my father was going to kill me when we were driving together on a dark two-way street (which is what I think triggered it). I had no good reason to think this; I even knew at the time he would never hurt me, but I still felt a sense of dread and ...anticipation? My mind felt like it was on a see-saw, it could go one way or other. 

I'm seeing a pyschiatric nurse practitioner for my suspected depression next week. I'm concerned if I mention this and other oddities from years ago, she'll misdiagnosis me and put me on strong antipsychotics when I'm not currently experiencing pyschosis instead of treating the depression that effects me every moment of everyday.

Should I trust her to do her job? Or would it be in my best entrust to keep this one off to myself? I don't know how qualified nurse practitioner are, no offense

My great-grandfather has schizophrenia, if it matters.



",6.514491978609628,6.732805048128345,6.8785026737967945,76.02598930481284,65.36363636363637,10.00855614973262,33.042780748663105,9.800150414767053,3.0472395721925136,772,30,146,15,11,251,119,187,0.152,0.7340000000000001,0.114,-0.7784,2,0,0,0,0,2,24.0,1,0,0,3,6,13,3,1,8,0,16,0,0,4,1,31,32,11,2,6,6,2,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,1,11,0,0,5,5,7,0,2,10,4,25,6,18,16,1,27,0,3,1,0,8,7,0,4,15,100,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526359379814501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954533367794995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377494014605292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24547069830431614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941201422105532,0.0,0.1200626972280154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736453805812378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429587113573609,0.11952253903137493,0.0,0.15710714727209804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525495800224594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140961670498425,0.12666086528860002,0.3153110648947701,0.0,0.0783144698045568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961847672906782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388473884241754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109905060612882,0.0,0.15155074688840456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193123860431643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432522182031292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651410096501688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271086707717277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15951748360392845,0.0,0.0,0.113800969616651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826169504147995,0.0,0.2262587329045864,0.08309310444638843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920214321700888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22622030195902199,0.114305191339561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202456330940618,0.0,0.0,0.1835311164121456
mentalhealth,LoomisMcMunn,2019/01/30,"Police using auditory hallucination simulator for crisis intervention training [https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/police-shootings-mental-health-1.4614817](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/police-shootings-mental-health-1.4614817)

This could help reduce violent encounters - by giving officers a better idea as to what someone in crisis is going through. ",36.76258064516129,45.26164670967743,21.66790322580645,-32.6781451612903,1.2580645161290391,16.52258064516129,50.983870967741936,14.554592549557764,9.941116129032258,332,11,13,8,2,82,30,31,0.274,0.544,0.181,-0.7269,0,0,0,2,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23280441314894956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210166715035464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525129753643145,0.14959894856072273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5595996437389005,0.0,0.0,0.17643666342645034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971531863110809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5305452785170589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22303284155325093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273450997824905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KApsy27,2019/01/30,"Frustrated with system Been having thoughts of suicide on and off, which is really nothing new for me, but they are growing in intensity, where I have a plan etc. I have been off of work since September with little to no help from my employer, waiting for disability has been a nightmare, ei covers fifteen weeks, but disability does not come in until 4 months after the last shift worked. So now I have zero income because as you have guessed, the insurance company is dragging their heels. Alas that is not my major complaint, I am so upset with the health care system as whole! I have visited our psych emergency that they now know me by name, crying, begging for help, only to be turned away and told to wait for a psychiatrist! When I am extremely unsafe they keep me and just let me sit in emerg and then let me go. I had a psychiatrist who has now abruptly left town, and you would think other psychiatrists would absorb this doctor's patients but that is not the case, I now have to wait up to a minimum of six months to see a new psychiatrist! I am currently waiting in the psych emerg again after two torturous nights to see a psychiatrist to discuss meds, treatments, only to be told I might not be able to see a doctor at all! There has been no group therapy, none currently being run other than a meditation group. I am growing more and more frustrated! My employer offers counseling, but only only 4 sessions at a time then you have to take a break. No ongoing. I have made an appointment with a psychologist and the earliest I can see them is April. Which is fine, I understand everything is so busy, but I am just soo frustrated that after almost 5 months I feel I have gotten nowhere. I am on the verge of being homeless. End rant

Tldr: our health care system sucks for mental health. ",6.337857142857143,6.881812359649127,6.9087969924812045,74.53657894736844,65.75438596491229,10.373934837092731,31.782790309106087,10.290406445055957,3.248643943191312,1425,53,259,33,21,468,179,342,0.139,0.795,0.065,-0.9825,5,0,0,0,0,1,36.0,2,3,5,3,13,9,5,1,20,0,43,6,1,1,1,41,69,21,1,2,11,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,10,12,0,5,5,0,0,6,8,6,0,3,10,5,36,3,45,49,7,54,0,0,4,0,21,17,1,3,26,197,46,9,0.10401061360801267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415160522641717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772139530475878,0.0,0.0,0.06340390466383193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120915050347756,0.0,0.0,0.08959593389417454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425077508624615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129185406697344,0.09102038888352816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212253167099377,0.0,0.11599932813696118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347803286780054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05259089140947519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591116286389648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145794171494894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33167525552926,0.0,0.0,0.13943224370362473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244941237382183,0.0,0.0,0.05716151312642525,0.08478253220220383,0.0,0.0,0.11300783601605388,0.2127157986977303,0.0,0.0,0.10424595940384752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841735746732827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553234420410652,0.0,0.10481823495947512,0.11033882437712696,0.0,0.0,0.2490608383883395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009081975075511,0.0,0.09760691499892303,0.0,0.09980098893864968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31641903418658274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663186242126784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315319709841857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603865439257219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377072968146353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820303715264998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894520127562115,0.0,0.0,0.06664580143550898,0.0,0.08257280910648088,0.06064942522603005,0.0,0.0,0.19877319715876013,0.0,0.0,0.11313368020595554,0.10160325616176992,0.10827871689724236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343104041284957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612413566019568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144193093412514,0.0,0.0,0.1477723113936814,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jacobdoyle9,2019/01/30,"Friend with mental health issues I have a friend with mental health issues, she used to be overweight but has been on a huge diet, worked out a lot, has gotten a lot healthier and lost a lot of weight but she won’t go out of the house in fear of being judged. I met her in uni before she lost all the weight and she was outgoing and up for anything but now all she thinks about is people thinking she’s overweight. She constantly makes plans with people only to tell me a few days before that she’s going to cancel on them or just ghost people entirely saying “I can’t do it, there’s no way”. She is seeing a professional for this and has been since it really started, but I want to know what I can do as a friend and how I can talk to her when she tells me she can’t do something?

Sorry if this is the wrong sub for this, if so please direct me to the right one, thanks.",4.415558867362144,4.301482617486343,5.148455042225535,87.78187779433685,69.81967213114754,7.96602086438152,22.64729259811227,7.348242739294969,0.6045781420765026,681,11,152,6,11,221,103,183,0.147,0.732,0.121,-0.627,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,4,7,8,0,1,12,0,20,7,0,3,2,30,35,16,1,3,8,0,2,0,3,1,4,1,0,0,7,10,5,0,3,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,7,4,23,4,24,25,6,17,0,2,1,0,22,9,0,6,5,112,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056776897369622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20798207737829566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320647430759083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881483193558356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751934022678733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28325560323372906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389086235328976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25980535621785594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410130230823343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25510933376393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716298713359595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26681158363178525,0.311693706630544,0.0,0.0,0.08157559830243455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463162845384854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281212517770313,0.0929456130512834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541734410823143,0.0,0.0,0.1341490165685024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829035086228857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436599972061897,0.0,0.09718567088503692,0.0,0.0,0.09738491986880632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109272344102513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408262237126984,0.0,0.13680320795903372,0.08650030960277356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982271357910762,0.2136324765983066,0.11251382352875347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661345753466435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055495215092254,0.0,0.0,0.07208215985393895,0.09700398449832788,0.0,0.2976357949013269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896976219225973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361658912649135,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fasih_AOT,2019/01/30,"Anxiety?? Racing heartbeat, trouble sleeping and “panic” attack So basically I started feeling symptoms last week when i was trying to doze off but when i closed my eyes I started feeling scared and my heart started racing.. this never happened before so I got up immediately to try and calm myself down. The following days it persisted but not as severe. I went to see a doctor about the palpitations but he said there is nothing wrong especially because Im young (20). The thing is just that I tend to stress out and think about things a lot especially at night. Now a week later I still feel a little uncomfortable sleeping and am always AWARE of my heart beat and its so annoying. It kinda makes me have shortness of breath as well. Are these symptoms of anxiety? What can I do to stop this? Help?

Thank you",3.3764321192052966,6.141100397350995,4.42307533112583,80.16057326158945,78.13907284768213,6.688907284768213,26.656043046357606,7.8658589789855275,1.9420228476821202,644,26,111,11,16,209,104,151,0.16699999999999998,0.6990000000000001,0.133,-0.6990000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,2,12,10,2,3,7,0,8,9,6,1,1,22,24,16,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,10,8,0,1,4,0,0,2,2,7,1,0,4,6,15,3,17,20,1,26,0,0,2,0,4,8,0,2,16,79,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316885703531368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20809021873870104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472778543253185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290870573970238,0.0,0.1157320804726094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771337018057906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920909704622425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20630792836379072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087773547725596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027068731557353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32233829202536457,0.09116273615278342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691107772890138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086399254885466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363149102344922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562842847898995,0.0,0.0,0.0907858391102294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489711063947033,0.0,0.0,0.12763351148028124,0.0,0.13050254346820722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957510437914932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937395975510774,0.0,0.1361668993464003,0.0,0.1083801020274978,0.0,0.0,0.15364938415853466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27221077657476545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28879971538062504,0.0,0.10861549808706128,0.11370808038833727,0.1557957486046761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827270424172176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521712488933484,0.0,0.0,0.18071423474106094,0.0871478999487427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18467987531232052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181934887392504,0.0,0.12228677562350301,0.12608000505213435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870248475435635,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TerribleWerewolf,2019/01/30,"I want to runaway It started at the beginning of the year when I had a mental break down that at the end of it, I was in my bed crying in the dark and with google opened asking why I felt like this. During the episode I was disgusted in myself and I wanted to run away, I wanted to get away from everything. I didn't act on it, I only thought out of how I am gonna travel but that was about it. During a girls night that my co-workers and I were doing, 2 nights afterwards. I told them about because I was still riding the aftermath and they did give me some advice. One of them offered that if I feel like this again I could go over to her house. 

I had another one a couple days ago but it wasn't as big, I felt like running away again. I felt like just clocking out and leaving. Because of this I started to slow down on my work which wasn't good, I lost my chipper attitude and somewhat became aggressive. I was putting myself down and almost started crying. When I got home and was going to bed, I started looking train tickets and the lowest price I was able to find was 84 bucks with 11 hours on the travel but the highest one was 140 (i think) and it was 9 hours. I planned out what I was gonna bring and how I would go to the train station from my work. The next day at work I was still a little aggressive and I was still slow at work but towards the end I kinda caught up. I almost broke down crying again.

I'm not happy with my life but yet I am. I got into college and the course I wanted, I'm finally done with high school after today. But I am not happy, I'm not happy where my life is going. I want to get away. I want to start over. I want to disappear. I hate it. It scares me because this isn't like my suicidal thoughts where I pussy out because I don't want to make my mom cry. It scares me that I actually might do it.  What's wrong with me. ",1.721060606060604,3.1445619141414163,3.3334343434343445,92.5368181818182,77.58585858585859,6.113131313131312,22.101010101010104,6.714681859716394,0.3682434343434342,1442,40,328,13,33,478,172,396,0.15,0.7759999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9874,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,3,6,16,18,4,2,17,0,32,2,0,3,0,62,75,25,1,11,11,1,4,5,0,4,2,0,3,1,22,24,0,0,8,3,2,14,8,9,0,3,31,5,62,9,55,39,2,82,0,2,1,0,10,33,0,7,39,230,84,6,0.07224059246150677,0.0,0.07049639741168695,0.0,0.0,0.07059267087218676,0.06403692646919566,0.0,0.14467703643647611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575055996918062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675352021883527,0.0,0.27148965852988843,0.0,0.0,0.17614877860638858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057678234810004676,0.07993284152062866,0.31741159464829666,0.09317841164513692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392720748610697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796744555411088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492518640411031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0365270141354745,0.05160869368885333,0.2080868928022717,0.07913603794931769,0.06602659276113737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548545588127846,0.06929975892318731,0.16422397392392352,0.06059198152501734,0.11555480219036028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307043619508973,0.0,0.0713226290396858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632615221933245,0.07246320437677019,0.0,0.14228486363075993,0.08335594449297264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649235669862446,0.0,0.0,0.10205133372738832,0.17646552231710072,0.07240405193102313,0.0,0.0,0.06066390340953566,0.0,0.07885914034446165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04822115642544953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280152603251801,0.07663585251549504,0.0,0.0846073087882294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682868963446546,0.1355858046263642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685628515943427,0.054942225852745975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262174840933773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465087105443442,0.0731113363122088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25566131582271673,0.0,0.17307429137021044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901948303027513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628885470205716,0.0,0.11470192212390808,0.0,0.0,0.06847563478274384,0.06902898189954779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408749849840637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518589839114013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629600584664032,0.0,0.0,0.05131764420080026,0.07898374733846443,0.0,0.04652057304435013
mentalhealth,sarahsbrains,2019/01/30,"Let’s talk about grief. #bellletstalk 
I’ll be real with you. I’ve been grieving for most of my adult life at this point. I lost my little brother to cancer when I was 19.. He was 16, and we lived together in a children’s hospital for a year while he had treatment before his cancer took over. I was his caretaker. 
4 years later, as soon as I thought I was on the healing-home-stretch, my dad was terminally diagnosed with cancer and we lost him 6 months later.  I was his caretaker too. 
It’s unforgiving and mind consuming some days. Grieving has created self destructive behaviours and poor eating habits, insomnia, uncontrollable rage and depression in me over the years, and has especially introduced me to anxiety attacks. 
This is a “temporary” state of mind but it’s a hard trench to dig yourself out of and it leaves some scars from the traumas. 
There isn’t any easy way to solve the emotions I deal with on the daily as I have no diagnosis. Only heavy symptoms that come and go as they please and intertwine as they will. My best chance of feeling better is to take control of my mental state. This takes a lot of practice, conscious will power, and patience with yourself. It’s hard to conjure up the strength to battle my mind most days, but I won’t give up on getting better. 

I’m thankful for my friends and family; for love, support, patience, and kindness. 
I’m thankful for my boyfriend who got thrown into my crazy life and hasn’t been scared away yet. 
I’m thankful for my brother and my dad, their humour and their protectiveness over me. Their equal love for food and Monty Python skits. I’m thankful for the memories. 
I’m thankful for my therapist.

Bell, let’s talk about a mental illness that doesn’t fit inside of a box.",4.492765072765074,6.256028132132138,4.996591591591592,82.05140852390853,70.98198198198199,8.126079926079925,30.225109725109725,8.730908602173464,2.444674382074382,1380,58,258,25,26,440,179,333,0.141,0.635,0.224,0.9934,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,2,1,5,8,7,28,4,2,14,0,23,13,0,1,0,40,48,25,3,0,2,4,3,0,1,3,9,0,0,3,10,25,2,2,3,0,1,3,5,13,0,0,14,3,36,15,49,28,7,35,0,6,0,2,29,17,0,5,12,164,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753294401783089,0.0,0.0759704591026422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297735152083235,0.09330327124680317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450391700004374,0.0,0.10421777134633824,0.17565996811411858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554517356888089,0.0,0.0,0.1113825289545853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809107592752572,0.1023823368835797,0.0855339597663329,0.10079567674964744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161702463521227,0.0,0.1117082966082102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361888090248666,0.0,0.05021318198524003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008380312030448,0.0,0.07672522647844357,0.0,0.05188440696722999,0.09526542173519112,0.05643910735761925,0.0,0.07942579552400086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779211836154522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961416652095416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341415106295647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515298658528112,0.0,0.2030986131796279,0.14028855940111312,0.0,0.09953285047053316,0.08769091143992784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168131427676903,0.0844282335816697,0.1792589562132262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20015850525946796,0.0,0.3008187506244674,0.0,0.07926681387984576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755283192649126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901052152799798,0.0938782962492243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303441032384096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942477758571726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360005353118336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269370608528753,0.0,0.1032191870591442,0.1493347319698412,0.15964025044222108,0.0,0.4571479872055342,0.0,0.11530441051351835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883957429839629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033500310970604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788261830831743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19185356829357988
mentalhealth,WiFi_Warlord,2019/01/30,"Bell Let's Talk Day 2019 - Official Video  

Each time you watch our official video, Bell will donate 5¢ towards mental health initiatives.

 ",7.05086956521739,10.003061260869572,5.312391304347828,77.45815217391308,66.82608695652173,9.817391304347826,28.89130434782609,10.125756701596842,3.4104086956521744,111,4,17,3,2,32,20,23,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30092094985214823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4959781848780141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4771341574665796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4702270403111038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750385844591441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27208051854366505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bluemood16,2019/01/30,"My best friend is severely depressed and an addict... and wont come to terms with it This is long so bare with me. Also, first time poster so I apologize for any mistakes.

Backstory: I’ve been friends with this girl (lets name her Sara) for about 5 years now, we met my college freshman year, we were roommates for a year (best roommate I’ve ever had), she was my maid of honor at my wedding, so we been close ever since. 

Here’s the problem: She is always been a big drinker, she would drink several times a week every week, even alone. Now I dont mind her drinking but she has severe depression and anxiety, and has sleeping issues (she can sleep for over 20hrs nonstop and is always tired) and is prescribed everything and anything (xanax, aderall, anti psychotics, etc) its always worried me that she mixes alcohol and all these pills but its her life and the few times I brought it up she always told me she needed the pills and alcohol hasn’t affected her. I’ve also tried to convince her of seeing another psychiatrist but she refuses to this too, whenever she is on all those meds she acts so out of it, like she is not aware of her surroundings. 

Anyways, fast forward 5 years (Im 24, she is 25) and her tolerance for the medication is sky high, her mental health has not improved at all. She admitted to me and my husband to take from 4 to 11 tabs of xanax in a day or she just “doesnt feel it” and the drinking constantly (at least every weekend) continues, in addition to about 5-6 other meds she takes. I kept trying to talk to her about it but its pointless.

About a month ago my husband and I went over to her place to visit (she lives at home but parents were out of the country) she looked tired most of the time but thats not unusual. We left at around midnight but I forgot my glasses and had to go back, she opened the door and looked like I had woken her up from a 10hr nap. Anyways, I grab my glasses and Im ready to leave when she starts to lose balance, Im a bit confuse at this point and hold her for a second then suddenly she is completely out. I start screaming for my husband who is waiting for me in the car, he comes in running for his life, picks her up and we tried for a good 30 seconds to wake her up not knowing whats happening. Im ready to call 911 when she finally wakes up, she has no recollection of me coming back for my stuff, and looks very confuse and angry. After staying with her for an hour she insists that we go home, I insist I stay but she says no, and that she’ll call me if she needs me. 

I cried the entire way home. Im horrified and really worried about her, my family told me I need to have a serious conversation with her about rehab, but I know she will discard that option immediately. My husband insists that I talk to her parents about it but it feels like a violation of her trust, I know this is important but I have no idea how to deal with this and Im the only friend who knows whats truly happening here. 

Regardless of if what happened that night had anything to do with the pills and the drinking Im afraid for her life, and I feel really shitty for not doing anything about it... I dont wanna wait until its too late but I have no idea what I need to do.

Any advice on how to deal with this? she is genuinely one of the best humans I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with.",2.889700550557272,4.4724464593796185,4.113056532832015,87.49784584396403,74.80502215657313,7.227919967772257,25.898455753994888,7.9396628663295825,1.4278953618906942,2611,92,545,39,55,855,293,677,0.122,0.785,0.093,-0.9547,2,1,7,0,0,0,74.0,6,0,0,6,33,26,1,3,28,0,45,24,4,4,5,113,83,53,0,11,21,6,4,3,4,4,16,2,5,2,36,51,6,6,11,6,0,12,14,11,0,4,19,10,98,15,93,58,12,85,0,3,4,0,88,33,0,7,42,388,134,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131728058781314,0.0,0.054963691729601125,0.04985936701752923,0.12022138073658988,0.0,0.05825468958675869,0.0,0.0899610417587239,0.18720727070181253,0.0,0.0,0.07649946346129356,0.05897964158388463,0.04302862436091782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885889515217634,0.05007154945254328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650058697080089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17708254187071182,0.0,0.06140690400549845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486847990989756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535483329428264,0.058973667198184226,0.0607827753007464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061784434644913636,0.036274512851269695,0.11597589818443725,0.09689051950877033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184158882005775,0.22040168115974715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273001564078448,0.03715046047457101,0.1017568455687641,0.09478065763780057,0.0,0.050550969199954096,0.0,0.05302444801603811,0.0,0.08532016935780849,0.040182703040340086,0.0,0.06161558616224622,0.0,0.047843473011186986,0.0,0.0,0.17382445693460205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393267010471575,0.04717712126031611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921649631104195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597876852713201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059427799651973215,0.1692602862830526,0.0,0.055391737454933664,0.0,0.0,0.12699151173031276,0.4252931378955953,0.058707013507698164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364701313572618,0.0,0.06344880541318802,0.05955720702034471,0.06111227913706755,0.05751613217791929,0.11918626916119675,0.08243799065572642,0.0,0.04966692755031588,0.0497766206172159,0.1416993596468266,0.06292574718870156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495496095258599,0.05666270234691185,0.0566835138103891,0.0,0.05679320257826656,0.0,0.044895634421722834,0.0,0.0,0.16682506616979073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05278378248279018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038114266378880726,0.042778202430902086,0.0,0.0,0.12491076132369347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876590213157145,0.0,0.053171377304607366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053820561678564055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206624105487218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04472968832008506,0.0,0.0,0.04482139263061703,0.0,0.0,0.19062851702450606,0.0,0.04652790858741514,0.0,0.112574779566522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962350525315208,0.11990314385036027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438909362845263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458114064161502,0.09041804472815504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311917734054945,0.12929477355347735,0.0,0.10749239643884377,0.0,0.11456359212847142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04640947509564298,0.0,0.044646067191831375,0.09023553074110208,0.0,0.0,0.05214131841173319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424264848518285,0.0,0.03995609092690452,0.0,0.0,0.14488430055429324
mentalhealth,TasmanischerTeufel,2019/01/30,"Derealization or stuck? Hey guys, I need your advice and hope for some like-minded people or even better, advice from people who have already made it out of a derealization or the like.

I have been suffering for more than a month from the symptoms of a derealization which also caused sleep disorders and feel extremely helpless.

It was probably triggered by MDMA and / or cannabis.

​

My girlfriend and I decided to take MDMA together and just have a good time. I have had only a few (very good) experiences with it so far. I used drugs always with respect and caution, I decided to start with a very small dose first. I was quite nervous and also noticed my quick beating heart after we drank it in the tea. That went on for over an hour. In the end she did not feel anything and I imagined feeling a bit of something, with which my nervousness disappeared. Because we hadn't much mdma left, we decided to smoke a joint.

My girlfriend was a little sick of it and felt uncomfortable. I took care of her and was very worried, my puls was high again.

After a few minutes everything was fine and we were able to go to sleep relatively quickly and easily.

​

The first hours of the next day were as if nothing had ever happened.

But then towards evening suddenly this feeling of a surreal perception came over me from . I did not know to assign it directly and got a little panic and got nervous. After a long walk, I went to sleep hoping that this feeling wouldn't come back afterward. But from then on, I was stuck in this dream world and it felt like I still had that high-feeling, which I imagined from the bit of MDMA, which we took the day before

​

Here I am now sitting a month later, eye edges to the chin and still with this disturbed perception, which still scares me a bit.

Every night I wake up prematurely and can not catch up at noon. As if my body would fight back against deep sleep. I know that the brain is probably just stressed out and now needs a lot of rest to leave this state, but this is only partially possible if my head does not let me sleep.

I do not know how to continue and I can not really explain how this happened. I had neither a panic attack or was depressed or something before. This nervousness / increased pulse should have been the trigger for a DP / DR? Maybe, I do not know.

I speculate that my brain may remain in the state where it expects the actually known serotonin release after taking MDMA and got stuck somewhere? I don't know. Maybe I'm just too scared.

​

Right now I'm trying Tryptophan to find some more sleep and rest. And otherwise drink tea and persevere.

​

Has anyone ever had similar experience?

Would be glad if one or the other would contact me and have some advice. I'm relatively desperate. :)

​

Thanks and all the best to those who are undergoing the same nonsense! <3",5.416747713161762,6.922514515711647,5.6114972273567485,79.53812265984172,68.35304990757855,8.580141238921277,30.69249727475236,8.986495653885253,2.5961385942461725,2287,91,413,41,39,724,254,541,0.103,0.8109999999999999,0.086,-0.7561,0,0,5,0,1,0,84.0,5,1,0,7,26,28,2,10,35,0,44,22,13,7,3,111,87,48,0,14,24,0,7,2,2,6,5,0,0,1,30,39,4,0,22,2,0,11,11,15,0,3,35,8,43,13,58,44,19,76,0,3,1,0,17,24,0,18,40,302,73,1,0.05095219912354839,0.0,0.04972199640149732,0.0,0.0,0.14936969785481818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05622701873952966,0.08149291046115828,0.04239631136636205,0.33124011877656445,0.37147499358732333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035626962324823215,0.0,0.04192931846995614,0.0,0.0,0.057965482201329514,0.0,0.07835819206890766,0.0,0.031059987664500913,0.0,0.08671313729469826,0.0,0.05347118947928664,0.04506307953823608,0.1668798148171204,0.05659640687519681,0.0,0.11375901025169607,0.0,0.058275741976613685,0.051949162792519335,0.0523419439290868,0.0,0.043890807928899454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571990652885007,0.0,0.04388505444412348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058395634487101326,0.0,0.04458861281382792,0.0,0.0,0.04991375743628007,0.05908837473070325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04512852500953103,0.0,0.0,0.06730689395893807,0.09217836235140138,0.04292942531191817,0.0,0.045792551155479914,0.09968205540660026,0.0,0.0,0.1545777769149163,0.0,0.0978442030608698,0.0,0.04656938692200671,0.08667982909109455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028957308955802133,0.08547257442823733,0.12225338463321918,0.0,0.0,0.05045068782564766,0.09011372282546427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05229165601056368,0.0,0.0,0.060378601286678685,0.0,0.10766759168775998,0.0,0.10121406080001516,0.10035530519554373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000998061589046,0.0,0.0,0.05395102195506706,0.055359713431857895,0.05210207572093603,0.0,0.07467801239032931,0.10213497828958093,0.0,0.04509109285213951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043317737626957516,0.0,0.04821220278333637,0.0,0.0,0.10237666492127814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05144719627553978,0.0,0.08133911845616343,0.0,0.037455728990978585,0.0755608200742806,0.0,0.0,0.05418824180798991,0.04781518728082248,0.0,0.04889000924745423,0.0580094164110618,0.0,0.0,0.034526528779394175,0.07750288685497006,0.0,0.11956285481379453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064767878419337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057440948803204175,0.0,0.0,0.10987017684721473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054193935598053515,0.0,0.0,0.03264128346416924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043512899653424135,0.0,0.0,0.10202408001135234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059339771543796,0.0,0.0,0.07845098436906503,0.0,0.0,0.03606422878917721,0.0,0.12207147611311354,0.0,0.058365571946513616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052958844137971035,0.07661942532297708,0.0,0.0,0.04690993930911858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029710637055672375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321953600160273,0.03459319861469855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04400634066834405,0.0,0.12612270126869093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446639811153718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174443148856575,0.0,0.10858494110207544,0.0,0.37147499358732333,0.0
mentalhealth,SafariPinkManGuy,2019/01/30,"Can't handle being yelled at or being sternly talked to Hello everyone. I've always had trouble when anyone even begins to raise their voice at me, especially my teachers or parents. I'll begin to tear up from anything, and it'll keep me in a bad mood for a long time afterwards. Any idea why, and how to fix it?",4.911190476190473,5.373387698412703,6.098531746031751,79.39160714285715,68.84126984126982,8.204761904761906,28.448412698412696,8.07648339933343,1.8872888888888888,247,8,47,3,4,83,51,63,0.101,0.899,0.0,-0.7351,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,7,8,6,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,10,4,0,10,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,6,29,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599213002964385,0.0,0.0,0.2124259377351929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21842009539602256,0.0,0.2570582823368306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608203545007106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20632096086786125,0.0,0.0,0.2984880165137093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526337276518368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776535480815343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764423391610078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468558393331477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510754594936366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821485682896701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818701504789697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PaesitoPaez,2019/01/30,"What media has damaged you the most and/or triggered your darker side? Hi guys! I have been thinking retrospectively about what media has had the biggest impact on my ""risky behavior"", and as a teenager I feel like being exposed to stuff like Skins (drug in taking as something casual), Twin Peaks (sexual promiscuity as a way to cope with sexual abuse) and more recently, Split (not considering self harm scars as something THAT stigmatized) has definitely had it's negative impact on me in the past. The most triggering things I've seen though have to be the 2003 movie Thirteen and the 2017 Netflix original, 13RW. 

​

* I saw Thirteen as a 14 year old who was going through a rough time and seeing self harm depicted as something similar to a drug made me want to try it, and I did. Just once. I immediately regretted it because someone saw and asked me about it and just made me feel ashamed. 

​

* 13RW was the worst for me however, at least season 1 was. I was extremely vulnerable when the show came out, so that was definetely my fault. A couple of unfortunate and traumatic events later and I became majorly depressed and actively suicidal. The day my dog died (the cherry on top) for example I cut myself with the hopes of dying, (definetely influenced by Hannah Baker's suicide)

Yeah, 13RW has been the most harmful for me, because I mean, the ending of the movie Thirteen atleast shows some bits of hope, and even though it is lesser known, it deals with mental health in a more in depth, accurate and nuanced way than the Hannah Baker storyline.

Share your experiences! What has been the most harmful for you? And how are you people?

Just for the record I am great right now. I'm about to turn 18, I have been clean from self harm and any type of suicidal behavior for five months or so and I feel this is my definite recovery. 

​",6.752727272727274,7.775275011695907,6.72360446570973,74.54583732057421,64.96491228070175,10.428708133971293,33.089314194577355,10.436869588844218,3.5696385964912283,1482,60,258,36,22,471,192,342,0.16699999999999998,0.747,0.086,-0.9872,1,0,5,0,1,2,58.0,0,5,0,1,14,19,1,1,24,1,26,4,1,7,0,47,46,28,5,4,5,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,1,4,15,20,0,0,6,4,0,2,2,12,0,1,18,9,28,7,42,26,11,32,0,3,4,0,14,14,0,8,16,174,43,1,0.0,0.10753557496849298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950147618753419,0.33084943689967666,0.06171980677473294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484820324121434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106527180166208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908624396487632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380508379141372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042404202885093,0.0,0.05853259154322636,0.09356941477231803,0.0781713213637182,0.0,0.18838877961206785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21050521132723027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038628357365603,0.0,0.0,0.059946021536295475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878054369633752,0.0,0.0,0.13767271372866138,0.06483885128399898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158091138053948,0.0,0.0,0.10006304933975277,0.0,0.08986651562801994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647347093673396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802900092877605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886813514579847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17175831932611887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886407818433862,0.0,0.0,0.09146457664922722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244364224697601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523718970393892,0.09665627266718436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866405415844439,0.06292144867760822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961439742419249,0.0,0.0,0.07750841158476722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232384561587994,0.0,0.2840469364451973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690052200091854,0.2096140880338619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389830823216296,0.29782961798808866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824010811302385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060296808037181585,0.058155243847637976,0.17834217347277226,0.0,0.05292279539397407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161997700952247,0.09872064883373988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353250798951816,0.14408188061218494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33084943689967666,0.058446364394619664
mentalhealth,GenericThrowaway9874,2019/01/30,"Concerning Medication Habits of Mother For Context:
I am a 17 year old male in the United States who is turning 18 within the next 2 months. I have been going to therapy for the past several months for depression and anxiety. My therapist has also said that I show symptoms of high functioning Autism and OCD. I live in a family that is very strict on certain things, very lax on others, but is largely arbitrary. My mother is the most controlling member of the family, and she rarely gives the excuse ""My House, My Rules"", but she pretty much always gives a generic excuse and gets upset with me if I come up with a counterargument.

Quite a while ago, when one of my half-siblings was about my age, (we'll call him Mark), he was having depression and anxiety issues too. They went to a mental health specialist, who royally messed everything up. From what my mother has said, it seems like the doctor/psychiatrist/therapist/etc. had horrible habits when it came to medicine; my brother went on the full dosage immediately upon starting the medication, and had horrible problems. He ended up in the hospital needing detox. Now my mother has decided that all mental health medication is evil, and she is refusing to listen to the advice of my therapist to at least consider medicine.

There is one exception however. My sister (Charlotte) has a litany of mental health issues: Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, PTSD (to name the ones I know she's diagnosed with.) She takes Buspar, and has for a significant amount of time. Because it's old, it must not have any unknown side effects! Because my sister has never had issues because of it, I never would too! Because Buspar is supposed to do poorly with people who are bipolar, and my sister takes it just fine, I must be able to take it with no issues too! Whenever I bring up the possibility of medication (which I don't necessarily want, but I do want the option of if things get worse or therapy stops working as well), my mother immediately defaults to Buspar or nothing. I know rationally that if we could talk to someone together and I could keep my mother in her seat long enough, she would be willing to listen (she's a champion of facts because she knows everything), but I can't imagine her pride would ever let her do this.

I am not going around my mother's back to get medication when I turn 18, because I believe that is reckless and irresponsible. I also don't have much incentive to take medication even with my mother's approval. Getting out of the house is not an option. I will still be on the family insurance plan and I will still not have a car or job when I turn 18, so I couldn't go around her back even if I wanted to.

TLDR: Mother hates mental health medicine because of an incompetent healthcare official, and now views herself as the be all and end all authority when it comes to prescribing medicine for someone else's problems.",8.424406307977737,7.916099942486088,8.687073283859,67.06693645640075,61.63450834879406,11.930055658627088,37.06076066790352,11.27995839037828,4.321763265306123,2315,96,392,57,28,766,250,539,0.158,0.7959999999999999,0.047,-0.9962,2,0,0,0,0,0,71.0,2,0,1,7,26,14,2,1,29,0,53,15,0,2,10,81,90,36,0,18,17,13,0,1,0,9,15,4,0,1,22,27,0,4,7,1,1,10,11,9,1,3,11,5,58,5,63,62,10,62,0,3,1,0,48,21,0,11,31,292,80,2,0.0589441181421684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759951005494005,0.052250404248454986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427517996473747,0.049046228209138114,0.0,0.0,0.04008402161661235,0.0,0.13527626712483806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494552405055944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064877689610423,0.0,0.25152251123958835,0.0,0.0,0.06640983626198496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018853497064615,0.06741636826239543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155027702113834,0.0,0.0,0.06611084061654017,0.09412416401995087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230544775256172,0.05982703915036147,0.0,0.0,0.0675550660698327,0.060331802594654024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049240247163742035,0.0,0.10441398626557838,0.06090503079683605,0.0657382729024729,0.07786406823536833,0.05331832947404117,0.0,0.0,0.10595034529500484,0.0,0.16670180607678756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318347560209675,0.11308913833642002,0.10049790212378984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05819511342692001,0.0,0.25061936493558634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06227769707385401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602719669454186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24608938071101444,0.05849294202946709,0.052392240523392086,0.0,0.0,0.09718243742721913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060274354386554686,0.0,0.028797118741851705,0.0,0.052048736225840116,0.052163689692593176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35627998675496275,0.23760722913104326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940972654827785,0.0,0.08666141806330456,0.04370631672420885,0.09092267540171876,0.0,0.06268773835063678,0.0,0.0,0.056558471089068,0.0,0.12370387304455772,0.0,0.11982617981670292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056268830432690174,0.040864429763158884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645063668880011,0.0,0.059967358943572774,0.0,0.11280312097003566,0.06890251979843924,0.0,0.0,0.0626943252191127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213870884087572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053660511370375696,0.0,0.0665900757244679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988632004193213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041720950204737886,0.0,0.0941456977791142,0.049279922109747534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061265508049456165,0.17727456462758814,0.047377049399163235,0.0,0.0,0.13481547225280666,0.20531599284169924,0.07831970587971983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034370789304739975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19234282292719065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727014118945454,0.10430030420907473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052997841113818514,0.1092835761072795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042912020028557464,0.0,0.06006909212376393,0.1256166310164827,0.0,0.0,0.03795807952473088
mentalhealth,rosesandrubbies,2019/01/30,"i'm confused about my friend hello. i just want someone to explain to me, i want others point of view

i have a friend, and i am pretty sure she's depressed because she self harms and she just doesn't care most of the time. i understand her. i went through the same thing, except for the self harming part. what i don't understand is her care for a man who doesn't care about her. 

she said her depression started because of her family. but i don't think so. before she met the guy, she already knows there is something wrong with her family. she knows her parents doesn't talk anymore and only stayed together because of their children. she knows about her family problems and such. but she was fine then. she still cares. but ever since she met that guy, she truly lost it. i mean, i see that her family is one of the reason why she's like this but i don't think they started it. i think it was the guy. and i think she's only saying that it was her family who started it because she can't accept the fact that a guy, who doesn't care about her and is already breaking her heart, is also the reason of her depression. like she doesn't want to accept that this guy is the reason for her overall pain.

i just don't understand. we are always here for her. her friends. we never leave her even after her being stupid because of that guy. i'm annoyed every single damn time she talks about that guy. but i swear i never showed it. i listen to her still. i never complained and kept my feelings to myself and i just listen to her. because i know she just wants to let out of her feelings and i want to be that someone she needs. but still, her attention is to that guy. like she gives her entire energy being sad because of that guy. we want her to be with us. we don't care if she's gonna cry in front of us because of that shitty guy. we just want her to be with us. we want to be there for her. but she doesn't want it. instead she only cries about that guy. we invite her to hang out with us, just in a home, chilling out and do whatever the hell we/she wants. but she says no and instead i saw her in social media crying about that guy. wishing that shitty guy a well life even tho her life is not well because of him.

as i've said, i went through depression too. so i understand her. i would have understand her wanting to have some time alone for herself, i'll let her have that. but then spending that time crying because of a guy who doesn't care about her? she's supposed to spend that time for herself not for someone else. and that's what makes me somehow mad. the fact that she cares about a person who cares a little about her. because when i went through depression, all i want is for someone to give a little care for me. i know we went through different and we face this differently, but i just don't understand her way.

i know i sound selfish. but let it be selfish. because i don't want to think of her this way. i want to think of her as someone who's going through something and i don't want that something to be that shitty guy. i don't want to think that the reason of her self harming is that shitty guy. who doesn't care about her and is miles and miles away from her and is just causing her pain.",1.6306377262443448,3.66525791101056,2.741860624057317,93.85598098133488,79.99547511312217,5.410718325791856,21.520762631975867,6.401486528781402,0.2296063536953241,2517,74,545,21,64,803,198,663,0.211,0.6890000000000001,0.1,-0.9985,4,1,3,0,0,0,68.0,13,0,2,1,41,46,5,1,21,0,52,6,2,6,8,123,128,38,0,21,24,1,2,3,3,2,4,7,1,22,46,33,0,1,30,1,2,7,24,23,2,1,14,12,126,23,78,101,6,42,1,7,3,0,134,12,2,5,22,397,172,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035443022733078824,0.07552827413201743,0.02736682034325568,0.02847492450114336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033938407350414534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03215210727693202,0.0,0.0,0.2503323827708738,0.0,0.029119868664834805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838006856764149,0.03515477770564635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036228926488662,0.0,0.0,0.14737409597105358,0.0,0.0,0.0715081041527892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0285875667018969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04520578942176215,0.030955191902351777,0.028832983465732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130432843887058,0.0,0.03460670976122638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931804575393207,0.0,0.0,0.06565652025875744,0.019448795418720456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5421526469893326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04055249283990578,0.0,0.0,0.03432682826105763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284303277215382,0.0,0.0,0.036235493782814085,0.0,0.10498102014249452,0.04834313686236788,0.05015650409618506,0.06859761384876553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037356672130369716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022843032810961932,0.0,0.0,0.03727710851563235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02537471512871665,0.07918089969526536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02318928861013703,0.07808069077326306,0.07282790922976846,0.0,0.037998785888373854,0.03705841308416635,0.0,0.0,0.029880783708755423,0.0,0.0,0.032350259660205466,0.0,0.0,0.0348154400613634,0.0,0.03274523312392702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074108772013133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510472638759812,0.05442842013984939,0.0,0.0,0.02727000434135524,0.0,0.10710106914320976,0.0,0.0,0.028308274123242556,0.0,0.0,0.03488438109088076,0.14497829526069084,0.07903585659772422,0.0,0.0,0.07266619374664958,0.03647543127774133,0.08198770020407793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032253239906562155,0.0,0.0,0.055011688114959316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022735160208112226,0.15349372217212615,0.0,0.0,0.0997737916077742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21375394266310604,0.1646563969358604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229544475344686,0.05432666745450558,0.0,0.0,0.06153824991412496,0.1268942258148997,0.030879467149713083,0.0,0.03935289110764581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02430988215872557,0.03741570019737349,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DEKS420,2019/01/30,"Pls help girlfirend with mental illnes So first it would mean a lot if anyone hellped my girlfrind has had depression for 3 years and she is bipolar.We have been together for 2 months and a lot has happened,but the thing i want to improve in its talking to her and hellping.When she tells me that she wants to kill herself and stuff like that i tell her the usual thing like dont u matter,or there is so much more to see in lofe but i dont know what to say else.She also often is angry and sad but doesnt know why and I want to help but dont know how beacause i dont know the issue.This is my first time dealing with someone that has an menatl illnes.So if anyone could tell my what kind of things i should say or do it would mean a lot thanks",3.089920948616601,3.651943254658388,3.6771880293619432,94.76791078486734,72.9751552795031,6.351439864483344,23.33201581027668,5.565023196281405,0.11723105590062087,588,14,139,2,11,185,93,161,0.08800000000000001,0.794,0.118,-0.09,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,1,0,7,0,20,0,0,1,0,32,31,16,1,9,6,0,0,2,0,3,0,2,0,0,12,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,2,3,16,4,13,25,5,8,0,2,1,0,15,2,0,7,8,93,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013790271819347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576254742164483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999351412572232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162039036435476,0.09708100363288467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5284031431804531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175012790754767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110057136958402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247021125046422,0.1173750122461446,0.24778019959606504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101334153353275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874780148183773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455586976384469,0.0,0.0,0.1135899041113706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996779603398479,0.0,0.08285827164405979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17927050267934266,0.0,0.0,0.0898190205370921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550279725995414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290313616678696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059580414302344,0.2955528406578184,0.10377254958827477,0.0,0.0,0.2246479094119235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657248464305661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413931487734572,0.0,0.19944614643625289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170748267496248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601385740564461,0.0,0.0,0.07258456957280593
mentalhealth,cp1976,2019/01/30,"For the Canadians out there, what is everyone's take on Bell Let's Talk Day? I personally don't think it's helping. Talking has not created more mental health care where it's needed. Canada has a severely damaged health care system. The initiative was inaugurated in 2011. That's 8 years of talking!!!  Hashtags, or texts have never in my experience helped me, or any of my loved ones, or bumped them up in the wait list, or kept them in a program long enough to make any difference whatsoever.  I used to be totally on board with Bell Let's Talk.  Now I'm not so sure anymore.  


I've lost 3 people to suicide in the last 10 years.  In 8 of those 10 years we have been encouraging people through this initiative to talk more about mental health to reduce the stigma. While that's fine and dandy,  in my opinion, we have talked about mental health so much that I don't consider there to be that much of a stigma around the lack of discussion regarding mental health.   My concern is for those who desperately seek out mental health care, get turned away ,and then you wonder why they feel like they are a burden.  There ISN'T ENOUGH HELP.  Our healthcare system is broken.  


But if you throw someone with cancer in the mix,  they are helped right away.  There are tons of cancer awareness initiatives and fundraisers, and lots of corporate donations that pave the way for better healthcare when it comes to cancer treatment,  but when it comes to mental health,  it gets a backseat.

​

So this is why I've decided I will no longer participate in the initiative.  I've done enough talking,  my loved ones who also suffer, they completely agree with me.

​

Actions speak louder than words.  We need a better health care system and voting for a government who will give our healthcare system a complete do-over will change this.  What a pipe dream that is.",5.421954382826479,7.225796284883728,5.211860465116279,81.26158318425762,68.70930232558139,8.19928443649374,27.474955277280856,8.730908602173464,2.0718648479427544,1478,49,265,25,26,456,177,344,0.108,0.79,0.102,0.6711,0,0,0,0,0,1,48.0,5,2,6,3,15,16,0,0,18,0,26,13,0,2,3,42,50,20,1,4,9,0,1,1,0,3,11,1,0,1,21,16,0,2,4,1,1,4,7,4,0,2,5,2,24,12,43,38,11,40,0,3,0,2,34,19,0,8,13,175,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501232980691716,0.0,0.1358224260405156,0.1523204225042832,0.08524590943457548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062159391784695026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05579640139620131,0.0,0.0,0.11777544021410602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108665848269762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556161861303935,0.0,0.0663046482433998,0.10798249986987736,0.13143265757791492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04042190229042937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654848092298549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414100229543193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942883172655033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05989118535692416,0.0,0.0613107735018756,0.0,0.0,0.031691705627444916,0.04477692926495394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549297563907988,0.06012611793838379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5329873307172263,0.0,0.0,0.16804604386809469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051090654310862654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281842975839107,0.0,0.030621136268762363,0.0,0.0,0.05546775233582346,0.0,0.0,0.06842006446409417,0.053286300917992815,0.11313806149673045,0.0,0.04183782142121889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789860058685616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215057643610623,0.09294937401307732,0.048340871500977316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494400229469036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690558826667498,0.05472771076759366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053526374916307864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080790967961335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531065736959304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855918158928452,0.0,0.05907294809027831,0.0,0.0471257962394491,0.35264547438514504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0401613105196152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817529031254757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05413336982986352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049750605144707936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311366952746475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797124321195998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523204225042832,0.12108706458240935
mentalhealth,KirumiIsFedUp,2019/01/30,Lazy and insecure I’ll start off by saying I hate taking care of myself. I hate showers because my body is repulsive looking and I’m sad every second I’m in there. I don’t even shower every day or every other day because it causes me nothing but sadness. I’ve been eating when I feel like it instead of when I’m actually hungry. I hardly ever brush my hair and my teeth because I always feel too tired. I’ve been trying to go to sleep at normal hours so I don’t feel this way but my mind is racing with negative thoughts and I can’t concentrate on sleep because I’m arguing with myself in my head. I also avoid learning new things that require movement and focus because most of the time it causes me anxiety. I just think to myself “What’s the point of all this if I’m never gonna get anywhere in life?” and give up on half of the things I try anymore. What to do when I’m a lazy person who hates herself? ,2.3311315789473674,3.9582296263157923,4.319144736842105,85.24713815789475,76.42105263157895,6.223684210526316,24.50657894736842,6.9077264865688965,1.017815789473684,719,24,142,7,16,246,113,190,0.184,0.772,0.044,-0.978,2,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,11,10,4,2,4,0,8,9,6,2,3,29,30,15,0,2,5,0,5,1,0,1,2,1,2,1,12,8,1,2,6,0,0,2,5,8,0,2,3,8,22,2,20,26,2,23,0,2,1,0,6,9,0,3,12,93,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.12003802595991205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836942208127752,0.10235247762993337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941007535837123,0.0,0.12199084422469282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749225569584765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663411466555744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254148144320357,0.25272612038412745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15865991747981248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586785321632424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124559821657477,0.11126774318887253,0.3109185376483168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865895633826506,0.08787691201582895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426658272874053,0.1180004449313624,0.06990825903485033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019097195463574,0.3643346856236228,0.12624165592622522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113806365501052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688416073004224,0.06009547644038307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032957070100752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420297512233365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487132283063328,0.11880185537913407,0.0,0.0,0.12052168485310805,0.11802945625589407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074058070283018,0.0,0.0,0.11628228296305974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782086787574906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461935920347898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706566801266041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248667824685433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344204716120111,0.07881853465406992,0.0,0.09765458102174536,0.07172693134394996,0.14137955612715913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670286623174499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763799400280834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_uniqueusername1234,2019/01/30,"I feel like I’m in a dream-like state while on Wellbutrin and other side effects. Has anyone experienced this? I’m on day five of Wellbutrin 100 mg in the morning and then 100mg mid day. It has definitely been helping my depression. I get a sense of well-being and gives me energy, BUT I’m getting other side effects. It feels like my head is fogged while I’m on it. Almost as if I’m in awake dream like state. Or as if it wakes my unconscious hah. It’s hard to explain. I’ve also been having trouble sleeping through the night, I wake up and feel wide awake and have to force myself to go back to sleep. I got like 5 hours of sleep yesterday when I’m used to getting like 8 and I didn’t feel tired AT ALL the next day. And my pupils look 2x their size at all times. 
What’s been your experience on Wellbutrin? Will this side effects subside? The side effect that bugs the most is the head change. ",1.317156196943973,3.4633714569892504,2.5655291454442555,94.10513582342956,81.74193548387096,5.421165817770232,21.079796264855688,6.5966054737557815,0.21179999999999974,705,21,156,7,19,226,104,186,0.061,0.816,0.123,0.857,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,4,3,7,0,0,8,1,11,8,7,5,2,25,30,18,0,2,4,0,5,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,9,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,5,7,13,5,21,24,3,32,0,1,1,0,5,16,0,5,18,85,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590446902397075,0.0,0.0,0.11652180000376905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188169143212758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203965514597733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413863930652907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28190679759085224,0.0,0.1254971876241906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252936185888934,0.0,0.0,0.2946952596617504,0.20818615684042144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22837761190027103,0.13977538907657072,0.08280862086533383,0.0,0.11653516322997985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052481273815206,0.0,0.2990747464557881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766430117986423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349200114635527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559252935903082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223571457350946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549610006263294,0.1367361076675324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4374365512117898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496289773907828,0.16746871146664902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584402734513975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100805207066646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hoppybird6,2019/01/30,"How to survive second semester when I see my mental health is spiraling?? I’m absolutely miserable at my current college, an extremely small LAC in a town with nothing to do. I know I’m going to transfer, but not until next fall, and even then I’m still terrified it will be even worse. Everything is stressing me out, from classes to dance team to my sorority. I have no friends, nobody who cares about me here and I can’t stop thinking about just ending it all because right now my life seems hopeless. In high school I would always tell myself that if life gets worse in college, I just need to end it... I don’t know what to do about it anymore...
Dance team is particularly stressful because I’m on their competition team, which competes every weekend until mid March, but I’m an alternate (aka I do everything except at competitions I just have to sit and watch the team, I don’t get to perform). We practice every morning and I waste every weekend at competition, and its driving me crazy because I’m doing all this work, but if the team were to win nationals I wouldn’t want a medal or anything... because I didn’t dance... it just all feels so pointless. The team would be better off without me. But I love dancing, so I don’t know what to do... Also my sorority is a joke, our meetings are at 10pm once a week and I don’t want to go to anything anymore, no one wants me there.
I try talking to my parents and they say my only options are 1. to stick it out until the end of the semester or 2. quit dance and my sorority and just focus on classes, but I would still have to stay in the dorms (which are excruciatingly lonely) and find a job to pay back the 2,000 dollars I’d lose from my dance scholarship. Neither options seem very good...
I need help, I don’t know what to do. My mom found an appointment with a therapist but its not until March. I got put on antidepressants by my normal doctor during winter break and I don’t think its doing anything. My ideal situation would be to take the semester off and maybe work, after all I am already a year ahead with my AP credits, but my dad would never let me and my mom would feel embarrassed having a daughter living at home. I was also thinking about commuting to classes, but again, my parents would never.
Sorry for the lengthy post, I’m just freaking out because I don’t seem to have any other option. I dread everyday I wake up. I don’t want to live like this anymore. Everyone tells me to suck it up but I can’t... what should I do??",4.4250408332347,5.3277692132796775,5.51973547165345,81.52444638418748,70.14688128772636,8.181062847674283,30.31181204876317,8.405096225971981,2.20057964256125,1957,78,385,29,34,649,234,497,0.142,0.772,0.086,-0.9865,4,2,0,0,0,1,70.0,2,0,2,18,25,20,1,5,20,0,48,6,1,1,6,85,84,37,0,19,23,6,2,1,1,10,4,1,2,0,21,20,0,1,14,15,4,11,20,10,0,2,5,5,58,10,62,65,5,69,0,4,2,1,25,25,1,10,30,270,79,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360126679383732,0.1211679136116079,0.06303704903923703,0.0,0.0,0.051518302805300134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253958968399492,0.0,0.0,0.18702809886448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05825352532900713,0.0,0.23090805573226075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700213917583032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724072724632289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754192193062846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012983407573988,0.0,0.0,0.1000754036950167,0.0,0.19148913205412135,0.0723903878333172,0.1361735113168386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661143615033908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924179563080794,0.0,0.0,0.08306516392332729,0.058530743891130124,0.0,0.0791612635251151,0.0,0.08611047734400436,0.06354254287812308,0.0605909048371553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052762554065024,0.0,0.0,0.0507792516418261,0.08004289805436747,0.07599184174717906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517851198338991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665393187213747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746808617111331,0.10702078205620066,0.0370117224626994,0.0,0.13379209197934994,0.0,0.0,0.08475425973562696,0.0,0.0,0.06837490443417256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610948498973054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763466381703341,0.0,0.0,0.17745462060054742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234777193957823,0.11685908085810573,0.0,0.08056990681766013,0.0,0.07422713679531855,0.07269221805238797,0.0,0.0,0.08068021245552909,0.051335845446878484,0.05761766910735858,0.0,0.0,0.16824145253700046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255559569977607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615810617250295,0.0,0.08057837264197103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469725079594026,0.0,0.06024611214238895,0.0,0.07667153483959402,0.06036962805282215,0.20690277786302896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515560408138127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480531474529801,0.0,0.08074836335702931,0.1210014956181582,0.06333740595577851,0.17356195869033225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05696088074391727,0.06089172389718999,0.13243234342254726,0.0,0.0,0.08796132942247625,0.0,0.14562875123023966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051434973638508234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625086054942624,0.17873704411272945,0.0,0.060768810474980776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302838414615885,0.0,0.11030601983819437,0.0,0.15440854247962954,0.376716104585734,0.0,0.0,0.0487859190768498
mentalhealth,CreamyLemon1,2019/01/30,"I think my friend (f13) is faking depression and anxiety Hello everyone, I know this is a very touchy and sensitive subject for some people but I feel like I need to know if this person needs professional help and guidance or if she need some other form of help. I just want to help my friend through whatever she is going through in the best way possible. We have been friends since yr 3 and she was a happy, cheerful person who liked socialising and trying out lots of extra-curricular activities. She never was stressed or was scared about acting, socialising, doing sport or doing public speaking. Her name is Sasha (not real name). Skip forward to yr 6 and we meet a new girl who shared similar interests to us. Her name is Lucy (again not real name). We grew quite close and it appeared that Lucy had had bipolar and depression. I asked if she got any professional help or went to a therapist and she told me that they wouldn’t understand her. I asked how she diagnosed herself and she said she took a online quiz/test that would she what mental illness you have. I told her if she truly felt that way she needed to get help and that I would always be there if she needed it. I then started getting messages till 5am in the morning from Lucy telling me that she was going to kill her self and that she was mentally unstable. This repeated for about 6 months and I started to get stressed. With a combination of other contributors to my stress, I started to break. I started pulling out my hair, picking scabs till they would scar, bitting nails and toenails and I started just crying in the middle of class. My parents knew about this but just assumed it was just my studies and I was ok. Lucy kept messaging me through all this still. It all ended when my Sasha told her to go kill herself if she was just going to repeat it over and over. Lucy did not kill herself and then blamed me for not being there for her and told me I should die. It went back to just me and Sasha being friends. Year 7, my mental health was still not in a good place and I had my panic attack according to my teacher and nurse while in class. I was also sent to the hospital for a violent isolated left hand tremor that had the most plausible cause being my high levels of anxiety and have had a psychiatrist diagnose me with anxiety, OCD and low spectrum autism. Year 8, Sasha started taking the self diagnose tests on mental illness. Her personality started to switch. She started making edgy jokes about how low her will to live is and how her life sucks. She started acting like she hated everyone in our class but when there was a social or a disco she would always force me to go, she started talking about how much hand sanitiser she needed to get rid of the germs when she spoke someone’s hand yet didn’t even use the hand sanitiser, started not participating in PE because she felt anxious going in the pool at school yet when we have a catch up at a friends house is okay to swim, started biting nails and then always made note to other people that she was biting her nails, has been for councillor but left because they asked if she wanted to go see a psychiatrist, often makes random conversations about death, she told me she was Poly and I said that it was great that she could tell me and be open about it then doesn’t know the difference between bisexual and poly. This was all observations from last year. I decided to move schools but still keep in contact. Today Sasha said that she had a panic attack during drama. I asked if she was ok because I had been through it before and it was not a nice feeling. She said that it wasn’t that bad and she just collapsed on the floor and was sent to the nurse. I don’t remember my panic attack being like that at all. My knees did give in, but I felt like I couldn’t breathe and really nauseous. I asked another friend and she said she just looked like she fell over and she didn’t look to stressed at all. I don’t know if I’m overthinking things or if I should try and reach out and persist on taking her to get some help

Thanks!",4.6144540592251175,6.014298010088275,4.964687785363309,83.82029949558641,70.16015132408575,7.991033613079967,27.543788320215683,8.433251757073789,1.8323390616167328,3234,110,630,50,58,1023,309,793,0.14800000000000002,0.706,0.147,-0.6948,1,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,6,1,3,3,36,48,9,8,28,3,66,17,8,10,6,149,149,75,5,27,37,1,10,6,6,8,9,7,0,6,39,48,0,2,15,5,0,22,16,23,0,0,56,20,113,25,80,77,14,101,0,4,3,0,119,36,1,25,48,440,152,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03723219010841716,0.11621925262618266,0.0,0.0,0.031660844640080975,0.04881982656152487,0.10684958006196084,0.052596968992997616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176259065922624,0.15889837588323366,0.0,0.035800011156209365,0.038873749650628314,0.08514345792381361,0.0,0.03961718871474451,0.0,0.04885945245420799,0.0,0.050828969500685627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04782760110011594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03717254923191287,0.0,0.051141466827609824,0.0,0.0,0.08020018824879847,0.14176531062172307,0.04831956056668927,0.04864290580190237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04123631891311976,0.0,0.0,0.030750933514402782,0.0,0.0,0.08897578910111427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047081962050967034,0.033260842903098824,0.13410813095595134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158222637118541,0.0,0.12162242977282885,0.044662405304488284,0.1852187676642444,0.039050404779502286,0.03723646005772044,0.051330048244020585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049561556341464384,0.0,0.045966107459087885,0.0,0.04948867689047489,0.0,0.0,0.18723994110373146,0.049190785057858136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053721355388985606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04138263878366459,0.15452764995685658,0.0,0.1023476164661216,0.037950753987503916,0.0,0.0,0.10117019324397966,0.0,0.03288509296149353,0.13647449519234928,0.0,0.041111317799407715,0.0,0.07819351419193643,0.0,0.0,0.03958170675870335,0.0,0.0440540383063213,0.062155276323881965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767691622440225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037161926166011376,0.04948348592441895,0.034225279586894905,0.20713174693357486,0.03590818216405326,0.044965733976294976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387635127306044,0.05169683588885162,0.0,0.0,0.0645545187262684,0.12195721011926575,0.04864290580190237,0.0,0.0,0.052486831400336234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049519863789176194,0.0,0.10598575128907113,0.029826066204861605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052740818389240524,0.0,0.2214352562168324,0.0,0.04661239758309455,0.0942377920346866,0.03710047324313718,0.0,0.09713970706471277,0.0,0.0,0.03851302528309604,0.0,0.0,0.047459730151304516,0.039448203211306085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954455075300093,0.0,0.11154316074218046,0.0,0.21332683377750686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001121922090224,0.037421329997254886,0.08138699495340823,0.042864091328873866,0.0,0.054057098808260734,0.030930878940138292,0.029832305651673975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044131272628796035,0.22243947275278567,0.05172733756278877,0.06321926852248459,0.0,0.0,0.04846822618189047,0.05600320201972026,0.04021091975897673,0.0,0.03841499310839778,0.05492189646140906,0.07391069862163907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631894169548798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229306769208882,0.0,0.0,0.08994493143649122
mentalhealth,yuyuotrain,2019/01/30,"I can't do activities I love anymore because they make me anxious. Any suggestions? I used to love watching movies, series and anime, and reading books. However I can't do them anymore because they make me anxious. I can't even remember the last time I read a book or watched a movie. I don't exactly know why but I used to do those in a bad period of my life. So I guess they remind me of bad times. 
You might suggest seeing a psychologist but I don't have any time, energy, or money for that. And it feels like a problem I can solve on my own, if I knew how to.
I know it sounds like a first world problem but they used to bring pleasure to my life and I need that again. So if you have any suggestions I'll appreciate that.",1.2580353200883039,3.2997686225165563,3.2618278145695387,89.60673730684326,81.31788079470199,6.675673289183223,23.973951434878586,7.793537801064563,1.208080441501104,566,21,124,10,15,191,81,151,0.155,0.7170000000000001,0.129,-0.4621,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,5,1,5,9,0,0,7,0,12,4,0,6,1,28,27,14,0,5,7,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,5,4,1,1,5,4,0,1,1,5,27,5,10,25,1,11,0,0,3,2,12,3,0,6,9,80,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28203190105904064,0.0,0.0,0.3123526514357829,0.27420172299162177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308558650260081,0.16854447029989406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130883206053136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699003001645225,0.09876151296051958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759024212798755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229130818616166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519505305314349,0.11268727893390698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529159523626188,0.13507803219727202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495411434026772,0.0,0.18455783415079452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665499551452982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250614498312184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26456159977210736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27656274243730594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660345812860024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016253796448823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418334951824828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581951862585478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474367182423325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KKGamesOfficial,2019/01/30,"I don't think what I have is a Paracosm, but what is it? For years now I've been developing a kind of story in my head, it follows my imaginary version of myself but kinda changed, and some side characters. It isn't nearly as detailed as people say paracosms are but I am and have been developing this story in my free time (not intentionally usually). When I'm walking or lying in bed or doing some menial task I start thinking about it and I get really deep in to it. Although it mostly follows the imaginary version of myself and I haven't built entire families or anything. It also has changed as I grew older, but is still just as vivid. Sometimes I even take a walk and listen to some music to make me start thinking about it and I do that for like an hour and go back home because it has proved to be really calming for my anxiety. Is this a bad practice? And is this just a weaker paracosm or something else? Thanks! :) (side note: I have had no traumatic experiences so this isnt any escapism)",3.5261363636363647,5.238620035353538,5.0291792929292924,81.0471022727273,73.39393939393939,7.576262626262628,28.536616161616163,8.278499904357787,2.0999585858585856,789,32,149,13,16,265,112,198,0.114,0.7929999999999999,0.093,-0.6589,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,0,7,0,22,1,1,2,1,30,36,24,0,0,11,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,16,8,0,0,4,0,1,6,6,1,0,0,3,3,17,6,21,32,6,25,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,9,12,115,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382236943591964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230109701361765,0.0,0.13758130382155587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799751038605008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382900768213035,0.15016346788442525,0.10963213843462144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38050535309232303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502378255092928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118786246727076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592339404362106,0.16954231748786555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396184310160964,0.0,0.10221033370740763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845733531078606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039968523204308,0.0,0.1771115756820009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872813973339021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878634196599738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004825780882668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246822146907284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304272458882848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430203481986905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384538408640714,0.1778717833736325,0.0,0.2545911199875854,0.0,0.14362483669460802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522142272757945,0.0,0.0,0.16557755965160384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457131749757331,0.0,0.0,0.10486934862472704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807439342836972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581459592070405
mentalhealth,ahhokayegg,2019/01/30,"Coping skills that have helped me SO MUCH Hey! Here is a list of coping skills that have helped me personally with a lot of my symptoms ! Please comment your favorite coping skills below and we can make a nice list! 

1) self portraits!
When I am afraid of my reflection or don't recognize myself I draw what I think I look like. It's usually an ugly horrible picture but it helps me process the emotions and rationalize that I don't actually look the way I think. 

2) cry- list! 
As someone who deals with emotional numbness I often don't cry or feel anything at home, which leads to outbursts in school/ public. To help that I have a go-to list of movies, books, and songs that make me cry! (My favorite book to cry with is the little Prince, and my favorite song is ""I love you"" from the 25th annual Putnam county spelling bee musical!)

3) math/ numbers ! 
When I start to feel too overwhelmed with my surroundings I like to close my eyes, take deep breaths and go through basic addition and subtraction problems! Just simple stuff, or even counting in general. It takes the focus away from the situation and helps me calm down.

4) layers/ comfy clothes ! 
This is more of a preventative strategy but I learned the hard way that uncomfortable or too much clothing can be a huge factor for me when having sensory issues. I always make sure I have on a thin tee-shirt under any sweater or jacket so if I start to get too hot it can be taken off, and I always have a jacket or something with me in case of feeling too vulnerable. It sounds silly but it's really important that everything I wear is the correct texture / temperature/smell so I don't freak out! 

5) no bed box! 
I really struggle with not laying in my bed for entire days/ weeks at a time. So next to a chair in my room I have a box with a few activities in it like knitting, coloring, reading, ect. With a little list of things I can do in it. I have the mental agreement of ""you can get back in bed when you do (activity)"" and I usually can stay out of bed for a bit longer this way! I also try to keep my phone out of my bed (this is the hardest one) but it helps so much when I can push through it! 

Hope these help someone! 





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mentalhealth,Potataone,2019/01/30,"disconnected. Hey!  
So, I don't know how to start this but here we go anyways. Ever since I thought about death, I feel disconnected with the world. 
I really can't think. I feel like my reflexes are dying and just feel like weird. the experience has been really weird. it feels like its a flash and I can't think clearly. 
Idk if i have started to feel more aware or less. but I defenitly don't feel real.  my thoughts are puzzled. fuck, I can barely write here because I can't think clearly. but one of my major things i have noticed are:
-Colors dont feel right. 
-no sense of time.  
-always feel tired ( getting sleep of 8 hours) 
-cannot concentrate at lectures. 
-everything feels like flash (like you see in a movie you know when they have to show multiple scene at once)
-conversations feel weird. cant hear that nicely(feels like im going deaf as i will def miss a couple of sentences) 
I will be sitting and listening and suddenly I will either forget, or didnt even hear a part of the conversation i am at.
and my memory is going shit (how will it go to shit when i cant think?) anyways, I might have felt this before this thought of death, but i just feel more aware and I CAN'T break out of it. feels like im going fucking crazy (or was I always crazy?)
i have been thinking for a while whether I am crazy, and others know it and they are just hiding it from me?
sorry for the horrible writing because I can't think clearly.",1.7415125954633552,4.186714508833924,2.8975310612105325,90.54853755841788,82.35689045936397,5.9130970021657365,22.556594095520342,7.233258080335977,0.8293247235837233,1118,38,230,16,31,358,142,283,0.276,0.711,0.013,-0.9976,0,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,1,2,2,0,15,15,4,0,9,0,35,7,3,2,4,61,75,24,3,1,13,0,13,7,0,5,2,4,0,0,12,11,0,0,25,1,0,5,13,8,0,1,8,19,33,7,22,61,6,23,0,1,2,2,13,7,4,6,16,150,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348588734655131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879904197539986,0.0,0.06895668298340232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966611323779176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410381271335465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497498722951164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352430201608842,0.07330278097299803,0.0,0.0,0.07283100419485636,0.07926992504545384,0.0,0.0,0.5326729189683577,0.34735792330102344,0.07780841407342971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983515911970355,0.042338588908479316,0.0,0.2302765227985553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266961332018164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980531188201864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506815002948886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360776669902666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771347557260904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596765608483578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226138189223003,0.0,0.08630196629238182,0.0549128995636874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877553835261202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223806748405386,0.10382900244333378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920532045547889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457615128579447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636702915075688,0.0670348038650662,0.0,0.08109571757579516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071450349238604,0.11471708528798598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053837510501579436,0.3115521686758399,0.0,0.19300343905140252,0.04725343920426204,0.09314033285691052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,catejustate,2019/01/30,"Do you feel like you don’t fit in? My whole life I’ve never quite “fitted in”. There’s always been something about me that just seems to strange and foreign to people. Will this ever change? It’s been a recurring thing from school to uni, jobs, holidays, trips etc. ",2.6099999999999994,4.8736692307692335,2.7621538461538457,93.78284615384615,77.84615384615384,5.6984615384615385,20.015384615384615,6.742157984588678,0.15118769230769225,208,5,43,2,5,63,45,52,0.034,0.815,0.151,0.7319,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,2,6,7,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,7,4,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,4,28,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334675654958205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968196512904179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129242572740931,0.0,0.2538034224676458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187121510101902,0.20044857913264533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27843537154531833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19818409827978825,0.13707870006406614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21640293708101066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945209505509356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29843459963721203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839650150927284,0.0,0.2554322607537076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160065314777398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640690354533807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31326094285786016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UnizikmataUpdates,2019/01/30,"How Stress Can Shrink Your Brain  

A lot of people have lived their lives believing this phrase “the  thing that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” so much so that you can  easily find a person bragging about how tough work has been and how  difficult it has been caring for the kids and plowing through the normal  daily activities that they have to engage in.  

People get stressed about natural disasters, politics, climate  change, and even what football club will win the champion’s league.

All of the above goes to prove that stress can be an almost  unavoidable part of our lives and at the same time if you become  stressed and you remain so, there is no benefit attached to that kind of  lifestyle.

Try to recall the last prolonged stressful situation you had to deal  with. In not talking about an event you had to host and for you stressed  for about an hour or two, neither am I talking about getting your tooth  removed by the dentist that made you keep your mouth open for a few  hours. I’m talking about something like caring for a sick patient, doing  a high intensity job, or even having to cold with a mean boss for a  year or two.

During this stressful period of your life, did you find out  challenging to remember things the way you used to, or find out  difficult to keep track of your keys or even recall the correct words  for a thing?

Did you known that more stress will result to less grey matter?

[**Read More Here**](https://unizikmata.com.ng/2018/12/how-stress-can-shrink-your-brain.html)",9.06940041710115,8.545905981751831,7.158915537017728,78.59554744525548,60.350364963503644,10.310323253388948,34.16996871741397,9.424239791934726,2.8657735140771634,1205,40,220,17,14,351,158,274,0.151,0.759,0.09,-0.945,1,1,1,0,0,0,39.0,1,17,2,3,16,20,1,8,21,0,21,6,3,8,3,43,32,18,1,2,7,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,14,11,0,2,7,2,0,1,4,12,0,2,7,2,21,8,39,22,10,16,0,0,1,0,26,7,0,8,8,152,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402637424533699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164563962589669,0.0,0.083289471039621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650520948826706,0.0,0.0,0.1507453014461923,0.0,0.0782040788421465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621462859715286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648260155466936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027015227683273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724673859491032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810705068424173,0.0,0.0,0.1456047597325794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336031039086184,0.1314179418409996,0.08178834696444734,0.07698272333747802,0.0,0.060259690137505276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05221623561563902,0.0361165893861262,0.0,0.19583447057883507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284938067840322,0.0,0.0699507234696528,0.0493462882571637,0.0,0.0,0.08052726437109663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054344236308318465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243194432915394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005483113988106,0.0,0.10250218735315753,0.06454947460105295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394616908189518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374393232821002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830961052848679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056911972454194125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7621395358253222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782571501143627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14733977469015333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043106940500691575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050191012451808535,0.0,0.1444302399146951,0.0,0.0,0.06384846966723988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05867914769562984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381912756598842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04760602560172925
mentalhealth,tomobediant,2019/01/30,"Hypervigilance and anxiety Hi guys, anyone ever get that thing where they hear something they didn’t wanna hear, then constantly overthink about it and then go over the sentence word for word again and again trying to analyse it in your head when really you don’t wanna think about it. Then all negative thoughts generally start going through your mind? Can’t stop going over it in my head right now and I just feel like I need to talk to someone or find a way to stop my head going over it and forget about it. Ever gone through this or know how to get past it/calm your mind? Message me, any advice helps",6.357469733656174,6.611202567796612,6.0842857142857145,81.46567796610174,65.69491525423729,9.115738498789346,28.721549636803875,8.841846274778883,1.9975820823244559,485,14,95,7,7,151,76,118,0.099,0.848,0.053,-0.6868,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,2,0,12,1,0,0,2,0,3,3,3,1,3,28,18,12,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,9,5,0,2,5,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,3,3,11,1,18,15,1,27,0,0,0,0,13,7,0,2,15,64,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443458218979628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045156703080986,0.0,0.11300191004401555,0.0,0.0,0.10328607272479286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15962791766587733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672341512216309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468936663991453,0.10552794242741728,0.0,0.0,0.13500923936543532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435044510858045,0.0,0.3358003628212068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626151295938544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4547959831403111,0.0,0.3329720811519011,0.0,0.09901054814151386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118054471354066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216630435087021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983009782060313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095291297386222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410111052732325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463029564442364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614818173647033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251588160130458,0.11371856521190295,0.0,0.0,0.10455375127188897,0.0,0.0,0.24699345022949604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872807820934025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981355770668164,0.0946500917748438,0.0,0.11726956224838722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028908991243017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724964354688446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jauchey,2019/01/30,"Uncontrollable crying - help I am an extremely sensitive person when it comes to crying. It doesn’t matter what emotion, I’ll cry. The smallest things trigger it too for example a video on good sportsmanship...wtf. But it’s coming to a point where crying is affecting every part of my life at work, uni, boyfriend... 

I can’t apologize to someone sincerely without crying

Can’t go talk to my professors about things without     crying

Can’t have serious chats/meetings with my boss without crying 

I’m always crying and then I start thinking about how I’m always crying and then I feel bad for my bf who has to deal with it and then I just keep crying and thinking about the cycle and I just get trapped in it. 

I’m thankful for my bf because he always gets me to snap out of it and then I become really happy again....for a couple days then back to the cycle of crying for no freaking reason. Recently when I’m in these dark places I have extremely negative thoughts which frightens me because that’s not who I am.

‘I’m just so annoyed because it’s embarrassing and I appear weak. I’m determined to stop this uncontrollable crying.

Anyone else have issues like this...? ",3.259661638809625,5.775256174887892,4.44928047289034,81.21744292702816,76.9372197309417,7.103872808805544,26.279861394211174,8.150884317080207,2.0132080717488794,929,36,162,17,22,304,122,223,0.287,0.62,0.093,-0.9935,0,1,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,13,13,1,3,7,0,11,2,0,5,0,33,30,17,0,0,8,0,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,18,12,0,2,5,1,0,4,10,8,0,0,1,1,17,5,28,29,1,24,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,1,13,108,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641752763299153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04661530524779682,0.0683084964482678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051263015474836006,0.05566438572350611,0.1219192469545492,0.07362876189026832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485589989537352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376606617983801,0.8787703871767731,0.042994873879052,0.06873102797954071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05569194949497745,0.0749917055366326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056170050277714524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03370897481949168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966179392880209,0.0,0.03788854586653777,0.05591734303588408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096854854607429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044685665768957696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958330913852462,0.0,0.05925693271714522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04708906435868724,0.03257026060894765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219415668946945,0.0,0.0,0.058211288653256775,0.06965310770388991,0.0,0.06302211887890488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042708760249872434,0.06854505693779152,0.06582588628687291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05648696149428186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04718743681277969,0.0,0.0,0.05573682284993454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053584626283154004,0.0,0.061378265149666725,0.0,0.0,0.08858154366712097,0.08543538936895283,0.0,0.05292636554252378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19279460764528208,0.0,0.04853456653478472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itsJordanGrey,2019/01/30,"I am feeling down constantly. What should I do? Hello, the community of Reddit,

my name is Jordan (just for online things), and I am not sure where to go from that point in my life I'm in right now.

For the past year or two, I have a feeling that I am lost. Somehow I don't even know who I am. I feel this emptiness,  
anger, tension, anxiety, frustration and more feelings. Sometimes I feel nothing, just nothing.

As I noticed I am shutting down from outside as inside. Nothing makes me feel happy, sometimes I laugh but its just like I have to in certain situations. Sometimes I am laughing from joy, this doesn't happen often.

I thought moving away from people I know will help me to start something ""new"". I found a new job, a new place to live 300 km away from everyone I knew. After a month working as a Salesman, I feel exhausted even more inside than I was. I am not sure what to do as mine life savings aren't that big. I mostly spend all my money on food, as this is one thing I like to do and what keeps me not thinking about anything, and Netflix of course...

I remember when a few years ago I had so much energy, I wanted to try and do everything... But now? Now there is nothing. I just want to sleep more and more, I am tired even from small things. As my day goes round and round. Wake up at 7 am, go to work, go back at 17 pm make dinner and go to sleep.

I don't know what to do at this time. I don't know where to seek for help. And I don't know how to deal with it.

I'm sorry for my writing, as my English and my mother tongue is getting worse and worse.

Thank you, and have a nice day, Jordan.",1.8794952951240411,3.3721687245509,3.299867408041063,92.650254491018,77.32335329341319,5.969033361847734,23.305816937553463,6.5431188927421005,0.4624810949529508,1230,38,277,10,28,403,165,334,0.1,0.7709999999999999,0.129,0.9262,1,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,0,3,20,17,2,1,9,0,31,9,3,3,4,57,63,25,0,3,10,1,9,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,17,13,2,1,17,1,2,5,9,5,0,2,6,9,43,12,48,55,8,45,0,1,2,0,9,21,0,4,21,195,60,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869022216372527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790964693093078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305104979968027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668067373216887,0.06825949478692628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593002034024917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145000286162386,0.09151910402876184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589741886620253,0.0,0.0,0.08482458826352557,0.07978173881624909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141973406666354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734236397078267,0.0973329269220414,0.0,0.0,0.04637923477077907,0.0,0.201802642712713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849998871880617,0.09449848442673923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900279144147465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809161707958978,0.07890383061606572,0.0,0.0,0.2439313692578219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540330346703352,0.08673814888383348,0.0,0.07838650582447124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690413977521464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851079435974166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085624343334936,0.09434962840538012,0.06525697110397527,0.0,0.0,0.25720703861396904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407130504925037,0.10106648335176954,0.0,0.0,0.06015359336405299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474205762288052,0.06154270197348768,0.0,0.09274690336039187,0.0,0.08391738088812492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056034905101346,0.07581003258587195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978243342426872,0.17767041468873024,0.0,0.0,0.06834032814157141,0.26339065713925536,0.09937197632359973,0.06283264000947171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673314184519196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172850019076368,0.0,0.0,0.1769267188680653,0.05688093512672655,0.0,0.07047433591990453,0.05176314107488567,0.10202931830196213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06026974839916156,0.0,0.08671646372193828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471898706504787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925283308755506,0.0,0.18093066541325495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433135317025785
mentalhealth,ac96xoxo,2019/01/30,"How can I be better to those around me? I struggle with depression/ anxiety and I feel like it takes up a lot of my energy. I am very short tempered and can be very nasty sometimes without even meaning to. I take full responsibility for my actions of course, my issues don’t excuse my behavior, but I was wondering how I can go about being a better person overall, not just to those I love but everyone else as well. I feel like I am always so drained and don’t have the energy to be super nice and caring like I want to be. I know I need therapy and I am working on it— in the mean time, I’d like some input. Thank you :)",2.06875264270613,3.6915057131782953,4.351078224101482,84.75507399577168,77.13953488372094,7.4816067653276965,24.13037350246653,8.296473431620573,1.4589007751937983,483,16,102,9,11,168,81,129,0.064,0.588,0.34700000000000003,0.992,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,4,8,15,1,1,4,0,15,1,0,2,0,24,29,11,0,2,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,3,1,0,1,2,20,12,16,23,3,9,0,1,0,1,4,6,0,3,5,75,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399204538787468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318951858508324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433531785754822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848405441042903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418349508302127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386971653291478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345220962709017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063605311359516,0.0,0.0,0.15387357562011106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16284586899835538,0.2300834812410567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915185526964274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807622458295693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849932021361898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31468962914292303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369041805560593,0.14533823264208645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508234774041126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940365218860792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060747823117348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926538530328196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834626525646446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421529888945657,0.0,0.0,0.1482572071596996,0.1841548426523059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389941956188454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657375632957242,0.09498121538153012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478767055647013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15522970558194293,0.17463301435825224,0.11723367005580593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,backatthisagain,2019/01/30,"How to stop purging so it doesn't get worse? I'm so disappointed in myself for being like this. It was over a year since I haven't forced myself to throw up, now I'm back to this habit. I've done it three times this past two weeks, it started when I came back home from vacation, I saw that I gained 3kg and started to feel disgusted with my body all over again. I feel like I ""have"" to starve myself and throw up because I'm fat (although my weight is normal), I know that's a really disordered thinking but I don't know how to stop.",3.9415413533834567,3.890309219298248,4.838621553884714,89.37868421052633,70.84210526315789,8.268671679197995,25.057644110275692,7.957251820313856,1.0233223057644114,417,10,98,5,7,136,71,114,0.103,0.813,0.084,-0.4459,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,9,4,1,0,2,0,8,3,2,2,1,16,21,9,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,9,4,2,2,5,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,4,4,13,2,14,16,1,21,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,15,62,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035673206769819,0.0,0.12032943827087066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21926003065434588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257659395299312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22623041487344045,0.0,0.0,0.2020024077399927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19961648907961896,0.1410181818030028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313012188533446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19800209225289087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21696495828400766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928732957908562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340402929450248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188434733230397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645553327675013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328620465145474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794327183093932,0.0,0.0,0.3300601382668923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648198706950278,0.0,0.0,0.11510192168121125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19282507607786592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833741282118946,0.24037249004478714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116116263112524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711514588413128
mentalhealth,Samorsammyorsamual,2019/01/30,"How to stop obsessing Over something that doesn’t mean very much at all? I am recovering from a complete mental breakdown and I am abscessing not over what caused it but by a stupid sports competition that is being run terribly and used by a former best friend to hurt me. 
I have so many more important things to worry about that will have far greater impact on my life but I just can’t get over this and my mind continually returns to it.   how do I stop obsessing over it?",7.0138709677419335,6.507231247311831,7.143569892473121,76.9753548387097,64.48387096774194,10.880860215053763,32.578494623655914,10.355215969177356,3.0401888172043017,378,13,76,8,5,122,66,93,0.239,0.618,0.14300000000000002,-0.8786,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,2,3,0,10,1,0,4,1,16,13,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,9,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,3,5,0,0,0,0,8,2,14,11,5,13,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,5,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556667627374773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25026739614461085,0.0,0.0,0.2554335354581474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882221239298519,0.0,0.12728269079735585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608029038558671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207776259191274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469949569399789,0.0,0.2653763013984014,0.0,0.0,0.2455141594997201,0.0,0.24598925611673786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909055456500256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18755248763427051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073586044072301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185195064683744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21041160236310905,0.0,0.20101406043818024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474104544372908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vhsThrowawayboi,2019/01/30,"Creating horror and developing illness Hola, wanted to create some discussion about a topic I had in mind. There's probably better places to talk about this, but I'll start here first.
      First of all, I'm a haunted attraction enthusiast, and horror creator. I have created some pretty disturbing short ""films"", I make terrifying audio for haunts/morbid pleasure, and I create horrifying characters. All with the intent to terrify others, all in good health. In my life down the road, I intend creating my own attraction, what fuels me is to create an experience, that will change people's perception of fear, which is a massive statement to stand by. Anyway,
 I fear of developing issues further in my life from dwelling on creating things to do nothing more than scare people. I've also heard people discussing about bringing negative energy in their own life from causing fear to people so much as well. Does this passion in my life run the risk of me losing my mind, or bringing bad energy to my future? I am a very depressed and lonely person, so horror is my outlet to ""ignore"" that stuff, but it still is very impactful to anything I do. Just looking for discussion and anyone's input. Thank you for your time",8.556643835616438,8.62115084018265,8.71562785388128,65.08111301369864,61.14611872146119,11.500913242009132,35.60159817351598,11.038039088145766,4.24923105022831,970,38,148,23,12,319,135,219,0.25,0.5379999999999999,0.212,-0.9652,0,2,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,1,4,12,20,0,7,8,0,10,7,0,4,3,25,19,12,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,1,10,6,0,1,2,1,0,3,1,12,1,2,2,3,20,8,34,16,9,22,0,3,1,1,9,12,0,3,6,111,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122898065203287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851030253948727,0.0,0.10416764216983368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569214542030916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195304182616828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003638228905168,0.13390882509184202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902640001684497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077429431075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382319886487687,0.0,0.4273257397583023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21534414938256735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617244535890512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455260893470886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212054948070026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357639389941421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629847065403396,0.14161483949383155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449563732472426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556270088726407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305362255144244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214605239199825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35102894071575896,0.1105280495863897,0.1322530787455943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287811833511856,0.1364786942000703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673241835476162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895966311098964,0.0,0.10108994777330337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490811101538809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174322486092656,0.0,0.11654131167579625,0.0,0.0,0.08409662006624144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381200368593346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20888970446242136,0.07466237653594329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381399504550255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,S-E-N-T-I-E-N-T,2019/01/30,"Confused and Depressed (maybe?) To start off, I was diagnosed with ADD as a toddler, but I don't see how this can relate to my current situation.

It all started in November. I was preparing for semester finals along with the ACT, madrigal feast (singing renaissance pieces in front of a dining audience), and 2 orchestral performances. I had *way* to much stress. I taking the ACT to see if I was applicable for a high school that I was interested in. I'd say I have mild stage fright. It's not enough for me to have an anxiety attack during a performance, but I stop what I'm doing sometimes because of anxiety. This anxiety isn't just limited to performing with an instrument or presenting a project. Anything that reveals your skill level of anything can cause distress of varying degrees. This could be playing a video game, competing in math competitions, competitive running, artistic abilities, sharing personal thoughts with others, driving, or talking about academics. Maybe this background information is useful. 

​

Anyways, all of this sparked curiosity about anxiety, so I started reading about anxiety online. I started learning about multiple anxiety disorders and originally felt like I related to the ""performance only"" of S.A.D (Social Anxiety Disorder). I felt relieved that there was an explanation for what I was feeling and asked my parents if I could be screened. I've been struggling with stage fright for all of my life, and have been surrounded with comments like ""everybody has it, you just need to get over it"" and ""you're just being overdramatic"". This relief also followed with skepticism. I watched videos and read articles about people's experiences with social anxiety and I was beginning to question the severity of my proclaimed symptoms. I decided to question my mom about her experiences with anxiety, and her responses only weakened my confidence. I eventually decided that I wasn't suffering from SAD. I was uncomfortable with this, as the security of knowing where this anxiety was coming from faded. I felt like what I was feeling wasn't *enough.* Maybe this is normal and I'm just oversensitive. For a brief time I started looking into GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) since the symptoms were described as weaker than any other anxiety-related disorder. It didn't take long for this transition to occur, and I realized this. I swore to myself to never think of these things again, but that proved to be extremely difficult. If I experienced anxiety then there would be a storm of unwanted thoughts connecting what I felt to possible illnesses. These thoughts are completely unintentional and intrusive, and it scares me. I don't want them anymore and I find myself in a constant state of self-pity. I'm always saddened during the night, guaranteed. I tried to stop these thoughts at one point with self-talk like ""You're not suffering from anything, you're just sensitive. Get over it."" This hasn't helped in the slightest. My mental health has weakened so much that I started cutting myself somewhere in the beginning of December. This makes it even worse because of the idea that I could be subconsciously doing that for attention. It gives a feeling of control over my thoughts, but for a brief time. What occurs next is a feeling of worthlessness and remorse. I'd cut at least once every day for the first 3 weeks, but after seeing the amount of scares forming on my thigh I decided to change, to resist those urges. I've been improving ever since, and I'm now on my first week blade-free. I was improving mentally as well until my girlfriend almost killed herself two days ago. She never said anything in regards to her motives, I was only told the day after. All of the invasive thoughts have come back, but changed intentions. They're no longer just about anxiety, but also depression. I just want them to go away. Most days I'm either on the brink of tears, discontent with the day, tired, or desensitized. I've also been eating less than usual, going consecutive days without eating breakfast and lunch. I don't want to get assistance because I don't like talking about this to others. It might seem like I'm trying to gain attention by intentionally hurting myself physically/mentally. I don't think I am, but my confidence about almost anything has completely vanished. I haven't thought about consulting forums until today, and feel much more comfortable with it because of the anonymity. I'm just extremely desperate and am looking for answers.",6.954763355503111,9.066599060759494,7.018363012229138,68.59318279339197,65.35443037974683,10.773653722377171,38.19995709075307,10.82236724139085,4.93417206608024,3638,196,548,107,59,1164,360,790,0.165,0.723,0.112,-0.9892,3,0,0,0,0,2,117.0,0,2,2,12,34,35,5,8,32,0,57,13,1,9,8,133,117,46,1,13,26,2,9,6,1,2,7,2,0,1,46,37,5,5,36,8,0,12,17,21,1,4,34,19,69,14,112,72,17,86,0,7,7,0,30,25,0,14,51,399,115,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04273444840079653,0.0,0.09654887717556014,0.0,0.0,0.11565837255119445,0.04011382378384335,0.052234527511611235,0.0585793195705903,0.032783833505406514,0.0,0.4794376721471717,0.0,0.047810461864583965,0.0,0.0,0.19835986177502146,0.0,0.04506899022619144,0.054844798135304455,0.04529402582030696,0.037069813473992685,0.0,0.11755125214885405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04952401394384239,0.10199764718631807,0.08305572245548228,0.10109262466170148,0.05209689833875625,0.05407059232741456,0.1154731036563503,0.0,0.0,0.1865452440053982,0.0,0.08304483498593561,0.04893121028090717,0.0,0.0,0.2210071693567064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865986639279324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962575154672702,0.0,0.03184164844407725,0.043607880790557815,0.04061823650701519,0.0,0.0,0.09431547877922823,0.0,0.0,0.12187981894778208,0.0,0.1851531415522344,0.052810700276431775,0.04406223372991736,0.0820132525145238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556177733453956,0.04624655078215194,0.054796672223186835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05124400697529962,0.0,0.0,0.032313535980527316,0.050935549119732346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051608826583584816,0.05442219316051726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053336213923512114,0.0,0.02649445439662116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034051505091389815,0.14131515374849885,0.0,0.0,0.04266352648609796,0.0809669855499006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03217994108573266,0.0,0.145297528153171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716684510873476,0.0511422247373143,0.0,0.05646190207895314,0.0,0.0,0.1063176817050842,0.035746428447867976,0.074363642469465,0.0,0.05127091279848108,0.04524096401217099,0.047234671209518304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134110613695868,0.03266772619335204,0.10999555312161316,0.0,0.0,0.05353048788821259,0.0,0.0,0.03342211204410585,0.042094316779242864,0.0,0.0,0.04557317141680047,0.054348504009164175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080104251210926,0.0,0.0964442696143641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045857883164933125,0.03833780233965575,0.09653141595075752,0.04879017156843588,0.11524920622948555,0.04388774378497718,0.10058518714127893,0.054462548108162284,0.0,0.0797581127745493,0.05418903562888934,0.0,0.0982861897197894,0.0,0.0,0.04768002147013948,0.0,0.20473584685913232,0.0,0.0,0.08060991369866959,0.05522334827371984,0.050398606869666185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021540426897214,0.07249447007939028,0.11624591821165076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03202797641303813,0.06178087493779355,0.0,0.2679084201819071,0.056222214666654634,0.055409255666755516,0.04569657918767552,0.04606585024914914,0.0,0.0654616134577457,0.0,0.047093274647444214,0.0,0.0,0.04163717403826603,0.053095500321775714,0.0,0.0853049087853111,0.03826613069590388,0.07734084612462871,0.0,0.04334576045885921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04647184120301092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912918004690055,0.034246353456774195,0.0,0.0585793195705903,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway045789390,2019/01/30,“Suck It Up” Why is it that whenever I try to explain my problems and ask for help people tell me to suck it up? It ranges from my boyfriend to my childhood friends to just about anyone I ask. It really does hurt and it makes me feel like my problems are invalid and that the depression and anxiety and whatever else is my fault. I’m scared to talk to a professional about this because I cannot mentally or financially afford another stay at the hospital and they seem to try to put me in there for some of the dumbest things. I’m just so scared and alone. ,5.115625000000001,5.501904312499999,5.821428571428572,81.82357142857144,68.375,9.971428571428572,32.07142857142857,9.957137785484203,2.9262714285714297,441,18,92,10,7,144,70,112,0.259,0.679,0.063,-0.9751,1,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,6,11,2,2,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,17,14,9,0,2,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,10,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,9,0,0,0,2,12,2,18,14,1,7,0,2,0,0,8,4,2,3,2,61,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901311992660372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136529860519275,0.13961064069347595,0.0,0.0,0.12760700046755485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412224051781086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124922254919986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718545162263492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970542434422932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245384723894972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092276584754424,0.13037676661940814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099767399766852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122324711644828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19536812170507398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915941317258241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181898064117602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391528424073267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652128881283967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492523040198254,0.0,0.18346111996054226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691303446804607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3654251155911619,0.0,0.0,0.16613952761080092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945188230246474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668515833630325,0.1595114904004261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124370980796355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24780862716012994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467626002426256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,craigxcosgriff,2019/01/30,"Support from anyone anywhere would be greatly appreciated; seeking kindness and empathy I can barely put what I've been going through into words.
A  full blown downward spiral? One step away from full regression? My brain is a constant whirlwind. Yes there's new stressors and recent trauma and past trauma and I'm haunted by all of it and I'm sad and angry about so many of the things that have happened in my life and I'm upset about where I am right now in life because of those things. and the feelings of hopelessness and doom and futility eat away at my motivation. I need to ground myself somehow 
",3.872607655502392,6.462593868421052,4.495677830940991,81.2895933014354,75.22807017543859,6.250717703349283,28.784688995215305,7.348242739294969,1.88464210526316,487,21,83,6,11,155,82,114,0.211,0.679,0.111,-0.9232,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,7,9,0,1,4,1,7,4,1,1,1,18,15,11,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,11,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,6,0,1,1,1,7,3,17,12,3,20,1,3,0,0,0,12,0,1,5,60,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374364870132655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862911866353886,0.0,0.0,0.1253173345178176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22949101100933605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221548241167688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21035575979357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394549620081882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116833683655887,0.0,0.0,0.2266484701279393,0.0,0.0,0.18179034180479384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21407596215641544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290409078686413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084219855160432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243213661207686,0.0,0.19854676086524725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930374356624595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962457303744091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666084682920866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20298168216587908,0.0,0.0,0.17556093906439751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332854189799749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27315136577186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460354238242737,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pineappleepitome,2019/01/31,"Am I doing it wrong? Backstory: my whole life I never took anything seriously, I did my school work to get good grades but never put much effort into them unless I really needed to. Naturally I would get berated by everybody about being lazy and how I shouldn’t take thinks so nonchalantly.

Ffw: I started getting super stressed out because I got into a special program at school and my parents wanted for me to get good grades, but some scheduling issues caused me to miss info things for my classes and then I was super behind which scared me. And I got super stressed, then the hallucinations came, at least twice a week I’d have visual hallucinations and the first time it was scary but then I just could care less when they happened even if I saw people     Standing in the shadows of my own home when no one else was there. I’d just see them and continue what ever I was doing at the time but deep down I’m afraid of getting diagnosed with anything because my school might take me out of the program(which for the first time made me enjoy school) and instead put me in the program for kids who have disabilities and or severe mental illness. I’ve been told that I do t like authority although I was never aware to my actions, and I just don’t want to have an ea follow me around because”I saw shit so I need to be watched” I just want to continue to ignore my hallucinations because I don’t mind them anymore but I’m still scared for the future",4.944361702127663,6.2248768758865225,5.642333333333338,79.72350000000002,69.2482269503546,8.051347517730497,28.639007092198586,8.395991825355821,2.030037730496453,1157,41,216,17,20,376,155,282,0.139,0.7240000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.1131,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,4,7,16,19,1,5,11,0,22,4,1,3,4,49,51,26,0,9,12,1,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,1,7,16,0,1,2,0,0,6,7,10,0,4,15,4,38,9,33,30,6,40,0,1,4,0,8,12,1,4,22,159,45,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035722752323008,0.0,0.0,0.16654803156694428,0.0900840884880534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850607162762313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573894435301454,0.10317399757933496,0.1039540832988156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807951515526508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027097503692092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453457777837478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668376634107375,0.09153574016288134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721510799421307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26434836589741384,0.0,0.0,0.16975340338744307,0.161868125582569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948549428787074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150580368656363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056202146232606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714762943232816,0.0494382626874523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575218205400306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197972161313903,0.10735081159734114,0.10217706347253136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438921215500187,0.15006809442863628,0.2341410863558024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857165361712075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236392920952616,0.0,0.0,0.07015515792793119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034557814773195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482744899218155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262563664723612,0.4096548042442599,0.08063849319704251,0.0,0.0,0.11432038342291105,0.10387415695472592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162561346091527,0.0,0.08081363589568018,0.0,0.2318347035842216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217054477615582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722877777453329,0.06484101053319036,0.0,0.0,0.17702105467446647,0.0,0.0,0.09669517578807296,0.1124302251031165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790604776850622,0.0,0.08117169954718688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297945468907795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367041604540127,0.0,0.0,0.07188529354593699,0.11063972150722956,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,threwnaway755,2019/01/31,"Can’t figure out what’s wrong with me Hey all, 23M in the US here. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 17, and kinda dealt with it until I was 21, when I was hospitalized for harming/trying to kill myself. It was completely voluntary, my mom is a social worker so I kinda know the system. I stayed for about 4 days, got on a new medicine and everything. I felt like I was lying to myself and I didn’t actually have depression, and still think that today. No medicine has worked for me, so logically I think that nothing is actually wrong with me. I sincerely don’t know how to convince myself something is wrong. 

A lot of this stems from my issues with codependency in relationships. I feel like I’m a grown adult still dealing with issues that people get over when they’re a teenager, trying to convince myself that everything is okay and I feel okay when I don’t. Self harm is a thing teenagers do, and there I was at 21, in my junior year of college, dealing with it. Now I’m in grad school (but that’s falling apart) in a new city with no friends. I feel myself falling into that hole and I can’t climb out of it. Any advice or similar experience would help. ",2.4262587412587417,4.559976388888892,3.988951048951048,85.4083216783217,77.84615384615384,6.98958818958819,23.884226884226884,8.00094639256281,1.3594683760683766,921,31,185,16,22,306,123,234,0.154,0.753,0.093,-0.9451,0,0,1,0,0,1,27.0,1,0,0,3,13,15,1,0,9,2,21,1,0,1,1,36,33,17,1,1,2,1,4,2,1,1,1,0,0,2,13,18,0,0,10,0,0,4,7,7,0,0,10,4,29,8,32,22,2,31,0,2,0,0,11,12,0,4,15,129,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.2386054849291669,0.0,0.0,0.11946566834854187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313724245151444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281815020987981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788440293114597,0.25207801282868425,0.2105952185071082,0.12408572938545899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974889717557544,0.1195883456537542,0.0,0.0,0.1854466236745147,0.08733862889671751,0.11738347818101524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445351226212688,0.0,0.06387292282635766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777808024539547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194460464288902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552038403805717,0.0,0.0,0.13525647474001484,0.0,0.1343757360425366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119454732643601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103936391743548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431829758907687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23614828789911746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730647609645235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475586699750279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125556500497645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237280662210264,0.0,0.0,0.12753809112983064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462305213669,0.0,0.09411747578174252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303070151077587,0.19526518014812688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122044787236422,0.1566714758273461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588295744925885,0.0,0.0,0.16600554137167686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705709330573052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900272151634307,0.0,0.0,0.08684607887441112,0.4009982643189538,0.0,0.07872788041640917
mentalhealth,shikkakun,2019/01/31,"PTSD daily night terrors Hello. I don't know exactly what to say. Its almost 2am and I desperatily need a good night's sleep.
I've got a lot better, I haven't tried anything for more than a year and I don't take as many meds anymore. But the nightmares are more horrible than they ever were. Please help me; any tips, any stories. I'm trying Dalmadorm to make it better and I also take xanax 2mg as I always do to sleep. But it doesn't work. 
I'm desperate so can anyone just please help.",0.045421956684094766,2.3287910776699094,2.164077669902916,93.65909634055271,89.67961165048544,4.722628827483198,17.631814787154592,6.297961479604792,-0.1746304705003734,383,10,83,4,13,128,70,103,0.07200000000000001,0.725,0.202,0.8825,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,3,4,4,0,1,4,0,8,3,2,1,2,13,16,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,8,3,8,14,3,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,44,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643999233648709,0.0,0.0,0.13129258561510726,0.1366087260433751,0.0,0.0,0.22329248660635176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16281983792073212,0.11479663629065015,0.0,0.1351039888954181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904030888023904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850783291940525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770419085978827,0.13130764281917826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200892643914217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022759041471608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957773121260145,0.0,0.0,0.10958967112089188,0.16645008723811222,0.0,0.0,0.18236404990617905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173544155695132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081386851565172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604349073218997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191456294470932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056043635093484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285918792265679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24688190425575596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22293131832543775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952308265280255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572484523816006
mentalhealth,jebosse,2019/01/31,"Natural mental health support supplement options It’s possible to feel better emotionally without the use of caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, or even anti-depressants.
Too good to be true? It gets even better. It’s possible in many cases to begin seeing improvements in as little as one day. I know I sure did. The immediate feedback is encouraging.
There are four emotion-generators in your brain called neurotransmitters. Each has a distinctly different effect on your mood.
These neurotransmitters can be boosted with everyday amino-acid supplements at your local health food store.
The 4 key mood neurotransmitters are serotonin, catecholamines, GABA, and endorphins.
Are you experiencing depression?
If you are high in serotonin you are positive, confident, and easy-going.
If you’re low in serotonin you will tend to be negative, obsessive, worried, irritable, and even sleepless.
Feeling oversensitive?
If you’re high in endorphins you’re full of cozy comfort, pleasure, and even euphoria.
If you’re low in endorphins you’ll be crying over small matters, overly sensitive, and reaching for comfort like sugar, starch, alcohol, or drugs.
Experiencing anxiety and stress?
If you’re high in GABA you’re relaxed and care-free.
If you’re low in GABA you’ll be anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed.
Feeling apathetic?
If you are high in catecholamines you will be energized and alert.
If your catecholamines are low you will feel flat and apathetic. Even your fun hobbies will seem uninteresting.
So what can you do today to boost your mood and correct imbalances in your neurotransmitters?
Brain-fueling amino acids
A diet rich in good-mood foods such as protein, healthy fat, and certain vegetables
GABA supplements for low GABA.
L-Tyrosine for low catecholamines.
5-HTP or L-Tryptophan for low serotonin (consult a medical professional if you are currently taking an SSRI)
DLPA for low endorphins.
For more FREE weekly tips to boost your health and mood naturally you can check my blog on my profile. 

Hope this is helpful...",6.183056877773296,9.751392961194037,6.398394513916903,65.3155828963292,73.11940298507463,10.188785800726102,35.0242033077854,10.094168925368589,4.987763210972167,1642,87,225,55,37,524,178,335,0.121,0.649,0.23,0.9917,2,0,4,0,0,0,66.0,0,20,0,3,9,35,0,4,7,0,28,14,2,2,5,44,42,29,0,10,13,0,4,1,0,6,8,0,0,0,6,15,8,0,7,2,4,0,2,13,0,2,1,9,24,19,36,29,3,39,0,10,1,0,24,33,0,15,7,139,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111300470350995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556588877548351,0.11159248468400973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472451489179966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205407185269444,0.10086470234177654,0.0,0.10071207251000676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085044150440994,0.06370447217907349,0.0,0.17015692063929092,0.0,0.0,0.10320333708596756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455261953199307,0.0,0.0,0.11111340929755087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262139570896043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19978311410929955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23888862638215624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160810362841763,0.0,0.05613854858256477,0.1657027688360197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149933079984586,0.0,0.0,0.0662096779209045,0.4174629856632429,0.0,0.09811012615386383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054286516132047054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04825857302581366,0.09900280183908423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014669908062457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950974559052199,0.0995462942080466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693540536614583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22271762199582254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871430752417476,0.0899249584579539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22630269278609985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209357111074364,0.09309831464918457,0.0,0.07426973510258272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363121980603904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531359379151589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923479057085753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952197135063447,0.0,0.0,0.1003151669042092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BCRGabbs22,2019/01/31,"Desperate need for help First post, on mobile sorry. 
I have been with my fiancé for 3 and a half years and ever since I’ve known him he’s been severely depressed. (I also suffer from depression and anxiety) He’s tried just about everything: meds, three different therapists, that big magnetic thing that they hook up to your brain to make you not depressed, etc etc. but nothing seems to be working. I believe it’s because he has got it in his head that he’s not going to get better so it just doesn’t happen. But he’s too dang stubborn and he’s got it in his head that once he has a ton of money and lives where he wants that he’ll be happy. Which to me just sounds crazy. Most of what he struggles with are feelings of inadequacy as a man which I know is super common. I guess that’s why he thinks money will make him happy. The only thing I can think of is to get him to go to a male therapist because he’s only ever seen females. My own therapist thinks this will help also. But again, he’s convinced that this will not work. Any help/advice/words of encouragement/magic potions to make him better? I’m completely at a loss here and it’s really taking a toll on me  ",2.4501414624427156,4.307018564853557,3.956521219366408,86.96701534170154,76.74058577405856,6.895477186690576,22.25961346881849,7.793537801064563,0.9864308029487948,923,26,189,14,21,306,136,239,0.121,0.752,0.127,0.8216,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,1,7,13,13,1,1,7,0,15,3,3,3,2,34,38,13,0,2,9,0,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,19,8,0,1,7,0,2,2,4,7,0,3,5,3,19,6,27,27,5,17,0,5,1,0,26,8,1,3,6,119,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916585573612125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192611905546832,0.0,0.08091251411566612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895083419368128,0.0,0.0,0.11916473439516564,0.0,0.1870870574888596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807248144668142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089612439387532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27329442820445704,0.0,0.0,0.1105054357735736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359193839634368,0.0,0.19134709337643954,0.0,0.0,0.09505779163758148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053479666230316907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996652212001104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051921656671823,0.0,0.12022120504969118,0.0,0.1691852564113363,0.0,0.11651578480213655,0.0,0.09353062094035217,0.2251847948160963,0.0,0.0,0.2170977251107535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126829282172212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05812753047708051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339540913017884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211803626322284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748481612024005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842590671786819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148760431417443,0.0,0.0,0.1126398629323608,0.0,0.16088322410683534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129686209122624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775792665023701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628755233989277,0.0,0.1194881531668906,0.0,0.08749268925666738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839903165985582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057206587324654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952465176065228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36841569157829945,0.14053561150559218,0.20331630369251594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718097809145533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238492542669749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543950337555396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400126718849508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811136300458531
mentalhealth,OhWowYo,2019/01/31,"What are emotions supposed to feel like? I’m curious as to what the average person’s emotions are like. I’ve always felt I lack emotions compared to the average person, but I’m not going to say I don’t feel emotions at all. There are times when I get genuinely happy/frustrated but it’s rare, usually I don’t feel swayed emotionally by things that happen. Is there any way to tell if I actually lack emotional depth due to my biology/experiences. What’s normal and what’s not?",3.0330732860520087,5.3861881702127645,5.179078014184399,76.5338888888889,76.87234042553192,8.858628841607569,28.52955082742316,9.444778638647367,3.0462047281323867,384,17,70,11,9,133,58,94,0.055,0.857,0.08800000000000001,0.2047,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,14,15,6,0,4,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,7,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,5,6,2,9,14,3,8,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,6,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.12322840831979115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507281176163184,0.0,0.0,0.08587287976584458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8522696526558668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352340930372087,0.0,0.0,0.1915487589941509,0.09021251315300174,0.12124599049834547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659746662316795,0.0,0.07176628756082032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166658053998003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233853997472609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372492194621615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205208980830855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004207604414855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037190750258437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389301291462943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363329671990522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390765821967492,0.0,0.0,0.1002330261289162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sociallyawakward4996,2019/01/31,"I hate how small things set me off I hate how if I vent on Reddit or talk to my mom or someone gives me a wrong look or anything it sets me off . I'm not sure if I have any other mental illnesses besides Major Depressive Disorder,GAD and Trichotillomania . But that was almost 5 years ago and a lot has changed . I just wish it was easier to get help then it is right now for me. ",2.545916666666667,3.588602425000005,4.359999999999999,87.55166666666668,74.75,7.833333333333335,23.333333333333336,8.344100000000001,1.1220833333333329,294,8,67,5,6,100,60,80,0.209,0.6970000000000001,0.094,-0.8768,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,2,0,5,1,0,2,1,16,12,11,0,3,8,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,10,1,6,10,2,11,0,1,1,0,4,5,0,7,4,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19577642670841386,0.0,0.22115640757619304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501903503538009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18174651314776186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23363744761042304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902238318095771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538867990487693,0.21186618286969974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4361011755789478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803580823716644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18546427654388373,0.0,0.0,0.18776474453765116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22257193484172166,0.0,0.0,0.25866507812399364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188610692411442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18713144037962853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20815513211035708,0.0,0.0,0.17751651059485246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672759358066487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539746788591582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24147248586958894,0.0,0.1422246828699963
mentalhealth,livsnjutare227,2019/01/31,Cut myself and I have never felt this good before. It’s like venting out everything from the inside. But no one knowing it. I sometimes feel ashamed but it is too bad that I felt good? ,1.6531081081081105,4.043230459459462,2.6877702702702737,92.26787162162165,82.24324324324327,4.781081081081081,22.763513513513516,5.985473137389443,0.3843027027027031,145,5,29,1,4,46,30,37,0.224,0.585,0.191,-0.1154,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,9,6,3,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,3,4,3,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,21,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455849683053218,0.0,0.0,0.2502816456425687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26434368352777304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872018086699054,0.0,0.5648188711114115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49340197466282004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616453028834038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369630267862166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22684999152167484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993090484516612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909005558918322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loveleeeternalee,2019/01/31,"TW: anxiety, depression, lack of motivation Hello everyone
Does anyone else just have this huge lack of motivation to get anything done? Maybe I'm just lazy but it takes a ton of energy to get myself to even brush my teeth in the morning or start on my homework. My doctor told me I have depression but I think it's more than that...for some reason getting myself to get these things done makes my heart beat really fast and very anxious. 
Also social events and socializing with people makes me feel that same way. I've cancelled on so many people so many times very last minute Bc of it...
Can anyone else relate?",2.715128205128206,5.436227179487183,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000003,80.62393162393163,6.676923076923077,20.11111111111111,7.882392219407189,1.0439880341880343,488,13,90,9,13,156,82,117,0.156,0.7809999999999999,0.063,-0.8942,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,5,0,19,17,8,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,10,0,13,14,6,10,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,2,5,54,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297089794315855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806860917304492,0.1595911172274581,0.0,0.1975538682835824,0.2894887770927649,0.11625042548832006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24334553662554595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459241374446166,0.12362340721697107,0.2891296823401109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23602033702239225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330529742130547,0.0,0.0,0.1349863486499761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714286685034546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952239996939429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674016737237315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515118350824535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859318664218652,0.2864444436052438,0.1419213487300239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19587303152350125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049904052014296,0.14524565566820058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880071419768974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998926991036204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062149483880696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385129260093122,0.090517972415017,0.0,0.0,0.08237372619652253,0.0,0.0,0.1349863486499761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23311958030397156,0.0,0.11213090025833708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aaron_Nayd,2019/01/31,"I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with my relationship (not asking for relationship advice). Hello. This may sound like a weird topic but hear me out. (Forgive my long-post). 
Through all my life one of my dreams was a family. Or rather a happy family life. My life goal is just *insert your dream family scenario here*. I idealise this dream and hold it highly. Seeing happy couples with children, watching romance anime (judge me, I don't care), reading books concerning family and love always make me feel sappy. But alas i have a problem. To 
I went through 2 relationships that ended poorly one of them temporarily disturbing me mentally and probably even the reason I rushed into the second one.
However after my last break up about 6 months later i started dating my current partner. We have been together for over a year now and despite certain troubles, mostly caused by outside sources, I am incredibly happy with them. I don't live with them for reasons but we still are happy together. We get together every weekend, have a great time and as absolutely cheddar-cheesy as it may sound, I could view my life with them.
However the feeling of... emptiness doesn't leave me. And no its not the same as my regular one. Every time I see something remotely couple-y or romantically sappy I get this sinking feeling in my chest. Like the one i had almost two years ago when i was at my lowest and loneliest. That feeling that i can only describe as ""desperation at realisation that what i dream of, what i strive for, is unattainable/is not there"".
It's not the worst but it constantly makes me feel bad, as if i somehow don't view them as ""the one"". 
For the longest time i tried attributing it to me to my double-edged personality trait. On one hand I can act in the manner of ""I am the greatest bastard here, you shall all bow to me"", that smug sense of superiority. On another i have constant issues with undermining my own self worth and underestimating myself. Viewing myself as less than I am worth. 
I always assumed that it's because of this that every time that i started dating i had the same train of though ""wow i cant believe that i managed to get this partner"". But it seems that its not that. Since I know they truly love me, and that we are happy together.
I do not know what to do so please give some advice. Thank you all.
(If this post isn't appropriate to the subreddit i fully understand its possible deletion.) ",4.081805856832972,6.286529585683298,5.260932212581345,77.87161523861171,73.0997830802603,7.733644251626898,28.44473969631237,8.548686976883017,2.3458194793926244,1933,78,340,36,40,639,230,461,0.11,0.6709999999999999,0.219,0.9967,4,0,2,0,0,0,70.0,4,3,6,1,13,27,1,2,19,0,32,8,2,6,4,71,59,28,0,5,17,0,7,2,2,3,4,3,0,5,32,21,0,1,14,7,3,4,14,10,0,9,6,16,68,17,49,49,11,40,0,0,6,2,28,11,1,12,25,257,100,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558135726972146,0.06603081138299809,0.0,0.07459088553370485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396314595100345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810916627748449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963801111780263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219596399965969,0.04540835818025648,0.0,0.0,0.08392462097210626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594742846415344,0.07652165749245689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609942609101992,0.0,0.05947413240508592,0.08242166938312777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597595111480142,0.0,0.0,0.04919988349482031,0.0,0.1882828874974834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808898335515294,0.0,0.2259860221671176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116753711669485,0.0714575099500664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212538953350745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39647947544095496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395554313529757,0.0,0.0,0.07870268044811811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777481136979351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187541369674625,0.06071921926699408,0.0,0.07887405995098071,0.0,0.0,0.21045770745971307,0.07278401548723845,0.0,0.06577595587795845,0.06592122692016704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344601053974375,0.0,0.09944518764905358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506830978466855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059457136055870476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35333403919193074,0.0566529337411268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504171682474669,0.0,0.08176755306244922,0.0,0.08397618201409489,0.1426814870996728,0.0,0.08031272255314682,0.0712767844701047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451006874068357,0.0,0.0,0.15317606898003433,0.0,0.23992286110449546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871762919393095,0.06781281706767414,0.07770922251947866,0.0,0.0,0.06161882389924558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469194502918835,0.0,0.0,0.10544868440017716,0.0,0.05948773891789794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858030174934962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318595906953383,0.0,0.17374266387484738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050573759727931454,0.0,0.07276581895918784,0.07754662407997218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905289351338048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144302374251708,0.0,0.09593812050296087
mentalhealth,WhiteCheddarMacNChz,2019/01/31,"I can't figure out what is wrong with me, can someone tell me if they relate to any of this and what the problem was? I'm just going to list everything I have experienced that I feel is abnormal

First of all, I was born with a deformed nose. Obviously I was bullied most of my childhood. So, that has been a huge struggle my whole life. I am CONSTANTLY and I mean constantly, thinking about what I look like. When i'm around other people my mind is completely preoccupied with my appearance in that moment, I monitor the angles people see me at, my facial expressions, etc. I have trouble socializing because im so preoccupied with how I look.

When I was a kid, I had very frequent feelings of guilt over the smallest things, I woke my mom up in the middle of the night to tell her I googled pictures of penises and I was overcome by guilt and NEEDED to tell someone. This was an everyday thing. 

My parents divorced and things went way down hill, my dad cheated on my mom and he was an alcoholic. The night he left I witnessed him push my mom into the bed frame and throw a suitcase at the mirror and shattering it. I became my parents ""owl"" constantly delivering messages back and forth for them since they wouldn't stand to talk to each other. My dad's drinking got worse, he began to drive drunk with me all the time, with cans of beer in the car with him. He would scream in my face, make me feel guilty for being bitter towards him since he had cheated on my mom by saying things like ""you hate coming here, I know you do, why don't you just go stay with your mother"" when I visited him. One time my phone died and he came to a school carnival I was at with my friends and SCREAMED at me and got all in my face right in front of my friends. He also ridiculed me for my depression and anxiety. ""Really? You can't just order some food at mcdonalds? Whats wong with you?"" ""You're just going to lay there all day without doing anything? Get your ass up and stop being so lazy"" etc etc. My mother became very dependent on me after the divorce, I am an only child. She frequently said things like ""you don't even love me anymore"" ""why don't you ever talk to me anymore?"" and ""I feed you, I clean up after you, I take you to school, and I let you live under my roof, and you're going to be this way to me?"" She would snoop through my room, diary, phone, car, you name it, follow me around the house without giving me any space and sit in my room and refuse to leave, when we would get into arguments she would lock me in a room with her despite me sobbing and begging to just be alone for a minute to cool off. 

​

Ever since high school, I've had a habit of obsessively looking things up online over and over. I would become infatuated with something such as a fight with a friend or a boy liking me back and constantly search for articles and threads on the topic, looking for answers and reassurance. I still do this. I read the same articles over and over again trying to figure out if certain mental illness apply to me and others I know, if I was really emotionally abused by my boyfriend or it was my fault, whether or not i am ugly, and the list goes on. I check my grades and bank account many times a day despite not buying anything or turning in any new assignments. These things interfere with my life, I get distracted for hours from homework searching for answers to my problems and even during my classes. Basically any chance i get I am browsing online and giving into very obsessive and constant thoughts. 

​

I recently got out of an abusive relationship. Since then I am a confused mess. I can't figure out what is and isn't real. Are my feelings real? Are my memories real? Are my perceptions real? I don't know. I can't tell. My current preoccupation is with this relationship. I think about it constantly. Any time I am not very focused on something else I'm obsessing over this relationship. Was it my fault? Was he really abusive? Did that really happen or am I imagining it? Why did he do this to me? Could I have prevented it? Was I the abusive one? Not only am I constantly obsessing over this stuff, I am also constantly replaying the most traumatic memories from the relationship in my head, although most of them are very blurry, so I also spend a lot of time picking memories apart and using all my mental energy to try and remember what happened. Since the break up, I have had a very exaggerated startle response and even heard his voice in my head one night. I get overstimulated very easily by loud noises and yelling. I had a full on panic attack at work and was extremely anxious the rest of the day just because one of my supervisors who barely speaks english called me a liar because she misunderstood something I said and it reminded me of him. 

​

I'm sorry this is so long, I just feel like so many things are wrong with me. I overthink to the absolute max to the point where I feel confused, lost, and detached from reality, like I don't know what is really true and it drives me insane. I try so hard to stop thinking about these things all the time and stop constantly looking things up (and constantly posting on reddit as well) to dissect myself and situations in my life. When I don't do this it makes me really uneasy, I NEED to have that constant reassurance even if I've posted the same thing on reddit 5 times and deleted it only to post it again days later or read the same article over and over and nothing has changed. 

tl;dr: I think my parents may have been emotionally abusive, and I also just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. I had problems with extreme guilt as a child. I have a facial deformity which I am preoccupied with every moment of every day. I rotate between different obsessions within my own life such as my recent abusive boyfriend and whether or not I have certain illnesses. I routinely search the internet for answers and reassurance about these things despite reading the same things over and over again.",5.4460349236255965,6.396078857512954,6.1002379830877285,78.11294159208671,67.85146804835924,9.124392705739856,31.446560348114748,9.30529256058735,2.7695488280286207,4759,190,886,90,77,1553,426,1158,0.162,0.785,0.052000000000000005,-0.999,5,1,6,0,5,0,134.0,1,14,4,3,50,54,8,14,52,1,87,22,9,6,12,190,150,86,1,16,28,11,7,6,3,7,7,10,6,4,56,82,6,6,25,6,5,17,19,36,1,5,37,27,165,18,151,100,23,160,0,3,6,3,93,72,2,21,67,652,221,11,0.0,0.2821783504261636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03635979021912729,0.0,0.035237131360116934,0.0,0.10883137712111864,0.0,0.11059035098948423,0.12402347299105322,0.11568260264049122,0.0,0.026027179950769537,0.03843583033415636,0.06748251281872715,0.0,0.0,0.05599536751126638,0.06057461735629615,0.0,0.03870559547917463,0.0,0.05232252660582624,0.0,0.062219545450589865,0.037575265688854165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03474085729779635,0.03891276686634432,0.0,0.0,0.03599137754214734,0.029307439400739918,0.035672026966264724,0.40442953489033373,0.0,0.027164261034815368,0.0,0.0,0.1097087447750282,0.0,0.029303597596171457,0.0,0.03531006571898688,0.035546353908933015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03332917506774385,0.0,0.0,0.028421499225027888,0.1148124667992709,0.0,0.0,0.11383250775362175,0.08988637070199712,0.061550741400099834,0.05733098068624137,0.0,0.030577300380721473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321702979297603,0.02430573736605874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028939588472249,0.041140237796407415,0.0,0.07885728083938404,0.0,0.08887696696360292,0.06527511624584972,0.07734326320039142,0.0,0.10884385837622504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017210881970179,0.0,0.030477548231982624,0.03359025322646088,0.06983396351129142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03594672287559958,0.0,0.0,0.033505387168147605,0.03925748841776155,0.0,0.0,0.036750223821072577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479167900570237,0.0,0.0,0.036024998881713774,0.03696563183058238,0.03479039231443885,0.09612461537539932,0.09973028185048312,0.0,0.030042560740752695,0.03010891194844205,0.14285198853915124,0.0,0.03713966421397012,0.028924780162073494,0.030706706042444392,0.0,0.045420671588041236,0.06898711047232843,0.0,0.0370605627906773,0.0,0.0,0.06857351524000514,0.0,0.0343531062272966,0.15938733416148426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050454622730676135,0.0,0.032859218982633324,0.0,0.0957836574303548,0.0,0.03264558231970799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922183206615099,0.0776271137534307,0.0,0.03991816609654526,0.11333414364435122,0.0,0.0,0.04717394512593115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03216233439696607,0.0,0.0977526784420914,0.0,0.0,0.0976650402840997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209535852704003,0.1549005744010522,0.13077441253369534,0.0,0.06718638485649911,0.1826375872362996,0.03854094990841166,0.029055096725697976,0.06472652778971892,0.027056120532314782,0.0,0.103297999534715,0.02711159069032997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071914539725924,0.03824280449139316,0.0,0.034681734912200744,0.057654441867893265,0.07857673094270673,0.0,0.03808549192530004,0.0,0.03626354256041299,0.0271704756839553,0.08533319888062789,0.0,0.03556778685553316,0.03894771333328625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025580745383068343,0.054692120789106784,0.1189489352457744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938401678134893,0.08720117987461133,0.0,0.02701012751198523,0.13887187666582348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929729389263439,0.03700679632108074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029384584682858195,0.0,0.19650533670849255,0.0,0.05401107946882813,0.0,0.0,0.0305903846326281,0.03153927175987472,0.0921002575157902,0.037984994640987466,0.0,0.06559310446685067,0.0,0.02476884285187128,0.0,0.03467191481729235,0.1208433204790551,0.07439669876435934,0.12402347299105322,0.0
mentalhealth,Wont_stay_down35,2019/01/31,"I'm struggling I'm sorry to complain but today has been really hard. I've lived with depression and anxiety for a few years now. It starting after I broke my neck and lost my athletic ability and it was further aggravated when my little brother committed suicide. 

I'm just in a lot of pain, and I'm doing everything I can to help myself; I work out regularly, I'm on anti-anxieties, I've seen a therapist, I'm doing well in school. I try my ass off but I just cant seem to connect with people. I haven't been able to make friends in years and I'm just so damn lonely. I dont want to die but the idea of being dead just sounds so pleasant. So much easier than struggling to keep it together every day. I wont put my family through what we've already had to deal with, not again. I just need help. Why is it so hard to connect with people? Why am I so alone.. I just want to be normal again and live life.

So please, if you have any advice, help a brother out. I'm so lost",1.2991594276954537,3.077297393203885,3.7034695963209,87.82152529381706,79.92233009708737,7.055288707204905,22.978027593254986,8.032893268588372,1.2077029126213596,757,25,165,14,19,263,117,206,0.261,0.5770000000000001,0.161,-0.9719,0,3,0,0,0,2,24.0,0,1,0,3,18,13,1,2,5,0,17,4,2,1,1,33,35,18,3,5,11,2,2,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,5,12,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,10,1,0,7,4,18,3,26,25,3,20,0,5,1,1,9,9,2,3,10,103,23,2,0.1271464824357346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424607109811175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168541043062454,0.14030930506540726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864639680949635,0.0,0.19453342209622115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199896260499841,0.1310824404079337,0.1095110790123324,0.0,0.1319579749275505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490147304770915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712639523492773,0.0,0.11427105996072315,0.0,0.11986238789325608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823305692936192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22779654829623286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556708211315501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353290234691113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301363561686152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980732071256622,0.0,0.12743417798004908,0.224545346844594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775908104033589,0.10809539256562216,0.0,0.0,0.08487126433446952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346729425203727,0.09427750565886814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457655703267155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529282180517402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629472337158467,0.0,0.0,0.13956865634235516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781733294200615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145329242008584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867902825169394,0.0,0.11574938232157628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233007745096793,0.08999493468736658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658422198057337,0.0,0.1390776150755304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762686592216545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051999850110748,0.0,0.0,0.08632411545955927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998857918472816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431995738840794,0.0,0.22945984805600814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092564153520512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637563320548769
mentalhealth,throwaway8363331,2019/01/31,"Life is shit Hello today I've decided to create a throwaway account and vent about what I've been dealing with. 

Let's start with that I've always had suicidal tendencies and a couple other mental health issues from the early age of about 5 because I of severe bullying issues and ever since then my minds been fucked 

Anyway today I found out my girlfriend of two years decided to finally cheat on me by speaking to another lad and meeting with him once from as far as I know they haven't had sex or anything but what can you believe what a cheater says anyway as soon as I found out I instantly started getting the urges to just kill myself which I experienced when I was younger so I decided to take codeine phosphate 30mg about 20 of them I'm waiting for an hour then suddenly I start feeling drowsy and really itchy my eyes went bloodshot red and my whole body was swelling and went red I actually thought it was going work but it didn't anyway what I'm trying to say is I don't know what do anymore my grandad who's looked after me all my life has cancer of the liver lungs and intestines and he has a max few months left it's all starting to break my down I've been drinking everyday to curb my emotions and to feel numb but even that's not starting to work I have no clue what to do I'm cracking from under all the pressure and I'm starting to not care about life anymore I've fucked it tbh and I'm sick off everything sorry if this has had no grammar or doesn't make sense I'm a huge mess ",3.390218446601942,4.849699514563106,4.362641585760517,86.7163895631068,73.27184466019419,7.0917475728155335,27.76173139158576,7.6454224807358475,1.5656935275080903,1206,46,244,15,24,391,173,309,0.202,0.778,0.02,-0.9959,0,0,1,0,0,2,1.0,0,1,2,2,13,9,5,1,10,0,23,17,6,1,4,44,53,26,2,1,9,0,2,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,16,17,1,2,10,1,1,3,8,8,0,1,15,10,27,1,40,37,5,35,0,0,4,3,13,9,3,3,22,155,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.10325753943027936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804430854427034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095342060113136,0.0,0.0,0.20987473439243345,0.0,0.0,0.08707450562193955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450219486510024,0.0,0.0,0.11921422559330025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753360961893684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107882690029257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707929537009625,0.0,0.0,0.10908783323606898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365576906793073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902459352279332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988802501789118,0.09571328158528827,0.0,0.0,0.0950972708008092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700375454189824,0.0,0.0,0.11591220060775892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23203544687485705,0.0,0.19564352928824652,0.05528255856505339,0.0,0.06013556750928203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247352497458037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420379945720082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208810968337836,0.0,0.0,0.1170656305559256,0.0,0.11630334371403153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496537159088994,0.10820024390637584,0.22421506636851496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885568097507257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063053069076504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066339092618797,0.0,0.10684025748087013,0.0,0.08445836691061077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268664423727065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778606770211833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16829237303781644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119537778686497,0.10861480353303296,0.08752902650057857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844820484825393,0.4493669356497047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574148019379868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955767973924717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400314541800111,0.0,0.0,0.200595372762138,0.0,0.0,0.07183960477236898,0.0,0.10336324020772224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617812102863946,0.0,0.1181356521591014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406522660791636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813965084476542
mentalhealth,QuintessentiallyOkay,2019/01/31,"A week after blacking out, I feel numb. I'm 16 and because of the situation I am in, I don't have access to a doctor that can give me proper judgment. Thereby, I look for anecdotal stories and information that could be helpful.

This last weekend I got quite drunk. I was traveling and went out with a friend I hadn't seen in some time. 

At about 12:00am was the last time I remember anything; I was drinking gin and had some vodka before. Afterwards, I woke up in her house. It was 8:00am. Definitely, I feel asleep and alcohol probably started diffusing there for me to gain conscience back. I'm not too sure what happened in the time I was gone -- although, I know it wasn't long. I woke up fully clothed so I doubt anything too serious happened. Merely, I had some hickies. Also, I doubt I had drugs of any sort.

The issue with this whole thing is that since the hangover cured, I haven't felt like myself. I'm talking to this great guy (I did tell him what happened) and I'm really happy; everything in my life is going completely well. But I feel numb. I don't feel much -- and while inside I can have moments of happiness with this guy, it just feels different. Everything feels different. I don't see myself smiling  much anymore. And I'm not even  enjoying masturbation or doing stuff with him as much. Something is definitely off and I'm guessing is hormonal.

If you have ANY thoughts, I would dearly appreciate them.",2.948632478632476,5.395447135531137,4.173113553113556,83.15244200244202,77.64468864468864,7.414407814407816,28.05982905982906,8.401726058763845,2.270339682539684,1120,49,209,23,27,366,153,273,0.092,0.7809999999999999,0.128,0.9169,2,0,5,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,1,2,10,14,0,2,8,0,29,9,1,0,1,42,59,17,0,3,6,0,7,1,1,1,6,0,0,2,14,15,3,0,11,5,0,4,8,5,1,0,19,11,35,9,26,37,7,29,0,0,4,0,13,11,0,9,15,144,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588506569097486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671619948102388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474803449140256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753933650140224,0.0,0.0,0.17846711445050611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338056127788472,0.0,0.06610155585194742,0.0,0.09227101681263956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369304287518064,0.0,0.0,0.08657729198917047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265850013427396,0.0,0.11098880173561368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622596057002777,0.12575128955786535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162093009027179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19491050096370047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289708825573481,0.0,0.10411552836528302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837773551058276,0.0,0.0,0.10402165535813528,0.06162665600320705,0.0,0.0867261444714872,0.11955103070589412,0.11945443710994336,0.21473730093510002,0.287668688734654,0.2308641954062658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268233946792753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512054103551354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317897158021817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959356876428475,0.17677956325709995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659152665736428,0.052976333627391285,0.0,0.0,0.09596241391935983,0.09105889762387782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23913872619167004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691230707779812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533499302917828,0.0,0.0,0.0694668537956968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283680640102596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640942230967365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969934815388843,0.1218865643608924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347930110157263,0.0,0.0,0.07675153188453508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413323319359533,0.0,0.0,0.1021996107171446,0.0,0.0,0.08715671862004071,0.0947778101286783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204003472495324,0.0,0.0,0.0860860412610803,0.18968964404745106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698078780599114,0.0,0.09749695230088108,0.10052122296942986,0.0,0.12106487888718664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702979608866924,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway2146888,2019/01/31,"I don't know what im doing and I feel sick ok so I apologize in advance for the terrible writing but I just need to vent and hopefully get some advice. 

​

I don't know where to start, I just finished one of my two semesters of grade 10 and I had a pretty heavy course load, I studied a lot and haven't really done anything to relax for the last few months. I just had exams and thought I did really well and it felty good. I just got my marks back today and It turns out I didn't do as well as I thought I did but it was still pretty good nonetheless.  

​

now I just changed one of my courses for next semester and I am taking a grade 11 course for science. logically this is no issue because I can either take this course next year or next semester, I have finished the prerequisite for this class and have done everything recommended to prepare. I however feel absolutely sick to my stomach about this, I cannot get any sleep, I am tired but also not? I feel really shaky and unstable and I feel like im on the verge of puking/crying all the time and I feel like im being suffocated in a flood of emotions. I am having trouble eating and drinking without feeling sick after and I think its all because of  this course and that I am getting no sleep.

everyone keeps telling me that It is going to be hard and that I might regret it I don't know what to do. logically thinking  all emotions and feelings aside this is great to talk this now, I really enjoy science and hopefully this course and it will help  lighten my course load next year but I am just feeling so overwhelmed and I want to puke, cry, scream and just sleep all these feelings away.

​

I really don't know what to do and I don't know what I am looking for from this I just needed to vent and maybe get some advice? thanks in advance

​

TL;DR   I am feeling really overwhelmed with emotions, I can't sleep but Im tired, I feel shaky and weak and I can't eat without wanting to puke and cry, I can't focus and fear this will negatively affect my performance next semester in a class a year up. I think all this is because of the class im taking but I can't change it I really want to take it and I am just so scared.

​",1.932045231071779,4.148554761061948,3.4428200589970537,88.26953490658802,79.92920353982299,6.40715830875123,24.203736479842682,7.554174236665415,1.1995638544739435,1760,64,359,27,45,579,174,452,0.151,0.688,0.161,0.5078,1,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,3,21,24,0,6,12,1,44,14,5,1,5,95,87,41,0,8,20,0,12,2,0,3,6,1,0,0,28,30,3,1,23,2,0,3,18,11,2,3,11,14,52,13,42,71,10,33,0,3,1,0,5,10,0,9,22,250,80,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031036134972756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04218834373851043,0.0,0.2858013846818273,0.320516934766422,0.03587537001819678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043413064776355065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049565281486965096,0.040565520644976025,0.0,0.09647730792938723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161609069272498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738474509986237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797384676634432,0.0,0.05168004784921962,0.0,0.10796355503097614,0.0,0.17802762192022406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050409889454158134,0.04741300507929486,0.0,0.0,0.05936430812966165,0.2934209607890776,0.07537670329585576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024973515933913,0.0,0.029982016768241537,0.08849717919726488,0.0421931820810422,0.05816283471714165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047258329909285184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035360723135278084,0.0,0.0,0.10479570711213602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849235424642521,0.055062760886358086,0.0,0.04689127834618472,0.0,0.0,0.14496449214096244,0.04300255906779173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05154708777493125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04430111209205671,0.0,0.0,0.04485061570728238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299972606279396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055964969310326455,0.0,0.0,0.04210872662906813,0.0,0.0,0.07823467912529332,0.0,0.0,0.2805289636907278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149662742439013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734208317176899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365744885884811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281719517399903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21117334365145485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037340428074348266,0.0,0.04213040018478684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586614901483269,0.042402660936121266,0.046110402167324586,0.04856993407467089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141027656554108,0.0,0.08376353026414174,0.03076200277304505,0.12126876798284746,0.0500057958948984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057382548494898614,0.05153420063175365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334921636107224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948665869063329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017083312303887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320516934766422,0.10191792838212824
mentalhealth,headshots202,2019/01/31,"Strange change I feel like my emotions have changed drastically out of nowhere, like I used to feel depressed very often and now I feel empty and whenever I should feel depressed I feel pissed and I want to break everything.",4.602804878048783,7.413434097560978,3.6611585365853685,87.07027439024392,73.87804878048779,7.0268292682926825,32.201219512195124,8.07648339933343,2.4697756097560983,182,9,33,3,4,53,27,41,0.302,0.5660000000000001,0.132,-0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,13,9,3,0,2,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,7,2,4,8,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4835035207656325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3936607481126965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570626435004131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205385753466566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5777517736647875,0.16326006940873874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232939558240488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19737435909142687,0.0,0.1885590951343248,0.1347914220705726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,delu_throw,2019/01/31,"Is there such a thing as ""discrete"" anxiety? I'm not sure how else to call it. I frequently worry about the same things (whether I'll find a S.O or I'll be alone forever, whether I'll move abroad eventually, what jobs will I have, etc) I think about it every single day, it's always in my mind unless I become deeply concentrated on something. It makes me feel down, annoyed, slighty angry, sometimes sad. I just get the feeling that something's wrong.

 Since these are worries about the future, I think it sounds a bit like anxiety, but I also don't have the typical symptoms of it. I never experienced shortness of breath, sweating, rapid heart beat or anything like that. I don't feel physically anxious although mentally I'm not very calm. I don't know if this is like some very mild form of anxiety, if it's a different thing, or if it's not even anything specific. I sometimes get so caught up in these thoughts and worries that I end up crying really bad. I feel hurt and cry a lot. Maybe I don't ""have"" anything although I don't feel completely normal. I was suicidal at one point, now I not anymore, thankfully, but I'm still not really ok. 

My therapist tells me I should focus on changing my thoughts (CBT) but it's really difficult to let go of some thoughts. I feel like my mind can't just ""not worry"" about certain things because it views them as a real danger and something that must be avoided at all costs. 
",4.920520615618468,5.965097267148013,5.559327379821397,81.1716644499335,69.10830324909747,8.864069922097663,31.90746722401672,9.134995656068208,2.7271848375451264,1121,48,216,21,19,363,152,277,0.254,0.696,0.051,-0.9955,2,2,3,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,1,1,14,17,2,1,10,1,19,4,3,2,5,53,40,22,1,6,20,0,6,4,0,3,1,1,0,0,22,3,0,1,13,0,1,3,13,8,0,1,5,9,26,9,22,29,9,21,0,2,1,0,3,11,0,9,11,141,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939885646433265,0.0,0.07257191866183002,0.07551041293359434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082681413778635,0.1025205056297692,0.08999859343737449,0.0,0.0,0.22403601042065727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577159950867242,0.05531972991687322,0.10022510777322588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907437165332024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926648448912692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600037756056597,0.0,0.09514856865653017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936696498661927,0.058525578287549486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481335889861224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580911992726196,0.0,0.0803766518531948,0.0,0.10120909015144584,0.05993883892632109,0.0,0.07645992134298725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27531243613007583,0.06483108242514855,0.0,0.0,0.0829429146832591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482518278109534,0.0,0.05157473106099408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753796659601184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971486494866228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005435010235771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049873260717292485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927969704342435,0.0,0.17734145167883306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715152922845735,0.0,0.0,0.06057564226876599,0.0,0.09116953803088927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914536175502961,0.0,0.18326118050562068,0.0,0.0,0.09645179359993898,0.0,0.0,0.06999120029511026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891472294022121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061493850792034024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578710947426844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329219553652527,0.17440834216187293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506848590231023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20958897250157305,0.1795061038954349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247224480656161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926464421700457,0.0,0.08552983041949773,0.0943229271713691,0.0,0.0,0.0793185998552666,0.08354945922799847,0.0,0.10536654884883384,0.2411583335867379,0.11629655160998398,0.0,0.2161336366806016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975480878988898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686399370880888,0.0,0.0,0.09921975287378887,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,civicsfactor,2019/01/31,"How to help someone that was previously toxic with/to you An ex, a bad friend, etc. Anyone have tips or stories about trying to genuinely help someone that dredges up bad memories and negative feelings without entangling yourself again?

What if completely cutting them off doesn't seem feasible? Or there's other relations entangled in it but not directly for yourself, like a family member.

I want to help, but I know it's at a personal cost to my own health.",6.372500000000002,8.055160773809531,7.00809523809524,69.75357142857145,66.26190476190476,11.314285714285715,37.80952380952381,11.20814326018867,5.021395238095238,371,20,59,12,6,122,67,84,0.094,0.742,0.16399999999999998,0.7322,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,0,4,5,1,0,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,13,7,7,0,2,7,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,1,5,2,11,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,4,2,42,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925665414101786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803439140006321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388043755776893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25401510414359063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21471396981755786,0.0,0.11516343217616905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17596854185318778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24210061077722175,0.0,0.0,0.457992685917102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517217076180304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127312588663456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19887320301507247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20734618940120594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859644141490209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463561044535173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434007043447224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21955467191732467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lewypull22,2019/01/31,"Validation - Understanding our want for validation https://life582768761.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/validation/

My girlfriend wrote this beautiful essay to help herself and others understand the validation that most people search for in modern society and the issues that arise from this. We would be so grateful if you could give it a read and share it with friends and family or anyone who you think might benefit from it. 
Also if you have any general feedback it would be much appreciated! :)",11.579210526315787,13.972913236842107,9.435368421052633,54.48857894736844,54.78947368421053,12.39578947368421,36.252631578947366,11.979248473330829,5.171834736842107,410,16,53,12,5,123,58,76,0.0,0.71,0.29,0.9785,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,20,13,9,0,6,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,3,7,6,2,2,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,5,1,45,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19728049101250225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775985936571758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249364591230346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969644746469078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325604269529589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19059458151902955,0.0,0.0,0.236650630076067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535327544316422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25748364457002665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617025378733355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18134791271428216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710260276700039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24675999383151534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807106404054316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5136327157669247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550606168605554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504875925354879,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asdfghjklq1111,2019/01/31,"I cant control my thoughts I wasnt sure where to post this, and im sure there are more serious posts on here. But im wondering if anyone knows why this is happening. So, ive noticed i have a problem controlling my thoughts. i mostly noticed it at night before sleeping, but ive been trying to meditate recently and i noticed it then too. So to give you an example, i was listening to a guided meditation. the speaker said “imagine that you see an elevator and you are about to step into it” and i COULD NOT just do it for the life of me. when i imagined this elevator, its like my thoughts became really scattered and jumbled and i could not keep the elevator down. like as soon as i imagined myself get into it, it automatically just kept going up, and i didnt want it to go up yet. like i even tried imagining a big strong hand holding down the elevator, but my mind just takes over and the elevator goes up anyways. its really frustrating, because i cant seem to have any control over my thoughts. anyone know how to fix this? ",4.036552845528455,5.295537273170732,5.799512195121952,77.8247967479675,71.39024390243901,9.173983739837398,31.71544715447154,9.558583805096642,3.0081642276422755,811,37,159,19,15,279,114,205,0.059,0.8490000000000001,0.092,0.895,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,0,4,16,9,1,0,10,0,16,3,2,4,2,46,36,19,0,5,9,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,14,10,0,6,12,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,10,5,25,6,24,24,2,24,0,0,1,0,6,13,0,4,9,119,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963425683321601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376269451600747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138508224750625,0.0,0.09964627971819902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940239114332391,0.18699490593703536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734562249318558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118163883062128,0.11233615196431827,0.13310500337634956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355405779630908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25298330912734035,0.0,0.0,0.1040867899387198,0.0,0.0,0.12871381778634966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271352102731086,0.1716322657351451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824094642930112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989351037709996,0.0,0.0,0.3999686355026785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22430517420106194,0.0,0.0,0.11205203899991484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500387398683359,0.0,0.11562537722256043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139205075518872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331616539179886,0.10660644246582343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718786646757355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073694098961374,0.0,0.08804710480758764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718677454157617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901090206400476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907055794459628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566751026817184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699352907645284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pensieve_Thrown,2019/01/31,"Extreme anxiety, suicidal ideation, rage issues. Please help me. I’m a 22 year old female.
I’ve had issues with anxiety, mild OCD, and depression for most of my life, as well as anger issues. 

I developed panic disorder around 15- panic attacks that would wax and wane for hours and keep me up all night. I was prescribed Xanax and subsequently became addicted. Went through rehab at 17 to get off of them. 

Since I was 15, I’ve had several periods of my life where it seems like my poor mental health has taken over my entire world. I will have constant panic attacks that interfere with school or work. They’ll keep me up all night so my sleeping schedule begins to look more like sleeping every two days, but because I’m exhausted and depressed, I will sleep for 15 hours then lay in bed even longer. This makes me more depressed. 

I quit my job almost two months ago. I’m holding out for a better position, but to be honest, if I were trying harder, I would’ve found a job probably a month ago or more. This is making things profoundly worse because there is nothing to occupy me. My anxiety and poor sleeping habits are wrecking my body. I have little appetite, and when I do eat, I experience nausea (assuming it’s because my body isn’t used to food like it used to be, and I’m very sensitive to bodily sensations) I feel weak and tired easily. This happens every time I’m like this, yet every time my OCD convinces me I have cancer and I’m dying so I should just go ahead and kill myself rather than suffer. I’m in a vicious cycle because I’m not even sure *how* I could function at work at this point. 

Yesterday felt monumental. I had an interview I had to be awake for at 8:30 in the morning. When I woke up I didn’t want to go. My depression said there was no point. I made myself do it anyway. I think it went alright. I’ll know on Monday. It’s a pretty good position at a good company. I then went and got lunch by myself, it was relaxing. I had a panic attack on the way home so I drove around to calm myself and eventually did. When I got home I had computer problems which enraged me until I hit myself to the point of probably bruising. I took a nap so I struggled to sleep at a good time last night. Despite that I still got up before noon today (which is pretty good for me these days.) I only laid in bed for half an hour or so afterwards. I then accompanied my dad while he grocery shopped and ran an errand for my mom. I talked on the phone with my best friend and walked around Target to distract myself. But then suddenly I’m having a huge panic attack that waxes and wanes for a while and when I calm down my key got jammed and I went into a rage again. 

I always feel shame when I have a fit of rage. I hate that I’m like this. I’m a kind person and I feel guilty about being so angry. I’ll calm down and then stroke the cat or offer to do my family a favor. I feel like I have to make up for it even though I do my anger outbursts in private and hit myself. Then I feel like killing myself again. 

I’ve been relatively normal before. I’ve slept pretty good. I’ve had minimal anxiety. I’ve had almost no OCD thoughts. I’ve pushed the idea of suicide all the way out of my mind. I’ve been generally happy. It’s possible, right? But right now my mind is saying the world is so scary all the time that it’s impossible to keep going. 

I plan on getting a job. I am putting in tons of applications. I want to get back to work and have a purpose. I want to get out of bed and see and talk to people. I want to drink coffee in the morning and pick lunch spots with my coworkers. I want to have money again so I can start saving my money and get a place. I want to start working out again. I want to pick up hobbies. I want to move away to a new city in a year or so. I am excited thinking about these things but when I wake up in the morning all I feel is dread and fear. ",1.863433245275349,3.803368134085215,3.5800867032446004,88.6022414143467,78.81203007518799,6.619277924541084,22.06197927250559,7.63319966405982,0.8877854907539122,3033,90,639,46,74,1012,334,798,0.201,0.6559999999999999,0.14300000000000002,-0.9965,3,0,1,0,0,4,84.0,0,0,2,9,41,61,14,10,35,1,51,25,9,9,6,108,124,66,5,15,14,2,8,7,1,5,11,2,5,1,28,39,5,5,15,4,5,14,5,32,1,3,36,12,95,29,97,76,11,124,0,5,2,0,15,51,0,11,64,403,123,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052681419285949146,0.0,0.0,0.08567445242196642,0.0,0.09678108052773683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040210298902184666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787407266105326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290585752850972,0.0,0.21990680700340634,0.04540295950174096,0.037158967643414816,0.0,0.1178339669312528,0.0,0.0822420879787304,0.0,0.050714140978863266,0.042739564817968256,0.0,0.10735643568496618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222219316129749,0.0,0.038583606806846346,0.0,0.0,0.062331297232744574,0.0,0.1664891213094488,0.0,0.050153754975302736,0.0,0.05538467478970577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04734013505326763,0.0,0.049448573373123146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575468609330044,0.0,0.12214777426562935,0.0,0.0,0.04727115536593285,0.04555654053082892,0.054379097565878366,0.14660753289767528,0.06904682682002931,0.046399610297762885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843482202745413,0.05298590464850199,0.03733580081397237,0.0,0.12623917665618306,0.0,0.08239269014140367,0.2026637256245791,0.15459977466517086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042733667307617317,0.05144289649558748,0.0,0.04771096557241493,0.0,0.05136725056493759,0.0,0.0,0.03239125113988352,0.0,0.09694789706541028,0.0,0.14277127024549838,0.0,0.0,0.05455308039664432,0.0,0.1513163384274229,0.14386541647874238,0.12886052986281835,0.10692897868485393,0.05032308567401071,0.02655817446571944,0.03939135195549397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826680025181389,0.1652641917816369,0.04843437875884007,0.0,0.0,0.040580856959860204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04572631491212312,0.09677200483439133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048700267347464535,0.0,0.09758901532929888,0.056597694884799724,0.07714516098581026,0.05136186255154089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667261824575539,0.0,0.13604931023442415,0.04734827220949545,0.04636917273728845,0.0,0.0507089932509102,0.0,0.0,0.036753365396466564,0.0,0.2834950715474074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03350249336681513,0.042195555050983234,0.05048937428783617,0.053046374774013465,0.13704832935882766,0.054479214020361606,0.0,0.14749179593669914,0.10420511853697824,0.046240530382510914,0.0,0.04858000588058181,0.0,0.051399621307915394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253862870500417,0.04596817294256837,0.03843000606567287,0.0,0.04890751359998397,0.038508794837568,0.04399329531001266,0.0,0.05459353239931882,0.0,0.039974966881996726,0.0,0.2417996650582853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840941452468742,0.0,0.038592433977905787,0.0,0.0,0.05051981724313219,0.0,0.10571948581171066,0.0,0.045545771935397404,0.0,0.0,0.0776836624141867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421000958373323,0.06192946005530745,0.04747909980910237,0.03836467844236737,0.11271486203215166,0.05554251682197373,0.04580648102372787,0.0,0.05369089004996798,0.03280952543865207,0.0,0.09441307116770584,0.0,0.0,0.0834746257321545,0.0,0.03987321343863238,0.22802685335705575,0.07671632409833233,0.0,0.0,0.0434500084954562,0.17919115988432407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072479901917032,0.0,0.049247337405435535,0.0686574342165502,0.0,0.0,0.062239474029848
mentalhealth,gremlingirlseries,2019/01/31,"Animated Web Series About Anxiety Check out this comedic take on anxiety and neuroses.  It's a heartfelt, relatable view of how we all have an overactive inner critic. [https://youtu.be/jTjNLHc8HRM](https://youtu.be/jTjNLHc8HRM)",14.027999999999999,19.263504466666667,8.763333333333332,50.045000000000016,54.33333333333333,12.0,40.0,11.20814326018867,6.487,194,9,19,6,3,52,29,30,0.157,0.655,0.189,0.481,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,4,2,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8974848393590563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410453073332137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MFwarlock,2019/01/31,"I start CBT tomorrow can my therapist help with IBS? I’ve had a rough couple of months, I didn’t look after myself properly after a tragic incident I was consumed by work and stressed out which led to insomnia anxiety and depression. During these months I was eating very badly literally eating junk food mostly sugar. I’ve realised how much of a role food plays in your mental health so I’ve been eating clean past 3 weeks and I feel better. However I feel like I’ve damaged my body I’m dealing with IBS symptoms all the time plus my gut constantly makes acidic noises, I feel bloated etc.  I’ve tried reducing stress but feeling depressed is something I can’t change I am trying though. Sleep is still a problem I’m getting roughly 4-7 hours depending on the night.


When I searched for CBT locally I found a women and her specialities are childhood trauma, OCD, Anxiety, depression and gastrointestinal disorders so does this mean she could possibly help me I believe my mental health is playing a role in my gut health and isn’t helping me heal ",4.54186274509804,6.811569924242432,5.2816458704694025,77.94050802139041,71.97979797979798,8.497207367795601,30.333927510398087,9.168548406835145,2.9747114676173503,847,37,144,19,17,274,132,198,0.162,0.741,0.097,-0.9331,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,6,15,0,2,8,0,14,16,4,4,1,25,26,13,0,2,1,0,6,1,0,0,6,0,1,1,3,10,6,0,6,2,0,1,3,10,0,0,6,9,23,5,14,19,4,21,0,5,1,0,10,5,0,2,16,79,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385965496024732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942252090840029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206629930785992,0.0,0.09471965190646862,0.0,0.11896195318446602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329569159539098,0.0,0.0,0.11573510350650333,0.0,0.08550919555699565,0.1185021178184219,0.0,0.0,0.1104135383274504,0.2767305601462569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274381218847615,0.0,0.09372235382037107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287645775376207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944279966205512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21660826515319495,0.07651097325738165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25900712958733474,0.11742764498494555,0.0,0.0,0.0559543875599119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415211254695131,0.0,0.0,0.21535699152661286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547015064764706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232276926152735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993551201738413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714888780551415,0.0,0.0,0.1166613333253842,0.0,0.0,0.21585958540057432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096951796225138,0.0,0.07872949759055436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005044027503539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223734734499146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207371251935916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024785104962173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717554192686912,0.0,0.0,0.08244942431034437,0.0,0.0,0.0758046549900709,0.0,0.08552875838066104,0.0,0.24536124538070656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113160337358048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434926118198697,0.0,0.0,0.10522343467708813,0.0,0.06244981986739007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454252911559376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836722866470978,0.0,0.0,0.08590771348143321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796876286922158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HarrISIS,2019/01/31,"Hey guys I’ve had my fair share of issues, I was severely depressed the last few years, was being the keyword.

I suffer from social anxiety now and hyperhidrosis makes it worse. On to the point what I wanted to ask was well my memory is very bad, very very bad.

 I woke up at 5am today and walked downstairs into the kitchen to take a medication, I know I drank water but when I got back upstairs I didn’t remember if I took the pill or not and I just stood there for 5 minutes wondering how the fuck it’s  possible not to remember that. I don’t want to risk taking another because the side effects from one are pretty mild so I genuinely don’t know if I took it or not.

Is this normal, my ability to focus is also bad in school, but I doubt it’s ADHD. Any thoughts would help",3.094420289855069,4.235108416149068,4.887220496894411,83.92018892339546,73.53416149068323,8.348033126293997,25.83902691511387,8.841846274778883,1.8219312629399584,609,20,128,12,12,208,107,161,0.182,0.716,0.102,-0.9243,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,9,10,1,2,8,0,13,6,0,3,0,28,30,13,0,6,10,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,7,4,3,0,7,0,0,3,6,8,1,1,12,0,17,2,15,16,1,16,0,2,0,1,6,7,1,6,6,83,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398507610793045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911814557961773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278993915077233,0.1430785813673594,0.10438304415588877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275613134133748,0.0,0.0,0.10492079079205324,0.3417874259814692,0.0831779902447227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175232479121167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614482037870725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091306597225767,0.0,0.0,0.13510587528653165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145882945278344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241721352357228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499775071081887,0.11122407482358976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108070826214218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374579236244847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336909628526249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246131405515264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898832596789686,0.15382564638495344,0.0,0.13881759771081836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30914003620132385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380935835415435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414843185190605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909248230467794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051852010023408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832519458783628,0.0,0.0,0.12933761396523674,0.0,0.303199523540592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33775392730613363,0.16096220706151476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226839586883031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797302447645647,0.0,0.0,0.13905309842204536,0.0969293921306021,0.0,0.0,0.08786862563511467
mentalhealth,HolgaLovesSnails,2019/01/31,"Racing thoughts. Hello r/mentalhealth!

I'm new to this subreddit as I just discovered it. I just wanted to ask for some help/people who relate to this issue. 
 
I want to preface this by saying:
I'll be going to a psychologist soon. I have been talking to my schoolpsychologist, but she decided that my problems are far too compilcated for her to help me with.

So something I've always had is racing thoughts. It's not something that only happens in depressed periods or in stressful times, but I have it all the time. It takes a lot for me to be able to concentrate. Everything I see is connected with a memory and those memories have other memories and etc. It's really annoying, because when I'm trying to do homework I get easily distracted. My family and friends have no idea what I'm talking about half of the time, because to them it seems unrelated. I could almost compare it dominos falling into bigger patches of dominos. It's honestly exhausting and it affects me on a daily basis. And it's similar to the sounds of cars driving by really fast on the highway during peak hours. It makes things like reading long texts and listening during conversations really difficult.

It gets more extreme when I'm sad, angry or stressed. To the point where I just blurt out ever single thought I have in order to get rid of it, if I don't get the time to calm down for a bit.

Does anyone relate to this? If yes, what have you done to make yourself be able to concentrate better despite this?

Thank you so much in advance!",4.796736677115987,6.467539789655174,6.030219435736675,75.30717868338559,70.06896551724138,9.272727272727273,31.457680250783696,9.688023934748609,3.2777241379310333,1209,53,209,29,22,405,168,290,0.14800000000000002,0.759,0.094,-0.958,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,1,2,12,15,1,3,11,1,18,1,0,3,2,38,41,17,0,6,10,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,26,10,0,0,6,1,0,5,3,9,0,1,6,4,22,6,41,31,8,32,0,2,1,0,15,13,0,8,14,151,48,2,0.24191245168304604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112018808966216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064526950137433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457540548072504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130777432715552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746758519578712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697595235339484,0.13205287123110815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657370403678173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417942007840984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584960834353876,0.12378021414051088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348981651476222,0.0,0.10941183114827427,0.0,0.0,0.1087076564838952,0.0,0.11402676489496195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934504800402695,0.0,0.2527785428723157,0.0,0.06874221058305591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696119104758854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621488170675177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191175176776335,0.0,0.0,0.1365448561326686,0.0,0.12624687436449866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059093102211206186,0.0,0.0,0.10704245359929508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283265777489414,0.0,0.0,0.16147843997940614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891674339523926,0.0,0.0,0.11682027664369332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199266024876253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385581718935982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143427299275221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573877263522275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098895831404675,0.0,0.23246296660576415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618924561659882,0.0,0.0,0.09638645174034234,0.11011400520798438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18623602407867146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27710989606607245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094402864478672,0.19444006518202767,0.0,0.11136024177342194,0.0,0.0,0.0803579418168606,0.0,0.0,0.2880771971299008,0.28212219196957483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212133757120432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426862317381602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheLoneGinger9,2019/01/31,"Just feel trapped mentally and I don’t know what to do I don’t really have anyone that I can talk to and I have $10 in my account atm so a therapist isn’t an option.
I feel so depressed and just want things to end. I’m stuck in a job I hate and hate myself for bad choices that I’ve made. I can barely get up on time and haven’t showered in a few days so I hate my self image. I’m constantly thinking of old past mistakes I’ve made and it’s a constant heaviness in my head that I can’t get rid of. All I want to do is sit and cry.
How do I get happy again. Or at least content. Where do I start. I’m self destructing

If you’ve taken the time to read this thank you. Just needed a place to vent because I don’t know what else to do",-1.1126973684210526,0.6975126488095285,1.765563909774439,98.15312030075188,89.17857142857143,4.965413533834587,17.770676691729324,6.339386263674448,-0.36981428571428543,567,15,145,6,19,198,91,168,0.203,0.742,0.056,-0.978,2,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,9,9,4,0,7,0,16,1,1,3,1,26,39,13,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,8,7,0,0,5,1,2,0,6,7,0,0,4,2,18,2,17,35,3,20,0,1,0,0,4,9,0,3,10,87,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127492953803358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209346739651017,0.08829262605930384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130394193027378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909904942226472,0.09340929549750032,0.0,0.12474978237211885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099455813830882,0.0,0.1282845320582161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647009309478748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270174967469258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418401135021811,0.0,0.4289961428189453,0.14864679535720718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373054732098214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15919966223576834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27410068785762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145963837283233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739642435817426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198436564758958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826539603919766,0.0,0.0,0.1513261264153132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487838584383367,0.0,0.09278769412685606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021977274771756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251792437893643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641625475368456,0.0,0.13334846667110542,0.0,0.16816946342017294,0.09622472217622044,0.09280710479530864,0.0,0.0,0.1689137932619542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085981418821594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dawglover6969,2019/01/31,What to do to take my mind off of harming myself? Looking for anything simple to ease the thoughts. I’m just having a hard time right now. ,1.5720238095238095,3.918550249999999,2.3785714285714303,94.63309523809528,82.21428571428572,3.733333333333334,23.619047619047624,3.1291,-0.03089523809523786,109,4,22,0,3,34,26,28,0.16399999999999998,0.754,0.08199999999999999,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,6,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35187704617297083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3830441739419439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590749592417833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4317524853710541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36516669383593225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215007785237189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33946536322885584,0.2493360633695543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jawesome420,2019/01/31,"Lost my therapist due to financial reasons Taking it pretty hard. We went over the rules about payment and weekly consistency but due to life events I couldn’t make it. Called her to tell her I had to cancel but would make the next appointment. She told me about low cost therapy but I just don’t think I’ll receive the help I was getting. I felt very comfortable with her and liked the treatment I was receiving. 

I’m scared and frustrated that I have to restart all over. Explain everything session after session after session. I know this takes time and is a huge setback but I’m just pissed off and needed to vent somewhere.

Has anyone had a positive experience with a low cost therapist? I liked the experience mine had and could quickly assess my emotions and what I was going through. I just feel like idk it’s not going to be the same or take forever to find the right one that it’ll be too late. ",4.2309415584415575,6.03323125,4.800357142857145,83.03750000000002,71.72727272727273,8.21038961038961,29.048701298701296,8.841846274778883,2.3392724025974023,724,29,138,14,14,231,107,176,0.13699999999999998,0.713,0.15,0.6746,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,7,10,2,1,10,0,16,2,1,3,1,34,35,12,0,4,9,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,7,0,2,5,3,6,0,1,10,3,20,4,18,19,2,22,0,3,0,0,12,7,1,1,13,92,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604933209376002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486931379143334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109403144694635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17060534608657713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630882758489798,0.2967195266669594,0.0,0.0,0.07668756530005613,0.10835117955811313,0.14562443310837286,0.0,0.13862120306714085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923992645046304,0.0,0.17239209147257606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586414809147093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165942245303504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335240481858368,0.0,0.1710873681437119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712712911806753,0.22229100712765465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556282022512575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20247825724301255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245941245671434,0.0,0.0,0.1612999390371407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277371624298046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543002123910308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15593928792143014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952308152562458,0.0,0.0,0.151845468104162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34210489825768897,0.0,0.132563942074216,0.0,0.17344482372301248,0.3521949480612126,0.0,0.09718230881021626,0.0,0.0,0.08843844690174009,0.0,0.0,0.1449246450143548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514144118770648,0.0,0.0,0.1216583934639162,0.0,0.0,0.1405971456911386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774012833619184,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Free-vbucks,2019/01/31,"I feel like I’m two people living in the same body. I’m not sure if this is the place to post this but I’m starting to feel like this is consuming and ruining my life. 

So for the past couple months if not years I’ve had this really weird thing where I feel like there are two different sides of me. I have a nice and happy side that is increasingly beginning to feel like a fake persona or facade that I have in public which is alright. However the other side of me scares me, when I was younger it used to just be when I was angry, I would turn into a aggressive monster and fight people almost as if a switch flipped in my brain and I would go off on people in some cases straight up attacking them. However now it feels like it has gotten worse, instead of attacking others it gives me really dark thoughts about things that make me disgusted I can even think things like that. I have found that when I’m in this “side” of me I come across as callous, which no emotion whatsoever and sometimes feel like a psychopath. Not caring about others even those close to me and just turning all care and emotions off like a faucet. I try me best to control it and only show my “good” side in public but now when compounded with the stress of my life I find it increasingly hard and I live in fear because when that switch flips I can completely destroy the relationship that I have with someone, driving away friends or offending family members. I have tried various tests online but I have never got any formal ones because I fear that I will worry my parents (I’m 16) and I fear the results I may get back. When I tested myself online I showed multiple markers for high functioning autism as well as psychopathy, sociopathy and borderline personality disorder. I know this probably just sounds stupid but that I can use this is just a place for me to vent about my fears and see if maybe anyone can come up with ways for me to overcome or at least suppress into submission my darker side before it ruins my life in a way that a apology won’t fix.
Thanks for making it to the end of this, sorry about any formatting issues I’m on mobile.",7.157548275113907,6.445752410501196,7.242500542417009,77.05947222824908,64.27446300715991,10.673074419613801,32.64927316120634,10.018931242160765,2.9840062052505965,1696,57,329,32,22,547,211,419,0.195,0.674,0.131,-0.9866,5,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,24,37,8,6,17,1,26,5,2,6,3,65,61,34,0,6,18,1,7,8,1,5,3,1,0,1,35,20,0,2,11,2,0,6,6,18,1,3,7,9,46,19,50,48,8,56,0,2,1,0,10,31,0,10,24,231,81,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592861737586272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103128331397151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05301918452603955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725256601420565,0.07124086486617562,0.05830538408734346,0.0,0.09244544636427167,0.0,0.06452219789527372,0.0,0.07957453223155732,0.0,0.0,0.08422540524977984,0.0,0.08464670522628158,0.0,0.0,0.15461897778193573,0.0,0.0,0.13063447977196171,0.07950194183514599,0.0,0.08504511779353481,0.0,0.08389984048712677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792218553656084,0.08690297230953012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058770945008722,0.06715918054010488,0.0,0.0,0.1001644933448932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148184575066716,0.34130056575600737,0.2300389127525088,0.32501993567635096,0.0,0.0,0.06930343642466742,0.0,0.0,0.08313911062848788,0.058582849436426374,0.0,0.0396158674398111,0.07273904704052396,0.04309356753201185,0.06359911005335551,0.06064484438971601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071800776392737,0.06792505144460699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011415426218148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914246807001776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04167189405642346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067408198575225,0.2963573698565209,0.0,0.13391119707601293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122866284331697,0.0,0.07617723957397061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060523455400068524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058481555880473185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513815459120089,0.05766896181043993,0.0,0.0,0.0841956126618987,0.0,0.07238433617882817,0.15770425290450746,0.0662081914555615,0.1584437107312168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262018652208414,0.0,0.08175307127029924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715193876901153,0.0,0.0,0.08140856616364074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591488540200929,0.0,0.0604233706192053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424698109044708,0.0,0.07499368636045739,0.08488081057663484,0.05366991391321721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685823396298771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146494896551585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981023825886386,0.0,0.0,0.15112593978488925,0.048586131206559406,0.0,0.06019724050019633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296152470011287,0.16495346179268314,0.14814163918986922,0.0,0.0,0.1309783458347242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037403151901276,0.0,0.0,0.06817652896702217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700481271106778,0.07727300043040276,0.1077289905053886,0.0,0.0,0.04882934953317556
mentalhealth,monwoo101,2019/01/31,"What to do when nothing changes or you have no hope in anything being better then mundane? I’m a loser with no job, can’t drive, no friends and obviously still lives with my parents. I sometimes feel like nothing will ever change and that therapy and medication won’t make me a different person, especially since I’ve always been this way. Even if I had a job I doubt it would be better then a another high stress-low paying job that most people work because they aren’t smart/talented enough to finish college or just don’t live in an area that offers better. My therapist ask how I’m doing and don’t know how to respond. I’m still miserable! I’m still just stuck in my room playing video games all day! What exactly did you expect to change?! They talk as if the medication is supposed to transform me into this awesome person that I never was to begin with. How can therapy and medication work if you’re Forever stuck in a bad situation? Like as long as Someone is doped up with medication then They can magically tolerate bad things and forget that life is terrible at home. It almost feels like my therapist is just trying to find some kind of medication for me that’ll just make me complacent and accept the shitty life I have ",6.635463239689178,6.846519937238496,7.311371787208607,73.04975941422597,65.10878661087867,10.510579796772266,32.97101016138673,10.290406445055957,3.3599286312014343,991,38,180,22,14,329,139,239,0.147,0.732,0.121,-0.6748,6,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,3,6,13,17,0,2,8,0,24,7,0,5,5,44,38,22,0,6,9,1,2,3,1,4,7,0,2,2,13,12,0,0,5,3,1,1,9,6,0,0,6,2,18,11,23,26,4,25,0,2,0,0,14,10,0,10,16,121,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270851900744387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703648770484256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708136690802058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618793528688937,0.0,0.08655262410630787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15460590578572128,0.056437748490717435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456464674101824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938216711425716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970838745290113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967295485918102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566300666662353,0.0,0.06115021026372605,0.0837466403217614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362551148884428,0.1322826532157558,0.0,0.0,0.08461920123281391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152941009846021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781904175094104,0.09286831588168132,0.09195582704117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275623078920076,0.0,0.0,0.0964109662608113,0.05088120547595084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078824733536296,0.13569415823976982,0.0,0.16350500230994164,0.0819330575739148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235997669607394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4663382523880539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140573109728822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776718056311571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280248510478464,0.0,0.0,0.06418540744033112,0.16167984056977347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765856292736763,0.10406719138661584,0.0,0.0,0.07844529076711539,0.0,0.09156697221246816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22181075347420706,0.0,0.10605353439335112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441472294194372,0.0,0.0,0.2117534997052201,0.2149920396285801,0.061508043323153926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628577919603357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348809035887073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134803079626172,0.0,0.0,0.06576831970007987,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,School94,2019/01/31,"I feel like I've lost control over my life I don't know how to begin this post so I'll just take it from the start.

In 2012 I started suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. I got help and 6 months later I was back on my feet. The anxiety wasn't gone but I had learned how to cope with it and it no longer controlled my life as it had done before. Or so I thought.  
I started having suicidal thoughts way more often and intensely and I started drinking a lot. I tried to party my sadness away and I surrounded myself with like-minded people. Everything started spiraling out of control. I woke up in the hospital after a night of partying and I decided to really try to take control of my life again. I met a girl who became my girlfriend, everything was going better, she moved in with me, I finished school and I got a job.  
Me and her were happy together and life was pretty good for the next 3 years. But I started to feel like shit again and I went back to drinking and partying. Nothing made me happy. I used to travel a lot to compete in e-sport tournaments, my biggest passion in life, but I didn't care about that at all anymore. It all happened so fast, it was like someone flipped a switch. I changed a lot, me and my girlfriend would fight all the time and I didn't help out around the house. I would always be too hungover to be around and I was never happy. She broke up with me and moved out, breaking my heart completely. I really loved her (still do) very, very much. Life became unbearable. I would drink every day after work, alone. Again, 6 months later I decided to get my shit together and I started to look into studying in another town. Get away from the all the old memories, start fresh and meet new people. I applied for a school and I actually got in! I was very happy for a few days, but from april - august I don't really remember much. In august I moved in to a dorm, I started studying, got a part time job as a DJ and made a lot of new friends. But I couldn't shake the feeling of dread.

I've been living here for 6 months now. I feel like I have done everything I can to become happy again. I've been dating a lot but I am completely unable to feel anything for the women I meet. It's just temporary company and I've ended up hurting a lot of people which makes me feel like shit. I can no longer sleep at night. I get panic attacks again. I worry about everything. I'm falling behind in school because I'm always exhausted. When I drink I don't worry, but obviously the next day the anxiety is waaay worse. I've tried to find things to do that are productive and healthy to occupy my mind but it feels like I've lost the ability to socialize sober. I've been trying to get back in to the e-sport I used to play, but I get bored within minutes. I enjoy going to quiz nights at the pub but I find it hard to be sober unless my company is also sober, which they never are. Everything has gotten out of control. I procrastinate everything. I have no energy to function as a responsible adult anymore.

The past is looping inside my head 24/7, and when I try to imagine my future I see nothing. I fake laugh when I'm with friends, because I feel empty inside. I am paranoid all the time. If I hear a car outside my hearts starts beating really fast. If someone looks at me on the bus I feel like they are about to expose me. I don't trust people anymore, I don't talk to my family anymore. I'm always worried about the police coming to arrest me or that someone is going to expose me. I delete my facebook account every other week. I hide from my dorm mates. I don't know what I'm afraid of, I have nothing to hide or expose but the feeling is so strong that I can't control it.

I can't even cry anymore, I can't feel anything but worries.

Anti-depressants have not helped. I also stopped taking them because I became convinced that they were turning me bald, again without any reasonable evidence.

What do I do? What is this?",1.8951597725004348,4.079375135168959,3.6397870756166704,86.98113179448995,79.87609511889862,6.49863595316931,24.50691528968172,7.628239200369755,1.3484385893759607,3099,115,616,49,79,1035,305,799,0.155,0.6859999999999999,0.159,0.9427,2,1,4,0,1,0,89.0,0,0,4,13,34,45,6,5,37,0,57,22,9,14,8,115,124,55,1,6,22,0,12,7,5,3,7,1,2,3,25,36,4,7,23,8,1,13,20,20,0,0,33,16,108,25,97,84,16,111,0,6,3,2,28,34,3,12,68,414,133,11,0.0,0.0,0.04003611545135709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042491261050236526,0.0,0.0656180324165702,0.1024124375177485,0.0,0.0,0.02789954504259953,0.04302004465164756,0.09415587946594643,0.0,0.20343718102376146,0.0,0.0,0.06752291366198368,0.07304487566822257,0.0,0.09334752848082048,0.07709182108467708,0.09464093915995482,0.0,0.07502843864187067,0.04531073790031128,0.03491067763899533,0.0,0.0,0.03628475897102509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04182942821459228,0.0,0.04340078092826702,0.03534084672114736,0.0860313738098572,0.0,0.2760894193541995,0.0,0.0,0.04506587469543455,0.07937643162983103,0.0,0.03533621401937734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396906289056799,0.0,0.16076208519010826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03633745561706028,0.0,0.0,0.02709773110730471,0.0,0.06913348427001652,0.0,0.2212327739299413,0.0,0.03867629676987063,0.0,0.2281875088068896,0.175856783723656,0.0,0.0,0.07499527316856623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633942128000165,0.0,0.10717371871190727,0.0,0.06994921252680425,0.034411227478695634,0.13125111555516258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03627975214087779,0.2183682856931013,0.03675184125692265,0.0,0.042105203505435534,0.0,0.04624004309049888,0.09723361195658388,0.08249794391120005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047339273208368435,0.04391990282731821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142528643627651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045094373950851696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387011800963406,0.16034848381628616,0.0,0.03622730460112783,0.0,0.06890414630553887,0.0,0.08957092172492301,0.20927646557718352,0.03702817488483688,0.07764086144939135,0.027385623332961868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285049027814627,0.0,0.09824129880848377,0.1308145843966627,0.06031865165222543,0.0,0.06328460008395471,0.07924763440183326,0.08726466602879232,0.1155022623897874,0.0,0.11809859999447142,0.0,0.043050592714483374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962719240065504,0.0,0.044427889695683065,0.03916460239859312,0.11377091946731167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03929221267184853,0.04173887660110834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513095111463376,0.04218225364021351,0.0,0.0,0.046475223733336686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245635525587864,0.032692947270215884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263398732325345,0.0,0.0,0.04105630276434601,0.0418215273192583,0.1042853027000582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903889087253492,0.0,0.03276395468595879,0.03430013634227988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044876522228952616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254085857526934,0.032975686330575515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02725629906616965,0.0,0.0,0.06514119253254283,0.07176895024624033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392720922131045,0.04462523997886405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086774719836136,0.0,0.1015539076157906,0.0,0.032565064020969585,0.032909123024477765,0.0,0.0,0.03803213763308859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03954824949443811,0.0,0.029867907145312383,0.16665831486836036,0.041809685600021115,0.08743251584545361,0.0,0.0,0.026419832809188703
mentalhealth,mildlymolded,2019/01/31,I haven't been well since my shitty father died and I'm spiraling My abusive and alcoholic father passed away last month. I hated him. We haven't been in contact for years. I didn't cry over him and I didn't feel anything but everything has been extra hard for me lately. I recently relocated to a foreign country where I don't know if I can get help in. I have no one around me to talk to. All my friends and family are in another continent. I'm being very high functioning because I just started a new job and I can't let my mental health damage that but putting up a strong front is draining the life out of me. I'm spiraling. I have some suicidal tendencies which I haven't had since I was a teen. I haven't been eating right. Haven't been sleeping well.  And I constantly feel like I have to work twice or thrice as hard to attain the things that others get so easily. Things that were handed to them on a silver platter that I have to fight tooth and nail to get even a fraction of. I'm beginning to think if it's all worth it. If anything is. Everything I desire is years away from my grasp. I'm having massive tidal waves of sadness and anxiety wash over me every now and then throughout the day. You know how they say life is like a rollercoaster and no matter how low you get you're bound to get up again? Mine feels like it's been going down for years with no sign of going up anytime soon. I'm not exactly a weak person. I have lived through the shits and came out the other side fine. But I just feel like I lost it. Like this was the tipping point. The hair that broke the camel's back or what have you. What if it never gets better? What if I never achieve the things I want in life? What if I'm still not happy even when I do? Coming here was supposed to be a blank slate and a fresh start and a stepping stone for me to reach my goals. But this blank page just feels more and more tainted. I need to get out. I don't know how long I can do this before I crack. But I'm in no position to crack. I don't have that luxury. I don't have the luxury to have feelings right now. I don't know anything,1.461123293561215,3.3871132618510167,2.8540454692034842,93.38695447705042,80.03837471783297,6.205503600988928,20.479898957325595,7.2636822038024595,0.3991939589379778,1657,44,371,22,42,538,207,443,0.152,0.7340000000000001,0.114,-0.9512,1,0,1,0,1,0,35.0,1,3,2,7,21,21,3,0,21,0,47,13,5,3,5,67,84,34,2,9,18,2,10,5,1,0,7,1,0,1,24,22,2,1,12,0,1,8,21,9,2,2,15,11,51,12,45,66,7,57,0,5,0,0,17,25,1,9,29,252,75,4,0.0,0.10593606329450517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555194870718474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375403364796422,0.06839829791813057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073008887143572,0.07959373109283409,0.0,0.0,0.16800701269562374,0.06875066314106773,0.0,0.054503420579432686,0.0,0.07608120522753227,0.0,0.0,0.07907575505846147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226106039829663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701867721132416,0.0,0.09662029486323462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821253247836643,0.057661962790745314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927933183358432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914886076331679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181087381284453,0.0,0.07533166298333803,0.0,0.16071163337162986,0.0,0.08428765841837016,0.0,0.2712498690737257,0.19162326482870112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907783578638536,0.0,0.32699072993343153,0.0,0.10162736739721864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517845818291228,0.16018734474717505,0.08827372583870685,0.0,0.09503849983030113,0.0,0.0,0.059929544254454126,0.09446642567793996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872548954978167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19654928240806085,0.0728809690019292,0.10085821612141728,0.0,0.0,0.09142763921072716,0.18945848413509786,0.21840570582916047,0.0,0.07895054414870563,0.07912491223926896,0.0,0.0,0.09760142367676496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010410911883407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713660969647363,0.0,0.0,0.06629627803333403,0.1379167914332191,0.0863525996124983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060586434854318076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806924076036939,0.0,0.0,0.08452121720398607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988160413220887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828144993328656,0.0,0.0,0.15271106325336886,0.0,0.07110230905455432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917779360918519,0.14792151970166698,0.0,0.08947443039629872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656951772173186,0.0,0.07140282942384428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977998746659996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186425841338802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819981363065232,0.057290227861391964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377249798157713,0.05273625175996652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078040306251748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650914427023647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273105462047014
mentalhealth,Tryingtostaystrong86,2019/01/31,Trying to survive for years I can’t explain why I’m going through what I’m going through but I’ve been trying with all of the strength inside of me to stay strong for years now. The pain I have suffered has been too much for me it’s been consistent for years now. For years I’ve been breaking down in pain feeling like I can’t do this anymore I can’t live this life anymore. It would be so relieving to think that I could leave this world and be free from the pain and suffering but no matter how much this hell im in hurts there’s no way out. I have a beautiful daughter that I could never leave. I could never leave her I love her so much she means everything to me. I’m so tired of suffering. I don’t want to live my life anymore. I wish someone knew what I am going through. I’ve been suffering for years because of it. I can’t handle it anymore but I can’t leave my daughter. I don’t know what to do. ,0.2718181818181833,2.4205975641025645,1.9057925407925431,97.18610139860142,86.17948717948721,4.981351981351981,21.17132867132868,6.351523495107088,0.13099999999999978,715,24,165,7,22,232,87,195,0.269,0.585,0.146,-0.984,0,0,0,0,0,2,12.0,0,0,0,3,8,15,1,0,4,0,24,7,0,1,3,24,39,9,0,6,3,2,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,13,4,0,0,6,0,1,3,11,9,0,0,6,1,23,7,25,27,4,20,1,5,0,1,7,5,1,0,10,110,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156572605500812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638733521086035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509766276100781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941701514984232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298027846254922,0.07485536465101864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864788721395852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216992391066777,0.0,0.11318115405025525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057584741418416914,0.0,0.0,0.4437905976239053,0.0,0.0,0.14801943729368938,0.051190565299009165,0.0,0.18504658430480508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456868736056503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141369175551972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310776480822192,0.0,0.16162669585231612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33448220915483445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878036088299755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168230204314174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713925213629049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043001950491128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14227845674290931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180238124033285,0.08317005544707459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454829885041137,0.0,0.1204926526430675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443321454408015,0.0,0.0,0.33737672958783904
mentalhealth,dlbrt,2019/01/31,"Can't stop thinking about the past So this is kind of weird and the title doesn't perfectly describe what I'm dealing with. It's not that I can't stop thinking about things that happened or that I'm dogged by mistakes I've made, things like that. Sure, I overthink some decisions I've made, but that's a matter of mindset, I'd say. The ""issue"" I'm talking about consists more of flashes of extremely detailed recall of events in the past, some recent, some not so recent. These are so detailed that I feel like I could pretty much reconstruct my entire life day by day if I wanted to. For instance, I recently went on an extended trip abroad, and on occasion I will get these flashbacks to it where I feel like I recall almost everything, the people on the street around me, the way the road turned, how the food tasted at one specific meal. These flashbacks are in an odd way kind of debilitating because they're so detailed they're all I can think about and they take genuine energy to snap out of. I mean, it is kinda cool to be able to see what my mind can reconstruct, but recently it's been getting to the point of interfering with my work, daily life, etc.....

... Is this more or less normal? Is this associated with anything else? ",7.7252766251728895,6.586942547717843,7.567811203319504,76.5757278699862,63.35684647302905,10.522959889349927,34.60615491009682,9.516144504307137,3.00646030428769,978,35,189,15,12,313,133,241,0.036000000000000004,0.863,0.101,0.9243,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,2,11,10,0,0,13,1,15,5,0,3,3,43,34,13,0,5,7,0,2,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,20,8,3,2,9,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,4,6,16,8,32,27,9,27,0,0,1,0,4,12,0,8,14,122,36,1,0.11753124877035133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769056828979654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671820342659446,0.10462772947736426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164595836479512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383913853837186,0.0,0.0,0.1515958646785213,0.12116955670241697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818227706718648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310784103614644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562950793612247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885466159436998,0.1679286952107858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211925254033986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281045311821448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393249513471188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267208813917428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447814187969549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603159363692802,0.17225949424951786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22242181874642947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280259853771514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867305686523348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639899116501543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515566954800582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796422158994159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22439375177860404,0.08148136933304015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110501954484164,0.0,0.0,0.11957153324609435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4641917163408852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346556638108933,0.0,0.0,0.09365718844789474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965227733459209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107718110408606,0.0,0.08836887213092126,0.09446716575703164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616507847599584,0.2259278355246473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278402487144561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932297565440695,0.18658166928916145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089526451053101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855641488952327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Picky_consumer,2019/01/31,"How do I snap out of this state of lethargy? I am experiencing a weird state of mind. I am 45 years old man with an okay job and a good family.  While my job is okay, I don't see any meaningful growth here, so I need to move on.  I have been trying to change this job for about two years but I haven't had any luck. 

​

I know that I need to keep working on my skills and applying for jobs until I get another job and I have earmarked certain things I need to do. But my mind just doesn't want to do it; it keeps on finding excuses to avoid doing what I should be doing.  There is no motivation. As a result, I feel guilty at the end of the day that I have wasted another day without doing anything to achieve my goals. But that guilt goes away after a few hours and I am back to my old ways.

​

On the other hand, my mind is generally calm ( I meditate) and I am happy with my family relations.  I work out regularly and read a lot of books.

​

How do I get out of this state of lethargy?

Thanks",2.2678412874583778,3.626456028301888,3.967869034406217,88.82640954495008,75.9811320754717,7.441065482796893,23.319644839067703,8.124751697461798,1.058195560488346,786,23,178,13,17,264,112,212,0.129,0.74,0.131,0.3561,5,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,6,8,11,0,2,9,2,24,1,1,4,1,39,36,15,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,11,11,0,3,5,2,0,2,5,3,0,1,2,4,27,8,33,32,2,27,0,0,1,0,2,9,0,2,12,125,38,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016185763200411,0.3382553994912771,0.12620277122274362,0.1945999063738935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635947837289894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718064617755206,0.07135091734095952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981610778601455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968565110006466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218570573560095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495109061950967,0.0,0.04691815831970878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480972797251989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695943272936802,0.0,0.0,0.07782908757753307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987782516150357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138091240590596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604061096772952,0.16495465469663168,0.0,0.0,0.05099576848352369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888799461070832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810788165443184,0.0,0.0,0.09862265401342947,0.0,0.2064111110141748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19473808963743705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281658665603386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394279259106946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542992414043858,0.0,0.0,0.06164653348601675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299932118766048,0.0,0.09064378888882993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473081666829382,0.07365355453318702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944767155854515,0.0,0.1351065992870683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382553994912771,0.11950933646660315
mentalhealth,WorkInProgressMH,2019/01/31,"BetterHelp Alternative needed? Hey guys

I am reading a lot about the BetterHelp controversy lately and I have a question concerning the service itself and the way it works: would you like to use a platform like it if it wouldn't be run by non tested ""experts"" and only gave your data to licensed therapists you were referred to by the site and agree to meet?",9.9826368159204,8.148975820895526,9.675223880597015,65.47412935323385,59.44776119402986,12.515422885572141,41.73631840796021,11.20814326018867,4.765849751243781,288,13,48,6,3,94,48,67,0.0,0.8809999999999999,0.119,0.782,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,0,6,0,0,1,0,12,9,5,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,5,2,7,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,3,35,9,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975606567553628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389980651011084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936364117088724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255490163027693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22283073051430785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285579335677313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366496035819979,0.0,0.300599919841354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489252515441322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595515778878201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385376729135246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21878111649503584,0.0,0.0,0.21347978775986864,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psychonaut94,2019/01/31,"Idk 24year old guy from scotland al try keep this simple when i was 12 found out ma mom was abused she tried to kill herself a few times i got the fear that if i left her i would never see her again so always stayed with her to protect her from herself anyway now my mom seems good

Not to long after that say 13 i started getting panic attacks they stoped never felt the same again depersonlization is how i would have described it i have never been near a docter  so i cant say for sure ha

Got myself a girlfriend :D 21yo moved in with her had some bad retroactive jellosy got me reall depressed

23 yo i would describe my life as living in a dream nothing feels as if there is any real point to it also realized the way i was with my gf was probably some sort of BDP just my guess im 24 just now and i have gotten better at controlling my outburst honestly couldn't ask for a better gf

Ok now this just happend up untill just now i didnt realise the stuff i seen as a kid mom trying to kill herself guys getting there necks slashed uncle getting a spade threw the head etc. Might have just fucked me up a little  i came to this realisation becauce just last friday my did opend up about a guy that lives in the same town as us abused him when he was younger a d he went into grate detail with me but never thought about all this stuff before i always rememberd when i was yoind and everything seemed real and there

Sorry about this my head has been a mess thoughts just fly past and i find it hard to stay on the same subject i just want to feel like i did before all this happend when i was young am i never talk about this stuff but a need actual help now cauce am feeling suicidal n shit 
",2.940366352844862,4.468754464183384,3.7759424887433504,90.19119985673358,74.55873925501433,6.1318460908718775,23.066004911993453,6.5431188927421005,0.477538600081866,1344,37,284,10,28,429,197,349,0.128,0.795,0.077,-0.9579,0,0,0,0,2,0,2.0,1,0,1,3,31,18,5,2,19,2,28,6,4,2,8,62,56,21,3,8,13,4,5,1,3,4,1,2,0,4,16,11,0,3,11,1,0,4,9,10,0,0,25,9,44,8,38,26,9,47,0,1,2,1,30,15,2,9,26,195,60,0,0.0,0.18966300068558625,0.07810517854809645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400606152834531,0.13319543496651234,0.0,0.0,0.05442833108048277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482437711531363,0.0910543555090441,0.0,0.0,0.06682807551020495,0.0,0.0,0.13621225133800252,0.0,0.0,0.14157355408018213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154172321144258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897690046049372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689362909983232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089263111282029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193265844136325,0.0,0.0,0.09006458234733562,0.1214082874711743,0.05717889684010523,0.07684867365598487,0.0,0.07315294122641441,0.0,0.0,0.0877571270225988,0.0,0.07399349660639543,0.12544907028995855,0.0,0.0,0.06713176430785775,0.19204020606459699,0.0,0.0881704698459026,0.2377495031783051,0.0,0.0,0.07169799294916213,0.0,0.16428339265789113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536475343690111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645437186572487,0.0,0.0,0.07114112053251788,0.1770995517976644,0.0,0.0,0.06524134862058853,0.0,0.0,0.08696111610346574,0.0,0.056532943061624076,0.0391023417769014,0.08021872906005688,0.1413493822908563,0.07083078140521118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490727418243957,0.0,0.2812173047987441,0.0,0.08506733113181389,0.0,0.059346886390955075,0.308649761170487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679826189311073,0.0,0.08398602593329589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390691040987986,0.0,0.0,0.07640497157682251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566142811981237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629409919976805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822006843643232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729826719604165,0.0,0.0,0.06377962634527169,0.14572649953887806,0.0,0.0,0.08215747411492437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959557083597793,0.05665104445993769,0.17061892242891838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748718028137419,0.08754817348772416,0.0,0.07543451639812641,0.0,0.0,0.0643312129450941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708187136116686,0.046670584046402064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630208851149083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627541070833226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0472082662062853,0.06353014299996994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419568224612742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056930184236815,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway50226856,2019/01/31,Struggling with the amount of control my family has over me. Just deleted my entire post. I'm struggling with the control my family and the mental health service has over me. Need so.eone to talk to..,2.6375675675675687,5.627297621621626,2.923027027027029,87.28616216216219,86.2972972972973,5.122162162162162,26.318918918918918,6.742157984588678,1.4757935135135134,160,7,27,2,5,49,25,37,0.141,0.8590000000000001,0.0,-0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,2,0,7,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,7,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,19,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5406132100776894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.454394456685486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561761016081409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428754605149823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787014955837306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308153199778917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5038996517417388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19370997646400304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,poppy_c_ry,2019/01/31,REDDIT FRIEND SAYING THEY WILL COMMIT SUICIDE TOMORROW AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I met this guy on reddit nearly a year ago now and I know he suffers from depression and has attempted this before. He has been saying to me on sc that he is going to commit suicide tomorrow. I have contacted his parents on fb (went through his followers on Spotify and found their names) but they haven't answered as I think on fb the messages don't properly go through unless you add someone back as a friend. I don't know any of his friends names or social media and I don't know where he is in the US and as I'm from the UK don't know who to call?? I'm very worried and I don't know what to do please help,1.8317544783983168,3.594016938356166,3.4995890410958914,89.9754952581665,78.24657534246576,6.6840885142255,24.244467860906216,7.61054688173877,1.108058587987355,547,19,118,8,13,182,80,146,0.09,0.769,0.141,0.8333,2,0,0,0,0,4,7.0,1,1,3,1,3,5,0,0,5,0,16,0,0,0,2,24,31,13,2,0,3,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,1,6,8,0,0,9,0,0,4,7,2,0,0,4,2,17,3,21,26,0,18,0,2,0,0,28,8,0,1,6,77,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638353454164173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462695218054344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183053104831526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091961873745314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710357185270307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251543596147344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031739027637095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869451166743146,0.3566049156548819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487914594865173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523410413056269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312603568040174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.50732944566981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708382210871569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168887034157352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447039887166821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15683621120947244,0.1303611864407647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365856854015737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985843319196132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506911000905,0.0,0.0,0.1269468232025651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426255030103619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624763337177713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907783728101192
mentalhealth,lBammer,2019/01/31,How was your experience taking antidepressants? I'm probably going to try medicine as ive been dealing on and off with depression for nearly my entire life. Tried fighting it forever and did what I could. I'm just worried it either won't do anything or I'll start to change in my personality.. not sure exactly what it's like at all,3.478820512820516,5.80159967692308,5.3365384615384635,76.09762820512822,75.30769230769229,8.64102564102564,29.294871794871803,9.2995712137729,2.9495641025641026,269,12,49,7,6,92,54,65,0.157,0.805,0.038,-0.7822,0,0,0,0,2,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,3,12,12,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,5,2,10,7,2,7,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,2,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22814358076894475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932814664577517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213523031232246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858206166666022,0.2387850274813421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27119235285407106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575609715512803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19582168067178732,0.13544467827561754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420738770964417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989098854969654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962307662961153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612939108024612,0.0,0.2084487738832192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764533500759704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815490524396085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anjagladidontxist,2019/01/31,"I’ve made it to 20 In six months I’ll be 21. I made it. I made it your guys. I fucking made it. 

I have been struggling with bipolar disorder II for all of my life, but had only been diagnosed with it two years ago. Until about eight months ago, I was in and out of hospital. I had to drop my last academic term because my grades were so beyond fucked that I couldn’t get them back up. I took the Fall off too because I definitely was not going to make it count if I came back. I told all my friends that it was financial issues. 

When I was sixteen I set a reminder to kill myself on my twentieth birthday. When that reminder popped up last year over the summer, I deleted it without hesitation. 

I’m happy. I’m finally finally happy. Is life perfect? No. But I’m WORKING on it. I’m friends with people who make me feel like I’m a worthwhile person. I don’t have a boyfriend but I do have someone who I really enjoy the company of right now. I have parents who love me and a cat back home who misses me and I love being alive. I love being fucking alive. 

My life was hell that I could not deal with. I still have those demons and they still keep me up at night. But I have goals that shout louder in my head. 

Trust. ",0.2711286089238847,2.511011913385829,2.252944881889764,93.99015223097112,87.34645669291339,5.276430446194227,20.671391076115484,6.742157984588678,0.347083359580052,942,31,209,12,30,313,134,254,0.134,0.665,0.202,0.9714,1,0,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,1,2,3,12,18,5,1,7,0,24,12,1,6,3,31,49,13,1,3,8,1,1,1,2,0,5,1,1,2,19,10,0,1,1,0,0,4,6,7,0,3,17,2,38,11,28,27,3,42,2,1,0,6,17,14,4,1,23,143,57,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855923478483868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24148692592502835,0.0,0.12762896033084692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973076810787928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358176764845733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792475178389152,0.0,0.106252198623528,0.0,0.0,0.1199770939697933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293144664395285,0.07478637060844888,0.0,0.2293527171310753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617574139309754,0.29033640201009736,0.054693142526724116,0.0,0.05949440926906972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365375712178336,0.0,0.2228764274725549,0.0,0.0,0.10743612912368113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500672794915916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926304447697924,0.0,0.09304807367170992,0.11581749078132393,0.0,0.0,0.17066309238453534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182451210360787,0.05114338305552031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834445707615229,0.3962186580988174,0.1397549528125551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711576377495888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823897399114064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961700579846348,0.0,0.0,0.1162393490547292,0.0,0.0,0.07257480178686282,0.0914061532848498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670633407423687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939968366591156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869853219875189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720177902898342,0.0,0.0,0.10943859260220194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003018201133992,0.11630793148656615,0.0,0.0,0.10226119368285996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091177539971988,0.0,0.07621130077909846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134826308047538
mentalhealth,ravenpupa,2019/01/31,"Advice on how to help a friend with bipolar disorder? Hello, I am not sure exactly what I am going to say in this post, but I am looking for some help on how to help a friend. I am sorry if this post becomes very long. He was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and has said to me and our friends that his psychiatrist believes he is in a state of mania. This all happened sort of fast last year and he was forced to take a semester off of school. Now that he is back in school, he has been acting very strange and I am not sure how to confront him about it. He talks to himself nearly constantly, sometimes switching voices and asking and answering questions to himself. It is hard to tell whether he is talking to me or himself, and when I ask him if he would stop talking to himself, he either says there is nothing wrong with it and keeps doing it (could be for up to 10 minutes straight before he addresses me again) or ignores me entirely. I also have reason to believe that he stopped taking his meds. Before he was diagnosed with bipolar, he was on meds for anxiety and suddenly stopped taking them altogether because he thought he felt better. This was when he was removed from school by his parents and his behavior started and eventually he was diagnosed with bipolar. Now, I asked him how he thought his new meds were working and if he was taking them and he would not give me a straight answer. These are just two of my biggest concerns among some other small ones, but this is as much as I can post right now. 
If there is any advice on how to deal with him talking and rambling to himself or to make sure he is taking his meds please let me know. ",7.7981269230769215,6.551465033846156,7.54479807692308,77.14888942307695,63.276923076923076,10.340384615384616,38.466346153846146,9.188382445141503,3.4119884615384626,1316,59,252,18,16,419,156,325,0.101,0.8029999999999999,0.097,0.561,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,2,2,17,10,1,0,5,0,34,7,0,7,5,65,54,34,0,7,15,1,2,0,3,2,7,4,1,0,15,20,0,5,8,0,0,3,3,3,0,2,14,7,34,7,45,35,5,42,0,0,1,0,61,16,0,11,19,183,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346966049216554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279732174902926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534004645420983,0.0,0.060072278301482485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22023400778847405,0.0,0.0,0.06038175064772978,0.0,0.0478688030124583,0.08672594656749412,0.13363991423912436,0.17694412703764004,0.0,0.0694499850048548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485885496073127,0.0,0.06269672902804432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809569970627258,0.0,0.2391071220371432,0.0,0.0,0.17999550767661174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539740409467105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820072912102634,0.0,0.0,0.0753294240232578,0.04462821212773525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944040179999103,0.0,0.07034399281065347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790323899187064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979763680176697,0.0,0.0,0.043155910132830745,0.06400928072809668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029829329508037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949315835764085,0.06594217604577908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052416804844744216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34889933391932915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772574452134727,0.0,0.0,0.07584103046230113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534794434636671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053211341314656935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719397992075284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619811521965502,0.0,0.0,0.22561899196132534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796724269455368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073794523819726,0.07753508479989571,0.0,0.0,0.06706089018802881,0.074696336641682,0.12489426864147166,0.0,0.2384179226398417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766435537390026,0.08790357904748121,0.05558120248960799,0.0,0.0,0.1969540949580006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220298586160187,0.0,0.2952094039226885,0.25246533102364616,0.0686353031260491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468195939226462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670862355274638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958457051224767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057167961485558624,0.0,0.0,0.1115654264876038,0.08585600132894948,0.0,0.05056825632751583
mentalhealth,throw_7575743,2019/01/31,"I can't stop picturing people in pain I have a couple issues I wanna talk about here, to see if anyone can help me shed some light on them. Today was pretty shitty, so my mood's not been the best. 

I used to do this thing as a kid where I would close my eyes and I would try and see patterns. I tried that again a few minutes ago and all I could see was eyes, over and over, of people in pain and suffering. I have a history of bad mental health, so this isn't the first weird thing that's happened to me, it's just one of the first ones I really don't know how to deal with. 

I thought I'd mention, the whole imagining people suffering is a recurring thing my brain seems to do (I don't enjoy it if that helps)

I hope I didn't come across as too edgy, I just hope someone can help",1.9312426035502988,2.9724221242603552,3.4444970414201173,93.52165680473374,76.27810650887574,6.8568047337278095,20.10059171597633,7.321109707123232,0.21540473372781044,605,12,145,7,13,200,98,169,0.153,0.742,0.105,-0.8776,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,10,11,0,0,9,0,18,6,3,2,1,28,29,12,0,8,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,10,8,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,6,0,4,5,6,21,4,19,21,5,16,0,2,5,0,8,8,0,6,7,103,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921609400247535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094037607155468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229242433127497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411375649864278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501338371050266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585008331956992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737826192070728,0.14880915862181798,0.0,0.0,0.13865191645048822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287919930432044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892788934847524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295517038935165,0.0,0.0,0.27043476776935144,0.0,0.0,0.26715519558875866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037123332267204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391145747965269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355329502766084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226601079241694,0.0,0.2862108603853308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797125363951431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682332995746238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615688768152795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215101801409685,0.12243343682725225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395181617214405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243855260400294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809690098995883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680448951362608,0.0,0.0,0.10676898380472967,0.0,0.0,0.1274795366243207,0.0,0.0,0.18261796175159845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615503276393825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501518004995248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910737892135138,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zanahoriaestupenda,2019/01/31,"Can I disagree with my personality disorder diagnosis? Hi all,

So, recently I've another  attempt at seeking help from a mental health professional and was diagnosed with depression (which I've already been diagnosed with three years ago, so it wasn't surprising as I didn't get much better) and histrionic personality disorder. 

 I didn't really know what HPD was, so I looked it up online after the session, and I was kinda surprised. I've been extremely shy and introverted my whole life, people actually make fun of how quiet I am. I also have no sexual experience at the age of 24, and I begin to suspect I might be asexual. I also tend to overthink and overanalyze things too much, and I have strong suicidal and self-harm tendencies.

I'm reading all these stories when learning their diagnosis helps people understand their own behavior and experiences, but in my case it's something completely opposite.  

Should I maybe consult with another doctor for a second opinion? 

​

​

​",9.31431818181818,9.91286088636364,9.912636363636368,55.34145454545455,59.45454545454545,13.85818181818182,43.16818181818182,13.023866798666859,6.526981363636364,820,45,116,30,10,278,117,176,0.105,0.8390000000000001,0.056,-0.7263,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,3,8,6,0,0,4,0,15,5,0,2,2,26,23,18,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,7,13,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,8,2,17,5,16,12,6,11,0,1,1,0,8,4,0,3,7,86,24,6,0.0,0.0,0.10413723489231932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459530838946502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776128638304062,0.17067790863073282,0.0,0.3468729390535502,0.3890066918417317,0.0,0.22379736118054536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437964761011172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188734573201893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191240403959901,0.2166244376424852,0.0,0.0,0.24460642554111794,0.10922605392670008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087730656388873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575353449734812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343173538774427,0.0,0.0,0.1430559661172592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058647091001466665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537508370379291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961268080057219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123226260954753,0.0,0.10720831396543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754236947306453,0.11320643419512115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568937826430128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479637675997483,0.1863566759926678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067426370056696,0.0,0.06836356641529802,0.0,0.10536696271889404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132572377913252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215346504599498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672753172531924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089587953650486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109278631847422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914210067301027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890066918417317,0.06872016188506194
mentalhealth,drag0naut26,2019/01/31,What are your go to remedies to combat physical effects of anxiety? I have serious nausea and often throw up when I am in states of anxiety. My lingering anxiety over stressful situations lasts days. I have other physical symptoms that I can deal with but I've thrown up everything I've eaten in the last 3 days to include water and this is pretty standard for my episodes. I feel like garbage. I do smoke weed but often it heightens my anxiety severely and it outweighs the nausea. Any advice would be awesome. ,3.7465263157894735,6.584730863157897,5.131842105263161,75.19039473684211,77.21052631578947,8.431578947368422,32.65789473684211,9.120678840339163,3.720136842105264,412,22,65,11,10,137,67,95,0.146,0.726,0.128,0.6249,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,1,2,0,9,3,0,1,0,12,12,6,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,10,1,12,9,0,13,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,6,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19633315549625552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663002413498238,0.0,0.6148019051560424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259148879853851,0.2071359595356301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057068191938636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158935562954548,0.1435346978345372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418540554654855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32754732175964946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815759172943177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044041832463204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22697831421220746,0.0,0.0,0.2258384226056289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23014902775810456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20882904224285748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427252276205756,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,journeytohope,2019/01/31,"Mental Health Awareness Awards This event will take place in mental health awareness week with an aim to inspire and recognise. 

There will be awards to recognise people from the Midlands area who have done amazing things to help and offer hope to others, as well as recognising service users who have gone on to overcome adversity in relation to mental health.  (Nominations can be made here : https://mentalhealthjourney.co.uk/in-bloom-not-broken-mental-health-awareness-awards/ )

There will be performances from local talent and there will be speakers offering insight and hope from their own experiences of living with mental illness to offer hope to others. 

Tickets are limited and available to buy for just five pound of which proceeds will go to charity. You can get your tickets here https://fixr.co/event/319920930

We will be raising money for This Way Up who are a local charity providing support to young people struggling with their feelings following family breakdowns or bereavement and proceeds from ticket sales will go to this charity.

To keep up to date with this event please see here and keep checking back as it will be regularly updated! 

https://mentalhealthjourney.co.uk/in-bloom-not-broken-mental-health-awareness-awards/",13.887034277198213,16.12544528415301,9.339711872826628,57.732697466467975,49.7103825136612,11.026130153999008,39.58718330849479,10.832165505486646,4.782337704918033,1049,42,124,20,11,286,105,183,0.047,0.752,0.201,0.9852,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,1,2,2,4,9,12,0,1,3,0,21,4,0,1,0,24,36,11,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,8,4,1,0,0,12,12,0,3,3,3,4,4,0,2,1,1,3,3,5,10,34,19,1,23,0,0,1,0,12,9,0,4,9,94,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905847909399788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521556202844844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057291376094027,0.09692494263332077,0.0,0.0519864127453655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053716655447961684,0.0,0.1168644015006118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5464383111870369,0.0,0.0,0.06891480612822494,0.0,0.0,0.3063558320516076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827736013185772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078763256774697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972861503101068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6216807374589072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255811393116255,0.0,0.10741991488860184,0.11286012440732925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193033726921768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074846845498025,0.0,0.0,0.11667337712389468,0.0,0.0,0.07730417299270845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830579564285325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160985476101087,0.08247208568699463,0.0,0.09244313838952437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotThatKindofGlurf,2019/01/31,"The person I love had himself committed following a psychotic break and I am lost I have never dealt with mental illness before, certainly not on this level. My SO and I have been together more than a year and pretty early on he told me about his severely dysfunctional and abusive childhood. He was in therapy and on a grocery list of medications for anxiety, depression, and ocd among other things but really kept a lot of his symptoms under wraps and seemed to be doing well. He was always very open about communicating with me when I asked about meds and side effects any time they seemed to be concerning. 

Things seemed good earlier this week when he suddenly began behaving oddly, almost like a sleepwalker. He was incoherent and slurring his words, not remembering things and unable to distinguish dreams/hallucinations from reality. When he finally came out of it and started making sense what we pieced together was terrifying and we still have no clue what caused it. After an emergency visit to his therapist, he decided to check himself into an inpatient treatment center. I was shocked, and have not stopped crying since then (I rarely cry). I have so many questions:

\- What is going to happen to him and will he be okay?

\-What DID happen to him to cause this?

\-Why didn't I notice the warning signs/get help for him sooner?

\-How can I continue to support him without getting completely overwhelmed myself?

I am the stable, strong person a lot of people depend on and I feel like I failed him in a way. I also miss him, worry for our future, and don't know what to do next. I made an appointment with a therapist for myself because I don't feel right talking to friends or family about this (with respect to his privacy). I am trying to stay calm and think of this as a good thing, a way he can get evaluated and be in a safe place and get better. But do people get better? He has been struggling with this so hard for so long, and he seemed really relieved by this decision but there are so many unknowns. I just want to help him get better.",4.866907762096774,6.907191075520835,5.711801075268822,76.17459677419356,70.53645833333334,9.01733870967742,28.53293010752688,9.536714749202195,2.854065288978494,1639,62,282,39,31,536,211,384,0.1,0.706,0.194,0.9919,1,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,3,0,1,7,18,25,0,2,17,1,33,4,0,7,3,71,63,36,0,1,9,0,3,2,1,1,3,0,0,2,19,31,0,3,14,0,1,4,9,7,1,0,16,3,41,18,51,42,4,46,0,5,0,1,40,17,0,10,23,209,60,1,0.0,0.10556854494499872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892204538854671,0.0,0.0,0.07125297774244263,0.0741380670552658,0.0,0.0,0.06059083421838836,0.0,0.06816100734136032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329616836099994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05431433476152645,0.0,0.07581726074909767,0.0,0.0,0.2364042652427476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190629154085967,0.0,0.18305981929817028,0.0,0.0,0.09341931382992123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19574361792699094,0.0,0.0,0.07674141934158549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399524372839283,0.0,0.09010294544369743,0.06365282547624307,0.0,0.09760433857982401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883818772503432,0.0,0.2793054157604131,0.0,0.050637398488601666,0.1494651598246011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758109632939934,0.0,0.07981580765631162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944326774860985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896685110933058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705920101248785,0.0,0.0,0.07885040838999739,0.0,0.0,0.09726282024915373,0.15149871455174946,0.08041593518571584,0.08430826663069141,0.05947472479573146,0.1806661709896306,0.0,0.0,0.09896965261297673,0.0897585485943895,0.08979151572582644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871916202233941,0.0,0.09475851495786483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144057030235863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123540991614593,0.15559679859201395,0.09309019626130256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064640117743966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981202718849984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141590664020152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009325625987604,0.07609063544226502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244519903331157,0.0,0.1006572713038107,0.0,0.07370417172075493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306520841315105,0.09496839824212153,0.07115511538573634,0.07449131774765155,0.0,0.09314632570880027,0.0,0.0,0.1011092550780338,0.0,0.09260867776778883,0.0,0.07161494356423068,0.0,0.0,0.10189324324131904,0.20690317958680887,0.2367754593278805,0.057091473921216426,0.0,0.0,0.05195473689335517,0.0,0.0,0.08513855754895162,0.0,0.060492830529297034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351656297838767,0.05255329668684758,0.14144634920698515,0.0714703847107211,0.0,0.0801113080811489,0.0,0.08039859793427656,0.0,0.0,0.08588890697271707,0.0,0.0,0.09048504475508752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737726932015722
mentalhealth,Roman_69,2019/01/31,"Covering up self harm scars Hello you beautiful people,
My dear girlfriend has depression and has self harm scars on her arm. 
Because Valentines day is coming and it (hopefully) will get warmer in a few months I thought of gifting her (excuse me, english is not my native language and thus I have to roughly translate and describe the item I am thinking of) basically long socks but for the fore arms without fingers to her. I thought she would like it so she can cover her arms and doesn't need to use makeup she doesn't like and in addition to that can wear her dresses and still have warm arms because she is always cold. 
What do you think of this? Any other quality of life present ideas for depressed loved ones?
Thank you in advance ",6.197063492063492,7.076528642857145,5.648095238095237,82.27468253968256,66.14285714285714,8.222222222222221,34.12698412698413,8.167268648758528,2.579531746031746,590,26,108,7,9,180,95,140,0.07200000000000001,0.7759999999999999,0.152,0.9074,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,1,2,11,0,0,3,0,15,8,6,2,0,22,26,9,0,3,3,0,3,2,1,2,1,0,0,2,6,9,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,2,4,19,7,16,22,2,12,0,2,0,1,18,5,0,1,7,73,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611513519782941,0.0,0.0,0.13170420054932416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23612238155863705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16683203819409784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490298622316315,0.0,0.3336203375901563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118608687917667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236087069212526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186331089426983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679688358663558,0.1892375739288444,0.0,0.0,0.17139440534127304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747973367867369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15458784603527312,0.0,0.0,0.14360598739752825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312377566018968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426839014153052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040861071772345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546674131122829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830796824655126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481955242231817,0.0,0.30750926842098714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727118623691614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18669374625418156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375796580656196,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonlectric,2019/01/31,"Suicidal ideation I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for over eight years and recently it’s getting worse.
I don’t like to talk about it with my friends because they have their own problems and stuff going on, my boyfriend is out of town and my mom always gets mad at me for “always being in a mood”.

I don’t know what to do. I started to have suicidal thoughts but I’m too scared to act on them. I’m sad and quiet all the time. 

I can’t afford therapy, so, I’m kind of stuck here. ",2.6585679611650486,3.936324601941749,3.86620145631068,90.27561286407769,74.8252427184466,7.480097087378643,27.43810679611651,8.07648339933343,1.5634281553398055,386,15,86,6,8,126,73,103,0.242,0.723,0.035,-0.9654,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,0,4,9,1,1,2,0,9,0,0,0,1,13,19,7,2,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,3,1,11,3,17,15,2,13,0,2,0,0,7,7,0,0,5,55,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.336850540046167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484671400936664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339014033795875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868069808032685,0.17433950988938254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563851178753537,0.0,0.21150668357408486,0.0,0.11503695540580533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107837923229048,0.11124184171299284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988896124550411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370656847601442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19368355939432874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986012585451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026524557322966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327018734018332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23171643794086336,0.4428177215954866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269329221251566,0.0,0.0,0.23147888376498976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069468525272335,0.11802965652879242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20627790210178545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034844934965534
mentalhealth,elestaky,2019/01/31,"What is wrong with me? Hello everyone, I'm 19, and I'm very confused about myself and why I do the stuff I do. I feel like I fake everything all the time and I need someone to help me understand where my behaviour is coming from.

 When I was 16, I started cutting and trying to lose weight in unhealthy ways. Looking back at it, I was never seriously  mentally ill. I think I did that kind of stuff just for the ""aesthetic"" of the sad pretty girl. Cutting wasn't an obsession, I did it when I wanted to and I was able to control myself.. same with the ""eating disorder"". I tried to purge one or two times but I couldn't, and I never tried again.. but in my mind I was ""bulimic"" which was just not true. 

However, I had really low self esteem and my mother noticed it, so she took me to a psychologist. This to me felt like I had accomplished something, I was so happy and relieved than my parents noticed me! I felt validated, even if I knew I wasn't going to get a diagnosis (because I wasn't really sick!).

 The psychologist was an horrible match for me and didn't help me at all. Every session I just lied and lied, trying to say what she wanted me to hear. But after my mother took me there and actually noticed me, I stopped cutting and restricting.. I think it was because I was doing it just for the attention, and after I got that I didn't need to do these kind of behaviours anymore.

After one year and an half, I don't regret any of the stuff I did. Actually, I'm happy I used to cut. Sometimes I use this as an excuse to make people pity me (it's horrible I know). For example, with my ex girlfriend: she was depressed and self centred. I wanted to break up. I used the excuse of my ""fragile emotional state"" and said she effected me negativity because of my past. I even showed her the cuts. Honestly, it was an excuse, I was just annoyed with her..  

Last month, I don't know why, I started restricting again, and now that I don't live with my parents anymore, I can restrict harder. I'm actually in a 48 hour fast right now. But even as I type this, I just can't help feeling like a fake attention-whore. I know that in two weeks I will start again to eat normally, so why am I doing all this? Why am I faking an ED, which is a really serious illness that can kill people? I am so disappointed in myself. 

This was probably a confused rambling. I'm sorry. I'm just very very confused... 
",3.308954451345752,4.502927716356108,5.278110766045547,81.11770445134577,73.07867494824016,8.513664596273294,28.116459627329192,8.998388855275968,2.258370186335404,1849,71,375,38,36,640,200,483,0.197,0.687,0.117,-0.9914,4,0,1,0,0,0,80.0,0,0,0,4,25,34,7,4,22,0,42,6,0,6,6,78,80,31,1,9,14,5,6,3,1,1,3,3,0,3,25,23,3,5,13,1,0,4,14,24,0,5,30,10,80,10,46,48,4,44,0,7,1,0,25,11,0,5,29,275,105,3,0.0739297517806281,0.0,0.21643431972896465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027476637003881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663689649895356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05684741570806701,0.0,0.13520067148297066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368393497141728,0.0,0.0,0.08291850299636498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367558687832851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847299005139198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151297185308696,0.0,0.0831610200806577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648971140902978,0.0,0.062289004439227774,0.07064304601630055,0.06644329388251491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476220768156194,0.1056308588878872,0.14196831088533632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038625243967400254,0.0,0.042015981648729314,0.0,0.05912837611032189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157399190977254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332420330746565,0.0,0.1486606627388108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280591348948079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179231674126128,0.15397291972561722,0.1218895744457808,0.06026261497373931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835502715202984,0.0,0.06528132527813554,0.0,0.062082371811952135,0.08270848174439216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049348683387500085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450380133168041,0.0,0.07464797429522667,0.0,0.05901002254032335,0.0,0.0,0.10963594836970472,0.11403836439569827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724354599724437,0.0,0.2525085372160219,0.0,0.0,0.1001934262471363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418048071225466,0.0,0.07057431340039053,0.10250716252164832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521313578642796,0.0797087764819779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420838762104698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313560407535547,0.0703241236861864,0.058791905938915326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424970917389752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264043877261373,0.056914734801607525,0.07311841488989937,0.0827583044004865,0.15698357647401814,0.0,0.0,0.061808582843755414,0.0,0.0,0.2538956347520196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474239957697236,0.0,0.0,0.0862180655811985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642773489132466,0.2007737943307461,0.0,0.1444372501531817,0.07696347887636486,0.0,0.19155470607828,0.0,0.1829993633069174,0.13081704916210374,0.05868199581676969,0.059301987504536316,0.09002652087771536,0.0,0.0,0.2668404077788881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083057788525129,0.0,0.04760833626460057
mentalhealth,Xoxoxoxo2019,2019/01/31,"[OCD] [obstructive thoughts] please can someone help I am really hoping someone can give me some advice! I have never suffered with either ocd or obstructive thoughts in my life until the last 2 weeks (I'm 22). I have recently been trying to treat my pcos and hormonal acne myself by taking a combination of saw palmetto, myo-inositil, vit D, zinc & vit C. While doing nothing for my skin I started to feel very anxious about a month into this combo of vitamins. (I have suffrred from anixity and depression in my teenage years but have been totally okay since about 18) Then came the obstructive thoughts! They came slow like little worrys, then I started imagining horrible things that little brought me to tears even more so because I have a 18month year old daughter and alot of the thoughts were things happening to her. The more I had the thoughts the more anxious and upset I was getting so I totally stopped everything. I was okay for a few weeks and believe it was the saw palmetto that was causing the obstructive thoughts. However the last couple of days after alot of stress in the family (my partners father who we dont speak to and whom i have never met has been put on the sex offenders list for having indecent category A videos on his computer and awaits court, we found out from a news article) all of a sudden they have come back worse and now my brain wont stop trying to imagine what the sick c*nt was watching and my anxiety is all over the place. Is it possible this combo of vitamins has gave me OCD for life? I have never felt like this before and just want my brain to go back to normal :( Im temped to start taking the myo inositil again as I have read it actually helps ocd but then again as I was taking it before when this first started could it also of caused it??? Im at such a loss and really upset and confused please can someone help me. ",6.277558875664724,6.7898863342618405,6.5841187642441135,76.92218473031149,65.88022284122562,10.204152950113953,33.031273740187395,10.125756701596842,3.3131214484679674,1490,60,273,33,22,481,192,359,0.139,0.768,0.093,-0.9742,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,2,0,2,2,14,14,1,4,24,2,33,9,3,2,7,56,64,26,0,4,5,2,3,2,1,1,5,1,0,1,17,20,0,2,11,2,0,6,5,8,0,1,26,7,34,6,40,36,12,52,0,3,3,1,18,12,0,6,36,193,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.08203264676854144,0.0,0.0,0.0821446747170371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722456479844058,0.0,0.0910814315115652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430740440503564,0.1899328693786396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292773894174663,0.0,0.051243577915558704,0.0,0.14306159600771398,0.09470938889148728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768258276200767,0.0,0.19228967872248404,0.0,0.1727102090930636,0.0,0.07241219990734085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711688023958105,0.09301329989070466,0.0,0.05421320811829238,0.0,0.07240270765806542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852035122641127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555223347493643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554974549362073,0.0,0.079246424271427,0.0,0.04250440814140317,0.0,0.0807129593432824,0.0,0.0,0.0715033216322462,0.0,0.09216993720888586,0.0,0.0,0.04391906512831729,0.08064018664233846,0.04777452372904528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433598536398421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903549746779994,0.0,0.0,0.08349279894730142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816033477086259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704393500106635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875133083792935,0.08213715531889043,0.1685049515930043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670976997675225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19450200847593072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236317385630998,0.08066001265762457,0.0,0.08820920874839397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782717759934221,0.18455025216666093,0.0,0.09476757580637338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450579680245436,0.0,0.0,0.08408501575524896,0.0,0.10770488195471546,0.0,0.08300134762297798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953717619587907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213677058902934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379988218778236,0.0,0.0,0.1405596390637684,0.09629304318899112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896130900208326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169447027044334,0.0,0.0,0.4004163023954789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414552302522216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936017424511695,0.04958210323878525,0.0,0.13485936055956455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536931293476144,0.0856666320312064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826668811829668
mentalhealth,Neogalik,2019/01/31,"Dependent Personality Disorder I’ve been diagnosed with what’s called Dependent Personality Disorder (or DPD for short). Here is the story.

All my life I’ve always felt like I couldn’t be alone. Since I was 17 I haven’t been without a girlfriend for more than three months. I just can’t stand being by myself, I like to have a romantic partner around literally 24/7, it makes me less anxious.

I also have never been assertive. I’ve always been really friendly and try to make friends with anyone I come across. I’ve also wanted to make a connection with every girl I saw. I am obsessed with the feeling of being loved and wanted. I needed constant approval from everyone.

I always placed everyone else’s need above my own, so if I needed to go to work but you needed to borrow my car to go to the park, I would call out of work to make you happy. I also love it when people make decisions for me. Tell me what to wear. What to eat. What to drink.

When I get a criticism, I take it REALLY hard. If someone says I’m stupid or anything like that, it makes me extremely sad. Their validation means a whole lot to me.

When I’m alone, it is he most miserable feeling of my life. I constantly crave a connection and a friend that I can just have on the phone, I don’t even need to talk to them. Just having someone there is comforting.

Over the years it’s gotten a lot worse. I didn’t really think about it or think it’s a problem until just recently.

I recently went through a breakup after we dated for 7 months. This is the first girl I’ve ever actually feel like I’ve felt in love with them. Others I’ve dated for 2-3 years each and I never felt like I’ve actually loved them, I just kept them around hoping I would just magically wake up one day and be madly in love with them.

My ex broke up with me on my birthday in October, and I begged and begged her to come back, and we got back together a few days later. She broke up with me again on Christmas, this time blocking me on everything and dating a new guy the same day, even though we spent Christmas together with her family.

I call her every day to hear her voicemail. I text her all the time even though she doesn’t get them because I’m blocked. I’ve realized it isn’t even her that I’m missing, it’s just contact with a girl. I’ve been really anxious since we broke up and it’s driving me insane. I’ve stopped eating and sleeping and I attempted suicide about 3 weeks ago. I wouldn’t wish this hell on anyone. I wish there were others like me.

TL;DR I suffer from DPD and it’s been extremely rough.",2.6230828516377653,4.462148148362235,4.141140655105975,85.91479383429674,76.1868978805395,7.464971098265897,23.86473988439307,8.309216665352881,1.4237972254335258,2015,64,414,37,45,670,227,519,0.16,0.703,0.13699999999999998,-0.9279,0,2,1,0,0,1,55.0,4,2,7,5,31,29,3,2,21,0,32,14,3,8,5,94,81,29,1,17,14,1,8,6,5,3,3,2,0,7,24,33,3,4,11,1,2,7,11,12,0,3,18,11,69,17,62,55,12,61,1,7,1,5,48,19,1,11,40,271,93,2,0.0,0.0,0.12745562404249153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05788853561715052,0.0,0.0,0.13527161994750253,0.0,0.15667205426539896,0.16301582941277654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475510869540725,0.0,0.091324907374635,0.0,0.05374007318724328,0.116269774258081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043032251097707,0.0,0.039809042245253036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20004971447634606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250815975157737,0.0,0.14114201857674846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846410652965166,0.0,0.0,0.0662827347757174,0.0,0.0,0.14968932411343416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397358878127278,0.0,0.1336456981051397,0.05455356456538539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725321345230603,0.05907169636675616,0.11004378522402393,0.12480257556489195,0.058691510864632625,0.0,0.0615633095878857,0.0,0.09905981479857877,0.04665357735741628,0.18810780231997895,0.0,0.0,0.055548009473978366,0.0,0.0,0.15136237985411355,0.0,0.06823785497360269,0.0,0.0742281515358029,0.0,0.05223000736572887,0.0,0.0,0.0646617630582228,0.0,0.06951789855316716,0.058500041890963264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736029642412706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486214459779885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225305761820764,0.1914270013336735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103917141159933,0.29469949094058673,0.0,0.2615477305186678,0.0,0.0,0.0711357901644525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425092365744444,0.0,0.0,0.2421124495375209,0.10073377630479573,0.06307153293161526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044252047283706915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04527394633294378,0.11404281310950057,0.06822934630159762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062487626458820514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734304551569726,0.0,0.1289607122820685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193279237883114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804118281353896,0.0,0.06535170346465037,0.0,0.11066465185452534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05459752067554343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143256883272399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910088781161169,0.052489316609642456,0.05707904751555055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368902637406042,0.12832276052760716,0.0,0.07615920640138779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04433749684404749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703662088911259,0.0,0.052383363926404136,0.0,0.0,0.06053796404879388,0.0,0.07291018820844394,0.15019399924884722,0.06295124742091954,0.0,0.09508496768809127,0.0,0.06655090671378347,0.0927809449298074,0.0,0.0,0.08410796701504906
mentalhealth,___Loops,2019/01/31,"If you struggle with stress and anxiety consider tapering video game usage. On mobile but feeling compelled to write this so bear with me.

This is could be completely anecdotal and I'm just speaking from experience.

I've been treated for GAD and panic disorder for four years. Last summer I started experiencing severe stress symptoms despite my medication being generally effective for the past few years. 

I was having sleep jerks, random palpitations, unexplained moods, sweating more than usual, vertigo, and constipation. 

I thought something was seriously wrong with my body so I saw a gastroenterologist, a dietician, an ENT, my psychiatrist and my neurologist. 

My tests were fine. They all advised that I reduce stress. My psychiatrist and I spent the majority of our time together discussing how psychiatric medications, although very effective for most lifestyles, have a hard time competing with lots of stress hormones running around in the body.

Im in my late twenties, trying to advance my career and generally function at a high level. I figured it was time to get critical about the stressors in my life.

The two major things that stuck out within the first few days were: realising that putting off responsibilities made me more anxious and stressed (this was fairly easy to fix with a little discapline) and video games not only caused me to be more tense and moody depending on the game but triggered stress responses while I was playing them!

Playing games my whole life I figured it was a form of stress relief so analysing how I felt was difficult. 

I cut out intense games right away, anything that had competitive online multiplayer. I felt pretty good most evenings after that. It made sense, not being tense or even upset every ten minutes should improve my well being. 

Then I started gauging how I felt when playing challenging single player games. Things like Dark Souls, DOOM, some of Breath of the Wild. This was interesting for me. If I had a long day at work and came home to play one of these games I typically wasn't too thrilled afterward. I would get frustrated easily at the game mechanics, beat myself up for not doing something correctly, and sometimes have weird outbursts as if I'd actually made a huge IRL mistake like a fender bender except this wasn't real life and my reaction was completely inappropriate.

If I played these games on a chill Saturday morning at home I noticed the first hour or two we're typically enjoyable. I'd find humors in mishaps, generally play the game better, and taking time to actually enjoy the game world and what not. But after a while I'd notice stress responses bubbling up, neck and chest tension and sweaty palms mostly. I didn't like how I felt if I played for extended periods of time either.

So at this point I felt pretty defeated and a little upset at myself for doing this for years and not noticing my body (almost literally) shitting the bed from stress hormones. I decided to go a couple weeks without any video games.

Within the first couple days I noticed I had more drive and energy to accomplish immediate responsibilities and chores, things I'd be frustrated to handle after a match of ranked Overwatch. I would do things like come home from work and start tidying up for when my girlfriend got home so we could just enjoy the evening together. 

However, the wanting of playing a game came around eventually. I figured the healthy thing to do was trying to enjoy playing a game for little while rather than avoiding it because I was scared of stress. Fast forward another few weeks and my usage is typically an 1-2 hour session every few days. And I only play when I really feel like it, I don't mindlessly turn on my PC or Switch just cause I'm bored.

This feels much more balanced. When I play a game it feels like it did when I was a kid. It's exciting and fun, not stressful.

I'm going to add here that I've made other lifestyles improvements with the extra time I have from cutting out a lot of gaming time. I've been exercising more, cooking for myself more, going to bed earlier, handling chores in a timelier manner. Obviously these have made a huge impact on my mental health as well but I still think it started with tapering something that was unhealthy, too much games.

Going to end this with the disclaimer that this might not have as big of an impact with your mental wellbeing but it did for me so I thought I'd share my experience.

Thanks for reading.",6.503030380720425,8.258827045848825,6.622500747767383,72.36454460966544,66.02602230483271,9.530820834935694,33.244648122035635,9.83838024301492,3.5023155749262918,3594,156,586,80,58,1148,364,807,0.153,0.67,0.177,0.9675,1,1,3,0,0,0,76.0,2,2,2,15,31,70,6,18,43,0,50,20,10,16,3,130,91,61,0,13,27,0,10,6,1,4,9,1,8,1,38,44,1,2,19,34,1,12,12,33,2,8,43,13,69,36,93,36,27,100,2,2,1,0,30,40,1,18,56,404,107,10,0.0,0.0,0.09001063141789342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046181336491806016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03136237915748165,0.048359604060806916,0.03528077115246051,0.05210113952564717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03795185937354117,0.08211105531362646,0.0,0.0,0.04333014963338458,0.0,0.0,0.028113604680498283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04078834858237145,0.0,0.15368283720000814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054952880271572,0.0,0.09475346453617456,0.0,0.03972727988656097,0.09670941087906644,0.0,0.0,0.07364425027281415,0.10205919451857597,0.0,0.11897129462823808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285616339486137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04084758582766559,0.0,0.0,0.09138313717988764,0.0,0.07771419006451412,0.0,0.0,0.09022611115340624,0.0,0.0,0.09327624465528564,0.06589458860512258,0.221406498518638,0.0,0.04215176606894833,0.1176859344808441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04819036004820733,0.0,0.10484155311174427,0.038682278216843946,0.03688543347748359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041313404160363686,0.0,0.0,0.049022149165165285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0487270655466248,0.18504374748192864,0.0,0.09083549576173364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049816239749578745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03759299378771603,0.05202403788006983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772525962068776,0.13518795572907424,0.1386695208011776,0.0,0.040813704523957085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841714326819893,0.0,0.21819371347913846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929197186325639,0.092953846820076,0.048924780041488335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780527856266752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100263294812492,0.0,0.0,0.0312513060719315,0.0701508817766952,0.0,0.0541104985458281,0.0,0.0,0.04402563224960199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359719192530958,0.0,0.0,0.0938388401368233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046362152315546704,0.0,0.0,0.046131300519099694,0.05249331398143485,0.029544897103245038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03938522038618504,0.0,0.0,0.04617298442473118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210113952564717,0.04734030609910055,0.0,0.0,0.046152126571731664,0.0,0.0,0.10651356265034516,0.04561269234535294,0.0,0.13057255298845788,0.0,0.036830549315073895,0.0,0.5811184788022078,0.0482134042498314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047935112676580176,0.03467561316579405,0.0,0.0,0.0424600132996839,0.0,0.0,0.1531964740711195,0.02955107773104847,0.0,0.0732263832925129,0.1882457841927964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262330307356373,0.050164032928629435,0.09010277184436001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05079336473488083,0.03805285654547637,0.027202074999131413,0.0,0.073987471298042,0.0,0.08293271585557135,0.0,0.0,0.05149001565636364,0.0,0.04445689683345758,0.0,0.06715010062719383,0.0,0.0,0.06552297318709599,0.05042368993814672,0.0,0.08909702426049093
mentalhealth,Nakarudesu,2019/01/31,"I just noticed that I've always sucked at concentrating and I feel like the most retarded person in the world right now Since I've been a kid I can't concentrate on anything I have to do alone. I constantly fade out when I have to do stuff I don't enjoy and it's terrible. I have to write lots of applications to finally learn a profession and nobody will sit down and hold my hand and guide me. Mainly because I don't want to ask again but also because I really feel like a fucking idiot because I need someone to help me.

When I was a kid I used to sit the whole day (litterally the whole day I went to sleep right after it) on my homework because I didn't enjoy it and no one would hold my hand without getting mad at me for not understanding, spacing out or fidgeting. I lived at my grandmothers house for a few months and she was the only one who would help me and not intimidate me and sit with me.
After leaving my grandmas house and moving to my mun again I could do my homework very quickly - but only with my friends.",8.471095238095238,5.6945928714285765,8.793809523809527,73.57452380952381,63.14285714285714,12.0,37.61904761904762,10.25414643259724,3.568761904761905,813,30,167,14,9,272,111,210,0.104,0.765,0.131,0.835,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,4,0,10,0,17,4,3,1,0,36,28,16,0,5,7,0,4,2,1,3,0,0,2,3,6,14,0,2,4,0,0,2,8,5,0,2,5,4,32,5,26,19,6,32,0,0,0,1,10,13,2,3,16,123,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684733094820414,0.0,0.10566469876787037,0.10994314582814356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873212849065418,0.0,0.1235241644243618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221820618977669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278611089573545,0.0,0.1054954383716453,0.0,0.0,0.17042646009638765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361828361504444,0.18878808557258986,0.0,0.14474248461241612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208368267757552,0.12215250154446325,0.06903272339306803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177128553870797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049216722438031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990710236856832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910455873448315,0.0,0.11667363640374576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233261081869708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054652901838754,0.14043379180656435,0.0,0.09797307823000817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15043142958297726,0.0,0.0,0.17907006841846645,0.200982371272014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537124042660775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464617020352988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256774194651967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092997001607414,0.0,0.1322259051163381,0.0,0.11195372867184787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512577900205756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755249165868064,0.0,0.11411831297430795,0.0,0.10902148552499508,0.07793398170314708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248628063049573,0.0,0.2950379291422389,0.0,0.12736906962090253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877234068967897,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brainrose,2019/01/31,My experience having OCD Hope this might help someone: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdw6sWypzIs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdw6sWypzIs),42.87966666666666,53.52503030000001,12.850000000000005,8.871666666666698,46.0,9.333333333333334,33.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,5.481333333333334,133,3,6,2,3,23,10,10,0.0,0.573,0.4270000000000001,0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4752802622988906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256726479134846,0.0,0.0,0.4825848059527663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5154379811737293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116814196647677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,soapy_diamond,2019/01/31,"Should I go to the crisis center right now? Hello there,

I've moved out from my dysfunctional family some months ago and am now in a new city starting over. It's stressful. A family is letting me stay in their attic until I find a flat, but they are dysfunctional too. I can't find a place of my own, I feel like a burden. On top of that I am really lonely and too anxious to make friends in college. I talk to people every day, but it's been three months and I wouldn't call anyone my friend, really. I realized that my broken home is still impacting me. I don't know who I am, now that they aren't forcing me to be someone I'm not anymore. Especially over the last few weeks the sky feels like crashing down on me.

My last therapist said I had PTSD, but I'm not so sure. I have surreal dreams of meeting myself in alternate versions, I can't stop thinking about all the things I ever failed at, I constantly feel the urge to scratch the skin of my back and my scalp as well as ears are itchy from the inside. Sometimes I think of perforating my skin, but I have never done that and mentioning it feels pathetic. I also am extremely anxious and detached. I want to connect to people, but I hate talking and I feel like I have nothing to say. Sometimes I think I've already had or heard every conversation ever in the world. 

I think I might be at the turning point of a manic phase. I've experienced one before, but I was never diagnosed. I seem like a very normal quiet person from outside, but I'm really lost. While looking out of the window on the metro today I saw a crisis center. It's 6 minutes away from my home and I really feel like talking to someone. I just don't know what to say. And I don't think I'm having a crisis. At least not more of a crisis than usually. I'm a little scared of going there and not being able to say anything. My last therapist assumed I was ok when I didn't have anything specific to talk about and actually declared my treatment successful when it wasn't. I've made an appointment with a new counselor in April 2019. But I think I might have lost the will to talk to someone completely until then. 

Should I just go to the centre now? I don't feel like it's enough of a crisis. Even writing this makes me feel like a pity party.",3.148806095512356,4.554513719222463,4.742895968322532,83.9654214662827,73.79481641468684,7.649844012479003,25.604091672666183,8.256446698504663,1.590518166546676,1784,59,361,29,36,601,213,463,0.165,0.722,0.113,-0.9834,0,2,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,3,5,22,22,1,2,28,1,39,5,4,3,6,69,77,30,0,5,15,0,11,7,2,6,1,7,3,1,14,14,0,1,21,1,0,4,16,9,1,2,14,21,57,13,55,53,8,64,0,5,2,0,23,27,0,6,39,250,71,3,0.06950711964504075,0.0,0.06782892225101032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061613867745710635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670283493232401,0.05558481846790843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704652156774618,0.0689323855676797,0.048600994176841536,0.0,0.11439687415491068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530422694097951,0.053446684588590025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05914543937666743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097454051944732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072876892519534,0.07511250347965251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482634199051185,0.0,0.0,0.07054826332634206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112991575337102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181943501758939,0.0,0.04590879698829155,0.12574633815327613,0.11712549223687102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105025285222238,0.0,0.2811591051824068,0.29793540097557786,0.0,0.0,0.12705649625584572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740205643578662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850749365943238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862389054605073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944261653620862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763985903773945,0.169972738507163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710757390884892,0.0,0.2377036740283801,0.06966439405984902,0.0,0.0,0.05836847468642482,0.0,0.1517504637284983,0.0,0.0,0.06576931721998171,0.09279308418938836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474721396487037,0.0,0.0,0.1109598395281386,0.07387506816705662,0.0,0.0,0.1072163512965228,0.13426081855891528,0.0,0.0,0.06810221949328217,0.06669395591679995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04709982312987485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637496999865232,0.060690935859464036,0.07262014619277142,0.0,0.06570669475109002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125010329145492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17811216270452498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059358700396415325,0.06611718775267439,0.16582455405972082,0.06958875237974636,0.0,0.0,0.0632766712199991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766794707483429,0.0,0.13748863724278518,0.0,0.04919749703594131,0.07408534132506835,0.055508475534536264,0.058111064346046425,0.0796201707133506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550963768247835,0.0,0.0,0.2793359494389327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140624633734185,0.04617744177643087,0.2672241341643631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588462216932123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560378670195002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655227239711486,0.05735065308160622,0.040997100034017686,0.0,0.05575441877442615,0.0,0.06249524803038351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Artemiashrimps,2019/01/31,I feel like all I can do is try to commit suicide when something goes wrong I keep forgetting assignments in my college classes and only realize when they’re overdue when I get a blackboard notification. I try so hard to stay ahead in my classes and I strive for a decent gpa but I still manage to let things slip by. The only solution I can come up with is attempting to kill my self as a punishment but I know it’s unhealthy and I don’t have the guts to email my professor and look even dumber. I’m on tons of medication and some for depression and anxiety but nothing works. It never works. When I try to see a therapist it always ends in a screaming match. I don’t have any privacy with my psychiatrist because my parents insist on being in the room with me even though I’m 18. I need help and I can’t get any and all I can think about is cutting myself I need help oh my god what do I do without sacrificing my education? I can’t stop crying but if I go to the hospital I’ll fail my classes and I can’t afford to retake any ,1.565140642303433,3.625361283720935,3.98983388704319,84.69263565891474,80.34883720930232,7.258028792912514,25.1218161683278,8.269060116576782,1.7268560354374298,816,32,169,17,21,284,119,215,0.217,0.711,0.071,-0.9881,2,0,1,0,0,3,8.0,0,0,0,5,10,8,3,0,9,0,18,2,1,0,4,33,32,21,2,3,6,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,5,13,0,2,4,0,0,2,7,7,0,0,0,5,31,1,26,30,4,20,0,2,2,0,5,8,0,2,10,117,36,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276734076418686,0.0,0.0,0.3010022740192373,0.0,0.112869757028723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899406567894169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709496651394742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620687212315906,0.0,0.0,0.12707830610167786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306790338469398,0.0,0.0,0.194901115689796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460201922244249,0.10540453003744997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416993597625786,0.0,0.08385191309382181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216927343960508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19778951537474804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114272555898845,0.16323413058559366,0.0,0.08108560601947076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087240088600393,0.0,0.0720819075940475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389870333998446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863374187476291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21880207611270328,0.11379402129188225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157119409233854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22442573455297216,0.0,0.0,0.1638287011295167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757242466021588,0.0,0.15391920765450104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358557408563227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726088056933546,0.11782778597618253,0.1233522986657056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138776003174324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130843952670438,0.09802080987029907,0.09453940076952463,0.14495994768952633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300515412703342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222589189333562,0.0,0.21482567683946688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16131477419289256,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rightToTheWrongPoint,2019/01/31,"Improving mental health after quitting weed Hello Everyone,

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I am 25 and I have been a heavy cannabis user for past 3 years. I had to quit recently(3 months ago) due to health reasons(stomach ulcers). Now after I quit, I cant focus on anything. I have zero concentration or presence in what I am doing. My thoughts are disorganized. I get stressed over things beyond my control and I regret almost every decision I make.(I will regret posting this question here too)

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I have no clue what to do. Can anyone help me? How do I get my brain functioning properly?",4.73855769230769,7.530909586538467,5.371769230769232,75.07323076923079,73.32692307692308,7.621538461538463,30.592307692307692,8.548686976883017,2.893495384615385,463,21,72,9,10,149,77,104,0.127,0.818,0.055,-0.7399,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,5,3,0,1,1,0,14,4,1,2,0,11,17,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,16,0,10,13,0,13,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,3,8,54,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281979464691337,0.0,0.14481721715140616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133939672729795,0.351461116524852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112248878034703,0.0,0.1190109052208334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614450613689474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16220494612994796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218495781333143,0.13819173115114966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111719074964278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30745109432421863,0.0,0.0,0.0969365257042338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653575789717547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574413001657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543524281546393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805727659808634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385071095010807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200881508890744,0.4614672669405763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656630683387669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607988307711042,0.0,0.0,0.11481305930119078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.351461116524852,0.09313129567081688
mentalhealth,nyarchan,2019/01/31,"What is wrong with me? This is my first time making a post on reddit so I'm sorry for any mistakes. 
Basically whenever I hear someone cry (mostly children) i get really annoyed and angry. Like so uncontrollably angry to the point where I think about killing or seriously harming the person. I'm not a violent person though and would normally never want to harm someone! I've had this problem ever since i was around 9 (i'm 14 now) and it makes me scared of having children in the future in case I harm them. 
Do any of you share this problem? Is this some sort of mental illness or am i just an asshole haha",2.8645454545454534,5.006432666666669,4.5945454545454565,81.55227272727275,76.5,6.696969696969697,25.90909090909091,7.686295010490155,1.6252500000000003,480,18,88,7,11,162,85,120,0.316,0.573,0.112,-0.9822,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,1,9,16,3,2,6,1,9,1,0,2,2,23,18,8,1,6,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,4,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,13,0,1,2,1,11,3,12,15,2,13,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,5,7,61,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432665123020425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15922636120242248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19647306334673048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179219960735794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521411300059274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344875237813774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201592068869696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19788586863138946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738363016168457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23878543772864125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18025225388221106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379504927530781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752481710684972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123532709783625,0.0,0.0,0.16908374158378825,0.0,0.17130170980773998,0.0,0.0,0.34229626554977804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145844841448289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17907348207193255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795766577494554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031007833457509,0.0,0.0,0.20022295009146931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460845458026728,0.17573239776751906,0.0,0.10429669606513747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549827676001873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270594386577543,0.19555906659789127,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,quick_rant,2019/01/31,"I don't know what to do I am at a very confusing time at the moment and my anxiety levels have gone up which has caused me to start thinking everything I do. 

I moved countries a bit over a year ago and got a full time job which I dislike because of the company's policies, I feel like they do not suit my own values and have started to think about quitting and moving back home. This is making me extremely scared as I left for a lot of reasons. However, while being back for Christmas I felt as if things had changed and I might feel like I fit in but now being back I feel the opposite. 

My relationship with my family had always been awful until I moved countries. My dad has anger management issues so I was beaten up a lot as a kid if he didn't have weed or if we did not obey the rules my parents had set. My mom is very judging and would rather blame you than take your side. Due to this I was a very shy and quiet as a kid which led to me getting bullied my whole life by my parents and the kids in my class, never had friends. I did tell my parents but they would say I am a liar and just trying to get their attention or that it was just my own fault for being who I am.

My mom would also call me fat and lazy, say I would never get a job and that I look like I use drugs everyday. This went on for years and ruined my self-confidence. They have now said they are proud of me but I am scared of disappointing them by moving back. 

When I turned 12 I would spend all my free time in my bed as I had no friends to hang out and was scared of people, started cutting couple years later. Parents found out and said I am an idiot. This went on until I was 17 and started seeing a psychiatrist to which they did not react well as my parents didn't think depression is real and that going to see someone about this is crazy. 

During this time I also had a boyfriend who helped me with a lot of my issues and I started taking medication for depression, massive thank you for my him and the meds as I was able to attend school and felt better. However I broke up with my bf a year and a half later and stopped meds about a year after that due to me moving. 

Thanks to my family and all the bullying in school I dislike everything about myself and am scared of people as I feel they will hit me or yell at me if I say something wrong. I am also scared of eating as I feel like I will gain weight, I am normal weight atm after losing 20 kilos but I have feel it is not enough. I just don't want to worry people... I am scared of complementing myself as I feel like this is very selfish and even thinking to myself ""I look good today"" feels inappropriate and extremely selfish. 

I have noticed this all is affecting my relationships and social life way too much as I tend to feel like there is no point because people will hate me anyway or that they dislike and I need to constantly ask them what they are thinking about and if they like me. I hate doing this as I know how annoying it is, I find it annoying myself. 

I also have a lot of issues with my sexual life as I have been raped twice in my life and got sexually abused online as a teenager for 5 years. 

I made a mistake of sending nudes with my picture on them to a guy online after he told me he likes me. To a bullied 13 year old who had no one else that was a thread to hang on to and I would do anything he asked me to. I have no clue who he actually was or where he is from and hate myself for doing this. I blame myself all the time. I think he shared them to other people on the app as I started getting messages from random guys asking me to send them pictures and videos. At first I refused but after they started threatening me saying they know where I live and that they will come and kill my family I gave in and did what I was asked. Never told my parents as they would have just blamed me and I already knew it was completely my fault. Eventually this led to them asking me to do stuff live on a webcam through Skype to which I agreed. My ex taught me stay calm on these instances and just block them, I would call him every time this happened and he would talk to me until I calmed down. 

This has given me a lot of problems with sleeping, especially alone as I feel that I am not safe and need someone next to me. This is still a problem and I cannot get past it, smoked weed for a while but it gave me more anxiety and almost made me unable to leave the house so I stopped. I also feel that saying no to people asking to have sex is rude and will force myself to sleep with someone if I have to. 

I feel numb and am unsure of how I feel most of the time. I don't know if I am happy or if I am just faking it due to doing so for a long time in the past. I am tired and feel as if I am the worst person alive and sometimes think I should have just ended it when I was 12 to save myself from all this. People keep saying it will get better but I have tried my best and still feel this way. Is there something wrong with me, I feel like I am crazy for feeling all this. 

I am sorry for ranting, I just had to open up about this as I am too scared to pick up the phone and call those helplines as phone calls give me anxiety and because of living in a foreign country I don't know how to get help, tried googling it earlier. I also never told my psychiatrist about the online things and got raped after stopping to see her so I have never gone to anyone about these issues. 

I also want to apologize if this all seems like it is everywhere but this is how it phrased in my head. Thank you for reading and sorry again for opening up like this.",5.6367521178840505,4.650501661248935,6.288793426970942,83.55756112199566,67.46022241231822,9.081713071552748,28.606763431662024,7.996032779217251,1.6102407516763708,4378,114,957,45,62,1439,383,1169,0.211,0.6990000000000001,0.091,-0.9994,10,1,4,0,2,1,64.0,1,4,21,9,52,69,14,8,45,1,113,19,5,16,12,203,212,116,1,29,38,10,21,11,3,17,9,10,2,6,62,64,4,7,37,2,3,18,22,40,1,4,49,36,184,30,151,142,23,130,0,6,5,4,99,40,0,27,79,716,246,9,0.03446251501769019,0.04083244494380404,0.033630443379708726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03054894021401202,0.0,0.03450923069023632,0.035692772207598485,0.03803024228674435,0.19291762566078172,0.0286755732292359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909118898144396,0.0,0.0,0.024096991793754727,0.0,0.028359713462976964,0.0,0.1933067966638575,0.0,0.0,0.105998187218017,0.0,0.06302408785585248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03616628334285213,0.06095858793313948,0.037624140686182896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407603238929283,0.0,0.0,0.03540249605983306,0.036456771322297486,0.02968640516811738,0.036133291319261684,0.037241735701365984,0.0,0.0,0.038132117379562507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936502737263725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039965576296129714,0.03526375643940307,0.028789009163939814,0.0,0.03052355928928668,0.03560899042422473,0.0,0.022762166145464363,0.0,0.029036155258488818,0.0,0.06194537268420729,0.0,0.097464576220158,0.0,0.2962298122862261,0.14772016568744378,0.06617883772205524,0.0,0.03149811438506785,0.029313797668863318,0.0,0.037786368924078766,0.053251307229405416,0.0,0.12603669196223272,0.033059584663362535,0.01958584147352357,0.028905522533888176,0.08268846441092256,0.0,0.0,0.06824661611281202,0.03047508821593978,0.036685988064194035,0.0,0.1020737963503428,0.03536848284397345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04619899475543742,0.0,0.03456871246446458,0.0,0.0,0.03976511530457764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387964814389578,0.06839745700351009,0.030631866804639488,0.03812766682068036,0.0,0.09469848490546584,0.0,0.0,0.03649082740938911,0.037443623402678435,0.0,0.0973675741385822,0.18520308475648006,0.0,0.0912930964294934,0.03049824131855255,0.05787966601732445,0.03855473913485191,0.0,0.14649398938420374,0.0,0.0652185299569831,0.023003996380122987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656017033354465,0.03471735823985892,0.0,0.03655928236768023,0.0,0.08072416214677013,0.0,0.18314099757993088,0.0253339138458022,0.05110703642535014,0.13289808064151287,0.0,0.0366512756900222,0.0,0.033765947632570674,0.0,0.039235801763651865,0.036162612292053885,0.0,0.02335269207288574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295992673807513,0.0,0.06579674019848221,0.1672437807456663,0.03009133883227575,0.0,0.0,0.032578215960985916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659519452152273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03665512679613635,0.03447184106368797,0.03922588689484462,0.0,0.03543320516195651,0.0,0.07399968778558373,0.0,0.0,0.06556348723670803,0.16443585099681646,0.2415209269694301,0.06975581012753894,0.08238648777671533,0.03137337935056055,0.03595191915869992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897480686776844,0.035130194093682565,0.08759993141820188,0.05306185549353374,0.03408430855672285,0.0771559281492859,0.17074921854978722,0.03673245562532869,0.05504361802034568,0.0864366170521845,0.0,0.0,0.03945133461077573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051823044760781284,0.027699664154352027,0.030121757122297987,0.09518536093012013,0.0,0.0,0.0457907273046469,0.15457531661578452,0.0,0.0,0.1607629571761566,0.039609591372076085,0.03266643464065738,0.09879122987411657,0.0,0.07019335655434003,0.037485320178939366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029764547992894973,0.0,0.11374073638456182,0.040653768500818255,0.054709480646014316,0.0,0.08393211807189177,0.030985939782573513,0.06389419337312457,0.0,0.0384761672898879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034998356850752366,0.0,0.22033063701636005,0.07535870031120459,0.0,0.15534910841418104
mentalhealth,skeleton_boo,2019/01/31,"I'm in a bad place and I have no one to talk to about it. I feel trapped So I'm 17 and I've been rejected from further therapy (therapist shortages; thanks Ireland's mental health department for those cuts) so I can't go to therapy as I'm not deemed as ""bad enough"" I.e. I'm not about to kill/harm myself so there's no room for me, even though I have chronic stress, anxiety and depression. 

Furthermore, my parents refuse to acknowledge anything is really wrong with me as they're of the mindset of ""there's no reason for you to be sad/stressed/ youre making it up"" etc as I'm sure many of you have heard before. So I can't talk to them about what I'm going through as most of the time when I feel bad it's because of them or they make it worse. A previous therapist suggested medicating me and my mother wouldn't allow it and as I'm under the age of signing for myself I couldn't get it.

I'd like to talk to my friends but unfortunately when I do it becomes an unhealthy and toxic situation where they get upset over what I'm talking about and I end up relying on them and taking my bad mood out on them. My girlfriend is really sensitive to it and again I turned it toxic by almost using her as a therapist unintentionally and she got the brunt of my bad moods. We've had discussions that she can't be my therapist anymore and I completely understand it was unfair so I've stopped telling her most of the stuff I go through.

I do frequently try self care and self soothing or whatever and it works but only to a minor degree. I tried bullet journaling and i do regular exercise which do help but not enough. 

So I have nowhere to go. Anytime I talk to my parents, they call me a pity party and tell me to suck it up, friends and partners I hurt. So where can I go?? I'm too poor to afford any online therapy which I would be happy to use and any free forms I've found aren't very good. So I feel trapped. Is there anything I can actually do or should I just grin and bear it?? Cause I feel like I'm going to explode as I'm in a very stressful exam year (leaving cert) and it's severely impacting my grades. I'm open to anything honestly because I don't see any options currently. Thanks for reading if you do, I'm just in a bad place right now.

Tl;dr: I'm a teen with shitty parents and I'm in a bad place with no one to talk to and no access to any form of therapy. Is there anything that I can do?? Thanks :)",1.6783092705167135,3.594503319444449,3.6699054373522486,87.85074468085108,79.29761904761905,7.225869638635597,25.20753123944613,8.197803283752503,1.5634492232353936,1899,73,409,37,47,644,220,504,0.201,0.6920000000000001,0.106,-0.9933,5,3,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,4,7,1,27,33,2,3,15,0,33,4,0,7,1,64,76,47,0,5,12,4,4,2,4,3,4,1,1,3,22,26,0,2,8,2,2,7,15,17,0,2,6,6,57,15,66,63,7,39,0,4,1,0,39,21,1,8,13,261,79,4,0.0,0.0,0.06207690360136325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369901706997833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303550542865034,0.0,0.04866360773862252,0.0,0.06308679117827377,0.0,0.0,0.20939161329829026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.371798138727756,0.07755552872574087,0.07025532514915647,0.054129796210804014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495576759530712,0.0,0.06485747564926088,0.06534785492836798,0.0,0.0,0.06669679661075019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05478960000460468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634204777433285,0.13145802693997136,0.07094507249349757,0.04201564569388806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286581453002067,0.045444987555975716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974813726544159,0.09829416247068844,0.0,0.06647011109918433,0.0,0.21691567596228975,0.05335538742750737,0.0508769566929416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771699435743389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761741763434986,0.0,0.0,0.042638310050404304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680988038738473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037812350699879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735675619410318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621559887883113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492405821783561,0.06449338133052614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408319023382385,0.06410672714466321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621134121089326,0.048380390816110286,0.0,0.0,0.2119034148199501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199385468548784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363000126139302,0.0,0.08150396016556517,0.0654045394612086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054324972299786035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069115505482565,0.0,0.13272402000178146,0.07186434235393724,0.0,0.0,0.07150343756465878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318313810490199,0.21860469684920272,0.0,0.07282142158898476,0.0,0.0,0.059954298674041936,0.0,0.047828898917894894,0.3067772902222273,0.11120075891195484,0.17569832214240674,0.2909870621763989,0.2954373934311426,0.0,0.0,0.06249923999020555,0.0,0.03709312750733646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863778130840614,0.06919244509925962,0.0,0.06622315441954768,0.0,0.1098820467890658,0.0,0.1049744222574336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046310866369808544,0.0,0.0648268642783085,0.04518869855857369,0.06955059619530933,0.0,0.040964549032055216
mentalhealth,MochnessLonster,2019/01/31,"Hi, I need help Afternoon all, thanks for reading.

I finally have a good job with wonderful healthcare, they cover a lot of mental health care and I want to take advantage of that.  I want to see a therapist, but I only see people listed as psychologists, or psychiatrists.  Whats the difference, and are therapists going to be something different as well?  I don't think I need meds, i'm just depressed because of my father passing and having been stuck in an abusive relationship for the last 4 years.  I just want somebody to talk to on a professional level.  I'm sorry if this is a trivial question that google could solve for me, but I want to hear from other people, i feel more confident doing it this way.

​

thank you.",5.265652173913047,6.7676074492753635,6.209391304347829,75.12365217391306,68.71014492753623,9.288115942028986,31.19130434782609,9.642632912329526,3.1175773913043483,580,24,101,13,10,192,99,138,0.107,0.687,0.206,0.8121,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,1,3,7,0,0,8,0,9,1,0,0,1,23,29,9,0,8,6,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,1,1,0,2,4,14,6,18,25,3,10,0,1,2,0,9,3,0,5,4,69,21,3,0.0,0.16103476432422725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726175551573836,0.16514925754741416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828513465095737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857243389457194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085155277512878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170617287944762,0.0,0.0,0.2840004628963127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872173236831143,0.0,0.0,0.14888612577177188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724253029964928,0.11399743550305445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446923876483606,0.15318390874406004,0.0,0.09109966648699266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487275111856908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107872928439822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554843256566133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096878234027775,0.0,0.1369684083526683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155563982006391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033680148825743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18845002059469804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225374455428534,0.0,0.13594985088825914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591977407938805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21661024153518296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463252207609976,0.0,0.15214355548433325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218971471218036,0.10924177807856646,0.0,0.2502609903406288,0.0,0.3156111015838481,0.0,0.08708760789130685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206602023675469,0.10788146943266308,0.0,0.0,0.12220217322569565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739192770705778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16514925754741416,0.08752356156233032
mentalhealth,CountZorloc,2019/01/31,"Suicidal ideation Hello people, I come writing asking for help with my mental health for the first time in my life. I have been depressed for a long time for no good reason and it seems to have no end in sight. I also have a condition (I think it’s a condition) where the thought of suicide forces itself into my head many times a day. I don’t even particularly want to die, it just seems like a good alternative to living. These have been going on for a few years now.  I have a very amazing girlfriend who loves and supports me and I feel she is the only thing I truly love on the planet. Now I’m in a particularly dark time. I graduated college last year, a degree in psychology in an attempt to understand myself better. Now I have no clue what I want to do with my life and it forces me deeper into depression than I have ever been. I have a job interview today that my family is extremely excited for and so happy for me, but for me there are 2 options. The first being I don’t get the job and let everyone down, the second being just as bad where I get the job and hate my life like every single other job I’ve worked in the past. I feel I’m at the end of my rope. How can I survive in this world if I have never once found passion, nor the drive to work 40 hours a week. Any helpful words would be greatly appreciated ",3.344191176470588,4.462209742647062,5.071352941176472,82.92658823529412,72.8970588235294,7.792941176470588,24.62941176470588,8.238735603445708,1.3829273529411763,1038,30,215,16,20,354,152,272,0.109,0.7490000000000001,0.14300000000000002,0.6591,4,0,0,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,0,7,13,17,1,0,23,0,24,8,1,2,2,34,45,14,3,4,4,0,2,2,1,1,4,0,0,0,12,12,0,0,9,0,0,3,7,4,0,3,5,3,31,13,33,35,2,41,0,2,1,3,11,16,0,4,24,155,43,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829215747577868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705133672790209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693699366152377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657756979601708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917061741346678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932052838119163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687205195480445,0.0,0.17861763936250055,0.0,0.10761478285663137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836787194915601,0.0,0.0,0.06848686109683935,0.09379435488949957,0.08736405486481509,0.09908109791684208,0.0,0.0,0.09775055166534688,0.0,0.10485846856131983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639885205462624,0.0,0.1136917191149215,0.0,0.0,0.10834843046583324,0.0,0.05892992766548315,0.17394201360791212,0.0,0.11431958260830614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038089049593423,0.0,0.10237329592737347,0.10641677757122524,0.11021857721739936,0.0,0.0,0.13900364826480816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211464893107602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115888713965693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452192242050639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603096987163513,0.21971984617204526,0.10131627159786856,0.0,0.09156096384252277,0.09176318297359408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717017007550768,0.0,0.0,0.1051262970234862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449603819769936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997281392962229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042742371631234,0.0,0.07886160145613909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898469631143154,0.07188621371621995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661151423966203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18879260084378527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268420283774233,0.11766720380393607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888762608082227,0.06644094145654851,0.0,0.08231899170805664,0.2418519891138409,0.0,0.0982868483371244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794588309244672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855558513636224,0.12231915796526235,0.0,0.08317458493005123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097641937725811,0.0,0.0,0.07365903986995444,0.0,0.0,0.13354707909968627
mentalhealth,VoidedPixel,2019/01/31,"Living with anxiety and a Negative inner dialogue Reality is a beautiful thing and I miss out on it a lot. In my experience their is nothing more depressing than being able to only live 10% in the present moment. 90% of the time I live in my own head, creating stories and constantly thinking about what could go wrong only to completely forget and/or ignore every good thing that has happened to me or has been said to me. I forget my accomplishments, exponentially second guess my ambitions, and beat myself up over things I have no control over. This mental story telling is happening 24/7 and getting up in the morning is honestly the worst part. I have dreams of things that I had in the past that I no longer have now and wake up back into my mental prison. ""Just kidding, your still a loser"" My brain will tell me. I tell myself how things could have been different if I made a different choice, How I ruined my relationships by being too insecure, How I missed out on chances to be happy, how I failed to meet a goal because I didn't try hard enough etc. Its as if I'm living in a never ending nightmare. A Nightmare that filters reality and turns it into this evil thing, even if the environment and the people in it are good. My brain is like a broken garbage disposal in which it allows all of the good times I had and the memories associated with it to go down the drain but it filters out and keeps the bad memories in my head for another story.   


Consciously I am very aware of myself and my mental process. I have heard a wide range of vices and tips on how to deal with anxiety that I try to ingrain into my psyche everyday. I have seen professionals for it that have given me meditation exercises to further help control my mind but it all comes back after I finish meditating.   


I study mental health a lot as I'm very interested in the social work field so I have come to find out a lot the struggles we face in our daily lives but yet I cant take my own advice because so many of my issues lie buried deep inside my unconscious mind. Something so big and so dark lives their, It is intelligent and it often hides itself and ruins my communication when I try to get help for it. I can believe that this matter has even gone as far as to becoming spiritual. I can believe that I'm haunted by a dark spirit that is planting the thoughts into my head rather than it being my own thoughts.  


 I'm open to exploring treatments on a spiritual level and treatments that work heavily with the unconscious mind. If you can relate, what have you done? ",6.734558441558441,6.650778911111113,7.4432287157287185,73.18579545454547,64.93939393939394,10.546176046176047,32.83008658008658,10.208560254849939,3.2430389610389616,2031,75,376,43,28,677,241,495,0.11,0.8079999999999999,0.083,-0.9113,2,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,2,3,2,9,22,21,1,2,29,0,38,9,7,9,3,75,65,38,0,7,10,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,0,1,36,32,0,4,6,2,0,6,6,14,0,1,14,5,57,7,66,44,13,60,1,7,1,0,19,37,0,10,18,289,93,7,0.07238581956715621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073458511903202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590284325203868,0.1107499076803473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132045427431027,0.0604391357808722,0.08825144749450356,0.07994445064691072,0.0,0.163108061555863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161302812957135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470794815722445,0.07589515461831409,0.07822335541857615,0.16237370347147087,0.11558837367325722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462660152306695,0.0623458003252112,0.0,0.0,0.15125554982267247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407582523696044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411235088697216,0.07479390156212938,0.08072932314463879,0.09562030227436648,0.0,0.060988174960127366,0.0,0.0,0.07080722128645711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661593277046901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563720621862663,0.0,0.08227705878376282,0.18214137339294814,0.0,0.0,0.07974114110267998,0.0,0.128021082370792,0.0770560509380833,0.06484347630822772,0.0,0.22286620255605893,0.07694274128636264,0.0,0.0,0.09703737805654868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555198920177363,0.0,0.06433984235879511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035364055091536006,0.0,0.3835080290849428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846195057637775,0.0,0.06849321269033956,0.0,0.0733878596374633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29179152318893137,0.0,0.2192671286556598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05582840649441778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945614613103597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010535522155276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838678864460796,0.0691004554030602,0.05018321306319793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777152805783844,0.0,0.0,0.06885549059425528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378822728750804,0.0,0.05572614035397356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780740901090595,0.0,0.0,0.07567337525800795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054425127788105314,0.0,0.18980519050752398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885395325461521,0.0463819103673438,0.0,0.11493251032362915,0.08441750700189965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474356598683339,0.07873498557771967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945176399839252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053954775116798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791425303803591,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Demonieee,2019/01/31,"Need help finding a mental disorder. Basically I'm asking for this friend. He gets triggered/angry easily, and bangs on tables, walls or any surface when he is angry. He could easily get angry because of a loss in a simple mobile game or getting upset because someone stepped on his foot. Is this some mental disorder? All help would be appreciated!",4.753333333333334,7.5140309206349265,6.2986507936507925,68.60607142857145,73.12698412698413,8.009523809523811,29.54761904761905,8.841846274778883,3.1177428571428574,280,12,40,6,6,95,48,63,0.21,0.5720000000000001,0.218,0.1635,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,3,0,5,1,1,0,1,9,11,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,8,2,7,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,3,1,22,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117440135414684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078243112098768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710290144851843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749172332022808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5095594832886882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031819068794456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717515851015996,0.0,0.3484341284224906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980114852453909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4480604636538813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483566268307526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18835753034258526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579184442092951,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,in_searchof_answers,2019/01/31,How to to absolutely refute solipsism/ simulation/ brain in a vat? Those ideas keep popping in my mind. And yes it matters for me that there is an external world. And yes it changes everything. I've already consulted a doctor and 2 psychologist and they could not help. ,4.328571428571428,7.2194259387755135,5.32995918367347,74.30432653061227,75.3265306122449,9.634285714285717,32.248979591836736,9.888512548439397,3.970294693877552,217,11,37,7,5,71,41,49,0.045,0.8240000000000001,0.131,0.501,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,2,2,1,1,0,11,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,24,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35599256233269466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601236776889741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34126365379285145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575665508347974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33019054058545744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28992836517098713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21622921037654566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36417146861147853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28673802997616776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.325729865063724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eyedeafan88,2019/01/31,"I need help but I can't find any I'm in the US. I have insurance. 

I'm falling apart. I can't sleep. I'm cutting everyday. I've written three suicide notes in the last week. Like I want to die but I don't have the guts. I'm depressed. I have some kind of personality disorder one phychiatrist said borderline personality disorder but my therapist says bipolar 2. All I know is it hurts. It hurts really bad. I've been too the local phych wards they don't help. It's like 3-4 days and they send you on your way like ""good luck"". I need to be somewhere that will figure out wtf is going on and balance my meds. But like every place I call is crazy expensive. I don't have a couple grand on top of my insurance. Like am I supposed to just fucking die? Like is this it is there legit like no help? I don't need the fucking Ritz carliton just somewhere that can help.",-0.043666666666666736,2.2710007444444464,2.347222222222225,91.59250000000002,91.55555555555556,5.8888888888888875,20.833333333333336,7.333567415737692,0.7990000000000004,674,24,149,13,24,229,102,180,0.31,0.55,0.14,-0.9922,0,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,1,2,2,1,4,18,3,0,6,0,20,5,2,0,1,19,34,6,3,4,6,0,0,7,0,1,1,2,0,2,7,3,0,0,3,0,1,3,7,7,0,2,3,2,21,11,11,29,2,18,0,3,0,2,15,10,2,2,11,80,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434765506483924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356355504354367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665300490852124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724172028247714,0.0,0.07999193613095276,0.0,0.1068306593119293,0.0,0.2574562791293423,0.0,0.2843083693168731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450434363238133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336520762358328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22933563476597546,0.0,0.0,0.07049161603721837,0.10403418196601164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325506135652264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26556281175936514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916275559345294,0.06816607033490378,0.10110460233067127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241786473452522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777427276208193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759098397711929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404892918502227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21660413272292367,0.1295895635941516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945962190168186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798513162170587,0.09863714465106672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412399049938055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567351767556274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401351498730725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491981284828348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315871119194971,0.09845274476738274,0.09949292553397047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WhySoGrude,2019/01/31,"My Last Ditch Effort I’ve vented to people recently but, while they did respond and try to support me, I feel like they did it just to shut me up (this is one time I’m praying I’m overthinking it).  So, this is my last ditch effort to get my story out:

So, I’m on the spectrum (High functioning Asperger’s) and I was always the outcast/exploited (for intelligence, not trying to be cocky so I’m sorry if I come off that way) person in social groups and I developed social anxiety as a result.  Once middle school hit, I got consistently depressed and developed trichotillomania (like what the one woman had on “My Strange Addiction; hair pulling and consuming which has stuck with me but more so hair twisting and less eating).  My parents, not knowing any better, started punishing me for it thinking I was acting out until my barber of all people diagnosed me due to some reason I’m forgetting now.  As middle school marched on I was admitted to therapy for expressing me wanting to die (and what they didn’t know was I was writing suicide notes in Chinese either because: I meant it but I didn’t have the balls to go through with it or to vent stress and have nobody understand what I was writing).  High school came, Freshman year was me just being depressed all of the time and when Sophomore year came around, I met me (now ex) GF of 3.5 years.  We were in love but one night we got into an argument and she nearly ODd on her depression meds (then my therapist berated me and telling me how bad I was for arguing).  Junior and senior year were slightly better but I started using games, snakes and m*********** as coping strategies (censoring because I’m not sure if it’s allowed, but you can guess what that is).  Freshman year of my college career at SUNY ESF began and I was super depressed because I had separation anxiety and never overcame it until then, however I made some friends (who I lost because I was still clinging to my anti social ways).  Spring semester arrives and I was super depressed again (it’s been a cyclic pattern ever since I had it) and a friend asked if I wanted to hook up with her, and me being depressed and lonely (long distance didn’t sit well with me) said yes.  However I instantly regretted it and called my GF ago confess...needless to say it took forever to mount that hurdle.  Sophomore year came and all was well however depression and anxiety kept spiking and waning and it was physically draining, but still good since I got to nerd out over snakes.  Now come my Spring semester and I broke up with my GF because of her driving while high and making fun of it (she knows my stance on drugs and still did it) and I’ve relied on friends to vent to and they sort of articulated what they said to make it seem like they care while they probably don’t since whenever I try contacting them they open my message it and read it, but never respond (they’re probabky busy but I doubt it because their SC stories say otherwise).  Now I’m basically nothing but an exhausted introvert whose disorders are getting to a point almost comparable to that of when I was in middle school and I’m drained of the fighting I’ve done for 8 years and I kinda just want it to stop: the anxiety, depression, numbness, hair twisting, lack of friends.  I just want to finally rest and have days where I’m happy and go-lucky.  I don’t know what to do anymore...",3.4602877414268813,5.741450480620159,4.553249244514522,81.88951123374065,75.2015503875969,7.659703061358559,28.916699513861516,8.543581382742746,2.416616344764158,2660,116,485,53,59,868,295,645,0.177,0.71,0.113,-0.9929,5,2,1,0,2,1,85.0,2,1,10,7,24,41,3,2,13,1,42,10,3,8,7,117,96,65,2,9,22,2,4,3,7,0,5,4,0,2,34,52,1,2,11,3,0,10,10,21,2,3,43,8,75,20,71,49,10,91,1,12,0,1,55,32,0,12,49,329,109,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627170077289288,0.0,0.0,0.05388799079208133,0.0,0.06087389914836715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058339226530493,0.0,0.0,0.04134030001977385,0.0,0.1860213036833671,0.0,0.0602888261142464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054117317512179054,0.05683183991377176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05075835757761523,0.22234758012965272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075302711723068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062074911475597835,0.2085878196205698,0.06198097887999526,0.0,0.0,0.10473297712735352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03920548397313619,0.0,0.4188769922644982,0.061702085968980774,0.06309197222495384,0.0,0.06967231795986029,0.0,0.0,0.06221080392126534,0.0,0.0,0.07049883211523753,0.062204874178552874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054989385997549454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03073800555280457,0.043429454904180785,0.0,0.06659410935948054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786942745256205,0.0,0.06352209226379955,0.0,0.06909841307662115,0.050989020281365004,0.14586153161356888,0.0,0.06696868347707026,0.0,0.0,0.0647136749475494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926886508194112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363765935864785,0.0991063614161386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909895867333488,0.0,0.0,0.05379855850433096,0.0,0.0,0.06636109605913093,0.0,0.054866696090797036,0.057522380763031775,0.08115758755811432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752564450798675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377229449825927,0.0,0.0,0.05704869825972321,0.0,0.05833107730170368,0.0,0.0,0.06474095626122862,0.12358166730937213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750175903433105,0.0,0.0,0.08429033407395599,0.053080787043843385,0.0,0.0,0.057467610641458826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554351162411012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080794426295896,0.0,0.0,0.0625037798406387,0.06002426561588009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156532623311079,0.09668767080328082,0.0,0.2460969465724925,0.0,0.055342292260077315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086205418443824,0.0,0.0,0.18590781505828616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805109958865514,0.08605706358860482,0.0,0.14564449504287785,0.050824410396080016,0.06963645009225503,0.0,0.0,0.06649602672574954,0.06898546609601275,0.05729526292352807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053134444569150174,0.0,0.06952037052999605,0.07058360913413528,0.0,0.03895273420344994,0.0,0.0,0.07089601713943343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754158577824775,0.12382030031701675,0.0,0.0,0.06328608837077712,0.0,0.052504331637530766,0.0,0.0,0.14342559102136446,0.09650691541632317,0.0,0.0,0.10931770634199788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740340995509122
mentalhealth,damnoriginal,2019/01/31,"How do I get my emotions back I am a sixteen year old girl and have always been hypermotional. I've been struggling with my mental health since I was thirteen. I spent the first two years of high school with a constant feeling of anguish and oppression on my chest, i was suicidal and practiced self harm daily. I thought of ending it all many times but never did because the love i felt for my friends and family would always stop me eventually. I got help and i've been taking meds for almost a year now but they never seemed to work. I started alternating severe mood shifts and complete apathy and then, probably as a coping mechanism, my emotions just shut down. I haven't felt a thing since the start of 2019. I tried  to commit suicide two weeks ago and i was hospitalized in a child neuropsychiatry ward for a week. Now i'm out and back to my life but to me it feels like I actually died, because nothing can make me feel. I miss my emotions so bad, but I have no clue on how to get them back. Any tip is well accepted.",3.75375,5.386597635467986,4.7620658866995065,83.51876385467979,72.64532019704433,7.636576354679804,26.973214285714285,8.278499904357787,1.7288130541871922,812,29,162,13,16,265,126,203,0.181,0.7020000000000001,0.117,-0.9364,0,1,0,0,0,2,16.0,0,0,2,2,10,11,0,2,10,0,15,4,1,3,4,35,33,18,3,1,5,0,5,1,1,1,2,0,0,3,3,12,0,1,8,0,1,0,4,5,1,3,12,5,27,5,20,20,1,29,0,1,0,1,8,7,0,2,23,106,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.10717338273235856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735325891063544,0.0,0.10997389914863452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827664387333624,0.0,0.0,0.07468478360599398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533459972424944,0.0916993091503112,0.13389663273977667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514945004488315,0.11868183683680017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398103764709536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706151159488429,0.0972723750659303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353326014917176,0.0,0.1665924987549432,0.07845902037705532,0.210898495267769,0.0,0.0,0.093417110843075,0.0,0.0,0.08485054250190067,0.0,0.11475808624157653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783710584093174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673886677783273,0.0,0.0,0.0736133997829202,0.11603616957218678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775726636358574,0.05365496013054672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991213736416282,0.0,0.07330905752816347,0.11134533844385618,0.0,0.0,0.12199084538627047,0.0,0.11067779488671192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940766079322586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053800742543832,0.0,0.11524289002138492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840995300184555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114878938996037,0.0,0.09998057875067548,0.11457145385965865,0.1240710187055564,0.0,0.18169679248789908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554694370579794,0.0,0.0,0.09181863920962983,0.0,0.1148129625378876,0.0,0.24026150580888625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257475151003295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296286712019685,0.0,0.0,0.08718880291239425,0.0640398557346318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456398341555602,0.0,0.2145661840163986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17619002230992306,0.0,0.09874588765140237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995392679362967,0.0,0.0,0.07801654729584226,0.0,0.0,0.21217114758480846
mentalhealth,AshleyAurora,2019/01/31,"Becoming panicky when hearing specific names/usernames Hello there! I’ve never posted here on this subreddit before so if I do anything wrong please inform me and I’ll correct myself. Its 3 in the morning and I guess I just needed to ask.

This is not something that’s happened until recently but sometimes when I hear specific names or usernames of people I begin to panic. 

For example, around 6 months ago an acquaintance of mine named Taylor began to separate me and this girl (his best friend) I was in somewhat of a relationship with (and my first relationship nonetheless) until finally he asked her out himself and they started dating which cut me out completely. Now whenever I hear/read the name Taylor I immediately grow tense. The back of my neck begins to tingle, I can feel myself sweat and there’s a sudden “thud” of heaviness in the center of my chest along with the urge of wanting to run away or barricade myself of some kind and can on occasion grow hateful. After several minutes it slowly goes away and is replaced by an overwhelming sadness or a hollow feeling depression/ lack of motivation or energy.

The same goes for a “cam girl” that I knew my ‘girlfriend’ was into. I remember her telling me that she had gotten off to her videos because the cam girl would just post videos of her mashing her boobs together and immediately I felt myself grow tense and emotional with the same symptoms. I actually only decided to post this because I had been scrolling through another subreddit only to find a post of hers with the same username and got to the point where I began to cry. 

I don’t mean to sound whiny or pathetic or anything like that, honestly I just want to know why this happens or if it’s even normal? Before 8 months ago I’ve never experienced anything similar to this that I can remember... if I did take up your time however I deeply apologize. ",6.178856255969436,7.554040518624648,6.851450573065902,71.84139744508118,66.44985673352436,10.17196752626552,34.02590735434575,10.317481424215053,3.857312225405922,1507,68,249,38,24,496,197,349,0.105,0.8059999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.8177,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,1,3,14,12,2,2,17,0,14,6,4,1,3,65,39,27,0,9,15,0,3,1,2,1,2,3,0,3,15,20,0,0,12,2,0,4,4,7,0,1,12,7,44,5,49,26,7,48,0,3,0,1,30,16,1,13,25,185,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0948912828127233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723930959070155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196361903829758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24005835073172174,0.0865633675609077,0.18181076497412674,0.0,0.18271857083592244,0.07477082481024935,0.0,0.11855204082445482,0.10739288754863148,0.1654865337298068,0.0,0.10204638048400863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019532905593312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681252695763913,0.0,0.0,0.08375184855577676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938083967482992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642254733531902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983339675754563,0.0,0.0933647340833134,0.10652062280394214,0.08887472717604321,0.08271148356579144,0.0,0.0,0.07512664637513458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777094871230941,0.0,0.10711977291910488,0.0,0.17197633596387507,0.0,0.0,0.09600342729045314,0.0,0.0,0.3287864187151786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125950373407204,0.053440037121382684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475060865510581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592182860995154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523055894290227,0.0,0.0,0.07210152111886986,0.14999349503706874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527362009669764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790935375909384,0.0,0.11408907014130565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741331153963326,0.0,0.0,0.10673927309036768,0.09192232969943873,0.0,0.3725125100622784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726536110503084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601182774648152,0.20879669121317035,0.22030576889622566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985244493264436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748593689258755,0.0961719037187468,0.0,0.06882629783854613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106860183071432,0.07311166167346418,0.0,0.08499121292087157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05670087018692365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470821840373666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877431152050569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907582894914799,0.10631563287601993,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InterestingStruggle,2019/01/31,"Final year uni is too much I’ve only recently come to terms with my mental health even though I feel like I’ve been suffering for years. It’s only been this year that I’ve actively sought help. I feel like it’s beginning to be disruptive towards my education, I struggle to make it into my classes which in turn just makes me feel even worse about myself. Even though I’ve talked to my personal tutor about it and I’ve been going to counselling, I still feel like they don’t get it and that all the meeting are just part of some procedure they have to go though...they don’t really care.

I feel like I was doing well up until now. Today I’m having a bad day, I feel very alone and inadequate like I’m not trying hard enough especially since it’s my final year at uni. I am frustrated that I even feel this way about myself because I just want to be able to get on with my day but instead I’m unable to get out of bed. ",3.788834134615385,4.4597014010416665,5.042916666666667,85.21298076923081,71.44791666666666,8.407692307692308,24.14423076923077,8.617729084823388,1.3458216346153848,727,18,157,12,13,242,107,192,0.085,0.8140000000000001,0.101,-0.0345,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,17,11,1,1,2,0,14,1,0,2,1,25,36,7,0,1,5,0,8,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,12,8,0,0,7,0,0,3,3,4,1,0,4,8,21,7,25,30,6,26,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,1,20,98,33,2,0.10806598114041116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192376546677968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023058033319553,0.0658760190710215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018046999274604,0.0,0.0,0.09308927393655428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938723552000626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116610463756939,0.0,0.28550624539479985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824898495881149,0.30880943407725503,0.0,0.2367620002317864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693800446609342,0.0,0.12283277492721666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680589277990446,0.0,0.0,0.11486908455915773,0.0,0.0,0.07243434922530033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639778988082631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426976311464082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890509159950966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944093036935745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643780965937891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702492662208032,0.0,0.0,0.09435904643260087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922983470614277,0.0,0.10670211919905062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939329632238399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630163213325097,0.0,0.0,0.11297402712801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685934217405117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185228333684963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243391429759784,0.0,0.0,0.07336970755703402,0.11754475555310305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891657520259411,0.0637401155696402,0.08577774577187743,0.0,0.0,0.09716429524782652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012846711713467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783637950882333
mentalhealth,P_sear,2019/01/31,Weird day?!?! Yesterday I had a breakdown and forgot I had lit a candle but cause I was having a breakdown I left the house to clear my head got a phonecall saying my room was on fire went home to see what had happened I opened the door and my family started beefing me then my dad said he's gonna knock me out and I had a crazy panic attack and broke my car windscreen. It was so weird one minute I was at my house the next minute I was 20 mins away with a broken windscreen.,0.5086318631863165,2.6332998811881225,1.893879387938796,97.83822682268229,84.84158415841584,4.4648064806480665,18.09270927092709,5.565023196281405,-0.5528693069306927,372,9,85,2,11,119,65,101,0.259,0.7090000000000001,0.032,-0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,1,9,0,10,1,1,1,1,11,18,7,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,1,13,5,16,0,7,4,0,15,0,1,2,0,4,7,0,0,6,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24811564606870976,0.20490833883157472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22404463382795226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065385509384112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056014661935752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443126702545242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928615419849288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238293812514192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21876803581632145,0.0,0.0,0.5033069240362713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23696190461448466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319475335134624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477874705649012,0.0,0.0,0.2558886240686148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20745920662777598,0.17343866546634293,0.0,0.0,0.17379424749325886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543694468876726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021771449931145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BigFootsSaucyToes,2019/01/31,"I think I have an anxiety disorder, its ruining my life and my dad wont get me a therapist. [Vent and seeking advice] I hate to self diagnose or assume what I may have, but im pretty sure at this point i have some type of anxiety disorder. Whatever im going through is ruining my relationships and preventing me from doing basic shit like returning calls, leaving my house, and talking to my family. I feel like im constantly nervously obsessing over one thing or another.  Im currently in online school because my anxiety got so bad in public school I would uncontrollably throw up and was constantly sick to my stomach. Once i left in 2017 i cut off all of my friends from my old school and my first girlfriend without any explanation because talking to them became so incredibly stressful and I still feel like a fucking awful person for it. (A big part of cutting them off is that im in the closet and if my family found out i had a girlfriend i dont know how they would react so i became paranoid theyd find out). Over the rest of the year I was unmotivated, numb and miserable and when i wasnt that i was overwhelmingly anxious so in October of 2017 i asked my dad if i could see a therapist again and a week after i asked I was dropped from medicaid. Since then he tried getting me insurance again and i no longer qualified for the options he could afford so he said he would pay out of pocket for the sessions. he tried making an appointment once and gave up when they never called him back. Since then i have repeatedly asked but he always says ""okay, well we'll see"" and then nothing happens. I continued to feel unhappy and miserable for the first half of 2018. around august i started to feel better and finally thought id be done with feeling like shit for good other than being anxious. Now im starting to fail online school because I havent returned my teachers calls in weeks. I begin to panic, hyperventilate, and feel like im choking when i even think about calling them back. Ive also stopped talking to most of the few friends i do have because even just keeping a conversation going and returning their text has become exhausting while the friends i do gather the energy to consistently talk too im paranoid ill loose. Over the past two/three months things have gotten worse and I feel just as miserable as i did back in the end of 2017. I feel as if im back where i started and things are just going to get even more worse again. I dont know what to do at this point. Ive tried talking to my dad about how ive been feeling and he agrees that he thinks i may have an anxiety disorder but still doesn't take me seriously or make much of an effort to get me any kind of help. Im tired of feeling like shit all the time.",5.4820344491387685,5.974274014732965,6.3501316217094566,77.98065404614886,67.60036832412523,9.924146896327592,32.36101180803813,9.916854025145753,3.0782473621492796,2182,89,424,48,34,723,248,543,0.234,0.66,0.106,-0.9977,2,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,1,0,7,5,33,38,7,9,23,2,43,12,4,5,4,80,87,48,0,8,13,3,10,6,5,7,7,2,1,2,13,26,0,3,19,0,1,4,9,23,1,4,15,14,66,15,64,60,9,74,0,7,2,1,47,25,4,12,50,283,79,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844312030013852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03964429454341597,0.04124952332297747,0.0,0.0,0.06742401383049146,0.05198264131461953,0.15169583851972746,0.1120089752860343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044131353215445535,0.13903494018641324,0.0,0.0,0.15247732489564025,0.041392203270043934,0.12087935429163366,0.054750566975118486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04384415743989667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024823084426245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714372355321826,0.0,0.07916157961099511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050316546998362736,0.0,0.0,0.17044823069067255,0.0,0.0,0.050731394087453134,0.11620067260387068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04390783266086663,0.0,0.0,0.0982294403455773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346787427329953,0.0,0.25066094229150643,0.17707830898116267,0.0,0.05430587282065207,0.04530972035223338,0.08433520550473335,0.0,0.05435531118294409,0.11490220380139868,0.04583034643464376,0.10360143553113008,0.0,0.08452210718199943,0.041580303082096134,0.03964884112333436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043838107509968006,0.0,0.0,0.04894404271722979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033228394362481414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057201717925021975,0.0,0.0,0.5354840621294852,0.0,0.0,0.04406363193102888,0.0,0.05162367236423397,0.05448912676348587,0.0,0.0,0.05249168776035835,0.05386227520190797,0.0,0.035015568723106974,0.14531605767253405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618203427829836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03956947851942154,0.0,0.03644257995091405,0.0,0.038234510139883965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04756757160514495,0.0,0.05201955361924657,0.10558934328653673,0.03359261238177102,0.0,0.0,0.058164385170032126,0.0,0.0536837902683982,0.04732397409628874,0.0,0.04328608788598055,0.0,0.0,0.0937268711848167,0.0,0.0,0.050434560651891065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322390284586168,0.0,0.0,0.04715620807797862,0.0394232192942493,0.0,0.2006860608342076,0.07900808868176366,0.0,0.05171647366862802,0.0,0.15266093671359832,0.08201621841933568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526615632024114,0.0,0.07917969022486436,0.041446067733335,0.056786827525208375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04672289022974941,0.0,0.037273464011315836,0.19922843973153126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511842527000545,0.0988042501624717,0.09529501558089687,0.0,0.039356203295991495,0.028906986873882805,0.05697799831426757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097243654589973,0.0,0.048426575870524326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953051429920352,0.0,0.04457296234421953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477875484495046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104024333873747,0.1056478008619394,0.0,0.0,0.0319240182950316
mentalhealth,BoardReborn,2019/01/31,Inhibiting intrusive thoughts Im scared of my own thoughts as everytime in not fully focused on something some part of my Mind begins to wander into a rabbit hole of associations where I make myself relive scenarios that while inconsequential I hate them. It exhausts me finding things to keep myself away from this but when it happens I know it's happening but I can't stop it. It exhausts me and it's gotten to a point where I often contemplate suicide daily as a side effect from it. I don't want to tell my parents about it cause I don't know how they will react although I doubt they will be happy. I'm in high school but our counselors only deal with acedemics. What do,4.052272727272726,6.054791196969699,5.002121212121214,80.57318181818181,72.63636363636363,7.2242424242424255,27.90909090909091,8.00094639256281,1.9398090909090904,546,21,98,8,11,178,89,132,0.168,0.777,0.056,-0.8968,1,0,1,0,0,1,5.0,1,0,3,1,6,6,1,2,3,0,7,2,0,5,0,24,20,10,1,1,4,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,12,3,0,2,6,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,19,1,18,14,3,14,0,0,0,0,7,10,0,3,4,74,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986598021112146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19666358091765865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973682072856719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497444125556014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385829048437168,0.20379347744332196,0.0,0.1890092558651914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022688931727706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20679011886187,0.0,0.0,0.17016236950671004,0.0,0.0,0.2104229387386712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778896425511466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19330175932000024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560020240177265,0.0,0.0,0.212573590022466,0.207312937128526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18097448835155736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19166675335984534,0.1937494376993764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473813385058659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005401241729206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20940638178233675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732867109684366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127185501120261,0.0,0.0,0.3039669911057797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291740104505688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ibuproken,2019/01/31,"Is it bad I'm on 5 meds? I have bipolar I and take meds for a wide range of things. I'm on lamictal (mood stabilizer), abilify (antipsychotic for bipolar & tics), prazosin (nightmares), and now evekeo (adhd). I also am starting xanax for anxiety but only when I need it. I feel disgusting that I have to take so many meds, but without them I'm a disaster. Eventually I want to wean myself off of the last 3 and just stick to lamictal and abilify, since my mood instability and tics are my worst problems. I feel ashamed for even starting all of them in the first place. It's all really helping me be functional, but it's embarassing at the same time. I wish my head weren't so fucked up.",3.9675735294117658,5.240425316176474,5.505176470588236,79.81629411764708,71.57352941176471,9.55764705882353,30.511764705882353,9.888512548439397,2.9634788235294125,537,23,109,14,10,182,86,136,0.147,0.7240000000000001,0.128,-0.4109,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,1,7,8,2,1,5,0,7,5,1,0,2,19,20,12,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,1,3,16,0,17,18,4,15,0,0,0,1,3,8,1,0,7,71,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20686157718336548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764881676834606,0.0,0.1864980653236588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316756479173521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371772455975393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368736570301023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17406379663877633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464099863970185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159127385957226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665057085283925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115372192134698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030537464046552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450838866469687,0.0,0.0,0.5735783686427931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762898537324846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090930991846678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983466479701604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470099696558296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110268096236042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423841129127963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24366283606273886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588341286989677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143526307562677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036784827058816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152416552145667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979359980238244,0.1659229802444993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tjalahd,2019/01/31,"FDIA (MSP) Trying to find information on the disorder. 
All the info I can seem to find is describing physical abuse. 
Anyone have any info describing it in a mental illness way?",3.17625,6.225134125000004,5.598750000000003,69.17125000000001,82.75,9.45,26.75,9.516144504307137,3.771975,140,6,21,5,4,49,27,32,0.262,0.738,0.0,-0.8625,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,13,2,0,0.0,0.3757032046144794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156340280902168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217187104750196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634159055662609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5796342849452184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195550362369809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28866944357148816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21528524711502345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516935641472087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PEIFella,2019/01/31,"Should my heart rate actually be high during a panic attack? I just admitted myself to the hospital, I'm dizzy parched and my chest feels odd. My heart rate is also above what it should be. Is this likely a panic attack?",3.004069767441859,5.2397763255813965,4.518779069767444,81.8121220930233,76.44186046511628,7.090697674418602,20.05232558139535,8.07648339933343,1.0454232558139536,174,4,32,3,4,58,32,43,0.342,0.63,0.028,-0.9429,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,2,3,0,6,3,3,0,0,6,9,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,5,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.22097231214264768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18108360636233045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5152152992032939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144946276055361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5366638548670445,0.0,0.2392457905949889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062691403122762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5313559870211538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aethetic,2019/01/31,"My confession, my thoughts, my feelings. I’m so tired of making alt accounts so my boyfriend doesn’t see my posts and cries for help. I’m so tired of hiding away my feelings just so I can make other people happy. 

I got diagnosed with schizophrenia along with several other things. I wish I was surprised. I got diagnosed right after I found out I got cheated on. This wasn’t the first time. But, god I hope it’s the last. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. I don’t want to keep living like this. Everyone keeps saying, “You’re too young to know what you’re feeling” and “It’s just hormones”. But these people have NEVER been cheated on or felt the pain of being told that your only father figure you’ve ever had is leaving. I just don’t understand why all of this happened. Everything that’s happened scarred me beyond recognition. I can’t trust even my own mom anymore. I need help. I’m breaking and I don’t know what to do.",1.6840957446808495,4.03932836702128,2.8887659574468114,91.09400000000002,81.81914893617022,5.4621276595744686,23.229787234042554,6.742157984588678,0.7395523404255324,735,26,148,8,20,236,110,188,0.119,0.736,0.145,0.191,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,1,11,8,2,0,3,0,16,5,0,2,3,36,44,10,0,4,6,2,4,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,15,7,0,2,12,0,1,0,8,3,0,1,12,6,24,5,18,31,2,15,1,0,1,0,8,6,0,2,8,96,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792473427138096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119159680061488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169091451496912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618469610476155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519755419866946,0.11668003915273847,0.0,0.12325673968175772,0.11592908629373028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19566567036435864,0.0,0.123851901387541,0.0,0.0,0.10971995589969202,0.0,0.14143233090413085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094984406683148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281332069535155,0.13731366498498726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729203334360482,0.0,0.0,0.128117491737733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22930683447407516,0.0,0.0,0.21267077786987248,0.10514514683648067,0.0,0.13658318923154042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301864622223781,0.0,0.11390170398414932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220542332013994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510730818782828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564543369809662,0.09948606258293743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810371590476284,0.1372558653027746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885268768749074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353803369880854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015788750630852,0.0,0.10257907967381782,0.0,0.0,0.10278938616442368,0.0,0.0,0.14572348232510818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569610524768796,0.0,0.0,0.10240470427911964,0.0752158794423614,0.29651310742075754,0.0,0.12325673968175772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428451936624666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608242605501737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639460829091128,0.0,0.1483336588478626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Forest-Paix,2019/01/31,You are in control Just wanted to pop in and remind everyone that we are in control- even in the most insane times and moments where everything seems awful and the pain is too much to bear. Mental illness does not define you and it tricks you into thinking it is in control. You are your own person and you have the power.  Have a good day. ,5.855298507462687,6.0399541940298525,6.088768656716423,81.24270522388062,66.76119402985074,7.894029850746268,28.690298507462693,7.1686216300943375,1.611570149253731,269,8,50,2,4,86,46,67,0.177,0.785,0.038,-0.8622,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,6,0,4,4,3,1,0,4,1,7,2,0,3,0,16,10,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,8,10,3,10,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,3,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7388069216707933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416059508131374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921491750804358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14502541495780194,0.0,0.0,0.20981071565751416,0.1973374001584852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18416680439196872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22127720643583496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614108843821426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336403786253048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917220387944577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998903500601242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069304609096264,0.0,0.0,0.1280343576777797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950941506954075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-NotDeadYet-,2019/01/31,How do I tell my parents that I’m not ok. I’m 15 and I started hearing voices a couple months ago. I’m also suicidal but I don’t know why. About 1 and a half years ago I got really drunk and had to get picked up by my mom. I told her about the times I had tried to kill myself and how I felt about it. I’ve never been to a psychiatrist or anything but I don’t know if I should see one. I feel like it’s not even too big a deal and that I shouldn’t tell them. The voices tell me how I should hurt myself and other people. I’m doubting if I even heard any voices or if I’m just making it up and believing my own lies. Idk I feel like I’d be an attention whore if I told anyone. Also I get really angry for no reason sometimes and want to fucking burn them all the stupid fucking stupid cunts I’m so fucking angry I don’t know why help ,-0.248163493840984,1.4757126382978747,2.454053751399776,95.09184210526315,84.85106382978724,5.234490481522959,16.809630459126538,6.339386263674448,-0.4369829787234041,648,13,157,6,19,226,98,188,0.29600000000000004,0.648,0.056,-0.995,1,0,0,0,0,3,10.0,0,0,2,0,13,13,7,1,8,1,11,5,0,6,2,39,37,22,2,8,11,2,3,2,0,3,0,5,0,0,6,8,1,0,8,1,0,0,8,10,0,2,8,9,26,3,11,25,2,10,0,1,1,4,14,3,4,7,9,96,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22815065731152995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058256255285684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751315909474612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998257351091363,0.0,0.10590035566564568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498880930257074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239229878156615,0.0,0.0,0.13267305115291475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16999618093265176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013838646120654,0.18387136980669005,0.12356194045214837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569136428737953,0.13446972962591106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029246152527191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504223066533933,0.0,0.0862577469688326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776459213525466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237567958091218,0.0,0.21217287499562545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574221509158787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590112878138108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507193909648345,0.10271859749175173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099253146725838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872032222574263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289427446634545,0.0,0.0,0.0892169797078769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648833634496372,0.13231406706290091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254873659645776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727704049220187,0.0,0.09108697195537983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407652427107578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374404466416676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503978471539198,0.0,0.0,0.2459363442669822,0.0,0.08737160942727648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590430257706753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322442126034164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287171093137287
mentalhealth,What-Am-IDoing,2019/01/31,"How do you stop yourself from feeling too much? With everything going on in the world right now, I find my emotions getting caught up in it all. I’ve always been the kind of person who feels for others too much. If something happens to someone else, I almost literally feel their pain like it’s my own. Is anyone else like this? How do you change it/fix it/stop it/control it?",1.8463000000000036,4.249031413333333,2.855583333333332,91.287375,81.53333333333333,4.816666666666666,22.708333333333336,5.985473137389443,0.3654333333333337,296,10,59,2,8,94,57,75,0.073,0.8340000000000001,0.093,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,2,1,11,11,3,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,3,7,3,9,9,4,10,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,4,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966822497540648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16343384488455912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733863269347954,0.20125140130871275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077820820406657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202972433362029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281607255392163,0.22094156086728475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17652603401603748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29794149067124626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952066378630688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261925217800424,0.0,0.11162773806571648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17369001834806128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20453703659765132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191787052449175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887767168729027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090004702180476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715028733259576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16773818908400315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16642263770225033,0.15121063126953513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284251384903454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrimAutoZero,2019/01/31,"I cannot get my own, and my loved ones mortality out of thought for more than a day at a time, if that. Not sure if this is the correct sub to post this, if It is not please remove the post mods and direct me to the correct one if possible.

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(Note this beginning is going to sound strange so bear with me) About a year ago I made an observation that at any given point in time we experience THAT as the present. I thought about this a lot, as in like ""Woah I experienced last night as the present but now its already this morning."" I know that is strange but I found it interesting. At some point I began using it to get through difficult things, like if I knew something I would not enjoy was going to happen(lets say a presentation in class in front of a lot of people for example) I would realize that from my future self's perspective It was already over and I was at home comfortable etc. This was not something that was on my mind often, but it was there. This is where other parts of my personality began to conflict with that view. I am Christian, and although from my beliefs I  should not be afraid of death necessarily, it petrifies me.  Although I consider myself Christian, small doubts have made this fear worse as I question if I would just cease to exist.(Note I do not wish to convert from Christianity, nor do I wish to change my religious beliefs). This slowly spread to the fear of death from my mother and father, as they are rather old for my age, each with certain health issues, especially my father. Once I moved to college(In my second semester of freshman year currently) It got worse again. I would fear waking up one morning to get a call that my father or mother was dead. That stayed with me most nights for a while, and still does sometimes. 

​

This fear has started to warp how I experience life, since I start thinking how easy it is for me, my girlfriend, parents to just suddenly die in a freak accident. If I do not hear from any of those people via text for more than a couple hours my mind starts racing thinking how they are dead etc. Back to the initial statement, that thinking about how the future is the present in a way compounded with these fears, and now It terrorizes me that the day I'm at my mother, or fathers funeral is already here, or what scares me more is I am on my own death bed dying, or already dead. I get that the chances of me living a long life are pretty good, but with that warped view on experience/time its as if I am about to die any second. Most nights when I go to sleep I let my thoughts wander as I drift to sleep, but ever since I have been afflicted with this I spend nights thinking about these fears and emotions, scared, sometimes crying, and overall furthering this crisis.  A day does not go by that I do not think about myself or my loved ones dying and its started to impact me. 

​

I am unsure how I am supposed to tackle this. The college only offers three free therapy sessions so even if those could help I would only be able to get limited help. The only person I discuss this with, even a little bit with is my girlfriend but I don't think there is anything she can do. 

​

(Another note, I don't have my license to drive. At first it was laziness and lack of a reason, but now its out of fear since I always remember how likely it is to die in an accident, or how easy it is to mess up driving, make one small mistake, and either kill me or my passengers.)",6.490831392640892,6.2597798421828905,6.510013972985562,80.16774103400094,65.47492625368731,9.319732960720383,32.59136780003105,8.766177420268882,2.487197050147492,2735,100,537,37,38,870,280,678,0.231,0.7020000000000001,0.067,-0.9993,2,0,2,0,0,1,88.0,1,0,2,2,33,29,1,12,30,0,53,8,3,12,5,118,93,56,14,21,36,8,0,3,2,6,3,3,2,3,51,25,0,2,19,0,2,10,13,17,0,9,20,6,76,13,93,63,17,84,5,0,2,2,27,28,0,24,45,403,127,3,0.05016444480897368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04446775357375396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22143084905857804,0.0,0.04174083667095347,0.21741261996815725,0.24382116486002325,0.10234062804663853,0.05260179430072676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04128106379007874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038573361591717786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476658125410324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051223506871128296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530673310398848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04005222726194062,0.05550600403813992,0.055103287081799665,0.09705575070243838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260313868836398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779848740912187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056428248460415185,0.0,0.0,0.11189323266825406,0.06626628536836064,0.04537661229838222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814090565088864,0.0,0.39514262869145067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0426698511279945,0.0,0.05500272448051046,0.0,0.0,0.13104425975791714,0.0,0.11403844010009605,0.042075556269803686,0.0401210891229815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044360252873952295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053322459036744686,0.05653897514051075,0.0,0.06724833986868252,0.0,0.05031902830222232,0.0,0.04940187327893855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05235864724864156,0.0,0.0,0.05549952570029088,0.0,0.02756906695344293,0.04089071787857276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259308712459132,0.07086526181492153,0.07352344148904788,0.05027795237110263,0.04429612382155716,0.04439395507292351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529603415813393,0.09055073998157427,0.09493362120756657,0.03348515644328776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013035779626628,0.0,0.0,0.053316865937630485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18830373288213947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263914625911236,0.05342349653118892,0.16996363034298226,0.11445696232104607,0.0,0.0,0.055701679398569,0.054323205238658384,0.0,0.06955541947577785,0.08760331654871756,0.0,0.05506549630020238,0.09484322985195982,0.05655287417578194,0.09608734278735022,0.05103527481417513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056195658858575866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051577404140109764,0.0,0.0,0.05682653699448464,0.0,0.0,0.03989277996547918,0.10044672102387116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233245639465125,0.0,0.0,0.12448964139315635,0.0,0.10040134594215397,0.0,0.0,0.07723808085395839,0.09922783723521474,0.0,0.14202660892308808,0.05346862357459999,0.040061390424501415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04727939556063905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736741451377706,0.0,0.033327028097885486,0.1928601040925224,0.0,0.1194748972663942,0.05850258235978295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043325973867176654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03981820132665617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153732716789542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224370985752296,0.17817691152030024,0.0,0.24382116486002325,0.06460851550210155
mentalhealth,Lunariiis,2019/01/31,"I don’t want to eat. Vent. Have major depression and GAD with a history of starving myself as a self-harm method. Typically in depressive modes during the school year I barely eat or get enough sleep. 

For about a year now I’ve become more conscious about my weight. I looked at old photos of myself between 120-125lbs and I felt horrified. I thought I looked fat despite being at a healthy bmi (I’m 5’2”). I remember freaking out because my clothes started getting snug and I was scared to go above a size 6. It was awful enough being a size 6. I’ve started feeling a lot more sick and haven’t been able to eat very much. Because of my schedule (in college) on Monday and Wednesday I don’t have time for a meal until after 3 and I don’t really like or eat breakfast but have at least tried to eat a granola bar or donut in order to take my meds in the morning. Whenever I do eat it’s usually junk food. The dorm’s cafeteria food being just “okay” has made it worse for me to eat a full meal. Now when I try to eat I can’t finish, even when my portions were small. A lot of times I don’t want to eat because I feel sick. I’ve also gotten scared of gaining weight. Last time I weighed myself I was 104. (2-3 weeks ago) But now I look in the mirror and I can see my ribs more and I’m worried I’ve lost more weight. My mom keeps pointing it out ever since I started losing weight (I actually had gained weight during that time BECAUSE I was starving myself) and now I think my friends are starting to notice my eating habits. One in particular questioned me about having not eaten all day, and I unconsciously started saying “It’s fine, I’m used to it” but cut myself off too late. I ended up making it more obvious after I started stuttering and panicking because I realized what I had just implicated. It wasn’t the first time I’d told him I hadn’t eaten all day. He didn’t press further but I started realizing that it’s a lot worse than I thought. I’m not restricting because I want to punish myself, but because I just... dont want to eat as much anymore.

I don’t really think it’s anorexia. I’m eating, but it’s not a lot. I can’t eat much because I get nauseous easily. And I’ve been a lot more worried about my weight and my body overall. Sometimes I just feel averse to food and get sick even thinking about eating. But I force myself to. 

Im getting out of a depressive episode right now, and while life is honestly going really great I’m still struggling with my own health, especially physically. My lack of sleep and exercise partnered with my struggle to eat i think contributes to this cycle of constantly feeling sick and anxious. I want to break out of it but I just feel... sick and confused and scared. I don’t know. I just really needed to vent. I have friends and my parents knew about my periods of unhealthy eating but nobody knows that I’m going through one right now. I’m scared to tell anyone in real life. I want to get better but I just feel overwhelmed.",2.27059523809524,4.317542459369818,3.775301764984601,87.17428171641792,77.97180762852405,6.429862591802891,25.36155531864487,7.447530270364453,1.2908749348495618,2345,88,471,32,56,775,252,603,0.183,0.728,0.08800000000000001,-0.9963,1,0,1,0,0,1,62.0,0,0,0,6,27,25,2,8,20,2,35,47,5,3,4,95,96,40,0,8,23,2,14,1,3,0,10,1,1,1,17,27,34,2,21,2,0,3,16,17,0,3,22,19,72,8,67,71,24,72,0,6,4,0,11,23,0,10,45,294,89,4,0.04152831723097164,0.0,0.040525647085648514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036812347549975984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03321018028584026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046915177905457364,0.04118493170140305,0.029037564989365595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20252221385676375,0.045864763667427436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036728421827890836,0.0,0.04612859855464145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04487735772169965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053564658124020566,0.0,0.1073048363369896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04867087850793079,0.0,0.0,0.6799013773287416,0.0,0.0,0.03678176280904608,0.0858197058370669,0.0,0.05485812373633799,0.03756474047644463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598778986978407,0.0,0.03987369705153203,0.0,0.0,0.03532396542191379,0.15064861811319366,0.0,0.06416934975440748,0.0,0.13018099041058975,0.0,0.07080449910842199,0.0,0.0,0.045785116354985014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04414265926486048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485770890446513,0.0,0.0,0.036912276465805034,0.0,0.0,0.04564575418164181,0.033851121253907795,0.046845750682713336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586653571969659,0.02028863812272453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461998190017363,0.04645956444930408,0.045333063935370316,0.17652945121547184,0.0,0.03929509787664867,0.02772047422434173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04612859855464145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486374632280124,0.0,0.0,0.09158427442256008,0.030792721023368518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047280264415294544,0.043576983119025504,0.0,0.056281325034007665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046112281739991566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039257682921645484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04652121950056814,0.0,0.0,0.04726831671452693,0.10641641364598964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04704348796106583,0.07092991201675891,0.0,0.03302498468667222,0.1663083608868739,0.04202887412878695,0.03309269214372732,0.0,0.043323091861355564,0.0,0.0,0.034352653155248894,0.0,0.08311661697004241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04107256761775298,0.0,0.2057576967681024,0.0,0.033164567784968214,0.0,0.0,0.08682882786834697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03122412629484306,0.0,0.0362975796945452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106438675366605,0.0,0.06593769024668525,0.12107747869630102,0.0,0.0,0.039682086771130935,0.0,0.05639000281898581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0358671324669986,0.04573757435344919,0.03426521091276834,0.1469668647865519,0.0,0.03331151113320534,0.3034218155611417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843480439610822,0.0846418062435147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053485749474764616
mentalhealth,interestingAsian,2019/01/31,"I am very emotionless, not exactly sure what to call it... I am a senior in HS with strong academics and a strong interest in Computer Science and have a programming job.  


I have had pretty bad relations with my parents due to 3 divorces and a below average living arrangement. I am not some rebellious kid that is venting that my parents are dumb, but I know for a fact that they are average / below average intelligence and I don't resent them for it.  I am extremely ambitious and want to be successful so badly to the point where I think something is ""wrong"".   


When we argue (almost never now but when it happened in the past) we threw insults back and forth and got extremely angry to the point of yelling and one time even hitting me repeatedly and forcing me to go stay at a friends house for a few nights. Obviously this is partly due to my immaturity during that time and my lack of self awareness to know that the argument was pointless and I should have just listened.

Now, about 1.5 years later I feel like I lack emotion. Don't get me wrong I have friends and love to shop and travel, and with my job I have a lot of freedom to eat out more and get into fashion.  


When I argue with my parents now I don't feel anything like anger or the urge to cry like I used to, in fact I keep a level voice to the point where I sound cold. I ""love"" money, not obsessively but to the point where I without thought reject going out with friends almost 95% of the time in order to work. For example I have skipped every single one of my high-school dances / sports events even though I have a pretty large group of friends. I tell myself things like I won't help my parents even in the future because they didn't help me (in fact they are in debt and leverage money and are super cheap with things, for example not paying for small things that are necessities and telling me to ""see how it feels to pay for me""). 

​

Idk how to explain it except for saying that I have become extremely un reactive to things that happen even when I feel I should. I view things extremely logically and without emotion.  


When I heard my dad had a stroke I felt nothing at all literally 0/10... I asked if he was ok, recovery time, things like that.

A relatively close family member passed away and I felt nothing...

I just in general lack compassion and empathy  


Is this a common thing to happen and would seeing a therapist / psychiatrist benefit me????",6.840979170083648,6.592383818763331,7.1447867803837966,75.96647326554046,64.75692963752664,10.456322781695915,33.81671313760866,10.035473477838034,3.224335673281942,1917,74,363,38,26,624,223,469,0.113,0.696,0.191,0.9924,7,0,1,0,2,0,58.0,2,0,4,6,23,31,6,1,23,1,34,4,0,3,8,84,65,36,0,8,14,5,7,5,4,4,1,6,0,2,24,34,1,1,12,4,7,6,12,12,0,2,11,17,56,19,61,48,10,60,0,1,3,2,35,27,1,6,30,264,80,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859974556780248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803949017860215,0.09016026118974084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061059695053800385,0.0,0.06936632176914771,0.0,0.06971267724222542,0.057054675431022175,0.1239066188792916,0.04523119965634899,0.08194728837400128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576577301985697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150443803449978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592439949904267,0.0,0.1669284328976572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19603173006954613,0.0,0.06251610362469517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994848884633302,0.0,0.15006956571898775,0.053007988967326766,0.14248591247576944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293047554862295,0.0,0.07753213512189061,0.0,0.08433833503336742,0.0,0.05934395197597511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684256637136188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946844262872252,0.07839562572835918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561602067829377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726269616728896,0.06595173990250827,0.0,0.0,0.08155598071092345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18125013038488835,0.0,0.06551933415193864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630815845914065,0.13393551576787865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057227068163433675,0.0,0.0,0.06963100906110267,0.0,0.14239244351019184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055872098406073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32955813109434323,0.08035060247199037,0.07083161995445154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28056925674817346,0.0,0.0,0.15097471000199186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900625506956855,0.0,0.07509364472561965,0.11825445807758485,0.0,0.07740604372801257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057122239962926126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908657264777552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993195451408007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297069031937313,0.0,0.0,0.08615109681922735,0.3450629877510021,0.047543910220823785,0.07290042757271019,0.05890594963643213,0.17306481523408312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408436482381852,0.0,0.061222186605504415,0.043764664806792926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305093918964426,0.0,0.054017968220905786,0.0,0.0,0.05270904809227425,0.16225055541057898,0.09016026118974084,0.047781911271690264
mentalhealth,flower8215,2019/01/31,"i feel like the exception to everything. (help) whenever i look for advice or ways to get myself help or even listen to someone else's problems i never find myself relieved or relating to their experience. i have never had the fear of getting help or felt embarrassed relying on my family. i want to be free from this so bad that i have let go of my pride and i have made myself look so pathetic now that i cant do it anymore.

for an example the one thing everyone says is the first step is to tell someone. that you have people who care about you, you just need to tell them and they will help you. i don't have any friends only my family and i have been telling my family ever year that i need help and i am scared of myself since i was 12 and have gotten no help. im 18 now and feel so betrayed and embarrassed about how weak i am. i feel like sometimes i don't want to get better because they don't deserve to see me good after how bad they have treated me like i deserve this. i dropped out of school when i was 14 and have been home bound since. i leave the house 1-7 times a year and i am suffering. i have asked my parents so many times for help when i was minor that i stopped all together because of the reaction. it was always like i am hassling them i am unappreciative of what they do for me and i shouldn't ask for more or it was brushed off as a maybe and was ignored.  they are abusive parents and i know i need to get over it but i have siblings who i thought where there for me and have recently shown me they are not and it has hurt me a lot. i had a suicide attempt 2 weeks ago but i was too scared to make my siblings feel like it was their fault.  so i told them what i did and they all just yelled at me and blamed me and didn't call anyone. my dad didn't even get out of bed when they told him he just yelled at me and told me to get my shit together. i just had to push through the medication i took. i shook all night and didn't feel conscious for 2 days after. nothing has been said since than and i feel so lost. i do not want to be a burden and i know it is not their job but what is family for then. i feel thrown away now that i am an adult and now i know it is my responsibility but i just don't know what to do. what do i do where do i go i don't have any money and my health card (canada) that would cover my stay anywhere is expired. and if i do get help what after that i go home for my family to treat me so bad and make me feel worse i'm an adult but i don't feel like one i am so lost i need someone to help me please. my plan for my future feels like just to become a junkie and maybe laugh sometimes with people and one day my heart will stop and my family wont know where i went.  any real help is gladly appreciated i feel pathetic like this like a kid but i am one i haven't been anywhere since i was 14 i am ignorant to everything. ty.",2.3959294871794867,3.1538096826923057,3.9628717948717953,91.34879487179487,74.76923076923076,7.405641025641026,23.32179487179487,7.715138304826218,0.7497887179487184,2238,59,538,29,45,748,228,624,0.149,0.7240000000000001,0.126,-0.9716,3,0,0,0,0,1,33.0,0,4,14,7,34,40,1,6,17,0,77,5,2,5,6,101,132,55,1,11,22,3,12,9,1,5,3,5,3,3,28,31,0,5,20,0,2,8,19,20,0,5,32,21,111,21,55,92,5,50,0,4,3,0,51,11,1,7,37,376,139,2,0.0,0.06531674407031404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05386968370784035,0.04886695646866293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04587026518400438,0.0,0.0,0.112465204868871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054671391491266964,0.03854623567173796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030730226263476,0.0,0.05179384011916203,0.0,0.13808678410759964,0.0672100862016485,0.06088368601157446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875554834392522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629105766028848,0.0,0.056205877270505335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110499576947066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605172054200778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282202095198631,0.049865728751119484,0.0,0.05267642342553689,0.0990895857331841,0.053925001588879085,0.3118142344723676,0.0620334514767351,0.3066137803477839,0.19691449347673795,0.05293077860401599,0.0,0.05038528255700592,0.046891187209122775,0.0,0.0,0.04259115527492463,0.0,0.2016118888716053,0.0,0.09399021268663964,0.04623809865324165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859765954286076,0.0,0.06532602396765709,0.3695061514072495,0.0,0.11059419772630233,0.0,0.0,0.06360941312356433,0.05901483174430786,0.0,0.05954686006760473,0.0,0.05470526195905006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148239863984408,0.0,0.0,0.058371768775867514,0.0,0.05637131988450835,0.0,0.2423913865164662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258596533545302,0.0,0.1203557506846531,0.04686719311379015,0.0,0.052162710752503824,0.07359569803977276,0.055890350950850834,0.1107654090001544,0.0,0.0,0.055534876887022314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635045475714697,0.0850350247960338,0.0,0.0,0.051733163799111984,0.0,0.052896056679319216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942253039971182,0.041926736760689316,0.0,0.0,0.12242451320985415,0.0,0.0,0.07643654969088844,0.0,0.0,0.06051313579770173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05274930673990954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274684797267886,0.0,0.0,0.05443148151936105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052438612506439865,0.04383937989477458,0.1103839332821747,0.055791692167691864,0.043929258904854634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05658730159103492,0.18240723214314208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012734992710688,0.0,0.10904446510009434,0.0,0.0,0.058758284164853215,0.0,0.09217765271499656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060300233792048276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445508666169529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03662407700870488,0.0,0.0,0.04376485681271162,0.06429025340212476,0.0,0.0,0.1580292702766107,0.06124837247662055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097546392200475,0.0437574231777389,0.04421973258406847,0.0,0.0,0.05110348745801474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056179349272898166,0.03916079711353981,0.0,0.0,0.07100024761335383
mentalhealth,kuglle,2019/01/31,"I think I might be depressed Recently I have noticed some changes in my self, Im always tired even when I get a good night's sleep, I never can motivate myself to do anything other than sit around and it's come to a point where Im skipping most of my classes because I just don't want to go, that's the best I can explain it. My eating habits are terrible, I'm talking most days 1 meal  and it's a good day if I have 2, there have been days where I just don't eat but that far more rare. But the thing that really got me wondering is my mood, often but not all the time I feel this emptiness I guess you could call it where I'm not necessarily sad or ""depressed"" but I feel like I'm just going through the motions. On days where I feel like this I avoid everyone, I'm not talkative or sociable even to my mom or my girlfriend the people I'm closest with and I just feel really frustrated when people do try to talk with me. I have social anxiety and it's something I've been dealing with my whole life and I'm used to the things that come with that, and at first I just thought these symptoms where another offshoot of my anxiety but they slowly have been getting worse and more prominent in my day to day making me think it's something more than just that. I'm not here looking for a diagnosis, I just want some other people's take on my situation and maybe some advice on some steps I could take.",5.030427074939566,4.7878643150684965,5.858823529411764,83.65088235294121,68.52054794520548,9.199355358581787,30.190169218372283,8.841846274778883,2.1236524576954063,1108,38,240,17,17,365,141,292,0.121,0.809,0.07,-0.9132,0,1,2,1,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,3,20,12,1,1,10,0,20,7,1,3,2,63,51,19,0,5,20,1,4,2,1,1,3,0,0,1,19,15,3,1,10,0,0,6,7,6,0,1,5,5,35,5,24,42,12,35,0,3,1,0,11,15,0,14,15,162,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709037679027968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267286948144544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418433413290963,0.15201545676812692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176223264703536,0.08844867311200584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056702159990125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426889808027248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145446607412192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510638699875488,0.1711742799502162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158656741021764,0.0,0.0,0.3844617429928056,0.10243256319747793,0.17115184134267614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033337510106287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124854215227102,0.0,0.0,0.0949397406171392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095126146215087,0.14196112582217366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451289706783005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381972042067784,0.0,0.1129335900545512,0.16667164576858182,0.07946475991042759,0.0,0.10945278638897322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146449239240792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017869079838499,0.09708148928537674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343474140913315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632147769400415,0.0,0.09981732353840814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540193060332677,0.0,0.1163655573300774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663013804382224,0.0,0.0,0.09323968547968302,0.0,0.0,0.11311844726783482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20664461620805424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392435068516676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730110146710552,0.0,0.09810291589290968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365087722760324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168127710819133,0.09942861752233703,0.10128180971126323,0.0,0.1529795348323757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326982391162634,0.14940799200035165,0.15971856611241933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201657004917028,0.12732773214801074,0.0,0.07887825109877851,0.057935785929316475,0.1141960982449832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674567881461452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858124289868431,0.0,0.0,0.11720650430696213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092838950679007,0.0,0.0,0.10774827984301864,0.0,0.0,0.10125313187878522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChefSuperFune,2019/01/31,"I have a chance to get counseling but I am not confident it will help me or if its the best thing for me. I have recently moved to another country and the previous place I lived I was on waiting lists to get therapy for almost a year. 

Currently in Canada now where mental health is more of a thing people care about and I have access to income based counseling. But its a training facility and I am messed up. I have spoken with people in training in the past and they made things a lot worse. 

I just dont know what to to do. I have a life I want to live and the crap in my head is stopping me. I just dont want things to get worse. ",1.989491180461332,3.4029755746268653,3.7788195386702883,89.6674694708277,76.83582089552239,7.559294436906378,22.62957937584803,8.296473431620573,1.0833671641791045,493,14,112,9,11,166,77,134,0.14400000000000002,0.728,0.129,-0.4753,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,5,4,1,0,10,0,14,4,2,1,0,21,23,9,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,17,2,19,20,3,15,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,4,6,85,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371135328716734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096156476409348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610922134398607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650681613949094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35980938282370256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24059737183180355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753864264494535,0.1631667998729298,0.0,0.0,0.10289000743175368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436138376844159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842390056064434,0.0,0.0,0.2710924027625182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050299242430136,0.0,0.1452485074076696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469519370121612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314968498175028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14653624226770046,0.21283968171575127,0.0,0.1603782476096951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156596220981192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283356087140574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755443693387536,0.0,0.4079230119721177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18108041377613213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128658963963419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885107428892187
mentalhealth,fakesnek3,2019/01/31,"This article is so sad. But I relate to it so much. I always find myself crying when I go to bed, and I go to my two friends who always seem to comfort me. But how much longer can I do that for? It's been like this for years now, and it's never been as bad as it is now. When talking to one of my friends, I cried when she said something because my response was something I had said a lot when I was six. I imagined a tiny six-year-old going to bed, her parents talking her in, telling her to sleep tight, and the little girl responding ""don't let the bed bugs bite!"" and then giggling before closing her eyes and getting so much sleep. Now, I'm fucking sleep deprived and I can't help but yearn for the past, when everything seemed so trivial, when nothing really mattered for more than a few minutes.

When I read this article, I couldn't help but wonder if this is what my life will be like, because it's really accurate in describing my current lifestyle now.

Here is the article: https://thoughtcatalog.com/nade-marshall/2014/10/for-the-girls-who-cry-themselves-to-sleep/",7.050373134328357,7.531856686567168,6.441007462686567,78.71733208955227,64.22388059701493,8.690049751243782,32.670398009950254,8.344100000000001,2.350177114427861,858,32,160,10,12,264,110,201,0.078,0.846,0.075,-0.1418,2,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,0,17,11,1,0,7,0,17,6,4,1,1,24,28,26,0,3,5,1,1,2,2,1,1,2,3,1,12,7,0,1,5,1,0,3,4,5,0,3,7,4,24,6,17,17,6,23,0,3,1,1,18,4,1,5,18,116,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19921354272645053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995130598376596,0.14594595568034255,0.0,0.10186281969277504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629875659171164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758596741276072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941108144012406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849724412338657,0.11066825677159016,0.0625425681955876,0.0,0.2040987028939984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047570073068484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240969500951294,0.0845534073362975,0.11696671190323435,0.11997901589558993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177158928981556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26399779463885964,0.0,0.09232630592768364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486319955940565,0.0,0.1256135675362592,0.0,0.08111734127944806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292173532932205,0.0,0.1142749755166862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974054585941055,0.0,0.15337621383719538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277397292377171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21795560973664885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4791784117149453,0.0,0.0,0.1843143663075693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19243375483407474,0.10463020044113293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693746938288305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981838349657254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541762490883061
mentalhealth,butterfly90210,2019/01/31,"Holy shit, I just cut the fuck out of myself. I'm not going to say all the reasons why but they're there. My life is falling apart even though I try so hard to be kind to everyone but I just get shitted on. Everyday. So I thought I deserved a few cuts. Some relief. I'm staring at my arms right now wondering how the hell I'm going to hide this. This is awful. They're everywhere. Cutting usually makes me feel a little better but this time made it even worse. ",0.1834375000000001,2.4889788020833343,2.157083333333333,93.84625,89.10416666666666,5.283333333333333,20.5,6.816661863887847,0.4347875000000001,359,12,78,5,12,119,69,96,0.301,0.594,0.105,-0.963,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,7,0,5,1,3,5,3,4,1,16,15,7,0,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,7,0,0,2,4,9,3,8,12,3,13,1,0,1,1,1,6,4,2,4,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008692848518554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26898054733828136,0.0,0.0,0.1945693489358936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295729653457364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882450662244137,0.10638398250116513,0.0,0.2314459145040085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240513085451368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21204076292137228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382409398904686,0.0,0.20408252964009152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19267186361262645,0.13591912776997025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093571160474069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389189838702218,0.0,0.16192822232772258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41802968814580266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000573774740009,0.16165295862121482,0.11873350480084854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824583115126554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22426063717828035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373699655924575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208191482485886,0.0,0.0,0.20750800264793326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reddit_samsung,2019/01/31,"I feel strange everytime I play video games for a while.How do I play games but don't feel like that? Hi,

I suffer from organic disorder of the mood.
I got ill from this after drowning in water many years ago,and the break point for me was one night after I played GTA Vice City I felt like I am in a video game and suffered the first panic attack in my life.

After this I had many panic attacks.
I am diagnosticed with a organic disorder of the mood ,and I get a lot of anti depresants and other psychotropic drugs reccommendend from my psychiatrist.

I really like to play video games despite everything,but everytime I play video games for a  while  I feel like I am in a video game,like everything arround me is in a video game.

Is there a way I can play video games,but don't have that uncomfortable feeling?
I feel good while gaming,but the problems happen after the gaming.

Thanks to all in advance.",4.958970037453184,5.889116264044947,5.707359550561801,80.56343632958803,68.9438202247191,9.304119850187266,27.754681647940075,9.516144504307137,2.3213692883895143,717,23,141,15,12,234,86,178,0.275,0.5870000000000001,0.138,-0.9844,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,1,21,2,2,14,0,12,4,0,0,1,14,22,6,1,1,1,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,6,20,0,1,2,7,0,2,4,6,21,12,22,18,2,19,0,2,0,0,8,7,0,1,13,85,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076066212145526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33563283891392376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33812351487065023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710673163107131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257445087787334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729329948379074,0.210765485792766,0.1416348419673672,0.0,0.0,0.12547379927493515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706903450717603,0.0,0.0,0.12372623204009572,0.1179789793080858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304445484985516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041922270815889,0.2882680329874034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540959466676171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29910842928064696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843020398349498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995808222402372,0.0,0.0,0.3461475594253466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944670616888868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411492504179489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450009056098184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580941196102236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708831572351056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499301838721044
mentalhealth,johnnynix18,2019/02/01,"My bpd ex destroyed my life and I've never felt so helpless before I had some depression issues in the past due to my father dying when i was very young. Ive always been able to control it through my lifestyle choices. Id have my moments when there was a death in the family or something drastic happened but id always pull myself together after a few days. Now i dated this girl for a year,  around 9 months in things started falling apart. I ended the relationship when it started taking a toll on my personal life. I started suspecting something was up as her behaviour got worse I only found out she had bpd after I left her. To be honest I wasn't very educated on mental health and ignored some red flags. I've been severely depressed ever since. The lies, the manipulation and the mental torture she put me through has destroyed my self worth. I haven't worked in a month and for the first time in my life I woke up to a panic attack which I thought was a heart attack. I have good friends a good job and overall an awesome life but all i do is lay in bed all day then leave for a few hours at night to the gym then come home and do it all over the next day. Has anyone ever dealt with the aftermath of a bpd relationship? ",4.3432708728652765,5.239967221774197,5.325218216318785,82.86665085388995,70.33064516129032,7.7707779886148,28.7011385199241,7.928766900206844,1.7860884250474385,973,35,193,12,17,320,144,248,0.214,0.698,0.08800000000000001,-0.9858,1,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,9,14,5,1,21,0,19,6,1,2,6,28,30,16,2,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,5,0,2,3,6,10,0,2,4,1,1,4,3,10,0,1,14,2,28,4,29,15,7,52,0,3,1,0,12,16,0,3,32,130,34,2,0.10020586866583532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16675862010949344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006627327364852,0.0,0.0,0.08920446799045756,0.0,0.2279972835925645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526781372365967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786173511356725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631848302162957,0.0,0.0,0.112389402386694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938734863943483,0.0,0.17261433569757245,0.0,0.1039978712087704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875265696035381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18128389020499333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446517488421964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096213348297851,0.0,0.0,0.08523506069696778,0.0,0.10987056283679257,0.07741880555981967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809585680333067,0.08014378715238114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861171872623484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651415255411334,0.0,0.11874443684146145,0.0,0.0,0.10051465655896093,0.0,0.09868259570073043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458889258512492,0.0994388626316545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610354633188893,0.10887396950384473,0.0,0.283113473913132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20196789388664235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599667366986359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728494341094434,0.0,0.10657007813691026,0.09403641961118042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621107856974642,0.0,0.1175699963188268,0.0,0.0,0.09565784017191988,0.0,0.08749589939847265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073457505580437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21516720389526628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453657510637693,0.11320410912586752,0.0,0.08289133005925371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542867466295252,0.0,0.0,0.21277868879536133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534234246248298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657232654156513,0.0,0.0,0.07955226661652623,0.058430847853298114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653606721136904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295106583486391,0.0,0.10211834099734683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452929404234174
mentalhealth,handintannor,2019/02/01,"How do I justify escapism when I have so much to do about mental health? Tl;dr I don't know how to justify pretending I'm someone else in some other world (table top RPG's are my biggest hobby) when I have so much to do and learn about myself.

A little background: I have had depression for 5 years, at least. It has been masking an ADHD (I'm mostly sure, I have to get some psychological testing to see if it's correct). Looking back, I can see how everything about ADHD could have been taken from my own life. (Inattentive ADHD with Depression would be what fits the best in my mind.) I did pretty good in elementary and high school, but I do remember some things like teachers asking if I had siezures because I zoned out or getting hyper focused on things, and in general not being able to start things and getting distracted easily. I worry that maybe it's not ADHD because I don't remember a lot about school and I did pretty good with little effort. Although Adderall seems to help my focus and brain extremely well when I take it consistently throughout the day.  


I've been going to college off and on since high school, and I have seen the same thing. Also, I have had a heck of a time with the distractibility and lack of focus, and then overfocusing on one assignment and ignoring others. Things take forever for me to do them, as well. This semester I literally couldn't make myself do the reading, and so I ended up dropping all but one of my classes. The lack of motivation is the biggest thing that keys me in that it's ADHD.   


So basically it comes down to this. I have to figure out 1. If I have ADHD for sure, 2. How to overcome perfectionism 3. How to have a good self-esteem and not be co-dependent to/on/with? my wife, 3. Learn strategies to overcome the ADHD symptoms. (Low motivation, distractability, poor memory) and maybe find better meds; and 4. Generally rebuild my self-esteem, self-value, and automatic thought patterns so that I can be happy in the moment. (learn to be happy and do what makes me happy.)  


With all this on my plate, I feel guilty for finding distractions and escapes like D&D and other TTRPG's. For some reason I don't feel guilt about wasting my time on Reddit or Facebook, though. It must be something about pretending to be some other ""character"" in some ""perfect"" world. Maybe it's me pretending to be able to manage my issues in that virtual world? I just can't justify that kind of pretending in the face of all of the real-world issues I have to face.   


I guess the big internal fight is because TTRPG's are my favorite hobby. I love playing them, DMing, hand-sculpting and painting miniatures, etc. I just don't want to lose myself in just pretending that this life isn't real? I'm not sure where this guilt is coming from.

​

Sorry for the rant, this place I'm in is extremely new and it is a bit cathertic to write my thoughts out.",4.86294883303411,6.2061047719928215,5.750624326750453,78.63541584380613,69.50269299820467,8.586157989228008,29.364856373429085,8.982922981607832,2.45503737881508,2286,86,419,42,40,751,244,557,0.08,0.747,0.174,0.9945,0,0,1,0,1,0,87.0,0,0,2,8,28,31,1,6,20,0,54,8,3,10,9,99,84,46,0,10,14,1,2,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,34,30,0,1,17,7,1,3,11,12,2,2,12,6,50,19,70,60,21,55,0,4,4,1,8,38,1,15,15,306,84,14,0.12642574445065646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5317871180444593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05055131108041328,0.0,0.13698224129216813,0.07681055874742904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909550242017771,0.0,0.0,0.048606796843537636,0.0,0.11560194056367748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633800947618583,0.055906648543729065,0.06901208447969091,0.0,0.0,0.07056647115547966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890458434378664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047033479369746,0.0,0.0,0.04076707311489442,0.0,0.10889030844189232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280624344566199,0.0,0.055987842217129935,0.0,0.07049906209937754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681165356659424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392465506283991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555084003242415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907835016794336,0.0,0.03592533202686612,0.15905987432458882,0.0,0.0,0.06963610543842888,0.0,0.0,0.20187383376733406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671923272083553,0.0,0.0,0.042370255782478425,0.1335757402671495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195563076688724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582647896382175,0.03474014141561395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929824215895102,0.061765232727572374,0.12671180917433827,0.0,0.0,0.053082892100586816,0.07071903479363656,0.0,0.053741323452271485,0.057052085178666626,0.0,0.08439016613280767,0.0,0.19051747961354654,0.0,0.07021525072037661,0.0,0.06370370737691039,0.0,0.06382698098332043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929374689038294,0.0,0.0,0.061051385899561036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566935636374813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604399730144543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286204329818822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322997852629675,0.14390017530271246,0.0,0.06499336073663957,0.0,0.0,0.14321572323661635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919244043986454,0.10074494993086017,0.057546624764493376,0.19783443583856125,0.0,0.0,0.05229034112858897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05356006150299678,0.04866435734057446,0.0,0.07076163514218044,0.04474239631595511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873215193627331,0.06570237801860547,0.09505642594886547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519749408359487,0.0,0.06210632601210243,0.10036791920112828,0.07371986827808291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03728458982754385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136719273826704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419574017065831,0.0,0.04490461076296634,0.0,0.07681055874742904,0.0407070171976856
mentalhealth,glitteryloser,2019/02/01,"Is Climate Change causing anyone else to feel suicidal? The title says it all, really.  In the past two years my mental health has rapidly declined, especially in relation to climate change.  I don't want to go to school or work or do anything anymore- I feel like it's pointless to keep trying to live and prepare for a future if the whole world is going to end in a decade or two.  Is anyone else going through this too?",3.5543379790940786,5.551384085365857,4.520034843205576,83.52060975609757,74.0,6.636933797909408,27.567944250871076,7.447530270364453,1.6511895470383269,333,13,61,4,7,108,57,82,0.075,0.895,0.031,-0.5547,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,0,6,1,0,1,1,11,13,5,1,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,3,3,1,12,13,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,5,39,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16458392614279702,0.2320808244250945,0.34008341437819706,0.1365677869105004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170482700550233,0.3511192441269279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772701687552709,0.0,0.146987907554541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782485119524404,0.11855912047162225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829501463381392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764036474521323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750946845454155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107780152551944,0.0,0.14654233790548402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724478529615386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842394188084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631577157196202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197500678028548,0.0,0.16795650325775655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815291133829869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267334527151715,0.0,0.3242301259649149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788524839957534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528413633085392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081806774224445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068703319100917
mentalhealth,appydave,2019/02/01,"I would love to know how you cultivate self-love? This is Day 2 (Feb 2) of 28 personal videos on Self Love.  


**she's a special kind of cruel (grateful for 31 video stories)**

  
[https://youtu.be/kRghHJitnKs](https://youtu.be/kRghHJitnKs)  


Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.  


Being judged and compared by a loved one is a special kind of cruel.  


What do you love about yourself?  


I love that I created 31 video stories in 31 days.  


28 days of self-love - Day 2  


I love that I can dance  


I love that I am a great listener  


I love, my ability to dig deep and find personal insights.  


I love my intuition  


I love my resourcefulness.  


today, I am grateful for creating 31 video stories in January  


​

​",2.3232982456140374,5.2530879185185215,2.8269785575048765,87.44982456140352,88.33333333333334,6.1013645224171515,25.623781676413248,7.475848149327749,1.699740740740741,579,25,107,11,19,179,72,135,0.045,0.5579999999999999,0.396,0.9958,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,4,0,1,3,19,2,1,4,0,10,10,0,2,0,10,23,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,6,3,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,2,19,16,15,20,0,10,0,0,1,10,20,4,0,0,5,61,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914865291049564,0.21474589924085968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279520398819884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381748303354192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076386064445279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742254533939357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840367606936408,0.04856300376997556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7975271587038786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059878300814777435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431353549259094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041533488259545,0.0,0.2765513916169891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748712400900337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375953375545198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277184527496202,0.0,0.21474589924085968,0.0
mentalhealth,TryingMistake,2019/02/01,"I am lost Yesterday I was really thinking about ending it all. My mom somehow felt something was wrong and she went to my bedroom. We had a long talk and she asked me if I am going to university forced. And yes, I kinda feel that way.
I wake up every day 5 am and come back home around 11pm. I study in the morning and work in the afternoon to the night. I dont even have time to have lunch or a proper meal.
My biggest dream is to live abroad, but she always says that I can't because I don't have a degree and no one would hire me outside of Brazil.
I feel like I am not living my life, but the life she wants me to live.",1.3753475935828874,2.558522470588237,3.2009358288770087,94.1344385026738,77.97058823529412,6.12192513368984,20.451871657754012,6.574015621080383,0.02124411764705858,480,11,116,4,11,161,89,136,0.068,0.879,0.053,-0.2263,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,7,1,15,5,1,0,1,23,25,10,0,3,5,1,3,1,0,1,2,1,2,0,3,9,2,0,4,1,0,3,5,2,0,1,6,4,23,1,12,18,1,17,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,4,9,77,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572047941424868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155901000295246,0.16372098800319024,0.0,0.0,0.13466257967166634,0.0,0.10675636976906414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508572176954164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294303652607372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20524864720875452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551113785069614,0.0,0.0,0.1156703559753819,0.0,0.1475528468354979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709990195595354,0.12511143887195306,0.16815029089119662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995292469460908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566760785515154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24739609334837825,0.08555866785348097,0.0,0.4639235516782552,0.15498272033494578,0.0,0.0,0.19117283952552008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20510773253432074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434571285302407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867122785203035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121914459489752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926877095355486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482204800781514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407612084305459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221491577416076,0.0,0.0,0.10211851304805676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032949993462602,0.13900841117473625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623453595101248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749522969495478,0.0,0.0,0.1244058674336833,0.19147491576885967,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,random6225,2019/02/01,"Toxic Parenting I guess I just want to vent a little and maybe get some advice.

​

My girlfriend has been emotionally abused by her parents, especially her Mum who she has lived with alone since her parents were divorced when she was young, and it has been the main driving force in quite severe depression and anxiety. Since I met her a bit over a year ago she has come so far and i'm super proud, but there are still those days

​

She is 19 almost 20, and her Mum still controls her like she is a child, and is always super nasty to her. The worst part is that my girlfriend always feels guilty for feeling upset and makes excuses for her Mum all the time. She feels like she is just making it worse in her head and blaming her Mum, and says what her Mum does isn't that bad because people go through worse. To give some context, her Mum mocks her about being sad, makes fun of the way she looks, and questions ever choice she makes saying it is the wrong one.

​

I don't know if this made any sense, but I suppose I just want any advice you can give me to help her when she feels down, and to not make her blame herself. Also, moving out isn't an option right now, but maybe in a month or so it could be an option.",7.458454301075271,5.931321270161295,6.696612903225808,83.86075268817207,64.12096774193549,9.234408602150538,30.344086021505376,7.1686216300943375,1.600748924731184,977,24,205,6,12,299,143,248,0.177,0.703,0.12,-0.9636,3,1,0,0,2,0,33.0,0,1,0,5,14,13,1,1,12,0,22,1,1,7,2,47,44,21,0,4,9,9,4,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,10,14,0,1,6,0,0,4,4,7,0,1,6,7,36,6,18,35,7,26,0,2,1,0,49,9,0,9,14,135,46,0,0.0,0.10526191030545692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362855100473967,0.07875207593274533,0.0,0.08896130394898573,0.0920123541913804,0.0,0.07104601617867645,0.14784545090883242,0.28877715502433937,0.32385416418472096,0.12082968388266975,0.0,0.06796302672196453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417842030141507,0.054156573219295935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699122665026284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652854788388057,0.0,0.0,0.09964259636068452,0.07093221017734548,0.0,0.0,0.05729501518706004,0.0,0.07651851603767054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774524898986983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993402747759468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036165828269135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968246444039435,0.0634679393323079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04641569076741954,0.17044852642842154,0.05049031698396431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786824056311284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117636903413863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954816627857897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488246218804705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680632865609446,0.08904189676019579,0.07844812085988782,0.0,0.07460396041934657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406338464465887,0.2965098718634279,0.0,0.17850520127840547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709119393710967,0.09442379111533374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602008765762153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29594183647945577,0.09620601087413512,0.0,0.061591077082466514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995221129437328,0.0944932069181797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586962240676752,0.0,0.14129966029424054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036490196103358,0.0,0.14698018082659278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189687614639512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05180382904454392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048013005197546,0.07051775190714782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107288439903735,0.0,0.09713355107452974,0.32385416418472096,0.05721061117113142
mentalhealth,aruinedguy,2019/02/01,I have an undiagnosable mental illness which is making me hurt people closest to me Ever since I was little there’s been  something was wrong with me.  I can’t recall exactly when it started but I began to lash out at people I loved and cared about for the slightest reason. I was paranoid and afraid of them hurting me and betraying me just like my parents did. So I hurt them first. I hated doing this so I isolated myself to not hurt them anymore. When I wasn’t working or in school I’d lock myself in my room to prevent myself from lashing out. Growing up I had very few friends and acquaintances. A few months ago I became homeless and just recently my brother took me in. However I’m afraid that he’ll kick me out like everybody else I ever trusted did. I can’t show him my gratitude without lashing out. I’m sorry for hurting him. I’m really grateful but I’m afraid too. His wife is getting sick of me and I over heard her talking about kicking me out. I don’t want to go back into the cold. I want to get better and stop hurting people. I want to know what’s wrong with me and how can I stop being this way. I don’t want to hurt myself and people close to me anymore. Please help me. ,1.8177185792349704,3.9649544877049214,3.5602459016393446,87.64534153005467,79.94262295081967,5.706010928961749,24.510928961748643,6.816661863887847,0.9856453551912564,941,35,186,10,24,314,133,244,0.218,0.602,0.181,-0.9291,2,0,1,0,0,2,18.0,0,0,3,3,14,20,1,3,4,0,18,3,0,3,3,39,39,17,0,4,7,3,0,2,1,1,2,1,1,0,6,18,0,3,2,1,0,3,7,13,0,1,11,2,47,7,31,26,2,33,0,7,0,1,16,16,0,1,15,134,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841326840210788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882519902084384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298053491827977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394087619768899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676787044348427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928578190606875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170447695833554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073106495527818,0.0,0.0,0.07332783679981822,0.0,0.09917393538401116,0.0,0.05393998614796762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370475042138407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361669833096037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7112277058669427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05216048512329136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927372305218992,0.09512554019732394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566068872929487,0.0,0.063353685761682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564774769277136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575688282205259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538719444215948,0.0,0.0,0.2631967508321871,0.0,0.0,0.1041835403941614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080227898927019,0.09758409400983396,0.09371294973944784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960547811312086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851118186017877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073066958960527,0.0,0.10624485297790333,0.06717834189269774,0.0,0.0,0.15869933161580696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628569356128387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054493739892586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831133721439182,0.2239233594084956,0.0753357631378197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149060952282688,0.0,0.06909618162189785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20754008738455987,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lomeaaa,2019/02/01,"Any advice? Ok....The only reason I am on here writing about this is because, to a certain extent, writing about it calms me. 

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Since 2013, I have been somewhat antisocial. I took a job that allowed me to work from home and when I had to communicate with my supervisor or manager, it was over email. The only time I have really talked to people was in the shop or local pub, and that was really only to say thank you. Since 2013, I have felt so confused...So fuzzy...Like my mind was constantly in a race with itself. I first self harmed around Feb of 2017.....Not to end my life, but to make myself feel something other than numb. I didnt cut often, perhaps every other month when my mind was close to exploding. Then, around November of last year (2018), I reconnected with a girl I knew in school. We immediately made a connection and soon we was dating....Unfortunately, she was only interested in the sex whereas I wanted what some would call an emotional relationship. One where sex was important, but so was everything else....Cuddling, talking, spending time with each other outside of the bedroom.....And it was around this time I started cutting almost every day. My mood was bouncing around so much. It would take the smallest thing to trigger a mood change and then eventually, it would lead to me holding my straight razor and bleeding. Then, around mid December, I started having panic attacks, mental breakdowns....I was punching walls, headbutting walls....I couldnt focus on anything.....I started drinking literally every night until I would pass out....my health slowly deteriorated......My girlfriend at the time, started taking my phone and causing arguments with any friend I had, just so I she had my full attention. I eventually lost everyone else....And then me and her broke up....In January 2019. I know what you are thinking....wow, you was together barely a month....But this was the first person I had a real connection with in years....I feel disconnected from my family....Its hard to explain but ask and I will.

Well, eventually, my now ex, convinced me to go to the doctors and talk to them. They gave me tablets for anxiety and depression but said they feel there may be more problems and that I should make an appointment with the Mental Health Practitioner...So I did....but once I had completed my tablets (they were for 2 weeks)....My mood dropped again, I was alone, and so I didnt go to my appointment....(I get extremely anxious when I go to the doctors, dentists or hospitals). Now, this leads us to now....Since then, I have had around 9 panic attacks, 3 mental breakdowns where iv completely destroyed my bedroom and I have self harmed countless times.....I have also been drunk every night since the 4th of January....Can anyone give me advice? Even just a word in the right direction? If you need more detail, please tell me and I will do what I can.....(Sorry this was so long, I just hope someone sees)",3.7199464820893375,6.271405601113178,4.5434090909090905,80.9504982517483,75.5491651205937,7.411459968602826,27.434030255458822,8.384062270229773,2.188370600827744,2285,92,406,44,52,735,274,539,0.12,0.8140000000000001,0.066,-0.9862,2,1,2,1,0,1,173.0,3,4,4,6,32,25,5,2,23,0,48,13,0,9,1,82,79,38,0,11,11,1,5,0,2,8,9,2,2,4,21,31,2,1,9,4,2,7,3,14,1,3,34,8,67,8,52,35,8,65,0,3,1,2,37,25,0,10,32,272,88,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513012907612562,0.0,0.0,0.0692360352939807,0.07161058032523701,0.0,0.0552930798593544,0.0,0.0749156633646235,0.08401547394304504,0.09403828278706827,0.0,0.05289367745223273,0.07811112906388845,0.0,0.04834591038226765,0.0,0.0,0.3693078864052979,0.0646387257780465,0.15731871733660713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04214851006413305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060202848712217,0.0,0.0,0.07102819789567524,0.07314339541881823,0.0,0.14498879186987504,0.0747182732230076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459106957262261,0.0,0.05955216978457506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415401669950787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773314047533288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777757917923062,0.06123956361765227,0.0,0.0,0.0456678432724584,0.0,0.23302151106451904,0.0660684396753331,0.062140649381036576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488128740366573,0.0,0.06638746000117601,0.0,0.0,0.11762482613535953,0.0,0.0,0.0534191767397014,0.0,0.03612400292615308,0.06632760350709622,0.1178855034783654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193792830289674,0.0,0.0,0.14699008333760066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935537386332709,0.06867391427101137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861307326177782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03799880502729591,0.05636021047495063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04883725792136745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061188768051357124,0.0,0.0,0.07547699840450382,0.0,0.0,0.06542412496029333,0.09230605686770196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20903755633906215,0.0,0.1396280445062347,0.0,0.11037746343909896,0.0,0.05082755303666888,0.051268146332764115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297707471163953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363430296691811,0.04685261827715083,0.2103433679298958,0.0,0.16224720511319854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04793457152023406,0.06037239763864202,0.0,0.07589749269267035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661598522380287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869908529307057,0.08858866780350756,0.0710898097147723,0.0,0.07423296452557261,0.0,0.05904715445389822,0.06577016968392586,0.05498473961650526,0.0,0.06997570846047495,0.05509746871938271,0.0,0.1442610161960144,0.0,0.0,0.22878093138250735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058584054392698114,0.05322912777585955,0.0,0.07739915462669528,0.195757129911952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397282362814747,0.16672190773276807,0.06043342600002355,0.06365694894779429,0.0,0.0,0.04593507807026498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126974659221047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681964983640481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831696849591423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0407819255088804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06216723982231227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033642473560352,0.0,0.0,0.19646685127673835,0.0,0.08401547394304504,0.04452538034408862
mentalhealth,scarscarto23,2019/02/01,"My parents found out I was going to online counseling Sorry for such a long post about probably something trivial, but it felt good. Also, this is my first post on this sub! So, hello!

I (22) have been secretly using and paying for online counseling for about eight months now but eventually it got to be such a financial burden I had to end my subscription. I have a long history battling depression and anxiety and I didn’t want to tell my parents I needed to talk to someone again (am currently living at home because I’m in school/ financial reasons). They’ve never been unsupportive, per se, but I’ve never felt like I could really open up to them or go to them when I needed help. Especially my father. 

However, today my dad was on me about my finances and looked through my transaction history (complicated scenario but will be changing after today). He kept bringing up the company name and I felt super uncomfortable. I had forgotten that I had switched cards so I didn’t even think about it. 

Later today, my mom came home and said she wanted to talk about the counseling service. I felt so ashamed. I was ready for anything. They’ve blamed me in the past or told me things are all in my head. But, instead, she assured me I can always tell them when I need help and suggested I use their insurance because she knows things are tough for me and wants me to keep getting the help I need. 

Hearing that was such a relief and I plan on calling to set that up as soon as I can. Anyways, I know this was a long post but getting support from them felt really relieving. She told me I don’t need to feel ashamed and she feels bad that I didn’t tell her I needed help. Just a few months ago, we were talking and she commended me on how well I was doing and how strong I seemed to be and all of that, so I felt especially embarrassed to bring it up. But, anyways, yes! Things weren’t always like this with them, but I’m hoping this means something more open with my parents. ",4.449282013323465,5.755165730569949,5.2853923019985185,81.72281088082903,70.45077720207254,8.623094004441155,29.32975573649149,9.04235418022936,2.39999733530718,1556,60,301,30,28,507,185,386,0.124,0.73,0.146,0.9122,6,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,6,4,26,19,1,3,10,1,31,1,1,5,5,70,75,34,0,11,11,6,8,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,17,20,0,2,16,0,2,6,7,8,1,2,29,11,60,11,45,41,4,47,0,1,1,0,41,15,0,4,24,215,77,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669877240171124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060432831362526515,0.12575960881493872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05781039323086053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218718703017132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630973023672436,0.09213282412072332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716481867654032,0.08643127524761487,0.0,0.0,0.07994241760219517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033602623176192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650878237026783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693206871879799,0.0,0.0,0.04991288382189592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764203304870782,0.0,0.43535091751545496,0.0,0.0,0.06427930312406079,0.0,0.08285795956790586,0.0,0.0,0.078963797369529,0.0,0.08589567651643283,0.06338403730229522,0.06043976206215551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755601834492941,0.0,0.08517221938457324,0.0,0.20261033534156944,0.0,0.15160456329901253,0.07505747718703927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716956546652822,0.0,0.0,0.08306194489557271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383879495340814,0.0,0.06672917516880561,0.20062965439803546,0.06345927332027029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231724344852451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850598183632201,0.12063756714593665,0.0,0.0,0.3362025681490162,0.11656757826687872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517326665030822,0.0,0.07213955447822587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21712382174312664,0.0,0.0814766073711821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682340060669507,0.0776979414605735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188381590071648,0.0,0.0,0.07648027926137985,0.0,0.0687955543693643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402971743756188,0.11635405047558353,0.0,0.08459376961918075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575527304147762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822194922055608,0.1981529904687312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061487804835175,0.048421827761224966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148928990336335,0.1444196229777995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305354171027912,0.0,0.0,0.13371839115416911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794597678428918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snorting_anthrax,2019/02/01,"I feel so empty. I was in the bath last night and I stayed there for an hour and a half. The water was so warm and comforting, I remember thinking I wanted to be in there forever and I almost fell asleep. Everything I do is boring I start playing a game or watching something and I give up after five minutes because I don't see the point. Sometimes I wonder if breaking into a random house and murdering everyone there would make me feel more alive but then I can feel their suffering and cries of pain and I feel guilty. I take 20mg prozac but its not enough I need more I want to feel like a normal human being again.",2.1366666666666667,4.2474470317460336,3.4891269841269827,88.74892857142858,78.6825396825397,6.422222222222223,22.404761904761905,7.492282038375204,0.9303619047619044,490,15,99,7,12,160,86,126,0.174,0.7290000000000001,0.098,-0.9097,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,6,8,1,0,8,0,9,4,1,1,0,30,24,15,1,6,5,0,6,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,9,1,0,8,3,0,1,2,4,0,2,2,8,18,4,9,19,3,15,0,1,2,0,4,5,0,5,8,70,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18151930526542412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050269173167568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912051546980314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873040654261004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17321467381711386,0.16291700494538158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4582868430680687,0.12950188163648166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389413558137892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851796133093528,0.20916537284410236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477621618076034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856111461300133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100152213563188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441206251997087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701129748426759,0.1776096201885789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928878696555733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136212571954676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053476287523148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445157353912327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955325796361032,0.1792842055855843,0.0,0.12830637279955628,0.19321351686026314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629517224180662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615279043594198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21383970801695606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19658346469080507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877155010397964,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chef-boy-par-ty,2019/02/01,"Any feedback on my possible dissociation? I typically describe my dissociation as ""being zoned-out"" and ""not living an active life"". I've been this way since I was a child; and I gather it was brought about as a defense coping mechanism as a result of trauma. Decades have gone by without me feeling that reality is 'real' or even worth the effort of trying. People occasionally tell me that I have deep, introspective facial characteristics; but constantly, I'm just living out fantasy scenarios or replaying and ruminating on social exchanges I've been a part of. I haven't never ever deeply considered the unfortunate misery of this existence -- probably because of my take on reality -- but, thank you for submitting this. I'll remember it for my upcoming initial therapy session. I hope your boyfriend gets the opportunity to thoroughly enjoy his life experiences. ",9.132897897897898,10.289533040540542,10.277387387387387,50.668213213213264,59.81081081081082,13.604804804804804,42.12012012012011,12.838901577100673,6.504984084084084,702,38,95,26,9,244,103,148,0.091,0.792,0.117,0.6224,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,2,4,6,1,0,8,0,9,3,1,1,2,19,17,10,0,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,2,1,2,2,4,2,0,0,6,1,15,4,18,10,1,11,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,3,3,70,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511426187042067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111800976094525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21471052076989602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123116994690154,0.17972415043462925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19435442618553428,0.0,0.0,0.1004623316630396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380597872515138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19734144353721086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806776074702346,0.0,0.0,0.3508892717255728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323999038429484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515911867118293,0.0,0.13774484299540934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239902176708167,0.0,0.0,0.21421864837098548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261497871739692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250741200404664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435629063839974,0.0,0.0,0.2025368078729329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938821618967746,0.0,0.1736615664236,0.1829246858852051,0.22721638557595425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348957189788601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577088293460692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152758693911526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Molinda173,2019/02/01,My moms kicking me out! Hi I’m 17 and I have autism. My mom said she can’t deal with me anymore and she will kick me out with my belongings. What can I do I’m so scared. I have no where else to go and I have a lot of anxiety,-3.6022222222222204,-2.221375296296296,-0.13888888888888928,106.745,107.51851851851852,3.8814814814814818,13.407407407407408,5.82211442006289,-1.2221703703703706,170,4,50,2,9,60,37,54,0.16,0.84,0.0,-0.8018,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,8,11,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,12,0,6,9,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,0,34,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229910004114125,0.0,0.2890822799893658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005160163015741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24350461930063114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566193176480248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24781653937234344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6827850955194749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772761630781242,0.0,0.29183489057985945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,misterehron,2019/02/01,"Welbutrin: Can we discuss this drug and get some user testimonials? I have been on this drug (150) for a week now. I am going to 300 MG tomorrow.

I have had crippling depression since I was about 18/19 years old. I took lamitrogine but I got the rash so now I am on this. Lamitrogine didn’t have any noticeable side effects for me, although people around me said they noticed I was a bit better. 


Here is what’s going on this first week, wondering if I am alone on this.

I can’t sleep for shit. I have been on the schedule of up for 2 data, sleep 12-14 hours the next, repeat. I get crazy tired randomly and fall asleep for a short period of time then bounce back with lots of energy.  I want to clean and I am going back to the gym which is unreal for me, I’ve turned into a complete homebody the past couple years. 

Mentally, I am not sad. I forget to smoke which is nice. I do however get anger nightly for no real reason then it leaves. I also have great positivity which turns to great negativity within minutes, but overall I am not depressed. It’s very bizarre and makes me feel extremely unstable. 

I am way nicer to people. I usually dismiss people as peasants, but today I made small talk with my server which I never do. I then bought Halls for the lady at the grocery store who was bagging my food because I noticed she had a cold. I ask people how they are doing, when usually I couldn’t give any less of a fuck, and it’s involuntary.

I feel like I see and live little pieces of what it must be like to be normal, but I’m quickly pulled down to my old self and ways, and it bounces back and forth all day. Like constant tug of war for my mind. Yet through all these negative emotions, I no longer feel I am better off dead. 


Does this sound right? I physically have no side effects. Has anyone else had this? Will this even out in future, will it get worse with my dose going up? 

What have you guys gone through on this drug? ",2.7227568746591904,4.483090776349616,3.840691750408976,88.52223105086858,75.68380462724936,6.771706785074395,23.613071589935345,7.576466943178032,0.9597636675235641,1508,46,317,20,33,489,216,389,0.163,0.705,0.132,-0.9496,1,1,4,0,0,0,47.0,1,1,2,5,15,15,4,0,13,0,40,12,5,6,4,46,67,23,2,5,7,0,3,3,0,3,5,2,1,2,24,16,1,0,7,1,2,8,11,7,0,1,15,7,46,8,46,46,7,67,0,3,1,1,13,23,2,5,37,215,70,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895827022699375,0.0,0.06868784916239143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168190920093174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600577252777843,0.08800656548360725,0.0,0.07646214336529716,0.08029748130480573,0.0,0.0,0.19813707647730244,0.0,0.05235900241167197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519290938364757,0.0937718834153029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005619049913076,0.09281880289307183,0.0,0.0,0.09503793043725592,0.0,0.05539327287582504,0.0,0.14795741043402882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516472031702068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988225612107353,0.0,0.07175179450555405,0.09661700648081543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056730895407694874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028881855496136,0.06136130465839991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305974215841435,0.10386101960722856,0.0,0.0,0.07940582520683961,0.17950022465341908,0.08239549029619787,0.19525774779173427,0.0,0.06869572658332262,0.18939259823377866,0.0,0.08504664309808062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458637723097084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094728945710656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588756547746524,0.08608640853860045,0.07584426238827299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302235768336346,0.0,0.0812731437330817,0.057333616856135326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655899421539927,0.0,0.08672649528909697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624525156854974,0.0,0.091347179984606,0.08060387960206743,0.08415598195898286,0.0,0.2933660379947166,0.18025853624817012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199368993515482,0.2381869576895111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977639681779109,0.0,0.0883113427411168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335134973335422,0.08170301792060705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844485115050575,0.0,0.08960415069742905,0.0,0.08816696504705078,0.0710507994219395,0.0,0.1719081799673551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903678410597779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050084350774814025,0.0987202874678314,0.08141562956259794,0.0,0.09542923877802437,0.0,0.18685179299766325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891959381854282,0.07086994465059439,0.05066136223612715,0.1363542381908498,0.13779485882914647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314627490553898,0.0,0.0,0.08753134686483079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062334081415648
mentalhealth,justrying2help,2019/02/01,"Comparing myself to others is making me miserable but i cant help it. 
For context I am a college student, im going to be graduating soon and i am terrified of what the future will bring knowing that i have no idea on what the next step in life is .

I find myself constantly comparing myself to my classmates or people who went to highschool with me . 

I know this is doing me no good and how toxic it actually is , but i just cant help it .
I sometimes cant sleep at night because im thinking of how X or Y are going to be successful in the future and how i will be a failure .

I am not a bad person, i dont envy anyone and i sincerely hope the best to everyone .

This is seriously messing with me ,i am miserable and never satisfied .

Did anyone live through a similar experience ?
If so please help me , i am deeply unhappy.",3.0024313186813174,4.344135589285713,5.745238095238098,76.88950549450551,74.05952380952381,8.978754578754577,29.58974358974359,9.466822959209583,2.876690842490844,641,28,124,16,13,232,96,168,0.203,0.629,0.168,-0.608,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,0,2,8,0,23,2,1,4,1,25,32,14,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,10,7,0,0,5,0,0,5,8,5,0,0,2,0,23,5,16,25,1,16,0,2,0,0,5,4,0,4,7,101,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.16607347877213854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379909898866865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420952001638741,0.10374161488632508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17859593527185666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839067220615384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994525119272092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626165815709668,0.0,0.1664710481338662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554363561698195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343716593104632,0.1427409275794932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422090375757809,0.0,0.0,0.16902952811853586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19211522126462066,0.3676524030211297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18705559894212453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020486597684064,0.0,0.0,0.15027418204338466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359807723539428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125516262204806,0.0,0.1809909190478064,0.15970465919643506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798305208954045,0.1485967123407713,0.0,0.18680917654692986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703053093120699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831475070510826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904601385310336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776079498875792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Adijia,2019/02/01,"Is this psychosis? As long as I can remember there's 2 things that I frequently see that I know aren't real. I always thought it was normal and everyone experiences stuff like this until I mentioned it to my girlfriend and she made me realize that something's probably wrong. The first is a face that pops up in front of me from time to time. It's always transparent and it appears just inches from my face, sometimes it has eyes, other times nothing and it looks like a see through mask. There's also these glowing maggots that appear less often but it happens every now and then. At the blink of an eye the room im in will be filled with neon, bright, glowing maggots that float and move really fast. My girlfriend thinks I might have schizophrenia but I don't remember any extreme event in my past that would cause such a thing. Can someone try to explain what the hell is wrong with me?",4.608354824366383,6.175029942196531,4.605780346820811,85.74387727879059,70.38728323699422,7.404001778568253,28.914628723877282,7.882392219407189,1.810277367718987,712,27,136,9,13,220,111,173,0.077,0.88,0.043,-0.8229,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,1,0,8,0,14,4,4,2,0,27,25,13,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,0,22,8,0,0,7,0,0,5,2,3,0,1,3,8,15,3,18,18,1,24,1,0,8,0,5,7,1,4,14,95,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971817524251074,0.24913131731690236,0.0,0.0,0.10180380299707976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378716946973606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613201402352886,0.1430485163635291,0.0,0.1464391652006218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733808266750482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238268703283027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170592900671504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227336243224645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627555245424745,0.0,0.0,0.13248326327777193,0.1257135936349564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165347412383714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15881220758186515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911158119518287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466780619677263,0.14364495418247228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290933636937309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140615191292984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039584173112715,0.09590416814887044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33917072941293896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23858929299449705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268436503815996,0.11524939582467955,0.14806101037092326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137517849986422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19891327233652148,0.09592423076631852,0.0,0.1188481948621757,0.2618806887717873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016391386813306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634537355452482,0.32735548352838145,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Meme_to_the_Extreme,2019/02/01,"Questions about panic attacks I'm just looking for some advice from individuals who suffer from panic attacks

Little backstory:
Im a 22 year old male, works as a crew lead, working on going back to college I'm also a Christian.

Bullied very harshly growing up, suffered from social anxiety and depression for the better part of ages 12-22. Finally beat depression and social anxiety.

But ever since I turned 20 I've started to suffer from sudden onset panic attacks, I get a sudden intense feeling of dying and like God is telling me in going to die. My chest starts hurting on the left near my armpit. My hands go numb. It becomes hard to breathe. I really dont know what to do it's getting worse and now everytime I leave the house all I can think about is what if we wreck, I dont even want to go to social events due to just wanting to stay home and what if something goes down and cops come or etc

Please any help I could get would be great ",3.3796858288770046,5.344283288770054,4.491119652406418,83.68020889037436,74.40106951871657,6.600133689839572,27.7302807486631,7.413659706084162,1.6605403743315508,753,30,139,9,16,246,126,187,0.28300000000000003,0.62,0.097,-0.9907,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,5,9,16,3,3,7,0,9,5,4,1,2,26,28,12,2,6,6,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,6,8,0,0,4,0,0,7,2,13,0,0,0,4,12,3,26,25,4,29,1,6,1,0,9,8,0,5,14,81,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981334551130104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168403778074655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946101269412182,0.0,0.1562788384499748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34860858040180204,0.0,0.07854196745664586,0.0,0.0,0.11280935712994328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033753416556392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879874922322355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815531911237149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595191655021186,0.0,0.2120174397146852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23942260142195165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391688818658575,0.0674647504664476,0.0923945505231155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05164677065415806,0.0,0.0,0.1118930988251188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600971275601218,0.0,0.2322017859359073,0.0,0.0,0.11261345593269935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150042081982268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846456600522986,0.0,0.1024581555840279,0.0,0.0,0.11785976625196612,0.10934661920668716,0.0,0.11033239679437508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056135339781543184,0.0,0.0,0.10815510921745887,0.11097909984831117,0.0,0.0,0.04990210437499873,0.10237451795660507,0.0,0.0,0.08577472811651116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718231291815987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595298055199106,0.0,0.11061134528942657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212277696126884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442398139919238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543567573206446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449407362593113,0.0,0.0,0.3123669904554,0.0,0.0786349773848583,0.0,0.0,0.14459524443431046,0.1088712707281798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927783124330221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544936451071724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110268486160567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427899995343256,0.12049364414181407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872321926394322,0.0,0.10409284802909877,0.07255973868327756,0.0,0.0,0.06577699884831682
mentalhealth,confusedwomanmaybe,2019/02/01,"Committed Risk? A few months I took like 30 Advil, I've done it afew times not recently. I've also attempted to stab myself, and choke myself. I wasn't trying to kill myself, I don't know why I was doing it. 
If I told a therapist could I be committed",1.1992452830188682,3.0413572264150983,3.9062641509433966,85.9363773584906,80.50943396226415,8.013584905660379,20.033962264150947,8.841846274778883,1.3550558490566038,195,5,42,5,5,69,37,53,0.175,0.632,0.194,0.0098,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,1,2,0,7,1,0,0,2,7,10,3,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,0,9,1,2,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,27,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24320868737209575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24281910031728934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112255094123019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364693007069477,0.0,0.16713917032482584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858013428187114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427497081621073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002867904913201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531126158847305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733775854631867,0.0,0.0,0.2906045120118558,0.3378941134879694,0.20648094121250152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744255480919355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imnotcreative123123,2019/02/01,"i WANT to be alone I go to school and enjoy seeing people then. But I also try to be alone as much as I can and I very rarely make plans outside of school time (and when I do I don’t always follow through with them and usually find an excuse to cancel).

I don’t like cancelling on people because I don’t like to let them down, which is why I don’t make plans in the first place.

I really just like to be alone. I enjoy spending time with my parents but that’s about it. Spending time with anyone else just stresses me out and feels like a chore? Idk I just don’t tend to enjoy the time I spend with other people.

Does anyone else know why this could be?",2.1694767822105945,3.4313106043165504,3.345376062786137,93.58463047743624,76.05035971223022,5.6300850228907775,19.111183780248528,5.565023196281405,-0.34939424460431656,510,9,115,2,11,165,76,139,0.085,0.7659999999999999,0.149,0.8189,1,3,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,3,6,8,0,1,4,0,14,0,0,2,0,22,23,12,0,2,5,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,10,0,0,3,0,3,2,5,1,0,1,0,2,18,7,20,17,1,15,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,12,76,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4139157302763485,0.0,0.10653302638272948,0.11084663271354872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18629586774157067,0.27299168271677243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120741955551204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636237504442198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657848120491154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22257024816708484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735816360413903,0.09516975080406533,0.0,0.0,0.12175728410029753,0.11331371609084155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570989283617914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732121941621281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362226916663876,0.0,0.2603310191988833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778458283855024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792930801464404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479209352340944,0.0,0.0,0.27706622521657204,0.0,0.13918267907520074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534177249963122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26964401384520764,0.1061561429320632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525988207031735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107179815655987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044512264509692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671893296994706,0.10991739842304143,0.07857442481459183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240413979211562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scottyboyy2610,2019/02/01,Question I had a  concussion and also smoking weed daily haven't felt good ever since that day could this be the cause of mental health problems? haven't been feeling good mentally since that day?,5.503333333333334,7.86626044444445,4.823333333333338,81.855,69.55555555555556,7.022222222222222,28.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,2.0064,160,6,26,2,3,48,30,36,0.248,0.752,0.0,-0.8043,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,1,1,8,8,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,1,2,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392109845882365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236260743871608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362648201300685,0.0,0.0,0.296646108992719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20803706189737492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628870277030608,0.0,0.2208242803324661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858055796016181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24446619413108955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4635470608476665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22006718975400144,0.0,0.0,0.25763888417783265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38049644108570013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Veruser,2019/02/01,"No-one to reach out I think I'm losing all possible marbles again and I went to pride-counseling app, I used it before (5 messages in 7 days for free); but now I try to register and it gives out a error. I don't have mental health professionals in the country I live, so maybe smb knows other online (free) services to use? I just wanted to figure if seeking triggers and crying every fucking day is not actually the ""healitg process"" but a continuous nervous breakdown from isolation. 
Any help is appreciated, thanks",4.540747422680411,6.6119864123711345,5.926378865979384,74.16936211340209,71.47422680412372,8.148969072164949,31.712628865979386,8.841846274778883,2.962609278350516,410,19,69,8,8,138,76,97,0.153,0.721,0.126,-0.4215,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,1,4,0,4,2,0,3,1,18,14,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,2,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,7,5,11,13,1,10,0,1,0,1,3,4,1,1,5,41,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.2149424586897768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978468165994974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742544828977695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419457982083963,0.28409957999490065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18557895689009302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20362726752923996,0.0,0.21129392588066206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23412659384417905,0.0,0.0,0.14763595902695215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104940128180867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194494042063862,0.0,0.0,0.24641514030077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212812604400604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22197076129174012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24831060011223724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20278626004217568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411340239344568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954240984505549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38046867566680986,0.0,0.0,0.12991533976984634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418367466284632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blacktitan93,2019/02/01,"Need some opinions, how do you describe this behavior? So, this has pretty much been going on my entire life. This is what happens:

Whether it be a new friend, a new video game, a new song, a new sport... I find something new and i overdo it to an extreme for 2-3 months, to the point where it's all i think about, and nothing else compares during that time period in regards to the time being spent on said thing. after I overdo it I toss it aside to never be touched again. I can never have a stable list of interests that I partake in simultaneously and moderately for an extended period of time. This has been hard on me for relationships with people, and the short period of time after i get bored of something i become extremely depressed until another single interest that completely consumes me again for a few months.

​

Why am i like this?!",6.2823926380368125,6.805247085889572,6.910558282208591,74.54939570552149,65.87116564417178,9.710184049079755,31.637423312883435,9.642632912329526,2.955452024539877,677,25,121,13,10,223,102,163,0.056,0.851,0.093,0.7805,0,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,11,0,12,1,0,1,3,15,19,8,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,15,5,0,0,2,4,1,1,2,2,0,0,4,4,14,4,22,12,5,30,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,2,22,91,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284100977691402,0.16019153533355188,0.0,0.13823840428570902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559920044404565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138224401325982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354757716063747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012956227246612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204929815361826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185385544558387,0.0,0.06887730580508403,0.0,0.07492373690022053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165794941508483,0.0,0.11809648109521664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311755276424467,0.06440694887664218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104556994645861,0.0,0.09691243024720858,0.09775250545296192,0.2033554870131941,0.6366257062164121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649732734131205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139640886377337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462480535437265,0.0,0.0,0.13412156460405625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415393141479382,0.0,0.0,0.12540338066721682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029829816507658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758399300027347,0.08447326874981298,0.0,0.0,0.3074915500324644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895878498043858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019153533355188,0.0
mentalhealth,TightStand,2019/02/01,"Do I need a referral to get psych testing done? I think I might have autism traits. I don’t read people well and have trouble picking up on social cues. I think I’d benefit greatly from social skills classes, but the local ones are only offered to people on the spectrum. My psychiatrist admitted he didn’t know much about autism, but referred me to someone else. But those people didn’t accept our insurance.

Also, the therapists I’ve seen seemed to be in a disagreement about whether or not I have traits.

How can I find someone who can do psychological testing? Or do I have to get referred by someone?

I’m not wanting a label. I just want to know if I have traits so I can get the help I need if I do.

I’m also a woman, and have heard it’s harder to detect in females than males. Plus I’m an adult, so I’ve had to learn how to adjust my whole life.

Also, I have an older sister on the spectrum (with her, it’s really obvious she has it). So I’m not sure if it might be traits or if I just picked up behaviors from her (and I was also home schooled).",2.0665668759053597,3.791302431192662,3.932443264123613,87.30480685659106,77.44036697247707,6.607822308063737,24.31772090777402,7.475848149327749,1.105647706422018,822,28,172,11,19,278,112,218,0.04,0.889,0.071,0.6312,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,1,14,6,0,0,11,0,26,1,0,4,2,45,45,24,0,8,16,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,3,6,5,0,0,12,1,0,0,6,1,1,1,7,2,23,5,24,34,2,9,0,0,1,0,16,8,0,10,1,122,29,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4374998357244896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996324587784334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425382615672633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250053471699172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21437011719328045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507894620830555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916740809894706,0.0,0.13719151089520468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503304843884218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660473052044176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901828172178729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054172312513347,0.2028265169487458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267892497422482,0.10401978551061918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844573934790273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680706111713611,0.0,0.08761839571441643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841859159425754,0.0,0.12451031606734972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788396826007592,0.34765445655326244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890415276341174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880056867115352,0.0,0.17527344998890515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613410372152118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297269965287183,0.0,0.0,0.152698875591117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,momo137momo,2019/02/01,"I (F21) had a maniac episode and i think i might have PTSD I don't want to give many details, but i had a maniac episode a year ago and i put myself in danger a lot of times. I run away from home and i lived practically in the streets. I used to flirt with guys who looked ok to have a place to sleep. All this while i though that i was a witch, that i could do magic and read people's souls. 
A few very bad things happened. Bad men hurt me or tried to do it.

About that time I got arieta alopecia. I lost a spot of hair in the back of my neck. One year later im still having it, and it grows time to time.

I think i'm better now. I have a job, I love with my boyfriend and I'm calm.
But there is no night where i don't think about all the terrible things that i did before fall sleep. Passing by the places i used to go while maniac gives my anxiety. I'm afraid of guys with long hair.

I was reading a little about PTSD and the symptons seem to be the ones i have. But i don't know. I wasnt at war, i just went crazy.

Thank you all for reading and I hope you all are okay.",-0.693720630833603,1.1294415606694592,1.276171548117155,102.28556083038305,87.3682008368201,4.681107177341487,15.050048278081752,5.873414542411696,-1.0478369488252337,819,14,216,6,26,269,129,239,0.196,0.688,0.116,-0.963,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,2,10,20,5,1,16,2,21,6,5,2,4,32,43,15,1,3,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,11,11,0,0,5,3,0,7,5,12,0,2,9,3,33,8,26,31,6,32,1,2,1,1,9,10,0,5,15,137,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996724630588766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601731687809118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564233971201092,0.08646044941151304,0.18776764344784366,0.0,0.0,0.09567929813629196,0.0,0.0,0.09944522725374726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897752600785247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157279570431326,0.0639030043946134,0.0,0.08992961083270386,0.0,0.0,0.222669208023051,0.09943150509116608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278783132800428,0.1116796208855602,0.0,0.0,0.12037077939839395,0.0,0.12145594158634578,0.0,0.11158067937454212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179481954102144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269576148192255,0.09928776271400164,0.0995070470493716,0.09442240602385596,0.0,0.12274300448537513,0.09559360582038924,0.10148269881452301,0.0,0.0,0.11399786978893782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928249214944152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551858004482938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238632316890685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795266705732616,0.0,0.234954535514714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628758172517497,0.11303460260671165,0.0,0.0,0.33741530288006016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236237239145096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250450863878893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979579889392332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352087835223414,0.0,0.0,0.1494020592445327,0.21614361032214213,0.1104730450679396,0.0,0.2622617969415941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634028861151751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19422643073720985,0.0,0.09277588081746084,0.06632081523475163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423424812849016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481707208328484
mentalhealth,the_anxiety_man,2019/02/01,"If super-powers were ""translated"" into mental illnesses If superpowers were “translated” into mental illnesses, based on how people experience the illness

**Depression - aquatic respiration aka breathing underwater.** Depressed people sometimes say they feel like they’re “drowning” yet they’re still alive despite that. 

**PTSD - amnesia inducement.** It feels like everyone else can forget and move on except you.

**OCD - psychometry aka reading the history/future of objects.** Who knows where that couch has been?? You do. And you will never touch it again. But you have to keep touching the door handle, one day it could foretell a house fire and you have to be prepared.

**GAD - future prediction.** “What could go wrong?” There are endless possibilities and you know there are a LOT of bad ones.

**SAD - mediumship aka seeing/talking to ghosts.** You feel eyes on you all the time and hear judgemental whispers, though everybody else has no idea what you’re talking about.

**BPD - gravity manipulation.** You push people away a little further than you realised, or you pull them close. A little too close.  

**Bipolar - enhanced senses/physical abilities.** When you’re manic: everything is so much clearer, the sky is bluer, the birds are louder, but it’s so overwhelming. You’re running at 100 miles an hour, but your body and the people around you can’t keep up. And when you fall into depression, it’s the opposite. All your senses are dulled and you can’t move. You start wishing you could run like you did before..

**ADHD - cloning.** This clone wants to draw, this clone wants to run around, this clone wants to do schoolwork, but another clone is terrified of responsibility: you are babysitting all these clones and boy is it hard to tend to all their needs. 

**Schizophrenia - trans-reality manipulation aka create/manipulate alternate realities.** You’ve seen into other worlds, heard things that people from this reality can’t imagine. The fun part is that you don’t actively create these universes. Your mind just LOVES to surprise you.

**Dissociation - time travel.** “What day is it?” You started dissociating and when you woke up, it was 6 months later. Whoosh. Time travel. 

(I decided on the power based on how people experience the illness.)",3.1114239365537166,5.903050815789478,3.5811896178803164,78.65880677721705,100.05263157894736,6.397981254506128,24.416005767844272,7.410397764457081,2.234093006488825,1770,73,272,41,73,552,217,380,0.091,0.831,0.078,-0.4957,3,0,0,0,0,0,113.0,0,25,3,1,20,14,0,1,16,0,32,9,3,5,5,58,53,25,2,10,9,0,7,3,0,1,5,4,2,1,24,18,0,2,9,3,0,11,6,8,0,2,8,13,29,6,31,40,7,53,0,6,2,1,35,24,0,4,21,176,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147125483776312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008781943122394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994176518078705,0.0,0.0,0.08967857112686516,0.0,0.07969690000318516,0.0,0.0,0.08122105934679953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602361453036777,0.12021614019556545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22862756736547699,0.0,0.0,0.12311491879955795,0.0,0.2466332592255277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594727282873568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120672215088704,0.08578445276176139,0.18673715172995944,0.0,0.0,0.14478741265967754,0.13637923249974285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054246527864160544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550459864171726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107579271960533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399918459128098,0.11013667389820107,0.0,0.10775161694806412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16968098290751546,0.0,0.0,0.10491382781919267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989638630285872,0.19133228001772065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811483161221828,0.08614749965396426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238263043401307,0.0,0.09637745588009176,0.0,0.07618741027547081,0.20289683732444866,0.07016685319353368,0.07077508717841323,0.07361705081049354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935900282328328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336322608632076,0.0,0.3970387526224656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076057182852446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157613386455306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547599419295444,0.10864318335845216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759058015201444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440265287311536,0.0,0.13512023474954635,0.0,0.07622662428676626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343845250746027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341284769433053,0.0,0.09377930152563843,0.0,0.16697327469508094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16889693930771074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976297801720776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435977034136704,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Regailed-Lord,2019/02/01,"21 - Crushed emotionally For the first time in my life I feel as if I am trapped and isolated completely. 

To preface, this started two years ago when I was originally in university, I studied English Literature which turned out to be the wrong choice for me so I promptly dropped out halfway through and for the next six months lived at home again feeling beyond useless for doing so. My mother passed away in July 2017, whom I was extremely close and the sole person I lived with, as the rest of my family live 300 miles away. This was a sudden thing and it has truly destroyed who I was beforehand. Suddenly I was fully thrown into the adult world without preparation. Despite this I successfully got accepted into a new university on a different course much closer to home which helped and met an amazing girl who made the transition much easier but also served as a method to block out the grief. Until June 2018 I was self-contained in my grief and handled it well, but it became an outburst that I couldn’t handle. It gradually effected me more and more until I broke down. My girlfriend while being understanding, doesn’t comprehend the source of my issues and struggles to be supportive or accepting a lot of the time. Throughout January 2019 has been the hardest time of my life to the point I cannot describe it correctly. I feel as if I am far off my intended path and I’m not who I am supposed to be anymore. I’m trapped from my family, and isolated in my problems from everyone else. It had been incredible difficult and I’m truly struggling to find a way to feel normal again. I don’t know when or how but I’ve drifted so far away from me. ",7.067176511954994,7.131068889240506,7.388312236286922,73.36041490857949,64.22151898734178,10.946272855133618,35.9099859353024,10.62613485830676,3.855573699015472,1323,58,240,31,18,432,178,316,0.156,0.778,0.066,-0.9848,1,2,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,11,16,1,2,20,0,23,2,0,5,1,47,38,32,2,5,9,1,4,0,1,0,2,0,2,3,17,18,0,1,10,0,0,2,6,10,1,3,12,4,31,6,47,21,6,50,0,4,0,0,11,25,0,5,21,177,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741434935527913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690362459313943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017306519075023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415437775777259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704970941489574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266021114852806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122618546712726,0.13630559465029982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578793028057074,0.0,0.0,0.22846606061256805,0.0,0.2450789363940164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075177858505107,0.10307141529868892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691473792177016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122106573515636,0.0,0.2430968623727937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647524498864912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659462534406158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117900901191632,0.0,0.0,0.3209993042280708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030186739305995,0.0,0.11465873958573394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672074975613693,0.0,0.1781551735219531,0.0,0.0,0.11703159529712408,0.12887101495844855,0.0,0.11872579768424893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580535885220653,0.0,0.0,0.11454956689463168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594813493332448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641197951390995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576830715828257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533568943979533,0.0,0.0,0.1375079836296802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805033029865572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119743965486276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180363211252258,0.1183703930801268,0.12614747563731105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618309548528016,0.0,0.0,0.10895090099984453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680840101987205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248586866648035,0.0,0.07803274392935383
mentalhealth,tears007,2019/02/01,"Just Bad Memory or Something Else? My memory is pretty bad. I can get told to do something and forget it 3 seconds later. Its ridiculous and my mom thinks I am faking it and using it for excuses. I am not, I rather wish I was because this causes me to forget to do something for my school work or chores or at my part time job. It can get troublesome and it is hard to deal with it. 

My mom has bad memory too so I don't know why she doesn't believe me if she has it herself. It is worse than mine. My grandparents have bad memory too, but I am guessing it is from old age. 

Might this be genetic or something else? How can I fix it? I don't want to get in trouble for forgetting something at school or work and get fired. I'm already getting a second job so I don't know how I will deal with all this.

I used to have great memory and participated in many games to do with memory. I got many compliments for it and I was happy that my mom was proud of me. Now, it is no longer that. I don't remember when it started but could it have been during my depression... I have been dealing with anxiety for many years and so has my mom. Also, my dad's side of the family have mental health issues too. What could have cause my bad memory?  ",1.5764863498483344,3.280554771317832,3.6491236939669736,88.87958038422653,78.8062015503876,7.2776541961577355,21.294910684192786,8.18289091462,0.9832997640714528,953,26,211,18,23,325,122,258,0.157,0.768,0.075,-0.9249,3,0,5,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,13,13,1,0,2,0,38,1,0,6,1,43,55,23,0,6,11,5,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,21,12,0,0,4,1,0,0,7,9,0,2,7,2,34,4,24,43,2,13,0,1,0,0,14,5,0,8,8,154,55,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696595214083802,0.0702690435375942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721977023541774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668359554884194,0.05356430671387589,0.0,0.0,0.09899860551554276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053194153856406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031296428034354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271768154731607,0.07568169510533332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680704181291768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283535124435258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295404000669524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027710229676527,0.09687620804317043,0.09679793501414076,0.0,0.0,0.0935384985467712,0.07871362911263696,0.0,0.0,0.0934009517277508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917127149149432,0.17439343384538686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658133320232763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672570207717523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855158237248394,0.09321543622149088,0.0,0.4116458256728633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220404399109497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515388378274586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939466268887726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953878224219898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785683549878226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382303813301921,0.0,0.0,0.06219433932585632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056303096287381275,0.0,0.0,0.05123729259344036,0.0,0.0,0.08396287701491592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517817170036128,0.0,0.0,0.05182758685932783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928837162464306,0.0,0.10104535287216328,0.0,0.0,0.12793978668831765,0.0,0.0895463185811438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565849451302971
mentalhealth,Helexkant,2019/02/01,"I'm going back to therapy, and it feels good. I've been to therapy before, in grad school. Went initially for resolving issues with my dad, but something else happened that year that I needed more immediate help with. So we didn't really get to my dad as much as I would have liked.

Long story short: Dad's been at the forefront of my mind lately, and it all came to a head last time I went to visit my fiancé. I tried to give him the ring back because, well... because of my dad and what he did, I never really feel like I'm good enough. Especially not for him. On my drive home I decided I needed to go back to therapy. I've been thinking about it for a long time, but that was my ""wake up"" moment.

I had my first consultation with my new therapist yesterday. I found her online looking for clinics near me. I don't mean this in a creepy way, but as soon as I saw her picture, I felt immediately that I could trust her. So I reached out for an appointment.

It went well yesterday. We outlined some short-term and long-term goals for me. It felt easy talking to her, telling her why I was coming in. I'm not a person who opens up easily, so this was a huge indicator for going ahead. It made me realize how much I still have unresolved, and how far I need to go. I thought I was fine, and at peace... but talking with her made me realize how much I wasn't.

It's a little late for this probably but... 2019 is gonna be a great year. I'm going to the gym and getting in shape. I finally started my first full-time job and getting my career going. And now I'm finally going to learn to lay the past to rest.

Thanks for listening.",2.1764285714285734,3.7130323571428576,4.085833333333333,87.14250000000001,76.61904761904762,7.776190476190476,23.904761904761905,8.527137837955566,1.4291083333333336,1256,40,276,25,28,427,167,336,0.009000000000000001,0.8490000000000001,0.142,0.992,1,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,2,0,0,5,15,11,0,0,12,0,18,3,2,5,2,54,59,24,0,5,7,4,4,2,0,2,1,2,1,1,16,19,0,0,13,1,0,14,6,0,2,2,22,8,46,11,46,33,8,59,0,0,2,0,25,17,0,2,29,179,62,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028847306105158,0.0,0.10722720137181706,0.0,0.07483910759008053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059155186272377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576127445702045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022104550112405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734710724408414,0.0,0.0,0.09087602494775854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894048613229913,0.06283161126057786,0.16889189039607802,0.19269020072902146,0.0,0.14962072086474587,0.0,0.09643280992020856,0.0,0.0,0.13785098442002536,0.08436980674932118,0.3498887157474547,0.1475368414337632,0.0,0.09696536093962098,0.0,0.0,0.07777403526478051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026223689584643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058951137759585936,0.0,0.08822118063182834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091797115970075,0.08727696201105582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169111824783349,0.19842322069111545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593601044017628,0.08814916479087914,0.0,0.2334993696177965,0.07385598286128363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664411342421812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958035067725929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880458895606172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939604599215994,0.19564178576247465,0.06783258468159893,0.08494281174641853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395837866398365,0.0,0.07679468656244226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482514694474807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268624807109298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901025648130755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770832935949088,0.0,0.0,0.06225157531398725,0.0,0.0702371106964728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138201284263072,0.07687231564571581,0.08097269005659473,0.30173601571579106,0.10211691351570776,0.0,0.05635491070306235,0.0,0.06982260222648345,0.10256889013818424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971238485379397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981074257982638,0.0,0.0,0.1581555109068892,0.2445920359641617,0.07936133884877343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06247726963741659,0.0,0.0,0.1132740378496826
mentalhealth,FeelEuphoric,2019/02/01,"Complete anhedonia Hey, guys, I’m really struggling lately. Literally nothing I do is bringing me joy, and I feel on the cusp of crying constantly. I go to the gym, eat well, drink lots of water, play video games I like, read, jam to music, do dungeons and dragons... yet nothing works. I’m also not sleeping well. Does anybody know a good way to combat anhedonia, even if just a little bit? I can’t get into my psych until Thursday. :(",2.76774096385542,5.079338710843377,4.8056475903614455,79.08750753012049,77.55421686746988,6.559638554216868,27.24246987951807,7.6454224807358475,1.8886156626506017,335,14,59,5,8,115,66,83,0.126,0.701,0.173,0.5118,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,4,0,4,4,1,0,0,9,11,5,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,2,6,0,2,2,1,2,0,0,1,7,6,8,11,2,11,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,6,34,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631876204617398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134046255483007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049485081435096,0.211235619396816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21471664063914772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105872687504167,0.0,0.0,0.1914879890130117,0.0,0.20001649475919964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910730861488934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883643697941186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212597004782847,0.0,0.11109115290015473,0.16395250762199395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19354785638787786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742621275953253,0.0,0.2205007528058404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549766871634034,0.1959141387575032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16618317058916166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37512101009722215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955247402330295,0.0,0.12522426782509255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195613010203421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043496115570232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515645033046982,0.0,0.0,0.351505323760959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230582959955645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,greengremlinman,2019/02/01,"Would this be ""magical thinking""? Hello, I was wondering if this would be what ""magical thinking"" is.

There is a boy in one of my classes that I'm kind of interested in, but there's just something about him giving me weird vibes. I've also been growing a fear of getting harmed or sexually assaulted; I'm not 100% sure what caused this-it's just been a growing fear of mine these past couple of weeks. 
I am currently watching the Ted Bundy tapes, and along with relating to his childhood that was explained in the beginning, I also saw my birth date on the screen. 
So now my brain is like ""Hmmm, isn't it interesting that you saw your birth date, you had a similar childhood, and your fears you have are related to this documentary? That boy you've got your eye on must be dangerous!""

Sorry if this sounds really stupid, I'm just trying to distinguish if this is ""magical thinking"" as seen in certain mental disorders, or if it was me just taking note of these coincidences? Thank you. Again, sorry if this sounds dumb I just don't know if a normal person would think like this. ",7.342424242424244,6.799645859903388,7.482424242424242,74.93454545454547,63.83091787439614,11.198770311813787,33.79402722880984,10.637119530657019,3.430723671497584,851,31,162,19,11,276,117,207,0.18,0.727,0.092,-0.9731,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,7,0,0,13,17,4,3,8,0,22,2,2,1,3,35,41,15,0,11,15,0,0,2,0,4,0,2,0,3,17,4,0,0,8,0,0,2,3,9,0,1,10,8,19,8,19,24,0,20,0,0,6,0,15,6,1,9,14,110,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289908072639264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982842828700533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470781191426158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841821134964204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640886723301409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4833283190328316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480198799474883,0.13734459637268734,0.0,0.0,0.11450853446223512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909265689755655,0.07868414149110692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13989420057407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442847184985849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402791503873971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701773629723283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366748375277375,0.0,0.12501314908571287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172029576920486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022157718789698,0.0,0.3205409238298008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493886667219074,0.0,0.10764828472514264,0.0,0.0,0.1318144708577657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669579325754809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720507504019962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484475181886175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552650209924288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051179934421592,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dump-daughter,2019/02/01,"Psychiatrist Experimenting on Patient? So my boyfriend has dealt with extreme dissociation for a couple years now. I’ve finally pushed him to seek help. Today, during his appointment, he was diagnosed with “extreme ADHD”. Instead of prescribing a more legitimate ADHD medication (adderall, vyvanse, etc), he was prescribed Wellbutrin. For context, Wellbutrin is mainly prescribed to people with depression, but sometimes is prescribed to people with ADHD/people who smoke (in conjunction with a stimulant). My boyfriend doesn’t have depression, but he vapes. His psychiatrist said “I’m prescribing you Wellbutrin to stop you from vaping and get you to your “rawest form of ADHD”. My boyfriends next appointment isn’t until next month, and I don’t think he’s going to be mentally stable enough to survive and function until then. His dissociation interferes with work and college, and I’m worried that now he’s taking Wellbutrin, it’ll intensify his dissociation because he has nicotine withdrawals. In the past, nic withdrawals has made dissociation worse. I feel like this is almost unethical mental torture. Why is his psychiatrist trying to make his issue worse, rather than better? My boyfriend said he was gonna take it every day for a week and if it doesn’t get better he’s just gonna call the office and get stuff sorted out. I just want him to feel normal again, not worse. ",7.79881608339538,9.863539291139244,7.472375279225613,66.32014892032764,63.26160337552743,9.795879870935716,35.882104740630425,10.056822442137396,4.1076524695954335,1120,52,162,25,17,354,134,237,0.138,0.795,0.067,-0.9671,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,4,0,4,9,6,1,0,6,0,17,2,0,3,0,33,35,14,0,4,7,0,2,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,7,14,0,2,3,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,6,4,19,3,28,25,5,22,0,2,0,0,25,4,0,3,17,101,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5150801736916198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729238582718692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531590355571949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18952588061759876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094092122470352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855627518967403,0.0,0.06910104284161257,0.0,0.1845713536381037,0.1087520941937842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071164042475967,0.1194973869400192,0.0,0.0,0.09027608876292084,0.0,0.0,0.10481046527611376,0.0,0.0,0.10835362930479164,0.07654594000109764,0.0,0.11737445728259913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16793987884133826,0.0,0.060894190281731264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181847104361852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183377905395037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052346681607500584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138521692989184,0.07152154962068398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079394736036668,0.21595823669829015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552382688905652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22790440318364166,0.0,0.1049814501439862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022840714548886,0.22284701254941588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20384293790608846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597126366411486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957980884984561,0.0,0.0,0.12265784341736705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112263304630764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865556249311683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015629626903165,0.0,0.0,0.07274587642492568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631981607250524,0.0,0.08594697468636428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668363042181707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800439584620555,0.10881312424072408,0.3275762760894981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899924680400538
mentalhealth,uglymailman,2019/02/01,"Should I contact my ex? So, I've been struggling with PTSD for what feels like forever because I was sexually abused as a child. Now, that I'm in my late twenties I've been trying to go to therapy to work through this, and I've been trying to decide if taking anti-depressants were the answer for me. While I was dating my boyfriend he said he would support me in anything I chose to do. 

I've had really bad reactions to meds one other time when I was taking a small form of lithium when I was misdiagnosed with BPD II. He at the time didn't know I was taking it till I told him about it later when I wanted to get off of it because it made me so tired, shaky and more depressed then I had ever been. So, I've been un-medicated for a while now and I was just so scared to try it again. My therapist now has diagnosed me with anxiety and depression and let me know about medication options, but told me it was my decision whether I wanted to try again or not. I was scared and would often times schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist and cancel because I was worried about what would happen (probably a lot of my anxiety speaking).  I knew I was getting worse and worse and sometimes I would find myself trying to self medicate. I wanted to try and explain why I to him, but honestly I don't know if I would have been able to explain a lot my actions because I don't know why I do a lot of the things I do anyway. I would constantly ask if I had made him mad or upset and I couldn't get myself to stop. I would get drunk and yell because I felt like no one was listening and I knew that's not how I wanted to tell him things, but I didn't know how to any other way. I found a new therapist and we started talking all about my ""stuck points"" and how I need to assert my feelings even if I feel nervous doing so. I was doing more and more research about medication options and treatment plans. But I was too late. 

After one last drunken fight the next morning he came over to my house and told me he couldn't ""do this anymore"". I feel terrible and I know I have a tendency to blame myself for everything, but in this instance I don't know how all of this *couldn't* have been my fault. I miss him so much and feel so bad for all the bullshit I put him through and I just want to text him and let him know I finally made an appointment for today to get on some anti-depressants and am going to my therapist more often. I'm reaching out to my friends and family more and putting in a real effort to try and help myself. We haven't even been broken up for more than a week and I know I still have a lot to work on, but should I just message him to see what he says? Or is it even worth trying to reach out? Will I look pathetic? 

I'm just looking for some answers and a chance to vent out some of these feelings I've been having. 

What do you all think I should do? 

 TL;DR: My mental illness pushed my boyfriend away from me, I want him back, but am not sure how appropriately tell him I miss him and I'm putting in the work to make myself better. Please help.   ",4.460679184332727,4.540266114960634,5.51464566929134,84.52541086210381,69.74015748031496,8.65455279628508,28.722996163941044,8.463088693708992,1.8295164546739349,2393,79,518,34,39,794,244,635,0.158,0.774,0.068,-0.9955,0,0,0,0,2,0,52.0,2,1,0,6,40,23,2,6,21,0,65,7,0,9,6,137,128,64,0,24,22,1,7,2,1,11,6,5,0,2,22,39,1,1,27,1,1,8,13,16,0,3,41,15,95,7,74,71,19,59,0,4,3,0,43,17,0,19,35,384,117,4,0.0576853177289313,0.06834766873582346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03922799416950565,0.0,0.08825822034194909,0.0,0.05720833467983465,0.0,0.0,0.047470101383300704,0.0,0.053927985131055005,0.0,0.05419725489087241,0.044356448631385145,0.0963296615726528,0.17582217135897438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051017975783617546,0.0,0.0,0.07265263830931053,0.0,0.0,0.06597663593790863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233733538041032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19873711853121773,0.05854938322846636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430182495031152,0.052179672432584485,0.0,0.0,0.05184384400400413,0.0,0.054380583693030414,0.0,0.17500457936167338,0.04121040251162,0.055386951285600165,0.0631914459359895,0.052723335346598316,0.0,0.0,0.0632489734451828,0.04456753338275474,0.0,0.15069098819839435,0.0,0.06556779084804078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051010935959006576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733050503878337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656111168017399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853210782018949,0.04702123310587519,0.13014310198763585,0.0,0.0,0.11797429135536484,0.0,0.056364264888817885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096882276947574,0.0,0.0,0.1961679771466168,0.0,0.16374972722324033,0.0385053975178948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815076754568294,0.17433566642603268,0.058133232539234775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04240534588849111,0.042772932167995666,0.0,0.055712839322568666,0.061348989830379785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726719260264228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332115629056542,0.05453127079629985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219452908202632,0.0,0.06743104947825977,0.17396903132772756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565852049877156,0.03695469165413296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054871946965055284,0.04587367997716494,0.11550613266340423,0.0,0.0459677296866949,0.0,0.06017836709160348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057052254243668075,0.0,0.040829964793238506,0.0,0.04606756925348717,0.048227508598930005,0.0,0.06030521891554971,0.0,0.0,0.06546061495684863,0.05436772928182411,0.0,0.1301165397173613,0.04636527330951544,0.10083902055677177,0.0,0.06596818814832288,0.2009312999362943,0.0766471237590032,0.03696242236965741,0.0,0.0,0.10091031798232998,0.06630078687636325,0.0546789362398655,0.1653623794199295,0.0,0.3133163533939244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20414576982942145,0.045787920182699365,0.04627168235742218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410405374630337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598679500644086,0.05858224026568689,0.11757253392069475,0.2868459624940854,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,davisc843,2019/02/01,"Not sure if I should go back on Prozac This is going to be a long read. So for those who are short on time or just simply don't want to read a novel, I'll include a TLDR at the end. Thanks and I hope to hear constructive advice from all of you. :)

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The title says it all, but let me fill you in on the backstory. I feel like it's relevant to the decision.

​

My journey with Prozac started my junior year of high school. I was an antisocial kid, but decided that I wanted to change my life around for the better and started putting myself out there. I had met my first girlfriend (and first kiss, even), but she was very manipulative and it left me in pieces and extremely traumatized. I had lost fifteen pounds in two weeks because I couldn't force down a bite of food. None of my hobbies interested me anymore, and the only places I visited were my bed and the shower. It had gotten to the point where seeing her act as if I and what we had were nothing made me consider suicide. I realized that I needed help from a third party, so I started seeing a local therapist who was a family friend. He was my best friend's dad and friends with my dad as well, so the whole ordeal was strange and the sessions weren't that effective. But even still, having someone to talk to and who seemed to care about my feelings helped a lot. After a few months it became clear that I was still extremely depressed. I couldn't effectively kindle with rebounds because I had erectile dysfunction. I had tried to rebound with several girls, but each one ghosted me after realizing my issue. After mentioning all of this to my doctor, he suggested antidepressants. Being extremely sexually insecure, I jumped at Prozac once I heard that it improved premature ejaculation. Over about the next year and a half almost, I took Prozac and thrived. Despite not being able to afford college right out of high school, I was extremely confident and social. I'm not sure if this was a narcissistic coping mechanism to deal with my initial heartbreak and string of rejections afterwards or if it was the Prozac at work, and I don't know if I could know who to accredit. Either way, I was a butterfly receiving immeasurable amounts of admiration and validation from many sources. I excelled at my hobbies; I made some of my favorite songs in the studio, reached my best physique in the gym, and had become basically a public figure in the finsta community. My head was blown up. I decided to participate in my state's fashion week and almost got top model after showing up at the casting call. I even almost got signed to an agency, but they wanted me to treat my acne before we moved further. This whole time, I was operating on my time. I would talk to and see many girls, even though I rarely made any full sexual advances. Along the way I met who is my current girlfriend. God bless her for dealing with feelings that I can't imagine, all of which I put her through. She stayed with me for half a year before we made things official. Some nights I would have sex with her and then ""go hang out with friends"" and see another girl while leaving her in my room at my house. I've never shared this with anybody, not even a therapist yet, because I know how horrible it is. Thinking about it today makes me cry, especially because I did it to the girl I love today. I was numb and couldn't cry. It's almost like I had lost all empathy and became sociopathic. I haven't been able to find a therapist I connect with, so I'm still unsure. Anyway, a couple months into dating my girlfriend, I had still been talking to other girls to get my fix for validation. Eventually, I met up with another girl in another town a few hours away and we talked for a month. My girlfriend confronted me about this and the verbal cheating with others and I guess it had finally woken me up. Realizing that I would lose this girl I loved if I didn't change seemed to resonate and suddenly I stopped all of it. I stopped taking Prozac so that I could feel emotions for her again, because at the time I thought that that was what had made me so numb. My hobbies continued, but I wasn't the black hole I once was. I no longer sucked up everything around me and grew so viciously. Before knowing her, I didn't smoke weed much. If the girl I was talking to smoked and offered I would partake, but I never did it often or independently. Suddenly, I found myself smoking large amounts daily, eventually leading to doing mushrooms weekly at least. I was high almost all of the time that I wasn't at work. Despite this, I still kept up and really enjoyed my hobbies and passions. At this time, we were staying with my dad. Although my mom means more to me than anyone else and my relationship with my dad is beyond toxic, I felt like we would rekindle now that I was an adult. Plus, he offered financial support and the living environment with him was less stressful than with my mom. Eventually, his anger issues became a great issue and he kicked me out and for cooking myself dinner no less. I still have the texts of him yelling at me for cooking chicken breasts and still remember his words so well. He said I had a week to leave and he didn't care if I was homeless. Well, we were homeless and hopped couches for a couple months. We decided that we would rather be homeless for a few extra days than be around him, and we left the following day. He called and said that his girlfriend (who was complaining about me and was the reason we got kicked out) felt bad, so he was offering to let us back. I told him not to worry about it and we had it sorted out. He responded with anger and told me to fuck myself, throwing all of my bills that he helped with on me and telling me ""good luck with life"". He tried to blame me and make himself the victim. I resorted to selling drugs so that we could leave and go to our dream city and get a place. We moved up to a nearby town and stayed with family of a friend, until we eventually got our own place where we live today. This entire time I hadn't spoken to my dad nor had I heard from him. Eventually, he called me and asked for information to continue my health insurance. Considering that I may not be here today if I didn't have insurance, I cooperated. He sounded very calm and it made me feel like we were on ok terms, even though he was the issue and I was just hiding in fear. Once we were relatively sound in our new apartment, I asked him if he would cosign for my student loans. He said he would pay them in cash, but only if they were in-state prices, which they weren't. Eventually, I just wasn't making enough at my job and he convinced me to come work for him in telecommunications labor. I am about two weeks in, and I now remember why we struggled in the first place. I don't believe that he believes in me at all, despite raising me saying that he wanted me to go to college and do better than he did. I have big dreams of being a nutritional doctor and a bodybuilder and a musician/producer and a chef; I have so many passions. But it seems that because he can't align with them, they are null. It makes me feel unaccepted, and I don't know how much longer I can work for him. The work is hard, but the most difficult part is feeling so unapproved of the entire time. I can feel the love, but I do not feel accepted and supported. I am here writing this now, looking back on my past, realizing how I've degraded and atrophied in every regard and I know it is my fault. But where specifically to put the blame and find a solution, I'm not so sure of. In the last year, I've lost 30 pounds of muscle and gotten fatter, and haven't been to the gym in months because I am too embarrassed by the way I look and feel like a failure. My anxiety has increased where it had previously minimized. I am broke and not satisfied with my work life. It feels as though I work so many hours and do the same bullshit every day, and yet I'm still scraping the last of my bills and living with no extra time or money. Even though it's only coming up on two years since I graduated high school, I still feel like an absolutely failure and that I am running out of time for education. All in all, I feel mentally disgusting. In my disgusting past just a year ago, I remember existing with such clarity and drive. I felt intelligent and I felt confident. I felt like somebody who was worth something and mattered. And yet today, my mind feels foggy and my days blend together. Thinking of how I've fallen apart makes me upset and anxious and makes me feel like I'm worth nothing, like nobody looks up to me. At first, I tried blaming my increase in weed smoking. I had done some research and read that chronic use causes lethargy and memory issues, so I decided to cut it for a bit. I saw no increases, so I've fallen back into frequent (but not daily) use. Next, I thought that it was my girlfriend and relationship issues. I felt as if she was very needy and I was giving all of myself to her and leaving none for myself. Seeing as that happened with my first relationship, it seemed very clear that that was the issue, that I just couldn't balance a relationship with myself. Retrospectively, that was foolish of me to think. My first relationship was abusive and manipulative--of course she was dragging me away from my hobbies. I don't think that was my fault. Even if I do give all of myself up and follow that pattern, it isn't currently necessary because she and I are very close and love each other very much. She is very supportive of me and I of her. I know she would be ok if I had time for myself. Now I am at the final block, and consider that I need to be on Prozac again. As you can imagine, I am afraid that it will make me numb and emotionless again and I will lose the girl I love. I'm not sure how much of that was me mechanistically coping with trauma and how much of it was the medication, though currently as I see Prozac as more of a helping hand, it becomes seemingly clearer that it wasn't largely at fault. As an alternative, I've considered microdosing with LSD. But I know--or at least think that I know--that Prozac works for me. 

​

As for my dad, I know that he shouldn't be in my life. But he provides a lot of connections and assistance with problems that I don't know how to or have the means of taking care of. More importantly, he's offering to pay for my tuition and if I can talk with him and convince him that I very desperately want to go to school and I have it all set up, I think that would be good for me. Without him, there is no other way. I don't think our relationship will ever be healthy, but I need what I need and I'll do what I must. At worst, I want to minimize our actual time together until I can become self sufficient enough to minimize it even further.

​

​

TL;DR: I'm unsure what my next move is for my depression and ultimately, my lifetime success. I think Prozac is the right move for me, but I was at least briefly living a good life off of it and I'm afraid that it will make me too emotionless and numb again. I feel as though I don't need it anymore and it belongs in my past, but I think I should be the bigger person and accept the help that it offers. Regardless, I know that I will not make it without something right now. Life is too heavy and simply put, I can no longer walk on my own anymore. ",5.585427371173727,5.973781281822244,6.168783327184109,79.7333170055214,67.35640911121035,9.366139127845637,30.740046345741824,9.2995712137729,2.5180095319468445,8986,325,1776,161,138,2928,665,2239,0.128,0.747,0.125,-0.0294,6,0,5,0,1,1,260.0,25,3,6,30,98,104,11,8,91,2,177,44,3,31,24,419,335,189,2,51,60,8,24,9,11,20,27,12,5,13,112,172,4,4,75,12,12,38,54,43,3,13,117,47,316,61,263,176,63,273,1,10,11,11,190,114,2,42,121,1281,428,31,0.04780983156846763,0.028323416243560662,0.02332774947985394,0.0,0.0,0.023359607039254927,0.021190265502639357,0.0,0.11968660049989685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540579758909412,0.17428253520758616,0.016256162467770126,0.07519916552331858,0.01828719514430706,0.02700575057242851,0.07112175904641825,0.016714872933312933,0.02449341117319868,0.0,0.06384132955327522,0.04469573866366105,0.0,0.044918910561991335,0.07352561870274019,0.019959606170835868,0.11657771827729935,0.07920330410951165,0.061023967956422974,0.053865308129932,0.05017346859890112,0.04228391079755789,0.026097976717476632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322877523654366,0.0,0.07311796446344299,0.02455693342251899,0.05057646244200335,0.04118393652443612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725839027902956,0.05290066927297959,0.05251685500122371,0.06166677230595932,0.049289837024430766,0.04117853787348871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048935388486352135,0.0,0.024463028456758948,0.0,0.0,0.02772211300124041,0.0,0.019969489725931284,0.026889812743561867,0.021172660029917075,0.04940033638379149,0.0,0.14210074280570598,0.021623364909096218,0.0402818451175613,0.0,0.021484196909001482,0.0,0.045070854236706114,0.026899676219452492,0.19339269892578587,0.08538838306342332,0.13771480766555833,0.052373333557151534,0.04369731990545112,0.12200105492542435,0.02890591905420224,0.026210506298174237,0.09234439318095776,0.02209970944384305,0.024978663716496617,0.045863546919530485,0.08151428717508304,0.060150927596303624,0.07647577963307149,0.026355254043884,0.02633395980036921,0.0,0.021139038080801226,0.0,0.021414109138697447,0.0,0.02453334016299461,0.025409807634382903,0.02694257744519132,0.0,0.08011480578086749,0.101027423987973,0.0,0.023742975192669026,0.047083053537758386,0.02758306327957568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746536497064748,0.023721940326835854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765019856950116,0.038971393821517486,0.0,0.10124741687258593,0.051945521888819284,0.04888879199395038,0.10130849382451512,0.1051086093141608,0.0,0.08443391438335199,0.02115509822521662,0.060222325955614026,0.05348697224382151,0.07828511829090742,0.04064620910375503,0.10787559902747944,0.13571645587035028,0.14361045219620336,0.09694333032127353,0.0,0.05207892251045988,0.0,0.02408168772792392,0.024090532614310583,0.0,0.02413715041660165,0.0559942969014544,0.09540337856387864,0.1016285693958559,0.08786431818137322,0.08862596077960656,0.03687388948822701,0.023087516625371767,0.0762694473956683,0.02243314410009763,0.0,0.04587482282823262,0.0,0.0,0.07637386541446944,0.016198589599479958,0.05454229695201141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025886694277287788,0.06845984104095931,0.0,0.020872850407207717,0.09990219637022804,0.0,0.02259787216772165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02287377597611678,0.0,0.09612417178079302,0.0,0.0,0.07173415438182243,0.0,0.01531410117173229,0.024578234784294058,0.0,0.15398960032365078,0.08123882879611573,0.061244002396484684,0.06821714724431796,0.03802029700937341,0.0,0.0967722039847564,0.11429473740092624,0.10881068762059212,0.02493804063136847,0.02700575057242851,0.0,0.019774393363301838,0.0,0.0,0.024368051224996044,0.02025455756959751,0.036806344118442816,0.0,0.0,0.05076006729002101,0.07643837872722159,0.17181446962074914,0.039971159973783935,0.02738300026456017,0.024990608291353647,0.0,0.026148097943118957,0.08138104543764019,0.0901204008943304,0.0,0.03594704333253525,0.1152831948315058,0.020893950047234242,0.022008434727397982,0.0,0.08326634909015569,0.015881363843505206,0.13785574316708876,0.14091875031673773,0.03795566585535416,0.16726978358432584,0.0,0.11329532517508514,0.04568434290899148,0.02655924101220478,0.04868960597283359,0.0,0.07005488760323794,0.0,0.02875467035378485,0.04129234403006892,0.0,0.15779247237840885,0.08459843210731519,0.07589843786913482,0.09587540759910168,0.0,0.06448017046499982,0.0,0.021570468323472626,0.05337796955867724,0.0,0.04608697153418466,0.0,0.1392245071767609,0.024276602351115117,0.0,0.16981366307579393,0.0,0.17428253520758616,0.09236389206957722
mentalhealth,Awolfx9,2019/02/01,I honestly don’t know what to do with myself on better days. When things don’t seem so bad. Feels foreign to me since they bad days stretch further and further most of the time.,1.5175000000000018,3.941136861111115,2.0144444444444467,96.65000000000002,83.16666666666667,4.711111111111111,22.88888888888889,5.985473137389443,0.2436888888888893,141,5,30,1,4,43,29,36,0.205,0.6609999999999999,0.134,-0.6227,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,6,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,2,5,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,4,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.587234635127181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110103565725105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4535768920565386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778073832248939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932604448753253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201335932979492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908927303517434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23362402098869234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20505291514399693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sweet_disposition11,2019/02/01,"3 months!! After seeing my psychiatrist every month, yesterday she decided I was doing so good that I don’t need to see her until 3 months. She even lowered my clonazepam dosage! Just feeling really good about my mental health so I’d thought I’d share. ",3.19125,5.861560624999999,4.379000000000001,80.76600000000002,78.16666666666666,7.173333333333334,24.18333333333333,8.238735603445708,1.8497033333333333,202,7,35,4,5,66,37,48,0.03,0.726,0.243,0.89,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,8,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,8,3,4,6,0,6,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,6,20,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16397010281341146,0.0,0.2091655659050396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552519998357733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4164490735607301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638834828877701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501826752235499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5944643779348658,0.0,0.0,0.18407795557768666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903852609353064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956542268386201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970867596746864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sensitivetheswan,2019/02/01,"Is vistaril addicting? my psychiatrist said I can't get addicting to vistaril, but I take it almost every day to feel sort of sedated. I did not tell her this. it makes me really sleepy and my head fuzzy almost like alcohol. I know I should probably consult my psychiatrist but she recently prescribed me with a new med for my anxiety and I'm not really supposed to be taking vistaril anymore. 
anyone familiar with it? I just don't want to become dependent like I have with other meds. 
I am taking 20mg capsules once or sometimes twice a day. ",3.4251923076923063,5.8913357500000085,5.712153846153848,72.63284615384616,76.11538461538461,10.313846153846157,29.63076923076923,10.355215969177356,4.0083030769230765,434,20,74,16,10,152,71,104,0.035,0.902,0.063,0.5571,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,8,4,1,2,0,20,18,5,0,2,6,0,1,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,5,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,16,2,9,14,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,5,6,49,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35506810493011004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17404056988914413,0.3261479599623961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458227079803985,0.0,0.1615066384836343,0.11387076091770572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17985859144984764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100537142529956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721086522782003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234348336982555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508408814870967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713439123101986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089499873064936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912371866337333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870579175910457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617864390080983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572846587778512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173433368865947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755833198139117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20865589109210825,0.0,0.1607979121819192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491070926946882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106600292380896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673360718937476,0.0,0.14234089603596708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605505104085672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NoNameTadashi,2019/02/01,"please help Hi. I'm not really sure what to say in this post.

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I guess a bit of context first. I'm an 18 yo male, and I hate myself. I'm not really good at anything. I need help, but I don't want it, yet at the same time I know I need it. I'm too afraid to tell anyone. I want someone to talk to, but there's no one. The world's no longer very colorful, and happiness seems so far away. The things I formerly found calming are now dull and boring. I hate myself for how I live, for who I am, for depending on my parents so much, and for losing control like this. The only solace I can find now is Reddit and cutting my wrists, which I started yesterday, but already it feels exhilarating.

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These thoughts started right after New Year's, and they're not getting any better. Every morning I wake up and the first thought I have is, You should kill yourself. No one gives two fucks about you. As of right now, I'm sitting alone at school, my three aforementioned friends either at home or hanging out with others. I'm forcing myself to eat, even though I'm not hungry. I feel ashamed of my life. Every time I consider asking for help, I tell myself that I'm being stupid and greedy; that I got myself into this mess, therefore I should get myself out; that my mental health is my business, not anyone else's.

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I imagine I sound like a greedy, narcissistic fuck right now, complaining about stupid shit, even though my parents are the best, and I'm not struggling with any mental illnesses or anything. I feel like I have no reason to not feel happy, and I'm just spoiled.

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I think I just want someone to talk to. To genuinely ask me how I'm doing, or what's going on in my life. My parents and friends rarely ask anymore, and when they do, I can't help but lie so as to avoid burdening them. Crying myself to sleep is now kinda common. I'm probably going to regret posting this later. Sorry for ranting.",3.8154894760412006,5.199773275324682,4.544469323779669,86.12675324675327,72.0909090909091,6.972682489923869,26.52261531571877,7.372421405659032,1.3104384236453197,1521,51,301,16,29,488,195,385,0.242,0.636,0.122,-0.9941,3,2,0,0,0,0,71.0,0,2,2,6,22,32,9,4,9,0,17,11,4,6,1,65,60,29,1,8,17,3,4,3,2,2,4,2,1,1,17,17,1,2,13,0,0,3,13,20,0,6,4,7,48,12,41,53,5,44,0,3,1,2,26,18,3,7,23,192,65,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100578761506257,0.07565585802794751,0.0,0.0,0.2971318292772054,0.33322365896684625,0.0932440751762846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799147359595642,0.09587520249295743,0.07024614441709216,0.11283538186745183,0.0,0.19227844321853915,0.0,0.06441283854020277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194777191674791,0.06063430045331645,0.07484797558519724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689403338038893,0.0,0.0,0.07530814215016657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015232063461012,0.057271714801340724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056430392030658,0.0,0.11552675490996613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386606724752281,0.04897810799647711,0.0,0.0,0.06266110144913166,0.11663141654338155,0.0,0.07517070601751565,0.10593604187882764,0.12676220312397088,0.07163782971540485,0.06576742858738127,0.07792659487711281,0.057503501885648726,0.05483238556000702,0.0,0.07552476582905683,0.0,0.0,0.1459633038187117,0.0,0.1353743789276686,0.0,0.07287433359419207,0.0,0.0,0.1838129014218532,0.0,0.06876962767423805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584967053780026,0.0,0.03767788317229247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684959814365736,0.10048245896487523,0.0,0.060538290292976464,0.0,0.0,0.07669927128777736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381814089628522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050398284995368726,0.10167031445321974,0.0,0.06621409388956434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291384171130752,0.052141724175511064,0.0,0.0,0.2283778452593961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525649453160857,0.0,0.0,0.13131992032924694,0.0,0.07391751054386328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784048533873366,0.07048941521317896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564540139397694,0.0,0.05452036173351831,0.0,0.06938472318743323,0.0,0.06241295851092365,0.0,0.0,0.0703741740798358,0.0,0.0,0.0686078747085957,0.0,0.11617855643521985,0.0,0.0,0.07674547406330244,0.09705192394428673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716720862885083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461544547005044,0.0,0.0,0.1102092299534958,0.11984606162718095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045547129805748564,0.04392943053934069,0.13471648648457002,0.10885536384738316,0.07995386521973114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697155841765029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656782922274457,0.12131249578198194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33322365896684625,0.04414933779105322
mentalhealth,celldman,2019/02/01,"suicidal long distance partner i wrote this in other subreddit, i just thought i'd post it other places too. i'm really scared and desperate.

​

​

my boyfriend lives in the north of england and i live in the south. he's a brilliant person and i genuinely love him. he has a great sense of humour, outward confidence, he's doing great with his studies and has landed some part time jobs too, i'm really proud of him.

unfortunately, he has been raped and systematically abused as a child, he's killed someone, and he doesn't know how to accept love. he attempted suicide once before, and nowadays he uses alcohol, cigs, cocaine, mdma, weed and whatever else he can get his hands on to cope, but he still lapses into these dark weeks. he says he feels ready to kill himself, he's written a letter, and recently he's started cutting himself too though i don't know how badly. every time he goes into a dark time i feel i get closer and closer to losing him. i am also suicidal for my own reasons, if he goes i'm going to give up too. he knows this.

i've got the direct emergency number for his town's services and he's promised to call to say goodbye if he does anything. i'm so worried, it's eating me up and i don't know how to talk to him about it. he won't talk about things with me. i don't know what to do. if anyone can help me i would be really grateful",4.308390651719556,5.200928906137186,5.516728101843056,81.47707961238837,70.40794223826714,8.142048261447844,28.65836975109253,8.371475516178862,1.9919140794223815,1085,39,213,16,19,362,150,277,0.14800000000000002,0.7170000000000001,0.135,-0.7757,1,0,2,0,1,1,40.0,0,0,0,3,14,15,4,1,8,0,16,6,1,5,0,38,39,23,5,4,5,0,3,0,1,2,1,2,0,3,10,16,2,0,10,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,5,5,25,8,28,31,3,26,0,1,0,3,43,16,0,4,8,118,35,2,0.0,0.12139352240424604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949422949490184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193396957827659,0.0,0.22202191300128968,0.24899033671713136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716395679273174,0.0,0.08431249993440053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554642130891091,0.0,0.0,0.08718244952764384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461895898985338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896598740958455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048379937394399,0.08558878200285375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632353925305143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360959253636297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070579886063724,0.09828506319007327,0.058228065671658336,0.0,0.08194336612184001,0.2259160473252024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867404967564697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167170053833582,0.0,0.2267046111389035,0.0,0.281535496217309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18094092515594604,0.09067027325669856,0.0,0.11462197758174407,0.0,0.0,0.1849409525292138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911222081597237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094978708425564,0.0,0.0,0.08946056548259472,0.10704463939850344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812445875489068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19690767537064605,0.10534175924566838,0.10116286972607956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295413438598802,0.10257625872726732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681057634324141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251883403734441,0.0,0.08182143742016505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362104718785208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470038988550267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806716679118252,0.0,0.10066243025822877,0.08133856335969968,0.17922862876502146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848902701272182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218396637124466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404896944870033,0.0,0.07278175251131701,0.0,0.24899033671713136,0.0
mentalhealth,StarchyMotel,2019/02/01,"[20 m] I need help I have this problem where when I get angry or am in a stressful situation, I get stuck in a thought loop. And all I can focus on is that thought. Usually “I need to leave” or “I need to get away from _____” and the blank is whatever the situation may be. If I don’t execute that thought I feel like I’m suffocating and I’m trapped. And the longer I don’t do it the worst that feeling gets. What is wrong with me?",-0.6095948616600779,1.4327992065217394,2.0370355731225342,95.35460474308302,89.54347826086956,5.954150197628458,22.49407114624506,7.348242739294969,0.7390521739130431,325,13,81,6,11,112,56,92,0.241,0.6890000000000001,0.07,-0.9468,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,6,0,11,0,0,0,1,19,26,8,0,5,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,2,11,1,8,20,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,3,53,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17475982436767912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18810159059634307,0.13288353293083446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887241991775277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467666034057474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969546964625882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087368956616723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137657965382561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779837054015405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41815962161229797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130705423182684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4430066590430203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20486057803206967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336959996951912,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tammyburbon,2019/02/01,"What makes someone so angry at the world that they hate everything, everyone, and get irate by completely irrational things like a letter on a sign being out? I'd like to understand what might cause someone to be so angry that they say, ""everyone in this world deserves to die"" and get mad that the news is reporting on certain things like the royal family instead of something they deem more important? What drives someone so hate-filled that they curse the F word every other word at how terrible and stupid the world is? ",15.2253125,9.060190072916672,12.869166666666665,59.79250000000002,54.52083333333334,16.966666666666665,48.66666666666667,13.5591,6.200191666666665,421,16,72,10,3,130,62,96,0.292,0.608,0.1,-0.9797,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,4,0,5,8,3,0,7,0,5,0,0,3,1,14,10,7,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,11,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,4,11,7,1,10,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,3,47,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923058898730997,0.0,0.0,0.1962755600466928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19428396740207396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772401092962673,0.35775510179643016,0.16824322213643178,0.0,0.17647542920368142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956084691518073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696423402218681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27436928300051394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495740376725226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985895377816426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886889425131464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4758416676532851,0.14411564825480205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24873462445625344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488172419453684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adisathe,2019/02/01,"Need some advice on how to continue battling with clinical depression without it feeling like a battle To start, I am 19 and I've been depressed for around 2 years and have been on medication for over a year. Things got unbearable last September when I had to take a year off from college just so I wouldn't kill myself. Anyway, now, I feel much better and I don't have emotional breakdowns twice a day. But the thought that I'm not doing good enough and things should have been so much better by now keeps eating me up. I also have chronic anxiety which makes every disturbing thought stay with me through the day. I can't help but feel like a terrible daughter and person, in general, for not being able to deal with my shit. 
Thought maybe I could find someone here who had a similar experience.",6.7103921568627465,6.977362130718955,6.619084967320262,77.88588235294121,64.94771241830065,10.198692810457516,33.99346405228758,9.994966539143718,3.27223660130719,638,26,119,13,9,202,104,153,0.199,0.759,0.042,-0.9581,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,2,11,13,4,1,8,0,17,5,1,2,0,31,30,12,1,4,6,1,3,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,6,9,1,1,7,0,0,0,6,8,0,1,9,3,12,5,21,17,4,19,0,2,0,0,5,7,1,1,13,88,18,1,0.13989204065849473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670088308184547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187161437299603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701702820239513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453357502099208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474462835126746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169241134685848,0.0,0.0,0.18043758648990976,0.1442225512800159,0.24097761926669264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314448167987673,0.0,0.15735971678689742,0.0,0.14454587349984618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786507774902175,0.0,0.0,0.1368412589420273,0.0,0.0,0.21220085712735431,0.19987780359636007,0.0,0.0,0.12785879080386278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733480657143115,0.11188444429571766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376668605572948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434247338827653,0.15476981625845498,0.0,0.0,0.11403068427862005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366883696916539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337902341904353,0.0,0.1405403576097026,0.0,0.0,0.14092651357432429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205673492136982,0.10372817558266294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214833401544935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143597169433303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853007208311203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901630639846434,0.14910630211367673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518140479591884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858761115547001,0.0,0.0,0.33317596257080645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485093513567653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27025766293006515
mentalhealth,copingmethods,2019/02/01,"I am 23/F. Because of a depressive episode, I lock myself in my room every day. I have no job, was halfway done with my bachelor’s in music but stopped going due to depression and crippling social anxiety. Plus I realized that it simply was not for me.

Stopped responding to “friends” because I don’t want them to see me and what I’ve become (gained weight and can hardly hold a conversation). I’ve deleted all social media accounts. I’m basically in hiding. I plan to just stop responding altogether.

I live with my sister and her boyfriend, and it’s become hard to even speak to them.

Music was my main pillar, but that’s gone now and I feel like I’m in the midst of an identity crisis. I am at the lowest of lows and I just want to move to a place where no one knows me. This is impossible due to my lack of funds and lack of willingness to even leave the house. I started therapy on Wednesday and was referred to a psychiatrist on Monday, however I just don’t see a future for me anymore. It’s like my body and mind have given up on itself.

I don’t know where to go from here.",3.2169064171122983,4.603785722727274,4.904331550802136,82.95061497326205,73.5909090909091,8.085561497326204,27.032085561497325,8.671277953709913,1.9522192513368983,849,31,173,16,17,288,124,220,0.182,0.738,0.08,-0.9686,3,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,2,9,7,0,0,9,0,14,2,1,0,1,34,28,13,0,4,6,1,4,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,8,13,1,4,5,0,2,4,6,3,0,1,7,7,27,3,32,21,4,29,0,3,2,0,12,14,0,0,13,119,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854752509307798,0.0,0.1407194280630884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299294260468207,0.3134186725534493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761079933367514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915090512988547,0.0,0.2444239446151625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520549347828055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874375767516116,0.0,0.11955071729671884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174521117717675,0.10136817133621184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962594599025256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128177964160886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542159725136733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163725121860242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080660771454154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559610312946116,0.0,0.0,0.15024387880237153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864320929353424,0.0,0.12529385135214216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327117525932342,0.0,0.0,0.15080948171136682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615016393421057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824766840647502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22614021775223794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892834719531174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043238149992527,0.0,0.0,0.35588594554953706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226666548750926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673839784165875,0.0,0.0,0.1727870792534429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,trinketsandbiscuits,2019/02/01,"How to improve fear of suspense? For as long as I could remember I was always averse to suspense. That’s why I can only really watch comedies, romcoms, feel good shows. That in itself is fine but I see it encroach in other areas of my life I’d rather not put up with. For example, when I’m at my desk at work I’m riddled with anxiety until my boss comes to talk to me. It’s never a bad conversation but just not knowing when to expect him gives me unnecessary anxiety. But besides that I feel like I am in a healthy headspace in my life right now and I am looking for suggestions on how I can build tolerance  towards suspense or any tips on how I can overcome this.
Thank you!",3.661521739130436,4.7650495,5.097797101449277,83.09321739130434,72.1159420289855,8.128695652173914,30.46666666666667,8.548686976883017,2.296852753623189,533,23,108,9,10,179,89,138,0.044,0.78,0.17600000000000002,0.9557,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,8,6,0,1,2,0,8,2,0,4,1,23,18,13,0,3,8,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,5,17,4,25,16,0,20,0,0,3,0,6,12,0,1,7,76,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17699939936075726,0.0,0.0,0.14465633768718858,0.0,0.3254591828042014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776116310399903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323873918515804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698389570939595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393682183351675,0.21511441905116105,0.1519666255732237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040596218165712,0.0,0.17841875682160066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169048989162113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30049969711106417,0.1039238470875624,0.0,0.0,0.188249781505312,0.1786305375374818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406214628527627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178252281799327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21384153056713195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627335448116676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24096936520620724,0.1816610184916153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950964659419238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097562021241067,0.0,0.1958432423522423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19194597470697367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486209740785548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DietCokeTrash,2019/02/01,"Medication that does more good than harm? Im bipolar with a possible chance if bpd. Anxiety is so crippling I was homeschooled in highschool. Lately everything has been worse and just about intolerable. Most daily activities are more daunting than ever, like exercise or reading or talking to people in general. Every single minor inconveniences have become the worst that could happen where actual bigger issues will ""work themselves out"". But the minor inconveniences are unbearable. If I miss place something and i can't find it in 2 seconds I actually cry and I'm ALWAYS misplacing things! It's just as painful to be this was as it is to witness. I just don't know what to do anymore but of this is how it's going to be the rest of my life then what even is the point? What is the point in a miserable existence? Jesus Im stupid, I don't know what to do here now. In a bad place at this very moment. ",3.0323185613358987,5.659782023121393,4.528275529865123,79.71556037251126,78.47976878612718,7.543866409762366,25.796082209377012,8.515128840125781,2.182440205523442,722,28,129,16,18,240,111,173,0.16,0.809,0.03,-0.9711,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,11,9,1,1,8,0,21,5,0,1,1,22,27,14,0,3,9,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,14,5,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,7,0,1,3,0,7,2,21,20,6,19,1,2,0,0,1,13,0,5,6,98,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.2964519878093765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126387431015992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619799322411425,0.0,0.1506373833448064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682459853974815,0.0,0.16775426596989715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19130435083035016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127447636017215,0.0,0.16684770719154518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292288985729325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032412187496778,0.13739622666912374,0.12797669432324985,0.0,0.13651194440470793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882776560915733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632448838376983,0.12740093130931074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343187834052234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32814175539746976,0.15853718911756506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695322018680275,0.0,0.17134230924138485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072867616390668,0.0742074159693894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301656516229895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616252284259208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530372031211194,0.0,0.3173924334841388,0.0,0.2871766147081074,0.17123692416595834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193444956103486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693491786821784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208611714534152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091118915257992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532791723632958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058016424809763,0.0,0.15479229523241855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The-Rarest-Pepe,2019/02/01,"Eddie, the voice in my head I'd like to start by saying that: A. I am not, nor have I ever exhibited signs of schizophrenia or other related mental illnesses (however I *do* have is anxiety and depression), and B. this is not something I am making up for attention, or notes, or any other outwardly selfish desires. All I want is to share my situation and potentially speak to others who have experienced a similar thing.

​

About a week ago, I decided to try manifesting my inner voice as a separate person. Not in a ""Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde"" way, just me treating the voice in my head as if it were a different person. My reasoning for this is that I find that I respond to other people telling me to take care of myself (working out, getting to bed, etc) a lot better than I do when I just tell myself to do these things. So, on a whim, I decided to try doing what I've described above. I call/called him Eddie because he acted a bit like Freud's ""Id"" in my thoughts. Creative? No. Clever? Hardly.

​

After a few days of getting used to him (it? I'm not sure if you can assign gender to an omnipresent voice in one's mind), It felt more or less fairly natural to hear him pipe up in my thoughts throughout the day. He isn't always talking, and to be quite honest I prefer it that way. When I have a headache or I'm tired he talks a lot more, and I can't always get him to shut up. For some reason or another, he has a habit of pointing out my insecurities and trying to make me second guess myself. I suppose that's what happens when you create a co-pilot whose job is to shame you into being healthy. 

​

At times it gets almost surreal, for instance; several times while writing this I'd hear him casually mention how ""pretentious you sound right now"" and that ""this belongs on a pre-teens tumblr page"". I'm well aware that I would've had most of these thoughts anyway, albeit subconsciously, even without Eddie critiquing me. It just becomes so much more apparent how critical I am of myself when I'm hearing my exact thoughts from ""someone else"".

​

Is this a semi-common thing to do? I've never met anyone who has described anything close to this, and a quick Google search didn't get me anything that quite fits either.",5.71871632996633,6.103466375,6.507828282828286,77.43016835016836,67.06818181818181,9.063973063973064,31.97811447811448,8.94667605116694,2.662536195286196,1775,69,330,28,27,587,238,440,0.056,0.8590000000000001,0.085,0.8847,4,0,1,0,0,0,87.0,0,4,0,4,18,15,0,2,21,0,28,5,2,7,5,62,55,28,0,5,17,0,2,2,0,0,3,10,1,3,34,12,0,0,12,1,0,1,11,4,1,2,9,13,45,11,51,44,15,42,0,1,0,0,33,22,0,14,19,235,79,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430773597625715,0.0,0.0726444348126215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072832505971558,0.3930183177465122,0.3526057836323072,0.049333832265305626,0.07607090594666524,0.05549756405552882,0.0,0.0,0.05072591635712593,0.0,0.1193985096021708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0442234261219927,0.08012146219510201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416112557141565,0.07920154639180678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407767406516254,0.0,0.07396557872687314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357245928479886,0.0,0.062483845262032774,0.0,0.0,0.07579522855464715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060602953404043765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090807254323533,0.04791601150402007,0.06562209620824352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965562788154372,0.0,0.06630581648445574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18951170186141644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991770248657723,0.0,0.06415227216114353,0.0,0.06498705155377063,0.0,0.1489064458980993,0.0,0.2452941644335817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199080517385109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088471507788131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335219127643532,0.0,0.0,0.09685016339343852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310940066775169,0.0,0.07325087531426584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053329727035631706,0.0,0.055952020736390315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915911143356624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050294327820578175,0.12668890372246036,0.0,0.0,0.06857950868081611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15432340367087266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917893625013562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061953968686735625,0.0,0.057691566476907236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195643784812776,0.0,0.0,0.0815448502657087,0.0,0.0,0.06146807081484379,0.055849528160118435,0.0,0.0,0.051348499385517964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837383592557154,0.0,0.054545634915896216,0.1166196062180924,0.1268169691381439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458920576485487,0.0,0.0,0.2303739835940361,0.08460442271009372,0.08338106416256512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477621092241142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265653343030801,0.0,0.0,0.04278956639535672,0.11516742682838835,0.0581921014414012,0.0,0.06522765177955238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993184670094096,0.0,0.052814421130261975,0.0,0.0,0.051534664390491286,0.0,0.3526057836323072,0.0
mentalhealth,fairlyfairies,2019/02/01,Sister admitted herself to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. Not sure how to deal. This was completely unexpected. She is safe now. How do I deal with this? I am so worried for her.,1.3515686274509804,3.8808096470588263,3.278823529411767,81.6480392156863,99.58823529411764,8.149019607843139,29.196078431372552,8.344100000000001,3.4692313725490203,144,8,26,5,6,48,28,34,0.23,0.665,0.106,-0.7209,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,1,8,6,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,5,2,5,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476223738942375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6836240470837087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626603295635997,0.0,0.3124806091043265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263212534958608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367036726148084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Element2498,2019/02/01,"How I realized my mother is a narcissistic bitch. Dont get me wrong, I love my mother. But shes literally insane and needs some help...or I need help...save me...... Anyway, so here I am sitting in my room, early morning playing a game ya know just waking up. Then I hear a knock so loud I swear to fucking god I thought my door was gonna come off, and of course it's my mom. She starts bitching at me for multiple reasons, main reason is cause I'm playing a game, when its 8am and there's nothing else to do. And then she goes off about how I was using a dual monitor setup with one monitor being hers that she used twice in the past 3 years (and she said I could use it) but she still decided to rip it off my desk breaking the hdmi I had setup to it and proceeding to scream at me for stealing her monitor, again she said I could use it... and this made me think, theres been so many more occasions like this that have been happening for the past 6 or so years. For example, my sister who tends to eat 34 tons a day likes to steal/take food without asking, and yet I get blamed for it (even when its food I cant eat due to allergies) or this one time when I sold a laptop I bought with my own money and my mom SOMEHOW made it about herself. Literally anything that goes wrong in this house is never her fault but everything good that happens is all of a sudden, OH ME ME ME I DID IT IM THE BEST YOU ALL FUCKING SUCK. She always, always makes things about herself or ruins everyone's day by making them feel like shit. Another example is that she keeps screaming at me to start paying half the Bills in the house when I just turned 18, am still a full time student and cant find a job, its bullshit we live in a area that is majorly excluded from literally everything. it takes me 2 hours to get to class, yes. It's that bad. And yet she still bitches at me for being lazy when the only time I play games is on weekends, or in the morning before I leave. AND Shes constantly giving my sister credit for being so smart (when shes in the lowest grade level classes due to a learning disability) and I'm pulling 70/80's is all my College classes???!?!??, But yet I'm the lazy one, I'm the one that doesn't try, I'm the one that always causes issues, and I'm the one that's the reason why the family is a mess. They even treat my older brother like gold like HES 25 he doesn't need to be babied around FFS! I know they say the middle child being the worst treated isn't true......well guess what, in my case. IT IS. HELP. ME. PLEASE.

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mentalhealth,Lillymayble,2019/02/01,"Hearing whispering voices in my head and I can’t make out what they’re saying Hi so I’ve literally never told ANYONE this before but I’m 14 and for years now I’ve been hearing whispering voices in my head. When I was younger (like 7-11 years old) they were almost every day but then they stopped for like 2 years and when I was around 13 they came back again and I’ve had them ever since. I hear them mainly when its quiet-ish but not always and they sound like a huge room of loads of people just whispering quite loudly but I can’t make out what any one person is saying and I never have been able to but they are kinda aggressive and they sound like their mocking me or trying to scare me almost even though I don’t know what they’re saying. That probably makes no sense because It’s hard to explain which is mainly why I’ve never told anyone. I have no idea whether it’s something to worry about or not because they never tell me to harm myself or others or anything dangerous like that like other people experience. I’m more just curious as to why and how I could maybe get them to stop because they can not only be very distracting in school and things but also they’re really distressing and upsetting coz they are quite scary. They make me feel like I’m being surrounded and mocked and threatened and it stresses me out that I can’t make out what they’re saying. 
Whilst I’m here I may as well mention another completely different thing that I get often as well which I’ve never told anyone about which is where randomly I have these “episodes” where everything around me in the world becomes really fast and intense all of a sudden and it feels like all of the sounds around me are like almost echoing and kind of like they are mocking me even though they are just sounds so they can’t really mock me? It sounds stupid I know but yeah all the sounds around me become like 10 times more intense and loud and it’s kinda scary as well. Everything almost feels not real and when I come out of it I feel like I just made it up and like it didn’t actually happen like I imagined it and I almost can’t really remember what I did during that time (probably because it’s really distracting and it takes up all my head space so I can’t really think) It’s really weird. These “episodes” can last from like 5 minutes to about an hour but the normal amount of time they generally last is about 30 minutes. Again it’s really hard to describe and I’ve tried googling it but I can never find anything so again I don’t know whether it’s anything to worry about or not. I’m just curious if anyone gets either of these things or what they could be caused by. ",2.753136895207522,4.871530838951312,3.6643239318199217,88.20166131621191,76.75280898876404,6.831093785828937,21.384850569441266,7.817275551320576,0.8944234197049608,2124,56,426,33,49,679,211,534,0.154,0.727,0.119,-0.9763,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,19,2,41,34,7,6,7,1,37,3,3,9,11,113,70,58,0,4,29,0,6,15,0,1,0,20,1,1,40,34,0,2,13,0,0,2,22,15,3,1,13,26,56,19,46,51,10,57,0,0,0,0,34,22,0,17,48,283,96,1,0.05579555198271124,0.0,0.05444841012999089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793559282994991,0.0,0.0,0.044619682762196466,0.046426368938093564,0.0,0.0,0.03794288865924732,0.05850650115766985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605418903005205,0.0,0.13774495557791547,0.19867948243429107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042903335420819935,0.0,0.13604980245228254,0.1232436070620355,0.047477905200702684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381524736357197,0.0,0.057317401478394425,0.0,0.04806292755729751,0.058500574699073125,0.0,0.0,0.08909641626561811,0.0,0.0,0.035983515178000136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058294476344049814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370487172839478,0.050470271123997684,0.047010158987858805,0.0,0.10029088880820056,0.054578756166110035,0.0,0.0,0.11284763020486373,0.11958106045478202,0.0,0.0,0.0509961236905463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745261910345108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049339822350671386,0.0,0.09996371042642772,0.0,0.17178700005419534,0.0,0.1886569265451496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494737954490924,0.0,0.0,0.06298638673055185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581024813391272,0.09199132856986217,0.09096164359806316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088833253484112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052795100366049175,0.186219821040107,0.0,0.05605413139853874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25819781625443555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466779442566856,0.0,0.0,0.05854804598376522,0.0,0.03780851002372013,0.04243503152671693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736322085928511,0.04871852385653743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031408396650033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869087508772158,0.0,0.06350755335719968,0.2859524746150951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320548370359011,0.0,0.0,0.17748344962451054,0.05586108114743592,0.05646807738885819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04615465717542375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04295414184032767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329515963396272,0.06391361628270349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04195131124887853,0.0,0.04876777172139261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112042564656598,0.03575153678487603,0.1096376930670462,0.0,0.09760450517118653,0.0,0.0,0.15994512295599395,0.0,0.07576303456007724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046037173768651615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050070602661575,0.0,0.1006936144428938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332618283797632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779151844351084
mentalhealth,funnerisafunnerword,2019/02/01,"High functioning and great self awareness. Is it really possible with mental health problems? I'm 26F and after what I feel has been way to long I decided to do something about my mental health. 

I recently started going to therapy and am on a waiting list to see the psycologist to get an official DX of Bipolar. My PCP is treating my anxiety now with generic Prozac and it's only been a week so no reports back on that yet. 

The only thing I feel is strange is that nothing the doctors have told me is a surprise. My therapist has yet to tell me something I havent already figured out. I'm very aware of when I'm having a mood swing but I'm unable to stop them. I know what's wrong with me but I cant control it. 

Is being high functioning normal with mental health issues. Somedays I lack motivation but I'm at work when I need to be and I take care of my family regardless of my mood. It's not easy but I have no choice. 

I'm just here to talk openly about my health too. I dont feel I should be ashamed about it. ",1.0370987018339193,3.295182781990526,3.1432763239233488,88.8666062229549,83.739336492891,6.323593653410264,23.865856171440353,7.586124646067393,1.2602052750875743,801,31,167,14,23,271,115,211,0.145,0.8,0.055,-0.9506,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,3,13,9,0,1,8,0,22,8,0,2,0,33,41,12,0,6,6,0,3,0,0,1,8,0,0,1,10,11,0,3,7,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,3,4,24,4,25,34,1,21,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,0,12,112,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326112952601036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193021469080236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924038085020542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252198178081095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478159695948735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299974747435866,0.0,0.0,0.1408391012427183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328618942331667,0.0,0.1822856668790712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627842022799692,0.0,0.06829574702626393,0.0,0.0,0.13248856062211065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5109431058503253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539337690549099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542693232183566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660426438927021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634723949203358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.363311237908256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910501077235139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774171769609705,0.11530697513267413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18279038161077524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547434654234922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498707809919925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769843924890956,0.0,0.1186540146846416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576044571426964,0.0,0.12536419123428816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502646743206785,0.0,0.0,0.08505740121923303,0.0,0.0,0.10046804031000572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903533698028124,0.09658861266468527,0.10503444067960846,0.0,0.13742560581308544,0.13952738128096284,0.07983603697534128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482820133133542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915336761509476,0.0,0.09538586471225732,0.09639364303385167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748566096373991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138773587132882,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,incognitoburritox,2019/02/01,"I want to die I know I’m not unique in this. I’m not looking for attention. I’m also not about to kill myself. 
Growing up I had a turbulent childhood and I was fairly socially isolated from a young age. In middle school this got worse and I got angrier about it which pushed more friends away. Then when I was 13 I got diagnosed with a rare vision disease that would make me lose a large portion of vision over the next 5 to 10 years. This made me withdraw even more. This was also when I started having suicidal thoughts. I broke my foot and quit soccer which was my only real passion at the time. Freshman year of high school I got pretty close to ending it but I held on and sophomore year I started drinking and smoking weed. This came with a new batch of friends so I was happy for a while but junior year I fell deep into drinking and senior year I started taking lsd and shrooms. I have hated myself since I was about 9 and I’ve had suicidal thoughts almost every day for 6 years. I’ve been the most depressed I’ve ever been over the last 6 months and I don’t know if I can keep going. I don’t want to kill myself but I hate being alive and I wish I would just get hit by a car crossing the street or some other random accident. 

I don’t even know why I’m posting here, I just needed to tell someone and I’ve never felt this alone",1.23738402381543,3.426576161870507,2.7925055817415045,92.1157913669065,82.34532374100718,5.129446787397669,21.456710493674027,6.311591054244273,0.3060871743984124,1055,33,220,9,29,345,154,278,0.153,0.7140000000000001,0.132,-0.8775,0,1,2,0,0,3,15.0,0,0,0,2,15,11,4,0,12,0,19,5,1,2,2,50,52,23,5,7,10,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,12,16,2,2,7,3,0,7,7,7,0,0,20,2,32,4,28,28,5,48,0,3,1,1,4,14,0,6,26,140,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964774430505588,0.10306530071351823,0.0,0.15916077979534451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934955979919165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381618945332606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417755551996432,0.0,0.08571027157039603,0.10100344764740596,0.1032786268651977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949694154035764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813884779528314,0.0,0.0,0.13145459730773845,0.09001506971026364,0.08384386776893356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554794134542886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537667615467039,0.0,0.0519913566912943,0.0,0.05655544572035982,0.0,0.3183580660899746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593327886713623,0.0,0.19649667360532425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514078927073252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884515930921305,0.22019244812492814,0.0,0.1640689790156217,0.08111625425315586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356573073922795,0.1113294243370322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941614644417994,0.06642559985927142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943020716826209,0.0,0.0,0.07378751707935557,0.07675044440874773,0.09611013027835792,0.10583304453224923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756840063658469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530580205505663,0.1012403435909256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584416486236613,0.0,0.11326740901652226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142463313004752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231805755296698,0.0,0.0,0.10144081825112086,0.08431691456175272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21130712147797207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21770181181658013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482127839628806,0.0,0.08697861678472528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800417382920534,0.058026742881531174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739051400391362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979486855922354,0.0,0.11443486596786455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141209539555056,0.14138214643080455,0.0,0.0,0.3844980750362669
mentalhealth,eurekatania,2019/02/01,"Ever experienced wanting to eat food but can't think of food to eat at all? Like having a craving but you don't know what you're craving for?

I've been literally forcing myself to eat this past few days \[even I really don't feel like it\] since I'm already 6 kilos under my usual/normal weight \[45 kg when I was still part of the cheer team\]. I've always been underweight but I've developed depressions on my hand whenever I flex my thumb backwards, something I've never had before. ",3.6181701030927833,5.460263020618553,4.9531829896907205,81.14668170103094,73.43298969072166,7.73659793814433,25.527061855670105,8.472884824447931,1.8260113402061853,391,13,73,7,8,130,70,97,0.076,0.7959999999999999,0.128,0.7184,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,8,7,1,0,3,10,13,4,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,6,0,3,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,4,8,3,9,9,3,10,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,8,41,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988429655270636,0.0,0.14993162483945527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332750834352213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162069535368299,0.0,0.15519646183643895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5531347804596326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901308921614365,0.16299120367993924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110893735011956,0.12872700797771264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4357703400859116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902712387444364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760624195299942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389728115238652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19512705248639686,0.17201072299820955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543364290203532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490541453596493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871824196056146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389911268484612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545779097675285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19845265008403368,0.0,0.106280099763801,0.0,0.0,0.21942157421121344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,suiitelife,2019/02/01,"1st therapy appointment in 1 week!! i finally made an appointment with a therapist to help with my anxiety/depression and im stoked to begin the process, i was in such a low place and didn't think i needed help but i finally came to a realization that I dont have to live this way forever. 

i'm very excited to start the process. any tips for a new comer? ",3.9357534246575336,4.725523123287672,6.106739726027397,77.28449315068495,71.1917808219178,11.867397260273972,32.40821917808219,11.602472056035307,4.1487227397260265,280,13,59,11,5,99,52,73,0.024,0.852,0.123,0.741,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,0,4,0,0,1,0,9,11,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,0,6,1,10,7,0,12,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693069392704378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24711926027725864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18609530867596846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532249934481762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4733743439192121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28964582583500426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23338582313821285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19078816504077803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20444465371091253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160208461783229,0.0,0.20867562350853855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22574053173090136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293096644617205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24708761859859876,0.2508665555158798,0.0,0.1384448652799086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827514264967045,0.0,0.1715012716900507,0.17331323056106868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhthrowaway,2019/02/01,Can depression affect my memory?? when i get really bad spells my memory goes out the window and ill forget so much. is this normal? ans would therapy help??,2.171896551724138,5.056870241379312,4.7340517241379345,74.0348706896552,87.9655172413793,9.796551724137933,14.14655172413793,9.516144504307137,2.3127172413793105,123,2,20,5,4,43,27,29,0.339,0.5920000000000001,0.069,-0.8873,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,6,4,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442014642517049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550599373175291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153773113727979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763144044225471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030423217237241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039056589541303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640901830373269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4714300161339058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928420079051398,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tabimai,2019/02/01,"I wrote a poem last night about the stigma surrounding mental health, would be great if you could give it a read :) 
You place your mug on the table, self-righteousness scrawled across your face 


And with a sigh you declare that kids these days don’t know what hardship is,


And that choosing whether you want avocado on your toast or not just screams privilege


‘back in my day we didn’t have mental illness, 


People were tough 


We stuck up for ourselves’ 


As if throwing a cover over your eyes 


Denied mental illness of its existence


And makes you a generation of people with more morals 


As if you hold some magnificent ignorance 


One that has been dipped in the beautiful metals of your golden age


And wears a crystal crown that bears a weight too heavy for the modern-day snowflake. 


So, tell the sober 16-year-old at the back of the class
Sipping vodka out of a hip flask 


That his attempt to hurt the body he hates


His attempt to forget that he is stuck in a body that he hates 


is all an elaborate cry for attention -


that he’s coincidentally trying to hide from his mates.


Take the razor off that girl sat in her room


She’s only 15 but she sits watching her skin bleed 


Each crimson droplet fuels her will to live 


Like gasoline on a flame 


Because she wakes up each day scared


Scared of what people will say at school,


And how much alcohol her dad has consumed.


Take a look at the girl curled up in her room


She had a presentation today in class


She said one word wrong and everyone laughed


Or so she thinks


You see, her brain works against her when it comes to speaking out


Because even though she knows what she’s talking about 


The words seem to come out wrong 


Like there’s a fallen tree on the road from her brain to her mouth 


And only half of her thoughts managed to make it out 


So don’t tell her to just get over it 


Your ignorance is admirable 


But not in the way you think


Your ability to deny a problem so big 


That it fills the hipflasks of underaged alcoholics,


that has been carved into the skin of innocent kids


and has made it out of the mouths of the unwillingly silenced 


just to be shoved back in 


is truly an admirable skill


but what made it a skill of which modern-day snowflakes did not qualify   


is your ability to watch parents bury their snowflake kids


and still refuse to give a shit. ",6.511925658234383,6.6290330380313245,5.713210290827742,84.72306272586476,65.3758389261745,8.93508862502151,30.615126484254,8.502166056373571,2.0147887454827056,1836,60,372,23,26,553,235,447,0.128,0.777,0.095,-0.8863,1,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,2,16,1,6,19,22,3,2,35,0,25,21,14,5,1,65,52,27,0,7,15,2,3,2,1,3,6,4,2,5,25,23,3,4,8,2,0,5,6,13,1,3,14,12,43,8,65,32,6,54,1,1,5,0,63,34,1,7,15,240,68,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200140399860936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21600478165951595,0.0,0.11416131786055565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20802070061441866,0.0,0.2090612312716571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132113538649082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476206590673343,0.0,0.1028565915584379,0.3019427768310503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618468026971809,0.0,0.0,0.0894748133546128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892182160381461,0.1796515847269788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323586972401452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848956408070095,0.0,0.09953247220791496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024107014289013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029216371454585,0.07632720460258813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149327855261494,0.0,0.08268378452218997,0.0,0.07863206562758274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17720446853224692,0.12500775332857547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830942645149981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883446685854704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787261689686322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982569907076688,0.0,0.12690262691607468,0.14243134602840302,0.0,0.0,0.10397355929987744,0.0,0.0,0.19474972593945966,0.0,0.09783144294916336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895986110714296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936630169224606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996606473296285,0.08907087386487171,0.07446443928016057,0.187495300278541,0.09476632844101186,0.07461710544708018,0.08524422457150742,0.09768451897695042,0.0,0.09611773007437108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477916999831874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080775985926394,0.07526241803106015,0.16368691430594615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199984852997662,0.09199854246105968,0.07433785629626417,0.0,0.0,0.08875756925461441,0.0,0.0,0.0635738363054722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055229928103041726,0.07432522971574718,0.0,0.11402546473774725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816934424800962,0.0,0.0,0.06651751931307437,0.20475620114001125,0.0,0.06029959410889309
mentalhealth,heisenberg711,2019/02/01,"[NEED HELP] A close friend revealed he was contemplating suicide. I'm stumped. [URGENT] He is a close friend from high school. Though we studied in the same college, he sort of stayed away from the gang of friends I was in. We all presumed, he felt comfortable that way. But only during the final year of college did we realize he was battling severe depression. He had somehow developed an **Inferiority complex** which led him to not actively participate in activities in college, which resulted in a vicious cycle that prevented him from socializing, which he wanted to do in the first place. 

He powered through and landed a job in a reputable company with a damn good salary. We thought he would ""get over it"" and move on, but the problem only got worse. Fast forward an year,on a random day I get a call from him saying ""dude, I'm at the railway station, I'm off to someplace, I probably won't return"". I convinced him to wait right there, and hurried to the station and got him back to our house. He had no clothes in his bag- just a couple of books. He didn't talk for a couple of days (like literally a word). We had to ask him if wanted food, water or to go to the toilet. Slowly he started talking, but only in small sentences and broken ideas. He would start off like ""why did I..."" or ""did you know....."" and then shut himself down. After a week, when we again started to converse in full sentences I took him to a counselor. **He never spoke a word to the counselor.** The counselor said to me later he is exhibiting symptoms of severe depression and possibly paranoia and that a group of friends would never be able to take care of him. Next day I took him back to our hometown and explained his parents the situation and asked them to take him to a psychiatrist. They were quite understanding and considerate of the situation. 

It has now been 1 year, though he is now in a much more stable state than he was 1 year back, he is refusing to go see a therapist. He now says that his problem rises from his lack of special talents; he is somehow convinced he is the dumbest person ever. He says he is trying to be happy by developing a hobby (writing). But for the past few days, when I went to visit him, he has been subtly revealing to me that he is seriously considering suicide. Whenever I slowly talk to him about his career and his wonderful abilities (he is an extremely bright student, school valedictorian) to convince him to go to a therapist, he outright rejects the idea. He has developed this thought process: ""Nothing we do is ever of any use in an universal scale, so nothing matters. Hence, I have already lived my life and the future holds nothing new for me."" 

Today I took him out for a quick snack, and he confessed that sometimes he gets impulses to commit suicide. I got shit scared and urged him to come with me right now to see a therapist. He again wiggled his way out of the conversation, and told me ""Look, I'm trying to set a new path for myself through writing. For me it is an alternative to whatever therapy sessions you are suggesting. But if it doesn't work, I hope you will save me."" And he started crying. 

I'm really afraid for my friend. Please give me advice on how to handle this situation. 

If it helps, I'm from the **south of India.** ",4.012218980392158,5.896966932800003,5.124131764705883,80.15243450980394,72.472,7.845960784313728,30.494901960784308,8.554587454381133,2.4891716078431365,2563,114,473,46,51,844,292,625,0.13699999999999998,0.7509999999999999,0.112,-0.9634,4,0,0,0,0,4,108.0,9,3,2,4,23,32,4,2,46,0,40,6,1,4,6,94,89,34,3,13,12,1,1,2,5,5,2,5,0,1,16,31,3,4,16,1,0,13,7,13,0,1,27,10,61,19,87,55,7,92,1,4,4,0,102,34,2,11,44,312,77,11,0.06442126192839326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295171157275897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109046447413983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380866721050866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045036734384836,0.0,0.06052589619999079,0.14860792180724922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578131115776861,0.0,0.06568176998803825,0.0,0.0,0.05549321290294721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256180202356447,0.0707637312389243,0.16618553802314184,0.0,0.1109718770030506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654543920216222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185451405419363,0.07057034355614876,0.0,0.0547966924866744,0.07789844563685336,0.0,0.24885853581013506,0.0,0.1009723514041606,0.061798744570706415,0.10983626322740883,0.054033498059466084,0.1545707044752329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857763123127264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636042785736238,0.06806460020006141,0.0,0.06398484887594005,0.0,0.07433348690117311,0.0,0.14544752666840746,0.0,0.0,0.06392816210014471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03540424079429763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045502642463079467,0.06294594906916441,0.0,0.05688515453500255,0.0,0.054097635110437914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846960628884899,0.04735703992276876,0.04776754944105766,0.09937129728799987,0.12443691240946822,0.06851274290412841,0.0,0.0,0.18544181481400665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698581788935386,0.0,0.0,0.07153218762912918,0.0,0.06149738392837933,0.0,0.05625016107196446,0.06730650734851057,0.07071520025549513,0.0,0.07262529335179245,0.0,0.0,0.06945701620876757,0.12328489476801875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851994183071769,0.0,0.0,0.04126990999201717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100308113901056,0.061279372414444325,0.15369111949674175,0.06449692157033005,0.13039551271712851,0.1026708102160613,0.0,0.0,0.14555537839181173,0.06612749961108631,0.0,0.2172365926577421,0.0,0.06566936377518341,0.0,0.0,0.06371427529458314,0.0,0.18239080306932884,0.06866449369402361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21139921366724912,0.0,0.0,0.0669583576042437,0.09687354329036717,0.15533811031203476,0.0,0.0,0.07367132738376561,0.22439415110158176,0.0,0.0,0.1265871255200684,0.10228657209271626,0.0,0.0,0.06106382372767333,0.06155727648510944,0.2147231771042285,0.08747561625337072,0.0,0.0,0.06706480560528318,0.0,0.05563928637959968,0.0,0.0,0.07599465876541849,0.1022691983116754,0.05167485048833989,0.0,0.0,0.05971915521662567,0.058130168804067926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986211053429253,0.04689944593739681,0.0,0.06565076956741155,0.13728904841288822,0.0,0.0,0.16594072219138728
mentalhealth,ParkourToYou,2019/02/01,"I don’t know what to do I think my mother is suffering from mania or bipolar. Her behaviour has been changing as she leans more and more in to alternative medicine and spirituality in the last few years. She’s been using cannabis for pain management and has come off her anti depressants that were prescribed to manage fibromayalgia.

Over the last 12 months she had been acting strangely and I’m getting more worried. She’s reduced her working hours and pay significantly  to focus on 5/6 different projects at any given time, while none of these really need her involvement. They are not bringing in money but she is convinced they will. 2 of them are VERY unproven health businesses, not quite at the crystals level but very close. 

She keeps telling me she’s ‘never been in more control of her emotions’ but she seems to be more affected by minor events than ever before and seems to be incredibly happy or incredibly stressed at different points with no real change in circumstance. A project would be the same one week to the next and her mood would be so variable. 

I’ve tried to talk to my family about this but they are not as worried as I am, they all seem to think that she calms down eventually but I think it’s getting more extreme and I think it’s a serious issue. All the descriptions of mania and bipolar online seem to make perfect sense with my mum at the moment but I don’t know what I can do about it. Does anyone have any advice on how I can talk to her about it or even how I can know if it is a mental health question or something else? 

Thanks in advance.  ",5.777772277227722,6.755322115511554,5.973945544554456,79.21616584158417,67.11881188118812,8.832277227722773,30.991584158415844,8.982922981607832,2.506891881188119,1263,48,236,21,20,402,167,303,0.08199999999999999,0.85,0.067,0.5146,2,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,5,5,8,11,0,1,10,0,30,5,0,6,5,56,52,27,0,4,14,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,11,13,0,2,12,0,2,4,8,5,0,1,7,0,34,5,43,38,11,35,0,2,0,0,28,18,0,10,13,171,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641289517215956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810739835455666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614331946079382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926633325384225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303971889156929,0.0938051293582779,0.0,0.0,0.12213725334748525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937928327884689,0.0,0.0,0.22754839008954186,0.0,0.0,0.09529650490104737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096947621062472,0.12249447603596834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192544626599215,0.09850357754196204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265840686340733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137883834748344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592288916456228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315048529368217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724161652375266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366018325331613,0.0,0.0967926635718342,0.0,0.0,0.17954084186920416,0.17753119042084545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268959794809808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974257047304722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692055226038327,0.0,0.0,0.08074575105757435,0.08398808528984683,0.0,0.11581320263528795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379143039904816,0.0,0.11587409353919158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294287048821547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198957038700585,0.11582537162325282,0.0,0.12394863485579195,0.06976221132080193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965429821117397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383423641854236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474115389677375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17505457898758614,0.0951807841789616,0.100257733514708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791072207463425,0.0,0.0,0.06349872066239895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393391974522635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405205038981307,0.0,0.1797028712206354,0.0,0.0,0.08735061066127156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927831824557086,0.22118039372701825,0.0,0.15471461910569234,0.0,0.0,0.0701261023496372
mentalhealth,nomad_9988,2019/02/01,"Help for a relative? I am trying to locate resources to help a relative that I believe has some mental health needs. 

​

She is living in Los Angeles, I am living out of state, and I don't know where to start in trying to help her. She doesn't have any type of health insurance.

​

Can anyone give me any idea what direction I can go in in trying to find her help?",3.4334649122807015,4.995929802631583,4.565789473684212,84.88885964912285,73.34210526315789,7.698245614035088,24.508771929824558,8.344100000000001,1.513261403508772,299,9,59,5,6,98,48,76,0.0,0.85,0.15,0.8796,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,0,7,14,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,13,14,1,9,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,1,39,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237120700303157,0.3630325323599015,0.20317064426791834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044518197160774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830308780048445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365330325587851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330144636729705,0.08489760050092081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175735354538194,0.0,0.0,0.4005121562525999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863482492173987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209679579419515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638152272613356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505425724463174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076533952066152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573380602426084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042630336115428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630325323599015,0.0
mentalhealth,_Ritchey_,2019/02/01,"I feel like really dumb, brain damaged. What is wrong with me? I used to be a smart kid, till high school I had good grades.. but now? I feel really bad.
It is like I am not able to be as function as other people. I see it on myself every day. I feel emotionless and without power, have problem with focus, and my memory is really bad. I wouldn’t say that It’s just depression, there are better days and worse days. I see that in some time my brain works different than in other. The worst is that I feel that It’s going to affect relationship with people I have around me. I have great girlfriend, but in some time I feel like I am not enough good for her. Even when I am writing these words I can’t express everything I am feeling in my head and It’s so frustrating. Have anyone of you experienced something similar like this? Is there any chance to get my brain back? Thank you all",1.96425895497864,4.0217299608938575,3.4147946105816622,89.33423923759449,79.0,6.8933289516924106,20.026618468616494,7.928766900206844,0.7473612224778186,689,17,146,12,17,226,103,179,0.174,0.636,0.19,-0.5708,2,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,3,9,19,2,0,2,0,19,4,4,2,1,29,31,11,0,2,6,0,6,4,1,1,0,1,0,1,14,8,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,9,0,0,1,10,27,10,20,27,5,17,0,2,2,0,9,7,1,2,13,103,41,3,0.12153655456466315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264902477001124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498118481725953,0.0,0.0,0.10819330080844244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934541084564274,0.20295589295243624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748920594909883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4070249683380442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351430696777322,0.0,0.10467925635728643,0.0,0.0,0.12697983178304967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557974963419902,0.0,0.08027374805141473,0.0,0.10239978904934496,0.0,0.10922921852044147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3687152025165761,0.17365147773029446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634978335237349,0.0,0.06907202477009712,0.2038781914121288,0.0,0.1339944804692702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247315682801852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841004271744588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375064860471856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851628811156902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629406884816185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335782869263936,0.0,0.0,0.13048477581662332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665074630992923,0.0,0.12300148174641465,0.1936977971945439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935647774427052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189453049206648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173788467547338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496856104013598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715690155827167,0.0,0.08848005921645352,0.0,0.12385613225973092,0.0,0.13288114328848946,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,acadarsotp,2019/02/01,"I´m deeply unhappy Sorry first time ever doing something like this and not familiar with it, I\`m an M19 in my second year of college, getting into the one I'm in is an accomplishment a lot of people fail to do, I will not go into detail because the admission system  where I live is different than in the US, but it may be something like getting into an Ivy league college, I do really like the major I\`m in but it\`s been two years of total failure because I\`m never motivated to study, I don't show it on the outside to really anybody but I feel like I\`m deeply unhappy and that annoys me because I just seem to have everything, I\`m not proud of it but I cope with it by mainly going out to party a lot and hook up with a lot of girls, which is something that also makes me pretty sad because I can´t really connect and have a relationship with none of them, my parents are really disappointed in my constant failure in college and I feel so bad that I just don\`t do anything about it, I've always manned up and dealt with my problems but now I'm just not motivated to do anything and I don\`t know what to do.",7.4618793314309,6.1536695784753395,8.190803098247045,72.44652262535672,63.97757847533632,10.799673868732166,35.07093355075418,9.800150414767053,3.301326457399103,888,33,166,15,11,300,116,223,0.199,0.7240000000000001,0.076,-0.9864,2,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,1,6,9,11,1,0,12,0,17,0,0,3,3,43,28,14,0,1,12,1,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,2,12,16,0,0,6,1,0,2,7,6,0,4,1,2,19,5,34,24,7,25,0,3,0,0,6,14,0,5,12,129,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752555661658643,0.11187935128003514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22129401350489314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226633611361682,0.3278560005507797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530071282283394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047939448545346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162444148517595,0.0,0.0,0.1208416664473736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597143121018648,0.09605641344971584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143694195937796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049691323883362,0.0,0.15283050984294574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389428607916293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627564305115912,0.0,0.11872837232380093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429326912011473,0.0,0.0,0.08975137728833524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370185753340178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111183301797572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929906186228933,0.0,0.0,0.09321585082619993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136791542623331,0.0,0.1286575997513662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445474854981333,0.0,0.0,0.1443569584153149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224049926096872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105356912767308,0.0,0.15051408248659315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784032075616494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313453697558168,0.0,0.1617357306123177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317235058134978
mentalhealth,KineticSplicer,2019/02/01,"How to deal with the consequences of stopping an SSRI So recently, after many talks with many doctors and therapists, my diagnosis was changed from Major Depressive Disorder to Bipolar Disorder. My mental health has always been abysmal and I have literally been on some form of SSRI for either extreme anxiety or depression since I was 6 years old. My Doctor stopped prescribing me Celexa since we pretty much unanimously agreed that SSRIs were doing nothing but making me worse and she switched me to Lithium. I have been off Celexa for about two and a half months and let me say, I feel so much better with this change and am happy to be off the SSRIs. 

The first month was pretty much torture as after taking an SSRI for almost 20 years (age 6 - 25) I don't think my brain knew what to do without it. Almost all of the withdrawl symptoms have gone away... except for one. I literally feel horny all the time now. I was never that interested in sex before now as I presume the SSRIs were just killing my sex drive for most of my life but now it's been kicked into overdrive. It's literally causing problems for me with how distracted and unable to concentrate it makes me. 

I just want to know, has anyone else had this problem and if so how long does it take to go away? I was hoping it would start to fade away pretty quickly like the other withdrawl symptoms by now but it's only gotten worse. I worry that these feelings wont go away too because maybe taking SSRIs from such a young age permanently ruined my sex drive in some way. Any advice? It's literally staring to cause problems.

TL;DR - I was re-diagnosed from Major Depressive Disorder to Bipolar Disorder and stopped taking SSRIs. Since then I've become so horny its causing problems for me. What do I do to stop this or how long will it take to fade away?",6.18568838675775,6.975911725433527,6.504330005254861,76.44176037834998,66.13872832369941,8.949868628481346,31.3342091434577,8.97023862654752,2.6551202312138726,1451,54,255,23,22,468,180,346,0.194,0.73,0.076,-0.9926,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,2,18,16,2,1,11,0,29,12,1,9,3,61,49,26,1,8,11,0,3,1,0,3,8,1,0,0,20,15,0,4,7,0,0,5,4,11,0,4,16,5,29,5,50,28,12,46,0,4,1,3,5,11,0,9,30,187,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054318742151082,0.0,0.0,0.14457562195664425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006782463210698,0.0,0.0,0.049091644127033006,0.0,0.055225117113945364,0.0,0.0,0.05047689424226896,0.07396713874850322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33912419001951954,0.0,0.0,0.04400632583302823,0.07972813236699622,0.061428333697567825,0.0,0.0,0.06384614773900134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058786316422993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224769047712852,0.15273479828524736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442467258432629,0.18653130444821572,0.0732712835861362,0.0,0.0,0.33094376549322996,0.14777895346167982,0.06317391510656217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603054432414475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950422921831288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140473787910629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205442879896079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684754825577017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767345452038042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170091286835945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986748811985504,0.0,0.03967371071367645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381911884572741,0.05098989932524774,0.03526836500290195,0.0,0.0,0.1277716749698823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637470953780623,0.14637856511513386,0.07252451164643613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275049423731811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524266488502885,0.0,0.1592037671194379,0.0,0.05567734278998907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692682077070556,0.0,0.07575121292373377,0.0,0.04891778102944913,0.05490371291805432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22032940751203428,0.0,0.2763041455293804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127887038052051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05740834880583855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914882748197647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0510964209051276,0.0,0.0,0.2414161355323697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006600621028024,0.2713893057784383,0.058023550409639475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381810047718956,0.0,0.046256407533956066,0.0,0.0,0.042094542634769916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051909531530823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04257950516664345,0.05730102521207744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958853942111347,0.0,0.0,0.07331240233340962,0.14713546069696995,0.05128167199456071,0.0,0.0,0.09297592689658826
mentalhealth,loliducky,2019/02/01,"i had my first suicidal thoughts when i was in year 4 i had some fucked up things happen to me, neglectful parents, sexual abuse, extreme bullying.
i would catch the bus to school every day for an hour and put my ear phones on and listen to some edgy music and dream about the way people would react when i killed myself.

how people would react, how my bullies and parents would cry, how everyone would finally realise how wrong they have treated me. they could finally feel the pain i did, at such a young age.

i'm 18 now. it hasn't gotten any better and neither has my life. it's only been more neglect, betrayal and abuse. of course there's been positives but i struggle to see them. i know i'm weak minded, but that's just the way i am. i can't deny the pain i feel. 

the only thing that keeps me here is the fear of the unknown, the fear of what's to come. it terrifies me. i'm so scared, i'm so so scared. but it's like they say

""better an end with terror, than a terror without end""",2.347941176470588,3.927144578431373,3.7243137254901946,89.73441176470587,76.25490196078431,6.760784313725492,22.294117647058826,7.5105763829236425,0.7702235294117656,770,21,165,10,17,253,119,204,0.326,0.634,0.04,-0.9968,2,0,0,0,2,0,26.0,0,0,4,3,15,19,2,7,13,0,18,6,1,6,0,35,33,18,2,6,5,2,2,1,0,5,4,3,0,0,9,8,0,3,4,1,0,3,4,15,0,1,8,6,24,4,17,19,4,22,0,2,1,1,9,4,1,2,14,109,33,1,0.0,0.26723682697993445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668999458610251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947837606649899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714457133887873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004063636818174,0.0,0.12387663243733055,0.07272971778645045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19976808010955596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950167202778869,0.10776011919499442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538035686746796,0.11404355935030135,0.0,0.0,0.2470761887940851,0.0,0.09592526588280544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425748395188396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972542530786084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110593944932184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023846111358058,0.12476740880113345,0.0,0.06197748545494336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796554112769231,0.05509554159836826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386930577515547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715389867793776,0.23999837158483836,0.0,0.25044373322976016,0.0,0.0,0.15636619136050045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336873367373825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968218598921325,0.22581232806198664,0.11413302208301232,0.08986605141153159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789557457776885,0.0,0.12335614224269865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984369276488962,0.0,0.0,0.08952973417711871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902905439145786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870983863669828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4005560638234459,0.12330035578456082,0.0,0.0726225761749422
mentalhealth,nicktheturtle,2019/02/01,"My therapist thinks I [19 M] probably have DID. The title kind-of says it all. I think I've known this for years, but I've been in deep denial until it's come to a head recently. I've been struggling with acknowledging what I experience as real, and it's hard to get my brain together. I feel like this is one of the ""scary"" mental illnesses that is so highly stigmatized, I worry that I'll just further be mistreated.

​

I don't hate the people in my head, they're actually generally kind to me and are helpful a lot of the time, but I'd still rather just.... be me. 

​

I don't really know where there are any communities for people like me who are just starting to realize the depth of their issues, I'm not really sure that my story lines up too much with others? I'm terrified that my therapist is going to think that this is the """"reason"""" I'm transgender, I'm scared about losing control, I worry about memories I can't remember and the impact they'll have when I finally do, I'm stressed about discovering these people who have always been in my head and their influence on my life since my earliest memories, I can't stop worrying that I won't be able to pursue my dream in the medical field now and I feel like my life is over.

​

It was weird and nice and a relief and also horrible to hear a professional acknowledge them all, to tell him everything I know about them and have him not be mean about it. ",6.860990675990678,6.064024982517481,7.730615384615388,73.59771794871797,64.9090909090909,11.962331002331002,32.35337995337996,11.34169021259432,3.561058554778554,1139,38,225,31,15,385,148,286,0.145,0.7340000000000001,0.122,-0.8427,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,5,2,17,13,1,3,12,0,28,8,4,3,3,43,47,16,0,1,8,0,3,3,0,2,4,2,0,0,19,12,0,2,14,1,0,2,7,6,0,1,5,5,34,7,29,36,4,24,0,1,0,0,13,12,0,1,13,151,53,1,0.09094620992355984,0.0,0.08875038173689218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272965121791017,0.07567453220537748,0.29562054136575583,0.3315287988475833,0.06184654142644588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152604799216212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783421069213773,0.0,0.0,0.10200390774246784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173658923382689,0.08896284451470053,0.0,0.0,0.09197027273041312,0.1299439810826063,0.0,0.09962712755563867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04751564101867261,0.0,0.05168682695578921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146994043536726,0.08979055364751856,0.2800111480913117,0.0,0.10250298835305746,0.0,0.06095932744793421,0.09608966407765543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492421459305687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18941296491108608,0.09996331705024583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847599533594325,0.1332951728944356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174554576491099,0.0,0.07731921540976673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990670844017972,0.0,0.09161873847143448,0.09165238882608673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685592869884896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162750555061685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18915195229571533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805539642809392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035166975522571,0.11652494177566405,0.09350785087129278,0.08979841046699852,0.0,0.10302432693932324,0.0,0.0,0.07232407644479381,0.09105302182808253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523164466097025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437219548146922,0.0,0.07262976072496351,0.07603510379780369,0.1041785761922693,0.0950767251513139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085715726548771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949099608965818,0.0,0.0,0.21119111879954086,0.0,0.1748239772160353,0.0,0.0,0.05303146637647423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27708087243438084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315287988475833,0.05856637740215344
mentalhealth,StoneyNips,2019/02/01,"Still here So I came here 4 1/2 months to talk about my depression and since then it’s begun to look ok, I didn’t think I would be here. I ended up picking up smoking sadly but I lost 50 pounds healthily and began to socialize more. Days seem better, but I do find my mind wandering blankly reliving things or thinking of the possibility of yknow. My sleeping hasn’t really deviated from 3-4hours but I do find myself sometimes with 7-8. I drew up my will at some point and had an attempt but I began to have a mental shift. I don’t necessarily care wether I keep living I can’t seem to go back to that mentality. But I want to keep going to at least be a decent person then idk. Perspective became everything, I had to rip apart and understand my own morality to just see clearly. I’ve always been the rock to people only wanting everyone to be happy foolishly. It’s such a unselfishly selfish idea anyone would consider idiotic. My ex did and killed me for it despite her good intentions to protect me although not without her own selfishness. She’s now engaged now shortly after and I only wish the best for her. It’s thanks to her that I can see clearly and I can see her and others so clearly. People became so enigmatic as I let my senses dull and my body become so weak to seizing my wants. Even though many bad things have happened even at the start of this year I can only see forward. My anxiety that once made me physically immobile at times vomiting is just shakes and confidence now, my body is lighter, I’ve let music back in, and my patience is stronger. I can’t guarantee anything but I think I’m ok atm .

",3.3729629629629616,5.237679006211182,4.965458937198068,80.70409822866348,74.15527950310559,8.124407637451116,28.074994248907288,8.841846274778883,2.3480210259949397,1288,52,245,27,27,434,184,322,0.128,0.696,0.175,0.9525,0,0,0,1,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,20,20,2,1,8,2,27,5,3,3,3,49,56,27,1,6,11,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,11,13,0,3,9,1,1,5,7,11,0,0,10,5,43,9,34,38,6,34,1,4,5,0,10,12,0,4,19,170,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501772548506673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816354055486259,0.0,0.0,0.07144308561715662,0.0,0.08408126019856979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15713242610313824,0.08531179735777521,0.0,0.11284418093261965,0.0,0.0,0.10722628365534773,0.0903654210053092,0.0,0.2269866235096249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168608983690332,0.10417414909773627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589437609196261,0.0,0.08800311610570777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049665942991446,0.0,0.0,0.13497115313653552,0.0,0.0,0.097632522688993,0.09182823736138468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867720669909193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613673285473372,0.08569948227863196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035295173923186,0.1087671112084406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534305737962805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18163554201851687,0.11304141979075845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20896157368818735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022233370167007,0.0,0.08580120643606322,0.0,0.1115360041108411,0.0,0.0,0.09668038773099943,0.0,0.1035893404004224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20593659203916764,0.0,0.10316755087803543,0.0,0.08155505303687949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881296410863928,0.0,0.233125911662351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167046064760316,0.08921520640125377,0.0,0.0,0.09658833318597704,0.11518687969697372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545587546653386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256807571836512,0.18603243477242196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452015661250363,0.0,0.10224871790340996,0.104154472303583,0.0,0.0,0.1010536167859194,0.0,0.0723199402073833,0.0,0.08159702979864925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212433712405319,0.0,0.09406894642886483,0.0,0.0,0.1357609646589009,0.19640870541257555,0.10038634837477016,0.0,0.05957902241442922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063677038485384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807962600802793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749612516441316,0.098492984849141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516427517564548,0.0,0.0,0.06579730394788318
mentalhealth,boldly_mental,2019/02/01,"Would you sign up for this mental health workshop or am I wasting my time? As someone who struggles with anxiety and ADHD, creative outlets (writing, music, painting) have been my life lines more times than I can count. Because of that I want to start organizing creative based mental health workshops in my community that bring in art therapists and writing coaches (under supervision of a licensed psychologist) to help people express where they are in their mental health journey and where they want to go. I want to provide a setting where people feel safe to share their experiences with one another and where they can truly explore who they are on a deeper level with the support of like minded individuals. 

To cut to the chase, would anyone sign up for something like this? Is it worth my time to look into?

",10.23583251231527,9.372101489655172,9.171330049261083,66.20310344827587,58.24137931034482,10.768472906403945,41.40394088669951,9.606745405546679,4.195187192118226,656,30,101,9,7,205,93,145,0.056,0.754,0.19,0.9555,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,6,0,4,7,1,1,5,0,10,4,0,0,0,22,19,6,0,5,1,0,1,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,2,2,1,4,0,2,0,1,1,2,15,5,26,16,1,22,0,0,1,0,14,13,0,1,6,74,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996921631035076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702489989108925,0.11455758718226157,0.0,0.0,0.10470799366378046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128561009271506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648327200540673,0.0,0.0,0.0757176018273245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510581662898786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4775286035485594,0.0,0.0,0.1003736086962334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577215844222768,0.1463196099796237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575145799266205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4527353596524834,0.0,0.15120381728096774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147380862011447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076342247495507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268818551072133,0.11528410841400807,0.0,0.0,0.1059931241153054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655018527899975,0.0,0.0,0.16993340848862254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387014921227795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26195956603389664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649775480914415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127548085863836,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amandaem79,2019/02/01,"One year changed my life. Never dismiss how powerfully love can change your entire world. Alright, so I've had depression, various forms of anxiety, and PTSD since I was a young teen. I've had a LOT of shit happen to me, stuff that I didn't deserve, I made mistakes that didn't help, and I was in a very unhealthy relationship for a long time (like, 18 years). I was sexually, physically, and mentally abused as a kid/teenager, was raped when I was 17, had a stillbirth at 19, abusive alcoholic stepparent.... The list goes on.

I was single for 2 years, felt unloved and lonely and like I didn't matter to anyone. Christmas Day 2017, I tried to kill myself because I had no one and I was going through a cancer thing that had me terrified, and I guess I kinda felt like, ""what's the point in trying if I'm just gonna die anyways?"" 

My FB memories feed showed me earlier this week that in 2018, I had posted ""Sometimes, I think about leaving everything behind and getting on a bus and fucking off, and then creeping my own FB to see how few people actually noticed or gave a damn."" 

The first part of 2018 was bad for me. I tried dating again after 2 years of being single, it was an epic fail that combusted and further pushed me into the self-loathing category of ""not being good enough"". I ended up getting raped in May. That sure didn't help my mental state. People I thought I could trust proved to be nothing but ""fair-weather friends"" and I cut them out of my life. Couldn't deal with their falsehoods, but it hurt. Was spiralling and about to just throw in the towel. I had it all planned out.

In June, I started speaking with a guy online. We hit it off and agreed to meet after chatting for almost a week. We had a great first date, which turned into him coming to my place after work every day (it WAS July and he had no AC, whereas I did) and staying until the wee hours of the morning. 3 weeks into our relationship, he moved in with me (yes, my anxious brain thought I was being a fucking fool). Days, weeks, and months came and went with him living with me, being ingrained in my life. We never fight. We talk things through. He listens to me. He knows about my darkness, as I've told him. I know his. He accepts me. 

I started looking for a new job at the beginning of January because I was getting tired of crazy policy changes and low morale and generally feeling unimportant to my employer. Had an interview the second week of January for a position that would pretty much make me my own boss, pay me $12k a year salary, and would challenge my brain. Nailed it, got the job. Started there this week, and absolutely love it. My boss (restaurant owner) respects me, has listened to my ideas on how to make his business better, and is totally supportive of me and what I can do for him. 

My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months tomorrow. Not a huge long amount of time, but to be frank, I didn't expect us to last, because my poor negative brain kept looking for shit that wasn't there, red flags when all he had given were green ones. Anyways, this morning we sign a lease on a house rental (something I have wanted for more years than I can count, and one of the sticking points on why my relationship with my kid's dad fell apart (incompatible goals). This place will be a HUGE improvement on our living situation, as we've been living in the dingy, rundown shithole I moved into when I left my ex, because it was the only place I could find on short notice that fit the budget I had at that time.

Now, I don't want to just gush over my boyfriend. That's not what this post is about. This post is about the power of love and positivity. I wouldn't have been able to do the things I've done this past 6 months without him supporting me. When I was down, he didn't judge. He listened. He tried to help without being domineering. If I was feeling too fucked to do housework, he'd do it without complaint. If I just wanted to go to bed because I was absolutely done with the day, he'd tuck me in and kiss me goodnight. When I've been elated with joy, he's been right there with me. He has been patient as I learned to accept love, REAL love, and proven himself worthy of that love. Being able to trust someone after I've been so goddamned broken.... Man, that's huge. Being able to be myself, 100%, without worrying about looking stupid, or sounding morbid, or being expected to put on a happy face all the time... It's huge.

Finally, romantic love isn't what this is about. Anyone can love you this way, a friend, a sibling, a spouse. Honestly, in allllll of my 40 years, I'd never thought I would be this happy, be this loved by another person, unconditionally. Never thought I would be accepted in the way in which he has. Please, find that person for you. Trust them if they deserve it. Surround yourself with people who TRULY care about and respect you. 

NONE of this would have happened for me if I had given in and let my mental health define me. If I had gone through with my plan on Christmas Day 2017. 

I dunno, it really made a world of difference for me. As I saw earlier this week on Reddit ""Don't go today, because what if something awesome happens tomorrow?""",4.803629382787598,5.649503640394091,5.437628948130978,82.66315452042888,69.24630541871922,8.098667053028107,29.704795711388,8.219915518859313,1.996016227180528,4045,150,798,54,68,1308,425,1015,0.109,0.721,0.17,0.9981,10,2,3,0,2,1,165.0,8,4,4,11,31,57,12,0,46,2,100,29,6,9,10,142,169,61,2,22,24,3,4,3,2,9,7,5,1,5,51,55,2,1,19,2,3,13,27,21,0,7,67,16,120,36,131,71,18,141,1,5,7,15,77,57,6,16,67,547,171,12,0.13605117544149375,0.10746559709688412,0.044255440537632584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048465776914144935,0.045411866551026914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04755383999030687,0.03469292560809993,0.05123303427381158,0.0,0.06342009681072297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03786568287741754,0.16587106753555794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040108736198833705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518781066178871,0.0,0.05186876675279238,0.04623774689937635,0.0,0.1439241038750152,0.03906534694949556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724171953367536,0.0,0.0,0.146236254878068,0.04675426263103788,0.03906022601667277,0.0,0.047066546799270574,0.04738150710658698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281839229056127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04016698643762065,0.046859077667564634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038209661049513316,0.0,0.04075800795212663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04586104145576577,0.0,0.0870869760648222,0.04967913752241285,0.08289887305244283,0.07715004021917292,0.0,0.0,0.07007520043771027,0.125777119396227,0.07108112386299457,0.0,0.07732101830396931,0.038037757018675566,0.03627085117065566,0.049998967075696316,0.04995856943131676,0.044904017874137066,0.12030960512700604,0.09655267074586513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048205345818175184,0.0,0.0,0.09119223506273776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044661000795853126,0.05232826329300334,0.048548532395819584,0.05119507228915178,0.0,0.0,0.09000653238994967,0.0,0.050173489322456286,0.0,0.04984677865134988,0.03696662216443753,0.0,0.048019516851199484,0.04927333339918325,0.04637384821269321,0.0960969687255922,0.06646773211039621,0.0,0.12013568048792092,0.0802673393232713,0.1142487220067356,0.0,0.0,0.0385552813747611,0.3683744928854409,0.08582327452169539,0.06054347737459211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710758526705458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859475023347394,0.09640057892655167,0.03333775606612644,0.0,0.13990807171919986,0.04379969100997657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04351492405220202,0.10326344332083996,0.0,0.0,0.1229223966816687,0.0344910165413401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04911005497095885,0.043292080490096835,0.09432075461057368,0.0791964257713612,0.14214452131976096,0.049781111744518575,0.08574155761225963,0.0,0.1302994180544604,0.04613765223482293,0.0,0.0,0.05301218116933785,0.04558966963516856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051618674348435915,0.029052622259090364,0.0,0.0,0.14606804669311385,0.0,0.03872898681868084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03613839074060202,0.0,0.04731034921477145,0.0,0.09310305098851186,0.0375143127464193,0.050975740505677984,0.0,0.0,0.03842523981627528,0.0698258944759376,0.04485269711039516,0.0,0.0962977222290463,0.0483374836119107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191534864065635,0.0,0.10292617440775692,0.04274220758469433,0.0,0.0,0.03645092709764733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038635559418996,0.02905869990574012,0.0,0.1440125816490374,0.10577671265934098,0.05212360407786037,0.04298686875738107,0.0433342428264612,0.0,0.1231597566547592,0.0493282036006133,0.0,0.0,0.054550937505572016,0.0,0.0,0.03741882272365922,0.08024650823980121,0.0719940602696692,0.2546414417371331,0.0,0.0,0.04204026755755492,0.040921674809768535,0.0,0.0,0.17486463750411002,0.0,0.03301562536102884,0.04605552424735032,0.0,0.16107808589119474,0.0,0.0,0.20442915819974455
mentalhealth,IIDE4N20,2019/02/01,Weird dream. Concerning or no? Any opinions appreciated Dream was about me beating the living shit out of a bully from when I was 13-14 (Im 17 now. Haven't seen him for years). Should I talk to someone about this? Is it a repressed memory thats giving me damage? I've never been a cruel person. The dream was very vivid and it woke me up with my heart racing,0.5027327327327313,2.8488278918918937,2.6058558558558573,91.02457957957958,87.64864864864866,4.910510510510512,16.33033033033033,6.42735559955562,-0.2713255255255258,280,6,59,3,9,94,60,74,0.231,0.596,0.173,-0.7156,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,2,1,5,0,7,2,2,0,1,8,10,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,5,0,0,6,2,7,0,9,3,0,6,0,1,2,0,4,2,1,2,4,38,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21943693068919493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095489475605051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823833925427506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485552768249362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849368517184013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24887463901494286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28175617936726083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33123161403383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734100347700171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25936205714833105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662489985968935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077986222398228
mentalhealth,jenephur,2019/02/01,"Opinions Needed: Mental Health Appointment Scheduling App Hi, everyone. 

Let me make this extremely clear up front, I *am not* looking for backers from this. I truly am seeking your opinions. 

As someone who has been struggling with my own mental health, as well as someone who has struggled to find providers to help me, I came up with the idea for a mental health appointment scheduling app called Next Availability. When I spoke with people in my circle about my idea, I continually heard what a ""great"" or ""helpful"" idea it was, but Kickstarter support for my idea hasn't really been quick to take off. This makes me wonder if my idea would only help a small subset of people who have found it difficult to find a provider (like myself), which is why I'm turning to you. 

Would you want/use an app that let you see the next available appointment with a mental health provider near you? Knowing that the wait time could be weeks or months if you took the traditional scheduling route, would this make it easier for you to find the help you needed? 

I'm posting a link to my kickstarter, only because it has a video and deeper explanation. Again, I am not looking for funding! I'm looking for honest feedback about the usefulness of this product that I'm finding hard to get off the ground.

I'm located in the US, if that's helpful. Thank you for your time. 

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jenephur/next-availability-a-scheduling-app?ref=project_facebook&fbclid=IwAR1NBqluhamxf5D9vrcFZ__E1KA-HJKwPoVYqDx1WPpP_-hgSH-KnxsPrPA",10.234343832020995,11.411339311023625,7.924236220472442,68.40987139107615,57.464566929133866,9.607979002624672,34.256167979002626,9.3871,3.0767257742782146,1251,44,194,18,15,364,131,254,0.032,0.8270000000000001,0.141,0.9826,0,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,1,10,0,0,6,9,0,2,16,0,19,4,0,4,1,41,47,11,0,9,8,0,1,1,0,3,4,2,0,0,18,6,0,1,13,1,1,3,3,3,1,0,8,7,27,6,34,32,1,26,0,0,4,0,23,9,0,8,14,128,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496908650418429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0478046944633072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800765767326302,0.08969269627233473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261276210007538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493459596889565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867013776305487,0.0,0.0,0.08598454413611878,0.0,0.0,0.04097171928613187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645939451817537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024978424397146,0.0,0.0,0.3334312891439379,0.0,0.0,0.2628196103980422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4426386394875976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043098113350546655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038150675701274,0.0,0.038312523967150416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756158790686645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157039816079816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31611956537933605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259486880214968,0.0,0.0,0.11629630880943093,0.0,0.0,0.25020476869945263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192853605141844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873445074417104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510561017526356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05023848044467295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249135862273554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328916640898257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396524639175206,0.0,0.0,0.08899118561683655,0.0,0.0,0.058962808631526815,0.0,0.0,0.0721994915190425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914557946447564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712858138092562,0.0,0.08529949447798485,0.0,0.0,0.18866153854698992,0.06773053784894995,0.0,0.0,0.046254718983207835,0.0,0.06290457057556023,0.0,0.07050986857686713,0.0,0.0707627263852427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850441950219792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671240178447873,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bunniiieee,2019/02/01,"I’ve been doing so well for a year and I was just made fun of for my struggles. What do I do? I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, and Xanax abuse. I’ve been clean for over a year and mostly depression free. I was just told I should go back to how I was and some very nasty stuff attacking mental health problems in general. How do I keep my head up and ignore the hurtful words?
Just trying to stay okay. Thanks guys",1.4210335917312662,3.6650716976744206,2.543643410852713,93.84541343669252,82.02325581395348,6.14780361757106,20.020671834625325,7.3871296695380915,0.46734005167958603,330,9,72,5,9,105,57,86,0.314,0.531,0.154,-0.955,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,8,13,1,2,3,1,10,3,1,3,0,20,15,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,6,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,8,1,0,7,0,8,6,10,7,2,8,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,2,3,48,10,0,0.0,0.22685370537107824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646954815251903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21781810751422848,0.0,0.14722411042320652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32981557796679944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881348685326682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18957960716699865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19649745190500228,0.20351743465750152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496632898043665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018213081850345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811680050013917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19295082700914093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832053305783608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407530524936066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003197948735907,0.21918064055693476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176274462246864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829521971719044,0.0,0.12999158756147886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579779727615121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721492617881686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24659326613118376
mentalhealth,bc2u93,2019/02/01,Is it actually a good idea to talk to your friends about your mental health rather than a trained professional? I was just thinking about the whole “movement” (can we call it that?) recently towards expressing how we feel and if we feel depressed etc. we should talk to friends and family about it. But is this really helpful? Most people aren’t trained to deal with or help people with these issues. The majority of people aren’t therapists/psychiatrists. Like if we had a physical illness it would be terrible advice to just talk to our friends? ,5.643257575757578,7.881583363636366,5.565542929292928,77.20164772727277,68.8989898989899,9.394444444444442,32.57702020202019,9.827888789773867,3.4539989898989902,439,20,76,11,8,137,66,99,0.081,0.7290000000000001,0.191,0.9072,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,6,2,0,0,7,7,0,0,5,0,10,2,0,1,0,24,13,7,0,5,7,0,2,1,3,2,2,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,2,9,5,14,8,4,3,0,1,0,0,19,1,0,4,2,58,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.16682545245029348,0.0,0.0,0.16705327776047274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456211069949773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17624502033304104,0.14724155491122226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19065776691843067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611592592087199,0.0,0.17287793088838302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962335548990352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338725245405354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171502823029248,0.0,0.0,0.2291723637362088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929851108498332,0.0,0.17843050067009206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351899297919949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17228039964256675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555518230573645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951685926883528,0.0,0.16879544811295125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4122165996829307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953976958539438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086290193133704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121440095193608,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MyFilmClubApp,2019/02/01,"MyFilmClub Study Finds Young People Suffer from Isolation More Than Over 55’s A recent survey of 2040 people conducted by MyFilmClub app (available for free on [Google Play](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.utio.myfilmclub) and[ iTunes](https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/my-film-club/id1102750525?ls=1&mt=8)) on cinema going and loneliness in Britain has found that over 13% of society always feel isolated in their day to day life, with a further 59% saying they often do.  
 

Results generated by Censuswide, on behalf of MyFilmClub, state that 16-24 year olds contributed the most (22%) to this 13% of the British population who always feel isolated on a daily basis.  The 25-34 year olds made up the second highest proportion, contributing towards 18% of the overall isolation statistic. Interestingly, only 5% of the over 55s did.  
 

Britain’s loneliness epidemic, which until now is primarily seen as an issue for the older generation, is also highlighted in the result that 40% of 16-24 year olds admit to finding that they struggle to find methods of socialising that appeal to them compared top 13% of those aged 55+.  
 

Other interesting findings show almost a quarter of, 23% of respondents, felt that there wasn’t enough being done to create environments to cater for the needs of the more introverted members of society.  
 

More than a third of Brits, 36%, said they would actively seek out a community group who have similar interests in order to form new friendship groups, with 50% of the 35-44 age group saying they would do so (compared to just 24% of the over 55s).  
 

The 16-24 age group were proven to be more confident to chat about their own experiences of loneliness and anxiety with people who have suffered similar problems (68%), compared to only 44% of over 55s.  
 

3 in 5 Brits say they are more likely to attend the cinema if they were with friends/a group than if they were alone, with a gender split of women 65% to 54% men.  
 

It is worth noting that although the average cost of a cinema price has gone down from £7.49 (2017) to £7.22 in 2018 (Statista), people are still finding that high prices are determining their choice to stay at home, with 68% choosing instead to watch films at via VOD/subscription platforms from the comfort of their living rooms. A quarter (25%) of respondents say they feel lazier than before, with a further 23% not liking the stress of being around people in a confined environment.  To draw people back, off peak pricing and regular discounting tops the list of encouragement (46%) and well as cheaper concessions (36%) and a wider variety of films (26%).  
 

Wez Merchant, creator of MyFilmClub says of the results “Hopefully these results can provide further evidence of the urgent need to generate more community within our society, targeting not just the older generation but the young too. It is great to see they are more aware of themselves however, the stigma of talking issues through is not such a scary prospect to them.”  
 

The creators of MyFilmClub app are on a mission to provide a platform that encourages face to face interactions by generating readymade communities of film lovers. The app provides a platform for local people to connect in chat rooms that they have either joined or created, called 'clubs'. Once you have chosen the film you wish to see, geotags pool the nearest cinemas that the film is showing in. Cinema options, film information and ticket purchasing links can be shared with other club members on your group chat. MyFilmClub can even help out the most forgetful among us by sending push notifications to smartphone calendars, making sure users don't miss the titles they are looking forward to seeing.  


Within MyFilmClub, cinemas can also create their own clubs, providing customers with news of special screenings as part of their own network of communications. As well as hosting competitions, film reviews and news items, the app is also a purchasing platform for home entertainment releases.  


The invaluable benefits of community and belonging to mental health have been proven in a recent survey conducted by The British Journal of Psychiatry. Results state that we are 48% less likely to develop depression if engaged in community activities once a month or more. The NHS is placing similar emphasis on face to face interaction with Social Prescribing, but this initiative is borne predominantly from worry about loneliness in the elderly. Results of this survey beg the question; what are we doing for those who are less likely to visit their GP and shelter themselves behind smartphone screens?  
 

Grainne Peat, Managing Director of the Event Cinema Association (ECA) says ""The power that cinema has to provide escapism is a mantra I have always championed. Cinemas continue to adapt their offerings to be as inclusive as possible, so that more individuals can collectively enjoy the magic of the big screen. The survey conducted by MyFilmClub clearly demonstrates the need for communities to proactively reach out to vulnerable and isolated Individuals, encouraging them to engage in local activities, including going to the cinema. The MyFilmClub app provides a great mechanism to connect people and encourage them to go to their local cinema, whether It be on their own (something I often do!) or with others.""  


Patrick von Sychowski, Editor of cinema industry resource Celluloid Junkie says, ""cinemas play an increasingly important role in catering to marginalised and isolated communities, whether special screenings for mothers with babies, films subtitled in immigrants' native languages, subtitled film for hearing impaired, or autism and dementia friendly screenings."" He continues, ""isolation remains a social stigma, but cinemas can go a long way to help, with statistics in the UK showing growing numbers of people coming to the big screen solo. Any help with this, such as the MyFilmClub app, that can encourage them to do so more often and even connect with others is a win-win-win for individuals, cinemas and society.""  
 

Jon Salmon, Mental Health Campaigner and founder co-founder of [Byte Entertainment](https://www.byteentertainment.com/) said ""Prescribing tablets doesn't always fix the problem. Apps like MyFilmClub allow anyone who is suffering from anxiety or depression to build up the confidence to get out and enjoy a film with others. These statistics demonstrate the overwhelming need for fun social apps that act as springboards out of loneliness.”",14.127061054639242,11.826412698974838,12.419213680400526,50.46788031816905,52.019571295433366,16.132373913608877,50.02338585578361,14.31968215955575,7.3544832744532815,5258,269,712,165,43,1662,489,1073,0.065,0.797,0.138,0.9979,2,4,2,0,0,0,198.0,4,3,26,4,27,45,0,3,77,0,59,8,4,10,2,110,89,48,0,13,19,1,4,5,2,2,3,10,4,2,39,43,0,1,15,38,10,14,6,11,2,4,14,26,35,35,192,67,24,111,0,7,12,1,88,65,0,17,34,487,74,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224623641336038,0.06438105668090104,0.0,0.14913272140731956,0.20689496402139845,0.06735247148479473,0.0,0.0422722730830544,0.0,0.095107477991304,0.0,0.0,0.04346509667250395,0.0,0.0,0.05533733483557119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779872000179858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289526034982931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634743242852076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354703531192465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801786597616856,0.0,0.1070800320555475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361328028142517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422993477552368,0.0,0.0821147934527346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080633727988308,0.0,0.0,0.09429288351572823,0.0,0.059685242122391874,0.0,0.28407458459262663,0.0,0.0,0.136314789185731,0.04802618593378091,0.0,0.03247706511198418,0.0,0.14131232650868442,0.0,0.0,0.1370675887775081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215054037976212,0.07006106106422895,0.0,0.12499758001357787,0.06567753712114148,0.12470705405654495,0.06174086492667576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976189869062993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04390683968898466,0.15184599977316093,0.0,0.05489016078303693,0.05501138974516322,0.05220040120251152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588191616132257,0.04149359949465209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528929572491598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049617093575363314,0.0,0.0,0.18436926051896174,0.0,0.06003642062093317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568560084065406,0.13240094442583628,0.0,0.09455396277785592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731535882940495,0.0,0.3878575647344905,0.0,0.06494603100411946,0.0,0.0,0.0700782842479964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896122549464802,0.0,0.0,0.06963563589631236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227548975943865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182605420344859,0.34603587001110725,0.0,0.0,0.14860513239047027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009890887726652,0.0,0.04785532356878293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625639201932093,0.04964263172216312,0.0,0.07120632974183233,0.06498519071141233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05858692364376389,0.0,0.0,0.04996343902880187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477319939551126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049341280553487916,0.0,0.0,0.11178215767886833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148320085561129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631285007239367,0.0,0.08831616383025019,0.0,0.0,0.12009081713842228
mentalhealth,rasmunsen,2019/02/01,"I feel like I will never achieve anything, i am constantly tired and at this point just cynical about myself and my future prospects As ironic as it may sound eversince i was a child i dreamt of doing big things...even now i often find myslef dayereaming and planning successful career and so on...the thing is i never do anything to get there...whenever i start working on sth or studing I get physically tired in matter of minutes...I had streight to bed even if it is 11 oclock...I have lots of time but i can't bring myself to do anything and then I am so frustrated from myslef even hate myself for it... It can take me a week to answer stupidly easy email if i answer at all. At this point i am so cynical about myself that i laugh at myself for hoping to ever achieve anything great...
And in the end i just wait for people to come and pity me and when they dont i fell abandoned...
The worst thing is i realized all of this a long time ago but never was able to do anything about it.
I tried heavy-lifting, running or even nofap (though i was never addicted to porn) 

I dont even know why i write this...i read countless answers to simillar posts and never got better
Guess i just want the attention",2.7181367318711693,4.603705385892116,3.7213989330171913,88.82235131396958,76.05394190871368,6.416202331555027,24.754198774945664,7.2636822038024595,1.0575949812290055,942,32,191,11,21,303,131,241,0.151,0.764,0.085,-0.9602,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,6,18,14,5,0,6,0,21,4,0,0,8,45,35,23,0,4,9,0,1,1,0,2,3,1,1,1,11,10,0,2,8,1,0,4,8,8,0,0,5,2,31,6,29,28,4,33,0,2,0,1,4,10,0,9,19,138,42,6,0.1088173960282991,0.0,0.0,0.11862702372176535,0.0,0.0,0.09646005591311548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4477372254412856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624014383513972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937365513276485,0.0,0.1175929470184212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550663554309792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637991416675763,0.0,0.0,0.3593643189769368,0.098431564621091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05502134502882373,0.07773916946536068,0.0,0.0,0.09945712857651792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370519630478745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703121226213931,0.11997156328035465,0.11987462990687672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743465004286143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808022742061944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059803195036394335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05316268312044261,0.0,0.0,0.09629997120128936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251265875635316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41963342098349293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544028101808307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573522427497312,0.0,0.10421698548857056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884684356108064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702151298889373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181713932125217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458688534414396,0.0,0.10691253910170688,0.0,0.12690459742083868,0.2501391780978143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387986894174126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418331953900493,0.0,0.08728675132975736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981907744523114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922036031753342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whygamoralad,2019/02/01,"I still ger dreams of forgetting to do my thesis for university, yet it was 5 years ago. I keep getting dreams where I wake up panicking that I've not started/ done enough of my thesis/ dissertation for my degree. Even though I finished it 5 years ago and have done further education since. 

On top of that I did really well I got 96% and had never being more organised or put more effort into a piece of work, I was finished over a month before it was due in.

I don't understand why after 5 years I still wake up in panic, even though I did so well with it.",3.75,4.662324482456143,5.286798245614037,82.5396710526316,71.71929824561403,8.50701754385965,25.653508771929822,8.841846274778883,1.7342666666666662,437,13,91,8,8,148,72,114,0.057,0.8320000000000001,0.111,0.584,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,11,3,0,1,2,0,12,2,2,0,1,10,17,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,1,2,0,9,0,13,2,16,7,4,26,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,1,15,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058854581051334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681540439263205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531284053615372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827578096439636,0.0,0.2279167647091388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014292426896406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379927783590985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335789956233692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771656685072992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307037819818146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024337883216924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17344630672797678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105309617711074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272353906871285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212184909875667,0.0,0.27557490040513244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390314331744238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796160317766176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102611193321591,0.0,0.15568687857747388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560824259115744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333225276785312
mentalhealth,Pattherat69,2019/02/01,"Abilify the most sporadic sleep I’ve ever had I was prescribed Abilify by a psychiatrist who really never let me finish talking (but that’s not the point) I was put on a low dose 5mg because I was previously very overly medicated in my youth, and didn’t want that to happen again.

I’ve been taking it about a week, and I feel like it is kinda of helping? May be too soon to tell, I’m at least sleeping again, but not in a good way.

I take the medicine, and I’m dirt tired so I stated taking it at night, after the first day, good 30 minutes before bed.

An I can only sleep for 2 to 3 hours at a time then I’m wide awake again. This is a problem cause I go to bed around midnight, and I’m left up from 3 am to whenever I fall asleep, I try to cut out naps, in hopes to fix this problem, but even when that I still only get a 2 to 3 hours of sleep, and then I’m wide awake, and dirt tired by 11 am. 

Anyone else have a similar experience? Any advice?",3.821245954692557,3.2834873543689334,5.597233009708738,85.50889158576055,71.08737864077669,8.614239482200649,26.38996763754045,8.07648339933343,1.3066258899676375,729,19,172,9,12,253,125,206,0.161,0.7979999999999999,0.041,-0.9774,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,12,8,1,0,13,0,15,9,5,1,2,24,29,13,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,2,0,9,8,0,0,1,1,0,3,4,4,0,1,6,1,13,4,27,20,2,41,0,1,0,0,4,16,0,4,21,104,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119319992221078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433944734659557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671930712178437,0.12707554849283373,0.0,0.11040618110353012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560287023404133,0.0,0.1055338807164176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740511159928697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998415225986563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360475485021334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191558903369807,0.11218531125181984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131765120082533,0.0,0.0,0.06270942396693101,0.08860158787987772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549334309898546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479655630541814,0.0,0.0704847566251514,0.2080481171746563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967254988427597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312956341614426,0.0,0.0,0.12318217230442795,0.2442740543863065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475064047002155,0.12682125029161426,0.0,0.060591053040833176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493946453679824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565367801663888,0.0,0.0,0.1163865690564978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18864916370706614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172412033660052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23734526871029105,0.0,0.12467671168879126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945188982913266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964476488705946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904440473432163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797481054727071,0.09968446283797514,0.1084009958294192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231842659287133,0.28509088176339764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420303105389199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233142310057018,0.07315159224966174,0.09844316450829026,0.09948324405676294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FellowCitizen123,2019/02/01,"As hard as this day was at the beginning, it might have been most normal day in a while.  As someone who has struggled with a depression for last few year, I find it incredible how close this comes to sounding just like my situation. In fact, this video made my day a little bit easier and I hope that there will be a sequence to this video. I hope that this makes a day easier for at least one of you as it did for me. What are your thought about it? Are we actually the most important thing in all of this to get back on track?

​

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M4KU1jDEzE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M4KU1jDEzE)",8.096679536679538,9.29589148648649,5.796087516087518,81.75081081081082,62.06306306306306,9.586100386100386,27.56885456885457,9.606745405546679,2.065593564993565,509,13,95,9,7,143,75,111,0.064,0.797,0.139,0.8358,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,2,0,0,5,5,0,1,7,0,10,0,0,3,2,19,18,7,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,15,5,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,0,1,5,2,9,3,20,10,6,18,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,5,10,73,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.174674141321076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394194221803632,0.21749956499186995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763676949520295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19541712231090053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418908615338536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4617500933764828,0.0,0.15416887407250404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359897552716746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351795036625804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034513441547826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555665588546125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590551818421013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744833697957087,0.1794008781095729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693702130215204,0.11948112813390822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18988632361422667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537794081449262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129222886868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011988490649791,0.0,0.0,0.15166261341940204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712533963695893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891689743871615,0.0,0.0,0.1421027207806585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21749956499186995,0.11526746683000184
mentalhealth,iamsad42069,2019/02/01,"I just want to know whats wrong with me  

I haven't been able to interact with people normally at any point in my life. When I was in elementary school I was extremely aggressive and prone to tantrums far past the age where that behavior is normal. This behavior continued into jr high and highschool. My tantrums went from scratching my arms up and screaming to punching myself, banging my head on walls, hitting myself in the face, biting my arms and making non human sounds. I've never had control of these outbursts. They're almost always triggered by other people, especially if I'm cornered or they stand to close to me. They're embarrassing, I have no control over them, I'm an adult woman, I don't want to have temper tantrums like a 5 year old. 

In addition to this I have no conversation or people skills. Often times when people try to talk to me I feel like I'm not fully there and no matter how hard I try I can't have a normal conversation and it's mostly ""umm""s and ""uhh""s. I've never had an actual friendship in real life. I have internet friends but I usually lose interest in talking to them after a while. The only person I genuinely enjoy being around is my boyfriend. I met him on the internet and I’ve met him once in real life. He’s the only person I’m comfortable touching me or being near me. 

It feels like I’m trapped in my own brain. I’m stuck living with my mother because I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’ve never had a job, I doubt I could hold one. The last time I was in school I was 15 and even then I wasn’t able to stop myself from acting aggressive and I wasn’t able to speak to other children normally. 

I hate living like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ptsd before but none of those would cause me to act like this. But these diagnoses are based on therapists, psychs and social workers I saw for less than 6 months. I always discontinue therapy shortly after I start because I start to hate whoever is performing it and I don’t want to melt down or attack a therapist and get sent to prison or the hospital.  

  
I'm not going to hurt anyone. I completely isolate myself partially because I'm so scared of hurting someone. ",2.9972619047619027,5.128277453514741,4.523355442176872,82.26911479591838,76.05215419501134,7.584603174603174,25.537471655328805,8.472884824447931,1.9245931519274384,1771,64,332,35,40,591,222,441,0.175,0.7340000000000001,0.091,-0.9893,1,1,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,3,6,11,28,9,3,15,0,31,10,5,6,3,66,60,29,0,10,12,1,5,5,1,1,5,3,0,6,15,23,0,4,4,0,0,5,17,19,0,1,17,9,53,9,53,38,4,56,0,4,1,0,24,28,0,10,27,215,68,7,0.23881063546780185,0.0,0.0776815771227527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971145176539372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247305295356615,0.0,0.0,0.05413314042791193,0.0,0.06089649415980492,0.0,0.0,0.05566064964764402,0.0,0.0,0.07086403212041112,0.0,0.09056052455577847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557674682099148,0.0,0.06773675384956084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886388286703055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177476868084305,0.0,0.0,0.08346280257517162,0.0,0.17856428943842734,0.06355695340759117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856241679858854,0.16159184538362253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515478163315936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049988849950343,0.1137375771298792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150150152234304,0.0,0.04158956682881194,0.0,0.04524052917653526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713091407299863,0.15718404093725594,0.08169620295332171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821103199029855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043448297821695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789942355387458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749605321029208,0.0648875138457277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867901430044552,0.1944513561640549,0.0,0.14058277755448795,0.0,0.0,0.08905600523122062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313598452324434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635387902813462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18418548428145468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119782912793801,0.0,0.0,0.08353052988353787,0.08477517761240393,0.05394142235360208,0.12108416632842665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599059118022229,0.22074830076020485,0.13901349035657926,0.0,0.0,0.07525108031201162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305228441799054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812125236427161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969703565182164,0.24168911258475834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114578957565052,0.06744782548735494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268759795713686,0.0,0.0,0.06655212816116081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279646285352829,0.0,0.0,0.09103359140356172,0.1848517027374924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283493467035553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080911636938811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767205868511163,0.0,0.14085670016912216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379328387334272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654807454148818,0.17406796050828482,0.0,0.05126207317567462
mentalhealth,throwforRz,2019/02/01,"why do i feel more at home in a hospital than at my own house? I always feel more at peace and happy in the teens ward than I do at home, until i start missing my online friends and art. At home I'm isolated and sad, but at the hospital I'm more at peace with myself I guess. Maybe it's being around other people ??(I don't live alone my family just isn't good) 
Does anyone else feel like this? Do you know why?",0.2905118601747816,2.150063943820225,2.4531835205992536,95.08766541822723,83.71910112359551,5.7533083645443215,15.506866416978777,6.937597516519254,-0.3788811485642945,317,5,75,4,9,107,55,89,0.057,0.745,0.197,0.9322,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,12,15,5,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,5,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,11,4,14,14,4,12,0,2,0,0,2,10,0,1,3,46,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18952722272649924,0.0,0.0,0.1522661709383963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279540828089929,0.18749959835375207,0.0,0.1629039957584832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013981221024493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528685113096281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17251102770221624,0.0,0.2775827123215084,0.13073138253594552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138117805817554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348719274149844,0.0,0.0,0.20158918864824904,0.0,0.0,0.19480116003161008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5506755285227852,0.0,0.0,0.21115120510228064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056904930864062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940192069781062,0.0,0.1615875890292144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384267709400826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686541809259722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295245234454814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302483364488646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MayuMayu04,2019/02/01,How do you know when and who to talk to about certain problems when you don't trust anyone to that level? Can I get some advice?,2.93888888888889,4.002543814814814,3.660185185185188,92.86583333333336,73.81481481481481,5.4,20.907407407407405,3.1291,-0.3215037037037041,101,2,22,0,2,32,22,27,0.193,0.737,0.07,-0.5664,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,6,5,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.516429190913022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36952883199871217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761114746391354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904414029657751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5056885417901484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247760313537204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xxxxorcistx,2019/02/01,"Anyone else? I’m so over emotional. I can’t even watch tv without crying and most of the time it’s stuff that’s not even really that sad but when it comes to my personal life, I’m just kinda numb. It’s hard for me to show and feel emotion for things that happen to me or others. Crying at funerals, sending get well texts, being happy at parties. Like I just can’t do it. But turn on the tv and I can cry like a baby. Why???? ",-0.8556884057971033,1.2390211847826078,1.893478260869568,95.14246376811596,92.58695652173913,4.8057971014492775,15.27536231884058,6.42735559955562,-0.4307420289855069,327,7,75,4,12,113,64,92,0.165,0.631,0.204,0.6336,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,0,0,14,12,8,1,0,7,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,10,4,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,2,1,0,0,3,6,4,11,11,1,8,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,3,4,50,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122947571269387,0.18016322516251254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146585293210565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5794378275145454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468871627733996,0.3955802932992179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322740588010173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890720680700258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918662693324264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548986829721995,0.1871790956612004,0.15751317524246386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241971079127939,0.17180771063042047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353190378856102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264408367027752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20128843530535145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681662916580825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253051140192307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912574446512611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580963330349909,0.0,0.15866328760589415,0.0,0.0,0.1694981840393299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tengurin,2019/02/01,"I really wish I could speak my happiness into existence. I wish I could just lie and say my mental health is flourishing and keep lying until it eventually becomes true. But the “fake it til you make it” has never worked for me but I want it to so bad. I want to enjoy my life. I want to love life. Right now, I don’t.",-0.08966417910447788,2.0795751641791083,2.646399253731346,91.00601679104479,88.40298507462688,6.335074626865673,15.83768656716418,7.6454224807358475,0.2529119402985076,244,5,55,5,8,85,46,67,0.133,0.581,0.28600000000000003,0.8464,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,1,2,17,13,7,0,7,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,13,4,7,11,0,6,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,38,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17369047695361048,0.0,0.22974500848258014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321788025955535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214443020516044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22111867185857573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490035904775412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938655278937473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774883719015464,0.0,0.13885693671055505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963820949333314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16044012586037565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326483067188874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765046557442524,0.0,0.16542820196335184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680919827896549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784322602985946,0.0,0.0,0.15144318760718234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fleetwoodsix,2019/02/01,"I get so overwhelmingly angry I attack myself I’ve been going through this for months. I get overwhelming feelings of anger that are so bad I hit myself in the face, tear hear out my head and bite down so hard on my hands and my fingers that it hurts my teeth, and leaves raised red bite marks all over me.

Usually this is anger over specific situations from the past (mainly anger at someone who cheated on me last year) and I try to step back from these situations and think about them logically, which used to help, but nowadays the feeling comes over me so quickly and gets so intense and hard to bear that I lose control of myself completely.

Sometimes I wonder if what I’m going through is similar to a panic attack, and the physical symptoms of one are definitely there when it happens. I am going to my GP in a week and I’m on a waiting list to see a counsellor, but in the meantime nothing seems to get better. There isn’t a lot on the internet about this either so while I’m sure I’m not completely alone in feeling like this, it feels like this is too unique a problem for anyone to really “get it.”",7.41,6.239236000000003,7.603636363636365,76.1704545454546,64.0,10.727272727272727,35.0,9.800150414767053,3.162409090909091,880,33,173,15,11,287,124,220,0.16399999999999998,0.7240000000000001,0.112,-0.8897,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,14,17,6,3,12,0,8,6,5,2,2,31,34,20,0,2,5,0,8,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,16,11,0,2,8,0,0,5,2,13,0,1,1,11,20,4,33,32,4,29,0,4,2,0,4,14,0,4,12,120,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888698904988954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701449972540283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831472068319514,0.0,0.09569015202725203,0.1039059735961219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006106235932386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719793227546466,0.2609554167165932,0.0,0.1395751074831774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516915476221536,0.1778063755379608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32508561922241763,0.0,0.212174060410486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100458753480086,0.0,0.22295568757274625,0.0,0.12771597662711007,0.0,0.14025801494630802,0.0,0.08341253652878708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322042920976726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014388906966366,0.0,0.13176877507245294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159461008560148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392215827841227,0.0,0.10579827812655568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993304261536345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940787029360235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843268253297151,0.0,0.0,0.14600882756308536,0.0,0.0,0.11879637261230805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907659611494555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972234413740029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916616811732573,0.11328961441534932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27976170212868884,0.0,0.0,0.10544143536773977,0.0,0.1230788092942857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728748447803253,0.12934550205787151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797390216074557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844896582513909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748010686652354,0.13705805402334273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982188511380327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495477017655932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013818883727533
mentalhealth,Mispeled_Divel,2019/02/01,"I feel trapped I am in high school and I know something mentally is not right with me. I feel very depressed and I can't find any motivation for anything, and when I told my mom how bad it is she just brushed it off and said it was just school stress and to go to the councilor. I know that this is not something that a school counselor could usually help with and I feel trapped.  I went to the councilor and she just told me to sleep more, it really hasn't done anything I want to be taken more seriously but I just feel like giving up because my older sister has been going through something similar for years and my mother has done the same thing. I don't know what to do.",5.420652173913044,5.236458275362324,5.502717391304348,86.33494565217394,67.69565217391303,8.63913043478261,31.018115942028984,8.07648339933343,1.8875333333333333,534,19,116,6,8,168,77,138,0.112,0.8270000000000001,0.061,-0.416,0,2,3,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,4,0,16,1,1,2,0,30,32,11,0,2,7,3,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,9,10,0,0,9,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,9,6,19,1,14,21,3,12,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,0,5,82,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533014449717052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307195012118775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170480514171068,0.08545506012380713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119257723503796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074054911313765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28691445994647674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835256163600257,0.10014770597863587,0.0,0.0,0.1281259285204828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13447757315602601,0.15933995882876295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396259451263314,0.1481124303790172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23112490785317075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848697760469151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127282251818246,0.0,0.0,0.1641821809180444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898056648018838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197166430395714,0.1333473898873509,0.0,0.0,0.4256220467530458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028555910387028,0.0,0.0,0.32376221419233603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058066454257414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931322329618156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26790424981338395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543932230191968,0.11566674501302893,0.08268434378874127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995226877580646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027410574062808
mentalhealth,maggiwithmilo,2019/02/01,"Is this what is expected when visiting a psychologist? Honestly I had my first psychologist visit. I came out feeling worse and shittier than when I went in. I am suffering from anxiety and there are days when I suffer from suicidal thoughts. I visited a therapist twice before being recommended to a psychologist. 

I am suffering from anxiety due to being useless and learning way too slow at my first job. From the beginning he had the nochalant attitude why even end up like this (this attitude is my assumption). He started by saying its not a big deal you can just quit it if you dont like it or just stick with it. Honestly this job matters to me cause I was jobless for a solid 8 months. Thats why I was so stressed out about it. My mum was in the room with me. My mum said to him she did suggest me to let go off my job. He said thats the problem with people these days. Being overprotective of their kids. When their boss reprimends them they go into a mental breakdown. Eventhough in the previous 10 minutes in has been repeated twice that the problem was due to my own capabilities. I felt so stressed out with that sentence that came out of the room and had a solid crying session while the doctor continues with my mom. Maybe he was right I was too overprotected I got angry about one sentence. I was mentally abused since I was a kid though he stopped in recent years. My father would let go of his temper and all his anger and scream and yell at me over tiny things like me standing in his way and drag out all of my pass mistakes until he is satisfied. I felt attacked with the fact that despite years of endurement. I am considered a weakling. Yes he does not know about this part but I expected psychologist to be more sensitive. Again. I expected. Than again there was no reason I needed to endure this since I was not being paid to be there. I am paying to be there. So after my mental breakdown I went into his room where he was still talking with my mom. Once I went in I was immediately asked to get out. He kept repeating for me to be removed from the room. I then said I did not endure all this years of scolding and abuse to say that I am one who could not take a boss' crictism. I was immediately told to tell that to a therapist and called to leave the room. His tone makes it feel like I was treated lesser person. Like fck off please. If even a person suffering from anxiety is treated like a lesser person, why would you want to visit a psychologist? I used to not understand this stigma because people around me seemed to be more accepting over those with mental health issues. But now it is quite obvious.

Maybe psychologists act this way because they do not need that personal attachment with their patients and that is how they deal with it. Honestly I expected a psychologist to be a bit more understanding. Is my expectations wrong? I hope people won't go all over me over my wrong expectations but correct me properly. Are all psychologist like this? Should I go find another one? Maybe its time for me to end this. I cant do this anymore. ",4.097045454545455,5.9513292474747495,5.1086405723905735,80.47740530303035,72.18181818181819,8.721043771043771,28.199915824915827,9.2995712137729,2.510985521885522,2439,94,465,56,48,799,251,594,0.118,0.794,0.08800000000000001,-0.9454,4,0,0,0,2,0,48.0,0,3,7,4,28,30,3,2,27,1,58,2,0,7,8,94,95,29,1,19,15,5,4,7,0,4,2,7,5,6,36,32,0,2,13,0,2,17,11,16,0,7,35,11,75,14,79,43,11,87,0,5,0,0,55,33,0,5,40,343,111,9,0.0,0.15627668194609054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915288732617055,0.15135156126705065,0.0,0.06540331871436658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587082614365125,0.06165306539491471,0.07502608576399346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040334384700333,0.0,0.05611742565119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199882196133069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734092336963336,0.15085532456408998,0.0,0.06774740802876875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526546137033369,0.0,0.07244147188372001,0.08506281939498896,0.13598028072607327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750121592525661,0.057712089368093314,0.0,0.07729130164015711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682182082114866,0.0,0.0,0.08711689451891558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669121637911582,0.047113713498199074,0.12664205129628056,0.0,0.060275851843201486,0.11219173971173477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034455436550214665,0.0,0.18740062729631154,0.0,0.05274514286837651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701003083781004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655018686787515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883323433866198,0.19633151374053773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036243641610772016,0.0,0.0,0.06983007553007323,0.0,0.1348738819404273,0.0,0.2255341814159321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04402122173596423,0.0,0.19876278478813195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658428256608673,0.0,0.0,0.15447647367843567,0.052639566216873206,0.0,0.0,0.09780014505185344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023313720194385,0.13406549264985165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141593820143657,0.0,0.13716142623674354,0.2303351951858653,0.0,0.07239179027691353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620786215852134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028896873300375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780617400019172,0.0651163147086642,0.0,0.0,0.056319768546028985,0.18819674384430285,0.10488999300323794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06003715468286663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910677425842584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0466787788075544,0.0,0.052666660044275296,0.0551360065512886,0.1510878626460637,0.0,0.0,0.07213709586817682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049585161350885136,0.05300700963438213,0.05764200826006435,0.0,0.0,0.15314288174933496,0.043813338491712886,0.0,0.06479419282768707,0.05235584462977537,0.03845517572164061,0.0,0.0,0.06301674085949767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730969649519914,0.0,0.05695844084718004,0.0,0.0,0.03889820985894953,0.15704085534407247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18340511846123767,0.17852513916194387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720728676254749,0.09369602729554148,0.14420894532047734,0.0,0.12740626395608265
mentalhealth,Frunmpertins,2019/02/01,"I have a burn-out and I can absolutely not handle guilt. I really just need to vent..
I was 'diagnosed' with a burn-out this week after being home from work since almost two months. I can also really recognize myself in this diagnosis and I feel like I started a heavy but absolutely necessary proces. Two feelings that I have a super hard time dealing with are feeling insecure and having a lot of guilt about so many little and so many (in my head) big things.

I work very active with a psychologist because I really want to get an insight on this. And I realize that first of all I need a lot of rest and try to let go of all the things I 'have to do', but that is incredibly hard for me.

So normally today I would go out with one of my closest friends. We would go to a concert, we plannend this for months, I would sleep there and the day after that we would meet up with other friends. Yesterday morning I canceled here. Explaining that being on a loud concert right now is something that absolutely not makes me happy and that it even makes me anxious. That getting there (she lives an hour away and I have some problems/fear with driving my car, especially now) feels really impossible for me and taking public transport with all the bad connections seems really stressful right now. That I am super sorry but that I hope she understands.

And now nothing - after 24 hours she didn't even respond. I feel so incredibly guilty and I also feel hurt but I have the feeling I am not allowed to feel hurt. This feeling guilty is something I almost cannot handle and has kept me awake now almost the whole night.

Does someone recognize this incredibly biting feeling of guilt? Having the feeling you are always hurting someone of making someone mad? How do you deal with that?

Thank you for everyone who reads this. Writing this already helps! ",5.012254793916681,6.6263389283667635,5.705171919770772,78.06731044743223,69.45845272206303,8.463786643156272,29.755455146572622,8.950670267944501,2.5485361692748514,1462,57,260,27,26,475,168,349,0.132,0.728,0.14,-0.5902,1,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,3,3,0,5,19,18,1,5,17,0,29,3,2,5,3,74,59,24,0,9,8,0,13,1,2,4,1,3,1,0,24,25,0,1,16,3,0,6,5,10,0,4,3,16,42,8,37,49,8,38,0,3,0,0,20,12,0,8,21,199,66,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365874507250597,0.0,0.08690890227642642,0.12596185161976484,0.06553107321035474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897155371001883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399359727001946,0.0,0.0657577417704652,0.0480087597236122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050790928117590325,0.1623873911749181,0.0,0.07993540432515132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891966674651406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403482881966646,0.0,0.0,0.07525447141217413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862208740032489,0.4380338767755996,0.05626310655253787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698958049610347,0.0,0.0,0.12169295744154315,0.0,0.08229323286151227,0.0,0.1342760824232781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383693502516809,0.14109932299611658,0.0,0.08082609613622564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052788303190339315,0.0,0.07899841475485977,0.07822220630101279,0.1551170524008013,0.0,0.2529289013712694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053306593056755,0.0,0.03847606972900648,0.07893392755086319,0.06954274913002348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391060421314532,0.0,0.0,0.15771017641380314,0.15969189038784154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572413860149315,0.0,0.0,0.11679274617392288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390691400461027,0.07716389027826086,0.07556824336826162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533669183054697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877703864476304,0.0,0.2522646743824452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345139197673571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169625529862854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514755057399753,0.0,0.07881260267037135,0.0,0.2001884137798352,0.12126001141204312,0.0,0.08816058768458752,0.055743708376801364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021441830493393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921450485146484,0.0,0.0,0.07250769154408461,0.0,0.0,0.10464361006380356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04592309729959913,0.0,0.07465121979761129,0.0,0.0,0.05346996844632981,0.0,0.15386580173790296,0.08198748847192157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498172210396462,0.04645216781905152,0.0,0.06317309310693482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792795580305426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467021333851204,0.0,0.0,0.2237832331972752,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,motivat747,2019/02/01,"Is there such thing as success depression? Every time I’m successful at something I feel like someone has died. I was promoted 3 times in the last year and each time I hung up the phone I locked myself in a room and threw up. Today I got some dental work that I had been waiting for years to do done and when I left the office I saw a homeless man and I wanted to step into traffic. 

Wtf is up with this? I’m otherwise a happy person. I work really hard. I don’t understand this ",1.1854000000000011,3.231110740000002,3.2960000000000003,89.24300000000002,81.6,6.4,21.0,7.554174236665415,0.8014000000000006,374,11,79,6,10,127,71,100,0.125,0.711,0.16399999999999998,0.6208,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,5,3,5,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,12,18,6,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,7,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,7,3,12,4,12,11,2,19,0,1,1,0,3,9,0,1,9,52,16,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752773847047866,0.0,0.22596600119811586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22281006755164368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834441849179328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100891912969172,0.1555440401184703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413597887347193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23177418354579146,0.1950404101513924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747636817131107,0.0,0.0,0.2365607606905964,0.0,0.0,0.10637029663374838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901106078278855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948133701424978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844791763328792,0.16761669622906933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464798408088994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808746722186313,0.0,0.20637950939039693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266612346437162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842088355163087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170153472998111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804177886605755
mentalhealth,gvillepunk,2019/02/02,"Dissasosiation? I think I'm dissasosiating. I have this feeling sometimes like I'm piloting my body. Sometimes it's really helpful and makes my boring job as a bar back easier. But sometimes, like today, I mostly feel numb and the piloting feeling is there but I also feel as if nothing is real. I want to see someone about it but ever since I got off of my moms insurance my new insurance doesn't cover mental health. There is a therapy practice in my hometown that has a sliding scale but it has really poor reviews. Am I dissasosiating and what can I do to get help?",3.5094545454545454,5.777191945454548,5.6490909090909085,74.15363636363638,75.0,8.4,29.181818181818183,9.120678840339163,2.9089272727272726,454,20,79,11,10,158,72,110,0.086,0.7829999999999999,0.13,0.4037,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,10,4,1,1,1,18,22,11,0,2,5,1,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,5,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,1,5,13,2,8,21,1,7,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,2,6,55,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598953621402846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307585425249894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888806593812446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382065352924654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439311071797538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884450670169493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13600513208479836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18075601243398612,0.0,0.0,0.22796288800357234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687491460924613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615642944280748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135102068388481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137117586366274,0.0,0.0,0.19916140201817406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16423608955459576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16316829636928315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935550006745075,0.21787775032718698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550844403629647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066775097560966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408346228253407,0.0,0.5045536675847858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944678711087248,0.0,0.0,0.1089616645690992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611882427504063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030034771031936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GHDRAKE,2019/02/02,"Realising I might be dealing with some emotional baggage. Sup guys! Played a poker tournament this afternoon and received a comment that got me thinking. 

A guy at the table said to me “I’m worried about you, you don’t say much.. serial killers don’t say much”. I just laughed, he realised I was nervous and was just trying to make me laugh. 

I looked around online for feeling nervous at poker tables and someone said “I found out it was my life stresses and not the poker table”. Definitely resonated with me because I do feel like I am dealing with some emotional baggage right now. 

It was interesting to hear how playing poker can reveal this to you. So what I’m dealing with atm that I can think of is: 
a) not being comfortable with my sexuality and worrying about what people will say/do if they find out 
b) I have a tattoo on my arm that I’m not entirely confident about as it’s not finished, and I worry about what people think as I have had a lot of comments about it’s (getting it finished 7th Feb)

Those are the two main things that I think about far too much, every single day for too long now. There are other small stresses like working, paying rent etc. How can I manage these things? I need to learn to not worry over small things because obviously some people can sense it and notice it. 

Thanks in advance.

",4.177968749999998,5.866457109375002,5.073875000000001,81.48362500000003,71.65625,7.463750000000001,28.815625,8.07648339933343,2.0109021875,1044,41,193,15,20,340,138,256,0.093,0.779,0.128,0.7397,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,1,2,17,13,0,4,9,0,22,2,1,3,1,43,41,13,0,2,8,0,2,2,0,2,1,5,1,2,22,15,0,0,10,6,3,2,7,4,0,1,9,8,25,9,31,28,10,21,0,0,1,0,18,12,0,6,9,143,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328663729363572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775983125921775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067581837597555,0.3241062539613209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23575262851089065,0.0,0.0,0.11687020434732567,0.0,0.0,0.08829134436802083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597144525831034,0.07486305666563871,0.0,0.0,0.09577751735234637,0.0,0.0,0.1148984526840056,0.0,0.0,0.05474922495754105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381132214388955,0.0,0.0,0.20752008768126431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810761778329737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401732376426698,0.1023916511152458,0.0,0.0,0.09273716519641817,0.08799845363045472,0.0,0.0,0.08908997179152756,0.0,0.0,0.06994912887595052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116720380632653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23110139324271245,0.07770155711886792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930579838242253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21794766029414486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949135423634548,0.1993613954069274,0.25000318081995404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878948380741412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400765803186977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647791871731637,0.0,0.0,0.2088564155959362,0.26858460502332593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114653852199958,0.0,0.10236605246505873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762894479618339,0.4256833522917976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HD9999,2019/02/02,"How can I stop worrying that I'm becoming schizophrenic? I have generalised anxiety and especially bad social anxiety, along with chronic depression and possibly (though not diagnosed) some symptoms of OCD. The anxiety and depression began roughly 6 years ago, and I was on paroxetine for a good portion of that time, but I came off it about six months ago. Since then my full-blown panic attacks from pre-medication days have thankfully not returned, but my anxiety levels have increased somewhat. In fact, I think they're getting worse the more time passes. I'm not in therapy or anything at the moment.

​

For the past month or two, the thought has occurred to me on many nights (it's pretty much always at night when I'm alone) that I am in the early stages of schizophrenia and that any minute, I might start hallucinating, believing that people are out to get me, and hurting myself or other people.

​

Let me give some background info. I'm a 21-year-old male, so in the usual bracket for schizophrenia to develop. (I'm also a smoker which I hear is very common among schizophrenics.) I have had derealisation and some amount of brain fog ever since my anxiety disorder began. I have all of the ""negative"" traits of schizophrenia: outwardly emotionless, socially withdrawn, anhedonic, etc. (I have also been considering the possibility that I have schizoid personality disorder, which seems to match some of my experience. But of course I'm aware that these things can be explained by anxiety/depression. I just can't really remember whether I had them before I got ill. They might have been there to a much lesser degree; I wasn't a very happy kid but I wasn't totally miserable either.)

​

As of yet, I have had no delusions, hallucinations, or strange body movements, with the exception of the fact that I have been having what I can only describe as ''tics"" for the last few months: I'll get the urge to pull the corner of my mouth back once or twice, and then the other side. Or something I've been doing a lot lately, which I never did before, is blinking with a single eye and then blinking with the other one, back and forth. This shit is making me nervous that I look like a weirdo to everyone else. I have read that facial tics are an early sign of schizophrenia.

​

Other than that, I just feel like my experience of the world is ""weird"", and I constantly question whether my grip on reality is falling away. I have a lot of trouble making eye contact and thinking of things to say in conversations, even with friends (not that I have many) and family. I often feel like I'm not fully conscious or something, like I could really be dreaming; there's some kind of distance between my inner world and the world and people around me. Also, sometimes I think I see something in the corner of my eye and realise it was nothing; however, this seems to happen only when I'm already worrying about schizophrenia, not when I'm actively doing stuff in the daytime, so it's probably just an aspect of my anxiety. I also tend to daydream and zone out a lot - but again, probably just part of anxiety/depression, right?  


So what's going on? Is it just hypochondria? I've heard some people say that, if you believe you might have schizophrenia, then you don't have it, because it's in the nature of the condition that you don't realise it's happening when it comes on. Maybe that's true for the sudden-onset version, but what about the slow-burning sort? Couldn't I be correct about having schizophrenia if the symptoms gradually accumulate, and the delusional part only comes later on? How can I be sure it's not going to happen?

​

One final thing I'll mention is that my mother's cousin has schizophrenia, so there's likely a genetic predisposition in me. I think there might also be a more distant relative on that side of the family with schizophrenia too.

​

Thanks for reading this long rambling mess and thank you for any advice or support you can provide.",8.084969057153259,8.178847196743554,7.863635701757289,70.70074659959626,62.10719131614653,10.718059370553,36.700168779164045,10.322093796472897,3.891933077406757,3212,138,535,65,41,1027,325,737,0.112,0.82,0.068,-0.9785,1,1,4,0,0,1,125.0,0,6,2,0,38,27,2,3,41,0,63,15,8,4,9,111,109,59,0,4,32,2,4,5,1,4,7,4,0,3,45,32,0,1,14,3,0,10,16,12,0,5,18,13,61,15,81,79,26,88,0,4,5,0,26,35,1,29,47,402,106,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467827540038025,0.08487634030994888,0.0,0.0,0.04958391124658512,0.05283109272836545,0.191427520336011,0.039835714347811135,0.3112343108836477,0.3490391322967911,0.06511308589202995,0.0,0.2197447971837808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03939692627818575,0.042618770808766485,0.0,0.05446455874548957,0.044980002005364936,0.0736256163677612,0.039973504003463584,0.0291840671127651,0.052874015763149707,0.0814759505284418,0.10787713403512836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053178171042060025,0.0,0.05344417109446683,0.0,0.054756079856254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824798965193708,0.0,0.0517357101584897,0.0,0.038224175925792116,0.0,0.0,0.03087532074223425,0.0,0.1649381690654615,0.048591969839284696,0.0,0.0,0.10973746251109144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039993297997683384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053393118220932866,0.03162089006066217,0.04330554703153815,0.0,0.04574647536975169,0.0,0.09366158886951176,0.09026430465862474,0.0,0.04841393010578367,0.06840361163483001,0.0,0.05244456330206882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036987994040784684,0.0,0.07503790697520063,0.04592592310462697,0.05441676649067547,0.040155156778530064,0.03828989481512601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270067279063287,0.050963673137751735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539584407703712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051251022208395176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04985429406746842,0.0,0.0390243964137231,0.05400492146857925,0.0,0.0,0.04895528262852577,0.0,0.11694617895476304,0.0,0.0,0.04236773994243335,0.04020282042107736,0.0,0.0,0.12210446852718593,0.0,0.0,0.06391367463387786,0.09707517697340004,0.04809672643976008,0.0,0.053178171042060025,0.0,0.0,0.2031506212646595,0.0,0.0,0.11463975698697212,0.0,0.07038705362266443,0.0,0.03692403939398943,0.0,0.0,0.08985461615027195,0.0,0.04593721434899795,0.0,0.05023660666940704,0.050985157869599264,0.06488248121362197,0.10923295314087968,0.0,0.05617082686525976,0.0,0.10368760470249966,0.04570196603588037,0.1327615851795993,0.04180247657067236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794341086036947,0.0,0.04870593862758527,0.10323438146323577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363079402371105,0.0,0.09577562078209312,0.0,0.061339715749717236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05423287781538143,0.04088486439445431,0.0,0.07614401214677956,0.0,0.0,0.03815006087767423,0.08716693946750781,0.0,0.0,0.049142850446828805,0.07920514919066733,0.0,0.0,0.097604770841848,0.0,0.1105692064797252,0.04734945552976644,0.0,0.033886068620574104,0.0,0.0,0.0400255222863504,0.0,0.0,0.054805254759214224,0.0,0.0543278178564604,0.04512148405020855,0.09952061013233812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223020226286875,0.05474906877066908,0.0,0.09541777864932163,0.12270509535274167,0.04703680174294492,0.03800728701851905,0.0558324256378729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467667766271187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05272738882659871,0.07900353810025347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723847785040284,0.04878856707943091,0.0,0.0,0.3490391322967911,0.06165967367321231
mentalhealth,goshortee,2019/02/02,"post-therapy depression/anxiety, is this a thing? I finally decided to go back to therapy after several years of having not having had a professional assess my mental health. The last time I sought help from a counsellor was about 9 years ago (when I was in my mid-20s) after I had lost my father and did not receive proper counselling, and my mother adamantly denied and overtly mocked family counselling.

When I went into this session yesterday, I went in without a “reason” (for lack of a better term, as previously my intention was to help understand the stages of grieving), but more just to figure out why my mood shifts in waves. After about a half hour of just talking about my life, my therapist made me realize that I exude symptoms of depressive behaviour and high-functioning anxiety.

I had a good cry (of course) but when I left I felt more upset and uncomfortable than I was when I walked in, and now my anxiety is through the roof.

I have no desire to talk to anyone or be around humans. I feel like my stomach is in knots and my head won’t stop pounding, even if I go for a walk and slam a shitload of water and ibuprofen. I can’t stop thinking about how much I have failed at life. Even small things like committing to going to dinner or deciding what to drink is so difficult.

The overwhelming sense of not wanting to be alive and feeling useless is incredible right now.

Is it normal to feel this way after seeking help? Is this due to all the re-hashing of suppressed emotions?

I just want someone to tell me that things are gonna be ok.",8.039494949494951,7.134976922558928,8.14344781144781,71.94406060606063,62.602693602693606,11.556363636363635,36.971717171717174,10.793553405168565,3.9775802020202016,1234,51,222,27,15,403,171,297,0.156,0.732,0.112,-0.9513,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,3,19,15,1,2,14,1,25,10,2,4,2,49,41,22,1,6,12,2,4,2,0,2,5,0,0,1,11,13,3,3,11,1,0,8,7,9,0,1,13,4,31,5,46,23,6,45,0,6,0,0,10,12,0,3,25,166,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023991534315854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651113504710927,0.0,0.0,0.08077241117505478,0.0,0.0,0.1028349251434656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882570524843551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216570124870067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689037549682455,0.0,0.0,0.09949491707101348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316301687966512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994146111721114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525962293445161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088994689024128,0.0,0.175227116497638,0.08252561193721146,0.11091476349671284,0.1265436013053818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19695350202827766,0.0968904654705545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185541192594711,0.12278953231124735,0.0,0.0,0.2322865172673246,0.12205041376727613,0.0,0.0,0.11376131230257495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416205131727244,0.0,0.0,0.12550992967300134,0.0,0.163186629284521,0.11287187622176725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610082427206915,0.0,0.0,0.1093053017365294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164143103876704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491853768887818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318246813696566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063368133265236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877106657493168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986511785703502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050171533040925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787746868956228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19315534024262895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200667487468443,0.0,0.1856969269555142,0.10096724821178532,0.0,0.2642082951650082,0.13412453712309236,0.2302337664496983,0.07401884812645429,0.0,0.0,0.06735909086645649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025762656781705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627024208119734,0.09169228889099047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141714660072233,0.10423643324201433,0.0,0.0,0.11135459507900634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877876124130351
mentalhealth,R3dd1tUsername,2019/02/02,"My parents keep bringing up the fact that I was in a psych ward once for suicidal thoughts. It's been 3 years... So essentially, 3 years ago I was in a psych ward for being suicidal. When I was there, my parents ""discovered"" that I'm trans because a nurse that told me that everything I told her was confidential went behind my back and told them anyways (I've been telling them for God knows how many years, they just chose to ignore it until then). So, as of now, I'm barely 18 and am still financially dependent. 

During the 3 years since then, my parents have refused to get me any help for my suicidal ideation.

The psych ward didn't help either - I just got locked up for a while and completely ignored until they let me go. At the psych ward, I only had one conversation during my entire stay (with that nurse who betrayed me). I was in a room all alone. Around me were a bunch of schizophrenic people and other hallucinating people screaming about a bunch of delusions they had. It was terrifying. I can still remember this one old woman moaning ""we're all locked up here forever"" and ""let me go"" over and over again. It haunts me. Sometimes, I hear it in my dreams and just wake up from it, terrified. I don't know why I got put in the area for psychotic people instead of depressed people. I have zero history of any psychotic issues.

Since I got out of the psych ward, my parents have been rejected the idea that I'm trans, claiming that it's ""just a phase"" and that I don't need help (even though this has been an issue that schools I've been going to have been concerned about since I was about 4).

They constantly bring up the psych ward and how I ended up there (and how it costed them $10k) every time something in my life goes wrong. If I get a B in math, it's because I'm psychotic (even though it's the most advanced math class offered at my school). If I get an A+ in my CS courses, I'm not even noted (even though it's two years about my level). If I forget to do something menial, like doing the dishes, it's because I belong in a psych ward. There are so many issues they've tried to label onto me because I've gone to the psych ward for suicidal ideation. There's:
- Sleep apnea
- Gluten sensitivity
- Sleep deprivation
- Malnutrition (I'm 30 pounds overweight)
- Still struggling from one of my family members being kidnapped right before my eyes (this one might be true)

I just don't know what to do. They constantly imply that I'm mentally unsound and constantly belittle me because of that accusation. Even with their friends, they talk about me like this. I've actually been introduced to one of my parents' friends as ""this one is the crazy one.""

I just want to forget I've ever been in the psych ward, but my parents keep bringing it up.",5.661595959595964,5.997597348148153,6.044410774410776,80.8725757575758,67.18518518518519,9.138047138047137,30.437710437710447,9.0124134603493,2.336685185185185,2168,76,430,35,33,698,227,540,0.094,0.8690000000000001,0.038,-0.9696,6,2,2,0,0,0,81.0,0,0,10,1,41,13,0,1,26,0,40,8,4,4,5,53,73,32,4,5,12,6,0,2,2,1,3,2,1,1,32,15,2,5,6,1,1,10,5,8,0,9,28,3,59,5,63,39,6,64,0,3,1,0,33,28,0,6,27,289,91,15,0.0,0.0,0.061600021658531186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595571124595185,0.0,0.0,0.06537753654379948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585311334589242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056193837395065116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048538541067336384,0.0,0.19239934549262694,0.0,0.05371396486477107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618442411626077,0.20464419989088836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054368699969625914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590922165629222,0.0,0.0,0.20846438325604885,0.057099367767172636,0.05318478179453835,0.0,0.05673187617406315,0.0,0.0595077892007391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753905536242984,0.0,0.09893922004346256,0.0,0.10762465234379492,0.0,0.1514583421072824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114545514104306,0.0,0.1269322728846801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712594321401036,0.0,0.19765549940459756,0.0,0.11221521151550023,0.0,0.0,0.10407407339850493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129097350273226,0.04458642284355197,0.06167849930393941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279958714533911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361425186294377,0.06696470100742882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04680572472922564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662381305910359,0.06722511270307817,0.2994216950585625,0.048008727066327916,0.0,0.0,0.4205510966284403,0.0,0.0,0.17504922803542994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345716148828318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150730674750269,0.05390764158849632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776993054029734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566507382783333,0.0,0.12633938687561666,0.0,0.0,0.09719204147084426,0.0624313548770219,0.0,0.0,0.06728189802744372,0.15123297768933153,0.0,0.0,0.0659910212657553,0.0,0.2761901058679592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050736765274752176,0.05517325091961492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18605734083137415,0.05011348910388822,0.03680817381787719,0.0,0.0,0.18095336511650886,0.0,0.042857124374015086,0.0,0.061663079234914764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03723223318640955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05851667864143607,0.056959687305373714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901630048282119,0.0,0.20324927317663027
mentalhealth,neintysix,2019/02/02,I think I should cut myself off for the past few weeks I've been having thoughts of just cutting off all of my friends. just don't speak or hang out with them,1.6913725490196114,3.378589705882355,1.671176470588236,103.26696078431374,78.41176470588233,4.533333333333334,20.15686274509804,3.1291,-0.8171254901960783,126,3,31,0,3,37,29,34,0.107,0.8009999999999999,0.092,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,1,1.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,9,6,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,1,5,1,7,3,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4324053589023521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5342753922934481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35861866918658125,0.0,0.44432132669930496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44893943860305374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tanishaevonne,2019/02/02,"I'm terrified that I'm losing my ability to be human and feel I'm genuinely concerned that I'm unable to feel things. I don't cry unless it's an extreme situation. I don't like being touched. I distance myself from people, even the ones I love. I feel as though it's not a defense mechanism anymore and that I'm losing moments of my life because I don't participate in them mentally. ",4.892658227848102,5.324987886075952,7.002379746835443,73.00053164556962,68.87341772151899,9.864303797468356,34.787341772151905,9.888512548439397,3.584608101265822,309,15,57,7,5,110,51,79,0.16699999999999998,0.713,0.12,-0.3871,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,2,2,5,1,0,3,0,5,2,0,0,0,8,14,5,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,4,10,2,7,12,0,2,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,37,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24427339949830795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501483297683534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705600411345848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268547526470206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3736253097358203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397608352470806,0.12033465640687355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5511159192649879,0.0,0.0,0.22230445071101626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482226132897734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669060749450984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076038609605515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768628336219674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363746285538053,0.0,0.24199838878040475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alt-account-27,2019/02/02,"I need advice So a while ago I talked to my parents and therapist about my childhood sexual assault. I didn’t give many details because I didn’t feel ready. They wanted to know who did it but I refused to tell them. My parents then said that if I don’t tell them they will tell my whole family about the assault until they get answers, and After a long argument I finally told them. The therapist encouraged them to do this by the way. Now I feel like  can’t talk to my parent or therapist about what’s troubling me.  I can’t tell my parents that I don’t trust them because they will then pry and the whole thing will repeat. So I can’t talk to my parents or therapist, I can’t get a new therapist, and i don’t want to burden my friends. What should I do?",3.5563636363636357,4.409713611464973,4.782733063115232,86.1940416907933,72.12101910828025,8.256861609727853,28.28546612623046,8.575989854853784,1.9161770700636944,595,22,127,10,11,197,74,157,0.14,0.7440000000000001,0.115,-0.7140000000000001,5,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,9,0,6,8,2,0,7,0,16,0,0,0,0,17,27,14,0,5,4,5,2,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,5,3,32,4,13,18,2,13,0,0,0,0,28,0,0,3,13,92,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953081336612608,0.08645713318076316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891044161002336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194544652657397,0.0,0.09863124606161328,0.06967760555605018,0.0,0.10684265078951444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535376561231286,0.0,0.1019139498438874,0.09356255549677134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360159445225544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04764970465008685,0.0,0.0,0.0863136492783381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888316901372836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231949494395107,0.0,0.0941979938592194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5414943556983131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277623230313184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23518002942931315,0.34099261695063576,0.0,0.0,0.5662167400928224,0.06479660147434514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319697572138418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150549987316092,0.0774171676877567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21778425676065602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DongleLeaf,2019/02/02,"I'm very scared because of dissociation, anxiety and feeling like a broken human I'm 19 and I feel like there's something really wrong with me. If you've seen spirited away, the perfect visualisation is the scene where Chihiro is desperately trying to wake herself up from her dreamy reality, fading away and becoming transparent. I've felt moderate to severe depersonalisation+derealization (I think) since I was about 13 or 14. 

Recently I had an hour-long period with no discernable trigger where I felt the fog lift. My thoughts were crystal clear, my emotions ran as a strong, tangible stream instead of being muted and distant. I wasn't so clumsy and didn't have tunnel vision. I became acutely aware of the absence of that sludge of anxious unsymbolised thoughts that cakes everything in my reality and takes up huge chunks of my mental capacity. It was like being a completely different person, like discovering somebody I never knew existed within me. I was with my girlfriend at the time and articulated this and more. That hour was easily one of the best experiences of my adolescent life and simultaneously terrifying.


Since that I just feel crushed, because I've tasted what it's like to feel normal and it feels so far away from the dissociated anxious hell that's been my experience for as long as I can vividly remember. I'm so frustrated at myself, knowing that it's literally just a switch somewhere in my brain that if switched would drastically improve everything about my life.

It's hopeful of course that this healthier version of me exists, but at this stage in my life I have to make a lot of important make-or-break decisions; I know that I probably can't work myself out of this in time. I've been overthinking this to a ridiculous degree, becoming acutely aware that I'm on the path to a stagnant, numbed life as a coping mechanism. Its that episode of black mirror where somebody's consciousness is trapped in the body of a teddy bear and they watch their life escaping them. 

I had a dream where I was in the backseat of a car I bought, letting a friend drive. They wrecked the car and wouldn't listen when I was shouting to slow down or speed up. That's pretty much the perfect description, it's like I'm in the backseat of myself and there's a massive disconnection to my body and mind.

I've been thinking about this for a good few years and have been debating with myself the root cause of all of this. Depersonalisation, ASD or just being plain dumb have been some things I've been torturing myself over as possibilities, but this hour long spell and a couple of shorter ones a while ago seem to make depersonalisation the most likely. It's just so painful, I do 'mental gymnastics' trying to constantly psychoanalyse myself. I feel so distant from any idea of my identity and it's not helpful that I understand the innate limitations in self-analysis. Ironically understanding that just makes me second, third and fourth guess my thoughts every waking second. The only escape within my reach at the moment seems to be numbing myself with entertainment which only serves to make me more disconnected. 

I'm paralyzed and confused, I have existential horror whenever I think about myself. I feel inhuman. I'm working myself up to seeing a therapist but I'm afraid because I don't know if I can give a reliable picture to them, since I basically have some from of amnesia from being continuously dissociated from age 13 ish. I also don't trust myself to articulate sufficiently to make progress in therapy. Sorry about the long ranty post, I just need somewhere to write this down and for someone to see it. ",8.966979345955252,8.744747126506027,9.10012220309811,63.609421686747005,60.41566265060241,12.227125645438898,38.248537005163506,11.602472056035307,4.637911411359724,2948,128,488,77,35,973,311,664,0.106,0.795,0.098,-0.8611,2,1,1,0,0,0,57.0,0,0,5,8,25,28,5,3,38,0,40,14,5,8,5,97,87,42,0,8,16,0,9,7,2,2,8,2,0,2,36,26,1,1,28,2,1,4,9,12,0,5,26,18,65,16,90,53,11,60,2,0,6,0,15,33,2,15,28,337,101,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263218650366069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05650349254850224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048048430511093435,0.0,0.05405156517573679,0.15964209663281545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19915061353356875,0.0,0.0,0.1292135307201363,0.15606776655929466,0.0,0.0,0.07414900116354198,0.0,0.0,0.1569655390167412,0.0,0.07887534451411396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258306574240968,0.0,0.0,0.07408136010757821,0.07635391996669398,0.0,0.0,0.07817940232181242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382037042440671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947837022587129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953063768362005,0.0,0.1270019224174751,0.1382300433991929,0.0,0.0,0.2500801992735828,0.10095316894652824,0.13568147627268876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458856809091634,0.0,0.0,0.06777957133254507,0.0,0.05926281126760199,0.0,0.0,0.07783543256648635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04735915608746722,0.0,0.0,0.07017724484074128,0.20874546781667905,0.0,0.0,0.07976190355844702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649189385940308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225043824303158,0.2495317358038633,0.2416323043668577,0.0,0.0,0.2501129695387714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006911402162679,0.0,0.0,0.28298014559900403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240904451943626,0.0,0.07134231075921196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05194021153408681,0.052390449793307696,0.054494180907132775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922777401705038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575652412326023,0.10747398184985553,0.07518285235320249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061694000927190414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965390373995034,0.06766881493256466,0.07188244499748292,0.07617900359256581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526397465876008,0.0,0.06976417089485379,0.0,0.08003935385430516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073887546864416,0.0,0.11260719862759787,0.1286449436850263,0.07370950645546147,0.07982104831640773,0.0,0.17534185585916434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059866509321940986,0.054394358793123515,0.0,0.07909348815139255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312443871876197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080117200209562,0.08203693821964265,0.04694063611685368,0.1358203308899302,0.0,0.16827866142784312,0.08240003946289677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594142749809433,0.0,0.0,0.14711055400893233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058298511866494006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287666403105028,0.0,0.0,0.050191919564708525,0.07725112785418249,0.0,0.045500078904825436
mentalhealth,WrecklessKitten,2019/02/02,Does anyone know of these symptoms? I'm 27/F I've been diagnosed with Bpd a few anxiety disprders and depression. I'm wondering if I have been misdiagnosed or I have another illness that I am unaware of. I am terrified that someone will put poison or drugs in my food or water. So I dont let people cook for me. I also will throw out food I have made if I have a bad thought about it. Some times I feel like there is poison in my mail or on things I touch in stores. I know its irrational thinking but it's been the hardest thing to over come. Thank you for any advice. Also if you have similar problems I would like to also talk with you. Thanks!,1.579667049368542,3.619566656716419,3.400149253731346,89.04433409873711,80.19402985074628,6.809644087256029,23.74052812858784,7.882392219407189,1.2547894374282442,508,18,108,9,13,170,88,134,0.162,0.747,0.09,-0.685,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,0,6,9,2,0,3,0,16,10,0,1,0,23,28,13,0,5,8,0,2,2,0,3,6,0,0,0,8,5,4,0,6,1,1,3,1,5,0,0,5,2,18,4,15,19,2,10,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,9,3,76,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184372519488187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37279209073851904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566942595958033,0.16293826355067864,0.1188716843314633,0.0,0.0,0.10865116729439174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297428055750007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957062232501756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385332915813036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383578281692898,0.1577159334047461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359814172785812,0.0,0.18211402247629505,0.0,0.18020118665986232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856903313119741,0.11100948873779776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3757924884606091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079477827030426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588951450288592,0.0,0.1518298256520357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470322409888313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772673651710124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148685692685246,0.0,0.1562082390763314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166006895465204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150802253896232,0.0,0.12489529273164185,0.0,0.28612148390173475,0.0,0.0,0.2064662682998672,0.09956659871519682,0.0,0.1233610155779612,0.09060821317650276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851206819440984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038344586484768,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,turdferguson218,2019/02/02,"Great MentalHealth podcast! Check out Destigmatized! Listen to Destigmatized, Season 1 Episode 4 by Destigmatized Podcast on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/destigmatized-podcast/destigmatized-season-1-episode",28.836666666666666,38.326030210526326,16.069473684210525,-8.867017543859646,36.368421052631575,13.059649122807016,53.70175438596492,10.504223727775694,9.870775438596493,190,9,9,5,3,47,16,19,0.0,0.774,0.226,0.6892,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ForkMan_VS_Spoons,2019/02/02,"A half a year ago I discovered how much I want to be with a significant other. I feel like I need that in my life. I feel pathetic. I don't know what to do. I am a college student living far from home. I go to therapy regularly, and have lived with depression for a long long time. I have made major strides in my life. I have overcome many obstacles to get to where I am, but I feel so... bored. Not in the standard way of the term, but more like ""so lonely that I detach from my life"". I have trust issues, and I am scared to open up. I am working on that. Even though I am so grateful to my fate and how seemingly patient life has been with me so far, It feels like I am under a constant onslaught from work and school, and my personal issues mentioned above, that I feel like I wont ever find a relationship. But I want to feel the trust and safety felt when resting your head on the lap of a loved one. I want intimacy and a feeling of being on the same boat with somebody. I want to be a better person.  


It feels like everyone around me is younger in maturity and age. It is so isolating. I honestly don't know what to do. Even if I find a someone, a close friend or something more, people generally move back home after graduation. I want attention from the opposite sex so much that I feel pathetic sometimes. I have tried dating apps - at one point I had them all. I try talking to classmates, but I feel like such a weirdo. I feel like if I open up to someone they are going to run away when they see my baggage. I am afraid they will laugh at my ambitions. I just came to that realization now... I guess if I am alone I never have to tell anyone my dreams. I would never have to trust anyone with that open door to my heart. I barely talk about it to even the people closest to me. I guess I should be stronger in my convictions... I came so far for these dreams and yet I feel like they are so fragile and haven't gotten any stronger on the way here. I guess maybe thats why I want a partner: Someone to help fortify that glass castle. Or maybe to help me pick up the pieces when it breaks. Or maybe someone who will be compassionate in the face of it, because I don't think I am.   


I want to walk outside again, and I hate that I feel like I need someone to walk me out and help me cope with the cold. I know that I need to do it myself. I know that I am holding myself hostage waiting for someone - but god I would really love a hand, love, and some patience.",2.519764705882352,3.818539633333337,3.9589705882352932,89.38786764705885,75.21568627450979,7.139215686274508,24.90686274509804,7.7348632917899725,1.0950156862745093,1903,62,425,26,40,630,218,510,0.062,0.6940000000000001,0.244,0.9985,0,3,1,0,0,0,62.0,0,1,5,3,28,26,1,2,26,0,42,12,4,4,4,93,88,38,0,16,13,0,16,9,2,6,4,0,3,3,24,27,0,2,23,2,0,8,8,6,0,3,7,18,81,20,62,70,11,60,0,2,1,4,23,29,0,11,29,300,105,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053922039165415776,0.0,0.0,0.0630014346624572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136642031017885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506736575271193,0.0,0.0,0.054151510782394364,0.0,0.0,0.057151696713989224,0.04677444096744288,0.0,0.0370813445564213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379910633514416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914640861146907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657355154387985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052392706729234934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053273263690452,0.05502413027204097,0.0,0.058125579579880564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998465501124696,0.347655161583054,0.058406246740002776,0.0,0.1111948595014987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04699703253071511,0.0,0.031781113904705866,0.0,0.06914207194255156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010329901094152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005693602906397,0.0624290303942955,0.0,0.0,0.07208372850402067,0.12231900618255707,0.0,0.12203470590785866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269812302484206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13372209644473146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718638391172076,0.2674657638128521,0.0,0.1074278384501928,0.10766510074225027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470408853616056,0.05755872547484081,0.0,0.061671974494119174,0.1833354424101413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465256061333863,0.08943395646700962,0.13531380796437814,0.09383154321109076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243983377167796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434359174270277,0.1062286507935572,0.0,0.0,0.057503920747532536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038969193805638486,0.0,0.0,0.06530855137770994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090134524227026,0.061563109871602274,0.048473557396484915,0.055377259513455256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092458788899942,0.04682983157627835,0.06016232995469775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977855444369718,0.05316801682484234,0.0,0.0695642960038421,0.0,0.0,0.03897734594378507,0.05976507131520785,0.0,0.035470405898175315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259902296139336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251153371831566,0.09656789196113684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054889526401157095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856978842284849,0.0,0.0,0.08642363626878735,0.0,0.0,0.03917246345203208
mentalhealth,anonusuc,2019/02/02,"Is it normal to hate people? I’m writing this as I’m sitting alone in my college dorm on a Saturday night. I don’t have any friends and I don’t know who my acquaintances are. Few people wave to me and most people stop saying hi after a while and turn their heads away from me. This really fucking hurts me and my self-esteem. Why can’t people just consistently say hi? I depend on others for my cues and when someone just abruptly stop saying hi, I become confused and weirder in other social interactions. No one ever seems to understand me, or I just can’t understand people, but almost all my interactions with peers have been awful and have left me feeling like a massive dumbo. Other people just blatantly ignore me in their conversations and I just want to cry. I hate people and don’t wanna trust one ever again. I have been feeling spiteful towards everyone today and I don’t like being this way. I feel extra isolated because of this. I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, but I’m pretty sure my post will be ghosted even on Reddit. Have a better life than me y’all.",3.8868782489740106,5.5705776604651165,5.258632010943913,79.8866073871409,72.3953488372093,7.291381668946649,25.205198358413128,7.928766900206844,1.5757277701778385,867,27,156,12,17,290,122,215,0.184,0.6920000000000001,0.123,-0.9067,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,2,1,10,14,4,1,5,1,19,3,1,1,5,43,35,17,1,4,9,0,3,2,1,1,1,3,1,0,11,11,0,3,7,0,0,0,7,8,0,2,2,6,26,6,21,30,4,26,0,1,0,1,16,10,1,7,14,114,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105397558640096,0.11433086878560678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506906466419916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037151482801971,0.0,0.0,0.06729279041958766,0.1219172107727001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763108729413776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125835946409605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291163083990572,0.1997083606708295,0.0,0.10548248698842372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744967927578835,0.0788627212906885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528713017997351,0.10205388390950512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797477183154326,0.11329210708714478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817490286508613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066752108214037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993918458364933,0.0,0.07797180391357507,0.10786206981181576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359364631168867,0.10815887613737284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496063997297127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.535714251625738,0.0,0.11533417641280645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144643393709134,0.11230643445244104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071873533585282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633599541473041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049501610654928,0.11516096670824058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252882202528026,0.093533187488217,0.0,0.0,0.12357269765935665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18458216068669933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404137839593143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046369228725674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007274744135465,0.0,0.2298400088038877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511095082603302,0.08762253624750056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960991006470568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069426307127823,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SanHoloR2D2,2019/02/02,"Can someone still be a doctor despite past mental health issues in their youth? Let's say Person A had psychosis at age 15, but it's over and they have recovered, can they still go to med school and be a doctor?",7.61232558139535,5.658743837209308,7.339186046511633,80.73808139534887,64.11627906976744,9.530232558139538,30.80232558139535,7.1686216300943375,1.7907302325581391,167,4,34,1,2,53,34,43,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,0,0,3,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,4,4,0,9,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,23,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5020262260186568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937531107479606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26067821723959544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25596641768616346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507740972177945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27240590021628186,0.0,0.2471438266912848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341089389819613,0.0,0.21413375146914254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502436590492672,0.0,0.24819555873927626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077907095634594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916973082131127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Loves_U,2019/02/02,"i have problems with school. Need help with strategies/ways to fight them. So i do have depression and anxiety but im not sure if either of them are at all related to my problems. 

I dislike school and it makes me really uncomfortable but as school is unavoidable im trying to find out how i can stop the uncomfortable feeling.

Its hard to accurately explain the ""uncomfortable feeling"". The only way i can describe it is that its really uncomfortable and that it makes me really want to leave/not go to school.

For background, im 16 m and i live in australia.

I've been thinking a lot, and i think my problem is based around 3 periods. Having to go to school, being at school and being at home (after school).

So with the first one, often the night before i have to go to school i just get hit with a huge wave of that uncomfortable feeling and suddenly i just really really don't want to go to school. I can't really explain why, but often its not there when i wake up in the morning.

With the second one, i tend to get the uncomfortable feeling in class. Its important to note that i don't get the feeling when im doing work, so like i might feel uncomfortable while sitting in class listening to teacher or just waiting for the teacher but i won't feel it if i were doing a worksheet or something. Its also important to note that for whatever reason, i have never felt this feeling in my accelerated class (basically im doing a year 12 subject while being in year 11) and since i skipped a year of that class its actually my hardest class.

The third one is about my expectation that i should do work at school and get to relax at home. The problem is that im supposed to do homework at home. So basically when im at home i have the choice of either doing homework (which will trigger the uncomfortable feeling) or not doing homework (which will get me to become really stressed about the deadline).

Thanks for listening to my problems, i want to stress that im looking for specific advice about my situation and not general comments about education.",5.283866965201977,6.3580379949622206,6.402882731598097,75.34600522436796,68.29471032745592,9.508685511708183,31.83216717977423,9.725611199111238,3.088648176135834,1632,68,300,36,27,547,156,397,0.166,0.75,0.085,-0.99,0,1,1,0,1,0,39.0,0,0,2,3,20,13,1,2,20,0,35,1,1,5,3,76,71,31,0,13,18,0,11,1,0,5,0,2,7,0,22,17,0,2,16,1,0,4,9,9,0,6,3,14,34,4,57,59,4,38,0,1,1,0,9,17,0,9,16,219,56,20,0.0,0.0,0.05480673683357497,0.0,0.0,0.054881583696782144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044913326301116614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042964345641821534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04999674959292009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620273385627195,0.047790358791597785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048372889343070616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555781390378693,0.0,0.053925041992948584,0.0,0.051331730788236996,0.04777200158471327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671357924461148,0.0,0.12767432735676548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05031078737807982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037644703623870256,0.0,0.22534324692948396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4853232110891618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027438279960187984,0.0,0.04959273213896357,0.0,0.047162560237619264,0.0,0.0,0.04774755677901572,0.0,0.0,0.07497813582122516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957979634484265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04164396324013546,0.043316170703841035,0.0,0.0,0.05270493092809971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141719870603662,0.042714297806983936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687008066071342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25185504475718945,0.05774465500068706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.568396955863441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04645840242934831,0.0631292776854313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04323682440193382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046954569010349695,0.1286684676127497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052932721815036034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170710922050615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197363755109165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03813081673949599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937872508968047,0.08915874448080617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067814114698437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177429344620903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850089782457953
mentalhealth,brina96,2019/02/02,My 13yo niece is struggling. I have a niece who is 13 and has suffered with her mental health for a really long time. At the age of 5 she locked herself in the bathroom with a knife. I can’t blame her since she has a rough family life. My sister (her mom) divorced her husband when my niece was young and then got into drugs. My niece’s dad decided he was going to transition into a woman and has been focusing solely on himself and his transition as ignoring my niece’s cries for help. Now she just shuts down and cries and she won’t talk to anyone. I want to help but I really don’t know what to do...,3.2994044444444413,4.271229216000005,4.55306666666667,87.15697777777781,72.84,8.115555555555558,23.488888888888887,8.515128840125781,1.2624222222222223,472,12,102,8,9,156,80,125,0.096,0.863,0.041,-0.6597,0,0,1,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,7,0,13,3,0,0,0,16,17,10,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,10,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,1,20,0,16,12,0,15,0,1,0,0,22,7,0,0,7,69,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571937667872932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4892583963123724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582652093134901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994492019529448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656745921189816,0.0,0.17811623191803422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367232716718161,0.0,0.0,0.29854675339040065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239194973474694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730197863856976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197085477248381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22443261983060225,0.0,0.0,0.26082749913343123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853389670829519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422253169489375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328179197938159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790005355541411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298601278676435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313562195806841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ohsnapissame,2019/02/02,"Unhealthy coping mechanisms I don’t cope with feelings too well. I can’t face my feelings head in and deny myself the ability to feel. When I get overwhelmed with emotions I tend to use sex as an escape I guess. I suppress my feelings, and recently it’s getting worse. I’m afraid I’m spiraling and not caring about my mental health and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to healthy cope with feelings, I turn to sex as a temporary relieve from feeling and to make me feel validated and it’s bad. A recent rejection has me crying myself to sleep every other day and I just can’t stop. I hate the way I am, I feel alone, and turned me to looking for random hookups to not deal with these overwhelming feelings.

I just don’t know.",2.201942857142857,4.2515384133333365,3.6925714285714304,87.67200000000004,78.2,6.419047619047619,26.04761904761905,7.447530270364453,1.3865619047619042,582,23,117,8,14,192,84,150,0.195,0.7,0.105,-0.9488,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,7,9,1,3,5,0,9,6,3,3,0,35,34,12,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,12,0,2,12,0,0,0,8,6,1,0,0,10,22,3,19,34,0,7,0,3,1,2,1,1,0,2,5,76,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351250217530914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569675396768715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127718875044298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220815481598327,0.08936355410019063,0.14285537746870652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586800774530374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167477625570755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6305678260798809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478994654071767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264598118524345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680515703636026,0.1422086085541586,0.14728909163232973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22845661483420898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636047274368225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249382651875923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396418547025727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736342554202031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866598905624994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584731235947728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30143985804369394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967646373144628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998717631898726,0.0,0.0,0.12458740174583313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121050887447412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,its2am_bois,2019/02/02,"Why do we live !? I started my life in the south of Sweden. I was in my first years of life in the upper class with my Dad having a job as a boss for IT. And my mom was a dentist. At about, my age of one we moved to northern Sweden. Because my Grandma was diagnosed with cancer. She would live about 5-10 years but shortly died after 5 months. My family was finished with packing and jobs so we had no choice. We moved to northern Sweden. We lived there for 2 years until our house burned down (keep in mind before I was born we had no relatives except an aunt with a problem about money. She had no job and only lived because Anders her Husband was a farmer (with a house). at my age of four, our family was feeling like life was ending for our family my dad committed suicide. Now it was worse it was like pouring Whisky into a cm cut in your leg in a forest. What are you going to do? The main provider of the family is dead and you have no absolutely no money. And no way out except crawling for hours. Anyways after long years of my mom fighting for us to have money just to feed us a family with 4 kids including me. We had stable economics and were fine, not mentally tho. At about the age of eleven, I started being on the internet more and more to the point where I had more than the two friends in real life on the internet. I started hearing about news and heard about the emptiness of space. Even at the age of eleven, I looked at becoming religious or staying as an atheist. My decision was with a landslide of evidence being an atheist, (don't get offended please). And being an atheist I believed that space was infinite and I was just a speck of what? Nothing? Yep, nothing. I wanted to know why I was here why? Why do we live!? Keep in mind this was at the age of eleven and it scared me. (Trigger warning) I thought this was just the hole that religious people hopped into being too scared to face reality. And under all of this time, I was crying my self to sleep 3-2 times a week about not being able to feel what it's like to have a dad what does it feel like? Then my sisters moved out we weren't normal siblings we never had a fight except two times about my sister stealing my food. So I missed them because I didn't have friends and I was basically willing to hang out with them. So then I started thinking about the age gap. Weird a whole seven years apart. Then when I started seeing weird jokes about how ""you were a mistake"" jokes. I didn't get hurt by the jokes but my own mind hurt my self after I thought about it more times. So at this state, I was in a blend of thinking I was a mistake, What does it feel like to have a dad, missing my sisters, Not having friends and not being out in nature enough. I got severe Depression but I stayed good in school mainly because my trauma made me Mature Faster. And I was somehow getting worse by thinking about how I am just a speck of nothing really it hurt me. And also I had a lot of free time and wanted to spend it with friends..... But I didn't have any mainly because I was picky and when I found a good friend I took so long time not trying to disturb him he thought I just didn't care I saw my self as a social animal and I wanted friends You could say I was trans but instead of swapping genders I was an extrovert trapped in a introverts life because my friend issues, me living in the middle of nowhere and Depression was a big weight to carry.

 And I can tell more but to actually get a response I won't send an autobiography.

 So, in the end, I need help can someone tell me how I can get help?   


​",2.025386231415641,4.034207068681321,3.3839204912734324,89.86990303813835,78.58791208791209,5.985649644473174,23.617970265029093,6.986292612891036,0.8039795733678083,2798,94,581,31,68,913,285,728,0.152,0.725,0.124,-0.9815,3,1,1,0,3,1,79.0,15,5,2,1,39,41,4,3,49,1,67,14,3,6,3,107,107,48,3,10,20,11,5,5,7,3,8,3,0,4,21,46,3,2,13,3,5,7,19,21,0,10,48,11,93,21,105,49,13,97,0,7,3,0,60,41,0,3,50,428,114,6,0.05308482780411015,0.0,0.051803134358339976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04245191761592685,0.0,0.05751738874714656,0.06450387620594447,0.036099503263105695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941601098829656,0.058628021646535376,0.045171278578982836,0.059808422512382914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412351986460292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042383915449830015,0.0,0.058311190671336124,0.0,0.0,0.0914437688034398,0.053879982794325036,0.05509367024721836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290978108743717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403480204556074,0.05485081759058664,0.0,0.03506202810967997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502182561251363,0.0,0.10736513583346753,0.1516952463604257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04515392741177924,0.06419038449505476,0.05820477369825292,0.2870924439519262,0.0,0.13867315766089586,0.0,0.030169330981412612,0.08905006993898287,0.04245678618625589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983045902300066,0.0,0.07116328219389942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052277862262791325,0.1225055279610624,0.17048521827246954,0.0,0.0,0.05540676835624184,0.15803550141682532,0.094368468105594,0.0,0.0,0.029174033072956556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18747691891455703,0.12967282723431667,0.0,0.2812492530609565,0.09395680424905163,0.044577885599932164,0.0,0.0,0.045130822267647815,0.0,0.050230147605688176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349702074179324,0.0,0.16080162989642655,0.12434461747764725,0.04237180309444168,0.16926231266777453,0.0,0.03936172718133695,0.040942291778357266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052011860271878464,0.15280897195130047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03597165316620689,0.04037340363898111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03680233559620511,0.0,0.0,0.05827119985430799,0.05018232080758808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05079501094594085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042215578890421,0.03400750000601545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04221518573880224,0.1062943467099997,0.053724679801456864,0.04230173484405091,0.0,0.16613715831133116,0.05997074542314959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312316503188645,0.05411329681628958,0.044978602331645134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786857172929197,0.11316272655618755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058066185601497025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279695861858134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020438425564205,0.0,0.1264302709309711,0.1857251399367209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058979196934491086,0.03604111349937679,0.0,0.10371232647490014,0.0,0.12770902337178386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393242045798048,0.04213626541555615,0.04258144683700514,0.06464301912953135,0.0,0.0,0.1916032011057357,0.0592673144747963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819594939220957,0.0377099385939235,0.0,0.06450387620594447,0.17092444325700548
mentalhealth,thatrandomguy09,2019/02/02,"I’m permanently on edge, blew my relationship, angry at everything I’ve literally got nobody to talk to, throwaway account because I know someone who uses reddit that follows me

I wanted help or advice, I literally feel so angry at everything, any small thing will set me off and usually I can control it

If I feel concerned about something or someone I was just arguing with I get a kind of icy coolness over me and suddenly I’m okay, but I don’t know and just don’t understand myself anymore and on top of that, just feel like life isn’t for me

Haven’t got a thing to my name yet, I don’t know why but if someone messages me I don’t see any point in replying

I don’t go out or anything, just study and do basic things

I’m at the end of my rope, I’m not trying to act entitled but I’m not exactly in a bad position financially, so why do I feel this way

I studied basic psychology yet nothing makes sense

Please, any explanation or help would be appreciated, or just a “stop being a prick” too

I just don’t know anymore 

",2.570476190476189,4.342568714285719,4.9180952380952405,80.58190476190478,76.14285714285714,8.095238095238095,28.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.357761904761905,810,35,163,18,18,284,115,210,0.073,0.812,0.115,0.8602,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,12,7,2,0,6,2,16,2,1,3,1,42,39,17,0,4,18,0,4,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,9,0,1,3,10,3,0,0,3,6,23,4,20,32,0,24,0,0,1,0,8,13,1,7,7,101,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815182970702013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26754606283725096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601180615885058,0.0,0.0,0.10791985839422198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949927568241023,0.07994381003070776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708849398888565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615414240654573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23572649480342134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26524020906762674,0.09368888360932506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851702285757924,0.0,0.07453182632164951,0.0,0.2097747421816556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175805336625529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365656883512806,0.2882919700718992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263047409613774,0.06407004944206306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753924947390733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583564597306898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395609069923293,0.12397291876153255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407989512563737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450432448912224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333521760132596,0.10096060981844138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964176917754782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540811129871627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613775777179796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903777194891688,0.0,0.0,0.1365249225563827,0.0,0.11326580604401007,0.14443594648688052,0.0,0.07735178540374509,0.10409554052524476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366730723376505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316052104748312,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Unscathed-potato,2019/02/02,"How do you deal with people like this? [Facebook post](https://m.facebook.com/groups/173094513065175?view=permalink&id=760008394373781&refid=18&_ft_=qid.6653558857707873260%3Amf_story_key.760008394373781%3Atop_level_post_id.760008394373781%3Atl_objid.760008394373781%3Acontent_owner_id_new.100023184090547%3Aoriginal_content_id.10161279338545175%3Aoriginal_content_owner_id.826505174%3Asrc.22%3Aphoto_id.10161279335550175%3Astory_location.6%3Aattached_story_attachment_style.video_inline&__tn__=%2AW-R)

I don’t know if that link works but I need advice on how to deal with people like this. ",62.058823529411754,79.63818576470591,16.53088235294118,-8.316029411764674,-43.941176470588225,5.752941176470588,20.264705882352946,7.1686216300943375,0.6135529411764713,572,4,27,2,4,83,26,34,0.0,0.823,0.177,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,9,4,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,16,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18094149335985102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8025065674348578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38179480946219896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176206556652344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092493025171874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729780357148574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567407583707582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733727611006844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348026220995449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,afrizzy,2019/02/02,"Lost I am a 23 year old dude and I’m struggling to find friends and people to date that are sober.  After abusing alcohol and Xanax heavily I’m happy to say I’m 4 months sober and have made a lot of improvements in my life. I got a good job, I’m attending therapy, and I’m not hanging out with my old “friends” that only care about getting fucked up.. 

Now the last 4 months have been incredibly tough and lonely. I don’t do anything on the weekends cuz I don’t want to be tempted to do anything I would regret so I just stay home. I wish I had real friends and could find fun things to do sober. I just wish I didn’t rely on alcohol and Xanax to be social. 

Now I’m left to make the most out this thing we call life and try to deal with the shame of my past. I know my brain is going to be wacky for awhile still. Just gotta clean my karma and hope the universe will through me something worth while one day.",3.2206106264869163,3.67496851546392,4.219690721649485,91.38910785091196,72.60824742268042,7.4125297383029345,25.747819191118158,7.321109707123232,0.9242621728786689,708,21,166,7,13,230,114,194,0.11,0.7020000000000001,0.187,0.9318,1,2,3,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,1,8,15,1,2,8,0,19,8,1,3,0,35,39,13,0,7,4,0,0,0,3,3,6,1,2,0,5,15,2,0,3,1,1,3,4,7,0,1,6,1,18,8,24,26,2,26,1,3,0,1,8,7,1,3,15,97,23,1,0.0,0.14922635935985878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691976460494496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20728696498057708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059827845261125,0.128605761336143,0.0,0.12841115335870756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055826894455333,0.0,0.0,0.08122526468522155,0.129845617303824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23022618130523234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919185485929361,0.11643578425908133,0.06580200312055283,0.0,0.07157846712621975,0.10563819773865936,0.10073115894383562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407270727660944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633490636990596,0.1250935875074378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498276201870034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921706578572899,0.10266344937268153,0.0,0.0,0.1368415633527028,0.0,0.1779198946866704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374858067278985,0.10707546282860393,0.0,0.11917390449771817,0.084070464927034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105906337417506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643199536404022,0.0,0.08534480911159269,0.09578821442632796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023046882300226,0.0873156507933187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433550281408628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015794803317953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838689859057642,0.0,0.09695999746128947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342425277462384,0.10058127470049157,0.0,0.0,0.13166693810655186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440311386331267,0.0,0.1673469109556569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550960773365829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428668398359241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896652015537167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946899093121799,0.0,0.0,0.08110560787891974
mentalhealth,PestoPastaPenne18,2019/02/02,"Healthy anxiety and heart palps Can you get heart palps from carrying heavy items?

I was carrying two moderately heavy bags while walking at an average-ish speed and felt that “ba-dump” feeling 

It lasted awhile then stopped. I’m asking because my anxiety won’t let me stop thinking about it! ",4.842830188679244,7.5899212075471745,4.574188679245285,81.14769811320755,72.77358490566037,8.768301886792452,33.241509433962264,9.3871,3.4948671698113216,236,12,41,6,5,72,45,53,0.14400000000000002,0.778,0.078,-0.3802,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,2,0,0,7,10,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,2,4,0,3,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37637681226273545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299756674986048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14995858317743593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243843830378798,0.0,0.23619742257500906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852421803904376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5830195170060533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20052185231567146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515504365330081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113320182417374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576260959160561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403050793325111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mymopedgotstolen,2019/02/02,"Am I hallucinating? Concerned These experiences have been getting increasingly more common and these last couple of months I've gone from having one every once in a while to many every day. 

It's hard to explain but I'll try. It's like there is something in my field of vision that I hadn't really noticed or payed attention to, and then suddenly it's like it moves and it startles me and makes me notice it. For an example if I'm sitting at a table drawing or something and there is a glass on the table. It's in my field of vision but I haven't noticed it. Randomly I'll just see it make a fast movement and that's when I notice the glass. This happens with items as small as a coin to larger things. It's freaking me out and it makes me uncomfortable. (not a completely accurate description but I don't know how else to explain it)

I've tried to google this but didn't find anything. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar? Could it be related to anxiety? (And of course I will talk to a doctor if it gets too bad and I'm thinking of going back to my therapist) 

Thanks for reading :)",2.5014070243482043,4.694293719457015,4.212023270846803,83.60853695324285,77.86877828054298,7.286446886446887,25.908424908424912,8.269060116576782,1.8382461107519936,876,34,171,17,21,294,124,221,0.077,0.831,0.091,0.6174,0,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,10,0,14,1,0,4,0,34,30,24,0,3,11,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,22,11,0,0,6,1,2,5,5,3,0,1,4,3,13,3,26,23,3,23,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,6,12,116,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644759650346736,0.0,0.0,0.0881550892609551,0.12917949522519295,0.10374959219564443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969444623594624,0.10526797724538853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218801536742686,0.0,0.0,0.10066122002292728,0.13950040901685362,0.0,0.08130842272561267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290438628293796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21064020723444168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21244849817896624,0.0,0.0,0.1233262663817062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523094288836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317387417979431,0.0,0.07165174882106536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148836107451086,0.0,0.11293909981232195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928792988909227,0.10276855572478404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231884770880076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524696076097777,0.12782101263680193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063245334439368,0.13399855987985568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5741522653622356,0.0,0.13426654911224378,0.08543218472201118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261098585237706,0.0,0.0807673478064413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046604220718867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29117779393920185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013349046605164,0.0,0.11607360316936187,0.0,0.14638365216738836,0.08375911996433097,0.0807842438854399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711943041282474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mythjohn,2019/02/02,"I don't have any idea what is wrong with me I m helpless and i don t know what s wrong with me or what to do with me. I got tired, i m afraid to ask for help, i don t know to ask for it, i don t know what to do, i m destroying myself daily, i dont want it, i really dont, i m afraid of everying ",-3.056891891891894,-1.83662054054054,1.2526351351351366,102.55706081081085,92.24324324324324,5.321621621621622,13.304054054054054,6.6274283507984215,-1.0229945945945942,216,3,68,3,8,83,35,74,0.262,0.696,0.042,-0.922,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,2,0,0,7,1,0,0,0,10,14,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,15,0,10,13,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,40,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463913043031587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976801282018289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4985512812422006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920376538694666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701107239645044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256422283810774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401054987529073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35067297830081146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625714440248682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444603239004644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545235978489253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4650947320749784,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jacquiedr,2019/02/02,"I just don’t like myself I’m pretty sick of being myself. I just feel so cringey and awkward. I wish I could feel comfortable in my skin. I wish I could talk loudly and say what I feel without feeling stupid and insecure. Why do I worry so much about what people thought about me? I know I’m not alone in my problems however it seems everyone around me is fine and happy and rational. I want to think rationally so badly. I feel so anxious because I did nothing today but sit in bed and I just want it to be tomorrow, I feel like a lazy piece of shit. My mind is going crazy and I just can’t stop thinking about how much I hate my life and I hate myself solely because today has been unproductive. I have a lot of school work but I don’t want to do any of it, I don’t have anything else to do but scroll through social media and fuck around and that makes me hate myself even more.",1.3948067632850254,3.418140847826088,3.08253623188406,91.16922705314009,80.73913043478261,5.828019323671497,21.63526570048309,6.937597516519254,0.5077425120772943,692,21,149,8,18,229,98,184,0.243,0.636,0.12,-0.9842,1,1,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,1,15,15,6,2,2,0,18,5,2,2,0,45,42,18,0,8,9,0,7,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,6,12,0,1,11,0,0,1,6,10,0,0,3,9,31,5,18,35,5,11,0,0,0,1,3,5,2,2,6,104,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633383082133076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295014824899498,0.0,0.0,0.13780195774984813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037862068921677,0.2171749846191727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018476712535894,0.14871497244204793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947811882236854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018981039656158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056621744656574,0.0,0.0,0.11655650663162255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700585795841816,0.08714207978538388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276795358443252,0.0,0.0,0.0693236818036447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298492978538829,0.0,0.3612880962120935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703666670383522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861576299478943,0.11918590862103175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103702490597051,0.0,0.0,0.08142217057273791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231643820818702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933773074406348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704248656602699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456513020040501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409686238689473,0.0,0.1167177746897514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700288366492174,0.0,0.1234496253779542,0.0,0.11104542892085507,0.0,0.0,0.1252100610529228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243425971941454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198020756999973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804238977936873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631889828251644,0.0,0.0968379873119839,0.0,0.0,0.23124434288409326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21583976227007168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100674005184042,0.0,0.28054049029422096,0.11758375104478835,0.0,0.08880242748790121,0.12387596199283847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,begurl01,2019/02/02,You Are Worth It! Sometimes in our day we need someone to notice we aren’t okay. Everyone has something they are struggling with. This is just to say that you deserve happiness and good things to come your way. :) ,3.3520000000000003,5.9358422,3.0599999999999987,90.935,77.0,6.0,27.5,7.1686216300943375,1.41825,168,7,32,2,4,50,34,40,0.056,0.675,0.27,0.8687,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,3,3,1,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,7,7,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,7,3,5,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,1,23,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616449452146477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588704508593344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902363981281392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25476253581226577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233366681766537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22521921515702575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34580977874440616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24154608246736425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257357749301107,0.2338337396355361,0.30040643164773084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31753479094414816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179122849523184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410945175962513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thhr543h,2019/02/02,"no access to mental health facilities My parents don't believe in treating mental health. They're view is just ""get over it, you'll be fine."" Problem is I'm not fine. I'm constantly consumed by worry I have no clue how to control  to the point where I'm even paranoid people can listen to my thoughts and I have suicidal thoughts all the time. Problem is my parents don't think it's that bad, they say ""oh you don't seemed so depressed it's just teenage hormones."" Problem is I don't feel bad all the time, I can have a great day and enjoy myself but at the end of the day for no reason I start getting suicidal thoughts. Everytime I think of a memory it feels like someone else's, just super distant, I never really build connections with people I think partly because of that, and I worry about the tiniest thing. I've been working out and trying to do stuff more but that only got me to a certain point. I really think I need help but I have no way to get it. I'm 16 and i reside in the US, I've thought about going to a school counselor I hear ours is pretty bad but it might be worth a shot. ",2.781855115026921,4.206862841409695,4.143311306901617,87.8188631913852,74.77092511013215,6.630347528144887,26.267498776309356,7.1686216300943375,1.193445619187469,863,31,179,9,18,285,120,227,0.184,0.705,0.111,-0.9066,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,2,1,3,9,15,0,0,12,0,21,2,0,3,4,38,45,11,2,4,8,2,2,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,11,7,0,1,12,0,1,1,10,7,0,0,6,6,24,8,21,35,4,19,0,1,1,0,11,9,0,2,9,114,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25940071138831405,0.06312821420908891,0.0,0.0,0.11667480751258018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190979586652387,0.11614950491671547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357314825647126,0.0,0.08919466251728381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650972029259685,0.0,0.09172196797096438,0.0,0.0,0.06839931917365992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472443537812974,0.0739821120763202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623149044658065,0.0,0.058854601696121424,0.0,0.08282507960912301,0.1141734559504579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201553851708791,0.11671779653530592,0.0,0.06941298485357619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050593383077587435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20872493656735136,0.10985905328369627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678721071926509,0.07987059032320573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876079823423762,0.0,0.0,0.2299786038413249,0.1121436106762461,0.0,0.14358865328078455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957922437946812,0.0,0.0,0.10535608059892584,0.0,0.2972740899573139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326842725659388,0.10647524026184876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235376328748334,0.0,0.1048065876208685,0.0,0.0942756402901884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774466118284681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329913922956327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854954447764646,0.2265520722149705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879957188803552,0.2654240587524689,0.0,0.3288550765923819,0.12077142338872325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030932774072428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456795459232732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219980481245984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539171843545027,0.21033708000284185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VoidEpoch,2019/02/02,"Are people normalizing mental health? Recently I keep hearing casual references to mental health. For example, one of my teachers was talking about some neatness and says things like 'Everyone is a bit OCD' and things along those lines - I'm sure you've heard something like that before. 

I'm thinking that it's stuff like this which creates the 'Just get over it' mentality in some people. Do you think this sort of stuff is a serious issue, or just a harmless method of relating emotions? ",6.937765151515151,8.440761488636365,6.62318181818182,73.70060606060609,64.79545454545455,9.957575757575757,33.984848484848484,10.125756701596842,3.683630303030302,393,17,64,9,6,123,66,88,0.014,0.7829999999999999,0.203,0.9332,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,8,0,0,4,0,5,2,0,0,1,15,13,3,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,12,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,3,3,7,9,11,3,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,4,4,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616891026123848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747051118756982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000582169784285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291009577647469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360610261740482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401967388937158,0.18035903923654525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702381481131442,0.0,0.14223696859158652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23453939933247325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838006303427215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15678985755290908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843662092435548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188142956552465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580047108579122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272577624402926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319453987867858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663791226122184,0.0,0.0,0.15082102811042236,0.0,0.0,0.12862148707578366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126260956589981,0.20507424595005508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,colllleeeen,2019/02/02,It's OK To Get Lost Sometimes An article about getting lost and remembering your purpose and goals in life. ,2.6273333333333326,5.632448400000005,3.5300000000000047,81.62833333333334,90.0,6.666666666666668,31.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,2.9646666666666666,88,5,15,2,3,28,18,20,0.195,0.68,0.125,-0.1697,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,3,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35592727342383684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405950427058624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7436695845487566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38586418069609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368889795336924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,afalkens,2019/02/02,"Passive Aggressive Coworker, What to do? So this has been nagging at me for awhile, because I just cant figure out how to deal with it.

I had this coworker at a this little pizza place I used to work at, and for reasons I've yet to fully understand, he began being really passive aggressive and shitty to me after 5 months of me working there.

​

For the purpose of clarity, I'll give him a fake name so all the ""he"" pronouns don't get confusing. I'm gonna call him ""Dick"". Originally, he never said much to me when I started working there, but eventually when we did start interacting, he was very friendly to me. We even went to a coworker basketball game together. He was kind of always obnoxious and little misogynistic, so I never liked him that much, but I would pal around with him at work because often times it was just the two of us working during the day.

Then, I got a tiny promotion, that wasn't even official, from my boss, and Dick started acting very weird. When I first told him about the promotion, he said ""you know that's not a real thing right? You don't actually get any authority."" To which I replied, ""yes, but I'm just happy because it means he's happy with my work."" 

Over the course of the next few months, Dick became more and more of an ass. My boss tried to get him to train me to do grills as part of the promotion, and Dick would make excuses as to why he couldn't do it because he was ""busy"".

Then came all of the comments. I would move a pot to a different burner to cook something and I would hear him loudly say to my boss ""Any reason the pasta pot is on the front burner and not the back one?""

Obviously my boss would say he didn't know, and then Dick would huff and move it. 

And, ""Someone who's not a delivery driver should probably move their car"" he would shout down the hall when I was the only person in earshot and my car was parked outside. 

The list goes on. 

And he would do it everyday about everything he could, and he was the only person I worked with during the day full time. He would even say things like ""Oh did (my name) make that salad? I'm gonna have to check that. She doesn't fill it up enough"" to my boss. Basically any effort he could to try to diminish my abilities and make it seem like I wasn't capable of doing my job, even though I was very competent.

Eventually it got to the point where he made me cry one day because I got to breaking point with his passive aggressive bullying. I was over by the grill area about to obviously make an order, and he struts up and shoves his 6"" 7 300lb+ body in the tiny space right next to me to the point where his shoulder is making full contact with mine, and quickly reaches over me to take the ingredients and start making it himself. Then when, surprised I said, ""Oh...can I make it?"" he said ""No, go finish doing cheese prep"".  And I knew all of this was overt because I heard from other coworkers that he would talk shit about how I didn't deserve a promotion. I hadn't been there long enough blah blah.

He's not my boss or a manager, and I technically outranked him, yet he commanded me like I was.

The whole time I felt like I was being bullied emotionally, and even in some cases like the grill incident, I felt like he would use his large stature to intimidate me/ shove me out of a space.

He also used to do this thing where he would block the hallway while using one of the large appliances and refuse to step the side when I needed to get past. So, I had to walk all the way around through another hallway. But, for everyone else he would move, just not me.

I tried ignoring it. I tried killing him with kindness. I even tried talking to him during a lunch break and asking why it seemed like we weren't friends anymore and like he was upset with me. Nothing. Nothing worked. 

I don't work there anymore thank god, but i keep wracking my brain about how I should have, or could have dealt with it better. Like either have gotten him to relax, or kept him from getting in the way of my work in a calm way. But i cant figure out what i should have done differently, and I worry about what I'd do if I ever encounter this again. Thoughts?

P.S. I spoke to my managers about it and they sympathized but acted like I should have gotten over it. Even my boss noticed his behavior and played it off jokingly by saying ""hey people only act that way if they really hate you or really like you."" What the hell?!

​

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mentalhealth,Cobrasniper20,2019/02/02,"Me (plain and simple) Hello, I'm not really sure how to start this but I'm a 22 year old Male who lives in the north east of the United States. I dont know what this is but I'm wondering if there is other people with it. I kind of fall for people alot faster and harder then most people. Resently I asked one of my female freinds if she would want to date me she seid no. I have now become obsessed with who she is dating. After seeing her is get depress/angry/ sad to a point where I either punch my car roof or what to not be here anymore. Someone please tell me it cureable. Thanks.",1.156463414634146,3.1111040975609785,2.605873983739837,94.63612804878048,81.1951219512195,4.750406504065039,16.754065040650403,5.46131890053228,-0.6615252032520322,456,8,100,2,12,148,88,123,0.084,0.82,0.095,0.3314,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,1,5,0,8,0,0,1,1,20,19,9,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,0,1,14,3,12,17,3,17,0,1,1,0,10,5,0,6,9,67,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075873357553632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195684192148956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23117542512390016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802853953994547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453192850138956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093600816647228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797261772069335,0.11503576803052525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18483174034120547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196441623727828,0.0,0.141839379524736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4353444993401681,0.0,0.0,0.2297684455398208,0.19787328687874411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409455155572772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679944609097805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735456908618674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481564470954839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19727985678738744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829532683892229,0.1927120078494364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346125409227313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22699657897593464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486935912387486,0.0,0.0,0.13479401052359832
mentalhealth,3glitch6giirl9,2019/02/02,"Triggered by spread of negative stigma on “split personality” aka DID. I was looking through trueoffmychest and this lady said her husband had split personality because he lived two lives and cheated on her etc etc and she didn’t find out until after he died. 
It kills me to see this kinda of stuff since I myself do In fact have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Movies like glass and split are really making it hard for people like me to come out about their disorders. It’s sucks Hollywood gets to do whatever they want with no consequences. Giving false reputations and showing no fact or information in the disorder. Only making a spectators sport out of us. And now doom patrol is coming out with crazy Jane. Joke being the actress claims to be an intersectional feminist in her instagram bio. Funny how people can pick and choose what they support when money is involved, or it doesn’t involve them. She is literally going to create so much stigma, and open soo many more doors for other opportunities to be made. Harlequin was altered in her role for the sake of peoples feelings and thoughts. Yet Trauma survivors everywhere that suffer from DID just don’t seem to matter?


I live in fear and shame when I shouldn’t have to. I’ve lost friends and family to this diagnosis. I’m feared suddenly by people who I’ve enjoyed for years with no issues. Everyone just wants to paint us as monsters. When in fact DID is only a coping mechanism. We are all born multiples. And around the age 7-9 we integrate. But my brain never allowed me to do that because of the repetitive abuse I had endured at such a young age. I’m more likely to hurt myself than anyone else. I’m tired of having to live in shame and in the shadows. It’s so hard already to get help with this disorder!! There is so little information on it, some therapists don’t even believe in it being real. I just want to scream and cry and punch shit. It’s not fair. I’ve been hurt so much in this life already. When will people realize they can’t just self diagnosis and slap such damaging labels on people. When is someone going to stand up against the stigma? 

Sorry if it seems a bit of a rant. It is. I’m tired of this fight but I can’t give up. ",3.8839985976542586,6.065818530660376,4.992868434472211,79.67676185619584,73.59905660377359,8.074349821519633,26.317950025497197,8.841846274778883,2.1810923763386025,1763,63,321,37,37,579,235,424,0.159,0.785,0.056,-0.9871,1,0,0,0,2,2,38.0,4,0,5,2,22,25,5,4,13,0,36,5,2,7,5,69,64,33,2,5,10,1,3,3,1,2,3,2,1,3,22,30,0,0,9,4,1,4,13,17,0,1,13,7,28,8,64,45,9,47,1,6,2,0,33,25,2,7,20,219,50,0,0.0,0.09673773702337618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18019785894935028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057089122593733416,0.08365647521128425,0.0,0.0726826841371524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954188220549276,0.0,0.0,0.0919876325607644,0.0,0.0,0.08913681834236471,0.0,0.0,0.09114448241740576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066243940450127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968483294380457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473616394205617,0.0,0.3742957938179499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820516384697588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821148321786628,0.0539267351169589,0.0,0.0,0.07801671790599253,0.0,0.0,0.07696904227717685,0.1837499955340292,0.04128291739696345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462341063114028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307987388458983,0.0,0.08531384000512872,0.15664550147157866,0.09280316103798532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462784319967164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054725919688945794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480850752799007,0.0,0.0,0.08521772076295978,0.0,0.0,0.0903297417357704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05766932885469744,0.11966504933925792,0.0818312300038496,0.2883813779818298,0.0,0.06856248649683659,0.0,0.08912678613043899,0.0,0.0,0.07725588081625714,0.10899932910555303,0.08277672363165017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003912568845385,0.0,0.0629708046809523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419166609522585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396203660279529,0.14258112766180134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929315777236596,0.05230483071537051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766450668541898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506167991158415,0.14865579199707854,0.08517509313602184,0.0,0.08380894635965118,0.06753881835884801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917880409775863,0.0,0.0,0.0913965585133631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346569469574592,0.0,0.09265146671732802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479786515290656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648181912536268,0.0,0.1876812539160342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797567548100764,0.0,0.19642134373608428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444716415458535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257766121058728
mentalhealth,worthless456,2019/02/02,"Hearing whispering voices in my head and I can’t make out what they’re saying Hi so I’ve literally never told ANYONE this before but I’m 14 and for years now I’ve been hearing whispering voices in my head. When I was younger (like 7-11 years old) they were almost every day but then they stopped for like 2 years and when I was around 13 they came back again and I’ve had them ever since. I hear them mainly when its quiet-ish but not always and they sound like a huge room of loads of people just whispering quite loudly but I can’t make out what any one person is saying and I never have been able to but they are kinda aggressive and they sound like their mocking me or trying to scare me almost even though I don’t know what they’re saying. That probably makes no sense because It’s hard to explain which is mainly why I’ve never told anyone. I have no idea whether it’s something to worry about or not because they never tell me to harm myself or others or anything dangerous like that like other people experience. I’m more just curious as to why and how I could maybe get them to stop because they can not only be very distracting in school and things but also they’re really distressing and upsetting coz they are quite scary. They make me feel like I’m being surrounded and mocked and threatened and it stresses me out that I can’t make out what they’re saying. 
Whilst I’m here I may as well mention another completely different thing that I get often as well which I’ve never told anyone about which is where randomly I have these “episodes” where everything around me in the world becomes really fast and intense all of a sudden and it feels like all of the sounds around me are like almost echoing and kind of like they are mocking me even though they are just sounds so they can’t really mock me? It sounds stupid I know but yeah all the sounds around me become like 10 times more intense and loud and it’s kinda scary as well. Everything almost feels not real and when I come out of it I feel like I just made it up and like it didn’t actually happen like I imagined it and I almost can’t really remember what I did during that time (probably because it’s really distracting and it takes up all my head space so I can’t really think) It’s really weird. These “episodes” can last from like 5 minutes to about an hour but the normal amount of time they generally last is about 30 minutes. Again it’s really hard to describe and I’ve tried googling it but I can never find anything so again I don’t know whether it’s anything to worry about or not. I’m just curious if anyone gets either of these things or what they could be caused by. ",2.753136895207522,4.871530838951312,3.6643239318199217,88.20166131621191,76.75280898876404,6.831093785828937,21.384850569441266,7.817275551320576,0.8944234197049608,2124,56,426,33,49,679,211,534,0.154,0.727,0.119,-0.9763,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,19,2,41,34,7,6,7,1,37,3,3,9,11,113,70,58,0,4,29,0,6,15,0,1,0,20,1,1,40,34,0,2,13,0,0,2,22,15,3,1,13,26,56,19,46,51,10,57,0,0,0,0,34,22,0,17,48,283,96,1,0.05579555198271124,0.0,0.05444841012999089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793559282994991,0.0,0.0,0.044619682762196466,0.046426368938093564,0.0,0.0,0.03794288865924732,0.05850650115766985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605418903005205,0.0,0.13774495557791547,0.19867948243429107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042903335420819935,0.0,0.13604980245228254,0.1232436070620355,0.047477905200702684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381524736357197,0.0,0.057317401478394425,0.0,0.04806292755729751,0.058500574699073125,0.0,0.0,0.08909641626561811,0.0,0.0,0.035983515178000136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058294476344049814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370487172839478,0.050470271123997684,0.047010158987858805,0.0,0.10029088880820056,0.054578756166110035,0.0,0.0,0.11284763020486373,0.11958106045478202,0.0,0.0,0.0509961236905463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745261910345108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049339822350671386,0.0,0.09996371042642772,0.0,0.17178700005419534,0.0,0.1886569265451496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494737954490924,0.0,0.0,0.06298638673055185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581024813391272,0.09199132856986217,0.09096164359806316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088833253484112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052795100366049175,0.186219821040107,0.0,0.05605413139853874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25819781625443555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466779442566856,0.0,0.0,0.05854804598376522,0.0,0.03780851002372013,0.04243503152671693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736322085928511,0.04871852385653743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031408396650033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869087508772158,0.0,0.06350755335719968,0.2859524746150951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320548370359011,0.0,0.0,0.17748344962451054,0.05586108114743592,0.05646807738885819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04615465717542375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04295414184032767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329515963396272,0.06391361628270349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04195131124887853,0.0,0.04876777172139261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112042564656598,0.03575153678487603,0.1096376930670462,0.0,0.09760450517118653,0.0,0.0,0.15994512295599395,0.0,0.07576303456007724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046037173768651615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050070602661575,0.0,0.1006936144428938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332618283797632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779151844351084
mentalhealth,ArtfulGhost,2019/02/02,"Is a feeling of space around you altering a symptom of a panic attack? Let me elaborate, because this has been getting worse recently and I'm becoming more and more curious as to what it is exactly. I can only think it might be a symptom of a panic attack, but I can't tell at all (I'm also not prone to panic attacks).

I have a rather debilatating aversion to conflict. As in, classic freeze-up, I can't think and don't know what to do in the slightest. Fortunately, I'm quite a capable interpersonal diplomat, so the vast majority of the time this doesn't occur, but lately I have found myself in a number of unavoidable and inescapable personal conflicts that quite literally make me feel as though the room I am in has expanded in size. I'm absolutely concious at the time that nothing at all has *really* happened to the room itself - I at least have that much control over my perceptions - but the worse my stress becomes in a conflict, the worse the very vivid, illusory sense of the room expanding in size becomes. *Why* that strikes my brain as such a problem isn't entirely clear (apart from the obvious 'reality isn't behaving itself' dilemma), but I guess the sensible reasons would be a) the literal distance between myself and who I am in conflict with increases (which is a bad thing, as ideally you'd want the 'gap' to close, in a reconcilliatory manner, right?) and b) if I wanted to run away, I'd be running forever and still wouldn't reach the door, which is scary. I'm not one for panic attacks, and I feel as though my grip on reality is pretty solid for the most part, so this recent phenomenon has me a bit stumped.

I've a long history of hallucinations (exclusively as a result of high fevers - I get bloody hot, man) as it happens, and the feeling accompanying these strange experiences actually resembles the feeling of dread that comes with said hallucinations, but I really don't think it's a hallucination that's coming up - there's just sensory/emotional similarities and I thought it was worth mentioning.

Any ideas anyone? It really bends my head and I hate feeling like my grip on my immediate reality is distorting due to stress, especially when I'm trying to focus on resolving the conflict at hand; it completely throws me off, not to mention it makes me feel like I'm losing my mind a bit. It just happened now, hence my deciding it's about time I tried to find an answer.

Thank you.",7.1569516916344025,7.2318535295404835,8.229113785557988,67.37035305504125,64.0328227571116,11.75724625483925,37.2705773438815,11.362043627235082,4.464583639117993,1921,90,341,54,26,657,230,457,0.2,0.7090000000000001,0.09,-0.9957,0,1,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,3,0,6,15,20,5,7,38,0,34,6,3,5,5,73,69,31,0,8,12,0,11,2,0,3,3,1,4,2,28,17,0,6,20,0,1,6,11,15,0,1,5,13,35,5,57,56,12,49,0,1,1,0,10,32,0,4,13,233,63,0,0.0,0.0,0.07446286477724626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061021238195805114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051890150341330384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335436768459017,0.0,0.0,0.06792780266309846,0.0,0.3472327078785995,0.07169124406980132,0.0,0.06371165193580203,0.04651493964097991,0.2528192841281578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16661102374675799,0.0,0.0,0.08518183510940368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146034078693222,0.0800045469244816,0.0,0.08558276640990209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583307583693485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464112414677823,0.0,0.0,0.270075400999831,0.109024895472072,0.0,0.0,0.06974156735645917,0.0,0.0,0.08366470961588574,0.0,0.0,0.07973263174161288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405877683819367,0.0,0.20242930019775096,0.0,0.0,0.07533558418205605,0.07831114581665555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062062971083764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613927912177965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04193534052768631,0.0,0.0860755854460073,0.0,0.0,0.07802723341384322,0.0,0.07455772952145791,0.0,0.0,0.0675276978541837,0.0,0.08536599694230218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186862257206412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080947755239536,0.07704649645400406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609309932906136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321689415193862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170637604668482,0.0580335404991307,0.0,0.3581108296010819,0.0,0.08263109208902839,0.0,0.0,0.06662675448953463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762981721037943,0.0,0.07301376795586507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231993846743964,0.0,0.0,0.14664918864812546,0.07845445077275229,0.1506843523363963,0.0,0.0,0.0651642210179082,0.07258371573205799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093742861523484,0.0,0.17481468991735835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862063212273772,0.0,0.0,0.06669410516318193,0.0702515731524114,0.0,0.0,0.05069378207179633,0.146679866841031,0.14993893657959886,0.060577802770009764,0.13348252139705427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361243944666508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295977856612334,0.09001356397187414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688535714660235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332845429769103,0.05420502239987562,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pacup,2019/02/02,"I am having social issues, and I need help Some background, I'm am married and currently unemployed but looking while my wife has been stable teaching job. I spend all day at home doing random chores and whatever around the house. I'd go out and hang out somewhere but there  really isn't anywhere where I'm at.

I was having a good day and I went with my wife and mom to our local mall. I've been alone at home for the past few weeks and they thought it would be good to get me out. It was great and we were having fun, when we went to our Books A Million is when things got bad. I don't know when it started but I think it's when I saw an obease mouth breather looking at something in the store, and I suddenly I was very self conscious of myself. I was afraid to be in the book store, afraid of all the people who would judge me and think negative of me for what I like. Then it increased to being scared of people. Now I'm home and I've locked myself away, afraid of everything. Afraid to even look at my wife and talk to her. I don't know what's wrong with me.  ",2.307534722222222,3.68734262053572,3.1704761904761902,94.49674603174608,75.91964285714286,6.227777777777778,21.373015873015877,6.691623216298621,0.1801753968253972,833,20,191,7,18,264,120,224,0.069,0.795,0.136,0.9385,4,1,1,0,0,0,18.0,4,0,1,0,9,12,0,5,8,0,23,1,1,0,2,36,42,21,0,3,3,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,9,20,0,0,6,3,3,5,4,7,0,1,12,4,28,5,28,25,5,33,0,0,4,0,15,14,0,2,15,127,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422021486062985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222675919668152,0.0,0.0,0.1289985555530177,0.0,0.11464037454299207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709522456265306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068583728919508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339704297382832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173396457658411,0.0,0.07803116898845099,0.2303226763670447,0.1098119364876663,0.15137453960295447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202978518261108,0.0,0.4131714811958797,0.0,0.0,0.15842660813788914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433062903308514,0.13624978873223348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091378103101308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707820137851395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458940995283487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608049556216622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101806751606674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106908274166962,0.1903740768959341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795836346119361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374619830939424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432346056269261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996080360534366,0.0,0.10570080990530473,0.0,0.0,0.09718216341793674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103571259612942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121650415794373,0.1759535277211751,0.0,0.10900144302557238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328748159343052,0.0,0.0,0.11013436380005244,0.0,0.0,0.2545583046415873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950689985654283,0.1501167944885787,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Katelynw4,2019/02/02,"Need advice PLEASE help My boyfriend (23) is very severely depressed (or bi-polar I'm not sure) and he's only getting worse. He had a really bad manic episode yesterday and got really drunk to make himself feel better. That seemed to work for the rest of the night.

He went to work this morning mosr likely really hungover and he messaged me saying he feels worse than yesterday. 

He used to be addicted to meth but he's about a year and a half clean now. He tried to find some yesterday :\ Luckily, the people that he asked are real friends and told him thwy couldn't help him.

He has an appointment with a psychiatrist in 2 weeks. I don't think that it's soon enough. He told me he wanted to grab a police officer's gun after getting pulled over for speeding (that was his plan). 

I'm in tears, I don't know what to do. I'm the only one that he feels comfortable talking to about this so I feel responsible. I'm not a doctor, I'm really worried that I said or will say something to make this worse.

Any advice at all is welcome.

",2.1526811594202897,4.3202291352657065,3.60978502415459,87.61670652173916,78.90338164251206,7.038550724637682,22.91038647342995,8.07648339933343,1.2802542995169075,809,26,165,15,20,266,124,207,0.127,0.725,0.14800000000000002,0.8301,0,0,2,1,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,5,8,0,0,11,0,12,3,0,3,2,29,37,9,0,3,5,0,5,1,1,1,2,3,1,0,11,6,1,0,8,1,0,2,5,2,0,2,7,8,11,6,22,27,4,16,0,1,0,0,29,4,0,4,11,86,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607008740166768,0.0,0.2439414881374105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488054737238096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668801817483435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042178497217058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110391413122791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750559492825648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775655290222507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897040125396655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524470054846603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408142726287307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643410805607236,0.0,0.1304245484191261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998283889087372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673258022806858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859673049361116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06097978952647819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663402181550893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925509950739076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713327510567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457993419974838,0.18985948782653533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653311285810764,0.0,0.0,0.13701272573282353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420702556321059,0.3198465302127267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873053905475395,0.198520630426425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362965575070208,0.0,0.1410088571232245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609102522639168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176395255106364,0.0,0.0,0.1003240125043414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997836008103999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23853797230132245,0.0,0.08474325586811479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780271083381003,0.0,0.10298795497765048,0.07362091389804612,0.0,0.10012150275560301,0.0,0.0,0.1157075735503644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18173803934727867,0.1267587784010957,0.38160073869788297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037872542031171
mentalhealth,PossibleEffort5,2019/02/02,"The Know-it-all syndrome Even without knowing something or all the details, I create a theory or explanation for everything. This isn't so bad when it's about the things that I actually know about, but then it comes to theorizing literally about everything that is possible/impossible to word and I nearly go completely crazy with it. It feels good up until to the point where there's a need to put these 'explanations' into words. Sometimes it gets so bad I start to dissociate or get an existential crisis. And this happens nearly every single day, making me highly unproductive, to add on top the cake. How do I accept that I can't know everything and stop this habit?",7.938433179723503,8.134749064516129,8.542764976958528,65.36629032258068,62.38709677419354,11.92442396313364,34.64976958525345,11.491704259439757,4.224328571428572,540,21,91,15,7,181,83,124,0.092,0.768,0.14,0.6343,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,10,4,0,0,8,0,4,0,0,2,1,24,16,13,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,13,7,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,1,7,2,18,16,2,18,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,3,6,67,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.1765272224155973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30207919035565123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582484562168092,0.1896647475415509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666217566237165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947930392870032,0.0,0.15241166402527115,0.0,0.4877297241361927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146584201764638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890201251232752,0.0,0.10280667890567877,0.15172596887192544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996466698015752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191125279356689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39766018707712986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207486782018375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341311960148465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100404862096508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184922924216612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926164845246888,0.17890957456435924,0.0,0.12803826470093946,0.0,0.0,0.15123614588272227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017846170229968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437612405565098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InPrimis,2019/02/02,"Collapsed thoughts My head has been clouded for about two months. It's started out with me trying too hard to be more than what I was, I started exhausting myself mentally trying to be funnier and more amusing but while doing so I began dulling myself. I started losing my self in the process and continued to question who I was. From here it started spiraling into simple confusion. My mind has latched onto this ""I don't know"" mindset. My thoughts no longer flow, I can't hold basic conversations without hitting a block. Every now and then I forget about it but then I notice I'm being my self and I'm pulled back into the ""is this m"" And get lost and confused again. I can't seem to let go and it builds up a pressure in my head. I've started meditating to try and soothe the mental rapids in my mind but it will be some time. I'm writing this just to get it out",1.972643678160917,4.319924425287359,3.302988505747127,88.59919540229885,80.60919540229884,5.475862068965519,25.75862068965517,6.691623216298621,1.0885655172413795,686,28,134,7,18,223,104,174,0.161,0.7809999999999999,0.057,-0.9389,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,9,8,0,3,5,0,16,3,2,0,0,32,34,15,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,11,13,0,2,5,1,0,3,5,7,0,1,7,1,20,1,22,20,3,27,0,3,0,0,6,9,0,5,15,100,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934641409367453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198133492623834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859187066719048,0.0,0.08081804371737211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738722021742796,0.0,0.2918855027562042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815182516824458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541364461067194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590903611225733,0.15523291270068712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866171983543912,0.0,0.2871718338246824,0.0,0.11350620393207445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190066413574894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593014850211052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945755470056652,0.2967004280330791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5032650691688378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257888354588453,0.08292053547176005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896423810203119,0.0,0.13891304617001468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707997736338762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,colebebe,2019/02/02,"What are your favorite reads when you're feeling down?? Been feeling more blegh than usual lately. Loneliness, anxiety, winter depression overlapping regular depression. What are your favorite books to read when you're feeling down and need a serious pick-me-up? Any great life-affirming finds? Thanks! 

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​",7.860808625336926,12.131389905660374,5.396819407008088,69.8556603773585,74.47169811320755,9.066307277628033,39.646900269541774,9.23628265651192,5.435848517520217,287,17,33,8,7,81,39,53,0.197,0.523,0.28,0.6759,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,8,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,2,4,7,1,8,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,16,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4763439110280371,0.5342041656912364,0.0747416518077337,0.0,0.08407981740621495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932832061649826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667193494381761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045451611903028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117467606255708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239817459427959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763173079347821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149587228656488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21987678827063434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118911941792699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104885162234374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5342041656912364,0.0
mentalhealth,finallySelfAware0219,2019/02/02,"Suddenly self aware of past social awkwardness (and past) Not sure where to begin. I'm 31 M who suddenly had a lot of self-realizations about my past. I've always been (and continue to be) insecure that I have no friends and that I'm a loser. I think I've finally come to accept that this is true.

Looking back at HS and college (and even before), almost anyone that talked to me was mocking me behind my back. Sometimes I would be invited to parties, social gatherings, etc. and everyone would be openly mocking me without me realizing it. At my age, I rarely get invited anywhere and when I try to reach out, people are usually brief or don't respond to my messages. When I do get invited somewhere, I'm pretty sure it's out of pity.

I have (and have always had) terrible social skills, especially in large groups. I'm loud, obnoxious, annoying, and don't know when to stop. I've always had moments in my life where I put myself above others to make myself feel important (and because of my huge insecurity) by putting others down. I cringe at past interactions I had with others where I tried to be cool - I would try so hard. Now I realize that those people were mocking me and laughing behind my back as I was being super cool.  

Since college, I've had a decently successful career. Although I feel I do pretty well in my line of work, social gatherings (including Monday lunch where we talk about our weekends and I always have nothing to offer) are awful. I try to focus on my career and am careful not to brag/show off to others anymore, although old habits die hard. 

Any advice how to get over this, and how to improve going forward? ",5.76347619047619,6.437360736507943,6.810277777777783,74.28875000000002,67.03174603174602,9.6015873015873,32.257936507936506,9.642632912329526,3.1297650793650806,1292,52,228,26,20,434,165,315,0.13699999999999998,0.7290000000000001,0.134,-0.0146,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,2,0,0,5,18,22,4,3,3,3,29,2,0,3,3,43,46,24,1,3,4,0,4,0,1,3,1,1,0,1,15,20,1,1,7,1,0,6,6,10,1,0,9,8,36,12,41,29,2,47,0,2,1,0,18,19,0,3,24,162,51,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249622661820353,0.0,0.0,0.09478377700786833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31504372414789195,0.0,0.0,0.06436896327213046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387278834482478,0.06618530320891486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21835263361912696,0.0,0.057701093977575016,0.0,0.0805448305095479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650755681958728,0.0,0.0,0.0815373032472779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823743032759308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556586648179207,0.06251904307904957,0.0,0.0,0.09044735486159478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572129614640584,0.0,0.0,0.10369043711463834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313057881695255,0.0,0.14836072386781013,0.0,0.053794883096688485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958541197986515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052020169077847324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685795546841604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948675249124203,0.0,0.0,0.0804726929291643,0.0,0.0,0.06318325907509402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082447322978347,0.0,0.09932498960290677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36143741405293417,0.13124436483544807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192597277902163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030977622145276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773864389358127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749259084510684,0.0,0.0,0.07829998024777585,0.0,0.0,0.38595731247765336,0.0,0.0,0.09361667696121202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791362086039079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784233144426905,0.0,0.0,0.15216095739519175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065140108058281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25705939433233993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424962381425423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510663228321799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124449216994636,0.0,0.06891030714359207,0.0,0.0,0.20172158336821344,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dayhawkFX,2019/02/02,"Problems with interpreting the mood of people texting me Hey guys,

I have a big problem. When someone texts me and doesent use emojis I always think that the person is mad at me or something.

It´s getting a bigger problem as time goes by because I always ask if someone is mad or sad. Sometimes I even react ike they are mad, when they dont use emojis. I know this sounds like a joke but it´s really serious. As example there is a girl which is very close to me. Wehad some issues in the past but it´s fine now. She doesen´t use any emojis most of the time and I always think of her tlaking in a monotone or even angry or pissed off way. This happens almost everytime I read text with out emojis.(It´s just very serious in her case) 

I know this all sounds silly and stupid but I really want to get this habbit off from me, it anoys me and the poeple I like.

​

Im sorry if i misspelled something, or if I used wrong grammar.

I would be very thankfull for some advice.",2.1617875647668363,4.561163974093269,3.336194300518134,88.33144170984457,80.24352331606218,5.31077720207254,23.121502590673572,6.508806274219699,0.7138686010362698,769,26,146,7,20,248,115,193,0.188,0.754,0.058,-0.9783,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,0,7,18,5,0,10,0,9,1,1,5,1,40,22,19,0,8,12,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,3,7,8,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,12,0,0,0,2,24,5,19,20,4,17,0,1,0,0,10,10,1,12,8,95,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179232384065904,0.0,0.0,0.12083963142963768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012364197126113,0.130752448646853,0.14663460815680948,0.082063851461273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281581572276472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356299938077203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143143065077518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594107844505678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260965097387371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194882611469729,0.10671343157011537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035084100733327,0.1259544425084318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264080113103482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179124438933322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151989435265178,0.08366157782790136,0.1053696712730644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34641204363897465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207087056280181,0.0,0.15461633412086995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044968493764388,0.18580463639907946,0.11935169811518713,0.13508695693423858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464867899620294,0.0,0.0,0.14073434921719172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4169014419841952,0.0,0.29871113586867193,0.07117786029426916,0.09578703066889484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572480282708547,0.1319403155109878,0.14663460815680948,0.0
mentalhealth,seisv,2019/02/02,please help. i smoked  last 3 years and now  i leave it  but i can't eat more. ,-4.2650000000000015,-3.7562269444444425,-2.0349999999999984,117.66750000000002,124.0,1.8,4.5,3.1291,-3.3926,57,0,18,0,4,18,16,18,0.075,0.685,0.24,0.34,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621830412138516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027526567367066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681807907164203,0.0,0.4782655987731386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4958107614839524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908681426823623
mentalhealth,theartofstruggling,2019/02/02,"I made a mental health blog! Hello everyone! I made a mental health blog to share my stories and hopefully relate to some of you. If you’d like to check it out here is the link! 
http://theartofstruggling.blog/2019/02/02/what-is-the-art-of-struggling/",8.398947368421055,12.800046263157894,3.2108421052631577,85.57889473684213,73.21052631578948,6.197894736842105,18.12631578947369,7.554174236665415,0.7070357894736845,210,4,30,3,5,51,29,38,0.0,0.784,0.21600000000000005,0.8061,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,2,0,8,5,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,5,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,1,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435396595729913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.541830789898466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531438881452982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245168393009672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4823292088927434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5136989820349603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26644595711588404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,p_a_r_a_d_o_x_,2019/02/02,"Send me some encouraging words, maybe? 
I have had depression for a long time but its just getting worse as time goes on.
 I feel really lonely. I'm working on a job where i feel undervalued and useless, really! I work closely with two other people who are close friends so i feel like an alien thanks to my awkwardness.
Everyday i force myself to get up and go to work and weekends just go by with me vegging out on my youtube. I'm on the edge of hating my job. 
Overall, i feel like i'm stuck and will never be able to get out of this. So i'm crying myself to sleep tonight. 
I wish tomorrow would be better. But i don't have high hopes.",1.4417439812096262,3.52569566412214,3.2025954198473308,90.04967116852616,80.90839694656488,6.4735173223722855,22.290663534938346,7.61054688173877,0.9047470346447452,496,16,107,8,13,165,83,131,0.199,0.64,0.161,-0.7015,2,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,5,12,1,1,4,0,9,1,1,0,1,24,27,9,0,3,4,0,4,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,4,1,0,3,2,5,0,1,2,4,16,7,19,21,1,22,0,3,0,0,4,11,0,2,10,66,20,5,0.16118976175726554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255924532725306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770593844022494,0.0,0.0,0.13883250560786115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32600954701963136,0.2303079960132556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453481008517113,0.0,0.2526449929682941,0.0,0.1832157124523428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914151851584898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030583322857715,0.0,0.16009780370107465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319911933111652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749835117048044,0.0,0.0,0.14264786680918706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193678106169834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431948130081133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174868511872484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065245777628919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130617107547035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484018760986115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798209266877655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745897544840992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18536027106354191,0.0,0.0,0.3520441989602591,0.0,0.1642661380572577,0.11450458199216408,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GoinCrazy123,2019/02/02,"Why can't I think?? This is like a really severe problem for me.  It's like I want to be smart, but when it comes to like understanding or doing even basic things,I am like the most stupid. I don't know, maybe it's because I think of useless things,but things that are a piece of cake for most people are challenging for me. This has led me to fear practicals or Mechanical jobs because one requires constant thinking in these things. How do I focus and start thinking,like all the time? Why do I hear thinking and using my brain?
P.S:But when it comes to pen paper tests, I  am always ahead and can think of answers easily",3.9776444444444436,5.117927760000004,4.64746666666667,86.48017777777778,71.4,7.475555555555558,25.08888888888889,7.793537801064563,1.1865022222222217,490,14,101,6,9,157,76,125,0.129,0.723,0.147,-0.5484,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,4,10,1,1,4,0,13,1,1,3,1,25,26,9,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,1,8,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,0,1,11,6,12,25,4,10,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,4,10,65,21,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410888009840702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19649917774976386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799224151144268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27767260444403463,0.0,0.17417079783915235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645327247616597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813644781169666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816537291233068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993937221397447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857648742477348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314964023578966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191998122383586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092150227003886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173709195391676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422083182818572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325157612243503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207965846011065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407910685283515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415241148368067,0.5163658788833996,0.0,0.0,0.09398129540363256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778681810620907,0.0,0.1392017577487429,0.0,0.0,0.09506403449794104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908671984234611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yo_dawg_its_dawg,2019/02/02,"TW: Suicide. I'm scared to go back on antidepressants So, the place I saw was NHS funded and diagnosed me with BPD after just two visits, which I don't think is appropriate now I look back. I saw a psychiatric nurse once every two weeks and she just rushed and seemed annoyed when I took up the whole hour of the session and tried to rush me out as soon as possible. I left in what I thought was a good place mentally, but I was weirdly happy thought I was the best thing in the world and have done some risky shit (such as sending nudes while I was at work... No one saw but I'm lucky I'm not fired and that is not like me at all because they even had my face in there).

So the nurses plan was I enroll myself in talk therapy and wait the year long waiting list, but now I seem to have slipped into being depressed again. And I did get a job, I've looked into private therapy but that is ridiculously expensive and I'm on minimum wage and am trying REALLY hard not to spend all of my money in one go. They suggested I take antidepressants before I left, but the last time I went manic, hallucinated and then crashed and had another suicide attempt. They said that can happen, but to be honest I think I need to be on mood stabilisers. Of course I want a proper diagnosis for this as I don't want to diagnose myself. 

But I've been discharged from that place now, so I don't know if it's worth sending her another letter explaining this because I don't think I should go onto a medication from a rushed diagnosis. I'll post the draft in the comments, I guess I'm just venting and want to know if it's worth sending the draft.

Edit: and please do not tell me to work on my self esteem and go out more. I go to the gym four times a week and work full-time, I've been doing this DBT crap for a year, finally got a sense of self and what remains is the physical symptoms holding me back.",4.310232558139539,4.758931475452197,5.357277519379847,84.22512558139537,70.16279069767441,8.775979328165375,27.8831007751938,8.841846274778883,1.8849614263565888,1479,48,318,25,25,489,196,387,0.108,0.7979999999999999,0.094,-0.7482,2,0,0,0,0,2,33.0,0,0,3,6,18,14,4,1,22,0,30,8,4,0,2,61,69,36,2,7,16,0,2,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,13,22,0,3,10,1,7,14,9,7,0,5,21,8,40,6,42,44,6,61,0,1,5,1,18,24,2,7,23,209,53,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907151617478403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097796755676664,0.0,0.1108712688634574,0.0,0.0773824804990378,0.0,0.0954349803554908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453461945912805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832571800926476,0.1846025549434087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306227794893716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060064421282872635,0.0,0.07662011825830957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961934462086988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04751192906648029,0.0,0.2584139457394509,0.07627540682119943,0.07273230983190257,0.0,0.10017967688546704,0.0,0.0804171503510292,0.0968063684354253,0.08146357595164096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955670028264512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024302972488883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995550785213923,0.07412750817598597,0.0,0.0,0.19761120765422865,0.0,0.0,0.044428253263494685,0.0,0.0,0.08047824636888846,0.15273188945021735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161158115713046,0.09164522888299556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743019418173928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684717905088754,0.12324538234112728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850360284321237,0.09982382895133582,0.0,0.10252017720230598,0.08709452484093534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058257919386433626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650391384091917,0.0,0.09104590870792363,0.0,0.0,0.1655750917849214,0.1897386395016913,0.0,0.09334768460397093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989452420349237,0.0,0.0,0.09452055020983972,0.06837488955973067,0.07309340800557383,0.07948478620232677,0.0,0.20799358431579645,0.0,0.060415900624279976,0.17481031985539391,0.0,0.1443909829811779,0.10605464704897148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103669190262132,0.12348336599118395,0.0,0.1776685835208546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091472110109953,0.0,0.14589172957430874,0.0,0.0,0.08430146155174703,0.0,0.10153026327464072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19861425488093626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712360431876848
mentalhealth,nausk1,2019/02/02,"Is there any evidence for different medications having differing efficacy based on depression symptoms? The reason I ask is that I have treatment resistant depression but my main symptom is anhedonia. I've tried a ton of different antidepressants but they've been SSRIs, SNRIs and a few atypical types. I've never tried a an antidepressant with any action on dopamine receptors.

So I'm just curious whether there's any known link here. I'd like to try bupropion (an NDRI) but my psychiatrist won't prescribe it because it's not licensed for depression in the UK. But I have read that anhedonia is believed to be related to dopamine.",7.223473451327436,9.058174566371685,7.879811946902658,63.72644358407084,64.39823008849558,12.729646017699116,40.67367256637168,12.161744961471696,6.010859292035399,518,30,81,20,8,172,77,113,0.08800000000000001,0.852,0.06,-0.4861,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,7,0,10,3,0,1,1,13,12,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,10,9,3,5,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,52,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421452549911239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15678602840014372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223434042666894,0.0,0.0,0.18895151937847512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333446275779949,0.0,0.0,0.5256631526510828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193453931326715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894998444687992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934814050238078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775518953164062,0.0,0.0,0.17243361144174388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3486294044084406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34159184625155503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cRaZyMaDlYiNsAnElYmE,2019/02/02,"My journey with mental health issues. A year ago as part of my healing process, I started a blog. It's helped me immensely, and is slowly bringing awareness. It's my thoughts and experiences out there for anyone that needs to feel they are not alone. I invite you all to visit madlymental.ca. The whole website is my own, and it reflects my personality. It's a place that explores the dark difficult side as well as the lighter, more whimsical side of my life. I've learned that my mental illness does not define me, I DO! ",4.501439393939397,6.456164939393942,5.088775252525256,80.61982954545458,71.32323232323233,7.374242424242425,31.566919191919194,8.07648339933343,2.3457161616161613,415,19,76,6,8,133,68,99,0.073,0.87,0.057,-0.3618,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,4,4,0,0,1,14,9,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,5,1,0,4,2,1,1,0,1,1,14,1,10,8,5,11,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,53,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048083604003995,0.0,0.0,0.23929400178112234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155275257624507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20218993322962395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260073464384808,0.0,0.0,0.11682381225787634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455911200848009,0.0,0.0,0.1548652801328251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411520221724547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319464010686546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4656801006381683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131769976096328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502003295077803,0.0,0.0,0.20174047693034133,0.2413939201993086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353556548860085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342473554123864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20773812374098533,0.0,0.0,0.2579546354776313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878606478222572
mentalhealth,lonleyskeleton42,2019/02/02,"Lack of dopamine activities. Feeling worn out. Over the past few weeks I've given up video games, porn (cut down masturbation habits), weed, and stopped watching all my gaming YouTube content. In their places I've been reading, writing, exercising, listening to more podcasts. I feel almost worn out and bored out of my mind 24/7. Reading through 12 Rules for life helps but I find reading boring in general.

My issue is I know I'm on a better path, but it feels so tiring and bleak. I've continued to try to go out with women, I've thought of many things to do like paintballing and rock climbing just to get that surge of dopamine going. Anything I can think of is to far or too expensive for I've been an idiot for the past two years, and haven't accomplished much which further inhibits me. Now my concentration seems to slip away faster, I'm feeling more numb. I'd assume it's because I'm on a dopamine crash is my best estimation. Is there anything I can do to ride this out?

​

TDLR; I've pulled the rug from under all my bad enjoyments, is there anything I can do to help my feeling of bleakness,",4.632610465116279,6.1457632232558215,4.688764534883724,85.38012354651165,70.25581395348837,7.421511627906978,31.11191860465116,7.8658589789855275,2.0381220930232558,883,38,172,11,16,274,135,215,0.139,0.745,0.116,-0.5497,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,4,6,10,2,0,6,0,14,5,0,0,2,34,33,9,0,1,4,0,5,1,0,0,4,1,1,1,6,11,0,1,11,8,1,5,1,6,0,1,6,7,15,4,35,27,8,30,0,0,1,1,8,17,0,4,9,99,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034039773711293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185291804605933,0.17029809663673887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459955543051969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167593005102315,0.0,0.11701974393924128,0.08543439325072667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707921583557715,0.1239516544547314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543213089087862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280949419141986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322280828165365,0.0,0.15930142326748678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878797402709786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628062291535773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702300382196117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098992384124435,0.06847041437634939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209052515510676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151196857284434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030266822599309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675788623671937,0.0,0.0,0.14642735605792653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42056503047260907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758767577107186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717202396310525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310970940340334,0.08980272805815236,0.0,0.11126377598388616,0.0,0.1610822871497518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515293329064943,0.0,0.1369065925592847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242021061227606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029809663673887,0.09025227340579513
mentalhealth,jeontrv,2019/02/02,"I’ve hated myself since my step-dad joined the family (Just a quick warning this will be all over the place since I’m freaking out while writing this) I’ll preface this saying I’ve buried a lot of this so some details are hard to come by but I need to get this off my chest, and I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub but I really need to let it out.

My mom introduced me to my step-dad when I was around 5 I think, and honestly it was the worst day of my life. Even at that age I knew something was off about him but I just didn’t know what, until it started happening. When he would pick me up on Tuesdays from school we’d come home and he’d go to bed, often asking me to join him, and from there it got a lot worse. He would touch me in my groin area and ask me to give him oral sex. He’d refer to this as “tickling” so that if I ever brought it up when my mom was around, she wouldn’t know. This went on to the age of 12, and by then I knew it was so so wrong. I remember one instance I was 10 or so, and I was begging for an iPod since every other kid at my school had one and he told me one night when my mom was in bed, and I was laying down in my own bed that if I let him do this to me for one more night he’d get me one, and that was the night he raped me. 

I’m honestly feeling sick to my stomach writing about this so I’ll just skip to the mental health part. I’ve been so messed up since then, I’ve been in an abusive relationship and I thought it was okay because it was better than what my step-dad had done to me. I’ve buried everything so deeply and it’s repressed. I can’t even talk to a therapist about this because they’re legally required to contact the police and I’ve already tried to tell them but they didn’t believe me and I was in the system for half a year only to be put right back at home with no hope of anything. I’m 18 now, and I’m still at home. 

I recently discovered through a fight my mom and I had that she actually believed me, but the cops, my step-dads mom and sister all told her it couldn’t have happened. I feel so lost, I feel like garbage and even still my mom says some things that really hurt. 

I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve thought about suicide so many times because I feel fucking worthless because of what he did. I’m trapped in a hell hole where I have to live with my abuser and I have to pretend that everything is okay and I just can’t anymore. My mental health is declining and I just feel so lost, I just need to reach out to somebody... Anybody. I feel like I’m just drowning in all of this. There isn’t a day I don’t think about what happened to me and I can’t take it anymore.",1.5445117114420412,2.6537208278829603,3.024681957644244,95.87328425503256,77.38209982788295,6.153722966399761,22.613223078649998,6.498293943080001,0.2165677317967516,2055,58,506,16,46,674,226,581,0.16,0.782,0.058,-0.9969,0,1,1,0,2,2,46.0,1,0,2,4,43,22,5,1,20,2,50,9,2,1,4,87,98,51,2,11,17,7,8,2,0,4,4,2,6,1,37,31,0,2,17,2,0,6,12,14,0,6,33,10,74,8,72,52,11,63,1,4,0,3,40,30,2,10,28,337,111,4,0.0,0.152884293464593,0.06295932783456744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119616190382516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19195071294132385,0.0,0.0,0.05309202965451437,0.114867694380049,0.12062945316537264,0.0,0.0,0.049609624110364535,0.0,0.15731596375306006,0.0,0.0,0.14537722965480052,0.0,0.05706008212086908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115144062221917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321631148910183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602333541714125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783869642127765,0.05835935958477185,0.054358391809892034,0.0,0.11596751736590527,0.0,0.060820926813437086,0.0,0.195730534513127,0.09218197764334624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059644967172045975,0.06741498485117357,0.061890627054626314,0.03666652265998517,0.0,0.05160017349166971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711566256898395,0.0,0.05779459860509874,0.06369722352632437,0.0,0.13715720073623014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194147565314196,0.06407998166364957,0.0,0.0,0.06906682952113785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637063964843327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194609643940547,0.045570295873249365,0.06303953721878375,0.0,0.05696973148447217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085594872897822,0.1097001665936836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541015583546593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003601070764034,0.0,0.0,0.453369490082527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351571095691576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816346246745165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185920922059,0.04906811888873097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986567105260201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740657878397603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648574485206954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266254033596247,0.0,0.0637027971369804,0.06926715997088577,0.07308523352539267,0.1101944053972084,0.0,0.10261308515199953,0.0,0.1305893849985751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21347666058656767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049668372162222266,0.0,0.07222154819496307,0.04566549551035882,0.0,0.1030467886794082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057117413203258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04850878752386746,0.051856355764060405,0.05639073978906312,0.0,0.0,0.07490926024221395,0.042862256967685454,0.08267983287867524,0.0,0.10243865195098548,0.03762040694137525,0.0,0.0,0.12329759990769586,0.0,0.043802837578008486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05980794576337575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574837924898372,0.09166211334368833,0.07053925909497097,0.0,0.04154686078845818
mentalhealth,undergroundman646,2019/02/02,"My recent nightmare Please not that Concordia is now paying for downvotes and comments. Please ignore people who don't normally comment on r/mentalhealth. This is my honest and heartbreaking story. I'm am not an angel, I hope that still gives me the right to share

[https://theundergroundman646.wordpress.com/2019/01/30/bell-lets-talk-my-nightmare-econcordia/](https://theundergroundman646.wordpress.com/2019/01/30/bell-lets-talk-my-nightmare-econcordia/)",23.43234693877551,30.1426823877551,12.30586734693878,28.654311224489817,31.244897959183675,8.981632653061224,30.617346938775512,9.516144504307137,3.327689795918368,403,9,33,5,4,96,42,49,0.141,0.6779999999999999,0.18,0.2946,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,7,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,3,7,0,5,1,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,23,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651103476215796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744885134131908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707747906029615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19159369925767225,0.0,0.0,0.6067220767054372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728728322391338,0.0,0.0,0.2360105116968877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22070199695967768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442564943109822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hopeless20y0,2019/02/02,"I feel hopeless, I feel like my dad is the only one who cares about me! I feel trapped in my parents house! I’m still studying a useless course. I can’t leave coz I’m broke. Nobody has been able to fix me from the time I was a kid! I just want to gain independence! I don’t want my mum telling me anything! And I want to be strong enough to not give a fuck about anything my mum says! Coz she has never once in my life said anything good about me! Can anybody please suggest a book that might help me with that?? ",0.6361050875729788,2.5749842201834916,1.6983986655546277,100.53507089241036,82.94495412844037,4.3306088407005845,20.91826522101752,4.851557810540192,-0.4927871559633026,396,12,96,1,11,124,70,109,0.111,0.649,0.239,0.9213,1,1,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,2,5,8,1,0,6,0,10,2,0,3,1,15,22,1,0,3,2,4,3,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,3,5,19,4,11,17,1,5,0,3,0,1,13,2,1,1,4,56,22,1,0.17998033331828386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4443254370080838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835019448784153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859677960935161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730103929889853,0.128577986084353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638891798829994,0.0,0.17265353570456884,0.0,0.15095896447829954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063702360064395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20767314002718887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905731858754518,0.0,0.0,0.12712543207350982,0.0879292997015224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909306915944685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881192849066068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19167318106133116,0.1219593317841062,0.1368831537129866,0.0,0.0,0.19984686091351445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756435890374435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120251206730774,0.14312758493632366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373252667805586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731074427448855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494797972139172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31847119116229944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ekh91,2019/02/02,"Positive Progress! Not having used Reddit much recently, coming back this evening I realised that there were a few subs I no longer wanted or needed to see (like r/suicidewatch) and having unsubscribed, I really started thinking about the past few months and how much progress I have made. 

I have moved out of my parent's, I got a job, I've been dating and socialising more, I have been sleeping better, and I finally think I accept myself. I have a lot yet to figure out but I can't believe how different things are and it makes me prou nod! Yes, proud!!! 

It's never easy to work your way out of mental illness but seeking support and seeking acceptance for my situation, my life and my self has been the catalyst for change. ",5.094999999999999,6.554569369565217,5.610840579710146,79.41495652173914,69.07246376811594,8.708405797101449,29.74202898550725,9.120678840339163,2.5780846376811613,575,22,104,11,10,185,95,138,0.058,0.7559999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.9517,3,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,1,0,5,7,6,0,0,5,1,13,3,1,5,1,29,25,12,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,11,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,6,1,18,6,11,19,6,15,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,2,10,77,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372446397175298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010924882510572,0.0,0.15785627392599474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888144156692756,0.15374979851030346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18647977656950845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178882535188795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955225789780234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427514791176716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711971478784674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260698695283742,0.08719919500200594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174232934731735,0.0,0.1688876740588568,0.11914072412425933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798718067302023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246574241581078,0.189702264840954,0.2624153465002707,0.13234503316176752,0.13765932928102295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19818746941566487,0.0,0.17038498751974288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434263784488873,0.0,0.17623329341528285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223015354343144,0.0,0.18619971988542974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006256297120307,0.17861480024526358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633323858489556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254368401089196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118578100933064,0.2287331153748582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415451048187906,0.0,0.0,0.10527560814938704,0.1416737994764336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299398608570503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beckyboo777,2019/02/02,"Therapy and self worth So in therapy yesterday, we got into the same routine of discussing how I think I let everyone down and how much guilt and negative self-worth I get from this. My therapist brought up the fact that I seem to tie my self-worth a lot to what I’m doing and if I’m meeting goals and that I’m often aiming at a moving and far away target. We then got into looking at some thing we can tie self-worth to that are outside of that. He then asked me what I liked about myself and it took me a good 10 minutes to come up with 2 things that I wasn’t all that confident about. Do any of y’all have tips to find more things you like about yourself? Whenever I try and think about it I’m just flooded with all the things I don’t like about myself and I can’t dig past all of them. To find anything I actually like. ",2.6805944055944053,3.66231422727273,3.97068181818182,90.70823426573428,74.3409090909091,7.460839160839161,24.33391608391609,7.882392219407189,1.009937587412587,648,19,149,9,13,213,97,176,0.035,0.851,0.114,0.906,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,3,2,1,1,10,6,0,1,6,0,9,0,0,2,4,34,24,15,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,15,17,0,0,5,0,1,4,4,1,0,0,5,1,22,5,27,18,8,18,0,0,1,0,11,10,0,5,8,105,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.12985518492641934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049081160911987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950363617320327,0.0,0.12440062884345066,0.0,0.1250217780921831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146263101375704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715218846576426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24324350542308676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695225443612064,0.0,0.0,0.11161113553137282,0.21285329121055813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607105843378225,0.0,0.2600412375662809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174361648014873,0.0,0.0,0.11312966568601598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414302383102082,0.09782030020280727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127028474908312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114012091175205,0.5552758324476293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043497386142336,0.15450221875007406,0.3536178988141347,0.1705292187419298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478434581151369,0.09034444568627094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ughaleah,2019/02/02,"Lost in my own head I feel like I don’t exist at this time. I blink and it feels like I’ve been gone, somewhere, for weeks. It’s a weird feeling, and it’s kind of scary to feel like I don’t know where or who I am sometimes. I’ve also been feeling like I can’t trust my own emotions. Like they’re not real. Example: I love my boyfriend. I know I do. But I feel like it’s fake and maybe I really don’t. Maybe I’m just loving him because that’s how it’s supposed to be. Same thing with my mom. Sometimes I feel like I could just go away and break everything off, even friendships, and I’ll be just fine because I feel nothing. I feel empty and stuck in the middle of nowhere. It’s like I’m just blank. Even when I’m happy, if I realize that I’m feeling okay, it snaps back to me questioning why I feel like that and if it’s even real and then leads me back to feeling empty and alone. Ive kind of just agreed with myself to just live every day how a normal person would. Even though at the end of the day, I always feel like I’m stuck in a dream loop. ",0.1888819875776377,1.9727512987013007,2.01699981178242,98.49022021456804,83.63203463203463,4.883192170148694,18.268586485977792,5.7926816847441245,-0.5271157161678901,814,19,199,5,23,268,110,231,0.092,0.67,0.238,0.9801,0,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,18,21,0,0,6,1,13,3,1,3,0,48,40,19,0,5,11,1,13,10,0,1,0,0,0,1,14,11,0,0,17,1,0,3,5,3,0,0,6,13,27,18,19,30,3,22,0,1,0,2,7,9,0,4,19,114,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304701416851812,0.0,0.06412355779893772,0.06671997127059136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075336026745909,0.12331394300969845,0.0,0.09775951812093908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402084062918313,0.0,0.0,0.10342480593700484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019682920607572,0.07101971362794153,0.0,0.0,0.2118445631954716,0.0,0.06755894395441964,0.0,0.07206470560844155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5270683483690726,0.4582708835827689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04557072913512147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535794734107591,0.0,0.0,0.08229248428165394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16699974494519773,0.08813466627853797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3917412215551728,0.0,0.07080442905519127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753091131824035,0.0,0.14473937879413906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111232138336745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939111789713746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856383682236293,0.07693924087455332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001405852756046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982505008542968,0.0,0.0,0.1825351511382663,0.0513682776821128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860914580525134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05327105383041952,0.0,0.07878091587736841,0.0,0.04675625748796186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431921149283233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235408687377905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05696080560833462,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Koshechi,2019/02/02,"Is there a word for what I experience? Have you ever forgotten how to move your hand? You can look at it, see that it's whole. You can feel it, and you know that moving it should be easy. But you've forgotten how. You think as hard as you can at your hand to move, to twitch, anything. But nothing gets through because you don't move your hand by thinking verbally at it. 

When you succeed at moving your hand it will come by accident, and once you can do it again it is so instinctual that you couldn't explain the steps that go into it. You just move your hand to where you want it to be. No verbal comands or breaking a huge task into steps, it just happens. 

I've forgotten how to move parts of my body semi regularly since I was a child. I'm under huge amounts of stress right now and the level oh helplessness if feel when I try to sit down to my desk and work is the same complete shutdown of communication that I feel when I forget how to move. Its more than procrastination, it's complete stillness and inability to communicate a thought into action.

I tried to explain it to my partner and I guess it's the first time I've ever talked about forgetting how to move before. Is there a word for this? I know it's mental, not physical. Is it something really wrong with my brain that I just loose contact?",2.3118250950570385,4.458983954372627,3.5880851711026622,88.0750707224335,78.27756653992395,6.641460076045628,23.827984790874524,7.699297019823105,1.1139820228136887,1032,35,215,16,25,336,132,263,0.108,0.79,0.102,0.5215,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,17,0,3,21,4,0,1,9,0,18,8,7,5,2,45,37,21,0,4,8,0,9,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,25,11,0,0,10,0,0,14,4,3,0,1,2,11,30,1,35,30,5,40,0,1,2,0,23,14,0,3,10,154,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186528072223247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323565500683825,0.0,0.07431153404573207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700412065772272,0.0,0.09748934045135237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522720015580653,0.18312802260621747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579902590509732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542565388819152,0.0,0.0,0.13247025872086288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428298953929026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04562640421491864,0.0,0.04963174248969169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962040170017216,0.0,0.07722577213385616,0.0,0.07823067002734194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598874418228356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333533979238324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800826107341331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8353632555570164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379564389052459,0.0,0.0,0.09300377032192228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457005308922994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055945936754667726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457947953225888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959083089845994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224041085135811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672310237842059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974197863747103,0.0,0.10003640329750024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019267465317712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191528066563634,0.0,0.06933039221866209,0.05092291862488008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858289236475895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051509591053203685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750100497359243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357739662504927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548182071369236,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,marzipanjoyboy,2019/02/02,"What are some strategies to deal with self-hate? Especially involuntary thoughts or verbally abusing yourself My confidence is taking shots to the solar plexus at the moment. I'm applying for jobs at the moment and the rejections are really hard to deal with. I can't help feeling inadequate and i'm being really severe in blaming myself for not being good enough. This has resulted in regular, self-hating thoughts and quite often now, like every hour, i'll remember something I've done, something stupid i said, or negative thought and say something ""you're such an asshole"", ""I fucking hate myself"", or something like that. The only strategy I've got at the moment is just inverting it and reaffirming that i'm not that awful, you don't deserve this, etc. I'm not sure how successful that's really being, so i'm seeing if you guys have any relevant tips. Thanks for any suggestions.",8.328888888888889,8.470357074074073,8.474444444444448,66.36500000000001,61.5925925925926,12.138271604938273,37.753086419753096,11.645159339076185,4.8045382716049385,714,32,113,20,9,234,101,162,0.202,0.706,0.092,-0.9574,1,0,4,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,2,6,10,3,0,7,1,12,1,0,2,1,25,28,11,0,1,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,8,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,5,8,6,13,19,3,10,0,1,1,1,9,5,1,6,7,70,16,2,0.0,0.16416854397248473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884483495892356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856943776611535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179291538733893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316742772372698,0.15452876899187698,0.0,0.0,0.1167410704381159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005907568788937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809461579111345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621585613311013,0.11081747063594702,0.0,0.0,0.13719417994329,0.0,0.0,0.1241207306186836,0.1367973152039763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928724903986369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645169563240206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749741098213053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538485613375026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537958414017626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737346253770278,0.0,0.0,0.2662913615354073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695917614364316,0.0,0.13180036429636088,0.11018686354350547,0.0,0.0,0.11041276742816096,0.0,0.28909237394053466,0.15653107352004691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266747959295862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305892522799264,0.0,0.10417835393284892,0.0,0.0,0.12756556812357808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299986667602093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xxdownpourxx,2019/02/02,"I start crying basically out of nowhere Hey guys
For like 2 months or so I‘m crying a lot. Like about 3 times a week and idk why. 
I‘m usually not a very emotional person. I usually never cried.
I feel like i can‘t control my emotions anymore. Not even a little. 
What‘s wrong with me?",-0.2968668831168806,1.5918208392857167,1.7775974025974044,91.38558441558443,108.46428571428572,4.893506493506494,19.37662337662337,6.574015621080383,0.6419142857142863,221,8,44,4,11,73,44,56,0.206,0.63,0.165,-0.3396,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,10,5,3,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,6,3,5,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,10,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705789857458447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18893186086520827,0.0,0.0,0.5551057790536453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37896888408553137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112601440932455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517377008294448,0.12034126288648528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667927449009702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24688961057136566,0.1688319239392006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321081977453756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445579653952414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991961755658146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708471386431718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923032116572015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822499793060964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710494465686211,0.13898952584901308,0.0,0.0,0.1351210459350495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200061799809153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18417447183459348,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zensama,2019/02/02,"The liars and cheats are the ones who get ahead in this world To really succeed on some level in this hyper competitive culture, one has to either lie to themselves about how they feel, or manipulate others into believing they are something that they are not.

You do this enough times and you have those most skilled at these actions rising up and then expecting that from people below them. This is a big reason i cannot function in the world, in almost any capacity, as it is not industry specific.

The reason mental health is so stigmatised is because it undermines your ability to be productive and those that are open about show an unwillingness to maintain the lie that we can all function in a similar way.",15.654618320610687,9.149158259541988,13.75654580152672,54.76626908396946,54.190839694656496,17.374809160305347,50.30725190839695,13.816669648895859,6.549578625954197,576,23,96,14,4,184,90,131,0.063,0.883,0.055,-0.2748,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,1,3,4,3,4,3,2,0,8,0,14,1,0,4,1,21,16,9,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,15,7,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,2,0,2,0,1,9,1,20,15,5,21,0,0,0,0,10,15,0,4,3,83,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255444408108553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347580190063097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550574437536996,0.0,0.0,0.2874087762407281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635850553699181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898552162292684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13327849445453518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711578925379673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570793981523297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457228390772188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17685325564833174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342270117075575,0.5245677135622593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19638737228532632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14875005042224385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20248540205072535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,annalikesbooks,2019/02/02,"I Don't Know What To Do At This Point (F,18) I haven't been diagnosed with any mental illness, though my family does have a history of certain mental illnesses and I have suspected that I have an anxiety disorder since I was about 11 and had my first (of many) panic attacks and depression since I was 14 and suicidal. I have been able to deal with these issues until about a year ago. I stopped being able to sleep (unable to fall asleep until I've been awake for so long I pass out) and it's ruining my life. I have constant headaches, memory loss, and feel terrible and exhausted all the time. 

My mom said in passing that she thinks I might be depressed and I think that might be true. I feel empty all the time, started failing my classes, and have no motivation to do anything. The thing is I'm a senior in high school, live at home, and don't currently have a valid license. There is no way for me to go to the doctor or therapist on my own. My mom suggested taking me a few times but she never followed through. I tried to bring it up once but she said they would just tell me to exercise more. I told her telling my aunt on the phone that she doesn't want them to give me medications I don't need. She knows bad my lack of sleep is getting and has seen me have panic attacks (which have become more frequent in the past year.)

I feel like my health, mental and physical, is deteriorating and I don't know what to do at this point. I'm too embarrassed to ask her to take me to the doctor and I don't want to be a burden. I've tried everything I can, exercise, sleep supplements, good sleep hygiene, etc. and nothing has helped.

I don't even know what I'm asking here. Does anyone have advice?",4.3172506021041945,5.04891638483965,5.225503866142732,84.16006844974015,70.28279883381924,8.880669286348079,27.74103181645329,9.085049710711278,2.0232130561541384,1332,44,280,25,23,436,176,343,0.177,0.787,0.036000000000000004,-0.9896,2,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,2,4,9,18,2,3,14,0,41,16,5,1,5,46,70,22,1,5,4,3,3,1,0,3,11,2,1,0,14,18,0,1,11,2,0,6,11,14,0,1,10,6,46,4,37,53,8,38,0,5,1,0,24,13,0,3,19,189,60,7,0.17259722049834644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433000315291075,0.0764985110257056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868601427487925,0.0,0.06601820063093396,0.0,0.0,0.060341994828854,0.0,0.07101640311693402,0.0,0.16135510225382768,0.19635425526063344,0.0,0.0,0.07205573486270138,0.0,0.09531003488274872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325813953639624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889700778076377,0.1486577331060411,0.08759127283143607,0.0,0.0,0.09890568390651594,0.17666056875050132,0.15104099077024685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624576243521343,0.0569994181680015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755962632544515,0.0,0.08135464936329335,0.0,0.1309055109752739,0.061651744405287014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340555379228125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508746201140815,0.08278549056557759,0.049045488956858764,0.07238317986717561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173138718992394,0.0,0.0,0.05784413935338939,0.09117921985073724,0.08656454243850813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007332801730072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897098371572476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095526057210091,0.04216114185656726,0.0,0.07620325391385285,0.0763715544116258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874932456901833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869367707517742,0.2609061044442436,0.18309837563615916,0.0,0.20214377863075916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398932601404199,0.06655880836472859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280584402047099,0.0,0.0,0.09190520343341672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025056501061885,0.0,0.0,0.08238178837412513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631601617228082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417948105972366,0.0,0.0,0.08733880083507738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277420436669555,0.0,0.3454437362936549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061082600510874115,0.0,0.0,0.07214950236427893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094396672781366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977162982563628,0.0,0.15085757824599288,0.0,0.0,0.10019933796409396,0.05733296201193435,0.11059332972502922,0.08478794640783603,0.0,0.15096424089399854,0.0,0.0,0.08246202033878024,0.0,0.11718218313927035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180231248971026,0.0684998199461288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130405669292367,0.0,0.0,0.11114695117877853
mentalhealth,Sylthaya,2019/02/02,"Worried about someone I’m worried that someone I recently met need mental help, all he talks about is wanting to fuck my aunts dead dog, what should I do?
U/chucksawdy , what’s goin on man ",3.7039639639639645,5.478546243243244,3.890270270270271,89.1382882882883,73.05405405405405,6.014414414414415,31.25225225225225,6.42735559955562,1.6009171171171177,149,7,29,1,3,46,31,37,0.29100000000000004,0.644,0.064,-0.8591,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,4,8,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,6,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,1,0,1,14,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26872730481012763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948354650325714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29293524954862016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21553419638416935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870096471695291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4925813780158913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336361202371849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144952900195268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5903956281723779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tetrahydrocannabiol,2019/02/02,"I started to remember that my father used to sexually abuse me when i was about 7, and i dont know how to cope with it and the additional shit it brought into my life. I really want to think that this is just my minds creation, but there are certain things in my life that really makes sense if this is real.

1. Im 22/m and i have never been in a relationship, never had sex or kissed anyone. No matter how i try, there is something like an invisble barrier that makes it impossible for me to get intimate with a girl on any level. Im afraid of sex. Otherwise im socially active, most people like me and i like most people. I have plenty of friends and i have no problem with any social skill.
2. I am fat. Like obese. I used to be a regular kid with normal body, no eating problems, i was on the streets all the time playing with friends, running around all day. Than when i was about 7-8, i strated to eat a lot, gained a lot of weight. I was (and still am) obsessed whith food. I went to therapy, but everyone came to the same conclusion. It is a protective behaviour, some kind of mental protection, but noone had a clue why. 
3. I sometimes fantasize about penises. I am not gay in any ways. I wouldnt mind if i were, but im not, cause im not attracted to men at all.
4. I sometimes like to hurt myself for sexual pleasure. Other times it disgusts me. It usually happens when i feel low.

I am not angry. Im just disgusted and hurt. I want to leave it all behind, with all the shit it brought to my life. 

I live with my father and we run a business together. Again, im not angry, just want to leave it all behind. 

Any idea how to get over it? I cant afford a therapy at the moment.",0.7132725868725878,2.8100469542857134,3.2031891891891893,88.94564864864866,83.74285714285716,6.755212355212357,22.31660231660232,7.917944638633933,1.1769359073359071,1294,45,282,26,37,448,173,350,0.146,0.6970000000000001,0.157,0.5241,1,0,1,0,1,2,53.0,1,0,0,3,17,24,4,2,16,0,24,17,5,8,9,76,42,21,0,9,15,2,2,5,2,1,5,0,0,3,18,20,6,3,6,1,0,6,13,11,0,0,12,2,38,13,44,28,12,34,0,3,0,5,11,13,2,8,19,190,56,0,0.0,0.09258007934844582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21254453180725288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05463550897809219,0.0,0.0,0.06955888024390702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679307171251846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936840572988873,0.0,0.08026866622518344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039217924979498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157648792746734,0.0,0.0,0.15990819916746604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466366442391299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039508633196811804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448409247899996,0.0,0.12073757169064415,0.0,0.08164716604117822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690966727333018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16729547326307606,0.08820764938394436,0.5908128422403461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136811092567334,0.04294228895081615,0.0,0.0,0.16547251587315573,0.0,0.0,0.16557233626571258,0.1908700110896588,0.0,0.0689967836691291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285930029343435,0.0,0.0,0.10431468471379457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874415295811135,0.0,0.15779306292703266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052880857837922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655809284506758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834131333744924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495339387492789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893750365024197,0.10011367904473288,0.0,0.0,0.08389035944796054,0.0885144780493434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604139013963333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930254292612234,0.0,0.06015401231456927,0.1545598356924809,0.0,0.055306076275444566,0.0,0.06240065383009119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871392561613034,0.0,0.051911037572225184,0.05006731113419919,0.0,0.0,0.09112512949042627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053050186997767486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497130621226633,0.08605734176192806,0.0,0.1382624449307026,0.062021856225986736,0.0,0.0951503413728102,0.0,0.07243418194195611,0.07050687854168194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stevenchamp45,2019/02/02,"Is it possible to overload your prefrontal cortex so much it temporarily ""breaks""? I've read off people overworking their frontal cortex through const media exposure leading to ADHD symptoms, I did this so much that finding else happened.

Essentially, I was trying to explain how our universe lying inside a functional multiverse, as well as how religions make sense due to principals such as quantum mechanics, collective unconscious gravitational fields and magnetic waves, the whole nine yards of existence in a couple paragraphs. 

Basically, I was getting so worked up by the thinking of the topic at hand in itself that I suddenly became blind to the outside world and was one minded on building and completing the concept in my head, and my typing started to become less of an explanation and more of a vague narration of what was going on in my head.

 The thoughts got so intense, that I momentarily felt a ""pop"" and then wasn't thinking about anything and temporarily ceised to function, it taking me a full minute to type out a word. I've had a headache since then.",13.769794832826747,10.276214930851065,12.395987841945288,54.02500000000003,53.946808510638284,15.42370820668693,51.325227963525826,13.25671669890799,6.827003647416415,869,46,128,22,7,279,127,188,0.056,0.906,0.038,-0.5002,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,1,1,2,9,1,0,0,14,0,8,5,3,4,0,20,20,18,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,9,8,0,0,6,2,0,2,1,0,1,2,10,3,12,1,29,10,6,20,0,0,1,0,4,12,0,0,5,97,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188076287834094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519288574327454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039014096189596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19357352367423056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20428164877375768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422868339654516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17726686862448104,0.0,0.16874192103727073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645780815815684,0.0,0.104925408390179,0.0,0.14765974201655382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326135801245972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789525726082904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232371720180358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641642729923272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27143804466974386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510520704816136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799422348885767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20813449967656406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18467279062062653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272191203900154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067698865792102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918938102131571,0.1388133908593631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23659770823847906,0.0,0.1465699037043742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534678197169086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16599809563633286,0.0,0.0,0.20612479538536974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344076184037504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Khaydii,2019/02/02,"advice for the depressed So ive been very depressed and unproductive the past year or so, and i feel like my depression was making me stay in bed until 1 or if i had an appt or work, (i usually worked nights). but i was trying to overcome it, i would never eat or do anything good for myself. if i had work i would lay in bed for as long as a could because everything was just too much. 

then i enrolled for 2 classes at my local community college. an 8am fitness class 2x a week and an 11am art class 2x a week also. 

anyways, they started this week and ive been doing good getting up and going. while today was friday it was my day off from school and work, normally id stay in bed all day, but today i got up, took a shower, went grocery shopping and made an early dinner for my family and boyfriend. 

the point is, when people say getting in a routine will help you get productive, its true. and i recommend doing it.

for one having a job is a good distraction, without my job idk what id do, u HAVE to go and get out of bed and can focus on something else other than ur thoughts. great way to make friends or have normal social interaction 

schools harder, i havent been in a year due to my problems so taking the step to enroll was big for me and im glad the first week went good. i wouldve never got up put of bed and done something with my life if i wasnt already use to it

idk, its just something that helps me ive realized and its staying busy. yea i can lay in bed and soak up my sadness and smoke weed all day but time isnt stopping for anyone",3.4158548790658902,3.947880094801224,4.893668334723382,86.45116138448708,72.21100917431194,7.413344453711426,27.09605226577704,7.348242739294969,1.2868360856269114,1209,40,262,12,22,407,175,327,0.052000000000000005,0.794,0.154,0.988,3,0,4,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,5,9,15,0,1,17,1,33,3,0,4,5,51,52,37,0,9,14,0,1,1,1,3,1,1,7,0,11,18,2,1,3,2,1,7,6,6,0,2,20,2,31,9,37,28,3,56,0,4,0,0,9,18,0,8,28,171,42,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721947009601254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849569591364384,0.07137761442664739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240954128705396,0.0,0.0734496954393865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05440934213951892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126327725027408,0.0,0.0,0.17268729715847092,0.0,0.23062696944893624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913393951943057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913306890037588,0.07456154159856307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021711438435512,0.0,0.08414216935871692,0.0,0.04513027737474181,0.06376416787004871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075920707512106,0.0,0.0,0.06895860042547931,0.0,0.18652932041178885,0.0,0.10145194823864784,0.29945321265704283,0.14277160064308758,0.09840453600484336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196521995478756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096411287824621,0.0,0.17714468068567704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630438198493,0.04360574307942125,0.0,0.0,0.0789883346039087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445573980496189,0.11915751759724726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656130838095746,0.0,0.13767873304279127,0.0,0.0,0.0837602677866114,0.17490293567826834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06048185651390502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520450206226547,0.0618785456042739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437532499814596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540548718902767,0.0,0.08972645935406816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097957924715863,0.0,0.18066272128186664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098477177056292,0.0,0.20613980094704087,0.0,0.0,0.06317552293914476,0.28540355479366963,0.0,0.07462161898053014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710904994491995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085892021818224,0.05204561683045093,0.0,0.16920761054791333,0.0,0.09916617703988016,0.0605986454166774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708811966041812,0.09830235544980008,0.07364515915687833,0.0,0.07084688454879308,0.28638160674468544,0.0,0.0,0.16548153949890562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603914502471466,0.0,0.2599163530433022,0.0,0.0,0.12680913410610153,0.0,0.0,0.11495526885042967
mentalhealth,Lala_am,2019/02/02,"Does Anyone Ever Have An “Anger” attack? It hasn’t happened in a while. But for a long time I would feel so angry, for no reason whatsoever, and feel like I could hit someone or punch a home in the wall (thankfully I never did either lol). It would feel like a fire in my chest, one that made me so frustrated and upset. Is this normal? Has anyone else ever felt this way before? ",2.999649122807013,4.45436457894737,4.4105263157894745,86.00201754385971,74.26315789473685,6.64561403508772,19.24561403508772,7.1686216300943375,0.3214192982456137,292,5,59,3,6,97,57,76,0.27,0.6729999999999999,0.057,-0.9622,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,1,6,1,8,1,1,2,3,18,16,7,0,4,3,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,5,5,3,5,9,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,8,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26566671582600665,0.1946495235626655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612141876278346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165281082637473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167777583077466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624642625275854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15869784871759224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34368244158517297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881677783686453,0.2714331289104988,0.18240362350288572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799226787583654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905581491119573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562217116416355,0.0,0.0,0.16811989809592714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797568013153643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651868965968196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18613295159570245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873044614447451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19532361813323504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609632873516925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749013766908721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077463326391107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079151966533053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699023698936879,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WatchTheExpanse2019,2019/02/02,"I feel no emotion I am not affected by anything. I feel if the whole world dropped dead, as in no single person was left other than me on this planet, even then I wouldn't feel anything.

How do I get out of this? Any suggestions are welcome. I can't afford a doctor for therapy but I can buy a book which costs upto 15$. And people don't consider this as a problem where I live so talking about this hasn't been helpful.",2.7039408866995096,4.189077850574717,4.1766830870279135,87.25448275862068,75.0919540229885,6.810509031198686,26.221674876847292,7.447530270364453,1.3258157635467986,331,12,68,4,7,110,66,87,0.154,0.8059999999999999,0.04,-0.8472,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,2,0,12,14,8,1,3,3,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,3,1,2,0,7,1,0,0,2,3,9,1,10,11,2,8,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,1,52,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686295457288985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081198542745492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538099735063936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789352601926828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637832473587489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761464655918685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955519864478596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662104857991095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26942243521892234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189639260619792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191264622450186,0.2165196914839584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372758306029812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19931059798763964,0.0,0.0,0.2835777315542102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768520177027182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,khamulscience,2019/02/02,"Where can I talk to an online counselor for free, just one short session? This is my only chance I give to society to fix me. I have been relentlessly physically (even by my local clinic psychologist) maltreated. I have no money, nor family support for someone to listen to me seriously (obviously).",6.256698113207547,8.259112358490569,8.279386792452833,59.3032311320755,66.9245283018868,11.337735849056607,34.00471698113208,11.20814326018867,4.793607547169811,237,11,35,8,4,84,42,53,0.111,0.7929999999999999,0.096,0.0366,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,8,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,8,3,8,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711284252934631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869786513812926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39378471597789777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27816239401917786,0.3122003472854507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347811529439537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4658254614842976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299407567510328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chairman707,2019/02/02,"Those in their 20s oe 30s or 40s who has struggled with anxiety and mental health struggles before you even became 20, what do you guys feel when you read posts validating and essentially gatekeeping these issues to those in their 20s only? I see this a lot, especially on twitter. And the intention is really nice so I get it and it's completely understandable. But on the other hand, it keeps reminding me that I guess I was just a fucked up kid who couldn't live a normal life like most people. 

I could just forget it and move on and I do, but when it appears on my feed again, it not only reminds me that I was a fucked up kid, it also reminds me how people tend to constantly dismiss those who are really suffering from mental health issues or chronic disorders and illnesses because what they're experiencing isn't enough to be taken seriously by the grown ups. Which really doesn't help at all.

When quarterlife crisis was just introduced to us at a lecture, I found that it fit me and my friend even told me about it to explain my situation, although not entirely and not exactly. Because the funny thing is, I just turned 18, I hadn't graduated college yet at the time and it's been there even before I entered college so no, I wasn't in the ""real world"" yet and I wasn't stuck in a job I hate. But for most, real struggle only begins when you're ""out there"". None of what I had to deal with was worth looking into, even if it meant I wanted to end my life countless times. I was just a kid, what do I know, right? I saw how my younger cousin was also dealing with similar issues and was crumbling down, but his family and our other relatives just mocked him and dismissed what he was going through, so he would just shut up and didn't do anything. This, is the norm though.

I'm just saying, it would've been nice to hear that sort of support and our struggles to be acknowledged and heard and not just be brushed off. I'm in the ""real world"" now and those internal struggles they talk about that you only get once you're in it? are all too familiar. Idk",5.233065610859729,5.804313279411772,5.974117647058827,80.18083710407244,68.16666666666666,9.218099547511313,29.172699849170428,9.265573868473778,2.3472342383107083,1630,55,321,30,26,534,202,408,0.13699999999999998,0.7909999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9835,1,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,3,4,3,0,34,16,4,5,15,0,33,10,1,3,3,73,63,39,0,6,20,1,2,1,1,1,6,3,0,4,37,24,1,1,7,1,1,5,13,11,0,0,22,10,41,5,41,35,7,45,0,1,3,2,32,26,2,9,14,238,78,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663389932886352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535238603569196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030018005655136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415255029405024,0.0,0.1453863164852945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895699065893621,0.09231760147514904,0.0,0.06820751525441661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614557243130466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097908188560263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566408302414583,0.08827023029421804,0.0,0.2256982434737631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053416179442294,0.0,0.043195095724592375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366767906572387,0.06600166273472934,0.15795410192254333,0.08926548117273207,0.0,0.04855084956853597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410886104411033,0.0845874096585001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434272172569407,0.0,0.18161249382542066,0.09628385917579099,0.0,0.05726076277143735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674947293859409,0.08477436750258778,0.07593256379849217,0.0,0.0,0.04694913824589842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068101468211062,0.04173593330298822,0.0,0.07543471980998634,0.0,0.07173822380016112,0.0,0.0,0.07262805277885905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721831888151494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079672206430037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370155789651011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097831016398727,0.0,0.25988816892938266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845039987151007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181665973358154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545137935972996,0.2917081918178197,0.16418259503446905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295526834308616,0.0,0.06793598219248366,0.0,0.0,0.06807526378914247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602494495893804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4465408356600093,0.0,0.0,0.09694297850600164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866400043495148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05675474081639765,0.0,0.08393283294398192,0.0,0.09962781227198897,0.0,0.0,0.08163036458067137,0.0,0.0,0.0929214169070202,0.0,0.0889338327600539,0.10275967979018476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05038780186047893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137157148365665,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,twdacc,2019/02/02,"Where can I get help if I don't know what's wrong with me? I've been feeling really overwhelmed recently and I've been reading up on mental disorders and I didn't even know most of them existed or what they were.

Is there somewhere I can go (UK) to get checked for these things or do I need to know what I'm asking for? I'm convinced there is something wrong with me but I don't know what or how to go about checking.",0.8399999999999999,2.799921666666666,2.338888888888892,96.10500000000002,82.33333333333334,5.777777777777778,22.222222222222214,6.937597516519254,0.44455555555555604,330,11,77,4,9,107,54,90,0.0,0.8740000000000001,0.126,0.7278,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,0,6,4,0,1,0,0,11,0,0,1,0,17,24,8,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,5,1,2,2,3,3,0,0,4,1,10,1,11,20,1,6,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,5,1,51,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20743111212582369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542977039055125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465519532504644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219095996226808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318499324116751,0.0,0.25220300261895634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872382699320624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4877654558556518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22360637149298004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452379718856713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22194353594197333,0.0,0.1421442460617614,0.0,0.2190831792553084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17081675170930033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740953221169087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4851895313673412,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Iperpict2,2019/02/02,"Just a reminder: Love the ones who dont have alot of time left Hello everyone, I don't know where to put this, but when I was in therapy today, my grandfather passed. he had fallen a week back, when he was outside raking some leaves or something, no one knows how he fell, i was inside playing on my computer. he was found by some gardeners, they took him inside and we got an ambulance. I didn't know what to do with myself, all I could manage was to go up the street and tell his girlfriend of three years. the next day he moved to rehab, after getting x-rayed. I used to live with him, he's the only family member in the city where I go to uni. I can't stand going back home, the old and empty house is too much to bare. I've been sleeping in hospital waiting rooms. Today they were sorting through his permanent care papers and found a paper he signed three years ago, that essentially says he doesn't want to be held on life support. When we would wake up, he would call for my cousin that used to live with him, and ask him how he could get out, and leave. I'd try and tell him the only way to get was to exercise do as the doctors and nurses say, eventually hed be well enough to walk again and go home. That was a lie and I knew it, but I didnt want to admit it, and he knew it to. He eventually did get out of that place, just not the way either of us wanted to. Looking back on the whole thing I cant feel much less than ashamed of myself. all 19 years of my life I had this man to enjoy, make memories with, and take after. All I could manage was to sit there silently and what him die for three days. It makes me feel worse when I realize I had built my current life leeching off of him. Depending on him to pay the bills, take care off the chores while I stayed inside pretending to study, or playing a game, never really appreciating him. Of course I have gratitude for everything that he did for me, he gave me a place to live, while I was studying, I person to be there when my mental health started to take a downturn and I was hallucinating, he payed for my food, and gave my an opportunity to go to the college I had wanted to since I was a child. I wish I had longer to thank him, for everything pay him back, keep him alive, make maybe a memory that isn't dependent upon him leaving this world. yet for all of that I have little to show for. Now I have to move back to the UK, I can't pay my bills, Keep going to college, and take care of his dog, and keep my part time job, all at once. IF THERE IS ONE THING I WANT TO MAKE CLEAR, I AM NOT ASKING FOR MONEY, im asking that for everyone who has an elderly one, or someone competing with life and death, spend time with them, because no one has everyone the race. It all happens so quickly, you tell yourself They're going to go sometime, just not soon. I thought the same thing a week ago, here I am a week later, no memories, no support system, no grandfather. spend time with them, get your nose off of the computer, and go do something with them take a walk, go out to eat, something, no matter how busy you want to tell yourself you are, no matter how boring or unexciting they are. you find something inside of them that's worth hanging onto. If you dont do it today or tomorrow, when theyre gone, you'll find yourself with a lot of time for them, and searching for something to hang on to.

​

TL:DR: spend time with people your close to, when theyre gone, youll wish you were closer",6.2404619225967535,4.901299101123595,6.6744569288389535,82.4363982521848,66.41573033707866,9.877403245942574,30.030586766541823,8.761943790366164,1.998543882646692,2688,73,591,35,36,878,292,712,0.085,0.821,0.095,0.9031,4,0,5,0,0,0,95.0,3,10,8,2,33,14,0,1,34,0,58,14,3,12,8,113,127,44,2,15,16,1,2,0,1,4,8,2,5,3,25,36,2,5,14,7,11,23,21,2,1,8,35,6,84,12,97,81,18,106,0,0,1,1,76,30,0,14,47,395,109,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712885484743727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059360539688224835,0.06657090989300632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365236619219094,0.0,0.0,0.2106350185199711,0.0,0.03339699859940082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055942566959342285,0.0,0.1675737417312034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122633780867612,0.0,0.0,0.07066479388223629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568591528669184,0.0,0.0,0.05607572784543257,0.0,0.0,0.12841741992890507,0.0,0.0,0.0560596907222193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660851797064813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705093138127388,0.0984761348473077,0.0,0.05164730543916227,0.0,0.05540283160968759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014670750090293,0.0,0.066247372306347,0.12013990392881647,0.0,0.0,0.14311695399123006,0.0,0.3113611045456544,0.0,0.043817318489945335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844702302358726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058234888966206586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099095232666606,0.0,0.0,0.06321561542482533,0.0,0.0,0.05917821311253527,0.0,0.0543665887154133,0.1460887738034786,0.0,0.0,0.09032675435106932,0.0,0.0,0.17403118997973074,0.05952508068958684,0.0,0.15478770964067134,0.0,0.05490990150626282,0.14513095789172753,0.0,0.0460063887636623,0.0,0.0,0.046577044346677414,0.04944644699338634,0.0,0.14628015306999742,0.0,0.055039837296763976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521133855546507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645756118503214,0.08054793467165074,0.0,0.042254291945001216,0.0,0.058265465373439365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748862473808486,0.058345234726261075,0.18562184340554014,0.08333434744738319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932783075855036,0.0,0.037981670419387416,0.04783696686578639,0.11447928683309147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055074998512075465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03509727402053757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713595186006327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04531949310500718,0.0,0.054825502598913715,0.0,0.046419946506367785,0.21088445393120372,0.05418469241795048,0.0,0.03877776808447343,0.05839451918181489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434086379050975,0.0,0.0,0.20596103158815254,0.0,0.191541294381106,0.05043952992921398,0.06265249343032002,0.0,0.10919202616949454,0.0,0.0,0.043493914210788714,0.1916767221262592,0.0,0.15579198654854162,0.0,0.0608691916769809,0.03719605487816429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590073641670055,0.0946349183097177,0.0,0.0,0.19388499005471954,0.08697305319298881,0.1318379217141778,0.0,0.049259136755136525,0.0,0.0,0.06116654197501593,0.12600224721935593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583155014421659,0.07783671530659217,0.0,0.06657090989300632,0.10584104131273064
mentalhealth,johnfm12,2019/02/03,"I’ve reached my breaking point, I need to get it out I really can’t find a way out. These past few months have been the hardest of my life, I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I’m in my second semester of college, away from home. My family’s never been supportive of mental issues anyway, my anxiety has reached an all time low. It crippling, I feel like I can barely function. I have voices that tell me to not eat, I usually listen. Stress and anxiety from moving to college  gave me T-E, (telogen effluvium) which makes your hair fall out. In around 3 and a half months I’ve lost about half my hair, which used to be the part about myself I loved the most. I have no one to talk to, the only way I have to cope is to drink it all away. The past 3 nights I drank until I couldn’t feel the pain any more. Alcohol is probably half my calorie intake. I used to feel like I was falling apart but it’s done, I already fell apart, i don’t feel like myself anymore. I don’t care about my health or safety any more. I just want it all to stop, I want it all to go away and to feel like me again but I don’t know what to do ",1.8083170890188427,2.912908753086424,3.5773186051548653,92.19442495126707,76.6954732510288,6.9264890621615764,21.431448992852506,7.475848149327749,0.4880913580246906,869,21,206,11,19,292,129,243,0.075,0.809,0.116,0.9072,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,1,7,11,0,1,11,0,20,10,2,3,5,33,43,7,0,4,5,0,7,4,0,0,4,2,1,0,11,7,4,1,7,1,0,5,9,4,0,5,7,11,34,7,33,34,9,34,0,2,1,1,6,14,0,2,16,135,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903738652101754,0.0,0.0,0.12291683580434692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272381870404085,0.0,0.17041943648079694,0.0,0.11046463570610164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915684463727956,0.0,0.0,0.3139514574911024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135650947940478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398619338057407,0.0,0.10911553314954503,0.0,0.11397532856679712,0.0,0.0,0.0986546258905437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050044788185947,0.0,0.2815996598845976,0.3182957256997418,0.0,0.0,0.10180446721385752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058194405443497875,0.0,0.06330303242191512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839773852593925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172888991673116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625768088160937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121464087596815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786749794599076,0.2176696113470394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215905960308172,0.0,0.10052989893321372,0.0,0.07435078705467349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225053815678072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781392810566424,0.11838531955092504,0.0,0.08259104895225892,0.08590748086093307,0.0,0.0,0.10452788811687436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547779989066432,0.08471380691590727,0.11852218607726075,0.0,0.0,0.12061980572399092,0.21266041511013625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529544334433076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009257106343088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135650030805807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875994280370443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312339186603788,0.12759188703940205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639911692543207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952756716679633,0.09735596861107657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494986891501647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240287931105227,0.1226755582761445,0.0,0.1313962858812696,0.17682549058729438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EfficientJuggernaut,2019/02/03,"How can I stop lashing out at people in anger? Basically in a few days it’ll be the day that my sister passed away from cancer and my anxiety manifests itself into anger especially when I think how most people can’t relate to how that even feels. How can I recondition my brain to think more positively when it comes to situations like this, and how can I get a better coping mechanism than anger which I suppose is a form of repression?",12.186196078431372,7.4352649529411785,11.98,59.63666666666669,58.29411764705882,15.568627450980394,41.27450980392157,13.023866798666859,5.0890392156862765,351,11,65,9,3,119,60,85,0.232,0.674,0.094,-0.9227,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,3,1,4,0,7,2,1,5,0,16,12,9,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,0,1,8,2,12,10,4,13,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,6,51,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21523327459087585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643391765391045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24883270812309494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140815373072092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423595704193225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628971319036168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18583013933774445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422598693488073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699464691498978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374542252826474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901076760536343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162510904289436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23522261293940094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605576080101919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Reed0831,2019/02/03,"Is it anxiety? Hey everyone, I’m new to Reddit, and this is also the first time I’ve sought out help. I used to be a really social guy, not in the go out and party way but more of the I liked to talk to people way. I was a manager at a pizza place and loved going to work and being around the people there. I loved to train them and talk about their lives and all that. But then things changed kind of suddenly. A lot of set backs happened personally and out of no where I felt trapped by people. If I’m around more than about 5 people I immediately shut down. I zone out, I get irritated super fast, i respond in one word or not at all. I feel suffocated by people around me. It’s gotten so bad that even going out to a restaurant shuts me down. I don’t know how to control it or how to stop it. But it’s killing me because I miss being able to be happy. I come home to my wife and kids and it takes a lot of work to pull me out of this state. It’s not fair to them and that kills me because I don’t know what I’m dealing with. It’s been this way for almost 4 years now. Any help, thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. ",1.5410655737704886,2.8354426147541005,3.579475409836068,91.12904918032787,77.77049180327869,6.519344262295082,20.806557377049177,7.1686216300943375,0.3000039344262291,874,21,207,10,20,298,131,244,0.14300000000000002,0.7170000000000001,0.14,0.2629,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,5,14,11,2,0,10,0,12,3,0,4,2,48,32,22,2,2,10,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,16,21,1,2,5,0,0,5,6,4,0,2,5,2,23,7,41,21,6,39,0,1,0,2,17,19,0,7,11,141,39,3,0.11332811176052415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074291920210833,0.0,0.0,0.11348173371633785,0.0,0.0,0.09062845003057213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706700218369912,0.0,0.08669569530411839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026581392654725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714232261698067,0.09462423960164704,0.13816753011142358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988611547127055,0.09762213352489378,0.0,0.0,0.12710711382436582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683630700441194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485214899494876,0.0,0.0,0.10828986735671604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057302098434879836,0.0,0.10881275951126657,0.0,0.0,0.09639683396980912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920926094955512,0.0,0.1932209326825988,0.0,0.0,0.1249446432993582,0.0,0.11221264806326853,0.10021567495799487,0.1206398822967533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192288891801825,0.0,0.11367733630523755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507615294127015,0.11801378899889167,0.12456433287483545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553663909821554,0.0,0.1000707989517995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269501593433971,0.2045660909775344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945299653047713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679406148351624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928372167736527,0.09895373592024367,0.11840375613071742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260089032594251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552373819421265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474737592872813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520863618638619,0.1821776868810656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529016177305857,0.0,0.0,0.08996986186493178,0.0660825333280948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978791019665508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26986374037831184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650084301859167,0.0,0.0,0.08050503905230295,0.0,0.0,0.07297958836568177
mentalhealth,The1987Child,2019/02/03,"I don’t know what’s going on I just feel like crap all the time anymore.

Nothing makes me happy, and I feel like there’s just no point to being alive cause nothing ever will. I honestly feel like ending it but I won’t because I couldn’t do that to my absolutely lovely boyfriend and my roommates. I’m just stuck being miserable I guess.

I’m having urges to self harm again. All I wanna do is sleep. I’ve been through this before. I need help, even though I’m already in therapy and have antidepressants. It’s hard to get help because any help I get requires first me explaining everything to my mother, who I am pretty sure is a narcissist but I’m scared to declare her abusive in fear of being an asshole.

So yeah. I don’t know. I just don’t wanna feel like this anymore. I’m fat, and unmotivated to do anything. And sometimes I just think everyone is out to get me. My life feels like a joke.

I was doing well until a few months ago I was cheated on. I left that person. I found someone new who treats me wonderfully. Something just hasn’t been right since, though, despite me being over it for a while.

What can I do to help myself? I just want to stop being a damper on the lives of the people I love. And get out from my mother’s grasp. I’m not really in a state to do either.",1.1645956873315375,3.3720503962264203,3.0180525606469035,90.28158018867927,82.77358490566037,5.597035040431267,21.162398921832878,6.868970318607317,0.4849002695417784,1005,31,212,12,28,335,140,265,0.151,0.638,0.21,0.9541,0,0,1,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,0,2,15,19,2,3,10,1,29,6,3,2,4,45,58,13,0,5,11,2,6,5,0,2,2,0,0,2,11,8,1,2,12,1,0,1,8,6,1,1,6,6,33,13,28,44,4,25,0,1,0,2,14,12,1,2,16,142,44,1,0.0,0.12337118719422847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230059642314076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149046094755525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080862158804803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652819027773733,0.0,0.0,0.08568606467799865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269473585088324,0.0,0.08860276963468451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696513457745696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222391047352982,0.0,0.0,0.06877362999798357,0.09418709159336397,0.0,0.09949597132640893,0.0935809033693344,0.0,0.0,0.1171696578476371,0.2632438325941986,0.3719348718580197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856873558652391,0.0,0.11416777027039325,0.0,0.0,0.2176042162943675,0.0,0.059176679674999885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147055092563301,0.0,0.0,0.11084307851518194,0.0932756149339335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791713715895486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114448836207197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313219863271982,0.0,0.07354661980338821,0.2543512603751302,0.0,0.09194434886803443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18795389096941226,0.0,0.06950429609427916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311164143867736,0.0,0.0,0.07720742373438104,0.0,0.1005646462610658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998216354261528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218721642220863,0.0909179991820444,0.0,0.0,0.09843185205559622,0.0,0.0,0.1059326348958534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670518930775789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892224510403463,0.0,0.0,0.10424736482218322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086251620402362,0.0,0.0,0.0861333380231229,0.0,0.10420027286488093,0.0,0.08822483813276591,0.08016056981127695,0.10298236162748743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705322509634203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813665089995184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907609783104582,0.0,0.0,0.06671914366157497,0.20460471499391192,0.0,0.06071616857309605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06141566701146482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362094732671744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129192021385776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,though5578,2019/02/03,Has DBT actually worked for anyone? Please no negative comments cuz I'm one negative thought away from hanging myself currently. Thx!,4.870000000000001,8.218945545454549,5.327727272727274,66.6615909090909,93.54545454545456,9.472727272727274,37.31818181818181,8.841846274778883,5.60869090909091,110,7,14,4,4,35,21,22,0.322,0.521,0.156,-0.7263,1,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.4300839456913492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081651107877797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4140755692558778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986466112213588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4837836139441089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34988635630091103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32085299010105045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Incognitjo,2019/02/03,"Should I get diagnosed? [Throw away for obvious reasons]

During secondary school (I was 15-16 at the time so middle school I think for Americans) and puberty I had lasting spouts of depression. I never did anything about it because I assumed everyone got depressed time to time so I just kept on keeping on.

But occasionally I would transition out of depressive episodes (without realising) to a point where I felt almost on top of the world. I would feel invincible and have grandeur illusions about myself. Thinking that I was the best person, understanding the world and the universe in a way others couldn't, feeling like I was the centre of life and literally couldn't die. 

It wasn't until I started getting depressed again that I realised those thoughts weren't normal, but I've never told anyone this until now. These thoughts started to come back after I broke up with my GF late 2017 but I didn't notice that I was falling into it again. 

This time was different however as I actually started acting on my thoughts of superiority. I felt like a new overly confident person and because of the positive feedback I was receiving from my new personality my ego was hugely inflated. This is when I started abusing drugs, pushing away the people close to me, ruining relationships and generally acting recklessly.

Looking back I definitely have some regrets and currently I'm dealing with depression, mild paranoia and insomnia. 

I need to know if this was just me being stupid or if I possibly have a disorder and if it is disorder related what can I do to prevent myself from transitioning back into reckless behaviour.

Should I talk to someone qualified about this or am I just being paranoid again? ",7.142724434035912,8.765955016393447,7.6775644028103045,65.88677595628415,64.40983606557378,10.79313036690086,39.11397345823576,10.813802987103665,4.912790788446527,1380,75,209,38,21,455,171,305,0.171,0.7440000000000001,0.085,-0.9791,3,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,18,13,1,0,12,0,29,4,0,1,3,59,54,23,1,12,12,0,4,2,1,4,4,0,0,3,16,16,0,3,13,0,0,7,8,9,0,0,21,5,35,4,40,25,2,55,0,8,1,0,9,21,0,8,28,167,51,4,0.0,0.11215400506114592,0.092372350521929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478610548096282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618692912742791,0.0,0.07789529751737294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778682232111069,0.2183579977040848,0.0,0.1154050229433535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993375128689806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153930630542564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975880272274336,0.4076430880865071,0.09607566643294486,0.09823984364367536,0.09889724584224087,0.21697206098629346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977298695575402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904495768054644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572364765074216,0.06762354557731362,0.18177264944666008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890957901370873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570648348230752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084136194865823,0.0,0.0,0.052021447013459225,0.07715873435451287,0.10677811247235867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685959791140972,0.09249003172356833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794887051752391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701875534247019,0.1460118494437255,0.1828421708867784,0.0,0.0,0.0927445384886844,0.0,0.10776852367363468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562379450252362,0.2479545987757819,0.0,0.0,0.08948220962031687,0.10671243797849543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732397549389724,0.0,0.10162704400691212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915974782518005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020324005542116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679970897481181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608234770253804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130578210478082,0.0,0.22544314060675985,0.22078287912459893,0.0,0.0,0.0904495768054644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854209984429622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751349493975969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912467336964158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448435926145932,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Burn-after-use223,2019/02/03,"I can’t put my finger on exactly why but I don’t look normal I just don’t. My nose is bent on the bridge (almost hooked), the way my lips look when resting is quite simply dog-like, I have an ass for a chin, my teeth look like a five yr olds, I can go on and on.

However, even when I curiously try to photoshop all these flaws out; I still look the same to me. There’s still just this off putting thing about my face that I question how the fuck do people even think I’m beautiful. Makeup doesn’t even put a dent in it.

I wish I were just... born someone else.

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mentalhealth,Middle-Earthling-,2019/02/03,I just want someone to tell me I’m not as worthless as I feel... :’( I missed an entire week at my new job because my depression and CPTSD is making it so hard to function “normally” without having suicidal urges and I’m so ashamed to take so much time off... going back tomorrow morning and I’m just anticipating all the questions like “are you ok now? Did you have the flu?” Etc. I just feel like I am useless because of my illness. :’(,2.2373255813953503,4.28259127906977,3.9699418604651164,85.7470058139535,78.06976744186046,6.625581395348838,29.3546511627907,7.6454224807358475,1.9128651162790693,334,16,67,5,8,112,61,86,0.199,0.659,0.14300000000000002,-0.7732,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,8,8,0,1,3,1,6,2,0,1,1,15,16,8,1,2,5,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,3,11,3,9,15,3,9,0,4,0,0,4,2,0,1,8,45,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975305630505353,0.0,0.2850054379295293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20134391705994947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607129599548524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23640011000476965,0.16700380737387774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285566319850114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094100877297283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319785321344561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22841433867597366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604186317083138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17184627629849952,0.0,0.0,0.2257744578897176,0.0,0.0,0.2290428712146616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618735058101355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807075092894774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25570409904836866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757643395093959,0.0,0.2043234151872836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363119202860326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378823417670313,0.0,0.18751447829477697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22534387701262426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,natnat52,2019/02/03,"Hobbie help Hiya so i struggle with a few mental health issues the main ones being bpd and anxiety but im finding my anger to come out as a result of anxiety. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on low cost, low stress, around the house hobbie i can take up on? 
I walk daily 
I cannot focus on reading right now
I play ps4 but most my games are making me mad
I do paint but i cannot think of anything to put on the canvas and i suck at drawing 
I dont have any friends or family to hang with 
I work as a cleaner alone at night so i cant find people there to even talk to
Even browsing reddit is making me super mad the amount of just negative shit thats on here is really getting to me 
I constantly feel uncomfortable and on edge from anxiety and feel like i can never ‘calm down’ 
I feel like im at a total loss right now in terms of everything in my life not going well ",1.2859011264080067,2.9789514574468114,3.472941176470588,89.86029411764706,79.63829787234044,6.551188986232791,20.10137672090113,7.5105763829236425,0.5322799749687102,686,17,152,10,17,235,116,188,0.27,0.642,0.08800000000000001,-0.99,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,11,17,5,2,8,0,14,3,1,3,2,30,26,13,0,1,7,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,8,3,1,5,7,10,1,1,1,3,21,7,30,24,6,30,0,3,0,0,4,19,2,4,8,101,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732880288366453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803387815282429,0.0,0.304305259291547,0.0,0.0,0.09271375775707724,0.0,0.1091146823043704,0.11803798103854207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669992124871155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421916067335056,0.0,0.1432884773262203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540077280794815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17515596769086142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916815854798815,0.0,0.12499910344153248,0.0,0.2011325921201478,0.1894523014131377,0.0,0.0,0.2423795112598872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244284516863132,0.0,0.06927560221804666,0.0,0.07535699797662737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094266579633372,0.0,0.0,0.08887587390651426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529972412774928,0.0,0.14968402034258474,0.2864514816190123,0.13839510506498082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365602311839606,0.12955878916294636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701686302471695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336249347484253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226571482811501,0.0,0.0,0.12443176182816633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985004660964714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192492636867004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329495851748804,0.0,0.0,0.13263124082764358,0.0,0.08494398204329916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264714235804888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610723019795554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15188753532972388,0.13861745838993572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099695208001658,0.10657512665230606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496175185090134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921915148020508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437940103062936,0.09653100029337366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SCWorker,2019/02/03,First post Started having panic attacks two months or so ago. I feel like a failure because I always run out of my meds. Feel like when I ask for more I catch too much flak. I just wanna go back to before this anxiety flattened me.,2.5835106382978736,4.324811127659576,3.80526595744681,88.70875000000002,76.02127659574468,5.5510638297872354,24.51595744680851,5.985473137389443,0.6523659574468081,181,6,36,1,4,59,41,47,0.219,0.674,0.106,-0.7048,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,6,3,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,0,2,7,2,5,6,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408688187427768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095833163432603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847569388020877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22578224237867495,0.2747561337329132,0.0,0.18570874494217773,0.0,0.14722420655192114,0.0,0.2055099469732016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442326636086481,0.3450741601337226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054310066030348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372575186103286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23598230280060084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682667226366536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927735340028476,0.0,0.17753999264536482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833637061157264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23130288750487096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094428773588774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23592330552539395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,idreamofdinos,2019/02/03,"Therapist challenged me to list my anxiety strategies. She gave me an extra business card and had me write down as many as I could. She asked me to carry it around with me for a week, looking at it at least once a day. It helped me so much that I wanted something a little more permanent. I used Canva to create [this image](https://i.imgur.com/QUruCob.png) which I've just ordered a small poster print of to hang in my bedroom. Hopefully this will be an extra reminder that I can manage myself, and that I'll be okay.",6.421212121212123,6.875710464646468,6.339949494949495,78.99659090909091,65.56565656565657,9.024242424242424,30.641414141414145,8.841846274778883,2.380365656565657,412,14,76,6,6,130,70,99,0.033,0.894,0.07200000000000001,0.5574,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,6,1,6,0,0,1,0,10,12,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,9,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,15,3,14,6,5,11,0,0,1,0,6,7,0,1,2,59,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21356479097881834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485210752526571,0.2609868820785298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228950558980124,0.0,0.0,0.18004198065825935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871222089104897,0.0,0.0,0.27727945670313275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27980234234922635,0.0,0.0,0.2344330436949268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830352319406748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20522255708243975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29730764203722504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21491921331622973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241386536441106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411138163129521,0.0,0.0,0.16466208848653488,0.0,0.2239338643497264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yuval_a,2019/02/03,"Been trying to figure out, or ""diagnose"" or ""pinpoint"" this mental thing I have for almost 15 years I remember the exact date and year  and moment of the first ""outbreak"", it's something that stayed with me and is still happening in some variations tol this day. Over the years I've come to realize, that even though I have a pretty broad and rich vocabulary, and I can usually express myself quite well with words, when trying to explain this specific mental phenomenon, people (even ""professionals"") stare back with a clueless look, sometimes trying to lead me to answer very narrow and specific questions (it's understandable why) like: ""so it makes you feel... sad? depressed?"";  


It's a cognitive thing it happens ""in response"" to certain feelings and emotions -- the feelings that arise from becoming  aware to good qualities of yourself, especially through the eyes of someone else (think, the moment you realize a person has a ""crush"" on you, or ""values"" you somehow, sees some quality of you, which highlights it) -- the feelings that arise when experiencing ""human solidarity"". Basically much later I came across the notion of ""Flow"" ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow\_(psychology)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology))), and what I am describing has some similarities to  that, in the sense of a ""rewarding"" feeling, and a feeling of ""self worthiness"", of ""becoming aware to your place in the world"".  


Now those scenarios, sometimes trigger an unwanted mechanism, where as when the ""good feeling"" starts to rise, something happens, which I can't fully explain - but it's as if a mental ""opposing force"" acts against the ""good feeling"" -- ""saying"" that ""it shouldn't happen"" -- then there's this ""clash"" between the forces, there is a feeling of severe cognitive dissonance  -- eventually resulting in feelings of stress, anxiety, fogginess.  


Does that make \*any sense\* to anyone? Do any one have some clue of what I'm talking about, and can suggest some clue or suggestions for directions to handle it?  


I've only recently discovered that certain \*Dopamine"" inhibitors pills \*affect\* this situation, makes a change  
(while in the past I've been offers stuff related to Serotonin (SSRIs) which didn't help or change things --  
and I'm still experimenting with that, with help from a psychiatrist.  


But I'm looking for someone who might have at least a vague idea what to make of what I described.  


Thanks.",9.703939393939393,10.973788434343437,8.306616161616162,64.89659090909092,58.595959595959606,11.246464646464648,38.97474747474747,11.038039088145766,4.742638383838384,1924,89,279,46,24,586,218,396,0.061,0.8590000000000001,0.08,0.5548,0,0,2,0,0,0,138.0,0,6,0,4,17,13,0,1,27,0,18,3,1,8,3,71,50,28,0,3,8,0,10,1,0,2,2,1,0,3,36,19,0,1,21,0,1,6,3,3,1,2,4,17,17,10,53,44,7,45,0,2,5,0,21,16,0,15,23,197,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377036154482254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377920348382288,0.0,0.06399734567114912,0.0,0.0,0.05849489178200025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432703865564111,0.0,0.0,0.1847850801756776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568127614581023,0.0,0.0,0.17699594301821656,0.07206306382839424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053951818643400616,0.0,0.07205361734608483,0.0849100537669417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320876973665243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988465572670036,0.09410282044909013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050926661708273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183255971213887,0.0,0.0,0.4229947275184968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115856771815042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21050246773460413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959102949440052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214699418858158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443852544921634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04087056513958971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405015542620213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22336668250143427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529196190483173,0.08874681470735665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149749153372688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056688121376870765,0.06362488805585502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986003461469614,0.05799720289725,0.07304603095833996,0.08740371806557277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510920387290287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371494136126826,0.08897947484678127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260115587223084,0.0,0.0947670281009502,0.0,0.0,0.06652737259672377,0.0,0.0,0.06666376627762377,0.0,0.08727245452639502,0.09450855316270697,0.0,0.0,0.09403392849702487,0.0,0.0,0.14176454201630262,0.12880643033836378,0.1654777457331031,0.0,0.059212827099614014,0.08916718879605551,0.13361711316282868,0.0,0.095828765407459,0.0,0.09576720482225916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724029584167877,0.0,0.07702008940221113,0.0,0.0,0.1667339015527202,0.0536040022576721,0.08219253877190058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703927540252401,0.0,0.0,0.08708984602179523,0.0,0.0,0.09213632283409492,0.0690257535355959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521765413120855,0.0,0.07548739468751145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616170189486274
mentalhealth,weirdstuff44,2019/02/03,"How can I get relief? I have a lot of mental disorders. It causes me stress in my life and school. I have ADHD,ASD, Dyscalculia, and NLD. Im also seeing a dr to see if I have Psychotic Depression. I dont think I have that but my parents and teachers do. 

I feel so overwhelmed all the time. I have to take medications for my ADHD. I forget sometimes. My parents trust me to remember because I am 19. When I forget to, people notice. I also get overwhelmed because of school and projects. I have to do more math practice because of my learning disabilities. Im getting so anxious from math. I learn concepts slower than everybody else.  I get sent out of class to work on my math almost everyday because I get frustrated or I talk to the person next to me too much. They dont like that. 

Im having more violent outbursts at home. They cause me to feel broken. It upsets my family. I get angry and swear alot. I also hit myself. Some days I get angry at little things. I have weeks where I just feel irritable and Im hard to talk to. 

I have a hard time communicating my feelings sometimes. Im fully verbal but describing how I feel is hard. I describe it wrong and people get mad. I dont know how to fix this. Its why my parents still go with me in the drs office. I confuse doctors sometimes apparently. 

My mom and dad want me to get a card that says my diagnoses so that certain interactions go better. 

I also have really low moments sometimes where I just want to lay in bed and I cant move properly. I have missed school because of it. Some days I wish I could be neurotypical. 








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mentalhealth,framerx,2019/02/03,"All of my close friends have distanced themselves from me and I need some advice Before I say anything, I know I have my faults, I will admit some things about myself in this post that nobody knows about.

I’m a 14 year old male, when I was younger (about preschool to 6th grade) my dad would get very angry about small stuff and lash it out on me since I was the only male in the house. He would pick up furniture and threaten to throw it at me and threaten to hurt me. As I grew older I started to become more and more void of emotion. I always have been a “troublemaker” in elementary school I was known as a bully, but I wasn’t aware that I was, I just did things without thinking. In late 7th grade I started to get into juuling, which I’m sure all of you know what it is. I ended up losing my juul and quitting, but then I got my hands on some weed and it became a habit. I want to address that I’m not at all a dumb kid, I have been told by psychologists that I’m intelligent and much more developed for my age. But just because I am intelligent doesn’t mean I make the most intelligent decisions. I fell in love with pot and would smoke it every night. I  got my friends to do it too, and it was something I felt helped me bond with them. But my friendships never felt even, they have always felt like I’m trying to keep the other person on a hook. In early 8th grade I began to use my friend to help me shoplift for a business where I would steal gaming mice and sell them on eBay. I made quite a lot of money from that but since I didn’t have a secure place to store it other than PayPal I ended up spending it all due to my impulsivity. I recently figured out a method of exchanging Amazon cards for Bitcoin in which I would buy weed on the deep web, since I was tired of my dealer being unresponsive and slow. But I had another problem, I noticed my 2 closest friends starting to distance themselves from me, so naturally I tried to keep them close by guilt tripping and other tools that failed. Soon enough I accepted that they are no longer my friends and I gotta move on. Before they distanced themselves I had scammed a guy and found out he was talking shit behind my back and punched him in the jaw in the locker room, I got suspended for 3 days and was recommended to go to a psychiatrist by the school counselor since I didn’t show any signs of remorse. I went to the psychiatrist and the first time I wasn’t very open about anything but the second time I told her about everything and I think it made me feel a little bit better. I’ll be starting therapy soon, which will be an interesting experience for me. But the advice I’m looking for is how should I go about finding new friends because I feel like I have very limited options because of how different I am from everyone else it’s like I have to put up personas for people which can be annoying at times. Incase you’re wondering I have become self aware that there is a chance I’m a narcissist. I’ve been told by my friends, and I have done extensive research on the topic as well. I’m just looking for some advice on how I should find a new group and specific things I should do and not do.",6.337625068719077,5.5105671495327115,6.661968114348543,80.93109400769656,65.97819314641744,9.609015942825732,32.12222833058457,8.757208317658263,2.335182371266264,2498,85,522,33,34,810,290,642,0.087,0.7709999999999999,0.142,0.9897,1,0,3,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,6,7,23,27,3,1,30,0,54,5,3,8,6,101,104,39,0,11,14,1,6,3,7,11,1,1,2,6,32,31,0,4,20,2,6,9,10,10,1,2,33,9,87,17,85,56,16,78,0,3,2,1,36,38,2,8,33,356,119,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19924765727968766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310681936651375,0.0,0.0,0.04621941745592671,0.07126859594631732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186095434956003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522618925479002,0.0,0.12429488442768873,0.15012688608741828,0.1156686376786644,0.0,0.0,0.0601106727585989,0.07420160096527187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04383264343629064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101032190029706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955312649715731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056777125834868915,0.07645294410476353,0.12039594394006878,0.07022736067975767,0.0,0.04489110285650278,0.0,0.0572645425719264,0.06494471620521455,0.06108373163784446,0.0664840871268739,0.0,0.0,0.06873161102982436,0.04855514123360387,0.1957749314445122,0.0,0.12423994127885095,0.057812103551922685,0.0,0.07452154435146248,0.3675741856818765,0.0,0.07101917737921888,0.0,0.07725363381501386,0.0,0.1630765867007192,0.0,0.0,0.06729732671200489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111276194803757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842398960760552,0.07275933425796166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082314790482007,0.0,0.0,0.1120575097926696,0.0,0.07666895143534674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961470922662537,0.06812009210291887,0.0,0.0,0.11414915539580488,0.07603690918727195,0.0,0.057782521252847635,0.061342243037303526,0.12862272060307506,0.04536803575772562,0.0,0.0,0.07403523017619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223742509446025,0.0499630538210574,0.050396153296653284,0.05241980371625344,0.13128456006075834,0.0,0.06378177223973065,0.0,0.0,0.07738008770226014,0.07131920299623595,0.0,0.0,0.051691436951538834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047119277511293314,0.05934555516276016,0.07101032190029706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509293171176421,0.0,0.0,0.06503457397953208,0.0,0.0683249080456426,0.0,0.14458106110884286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710852578860813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404953299275186,0.0,0.13757105660605154,0.0,0.0,0.07090367808265316,0.0,0.06976643446272836,0.22488971640341215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232378143395095,0.0,0.0,0.19242759946736915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780515740552828,0.0,0.0,0.06405743727169283,0.0,0.0,0.054628740722524605,0.0,0.0,0.07772539206729663,0.0,0.13546137719299906,0.08710012662403784,0.0,0.0,0.1188950954841644,0.07811726832255919,0.0,0.1948341486156437,0.0,0.09228931812513924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058701064603757326,0.0,0.16823795668380911,0.040088287107910785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061109869816238074,0.06300544483148307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655170917749225,0.0737065575544833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24140656194170101,0.0,0.0,0.04376807148142317
mentalhealth,dearconnormurphi,2019/02/03,"Is this an unhealthy coping mechanism? I really love musicals. I often (several times everyday) imagine myself as the one on the stage singing with my friends watching and admiring me. I also imagine myself in love songs with my “ideal guy,” this past year I’ve been hurt several times by several guys. It makes me feel pessimistic about love and the only time I can feel good about it is imagining a made up boy. The thing is I do this a lot. I listen to music for most of the day. Most of the music I listen to is musicals, therefore I’m daydreaming about this a lot. I feel like I’m becoming disconnected from reality by just imagining myself in another life with people who aren’t real. ",4.5912030075188,6.1571335714285755,6.187977443609022,74.3866278195489,70.42857142857143,10.13203007518797,30.59323308270677,10.355215969177356,3.534624661654135,547,23,97,16,10,187,81,133,0.064,0.742,0.194,0.9622,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,9,0,0,10,0,8,4,0,3,0,23,20,4,0,1,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,3,0,3,8,5,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,7,15,8,19,18,4,12,0,1,1,3,10,4,0,5,8,70,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002458636147813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737939326758646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16575939186024352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967937523915025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22766561692176399,0.10722224236215518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595690831948925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258859247135303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972196184261477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606713269431713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060109456002618,0.07332496775261382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551973422654325,0.4063783576495102,0.14201602725684284,0.1001842936076808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017028919888587,0.11414799010058585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327510380258965,0.10405148589597772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083195914125687,0.0961496288186192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5086670509203958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971118915585277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625509558780137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665116090440767
mentalhealth,CroCopsLeftLeg,2019/02/03,"Seeing things out of the corner of my eye Sometimes I’ll see black shadows out of the corner of my eye, when I’m in the living room sometimes it looks like there’s a shadow moving underneath the door to the hallway, but when I look directly at it there’s nothing. Earlier tonight I was on my pc and I saw a kind of flash in the corner of my eye on the wall behind the monitor.

It freaks me out sometimes but I’ve read online that it could be a symptom of my anxiety. Does anyone else get this?",2.68721153846154,3.9161556057692337,4.34346153846154,87.07653846153849,74.67307692307692,7.123076923076923,25.5,7.6454224807358475,1.2718692307692314,389,13,82,5,8,131,63,104,0.038,0.943,0.018000000000000002,-0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,11,0,3,4,3,0,0,7,10,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,7,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,9,9,2,18,6,0,18,0,0,9,0,0,14,0,0,4,55,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197648670354638,0.0,0.0,0.13890963835927042,0.20355350003726194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861606842454787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738511418526082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595726495292454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379310561916001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20687671944622127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097056601869403,0.0,0.17542287875957505,0.0,0.3336534096718932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21114710052046887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19062230010032027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987165458958318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166170372552483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5894477222547644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20648670015868467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198272681789697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ageless_Steak,2019/02/03,"Am I in too deep (no. These arnt the lyrics to the song) I recently got a job promotion, one step closer to my dream job. 

I've worked for the same company for 2 years and got the promotion pretty much on my 2 year anniversary. When my Managers asked all the other staff who they would like to replace the previous manager, they all picked me; makes you feel good.

Fast forward to about a week into the promotion, I feel like I'm in to deep. Everyone is expecting me to be this superstar manager, but I feel like if I make the tiniest mistake I'm letting them down. I also feel like I ask stupid questions, and repetitive questions as I have a learning disability (they dont know) in which it takes me longer to learn things than most people. 

Is there any way to feel better? Is it normal to feel this way after a promotion?",4.028292433537832,5.3239591042944845,5.0547392638036825,83.0160148261759,71.45398773006136,9.114314928425358,28.307259713701434,9.516144504307137,2.478525971370144,646,24,130,15,12,212,101,163,0.062,0.8170000000000001,0.121,0.7622,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,4,6,5,8,1,0,12,0,9,0,0,3,2,27,25,7,0,5,2,0,6,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,0,11,2,0,2,2,2,0,1,2,7,19,6,21,20,5,22,0,0,0,0,10,11,0,4,13,85,28,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095464160011496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943516258261405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25941642861761915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270902612922566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260856865967374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325771699442642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4209230407867628,0.2973592119790517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637305390932567,0.2219347327208311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753667899204585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625084013696849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187656583927935,0.0,0.2711359651872933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852272559844216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019938289735246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594102786198806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401746985683218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618858665155117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115394575281187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31085318971825143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699433838577574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431926934760337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217627480913956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22025927167051385,0.11129318621973636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100829941425624,0.0,0.0,0.09856074722714912,0.0,0.0,0.17869496981370858
mentalhealth,Jinxx32888,2019/02/03,"The Girl I’ll never meet This is really weird but I watched a show called You. But there’s this actor, Elizabeth Lail. For some weird reason I have had a weird attraction to her that I have never had. Every other girl around me has became less attractive. And Elizabeth is making me depressed. I don’t know why but my mental health is all screwed up. I don’t know if it’s a celebrity obsession, or I’m in love. It’s unrealistic but my emotions think other.",2.213937198067633,4.440723630434783,3.916231884057975,85.19205314009663,79.0,7.132367149758455,22.17874396135266,8.167268648758528,1.298068599033816,362,11,72,7,9,121,62,92,0.184,0.6829999999999999,0.133,-0.4793,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,2,9,1,1,4,0,10,3,0,2,3,17,16,7,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,1,11,3,5,14,3,5,0,1,1,2,7,3,1,3,2,50,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359254640477185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706167446733776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22826276625008746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29811369503451823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232921776980305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817056301671664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912979453512681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23919239406264545,0.0,0.17690401507181522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670794981538573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088020824266155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16977966079479756,0.2724864043810097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698151777535569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391408254442037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sclineco,2019/02/03,"Just wanted to get this out I won’t reveal too much information about myself however, what I can say is that I suffer from several mental illnesses. Because of these, I have an IEP (individualized education program) which means I am given more attention in school by physiologists and teachers. These people are supposed to be trained in dealing with mentally ill or disabled children and for the most part they have been. Until this year. I’m a sophomore in high school and because of a manic episode I had freshmen year, I was placed in a program for mentally ill teenagers. The three main counselors are to put it nicely extremely rude and insensitive. I hadn’t seen this before (if you don’t count kids peace) and I was shocked at the way they treated me. For instance, when I suffered a panic attack. the counselors got closer and started to invade my personal space. For those who know about mental illnesses, the one thing you’re NEVER supposed to do when someone is having a panic attack is to invade their personal space. This went on for around 20 to 30 minutes. What happened next was absolutely unacceptable. One of the counselors  started calling me autistic. I happen to not be autistic. She kept insisting that I had autism; even when I showed her my IEP she wasn’t even sorry. I have been called this throughout my entire life mostly by kids and parents but never a teacher let alone a counselor. Someone who is supposed to help you  feel safe and comfortable would never call you autistic. An it’s not just me, they act this way to all of the students in the program, they will talk down to some as if they’re mentally challenged, force a student to do something they don’t want to do, and grilling students to the point of tears. I had told my parents about the situation and they were infuriated. I wanted to get this message out because people who struggle with mental illness should not be treated in this manner. Have any of you ever experienced an event like this? If so, comment your story.",6.74266129032258,7.785499610215059,6.66413978494624,74.89120967741938,64.99462365591397,8.673118279569893,35.39247311827957,8.72156446121922,3.1196376344086016,1613,74,270,23,24,511,196,372,0.12,0.825,0.055,-0.9499,4,1,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,5,7,1,14,16,3,3,21,0,37,6,0,0,5,47,56,21,0,8,10,2,1,1,0,4,6,1,0,5,23,15,0,2,7,1,0,3,11,9,0,3,17,4,39,7,48,31,8,37,0,2,1,0,36,18,0,7,15,210,62,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252646180902499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06075240237801529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952910471249892,0.0,0.20326806772658568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337749906693294,0.0,0.07601943085362264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273670002230852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092102795416567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180128393669927,0.08081066908186894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0451716044815455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335006536618924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714511703738849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580012933452412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059880884272479125,0.09438972336645206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490974233999834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135340425147027,0.06310155090764451,0.04364567412585674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731446957551644,0.0,0.0,0.5401856928239922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567316761760889,0.0,0.2067072141908646,0.0,0.09501119276083983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107448301590833,0.0,0.0,0.20963605879670305,0.19839691652532632,0.09674355002839606,0.0,0.12387041917424192,0.15601170438951034,0.0933384254181258,0.0,0.08445258993580279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898086244809973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104457731105421,0.0,0.18082815938710728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092567840345563,0.0,0.0,0.10041882675069032,0.0,0.0,0.1513903461406109,0.06877618971822626,0.0,0.10000575183292984,0.12646674920367376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339470453729663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180590800270918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059351707910473325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536558330678977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808029718338004,0.14182352220059258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281653787735645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346262845809568,0.0,0.0,0.11506053673154595
mentalhealth,criminal007,2019/02/03,I really need help I’m paranoid I’m craZy and I’m a damn near aggressive psychopath Not even therapist can help me I have really bad trust issues I don’t even trust my own family that’s how bad it is,-0.52901515151515,1.6794762500000004,2.5563636363636384,89.79621212121214,93.3181818181818,7.4787878787878785,16.424242424242426,8.344100000000001,1.0536333333333334,161,4,36,5,6,57,32,44,0.299,0.46,0.241,-0.2898,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,8,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4851393282209338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837676416970711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27387368968592657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894550095269036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032243993361643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154147667421264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722254182358192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33731277323524633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zachary-phillips,2019/02/03,"The hardest truth of childhood trauma  TL;DR Although I didn't want it to happen, ask for it or anything like that, it is my responsibility to live with the aftermath, go through the recovery process and ultimately move on.

  
I wrote [this](https://medium.com/invisible-illness/the-hardest-truth-of-childhood-trauma-584e1f426061) blog post a week ago, and have had a lot of positive feedback about it, so I wanted to share it with you all. In it I talk about what happened to me, how I was impacted and ultimately how I moved towards recovery and acceptance.

My experience is of course my own, but for me at least, when I realised that it was on me to heal and that anger/blame/resentment was counterproductive to that healing, I was actually able to make some real progress. At my worst I was suicidal, self harming and struggling with addictions.  


I want to make it clear that nobody deserves trauma in any manner. However when it happens, the victim needs to take actions to help themselves (see the therapists, do self care, exercise etc etc), because hoping the the perpetrator will fix everything is folly. Whilst anger, rages, resentment and sadness towards them feels sadistically satisfying, it too has little ability to heal (particularly if it is the only actions taken down that path).",9.771190476190476,9.913471357142855,9.126607142857146,62.87672619047622,58.64285714285714,12.288095238095238,42.32738095238096,11.698219412168324,5.311513095238095,1040,53,160,27,12,331,136,224,0.2,0.6679999999999999,0.132,-0.9713,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,1,1,1,8,16,4,1,10,0,15,5,0,4,3,31,33,16,1,6,3,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,2,18,10,0,0,2,2,0,5,1,10,0,0,9,2,19,6,31,23,8,23,0,1,1,0,9,10,0,5,8,118,37,1,0.14265008218783878,0.0,0.1392059026935884,0.15550964552770358,0.0,0.0,0.12645069084607582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700694756748307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738886306587287,0.0,0.13335857050001665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695816607151287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454412659201081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181850989714157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282046957400315,0.1395391527844024,0.0,0.0,0.07212816770956346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107132907978283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3784349897087243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561534315582852,0.0,0.0,0.1416837186622454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969162462300567,0.1429728578734523,0.12596263604251962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127599866088748,0.0,0.0,0.19044007511284827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30322892387081424,0.0,0.10577322842965424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849181556274216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661934661115388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623670236071903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367364653530647,0.0,0.2976302930976751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912883855616324,0.0,0.15603603686826914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725510878348216,0.1146567325735092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562774017420492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524161432317216,0.0,0.1144252914107704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anotherincognito2,2019/02/03,"Self-harm I used to self harm around the age of 13/14. It lasted for a few months, then i stopped. I remember at the time it was a way of punishing myself. I don't remember exactly why i stopped, but i used to be really ashamed of it.

More recently in the Summer of 2018, at the age of 21, i started doing it again. Similar methods. Again a few months until i stopped but i feel like this time around it was because i knew it wasn't right and i was only making things worse for myself.

I'm not doing it anymore though. I stopped myself. I still have thoughts and urges often but i feel like I'm managing them better each day. I employ a lot of healthy coping mechanisms. 

I have never gotten professional help. Its obviously not diagnosed but i know i struggle with anxiety and depression.

Is there anyone else who had a similar experience with self harming? Or stopped on their own?",2.2972318561335925,4.742117416184972,3.9144026974951833,84.11671644187544,80.04046242774568,7.543866409762366,26.37411689145793,8.515128840125781,2.162902633269108,695,29,134,16,18,231,99,173,0.227,0.6970000000000001,0.076,-0.9765,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,1,8,9,1,2,9,0,12,1,0,3,3,35,24,11,0,0,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,11,8,0,5,7,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,8,2,23,3,19,15,6,30,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,3,24,98,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331294602021407,0.0,0.12096954199173834,0.08528995417028279,0.12498102287529353,0.0,0.21717281742604094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435674420631305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787975560605237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866581165152292,0.0,0.10505959638584568,0.12380524818078507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018970871225782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931803025632658,0.0,0.0,0.12335162892095596,0.17428242038596128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175937849689628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703599774371577,0.09942846727733004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918471926267625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370145574800628,0.0,0.0,0.08142135805941303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472358103749185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407706409370868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276987478833294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814232224840738,0.0,0.12043870129738098,0.0,0.27635491706546256,0.10416866819630194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817494188018031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633675789059238,0.0,0.09741190308116722,0.5098959495382437,0.0,0.12751804003302006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103685859762473,0.0,0.11984290681518504,0.09683702096394266,0.1422528729642839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106999044479182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682057281083267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006630215380732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430614925947076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,clyson,2019/02/03,"What to expect from a psychological evaluation? Hey everyone! After nearly a year of asking, I finally get to see someone. They're going to do a psychological evaluation and I just want to know what I should be expecting? What do they exactly do? Thanks in advance!",2.8010714285714258,5.853726250000001,6.01345238095238,64.1625,88.58333333333334,9.40952380952381,27.690476190476193,9.23628265651192,3.95047261904762,212,10,33,8,7,77,34,48,0.0,0.88,0.12,0.6513,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,8,12,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,9,10,0,7,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,3,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3572415022597528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651431608138232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4186065365000816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996480115849933,0.0,0.217174218965198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100095574074123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045094447500243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237789010813487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518154759032395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253911437528042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460802494378905
mentalhealth,SirBruice,2019/02/03,"A change in plans M 17
I’ve been struggling to get through school in a normal way for the past 6 years.
I’m diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have been taking Zoloft (sertraline) for almost a year.

I went into highschool 1,5 years ago, because of my ongoing issues i had a conversation with an advicer before the first school year started. She told me that I might have to extend my schoolyears etc. I’ve been trying to avoid this as much as possible. But because of the stupid ass laws here (if We’re not in class for more than 10% of the year, we literally dont have the right to getting a grade and completing the semester.) I’ve been left with no other choice, and have to do this.
I’m fucking pissed, sad, unmotovated and geberally just want to drop out and try to become a freelancer (i do art and hope to make a living of it later in life)
I feel like my opinion didn’t matter because the fucking teachers didn’t tell me untill A DAY before the deadline. I wasn’t ready and hadn’t thought about it.
I dont want to leave my classmates just because my brain is fucked and messes up my body at the same time. 

This is the FIRST time over the span of 17 years that I feel like I belong, But because of the law i’ll be Ripped away from it.
Because of my mentality and the fucked schoolsystem i’ll ne behind in another aspekt of life.
I feel so lost, stuck and out of control. I cant drop out of school because then my mom’ll go insane because ""i’m not doing anything with my life""
I’m not stable enough to work full tine either.

Please give me any Feedback, i need input. Am i insane. Am i just a teen who wants to grow up too quickly. God i feel so fucking stuck and cant do anything about it. If i could, i’d get a cheap ass car and just drive to another plase and figure my shit out.
I need a break.

My plan was to finish highschool in 3 years, take a gap year while working and figure out What to do with my life

Tl;DR
I have to take this year (2nd year) over the span of 2 years, and leave my current class which really fucking sucks because i feel a really strong connection to all of my classmates and love the absolute shit out of them.
I feel that I have no control over my life or future.

Thanks, KMS",4.41634406972338,4.786074613186816,5.1298446381205025,86.2291208791209,69.9010989010989,8.034103827207275,27.557787040545662,7.873277556716777,1.4646619931792348,1739,54,372,20,29,563,214,455,0.153,0.7709999999999999,0.076,-0.9905,1,1,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,0,1,10,11,23,11,2,29,0,32,21,7,3,1,72,73,29,0,10,13,0,6,2,0,1,7,0,0,0,15,30,0,3,9,1,1,5,13,17,0,2,16,6,42,6,66,54,8,61,0,3,0,9,9,25,12,7,29,232,57,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364635174338244,0.057735692618897085,0.0,0.0652204077027924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04429207360734225,0.1365934090604357,0.04982589187388858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719636673401957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119376872979335,0.0,0.0,0.35733541051249296,0.07193330698472876,0.11084527015100784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234709993639124,0.0,0.07270898399515925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890114446510802,0.0,0.06828978636584837,0.0,0.1461024169100596,0.05200269624734268,0.0,0.0,0.0420048277617489,0.0,0.056098197657392025,0.06610772858826502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266871406180724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729888864227426,0.07263952829047396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19759653468937205,0.09306079599918923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080269232552624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612815605140203,0.1020865300286222,0.06248066233593344,0.03701608353926247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469088919208188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679810091704984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379310169163491,0.07076623660820827,0.0,0.2300237050831627,0.06364052565348689,0.0,0.0575128533292834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109940058270088,0.0,0.05878427927912639,0.0,0.043476194418024784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563785554608127,0.06909488428602477,0.0,0.07628194922595384,0.0,0.0,0.047879600810635234,0.0965892801860073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381564662612063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217597633194779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714955065814697,0.0,0.0734266765851484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345060498422728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562247276033445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19775154147860444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337143659801251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04610084824100255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809023126629257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691374047297268,0.0,0.05692834180730073,0.059964903331949336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517076262375605,0.07595812338336197,0.0,0.0,0.06223652977262824,0.0,0.08844086525902174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524983185274895,0.05169884349161435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037812576933607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483391501599753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4613724329413484
mentalhealth,hokkil,2019/02/03,"I have social anxiety, I am doing pretty good lately but there is one thing kills me “Jealousy” Hello everyone. I’m 24 years old, F, and I’ve been taking Paxera 30mg and Rexapin 2,5mg for around 5 months. I had paranoia before, but the pills started working for me and I am doing good for now. I have only one problem, when i am out with friends, if there is another girl around my friends I am getting super jealous. If everybody focuses that girl, I am getting really jealous. I don’t know how to stop this feeling. I also have the same problem about my younger sister. She is really pretty and I love her so much! But can’t stop being jealous about her. Either for my cousin. My doctor told me I need therapy but It is really expensive to get a therapist in my country. I need some help about it. Please help me.",1.7706820642367376,4.091719478527608,3.7138289426199935,85.51398412125589,81.20858895705521,6.5346806207145445,24.92565860700109,7.724431198458867,1.5757603031396608,637,25,122,11,17,215,98,163,0.182,0.596,0.222,0.8772,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,12,12,4,0,3,0,19,3,0,1,0,26,31,14,1,6,7,2,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,5,8,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,6,0,2,3,1,25,6,14,27,4,13,0,0,0,1,15,4,0,3,9,89,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203152041150408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468986750440204,0.10716999523633544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494231593970733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192079722739414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433900964468902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338639078682301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083472362446548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21646946071741133,0.0,0.21957686105353827,0.0,0.0,0.23500504307659675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18780142687039375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499103974161668,0.0,0.07699089853299358,0.0,0.1580298760389534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643849800542908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182009647230244,0.0,0.10298373792848192,0.2077528832522553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700298618530533,0.0,0.18985992728929246,0.10654627747994733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377894527505453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850478524686451,0.0,0.268098245034649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692395640784033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280615004617536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991578374328793,0.0,0.0,0.2342463669347772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533174804304096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602074091730845,0.16265760759411355,0.09307089873674856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338639078682301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198864323624512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902146537964071
mentalhealth,RAINV7,2019/02/03,"Okay, I really can't take work and the pressure of family and life anymore. I just want to hide in my room and somehow financially support myself from there. Advice please? I quit school at 16, got a job at McDonald's and it started out fine but I've been depressed since I was 13 and currently I just go to work, go home to my parents and play video games. But I can't take the pressure anymore, I don't know why even it's not that much work to just go to McDonald's and go home but I feel so terrible I wish I could just stay in my room, make it a perfect safe place and work from there somehow.

After work all I can do is just sleep, play video games or watch movies so working to achieve my goals after work is basically impossible for my current state of mind. Should I just quit and seek help to try to fix my mental health first and then start working from home?

​

Please, advice.. ",3.7792812105926856,4.7813826994535535,4.4081967213114766,88.53052963430014,71.73224043715847,7.597982345523329,26.64522908785204,7.882392219407189,1.3264757461118115,706,23,153,9,13,225,101,183,0.081,0.747,0.172,0.9407,4,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,14,13,11,0,2,4,1,11,3,1,1,2,35,26,17,0,4,11,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,5,0,4,11,0,1,2,6,0,4,4,4,0,1,3,2,19,7,21,21,2,22,0,1,1,0,4,8,0,3,8,91,23,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003488005907832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107266309284526,0.12456437028986135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20333046266448196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818481934569423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829419368197926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770879068760847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966400202361249,0.0,0.05183359250179765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719740370647754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330417293849227,0.0,0.08198891519227597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896639815550416,0.0,0.0,0.06871222285883237,0.0,0.3084863323163489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172821580819033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056338398128909964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240787909835117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842814369802919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033088721646624,0.0,0.10350878607501836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535876238321577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382842211181828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710414127218172,0.22505671729593246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21807013374795955,0.0,0.0,0.06567237618181128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374850787457293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479971401253138,0.0,0.10258691398442646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511828876763394,0.10926509074237796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633040185462018,0.0,0.0,0.15415385636316034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695995166749616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046475288189754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250192970983864,0.0,0.11788475330450154,0.0,0.0,0.5970447828774053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456437028986135,0.0
mentalhealth,Bub_Wubs,2019/02/03,"Should I get a service dog for my anxiety? So I’m not sure if this is the right place for me to post/ask this but I dunno where else to ask. I’m 18 years old and entering my 2nd semester of my senior year of high school. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety over the past couple of years and although I’ve been able to deal with the depression which is mostly gone at this point I am struggling very severely with my anxiety. Last year I missed 2 months of school in one big chunk along with days here and there because of anxiety, This year I had to stop playing football and I failed to do drama because of my anxiety. On top of that I almost didn’t go to any school for the first semester because I was too afraid and anxious to go. Most days it has been so bad that I couldn’t really get up in the morning to even try to go to school.   

Recently I’ve realized that when I’m at home if I’m extremely anxious and my dog that I have right now happens to want some attention comes over, it makes me a lot more calm to just pet him and have him with me. The second semester has only been going on for around a week now and I’ve missed a little over half of it and although I’ve been taking medicine and talking to a therapist neither of them seem to help me as much as I need them to. I don’t really know anything about service dogs but a close friend mentioned to me when I said my dog calmed me down that some people have service dogs for anxiety. After he told me that I started to look into it on my own and now I’m not really sure what I should do. I’d appreciate some opinions on this because I’m not sure if I should ask my parents or therapist about this if it wouldn’t be a viable option for me. (Also sorry for the long paragraphs) ",5.032801501035198,4.608166252717397,5.930155279503107,83.75811594202902,68.53804347826087,9.509523809523813,30.023809523809533,9.107695989026183,2.2020733436853006,1383,46,302,23,21,458,170,368,0.171,0.767,0.062,-0.9908,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,3,17,16,0,3,14,0,25,0,0,1,3,59,54,28,0,11,11,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,19,22,0,1,4,2,0,7,8,9,0,4,11,2,37,7,59,37,10,56,0,5,1,0,15,25,0,16,24,206,56,9,0.08426746877048187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438169756299316,0.0,0.0,0.06738866433075644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05730476841856001,0.0,0.38678629775528267,0.1903965078585598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934494674444101,0.07501591294658601,0.23633612408484755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035981656883035,0.2054746672804733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258896279415739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932403514016662,0.0,0.10869109216640976,0.08687606013022996,0.14515889474736893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039465719231808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055657868377477375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716778658881155,0.0,0.0,0.06510483733758002,0.0,0.08805254884212979,0.0,0.19156457778737887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451744433614778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05648270803484741,0.08903320736109435,0.08452714192622726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0463111970515618,0.0686892340771769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445814156639019,0.0,0.07457405811927881,0.07076345046287498,0.0,0.0,0.07164118851546361,0.0,0.0,0.056249189751915465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726148961405158,0.0,0.0619462854855304,0.06248326034409257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842453316060793,0.0,0.05710181769811161,0.06408920723752415,0.0,0.0,0.09356905168703568,0.0,0.08044283400426537,0.05842045258162992,0.0,0.08804156944868904,0.0,0.0796599956410957,0.0,0.08070494140227362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619516948586873,0.0,0.08320395930767026,0.0,0.0,0.1439279158007292,0.08015765985690787,0.0,0.0,0.34113270888469394,0.0,0.07671393870385716,0.0,0.0951982539292799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433053220927204,0.05964494811802856,0.0,0.0,0.07045137713959804,0.0,0.17618930957589107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382632761549498,0.0,0.06335864929951816,0.06773099940272849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568205231423505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052117761323482,0.0,0.05721207983323204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952948693890823,0.04970313637566188,0.0,0.06759428051232072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713274353535063
mentalhealth,Mr-Caids,2019/02/03,"Am I trapped here? For once in a long time I've started thinking about my life beyond High school. I always thought I would have ether killed myself, someone else, or just had a full on mental breakdown before I graduated but here I am, half way done with my senor year of high school.  I've thought about going into psychology and becoming a therapist seeing as I already am a shrink to most of the kids in the school. (it's a long story) anyhow down to my problem, 

I'm a lower middle class American, who hates this country, 'cause he finally saw that there is no point in trying to bridge a gap in a nation that simply wants to destroy itself, god dammit I'm ranting let me start over

​

I want to get an education in a country that I think is better then the US and I've been thinking the UK, (I know Brexit is a nightmare but grass is always greener on the other side) may and her shenanigans is something I think I can put up with, unfortunately being lower middle class American, has shot my chances of going to collage anywhere else except in my home state. and my learning disability has pretty much guaranteed that no collage would offer me a scholarship 

what I'm trying to say is I feel fucking trapped again.",4.884957983193278,6.198149008403367,5.586806722689079,79.943487394958,69.42016806722688,7.616806722689077,29.966386554621852,7.928766900206844,2.080379831932773,976,38,177,12,17,317,145,238,0.14800000000000002,0.7929999999999999,0.059,-0.9704,2,2,1,0,0,1,24.0,1,0,0,1,8,6,4,0,17,0,21,2,0,1,0,30,43,9,1,5,5,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,1,10,7,0,0,9,0,1,3,2,5,0,1,6,4,23,1,30,32,3,35,0,0,2,1,7,21,1,4,9,120,33,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084657972138175,0.0,0.1973219444832909,0.12847215206031348,0.14407732988088495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309528870491832,0.10089559864877844,0.0,0.0,0.1048668409151386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180557483967075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133979402991328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810251821519576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995330437118351,0.0,0.0,0.12988926366410047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961742520051504,0.06194870589836458,0.0,0.13477381229669444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170647913215682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505545631797357,0.11893686496243215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118177787632276,0.0,0.06516378602718521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124737461273324,0.08375054486730299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20986406207782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949216633820793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716368285759743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627475941283936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120883769232609,0.0,0.0,0.12062982521119316,0.0,0.11345689559795852,0.0,0.11919708986352867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429280222250767,0.0,0.3600020124272505,0.09448612027905356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046523258582657,0.09128212032742043,0.0,0.0,0.16785101160043114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376706304111313,0.0,0.3039032738513075,0.0,0.18826502553834096,0.06913998513929735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100450715070616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426268944703083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987306525709467,0.09411652398753263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845955877869956,0.0,0.14407732988088495,0.07635614739560938
mentalhealth,Barabup,2019/02/03,"I need some help. Lately I’ve been feeling down pretty much 24/7. But the thing I’m most concerned about is I am struggling to care about anything. I have a levels coming up- I used to want all As and now I have no motivation to do any sort of work or revision or coursework. Me and my boyfriend are fighting all the time and I love him but when we argue I don’t feel anything, no remorse when I’m shitty to him and not upset when he’s mad at me. I feel so conflicted. I know I should care about these things and I want to but I feel trapped in my own head and that I physically can’t. I keep getting self harm thoughts and suicidal thoughts.
I’ve started doing reckless shit too and not caring about consequences like unprotected sex etc. 
I just need advise as to what the fuck is going on and how to make it better. I feel guilty for feeling these and posting this because I know other people have worse things so I’m sorry about this ramble. ",2.1854116292458268,4.227991378238347,3.265241796200346,90.74987190558434,78.22279792746113,5.739666090961427,23.675590097869893,6.691623216298621,0.6565120322394931,748,25,156,7,18,240,117,193,0.292,0.579,0.129,-0.9928,0,1,0,0,2,0,14.0,1,0,0,3,14,14,5,2,4,0,13,5,2,4,2,46,42,23,1,5,8,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,11,12,0,2,11,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,3,6,24,6,21,38,7,16,0,0,0,3,10,6,2,5,8,108,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212365879991763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229591145617223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258072872013443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981144316081335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41435944207185904,0.0,0.0,0.116694666528362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108389774077524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4109835972717306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523903451496335,0.07077703295776867,0.0,0.0769902326161352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390304177187552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080210716657153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041119366475635,0.0,0.0,0.1489005900741772,0.0,0.15281508749677342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618337767524797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226618548316505,0.0,0.0904267010840753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958540319557398,0.20089729757223068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391724264998057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297419864068832,0.13782081466996213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132385492686364,0.0,0.1390571226965356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516466081877936,0.09588575263807213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162175581103514,0.0,0.14818124867751425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26999902595039266,0.0,0.0,0.21509472593638296,0.07899314337465235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170018391492086,0.0,0.0,0.15980641412990146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862314538538458,0.0,0.13805462436276691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UrPersonalWonderland,2019/02/03,"Do I have a Mental Illness or am I just Scheming? Ok so here's my life. I'm not really good with the mental illness stuff but I was doing some research for a project and came across something called 'Identity Disturbance'. I really felt it and I was wondering if people on here could help me. 

My dad died when I was 11. He was halfway across the globe, never got a chance to say bye. Don't really care tho, like I know he's my dad and all but he's a cheater. Never been there for me, unlike my mom. She's good.

I recently moved halfway across the globe. Basically left all my friends behind. I mean, I also left behind some toxic gold digging relatives and some b*tches, but also my realest friends who've sticked with me through everything. Kinda sucks to be me.

New school is ok. I guess the friends are ok, but I'm kinda doubtful if they're real or not. I keep my guard up.

The thing about me is I don't know who I am(typical, cliché, sorry) Sometimes I'm shy, sometimes I'm definitely not. Sometimes I'm serious, sometimes I make jokes out of everything. Maybe it's why I'm a good actor. 
The only thing really consistent is how bad I am at gym. Maybe it's because I can't change that.

I'm a really nice person because that's an instinct, you see, if you're nice to someone, they let your guard down and tell you their deepest secrets. I don't use them unless absolutely necessary tho, I don't think I'm that type of person. It's kinda interesting, seeing behind the masks the everyday person wears. You should try it sometime.

Maybe I got this before I moved, cause school was real competitive there. I'm smart, go to a good school, and therefore there's a lot of scheming and backstabbing and drama there. I like that kind of environment, because it shows you who's truly your friend. This new school has no drama, so you don't really know who to trust.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm genuinely nice. Like I'm a good person to talk to, but sometimes it feels like my mind is telling me to have ulterior motives and I don't really know if I'm actually nice or not.

I've set goals for myself, but then again, I could be just doing it for attention. I am the type of person to do stuff for attention, but I'm also not????

So do I have a mental illness, or am I just a two-faced, scheming liar?

I know this sounds confusing. I'll answer questions or provide extra stuff in the comments. Thanks for understanding.

By the way, it definitely occurred to me that I could be posting this for attention. Am I though? I don't know.


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mentalhealth,desibatman93,2019/02/03,"Is it normal to hate myself? Im a 25 year old male. Whenever i see myself in either the mirror or on pictures, i get disgusted. Like i don’t like to see what im seeing. Even if ive tried to change appearance by exercising alot. Im embarrassed and angry on myself for being the person i am. I try to exclude myself from friends and family to try and not show what kind of an embarrassment i am. I get  a feeling that people don’t like me for who i am. Whenever i hear people talk to each other I automatically think that they’re talking bad things and judging me. I have really bad self esteem and occasionally anxiety. I even wish that i died early in life so the people around me wouldn’t see what kind of an embarrassment i am. 

Is this normal? Is there anyway to “get rid off”these thoughts and feelings?",2.740201577563539,4.564125233128833,5.021879929886066,79.79541411042949,75.80981595092024,7.847326906222611,23.91279579316389,8.634040054169528,1.6986795793163894,635,20,125,13,14,222,93,163,0.195,0.7190000000000001,0.086,-0.9618,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,6,13,2,3,8,0,13,2,0,0,0,22,28,9,1,5,4,0,2,3,1,1,2,1,0,3,11,8,0,0,4,2,0,1,4,7,0,0,1,7,22,6,18,25,3,9,0,0,4,0,8,5,0,4,6,87,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529550450702673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089347236633036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080210469459001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177825977571547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928371545560527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455426712679988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743325751042395,0.0,0.12597239944862124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962422664288582,0.0,0.1952476316344169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298682123030885,0.0,0.0,0.14039914213735666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036700625729969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594404144746721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798728612808987,0.1825754373225664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441037786567048,0.0,0.0,0.1307149795208591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590829034608581,0.10876948566241856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980256051930354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970637952647828,0.0,0.1299533987924226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002488649563848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275859516912418,0.07981925477017897,0.0,0.09889445314176852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253724014471074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324904483189954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021882364085971
mentalhealth,CompleteTurnover,2019/02/03,"Why does suicide just ""feel"" right? When I think rationally I can easily tell myself that this shit isn't  worth killing myself over but no matter how many reasons not to do it I  bring there is still that one part of my brain that just makes me feel  like I should. This is not just with suicide but with other things  aswell. Does anyone else have this? I just want to actually listen to my  own rational advice. ",3.3597857142857137,5.423705550000001,3.6171428571428565,89.48500000000001,74.75,6.571428571428572,20.17857142857143,7.447530270364453,0.4404821428571433,324,7,66,4,7,100,57,80,0.179,0.7120000000000001,0.109,-0.8523,0,0,0,0,0,3,7.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,2,0,0,0,7,2,2,3,0,19,14,4,3,2,8,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,0,4,0,1,1,4,2,0,1,0,3,10,1,7,13,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,49,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.1928853040424098,0.0,0.0,0.1931487180093857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382067888956298,0.2025235681332328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22065124962783314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34594299351847807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651175609839476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988324186660889,0.14120662812417414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21867884773627166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656551873527043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193798207988264,0.2003937816638848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393790441089187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140439179801595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20322493146149714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879850944932773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028926848205741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784961377961765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43241066406726425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727614535207591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131492586578547,0.12665100828969542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658357294333695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835523930430333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ran4dom4red4ditor4,2019/02/03,"Worried I broke something. ""Diagnosed"" OCD/BPD.

​

im worrying im going psychotic. 

​

can't describe in any other way than poetry.

​

I don't like what I've become.

I want to manifest a better reality.

I went too deep. I said I wanted to simplify things not complicate,

but i don't know what want. I'm trying to stop myself from going crazy.

I'm stuck here now, though. Permanently changed.

I could feel it, like a switch.

What happened to me. Time changed.

I'm concerned. I want to have hope

I need hope

I will succeed.

I need to believe that.

I stretched myself too thin. I need to heal this.

Where do I find someone who can help me?",0.3053065539112083,2.627127046511632,2.155732910500351,90.05085095137423,100.24031007751938,5.136152219873151,22.917899929527835,6.7829847944221076,1.132454263565891,515,22,100,9,22,169,80,129,0.142,0.6859999999999999,0.172,0.6937,0,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,0,0,16,28,2,0,10,2,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,3,3,19,6,10,23,0,12,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,2,5,56,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549706754919222,0.39808803924199976,0.07426313640303657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060832906325886,0.0,0.12303662481768513,0.0,0.0965829371304139,0.0,0.0,0.13753985904787855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310487937457702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719129655067462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084076372146698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521732300039823,0.07801606499991598,0.0,0.0,0.09981138030022332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412742222693128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656960992706318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319780128186003,0.0,0.0,0.21693038671862602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23592025267169836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060016205257259835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670408162110516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24292234384129785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387895094911098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252903165531076,0.0840713347687143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130025955405847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255094132546891,0.0,0.10729334590564914,0.0,0.0636783065040582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414301821313415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576477244870269,0.08668183612565288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123411763283567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218059317969452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39808803924199976,0.0
mentalhealth,Tiff-anychen,2019/02/03,"I feel like I don’t deserve to be sad. It cripples my mind. I’m constantly surrounded by people who, are suffering much more than me, are working much harder than me- and I’ve always, well, never felt like I had the ‘right’ to be sad. My household is an environment where, feeling sad is ‘my fault’, and, to ‘just cheer up because you’re ruining the mood in the family.’ 

I went through a bit of a rough breakup recently. This... isn’t helping things. I feel like, all my insecurities are meaningless, and I shouldn’t complain, because by suffering, I realise how easy my life is. I have everything I could ever want. A supportive family, friends, a healthy body. Since my feelings are, and will always be, insignificant, I should just get on with life, filling the expectations of others, trying to get something out of this wonderful life I’m not appreciating. 

‘Your parents work so hard each day, exhausting ourselves, why are you so sad?? You haven’t done anything!’ I scream at myself.

I’ve had a lot of horrible thoughts cross my mind, but I’ve never seen a therapist or counsellor- it’s true, it’s my own fault, but I just find it so difficult to break the illusion of ‘I’m fine. I’m mentally healthy. I’m happy. I. Am. Fine.’

The whole idea puts me in such a difficult position of extreme self loathing- why can’t I just, not feel these things, why does my sadness need to be validated, what am I doing to myself! I’m not- I’m- I’m mentally healthy! I’m fine! I’m fine! 

But I’m not. I can’t event allow myself to be miserable, because that’s the exact thing I’m not supposed to be. I want to meet everyone’s expectations, I want to impress people, I want to be charismatic, loveable, dependable, organised... but, it’s near impossible. 

I can’t help but think, that this isn’t where I wanted to be. That, the heartbreak I experienced was a lie. That, I’m perfect, I’m likeable, mature, happy, and just- stable. 

I’m at a loss. I’ve trapped myself into a corner and I can feel myself spiralling. 

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mentalhealth,-Black-Snow-,2019/02/03,"Can someone explain to me what exactly it feels like to feel empathy? I find of the topic of empathy confusing. I know I have cognitive empathy, I’m not sure if I have emotional empathy though. I’m not sure what empathy feels like and I was wondering if somebody could explain it to me.",2.4130952380952384,4.968523642857143,5.117857142857143,74.99380952380955,80.42857142857143,10.876190476190477,34.333333333333336,10.504223727775694,4.989283333333333,228,14,41,10,6,81,32,56,0.105,0.7759999999999999,0.119,0.1965,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,0,3,18,14,4,0,3,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,7,4,5,12,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20789241329030472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29289269416804564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949681787554821,0.3720313533546214,0.0,0.0,0.2379827981155219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430981559060379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544172401799841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22061931008283325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4908105398347294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25582223791514713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823712346564773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blackygreen,2019/02/03,"Can anyone relate to this feeling? So I've been in therapy for a while and seem to be doing well but recently I've hit a bout of really bad days. Its crazy to me because it seems like everything is going well in my life but I just feel like I'm just pretending to be okay. I just feel so removed from real life and everyone around me...

Any advice on how to move out of this weird place?",1.7737282229965174,3.328513585365858,3.800522648083625,88.67914634146345,77.78048780487805,7.612543554006969,21.470383275261323,8.418075326091056,1.0930188153310103,302,8,67,6,7,103,58,82,0.115,0.7070000000000001,0.17800000000000002,0.406,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,2,1,6,2,0,1,0,16,14,8,0,0,5,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,1,0,3,0,2,2,0,1,3,5,5,14,10,0,12,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,2,5,44,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643253481436648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366991831040709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405565108125821,0.0,0.0,0.17894870361753554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678416947444855,0.12253875175213252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964002752190912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19208138355798626,0.18066208263667535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30492233345962305,0.14360735179030948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424320356702428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839700200825785,0.19641455367994332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21365039940995584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21002110216953826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22880257596706674,0.12877732517126206,0.0,0.19848109646489856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659986085945537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22988168581256402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36147877854331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,idkusernamestuff,2019/02/03,"multiple things (quick overview- almost 16, female, chaotic home life, suffer with social and general anxiety and recovering from anorexia)

main issue: i feel like things at home are really starting to impact my mental health / self esteem. There are always constant arguments, and everyone's stressed and annoyed all the time because of work and many other issues (myself being one of them). I always get dragged down in how i'm feeling, nomatter how good i was feeling prior to any interactions- they'll always manage to say something or act in a certain way towards me that just crushes my mood completely. They then get annoyed at me for feeling 'down' and tell me to 'just cheer up' but don't seem to care that they are the reason for the down-ness. I'm stuck in this loop of trying to be happy and then getting shot down by conversations with them. I feel i'm constantly being berated for things that aren't my fault or in my control, and they always seem to think negatively of me. I then feel really bad about myself (which doesn't exactly help with motivation for anorexia recovery) and can't help but start to believe some of the things they say. I know they probably don't mean to make me feel this way, and want me to be okay, but it's becoming a major issue in my life and I don't know how to avoid it. Any time i try to bring this up with my mum, she shrugs it off saying that's just how it is and standing by my impressions of how she thinks of me.
I also used to feel like home was my safe place, and school was the place i worried about, but now i've noticed those roles have switched, as i'm constantly avoiding negativity from home and the people i interact with at school seem much more positive than the experiences i have at home.

another thing: i get on really well with one of my teachers at school, who helped me last year with some of the social anxiety / speaking side of things, and this year i see him regularly to talk about the anorexia, anxiety and other things that are on my mind. He's really helpful with everything, and i feel i should mention more about my home life since i feel it's significantly impacting my mood, but i don't like feeling like i'm just moaning about everything all the time. 

Is this something i should bring up with the teacher or does anyone have any suggestions for how to deal with home issues / how to bring it up so they listen?

Thanks",10.128069419237754,7.140656530172419,9.548865698729582,70.0984936479129,60.206896551724135,12.958076225045373,39.076225045372055,11.10113133989139,4.0937603448275866,1906,68,363,37,19,614,202,464,0.105,0.772,0.123,0.8996,0,2,2,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,9,3,22,24,2,3,13,1,26,4,0,12,4,85,67,38,0,3,12,1,11,4,0,3,4,5,7,1,28,27,0,4,21,0,0,4,9,8,1,2,4,17,53,14,73,56,9,48,0,1,1,0,36,24,0,9,21,249,81,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060964136564682435,0.0,0.0,0.04868700030720325,0.20263350152425175,0.0,0.0,0.12420474446138904,0.06383967485869768,0.1397227915455115,0.0,0.0,0.04256983621857829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083360005605494,0.03711286344801856,0.0672389533434099,0.0,0.06859272439889175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620728573939901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383320817239115,0.1973741705444264,0.06828390078090305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276626504257107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053277905856591284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817498592864492,0.10943292806984048,0.05955389536022247,0.0,0.0,0.3386192758981747,0.1304814997929641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723251054466125,0.0,0.0,0.05106460468642215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480960431808802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064714302864094,0.0,0.0,0.16323063534524987,0.0,0.427484521033262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541783268673282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691787966028173,0.049626636672938616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900744166188746,0.1189747146220688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040638946415228666,0.061724395254529066,0.0,0.06631791969210303,0.0,0.0,0.0613543418428044,0.0,0.06147306917123329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04475498736198597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931411477743668,0.0,0.0,0.08250990707174377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04220764161207173,0.0,0.12721664574789962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564067111656806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560092694252195,0.06259643333715635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524649602136702,0.0,0.18484631429346216,0.048514759591798746,0.1662729894263601,0.06351279543225298,0.0,0.0,0.05036189566956253,0.0,0.0,0.1241222656914812,0.0,0.0937392732315669,0.0,0.0,0.08618463167907639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973967681874381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048934330743557714,0.05321320927885904,0.05605160538823836,0.0,0.0,0.28312924801167993,0.07802095284742729,0.0,0.0,0.106501666508488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266923157119171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05258216228906805,0.0,0.0,0.03590955007081755,0.0966499740149272,0.0,0.0,0.05473987761263832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04432253607141458,0.061828228677158766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841151956104098
mentalhealth,zeeveejones,2019/02/03,"Looking for support/tips Hi all! So I am a 23 year old with diagnosed Bipolar 2, GAD, and combined type ADD/ADHD. Lately I’ve been reading up on borderline personality disorder after listening to a podcast where they discussed BPD and found myself resonating a lot with what they were saying. I manage pretty well for the most part, except that I have engaged in self harm twice in last 3 years (which is an improvement). I do it to get my emotions under control and it works, I calm down immediately afterwards, but obviously it is not healthy and I really want to find solid alternatives. My emotions are all over the place, I go from feeling great to feeling empty, lonely, and depressed. Whenever someone close to me has an issue with me (even something small), I feel like they’re gonna leave me, or want nothing to do with me anymore. I know it is irrational, but my thoughts immediately go to this really dark place, like nobody is ever gonna want to be around me, I can’t do anything right, I can’t keep anyone happy, etc. Which sets me off. I cry, have panic attacks, and feel overall like shit. I can tell it’s taking a toll on my SO because lately when this does happen they will say things like “don’t hurt yourself” or “I don’t have the energy to do this right now”. Also, I’m extremely sensitive to changes in the people around me, like if they speak to me differently or look at me differently, I start worrying that they have a problem with me when usually it has nothing to do with me. I want to be better and have the ability to handle a negative situation without losing control of my emotions. I guess I’m just wondering what has worked for others like me? When you feel like you’re starting to lose it what do you do to stay calm? Thanks for reading! ",5.874313399778515,6.254251569767443,6.783455149501663,75.60484496124032,66.73255813953489,9.691915836101883,32.950719822812836,9.606745405546679,3.0602324473975635,1396,57,260,27,21,466,190,344,0.14800000000000002,0.6659999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.8418,2,2,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,5,7,14,25,2,1,13,0,31,3,1,2,4,51,61,19,0,6,10,0,5,7,0,3,2,4,0,2,19,16,0,3,10,2,0,2,7,10,1,1,4,11,42,15,44,52,6,40,0,5,2,0,16,20,1,8,23,183,61,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135193870320892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744111028075686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363572545747433,0.05896762998204547,0.0,0.069398915192189,0.15014858976907622,0.0,0.09594102003462912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140864503542192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458573020722377,0.0,0.0,0.10621452530308542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921318561557738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891733749833756,0.0,0.0,0.0926358963627222,0.0,0.0,0.07263593310620077,0.08559627139656177,0.0,0.17622017748673496,0.09665298252506158,0.0,0.07380042109249749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845899937992359,0.0,0.0,0.09405364411164104,0.0557011847098464,0.07628407263480216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21320662212373045,0.12049509672823157,0.0,0.0,0.07707888063738327,0.0,0.0,0.09246683736090323,0.0,0.0,0.0440605383408194,0.0,0.09585683248620804,0.0,0.0,0.09297748626286034,0.09290236328242624,0.0,0.07457543833556332,0.08977410077617218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028027513209344,0.0,0.0,0.08802179465296392,0.0,0.0749590904481041,0.0,0.0,0.046347239236833565,0.06874269220951645,0.1902627092527255,0.08929652409863131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884060816631877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163704575267866,0.18869422464155533,0.0,0.07169694403797124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183967349436199,0.0,0.08849335050089813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894666457915374,0.0,0.09132447585402544,0.0,0.05846591892475345,0.07363636710810817,0.17622017748673496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579703097404708,0.0,0.08069534021785214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871174510423814,0.0,0.10805182366688022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440399292432082,0.0,0.13413005380303766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879777643715708,0.0,0.08656666477938628,0.0,0.0947938825502187,0.0,0.0,0.07145512029790455,0.06492370266969168,0.0,0.0,0.11938273487584446,0.08988781131625155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570014669100753,0.0,0.0,0.06340795884714398,0.0,0.07371080355586354,0.077642542702356,0.0,0.0,0.05602713167311146,0.0,0.0,0.06695102226652325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288094100652784,0.0,0.198967273496212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758255406892029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129405156902443,0.091455596218984,0.12279093081332625,0.08564430674245503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861543953480132
mentalhealth,JSG3003,2019/02/03,"How do you know if it's too soon to go back to work? People keep saying to me ""don't come back until you're ready"". But I'm not really sure what ready feels like. 

I suffer from depression and anxiety. I've not been to work for nearly 4 months. I'm due to go back tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it but I'm not ""not"" looking forward to it either. I'm completely indifferent towards it, that could be the meds though as I've heard people feel kind of zombied on antidepressants at times. 

My depression isn't gone. In general it's better than it was, in the sense that my good days are better and slightly more frequent but my bad days are still just as bad. 

I don't even know what kind of answer/discussion I'm hoping for here. It's just I've been going over and over this shit in my head all weekend and I feel like maybe typing it out will be kind of cathartic and possibly even lead to an epiphany of some kind. 

I think the routine of work will help. It's at least a semi-decent distraction. It should also help my family feel a little better, have them worry less if things are getting back to normal. I feel like it's a net positive. 

But if it goes wrong and I end up off sick long term again I'm afraid they'll think I'm taking the piss and it'll be a black mark on my record for any future employment. ",1.9735770156438013,3.6479713321299614,3.5228023465703977,90.36280761131172,77.55595667870037,6.782731648616125,20.92794825511432,7.6454224807358475,0.6284489771359802,1037,26,228,15,24,343,147,277,0.163,0.703,0.134,-0.8681,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,2,7,16,23,2,2,9,0,20,4,3,2,2,45,49,21,0,7,15,0,5,3,0,5,1,2,0,0,19,10,0,1,9,1,0,8,8,10,0,0,5,10,16,13,36,35,7,43,0,3,3,0,7,17,2,5,25,140,35,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081433306197154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872144873337442,0.0,0.07730745470084473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31082286771479906,0.1687548405014916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681270823186671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705067349424711,0.1059551443528666,0.0,0.0,0.08068487955295445,0.0,0.0,0.13034533642176266,0.0,0.17407852468248888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950549514252598,0.0,0.0,0.13349288214112734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526646909865852,0.0,0.2554843907461794,0.2165829752533361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279751483244391,0.0,0.17229711865411834,0.08476085905411343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371246483370904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547122278507456,0.0,0.0,0.1003712687859597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982308974862789,0.0,0.4209365004849772,0.11107531333917144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811236294216246,0.10128451795454636,0.0,0.08943125420997006,0.16972293815626396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152419210337818,0.0,0.11225027672813352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066182165645673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901328456378944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011881551444189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392529587442644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473897026173545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036367429697956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103732385935252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070333866791718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952439501353668,0.0,0.07598142859333973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713702162803348,0.12950502658697394,0.09928686731019597,0.0,0.058926483418330323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207096043887881,0.1026271290779933,0.0,0.0,0.11048871661272798,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,passeddowne,2019/02/03,"New to social media, boot me if inappropriate. Or help start a very long overdue conversation. I have not used social media (aside from reddit) in years. It helps me stay grounded. I’m 29 years old and today, I created my first ever twitter account. I’m not sure how to use it and I don’t entirely understand what a tweet is but, my life goals are raising mental health awareness, eradicating stigma and helping others who suffer. I have been treating my bipolar 1, anxiety and PTSD for ten years now. I was an art major in college and I want to create a body of work to fund awareness in mental health. I am a suicide survivor. I am no one. I have no connections, hardly any friends and no online presence. I know it’s a stretch but I created a Twitter account explaining who I am and reached out to kanye west, Pete Davidson and Evan rachel wood. I want to collaborate with anyone who wants help the cause. I don’t have a voice, they do. Maybe this is just another lost cause of a manic idea but, Be my first follower. @passeddown24 let’s see if we can start a very big conversation.",2.220179270554297,4.772112180094791,3.7584422007006,84.45617968267055,81.22748815165879,6.323593653410264,25.761590768596744,7.586124646067393,1.614565464661034,854,35,160,14,23,282,131,211,0.12,0.75,0.13,-0.4115,1,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,1,0,1,5,4,5,0,0,11,0,18,5,1,5,2,34,33,15,1,5,9,0,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,9,11,0,0,4,1,3,1,7,2,0,4,3,3,22,3,15,28,1,23,0,2,1,0,15,8,0,3,13,102,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498018425590773,0.1310362343046206,0.0955975443754362,0.0,0.0,0.08737812411159175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880745203936307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25674604706285004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303759653306332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125895773891468,0.0,0.0,0.09654730706679784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194369789860048,0.0,0.0,0.2656629618408615,0.0,0.0,0.3350444347677962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106977457741982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867725264689704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277847265592855,0.08826616253953569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105897009023518,0.0,0.0,0.13641357628830753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554369429623655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518697637829265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069154824979755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112928170035715,0.0,0.08467921820902309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146076880313352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958057303979458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25477125824291985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690111384735938,0.13319559113537774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669094323788306,0.0,0.11777761646391485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845178870228627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009251137538602,0.0,0.21585850971843326,0.0,0.2062176944204682,0.22112200104095955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097568611500538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414192335438105
mentalhealth,Shakal4,2019/02/03,"Idk if this is thw correct subreddit but I'm scared of any emotions 
Im scared of crying it feels like my tears burn my face and eyes
When I'm happy I feel like I'm about to die
When I love I get problems controlling any other emotions ,rage sadness happiness euphoria 
I don't think it's serious but I'm just gonna put it out there 
Any emotions bring me pain
I may sound edgy ,but I mean it I try to keep myself neutral
But mostly it doesn't work 
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mentalhealth,TigerKattbii,2019/02/03,"Insurance wont cover any therapists/psychologist in my area and its becoming to hard to go to work Just wanting to rant since nobody in my house understands. It's becoming increasingly painful to leave the house at all. Every feeling of dread has started making me physically ill and taking a huge toll on my work. I missed my allotted amount of work days for the year already and really can't afford to just use all my vacation days but it's getting to the point if I don't bills aren't paid. I'm in Arkansas and none of the psychiatrist/therapists will accept my insurance and expect me to pay close to 200$ a visit and require a therapist to see a psychiatrist. And they want me to see a therapist twice a month. That's 600$ a month. That's more than my rent and I can barely afford rent. My primary care has agreed to help as long as she can but she won't flip meds around like a psychiatrist would. She'll put me on a low dose of something for 3 months, it quits working, just up the dose a tiny bit even though the side effects are messing with me. Idk what to do anymore. I'm scared of not having enough to cover bills. I'm barely eating now since I can barely afford anything even with household helping on the bills. And if a psychiatrist or therapist does take my insurance the way insurance bills it is considered out patient and still close to 100$. Most places around here will not scale payment either. Or let me slowly pay it off, pretty much preventing me from getting the help I need. I'm chronic bipolar depression with major anxiety and PTSD. Insurance knows it's in my file and they know very well my agoraphobia is making any job extremely difficult. ",4.712224770642202,6.158417168195719,5.601425840978592,79.1707626146789,69.97859327217125,9.364373088685015,29.22133027522936,9.725611199111238,2.779522018348624,1342,51,254,32,24,440,176,327,0.104,0.79,0.106,0.7615,6,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,7,12,12,0,2,20,0,20,7,0,4,2,52,45,21,0,7,12,0,2,1,0,6,6,0,2,0,10,20,1,2,6,0,9,4,8,8,1,1,1,4,28,4,42,37,13,36,0,3,2,0,9,21,0,6,11,159,38,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717538901271688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209115976792835,0.0,0.07429726481582385,0.0,0.09631789027496923,0.0,0.0,0.0799222708013922,0.17291648174526372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145249289927159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060309288567522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902128649155888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526996284007175,0.0,0.08365013631047331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499120229007884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937898333506164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035190868075602,0.0,0.12829494974122496,0.0,0.08182859345986536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910727305414932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148338103493684,0.0,0.05519607693369738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700129926529772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952943869346439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22412908494086234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637756192243437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067502739754651,0.0,0.0,0.10283706828658204,0.0,0.09931275673052092,0.0,0.04744839289041645,0.0,0.0,0.08594898904072705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296579833647898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787948675832572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23256305930627305,0.0,0.07139507687503988,0.0720139575876851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334354375740293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147072693255443,0.0,0.09181069483157037,0.0,0.0,0.09880692694509158,0.0,0.0,0.11352919921758188,0.09763338485812847,0.0,0.10330009059804716,0.0,0.0,0.06221817075795338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723501893755844,0.0,0.1547856538363169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067891534945136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476845613258498,0.0,0.0,0.06874271189495441,0.0,0.0775609201950073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604574275868087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510596578483696,0.0,0.0,0.09542084527067722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110633940819286,0.0,0.08388132228750225,0.0,0.0801349592825054,0.11456891126425502,0.07709009354594683,0.0,0.0,0.08732340238809007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828208480562022,0.0,0.0,0.0689919399630567,0.0,0.0,0.06254271084549802
mentalhealth,Nikaea,2019/02/03,"Advice on how to seek help? 22/F/USA
I want to get help, I do, but I dont know how to get it.

I think my depression is getting bad again. I haven't told anyone how bad it's getting but I can feel it creeping up on me. I want to catch it before it catches me, though. I've finally started going back to college and work on my life so I dont want to lose what progress I've made.

Without going into too much detail, I've had depression since I was 9 or 10, and anxiety I can trace back to about 13/14. I was homeschooled so I lived in isolation. I've wondered if my issues are something underlying displaying itself as depression/anxiety, though, and I have for some time. While the closest thing I can fit the definition for is borderline personality disorder (not looking to self diagnose here tho), mental illness runs in my dads side of the family. My dad exhibits signs of it (depression, religious fanaticism, paranoia) but never sought treatment, and his mom was definitely suffering from something that displayed itself as intense paranoia and anxiety but was ultimately undiagnosed as far as I know. I do know at one point she was institutionalized. I dont want to get to the point that they were, that's for sure. I want to get help. 

But I have no freaking clue how.

The only therapy I've ever sought was after a suicide attempt when I was 15 or 16, and I had a reeeeaaally bad therapist. She sort of soured me away from seeking treatment for a lot of years, alongside this sustained belief I had in myself that if I cant ""fix"" my depression by myself then I'm just weak and worthless. Well obviously that's false, and it's not a belief i hold towards others, only myself. But as this new wave of depression begins to swell I need advice on how to find a GOOD therapist. 

How do I open up to a therapist? While I'm great at monologing I need answers and advice, not just a listening ear. If there is something underlying I need it to be addressed.

I do struggle with suicidal thoughts. I wont act on them (in the 13 years I've had depression I've attempted once but that was heavily encouraged by a ""friend"" I had, so I was more doing it for her than myself) but I need to be able to talk about how to work against them without fear of getting thrown in a psyche ward. Any advice on that would be great, because it's just ideation, not intent. 

Do therapists really overprescribe medication? I'm nervous that I'll get a diagnosis and will get super medicated and won't really get any actual help, just pills. I dont know if that really happens, but it's always been used as a sort of ""threat"" from those around me of what will happen if I seek treatment. I want to avoid medication overall, but I've opened up to the idea of something helping. I just dont want to become dependent. 

How do I know if a therapist is right for me? I dont want to find out too late that I have a therapist giving me bad advice like what happened before.

Thanks for listening and any advice would be great.
For the record I have Kaiser Permanente so if anyone has advice on how to get treatment that would be great too, lol, I dont even know where to start.


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mentalhealth,plantsoda,2019/02/03,What is the process for somebody who has drank alcohol and recreationally took their old depression treatment (pregabalin) and contacts the crisis team that they’re suicidal? [UK] Any advice? What’s the process? ,6.785588235294122,10.636404911764707,5.077941176470588,73.79573529411766,73.41176470588233,9.282352941176473,37.911764705882355,9.516144504307137,4.898258823529412,173,10,24,5,4,50,29,34,0.307,0.693,0.0,-0.9305,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,13,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738212626292348,0.0,0.4088272360149574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601456081429713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294878418807575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014195430615218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41844518069262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4250246587184551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Metal_Snake69,2019/02/03,"I need help with my anger and my communication Hey, recently I've got into a fight with my mom (literally 20 minutes ago) and it all started because of me, and it's not the first time.

Today I just got up and felt like crap, no reason at all, and my parents realized that I looked disoriented and a little pissed (when I'm waking up and I have to be automatically in a rush I get pissed, my parents know this so they mixed this to feelings) I told them it was nothing, it is nothing, but, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't put myself together and decided not to talk for a while in breakfast.
Then I just realized I was really hungry.

And I thought that was it, I talked to my parents normally and everything started to go nicely.
But then (20 minutes ago) we started talking about what was I doing with school, my homework and my failed class that I have to study for and exam, I don't know why, but I started to interrupt my mom, and she had it, so she screamed ""why are you like this"" ""I'm not talking to you"" ""talked to your dad"" and left, I felt like shit, cause I know my mom isn't the easiest person to deal with, but this was my fault and I was a nasty when there wasn't a reason to be.

This is not the first time this happens, and I know what happens next.

What will happen is that my mom is going to be more calmed and she will talk to me about something else, sometimes we start talking again but sometimes I don't know how to react or do so I become shy, she gets pissed again and storms off to her room.

I've been thinking of how I act around people and most of the time I'm rude or nasty for no reason, I know that I have wrath problems and OCD and I'm capable of going into a rampage because a fly is bugging me, but sometimes I get angry out of fucking nowhere. My parents always taught me to treat people the way you like to be treated, to think before acting and to try to be calmed in situations where you need to, but apparently I need a little more than that. I go to therapy and my therapist and group members (I'm in group sessions) know about my wrath and OCD issues, but I don't know how to control myself.

If you know what to do or know little stuff about this, please let me know, I've tried to talk to people but it hasn't been helpful, thank you.",5.341100992031227,4.637813854122623,6.148974630021143,83.37995568385105,67.96405919661734,8.883688404618637,30.243047650024394,8.012643519586192,1.8315530004878844,1775,57,387,19,26,587,188,473,0.162,0.767,0.071,-0.992,5,0,1,0,1,0,54.0,2,7,2,4,21,23,9,0,14,0,36,8,6,10,2,95,83,50,0,7,20,9,4,4,0,2,0,1,2,1,25,35,1,1,23,0,0,8,14,13,0,2,17,6,67,10,55,57,5,49,0,1,1,1,42,18,6,5,26,268,92,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168188727873372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241658326942016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607858138135259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680189041423091,0.06957262585627652,0.05360379517788025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471284350032175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065384044236453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494470328679912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052623934804108576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661551661932612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031851980569907075,0.0,0.12096945823544696,0.0,0.0,0.10716640983388297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823752559147095,0.09873629138383276,0.0,0.14320521264445768,0.0,0.10076512962367262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167117844830225,0.0,0.056430820149578315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844479528343998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575003311547005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808222474117423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844385597126566,0.06441628298595123,0.0,0.12310398801842345,0.1894115226667048,0.0,0.0,0.052899628355296116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951142237468081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012917243332315,0.0,0.0,0.06699550968968422,0.0,0.06172136792540355,0.1208901037930934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797923519796992,0.0,0.0,0.13101764582004524,0.05500448604745633,0.0,0.06914919302755734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027735872128396,0.0,0.06332700807976557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04035597667767548,0.19430693162017376,0.06219960299101158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375393441739814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466308825423142,0.0,0.07080860986070553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04849634817537112,0.18690991632794074,0.0,0.22293963678113446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211378650339141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.405061615633552,0.0,0.057996996925321224,0.07203985592136551,0.07314162731970945,0.0,0.08072883784613911,0.0,0.05001070414996643,0.11019803593940372,0.0,0.05971154884225185,0.06019407395496661,0.0,0.128307667622821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050002209632985135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368572100012192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,katajkvs,2019/02/03,"I feel like I disappoint everyone I struggle with depression and self harming. My mom saw my scars, all over my arm and I am so disappointed in myself and I feel like I just made her hate me. This just happened so now I’m sitting in the bathroom bailing my eyes out and trying to not do something I’d regret. why does it have to me? I don’t deserve to be sad and there are a lot of people that have bigger problems than mine but no, I have to make myself bleed after a fight about some pointless shit I’d already forgotten about. I hate being like this and I hate myself for it. ",2.428750000000001,4.028024375000001,3.938333333333337,88.20000000000002,76.08333333333334,6.466666666666668,25.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,1.0782333333333334,455,16,95,5,10,151,78,120,0.313,0.637,0.05,-0.9868,0,0,1,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,8,16,5,1,3,0,9,4,3,2,1,21,19,9,0,2,4,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,13,0,0,2,4,21,3,15,15,3,8,0,5,2,0,4,5,1,2,5,71,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20729281912371506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617915524787465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643853694931205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794949783288879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18996124324148345,0.2683945525589051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611166717515188,0.0,0.0,0.5563773389762936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275316316994483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970001881747578,0.0,0.17774450175669435,0.1253887162956503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200030572594647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022881906262546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17974332831324752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959644279708532,0.0,0.1928213005412398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461308884460716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637750739321186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753515701350948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695018685933051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lemiaw,2019/02/03,"Need help/no judgments i judge myself enough already So, i’ve always had mental issues, i tend to have episodes of time where im depressed, feel worthless, want to be alone and every little thing irritates me.  Me growing up was a little bit emotional for me personally, my dad left us ( he was cheating on my mom)and my mom was very young so she used to go out and my grandma would take care of me so i’ve always been super close to her, she was like my mother.  When i was older i went out with a really shitty guy and he became my boyfriend and everyone hated he, he used to manipulate me to steal money from my mom and grandma or anybody to give it to him to drink, and it made me feel bad but it went away when i gave it to him and he was super happy, that went on for 7 years, when i broke up i didn’t need any money for me because i was fortunate enough to have everything i needed , so then i met another guy super sweet bla bla, we had some issues a year ago and i was a fucking mess i thought i was going insane so i would drink every day, that kinda stopped when we got back and we talked and so and everythig was good, then my grandma died, i tought it was just a little scare (she was sick and drs told us for the past 5 years that she was going to die soon yet she lasted 8 years with a strong sickness) then it happened 5 days ago, when it happened i just sobbed for a min and let it go because i don’t like it when people see me cry, so then came the funeral and it was packed and i still didn’t shed a tear, i was going home (i lived with her) and then it hit me that she was gone, and my aunt told me to get out of the house (in front of everybody) because it was her house and she wanted to sell it, it made me feel like a huge burdein (more than i already feel, my mom says that to me when she’s angry or irritated) , soo i went to my bf house and here i am, so yesterday my mom invited me to a bbq on her house, there where a lot of people mostly family and so, and we were drunk, and i was super drunk so i grabbed my moms bag and stole some money from her and went back to my boyfriends, this morning she texts me super angry that i took it and then it hit me and felt super bad and got super anxious and embarrased and i told her i didnt do it, and she got mad and called me names and told me i was the worst, most evil person in the world and to never talk ti her again, and now i feel like shit and i wanted to go home but then i realized i don’t have a home anymore and im in shock again and feel nothing just pure embarrasement and sick to my stomach,   I don’t know if im gonna ever stop being a burdein or an awful person 😭.  ( i just turned 30 and that went bad, and i don’t work because anytime i go to a job they say i don’t have experience or i get super freaked up, anxious, and never feel good enough to do anything, because i probably ain’t good enough anyways). 

Thanks for reading.. hoping for some advice in how to get out of this depression and mood swings, i can’t controll it anymore it justs takes over my life",2.510315401909356,3.2839230995405835,4.0499501482519324,90.77248867746248,74.51301684532925,6.905073148480011,23.38825714378808,7.037575079466222,0.5972011273663287,2356,62,546,22,47,787,264,653,0.183,0.688,0.129,-0.9903,1,1,2,0,2,0,55.0,6,0,1,11,37,42,6,1,20,1,45,12,2,7,4,108,109,74,3,10,12,8,9,4,1,3,5,2,3,5,29,55,4,3,11,5,4,18,12,20,0,0,48,13,101,21,59,53,13,85,0,5,1,1,58,25,3,13,46,361,130,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074899802400112,0.0920721603162554,0.0,0.0,0.05378763750570709,0.11462023036351032,0.0,0.08642597605764821,0.0,0.0,0.03531668814327028,0.054456999157224864,0.0,0.11734056828385375,0.1030085253073757,0.0,0.0,0.04273699948662405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04879340862883564,0.07986759948462377,0.1300873784933197,0.15829146827457524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566981356595583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303010111334919,0.05939830280622685,0.05294985524711703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582480461485471,0.0,0.0,0.05704671671499281,0.06698586368860157,0.0,0.08946081728434713,0.0,0.10779793597757033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175048408946916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841840795932789,0.0,0.2146455262978592,0.0,0.0,0.04697699328588452,0.08751274260902298,0.04962486364004663,0.0466746493059561,0.0508011113248839,0.0489584582641934,0.0,0.18381462858631512,0.0742028729520364,0.04986448395265208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048011856920875784,0.08139962415423672,0.049819524962076894,0.20660577853308404,0.13067853841020835,0.1246083415367616,0.0,0.0,0.102845030560154,0.09184957606427982,0.05528437567299657,0.0,0.0512737641950826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03481005578076846,0.0,0.15628116787312527,0.05158186946860132,0.0,0.2396980088781035,0.0,0.0,0.1682918819588236,0.10841055317587572,0.05153617099589975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028541396273784037,0.04233288652324528,0.0,0.0,0.0564261030432017,0.0531057137247101,0.036682299094865485,0.1014887050763598,0.15615359397705747,0.045858397221737714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04415216364777072,0.0,0.09828182096863053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233694171251682,0.0,0.0,0.3649446402970671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552451291465507,0.08010892227898349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049831773478661134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957658080281774,0.07200855921602133,0.1360394773281822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559932985183055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05194774114220448,0.0,0.03327004982564913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259950497275874,0.05199468074102728,0.0,0.04138442478053447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053309183551211836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041474309642593084,0.08683777578611591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780953390177278,0.0834846610343669,0.0,0.04781356161579088,0.0,0.0,0.034502434093094884,0.0,0.0,0.0412295465470821,0.030282950616174708,0.0,0.0,0.19849945456018653,0.057700237310599076,0.0,0.05648893848432785,0.0,0.0,0.12493966242777825,0.08970806238593222,0.0,0.04285073083355654,0.09189550270758044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888582897302845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037808342771630636,0.0,0.0,0.07378440260060755,0.0,0.0,0.13377436724430833
mentalhealth,via888,2019/02/03,"i just want to get away Hi, i’m a 16f and lately i havent been myself. i struggle from anxiety depression and ptsd. i am on an anti depressant. 
i don’t think i’m suicidal. but i feel suicidal (if that makes sense). i’m just really sad all of the time and i’m so tired..like i don’t want to be alive..there is a lot of stuff going on in my home life. and there is an adolescent mental health department at a hospital close to my house. 
would it be a bad idea to try and get admitted for just a week or so? so i can truly figure out what is going on with me? ",-1.3738709677419365,0.5816157258064543,1.9921774193548387,94.58326612903228,93.35483870967742,6.325806451612903,15.81451612903226,7.6454224807358475,0.2583000000000002,426,10,105,10,16,153,80,124,0.206,0.711,0.083,-0.9552,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,8,0,12,2,0,1,1,25,26,11,2,4,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,8,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,1,1,12,0,16,22,2,14,0,3,0,0,2,8,0,3,3,69,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141602172264917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390899099503526,0.0,0.15455205508770745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188553721642973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359290083842993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934158308378905,0.0,0.2103949429010044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967542824074036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18567193793930487,0.0,0.0,0.21358232617343145,0.0,0.2089571092185668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20880260077014945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074269255286472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736671091459087,0.0,0.0,0.1235567159938869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653881704035752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163737960550365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858078699822247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350832056817385,0.2118969793568259,0.4049420854454116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186055934379441,0.0,0.0,0.10793419713864943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567179599477726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21835536946428485,0.0,0.14847729108466906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149082394563302,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kra4173,2019/02/03,"Panic attacks I've had 3 attacks today after not having one for over a month. Before that, I hadn't had one for almost 6 months. They get worse every time. 

Trying to explain what they feel like to someone who has never had one is really difficult. I did the best I could with my SO but I've only had one very minor attack in front of him. I'm hoping they stop so I don't have one tonight during the Super Bowl. ",1.4399137931034467,3.2407337241379324,3.5707902298850582,88.83135775862068,79.57471264367817,5.269540229885059,17.771551724137932,5.985473137389443,-0.1980793103448275,322,6,66,2,8,110,64,87,0.183,0.675,0.141,-0.2415,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,3,2,2,9,3,1,3,0,12,0,0,0,1,10,17,3,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,5,0,5,6,1,9,4,9,10,1,11,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,9,47,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850359276967538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5402298485584379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469230091693962,0.0,0.16611456506881844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638090559745188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336532969976395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003568660550378,0.1130817103987974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826994819201515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721671663163994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733202165643993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25268957763995026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208225354518665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5363036961938951,0.12038593555580425,0.0,0.18571806443050476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014040020194222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411777639821074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233671180721812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229960284187007,0.0,0.1500394865361317,0.0,0.0,0.10746785695586447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060502219716486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16131003850209835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NoToLateNeverTooLate,2019/02/03,"Please help guys, issues with wellbutrin/paxil So i've been on and off dozens of medications for 7 years now. Anyway, this past September my panic attacks and depression spiraled severely out of control and I decided to get back on paxil this past November 20th which I was on years earlier. I started at 10mg, then moved to 20mg, then back down to 15mg. The panic attacks and anxiety subsided slightly but I was severely emotionally dead inside and severely depressed and still having panic attacks and more.

So I decided to go on wellbutrin on January 7th (which I also was on years earlier) and my doctor put me on SR 100mg twice a day (so 200mg of SR total per day). About two weeks ago, around January 20th? I started feeling a lot better. I had energy, could focus, wanted to socialize, was making plans with a girl, and was playing basketball and enjoying going to work. This lasted until this past Friday, which was February 1st, when all of a sudden i woke up from a nap in the middle of the day to go back to work from a break and I felt depressed, panicky, not like talking to anyone, and like I wanted to die again. I had literally no idea what happened. Because even that morning I was still feeling okay. Since then, yesterday on Saturday was horrific and same with now on Sunday morning.

Please if anyone can give me advice and insight i'm extremely desperate and am having serious panic attacks and depression again and can't function or talk to people once again. It's especially bad because I made plans with a girl for this week and now I'm in a horrific non-functioning state again. Please if you guys can help. I'm going to try to get into my doctor's office tomorrow but please I really need help desperately. I don't know where to go from here, if I need to up doses, or if I'm totally screwed and what I felt was just a honeymoon fluke. I'm in so much pain.",4.501473408012917,5.9103711525885565,5.9803209203754175,76.39655666565749,70.4441416893733,9.469734584720964,30.213845998587146,9.816601858774405,3.0985534160863866,1491,61,270,37,27,506,185,367,0.259,0.6509999999999999,0.09,-0.9976,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,0,6,25,22,5,4,12,1,20,6,0,3,3,58,48,37,2,9,10,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,4,12,26,0,1,9,2,0,7,4,16,0,3,16,4,24,6,51,31,7,68,0,4,0,1,12,22,1,7,39,184,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299395091506578,0.06621520633363376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973590619339689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714371061527732,0.0,0.0,0.10446105642064098,0.0,0.0,0.06649699297785427,0.0,0.3399187082791959,0.0,0.17231428787207592,0.06236964991190652,0.09107032741843343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606424722957166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378007816932102,0.059640217441438485,0.0,0.0,0.1445219522494792,0.0,0.2573488644085927,0.0,0.07752465618898341,0.0,0.0,0.15291298946852466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402511515799327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049337277082727116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553903383840466,0.0,0.14344345054156807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780531688817332,0.07165705927777892,0.212262770050589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792538581778394,0.06605513121298323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020534012181375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432486867398889,0.0,0.07796522990909588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041052027818770695,0.060888781282133216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298726916020923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350550733189103,0.0,0.07068098578256315,0.04986144711198028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525030404022101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939207617644575,0.054911572080293375,0.11077513453160358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955085565565284,0.0,0.0,0.07948386219962894,0.35056769669679305,0.0,0.0,0.21392287413908387,0.05178613806713008,0.0,0.0,0.3279835751841456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509204954654869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047853405554267085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25316219083596764,0.0,0.0617908981135881,0.0,0.0,0.07614513086731718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574315609524364,0.0,0.11930772390248645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007873035880348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05071498994656985,0.0,0.07296902181727656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811754681711534,0.0,0.11983634458388505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876196275430636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430905007780032
mentalhealth,blackoutmind,2019/02/03,"Unbelievably severe procrastination Just made a user name to post this.... Have been suffering from effects of procrastination for more then a decade.  It was always a problem, right from the very beginning but about a decade ago it has driven my life into the ground.  I'm about to lose my job, and with it all that I've worked for all my life as I can't bring myself to do anything.  For several months now - I've put my life on hold just trying to start a task - which has become a matter of life and death - to no avail.  I just sit motionless, for hours - have yet another break - give up in frustration, only to sit back down and attempt to start again moments later.  And while I can't believe I'm typing this - haven't started yet!  Let alone approached completion.  This has been going on for months, my life is paralyzed and I'm at a standstill. It's like a surreal mind-maze  - and my life is literally on the line. ",4.894646182495342,5.767943525139668,5.5872765363128485,81.57279562383616,69.05586592178771,8.87169459962756,27.207169459962763,9.075114841892004,1.9878376163873368,717,22,144,13,12,233,107,179,0.138,0.8370000000000001,0.025,-0.9642,1,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,5,10,5,1,0,11,0,15,6,0,2,2,20,27,10,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,9,8,0,1,1,0,0,5,4,4,0,0,5,0,10,1,28,21,3,36,0,2,0,0,2,10,0,0,18,94,19,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280727406640855,0.0,0.0,0.14348556866394713,0.0,0.0,0.11527630601597393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527117854874036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140065442301388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652864172236304,0.0,0.0,0.15300644964438012,0.0,0.15608704047054447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525646319902824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329001086726079,0.07873542534732507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643390780013318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747948683049124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416664476532606,0.5871290269965067,0.0676836036872971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499072577715514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108981566178576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988581908162112,0.0,0.22116247399913427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536584686590818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268294091388358,0.0,0.0,0.13256398674583486,0.0,0.13927087778607633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831232893695255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130213362833241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941777909549321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405950709059384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430993749569715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085870684045656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chocolatelover39,2019/02/03,"Need advice! Me (26 F) and my parents are concerned about my brother internet/gaming addiction (24 M). He’s living at my parents house, never had a job, poor hygiene, doesn’t help arround the house and treats my parents like crap (yelling at them/frustration i think). He act like he knows everything and doesn’t take any advices. My brother is on the computer all day and all night. He wakes up during the afternoon and repeat...everyday (probably like 12-16 hours a day). He doesn’t have any friends (had a few in highschool but I thinks he lost touch with them). He never go out. He tried finding a job with no success. My parents and I want to help but where to start and what should with do. I’m really concerned  about him. I feel his life is passing by. ",1.4574624624624626,4.040689581081082,2.6058558558558573,91.02457957957958,85.62162162162161,5.721321321321322,25.114114114114113,7.1686216300943375,1.2822555555555557,590,25,117,9,18,188,94,148,0.051,0.805,0.14400000000000002,0.8938,6,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,0,0,1,2,3,8,1,0,7,0,11,4,2,0,4,25,22,9,0,3,2,6,2,3,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,11,0,0,5,0,1,3,6,2,0,0,3,3,14,6,14,18,3,18,0,1,0,0,20,7,1,0,11,63,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444958196898179,0.0,0.25904683356833874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027304167282085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096372892097253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912471754518515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701975739544297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114557768360155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024055011332922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532952768926023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17768695102276955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305321180402218,0.3058829367583875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630649358714518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284437740865587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362188219004426,0.19426734061243164,0.0,0.11704144963800076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469073312965314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828193801945538,0.20445687072608246,0.0,0.0,0.12438640205605755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5887111324090116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290810899708686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491301696162801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381746505908656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965886557711262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16986156058301535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999072796727801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817966831026894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anon-F-Mega,2019/02/03,"I wanted to cut but instead went out with friends I'm not always like that, but sometimes I can't help it. I felt a burning feeling of sorrow and despair in the last few days. I have this account to vent on, so I'll just admit right away that I cut and burn myself if I'm feeling like that. It helps sometimes. It's also a secret, no one IRL knows (few suspect though).

​

Anyways, I thought I'll have an empty weekend night, so I thought that I'll get to shut myself in my room and do what I do to relieve this pain. Maybe it will get better tomorrow, after I'm done. Then I got a call from one of my friends, in the only social group I count as friends, asking me if I want to go with them. Now, you have to understand that usually nothing happens unless I force it to (I'm not always that depressed, so sometimes I actually move things). If something does happen, it's once every 1 or 2 months.  

So I went out and thought that I'll just do it when I come back, but I was too tired and gave up.

​

I wouldn't even share this if I felt better, but atm I'm still suffering. It's still not ok. I still think about ""just finishing it"" and how not feeling this pain ever again will be great. I still want to hurt myself either by cutting or burning but I'm holding myself together. I still wear a mask and appear calm around people, never speaking about it honestly. It will go away soon, I know myself, it's temporary. I just want to make this one through without scarring the same place again.",3.249288537549408,4.440096441558445,4.1910502540937316,88.86620271033317,73.22077922077922,6.525352907961604,27.02766798418973,6.7026698264267655,1.0863312817617161,1176,42,246,9,23,380,160,308,0.16899999999999998,0.669,0.162,-0.5036,0,0,1,0,0,2,48.0,0,1,1,2,30,23,3,0,8,1,14,4,1,2,2,62,51,29,0,9,22,0,5,2,3,4,3,1,1,0,26,13,0,1,15,1,2,7,9,10,0,3,11,6,33,13,32,35,4,44,0,5,0,0,16,14,0,7,25,172,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.08651561583357957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089829295757673,0.1475380416069756,0.1921178079371429,0.2154538578691938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892277173595419,0.0828815346924666,0.0,0.16659074692139975,0.06817110869509765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568183242735068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052784384251174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636942504761822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717588388805653,0.0,0.07635941406023625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775835963142701,0.09072602455366104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05855655245298647,0.08019456540890403,0.0746966320147679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448164325494522,0.06333597291196491,0.17024761868375116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054865700198386,0.0,0.09263836084997794,0.0,0.10077066885910507,0.0,0.07090642388180482,0.0977437208859866,0.0,0.0,0.15679668536130548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884870018010445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949082446590759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744620548234084,0.07226659689725574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662583562959357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917867008142349,0.0,0.08906702117441202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076449493069371,0.09422745939510152,0.0,0.0,0.06837709012625444,0.0,0.0,0.08319779319387352,0.0,0.08506796919412367,0.0,0.0,0.09441590876751133,0.18022710969757905,0.06742699881752992,0.1886727935250396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06146301314887815,0.0,0.09262680964532967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571186964864861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903737825294901,0.0,0.06825183738233602,0.263049604647124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35400458871230683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058899208189139025,0.05680728261038283,0.08710421949532565,0.2111492457953617,0.0,0.10189720521315596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229418116343648,0.0,0.0,0.09764222650312973,0.0,0.20916678249482729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437028276591126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546136710761698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154538578691938,0.0
mentalhealth,yuropod88,2019/02/03,"I have issues. Could you guys read my post and maybe tell me who you think I should talk to? Hi everyone. Got some issues in my life that feel like stem from a lot of different areas. I've been encouraged by some friends recently who have told me to go see a therapist of sorts. But now that I'm looking into doing that, I don't know who to see.

The basics of me are that I am heavily addicted to tobacco, internet porn (say what you want about that, but I believe it has a negative impact on my life and it needs to go), weed, and alcohol is creeping up on me, although I do still feel like I could take it or leave it. It is the least concerning of my own addictions, that I am aware of.

I'm seeking help with all this because I've realized I am not who I expected myself to be at this point in my life. Something has gone wrong somewhere since I got out of school, or maybe even during school. I can't seem to do the things that I know I should be doing, and it is so maddening to just sit here and watch myself destroy my body, physically and mentally.

I have issues and baggage from a religious upbringing that I'm sure plays a part in all of this. I'm a people pleaser, avoider of conflict. I seek approval from everyone even though most of me lies to myself and I say to myself that I am my own person and everyone else can go fuck themselves. I have to be liked and approved of.

Some people say they do drugs and drink alcohol to numb their own pain and drown everything out. For me it is the opposite. I do these things so I can finally feel something again, because otherwise I'm dead inside and can't get out of bed until I absolutely have to go work on monday morning. When I smoke or drink, I feel alive, and that's not quite right...right? Not if you don't feel alive when you aren't smoking or drinking.

I'm horribly depressed, anxious, nervous, and just flat out tired. But have moments of clarity where I see myself differently and approach the world differently, and I wish I could be that way all the time. 

I try to eat well and exercise regularly. This helps, but it is apparently not enough. I have been exercising well for the lat 6 months. Eating better.  But I still am who I am and these things make me feel better, but apparently I can't shake all this loose on my own.

I want so badly to not be messed up like this. I want to figure this out on my own. I am strong. I know this. I don't want anyone else to help me at all. But I'm starting to think I just can't. I can't do this on my own. I need help. I feel so stupid. Doing the same thing, over and over again, expecting different results. Definition of crazy right? But I don't know where to look. I can't do this on my own, but I don't know where to start.

Sorry to wax on. Who do you guy think I should talk to about all this? A therapist? An addictions therapist? A psychiatrist? I psychologist? There are so many. 

It's just all so overwhelming I don't even know how to reach out because everything is so specific. I just want to talk to a professional about my life.",2.1422821818181816,3.9295413984000014,3.794778181818185,88.09578909090912,77.416,7.681454545454546,24.003636363636364,8.52124585384065,1.4660400000000005,2374,79,519,49,55,792,240,625,0.13699999999999998,0.727,0.135,-0.939,6,1,10,0,0,0,77.0,0,6,2,7,34,26,3,4,18,0,62,23,1,3,8,107,113,47,2,17,24,0,7,4,1,3,15,3,1,3,44,28,7,2,19,7,0,7,19,13,2,0,6,16,81,13,73,96,23,57,0,2,6,2,32,31,1,12,20,373,125,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027717412325423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252109069224768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700438331306032,0.0,0.04335275805055784,0.06352766979808859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176850464618895,0.11338627059996766,0.0,0.0,0.06985424537752806,0.0,0.1096702416794602,0.0,0.0688694790035965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485090045275732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340163806292413,0.0,0.0,0.25911269354169064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822130410502254,0.07190183630996907,0.1268856390005876,0.10358827852720134,0.0,0.0,0.06406392795826665,0.0,0.12285384292656815,0.0,0.0,0.17773472817298375,0.11144556039671644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944807938066369,0.08858749751903093,0.0,0.06791940528244049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047902058853476,0.05731921267538235,0.03239312583613202,0.0,0.140947094788539,0.0,0.09917622420427216,0.0,0.0,0.1227820908697346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623268654891216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941397798043296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204445793350442,0.0,0.0,0.06565043575911891,0.0,0.0,0.17517343740365604,0.121162834422504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041309711341848,0.0,0.0,0.05271129717760335,0.0,0.0,0.04138635634684697,0.0628595975692003,0.1245773003010923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624827383315488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04948885468153949,0.0,0.0,0.091946372551095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597376601264222,0.0,0.0,0.06714137751507171,0.0,0.08596780430619723,0.05413715300974237,0.0,0.0,0.05861127921542007,0.0,0.05938011691470025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594602583204055,0.06201808914499728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121881443205202,0.0,0.0,0.1588463417302412,0.0,0.14791779248043188,0.0,0.12549727306059888,0.14822105189681234,0.056443664663807736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051288124922997363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546327618873264,0.0,0.06940539121752798,0.08776969367875627,0.0,0.09902865364637888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058435501588596436,0.0,0.04661726949543252,0.14950291494184292,0.05419187837873999,0.0,0.0,0.21596490145398486,0.16476366334754916,0.11918380919888324,0.060915972974511436,0.0,0.03615346287620647,0.07126138589963435,0.0,0.059244909390994575,0.0,0.04209482009901781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828498972759892,0.04921375451796108,0.0,0.0,0.11149324877233986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129844745826071,0.0,0.0,0.045137692628767434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778870013233079,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,is_reddit_useful,2019/02/03,"Effects of emotional bias in my mind The way my mind works changes due to a changing emotional bias. In a bad state, my mind tends more toward negative thoughts, while in a good state it tends more toward positive thoughts. It is also possible that in an anxious state, anxious thoughts are promoted.

I don't simply mean wrong thoughts. For example, when considering a possible course of action, a bad state would increase prominence of risks and number of risks that come to mind. A good state would promote ideas about that course of action leading toward worthwhile success.

It also changes feelings, and I can have a bad gut feeling about something in a bad state and a good feeling in a good state. A negative feeling like this can connect to many negative thoughts.

This also seems to affect accessibility of emotions. In a bad state there is a tendency to feel generally unpleasant in a way which could maybe resolve into negative emotions. In a better state this unpleasantness is reduced, and there is greater access to positive emotions, some of which are practically inaccessible in a bad state.

This may also be linked to changes in my perception. While what I see still looks the same objectively, the feelings associated with that perception can be very different. A better state causes more nameless feelings to arise in visual perception, which are like essences of what I'm seeing. It also enables me to see beauty in wider variety of people and things. Music has a greater freedom to cause emotional reactions in a better state.

How much I think is also possibly linked to this emotional bias. In a bad state I tend to have a continuous inner monologue of thought, which can be worry or escapism. In a good state, thoughts aren't constant, are less frequent and tend to be more practically useful, like providing ideas and making decisions.

Is what I would identify here as a negative emotional bias the same as depression? 

I also talked about anxiety. The feelings present in a bad state are somewhat hard to categorize, but definitely anxiety is present, while sadness seems rare or at least hidden behind the scenes.

I'm surprised that I wasn't diagnosed as seriously depressed considering the disabling effects of negative emotional bias. I hope it's not just a matter of life sucking that much for most people but them somehow functioning better.

I notice I can't relate to a lot of what people post here on \/r\/depression. It seems my brain just doesn't work that way and resolve things into those kinds of emotional experiences. In a bad state it seems impossible to tell how many of the various mostly unpleasant things I feel should be labelled.",8.332020017533605,9.376327349576274,7.832586206896554,67.89593220338982,61.521186440677965,11.171361776738749,39.79281122150789,10.996428447227288,4.82344278199883,2167,111,336,55,29,683,198,472,0.159,0.6779999999999999,0.162,-0.8129,1,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,1,15,21,35,1,2,36,0,35,4,2,10,0,83,72,28,0,6,7,0,10,3,0,5,2,0,0,0,31,12,0,0,35,0,0,5,12,17,0,0,8,14,19,18,66,53,19,62,0,3,4,0,3,26,1,14,14,245,50,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678150694824748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319812346492441,0.1080958697637652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595152604725825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924973451180245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340758576843433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829399371510812,0.20244231622373016,0.04121171736150238,0.0,0.05170029436318575,0.0,0.038198009481258864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361894520660127,0.048558706098399115,0.0,0.049984792956354204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5381590281122693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679873631040537,0.0,0.0,0.21771354709076896,0.03417839289527391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200638342383825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04285710827320908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04751798227839929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801577429786267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049820166199728566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03379227733073525,0.07011967391291979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04017529949105991,0.0,0.0,0.04067362721401272,0.0,0.0,0.03193496119297134,0.09700872394538028,0.04806380171884367,0.052114052616587324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19322745804852148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033887000876385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054468527380747214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995030272061817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180427693805294,0.04581948972295852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437183550628542,0.1742145382909616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036831172027944684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03820674843522729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0384536532353098,0.04181608833827991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095352460197006,0.030655274326791587,0.0,0.2658688833203832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041320197993977945,0.0,0.03947472802638245,0.0,0.11392445332853572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965921089353283,0.048585956517202496,0.0,0.10195692705550803,0.05230780622254231,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,haz7734,2019/02/03,"Am I a narcissist? Hi guys, bit of a random one here. I’m sorry it’s so long.

I’m a 21 year old male student and basically , I like to look at myself in the mirror quite often. It’s not that I think I’m perfect or anything like that, but when I think I look good it makes me feel pretty good! I don’t take selfies or upload them on social media or anything like that, but I used to when I was a kid. I take pride in my appearance and I like to make sure I’m looking nice. 

Does this make me a narcissist? It sounds ridiculous, but I was just having a little look the other day and stupidly worried if I was one, so looked up what constitutes a narcissist and there’s a few things that worried me. 

For example, they supposedly love being the centre of attention. I love hanging out with my pals and making them laugh and entertaining them, which often does mean I’m one of the most talkative and popular people in my friendship group. I never really saw this as a bad thing though, and I always try and involve everyone and love hearing what others have to say. I’m just not very shy. Making people laugh makes me feel good, and making them happy makes me happy! I’ve always loved to be the joker, and take the piss A LOT too, but never in a malicious way.  I feel like I can read people well and can get on with almost anyone. I try to be kind to everyone that I meet, even if I obviously think some people are nobheads. But don’t we all? 

I love my friends more than anyone in the world, they’re like my family. And of course, I love my actual family! I don’t think I am superior to them or think I deserve their constant attention. I hang out with them because I love being with them! Apparently narcissists are drawn to people who worship them, and love no one. I do love being liked by others, but again, don’t we all? I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing. Plus I like us all just taking the piss out of each other. 

But this superiority thing kind of got to me a bit, where sometimes I DO feel pretty proud of myself if I’ve made a lot of people laugh or think of a good idea, or say if I’ve done a good essay I’ll say to myself ‘yes go on you genius’. I know it’s stupid, but it’s just me. And sometimes I’ll have a look at Facebook and I DO admittedly feel better than some of the people on there, but only because, as I’m sure you will all know, some of the people you see regularly posting on there have got to be some of the biggest idiots the world has ever seen (and many of them, ironically, seem a whole lot more narcissistic  than me!) 

I also like really dark humour and we love to make jokes about stuff that you wouldn’t think was that joke worthy. Like when my mum was going through chemotherapy, rather than mope about it we would just make a lot of jokes about it and have fun with it, which she loved too. Her cancer wasn’t severe, and she’s now completely fine! If it was, I’m sure things would have been different. I cried when my grandparents died years ago, but now we make jokes about them not being around. I think that’s what I would want though, people cracking jokes about me rather than feeling really sad if I was gone. If I see something sad happening in a film or tv show for example, just because up until this point I haven’t experienced that much sadness in my life, I can’t help but bloody shed a tear for them, even if it’s something like in The Simpsons when homer’s mum leaves him! Or game of thrones when Sansa and Jon are reunited, fuckkk me that gets me.  

There was another mention that they constantly like to fantasise about being in a positions of power and believe in this high image of themselves. I’ve always been creative and love to daydream, so this was bit concerning! Whether it’s randomly picturing me being a hero or being with my crush or smashing a job interview, it’s just something I’ve always enjoyed doing, especially when listening to music. I know it’s silly, but I always find it entertaining and relaxing picturing myself in these scenarios. Like after watching game of thrones, who doesn’t picture themselves being in a battle! I promise I’m not that weird! But I know these aren’t real, I know I’m not a hero, or anything like that. I just like the thrill of the imagination I guess. 

Trust me, I think I’m far, far from perfect, and know I’ve got plenty of flaws. One of the main ones clearly being overthinking as you can see. 

Sometimes I get a bit jealous of my older brother who is doing incredibly well in life since he finished his degree at Cambridge, when I’m still at uni without much of a clue as to what the future holds. He’s got an amazing girlfriend of 5 years, an amazing job, a great wage and future and can’t stop mentioning all the holidays he’s got coming up. Me-not so much. But I don’t mind. But a bit of jealously like that is surely natural right? Rather than me being a narcissist? 

I definitely feel like I emphasise with people very well and am happy for them doing well. But sometimes, I guess part of me does feel slightly happy if something goes a little wrong with someone I know, like my best friend breaking up with his girlfriend last year. I supported him all the way when it happened, and was only happy because she was not a good person, didn’t get on well with anyone, always have him grief and cheated on him, which led to their break up. It’s a bit selfish, but it felt good to have my best pal back. When my other best pal broke up with his gf, I did everything I could to make him feel better, even though I guess I didn’t feel a HUGE amount of sorrow, but mainly because I just didn’t know his girlfriend that well. When he started tearing up, I instantly felt sorry for him and thought how can I help my bud. Or if you’ve done crap in an exam for example, it can feel good if someone else hasn’t done that great either, it just puts you a bit more at ease. 

I think I can be a bit selfish from time, taking a while to clean my dishes for example, or being late when I shouldn’t be, and DEFINITELY could be less lazy with certain things. I do like to do the odd lie every now and then, whether that’s an excuse for missing a seminar because I’m hungover, or just a funny, obvious lie about one of my friends to make others laugh. Again, it’s never anything malicious, and I do it so it’s clear that whatever nonsense I’m chatting about is just a joke. I have been prone to make up the odd story in the past,  and I know that’s immature but again, I would do it to make people laugh and I enjoy telling stories. 

Basically, I appreciate you guys taking the time to read this if you have, but I just got really worried that I might be a narcissist, because I never want to come across as a dick or cause harm. I’ve met some people who like to dominate, know everything and make everything about them and show no consideration for others and I don’t want to be that. If you could let me know what you think, I’d really appreciate it. Apologies this was so long!

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mentalhealth,bloby_bubble,2019/02/03,"What to do when you have nothing left inside? Depression is so bad I can't think anymore. I can't feel. I don't enjoy anything. I don't even want anything anymore. My mind is blank and I often can't move. I've been socially isolated for a long time and so depressed and lonely and hopeless but it keeps getting worse and now I feel like I'm getting more and more catatonic because it's so crippling. All I can do is cry or lay on the floor blank for hours at a time. Lucidity is fleeting. I have nothing left to fight with, and I can't even muster up the sttength to leave the house and go to my psychologist. I've been like this for a while after years of worsening.

I tried, and worked to get better, and waited but things never got better and now I'm crippled from mental health I guess? I don't know what to do now. I can't... do things. What do I do? ",1.0493333333333332,3.0612483777777797,2.7322222222222234,93.285,81.8888888888889,5.555555555555557,22.222222222222214,6.691623216298621,0.4278888888888899,668,22,149,7,18,220,94,180,0.14400000000000002,0.741,0.115,-0.4977,0,2,0,0,1,1,21.0,0,1,0,3,10,11,1,0,6,0,23,1,0,0,2,27,38,19,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,12,0,2,4,0,0,2,9,6,0,0,3,2,17,5,16,35,3,20,0,4,0,0,3,6,0,3,14,99,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28095635829095833,0.0,0.0,0.2331308346414061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827136317775447,0.08634818204075201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25055483197964884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555952551779003,0.0,0.0,0.2440049050206457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18711623439588265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324442285338365,0.10119438608174132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22201795337215197,0.0,0.08050263934855552,0.0,0.11328999467560807,0.0,0.15604282453271584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505667276839423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949616231953638,0.1634444320580029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590452798672885,0.0,0.0,0.07784682611165697,0.0,0.0,0.149986301198217,0.3078050554798725,0.0,0.0,0.13840551983845106,0.0,0.0,0.12535529427988126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427493161731731,0.0,0.14302555163484126,0.0,0.0,0.15055093443947365,0.0,0.0,0.10924877821013253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27183291017839883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439376266735918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18821118360920072,0.09076323966350086,0.0,0.0,0.1651938516358154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617066959649344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354850794144257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312247715843208,0.0,0.14435287773305114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121759325620342
mentalhealth,Bersekker,2019/02/03,"(22m) I need help pls someone answer. First i want to say sorry for asking here if dont belong pls tell me a subrredit i can post and i will go to a therapist but   my cuntry don't have many so I haven't found one.

I have anxiety just for context but the issue in dealing is other, for all my life I keep having weird inner conflicts, i thought was teenager stuff but every year it get worse.

This inner conflicts started to feel like they were too part of my own self always arguing and at this point, I just dont recognize my own inner voice, sound like me but it say things that im not thinking or i cant recognize like my own feelings.

Is really hard to explain in because it needs so much context but for example, when i was teen i was in love with my bestfriend(f) but dor many reasons we separeted, I have his contact but I* dont really gives a fuck about her anymore, i even have a GF but still some nights when i go to sleep this inner voice tells me exactly ""do you really hate me?"" Or ""why she hate me?"" And things like this, and for a second I swear I dont remember what it refers to, but just one second later hits me like -ahh her again* then i try to ignore it but he keep talking or abour it says how much he loves her but i swear i look to her or her picture even sometimes talkto her and i feel nothing, she is so boring to me.

Another example is that I study medicine and I dress like it or at least in a practical way, but my innver voice keeps telling me that he just want a family that i should left and be anything else that i should be marry  and that I should gear just black, that im not me if i dont have pircings ,and i kind of agree but I not that, it really feel like to person arguing for who i should be.

Another its how I'm deeply Christian but not actually doing stuff cuz even though that other side agree that we are christians and that God exists, he kind of care more of other things, everytime that other side of me needs things of don't help me I kind of fall out of my balance.

Is this normal, or may I have a disorder, I can safely say i could have a trauma, for my mother leaving me and being abusive but I really thought I got better. Does anyone knows ?",1.8545588235294128,3.5261110544662344,3.590260893246189,89.76042401960787,77.8888888888889,6.681503267973857,22.150381263616556,7.554174236665415,0.7826613943355123,1710,49,373,24,40,572,206,459,0.123,0.736,0.141,0.7961,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,2,1,1,2,21,24,5,0,10,0,42,5,1,4,2,86,76,44,0,13,32,1,5,7,1,6,1,8,0,2,38,15,0,7,14,0,0,3,13,9,0,5,8,15,71,15,34,56,10,30,2,0,2,3,41,15,1,10,17,270,109,0,0.0,0.08467516926264694,0.0697402149068913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946518804423004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987603694744886,0.054671065484033936,0.0,0.07087477176394423,0.04997047964345351,0.0,0.058810182466972914,0.0,0.06681078306584869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043564827872890004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320560473851533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286404488123649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705954685328379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367799945249953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190588458817556,0.0,0.06254011634864451,0.0,0.4187863453082693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970042272059437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160726406201776,0.0,0.06021293519486185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737150240788545,0.0,0.1445408224672053,0.1021102218289492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078868857248361,0.0,0.07835845217866873,0.0,0.06606888878519969,0.0373378790178595,0.06855641221032986,0.08123120935836255,0.0,0.05715764942722479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401923060182553,0.14111516785473555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580390559675266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439044082955738,0.07459162423901786,0.0,0.1905659955030896,0.0,0.2232615897621463,0.039275680157395465,0.0,0.0,0.07567185829005617,0.07764769299982137,0.0,0.050478337950522485,0.2444017206929739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06001318955584733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900117031663452,0.0,0.0,0.14491000720481198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507102603975343,0.15897273476219229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670657189596956,0.07002121315626593,0.06857326733595688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968540167864783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739038965958354,0.0,0.0,0.06240109335772812,0.0,0.0,0.06755818698997934,0.0,0.06844438639985763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22891378950739086,0.07347864299421615,0.0,0.0,0.08095670757435812,0.0,0.0,0.22732957472365145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455431200040964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151731245122163,0.0,0.06055265635322558,0.0,0.0706814054415013,0.08000000103653801,0.05058379084176867,0.0,0.05707260095636881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362225874067604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744142321176721,0.18739251737160173,0.0,0.0,0.08297718682028146,0.1899145442070344,0.04579233539925772,0.0702146881620331,0.11347156724109032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04852051969564923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430464386124394,0.05672614682207165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448667917239187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282965457719487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602156820522663
mentalhealth,MasuTaguchi,2019/02/03,"Every single day feels exactly the same and its getting to me I dont know what exactly it is, It could be the age I'm at but it doesnt feel like that. It started in my sophomore year of highschool, when everyday started too feel exactly like the last. It almost got to the point where if I had a full 5 day week of school I wouldn't be able to tell what day it was the monotony was driving me insane. Every single day I wake up at 630 go to school hear the same things from all my classes, head home, walk the dog, eat dinner, watch 4 hours of shows and then go too sleep around 1 am. Its such a stupid problem like im such a white boy but I really need help. How can I change my life so that I cant tell monday from friday. I have great friendships so that not it but I don't know. IS there anyone else out there who feels like this. I feel like im wasting away the precious youth I was given, Do I even deserve this im just wasting something, the most precious thing a human is given. I dont know im confused and angry its not that my life sucks or anything its just so Godamn repetitive and I cant break the cycle. This was mostly a vent but if you can help please help me",0.7014229249011841,2.5871065415019743,2.3022545454545487,96.58138181818182,82.39920948616601,4.996616600790514,19.21090909090909,5.927762680638738,-0.2979557628458505,917,23,213,6,25,299,135,253,0.155,0.713,0.132,-0.5101,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,16,12,2,1,15,0,23,7,3,1,4,40,43,17,0,6,11,0,5,5,0,1,2,1,1,2,23,6,2,0,8,1,0,4,9,4,0,0,8,8,22,8,16,31,8,32,0,0,2,0,10,10,1,7,22,136,45,4,0.1025274176552878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266639872697472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168955430577634,0.10505145551750884,0.08437132882815958,0.09127113878803833,0.0,0.0,0.0963278838833486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084604132288612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081859800265843,0.0,0.0,0.2644868100240944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403227398152697,0.0,0.0,0.1049111442592372,0.08564850142010896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771839240221228,0.0,0.172767542691688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25920471485362745,0.21973682297665287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053566344061778834,0.0,0.11653738839753422,0.0,0.08200054195678254,0.11303683991853535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522270967503494,0.0,0.11555585116325495,0.0,0.20616590060738926,0.0,0.10284335948291633,0.0,0.100968853814909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4429888194436538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690391622591985,0.08357352954120628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483629437178708,0.2504485870323456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602278107120397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125443161798258,0.09692154947430873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810489206590524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568168911454934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075264406894841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260146173014983,0.0,0.0,0.0789306151474648,0.0,0.0,0.14513886784427066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792269642191643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622932106646893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224131008457439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602429547657568
mentalhealth,Eliz1998x,2019/02/03,Drinking on medication Is it ok to drink while coming down on medication? I’ve drank on my medication before but never when I’ve been coming up or down on the dose.,5.66,5.925431515151516,7.651060606060607,69.59659090909092,67.18181818181819,10.236363636363636,28.62121212121212,10.125756701596842,2.737739393939394,132,4,25,3,2,47,24,33,0.0,0.949,0.051,0.1531,0,0,2,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,7,0,0,1,5,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,8,3,0,12,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,1,3,18,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048240596909771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4146958001328717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4716027467803156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7274614039109097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856481967946209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kornell2018,2019/02/03,"How to stop being a control freak? It's my friends birthday today, and me and couple of my friends are going to this party. So i like organizing who will pick up who on the way, so when should they leave home and meet up and etc. 
When all of them just feel fine by getting there by themselves. I'm overorganizing a simple ride to the club.

",3.627391304347825,4.722441884057975,4.328231884057973,88.61060869565218,72.18840579710145,6.679420289855073,25.394202898550724,6.742157984588678,0.7956933333333343,266,8,57,2,5,85,53,69,0.083,0.735,0.183,0.8233,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,1,7,5,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,3,1,12,8,9,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,4,10,5,2,10,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,5,41,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32989453910121186,0.0,0.3254519474634673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280354180679593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872219802604958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544919829727075,0.0,0.15367205865807745,0.0,0.16716224244304276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29503881677691696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114437818054155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436982516965492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459078880214907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788031586252289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233468638047664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,under_cross,2019/02/03,"Stopping my meds cold turkey I'm done feeling like shit. My depression is more manageable than my body due to my meds. I take lexapro and lyrica and for the past 6 months my body has been a wreck. I've gained and lost weight, my skin has gotten worse and my legs are almost always at a constant fatigue. Walking hurts a lot. Sitting hurts. Lying down hurts. Every time I wake up I feel pains in my back and neck and face. And since stopping them cold turkey 3 days ago I have felt a lot better. I'm nowhere near a normal functioning body without medication but my legs have felt better and finally I am dreaming multiple times during sleep which means I'm getting REM which is what my body needs.

I wouldn't advise anyone to quit their meds like this but for me personally I just have to do this. I am just done. I don't wanna spend another year of life feeling like a total wreck. Imo over the past 5 years of being on many different mental health medications, none of them have helped to the point of healing the depression. Imo lifestyle changes are the only ways to fully heal depression. Meds will only suppress your depression while adding side effects to your body which isn't the real solution in the long run.

So yeah. I'm done. It's gonna get worse physically and mentally before it gets better but I refuse to put another pill down my throat. I'm done with this shit. I'm ready to get better permanently. ",3.2900722021660656,5.472805848375455,3.9817415162454886,86.25017184115526,75.35379061371843,7.031277978339349,24.07638989169675,7.976525956113202,1.3353016317689526,1128,36,219,18,25,358,158,277,0.191,0.701,0.109,-0.9716,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,3,8,4,19,2,0,13,1,23,25,15,1,1,36,44,14,0,4,6,0,7,3,0,3,9,0,0,1,9,10,1,4,7,1,1,3,5,12,0,0,9,9,27,7,27,31,5,33,0,9,0,0,9,11,2,3,20,121,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569600071830785,0.0,0.07421267082692927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061667294062190986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542622410341358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05182097902910073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056987713279331075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306403038696888,0.0,0.0,0.26218490124941835,0.0,0.4116097784399839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840088913717164,0.0,0.0,0.08008896800504267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779624301077568,0.0,0.2553309446149815,0.0,0.0,0.07743148338185707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033700799769679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06244273167432601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242007756428388,0.10589155240874333,0.1423186840547335,0.08118630128919915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488227924817058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787778114621811,0.0,0.0,0.04967585080490288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380159544712657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234764426962187,0.10862244383147483,0.0,0.0,0.06558697190587805,0.0,0.0,0.08090222979716291,0.12601509792995194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513814654219735,0.0,0.08072992125157001,0.3292878227519871,0.14932050512294906,0.14937534857569762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591556573548444,0.0,0.0,0.05495326316050689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261422832947365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273134761780733,0.07886061461245232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414969770165429,0.0,0.06471192138551791,0.0,0.0,0.0700599917437541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745032389704032,0.0,0.07882745586127099,0.0,0.0843559179325631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215023298435634,0.0613063843130125,0.0,0.07416573095147237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392224882799288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055723157038809465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643084896016945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058826821072016124,0.0,0.09024870340037144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144152381284014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105334307255944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545166417716444
mentalhealth,pastelsilver,2019/02/03,"Is my therapist “the one”? How do you even tell if your therapy is improving your life not? This is the first time I’ve ever seen a therapist and I’ve had 3 official sessions with her. For me, I feel like she’s just listening and listening and giving some advice and asking some questions. She’s just a way for me to vent and feel like someone’s listening.
But then, I don’t think thats the therapists job? Aren’t they supposed to actually help in a active way? I don’t know because I’ve never been to another therapist before but from experiences I’ve read on the internet they all seem more involved and more “helpful”. 
Should I see another therapist and compare them? To have more ground to decide on? And then, even if I find a therapist better than previous ones, how do I know if I should keep looking? Should I trust my gut that there’s something lacking? What if my gut is wrong? What if I’m looking for something that’s actually unrealistic? Somebody please help I’m very lost.",2.7337683125339107,5.093653293814434,4.328187737384699,82.21770754205103,77.91752577319588,8.207921866521977,27.736299511665763,8.99025400887824,2.5549319587628867,785,34,151,20,19,262,106,194,0.039,0.8,0.161,0.9646,2,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,3,3,8,6,0,0,8,0,15,3,2,2,3,40,34,19,0,9,10,0,2,2,0,3,1,3,0,0,6,9,0,1,9,1,0,0,5,2,0,3,4,9,22,4,14,27,7,12,0,1,4,0,20,4,0,9,8,102,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.19549954799668973,0.0,0.0,0.09788326605398764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100703125010452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364380299169148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061061642619500985,0.0,0.08523581298707622,0.0,0.0,0.08859068740850815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132320384320261,0.09060792747167014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798378074972308,0.0,0.0,0.10129616569555536,0.1431204523821213,0.0,0.0,0.09155197651578104,0.08520307225249002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609052407773587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142202313422966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940154354593772,0.08903415347498893,0.0,0.0,0.110099714035648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707518055839555,0.09787430596921168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682322236556296,0.0,0.10934549039944233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725593861994576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357532130399936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995467140983857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221137771587443,0.0,0.10019536867942258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982113576643418,0.09118942341783047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487224310148148,0.1542288433091327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755147584269418,0.0,0.1145511370333582,0.6978184339864549,0.0,0.06418377749638307,0.0,0.0,0.058408918943797024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264930639231831,0.0,0.15901780741735316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951826951936322,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Goodbye_megaton,2019/02/03,My friends hate me I did something wrong because of a mental breakdown that I had and now my friends hate me. I don’t know where else to go or what else to do. I feel tremendously alone.,1.0773076923076914,3.1763530769230783,1.827884615384616,99.3233653846154,82.33333333333333,4.925641025641027,25.134615384615394,5.985473137389443,0.3959692307692304,146,6,34,1,4,45,29,39,0.278,0.5870000000000001,0.135,-0.7645,0,1,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,9,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,1,8,2,3,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,22,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747818448330946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617309243939632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4432660485419047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414904850818862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40995673732383503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078217016602674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5238787264291709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580780800031706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673707577352065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20424911881286026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900755729381092,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Monounknown,2019/02/03,"Triggering myself. I know to some this might sound weird but I trigger myself on purpose. I suffer with multiple mental health issues due to a damaged childhood and sexual abuse. Sometimes I'll purposely smell things, read things and watch storytimes even though it'll trigger me; I don't know if it's so much that I like how it makes me feel? I've just always wondered if I'm the only purpose who does this? 

(I've never used Reddit before so if I've messed up somehow, I'm really sorry!)",3.7534375,5.681732468750003,4.823333333333334,81.855,73.27083333333334,7.3000000000000025,25.541666666666664,8.07648339933343,1.7127541666666666,391,13,70,6,8,128,68,96,0.202,0.7609999999999999,0.037000000000000005,-0.9535,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,6,1,22,11,10,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,9,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,9,1,5,9,2,5,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,7,4,43,18,1,0.0,0.2614365040324027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18360011570441534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775857530180196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19309402652923885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457385456458665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115682662486982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23454272672983875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23030333025563846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425291051263096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779940733490856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728690384987556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22236528859387947,0.23407687159791574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16220458702435905,0.0,0.17018040258598632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678157666953153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22071168228241808,0.0,0.1413553025633498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182304411037596,0.2470018161842325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931827295696758,0.0,0.21678944092651511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057245732104786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392876498688585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itsmeyaboii_,2019/02/03,"Advice? Loss of motivation, how’d you pull through? ‪I don’t mean to sound like a downer rn, just need an outlet and maybe feel validated. But man, depression really sucks. The loss of motivation and interest is real, and as much as I want to actively help myself, it’s like there’s this constant paralyzing feeling that stops me... I’m taking the right steps; going to therapy, finding medication, trying to engage myself in reading and educational topics. I know there are things that I could be doing more so of, but there’s just that nagging feeling of being stuck or numb that stops me. Maybe I’m just comfortable and haven’t conquered my anxieties, maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. But it’s exhausting... anyone have any advice on maybe how they were able to motivate or push themselves going through something similar?‬",6.178301435406701,7.89840907894737,6.645143540669861,72.03191387559811,66.76315789473685,9.737799043062203,30.92344497607656,10.018931242160765,3.324347368421053,668,26,110,16,11,217,100,152,0.133,0.687,0.18,0.5582,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,6,10,12,2,0,4,0,10,3,0,4,0,31,25,14,0,3,10,0,4,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,8,5,0,2,9,1,0,5,3,7,0,0,2,5,10,5,15,20,3,11,0,3,0,0,4,3,1,2,5,70,18,4,0.14482346075498745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830396194520536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848491952147087,0.0,0.11078955107832167,0.0,0.0,0.10126393107307212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650271159913398,0.0,0.11562974902060255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473623453637482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496413487112084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21968127964749912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236601943184936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646130204100443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297333746097766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707211299653427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959118657024064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415068552186453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5819785276981654,0.15775520521452774,0.0,0.14589440050983365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646190725588184,0.10738476109841516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448626520402394,0.1648408042297273,0.0927776173762983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367844418281347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149217552331807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24215779591294476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888921898567798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561824886308488,0.0,0.09621427216415816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19665124678200085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542062939977513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saltbdonut,2019/02/03,time confusion? sometimes i feel like i’m not in the present but my body is in the past and nothing feels real and that’s fucking strange,1.90845238095238,4.3385396071428595,2.3785714285714303,94.63309523809528,81.5,5.161904761904762,30.76190476190476,6.42735559955562,1.4698190476190485,111,6,23,1,3,34,24,28,0.151,0.7859999999999999,0.063,-0.359,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,8,5,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,1,2,5,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,4,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385418681405916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.350888959462162,0.24788394639265185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207791853255844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951783487459707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329385015488462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33123349566263344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39494137847717214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431739820675053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023279425313724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Someshittyusername12,2019/02/03,"Where is my mind Hey Reddit. I just wanna share my problems with someone and ask for advice if somebody have been in a similar situation..

Im not any good writer and this is the first time im writing about this so thanks in advance for bearing with me.

Ill just begin by telling how it all started i guess..

I started getting depressed at the age of 17-18, it didnt effect me that much at the time, i just stayed more at home playing video games instead of being out with friends like i used to before. But as time went by it got increasingly worse. After a couple of years i got anxiety aswell,and thats when it really started going downhill...

When i was 20 i got called in to work on a ship i hadnt been on before and i really hated that because i had to get to know new people. While driving to the port i stopped the car on the side of the road and walked into the woods. Had a rope with me and decided that this is were it ends BUT i could not commit to it because of my family and the suffering it would cause them and thats the only reason why im stilll here, 4 years later...

The worst part of it all is that i can see on my friends and families faces how they pitty me and think im really awkward when talking to them. I know it myself but i just cant do anything about it..Its like all the words i want to say just dissapear from my mouth. 

I have tried medication, talking to psychologists, exersicing etc. but nothing seems to help.

The best thing i have done in terms of treatment is LSD (self treatment). When im on it its like i know all the answers to my problems but as soon as i come down from it i go straight back to this fucked up state of mind. LSD is not that easy to get where i live so i seldom use it. Instead i smoke weed from time to time, and it wakes me up from this state im in but doesnt give me any answers i just get more anxious and suicidal..

So it is time i make a desicion instead of just escaping into video games and getting drunk to forget my problems.

I really love sailing and hiking so im considering buying a sailboat and just gtfo of here and never come back. The other option is suicide but it is so selfish to do..So my logic is that i might aswell get that boat and spend the rest of my days sailing the world. What do you guys think?",2.398804228143579,3.742748594142263,3.9547016075754255,89.113811935697,75.61087866108788,6.6215371063642365,24.50363356088968,7.1686216300943375,0.8828234309623433,1780,57,389,19,38,593,218,478,0.13,0.799,0.07200000000000001,-0.9804,0,0,1,0,0,1,43.0,0,1,3,5,31,21,2,1,23,0,31,8,3,8,6,84,67,39,2,8,19,0,0,3,2,2,2,1,1,2,33,25,1,1,12,6,2,10,8,10,0,1,13,2,49,11,65,50,14,68,0,2,1,2,22,25,1,5,33,272,82,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065766350014477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834261813746856,0.0,0.05531473533337073,0.08168644418156952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059502584214640324,0.0,0.067597379893427,0.0,0.0,0.11119939680937098,0.0,0.08815547684310304,0.0,0.12305603674647207,0.0,0.07588184285246674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383363584978743,0.0,0.0,0.07427931195280713,0.0,0.12457233221709818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057731337490636636,0.08000643337324441,0.0,0.04663209915531073,0.0,0.06227800124384576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399527012536904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404263073787403,0.0,0.08064153256500216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632940173050234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150438426395057,0.0,0.0,0.11172857571688492,0.06684675091965246,0.22666485946414985,0.06936356120455205,0.082187585090685,0.06064776680787801,0.17349178522601802,0.0,0.07965442513968661,0.07159539936674936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138829371899162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048465926492096884,0.0,0.07252991915076186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5467285489879834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119214277262197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597679340820854,0.0,0.06384849604354911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525998286830177,0.0,0.048265552247856364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284179845730346,0.0,0.0767064089258029,0.1460191217363061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315403993993848,0.0,0.05576769487222874,0.06983464995914371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938061477401908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05499280956915612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830154549697703,0.0,0.05012864040990127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20756439479253827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528712500703887,0.07434374387796187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057501509930142074,0.0,0.0,0.057619398887582524,0.06582567025374407,0.07543207727437756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127621251509075,0.0,0.0,0.06126557311910065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353801747588852,0.07706975026775274,0.0,0.060451975206432335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818446796035288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623541974168958,0.06319959446001877,0.06657066501675994,0.0,0.0,0.04803762582529935,0.09266294302043976,0.0,0.0,0.25297711691772345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490917760874121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490024103170368,0.0,0.0,0.04264860233902562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702940823034276,0.06524591316023585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264043163556805,0.0,0.0736871145951022,0.05136489086983852,0.0,0.0,0.0931268063777617
mentalhealth,apoorvaShrini,2019/02/03,"Some mental health topics Hi guys 
I have a YouTube channel , currently on travelling. I am a counselor and I want to also dedicate one day of the  week to talkut certain mental health topics on my channel

Pls suggest some topics or questions or ideas that would benefit the viewers as well as the channel 

Thanks in advance

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4FI7n_lJUNvn5VzEfnPuWg",9.375999999999998,12.7008046,6.789999999999999,67.75500000000001,61.33333333333334,8.133333333333335,37.0,8.841846274778883,3.8064,316,15,40,5,5,90,44,60,0.0,0.794,0.206,0.8658,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,5,0,3,2,0,0,1,10,5,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,4,8,4,2,8,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,5,3,29,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953502889722638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575401180175073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418751861927221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5193155333198453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757619079164955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4923527156353326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553016295763728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736490315487056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22489981393106392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408242321226605,0.0,0.19594634145208165,0.0,0.2196366759599513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352920233420752,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TraditionalHippo,2019/02/03,"I'm in an abusive relationship but find myself staying together for absurd reasons. Like when we get in a big fight and storms off I think and worry about all the strawberries she just bought and how she loves strawberries and that they'll go bad if I left because she'd be too depressed to eat them.

Or that she recently bought me a sweater so now if I leave it's like I'm stealing it but if I don't take it then it gets wasted.

Like there will be a 3 pack of men's body wash she bought for me.  I know it's impractical to take it with me (would fly back home if we broke up I'm living abroad) so today it was such a great sigh of relief to have finished the second one because it wouldn't be as absurd to take with or leave behind the third one.  

Like I'll be mentally packing things up in my mind, accounting for what is mine that I'd take with me and see that something of hers that she likely doesn't even care about is an odd location and she can very absent minded so I make a mental note to move that stuff somewhere more visible for her if I were indeed to leave.

Right now I'm debating whether or not to pack up, and my mind keeps drifting towards my bicycle, wondering what I'll do with that as I'm worried she'd just throw it out instead of keeping it for herself.

My mother is a hoarder, I spent a lot of my twenties rejecting those tendencies she ingrained on me.  I've basically lived a minimalist lifestyle and in my 30s.  I know these thoughts I'm having are unhealthy, but despite seeing the relationship as dead, I want to find a way to leave where I don't waste body wash or shampoo.

Would love some insight, don't even know what to call this.",6.7198272913816695,5.247975090116282,6.983160054719567,81.03803693570454,65.54069767441861,10.187140902872775,33.60738714090287,9.007467420416297,2.5650562927496585,1317,46,283,18,17,428,180,344,0.16699999999999998,0.728,0.105,-0.9732,0,0,1,0,1,0,20.0,2,0,2,0,19,17,1,0,15,0,25,7,2,3,1,55,57,30,1,9,16,1,0,5,0,5,2,0,1,1,25,15,1,2,10,0,5,4,6,6,1,4,7,2,40,10,41,39,4,29,0,3,2,2,24,15,0,12,13,191,65,1,0.0,0.1130837001303263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733893551697502,0.07969046175548712,0.11636166716422272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120300990019212,0.0,0.0,0.0974574157833456,0.0,0.0973099419036793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220444505435616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766145681823607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607768034722808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744653462066185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972948506925812,0.0,0.0542421456035816,0.0,0.0,0.10522564155144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573656242243136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16966727537061552,0.0,0.0,0.15735802866447116,0.0,0.0,0.4042391083806029,0.10369850462025462,0.0,0.0,0.2331418081496532,0.0,0.16855486945589387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114176062304228,0.1722810805998905,0.0,0.06370857860774942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923670889634228,0.0,0.28910901032273445,0.0,0.0,0.1014402232362053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934855266396575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813073776761523,0.09423790823312587,0.20493895270781515,0.0,0.08150733351077333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211055638646945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347626333969977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172895604713222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925877446246553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28704338726882545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340772494023747,0.061155670188206376,0.0,0.07577064678434688,0.0,0.0,0.0904682858034819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875001940011195,0.05629443170304002,0.07575777683866759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350326915061073,0.0,0.1938528881438036,0.0,0.1355991606956042,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VazmanianDevil1,2019/02/03,"How to stay positive in a depressing work environment? Hey guys 
So I start a new job tomorrow (I did one day last week) and it’s at a warehouse, and it was extremely depressing and toxic, I barely got through the 10 hour day. And I have to do a full week. 
I’m only doing it for a couple weeks until I move on to a better job, but I need the money. 
Was wondering if anyone has any tips or anything to keep me somewhat happy, as I don’t like the idea of sacrificing my happiness for some money. ",1.7603775620280473,3.42072572815534,4.568478964401297,82.69267529665589,78.12621359223301,8.072923408845739,24.06580366774541,8.841846274778883,1.8264722761596552,382,13,80,9,9,137,73,103,0.035,0.797,0.16699999999999998,0.9372,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,9,0,8,0,0,1,0,14,14,11,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,2,0,1,4,0,9,4,13,10,3,17,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,5,12,55,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148171277687199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805699561794307,0.0,0.13894110089262335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932543883680538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681847314852948,0.0,0.2177759261749404,0.0,0.29084363875688857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350369341280842,0.0,0.0,0.16717834591822042,0.0,0.35946707117665644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627358961576072,0.0,0.0,0.19060003780627374,0.0,0.0,0.3350956978719064,0.150072930101673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762730018851915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248679470285201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17945041550259574,0.0,0.1251928711051258,0.0,0.1630669200983554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441049112322688,0.12841058255814325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950596464862988,0.1799611914180767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4063002795158759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830999978352266,0.12291767860914428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Peta_ateP,2019/02/03,"Childhood depression, anxiety, doubts about therapy - advice needed Hey everyone :) 

I'm 23yo treated again for depression since 2 months. My 1st treatment was at age 16. Still, I suppose I was depressed as long as I remember, my earliest very vivid memory of that is when I was about 4 y.o.(?) and went to my hiding place under the stairs to cry without reason. I had it very often and I realised it had detrimental impact on my growing up. Maybe I should add that my parents were always against the idea of me having depression and receiving any treatment on that.

Now my question is more about this specific feeling. At one point during my childhood, I can't remember correctly, something changed. I was at least 3 y.o. and I had a long break from kindergarten, I think I had pox for that time. When I came back I could not interact with other children, I started behaving really weird, I felt very anxious and not myself. Around that time I also had some sexual dreams, that someone close was touching me. I became really closed off, I couldn't interact normally not even with other children but also my family. I remember feeling scared and embarassed. Even nowadays I can't speak easily with my aunt, uncle, cousins who I should be very close with. Everyone started commenting how weird I am and it didn't help, I even started attending school psychologist. But I didn't know why and felt so pressured by my mum that I can't behave like other children and can't make friends, at times I couldn't speak to anyone. Also, I had so many problems when it comes to relationship with my mum, she had unexpected mood changes and I felt I can't trust her at all. Strange thing is my parents kind of stopped most of their social interactions, before I remember we were visiting their friends, or them visiting us, they had some children around my age too, but then suddenly it all stopped.

Basically most of my growing up I was considered as weird child, which was always highlighted by my family, I couldn't develop any relationships with people around me, until I moved out for university, away from my family, then I started to develop myself more and while I do have some problems it's much better. Other problem, apart from depression and weird moods, is that I'm crazy anxious visiting my family. It's not about the place itself since they moved 2 years ago, more that being ""home"" and feeling back in time when I was sitting alone anxious in my room without any friends or life apart school. I feel like in a trap. Also I'm crazy insecure in social interactions, I feel like my friends secretly hate me, that I'm like this annoying person you're nice to but wish was gone. I have thoughts that my bf is cheating on me all the time, when someone tells me they're busy and can't meet now I imagine they just have better options than me. Sometimes I feel good, but mostly it's kind of struggle. 

Sometimes, mostly in my dreams, I get this special feeling that everything is alright, like it should have been. It's like another dimension where everything went fine, I'm myself, I don't have this anxious feeling inside me, I feel at ease and safe. And I feel this warmth inside, I'm surrounded by people I trust and I'm not scared. Sometimes I feel it during the day, I remember these as ""sunny"" days from years back when I can be myself, talk with everyone, be so cheerful and feel this excitement in my stomach, like butterflies. But then it goes back to feeling bad, sometimes I have dream that I'm sitting in my room as a small girl and black veil covers inside of my head and covers up ""me"".

I don't know what to do about it. I constantly feel something happened in my childhood and I'm not the same anymore. I could go to the therapist but firstly, I have this belief that they won't help me, secondly I'm not sure what to tell them since I'm not sure what affected me or maybe my brain is making stuff up and that's just how I am. I just want to be myself and feel normal, I want to live my life, achieve my goals without constant interruptions of this bad feeling. 2 weeks ago It was a month since I started taking antidepressants and I kind of felt this ""good"" feeling, it lasted a few days and then it was back to ""normal"". I felt so good, like all the negativity was blocked and nothing could make me sad or anxious. I could study without problems, I could forget all stupid worries. Sometimes when I feel good I make so many plans, I start up new hobbies or decide what I want to pursue, I am social and happy and then suddenly it stops. It has such a bad effect on my life, I make plans feeling good and then I drop it and struggle to pass stupid tests at uni or answer a phone call. 

Does anyone feel similar? Should decide on therapist and tell them about it? I really don't believe anymore that it could help or that I imagine all of that and will make a fool of myself :(

​",4.87794555694618,6.272566405319152,5.354580725907387,81.29411764705884,69.52127659574468,8.550688360450563,30.419274092615773,8.966502688444479,2.53170901126408,3871,156,724,71,68,1239,340,940,0.213,0.685,0.102,-0.9989,2,1,2,0,0,0,121.0,2,0,9,8,46,67,5,7,16,1,76,6,3,11,9,184,143,77,0,25,29,6,26,8,5,6,3,2,3,7,62,50,0,5,45,3,0,16,28,30,0,3,35,30,132,35,93,88,20,128,3,6,2,0,61,46,0,18,70,501,194,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03798937098476265,0.06892280816989811,0.0,0.0,0.040264016929592535,0.0,0.12435712675054288,0.06469622248741601,0.04212234455167256,0.04723883607459525,0.07931144377628943,0.04076508353371458,0.029740185245427382,0.2195951917114689,0.07710948461769616,0.05436628345328931,0.0,0.0,0.10382417600108827,0.0,0.0,0.03652546797348203,0.14946698381359474,0.09738000501370933,0.0,0.0,0.03308078133567729,0.04380016261227755,0.0,0.0687656762066094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04339869436749716,0.03969694502346087,0.04446401405016575,0.0,0.0,0.08225172587781097,0.033488402450660884,0.0,0.08402271855185227,0.0,0.18623688546173087,0.0,0.04270367828195516,0.07521579515316294,0.0,0.16742006289502612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0340208230626573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703208686379928,0.0,0.0,0.11144362026606316,0.06987884045431103,0.0,0.14659607923378853,0.0,0.3931394785927937,0.055546327582210515,0.18663623456616305,0.0,0.0,0.03306807436376421,0.0,0.0,0.12014261729725005,0.0,0.02031120902494186,0.0,0.02209423936262329,0.16303755307852286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03437809371378008,0.04138443592736907,0.0,0.03838219719867211,0.03989819517859094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817368861728911,0.0,0.0389959966070416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04388649578682239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145073411188473,0.04273068370552309,0.031689290303364134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823782255698809,0.15194357398290262,0.0,0.034328395291652505,0.06880842416110111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570098522642226,0.07882872631128636,0.07811273289828881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062061221070584226,0.08263849256843084,0.028578478859735808,0.028826208397081724,0.0,0.037546874513951535,0.0,0.0,0.11427126023280408,0.03730276070897411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02634351805192824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633483491719908,0.0,0.0,0.05390372178071247,0.03394519677905333,0.08123470556939329,0.0,0.03675057323537932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487970854850079,0.0,0.0,0.04355023926570357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471526422514031,0.03997120661328241,0.0,0.08347697579929103,0.22019577072486693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784371289344515,0.07868957624184622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286351716815631,0.0,0.0,0.11888816493442195,0.06587935322290547,0.05985759345003774,0.19224777061014986,0.0,0.16510063925746846,0.0,0.03104658213358684,0.09750672747086206,0.0,0.08128368665788997,0.044503945936850815,0.0,0.0,0.07328071352221369,0.0,0.02923006287456318,0.03124721554179046,0.10193853240094544,0.0,0.044458320782700775,0.0902765250807225,0.02582761866588997,0.024910298080661804,0.0,0.03086335888976343,0.11334511914176368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04676327978372239,0.0,0.0,0.12830773997423986,0.06879056691007934,0.0,0.03118414125269273,0.0,0.0,0.07207725050648968,0.0350797221065586,0.0,0.04470570937810703,0.14990107121529564,0.0,0.0,0.039480666409167885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04723883607459525,0.05006999412177987
mentalhealth,coolsviIlesucks,2019/02/03,"I think I’m starting to feel physically ill because of my mental health I’ve been in this... slump, for about a week. I spent a week on my own, which is the longest I’ve ever been on my own. I barely talked to another human being in that time, and I got really lonely. It put me in this dark mood, and I got kind of suicidal several times. Usually these moods only last a few days for me, but it’s still going on. And now I’m starting to feel sick. There’s this kind of gut feeling, and it’s almost painful. I feel like I’m going to throw up sometimes. I just want it to go away. ",1.0194181818181818,2.527784920000002,3.3794181818181848,91.0737090909091,79.8,6.465454545454546,20.96363636363636,7.348242739294969,0.5044399999999993,445,12,103,6,11,154,76,125,0.122,0.828,0.051,-0.8590000000000001,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,4,5,1,0,1,14,21,5,1,1,2,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,10,4,0,0,5,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,5,4,12,3,19,15,3,25,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,1,13,62,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282959817179551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705098963163502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277667104284942,0.0,0.0,0.09912504273449242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486946443035218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708930676301046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32888033543353795,0.11616802586659272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772436214777141,0.0,0.2601068209707098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17284594722584487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.338664861949568,0.0,0.1325481793627758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944262834741099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387180055866438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236716037129322,0.17302762514601386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346713207963345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417160023512996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370208092091564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16082463025827212,0.0,0.23019121955412056,0.0,0.12985989581492627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778680430078086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306990939390293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419339235329138,0.0,0.0,0.1896374331905158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790910310930816,0.0,0.0959111034461618,0.0,0.2608705407073917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MageMancer,2019/02/03,"Please Help Me, I Think Something Is Wrong 
I dont really know what the heck is wrong with me:

i have episodes of extreme sadness and extreme happiness and i dont know what to do:

when someone talks i cant just focus on what theyre saying, my brain will get excited and i sometimes talk over them or multitask bc i cant focus on one thing so my brain tries to do other things. I recently noticed i do this (never in the moment though) and a friend was upset that i do this while they talk (im really sorry, i didnt mean it :( )


when im in this mood, i procrastinate like its no ones business i will ritualistically put stuff off, like when you have an easy assignment to do and you leave it till the final hours because of how easy it is
part of my brain is panicking because of the time wasted, and the other half is telling me to calm down and that i can do it as x even though when the time comes my mind makes excuses.


Im VERY good at getting stuff done on time, but when im hit with negativity and i get into this episode of depression, there seems to be another voice in my head trying to keep me in the depresion.

Ill watch videos for hours putting off the things im passionate about. I feel like i have no inbetween, its either a period of happiness and hyperactivity, followed by a sudeen 7-14 day depressive cycle whenre i procrastinate everything i was passionate baout the day before, and i will retreat to my bed. I need to know whats wrong with me, but i never had the oportunity to explain how until just this moment. Im so scared i dont feel like i know who i am because these depressive moods make me feel like a different and angry person and by the time i snap out of it i feel the exact opposite. And overley energetic person and my mind races with ideas and i want to do all of them. Its like i knew i had depression, but i never realized i had all these repetitive behaviours that seem to be so common with my episodes.

I even have a mild pica that developed through stressful times but is now 10x worse than it was before. I dont really want to get into it, but i eat fabric :(



when i think back to my childhood i can pinpoint the onset of a lot of these bheaviourrs and its realy scary
something i painted as harmless in my mind before i now look at in horror,
like, have i always been this destructive when im angry?
Why am i like this?
I hate myself
im broken please tell me whats wrong with me
i feel like theres two people in me that this whole time realised was one :(

one really disturbed and sad person and one person who wants to live and be happy



i also have no job and im in my mid 20s
not because i dont want to work, ive had jobs before but after university, finding jobs in my field has not been kind to me, it has been discouraging and humiliating, and i went back to school to maybe find another opportunity and then my school went on strike. Finding work in my previous field and even new jobs have come up short. Theyll like me, interview me, act like thetyre really excited then never call back or revoke a contract (yes someone actually did that) I just have really bad luck and i feel like that poor luck makes all of this worse. I just want to feel at peace without having these major depressive patches, they hold me back so bad.

Im sorry if this is incoherent im just in a horrible state
",3.8214656862745073,4.791342666176472,5.275000000000002,82.47583333333336,71.6029411764706,8.666666666666666,26.37254901960784,9.017664075816787,1.8927843137254896,2623,83,548,51,48,884,274,680,0.198,0.652,0.15,-0.994,7,0,2,0,0,0,54.0,0,2,5,3,33,49,2,4,22,1,58,8,4,5,8,105,98,57,0,7,18,0,7,12,1,4,1,2,1,4,47,36,1,3,23,1,1,8,19,20,0,7,17,11,85,27,74,73,8,79,0,8,2,2,25,28,1,8,54,377,132,12,0.0,0.0,0.04153346229856485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03403607024251455,0.035414217593241835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925798032492259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090733484626027,0.07107342704503393,0.10377932665781617,0.0,0.1448653344301828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253668110765727,0.043459608453066935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332518194356334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05489673499914018,0.0,0.18328892503706667,0.0,0.0,0.044467256797211065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043554748862292665,0.2494062702163544,0.0,0.0,0.043550597357435314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433355089276565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0382511430477066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064108154785782,0.15202817536097402,0.0,0.046623568995043364,0.1167001337018438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032882575114907074,0.0,0.08894560434418193,0.0,0.0,0.035698204059537414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592114307976744,0.0,0.042020242636728385,0.04367993404582736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02852778634587205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382815627802437,0.0,0.0,0.048046264571373586,0.5057058196777621,0.0,0.16894116855366895,0.037830232289853716,0.0,0.04432080224914568,0.09356179835382096,0.0,0.0,0.04506602506958758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495182524128977,0.0,0.03758220229077108,0.0,0.035740577357872616,0.0,0.0,0.036183897526169816,0.0,0.0,0.085229528993956,0.0,0.04275831282422789,0.046361479629787435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289236359069032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03155849220596931,0.1313028760175379,0.04110574413341871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845605735569438,0.0,0.0,0.1442024038797544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608948847503392,0.0,0.029506485214017407,0.14865072967283482,0.0,0.09343854236694077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557125641473011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635942577834645,0.0,0.04202391947630103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03384626909215538,0.042611053330208405,0.08614814492115919,0.0,0.07749199460279997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212370862585725,0.06553117809806487,0.04209398396654622,0.09528726091172034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875355893597421,0.0,0.0974444791098625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262692143379516,0.07440049776806278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482704604835427,0.05454282693012955,0.08363206530053642,0.0,0.14890620409372204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05779234199884544,0.0,0.04157597850880068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03511733798081222,0.12551810143113415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789090718072735,0.03840474340008845,0.04751791183615592,0.0,0.04102735020202375,0.0,0.06196992796986341,0.0,0.08674672759864192,0.0,0.18613538352174835,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cravedz,2019/02/03,"Is there something seriously wrong with me or does everybody think they're losing their mind like this? Im a 21 year old female. I feel like my sanity is barely hanging on when I'm by myself. I will pace back and forth in my room for literally hours, just daydreaming, and I do this often to the point my feet hurt bad. Sometimes I get really paranoid and I stare at things for a long time and convince myself they're moving, or i think that somebody is watching me through my window, etc.

I feel like not one person knows who I truly am, and neither do I. My friends have told me it seems like I have multiple personalities, although I know that's not true. I feel like an imposter to myself and I dont know why, I dont know how to fix it. I feel isolated and disconnected. When I'm out at night I can definitely be the life of the party, but when I get in my head I start to feel almost unreal.

Sometimes I really convince myself that reality is a simulation and none of it is real. I see patterns throughout my life that I think proves this. I've talked to emptiness looking for an answer and any sign or movement in the room I believe is my spirit guides communicating with me. And I know how ridiculous that sounds. But I honestly do believe these things sometimes and I'm at the point where I'm concerned for my mental health. ",5.033615333773959,5.548480812734088,6.047653668208859,79.67779907468608,68.5880149812734,8.829169420577221,29.563560255562898,8.841846274778883,2.208476712932363,1055,37,210,17,17,351,141,267,0.085,0.8109999999999999,0.104,0.4191,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,1,10,16,1,0,10,0,17,5,2,2,2,46,41,22,0,0,8,0,5,5,1,1,3,1,3,2,15,14,0,0,16,0,0,3,6,6,0,1,1,10,42,10,23,38,3,27,1,2,4,0,7,13,0,6,16,140,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672082834936968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247557859845208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195064130072673,0.08898680784573837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401501203522501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326568973387336,0.0,0.2498133973948089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886081217696755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694410461869371,0.22841451592443746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234063038410212,0.0,0.11136349732346028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937809134172467,0.11328568559944263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495624518075494,0.0,0.11409219628984647,0.0,0.11512075602812273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928578977392552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055606802295546,0.2603391274890269,0.0,0.0,0.09431672371751187,0.08949729939504816,0.1192316842470034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740390257717064,0.0,0.1076117408170216,0.0,0.0,0.11327380283785915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001469299168783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183396041850913,0.0,0.07221889889626684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18611673121015795,0.0,0.0,0.2014982150549509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213072287740366,0.13655108889776946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492755942362881,0.09702311426368987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820476878035222,0.3162202318162482,0.0,0.0754352952577101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566204010998622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160919414684733,0.20486948193673454,0.0,0.0,0.062145531842397135,0.0,0.0,0.10183827800022664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961685868656125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652451763897295,0.0,0.06863168078177051
mentalhealth,chandlerhonea98,2019/02/03,"I'm struggling to understand what disability I have. Ever since I was a kid I've been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD I'm not sure if they're the same or not. It has had a severe impact on my daily life as of late. I don't recall the exact age I was when I was first diagnosed with it but I wanna say I was either in 2nd or third grade, maybe first but my memories blurry on it. My teachers said they noticed that it would always take me longer to complete work assignments than it would for the other students. My mother took me to a specialist and he/she quickly diagnosed me with ADD. I didn't really understand what it meant back then as I was very young but was always told the same thing by my parents which was that ""it just means I take a little more time than others to get the hang of things"". I didn't care then because I had help with every thing I did. At the end of the day all I cared about what getting out of school and going home to play with my action figures, or watch spiderman, or play ps2. None of anything I did in school interested me. I just wanted to do what was fun. Everything else was just dull to me. As I got bit older I started noticing little things about myself that I knew wasn't normal. I was extremely irritable for no reason or for the dumbest reasons. I was just easily annoyed by everything. I remember in elementary school I would sit there in class and day dream for hours thinking up scenarios in my head, pretending I was in a horror movie (horror movies have always been my fav) and just not ever focusing on lessons. To me, it felt like I was just sitting there staring at the board or at my paper, but to everyone else it literally looked like I was just staring off into space. Sometimes I wouldn't even blink my eyes. It took a teachers aid to have to sit next to me in class to get me to pay attention, and do my work. Eventually they sent me to speech classes, and after school sessions so I would get caught up. By 4th grade I was becoming more and more disorganized. My desk cubby was always filled with random loose school papers and assignments that I'd just shove in my desk at the end of the day. My teacher would make me stay after school to organize it but the very next week it would be messy again. I didn't know when I was born, what day it was, how to tell the time, how to tie knot or anything that I should have known by then. I was constantly teased in school and by 4th grade i became a class clown just so people would like me, which worked for awhile. I went through middle school and high school always being placed in special education classes and got terrible grades, mostly D'S and and C'S and always one F. I didn't graduate high school until I was 20. I'm still only 20 and I'm now engaged and just had my first child. I'm worried sick because of my mental health problems, I can't hold down a stable job and have been lucky to be able to stay at my current job for 8 months. Still I find daily tasks there, difficult. Everyone tells me that I need a full time job and work 40+ hours a week and I will but I'm just nervous that I won't be able to handle and job I try because I'll get fired after the first week. I struggle with very simple tasks and still have a problem daydreaming even at work. I talk to myself sometimes and constantly dwell on my past while I'm at work. I do not take any medication but will be talking to my doc soon. In the meantime what are some effective ways that I might be able to use to overcome this problem. What does it sound like is going on? Is it add or something else? Any feedback is appreciated.",4.279155274661027,4.978678356070944,5.1188428877690235,85.00695381017348,70.35061391541609,8.221054096945736,26.55536375532477,8.354732019191555,1.5626284433555138,2837,85,594,41,49,924,308,733,0.116,0.8009999999999999,0.083,-0.9732,6,0,1,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,2,12,34,26,2,4,26,0,68,9,2,7,5,115,110,52,0,17,32,2,2,4,0,13,7,4,1,2,39,33,0,1,17,4,1,10,15,12,0,6,45,11,82,14,92,46,12,104,0,1,5,0,16,37,0,14,55,403,121,40,0.14787520823228756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059239087929041014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460880385704176,0.0,0.0,0.06704014163661003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112579772724132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037902302446255205,0.0,0.0901433544103423,0.05443884984249822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053813809348836436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051242010587977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05168144746266067,0.10653371097929464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715636786543444,0.0,0.0,0.15009022360709234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04313553041250599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353076154579988,0.0,0.08731569520442517,0.0,0.0,0.06511345359541451,0.08917439457436485,0.04153041358037879,0.0942007323458536,0.0886004680738065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732779661078256,0.0,0.04505175377967818,0.16771010210706486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876448829537998,0.0,0.056027259082613336,0.0,0.07884620845381103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058754188164497,0.052394810464812994,0.0,0.0,0.03303921166749752,0.10415885093981546,0.0494436302881626,0.0,0.09708486194430824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19565776886879666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02708944905789113,0.0,0.0556032252922406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03481621092130749,0.09632580970268297,0.0988065379065699,0.0,0.0,0.0413926438640827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032902616588287456,0.0,0.049520174149409804,0.0536931509559123,0.0,0.049656238344365146,0.04967447642599412,0.052290742469691225,0.0,0.0,0.03934419346641087,0.0,0.0,0.036549197728093764,0.0,0.0,0.10484464104179916,0.0,0.04829543572936024,0.0,0.1122379364551602,0.0,0.0,0.0334013560462224,0.03748858645758086,0.0,0.0,0.054732639630304135,0.0,0.04705453956210034,0.03417268338771299,0.0,0.05149937298968209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149660329520286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03157754831823899,0.10136022842929608,0.0,0.0,0.05583792812604458,0.0,0.046887728703619035,0.03919876695419137,0.0,0.4988586847055315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055685631432635205,0.0,0.040774633449995316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037947186608745256,0.09750157473401076,0.0,0.034888944498777635,0.10507686436873026,0.11809333231249848,0.0,0.0,0.10306084986287678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04645687790924197,0.0,0.11118375329394804,0.0792376606425202,0.08616629990577218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098895678017553,0.03158415416534747,0.0,0.0,0.0862272231011705,0.0,0.0,0.0471003661729268,0.10952986492040813,0.03346585320204055,0.0,0.0,0.10262887124608554,0.0,0.042572233726315176,0.0,0.12201253353627198,0.029073543043312486,0.039125485756803934,0.1186165723488828,0.0,0.0,0.045693933176548684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153098255566705,0.05005815066443737,0.0,0.2451080454228531,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,popalexcristian,2019/02/03,"Am I ok? Guess I\`ll start it simple and direct, I hate myself. I feel like I am a shame to my family, and that I have disappointed them all. The only thing I can really think about anymore is school, *just school.* Apparently I do ""well"" in school, due to the fact that I constantly have my average grade 9.94. My parents tell me I am smart, even though for a fact I know that I just am not. Whenever I am in school I feel my heart beating through my chest, recently it has been slower since my mum has given me medication for it, but it still is there, only if a bit more subdued.

I am tired all the time, I am scared all the time and I am, bored all the time. Recently playing with my friends online has begun to get boring, the only thing that really has been fun anymore.

In conclusion, I don\`t want to live but I don\`t want to die either.",2.580651629072684,4.127156409356726,4.078834586466169,87.57434210526317,75.5497076023392,7.692731829573934,22.155806182121967,8.418075326091056,1.1182227234753546,650,17,141,12,14,216,92,171,0.153,0.74,0.107,-0.8807,3,0,0,1,0,1,33.0,0,0,1,2,8,13,1,2,9,1,20,4,2,0,6,25,31,7,1,3,7,2,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,3,2,29,7,13,28,7,13,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,2,11,101,39,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258869489880602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248740491696066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103918861433867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545285020548345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862032175407794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303691445318655,0.0,0.1319835254765616,0.09323917516268612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083473585272143,0.0,0.06818813982759148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437758042993982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12885548202765024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465963129122726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172704076509627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637625119701596,0.0,0.11524618821703715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314790501776594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977851668362504,0.0,0.0,0.1449202700857648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722112661972674,0.0,0.2577335141837977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066720875549445,0.5283482456572561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796246868659466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923784289214267,0.0,0.10422859028697737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407492438681532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341530687225626,0.08362805417369842,0.12822927012145854,0.0,0.2283111603053099,0.15000655912657193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396099068659302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173476940073615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spcruiz21,2019/02/03,It hurts I don’t know why but anytime in think of past memories like playing Minecraft over the summer with my buddies or waiting for my friends to my Call of Duty Lobby after waiting in line for it to release I get sent into a heavy sadness. And doing things like listening to the fucking Minecraft soundtrack of things just kicks it off and it really sucks to log on and see the friends that I played with be offline for 5 years. It’s the things like that that crush me what do?,9.41,6.4857966666666655,8.27416666666667,78.48750000000003,61.5,10.85,40.66666666666667,8.07648339933343,3.281341666666666,384,16,77,3,4,118,64,96,0.116,0.6679999999999999,0.215,0.9054,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,11,2,0,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,14,14,5,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,12,6,0,3,2,2,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,2,7,7,19,12,0,11,0,2,1,1,5,6,2,1,7,53,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25752009709967777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896916809834138,0.23315094251418256,0.13176189042314546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699808074815524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386002097954712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.369630369880707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407494165421803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156307986853047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009673914277112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5026430267691345,0.16159687796435573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275674724534029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240581914301824
mentalhealth,kicksjoysharkness,2019/02/03,"Me and my best friend Today, my best friend of 27 years told me he’d signed up to see a counsellor because of how down he gets so frequently. I told him I’d been seeing one for about 6 months for the same reason. It was probably the most we’ve bonded in our long, long friendship. Always speak to your loved ones. You never know how much they might understand. ",4.19383561643836,5.047706739726029,4.490301369863015,88.87353424657536,70.64383561643834,8.031780821917808,22.819178082191787,8.238735603445708,0.9599556164383564,284,6,61,4,5,89,59,73,0.0,0.738,0.262,0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,2,1,2,4,5,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,3,1,11,12,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,3,11,5,10,6,5,10,0,0,2,1,13,3,0,2,7,40,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746693540547654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536194809488555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972017408320741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29242031497388865,0.0,0.09887266107877504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104004060085552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349516019992128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708009309444318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075895637868926,0.0,0.0,0.15105349143696206,0.0,0.13911679265255766,0.0,0.14595735061751408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25647451402547394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20403803400589576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457529876885676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016074028189138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793820584637249,0.36166326624303297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970106381414388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186752528960225
mentalhealth,AurioCereal,2019/02/03,"How do I get over a traumic situation where I was nearly knifed to death? I was recently attacked in broad daylight by a man wielding a knife.
Although I was not hurt, it was a very scary experience for me and my toddler.
I'm having trouble sleeping, I keep revisiting that moment in my head, and I'm also feeling paranoid that it might happen again. I'm constantly tired...
So I guess my question is, how do I get over this and move on with my life?
---
U.S
This might be a tempt post, sorry in advance!",2.4945555555555567,4.4677597000000056,4.201333333333333,84.73122222222226,77.0,6.4444444444444455,28.11111111111111,7.3871296695380915,1.6372777777777785,390,17,77,5,9,131,67,100,0.172,0.785,0.043,-0.9148,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,5,0,11,4,2,2,0,13,20,8,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,4,1,12,0,11,13,0,16,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,4,4,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934272850474407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22667930353169385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532194543695296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949078834166724,0.0,0.0,0.1007484152115708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820316775292752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194998864688712,0.0,0.17619896490963574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044912888643513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133046936774915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771054175785548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073844230914356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227523586071237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21177464017461792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908295066323867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232092082845217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967385172290898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239689683077469,0.1993971188668478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230476673310455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290122657168565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440477445884172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Alpaca42,2019/02/03,I’ve been having really dark thoughts I’m not sure why or what I can do about them but I’ve just been having them. Nothing really negative has happened in my life other than maybe me starting to feel a bit lonely but theses are like REALLY dark to the point where they just keep me awake. I doubt that one thing would trigger that. I’m just confused,2.216076458752518,4.470285014084509,3.1572635814889334,90.49211267605637,79.14084507042254,6.310663983903421,20.00201207243461,7.447530270364453,0.5645476861166996,280,7,57,4,7,89,52,71,0.14300000000000002,0.758,0.099,-0.3311,0,2,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,3,0,5,5,0,2,2,0,9,1,0,1,1,15,16,3,0,1,7,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,1,8,2,5,12,1,4,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,3,2,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865735623297984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272397334594802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321210380643713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333151809163093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540604560937754,0.12824045893062655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637087558919521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25186840231816426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17787154830024807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24814003009822386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5044777885471181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579337222031303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473958479852504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743881934050936,0.0,0.0,0.20838953326762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368584360196833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646696978357813,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,noahghosthand,2019/02/03,Not sure what to do anymore. I'm not sure what to do anymore. Every night around the same time I get depressed. I'm only ever happy for fleeting moments and as of recent I've been getting mini flashbacks (don't know what they're actually called but they feel like a lesser form of flashbacks) that leave me unable to willingly so anything until they're over. My last Ex used me for sex than left me for another guy. Everything is constantly getting worse and worse. I'm only ever happy when I'm on stage but I rarly get roles in plays due to me not looking how the director wants for most plays. I still have marks on my wrist from when I last tried to kms about month and a half ago. No one ever seems to care about me besides a few online friends. Memories of my past constantly flood my head with past abuse. I just don't know anything anymore.,2.556264705882352,4.726390670588239,3.5466911764705884,88.55886029411766,77.58823529411767,6.132352941176473,24.15441176470589,7.1686216300943375,1.008558823529412,674,23,133,8,16,216,104,170,0.126,0.7440000000000001,0.13,0.4191,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,12,10,0,0,5,0,8,3,2,2,5,25,24,11,0,1,6,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,2,0,0,6,1,0,2,1,2,15,9,25,22,4,27,0,1,1,1,6,6,0,2,21,81,19,1,0.0,0.13928766362036055,0.11472019104717494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420856537843652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327039438407147,0.0,0.0,0.349759491050027,0.0,0.0,0.19348134722950736,0.10465203725692113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004042785384487,0.0,0.11985878105488025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540780676811942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125301062517096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190153283663216,0.09904815232198468,0.0,0.10565404845522232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05944113733264063,0.08398385473665172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082544749551424,0.0,0.2456779704475437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640145136339285,0.0,0.25028653425473635,0.0,0.0,0.1206489924351543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292142141282366,0.19165182429793368,0.0,0.12447753497060388,0.12772771330292654,0.0,0.0,0.05743317155693752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871957779867442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383411653015268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103207396484832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966071888554754,0.17881715599098516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224445884362188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607489007818488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702089271482487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388241338250934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22159509250504675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854933843841737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981454167619821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153284610686844,0.0,0.0,0.06933908120901329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396044204380552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emperor_dragoon,2019/02/03,"I've reached the limit of what I can sanely do, I just need some help. So I have bipolar type 2 and depression. A 6 years ago I went completely crazy for a couple of years, and it ended up with me hurting someone I care about and ending in jail. From jail I started to have panic attacks and suicidal ideations. And was then temporarily transferred to a mental hospital. I was in the hospital for 4 and a half months, and then transferred back to jail. Got put on probation, and also disability. 

Fast forward a couple of years and now I'm in a different state, mentally and physically. So I was wondering if I could work ever again. In order to see if I could or not, I decided to go to college. I figured it would be a good test. I am a computer science major, and into my sophomore year. 

At the end of last year, I start to notice my grip on my thoughts and reality start to slip. I made it through, but...It wasn't a good sign. Things only get harder from there. Now I am starting to get the same feelings as last semester, and i am struggling to accept the reality that I might never be able to work seriously again. 

I just, hate this so much. My family was so proud of me, and I was even starting to get a little prideful of what I had accomplished. I have a 3.75 gpa, and yet I have to accept that this is all I can handle. I don't want to lose myself, so i can't afford to push myself. How do I move on?",2.561209895052474,3.9324728931034514,4.667391304347827,84.0571739130435,75.24137931034483,7.802098950524738,26.40179910044977,8.456263369488248,1.7744497751124433,1089,40,229,20,23,377,154,290,0.104,0.797,0.098,-0.4148,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,7,20,15,2,2,16,0,27,1,0,2,3,45,48,28,1,7,6,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,17,0,1,7,0,0,6,5,8,0,1,11,3,35,7,39,31,5,47,0,3,1,0,1,12,0,6,29,172,45,10,0.1082635166054624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959690752239428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657829511485708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316537956743315,0.0,0.0832479615615402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038187056441437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351223736122698,0.0,0.0,0.17287921705387566,0.2395830438378959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324720821219984,0.0,0.0,0.11311233213780812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876680241947407,0.0,0.0,0.07150703166036497,0.0979305489729398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206120824939778,0.0,0.05474128695042295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16968965704347502,0.0,0.06152865142060353,0.1816126024018148,0.08658822428984861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688780878282128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256675308365526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589833368545722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649843154505404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850848548499828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211191823464622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244155711440772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21820832177488814,0.1148504823767334,0.0,0.0,0.08641490606028286,0.1150669846495998,0.07958614166489203,0.08027602576091256,0.08349949824022362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325873122107554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233928291935498,0.0,0.1270239100587448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108834736772424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862720058098066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173132629141773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831473714130408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318053408562925,0.0,0.11842271528658513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192546979490745,0.0,0.0,0.08594913903258126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385662710489484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003613645390227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174071655462008,0.15763425900207245,0.0,0.0,0.0769072959644809,0.0,0.0,0.3485907756754835
mentalhealth,reeeeeee334,2019/02/03,"Do I have paranoia? I'm a high school student, and for a long time I've felt... off. I'm going to have trouble describing this. I've had different recurring delusions come and go for years now. The most recent one is as follows: if I'm changing or showering (or whacking off) I'll have thoughts that I'm actually in a friend's house or my school and then I'll get nervous that I've just stripped or started whacking off in public. Even though the other part of me sees my own room/bathroom, I'll still be heavily reluctant to undress because of the nagging fear of that part of me being right and all my senses are just hallucinating. Episodes in the past have included part of me being convinced that I have false memories, and am at the wrong school/place, etc. Is this paranoia? Is it some social disorder? Most, but not all of these delusions have had something to do with others. I've never really been totally comfortable in social situations. Cheers if anyone can help me diagnose. ",4.437438596491226,6.249266463157897,5.248947368421053,79.99096491228073,71.21052631578948,8.435087719298245,31.614035087719287,9.029198982220553,2.8514982456140343,788,36,144,16,15,256,113,190,0.086,0.835,0.078,0.7667,2,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,6,9,1,2,8,0,20,1,0,0,4,26,33,15,0,2,10,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,10,7,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,5,0,1,5,2,9,4,21,25,11,25,0,0,1,0,5,10,0,9,11,101,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.13532195554096266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696131613158827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453196922945493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669451521473548,0.11945196068258845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074717150908564,0.0,0.14488067727377232,0.15892787952520473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465375024930558,0.09159025352044617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604234744456072,0.0,0.0,0.13314498466261526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713612883473904,0.0,0.07244937244879861,0.0,0.15761875864602135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294760470069388,0.1465125106595159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000660783955187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122718621612846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695088350158903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396640783973524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4504984197192558,0.13237624391909508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883557840419402,0.0,0.1369199351151975,0.0,0.0,0.11842345638763835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4210244508327565,0.11050206812342547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587093488564818,0.0,0.2827132850802084,0.0,0.1067549715141333,0.0,0.0,0.09815136796641534,0.0,0.1107420729852337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624261012775155,0.11008852208057124,0.08085961541601136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516139198344681,0.0,0.08929895921467358
mentalhealth,J_P_L14,2019/02/03,"How can I stop letting envy destroy me Ok so I'm 14 in a tiny new york apartment and my pare ts are split up which I'm not really opposed too but I never actually had a sibling which for most if my life I didnt really have a problem with,but at the end of my 7th grade year I started thinking alot and I started getting incredibly jealous of a group of kids  in my school,like a popular group that hung out together alot and at the time I usually went home alone...so in my either grade year i tried hanging out with friends more and even though i only really hung out with one friend i call seb i thought that the burning envy within me would cease yet i wanted to hang out with a group of friend on the weekends which i knew would be impossible but I still just destroyed myself just imagining it and it's gotten so bad that I cant really watch t.v shows where the main character hangs out with more than one person at a time because if I watch those I get super depressed and just kinda stop watching to cry,so recently my friend thing has gotten a little better but after staying with my cousins I now am jealous of every kid in my school with a sibling and this has somehow fueled the friend thing to the point where I tried asking a few friends on a camping trip during spring break which is in a couple fronts and one of my friends who I call art literally asked me if I was lonely.im looking for a therapist but my mom says it'll take a while and I need some advice on what to do until then I'm trying to be more social and I'm inviting my friends to things but nothing has really gotten anywhere so I just want some advice on what to do with this consuming envy that has just gotten worse to the point where the only thing I can really watch without crying is documentaries.i also dont want to really talk about this at school as I'm a 6,2 Male and my friends are very NYC type kids aka tough",7.1453560371517,5.589107759590796,7.4347664557814,78.41233005788128,64.75447570332481,10.277614752995019,33.110916677883964,8.99025400887824,2.5883831202046035,1518,49,310,20,19,497,193,391,0.104,0.7390000000000001,0.157,0.976,0,3,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,21,21,4,0,26,1,25,1,0,1,1,62,50,29,0,10,16,2,0,0,9,3,1,1,1,5,22,23,0,3,4,3,0,6,6,8,0,3,10,6,39,13,50,34,11,57,0,1,5,0,27,27,0,10,22,216,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.07725534868461519,0.0,0.0,0.15472170502446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330963827521734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480204885670433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610094710024195,0.04825932888504462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001657565029185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167624941080588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759652648582746,0.08696098070760655,0.0,0.0,0.06818622397514965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278286616793614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011826128382702,0.0,0.0,0.05228890569566505,0.0,0.066701419116842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5504764589814076,0.0,0.08272274086106032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941072631328315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551369791291183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809533871993105,0.05591783169286035,0.0,0.0793459025351963,0.0,0.0,0.06648014909335698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927191655416134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05870115767875955,0.0610582943766417,0.07645976088243357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596265204452646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093635892149175,0.12041979368038172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912537095116045,0.0,0.0,0.14967637537049094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575190827108197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35501382539484555,0.0,0.07816763574627415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295659392879775,0.0,0.2403629967051971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070055346648128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206929615825807,0.08438124455680311,0.06322268569302167,0.13237393104594278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059523559467969965,0.06363125185504873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191872306713897,0.210379540019806,0.050726870329774784,0.07778095068937588,0.06284957326776146,0.09232556178331157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124712287382353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871910138090195,0.06532087720211263,0.1400838382688106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338838998092508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631394230219724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067770319396156,0.11247560561863823,0.0,0.0,0.10196161005395064
mentalhealth,SubaruCrew,2019/02/03,"Am I going crazy? (Rant) So, for the longest time I've kept this to myself, but over the past 3 months this 'episode' has only gotten worse. I've never experienced something like this before but never for this long.

I've always had racing thoughts, distressing images, and names pop into my head. I know this is a sign and symptom of intrusive thoughts that can be associated with OCD. However, I dont have any physical rituals and the thoughts cant compel me to complete them. Over the past 10 years I'd have on and off bouts of attacks lasting from a week to maybe a month. Overall everything has been mangeable and I've gotten a lot of support from my friends, family, and people in online communities like reddit. 

The past 3 months have been a different story. There is 1 specific name that I can't stop repeating in my head. It's of someone who grossly goes against everything I believe in and has done terrible things. My mind keeps repeating the name over and over and it just wont quit. From the moment I wake up to the moment I'm in bed my mind cant 100 % focus on anything. I dont even know how to classify my problem because I haven't seen anyone with a very similar side effects. It's only one name, nothing else, no other intrusive thoughts about harm to myself or others.

Recently it's really started to wear me down to the point I'm starting to give up hope that I'll feel normal again. That ill be able to fully concentrate and enjoy things without this name popping into my head. I just feel like I'm starting to go crazy. Has anyone else experienced this and gotten help? Does anyone have any advice? I'm at wits end.",4.925548003398472,5.9655707320872295,5.797027754177289,79.48877867459645,69.09345794392524,8.702407250070802,30.16723307844803,8.97023862654752,2.495877258566978,1299,50,243,23,22,427,173,321,0.131,0.795,0.07400000000000001,-0.9579,2,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,8,12,1,1,15,0,25,7,5,3,2,49,51,16,0,3,6,0,2,3,1,1,2,0,1,0,20,15,0,3,9,0,0,2,11,5,0,1,13,5,21,7,42,35,1,45,1,0,1,0,10,19,0,3,27,149,41,0,0.09572440457117606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354078027432801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796503729253867,0.0,0.0,0.13019175527620214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007981881382976,0.09808096466994444,0.07877302871421674,0.0,0.0,0.10890032942344473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835270854478802,0.0,0.08145441785453172,0.10784862398848924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036521695986757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001162887593178,0.0,0.0,0.08376907151561512,0.09795930067971337,0.22437657847850714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993091386381206,0.0,0.08478340994150088,0.0,0.0,0.06322506642090094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206184496666976,0.0,0.0902404493758655,0.0,0.09680227029545316,0.06838553375228859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739564375170383,0.0,0.0,0.09182757136692764,0.10880477017513672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294722566744242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416205060021092,0.0,0.0,0.09507593264835644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508424905357408,0.0,0.0,0.10521525868573464,0.07802816589159424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029832654110866,0.0,0.0,0.08471308577414886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138146562931245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616803062620856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933087213131265,0.0,0.22921891939386704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765712405529025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378959226423796,0.09185014788751138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486533390449102,0.14560544636650358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741393268160067,0.06636324930308182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049050318166764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159532731139587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181468721130747,0.0,0.0,0.061323504731761534,0.0,0.09451630123582212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110697735572346,0.07369332331016769,0.0,0.0,0.20326267873885456,0.0,0.0,0.08002988847660415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862691992185457,0.0,0.09949430856934424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719008185758934,0.0,0.0,0.3039779388390551,0.05581767010072272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898265884186348,0.0,0.0,0.07678434333992339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227491007327064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755134622270037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164337809595305
mentalhealth,gantzypants,2019/02/04,"(18, Male) Always have struggled with social cues, now my lack of social skills has gotten me fired I can’t sleep right now and I just need to get these thoughts out of my head.

Basically my whole life I have always struggled with social interactions. I rarely go out with any friends at all, and I don’t really have many at school. I have a few online friends but I struggle even making those.

I can and excel with talking to strangers but for some reason, with people who I want to know more, impress, or care about a little bit I struggle sooo hard talking to. This has lead to a lot of awkward interactions.

For some reason for a good while my brain’s default move if there is awkwardness is physical contact. Whether it is getting someone with the “there’s something on your shirt” or awkwardly shoulder bumping someone, them my mind always defaults to this for some reason. It’s like instinct. I don’t think about it and it just kind of happens.

After being warned on two occasions not to touch people at my job at all (I worked at Topgolf) I accidentally did it again! Me and this other girl and high school were flipping each other’s hats off and then she thought I pulled her hair. She reported me and well now here I am :(

I tried talking to my counselor but I always do fine with him, he says my social skills are great and I don’t have any form of autism.

I don’t know what to do right now. This happened two days after my birthday and along with my slight depressed mood for turning 18 this weekend sucks. All I can hear in my head is my manager saying “we have to terminate you” over and over again.

I need help, I don’t know what to do and I can’t let this happen again. Any and all help is appreciated :(
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mentalhealth,hooptydoopdy,2019/02/04,"Am I depressed or something? Idk if I’m necessarily depressed but I’m never truly happy, I mean I laugh but it’s just in the moment. I’m always anxious and worried about something no matter the situation and I get paranoid about things for no reason. I can’t ever sleep and I probably get seven hours of  sleep at most on a Saturday every once in while. I dont ever want to go out with friends anymore and if I do I can’t find myself having a good time and I just want to be alone or away. Idk what is wrong. I’m tired of always feeling this way. 
What’s wrong and what can help?",-0.3891822094691513,1.8605654715447173,2.293553323768532,91.50581061692972,93.47154471544715,4.194930655188905,18.61740793878527,5.900188976854957,-0.11192549019607824,455,14,96,4,17,157,76,123,0.315,0.55,0.135,-0.968,0,1,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,4,0,9,3,2,1,3,27,20,13,0,4,8,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,0,1,11,4,14,19,1,16,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,5,8,66,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546947702386998,0.0,0.0,0.2498083560099549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958243223490535,0.14886953862621832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103400099943356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25858035642204397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592869354598312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715675540698507,0.1264747900937808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590051092162244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719851577239034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597520133264708,0.0,0.15685335372037235,0.0,0.0853114045961635,0.12590578409845654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597956960381458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061607868227326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478288617560413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635146248538938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157746726683984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986306103498366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16184478889891252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543388628870954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873078439445566,0.300438337744792,0.0,0.0,0.23112519463365344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972691929320852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753079170909521,0.17253023721242072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17707843176513388,0.11915093474404675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524447640164778,0.0,0.0,0.3282451040350227,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,janielovestacos,2019/02/04,"Favorite Online/Text Mental Health Services My sister is going through a very hard time currently for reasons that would take years to explain. She does have bad social anxiety. I’m looking to help her while she’s still living with my mom and dad (I’m 26, she just turned 18 and my dad is the biggest part of the problem). I live 2 hours away and with my schedule I’m not sure how I could try to get her to therapy every week. With that, I’m looking for some online or texting services that are free or a low cost to where she could have a professional available to her on hand until I can talk to parents about what we need to do for her. Thanks in advance for any advice.",4.47103811841038,5.0882121459854055,4.989002433090025,86.40634225466343,69.87591240875912,7.256772100567722,29.09083536090835,6.937597516519254,1.4321993511759932,532,19,109,4,9,170,92,137,0.078,0.8140000000000001,0.108,0.7307,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,5,0,10,2,1,2,1,21,23,8,0,5,4,5,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,3,0,0,0,4,16,4,22,20,2,17,0,1,2,0,18,6,0,3,9,70,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524584105830994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499607997912994,0.0,0.12936360346902684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887816825783416,0.0,0.14119423770056735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27003053728324444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14798348524221766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247686968034512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834952333335204,0.0,0.09610533344931388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514833905036173,0.0,0.0,0.1797489583886166,0.0,0.0,0.1133464140919458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653274107663416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986427205876353,0.0,0.28400845631521204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041640797744229,0.0,0.0,0.1980518052037548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538799478960755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18776926333217156,0.18312245410983596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180907251568827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386641272835493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17237957440207385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504615748200208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937791052381814,0.0,0.12714467754235315,0.13591887096536825,0.0,0.15568764923118308,0.19338442357269348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860552600329986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481007758760688,0.1839358906341209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952797754165466,0.0,0.0,0.13564451096200605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201261713478168,0.0,0.0,0.10889701613849774
mentalhealth,wellwo553,2019/02/04,"When you realize how dysfunctional your home life really was. I'm staying in an air bnb right now, and in the next room the family is all talking to each other - happily, outgoing, they're HAPPY to be around each other. It's been hours and they haven't gotten into an argument. The kids are all downstairs, not hidden in their rooms. 

Is this normal? Is this how life was really supposed to be? Do families actually love each other, and not act hostile or passive aggressively angry towards each other? 

Wow. ",3.934988179669032,6.512117085106387,5.55567375886525,73.83388888888891,74.95744680851064,8.858628841607569,26.401891252955078,9.444778638647367,2.909396217494089,402,15,66,11,9,136,68,94,0.073,0.722,0.205,0.9399,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,2,0,5,5,2,0,5,0,11,3,0,2,2,18,14,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,7,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,0,4,3,9,8,6,16,0,0,0,1,7,10,0,1,4,52,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.2335209455762376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21302651672421247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511789064081755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25473784348969103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400360391003788,0.0,0.2356609494681267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380474013468547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21597635821025446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544968099015137,0.0,0.2344618514364623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066016624845445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20435972421102447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550605020015717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19233917591973546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rob0Comb0,2019/02/04,"A bit of confusion. Can anyone help? So something started last month that was a little alarming. Something would happen in my day to day life while I was by myself. Something that I heard or thought about triggered something odd. I’d have brief flashes of memories, or at least what I think are memories. They go by too fast to discern what they are or if they actually happened or not. However these flashes are followed by a horrible physical reaction: Nausea most of the time and also a tightness in my chest. My heart rate goes up and I become anxious, basically worried out of my mind. After a few moments the feeling goes away, but it spooked me a lot. This happened three times last month, once this morning and twice just now before typing this. Seems the more recent ones were triggered the same way but the imagery I saw were the moments where I had these “flashbacks” and had a negative reaction to them, and subsequently have the same reaction.

I don’t know if these are flashbacks I’m experiencing or not. I’ve had no significant prior trauma that would cause them and I’m not sure if they can be counted as flashbacks, since the flashes are short, random bits of imagery my mind recognizes. I’m sorry if this is all confusing to read, these incidents have confused me as well. I want to know if anyone can help me find out what’s going on or have had something similar happen. Currently these aren’t affecting my day to day routine, and only happens when I’m alone in my room.",5.478829787234041,6.892094010638296,5.851553191489363,78.22350000000002,68.11347517730496,8.618723404255318,33.60354609929078,8.982922981607832,3.0179809929078014,1189,55,210,21,20,381,153,282,0.106,0.84,0.054000000000000006,-0.9164,4,1,5,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,6,0,9,7,0,4,15,0,26,3,2,4,2,54,48,26,0,8,17,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,16,9,0,1,8,1,0,4,7,5,1,3,11,5,25,2,27,34,10,39,0,0,1,0,9,13,0,18,21,154,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.10320340870854293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953217941528108,0.0,0.08457369729545232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947511337149172,0.0,0.14789526647976134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936202138734353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680010784495284,0.08999127143208642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309181312124278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864139461122906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728176205563582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05347382997051072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665982502008713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020808525601367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4676020695100591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253223506056086,0.14177314535632904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116242373987556,0.17241186030298694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469917535228231,0.0,0.10599612516303104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991067342802228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135684971801844,0.0,0.1688281825661214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126275704939268,0.07166356379044715,0.08043283342444961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578544749065792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442210923979373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962770444364003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748314114050215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4070838657628958,0.0,0.11838611072077232,0.07485522732099657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967455898936496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776470523123218,0.0,0.0839591084313104,0.12333531398411028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06237811733198704,0.08394484764285669,0.0,0.0,0.09508808942818434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740119258656386,0.0,0.15025323287050055,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,midnightcocktails,2019/02/04,"Your gut is the seat of your immune system. This makes great sense. Gut bacteria may have impact on mental health, study says

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2019/feb/04/gut-bacteria-mental-health-depression-study?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Post_on_Reddit",27.11875000000001,36.11437670833333,10.638333333333335,33.04000000000002,31.91666666666667,6.533333333333335,16.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,0.7034333333333334,227,2,18,2,3,47,22,24,0.0,0.777,0.223,0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,4,2,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343173058060977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6446485710388696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20241150391529547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6111784728494566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24114438891305304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mere_human,2019/02/04,"Could it be more than chronic depression? I’ve had acute, chronic depression for 6+ years [19 M]. Along with my depression I have been experiencing many other concerning symptoms. These include but are not limited to IBS, paranoia, disordered eating, mood swings, orthostatic hypotension, substance abuse, nausea, and motor tics, as well as some typical symptoms of depression, namely acute anhedonia . Much of the symptoms are acute. I’ve been through therapy for ADD as a child and more extensively for depression later on. I’ve been on many medications, some of which triggered events that made my condition worse. I am unsurprisingly afraid of medical professionals.

I would like to clarify that symptoms such as disordered eating and substance abuse emerged much later.

It brings me shame to pity myself, but I am desperate. The memory of my happy childhood is quickly fading. I do not remember what happiness is like and am now uncertain if I have been happy. I want to live a normal life.

So my question is this: could this be something more than just depression?",7.291615925058547,9.632035573770494,7.304578454332558,65.97405737704918,64.84699453551912,11.348790007806402,37.11514441842311,11.20814326018867,5.1203242779078835,862,44,127,28,14,276,111,183,0.257,0.644,0.099,-0.9908,0,0,1,0,2,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,6,17,0,3,4,0,21,11,0,2,0,27,24,12,0,6,6,0,0,2,0,1,9,0,0,1,10,7,2,1,2,0,0,1,2,10,1,0,6,1,13,6,23,13,7,11,0,7,0,0,3,2,0,5,10,93,23,1,0.0,0.2447109591030858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490190167962412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5336665293567018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367077355533655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113375202425488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297915421372116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294111485910662,0.10090288063368597,0.0,0.09118737651516257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771450766070527,0.0,0.20939472076359747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20806292751006195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518274588644714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011805372120481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568359171781024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698230856143395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950061261015864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42933921973882144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809575140349822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091003547963907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285017163850504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523873042078333,0.07335849602805841,0.0,0.0,0.06650108994761186
mentalhealth,macattack900,2019/02/04,I pushed away everyone who cares about me and I’m so fucking broken. I cant stop thinking about how much of a piece of shit I am and everyone is happier without me. I pushed away my close friend group who I was always able to talk too and we’d always do stuff together but now I’m dead to them (their words) and I pushed away the only girl who ever cared about me and wanted to see me happy and doing well for myself. I cant live with this loneliness anymore and this constant state of thinking I’m worthless and a failure. My mental health hasn’t been this bad in a long time and I don’t know how to deal with it. ,2.5577862595419845,3.7095390152671786,3.841137404580152,90.8560572519084,74.87786259541986,6.7667175572519085,23.023664122137408,7.1686216300943375,0.6450909923664123,485,13,108,5,10,159,81,131,0.198,0.67,0.132,-0.9283,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,2,0,13,9,2,0,4,0,11,3,1,2,1,23,22,13,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,8,12,0,1,3,0,0,3,5,4,1,0,2,1,18,5,18,19,2,15,0,1,1,1,11,5,2,0,6,77,26,0,0.15736854311856774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618864688115912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560673085846554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4435587795466723,0.0,0.13139616021556666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208954355459719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005948891200576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224005792570334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234885676986705,0.0,0.3007447736611001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158254604385588,0.14548468231019548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675217404058842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167275402450202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648563575501729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895930669905787,0.13926620856067748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15859047798715795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156839862487904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968586833981235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540235429153684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16153654806447929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131567148544029,0.0,0.0,0.18014933177668635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648687394423813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016708163342176,0.0,0.0,0.09176286301673732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282004400969113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149321946585214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516976598567423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crash_And-Burn,2019/02/04,"I don’t know where to go to help with my procrastinating I need some help, I don’t know where to look for help for procrastinating, I should be doing homework but I’m not, so I came here to see if there are some things that might help me. Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks in advance.",4.226186440677964,5.015073271186445,4.962500000000002,85.75527542372883,70.52542372881356,7.933898305084746,23.224576271186447,8.07648339933343,0.7922169491525417,229,5,52,3,4,74,40,59,0.076,0.7140000000000001,0.21,0.8047,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,13,16,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,9,12,2,6,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,4,0,37,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897145504282438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395962129677656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6791426141455472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784206753189202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21271321969754808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26871760662659544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18782316857153533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20185206400825165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835552971310312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23321010623959826,0.0,0.0,0.16828523223248076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kazoo_human,2019/02/04,"I’m so fucking done with school I’m so tired of it, the pure though of going to school makes me anxious, and it’s been like that since I was like I was like 7-8 years old. In that time, thinking of going to school make me physically sick (years later I found out i had gastritis because of stress) and I cried, and begged to my mom to stay home.
Now I can barely get out of bed in the morning, I can’t bring myself to do my homework on time and I end up doing it late in the night, and I kind of feel pressured to get good grades, cause my classmates and teacher consider me one of the “smart kids” 
Does anyone have some advice on how to get trough it? ",1.439652278177462,2.9646459568345342,2.7649100719424493,95.87072242206236,78.64028776978418,5.496642685851318,20.216426858513188,5.985473137389443,-0.20042494004796207,504,12,119,3,12,163,85,139,0.096,0.812,0.092,-0.1132,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,9,1,2,4,0,10,3,0,4,1,18,24,10,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,3,1,6,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,6,1,16,6,23,18,1,22,0,0,0,1,2,8,1,1,13,72,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475040328802289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705275741024542,0.0,0.10554591790011884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920161218946242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506453978039042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658086091484567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209506958300074,0.15447157770128486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369457525405395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763235308635761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16550601113779065,0.0,0.13954842061213474,0.2365913280101875,0.0,0.17157374944245316,0.12660750081728026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141252978443587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157188468014319,0.0,0.0,0.17027521961079978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22123579587929035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20151709674735055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767877472719864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165389081190882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839388338174895,0.0,0.10228585133644597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4583004222140485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486523270470595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088982304859736,0.0,0.0,0.17290971396031796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967209862100642,0.14830503459262412,0.0,0.17603726250067184,0.1734918082222156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19441032762069646
mentalhealth,drpzx,2019/02/04,"Memory losses, psychology related? Hi redditers,

About me: Age: 21 Gender: Male

English is not my native language.

For most of my life i've been suffering from people labeling me dumb and it's honestly mostly because of my memory. I tend to forget things really easily. Recently i stopped smoking pot because it contributed to my memory loss and stress but am still having issues with the feeling of being mocked or not being smart enough when am together with my peers.

For example today i was with my friends and we were arguing about things that they have told me in the past when i have honestly zero memory of it.

I tend to only remember things that are related to me or the things i've done. Especially when, for some reason am feeling surppressed by others for not knowing something or not being smart enough etc.

Honestly i also feel that people who i consider friends, do not expect me to be good enough or smart enough for most of the things and activites. Am being laughed at when i do make a mistake or when i do not know something. I've always blamed myself for it but it isn't really a healthy relationship, isn't it?

Now digging a bit deeper.

I'm for some reason, constantly feeling am not good enough for anything. I really try to be though. I try to learn, read and work for it but nothing really sticks with me. I need constant approval or compliments for the things i've done and when i do not get it i usually ditch the project. It's like am doing everything for everybody else and not for myself which is depressing.

Do i need professional help? Or what do you suggest me to do? I honestly would like to feel normal for once and not be overthinking or overstressing everything. I would like to enjoy activites for me and not because i want to impress someone.",4.8715088757396465,6.642979997041423,5.853372781065088,76.25124260355031,70.03550295857988,9.57869822485207,30.45562130177515,9.943994293440598,3.281499408284024,1421,59,248,37,26,469,156,338,0.113,0.7020000000000001,0.185,0.987,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,1,1,1,4,12,27,3,1,9,0,36,1,0,3,0,63,52,28,0,8,22,0,5,3,2,2,1,0,0,1,22,14,0,1,11,1,0,0,13,9,0,1,6,5,37,18,40,37,12,18,0,4,0,0,13,2,1,13,19,197,59,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303091347088918,0.07598799280478304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515098949698745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670088299973679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970098623287373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973752867564515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865630508562131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691012638910376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628858902726053,0.0,0.0,0.4718049900015335,0.10184920616140808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415032042038016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308780847011284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411117370957321,0.0,0.04771246128145838,0.0,0.0,0.15319468041770104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121183442438079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953174116216647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037738715240514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450408561945002,0.13384731089351778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095876436157365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542958967613192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947708090224046,0.08762681354088071,0.0,0.0,0.09725593911832828,0.0,0.06945520280990812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717806930678873,0.12662364092804712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091347642461233,0.0,0.2340152275588885,0.18779036201808466,0.0901703752846238,0.0980466492867554,0.1034510764194272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737762153979888,0.1406097050342564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293060920949385,0.07635005796425481,0.10461010682730276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640253775366996,0.0,0.08972431424715492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656345875246282,0.08726297238929476,0.0,0.12400454863692567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005793044851155,0.0,0.05386462972565673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648418009361197,0.0,0.0,0.12974637741274356,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ArizonaRanger0,2019/02/04,"Tips on how to heal 24(M) Hello all, 

I'm new here, and I hope this is an acceptable / appropriate spot for this post. 

I've had a difficult life, as I'm sure many of you have, the type of life where my friends say ""dude I don't know how you deal with all the shit you've dealt with"" etc. 

There's been times where things have been extremely awful, and times where things have sucked, and though far fewer, times where things have been ok.

Regardless; for the better part of a month straight, my life has gotten a little bit worse with every passing day, culminating now in losing my relationship, my job, my home, and having to move and start over again somewhere new. 

While I know things will improve with time, in this interim, I'm at a loss for what to do, and how to be functional or ok. If anyone has any tips for me, about how to manage my feelings / survive this extremely difficult period, please share them with me. I want to learn how to be healthy, I don't want to live the rest of my life with the pain I've carried thus far. 

Thank you. ",5.600007974481662,5.372743861244022,5.486710526315791,86.74655701754385,67.32535885167465,9.263317384370016,26.98604465709729,8.841846274778883,1.5729518341307815,813,20,180,12,12,253,118,209,0.098,0.731,0.172,0.9177,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,1,4,15,16,2,0,10,3,18,7,1,6,3,32,31,16,0,5,2,0,1,0,1,1,6,1,1,0,9,12,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,5,2,18,9,29,23,6,29,0,2,0,0,10,13,2,3,13,112,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922506803603002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485377642424588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199766410769646,0.1481011347535296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748684863551325,0.13985530131625748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129221461278958,0.0,0.0,0.11429596701038007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685917113278952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048074306010668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607395277564002,0.13473694173787953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461757281005018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149105896566988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3832711646067745,0.0,0.13596287423338707,0.11978666648402407,0.0,0.0,0.15176427984426566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753381519564647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827926453907212,0.1441807789722729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620346740189095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434746790344416,0.0,0.0,0.146902146437914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890946816614095,0.0,0.0,0.12992087671340405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14564369488014114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787903582931213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924885686056387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601796143304624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785410322589774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248937491423964,0.0,0.0,0.3604950731804029,0.0,0.1332812568568602,0.0,0.31640824148929425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002675774571476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824497626620874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,D3struction209,2019/02/04,"Europe Laws and legal info on therapist's obligation to report suicidal thoughts Hey everyone, i'm not sure this is the best place to ask this question as it is a bit more of a general subreddit but I wasn't sure where else would be worth a try. My understanding of US law regarding discussing suicidal thoughts with a therapist is that you are held temporarily when they deem you to be a threat to yourself or others. For some reason it's difficult to search up that information as not many places have it. Is this similar to how things are in Europe (EU members) or if not, how does it differ?

It would also be helpful to get information from people here that have been held or know someone who has been held due to this. What did you/they say to the therapist which made them consider you/them a threat. 

Again if you have a suggestion for a better place to ask i'd love to hear it. Thanks for helping in advance",4.662995272883542,6.029679743016764,5.469385474860334,80.37431456811345,70.00558659217877,9.530038676407392,29.41168886978943,9.851270322608157,2.807774043833263,730,28,142,18,13,238,109,179,0.127,0.742,0.131,-0.0449,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,3,2,3,7,9,2,0,10,0,19,1,0,4,2,34,34,13,2,4,9,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,18,2,0,3,9,0,1,1,4,3,0,0,10,2,8,6,24,19,4,12,0,0,0,1,20,8,0,7,3,99,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296773857794818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24074272711360176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351235936622815,0.11387600141295602,0.14057040503104584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452472158358808,0.0,0.0,0.11267700716017175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756080018868544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303380173516835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672707488740092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511964145920406,0.0,0.17260756754463066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076203807560362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620913615195895,0.12183394762487287,0.0,0.1305404184761405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926459588968627,0.0,0.40357416475076413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423844515846318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238468468180972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239354199494884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909624880523104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28168074164877865,0.0,0.2427058118799089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854308160440402,0.0,0.4484939404985168,0.08554110428154238,0.0,0.0,0.20443896399590494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874182407126337,0.0,0.0,0.1340416351630497,0.1548800392430024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829320001070024,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NoAcanthaceae2,2019/02/04,"Went cold turkey on years of coping via alcohol, year+ later I'm coping by mentally clocking out. Any advice on how to not do this? I'm living with family issues which are very stressful, trying to work over stunted personal development from childhood issues, trying to stay above-water on stagnant wages and still put in the additional effort to work on a better future, working 6-7 days a week, and barely get to socialize outside of work. I'm not asocial, but the way I grew up minimized socialization so it feels like I'm relearning existing from scratch.

I'm mentally clocked out most of my days, to the point my coworkers think I have rare disorders like autism, bipolarism, etc.

My health insurance has been in and out of limbo with two jobs, anyone here have advice?",6.968360528360527,7.8712376153846195,7.4402331002331055,70.0196658896659,64.45454545454545,10.831080031080036,33.37140637140637,10.746095033038511,3.904559285159287,621,25,101,16,9,204,99,143,0.016,0.915,0.069,0.8076,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,6,4,4,0,1,5,0,6,3,0,1,0,16,15,6,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,9,1,0,2,0,1,3,2,1,0,1,2,3,5,3,26,13,2,28,0,0,0,0,3,12,0,1,13,58,8,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731775250558679,0.0,0.14937942765011555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505335903957862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773554006864367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236216654024714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802895935751047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019689869184725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558886410302424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176960117358494,0.0,0.07067560410964037,0.0998569330151385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302787159270853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857673654444792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917823775803128,0.1387074049901205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657625940108675,0.0,0.1234259191692659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28172529040389804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204814930149264,0.0,0.0,0.1321347311179765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051479601623298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849707151705303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898400677214133,0.11162633453576737,0.0,0.16011442804466194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956365164362097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18979922669150529,0.0,0.13654211435263616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153309134340938,0.0,0.1109487168269491,0.11212092103104374,0.0,0.0,0.1295749600203447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4070381645735463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002400038731697
mentalhealth,Shimmiy,2019/02/04,"Questions on case workers? All my searches keep finding results on how to BE a case worker, not how to GET a case worker so i figured i would come here instead.

I have recently started seeing a pyschologist who prescribed me some new medications for Rapid Cycling Bipolar Type 2 disorder and depression, and I started seeing a therapist at the same time. When i was going through the setup process they asked me if i was interested in a case worker. At the time I brushed the idea off thinking such a thing was unneccessary. I now consider such thing fairly necessary.


My big question is how does one qualify for such thing? I am 100% physically capable and can in theory accomplish any daily task i need to do. My struggles are all mental and at this point its really taking its toll and I've fallen very far behind on things that most people would call ""living a normal life.""


I badly need help being a human, but I would imagine someone with disabilities or whatever needs help more than i do. Does anyone know how this works?",5.5918303571428565,7.2149022604166735,6.352321428571429,73.94625000000002,68.0625,9.235714285714286,32.464285714285715,9.606745405546679,3.330684821428571,822,36,137,18,14,270,128,192,0.054000000000000006,0.882,0.064,0.4098,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,6,12,4,0,1,12,0,15,3,0,5,2,37,30,14,0,8,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,10,7,0,1,8,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,3,3,19,1,18,22,6,23,0,1,2,0,9,12,0,6,8,102,29,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066135412741758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321960316318977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463507912788856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131562734351533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613339837943586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148423393591722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148272850987856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279489235481086,0.0,0.23333635656083296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185096581747505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965356926398923,0.0,0.07576814506166715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872155970756176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505006949752443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184998730180189,0.0,0.0,0.07326852462414622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416700951561813,0.0,0.0,0.11772294087626635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343046628265323,0.13435399115838853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965625976383845,0.0,0.12876012557363362,0.0,0.0,0.13062411547789415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903402676341856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242646791801223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602935626325318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986951297120698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540743562487105,0.0,0.13163622902195982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247564183633466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296058464918468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872746238997606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937375396278115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023914413583136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479339966667402,0.3542843409192116,0.0854253023843794,0.0,0.0,0.1554785261119835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000197037048626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705767253951204,0.0,0.0,0.2841175463331909,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JEFFOBIRCH95,2019/02/04,"(Venting)Hard to find motivation to attend lectures/class/school Im a 6th semester physiotherapy student, and Im at the top of my class grade wise. I’ve always found school to be tedious and boring. Since my 3rd semester i started skipping classes and lectures because i felt like i was not learning anything new or important, and the things i did learn i felt like i could’ve learned that through just reading the litterature myself, and save 1 hour of my time on something i can learn in 15 min studying at home. I am motivated to become a physiotherapist and i spend a lot of time studying and expanding my knowledge. I never show up for classes anymore because i actually feel like Im wasting my time there. A whole days worth of learning (8 hours or so of classes) i can fit in to about 1-2 hours of home studying. I didnt show up for the entire 5th semester, and i passes the clinical exam with top grades. I do feel like i should show up for the social side of things, i feel like an outcast in my class. I spend my time working out, being with my gf, and working a parttime job. What should i do to get motivated for school? ",3.688928749377183,5.435857237668163,4.904446935724966,81.96610737419034,73.03587443946188,7.287394120577978,31.222969606377678,7.984000788550335,2.245076930742401,896,42,172,13,18,296,115,223,0.023,0.789,0.187,0.9843,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,7,4,8,0,0,12,0,12,1,0,3,1,37,20,12,0,2,4,0,5,5,1,2,1,0,2,0,4,12,0,0,16,4,3,2,3,1,0,0,6,5,28,7,31,10,2,28,0,0,0,0,2,14,0,3,17,105,32,24,0.0,0.0,0.1113363272072518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493282523393748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131475833618352,0.0,0.0,0.09388714570212882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909759060132754,0.1260045107772833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109235449354736,0.0,0.0,0.07357923602103911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730634648154477,0.2445198315763201,0.2190904427761421,0.0,0.10427707806264827,0.0,0.0,0.12509485786451152,0.0,0.0,0.059607821987746876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220309781604994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288850871588103,0.0,0.3370698655987053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36971347150608463,0.0,0.11321768147846364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27869542068596864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699606128782856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799398821156645,0.11018976809679594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412184290198267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3463984527328228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437722793288787,0.0,0.0,0.11630137433241244,0.0,0.08783280135129683,0.0,0.0,0.0807541745614243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159393947580962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661094443638733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273784916452392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611916742854704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jperezident,2019/02/04,"Few emotions For a year now I’ve been dating this girl who is in love with me. She is constantly doing her best for me, she shows up when I’m sick, she makes me laugh and just so many more things girlfriends do. However I don’t feel like I love her. I want to but it feels so numb. I feel like “eh” all the time. I speak in a very monotone voice for most of what I say even if it is exciting or sad it’s all the same. A few months ago my mother was having surgery for cancer and my family went to the hospital but I didn’t (for other reasons). Everyone cried and prayed for a good surgery . Yet I didn’t cry.. I felt okay like “it was nothing” like it’s no big deal. After everything went well, they returned home and my sister told me “why don’t you care about my mom enough to even cry?”. 
I don’t know why I won’t cry at certain things
I feel like I can’t love, even my own family.

What can I do? Who can I speak to? I feel like I need help I just don’t know where. 


Thanks for reading.",-0.5104166666666643,1.4095343472222233,1.468148148148149,100.56666666666668,87.47222222222223,5.0814814814814815,16.407407407407412,6.42735559955562,-0.5994592592592594,753,16,192,8,24,248,119,216,0.099,0.634,0.268,0.9893,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,1,13,20,0,0,7,1,20,6,0,2,3,28,40,11,0,3,6,3,6,6,1,1,3,4,1,1,13,5,0,0,9,2,0,2,9,2,1,0,9,10,34,18,19,30,10,19,1,1,0,3,23,6,0,3,17,124,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281056327830194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987658181324347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674900804129084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314390756901115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4600337729285539,0.0,0.10794148703713337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777382717867277,0.0,0.10818347333463596,0.0,0.20746082645700367,0.0,0.0,0.10004569310031736,0.09409794400443083,0.0,0.1974043868691459,0.0,0.2646982720523491,0.2991918691553022,0.10052877715329156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781770527650933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017845293658961,0.0,0.1050230107216954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150811735412904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069078813455225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834885228354755,0.0,0.06988831189345014,0.1061497447031895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226238112766724,0.08357083871425572,0.0,0.0,0.0776339998195064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004628315405076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047287062643672,0.0,0.0,0.10764942111898318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326193886076533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639403638756344,0.0,0.0,0.1391165508294162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105162939073488,0.0,0.0,0.10004569310031736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638877271672186,0.06175499260390065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413820920730748,0.1941165891722972,0.18895160280355228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742360738303804
mentalhealth,HILLxHXUSE,2019/02/04,"How can I get out of my mental ""Safe space""? I recently moved out of my mom's house last year. I live about 7 minutes from her and the rest of my family, but I only ever visit once every 2 weeks or so for a couple of minutes. I love my mother more than anything, but it seems no matter what I'm doing, all I ever want to do is sit at my computer chair and do nothing. I dread going to work because I just want to go home and sit in my chair. I have no friends. I'm not exaggerating, I have 0 friends because all I want to do is sit at home and not be social. I'm engaged, and we live together, and that's sometimes too much for me. Every waking moment if I'm not sitting at home in my chair, I wish I was. I'll constantly cancel plans with coworkers or not go to the gym just so I can go home and sit. It's my mental safe space. I want to go to my folks house and enjoy being there, enjoy their company. I want to have the drive to go out and find friends. I only work 40-50 hours a week, I'm not in school but I live in northern GA so finding friends is difficult as I don't really have any hobbies. How can I look forward to and enjoy others people company, instead of always having my chair in the back of my mind.",2.5671865828092244,2.9575714566037767,4.801477987421387,86.86024633123692,74.05660377358491,7.549266247379456,24.91090146750524,7.594959193182576,1.0705555555555557,936,27,214,11,18,329,129,265,0.041,0.738,0.222,0.9937,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,1,3,14,13,0,1,6,0,19,2,1,2,4,47,40,22,0,7,13,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,5,15,0,2,3,1,0,10,8,2,0,0,1,1,35,11,34,37,5,39,0,0,1,1,12,14,0,4,12,140,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196821219746632,0.0,0.0,0.06699017864509597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106533712193134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574811001140619,0.0,0.12010156439007955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064543146241009,0.0,0.0,0.10899944227514084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782158711861293,0.16599784887298022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286646165693077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18007271227645513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044343292375526,0.0,0.05146740960547922,0.0,0.3359130219578516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952542515581211,0.0,0.09701250753074273,0.2273346296016966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029879866567177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609584066716098,0.0,0.08272359035510986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890912187455359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985498221597865,0.0,0.09946701883654932,0.11537372242593955,0.0,0.10470054099132964,0.07241618534718226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452300266647676,0.0,0.0,0.1049099359104694,0.0,0.1498425893882081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829443103906171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310802905159098,0.0,0.09726674152643214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969738008080682,0.0,0.08967980501734088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041854023246947,0.0,0.0,0.09742890975699672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905187541032581,0.0,0.1580375613363619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328163938646353,0.0,0.0,0.1434329077671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343721078457458
mentalhealth,Iwillforgetusername7,2019/02/04,"What is going on with me So, I am depressed for 2-4 weeks at a time, then I feel on top of the world for a few days. Then I feel sad and lazy again. I don’t understand it and I want the old me back. (I am also constantly anxious, but less when I am in that <1 week happy state)",-0.7155729166666658,0.6267769218750026,2.0293750000000017,99.51145833333337,84.46875,5.516666666666668,16.916666666666664,6.42735559955562,-0.5885645833333335,209,4,57,2,6,73,48,64,0.122,0.7559999999999999,0.122,0.2525,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,10,8,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,9,1,8,10,2,19,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,11,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22389134141175876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162856095154255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527910383406645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30254734340032097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055703185632072,0.0,0.2411371406867586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28312177202558514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911300036042733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980325170083489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937806757211747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632523454359357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914579062932625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16513314199105755,0.0,0.4491489566075012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,61114311536123511,2019/02/04,"I think I'm having tiny panic attacks This has happened before a few months ago, but recently I've been experiencing ""episodes"" of chest tightness, shaking, hyperventilating and mildly increased anxiety. They make me quite stressed and last for 5-10 minutes, sometimes longer.

It started again maybe 2 weeks ago, getting more frequent until now where it's happening every 1-2 hours. 

I'm not sure if I can call these panic attacks and I'm gonna drive myself nuts trying to find out on google, anyone willing to share their experiences? ",7.814062500000002,8.870568947916668,7.366666666666667,70.74500000000002,62.64583333333334,8.9,36.83333333333333,8.841846274778883,3.3954083333333336,433,20,68,6,6,136,81,96,0.245,0.703,0.052000000000000005,-0.9583,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,1,3,8,2,4,1,0,5,1,1,1,1,12,15,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,6,0,0,1,2,6,2,7,12,3,18,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,12,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058630353401392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319798709930871,0.0,0.0,0.12063231982796645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39254037569299133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680464217029365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616560353542435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453583417256388,0.0,0.0,0.16876091595016085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15768319303084755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013631639156022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30512361210194955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16990072241364024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062953581445928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151606587411292,0.0,0.17332286812871664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770647161366492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048378980487203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834997918766022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034596953310108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062997929871546,0.0,0.12211289702388538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976248852709043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260119157176672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054598012601737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171320125783805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838780443351095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gigakhan,2019/02/04,"I am a mental health pharmacist. Here is my website dedicated to mainstream and lesser known treatments for depression. [https://myhappinessexperiments.com/](https://myhappinessexperiments.com/)

​

I have been working on this website for months, and I am happy with how it is turning out. I have a section for prescription medications but also discuss alternative treatments for depression like supplements and music therapy. I hope this is helpful. ",13.377187499999998,17.350541093750003,11.711375000000006,33.89612500000004,52.125,11.37,45.6125,11.20814326018867,6.60281625,386,21,38,10,5,121,46,64,0.102,0.6890000000000001,0.209,0.775,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,1,0,9,10,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,3,8,9,1,4,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,35,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919352226411296,0.0,0.2600498030453683,0.2916373755554201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134390413932072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554941926096719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25511849261429426,0.0,0.0,0.16087306744696048,0.0,0.0,0.2383832309354439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725634253273726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417839584288259,0.2418727624888479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19157300582310124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744713687313037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610610240911214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472951250249513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916373755554201,0.0
mentalhealth,a-very-funny-guy,2019/02/04,"I wish I could be happy If I'm ever happy, it doesn't last more than a couple months, I'm in the biggest wave of depression I've been in for a very long time, I nearly killed myself two weeks ago, after I got to the hospital and shit I started to feel a bit better for a week. Maybe things would actually finally improve.

Just seems that that was the quiet before the next storm, I'm sad every night and sometimes sad in the day too now, I feel like a big sack of worthless shit and those dark thoughts briefly made a return earlier. I've had 2 appointments with a GP and they said they'd tell local areas to refer me, I've self referred to a therapy place, twice now, no response.

I needed to say this shit somewhere, idk, sorry.",5.9372000000000025,5.082238553333337,6.6691666666666665,80.64375000000003,66.8,9.366666666666667,30.083333333333336,8.472884824447931,2.0605333333333338,573,17,118,7,8,190,104,150,0.206,0.68,0.115,-0.9274,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,1,5,12,4,0,13,0,8,3,3,1,1,19,21,5,1,5,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,6,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,8,0,2,7,5,11,4,16,10,2,26,0,4,0,0,6,9,3,2,18,67,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.13640226450119894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390394548937612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893999783809996,0.0,0.0,0.12362146613702628,0.15260036662506496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116006225761013,0.15466067759118848,0.0,0.09014465148338582,0.0,0.12038979198664247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643636893836166,0.11776821628393808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413509803756311,0.0998567720560045,0.0,0.15311895609221948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111792497712374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975905961703299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464262649673913,0.0,0.0,0.11393697391627472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828801962708242,0.0,0.0,0.12369831501135058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322604503474855,0.0,0.0,0.14042486161036646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156872966607036,0.0,0.0,0.1036429318170856,0.0,0.0,0.14865450759989562,0.13117131842390595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603729589636227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296000927954288,0.11115634222592756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272478016466959,0.14581797602375773,0.0,0.4304374840423729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824310368443485,0.15646899448260482,0.09893493484475148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217132661163707,0.0,0.1598472697522736,0.0,0.09286167932711947,0.0,0.0,0.11096738624084282,0.08150513791608148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654189426075256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153307275324905,0.0,0.0,0.2242414806072379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073674085346115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992936254171697,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shelbtastraphie,2019/02/04,"Reaching out My self destructive thoughts tend to stem from my hatred towards my condition. So as easy as it might sound to “just be positive” or “just smile”, let me tell you, that it’s absolutely not. It’s hard to accept that no matter what I do, for the rest of my life, I’m going to be in limbo with my emotions. It’s extremely difficult especially because my mood swings don’t have a rhyme or reason, I just start feeling a certain type of way and then in turn, the self destructive thoughts start back up because I’m pissed at myself for always being a downer. The last couple of months have been bad for me. I stopped taking my meds, which caused me to have not only my bipolar symptoms, but I was also going through withdrawals. I dosed back onto them, and for the first week I felt really good. After that, it’s like I’m right back to where I was mentally when I wasn’t taking them. Extremely terrible depression. I’ve been in a low and stuck there for 2 months. I’ve pretty much withdrawn from most everyone at this point, because I feel like being around me is just too draining. And I get so tired of being told to smile. If I’m gonna smile, it’s gonna be because I feel happy. Not to make you feel more comfortable in my presence. I know that most of my issue is that my medication is off now, but thanks to the lovely healthcare system, I cannot even see my psychiatrist until the middle of April. So here I am, already 2 months into an extreme low, and still have 2 more months of just sucking it up and dealing with feeling like a piece of shit until I can get my medication situation figured out. 
Moral of my story here... 
to anyone who may think that I’m being grouchy/bitchy/a downer because I barely say I word, (& apparently have resting bitch face) I really hope that you can understand that I’m just doing my best to exist right now. I’m constantly fighting an internal conflict that feels like it will never end. If you see me crying, don’t worry, it could be any one of my 20 billion emotions causing the tears, and it’ll probably pass very soon. 
Please don’t ask me what’s wrong, most of the time I don’t even know and that’s the most frustrating part about it. 
I’m sorry, because I feel like a total bummer, man. And that’s the last thing I ever want to be. But I’m here. I’m trying my fucking hardest. And I’m not quitting. So don’t quit on me. Please.",4.6152294129433,5.089207163561079,5.609018900687903,82.59952714886799,69.4968944099379,8.385467174246978,28.41708408468577,8.360895534625662,1.8639140987110123,1872,62,380,26,31,619,231,483,0.151,0.69,0.159,0.3648,1,0,0,0,2,0,59.0,0,4,2,4,30,31,9,0,18,0,39,12,3,4,4,70,88,28,0,5,17,0,9,5,0,6,7,2,0,3,28,16,0,2,17,0,0,3,13,16,0,3,10,13,52,14,55,61,13,57,1,3,2,2,17,23,5,11,34,259,80,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697754830102009,0.06303067203919649,0.06558283370376125,0.08539919679181288,0.0,0.05359889679285198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055111330920474384,0.0,0.0,0.07016467018028077,0.07368412712605182,0.0,0.0,0.18181837455297656,0.06580968130071539,0.2882800800625355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271455734105944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193545588291364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851741843072197,0.0,0.06292970552296077,0.0872105430250466,0.08657779770214973,0.0,0.08125782738843862,0.06788576965620169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731913062246707,0.0698092936770048,0.0,0.0,0.10411700195993966,0.07129533223936861,0.0,0.07531391204667796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789690037368837,0.22523018653135934,0.07567757537639644,0.0,0.0,0.06704249300874375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286590841971585,0.08235823314501528,0.0,0.08958809465030902,0.0661087421794785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390315462008703,0.07060538598279363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782839910360268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226544385132274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663254872577554,0.12849426913974682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805966759253974,0.05567143655526705,0.19253230253926545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113626122037743,0.0,0.05261158188745064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875489546307892,0.1588015495890572,0.07942993765221558,0.08361337074872878,0.0,0.0,0.2516468865993633,0.0,0.057940249198601024,0.0,0.060789248414223486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340907079722288,0.059944589238531625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535214000397381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730368423201403,0.07450842229567846,0.0,0.0,0.08018617277724413,0.08497906191540483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676651459305701,0.0,0.0,0.10098557144791692,0.08103796158322761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462016717818234,0.0,0.06267918333983401,0.0,0.0,0.12561537501166234,0.0,0.16444858602597587,0.0,0.08090547493245277,0.0,0.08859465832444614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823022236770822,0.11157547640861952,0.0,0.06294410260299926,0.0658953206937067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192201057848761,0.1185225522572564,0.0,0.06889034693132773,0.07256496260201528,0.0,0.0,0.052363132028572165,0.050503348533306805,0.0,0.12514526850469904,0.04595937020127056,0.09058961867169696,0.0,0.07531391204667796,0.0,0.053512202333455834,0.08573127727822351,0.0,0.08205224725960153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503304868590096,0.046488858613331636,0.06256200604158435,0.06322299112186179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004343623400154,0.0,0.0,0.0861750359989753,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yobonobo,2019/02/04,"Advice on starting meds? So I met with a psychiatrist for the first time today and was prescribed Zoloft. I’ve dealt with low grade but long term depression and anxiety for many years and have been in counseling. I agree with the decision to try medication, but I’m wondering if it would be a good idea to wait until after a vacation I have planned next week. I’m worried about potential side effects completely ruining the vacation instead of my normal gnawing anxiety. ",8.091162790697672,8.596483000000003,8.269162790697674,66.41188372093025,62.023255813953504,12.926511627906976,40.45581395348837,12.340626583579946,5.584677209302328,382,20,62,13,5,125,66,86,0.17800000000000002,0.746,0.077,-0.8095,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,6,0,6,2,0,1,0,16,12,8,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,4,1,13,7,1,15,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,2,11,39,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187267580081209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34246285909300245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346843639537003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19278680658983569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039200996664754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774027836757576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25267991269555085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980849267870463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269312612584818,0.0,0.0,0.248627709003316,0.22548793202048464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23804865290030636,0.0,0.21930855601907345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842996182773808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051866773927884,0.0,0.21216726061683455,0.0,0.0,0.15196773423505916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954511855973018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427370529411182,0.0,0.2273130073972812,0.0,0.1590043528028306,0.0,0.0,0.14414094263544444
mentalhealth,hur-yerr-derrin,2019/02/04,"My first love just destroyed me I'm a 26yo male and I broke up with my first girlfriend yesterday for lying and cheating. We had been official for not even a month when we decided to make it Facebook official. Two days after we were official on Facebook an old friend reached out and told me she knew that she had been sleeping with her ex boyfriend/current roommate(long story). We were together practically every second of the day.

Im getting so worked up I don't even want to type it all out. I'm really low right now. ",4.200588235294116,5.916839401960787,4.884460784313728,82.75257352941178,71.64705882352942,8.629411764705884,30.39705882352941,9.188382445141503,2.6882705882352944,417,18,80,9,8,134,74,102,0.152,0.768,0.08,-0.7792,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,4,0,0,3,6,6,2,0,4,0,7,2,1,1,1,18,15,5,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,11,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,4,8,0,13,2,13,7,1,17,0,2,0,1,13,7,0,0,10,55,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064342102421423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138339048778877,0.0,0.2001683391900718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4041646796894522,0.0,0.0,0.18355091493551104,0.0,0.12412384826778106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566232490382954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21024761228220584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21442195046870746,0.0,0.1585840724831312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896311927571348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24929643676425334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219750678193206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028889227769862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23774794585865094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270144036449783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23207759331384936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012869903372266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295842764150696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lazydaisy6702,2019/02/04,I’m struggling I show a lot of signs of BPD as well as being diagnosed with depression and anxiety but I’m not taken seriously because I’m young. I tried to seek medical help but I was disregarded and it fucking kills. I don’t want to keep on living and I’m basically out of options. ,1.6081920903954838,3.8127976440677966,4.8450000000000015,77.8406073446328,81.03389830508475,8.679096045197742,28.477401129943495,9.2995712137729,2.9889638418079083,227,11,45,7,6,83,42,59,0.226,0.636,0.139,-0.7556,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,14,11,7,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,0,4,1,10,8,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,2,1,27,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133188476504703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998386253602382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512007611950965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24017237684037165,0.28302603230729034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577915593271507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18690671712152787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478539498128465,0.30850528565312696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462289210666921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23706758797486505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809111968818473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915136914506771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932027860149425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447246199468898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25071888738464515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PumpkinFloss,2019/02/04,I don't know how to handle life What the hell is even going on man. All of my options in life feel completely underwhelming. Suffering through years of school? Suffering to balance my not so great paycheck if I graduate? Dropping out and working two minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life? Watch how my friends who I barely see anymore eventually pop out babies and being part of that lifestyle i've always dreaded? I can't even concentrate long enough to find some sort of hobby. What do I do with the hobby after? That question made no sense. I literally do not know what to aspire to. I'm so greatfull to have good health. So so greatfull. But I feel like i'm misusing it by being a complete asshole and not seing the light of any situation. Why don't I like anything? I just don't even like watching movies or videogames at this point. What the hell is wrong with me,2.7423942208462293,5.155410532163742,3.7902511179910574,85.80424148606812,78.18128654970761,6.596628826969385,27.017887856897143,7.724431198458867,1.707829446164431,695,29,133,11,17,224,106,171,0.163,0.764,0.073,-0.9615,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,10,12,2,1,6,0,12,4,0,3,1,27,21,12,0,1,7,0,2,3,1,0,4,0,0,1,9,7,0,0,6,0,1,1,8,6,0,1,1,6,14,6,23,18,5,11,2,2,3,0,4,6,2,6,6,90,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328890362540931,0.0,0.0,0.1086062516184964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838645137107646,0.0,0.0,0.13142527127216766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348995482475328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502004621243088,0.0,0.3164549456025196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150533807068854,0.11409472850273245,0.0,0.0,0.14596932486724656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338924910786987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076518111199927,0.1339546728932723,0.0,0.1760775556860002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976109626049565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584845762413626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17554160529882407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384173784314249,0.2340743516615426,0.0,0.0,0.1413356888759641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111864586992815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294714160394697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097475776070102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17890841542657926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163203272116702,0.12726581927977096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795173843078559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601055425857416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411074661148013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626861419384063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746145574433884,0.0,0.10284608603517227
mentalhealth,i-am-a-monkey,2019/02/04,"Im wondering if im a compulsive liar or have another personality disorder...? I've never been diagnosed with anything but I think I must have something wrong with me. I've been self harming for a while now and have been dealing with weeks/months of depression at a time but they come and go. Anyway, I keep lying for absolutely no reason and I've been doing it ever since I remember, for example today I snap chatted my friend and told her a story about an encounter I had with my Geo teacher but this encounter never happened and I had just made it up... I actually managed to tell her that I made it up as I'm very honest with this one friend but that's not the only time this has happened... It tends to happen at least 5 times a week",3.1757829977628624,4.7832625906040285,4.933036912751677,81.81060682326623,74.1006711409396,7.919686800894855,27.181767337807607,8.59863814320734,2.020798210290827,582,22,115,11,12,198,92,149,0.156,0.757,0.087,-0.8909999999999999,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,5,7,1,0,7,0,12,1,0,3,4,30,25,13,0,2,8,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,9,11,0,1,4,1,0,2,4,4,0,1,9,0,15,3,17,15,1,16,0,1,0,0,11,4,0,3,10,82,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.14312395696755634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537911195941476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069286043776495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633897590439302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120525276805796,0.12632241459215526,0.14886196432680038,0.0,0.0,0.1680908829552418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266695749694896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22662614697985445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335314228777932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890863256086896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31684689872253513,0.0,0.0,0.13036265793118754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27755608124638936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170666639739784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22623429563564035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938405086068304,0.11154539887660347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128062286765013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079612461732528,0.0,0.0,0.16614293986011985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300366017997466,0.0,0.0,0.1213228660241281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290994050434358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819174048594714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939770582851996,0.0,0.0,0.25656475486813024,0.0,0.13902134244872488,0.14014476480563018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101404727230206,0.0,0.0,0.11764587684132374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905201803432192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035523615753822,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chvorka,2019/02/04,"Am I suicidal? I’ve always been telling my therapist that I’m not suicidal... However, it may just be because as far as I remember, I’ve always wanted to die. Perhaps not „actively” as in: actually cutting myself or hanging myself, but it’s exhausting to function in any way and it’s especially hard to have to force myself to move from the path of a moving car etc. A lot of my mental power is just used to avoid „passive suicide” like that or just literally trying not to lie down on the floor and not move again. Basically, I don’t necessarily want to actively kill myself, more like stop existing. Can I be considered suicidal or just depressed?",5.805725806451613,6.615851830645165,7.679193548387103,67.61379032258068,66.98387096774194,11.361290322580645,35.66129032258064,11.20814326018867,4.4812774193548375,513,25,89,16,8,181,80,124,0.278,0.649,0.073,-0.9869,2,1,0,0,0,4,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,2,1,4,0,9,1,0,1,0,22,13,9,6,2,12,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,0,0,5,5,5,0,0,1,1,10,2,18,9,3,14,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,5,4,64,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.1394488343278684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23780687131309586,0.0,0.0,0.09717623677040542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710991889943888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307872027567605,0.0,0.1483066264229182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593701857949483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800945758355298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809659818500044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396264903721087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148764037997806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400860632974102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4556371441520766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187673808201605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194699829465037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6252333567295668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490004580629473,0.0,0.0,0.16591678120496628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701905739140584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234188760178352,0.0,0.0,0.1685710938885403,0.11342659412234975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SexedNorfolk,2019/02/04,"Am I better or am I playing myself? I've always been a pretty depression-prone person, even as a kid. Since puberty, I have had issues with anger, ruminating on things, and connecting with other people. But last January, during my freshman year of college, was the first time I went in to a fully fledged depression. For two months, I was crying pretty much every night and often during the day, I wasn't taking care of myself hygiene-wise, and was generally a zombified nightmare to be around. However, after finding a new passion and making a lot of very good friends over the rest of the semester and the summer, I pulled myself out of the hole. I basically threw myself into my schoolwork and professional development. Since then, I have been the most academically and professionally successful I have ever been. I was pretty sure that I was happy. I have been reflecting on and thinking of that depression last year as something that was over and that I had learned from. The problem is that I realized I'm still living in fear of its return. If I have even a day where I am not doing a lot of work I feel that spiral of depression thinking slink back into my brain. This weekend, I did only an hour or two of work and spent the rest of the day out with friends or ""relaxing"" but I couldn't stop my mind from going to those places that made me catatonic this time last year. So did I get better or did I just become a workaholic to avoid spending time with my own thoughts? ",7.54489361702128,7.06223207092199,7.851929078014183,72.25300000000003,63.39716312056738,10.640567375886524,33.693617021276594,10.047579312681364,3.2745302127659577,1172,42,210,22,15,385,150,282,0.075,0.812,0.114,0.8241,1,1,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,6,10,19,1,2,20,0,28,2,1,2,2,50,42,21,0,3,9,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,13,19,0,2,8,3,2,4,3,7,0,3,21,1,32,12,36,19,7,43,0,3,0,1,4,13,0,9,26,167,45,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034764501801908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665963417940623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349167525588566,0.0,0.0,0.11991859277675238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206119505809585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212117085730253,0.0,0.0,0.11070502050057383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927054217523213,0.2100762517183381,0.0,0.2805605860084284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434327460735741,0.0982172468743873,0.09148372473710227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218321020775284,0.05490154554445531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924057784127163,0.09235848799759354,0.0,0.0,0.1677779957124851,0.0,0.05672881143034805,0.0,0.061708780455171225,0.09107214241455876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155859239591357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692988608291706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332979529219132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26552271286857765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958785398158826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18462245681161812,0.0,0.10274146127867244,0.07247830347914996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963531676396568,0.0,0.08666789118577327,0.0,0.07981913514893686,0.0,0.0,0.10486768963311352,0.0,0.1018954108905192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825803363992675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527602282407055,0.09480827382950367,0.1134434756736286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313961046341541,0.0,0.10389684082196766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963776525249775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835905466614966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671249954890865,0.0907781305894091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233580319561787,0.0,0.08163899661866919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721360361755424,0.1391479552749735,0.0,0.08620076059551837,0.18994242683774015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21213467374790929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959025503005004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065517880741504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809574330626655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097667783856517
mentalhealth,gictyypamfd,2019/02/04,"I need help... I'm unstable and I don't know what to do since I'm really young. I have 15, multiple times i was visiting psychiatric, and been diagnosed with anxiety and depression at some point. About a year ago i ended going because i didn't want to know the truth, and i was guessing it will go by some magic. I was tested for schizophrenia (or related), and never came for results. And as far as i can remember, i have anger issues, and slowly I'm starting loosing my mind. I always think about killing but never did something, i had my times when i was really angry and catch myself thinking how to kill my dogs or family, but i would simply isolate myself from them until this kind of stuff end. But now i'm tired, i really can't keep myself under the control.... and I don't know what to do, I'm too afraid going back to psychiatric and back to pills, nothing works, and pills didn't change anything
It's like i have two different character but i know each of them. One is afraid and sad/depressed, normal me, and other is just mad, always thinking about how to hurt someone, going into details of plan of murder and thinking about that even for 2-3 straight hours... Also hearing voices, seeing staff, having delusions... 
I just don't know what to do anymore",5.719608636977058,6.017021878542511,6.40608906882591,78.46303373819165,67.05668016194332,9.177759784075574,30.231848852901482,9.029198982220553,2.481060674763832,992,34,184,16,15,326,140,247,0.179,0.792,0.029,-0.9901,1,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,2,3,15,12,5,2,3,0,25,4,0,4,3,52,51,27,3,4,8,0,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,9,18,0,2,10,0,0,7,8,9,0,2,10,3,28,3,28,39,3,29,0,2,1,0,5,6,0,5,17,131,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010962159006546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120373406555976,0.1897932905003474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724601531283296,0.0,0.11310446152574895,0.0,0.0,0.09385136423877556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753909553817434,0.0,0.06952228946057562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304399424104876,0.0,0.0,0.12064711897760927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279139542071799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964578666941656,0.11575579851749575,0.0,0.11915535003485675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020244446025511,0.0,0.0,0.07532728948655801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751382067802408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592632601107562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563616464199973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285398064493296,0.0,0.07644362644774585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231380147460708,0.0,0.12209019350712587,0.0,0.0,0.11903594585086273,0.0,0.1013706465176007,0.2523532934162959,0.11876290750082524,0.3133875809896889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571784133572729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515545047981582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456476644204455,0.17592090539565722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174232258266124,0.10943163955330397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728152869208511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078117385211067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21918522137286287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291935704229452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088108127726116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434125969360006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966320655478914,0.08779932726771209,0.0,0.0,0.08072339822334218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055708687238135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29230809826603976,0.0,0.0,0.13300401350792032,0.13108080912251754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114078229482448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672681626390566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302792875843708,0.0,0.0,0.08101606250782079,0.0,0.0,0.0734428423665235
mentalhealth,whymepleaseno,2019/02/04,"I think I'm a psychopath Every time I see someone I know and love, like my Mom, I always seem happy. But deep down, I have a strong urge to kill them. I don't WANT to hurt people, it's an impulse. It's gotten to the point where I consider suicide, so I can finally stop myself, and anything I might do. These people deserve life more than someone who only wants to take it.
It's my first time posting, I don't want to tell friends or family, and this was my only remainig option, really. If anyone knows what this is, or how I can help it, please let ne know. ",3.2330128205128186,3.8360980598290624,4.737681623931625,87.14447115384618,72.67521367521368,7.217521367521367,24.881410256410252,7.1686216300943375,0.9628641025641028,431,12,93,4,8,145,79,117,0.118,0.684,0.198,0.8728,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,1,2,3,7,1,0,4,0,10,2,0,1,0,19,23,9,2,4,4,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,16,5,7,19,1,10,0,1,1,1,7,4,0,6,6,59,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521734202314648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362741225982145,0.0,0.13372793088900245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691763736465976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531954372518665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801650025287047,0.0,0.13822683765382654,0.0,0.0,0.12555111218277173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298980410531714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892380816650182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396517452860072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978792346442962,0.0,0.2679258193760756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661725741184029,0.11478222657496605,0.07939183085790545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666728502663054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239233366018158,0.0,0.19032412282177427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24718505034767035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22532128473995056,0.0,0.0,0.17838190704213047,0.1536199375993414,0.0,0.15563505825475904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410499045798892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949560248525546,0.14793862818901032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275380252339709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586162129275073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17775430998769062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221836842123716,0.0,0.1420367049887374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041267686417562,0.0,0.0,0.18951617454483974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875493268762515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,j2gh,2019/02/04,"Can't function anymore. PTSS, depression, what gives? I've had my ups and downs but now I'm at a complete standstill. Everytime I get passed a ""big problem"" in my head, something new or old fills the void. My therapist told me these are ""displaced emotions."" I described it as my mind latches onto whatever negative thing I can think of first and fixates to justify my sadness or anger or whatever negative emotions I feel. That being said, I'm pretty much spent at this point. I'm miserable. I can't get over events from my past and I can't stop feeling so shitty. My spouse is so extraordinarily supportive but I can't do it anymore. I waste every ounce of goodwill given to me and I am so obsessed with past events it's insane. My spouse has no one here but me and yet I can't stop being such a downer and nutjob it's destroying her life. She might not see it, but god damn I am a mess. I feel sick to my stomach and want to no longer exist more than anything.

Just over a year ago, I was relatively successful career wise and excited about my next move. I was happy, confident, and sure of myself. I knew I was ""somebody"" and that despite it all, my flaws or problems or things that didn't work out, my mantra of ""life goes on"" was true. Now, it's a curse. I can't stop stressing and worrying 24/7. I am so afraid of upsetting my loved ones. My best friend of like 12 years told me they are no longer my friend. I just cried for like a half hour about a dog we surrendered, regretted it, and were unable to get her back because my wife made a passing comment about it like a week ago. Yet, days prior I had seen pictures from that era and didn't really think twice. I'm completely fragile now. I don't even know what will set me off. I'm so completely scared of myself and my future. I feel like I never engage my wife or make her happy, and when I spend time playing Xbox with friends or myself I feel like dogshit. 

I am convinced I need to be admitted to a state hospital at this point. I can't take care of myself, let alone those who depend on me. I am not a contributing member to society but I can't seem to find any traction to get admitted somewhere. On top of that, my spouse would end up screwed over financially and I would just ruin more lives in the process. 

I'm so lost. I don't understand these feelings or why my mind thinks how it does. I'm so full of regret and shame and guilt and pain. I tested high for depression and anxiety, and have been told I have PTSD. I was prescribed cymbalta but I'm afraid to take meds and the doc said they didn't care if I took it or not, said it was my call.

I hope I made some sense. I'm just looking for someone, anyone to tell me if this is common or if I'm just being dramatic here ",2.3674228944246782,4.072099115658364,3.694755338078295,89.42684237841044,76.52669039145907,7.103262158956111,24.6976571767497,7.9370924344782425,1.2498397390272828,2141,73,462,34,48,701,271,562,0.218,0.618,0.16399999999999998,-0.9913,1,1,1,0,0,0,66.0,1,0,2,6,27,48,4,9,15,0,46,8,2,5,4,94,101,51,0,12,27,5,7,5,3,4,4,3,0,0,28,26,0,3,16,2,2,5,22,24,0,5,27,13,77,24,51,65,7,62,0,8,3,2,29,23,2,18,37,303,105,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704444959815373,0.0,0.0,0.08006000024149787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052566987367294565,0.0,0.059134667117158965,0.0,0.15332263961416434,0.054050303450979234,0.0,0.06361172098062456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05943930920323825,0.0,0.04712166429300752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112210047238687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893244813905274,0.0,0.15762601298194867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431442950063454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491096403879779,0.0498524243839243,0.0,0.1331576061995563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06764618411956004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390530509303245,0.06846529459405326,0.0,0.0,0.05105624792895582,0.0,0.06512900100575274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345127174428689,0.1104469781895429,0.0,0.0,0.07065125204083805,0.06575176158350636,0.0,0.0,0.17916651212393134,0.0,0.16154527277151282,0.07415367853016383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16457562871251005,0.0,0.0,0.07933260909409329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167221709082988,0.0,0.07677683336947011,0.07612541660554957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04248233048587394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904499343690438,0.10919925137377616,0.1888255863640729,0.0,0.06825775332217321,0.0,0.06491294719800908,0.0,0.08438262171662007,0.0,0.06976671477736161,0.1462871948902485,0.051598680680678286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586342382909444,0.0,0.0,0.08200360953084965,0.1561029281723256,0.0,0.0,0.08215819284194485,0.056824758155972786,0.05731733759369809,0.05961890719146248,0.07465729978980687,0.08220995341935675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111386619105719,0.0,0.1047616319696705,0.0,0.08225317680200807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758413847884988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614790706275554,0.0,0.0,0.07864239347506921,0.0,0.14793226816756733,0.0903601420651421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049520676508491325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22059141722620998,0.0,0.07739128070537715,0.0,0.06159848641004715,0.07037146747171871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549645858929593,0.05950969763455737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388002539626092,0.08854745588570681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771968570768655,0.07285480175195394,0.0,0.11624070419444897,0.0,0.06756403981342007,0.0,0.0,0.08975183266491553,0.10271002817449842,0.1485931078740297,0.0,0.0,0.04507454028608286,0.0,0.0,0.22159180692319225,0.0858836942323578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047254147456301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045593834755435735,0.0,0.0620057944190505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697516734416687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627568102626209,0.07850240495824429,0.0,0.1098241076194626,0.0,0.0,0.09955796880602144
mentalhealth,goblin_owner,2019/02/04,"I am so tired of being told what to do. I have depression and anxiety.  I have had them for many years. I am in a low point right now but it definitely getting better. 

I hate that my therapist and iop group lecture me about attendance. I do not want to go to either one anymore. I do not feel better after and I want to forget that I have to do all of this for my mental health. I just want to exist like a normal person does. 
",0.2353333333333332,2.340510755555556,2.8666666666666667,90.54000000000002,85.8888888888889,5.822222222222222,17.88888888888889,7.1686216300943375,0.24168888888888865,328,8,72,5,10,114,59,90,0.191,0.662,0.14800000000000002,0.1912,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,2,4,6,1,0,2,0,11,2,0,0,1,15,19,5,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,2,1,14,3,13,16,2,9,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,57,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16172183437104248,0.0,0.2096538269158367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37393550867703096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820801011053678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849991809769085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689112578993977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104487398010512,0.0,0.12014454144349035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20871555731532365,0.0,0.22471027783213574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328026415532038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21432829209014714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21304333959462213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20712892525981827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432513626928245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18458793870621765,0.0,0.0,0.1998430765903412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053602231189927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454538382363069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429753247311448,0.0,0.2020035242960104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740708598925909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613585842688306
mentalhealth,borski88,2019/02/04,"[USA] My brother seems to have lost it and I'm not sure how to help A little background on my brother:

Has a long criminal record, he has alienated himself from most of my family. and has a long drug history including but not limited to: Marijuana, Mushrooms, Meth, and likely others.

He contacted me in 2017 saying he was involved in some FBI case as his girlfriend was a potential witness. In the end the case apparently went no where.

In the past few months he has started messaging me that he and his girlfriend continued the investigation on their own and are now worried people are trying to kill them. I couldn't get them to contact the police. 

I found out my city had an FBI branch so I reached out to them with the info my brother sent me, and I also contacted the local police to check in on him (we live over 1,000 miles away from each other)

The local police stated that he sounded like he had some mental issues going on but he was not a danger to him self or others at the time.

Since then, he has sent me tons of photos of various mug shots 
claiming there to be some criminals comprise involving cross-dressing pedophiles that are wears masks of other people to disguise themselves, he's mentioned the FBI, CIA, and DHS are all involved and has mentioned the group was in charge of the OKC bombing as well as other horrific acts over the years and now they are after him.

He won't listen to me, and thinks that I am crazy for not believing him.

I am the only member of the family he has reached out to about all of this as he is not on speaking terms with most of the family.",6.76908454700208,6.365976700964633,7.100975978815963,76.73592396444108,64.94855305466237,10.01861168904861,32.76357102326461,9.478462496947786,2.875126952903348,1258,45,237,21,17,410,166,311,0.104,0.8420000000000001,0.055,-0.9597,1,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,5,2,9,7,2,0,22,0,25,2,1,1,3,40,37,21,1,1,8,3,0,2,2,1,1,4,0,1,11,17,0,1,4,0,1,5,8,3,1,0,11,4,29,4,49,23,13,43,0,1,0,0,48,23,0,7,16,176,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878851498045102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130812048132944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144381576306792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18676235739065344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263905133209887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554598157695149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657874579872607,0.0,0.0,0.08413994488718364,0.0,0.09152621490983293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079458119866958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809029643902548,0.0,0.0,0.1781736583622153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573579879610309,0.16141050929510234,0.1422066645249033,0.28504147683082465,0.0,0.0,0.17580085183215574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622965991677385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854546753218749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122482822717529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373673354585055,0.22329818841772314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807032959294393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661032893423734,0.16800621427413842,0.0,0.0,0.13321900535991238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398926467075028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178405159143893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319184372808153,0.0,0.0,0.09390728110875278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933973649485236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447997926235003,0.14929135626019505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163550140796514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370841392885093
mentalhealth,Yunnaii,2019/02/04,"What is happening to me? It's been three nights in a row when I would fall asleep, and start having weird ""dreams"" that leave me in a sleeping-awake state. They are like commands of my mind, such as go outside for a run, eat this, talk to this person, and I would have super vivid dreams about daily things I do. But then I wake up in the middle of the night crying and confused, feeling needy and kinda scared of falling asleep again. I wanna know what are those dreams-commands, they repeat themselves after they end. ",7.739699999999999,6.650825570000002,6.370000000000001,85.01500000000003,63.3,8.4,29.0,5.6839178017228535,1.1810999999999998,407,9,81,1,5,120,74,100,0.142,0.755,0.103,-0.2601,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,1,4,5,0,2,5,0,9,4,3,0,0,13,14,8,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,4,1,0,2,2,0,4,0,3,0,1,1,2,11,2,14,11,0,19,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,2,10,57,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27483291305415863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25601702667254844,0.0,0.0,0.22160290569539515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650861996577364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219440596318586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22125100274089213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750335746308806,0.0,0.0,0.2649256368993648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223506480478898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25263064064542545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4695914362617398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21846495876506344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25049381268987003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709282299072074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011012544511954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662217392218868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35546975307969514,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phdiesel_,2019/02/04,"How do I help? Or do I? I started seeing this girl a little over a month ago. Things have been sublime. Truly. Early indications are really good. 

She deals with some anxiety issues that I am unfamiliar with at best. Yesterday she had a bit of a moment that I wanted to help with, but I couldn’t. Whether it was because I didn’t know how or maybe she didn’t want to open up? 

She told me to just let her work it out in her head and seemed otherwise fine today. 

I just feel helpless. Coupled with the fact I am a giver at heart, I wanted to do something. 

Is this something that I need to just step back and let happen? Or is there a way I can support and help without being intrusive? ",1.3670714285714285,3.457904992857145,3.228571428571428,89.72642857142858,81.21428571428572,6.0,21.42857142857143,7.1686216300943375,0.6307857142857141,529,16,112,7,14,177,89,140,0.039,0.78,0.182,0.9502,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,7,0,19,2,2,2,1,30,31,10,0,5,9,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,2,19,5,17,21,3,18,0,1,1,0,13,8,0,5,8,87,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487498015589584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502708063325066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567117846143416,0.0,0.09962826220806274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17151461048736946,0.0,0.1784283381717196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083736162253225,0.0,0.0,0.16849397568690955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263748339915389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708125303712054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144524745199127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677311295995317,0.0,0.0,0.19367087925860446,0.3286404569943013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058334121950414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981942434245234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342460607247742,0.0,0.0,0.1638044822741347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419210025027497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045199999524112,0.0,0.0,0.12118474218875132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470043912775684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023627768153007,0.1487847918452856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516399982391117,0.0,0.0,0.11567990563776827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18546373477286326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857873731642488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549169639658533,0.1561688377984436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891940209819603,0.1297268394157782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754519653443474,0.0,0.11898239141892372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GingerPantsaloon,2019/02/04,"Scared of life My boyfriend has been out of the state working for the past few weeks and I cant get the whole ""he's totally cheating on you"" voice out of my head. He's never cheated on me but I've been cheated on before. My anxiety is through the roof and all the usual stuff I do to deal with it isn't helping. 
Please help me.",-0.00996478873239326,2.0660074929577483,1.6656161971831018,98.92828345070423,86.74647887323944,4.676760563380283,21.551056338028168,5.985473137389443,-0.011381690140844558,256,9,61,2,8,83,51,71,0.187,0.742,0.07200000000000001,-0.772,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,1,5,0,7,2,1,0,3,9,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,8,0,12,6,4,10,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,42,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199858729921498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223080619034069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693415843163639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649452434123913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26812215689810603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502263349829502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845315510502684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014953267088892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493966729744441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867786326160041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615610068139996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990735275531468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877345656784125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095623417616072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916809581131052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901961519981655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cursedheaux,2019/02/04,"Need Advice So I am (hopefully) getting Anti depressants soon. Thats going to haopen at an instutinal ambulance. I already had two chats with a therapist( - I dont know her position?) and now i am going to see one of the doctors who are working there. So far so good but i am being a bit anxious for several reasons. The doctor doesn't know me and there is a chance that I have to explain what is wrong or at least going on.

When i visited first I had some ""Material"" e.g extreme overreacting, trouble sleeping, trouble eating etc.

But now I am feeling ""better"" - i dont have trouble sleeping anymore, eating is still a problem  (NOT! ED related - im having this trouble for several years now and I learned to live with it. My health is also pretty good - not malnourished or anything else)  and I am feeling pretty neutral maybe even a bit empty? Which is kind of cool for me because i resigned a long time ago but i acknowledge that that is neither good nor healthy.

Since I am having problems with taking me and my depression serious the lack of ""material"" makes me really afraid to go there again. I know i have some serious problematic views, behavioral patterns etc. which I am fully aware of but would rather be treated by Talk Therapy instead of medications.

Has anyone an Idea what I can (or should) say to the doctor? Not getting medication would confirm my views that I am being overdramatic and I would cancel these appointments before I am starting to invent problems.

I am currently not in Therapy at all.
",4.151802120141343,6.455378498233216,5.544941342756187,75.47028833922262,73.20494699646643,8.485597173144876,32.52141342756184,9.174902378510234,3.3710608904593635,1197,60,200,28,25,401,158,283,0.18600000000000005,0.7070000000000001,0.107,-0.9701,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,3,17,22,0,1,12,1,36,10,2,2,1,45,54,19,0,11,12,0,2,0,0,4,6,1,0,0,13,9,2,0,10,1,0,5,9,14,0,3,2,7,31,8,24,45,10,25,0,3,3,0,7,6,0,6,14,162,44,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133930819880567,0.08285688146669397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314816996031556,0.0747491576758516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559623586689397,0.09269865225422894,0.06535747488363748,0.0,0.07691911406319409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05697938390482135,0.0,0.07953739700214214,0.0,0.0,0.08266798225027279,0.20409342800647431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610138028299103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870162492420359,0.0,0.0,0.219095900142566,0.0,0.0,0.1912894435552178,0.07808347861265645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084909529045965,0.06173707136900529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945240394075172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950684514003556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976700446955884,0.0,0.21248812351963092,0.23519848193208576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099355877300892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928383309289164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055179925470725,0.1009653042235052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733622630451097,0.1541085435485334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253708330080864,0.08271937252719727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062392979526466726,0.0,0.09390472649980842,0.0,0.0,0.18832548797861948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930796337849651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333873533602304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901883219211733,0.0,0.26831892377838645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05988026272710632,0.09610431195065368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433232118403081,0.0,0.0,0.07448471648389612,0.0,0.0,0.211192471733788,0.0,0.0773206247356742,0.0,0.18707809032961012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615963791120386,0.0,0.07464649349305197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027896625719493,0.07512888412579599,0.0,0.0,0.2137857068284304,0.10852766357690777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545040073144269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130811374340847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804839518744428,0.0,0.0,0.19919850297973352,0.1021964568234946,0.0,0.060192607906511424
mentalhealth,AltNewAccount,2019/02/04,"I desperately need help Hello, I do not live at home but my younger brother does. Me and my mother are very close and today she called me and she is very afraid and upset over my brothers mental health. 

My brother is 20 and has a long history of drug abuse, he has used Crystal Meth and Crack. He's always been a bit paranoid, but in the past week my mom has told me it's gotten out of hand. He has started writing messages on his ipod and showing her and they usually say something like ""I need to talk but their listening."" He also accused her and my older brother who also doesnt live at home of trying to set him up yesterday. He says that there is something evil inside of him and when he's using he is very violent. 

My mother is scared for her safety and her dogs. Her dog is like her fourth child, and she is absolutely scared that he might hurt the dog if they're alone if he keeps getting worse. 

I love my brother more than anything, so does the rest of my family and that's why this is very hard for me and her. He used to be the most calm, cool and collected person I knew. I'm horrified that he'll hurt my mom or her dog. I'm fucking shaking.

She doesnt know what to do and I dont know what to do. We cant call the cops cause he hasn't done anything. We live in Saskatchewan, Canada. I'm fucking scared because he is a tough guy, he took boxing and is a very athletic guy. He could seriously hurt them if he wanted. 

I just need help cause I dont know what to do or who to call. Is there any way we could have him involuntarily committed. I tried googling it but I'll cant find anything and I'm fucking filled with anxiety. This is Saskatchewan, Canada keep in mind. We're willing to do anything to get him help sooner rather than later because we dont want anyone to get hurt.",2.3337903225806467,3.9094789919354866,3.5862365591397882,90.72435483870967,76.28494623655914,6.412903225806452,23.82795698924731,7.1029339738359605,0.738308602150537,1403,44,308,15,31,457,175,372,0.192,0.7170000000000001,0.091,-0.9925,0,1,4,0,1,0,34.0,4,0,3,0,8,22,5,6,9,1,38,7,1,5,1,61,69,31,0,11,12,9,2,2,0,3,2,3,2,4,13,25,0,2,5,2,0,3,9,17,0,0,6,6,47,5,29,57,4,25,0,4,0,4,70,10,3,7,12,175,60,0,0.0,0.08855375252872469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740729024396642,0.0,0.1195378521362847,0.06218901706365736,0.0,0.0,0.050825231527815415,0.0,0.05717529761691916,0.0,0.0,0.05225939938026325,0.0,0.2460160346746104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112066784174017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815958693635789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289512954410217,0.0,0.0,0.15355553062258254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934636884572113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308095876153999,0.07648416947427694,0.2627814225193194,0.0,0.08667376538108486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045748362440027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831029173529836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072856096402275,0.11714447082730167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800715368610026,0.0,0.0,0.06695165953797824,0.0,0.0,0.0794442943502344,0.0,0.0,0.15028836826741293,0.0,0.14993906012867084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32003951698412564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286330300544544,0.0,0.0,0.12322415973922145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302761391496831,0.0,0.1979882977843845,0.06614185650654361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745506275104918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531955344185713,0.07928649993579626,0.0754653049745118,0.17506733891815213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625455060242653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134704102034567,0.0,0.06525940280771003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887125279960245,0.22448098837782346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507580372804355,0.0,0.0,0.05290080356701171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007255279543292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084404015350251,0.07141652619888289,0.08303802181632125,0.10148604676221278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19365206423859696,0.0823146901503881,0.30833841312023136,0.0881662550488003,0.059324512856991564,0.05995129291687541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674405197953394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616564884773648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rosepetalmemories,2019/02/04,Lithium and feeling like I am in a dream I'm taking an OTC lithium to help balance out some stuff. Since taking it I've been having strange dreams and sometime feel like I'm still dreaming even while I'm awake. Nothing feels quite real. I looked up the side effects and I can't see that as one of them. Has anyone else had any weird side effects similar? ,4.282916666666669,5.25560479166667,4.448222222222224,88.819,70.52777777777777,6.315555555555558,29.677777777777766,5.6839178017228535,1.1942077777777778,283,11,57,1,5,88,57,72,0.048,0.76,0.192,0.8555,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,3,2,3,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,2,0,11,16,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,5,4,2,6,14,1,7,0,0,2,0,2,5,0,1,4,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243972663183314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567412152586319,0.2296832915471999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18726089634214474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480587126432786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400333206171249,0.3202867047503862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025291629080367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903116163239475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882419446370567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21509213706138647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189984569000795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384268197731924,0.0,0.2551485776365273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17863029440268927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543140944786315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22170468372801336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790182703007964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566150241239052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370880101437617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Myocyth,2019/02/04,"Today **TRIGGER WARNING** 

Today, I saw shadows walking in my kitchen. I was so scared I grabbed a knife and walked into the room. No one was there. I was home alone. All doors and windows were locked. It was a hallucination. I paced the house for an hour with my knife before I calmed down and finally put it away. I told no one.

Today, I saw worms crawling on my ceiling again. Like most days now, I know they’re not real. I stare, trying to make my broken mind see through it. I could not. I’ve told no one.

Last night, I heard someone breaking into my house. I grabbed my gun and stood at the top of the stairs. I heard nothing, saw nothing. It took a minute or two to calm down enough to get back into bed. 10 minutes passes, I hear it again, grab my gun, run down stairs. Everything is locked. No one is there. This happens 3 more times over the course of one hour. I finally am able to fall asleep. But wait, Seconds before falling asleep, someone is standing right next to the bed. I yelp and punch. When the sleep fog clears no one is there. It was a hallucination. I told no one.

Today, my house was on fire. I could see the smoke, I could smell it. I ran around trying to find it. My boyfriend walked in. He asked what was wrong. I asked if he could smell a fire. He said no. I pretended to laugh it off, while starring at the smoke behind him. I barely got away with telling no one.

Today, I broke. I did drugs I didn’t recognize last night, in a manic impulsive fit. Coming down I hallucinated so intensely I started screaming. my significant other held me until it was over. He chalked it up to the drugs. “Don’t ever take a drug unless you know what it is.” He told me. I told my sister. I felt she didn’t believe me, she laughed it off and also chalked it up to drugs. I knew it wasn’t just the drugs, But exacerbation of a illness I’ve always had. But I told no one the truth.

Today, I scrubbed my bathroom wall for 30 minutes straight, because I couldn’t tell weather or not the yellow spots I was seeing were smoke stains, water damage stains or a hallucination. It was a hallucination. When I realized, I cried, while continuing to scrub, because I couldn’t stop. although I knew somewhere in my mind that they were not there, I didn’t at the same time. my OCD had taken over and they were real stains. I HAD to clean the them. My anxiety took over, it might be a leak, what if the house collapsed because we didn’t know there was water damage. After I got the willpower to force myself to stop, I cleaned myself up, went into the living room, and pretended I didn’t have a psychotic break, and an anxiety attack in the bathroom for 45+ minutes. I told no one. 

Today I believed that the government was watching me. I have a scar on the back of my neck(real). Aliens abducted me as a child, to implant a chip. Now the government can watch me through my own eyes. This has been a reoccurring belief since I was 9. Someone had told me god saw everything I did. So I pretended he could see through my eyes. The fantasy got more elaborate. Pretended turned into belief. The belief in god waned, the belief in government corruption grew. It over took me. And now I’m plagued. I vaguely told a therapist about it once. She told me I’m bipolar with psychotic tendencies. I’ve told no one how frequently it happens.

I had a breakdown today. I’m exhausted. I’m so tired of battling my own mind on a daily basis. Trying to pick out what is reality and what isn’t. Trying to control my mood swings. Trying to beat my insomnia. Keeping secrets...I cried, and sobbed. I considered self harm today. For the first time since my mom died. I’m not safe. I’m not ok. I can’t go on like this anymore. 



Today I called my psychologist for the first time in 2 years. Today I’m in the waiting room, waiting for my emergency session.

Today is the day. The day, that needed to be for years.

Today, It’s time to tell someone everything.

Today, I’m finally getting help.",1.091578947368422,3.5762045541401264,2.6945424069728467,90.46165269862554,86.2611464968153,5.5473013744552455,22.403285283271874,7.016949737187304,0.8049949044585989,3065,111,629,44,95,1002,310,785,0.14400000000000002,0.807,0.049,-0.9964,1,1,8,2,0,0,137.0,1,1,3,5,24,21,2,1,51,1,56,18,5,5,4,85,121,34,1,10,16,2,6,2,0,1,10,5,11,2,33,24,3,9,12,5,0,16,28,11,0,15,63,27,100,9,83,48,8,124,4,4,14,0,41,50,1,7,57,408,133,6,0.0401952636578649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04163017089228944,0.0,0.032144137825045785,0.0334456793387798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061498533357983866,0.0,0.03986290075906169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03578230654626822,0.07515429111671577,0.04572791518748984,0.07552954670746455,0.061815353294686536,0.0,0.0735079789406566,0.0,0.06840641770357217,0.09057259527024708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04104385829457325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03462466050937271,0.0,0.0,0.045082406064938026,0.16046323656216752,0.0,0.08830521940797985,0.07776785936438099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04171633766314956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330687234574789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041532452229832414,0.0,0.0,0.03635891720081223,0.0,0.0,0.10837473351037938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0385937565706334,0.13209583982467574,0.03673774278468917,0.06838014146723986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04200073252581448,0.0,0.02284389463697912,0.0,0.09644347276323008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108907781150631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530298344519432,0.0,0.026942037950072797,0.0,0.04031912677031325,0.0,0.0791684759674306,0.1855197501670934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0357273971999159,0.0,0.0,0.06627079712821249,0.06552900934307099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039274750964082894,0.0,0.03549315422126263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02683065061296235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0426408227361501,0.12175727373840775,0.04707620699452854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029804278689970362,0.0,0.0,0.04274811890546335,0.07544106408214242,0.0,0.07713687910395417,0.0,0.0,0.04280664396413368,0.2996108600778597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04040734198247155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725302971729048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034326535540627284,0.03823490036138938,0.0,0.04024247104196255,0.0,0.12812168414795666,0.0,0.0419324262564237,0.0,0.0,0.06649987492835895,0.0,0.04022429219656652,0.0,0.13622926583499267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02845041450092344,0.0,0.0,0.06721008048547858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03022183590843092,0.0,0.10539729634480577,0.0,0.0,0.04666979915645692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117190907403244,0.046198542612564064,0.5334057405437427,0.4224912665079875,0.13397525069832406,0.13644972768644054,0.04372090449923693,0.03926493199349141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037261412109955185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043947210851675016,0.0,0.05176886388435952
mentalhealth,thedame84,2019/02/04,"Mental health and being on time So I have a whole host of mental health issues that with medication and lots of therapy I've gotten much better. I feel fine but for some reason can't hold down a job. My bosses and I are all confused. As a worker I am an employers dream. I work hard, Triple rate, and get along with everyone. But I'm tardy. Nothing crazy just 3 or 5 days a month I'll be between 5 and 15 mins late. It has cost me every job I've ever had. Now if I had a solution to this I wouldn't have an issue. I've tried everything in the book. I'm at the point where I'm trying to find the core reason. Maybe I need my meds adjusted. Maybe they have the wrong diagnosis. It's not that i dont want to go to work i just either lose track of time or accidentally sleep in. I dont think it's a huge deal because I used to be so much worse but me getting better about it has come to a stand still. So has my diagnosis. At one point I was thought to be schizoeffective. Right now I'm under the category of having stressed induced psychosis, major depressive disorder, anxiety, and hints of borderline personality disorder ( my psych thinks I have it, my therapist is adamant that I dont, I think I show mild traits of it) also were now thinking ADHD is somewhere in this mix. 

What are your thoughts?
Do any of you guys have issues with timeliness and work?
What other mental things might factor into this issue?
And other than things habbit wise, what are things I can do to try an improve?

Losing jobs sets me back and can be really discouraging. Being able to work, have a good outlook on life, and doing extremely well considering my diagnosis has made it basically impossible for me to get help with things like SSI or disability. Working part time was perfect for me but I can't pay my Bills.  I take care of myself but I'm at this weird grey area where I'm well enough where my state went help, but I'm too sick to actually be independant or function like a healthy person. ",2.6614285714285733,4.5632387518797035,4.3527418546365935,84.1602406015038,76.26817042606515,7.5675187969924815,23.430075187969926,8.418075326091056,1.4155160902255646,1558,48,321,30,35,524,214,399,0.123,0.726,0.151,0.8812,4,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,2,1,11,19,19,0,2,17,0,41,6,1,7,3,60,68,26,0,4,15,0,2,2,0,2,5,0,0,3,23,17,0,2,12,3,3,3,7,8,2,1,10,3,37,11,42,49,11,38,0,4,1,0,9,19,0,9,15,211,60,14,0.07684961858133264,0.0,0.07499414204462614,0.0,0.09235830739054517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145661221448926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052260375921016886,0.0,0.05878974786806344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909261304518736,0.0,0.0468468141948092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13593448503435368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835330790226037,0.0,0.0,0.06619914167754871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956164637463869,0.07922858230192589,0.0661904638752526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17615264166584702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702015418936841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940619919246424,0.0,0.0,0.06951487973051139,0.06474911815164383,0.07343310387251653,0.06906748188888999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0388574762273982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023915913510978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045226157313133,0.0,0.04367540923992653,0.06445781396056413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609320467534114,0.0,0.0,0.06884216344544944,0.0,0.0,0.1633751018035597,0.0,0.0,0.1030213588292638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208441425647241,0.2287841650538865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668971709351614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054281158317223056,0.0750896836293304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195013164275635,0.0,0.06533479754948197,0.0,0.07271696724769819,0.0,0.0,0.15441154231148738,0.0,0.08536260173749077,0.07741790573076594,0.2323390209203694,0.08152530087027217,0.0,0.0,0.06134063236349153,0.0,0.11298662417544768,0.056983018420076886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373928167446342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052075290434472295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322064798292263,0.0,0.0,0.1342042454344952,0.0,0.0,0.14529545910255826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049231833510150425,0.15802841437502102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562915436927601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690511845679511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613722046697515,0.0,0.08803097843715861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057781349120124365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788423635842431,0.08922833035676189,0.2042218872370497,0.19696853014129456,0.0,0.12202002593576458,0.13443489180911064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156527539425823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637339611823427,0.0,0.0,0.045327896144230335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381940727455658,0.07124036634827761,0.0,0.08579985468795928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797371880087501,0.0,0.07831632678097047,0.0,0.08402299386345224,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Valuable_Salt,2019/02/04,"Something is wrong with my mind For the past year I have been more forgetful than ever. Just the few past days I forgot my stuff that I needed for work and today I missed class because I forgot when it started. I've always been a scatter brain but lately I'm always forgetting something. It's starting to become a problem for me and the people around me. 
And I'm only 21. Could this be a sign that something is wrong with me? ",2.456395348837209,4.556072720930231,3.5583139534883728,88.69816860465116,77.6046511627907,5.230232558139536,22.377906976744185,5.985473137389443,0.4090279069767444,338,10,65,2,8,109,56,86,0.159,0.841,0.0,-0.9011,0,0,3,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,6,0,7,1,1,0,1,18,15,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,10,0,8,9,2,11,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,46,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941577443184615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157354294908246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775154271083487,0.19521805325428415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732314423755407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112885325201746,0.0,0.0,0.113995880999479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598899660748052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939351084042772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17847768732929425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106564979104895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443430360262018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33747574155833354,0.12254345462340148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691358990702464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082365397690594,0.0,0.0,0.25022394282221233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20234845013711808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675482587916565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868372835851674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865196542211471,0.0,0.11382794823736588
mentalhealth,EvilFuzzball,2019/02/04,"The Ethics of CRISPR Hello everyone, I hope you are all having a great day. 

​

I wanted to host a discussion regarding the upcoming genetic technology known as CRISPR. 

If you do not know what CRISPR is, this [link](https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/primer/genomicresearch/genomeediting) will explain it quite thoroughly, but I will give a brief description here. CRISPR is a group of genetic technologies that allow geneticists to alter, add, omit, or switch genetic material in an organism. A sort of biological ""copy-paste"" if you will. It has been hypothesized that CRISPR may be able to alter genetic material for an organism in gestation, giving way to a possible trend of ""designer babies"". 

Aside from cosmetics it has been hypothesized that CRISPR could be used to prevent or curtail physical and mental ailments. Around a year ago, I found myself in a conversation with a woman speaking in a class of mine regarding the struggles and virtues of individuals afflicted with autism and down syndrome. I had asked her: ""If technologies such as CRISPR were refined and put into common use, would it not be ethical to prevent mental afflictions, including autism and down syndrome"". I was and continue to be in favor of preventing such diseases, she was not. She claimed that the practice was ""playing god"", and offered several more arguments she believed to be valid against my contention. 

So, after being reminded of the issue recently, I decided I would see how an impartial demographic feels about this issue. I am an agnostic when it comes to any claim, so I ask this subreddit: what are your thoughts on this? 

​

I look forward to your responses! Don't feel like you have to agree with me, be honest. Thank you for your time, and your participation. :)

​

Sincerely,

​

EvilFuzzball. ",8.114979066985647,10.31611097039474,7.693169856459331,64.51809808612441,62.651315789473685,12.106220095693779,38.81818181818182,11.741389052700956,5.580071052631579,1461,76,212,50,22,461,180,304,0.056,0.816,0.128,0.9674,0,0,0,0,0,0,77.0,0,9,0,1,9,9,0,1,19,0,32,0,0,4,1,50,50,20,0,8,9,0,2,1,0,6,0,1,0,1,15,15,0,4,8,1,0,4,4,1,0,0,9,5,28,8,40,27,2,24,1,0,2,0,25,11,0,10,11,160,43,2,0.09476836288796124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400643570435974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4107259263812088,0.4606157352923935,0.06444573650944874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436393502997966,0.17719125302323546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677149239940016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163455326365662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566482639416536,0.0,0.0,0.0611177540716835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055523194841757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583546349370944,0.06770253738277376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390861840980888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18182089813785174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448245464568824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412636753912904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782709852275285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05208221383642245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046299035172148166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958155680379357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910084400684639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904671256403357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683708994799823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526837989986757,0.0,0.1007978191997116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357232541137553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551811552039997,0.0,0.0,0.10706127532135544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990724693080864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724997601613216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752354944041835,0.055260194506956586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636988759490639,0.0,0.0,0.05589683579493634,0.07522271535626418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13464145191688756,0.0,0.4606157352923935,0.06102771859702055
mentalhealth,goblinqueenac,2019/02/04,"I need some advice about my friend with anxiety and depression please. My friend's mental illness stems from her struggle to have children. Slightly irrelevant but anyway. 

I asked her to be my maid of honour and she agreed happily. However, she has been bailing on me, and other people in my family. Not even a text or phone call sometimes, just a plain ghost. No apologies. 

I understand and I've told her with the most utmost sincerity that if this is too much to ask, she is welcome to step down and just be an honoured guest. She got rather offended and I felt like a jerk. 

Things were great for a while but she is doing it again and while I do love her and apreciate the severity of mental illness. I do have a schedule to keep. I can't keep waiting for her to show up for a dress fitting, just for her not to show and I miss my time slot. Or bail on a makeup trial. 

I just, don't understand how to help her and not be angry and hurt. It feels like she is doing it on purpose and just being lazy. I KNOW she isn't but, I just dont know what to do. 

Thanks for any advice.",1.0727424242424242,3.3416531227272763,2.7349999999999994,91.78083333333332,83.68181818181819,5.848484848484849,20.53030303030303,7.1686216300943375,0.5263939393939396,837,25,179,12,24,275,123,220,0.125,0.6659999999999999,0.21,0.9812,1,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,13,17,2,1,10,0,22,3,0,1,0,43,39,21,1,3,16,0,2,2,3,0,2,0,1,1,8,14,0,3,6,2,0,1,8,6,0,0,5,2,31,11,26,30,3,13,0,3,0,1,27,7,0,5,7,136,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960757227312194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302089079223396,0.0,0.1158922431781253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832522633110021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469197545751484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048127630550385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775494534099326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000601405098343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281474983527628,0.0,0.07659975161553954,0.10822710838358196,0.14545768093705475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340872678661295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211633274066054,0.1670223064047043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154301390079457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621771073997805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26930906988054826,0.0,0.0,0.16651391866933452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480243102057296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672895221846565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30533997608675184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136527880849853,0.11233063701146774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502663620390244,0.0,0.0,0.1662945573729937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114472656141572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983111368097168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583740770750426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947501786196706,0.0,0.0,0.10064566304607744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833717747370469,0.0,0.0,0.14475869415900855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31542050713685965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MansonsRib,2019/02/04,"I was doing so well until now I got a new job. Started a new mindset. Then I opened up to someone and thought “wow she’s great. Maybe dreams do come true.” Like an idiot I also work with her. So now I’m just avoiding contact with her and it seems she’s doing the same since she doesn’t even have lunch with me anymore nor talks to me. 

Why am I so weak that I gain interest in people so easily when they show me interest? ",0.6306666666666665,2.5385949555555563,2.4700000000000024,95.165,82.77777777777777,5.333333333333334,20.0,6.42735559955562,0.01400000000000068,326,9,75,3,9,108,66,90,0.08900000000000001,0.614,0.297,0.9682,1,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,2,11,10,1,1,4,0,7,2,0,0,1,13,13,11,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,1,2,2,0,1,2,3,1,0,3,0,15,7,8,10,1,12,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,9,52,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247890441425552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386988105464129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733225936353467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589728129162555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19250097873116806,0.26536046954987963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23884669118657856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758848655164753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24180444887932998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46491786740116997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668634453579008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21911422375946407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19910042601799527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039350065927644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036091131373787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345669912572724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19108017886460876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164083144200653,0.0,0.21718438354631608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17522445683771184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ACommonFellow,2019/02/04,"I think I subconsciously want to die I think I'm realizing that I subconsciously want to die or have accepted that I'll kill myself. I don't even want to kill myself, I just want it to send. Quickly, suddenly, painlessly, just lights out. I'm tired and just want to sleep now. I'm tired of fighting, I just want to be at peace. I'm not even religious but at this point I'd take the gamble and hope that there is some sort of afterlife. 

I've stopped planning ahead. In many ways, I've stopped caring. I haven't applied for any internships or any jobs. I haven't fixed up my resume. I don't care about spending money on pizza or fast food or whatever. It just doesn't matter anymore. I don't matter anymore. 

In these moments, I almost wish that I had the balls to do it. I think I accepted long ago, probably when I was a child or in my early teens, that my life will most definitely end on my own. I just wish it could happen before things get to bad. While my parents are still alive to comfort me, while I still have one or two friends, while I still have the comfort of a college apartment and comfort foods to eat. I'm just tired and done but I still walk like a zombie through life. ",2.670925925925925,4.267162378600824,3.7649609053497946,89.71015740740744,75.41975308641976,6.999917695473252,24.90720164609053,7.7348632917899725,1.128002633744856,930,31,202,13,20,301,125,243,0.136,0.6559999999999999,0.208,0.9485,2,0,0,0,2,4,29.0,0,0,0,2,18,14,3,0,6,0,18,10,1,0,0,45,40,16,4,10,16,1,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,1,12,5,4,2,6,1,3,2,7,4,0,2,3,1,28,10,26,34,3,34,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,11,21,128,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100749321488276,0.0,0.10280548378735553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963322878624154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20363479331397832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572208417765348,0.0,0.0,0.08736147185205792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20935029983347786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197069804158963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131028509238761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050632846491081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050532703395794,0.0,0.0,0.09093188161204002,0.0,0.0,0.13562026482930006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24828902987247606,0.0,0.07931973985698024,0.0,0.0536389118959543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078748279336307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019708154897266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188047540364556,0.0,0.2271701312827096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503250817686664,0.05015757535664876,0.0,0.0,0.0908564575536714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408752872094196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956935168564664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139987924398965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705285182569134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069165136302173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274045881855312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32795780530622354,0.17166727192030912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719229147396296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820693738126414,0.1973532864158591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35399947685109007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029007120316556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633315134743001,0.08149174167420349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361223897241917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emotionalthrowaway9,2019/02/04,"Better to feel pain than nothing at all Hi all. For intro, I'm an 18yo male. Still in high school.

So, I'm not in a happy place right now, and my mind seems dead a lot of the time, as if someone turned down how much power is running through my brain so now it's just... there.

I dont know what I'm feeling but it certainly isn't happy or sad. It's more like a blank feeling, and I cant really feel anything emotionally. I've ended up cutting my forearm a bunch of times to feel that relieving sensation after a cut, if you know what I mean. My first day cutting was Thursday, but already my forearm looks like it's been dragged through the streets. It's just, it has red marks all over it.

I want an escape. I want someone to not just tell me everything's going to be okay, but also to comfort me and hug me. I know this sounds stupid and it just makes me sound like a horny piece of pathetic shit, but I just need to get this out somewhere.

My only form of genuine, meaningful contact besdies my parents is my English teacher who I've emailed several times to ask for extensions on homework assignments, and she knows what I'm feeling. My other contact is my cousin, but she works and she cant talk often. I know it's because shes just busy, but it feels like I dont matter to anyone except my English teacher and my parents.

I posted earlier on another account, and someone commented that I may be depressed, but I dont feel like I deserve to be depressed. My life in terms of tangible things is pretty great, except for my social circle, but my parents are incredible and I have no fucking reason to feel depressed except that I feel left out, but even that is something that everyone endures, so it feels like I should just deal with it and suck it up.

Every time I cut myself, I feel like an idiot, but it just feels so relieving. What is wrong with me? Is it normal to want someone to comfort me, but whenever someone asks, I push them away because I either dont want them to know or dont want to burden them? Am I just making excuses for myself? I feel so empty.",4.836494505494507,5.075027052380952,5.769047619047622,82.47313186813187,68.95238095238095,8.366300366300367,31.868131868131872,8.139509932561175,2.247351648351648,1622,66,326,20,26,536,198,420,0.14400000000000002,0.6779999999999999,0.17800000000000002,0.9022,4,0,1,0,0,1,49.0,0,1,3,4,23,34,9,0,11,1,27,8,4,4,4,88,69,33,1,10,30,4,14,7,0,2,2,2,1,1,29,14,0,0,24,0,1,3,11,16,0,1,2,18,53,18,46,62,11,35,0,4,2,2,26,18,3,8,20,226,82,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427775585029882,0.053827418227570166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057992598535201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0470643983724247,0.0,0.055390019782273786,0.0,0.1258506755276538,0.0,0.06323953252828766,0.0,0.0,0.08206254687428909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059529822047109576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751397119985185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04340908766893675,0.06939318458132929,0.1739208355280981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944314228951441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571417767709362,0.059616277684405125,0.0,0.0,0.044457319173221516,0.0,0.05671119407706605,0.06431715402891411,0.060493478237674536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4764721920570928,0.1923438074776979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725346396364716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062226589058114574,0.03516645877759058,0.0,0.03825356515280779,0.0,0.0,0.07420901017175513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433045229642925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711162290625832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22194939137644573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731320167850757,0.0,0.047542721691535984,0.2301883037279816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056523064837666885,0.0,0.0,0.05722416751895831,0.0,0.0,0.08985928692331813,0.0,0.0,0.0733198261697199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796345190982668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049480259767550674,0.04990917419368695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594906220674429,0.06458532306725738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05119194149502008,0.07162210076985341,0.0,0.2242178500642794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032414764694082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446393732586632,0.06847800473180461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04312021761323497,0.0692054218894818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748198302613095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812085227759793,0.0,0.061276081125888525,0.0,0.07604062611531888,0.06909227992018165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861360388370917,0.28515579212477066,0.051818175619226914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05375348899443405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410086203708926,0.058831508472716176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471747033975238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569949461913466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321345573420207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19850456567764688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900214987509968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359242022055858,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ponaman,2019/02/04,"Happiness out of other people's anger? Had a question so I decided to ask on this Subreddit. 

There's this new new kid in my high school who always going around intentionally ruining conversations of others by calling the topics of their conversations ""stupid"" and ""retarded"" or making unpopular opinions in front of others to intentionally get some reactions. More often than not people just get mad at him and shout but he just seems to laugh at them because he finds their reactions ""funny"" and it's just getting on my nerves.

Is there any medical terminology for this kind of behavior?",6.672596153846152,8.891414144230774,7.520384615384617,64.29961538461541,66.21153846153847,10.96923076923077,32.230769230769226,10.9516,4.288407692307692,477,20,73,15,8,159,76,104,0.073,0.86,0.067,0.4606,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,0,8,7,3,0,2,0,2,1,0,3,0,21,9,6,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,1,7,3,19,8,2,13,0,1,0,0,13,9,0,6,2,53,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984276743084635,0.0,0.0,0.14698013772945567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192407185668322,0.20205832212028169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175472011425393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206993910025584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19754471914404684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387669851935266,0.0,0.12283527533702886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300811762909424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22835993306606706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22507276096825915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427269990029526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21773464592431085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4174916903243423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996834784828844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421221904677069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21874153722107725,0.0,0.196762426367472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jake_Shock,2019/02/04,Exhausted by nothing. I think I may be done. I'm just so tired of the day in day out.  People are shit.  Politics are shit.  Expectations for people to take care of each other are in the gutter.  I try to focus on me and my stuff to find meaning and invest in things that are worthwhile but jesus christ its' all just an abomination.,1.6247402597402605,3.9569345909090887,3.462900432900433,87.02863636363638,81.87878787878788,6.195670995670996,20.034632034632033,7.447530270364453,0.6734268398268402,257,7,52,4,7,86,49,66,0.127,0.8170000000000001,0.055,-0.6021,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,3,0,7,4,2,0,1,13,12,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,12,9,2,7,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,2,40,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448452643933788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30974912828203593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457531489413615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21948946317183413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615898359240662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23042695198374616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33297455937413484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4930136666200724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749101787260181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805602096591871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954260041530335,0.15387611937130866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27601296510733864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304364508927574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dildo_Myfavoriteword,2019/02/04,"Love one another. Don't give up on yourself. Never be afraid of having those difficult conversations. (venting) Right, I have a bit of unpacking to do, please bear with me. A few months back I posted here in a desperate attempt at gaining advice. My fiancee at the time was going through a very difficult period because she had been diagnosed with BPD and was immediately put on an inappropriate medication. We did what we could on dealing with the fuckery that is NHS mental health. All while this is happening I'm living in the US while she is in the UK. It took them 3 months for them to finally listen, 2 of those were spent in the hospital for her.

​

We spent 2 years together; lots of traveling between us, time spent on the phone, and incredible moments together. Not without our hardships either. Drug addiction, self-harm, loss in the family, insecurities, and issues that seemed insurmountable. We made it through. Being with her made me whole, it gave me hope and it showed me that I can do things without fear. I proposed to her in what couldn't have been a more perfect setting. But again, it wasn't without its rows and difficulties. We made it through.

​

The day after my birthday she was admitted into a psych ward. We still spoke on the phone every day but I can see the changes being made in her. Her grandmother passed away during that time, who she was incredibly close to. Things started pilling on, and in hindsight, I see that I might have been a little too rough with how I spoke to her... too often. We argued every day, about meaningless things. But that never scared me, it never made me waver in my dedication towards her. She had an episode where she got sectioned.

​

I was able to scrounge up some money to buy a flight to England to see her for the holidays. From the get-go, things felt different. This sweet amazing girl was jaded and cynical. On edge literally all the time. Admittedly, I might not have been in the best of mental states. I had/have a vast amount of insecurities and uncertainties, and I'm still slowly working through it. So it wasn't an amazing time for either one of us. The entirety of that trip is a blur now. Her actions raised a lot of questions, she was dodging questions, keeping secrets, started smoking and was starting to rely on a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I flat out asked her if there was some sort of unfaithfulness going on because those were the red flags that were going off for me. And from there, it was a ticking clock to the end. I believe her when she said she didn't but something was off. From there she was becoming more detached from me. Answers got shorter, the affection was all but gone, and I was starting to feel alone in a different country and in someone else's home. She ended our relationship outside of the psych ward. Every single one of the reasons given for ending it was something that could be talked about and figured out. The last time I saw her she took off on a sprint heading toward the street. I chased after her. Her last words to me were ""get your fucking hands off of me.""

​

There were a lot of points that were made on her part that I could understand as something that would cause attrition in a relationship, but none of it was justifiable (in my head) to end an engagement. Apparently, the nurses and other patients were giving her advice and telling her to ""rethink her choices"" when it came to me... which seems unethical to me. A month has passed since then. She was taken off the medication (3 months after asking for it the first time), she's been discharged, and back at her parent's house. I sent her flowers for her birthday, and spoke to her briefly over the phone. She was very cold with me, and when we spoke of what she was up to she informed me that she wasn't going to be traveling to the US for her job this year. Instead, she had applied at her local Lidl. I am not putting down the job or the people that work in something similar, but it shocks me to see that she has decided to possibly give up on a career that she fought tooth and fucking nail for. Knowing her, and who she is/was, I see that she possibly has given up on herself. I can't imagine what drugs they're funneling her now, and I put money down on the fact that she might not be getting the treatment she needs. As much as I love her parents, I know they aren't going to speak about this situation.

​

I fear for her. I still love her immensely, but I fear she is teetering on becoming part of the cycle of being perpetually in and out of the hospital. I want to do something for her but I don't know what. I want to move on but I feel an empty hole in my chest every day because I might have lost her. I can admit my mistakes, and I can see where I might have approached something wrong but I'm only human. I only did it because I wanted to help. I want her to see that she isn't alone, she doesn't need to give up. I promised her I would never give up on her, or us, and I don't want to give up. I still see myself with her, and our lives together. Part of me still holds on to that very small slither of hope. I'd like t think I am a stable and logical person, but I'm not. I was only trying to be that way for her. I still don't understand what happened because in the context of our time together, this seems like just a speed bump.

​

I'm not trying to have a pity party. I'm not trying to justify my actions. The only goal I have for writing this is my own catharsis, and to tell each and every one of you... please don't give up. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on your loved ones. Don't give up on each other. Love each other unconditionally. Don't be afraid to speak up. I took for granted what I had and now there's a possibility that it's gone. I still thank NHS mental health for trying even if it might've been misguided at times.

​

Love each other... regardless, and unconditionally. ",4.229139708496266,5.6688249759450215,4.98617845716317,83.14417525773197,71.14776632302406,7.825950942054746,28.327763953075014,8.326086129247049,1.9103969783149668,4688,174,921,72,87,1515,407,1164,0.06,0.8320000000000001,0.108,0.9961,9,2,8,0,0,0,180.0,17,3,3,10,35,39,5,8,63,0,103,22,5,10,9,164,207,58,0,19,29,2,5,2,1,7,9,8,1,3,68,56,0,2,26,4,6,24,33,21,0,6,74,25,162,18,176,113,30,172,0,3,10,8,145,83,2,25,63,699,230,8,0.032711241840180545,0.0,0.0,0.0356600819664381,0.0,0.06393009388107683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775796270410928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248098318070562,0.27823417481761964,0.0,0.034300589215146685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061161190855012475,0.0,0.030733288497084614,0.050305851661282534,0.0,0.0997023470550212,0.07225399324146141,0.0,0.036854367882696214,0.034328430188024665,0.0,0.03571220395211869,0.0,0.041198663986401034,0.0,0.0,0.03741294629090811,0.0,0.03360345609613189,0.034604156511028814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835179461423107,0.0,0.0,0.08438417941359158,0.03372385399141696,0.0,0.0332012219015519,0.0,0.06835257098012984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586931080530918,0.0,0.027326045142596414,0.0,0.11588980423772532,0.0,0.0,0.021605466728369948,0.0,0.13780316037322074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030837247580951337,0.11042772401031486,0.03307957347448028,0.0,0.031407921974310166,0.035833566523048456,0.0,0.02782416559871193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604820319586365,0.05127082126432928,0.3137960385375427,0.11154331541183178,0.0,0.05232433665680734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05785288625747299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714234264304922,0.06954104085896537,0.0,0.0,0.02192565588208824,0.0,0.032812042677335465,0.06497928798770683,0.0,0.03774438118816919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03414203783370963,0.06492172019792206,0.029075254738326964,0.0,0.0,0.0539317291274524,0.05332805602207377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03196212090892954,0.03278525787543477,0.057769251685222976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03570818459844369,0.1112397121897741,0.17713903735747427,0.18571300772350785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590626951360125,0.0988957140261343,0.20820874966648736,0.0,0.0,0.1044392046135244,0.03476687328022274,0.0240465265562582,0.048509942683707064,0.10091570516496133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082992022249567,0.09951349377787244,0.0,0.0,0.07264392589808356,0.10626926167700604,0.0,0.022677856362524382,0.028562194643429756,0.0,0.07181424107790657,0.030922696746723568,0.1106310306612054,0.031328327460479345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865149886500713,0.07328815436076858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03363260466134076,0.0,0.07023926379167447,0.0,0.027935221800325316,0.031115881789019962,0.0,0.03274965960429834,0.0,0.2085329968629272,0.08933725806892924,0.03412495929606927,0.0,0.0,0.027059077278843453,0.03676880637566975,0.0,0.0,0.02771612905919297,0.15109627257152192,0.0,0.0,0.09261274135327023,0.0,0.18286267991881294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026292057111318715,0.05718213434932935,0.030116116592494312,0.0,0.0,0.0869275822807001,0.020960042949132646,0.0,0.0,0.17166769356463088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903017986135746,0.08883514394869928,0.0,0.0,0.06810711275906325,0.1967379815238018,0.0,0.0,0.08097060094959213,0.09646968978195243,0.02596466118975664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03652093332876909,0.0,0.09459740949164047,0.0,0.04762834729732291,0.0,0.0,0.04647425534377194,0.03576460785546466,0.27823417481761964,0.04212993452976952
mentalhealth,redneck_ancap,2019/02/04,"I don’t even know what’s wrong with me I wake up everyday and I feel like shit, sore and more tired than I was when I went to bed. I don’t really want anything in life besides my escape. I don’t get most people. We just don’t mesh well. I can’t get close to girls, we’ll send pics back and forth for whatever but I can never get the emotional connection I want. I just feel kinda gray every day. I don’t like food. I can only make friends with super fucked up kids. I get mad easy and lash out at people or bully people. Even my sister. I don’t even feel bad but I know it’s wrong to do that. I don’t know what my problem is, I’ve been this way for so long. I don’t remember what it was like to not be like this. I don’t want to die really, I just don’t like living like this. I don’t get pleasure from every day social interactions or helping people or accomplishing things. I don’t like this and don’t know why I’m like this and I don’t know what to do about it.",-0.4019867149758447,1.4376263657407442,2.0577938808373597,97.03615942028988,86.26851851851852,5.423188405797101,15.409822866344605,6.7026698264267655,-0.548894283413849,749,13,187,9,23,256,102,216,0.177,0.598,0.225,0.8081,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,2,0,0,2,11,19,3,0,1,0,25,7,2,1,1,37,45,13,1,4,9,1,3,8,1,1,3,0,1,2,14,11,1,0,9,0,0,2,17,7,1,0,4,4,29,12,18,39,2,16,0,0,1,1,10,6,2,5,15,111,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278901752964493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670281228972193,0.09414699353722067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543726875316593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702347721220945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683592075500233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234238758697044,0.0,0.19000448102486528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103927007696385,0.08055328827251282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634564485344428,0.0,0.08711541614192192,0.1042415959701681,0.2945531679529793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755783259201567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30984020298354953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964327244841922,0.4406971639334991,0.0,0.09956608266382927,0.09978598168930354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526586000784853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696478792283996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857564228254367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126847248820593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078927720598966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446944210252874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277311690450551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574295871128308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494108358443075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491042891023733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959704522274942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19952017020516344,0.08950088591917514,0.0,0.0,0.10138166287932326,0.10452643389153336,0.10174523106633797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246563131652093,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnonJamie123,2019/02/04,"Is it all in my head? Hello. I am a 21 year old female. I have always been told that my issues are in my head and not real. My mother has always made me feel bad about my anxiety, depressed feelings, ect. I got married a few years ago and he has been trying to talk me into going to a doctor but I don't know if the problems are made up or not. 

I don't eat all day. I'm just not hungry but after I eat dinner with my husband I am starving and want to eat everything. But I don't know if the hunger is real or not. It feels fake but I just want to eat something. When I try and eat during the day I feel sick and don't really eat much. Maybe an egg and some fried potatoes. 

I feel tired a lot but emotionally tired. He thinks I'm in a bad mood but I can't explain I just feel like a bland bowl of rice. I'm not angry or sad or anything just bland. I can still enjoy things but it all feels so muted. 

I finally got a new job after being unemployed for 5 months. I'm excited to start working again but at the same time I just want to quit and stay at home in bed. I know I'll feel better getting out every day but I don't want to interact with people. It makes me feel tired and anxious sometimes. But I put on a face and work anyways. 

I just need some advice on how to deal with all of this... I am scared to go to a doctor and be told that everything is made up in my head. Or that I'm just looking for meds. I've had really bad doctors do that to me before. But I got a second opinion and they found a slipped disc in my back, arthritis and narrowing of my spine. But the fear of being called a lier or treated like that again keeps me from going back. 
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mentalhealth,novadelfuego,2019/02/04,Convo with my mom I brought up to my mom yesterday that it makes me feel really upset whenever her and my step dad fight when my little sisters hear them and get upset and they will immediately apologize to them and hug them and say I love you but in the past few years when my step dad was really bad on drugs and alcohol he would scream in my face push my and spit in my face and my mom would just stand their and watch and even though that hasnt happened it awhile i still have never gotten an apology or i love you out of them in years but my sisters get one  for just seeing them yell. i told her it felt shitty. she didnt even say anything just got out of the car. ,4.040780141843971,4.32881165957447,4.830638297872341,88.33333333333334,70.70212765957447,8.536170212765958,23.46808510638298,8.515128840125781,1.0480127659574467,528,11,121,8,9,171,84,141,0.132,0.7929999999999999,0.075,-0.8362,0,0,2,0,1,0,3.0,0,2,7,0,10,8,1,2,3,0,7,8,3,1,1,25,21,16,0,2,6,7,2,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,5,13,1,0,2,0,0,5,3,5,0,1,7,9,28,3,14,11,1,23,0,0,2,3,29,9,0,1,8,82,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677510378615519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917127627585387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106171006554784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18203302737915544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20735174603587314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936772906008095,0.0,0.15071388048702025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401858602900493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554163608638227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388062698380647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769143260301291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573231569161443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833394679609497,0.0,0.1047773481824767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5515170171452806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210633860140106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636556830765034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984370200573546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20111541986401746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24965448218760306,0.0,0.0,0.12508316051801474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535483476958742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422024728956332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499896354072843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301110437467409,0.0,0.0,0.2021644705701715
mentalhealth,PandaaFreak,2019/02/04,"I mentioned my severe anxiety to my mother yesterday... ...because I was starting to have a panic attack in the middle of the restaurant we were eating at. Her response? 

“That’s a symptom of WiFi poisoning. You need to be careful of having your phone so close to your head all of the time.” 

She’s an IRL meme and doesn’t even know it lol. You kids and your damn phones...


P.S  her phone was right next to her on the table 🙄",1.3010457516339855,3.5482084117647053,2.808627450980392,91.74771241830068,82.52941176470588,5.189542483660131,21.20915032679739,6.42735559955562,0.3354052287581704,325,10,67,3,9,106,63,85,0.19,0.762,0.049,-0.9153,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,5,0,0,2,5,3,1,7,1,7,4,1,0,1,7,11,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,14,1,12,7,1,10,0,0,0,0,16,6,1,0,4,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21125187866634965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141573453344359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833679114250735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28155050998385384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825675612894477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18239264408604694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28340673123984456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176329829480867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475967545116436,0.0,0.0,0.2936857168825233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239992806274519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23582822955641505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119677729800124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19545843401405855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28702271169899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102367324722905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Novis619,2019/02/04,"How I Overcame My Bipolar Disorder Hey everyone, I'm a fourth-year medical student who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder around 3 years ago. It's been an incredible journey since then and I wanted to share this video with those currently suffering from depression or bipolar disorder. The things I discuss in the video were extremely beneficial to me, so I hope some of what I talk about can help all of you out there. Let me know if you have any questions.

Best of luck.

Link: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS9vm8KRNXY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS9vm8KRNXY)",8.948666666666668,12.471099144444445,5.9730555555555584,72.27625000000003,63.111111111111114,10.277777777777779,34.58333333333333,10.411451182825502,4.3566666666666665,473,21,68,13,8,131,73,90,0.14400000000000002,0.6679999999999999,0.188,0.6699,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,1,5,6,0,0,4,0,6,5,0,1,1,16,10,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,10,4,12,6,3,8,0,2,0,0,9,3,0,6,4,48,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17226135718225866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215070896231024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299443576732984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039367981092927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737569474966407,0.197240329686868,0.0,0.0,0.6681552535205869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18569014414902826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302549528932174,0.0,0.0,0.19301301957374886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679839901900667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871505760109687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957665047063624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21769348988303933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160751352445015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619467344182494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910387032416876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462056109743828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25028362513216684
mentalhealth,woozels,2019/02/04,"What can cause a lack of empathy/compassion? Hi Reddit,

I was hoping someone could help me narrow down causes of a lack of empathy. I've been looking into things like borderline personality disorder / sociopathic personality, but they seem a bit extreme. Are there any conditions that can simply cause a reduced ability to empathise and provide compassion? No malicious intentions, just perhaps a failure to recognise social cues and most importantly to **adequately provide comfort/compassion** to people in distress?

Thanks in advance for any replies.",6.762272727272728,10.701838863636368,7.375454545454549,56.43318181818182,75.13636363636363,10.472727272727274,42.09090909090909,10.018931242160765,6.507259090909091,452,30,51,16,11,148,67,88,0.165,0.639,0.196,0.4989,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,1,5,0,6,0,0,4,0,15,10,3,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,3,3,12,7,4,6,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,3,1,38,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27604574162183004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215847483097067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6255015824322361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205069759426244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23261498673863265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604287617397332,0.0,0.0,0.20158961896337613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915823910707416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043912489154436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407100805380432,0.3544416760008876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18477132607501426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689682406961954,0.1719712255769717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868625113185637,0.0,0.0,0.134840644858167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cmcdude,2019/02/04,People don’t understand I got my first “just be happy” today from a good friend. I’ve been struggling with depression for 3 years now and I’ve told my parents and they’re supportive and try to help but no one else knows. I decided to tell a good friend of mine because I trust him and he said “just be happy”. That wasn’t the response I was expecting. Why can’t people understand it’s not that easy. As much as I and probably a lot of other people wish it was it isn’t. It makes me not want to tell any body if they’re just gonna say that. Idk what to do anymore. ,0.7778650137741074,2.6947904710743806,2.6780371900826445,93.82190426997248,82.30578512396694,6.347382920110194,20.00068870523416,7.492282038375204,0.4601068870523424,441,12,102,7,12,147,78,121,0.101,0.6609999999999999,0.239,0.9636,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,10,0,1,4,0,10,1,1,1,0,22,21,9,0,4,7,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,9,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,7,2,10,8,11,11,2,4,0,1,0,0,11,0,0,2,4,62,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529646990825436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355961523516426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438899116639436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199226884105245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336341472528615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293489024964297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170677514039772,0.0,0.0,0.2392579094125778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597447931988904,0.12383964611588605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3296599939288233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378594890197236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509598243443267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163938113511098,0.0,0.0,0.10335686330350746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382517311496004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492355164999592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719314309647712,0.0,0.0,0.32203955780907645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694364569459616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728824235690166,0.12313493630146807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187232621208208,0.0,0.0,0.17571053067856876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706738674364337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677015958343387,0.14795619962374926,0.0,0.10512615631821352,0.0,0.0,0.322387679651925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913286092616105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397189633920437,0.0,0.1780582911415729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971184569949697
mentalhealth,bigfatfriggenhippo,2019/02/04,"How to get Diagnosed I have been struggling with my mental health for quite some time now. A couple of years back I went to some therapists and they all said it seemed like I had ADHD and some kind of anxiety disorder. I then went to my doctor and he sent me to a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist made me fill out these sheet that was a check list of things I was experiencing. I finished the sheet and explained what was happening and he said it seemed like I have ADHD, general anxiety disorder and OCD. Does this count as a diagnosis or does some more paperwork and testing need to be done. I am scared to get any further testing done because I would hate to go back and find out that I dont have OCD and that I dont have any reason to be the way I am.  ",7.859480519480519,5.686468324675327,8.161428571428573,75.73357142857145,63.805194805194795,12.176623376623375,34.98701298701299,10.914260884657429,3.403335064935065,598,20,128,13,7,198,85,154,0.125,0.8420000000000001,0.033,-0.915,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,4,6,1,2,7,0,18,3,0,3,1,29,33,14,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,9,13,0,0,5,0,1,5,2,3,0,0,13,3,17,3,16,17,6,16,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,7,9,89,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053124099662181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17275913525261932,0.0,0.19434353129713453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534472436503625,0.0,0.07743165799139062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054783679733948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289250321137632,0.0,0.0,0.2911572822653368,0.13001277846038944,0.22231626457835804,0.2599759722030884,0.2977385440933057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609614530320213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272789171440494,0.0,0.07218974030628393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232546261000652,0.0,0.0,0.12540829320624036,0.0,0.13501883985702887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227425199916482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411342801859684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019163810543193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800867334079388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418547812605373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510392636865065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060015227422042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24165472408170294,0.0,0.12717155196030966,0.0,0.0,0.2312727906951699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279136101188987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748276223430273,0.08438801868755325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406776564275648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082444518573233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355020198095958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023304745267466,0.0,0.0,0.08179824191873179
mentalhealth,ellceegee,2019/02/04,"instagram. so i've made an instagram dedicated to my thoughts on opinions on media forms about sex offenders & sexual offences. i'm starting training this year to be a counsellor. if anyone is interested, the instagram handle is 'ellceecounselling'. 

",7.359878048780487,10.855298097560981,7.978231707317076,56.11905487804882,68.02439024390246,12.880487804878054,41.95731707317073,11.698219412168324,7.20489756097561,206,13,25,9,4,68,35,41,0.11,0.762,0.128,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,4,7,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,5,4,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,2,16,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5348307020054668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451464757509131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.467069623481841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493826207738833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918744807998445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178713149823686
mentalhealth,vincent-vangogh69,2019/02/04,"My sister is struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore My sister [22] has been struggling with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder ever since I can remember. She is in her first year of nursing school, however it has taken her two extra years to get to where she is right now. 

I call her everyday to make sure she is having a good day, and it seems as if it’s never enough. She’ll text me throughout the night while I’m sleeping and say that “I’m too busy for her” even though it’s 2 am and I’m asleep already. She’ll send me very scary hints that she wants to commit suicide and even did it one time before a very important exam of mine. 

Overall, it has affected my daily life and I really try to be there for her but it seems as if she is not putting as much effort in trying to get better.  She skips her medication, talks back to my parents, refuses to go to therapy, which causes me to be her one and only outlet. 

I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel defeated. Even my boyfriend doesn’t know how to make this better. I want my sister to be happy, what should I do?",4.051733333333335,4.674675151111117,5.416444444444448,82.94600000000003,70.82222222222222,8.666666666666668,27.0,8.841846274778883,1.8779333333333328,859,27,179,15,15,289,127,225,0.087,0.821,0.092,0.4854,2,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,0,5,11,9,0,2,3,0,25,4,2,5,4,33,42,17,1,5,4,4,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,14,9,0,1,7,0,0,3,5,4,0,4,3,2,33,5,24,33,3,19,0,2,0,0,25,4,0,4,12,129,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623553829861612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944426510558089,0.0,0.2448681502399865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492918810142206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505101641285992,0.0,0.0,0.2183716311449701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260612432603719,0.0,0.0,0.12682217671558468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961818929409169,0.0,0.10633151373640214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148999674859927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756190039855306,0.0,0.24462236666454926,0.11167201370396812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242250054362145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501066427300404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900016665223127,0.0,0.07016225760693855,0.10354810238954568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13142002341868167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035427327002278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719983806298104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481419214927442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436781108180454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075354724197024,0.0,0.09521602002183484,0.0,0.0,0.11585404889113075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731245366692454,0.09389300506306647,0.0,0.0,0.1370820427102004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779604592132837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410626044459562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908836220001253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985032148870638,0.10542979941154698,0.0,0.09817628168670503,0.0,0.1249429371305074,0.0,0.22477738594687255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212315871917622,0.0,0.12354404518149535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581237067694833,0.0,0.1350396094276858,0.0,0.11635477047613912,0.0,0.0,0.09922836221515123,0.0,0.0,0.14118142310002574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212938001915458,0.0,0.07198753772141034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763552969352474,0.0,0.1205974864280226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20372642292148668,0.14563378255170278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900179989419244
mentalhealth,YellowBananaM,2019/02/04,"Open-source website / dictionary regards mental health Hello everyone,  
I hope I post this on the right place. 

I am a social worker and currently in training for my new challenge: social work teacher.

**I have tis idea for a while now.**   
I'm curious what you all think about it! I would like to have an **open-source website / dictionary** for all information regards psychology/psychiatry/mental health. Think of: causes, disorders, treatments, medication, etc.

​

I think it would be nice to make a good place with a lot of information. I think a strong community can share a lot of information!

​

Any suggestion is welcome!

​",3.6017368421052645,6.723965518181821,4.260622009569378,74.82777511961723,93.8181818181818,7.406698564593303,29.425837320574164,8.032893268588372,3.3323636363636364,517,26,77,14,19,164,72,110,0.0,0.777,0.223,0.9686,1,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,0,4,2,8,0,0,8,0,8,3,0,2,2,19,15,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,8,12,12,5,10,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,3,5,49,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742386726835631,0.4196964698863369,0.07829417897204087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827298996298286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195204024008148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840338609651875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001422159221633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965678400400746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447613365720009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435274178325483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997079583929164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05624801798129054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957633959683796,0.0,0.0,0.07685196626747706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598407512578865,0.11602667454733835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119587185909688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24057831784771544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102652938046105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832269032541263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23472656201515016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950895220128044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381797136780475,0.0,0.0,0.16357392287526526,0.0,0.4196964698863369,0.0
mentalhealth,Jason_Beaver21,2019/02/04,"OCD and body image. Please help So I'm 19 years old and I have a pretty severe case of pectus excavatum. It's a condition that causes my chest to push into my heart and lungs. I've had it looked at a lot over the years. The doctors always tell me that it's not too uncommon and I should be fine other than exercising may be difficult. Growing up it was difficult to cope with it, but I eventually did. 

I've lived my life with OCD (usually it's been with dermatillomania). But here recently I've had racing thoughts of impending doom and this weird notion that I'm going to die at the age of 19. I'm not sure if this is my OCD playing it's role and it getting worse with age or if I'm going crazy and delusional. It's as if I'm obsessing over my chest. It's effecting my social life, my mood, my grades, my sleep. I'm not sure what to do. 

Sorry for the long post. If anyone can help me out, id be so thankful. ",0.6576288659793832,2.668003268041243,3.2167113402061887,89.27712886597942,83.32989690721652,6.7665979381443275,20.009278350515466,7.908726449838941,0.7834379381443304,710,20,160,14,20,247,107,194,0.16,0.7390000000000001,0.101,-0.9047,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,0,1,7,0,14,10,6,2,2,31,26,17,1,5,10,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,17,13,0,0,2,2,0,4,3,5,0,0,6,1,14,5,21,15,1,20,1,1,1,0,5,7,0,7,8,95,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093690368153197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843374095094145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18814189459932867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399889925072165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757886692515324,0.0,0.0,0.17336659232914706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849354104284822,0.0,0.19252398766079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007149405152708,0.22706235798600574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392748055701108,0.0,0.0,0.1495647676091829,0.14989509241219431,0.14223570788614814,0.0,0.0,0.1439999759147974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17773477672912033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18592728769229294,0.0,0.0,0.16221826939155345,0.172319344423951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724133678678635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19135006770564827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695013319221794,0.17266056869081092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18960593267144368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192754218502649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804471904804298,0.15594143417300468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446801287296842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18654704809734016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261168004161925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21814905623736394
mentalhealth,geektweak001,2019/02/04,"I wish Robin Williams was my therapist Wouldn't it be sweet if therapy was as easy as Robin Williams from Good Will Hunting backing you into a corner saying ""It's not your fault"" over and over again, and then you have an emotional release and then you're all better? That would be neat.",3.4305357142857105,5.601865267857144,3.3172857142857133,91.2277142857143,74.89285714285714,6.622857142857143,25.485714285714288,7.554174236665415,1.2010328571428577,229,8,46,3,5,69,43,56,0.039,0.6579999999999999,0.303,0.931,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,0,1,10,9,8,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,5,4,6,2,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,4,34,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644038855214301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30411251226911995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38679149367437854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884099312101524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734479338038536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39322907503653853,0.3992430868961045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39541720060749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442652948675892,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,suffocatinginfarts,2019/02/04,I’m lowering my dose of Zoloft. How long does it take usually for my body to adjust? It’s been four days. I’m going from 100 to 50. I’m having a rough day. ,-2.2608333333333306,-0.4739743055555561,1.312444444444445,98.47700000000002,97.61111111111113,5.102222222222223,12.755555555555556,6.742157984588678,-0.6914377777777783,119,2,31,2,5,43,29,36,0.062,0.938,0.0,-0.25,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,1,0,2,7,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,5,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4340893270226072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.504065745021697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.341990631523794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220999432831247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458446080165768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29383203467891844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43040962641032776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CostumedGreatness,2019/02/04,"What kind of therapy/counselling/mental health help am I looking for in this situation? (Ontario, Canada) I have very bad anxiety which goes down for months (though still present) but once it gets triggered by a life event it gets 10x worse. Everything feels stressful and I can't stop thinking and going through what if's. 

Anyways, I've gotten myself into a situation with a friend that's affecting me a lot and I don't know how to think straight. I just want someone I can talk to about the situation and help me think through why I think/feel/react to situations like this in the way I do. 

Is this an appropriate reason to look for therapy/counselling? And if so, is there a more appropriate kind of counsellor/therapist I should be looking for? I know it'll go away eventually but I really want to understand why it happens and what I can do about it in the future.",4.566370336250575,6.330824467065868,5.388862275449103,79.30753109166285,70.79640718562874,8.970796867802855,30.81022570244127,9.466822959209583,2.891619438046983,694,30,131,16,13,226,101,167,0.078,0.79,0.132,0.764,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,9,0,13,2,0,4,0,29,31,13,0,5,5,0,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,13,8,0,1,8,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,4,15,4,23,27,2,16,0,0,3,0,4,7,0,3,7,91,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924511647582632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135440828502656,0.0,0.10090606153915548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086136508337855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222124287673977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933696681323194,0.0,0.12627997549498368,0.0,0.13736553062233867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686869566477783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845962945899994,0.0,0.0,0.1620085978276226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516967471616818,0.1328337885891261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853610789778722,0.05904200106828729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044547911865831,0.0,0.0,0.102743732567974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646261660689807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870303982176715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742064758319621,0.12425560156049548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5433691741540061,0.0,0.0,0.10239719236306873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651226636036173,0.10103737252089187,0.13843513174422048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971359609380778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031805493418364,0.0,0.30974737420464465,0.11873611107165895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581080697792935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971524983979947,0.1425628428949996,0.09592639725451008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21809959429530987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315813374023213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shackleton150,2019/02/04,"Mental Health test 17 points Hey there, a person i know recently went to her first therapy session and she said that she had to take a test and depending on your score it gives a representation of your mental health, she said that if you get more then 17 points then it can be a sign of a mental illness, does anyone have a link or knowledge of said test? Id like to understand it a but more for the sake of talking about it since she wants to talk about it when we see each other next.",6.609300000000001,5.239661330000004,6.6060000000000025,83.32300000000005,65.7,10.0,29.0,8.841846274778883,1.8243,383,9,85,5,5,122,65,100,0.02,0.961,0.019,-0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,3,0,1,4,1,0,0,8,0,4,3,0,1,0,14,15,8,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,8,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,4,10,1,12,9,3,10,0,0,1,0,17,3,0,3,7,55,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110521094923602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832170883329065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444802747417506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258122196590592,0.15162811715200508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360264565281961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686711045874883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722143715058245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4778699878453638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810144412539865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801422783080153,0.0,0.0,0.2988406295261222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560678191007997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510613892242294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595548459500258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075107508633382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884345768671432,0.25408957579082264,0.0,0.0,0.18075843994708585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645488152184009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322945880418076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652567987113374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EPIC-HAZARD9,2019/02/04,Why do I feel so foggy? So for 4 months now my head sometimes feels hot and I feel loopy and drunk. It feels like looking at yourself in the mirror of a steamy bathroom or like a camera is completely out of focus. Nothing feels real or there just puffy and numbed static. The best way of describing it is feeling NULL.,3.6352380952380976,5.277072206349208,4.120825396825399,87.96028571428577,72.96825396825399,6.309841269841268,25.29841269841269,6.742157984588678,0.949656507936508,251,8,49,2,5,79,48,63,0.064,0.7759999999999999,0.16,0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,4,0,3,3,1,0,0,14,10,7,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,6,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,3,3,7,10,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,4,30,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352280918211216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350135093416081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6800117195023708,0.16013041930403793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300391403541951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901347282073585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882267423421861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891172621348944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150747663627451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551279720062543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22168677900447936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17791718622132055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225749764207215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peachuchuu,2019/02/04,"My friend (17F) lies about having mental illnesses? As the title says... I don't know what to do at this point, she claims to have schizophrenia, depression, social anxiety.. everytime she finds out about a new mental health condition she claims she has it, without doing any sort of research or therapy. I've been ignoring it, but after I told her about having social anxiety, the same night she was laughing hanging out with people and was telling a story and said ""oh, I just didn't help because I have social anxiety"".. she didn't even know what it was before I told her... 

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, it's my first post on Reddit 😅",6.7907314285714255,6.626178016000003,6.855885714285716,77.71480000000003,64.84,10.022857142857145,30.65714285714286,9.606745405546679,2.6788742857142864,512,16,95,9,7,164,81,125,0.147,0.802,0.05,-0.8533,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,5,0,15,2,0,0,0,16,20,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,9,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,9,2,15,2,15,11,1,13,0,1,0,0,18,6,0,3,4,68,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143225933408058,0.0,0.3423153879117326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092506746535693,0.0,0.1269221022206721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846919255584022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851716523852018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632731260042535,0.12687334897111302,0.0,0.0,0.11523876506217096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585475171467924,0.0,0.0,0.09997717201185344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639461943234833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006314874713556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405730616727996,0.0,0.1399742709603977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340707519123328,0.0,0.1558379093214613,0.0,0.14100211133219326,0.0,0.2857034334757339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188300147785873,0.11861608278889607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4561420623508948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696968280695065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037028658554606,0.0,0.1705746752981235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28505289158121466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378257038972134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308038266820252,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadlhama,2019/02/04,"Struggling to get through 3 more months of waiting on psychiatry appointment Everyday feels like agony. I struggle to get up everyday or even take a shower. 

I have to wait until the beginning of May to see someone. Then it hits me that they’ll most likely see me for an hour & not be any help like the rest of them. Although I keep praying it’ll be my saving grace. 

I’m just trying to take it one day at a time. ",3.71756862745098,4.661640070588239,4.789117647058824,85.95936274509806,71.82352941176471,8.019607843137255,28.284313725490193,8.344100000000001,1.8084901960784319,326,12,69,5,6,107,64,85,0.115,0.769,0.116,0.0366,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,2,7,0,2,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,10,19,4,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,8,5,14,13,3,12,1,0,2,0,3,3,0,3,12,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23935307661193425,0.0,0.1502246078689649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424669983856008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590725488598194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169741943419488,0.1578162913627337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308299987368525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480695743142383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21754929150734093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635264802724264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237725928895681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632617984161927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969257199764974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520691951248622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717412393513905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.461880759179011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33218974646600835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288128819716905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998162448784175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cryptic_blue_alien,2019/02/04,"My friend and her young brother have issues, their parents treat therapy like a punishment. This might be a long post, and sorry in advance if I make any grammatical mistake, English is not my first language.

​

My friend Angy is 20 and has had mental health issues for years now; anxiety, depression, low self esteem, etc. I've recommended her to seek help and go to therapy multiple times but economically she depends solely on her parents, and as the title suggest they aren't helpfull.

Her brother Rob, 15, was found crying at the high school's bathroom. The principal, who seems really caring, called the parents to inform them. Instead having an understanding approach, they said things like ""If you don't get good we'll have to take you to therapy and spend the money"". Now, as Angy explained to me, Rob hates their parents wasting money because their struggle with it, and even though he is young understand clearly the effort that takes earning it. Taking all this in account the things their are telling him come across as manipulative, and it honestly makes me really sad.

Their aren't  any better with Angy, with her they didn't even consider therapy, even though they acknowledge she has problems. Everytime she tries to talk to them about it they just get angry and shut her down.

Talking with her we reach the conclusion that 1) Her mother has or had her own issues, but her family just teached her to keep it all for herself, and thats exactly what she is doing to Angy and Rob; and 2) Her father doesn't understand what mental healt really is so just ignores it.

I tried to help Angy and advise her on what to do next, since I had issues too but thanks to therapy now I'm doing great. I told her to talk to the high school principal, he helped her before, about whats going on with the parents. Also, even though she can't pay for therapy, thanks to the National Health System that is implemented in Spain everyone can have access to free health care, which includes mental health. 

She will change doctors, being that the one she has assigned now is shared with her parents. Once that is done, she will asked to be referred to a psychologist. Angy is afraid of hospitals and thinking of all the things she as to do makes her panic, so I recommended her to make it step by step.

​

All this situation makes me sad. Parents should be more understanding of their kids struggles and keep their mind open. Their attitude makes me think this will end in either Angy or Rob exploding, or them draffting away from the parents.

I wish I could do more but I can't think of anything. What do yoy guys think?",7.203977529677785,7.6833286331967265,6.76251271905031,76.55049180327869,63.89754098360656,9.927755794234027,32.8111927642736,9.753983421225431,3.0519535613340865,2095,78,374,39,29,653,233,488,0.14,0.747,0.113,-0.957,8,0,0,0,0,0,67.0,2,2,16,6,21,29,2,4,18,0,48,5,0,8,6,77,85,34,0,7,14,12,0,2,2,6,5,1,0,3,27,24,0,3,15,0,6,7,8,13,0,2,9,1,64,17,53,65,9,38,0,4,0,0,86,17,0,8,14,264,91,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04338088005121267,0.0,0.11755204863409124,0.13183078992306926,0.07377891548426144,0.0,0.04149839876634486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04464022023219345,0.0,0.05071312389856455,0.0,0.05096634141927428,0.0,0.0,0.0330681427780904,0.0,0.04615974796529774,0.0,0.0,0.04797659175808237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05539170791286625,0.0,0.1106157768625691,0.0,0.057385569247963765,0.046728527999301474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04331138981434377,0.0,0.059587196767940276,0.0,0.0,0.046722402528225994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552355758135022,0.0,0.055512969699295665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04804626854650668,0.0,0.06049915009704013,0.14331711933857386,0.0,0.0,0.05183482388784899,0.0,0.0,0.05113874126390819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04614201710776575,0.0,0.05947845110451697,0.08382137166076008,0.0,0.05668308012124537,0.0,0.06165903459866215,0.045499362802939584,0.0,0.05980692136059468,0.0,0.05371253093503736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355715546942924,0.0,0.23064583091431576,0.0,0.0,0.1090807900658629,0.114628741420049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264768714415565,0.0,0.0964335046662198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300416735043358,0.0,0.0,0.04800641624719204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21725962766934293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400303945466185,0.057546928975666635,0.05477346772794757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057691733053979975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057770716928551014,0.03675880994034515,0.0,0.0,0.06364654095560764,0.4818742556247309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051953120265573915,0.0,0.0,0.051906542761667535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425502743714116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051600812421079084,0.0,0.0,0.10980064134405174,0.0,0.04938394619062415,0.05659089578283458,0.0,0.0,0.0448732380596006,0.060975301731844934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072447856886541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342037093216732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235977635550775,0.1308037660347648,0.04741380315691225,0.09988571711883934,0.3722133757602452,0.0,0.10811682675180907,0.1390357826770777,0.15989063517265148,0.0,0.03163155113895581,0.0,0.0,0.05183482388784899,0.0,0.07365958050582966,0.0,0.0,0.2258899409536801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062380759890870274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183078992306926,0.034932946199681694
mentalhealth,lxstsea,2019/02/04,"i need advice i’ve struggled with mental health problems for most of my life and over the last year/year and a half, i experienced a massive relapse and became someone i don’t recognise. i know i can get back to the person i was but i don’t know where to start",5.463393939393939,4.7149654000000005,6.149090909090912,83.63030303030305,67.72727272727273,8.06060606060606,31.06060606060606,6.42735559955562,1.5768787878787869,207,7,44,1,3,68,39,55,0.08199999999999999,0.918,0.0,-0.3716,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,10,9,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,8,0,6,8,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760107379540765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171896582268092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757053476779827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002353483366153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31045861611065445,0.2302376737267039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995055831099881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846471549546536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094360302856232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24662790064991624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270270290778213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23932232131830625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19992236467239466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295282203370395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36378217561043097
mentalhealth,Dazzlinn,2019/02/04,"Is it just me or does someone else experience this too? Well hey there! I don't really know if this is the right subreddit to post this. If it's not, please let me know where to post :)

This weird thing has been happening for a really long time to me. Whenever someone talks to me, it feels like everything they say is heard by my subconscious mind. I know what topic they're talking about but I just can't understand what they say. It's like, in my conscious mind, there's everything blank. I'm physically in the room but mentally in a completely different place. And that place looks like a black room where it's just me. Kind of like a numb feeling. 

When someone's talking, I'm just looking at their face with a blank expression. I will nod my head to show that I understand whatever they're saying but mentally, I'm still somewhere else. Does this happen with anyone else too? Do you know why this happens? Thanks a lot in advance! :)",2.4574288179465067,4.9358696120218575,3.3838021282715016,87.95730802415878,79.65573770491805,7.787057808455566,24.38567730802416,8.6894789155246,1.87195737704918,741,27,150,18,19,236,100,183,0.033,0.826,0.142,0.963,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,3,1,14,9,0,0,8,0,10,3,2,0,0,26,28,8,0,2,11,0,2,4,0,1,1,4,2,0,16,3,0,0,9,1,0,1,3,2,1,0,2,9,17,7,16,24,1,19,0,0,3,0,13,12,0,4,8,89,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456429406092889,0.1092640022188696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118087013673181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141479772538583,0.0,0.0,0.18664057896974606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672489782204846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916800662950866,0.10431316069229922,0.0,0.0,0.1078395131200742,0.07618274490665118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829008855605388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944212364094552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110478489854831,0.2344234744669046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904534772906536,0.0,0.2083932285138425,0.0,0.0,0.09437193876652697,0.17909938609775589,0.0,0.0,0.09066045252530948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21493355828722085,0.0,0.21534947811292016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22282959545077166,0.11705732540511167,0.0,0.0,0.2042608912603232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366310288571889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106891055207886,0.0,0.2544102444991377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710640025896044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516184417073623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25713656556035824,0.0,0.09817863440432407,0.0,0.0,0.07084604761521318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218191318020764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220294008814081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588104380318747,0.0,0.09622488603534828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,new-account27,2019/02/04,"I just had to make a new account for posting about my mental health I didn’t think I’d need another account for this. so I just posted my mental health stuff on my main account, thinking that people would be respectful. I also had a friend follow me, so they could keep an eye on if I’m feeling really bad and was on the edge of suicide etc, and he’d ring me and make sure I was fine. But today, I had some cunt go through my post history and pick out bits about my medication and my anxiety and depression, using it all against me. I didn’t realise people could be so disgusting. This was after he was disrespecting the dead and talking shit to somebody, I replied telling him to stop being a prick, and he brought all this up against me. It’s disgusting",6.569144736842105,5.735859203947368,6.958157894736843,79.0171052631579,65.51315789473685,10.23157894736842,35.44736842105263,9.516144504307137,3.104957894736842,597,25,121,10,8,195,92,152,0.226,0.7040000000000001,0.07,-0.9823,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,1,0,8,11,5,0,6,0,16,6,3,4,3,30,28,14,2,5,4,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,7,9,0,2,3,0,3,3,2,7,0,0,10,3,21,4,17,11,6,15,0,1,1,0,8,5,3,2,4,87,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198622001905041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716646825082387,0.11466086844353796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514689974484652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636345350630037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393403946774341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909489062020518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716030729957654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578586626628397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580002547647507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518254516613323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186394181667146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332238076743586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20009750036017854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099238602096055,0.30209568706703865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113710494631113,0.0,0.1447589247875365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20782142077160168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43064239091798784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601954405400767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385379719307035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530975579151113,0.0,0.0,0.17158134854147064,0.1639487955722974,0.0,0.1412639192271176,0.0,0.0,0.1204711013363637,0.13100524376356226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207926161490413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207252968711656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945167340304134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647331057715732,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pthompson32,2019/02/04,"Need help with Schizophrenia or Bipolar!? I just want to share some information about my health provider with anyone in need of help with psychotic symptoms.

Fellowship Health Resources (FHR) is a non profit organization which had a team named Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) which specialized in assisting any of us with mental illness.

This team has been by my side for two years now fighting with me in my struggle for a healthier mind and for the tools I need to be independent in maintaining such.

It’s my experience that ACTT is always in your corner for the pursuit of happiness and a better life. The team offers its patients a psychiatrist, therapist, vocational specialist, forensics specialist, nurse, substance abuse specialist, and peer support.

Any of you with ACTT should be in very good hands and receive excellent information on how to manage your disorder symptoms and grow to become more independent in the process.

If any of you have any questions about this health provider or program, please let me know and I’ll do my best to answer.

Again, this health provider is FHR and the team is named ACTT. 

Again the program is for those with mental illness and psychotic symptoms. 

I know many with Bipolar, Schizoaffective, and Schizophrenia qualify for its services.

Fellowship Health Resources
Assertive Community Treatment

Thank you for reading and please always teat your mental health as number one!

-Patrick

Also, directly message me for any additional information and I’ll do my best to help",8.950271139705883,10.760880304687504,7.475909926470589,68.28545036764707,60.40625,10.711029411764708,40.058823529411775,10.718039707386858,4.8281477941176485,1242,64,182,30,17,373,132,256,0.06,0.773,0.16699999999999998,0.9815,0,0,0,0,3,0,29.0,1,6,0,9,9,13,1,1,11,0,15,15,1,3,0,43,23,17,0,6,4,0,1,0,0,1,14,0,0,0,10,20,0,0,7,6,1,2,0,2,0,2,2,1,19,11,39,17,4,16,0,0,0,0,26,10,0,5,4,121,29,13,0.0,0.10969639546244164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740390504423811,0.15407390007606114,0.0,0.0,0.3148000247271785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473658740986155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225128323523136,0.0,0.0,0.1943214973016808,0.08188264721777791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610879653061524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056450047844572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765470902586892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855693579355204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5904720566720925,0.0,0.0,0.18617045362950035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176302167730307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946729768424156,0.06539451612941713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386521217039144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799073992171833,0.0,0.09348301683198054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059486403402101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273702562424238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20325792320545488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371479129585523,0.0,0.09260862813492997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678845328548798,0.0,0.0,0.10506274227547104,0.0,0.2886893480902466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523851567216445,0.0,0.10749666494984883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044069859038543,0.0,0.11136663965237803,0.0,0.0,0.07639114444286715,0.0546081905289021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059620785994333875
mentalhealth,PolymathicPolemicist,2019/02/04,"being a modern male and needing support/being open to being vulnerable I want to ask those who are male with lifelong mental health issues how you feel supported by partners. Do you feel within modern society it is still difficult to be male and vulnerable and open about your mental health struggles and to rely upon the constant support from your partner or others you care about? we live in a climate where ""man up"" is still a term used to instruct males to be strong. Ime being vulnerable and needing support showing frailty and weakness has never had a particularly good outcome. I say this not to critisize the action of doing so nor the people involved with me but more the conditioning and expectations the society they/we are living in impose upon males.",9.671042752867569,9.296981839416064,9.35526590198123,62.84883211678833,59.072992700729934,10.748279457768511,40.00938477580814,9.957137785484203,4.312379353493221,620,28,90,10,7,201,88,137,0.102,0.821,0.077,-0.3841,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,5,0,1,7,9,0,1,9,0,13,3,0,2,1,24,24,12,0,4,3,0,2,0,2,0,3,1,0,8,5,12,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,3,9,6,20,18,2,17,0,0,0,0,18,9,0,1,7,74,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658753512299235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896278463927262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788654007847186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774916382874473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254511923482965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106034800182422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249463676524086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25802505096048856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294476974133911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21666855754435205,0.11268442643927888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012901305265091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618778005287862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333577165232565,0.0,0.0,0.15273964318730052,0.0,0.0,0.6631884371620932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618696231780202,0.0,0.0,0.0861759357997636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,libbey4,2019/02/04,"Seasonal depression? I don’t know where exactly to post this, but I figured in this community hopefully someone else can relate and has a few tricks:
Firstly, I live in Canada, and the cold part too. 
It’s been snowing, grey, and cold since November at least. I can really feel depression setting in now. It’s been probably two weeks since I last saw the sun, not even exaggerating. It’s horrendous. I am so lethargic that once I’m done work I’m basically done for the day. I try to keep up my regular workout schedule, and I take vitamin D daily. My anxiety has spiked too, and everything just feels unending. 
Does anyone has any tips for feeling better? I can’t move or travel right now, as it’s crunch time at my work and I really can’t leave. I already exercise and try to live a healthy lifestyle, but I really miss the sun and being warm. I actually wake up and just wanna cry because I can’t continue to feel like this until winter is over in April or May (yes it sometimes snows in May here). ",3.1802090176171984,5.135535984771575,5.042102120035832,79.55314422215591,74.93908629441624,9.102299193789193,28.339504329650644,9.627879704456738,2.873060555389669,787,33,152,22,17,269,122,197,0.138,0.7440000000000001,0.118,-0.721,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,10,8,1,0,6,1,18,3,1,0,1,28,30,16,0,2,7,0,5,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,9,0,1,6,3,0,2,5,4,0,2,5,9,17,4,19,22,3,29,0,3,2,0,0,12,0,5,14,98,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.13837792229938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564816096167473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964299616126226,0.0,0.1084778482784172,0.0,0.0,0.09915098711118654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644094909126734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254120061584058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576241692416876,0.091450311505371,0.0,0.24426704852865105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240915499363017,0.2902245717205041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845705476388235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365863014886976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744214923543498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867966312859613,0.10130310295919782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061638231535105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084100050905693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603979188495826,0.0,0.0,0.07793045984058658,0.11558724322699325,0.0,0.15014743703745562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927710700764712,0.0,0.25042685009246635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071267688511875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510140933676975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355733189710005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580675074937792,0.0,0.15288612581055955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272525239160801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109780545901255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345995245454333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014804925758453,0.0,0.14024542429720227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066171679667994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826856627549071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19254797861847808,0.0,0.13851957446394514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137447031881701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20646653091110695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,J4shyp,2019/02/04,Want to help a friend that suffers depression So I have this friend that suffers with depression and I seriously want to help her but I don't know how. I am 18 she is 16 and she talks to me a lot about her depression and I always listen to every single word she says. What can I do to help her? She says she had been to different types of treatments.,0.3687062404870645,2.70157278082192,2.2829223744292237,93.14194824961949,88.31506849315069,5.984170471841705,19.07001522070015,7.3871296695380915,0.4954243531202439,275,8,61,5,9,91,44,73,0.19,0.638,0.172,-0.5346,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,1,0,11,12,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,3,15,2,9,10,2,0,0,5,0,0,17,0,0,1,0,46,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074406750141786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5612726428633652,0.0,0.0,0.2269481979376483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18301684029358092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356465724841191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4367930586681911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937818443039785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846722943889764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34548341096944635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459284693832827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562434382517383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AFwuertzen,2019/02/04,"The Strive to be ""Perfect"" - A Post on Difficulty with Managing Expectations As editor of Athlete's Voice, it's my obligation to clarify that my therapist is featured in this post.

She's helped me from the depths of self-hatred, frustration with who I am in a world that seemed to fit anyone but me. However, by no means, is therapy a cure-all. On the contrary, many individuals point to it being a waste of time or at worst, counterproductive to their needs. (And needless to say, even in the time of writing this I've been struggling with low mood likely as a result of the expectation of graduating in course that I no longer am interested in. That's another story though.)

Perhaps at my worst last year all I needed was someone to talk to about my thoughts who would respond non-judgementally and accept my flaws for what they were and nothing more.

That said, she has broached a subject that I wonder whether more attention needs to be given to. Being ""perfect"" is, after all, more a myth and less of a truth than most will admit even as we admire those around or afar from us in being ""better"" at certain skills or traits. 

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So have a glance, if you think it might be worth your time: 

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[https://athletesvoice.blog/2019/02/04/open-blog-series-the-strive-to-be-perfect-by-catherine-watson/](https://athletesvoice.blog/2019/02/04/open-blog-series-the-strive-to-be-perfect-by-catherine-watson/)",11.949614264919946,12.40749272052402,8.496168122270742,68.13877911208152,54.10917030567686,10.952110625909754,35.24053857350801,10.317481424215053,3.4750346433770023,1159,37,178,19,12,323,142,229,0.125,0.7809999999999999,0.094,-0.8658,1,0,0,0,0,0,83.0,2,2,2,4,6,15,1,1,14,0,19,0,0,1,6,39,30,15,0,7,6,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,15,9,0,0,8,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,6,4,19,9,42,15,9,25,0,1,1,0,17,17,0,8,7,134,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956718836061973,0.33158637749629644,0.0,0.14307239022499724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540412341947982,0.0,0.0,0.12146320442208225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067275235902515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18023863948025307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145487194476228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121926205514636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666591615441052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383317941985851,0.0,0.1486264349888977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474446922614406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30351228396846824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092074574580725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289827445238995,0.0,0.2613493700302331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297885454267265,0.1085049561189994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242125897400513,0.14233981411209676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156077176228847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426398565677653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966772119434623,0.0,0.0,0.15603447039449914,0.15842084824656005,0.0,0.08742716998653703,0.1340545622749187,0.10832050725661807,0.2386830450506114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412413844029242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479666215470205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969251979062813,0.0,0.33158637749629644,0.0878648234785286
mentalhealth,POPCORN_EATER,2019/02/04,"I think I have chronic/major/clinical depression, and I feel like it's tearing apart my life. Hello,

A few years ago I attended therapy after realizing that I was being a huge piece of shit to my ex and my now current girlfriend. I was abusive (emotionally) and just a fucking psychotic cunt. I believed that they were the problem and not me. Long story short, I started going to therapy to stop treating my girlfriend like trash.



And it did help! I'm a much better person now and still with my girlfriend. 



I had a childhood full of abuse and all that good stuff, left me pretty messed up as I've recently discovered. Much more than I thought I knew. In 2017 I dropped out of college due to mental health. I spent 2017-18 mostly working OK jobs and just thinking about what I wanted to do with life. I couldn't think of anything, I'm not passionate about any career path, so I decided I just wanted to make money and applied to be a pipefitting apprentice. 


Last October, I got the letter that I passed the exam and interview! But I didn't feel happy. I got such a bitching letter of acceptance, I was going to get paid 22.60 starting, incredible for a someone who just turned 20 with no higher education! But I felt numb. 



A month later, in December. I got sent out to my first job. Good foreman, good people, good pay and good hours. I was on the path to be able to support myself and my girlfriend by myself. My situation was looking bright as fuck. But I still don't feel anything. I still feel numb, I still feel irritated and nothing really entertains me like it used to. I just feel like I'm going through the motions. I want to just die, but I couldn't bring myself to do that to my girlfriend and cunt parents. 



I want to get therapy. I want to ask for a layoff from my current job and FOCUS completely on mental help because I feel like I'm just at a block. But I feel like it's too late. I don't have insurance and therapy is expensive. I feel if I apply for medi-cal or something once I leave this job that I wouldn't qualify due to how much I ""used"" to make. I don't know what to do. Please help me. I'm sorry if this info is convoluted or all over the place, I can provide more information if needed, tried to keep it brief.  
",3.2284675615212493,4.849032736017897,4.774647651006713,82.9461772930649,73.98881431767337,7.830201342281879,27.629194630872483,8.515128840125781,2.0282255033557046,1751,68,346,32,36,588,215,447,0.114,0.7609999999999999,0.125,0.565,8,0,1,0,1,0,58.0,0,0,1,3,19,31,6,0,17,1,26,9,1,5,2,82,78,30,1,13,19,2,10,6,5,1,5,0,0,1,17,21,0,3,21,1,5,9,10,11,0,1,18,12,61,20,50,54,11,50,0,1,2,3,20,15,6,6,31,229,78,13,0.07040524293787154,0.16683740026171015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062409999855146524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787797949640626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587503204478218,0.0,0.0658193981377277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429183826170875,0.0,0.0,0.07932259914741885,0.0,0.062267715957167284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381855770455638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06063993257657568,0.0,0.07306952661517473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791964220184776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203910564321747,0.2011900784897926,0.06760007423682747,0.0,0.0,0.05988666367641851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017702520218385,0.07356766713159572,0.0,0.1200387661531578,0.2952628871108023,0.16892851325627775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074947690287537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483748094537161,0.0,0.0,0.14157345078728514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933498223760713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794653596345394,0.06257941484868776,0.0,0.0,0.038692880262483804,0.05738966985696384,0.07942018067044672,0.07454898655664557,0.07649550245495801,0.0,0.09945861043483356,0.20637867235954388,0.0,0.0,0.062306424476226176,0.05912267205427134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399209273340077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190385078301726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619679320781081,0.0,0.15526786347124455,0.05220459553683776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755572943879026,0.0,0.0,0.07497928595027636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817669038374672,0.0,0.0,0.04881013060630633,0.06147514247653356,0.07355849387798095,0.0772838144481307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162744320954341,0.0,0.06736830905579233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04510340145527992,0.0,0.06951668364935278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226997012519802,0.0,0.07913844292621026,0.0,0.0,0.059654133867609586,0.05420139570253087,0.0,0.07881290530680951,0.09966638665044432,0.0,0.22490287182537635,0.058861935634151916,0.0,0.0,0.08059715885706968,0.0,0.0798950353460206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220581247088807,0.0,0.0,0.13533851050643209,0.0,0.055893898550718864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780053843329142,0.07658068694195411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161504935434984,0.0,0.0,0.20763418210850715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051255855381166865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045338668125426855
mentalhealth,aligators,2019/02/04,caffeine makes me depressed and irritable wanted to post this in case it can help anyone who may be experiencing the same things and consumes caffeine. ,14.214230769230776,11.329738115384615,12.250000000000005,53.54500000000003,52.46153846153846,13.476923076923079,49.07692307692307,11.20814326018867,5.6898923076923085,125,6,18,2,1,39,24,26,0.199,0.7170000000000001,0.084,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,3,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35718912697569805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43998318299665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424032913545323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409876823752669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4892406636676199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393774220765618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013049139777453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Minafatdog12,2019/02/04,Girlfriends legs feel like they’re dissolving Ok so just a bit of back ground info. My girlfriend has a rough mental health. She’s up and down with frequent cutting basically daily unless she’s on holidays or around constant family. She has very bad anxiety and social problems. Basically lately she’s been telling me that she either wakes up with a feeling of her legs are dissolving or even before she goes to bed. Obviously I can’t really find anything on the internet and was wondering if you amazing people had any advice on how I could help my girlfriend or even anyway to stop this as she hates this feeling. Thank you so much everyone for your help!!!,5.813333333333333,7.513627406504064,6.240813008130085,74.66089430894309,67.6178861788618,9.369105691056909,31.55284552845529,9.725611199111238,3.251611382113821,533,22,89,12,9,172,90,123,0.111,0.721,0.168,0.7786,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,9,8,2,0,4,1,8,4,3,1,1,24,14,12,0,3,7,0,4,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,3,6,0,1,6,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,4,16,4,16,10,3,13,0,0,0,0,18,8,0,5,6,64,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943711008590024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487191284518227,0.0,0.14047331544392405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110847465393598,0.16346598724642852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411969871231867,0.15331996140726706,0.0,0.0,0.1562521212746162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20047193060241145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984343700314564,0.0,0.14661034412342827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425663581228248,0.0,0.0,0.1754624222485248,0.0,0.0,0.17310616184054078,0.0,0.278540326165166,0.1311823838993587,0.0,0.0,0.16783075137259082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129256593480525,0.0,0.1951857512881236,0.0,0.0,0.246161148177783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071380200906986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971034234335838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18505172392146094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349861691392263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730308252649095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757051927718387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763545736026168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18718348655825406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351947959621512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049713543787647,0.16905806327829484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151060326759042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19913446204375806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mase22,2019/02/04,"I have no idea what to do Hey, as the title says, i have no idea what to do.
(24 turning 25 male Australian)

TL;DR: i don't know what to do, feel invalidated, scared, and lost. 

I'm somewhere on the autism spectrum, (have been told its on the high functioning side, with aspergers syndrome), diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, might have ptsd/c-ptsd, some form of depression, and general anxiety.

I've honestly never had the best mental health, as I was bullied all through my primary school and high school life, never any friends, or close friends, until high school, of which they're the closest friends I've ever had, and a few since finishing, been the ""boy who cried wolf"" to my family, always been told that I'm an idiot, and not the smartest person out there, family have said it as well, parents almost always chose my friends, and said friends always hurt me in some way, been a little emotionally disconnected from people because of that, family, and having no friends.

It doesn't help that my family are a bunch of narcissists (I don't think I am, but am going to undergo test to put mind at ease, and have proof I'm not one), all have a quitters attitude (I don't as I never learnt to quit or give up), all are prideful, to the point of never asking for help (I'm guilty of not asking for help, but mines more towards being a fear, than pride. And if I need help, will ask), feeling like a slave and scapegoat, and always being invalidated by how I feel. All of my suicidal thoughts and ideation, to my family, are ""childish, and stupid"", and that I should ""grow up, and get over them"", as apparently I'm too old to be having them...

I'm living at my sisters, but have 2 weeks to find somewhere else, or do all the house work + the outside. The annoying thing is, is that she's never home, yet expects the house and the backyards to be immaculate...

I was at the hospital last year, in November, because I felt I was going to kill myself (the thoughts, ideation, and some sharp stabbing sensations kept happening), and today she said that she won't ""fall for it"" again, if I admit myself to hospital...

Funny thing is, is I feel safer around my friends, and away from my family...

I really have no idea what to do, and just completely worn out on what to do...",9.65666920925502,6.6344523340961095,9.29663996948894,71.65163679125352,61.12814645308924,12.914772438342233,38.69425375031783,11.095144083064902,4.014770760233919,1758,63,346,35,18,571,215,437,0.187,0.76,0.053,-0.9946,2,0,0,0,0,1,102.0,0,0,2,6,9,22,4,2,22,0,47,3,0,1,12,76,81,35,2,5,12,2,6,1,7,4,3,4,2,3,19,26,0,1,14,0,0,5,17,9,1,1,20,10,35,13,55,53,13,45,0,3,0,0,35,24,0,10,16,240,54,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790793791679522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257134114705623,0.0,0.0,0.04611721224497565,0.0,0.10375812391237507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06037062664383519,0.19019644431624244,0.0,0.06371537367160024,0.0,0.0,0.08268002038439666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116871847921248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110379613104888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449270248534443,0.0,0.0,0.0584098299587781,0.06883182253704379,0.0,0.0,0.07772302265386133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056651574314694926,0.07628388335691857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134346349825435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835853920045715,0.07631186511534542,0.13715924900282653,0.04844777102589255,0.06511400447861182,0.0,0.061982604461897815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667613671900899,0.0,0.03543106617239538,0.06505529616195811,0.07708280249832042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996947359253706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208524730865218,0.0,0.0,0.1818225677547904,0.21495401346352885,0.06802498731345469,0.0,0.0,0.15650114055550218,0.07259844120660322,0.2296680617664865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502836718129356,0.0,0.03726990550151209,0.05527909935425202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04790045335306864,0.03313147692025367,0.06796945782913072,0.059882779192370963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402918581394713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834258748775073,0.07194206963325422,0.06847483783200717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05028471205047752,0.261519437812866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116149451377743,0.0,0.045953883403266935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530165351500702,0.0,0.0,0.04701508243565231,0.059214324062969635,0.0,0.0,0.06410804943109062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585465730036102,0.06817382086141585,0.0,0.07213067417085439,0.0,0.0,0.04344467247285605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935256653869125,0.05393001301120735,0.06789565651275889,0.20590026764129948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609810418412485,0.0,0.0,0.0691298818259001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417970785147053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010788721664104,0.04345376085619542,0.0,0.107676673484357,0.0,0.0,0.0642816478713458,0.12960220730958313,0.0,0.0,0.073764344918382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05382919208657979,0.05439791254654981,0.0,0.060974737279318576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04937086289509096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043671286943129384
mentalhealth,tiny_goblins,2019/02/04,"17F Concerned about my headspace. I'm a 17 year old female from the United States just trying to vent or figure out whether what I'm going through mentally might be cause for concern. Sorry for any formatting errors, I'm on mobile!

I have been seeing therapists/ counselors pretty consistently since I was 13. As of right now I have not gone to an appointment in almost 5 months.

I have had terrible social anxiety and self image problems for as long as I can remember. I started to get hormonal and angry in middle school and then when I hit high school (14) it got really fucking bad. Terrible depression, anger, unstable emotionally, started to get manipulative and mean and toxic to those around me. I then got into a lot of trouble at school and home, and attempted suicide which landed me in the hospital. Following that I was diagnosed bipolar (just turned 15) by a psychiatrist who I began seeing every week. We were trying a shit ton of new medicines off and on for two years with no real positive outcome from any. I was on multiple antidepressants, mood stabilizers, Vyanse at one point, stuff like that. I had two other hospitalizations, most recently at 16, which led to another (new?) diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. 

I feel like this might sound far fetched and like I'm throwing terms into the mix to get some weird story but this always was weird to me too. My doctors at the hospital said they couldn't formerly diagnose me til 18 but my psychiatrist said he was very sure about the new diagnosis as well as the previous one of bipolar. I was always uncomfortable with my treatment because I felt like I was becoming really complacent and just trying different medicines and terms with this doctor on the off chance they would work. I also bounced around with therapists a lot. Looking back, I have no idea what was even wrong. I 100% don't see myself as bipolar anymore.

After years of constant medication and no end in sight I was just really numb and felt the worst I have ever felt in my entire life. 

I don't feel like that anymore- I've been off all medication and therapy since October. My issues now are just weird. I don't feel depressed and low the way I used to but the way I'm taking care of myself and my mind the past few months is absolutely terrible. Self care is at an all time low and I still don't feel very interested in anything. I picked back up smoking weed from October to December and smoked every day like high to high, barely ever sober. I drank heavily a couple times too. Eventually I felt the urge to try bigger stuff and knew I could find harder things where I live. it was really frightening so I just quit smoking cold turkey and everything, gave my cigarettes away gradually which I had also taken up, etc.

This brings me to my current situation. Being off all medication, drugs, alcohol, therapy, has made me feel really really clear headed and introspective. Which is a good thing. But also, I think I've just been constantly dissociating 24/7 and I don't know how to deal with that. I've read vaguely on depersonalization and dissociation and stuff and I don't know if that's what's going on. Basically when I do literally anything I feel immediately taken out of the situation and I'm not connected to it. I'm not floating above myself but I feel like I can't ""stay in my head"" or just enjoy a situation for myself. I used to cope with productivity issues when I was younger by pretending I was in a movie or that someone was watching me in order to feel? validated idk? Lmao this all sounds very strange to put into writing. It's come to the point where I can no longer choose to just pretend to be witnessed as happy from afar or just act like I'm in my own show- my brain literally automatically does this to itself and I feel really confused and rushed and awkward when I realize I'm a person, I'm me, but I'm painfully aware of that. I don't like functioning and I don't even know how to function without feeling detached from my person and emotions. I feel like I'm seeing myself from the outside in and the inside out at the same time, it's really fucking weird. Im probably going back to therapy soon haha, but I just want to know if anyone has any thoughts on what could be going on or a good baseline on how to describe better whats happening when I go back to counseling. I literally do not have any connection with myself looking in the mirror and feel like I have no personality traits or anything, and I block out 70% of my life because of insecurity and weird shit that I think about on the daily. So I can't remember if this is even vaguely new for me- its just happening everyday dozens of times. I don't even feel sad- I'm more happy right now in my personal life then I ever have been. I just feel disconnected and really strange.

I'm so sorry, this was a rant. I would really appreciate any insights or support anyone might have. if anyone else is feeling similar stuff I would love to talk about it!! 

thank you",4.956583955141512,6.531137809822361,6.263207794310273,74.1658558876772,69.54336468129571,9.69666946296378,29.884306886249576,10.009827739516519,3.118615359029832,3992,157,723,103,71,1346,393,957,0.127,0.75,0.123,0.9239,2,0,4,0,0,1,92.0,1,1,2,4,54,55,5,3,33,1,67,26,5,10,9,168,154,80,1,12,37,0,19,11,0,6,17,4,1,7,42,54,2,1,36,4,0,14,22,28,1,5,39,32,94,26,121,101,17,131,0,5,8,3,21,60,4,20,63,492,136,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479885515123155,0.041976003714339766,0.0,0.0,0.10056825968002804,0.0697602319324833,0.0,0.0,0.1425323998839406,0.04395591539540236,0.032068058082364494,0.0,0.0831451253923061,0.08793259630605837,0.04295115385050665,0.1034877405710762,0.07463391544427678,0.0,0.0,0.03938444965265493,0.12893304809705966,0.03500076446588052,0.05110708628804892,0.04629644106083133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707410832294111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679566856059386,0.0,0.0,0.0854787958742046,0.043062545190985686,0.0,0.03610966192749275,0.0,0.09059948337656168,0.0,0.06693810872147248,0.046382775528317495,0.0,0.02703440331410077,0.04321683407697947,0.07220985688912322,0.08509417093535801,0.0,0.04379662122151059,0.048043012167526065,0.08581211431715566,0.03668375704387653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861294052338036,0.0,0.035018096069571465,0.09430687101875093,0.037127951347361486,0.0,0.04675096671004522,0.1107488925783281,0.1137548951114452,0.07063743448359826,0.0,0.0376742561608904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179339552682155,0.1497353534005176,0.16099594702455286,0.0,0.038313371233638864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775072131571976,0.06570312444523457,0.0,0.11911818055592036,0.07031963894754173,0.0670531955232868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413798514546721,0.08924749352250995,0.0,0.0,0.08604234504997163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286974607611746,0.04204835557863816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047321651977256886,0.04527990793713347,0.0875054662782561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921507405323607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882626992726056,0.22527553405717365,0.0,0.037015404073730086,0.037097155319391034,0.0704031074333787,0.0,0.0,0.07127637585105122,0.037833696725875415,0.039664941828052025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0456622762198798,0.0,0.12668749166066126,0.04224467410199341,0.1334088771408221,0.04232642214371031,0.0,0.06691897933823235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194322164281408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04398712800980984,0.0,0.05681104270276459,0.0,0.044604963209142943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040016600714086,0.0,0.1830110560752715,0.0,0.0,0.07925434944985985,0.0,0.0,0.04264687643710277,0.04519596618378136,0.040110994101435836,0.0,0.04214035421316732,0.0,0.04458620803098751,0.04193052408261575,0.04771320429528225,0.2685450021061313,0.0,0.04139013323759275,0.0,0.09497251892446404,0.07159750162336374,0.07974947945019745,0.0,0.0,0.1272733448317116,0.1336166371627347,0.0,0.08746169427475561,0.0,0.08605887207298167,0.06935195801366996,0.14135674452424635,0.0,0.04273132516336018,0.0355179853142569,0.0,0.0,0.09385018042416347,0.0593412229441088,0.04468026852310741,0.033476711422698306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19194972881573014,0.04585277933364928,0.04756938887755418,0.03950833120497752,0.0,0.031518006571824485,0.0336930491399802,0.0,0.03859354906921507,0.14381470740737004,0.0973427981659178,0.0556984812752143,0.05372023604476347,0.0,0.033279146626901616,0.09777364421896337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384148671775858,0.04559603061535532,0.08189789583682221,0.0,0.0,0.07240942507935393,0.0,0.1037631412839838,0.02472501854518407,0.0665469880630066,0.03362503779608311,0.0,0.037690377252414704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040408593782043166,0.0,0.03051766240941836,0.0,0.0,0.08933454859077535,0.045832042918678005,0.0,0.08098373294065597
mentalhealth,rheomet,2019/02/04,"How can I help a friend who is in a serious manic psychosis, but blind to it? Hello folks. I come to you today with a very heavy heart, disturbed and extremely worried. 

I have a friend who I have known for quite some time. They recently went through a breakup and quit taking their medication (an SSRI). Bipolar runs in their family, but they were not diagnosed with it (as far as I’m aware). 

Basically, since I began talking to this person again, they have been exhibiting frightening behaviors. Staying up all night, not eating or sleeping barely at all, sending 40+ videos at a time, uploading long rambling videos to Facebook in which they slip into various different accents, referring to themselves as a warrior and calling me by very, very absurd mythological names.

They have told me everyone around them is saying they are manic, and that they are very angered by this because they are just hurting, not manic. But it’s EXTREMELY clear something deeper is going on. The eyes don’t look right. The speech is disorganized, they are hypersexual, overconfident, and insisting they are in love with me and going to marry me.

This person flips at the drop of a coin if you say the wrong thing to them, and as much as they say they “love me”, has lashed out and said incredibly, deeply wounding things to me within an hour of the previous confession. It makes very little sense.

How can I help this person without sending them off the deep end? I don’t know their parents, but they live with them and have been telling them they need help, but not taking any action. I don’t wish to talk to this person anymore, as they are scaring me a lot, but I’m worried that they have no one else. Is there anything I can do to encourage this person to seek help ASAP and disengage without getting hurt in the process or making things worse?


Thank you ",7.193396501457727,7.501927370262398,6.8891705539358625,76.21667128279886,63.92711370262391,9.892069970845482,33.76807580174927,9.642632912329526,3.1263575510204085,1460,57,261,26,20,459,184,343,0.123,0.746,0.13,0.6984,2,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,3,24,2,6,13,1,2,18,0,28,11,3,4,3,50,49,27,0,3,16,1,0,0,2,0,5,5,0,5,18,18,1,0,4,2,1,8,10,7,0,1,7,8,43,6,45,42,6,39,1,2,3,2,58,19,0,5,10,188,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061361179863790714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948637289046246,0.0,0.0,0.0742536418392101,0.0803260366282377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055004881637241335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213744956522166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772729085308866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091584066717047,0.0,0.09427373545901477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233035249015917,0.07537765775227717,0.0,0.07991919389747854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622100042846832,0.0,0.0,0.08506315063337877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942677875233167,0.0,0.047142746023358884,0.0,0.102562394348106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692592196331492,0.24192371438309296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888608157797028,0.0,0.19319146981589488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04958941062691665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043664879270782,0.07967693201505394,0.07985290438671032,0.07577255665566178,0.0,0.0,0.07671242682710705,0.16287667025875432,0.0,0.1204617606810498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089972956572424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633125428250139,0.06690623978175167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846770689432735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06114386294576463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019248953797276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939376007855425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919466965168296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890936871983571,0.0,0.0,0.07705804396906588,0.08583175047518808,0.21526946669230615,0.09033845257425424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464123899281831,0.0,0.09029764372926677,0.0,0.0,0.06946537062661823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961758167069832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568718914272387,0.1450508972080254,0.07886716372669607,0.08307394346641328,0.0,0.0,0.17983934865606047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523056816806724,0.0,0.08552983940186541,0.08622100042846832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722562250608118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836464119520621,0.0,0.0,0.10376289764032033,0.1739617794355386,0.0,0.0,0.18327092464804026,0.0919546047877918,0.0,0.09865505075856246,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,galaxikk,2019/02/04,"What’s the normal baseline? This is something I think about a lot as someone dealing with this shit constantly. I feel like I always have some “baseline” emotion I return based on how i’m feeling. When i’m at my worst it’s insecurity legit all of the time. When I’m feeling good about myself it’s cockiness. Neither is obviously good. I’m wondering for neurotypical people, when they’re not going through a high or a low what emotion are they feeling? just “neutral” if that even exists haha? contentment? it just baffles me ",2.3595104895104875,5.258820040404043,3.947676767676768,80.32356643356644,85.96969696969695,5.874436674436676,28.82750582750582,7.321109707123232,2.205565034965036,420,21,70,7,13,139,69,99,0.127,0.6890000000000001,0.184,0.4606,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,9,8,1,1,5,1,4,1,1,1,2,18,15,7,0,2,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,4,8,4,9,15,5,11,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,5,7,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16996171027471532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073382954903706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21058436386768348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595327923942959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491261906827573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131224704573,0.1459242668640878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608636686696215,0.3426492650710206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215813209152559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979172162798987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365559726855173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20013264121350255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160902123465274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209671222079554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730698812861138,0.1572502777527057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088235147162572,0.0,0.0,0.1191063685634667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22151259580252208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Romantic_Garbage,2019/02/04,"How do I help a loved one overcoming trauma? Hello good people of r/mentalhealth, I'm asking to help my girlfriend overcome her trauma that has been crippling her life.

My girlfriend and I met in highschool and now we are dating in college. For the half year we are together, I began to see a big problem that is worsening my girlfriend's life day by day: dealing with trauma. To elaborate, she has trauma from childhood scholiosis, and she would abuse drugs to ease the emotional pain. She would also react violently when I try to talk to her about the trauma, making me feel helpless.

The trauma comes from a scholiosis that is still lasting. Ever since childhood, she has been suffering from moderate scholiosis. During her childhood years when she was 8-14, she put a pause on school to traveled all over the world for years to find a doctor  who can hopefully cure the illness. As a result, she has underwent numerous painful treatments for years (bracing and exercising that was too painful to let her sleep at night). As those exercise had only successfully stopped the scholiosis from worsening, they did not cure the disease. For years through now, she has dealt with the illness.

The problem began when I see her abusing drugs and harming herself to deal with the trauma. Whenever she feels stressed and anxious because of the trauma, she would do laughing gas to ""ease the pain"". Moreover, she would self-harm to ""distract"". Recently, she had withdrawal symptom from quitting laughing gas, and her painfulness and potential addiction concerned me very much.

She always refused to quit drugs or to talk about the issue. We had some talks and arguments about her drug problem. All the time she would attribute her drug addiction to her experience with scholiosis, which is a subject I dare not talk about: she would cry painfully and make threats to stop me from talking about it.
Moreover, because her trauma comes majorly from seeing doctors to no curing results for her scholiosis, she hates the feeling of going to a psychiatrist or psychologist because that is similar to the very source of her trauma.

I feel helpless and bad. My talks to her had been all bad and unfruitful, so much that they would all end in her crying, and me getting frustrated and feeling helpless. after the third time of that kind of talk, she wouldn't talk to me for two days andI think I really am fucking things up by being unhelpful to her issue and narcissistic to my thinking about her dealing with the issue.

I Really want to help her but I think she needs a professional to help. I really have no idea how I can stop her from going into drug addiction and deeper emotional grief. So, dear friends of r/mentalhealth, what are the things I can do to help her?",8.332002012072438,8.60713918712274,7.61982394366197,72.04691901408455,61.55533199195171,10.721730382293764,38.273138832998,10.371327730470783,4.13147203219316,2204,102,361,45,28,686,222,497,0.17800000000000002,0.7390000000000001,0.083,-0.9884,0,0,6,0,1,0,60.0,3,0,2,3,19,43,5,2,29,0,40,27,1,8,5,74,69,29,1,14,5,0,5,0,4,8,24,0,0,0,14,27,0,4,10,3,0,6,5,34,0,4,13,8,67,9,72,46,8,47,0,5,3,2,70,10,1,4,31,269,81,7,0.0,0.13231183182391293,0.0,0.182606751096074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04465161480118377,0.04645959393054523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307820174817481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219863845570168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324059047953223,0.10211037478548553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619464750313722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266531034056495,0.1080278002524408,0.1726917907145273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429996360548672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38850859532781934,0.0,0.0,0.12561480405145498,0.049453664223505694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05050639013169705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05461781540772462,0.0,0.0,0.1411604868973625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05103261902419908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043138354905256186,0.05161900340951786,0.02917173483261014,0.0,0.06346518232599486,0.046832153224594976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055125978842405186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871267331936615,0.0,0.0,0.05545723216573455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630314628860115,0.0,0.1748332101558457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058144062331741325,0.0,0.04551337011145687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05709556333841311,0.07887650440878957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050393702488741095,0.0,0.07454123564027702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820910075999726,0.041401302431411255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239781747953052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037835567652582336,0.04246540012185823,0.3564773374015221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03870929289208663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028104664905454,0.0,0.05613008129697599,0.0,0.11877581611410533,0.0,0.0,0.10730891859995688,0.0,0.05513080245521107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056508488721639924,0.13348095038489366,0.0,0.0582485850163943,0.0,0.0,0.04618768771757766,0.0,0.0558758057406006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459028806939468,0.1400428893564455,0.06395935600922363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803444484638184,0.0,0.3590275635185177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418922646642112,0.10733136702763414,0.0,0.0,0.06511623716961079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037908627156483306,0.0,0.054543152723853086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214024046780568,0.03293321394476505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27764747101749554,0.0,0.0,0.1797810989239095
mentalhealth,disposablesink,2019/02/04,"Had a flashback that made me feel worse A few years ago, I was sexually assaulted at a party. When it happened, I didnt realize what was happening because I was extremely intoxicated, but once I sobered up, its always felt icky. Fastforward to Friday. Ive been seeing this guy for a bit and we decided it was time for me to meet his friends. He took me to his apartment and his friends were great, but he was very touchy (like hand on my thigh, poking my stomach, playing with my hair, laying on me, at one point, nibbling my arm) and during the entire time he was touching me, I felt totally helpless and kept having flashbacks to my sexual assault. I went home and sat with my friend because all I wanted to do was cry. Ive felt incredibly shitty since this happened and Im trying to find a way to end things with him. 
I guess what Im trying to ask is one, what should I do, and two, has anyone had flashbacks that felt more shitty than the actual thing that happened? ",6.813749999999999,5.9326020416666685,7.2625833333333345,77.19075000000002,65.04166666666666,10.18,33.78333333333333,9.3871,2.8813858333333338,760,28,150,12,10,250,115,192,0.134,0.741,0.126,-0.4065,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,7,0,20,6,5,1,2,28,38,10,0,2,2,0,8,1,3,1,1,0,1,1,13,11,0,1,8,1,0,2,1,3,0,3,21,9,27,6,19,16,5,16,0,1,1,0,14,7,0,1,7,101,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.11772019279835826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693368181844533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037613750836988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434924534871928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127753660355272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470732472869721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169975326945468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325094454835124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684483828705528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099555869877067,0.0,0.4633055501440184,0.0,0.11025617641521096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796017621459251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299806695777158,0.1328906085656013,0.11944541907947567,0.42670067947923424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100451516982133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606082084052065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893508341459796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114145654190124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846997476991512,0.1634877888549926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403697003494667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612870810287162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978868305358032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028611891368907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068388944457086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340274583810554,0.1638034795526263,0.0,0.11784069843860658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953467803740436,0.07115233973964928,0.09575268658861548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118277965838248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293510981736352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776835558828588
mentalhealth,TurbulentReflection,2019/02/04,"Biological causes for mental health issues? Is there a reason to check? How to get them checked? I've been psychiatric and psychological treatment for years now but I'm not getting any better. It feels like the opposite, actually. I know that biological illnesses can cause even severe mental health issues, but I don't know if that's the case for me.

I've had a thyroid check, a MRI and a blood test for which I don't know what they actually tested. Those were all done almost 10 years ago.

First off, is that enough?

What can I do to get these things checked? The doctors I asked refused and stated that I've already been diagnosed (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD) and that was that. I feel like that's not enough and that it's honestly not right to basically leave me in this condition that could end up being fatal. 

Are there specific things I should ask for or I should know about?

Thank you.",3.5536764705882367,5.971535588235298,4.379632352941177,82.58709558823529,75.47058823529412,7.779411764705883,24.15441176470589,8.660442795831766,1.7476176470588238,710,23,136,15,16,228,102,170,0.13,0.7909999999999999,0.079,-0.8368,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,2,2,6,7,0,0,7,0,18,8,1,4,1,28,31,10,1,4,7,0,2,2,0,2,7,0,0,0,19,5,0,1,7,0,4,0,5,2,0,1,6,2,13,5,13,21,3,11,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,3,8,91,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.24958205576789685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335662771463778,0.0,0.12805190584900894,0.0,0.14111717089349693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696180596218403,0.0,0.09782674840293756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390983825802608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130981944044238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627330138400492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021006246097758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014161637042176,0.12979404660657948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088912486791793,0.0,0.130864165397079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326244781788893,0.2642654732069231,0.0,0.08446258284752688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931848454263584,0.18271293767168226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877343783361168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004338088662004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718578588788837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26694398555403603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811148491140233,0.0,0.0,0.13540493086394942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495001006890108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577430223012173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948319343621322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148045785359125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920759154792067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446637364745835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177333970480369,0.0,0.0,0.16991366612038886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469919999039104
mentalhealth,helerhephep,2019/02/04,"I feel my issues aren't special and not worthy of inspection by a therapist I'm sorry for a post that might sound silly but I'm having a rough day and would like a mind dump.

I'm stuck on thoughts like this: who am I to judge that what I feel is worthy of treatment? Maybe everybody has their own way of being and I'm just making a fuss about mine or possess a bad attitude that prevents me from causing the issues around me? I'm worried that if I go to a doctor I might figure out that there's nothing wrong with me except that I've simply ended up like this because I'm some kind of commited contrarian or edgelord. Are we even sure about chemical imbalances as I've heard people talk about? Sure, in extreme cases this seems legitimate, but what about things in the middle? Humans have got by without the the idea of psychiatry/psychology/etc for most of our history (I think) and why do I think now, I somehow am entitled to have someone listen to me? I don't want to complain. Materially, I'm fine. Financially I am secure. My life is more than ok. However I feel uneasy, anxious, and like an outsider. Every time I join a group of people I feel like I start to feel a sense of expulsion even when I try hard to be 'normal'. When I'm not trying, and am more myself, I tend to spend a lot of time in my head thinking about tangential ideas so I find it hard to stay focused with people and especially groups. I've always considered this to be me thinking critically, but I find it hard to turn that mode off. If talking about topics I enjoy I am extremely engrossed by them. I try to suppress this when talking to people normally as to not seem strange. I've always been this way though. But maybe that's nothing special. I find it hard to know what's normal and what's not. I feel like I need to find enough people who don't feel my way or do what I do in order to legitimise that I am somehow different. I'm so confused.

These are questions I want to ask and not feel like I'm disparaging other people. I don't doubt other's suffering, but I doubt my own. I'm sorry if that was a mess to read.",3.4434047202797204,4.675560673659677,4.98668924825175,83.18849541083918,72.79953379953379,7.879982517482518,26.69296328671329,8.376592526197632,1.7465249999999997,1655,57,336,27,32,558,199,429,0.117,0.7190000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9744,2,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,2,0,2,0,20,26,1,3,16,1,29,3,1,2,3,82,69,28,0,10,19,0,13,7,0,3,2,3,0,1,30,14,0,3,24,1,1,1,10,9,0,0,6,16,45,17,56,57,8,26,0,1,0,0,17,10,0,19,16,222,75,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123880451585689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409625931577087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626757747733314,0.06959155641477803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06215447379925685,0.045378066795418816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647061078941783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800778320435886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777418544277716,0.0,0.07619271882166741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593193932918884,0.07691664572839263,0.0830205219746572,0.09833412565554994,0.0,0.06271909539486513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30111369271187743,0.15954032276341834,0.0,0.0,0.2721480476032225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04230609214033258,0.0,0.05953664366918749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667352600053548,0.0,0.07639714107170917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806789353559173,0.0,0.15539249768060165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751803329846747,0.04091039778276912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257932839592282,0.2545741174251849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328641249620055,0.0,0.0,0.04968942446353192,0.0,0.14957041159419338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793861811067358,0.07516340103691346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05519647943012833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21880682946611013,0.1428547962879734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096448512574064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129315297391436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339008213268623,0.0,0.07446036394498178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553515986052125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307295629983703,0.0,0.0,0.16665946213590652,0.05268917040784815,0.07934336925613139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031805157432642,0.0,0.0,0.17949668573920013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643083216150657,0.04945477403005651,0.1907931472176287,0.07313713757191245,0.059097219122163765,0.08681338108756848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516200676923422,0.08096958262139832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781354012143701,0.17726154367343822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671707195409474,0.0,0.0,0.07175771506188534,0.0,0.0,0.0755976561788129,0.0,0.05288019604225616,0.0813886940535921,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rubbermaderevolution,2019/02/04,"When I recall my life, truth be told there isn't anything I have felt was worth being alive for. I am 26. All my time in this place, life or whatever your definition of existence is, I so badly wish it was all a dream or a different reality like waking up as Neo in the matrix. I think about my family members and although I love them, to be honest I'm not sure I would shed a tear aside from an automatic response of pretence, if they died. Nothing in life ever drove me to actually be interested in anything beyond an initial radiance. Physically I feel sick and so exhausted and for no reason I can pinpoint why. Nothing seems worth the pay off, food sucks, drugs suck and sex is barely ever worth the effort. From an early age perhaps around 13/14 I felt there was something totally missing in my foundation as a person. The more I thought about life I became scarred I might not have what it takes to make a living for myself. I grew up in a good environment, never had any catastrophic circumstances. If I where to find out I have cancer tomorrow I would feel relieved. I am amazed at what makes people tick and actually care about anything. Life is like a huge list of tasks that I have no desire to take part in. Wake up and feel like crap, eat breakfast that takes to much effort to make, go to a job I don't actually care about, ( I live at home, and go to college currently) eat again at lunch, go back to useless shit after. Drive home and then make more crap food. Talk and pretend I care about what people have to say all day. I wish I could see the colors that other people do. I feel I could possibly be happy, but when I imagine that, I can only picture myself pretending to or acting the part of a happy camper. If I won the lottery, all I would buy is the best bed in the world to die in comfort in. Where does it all end ? I never asked to be part of a world that just doesn't seem worth the trouble.",4.079548611111111,5.08700834375,5.229062500000001,82.90413194444444,71.03125,8.084722222222222,26.722222222222214,8.401726058763845,1.6944399305555553,1500,48,304,23,27,497,198,384,0.102,0.723,0.175,0.9749,3,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,2,4,20,29,5,0,23,0,33,22,5,5,12,59,68,24,2,11,10,0,6,3,0,4,9,1,3,1,13,11,6,0,13,3,6,7,9,10,0,0,10,9,41,19,52,46,13,50,0,2,2,2,9,26,5,9,20,212,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.235058932381607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460101209214347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19821933044384926,0.07147650855130444,0.0750617672553502,0.0,0.0,0.06173925125056483,0.06704009633570804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426103550283856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455877806177584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821254980279528,0.0,0.0,0.05178141192665822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665991958085116,0.08388758790485236,0.0,0.0,0.07026368262826234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311271526730286,0.16431661529252778,0.0,0.0,0.07111448772786047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525662021589594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569173419805247,0.0,0.1623912948937749,0.0573603043820229,0.15418497228404818,0.0,0.07338502851709862,0.0,0.19417773892727494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689462653173398,0.0673447486258613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094371093814412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610779565399468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967698115730877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28356150615272685,0.11767919723836495,0.0,0.14179783172605034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724662650071875,0.0,0.21438095115469527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517665363450279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902353287869391,0.0,0.12385159719108164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540838288824543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06106534719401417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260843795710482,0.0,0.16699216797488767,0.07010749060493247,0.08388758790485236,0.0,0.0,0.09051666651811488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255309316214432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385106881379624,0.0,0.0,0.06398197556638519,0.14618883595204007,0.0,0.0,0.08241812946598913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061812363288786615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567384228497938,0.0,0.181107775426822,0.06453531214696549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051447587710957685,0.0,0.06374252762428946,0.046818652589161736,0.0,0.0,0.07672202355694199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245064166270493,0.0,0.18466265614029456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111045530079122,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wholemealbaby,2019/02/04,"Peripheral vision causing frustration and annoyance Ever since I was a kid I've had this massive issue with objects in my peripheral vision where any visual stimuli engages the automatic reflex you get when something is about to touch your eye. I can just be sitting at my desk and be physically recoiling in discomfort away from objects that are up to a meter away from me. The phenomena is usually triggered by some level of visual concentration whether it is looking at code or small text, video games or even visually linear images like mazes or spirals. Once triggered however, it can last for hours even days and I have never been able to find any form of information about it even after seeing doctors and an optometrist. I don't know if this exactly fits into r/mentalhealth but I don't know where else to ask. If anyone has any information or ideas as to what this could be please let me know!",8.464604125083168,8.342223311377246,8.534091816367269,66.92685961410515,61.395209580838326,11.494078509647375,37.71723220226214,10.980518767755715,4.332818230206255,731,32,120,17,9,239,117,167,0.034,0.907,0.058,0.4389,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,10,5,2,1,5,0,18,2,1,3,3,30,25,14,0,3,9,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,7,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,4,11,2,24,17,2,23,0,0,3,0,7,14,0,7,9,89,19,2,0.1701836350882268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3471921231165204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899635462029635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909872570544675,0.0,0.319786254536167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748254724754221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358777846495275,0.0,0.0,0.10975436569104942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419016181087316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216658962912593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372140578070554,0.153940841134285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554475933413447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891392526309293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675965996791764,0.0,0.0,0.1921166091913496,0.0,0.17762749993561247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805854254738007,0.13872237670410356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402429717175733,0.0,0.08314312779665822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291139163036315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125611086835212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812400171759624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681052614040627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356143234158046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14077766157414115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101567671106396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874332306868173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrookedRook64,2019/02/04,"Do you have Hallucinations? Do you know people who do? Short disclaimer, I am not a mental health professional, nor am I suffering from any mental health issues, this thread is being made out of my own curiosity.

​

So I would like to ask Mental health professionals if they have had any patients who have Recurring hallucinations, and if so, of what?

Same goes to any who have had recurring Hallucinations, what do you see/hear/feel?

​

I am trying to see if there are any Hallucinations that are More common than others.

Describe the traits of what you see/hear/feel. Do you see some kind of monster? a person? 

​

​",4.700014492753624,7.750109139130437,4.9753260869565255,76.46096014492755,75.0,7.3115942028985526,25.23550724637681,8.344100000000001,1.9662028985507247,521,18,87,10,12,164,65,115,0.0,0.942,0.058,0.7424,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,5,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,19,3,0,1,0,11,24,7,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,11,2,10,19,4,5,0,1,2,0,11,2,0,4,4,65,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40293025468764654,0.4518731436550312,0.2528901669692422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691406132810166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401648455420143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964671324515649,0.20956707716857567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703614755245436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681357117493802,0.051093681547458025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542026893230832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879701191614079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28107458451324124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445344085450516,0.08117750168694697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296339057904264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312028135252709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604296323630872,0.0,0.4518731436550312,0.0
mentalhealth,Alyndriel,2019/02/04,"I’m just so tired of fighting my brain. I’ve been in and out of hospitals for the last 10 years, trying to get a handle on my brain. Done months of intensive outpatient therapy, years of “ every couple of weeks” sessions. I’m tired of being overwhelmed, exhausted, crying most nights, taking five different bloody medications just to get to a baseline level of functioning that is embarrassingly low. Fold in financial struggles and physical health issues on top of the mental health ones...and I’m just tired of having to fight so hard. Tired of burdening my family with my nonsense. Tired of telling myself it will get better when it hasn’t for a long time. 

Just. So. Tired. And I’m feeling more and more hopeless.  I’ve got a husband and kids and a dog, all of whom I adore, and I feel awful that I can’t just look at them and go “ They’re amazing, life is wonderful, bugger off brain!” But it doesn’t work like that. 

Thanks for letting me vent. ",3.2028862314156403,5.504169818681325,4.080898513251459,84.87292501616032,76.08791208791209,7.359276018099548,24.44214608920491,8.313332769828598,1.6337597931480277,745,25,142,14,17,239,111,182,0.26,0.629,0.111,-0.9846,1,0,0,0,3,1,26.0,0,0,1,3,9,14,2,3,7,1,11,14,3,0,1,21,26,13,0,0,6,1,3,1,0,1,11,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,9,0,1,3,4,10,5,27,20,4,20,0,3,1,0,7,10,0,2,10,85,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149033956546476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464427170715593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446198101677907,0.11363151625156052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807994928624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586205192911187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715843966689081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975204913841594,0.0,0.10461167948083776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214014140663294,0.0,0.05879123345355181,0.0,0.08273590255950812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266806592092727,0.0,0.0,0.2199183457644696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797164363192516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432299630799565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578142125704763,0.07306757523956367,0.050538909617927785,0.0,0.0,0.0915472142315471,0.08686930713796773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421182648339583,0.10425010211323567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257029528125819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970778687461176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814511692024076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777916325228063,0.0,0.09041711367888533,0.0952399685144687,0.11830049784426334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032069491884856,0.7133816751769843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702336262933135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297882983639028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218370497935397,0.0753105448217671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323277009532766
mentalhealth,muchoquestions1,2019/02/04,"Am I suffering from learning disability or some memory problems? I've always wanted to talk about my symptoms that I had since I was a child. I'm a 25 year old adult turning 26 years old in few days. I have problems such as not being able to distinguish where to put an ""s"" after a word, not being able to use correct prepositions in sentences, lacking very basic general knowledge, lacking memory, not being able to understand sentences well when reading out loud, etc.

**Here I will list out few of the example problems that I can think of for now:**

1. Not being able to distinguish where to put an ""S"" after a word

* I would use ""head phone"" or ""head phones"" or ""ear phone"" or ""ear phones"" interchangeably.
* I would say ""fishes"" when there are a lot of fish instead of ""fish""
* I would sometimes say ""feets"" instead of ""feet""
* Any ""question"" or ""questions""?

1. Not being able to use correct prepositions

* I would say ""holes on a tree"" instead of ""holes in a tree""
* Can't distinguish difference between ""turn onto something street"" or ""turn into something street""
* ""Drive on left or right lane"" or ""Drive in left or right lane""
* ""get in the plane"" vs ""get on the plane""

1. Lacking very basic general knowledge

* If I was asked what did George Washington do, I would just be like he did something with the 13 colonies, and I wouldn't be able to elaborate further on it......
* I didn't know tourist attractions like the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls were owned by the government. I thought they were owned by some rich people.
* I wasn't able to distinguish between the word mammal and animal a few days ago and had to google ""mammal""...
* Right now I can't distinguish difference between ""reptiles"" and ""amphibians"" and I will have to google them to see the differences.

1. Lacking memory or attention

* Even though I played blackjack or Texas Hold 'Em Poker numerous times in the past, if I stop playing those card games for few months, The rules become very blurry in my mind and I will have to google the rules again.
* In middle or high school, I always had to go up to my teacher after he or she had read the instructions for something to assure I have everything right.
* I have hard time understanding some movies or shows without English subtitles.
* If I talk I sometimes get lost in my words and stutter and make up weird words to fit the sentence because I can't think of a word at the moment.

There are soooooo many more problems to list. These are just a very few I can think of as of now. Is this like a mild learning problem? Does anyone else experience these kinds of problems in their daily life? Am I really lacking mentally compared to normal people?",3.037165991902836,5.699182453441296,3.5457692307692312,86.56173076923076,78.7165991902834,6.714979757085023,26.09919028340081,7.882392219407189,1.7478129554655868,2068,82,382,36,52,646,227,494,0.07,0.87,0.06,-0.7082,0,0,4,0,0,0,108.0,0,0,3,1,21,21,0,0,27,0,45,8,6,4,3,99,68,31,0,22,27,0,1,3,0,9,2,6,0,2,8,12,0,2,19,8,1,6,12,10,1,0,14,8,37,11,68,38,18,63,0,2,1,0,21,35,0,24,25,254,45,7,0.4473579836528085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056650837210290926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635362271429012,0.0,0.0,0.04345982420611865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04468615768017944,0.06548158865327905,0.0,0.0,0.059745617975229925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038957896372581166,0.07058167797325368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243111155813146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031166183885407,0.0,0.0,0.05592656945526076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338717023132168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127462935932773,0.042210818438435986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743664427111981,0.06251456418275797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016832104517033,0.0,0.03632055021123857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057249269041421476,0.0,0.1311766725740543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752261019812182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655064266759095,0.03512232119908412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388730737687345,0.0,0.04514031054304568,0.09366707738064807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976344069771367,0.0543325371469618,0.0,0.0,0.042659275411417605,0.0647929685445645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440451825733506,0.0,0.06452914800906533,0.0,0.05101098207250748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626165486980326,0.0,0.0,0.13412198575165962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061007687858224614,0.08861191378332868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669095771488813,0.0,0.12849095276435965,0.14318380696439,0.0,0.12785115573615105,0.0,0.04094128279769186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21830929926685916,0.0,0.15246729610088988,0.0,0.06467859467993291,0.05092662761969912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05286559242106422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19679887528545995,0.12641385278475722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343018652832096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642517647541718,0.0,0.1027341147545388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122849542457592,0.0627895639397628,0.050736038378378166,0.07453086795015977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20854158177232265,0.0,0.13306155368835226,0.0,0.16558871284935514,0.0,0.21092410721812715,0.03769476134344505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05746122183398369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061605304604918976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269930544709731,0.0,0.0,0.08230967836136469
mentalhealth,throwaway1027363,2019/02/04,"I don’t want to lose my sister My little sister has been really emotional lately. She’s in 8th grade and she’s been yelling at my mom daily. She won’t talk to anyone about what’s happening. Today everything went off the rails. She was yelling at my mom telling her that she wanted to go somewhere else and that she needed to be put away. She said that she didn’t want to go to school or see any people or have to worry about anything. I don’t know what she was talking about, but she eventually ran out of the house and called 911. I don’t know what she told them but my mom got her phone. She’s taking her to the hospital now but i’m so scared and i don’t know what to do. I want to understand what’s wrong but she won’t tell anyone and won’t talk to a therapist. I have no idea what’s going on and I’m worried about her. Sorry this post is kind of a mess but I’m really scared and emotional right now. Any advice or something would be appreciated",0.8048111658456492,2.862030334975368,2.653891625615767,93.25288998357964,83.08866995073893,6.034154351395731,18.041050903119867,7.2636822038024595,0.12141444991789818,750,17,171,11,21,249,99,203,0.142,0.799,0.059,-0.9634,0,0,1,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,7,6,0,2,5,0,20,0,0,0,0,27,43,16,0,6,8,5,0,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,10,8,0,0,5,0,0,6,9,5,0,0,10,4,29,1,24,27,0,20,0,1,1,0,32,9,0,3,4,107,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910387648975622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518527549800404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613768065477787,0.0,0.09187910096916994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489960858019266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140079573467404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326992260444103,0.2511842603752827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034454612623757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903611799880784,0.0,0.08929734992462635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873243997659102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883004085671226,0.0,0.12604017102084147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626713429438025,0.18408109096621406,0.0,0.1259469735635474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190344042291564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124908693962496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922922275405202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278765873445608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740461148803858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693061005782473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122398992845628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305273200739627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534917920459343,0.10620548531945644,0.0,0.22356387107428036,0.11299657752645055,0.08897123777142614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595424606222604,0.0,0.12498393755023005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394751181674706,0.26922206844285795,0.1951754532091042,0.0,0.0,0.12963519251585032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583191013442256,0.1066871308640228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623242775712897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634181551756658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350141675332612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267736285166098,0.0,0.07931352993806799,0.12207263031478767,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mooodylesbian,2019/02/04,i don't feel like i exist? hi there! i'm pretty new to reddit so i'm not very sure if this is the right place to put this. and if you have ideas about putting this somewhere else please send me suggestions...  i guess i'm just trying to seek people who have maybe felt the same way and could possibly help me articulate the way i'm feeling. so i guess i've just became a bit aware of my existence recently and when i say that i guess i dont even quite understand what i mean. i think my life until the past couple months has been foggy and i think i was just floating through just going with what i thought i was supposed to do. maybe i've just never had a sense of self... i've never known what things i like or how i prefer certain stuff. i feel wishy-washy because i will change what i believe because i just dont know. i don't know a lot of the things people around me know/care about ... and i really wish i could provide examples but i literally can't think of any. i'm trying to come up with ideas but it's hard to explain something that feels so empty? if anyone has ever felt like this i would love to chat.... i don't know what this is. if this is normal? thank you in advance.,1.6788181818181798,3.3509640600000026,3.0490181818181803,93.44250909090911,78.4,5.985454545454545,20.563636363636363,6.7829847944221076,0.16803999999999994,925,23,210,9,22,301,132,250,0.054000000000000006,0.856,0.09,0.8506,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,2,17,7,0,0,8,0,22,2,0,1,5,59,51,18,0,10,14,0,7,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,18,9,0,0,20,1,0,6,9,0,0,0,7,8,32,7,20,40,3,22,0,0,0,1,12,5,0,9,12,131,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871604722702157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065505159390477,0.0,0.0,0.08995406768184751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319574208617275,0.0,0.0,0.1138463971645518,0.0,0.0,0.11031815191336664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689529551118934,0.0870438313106994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135707544171046,0.1118075958981772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368548074439385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441256673136865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674119479982699,0.0914036241484732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043714477370187,0.07218865060998697,0.19404368950685036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05742785869979423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33394701158487106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905190839361225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773028737300632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281415927029687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22213316563752655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137313065066747,0.1481007213093955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590732375831596,0.09119968839032327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030324246023324,0.11007080256045346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065548163670834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558687627870731,0.09759270590024513,0.0,0.0,0.09900550211892772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646166860212332,0.1401078021745589,0.0,0.1055735641402186,0.11092026646405873,0.0,0.113916341345371,0.0,0.10280205685595474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20316212823423385,0.0,0.10747689575233027,0.0,0.0,0.06473388177821843,0.0,0.09977262547333272,0.0,0.0,0.08629436722622236,0.0,0.08035735771161573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054150129941191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779162166075029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567568708286592,0.0,0.0,0.0952364639602176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303134384385553,0.0,0.0,0.1342634893153245,0.1942422712364627,0.0,0.08022075728575477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372098025442223,0.0,0.0,0.10519444307902176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337511240368535,0.0,0.16041426294221944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620011529263932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178153955366087,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NevermoreMoth,2019/02/04,"I have no idea as to why I feel like this. Hey. So, to begin: I’ve been feeling horrible lately. Like: I’ve been way over analyzing my own decisions, it feels as if I have a heavy weight on my chest, I constantly feel like crying, and I just want to go to sleep and just not wake up. To sum up: I feel like I’m falling apart, piece by piece. I have anxiety, but this is nothing like I’ve felt before. I’m not asking for a full psychological work up, I’m just wondering if anybody has experienced this feeling of...idk...hopelessness I guess.",1.7718918918918902,3.569873621621621,3.940801801801804,86.57931081081081,78.54954954954955,7.683243243243242,23.71261261261261,8.548686976883017,1.475424504504505,416,14,92,9,10,143,67,111,0.083,0.777,0.14,0.5927,0,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,0,7,4,3,0,0,22,23,8,0,3,8,0,8,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,10,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,9,10,5,14,20,4,13,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,4,8,53,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709363784463998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531479754254182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413695579902524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953406937828514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249267035198768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5040203290837143,0.35606292209050505,0.1595166795962459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441895646691628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18301761005297415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18754739944527768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18740872190613406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40582845662445055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941203866174813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662560502127396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979913577745376,0.13187107836103376,0.0,0.20230897439660336,0.0,0.0,0.14991196121708955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801674796483298,0.12094903670704645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Qsxrgbuk,2019/02/04,"Losing a lot of sleep to intense hypochondria, how do I help myself? Hey all, I need help. A bit of backstory: throughout my gcse-college I suffered from pretty bad hypochondria, (this small headache IS a tumor and so on) but it disappeared for a while after leaving college. Recently its made a  s t r o n g comeback and its worse than ever. I can be doing anything I would normally do and suddenly I just remember whatever it is I'm worrying about this time and it fills me with such a sickening sense of dread and hopelessness that I just don't know what I can do. Its like a switch in my head that just kills me inside at any given moment. Its gotten to a point where over the last few days I've been losing out on probably 3-4 hours of sleep every night (my sleep schedule was already pretty messy already tho) due to the endless worry that comes with being alone with my thoughts. My all time greatest fear is that one of these times ill be right and I really don't know what I would do if that happens. Its 5:30 in the morning here and I've been in bed for 6 hours with 0 sleep. Pretty sure I have a cold also so its a bit of a vicious loop of: 
I feel bad -> ah yes I'm dying -> (cant sleep) super tired = feeling even worse -> see I told me I was dying (and so on). I really don't know what to do anymore and could really do with some help but I dislike talking about it in person so its difficult.  Sorry about the wall of text and thanks in advance if you actually reddit all. ",3.7340476190476175,4.4413173831168855,4.994935064935067,85.37430735930741,71.59740259740259,7.944588744588746,27.004329004328998,8.11559375814309,1.5815199134199136,1166,38,245,16,21,388,170,308,0.234,0.636,0.13,-0.9898,0,1,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,1,0,4,18,16,2,3,15,2,27,8,6,2,5,45,44,22,3,7,7,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,22,17,0,0,7,0,0,4,4,12,1,1,9,4,26,4,36,29,9,36,0,4,1,0,8,16,0,4,17,164,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.09017390550209016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570366443927304,0.20394232900631948,0.07389620830664682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283853740204459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164088438867986,0.0,0.0,0.07604140370685136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543085536187058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20176455412896707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959868575332958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737778366873325,0.0,0.0,0.05959355084101432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19180350672492333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610326006068183,0.08358557115138668,0.07785515911463628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398126332523176,0.09344544237319403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171339562564565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483414160543192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858112785043716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820005322043719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223239063739596,0.0,0.15235003831455066,0.07532237061232926,0.0,0.09784350403458268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045144392956344814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20675501444631764,0.0,0.07855938743481293,0.0,0.0874358017068933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685171025115298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671578961973836,0.09053723546342148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261598827062645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068444158337203,0.0,0.0,0.08735254942446356,0.0,0.0,0.2820271751112782,0.09962816923638572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775909390361666,0.0,0.09123874423092236,0.0,0.1046767995813726,0.07891332580024163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736347846061907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4623584386246754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343978066696577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709057555116878,0.0,0.0,0.07427160176547773,0.0,0.08507406662058044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733592117204751,0.16164621528658613,0.10620590127328047,0.0,0.08829689344782593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768343240412588,0.18833708494766607,0.13128365614852525,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scamperthepan,2019/02/04,"A Way I cope that I hope can help someone else I found myself listening to music that started to make me cry and really bring up past memories I hoped to be long buried. However, instead of committing to a depressive spiral, or another attempt, I expressed my pain through exercise. I told myself, ""If I'm stronger, then I can help to catch those other that may fall."" So, the burning of my muscles was my pain, with each push-up and sit-up, I continued to listen to the music until my mind exploded into an array of light. 

​

I've witnessed quite a few people, in my life, experience seizures and other losses of body control. I am now strengthening my mind and body in order to help those that suffer from these afflictions and hope that one day.... I'll be able to catch them the next time they fall.",4.893409090909088,6.122305019230769,5.6742424242424265,79.64045454545455,69.32051282051282,9.006060606060606,30.207459207459213,9.339509955726095,2.713764102564103,637,25,118,13,11,208,100,156,0.111,0.747,0.142,0.4767,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,4,3,8,0,0,7,0,7,6,2,2,1,20,18,10,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,10,8,0,1,1,1,0,5,0,5,0,1,3,3,20,3,21,12,2,21,0,3,0,0,9,4,0,6,10,79,30,0,0.14355685440341706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555437917686821,0.17443729118088694,0.0,0.15053187879470162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189186053319599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101121910052946,0.0,0.0,0.15769046365158898,0.09258229492795317,0.0,0.12364530834174373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119923331040839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404261500071843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740268112420974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28866940037397804,0.0,0.0,0.4277530442193745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139845174569624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704329867626624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582531505152428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28990299897687083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526743432750389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727783982434904,0.0,0.3055092291920801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704126132472333,0.09952424734965512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269038542052474,0.0,0.0,0.09196619691417307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216352568764146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016102804298132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370915625627452,0.0,0.0,0.1371747263763069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394874900387987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443729118088694,0.0
mentalhealth,cimbelina,2019/02/04,"I always have the urge to be someone else As a teenager, I just called them phases. But I'm getting too old (30) for this. I sometimes get the urge to completely change who I am. And it's usually an image of myself that I call one of my weird phases. I was gothic, I used to skateboard, then I was preppy, it's constantly changing and it's so upsetting. Because I end up upset with myself and urgently feel the need to change my image and I'll keep this image for awhile, and then I'll change to something else. I go through moments of being sure of myself and then moments of pure confusion and not knowing who I am. It's like my sense of self has completely eroded. I suffer from depersonalization, but I'm not depersonalized right now. Or maybe I am? How do I stop this? ",2.096730769230767,4.2329162371794915,3.9724102564102566,85.10592307692308,78.93589743589743,6.467692307692308,23.861538461538462,7.554174236665415,1.1898415384615384,607,21,121,9,15,205,90,156,0.091,0.885,0.024,-0.8123,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,3,5,0,10,0,0,2,2,24,20,16,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,8,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,2,1,21,2,18,16,0,14,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,12,85,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261150944867795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898264931138173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009327075177816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6235299606000281,0.0,0.3089986975734846,0.15923885434930768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246193081540469,0.0,0.13051316004347513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450732522057937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397424464837245,0.0,0.08374547799598543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309762631813229,0.0,0.0,0.08098268225671597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199041242591199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480383200067594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926217288608536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154624719906748,0.0,0.09985184260684414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584071904019967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372383458164968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485376471144395,0.11344139739073593,0.14573827303279466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231957248501251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888073450010838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726776648167168,0.1622911711051532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nataliemarie367,2019/02/05,"Used to make myself throw-up after eating, now, after recovering from my disorder, I puke after eating without forcing it I used to have a very terrible eating disorder, and it pushed me to points of puking after I ate anything, excessive workouts, and starving myself. I recently am recovering from this, and now when I eat food I immediately feel sick and puke, without forcing it/wanting to. It’s almost like eating triggers throwing up. I don’t know who to ask about this, should I see a doctor? ",10.394673913043476,8.285627815217392,10.69521739130435,59.34869565217392,58.89130434782609,12.678260869565218,42.565217391304344,11.20814326018867,5.022665217391305,397,18,61,8,4,135,57,92,0.256,0.721,0.023,-0.9694,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,4,9,0,4,0,14,12,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,4,7,0,2,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,2,12,1,16,10,0,12,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,9,47,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458051362435145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881638207242702,0.0,0.1349802907305707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309549628646032,0.14778395351303475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7387084435607876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730052895048018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459066454327474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935010612075966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053911659241976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637797034379868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364902984620007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256256415441435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505598627977108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494042058043888,0.0,0.1191325752383738,0.08516189165985624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783635757040749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,3iffel65,2019/02/05,"Anyone never seen (and don't plan to) see a doctor? (19/m)  I know I'm depressed. I have been since I was 11 or so (probably before that).


I'm 19 now, I've never seen or told anyone (except for my best friend).



I'm an absolute wreck of a human. My diet consists of coke, redbull, and junk food. Also a pack of fags a day as well. My personal hygiene is near non-existent, hardly ever shower or brush my teeth. I never do exercise either.



I sleep way to much (I can easily sleep for 18 hours a day, if I could). When I can't, I sleep every moment I can. 



My parents have never mentioned about me or my health. Not once. They just seem to think I'll click out of it or something (talking about this kinda think is really taboo in my family for some reason). 




I've spent many hours on the Internet trying to research this  before. Everything I've come to is more to do with fear or not knowing how to get help, not about not wanting help. 




Thanks 


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mentalhealth,sparkledstar23,2019/02/05,"Losing hope and need advice This is my first post ever, but I just wanted to share my experience and maybe get some advice.

Last fall I started my first semester of college and it was the worst 4 months of my life. By the end of the semester I was run so thin I thought everyday was going to be my last. I wasn't getting more than 5 hours of sleep a night, I was overly stressed about school, I had health problems relating to my GI tract/ heart problems/ lung problems/ etc., and was having problems with family on top of it all. I had already been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety a few years back and was on meds, so my doctor and I tried tweaking with my meds, but honestly just made it worse.

Come winter break, I was in the worst depressive episode I had ever been in, and it was scary. Everyday I was having extreme suicidal thoughts, but thank god I was too paralyzed with depression to act on them. Each day felt like a year and I was suffering 24/7. I had a periods here and there of no sleep, yet terrible depression. I finally saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with unspecified bipolar/ bipolar II (she hasn't decided 100% with all of the factors). She started me on Lamictal and seroquel on top of my 225 mg Effexor I was already taking. The holidays and everything combined caused me to fall into an even deeper depression and the diagnosis was not a relief but more of a life sentence. The spring semester started and I missed every single class the first two weeks, so I decided to withdraw for the entire semester. I feel so disappointed in myself for not being able to just push through it like I did first semester, but I honestly do not think I would be alive by the end of the semester if I tried to do school.

I'm currently taking lamictal, seroquel, and effexor, seeing a therapist, exercising, eating healthy, taking supplements, anything I can, yet it just keeps getting worse. I had a good few days of solid sleep and a stable mood, but last week it all disappeared. All of the sudden I was back to where I was 2 weeks prior. I'm really losing hope on ever getting ""better"" and being able to lead a so-called normal life. My suicidal thoughts are back and every day is a struggle between me and my mental illness. I am tired of suffering and having to live my life like this!

I desperately need to start recovering. If you have anything to offer I am listening!!",5.763202328966521,6.679235742358081,6.775790393013103,73.67514119359534,67.12227074235807,10.735487627365355,33.60727802037846,10.722254614519581,3.868045181950509,1902,84,340,53,30,637,213,458,0.228,0.6659999999999999,0.107,-0.9974,1,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,1,10,23,33,0,2,26,0,43,20,5,3,7,76,76,33,2,13,15,0,3,3,0,1,14,1,0,0,9,30,1,1,8,2,0,9,6,20,0,5,31,6,51,12,51,40,14,67,0,11,2,0,7,15,0,5,44,253,60,6,0.13902558782109334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585419539708515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534181932508187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317709707668439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440621302897595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035314324553773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061478417316599386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714087875264728,0.0,0.05987911687052029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344900042670287,0.0,0.2993563376852957,0.14110804517277648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711492900767264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112894205851357,0.0,0.0,0.12313540582881972,0.0,0.07752514008748505,0.04591254478714294,0.18863490532393806,0.11713505386370665,0.0,0.06247361695597331,0.06799685090389225,0.06553047561863347,0.0,0.035147757226933245,0.0,0.06674318321589906,0.07614786797048069,0.0,0.2365101879587351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527026313398336,0.0,0.03950572270232797,0.058304033519997675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388884936212323,0.0,0.0823729954750513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380837779382391,0.06845609971585881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178616514764555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998661435832738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963957683062557,0.10188131963354397,0.0,0.061381070556434165,0.0,0.0,0.15553407140367648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577468634720142,0.0,0.0,0.06983494463767806,0.0,0.15442608699394725,0.0,0.07005254667821656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548444890866048,0.0,0.0,0.10308571178251387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652330481592476,0.06810777906871733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657404145529686,0.0,0.0,0.26605742345806505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04453167575591221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070131709684586,0.05539269689493898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868898565692826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968060532410868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796266705653163,0.07266986504097167,0.0,0.15207142831029008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679491014036864,0.0,0.0,0.0639980412944328,0.0,0.08070971142826729,0.0,0.04454099153427992,0.0,0.1655561811316399,0.0,0.07989473085509691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943892482512611,0.0,0.06790389904660178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041000446862828235,0.0,0.16727691098384576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167895127794464,0.04937989437456206,0.0,0.0,0.08952792042384072
mentalhealth,The_Soup_Can,2019/02/05,"Is it bad to find comfort in suicidal thoughts? Hello.
I'd like to begin through stating that I belive I have a rather healthy mind. I have never visited a therapist of any kind, mostly because if I'm going through an anxious episode, I keep it to my self and don't want anyone to know.
I have had suicidal thoughts for years now, and only have come close to doing so a few times. However, I like to belive that suicide is not on my agenda, it seems far from where I am right now.
I have big planes for my future, and I live dreaming of those. They are my motivation and the source of my will to continue.
Now, if one of these failed, mostly because their outcome are based in soneone else's decision, I found comfort in thinking about suicide.
I have this thought of: if the reason I'm here failed, and if I don't want to be here in the first place, going out seems actually like a charming idea. Almost as a plan B.
I don't think of this dread which is the reason I'm writing this. I'm not scared of disturbed by it, and I want to see if more people find this normal or not.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. Good night! ",4.861373626373627,4.817680277777782,5.502075702075706,85.38538461538462,68.87179487179486,8.224175824175825,29.962148962148962,7.7094869923839395,1.7269789987789983,891,31,190,9,14,289,130,234,0.157,0.7140000000000001,0.129,-0.8361,1,0,0,0,0,2,28.0,0,1,2,5,9,15,0,3,11,0,19,0,0,3,1,46,43,14,4,10,10,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,14,9,0,1,16,2,0,4,7,6,0,2,5,1,22,9,32,36,5,29,0,2,1,0,7,12,0,11,15,129,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.1127892285956597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573649104281092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859823881634845,0.0,0.0,0.13057229448308008,0.0,0.08081609526246683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965043192454518,0.14091276708126174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956177802610833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655210604785884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21127571727782696,0.09831213311553362,0.0,0.1267273034214384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137334683660273,0.09694286667415154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304755447295193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273265173259236,0.0,0.12035859328285893,0.06351964463311051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939938096107324,0.0,0.10205909574383293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167026668533544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496446412303234,0.0,0.08914227997626735,0.0,0.0,0.10846382846362462,0.11324368053312513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783198750844293,0.08790365889296357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012849210438347,0.0,0.1207563086329994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561109432745233,0.0,0.0,0.2376706028978578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870453201919832,0.0,0.0,0.11571555966642327,0.0,0.09210214981037168,0.21043904865814295,0.12057495593084873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5057022408089764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690163813857943,0.0,0.0,0.10641036665988272,0.0,0.13419707560397398,0.0,0.1481177593780439,0.0,0.2752723924155512,0.1347910412741994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536545334737807,0.2045159115333168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442961257805263
mentalhealth,JackiAttack,2019/02/05,Wondering who you are now Recently things just haven’t been the same. I don’t feel like myself and I nothing makes me truly happy anymore. At first I thought it was because I wasn’t doing anything but then I move and I get a job and I hang out with friends and I live my life and yet I’m still so very unhappy. I feel numb to a lot of joy and my pain is almost always enhanced and I just don’t understand. It was suppose to get better after graduating college but it hasn’t. I just wonder when I’ll feel whole again? ,-0.03161038961038898,2.242444072727274,2.1706493506493523,93.49454545454547,90.0909090909091,4.961038961038962,20.584415584415584,6.5431188927421005,0.3232597402597399,408,14,89,5,14,137,74,110,0.126,0.72,0.154,0.4757,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,9,7,0,0,3,0,11,3,0,1,0,25,22,12,0,0,5,0,3,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,7,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,5,3,16,5,7,17,3,13,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,10,65,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883787979821487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569155365766943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702291553871853,0.0,0.0,0.15518712109536126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495798746085298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678567256563026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28605855115359746,0.13472319499214586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040796302619914,0.0,0.0,0.1456981762930081,0.0,0.19705288130478255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007493086858373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18713878150559204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320121814992752,0.0921317602644627,0.0,0.1665215791557002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032588269968068,0.0,0.0,0.12588011428887896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004330841076036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809497521614724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006648069266881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18620221825648786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150602026117113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252856653955234,0.0,0.0,0.14971323933753045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19632076991704545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556001037689407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210545344200894,0.0,0.0,0.4090188051493161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littleone5154,2019/02/05,"My Mental Health Discord So I made a Mental Health server on Discord, and I am trying to get people to join, when I wright this, there is only three people in it, it is a server to give support, advice, and to be a Safe Haven, for people of all kinds 
This is the link
[Peace and Serenity ](https://discord.gg/MqB7cbc)",5.4594999999999985,6.4320972833333325,5.600000000000001,81.63000000000002,67.83333333333334,7.333333333333332,23.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.906333333333333,247,5,45,2,4,78,41,60,0.087,0.7879999999999999,0.125,0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,5,2,0,1,1,7,9,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,3,8,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22207414106113404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873306088527487,0.21800683057416315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4831298056899346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23665450589639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21503726007763246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4580457478619383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728401470504871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4726567881020493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578899798250132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542934406224064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IHateMyBrainFuckery,2019/02/05,"Temporary paralysis Basically I frequently find myself struggling to move, mainly when I've not moved already for a little bit (this varies from time to time). If I really focus I can move, but it happens quite a bit and if anything it's mainly just annoying other than when I'm trying to sleep.",7.836726190476193,7.498532553571433,8.547142857142859,67.03119047619049,62.75,11.752380952380953,34.73809523809524,11.20814326018867,4.126423809523811,237,9,39,6,3,80,42,56,0.106,0.894,0.0,-0.6652,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,3,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,6,3,4,9,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22111145936258786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488608154593154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375006917736569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831330441268217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771850723122727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008217277728317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6388795465255287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21311640661935527,0.0,0.0,0.12836109728073306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20051305604093916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20946850657564767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336727952233895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360369587644232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bretthren2086,2019/02/05,"Help!!! My partner of 7 years is angry all the time. Hi redditeers! My partner has always struggled with mental health issues, however the last couple of years have been hard. 
We have 3 amazing children together and she has started to fray really badly. 
Unfortunately for me when she gets overwhelmed she takes it out on me. It’s only verbal but I’ve started to become over sensitive and my nerves are shot (seriously she broke the lid of a toy box last night and my heart tried to escape my chest. I should add this was a accident she walked over the lid when it was on the floor). 
Now I am starting to pre empty her anger by getting angry myself at the slightest provocation or hint that I did something wrong. I shrugged and made a face the other day and it turned into an hour long argument!
I don’t know what to do any more! She is trying to get help but I don’t know if it’s enough. How can I say something upset me if I’ll only get excuses of “I’m sick, you don’t understand it’s not my fault!”.
I’m so stressed right now and don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not feeling compassionate anymore, just angry and it’s not like me. I’m normally a very empathetic and understanding person but it’s killing me! 
Thanks for any advice given. ",2.4679826086956536,4.526182160000005,4.0363304347826094,85.48399130434784,77.4,6.907826086956523,24.469565217391306,7.893859768569023,1.3810313043478266,980,34,196,16,23,326,147,250,0.245,0.688,0.067,-0.9943,1,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,1,1,0,0,7,15,2,4,12,0,20,5,3,3,1,35,42,18,1,4,10,0,2,1,2,1,2,1,0,4,13,13,0,0,6,1,0,1,7,11,0,0,6,3,28,4,22,35,3,26,0,2,0,0,19,9,0,3,17,122,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407493286429125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565033394365826,0.0,0.0,0.1726897428908053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518429202467756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060157729315614,0.0,0.14022987948817747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049138278505838,0.0,0.0818860161149299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131195345238304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420052918521378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653491574970328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137413891110232,0.0,0.0,0.13496460668334825,0.0,0.15046166006908376,0.17021243776905448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504120246813732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252510030558584,0.0,0.0,0.14047498544825973,0.0,0.2093403986920935,0.2069971923717286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062031787617155824,0.0,0.0,0.11236564842980168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014336059104035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795725594881166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915400988883088,0.1244049635830149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931348651317296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086648455210037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134109754357638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843283840227222,0.0,0.10097271308954528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19549749564714647,0.0,0.0,0.2696129233087109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544525144360215,0.13273802255221512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095466652770721,0.0,0.0,0.11689815914545185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403801475760227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17241042288985378,0.13810836711895869,0.0,0.2643633046709096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476466055240878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882323798363666,0.0,0.1635307718484486
mentalhealth,let_it_reindeer,2019/02/05,"I don’t know why I feel undeserving of any type of love.. I know that there are people who love me and I just feel like I don’t deserve it. Specifically my mom and my boyfriend. My mom does so much for me and she loves me so much and is so supportive and I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. I feel like no matter how much I love her, I can’t love her enough to deserve her love. And my boyfriend is so sweet and he tells me all he time that he wants to marry me and again I just feel like I don’t deserve it. 

I don’t necessarily think I’m a bad person, I don’t know why I feel this way. I’m a nice person but I feel guilty all the time for everything I do.

For example my mom was congratulating me on doing good in school and I thanked her and stuff but I also brought up that some people weren’t doing so good, specifically the girl who sits next to me. And for some reason I feel really guilty now. I was just trying to talk about how hard the class was but I feel like I was talking bad about this girl now, and my mom was so proud of me but now I feel like she shouldn’t be proud of me because I’m a mean person(because I said that this girl wasn’t doing good). Another thing is that today my boyfriend took me out for coffee and I didn’t want coffee so I ordered juice instead and I just felt really guilty about it for some reason. Like I ruined our date.

I know that’s a stupid example but it’s how I feel right now, and pretty much all the time. Every little thing I do I feel guilty over. Obviously ordering juice instead of coffee doesn’t make me a bad person but for some reason even little things like that make me feel so guilty and like I don’t deserve the people around me that love me. 

I don’t know what I’m even hoping for by posting this, but if anyone can relate or wants to give me advice I appreciate it. It makes me so depressed and I just don’t know what to do. I think it also makes me kind of lash out at the people who love me, which just makes the whole thing worse and repeats the cycle.",1.2220265251989382,2.8626927977011505,2.9200000000000017,93.9938461538462,79.64367816091955,5.932802829354554,18.51016799292661,6.788186056548923,-0.1556861184792222,1577,32,374,16,39,522,146,435,0.115,0.693,0.192,0.9852,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,2,34,34,1,0,13,0,32,8,0,11,4,84,82,41,0,6,15,4,15,9,0,1,0,1,0,6,31,21,0,0,26,0,0,2,16,6,0,0,12,17,70,28,33,68,13,30,0,2,0,8,36,11,0,7,21,250,101,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733436697092448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938412107879488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797990122778906,0.06152353140724121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04102537585587328,0.0,0.0,0.052231218478521635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696797547203086,0.0715327709613402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0505347842067128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134495001008692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06062467168124404,0.0,0.0775056429785175,0.0,0.04943435234923084,0.0,0.05273131639527704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856674027199528,0.2514950982549578,0.05633507523449083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628428220675339,0.0,0.14763584638442534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052559291329271764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582753147512477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109867732259393,0.19347017102285965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579810340171648,0.1176110899986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.423635837466354,0.0,0.19582269972932626,0.0,0.0,0.06391186396345057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748674291850831,0.0,0.0,0.17252499338008054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06239917304408477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270528758760353,0.2049232528552378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619230988603573,0.05969131613564955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517457763176219,0.18097618640401625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501062382637328,0.05581125497591799,0.0,0.0,0.059379991351345876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716630209594747,0.0,0.06658118172048334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431792505388767,0.05128260066477994,0.05401801798274264,0.0,0.0,0.15591836644720233,0.07519030373441192,0.0,0.0,0.1026377192374717,0.0,0.05561494025787976,0.0,0.06518762358048409,0.0398349699950717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382018720295128,0.04657172616384566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058861259536092,0.06550606972320136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059792581015865286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thr0w4w4y_hell,2019/02/05,"My mental state is declining, and I don't think I can cope with it anymore. I post this on a throwaway account for privacy reasons. I want to apologize in advance for any grammatical errors, English isn't my first language, and I'm not doing very well right now...


I've always been a very anxious person, it wasn't before I was 11 years old that I started having panic/anxiety attacks, and would eventually slip into an depression the same year. My mother would then start taking me to a psychiatrist.

The depression (I obviously had no idea what was wrong with me at the time, I just felt immensly sad and cried all the time) would get a little bit better toward the the start of 7th grade, and I eventually started enjoying life... until I turned 14, the anxiety would come back, and I would also be diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. I would just deny that, thinking that males cannot get eating disorders. (Oh boy was I wrong).

I quickly started to lose popularity, and people started to stare at me... my eating disorder twisted me into thinking I was ugly and overweight, so I got even skinnier to the point of almost being hospitalized, which made me hate myself even more.

Then the depression came back, at age 15. I barely went to school anymore, I would often isolate myself, just sitting there and self harm while listening to some questionable music which I believe made my mental state even worse. 

According to people around me (my family, who are very supportive) I used to be this happy and social guy who enjoyed life.

Three years went past, I dropped out of school, while my friends went on to go to something that is about the equivalent of a high school or college in the US (16-18 year olds). They got girlfriends, new friends, etc. Looking back, it feels like I've lost a lot of my teenage years, and it feels bitter as hell...

There's obviously a lot more detail to my story than this, but as I wrote earlier, I'm feeling really low right now.

I'm turning 19 years old this year, but it isn't getting any better. 

I have this devouring feeling of anxiety and depression inside me, almost constantly nowadays. I try to keep my spirits up during the day, but it bites me in the ass when I try to go to sleep at night, because the feelings are too overwhelming.

The worst part is something I've tried to deny myself to believe for some time now, but I am starting to believe that I have some sort of bipolar disorder. 

Just writing this post is difficult, because I change my mind so quickly. Do I have Bipolar Disorder or do I not? 

I'm sorry if my post is disorderly written... I also just switched over to a new psychiatrist, and I don't really like her...

I've been close to commiting suicide before, and I've been to one of those emergency hospitalization centres.

But do I really want to do it? These past 2-3 weeks have been particularily difficult for some reason... 

I really hope I get back on track to a normal life, how life was before I got mentally ill, to get a job and maybe even a girlfriend, but my fluctuating emotions can be really rough, and it's been two days since I last slept... This post is really ranty, sorry for that, but I had to get this off my chest...",7.7814801692226325,6.880082031147541,8.12058699101005,71.88963246959283,63.114754098360656,11.149656266525648,36.23479640401904,10.384295024167834,3.6934415653093593,2509,101,458,50,31,829,280,610,0.155,0.784,0.061,-0.9952,1,0,2,0,0,1,99.0,1,0,1,6,31,32,4,1,27,0,50,15,4,6,4,90,104,39,1,12,17,1,7,2,4,7,9,1,0,5,29,26,3,1,13,0,1,8,9,19,1,4,27,11,66,13,64,66,14,88,2,9,2,1,21,25,2,15,49,315,95,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101701978318254,0.0,0.0,0.08122093625274987,0.042254818036966256,0.0,0.0,0.06906720869044135,0.0,0.1165446204692061,0.057369376515704174,0.10072449723254732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04520688118606686,0.0,0.05777202836531476,0.0,0.15619335932155448,0.0,0.06191265629939732,0.0,0.12963561167407595,0.1716422842027271,0.0,0.0898253722886031,0.05544095686537177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058081252680504236,0.0,0.0,0.05372078270673922,0.04374432687091151,0.0,0.054877464972090506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055781808765237945,0.065500573099062,0.0,0.1749543703511973,0.0515428147136904,0.0,0.0,0.29100372531033586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392563731752667,0.0,0.0571230852327115,0.0,0.0,0.05663552246492382,0.13416452824359726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787289284286487,0.0,0.12838490790028334,0.0362787791059139,0.048758829047440735,0.0,0.0,0.0431952720375756,0.0,0.0,0.07846832839997142,0.0,0.15918946889858526,0.0,0.057721333829925885,0.0,0.12184537653383105,0.0,0.0,0.05028231384308412,0.0,0.054058544454078594,0.0,0.05013686104484097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536541310862047,0.0,0.050438134640179474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05732686770430736,0.0,0.0,0.050393449448605035,0.04513750946199021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04139423119331898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347574135787355,0.04961918813561862,0.050897056651252534,0.0,0.0,0.0426442173631762,0.05681223784377262,0.05543471707087404,0.0863463382643422,0.0,0.09610259902881757,0.0,0.0,0.05101749666496131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352939356093068,0.0,0.05127549654849985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809143652876633,0.0,0.047655609010307784,0.04975572629897253,0.0,0.0,0.15986197624647935,0.0,0.03441130004009984,0.0,0.0,0.05958191304050015,0.0,0.05499212128015662,0.09695461926033454,0.07041189942124647,0.04434101584236715,0.0,0.0,0.04800554731359179,0.0,0.19454105422666126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056887631607752176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195194079223481,0.10442501878626692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673535965088743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541827450351652,0.0,0.0,0.05297685908443358,0.0,0.0,0.04200752040519528,0.0,0.05081882566101552,0.05176600820375014,0.0,0.07818916227617502,0.0,0.11369292178952516,0.2516070769395983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554743135337355,0.05762698361141145,0.0,0.0,0.03818185793502829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761745636846328,0.0,0.0,0.08883444257930323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343324211505446,0.11047279651962573,0.04960678298123527,0.0,0.0610846754911317,0.04385947403171892,0.0,0.12570177972292984,0.05990525723013765,0.0,0.040734378719805,0.0,0.045659252798550785,0.1412266893333202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05175135071574165,0.2525192833972421,0.1110446212773781,0.0,0.2289142837972511
mentalhealth,Alpharinio872,2019/02/05,"What can cause random tantrum attack ? How can I help this person, This is getting out of control.",3.2183333333333337,6.0644163888888905,2.997777777777781,89.60000000000002,79.55555555555556,3.6,25.66666666666667,3.1291,0.4298000000000002,77,3,13,0,2,23,16,18,0.261,0.619,0.119,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5041465062996082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552365849925399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4970298212816118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315273119066948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29703375387725084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869410310704293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,meghostrider55,2019/02/05,"Help with mental state Im so tired, of everything, school, work, not sleeping. Im so deprived of energy and i practically have no drive left. Im fading fast and i dont know what to do. I cant quit what im doing so i dont see a way out. I dont know if i can take it. I just want to break down at this point. ",-3.65354056902002,-2.3831219178082184,0.33972602739726193,102.62853530031614,110.64383561643835,3.889989462592202,11.094836670179133,5.873414542411696,-1.341861116965227,232,4,65,3,13,85,47,73,0.14800000000000002,0.758,0.095,-0.6776,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,1,0,8,2,1,0,0,10,13,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,1,7,0,8,13,0,11,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,1,2,37,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5314350944715924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584261401801875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131171935274104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6530656934971665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661346334769443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642233942882667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232223653857688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288428092102298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076513952166588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297045089996358,0.12044586355579726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512577559920699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364493523294407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17372307886817046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915135939189345,0.11997472192814035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003797972044266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sleepingmylifeaway96,2019/02/05,"Reviews on the antidepressant Mirtazapine? I went to a psychiatrist for the first time ever today and he prescribed me this drug for my depression. I'm quite nervous since I've never taken an antidepressant before.

I've also been reading some reviews and have read that it makes you super drowsy and makes you sleep for hours on end. I've also read by almost every single comment how it makes you ridiculously hungry, therefore leading to weight gain, which is one of the things I'm concerned about. 

I told him that some of my depressive symptoms include oversleeping and overeating. Can this drug make these symptoms even worse? I've already gained 20-25 pounds within the last few years just by depression alone without any medication. He told me this drug shouldn't cause me to gain weight but every review I've read says otherwise. I also don't want to sleep anymore than I do since I already oversleep. 

I know every person responds differently to every drug out there but it's making me quite nervous to take it. ",7.216639928698754,8.335395294117651,6.704612299465243,74.74946746880573,63.97326203208557,8.80017825311943,32.69563279857397,8.841846274778883,2.8310146167557937,828,32,135,12,12,257,113,187,0.1,0.853,0.047,-0.7635,1,1,4,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,8,9,7,1,2,6,0,7,11,2,9,2,26,21,10,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,1,7,1,0,1,12,5,2,0,1,4,0,2,4,6,0,2,5,3,16,1,21,15,4,16,0,3,0,0,12,5,0,3,9,83,28,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032971562880876,0.0934276974313547,0.19909229515384425,0.2164165593276275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134414908587259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946153597326535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675988301979239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266788443764183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330865945260245,0.0,0.0,0.0942475698107062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4184479421376674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989701234807411,0.0,0.0,0.059581159993729586,0.08159778935229707,0.30401461811726915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673039805486105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883615248570283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957564710018278,0.07353109928038734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010708163845807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908745003717862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957353491718851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112689248409495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876565270342699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19189342176611995,0.3609273853056853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173657290446869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924104467657573,0.0,0.18054516328816084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875201293699528,0.06782476460109611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05992981143209537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05260068072698732,0.0,0.08550610061940624,0.17239413962892786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053206682305979684,0.0,0.0,0.21969670740016328,0.0,0.08362319591435285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695674819671004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192908281353764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580906305173101
mentalhealth,EitherPepper,2019/02/05,"(X-post)Parents don't want to take me to a mental health professional. How can I help myself?  Not sure if this is the right sub. Anyway, this could be the dumbest or best thing I could ever do to myself. I am currently falling apart. I don't know what happened or what went wrong I was doing perfectly fine before. I thought I would get better if I just will out of whatever was going on with me, but things have gotten worse. I believe i'm letting this problem fester. There was a strange prelude to what I am feeling now, where I had some degree of awareness that something was off, but then it got lost, and I have managed to gain some of it back. I feel that I must hurry and help myself in case I lose it again and end up doing something dumb again. Time is drawing nearer.

While, naturally, I tend to be a nervous person, i've been finding that the reasons for my worries have started to become odd and make no sense. I don't realize it at the time. This fear tends to be all consuming. I feel that it explaining everything would take to long . I suppose if someone wants me to elaborate, I will ,but otherwise I won't much. I've made a post a while ago explaining mostly everything. I've held on to these beliefs for a while, albeit to a lesser extent compared to when I first conceived them. It scares me letting them go though, because what if i'm right. They don't make any sense. . . but they make sense, if that makes sense. Sometimes there's just too many coincidences and I get especially distressed and believe in them full-force again. It's not just that generally speaking i've been doing pretty bad. I'm all over the place. I feel like I can't do anything anymore. I can't think.

From the other couple post here are some of my options:

1. Make my own appointment Pros: Will have appointment made. Cons: Parents will probably be very mad at me and ridicule me for doing so. They might not let me. 2. Tell school staff what is happening with me. Pros: Might force me to get evaluation. Cons: Parent's still not very happy with me, have no idea what I would even tell them , might think i'm faking. 3. Commit Myself to Hospital. Pros: . . . Cons: Scared to go, don't think i'm an immediate danger, have cameras in house so parents might catch on, would randomly disappear and that will probably also catch their attention. 4. Wait for me to accidentally hurt myself for the third time. Pros: Might get help? Cons: Don't want to accidentally hurt myself, possible injury, panic attacks, might lose insight and think i'm fine again, might get pinned to couch again, might run around for weeks-months panicking about nonsense.

I'm so sorry if this sounds stupid. Frankly, it is and I really want to stop. This seems more like an advice thing than anything .",3.1018421052631595,5.402039364661658,3.819750375939851,86.62788120300753,76.40601503759399,6.737203007518798,24.73774436090225,7.770157013224466,1.3511884511278196,2170,75,420,33,50,688,254,532,0.235,0.6990000000000001,0.067,-0.9985,5,0,2,0,0,4,87.0,0,0,8,8,28,30,6,6,16,0,63,1,0,9,7,98,115,33,0,18,19,3,4,2,0,19,1,2,1,1,32,15,0,3,20,0,0,9,15,21,0,2,15,6,56,9,49,72,11,54,1,5,0,0,20,19,1,23,26,286,88,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060086158655025,0.0549730286365578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04959379972712268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0421726893771083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150274515207831,0.0,0.0,0.10206699999430577,0.05520697286356937,0.0,0.07055162219906241,0.0,0.04768611726411502,0.05178038007438411,0.037804093608715734,0.06849128442774602,0.05277065134093427,0.13974053916289705,0.06508147634439215,0.05484769973387733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902871448528214,0.0686190082534445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054927355487441216,0.0,0.0,0.04096067498835057,0.056096600498867125,0.0,0.0,0.11147112543397618,0.0,0.0,0.0697847165219288,0.12542766836527172,0.044303909517228734,0.0,0.0,0.056681074104616314,0.05275038110675751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200278326136155,0.0,0.10573457049432188,0.0,0.04959948735951752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968026291321634,0.06601668857528252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591961212380143,0.0,0.0,0.12470311460293886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155759928365381,0.1327778224756809,0.0700079887546093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034082115360316245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19024525402634068,0.0,0.06059531427617535,0.0,0.0,0.05488179562446605,0.0,0.13875903803452286,0.06769728060724135,0.0,0.0,0.1173611945240237,0.20697925081861493,0.06287401723695799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249707154973936,0.526309446403291,0.0,0.0,0.049500207169780125,0.0,0.0455885527145909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276186655849735,0.2065827326943645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414957179366614,0.06479303316458587,0.0,0.0,0.06991319600592226,0.17818121522257815,0.06309209254703982,0.13372646812366334,0.05934049017010452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03972873875279781,0.06376229710122071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592185350831712,0.0,0.0,0.12417673544347314,0.06276303074416659,0.0,0.056456612549619166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254556027887456,0.0954851749723541,0.061334948355641176,0.06942131245661715,0.04389491379709806,0.0,0.04952568515460812,0.05184776287020964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058448906391534175,0.0,0.09325592651365833,0.0,0.1084086194327628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360109446215238,0.15894819913405586,0.060929946784802874,0.049233406389507364,0.10848526888285856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233861984422864,0.14631347368013767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748902085315982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297978456569843,0.06319912676253306,0.17621622271758047,0.06780425051081608,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chihuahua_enthusiast,2019/02/05,"Thinking about going into a long term program (Angelus House) I have....not been doing great. In 3 years there’s been 5 inpatient stays and 3 partials. I’ve had to leave school and haven’t been able to hold down a job in a year. I’ve written about my PTSD before on reddit and I’ve gotten some help, but this is just a mess of everything.

I’m considering going into a long term program. I found one that my insurance will cover, Wellspring’s Angelus House. But I’m scared. And the reviews are mixed so if anyone has been there and can give input I’d love to know if it was helpful. I think that’s just me patching myself out, I don’t know. I want to heal from this, I want my life back. ",1.7242657342657353,3.548605062937064,3.14055944055944,92.1385314685315,78.7902097902098,5.51888111888112,21.48951048951049,6.297961479604792,0.21336083916083928,536,15,116,4,13,175,91,143,0.062,0.812,0.126,0.8225,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,6,0,14,3,0,0,0,23,29,10,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,9,0,11,2,15,19,3,17,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,3,7,68,16,5,0.17459225546751467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207896449502395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425066751774933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856515007561955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691226144058132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191431396489666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674848004631375,0.19844960452458948,0.0,0.0,0.19248857801774205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23405101718615995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4029120432091623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17325587352454294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190267524601365,0.0,0.0,0.18486798940851248,0.0,0.0,0.12331967334311883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090173039817525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757632709619296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830823078787422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20408900358793367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17479730558820766,0.1766966835687867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18609211408959936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22374333515458172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059580716081988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22486337657826416
mentalhealth,ahc9aghe,2019/02/05,"Is stress an appropriate reason to see a therapist? I'm fairly certain I don't have any systemic issues like depression or generalized anxiety, but I've been super stressed out lately.

I don't want to sound like a huge whiner, but in the last few months:

* I broke up with the mother of my child after she repeatedly assaulted me for the last 6 months.
* One of my childhood friends died.
* I moved to a new city where I have no friends.
* Work stress is ramping up.  I'm constantly behind on deadlines.

So I've been thinking about going to a therapist, but I have some hesitations.  Namely:

* Would therapy be of any benefit in this situation?
* Would I be taking away resources from people who need therapy way more than I do?",3.024827945776849,5.5963733649635055,4.591392075078204,79.57403284671534,78.12408759124088,8.001876955161627,27.30396246089677,8.841846274778883,2.552193326381648,569,24,103,14,14,190,92,137,0.222,0.609,0.16899999999999998,-0.7631,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,3,13,1,3,8,0,14,0,0,1,1,16,22,5,1,4,4,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,2,2,12,7,21,16,3,23,0,2,1,0,7,9,0,2,12,68,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904833958287312,0.0,0.1071411238100192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158558543166504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134889740813773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062852695024913,0.0,0.14535420779714678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164111441888808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959606221359983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618025782060098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283258256682446,0.15798730304161626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368468718158201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357994463221376,0.14885551133392685,0.0,0.10384845747791724,0.0,0.13526527483876558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490438966337912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709598782704468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439991029392798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160511051652844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742685372003076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4812950370710661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530337183759578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203284991035665,0.325227575786507,0.0,0.08974111320355753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082607629883626,0.11116855078860367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196116765791936,0.0,0.0,0.19898105266187266,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,westernsydneyu,2019/02/05,The simple change we can make to reduce the risk of depression [There is growing evidence that the way we fuel our bodies affects not just our physical health but our psychological health too.](https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellness/the-simple-change-we-can-make-to-reduce-the-risk-of-depression-20190204-p50vmu.html?csp=eb3bf4b4744369867664fc1a200a9b77),15.94955128205128,18.336713826923074,9.09692307692308,60.714743589743605,45.34615384615386,11.548717948717947,38.487179487179496,11.20814326018867,4.735633333333333,317,11,36,6,3,79,34,52,0.108,0.855,0.037000000000000005,-0.3716,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,2,3,1,2,0,7,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805498344618637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671870011502113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175393357885479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8054146107296142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371866780488139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004793833642876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,controlissues012345,2019/02/05,"I just posted something on /r/offmychest but I would also appreciate professional/expert opinions on what type of help I should get or seek out I know there's many types of therapy for different issues and problems, there's also counseling and group support etc. but I feel like I have several different ""types"" of problems that I genuinely am clueless and overwhelmed with how I should go about fixing these things or what type of help would be good for X and Y but maybe not Z?

​

[The link to the post is here](https://old.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/ankxsn/i_have_several_unresolved_issues_that_i_ignored/)(I know it's very long, so I understand if you don't want to through it). But I really really want and need as much help as there is, and I am flawed and weak and never learned how to do that IRL so after a lot of self-deliberation and reflection I'm here. Please help me.",6.575724637681159,8.581085242236028,5.766723602484473,77.61459886128364,66.14285714285714,9.093374741200828,29.565734989648035,9.516144504307137,2.6861548654244314,728,26,127,15,12,220,102,161,0.101,0.7040000000000001,0.195,0.95,2,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,0,12,7,0,1,3,0,12,1,0,2,1,41,23,24,0,10,9,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,11,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,1,13,3,19,18,3,9,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,5,4,87,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22230799663983591,0.0,0.15060068169377114,0.16889375439506182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29043972186628064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501581388630406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027988839056391,0.09929782979202977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261898542775827,0.0,0.07899388186796212,0.11658214611102405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726608263487672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507433780732704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277568624885984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790578155241977,0.0,0.0,0.12300592114743188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181683095661288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409187931712606,0.13963884190984158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021770854366259,0.10306279675201127,0.10720126880293712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585153909762044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525744233583296,0.0,0.0,0.2662369705684507,0.0,0.0,0.26599828127561737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808710705285394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500176869030593,0.15702442929240235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070048981611869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772951987629666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895253429261536,0.0,0.09234189167315357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469836761961816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468517073523382,0.16396533132274824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747567066513852,0.0,0.16889375439506182,0.0
mentalhealth,HannahTheDog,2019/02/05,"Need advice on self-loathing Hi everyone! 

Honestly I just need to know that Im not alone in my experience. I’ve been in therapy for anxiety/depression and OCD for about 5 years now. I’ve made strides but there’s still so much I have to improve on.


Im just wondering if anyone has any advice or even just shared experience on self-loathing. I’m angry at myself. I’m angry at myself ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to cry because living with myself and my thoughts is just too much. Every mistake I make plays in my head on repeat. Anger is generally not an emotion I’m comfortable with- even when I should be angry with someone, I find it impossible and always wind up redirecting the anger to myself. And then the anger just turns into sadness 


Do you guys feel this? I know that I need to change the way I think. What makes this situation particularly difficult is that I think somewhere subconsciously I won’t change my thought patterns because I think I deserve the anger I give myself 


any advice would be golden ",2.5677545454545485,5.2283798300000015,3.8854545454545466,83.3977272727273,80.7,6.836363636363638,25.09090909090909,8.00094639256281,1.7503000000000002,826,32,154,16,22,270,116,200,0.218,0.69,0.092,-0.9873,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,14,12,4,0,6,0,12,1,1,3,1,40,35,10,0,7,10,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,11,1,0,1,3,7,0,0,4,2,24,5,22,26,3,20,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,3,8,97,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347621492876369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281187528197765,0.0,0.0,0.09866706073109158,0.0,0.0,0.1612753004503536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291305403886312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456907171560074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508812947773455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025324374406,0.0,0.0,0.10213174666560958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338518970481694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566403580839994,0.0,0.0999077532429527,0.11330712496156578,0.0,0.2319856397320118,0.0,0.0,0.11991400832606522,0.08471271839726184,0.0,0.0,0.10837887494356364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375158995597773,0.06739106467686735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741165491033753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169605876178285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561709044003946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033561472847918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793161202258061,0.0,0.10470725284466842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220212765437426,0.15830453952922674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17433812367046542,0.2637740330309257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474070989042448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332875394319399,0.0,0.0,0.10047143241838856,0.0,0.11727746523004905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469718283670332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560519201943566,0.0,0.0,0.2279415210709393,0.0,0.18827664360367136,0.06914425185246935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897968361619308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412233203351053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859365034290687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423497731220833,0.0,0.0,0.07636085942699324
mentalhealth,CyberSamantha,2019/02/05,"Anger, anxiety, stress and all the mhe' that life can bring us. Hi All,

I'm going to try to be brief. I suffer from anger, depression and anxiety. I'm mostly depressed due to my cynical outlook on life. My anxiety kicks in every single time that I must do something new or challenging, that includes a lot of bad talk to myself. Now every time I'm stressed I get irritable and angry and to be honest I just cannot find a decent balance. All I can see is darkness and emptiness and I don't know what else to do. I'm not even 30, I have a decent job, I live in an apartment that I rent by myself, I live abroad but I still cannot find a reason to keep on going on. 
All my relationships are superficial and I cannot find the strength to.change to a better me. 
Any suggestions?

Apologies english is not my first language and I just had to put this out there.

Thank.you ",2.187443181818182,4.126824676136368,3.8522727272727297,87.03590909090912,77.80681818181819,6.672727272727273,25.20454545454545,7.6454224807358475,1.3234045454545456,677,25,139,10,16,226,100,176,0.2,0.758,0.043,-0.958,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,4,6,13,3,2,8,0,16,2,0,1,5,28,27,10,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,6,9,0,1,5,0,1,5,6,9,0,1,1,1,21,4,18,23,7,19,0,3,1,0,6,7,0,3,7,95,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712946256774103,0.0,0.3277942330656827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925728623103407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632174226764056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109545765517846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24603895666687214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931633979897052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943380279226385,0.0,0.24068127857745264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916327614049721,0.12149133106801628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462290645943725,0.0,0.16234743635643062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173697633606666,0.1269540819389213,0.0,0.0,0.07849576579093318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017704481450562,0.0,0.0,0.2522434413043419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142916427819428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794633796827138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358384340935934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685327734607126,0.0,0.15334622741900106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381721075605372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995769851573313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406441593875125,0.0,0.3272231197814637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480153838353685,0.0,0.13149889718853186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16657092569847773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969723588444817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180719516755588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DunkinDog_Nuts,2019/02/05,"How to go about diagnosis for frontal lobe damage I’ve been having a host of problems for a long time now & could never get any answers for it

At around 18 I had an MRI, had my eyes checked, my vision you name it. It all looked normal.

I was just recently watching a video of a woman explaining how her life is different from suffering a MTBI from a fall in the shower. She was listing her symptoms & all I could think was “holy shit, that’s me.”

At 16 I got on a horse I shouldn’t have, got bucked off, landed head first into some gravel then was promptly ran over. As dazed as I was I proceeded to go chase the horse down. My mom being the person she is, decided I was fine. Looking back now, that’s fucking crazy. I’m sure I had a concussion.

I also am sure this was brought up at various appointments when trying to find a diagnosis to my problems. Nobody seemed to be concerned.

I never knew how falls can cause just severe problems. Especially even mild trauma to the frontal lobe. 

Anyways, having had an MRI that came back normal, how do I go about being taken seriously about this. It’s the only thing that’s made since in almost 8 years. 


",3.430280193236716,4.942911486956521,4.630724637681162,84.62120772946864,73.26086956521739,7.371980676328503,25.386473429951693,7.984000788550335,1.4313574879227051,902,29,180,13,18,297,140,230,0.139,0.8220000000000001,0.04,-0.9654,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,1,18,13,2,0,16,0,26,8,3,6,6,35,45,9,0,8,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,11,3,0,0,7,1,2,8,3,10,0,1,20,4,22,3,30,19,4,35,0,2,4,1,10,13,2,3,14,127,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004198609447873,0.0,0.0,0.10385375031455897,0.0,0.2814193970568962,0.0,0.08831329675811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560822536169098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971779307362655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853204585249224,0.0,0.1334081000427866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20737478162016454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568227329671162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857752327178413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869512217275233,0.11046390755703576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005897469661755,0.06784959690792858,0.0,0.22141743008509607,0.0,0.20773132142759945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332799272016257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172815844432207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492727580784293,0.2181093745885077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122882298389919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209742670891804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032124749342745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544821083910163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987689041236284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339393512177574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727925154098971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822695479924667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822508006232413,0.0,0.14671155441555614,0.13330552762456116,0.10742645275397664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24479423492230154,0.1349804429594873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627716417178383,0.08321285461410823,0.0,0.0,0.07572587762556215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817045289418635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362941157696155
mentalhealth,ShieldOfLannisport42,2019/02/05,"What the hell is wong with me? I'm new here, and don't know where exacty to write this, but I guess this subreddit is the most fitting. I don't have the money for a psychologist at the moment , and want to get this feeling off my chest. Let's just start. This is a long story, but I just want to know what is wrong with me? As a child I was very entuastic about fiction. I loved movies like Star Wars, James Bond and Indiana Jones, and would become obsessed with them. Looking back I think I acted like someone with aspergers. I could go into long monologues to my family members about the most trivial facts about whatever movie I was obsessed with at the time. I would read a ton of trivia online about my interests, and I could at times be a walking and talking encyclopedia about whatever fiction I was the most obsessed with at the time. 

This has carried  somwehat into my adolescence and early adulthood. I just turned 21. I had a few close friends in elementary school, even though my friends would often bully me if we were all together, but they would usually be decent to me when we were one on one. This bullying caused some mild anxiety and social struggles, and as I entered teenage school (I'm Norwegian and don't quite know the equivalent to British or American schools), when I was 13, the worst period of my life started. I struggled to make new friends, and by the last year, all my old friend had either abandoned me, or bullied me. I had a  weak friendship with a few people in my class, but it was only at school, and I think they only tolerated me because they knew I was lonely. The bullying continued, and I became extremely fragile, with zero self-esteem or confidence. I became chubby and very nerdy. I was socialy anxious and mildly depressed, which led to a strong lack of social skills. The summer between teenage school and high school I was completely friendless. 

When high school began, for some reason, I started to realise that my strong obsessions with fictional media was not socially ""cool"", so I toned it down. I made a few friends, and became a little more socially capable. One wasn't really my friend.  He teased and tormented me at times, and used me for money. Another friend of mine I am sure of was autistic, as his social skills were terrible, and he often even made me embarressed. My bully ""friend"" teased him more than me, and this made me tease him, since I just wanted to be the one not being bullied. I realize now that it was a horrible thing to do. Today I despise bullying, and if I was a teacher, I would seriously consider threatening a bully if I ever caught him. 

My life completely turned around around half-way into high school. Ever since my junior year, I had a crush on this girl. In the beginning she was quirky and had a ""goth"" style. But just one Facebook conversation with her in that year made me happier than I could ever remember. I began to get to know her more and more through my sophomore year. But at this point, my ""autistic"" friend had switched schools, and my bully ""friend"" started to target me more and more. My crush had started to become popular, and became known for being ""slutty"". I realize know that she often spoke to me  cause she thought my ""weirdness"" was amusing. But eventually we became friends. I started to fall for her more and more. One day she asked me to take MDMA with her and another female friend of hers. At that point I had only gotten drunk once with my dad. I was very excited, and to this day, taking MDMA with her is probably my most life-changing experience yet.

When the drug hit, I felt like I had never done before. I felt like a kid. Overwhelmed with euphoria, but also filled with confidence. I could say all sorts of things, and even complimented my crushes breasts, ass and face in ways I would never imagine doing. The drug clearly effected her to, as she let me touch her breasts, teased me sexually, and hugged me. The day was a blessing and a curse. It forever changed my social skills and confidence. Ever since they have improved (I had just turned 18). But it was also a curse. I soon felt feelings for so extreme I couldn't explain it. I fell deeply in love with her. I adored everything about her, and wanted to care for her and make her happy more than anything. I obviously was oblivous to the fact that I was friend-zoned. We were very close friends, and she would often ask me for advice. But her ""slutty"" reputation wasn't there for nothing. She has sex with numerous guys, and I hated them all. With a passion. When summer break came, we never talked in person. I longed for her so much. And just three days before senior year started, I saw on Facebook that she had gotten in  a relationship with some guy. I 

was devestated. I cried my self to sleep and drank alot of alcohol the following weeks. At the beginning of senior year I was too sad to talk to her, but we eventually started talking again. At the same time, something else changed. By chance I got in touch with some of my friends from elementary. We started hanging out everyday, and my self-esteem improved. I finally had friends I regularly hanged out with. Something that hadn't been since early teenage school. If it hadn't been for this, I probably would have sunken into a deep depression. I soon realised that my first love still was a slut. She told she me cheated with a jock that I completely depsised. The mere thought of him having sex with someone who I viewed as the sunshine of my life made me more enraged than I have ever been. I started having violent thought about brutally torturing him and killing him. And I enjoyed the thoughts. They made me feel strong. One night I got completely wasted, and since the jock in question was a foreigner, I went on a huge, psychotic rant about becoming a dictator and exterminating every single immigrant in Norway. I started to become obsessed with Adolf Hitler, and the pure controll and power he once had in Germany. I did not at all like the nazi ideology, but I soon became obsessed with one day taking power through force, and killing everyone I hated, even torturing them in ways too graphic to describe on her. My hate had never been so powerful, and I became meglo-maniacal. It didn't help that my first love finally confirmed that she would never, ever be romantically or sexually interested in me. We stayed friends, but I was an angry, young man.

The second half of senior year, my feeings for her started to lessen. I became interested in another girl, who went in my gym class. I soon became obsessed with her, and had delusional thoughts about her being my second hope after the first tragic failure. Me often getting drunk and being encouraged by my friends to write weird and dumb things to her on Facebook soon shattered any chance of anything happening. She finally blocked me, and my gym teacher even warned me to never talk to her again. I again was devestated. She seemed like a quite, shy girl, and I heard that nobody in her class liked her. I wanted to help her, much the way my first love had helped me. I became very bitter. As high school ended, I had a great time. My friendship with my first love slowly ended, which made me very sad, but I still had a lot of fun. I smoked a lot of weed at that time. On vacation in Spain with three other friends, I finally felt like my life was becoming normal. The  one day, I smoked way too much weed. I had heard about weed causing psychosis in some people, but I didn't really know much about what psychosis what at the time. 

​

I started to question if anything around me was real. I had a mild panic attack, and was derealized for a few days after. I rarely smoked after that. After the summer break, I didn't do much. I hanged out with my friends often, but also sat around on the internet for hours at time. I stayed up all night, and drank alot of coffee. I became ambitionless, and my mom urged me to get a job, but I just didn't care. My obsession with having power was still there, just not as powerful. Then one day in November I felt a very scary feeling from within me. It was like when i paniced on weed, and I instantly thought that I was becoming schizophrenic. These anxiety attacks followed me for weeks. It was truly a nightmarish time. I finally got a job at a sports shop in February 2018, through a government job program. My boss liked me, and soon started to become friendly with some of my collegues. My anxiety lessened, but I still sometimes was too scared to partake in small talk other collegues I didn't associate with as much. My first day there, I saw a girl. She wasn't a beauty, but she was cute, and seemed quite shy. I had a thing for shy girls, and soon starting to crush on her. I wanted to know more about her before ever trying to talk with her. For months I didn't find anything about her on Facebook. Untill I finally found out her full name. When I checked her FB profile i saw a picture of a baby girl, and a boyfriend. I again became devestated. I thought her boyfriend looked very unattractive, and my jealously and hate started to consume me. My anxiety returned with full force, and I soon became incredibly depressed. I became obsessed with her, and viewed myself as an obsessive, insane scumbag. 

​

After  a while, in September, my attention turned to a girl who had just started working there, but seemed to have worked there before. My obession with the former girl vanished, and I became enchanced by this new girl. I soon found out her name, and she seemed to be single. At the same time, I saw the movie ""GoodFellas"", for the first time. It was a blessing and a curse. The though guy attitudes and coldness of some of the characters inspired me. I became obsessed with being cool, taking no bullshit, and being masculine. To some extend, this greatly increased my confidence. But I soon had cold-hearted thoughts about coldly killing anyone who stood in my way of getting this new girl. I started to cry at the thought of us never being together. I soon dropped any sort of moral code. If I ever had to, I would become a criminal. The thought of robbing, beating up people I hated, and even coldly shooting them made me manic. I dreamed of becoming  a powerful crime lord, who would make a lot of money. In December I moved into an apartment with two friends. At this time I started having severe mood swings. Sometimes I was anxious of being psychotic, sometimes I was depressed, sometimes I was manicially obsessed with being cold and hard. Sometimes I was just purely happy. 

And here we are today. The thought of being a criminal scumbag enchances me. I'm still obsessed with this new girl, and view her as the only thing that can save me from the monster that is within me, and would finally heal the broken heart that started with my first love. I sometimes become very depressed and filled with hopelessness, but I rarely cry. I still have some moral code. I hate bullies, and hate people being assholes to weak people for no reason. This may seem hypocritical, and I guess it is. I sometimes get anxious, but I have started to drink a little too much alcohol, and sometimes take anxiety meds, and my fear of schizophrenia is nearly gone. I know believe that I probably am insane, but I'm content with it, I don't care anymore. Now I just want to be though and cool. I have a strong emotions for what could happen with her, even if we haven't really had one conversation as far as I recall. And I view people I hate with strong hatred, and I know it sounds crazy, but I would be happy if they died a humiliating death. I dream of becoming powerful, manly. I dream of falling for this girl, starting a family, raising a son to be a better man then I could ever be. I dream of so much beauty and joy, but I sometimes feel like I'm a coldhearted scumbag within, and I feel on edge of being emotionless psycho (Something I sometimes want to be). My first love changed me forever. And I don't know if she sendt me up to a heavenly place filled with carthasis, contentness, and happiness. Or if she sendt me down a dark path that will eventually lead to me destroying myself. 

​

The thing is /mentalhealth/

​

Who am I? What will happen if I go on like I do? Will my dreams ever come true? Will my life end with heart filled my hatred and sadness. Or will it end with joy and true happiness? Just how f\*cked up am I?",4.833596226487632,6.5348535650128365,5.208717717053856,81.113240164935,70.02224123182206,8.145292721138782,29.944070126200252,8.69554967338178,2.4132310742880203,9777,393,1778,169,178,3106,665,2338,0.196,0.642,0.162,-0.9985,11,3,11,1,0,1,349.0,11,0,10,34,111,158,30,20,116,3,174,39,8,23,32,406,340,169,6,42,61,3,15,12,21,19,13,5,0,22,77,167,7,3,56,14,6,27,31,71,0,27,136,39,347,86,285,153,58,305,7,13,11,16,182,101,3,54,179,1324,424,28,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018728568038729604,0.0,0.040964757606022265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045980576587776885,0.0,0.08306441253825772,0.09315403046271094,0.02606676082475625,0.0602909409217563,0.07330880564945594,0.06495559229863063,0.01900729324622324,0.013401151588903438,0.0,0.06308718073825614,0.06824639257057244,0.0358348143955059,0.04360765909939281,0.0,0.014737293634155681,0.0,0.011683275134333615,0.23283795173378966,0.06523463252582616,0.021593258965000625,0.0,0.016950565542152525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0219205343712474,0.058622337696254474,0.05906557387545025,0.0810993709279045,0.01650961328254486,0.08037977827604738,0.0,0.021496040077484818,0.09181384398520626,0.0,0.06315809318309623,0.11124302145025068,0.0,0.08253724548994336,0.0,0.019891042749609844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019613236306410133,0.0,0.018775157524706668,0.04445241554351435,0.0,0.016010541033602287,0.02155891092988865,0.06790073193694281,0.0,0.0,0.08861166951152885,0.17336535680833254,0.01614798733005308,0.01831371399009183,0.017224957718318376,0.018747800093337742,0.03613556335589533,0.0215668189729908,0.0581447332451679,0.01369202948690902,0.09201072107686864,0.1469661449150891,0.017517166011913308,0.14672154292629386,0.0,0.042028553794590216,0.32576336965879404,0.0,0.06007994083267011,0.0,0.021784696847591326,0.0,0.04598584984004578,0.04226065684319223,0.04222651151807354,0.05693137482379825,0.05084467974623209,0.10201158954712028,0.017168764839190914,0.1513778350264535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813458704602791,0.038539233689723285,0.08099875056788139,0.0,0.019035933506523325,0.018874422206059126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705720640016376,0.0,0.06361225257929085,0.0,0.1053300563256646,0.015622660079938075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039196595458619636,0.08122409834656907,0.11236112192517984,0.03841827192868393,0.0,0.05088330841497085,0.0321888385426722,0.0,0.0,0.048882155301469526,0.13838284130103606,0.14508091530088632,0.03837989969194144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0212888491869348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02244671747982375,0.015297934280792328,0.02037017974457491,0.11271236598945265,0.0,0.10347276023963846,0.09255209756674224,0.0,0.03597155250901899,0.018778384731173416,0.018390072640336347,0.0,0.02011125095299892,0.040821837810084784,0.14285943493358272,0.05830572507706714,0.0,0.044973801783974136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972278782787,0.016734810579505502,0.02002414979406712,0.0,0.036235694009105056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061991823002122574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429400960346424,0.06115546474553856,0.019170955926656238,0.02181484149499661,0.036834247930387067,0.03941120598955111,0.0,0.020576863743696636,0.021711080583646784,0.0,0.0,0.015241389082362526,0.019188278662168132,0.21336460025790654,0.0,0.08723898321656921,0.059982232141018686,0.02165186409954354,0.0,0.07927061249507518,0.0,0.01917961068671374,0.11722252978956188,0.032478188430062914,0.04426423691037002,0.18955436001351147,0.0,0.29844386495129754,0.04085632018144921,0.09183484918854402,0.0,0.0,0.04007244701739515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018063510839359663,0.0,0.07205136688656613,0.10783303618556864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639731339429101,0.024561302299837214,0.05649081336866425,0.16737028070634782,0.14528428541355098,0.0,0.036333816788028564,0.01831371399009183,0.0,0.013012299346599431,0.0833874140599976,0.01872217180591529,0.0,0.023054060765967308,0.01655307114854708,0.02110838727158389,0.14232390259043212,0.09043573886776224,0.09127737392649578,0.030747248298197083,0.0,0.0,0.03553372048978619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027905816768843773,0.0,0.0,0.17699256493139434,0.020954760143026108,0.09315403046271094,0.08639488982184883
mentalhealth,13040213,2019/02/05,"Always wanting a break, but panic when during said break because i'm not doing something. Using an old throw away just for safety reasons.

So this has been going on for a long while (easily 5 or 6 years, but has gotten worse over time) and I'm curious if others have had the same issues and if so how they overcame it. 

I'm always feeling like I need to take a break from work, family, and just life in general because its got me running ragged. I'm constantly going and doing things and by the time I sit down (around 9 or so at night) I'm so emotionally and physically wiped out that I don't have any energy to do anything so I sit for like an hour and then go to sleep for the night.

However when I do manage to get a brake, such as over the holidays, I'm in a constant panic because I feel guilty for relaxing and not doing something. So During that break, I spend that time doing more errands, applying to jobs (recent graduate), and doing the exact same things I was excited to have a break from because I feel lazy and useless if I do nothing and actually take time to get my crap together. So after that ""break"" that I had its right back into the fray and I feel just as burnt out if not more so than before I decided to take time off. 

Anyone have any tips on how to break this cycle so I can actually relax and gather my thoughts? I'm living with parents who are also workaholics and will rag on me for taking time off so it's kind of like an endless loop in a sense and I'm just trying to figure out how to actually gather my thoughts and learn its okay to step back from life for a bit.",7.481747967479677,5.28994067073171,8.191658536585367,75.27935772357725,64.54878048780488,11.063739837398376,33.14715447154472,9.558583805096642,2.8128749593495934,1252,37,256,19,15,424,160,328,0.087,0.809,0.105,0.6398,3,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,1,24,12,1,2,17,1,22,4,2,5,1,58,51,44,0,6,15,1,4,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,16,22,0,1,10,3,1,6,4,4,0,0,9,5,20,8,47,41,5,56,0,1,0,0,6,19,1,6,25,178,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.2901870195434144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926801855690613,0.1649552863980699,0.0,0.0,0.13481304286152584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930857407617842,0.0,0.0815691567707366,0.08823980766746392,0.0,0.0,0.09312860625767118,0.15243776637390466,0.0,0.24169598701378275,0.0,0.08434572452139656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821581233540956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142318526458187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149917716199688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344362508779902,0.0,0.2004767289103352,0.07081294720465914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357455730748537,0.0,0.16900035774969396,0.0,0.07927710935762518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761543856401952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345786454162484,0.0983635271971712,0.0,0.0,0.1032205583696872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002593731535234,0.14527835706078804,0.0,0.0875267528644679,0.08772006214352036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734978840972664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18603901277938514,0.0,0.09511046147067337,0.0,0.10401211546586164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23259718030597956,0.11006351586189388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191417027250567,0.09787125261953436,0.0,0.0,0.08464985034094205,0.09428794786359317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991938236959481,0.0,0.0,0.1526182842061722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981103506526993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317048220192671,0.0,0.0,0.15738397109221025,0.34679384738711183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729749359092138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560978885107914,0.0,0.0,0.05846486461320515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216217038695295,0.0,0.10101402958751238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383147193728647
mentalhealth,plumbmyarse,2019/02/05,"Do I need treatment? I feel like I am a major disappointment and not worthy of anyone’s love, including my own and hate myself so much that I don’t feel like I’m even worth dying, so I don’t kill myself because I would be doing myself a favour.

Is this depression or what?

I certainly don't want to harm anyone or myself and seem to be feeling quite happy.",3.9189189189189193,4.607055216216222,5.649567567567567,80.91840540540544,71.16216216216216,8.082162162162161,24.259459459459467,8.238735603445708,1.3978032432432428,282,7,56,4,5,97,50,74,0.21600000000000005,0.503,0.281,0.5854,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,11,2,0,2,0,10,1,0,0,1,14,19,7,2,3,3,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,0,3,12,6,3,16,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302698085258104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396647243233152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20341207308469775,0.0,0.2451062073550464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15598744272394133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582425321486357,0.3374384601928986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514063655174115,0.0,0.23316806142352506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26128608351158594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307605555250824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315180544630774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361143969080348,0.1751163721906629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25119487552771663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499945054558028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929863583737553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776773060994152,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bethesdasbitch,2019/02/05,"How to handle an anxiety attack Firstly, I’m by no means a mental health expert, these are just steps that have helped me. 

• Find a small quiet place, a bathroom is ideal, Try to focus on the small details of the room as you slow your breathing

• Reassure yourself, It’s hard, But the more you reassure yourself, the less anxious you become, though it may take some time (Think if times you were proud of yourself, or made someone laugh, cheered someone up or just felt genuinely happy)

• Hold your pet, Talk to him/her, Even cry, patting a cat or dog can lower blood pressure, reduce stress & can even release endorphins

• Sit outside, cover your face with your hands, and just listen, listen to your breathing, the wind, the birds (Covering your face offers your privacy & Darkness, which can be calming as it reminds you of sleep)

• Push yourself to exercise, You may not feel like it, or you may not think it’ll help, But just a 15 minute walk should help clear your mind 

•Go for a drive, Driving is one way to distract your mind, focus on the road, on where you’re going, on getting there

• Eat? Honestly my favourite way to ward off an anxiety attack, Is sugar, Icecream, Cookies, Brownies, Even cake, Sugar triggers a type of “reward” system in your brain, Which releases endorphins and makes you feel good, Unless you’re on a diet then, you’ll probably feel guilty, But it’s for your mental health! Or even eat healthy, Salads, Feeling as if you’re taking care of your body by eating good foods can bring you a kind of mental peace. 
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mentalhealth,Kodaklamp,2019/02/05,"Anti depressant in uk Hi, for a long time I've turned away anti depressants but recently I think I might benefit from them. I'm wondering if anyone in the UK could tell me a bit more about what they have been offered/what the have taken and how they have felt.
also I want to know how long you have been on them as I don't want to depend on them forever.


Only reason I say the UK is because I heard the UK and the likes of USA have didnt medication. But if I'm wrong please give me your input.",2.390943396226416,3.4331969150943418,4.271839622641512,88.03530660377363,75.13207547169809,7.941509433962264,21.740566037735853,8.472884824447931,1.0047396226415093,387,9,88,7,8,132,69,106,0.104,0.769,0.127,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,5,0,4,5,0,0,7,0,12,1,0,4,0,18,24,10,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,3,15,2,12,16,2,9,0,2,0,0,12,5,0,5,5,57,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576126629300467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378097891546092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851723796615141,0.0,0.0,0.12014412882479375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21517104456291594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736018899988166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395063572831964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923714111354772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890665204599403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831541422083632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962881337657204,0.0,0.0,0.3488365885392721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985472651519919,0.0,0.2090811599163844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498956941512127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163454443744781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026411667578684,0.1946024264324212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673374052442984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17226519532060747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628720259033158,0.0,0.0,0.11492466270239746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21437713530663585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23249737201180715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21373550939362465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154867854406631,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xFadedDreams,2019/02/05,"Tired So tired. Tired of wanting, of dreaming because I then realise it can never be. Tired of existing because it's so painful and it's such hard work. Tired of getting older because it makes me want to kick my younger self for becoming this person. Tired of having mental problems, tired of ruminating, tired of the constant anxiety involving the basics of living. Tired of chronic illness, tired of vomiting, tired of sleeping. Tired of going to the doctor's, tired of reaching out for help, tired of falling through the cracks. Tired of people pretending they care, tired of people not caring at all. Tired of taking about it. Tired of fighting suicide.",5.063053613053612,7.851687846153853,4.79578865578866,79.62370629370633,72.24786324786325,6.647707847707848,32.858585858585855,7.686295010490155,2.6794683760683764,526,26,81,7,11,161,68,117,0.46,0.478,0.061,-0.9964,0,0,0,0,2,1,18.0,0,0,1,1,4,5,1,0,4,0,3,24,1,1,2,9,11,4,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,23,0,0,2,6,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,1,4,2,26,10,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,51,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0358746614256008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576054460439908,0.051792008858215985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956254617345082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050676997389747264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047999173187164235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024500780371784315,0.0,0.026651594468873056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04200884329277739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031432830566814535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041409276647379686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031302876800838514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04725928138683588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03616843070783805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049899746000191716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502238478020797,0.04094703618771737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044872325263269605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048921868947558594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04692901716001404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051295682756732894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0352593166592735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.970183375555306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055319949014185986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034140227750203214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tempymctemptemps,2019/02/05,"Any idea what’s going on with me? Ever since I have started my current job (which I hate) I feel like I have this constant feeling of dread, like when you hit a sibling too hard and they threaten to tell your parents, I can’t get to sleep easily on a night, it’s a nightmare waking up (I was 3 hours late to work today) it’s driving me crazy. Any help would be great. I’ve tried googling it thousands of times, would it be worth speaking to my GP about it?",0.7381250000000001,2.7991382291666684,2.043583333333334,97.50975,83.375,4.256666666666667,22.1,4.935628992294339,-0.17206749999999982,354,12,80,1,10,113,70,96,0.096,0.722,0.183,0.8205,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,1,1,4,5,1,1,3,0,8,2,2,0,1,8,15,2,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,0,3,0,1,2,1,2,0,1,1,4,13,3,11,9,0,15,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,12,48,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766153354306079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197851725682538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839719044801278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567348839727748,0.14529712205937384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625941787069948,0.0,0.11558745764889125,0.0,0.0,0.22423088635345906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821915533291594,0.200798973902587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363235875500727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20029165360007026,0.0,0.0,0.22959507181311184,0.0,0.0,0.2018266147863082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294253031058265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19872568517204509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908615176649026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258331665288637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16824082756220252,0.0,0.20353025368979286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395579797043587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776603218148251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859448015821265,0.0,0.1927836562790259,0.0,0.0,0.13808395959442113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480655175737775,0.0,0.0,0.288955425153636,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whoyuuuuu,2019/02/05,"Was anyone else hesitant to see a therapist at first? English isnt my first language so bear with me please. 

Ive always thought that the things Im feeling were things people usually feel throughout the course of their lives. It wasnt until I was with my recent boyfriend that I realized it wasnt. He talked to be about mental health and things like that and I felt like a new realization dawned upon me? Kind of?

My parents never believed in mental health issues and the like. Their reasoning is that, if they dont have it then it must not exist. And such, I was never educated on it. I live in a small town as well, in a developing country where such a thing is almost unheard of. People dont talk about it much.

But my issues have been too much to bear recently that I cant go several days without being crippled by my thoughts. It affects me and my boyfriend's relationship as well so he adviced me to see a therapist.

Ive never been to one, never met anyone who's been to one. And Im anxious. What if I really dont have issues and the things Im feeling are due to my very weak mental fortitude like my parents told me? Im uncomfortable talking about my feelings as well since I was not raised to talk about them. I just, am scared. To be frank. 

I would appreciate some inputs and thoughts. Thank you.",2.8180185861267835,4.762168488549623,4.120547626949886,85.8094673083306,75.94656488549619,6.999269830733489,25.51344175240624,7.893859768569023,1.4593970793229345,1032,37,207,16,23,339,132,262,0.05,0.841,0.109,0.9015,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,4,2,14,11,0,1,10,0,29,3,0,2,5,36,43,18,0,4,7,2,5,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,19,10,0,0,10,0,0,1,14,2,3,4,16,7,31,9,30,22,3,24,0,0,2,0,17,9,0,4,18,152,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740085457429595,0.0,0.0,0.07931507704060976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590715742915675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948216334348574,0.0,0.11076774082415856,0.08115765616516361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923996183151309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05108241833112637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784925281213312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616787549560613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019918635757574,0.0,0.07605182015645331,0.0,0.0,0.1347480702382948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501556523591845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838817726382754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422316627248227,0.2480168019292661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248263804022031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478753883640936,0.0,0.1398837128839996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23946821644270194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645355681536418,0.0,0.2443594665844133,0.07649929700440022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734638436264056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17590157006817111,0.0,0.0,0.10982530172020173,0.0,0.0,0.08694627666861249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074248533964694,0.08143871483091203,0.15641610996614647,0.08503943467153616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930073261288613,0.0,0.1262365748606161,0.0,0.0,0.08948216334348574,0.0,0.06552143374825653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25465661823902025,0.0,0.07292381472344962,0.0,0.18393250554341706,0.2631104049025637,0.0,0.0,0.1886462153368404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568635841945014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723609889059136,0.06535465358511756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136517231946746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635340302370347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056266882479531835,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,persephonespom,2019/02/05,"i’m terrified i might be becoming depressed again i’ve made an account just for this question. there seems to be many people on here who understand and have experienced mental health issues. i am diagnosed with major depressive disorder. i have suffered from this for around 4 years. back in the fall of 2018, right around halloween, i hit my breaking point and asked my parents to admit me to take me to the emergency room because i was certain that if i didn’t get immediate help i would commit suicide. i was admitted to a psych unit for about 5 days and during that time i started antidepressants (prozac). since then, my life has completely turned around and i’ve grown much happier, even so far to call myself normal. i have been confident, motivated, adventurous, haven’t even thought about self harm or suicide, which used to be the main constant thought in my mind. 

but today and yesterday i have felt very unhappy. for no seeming reason. i am not in a bad mood or are affected by an environmental issue, i am just beginning to feel very tired of life again. i have thought more about death, self harm and all the drugs i used to do more in the past two days than i have felt in the past month. it feels like i’m slipping back into my depression. and i’m terrified. like seriously i know it’s only been 2 days of feeling down but i’m scared shitless that this might advance to a full fledged depressive episode again. and i don’t think i can handle that. any suggestions as to what might have “triggered” this? or how i can identify the source? what should i do?",4.997481818181818,6.509241796666667,5.304181818181821,81.32209090909092,69.36666666666667,9.054545454545458,30.63636363636364,9.457814108942452,2.7463,1249,51,239,27,22,396,174,300,0.2,0.7140000000000001,0.086,-0.9916,2,0,1,0,0,3,31.0,0,0,0,2,19,15,0,1,12,0,31,7,0,8,3,56,60,18,3,4,9,1,5,2,0,5,7,0,1,2,14,13,0,0,18,0,1,3,5,10,0,1,11,6,29,4,37,40,7,40,0,5,0,0,11,17,0,10,21,160,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390652184682408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509741970108595,0.08785435077412224,0.0,0.0,0.14452262541186506,0.07846556715580706,0.05728655605767845,0.10378849035353882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595943146173293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853146102377552,0.10155406539898536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181915347828526,0.0,0.3237636355381917,0.0953830935693548,0.0,0.0,0.10770399604480284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898167532874757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413978381111128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255041853459086,0.06713607320948695,0.18046231969279367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04909828877718301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989149837360316,0.0,0.0,0.06298975660510082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617188782976436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05164644422801036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327552651023117,0.09182330633406467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892183368663742,0.0,0.0952763462681203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947051403964744,0.2990792735021094,0.09488840514954704,0.0,0.0750102997376066,0.0,0.06908276145181094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207597845690696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147255691803725,0.0,0.0,0.10434860502616476,0.0,0.17942038230274068,0.06515073757806315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883716647403422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527400024081278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966224040460341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025451240204393,0.0,0.0,0.09408580972302397,0.0,0.0,0.17110342245606672,0.19607375868508356,0.0,0.0,0.07773745519491518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665163002163523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20558775735267915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065783559354745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021566747642398,0.0,0.22381800692553025,0.05479783487307651,0.10801094408925092,0.08907772898799994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022182931397122,0.09180034984618443,0.09783174740223458,0.0,0.1623292146037557,0.0,0.1550791600309713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675745638466822,0.0,0.0,0.06051710234098289
mentalhealth,cacla0204,2019/02/05,Suicidal but no practical plans - no help? Genuine question. What do you do when your mental health is so poor that you want to die and feel absolute despair but because you haven’t put actual plans in place to kill yourself no support services deem it serious enough to help you?,5.449807692307693,7.364914365384622,5.364615384615386,79.75538461538463,68.80769230769229,9.046153846153846,34.153846153846146,9.516144504307137,3.4503307692307685,225,11,39,5,4,70,41,52,0.399,0.456,0.145,-0.9726,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,5,0,2,2,4,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,7,5,3,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,4,3,0,0,0,1,5,1,4,7,1,4,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,1,1,25,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.2512950016514244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697719754488645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26725726401010425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660791951633975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020603058467714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737236893322728,0.0,0.0,0.345210330184542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28489936895832896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595119789984463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269045698380787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588711346464981,0.2884728751280461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816768210526421,0.2922220731909552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15188751315591828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skyrimisdope123,2019/02/05,Snow day blues Does anyone else get paralyzed by anxiety whenever they have to take an impromptu day off work because of being sick or inclement weather? There is such a stigma on calling in sick that I get worried that my supervisor and coworkers think I'm dishonest. I feel like I have to explain myself when I call in and then I over explain because I'm so nervous. I live in the seattle area and we just experienced a freak snow dump on Sunday and Monday. I took Monday off. Tuesday (today) I attempted to go to work and was having trouble. I have a little car that needs new breaks and tires. I can't afford to repair my own car or someone else's car if I get in a crash. Insurance doesn't cover everything. I decided to go home. My supervisor was totally okay with it but I'm still super paranoid and anxious that I had to stay home today. Whats worse is just in the second week of January I got so sick and had to take 3 days off work. I work really hard at my job and I hate the notion that people think I'm just using excuses to take days off. Feels awful. ,2.5344894494300263,4.3964142995391695,4.579417899587682,82.57258549599806,76.51152073732719,7.7020616056269695,25.706766917293233,8.532816995589336,1.9169502304147463,841,31,165,17,19,289,124,217,0.198,0.763,0.039,-0.9833,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,1,6,9,8,2,1,8,2,13,4,0,1,1,28,36,17,0,2,7,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,2,0,7,11,0,0,7,0,0,6,2,5,0,1,6,5,23,3,26,29,2,38,0,0,1,0,7,15,0,3,16,103,30,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525925055468668,0.14067480222614642,0.0,0.08706891659325271,0.12758785442353884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181532743046214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543024665810981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212264356363537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089703403478502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804487623613765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191265145753687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592447486509134,0.0889587857789158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517335217739115,0.0,0.14153783279362406,0.0,0.09959189197611376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154755946723843,0.12294003247171628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24981212327795002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356921000762958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608353262797737,0.12480409955907355,0.10995550906094766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923317385409164,0.0,0.1202644535450502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863281128978257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977220065877658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550737601754427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272424800908136,0.0994437029199314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808759118464508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595777771170768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431201137878936,0.23606523980005545,0.0,0.13834890338070993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754732245461868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998843114260605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626149911959717,0.12645848243716545,0.1268989044160181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IfiniteGamer2003,2019/02/05,Brain Maturity is it possible for the brain to fully mature before age 25 if so what's the earliest age a brain can develop,3.66,5.351617599999997,6.749000000000002,68.93950000000001,73.0,11.4,28.5,11.20814326018867,4.0318000000000005,100,4,18,4,2,37,21,25,0.0,0.877,0.123,0.4754,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23411453184749065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9214049309967038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101666312045669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,5bazwap9,2019/02/05,"Podcasts about mental health/suicide survivors? Last month, someone I grew up with took their own life. I didn’t expect to still feel shock like this still after a few weeks, but here we are.

I’m having a really hard time gripping why someone would think it’s best to commit suicide, what goes through someone’s mind leading up to it, etc. I’m searching for an overall better understanding of depression. 

Any suggestions for podcasts or even just episodes that shed light on this subject? Ideally firsthand cases?",6.438819875776397,8.535142260869566,5.440062111801243,79.46891304347827,66.6086956521739,7.431055900621117,34.88198757763975,7.957251820313856,2.8478118012422367,416,20,66,5,7,124,75,92,0.142,0.685,0.173,0.5107,0,0,0,0,0,3,12.0,1,0,1,4,6,6,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,1,14,10,2,1,3,3,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,2,4,4,4,13,7,4,13,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,8,41,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236023237454823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907448120517536,0.1607510272484916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654872359007382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027092832020838,0.12005007708831908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190279005742368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282032464488785,0.0,0.0,0.19320127217984415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815780924588165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838172679326249,0.08879824553812493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317027879726672,0.0,0.18352473322047436,0.0,0.14507826563673445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643944225166016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4620113240752402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903058761777472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976295972314185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646380073399575,0.0,0.0,0.105985109669524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194088934171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892174846251343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579607201624842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400918816759674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911634834798538,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,omgwtf56k,2019/02/05,"SO with head injury My SO had a serious concussion about 5 weeks ago, after the ER visit, we sent home with pain relievers and a rest order. In the weeks since the pain has moved on but now she is acting weird sometimes child-like and other times angry as she will forget really huge things that were said or not said or done and not done etc. I've made it a point to be clear when there is a misunderstanding on her part but I am hesitant to bring up the possible bigger issue that she is not functioning correctly.

Has anyone been through this?",6.49722222222222,6.183748351851853,6.726296296296297,78.89833333333333,65.48148148148148,10.533333333333337,27.259259259259267,10.125756701596842,2.3138592592592597,434,10,87,9,6,140,81,108,0.195,0.736,0.069,-0.9195,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,8,0,13,3,1,1,2,17,18,11,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,4,1,0,9,2,7,1,12,7,3,20,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,2,7,64,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651932640878381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030438048657295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814135806596984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078360929920975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19125492033110889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693016541043772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19450714612513836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17633446147606271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980668328694104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965916400805717,0.0,0.0,0.2018052828822033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761665640461505,0.21008828033445365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938436348590092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545342779729351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415552885044514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843107533425828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238065814299698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086656257725172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29896692941529823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KelpFriess,2019/02/05,"I'm so emotionally numb I don't even have anxiety attacks anymore I still have small bursts of anxiety, still feel awkward, and I still do cry, but now there's just like a huge blocky feeling and it's like i'm incpable of feeling anything else. It's just like a small spark of emotion that fades so quickly I don't even really remember how it felt. I feel disconnected to the world sometimes, like everything is just passing by and my mind can't really connect with anyhing or anyone else....",3.9496875,5.926726260416667,4.946250000000003,80.97375000000002,72.85416666666666,8.55,31.79166666666667,9.188382445141503,2.991816666666667,395,19,74,9,8,129,60,96,0.073,0.68,0.247,0.9449,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,14,7,1,1,3,0,7,1,0,1,0,17,14,8,0,0,5,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,5,6,4,6,13,0,11,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,10,45,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24673880736879664,0.0,0.15993429525054986,0.11276217540037868,0.1652378895062532,0.1327096349281862,0.0,0.0,0.18346537129828908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17714507429254214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694370590928818,0.3628090734724935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21303168406710704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449370742963184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32616732302463,0.1152097280854896,0.15484235067344912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31514914855530474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283447680404825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066245276665415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268494768256405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949794948554194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863659515888393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fitz206,2019/02/05,Brightside Health App Has anyone here had any experience with the Brightside Health app? Did it help? Thanks! ,4.108333333333333,6.696841499999998,1.898333333333337,89.46750000000002,106.22222222222223,4.022222222222221,21.166666666666668,5.985473137389443,0.570733333333334,89,3,14,1,4,24,15,18,0.0,0.7190000000000001,0.281,0.7393,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24467686636620706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251581068972506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519542001353255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7649028015406827,0.0,0.0,0.24116687646132764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312562145833183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,turbofruit,2019/02/05,"i think i'm slowly dying i've been suffering for months now & 
i'm pretty sure i'm dying from somethimg but idk what. i've been to the er & walk in clinic countless times and they never find anything fatal though? like they said my heart is healthy, even though it hurts. my arms feel dead, and i always feel sick and weak, every day. i do struggle with anxiety & depression & panic attacks. so is it just my mental illnesses?? my family always says it is but it's so hard to believe. i just hope it is. i'm always afraid i'm dying of cancer or i have a tumor or something. also i'm sorry if this is not even detail,, i'm very bad at explaining things ",1.6134643458731084,3.580570649635036,3.5929927007299263,88.07276810780462,79.72992700729927,5.9672094329028615,20.02751263335205,7.010146845296331,0.4590015721504774,517,13,105,6,13,175,87,137,0.354,0.545,0.101,-0.9938,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,0,10,13,1,3,2,0,9,7,2,0,2,20,22,13,5,2,8,0,3,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,8,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,10,1,0,3,5,11,3,8,19,0,8,0,3,0,0,5,2,0,4,6,58,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801683580164806,0.3059568445605758,0.5312054451414008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376346752556107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086224925549893,0.0,0.0,0.13943772823769915,0.0,0.0,0.10233837776947237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809110773249192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904561575584204,0.0,0.10556683155024232,0.0,0.3816157808832951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190877798226586,0.0,0.10326803664382443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554531857468245,0.0,0.12394717931260718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202407486706106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979601360245454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524255950019846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173674890383965,0.0,0.0,0.13121057566982136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059880075759842666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351877117462515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978318601317906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453127481517642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380603959218832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469476647467953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165893442534522,0.09747024778319696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943581129924834,0.0,0.1372037920392257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813370615229708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155180061234902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081428110284353,0.07853602477130818,0.24084303369652985,0.0,0.07146983994972682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113066303279412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,katiecarr,2019/02/05,"Blog to expand conversation on mental health Hi everyone, 

I'm new to Reddit. My goal is to expand the conversation about mental health. I've created a blog where I talk about travel and mental health/wellness. I want to use my writing to help people if I can. I have seven years sober from drugs and alcohol, I have dealt with BPD and severe depression, I watched my dad pass away from cancer, and life has just thrown some difficult shit my way!  I want the blog to have a larger focus on mental health moving forward. If you have time, please check it out. I would greatly appreciate any feedback. 

​

Blog: [http://baggageclaimblog.com/](http://baggageclaimblog.com/)

IG: carr.in.drive

​

Also, if no one told you today, you're freaking awesome. We can heal ourselves through speaking our truths and being HEARD. I'm here to listen. ",5.567214611872146,8.786652068493153,4.8553150684931525,77.58854337899545,72.83561643835617,6.633059360730593,25.486757990867577,7.793537801064563,1.746865388127854,686,23,106,10,15,206,96,146,0.136,0.7120000000000001,0.152,-0.2498,0,0,2,0,0,0,45.0,2,2,0,1,6,6,1,0,4,0,10,9,1,1,1,19,18,9,0,6,4,1,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,5,1,4,1,4,0,2,2,4,16,2,17,14,1,14,0,1,1,0,15,6,1,4,5,64,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445790306801947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313120966092556,0.0,0.25236381729666724,0.2830177931290629,0.07919525420425842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094158768278852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14667444210004074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030487764613108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505400124815342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128035774141637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839506542588755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4951565116000701,0.0,0.0,0.0780591658322778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225754322799042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4694480282388585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377614341141527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247560743296177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891477608105145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073713096852035,0.0,0.0,0.12783562287865258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156409366605232,0.11954219279092225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360431711421524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790744257711374,0.0,0.11038831698666884,0.11128035774141637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058209274896512,0.0,0.0,0.13737958039612574,0.09243873043021994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272823454678803,0.0,0.2830177931290629,0.07499496397389119
mentalhealth,johnnyp146,2019/02/05,"Meditation induced schizophrenia? Around 2 years ago a friend of mine approached me with a life-changing practice. He preached ""meditation is increasing my awareness"" ""I'm discovering my true self"". I admit I was very inclined by the idea at this time. Being an avid fan of superheroes and other protagonist fantasies, of course, id like to see something more out of my everyday routine. This idea then transformed into an obsession of becoming more than he was. Through an obsession with meditation, a persona of self-importance was birthed. Everyone wants to be more. And for my friend, meditation allowed his imagination to finally let him become more.",7.225855855855857,9.875191585585586,7.079459459459461,66.27342342342342,65.57657657657657,10.699099099099099,41.162162162162154,10.746095033038511,5.447043243243245,530,32,77,16,9,168,78,111,0.042,0.8009999999999999,0.157,0.9042,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,7,0,7,0,0,2,1,15,11,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,1,10,4,19,5,5,13,1,0,1,0,8,4,0,0,8,53,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172778500346941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351377969593074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.430531906419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061919736799498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18624760166803503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135175236253568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011784022671519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400658144304237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199311617011976,0.13767272550397303,0.09522458365816468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532032324952694,0.0,0.40667326809494186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005345117657715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365526290620515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16082353203751645,0.1149646617168296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551749887230498
mentalhealth,melancholy_pumpkin,2019/02/05,"Anxiety over losing photos. Hello.
So it’s kind of silly, but I just need to talk about this somewhere since my husband keeps asking me to do this and doesn’t really understand why I’m struggling.

So a while back I used Dropbox to keep my pictures safe and while transferring some I lost a folder full of newborn pictures of my daughter. Now I use Google Photos which I prefer much more, but ever since I lost those photos I get super bad anxiety and intrusive thoughts about losing my other pictures. Like to the point that I’m hoarding them on my phone and stuff. I need to go through my pictures and organize them/delete them off my phone but I’m so nervous to do so because I don’t wanna loose anything. I also need to go through my Snapchat as well (which seems like a chore, tbh). Now since I have so much to do I’m overwhelmed with all of it, plus my anxiety about losing them on top of it and I just feel like I can’t do anything now. I feel stuck. How can I get over these feelings and just get it done with and just be okay with what happens and trust myself?",4.639078341013825,5.159437124423963,5.028271889400923,86.61955069124426,69.46082949308756,7.6746543778801835,28.86405529953917,7.447530270364453,1.5412543778801844,844,29,174,8,14,268,111,217,0.163,0.7020000000000001,0.135,-0.5659,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,7,20,19,0,3,4,1,11,0,0,3,2,40,38,23,0,5,7,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,14,13,0,3,7,0,0,2,3,9,1,0,5,3,29,10,29,32,6,17,0,6,0,0,11,8,0,2,10,124,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729950646965753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792317985121324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002481919297912,0.0,0.1137450858774588,0.0,0.0,0.093556769208694,0.1015894215359644,0.07416894190200789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451071873207725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005753891005574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456012087292933,0.08692111825311874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070276056408836,0.0,0.1382958028689798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759243604681737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629188711906533,0.0,0.12670064888379914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783255428870036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083530398936067,0.2656344957904139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888299360816134,0.2706504330278253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501753801219285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794495873634599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076385693880207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019402035002658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719596861886248,0.13928311432586235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779378891138464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659244038321396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266628278708626,0.0,0.21016774118559992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939599980102196,0.0,0.10978830847090104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nyikol,2019/02/05,"bad anxiety day i'm having a bad anxiety day.   


 little bit of a backstory

ive been struggling with severe anxiety for most of my life but only got diagnosed very recently with it as well as depression and i am taking some light meds   
overall im in a moment of uncertainty in my life: i should graduate my master's this upcoming semester but i am very dissatisfied with my thesis topic and my advisor is of no help whatsoever. thought about changing the topic however i handed in my proposal already last semester and it got approved (i even received a good grade for it, but i doubt my advisor even read it lmao), so ive already done part of the work and while i dont like the topic, the thought of starting from zero again feeds my anxiety even more. so basically im stuck

i have a constant fear that my final thesis is not going to be approved and that im gonna have to take one extra semester to graduate, which is not the end of the world but it would take a toll on my mental health. uncertainty triggers my anxiety so badly and today is one of those *bad bad bad bad* days. nothing i do helps me. i feel like a worthless person, i feel like most of the choices i made were wrong, i want to change my thesis topic, i want to drop out, i want to just not wake up ever again. all of these thoughts keep popping up in my head and i hate it. i hate feeling this way.

i feel terrible cause i dont know where my life is going and i feel helpless all the time. like im trying to stay afloat but anxiety keeps coming in waves when i least expect it and i feel like im drowning. and depression just weighs me down even more. 

i literally made this reddit account just now to post this lol cause my family is sick of hearing me complain and most of the friends that i would be willing to open up to are in a different timezone and are already sleeping now. 

if anyone has made it this far in this mess of a post thank you for reading and i hope your day is going well 

  


​",3.2494679826673085,4.632536604477611,4.907220349863586,82.97721954742418,73.50248756218906,8.17217140105922,27.893115069812232,8.748949900417786,2.118878093403948,1553,60,314,30,31,526,189,402,0.262,0.648,0.09,-0.9977,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,4,20,31,2,3,18,1,29,12,4,6,3,65,65,26,1,9,12,0,7,5,1,5,6,1,0,1,20,19,2,2,10,2,1,5,6,20,2,3,12,9,47,11,46,46,12,48,0,4,0,0,9,18,0,7,25,215,67,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118144116918226,0.0,0.0,0.06932356292227151,0.07774411561955763,0.0,0.0,0.2936724854883985,0.0,0.0,0.04473711651070121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739511878040877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985085855940805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145255678004344,0.1353671728163443,0.05511410628168752,0.0,0.06914090702245061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505022733330374,0.0,0.11021376315191984,0.0649395332238305,0.0,0.06684669719777536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654749431025265,0.14997089206928396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666831942898465,0.0,0.0,0.16903581784835012,0.05787462454253376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031574590093844,0.07199659572232625,0.1941047893097944,0.13712446598940245,0.0,0.07008823622973576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04943168749566667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090859074187308,0.05366436360477175,0.10234316100820393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633630396964826,0.06566313137093158,0.06800898392642367,0.07211142023472232,0.0,0.08577044922208664,0.0,0.0,0.06354773091862168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455531740345869,0.0,0.0,0.1137387941124338,0.0,0.0,0.03516237370094218,0.05215318695312659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355753618299473,0.1562898211114106,0.06412593335771567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18162156909343316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106864810359033,0.0,0.06447796334863606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613916510751376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671058321678007,0.04866055724221352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928536415325225,0.0,0.0,0.055865883294669405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255253544579607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799695357860152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317367930085979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228050219931942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402736900848778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04528619618198145,0.06819540634364123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688700292632087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431761511429975,0.0,0.0,0.05890525836157924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238168896528395,0.037307930422141804,0.0,0.06064666100301575,0.0,0.0,0.04343900955668345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558231955259816,0.11321324214989024,0.05078526877647506,0.0,0.0,0.1150534979727912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046579048368790114,0.0,0.0,0.09090076437242783,0.06995335734793111,0.07774411561955763,0.0
mentalhealth,SCMentalHealth,2019/02/05,"Seeking personal stories from Charleston, South Carolina to help inform state lawmakers about mental health in schools As stated in the title, I am looking for someone to be kind enough to offer a short personal anecdote about their experience with mental health issues in the public school system. I am doing research for two bills currently being crafted in the South Carolina State Legislature seeking to require schools to have specialized staff trained in mental health support and require further mental health education in schools. In addition to traditional research, this very personal issue requires us to consider the people who are actually affected. As such, I am searching for someone to offer their own story about how mental health has been treated in their schools previously and what they personally think could have helped them or those they know. 

​

Thank you very much for your help! 

PM me if you would like to offer your experience.

\-Matt",12.119999999999996,12.119087,10.278750000000002,56.991250000000036,54.0,12.75,46.875,11.93303328291395,6.167875000000001,800,43,102,19,8,245,100,160,0.01,0.89,0.1,0.9348,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,4,6,3,5,6,0,0,5,0,13,5,0,2,0,16,18,7,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,4,4,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,15,6,28,13,3,17,0,0,1,0,24,12,0,2,2,75,19,11,0.0,0.0,0.08733488122764317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696854016609342,0.10874705627270237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145502424946301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247296903651124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750879107742467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4756486547668434,0.0,0.0,0.17996121880913404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868204923712644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319598670869174,0.0491844894120349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043723072378683184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515383755196965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4509530176493161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578962792055948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062045041251002665,0.3125767297475732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4528720691876443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165881142430165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015586457610032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823956050532687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05734522296167156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742428259140389,0.0,0.10765229291649424,0.0,0.0,0.1476866300978339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357516874211706,0.0,0.10874705627270237,0.0
mentalhealth,posthospitalblues,2019/02/05,"Do I have a mental illness I wrote this last night in an angry fury, that’s why it’s in mostly caps. I don’t want to be a bad person. I swear. ALL I FUCKING WANT IS TO BE FUCKING LOVED AND TO BE SUPER SUCCESSFUL LIKE IN MY FANTASIES. I WANT A FUCKING ACADEMY AWARD WINNING MOVIE ABOUT MY LIFE AND I WANT TO MAKE IT MYSELF JUST AS I WANT IT. I WANT TO FEEL IN TUNE WITH THE REAL FUCKING WORLD BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO EVER LEAVE THE SIMULTANEOUS ANXIOUSNESS AND EGOTISM OF MY HEAD. I REALIZE IT BUT I TRY TO PUSH THE REALIZATIONS AWAY BECAUSE IT SCARES ME. I DON’T WANT TO GIVE INTO THE FEELINGS OF WORTHLESSNESS AND SADNESS, AND THE MEMORIES OF MY CHILDHOOD THAT DOESN’T SEEM TO HAVE A DEFINITE END. I FEEL TRAPPED BETWEEN INFANCY AND THE ADOLESCENCE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE IN. I AM STILL A FUCKING LITTLE KID. I WANT FUCKING POWER, POWER TO RELISH BECAUSE MY PEERS NEVER EVEN TREATED ME WITH THAT MUCH RESPECT AT ALL. POWER AND RESPECT, I NEED THE POWER, I’M FUCKING ADDICTED TO THE IDEA. I CAN’T TAKE CRITICISM AND I HATE SEEING OTHERS SUCCEED. I AM SO FUCKING MISERABLE SURROUNDED BY ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE SO GREAT WHEN REALLY I AM SO GREAT AND SPECIAL AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO GET ME. I HATE ALL THE TALENTED OR WHATEVER PEOPLE I HAVE TO SEE EVERY SINGLE DAY. WHEN MY MOVIE COMES OUT EVERYONE WILL SEE HOW FUCKING SPECIAL I ACTUALLY FREAKIN’ AM. I HAVE BEEN PLANNING IT FOR YEARS. I AM ALSO SO MAD ALL MY EXES DO NOT EVEN SEEM TO CARE ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP AND HOW I LEFT THEM. I AM SO MAD AT THIS FUCKING WORLD FOR DOING THIS BULLSHIT TO ME. IT MADE ME SO UNHAPPY AND THEN EXPECTS ME TO KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT! WITH ALL THESE BORING IDIOTS WHO GET ALL THE THINGS I WANT! I HATE HAVING TO LIE THROUGH MY TEETH ALL THE DAMN TIME, IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO BE SO BORED AND LONELY AND KNOWING NO ONE CAN REALLY SATISFY YOUR NEEDS FOR VERY LONG, MY IDEALIZATION GOES BY SO FAST. I HATE MY LIFE AND THIS WALL I HAVE UP CAN ONLY HELP ME SO MUCH. I’m exhausted. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I HAVE OR IF THIS IS ONE SOLID DISORDER AT ALL, but I think it might be serious. CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OUT? I have diagnosed depression and anxiety.  I can’t bring myself to tell my doctors about the other symptoms I described to you. thanks in advance.
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mentalhealth,throwawayprince123,2019/02/05,"How to deal with a bad environment? I’m a grad student and the city I am currently taking classes in makes my mental problems much worse than normal. I have OCD and Bipolar II. This is my second semester and I just got back to school 2 days ago and I’ve already had a meltdown. When I was home I was pretty fine. I was feeling very good and hopeful. I had a rough first semester, I had a lot of issues and a meltdown related to my OCD at least twice a week. I was able to pass my classes with excellent grades but I’m back at school and like I said it’s only been 2 days and I feel horrible.

I have been fine in other cities (actually done extremely well in other cities) but this one is making my problems worse. My OCD gets exacerbated because I share a toilet with 20 other people and often there is blood or other bodily fluids on the seat. It throws me into a frenzy and sometimes panic attacks. Besides that, the streets are really gross and I have to cover my hands on my way to get food or else I will feel dirty and go back to my room and not eat.

I have been doing really well at home, like I said. I even got over a lot of food anxieties. But when I’m at school it’s like none of my progress matters. People will often approach me or yell in the street and it amps up my anxiety to the point where I don’t want to go outside. I don’t care about homeless people asking for change or food because I will give them that if I have it. I mean I’ve been aggressively approached multiple times by people and it’s a daily occurrence that I have an interaction with someone on the street and having a bad interaction makes my OCD act up. It just makes me feel uneasy and makes my mental problems worse. I can’t cook because of my OCD (I have tried many times but often I end up throwing out whatever I made because I feel it is contaminated and I waste money that way), so going out to find food is my best option for eating.

I don’t really know what to do. I don’t know where I can transfer to because my major is so specific and uncommon. I’m in bed crying and unable to do anything and this is not like me. I try my best to be productive but when I’m here I feel sick. I want to go to a park or something but the thought of having to go outside makes me scared. I hate this because I’m not like this when I’m home or anywhere else. I almost feel like I don’t have mental problems anywhere else except here.

I don’t really know what to do about this. I’m going to therapy and I’m requesting a room transfer so I can have a private bathroom. I can’t leave unless I want to take online classes instead (don’t want to do that because I enjoy the professional connections I make in classes). I’m kind of just feeling stuck. I took out a lot of loans and not finishing my degree at this point would be stupid of me to do. Does anyone have any advice for this kind of situation? Thank you for reading.",1.9388557213930329,3.752608283582092,3.891699834162523,87.05008706467663,78.1044776119403,6.655721393034828,23.604477611940297,7.594959193182576,1.0774895522388066,2277,75,477,33,54,773,239,603,0.154,0.728,0.117,-0.9852,1,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,1,1,5,28,34,4,2,25,0,56,11,2,9,0,96,113,45,0,12,22,0,10,6,0,4,2,3,6,0,27,31,7,0,14,2,2,13,14,13,2,4,20,13,72,21,67,87,9,63,0,0,0,0,11,31,0,16,23,325,99,15,0.059810700805980624,0.0,0.05836661618932089,0.0,0.0,0.0584463246045665,0.05301857749331857,0.0,0.05989177721935824,0.0,0.06600259562669236,0.0,0.0,0.06480486933463314,0.0,0.04067332754439042,0.0,0.09151004481497592,0.0,0.0,0.041821032671603114,0.0,0.04921911056133773,0.0,0.055914931402470384,0.0680433067199214,0.0,0.13797221107670454,0.09987887375670428,0.2552203364793014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553528093775385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609809956459475,0.0,0.0632717908368179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569924634122558,0.07714590800806873,0.06166220625190676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234074733251375,0.06120711275629768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240255736468725,0.1498924973456954,0.0,0.052974528157565016,0.0,0.0,0.03950440379419638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24193669950387575,0.04272877660653565,0.0,0.0,0.054665896974460434,0.05087495155125645,0.2892933473060879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249724515097125,0.05737587422320663,0.2039507976370785,0.0501663781365772,0.095672162492087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905068439827154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799850287245787,0.05940552137101213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242683233352924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456728194162915,0.0986111909340291,0.0,0.0,0.06333089617009419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17532292355165546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254675692303032,0.0,0.05659433126486374,0.27946875057986703,0.06063866295656645,0.0,0.06515138728548339,0.0,0.0,0.18082535635639727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04396774699983352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058601787775657624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04052927877923575,0.045488733136348665,0.0,0.07017497046041872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658608362772525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308088957726622,0.0,0.0,0.060848985054761086,0.0,0.22892305223896395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598268864310457,0.0,0.1532650659073392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378734595831305,0.0,0.059880945567904076,0.18159486706971584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722973367605044,0.0,0.0,0.050677412699847116,0.04604519956690376,0.0591543124527744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994040694508128,0.0,0.0,0.05506565748106627,0.06839874892590063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04748301551983743,0.06975220124976413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664518893165314,0.0812150795394955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04935009204825077,0.14111160390876254,0.09494990068164404,0.04797653646070023,0.0,0.10755400600195958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285664167725027,0.042487805799728495,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,franksgraybunnysuit,2019/02/05,"Isn't it weird how much anxiety isn't you?? So I'm relaxing at home today while my boyfriend spends some quality time with his dad. Sometimes its hard for me to be away from him cuz my anxiety makes it hard for me to be alone with intrusive thoughts. He's also extroverted and out more anyway. But, I'm an introvert and I like being alone. I love reading or a good TV show. This week, it's been easy for me to do things around the house and study while being alone cuz I'm not worried about him (my family and most people don't really understand my anxiety or introversion). He's very important to me, but he was checking on me and I realized I don't need to be checked on today and it felt good.",1.6697321428571428,3.739586826388887,3.5811507936507923,87.70750000000002,80.04166666666667,8.003174603174603,23.48015873015873,8.841846274778883,1.7350492063492062,549,19,119,14,14,185,88,144,0.077,0.789,0.134,0.875,0,3,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,12,1,0,4,0,26,21,17,0,1,5,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,10,0,0,4,4,3,0,5,1,0,0,4,3,17,5,18,12,4,12,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,4,7,80,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4834140461558946,0.0,0.12442040146317836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35706380980461644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850267100013172,0.0,0.0,0.14617621064878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466706694485143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938495823487047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609928143263796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27874525799055205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606335334645147,0.0,0.0,0.17952295003813365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601044254032008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404205586468266,0.0,0.10385347209972312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437208001976487,0.11536350236269813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786229755483537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562601927842365,0.0,0.09967104058262932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538764712549066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336304053386727,0.0,0.0,0.12351625046048295,0.09072223262796447,0.0,0.29495072095232205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196834358115372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837302481627436,0.0,0.0,0.12480003278710533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580030189831012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themav22,2019/02/05,"Anti-Anxiety Medication Success Stories? Hey All, My therapist would like me to begin an SSRI regimen (specifically Zoloft) to treat my moderate to severe anxiety disorder and I was feeling nervous about it. (Ironic, right?) Any success stories for anti-anxiety meds would help me out a lot. Thanks!",5.250466666666668,8.754410180000004,7.0120000000000005,59.63266666666666,77.2,10.533333333333337,38.333333333333336,10.125756701596842,5.995733333333333,239,15,29,9,6,82,40,50,0.141,0.5429999999999999,0.316,0.9053,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,1,6,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,7,6,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,5,6,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,20,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407671734555185,0.0,0.5537290159379785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765244861609969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199696292579325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16172296960445287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787581489116104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205125181773599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680044915545769,0.2430613177231867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20604934467654246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725744721216873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22213555820106412,0.0,0.2801413361681205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34279269111809924,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheRandyRashers,2019/02/05,"I think it's too late for my dad. So for a few years now my family has known my dad to be mentally ill, we just don't know the cause. He's incredibly paranoid, out house is like Fort Knox. He's apparently related to and knows every celebrity personally. He has imaginary cousins who all seem to be called Dan or Claire, despite all having different jobs. He thinks he's part of the SAS, Police, MI6, you name it, despite never leaving the house for more than a couple of hours a day to go to Waitrose.

While these things may sound benign, it's slowly worsened to where we don't feel safe in our own home. He constantly accuses us of things but won't specify what, saying ""you know what I mean"" etc.

So my mum's divorcing him. It's the only way out as he won't admit anything is wrong with him, and he's not considered risky enough to be sectioned. I worry what will happen to him, as he doesn't own a car and doesn't really have any money, he pays nothing towards the mortgage. On the other hand though, I don't know if I can bring myself to see him afterwards, knowing the hurt he's caused, however unintentional it may be.

Thoughts on what may be wrong with him, what may happen? Medical or legal or otherwise?",4.591024590163936,5.2242022418032805,5.687827868852462,81.44559426229512,69.61475409836065,9.214754098360656,28.364754098360656,9.354420925462401,2.2692262295081966,953,32,195,19,16,317,146,244,0.115,0.8390000000000001,0.047,-0.9482,5,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,4,2,0,0,7,6,0,0,11,0,24,3,1,2,3,40,41,14,0,1,7,4,2,1,0,7,2,2,1,1,15,9,0,1,13,0,2,3,9,3,0,0,1,5,21,3,26,28,10,21,0,1,1,0,33,8,0,9,10,125,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735943401386825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571433174755043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117536956372744,0.0,0.0,0.263934346025489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882316575336534,0.0,0.0,0.14214217333902687,0.0,0.08284818659987309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421678315759647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273690623906212,0.14327051234373114,0.0,0.0,0.10823585201862104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211037452549616,0.0,0.06495489308311114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300864114124443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271993043865925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288591417654783,0.0,0.1265104515551583,0.29645874925891746,0.13752259569395175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274799808855135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530002890316913,0.0,0.14491217268619622,0.13602406242696324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276066854219339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993416969060193,0.0,0.12941323723733214,0.12946076901306267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907879925437607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123263979604856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770211145036696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13911321106918714,0.0,0.0,0.11216917900796107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822968651701204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021591545471812,0.0,0.0,0.10236860011195324,0.116948143253869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069058696818445,0.16462816243125322,0.12621451807398265,0.10198549298818843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452550577926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196817034663083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130460694236902,0.0,0.0,0.28090885527327397,0.0,0.08272613898999634
mentalhealth,moojuicex,2019/02/05,"What is it? So I have symptoms. Lots of them crossover to either dependant personality disorder or bipolar. I’ve been told I have nothing wrong apart from depression. But I don’t feel normal. I still don’t feel right. I have a follow up months away as I’m not a priority so I’m coming here. I know we can’t give medical advice here. I’m not saying they’re wrong, I’m not diagnosing myself I just... wonder what’s wrong with me if there’s nothing wrong ? Does that make sense? My whole life I have felt like I’m must have something wrong. I’m suicidal and have been for years. 

So if there isn’t a personality illness. Why am I like this? I’m so tired. 
I can’t do this anymore. ",-0.015218365061588912,2.3138251489361714,2.4517282568122454,90.70263157894738,91.83687943262413,5.5216125419932816,19.47779022023143,7.0608816371341465,0.4744524822695038,530,17,116,9,19,181,83,141,0.127,0.735,0.138,-0.5471,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,1,0,10,8,0,0,3,0,17,7,0,2,1,23,34,10,1,4,9,0,3,2,0,1,7,1,0,2,6,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,8,6,0,0,4,4,15,2,8,29,3,9,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,6,5,70,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293175092143888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476126494046465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819463220399355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836683635727404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835263094678782,0.12768585476133987,0.0,0.0,0.14417939575626249,0.0,0.1100897234797177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721801705834596,0.0,0.12078914973246245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068024339645055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913720377335397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885730617623333,0.12292049793658953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695192014674637,0.0,0.0,0.08397346519966675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267317567698022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041354164023256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325874085545672,0.24141982714043575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196900010318971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743377710913184,0.0,0.10004238671611873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684812591011586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046522495302478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760640142666605,0.0,0.0,0.13075590692398975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459029586398625,0.0,0.12020870586693035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351626911976095,0.14045286051799855,0.0,0.0,0.13642633943513105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6877208522279841,0.0,0.08101202897628089
mentalhealth,Bipolars_brother,2019/02/05,"How can I help my brother with his bipolar disorder? My brother has been struggling with bipolar disorder for about 10 years.  His manic episodes seem to be getting more frequent and to me the mania seems to linger in him now to the point where to me he seems permanently changed by it.  Now he is refusing to take his Lithium because he feels it stifles him creatively and he has big plans to change the world with his art.  A few of his manic episodes have gotten the police called on him and I'm worried for his safety and for the safety of those around him.  

​

My dad and I aren't sure what, if anything, we can do. He thinks he can control the energy and euphoria he gets when he is starting a manic episode and he thinks that this energy is essential to his destiny as a famous artist. He equates taking medicine with giving up on his dreams and our urging him to take it is seen as an attack. Any attempts to get him to see the danger he is putting himself in, or see himself from a different perspective are shot down and he gets very defensive. He's lost almost all of his friends due to his manic behavior and he has said horrible things to me and my dad while manic.  My dad helps support him financially which I don't think helps, but God knows what he'd do without it. Being confrontational with him has never produced a positive outcome, so the last few years I am just trying to listen, be supportive and try to understand his situation from his perspective and try to make little nudges for him to change.  This has led him to open up to me more, and I am able to glimpse the fantasy he lives in but I cannot convince him it is not real. I know he has to *want* to get better.  But is there anything we can do to help him help himself?  

​

​",5.126352795031057,5.908689622857146,5.516211180124223,82.6179192546584,68.4857142857143,8.601242236024845,31.503105590062113,8.716276077567194,2.4192621118012423,1408,57,276,22,23,450,171,350,0.067,0.8109999999999999,0.122,0.9526,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,3,0,0,6,10,12,4,1,15,0,32,2,0,5,3,54,64,25,0,2,8,5,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,13,23,0,3,10,4,0,2,6,6,0,0,5,6,47,6,51,55,5,28,0,1,3,0,63,15,0,6,11,192,60,1,0.08700673389650385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712467590067652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828152794774973,0.31716811513754783,0.05916756263765863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431982570852842,0.07745443966667738,0.0,0.09898272050720422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303849741600165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769503856042248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884360324435887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761247633438764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758545039767873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909035184825197,0.1994345099106251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04399321891791661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722118677890365,0.0,0.22728713695206335,0.08346478729302302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29159389853794626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563325105370313,0.07092210075973092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720360485343365,0.07682854006787243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497812802287907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058077670494277436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710495697598809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224948659392177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746579898714063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903271137240552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276332827715682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386662042314031,0.2376229883849532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779921433891717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061583814073147135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095832945588683,0.0,0.0,0.19746842109861584,0.08200281701505446,0.0,0.1962547073056065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780340789808404,0.16725120570883314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177215583131147,0.0,0.0,0.09057707844353566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178966754692796,0.051318825918901814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387138663369012,0.0,0.0,0.08835956167926791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31716811513754783,0.11205896800304888
mentalhealth,courtnichizzle,2019/02/05,"Anxiety & Thinking the worst Hi I'm a young adult, 21 yrs old, and as a child my mom only really showed me love when it was for her convent. She has dated all types of guys and her only happiness was thru men. So as a child I guess I felt sorta abandoned some. She only seemed to care much about me when she was single or when convient for her. Idk but I feel like this has caused me to struggle a lot with my relationship with my husband. I have some anxiety he doesn't care and think the worst. Any one relate.",0.6798286604361365,2.9166996542056083,2.33422897196262,94.20888239875393,85.16822429906544,5.4358255451713395,18.26246105919003,6.816661863887847,0.012315264797507995,401,10,89,5,12,131,73,107,0.15,0.725,0.125,-0.2315,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,1,6,0,7,1,0,1,1,20,17,11,0,0,2,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,5,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,4,2,16,5,11,13,8,6,1,1,0,1,17,0,0,7,7,60,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852500775520274,0.0,0.1245997831503184,0.0,0.28033437214050805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3736216971912592,0.1882233021076829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264443713569558,0.13089650198012912,0.17592543961648086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018438045953715,0.18142228475527228,0.0,0.19504720240220835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895148392271508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577196802293886,0.16536837980899424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21459176682714307,0.0,0.0,0.1346919977424587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226458741627955,0.0,0.1241585002264722,0.4180542847190861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737909786045715,0.0,0.0,0.1967158695025333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680182803097374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19154732121254076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348073058270177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SecretMelynx,2019/02/05,"I feel embarrassed for myself and I don't know if it's justified or not There's really not much I can say about myself that I'm proud of. I had pretty bad body image and eating issues in high school around the time I was meant to be applying for colleges, and I secretly was setting myself up for failure/suicide. That didn't happen, thankfully, but when I did end up going to college, I realized I have no idea what I want from life anymore. I've been trying for four years and have gotten the point where I can hardly find the motivation to apply myself, it just feels pointless to try when I'm getting nowhere. I've thought about alternatives (military, trades) but everyone I ask tells me that I'll regret dropping college. I don't doubt I will, but I find it funny that they tell me not to because I'll regret it when that's exactly what they did, and they probably realized it beforehand, too. 

I'm just kind of ranting, though. I'm not proud of my educational/adult life thus far, I have no friends, and more importantly I don't really have a good reason to be like this. I'm not diagnosed with anything, so as far as everyone is concerned, I'm just an under acheiver, and it's difficult to not believe it. I wonder if I'm just the stereotypical airhead who doesn't understand how the real world works, it certainly feels that way at times.",7.016276083467098,6.255294696629214,7.713774745853398,73.72693820224724,64.58052434456928,11.224077046548958,34.80176565008025,10.608840637214634,3.5826192616372388,1072,42,205,24,14,359,147,267,0.096,0.773,0.131,0.8546,0,0,0,0,0,2,30.0,0,0,3,4,16,14,0,2,7,0,21,5,1,4,2,50,43,21,0,5,16,0,4,1,1,1,3,1,0,0,18,9,1,0,16,0,1,1,13,6,0,1,10,5,28,8,26,30,2,23,0,2,0,0,10,12,0,5,8,137,46,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622315128693607,0.0,0.0,0.11303469745332315,0.12227857143436224,0.12841205950532272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468897089270035,0.08373273014386018,0.0,0.0,0.15475647924523642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257480830905915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941642479062671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055247932597356,0.0,0.0,0.12165924362978095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26250469219163186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20835840986903506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510871511106285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612317027687546,0.0,0.07176437278872072,0.0,0.07806424660173884,0.11521015537105815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146605010128644,0.0,0.123046623198895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145127253388035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506151505647056,0.0,0.14336703823601202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303819051451147,0.07548887688552677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940413519848615,0.06710663600065285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097461988137484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984858925060924,0.0,0.0,0.13974341546532335,0.14809616101877246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634453653015168,0.17599129847551706,0.14122785938976315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923333606179167,0.0,0.13901457262026473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024837755965906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401155221491457,0.12646165000653106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495445346784965,0.10904764901770292,0.16019019594319353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865153969605773,0.0,0.0,0.1429954926333125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101785705321893,0.1090291268408591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895990262092265,0.09999893857172606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845464884123881
mentalhealth,ela_urbex,2019/02/05,"Misdiagnosis? Hi people of reddit.
How did you guys find out that your initial diagnosis was wrong and how did you know when you were finally diagnosed correctly?
Thanks in advance.",4.77951612903226,8.263356548387097,5.703467741935487,67.97520161290325,80.29032258064517,9.551612903225807,30.330645161290327,9.516144504307137,4.149832258064517,147,7,22,5,4,48,27,31,0.098,0.82,0.08199999999999999,-0.1431,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,4,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,7,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,4,1,3,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871920106697666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4178903629712328,0.348663864526255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777230697659358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20965026228727887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26446872433558066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512135719459152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.417086168317372,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,redditor977,2019/02/05,"My best friend wants to party all the time Hi all, 

I have been a mild alcoholic and a heavy marijuana addict for the better of the past three years. I have been sober for 22 days, since I’m visiting my parents and I did not even smoke cigarettes, not planning to start again either. The problem is, my best friend wants to drink and do drugs together. 

She is actually a very clever person and I like her so much, but I just want to stay clean. I told her no and she’s kind of fine with that but I’m sure in the future she’ll keep asking me and maybe try to push me. I am returning to college tomorrow and I’m afraid I will relapse. What can I do? 

I really want to get better and do better with school and with my life but I’m afraid to be alone. 

Any suggestions are appreciated, thanks in advance! ",1.2353048128342223,3.3873369939393996,2.927415329768273,91.36171122994655,82.0909090909091,6.549019607843138,19.402852049910873,7.724431198458867,0.5407932263814614,624,16,139,11,17,206,100,165,0.04,0.7090000000000001,0.251,0.9866,1,1,5,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,7,5,16,0,2,8,0,16,5,0,0,3,28,30,13,0,5,7,1,0,1,2,2,4,0,1,1,2,12,2,1,0,1,0,3,3,3,0,1,4,0,21,13,17,23,6,15,0,0,0,0,14,2,0,0,10,89,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.1457866935438757,0.16286117612100556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15965642371902294,0.0,0.15472681061053528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159283380228996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966293578606082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135589267613768,0.3963797418994795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963465726062952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634894384021913,0.17324925389784454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986731249058048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308423924184177,0.0,0.07805203831422533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327879780859277,0.0,0.15557054137858828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552118308241452,0.07298621197014016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500860439553164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098215534182738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588401592772314,0.0,0.14261318370381248,0.0,0.1304448098746388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294958762744234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570542483540176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511943925203221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235800061965422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574162444985148,0.15923379870141294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080178714388386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754164034359515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711266346695183,0.0,0.0,0.14275207527366182,0.0,0.10142851072230097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326544205447285,0.35246508188520875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620463988104187
mentalhealth,Shawn379900,2019/02/05,"Help My girlfriend and I recently broke up, we have a son together, she was the love of my life and I don’t know how to deal with leaving her, but still being a part of her life because of our son. I can’t take the feeling I’ve had since we broke. ",4.093212121212119,3.00446329090909,5.290909090909093,89.78303030303032,70.63636363636364,8.787878787878787,29.24242424242424,7.793537801064563,1.4550606060606053,191,6,48,2,3,64,40,55,0.104,0.7809999999999999,0.115,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,6,3,0,1,0,9,10,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,11,1,6,7,1,3,0,2,0,1,12,1,0,0,2,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18895566796934668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195668680664217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673083650082215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077672730502371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035215657788294,0.0,0.0,0.3282149207934141,0.0,0.0,0.4378838862053174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797612603581041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356687834323939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060593291963297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25641151752608304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247543533694748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23305989119688925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaymental2822,2019/02/05,"Could I have some sort of mental illness? I don't know where to start, but I try to write this as clearly as I can.

So I'm a 16 year old boy and I am a very nice person and nobody would not notice anything strange about me, and I have never hurt anyone. But about last 3 to 5 years (honestly I don't know when it started) I haven't had friends. I actually have friends at school but that's it. I don't see anyone in my spare time *(when I'm not at school)* and I'm always at my home using my PC or phone. But during these years, I have got some feelings that I could hurt or even kill some specific people that I know. And what's even more concerning is that all these people are girls. I literally just could if no one would not see *(or I would not get caught)* I could hurt or even kill these people. And all these girls are the same people who, a few years ago, bullied me. Not physically but mentally.

Or instead of hurting someone else I have had some feelings about killing myself only.

:(",0.8571579876434257,3.0174732330097096,2.324924977934689,95.07168578993824,83.66019417475728,5.104677846425419,19.557811120917922,6.351523495107088,-0.0758563106796113,770,21,173,7,22,249,107,206,0.195,0.713,0.092,-0.9801,0,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,0,0,12,11,3,0,4,0,23,1,0,1,4,47,39,22,3,8,17,0,2,0,2,3,1,0,1,4,13,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,11,7,0,1,4,4,23,4,14,28,9,19,0,4,2,0,9,5,0,11,13,120,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.09895113274548092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988440039938136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437237716797108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180155800082347,0.0,0.08344302035553894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238365010841605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470614066035984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20091993124243285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025411101054704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668176333668427,0.0,0.05297697215392208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109831842996097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171180966277296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4342003799159566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33655005183115905,0.0,0.16717928297663426,0.0826539989774774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20437337881107165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820542518991827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154438252524792,0.106401554357544,0.0,0.06871081975275672,0.07711877036692344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28119015113899565,0.08853799605503597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052430992290548,0.16160429795475995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591533514628508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143541955212957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05912677293786438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688434985710015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757647665541116,0.0,0.08366507822602938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160935541362964,0.0,0.0,0.2611914121979912
mentalhealth,Orourkecp,2019/02/05,"Feeling Sad and Overwhelmingly Unlucky at Times I have been on and off depressed over the last couple of years based on some work issues, money issues, girl issues, family splitting up issues. I have always felt like I have had bad luck, and when things go wrong now i get really in my head about it. I make strides forward and then something will go wrong, and I start to feel like I am the only one (at least in my personal and extended friend group) that has to deal with stuff like this everyday. How can I get better at not overreacting when something else goes wrong, appreciating the things that go right when they do, and somehow try to decrease the amount of unfortunate things that happen to me. Sometimes i just feel like I can't catch a break, you know?",8.644177339901479,7.385117358620692,7.787881773399018,76.12172413793105,61.620689655172406,10.768472906403945,33.128078817733986,9.606745405546679,2.7835320197044333,607,18,116,9,7,188,97,145,0.145,0.711,0.14400000000000002,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,2,8,14,0,1,5,0,11,1,1,2,0,20,24,12,0,0,2,0,4,4,1,1,0,0,0,2,9,8,0,0,5,0,1,5,2,7,0,1,3,4,15,7,18,20,3,27,0,3,0,0,7,12,0,3,15,77,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263966396385336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299468920151776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090957961180252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364878631293816,0.0,0.0,0.12717163359020606,0.1062438475426914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304568989143846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628632810749633,0.0,0.18711310686588065,0.17624696398845086,0.11843832398762355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530230199704587,0.0,0.12889381103665631,0.0,0.21031323467063565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908074230103876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659587185917534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5149943688543459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779163988026787,0.10054924330776642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410563828221264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233915463193822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358725553107989,0.09381559393553993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770717227784372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902315692419865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534287664619438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18992649156886526,0.12199937377836145,0.0,0.08730996175704106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120979186728738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458509630637978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192818679895202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837486603625765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980252868702057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046017640970211,0.0,0.07943535454996949
mentalhealth,Plllllluto,2019/02/05,"Help me continue therapy for depression  I'm a 20 year old student from Georgia Tbilisi. i've been getting therapy for few months and i would like to continue since it's been helping me a lot. but being a student and having a family that doesn't take my decision to get therapy and my depression even very seriously it's getting hard, therapy fee went up as well and i also need a visit with a psychiatrist to get medication. Getting this money would help me a great deal. thanks for your attention, even if you just took it to heart that counts. thank you 

[https://gogetfunding.com/](https://gogetfunding.com/help-me-get-therapy-for-depression/)",8.413967889908257,10.779584467889912,7.910905963302753,62.612964449541295,62.11926605504587,10.954587155963305,33.80848623853211,10.9516,4.253742201834863,533,22,81,15,8,168,71,109,0.097,0.7,0.204,0.9129,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,0,0,5,8,0,0,7,0,7,2,1,0,0,14,19,8,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,2,3,1,3,1,0,4,1,10,5,11,12,2,9,0,2,0,0,8,1,0,2,6,54,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748440454401676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567486052784624,0.3149801652677159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102928321407015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491767191807516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3821303053430747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439658461436468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091995973936763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444535962778723,0.32683141679646616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05955480486343881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363610367727892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228027085982006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730043366917976,0.0,0.0,0.09038824985039244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791488075703442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083799330575803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165458702907907,0.0,0.0,0.22446062975870767,0.5576189211540529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543680042114473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005813173447472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960388481955616,0.11300370200559336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731903346500833,0.0,0.0,0.07850042357886533
mentalhealth,MisterSpudson,2019/02/05,"Books or papers that have helped you working with people or with your own mental health? Hello
I've been working the last year as a Support worker for adults with multiple complex needs (autism, OCD, schizophrenia, PTSD and ADHD) I have newly developed big for reading up as much as I can about these or related subjects regarding mental health. 
I am training to become a mental health nurse.
What books or papers have helped your profession or as self help?


Cheers all",6.7650000000000015,8.545148357142857,5.743809523809524,78.81785714285716,65.42857142857143,7.980952380952381,29.47619047619048,8.344100000000001,2.289133333333333,378,13,60,5,6,113,59,84,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.8343,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,3,1,2,0,0,3,0,6,3,0,0,1,12,8,10,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,2,12,7,3,4,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,5,2,39,9,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016223255449212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528454587928264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.534982757249145,0.0,0.0,0.3373503673056761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675181397455222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5072064986499583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233274329367791,0.12439648381430965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630793342048212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19610966632024854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781156251124318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501669603758258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903790532052262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442715289236447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803590828794406
mentalhealth,gio211287,2019/02/05,"BPD (I am drowning) Hi, first time poster, it has taken me a lot of trial and error, a lot of messing up to finally be at this point. After several relationship meltdowns, destroying opportunities in furthering my career...etc. I've been able to realise what could possibly be wrong with me. I've been to shrinks over the years and nothing positive have come out of it. After researching for a while I've come to the conclusion that I am a classic case of some one with borderline personality disorder. My current relationship is hanging by a thread, she means the world to me and have plans for the future, which she is wanting to end right now. And I've lost my father recently to a heart attack. Apart from him I don't have any family. I am living abroad, scraping through each day as a freelance artist working remotely. Work is hard to come by. I was born on to tiny as island in the middle of no where and there's nothing for me there. I didn't grow up there. But I haven't been able to nail down a permanent residency in the first world countries I grew up in. The only way I will go back to the hellhole I was unfortunate enough to be born in would be in a body bag. I feel I have enough justification to apply for refugee or asylum status, but I am petrified to be rejected and sent back. I don't know what to do. I have no one to go to. No one to talk to. All of these crisis helplines were impossible to reach. Hence why I am on here. Any help would be much appreciated.",3.2265990990991007,4.8826153986486505,4.807162162162161,82.56463963963965,74.06756756756756,8.311711711711713,26.86036036036036,8.959647251330699,2.065275225225225,1162,43,239,25,24,391,162,296,0.133,0.8240000000000001,0.043,-0.9733,1,1,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,8,8,7,2,0,17,0,35,3,2,1,1,29,47,12,1,4,3,1,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,8,13,0,0,5,1,0,9,7,6,0,5,10,2,26,1,55,27,8,51,0,2,0,0,11,23,0,4,18,175,34,3,0.23703975539386074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611951621073906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483347096533968,0.0,0.18226894030698226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164886572744447,0.14927163697427606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062831405062044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462847829077732,0.0,0.0,0.07643551620967366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358340479213433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497343307603237,0.24492543204254774,0.13218099294685454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172999269367216,0.0,0.05992721128743893,0.0,0.0,0.1298327328111332,0.0,0.2016258948462028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471515557363775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617053074000138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044662572182462,0.07944137572845315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513542521965751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465522339120747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937844708140864,0.2015227234139912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291028921046971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712574717915328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274460382979653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409364093379508,0.09013970769874773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034869856801661,0.0,0.0,0.11203959343356792,0.1336133541644333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702408088113575,0.2544919876409602,0.0,0.10121532797156883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389372645558648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526178823961773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910989379668896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990609460979554,0.09407556226961043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694575503376642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725677650565919,0.0,0.0,0.1683862412289683,0.12958288069949198,0.0,0.07632291540999485
mentalhealth,flatfootzombie,2019/02/05,"Advice on how to avoid depression? This is my debut post so please bear with me if it's a bit crap. Basically, I've previously suffered from depression and I guess I'm hyper aware of the fact that it is very easy for me to fall into that way of thinking, and I don't want to. But I've had a pretty terrible run of luck recently and I'm struggling not to give up. 

A couple of weeks ago, I found out that a very close friend of mine, the first person I was ever in love with, and someone who I was occasionally romantically involved with, committed suicide. We had been friends for years and had a lot in common (same interest, same heritage, similar families) so this loss hit me really hard. I've been working consistently since, as I work in a demanding field, and so haven't had time to process this loss properly (but I know it'll take years for that to happen).

Yesterday, I found out that contrary to assurances my place of employment have previously made, a decision has been made that certain support functions do not bring enough revenue into the company, and so I have been given two weeks notice before I will be without a job. My team have assured me that this is not any fault of mine and are going to try and help me find new work, but this is of little consolation in reality.

I understand that these two losses are incomparable, I'd do anything to get my friend back and I know jobs come and go. But the timing of these two events could not be worse. I am currently really struggling to see what the point in working hard is, if the things you work for can be taken from you in no time at all, and through no fault of your own. 

If anyone has any tips on how to stay positive, I would appreciate it. I feel like I'm not managing very well.
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mentalhealth,father_gilgamesh,2019/02/05,OCD and Paranoia My OCD and paranoia and getting worse and worse and I can't help but use escapism to try and feel better. But this has only made me feel worse by making me feel depressed because I'm not a part of the stories I watch. ,4.6154421768707445,4.707164285714286,4.988163265306124,88.39136054421772,69.40816326530611,6.533333333333332,30.619047619047624,3.1291,1.1061374149659864,186,7,39,0,3,59,34,49,0.303,0.63,0.067,-0.888,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,15,10,8,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,5,1,3,9,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148036022557586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20526539787490486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19989941330111488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520561533542785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125783186654185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556553000041107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21960986883619693,0.15492237040851115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765154653183505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513316531166455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757437685515205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20045188031682906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7095608729190817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shelbisanastywoman,2019/02/05,"I need help understanding myself and how to become a better person Hi, I’ve been having a hard time as of late feeling like something is wrong with me and what I can do to maybe improve myself and my spirit rather than trying to move on the same way I’ve always done. I’m a F, 20 y/o college student living in an apartment with 5 roommates and my bf. 

Growing up, I had my mom, dad and my little brother. I don’t really remember much of how my parents raised us as children, but it seemed loving enough. 

I used to cry a lot as a kid over little things that are completely insignificant now, but I was made fun of for it, even scolded by my parents to stop and that there’s no need for it. So I held it in for years.

My brother and I would watch wwe and mimic the wrestlers, which was a happy and fun memory. This later progressed into heavy fist fights as we got older, we’d leave each other bruised and scarred and it had gotten so bad once that a part of me actually wanted to kill him. My brother’s still alive and well today. 

This later resulted in flairs of anger over the next couple of years, I’d try to pick fights with my parents over things that weren’t even about me in order to prove something. Around this time is also when I began to hear things that weren’t there, things that were coming from my head like my name being called out or quiet laughing. Some times I would think I’d see something from the corner of my eye to find that nothing was there.  I even remember seeing a full shadow of a man one night, and now that I’m questioning myself I don’t know whether I made that figure up in my head or if it was a ghost. Though I had not experienced this off hearing and vision for a while it’s starting to come back as this new year has begun.

In High school things were alright, I had a more positive outlook on life, I was doing well in school I had a great group of friends (some I still talk to today) and I didn’t ever question or doubt how I was feeling. Then college came around, partying kind of took over and I got around on booze and meaningless sex. Over the last two years of college I went from sleeping around to being in a relationship, lost some friends who I couldn’t make a good connection with, was a victim of rape (lost friends there too), and my parents have separated due to adultery. At my breaking point i first tried cutting myself, but i didn’t want to feel the pain, i later had the idea to end it all by shoving a knife in a toaster, but my brother was home and i didn’t want him to see. 

I’ve started to feel okay with crying again, but the sounds and illusions have come back. Like the other day I had heard a women crying in my apartment twice even though no one that was in my apartment at the time was sad. 

I’m beginning to question the emotions that i do and don’t understand, like love for instance. I don’t think I’ve ever understood or felt that towards anyone before. It’s easy for my to say I love my bf but I don’t know what saying that means to me. And I believe it’s also become a dilemma in my life at times when my friends are looking for human connection and support. I don’t feel for my friends like they do for each other and I don’t feel as happy as I wish I was, I feel like a machine or a chameleon that just processes these reactions and tries to mimic them in order to fit in. I think this is why I’ve lost friends as well, I don’t get them and they don’t get me. And the friends I live with now are all full with life and feelings, it makes me wonder what it’s like to be them.

In summary, I guess I’m trying to reach out for help now before it’s too late.
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mentalhealth,Stoneybaloney_,2019/02/05,"Occupying myself while on sick leave. Hey guys, I am wondering any tips for not falling into depression when you suddenly spent alot of time alone at home? I have had a spinal disc herniation so sitting on the computer all day is not working too good. I often fall into a state of indifference or a limbo between indifference and depression when stuff like this happens because I feel my life is set to pause. 

Anyone who has expirienced something similar who could share some kind hints with me?",8.503333333333334,8.688129333333336,8.343333333333334,67.305,61.22222222222222,12.088888888888887,38.0,11.602472056035307,4.6956,400,18,66,11,5,129,76,90,0.115,0.723,0.162,0.7646,0,1,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,5,6,0,0,5,0,7,3,1,0,1,14,11,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,2,1,8,4,11,8,3,16,0,2,0,0,6,5,0,5,7,47,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25092480660804944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647559467813884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694049700178917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14768916392837522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934376234305641,0.0,0.0,0.15624793791837455,0.0,0.4173438231729556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250199453321715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20320956325651895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398912705653545,0.21424381307428986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430225211811495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252293108449001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25653523793031113,0.0,0.0,0.17112666094213785,0.118363786155717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651585467413967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277347986591272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127304858999418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26273792146916425,0.17637976936867042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hitatertot,2019/02/05,What’s this called? I’ve had this problem where the same sentence just keeps replaying in my head. It’s “I want this person back” but it’s not true at all. Yet I can’t stop that sentence from repeating. What’s this mental thing called/ how do I stop?,-0.2457692307692305,2.0359701923076976,0.7873076923076958,100.99519230769234,97.07692307692308,4.138461538461539,18.03846153846154,5.985473137389443,-0.3772384615384614,198,6,45,2,8,61,39,52,0.217,0.7090000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.8508,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,1,2,12,5,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,3,4,2,8,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,30,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21422304268523806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5689551050846139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859197580204949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24762882770898675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807591306322864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432591851731921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665786414999114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4658372774181514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508673001728687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164323074072087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ObscurasFantaseas,2019/02/05,"difficulty w/ confirmation i need answers.

why do i need confirmation about something of me to know it’s true or real? i feel like i need people to tell me it’s real or the truth for me to believe or consider it. ...like i’m doing for this post. i have a bunch of thoughts and possible answers to this but i’m so insecure of my answers and rely someone’s say. but it’s only for things that involve me.  with other things i can formulate a good, logical and almost always right answer or solution.   ",0.31943333333333257,2.7513214099999987,3.294000000000004,83.32033333333334,94.9,6.2666666666666675,23.66666666666667,7.554174236665415,1.7662666666666669,391,17,74,9,15,138,60,100,0.068,0.8079999999999999,0.124,0.5386,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,26,12,10,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,4,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,11,5,12,11,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,5,2,51,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974690406492007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408763169690754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22217881275482526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971111679881504,0.14088095088083974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540344974556906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837691012628653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19268560240335406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4386677383767204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998079719495974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367148452657578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22231531347369346,0.18886473980284346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44891746925732334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16840919462773118,0.0,0.15682272585821155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708838062644588,0.15181552138076473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236299861333362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620241254475749,0.0,0.0,0.15655614104573198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17794388295763247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,INEEDHELPWITHMYMATH9,2019/02/05,"I’m really bad at speaking? I don’t know how to tell my therapist that I can’t be with her anymore. Just need some advice on what to say! Hi! I’ve only had one session with my therapist and I am supposed to have the next tomorrow, but she sent out an email on Monday saying how her location is moving in April and the place she is moving to is too far for me to get to (1 hour and half by public transportation). I’m kind of angry honestly that I had one session with her and find this out. If I knew this in the first place, I wouldn’t have gone at all. I can’t just continue with her because I would like to build and have a trusting relationship with my therapist who I will be seeing at least till the summer. 

I don’t know what to say in the email about not continuing with her. (I’m not good at speaking on problems) ",3.8573667711598776,4.023358425287359,5.295182863113903,85.27264890282133,71.06896551724137,8.856008359456636,26.73772204806688,8.841846274778883,1.7031333333333336,642,19,144,11,11,217,95,174,0.061,0.872,0.067,0.2474,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,7,0,18,0,0,2,1,31,29,10,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,3,0,5,0,0,7,13,0,0,4,0,0,5,7,2,0,4,5,6,21,5,31,19,3,30,0,0,1,0,20,15,0,2,11,105,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693112982998555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911781113762462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125545240581924,0.09165873290751904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742732430089366,0.12789707756726662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855747049470008,0.0,0.0,0.12611575952732645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807539871118466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565779507896028,0.16526906006889466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734588399893105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196201138838696,0.0,0.1114908528018708,0.0,0.0,0.1599107390594134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20377714980429384,0.1143563945120375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31419070022255985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387526904887596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632517292401767,0.0,0.0,0.16143155376144253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587195529448237,0.0,0.0,0.11981833193026208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13142223162797373,0.0,0.0,0.5237424896778055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681221364026304,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ToxikNoize,2019/02/05,"Currently struggling i have been having a very hard time lately.  I suffer from bpd, anxiety, and ptsd.

My regular days have always been a struggle, but tonight i cant seem to pull myself out of it.

My dog of 9 years is dying slowly of congestive heart failure (shes happy and not in pain, but is declining).   I will soon have to make that decision of when enough is enough. She just started having heavier breathing and loss of bladder control.  6 months ago, a vet told me she could have a heart attack at any moment.  Its been a long 6 months.  Every moment spent making sure shes actually sleeping and not dead.

​

My mom has been off work for 3 months due to extreme vertigo, and i believe it may be possible she had a silent stroke.  We already had an appointment for an MRI at the end of march, but I just begged her to ask the doctor to move it up (i heard her fall walking to the bathroom last night).  She isn't happy with me (I will admit to being a bit of a worry-er, but she is the only family i have).  I can't stop crying because she agreed, but she was so angry at me.  I know i did the right thing and I approached the issue the best i can, but the look of disappointment kills me. I couldn't stand the thought of not doing something and she suffered a massive stroke. 

​

Im 30 years old and I feel so broken and worthless.",2.951119652406419,4.525678503676473,4.1987299465240655,86.98076203208556,74.625,6.7101604278074864,25.23128342245989,7.348242739294969,1.1541117647058816,1051,35,213,12,22,345,159,272,0.16399999999999998,0.711,0.125,-0.89,1,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,1,0,0,4,6,14,2,2,20,0,34,12,5,3,1,37,47,18,3,2,11,1,4,0,0,3,7,1,0,0,6,12,0,2,6,0,1,5,7,10,0,0,12,6,37,4,27,28,4,38,0,5,1,0,18,8,0,2,24,149,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.10243399774521443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304813610898936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583521836648675,0.0,0.08734210162922097,0.2274663933838706,0.25509614395653096,0.07138209843206146,0.0,0.080300523965931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813126631542546,0.11941668683545555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639877506265228,0.0,0.0,0.11826341963016662,0.11015783956716266,0.0,0.1145982852114116,0.0,0.1322040009676467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773096465850648,0.08380871067741258,0.0,0.11530283732313952,0.06769592176903427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894060685288612,0.0,0.0,0.10743958559314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297082908223588,0.2169207942720849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884403880346195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895484742848304,0.0,0.05307516725631038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22348158638407836,0.09403105126465224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24877607319373835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338386387919502,0.10955971786597446,0.0,0.0,0.11613196094513355,0.0,0.057687876902238575,0.08556324025788924,0.11840890559167112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289371380522893,0.08814700287135684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401344184926323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293769888736734,0.2513542801838947,0.11156477671940487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850571458476838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014665801939223,0.0,0.0,0.07983318362002195,0.11169375794367263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833607751142525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270241986973875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896424236266661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555927150202533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504418766349888,0.0,0.0,0.08080978779573564,0.0,0.0,0.07429716016716957,0.0,0.0,0.08775826648353191,0.0,0.21947148528655105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893145661114863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973632795317243,0.0,0.0,0.08333316923698814,0.06120790695117746,0.0,0.0,0.10030178613184712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660990730042632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641823135649631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25509614395653096,0.13519239136441466
mentalhealth,wheresmycovfefe,2019/02/05,"How to My husband is having some sort of mental health crisis. He admits he is struggling with depression but I believe it to be something more. How can I encourage him to seek help? He doesn’t want to, doesn’t think it’s important, but it’s destroying our relationship and tearing our family apart (he’s less involved with our kids over whatever is going on, they’re young, they need their dad.) I’ve mentioned it to him many times, he just insists he’s fine, he’ll be fine. ",2.2102127659574435,4.6961202340425565,3.3908936170212804,87.49400000000004,80.70212765957447,6.7387234042553175,24.293617021276606,7.908726449838941,1.4950842553191488,378,14,74,7,10,122,63,94,0.115,0.708,0.177,0.6537,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,3,0,2,0,3,6,1,1,0,0,9,1,0,2,0,14,15,5,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,10,3,10,12,3,6,0,1,0,0,23,3,0,2,2,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346865420708293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558586022596659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800431089389667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688268748547708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157624432899465,0.0,0.0,0.19911403644658573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011736972133624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299368084477653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22026731030281707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189328384475403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286924268502497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31055313943825785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903449902771216,0.0,0.0,0.17321892761891042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17521454710895565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smackill,2019/02/05,"Im sad today I really tried everything, little ones. Texting, emailing on a million different platforms, I swear I tried. Ah. Taurus exists. I have accepted it now, I don't ever want to go back thinking he's an imaginary friend. Sir tried to help me when he gave me that ultimatum. But the psychiatrist says I'm okay. That makes me happy to hear. 

Maybe my parents would kick me out. Then I could move in with S. Privacy this, privacy that, protect my information fucking hell. I don't care. I don't care. I won't compete. I know I'm better than all of you motherfuckers anyways. Shame on you for making me feel weak. The 18 year old one is nice. Very apathetic though. I swear the shorter you are the more you care. I'm very short. 

Oh, Harry disappeared. He's a cunt anyways. I hope his helicopter that isn't even his crashes and he burns and dies. I don't remember else. Guess I'm a record on repeat. S will get bored of me soon. He's out if my league. Not look wise. I'm stunning, bitch. Though they don't seem to notice that. Fuck them. I deserve way better than this. I deserve so much better. 

So if you have a bunch of gas, like that kinda gas you put in a gas oven, and I make myself a nice closed space and go to sleep. Not yet though. Gotta hurry up and die, parents. I don't want S to disappear. I don't think I'll handle that. If he rejects me. If he dies because he's old. My parents though? Yeah it's fine, I'm sorry guys. 

I deserve better. I'm sad. Why doesn't anyone love me. I'm not that bad. I'm not that bad. You should love me. None of these pathetic little men. To be hugged and petted and told everything will be okay. Cold ",-0.8005263157894724,1.3276695321637426,1.578245614035087,95.0277192982456,99.29239766081871,4.63859649122807,17.444444444444443,6.42735559955562,-0.04328888888888915,1268,38,281,18,54,426,180,342,0.17800000000000002,0.657,0.165,-0.7124,4,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,0,7,2,5,15,34,5,1,11,4,21,7,1,3,2,41,57,20,3,10,9,3,1,1,1,6,1,2,2,3,14,11,0,1,8,0,0,6,15,13,1,3,2,5,44,21,23,46,5,33,1,3,1,5,35,14,5,8,13,153,58,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240461463031052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862657465159433,0.14903751123125106,0.0544050470245921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31573212299149994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729843303684344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125765167286742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778775053359435,0.09324566944180204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455565565365559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058947781474820826,0.08073036268635725,0.0,0.0,0.16042156396844506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0451267147562579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689531567810173,0.1650175692973711,0.04662864891127642,0.0,0.10144393954455047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831726628067228,0.08837003006007091,0.0,0.09500667000565367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058952702317757,0.0,0.059821377056035914,0.0,0.0,0.08864388158898567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640367704409757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049048632353615874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043602300808836265,0.17890085330108355,0.0,0.0,0.07494624813870608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611004812823179,0.0,0.17872216681802033,0.0,0.08966209725235808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948570134795685,0.06560790426274342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160998973351247,0.18730253995403945,0.0,0.12095416406013285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972996364635615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971937627899783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717486371834023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110113358854694,0.0,0.0,0.07097397606508851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124846722692132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931293745343666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990637013554528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437364876232392,0.3507447266788954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459712658510272,0.08528075042056313,0.0,0.1817815851403015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727869110379807,0.10528213555772284,0.07084129184174354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053287443417192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339956184821517,0.0,0.0,0.05747309709695705
mentalhealth,Withdrawalresearcher,2019/02/05,"My Psychiatric Survivor activist study needs some help from likeminded reddit people  

Hey there advocates/activists...hopefully there are a few of you on here. (Moderator, please let me know if this is OK to post?)

I wanted to share a project I'm working on, as someone who has been following & a part of the psychiatric survivor/patient advocate/mad movement for many years now. I'm sharing this here because it has relevance to many people here, and may inspire or benefit quite a few.  Basically looking for people who have dealt with anti psychotics, have dealt with the side effects and experiences that come along with taking them, and/or especially people who have successfully stopped taking them This study is a large, international harm reduction project that is publishing a peer-based research PhD on mental health (the first of it's kind, in fact). 

So,  I am a psychiatric survivor and Mad Pride Organizer in Canada. Right now, I'm an assistant with Maastricht University in The Netherlands, working on behalf of my activist friend who is a PhD Candidate and well known international activist and psychiatric survivor. His name is Will Hall, and he's looking for feedback/participants to take an international survey on anti psychotic medication withdrawal that he's designed.  If you're curious about Will Hall and his work, I strongly recommend this introduction on the subject at hand: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4bdG601k4k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4bdG601k4k&fbclid=IwAR0lVda5lYRZQkNx-IjyXqVUP0qY-bgfTZmTRATpEfulffkr3cOTCnuLd8U) (more information on how this relates to post psychiatric thinking below...)

This is the survey link:

www.antipsychoticwithdrawalsurvey.com

The Facebook page: 

https://www.facebook.com/maastrichtantipsychoticwithdrawalsurvey/

The data collected from consumer/survivors & those of you who have successfully stopped taking or who are currently taking neuroleptic / anti psychotic medication is of particular value to Will's research.

For more detailed information on this project, and why it's creating change in the mental health system, please see:

https://www.madinamerica.com/2018/09/ever-stop-taking-antipsychotics/

https://www.madinamerica.com/2016/05/please-join-groundbreaking-research-psychiatric-medications/

And lastly, from Will Hall's radio show: https://www.madnessradio.net/new-vision-for-psychiatry-jim-van-os-madness-radio/",17.312777777777775,19.685628425925923,12.334938271604939,38.687222222222225,42.518518518518526,13.249382716049382,45.1604938271605,12.554650470220118,6.403704938271606,2046,88,216,49,18,574,175,324,0.05,0.765,0.184,0.9914,1,0,0,0,0,0,128.0,0,2,2,10,11,14,1,0,19,1,23,5,1,2,1,36,40,16,0,4,4,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,0,20,15,0,2,8,2,0,3,0,2,1,1,1,4,12,12,40,33,7,33,0,0,3,0,22,19,0,6,8,144,32,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420932422517597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415534400660006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133346559024042,0.09065779136237144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519859779883484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029481502853998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895199044159348,0.0,0.0,0.08131071905199512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22373743099657886,0.0,0.0,0.07054237122970836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959471048864364,0.057838969981536786,0.08578734303544865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076184133567745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767557458104687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134003923841713,0.0,0.0,0.11690159029797866,0.2120431222398111,0.21212100288283225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803657969295877,0.0,0.10164464312712483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139682471810037,0.0,0.2918498348824464,0.0,0.0,0.2310510974422429,0.0,0.0,0.20158799514211093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193921320639776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898772103886137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386529094875116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917231373412783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639643550779942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956493513680363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743566252520809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207523009218325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462637352239907,0.0,0.09496571633931722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22985514601070406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777324011342772
mentalhealth,phisch13,2019/02/05,"How to get help? Don’t know where to start. I’m beginning to think I may have depression or some other mental health issues. I’ve had a lot of self doubt, I’m spending less and less time with my friends. My hobbies aren’t fun anymore.   I have voices in my head with some pretty dark thoughts. I had a super traumatic experience last year and haven’t been the same since. Not really sure what else to do. 

I tried setting up therapy, but I got scared and cancelled about a month ago before my first appointment. 

I’m an adult (23) who just moved out of college this summer.  I’m in a new city and don’t have a doctor as far as I know. I have super basic health insurance through work. I’m intimidated because I don’t even know how to start getting help. Google told me to see my doctor, I don’t even know how to find a doctor. I feel more comfortable getting help from a doctor and seeing what they think before talking to a therapist though. 

What should I do?

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mentalhealth,Skulls4Life,2019/02/05,"In 12 hours ⛔TRIGGER WARNING ⛔
In 12 hours I will be walking into a building where I will be getting my first official mental health assessment done on me. From what I know right now these are the mental illnesses i have:
ADD
ADHD
PTSD
Depression 
Anxiety 
Insomnia 
And possibly bipolar disorder

This is the only place I know I can open up about this and have no one know who I really am so no one can look at my face and body and end up telling me it's not just mental health I need help with.
.
Since i was a little girl i remember i knew everyone in school. I never thought of myself as a ""cool kid"" cuz i was always bullied. I always tried to be as nice as I could growing. I helped those in need when I could. My parents would isolate me the most out of everyone I knew including my younger brothers. My mom and step dad never made me feel loved. They would hurt me at times... physically. Most of the time they just told me I was grounded for little things like grabbing food and running off to my room to eat it. They didnt understand why i did that. We didnt have much food growing up so when dinner was made my parents tried to split up the food as evenly as possible for us kids. I have 2 younger brothers. They would finish their food and still be hungry after but if we got any other food we got in trouble. So instead of me eating my full meal I would sit and wait for my brothers to finish and if they said they were hungry i would split my food in half and most night i went without dinner. 
.
When i would try to explain this to my mom she would start crying but when i tried to hig her she would get verbally abusive towards me. That's when suddenly I was the problem. 
.
Doctors started to notice something was wrong with me at a young age. They did blood work and all kinds of other tests on me. Sometimes I felt like a science experiment. Finally at 8 years old I was diagnosed with ADD. About one year later I was diagnosed with ADHD. At that point they put me on meds. Adderall to be specific. I hated it. Could never sleep at night. At 10 years old that's when I was diagnosed with insomnia. In a result of that I got put on more meds. I hated them all. By the time I was 12 years old I started to self harm. It started out as punching things just to feel the release. It started to escalate so instead of punching things I started to burn myself. The burns weren't too bad. Small scars here and there from it. But when I was 15 is when things got worse. 
...
I got home from a week visit at my father's house (the one week a year I seen him). I run straight to my uncle's home that was right next to mine. He was my all time best friend. We talked and played cards for about an hour. I asked him to get me water while I shuffled the cards.... then I heard a loud snapping/popping sound. I called out for him asking if he was ok... no response... I called out again... no response. Finally I walked over to find him hanging by his neck from a rope. I freaked out and screamed for help and I lifted him body up hoping he wasnt dead. My other uncle comes running in. He grabs a knife and helps me get him down. We lay him on the floor as my other uncle calls 911 I stood frozen staring at his body. I tried to focus enough to find a pulse but before I knew it I had police officers lifting me up and away from him body... they sat me down and had someone look at me since I was so unresponsive. At that moment I was diagnosed with PTSD. I started to get flashbacks of what happened every night for months on end. Before I found out why he did it I couldn't help but think to myself ""what did i say wrong"" and ""what could i have done differently"".... almost 5 months later my older sisters found out I was acting out online. That's when they seen my arms... then my thighs.... then they made me get nearly naked and show them my full body. That's when they found all the marks, cuts, bruises, and scars. I told them that day that if they told my mom what I was doing I would just kill myself cuz it would be easier than living another day. At that moment when I said that I meant it more than anything. I had attempted before and I wasnt afraid to do it again. My oldest sister got worried the most. She took me to my mom and told her everything. My mom and oldest sister took me to the hospital. They wanted an evaluation done on me. They tried to 51-50 me. That night was the longest night of my life (it's been 5 and half years since then). Finally someone came in to see if I needed to get evaluated but at that time it was already 3am and I was exhausted. I told the lady ""I'm sorry for wasting your time but right now I just want sleep. In this very moment I dont want to even harm myself in any way...I JUST WANT SLEEP""... she understood and that's the moment I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at age 15. So much happened after this. ... let's just say that when it came to school I was always ""lazy"" even tho I kept telling EVERYONE around there was something else wrong with me and I didnt understand the work. No one ever really cared.
...
Finally I met this girl named Celeste. I taught her how to swim at our high school. Any time she ever seen me she made sure to run to me and give me the biggest huge. If she seen I was sad she always made sure to get at least one smile out of me. If she seen I couldn't eat lunch she would share hers with me. If she noticed I didnt look to clean she would invite me to her home to bath. I have always been a bigger girl but when she seen my clothes torn or dirty she would go to yard sales and the next day bring me a new outfit with a ring or necklace to go with it. Sometimes even shoes. She went out of her way at all times to be there for me excepting nothing in return. 1 year after meeting her she got cancer for the second time in her life. She was such a beautiful soul. I believe she was my living guardian angel. Right between my 17 birthday and her 17th birthday she passed away. I didnt find out right away. I was in class when a mutual friend looked at her phone, showed her boyfriend, then showed her best friend and they all started crying. All three of them asked to leave class. As they left they all looked at me knowing I had no clue. Class finally ended and I was walking to where our mutual friends group usually hung out. Teachers surrounded everyone as everyone was crying. No one wanted to tell me. Finally I figured it out. Her brother came up to me and grabbed my hand. I yelled and said that it couldn't happen. She was getting better. I started to back away and that when other friends of mine started to find out what happened and they all found me. I fell into someone's arms. I didnt cares who's arms. I just fell. Its was like losing my uncle all over again. And that's when people started to worry about me. That's when people started to have suspicion that I have bipolar disorder. That day was such a painful day. People I didn't know would come up to me with small gifts. Sometimes it was pictures of us. Sometimes it was a letter expressing their condolences. Sometimes it was candy. But one time it was the floaty I kept on me at all times while I was teaching her how to swim. The day after I her funeral teachers and students started acting like nothing had happened. They started treating me as if I should just be ok. 
...
When i was 19 years old a close family friend passed away. I of course go to his funeral. It was at the same church hers was at. I turned around the corner after the service to help prep the tables for everyone to eat. And that's when I seen her... or at least I thought it was her... I fell over crying. Turns out it was her older sister. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't handle seeing her cuz all i wanted to do was run up to her as if she was Celeste and hug her and say ""you'll never believe what's been going on I have so much to tell you"" but I knew it wasmt really her. I couldn't help but cry even more. 
...
I am 20 years old (nearly 21) and I'm hoping tomorrow I have the bravery and courage to say all of this (and more) to the lady in the assessment. 
.
If you read threw all of this and you have any advice of how to stay calm while talking about it please do leave it in the comments.",1.520126502555243,3.58009150534442,2.783000215936081,93.28796249910029,80.50237529691212,5.7213791117829125,21.13242640178507,6.823360437735567,0.344279936658749,6381,184,1389,69,165,2054,507,1684,0.105,0.8009999999999999,0.094,-0.9604,5,0,2,0,0,1,206.0,9,5,26,8,71,53,4,1,54,3,131,52,17,12,22,240,265,124,4,48,37,17,7,4,6,18,18,13,7,6,80,92,15,3,30,9,1,39,30,22,0,13,126,37,285,31,224,102,33,295,3,5,16,2,177,119,0,21,138,978,365,15,0.0,0.031676528946181184,0.0,0.0,0.0642603984470486,0.026125071290388737,0.0,0.0,0.02677117783111316,0.0,0.02950266809357785,0.0,0.11122804753601492,0.0,0.0,0.07272269651881648,0.02803391279903287,0.04090430768320931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02200057541623426,0.047599524628125334,0.07498067221352367,0.0,0.12559176816915,0.020557516518269037,0.022322555908791602,0.0,0.0,0.06824838750946721,0.0602422383479493,0.056113334519268566,0.02364487943153928,0.0,0.1484824417832887,0.0,0.0,0.0818980803207714,0.09173293793545692,0.054516100691977126,0.0,0.0,0.04605956238526074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538268790217121,0.0,0.1468353661245642,0.10345093691221248,0.0,0.04605352460643013,0.13567699286029095,0.0,0.02793231921509529,0.06128110865588639,0.027364341161228604,0.0,0.08207736902478567,0.03133314737942843,0.0,0.0,0.10942606088282596,0.022333609544284545,0.0,0.07103765723788355,0.027624336908299758,0.0,0.08829086964751996,0.048366562745590376,0.022525337725849272,0.15327826962324215,0.02402763774755328,0.026151898691002564,0.025203319518045775,0.0,0.027035975166376302,0.0,0.02566973238575821,0.17572090197364051,0.0977409933146928,0.022740723991869324,0.19396795367393127,0.11725391517867342,0.1239320773367166,0.0,0.12571111155935813,0.025646587951786027,0.060776323849843585,0.0,0.1496766013744601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182080837111524,0.0,0.0,0.052790431223473586,0.0,0.056835976290848675,0.0,0.0,0.12543905436821068,0.028246929085052674,0.08045196577279556,0.0531076501853855,0.07898558363007213,0.03084852811844231,0.02862030330216968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02957824698858498,0.027840323092966142,0.07346411174730971,0.0,0.0,0.05661687671626992,0.029047587578877727,0.027338284715077085,0.03776735369220468,0.05224535968247472,0.053590861346946295,0.04721487884802208,0.0,0.13470368368950325,0.029909556282960707,0.0,0.0,0.024129324695833426,0.12648622038509855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059392976713315476,0.0,0.08082758595827473,0.0,0.0,0.15655817710754055,0.04267914373965038,0.0,0.058959765183866475,0.059470851705395865,0.08247852714431389,0.02582076901988464,0.0568658181946866,0.12544463780956375,0.0,0.05130578672866907,0.060875806579960265,0.14026909686834624,0.0,0.14493028324629267,0.02033312452300424,0.028447858217962987,0.0,0.059371967963366384,0.0,0.0,0.0556039177999248,0.0,0.02793231921509529,0.029346932781226676,0.025273157223951744,0.060279249567600564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025581724343745317,0.06250342199455086,0.053751992409006064,0.0,0.0,0.02674217213259876,0.0,0.0513812562241406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03028547227242375,0.1141574517947552,0.07629314277375775,0.08504278074391065,0.0,0.0811715515092342,0.04260856725454428,0.0,0.027890370255042297,0.0,0.0,0.06634624916493391,0.0,0.08026273479255598,0.0,0.06795727679474213,0.04116372173628692,0.1322076828969598,0.029927573462156725,0.2649237669394511,0.028495885942695674,0.02135055544584277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039472398072263,0.0,0.0,0.042977059766683014,0.09347005428721906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104601749557671,0.01713066829885521,0.0,0.042449107755920916,0.17148292616386165,0.0,0.0,0.12773189135270185,0.059406998045511424,0.10890760490993147,0.058159869257852076,0.0,0.055664025131042134,0.06431767552098494,0.0,0.029444756329201443,0.022059123164214583,0.09461375211255332,0.042441897606157936,0.042890308117126616,0.0,0.0,0.049567109406800175,0.048248245081418,0.0,0.0,0.025771525498382145,0.0,0.03892670550118692,0.054301253102888726,0.027245185116772857,0.2658842533213325,0.08769137098108136,0.0,0.1549478076142612
mentalhealth,throwaway94861,2019/02/05,"Im so proud today My significant other today went to the doctor. He started meds today for his depression and anxiety. Is going to counseling and working on a path to feel better. 

I can't tell you how proud I am of him. He's felt so much pain and been told for so long man up, or pills don't help, or your just selfish for feeling this way.

He's not. He's never been selfish. He just was hurting. Manning up is taking care of yourself. And as pills don't always work for people he is trying because many other options were exhausted.

Males deserve help too. Please keep reaching out. Please keep going. Please keep searching for the right path for you to help you feel better. 



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mentalhealth,depressedvanxitu,2019/02/05,"I’m a pedophile. I want to kill my self before I hurt any children. I can’t find anyone my age attractive, and it makes me so depressed. Sex isn’t fun. It feels so bland, I don’t last in relationships. I’m a gay male, but I can’t find men my age attractive. I find young boys attractive but I don’t want to hurt them. But I can’t keep living life this way feeling so lonely and without love. Yes I have seen therapists for depression.",0.5253260869565253,2.649160010869565,2.6197391304347843,92.66656521739132,84.76086956521739,6.288695652173913,21.156521739130433,7.554174236665415,0.7391095652173916,339,11,77,6,10,114,56,92,0.282,0.562,0.156,-0.9514,0,2,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,3,11,1,0,2,1,7,4,0,1,0,15,17,8,1,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,2,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,1,3,14,5,5,16,0,6,0,5,1,3,8,1,0,0,4,39,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515156169948352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868304283744572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566020456547349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31702182686633545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610940881516772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5046198177852576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940311155709289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635806602728711,0.20360982087602605,0.0,0.0,0.1500148269321999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999087003362658,0.0,0.0,0.16250816061951054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610069829608756,0.0,0.12284621569996225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19758700743172952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919908672744124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21368129668380875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170997391819772,0.14608011036900648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17740522933805408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,walnut_junkie,2019/02/05,I had my second therapy session today. I don't feel like I'm benefiting. It all feels very superficial. Am I being ridiculous? I feel like there no deep conversations about why I am the way I am just simple basic shit about what I'm doing and I don't feel any better afterwards. the advice she gives me is very obvious. Like I know I don't want to do the thing but I have to. telling me I have to doesn't solve it or help me figure out how to do it it just makes me mad because  I   a l r e a d y   k n o w.  I want ways to cope and a reason behind why I am like this. I want to know why I'm sad so I can fix it. I just want to cry. I want to crawl in a hole and cry. But I am so busy and have so much on so I guess I just keep going being sad and confused. ,-1.3455367231638429,0.125433457627123,2.1783333333333346,96.95925141242941,87.30508474576271,5.289265536723164,16.048022598870055,6.42735559955562,-0.6139740112994345,570,11,154,6,18,209,92,177,0.272,0.696,0.033,-0.986,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,12,12,3,1,7,0,20,1,1,3,2,33,39,13,0,5,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,8,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,1,4,27,6,14,36,2,9,0,2,0,0,5,4,1,3,6,98,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815410331347966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614269389373503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618343893727934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250384000682679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105967921183621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859422556056606,0.2020026360150864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562379685573547,0.08034904891583787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574511149949846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947634875551601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566431560250044,0.0,0.0,0.15539660537354752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762829137954522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437170380986107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392996826700952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536134884230592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512370172132733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357163922327488,0.0,0.16167941935707827,0.0,0.09392604839231747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401093633869815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23330526808972596,0.4169455315847785,0.2244404327753327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38271817299066535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,onxblood,2019/02/05,I hate forced mental evaluations im sick of when ever I lose it itll only take me like 30 mins to calm down but idiots call the cops on me and I have to stay at the hostpital for 3-4 hours waiting for a doctor I hate that people should mind their own business im not a threat if im staying in my house,0.4978260869565218,1.8223990000000043,3.0892028985507274,93.39728260869568,80.73913043478261,5.759420289855073,18.746376811594203,6.42735559955562,-0.20017101449275376,237,5,58,2,6,83,54,69,0.19,0.71,0.1,-0.7458,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,1,2,7,4,0,4,0,3,2,0,0,1,8,7,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,8,2,9,5,1,10,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18863043854392805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18907943825390489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670992636059847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36476613933823776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192227730409727,0.21315413125528287,0.0,0.0,0.5986217418183415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024996437820323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666611584343555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861648395913561,0.0,0.1865250888155871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404958277673997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806883089664034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39379615060685297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889430472387387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TisAPrankBro,2019/02/05,Need someone to talk to. If anyone is free to chat that would be terrific. I'm having very bad thoughts tonight. Can't sleep.,0.34660000000000224,2.7494411600000035,1.0075000000000005,98.97125,97.4,4.1000000000000005,22.25,5.985473137389443,0.2724000000000002,99,4,21,1,4,30,23,25,0.126,0.662,0.212,0.3832,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,0,4,8,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28745314254677434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432542706542479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048280539010441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114004179524908,0.0,0.348326681722574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33042944018939124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32637027727061435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33920346146484776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920361482451374,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MissySahara,2019/02/05,"Stop working up to a panic attach? Hi y’all. Do ever things ever start to build up and you feel like you are headed towards a panic attack? I’m starting to feel that way, and I was hoping for some advice. What are things you do to prevent a panic attack from happening? Thanks!",0.8212499999999991,3.2852086250000028,2.9121428571428574,88.43285714285715,87.75,3.9142857142857146,16.92857142857143,5.288315135182226,-0.3695428571428572,217,5,40,1,7,73,38,56,0.28,0.585,0.136,-0.8964,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,4,0,1,2,8,2,3,3,0,5,1,1,0,2,10,13,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,5,3,9,12,1,9,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,6,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045929303950952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3968979756390735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31557923807073124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640270383452286,0.12461890635675878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542553982493525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902423671144313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732568000478686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522184472799782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6139980196197059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24693695033353014,0.0,0.0,0.14583840515062174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605995434013135,0.0,0.0,0.23177838982632734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384611697473627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269933127901289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xxgreenhornet,2019/02/05,Scared to go to the doctor Is/was anyone else scared to go the doctor and get diagnosed?  Im probably depressed. Ive never cut myself. But sometimes Ill hurt myself on purpose just to bleed. I think I have some sort of social anxiety. Social interactions kind of scare me. I get really nervous that everyone's watching me and judging me. I literally sweat through my shirt within minutes. And this last one really scares me. I might be bipolar. I have highs and lows. I have times where all I wanna do is be social with my friends and other times where I purposefully start fights to push my friends away. Im just scared of the stigma that might come with all this if I was to go to the doctor and become diagnosed. How everyone would judge me and think Im no longer a normal functioning person. Ill be 21 soon And ive wasted the last 4-6 years being sad. I dont wanna be sad anymore. ,2.165082070707072,4.5255869602272725,3.777878787878791,85.39237373737376,79.9659090909091,6.638383838383841,22.277777777777786,7.793537801064563,1.1921739898989905,699,22,135,12,18,232,98,176,0.25,0.708,0.042,-0.9888,0,0,0,0,1,3,18.0,0,0,0,0,7,16,2,6,6,0,17,11,2,1,3,29,26,11,0,5,4,0,0,0,2,3,9,0,0,1,5,11,0,0,2,0,0,5,3,13,0,1,1,1,23,3,18,17,3,20,0,5,1,0,8,7,0,5,8,89,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698139461644465,0.0,0.09979755699299499,0.0703625798865969,0.10310695194904312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454485371940474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113752474462417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668351938140698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866721563572882,0.20427392065678168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089960834931234,0.0,0.0,0.11793718166173107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840631467401123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19231185545503776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549241129616215,0.0,0.10514966091722958,0.0,0.1715704201323827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632073332910937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772610452717947,0.0,0.3260918187330172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479027856269983,0.0,0.16405316522589064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21350427872571628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761177740316433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985956756792837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818924435088125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878659149906589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849576544139224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893184068900604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5037390933518886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30773771799047084,0.0,0.0,0.09952528117320407,0.0,0.07122617292181903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895881251146746,0.0,0.0,0.11735589771878242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148440482722816,0.0,0.0,0.06480218505909326
mentalhealth,prider90,2019/02/05,"Mental problem or something else ? 29 y.o male from Romania here. Currently not taking any meds.

I had these symptoms almost everyday for almost 2 years. Did bloodworks including iron/vitamin d/calcium levels & hormone panel, brain MRI scan, EEG,ECG. All good.

​

Basically every day  I get:

\-drunk/unsteady/faint feeling ; like walking on a boat.

\-restless legs/agitation 

\-extreme yawning

\-feeling hot then cold; like my clothes are burning 

\-constant forehead pressure

\-sometimes waves of heat through my back followed by the feeling that I will pass out at any moment.

​

I was diagnosed with anxiety. Doc prescribed benzos but It did not help at all.  Went to a neurologist and prescribed low dose Depakote to ease the restlessness feeling but with absolutely no luck.

I tried some mild workouts and cardio but I end up having sleep problems after and increased restlessness

I'm starting to think seriously that something else is going on. 

Considering going to a clinic in another country. I can't go on like this.",5.3167584415584415,8.90453192,5.313415584415587,71.13599350649353,78.37142857142857,7.524675324675325,37.0974025974026,8.438071523408619,4.261571428571429,846,51,111,19,22,264,137,175,0.135,0.7390000000000001,0.126,-0.363,2,0,2,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,0,2,13,0,4,5,0,9,10,3,0,2,25,23,8,0,2,6,0,5,3,0,1,7,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,5,1,0,8,4,8,0,0,5,7,9,5,20,17,4,29,0,1,1,0,2,10,0,5,14,64,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24976170798335898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40537555242453577,0.3030769768942941,0.16961660228660025,0.13077119703724033,0.09540418631639257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589567687103694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921961444276726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476915206443146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042879441301043,0.0,0.0,0.1265798527229881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083614139207269,0.0,0.1104576391495814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507507101110193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522321347662965,0.08909413546204076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515676866621685,0.0,0.21262977126157392,0.10460234166069066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359169131302127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18278365941002608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852669650654606,0.0,0.12568016275105526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386647014771121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248018662437922,0.0,0.0,0.1920184743582357,0.12334315993557465,0.0,0.08827165454580138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962331240242142,0.09376775368113953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799102863574037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467112649494235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560908884304465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030769768942941,0.0803103109250038
mentalhealth,woeclub,2019/02/05,I just need to vent they took away my meds My prescription ran out this weekend but I have it set automatically so I never have a problem. My last pill was on Thursday and it’s Monday now this weekend has been hell. Off antidepressants cold turkey I get so nauseous and manic. My doctors office was closed for the weekend and then today I tried to call to tell them and they made me feel like a drug addict. I was so humiliated. I asked for a couple until I was able to come in they said it wasn’t possible. I’ve just been throwing up and crying all weekend. I’m losing it. I work two jobs and go to college full time. I can’t handle this. I just needed to tell someone I feel so alone. My friends in the next room but I’m tired of being the sad sick one. ,-0.19149597238204666,2.110282278481016,2.072934407364791,92.99228998849254,93.30379746835443,4.1385500575374,17.941311852704263,5.852544927426893,-0.31546582278481017,592,17,128,5,22,199,98,158,0.199,0.737,0.065,-0.9774,1,1,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,4,2,8,6,1,0,6,0,12,6,0,1,2,22,26,14,0,3,5,0,2,1,1,0,6,1,1,0,7,9,0,0,2,4,0,5,3,4,0,2,11,4,22,2,17,14,2,30,1,2,0,0,10,10,1,0,15,86,29,4,0.16527490475104906,0.0,0.0,0.18017404167084133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117495701876695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545097254700729,0.0,0.15528121353078336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16876415659295804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423696960028339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287353852810648,0.1815467221573836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916586831005764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19166641820171876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713591559475566,0.11807242497763687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276909814285329,0.0,0.08634931626229074,0.0,0.0939295371316958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400984062925142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134721106319793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807449701034598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490034273306136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638711105545816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835831606182172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24509849536437775,0.12747019541869428,0.0,0.1757717362056548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199455280746526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863226220960472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814576298331448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721428199060974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003689045822595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889151030774481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637312606591317,0.1899591900906662,0.15666128461662332,0.0,0.18362650043081888,0.11221081139628454,0.0,0.16144956655884318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120322099073379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SmellyCatsWeedDealer,2019/02/05,"I just relapsed It's been so good lately. I want to fucking kick myself. I knew better than to think it would last for such a long time. 

After being forcefully put in a mental institute about a year ago, I spent close to 6 months hiding in my bedroom doing nothing and being too depressed to even eat, sleep, or think. 

But I moved, got a job, started doing things and was trying to get back into a university. 

Then, just like it happened last year and all the other times, I had a panic attack out of the blue. My whole body wouldn't stop shaking, I couldn't talk and my lungs felt like they had stopped working. Without even realizing it, I took a blade and began cutting at all my old scars. 

After nearly a year of being clean and almost 8 years of struggling with self-harm, suicide, and depression, I just ruined it all again. 

I don't know what to do. ",5.577529411764708,5.563123458823533,6.0329411764705885,82.08823529411767,67.35294117647058,7.976470588235292,28.176470588235286,7.1686216300943375,1.4662823529411764,668,19,131,5,10,216,113,170,0.166,0.7240000000000001,0.11,-0.8962,1,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,1,2,11,13,3,3,10,0,14,5,3,0,3,33,28,11,1,4,6,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,8,11,1,2,6,0,1,4,4,9,0,0,10,2,16,4,22,12,4,33,0,3,1,1,2,7,1,2,24,94,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127687150135208,0.0,0.1369989108201755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556450541631172,0.0,0.105201100599223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100038141880134,0.0,0.15196890423393705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356744537096348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999431824462638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18072799117592475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136237038503254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648183299564322,0.07147938258356715,0.0,0.0,0.11475263355989933,0.10942221675290613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098368492212612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576624174067467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518909595420369,0.22304244937997947,0.15433153449991016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368028513838706,0.0,0.0,0.12107560090450573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787578206138915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920319314965854,0.14541104912008174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127619832309065,0.0,0.14356270474106433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052110934534014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753530869848124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272626970007835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691225834237114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683726642256402,0.0,0.0,0.22876434612377994,0.0,0.14302712677732238,0.0,0.14965171219102574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996547136313163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089277913365934,0.17532907318237986,0.0,0.0,0.15955404969079268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200478063898748,0.0928873541215315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069611947222345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274733472226845,0.0,0.1318832867842456,0.0,0.09960182344466156,0.0,0.0,0.09718835185643054,0.0,0.0,0.3524135132864554
mentalhealth,underliamdm,2019/02/05,"I've acted like a child Hello guys.
So, I've never used Reddit for this purpose, but my latest episode made me cry for help anywhere that I could possibly think about.
I have a serious hard time controlling my anger since I can remember. By reading on various places, I relate a lot with something called intermittent explosive disorder (overreacting by the littlest things with anger and feeling like shit when realizing what I've just done), I was never medically diagnosed with that, but just by reading it and realizing that this could really be a real problem, made it really easier to notice that it was something that I had to work on, because until then, in my head, it was ""just the way I was"".
Two years that I've been working on control myself and actually got really good results, sure, I do have some angry moments, like when I'm in traffic, or if something don't go as the way I expected, but just ""manageable anger"", I hadn't black out and acted like an animal in those years, until today.
I took my aunt's car to run some errands since I don't have one of my own, but I crashed its reviewmirror when I was parking it back on her garage. It was nothing big, it was manageable, but not in my head. The frustration that I felt for doing something so stupid made me blackout I'm anger and I started to punch my own head. And then, after I realized the little show that I've putted in front of my hole family and screaming at my poor old grandma, I feel like shit. I felt so ashamed that I hid in the darkness of the garage for a good hour until everybody went sleep so I could go inside the house without having to face anyone. And now I still don't know how I'm going to face them tomorrow, after acting like a child with all.of the judgement and commentaries. I don't expect them to understand that ""I wasn't controlling what I was doing"" because they won't. They all come from a older generation where ""depression is something that only rich people have"" and it's not they're fault, that's the way they were raised.
I'm actually posting this because I wold like to know if anyone has ever had some situation like this and if so, how do you got over it.

Thanks if you took your time to read it and sorry for my broken English, it is not my main language.",8.655044843049332,6.510467845291481,8.796237668161435,71.71664349775786,62.251121076233176,12.059013452914801,36.87399103139013,10.686352973137794,3.747483766816144,1793,65,343,35,20,593,210,446,0.165,0.7190000000000001,0.116,-0.9819,0,0,5,0,0,0,51.0,0,3,5,5,20,27,8,1,18,0,37,10,8,10,5,74,64,38,0,10,18,1,5,8,0,1,2,1,0,3,32,18,0,3,12,4,2,14,13,14,0,2,25,7,49,13,46,34,9,63,0,1,1,0,16,17,2,9,36,241,81,7,0.0,0.0,0.14975637065524616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073039089612268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900124343656146,0.0,0.14032313750053788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835071857534802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066096783880952,0.0,0.0,0.25818032639201577,0.18378988348521094,0.0,0.0842851730082571,0.0,0.0,0.06608811949636342,0.07788013963045258,0.0,0.0,0.08794013631595927,0.0,0.0,0.07852224150649541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940739510549074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233496268735429,0.0,0.07759478879263537,0.10963298756908828,0.14734718837244373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308236336131807,0.12871629724573733,0.12273724915866688,0.0,0.0,0.07597554857634685,0.0,0.0,0.06873571898129686,0.0,0.2362437910716749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051431033070095236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556437477252834,0.08853703294161724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433847419656587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29989431673976896,0.07690441239573496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652337762107034,0.0,0.21781359456565752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729820136531762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183590355869615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362526523552547,0.08735851629328265,0.08051605964758599,0.0,0.05199477108254519,0.058357225627986765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05319547049412034,0.0,0.0801673472713983,0.0,0.0,0.08650243998954374,0.07348688925501952,0.0,0.0,0.07342100609239433,0.0,0.0771356400590894,0.0,0.0,0.2302546720488896,0.08733644083695677,0.14746713222206467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692103058988387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752611253653248,0.1269450096141812,0.08624862612205204,0.07678620696832611,0.0,0.0,0.2953555655372083,0.0,0.08589384061723061,0.054310450151042015,0.0,0.06127731033301104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231786424353794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064340500193504,0.0,0.0,0.050976529311426766,0.04916599384140235,0.0,0.0,0.08948468479392706,0.0,0.07273181978004045,0.0,0.17050146842414812,0.0,0.0,0.07495483525019833,0.07987946147329739,0.0,0.06627076888762161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827159956562732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113021375802696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396574621794967,0.0,0.11172186219175914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988242298289302
mentalhealth,gods_soni,2019/02/05,"Venting - Rumors being spread about me (and an ex). Hi, I’m indifferent about even talking about this, but basically I have an ex. we’ve been broken up for almost 2 years and for some reason I’m still hearing rumors being spread about her and I. And i got fed up with it so I wanted to talk to her myself and address everything from my point of view. But talking to me apparently made her feel worse because it opened up old wounds. The thing is I didn’t say anything rude, I just denied rumors that just weren’t true and that’s it. And I feel awful because I was just trying to help but I seemed to have just upset her more. It makes me sad, I want her to be okay whether that means cutting me out of her life or something I don’t care, but I don’t know how to help her now, and that is only making me feel even worse about myself piled on top of the rumors being spread about me still. It just feels like I’m being attacker and everything that can go wrong for me is going wrong.

I’m sorry if some of this is confusing or doesn’t make sense, there’s just really no one in my life I can talk about this with so I just wanted to get this out of my system.",3.1966345226615225,3.9221531475409854,4.3707618129218915,89.29053519768566,72.85245901639344,7.0526518804243015,21.729990356798453,7.048011613610866,0.4089101253616199,904,18,202,8,17,297,121,244,0.202,0.7090000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9862,3,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,23,12,3,2,4,2,20,4,0,6,1,50,45,20,0,4,15,2,4,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,15,14,1,0,8,0,0,2,6,8,0,1,7,7,33,4,33,33,3,18,0,1,1,0,22,10,0,8,6,143,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610351202060566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363196733305548,0.0,0.0,0.14326674453908128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353493662526646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839688642569955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635485838006267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263605676702014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547016377755067,0.0899664201763986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579469228542864,0.0,0.14314102901105516,0.0,0.1007199673560422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193542236704726,0.0,0.16882020763593858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920937552507214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790012715751202,0.061524406810772994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916066385570775,0.2521833732036994,0.0,0.0,0.1371777417728484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321452933796563,0.0,0.08533532700164874,0.09577757201714128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190472046427976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067577878928804,0.1294798963551966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014682013114426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464449484757087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694922486286596,0.0,0.14097146355087045,0.0,0.0,0.20114019953073467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048800696844685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366415906118063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550010731400495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228352914113056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566725715656518,0.0,0.27537550332119937,0.0,0.08109659675921622
mentalhealth,hardjazz,2019/02/06,"I feel the need to be constantly working I feel that when I am not doing work, I am wasting time, even when I finished all my work. I’ve done several meditations to reduce anxiety and stress, but it’s always in the back of my mind and I can’t get rid of it. This feeling/condition ironically reduces my productivity because I spend so much time compulsively planning ahead, organizing (my work space and my task list). I don’t want this to affect my sleep schedule which is okay.",5.6158064516129045,6.378761064516129,6.8227419354838705,73.75411290322583,67.38709677419354,10.070967741935485,33.77956989247312,10.125756701596842,3.428427956989248,381,17,72,9,6,129,65,93,0.061,0.894,0.045,-0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,6,5,2,0,1,2,1,8,1,1,1,1,12,13,7,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,14,1,7,11,2,11,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,49,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770988706540574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282104325432975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365984297525035,0.0,0.12974451221424904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300030510701164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21780791329991445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405779715640291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21523531047535688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119945003389864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21490644032642756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564609535604499,0.15781721887563574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240447178879582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129924361443883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438060421691977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24821594612341236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553779538722498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6197965113350654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mk0003,2019/02/06,"What's wrong with me? Ill be very brief because I genuinely want to figure out if there's even wrong. I've noticed the past couple weeks that I don't really get touched, enjoy or feel motivation by I truly love/like whether it's music, books, films, being active, with friends, church, etc. Nothing really reaches me & things that may have caused me to tear up, don't. I'm not usually a crier but I think I'm empathetic. Now nothing really fills me & I cannot really cry or feel much. I don't know what's wrong, I don't feel depressed either. Any thoughts?? ",2.171230893000807,4.370115584070799,3.5579565567176203,87.85065969428803,79.0,6.940949316170556,22.662107803700728,8.00094639256281,1.1860513274336282,443,14,91,8,11,145,76,113,0.102,0.6990000000000001,0.199,0.872,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,0,9,1,0,2,0,21,19,5,0,2,7,0,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,8,2,0,2,6,4,0,0,1,4,11,2,7,15,3,8,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,4,4,47,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32725157522310794,0.0,0.10269606778879664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205796019359506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15513504521402016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670963466470519,0.16588399974326395,0.0,0.0,0.13006987120372346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684227744132558,0.09974465269843193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290747019566861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667459747439125,0.0,0.07889963413532383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299445164928249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629784830764807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101414610072408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898078758936916,0.17193273237924248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416187277269069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869789011212898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032832909271937,0.09676496373763753,0.0,0.11988984612384485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166322803567982,0.12460402687336783,0.08907315749482338,0.0,0.1211359369420284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4953369118503751,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nikesnkoolaid,2019/02/06,"Mental health day For the first time in a long time I’m having a great mental health day. I know people are going through more than me, but my depression and anxiety the last few years (in specific) have made it seem like “I just need to make it through today (this week/month/yr)”. I’m pretty content today and I just want to try to find ways that it can happen more often.  I appreciate this reddit (group, wutevs it’s called) it makes me feel like I’m not alone in the way I’m feeling. ",2.6709,4.11684889,3.6810000000000014,90.93550000000002,75.1,6.6000000000000005,20.5,7.1686216300943375,0.3125,379,8,83,4,8,122,67,100,0.067,0.721,0.212,0.9264,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,5,0,4,2,0,3,0,17,19,3,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,7,3,10,18,3,16,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,2,12,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16945741425301636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251662222353142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707080342189545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110382939011038,0.0,0.1409227052625104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545889993939086,0.11688770471897933,0.0,0.0,0.1495425736755477,0.13917216421324033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298706283638658,0.0,0.0,0.1803878374290704,0.0,0.0,0.14468558559052844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34783350910014776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991938363556018,0.13336933579457472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986957538618546,0.0,0.0,0.1447955088231055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481794722490735,0.21843065152734312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297740233180128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305971789451118,0.0,0.0,0.12131960768419756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343112297447032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645686496071116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895037320730084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19081226636229426,0.0,0.3101787395428209,0.0,0.0,0.11108490565218926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965052875372174,0.25974242268089737,0.1312433369880268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536370166912712
mentalhealth,raxla95,2019/02/06,"What are options for my schizophrenic mother? Hi all,

I live in California and have a schizophrenic mother who lives in Mobile, Alabama. Currently she lives with my grandmother and has been on and off of medication for the last 25 year by court order. The court orders can only force her to stay on the medication for a few months at a time and she refuses to continue treatment. She has been hospitalized several times and I grew up apart from her as she was too ill to take care of me and my younger brother. My grandmother and my mother fight frequently because she encourages her to take her medication and visit the doctor regularly. 

My grandmother is aging and I’m starting to think about what will happen when she passes away. I do not want to bring her into my home not do I have the funds to send her to an expensive private care facility. 

What would be my options at this point? Has anyone had a similar experience with a family member of their own? Looking for general guidance and insight. No negative comments, please. ",6.309714055577931,7.644233366492152,7.1295287958115185,70.11602496979461,66.12041884816753,11.112525171163917,33.54047523157471,11.051253699011982,4.162025050342328,827,36,140,25,13,275,117,191,0.066,0.875,0.059,0.1576,1,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,11,0,17,7,0,0,1,24,28,12,0,2,2,4,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,0,5,13,0,1,2,0,2,5,4,1,0,0,4,1,26,3,31,21,3,31,0,0,1,0,25,12,0,2,11,109,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107191999496302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924521592559675,0.0,0.0,0.09683375286004273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32391721757741243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259015478501876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538620977715248,0.14975005600870692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047091807690215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933994160121734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948430879210526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208035421806123,0.0,0.13339436076161196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4800753143618716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679290441959726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081291648791477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743700794859902,0.15016500929942125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17945578042693391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124351579073732,0.16931343162479087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23887152101104606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178494683541027,0.0,0.0,0.1852539361599025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093694104248874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284279380679554,0.0,0.0,0.10229447422170854
mentalhealth,PeanutsAndJams,2019/02/06,"I want to talk to my dad about possibily getting a professional diagnosis and some medication but I don't know how (trigger warning: suicide and self harm) He used to say therapists were for crazy people when I was younger and it always stuck with me. I don't know his opinions now.

I've gotten to such serious points as low as hurting myself (cutting and punching) and planning on how I was going to kill myself, or just thinking of ""maybe I can just pack up and run away tomorrow"".

I never told him about this, and I don't know if he realizes that there might be something wrong, and it's the same with my mom, although I don't really want her involved with this.

But I know I need help, and I think my mom's job covers things like medication for mental health, and maybe therapy, but I'm not entirely sure. I just don't know what to say, or where to start.

It's going to seem out of character, and they're going to either laugh at me or treat me differently. I don't know how to ask. I considered talking to a counselor about this at school, but I know she doesn't have much power, and if I told her what I was doing and thinking I'm pretty sure she's legally required to tell professionals about it.",7.0891975308641975,5.7009706460905365,7.603796296296299,76.61458333333333,64.76131687242798,10.733744855967078,34.241769547325106,9.725611199111238,2.9889893004115216,949,34,194,16,12,315,133,243,0.154,0.7509999999999999,0.094,-0.9523,3,0,1,0,0,3,27.0,0,0,0,3,15,12,2,0,3,0,16,3,0,5,3,59,43,29,2,5,14,3,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,11,17,0,1,12,0,0,4,9,7,0,0,8,2,32,5,31,33,4,18,0,2,0,0,22,9,0,9,6,133,43,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584960861961564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768968566396396,0.0,0.10822739490199833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035192219562067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060183465456906914,0.0,0.19640010939440533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244452284455652,0.0,0.0,0.07721128241324345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331623771420655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431104501303326,0.0,0.12744372756306002,0.0,0.4431485187583773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627736650837537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314532313835127,0.0,0.0,0.23208918426814898,0.11608721378272345,0.1222013202087796,0.0,0.2698247489618007,0.0,0.0,0.08467993673610362,0.08541397585879718,0.08884376199880105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986015932888355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889439678932697,0.0,0.0,0.11719245484452033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379543512280366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321182091208327,0.0,0.1165812283196507,0.0,0.10486716718046543,0.12017117680396135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868101852800055,0.0,0.0,0.08153403216473093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600218868267266,0.0,0.21713563606705394,0.0,0.0,0.18517516262813932,0.1006835541883364,0.0,0.13173296625582911,0.13374767898093656,0.07652895472169964,0.22143261814958184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201432474203148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994895639243955,0.0,0.0,0.13588735501695565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259452055791447,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MasonXVII,2019/02/06,"I just feel like giving up. I really feel like this is overused topic but I just feel like I really need some support from someone who understands. I am a male teen, almost straight As student. For some time now I just felt like I’m drowning in all of this. You know, like you have that pressure on your chest that you just can’t handle. There are so many things in my life that just are so terrible. First of all is I am the only man in my family and I had to go to work since the early age in order to get money for rent and stuff. And this job exhausts me so much, I just can’t take it anymore, but I have to. I got no other choices. It gives me so much stress. Another thing is that about a year ago I realized that I am a bisexual. And I just kinda hate myself for being one. LGBT community is a terrible thing for people where I live. I just have to keep all the feelings and emotions to myself and i can’t talk to anyone about it and that makes me feel so lonely and useless. Plus a guy that I was in relations with, everything got so complicated and I just feel like I’m about to lose him forever. My family don’t take our conversations seriously and I just feel so alone in this huge world. I hate myself for feeling this way but there’s nothing I can do with my emotions. More often I think about ending it all but I know how that would make my family feel so I’m not gonna do that. But that feeling of Darkness, loneliness, and all that is just slowly destroying me. I wish I had a better life. And I wish I was a better person. And I just don’t know what to do next. I really don’t. I just hope that someone could help me find the way out of this. Before it’s just too late. ",0.8594163545568065,2.86027066573034,2.9835205992509373,91.285418227216,82.5112359550562,6.3151061173533085,19.4394506866417,7.492282038375204,0.458057053682897,1311,34,294,21,36,444,160,356,0.158,0.7040000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.933,2,3,0,0,0,1,32.0,1,4,0,5,33,22,3,2,11,0,30,4,1,3,5,75,68,29,1,6,20,0,11,6,0,2,3,0,1,4,30,17,0,1,18,0,2,1,8,12,0,2,7,11,50,10,36,57,10,27,0,3,0,0,16,13,0,6,16,218,80,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735691053742759,0.0,0.08738527269746718,0.09038227078101843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150703529649824,0.0,0.0,0.08654539275959812,0.061019100019568284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425777069280362,0.0,0.0,0.15436110058799596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696755808900445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19632720869050066,0.07729264022527993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842993274676532,0.0,0.2468026206608913,0.0,0.4412480611536672,0.2493741858496337,0.08378998409227684,0.0,0.07976043684375507,0.07422924683791196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04559339415121636,0.16742887414701474,0.04959583461990817,0.0,0.13959074846463534,0.0,0.0,0.08640802823496088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723161475143924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058493215790448985,0.0,0.0,0.08667579967994703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659901006944305,0.07756689965022179,0.0,0.0,0.14387894650765004,0.0,0.09844095217512576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327849459127707,0.25580542431669,0.0,0.07705834030800893,0.0,0.0,0.09762942626339004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116502770800819,0.08847501851650916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830253967590866,0.06470735837139617,0.0,0.0,0.09280942103959453,0.0,0.0,0.08373501891710415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591343627253467,0.06637046910835907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06049993455208815,0.07619815907499422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677163819616025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218814592702069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147882054398174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996402836236744,0.0,0.09989981127620597,0.0,0.09902953238249486,0.0,0.0,0.13122781377201745,0.0701418912372669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392890738929384,0.05591715576464325,0.0,0.0,0.05088607660726688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908480016494016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853693025794964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20070543570131932,0.0,0.0,0.06353139927003677,0.0,0.0,0.06199195730204926,0.0,0.0,0.0561970726198543
mentalhealth,zickkityy,2019/02/06,"How do you get rid of depersonalization? Please help. I’ve had depersonalization ever since smoking weed and having a panic attack. It’s been a few weeks, and I can say there have been a few days where I don’t really feel it, and then there’s days where I feel it a lot more. 

Does depersonalization ever fully go away?

What forms of meditation help?

Will my new anxiety medicine get rid of it?
",1.9324531024531024,4.5657932987013,3.990822510822512,81.68877344877345,83.54545454545455,6.53910533910534,17.646464646464647,7.793537801064563,0.5244499278499286,312,7,64,6,9,106,50,77,0.118,0.782,0.1,-0.3313,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,7,2,1,1,4,0,9,0,0,1,2,9,14,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,4,10,5,11,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,7,43,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741025749396806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589117933730935,0.2138244255233009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935481292227804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991619368842565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117289152137646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301485178004149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23780845762715355,0.0,0.12934230007722616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050920355401493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19348537626076132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980386066428784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267022993556123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24982095300884996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579734212085485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098542606092405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882613913863516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18255566482092705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cardinalwren,2019/02/06,"Sudden feeling of disassociation, panic, complete loss of focus, etc? I made a post about this on r/trees already so I'm not going to retell the [story](https://www.reddit.com/r/trees/comments/anzfy8/sudden_disassociation_from_smoking/). But long story short, I was smoking and suddenly felt intense overwhelming panic and lost the ability to focus, couldn't really remember (or literally *think about*) who I was, why I was there, or what was happening, and was shaking and hyperventilating. I've experienced disassociation before a few times, and am diagnosed with a few panic disorders, but this felt nothing like anything I've ever experienced. I don't know how to even describe it. I can't think straight, I can't even type effectively any more, and I'm terrified. Something feels off and I don't feel the same.

If anyone knows anything at all about what I'm talking about, please help me. I'm terrified and I've genuinely never experienced anything with such a level of intensely overwhelming, raw panic and dissociation.",8.362009523809526,10.259242148571431,8.640357142857145,59.09005952380952,61.8,11.31904761904762,36.29761904761904,11.20814326018867,4.753733333333335,836,38,122,24,12,275,104,175,0.202,0.737,0.061,-0.9765,0,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,3,11,10,0,7,7,0,11,1,0,3,3,35,28,16,0,2,6,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,11,0,0,11,0,0,2,7,9,0,0,9,8,9,1,15,18,6,15,0,4,0,0,3,6,0,3,7,77,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307400806709028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816768398193289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065556754272824,0.0,0.3200772039937761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032415005227916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359374672063162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159386879478469,0.0,0.0,0.14859221895427635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459605191863314,0.17126760950748654,0.11727749447085385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966675683426304,0.0,0.24897215985963564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368411749405009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465067680550713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690288242831973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250649986553868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334133059566882,0.0,0.0,0.11473778135680135,0.0,0.0,0.14153027779763458,0.0,0.0,0.12267968753438058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999547685465128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440441862788505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6084739058778088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231876534582216,0.0,0.0,0.12417060509455732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305827622316146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687023866711285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981230573940858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104209222302452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615130310323234,0.0,0.0,0.07560101924438647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699060207209548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gherkin1232,2019/02/06,"Just need some advice Please put up with the exposition, It's hard to talk to people about this because people get defensive about it. When I was in elementary school I was identified as gifted with an IQ of 156, because I lived in a small town and went to a small elementary school there was no one else who was gifted in my entire grade level. The teachers I had up until 7th grade when I moved all treated me like I was more important than all the other kids, they prioritized grading the things I turned in, gave me harder work, let me skip on classes, and overall never really did much to discipline me. The school I was going to at the time had maybe 150 students spread across 8 grade levels so it was a really small school. By the time I was in seventh grade without even realizing it I had started to actually believe that I was better than all the other kids, I became condescending and rude, I had basically no friends after fifth grade. I even started thinking I was better than my teachers and pretty much all the adults that I didn't think were smarter than me. After seventh grade I moved to a mid sized city and the school I went to was much larger with about ten times as many students. I was placed in a gifted class with about thirty students who were also gifted, but I still managed to out perform them. This boosted my self confidence to an almost unbearable level, even I realized this so I attempted to tone it down and make some friends. I really tried very hard but it still didn't work, I didn't know what to talk about, or how to talk about it with them. I went through the rest of middle school labelled as the obnoxious know it all that thought he was better than everyone else. When I got into high school I kinda just gave up, I didn't feel like anything we were doing was hard enough, and I didn't have any friends so I never went to school. My grades fell cause I never turned in any work, I was taken out of advanced classes because of my bad grades, and then I just completely gave up on going to school entirely for about a month. The people who were in my middle school started to make fun of me because my grades fell. I ended my freshman year with grades just high enough to get my credits. Now that I'm in my sophomore year I want to do better so I don't ruin my future. Even though I say this I feel no motivation or need to do the work, the kids at school don't like me, the classes are too easy, and I'd just much rather stay at home and read books or run. I'm sorry this was so long and that it kinda fell apart at the end, I'm just really concerned I'm gonna ruin my life. I was very obnoxious at school and at home so they have a right to not like me.

​",5.802050480627472,5.504343638025596,6.111722592439701,82.67251046765351,66.91590493601463,8.959344223624461,28.979713392699185,8.360895534625662,1.8228029604293208,2138,62,442,26,31,687,215,547,0.051,0.813,0.136,0.9935,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,4,12,35,19,2,0,26,0,40,1,0,5,8,68,75,34,0,4,14,0,5,4,3,1,1,1,2,5,26,22,0,2,10,2,1,14,15,5,0,2,41,6,64,14,79,32,15,82,0,2,0,0,24,41,0,8,30,305,90,39,0.0,0.0,0.05359348842350816,0.0,0.0,0.05366667841307113,0.0,0.0,0.05499392424356942,0.0,0.0,0.04391908681754531,0.0,0.05950523160717485,0.06673317716263119,0.07469425679313846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519405105699882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585547024921033,0.13391361649200456,0.0,0.0,0.061875445168495635,0.0,0.19428726168262667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056417432304527323,0.0,0.0,0.05758202793099396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917563537257915,0.0,0.09728471331434578,0.11349300361736887,0.0,0.14509518938390867,0.0,0.0,0.05247791487436579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055537876574962036,0.03923448614847102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729195770539972,0.0,0.057386321208604936,0.0,0.062424010080657025,0.0,0.04392412364921197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475911953549976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605088786280518,0.11017742884696463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036461782204194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05615888729493257,0.03879125156412355,0.10732353169448064,0.0,0.048494905358997226,0.04860200992858159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331835621509566,0.0556797308694138,0.05517399745971048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0438362034798293,0.11674142767432966,0.16148854216252828,0.08144419430028743,0.1270718616335244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037214859707175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142227533814704,0.0,0.05737916562927246,0.06028509497539716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055872853165526364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05520924438084174,0.0,0.0,0.05493434011929982,0.0,0.14073129593104775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04690093424685645,0.0,0.04367417331427365,0.0,0.666977326525227,0.0,0.0,0.05729299318120895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147785944101927,0.11661686786518374,0.05853685641595994,0.08771753235169362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242658862062734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03648606094777671,0.07038036806689035,0.05395810841988551,0.04359993106883716,0.09607196804251487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037286720640065336,0.11947324335745245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062864217819454,0.032392931114835835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036436257595128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052940417109780716,0.0,0.15992813666166572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673317716263119,0.07073268661794113
mentalhealth,thereth51,2019/02/06,"Worried about diagnosis: what should I do? So I go to DBT and my counselor said they dont care about diagnosing me there, just treating my symptoms. I tend to not be honest with psychiatrists cuz I abuse my meds... but now I realize I need to get on a mood stabilizer to get my shit together, which they obviously wouldn't give me unless I'm honest with them...

But it's like I have a family history of BPD, & I go to DBT, so the first thing they're gonna screen for is obviously BPD. I know I technically match most of the diagnostic criteria for BPD. So basically I feel like my options are A.) Lie to a psychiatrist about my symptoms, or B.) Be honest and get a BPD diagnosis, which will follow me around on my record FOREVER and make every doctor not want to work with me.

What should I do?",4.152852272727273,5.0229912625,6.160227272727273,76.80386363636366,70.75,10.06818181818182,28.29545454545455,10.230975488527342,2.7394375000000006,622,22,130,17,11,218,95,160,0.138,0.82,0.042,-0.9196,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,3,2,10,9,1,0,7,0,12,5,1,2,2,28,29,11,0,5,7,0,1,2,0,5,4,1,0,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,1,3,26,7,21,21,1,8,0,0,1,0,5,3,1,3,4,89,32,2,0.0,0.16257421313441464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486695380853354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214809386371525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6912566718802854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398971488986829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392676602425821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044266781208484,0.0,0.0,0.16081186764149338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560733382716078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935160433717585,0.0,0.06937869355040382,0.09802453961048636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671276595255756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150633894551034,0.1316266016055029,0.1559618960126289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754083263430126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407005948684875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159031783652496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524120030840996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174122862246016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305203786171203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084651892107214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852323658597531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115779707351504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093140680242411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989223452359182,0.1393458151682856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sashimigf,2019/02/06,"Help w Body Dysmorphia F/19

So I recently went to the doctor to get some bloodwork done, and he diagnosed me with body dysmorphia-bc when he told me I have 15 BMI (I’m 5’7 & 105lb?)  I immediately said that I couldn’t believe that & I feel like the constant fat awkward broad shoulder shape that I am. I don’t know what to do I’ve literally been crying myself to sleep for the past 3 nights bc my brain is out here telling me I’m fat when i’m actually underweight and it’s just making me feel like reality isn’t real.. This isn’t something that you can prove by taking a photo and showing me either, my brain would see that as fat too. I don’t think there’s any way to change this feeling at all.. people have also been telling me to eat more or I’ll blow away but I just can’t see it, my thighs/shoulders/cheeks/arms/stomach/everything feel huge & all I’m doing now is wearing huge clothing bc I feel uncomfortable in my own body & mind.",2.2344385026737967,3.931036858585859,3.791746880570411,88.6223262032086,76.87878787878788,6.881045751633987,24.273321449792036,7.724431198458867,1.0765296494355314,750,25,164,11,17,249,122,198,0.039,0.889,0.07200000000000001,0.5876,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,10,3,0,1,4,0,18,14,11,1,3,26,37,10,0,2,5,0,5,2,0,1,5,1,0,0,10,5,4,0,8,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,6,8,22,2,14,29,6,17,0,0,2,0,8,8,0,2,9,89,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.11197501584235114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176190217950203,0.0,0.4973066279442625,0.0,0.07803084697203251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780713600649544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927883884408095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823690126174905,0.0,0.25618776189687065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138548101445193,0.0,0.0,0.12399907720732604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604249878092616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646422560546946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174468395621076,0.0,0.11742444342361914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174132508864107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312581980200064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900937591610517,0.16394835780514286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05994976643141196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691146249891646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306110346397713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211767059069797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765934849570208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586020342949535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768084028729487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953752442266963,0.07955005353372299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060545342469826,0.0,0.0,0.11329729785804772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914920804225436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287454950335272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148283268902947,0.0,0.0,0.08833666036496435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627430498862508,0.0,0.20058517771453674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352425696760309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964420347105322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107960446576358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637019016387166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151188193092153,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UnrealDemon95,2019/02/06,"Help reclaim my life from this addiction. Hello everyone. I have just discovered this sub today and have searched here and there for some help on my issue. Most of the stuff I’ve found has been from a couple years ago and wondering if it still applies or is there new methods to get help.

I’m addicted to porn. It’s gotten pretty bad and for a while i had no clue i just blamed a lot on other problems or the world and would just come and hide and well go to my favorite sites. 

It’s one of my issues it’s a big one and one I’m not normally okay with because I’ve not been good with opening about my mental health for fear of judgment.

I’m hoping someone can help me over come this addiction and help me reclaim my life so i can enjoy life again. 

Thank you all in advance ",2.607649307214526,4.087857304347828,3.6785093167701888,90.74784519827999,75.33540372670808,6.692976588628763,24.18585762064023,7.321109707123232,0.8866393693263261,610,19,132,7,13,197,97,161,0.116,0.7120000000000001,0.173,0.8781,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,11,9,0,1,6,1,10,8,0,0,1,32,22,14,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,9,14,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,3,1,3,5,0,13,6,18,16,4,19,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,8,7,89,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199437773179936,0.0,0.0,0.11382398088164658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721346700028098,0.07827497474470378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221220427983995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207855883646067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269723032059104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449220711010333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079031560081515,0.0,0.0,0.06708672293326054,0.0,0.0729759667541844,0.1077006803254729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648934497880988,0.0,0.0,0.4303384551931392,0.0,0.0,0.1275359175687136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680445574356969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720904101648404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916600661187956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940282996352415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401510734462927,0.0,0.0,0.1258104062155828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26103324934525146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306348461049064,0.0,0.12286699470907025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879780497705048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254502580634137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469939030628859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821879500916554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217136701293582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545222167130305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925059645844148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121578555480596,0.0,0.0,0.08268911562066515
mentalhealth,lonely_girl412,2019/02/06,"I don't see anything good in my life that I just want to die. Someone please help? I've been through depression since 7th grade and since then, it terrorized my entire life. I lost some friends. I switched to online school my sophomore year of high school because my depression made me do poor at school. I also struggle with anxiety and OCD. It's my senior year right now and words can't describe how alone I feel.

I do have friends but I haven't seen them in a while since I do online so it almost feels like I don't have friends. Last year in my junior year, I hung out with them all the time and we did many things together. Most of my friends are from a youth church group. But since my senior year started for school, that changed. I only see my friends now on Wednesdays or Sundays and I feel like it's not enough. I asked if they can hangout like old times but they said that they're busy. They're that busy that I can't even call them or Facetime them and almost not talk to them at all. I've been feeling friendsick ever since the school year started.

I'm also just stressed with college and my future where I don't know what to major in. I told my parents too that I need to see my friends but they want me to finish school first then I can socialize freely. I can't wait until May to do that.

I either stay at home or go to a public coffee shop to do online daily and that's pretty much what my life is currently. I bet if some rich kids saw what my life is like, they would laugh at me and make fun of me. I wish I can just restart my whole life because I already screwed it up. I also been having low self esteem for years and idk if that'll ever change.

This point, I feel like nobody cares about me and how I feel. My family's very fed up with my mental issues that I can't even talk to them about my feelings and sometimes think they'll be better off without me. I just want to kill myself because I hate myself and what I have become. Someone please help???",2.297038071952496,3.9934595770171164,2.844690185120502,95.4810904645477,76.70171149144255,5.456681802305274,21.95466294097101,5.860315114193679,0.03090521830247983,1553,42,345,8,35,481,188,409,0.094,0.7090000000000001,0.197,0.9929,2,1,0,0,0,2,33.0,1,0,11,3,20,27,3,3,5,0,32,7,0,4,4,69,65,33,2,9,18,1,7,5,6,4,5,1,1,2,21,19,1,1,9,2,4,1,11,10,0,1,11,13,70,17,39,49,10,50,1,4,5,1,32,18,1,13,35,221,91,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318523218599312,0.06887650142800407,0.07338712784580674,0.15954600046228412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087420649329917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054725865322802936,0.0,0.06217083101597176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161786290945945,0.07344675179220964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05881602925664831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790645591513936,0.0,0.06780369894761976,0.0,0.14070158784170209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455695760539696,0.0,0.06901906307473736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871482734764349,0.0,0.08784850668947393,0.12031058046731465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269260887669219,0.0,0.23537952428139344,0.14252813067781586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056566965862345185,0.0,0.0,0.30827785388284384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03779488548475996,0.05577911551680247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565741974495602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915040585073496,0.07026350936942684,0.06670739833752902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941129938860617,0.0,0.0,0.07357512840266284,0.0,0.03654801758117622,0.05420838791739952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348633016017759,0.16244873506892013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259530037012113,0.0,0.0,0.06292624380067323,0.04439091422515054,0.06742306523764417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701884685336937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888696633112349,0.04931073785552458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978315393063697,0.0,0.0,0.050578124125635976,0.0,0.0,0.07384312140116532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599948052610154,0.06286632837336695,0.0,0.0,0.06765691868783738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679274486524749,0.0632590765998655,0.0,0.0,0.4038242920373272,0.1589815722353209,0.0,0.06937657845322884,0.0,0.0,0.2750576464312296,0.0,0.0,0.06779089193706503,0.11269465175985735,0.0,0.06577264196026444,0.0,0.09414157919602023,0.07088278314771655,0.0,0.0,0.07617835315214964,0.069522819468751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690433046701286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418128516669875,0.04261209666002572,0.0,0.0,0.07755624853900019,0.0,0.0,0.06354595869739614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054871501339602766,0.1176746370909902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424763130956574,0.07647455695256393,0.06410600663412327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0472414456811377,0.0,0.0,0.2997778660983537
mentalhealth,appletreess,2019/02/06,"Good psychiatrist/mental health associates Who is good psychiatrist to go to in Champaign Urbana? Any thoughts who is good psychologist there?  I’ll appreciate recommendations where not to go, too. Thank you",7.1013636363636365,11.081177848484852,6.9365909090909135,60.02488636363637,73.54545454545455,10.572727272727274,32.49242424242424,10.125756701596842,4.788642424242424,171,8,24,6,4,54,25,33,0.0,0.618,0.382,0.9254,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,4,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079536121410647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475849131628377,0.769468359588978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250497337151889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28153837095361245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427700212608316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hogwartsexpresso,2019/02/06,"I don’t know what else to do with these thoughts, I’m sorry. I’ve been constantly teetering between wanting to live and see what happens, see if things actually do get better like everyone says, see what my life becomes, if I become happy, get married, have my own family, career, everything, and wanting to just give up and die. Lately it’s been so hard. the other night I had a split second where I just knew in every ounce of my body that I’m going to end up killing myself. I keep getting those thoughts, no plan, but thoughts of ways I could die. I’ve told my therapist, she wants me to stick through it for the medication, she says it will make all the difference but what if it doesn’t? who knows if I can even get them in time. My dad and step mom don’t care about me at all, I’m a burden to them. I’m 22 and living in their home, no job, no car, nothing. I feel like I gave up on life when my mom died last year and now I’m just existing, a burden on everyone. I have only one friend, all he really wants is sex. My ex of 3 years and I broke up last month, he made me feel like I had a chance in life..now, I feel there’s no point, and I’m almost certain he has already moved on, maybe even while we were together, who knows. My little sister is halfway across the country, she never talks to me, never replies. My stepmom told basically admitted to me tonight that she doesn’t care about me, only my brother. I’m unwanted. I don’t even want myself. so what’s the point anymore? The only thing stopping me from killing myself at this point is the fear of fucking up. I fuck everything up. And if I try and don’t succeed, I get kicked out of the only place I have to live. I don’t know what to do anymore, I wish there was just an off switch to take me out of this pain, it’s all piling up and it hurts so much. I want my mom but I’ll never have her back, she would be the one person who could help me and she’s gone forever. I want to give up so badly, there’s no point anymore",2.522175312236609,3.445005391923992,3.972959926442422,90.76703470998392,74.65320665083135,7.142471841238217,24.031951574591986,7.4822170145007005,0.8289380277373377,1534,44,354,18,31,509,194,421,0.17,0.726,0.104,-0.988,1,0,0,0,0,4,56.0,1,0,3,3,20,21,4,1,14,0,30,8,1,2,8,65,81,26,5,17,12,7,4,3,1,2,4,2,1,1,24,16,0,2,12,0,0,5,15,11,0,3,15,9,56,10,46,61,6,53,0,2,3,3,36,28,2,6,22,226,80,3,0.0,0.0,0.06759952635355992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936594986711453,0.0,0.0764434276607301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20609777334594356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326592909712613,0.0578392666861126,0.0,0.1530110694436772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126549723023235,0.0,0.07694562919765335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125493959983207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748584746734495,0.0,0.11061618741440384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156803479126696,0.07237454648314871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057867907410487515,0.0,0.06135447360249625,0.0,0.0,0.1372606033921181,0.0,0.058364688221344316,0.13238482113709554,0.1245145003284054,0.0,0.06530352191459554,0.0779503129125036,0.10507808676724736,0.09897593003849242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053519412541965794,0.12808178450692445,0.18095893022580986,0.13290412139122246,0.039368901322453236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125704337943603,0.07374138333389252,0.06205414870000784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04643159366377074,0.0,0.0694855123634843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415716023269812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874181890826601,0.06157217922878596,0.15327851547740476,0.0,0.15228042410815645,0.11293192967233155,0.07814188755914599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678668861829386,0.10152847093765366,0.06942879063780795,0.1835054628422528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655468868606647,0.04623963002740493,0.0,0.06959308313419922,0.0,0.0,0.06978430069338118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24339175660565854,0.05529228791673348,0.07362522433939446,0.05092292591335306,0.0,0.16028062199294066,0.0,0.0,0.06500712454484281,0.0,0.06646839845009815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388106516371963,0.21073805645791607,0.07371034324386881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060485680472284725,0.07237454648314871,0.0,0.2619379047182468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04437744783883378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101758260853634,0.0,0.0,0.16560256101171705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754438648596551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791453402660352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052083959174648434,0.055678248301557084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043018701176402,0.09204254140303172,0.0,0.0,0.16498280533695056,0.040393088330731165,0.0,0.0,0.13238482113709554,0.0,0.04703117353787158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860091413127948,0.05498492745045475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965943665996375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04920887547339415,0.0,0.0,0.08921785563393668
mentalhealth,Lonestar189,2019/02/06,Why does PTSD usually manifest long after the trauma? I apologize if this is a stupid question but I’m curious. How come it usually doesn’t manifest a couple of weeks or months after the trauma? Is the brain still trying to process what happened? ,3.545869565217388,6.419934021739131,4.928434782608697,76.11439130434783,78.34782608695653,8.897391304347826,28.76521739130435,9.3871,3.449979130434782,199,9,32,6,5,66,36,46,0.172,0.742,0.086,-0.6358,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,5,0,3,1,1,1,0,6,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,8,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27726667235852104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139515495897434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748202605298056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21735309181433835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21963563155457447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980249723446266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982491466567568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903350205227988,0.0,0.2782348662235898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19835118640647664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862912300156654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.547096057164538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992300275735424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22411821271359786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,3432r4fwe,2019/02/06,"I feel less human than everyone else. I feel less human. I feel like my brain can't process as much information as everyone else, although I do exceptional in school and I have a pretty big friend group. Anyways, when I talk to people they make they make these amazing connections between words and ideas and can express them so fluently, most of the time it's something anyone else would consider completely normal.  I feel like I'm incapable of making those connections. Also, more significant is the belief that everyone processes things on a much deeper level than me. I feel like people are able to take in the whole picture, literally, like when they look around they understand what's going on around them so effortlessly. Unless it's very basic information I have to consciously think ""what's happening over here"" or ""that loud sound meant something bad might have happened, should i look?"", like it seems like most people just have instincts that guide them to do things, I don't. I feel like my brain is less developed in some areas. I was thinking about high functioning autism but I can carry an age appropriate conversation well, I've dated a few girls, I talk how kids my age would talk. I'm also good at expressing my emotions. Anyways, a weird but I think effective analogy would be that I'm alien sent to earth to study humans, my goal is to fit in and not draw any suspicion, which I can do but I don't understand why what I'm doing is seen as a way to fit in, for example I know people are guided by emotions but I don't understand why so many people make them such a big part of their lives. Also, I used to get the occasional hallucination, basic stuff like hearing sounds come from the wrong direction, things further away literally looking smaller, like a far away actual car looking like a close up toy car until I think about it for a second. Also, I do have an okay memory but a lot of the time I get completely false memories of basic stuff like moving a set of keys, brushing my teeth, etc, but I think to some degree that's normal. I have been diagnosed with depression, which I'm on meds for, but should I talk about all this as well? There's a lot more stuff specifically with hallucinations and false memories, I've written about 10-15 pages of stuff about this.  I'm 16 and male btw, I'm exhausted so there might be some grammar mistakes or something",6.135311715003425,6.966714278145697,6.495887950064706,76.31245033112586,66.26269315673291,10.13348557509325,30.410976630889856,10.165852483727232,3.000841120499353,1900,67,351,44,29,614,217,453,0.049,0.8240000000000001,0.127,0.9785,0,0,3,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,9,2,27,23,0,0,20,1,35,5,3,7,1,73,79,33,0,8,13,0,6,11,1,7,2,4,0,6,25,12,0,0,23,1,0,6,5,6,2,1,6,16,43,17,54,64,20,41,1,1,5,0,28,25,0,12,19,234,68,2,0.06448556786058172,0.0,0.06292861207693169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062763412804529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04385239744954119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508980841225325,0.06607308482501137,0.0,0.11481165426046536,0.0,0.0,0.12117262748020738,0.0,0.05384275559961674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397444078028013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555486067694912,0.1352237820250989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554132510669082,0.0654514939679508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616082520205379,0.1450751686460184,0.0,0.0,0.07191845415458291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18485617067725704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956350441089756,0.18427401025770115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04982138976571805,0.0,0.06738209532698508,0.0,0.036648634285663104,0.05408743482441148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140487493845082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267992164719309,0.0,0.0,0.0681325429480592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279635690429953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035439581652882995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465483028131453,0.0,0.056941937851264265,0.0,0.21660654359045334,0.0,0.0,0.1096466475386748,0.0,0.0,0.1721784691423165,0.06537824440053387,0.0,0.0,0.07162892866245005,0.0,0.0,0.1368179938605783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853795331787607,0.09480862436412534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636432984181686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983158592029644,0.0,0.22353086632158556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560500549433389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526283739506884,0.0,0.058705239071722974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893242185662695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29528218865370626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0484851217032173,0.207324227105757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852403770328966,0.20659874035976689,0.0,0.0,0.07520410639740993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013952510456856,0.0,0.05569482605811323,0.0,0.053207346959981056,0.0,0.05118564221161415,0.0,0.0,0.11596053982405875,0.0,0.1163763898114402,0.07199583360394739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374260916804863,0.07050484534150998,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,memelord-15,2019/02/06,"help? I just stared my second semester of college. For the first semester I really struggled with self harm, feeling hopeless, and unmotivated to do anything so I started to see a therapist on campus. For the past month or so I've been doing a lot better. I haven't self harmed for weeks and I noticed I've been able to get started on homework earlier and put more effort into what I do. It's been easier getting out of bed in the morning and I'm generally more content, but I feel conflicted at the same time. I don't know why I suddenly feel a lot better and I'm panicking a little because I feel like this is invalidating what I went through during my first semester. Seeing the difference in my behavior makes me almost confident that there were a lot of underlying issues before. I even had plans to start seeing a psychiatrist this semester. My two biggest fears are that either the way I feel now completely invalidates my previous mental state and issues or that this improvement is only temporary and I'm going to relapse any day now and go back to feeling worse. 

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I guess my question is, has anyone had a similar experience where things started to get better without an obvious trigger? What happened next?",5.587705882352939,7.295669386956522,6.924731457800513,69.51308184143225,68.17391304347827,10.107416879795398,34.39897698209719,10.328600350310266,4.090639386189259,989,48,160,27,17,336,138,230,0.084,0.7859999999999999,0.13,0.8653,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,7,9,9,0,2,14,0,16,0,0,2,1,36,42,13,0,0,6,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,11,11,0,1,8,0,0,4,3,5,0,4,7,10,21,4,24,35,7,33,0,1,4,0,4,11,0,8,17,117,32,3,0.10610281679598503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624664450104716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496235766916114,0.12892653593915052,0.07215355384189086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418955651712257,0.0,0.0873135776772032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158651678009178,0.0,0.06467929230809198,0.0,0.09028568225166457,0.0,0.0,0.28151795730629803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124678472002412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842753916638235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108548607184161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007990981425039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378891436077006,0.0,0.1193951672344434,0.321892633229916,0.07579987351939692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805020035280316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663030276309069,0.0,0.12060135185106174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688421483811405,0.0,0.09382637048275597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111848154695981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214875487155573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058311333282694534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183647682622733,0.10634289663969483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706144617019352,0.0,0.0,0.07082445411319499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692668368150972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469025608663662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284154937274242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079876016696366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069597334938505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128714441573697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666263667460736,0.1188594375818656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797218135740737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536506234252015,0.0,0.22137675616544547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004004793455968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092170150653834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319354817402872,0.07048999685115692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061869405729989085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364703466740556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421947729305057,0.08510927961049014,0.0,0.0,0.09835837416851208,0.09574128892093772,0.0,0.0,0.1022793291034826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812783493234236,0.0,0.0,0.12892653593915052,0.0
mentalhealth,lunarfuckk,2019/02/06,I feel i’ll never be happy with myself I can’t help but feel that no matter what i do i will never be enough for anyone. & I will never do any good for anyone else.,-0.6907894736842088,1.0452922894736858,2.399210526315791,94.78197368421051,86.63157894736842,3.8,9.5,3.1291,-1.8681789473684207,129,0,30,0,4,46,25,38,0.214,0.7040000000000001,0.081,-0.7103,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,8,9,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,6,2,3,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27911134530867865,0.0,0.1751779964322585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602422105318924,0.2639433939971565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21519317409006355,0.0,0.0,0.2661714278492707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26050232942133345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21606409263263446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742218105252678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266499629388848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5960349584982508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Batstronaut,2019/02/06,"I just realized something I'd be screwed if people kept saying that ""my asthma was just in my lungs"" when having an asthma attack.",10.663599999999997,7.475884960000003,10.208000000000002,66.40400000000002,59.4,11.6,37.0,8.841846274778883,3.4117999999999995,104,3,17,1,1,34,21,25,0.231,0.769,0.0,-0.743,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,5,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6568260895473472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40026613105924014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4591368671003576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4444770519229042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shay_zer0,2019/02/06,"I just got diagnosed with ADHD after being misdiagnosed for 10 years. I don't even know how to begin dealing with it. I was dignosed with general depression and anxiety at 15. I was hospitalized for attempting suicide at 17. My diagnosis was changed at 20 to OCD and then to Borderline Personality Disorder at 24. 

Everything has been overwhelming for me: sights, sounds, crowds, changes in the air pressure, etc. I finally got a brain scan and real tests done. I was finally diagnosed with ADHD (with sensory processing disorder and executive functioning disorder). 

I don't know how to begin deal with this. All my tips and tricks were for depression. Does anyone have any good coping mechanisms for me to try while I wait to be approved for meds and begin other treatments? ",6.181360318513602,8.51895689051095,7.1826011944260095,65.74984074319843,67.68613138686132,11.989117451891177,35.812209688122095,11.567385478589935,5.335283211678833,622,32,96,24,11,208,89,137,0.157,0.8029999999999999,0.039,-0.9432,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,1,2,2,0,13,3,1,2,1,21,21,10,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,12,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,9,3,12,1,24,10,2,15,0,3,2,0,4,6,0,0,9,68,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32371252827654395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158536408933177,0.0,0.10302797039489488,0.0,0.0,0.09416968650131656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034470570956035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849420172986666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27769331653373525,0.2319951828290949,0.2733897918417317,0.0,0.0,0.4630564803048858,0.0,0.1178572467650762,0.13782191045284733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020108800364584,0.08895326306102648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103951347551335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950653840913353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296115376021602,0.21542790728121672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803053778702124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959641644285734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759525705506176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329255631738126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731539962841864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143722776370904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672793779662898
mentalhealth,abracadabra224,2019/02/06,"Want help with something At random times during the day sometimes once or twice a day other times once a week i just randomly feel wierd, i feel like something is wrong or missing or that ive forgotten something and i fucking hate this feeling can someone with similar expiriences help me out here ",4.879636363636365,7.487694054545457,4.576363636363637,81.84454545454548,72.0909090909091,7.309090909090909,32.81818181818181,8.238735603445708,2.823109090909091,243,12,40,4,5,74,41,55,0.18,0.642,0.179,-0.259,0,0,3,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,14,10,4,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,5,1,4,10,0,7,0,1,0,1,2,2,1,5,6,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663351475676645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132193668538083,0.14751495337506676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908946797709939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038639916136617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768088916882084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008795279874959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4398056188088609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495647582953516,0.4768932794264825,0.20422175256172492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408094387985211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179187730417045,0.0,0.1656320892186478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22576203684338025,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,foshforsure,2019/02/06,"24 hours without smoking Been smoking concentrate daily for a long time now to cope with depression. I’ve noticed my physical and mental health deteriorate over the years related to it. I have a problem, and I’m trying to quit.  Didn’t know who to tell. ",4.489374999999999,6.600459187500004,5.806666666666668,74.80500000000002,71.70833333333334,8.966666666666667,32.83333333333333,9.516144504307137,3.4647333333333323,203,10,35,5,4,68,40,48,0.138,0.862,0.0,-0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,8,3,0,6,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25742829332524064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176996440785808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294340468182806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164258792953486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645028751616506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30120470596847904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402813384339441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28599155849225216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178998528382381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612377310727789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428162475189915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292257108582448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28811344548035456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247145340126312
mentalhealth,FancyDisaster9,2019/02/06,Looking for tips on sleeping For the last like two years I've had a hard time falling asleep without smoking weed. It doesn't really make sense but I get nervous about falling asleep if I'm alone because bad things could happen while I'm asleep (like a fire starting) or someone could need me. I smoke every night before bed to just make my life easy but I've gotten to the point though where smoking isn't even fun for me and it's probably having a negative effect on my lungs/etc. I know this might be a weirdly specific issue but was wondering if anyone has tips on falling asleep with either natural medication or anything else. Thanks in advance!,5.232380952380954,6.6318635079365125,5.3223809523809535,81.83928571428572,68.68253968253968,7.822222222222222,30.66666666666667,8.167268648758528,2.236990476190477,526,21,95,7,9,165,91,126,0.222,0.687,0.091,-0.9459,0,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,1,6,0,10,7,5,3,0,21,23,10,0,5,10,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,3,0,1,3,3,7,4,12,16,1,16,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,6,8,55,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835189434333176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389775857672825,0.0,0.14581508604952773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794910356226396,0.1080154636246156,0.0,0.15077854872970184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829490535599384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802236468294236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19761750124523825,0.11703458215498225,0.0,0.14929309786896394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257624808346007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566915553069817,0.0,0.15873049916606116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184943893229622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738086912110082,0.1444362862452212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515695213199088,0.17313550835963867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879784472879087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23655596633792994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17850372803540698,0.0,0.18797421600580166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313866750421764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628402040026544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675050550102633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19104447527250973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351464156292647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732138605355033,0.0,0.15013540897669556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254184140381815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313589360720188,0.0,0.0,0.11771943413522512,0.0,0.17409163459129465,0.0,0.10332290762043683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309222323565454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080813283643692,0.1921587044329328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141067523765624
mentalhealth,toyota2000111,2019/02/06,"Transcranial magnetic stimulation, worth it? has anyone had this treatment done, and for what mental ailments? did you get any positive results? 

i'm really interested in this form of treatment for depression & anxiety but haven't found many first hand accounts. 



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mentalhealth,LawyerThong,2019/02/06,"How do you get over daily mood swings? Not sure if this is SAD or something else. I have no idea what is wrong with me, and I should probably see a therapist, but I thought I would ask here if maybe there are similar experiences to what I have.

My days feel very similar. I wake up in the morning (8-10am usually) and feel like I won the lottery. Totally relaxed, very happy, and excited to go out into the world. Euphoria lasts about a half hour before I settle into a decent mood. Then 3-4pm hits, and my mood starts to drop. And drop. And drop. Come the evening, I'm a depressed mess, not knowing what is wrong with me or why all of a sudden I am questioning my purpose and value in life. It's like a mid-life crisis, but every day. Then, as bad as things get, come 10pm or so, I'm back to normal, slightly tired, but feeling pretty happy and relaxed, ready to go to sleep and start the new day. I've considered that it might just be SAD, since I am in the northeast US right now, but sometimes when I take Vitamin D supplements I go from depressed to anxious. The only reason I am maintaining my sanity is because *most* of my day is happy, but those six hours or so between 4pm and 10pm can be a nightmare and seem like an eternity. Anyone else experience similar daily mood swings, and have suggestions on how to combat them?",3.4245895522388063,4.6549440708955245,4.826298507462692,84.32728358208958,72.84328358208955,8.195820895522388,27.20597014925373,8.697196308434329,1.9412262686567168,1033,37,212,19,20,345,157,268,0.177,0.62,0.203,0.9381,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,1,1,1,1,12,23,0,0,15,0,19,5,2,3,3,52,41,32,0,5,14,0,3,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,9,19,0,0,9,2,0,5,3,8,0,2,2,4,23,11,26,33,3,37,0,4,1,0,6,11,0,10,21,136,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222109734246467,0.0,0.07564095974192205,0.11084171180277433,0.0,0.0,0.10113234430144616,0.0,0.0,0.08318263002181805,0.09032457338181962,0.06594464201283169,0.0,0.09205198112882584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637248976330126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27906486995260804,0.0,0.18634805887826836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807386002217735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714509141964451,0.0,0.09114509685548287,0.0,0.0,0.21163876592277245,0.0,0.0,0.16409498084643415,0.07728278009048625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303765838512085,0.0,0.18444109444330206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454742446700995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130681681748485,0.0,0.0,0.12212041913356934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945210377846271,0.08817995933624265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640971141358302,0.15855173049339352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867989697267952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476034973311358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447952087749246,0.0,0.0,0.1059920137494123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227466449468927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005647959499723,0.11663477716633062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118473751763692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122556990194317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238389343807976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620430105321257,0.09848169201928532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948641717361726,0.0,0.10825667855445564,0.0,0.0,0.08328113545397599,0.10699135532919557,0.0,0.15313867363117414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195700624184784,0.0,0.08133680909228724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560363823910414,0.07186902394808073,0.0,0.0,0.0858816876561696,0.0,0.12433533330686107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012547994235832,0.0,0.119143393105773,0.17851727168930245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761431825296013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684694046787799,0.2365525317529772,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DiscombobulatedAir9,2019/02/06,"I don't remember the last time I was happy. I'm self-destructive, irresponsible, an alcoholic, etc. As the title says, I was just thinking I honestly don't remember the last time I was happy. Sure, I have occasional moments of joy, primarily with my son, but they are fleeting and overall I am just miserable. I'm an alcoholic, finish a handle every 4 days or so. I'm irresponsible, I can't wake up in the mornings primarily due to the alcohol and the fact there's not a chance I went to bed before 3 a.m. . Of course there's more but I barely have the energy to type this so I'll just get to the point. Who should I go see? A behavioral analyst? A counselor? Idk where to go. ",1.289075425790756,3.620744379562048,4.336963503649635,80.23619951338202,83.30656934306569,8.324866180048662,24.461800486618003,9.029198982220553,2.34610793187348,528,21,107,16,15,190,84,137,0.114,0.784,0.103,-0.518,0,0,3,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,0,8,6,0,1,14,0,11,4,1,0,2,16,20,8,0,1,7,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,2,3,3,0,3,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,4,2,13,5,11,15,2,15,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,1,8,67,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5496068855784892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587092788064288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055560950368952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911853411175488,0.0,0.0,0.1444338262690245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956302684575926,0.0,0.19485073003200254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649723993690394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27947019349542473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205301088849094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883845555532676,0.0,0.0,0.13632486190545698,0.0,0.0,0.13660435362424442,0.0,0.178834738951452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615670072718678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984288000751173,0.0,0.0,0.1999197967203948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589136499494945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,killer_driver11,2019/02/06,"Need advice on how to stop fantasizing Basically the title, but here's a little explanation. Everytime I get interested in a girl, I just fantasize about living my version of a really good life with her, and it causes me to hold higher expectations really early. I absolutely hate it because it leads to terrible mental health once it doesn't work out and I just don't know how to stop it. And it's even worse seeing as I'm only 15 and hold myself to expectations that I just can't reach yet. Any advice will suffice. ",5.137256011315419,6.308376247524755,7.211400282885433,69.05930693069308,68.70297029702971,10.523903818953325,27.299858557284303,10.608840637214634,3.1100314002828853,415,13,74,12,7,147,71,101,0.185,0.742,0.07400000000000001,-0.8969,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,9,4,1,0,4,0,4,2,0,4,0,22,10,8,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,7,6,0,4,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,9,2,12,9,1,9,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,4,49,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4192508038845106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458802190301575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307687400858421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22037001866145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168772082548636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207727965525836,0.0,0.0,0.17992828893889967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21179301753708196,0.0,0.22802357632480094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178939860656082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152105443127234,0.0,0.2150043099483946,0.1894241329747629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161846119154126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906305803623785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22845564437346685,0.0,0.16315130219165302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748526212888843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094380217449268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586948385528107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617232573784656,0.0,0.21861310224235864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gggggrr,2019/02/06,"I just want to be me I just can’t believe I did this to me. I let myself so down. I just want to be myself. I was a normal person. 

I just AARRGH.

 I’m tired of everything and it’s seen like it was yesterday, like time hasn’t passed but has passed and it pains me that I just can’t. ",-2.67323076923077,-0.994414553846152,0.560384615384617,102.6221153846154,102.23076923076924,3.830769230769232,11.115384615384617,5.6839178017228535,-1.4617384615384612,214,3,57,2,10,75,36,65,0.1,0.797,0.103,-0.431,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,10,2,0,0,0,11,14,4,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,4,1,13,2,5,7,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,4,43,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565533366804617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844228450462671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236120337355631,0.0,0.3092225294362979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31007342357268497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367464107306922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276329411901628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453621181357008,0.36373572975655494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37332443079490735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,goldenbutt2,2019/02/06,"Roommate actively tries to kill me, has been acting weird (HELP) Hello r/mentalhealth I’m posting today to see if I can find some help for my friend and myself. My friend who we will call Will has been acting very strange and I wanted To know if he has mental health problems or not. 

So I’ve lived with Will for a semester now in the same house off campus and was good friends with him all of last year. Recently he has been acting stranger and our friends are starting to notice as well. He also has been having these outbursts/episodes and they are becoming more frequent. Over the last year he:

-gave my friend a concussion by kicking his head
-routinely talks about murdering children, Black people
-goes on random racist monologues
-blasts Johnny Rebel through our speakers at full blast while at home (J. Rebel is a country singer that talks about hating blacks)
-will play with knives (put knives on string, has poked me with knifes, has put knife to my throat as well as other friends)
-will put a lighter or torch to my face as if he wants to burn me
-Talks about murder A LOT
-Drinks a lot
-Smokes weed daily
-punch/hit me or my friends randomly
-goes into victim complex when any of our friends hit him back
-will start speaking gibberish at random times

It used to be a running joke but recently he had an episode where he said he would kill my friend and I and dump our bodies at my grandmothers house and said he had a gun. Now I’m not sure whether he’s a POS who doesn’t know when to stop a joke or has some sort of mental issue. I’m pretty anxious to be at my house now to say the least and don’t know whether to confront him or call his family members or our landlord. Any help would be greatly appreciated.",4.080793650793652,5.901036523809527,3.6972619047619055,90.71996031746036,72.15476190476191,6.644444444444447,26.73015873015873,7.2427474758485975,1.1690146825396828,1376,48,277,14,27,411,187,336,0.122,0.752,0.126,0.1154,0,0,2,1,1,1,36.0,6,0,1,0,14,29,10,0,14,0,33,6,4,1,2,52,50,30,4,8,14,0,0,0,9,8,1,5,2,1,6,15,1,1,5,4,0,7,4,12,2,0,10,8,29,17,41,28,9,40,0,0,3,0,48,13,0,17,19,167,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605283470923352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233765898145263,0.0,0.0,0.0933111613629126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351203656309279,0.0,0.0,0.09122195746688926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917467074696198,0.0,0.0,0.16868165526892856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091366846510646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786515211207116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549221151785405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5743285153258644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692784905942452,0.0,0.09106354427194377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154749128055187,0.08476840725388342,0.08779680661026176,0.0,0.0,0.16608919384916054,0.0,0.08285158029981599,0.0,0.0,0.2859177338909042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620986559708628,0.0,0.0,0.1827628062506236,0.0,0.1361795432991282,0.1346552471357667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293471244575388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044212421717958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647680797196215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940372940933371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05726239770939976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791051463566368,0.0840308986889372,0.0,0.07903422626089268,0.0,0.24909855994905944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16310925363733633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571374268888961,0.06568449300812149,0.0,0.0,0.06581915862664417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692524071835173,0.0,0.0,0.06905483608340138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784674644931587,0.0,0.0,0.19916515126110385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0481630067557772,0.0,0.07829234992542076,0.0,0.0,0.05607797824939513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133733547802992,0.0,0.06815122029503452,0.09743576561892762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485293431567738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173491555022369,0.0,0.0,0.1063795902024178
mentalhealth,ispymo,2019/02/06,"Hiding stuff from doctors/ a mild bipolar? First off I want to say I hate self diagnosis And When people go around using anxiety as a cool thing etc.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety, a very bad phobia which they said has caused me minor PTSD (which I hate saying because I feel like a fraud).

In the many appointments with drs and therapists I have never mentioned my constant numbness, self harm, suicidal thoughts or how close I was to not being here today. I never mention the times I used to punch myself in the face to a bruise and blame it on the door, the time I spend now scratching skin off mt arms to relieve the pain. I feel like now its too Late rhey wont believe me? What good can they do? I know I am depressed I dont need to admit it to anyone I dont want to.

Pretty much since the start of this year I have felt more and more like I'm going crazy. My moods are more up and down than ever, if I dont cry a day its a miracle. I cried over stairs. I will go from beinf biting back tears to dancing across the room in less than 5 minutez without reason. I know this isnt just bipolar and I know I dont hve bipolar (though I do have some of the other features). 

Is this a thing? Is there a condition like this? Fo you have any advice?",1.8765737787476908,3.638221992277991,3.1986503273459803,92.18668457277157,78.11196911196913,5.894309216048348,21.685579989927817,6.7026698264267655,0.3556938391807956,972,27,212,9,23,316,157,259,0.19,0.71,0.1,-0.9756,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,2,1,12,15,2,0,18,1,23,11,3,5,3,35,44,12,1,4,5,0,5,4,0,2,8,3,2,2,15,10,0,0,9,1,1,4,10,7,0,1,5,9,31,7,30,36,7,34,0,1,0,0,11,14,0,3,20,147,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935255884260126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914034707090401,0.0,0.15555737976137204,0.0,0.0,0.07109132417608273,0.0,0.0,0.09050950558047836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817937975505061,0.08489175109969523,0.06197821840184412,0.0,0.0,0.1145493626361236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444500066951806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987115438666407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22336351454754005,0.06556993460833208,0.0,0.08756981870998468,0.1031947914469302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040654505853992,0.0,0.0,0.4766346218368141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339099274497667,0.0,0.0919680125995195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281668837293108,0.14526878536144985,0.09762092393861256,0.0,0.0,0.08648202691629601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334737265626213,0.08527752719193314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075981290761147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762857572478795,0.0,0.11469027961801845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19868692852201209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307930174035652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474051106776118,0.07538839132474365,0.15683120306682613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818602085828373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048646175533542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034368270215125,0.0,0.0,0.11884895628709975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453559914558097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671321559870542,0.16170707792683112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21213183467372607,0.0,0.0,0.08410400812405333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196386143270593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163899478407366,0.11121250606442942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804885863713767,0.13509252386918044,0.0,0.09989208015744144,0.0807160950731572,0.11857135116630925,0.0,0.0963730292391795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562367522288638,0.0,0.08388992733562821,0.11993738721445445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800803890948966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547334041445585
mentalhealth,ToucanofSomalia,2019/02/06,"Has anyone had or dealt with someone with IC disorders? How did other psychiatrists react and treat such an unresearched symptom? IC is imaginative companion which is different than an imaginary friend as a child. IC is an adult issue where your mind fragments off into another personality that exists in their mind or an object. Usually it's used to protect or nurture as a child but stays until adulthood. Similar to Identity disorders or multiple personalities, the character seems real and yet the user knows that they aren't real but just a part of themselves. It still causes issues in a persons life and the research is out there with lots of information so if you're interested in IC info check it out, it's very common and interesting but we still are slowly understanding it's effects",9.004859154929576,9.447117901408447,9.44799295774648,58.9398767605634,60.12676056338028,12.73380281690141,38.87676056338028,12.161744961471696,5.347588732394367,650,30,96,20,8,218,99,142,0.011,0.88,0.11,0.9209,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,1,2,1,9,5,0,0,11,0,9,2,0,5,0,36,13,17,0,1,9,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,6,9,11,0,1,7,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,5,18,11,2,15,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,7,6,74,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028156882975758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687961912465724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702396910463295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970071594870294,0.3503696506943248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809522705742945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190813634545616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400499186791821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079658544943419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299516713409281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308679515970407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655268356386233,0.0,0.0,0.40040070489356816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34796441705511494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915325466103814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951336257319404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292286192195995,0.2441400561368987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887464777777735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912722100801924,0.0,0.13201745595990455,0.16834794957403007,0.12612120516730493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dzkane01,2019/02/06,"I opened up to my two best friends about my anxiety and depression. I recently opened up to my two best friends (one since childhood and the other is a friend of 4 years) 
about my anxiety. I couldn’t tell them in person but I decided to message them about it since they always said to me I could tell them anything. 

The friend that I first opened up to it about (childhood friend) simply just replied with “ok” and then didn’t continue the conversation after me telling them about the recent issues I’m experiencing. 

My other friend (friend of four years) simply ignored it and then vented to me how they’ve had a headache all day, I told them to get some rest and take it easy but they didn’t reciprocate. After I told them to take it easy they didn’t message me back. 
However, this same friend has spoke to another one of my friends who suffers with anxiety and always listens to them/is there for them? 

Am I just overthinking this, or do my friends just not really care all that much? 
",6.505241477272726,6.48285877604167,6.213106060606062,81.60613636363638,65.40625,9.898484848484847,32.03787878787879,9.573946990214177,2.6548583333333333,783,28,158,14,11,244,92,192,0.084,0.7140000000000001,0.203,0.9808,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,10,3,11,17,0,0,6,1,10,0,0,1,2,27,20,12,0,2,7,0,0,0,10,0,0,3,0,1,12,11,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,6,8,4,30,14,27,10,8,21,0,2,0,0,33,7,0,2,14,117,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956066601886934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053916023025188,0.22004517031305626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890155729552048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372625655158645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20124153095322084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775665319877004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655285048348769,0.0,0.0,0.061835049550803475,0.0,0.08258181301279965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815559821977244,0.0,0.0,0.7407710719481378,0.0,0.050093651763031016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007442702572752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048326695662306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994234049641382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371923426071516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614235621142489,0.0,0.18934103408348413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120439900520456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586268322772178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418054472796804,0.0,0.2514115893867638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323602821031024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873228119125916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348791478800855
mentalhealth,s_craig,2019/02/06,"My recently deceased best friend’s (18M) Mom (34F) is trying to find a therapist for her youngest son (5M) and we really need help! I’m located in Northern Illinois, also I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub to post this in. I wasn’t sure where it belonged. 

To start, my best friend(18M), let’s call him Kyle, committed suicide in May of 2018. Kyle’s younger brother(5M), we’ll call him Dave, was only four at the time of his death. Dave has been dealing with anger management, emotional expression, and general confusion/sadness since Kyle died back in May. Since then he has developed some severe behavioral problems stemming from these emotional issues. His mom has been searching for a therapist specializing in children (and preferably grief) for the past couple of months with little to no luck. He has Kids Care and Atena insurance. We are looking for either some specific recommendations for therapists in Illinois who take this insurance, or just good resources to try and find one ourselves. We’d also appreciate any advice you guys could give us on better ways to handle Dave’s grief, as well as how to support him throughout this.

Tldr: I need help finding a therapist for a grieving 5yo in Illinois ",5.679630704299657,7.598798076233188,5.8236402004748085,76.67395146399369,68.23766816143497,9.193247164336588,33.74544974940649,9.627879704456738,3.497822157742022,973,46,164,22,17,308,145,223,0.123,0.71,0.166,0.83,0,0,0,0,0,1,35.0,5,1,0,3,7,16,1,0,7,0,17,0,0,1,2,30,27,13,6,6,4,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,7,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,5,1,2,4,1,16,11,30,17,5,21,0,3,1,0,29,12,0,7,7,98,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147015036236892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607982736896318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706139982212794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984568803657427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21794499344002996,0.09183704972705836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206220982563256,0.0,0.10587065721080087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290689509968811,0.11489574410174665,0.0,0.0,0.107053324266134,0.0,0.0,0.10776836192139158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336095241431078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847205614666937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045132001488274,0.0,0.0,0.0996117142350858,0.0,0.08709512475068834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281681531944548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920202296512427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838081104991648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618228864732973,0.0,0.0,0.1040738357893796,0.0,0.0,0.08719850551736356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432296791841465,0.08288320220187695,0.0,0.0,0.15399042545885094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036391149711581,0.07897414631917396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991259592186414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944894196244296,0.0,0.0,0.0993597830541991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665218445648035,0.0,0.10252836538210848,0.0,0.0,0.0886778349413364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730837623372772,0.0,0.17179318680549746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116239123156119,0.073497692714707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358287943455307,0.11783512886621338,0.09786691417901036,0.0,0.07807391378428095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4822597656490423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060549285150146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099956478564413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490538558785468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242246851486065,0.0,0.0,0.09336362239141788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,laingenierafalsa,2019/02/06,"Finally accepting my limitations I thought I’d post this because I don’t think I’m the only one who’s struggled with this.

Today, with a therapist’s help, I realized that I try to help everyone, which ends up with me feeling emotionally exhausted. I knew that I was essentially becoming my father’s therapist, and I had recognized that it was too much. But I wasn’t even counting all the other stuff I was doing as a part of the issue. Somehow I didn’t realize that I was devoting a good amount of my time to helping friends and family members through emotional traumas and ailments. 

I’ve done therapy before, but I guess I never really internalized the idea of boundaries. I didn’t even realize that it was okay to have other options then being there for everyone 24/7. I only realized the problem when an “emergency” from my dad kept me up until 2am, even though I had to be up early in the morning. I always believed that being a good person meant supporting people through their tough times, but I guess I never learned where to draw the line - how to stop putting everyone else’s wellbeing over my own. It’s especially hard when people tell you that even what you’re doing now isn’t enough. 

Anyways, I just thought I’d share, in case there’s someone out there who needs to hear that it’s okay to say that you’re not able to help right now or to set up boundaries over what times people can contact you. If someone relies on you for everything and gets upset when you put up boundaries, that’s on them. (As in they should see a therapist)

TLDR: You’re not a bad person if you can’t be there for people 24/7 because you’re only human. If people make you feel bad for that, it’s on them. ~Important things you learn in therapy~",5.810002801120447,6.2716113,6.5848739495798325,76.68931372549021,66.88235294117646,10.123249299719888,32.955182072829125,10.07000556051586,3.2797240896358537,1382,57,259,31,21,457,173,340,0.068,0.804,0.128,0.9478,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,7,4,1,20,17,0,2,14,2,23,1,0,2,3,48,40,20,0,6,10,2,3,0,1,1,1,2,0,3,27,8,0,3,15,0,0,2,10,8,0,1,16,6,38,9,41,19,6,38,0,0,1,0,28,17,0,8,17,185,65,2,0.08931179894981292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431457134528678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914324313351887,0.10888728735531712,0.09863786506839214,0.07599776278147304,0.1006238133924554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139697871994136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460854778283811,0.20092750555808656,0.07910374472316099,0.09228296286390214,0.0,0.23595840354685835,0.0,0.0,0.25602375380881937,0.08026768603805112,0.0,0.08419521550332956,0.0,0.0903174581366502,0.0,0.0,0.09783671022327617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900207432112916,0.0,0.04666172874271509,0.0,0.0,0.1498209991790052,0.0,0.0,0.19677403128892998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000582923392205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066088840027328,0.0,0.23945526489654545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082214994480747,0.0,0.09321831416976713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059616319316484735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565444857540806,0.06622356725559095,0.13776553049570614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060519986375917476,0.20377694293538665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671597489137536,0.0,0.3095877799378793,0.15596723585259906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553601533242162,0.0,0.0,0.08545932977305741,0.0,0.17956605205791207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572154253665649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627178831176147,0.0,0.07102432723801724,0.0,0.0,0.0711699405254104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134719484486855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746686630396724,0.0,0.0933680839328856,0.1022406421368476,0.0,0.10134997105554636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806244885902362,0.0,0.2042716513991401,0.3110936468611065,0.05933479069503556,0.05722739451465737,0.08774838900741991,0.14180718428280048,0.15623528458229255,0.0,0.08465714244987624,0.0,0.0,0.060636848906468574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CalebRTM,2019/02/06,"I feel a desire to help people younger than me I’m not entirely sure weather this is the right place to post this but I want to know if this is normal or not?
 I’m an 18 year old male and over the last couple of months I’ve started to feel like I need to protect people younger than me, specifically my young friends and my older friends children. I know it’s not really any of my business but whenever I’m near younger people I start to worry that they’re in danger.

Is this something like parental instincts developing or am I just a bit odd?",1.8701055194805176,4.0252263839285725,3.1309090909090886,90.75045454545456,79.80357142857143,5.858441558441559,25.36038961038961,6.980632752743323,1.0030250000000005,433,17,91,5,11,140,71,112,0.106,0.701,0.193,0.8664,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,5,0,4,0,0,0,1,20,15,7,0,5,9,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,6,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,11,5,13,15,1,14,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,10,50,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012822474632932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20891052156063453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117310956393816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351006610576374,0.1367043264243037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956813940249308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282614820420318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21032783220341345,0.15598017994525404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697315232129197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527380439502026,0.0,0.0,0.14188759451135047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18748765027608852,0.0,0.0,0.20079528879984224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247751144018065,0.0,0.0,0.39798519354258904,0.0,0.19992565108295504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18326556485189446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258716059304732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341645461149815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731472538587545,0.0,0.0,0.2708846550777496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18035018727601576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286636486597833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943306837075742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322659513999808
mentalhealth,WhyyyyWait,2019/02/06,"I can't afford to get help, but I think I might need it and I don't know what to do. Hey there. I'm a 23 year old woman who has been struggling with my mental health for as long as I can remember. My wonderful collection of negative coping mechanisms and addictions has gotten pretty large. 

I'll try to make this brief. 

I've always had super crippling social anxiety. Someone thought I was mute after going to school with me for 4 years. 

I dont remember becoming addicted to food, since I was too young, but when I was 12 I began binging and purging. I started self harming at 14. My eating disorder got out of hand when I was 18, and I started smoking pot everyday at 20. Then at 21, I started drinking nearly every day.  Drinking and smoking kinda took over after that and it was pretty much my only issue for 2 years. 

Then I quit drinking, joined AA, started therapy, and STILL every other issue flared up. Plus I discovered my horrible dependency problems. I couldn't be happy if I was alone unless I was high or drunk. After 3 months of trying so hard to hold it together, I gave up. I was tired of my moods, I was tired of hurting myself, and I was tired of caring. I withdrew from friends, lost my health insurance, stopped therapy, and stopped taking all of my medicine

Now, after about 2 months of drinking and smoking all day everyday, I want to stop. This isnt how I want my life to be. 


Before I stopped therapy, it was strongly recommended that I check myself into rehab. It's starting to sound like a good idea. I'm pretty sure I'm going to seriously hurt myself if I try to get sober without help.


The problem is, I have no health insurance (the next open enrollment period is in October). I currently have about $4 in my bank account and am $500 in debt. 

I feel trapped, and a crazy part of me wants to just wait till I try to off myself or accidentally get alcohol poisoning. It sounds better then trying to figure this out alone. ",4.422986111111111,5.51574747916667,5.8743750000000015,78.27756944444445,70.30208333333334,8.918055555555554,30.368055555555554,9.250403328903447,2.7237107638888887,1528,62,286,31,27,518,210,384,0.22,0.632,0.147,-0.9856,3,3,5,0,0,3,49.0,0,0,0,5,11,19,1,1,5,0,30,20,1,3,3,58,62,30,0,9,9,0,3,1,1,1,12,2,0,2,14,19,8,6,9,5,4,4,8,9,1,0,20,5,49,9,55,38,4,57,0,3,0,0,9,16,0,8,38,189,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617032463764889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926063975199442,0.0,0.15362671554461846,0.0,0.0,0.06171185171530143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05673660165269762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191025249048398,0.06310959725077342,0.0,0.0,0.06559358568408133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756169328808545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566155629448757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500038376329548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692171568627406,0.2906168294541943,0.0,0.07589008564593343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497569923850335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03750043553326233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968152862381118,0.0,0.05730028043583407,0.0,0.11624564198469332,0.0,0.0843002185219573,0.062206718802257165,0.05931713161698035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895082819612695,0.06643795127476923,0.0,0.0,0.23650419691711866,0.0,0.0,0.0994234881009042,0.07836019501038972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879195513690547,0.08372411297513935,0.0,0.15481956437497232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040759560838990336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05238546801736346,0.036233642963272215,0.0,0.0,0.06563436171902275,0.0,0.0,0.0809606856374261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04950621918246858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474163980608911,0.0786781486199512,0.0,0.0,0.11839680045379422,0.0,0.0545203655432567,0.05499296959605639,0.0,0.0,0.07887612472392591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782448670040525,0.0,0.0,0.05640640078061706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031428820689701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263597160073474,0.0,0.14193322766110375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888441257531625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680306914853042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505970633016901,0.0,0.0,0.07737106024929195,0.0,0.0,0.06135068119107755,0.0,0.0,0.07560265007810847,0.06284040583641018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624745252048307,0.0,0.059228869916400625,0.2480235774959533,0.0,0.07753415307795472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990034893233465,0.0,0.05576341976055383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544450226768949,0.0,0.0,0.04752242286284241,0.0,0.058879327231560676,0.0,0.2557278848150555,0.0,0.0,0.0824008857354243,0.2517684056073381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123465640956286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149314382769799,0.08042960054439026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328094904908747
mentalhealth,KittyChimera,2019/02/06,"I feel like I am losing my shit. For some history, I have been diagnosed as bipolar. I am on two mood stabilizers, an anti-depressant and a medication for night terrors. I have anxiety that none of my doctors (have had 3 in the past 2 ish years due to turnover at my doctor's office) have addressed. It had started to feel like my depression was under control. I wasn't feeling sad, but I was feeling tired and unmotivated. Today, I am probably just as depressed as I ever have been. I feel like no one in my life actually cares about me, and that if I could I would just take my cats and run away. Literally, the only thing that is keeping me coming into work every day is the fact that I have a car payment. If I had a car I didn't have to pay for, I think I would save money and run away somewhere and find a new job when I get there. I hate my job. I feel like I don't have any friends. I feel like my husband would literally rather be around anyone other than me. I just want to scream. When I saw my doctor last (January) she made me a follow up appointment for the beginning of this month, which has since been canceled with no communication from their office. If you call, no one answers the phone and they rarely return voicemails. They are basically the only provider in my area that takes my insurance and I can't afford to pay out of pocket. 

​

I just feel like I am losing my freaking shit and that I can't even function like a real person because of how tired I am. ",3.647281818181817,4.823684510000003,5.068181818181817,83.01409090909091,72.23333333333333,7.854545454545455,27.303030303030305,8.296473431620573,1.7443666666666668,1163,41,238,18,22,390,162,300,0.19,0.7020000000000001,0.108,-0.9804,3,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,3,4,13,22,3,1,13,0,35,11,2,3,2,48,57,19,0,9,9,1,8,7,1,3,9,1,1,1,11,14,0,2,11,0,3,6,9,11,0,3,12,10,50,10,32,40,2,34,0,5,1,0,10,13,2,4,22,173,61,8,0.0,0.0,0.08569280923365398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514533594497908,0.10670239218174518,0.05971584316030785,0.0,0.06717669556049775,0.0,0.0,0.06140088305029754,0.0,0.0,0.07817217686538562,0.0,0.0,0.16500638593948025,0.0,0.0,0.05352998250998567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966687895573414,0.0,0.0895311938217617,0.0,0.0,0.07564311377587538,0.0,0.0,0.09848973307152586,0.07011152560950924,0.0,0.0,0.05663211275302621,0.0,0.2268995939939096,0.08912833449745354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696409429008908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799965047219392,0.07943187514702647,0.07398622983798411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552070822464227,0.37640169757189545,0.0,0.0,0.08025948027934708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784409679542648,0.0,0.04587866194760638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669714579382518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428168189436472,0.07805221860810935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157930556483774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202491045089405,0.3003069327457763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964805440376428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309077259259587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846234714049797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009148933617332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481033112797236,0.0,0.08240654073985591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900870674226555,0.13357146894689886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838274334115196,0.0,0.07667491412543438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946772533931549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999504051953394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802775408064325,0.07263981121093842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06215448496546589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204887721677142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833904738161917,0.05626701705710313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20185622407335027,0.08323644503879638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578052967137928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179437555188013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392890120225155,0.0,0.0,0.18713948185772156,0.0,0.10670239218174518,0.05654868529024831
mentalhealth,ChristopherSousa,2019/02/06,"Please help me,socialAnxiety is runing me So I'm a 17yo male in AdultEducation, and iv been in here a week and I already feel like I'm back in 1 of the many HighSchools iv went and suffered through. Iv haven't and still dont have any friends and any Girlfriends in my life. I haven't even had girl come into my house. Iv looked up alot articles, videos, and Iv been talking with all  kinds of psychologists and talking diferent meds but nothing is working. The girl I'm trying to get is mildly shy and quite, like myself. Iv notice that, so i talked to her just bit,(That's somthing I never did until now), I asked some questions on music and hobbies but not much else. 'Keep in mind that I did this in class near other students'.Later I find out that she isnt as shy as I thought she'd be,as she knows alot of the other students, Contrary to me having no friends.I also gave a wrong first impression to the other students whom know about the girl-Brooke. I always act diferent around other people but once I act diferent to what I actual am, but once I act that way it stays that way with other students so in turn I stay that way. .I want to ask  Brooke if I could join her to lunch, but shes always around a friend or a group, and she dosent know enough about me and isn't entrested in me anyway. But I still want to ask her to join her for lunch but she's needs to be alone or at the very least with just 1 other person but I dont know  how I should handel that if she has a friend with her. Plz leave any advise I'm really desperate. Btw I do show better eye contact and better body language than I ever did in the past.",2.884478429582288,4.17967254599407,3.751053412462909,91.25529958913494,74.28189910979228,6.252864642775623,22.753823328007307,6.490185161304077,0.3620802099977181,1276,33,280,9,26,408,173,337,0.07,0.8170000000000001,0.113,0.9199,3,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,5,19,11,0,0,15,0,25,11,2,1,3,58,48,32,0,7,15,0,1,2,4,1,7,0,0,4,17,21,2,1,8,2,0,5,9,2,0,1,9,3,39,9,42,35,7,37,0,1,2,0,33,17,0,8,12,184,56,7,0.0,0.0,0.09678694586047468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272223807050533,0.1094493747735936,0.07931549901100829,0.16505409234840546,0.0,0.0,0.20234069103313249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17658532419997108,0.27816425510546755,0.0,0.0,0.07626453725085804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754361512098166,0.10828063212028953,0.11016841166019864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543617630483878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918844642915325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324802203983589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285350983532246,0.0,0.0,0.1024811177605548,0.0,0.06550851909723678,0.08971544600071245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050149202929182214,0.0708553631871802,0.0,0.0,0.09065019623065716,0.08436382821087135,0.0,0.0,0.2298824014131956,0.0,0.051818298522183434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647934363691406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444226347731913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815717356300855,0.0,0.10328238606606834,0.2180304797799828,0.0,0.0,0.10501900605352824,0.0,0.0,0.07005490546403803,0.09691025120051967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328757426702796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055458705352537,0.0,0.0,0.11016841166019864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014515427711054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290989655244992,0.07354190832009948,0.07649497326444411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516743133043153,0.11291892224597187,0.0,0.21125035896009395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946800709625579,0.06876004139536138,0.0866015576882322,0.0,0.10887162592345767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110610383712508,0.10549185250608524,0.0,0.0,0.06353828011957739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114288029919972,0.15841312637924512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23915526755839825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873912096434757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673378038650244,0.10788111276911112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818352167579901,0.11699976852779295,0.2361772404345716,0.07955750633089616,0.0,0.0,0.09194234766667636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220539453562409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084395225597449,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FourBeerStrong,2019/02/06,"Girlfriend's sudden confusion/memory loss My girlfriend has had no issues in the past with this, but last Tuesday, she lost it. Everything from speaking of people who she had not seen in years, saying things like ""I know how everything happens so why do we have to talk about it"" , confusing me with other people (been together 3.5 years), barging in on our downstairs neighbors at 3am, taking our dog and cat to our old house while refusing to take calls, general uncomfort and culminating in trashing our current home. She willingly went to a local mental health hospital for treatment and was released on sunday as ahe appeared to be around 80% herself. She is currently with her aunt about 2 hours away but is showing signs of falling back to her state last week.I am not angry at her and do not intend on leaving her, especially in this time of need. I just want to understand what is happening but I really have no idea what questions to ask.
Has anyone experienced something similar to this? Is there anything I should watch for? Any advice on my coping with her absence?",8.051363636363636,8.123901207070709,7.818888888888887,71.065,62.18181818181819,11.038383838383837,37.19191919191919,10.637119530657019,4.118943434343433,861,38,143,19,11,275,135,198,0.085,0.875,0.04,-0.7956,2,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,5,0,0,2,8,4,0,1,2,0,18,1,0,2,0,31,31,11,0,3,7,1,0,1,3,2,1,2,2,0,10,10,0,1,4,1,0,3,5,3,0,0,7,5,22,1,35,21,0,33,0,2,2,0,27,14,0,3,16,105,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915084982707602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379542956011416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672429114778176,0.0,0.12560365801655154,0.1358754100751793,0.1426909150083583,0.0,0.14340339014198422,0.11736507912083692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585499133857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743527510068951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699450798962575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224135946473595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310298336150166,0.0,0.15031240542294608,0.1761175743268817,0.0,0.1723036726552383,0.0,0.15930882151365922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388290754968103,0.2488319472864897,0.0,0.1616159279131445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456859839296545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16661655740869918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381780207917065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317516895559085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016228066782046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570512613399542,0.21163250941059936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17098348902006086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778037790889764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213796019790998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750406364003302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295215006317748,0.12268033484042652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140234421286533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900132013518182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588959616761894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090026685962941,0.0,0.12243269757828447,0.0,0.0,0.1414919869370028,0.1377272175943497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19658083249379252
mentalhealth,CJEvs,2019/02/06,It’s ok to not be ok. Whoever needs to hear this i just want you to know the sun always rises again after it sets. No struggle lasts forever. You are not alone no matter how alone you feel. You are powerful and you are alive. You can do absolutely anything you put your mind to. Never give up hope that things will get better. It’s ok to not be ok ,0.5530479452054813,2.7041484657534265,2.5166952054794542,93.27175513698631,84.89041095890411,5.8417808219178085,17.344178082191778,7.1686216300943375,0.044535616438356566,270,6,61,4,8,90,50,73,0.092,0.634,0.274,0.9151,1,2,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,8,0,2,3,7,0,1,1,4,8,0,0,1,1,14,16,2,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,0,2,9,6,7,13,0,8,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,1,4,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5150964824273162,0.0,0.0,0.2069142572627332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20463510878984348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21992936017597894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573556860991175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992037457276354,0.2385479568743176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28027037742000505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469864893906372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366631209878885,0.20270011800392548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25108690031108266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843864532073132,0.19179046520015594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24998311649092625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599650026810365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520601443638233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466726444669935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrHoundDog,2019/02/06,"Fighter Hi guys! 

I was just reminded of an uplifting song. We are all fighters! 

Let's kick mental health problems, bullies & haters in the nuts & go for our dreams! 

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxV-OOIamyk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxV-OOIamyk)   


Hope this encourages someone today! Xo ",11.910329670329665,17.032307358974368,4.131575091575094,75.3646153846154,77.97435897435899,6.331135531135532,28.64835164835165,7.447530270364453,2.6865428571428573,253,9,28,4,7,58,38,39,0.18600000000000005,0.574,0.24,0.5723,0,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,2,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,2,3,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6078623002311607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594196061943657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777477975482974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29816772005971603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27860851536133435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28683923654709514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826868777595003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684090226140384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376741822780753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658895280668636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheCuriousSloth,2019/02/06,"Need help I need to get this off my chest.....im in 11th grade and have had depression and anxiety most of my life. I have a big videogame addiction (black ops 4) and if i had the freedom i would play videogames until i died. From my parents eyes the videogames are destroying me because all they hear is me screaming and swearing due to anger. All i want to do is play videogames and when they are taken away from me i become destructive and depressed. Comparable to taking a dope addicts needle. My grades in the 2nd semester this year have been terrible. I already failed my math midterm and feel completely stupid because i left literally almost all of it blank. Recently ive had suicidal thoughts in my head constantly. I dont want to kill myself because i could never do that to my family and my friends. But the suicidal thoughts this week has been crazy. My house is extremely stressful due to a sibling with disabilities and my other younger sibling who i cant even put into words how much i hate him for many reasons. I can never see myself in the future....where im at right now is a dead end. I feel like ill never get anywhere in life due to my lack of motivation and my extreme depression. Im smoking weed every night to get these thoughts off my mind and just relax. Ive already been caught twice by my parents and that was pretty bad. Really had to get this out, im never happy......the only time im ""happy"" is when im playing xbox, even though it can make me extremely angry; in my mind it is my way of enjoying myself. I care about my xbox more than real people. The addiction is insane......i have many thoughts of hurting my family and myself when vidoegames are taken away from me. I dont know what to do. I really need help",3.734388295000538,5.355287282798834,4.742287010042116,83.689428787388,72.6734693877551,7.996933376525212,28.447143936939856,8.626192665926032,2.146347888996869,1370,54,268,25,27,447,174,343,0.205,0.684,0.111,-0.991,2,0,0,0,0,1,47.0,0,0,2,2,10,24,6,1,10,0,35,8,2,4,7,51,60,21,5,9,3,2,2,1,1,1,6,2,0,0,13,16,0,0,9,6,0,2,7,15,0,1,15,7,50,9,38,43,7,38,0,5,3,0,10,16,0,3,20,180,63,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248927755130823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621756538783579,0.0,0.1679882408404582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05822729887263103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302394706715202,0.0,0.06355233510214223,0.13919587429461905,0.08406236210076765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760369183965479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980448821140289,0.08225261384277828,0.0,0.06077114573765392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966716338654052,0.0,0.07899471835675775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841099291662973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741475626864399,0.0,0.0,0.10054567151226357,0.0,0.06412965510272489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435077429521747,0.0,0.07697144361995033,0.05437613435685848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880578774961305,0.0,0.15906650595481514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102518190563943,0.0,0.07514720063887166,0.07811532160848163,0.0,0.08578644767120229,0.0,0.10203574038586376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782578502217897,0.0814820271305974,0.0,0.4932996052849149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842092935967134,0.0,0.04183047735951656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269850581915708,0.0,0.10752368714295904,0.03718564553762522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080694536547941,0.15433608663825732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370766923528334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595283338548992,0.16931356390522406,0.2348164348752804,0.0,0.0,0.07142819748253304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05788842230430339,0.0,0.0,0.16903204181002635,0.0,0.0,0.05276813329458449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743569672692359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651598338341628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663483767980798,0.09752165259413854,0.07825826821738191,0.07515377614114734,0.0,0.0,0.0650012719019295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065331307595656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718877486962452,0.0,0.0,0.16651357432020314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722854760377361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478200025300882,0.24170528965536084,0.044382912033382016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978847679295618,0.060416058762676215,0.06105437131014711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406947776596928,0.0,0.0,0.049015170689429545
mentalhealth,FITS97,2019/02/06,"Opening Up to Therapy? So to preface, in the past I used to be incredibly enthusiastic about therapy (DBT in my case). I was excited to have tools to combat my stress and disordered thinking, and I felt like I was committed 100% to improving myself and my life. 

I’m at the point now though, where I feel like therapy doesn’t work. I know it’s helped a lot of people, and I objectively know it can work; but I feel like every time I go into therapy I’m just being lied to and being fed false hope. How do I cope with the doubt that “This isn’t disordered, black and white thinking, I’m just legitimately a fuck up”? 

I guess I just don’t know what to do because I feel like my self loathing has gotten so bad that anything else just sounds like propaganda, and **I** know the real truth about myself. Would this be considered a delusion?

I’m not really sure what to do, and how to get back on the right track, or what I should be doing differently. I’d appreciate any tips or advice. Thanks. ",1.6247402597402605,3.9569345909090927,3.7012842712842726,85.31954545454549,81.87878787878788,7.40779220779221,22.05483405483405,8.418075326091056,1.4392349206349215,771,25,161,18,21,262,112,198,0.145,0.691,0.163,-0.3068,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,14,14,1,2,8,0,19,3,0,3,3,42,42,16,0,3,8,0,4,5,0,2,1,1,0,1,9,11,1,0,10,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,5,7,21,10,21,30,1,16,0,0,2,1,2,11,1,6,9,103,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552817678798673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039710635178063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097289164797771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090778648011884,0.0987130008843019,0.07206890950716482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352004235744195,0.2709923611640304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987618813769591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960972623100156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933445332678347,0.2533800555192767,0.113514613920047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929717847140953,0.061767723081080014,0.0,0.06719003565773797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023825093599806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924377691828237,0.0,0.0,0.11742417716710615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598936414811006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350586809255213,0.2887940037875337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051073254804764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285921327595645,0.08196238234518781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176091132174036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456602019034175,0.07573801154034453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096356963789407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333453905989275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542642606245214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111425735771458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884576670065414,0.5408027150690102,0.0,0.0,0.15150771102045524,0.11615553771927878,0.0,0.0689379930376697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210850749928384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721385279652609,0.0,0.0,0.08398370253347237,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,missivylulu,2019/02/06,"What are the differences in the behavior of a mother who has narcissistic vs borderline personality disorder? There seems to be considerable overlap between many of the symptoms of NPD and BPD, and I would like to find out how a mother with each disorder might behave so I can figure out which one best describes my own mother. I'm convinced she is one of these, but so far I haven't figured out which one.",11.405541125541127,8.016721155844158,10.97064935064935,62.12359307359311,58.22077922077922,14.422510822510825,43.84848484848485,12.45797560212912,5.321921212121214,327,14,58,8,3,108,57,77,0.049,0.868,0.083,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,5,0,8,1,0,1,0,17,10,6,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,5,3,12,7,3,6,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,1,48,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372302700937673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28470775189731073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361788579670655,0.5181561239455255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066097340491816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043881899732318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291838005037657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398081204059693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45954117502335295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19738208571201454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20579154309364972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349571988401595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058264370410658,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LazarJ,2019/02/06,"The never ending desire to kill myself I'm not going to do it, but it never leaves my mind. Sometimes I don't even know why I feel this way. You know, I could have a great day, hang out with friends, talk to people, have fun, but at the end of the day I'll be depressed as fuck.
I feel like it's all too much. I just wish I could evaporate. 
",2.3352000000000004,2.5317961200000028,3.790666666666666,94.60200000000002,74.46666666666667,6.533333333333332,20.33333333333333,5.6839178017228535,-0.2512666666666665,259,4,65,1,5,86,54,75,0.152,0.613,0.235,0.8545,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,1,0,0,3,7,2,0,4,0,7,1,0,0,3,18,15,3,1,4,4,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,0,2,9,4,8,12,2,11,0,1,0,1,3,2,1,0,7,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152616987637593,0.0,0.0,0.2546505145322107,0.0,0.17004515503326698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3497266725025543,0.0,0.0,0.1303998748893871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19965188888062305,0.1410431898351388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525330180799697,0.18251976454889446,0.0,0.0,0.11220334925196722,0.0,0.0,0.21766597316310707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184257399523311,0.0,0.21700343464627372,0.0,0.0,0.2090486159526924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964537498801426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934682951891708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513290057015896,0.0,0.30453855714687583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687228651948585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195262153130956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868580859670448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670980929302214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814880370322975,0.0,0.2270334018103584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Svenslinnea,2019/02/06,"SAD (Sorry that my English is bad, it is not my first language) 
I suffer from SAD and it starts to take over my life, and its not a little winter depression, its all the seasons. The spring is worst, I get a lot of anxiety and im always tired, even if I sleep over 15h a day. I try to do my best to keep going like normal, eat,sleep and do stuff I like but in the end i always get stuck and sometimes so bad that I dont want to keep going anymore. I just wanna dissapear.
I have tried medecation, 3 diffrent types but they have never workd, or just given me so bad side effects so I couldnt take them because it affected my work/school. I have also been in terapy and I have taken a lot of blood tests but it always looks fine.
I have had it sins I was 13yo and kind of learn how to handel it but it feels kind of lonley because I have never heard or talkt to someone in the same situation. Its always the winter depression that people talk about. 

I am lost, and I dont know what to do, its always a challenge to talk to the hospital and to get someone that understands and they will probably put me on medecation agan and I dont know if i can handel more side effects. 

",2.8506167800453497,3.8408838326530628,4.408129251700681,87.70135487528347,73.93877551020408,7.240362811791383,23.407029478458053,7.594959193182576,0.897390022675737,909,24,198,11,18,305,123,245,0.153,0.785,0.063,-0.9684,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,6,9,18,0,0,11,0,22,4,2,4,3,44,43,24,0,6,12,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,17,11,0,2,7,0,0,3,8,11,0,1,8,3,29,7,23,33,7,22,1,6,1,0,6,9,0,6,12,141,46,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102538774495616,0.4215308482635032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750935082157027,0.0,0.1004819917156101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537933408728303,0.12352718927957512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632885330088236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534287312760026,0.0,0.17453314809456505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562380663745591,0.0,0.0,0.1036754246970305,0.0,0.0,0.08973924766125553,0.0,0.0,0.06692075605191353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05123032273772269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618254915708214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880620240923174,0.0,0.11516472649790355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094427439433185,0.0,0.0,0.18011534339463173,0.0,0.2110179090486708,0.11136539758729903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156515371443503,0.09899944875708838,0.10154903256498997,0.0,0.0,0.08508309326007207,0.0,0.11060250355209214,0.17227689955343506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628811383841654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927186762193152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070242374881171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092398544888827,0.0,0.0,0.1018543589407391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254102186313252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388767263033715,0.2027858945685424,0.0,0.17169583372509176,0.0,0.10020784856528714,0.11341919333688252,0.07171465848575022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598690223672806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235972332952538,0.16287399500971433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645217702862905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757895332159872,0.0,0.0,0.10547745937755323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05976102860878935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376200317058444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1994oj,2019/02/06,"Lexapro Hello, everyone. I went to a doctor and they prescribed me Lexapro for depression. After taking it I feel restless, my mind feels like it’s moving a mile a minute, I feel almost high, slightly crazy. Is this normal? Is this mania? Has anyone else experienced this?",2.7363265306122457,5.771787938775513,3.515510204081636,82.32591836734697,87.9795918367347,5.248979591836736,23.3265306122449,6.868970318607317,1.3286653061224487,215,8,34,3,7,68,39,49,0.168,0.7809999999999999,0.051,-0.6891,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,8,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,4,6,1,3,7,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,21,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616908771748213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182732642648168,0.2677702528163733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250888497935729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674891066417911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183132138971999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497183418836349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.396418945471824,0.1866989351445917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761164897710085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767587300297312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638754897640581,0.0,0.0,0.277759470986548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256054402774807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964926161792976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24226166703451546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tamberxoxo,2019/02/06,"Where do I go next? I've always known and for so long that I've had mental health problems, I put off dealing with it in a healthy way. I hid from it and distracted myself from the problem - well as much as you can, it never does work really does it?

So about a year ago I decided it was time to start doing something. I had a few crisis moments and ended up seeking help from emergency teams. They never seemed to take me seriously but it gave me the kick I needed. I went to my GP and I spoke about things. He made a referral for a psychiatric  assessment. I waited weeks for this, whilst filling out the mood charts and info they'd asked for. 

This assessment was done by a nurse, who then took her notes and everything to a meeting they have each week about their new referrals. A few days later I was sent a letter to tell me that they couldn't decide whether I had bipolar or borderline personality disorder but had advised my GP of which drugs to prescribe. Went back to my GP and he did this and explained that I would be unable to have any further psychiatrist appointments because I'm not a priority. 

I had to gradually increase my dose to the highest and for a while it's been working. My moods had stabilised and I felt I was getting better. I started paying for private counselling, however this really didn't help, we didn't click and all in all it was an awful experience that I don't want to repeat. 

However just recently things have been getting worse. A lot worse. So being an adult about it I made a self referral for an assessment to a ""secondary"" team who help those who are less of a priority - they came back to me and said I was too extreme. 

Now I'm feeling quite frustrated because I'm too much for one, not enough for the other and I'm only trying to do the best thing, the thing you're always told to do and talk, get help. 

So all in all over the last year;

* I've been to A&E - who all but turned me away and told me to deal with it.
* I've been to my GP - who did what he could and referred me
* Had an assessment - which told me what I might have maybe, they don't know
* Been told I wasn't bad enough for support
* Tried to get myself some help privately
* Made calls to crisis lines when things have got so bad I can't cope
* Made a self referral and told I was too bad for support by that particular team

What can I do now?! I'm so close to giving in and deciding that this is the way my life has to be from now on. ",3.3831032237056355,4.575793895582334,4.56320525344622,86.31943178117878,72.89558232931726,7.954064908281777,26.11006186909801,8.441846121484758,1.5805421035493326,1912,63,408,32,37,629,226,498,0.08,0.8079999999999999,0.112,0.9606,2,0,2,0,0,0,50.0,1,1,7,8,22,15,1,1,29,1,51,5,0,4,7,66,95,34,0,7,8,0,2,0,0,2,5,2,0,4,38,25,0,1,11,3,1,9,11,8,1,1,44,5,51,5,59,43,17,53,0,0,1,0,50,13,0,5,29,291,89,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794470571964152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755620134467405,0.08304914964375189,0.0,0.05212394223497337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165645966177724,0.0,0.07201425010463547,0.11787668552312418,0.1919961173759435,0.09344902687547496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043838710896284,0.06778980365908582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826718960548193,0.08766602609415948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061197982268548036,0.0,0.0,0.04943225813389016,0.15804348799579251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784638415733302,0.0,0.13415209697400585,0.07843852967763315,0.0,0.0,0.08888849502906508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788825533382538,0.1583977943848766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888717068802748,0.07497742091298776,0.0,0.0,0.03875603285622795,0.0,0.07359505145501781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018373675175132,0.07352869642710078,0.043561387919431864,0.0,0.061303200061391325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814742930849926,0.0,0.0,0.2568810146285933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042124280868156325,0.06247915780851005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054139449070371805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783194496564574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516423109067856,0.0,0.29010851403364485,0.0,0.0,0.07700421370888319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772441548174507,0.0813124666319508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269165535177965,0.056834255555135264,0.11823285412370642,0.07402807306557012,0.08151707141270291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193933994233463,0.058295011534362826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692694238640774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668546528599966,0.0,0.07705340647308978,0.0,0.0815256367596442,0.0,0.0,0.09820661259242523,0.0,0.07568163153538594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291074281209181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977836260345224,0.1599232281173397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900813794503822,0.0,0.0,0.10850510057397514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396073314036647,0.0,0.0,0.057630502091068535,0.061607555493434274,0.06699459650958113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25461091854632834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04469464300329146,0.0,0.0,0.36620697774645594,0.08515984919993196,0.10407926693249547,0.08337209181470602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045209560754509805,0.12168080255899914,0.1229663942485339,0.0,0.06891664801543029,0.14210876500192265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160275655711936,0.0,0.1562237401183689,0.05444924398621652,0.0,0.0,0.09871887423978544
mentalhealth,studentclassproj,2019/02/06,"Tell me about your experience finding a treatment professional Hi I'm Kate, I am working on a project to rework the experience of finding a treatment provider. I understand the process of finding a therapist or treatment professional leaves room for improvement (as I have personally been through it myself) and am interested in hearing about your experiences. All answers will remain fully anonymous, and I'm happy to accept direct messages or private responses on the topic. Thank you for your help!! 

* Can you tell me about the process you went through to find your current or past treatment professional (therapist, psychiatrist, doctor, treatment center, etc)? 
* What blockers (negative experiences, access limitations, lack of options, etc.) were present for you in that process? 
* What worked well in the process, what features of your search did you find helpful?
* Did you immediately find someone who was a good fit, or did that take multiple tries? Was there an option for specifying your individual needs during your search?
* Anything else you’d like to share about your experience with accessing and finding a care provider/ suggestions for improvement? 

Lastly, can you indicate whether this was a search for you personally or a family member or friend? ",7.7050377562028025,10.841896893203883,7.031585760517802,65.03345199568503,65.50485436893204,10.014670981661274,40.57065803667746,10.25414643259724,5.208074217907228,1024,60,141,28,18,317,116,206,0.01,0.795,0.195,0.9898,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,17,0,3,6,10,0,0,14,0,15,1,0,0,1,28,24,11,0,2,7,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,2,8,4,0,2,10,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,9,1,23,10,27,13,4,13,0,0,0,0,30,8,0,8,5,103,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142963235198895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088886205530777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012822709477408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266227495768139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207168120759833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4839735905596835,0.09328378933624536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6330867602924687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645060264121079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829968213871216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533697826096412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152687301523756,0.0,0.13265180421790612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065964918911142,0.0,0.10477661080904736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04834328592039997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337216562764097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446153910046104,0.0,0.1728033438201127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384229291498209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440010788085226,0.0,0.17297802472276147,0.09110234201237273,0.0,0.22978339916467225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718238091784523,0.0,0.0,0.10301323978799087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889703518291813,0.09173013476657092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440774733235752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YellowJackSeven,2019/02/06,"WAYS TO OVERCOME DEPRESSION VIDEO ​

In this video I talk about my depression story and how I deal with my depression. Check out the link below.  


[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0e8ff3oleTI&t=70s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0e8ff3oleTI&t=70s)

​",21.499137931034483,29.18453468965518,8.396120689655174,47.7796982758621,46.93103448275862,8.417241379310347,31.38793103448276,8.841846274778883,3.881682758620689,242,7,20,4,4,52,23,29,0.337,0.6629999999999999,0.0,-0.9216,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.688622479058416,0.3861338293458105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380706330159508,0.4105512880941157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277085550381954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611829300996893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861338293458105,0.0
mentalhealth,noclue13,2019/02/06,"What's wrong with me? I don't really know where to start and I am honestly very insecure about writing this in the first place. English is not my native language so please be careful with negatively commenting about that since I know I will be effected by it if someone does. (or about anything else on here for that matter)

I don't know where to start or how to really explain so I am just going to throw it all out.

I would consider myself to be an unnattractive person nor do I see myself as capable of going to college and succeeding since I don't feel like I am intelligent enough, I haven't been outside for the past 3 years (maybe 3 times) after dropping out of high school. (I am graduating this year and I don't know what to do with my life which is another struggle) and I don't do anything else during the day then read, masturbate and daydream, I have the emotional awareness of a pineapple and I literally can't seem to understand or learn anything from my past mistakes in life. I don't have many friends because I'm honestly just odd in every way, I don't know how to have conversations with people and I don't understand why, (I personally think it's because I'm very unintelligent) I am incredibly insecure about anything I say or do in public and I feel almost paralyzed to an extent that I feel like I have to be careful with being myself every second or minute of the day. I sit in my room most of the day and don't do much other then masturbate, fantasize about kissing and hugging my imaginary boyfriend (jeez this sounds all really pathetic and sad) that I met online (which I have been talking to for the past three months and because I find him so attractive I didn't want him to lose interest in me so I lied to him that I would be visiting him next month in another country (not sure how to handle that situation either) I also always compare myself with everyone in literally EVERYTHING, I compare myself to my dad with how much better he cooks then me, I compare myself to my friend who seems to be naturally good at academics, I compare myself to people on instagram who seem to be naturally good at taking pictures, I compare myself to literally everyone about anything and it drives me insane because I am never satisfied with myself because of how unnattractive and uninteresting I feel as a person. I genuinely am very desperate at this point and don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for, maybe I just wanted to throw this all out because I'm a mess. OH yeah and also, I spend sometimes hours a day dancing or listening to music and imagining as if I am very pretty, liked by everyone and very intelligent and succeeding in every aspect of life.  I am pretty sure I am a maladaptive daydreamer which also consumes not only a lot of my time but makes my imagine things that I am planning in my imagination to do to become 'the perfect girl' that I daydream about being. I haven't been diagnosed with anything but I also suspect myself to be a HSP, ADHD and depression. I am not sure what to say now anymore and I am just going to post this without reading and see what people on here might respond with as advice.

OH and by the way I am going to a therapist for the first time in a very long time next Tuesday and hoping to get treatment for all my issues and just see what happens really, I am aware that I might sound like a troll because of the way I talk and stupidity in general but I honestly just want some help, I have no one to talk to and I feel overwhelmed by my mind and having to do it all alone.",6.624068302387268,6.423958725574714,7.628908045977013,72.15305039787802,65.19252873563218,10.816622458001769,34.800176834659595,10.447272113097851,3.653417152961981,2827,118,518,64,39,959,262,696,0.075,0.823,0.102,0.9332,0,1,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,9,31,37,1,4,23,1,63,7,0,7,10,122,107,60,0,9,23,1,5,4,2,5,4,5,1,4,33,41,1,0,25,4,1,9,23,11,0,5,5,14,88,26,98,87,13,72,0,4,4,2,29,27,1,18,34,396,121,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870806839938408,0.1117330877826984,0.0,0.0,0.05724819521833134,0.05921160079068793,0.0,0.18287754442151333,0.0475706001376993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989692218827408,0.0,0.0,0.05669796965790368,0.0,0.0,0.2822796765139929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24395508573642255,0.06314054367350415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05056283597793365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657867258008288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474814809974902,0.0,0.04924103795121501,0.05802705449048313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05003046261576958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955175634921272,0.06430933967955463,0.0,0.059072613169278074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445063350917919,0.16388715426486206,0.051381336491241034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453611212091294,0.08168551538059146,0.0,0.0,0.05225298174600793,0.0972587321114959,0.0,0.0,0.08833987808261581,0.0,0.029869329790519882,0.0,0.12996569946820674,0.09590413717197667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05055585895676315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03832031340238254,0.06040398075799633,0.0,0.0567834023698871,0.056301620840318325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967135473710385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953448374300655,0.1885171210941713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114406306798635,0.11172285990638033,0.0,0.0,0.05059426819718302,0.04800898706022296,0.06395938676222998,0.0,0.048604482538939064,0.0,0.0,0.038161884493810784,0.05796211393095994,0.11487129972975395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129815079414186,0.05772610690304592,0.0,0.09126621054823926,0.0,0.0840540815590659,0.0,0.04409356634460963,0.0,0.12160337067710528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0387403441897182,0.04348089163035476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637276991810018,0.11890488947462882,0.1497577435423797,0.05973121068539975,0.06275625777534401,0.054044788304340736,0.0,0.05475372472842517,0.11632630511175925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437233732988705,0.0,0.14650005093483506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092886657155178,0.0,0.05785979802969141,0.13667293188684435,0.15613816736527394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458438345296262,0.06426225930592283,0.0,0.0,0.04844054643386117,0.0,0.0565432816411402,0.0,0.08093142783952835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05976722607680283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164811731234766,0.0,0.042985249510544984,0.13785492309794234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637958618482481,0.03798167104124235,0.036632674482240564,0.0,0.0,0.13334677377929444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903342458233182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830308768370678,0.10116227581483744,0.13613831570589122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158766212655766,0.0,0.0,0.055110512212537884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122484633951461,0.06250718286855593,0.0,0.07363210950152267
mentalhealth,Street_Respond,2019/02/06,"am i crazy? just a rant of whats in my head today  Feb. 2019

**this is long, please read its entirety.** 

(for the potential reader, i am not suicidal or going to harm anyone or myself. this is just the thoughts in my head. i am trying to find out if i am on a path to psychosis. which comes and goes.) 

​

my head is wild, its out of control and its like i dont know who i am. not like schizophrenia or anything like that but that doesnt seem too out of reach for my current state. its like i am a secret psychopath. i have never done anything psychopathic before but its almost like, i can relate to those who are psychos. i was raised pretty normally except my dad is abnormally controlling. never violent or abusive really, but almost like he has a God complex. 

​

see, i never capitalized anything other than God.(which i never do, for some reason this writing is different) so its almost like i am one form of normal, and i understand that God is the higher power within our universe. but i never feel normal, i never feel like i fit in to anything. 

​

my mind is wild, it cant be controlled. i heard someone on the radio today say something about some hormone injection they got that helped them think more and have so many more thoughts. i laughed because i cant stop thinking. i dont necessarily ever have complete thoughts because i have so many. i can never finish anything, thoughts included. its extremely frustrating for me, but i can imagine it is frustrating for those around me as well. i sleep pretty dang good though almost every night i sleep really well, so its not like my mind doesnt shut off ever.

​

its just when my eyes are open i am having many thoughts, they contradict each other too. which is an even bigger frustration for me. one second i want to be a national internet criminal, the next i want to goto seminary and follow that path of going into ministry, then the next i am back to being an i.t. guy at our family business and eventually take the reigns from dad, then i want to start my own company in the same industry and be independant then i want to be a computer programmer or web dev. i can never be consistent, its like my focus lasts for 2 weeks max then im on to the next goal. its a miracle i have stayed married for almost 6 years.

​

which i am blessed to have done it because i probably wouldnt stick with me as long as k has. shes done really well with the kids too. they would have driven me mad by now. 1 is constantly saying ""mommy"" and whining for snacks or milk and 2 is always screaming for food since 2 is only 1 year old. now, i wont even name my kids or wife in this...why? i have no idea, what makes me think i am writing some kind of secret manuscript with nuclear codes in it or something. its like i wish to live in this fantasy land where i can do it all, and experience all different paths of life. did i mention that one of my other constant desires is to be a farmer and help my family become independent from the 'grid' and from the modern luxurys of society? 

​

see, i never really experienced a lot of life, which i am glad about. morally, i dont think college is a good place, i think there is a lot of sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll if you catch my drift. i always feel glad that i never went to college just because of that, i feel like its a breeding ground of sin and immorality. which shows that i do have some sort of moral compass. which comes from my upbringing. i was raised in a 'christian' home, went to christian school all except one year which i returned back to the christian school because i didnt care much for the public system. my parents are christian just not super involved. they had christian morals as a guideline but it was never strictly enforced or anything. 

​

in school, i had a really hard time staying focused in class, i had no interest in it as a general rule, it was all too slow for me maybe, i would get bored. my grades were terrible. if it werent for k, i would have failed miserably, she did some final work for me to make sure i graduated. i am ever grateful to her for that. 

​

sometimes my temper is bad, i lose it on the road sometimes, but i never show it, another secret thing i keep to myself, things make me really mad sometimes. but i am usually really quick to get over them. 

​

i have overcome a few things in my life too, i am what some consider to be, 'white privelege'. my parents were raised by east and south texans, which to say the lease were not the most open to other races. so we had a touch of prejudice in our house hold, but it wasnt out of hatred, it was out of not knowing any different, i have now helped my family overcome some hesitance towards newcomers in our family which are not white. which is a big deal since in high school i was disciplined for posting very racist comments on the internet. but i found a deeper relationship with God, and found that i was very wrong and have since changed my mindset on that. also, i was pretty much an addict to pornography starting at age 10 or so, until the fall of 2017 when i was 23 years old i have been free of that addiction for nearly a year and a half, and now use that as one of my biggest turning points in my faith.

​

now my main struggle is controlling my thoughts, like i said before i constantly and rapidly change my mind. the show, done by netflix in late 2018, called '""bandersnatch"" black mirror' has had a recent influence on my brain. its almost as if it opened a door that i did not know existed. its concept is rather anti biblical in the sense that they think that the world has multiple realities and its all controlled by some 'spirit' out there in the universe. very, free thinking outlook. i do get a sense that there are multiple realities, from the sense that person 1 sees things completely than person 2 does. they react to the same scenarios in extremely different ways. and that the 'spirit' out there in the universe is the Holy Spirit, of the one true God. one ending of the show that involves murder is not really attractive to me, but i find myself wondering what it would be like to be in his shoes, not wanting to kill someone, but wanting to understand what it feels like in his brain. i am confident that murder would be the thing that would kill my soul. i am confident that there is no way that i could stand the guilt of knowing that i ended someones life. i feel good about that. but the desire is still there to gain the understanding.

​

maybe thats my issue, is that i desire to understand it all, a desire to understand everything that is. maybe i have inhereted my fathers 'God complex'. i sure hope not. since it is one of my biggest frustrations with him. 

​

i desire solidarity pretty regularly. it is tough to be married and want to be alone. i like to think at times. i am really smart...intellegent i guess, smart to me means book smart, but i was never much of a studier ( i am at times ) but i feel that i have a high IQ, some of the ideas i have had as far as inventions in the retail or manufacturing world, i came up with originally, without influence of seeing the idea from others. though someone else, -usually a big conglomerant like samsung or apple- comes up with the product before i even think about starting it. however, the idea was original to me. anyways, i feel like a higher IQ and solidarity kind of go hand in hand. i tend to think that i could be alone forever, but i know that when the time came for my sex drive to gain control, i would end up in a very sinful situation very quickly. there are times when i desire to hug or kiss my wife without the intention of having intercourse though which shows me that i would get lonely if i was alone all of the time. yet, my mind still goes there. 

​

i have had thought tangents where i want to leave and be in the wilderness like a wild mountain man. with just me and my dog, cowboy like. but i dont know how i would fare the cowboy life. i am sure i would get bored. 

​

i feel like i live multiple lives though. i have the way i seem to other people, the way i am with my wife, and the way my brain thinks, and i am constantly suppressing the way my brain thinks. why? today, i thought about becoming a photographer to capture wildlife in its beauty. while simultaneously plotting my web dev business and my musical career, while morphing that into the idea of being an artist. then i entertained the fact that if i were to be a good artist i would need to use psycodelic drugs to get inspired, which goes directly against my thoughts 2 days ago to become a minister of some sort. 

​

i was medicated for adhd about a year ago, and felt a little difference, but i didnt see enough value from the cost of the meds, i would say that i got slightly more focused, but it was definitely not life altering. i am at a really weird spot in my life. i am not suicidal at all, not in a psychopathic break, i dont like to hurt people, i dont want to ruin my family, yet at the same time, the understanding of what would happen if...maybe thats what consumes me. i am really not sure. 

​

i will goto church tonight, and do some bible study. just learn a little bit, i have also asked to lead a young boys group that i was a part of as a child. i really feel like its a good opportunity to deepen my faith, my walk with God i feel will definitely benefit from that, others have suggested that i step up to the plate and do it, so they must see something that i dont. i dont really like kids. i like mine but they are little right now, this group is grades 1-5 and i think theyre all punks and feel like i cant really relate to them. maybe its Gods way of humbling me since i feel like im on a somewhat higher level when it comes to IQ and understanding the Bible. so i am open to it and am really praying about it. my nephew is in the group since we take him to church with us and he really would be excited. he doesnt really have a dad figure so, my dad and i have to step up sometimes. i think i will do it, and i think i will do fine. i was always told it is good to get out of your comfort zone. it makes you better. 

​

i just cant stop thinking that i dont fit in. like, if i really told people what i think they would think i am weird or stupid. i like being weird, i just dont want everyone to know it i guess. maybe i need to be more confident, maybe thats it. 

​

yet, while writing this, i am having a text conversation with my wife about buying a house. something i think would be good. not really sure. but i am sitting here having this weird mental thing happen, and i feel like if i showed her this she would think im a freaking weirdo and would probably want to leave me or think that i belong in a mental hospital. this is a rant i guess. maybe this is all i needed and i will never show this to anyone, who knows. like, why am i writing this in notepad?? no one freaking uses notepad, why didnt i use word? or google docs? who knows, maybe i am worried that google or microsoft will steal this and show it to the world. or maybe they would dub me as insane and i would be the next culprit in a government conspiracy, i dont know. i probably am a little, or a lot crazy. i just dont know what that means yet i guess.

​

i havent figured out how to channel the crazy. where can i use it as an asset? where can this make me stand out? maybe i want to famous. not really though because the limelight seems like its a little bright, and then i would be found out as a loon and that would be short lived. 

​

i notice that i have a strong desire to do nice things for people, but when it comes to helping my own wife around the house like doing dishes or cleaning around the house, i want nothing to do with it. it almost pisses me off that she even wants my help with such a menial task, when i have been 'working' all day, which really just means that i am sitting here having a mental battle with myself and i am worn out. i have done very little actual work today, which is exactly where i find myself every few months. i am in a lull...bored. why? i shouldnt be, i have plenty that i could be doing. but i weigh the potential consequences, or lack there of, and dont really care. why? no idea. but i dont. do i care about my family? sure i do, making sure they have food? of course, but do i care that i could lose my job if i didnt work for family? yes. but am i doing anything about it? no. why? no idea. 

​

​

im bored i guess. bored with my life. not sure how. i have a lot going for me. yet, for some reason i just dont care. i just talked to my mom for a few minutes and i seem totally normal to her. heck, i feel pretty normal to myself, but theres still this other part of me that cant figure it out? there is no way that feeling like this is normal. what does this mean?

​

am i just destined to struggle with who i am my whole life? or maybe, God is calling me? someone who is reading this that may not be religious will think i am a loon just for thinking that i hear voices from a God that they may not think exists. however, in the christian religion this is not something new. our entire religion is basically based on people hearing from God. 

​

all i know is i am tired of it. i am tired of feeling weird. one thing that has stuck with me is back in 2015, i lived in texas and i was about to move back to va and had just turned 21. my cousin(borderline alchoholic), uncle(alchoholic), and sister(drank often at the time) all asked if i wanted to goto the bar with them. being me, i said, 'nah i dont really drink.' my cousin immediately goes, ""yeah, you were always weird"" for some reason that stuck with me. i think because i was at this time already thiinking this way and i was afraid that i had been discovered as a weirdo. could this all boil down to me being insecure? i act confident. i feel confident most of the time. 

​

also, though i feel smart and like i have a high IQ. i am very intimidated by those that have college degrees. though, i really dont feel like i need one because of the immorality issue i mentioned prior. when i am at work functions and surrounded by people who are much more formally educated than i am, i feel stupid, or like i dont know as much as they do because when they speak they use bigger words or write more proper emails than i do. 

​

i also tend to oppose authority, at least in my head. i never outwardly show the resistance except to my father. for some reason i dont like run ins with police. i get extremely nervous and yet i act respectful to their face, in fact my neighbor is a cop and i am always nice to him and feel that he is a nice guy. i have never really done illegal things with the exception of some experimentation with weed in highschool nothing more than that. my good friend has experimented much more than i have. ive never been a bad person. i feel that i have a good heart.

​

throughout this writing, i still am worried that i didnt say enough. i didnt cover political views and views on recent experiences in my life. i will let the politics go. but i dont like to be around people. once i know someone or once someone starts a conversation with me i will start talking pretty quickly but i dont know how to start a conversation or keep a slow one going. i come off as rude or anti social most of the time. i think this is where i cant see myself in ministry. i can be blunt or sometimes just stop the conversation from continuing. by just losing interest, or not knowing what to say next to keep things going. i also text people when i need something instead of building a working friendship i just say ""hey, need you to ...... asap."" i have had people tell me that i am rude. but in my brain i just need something, take care of it and move on? i guess that is rude to other people. not really sure why? 

​

i love my children and wife. i dont want to go crazy like you see the people on tv. i want to be normal, i think? i just want to feel normal. maybe i dont. normal is boring. but how do i channel my weirdness? its like my mind is this deep abyss that just keeps getting deeper and deeper. but yet i cant focus on something long enough to channel my weirdness into it. its almost like i gain enough understanding about something to get the concept, but never really establish myself in it. maybe i got it...""3 Then he told them many things in parables, saying: A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.""   this could be it. maybe the answer is to plant myself in good soil and dig deep enough to build up a root system and maybe then i will find myself. or maybe the goal is not to find myself...maybe it is to find God. 

​

but how? how do i control my focus? how do i not feel crazy? will the desire to understand things of this world leave me? 

 

by the nature of this letter i am sure people think that i am just a confused person with severe adhd. and mybe that is it. this is just a ramble from some severely adhd person. is that what this is?

 

 

​

​

thanks for reading. 

​

	\- anonymous

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​",3.0933217081298925,4.920704194373403,4.170721537626907,86.26403084553979,74.8312020460358,7.1832700405590435,24.295202666046656,7.989655887483809,1.3007554987212282,13896,438,2800,215,297,4515,846,3519,0.098,0.738,0.163,0.9997,13,5,12,0,0,0,601.0,8,6,23,30,147,171,20,8,172,2,363,50,18,44,51,636,593,215,6,87,133,17,30,42,2,39,17,16,4,14,233,133,10,18,129,25,5,41,99,61,3,14,94,62,438,112,381,420,78,373,22,9,15,5,156,166,3,93,188,2016,671,33,0.0,0.01068952097091832,0.008804109826473361,0.019670487699296448,0.03252784788855968,0.0,0.015994806948564224,0.0,0.0722733396270976,0.028032019945053253,0.00995593266611249,0.03607420184748411,0.03753487475570993,0.3910106318733324,0.4385056752914016,0.006135227054236117,0.009460288381700491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01261669730871573,0.0,0.05197000241995285,0.032125749483636515,0.016868587872570354,0.0,0.0,0.0277492529949092,0.01506588237094654,0.06049658473866769,0.029892064324589768,0.02303101361747404,0.0,0.0,0.007979170791335876,0.0098496193757499,0.0,0.0,0.05035733138707403,0.01842481433817535,0.04127477331669493,0.0551908009797745,0.0,0.019088027773894397,0.04662960315491781,0.01891866018981351,0.03899803847857088,0.07083209246463276,0.0432196990917623,0.0,0.0,0.011636806981630684,0.009301221681646302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04713002370358227,0.0,0.0,0.015790317068250976,0.05539544808832475,0.2431938089247631,0.008838064320115026,0.02092516705870881,0.0,0.0075366713311785455,0.0,0.023972277014928718,0.04661036712555945,0.0,0.023835619218034555,0.024482577666825833,0.015202743356545163,0.008620848159150173,0.008108335923436573,0.026475558918885738,0.059535559937090025,0.0,0.11404407029618982,0.0708980155457388,0.008662475081206895,0.009883091830480596,0.0494753260149304,0.0,0.021818725909083184,0.029676267261342676,0.0069703267357728894,0.0,0.047135901143936336,0.0,0.04101900113058619,0.08323890687889343,0.021647003396197902,0.0,0.05963208952889613,0.01786627362471507,0.015956139536743852,0.0,0.008081884146432442,0.0,0.037036443895587794,0.0,0.02033675910662374,0.010691039688035477,0.030236073541105118,0.028596517755943837,0.009049739180083352,0.008960819876088598,0.0,0.041640419479585265,0.009658170971395787,0.0712926870623425,0.03898096382512711,0.01883311810300869,0.008952881121896286,0.0320764512668504,0.019962874846841318,0.018789919693854632,0.07933153680740529,0.00735408341879908,0.010177138764559166,0.02865878827797321,0.0,0.009225542617603713,0.06372461452371057,0.18512184916258875,0.05425411071942785,0.03983268167124614,0.023952393049165025,0.0,0.03027972190331615,0.0,0.03068051543405903,0.008142651071032323,0.0,0.03613328107959411,0.036587315370034616,0.16314748404733556,0.039310140382162184,0.010021339004360646,0.009088653140183046,0.02727597384794405,0.0,0.045547926376136375,0.0105663844684697,0.00720122464808175,0.01917778410731816,0.046425136332636695,0.04682756774269711,0.12524894257697694,0.008713443710712183,0.04797466581276208,0.008466477427705944,0.07955625122038093,0.017313585213120014,0.010271535940122357,0.01893401205786752,0.019216138546697462,0.07336198221313392,0.006861590212811196,0.0,0.0,0.02003558842281574,0.019539758831721484,0.0,0.0750561081231308,0.03938804031124149,0.01885200948143291,0.00990337842665908,0.008528647333985034,0.0,0.008640522482966734,0.05507132490057612,0.029181524484839457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027073137682320232,0.0,0.15605147747340656,0.037104218487711164,0.01781615025246819,0.00968618479145756,0.0,0.007704685554531041,0.017163857631054557,0.057396856185332475,0.0,0.03652273069750973,0.057514530582826864,0.03285293319642685,0.0,0.020384443359299582,0.0,0.044778240885880435,0.01014103604993294,0.018056906597015608,0.009196729389917007,0.05350981012478545,0.0625097561572824,0.04461463568955669,0.0,0.03831464390565988,0.019232370496582725,0.036024655758030086,0.022628231836378583,0.0,0.018863376445075818,0.0,0.01973707118583501,0.0,0.08503069571335056,0.0,0.02035012321119664,0.014502983657865457,0.007885571262824204,0.008306188156560883,0.0,0.0,0.07192529477041265,0.16186501600134967,0.062048056316546224,0.0644616974120128,0.06312917354495083,0.02073878055570909,0.03420696836714168,0.025862544477450518,0.0,0.006125303525496425,0.019626555142893184,0.0,0.08452939848261998,0.010852280286934244,0.04675234516049742,0.019872779672251557,0.052108304557358535,0.09578470757286056,0.06445074833635757,0.007236854278543759,0.0,0.024335416620186408,0.025090280079550973,0.06512716446730524,0.01007267132036452,0.010374783181189931,0.01739365210977282,0.009783906653823284,0.039408468853137715,0.018324431467117864,0.0,0.14099636616475136,0.009864072656271409,0.4385056752914016,0.034858992740956905
mentalhealth,PLPHSAO,2019/02/06,"Mental health discussion youtube channel Hey guys,

Be kind but honest please.

So I had an idea that I wanted to get some feedback on. I'm interested in starting a youtube channel where I talk about various mental health issues relating to stuff like self harm, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, relationship problems specifically involving mental illness, stuff like that. Obviously wouldn't be doing this for profit or for the hopes of turning into a youtube star or anything, I kind of just want to provide validation and potentially insight for people with similar mental health issues as me. Idk about other people but I have found very few videos discussing the topic that weren't condescending or pandering or felt like a cash grab.

I was wondering if this sounds remotely like something anyone would be interested in? If even a couple people thing it might be cool I'll give it a try, I'm doing it for myself as well to get my thoughts out of my brain, so any interest at all will be reason enough to give it a go.",7.8813071253071225,8.533777572972976,7.80800982800983,69.03805896805899,62.45945945945946,10.835380835380835,36.27764127764128,10.637119530657019,4.097324324324325,821,36,133,19,11,264,118,185,0.098,0.66,0.241,0.9843,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,8,16,0,0,9,1,15,5,1,1,2,31,32,13,1,8,9,0,2,4,0,4,4,1,0,2,13,4,0,0,8,3,2,1,2,2,1,0,7,4,10,14,23,16,5,9,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,10,5,90,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428747891114869,0.0,0.08356890049051778,0.0,0.0,0.07638369590595881,0.0,0.08989585702965555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194884265468348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087284932079005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287493141725335,0.0,0.07215250732942828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488828355084087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977688078207525,0.0,0.0,0.11414760142480615,0.20958742761891536,0.06208405480569872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081655506294937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34835353408617103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850074686509144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331954791204205,0.0,0.2280379929773642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22751493150292185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21347811571387434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4403560648688379,0.11588720827952954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272014140658481,0.0,0.0,0.11991357606098595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452867666726763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231771962364992,0.0,0.1172837194229128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139619618812948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409889227904481,0.0,0.0,0.07732118892988182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501091233117921,0.11949168682137015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780360393414627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725747225978915,0.0,0.0,0.17344995981545452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416732134803697,0.1188226033353958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901350871353356,0.12886608906106498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982205837961011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846696997345915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760151843695473,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Maneaaa,2019/02/06,"Medical trauma/ptsd? Is there a name for like... trauma/ptsd following really bad experiences trying to get medical treatment? Cos after 7 years of trying to get help with my mental health struggles and trying to get taken seriously, I think I have that...

I had a panic attack after an asthma review yesterday. It seemed so bizarre until I put it into the context of years of being dismissed and gaslit by medical professionals. 

So yeah, wondering if there’s a name for it so I can do some research.",4.005785024154587,6.677623467391302,5.840144927536238,71.39857487922707,75.19565217391305,8.43671497584541,26.52657004830918,9.150863307647796,2.8839381642512083,397,15,61,10,9,136,64,92,0.187,0.758,0.055,-0.9109,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,2,5,1,6,5,0,1,0,12,14,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,2,0,6,1,14,11,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,7,44,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19243210082380166,0.0,0.0,0.14123285912625086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16546077603307435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26512106979760786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979812584156046,0.0,0.0,0.1133774181908356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263795546289991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5112013104802373,0.17046302266047136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19846062224064406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954536850320233,0.17004207767862664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108361571612204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398745230358427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683189889033055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083842402490244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445244461447152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343553681376545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21785360635146814
mentalhealth,exwasadickthrowaway,2019/02/06,"How do I tell a therapist I think I have ADHD ? I really really think I have ADHD, but I don't know how to bring it up without a doctor thinking I just want drugs or something (well I do but just to be able to function ""normally""). 

The last time I brought it up with a therapist I felt dismissed. He thought it was because of my anxiety even though my anxiety is very recent, while my ADHD symptoms have been around forever. I've had issues with anxiety and depression for a while, but I'm realizing that it may stem from inability to plan and focus. 

Plus I'm college aged and I've doctors are more vary to diagnose college students with ADHD. ",3.626015625000001,5.177412070312503,5.534812500000001,78.17893750000003,72.828125,9.1825,31.55,9.642632912329526,3.2097693749999987,507,24,96,13,10,175,78,128,0.124,0.8640000000000001,0.012,-0.9231,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,5,0,13,5,0,2,0,27,24,13,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,7,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,6,1,13,1,16,16,1,11,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,2,6,69,18,5,0.127968911885775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6151750558330511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29368760197890936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391946256317745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800866092107096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021943629253456,0.12988575183962836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619632076443593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840331034686116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452225939700239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287022361556454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356629664166458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032836729625415,0.10431174297005484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538236327540495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396032357058274,0.0,0.12635386220264153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851672036504283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300869787055702,0.0,0.0,0.1118504694462784,0.0,0.0,0.2971635398048134,0.0,0.2459919347346439,0.12572880619411986,0.10159302177113724,0.07461970161932434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558775429439557,0.07547937979041022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150594202338006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233574644766172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wherethewildbeansgo,2019/02/06,"Should I tell my psychologist/psychiatrist that I smoke weed to deal with my symptoms. To preface this, I have borderline personality disorder (BPD), OCD tendencies, and also PMDD. I have made huge strides in correcting my behavior and I’m in a place now where people can’t even tell I have issues. I’m sorry if you’ve been hurt by someone with BPD in the past, but please don’t take it out on me here. We’re not all the devil incarnate when we get the right help. 

So usually I just lie completely to my therapists, especially because I’m very paranoid and fearful of authority. I never tell them that I drink alcohol once a week (I once got labeled as an alcoholic because I only drink on Friday OR Saturday nights but I have 3-4 drinks in one night. Now I just say I don’t drink at all. I don’t even like drinking, sometimes my friends will want to check out a new brewery and we’ll sit there for a few hours. Being an “alcoholic” was on my permanent record for years and I would be refused medications like antibiotics until I met a new doctor who thought that was ridiculous and took it off my record.) 

Usually talk therapy is enough for me, but lately I’ve been extra depressed and angry and I think I might need to turn to medication in order to keep my life from flying off the rails. I am barely holding it together right now and have barely been holding it together for the last few months. 

I smoke weed only before I go to bed. My brain feels like it’s full of bees and my heart feels like it’s full of moths. Negative thoughts are buzzing through my brain and my heart feel so heavy and flustered all the time. I can’t force myself to be happy doing things I used to enjoy. Weed dulls the sensation of constant agitation and irritability. I can smile and laugh again while I’m high. I enjoy reading and watching my boyfriend play video games again. Then I fall asleep blissfully, only to feel terrible again upon waking. 

Recreational marijuana was legalized in my state, but it is not federally legal, so I know it’s still possible to be marked as a  drug abuser for smoking weed and be barred from accessing psychiatric drugs. To complicate things, I work for the federal government and possess a security clearance, which makes it extra bad for me to be caught. I can never have a medical marijuana card (even though my state doesn’t consider mental health issues as qualifiers for them anyway). Because of my job, it is also very important that I avoid an actual diagnoses of BPD, which is grounds for my clearance being taken away. I actually have a good reason to be paranoid about that. The therapist I’m seeing now doesn’t believe in diagnoses, so I am safe with her. I can’t stay with her because she also doesn’t believe in medication and I think I really need that as the next step in my treatment. 

I just wish I could be honest with my doctors. My current plan was to go to a new doctor for depression and anxiety and not mention the BPD or the weed, and see what happens. But I’m going to be extra miserable without being able to smoke at the end of the day to wind down, and I also feel bad about lying about what kind of treatment I need. I don’t know if it’s my paranoia and fear talking, but I feel like doctors don’t really want to help me and I’ll just be screwing myself over for life if I’m honest. I’m not dangerous or reckless or a threat to national security. I’m just very sad and I need help. ",5.442876958111931,6.075251020771514,6.402251742460837,77.07947105099717,67.72403560830861,9.949292664412395,31.698157477054725,9.988822585752894,3.0763117521220065,2724,108,521,62,43,907,306,674,0.141,0.716,0.142,-0.0287,2,1,13,0,1,0,59.0,2,0,2,2,33,35,4,4,28,0,53,32,6,4,6,95,99,55,0,13,23,0,6,5,1,5,19,1,1,1,25,33,9,8,13,10,1,7,19,17,0,1,15,10,76,18,81,66,11,79,1,6,3,1,24,32,1,8,40,351,101,11,0.05625721773545921,0.06665560376819812,0.10979785861717488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18036557054038616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17995550679149513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043036617584849966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285550793682831,0.0,0.09394485388710758,0.13717551108367682,0.0,0.04787074875300182,0.12676523921710653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28341598544217084,0.12560332074346614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898462245727086,0.060794066629284375,0.0,0.04491681067029411,0.0,0.0,0.03628125139586778,0.05799872123911722,0.09690851840208473,0.1141997835927218,0.0,0.0,0.06447564542160954,0.2303265846986737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755532801713692,0.13048102417715945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04982719688673758,0.058128744422953016,0.0,0.11147208521944203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266100207798407,0.17067203776385456,0.12057050277280702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04346418687035341,0.0,0.029392074335743257,0.0,0.09591681986145882,0.0471858851308862,0.044994036217691234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04974807185115187,0.059886854378109436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979879174669218,0.0,0.13333014776892352,0.1131240815904697,0.05943883927309679,0.0,0.0,0.05540202731588191,0.0,0.06022451512526154,0.0,0.0,0.1174358384635811,0.05582660797134235,0.05000399998629261,0.0,0.058583235177574126,0.06183499122812373,0.045857141005228384,0.0634605919975241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947227322027903,0.13742217461857742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323193966391022,0.037552129682874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266929132359751,0.0566940436385181,0.05968001776292214,0.0,0.0,0.04490397447127912,0.0,0.0,0.1668560564729017,0.08677806893009876,0.16300071434945704,0.05983018928588104,0.1055871757525687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982420170259768,0.03812134668578575,0.128358447405412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05370387996536805,0.039001671333458665,0.04912163258455876,0.058776818795124836,0.06175353134811237,0.0,0.06342156019444012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627244173753911,0.0,0.07207962845944893,0.05784178945843485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960867131237335,0.0,0.04473799754261933,0.0,0.0,0.08965943777725421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04766655802568275,0.0,0.055639826833701896,0.06297534940859267,0.0,0.05996270884500037,0.0449270867539484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847278973109414,0.042298426439933166,0.09043484126045777,0.14751386381410828,0.0,0.064335031345639,0.1306379316310926,0.07474959140156265,0.07209470711598172,0.055272430791592934,0.08932389377950835,0.032804036070107165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250383887558347,0.0,0.061191698229438624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485881734509012,0.12391875475150545,0.13925428909265292,0.06636392918925085,0.0,0.04512614668432256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469302401742268,0.054229950353486205,0.0,0.040955924531643775,0.0,0.0,0.039963513380840136,0.0,0.0,0.03622780375630038
mentalhealth,An_intr0vert,2019/02/06,Free online therapy? Im always sad and I think my life is pointless I really want to die but i love my mom too much and she would suffer . I think im depressed but i cant afford therapy and people any advice?,-1.1550476190476182,0.8948571777777801,2.38825396825397,89.39000000000001,99.44444444444444,5.238095238095238,15.317460317460318,6.868970318607317,0.17207936507936505,163,4,34,3,7,59,32,45,0.266,0.561,0.173,-0.7136,1,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,9,7,5,1,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,8,3,1,6,1,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,19,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216150349728594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840529436823639,0.0,0.0,0.15042098939201298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19051594805746006,0.0,0.22956671529310485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4778596695929409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562374054056041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19963819098315608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259062295819385,0.0,0.0,0.16260464546045758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334958190341075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141703938704381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5059142247646685,0.0,0.0,0.2834671647571221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046723956556008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571314217779634,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EnergizedPsychology,2019/02/06,"[Moderator Approved] Research Opportunity (18+) Stressful Life Events Researchers at Western Michigan University are seeking participants who are at least 18 years old to participate in a study about reactions to stressful experiences. Your participation is voluntary and you may stop at any time during the survey. All survey responses are anonymous and confidential. Following completion of the survey, you will be given the option to provide an email address to be entered into a drawing for one of eight Visa e-gift cards, two for $50 and six for $25. 

Your email address will be stored separately from your responses to the survey study. The survey will take approximately 15-40 minutes to complete. 

If you are interested in learning more about participation, please click or paste the following link into your address bar: [https://wmichcas.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_3PMEz8X4kKH05E1](https://wmichcas.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3PMEz8X4kKH05E1) 

Contact information for the student investigator is included in the informed consent page via the above link. If possible, please consider sharing the above link with others who may be potentially interested in participating. Thank you for your time. 

​

**Who will have access to the information collected during this study?**

Collected data will be kept anonymous and confidential. Only approved researchers at Western

Michigan University will have access to the data. All electronic data will be stored in a

password-protected database that is stored in a locked area in the principal investigator’s

research lab. Data will be stored for at least three years.

​

**What if you want to stop participating in this study?**

Participation is voluntary. You may withdraw from participation at any time and for any

reason. You will not suffer any penalty for doing so. If you decide to discontinue, you may

simply exit the current browser window.

​

If you have any questions prior to or during the study, you may contact the student investigator

at (269) 387-4485, Western Michigan University Department of Psychology at (269) 387-4500,

the Human Subjects Institutional Review Board at (269) 387-8293, or the Vice President for

Research at (269) 387-8298.

​

Thanks again to www.reddit.com/r/mentalheath, moderated by the South Asian Mental Health Alliance (SAMHAA), for approving the dissemination of this study. ",9.518569299552905,13.24412942622951,8.305399900645806,55.27116989567813,62.114754098360656,10.119423745653254,38.140089418777954,10.300263719432786,5.128334426229508,1974,99,236,52,33,607,175,366,0.029,0.883,0.08800000000000001,0.9596,1,0,0,0,0,0,106.0,0,16,0,4,4,9,0,2,25,0,33,3,0,1,2,39,41,14,0,6,9,0,0,0,0,14,2,0,4,1,9,8,1,3,10,1,5,4,1,3,0,5,2,1,16,6,52,18,6,40,0,1,1,0,29,23,0,15,13,161,25,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040332362255002,0.4531101014885643,0.31697803584331663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19548745937980225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119109029190113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909289392342087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584696203753859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394799942044367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782304549906788,0.0,0.06317108511747611,0.07090115391628056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899298339048325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046642065009162,0.0,0.10509620266956557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443236420121343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958499350860644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587909882161732,0.2135758585475781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009294605976339,0.0,0.0,0.17165651304747034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307922476050762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106643185407204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498600894269421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4531101014885643,0.1200665702380236
mentalhealth,MayewPnP,2019/02/06,"The One Truth i will never conceal. God is here. God exists. He loves us all and wants to save EVERYONE! WAKE UP everybody. There may be noise and distractions around but there is only ONe LOve° °evOL eNO. I know you can feel it. You are stronger than this, God made you capable of enduring so much more. I Love you. Just as Yah'O'Weh has, is, and will. This message will resonate. All will feel this one truth. He will forgive you of you choose to do what's right, for all creation, the Golden Rule",0.5175324675324653,3.0000082929292944,1.2325036075036095,98.82113636363636,92.33333333333331,4.848773448773449,19.19264069264069,6.5431188927421005,0.04916103896103863,387,12,85,5,14,118,67,99,0.057,0.698,0.245,0.9737,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,6,0,0,6,7,0,1,2,0,14,3,1,1,6,21,21,6,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,2,10,6,9,13,5,4,0,0,0,2,13,3,0,1,1,58,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093941922383413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156859528770016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22826249591877976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405028044819487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6111656612359379,0.21358253354473128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593080240720834,0.0,0.1740898409416363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4588628852542407,0.17167088388291268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276437941699154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715143999017439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133136010276111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Strongwings170,2019/02/06,"I’m not really sure what’s going on, feeling less emotion than usual Hey there, I’m 13 and somethings been up. I’ve not been feeling as happy, or excited, or anything of the sort when I do things I like, things I would laugh at, etc. I’m not sad all of the time, just neutral. I do occasionally feel somewhat happy or chuckle, but I don’t feel the full emotions I used to. I do however feel sadness like usual and so feel the full effects of sadness when I am sad, but I’m not more sad than usual. I have ADHD and possible Anxiety. Any advice would be appreciated.",3.685517241379313,4.461577034482762,5.73051724137931,79.80370689655173,71.75862068965517,8.213793103448278,30.017241379310345,8.472884824447931,2.2207793103448275,440,18,89,7,8,154,67,116,0.091,0.6629999999999999,0.246,0.9379,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,13,0,0,4,0,11,0,0,2,2,27,23,12,0,2,10,0,6,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,2,6,9,8,10,18,7,12,0,5,0,0,1,5,0,5,8,61,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037596895889546,0.14666373573787014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206462430118717,0.0,0.11481650147300852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235091970874255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376563983833489,0.0,0.0,0.1673871995722883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553323977350225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529816628205687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195417990441043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466503103633527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920106802372945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614987459076674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155446647324378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145566146666835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19942288806371167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751720899855221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962738248649094,0.4959004222186437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21323566072130587,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PatrickBatemanX,2019/02/06,"Unsure what or why i'm feeling the way i do & I'm tired of feeling like this I'm a 21 year old male fully employed i have a good job with good pay. I do have a lot of outgoings however still have enough money to get me through the month. I'm in a relationship. I have a strangely organised family by that i mean my mum and dad are separated however it feels like my sisters the head of the family and theres more to that which id prefer not to write but doesnt really effect me. 

​

Recently i've been feeling really unstable and i feel like i have no one to vent it out too i also feel like because im a guy i dont want to cry to my girlfriend but thats how i feel like i could burst into tears any second. If i do cry i feel like she wouldnt care to much anyway. I don't know why this is but i'm not happy at the minute with anything at all, i genuinely can;t remember the last time i felt happy waking up and going to sleep. As soon as i wake up i'm in a horrific mood and just feel like crying and then throughout the day i feel really anxious up on going to sleep. Sometimes my anxiety gets so bad i take painkillers just to take the edge off of it this is only when it gets so bad that i lose my appetite. I don't know why this is iknow a bit of it is due to my girlfriend because i have trust issues but i dont know why i have trust issues maybe because if i lose her for whatever reason i'd feel like id have no one. Last year i went through a huge sudden change in my life and this was a huge change, my house was broken in to which i had lived in my whole life, everything was stolen everything i had bought, shoes, clothes, tv etc... This wasn't an issue to me but my sister and brother persuaded my mum to move house. To me this was a huge thing i didnt want to move but i didnt have a choice and now i live about 30 miles from where i previously lived not an issue because i drive but it was more it was so sudden and now i feel unsettled because wherever i am i dont feel like im at home. I stay with my mum and my girlfriend throughout the week. I'm just in such a bad place emotionally at the moment and i dont know what to do or get out of this state. ",1.7475489864864888,2.755231814583336,3.776959459459462,91.08993243243245,76.6875,7.272522522522522,22.55630630630631,7.824948511530503,0.7721644144144149,1701,46,407,25,37,582,201,480,0.165,0.7170000000000001,0.119,-0.9799,5,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,19,22,0,0,25,0,40,9,6,3,1,67,79,32,0,7,17,7,14,9,3,1,3,0,1,2,24,18,0,0,23,1,3,6,16,5,0,3,15,14,57,16,52,62,9,53,0,2,0,0,16,24,0,6,29,256,81,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0461290323456532,0.0,0.12499889922330452,0.07009109503236415,0.03922638239223057,0.0,0.0441272970194625,0.06516531197590761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746815095906223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444885554523367,0.17581494727866515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297483901338584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058811609432648765,0.0,0.1220418201238886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605513994465884,0.0,0.1900860280277981,0.03720072920291111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704159398906909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488555212373683,0.0,0.059601904481987975,0.06433173435892246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103683427747886,0.0,0.10875669866973428,0.0,0.3791610092272474,0.37087838354061453,0.055384675578383724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054783735495415,0.0,0.06556509683634064,0.09676343937539547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057115187011978916,0.0,0.12280914063443565,0.0,0.0,0.05919934575581921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578606996105867,0.0,0.0,0.13311675371095694,0.0,0.0,0.12461496367655828,0.24082404312537364,0.05724142485602135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680415781930862,0.09403860224895694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814863435373148,0.2536287706183586,0.0,0.1528052985617339,0.0,0.0,0.12906492724826735,0.0,0.04903997927738367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057950273967017386,0.06283364025860606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04604197843712589,0.12261568906563775,0.04240360356201504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060528550177144924,0.0,0.07817491626376076,0.043870480933656426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06026640303964401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108595198430146,0.05930767720156713,0.05695495182026041,0.06192989846874209,0.06534353499832099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154492110452976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704991011344095,0.0,0.0,0.0614823471681553,0.04606567645568263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674079570918138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038321987263020565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03363539061239694,0.06629806274774364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804579400179316,0.0457860388749551,0.04626978117313575,0.0,0.0,0.05347267031457199,0.20819955275757,0.0644009510049123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009109503236415,0.07429185407357979
mentalhealth,ccfc1984,2019/02/06,"Advice for a suicidal father? I hate my job. I hate what I do and who I work for. I’ve been applying and attending interviews on a sporadic basis for around four years without success and I’ve felt hopeless - on and off - throughout this period. I wouldn’t say I’ve felt positive or hopeful at other times, just accepting. 

I’ve applied and attended interviews in bouts. Generally the pattern is straightforward: I apply, apply and apply, begin to feel down due a lack of progress and, due to this, give up and slip into depression. Alternatively, I’ve been invited to an interview, failed and become severely depressed.

Recently, I’ve started applying again. This coincides with the birth of my second child who is now seven-weeks-old. I’ve been to one interview and failed. I’m also starting to find that initial successes (being called by recruitment companies etc.) are starting to die off already. 

I can feel depression beginning to rear up. It began following the failed interview mentioned above (my tenth in the last four years).

Does anyone have any advice for dealing with the rejection of failed applications and interviews? Also, how do you deal with a job that you despise? I’m told not to take things personally but, if I’m honest, don’t understand. Not getting jobs affects me personally, after all.

I’m a 34-year-old male and feel like a complete failure. I can’t kill myself because of my daughters but I really am tired of everything right now and am really starting to struggle.

What would you do?",4.828254545454545,7.423550225454547,5.820727272727275,72.92309090909094,72.2,9.636363636363637,32.81818181818181,9.98439552973466,4.032163636363635,1212,60,193,36,25,399,156,275,0.195,0.742,0.063,-0.9876,3,0,0,0,0,2,45.0,0,3,0,8,8,20,4,1,12,0,18,1,0,2,1,42,43,20,3,5,8,2,5,1,0,2,1,1,0,4,12,18,0,0,8,0,0,3,6,14,0,5,7,6,18,6,36,33,3,36,0,9,0,0,24,13,0,3,21,130,30,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105849951640662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890530649190613,0.17233599988983772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327400432954448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534162346812223,0.0,0.0,0.09592074938483804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568367727250407,0.11900191203881062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002526179160343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297430204318445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22217197562409066,0.2784159270438392,0.0,0.11182796070080524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429314929958693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017023988621607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683916117645076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344560278085418,0.0769769465910158,0.20691466868097988,0.0,0.09848196381801788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629516550839048,0.10336405477654287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21276253335993744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702051425194324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207771012980403,0.0,0.11920991391407686,0.0,0.0,0.08783100209744521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264142963375587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22613195391781146,0.0,0.0730144969206636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881670823775258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805540117913415,0.0,0.10639057521382224,0.0,0.0,0.09201829984282098,0.0,0.08568748661311637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172734421730726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30506530658767145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264417071182113,0.0,0.11786150917795715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101493246037351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158461447068055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283015682442457,0.12384329730545765,0.0,0.10296017730945488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217202369267243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386759354880708,0.0,0.07844361455136242,0.0,0.0,0.07654283172982056,0.0,0.0,0.2081632808732668
mentalhealth,ddftgr2a,2019/02/06,"Exhausted This post is gonna be a rant on my mental health.

I’m so tired of everything. To provide some context, I’m a freshman in college currently and I’ve had mental and physical health problems since I was really young. 

I’m really trying here. I’ve made appointments to go to my doctor, dealt with rude receptionists, rescheduling appointments, and being in the hospital on CHRISTMAS. My mental health is just down the drain right now. I’ve been waiting for a doctor appointment for like two months, and then my physical pain got so bad that I landed in the hospital on Christmas. They gave me medication that actually helped my stomach go back to normal. Now, I was supposed to have an appointment yesterday but it was cancelled so we had to reschedule for next week. But I’m already out of my medicine for my stomach. I need to talk to my doctor about getting anxiety medication and some study abroad stuff, too. I’m so frustrated about all of this. I still have to find a psychiatrist as well, so that’s just another thing on my plate.",5.1003722504230105,6.868568512690357,5.824385786802032,76.69654483925551,69.45685279187816,9.720338409475467,31.91505922165821,10.047579312681364,3.44454815566836,835,37,149,22,15,272,112,197,0.127,0.85,0.023,-0.9546,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,1,0,16,8,2,0,8,0,12,13,2,1,1,21,26,14,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,1,11,0,0,0,8,8,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,1,9,0,17,2,29,14,3,25,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,2,12,100,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.12609451289629028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259118805933693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549245509886956,0.0988485822840396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935781721814904,0.10788853935039328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967689197733921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612947689394892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809952505512175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750913620818776,0.0,0.14687092360834078,0.0,0.1033444759590303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4120462609408148,0.0,0.0,0.08660961846699873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312757785229864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226569055137335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603396171067035,0.3906528546232538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313761778916344,0.0,0.0,0.0958107627494994,0.0,0.0,0.13742086903170114,0.0,0.12660257467136374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749312056037113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375157683551548,0.0,0.0,0.12364062989866142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655559726720953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103483022322581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068874003949048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031907031965076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791945395093414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385755606901256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584423626912525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485128243386928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772802470806823,0.0,0.12622359100640174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036479136607884,0.0,0.11617916955191893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lovelies0705,2019/02/06,"Ways to energise and motivate myself when taking any-depressants? I’ve recently (about 5 weeks ago) been diagnosed as depressed and since then have been taking anti-depressants prescribed by my doctor. 

I feel so drained and tired all of the time, which I understand is a side effect of the medication, but I wanted to see if anyone has any tips that help give them energy and just general motivation throughout the day whilst dealing with conflicting emotions. 

Any advice will be appreciated, thank you ",9.412413793103447,10.140835758620694,8.963816091954024,61.78779310344829,59.229885057471286,12.937011494252875,38.089655172413785,12.340626583579946,5.3539351724137925,409,18,60,13,5,131,72,87,0.1,0.688,0.212,0.9,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,3,4,2,0,0,4,0,7,4,0,3,1,17,15,10,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,7,1,8,11,1,10,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,1,8,39,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18471387847041032,0.16756001589550276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25708812767448946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217127336362902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190603919667595,0.19487735711172802,0.4884230775524674,0.19185726455526625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934759730028976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21262864545878946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955771522248113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133082499375647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670004657030126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904236630720304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664022823784127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062913371933398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636414116029265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842478378312769,0.0,0.0,0.17402961148828525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022249655443578,0.21725741428094528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19678258212087327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114923471728936,0.15003992581183126,0.15162513956507362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,killerjack98,2019/02/06,"Munchausen, but they're actually sick? Hello all! 

An aunt of mine has multiple phycsical illnesses, COPD being one of the biggest and more problematic. Now my question is, Munchausen Syndrome is defined as a person repeatedly acting as though they have a physical or mental disorder for attention.. My aunt is actually sick, but seems to refuse to take necessary steps to get better (i.e. following doctor's orders, taking medicine), is there a more appropriate diagnosis than Munchausen's for her? Because she's not really making herself sick, and she's not really ""faking"" it either. 

Thanks in advance! ",8.436008403361344,10.357393833333337,8.834033613445381,57.680294117647094,61.647058823529434,12.103081232492995,39.0812324929972,11.765960540728905,5.7237938375350135,489,25,64,16,7,162,75,102,0.24,0.6970000000000001,0.063,-0.9736,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,3,3,0,0,5,0,7,5,0,1,1,14,14,8,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,0,8,2,11,13,4,9,0,0,0,0,11,2,0,3,2,47,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.4590127935448233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336644480470806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20800180525289025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695421066795663,0.24072156415817186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228743285054948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698765136570006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370109187520865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936727779858625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20535425808927205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26346075211257763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013307548392321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21410336961734994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536593359336593,0.0,0.0,0.21652652594062194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310678294020337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vhfvbbjjjvgt,2019/02/06,"What to look for in life when it has no fascination? Suffering from depression and something much worse. So, [23M] writing here for the first time. 
I’ve been through something that has scarred me probably forever. Making relationships or even having a small interesting conversation with someone I like is almost impossible. I’ve been detached from social life completely for a few years now and it has become a habit, to a point where I don’t know what to talk or how to behave around people. I’ve tried anti depressants, anti anxiety and a few mood enhancing drugs too but none have helped. Meditation, hobbies, responsibilities, a job and anything that would keep my mind off, but not one thing helped.

I’m looking into the future and I don’t see any difference in my lifestyle, neither any happiness nor anything to live for. Everyday kinda repeats over and over again and the mere thought of that kills me.
I see people being normal doing normal things like I did several years ago and I don’t even understand what’s going on or how they are able to it or what part of me broke or how I couldn’t see when parts of me were being ripped apart over the years. I walk away when people approach me, most just talk out of sympathy and that makes me feel worse. 

I end up trusting the same person who watched everything happen and I for some reason I end up trying to stick to this same person who mocks me for what I am today.
This person shattered me to a point where I’m beyond repair, and I can’t help but dwell on these horrible memories while this person’s voice repeats endlessly. This just makes want to kill every damn person from my past, 
I’ve been thinking about this for a few years and came to a conclusion that the only way to get rid of all this is to leave this damn place, my family, to a completely isolated place where I can grow my own food and live like a tribe or something. Idea here is that I own my freedom and a calm peaceful life with nothing to worry about. Moreover, my family wouldn’t see me suffer, when they realise. ( They see me as a leech who feeds on them. I’m just lazy and pretending. )
On the other side I just want to end myself because nothing seems to make sense other than the fact that no matter how much I achieve, I’d still look for something that I’ve lost and end up being unhappy. A lot of struggle and I don’t know if I can go any longer.

( I’ve been learning a few technical courses to get a job hoping that would stimulate me. But I know after a couple of months I’d be counting days, hours and minutes eventually. 
Also this whole psycho thing has drastically reduced my overall cognition, simple math has become so damn confusing which just adds on to more negative thoughts. )

That being said, I need plenty of advice that would help me and also others who feel the same. 
",7.000249847653872,6.687107138939671,7.074564899451556,76.8170149299208,64.44789762340037,10.14525289457648,32.127300426569164,9.642632912329526,2.8265566605728214,2243,76,423,39,30,721,265,547,0.162,0.743,0.095,-0.9918,2,0,5,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,4,4,32,24,6,3,26,0,36,6,0,10,2,92,74,45,2,12,17,0,2,3,0,4,4,2,0,5,39,26,2,1,14,1,0,6,14,15,0,2,11,13,46,8,65,53,21,65,0,6,9,0,24,29,3,15,32,299,85,5,0.06626894502142139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475724610698555,0.05874342132214869,0.0,0.06635877590967806,0.0,0.0,0.1059905027826406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519546522056242,0.0,0.0506955615553084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090673905451516,0.05899341090129453,0.0,0.0,0.06226185528789883,0.0,0.0,0.040396933798948716,0.14637768657914488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579401885611496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896345607103894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332532721072378,0.0,0.0427379872457801,0.0,0.11415469048422774,0.0,0.0,0.06923694292142513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768509372272492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347784624960212,0.0,0.0,0.08754002637868638,0.0,0.055834444336709886,0.0,0.05955825473901132,0.0,0.12494492716224835,0.0,0.06701513952367585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05636833078171478,0.08013267136711569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924557724770677,0.0,0.07532433724822217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586014092258911,0.0705445242413286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776747078337996,0.0,0.0,0.06582001509186182,0.06526156198366953,0.0,0.0,0.07480957264547344,0.0,0.0,0.13152340493559364,0.05890288320913764,0.14663353821029906,0.0,0.10925903730341552,0.0,0.0,0.07016924429739607,0.0,0.0,0.14042314702249808,0.09712697749127328,0.0,0.11703338511453977,0.0,0.1669476706731103,0.0,0.07234038174186205,0.05633948725731251,0.0,0.0,0.17694014155436086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691274331894997,0.0,0.05289523967348428,0.0,0.0974305991865718,0.049137583042630564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298589917834148,0.12717368006276925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044905552200292416,0.05040051888182144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435256191933003,0.06326120651037452,0.1378276273185529,0.2893174334016871,0.13847388584285025,0.0,0.1252911461224671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144913108977953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681355125592288,0.0,0.07114804649265953,0.0,0.0,0.06303694215108496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640388465641879,0.060328758659989476,0.0,0.07486504516894471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067552844004307,0.056149462065795464,0.20406828594086013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292246509719315,0.0,0.0,0.06927868986695418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652893557039196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207842732973274,0.0424624641470058,0.0,0.1052202800680364,0.0386419547627298,0.0,0.0628152112559506,0.0,0.0,0.08998452732349575,0.0,0.0,0.06898830886716954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817428148559094,0.05260120399251463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398691051595482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729933044039464,0.13506743298237994,0.14122667158289653,0.0,0.0,0.17070011152434866
mentalhealth,PolishedBadger,2019/02/06,"Are psychostimulants an often overlooked or dismissed miracle for treatment-resistant depression and anxiety? tl;dr - My mental health sucked. I was stagnent on anti-depressants and it caused a lot of damage in my life. Based on self-analysis and some research, I worked with my doctor to get a stimulant added to my care plan and found amazing results.

Since this post does relate to controlled substances and mental health, I was to make it very clear that I am not advocating (a) obtaining stimulants without a valid prescription from your doctor or (b) taking stimulants without first talking to your doctor. Possessing a prescription drug, especially scheduled drugs like these, without a prescription if very illegal and taking medication without your doctors guidance and authorization can have dangerous or deadly results. Now that the PSA is out of the way, away we go:

I’ve been getting treatment for depression and anxiety for years. The first couple of years were horrible, changing up the medication left and right with nothing but horrible side effects and in most cases, intensified symptoms. I finally talked with my doctor after doing some research on my own and started a combination of tricyclic anti-depressant and a beta blocker (for anxiety and high BP). This was the best I had felt in as long as I could remember, my depression and anxiety weren’t gone but I didn’t feel so down that I want to die and my anxiety is in check enough to stop me from feeling like I’m absolutely insane. Years passed by and my personal life was falling apart and I couldn’t figure out why. My wife left me, friends stopped calling, I hurt or offended almost anyone I interacted with, but I never felt like that’s what I was doing and if someone pointed out what I was doing wrong, I thought they were just being too sensitive.

My wife leaving me was like a bucket of ice water being dumped on me in my sleep, the reality check that I had so desperately needed for far too long. I finally sat down and decided to pick apart every details I could come up with about how I’ve been acting. I was being more cognizant of what I was thinking and how it influenced how I was speaking/acting. I wrote down a list of what I was doing wrong, then boiled that list down to why I was doing those wrong things, what “symptoms” were causing me to do this? I then turned to Dr. Internet and searched for stories of people with like symptoms and found information I wasn’t expecting. I found tons of anecdotal accounts of how psychostimulants (such as and most frequently referenced, amphetamine salts) had improved their lives by leaps in bound when added to their pre-existing medication regimen. I thought surely must just be stories by people who are hyping it up to justify getting a pill that is known to be abused for academic and occupational advantages. So I then adjusted my search query to focus on real data from accredited and trusted institutions. I found an [NIH study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181580/) that covered almost every question/concern that I had, one if the biggest being risk of dependency (I have a family and first-hand history of problems with addiction). They found that patients were randomly cutoff from their stimulants and monitored for withdrawal symptoms but never showed any (they did note than the patient was clearly without the therapeutic/beneficial effects of the stimulant, but no withdrawal). What really caught my eye was the note near the end that said patients 

I took all of this information to my doctor ready for a tough talk and worries that I’ll be viewed as a drug seeker. She was very receptive, I didn’t even use most of the information I had available. Her main concern was what affect it will have on my already difficult-to-control anxiety. I asked if her concern was so great that it outweighed the possible benefits and she responded with a quick and simple “no.” I let her know that I would be more comfortable with the extended release so that I’m not getting a flood of amphetamines that probably *would have* had negative effects on my anxiety. She concurred and we discussed the best dosage to start on and that was that, quick and easy. I picked up my prescription on my way home and started taking it the next day. I will note: I have been seeing this doctor for years and she knows me and my mental health very intimately, which I’m sure made that discussion a lot easier than if a new patient came in asking for a controlled substance.

What is this feeling? Is that actual happiness? When I see my wife, is this what love actually feels like? I want to get off the couch and actually go out and have a social life - that’s different. And the biggest shocker... where did my anxiety go? Wow, I’m not stuffing my face all day long and drinking myself to sleep every night. My weight is gradually working back to my normal weight from before I started the anti-depressants. I feel empathy and actually care how the people around me feel. I don’t get jittery/tweaked out. I can skip doses as needed to prevent tolerance without any bad side effects other than maybe being a little sleepy or distracted. It feels like the medication I was on was doing 50% of the job and the stimulant brought that up to 100%. I am absolutely amazed with the results.

I finally could see that all of those years that I was “doing okay” I was just not aware of or capable of feeling much of anything. No pain is good right? No. I feel like I’m the me that I had long forgotten ever existed. Unfortunately, the damage I had done to those I love was severe and dragged on for years. While most have forgiven me and embraced the new me, my wife is still very hurt and it is going to take a lot of work on my part, mixed with time and patience, but I am positive that if she can find it in herself to afford me the time to demonstrate how much I’ve improved and continue to improve, I can earn hear love back again. I’ve known that I loved her all this time, but I was incapable of feeling and reciprocating love in a passionate or meaningful way.

I hope this has been interesting or helpful in some way. I mostly wanted to get it out there so that if someone else is in the position I was in and hasn’t already thought about this, they can do their own research and talk to their doctor. I’m also interested to hear if anyone has had similar or opposite results.

Take good care of yourselves and thanks for reading!",8.05867509969773,8.092630786253146,8.056695496456605,69.49497948893801,62.17686504610226,11.52200462292667,37.941641900988095,11.084791844665222,4.393394076557699,5180,237,878,128,66,1678,458,1193,0.11,0.718,0.171,0.9984,5,0,4,0,1,1,136.0,2,3,9,17,36,58,4,2,55,1,109,45,4,32,12,225,194,99,2,24,37,4,14,8,1,5,30,3,2,1,66,73,5,7,38,3,3,13,24,20,0,3,68,23,127,38,146,107,27,127,0,7,5,6,56,58,1,34,59,656,193,18,0.0,0.044680624987883714,0.1471995351630819,0.04110987230448082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552298164916943,0.0,0.08322866760248812,0.030156971278128112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05128869291180084,0.0,0.2307866540665047,0.0,0.0,0.05273593854860465,0.0,0.03103242345020013,0.03357022660412417,0.07050821555614854,0.0,0.03543013633005725,0.05799389748766885,0.03148658588907755,0.0,0.0,0.03208874951249873,0.0,0.07914941882473411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038506506613115006,0.043130620002533294,0.1153447141395328,0.07747788075200511,0.03989257390691175,0.03248414681953294,0.0,0.0,0.12688616807042713,0.09032599180364924,0.041725809928232736,0.0,0.04864014114544184,0.0,0.19487933155235254,0.0,0.0391374129735117,0.03939931303748448,0.0,0.3087853135784347,0.03300060111607092,0.03859080384743043,0.0,0.036941808578717865,0.13119617960934676,0.0,0.03150217734933672,0.0,0.03340019701923333,0.03896489542890701,0.0,0.02490734539303458,0.03411119090195011,0.0953178458439116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03554998307260468,0.0,0.1906749741493104,0.10776119064651224,0.07241574278646883,0.1239296094745165,0.03446659730029798,0.09622927079794613,0.0,0.20673738516933626,0.029134940262653588,0.0,0.1379147924163785,0.0,0.08572669495103906,0.06325934262290389,0.0,0.041575818830219935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014339276676007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025308770981084,0.08500466106798077,0.0,0.0252764677981661,0.039843079008211116,0.037826578351221066,0.037454908742565816,0.0,0.0,0.08073946744963025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03742172591801244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144926904871935,0.0,0.0,0.039929839548437485,0.08194486015937112,0.038561410855390166,0.07990785401265994,0.14738706550176944,0.03779570013319356,0.0332989498192977,0.13348997200825236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618003053693464,0.1701754175429293,0.035682466275035005,0.02517196648149462,0.0,0.03788513781273102,0.0,0.0,0.15195693191725282,0.11400955777110135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055442925623360416,0.0559235267911549,0.05816912811295175,0.07284182553185428,0.04010540898756326,0.035388630037292826,0.03694815839726834,0.0361841194852311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02555352437019476,0.0,0.040126495137925315,0.0,0.0,0.04083665858783727,0.0,0.07843087237546158,0.03292724272569603,0.0,0.0,0.035648491098938626,0.04251277892626723,0.036116112762314766,0.0,0.04065815969456072,0.03608373360251319,0.0,0.0,0.04224424764415671,0.0,0.03772057748019538,0.042922659776503086,0.024158230264198596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042718500864920336,0.06440890416850781,0.03587119985287293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015085355497074,0.0,0.03934014286274898,0.04260198711436629,0.0,0.03119440983498794,0.0,0.07547521299574078,0.038440975802737885,0.06390375251915006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676638304937527,0.0,0.03011555220521485,0.06305511996722435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108315962825942,0.15678206435911912,0.14176753509822185,0.12124067594524275,0.0,0.03471864446608735,0.0,0.0,0.025053095858417748,0.02416328403132226,0.0,0.08981347046901844,0.06596766442179168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041897611411862636,0.0,0.04101805649333486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032569654073732066,0.0,0.15557503338455786,0.06672766425923736,0.1197309537251882,0.0,0.09184214898642812,0.0,0.0,0.06805549144822677,0.0,0.0,0.21810872045645288,0.0,0.08236080096405271,0.0382967137969014,0.0,0.05357673334644706,0.12369111742438675,0.0,0.14570546111012975
mentalhealth,ButWaitTheresAnxiety,2019/02/06,"Should I be an open book, or burn down the library? Every day, I struggle with knowing whether I should be an open book about my anxiety and depression, or if I should shut myself off from the world. 

I feel like blogging or posting on Facebook can be a good way to work through my feelings, and it can possibly help others who may be struggling to know they aren't alone. But some days, I feel like that opens the door to hateful or hurtful comments from other people, and it makes me want to quit all social media and live a quiet life with just my favorite music and books.

I have no idea what the right answer is because my thoughts on this change daily. On really bad anxiety and depression days, I want to retreat. I cancel all plans and cocoon up in my bed because I feel like my mental health is no one else's business but my own. On good days, I apologize to my friends for canceling, beg for forgiveness, and am very candid about my mental health. 

The cycle repeats, and I feel like I'm stuck in an endless loop of shitty emotions.",8.835686274509804,6.528570019607844,8.231372549019607,76.4195098039216,62.03921568627451,10.831372549019608,37.86274509803921,8.841846274778883,3.2068274509803922,820,31,158,9,9,259,125,204,0.136,0.72,0.14400000000000002,0.22,0,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,3,3,15,1,2,10,0,15,3,0,1,2,44,29,17,0,6,9,0,5,4,1,4,3,1,2,0,8,14,0,0,11,4,0,0,3,7,0,1,2,6,24,8,25,19,4,22,0,3,0,0,8,15,0,7,9,107,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306270043721028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817954484871715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921055489430868,0.14486433273797047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569684142350449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065188083698048,0.0,0.2046806714119668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925968176469642,0.13365760929646173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001118001045332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30039728753782097,0.3395429265584653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180079416844897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932280069922034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731111787086955,0.0,0.2526022902043261,0.0,0.0,0.0796431980545113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272003162833775,0.1341344231425463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306018060126815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392677191632751,0.2321997152086716,0.0,0.10492110197683452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931392661013535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23948720109091254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051617095620699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237550636776063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395280143208976,0.11379765340063815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638073787500834,0.0,0.0,0.07611976218123535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147246743745354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112302532588265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484349735671841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943305854499973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803975219261074,0.14016738474561055,0.09431456302492693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650308837302745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ivybugs,2019/02/06,"Mental health support discord! Hello! I have created a discord server enabling users to make friends, talk about things, gain support, and have some fun. It's a safe and friendly environment here to support you though your difficulties.
Feel free to join:
https://discord.gg/kUWtnep",7.804545454545455,11.83985581818182,5.5420000000000025,71.00300000000003,70.36363636363637,7.156363636363636,36.07272727272728,8.238735603445708,3.663178181818183,232,12,30,4,5,66,36,44,0.116,0.396,0.488,0.9735,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,2,3,8,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,6,7,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,9,4,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163776840773805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556478125803081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24465325375916244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363605926050086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319508779321557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7835611291169244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18499686633541568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291053731509394,0.0,0.2261346699716444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smolbeanlydia,2019/02/06,"Anxiety Disorder and Triggers I was scrolling through a subreddit and someone had posted a “Life is Easy, Don’t worry” flowchart, were every option was “don’t worry”. And I broke down. It triggered so many memories of before my diagnosis of my GAD of my family telling me to just not worry, of my church telling me to just not worry. Being bullied because people thought I was faking panic attacks in school for attention. 

I was diagnosed and ever since then, ever since the problem has been acknowledged I’ve gotten better. Improved, and coped. But seeing that chart, say life is easy, just don’t worry. Something broke in me. Do people really think it’s that easy? It made me so angry. I needed a place to calm down so I came here. ",2.9315217391304387,5.65299693478261,4.244376811594203,81.01873913043481,79.65217391304347,6.578550724637681,25.86666666666667,7.793537801064563,1.9286023188405803,579,23,97,10,15,190,84,138,0.247,0.629,0.124,-0.9592,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,9,8,1,1,4,0,15,3,0,3,2,24,22,10,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,11,2,14,2,13,10,0,10,1,2,1,0,3,5,0,1,3,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908938563508828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735801896041634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895972011893046,0.0,0.11021970010711182,0.0,0.0,0.11455793822168595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814675156666268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146928163618468,0.0,0.0,0.14845153852198012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343329228236177,0.10913382980411608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210848140246748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829804285361284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256353992182213,0.0,0.13132214873784046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604416572001764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197445753507885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179598298753595,0.0,0.13533031150766106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405304594828358,0.0,0.0,0.12394182873548255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297964038147954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300671706604547,0.0,0.13109033621249608,0.10321790029408646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21429557394821505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097495624694934,0.09971780793583096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22642823651555835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299699925975446,0.0,0.10283161472547007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6577153011428886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Londelis,2019/02/06,"If your father threatened to kill you How would you deal with this situation? Yes, my father flipped and he rushed to the kitchen room to grab whatever it's there, and he was yelling he would stab me to kill. My mother was standing in between us, and I thought she would be the first one to get stabbed. I was feeling sick in my stomach. My father did verbally threaten to murder her a few times before. He came back from the kitchen, and he ended up just rushing at me with no weapons. Here's what you need to know. He used to be an alcoholic for 7-8 years. He's been clean for years now, but whenever he flips, he's unstoppable. For the first time, I really thought I might kill him before he does. I was scared. I have been mentally unstable for ages. I was diagnosed chronic depression a long time ago, and I've gone through some very dark time.

Anyways, he just couldn't stop rolling his madness for hours. He threatened with some deadly weapons like a dumbbell, golf club, and whatever he could have grabbed sitting around. He choked me and continually asked me to kill him myself. Saying that that was the only way to end this. I am still thinking right now, if I wasn't lucid at that time, I really might have killed him, because he was pointing a sharp corkscrew under my throat. I tried to leave, but he kept wrestling me. I ended up bleeding in my finger. He grabbed my hand and rubbed my blood on his face.

After 2 hours, I managed to calm him down. He said he got angry because I cursed at him. I apologized. I told him we were having an elevated conversation, and I happened to speak my mind. I told him I was verbally absued for my entire life, saying that now he should have understood my pain a bit. He said it's tolerable for him to do such things in a parent-child relationship to tease me if it is necessary. I cannot convince him otherwise so I am done with that.

I want to deal with this situation like an adult. I cannot go back to what I used to be. But, I cannot help but picture in my head, him rushing through the ktichen with madness in his eyes yelling that he would fucking stab me to death. He seriously meant his action. So this is fucked up. What kind of fucking father have I made him to become? I feel responsible as a family member. At the same time, I honestly have no affection left toward him. I cannot look at him anymore. He dies tomorrow, I shall be fine. Maybe I want him to gone.

Guys I don't know what I am looking for writing this shit up in reddit. I just felt like I wanted to talk to somebody. ",2.7811861215707374,4.663779364891519,3.729504662004661,88.84712412587416,75.8639053254438,6.975954814416354,26.31562668101129,7.84624498591911,1.4256828402366861,1986,75,417,30,44,637,239,507,0.22,0.7020000000000001,0.077,-0.998,1,0,1,0,2,0,65.0,2,4,0,2,17,27,15,1,17,1,46,21,9,5,0,63,81,20,9,14,10,5,10,3,0,8,7,7,4,2,19,18,3,2,10,2,0,8,9,19,0,3,29,20,81,8,65,38,5,64,0,1,3,3,74,25,4,7,31,269,100,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689494366425323,0.08312576923871692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713927603008199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924285912730865,0.07271607806889988,0.0,0.0,0.11961978455900267,0.0,0.09483090241708464,0.0859045898205443,0.13237424866190667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491827494826851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896238563197538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621029461587067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603805527879502,0.06699389839609572,0.07894753552131842,0.08072588860032437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806793415913015,0.0795984378040793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20667645449342945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332635846944692,0.0,0.0786582737722832,0.0,0.07468333674796918,0.0,0.0,0.1323234011367925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157258269265437,0.0406381126069701,0.0,0.04420555103741327,0.0,0.0622097198574736,0.0,0.0,0.0770168408588399,0.06878275152591833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982721986128008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05213592745809322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320006332314615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4302737066103329,0.08099843790649787,0.08549438559100449,0.0,0.0,0.0823603691280662,0.0845108446114163,0.0,0.054940035047647565,0.11400170827793132,0.0,0.0,0.06883500844123171,0.1306353129435887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359962191299753,0.0,0.0,0.07814291191776862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838640115048942,0.1650297460826884,0.07853808736721385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057674690927264835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052707391851631716,0.0591570478051582,0.08276599627619602,0.0,0.08636819056317482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352954379407363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965884083388836,0.0,0.0,0.08350922730535529,0.0,0.06642577559092804,0.1479778178104328,0.12371143058361085,0.07787378797647741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984255308236682,0.0,0.17486143468014856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062117154092448675,0.06502959960076164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251857593913869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167519444191844,0.049839844453967615,0.0,0.12350113205485345,0.2721333846435537,0.0,0.0,0.1486489023257821,0.0,0.05280916846394405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356269375144194,0.13435810222237496,0.0,0.064178655970406,0.1376342885820465,0.06174007744821872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22101764419747208,0.0,0.0,0.10017867753970623
mentalhealth,Fell15,2019/02/06,"Any help would be greatly appreciated I am a 25 year old male who has self diagnosed ptsd, adhd, and dyslexia. I have been dealing with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts a good portion of my life. I am currently working with a therapist but would like to get some things off my chest and seek others opinions as to what I should do. I am also currently taking fluoxetine, adderall and Buspar which I belive is what has allowed me to come to reddit to ask for help. 

P. S. Sorry if the post is confusing/long ask me anything and I'll try to explain anything better. 

My past

My past wasn't that bad or that's what I tell myself. I was bullied when I was young by who I thought where my friends. My father was a narcissistic and used what I now know as Gaslighting. My mother was a drug addicted and was gone for about a year of my life she has since then fixed herself. We where not poor by any means at that time in my life, later on my family had to live in a small camper with a lean to on the side of it in WV. I don't remember a lot of things in my life and as I talk more about it more things tend to come back to me. When I was in high school I was sexuly abused by my school's physical trainer, he committed suicide after others reported him for doing the same thing to them. I was asked if he did anything to me and I told them no because his family was going through enough I didn't want to add more to that pain. My father was sexuly attracted to my sister, I found father/daughter porn on the computer and also found out that not only she but his other daughter from a previous marriage was abused too. When I brought the fact that the porn was on the computer he denied and told me that I was crazy for think that he had done that. I also was attracted to my sister and did experiment when I was young with her, it was consensual, I still have strong feelings for her. I also experimented with my cousin who was a male. I have never been I a real relationship with a girl and have never had sex with another person. I had a couple of chances where I could have had sex with a girl but passed on them. I have on the other hand had sex with a dog twice, this fact has almost lead to me killing myself. My father was in the army and I really liked that about him and was the reason why I joined later in life. I always wanted to talk to him about his time in the service but he would get mad at me after talking about it to much. He on the other had would want to talk about how he didn't like sloppy seconds or other sexuly encounters. When I was younger I would have fits of rage and anger, I would take it out on animals and hate myself after doing this. I would also steal and lie now since I have gotten older the stealing has stopped but lying is still happening even when I try not to lie I still do unconsciously. My mother has always been there for me and not in a good way, I don't know if I could function if she died, she has held my hand up to this point in my. 

My thoughts 

I feel that my sense of reality is warped. I am sexuly actracted to role of my sister, not my sister directly, I would like my lover to be my sibling. I also don't want to cut corners when it comes to a significant other I feel that they have to meet certain standards. I am a furry and I am also attracted to animals. I absolutely hate myself for eveything that I have done that was the wroung or incorrect. I now second guess eveything and am unsure if something really did happen in my life. I am afraid that I might be mentally disabled or retarded. I feel that I can't keep a friendship and always blame myself for losing people or not gaining friendship. I also don't want to risk making new friends because I fear that I will look stupid. I can be over emotionally on the wiredest things like inanment objects. I seek out things that are emotionally sad and day dream about how I could sacrifice myself or that if I had a tragic past and that it would make me stronger or special. I also sometimes like for things to be taken away from me, by this I mean like a lover being stolen or raped where you have that heart ache, this also has turned me on before. I also daydream where I have killed people before, I have them where I am the bad guy and some where I am the good guy. I don't care about most of my family and wish something bad would happen to them so they could learn from the experience. I really want to have someone care about me but I don't want anyone to get close to me. I also have gotten physically sick when showing signs of affection, this doesn't happen all the time though. I am afraid of talking to girls that I find attractive its is a imoblizing fear. My mind also goes straight to sexuly thoughts when talking to most females. I like drugs and how they make me feel and have abused them before. I wish things like pokemon where real and I also find I am sexuly actracted to them. I am unsure if I am bisexual and am afried that I might be. I also think I might be a narcissistic which just make me hate myself even more. 




Thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read this and for those who write after reading this. I have more that I might add later as I rember things. ",4.952576231715305,5.16485020624409,5.811791863765374,82.35848831962741,68.69725638599812,8.850878393130051,27.42520922785823,8.708456373136737,1.8096245950076413,4096,118,846,62,65,1349,361,1057,0.162,0.7070000000000001,0.131,-0.9921,3,0,4,0,3,2,73.0,1,1,10,6,58,54,11,5,44,0,128,24,4,12,7,165,196,86,5,31,28,11,7,9,4,16,12,0,0,9,68,50,0,3,23,4,1,8,20,26,0,3,55,8,164,28,126,113,15,100,1,4,1,8,82,46,0,27,53,658,232,11,0.0,0.1411444988172753,0.0,0.04328820619997751,0.04772198866873501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03976240035790657,0.0,0.0,0.4763239768974376,0.09912214214232927,0.0,0.0,0.054006383139540114,0.04163790145304326,0.0303769499557191,0.0,0.0,0.05553031556832443,0.0,0.09803031752916894,0.0,0.11136646756700133,0.0,0.03730751182561237,0.030533441872464005,0.09946500045570293,0.0484119555530071,0.0,0.10136721383917338,0.0,0.0,0.0351190062799042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809710740162906,0.0,0.0,0.10261625981268377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681625894153462,0.04393678118619539,0.0,0.0256087448278257,0.040937795566828535,0.03420093607471724,0.04030336613130182,0.0412112300029302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127131419906516,0.0,0.0,0.09209867698793883,0.0,0.0,0.08933360087034695,0.0,0.04102957108196227,0.0,0.05245427644640101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652781275792885,0.1123011270568861,0.08936636940714597,0.10038923907398124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258583339283517,0.0,0.0,0.08707680230355726,0.06135749059849594,0.0,0.062238272055047776,0.0,0.022567297341608804,0.0999170021954854,0.0,0.04377884234535322,0.04374347037253348,0.07863546125697206,0.14045664123455082,0.0,0.0,0.11761198599197052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047054850655723776,0.053231639444175305,0.04195428793782579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03529480452720584,0.08786330628145228,0.0,0.043645586931773096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828403824162197,0.1745964288047454,0.0,0.035063397797597866,0.035140837893654894,0.03334520078730585,0.04442373656299353,0.0,0.03375880910361572,0.0,0.0,0.10602312431810633,0.0,0.0,0.08650855477640051,0.0,0.0,0.0400169024203444,0.16849808508918698,0.04009433948141728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029190370368195575,0.0,0.061251399507555926,0.03835078761923092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04166746807112184,0.0,0.0,0.03020015939945833,0.042252721748872436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371897925664674,0.055057850025042016,0.034671994652517565,0.0,0.0,0.03753743679813668,0.0,0.03802983684350476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046417197344939806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794386381865239,0.09039409966030112,0.07631498672807951,0.04082702689782588,0.0,0.042632147301431465,0.04498207292638642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037439241918733,0.0,0.0,0.041424702163174426,0.0,0.0,0.06569468448951525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033644945373617535,0.06113919956100952,0.03927279442767415,0.04445049692060768,0.0,0.0,0.09513395400720584,0.03319814538572547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686946865141726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059711810791739976,0.19149748293806831,0.034707043368524135,0.03655831936184063,0.0,0.046104714243079006,0.2374255055552447,0.05088730093197071,0.039013471743611666,0.12609668712186514,0.09261755388490744,0.0,0.0,0.07588648709413275,0.0,0.05391902958432946,0.043191525243737434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03429545805842795,0.0,0.0,0.16394801779095844,0.031518817274524775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03583081121040777,0.0,0.0913257994398322,0.0,0.0,0.028908314354284037,0.0,0.0,0.2820783124117638,0.0,0.0,0.05114203873206572
mentalhealth,weirdest-throwawaymd,2019/02/06,"I believe I’ve died I was in a major car accident a few months ago but i came out fine. 75mph to full stop in just a few feet, nothing but a few scratches. 

However, right before impact, i told myself 

“I’m now going to die” and accepted it, all within about a second. 

During the impact, i told myself 

“I am dead” i felt like my brain popped, like breaking through an embryo. 

The a second later, i came back, i told myself 

“I died, now what do i do” 

In that moment i was in the understanding that i had died there, and i am now here. To continue this life in a different universe so to speak. 

I was scared that when i got home, the bed may be in a different spot, with my girlfriend telling me it’s always been there. Or that i would be driving and realize that “wait, the powerlines were on the other side of the road before” but as time passed, i noticed nothing different. 

However, about a week ago, i went to feel a mole i have always had on my stomach that i would always randomly touch, and i couldnt find it. I looked at my stomach and felt around and i am 100% sure that there used to be a mole there. 

I have stayed convinced that i had died there and am now living here. I understand this is not normal, yet I don’t know why i feel this way or what to do about it. ",2.5064716981132094,3.5774196754716985,4.093726415094341,89.31228773584905,74.88679245283019,7.2622641509433965,23.438679245283016,7.7348632917899725,0.9210792452830184,974,27,218,13,20,326,133,265,0.14300000000000002,0.7879999999999999,0.069,-0.9724,6,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,0,20,7,0,1,19,0,26,5,4,1,2,40,45,15,6,4,7,0,6,2,1,3,1,1,2,0,18,12,0,2,10,0,0,7,3,1,0,2,17,8,37,6,26,21,6,42,0,0,1,0,6,16,0,4,18,162,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779039867076437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504914456705827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933053908510906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716102407219913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17077664242912116,0.11305725570494812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202098334200418,0.0,0.2295415864382609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5207242477908729,0.3145253007725365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014774099183744,0.0,0.19269864983780405,0.0,0.09171578594249737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05702978985119669,0.0,0.0802570529472839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065671214279404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514835500620277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708783982928508,0.09804942762754433,0.0,0.08860867021852098,0.0,0.08426661662935499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009640742716763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831923229926884,0.19257224194838127,0.1142462800104408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569620633044936,0.0,0.0,0.10046534109384628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695707038488718,0.0,0.0838949931016608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457631973037048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770812737127681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058513427135661725,0.0,0.0,0.28765897479964364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20893054758218876,0.0,0.08666801063131845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965116506043578,0.08049270188226768,0.0,0.0,0.09302312657096863,0.09054799972701492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256795251031398,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,seekinghelp73826,2019/02/06,"I recently started seeing a therapist for the first time ever, and I don’t know if she is a good fit. I need help figuring out how to seek mental health help. I’m clueless. So I recently, for the first time ever, started going to a counselor for my mental health. That was a big step for me. I feel like anything I do, whether I enjoy it or not, requires all my strength to motivate me to do and leaves me feeling drained (especially when it’s something I don’t want to do like chores). So something like seeking mental health required ALOT of motivation after months (maybe more) of procrastination. I’m not in a crisis, or suffered from trauma, or anything very serious. I just know my mental health is degrading and is affecting my work and my relationships and my outlook on life. I’ve been to 5 one-hour sessions now, and am feeling really discouraged. The first couple sessions had me feeling really hopeful (she suggested I could have adult ADHD, which I’d never considered, but after I did my own research I learned I fit a lot of the signs). Now, not so much. 

I’ve got two things I would love feedback and help with. One, I’d like to know if my therapists behaviors are normal of a good therapist. And then I’d like ANY help and input on how to find a therapist that works for you and what some red flags are. 

So firstly, if anyone else has had professional help, please let me know if this is typical, but here are some things that have me questioning this therapist (and try to ignore my bias in there, I’m obviously discouraged and viewing this therapist in a negative light):

1. Two of the five sessions, she said she couldn’t find the notes from her last session. So I felt like I spent half of that hour I had recapping everything we’d talked about in the past. I felt that about some sessions she did have her notes too. She’s repeated examples in sessions so I feel like she’s forgotten what we talked about. 

2. She gave me a printed article off the internet to read about ADHD and told me to ignore the ads for medicine at the end. I would’ve expected a scholarly article or maybe an excerpt from a book, but again, never done this before so I don’t know. 

3. This one really has me bummed. I work 8-5 and can only have appointments after that. Her 7 slot is the only one I’m able to get into, and so I’m always her last appointment. Every appointment now, she has mentioned what a long day it’s been and how she’s tired, and one time she asked to she end the appointment early. She did say she thought she was sick, so I figured ok this is a fluke. But five weeks of acting similarly? It makes me feel like she just wants to leave and she isn’t really paying attention.

4. At our last appointment, she told me she didn’t really know where to go from here. I guess she meant how to start helping me. After five sessions would a normal therapist still not have pinpointed what issues should be worked on? Or not have a plan in mind for where to go from there? She said she’d talk to her friend who’s a nurse practitioner about some things (I guess where to go from here with me). Which also seemed like a red flag, kind of like the random internet article. 

So there is all that. Any feed back would be appreciated. And from here, how should I go about finding a therapist who works for me? What are some red flags and what are some green flags in that process?

Thanks
",3.615715373551062,5.242779962630799,4.572292072087318,84.76382604281245,72.99103139013454,8.397337620216035,26.3745099698226,9.00130237685291,1.994504165609048,2661,92,541,56,53,864,263,669,0.064,0.792,0.14400000000000002,0.9941,0,0,2,0,0,0,81.0,3,1,0,15,44,28,0,0,34,1,54,9,0,9,7,120,103,52,0,18,21,0,8,10,1,5,7,3,1,1,31,25,1,6,27,2,2,7,14,8,0,14,23,18,80,20,69,68,13,69,0,3,6,1,56,21,0,23,51,373,111,25,0.05110804805613956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228438839290811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040871087565665626,0.04252599016307558,0.0,0.0,0.06951045049563949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035735935522159125,0.0523662349032093,0.08411513772457803,0.0,0.04777912585313588,0.0,0.0,0.039298934243635945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04348918461016794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04080561767310754,0.056550083083508375,0.0,0.03296046293288584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523012774967121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04269421610941655,0.0,0.09053312181078572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246031091549836,0.04306073475933557,0.0,0.04593261812689567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505058833324373,0.1095347992295309,0.09814348189219747,0.0,0.1401354900688607,0.17388991827197545,0.0,0.0,0.039485951149178695,0.0,0.026701845702439816,0.0,0.14522940747866878,0.0857340118091472,0.040875774839537166,0.0,0.11260255381224755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21730186065441964,0.0,0.0,0.20553988380368252,0.0,0.0,0.050761823555261314,0.10066226480599473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05334352388286265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322116733214133,0.16852587972437094,0.12497964139818207,0.0,0.1082320869437434,0.0,0.052261441813598736,0.03609912578659734,0.2496881071300682,0.0,0.0,0.0452290142532028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043450234816235965,0.0461270087620848,0.0,0.03411501893797029,0.0,0.10268980732189438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060195667975904,0.0,0.05160455926992025,0.0,0.040793956359190434,0.0,0.037570295888641116,0.037895970045901985,0.07883535474423291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015007165789712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17316068024760015,0.07773994712708496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04878841486576365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610128930685352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572527104491497,0.0,0.05112187861977612,0.0,0.16370562140563572,0.0,0.10092606346915847,0.05487091695924665,0.0,0.0,0.09723091465326117,0.04064317114108662,0.0,0.0,0.040726497319455095,0.0465268474662652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869094461386228,0.0,0.0,0.10852361839744587,0.0,0.040814953196590086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323613926721773,0.0,0.047053424067284084,0.0,0.4747230635651026,0.10186174850022583,0.0,0.0,0.04057408133220893,0.08940454146471061,0.058741182942944614,0.0,0.09767186020984886,0.0,0.03469900980973533,0.0,0.0998502733220288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0421694921141053,0.0602897018147531,0.0,0.04099579336069941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18603633839392086,0.0,0.0,0.1452227639101877,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,microchiropteran,2019/02/06,"Emotions get very intense (suicidal ideation) in a way that doesn't seem normal I've struggled with depression/anxiety since I was a kid. I have never been abused. When I think back for several years all I can remember is wanting to die and hating myself. Now, I haven't considered myself depressed and have a loving long term partner. But when I get upset, I get very uncontrollably upset. I guess this has always happened but I'm more self aware of it. I don't lash out and in fact most anyone doesn't notice, I try to avoid anyone and it's hard to talk when it happens.

For example my mother has always been rather overbearing and due to other issues (autistic) I've struggled with getting a job. I was having tons of anxiety about it and feeling like a burden to the point where I couldn't sleep, and have been applying. She angrily messaged me about how ""I would think you'd be concerned about getting a job"" and other things basically accusing me of not caring or trying, when caring has caused me tons of anxiety already. This caused a flood of emotions that I realize after is very irrational, I get very depressed and suicidal. Self hatred. Like my old depression comes back full force temporarily. It gets hard to move, I would stare at objects and not really process what I'm doing. In these moments (hours-days) suicide seems completely logical and there's no rational force in my brain. A while later I might be fine. This can't be normal right? 

 I also get uncontrollably upset (cry easily) when others are angry, even if it's not at me.  These irrational episodes end up making me hate myself more, especially since it might look like I'm doing it on purpose to make it about me. Weirdly my emotions are fairly flat otherwise, I don't cry easily at sad movies etc. 

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mentalhealth,GTsonny,2019/02/06,"Talking Changes are a joke (mental health councillors in UK) Been waiting 7 month for an appointment with them for my severe OCD and depression and they phoned me to cancel my appointments so now I have to wait another month or so for it to be rescheduled this beyond belief now this country is a f***ing joke, no wonder you hear about people committing suicide quite a lot because of how terrible the mental health services are round here are where the hell are you meant to get help. I feel as though I’m tipping over the edge now and they honestly do now give 2 sh*ts about the people who are in desperate need. ",8.206666666666663,7.507937145299149,7.344914529914527,77.13480769230772,62.16239316239317,10.876923076923077,35.739316239316246,10.125756701596842,3.4367675213675213,494,19,91,9,6,152,84,117,0.189,0.725,0.086,-0.9393,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,2,3,1,13,6,1,0,8,0,10,2,0,1,1,15,20,9,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,4,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,10,3,16,17,1,11,2,1,1,0,11,5,1,3,6,64,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20099364261849748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684661033958647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027724778506413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650940725332201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691938420063644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014511277849868,0.1838773335038332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.407494665064034,0.2160377742713412,0.0,0.1284793510367619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295984608759115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863375772116934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059949792084218,0.0,0.0,0.14212860925006002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26577414915485154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203875730537775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165443249838648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966727821612616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406546801837262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18832504817240767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078692485944933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theresemua,2019/02/06,"How do I find a way of coping? I (F22) used to selfharm for several years, about 8, and it was my main way of dealing (or not having to deal) with my emotions during my teenage years. We are talking all negative emotions that I encounter. Anger, sadness, stress, all of it. 

Now Ive been selfharm free for about 4 years, but I dont know how to deal with my emotions in a healthy way. I just end up crying and screaming, and usually having an anxiety attack. And I cant seem to figure out a good way to deal with it, it just eats me up as I will usually hide it. 

Any tips on how to find a healthy way of coping? ",3.680546875000001,3.710387210937501,5.031250000000004,87.48875000000002,71.421875,7.9625,30.0625,7.6454224807358475,1.6975437499999997,465,18,105,5,8,156,73,128,0.179,0.726,0.095,-0.8628,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,0,8,7,2,1,5,0,10,1,0,4,2,25,13,10,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,9,1,0,5,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,2,1,14,3,23,10,3,17,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,2,7,74,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208158860857095,0.0,0.09233680037436093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731609993443197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258562393716392,0.0,0.4977543910801969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146199941001988,0.0,0.0,0.12350841404947854,0.0,0.40732095629971504,0.10690626239559074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206391233409194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123922139624517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633473494896082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988268744479752,0.0,0.1363590523253315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826388405260126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701580134510256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424788759584222,0.265872690798013,0.0,0.0,0.479038669609063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331846463202035
mentalhealth,gotanyweed,2019/02/06,I keep fazing out I do something 10 secs later I can't remember what I did my family is like this I'm 14 I've gotten rewards because of how smart I am so I don't know why this is  and I'll faze in and out of a conversation that could be really important and I don't know why,-1.5337499999999975,0.3452831250000017,2.4643750000000004,91.643125,92.75,6.325,17.375,7.6454224807358475,0.4822875,216,6,53,5,8,81,43,64,0.0,0.816,0.184,0.8553,0,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,10,0,0,1,0,11,15,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,8,3,5,11,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19595165619571026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566499916010335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030324718770127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857176630527682,0.0,0.0,0.3533187183711505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704320692109688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059277558074455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641378080416806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24746629785162025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5801134632396902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mariapenelope,2019/02/06,"Could I be faking my mental illness? I recently started university and the workload is very intense. What makes it worse is my obsessiveness: I constantly stress that I'm not doing enough - counting the hours of work done and being frustrated if 8 aren't completed daily. I'm always worried that the work I'm doing doesn't constitute real work: it's too easy, it's too unproductive, etc. I'm scared I'm not writing notes properly: I flit between methods, rewrite work so many times, change my work methods, all because it never feels right and I'm scared I'm being lazy/the cause of my own failure.  


Recently things got really bad, I felt very depressed and spoke to my tutor and doctor. I was recommended to intermit to seek therapy and return next year. Ever since I've felt okay, not so depressed and able to do things and even look forward to things, like dinner with friends or seeing family. It makes me worry I've made this up in the first place, and I'm seeking help I don't need. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but I'm afraid I tricked the doctor into thinking I felt like that through exaggerated symptoms because I feel fine now. I do go through phases: it gets bad and good again, usually it's bad but I've bee okay recently, apart from these obsessive thoughts about the notion of faking for laziness. Would you think it's possible that I've made up my issues? My mother says the fact I'm having these constant compulsive thoughts is a big part of the problem.",5.7693684210526275,6.818929585964912,6.283157894736847,76.73210526315792,67.17543859649122,9.368421052631579,32.89473684210526,9.549672527348893,3.1395263157894746,1192,51,213,24,19,387,162,285,0.189,0.731,0.08,-0.9822,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,6,9,24,2,6,9,2,19,6,0,5,4,45,50,17,0,5,7,1,5,2,1,1,5,2,0,0,19,14,1,0,9,0,0,2,7,17,0,1,12,9,21,7,21,33,5,27,0,3,2,0,7,9,0,2,20,122,40,8,0.09128022742269408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595246152224112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698291241333916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22864553136090884,0.11128715880886872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376993785896894,0.09656237728698153,0.0,0.0957055817736928,0.19728299589809767,0.0,0.07287983405731559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358585783748168,0.09264750940034204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18685836128308608,0.0,0.09341136447146718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943168756704868,0.1018015824147184,0.06028972932836151,0.08256819159547052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860508746819141,0.0,0.09230805129774346,0.0,0.2629299989309216,0.0,0.0,0.07764291481521779,0.0,0.0,0.07052287727637918,0.0,0.04769015137590637,0.0,0.05187665679798348,0.07656152400109897,0.07300513647739612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118321233681717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989263700974831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527284208168232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918981675269322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665240152233467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274311650183818,0.121860521214461,0.09254382360840037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919889999034598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676831320263657,0.07040093863590514,0.0,0.09707755741563738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884759110555126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536840965065688,0.0,0.0,0.10290474131289387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734284997953264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389688259200863,0.058476451050784285,0.0,0.2703846373536667,0.0,0.0,0.07795281547229152,0.0,0.07258970056658609,0.18277486322907946,0.0,0.07273852316500316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550794738789568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460861478653505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456119210900022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487510686703313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043868952085521,0.0,0.18192758131871026,0.11697736799684295,0.0,0.14493260894654758,0.053226234666316964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100532274532703,0.15063149452496574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322654635299148,0.18539900359085268,0.09302235003172148,0.06484285460341366,0.0,0.0,0.058781473720402
mentalhealth,cmayne50,2019/02/06,"I feel like an idiot at work. In my personal life, I feel confident and intelligent, not outrageously, but enough to go about my day without too much worry about what other people think about what I've just said/done. I have done well in school, held leadership positions in school and sport and have no problem talking with strangers.

But at work I become a completely different person. I become hyper-agreeable, I'm reserved, I struggle to make even simple decisions or take a stance and feel like a fucking idiot all day. I feel like the interactions people have with me are strained and as a result I have no close relationships at work. I feel like such an outsider. I want so badly to be good at what I do; to be seen as the reliable, capable one. (And it's only an administrative client services role). Help me. ",5.3887012987012985,6.82701007792208,6.037532467532468,76.712012987013,68.35064935064935,9.236363636363636,30.233766233766232,9.573946990214177,2.8460597402597405,648,25,117,14,11,211,94,154,0.158,0.643,0.199,0.5132,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,9,14,4,2,9,0,9,2,0,2,1,28,23,12,0,2,6,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,9,0,1,7,1,0,1,4,8,1,1,3,6,15,6,19,18,3,11,0,0,1,1,7,8,1,1,6,79,20,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977265249288344,0.0,0.2903984077937509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378446651523187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957561959791806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735903644041678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454030599216285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584451297473654,0.0,0.08683524406176601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323780124990076,0.3756911522491367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154266493080232,0.0,0.0,0.07471790310463802,0.11027149560030816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812212685206229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286173611502516,0.2569200290604384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877578006986826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664618814314116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908803769769393,0.09998949141299733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18229064123402525,0.22959051743558526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257998299132363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411504710995193,0.0,0.0,0.12505886696715954,0.0,0.0,0.26611100008854105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744185812448087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884970329862387,0.10567127407386034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424120005901621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754490252024014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820806624061587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673318970751016,0.0,0.2871369927216764,0.13351501080671258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oworanges,2019/02/06,"I can't stop dissociating Ever since I got the flu, it won't stop. Like everything I do, I can only faintly remember doing it. I feel like I'm just looking into my life rather than being the life looking out. It's really confusing but I really want it to stop and I seriously can't stop crying because I just want things to go back to normal.",2.464272300469485,4.141674042253527,5.478521126760565,76.86078638497655,76.1830985915493,8.67699530516432,24.509389671361504,9.2995712137729,2.214378403755869,271,9,53,7,6,99,45,71,0.101,0.6629999999999999,0.236,0.8131,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,7,4,0,0,1,18,15,2,0,4,4,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,3,0,4,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,3,9,2,6,12,0,9,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,8,36,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416711098926975,0.0,0.11231251792572602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023817348937165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665788933632195,0.0,0.0,0.16558527897912495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315854387002692,0.13162287881665555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470925862267476,0.0,0.1473555581263379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602718529025521,0.18002315810817138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094345946889639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805185316177516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012472353849226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360609266035341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20871083657628792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240729991323998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6161399193474308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224025302753576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173420001225358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,555hk7,2019/02/06,"Arguments give me intrusive thoughts and I don't know what to do. When I get too emotionally stressed like in an argument or exhausting discussion i get really intrusive thoughts of harming myself. (Tw) one of the images flashing in my head is me slicing my arms open elbow to wrist with a kitchen knife and I just want to scream. I usually end up hitting my head against something and the pain relieves the tension in me but I always feel so defeated afterwards. 
Its lead to throwing things or grabbing my partner when theyre putting too much strain on for me to handle which I hate as I'm not a violent person and don't want to be. 

Can anybody relate or feels the same or can tell me why this is ? I feel so alone with this feeling. 

(I posted this on another sub too to get a couple of opinions so if you see it around apologies)",3.832570356472793,5.5166778292682945,4.727560975609759,83.63770168855537,72.53658536585365,8.21688555347092,32.127579737335836,8.841846274778883,2.7466703564727952,660,32,128,13,13,214,106,164,0.175,0.7559999999999999,0.07,-0.9531,0,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,2,10,12,2,3,8,0,8,8,5,1,0,28,25,16,0,3,8,0,5,1,1,0,2,1,1,2,8,8,1,0,7,0,0,3,3,10,0,1,2,7,20,2,22,21,2,17,0,1,1,0,7,8,0,6,6,89,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749535802032343,0.0,0.0,0.14055770651983193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17713079457468456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037753879023225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869104035260169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001596084552133,0.14961589274003045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34165075689947105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647663354143475,0.16204660885533295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16677677311025782,0.3467280526107479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283582052786657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252738513294687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417805213067253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144667906928584,0.0,0.17974628679980742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749729808587125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178181374564135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981455984460586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821658285176967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460998875880584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004539878306354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193501053939074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764639798520374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122251255164833,0.0,0.0,0.2682124411135385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860451347636836,0.0,0.19927066204337784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15242699171841115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GettingRidOfAuntEdna,2019/02/06,Exactly how vital is having vacations (meaning a break from one’s daily life) to mental health? I haven’t been on a real vacation in I want to say 13 years. I’ve been noticing lately that apathy is really starting to set in and other increases in the “don’t wannas”. Could going on a get away really help relieve this increase in symptoms?,3.33818181818182,5.563379181818185,5.684848484848484,73.89727272727276,75.36363636363637,8.642424242424243,26.15151515151515,9.2995712137729,2.8016242424242424,270,10,44,7,6,95,52,66,0.034,0.7829999999999999,0.183,0.8286,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,8,3,0,1,1,8,13,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,1,2,2,12,10,2,15,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,32,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399013200083491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386904962198849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340515882196716,0.0,0.14511620197506953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27141559385034403,0.0,0.0,0.17114972218676694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880358241361149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803549336087713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781412571800801,0.0,0.0,0.2573237196348016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907074756570857,0.0,0.0,0.17302570247449384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906340140135646,0.32715602759508355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305745009265894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073170808217412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653971173226773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506067658310091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644312632947788
mentalhealth,wiselifestylechoices,2019/02/06,"Thought's about the Instagram Egg, do we need to see more of this within social media to spread awareness? [https://healthnotepad.com/mental-health-week-instagram-egg-is-part-of-vibrant-awareness-campaign/](https://healthnotepad.com/mental-health-week-instagram-egg-is-part-of-vibrant-awareness-campaign/) this is a link to an article explaining more about Eugene the record breaking egg on Instagram.  


It turns out that this is a part of a viral marketing campaign to help spread mental health awareness on an international scale, what do you think about it? Do you think we need to see more of this embedded within social media to help expose younger people to further guidance with regards to mental health education?",18.70978947368421,20.89194882105263,11.817894736842105,44.175263157894754,39.73684210526316,11.389473684210527,37.94736842105263,10.793553405168565,4.2862210526315785,618,18,67,9,5,161,55,95,0.017,0.921,0.062,0.6531,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,0,5,4,0,0,0,11,14,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,4,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,20,13,4,7,0,0,2,0,9,6,0,0,0,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5396141574741141,0.0,0.0,0.1701354218996432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5115974369748345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882100952693132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123061532939425,0.0,0.08798611728576762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022678910500397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587454738002317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264260322987828,0.0,0.10075545900725266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804587734966772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20360534813365172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Big_Tuna13,2019/02/06,"Post Medication Anxiety I’m not sure who else to ask at this point, but here’s another go. Back in May 2018, I took a anti-inflammatory steroid called methylprednisolone. It was only for a few days because I experienced panic attacks/anxiety for the first time, from them. What I’m struggling to understand is why I’m continuing to feel general anxiety 9 months after taking the pills. Is it possible they effected something in my body or brain? I’m a 22 year old male, in good athletic shape, with no history of anxiety or other mental issues. I’ve seen a psychologist, to no success since the anxiety isn’t stemming from how I actually feel/think, it’s more just an out of no where, physical feeling. I’m debating seeing a psychiatrist instead. ",4.1403296703296695,6.651167142857144,6.225714285714287,69.6085164835165,74.0,10.593406593406591,32.912087912087905,10.560738912317856,4.479186813186813,600,31,101,22,13,209,101,140,0.18,0.746,0.075,-0.8975,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,3,6,5,0,2,9,0,5,4,2,2,1,15,19,4,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,3,5,6,3,17,15,2,20,0,0,2,0,6,8,0,3,9,60,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.14410535901896535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484566646006742,0.5648386322041273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805222557596356,0.0,0.0,0.11354969849749375,0.0,0.09001872405474756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16402892325715368,0.0,0.16484940469394704,0.15078835551760095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523542305662117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335997044490232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22400031827771447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560867216605348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392469541253786,0.12385922645581322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412990632624604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487627539386974,0.1488173925367899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786939097098086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495562067297394,0.0,0.0,0.11231026651722878,0.0,0.17325981824168504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959659866060095,0.16647659283098448,0.14142776715202876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767447592378412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215477783066014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368416481719255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15437754006394608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917794274396375,0.0,0.1110300329137822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462145968200683,0.0,0.0,0.0861080071085181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406764675865174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373046800594165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332498912784408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509512721869537
mentalhealth,BlueTurtle99,2019/02/06,"I don't want to lose my daughter but I need mental help. Hello y'all I'll try to simplify this situatuon as best I can. I have a new born daughter to a woman whom I'm not currently with. I want to receive mental help for my ptsd, suicidal depression and severe anxiety and anthrophobia but I also dont want to risk any chance of losing joint custody because of my mental illness thats been plaguing me for years. Is there any help I can get without losing my daughter for cheap? I save my money for her and myself and have no disposable income.",2.6530909090909103,4.708128127272733,4.576363636363637,81.84454545454548,76.81818181818181,7.309090909090909,26.45454545454545,8.238735603445708,1.9680181818181817,434,17,81,8,10,148,71,110,0.248,0.552,0.2,-0.6785,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,4,2,7,0,1,2,0,8,1,0,0,0,14,14,8,1,4,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,5,0,0,1,0,17,2,14,13,1,5,0,4,0,0,12,0,0,0,4,55,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392626669515755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21076440925099407,0.0,0.11854857778055355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446584477293522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262727273866942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347200217044886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816190161675551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096334716948733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31161136115869864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5201019980858237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4685078860152521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490533700711587,0.0,0.14966714352992266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114697946381228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750674883159662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950766907457468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521175236236012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742089131123273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938170907229836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979303329205576
mentalhealth,Hoopola,2019/02/06,"What do you say when people ask ""Are you OK?"" Like on those days when you need to say something because you're not in a fantastic place, but you're not in a terrible place either, but they're not so close to you that you can tell them everything, but they know somethings going on? 

They're just trying to be nice/concerned but society doesn't cover nicities like ""I'm having a brain meltdown but I'm sure I'll be fine eventually please don't worry about me I just won't be able to come along today"" 

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mentalhealth,aaaniza,2019/02/06,"Dealing with friends with mental health issues My close friend recently told me about the mental health issues she’s been going through. She has depression and has been professionally diagnosed with anxiety. I have never really dealt with someone close to me with mental health issues before. So when she told me about her health, I reacted by clamming up and being scared....

I feel like there has been a slight strain on our relationship because I don’t really know how to react to all of this. Just thinking/reflecting on the whole situation, I want to be the supportive friend. I want to be able to help and hold her hand through it all, but I just don’t know how. I find myself walking on eggshells around her... I want to be able to comfortably talk to her about her health but it has been so hard for me to do so. I am so afraid of saying the wrong thing and/or doing the wrong thing. 

I am really trying to put effort in getting to a place where I can completely be comfortable with talking to my friend about her health. This subreddit has been such a great help for me understanding different views/aspects of mental health. If anyone has any comments/advice on my situation, let me know your thoughts! 
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mentalhealth,cutie_jasmine7,2019/02/06,I'm so angry and anxious and i think at such a fast rate What can I do to stop... I dont know what to do to get rid of my anxiety,-3.6031818181818167,-2.282119878787878,0.8578030303030317,103.60670454545456,96.27272727272728,4.512121212121213,14.31060606060606,5.985473137389443,-1.0959030303030302,96,2,30,1,4,37,24,33,0.239,0.7609999999999999,0.0,-0.762,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,5,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34490203714204143,0.5093366321887841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5283974707472076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23555258017760186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477775396636632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3769340894844728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28888900600095346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abhisheknnaik,2019/02/06,"Constant sadness Hi, I know the stuff i am dealing with isn't as serious as some of the post I've seen here on this page but i really wanted to vent out. So here I go.

I am fucking sad all the time, it annoys me a lot. It creeps in when i am alone. I thought it was the toxic environment that I was in that made me feel that way. So I moved out from my parents house to a complete different city but there you go I am still sad. I try to keep my self busy to distract myself but it only goes so far. Career is also kind of in a shitty place, got used to the shitty job (trying to educate myself so that I could be in a better position- which is going to take years).

Recently I found love at least I though so and yes you guessed it right I fucked it up. Now the horrible part is she works with me in the same office and she is with some other guy now , which also makes me sad. 

Trying to get into some hobbies to distract myself and yeah exercise- not really making much progress but gotta start somewhere.

​",0.9020358514724728,2.9787358169014087,2.8666602646180124,91.754433418694,82.84976525821597,5.750661545027742,20.010456679470767,6.980632752743323,0.3513117370892016,791,22,172,10,22,265,125,213,0.198,0.713,0.08900000000000001,-0.9827,3,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,3,15,13,3,2,11,2,13,4,0,4,1,32,36,18,0,2,5,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,15,9,0,1,4,1,0,4,2,10,0,0,7,2,28,3,28,26,10,29,0,4,1,3,10,14,2,5,9,127,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832586844358352,0.0,0.21361266046799907,0.0,0.14471009937181936,0.16228765837518724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812124827265427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003308211509086,0.14432881265919656,0.0,0.1066352411003006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769249264468966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953974357916665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753096678220094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643951627943638,0.0,0.24694454384483985,0.06977857257578562,0.0,0.22771236556795785,0.0,0.10681857924793184,0.0,0.14712925767316498,0.1322434747745775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410806636907706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253576360382924,0.11871253802185475,0.0,0.1390801642942055,0.07340001549138007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354628430358342,0.1205413612406177,0.12637586319217067,0.17830208079360962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195107844537275,0.09818053956171807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015769209944423,0.0,0.0,0.14830041719058842,0.14463036100541635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953974357916665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791170011352654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711214230149412,0.0,0.13187246909915915,0.0,0.0,0.114057851254131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933018177786646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945330804334762,0.0,0.106659637148054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289202221541678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041903764482192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312201132650587,0.1060301789803495,0.07787877730402377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720314619406941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535127969329945,0.0,0.0,0.0787760026129734,0.10601216933279133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723185644180003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228765837518724,0.08600701008013423
mentalhealth,Tarndra99,2019/02/06,"My brain is constantly telling me that im faking my pain and emotions for attention. Whenever i feel pain, have a panic attack or feel any strong emotion, all i can think is ""you just did that for attention"" ""its not as bad as your making it out to be"" ""your making this up"" its gotten to the point where i dont know if my pain or emotions are real any more. Im sure sometimes i do exagerate, but i have no clue when. I dont know the difference between ""i think i might faint"" and ""if i fake faint right now i wont have to keep working"". Because my brain goes straight from thinking about fainting to thinking about what will happen if i do, but then im convinced that i only thought about fainting because of the outcome i want. Its very confusing and stops me from telling people when not ok for fear they wont believe me.",6.039095143047238,5.3142760898203605,6.2023552894211615,83.64422488356622,66.54491017964072,9.098868928809047,34.124417831004656,8.167268648758528,2.41443499667332,645,26,135,7,9,206,96,167,0.156,0.748,0.097,-0.8504,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,1,2,8,14,1,3,4,1,17,9,2,2,2,35,32,15,0,4,10,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,9,4,0,2,11,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,3,2,24,4,18,24,2,12,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,7,6,93,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289913731547738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278941695416223,0.0,0.0,0.09386614370790372,0.13706058079624722,0.0,0.0,0.1266590310078992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25099617205778835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148626260401067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745514717275525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635111970829481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793726698306039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650394261789522,0.11368602863487115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941278246454703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642992154914949,0.0,0.0,0.0999242098843158,0.0,0.0,0.12356636755794805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008266894901076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926003164700162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550060290162965,0.3588689519130341,0.1319008437756521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793798882553299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627339528810792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795876202965278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600620842234596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118641980605327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939882935103446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059546770231546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19652036227299152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881372149180241,0.0,0.08924905519713087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275841142308523,0.06630832724254461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184322054291711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bigbigmanmanboy,2019/02/06,I'm thinking really dark thoughts / please help I can't help but feel like I'm boring and I'm going to be boring forever. I also can't help but think that I'm just going to never be happy or overcome my anxiety and the only reason I'm not dead yet is because of my mom. I don't know what to do and I feel trapped.,0.8058215962441331,2.071303971830986,3.8165492957746494,88.77627934272303,79.70422535211267,6.423474178403758,21.6924882629108,7.1686216300943375,0.6207164319248824,246,7,56,3,6,89,43,71,0.203,0.589,0.208,-0.1536,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,1,1,16,20,7,1,0,5,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,7,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,2,6,2,4,17,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046583460630406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18220071023285167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518726696355602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24085355094146,0.17014992093671394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270716948849102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25353821962867296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4789244407877992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089294595229015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163586695347636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27894383430392217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18369270959232226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811403218475751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26144102167949146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257889950039671,0.2448801906815243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052216363115259,0.0,0.1890817378399111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sugarcat13,2019/02/06,"When I don't hear from him I automatically assume the worst Whenever my husband doesn't respond of read my messages for more than 2 hours, I start to break out in cold sweat. I automatically assume that he is either dead or had been in an accident. I can't stop these dark thoughts from entering my mind. ",3.724,5.6449834000000045,5.216666666666669,79.03500000000003,73.33333333333334,8.133333333333335,27.0,8.841846274778883,2.0189,244,9,49,5,5,82,48,60,0.19,0.778,0.031,-0.8913,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,1,0,0,8,9,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,2,9,0,9,6,3,9,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,3,4,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4566977410237566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990472744290586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4091435606870656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053166569663739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868076017439326,0.0,0.0,0.33877119780506393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32168909768294235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skyspor,2019/02/06,"Hi could I get some assistance over here helping this person please? https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/anojfe/why_is_there_voice_in_the_radio_static/

I don't really know what to say to this person, but I don't want to say the wrong thing, if anyone could comment in that thread please? ",18.22714285714286,19.189355523809525,10.019047619047623,60.634285714285724,41.38095238095238,11.257142857142858,30.523809523809533,10.125756701596842,2.6064380952380954,260,4,34,3,2,62,31,42,0.124,0.727,0.149,-0.1638,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,7,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,5,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,0,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030341456927692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38892705182040105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725049539021338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325370867574926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385467756284625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4253358922108947,0.0,0.5347133629548679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603132198555414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873787392502182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181101114897456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14365850414143053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662955627479433,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MentalWalls,2019/02/06,"Does the word wacky or whacky have a negative connotation? Hello there,

I am wanting to organise an event or meet-up involving mental health and sports, and I want to call it Wacky Days. I like to use it in a playful way, trying to turn the wackiness into something positive. I think that everybody is wacky in their own way, and we all should be ok with it.

What are your thoughts? Yay or nay?",3.826666666666668,5.413097662337663,4.5864285714285735,85.0377380952381,72.37662337662337,8.769696969696971,27.119047619047624,9.2995712137729,2.20722683982684,308,11,63,7,6,99,59,77,0.045,0.758,0.198,0.8943,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,1,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,5,2,6,1,0,1,1,17,12,6,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,7,4,8,9,2,7,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,3,3,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883092735690726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820913527788475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470849778898565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001231342570487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379411608771454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845407670204165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21736558411452173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18091744691638584,0.0,0.2241530822120052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916960222678524,0.3071139688060084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438583536216052,0.0,0.0,0.3330727904045411,0.4482300178391693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,99realup,2019/02/06,"Do I have social anxiety?? Please help Hi I’m just wondering if I have social anxiety or not I’m only 15 but I’m too embarrassed to ask my parents to take me to my GP to see if it is. So , I hate going out in public, when I’m at school I feel like everyone is staring at me or judging me, and when I’m at school I’ll always think in my head “you’re fat no one likes you” which will then make me feel sad, i have no friends only acquaintances because I’m too scared to try and start conversations because I feel like I will be rejected. If I try to start a conversation it fails and I start to think about it and feel embarrassed. I can’t go onto a bus because it’s too crowded and I’ll be too worried and feel like there’s too many people on it. I will only go on a bus if someone will come with me so I feel some type of comfort. I can’t even go to a supermarket by myself or I hate going into stores because I get that feeling everyone’s watching me and I get sweaty. I don’t get panic attaches though. My self esteem and confidence is very low right now and it’s affecting everything i do. I have no friends, school makes me very sad I honestly want to do online school to help me focus on my mental health and physical health. What’s wrong with me??? Thank you for reading ",0.3554945054945051,2.4642243846153846,2.827864468864469,90.9963021978022,85.37362637362638,6.277362637362637,21.55421245421245,7.554174236665415,0.8665566300366301,999,34,223,18,30,344,127,273,0.207,0.64,0.154,-0.9616,1,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,1,15,21,2,4,4,0,19,4,2,3,0,40,56,24,0,5,10,1,7,4,2,4,3,0,0,1,9,15,1,0,10,1,1,6,7,12,0,1,0,10,37,9,27,50,1,26,0,5,3,0,16,13,0,9,11,135,46,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693584884585122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146646024873366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864395535654216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254560775781089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964788576440375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061070324905873274,0.0,0.0,0.17670293965601053,0.08309894612103426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272612037644796,0.19816476287954765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287193114132868,0.0,0.14492284532285027,0.0,0.26274162456663913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825743023944293,0.0948927586639052,0.19656571241634252,0.0,0.0,0.12395075240242436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068918696637656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343829880598417,0.09374202602595152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318001879348146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265469126285779,0.21096471117492194,0.0,0.10848431654871432,0.1026681860847922,0.0,0.0,0.06410155696426273,0.0,0.0,0.10149558652527547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248709109710704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896210218978285,0.0,0.0,0.09257066175594476,0.3743062027873008,0.07368029832521487,0.0,0.09645810376658698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18850687176229788,0.07834281147721975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19633538617709376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951996925352294,0.0,0.0,0.08512665096893048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849192142318167,0.09084351387529027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555135170681864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525817815766753,0.054536524228996616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027117025692993,0.0,0.0938997198416038,0.0,0.0,0.10109275811183373,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,headoverbrokenheels,2019/02/06,"My thoughts on my mental health journey - what do you think? Hi all,

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety as a young teen, which changed to bipolar I as an older teen (would have been bipolar II except for  two “suicide attempts”). 

I have been on all sorts of medication for it and none of it ever really worked that well. I never really connected with my diagnosis either. I definitely have anxiety, depression, can see a bit of BPD in me as well, potentially. I’m no psychiatrist though so I won’t self diagnose that. 

Was wondering if any of you choose to live without medication? I’ve been off my meds (my choice, tapered them very very slowly myself) since the beginning of December, so two months now. I have honestly not felt this good in years. 

What I have come to realize, is that I think my main issues concern self/emotional regulation and self esteem. Ever since I was a little kid, I was highly emotional and highly sensitive, and very perfectionist. I was volatile and angry and easily hurt/upset. I also dramatically lashed out for attention, a trend which continued until pretty recently (I’m 23). As a teen/young adult this would involve screaming, crying, yelling, breaking things, running away, drinking heavily, and (only twice) suicide attempts. I never actually wanted to die. I was just so desperate for attention that I would do anything to get it. I always was such a perfectionist, and hated myself so much, didn’t have a shred of self esteem. I sought validation and attention from everyone else since I only ever thought negative things about myself in my head.

Once I realized all of this a few months ago, I’ve been trying to just chill out and let shit go. And holy shit but it has really worked. I think growing up and maturing has helped a lot as well. I’ve learned to recognize my emotions, am getting pretty good at regulating myself, etc. When I feel depressed/anxious/think “stinky” thoughts, I refer to these moments and thoughts as the evil voice in my head / my evil alter ego. I know it sounds nuts, and I don’t actually believe that I have an evil alter ego, I just find it helpful to separate that voice from myself because then it’s so much easier to tell myself that all the negative shit I think about myself isn’t true. Now whenever I think some shit, I just kinda screw my face up (weird I know), let it relax, acknowledge that the thought is there but go “You are not true and I don’t need to listen to you. So you’re going to go away now and I’m going to think about something else.” and I do. I force myself to think about useful things that aren’t some bullshit overthinking nonsense that do me no good. And sometimes it takes a few tries, but it works. 

Has anyone else had an experience like this??? Maturing, growing, and learning how to regulate my emotions and thoughts have worked wonders for me. I obviously did a lot of therapy and stuff to be able to achieve this, but yeah. Not saying I’m doing perfect, just that I think it’s interesting that I feel way better off meds than on. I really don’t think I’m bipolar. I just think I have extreme self/emotional regulation and self esteem issues, with an extremely volatile and sensitive and perfectionistic personality, and some anxiety/depression issues that surface at times. So many of my problems over the years really boil down to self hatred and to extreme attention seeking. Does anyone relate to this??? 

Sorry if none of this makes any sense. Would really appreciate any comments/questions. 
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mentalhealth,cs_phoenix,2019/02/06,"How do I begin to combat unhelpful thinking? Recently I ran across this [explanation ](https://imgur.com/gallery/Z1GgnXf) of unhelpful thinking styles and was a bit surprised when I read through it. I found that I do every single one of these very, very often. How can I begin to manage these thoughts and get back to reality in those moments of clouded thought? I am worried my failure to deal with them will damage relationships that I hold dear to me. Thank you for reading :)",7.277510040160643,9.26352255421687,6.580903614457832,72.51946787148597,64.42168674698793,8.90682730923695,35.52008032128514,9.2995712137729,3.5187767068273086,384,18,60,7,6,118,61,83,0.14300000000000002,0.7440000000000001,0.113,-0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,2,0,12,16,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,5,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,5,0,12,3,13,10,2,9,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,6,48,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030637428373266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418015309120585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283387363690159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660856208953114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428441337613189,0.0,0.0,0.11571546699138825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500822767286581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4430848806398382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186872528603716,0.23778932179226656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20391133257848532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838340909946609,0.0,0.351664736694522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3654925226631425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22492623383758187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cat977,2019/02/06,"My childhood has affected my adult mental health. I hate my family for it and I just want to let go and be better. It’s so hard to get over the resentment I have toward my family. I hate them and its because I feel they have ruined my life and continue to make my life a struggle. My sister and mom would physically beat each other in front of me since I was a toddler up until my sister moved out when I was 11. They would beat each other bloody and I would sit there terrified and praying they wouldn’t kill one another. My sister had mental issues and attempted suicide many times. I came home from school and saw her bed drenched in blood. I didn’t understand what was happening to her and I was worried for her, although I felt no love from her. She made it very clear that she hated me from a very young age. I wasn’t allowed to sit beside her or step foot in her room. I wasn’t allowed to hug her. I was a completely normal kid but when I expressed myself I was told to shut my mouth because I was a freak and no one liked me. So I shut my mouth for years and I still struggle. I have crippling social anxiety which makes my life very hard sometimes. When She was 17 and I was 11, she pressured me to smoke weed and after many attempts, I finally did. It opened a door I wish would never have been opened. I started smoking weed more regularly. I went to parties with grown adults when I was a child. I started drinking heavily at 12-13 and on. I Slept through class/skipped class/was always late and had terrible grades. Was terribly depressed and was bullied at school. I threw my life away at such a young age because I didn’t understand the severity of how it would affect my future. I feel that It was my moms job to protect me from these things and she didn’t care. She never asked for my report card or punished me for having bad grades. My grandfather left me college money in the bank before he died and she used it all for drugs. She never knew when I was high or drunk (at 11 years old mind you). She never came to any school events, she was always hours late to pick me up from school and was always late taking me to school, she stayed locked in her room getting high and ignoring my existence. I remember as a very young child, I used to stick my face under her door and cry and beg for her to open it so I could just talk to her. She told me to shut up and leave her alone. I was Never able to talk to my mother about anything because when she finally did come out of her room, she would pass out mid conversation because she was so high. Every single time. I was isolated and starved of attention and it has effected me as an adult. I constantly need attention from people and I hate being alone. I have very low self esteem and trust issues which makes it hard for me to maintain healthy relationships. I am 21 years old now and when I’m around them I just get so pissed off and I want to hurt them. It’s so toxic. I know I am responsible for my own life but I feel that they have a big part in why I am so fucked up today. I am deeply hurt but I want to learn how to forgive. I need to learn how to let the anger go and stop thinking about the past because I don’t want to be this person anymore. Im so tired of feeling so much hate. Its ruining me. 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mentalhealth,q-l-p,2019/02/06,"Diagnosis thoughts? I was diagnosed with drug induced psychosis a while back, after this incident I have read body language as a form of communication (which I know isn’t right but I can’t control it) , and I analyze and sound out words in my head to make different meanings from them (which again I can’t stop doing even though I know it’s not healthy and doesn’t make sense) I also imagine hearing things from other people speaking and I can’t control it. What do you think is wrong with me ? I just want my brain to be at peace ",4.9548571428571435,5.802113247619048,5.319047619047621,83.64428571428573,68.9047619047619,8.285714285714286,31.190476190476193,8.418075326091056,2.1914761904761906,421,17,85,6,7,134,75,105,0.104,0.833,0.063,-0.612,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,2,6,1,0,0,2,0,11,5,3,5,0,24,20,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,9,7,0,3,7,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,3,15,0,12,17,1,9,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,63,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15669473906019918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066729596458128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176473795540958,0.0,0.21873606337366155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395312074008843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19887699587349847,0.0,0.20471767601003407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22723050158656016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941783679299454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010930115818203,0.0,0.22084086399300198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536918737378646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615856004286853,0.0,0.0,0.21343827008442495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584150485795046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19599501524697285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733338933073666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381627781102334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017515194014534,0.12555171576104435,0.1925120108749213,0.1555560535731547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557166271513797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423180719008636,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kaddosa,2019/02/06,"Am I the only person whose mental illness affecting their academic life? Amongst all the people I know who suffer from any kind of mental illness are somehow able to manage their academic life although they’re enduring just as much as I do. While I, on the other hand, is completely crippled from attending my classes and pulling through to perform my work. 
This is my third attempt in university and I’m facing the same crippling difficulties every single time. I already tried two semesters, however, I end up dropping the semester just few weeks in because I pass the allowed absences and I could never attend my quizzes. 
Dropping out of uni isn’t an option for me. I was an A+ student up until my second year of university, and that’s when my mental health we went down hill. 
Can anyone tell me how to maneuver my way through this situation and still sustain my grades?",7.215279503105592,8.072129565217395,7.252975155279504,71.73822049689444,63.90683229813664,9.669813664596274,38.460248447204975,9.642632912329526,3.9843734161490687,704,36,113,13,10,226,113,161,0.07200000000000001,0.908,0.02,-0.8053,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,2,3,6,2,0,0,9,0,9,7,2,3,2,19,12,12,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,1,0,3,2,1,22,1,21,9,5,24,0,1,0,0,7,7,0,2,9,89,28,7,0.17995772310749025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19858782238138026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237742272636565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583062422223135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970055769912876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886822488392432,0.0,0.0,0.14368159860812876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593891283911488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162214323101506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128664446074856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873982759759175,0.09890005831883633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25421892362592585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5440651751524695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228963268501032,0.0,0.1387944901022214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686595762882295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476002641225538,0.15713214252449806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20228002070584733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437144701345093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729098195366956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493479552565148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221794812547984,0.0,0.1757925465961354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284206426020035,0.1443512305943052,0.0,0.0,0.16682261223992134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101136570839084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588687353550975
mentalhealth,superwholockwpotter,2019/02/06,"What does this mean? I was talking with a teacher today about how to do some homework and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I started to get really hot and sweaty and my heart started racing and I got very sad and almost broke down into tears. What does this mean??? It's kinda concerning to me.",1.7678531073446315,4.012114627118645,3.0450000000000017,90.74569209039551,80.6949152542373,5.289265536723164,21.69774011299436,6.42735559955562,0.4143875706214693,229,7,46,2,6,74,44,59,0.149,0.851,0.0,-0.8299,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,1,1,15,8,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,5,0,10,6,2,7,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,3,4,32,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521679737808139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4407503271333033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156901004024082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20140874493085276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29841574551857314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5486260078947603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132657484717552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564883416088392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20240869021134825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23870218110392635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20778332678499534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,okayrightsickcool,2019/02/06,"My best friend’s older brother has been gradually losing sense of reality, coping with alcohol, and won’t seek help. So we don’t know what to do.

My best friend’s older brother has always been introverted and socially different. It was never really a problem throughout high school until he got to college and had a psychotic break (on hallucinogens) and was Baker Acted (taken against his will to a mental institution). 

At the institution, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. His mother brushed it off as a side effect of the drugs he took and didn’t seek any further treatment.

Now 5 years later, he’s been coping with instability and delusions via alcohol abuse. There’s been times where he’s gone missing or injured himself from falling while drunk. He started hanging out with homeless people. During the holidays, he was supposed to drive my friend to their family home, and he instead got black out wasted. My friend ended up driving and the brother was upset the entire time about seeing family.

During the holidays, her mother complained that it would be too expensive to put him in therapy or rehab. Her dad offered to bring him back to Florida to seek help. Nothing came from the conversations.

Today, she asked me what to do. He’s apparently having a mental break and not speaking coherently. He’s been on a series of benders, disappearing and what not. 

She doesn’t know what to do. He laughs at her when she suggests rehab or seeing a doctor. They’re in NYC.",6.078358208955227,7.967845194029852,6.719582089552244,70.75340298507466,67.20895522388061,9.09134328358209,32.056716417910444,9.516144504307137,3.333017313432837,1184,50,185,25,20,388,156,268,0.085,0.8059999999999999,0.109,0.8349,3,0,3,0,1,0,33.0,1,0,1,4,9,12,0,1,14,0,24,9,0,1,1,29,38,18,0,2,5,6,0,0,4,3,8,1,1,0,8,18,3,0,3,3,1,11,7,5,0,0,18,5,18,7,34,16,2,42,0,2,3,0,43,14,0,3,15,125,26,3,0.0,0.15186806904796096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739631716082968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665302901065386,0.0,0.0,0.08716434426131296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982762720344013,0.0,0.0,0.09855973624368523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690264383374293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659964981247098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009634328896658,0.0,0.13391705228925285,0.0,0.13119397204113267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864392540871274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352624159818588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24166659644479999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39611506067489016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050287451545053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182787205422526,0.13542539916447505,0.12857137549998804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088478967305007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339660025541262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583433184056006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988575379945224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298870836996825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888613736911575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264749984452394,0.0,0.12885267998437894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211308106891428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297213552057092,0.2042799842382328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065969352631715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072391241920028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465808788797407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494813739073422,0.0,0.12149623561326435,0.0,0.14240869156523342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105283376663664,0.0,0.0,0.08254139624105808
mentalhealth,mentalthrowaway0001,2019/02/06,"Mental Health questions/rant Using a throwaway for obvious reasons. Just looking to rant realistically and get some shit off my chest. I'm depressed and lost and don't know where to go anymore. I'm married, been married for over 10 years. I care for my wife but don't love and respect her. She got pregnant early in our relationship during the honeymoon period and we just fell into that stage of pregnancy and living together as parents and marriage made sense. But we're not a match, sexually we're quite different as well as personality wise. She's fun and goofy and I'm morose and severe. Most say opposites attract but we're so different the only thing we actually have in common is we're the same age. So I did what any piece of shit does, I cheated and just carried on. Every time the guilt or unhappiness got too much, I'd blow up and try to vocalize how I felt and every time I found myself still fucking married to this poor woman. Now here I am, more than 10 years later, with a job I dislike that pays the bills with benefits for my family. A wife that's severely overweight and doesn't work outside the home. 2 young girls I love and am trying to figure out how to be an involved father to. I got really depressed last year and went to therapy when the suicidal thoughts got to be too much. It helped for a while and, while I didn't confess to my wife, I did tell her it's over. 10 minutes later we're back together and trying to work on our marriage. She guilted me instantly and I just went along with it. Why? Because she had 10 years of no fucking work, no savings or anything. So instead of breaking up my family and leaving my wife destitute I stayed and decided I'll give it time and see how it goes. A few weeks later my job moved me basically across the country with my family in tow. My mental health and marriage went to the back burner. Then we got a damn puppy because I'm fucking weak willed, guilty and dumb. So my overweight wife that was supposed to be going back to work and exercising instead is devoted to this dog and can't obviously leave him alone. We still haven't worked on our marriage realistically or my own mental health because I'm stuck in the work routine. I lost 30 pounds over the last year and feeling physically better and a little more attractive but of course now she's worried I'll just leave her. Which is an understandable worry as I've already tried to leave her once.  I want to be happy but feel trapped. I'm thinking again of just hopping off a bridge or drive into the ocean which I know is wrong but I just feel trapped. I can stay with my marriage which is a lie or leave my wife with no home, no savings, job or even family here. If I leave her I have to stay in my job which I hate because I'll have to pay to support her. If I stay with her I still have to stay in this job to pay the bills.  I just don't know where to go and am stuck in a holding pattern.

TL:DR I'm a frustrated POS.",3.779690359975597,5.031162548657722,4.977291031116536,83.50381330079318,72.00335570469798,7.9014032946918835,28.310555216595482,8.367750914986694,1.9054543624161075,2333,88,474,37,44,772,257,596,0.213,0.7120000000000001,0.076,-0.9984,10,3,0,0,0,0,49.0,7,0,0,10,35,34,10,2,27,0,30,15,3,6,2,96,78,58,1,3,23,8,4,0,0,1,7,1,2,3,18,44,2,1,15,1,6,9,12,18,1,0,22,7,61,16,68,51,10,72,1,4,2,5,45,24,7,10,32,300,79,14,0.0,0.0,0.056078600786133435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059517524077247225,0.06341524406678035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039078902408991166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056990905991111424,0.0,0.0,0.047289684282277006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256359627657005,0.0,0.14012314667295406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082407446420272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058590494595020325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899089444347496,0.0,0.0,0.1200796371879377,0.0,0.0,0.050288950536162114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0379558013519771,0.0,0.0968352953733247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669560915107,0.0,0.08716972436125416,0.0,0.05517644503231029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300858642052562,0.0,0.15937938434152507,0.03002365298757616,0.0551266966527916,0.0979778862252755,0.0,0.2298043537994874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117370668797325,0.0,0.05673585300503538,0.0,0.18325125528439007,0.0,0.0,0.03851829954127245,0.0,0.11528631984406115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851310673174798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947455578287644,0.09368504398949633,0.0,0.3650896634710769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057596105228282166,0.0507435981083784,0.0,0.04825703080350503,0.0,0.1254620210984455,0.0,0.10373075478457858,0.054375790768236607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737368659205581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107734456487041,0.08448835627104627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061199495658889026,0.0,0.04370554046761738,0.0,0.0,0.06380927696403041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017716116444735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611222456735697,0.0,0.0,0.03681423991412868,0.059084697290949936,0.0,0.061697059755835525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045699330310457024,0.0,0.0,0.04579302257023544,0.0,0.0,0.12984061806639352,0.11797620281095232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062559556009353,0.13767744804621662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285856023682168,0.06521182226339342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022788351513105,0.0,0.06571746634831227,0.0,0.038177907546906587,0.03682194124793195,0.0,0.04562164547661305,0.1005267934794698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606277425905488,0.0,0.0,0.05982421197004945,0.0,0.04963223902900928,0.0,0.0,0.03389498063508758,0.0,0.04609582002413985,0.0,0.05166890389849983,0.15981488508498362,0.051854195490508674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510159273300577,0.11671917969348986,0.0,0.0,0.0628301331445383,0.0,0.1850313448544947
mentalhealth,Sousana9617,2019/02/06,"I can't stop crying and can't retreive sleep Hello everyone I'm new to this sub, hope I find some good advice here, thank you for reading me.

It's 6 am now and I can't sleep. I was sleeping for an hour or so and then I began to think about my life and boom my night is ruined. I can't understand this phenomenon. Why I'm thinking in my sleep?
I overthink a lot when I'm sleeping and it result as me woke and crying a lot and no sleep at all.

A short story here of ""why I'm sad?"".
I can't find peace. Every day is a new day when I say tomorrow is gonna be better but today I started to lost hopes. After 5 years living in the capital next to my uni, I've to move back to my parent house. I was living in a shit hole and paying a lot so my mom suggested I could go back home. At first I thought it was a good idea until I've done that. Now I'm home, in my bed, crying. I don't understand why I'm like this. Before moving out and when I was planning I was happy, I thought I will retrieve myself here, save some money and have a better health (the flat where I was living was pretty bad and affecting my health). Now that I'm here (so after all the work), I'm very sad. I'm not gonna see my boyfriend like before (he can't see me here often and we were used to see each other every day or two), I'm gonna miss my liberty, I'm very anxious that my mom and dad will start dictating my way of life. All of this scare the shit out of me. And it's nearly 7 AM. I've no sleep and I'm crying in my bed. When I was alone I hade problems and I said that moving out will be the best for me. Now that I'm here I can't understand why I've chosen this. Today my sister and my dad said that they didn't understand my decision and I didn't have to go back home. It was just my mom decision... I can't go back to the city, I've nowhere to go, not enough money to have something decent and I just moved out today, I can't go back now...

What can I do? I'm freaking out, and I can't control myself. I've no one to tell this because I was the one telling this idea was good. I'm feeling like a shit right now",-0.4901028368794336,1.206540704255325,2.187898936170214,96.81645833333332,85.57446808510639,5.108156028368795,17.238475177304963,6.21433560688645,-0.4716205673758864,1601,35,399,14,48,556,177,470,0.121,0.731,0.14800000000000002,0.8938,2,1,1,0,0,0,55.0,1,1,1,8,29,26,3,1,17,0,42,14,10,4,3,68,89,33,0,4,7,7,1,3,0,6,4,4,5,0,20,27,0,2,15,1,3,9,18,12,0,4,22,8,57,14,37,58,11,63,0,5,3,0,18,16,3,10,40,245,77,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743298712953936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060871836151969165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639756064575082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259667674176651,0.04907359110938427,0.03582790681238679,0.0,0.10002419305384716,0.0,0.06167938038175464,0.10396113686937224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659197110293325,0.04692602329065173,0.0,0.2582406332692633,0.11371253808604398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014590896779936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072895145362229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903876757443893,0.05616079658156052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02971775266190921,0.04198794866071676,0.0,0.0,0.10743620847335908,0.04999288590733655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701226317480622,0.14788979303731256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625657049423948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494740621083085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686446338904346,0.11675110684576195,0.057880263210535174,0.0678169677968893,0.0,0.13269672449676134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830272160565988,0.08614159470233572,0.0,0.15569478255541608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415844501266006,0.14990191404317735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650516902090474,0.0,0.2498686004562113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352802664614485,0.06250650511502515,0.055155143415336484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965317108461911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526124721332208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979399045432152,0.0,0.05623850088884815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587896128908369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019242540464377,0.1118145104956289,0.04673921151865095,0.05884273475491353,0.0,0.1405051071940218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809910996470317,0.0,0.0,0.411713074918048,0.0,0.0,0.04524687175789383,0.0,0.0,0.08320066590341965,0.0,0.0,0.049137451509122534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274162250516328,0.05411093372914341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753196376762055,0.0,0.09331951795680474,0.0,0.0,0.16713180855353596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741337245552145,0.24474201072175736,0.0,0.05076161296810716,0.0,0.09698892858105636,0.0,0.046651833632784426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121365188238465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042787959335971834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037848340909957576
mentalhealth,itshallowweenn,2019/02/06,"Mental Health Awareness This is my first time posting something but I feel that this is important.(disregard my username) I am a high school student that is trying to convince the school board to incorporate social workers into our schools. To give some backstory, a few years ago a student at our school had committed suicide. This made a huge impact on our school and since then a club was created to help advocate for mental awareness. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share their story about dealing with mental health issues and how it impacted them during high school. This would be greatly appreciated! ",6.724444444444442,9.390666259259262,6.134444444444448,72.45500000000001,66.96296296296296,8.133333333333335,33.2962962962963,8.841846274778883,3.235196296296296,508,23,75,9,9,156,75,108,0.052000000000000005,0.764,0.184,0.931,0,0,1,0,0,1,9.0,3,0,2,2,2,3,0,0,6,0,12,2,0,2,1,14,16,6,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,10,3,11,7,2,12,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,3,5,55,17,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466828847412188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256230398691222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217323794237732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970336590825132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043638205391199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327038254480387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301804988111369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25102102427327,0.0,0.0,0.07914463932956038,0.24951002988739074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324188999666975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117274749888805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569820515258529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308529108511442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7170024104953828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767465672825287,0.0,0.0,0.1203648068898608,0.0,0.0909015756170476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291572613009061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885174845586316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016664889547373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804965603391436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775727016210046,0.0,0.0,0.07603782735777916
mentalhealth,Peonypine,2019/02/06,"Does anyone else feel flat out stupid all the time? (Rant) I just feel so embarrassed at the fact that I cannot do a lot of things. My mind often feels blank or foggy, I have a hard time putting my words on paper, and all my friends are considered those ‘super smart elite students’ but me. I feel like I’m incapable and am never motivated to do anything. I especially feel really sad in university level courses (I’m 17, I have to take those courses because I want to go to university) where I just know that everyone else is better than me and that I’m probably not the most incapable student but I am certainly not halfway close to the best. 

Ugh I just hate feeling this way and I want to feel good for once. ",3.566024327784888,5.053960992957748,4.900883482714471,82.9181882202305,72.8732394366197,8.543918053777206,27.697823303457106,9.095868883498916,2.2114985915492955,559,21,114,12,11,186,90,142,0.179,0.648,0.174,-0.4359,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,6,13,2,1,6,0,9,0,0,1,5,35,25,8,0,2,8,0,8,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,9,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,0,8,16,8,13,25,5,13,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,4,4,72,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159532091151014,0.16991392271057815,0.13646515771604262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010893157810702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402988104335104,0.14666444580448704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512022379611433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770618032635963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584590618111974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5869455643089366,0.11847002459253625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812097077661075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942458374685298,0.13909155664077025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855241107004008,0.16372422962840644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113663080528264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810168724466553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409839728590059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744249632438832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789944128722974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176605087430506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787943562985408,0.0,0.0,0.16670641523843568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623587643533118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468461618693648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110171050065768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933953099930113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562337741734315,0.13162929016662595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flugelbinder01,2019/02/07,"Writer seeking mental health professional Hi guys. First up I want to say what a great and helpful community you have here. I really hope it brings at least one of you some inner peace.

I okay'd this with the admin/moderator. Basically I am writing a story that involves someone who was sectioned (this is what we call it in the UK, I'm not so sure about the USA). I'm hoping there's someone out there who works in the mental health field that can field some questions I have (typically about protocol, as I want the story to have accuracies). It's inspired by my sister, who for the last 6/7 years has suffered with a lot of mental health issues, and to this day is in a care facility. However I am leaning towards setting the story in the USA, and now seek to get my research done. Here's where you come in (hopefully). Anything you tell me will be kept in confidence, and no names will be used. I just want to pick your brain if you work in the mental health field.

Hope to hear from you. I usually check reddit everyday, so will reply as soon as I can. Thank you so much.",4.343364779874214,5.458749500000002,5.3399245283018875,81.95098742138366,70.50943396226415,8.294842767295599,27.34088050314465,8.648137234880735,1.8876216352201256,842,28,168,14,15,277,125,212,0.036000000000000004,0.8029999999999999,0.161,0.9764,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,8,0,3,13,10,0,0,13,0,17,5,1,2,1,30,34,11,0,8,3,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,13,9,0,1,2,0,1,2,2,1,0,2,3,2,22,9,29,26,6,25,0,1,0,0,24,14,0,9,8,120,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920022926757543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248063424066862,0.11416081947405328,0.0,0.11398806977801015,0.0,0.0,0.09630623878953187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721020791146764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441073675285332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509745562448664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058411151423006825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326045558093088,0.0,0.11070008090768776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4753548510703384,0.12600729876817315,0.0,0.07493752435764597,0.0,0.0,0.4441725257851217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166906844448572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911323364416374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504879451027837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4506744682153847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218623785838397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575891814496741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524215654190826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162226871716428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889082518972189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894564165051666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053706563867204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771857244931212,0.1029308875795785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655974343248544,0.1231324653248158,0.0,0.19782851012585784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278420380679734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199586210759101
mentalhealth,respect-,2019/02/07,"No one else to talk to Im a 20f and I did so bad on an exam yesterday. I will fail this exam and once I do, I’ll get kicked out of a school I’ve been working all my life to get into. Once that happens, I have no clue if I’ll be able to cope with it. I just want to disappear... 

I am just at a terribly dark place right now and I have no one to talk to. I’ve been watching youtube videos all day to stop myself from thinking about it. I’m begging you to pray for me so that a miracle happens... Thank you. ",0.6042801932367183,1.4150008869565234,3.0402898550724657,96.0238164251208,79.26086956521739,6.502415458937199,22.342995169082126,6.937597516519254,0.3031835748792271,382,11,101,4,9,133,72,115,0.173,0.74,0.087,-0.8809999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,2,6,4,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,0,2,14,17,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,3,0,2,3,1,12,1,18,12,2,11,1,1,1,0,4,6,0,1,4,65,17,5,0.2070165598255428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285018036684754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350855503478112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293577194948134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21631521643086915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661281203420793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236134088316084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622191841179474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4409317598491656,0.280559557136933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21628824378896785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679101097174774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095118106301044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730751136020871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327841382797137,0.0,0.19059303473538536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264785257388798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210373059922258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071052110832306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,opiedopie08,2019/02/07,Movies about romantic emotional abuse I m looking for suggestions for movies addressing emotional abuse in romantic relationships in teenagers and young adults. I’m a smidge long in the tooth and remember “Fear” and “Waitress”.,12.035833333333334,13.09801758333334,9.457777777777778,59.315,53.72222222222222,16.088888888888892,48.55555555555557,14.554592549557764,8.03598888888889,187,11,26,8,2,55,26,36,0.257,0.5529999999999999,0.19,-0.7184,0,0,0,0,2,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,6,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,12,1,0,0.0,0.5948930282835468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5647822280842221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28249469817531564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216635766344414,0.21081403428372966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26952769065989296,0.28438432038671285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wisetrash,2019/02/07,"Does anyone else feel like this? Do you ever feel like you constantly want to disappear? I wish I could forget everyone I ever met and just start over. 

I feel obligated to keep contact with ""friends"". All I ever do is help them and when I'm with them I'll be fine; laughing, smiling and seemingly be content. All the while I'm wondering whether I'm genuinely happy or not.

 I just wish I could forget them so I can be conscious free of leaving them. I wish I could leave and never come back. To not have that connection to everyone. The feeling is so overwhelming I feel aggitated and numb most days. 

Am I crazy? Plz tell me wtf is wrong with me.

Thanks for reading.  
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mentalhealth,beangirll21,2019/02/07,"I want to die... but like... not really??? January was a weird month for me. During winter break I was myself and being happy!! January comes and I see that I’m relapsing. Relapsing is the worst feeling ever, especially when you know you’re going back to square one. In this case for me, the back of my mind I knew what to do in scenarios and to help me get back on the happy train again. The thing is, my mother is one horrible human being and makes my life a living hell. 

My mother and I used to be like bestfriends. Ever since I was diagnosed with depression over a year ago, she’s been the dumbest person ever. She doesn’t take mental health seriously and it frightens me bc my little brother (13) watches what we say in arguments and is somehow dragged into it. Sometimes I wish I can run away and take him with me. Sometimes I wish she was dead and my little brother and I would finally be happy. Other times I wish she was understanding, open minded, and actually cared about us more than making money and impressing relatives who aren’t any better. How does one continue to be happy when she projects her negativity towards me? How do I become fully happy about being alive when all she does is criticize me and put me down every. single. day. Everyday I want to die when I enter my front door. Home isn’t home. It’s never been my safe place and now it’s worse. My mental health will always come first before education; my mother doesn’t agree. Our arguments start from me missing my morning classes because of the side effects of my new medicine and relapsing that’s been occurring for about 3 wks now. “School comes first”, she says. Well screw that. My mental health is my top priority and has been since day 1 when I was diagnosed w depression. Now that I am doing better with communication, expressing my feelings and coping in healthy ways, why do her words hurt me so much? Why does she make me want to die?",3.271257551669315,5.524188008108113,4.600063593004768,81.46508744038158,75.67567567567569,7.596184419713832,24.39586645468999,8.4952907291091,1.7915564387917329,1513,50,280,30,34,500,196,370,0.195,0.633,0.172,-0.9468,1,0,0,0,0,3,48.0,3,1,0,6,23,22,2,0,9,0,35,7,0,7,5,57,62,26,4,7,2,5,2,2,0,2,6,2,3,2,14,26,0,1,6,0,1,8,7,9,1,5,11,7,58,13,32,43,5,56,1,4,3,1,27,16,2,1,32,199,72,3,0.0,0.0,0.07299153865620492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663034419546943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223748489481661,0.0,0.0,0.05086484284274901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027468293741149,0.17254390670209796,0.0,0.045595841968372665,0.08260792636113835,0.06364713578411517,0.0,0.0,0.1323045633776581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626100314856768,0.0,0.0,0.19329418580010127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647635744847682,0.0,0.12884589838357474,0.15183571016082653,0.23288388693306725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19636730369071012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029757748816588,0.06302009239213041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563969400295148,0.0,0.0,0.08193696962050613,0.0,0.1272453753611819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039078589638866915,0.0,0.042509124512213885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981164752565155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23851863092839634,0.0,0.0,0.05013516583019437,0.0,0.1500559171139333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007223600131505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04110673203810263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052831663348551834,0.07308452894962097,0.14993342495294693,0.0660475341923738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978367118763994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261347641894806,0.0,0.15104823971172404,0.0,0.059702624982249264,0.0,0.054984744950004036,0.0,0.057688418085699585,0.07223986024421028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205409933961322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653102635845189,0.07814743375153617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519211407847907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04791717300577465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896389667922,0.0,0.07569903039832071,0.05960389756989633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374647617224713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795321592989352,0.0,0.05294203250640546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124767738632046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04969211384482526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043615004828814134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786680158518874,0.08997214388328806,0.06460099651016482,0.0,0.0,0.1323524528748087,0.05937074819899438,0.0,0.0,0.06725190613464165,0.0,0.1349861609089137,0.0,0.25804018891580816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622500955132676,0.05313397489737693,0.0,0.0,0.048167116765495316
mentalhealth,xxzzccvv,2019/02/07,"Feel like I live my life through a filter I don’t know why but, for the past couple months it feels like everything that happens to me day to days just feel like such a blur, I can’t concentrate on anything (hobbies, problems, gym, sex, eating, ect) I feel like the only times I’m in my own life is when I really concentrate and think about it, only then does this weird filter/fog kinda leave and I really perceive what’s happening in my life. Why could this be happening and how could I make it stop, could smoking cbd/thc a lot cause issues like this?",4.9566795366795375,5.375990819819823,5.3708622908622905,84.79945945945947,68.72972972972974,8.865379665379669,26.66795366795367,8.841846274778883,1.747395366795367,435,12,90,7,7,139,74,111,0.078,0.778,0.14400000000000002,0.7373,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,5,0,7,5,0,3,0,23,18,7,0,4,2,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,3,1,1,7,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,11,5,8,14,2,11,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,13,50,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776071822965924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452175416055231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31365883387057164,0.14489371910628554,0.0,0.16890387413784178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459525499144872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399457389958236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176894445737002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648490820670196,0.37420291457374105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34739604106534244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667781096288034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196671265381913,0.0,0.0,0.13865717562921845,0.0,0.0,0.27748163962809874,0.31987785416034914,0.0,0.11563127689912213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132903393384826,0.0,0.0,0.08741016284634627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452306577894957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918679952663504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500662233796872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253014949236726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777988664696064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948008985875066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390749263205707,0.0,0.0,0.07635801641932419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23632407084487805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,halfashell,2019/02/07,"It comes and goes... All of my life, I have had a very bad problem with remembering things and easily lose things ie. remotes and phones. I now have fixed that by assigning designated spots for them to go when I'm done. I also used to be a very talkative child; to the point of where my teachers would complain about it to my parents every single year (up until the 6th grade). Since then, I've had a problem focusing on things in general. I found in school I would sleep when I didn't want to listen to the teacher to the point when she asked me if I had narcolepsy or just daydream and not take in anything at all that had to do with school but that was normal then. Now I have trouble focusing on school, home, friends you name it. I can't think about one specific thing without thinking of about 3 other things within that thought. That's just the surface of my problems because of my terrible inattention, I have mediocre grades at the moment. any ideas on why ",5.43452380952381,6.026704476190478,5.536626984126986,83.42017857142856,67.73015873015873,8.839682539682537,31.093915343915334,8.841846274778883,2.34723597883598,762,29,152,12,12,240,116,189,0.119,0.8490000000000001,0.031,-0.9258,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,2,12,9,0,0,9,0,16,2,1,1,2,32,28,14,0,8,7,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,1,14,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,8,0,1,9,1,19,1,32,16,3,26,0,1,0,0,11,14,0,2,10,113,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248002416799043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714513206036123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054550032839114,0.0,0.11980121557294013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699834718549568,0.0781179189331483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038827873131557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114004302597615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079703379984248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050782509413726,0.09900693788885773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282954320412892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854303662904626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466365592070368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051482364177632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433649937043251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555797233726146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683649862856653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229334819872555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422828337553389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678614000278092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516686575327375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38907828859103744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060054686630385,0.0,0.1282406906939204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635145578189508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4256796621542222,0.16422431209488667,0.0,0.10173531176135862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067885119617114,0.0,0.2114712785199168,0.07558509532111359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563376746386005,0.0,0.0,0.12353023748905555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18206552897996056,0.0,0.0,0.08252320300040608
mentalhealth,Megadave020,2019/02/07,I tried killing myself earlier I'm sick of living and I just want to die.,-1.6895833333333314,-0.03395912499999909,1.2399999999999984,95.67166666666668,109.0,4.633333333333333,17.833333333333332,6.42735559955562,0.19048333333333334,58,2,13,1,3,20,14,16,0.53,0.411,0.059,-0.9062,0,0,0,0,0,2,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5262272382078208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5609643900583533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44772541328905213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34424672623202524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29906519795574604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ronin-Mars,2019/02/07,"Feels like I shouldn't be here anymore. Hey everyone. Been ages since I've been on here. Been extremely low. I'm not out of the woods yet, just at a place I think I can share. 

Everyday just been kicked in the balls. In every part of my life. Financially, more than half my military pension was cut. A week before Christmas. My wife's hours at work have been cut back ""for the foreseeable future"", we got hit with $2000+ of medical appts at once for the kids. There was only one thing that kept my sanity from completely slipping away was my woodworking, which I can no longer afford to do. 

Family, still having issues with my parents accepting that I need a 2 week in patient stay thus won't help with school drop offs and the like for my kids. Things went nuclear between my wife and her brother which resulted in a rift in the family. Which ended up with my father in law living with us, but will be out soon. 

There was a TAFE (eqiv to trade school maybe) in furniture making that looked awesome. But my wife works the night it is on. Hey, how about we get a babysitter? Damn! Can no longer afford a babysitter. Which probably was for the best. I found out the course was $4000. They have a payment plan. But that's 4 fortnightly payments of $1000. 

This all equaled me most likely having to go back to work. But I need rehab clearance and my GP and psychiatrist will not clear me. There's more but I think I've taken up enough of your time. 

I have been circling the drain for this entire time. Quite a few suicidal thoughts, some progressed past ideation (15 years since that's happened) and SO many self harm thoughts, and maybe a few small cuts here and there. 

Oh yeah, and I got through most of it thinking ""it's all good. I see my psych next week"". Cancels the day of due to illness. 6 weeks till next appt. 

I just feel like the world is done with me. I can't do anything without being stomped back into the dirt. I am just so tired. So tired. 

Sorry for the bit of an essay. I just needed to vent to people who understand. ",1.8464545025931187,4.176963881188122,2.560933521923623,93.83453795379542,80.98019801980197,5.926826968411128,21.005186232909004,7.1686216300943375,0.480111692597831,1584,46,338,21,42,493,224,404,0.133,0.799,0.068,-0.9786,3,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,3,1,1,7,23,14,4,0,25,1,34,6,0,4,3,59,59,18,1,4,13,6,2,4,0,4,6,0,0,3,17,20,0,1,10,1,1,2,8,6,0,2,21,4,36,8,54,30,14,53,0,1,2,0,20,24,1,3,29,220,53,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407561189148336,0.0,0.0,0.07806168208142067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912407510604796,0.21882441097179486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071885738652691,0.0,0.09954969806242704,0.0,0.10356253114706723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945888569014752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117684041957125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707469563370988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401778756842115,0.09801571843682497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992362559000961,0.09064277734368333,0.0,0.0,0.17885109624563691,0.0,0.09592811361840696,0.1355359793034332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040090733572976,0.0,0.0,0.049560425069647286,0.0,0.05391111346732238,0.07956405178012194,0.15173638546743234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388436825434062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358264595635324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341797357106757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990091751637225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700241019155301,0.1853751813579105,0.0,0.08376310147386938,0.0,0.07965849326231009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331977417090633,0.09617313225640006,0.19059920268838326,0.0,0.0,0.09556145146405068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21101242268019474,0.0,0.0,0.2017693327210849,0.08901966653366063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102278427470716,0.06427957837863013,0.07214529039388078,0.0,0.0,0.10533078340043472,0.10272411579672198,0.09055458585773377,0.06576396710327688,0.0,0.09910849062413946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022751040113163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089526674342494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19200673097831408,0.07559112359658407,0.0,0.09895964877244466,0.0,0.0,0.15693831370689587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618798285372832,0.0,0.10110811862882996,0.07575530366561646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376142323161096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260415131414785,0.18234733737019648,0.0,0.15061645850578614,0.1106272359727577,0.2180551882584089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875258603339232,0.11410487779856615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30436382078831936,0.0,0.0,0.0879361531006474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144163696388803,0.0,0.20717758866446453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06108671790199486
mentalhealth,MooseCanoe32,2019/02/07,"Any advice for getting started with therapy/medication? I'm (23)F and I want to finally get some help. 
I'm undiagnosed but fairly certain I'm painfully depressed and that I've lived with dissasociative episodes ny whole life.  
My father was diagnosed with clinical depression and has self harmed in the past. My mother has BPD and schizophrenia.
I've never done therapy, a general care physician prescribed me Buspirone for anxiety and Zoloft for depression a few years ago. I finished out my prescriptions and havent been to a doctor since. 
I dont remember how the medication affected me. 
I live in KY, and I am insured.
As far as I can tell I need to have an evaluation with a gen. care to rule out anything physical and get a referral. 
I'm very nervous about starting this and confused with the search/paperwork/cost. 
Anyone with starter advice or suggestions let me hear it. And thank you in advance. ",4.136630049610209,6.990928644578313,5.136307583274273,75.62984762579731,75.80722891566266,8.966123316796597,33.2586817859674,9.478462496947786,3.8691648476258,729,39,121,21,17,238,108,166,0.18600000000000005,0.716,0.098,-0.9571,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,1,2,11,0,2,9,0,11,8,0,2,2,30,26,15,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,3,18,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,3,1,14,4,21,22,3,16,0,3,0,0,8,6,0,3,9,75,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767113880126722,0.12550698669157506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628298268581778,0.0,0.10831250591536508,0.0,0.0,0.09899986078661346,0.0,0.11651278752191052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783219576863336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28871166941208226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36584210359866,0.14370628351000336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491873994544024,0.0,0.14489110514333328,0.1659371300042537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509997448904336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219177112893552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957712792362966,0.0,0.09490176384703683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478074768312024,0.10000601285995543,0.0,0.0,0.2500451485024817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726955193603698,0.14263247720056907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498384061029048,0.10919945190609064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150656934979853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351593629531576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038875025395144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770453599296693,0.0,0.0,0.11712097351365272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20042986527748202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375195158295847,0.13035288888144833,0.161915337548338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682285038123393,0.08351078542250477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807513393802852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117640811150304
mentalhealth,aqua_not_capri,2019/02/07,"Steps to finding a psychologist? I'm starting the process of looking for a psychologist. I'm looking through my insurance provider's website to find doctors who are in network. There are many listings of people accepting patients, but I'm already overwhelmed. I'm not sure who to go with (I'm looking at their specialities) because I'm not sure what's going on with me exactly, 

For those who've done therapy, how did you find your doctor? Did you have to go through a few people before you found a match?",4.5384375000000015,6.661707635416668,5.192083333333336,79.21125000000002,71.60416666666666,7.716666666666668,37.0,8.472884824447931,3.3664000000000005,407,24,71,7,8,131,61,96,0.062,0.903,0.035,-0.5149,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,4,1,0,2,5,0,1,5,0,6,2,0,1,3,14,20,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,4,3,7,4,15,16,1,8,0,1,3,0,7,3,0,0,1,43,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970676874400605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479463484196183,0.0,0.1462826008972406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519139844599549,0.0,0.17592343869051494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713674020112471,0.0,0.0,0.1884902519712442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931009487969721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330828738878193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428958211750806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383612569519261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167866026354784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32404595468468955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965938690995602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thr0waway4cc0unt1234,2019/02/07,"I think I’m declining again and I’m scared I don’t usually post stuff like this but I don’t know who to talk to. Sorry for the long post I just think writing something out might help me rn. When I was 12 I became severely depressed, anxious and suicidal triggered by a mixture of developing chronic fatigue syndrome after a bad case of glandular fever, my horrendous school life and lack of friends and possibility the state of the house (my mum has fibromyalgia and my dad died when I was 9 so we struggled). I don’t know how but my mental health started improving slowly (no longer suicidal but still depressed and anxious) and then I met a boy at school I liked when I was 14 (let’s call him B) and we got together. Basically he was my first ever anything but also ended up coercing me into sex for a very long time because we didn’t have protection I never wanted to and was always terrified I was gonna get pregnant. Then we managed to get protection when I was 16 and I became way more comfortable with sex but he continued to ignore consent (and was generally sexually abusive) and at one point flat out raped me. We stay together because I’m an idiot and didnt want to believe it was non consensual. Fast forward a few years he got into his dream uni hours away and I can’t move with him so we decide to break up because he’s a compulsive liar and generally untrustworthy and that would be horrendously way too stressful for me. We end up breaking up and I get a new (long distance) boyfriend who i’d been friends with for years which causes B to get really mad and we’re no longer on speaking terms. I’ve stopped being secretive about what he did to me and have told people but quite a few don’t believe me which I was kinda expecting but it still hurts. B ends up dating my “best friend” who knows he raped me so I decide she’s not really my best friend anymore which sucks. I think for a while I was relying on B’s inevitable move to uni as an escape from the house I’m currently living in and a way to start my own life because I can’t do that on my own due to chronic fatigue that’s still pretty bad and making me unfit for work but because of that and my mum also being chronically ill she can’t work so I’m a source of income for our (giant old shitty falling apart) house so I’m unable to move because I don’t think I’d be able to cope living on my own and I’d be taking money away from my mum and two young sisters that’s a portion of the household money and I think I’m now coming to that realisation fully that I’m just gonna be stuck here and I don’t know what to do and I feel useless and I’ve cried every night for the past week and that’s not normal for me anymore and now I’m scared I’m declining again.",2.9458485742379565,4.435884355752215,4.6153392330383465,84.33571288102264,74.46902654867256,7.570894788593904,26.5378564405113,8.238735603445708,1.6894393313667644,2171,79,446,36,45,733,251,565,0.221,0.6890000000000001,0.09,-0.998,2,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,8,0,0,6,25,28,6,4,20,0,38,14,0,4,2,89,77,54,3,6,12,5,1,2,4,4,10,1,0,1,20,45,0,4,13,1,2,6,16,19,0,3,20,2,60,9,59,46,11,80,0,6,0,4,40,22,1,2,47,279,80,5,0.07089727662556114,0.08400167959282323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133930530059614,0.058992213614882424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018748495881693,0.14062209549206414,0.0,0.0,0.05834241782337241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322065037069578,0.0,0.11839252920224105,0.2593099307172689,0.0,0.0,0.15975390524184924,0.14880463560830776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239404622542685,0.0,0.0,0.07283103264810847,0.0,0.06107172613902773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787732929354006,0.0,0.0,0.1221274409415974,0.0,0.07358017990089556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883818309910148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413064565350789,0.059734013331502876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03584779328669563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030518727981175,0.0,0.0,0.2191002402104395,0.0,0.1481636034386965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134060574138748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536048974685312,0.0,0.0,0.04752095007166172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981953630734263,0.24541781512598365,0.07589700096001566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585315643778164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249726878708833,0.10015368632439364,0.06927365639896177,0.0,0.1252071883173822,0.18822557641930285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047324482673937386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144777962114131,0.07521080669599799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260577551041863,0.0,0.0,0.05468035041209813,0.06847303155386067,0.0,0.06653229139985746,0.06946427817591776,0.0,0.0,0.07439476561291608,0.0,0.0480418294774209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767947273316306,0.049151244812531344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702084243612745,0.07992602688376077,0.13579998637982055,0.07212801835922747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540798060956133,0.0,0.0,0.09083722166971302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196108406418662,0.14350365794004413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009374247940848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458018727390535,0.0,0.07936369673678667,0.1003629146037047,0.07556706370003123,0.16985597008475645,0.05927329782887051,0.08121259083768655,0.07411722697813003,0.08116041971144584,0.1551002270694666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053305928747480615,0.0569845454105183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271405607754966,0.0,0.0,0.04134077214116049,0.0,0.0,0.06774538605176625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925633748596426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780833339112592,0.05849767817955224,0.08363410127770804,0.16882487456633236,0.056869518851223176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322812353179564,0.0,0.0,0.05036339117255867,0.0,0.0,0.09131104337668164
mentalhealth,alexam270,2019/02/07,"Youtube Channel: Cure to my ongoing (6 year long) depression? Hey guys. I’ve been struggling with depression since 6th grade. Now i’m a senior in high school. For the past 6 years, I have contemplated my purpose in life and thought that because I was only 1 individual in a world filled with over 7 billion others, I didn’t matter. Recently, I started a youtube channel and wasn’t sure what to focus my videos on. But then I realized that my purpose in life may be to just try to help and inspire others, even if I only impact one person’s life. So I filmed my depression story and then uploaded it. and then I started a whole series on my youtube channel dedicated to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health. my channel name is just “Alexa Mancini” so feel free to check my channel out! but the point of this long paragraph is that you may be struggling with a mental illness right now, and I know how difficult it is (because i’m still struggling), but I have faith that you all will find your passions in life and one day be glad that you were able to get through any obstacles that you are facing now.[Alexa’s Depression Story](https://youtu.be/TboumAi77Kg)",6.5136500655308005,7.463778857798167,6.125976408912193,78.8767889908257,65.46788990825688,8.98086500655308,35.2961992136304,9.04235418022936,3.1132676277850586,933,43,167,15,14,289,125,218,0.125,0.772,0.103,-0.7907,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,5,0,0,9,14,0,3,8,0,17,8,1,1,2,30,25,17,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,12,11,0,0,6,7,2,1,2,8,0,3,6,1,23,7,22,13,2,32,1,4,0,1,10,14,0,3,16,110,35,3,0.12531093990121528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521573622805484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277677173937473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081518952087861,0.0,0.43172051566799097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276669396913149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336097638651363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145319288706222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546979408007353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407753186010928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319966931126556,0.0,0.0,0.0839932815745378,0.1323978880536479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688676154055127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35404329094797365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217924770145257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25256790794562484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698278718993566,0.1906092330441788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962347136411193,0.0,0.10941667925346744,0.0,0.0,0.11845934228190692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372943552801825,0.0,0.0,0.10701485798829467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682136121182142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365850441380786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739145646789645,0.0,0.10007347847585048,0.0,0.0,0.3930066069203264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810407786283715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948288891374854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507790256679706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990518928805104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139227363166792
mentalhealth,MangoWater27,2019/02/07,"Can you help me, Ok so, this is going to be short and sweet,

Recently I have been having major bursts of adrenaline in my room, note only in my room.
Whenever I have one of these outbursts, I cannot contain myself and spasm an arm out for a second or two.

I believe I have a form of Tourettes syndrome.
Can one of you help me??",2.7554411764705904,3.7272283676470606,4.290470588235299,88.52511764705883,74.1470588235294,7.2047058823529415,25.364705882352943,7.554174236665415,1.1336258823529421,251,8,55,3,5,84,48,68,0.0,0.836,0.16399999999999998,0.8738,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,10,1,1,0,0,5,11,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,1,12,2,9,9,2,8,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,1,45,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051324870734314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20436212125993827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4820484522485733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.487332208380884,0.2734828430643432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35504972407192825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35126518139020146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,X1ockwise,2019/02/07,"Why am I forgetting words at such a young age? First off, let me say that I don’t know what subreddit to put this on, so I’m posting it on here.

I’m 14 years old, and spelling has always been my main attribute in school. I’ve always been the best speller in my school, being able to spell college level words. However, over the past 1 1/2 weeks, I am suddenly forgetting how to spell even the most simple of words. For instance, I forgot what the opposite of interior was, and I forgot how to spell across earlier today. It’s really frustrating me, and I’m tired of it. I don’t know whether I should go see a doctor, or not to worry too much about it. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.",3.0173887814313365,4.409546780141845,4.640296582849776,84.62454545454548,74.1063829787234,8.247840103159254,24.8749194068343,8.841846274778883,1.6977035460992909,540,17,114,11,11,182,95,141,0.044,0.847,0.109,0.8407,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,8,3,1,0,6,0,13,2,0,3,0,21,23,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,8,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,5,2,12,2,18,13,4,22,0,0,1,0,3,10,0,2,9,75,20,4,0.19139857503949576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31851789410605363,0.0,0.0,0.130157594363659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086099615026007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195904551804974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641695369063433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280353015258772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087762209768381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829043034016666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103753026730801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957180106280873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406999752563295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20084060779812385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271159707538756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330692743499205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924084325558436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261482821091554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220782904769625,0.0,0.38741115244442265,0.1525198838494311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762140926868251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21998450614009168,0.18142346948947952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352839191260978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270744382919678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943745436605324,0.0,0.13596405621466498,0.0,0.0,0.1232544070766564
mentalhealth,Strangelythere,2019/02/07,"Fight For Your Right To Party! I'm sure that everyone has had an accomplishment, whether you got a good grade on an assignment, nailed a cool magic trick or got first place in a sports competition but you don't feel like you should take pride in it? When I get complimented on something, I don't feel like I should acknowledge my accomplishment or take pride in what I've done. Even now, as I'm writing this, I am very wary of talking about my achievements for fear of being seen as a person who brags. I think that this a real fear that a lot of people have, and often we get accused of ""fishing for compliments"". I suppose that it comes from this feeling of ""I have to get better"" or ""a lot of people have done that"" that feeling of never being enough. Even when I know that I should be happy with my work, I'm not, and that's not something that can be fixed overnight.

​

Just to illustrate my point, I'll give an example in my real life. I was 14 when I got a poem I had written published in a book that was featuring young poets across the country. I was happy but not really. I often thought that ""it's not really being published because it wasn't my work independently that was being published, it was almost everyone who had submitted a piece, I'm just another name at the end of the credits"". Or when I would get an A- on a test, ""I should have studied harder, I should have tried better to get an A+"", and the list goes on. But my outlook changed for the better. I remember seeing this video where a woman was explaining the meaning behind her tattoos, and one of them was *Fight For Your Right To Party*. She explained that she had gotten it to remind herself to celebrate her accomplishments and not dismiss them. That really stuck with me for a long time, and it still does. It's not an easy mentality to change but I think reminding yourself to be proud can certainly go a long way. I still struggle with this and I probably always will but that's okay, because I'm still going to fight for my right to celebrate my accomplishments. I wrote this post so that I can have a tangible reminder to myself, and maybe it can remind others. I'll leave you with this:

​

Take Pride In Your Strides! 

Cherish Your Feats! 

Believe In Your Achievements!

**Fight For Your Right To Party!**",4.467223917022577,5.889462946308727,5.056485661989019,82.93602806589384,70.54362416107381,8.013260117958103,27.86312792353061,8.484438967287268,1.9417686800894856,1815,64,350,29,33,582,194,447,0.071,0.779,0.15,0.9903,0,0,2,0,4,0,68.0,1,10,2,16,17,28,5,3,29,2,42,1,0,1,3,65,79,25,0,6,18,0,4,2,0,7,1,0,0,2,36,14,0,0,13,3,1,3,10,8,0,2,23,7,52,20,52,42,4,40,0,0,2,0,33,20,0,9,17,258,88,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835379922267434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941620446494269,0.18078170066330565,0.20274078315950125,0.0,0.08747828744273943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017100962282418,0.0,0.0,0.09399130046836936,0.0,0.221347648573602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650497669285442,0.07186316920347326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300569705572557,0.17074528581544038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388970451208603,0.08620022833782548,0.0,0.11020272666128346,0.0,0.0,0.15943214473781042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775242454350372,0.16872855557862915,0.11919753841805525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096118206108472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21793034962432264,0.08002877118349437,0.09482459272743853,0.06997285272514345,0.200167553985936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17761472652035268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04584814635207393,0.0,0.0,0.08833492939428106,0.0,0.0,0.05892547797238393,0.08151438981451248,0.0,0.0,0.14765683240336186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418497428272683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381153071553374,0.09087417901596508,0.0,0.0,0.08407268306839914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434243015867007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056530875068455534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156726506954601,0.07284340969600847,0.08716127023569667,0.0,0.07886350107711929,0.0,0.07989799876317834,0.0,0.08994615822494499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899116131520001,0.16033239217678802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450415529856383,0.2849776541268768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647884868117493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844913616140216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986971206010307,0.0,0.0,0.08721382479179401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862698620749174,0.0,0.1881754398954413,0.06705377901873524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691062187973832,0.0,0.06623005637101745,0.048645733323786265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566400347281047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883428405900323,0.0,0.06621880693256067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146864968307852,0.0,0.0,0.059262659340185375,0.0,0.20274078315950125,0.0
mentalhealth,howdyimgay,2019/02/07,"I got a job today! It was a terrifying process, especially since I haven't been able to work in over a year due to severe mental health issues, but I actually went through the interview process and will be starting Monday!

I still strugfle quite a bit with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, but I'm hoping that with a job to give me purpose daily, and with actual income on the horizion, that ill be able to start improving more than I already had. 

I dont say this often, I never feel like I'm allowed to, but today i actually gelt pride for myself and for my actions, and despite the fear I'm feeling, I'm excited for whats to come! ",10.147086614173226,6.6000444960629965,10.297102362204727,66.47762204724411,60.732283464566926,13.624566929133856,43.51023622047244,11.602472056035307,4.899202834645669,509,23,97,11,5,172,85,127,0.182,0.682,0.136,-0.8097,4,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,2,6,0,1,8,0,8,2,0,1,1,18,21,8,1,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,9,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,5,3,11,4,17,13,2,15,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,10,61,16,4,0.2990194179596182,0.0,0.4376997267884717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649876816536493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437451814348475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322587953082074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287893757917442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287724932655869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752242654341263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823998877561136,0.1511932022486145,0.106809765968628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434233363257297,0.0,0.0,0.1195765722429944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589218292563536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484968758481049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560492923330539,0.2967306328718197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304289178042944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067062159280542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531110454642332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902197901387113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188961214610595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16890341490046415,0.0,0.12367597625880045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21164748307631567,0.0,0.11939864672083984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353935521620416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834354448028896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859699809796075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884484878934088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627935071463928
mentalhealth,garethgill,2019/02/07,"Seeing dead family Okay so I don't know if this is the right place to ask but here goes

I'm a second year university student and up until now I've been fairly on top of everything

When I was 3 my dad committed suicide and left me in a bad place

I'd seen him once or twice when I was younger but starting a week ago I started seeing him once or twice a day 

But over the course of this afternoon and this evening I've seen him multiple times just stood there staring 

I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience or if anyone had any advice as it's getting now to the point where my housemates are having to calm me down but I'm still terrified to look around in case he's there

Sorry if this isn't the right place but I just want some answers ",2.039312839059672,3.831657886075952,3.5987703435804725,89.36227848101265,77.73417721518987,7.0459312839059685,23.311030741410487,7.957251820313856,1.1058321880650994,598,19,130,10,14,198,98,158,0.13,0.802,0.068,-0.9313,0,0,0,0,0,1,0.0,0,0,0,1,14,3,0,0,9,1,11,0,0,0,1,24,26,20,2,5,14,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,9,6,13,2,15,17,1,30,0,0,6,0,6,16,0,9,14,85,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221523754746416,0.13807943308968282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592796477627414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21783400293030428,0.0,0.0,0.13866704645284544,0.1456225797509294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300602441446086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045783710705324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102883667166211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999474094425784,0.15237154483986634,0.1468447387102573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138264536803676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560632885196469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924300011867455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080636210461108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33177687298551184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4882349859242121,0.0,0.14725164144656322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660510044103814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482547555226616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437015398450947,0.22050758209792945,0.0,0.1243969761014537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17038552631205395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908299020898726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187633463267318,0.0,0.12494814590102532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689243625767629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030984788223753
mentalhealth,WolfgangAmadeus__,2019/02/07,"19f UK: Just some thoughts. This is probably going to be a rant so sorry about that. I'm just feeling really alone right now. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore or what I'm doing. And these thoughts and feelings won't leave me alone and it's driving me crazy. I don't know how to control my emotions which is so scary and the thought that I will always be this way is so terrifying to the point that I don't know why I'm even trying even though I know that there is so much more out there. I just don't want to be like this anymore. 

I just feel like I can't really talk to anyone nor do I know how to even begin to bring up these thoughts or if I do I'm just dismissed because it's ""just the depression talking"" but I feel like it's so much more. I generally feel that I have or am developing an ED as well as I don't know like Bipolar. Everything is about food. Everytime I eat I feel dread and guilt and I hate myself for it. My mood changes are so extreme like one minute I'm so happy and I can anything. Next, I'm hatching a plan to kill myself in a matter of seconds. These mood changes are partly why I feel so lost I just don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what to do but at the same time I do. Literally, I'm just so worried that I will always be that way and always feel those things and I can't cope with the thought of that. 

If you managed to read to the end thank you, I really appreciate it and I'm sorry for any grammatical or punctuation errors. 

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mentalhealth,SalinaChee,2019/02/07,"[AU] Brain and body deteriorating and I don't know where to look for help anymore. I've included country in the title because I hoped it might find me some relevant information. I'm not far from Sydney, but I'd be happy to travel interstate for the right care. Though any input is appreciated even if you're not from here.

Anyhow, hi everyone.

The short of it is that I'm 21, and have diagnoses of BPD, PTSD and schizophrenia. Although a psych I've started seeing recently has suggested it's dissociative psychosis instead. I don't care about what they call it, but I know I need further help.

My emotional state, is very good after doing a year of DBT and another year of changing the way I live my life. I'm on antipsychotics and antidepressants, and they work well. I'm pretty happy. I have good friends, I love my dog and I live a healthy lifestyle these days. I'm more stable than ever and I can manage my emotions. And I rarely hallucinate thanks to the meds.

But my functioning, is limited and deteriorating. I don't know how else to put it. I'm on welfare because I can't work for more than one day a week without shutting down. I'm forgetting things, forgetting people and losing memories. I'm okay right now, but I know I sometimes end up incoherent or not able to speak at all. I keep a journal so I can remember important things, but I don't always remember writing in it.

Lately, if I eat anything that's energy-dense I find myself uncontrollably sad. Not guilt-sad, but biologically-sad and full of nervous energy in a way I can't explain, and I can only liken it to a bad hormone fluctuation or drinking way too much coffee. For example, I ate some mcnuggets last night and a few hours later my emotions started to slide for no other reason. It's still the case currently, it'll last for a day. It's happened every time I've eaten some pizza or anything similar in the last few months, or anything with sugar.
But now it extends to anything that's not purely vegetables and maybe some super lean meat and one small meal a day only.

As a result I'm losing weight very fast, which isn't a bad thing because last year I put on a lot, but I'm losing about a kilo per week and I'm not exercising beyond walking the dog. I've lost 10+kg since mid-December and it's not been entirely intentional.

I'm scared. My doctors don't know what is happening or why. But they don't seem to be offering any serious solutions, just ""we'll keep monitoring"". So I'm here looking for suggestions on what type of professional might be able to tell me what the hell is going on. Am I going to waste away? Is my brain shutting down? Is my body unable to process energy? Do I need to see a neurologist? Endocrinologist? Dietician? Does any of this sound familiar to anyone at all?

TLDR: Brain function deteriorating and body not processing energy right, and I feel like something awful is happening to me and nobody seems to understand what. Any suggestions at all are appreciated.",3.326410180817607,5.598435710069449,5.119323899371072,77.71655660377361,75.5798611111111,8.374947589098532,27.534591194968556,9.105243231594127,2.577012814465409,2363,96,436,58,53,804,276,576,0.1,0.743,0.157,0.9877,2,0,2,0,0,0,73.0,1,0,3,8,19,26,1,3,24,2,36,20,6,4,5,90,82,44,0,5,26,0,2,1,1,4,4,2,0,0,27,23,9,3,16,3,0,7,19,12,1,2,4,9,44,14,57,71,14,69,1,5,4,1,19,28,1,18,31,266,71,7,0.13080009824222194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05441807995746616,0.0,0.0,0.17789710426239888,0.0685776538388144,0.0,0.0,0.06485927521071241,0.0457292349723637,0.0,0.2152746719253964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061445498987253225,0.0,0.10921261850850182,0.11960178876875903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179341335635652,0.08236907243078552,0.2190242517420052,0.06678076231650205,0.0,0.13335941752752162,0.0,0.06918458023308739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168710485088177,0.0,0.0,0.06637967319770871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693972151282053,0.05723202370903795,0.0,0.0,0.06406715007995126,0.0,0.06692057739105857,0.05463334908967914,0.220698757965876,0.05792503175829704,0.0,0.0,0.04319611564194057,0.05915808865351861,0.05510236206552548,0.062492549592754874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033068229887240334,0.046721808159669385,0.0,0.0,0.1195489201498143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05052791571913411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433671012050161,0.1097089166369478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17349914235245814,0.1392391367967891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767254870402269,0.0,0.0,0.06495700540831849,0.06440587454761433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626113721917343,0.0,0.0,0.1797107831895941,0.21323907544793685,0.07377410403424355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046193988803472204,0.0319511605164933,0.0,0.11549888311676992,0.0,0.10983913967693427,0.21949777884550348,0.07139187922530509,0.05560078303488005,0.05902609772019786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570313970621833,0.0,0.07264471118785508,0.0,0.0,0.13875823406687085,0.0,0.0,0.05220169525560695,0.0,0.0480765611301141,0.09698661548458076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613735157793349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886335317020789,0.09947936879137312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04534015942643918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665353616982398,0.0,0.0,0.0764491576329566,0.13149022596298313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724214285930186,0.06457465858638295,0.0,0.14817101335315114,0.16755385382889415,0.0,0.0,0.06547685830104683,0.0,0.10423074355324327,0.11907549693158932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409959645844288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05034815297074318,0.06468232085570469,0.0,0.0925809827602557,0.0,0.05222856370880667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057162525555701525,0.06021157845700921,0.0,0.0,0.1303466598481597,0.0,0.06425521620730534,0.0,0.03813529457578307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808375759168668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792377954428596,0.0,0.15573454461186995,0.10491994906960944,0.07963964095369895,0.0588024983900295,0.0,0.0590133720048867,0.0,0.0,0.06304331354655568,0.0,0.09522402934198904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634646222747511
mentalhealth,uncomfortable-me,2019/02/07,"I need help First off, please, no hate comments. I'm already struggling enough. 

My entire life I've struggled with something. I've been to several therapists and psychiatrists and everything in between. I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and more recently, bipolar. The lesser of the two types though. Doctors have tried giving me different prescriptions but nothing seems to have worked. As of now, I haven't had insurance for almost a year and I'm unemployed do to the severity of everything. I'm insanely paranoid that someone is always watching me and waiting behind a closed door, or my backyard, or any other potential hiding spot, ready to attack. 

My anxiety keeps me from sleeping most nights. I'm lucky if I get one or two hours of sleep and I'm sure that doesn't help anything. I'm terrified of being on my own but my partner works to keep us alive so we got a dog. I absolutely love animals and used to love volunteering at the shelter. But that's back when I could leave my house. If not for my dog, I'm pretty sure I would have killed myself a long time ago. I still think about it a lot, but then she comforts me by laying on me or just being adorable like dogs are.

Here's where it gets really shitty and I'm already crying again before I typed this. You can probably guess where it's going but for the last year, I now get these terrible bursts of anger. As someone who never felt anger much before, this has caused me great distress. Which only makes it worse. I get angry and have an outburst, then sulk and get mad at myself for being so stupid and tell myself I don't deserve to live. 

Well, our dog isn't a support dog. We got her as a puppy and much of her training has been sporadic because I can hardly function with to keep myself alive. Because of this, she mostly behaves but has a tendency to, well, be a dog. Which in my normal mind, I'm fine with. It's mostly her barking that's an issue because she barks all of the time which spikes my anxiety because it's so sudden.

She definitely doesn't get the exercise she requires either. I keep myself cooped up all day and let her out several times but she is confined to a rope because we don't have a huge yard and what we have isn't fenced in. So I understand why she behaves the way she does, you know? Which makes it so much worse knowing I'm the reason she doesn't behave the way I want her to and then still not being able to do anything proactive about it. We're living on one paycheck so training is not much of an option. 

Well, I've been avoiding saying it, but today when she barked, it was so abrupt and scared me so bad. And then I got so angry I pinned her and smacked her butt. It wasn't enough to cause any permanent damage or anything, but it's like I wasn't in control. I don't remember even pinning her down and as soon as I realized what I did, I immediately got up and left the room to break down into tears. And she came to comfort me which makes it so much worse. Dogs are too pure and I don't deserve her. I've always been so passive and these feelings are so foreign and I've never hit anyone or anything ever before. I'm so disgusted with myself and hate myself even more which I, frankly, didn't know was possible. 

It boils down to, I should rehome her, right? No dog deserves anything other than all of their wants on a silver platter and I know I'm not providing that. I've had her for 3 years now and the anger thing is new. I think I already know what the correct thing to do is, I guess I just needed some advice. My partner doesn't know the extent of my anger so that's a conversation I'll have to have as well. I'm just so worried. I don't know who I am anymore. I need to go to a doctor but without insurance, there's no way we can afford to go. I don't know what I'll do without the dog, but I don't want this to ever happen to her again. And if I end up killing myself after, isn't that what I deserve? What if I ever try to attack a person too? 

I'm so scared of who I'm becoming. I don't know what to do.",2.625713057514826,4.286030744552061,3.992981366459627,87.75657525353546,75.6949152542373,6.7254518019440654,24.925009650138605,7.47871067723058,1.150694059023757,3169,107,655,40,69,1044,319,826,0.185,0.71,0.105,-0.9978,4,1,1,0,0,1,85.0,7,2,1,5,48,40,13,6,33,0,66,12,3,8,12,140,135,78,2,14,31,0,3,2,2,2,6,1,4,3,47,42,1,10,18,2,0,4,30,23,4,5,19,5,99,17,83,106,20,74,0,2,1,3,48,26,1,21,42,460,146,8,0.05430718370267875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053068351386533236,0.04814004164446194,0.0,0.05438079982179991,0.0,0.1797879829487296,0.0,0.09037585459681906,0.0,0.0,0.07386149438100433,0.0,0.12463454066175235,0.0,0.05385813345748328,0.037972845549828084,0.0,0.22345092457684,0.0,0.0,0.12356452300277986,0.0,0.04175887208496605,0.04534422997915806,0.16552577562048876,0.05997801770087882,0.13863424025369614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211295055704881,0.0,0.11157687452977863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060910124356114176,0.04335986717083232,0.0,0.05965389122850263,0.03502364076701487,0.0,0.046774697746021394,0.055120648300982636,0.0,0.05673944827445615,0.0,0.11117140742420124,0.04752458242786701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04810004553445967,0.11222767598027228,0.0,0.07173876530474298,0.14737187041204847,0.0,0.0,0.09761558992909558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027459343828368458,0.0,0.05214341285823984,0.0,0.0,0.04619366271466089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023957222981234,0.05209639913180726,0.09259207202331564,0.0,0.17373766345071048,0.05987386175340378,0.1196509709890572,0.0,0.048023663196050385,0.0,0.04864856957962832,0.10723420131085223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280192097920749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348163659803617,0.0626631985708349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05668259033631488,0.0,0.19308288055722286,0.12016570497668792,0.0,0.2686122711669728,0.044267603000937,0.0,0.05750346620283495,0.05900491399363542,0.0555327747602565,0.038358769903429,0.05306349359064522,0.0,0.09590847632638738,0.04806014862946212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04617002554075025,0.0980287071713624,0.0,0.10875140047119183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054834774301865966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996101434305634,0.12080426577513065,0.08377009600636845,0.052450216429528455,0.0,0.05096361303544804,0.053209509521744434,0.05210920743556429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359990631579254,0.04130306038130888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047418938083453856,0.0,0.059612979564349126,0.0,0.06122318982047757,0.0,0.0552499296105896,0.058552329243134325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034790572494850125,0.055836829695027006,0.05362179223893659,0.0,0.0615194525823695,0.046378038152677166,0.0,0.0431872522111173,0.10874192970235526,0.0,0.0,0.04943922040774247,0.0,0.18405497897627546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869280740253263,0.0,0.09202860103561496,0.041808323223263534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673957411281655,0.0,0.0,0.11354731951955532,0.0,0.0,0.061627148496556615,0.10236775588131024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746687224215676,0.0,0.0,0.06305482600462824,0.07215855947646968,0.06959570097741666,0.05335653225524969,0.0,0.09500086663150374,0.0,0.05147686017782202,0.0,0.0,0.07374202583391275,0.0,0.10610045467018556,0.05653569348018811,0.06532485532715779,0.046903970149816565,0.0,0.0,0.0960953519953556,0.1293195438955684,0.0,0.0,0.19531472071711226,0.0,0.0490037863495944,0.0,0.0,0.10470037426602516,0.0,0.07907255306197271,0.055151581183499575,0.16603097935659644,0.03857826515316258,0.0,0.0,0.10491613732070072
mentalhealth,inertcreator,2019/02/07,"I Am Having Trouble Waking Up I’m from Scotland, and I have contacted my GP with worries that I might have depression (due to fatigue, self harming and suicidal thoughts) and I have been linked up to be checked, but they will connect me to a Psychiatrist within 10 working days (it has been 5 so far)
However, with my fatigue I am struggling to get out of bed. I either wake up and cry and have no motivation to get up or I sleep through my alarm. I have missed so much school work due to this, I haven’t been to school this whole week due to it getting worse. When I do get out of bed it’s always very late in the afternoon, and I either try to power through my schoolwork or try to meet friends; so they don’t get worried about me. My parents are becoming very impatient with me, yet I am afraid to tell them the reason for my absences (due to their opinions on mental health and their lack of support for when I have breakdowns, etc)
I want to reach out and ask if anyone has any tips that would help me overcome this, until I am prescribed medication. I want to be able to keep up with school and not have anyone judge me for my “laziness” because it’s bringing down my self esteem so much and I don’t want to do anything stupid.
Any tips on how to get out of bed would be appreciated. Even if it means I’ll be late to school everyday, I just want to be able to do my schoolwork. Much kindness x",3.4520300751879702,4.610087105263158,4.27689223057644,88.57157894736844,72.6842105263158,7.112781954887217,28.308270676691734,7.447530270364453,1.4239323308270675,1095,42,235,12,21,352,140,285,0.16,0.743,0.097,-0.9622,3,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,5,4,11,13,1,3,3,0,33,7,3,3,0,43,51,23,1,9,9,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,3,2,10,18,0,1,5,0,1,1,5,10,0,0,4,0,37,3,50,38,8,30,0,4,0,0,14,15,0,6,14,168,47,7,0.20607883470009056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573704955086182,0.0,0.0,0.14014067434041744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409511279387327,0.0,0.08479266095174373,0.0,0.09632794592338564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281187243929279,0.11379894106724625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318396160073195,0.06645189995246424,0.0,0.08874769917845672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149161875851909,0.06805656337181545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796079982443189,0.0,0.3230030566216891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952608230271846,0.0,0.0,0.06906514947203532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158616851596783,0.0,0.10729969703733057,0.0,0.0,0.2324659017039266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224013253447936,0.0,0.10380137268367068,0.1038394975592417,0.10930853862429556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272374828587884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441307907430212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594168222657248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171255654807831,0.0,0.0,0.21498516871602705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311383118496366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771917127031297,0.0,0.11270839860677842,0.11692790973649204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006099241010022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818017877613295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399140013913769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700366209490861,0.2431012720492212,0.0,0.08265200535636334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503982972159295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002784604874142,0.2092830599426281,0.10500596918339328,0.1463924914803252,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GerholdEgdseffecaddy,2019/02/07,"Help, Advice, Something? I'm just going to type and see where everything goes. So sorry if there's a lack of coherency 

I'm typing this as I've just had a crying bout. I just can't put everything I'm feeling to words. Everything just feels wrong. I constantly question everything I do from going to college, to eating, to talking to people. Just waking life in general. Even hobbies of mine don't quite feel right (writing, drawing, painting) despite them being my only consistent source of relative happiness. I might have insomnia. There are times I just wake up and purposefully stay awake beacuse I don't want tomorrow to come.

I've been feeling this way ever since junior year of H.S (now junior in college). I feel like I'm acting at this point. Constanlly putting a smile on my face that dosen't want to be there, faking interest in communicating with others to fit in. Soceity leaves me wanting. I feel that what I need and want dosen't exist. 

Anxiety has taken control of my actions no matter how hard I resist. I probably come off as cold to some when I can't hide it. I've pushed people away, friends and romantic, interests either by failing to be how I should be or the anxiety getting in the way of growing said relationships. I just feel like a failure: to my parents, family and friends. They try so hard to be what family should be and I probably fail at returing the favour. I pretty much shut everyone out: only speak when spoken to or I have to force myself. But I still worry a lot about them (health, financial, happiness etc.) as anyone would. But I almost feel paranoid about it. Like I worry too much to the point I can't rationally think. I want to be who they want and need me to be. But just for some reason I can't. And I hate it!

Honestly if things continue like this I'm going to be alone forever. 

I cut sometimes. Last week I did actually. What's worse is that I actually enjoy it. There's just this queer desire in me to bleed . . . Sometimes I just want slash up my body and lay on the ground. I probably am a masochist cause each time I fantasize about situations, it always involves some sort of physical pain to me. There was a time were getting it by a car all I wanted. I do have suicidal thoughts sometimes, but haven't actually acted upon them except for a year ago when I tied a scarf around my neck as an experiment. Honestly the thought of dying or death brings me comfort. I want to lay in my bed and let that be it. Be done with it all.

I just want scream out all the names of the people I love and tell them how much they truly mean to me. How sorry I am that I can't change myself. How sorry I am that I probably ruined any relationship we had together. That I want, every waking moment, of the day to be the person that I'm not. That I'm just sorry.

TL;DR: I'm disinterested in life in general, I cut, anxiety has ruined and is holding me back from relationships with friends and family, some suicidal thoughts, want to give up.",2.9734010892822416,5.115151235395189,4.608449069571421,81.58090352071585,76.16494845360825,7.966335991700706,26.27322829540297,8.787695798879287,2.1674198534656037,2337,89,446,52,53,785,262,582,0.146,0.74,0.114,-0.8978,1,1,1,0,0,0,79.0,1,0,7,4,39,28,3,0,21,0,45,15,6,8,4,107,94,36,4,21,24,1,10,4,3,4,6,3,1,1,28,23,1,2,15,0,0,14,10,11,0,0,12,15,67,17,74,65,15,66,0,4,1,2,28,29,1,14,24,308,95,8,0.0,0.0,0.17371745668177155,0.0,0.0,0.05798489802098105,0.05260000230925317,0.0,0.0594189389641871,0.061456793178121236,0.0,0.0,0.04937438770413161,0.0,0.0,0.04035221659859805,0.0,0.13618137630703653,0.0,0.0,0.04149086073421895,0.0,0.0,0.05282384784198523,0.0,0.0,0.055750476533566566,0.04562764578234864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591169952426293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095698775325813,0.06277226778758094,0.1022297316671023,0.0,0.06412384096368562,0.06655317636512842,0.0,0.0,0.06518055882770822,0.03826842525042494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061583997398091374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060723890087954535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071810207330072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617811586746977,0.03919252135842878,0.05367507283052294,0.04999524772213902,0.056700482167398036,0.21331848001341405,0.05804444174706201,0.16781717789015915,0.0,0.2400266388550443,0.08478287628364127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753433983052146,0.0,0.06200383704518145,0.056922898714444274,0.10117031551852064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633387890875142,0.10631128618995253,0.058584486468040216,0.0,0.06307405351196495,0.0,0.0,0.03977334751708627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048368799455375165,0.0,0.06283090649148079,0.0,0.06067763925511194,0.0838250785241101,0.11595918034383645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050447472978892224,0.05355531536167615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463702505219689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294877411434978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086188104624366,0.08799749566302405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025921030485856,0.06314035048358968,0.0,0.06588838494246127,0.0,0.0,0.12341353894723385,0.051812091711784886,0.0,0.0,0.1121881297861336,0.0,0.0,0.060368589760815314,0.2559077681026747,0.0,0.0,0.1193031691135487,0.06647270321016935,0.06311380167742736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061009863526731524,0.0,0.19112203505935607,0.0,0.05067475703378603,0.05644450439023298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04728510402158791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490854225702931,0.0666989631522342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04568167834858225,0.17606188917518573,0.26569838235917104,0.0,0.0632469485743604,0.04738780485831444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298133817171213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047694040718838565,0.05186446675701409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03942186447538448,0.038021716507461126,0.0,0.14132442876132442,0.10380227422950332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040286948210389015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199926351701183,0.09420028283005573,0.04759776757384376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052225957909075,0.060471003619424674,0.04215236977005762,0.06487733752173758,0.0,0.0764241004208
mentalhealth,unicorn156,2019/02/07,"Drinking a pint before psychotherapy session? For a non-alcoholic, is it OK to have a moderate amount of alcohol, enough to relax oneself and speak more easily/openly (but \*\*\*not\*\*\* to get drunk or tipsy), right before going into a psychoanalytic psychotherapy session? ",9.881515151515153,12.115668363636365,9.975454545454548,49.66651515151517,58.54545454545455,12.23030303030303,39.66666666666666,11.855464076750405,5.9659030303030285,224,11,26,7,3,74,36,44,0.055,0.8029999999999999,0.142,0.5849,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,2,3,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,6,4,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,20,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6498672441677957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5174429600143069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29785016664186603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141616786831836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885193298019853,0.0,0.17279683480043084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596543533992273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SonnyFFC,2019/02/07,"I feel sorry for the kid I was for who I’ve become I was innocent, full of complete and utter happiness, I feel corrupted by the world ",1.0673809523809543,3.2885662142857166,4.064285714285717,82.54738095238098,83.28571428571429,8.019047619047619,23.619047619047624,8.841846274778883,2.159104761904762,106,4,21,3,3,38,20,28,0.048,0.733,0.22,0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,4,1,4,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4614591003614855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4380855642707006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4225336076543907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4447865443512281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4677251515985093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vanhohenheim16,2019/02/07,"Signs of OCD? Hi everyone, I have been having unpleasant thoughts periodically for the past few months and this has been upsetting me. This is going to be a long post, but I really need to express myself in some way. 
I'm in my early twenties and my primary issue has been that I hate almost everything about myself, especially my appearance and I severely doubt my intelligence. I'm currently pursuing a PhD and although no one believes me, my admittance into this programme was a consequence of several consecutive lucky strokes, and because of that I feel inferior to all my peers. Outside of academics too I feel vastly inferior to most people considering that I have no hobbies/talents/sports accomplishments. I constantly feel that I'm running out of time, but I don't feel motivated enough to try out anything new.
I also have a very negative body image of myself, (which I think developed over the years for being bullied). I have an ugly face and am underweight. I hate seeing myself in the mirror or photos. I've tried to make it better by going to a gym but seeing all the attractive people there has only exacerbated my complex. I have never been in a relationship (in fact I'm a virgin who has never even kissed another person ). 
All these things have started weighing down on me lately and I feel very down. I always manage get work done when there's a strict deadline, but I use up all my other time on social media or watching arbitrary videos (and a lot of porn). More than a year ago I consulted with a psychiatrist, but after a very short interview I was prescribed medicines for OCD (clomipramine).
I never took the medicines and never consulted with them again. 
Off late I've been having unpleasant thoughts (occasionally suicidal). When alone I end up crying a lot. I tried reaching out to friends and family, but since I usually seem jovial, no one believes me. I hope someone has advice for me. I have an irrational hesitation towards consulting a professional directly.",6.588646408839779,8.095439223756909,7.463829834254148,67.3411149171271,65.60220994475138,10.764375690607736,34.645745856353585,10.793553405168565,4.2725200883977905,1597,73,254,45,25,534,203,362,0.18,0.743,0.077,-0.9905,1,1,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,1,4,9,12,2,2,21,0,27,7,2,3,9,57,54,22,1,2,8,0,6,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,13,16,1,0,11,2,0,5,9,6,0,2,11,9,43,6,43,41,11,53,0,2,3,3,12,20,0,12,26,195,56,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761659061860653,0.08855121018066166,0.0,0.1000307741812406,0.10346146712597996,0.0,0.07988628409629979,0.08312094279815084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047489960399716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220537046229673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060895284867179364,0.0,0.0,0.2250957271425223,0.0,0.0883493288894499,0.0,0.11096122626806194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079513967581662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973036332795023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022276372261666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847763932732967,0.10321861162078518,0.0,0.06597994380144304,0.0,0.0,0.09545429835212893,0.08977950917201823,0.0,0.09417245588639317,0.0,0.25255048019351234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717890810338493,0.0,0.05219120309077905,0.0,0.11354567148562515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972519751636952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992186334965174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426480324893496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22537263667546406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840425095666543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985492725163956,0.0,0.0,0.06668092916418476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973552408867172,0.0,0.0,0.07407114440808228,0.3081818430112431,0.096479562136122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538336384460758,0.07597492349387269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536142546519134,0.13850973062959096,0.08722477607691806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567214220470496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399552622014464,0.0,0.0,0.1072502329131369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15920733843365226,0.09094098484224508,0.0,0.22570664768006615,0.0,0.08263447490503223,0.0,0.0,0.10183074041469592,0.08464101519815044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070645067068368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926931125507856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636603904215482,0.0640089137275463,0.0,0.158611516419452,0.11649957666650068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098742169217556,0.20346717843516232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627751819823562,0.11002062702541668,0.24727240412761156,0.0,0.07929228781131277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272501255218354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286586745651103
mentalhealth,immabich,2019/02/07,"How do I deal with a paranoia that is rational? My paranoia of break-in/burglary is getting out of hand and I know it. I'm:

- Losing a lot of sleep (waking up through the night and scoping out my apartment, staying awake and alert for long periods because I've heard a noise that could be an intruder, waking up from bad dreams about someone breaking in, waking up early and being too nervous to go back to sleep).

- Losing out on my hobbies (listening to music, watching any media, playing games etc. all are difficult because they make noise which could cover up the sound of someone breaking in, so I'm constantly pausing them).

- Creating routines that are annoying to stick to (leaving certain doors and items in certain positions every time I go out or go to sleep so I know if they have been moved, putting noisy objects around my hall every night, turning my lights on at certain times which makes sleeping even more difficult).

- Finding it difficult to go out for more than a couple of hours and nearly impossible to go see my family who live in a different city (meaning I have to leave for a full night).

And more but I don't want this post to become a novel.

I know that ""impacting quality of life"" is the criteria for getting help. But at the same time my fears are somewhat rational.

I live in a cheap apartment with cheap locks and a cheap door in a not so great area with not so savoury neighbours, in an insecured building that anyone can wander into. There are no security systems in my (very low) price range that seem to be considered successful by reviewers. I've also noticed chipped wood on the door frame next to one of my locks and chipped paint around that lock. Seems a bit more than normal wear and tear so it's very possible someone has given my door a quick go before.

I feel like if I go to a therapist who stops this fear, then they're stopping me from keeping myself safe. The thing I'm so scared of is a very real possibility so in theory I can't be too careful. I feel like if I don't have this paranoia I'm basically leaving myself unsecured and inviting burglars in. I want peace and to not spend every minute obsessing about a break in because I'm just constantly terrified but even more than that I want to be actually safe from a break in and if I'm not the way I am now, I'm not as safe.

What do I do about a paranoia that is rational?",7.289834770114942,6.454337394396553,7.462931034482758,75.99183908045978,64.0646551724138,10.664367816091954,37.00574712643678,9.928628108626363,3.5445591954022984,1877,82,358,34,24,610,222,464,0.14,0.75,0.11,-0.8722,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,3,3,23,27,1,6,26,0,29,10,9,3,4,70,65,32,0,10,14,0,3,2,1,0,1,4,4,0,21,24,0,7,9,4,5,9,9,14,0,1,3,10,33,13,72,55,13,72,0,3,2,0,11,36,0,9,21,240,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0771346536526406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321073044623167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053752011644132035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055268766310802415,0.0,0.0,0.14073021626221632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06077925710461085,0.0659976784455837,0.14455180187924355,0.08729688270912449,0.06725984771760897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629458220458575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058969811246264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708349992484057,0.0,0.12621895100210706,0.08745967556553415,0.0,0.0,0.08148995493024244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258320549535365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815393935059672,0.10441443082927687,0.0,0.19979163705755748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451479051546173,0.1778909028792118,0.07993312247862032,0.11293679845532015,0.0,0.0,0.07224395219449849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259350419300761,0.0,0.314454066825388,0.0,0.0,0.08714528567609928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298091701209812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784152154669116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025713012559602,0.0,0.0,0.13032004518299367,0.0,0.0,0.2510856578911293,0.0,0.0,0.05583047198768743,0.07723292222195367,0.0,0.13959299306006914,0.06995064723234043,0.0,0.1768579983473573,0.0,0.06719960843669395,0.0,0.0,0.10552375259363904,0.0,0.0,0.0861010971914849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401029542447506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406322284716168,0.222529756073792,0.07744544567803723,0.0,0.08999108176043212,0.0,0.0,0.05356164337653785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821841486963266,0.07570143060885291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946013721085303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996834105604047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913592218179691,0.0,0.06298710891759766,0.14391572081256065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164006955503406,0.0,0.20091886073720247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842494168298788,0.0,0.13216712496568786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177511963503304,0.05251271669640775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827198412851255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597618403108517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19565648172169872,0.1398649871002268,0.06274072562023278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tangyanni12,2019/02/07,"Never wanted to commit suicide but often think about want would happen if I did commit suicide? So very often I will ask myself “what would happen if you just die right now? Would anyone care? How would people find your body? Will you leave any notes?” Etc 

To be quite honest, the thought scares me severely, and I think I know why - I don’t want to commit suicide. As soon I as I think about it I think of my parents. They will be devastated, plus my dad has depression as well, so I don’t know what he will do. The thought of them being heart broken (then miscommunication, then divorce, then leaving my brother all on his own...) kills me and honestly I don’t ever want that to happen.

Then I think of my friends. The first people I think of are my normal friends. The people who would be sad that you’re gone but after a while would be fine. I mean, that is what I want. I don’t want people crying their eyes out over my death. But also, I wish they were people who were genuinely upset, who would make me feel as if I was meaningful to this world. It’s a selfish feeling and I fully understand that, but deep down I wish that is the case. But also, not. I just want them to have a happy life man.

Then I go on to my boyfriend who I have been with for 4 years. Boy I love him. I treat him as family and honestly I would never leave him. He is the kindest, funniest, cleverest (and much more) person I know and I love him to bits. The thought of him crying over my dead body hurts my every muscle so I wish that never happens. But also, I hope that does. I’m a terrible girlfriend, and I know he can find someone so much better than me.  He can go on to have an amazing life, without me, which I’m very happy with as I just want the best for him. 

I dunno man I guess I’m just weak and strong at the same time. I feel disgusted that I want to end my life because of all the sorrow that I may leave behind, but also really want to do it. 

I try to be as positive as I can be, and I guess that has helped in some ways. 

Thanks for reading, very appreciate it.
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mentalhealth,LeMonkaS,2019/02/07,"I have no good people around me My “friends” use me and shit, pretty much the butt of all jokes and Im really socially awkward to make new friends or got forbid meet new people. i know a couple people but theyre part of different social groups or close with mine and i feel if i attatch to them this whole cycle will start again. Any help?",1.7242236024844717,3.9500547971014512,2.790517598343687,92.6126086956522,80.73913043478261,5.681987577639752,18.552795031055894,6.868970318607317,0.08833167701863331,267,6,56,3,7,85,55,69,0.097,0.72,0.183,0.736,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,2,7,1,1,2,0,2,2,2,2,1,16,8,7,0,1,4,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,9,4,6,6,4,6,0,0,0,1,8,2,2,3,4,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662948943312566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657667767960014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20603831789911126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19455028431050625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415359703443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28773145897625874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561844883040561,0.14892950516667125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481293752051015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20113923670432005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233639188352046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429691936430735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688610424208172,0.0,0.0,0.3596864202539746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164776809677254,0.0,0.3872846337409466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894429685301464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929118058142145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19114234799712013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37963620149827054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180071285315592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608260391218225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20789731419064095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ASMurley,2019/02/07,"I need help with a depressed friend My friend recently told me that he was depressed. He hasn’t been going to class, doing homework, eating regularly, or sleeping well. He has asked me to hold him accountable to get his work done and make sure that he studies. I plan on meeting with my RA to talk about what I should do, but I don’t know that they will be very knowledgeable about this. I have never been put in this situation before and the resources I’ve found only explain how to deal with personal depression. Our school provides counseling services, but I am unsure if I should suggest it. What resources should I use to help? We are in the US.",4.9573244444444455,6.340936768000004,5.119466666666668,83.09617777777778,69.32,8.115555555555558,29.88888888888889,8.515128840125781,2.197142222222222,516,20,98,8,9,162,86,125,0.093,0.807,0.1,-0.2617,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,3,0,1,2,4,7,0,0,3,0,17,2,1,3,2,24,27,7,0,5,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,8,6,1,1,4,0,1,2,3,3,1,0,6,0,18,4,14,16,0,7,0,3,0,0,22,3,0,2,2,69,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378021015054967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490748871509937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806145307698194,0.4526760126304126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17928151816514487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926442960160266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19208821055495492,0.270704717247663,0.0,0.09153021999598004,0.0,0.09956524926809668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23485406205185086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628055315029094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694154866133954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299021241421353,0.13511832559465056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324087297770162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529702798675461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761156379277554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729802668999814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773029418377335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19692235389816745,0.17531781435818755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511572063273094,0.0,0.0,0.14081212542738206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740278840737988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21073355510652214,0.1513090282217865,0.0,0.14455116449010585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751801230642448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754134804161704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psychologyloser,2019/02/07,"It’s time to talk It’s no lie that taking about your mental health is tough, we all know that
Today is #timetotalk day and it’s time that we change the conversation around mental health, together! Everyone has a part to play 

So if you’re struggling today, make it your mission to speak to one person
And if you’re not, check in with your friends, family, work colleagues, dogs, acquaintances, and that person you really hate. You never know who’s suffering in silence 

https://recoveringrach.wordpress.com/2019/02/07/the-hardest-conversation/",7.7883426966292095,11.07105169662922,5.852120786516856,72.92065308988765,65.74157303370787,8.045505617977529,24.608146067415728,8.841846274778883,1.9747629213483149,447,12,68,8,8,129,59,89,0.117,0.797,0.086,-0.4579,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,5,0,1,3,6,1,1,2,0,3,2,0,1,2,15,8,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,9,7,0,0,2,1,1,0,3,4,0,1,0,1,7,2,9,8,2,9,0,1,0,0,14,3,0,2,6,42,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414796941612875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19506228178983864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891758276301448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17619445369703346,0.0,0.0,0.1738283629407765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246079836074946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18204892081663368,0.0,0.3920001374305105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202674036978178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230830888594771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716475241160671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221447437704585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249487882896126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996785623159808,0.0,0.0,0.3220079563735201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812623397866175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276654954732786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386398327894755,0.14820730138149826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21504091089714608,0.0,0.3495641027897638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342395688612392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,onlyforquestion,2019/02/07,"I dont know who I am. Please, I need help from you bc I have to wait some years for ""real"" (therapy) help.

My mother was always told by my teachers that their estimations of me never match, but she never did anything about it.
To be honest I was never really close with my mother or my father and Im still hiding everything from them.

And the teachers werent wrong when they said ""it feels like there would sit a different person in front of them"" as in front of the other teachers, I have different personalities. 
But they are not as different as in the worst cases like in movies. Ones has much fear, one is crazy but has an accurate sense for what other people let him do and what not. There are about four or five. But they all have some things in common that I call ""I"". I like sports. Im interested in the human body (health, fitness, food...). I have literally zero creativity.
And thats basically all.
So at the end I dont know who I am, dont know what do to, but cry.

If there's anything you know pls comment, even if its just a similar problem you complain about.

Thank you.",2.469374242056756,4.31512603686636,4.035639097744362,86.47120300751881,76.64976958525347,7.149066213921902,21.559301479505216,8.032893268588372,0.9457520737327187,838,22,176,14,19,279,124,217,0.112,0.733,0.155,0.7492,4,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,4,6,0,11,11,0,1,8,0,22,3,1,0,5,35,32,18,0,5,12,3,1,3,0,1,1,1,0,3,14,6,1,1,5,1,0,2,8,5,0,5,5,2,29,6,25,24,6,20,0,0,0,0,27,9,0,6,11,135,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737549609660301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926058213754827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999015761380806,0.0,0.0,0.11949723079831913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854821187323387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668036301479472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114628690239168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365082171742047,0.0,0.0,0.07729495773036915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517595145864107,0.0,0.0,0.131687446931047,0.05917215919457947,0.08360381791555513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150901484422684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243937907312484,0.0,0.0,0.15688091036619714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25281759400423065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25725900922154626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966761511743905,0.0,0.17151983910058172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602800749902648,0.08677373223130225,0.2707743575893321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860048952535274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113150116100053,0.20436620559106453,0.0,0.12846005129957494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197864001758034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320187762874278,0.07497022896843733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131908409399667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934575844192444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774235929664376,0.13383010245086446,0.0,0.07774726510729756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182391998564396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313233052332802,0.12795020293643686,0.0,0.07536128586349314
mentalhealth,kvshbvnny,2019/02/07,"Working up the courage to go to a support group Hi guys, there’s a church in my town that holds a support group called “Celebrate Recovery” and it is meant for people with addictions or grief or mental illness or any struggle they may face. One of my biggest problems though is my shyness/social anxiety. I don’t get out of the house much and I don’t have friends I see in person so I’d really like to go to connect with people but I’m so fearful. I just went through a breakup and my girlfriend was like my only friend, and it’s scary to do things by myself now. ",3.9291379310344814,4.765707258620693,4.713275862068965,87.09681034482759,71.24137931034483,7.524137931034483,30.87931034482759,7.6454224807358475,1.8862103448275864,446,19,93,5,8,144,79,116,0.15,0.6859999999999999,0.16399999999999998,0.2117,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,6,11,0,2,6,0,8,3,1,0,0,16,17,11,1,1,5,0,0,2,3,1,2,0,0,2,4,7,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,3,1,11,7,16,13,1,10,1,1,1,0,10,6,0,4,3,61,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20585867928335905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841468475982462,0.0,0.14445871860923346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19282226265460287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124925515914934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29178783524538965,0.0,0.09865880810539096,0.0,0.21463924858779948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869769345998729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178909310718076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451107329477853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903018721359591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881589511999606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795989097027816,0.1436179845244464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618296595145653,0.1648839638749148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069016824010636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097292200708536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047752610890494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19741197174013245,0.0,0.0,0.4285768065297901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254539831010648,0.0,0.1855300201236502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750524948502988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374745672248293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,swoop3y,2019/02/07,"What do you think? I just read a very interesting article about the correlation between OCD and ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD but always did obsessive or compulsive things on top of that growing up now that I look back. Now reading this made me feel as if I understand why now past relationships have failed, I never follow through with ideas or plans and fall into this cycle of self harm through drug abuse and physically. I should get professional opinion on this not just see the similitiaries in my situation as the study as an explanation or understand it to being what was so misunderstood by me as just being a bad person when in reality I can’t understand or control some of the stuff I do, it is next to impossible. I can go weeks symptoms free but if something stressful happens my “OCD” like bad behaviors creep back in slowly but worse and worse the more overwhelmed and emotional I am. But what do you think of this? If this is true it comes with some sort of comfort of knowing there’s a name for it and it can be treated as well. Even though it sucks knowing I caused a lot of problems in my life and can’t push the blame on anyone else anymore, feel really guilty but also angry they didn’t see my ADHD as a real thing and only my doctor understands, my family, girlfriend and friends never tried to understand or learn about it. They just said get over it, it’s all in my head and they have anxiety to when it’s much more than just being inattentive and hyper. But anyways back to the point haha, have anyone heard of this and could OCD really have shaped my expierences in life. It seen as the same as ADHD in the fake illness category by most so I’m curious to see what other think who’s a bit more knowledgeable than me and can’t share there side.",6.088459627329192,6.49709870724638,6.584679089026919,77.11478260869569,66.27536231884058,10.049689440993786,30.921325051759833,9.957137785484203,2.8750455486542448,1414,50,270,30,21,461,180,345,0.18,0.715,0.104,-0.9895,0,0,2,0,1,0,19.0,0,2,3,4,25,20,1,3,16,1,25,8,1,3,4,72,53,41,0,6,20,0,2,1,2,1,7,2,0,2,28,18,0,1,15,2,1,6,7,10,1,0,8,9,27,11,48,39,11,36,0,2,5,0,15,17,1,14,14,206,55,6,0.0,0.10289796357897996,0.0,0.0,0.4174866602467376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694504817931856,0.07226258662221069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643672937400041,0.0,0.08612760679596279,0.12144907743678965,0.08898369141461793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20033696774969487,0.14502507827136746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948130209529548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921446548653103,0.0,0.07480988811676104,0.0,0.0,0.09740484683855473,0.06933923161972738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814656614405864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889026272275131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071345029159504,0.0,0.07254844573972803,0.09768973306536348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057360771470778366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187040500060587,0.0,0.08782359938232362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709677903644476,0.0,0.09074659664107453,0.0,0.04935641755912327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679737330511742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891287520140328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803823411660223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545626047323737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268338463780562,0.042428426477154266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292852257574525,0.0,0.0,0.07383311582218939,0.0,0.08217550932137574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384158841837688,0.0,0.13396152868521075,0.0,0.09236139634218317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605007480995442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290405565815095,0.0,0.07583032295684508,0.0,0.0,0.08209726564341685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309961436376229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737384205698899,0.0988494293352712,0.11127116948485903,0.0,0.0,0.09323978994028258,0.0,0.0,0.08261015634844318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20761435741395404,0.0,0.09059901441801084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761821516212224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685806937988945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948146578351068,0.0,0.099417558696488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026594386625457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153928596960866,0.1669416701900063,0.08532546776252486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058962535439282864,0.0,0.0,0.4520472271697488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165680481570658,0.0,0.0,0.06966238898879383,0.0,0.07808472178425174,0.0,0.07836474402818001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17700639300545815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pinned_Moth,2019/02/07,"Suffering Crippling Panic Attacks Has anyone experienced panic attacks that cause you to disassociate and kind of just black out? Like, you do things during these attacks and they'll last an hour or so, but you can't remember anything that you did or said? Did you find anything that helped?",8.703397435897436,9.290789211538463,7.735384615384617,70.47628205128207,60.73076923076921,10.01025641025641,36.56410256410256,9.725611199111238,3.6162102564102567,237,10,38,4,3,73,39,52,0.222,0.748,0.03,-0.8398,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,5,1,0,2,8,3,2,1,0,6,0,0,1,0,10,7,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,3,3,6,2,3,3,0,3,0,1,1,0,8,1,0,2,3,27,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148753254849238,0.0,0.3094949592833028,0.0,0.0,0.6417952357105027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931770941703859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187246341247192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260446091903383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851893986639292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19582305233101915,0.0,0.1532842168172934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918707531607184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4412676169409425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130217239889299,0.0,0.17887670867414202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493073406053433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darnitross,2019/02/07,Needle Phobia Help? I have an extreme phobia of needles. When I’m in a lab to get blood work done I break down to the point that nurses refuse to put the needle in. Nothing I have read has helped me. Looking away and distractions don’t help because I can still feel the tourniquet (I think that’s what it is) being tied around my arm. It has heavily impeded my healthcare and I have no idea what to do. Can anyone with the same issue offer any guidance? Thanks.,1.7540217391304367,4.18303418478261,2.748000000000001,91.74700000000001,82.15217391304347,4.984347826086957,21.156521739130433,6.2581,0.2858486956521737,363,11,72,3,10,115,66,92,0.126,0.787,0.087,-0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,6,0,12,2,2,0,0,9,18,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,2,9,1,11,16,1,10,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,2,50,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056310398401946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509381511117086,0.0,0.0,0.21018822976340207,0.0,0.0,0.22183340384648625,0.0,0.0,0.14393065044632056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24162281778704456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938446454127423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233578892818437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4747792813989061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26653979492756624,0.0,0.24643781506251056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827319032073173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265542056011562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232005558431885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23735607065346814,0.0,0.0,0.236174199826268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885579945886867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21737864644665014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128994974344212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718911141180026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WuBell,2019/02/07,"I live for those special 10 minutes I get every day. Every day I wake up, psychosis receives me. The hallucinations kick in. It's been 2 years since they are around, the first 6 months broke me, the extreme horror that this hallucinations induce drove me into detachment from emotions, friends, family, hobbies and whatnot. After my emotions disappeared, the hallucinations were still there. From that point every time they kickoff, I no longer feel fear,  but my body reacts physically to such hallucinations, like being injected a drug that makes you experiment the physical reactions of when someone or something is threatening your life.

The only thing that keeps me sane is when my body doesn't feel those physical reactions. Sometimes for a brief period of time, the hallucinations go away, and the physical sickness goes away. When this wonder happens, I'm able to focus, I physically feel amazing, no part of my body is flooded with whatever chemical reactions those terrible hallucinations trigger, I actually feel like a person, I feel like I can become anything, I feel successful, I feel strong. I feel like someday I'll be able to maintain a conversation again, like I'll be able to love someone or have passion for something.

Those 10 minutes the hallucinations go away I'm free. Those 10 minutes my body isn't releasing chemicals in my brain to feel physically afflicted, I'm in control. Every second of what other people would describe as ""normal"" physical and mental state, I would describe it as being in the paradise.

When the nightmare is unbearable I come to this sub. Makes me realize I'm not alone, and that I'm not the only one fighting everlasting demons, and seeing you fighting them, makes me want to outlive this torment.",8.788333333333334,9.57141404248366,8.662875816993463,63.23294117647061,60.5359477124183,11.505882352941176,39.875816993464056,11.20814326018867,4.9453738562091525,1411,70,212,36,18,457,160,306,0.09,0.737,0.173,0.986,0,1,3,0,4,0,42.0,0,3,3,4,9,18,2,1,16,0,17,11,6,7,0,37,45,14,0,4,5,0,9,5,1,2,3,0,0,1,19,9,0,2,12,0,1,7,6,5,0,3,3,10,31,14,30,36,1,34,1,1,1,2,13,11,0,3,20,137,50,1,0.2614668091885252,0.0,0.0850512962424447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026692001849093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172163518206315,0.07758696478681419,0.0,0.0,0.24565667419365594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625651611493974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3872409087142239,0.0,0.09729447710664477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507683475413819,0.0,0.0,0.09775241982632883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124163075447767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010728294802396,0.0,0.0,0.19607664524446572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29372941828312465,0.0,0.0,0.08525490364448879,0.08216254591761281,0.09807428414568277,0.3966164247729151,0.1867919407278212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413451144179271,0.0,0.0,0.06733620272753038,0.0,0.045535205385475966,0.0,0.09906507544454744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707141195267164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774679045603194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06156057994068347,0.2128991262847331,0.0,0.07695999426915835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866133454614567,0.0,0.174531125456388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783234867073146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956677085180482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085393986114896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905889224011762,0.13257152702235886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438102486554084,0.0,0.060422721249931165,0.07610091084614867,0.0,0.0,0.08239021607487805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945173156711693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209601549473375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476933192890474,0.1341932825505739,0.08619911999215027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960257718946752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790230995726847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164226606547322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051406632810274994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09451653371253728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238256795988575,0.0,0.0,0.05612535086377871
mentalhealth,PowerOfAPoint,2019/02/07,"I (don’t) want to get help Background: 18M, freshman at college, intended applied math major

I know I have a problem. I haven’t been formally diagnosed with any condition yet, but I strongly suspect anxiety and some sort of executive functioning disorder. 

My very first semester was literal hell. I slept poorly, ate poorly, barely exercised, and missed a lot of classes and homework assignments. YouTube became my best and only friend. All my attempts to “get disciplined” or “make myself feel better” unraveled within a couple of days. And I fear I’m going to check out again this semester. Actually, I already am, and it’s only been three weeks. 

The only option I have right now is to seek professional help. And I know that if I don’t see somebody about this, then I’m never going to get any better. Talking with friends only makes me feel worse about myself, and nobody has stepped up for me yet to get the treatment I deserve. So, following the logic, that means I must seek help on my own.  

And yet... I can’t. 

I can’t muster enough courage to make calls to therapists. I can’t ask my closest friends to help me make those calls. I can’t bring myself to even mention that I might have a problem, despite the fact that that’s all I think about whenever I’m with other people. 

I’m stuck in a vicious cycle. My presumable anxiety stops me from getting the help I need, thereby causing the anxiety to get worse, which in turn reduces my motivation to talk to someone, and so on and so forth. There were many moments when I could’ve broken this cycle, but I did nothing, choosing to let myself wither away physically and emotionally while at the same time holding on to the pipe dream that someday I’ll get better. But it hasn’t gotten better.

I have to believe that this is a common theme among people with these kinds of mental conditions. The question then is: what now? Is there anything I can do beyond what I’ve already tried? Any sort of advice, whether for me or in general, is appreciated. ",5.227905458089669,6.591163297368428,5.953099415204682,77.44928849902536,68.65789473684211,8.682261208576998,32.23196881091618,9.049649993220411,2.90050097465887,1583,69,280,29,27,517,200,380,0.123,0.713,0.16399999999999998,0.965,0,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,0,9,17,17,2,1,15,0,29,4,1,7,5,62,64,26,0,6,7,0,2,0,3,2,2,0,1,0,19,17,1,3,12,2,3,5,9,6,0,2,9,3,40,11,45,52,9,39,1,1,1,0,15,16,1,10,18,194,59,7,0.0,0.0,0.08589703944928581,0.0,0.0,0.08601434480868139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942695304422519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957448874276827,0.0,0.20201038991145326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243482931805675,0.0,0.08228894155698684,0.0,0.08269982142714759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917095734803978,0.09237394321448056,0.3113941837368062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976116100836598,0.0,0.0,0.09042311950277368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027862121673184,0.09739496901231298,0.0,0.056767083104712325,0.0,0.0,0.0893407525420492,0.0,0.0,0.10088114883202008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901320776838624,0.0,0.09095053611646327,0.0,0.058137880053280584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904952689031504,0.08901341031192402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487169902404489,0.0,0.0,0.2040173654342953,0.0,0.321916026479433,0.0,0.10005017053767333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949973652012201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166165035440378,0.09674947667945784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000873612259355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483338737550234,0.0,0.0,0.2350221984580646,0.0892407674831961,0.0,0.0958820580875271,0.0,0.0,0.08870574643785567,0.09337771983312478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526739886238171,0.06788820204782722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445974331147453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677796151167583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204711980035432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684508519839378,0.0,0.0,0.09860508872872054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517053876723329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014235396526125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458098485179895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359056020528155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414979349355787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220064132592999,0.0,0.056401117282423086,0.0,0.0,0.05132649426678392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059761344296993237,0.09574295497163177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262759228228277,0.05191781620672708,0.0,0.07060615663648627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940442886926067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Angelshear123,2019/02/07,"Feeling connected I wanted to share a few thoughts and feelings around lack of connectedness.  Having mental health issues has made me feel afraid to express fears and feelings.  Today is my first day on Reddit!  I find addressing my issues and fears on here to be therapeutic, I am relating to other posts and can truly empathize. I believe we all have a voice that needs to be heard and we truly need people in our lives who understand and accept us as the unique people we are.  Today there is so much more awareness and support for people with mental health issues, for this I am grateful!",8.092140672782875,8.085855110091742,7.6252752293578,72.74996177370032,62.11926605504587,9.468501529051991,32.84556574923548,8.841846274778883,2.8214574923547406,473,16,77,6,6,149,76,109,0.067,0.7759999999999999,0.157,0.8673,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,5,0,0,1,4,6,0,3,3,0,11,2,0,1,1,26,23,9,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,4,12,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,6,13,3,14,18,5,9,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,4,61,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263676495106119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599316405103397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154749506008356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31947162255874323,0.2871014078979724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974183757616878,0.1207445604330307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017773302413033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4444839866870993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534648840647133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431870583095495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861090772918892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435127941845658,0.21051167501126705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952355701386972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359510715567599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108579659339667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269427610562414,0.0,0.0,0.2691083793479324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477773585569201,0.17075114806442113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372714895264938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dLayUnicorn,2019/02/07,"I need people to talk to I'm feeling to dull and tired to write a full post, but I think the title says enough. I've been dealing with mental health issues for a few years now but I'm starting to feel like I'm slowly reaching an all time low. They always say it's better to share your thoughts with someone else so that's exactly what I want to do. I've never been diagnosed or anything but I feel like it's time I take my own life seriously and do something about it. This is a cry for help, I really need this person that can keep me motivated and give me the energy I need to get through life right now. Doesn't have to be a professional in any way, I'm happy to have a mutual motivational relationship with anyone who's dealing with stuff as well. Just anyone, please.",3.2818541666666685,4.5073291437500025,4.802500000000002,84.37916666666669,73.1875,7.833333333333335,23.958333333333336,8.344100000000001,1.284895833333334,613,17,130,10,12,206,102,160,0.07400000000000001,0.698,0.228,0.9782,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,3,6,9,0,0,8,0,10,5,0,2,3,28,28,9,0,4,5,0,3,2,0,0,5,2,0,1,10,7,0,1,7,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,3,5,12,6,20,24,5,13,0,2,0,0,14,4,0,1,9,78,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116624824685577,0.0,0.0,0.09531399588560624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960070629403294,0.0,0.11534020904526544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396063670550307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539598079016443,0.0,0.28899879246797583,0.0,0.14226003114074473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708617364945405,0.0,0.0,0.1448233390927146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260819104290946,0.200261482576142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732281144280628,0.13445479309936648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920353613164047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898413479315048,0.0,0.0,0.09394667755951867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629122325178606,0.0,0.1245811571864511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979991153654552,0.13695075227385026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412488913687284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31178186652058154,0.1081004744488528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716969338972603,0.12238280601451007,0.0,0.15385421961856174,0.0,0.0,0.13423508488122604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979045201893034,0.0,0.0,0.15048000166884726,0.0,0.1196963634357124,0.0,0.22292262641356556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875759858336395,0.10790245664758924,0.0,0.0,0.09920637490400712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604503228518845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538330762533764,0.11265575931214775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980923568103928,0.0,0.111271838797909,0.16345751440366044,0.16109396010001958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267033733404287,0.11125293883358588,0.0,0.0,0.1260211876488711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025881360532703
mentalhealth,anonymous619619,2019/02/07,"Voices telling me to do things Daily I have this voice in my head that tells me to do things such as bang my head off the wall or even seemingly meaningless things like placing objects in certain ways, the voice is not physical, like I cannot literally hear things, but it is sort of using telekenis and I can understand what it says without actually hearing anything. I’d say it’s similar to the voice you hear when you read a book to yourself in your head. Has anyone had similar experiences or any advice? ",5.178979591836736,6.565198530612246,5.7638775510204106,78.67397959183674,68.79591836734693,9.273469387755103,32.36734693877551,9.606745405546679,3.0891673469387766,408,18,76,9,7,132,68,98,0.021,0.926,0.054000000000000006,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,9,3,3,1,1,11,15,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,0,0,10,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,9,10,3,11,14,0,8,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,4,3,52,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.14427025139299365,0.0,0.0,0.144467274175132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005360867723631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337297741359748,0.0,0.1216595019144344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764674806626572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461562521298388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.455178647543572,0.0,0.4998783647625089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445404986135355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544610528920947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787973860725998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23513617600856246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458773869999235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258436882521426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928725925567409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390637389870335,0.0,0.12768606030703405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734829715541155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251222508456468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MikeH2387,2019/02/07,Gabapentin (Neurontin) for anxiety? Has anyone been prescribed Gabapentin for their anxiety issues? I was recently prescribed 100 mg 3x per day for my anxiety. It’s the first medication I have ever taken. What’s your experience with it? ,5.177999999999997,8.724070800000002,5.82,67.58500000000001,78.5,10.2,35.5,9.888512548439397,5.208349999999999,192,11,27,7,5,62,31,40,0.146,0.8540000000000001,0.0,-0.5632,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,5,0,4,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,19,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6695299589439074,0.0,0.0,0.20398805649677976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18814508915666692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638912183374254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853730352395067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481498382117981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30449578567230584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938925528408373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880533451289985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spicy_Meme_Queen,2019/02/07,"Feeling happy the next week, Apathetic and angry the next Hey reddit, 

​

I've tried talking to my friends about this but am going no where so I thought I'd reach out here for help. 

I'm a 20-something in art school at the moment working towards a bachelor's degree in design. I take 4 classes per week as well as work 20 hours part time. I also go to church every Sunday and try to hang out with my 5 year-old brother (he doesn't live with me) the best I can. 

​

Last week was rough, I had several projects due, one of which was very rushed and a downright embarrassment for me. I was very stressed but that is not uncommon at all. I figured a nice relaxing weekend and I would be fine. 

​

That has not been the case. 

​

I am so apathetic and angry right now and I don't know why. I feel frustrated with all my responsibilities and am struggling to keep up with school, work, and taking care of things like getting errands done that I've been putting off for months. 

​

Basically I feel like I'm losing control. Usually when this happens I bounce right back and move forward but this time... I feel stuck. I feel angry, I feel overwhelmed but no matter how much I relax I just feel worse. 

​

Anyone have any advice? Anyone gone through something similar? I'd appreciate anything. 

​

Thanks for listening, 

Spicy",3.210103359173125,5.8985034728682235,3.6870542635658943,85.64773901808788,78.22480620155041,6.14780361757106,27.385012919896642,7.3871296695380915,1.6379602067183456,1088,46,199,15,27,340,159,258,0.163,0.653,0.185,0.5372,0,0,2,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,0,6,12,18,1,4,9,0,18,0,0,2,2,39,41,20,0,1,7,1,8,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,8,15,0,2,10,4,0,8,6,6,1,1,10,9,23,12,27,29,5,38,1,2,0,0,7,13,0,0,21,119,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057814398778858224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0473134480157136,0.0,0.4487293612919648,0.5032353484959864,0.04023356462915684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273772137352875,0.0,0.04868695003126959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04549348190017842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208899226816599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060321664776353916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635748289116535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054533709239698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049848241309481664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20940575483777948,0.04226679002959904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045709977598371934,0.0,0.0309107602418511,0.0,0.06724855569409634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052318550365644034,0.06298120289758652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03965639765876459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826464521393589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05258770228510755,0.0,0.0,0.03251499990398967,0.04822657546376706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057809106537035776,0.0,0.05224291646276325,0.0,0.0,0.06618940844299087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047224158898508437,0.06288199356803358,0.04349236458673253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584321985001334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062082689938383666,0.0,0.04009107332951396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406887168514798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059476184576685125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105150517339784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975430028599852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683850590007871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109471117727366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777218873572956,0.06185108298502628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896796485727089,0.04755380079303245,0.0,0.05447028366915727,0.0,0.0,0.03930594812051411,0.0,0.0,0.046969625773048335,0.06899803548026621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033697631324149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516081297695978,0.09763303067402836,0.0,0.0,0.14237343219101092,0.0,0.05319556221312133,0.0,0.053386328605798006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921634069305388,0.0,0.06029319421319292,0.04202842461632336,0.0,0.5032353484959864,0.03809969120274123
mentalhealth,houlaw19,2019/02/07,"Feel myself slipping, any tips to slow the decline? I have had generalized anxiety and slip in and out of depression. I also suffered with an eating disorder for around 8 years consistently and on and off periodically since. Lately, I feel myself declining. I am falling back into negative eating habits and I am starting to feel numb, exhausted, and lacking motivation to do anything. I know all of these feelings well. However, everything in my life otherwise is fine, even great. I cannot pin any trigger for my decline and have even been focused on and keeping up with healthy habits. All of this to no avail. 

​

That being said, does anyone have any tips or advice on how to stop the decline? I am starting to feel stuck and I am not sure how to give myself the self care I may need. I don't even know what that self care could be. Thank you in advance. ",4.213882559158634,6.403833214723928,5.021879929886066,79.79541411042949,72.68098159509202,7.847326906222611,30.047765118317265,8.634040054169528,2.5345078001752857,686,30,123,13,14,222,100,163,0.165,0.7,0.135,-0.5606,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,2,9,11,0,0,4,0,17,5,0,4,3,37,34,13,0,3,2,0,5,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,5,14,2,2,8,0,0,2,5,4,1,0,4,6,17,7,25,26,3,21,0,2,0,0,5,11,0,2,8,92,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296840699624554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881707576365386,0.0,0.14743442465076328,0.16534290035270907,0.2776017623386135,0.0,0.10409503904246947,0.0,0.0,0.09514500921836452,0.0,0.11197601849889162,0.12113331468513293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463130197232713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27746982904218725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864276569061544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719898742883568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559507973464328,0.0,0.1190779033734753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784721396112799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26962367663271264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229312906604045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440115540264253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053307709413522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002033811217702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094743088465043,0.0,0.0,0.14956370150121168,0.0,0.15349563168193686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611198379320296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089598513855734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294360443601395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839064484936196,0.0,0.0,0.11256052297527183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192625537328434,0.0,0.0,0.11376264717498576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824665805213334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527721469223396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234545919614435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534290035270907,0.0876261857475191
mentalhealth,reese___,2019/02/07,"Should I do something if I continuously dread it? So yeah, you can see the title. To give a little back ground; I’m a female, in high school, and I have the whole depression/anxiety mixture. I have a really bad habit of dreading some things, like parties, sometimes school/work but I’m WORKING at it (sorry), and then it’s usually mostly social events and the self defense class I have to go to 2 times a week. 

It’s BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) and if you know anything about it you know that it’s REALLY up close and personal. I have a bit of a problem with this, but I’m not going to tell my partners that because I don’t want to disappoint them or offend them. There’s no reason why I’m taking this class either, just for exercise mostly and I’ve been getting okay at it 
(this is like my 5th month?), but it seems like everyday and the day before I have to go there , I’ll think about it and my stomach drops, my hands start to get sweaty, and I just feel really sad. 

It’s not the people, well no it is,  they’re very nice, but of course my social anxiety won’t let me take a break and it’s gotten so bad to the point where when one of them says ‘hey’ all I can say back is that really choked out and barely heard ‘hi’,  hell sometimes I can’t even do that and I’ll just nod to them. It’s so bad, and it always makes me feel like such an idiot afterwards. Then, whenever I can’t get the technique wrong or something like that, I will blame myself so so much afterwards. It’s made me want to start cutting again, but I’m determined not to start. 

The few minutes, or hour, before I go to the class, I start to shiver almost and my heart starts to race. Then sometimes there’s this feeling almost as if my heart gets cold, not emotionally, like physically and it only last for like a second before it’s gone. I don’t know what it is, but after talking to someone who dreads stuff too they said it was like your heart skipping a beat. (if so then that romantic trope just got a whole less romantic)

After the class, if I had made a small mistake or something, I will lie to my mom, say I enjoyed it, and go take a shower. Depending on how much of a perfectionist I was that day, will determine how much I cry in the shower. Yeah. It sucks. 

I don’t do it because of the self defense, it’s just a nice aspect to have I guess, but I was mostly doing it for the exercise and to be honest, I’d way rather just get a gym membership that’s probably cheaper and sit on an elliptical for like an hour. I’ve beaten myself up over it so much, and I just don’t think it’s worth it, but I don’t want to give into my anxiety. I think it would be better to take baby steps and get better at coping with my anxiety and then maybe once I’m better come back. I’m not sure though, what do you guys think? And just to clarify, even if I take my mind off of it by reading or playing video games yeah that helps, but I don’t think I should have to do that for some extracurricular activity, you know?",3.164002932551324,4.006640338709681,4.579325513196483,87.32853372434019,73.03225806451613,7.765395894428152,23.929618768328446,8.07648339933343,1.0918870967741934,2310,61,511,33,44,771,253,620,0.134,0.7190000000000001,0.147,0.4998,2,0,3,0,0,0,75.0,0,6,5,6,35,39,8,3,31,4,42,7,5,7,2,104,100,59,0,15,35,1,4,9,1,7,2,5,2,5,48,28,0,2,14,7,1,8,16,19,1,2,12,11,57,20,55,78,16,63,1,2,1,0,33,20,2,21,40,337,105,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694496026679458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05274269277238388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939621688049515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052161735088372616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622104791534632,0.15877538097715946,0.07727971298005752,0.0,0.16181187274086162,0.0,0.0,0.16818077442570414,0.06920170268865344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054601905767735034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962715587649577,0.08175817016550885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130134442902718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373244546826968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615044250913456,0.045283368605834234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870115742474154,0.12161232161905805,0.18012020392210898,0.0,0.05069601967943755,0.0,0.069827438212854,0.06276265652334061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22534012382616495,0.042486672669105316,0.06697137707168031,0.0,0.0,0.12484597974263735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934237493218,0.05166850361225698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481704855892542,0.0,0.27870722740378273,0.06352998182662066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995578470531355,0.04231101864693874,0.0,0.06368031570416778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400235255641215,0.07423756884264117,0.05059454462958021,0.0,0.18638564941800706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750461392480395,0.042952371119561294,0.048208332501395085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043944257143006586,0.05534669617423076,0.0,0.0,0.05992078420775266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834142871799292,0.06065237399825321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634037097701983,0.0,0.16242820471527253,0.0651719370649776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602951305762606,0.15122260155985873,0.0,0.12830115838432588,0.05051087881971107,0.057704740375722215,0.1322520049804367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922922372329407,0.053707223598022484,0.14639420386763718,0.18807277541013992,0.07095606043189719,0.22432665458364776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256244205487168,0.0,0.0,0.05974107932182554,0.0,0.23829400954753094,0.050947713048738685,0.055402644228432815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04211121156578455,0.2030777297379924,0.06227696989849488,0.0,0.036961210817562574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698113367640445,0.052300547463157904,0.11216109988128437,0.05031329812279927,0.05084487218032894,0.0,0.0569921266839627,0.0,0.0571965080640281,0.14153765326374804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229233607761507,0.0,0.0,0.045027991065578976,0.06930324890920972,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lexford_,2019/02/07,"Terminal illness and how it’s NOT ok to not be ok... I am 28, and my vibrant, independent, active and wonderful mother was diagnosed with the most aggressive form of Motor Neurone Disease (ALS) in May 2018 at the age of 65. It has been a swift and devastating decline, and my brother and I are desperately, gut wrenchingly sad, but we continue to put all we can into caring from her. We are now clearly nearing the last few months of her life, and as we struggle to accept her imminent death and collect our thoughts, there is something that has continuously struck me... 

If you have a terminal illness, it’s NOT ok to not be ok. 

Family will ask how she is, will visit and tell her how brave she is, but when my mum breaks down or becomes hysterical they can’t handle it and make their excuses and leave.

Her closest friends will spend time with her and tell her that she’s handling things amazingly but when my mums says she wants to die, they can’t handle it and make their excuses and leave. 

Hospice staff and care workers who spend all their time with sick and dying people will tell mum that they understand and that’s she’s so strong and that she is making everyone proud, but when my mum cries or has a panic attack because she can’t feel her legs or screams, they can’t handle it and make their excuses and find someone else to take over. 

Everyone can uphold bravery in the face of something terrible, but very very few people can tolerate despair. 

And so for everyone around her, all the well wishes and visitors and carers and doctors, mum is really utterly, heartbreakingly alone. 

Even in the face of terminal illness, it feels as though poor mental health is still a taboo. ",10.586098557692312,7.600714278125,9.829375000000002,68.43350961538465,59.34375,13.471153846153848,41.490384615384606,11.661520659325953,4.658942307692307,1339,54,247,29,13,429,169,320,0.206,0.665,0.129,-0.9787,0,1,2,0,0,0,36.0,5,1,8,3,15,22,2,2,10,4,29,13,5,8,4,70,44,44,3,3,13,7,2,0,1,5,8,2,0,0,14,33,0,1,7,0,3,2,8,9,1,0,3,4,38,13,27,34,7,25,0,3,0,0,48,10,0,7,12,176,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031467176968427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341385526413643,0.10860108995451792,0.13215749511885402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081473339436478,0.1282980646696481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368813634409293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760473066648953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790773972592927,0.24112740187212495,0.0,0.0,0.11890253267670915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704318196378342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672765042261276,0.0,0.0,0.3330095607843371,0.0,0.0,0.1095125406052872,0.0,0.1174757287860982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617514581276036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975085366510968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348080095036867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946921557312706,0.0,0.2460095784563464,0.0,0.0,0.08205266079752709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101712870905887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706968841868975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272392587890654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362977310062633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107207098962525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678059406205545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441998403646741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238119380202764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842848980111901,0.1788630955887434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092771651311017,0.0,0.0,0.12144367137505152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734363058484568,0.0,0.30460699159623544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717663808389842,0.0,0.11413414594613865,0.09222415391452678,0.13547660512942328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093464132873966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170098760271514,0.06851870155851053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444868649406512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358708743500108,0.0,0.12597888271919275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Certified_insane,2019/02/07,"What do you call this? 1 hour or more before: the light changes, it gets darker but also sharper. I feel cold and numb.
1 hour before: I get small tremors in my hands. I feel tired. 
30 mins before: I hear words but dont understand all of them. Talking is difficult but I can think clearly inside. 
5 mins before: everything is far away. My vision is dull. My thoughts slow. 
Start: I tense up. I curl up. I hyperventalate and stop breathing enough that it scares people. I feel like every cell in my brain is convulsing. It hits like waves. When the waves come I sometimes cant keep from flailing slightly or screaming into my chest but then go back to just not being able to think or talk. This lasts for 10 mins- 3 hours.
Ending: I stop shaking. Breath slows down. I can understand words again. There is a sense of relief. This lasts for 10 mins- 1 hour.
After: exhausted, but think very clearly. I feel calm.

Is this a severe panic attack or something different?",1.2556354515050143,3.921257239130437,2.1123913043478275,92.52257525083613,90.7391304347826,4.56989966555184,19.03344481605351,6.297961479604792,0.12342458193979945,748,22,145,8,26,233,118,184,0.219,0.669,0.112,-0.9705,1,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,1,0,6,13,1,3,4,0,12,8,5,0,3,33,30,14,0,0,11,0,5,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,9,4,0,3,10,0,0,3,3,9,0,0,1,9,20,4,15,27,3,33,0,1,0,0,7,9,0,4,23,82,29,0,0.1151377126600546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207558721613583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098576997069558,0.10817567114585458,0.08853379400872223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918948527218558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853176565639693,0.1175684777939231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180043327845733,0.09918094446682517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202944039168086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494054173664502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197783873312856,0.11896803542847804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700848876492388,0.0,0.10347835201628712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328683480884229,0.0822544049299458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030940546207405,0.0,0.06543541545433851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976857012195211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4535498169764537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233968927059556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877052060874903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250094115038776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350892980005276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982199276846261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152729363090878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007284265892002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863863632540689,0.11387414188448353,0.0,0.08149506563134146,0.0,0.0,0.19252056661860006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850866641942232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22132679164646946,0.0,0.09140648284477697,0.0,0.13233386326097396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397248388572851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950006711412848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mostabk,2019/02/07,"serious question what is anxiety? is it a feeling or something else? and how it has types.. like social anxiety, I don't think I've experience it before that's why I'm asking",1.6504285714285702,4.16920082857143,4.679642857142858,77.09660714285717,83.57142857142857,8.071428571428571,28.75,8.841846274778883,3.0577142857142863,139,7,25,4,4,50,29,35,0.153,0.726,0.121,0.168,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,6,8,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,14,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4790720590985966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29272503773219044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664421539457293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615716758818641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30629155374702355,0.0,0.0,0.15832293743980322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297467100087458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35076618768649065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31918652326005154,0.0,0.2410551608047335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006347253014727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825421994434197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sniperbullet1997,2019/02/07,"has anyone taken olanzapine/zyprexa or valproate/valproic acid for anxiety? how that work out for social situations does it make you calm/relaxed around people and confident?

",7.627738095238098,11.478358678571427,7.014285714285716,61.39738095238097,69.35714285714286,9.447619047619048,37.904761904761905,9.725611199111238,5.170176190476192,145,8,17,4,3,45,27,28,0.06,0.8140000000000001,0.126,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025995016792675,0.0,0.0,0.2765821756885081,0.0,0.0,0.35212898710306817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.346154000740848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640369147651851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742289467078783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4446218762002707,0.0,0.4032198540777409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879697115986141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TengenaDesu,2019/02/07,"Regressing. (just wanna vent a little) (Pathetic attempt to write in English warning)

Imagine finally believing in yourself; you become a lot more confident, try new things, and finally aiming for achievements you previously did not give a damn for. 

You try your best to become better than who you think you are, but at the middle of it all, you hit a brick wall. It halts your progress, and everything you cherrished comes crashing down, and finally it made you realize who you really are. 

What if you can't be better because you are predestined to be a no life? What if you really can't excede the bar you've set to yourself? What if all your potential is just something you've made up all in your head?


Those statements are exactly what I'm feeling since the last few months. From finally achieving peace and resolution fron the turmoils I've been keeping in my head, to self-loathing to the point of extreme sadness.

My feelings have been impeding me in every way recently. From school, relationships, to even basic personal care. I've been avoiding responsibility for quite a while now, I'm too unproductive and I'm starting to see myself as a very dumb person. Everytime I try to exert effort into anything, my thoughts would always be too pessimistic and I always end up too discouraged to do anything.

It's been affecting my life too much, and I've had enough. I tried doing my best to be determined again but I always end up defeated.

I don't know what to do anymore.


(I'll reply with details if asked, if that helps)


Thanks a lot in advance.
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mentalhealth,CatLeftie,2019/02/07,"any tips on dealing with anxiety? hi everyone, i have been struggling a lot with my anxiety lately, and was wondering if there was any tips on how to cope? Everytime someone talks to me i start to sweat and my face goes red which makes me embarrassed and more anxious. I can't walk properly when im out because i think people will think my legs look weird or my butt jiggles or some stupid shit. I'm going to college tomorrow and it scares me beyond anything, i get so sweaty when i think that people are looking at my red face then i stink... it sucks.",3.3498383838383816,5.084009781818182,4.194848484848485,86.75671717171717,73.9090909090909,7.7979797979797985,27.676767676767675,8.515128840125781,1.9642828282828275,436,17,88,8,9,140,76,110,0.219,0.7809999999999999,0.0,-0.9681,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,3,3,1,0,7,6,6,2,0,18,19,12,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,8,0,0,3,5,15,0,11,15,3,13,0,0,4,1,3,5,3,6,6,54,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601913064617499,0.0,0.2926994120261709,0.2161230098847609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742976359461902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166192700884908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972296216296453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18280250474095408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999502674593328,0.0,0.10872445509732707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066449174402408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158031811850251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213002187041983,0.0,0.0,0.1626427865492751,0.0,0.0,0.12769923492287916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26525705104111075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915321710828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637438904703933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162094215233357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540842588630705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999612557677265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376571364738426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3677463442865107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074648119828261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MysteriousMandrill,2019/02/07,"Rejected from ""let's talk wellbeing"" services. Twice. Apologies but I gotta get this little rant out.
 

I first called this service last year in early December at the request of my GP. I'd fallen into a very deep depression but I was looking to focus specifically on my anxiety once and for all. I was rejected because they were concerned about alcoholism and told me to seek help from other organisations before getting back in touch to seek help for my other issues. 


GP puts me on Sertraline. I suffered horrible side effects so I quit after 3 weeks. I asked my GP about other medications because I've since developed a fear of SSRIs. I ask about Gabapentin, something I've heard as being successful in the treatment of anxiety disorders with minimal to no negative side effects. She said she can't prescribe it until I've been assessed by a psychiatrist. She books me in with them for 31st Jan.


I quit drinking for January (except for one slip up on the 26th) and call up the service that rejected me again. They arrange another initial phone assessment. 


I get a letter explaining that due to unforseen circumstances my appointment with the psychiatrist is postponed until the end of February. I'm disheartened by this immensely but try to stay as positive as I can. 


I finally get my second initial assessment. The call goes well, it looked like I was going to be getting therapy and group sessions. 



Today I got a voice mail. They rejected me because of the future appointment with the psychiatrist, that I didn't make, to discuss medication that a GP could have just trialed me on. They don't explain why beyond ""we wouldn't normally run our service alongside that"". 


I'm so tired. I'm trying, I really am, but I'm getting let down at every turn. In multiple areas of life. I'm starting to lose any of the positivity I've been holding on to and it sucks because this isn't me.


Anyway, thanks for reading this if you did. I just needed to let it out. ",4.587242199894233,6.80302505191257,5.876264762912045,73.96128767847705,71.70491803278688,9.31274457958752,33.11792702273929,9.778596075983213,3.751743627710207,1563,78,261,42,31,523,200,366,0.185,0.746,0.069,-0.9932,0,4,3,0,0,0,40.0,2,1,5,7,12,14,1,1,16,0,22,6,0,3,1,32,51,17,0,5,8,0,1,1,0,2,5,3,0,0,17,13,2,1,4,3,0,4,7,10,1,4,12,6,41,4,61,31,1,45,0,8,2,0,31,24,1,1,17,182,58,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103544112546892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022089747968836,0.10827797157417328,0.15798848688494785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19306985204549368,0.0,0.0,0.07940119544345317,0.0,0.2517873458694935,0.0,0.08786735094393949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163225225291337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244536108706119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889383915825971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118345843989798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115629023267833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145843567205952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700169310872305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619712892190905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131171792136602,0.0,0.08783359938441036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236970941007681,0.0,0.0586855027460093,0.0,0.08258710953369594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842709986436616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777746641186818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417134903784962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167735488605672,0.07293616982459482,0.05044801996723604,0.10349446763207988,0.0,0.0,0.17342616111692216,0.11552244270069505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892739811867908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080488219077668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656658843416818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117367768913836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996940153269824,0.06997220296215813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380564332636301,0.0,0.21966118199801632,0.10328876224888134,0.0,0.06615152441456243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822468479255923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541841605240308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949522287524949,0.0,0.0,0.07308853874751706,0.11006229313057332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299713438359177,0.0,0.09506868805876408,0.11808774511558337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186831204764208,0.09787918187728227,0.09867013713105632,0.0,0.14021463495760125,0.11231811833410202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520098953180788,0.0,0.0,0.08282959992787707,0.0,0.09284387687177344,0.0,0.0931768274175725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649658151384992
mentalhealth,seifkhatib_,2019/02/07,"I think there's something wrong with me Lately there is a girl that I saw on Facebook and I just can't take her out of my mind, it's been 3 months and it makes me cry sometimes (I don't like her but there's something that is making me feel bad) have you ever faced anything like that?",0.015345622119816937,2.102029290322584,1.1868663594470057,102.32887096774193,86.74193548387095,3.542857142857143,16.921658986175114,3.1291,-1.196182488479263,224,5,54,0,7,70,44,62,0.14800000000000002,0.852,0.0,-0.7446,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,6,1,1,2,1,12,12,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,11,2,4,10,0,5,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,5,35,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21361039832889825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167366066197304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851340062996087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348029662501805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125032675823425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928150461578426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536331864387258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465403722311648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620995639888005,0.0,0.20719251024306812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996713190646735,0.2567290652309141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951701883098784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632696235110722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838075570128613,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MysticalTurkey,2019/02/07,"Seeking guidance Thursday February 7th 2019


I know that I need help mentally it's not something that people want to admit but at this point in life I'm almost 27 years old and I know something's wrong and I have to come to grips that I'm not okay. I'm aware that if I don't drop these down as notes I'll forget where I was when I was thinking about them.

Current circumstances have me in a rut and financially leading me towards homelessness. Depression continues to take hold of my mental state amongst other various ailments. Anxiety, jealousy, and various other things are causing mental cloudiness to where I'm unable to think clearly on a regular basis.

I'm not one whom wants to be chemically dependent on medication to temporarily put my mind at ease. I know that if I ended up seeing the doctor in regards to where I am currently they just prescribed various antidepressants and anxiety medication.

I feel that my continuous mood swings are a side effect of said depression and until one becomes under control the other will remain present. 

The lack of a social circle and being primarily an introvert doesn't help my current situation either. there are a few that I tend to daily communicate with online but in a physical context I'm alone in my bedroom quite frequently throughout the day. I'm not much of a social butterfly so I'm more awkward in person than over the internet.

I'm not sure where this is actually leading but I wanted to get my thoughts written down rather than just talked to myself in my car on the way home. 

All in all I know that in the long run I do need help and without medical insurance I know that I don't have the funds necessary to seek professional assistance. 

Thank you to whomever has taken the time to read throughout this post if you've gone through similar circumstances please comment below but you think they put my mind at ease.
",5.913644067796612,7.4063459237288125,6.6324000000000005,72.73209152542374,67.1638418079096,9.957785310734463,34.21649717514124,10.17224662633116,3.79701527683616,1523,71,257,38,25,501,197,354,0.102,0.815,0.084,-0.8077,3,1,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,3,5,11,8,0,1,17,1,18,5,0,6,4,59,53,19,0,10,17,0,2,0,0,1,5,1,2,1,19,10,0,2,12,1,1,8,9,4,0,2,7,4,33,3,49,43,10,56,0,2,1,0,16,28,0,5,16,178,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.10206364683703946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473064223445004,0.10832252361648108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002039360551853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551018621179125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744157649674667,0.0,0.0900940477867181,0.0,0.0,0.11730530744858245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745116664223287,0.0,0.1801644753779189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070511369435292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263469233328238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528832735801131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05464336613832766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103111382612721,0.0,0.10491116102004944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28739652969386115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387420965623903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255785586715366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31608683987608777,0.3162029344047857,0.0,0.2112098809960261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688485122137972,0.15510263893076945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974842192856443,0.0,0.14174424580195852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250875124826424,0.0913229642783759,0.0,0.1148071682605272,0.09887028520204028,0.0,0.10016722332759333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102813974749355,0.0,0.11124313390245184,0.10461716999751536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994879629028261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334378564532194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756226834537807,0.0,0.2132303569603025,0.0,0.16103523877052595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857376916743346,0.0,0.07863781156206509,0.08406456934969117,0.0,0.09629137655962372,0.0,0.0,0.06948419572208951,0.2010489681286286,0.0,0.08303187752147019,0.06098660929194483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18506767026594328,0.08301777422687391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081993529885863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143515071719476,0.0,0.06735180111584131
mentalhealth,feelinghopeless100,2019/02/07,"Episodes of feeling normal again with depersonalization Yesterday when I was in the car with my friends, I was just sitting and staring, and for a brief second I felt completely normal again. I felt a wave of happiness, I could feel my body normally, I didn’t feel numb to what was going on, but it only lasted for a few seconds then it was gone. For those few brief seconds I felt completely in my body and in control. 

Is this a sign that my DP is getting better? 

I’ve only struggled with DP for two weeks now, and it was induced by marijuana.",8.154018691588785,6.390968700934581,8.415813084112152,72.84110280373835,62.92523364485982,11.176822429906542,38.22242990654205,9.888512548439397,3.6142949532710285,429,18,83,7,5,142,64,107,0.047,0.861,0.092,0.5647,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,1,5,0,9,3,2,2,0,22,18,7,0,4,2,0,6,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,7,0,0,5,1,2,0,4,10,7,11,3,15,7,2,18,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,8,64,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118143789941046,0.0,0.3546300956107774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347420074813351,0.0,0.17904074290239114,0.12745307799778854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24214404603246095,0.0,0.4598149556068781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333120532445264,0.0,0.08340107605431092,0.0,0.0907224840816471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16993111951163845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012129939938788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4692160891946376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24281449735932298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688191541440905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559371650217674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280470765236313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,temp667667,2019/02/07,"Need some advise. Sorry about the rash and unstructured post, I just feel that there is so much to say and I find it quite hard explaining it all in one big wall of text, so there are probably some details I've unintentionally missed out. If more information is needed about anything, just let me know. 

​

I was diagnosed with major depression and severe anxiety around 6 years ago (aged 17-18), tried multiple medications over the span of around a year and after waiting a few months got into therapy, nothing seemed to help, moved from my home town, got into university, things picked up but always had a constant loud nagging in my mind that everything was pointless, this feeling was extremely overwhelming and impossible to shake. I'd drink to help myself cope, against my better judgement, but when I say it was the only thing that ""took the edge off"" I mean it. Got into my first relationship, this created happiness for a long time, but still suffered with extreme bouts of depression, and constantly suffered with anxiety, I could only leave the house at night when the city wasn't busy, etc. Quit drinking around 6 months ago, after relying on it from the age of 16 (I'm now 24.) and I feel that my mental health is deteriorating quickly, I'm experiencing new, much harder to deal with symptoms that I've never had before and I'm unsure what is causing them, some of these new symptoms include:

Not feeling real, feel like everything is staged.

Waking up with headaches around 4 times a week.

Find it hard to view myself as a living human entity. Just feel like an abstract concept rather than a person.

Getting angry about the smallest of things. Sometimes just giving up on life all together when I'm inconvenienced

Becoming extremely aggressive to strangers who in all honesty do gawk at me as I walk past, I'd think I was making this up, but others have noticed.

Find it hard to focus or find interest in anything, feel like I can only do things for 15 mins at max and then I get bored/lose interest.

Becoming more and more self consumed 

extreme disassociation 

​

Also, here is a list of things I've experienced for the majority of my adult life:

Find it hard to be around people

Can't talk in group situations, perform better in 1:1 contact

Can't make eye contact with anyone

Used to self harm (ages 16-22) but have become 2 years clean, still have thoughts though.

Have had multiple suicide attempts (last one was around two years ago but death is constantly on my mind) 

Loneliness 

Fluctuating changes in interest in hobbies. 

​

​

I went to the doctors last week, and they gave me two options, either go back on medication or be put onto another 8 month waiting list to see a therapist. Other than that they more or less said there was nothing they could do.

​

I'm not too sure what to do as therapy didn't work the first time and I don't think I'm even going to be living anywhere near the same area 8 months from now. 

Also, I've never had as many suicide attempts as I have had while on medication. So I really do not want to go down that rout again 

​

With these new symptoms, I'm not sure if depression and anxiety are the only problems anymore ? With how quickly my mental health is going down hill, and the clear indicator i have received from the NHS that they are unable to help, I'm worried that there's nothing I can do to begin to recover. If any of these symptoms seem familiar to you, could you let me know? 

Thank you.

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mentalhealth,Komfortable,2019/02/07,"Depressed and lonely. I guess I’m just going to jump right in. 

I’m alone. 

A lot.

I’m married and my wife travels for work during the week. I work as a truck driver for a large parsel delivery company, but I don’t deliver packages, I move trailers from one terminal to another. I get up to go to work at midnight, and get back home at about 1130. Bedtime is 1530. When I’m at work I don’t interact with people beyond picking up paperwork, and that’s just long enough to say “thank you” and then I leave. Working Tuesday through Saturday means that when my wife is home I still have to work, so the only time we get together is Saturday afternoon and Sunday. That’s where over 90% of my human contact comes from; Saturday afternoon and Sunday. Chores to do? Hang out with friends? Projects around the house? That’s when it all has to get done. It’s horrible. I can go a couple of days without actually saying a single word out loud other than to myself or Siri. 

I’m falling apart inside. I miss my wife. 

Finding another job is difficult; I get paid a lot for a very minimal amount of work. There’s hope ahead that I’ll get back to working days (spoke to my boss and there IS a plan) but no solid end date.

I just need to know it’s ok. I need someone to sit with me and talk. 

It snowed and iced today so I didn’t go to work, but I still got up at midnight. Just sat in the kitchen staring out the front window for nearly two hours. Looked at reddit a couple of times, checked the weather forecast, thought about putting on NPR or something to listen to, but decided against it (they play BBC on my local station from 0000-0500 and I don’t care for it much). 

What can I do? I guess this is more of a rant/vent than anything, but if anyone is in a similar situation and can let me know how they cope, I’d appreciate some guidance.",2.057604364326373,3.986992916666665,3.522220113851997,89.29744781783684,78.16666666666667,6.742061986084758,25.457305502846303,7.724431198458867,1.335574383301708,1423,54,301,22,34,468,199,372,0.06,0.862,0.078,0.89,2,4,1,0,0,0,48.0,1,1,2,11,21,10,0,0,17,1,20,1,0,3,1,53,54,28,0,4,13,3,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,1,14,21,1,0,6,2,2,12,6,4,0,2,7,7,31,6,61,46,9,64,0,3,2,0,16,24,0,9,27,192,45,12,0.0,0.0,0.08652797439559852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918341529077325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859539708160716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061999298236995626,0.0,0.07296688100970954,0.07893404567719367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363616935706881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090403768016212,0.0,0.0,0.07638033424900006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622071817581366,0.0,0.11436810267011364,0.0,0.07637032183157096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073898456313882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853425323079419,0.09161859024253864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104169202435266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850530777209826,0.0,0.27795478209724217,0.0,0.20157012744706515,0.0,0.07091655270570144,0.0,0.1953573962468097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788410537690064,0.08806814182057393,0.08732092340283612,0.10231190948224476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799011867762996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974601254546182,0.0,0.0,0.09388747403963522,0.0,0.09066987249536357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846911246833986,0.07445947415303181,0.0,0.0,0.150766114135665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658633545912992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424091957670692,0.06518178258430256,0.13149360801813842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060084284912227476,0.0674366306133463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147179300269474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913665119978224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572268491971393,0.0,0.14102600377208405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966746496447673,0.0,0.0,0.07512880058532259,0.06826158700449464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416220629900844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126863608823493,0.0,0.08163433331724107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039313599745801,0.10340700005974512,0.0,0.08404767038806657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661654975982504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316105986546413,0.0,0.0,0.07112477627614322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547357507256582,0.0,0.58096759089271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1cloud1989,2019/02/07,"My brother is turning 27 on Sunday. He has been diagnosed with Mental Health issues since last year. What should I do to make this Sunday special for him? **TLDR**: My brother is suffering from depression (improving) and I would like to do something that can make his day better on his birthday. Thanks!

Hi All. I am the eldest brother in the family (29) so often I am like his best friend. We live together. My brother started seeing a physiologist last year in Feb2018 and is also seeing a psychiatrist since Sept2018 for depression which falls under Mental Health. He has some personality issues too (not judging). The therapists have diagnosed him with severe depression that they claim he has had since 10yrs old. He is sensitive by nature but doesn't show it. He is actually very mature and sensible but sometimes loses it. Anyways, it has been a tough year for him and for me and my parents but we are being as supportive as we can. My dad, myself and my younger brother can relate to Mental Health issues but my Mom seems to not totally get it yet which is fine because she is very sincere in trying to understand. Unfortunately, due to the Stigma around mental health (even though its 2019! in all culture tbh), we have been hush-hush about it. I was thinking of inviting some of his friends over to cut a cake but that is a bit lame. 

A few recommendations on how I can make that day special would be appreciated (every day is special because we get to breathe imo)

He is not an early riser so we usually see him around 2-3pm during the day. 

Thanks in advance Reddit!

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mentalhealth,guacamoleys,2019/02/07,"I was prescribed trintellix for depersonalization and severe anxiety I went to my doctor today and got a prescription for Ativan and trintellix, i have been on ativan for about a month and the difference in my anxiety is night and day. i can finally do things that i haven't before and i feel more comfortable doing things.

​

After looking up reviews on trintellix a lot of people say it makes them suicidal and they feel no happiness. I have severe anxiety to the point where i feel like im going to black out every day because my anxiety is too bad.

​

I am not depressed but i am worried that if i start this drug it might bring back the depression and suicidal thoughts i had years ago.

​

If anyone has experience please let me know.",5.4898271446862985,7.455590274647889,6.230460947503206,73.38579385403331,68.78873239436619,9.952368758002562,31.923175416133162,10.230975488527342,3.6941746478873254,617,27,103,17,11,202,91,142,0.2,0.726,0.075,-0.9481,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,0,6,0,16,2,0,1,0,21,28,11,2,2,4,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,9,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,6,6,18,3,14,20,2,21,0,2,2,0,3,7,0,4,12,79,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215422036780396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379216771888942,0.37896814350388813,0.0,0.0,0.3181162993974949,0.0,0.0,0.07269121208153355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799387821234177,0.08680221327536865,0.06337301872623953,0.0,0.08846225782421273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409113075404214,0.0,0.179081099910937,0.0,0.0,0.1086160177934405,0.0,0.1064074108414002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205605333382571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759073904296115,0.0,0.0,0.10169277644582787,0.0,0.0,0.15769581844176947,0.07426900685786178,0.0,0.1138830403380526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059082833597353265,0.0,0.08314626648056715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066729663268944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229458229918234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713366804438382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063060892362362,0.0,0.05078957884948592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730017243820637,0.0,0.0,0.08838302923568211,0.0,0.0,0.06939407183695581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028507503689626,0.0,0.0,0.08297983780253844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975593677524052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207273742212518,0.0,0.0,0.11411680314128705,0.09827575267182473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267312244423619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348902980134482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358338551486476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22743061711510604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813273865713122,0.0,0.0,0.08253258542242838,0.0,0.0,0.098541873970634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637191233280937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557637244174957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37896814350388813,0.06694679736117276
mentalhealth,cgthuggin1999,2019/02/07,"Need advice on honesty I’ve dealt with anxiety disorders and depression since I was about 5. I was diagnosed with GAD, OCD, and MDD at 16. I am now 19 and in treatment. I’ve tried multiple combinations of about 15 different psychiatric drugs, 4 different therapists that do CBT, ERP therapy, and TMS. 

After my most round of TMS, I was finally in remission for about one and a half or two months. I then crashed. Now, I’m back to TMS. My insurance approved 15 more treatments and I just got done with my 8th. 

One of the nurse practitioners involved in my treatment told me that if we don’t see improvement by tomorrow, she’s going to try to have me hospitalized. I definitely don’t want that because I was hospitalized once before (voluntarily) and it didn’t help despite being a really nice facility. I’m scared that I’d be sent to a not-so-nice facility. 

Should I lie and say that I had a slight improvement in mood so that I can control whether or not I get hospitalized? Ultimately, I feel that I should be in control of whether or not I go to the hospital and when I get out.

TLDR; I am dealing with a depressive episode. My healthcare provider said that if I don’t see an improvement soon, I’ll be hospitalized. Should I lie and say that I had a slight improvement so I can decide if I want to be hospitalized or not?",5.147635746606337,5.897121134615389,6.622398190045253,74.82377828054301,68.42307692307692,11.194570135746607,34.14027149321267,11.088447113337141,3.9664841628959273,1045,49,208,33,17,358,135,260,0.055,0.836,0.109,0.8981,2,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,3,11,5,0,1,9,0,25,2,0,2,0,40,41,23,0,9,13,0,2,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,10,16,0,2,2,0,0,3,7,3,0,4,12,7,31,1,28,21,2,21,0,2,3,0,10,8,0,8,10,140,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359941007671054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241757749893803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299671537170912,0.0,0.0895803359650774,0.0,0.12504499446924958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3296374466781212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150065468976362,0.25313840838664503,0.14915278828645787,0.0,0.3070663055252751,0.16841927346375374,0.0,0.0,0.15038251496170774,0.0,0.0,0.17041721063065465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743031481442986,0.0,0.0,0.1609783030579103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355229941007847,0.0,0.16703197006546405,0.0,0.11753062478759765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849856488775724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729537109143967,0.0,0.0,0.10896275493030826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649866598591702,0.19915642473361184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414096266346958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978463029420052,0.2337236329494987,0.14712419500395407,0.0,0.23420281054763625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155988826452173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680519701144212,0.17062214257991762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041855842114745,0.0,0.1995409906458596,0.0,0.1435503676055003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733517309546401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SadBirchwood,2019/02/07,"Trouble imagining how therapy might work / the problem is causality (serious Q) Hi. 
I’m dealing with anxiety/ocd aaand I started figuring out possible therapies. And I have kinda silly question but really mean it. 

I cannot get one thing out of my head though - apart from those therapies that are very very practical (like CBT) I just can’t phantom how those others are supposed to work. 

I mean - suppose I go to therapists. Suppose we talk about why my triggers are as such and how my past and my childhood influenced my current self and how my life experiences relate to my irrational fears of things I shouldn’t worry about at all.

Well. How do I know those causal links are true? I can make up some assumptions about my current problems but how do I evaluate them? And against what? I can sense a link between my former ear trauma and my current sudden fear of ear damage, my therapist (I had 1st introductory session) implied that as well, but how can I figure out if it’s really there? 

Maybe I’m missing something here but if somebody could just chip in with insight how they come to realize insights from therapy are actually true, that would be fantastic.

Thanks! ",4.848607270865337,7.025601267281113,5.533786482334873,76.86036226318487,70.88940092165899,9.246185355862774,33.253712237583215,9.725611199111238,3.6191220686123913,933,46,160,24,18,302,137,217,0.149,0.76,0.091,-0.9169,3,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,2,2,19,16,0,2,2,0,20,4,3,11,3,55,32,23,0,7,8,0,0,1,0,3,1,2,0,1,12,13,0,0,12,0,0,2,3,9,2,1,1,2,27,7,24,26,2,17,0,2,0,0,8,7,0,6,9,116,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.11517971215487426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016719156381918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423690751488313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168317491443985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545544507131553,0.0,0.2656318790367302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061665513412773,0.0,0.06707885345908221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113226184170375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486589611539477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336768739471054,0.05766322482281532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878557090546699,0.0,0.11857644151888615,0.2571373337694266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521058887492575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997980641014342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126724603542212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306046474144978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22587647686284265,0.0,0.0,0.13221999046294602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122536928768426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313045217277273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086483298992536,0.0,0.0,0.08354184851073017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486759683965212,0.0,0.10866565499900548,0.5399078259040949,0.2740825650205116,0.15682703706171747,0.0,0.11596333022983114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477330597671605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21224529125051306,0.0,0.10650321560976254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185368305001136,0.1198646304614418,0.0,0.08384473114273691,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,frenchbulldog3130,2019/02/07,Psychedelics Curing Anxiety/Depression/Mental Health Issues [https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychedelics/comments/ao4wnf/psychedelics\_curing\_anxietydepressionmental/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychedelics/comments/ao4wnf/psychedelics_curing_anxietydepressionmental/),131.52374999999998,166.45107387500005,56.855,-298.30999999999995,-189.75,18.2,58.0,13.023866798666859,13.386349999999998,253,4,2,3,1,47,8,8,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7135259227575604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7006288300897786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Riksunraksu,2019/02/07,"Repetitive depression, anxiety, and learning difficulties turned out to be ADD ADHD and ADD are surprisingly common and the symptoms include a wide range of issues from emotions, depression, and difficulties to focus/process information. 

Bipolar, depression, and ADHD/ADD share an immense amount of similarities. 

I would recommend, if you have repetitive or continuing depressive symptoms, to see a neuropsychiatrist and see if it might have something to do with your brain’s chemistry or neurological issues. 

After starting ADD meds I have a had any issues except a bad day here and there ",12.115789473684213,12.660157421052634,11.321052631578945,47.737368421052636,53.73684210526316,14.336842105263155,47.42105263157895,13.348371206891418,7.181694736842103,485,27,60,16,5,157,65,95,0.255,0.6809999999999999,0.064,-0.9607,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,0,6,0,9,5,1,0,0,21,13,11,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,1,12,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,4,2,11,9,1,9,0,4,2,0,4,2,0,5,7,44,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618428031768719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102373253974735,0.0,0.11516369110516694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256957068320291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805389042673965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708669182527696,0.0,0.5186440433760207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933871292117628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713780514522963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672174597600227,0.0,0.0,0.15970054145750318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239923868935218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589405623219325,0.0,0.0,0.1065539149795986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31294012738675964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16374571768336213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694022831590808,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coolcasey11,2019/02/07,"What's wrong with my mom? Hey guys. I don't know much about mental health but my mom has been acting bonkers.

I am a single child and am 23 and have been living on my own for about 2 years. My mom and I have a great relation ship but just some times out of the blue she acts crazy. She has also been single for 23 years.  She will freak out and say that she is alone and that no one loves her and that she is moving away and that she has no friends. But in all actuality my mom is the most popular person in our town and everyone loves her. I constantly do things for her and call her multiple times a week to say hello and see how she is doing.  I also visit her about 2 times a month. I dont know why she feels this way out of the blue some times. Everyone does so much for her and really loves her. Could you all please help me. She keeps saying she has no one and it really hurts my feelings because I am always there for her and she is acting like she doesnt even have me as a support system. Do you think im doing anything wrong? ",2.1837104072398184,3.2875968733031646,3.469140271493213,93.34497737556565,75.7420814479638,6.8289592760181,18.88235294117647,7.285733465282438,0.023441628959275814,803,13,191,9,17,262,111,221,0.113,0.7190000000000001,0.168,0.959,0,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,2,0,0,10,12,0,0,8,0,27,4,0,1,2,34,38,21,0,1,4,4,2,1,1,1,1,3,0,3,8,17,0,1,5,0,0,5,6,4,0,2,3,8,38,8,20,33,10,24,0,1,3,3,42,8,0,3,10,139,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.10337720230360156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971663060224668,0.0,0.16943223725422962,0.08814634114158193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717541433614406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995293461213353,0.0,0.0,0.06457694502877577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817139931151988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447801631007565,0.0,0.08458041499124891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270436388095714,0.0,0.12415493929497755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996901670073194,0.0,0.0,0.2024507148916573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071277588208632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184505773877136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679362518061764,0.0,0.10489222756853683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260386804924002,0.0,0.0,0.07100594501732742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134055247005812,0.0,0.11442789398260275,0.0,0.0,0.09415982584133327,0.0,0.0,0.11643812508072482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051754451773336665,0.0,0.09354247669745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868312084862745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675748493534876,0.0,0.0,0.4962787999441277,0.08455624383966008,0.11259205680485973,0.15574871298661952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356848915105386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249828754643476,0.0,0.11628473238979956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572924694644856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25273110500706697,0.0,0.0,0.08441641717115002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202136937834633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037845482372783,0.0678788203742066,0.0,0.0,0.24708601904654276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408620999746362,0.08497460430867633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955897897302445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23164641391877336,0.0,0.13643723275107358
mentalhealth,MyLifesParody,2019/02/07,"Disclosure of diagnosis’? So I was diagnosed with BPD, over 10 years ago but have just come to terms with it in these last few months as I have been in counseling for 16 months at this point (the longest I’ve been in counseling). 

I haven’t disclosed the diagnosis to many people, friends or family (just my children). 

I guess I’m what you’d call “high functioning”, and it shows it’s face when I’m in an unhealthy relationship, for the most part. 

So yesterday durning my session, I’m opening up a little bit more. My irritability/anxiety has been higher than normal because of current life circumstances. She informs me it’s from “MY” PTSD, that I’m experiencing what I am and feeling the way I am. Well, that’s a new diagnosis!! And also one of the things I hate about going in for mental help is the charade or labeling that can come with it. So now I’m also diagnosed with PTSD. Apparently it’s exasperated, from my current environment. 

Oddly enough I felt as if having a PTSD diagnosis was worthy of telling people, (albeit, I haven’t, just found out yesterday) unlike the BPD diagnosis. Perhaps, I feel it solidifies that I did indeed actually experience trauma and that  it has left lingering results. Clearly, I am still in denial about it, because placing any blame holds the adults accountable and they are not accountable for their actions at ALL. 

Anyone else have multiple diagnosis and you don’t disclose all of them to friends/family? 

",6.2604145936981785,7.486574029850748,7.3002487562189105,69.24218076285244,66.16417910447761,10.731674958540633,34.66500829187396,10.746095033038511,4.073937147595356,1152,53,198,32,18,388,153,268,0.079,0.848,0.073,-0.5565,3,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,2,3,0,14,4,1,0,12,0,22,4,1,1,3,35,36,18,0,2,8,0,3,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,19,14,0,1,5,1,2,4,4,2,1,1,8,4,24,2,34,27,9,36,0,0,0,0,14,17,0,5,14,141,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.1160955562626217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545790810237056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902772506367682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090228446688302,0.0,0.09101015486277143,0.0,0.0,0.08318515563311657,0.1218967220724551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504351419452713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298821871763075,0.0,0.2996719325679188,0.0,0.12147957668554125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496070673332914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24149992665146916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938245521775972,0.0,0.0,0.1229256927889645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637348165169648,0.22430478766761425,0.0,0.1203075385513968,0.0,0.11422788708743925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044221480684984,0.09191434178711584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761222666817956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310566076792644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745621899115988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974170804632585,0.12569616923176186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697475635071637,0.0,0.0,0.12925902398434932,0.0,0.08403058022408584,0.0,0.11923713825419342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061482687516628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198917103828024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991816271470555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489998585846632,0.0,0.0,0.1165633301017692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061576072075169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883069472764969,0.0,0.16495479185680806,0.0,0.12429618499499495,0.0,0.11246316503565644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172014956883572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277270540225938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500795723429213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039832305877574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903701860366381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443121990283404,0.0,0.0,0.10696647304829936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661145822388364
mentalhealth,Octothorpe110,2019/02/07,"Advice on how to support a friend with severe emotional stability issues and anger? So recently my boyfriend broke up with me.  He said that he simply isn’t emotionally mature enough to be in a romantic relationship and has some pretty bad anger issues, depression, and anxiety, and is just in a really bad place right now, but that he still cares about me deeply and would like to be friends.  He said he’s ultimately afraid of hurting me as, while he was good at repressing his anger around me, he’s worried he won’t be able to do it for long.  Additionally, I’m going to a different college and I don’t think he could stand the idea of me breaking up with him after a long time being together. 

Since the relationship was still very new, and since I’ve had my own share of problems with anxiety, depression, etc., I actually feel good about the idea of being friends and trying to support him in any way I can without causing myself any emotional turmoil.  I know it isn’t my responsibility to fix him or his problems, and I don’t want to do that.  He has his own therapist and I have mine.  I would however like to know how I could be a better friend to him in times where he may be angry or upset.  So far I’ve just been trying to assure him that I’m not going to abandon him and I do what I can to not push him beyond his limit in terms of talking (as socializing makes him uncomfortable and after awhile he gets to the end of his rope). If anyone has any experience with supporting friends or family with anger management issues, I would really appreciate any advice on how I could avoid exacerbating his problem and continue having a healthy, platonic relationship.

TL;DR: my friend has anger management issues and while I know I can’t fix him, I still want to be as supportive and easy to be around as possible, so any advice would be great.",9.777495344506516,7.020906935754192,9.967720670391065,66.10809869646187,60.64804469273743,13.680744878957169,38.67113594040968,12.10132525352546,4.496232923649907,1465,53,278,37,15,493,162,358,0.174,0.61,0.217,0.9595,2,1,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,2,19,39,5,5,11,0,40,0,0,5,1,65,60,32,0,13,10,0,1,2,6,6,0,2,0,0,7,24,0,4,7,0,0,3,9,20,0,0,6,3,41,19,51,35,6,40,0,5,0,0,41,17,0,6,19,192,48,3,0.07110031924919047,0.0,0.0693836552428546,0.0,0.0,0.2084352272584125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24175327611642736,0.0,0.10878309923099792,0.0,0.0,0.04971499638379893,0.0,0.0,0.1265887165496557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873159342150992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288245446975159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249151406242707,0.07303961335324059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030345830453758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247720157001875,0.0,0.0,0.07428470068385762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399348679419928,0.06297377916196363,0.07346563609777534,0.07929565048344428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954975530731511,0.06702705322176987,0.0,0.03595045773795085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295915816797414,0.0,0.037146982250245215,0.0,0.08081589987363008,0.1192711489088451,0.0,0.0783883529784094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761143622880383,0.1605272121434651,0.0,0.2968410434131407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11722462807610627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947204913861423,0.0,0.0,0.125843090277935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047460015201861785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866913138500058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428470068385762,0.0,0.0,0.08015492693418808,0.0,0.07233458570259936,0.0,0.20410020964085476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109737027751397,0.0,0.07020298765214923,0.22900540296585986,0.0,0.060719284153264434,0.13526537083051818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032312285032456,0.0,0.1176298376267128,0.0,0.0,0.07247782160021432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034242038929018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227351988283136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714774338027369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255295070493752,0.0,0.045558213669819186,0.0,0.0,0.08291833585564859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654489924533922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05866520960839021,0.08387362087784718,0.05643612397255824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853817053541042,0.0,0.0,0.07220582548918007,0.0,0.20203050730723,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lolik_007,2019/02/07,"It's a long one but I kinda need a hug in the form of words rn so if you are interested enjoy : I am devastated. If I don't get my grades up I will drop out of school. 

I am shocked. I worked my entire year to not miss as often as I used to which worked I only have 78 ( I was really sick with fever) of missed hours while last year I missed 256 hours. But despite constantly being in class my grades have dropped.  I am just tired. I tried and tired and it just wasn't enough. 

I should not loose my motivation right now. I know that but it's hard not to. How can I keep my head up if my reward is dropping out. Technically it is just one grade and it's Math. But Math is such a problem I don't even want to try if I am honest. 

I just hope that I can up my grades in subjects I know I have a chance of improving. 

The worst part about this is that I hate this school. I don't want to a job in a economical field but I still am in that school because I wanted a graduation that time could go to university to. 

I feel like a failure.  I used to be school best two times in a row and now I am one of the worst. 

I constantly have been battling depression and I am on the 11 February officially 8 months sober of self harming and suicide attempt/ thoughts. I have survived 2018 just to get dragged into nothingness in 2019.  

I am so ashamed I don't want to look into my mother's eyes. She fled her country so that I can have a safe and promising future and I as a first daughter am fucking everything up. Honestly this is even the worst part. Not me being sad about my own grades but maybe giving my mother the idea that I am ungrateful for her sacrifices.

I am crying in the bus right now and before that I was crying in the classroom. They say ""if you cry you care""  but I am so sick of caring. 

I feel suicidal again but I am not going to. I am tired. I am sick. I am sad. I am defeated. But I will not end it. I will survive it. I have to survive it. I want to survive it.

1 year of sobriety just sounds so good. 
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mentalhealth,Jzurb,2019/02/07,"Presently going through the worst week of my life and I'm afraid I'm going to have a breakdown So I'm someone who has struggled with mental health for the better part of my life, but the last few years I've been doing okay. I got a girlfriend 3 years ago that I fell in love with and she and I lived together for awhile. I tried to make something out of my struggles and ended up getting a good paying job as a mental health and addictions counsellor to help people go through their own mental health problems.

My girlfriend and I broke up, mutually, back in August and this has been extremely difficult to deal with, but I was managing. This past weekend I moved out of our apartment, which I had been holding onto just in case, and this nearly broke me. Saying goodbye to our home, the memories, it was awful.

I moved into my new apartment, which I signed a 12 month lease for. The rent is a little more than I'd like to spend, but I could afford it and I was to get a raise in April. Until Tuesday morning, when out of the blue, I was fired.

I am freaking out and don't know what to do. My thoughts have begun to turn dark, and I keep trying to comfort myself by telling myself that at least there is always one guaranteed way out of this.

I'm so fucked.",3.6024797170792584,4.915617411067196,4.2948574994799245,87.98745787393386,72.51778656126481,6.749240690659455,25.96401081755773,7.0608816371341465,1.0823090909090909,987,32,201,9,19,315,146,253,0.157,0.754,0.09,-0.9651,3,0,1,1,0,0,25.0,2,0,1,1,6,16,1,3,13,2,19,8,0,1,0,32,36,19,0,2,4,0,1,1,2,0,6,1,2,0,12,20,0,2,2,1,3,6,1,10,0,1,10,3,28,6,43,25,6,43,0,2,1,2,12,18,1,0,19,142,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500684277136124,0.0,0.0,0.10977909749234746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304706242271998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952274059844593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095288203261224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887833335411396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767640460693935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968788990902874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449059745315684,0.12940541773864506,0.0,0.2111480122251904,0.1038733963955804,0.09904833503733758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39491705508021213,0.0,0.0,0.08300916355486798,0.0,0.1242243439293109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289478862466348,0.1100770982155616,0.0,0.0,0.06806071918688941,0.1009483444464667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749475487377145,0.06050329660279944,0.12412293834246248,0.10935538912426566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177288836902972,0.0,0.08266597609068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37441299565306185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885007618388607,0.2632504209615931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960806900494912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391903096534323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341095954869941,0.11822188767148754,0.0858569475866142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185007560470384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848470024030938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493153329392016,0.09534017492164387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589345965172422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824399434494444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983172849297924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681621528932683,0.13470531513129713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830058534796116,0.09933915850775328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595013004283474
mentalhealth,bookDJnr11,2019/02/07,"I'm close to doing it I don't know what to say really, I'm completely worthless and deserve to die, but because I say that my mother get sad  and that makes me feel even worse, i began to cut myself with made me feel a bit better but made mum feel worse so in the long term it made me feel worse but I don't know what to do.",6.931324200913246,3.2003023150684946,7.639726027397263,83.6298173515982,66.94520547945207,10.829223744292236,29.81278538812785,7.793537801064563,1.612300456621004,251,4,63,2,3,85,43,73,0.28600000000000003,0.6679999999999999,0.046,-0.9642,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,4,0,17,18,6,1,0,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,6,9,1,7,14,2,5,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,35,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758726331749004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609192948000827,0.19268243946775784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18504743471659724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831697729751176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165706278067675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569565699255957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922092526873228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19398965401154514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618896351015274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5010000981322397,0.11780909966821775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306464113938144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28070542235364104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5395781601970587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grakkoi,2019/02/07,"Feel Like I'm Going Crazy Hello. As the title says, I feel like I'm going crazy and that something in my mind just isn't right. I've had Generalised Anxiety Disorder throughout my entire life, and I've always had trouble sleeping. However, ever since June of 2018, it has gotten worse than ever. I have incredibly paranoid, and this paranoia has lead me to believe that people from a bigger organisation are after me, I feel like I'm always being watched/followed/talked about, I'm always hearing my name in other people's conversations/ on loud speakers, I'm becoming increasingly more anti-social, I've stopped caring about grades/ school performance and my inability to sleep has gotten even worse. 

For example, a few months back a stranger had parked in front of my home. He was still in his car, and it was the same model as my grandfather's, so I went out to invite (who I thought was) him inside because it was pouring rain that day. When I discovered that it wasn't my grandfather, I said sorry, went back inside the house and he then proceeded to drive away. my mind instantly jumped to the conclusion that he was a man working for a secret organisation, and they'd set up an illusion to look like my grandfather to draw me out, so that they'd know my face, and now they're after me. Usually I would ignore these kind of thoughts, but the fact that i believed is what has me concerned.

One, more example, includes the fact that i cannot get to sleep because of all the scary thoughts that run through my head. When I face my cabinets, my mind tells me that there;s a psychopath hiding in them, and they'll kill me if I sleep. Sometimes I think I hear/see something from them, but I know deep down there's nothing. For some reason, I'm always draw to wall behind me whenever I sleep, so when I do face the wall, my mind tells me that's because aliens want to abduct me. So, they've implanted a chip into my brain to make me want to face the wall, so I'm easier to abduct. Of course, I get frustrated so I sit up. Only problem, is that I have two big mirrors in my room, and I'm not allowed to look at my reflection otherwise it'll blink/smile back. As a result, I'm terrified just sitting on my own bed.

I don't know what on Earth is wrong with me, and I don't know how to deal with these thoughts. I am seeing a psychologist, but she doesn't know about this (i plan to tell her next time) and I'm desperate on what I should do. What can I do?",5.307523809523809,5.571142391836737,5.927346938775512,81.6578911564626,67.93877551020408,9.227210884353743,30.210884353741488,9.120678840339163,2.329668027210883,1932,68,394,33,30,629,231,490,0.121,0.841,0.037000000000000005,-0.9899,3,0,2,0,0,1,67.0,0,0,5,5,24,12,2,0,19,0,36,12,11,6,5,65,76,30,1,6,7,0,3,4,0,4,1,5,3,1,27,17,0,2,17,0,0,11,7,6,0,2,18,11,65,6,57,51,8,61,0,0,3,0,25,26,0,2,25,248,92,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26089846880786405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059966165676083025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364756627503019,0.18082527409640495,0.0,0.1433527403982288,0.08657275247962642,0.0,0.17663157012453698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750629073392066,0.0,0.0,0.07992120417799073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050553404385248704,0.08081399333878397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983878037816992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051774155015384286,0.14181182760735478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890511228773742,0.1679999765471341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190838862770597,0.0,0.08909876029167038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044811296607306,0.0,0.1766966503140316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786289787351398,0.0,0.0,0.09044856411410013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672407185386344,0.08162844070106519,0.21539839424265805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055367356567768734,0.1531845456859726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165138947976396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232421496910786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165958145923896,0.0,0.06256809488688153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833659159220623,0.0,0.0,0.07521484854212704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053117347957195325,0.05961716909143072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868794138922444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500617940572656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059532845087339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694243276772317,0.07456439184762922,0.062336826711988425,0.0,0.079332259146315,0.06246462898222705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484288810889302,0.0,0.3922201780035359,0.0,0.0,0.12069293907133505,0.07752716782447319,0.0877483047709185,0.0,0.0,0.06260029897376093,0.06553539737337262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300484306443183,0.2055421939132581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022749688404345,0.0,0.2489234384023915,0.045708337973956674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657312422317028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633267429941521,0.0,0.09246986859114552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453318568690908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05706697909145793,0.0,0.1597669660849537,0.05568417777417151,0.08570434392615227,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Maybe_a_CPA,2019/02/07,"Does anyone else get horrible visions? I apologize if this is not the correct place to post this, but I want to know if I am alone in this strange thing:

Whenever I’m trying to fall asleep, or just any time I am not thinking about anything in particular, I see horrifying visions of myself committing suicide in gruesome ways. When I close my eyes, I see myself jumping out windows, pulling a gun (I don’t own one) on myself, setting myself on fire, tearing out my internal organs, etc. It’s been going on for a while and makes falling asleep difficult. 

Additionally, if I’m walking down the street, I see myself jumping in front of every car, off of every building, impaling myself on any sharp object, etc. unless I am already actively thinking about something else. If I am thinking about icecream, I see icecream. This is what makes falling asleep so difficult, since I can’t let my mind shut down. 

I don’t think I am suicidal currently. I do have a history of depression, and have been suicidal in the past, but currently don’t think I am. Am I? Does anyone else suffer from this? Does anyone have any ideas on what this could be?",6.445974955277282,6.886786720930235,6.995813953488376,74.3628801431127,65.51162790697674,9.964221824686943,36.07334525939177,9.851270322608157,3.64083542039356,895,42,158,18,13,294,113,215,0.245,0.7090000000000001,0.046,-0.9949,2,1,1,1,0,1,33.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,0,22,4,4,2,2,31,39,13,3,6,11,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,6,0,0,7,0,0,10,6,4,0,1,2,7,27,0,28,34,3,38,0,2,5,0,1,19,0,5,6,112,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142448084511944,0.12172654228512643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22503767366416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313877046912131,0.2260451600613813,0.09077328074894732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807118170105284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500727684361587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895912562034027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764420890289214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460429768610703,0.0,0.0,0.18587684791594894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05763086650108201,0.0,0.06269002291230857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452320178404047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606218547873964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279640403428635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726158813182005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137864772622083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474689321325942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530053447471298,0.0,0.0,0.11524736085812125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105643635876369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516016617322795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124710889219392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491973503298235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619739371778838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328308430812475,0.3534014300738774,0.0,0.0,0.06432091188453433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489122753345367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506193982610348,0.08755658009015113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,goatsWlazers,2019/02/07,"Suspended in a Limbo/ After College 
Recently, I’ve been having a hard time during my transition time after college. Last year I moved back home, then had a horrible breakup with my ex and I realized our relationship had been so toxic that I became super depressed. After college everyone moved away~ I am moving out of state, because honestly fuck Texas and it memories, and my friend was suppose to move with me. She recently told me, she’s gonna stay and work in the city.

I don’t have a problem with her staying, I know she is making a choice for herself, and her values are different then mine. What sucks is that after the phone call, something inside told me that we will probably never see each other again. Like not even hanging out one more time.

I proclaim these truths from my bed at 5am with tears in my eyes, because my brain analyzes everything. And I have a strong gut feeling that is majority of the time right. Before we went on the trip to determine if the new city is a match, and even then I could feel she wasn’t it to, but she created all this pressure, not a month before,  “determine” to move. 

I’m sad, because again I’m in the situation with no friends around (this time cuz of circumstances). I realize that I am trying to make something work that will not last. And it always me. My friend has yet to contact me to hang out (tho we live 30 min apart), and she never contacted me to hang out before either ~it was usually her ex (also a friend). And now she is with a guy she has been shortly dating. I asked her if he is a reason she is staying, and she became defensive. I reassured her I don’t think she would stay for a boy, it was something to wonder about. Super nice dude, I would love to be friends with him, but I wonder about her feelings in the relationship. She started dating him because she was lonely. 

All of this is circumstantial because I don’t know how she feels about this. Despite not knowing her thoughts, in my gut I feel like this is the end. She will not put effort towards our friendship, and I can’t keep giving myself trying to make these friendships work. I honestly feel, I’m two years time, if we were talk again, it will be filled with silence.

What tops the cake, is that I am ignored by her, and she is taking photos with my ex. 

I know that in 2 months time when I move I will feel much better, but I’m looking for some support, or stories, that some of you might have experienced after college, and losing close friends. And how did you ultimately get over these feelings and wish them the best? 
 Cheers!",5.0348255462996505,5.797045143426299,5.551093806591816,82.3584419896173,68.68127490039839,8.475286731860438,29.55475069419293,8.575989854853784,2.1185861885790174,2010,72,394,30,33,647,233,502,0.063,0.7559999999999999,0.18,0.9968,1,2,3,0,0,0,66.0,6,2,1,11,18,31,3,1,22,0,48,6,4,7,5,90,88,33,0,8,13,3,9,2,6,9,0,0,2,2,26,36,0,3,19,0,0,13,13,10,0,2,16,13,77,21,55,60,10,79,0,4,3,2,61,22,2,9,41,288,103,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053634581645725314,0.055806288193389376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970510244741524,0.06269990790957478,0.0,0.06301297707213213,0.0515714658655415,0.0,0.20442139504894766,0.0,0.1712108261566946,0.0,0.0703841564030964,0.05931655661883167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487052418123656,0.06848434326462552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354866638124645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057765921533316826,0.0,0.0,0.07007221157606973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594027025290378,0.0,0.0,0.08859610189235917,0.0,0.0,0.06408673799661456,0.060276760513671125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712944181161828,0.04791368407545276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31090131389831377,0.062003662469231925,0.035040475033068626,0.06433812829228402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640826839918562,0.0,0.0,0.060080119989315124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727508164682389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961348263679608,0.0,0.0,0.1474361721836123,0.10933940804086356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553247278442542,0.0,0.0592226330133936,0.0,0.05632057110905056,0.07503239311662142,0.0,0.0,0.06053185674465505,0.0,0.13430604940235094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711489821544058,0.0,0.0,0.1070667267898782,0.4276986217893767,0.04930299686926285,0.0,0.10345458177020292,0.06477508637522603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04544728900422639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231108739638037,0.06417540866878209,0.0,0.0674222744576764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689574936506449,0.13244392341214858,0.14401274108002068,0.0,0.05727605397566898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344483779922027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538770064711846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489761143095884,0.0,0.0,0.0474713643809587,0.28594399676558474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610843460077643,0.0,0.0,0.050427096048955615,0.053907045843528095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042974727742196815,0.0,0.053244824337407334,0.27375689637884265,0.0,0.0,0.12817347599322912,0.0,0.09107009309091596,0.0,0.06551608919427494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738663760576883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217308614478485,0.0,0.0,0.07712535927209115,0.0,0.1454656550565477,0.1464797994126687,0.0,0.0,0.09528694551184502,0.0,0.0,0.08637971165456716
mentalhealth,adahadit,2019/02/07,"Anyone else here feel like the world is not meant for them? I describe myself as someone who is introvert (mostly), hate going out, hesitant to speak, or to do anything unless i HAVE to. I lack ambition, and/or the courage and discipline to work on it. My body doesn't help me either with constant anxiety, migraine and other health problems. In everyday scenario, i have been feeling people who go out and ask for what they want, get what they want. I might be what is the 'unfit' of the 'Survival of fittest' theory. So, often i conclude with thinking what is even the point of trying to do anything, the point of trying so fucking hard to live? ",6.909220779220778,7.076002991735541,6.75473435655254,77.42223140495871,64.53719008264463,9.228335301062572,34.64108618654073,8.841846274778883,2.9803780401416766,506,21,89,7,7,160,83,121,0.132,0.792,0.076,-0.8014,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,3,5,5,2,0,6,0,12,4,1,1,0,24,24,8,0,4,4,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,8,7,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,4,12,2,20,20,3,11,0,0,0,1,8,7,1,4,3,71,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314701312271794,0.0,0.0,0.130839317689152,0.1917275242574032,0.30796919309384,0.0,0.17493282700076682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20784918993918544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20221126895969324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631554130058933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359162143930083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18922794742791255,0.13367924271002996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729903012901833,0.0977629722490936,0.0,0.2126902940165232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762361519627078,0.18474319647762869,0.0,0.1989008176585833,0.0,0.0,0.1254232271700559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141784339670253,0.0,0.16523122538557722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19850575545417454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972610468681195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537795575769723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904947609413013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854697209334584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989954792872602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540856816343764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073756665005656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362262788153707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liaquore,2019/02/07,"Mother doesn't believe I have SCT and will not help I live with my mum only and I told her that I am very confident I have SCT (sluggish cognitive tempo) but she doesn't believe me because she doesn't see the symptoms, even after saying how sometimes you can't see what's wrong with a person mentally. I follow the symptoms exactly except for 1 or 2, and I do have genuine learning difficulties. Not by video games like my mum believes, but mind fogginess, terrible memory recall, and I always tend to only be good at what I like the most which is computers and programming. She refuses to give me my IQ test results, which is justifyable at first so I don't get a huge ego or whatever, but I think I can handle it and it would really help me understand myself way better. She refuses with the excuses ""don't know where they are, don't have time to look for them"" and ""they'll affect you negatively"" even though heaps of other people know their own IQs. Besides, mine wouldn't even count that much because of the mental deficit in processing speed I was told about.

​

She constantly says I'm a B student (I usually get C's and occasionally D's except in stuff like ICT where I get B's and A's) and she stresses me out a lot and I don't know what to do about her. I can't figure out how she works. She lies a lot (or forgets/warps) and I feel like there's literally nothing I can do to help my mental health until I can move out and go to a doctor myself. Does anyone know what I can do about this?",5.386666666666668,5.3248549869281065,6.464836601307192,78.99176470588236,67.75816993464053,9.80653594771242,30.0718954248366,9.586721724236666,2.552530718954248,1190,40,240,23,18,400,160,306,0.096,0.816,0.08900000000000001,-0.2878,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,4,3,13,9,0,1,12,0,31,4,0,4,1,51,51,24,0,2,10,3,1,4,0,4,4,2,0,1,13,19,0,2,9,2,0,3,13,3,0,1,3,6,48,6,28,43,5,21,0,0,3,0,32,10,0,6,11,169,61,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726531929653199,0.11363321398046755,0.12743594462715085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333180983541754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786299814938815,0.0,0.0,0.3544783632160794,0.0,0.09275439059798153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113333809621052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734513558734553,0.0917777846417872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20780903112404012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053028508942922215,0.07492350906815616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920755979026877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438030593253694,0.10060671458583904,0.05960350630883748,0.08796509953569517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147839345433706,0.0,0.0,0.2108887238077096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305486542461977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049486660717061,0.0,0.0926075205286153,0.0,0.08806951295098903,0.0,0.0,0.17832382504007507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31707133465292875,0.0,0.1058949673970557,0.0,0.0,0.1114667002632325,0.0770960030375536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063144952686924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952600473559314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270788481321694,0.09157376803827703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718631720422143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668033733370929,0.0,0.0,0.1671453517617316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372514772159598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013522185513345,0.0,0.12005804675505713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21801285509673216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720037220731286,0.10304023889084096,0.0,0.06115409915645925,0.0,0.0,0.2004272219133267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917972206645388,0.0,0.0,0.11550621087025535,0.08653376863885924,0.0,0.08324576912475365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763510521845498,0.0,0.0,0.07450097465779311,0.1146655551025608,0.12743594462715085,0.0
mentalhealth,Zacharias97,2019/02/07,"How do i tell my parents that i need help? Want to keep this as im crying while typing this and its starting to become difficult to see. Been feeling quite shit recently had a bad breakup and distanced myself from my friends and im struggling to keep up my facade. Ive pretended that everything is fine but i cant take it anymore and i need help, but im too afraid to tell my parents my situation.",0.8207317073170728,3.2499291219512223,2.717756097560976,90.18273170731709,87.04878048780488,5.719024390243902,25.27317073170732,7.1686216300943375,1.2982351219512198,316,14,65,5,10,105,54,82,0.126,0.738,0.136,-0.0378,2,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,2,1,0,6,1,1,1,0,13,15,9,0,3,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,11,2,8,13,0,4,0,0,1,0,7,1,1,0,3,40,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884928542574026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373836165443428,0.0,0.1768992841268474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594330486764842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395380707808791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098864304013452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374981496417987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21472212983945307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5190452947916921,0.0,0.0,0.2847395150508771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23753356039726645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557079106919355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036446218941295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815222016794725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763771318008546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16441601679998585,0.0,0.18004196679671527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337177996286353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744834447269025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204306998962418,0.0,0.2799977738929181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447460712841993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pixelbee0,2019/02/07,"I need some help  I've known for a long time that I have depression and anxiety. I've been dealing with it for 12-13 years and I'm currently 21. Recently things have just been terrible and only getting worse. I had to quit my job back in December because of the extremely volatile work environment and extreme stress it put on me. Like my boss at the time preferred that I didn't take my antidepressants because I ""worked better"" without them.
 Right now I'm still unemployed after several job opportunities just didn't work out. I have financial support and a place to live though so I guess that's okay for now. Most of the time I don't leave the house. At all. I hate going out. I stopped wearing makeup for the most part and when I try to do my makeup I hate how I look. I hate how I look in general. I went from 125 lbs to about 150 lbs in about 2 months and I absolutely despise myself and how I look. I have absolutely no confidence anymore.
 My depressive episodes are getting more frequent and I'm lashing out at my boyfriend a lot. He's doing his absolute best to take care of me but everything encouraging he says to me just doesn't make sense. It's like he's speaking a foreign language when he tells me he still thinks I'm pretty. None of it actually registers in my brain.
 I've been slowly deleting my social media accounts because I want to distance and isolate myself. Part of me wants my few friends to dislike me and leave me alone. That part of me says I deserve to be alone and bitter. I'm not worth anyone's time or effort. I don't know what to do anymore to be honest. Medication made me feel sick and made my anxiety so bad it was physically painful, I can't open up completely in therapy, and meditation/positive thinking hasn't really done much for me.",3.0797621651175504,5.077794257062144,4.530215053763442,82.9223209404046,75.35593220338983,8.070566794240934,28.933479132494988,8.841846274778883,2.413948897393841,1413,62,280,31,31,470,186,354,0.155,0.7290000000000001,0.116,-0.9218,5,2,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,8,18,22,5,1,9,1,23,5,2,7,1,50,53,24,0,4,7,0,1,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,11,19,0,1,6,0,2,3,11,11,0,0,11,8,47,11,41,40,13,38,0,2,3,0,16,16,0,6,21,178,58,7,0.0,0.0,0.0894794937914684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899333382608389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402903409770877,0.0,0.18187035151785647,0.06411413026160988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050653501645572,0.07656012672743452,0.16768626611129606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622652574927938,0.08109532676858923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236011612793666,0.0,0.0,0.09348749298057618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096138744879527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453182935239704,0.15795071561337987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383414395835593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240808079638717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046362918596663326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084206355566679,0.0,0.0958119936460082,0.0,0.0521114503529931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101010575173438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715846331158663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061460127327453734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580182805915173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198302532610897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039227343206964,0.0,0.0,0.19418006047425815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959348953036603,0.0,0.08096691800873437,0.08114573940945062,0.23099799001643306,0.0,0.0,0.07795441686921242,0.0,0.17352495120226713,0.061206030739283226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092371414970817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318876625680515,0.0,0.06740517099595511,0.06798946562925265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973693319915986,0.09756820138295877,0.0,0.0,0.2978849248016765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958000467167209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328511289336748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217715407456616,0.0,0.0975271765985494,0.0,0.0,0.058741115249944735,0.0,0.09053613240432352,0.0,0.0,0.07830562962411751,0.0,0.14583648256073925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358739889445567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346983472110186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645287370440066,0.07665975588002552,0.1050344356741536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405253989130384,0.0,0.0,0.13788399277320146,0.0,0.08014403940445834,0.0,0.10485934990658473,0.0,0.0609169949575381,0.11750680712771455,0.09008826201428446,0.0,0.2138685456228825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622537734743438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816624048327568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500066464617183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838912829593877,0.0,0.2002615774664929,0.0,0.09344336884070814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05904751845102647
mentalhealth,Xempy,2019/02/07,"I don't know what's wrong Hello, reddit, for some time I feel very bad and whenever I tried to tell my mom(so I can fo to therapy) she would ignore it. So my boyfriend suggested me to post here(im using his account) and also im a [16F]

I feel broken.I don't feel loved and I don't love anyone or anything anymore.Despite having people in my life that love me deeply including my boyfriend who I've been with for around 8 months now.He supports me and tries his hardest to find a solution to my problem and he does treat me good.He really us someone I dreamed of but its frustrating because I cannot feel happiness and he thinks that its his fault but its really not.In the past year I don't think I felt truly happy and when something nice happens I keep thinking how its gonna end.Even when I feel okay its very short term because the moment I realize I'm okay I'm not okay anymore.During a day I can feel so motivated at one moment and at the other I just want to sleep forever and it repeats several times a day almost every day.My mood can switch from perfectly calm to rage in a second.Sometimes i get angry over a minor thing or for no reason at all.My sexual drive was always big and that used to make me happy but in the past 2 years it slowly began to drop and now i dont have it at all and it upsets me.A few months ago i lost my virginity and since then i felt way worse because i wanted to save it for when i turn 18 but my boyfriend needed it a lot (he was a virgin too) so i did it for him but i realized recently that I got rushed into it.We talked things thru and he feels very bad that he didn't understand me and he stopped every sexual activity with me since then on my request.I have a really hard time forgiving him and I get angry at him a lot and i feel really bad for it.It feels like I've only felt anger and misery for the longest time.",1.8482856719514016,3.4370132544080607,3.8847303304193233,88.00806749148028,77.66498740554157,7.0887242554452525,22.507704845162245,7.928766900206844,1.0243587790783821,1470,43,319,24,34,502,198,397,0.191,0.68,0.129,-0.9801,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,3,12,30,3,1,15,3,18,7,1,6,2,73,56,35,0,5,9,0,13,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,23,22,0,3,23,1,1,2,9,12,0,1,11,13,49,17,34,43,6,45,0,1,0,5,23,14,0,6,27,185,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198799304720035,0.0,0.08132034177256019,0.0,0.0,0.06494381332969075,0.06757343959525898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05678410005567393,0.0,0.06682912210018233,0.07229434646823675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20342151778211875,0.1485150570392703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712169258043582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106764332809766,0.0,0.0951778165973645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192818338376003,0.0,0.0,0.05363860895794096,0.0,0.1368462884946023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695611151475209,0.05801662395891893,0.2339237470972209,0.0,0.07422470381843715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485801509790163,0.0,0.0,0.06811531073149314,0.06495126136832806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718139622269329,0.25934948661330703,0.07274843911684506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544202701791994,0.0,0.0,0.07218340797117799,0.0,0.0,0.044631033516692835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736120632178295,0.039675229571628085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865058896223141,0.13808411310333588,0.219886283306422,0.0,0.05420847727838839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511247170363912,0.12964250498665034,0.0,0.0,0.060216376690599815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503017200594166,0.061764060062873084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504875922878136,0.056300967006491134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777697779388612,0.0,0.0,0.07770724844041317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081014810385408,0.08349766993451964,0.08018533169090143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917444750373828,0.0,0.13435592789270814,0.0,0.08126890626064041,0.0,0.06880918737486763,0.06251962355453504,0.0803190208960036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789541136053466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215643746746256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527372853473529,0.07098134426590855,0.0,0.09287100663414533,0.0,0.10790497266812556,0.1561087610313793,0.0,0.0,0.18941741615861832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027286769347604,0.08833343970393566,0.0,0.08454274176222351,0.09768594023727424,0.14027917557564154,0.0,0.2010209016092072,0.09579982754482096,0.06446092212643707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276019005699882,0.057689436667498324,0.08879066763109475,0.0,0.10459348608741924
mentalhealth,limemoon_,2019/02/07,"Idk what to do I'm so sorry for the title I know you're supposed to write  a full sentence explaining something but I have to hurry up because I'm currently in my break.

Anyway idk what to do? I'm in school still have 8 hours until school is finished and i'm so close to having a panic attack because we discussed really sensitive topics 10 minutes ago and I thought I  could handle it. And i'm trying to calm down but i can't. Idk if i should go home or not because i don't want to make a scene i feel so shitty, I hate myself, i'm shaking so badly and hope nobody notices it. ",0.981344086021508,2.86375240322581,3.475483870967744,88.5498924731183,81.41935483870971,5.423655913978496,22.43010752688172,6.42735559955562,0.5670075268817203,454,15,94,4,12,158,78,124,0.257,0.67,0.073,-0.9781,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,6,7,2,2,4,0,10,0,0,1,0,21,25,13,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,1,1,12,2,13,22,1,15,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,3,6,59,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184333708239082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365713235160448,0.0,0.0,0.1736282266026149,0.3802902405605007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602987515846976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514495835043396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181818669487408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053059916698224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20858919860999225,0.2065396802766856,0.20478728434887286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428300140664498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880717063702006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367506297815892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439826404653572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332170687989859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4209097619082958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008883648086494,0.0,0.23278120695431798,0.0,0.0,0.16606785953137554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508780021962186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118331238077647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226533530975286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sunflowerxx09,2019/02/07,"How do I approach my therapist that I want medication? He is a nice guy. I’ve been with him for over a year now. He has always wanted me to heal in other ways such as meditation, working out, having a hobby, etc. I’ve tried it all. I’ve made some of those tasks habits. But my depression won’t go away. I’ll be super happy one day and super sad the next day. I can’t even concentrate at school. I want to drop out again because all subjects are difficult for me to understand. I’m tired of being an emotional wreck all the f-ing time. The only medication he has suggested has been birth control but I doubt that’ll work because I’m always feeling low, not specifically before my period. How do I approach this medication topic to him? ",2.2819980694980693,4.4033298445945945,4.478803088803087,81.78067567567571,78.25675675675676,7.742084942084942,24.08494208494209,8.634040054169528,1.8261239382239385,579,20,114,13,14,200,99,148,0.123,0.777,0.1,-0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,5,6,9,0,1,7,0,15,5,0,4,3,21,24,6,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,3,1,13,4,16,17,5,21,0,3,0,0,7,7,0,2,9,72,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656789109155587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999402096101278,0.0,0.0,0.19463918982118225,0.0,0.13584820905436934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905817405386096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20591877723955215,0.0,0.13750410229597754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795818770238992,0.0,0.0,0.1780490915195872,0.10544562550262077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072254027718563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073131669335384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580760609175733,0.0,0.16994766376316256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510622636204116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4824839866301493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978685885629036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818123402926663,0.1214190687163021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157172793517394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853629774856846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309170351340172,0.18349124206546671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839012919801752,0.0,0.0,0.16619861066520852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28249258140981304,0.12672070335432514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23245046892820245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280771424027392
mentalhealth,easternbumblebee,2019/02/07,"I have been hallucinating? Things to know:

1) I have a deep, deep fear of someone watching me. Not through webcams or anything. Not a stalking thing. But just someone peering through my windows. Or just someone in my house, watching from behind a curtain. I know it's not real, but I still stay up late and have anxiety about it. I've had this fear since I was around 12.

2) I often am in high stress situations for long periods of time and go without sleep for long periods of time

3) Last year, I was sexually assaulted and I believe I have PTSD from it- it fucked me up big time. 

Now that that's out of the way, I think that I might be having hallucinations. I'm not sure if they are hallucinations or not. Frankly, I'm a little confused. I hear these voices- they are mostly just a word or a string of words and cause me to turn my head and look around for the source. It's not like it's a voice in my head having a conversation with me. These not only happen in public, but a lot of the times, they happen in my house. These are not my family's voices. Sometimes, it's hard for me to tell if they are real. Ultimately, I know they aren't. 

I have had visual hallucinations before, but mostly when I have been severely sleep deprived. But now, I feel like I am having mild hallucinations, but I'm not sure. 

Anyways, is this cause for concern or am I just being a fool?",2.315652173913044,4.271655666666672,4.021397101449279,85.89461739130434,77.47826086956522,6.734840579710145,24.083478260869562,7.699297019823105,1.1304532173913031,1068,36,224,16,25,358,130,276,0.182,0.818,0.0,-0.9938,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,5,0,13,12,2,4,13,0,27,5,4,2,2,55,42,19,0,2,27,0,2,2,0,1,0,4,2,0,17,9,0,0,5,0,0,1,11,8,0,0,6,9,34,4,32,33,3,33,0,1,3,1,9,15,1,13,17,163,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217081578073489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839192407794405,0.191241069266344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140073495119376,0.12101791106809125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22068592110253227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125961995100333,0.24173945996066534,0.05431134911398967,0.07673602254639522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930178680698956,0.0,0.0,0.061045405652297234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18997030328734715,0.0,0.09622114289583883,0.0,0.22047389543465412,0.0,0.12106250031439075,0.0,0.0,0.11348795946848972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478808580024315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709448226240845,0.08755610680469189,0.12116678556543002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049533427900823,0.10765626029843438,0.0,0.19011463107055893,0.09020004822931413,0.0,0.0,0.0913188746030752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394844717337595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169259053917992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556030074279967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445195097493177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134635944967845,0.0,0.08885332175926926,0.12073695455077592,0.2149815758860157,0.0,0.2730326065268361,0.0,0.10623441658281163,0.0,0.0,0.11448819583699968,0.08578033257249666,0.0,0.12304147533327195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20247136866911253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388388469172304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272113491802935,0.06882605127498223,0.0,0.0,0.2505340387837781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683473387768215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525961071361647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354250659938913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917058903921645
mentalhealth,brett_weiland,2019/02/07,"Can't tell if I'm schizophrenic, or just scaring myself into believing I do Disclaimer: this is really long and poorly written, I'm writing before I go to bed and I'm pretty tired. 

**I know it may be long to read, but I would really appreciate some input.**

So some background. I'm 17 years old in high school. My birth mom had schizophrenia, along with a boat load of other mental health problems. I was adopted, so I don't really know that much about the rest of my family history on that side, I'm planning to ask more. Anyway, I knew that I had a higher possibility of schizophrenia due to my genetics, somewhere about 10% whereas most people are at 1%. Doesn't sound like a big deal. I didn't really care, until I heard the fact again in phycology flipping through my textbook (also claiming 13%), which then I started to think about it a bit. More on that in a bit.

A month earlier I was showering, felt tired but overall fine, then all the sudden felt really depressed then stressed out of nowhere. I saw objects moving around outside of my shower and thought someone was outside my bathroom door waiting for me; it was definitely some kind of psychotic attack. The floating objects turned out to just be my hair dangling and I knew that nothing dangerous was happening, but I was extremely scared. Another time I had a really horrible day and looked into a mirror, and it wasn't me. They looked like me, but they were not. This was all in one really bad month, and I'm pretty sure it was caused by a lack of sleep and finals.

Over time I also apparently lost 20 pounds, which might not sound like much, but it was for me (\~135lb to 115lb, as of now I'm back to 122lb). For a while I've been having thoughts pop up in my head that are definitely not mine, usually when I am mildly tired. They are not voices appearing to come from outside my head, but rather entirely involuntary intrusive thoughts, voices that aren't auditory but external (it's hard to explain, but if you ask I can try to go more in depth). They usually don't finish their sentences, and just say some mild insults towards other people or things that don't really make sense. 

Ever sense I've read the book I've noticed visual distortions, but don't even really have to do with schizophrenia. It still makes me worry. If I look at an object it starts to move or float around, but just a small amount, sort of like when you look at a dim led segment clock when it's dark in the room. Objects have some outlines around them, and my far vision is blurry. These are not in moments of hysteria, but all the time as of recently.  

My mood has been wildly all over the place. My therapist thinks I am bipolar, and he said that might be a sign of schizophrenia in the future, but he didn't really make it clear how much it actually meant. The non auditory 'voices' have gotten more frequent. Today was really strange. I felt like the whole room was moving and warping around me, I started laughing because I was nervous and my legs felt week. It honestly felt like I was tripping. I was at work and asked to go on break, I ate then was fine later on.

Sorry, I just remembered one last thing. I know this has probably nothing to do with schizophrenia, but it's been a big problem so I'll mention it just in case. I've been having a really hard time with test, even if I know the material. I forget everything. In my last test I forgot way more then just the test. I couldn't recall my schedule I do every single day. I couldn't complete the test at all (just got it back, 48% F, and I know I'm good at math). After the test I didn't really feel anything, and was in a daze. The whole schizophrenia thing was  apparently still in the back of my mind, because when I was sitting at a table in the commons I overheard a group talking to our police officer about a guy they wanted him to take care of; the person was threatening them because he had schizophrenia or something like that. I can't recall it very well, but I know for a fact they were talking about that. I went from feeling nothing to explosive, a friend took upstairs to an empty classroom and 10 seconds after the explosion I felt nothing again and was in the same daze. It was seriously concerning. I know it was probably dissociation, but it was pretty wild so I felt I had to include it. I've also had really big highs, but they probably wouldn't add much to this material and none of you are probably reading to this point. 

I've become more paranoid of big brother companies such as google, but I always have been a bit scared due to my extreme opinions on digital privacy. Hasn't really been effecting me that much, but I swear every time I think of something it's one of the things that pops up on my google feed or search results. This has been provable, but I think I'm just paying more attention to their data collection algorithms more then usual.  

Now that I think about it, none of these things really sound like schizophrenia, even while I feel like that's it. A lot of it started when I thought about it too much. Any input would be great, I would really like to know what is going on. What I'm thinking is that most these things are happening purely because I think of it all the time.

**tl;dr : Had some panic attacks and some dissociative experiences triggered by small events, and (a?) psychotic attack. See visual distortions, things are moving around. Hearing voices, not mine but not out loud. Mild paranoia. No real delusions or formed hallucinations. Mood has been all over the place for a very long time now.**

Any help would be very appreciated.",4.790389970140662,6.049317931671285,5.497910086220337,80.69648703097457,69.59095106186518,8.617663776666546,28.838711611564804,8.988350727773057,2.309796570373302,4412,160,838,81,77,1432,409,1083,0.139,0.799,0.062,-0.9975,4,0,2,0,0,0,143.0,1,3,11,4,53,43,5,6,51,0,96,13,5,9,13,177,180,76,0,16,47,2,13,10,1,8,6,12,6,2,65,38,2,2,36,4,2,14,26,19,1,4,69,31,99,22,119,96,45,148,0,2,6,0,41,62,0,26,79,582,164,16,0.0,0.0,0.03850609839112437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466556822430662,0.032832883935543664,0.0,0.0,0.05366667641785553,0.0413759939862186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03247123163438183,0.17563349601595055,0.11066595893443787,0.13467024993788146,0.0,0.09102414842292368,0.032946451166497664,0.09621487692319328,0.043579146280653784,0.03357653390977053,0.044456557125466416,0.0,0.0,0.12923637492253112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046175610780777,0.040535058702016166,0.0,0.03399026368388638,0.041371802774807814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05089532541334545,0.04068029185122017,0.03398580802508526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818649899702529,0.0356927451341122,0.06649148443626718,0.0,0.03546302658757293,0.038598279545353005,0.03719824643413258,0.0,0.05985466712663811,0.028189375769306163,0.26520646272407955,0.043225188455587774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030485772258189544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970138518096395,0.03309617069777688,0.03155880829430351,0.04350346809979673,0.0,0.03907041731847654,0.06978657593489837,0.0,0.07069467152543531,0.0,0.0809922286755549,0.04194286095682203,0.044472937216295964,0.0,0.026448402977304417,0.08338078072302507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041090269814518715,0.17348420351593255,0.06432837965044902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927757733576596,0.0,0.0,0.10475939324163114,0.1325418216670455,0.0,0.04307394318904476,0.033546462086431965,0.0,0.0,0.07901716947358513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03976519123468579,0.08371910581518985,0.039842141207221626,0.04621367156937449,0.06299127800560378,0.16775384594581733,0.1740405563193933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144713749818473,0.04492410718787599,0.04140537462667168,0.0,0.080214915560589,0.0,0.0,0.046296401840021935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471152944870047,0.034453903587110736,0.0824520986527997,0.0,0.03730132175295416,0.04448387004487034,0.0,0.12043136086141926,0.17017304799135868,0.07551348826628468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840843922882585,0.0449127548869409,0.4297314183262066,0.0,0.038960806265146114,0.0,0.04469913021406078,0.0,0.037534356325571734,0.031379222817165445,0.11851543222818305,0.03993441385527857,0.03144355615150225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03948729830546312,0.0,0.03343331457315092,0.060754626556081076,0.0,0.04417089788604292,0.11171657155055494,0.0,0.06302369990678529,0.0,0.045199923950741086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03718945356132127,0.0,0.029668108117930636,0.06343098015604083,0.034488731842428746,0.0,0.0,0.045814709980263366,0.18350272129335288,0.17698524765920434,0.0,0.125303523615863,0.16106121185149722,0.13605626355128378,0.03740233014945403,0.0,0.043840180489453116,0.026789936163568367,0.04291984529421747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037488589656393,0.09767293141633288,0.023273823544161347,0.03132056007851817,0.03165147055002819,0.0,0.035478201477686384,0.0365787044325963,0.0,0.08810868573155374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028726477539303345,0.040072328431919234,0.0,0.11212160220086012,0.0,0.0,0.025410174542625164
mentalhealth,sunnyx4suuunny,2019/02/07,"Tips on dating someone with bipolar disorder? My boyfriend has bipolar disorder. I’m losing faith that I can keep him in my life. It feels like torture dealing with his mood swings sometimes. 
He’s been on a medication for it for the first time (for the past 6 months.) It’s working for him but comes with stupid side effects and the manic (and depressive) episodes are still around, just not as severe as before the meds. 

He broke up with me (again) for literally no reason today. He randomly decides he doesn’t like me anymore and we break up for a day or two about once a month. I’m exhausted from crying about doing literally nothing wrong and being broken up with. It barely feels worth it sometimes but we really do love each and have an amazing connection. I don’t even know if I want to make it work or not. He’s really great for so many reasons. Idk. Help. 

",3.318392857142854,5.461868815476191,4.1601428571428585,85.18485714285717,75.13095238095238,7.099047619047619,26.080952380952386,8.021203637495839,1.6448423809523804,683,25,131,11,15,219,112,168,0.18600000000000005,0.6579999999999999,0.156,-0.7188,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,0,0,5,8,14,2,0,8,0,10,6,0,4,0,34,20,13,0,2,8,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,15,0,1,7,0,1,1,5,7,0,2,1,2,12,6,25,18,1,20,1,3,0,1,13,8,0,4,12,83,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255094130811508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279586127255564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231171150964995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381883541084228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789107051078866,0.09270007404390547,0.1481890934426355,0.12380260445456395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32947579670818816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493857163232376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535800107247224,0.10268751402386952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226472920088817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847328536621905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634554428828873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277622552387682,0.0,0.0,0.07899545970462543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015274463878666,0.1404476998152003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160807712224219,0.0,0.0,0.1297304936637538,0.0,0.09594721979477357,0.14572927303958144,0.0,0.0,0.15966215976422954,0.14480240505566572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22946296493110005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792190879811134,0.0,0.0,0.15307785623055678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721559917863352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18416638451476147,0.2955762527110405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238469983508058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217899958903339,0.0,0.2843240444491223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479053528849124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381564735620516,0.0,0.13624822107375073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041258687876468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478127011887915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092881083507718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715655798953315,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Superseed127,2019/02/07,Am I going crazy at 15 help To make a long story short a absent druggie dad xanny addicted mother my 2 ur older bro basically took care of me after my parents got together they sold spice in 2013 me moved out just in time not getting busted I always felt alone and my bro developed bad anger issues he smokes pot so he's chilled out but sometimes I hear voices they are not bad lije telling me to IDK kill animals and I'm pretty chill for a 15 year old I looked it up and it sounds like DID (dissociative identity disorder )this is like crazy people kinda crazy will I be fine? What's going on  is this like just me syking myself out? Answers would be good. ,2.1712492770387466,4.384516165413537,3.837593984962407,85.77106998264895,79.07518796992481,6.498322729901678,21.508964719491033,7.61054688173877,0.9544567958357436,522,15,102,8,13,174,98,133,0.201,0.648,0.151,-0.8342,1,1,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,0,3,10,2,0,3,0,9,1,0,1,0,16,21,5,1,1,5,5,1,3,0,2,1,3,0,0,5,6,0,0,2,0,1,4,2,4,0,0,5,6,15,6,13,12,0,19,0,0,1,0,13,9,0,1,9,54,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155008493471735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914833391419252,0.0,0.0,0.15383771486861295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087396629814464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18850084443146936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118922773768961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775169599302379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659389257923284,0.0,0.21014687810975355,0.1550713388760754,0.14786806305237507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20837691408045286,0.0,0.12392337767039835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929701292247436,0.0,0.0,0.20454597681713352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27097392218355193,0.0,0.0,0.16361590104759197,0.15525540651416944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341103725019638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19650168693213935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19400392083591567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20529102328662574,0.0,0.0,0.1281748000553083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18809278110536345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285430946144246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159615176575726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780693802437206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20541214713776387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133579054348124,0.0,0.0,0.11905878246102752
mentalhealth,Throwaway557710046,2019/02/07,"Is this gaslighting? (Long story) My boss has been acting strange, since day one. Of course sometimes he'll ignore me and things like that that are normal if your boss is busy, etc. But lately it's been *weird.* In order to fully understand, you have to read this whole passage.

For instance, for the past few weeks he's been saying things under his breath and I go, what's that? And he says he said nothing, or repeat the sentence BEFORE the muttering. One time in particular he joked about mopping and having a heart attack, and then something about ""not very big one"" and then said ""I hope she didn't hear that,"" and I said hear what? And he ignored me. Weird behavior.

Another thing is that he will make me do weird things. I work as a cashier. And he made me clean the ledge of the windows outside. He made me dust off the top of end caps (the end of isles) that looked like they haven't been dusted in years.


Also, he will say things *to* or *with* my coworkers in conversation, seemingly low-key about mistakes I've made. It sounds crazy but I've been through this before with sneaky friends, it goes like this. He said, ""Melanie did a fantastic job setting the produce out. I'm glad she doesn't just stand around. We hate to just stand around, don't we Melanie?"" She laughed and nodded. He was standing behind me, and I was checking her items out, she had just gotten off work.

One time I had forgotten to tell a customer that if they don't have the receipt they won't get the full price. The customer got angry. Then later, my coworker had to return something and the customer had the receipt, but they made a big show out of telling them that if they didn't have the receipt that they wouldn't get all of the money back. 

It's belittling behavior that it very subtle, but not arguable, or anything to point out. None of these things by themselves is very ""notable.""

There's also condescending behavior, which actually really scares me.

My supervisor and I are bubbly and giggly with each other. I like her. She asked how my car was doing, and I said it was okay. The tone of the conversation was serious, and she was changing trash while I was on lunch break. I told her I needed rotors. ""Well keep putting money into it,"" she said, and while pushing through the heavy breakroom door she passed behind me, ""because you'll have a *new* car soon."" It was a quiet, ominous, tone. That scared the shit out of me. I don't know what that meant. I don't even know what it COULD have meant. She said it like it meant something horrible! Later she said, ""don't forget to approve your clock-out punch, it'll be your last."" And I said what do you mean? And she said, ""your last one before payday!""

What's going on? And are ALL of my co-workers really this weird? At first, I really liked my job. Now, I'm nervous because I don't know what kind of condescending, backhanded, or belittling things are going to occur. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it.
",2.457288074712644,4.841406024305557,2.9921312260536403,91.29875,79.0347222222222,5.847413793103449,22.257423371647512,7.026839596935285,0.6286807710727973,2314,71,469,27,58,718,251,576,0.081,0.805,0.114,0.9717,2,0,3,0,0,0,112.0,2,8,7,6,18,29,3,3,27,1,54,4,3,9,2,80,99,40,0,9,16,0,0,6,1,7,0,17,4,0,48,34,1,3,9,4,4,9,15,14,1,6,40,18,66,15,54,50,9,65,0,0,1,0,66,23,1,9,33,312,114,9,0.0,0.0,0.06067229087773611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994401256145822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519425356961005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051163428474843065,0.11069505354621624,0.05812375642019923,0.07073124273991123,0.0,0.047807523489896656,0.0,0.07580068149406591,0.0,0.15871500753054746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577123617300043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049640418066623414,0.0,0.0,0.040096713466395976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101343950131094,0.0,0.0693397999086577,0.041064958608848776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288468066910695,0.0,0.0,0.048035031316172906,0.0,0.06496609336675391,0.0,0.10600376488201464,0.0,0.049725764920084486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06138338204702785,0.0,0.0,0.14014792958594605,0.07367580397366959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061752236255647026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339505488405947,0.055262593832482866,0.0,0.06474405111388233,0.10250665964157894,0.1013592735935332,0.07013432767157518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18224875981772926,0.0,0.0,0.05502152165067997,0.052210015384872126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23531997931112,0.04150124171622797,0.0,0.0,0.06772508290785803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04610080433505058,0.0,0.060047478028210324,0.0,0.0,0.060916752520777384,0.059657074871342565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065159775431386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593515660060816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05877397965723051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625014611429017,0.0,0.0,0.12438049326278484,0.0,0.1194896577946582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5914116153140561,0.14832840099316774,0.12449288256647285,0.0,0.0,0.05660034797291024,0.0,0.0,0.06382012383738736,0.05143049684690524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359241244609314,0.0614911037529684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04674667548084066,0.0,0.10868462180164162,0.05724093336554125,0.0,0.0,0.2891368107482091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876146639701192,0.0,0.0,0.059409368741856164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472472457044065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538987524931601,0.0,0.0,0.049871768581000966,0.0,0.05590137276461318,0.0,0.0,0.06941440489842071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578897426484812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0400376450879157
mentalhealth,CaptainPoppin,2019/02/07,"The struggle is real right now. [TW suicidal] I'm going to start by sharing my diagnosis and situation so you guys know where I'm coming from and also run with a little disclaimer - I am NOT going to act on these thoughts. 

I have...
Rapid cycling bipolar (medicated but not feeling very stable recently). 
Anxiety (largely under control). 
Agoraphobia (not for a while now. A couple years clear)

I have been suffering with unexplained pain in my bones since September. Every. Fucking. Day.

My appendix tried to explode in October resulting in a hospital stay and surgery.

After the surgery I started having episodes. I feel a tingling in my brain and my body just shuts down.

I have been seen by a neurologist and had huge amounts not diagnostic tests. Literally EVERYTHING has come up negative.

Best guess at the moment is non epileptic seizures but no guesses on cause or cure for the pain.

Because of these physical issues, I've been unable to work. I am now really struggling with self worth. My wife is amazing, my employer has been good up until yesterday but I sense their patience is wearing out. They want me back at work (and I want to be back) but they can't have me there if I'm blacking out and in too much pain to focus. Unfortunately I simply don't have any answers for them about when this might be resolved. 

I am now finding myself in a position where I feel truly worthless. 

I genuinely feel like I might as well give up.

If nobody can with out what's causing this, how is it ever going to improve? How am I supposed to provide for my family if I can't work? How am I supposed to be a good dad if I can't look after myself? I can't even be alone with my child because I can't guarantee I'll be conscious.

I don't know how I'm still going.... But I'm still going....

To anybody else struggling, you are not alone, you are important, you are loved.",2.892805411858337,5.276263445682453,4.384658973338638,81.89586629526464,77.4958217270195,7.334054914444888,28.641543971348987,8.329178653251315,2.3282115559092724,1463,66,270,29,35,486,195,359,0.131,0.7240000000000001,0.146,0.5808,1,2,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,4,4,6,24,18,1,3,12,0,41,13,5,8,2,61,71,27,1,6,16,2,4,1,0,2,6,0,0,3,6,17,0,1,11,0,1,9,14,9,1,0,7,7,42,9,46,57,3,55,0,2,3,2,16,24,1,9,22,197,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017393252387211,0.0,0.07788505951588905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623050542918643,0.0,0.07450529481917498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497782425074427,0.0,0.11873960442070335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220783013915263,0.0,0.0,0.10818154592628412,0.0,0.10872267579822124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000986537368694,0.0,0.16779070318624142,0.0,0.0,0.10923440841991768,0.0,0.10776338113125007,0.0,0.06281035739689057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135926300771003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432708578153068,0.08809744549788709,0.08205771094640907,0.0,0.08753045024275735,0.0,0.09181334961865996,0.0,0.1969790874931848,0.06957750058519503,0.0,0.0,0.08901533769045376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003815809578725,0.0,0.0934281353080121,0.2767531210604624,0.1633770719108736,0.0,0.0,0.21457849858332173,0.09643427389406946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165287443670068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070491713831678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475812468973098,0.0976132625245912,0.0,0.0,0.08178549917237718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790088634056638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811309114130776,0.0,0.20663693235062186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159498084348859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31089870728311425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085443164837301,0.06239237967807128,0.0,0.0961637300129401,0.0,0.0,0.08317299652295862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016020256135937,0.0,0.0,0.08056440562793407,0.10947368976326888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787037864985752,0.10380786296332442,0.15555617666142596,0.0,0.0,0.30544858690986115,0.0,0.10653201493391516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731907633444816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612337975669529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035933464665113,0.11488970061031395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875679051667113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127095531477956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271782846764777
mentalhealth,sassafrassvt,2019/02/07,"A sudden paranoid loved one... How do I help? So my ex fiancee whom I'm very close with has had some pretty major changed mentally that were caused what seemed like out of the blue. 
His doctors say that a person cant have their first psychotic break after mid 20s or so but the entire time I was with him he never had any of these thoughts. He thinks people are after him and he tells me all the time that he wont be around for long and things of that nature. He is on anti depressants but hasnt gone to see an actual therapist. I know he needs to go but I wanted to know how to approach it when he starts talking like that. I usually tell him he hasn't done anything wrong and apply your logic to your thoughts and things like that but other then that I seem to be at a loss. Any tips would be greatly appreciated ",4.205292207792208,4.731364226190479,4.835411255411255,87.59746753246756,70.42857142857143,7.775757575757577,24.7965367965368,7.686295010490155,1.0145523809523809,642,16,139,7,11,206,111,168,0.061,0.8079999999999999,0.13,0.9016,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,1,2,6,8,0,0,7,0,18,2,0,3,2,31,33,15,0,3,5,1,0,3,1,2,1,1,0,1,14,9,0,0,8,0,0,3,5,3,0,2,8,3,15,5,18,20,3,22,0,2,2,1,25,6,0,4,15,92,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.15061754614868775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20991851809832304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701201714904325,0.1373989435270093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585538740559068,0.16327555884622585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329363197648354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797769390511426,0.0,0.1579475688687661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128498555113474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771729080976716,0.0,0.0,0.17016488005597108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345357547082606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964692685634572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22621414648495455,0.0,0.0,0.13658964341881027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930154753136909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554251861783586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444417087230965,0.11903966039396564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458753505777972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700274314865883,0.13476728701057486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570234050378812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274059793769634,0.0,0.0,0.12299223934927092,0.281018085834958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924552586563392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405591555740594,0.2698070371670833,0.0,0.0,0.1792053592303609,0.20507868139350605,0.09889744675238096,0.0,0.24506389947774646,0.17999853472113958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998818553965184,0.1273500204707667,0.09103613033220577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964159769070124,0.16875100922214326,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wruffdoggo,2019/02/07,"Don't wanna do anything anymore? Hello, Im not sure if this is the right place to post this? 

​

For the Last Few Months, Ive Just completely Lost the Will Do do anything, I don't wanna Work, Play, Even get out of bed, all i wanna do is Nothing But Lay in bed and Cry. Nothing Major Has happened to In the Last few years, That Would make me wanna just cry, Atleast i think... I have never Seeked Help, Talked to Any of my Family or Posted about this Before. When I'm Online with friends, I feel Happy, Have fun, and i Go back to My old Self. But as soon as i try to do anything else i Just lose Motivation and Give Up... Is anyone Else Experiencing This? Is there something i can do without seeking Mental Help from a doctor? 

​

Thanks For listening, Have a great night!

\-Kaleb Marchant 

\-",3.110667634252536,4.781791484276732,3.8743396226415108,89.06982583454284,74.40880503144653,6.150169327527817,24.809385582970492,6.67199483983844,0.7774688921141757,622,20,128,5,13,198,101,159,0.124,0.7609999999999999,0.114,0.5782,0,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,4,9,9,0,0,6,0,20,1,0,2,3,26,31,10,0,6,9,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,2,1,5,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,3,13,7,23,28,4,19,0,2,0,0,8,6,0,2,10,86,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541210813621925,0.2849885074854133,0.0797467079580653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629899654738135,0.0819969714876945,0.12015559709116395,0.28950633790217617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017235854016067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997869897177263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295395555680692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25762822603194163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002943936407692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959258303923524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745484184924414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105504530162388,0.0,0.0592945564221937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060147336946177,0.0,0.061268033108413486,0.11249478126723353,0.06664648013380832,0.0,0.0,0.12928910814992212,0.0,0.0,0.10370028594917917,0.12483466579746465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720541751205394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266702727790636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19117921391133905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311936308321809,0.1280125917004311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827773904014185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817922420230327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093602723073547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044481753075682,0.0,0.0,0.11004869043838217,0.0,0.22504487796330908,0.0,0.12305372863182852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252078702616905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22462191438489074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014679218785842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233678441754052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902791412560278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052432124483057,0.0,0.0,0.0942561043022711,0.0,0.10796522366823376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514102019590657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961772027084167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304280044244767,0.0,0.0853729788352817,0.0,0.0,0.08330428920997499,0.0,0.2849885074854133,0.07551717019464968
mentalhealth,mokucat,2019/02/07,i just need to vent something so... im very new to this site and have no idea how to use it. but i needed some sort of outlet that wasnt any other site i was already using because i feel like people wouldnt actually respond? but anyway... this is sort of a weird topic and i dont know if anyone else feels like this because its really specific... but if anyone could just read this please? [https://onedrive.live.com/edit.aspx?resid=9EBEF88296165350!849&app=Word&wdnd=1&wdPreviousSession=99ed5034-f3e2-4c73-822e-69795c6770b8&wdNewAndOpenCt=1549514108069&wdPreviousCorrelation=d78d7ec7-a932-4806-be62-25e0c7b6d897](https://onedrive.live.com/edit.aspx?resid=9EBEF88296165350!849&app=Word&wdnd=1&wdPreviousSession=99ed5034-f3e2-4c73-822e-69795c6770b8&wdNewAndOpenCt=1549514108069&wdPreviousCorrelation=d78d7ec7-a932-4806-be62-25e0c7b6d897),30.06015873015873,38.698602493827174,11.940141093474429,30.067777777777792,17.888888888888886,6.603880070546737,21.447971781305114,7.447530270364453,0.7529527336860671,786,8,63,4,7,158,57,81,0.05,0.809,0.141,0.8553,0,0,1,0,0,0,82.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,3,0,23,14,9,0,6,7,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,2,5,2,5,10,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,3,40,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.08032426669395737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908329185371188,0.0,0.0,0.8918460495666948,0.0,0.05597472360585568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510839589652898,0.08433798095353537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003527980867344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571913013171161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646860461568543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876079580129259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323845565661213,0.11760687433094212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291979901258564,0.08891067342384681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04523631324854816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042659878978403,0.0,0.14536533545167327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206604526196922,0.0,0.07949707468862738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05706451271735034,0.0,0.0,0.09035344010841266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233389384042564,0.0,0.05273093093522761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336750580146151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421816218128669,0.0,0.0679157061666412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,G0atz0nab0at,2019/02/08,"Buzz feeling or dream like feeling every day I've been feeling like this for a while now, time just kinda goes by and it just feels kinda dreamy and I always am not like 100% focused. As an example I could go to class and sit and listen then when class is over and I'm driving home I think back to class and it feels like it didn't happen, the memory is there I know I was there but at the same time it feels weird and i feel like class just passed by and now I'm here driving. Idk what this is I don't feel crazy but I always feel like I'm buzzed or that slightly high feeling and I feel like there's more but I just dont know how to explain it. Is this tied to anything? Am I just overthinking?",-0.4254548623213665,1.737211403973511,1.106824677588012,101.28232833739979,90.58940397350992,3.97364935517602,15.8943882886023,5.399115186594226,-0.967921854304636,546,12,131,3,19,174,78,151,0.036000000000000004,0.7829999999999999,0.182,0.947,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,14,8,0,0,4,0,12,0,0,1,0,40,33,19,0,1,11,0,11,7,0,0,0,1,1,0,10,9,0,0,15,1,0,4,4,1,0,0,3,12,11,7,10,29,2,17,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,16,80,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20067529462563796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992324339811152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272359300245928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627852658492657,0.0,0.0,0.07776833160956452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132650714468828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159934667587243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6706938630150812,0.4307351814512988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853210006946236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663426424970164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740628245265734,0.12095811482441013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325423991150133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123873893293299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726697501576073,0.0,0.0,0.14062994285377745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sorrowfulspookyghost,2019/02/08,"How do I stop this/What is it that's wrong with me?? How do I stop doing this? This is just so terribly wrong of me and I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know if I'm bpd or something.

​

When a boy/person I'm interested in makes me even slightly jealous, even the implication that they might have a 'side girl' or be flirting with others, I just have a meltdown and consider self harm/suicide (i dont threaten them with it, just keep it to myself. i am not trying to be manipulative with this, its out of my control) and instantly consider this person not an option any longer.

​

same with when they make me feel ignored/neglected/like they don't like me - this one boy I really like ignored me when I said hi to him and I just instantly felt this wave of horrible feelings consume me, I walked into class feeling like dying/etc. 

​

I hate this part of me so much and this clearly prevents me from having any normal relationships. I've never had an irl boyfriend before. I hate this very much and don't know what this is.",3.370337329244496,5.028258194312798,4.406038472260941,85.58018678561474,73.69194312796208,7.23958739894062,26.62977418455533,7.928766900206844,1.5411949261221078,833,30,168,12,17,271,109,211,0.193,0.748,0.059,-0.983,0,1,1,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,4,1,13,13,3,0,6,0,19,0,0,6,2,47,34,16,0,2,9,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,0,4,19,14,0,6,7,0,0,1,8,8,0,1,3,5,30,5,17,28,4,11,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,5,9,121,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397033935158375,0.3809662802741873,0.14213816064823154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892868143572777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162427233603285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721470183332347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248269519762835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655413825388848,0.13805320665450482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852728097695132,0.07466059553369138,0.10034414894667583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063601916078572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289158622183256,0.0,0.0,0.17230472824478285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317211166153866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951991413512338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108665610204118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365093204096733,0.0,0.0806030764978213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239573238800312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081738187996478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317206988832175,0.0,0.0,0.18250485440510966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695055419280446,0.0,0.0,0.11220257031938577,0.0,0.0,0.09941111925196552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902472316394733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045542826533618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474687426734334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431488069381204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095412841526785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623011362795066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427895491402073,0.3809662802741873,0.0
mentalhealth,blastlord_prime,2019/02/08,"The weekends are the hardest. I seem to always find myself doing nothing on friday and saturday nights, what does everyone else do? I don't have anyone to go to a bar with.",3.076666666666668,5.107957647058826,4.794705882352943,80.87284313725492,75.47058823529412,6.886274509803924,26.03921568627451,7.793537801064563,1.757286274509804,136,5,24,2,3,46,29,34,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069914947357262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25797466959987986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32286593938854163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082059034895848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35254241282164483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372087155548214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20967974036814727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462295501974927,0.0,0.3540123310922681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358733422605129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thisisme1101,2019/02/08,"Filling yourself back up? Hello,
I have recently started treatment for deppression and anxiety and ADHD. Part of growing up for me was a lot of bullying and emotional abuse. I have trouble accepting that those experiences are some of my more painful ones because they seem so trivial in my mind (Everybody gets bullied a lot, and I'm not sure why I've been so affected it) . I say this because those concerns have made it difficult to be honest about them in therapy which is why I'm asking my question here. I am on a few medications that have really been helping and I feel like I'm starting to ""wake up"" if you will, so good news. For most of my life though I've been a chameleon, just kind of adopting personality traits of the people I was around, and only really talking with the intention of reinforcing the perception I want other other people to have of me. So now I'm trying to participate more in my life but I feel like I'm just an empty shell. I often feel like the most boring one in the room, because there isn't anything in me to bring to the table. I'm hoping this makes sense to some, and I was hoping that if anyone has experienced this, how  did you become a person again? How did you find the things that belonged in the shell and make them work again? I know this reads like a bad surrealism poem but I'm not sure how else to word it. Thanks for reading.",5.41,5.869395000000001,6.354411764705883,78.00235294117648,67.75,9.488235294117649,31.073529411764717,9.478462496947786,2.712516176470588,1088,41,211,21,17,362,146,272,0.112,0.764,0.124,0.6637,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,3,3,1,19,18,0,0,15,0,20,5,1,8,2,50,44,20,0,5,8,0,3,4,0,1,4,1,1,2,17,10,0,0,9,2,0,3,3,5,0,2,9,5,25,13,33,33,10,22,0,0,0,0,14,12,0,13,11,153,42,3,0.0,0.13561429393008775,0.0,0.0,0.13755655769400846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756023765391513,0.0,0.0,0.08003186026324492,0.0,0.09418937618441137,0.10189209706054696,0.1070030004225598,0.0,0.0,0.08801131880067525,0.09556784657274253,0.20931803586393324,0.12641012971241225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561516965461436,0.12875011043060475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196211813286633,0.0,0.0,0.17362057041329607,0.245306961125017,0.0,0.0,0.104612754595982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979970449362605,0.0,0.0,0.09600213836101217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671894326510527,0.0,0.0,0.2273657096209531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919064003044075,0.06290325345140789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169047477639414,0.22367405142464164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19461659925269947,0.0,0.10830315088218376,0.15280352332338387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153046316794411,0.0,0.0,0.11557019051245104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511972654048556,0.08705064656120418,0.12179163356588013,0.0,0.0,0.12394711628038743,0.0,0.15870185913772636,0.19988103454330794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821941990345095,0.0,0.22897842109411184,0.0,0.14664975437421454,0.0,0.11301370022165096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102178370009732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419847977956252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202825784819125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21575106673015929,0.0,0.0,0.0919971949160253,0.0,0.1053777662410714,0.13089296859796112,0.0,0.07604096644851012,0.0,0.11245463624736957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770962936296225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675104334117555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065615112438369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332695937956207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Denserthancake,2019/02/08,"Is feeing heavy shame normal? I don’t know if feelings like shame are usually crippling, but for some reason I have a hard time going anywhere after I feel like I’ve messed up with something. I feel my face rise an temperature, my heart goes wild, and just feel like giving up. Even getting notified or advised gets me incapacitated for a small while. Getting “caught”, being “in the wrong”, running a red light, thinking an unwanted thought, it feels way too much for me. I’ve been going to a therapist for sometime, and I haven’t talked much about this; or at the very least haven’t moved through much. I just hate feeling so upset and distraught when I get called out or exposed or realize I’m doing something wrong. I can’t tell if it’s the anxiety or not.

TL;DR is feeling ultra-shame over being punished by others or messing up by your own accord normal?",7.204666666666667,6.888728496969698,7.150303030303032,76.45212121212124,64.03030303030303,9.272727272727273,34.69696969696969,8.515128840125781,2.7934242424242406,682,27,124,8,9,218,109,165,0.246,0.6729999999999999,0.081,-0.9855,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,7,13,2,4,9,0,12,2,2,1,0,33,32,15,0,5,12,0,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,12,0,1,6,5,10,0,0,3,10,13,3,18,27,6,20,0,0,1,0,6,8,0,9,8,82,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125574328739033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515530052749802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742314086708733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684796152817448,0.28367600805813864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27661247566737995,0.12697265754772832,0.15044752482675994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856938806447395,0.13067900802508553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568483302427611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274210137017156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19399458251206025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067871333203086,0.2919015226454016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25937120197860664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360890728259349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20379580914378725,0.13090833663497373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638669561857396,0.11568928015190558,0.0,0.0,0.1536812325312725,0.0,0.08481153452316421,0.0,0.10507978746396583,0.07718071822341244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577685612575372,0.10921162287156894,0.0,0.1050619392441862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894317803835121,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThiccNiggaL,2019/02/08,"Confused with my condition I always feel as though I'm being watched and its just a matter of time before "" they"". I have to look around erratically everywhere to make sure there's no one there. I see things and hear my name when im spaced out I dont know whats wrong with me or if there even is anything wrong, please help",4.941417910447762,4.899087582089557,5.208171641791047,87.55613805970152,68.70149253731344,8.491044776119404,25.70522388059701,8.07648339933343,1.1227641791044776,256,6,58,3,4,81,55,67,0.067,0.731,0.202,0.7909999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,8,4,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,16,11,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,5,8,1,8,10,0,5,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,3,2,37,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086027220658225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887579574425368,0.20419441023826065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951831710657259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26882846415110817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150153030264432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598004491524885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25852486548522674,0.0,0.1537467558922833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477668240190048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605975449642115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926191452736126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311111571688354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15543198143440332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517873730202615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18278399479010915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21618537207582325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238807273418128,0.0,0.22536201324274216,0.0,0.13375173672244828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5015760954297762,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SupaFlyslammajammazz,2019/02/08,"Unprotected sex Boys, I just exchanged bodily fluids with a dirty girl.  I did not penetrate her or did she give me a bj.  We kissed and she did spit at it.  

  Should I be worried?  I’m thinking of going to the hospital and get treated.  Am I over reacting?",0.7364705882352958,3.0848315686274503,3.4583333333333366,85.40750000000003,86.25490196078432,7.321568627450981,24.18627450980393,8.344100000000001,1.9130627450980402,194,8,40,5,6,68,42,51,0.157,0.7909999999999999,0.051,-0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,6,3,1,1,0,10,11,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,9,2,5,6,0,3,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,1,0,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30377019921799425,0.5577551682794196,0.33043682847793143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725532143975322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5904645994064073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pottsiee,2019/02/08,"Im overcoming my anxieties but dont know what to do next? Without going into to much detail i have recently gone through several stages of selection for a career opportunity and been successful. Ive been struggling to take advantage of opportunities for the past year out of anxiety. I have made more progress in life the past 2 weeks than the previous year and im just so happy, thanks to this (and a decent amount to drink) i felt confident enough to make my first reddit post, this being my second. 
My anxiety mainly comes from judgement from others so posting feels like a big step, basically why im making this post, to push that further.
So far ive pushed this far with the mentality of get used to the discomfort and persevere, but id like move past this so im not sure where to go from here any advice?",4.470295358649789,6.066892759493673,5.6766455696202565,77.8151371308017,70.77215189873421,9.570464135021098,28.356540084388186,9.928628108626363,2.8329223628691977,648,24,123,17,12,216,101,158,0.085,0.6890000000000001,0.227,0.985,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,7,9,11,0,2,8,0,9,2,0,4,1,21,23,10,0,0,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,8,1,0,3,1,0,8,3,2,0,2,5,2,9,9,25,17,5,29,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,11,77,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700661620566223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142596575562679,0.0,0.2747977934901384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314370970914136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033207830093086,0.11729768373915782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237213920160462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054314522008211,0.08554087188825167,0.1149672853320576,0.0,0.0,0.10184910635380533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255817818114379,0.0,0.13609976256229134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746335845844078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5173504741531234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658048893536967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457451100225376,0.11699590559860125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329901824496663,0.15985212836276969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066777061171545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726257546679498,0.08802122859638684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734275230809625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34291049214651786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440277995855061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822685839743542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352698907675962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517618589125554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285167535163795,0.0,0.09002809627469692,0.0,0.0,0.1102386898507587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034152124656748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604662442872436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804494717139973,0.0,0.0,0.11542318715635427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421472990370608
mentalhealth,futureofmed,2019/02/08,"Needing guidance! I don’t know what to call/do about this pattern of apathetic mood I’ll do my best to describe it. I’ve been going through an apathetic phase lately that I feel inhibits me being myself. I’m cognizant of it happening and am trying to become better, but it’s taking longer to get back to my normal self than I though it would being self aware. 

The worst is usually in the mornings. I try to make a pattern of being in bed by 11 and up at 7. Seven hours has just felt right for me and had been my regular sleep pattern since college. But every morning, unless I have somewhere to be, turns into an apathetic, empty waste of time scrolling social media or doing useless shit on my phone/Netflix. I go to the couch and am completely unmotivated for hours. I don’t care about projects, masters homework, meditating, meeting with friends, taking care of myself, getting in the gym, or giving myself ample time to get ready for something, all of which are things I used to do extremely regularly. I don’t feel depressed exactly, no feelings of worthlessness or harmful ideation. Just empty. Kind of void of any emotion aside from some mild self pity. I have had a history of depression and the only similarity I can identify is the lack of willingness to get better in the moment. It usually takes hours to get myself to do anything, but when I get started I usually do a 360 and manage to get shit done. But the first 3-4 hours, sometimes even 5-6, are debilitating in terms of productivity and make me feel like shit. But I seemingly won’t let myself break out of the cycle. 

On top of this, I’ve noticed I’ve become extremely irritable and detached lately. My boyfriend of three years and I broke up. We’re extremely civil and he still lives with me and helps with rent. It’s not toxic by any means. He says I’ve become so focused on myself these past months, which I’ve come to realize is maybe his misinterpretation of my inability to feel really connected to anything, including myself. 

I have this inner irritability when something isn’t done exactly how I want, and I don’t express it often as to not create problems. Aside from my irritability I really don’t feel like I feel anything. Sometimes I wonder if I just lack any emotion right now. It’s the silliest of things that just irk and irritate me. 

Outside of these abnormal feelings, I do still get excited about some things. I’ve been accepted to med school and will matriculate later this year, and anything that has to do with getting prepared makes me excited and anxious to work towards it. This is really the only thing that makes me super excited or keeps my brain active and focused. 

I feel like I could work through it with some serious self help but it’s taking longer/is harder than I anticipated! 

Thank you in advance for your help and for reading my rant!

TL;DR I’ve been extremely and abnormally apathetic and unmotivated. It’s really destructive to my life and relationships. Only future plans of med school keep my attention or excite me. Workin on it is harder and taking longer than originally thought, should I get help? What is this? ",5.388092234923139,6.9574577966101705,6.441162790697675,73.32113716988572,68.49152542372882,9.284982262514779,31.68703192747339,9.648456367147027,3.1861056365786355,2500,106,433,56,43,834,269,590,0.162,0.687,0.15,-0.8564,1,0,2,0,0,0,64.0,0,2,0,11,18,33,4,0,16,0,47,6,5,7,3,92,97,41,0,10,19,0,10,3,1,4,1,1,4,4,33,30,0,2,18,2,1,4,10,14,0,3,10,11,56,17,81,77,9,53,0,6,0,0,21,20,3,12,31,296,89,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293489345333605,0.0,0.0,0.06807570310297363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19835262986117225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04633557745271808,0.0,0.0,0.19965453657260768,0.0,0.0,0.06323827480418764,0.10658866709766553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726915579964701,0.061531343706808725,0.0,0.12287646729061118,0.0,0.0,0.0519079339774319,0.06318058685670408,0.0,0.0,0.048112039030790366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380225911410723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333209238199384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556689742177847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03980060942949897,0.0,0.05077094453102764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742195946179363,0.12914747616316732,0.057858247230098574,0.0,0.0,0.05125641401867488,0.0,0.0,0.04655608053959625,0.0,0.31482926025564845,0.0578060808746945,0.06849334301965147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05328697961612218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615617893785587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373725525770212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712222720778486,0.0,0.06275064625809419,0.033116860558886484,0.0,0.1359499231374056,0.0,0.0,0.06161907775748069,0.04256282952841566,0.0883187510014071,0.0,0.05320994571107456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089383925796927,0.0,0.060538429506378715,0.06563989505191567,0.13386869324422818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480982897084587,0.0,0.0,0.044681406480943715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059041186377099285,0.0,0.06860545748013197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374894285534186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057524190396436026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765988166179044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027547087230961,0.0,0.1544142536397572,0.0,0.0,0.0646957906518435,0.0,0.10292199341764063,0.0,0.0479205057484953,0.0,0.1219709818732556,0.0,0.05485767962659315,0.25145379987685623,0.0,0.18556549734693528,0.0498470030681504,0.0,0.06030268233426012,0.06142662896710997,0.0,0.09278089671283203,0.11919570781368452,0.0,0.04265174635126726,0.0,0.09624609223981292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22653695948686045,0.0,0.0,0.05547854203293818,0.0,0.0,0.1601340435965582,0.0,0.05920432256626125,0.04783904511216867,0.07027520610746497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818240335274223,0.0655446664542939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052044570008854166,0.1991008670121701,0.0,0.035542416121515534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534849275136331,0.08773877798548724,0.0,0.0,0.04280638110528394,0.0,0.0,0.07760985173756657
mentalhealth,Frrrosty,2019/02/08,"Worried about passing of time after stressful breakup with a possible narcissist In May of 2018 I moved out of my mom's house to my girlfriend's mom, sister, and nephew, in a different state that I didn't want to move to with my girlfriend of 2 years at the time, who I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I wasn't ready to leave when I did, and the 6 months that I spent away from home were painfully dull at best, and soul-crushing at worst. We spent every minute together, and it wasn't a healthy dynamic. Long story short, I think my girlfriend was a narcissist, or at least emotionally abusive, and she played a negative role in my life. She often made me feel stupid and naive, going as far as saying I didn't have common sense and that she felt like she needed to hold my hand through everything. The truth is she did have to hold my hand through everything, she had widdled away any self-asuredness that I had had, constantly correcting me on the most mundane of things.  We broke up and I left. 

I've been back for a little over 3 months now and I'm a changed person, reinventing myself into the person she didn't didn't allow me to be. I've been spending lots of time with friends and family, getting back into hobbies that I was cut off from as well as new hobbies, and essentially decompressing from being in virtually back-to-back unhealthy relationships over the past 5 years. I haven't found a new job yet, so I've had lots of free time. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression in the past, and I was on antidepressants since middle school, only stopping them in late 2017. Since then I've been mostly fine, but this breakup, as positive of a change as its been, has been hard on me. During the time we were together out of state I was a mess, crying at least once a week because I felt like I couldn't escape the relationship while simultaneously feeling extremely emotionally dependent on my girlfriend. 

Over the past 3 months I've felt a steadily increasing feeling of worry that I'm not using my time to its fullest extent. A big cause of this is the fact that I haven't found a job yet (which is pretty normal in my city), and am only now beginning to hone in on what I want to do as far as college/further schooling goes. When I stop and ask myself what I ""should"" have been doing during these past few months, I find myself at a loss. I suppose I wish I started learning a skill? But I've been trying all kinds of new things and gaining new skills, albeit more minor ones, and figuring out what is worth my time and what isn't. Not only that, but I haven't been mentally ready to be completely consumed by learning a new skill in the way the voice in my head says I should have. In fact, not being completely wrapped up in any one thing has been a great change of pace from when I have been consumed in the past. Basically, I'm thinking irrationally about the passing of time. Does anyone else have experience with this that could share their thoughts? Any advice would be much appreciated.",9.06752508361204,6.628847056856188,8.534515050167228,74.83983277591975,61.70903010033445,11.808695652173913,36.87959866220736,10.125756701596842,3.391586622073578,2412,83,483,39,26,768,265,598,0.111,0.7879999999999999,0.101,0.5167,3,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,3,0,2,6,14,24,2,1,34,0,61,7,3,5,6,87,89,37,0,12,8,4,9,2,5,4,4,3,1,2,25,32,0,4,15,1,5,6,16,10,1,2,39,12,60,15,90,38,15,98,0,4,0,0,31,44,0,9,47,326,85,6,0.0,0.07580671641185516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252124006120799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305272945405514,0.0,0.048945092087467175,0.0,0.0,0.044736822049279534,0.0655558305113626,0.0,0.0,0.05981335649199556,0.0,0.12022402542195194,0.19678896352314174,0.0,0.039002066141110174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714384085536894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572584577712923,0.20304942273660895,0.0,0.13416518025486787,0.06914045193434111,0.0,0.051083415888770696,0.0,0.07027984018039128,0.0,0.0,0.055106518860345725,0.06493910578932496,0.0,0.06684625721024319,0.0,0.0,0.05598997800288447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053447699653367056,0.1439394451213152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053906534139706516,0.0,0.11500352982930888,0.06258544208138055,0.0603153489003789,0.0,0.0970517558523025,0.0,0.1842946359408468,0.0,0.058477238577880876,0.0,0.0,0.1403031612338478,0.049431362134398214,0.0,0.03342729670073,0.0,0.03636172980369741,0.0,0.0,0.0705389933222246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057314177242260414,0.0,0.06566269917367519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417790034672596,0.0,0.0,0.07382518541634027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698202700066144,0.0,0.0,0.0666260966000613,0.0,0.0,0.07217306316232025,0.06774636710744568,0.06951526279226296,0.0,0.09038297964513392,0.06251551696231858,0.06412551127835574,0.0,0.05662094282812859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878827681833217,0.0,0.06054012455109312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644775389522012,0.0,0.0,0.14986694222858155,0.2042752696590845,0.13600280547523513,0.04703320668537421,0.04744090908931421,0.0,0.30896499391584786,0.0,0.0,0.06268754222488084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813740154042043,0.08671001248438606,0.14598071086966213,0.06808001988215845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30538428643664345,0.0,0.1117310311665534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212867270360171,0.0,0.06509141554800753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738274438985773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176010720244044,0.0,0.12950385223552374,0.0,0.0,0.06674586701522174,0.0,0.0,0.10585106097496967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04528589810649627,0.0,0.0,0.10698152944295433,0.07328972316442246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030109163713964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275178850000271,0.08199255138612217,0.0,0.05079356199438196,0.2984614788792699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043438723639451685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525881812685389,0.0,0.0,0.11321249697597573,0.05078493450588255,0.051321491533624634,0.0,0.057526370343121025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735746951234415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299510972863494,0.0,0.04545008303005015,0.0,0.0,0.08240299960761856
mentalhealth,RobotSalesman,2019/02/08,"Natural ways to cope with anxiety? About a year ago I was diagnosed with General anxiety and prescribed Paxil.  This worked for a few months but then just stopped one day.  My dosage was raised and led to serotonin syndrome (I’m incredibly sensitive to meds). This was a horrible experience so I tried to wean off it but was unsuccessful so I was switched to Prozac. This never really worked and gave me terrible side effects so I had to get off of it.  After Paxil quit working I started using smokeless tobacco which somehow really helped my anxiety (more than Paxil or Prozac). As of a month ago I quit tobacco too but my anxiety has kept getting worse and worse.  This started much earlier before I quit tobacco.  I’m constantly feeling on edge, worrying, picking my nails crazily, getting panic attacks for no reason, and feeling like my brain just isn’t working right.  I can’t bring myself to try prescription meds again due to the myriad of side effects, and I really don’t want to use tobacco that’s harmful to me to calm my nerves. I’ve tried a few herbal teas that help a little but I still just can’t keep it in check or manage it. Any responses would be greatly appreciated! ",4.104417040358744,6.462485663677134,5.373746636771305,76.39488004484306,73.52914798206278,9.303049327354259,31.329372197309407,9.766711354998122,3.5445266367713,945,45,164,27,20,314,131,223,0.199,0.7070000000000001,0.094,-0.9793,0,0,5,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,9,11,7,1,1,7,0,13,5,1,7,1,34,29,17,0,2,9,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,11,8,1,3,5,0,1,2,6,4,0,1,8,2,19,3,26,19,4,27,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,3,17,106,30,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19699621797239628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755630580583489,0.0,0.3400153981367482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641110640746128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455199205807252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404280792306427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007750567614794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166097634150563,0.0,0.0,0.11278094987615515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086932984457186,0.0,0.0,0.11236772336308408,0.07938167891373256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741614191269072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250637845241193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489581500567626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876548691499884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054285929097041774,0.11136796519387734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246850854683872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738432542557786,0.0,0.08168344268408465,0.0,0.0856999263436323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529544373068575,0.0,0.0,0.13037131917363542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545583560780342,0.0,0.0,0.21355230391772184,0.11424631032443767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489291866979456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729771891269267,0.0,0.0887378129778112,0.09289840353609888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22632251186328275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19193802937781612,0.0,0.0,0.06553941466448296,0.0881991379978825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32357666022962883,0.11284424085658085,0.2264744959512319,0.0789340024592978,0.0,0.0,0.07155540914392584
mentalhealth,CorrectPitch,2019/02/08,"I'm not entirely sure what I'm feeling. Ever since I was a kid I was pretty emotional. I would jump in and out of different moods and emotions without warning. Recently, I've noticed these behaviours popping up. Ever since school started back up again, I've been having so much difficulty waking up in the mornings and going to things like band practice before school, or choir, or even just making it to my first class of the day. I wake up and I wouldn't always say I was physically tired. I could definitely get up and face the day. The issue is, I don't want to. Just this morning I cried for really no reason as I lay in the dark. In times like those, I feel like I'm overreacting, trying for attention, faking it. Although, at the same time I believe something could very well be wrong, but then guilt comes over me. 

​

Getting home (thankfully made it to school on time), the same dread overcame me. I don't know what's happening. I want to cry over the littlest things like someone eating the rest of the steak, or having to get dressed. Or I cry over nothing at all. I have no one who understands or gives advice I haven't already tried. Everything is getting so dark and I'm always cold. Does anybody have any advice or have experienced something similar? I want to get better, but I can hardly believe or put hope into the advice some people give me. ",4.11054267744834,5.862086196226418,4.960862533692723,81.97157232704403,71.94339622641509,7.613656783468107,28.090745732255158,8.269060116576782,2.002640610961365,1082,41,201,17,21,351,152,265,0.131,0.773,0.097,-0.8426,1,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,2,10,14,0,2,12,0,20,5,3,3,4,45,46,20,0,8,13,0,3,4,0,2,1,2,1,1,11,9,1,0,6,2,0,4,8,4,1,2,5,7,23,9,31,36,6,34,0,0,0,0,6,17,0,9,17,135,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695548826081733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014681535372242,0.0,0.15301808730291475,0.09962684602281054,0.11172825962066772,0.06252856277783993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070320676772321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824193889304584,0.20719036904483845,0.0,0.08132153501909345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920603541925654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468277997433782,0.0,0.3030054114569737,0.11859916665710035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606727248458607,0.0,0.0,0.0804653049802295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408691708335007,0.0,0.2068607947975074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073153444233567,0.1663465080233084,0.0,0.0,0.08263795085829047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298448772528514,0.0656884782182162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821188464161054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401981318469432,0.17641197167277364,0.05225681064051284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131031369298562,0.0,0.0823683615530591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223247639290087,0.09132623506998863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597100459333154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050532838227431126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968680531042625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700449186270133,0.061376759555425126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759319176624493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822767196208088,0.10468469612926927,0.0,0.0,0.06230711145337641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374595060010997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354532347548787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243427410343254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058904968402066264,0.09453902172331267,0.0907886749481996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312164027322339,0.0,0.2791722913083433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212254420591148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790820109228869,0.14157386796519408,0.0,0.0,0.06508206883480278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666096866430698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465440691937583,0.0,0.0,0.12217383506779735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608488347791917,0.10568200088195102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248548497525866,0.0,0.0,0.0957222890923207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758676635287199,0.1627019409844363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267331224574502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863568196150909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531802516874237,0.10053194134143348,0.11172825962066772,0.0
mentalhealth,marikolytes,2019/02/08,Best thing ever for medication GENOMIND DNA test to show which meds will work with your dna,7.849411764705883,8.399286882352943,6.310588235294119,80.09764705882355,62.529411764705884,9.15294117647059,28.764705882352942,8.841846274778883,1.938576470588236,75,2,14,1,1,22,16,17,0.0,0.792,0.208,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4629063668507952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39899945404125137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4899617408652464,0.4443610093168959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930466895244148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211254503301291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Treebeard5555,2019/02/08,"Confused thinking I suffer with a form of OCD called pure-O I tend to have alot of sexual obessions. In the midst of stress and as a way to seek resurance I went back in my mind to the moment this obession began when I was 18 (now 27). I replayed in my mind the events of that day as I way I think of reassuring myself that this obession was a manifestation of OCD rather than the ""truth"" about my characther. 

I'm worried by doing this in some mystical way I have regressed to my 18 year old mindset, is this even possible from a magickal point of view? I know this is not really possible but it just feels that way. Is this even possible or should I seek medical help. I feel the need to review and replay in my mind a more recent obession so I can ""return"" into my current 27 year old self. 

I have been under a lot of stress recently. I lost my dad last november, moved countries, been grafting, going to interviews trying to find a job. I have the support of my girlfriend but noone else out here, I feel very lonely, confused and hoplessly lost. 

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mentalhealth,maco299,2019/02/08,How do you meditate? Title says it all. What’s going through your mind? Where are you? Do you use music or a guide? Basically what is your individual style of meditation?,0.9597916666666676,3.2734570625000003,3.821250000000002,77.16541666666669,103.375,7.133333333333333,20.95833333333333,7.793537801064563,1.9073583333333337,134,5,25,4,6,47,27,32,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,1,5,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,0,19,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445417775288954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6121324492102286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4821086401326082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5235991666061008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chriswalker1534,2019/02/08,"Need someone’s insight Okay so this is my first post and I don’t really understand a lot about myself. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ptsd and also suffer from hallucinations(unknown reason why at the moment(told could potentially be schizophrenia or brain damage)). Anyway I haven’t told anyone this but I don’t understand it. Sometimes just randomly I feel a pit in my stomach and just feel completely emotionless, I feel violent though and disgusting and extremely violent images almost flood my mind. It usually centres on I killing myself or harming/killing others in grotesque fashion. It recently happened last night when I had an argument with my mother and started crying afterwards. I felt the change and just started laughing(maybe more like giggling)and then it went few minutes later. The best way to describe the feeling is cold, dark and empty. Almost like I become a shell of a myself just filled with violent fantasies. I’m scared about telling my therapist and my family. There’s other mental stuff that I haven’t told anyone yet and at times feel I need to a hospital or something similar. I just need someone’s opinion/insight on what I should do and what they think it may be. Thank you

Here’s a poem I wrote about it:

Darkness takes hold,
Soul grows cold,
Mind goes numb,
Heart turns to stone,
No fear, no care,
Evil intent, empty stare,
Violence aggression, 
Poisoned mind bending. 

I was always here,
Nothing no one can do,
Can’t separate you from you,
You from I, that’s suicide,
You take the wheel but I’m the one that drives,
Cold hearted ruthless monster,
I’m the real you. You’re the imposter. 

Nightmarish dreams while heaven screams and the devil beams. ",4.9541288863764805,7.758556813114757,5.070412662521203,77.44262295081968,72.672131147541,8.141322781232336,30.84511023176936,8.939507131559953,3.0860401356698706,1368,62,218,30,29,428,181,305,0.278,0.634,0.087,-0.9973,0,0,1,0,0,2,45.0,0,6,1,2,17,23,8,2,16,1,18,7,4,2,0,53,45,23,2,5,10,1,6,2,0,2,3,1,0,0,16,15,0,1,11,2,0,4,8,16,0,3,8,11,32,7,19,32,4,27,3,3,1,0,12,7,0,8,16,144,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018567743983652,0.0,0.0,0.08060313317746286,0.08386681766445997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710541967950814,0.0,0.0,0.14095188269634232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131657889899284,0.0,0.0,0.1057747326084403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251693676867973,0.0,0.0,0.10276391561739344,0.0,0.1066243164061592,0.0,0.10567824156344104,0.0,0.0,0.08047401798177607,0.0,0.11071501433553133,0.0,0.0,0.08681179424916609,0.102301513633887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501750005432134,0.11341875053974335,0.25481670876731577,0.0,0.09677589480273813,0.0,0.0,0.0857334186310507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912981952558717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388774391803663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151114768164956,0.0,0.0,0.08215873600055464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848352442052634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568954906957743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125886914846834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157438649674788,0.0,0.3053128319657365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224207436290366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945862379068768,0.0,0.09671241103355076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365982086840519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653064361089968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782017242828255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472308775270205,0.06456978167198361,0.10363071499318703,0.099519702305592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091013392364584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080106046910692,0.0775944202412148,0.0996856267909396,0.0,0.14268185144385254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538244972373275,0.11024982507242047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515657180076328,0.0,0.08809643985541449,0.09279550979546262,0.0,0.11702700060731785,0.0,0.06458328931042516,0.09902739137177473,0.0,0.058772485160584274,0.0,0.0,0.2889325348953472,0.0,0.0,0.10963249060129704,0.0,0.2098555512548866,0.0,0.0,0.11100788267617498,0.0,0.0,0.08000380674480499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343497028994482,0.09094888525223943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kweenijo,2019/02/08,"How do you find help? I know I should get professional help, but I don't know where to start. I'm quite an anxious person and all of this stresses me out a lot. How do I find the right psychologist? 
Any advice? Thanks

My situation:
I don't know what to do with my life.
It's like nothing makes me happy, I have no reason to be depressed but still I feel empty, useless,... I have a wonderful girlfriend and this week I got back some great results for my exams in my first year at university. I have no reason to feel bad, I should be out partying and living my life. Still I'm here writing this, because honestly I'm losing hope.
I don't know how to be happy.",0.5171323529411751,2.811014977941177,2.7352941176470607,90.59132352941177,86.72058823529413,5.458823529411767,20.264705882352946,6.9077264865688965,0.4231852941176477,511,16,110,7,16,173,79,136,0.221,0.581,0.198,-0.5929,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,3,8,12,0,1,4,0,14,2,0,7,1,31,30,8,0,3,2,0,2,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,11,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,1,2,20,7,12,24,3,13,0,3,0,0,6,6,0,4,8,74,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349372217615022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985858310375796,0.0,0.0,0.16589130387709072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291355078481095,0.12260814909301865,0.08951440562710053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126476050374239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849692336390066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684245103874469,0.12490496559044052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767196431353319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744412328331776,0.16189542466616658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126351712304188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968521416237438,0.0,0.0,0.14584868145285138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228052845885039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074397462039224,0.07174029348991791,0.0,0.12966545875974642,0.0,0.0,0.16428026212728586,0.0,0.12484105205294507,0.0,0.0,0.09801914473039673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409002529608582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821803861353567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618608693774816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019590516048488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254035060045964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505819298916213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393655140283968,0.0,0.23453874153287846,0.0,0.1682086785839002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351937219234109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778896004912814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592454601978651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456236888936534
mentalhealth,lms-617,2019/02/08,"confused and lost right now so. 
I quit my job back in September, I dont really remember why. since then, I've been lost in this feeling of being completely lost. I have no idea how I'm supposed to get my life together, and the more I think about it the more it puts me deeper in this hole I've dug. I want to work, but I'm scared I'm gonna bail on it soon after. my parents want me to do something but I just have this irrational fear of fucking it up. bad enough to where I wont leave my house for weeks. I've been trying to get my parents to realize that I'm not well and that I'm not happy anymore. my rant is kinda everywhere, and I hope it makes some sense. but I just dont know how to get my shit back together. for right now I'm just absolutely miserable. is this something I need to tell a psychologist or a therapist? is what I'm feeling worthy of treatment? and would it actually help get my life back on track? ",2.350879864636209,3.4361681827411203,4.2670253807106615,87.86202707275804,75.29441624365481,8.095972927241963,25.3160744500846,8.648137234880735,1.5372892724196277,720,24,165,14,15,246,104,197,0.212,0.705,0.084,-0.9835,3,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,5,15,13,2,4,4,0,13,4,1,3,0,32,38,13,0,5,9,2,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,13,5,0,0,7,0,0,1,6,10,1,0,5,2,20,3,21,29,4,19,0,4,0,1,4,9,2,5,9,102,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.11756761996140365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948024884522175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27791682191212025,0.1005927894972752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263172481496566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28239496511997464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448436097427312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355694818989971,0.12183300917139794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113785212497683,0.2517758556607377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824940349261346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075281370336174,0.0,0.0,0.1196602821294626,0.0,0.13901362854676913,0.0,0.13600322874810006,0.0,0.0,0.11955427022658492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621069700796167,0.0,0.0,0.1275671474356098,0.0,0.0,0.1701921354952379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39454277592475934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041895473919347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933174873683777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26754964349873983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111209127555014,0.0,0.12814151654644484,0.0,0.0,0.0771802881441087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136476313446062,0.2057724315236228,0.0,0.0,0.12061792701193012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366732748436553,0.09965935059066523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18549728859283104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053017129135068,0.0,0.0,0.13988242477568374,0.0,0.07719643383021865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179558992646882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421202435881914,0.0,0.09663892776275164,0.0,0.108322782170114,0.0,0.10871124213819378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770827830609502,0.0,0.0,0.08558300157497142,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,techtech83,2019/02/08,"Childhood abuse lead to adult dysfunctions Hello, I am not sure this is the right place for this but here I go. I am a 35 year old man who has not fully dealt with the abuses I suffered as a child at the hands of my mother and her husband. I have tried counseling with my local counselor, and told my story. Afterwards, I was congratulated on surviving it. Well this didn't help my problems now. I opened up to my wife and explained everything that had happened to me, she supported and suggested the counseling. Well last night I opened up and expressed my deep seated sexual desires to be completely dominated, used, abused, and owned by a woman. She did not take that well and got angry at my mother, and at me for not telling her this sooner. Her first reaction was a very strong ""you need to go back to counseling"". The way she handled it hurt me and I told her that, she didn't understand why and was still angry that I hadn't told her this earlier and demanded that I tell her any other deep seated desires or secrets then and there.  At this point , and this is a ""known issue"" with me I clammed up and stopped communicating, instead retreated inside my head with feeling of unworthiness and shame. She told me she loves me and that she isn't going to leave me, which I was afraid was going to happen, but I feel like I don't know what to do or how to act now around her. I feel like it was a mistake telling her about it. She wants me to seek professional help, but I don't know where to go and even with my insurance I don't feel I can afford to see some one that might actually be able to help. So I am turning to the internet, and the glorious people of reddit in hope of an answer or suggestion of what direction to take.

Thank you for listening.",5.13938265173222,5.600783595988538,5.8793396717895305,81.16550078145353,68.34097421203438,9.554623599895805,29.33068507423809,9.573946990214177,2.4342767908309457,1381,47,282,28,22,452,172,349,0.141,0.74,0.12,-0.8485,1,0,0,0,3,0,35.0,0,2,0,4,16,17,0,2,14,0,27,3,2,3,1,61,59,28,0,7,10,4,5,2,0,1,0,1,0,4,23,26,0,1,11,0,0,7,11,6,3,2,16,7,55,11,42,40,2,40,0,2,1,1,45,19,0,6,15,208,78,2,0.09942440895194518,0.3534049998251688,0.09702388099368336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761200749558058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885088031660149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645123338153953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424460115757478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566888441882654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935624784311044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201087874141344,0.1420576352424118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457035146354172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825259142189694,0.0,0.07951878243147976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758413529641043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203812752737283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999262566316863,0.0,0.0,0.09875087185409534,0.0,0.0,0.10643588612759423,0.0,0.0,0.10377325167343128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109282109974128,0.08104416329492739,0.0,0.10527609332875444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714748818607948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973441086722443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547358598895147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372193943575595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330307260722737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043291922092802,0.0,0.0673725526297662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689283664667086,0.0,0.10387734594804643,0.0,0.0939882032686002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513573180728548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490790199922013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922838141307914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940046142076819,0.08312325781415618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282564104611573,0.09370632879766007,0.0,0.14950956402299792,0.0,0.2607039471966473,0.09153663767233147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3800171339720992,0.0,0.06750264728876193,0.10814520650197357,0.0,0.10350431610908194,0.0,0.08587076684323007,0.0,0.08203554995180394,0.0586430923974679,0.0789184680007494,0.0,0.0,0.2681834521178908,0.0,0.08971506460158232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402605960775963
mentalhealth,introvertV,2019/02/08,"I had one panic attack at work and now I’m treated like a basket case. Ok, maybe I need some advice and a place to vent. I started my job three years ago and I absolutely loved it. I got along with my 40 new coworkers. Since all was well, my depression and anxiety would rarely show it’s face at work. Everyone knows I have anxiety because my anxiety is unfortunately apparent but never so bad that it’s a major issue. 

Well, last year, a new guy, Paul* was hired in a department right next to mine but we all share the same area. We started seeing each other. Long story short, he completely ghosted me after two months to start dating his boss. His boss is 6 years older than me and she is a “mean girl.” We used to be close, but she’d talk crap about all the younger girls at work and how I was the least annoying 🙄. She’s a heavy set girl who hides her insecurities by bashing other girls frequently. Anyway, i think she knows now that I had hooked up with Paul a few times because now she’s extra nice to me but has been extra clingy with Paul when I walk by. And she’ll talk about how amazing he treats her when I’m within earshot. And everyone at work gossips and I had told a couple of people that he and I dated. 

I was devastated when he blew me off for her. I really liked him a lot.  I’d have panic attacks at work almost every day because I’d see them sneak to an area behind our building where he and I used to make out. When I’d feel an attack coming on, I’d hide in the bathroom and not let anyone see me. It’s been two months, and for the most part, I’m over him. But the panic attacks will not go away. My boss caught me having one in December. But Last week , I had one so bad that I started crying and trembling so bad in front of my boss. I couldn’t talk or breathe! She was really scared seeing me that way. I have no idea what bought on my attack. It happened on its own. Now, she’s not giving me any work. She doesn’t want me to be seen in front of higher ups (she’ll ask another assistant to sit at my desk and she’ll tell me to go wait in another office when the VP or CEO comes to visit) and lately, all her phone calls have been her whispering. She never cared if I heard her on her phone calls BEFORE. I kinda overheard her saying I can’t handle being in front of people... which is false!!!  I was always a great communicator in front of customers/staff.  

I don’t know if I should look for another job where I’m not treated like a basket case, or if I should suck it up. 

I told her today that I’m an individual and not just a person with anxiety and she kinda didn’t take me serious. She just nodded and went on her way. 😔

Would you stick it out? How do I get them to take me seriously again? 

Sorry so long. 
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mentalhealth,badabingbadaboom55,2019/02/08,"Any medical professionals! I am a 30yr old male, I suffer with moderate anxiety and depression that had started to interfere with my working life. Take venlafaxine and quetiapine, have been on 75% of antidepressants. What can I do as it's hard to admit I'm struggling to my loved ones?",5.812115384615384,7.817210596153848,7.180000000000002,66.74000000000002,68.03846153846153,12.123076923076924,36.07692307692308,11.698219412168324,5.2511,229,12,38,9,4,78,44,52,0.231,0.6709999999999999,0.098,-0.7712,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,6,3,0,0,0,6,11,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,1,5,1,8,9,0,3,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,26,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22456996763877188,0.0,0.2526275700001829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284429456705897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29582417165335245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23325354538430654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980484456973718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33267530663949546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.346524296290843,0.0,0.2237746300432953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23374082887565895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452315456608705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482943429576926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404137748776595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alsamal,2019/02/08,"Why do people think this is ok to say Why do people continue to think this is ok to say? This is ridiculously insensitive. How do we change people from being so judgemental about issues like this?

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[https://clips.twitch.tv/ProductivePiercingQueleaWholeWheat](https://clips.twitch.tv/ProductivePiercingQueleaWholeWheat)

​",17.30625,23.864687125,9.360000000000003,42.20500000000001,52.75,8.200000000000001,25.5,8.841846274778883,2.8621000000000003,295,7,28,5,5,74,24,40,0.092,0.752,0.156,0.4515,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,4,9,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,3,5,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.391041369511582,0.4385401465505408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19089528298035646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883459858851004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816019129982072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753100416996636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870068409756517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312539147590477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256614208120973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385401465505408,0.0
mentalhealth,GutsAndBrainMatter,2019/02/08,"Do I have a normal mind or should I check up with a shrink? I have what I believe to be a very morbid mind but I don't know if other people think like this privately. I have constant anger and thoughts of hurting others everyday. I think of ways to torture certain people and inflict emotional pain on their loved ones. I have been thinking of for a couple of weeks ways to torture my ex's new boyfriend (she cheated on me with him so might explain how I am thinking). I have thought of extremely slow and painful ways to murder him while I make her watch. When I get these thoughts I become very angry and often end up hitting things my walls already have a fair amount of holes in them from my outbursts and I believe I should go to anger counseling at the very least. My mind gets very caught up in all of these thoughts but it doesn't help that I have a feeling of boredom at all times. Sports, Video games, TV, going out with friends, drinking, drugs and partying none of it is fun and I find it extremely boring to do any of it. I do feel a bit of adrenaline and fun when I get into a fight or go boxing and it is honestly the only thing I have found fun in the last couple years. I feel no remorse for hurting others and it concerns me that fighting is the only thing that makes me feel something other than boredom. I have had these thoughts long before my ex-gf and I wonder if I should seek help or if deep down I am normal. ",4.10231958762887,4.957705718213063,4.520238831615122,88.56984278350517,70.85567010309279,7.057113402061857,28.6393470790378,6.961326702584282,1.3428802749140891,1128,41,235,9,20,356,150,291,0.231,0.645,0.124,-0.9911,0,0,3,0,3,0,20.0,0,0,2,0,5,21,8,0,12,0,26,5,0,3,3,58,54,24,1,8,8,1,4,1,1,4,3,0,0,0,21,16,1,0,18,5,1,4,4,13,0,1,9,5,39,8,37,39,6,35,0,2,1,1,15,15,0,9,14,166,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349365233193714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377675271849145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035777365597958,0.07980379793353512,0.21132628586353264,0.0,0.0,0.10238850718079516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134784884761287,0.0,0.0,0.2075417805127479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187321637345312,0.10876037620930028,0.0,0.0,0.10549506634132001,0.08306533019695726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968127258516773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571743705182862,0.0,0.0,0.10282998721988157,0.07245775920999331,0.0,0.1469957681196712,0.0,0.15989987017220314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572369813617454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007967354135076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05154157051785895,0.0764469767012239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045818424572522436,0.0,0.0,0.08299643110235902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464427465184436,0.0,0.12520391459296165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949065352614464,0.2840871718341892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057776345553298,0.0,0.0,0.18377801637943889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355088080120988,0.14265484826871386,0.19958688066175206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003688386930906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219997683855651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691898841828397,0.2403735721138234,0.0,0.37227253361947055,0.054686561922202434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095285099318275,0.0,0.22332558098951427,0.07522835939115995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170541200278066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06039421579680779
mentalhealth,tempreclude,2019/02/08,"Is GAD real? Hello, tempreclude here. New to Reddit, so im not sure how this all works.

Recently I learned that I have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) on top of my depression. If I remember correctly from my studies, a disorder is by definition something that affects your everyday life and my anxiety DOES do that — ive been stuck at the same job for three years and still dont know how to drive at age 26 because of it. 

A bit of background info: I grew up very sheltered and privileged and my parents have always fed this narrative to me about how shitty people, how people will use you whenever they can, how people only care about themselves, etc. And even though ive met some wonderful people in life, its hard to shake the narrative that was fed to me for so many years and the constant anxiety I have because of it.

Im wary about the possibility of me being misdiagnosed with GAD and being prescribed anxiety meds because man, I dont want to rely on another pill. Does anyone have any good, reliable information sources on GAD that go into the neurology behind it? ",6.866018062397371,7.215083906403941,7.806514778325122,69.22418924466342,64.61576354679804,11.692775041050904,36.12848932676519,11.374738998889045,4.428097208538588,855,39,149,25,12,289,124,203,0.133,0.7979999999999999,0.069,-0.8245,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,1,2,14,6,0,1,7,0,17,6,0,7,3,32,27,16,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,11,9,2,0,6,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,6,1,18,4,28,18,5,21,0,1,0,0,8,9,0,3,8,104,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902466216849028,0.0,0.0,0.08092990722984797,0.12479086011494893,0.3641649151716203,0.0,0.0,0.08321355784513564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21763955539832608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992653332664653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213371665995138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860598345898305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250190524883927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27278825873459683,0.0,0.20829039971407312,0.0,0.27895431077478594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327260118341686,0.0786040367792751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763531175808887,0.09981874053013416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660830127901318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570993508642349,0.0,0.11809764043445595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540399663969684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811854218503192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206560088367732,0.0,0.0,0.13219169050667562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493921658099727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051137870906112,0.0,0.0,0.13214493106936692,0.0,0.0,0.33002222594975106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416427907423692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545780469564134,0.0,0.0,0.11750660361703645,0.0,0.1348135082304165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161860989274527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504039614871536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216416694830368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692531383806624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278519233189112,0.0,0.09819453220026064,0.07019433682262277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905971544976455,0.08663965490222279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327523190869305
mentalhealth,Visual_Opportunity,2019/02/08,"I just got out of a Partial Hospitalization Program and all I can think about is harming myself to find a way back in. I am going on 30 but I have had major depression and suicidal thoughts since I was about 15.  I've spent my entire adult life ""managing"" my depression by suppressing all emotions under a cloud of ""I don't care"".  Not just happy or sad but really anything in life.  If you asked me for my opinion on any topic I'd probably say I don't care.  Naturally I've completely isolated myself from any real human connections on an emotional level, even my family.


So, I start PHP and opened up a lot to the therapists there, and surprisingly in the group therapy settings as well.  After holding every thing in for so long and lacking real emotional connection it makes sense that it would feel really good to open up towards people who seem like they care and or people who can relate with me.  I would say 2 weeks of PHP was life changing for me, the entire experience of therapy as well as everything I learned CBT/DBT wise and coping skills, etc.


Now, I am about two weeks out and I have continued going to IOP as well as seen an individual therapist but it's all at a different facility, different staff, and I'm just not feeling the same connection here.


I think what I have realized is I didn't learn coping skills in PHP.. they WERE my coping skills.  I am craving that feeling of being able to talk to them again.  I am having increasingly frequent thoughts (fantasies even) about how awesome it would be if I killed myself so I could go back there and see them.  Which, if you stop to think about it for even more than half a second, doesn't even make sense lol.  I don't feel like I have any intentions of actually hurting myself right now but I spend most of my days lately daydreaming about how I can go back.


WTF is wrong with me?  I have no idea how to get over this.",4.93040650406504,5.889321845528457,5.995668292682929,78.36579512195122,69.02710027100271,9.698037940379406,29.123143631436314,9.888512548439397,2.7389424607046067,1487,53,288,35,25,495,193,369,0.163,0.74,0.096,-0.9851,2,0,0,0,0,1,36.0,0,2,4,3,31,19,1,0,12,1,31,3,0,6,3,68,58,30,2,8,14,0,4,2,0,3,3,2,0,2,13,16,0,3,15,1,2,5,8,7,3,3,10,8,44,12,52,42,11,43,0,4,2,0,15,20,0,9,18,211,57,5,0.08583252760716037,0.0,0.08376016545362869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751071862869671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063285681537226,0.0,0.08024182677316367,0.0,0.0,0.1979997468124975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26253594700078514,0.0,0.09079943322136452,0.0,0.08999377216393202,0.0,0.0,0.06853028903798036,0.0,0.0,0.05535487955877538,0.0,0.14785486051282495,0.0,0.0,0.17935344565444974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896501224470374,0.0,0.0,0.0957259570859868,0.2267662999147284,0.0,0.07231760643559312,0.0,0.07714074129998626,0.08396068197055727,0.08091526812869654,0.0,0.17359801974829256,0.061318774872705324,0.0,0.0,0.07844937524559792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04484395306780807,0.0,0.19512241380209666,0.07199225186019641,0.06864811327806472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137032168718774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188549603402572,0.09689447609731608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949609746503638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682282974262636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818781578550379,0.08386687484084679,0.0,0.0,0.07595908594020984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297174557137405,0.0,0.0,0.11458775735655882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901093463939537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254198199154587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19539241509732164,0.10997303010525447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330050959555184,0.0,0.13651494203722736,0.0,0.0,0.06839741172809559,0.07813870948927018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100155380550963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060752704817943225,0.0,0.0,0.071759836405757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388685401927784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898893441227559,0.0,0.0,0.19631395139548533,0.19931636018680116,0.05702331741474107,0.16499405377531506,0.0,0.1362828786674288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384590751814079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812986523926025,0.13769935261642094,0.0,0.23152125117302075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829188948698061,0.09384439472251144,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zheatherz,2019/02/08,"Extreme downward spiralling on a daily basis - don't know what's happening to me The only time I've seen a GP about any mental health related issue was when I was making myself throw up multiple times a day, this had gone on for a year by then and I was laughed out of the office.


I grew up in a family that rolled their eyes at mental health and find it very hard to talk about with people in person.


For the last two week, I've had almost daily occurrences where something small causes a completely disproportionate reaction in me. 
These episodes involve hysterical crying for 2-4 hours, shaking, feelings of intense desperation and needing to find a way of lashing out and feeling totally out of control. 
My left arm is covered in cuts from the past 10 days. I'm ashamed to say I've made suicide threats which was really me thinking out loud. 

I really don't recognise myself during these patches and feel like I'm stuck in the back of my head watching it all happen screaming ""PLEASE JUST STOP. YOURE RUINING EVERYTHING""


I'm scared my partner will leave me if I don't fix this and I really don't think I can take these intense episodes anymore.

Life if a little stressful at the moment, granted, but ive been stressed before and never experienced anything like this.


Worth noting that the rest of the day I'm sunny and pretty much carefree. And then I crash.


I'm not looking for anyone online to diagnose me, but I'm desperate for a point in the direction of where I could look into. ",5.684722171281862,6.661300780487808,6.212550889418669,77.42580597836057,67.32752613240417,8.829561709150926,32.178433889602054,8.99025400887824,2.7979519163763067,1192,49,212,20,19,387,175,287,0.131,0.77,0.098,-0.5543,0,0,1,0,0,1,23.0,0,1,1,1,7,12,2,5,18,0,16,7,3,4,3,40,39,16,1,4,6,0,4,2,1,1,4,3,0,2,12,15,0,2,8,0,1,4,6,9,0,1,11,13,22,3,39,26,4,46,1,1,5,0,7,24,0,3,19,133,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450572249848888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776240701340835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340518168504275,0.0799566782624544,0.0,0.09410089460055884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879286408894299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730403558668582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174696829949335,0.0,0.0,0.11989454838618145,0.0,0.12825404958596678,0.09129974060889663,0.0,0.1256088902213553,0.2212402522781705,0.0,0.0,0.11606356800509847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277104868423162,0.0,0.1077996765394502,0.0,0.17345747109486054,0.08169217318243945,0.0,0.0,0.20902896256233766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022399181073992,0.0,0.10243577929135676,0.0,0.11735682310850305,0.24309892415443285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126124194408192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935243653668602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284416207910748,0.09321109438457674,0.0,0.1210808955605596,0.12424238573067012,0.0,0.08076929130021117,0.1117319659107886,0.11460945679268365,0.0,0.0,0.19205160018707987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820141080581347,0.0763299897787599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23047724898639935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406093241159375,0.08478960576042374,0.08819432040728961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696887110631593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916069590337453,0.07927638723497325,0.09984663306074336,0.0,0.12552274548501705,0.10809838648127076,0.0,0.0,0.11633578632131683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21976798719657087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093627775544497,0.11448501371118627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803276657970442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560231748550573,0.26197671388222576,0.0,0.0,0.12508112163068194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859775060717842,0.0919107726692082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465426409564,0.0,0.0,0.13335764224713426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170403211463516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435131511718456,0.0,0.09076627446611538,0.09172524552555664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363811090816652
mentalhealth,jonnymoon94,2019/02/08,"Anxiety over leaking roof???? So my father doesn't have the best mental health. Hes done a lot of night shift work along with him being naturally pessimistic. Lately I've found hes gotten worse as in he get stressed out real easy

In the UK at the moment we're having a lot of rain. Hes obsessing with the idea that our roof is going to have a leak. We've had people come and look at our roof and they've assured us it is fine but he still loses his shit if we get heavy rain and he constantly checks for weather updates 

I work with people with mental health conditions myself but I'm struggling to find a solution for this

Can anyone help?

Thanks ",1.6604220779220782,4.001478916666667,2.9265367965367983,90.87409090909094,81.8030303030303,5.58961038961039,19.277056277056275,6.868970318607317,0.2572147186147187,515,13,105,6,14,166,90,132,0.175,0.716,0.109,-0.8173,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,4,0,0,4,2,9,1,3,8,0,13,3,1,0,1,21,22,8,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,11,0,0,3,0,1,2,1,5,0,0,4,1,12,4,18,17,3,14,0,1,1,0,14,6,1,3,6,62,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230365868737614,0.0,0.0,0.11245797398206557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16878401196337625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854314300270634,0.0,0.17380302821187107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16458770752781668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469981879197938,0.0,0.0,0.17634477073781896,0.0,0.0,0.1680569110841444,0.0,0.0914049384129858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34191531066223346,0.0,0.0,0.1078027787591122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18156055878268426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18142630807287968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350589739743755,0.17993066884125414,0.0,0.273468445982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241630972323853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093060806443626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230023079197665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306284060681635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509247087662454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844121407749934,0.0,0.1842333318110633,0.16813727440451526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807315555638834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19346195351949247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23417626427996485,0.0,0.1639022770644546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,otpancake,2019/02/08,"I had two great weeks full of wins, and 2 months of doing a good job keeping my anxiety attacks at bay. Tonight I had a massive panic attack. But this doesn't mean I am not getting better ! My job sent me home early, I was shaking for 20 minutes, certain that I was going to throw up any minute, vision getting blurrier and blurrier. It was a mess and I hadn't had an attack this intense since a few months back. So I was scared it would get worse and so I popped a Temesta. Just 1mg didn't do much, but allowed my body to stop tensing so much. 

Just wanted to post to say that recovery isn't like a snapchat streak : if you miss one day you don't loose all the progress you've made. Progress is not linear. I had a lot on my plate this week, this is just a reaction to the stress. And look hey, I survived yet another hardcore panic attack, that goes into the ""things I know I can survive"" box for later :) ",2.9047746371275807,4.025686005347598,4.0064514896867855,90.1288368983957,73.97326203208556,6.626279602750191,26.72612681436211,6.868970318607317,1.0551592055003822,701,25,152,6,14,228,117,187,0.202,0.652,0.145,-0.821,3,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,6,8,17,4,5,12,0,20,1,1,2,2,25,32,11,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,10,6,0,2,2,0,0,4,7,11,0,2,12,2,19,6,13,19,6,21,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,2,12,100,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626294592477411,0.13301420434634684,0.09704057331961076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5772447392426759,0.0,0.09754049399442992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218929184084503,0.0,0.14090272731310108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180832123403993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19882304218981195,0.0,0.0720922763969443,0.10639649681266783,0.0,0.13985353916883592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724177192200714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517598430381898,0.11275088748265903,0.0,0.0,0.0697139242897026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061972930774693936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652278805392314,0.0,0.0,0.10784407897361642,0.0,0.12002936647417255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381777921218248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20250231879542727,0.0,0.18649997975903895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859574368457467,0.0,0.0,0.29766434405903963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148807487007615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087690841752874,0.12699985669505096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493235588507896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060530127637802,0.14530725045120968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427408579116352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239148741913623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481993355507105,0.0,0.20350424320953425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927188033136405,0.09011122313914956,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ComfortableSample,2019/02/08,"Resentment/Little kids pouting Hello, I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time and things are improving for me. Many of my friends also are suffering from the same problems and I’m taking notice of common behaviours amongst them and myself. It’s as if we’re all acting like little pouting kids that are mad things aren’t going our way. We resent people talking to us and are very closed in on our own worldview. It’s as if it’s a lack of consciousness and self esteem.  Everything has to do with ourselves all the time and we resent or dismiss anyone else. Has anyone else noticed similar behaviours or can shed any light on why this may be?",4.6071428571428585,6.490374793650794,5.2446349206349225,79.90314285714291,70.90476190476191,8.214603174603175,28.473015873015875,8.841846274778883,2.438545396825397,528,20,92,10,10,170,86,126,0.151,0.787,0.063,-0.8658,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,5,0,1,0,1,8,3,0,4,0,11,0,0,0,2,23,14,14,0,4,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,7,12,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,0,1,9,2,15,12,5,12,0,2,0,0,12,5,0,5,5,63,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566107547947445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153610416672998,0.0,0.1297741631952224,0.0,0.0,0.23723251496120584,0.3476325279754993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611071440877493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28342496464528444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246152588113024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106347098352125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641034180041727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287755272789653,0.34004776416572685,0.0,0.15012609357673312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17198837042155393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862726106468951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760704127213845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232260404021712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697155463842615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754819508978688,0.13635023506587207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254026040544933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783693837141444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20405607605049145,0.0,0.0,0.13997079582067573,0.0,0.13465236446276208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307374664720802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vogel777,2019/02/08,"How to move beyond the trauma of a past breakdown? Over 10 years ago I suffered from total burnout, a mental breakdown which seriously damaged my mental health, my self image / belief and has left me with an almost ptsd type response to anything which generates stress. After this happened I was floored for a couple of years then even when I felt a bit better physically I still didn't have much insight into my situation and what led to my breakdown. Now after a lot of personal self work and sorting out my past I can see that why this happened to me and that it would have happened to pretty much anyone in my situation and that I no longer need to see my breakdown as evidence that I am incapable of achieving anything. However while I understand this now mentally, emotionally or subconsciously I still suffer from overwhelming anxiety, panic and self doubt whenever I attempt to work on any goal that is meaningful to me. I feel like I am in a prison of my past pain and I can't get out.

​

Is their any practice or self help I can use to help me reprogramme my subconcious mind such as tapping or hypnosis for example any suggestions would be great!",9.71435779816514,8.114551903669723,9.367045871559633,66.7336880733945,59.779816513761475,12.756697247706425,41.524770642201844,11.602472056035307,4.881015045871559,937,43,160,22,10,304,128,218,0.155,0.757,0.08800000000000001,-0.9286,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,7,9,13,0,4,8,0,15,2,0,3,1,32,26,16,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,5,12,11,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,10,0,0,3,4,28,3,31,20,5,27,1,4,2,0,9,10,0,7,16,119,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898732820839236,0.0,0.1005234294917586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876965112294304,0.12198161745209884,0.2048005200427851,0.0,0.07679604751128198,0.0,0.0,0.07019316881579549,0.0,0.16522046998333234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878445264425787,0.10959698543861142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110766927024088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129222562961993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630489749661853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05075886015406516,0.07171674246273461,0.09638759825326604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05244824672135626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067740710122526,0.0,0.0,0.2663166045944533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670705807774364,0.0,0.0,0.13457504844355414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907114884192544,0.0,0.0,0.0490441881511946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534573456600343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035005104864243,0.0,0.1013626056676795,0.0,0.0,0.10669586536152624,0.14759250503659055,0.07443594756938411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681921758561794,0.1177829248467196,0.0,0.0,0.2874932521750338,0.0,0.08765436136699269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213002423344836,0.0,0.0,0.11734743935249585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999144054017664,0.0,0.41890359632566215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256791735593977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033893379735673,0.0,0.11499336955308095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450677106527456,0.0,0.08670243820776849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058396857134736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461663719273239,0.0,0.0,0.14262458550614052,0.0,0.12198161745209884,0.12929232335756954
mentalhealth,ninjafairies123,2019/02/08,"Feel down for missing class thing So, I scheduled a class trip thing that I need to do for a grade and really needed to be committed to but after much anxiety over what I had to do for the trip and how far away it was (I have a toxic family and financial issues as a result of that so can't afford much gas) the teacher finally just said to not go and to meet up with her to go over my concerns. I've really been meaning to try and get some accommodations for my classes for my anxiety, but the school therapist has been slow to help me out with it and I just have so much to do that I haven't had enough time to look into it much... there's only so much a person can do in a week ... >< I'm just trying my best but now I feel really upset and worried that I couldn't make the trip, like I'm just faking my anxiety so I don't have to go, but I really am quite anxious..... If anyone could help me out with this situation I'd be so happy to hear your advice/thoughts. Thank you <3",4.415884676145339,3.806583696682466,6.0874052132701415,82.73673183254346,69.85308056872037,9.687361769352293,26.114139020537124,9.2995712137729,1.758677409162718,764,18,174,14,12,265,111,211,0.084,0.79,0.126,0.9198,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,2,13,7,0,1,10,0,22,0,0,3,1,35,39,20,0,5,10,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,11,13,0,0,3,0,0,6,5,3,0,0,6,5,20,4,33,29,8,23,0,1,1,0,9,10,0,2,8,130,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931984165069447,0.14432764277472224,0.0,0.08932979675103045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003074049050202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407178654949262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200257751133072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200584970650972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043675905953415,0.0,0.1291943001683171,0.0,0.0,0.13995018868824205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667471108458114,0.0,0.21781962491449386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599838043828066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439900247360605,0.0,0.17126398377554902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334381979408588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241501036749938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728266095615173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527796077975222,0.0,0.0,0.13916347379465144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4695759109940338,0.18945855215036667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716401116730544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155140047606488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358839748383341,0.0,0.0,0.3273744408476148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152498202414252,0.0,0.0,0.1292956480673969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360282521156792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762033781833325,0.0,0.1483342822905862,0.1697504982454327,0.0,0.0,0.10142380172245777,0.0744954101146488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347554770707685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247796328957724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974217407950553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrashLioness,2019/02/08,"I really need to talk with someone I feel lonely. 

All the time. 

I don't feel happy either. 

I'm not really good at anything. 

It's a rarity for me to feel comfort at times in my own home. All I hear is yelling in this house. Either by my mother or my parents not shutting up about our pets. Just so much yelling. They call my dog bad things and constantly yell at him and our cats that they proclaim are only mine, even when we rescued and raised them together. 

I get anxious all the time and others are inpatient with my anxiety and I'll sometimes get yelled at for it. Even over the littlest things. 
Even just as small as cooking an egg. It's a force that greatly impacts me and I have tried to control it. 

I feel constantly being watched and it causes my anxiousness, so I have to distract myself with something like listening to music or watching YouTube. I have no hobbies at all. 
I can't go outside due to my parents restrictions on getting kidnapped and what not. Can't even go outside for a walk in this run down neighborhood. My grandparents argue a lot and there's not much to there either, so going next door won't really do anything. 

Being around people and my friends makes me feel less alone and more ""alive"" because I trust them with not being judged and to be instead listened to. However, I don't even safe in my own home to text my friends about my situations because of an incident where my mother took my phone and looked through my business and shamed me for ""making her look bad"" When that wasn't my intention. She deleted half of my photos and my YouTube account. As well as my journal entries.I can't even Google anything ever since she's see my history of lesbian eroticas; which will hint on what's next. 

I'm gay and she knew even before that incident. She was and is still disapproves of my homosexuality. And has pressured me to come out when she was suspicious of my sexuality. Angrily pressuring me, of course. 

Funny thing is, she said she wouldn't look through my stuff and I trusted her. 

Key word, trusted in past tense. 

I don't know how I feel about her or my father for that matter. I really can't say. 

For years I've felt this way, and I tried to show signs of it, but to no avail. I've talked to my mom about it, and she got mad because she couldn't help me and keeps saying she'll look for a psychotherapist (I've been to therapy before and they stopped taking me ever since).  So far, nothing. 

I can't drive, and they haven't taught me more like they said to would and claimed to look into driving lessons but also nothing. I can't physically escape. 

I had a job but quit because I was not in a healthy position to work. My parents didn't want me to work in the first place, and they thought it didn't make me happy. I told my mom I'll call the manager for myself, but instead she did. I was disappointed, because I wanted to do it regardless of my social anxiety.  Especially with phone calls. She even took the phone out my hand so quickly when I was trying to make a call to a website about my school login. 

I have a huge body image/insecurity problem. I don't like looking into mirrors, I don't like pictures of me, and I don't like how my brain makes me think I look big, even though my mom, who's a fitness professional, says I'm thin as it is. It's a huge factor that lowers my self-esteem. I want to do dancing, but I can't even look in a mirror. I want to do radio station hosting, but can't even stand to hear my own voice. I freak out when I see myself in photos and makes me angry. I don't show it, instead I just curse to myself alone.

 I feel like all the discomfort I've felt can make turn bitter at times, when I'm usually a warm hearted person. I don't like to be interrupted during my ""distractions"". I can snap when I don't mean to and all the hysteria I'm in everyday can really turn you into a different person. My friends even said it was scary to see me like that. I'm scared of that opposite me. That's not me. Not me at all. I'm also afraid. 

I don't want to go to college because I know I'm not for it and I'm not college material at all. I can't even handle a college leveled high school class.I'm shamed for this by my parents because I know college isn't the life for me. There are things I can do that doesn't involve college, just what is it? If I know what it is, I hesitate because of either my insecurity or if it'll ever happen. Just like my dreams. 

I can't stand being in the house anymore and I want to be happy. I'm stressed at school with work, and I still feel streseed at home. Its like I feel pressure anywhere I go regardless. At least in school, I can have fun with people. 

Aside from all that, I do this one thing to make me feel somewhat better. Run. Listen to music
Everyday, I get on the treadmill to run. And listen to music.
They're one of the only things in my house that makes me feel better. When you're running, no one tells you what to do and no assignments to be given. Just run. Running makes me feel free and I've never felt more adrenaline in my life. Running while trying not to break into a dance is hard because last time I did, I fell off the treadmill. Whoops. 

The sweat is like a constant pat on the back and is more comforting than anything. I know people hate to sweat, but it's like a security blanket to me. And the words from my favorite  singers/rappers are embodiments of entertainment and encouragement at times. A constant reminder if you will. 
No breaks, I never stop running. 

Just constant running. 

I don't do it to lose weight, I do it for the good feelings. 

Which is a lot better than my thoughts of drinking, doing drugs or smoking that could make me feel better, but just only hurt me more and others around me as well. I'm glad I didn't make those decisions. Especially the near attempt of suicide. That one I will never forget. 

I feel like there's so many things blocking me and it makes me feel imprisoned in my own mind and body. Like some wild animal. Everything. Everything is in my way and I'm trying to break through. Some nights leave me with puffy eyes and yearning for feelings of happiness. And not this hell I'm in. I don't know what to do. I 
 want to feel better. 

All I can do is run and dwell into music. 

What can I do? 

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mentalhealth,jotodd,2019/02/08,Did i eat too much for dessert? 3 Oreos and 3 Nutella croissants. Now I feel fat! Why did I do it?,-3.0513636363636394,-1.6698947727272715,-0.035909090909092,105.11613636363636,110.36363636363636,2.2,19.13636363636364,3.1291,-1.0108545454545452,73,3,19,0,4,25,18,22,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6277107597912241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101778932087327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4509550857396717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5535416761657982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reach91,2019/02/08,"Could mental health be the next test of evolution? Just a fringe thought so I’ll bullet point my thinking and hopefully you can follow and then give your thoughts. 

The modern era has emerged and natural selection seems all but dead via means of medical interventions. 

The mind has now become the predominant tool in our success, over physicality being favoured in eons past. 

Now mutations are occurring to try and advance the mind. Some are good some are bad. 

Natural selection prevails in evolving the human intellect. 

I say this because I suffer terrible mental health issues. Many diagnosed. I think I’m bipolar which is undiagnosed, but after over a decade out of education (stopping when I was 16), I am now studying Applied Maths and Physics and without trying I am consistently 95%+ in all my modules. 

FYI a first class honours is 70%. 


Thoughts?",5.639616490891662,8.5690991409396,5.7459491850431474,72.82310402684566,71.01342281879195,9.08935762224353,35.47507190795781,9.606745405546679,4.136499137104506,688,37,106,18,14,217,107,149,0.111,0.71,0.17800000000000002,0.8692,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,0,4,6,8,0,0,9,0,14,5,0,0,2,27,25,11,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,7,0,1,7,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,4,1,11,5,13,18,4,22,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,4,12,69,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293170937358564,0.09705148508965247,0.17583230372379652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711432664927086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615923790920642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542191696075104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272645256039935,0.0,0.13353579486731548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33846050215439216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581290858628178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617138781698046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614115341464597,0.0,0.1734237672926996,0.0,0.16038492377426333,0.3208876620841975,0.0,0.321508614631332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16931910594006094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198168432661624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050265770525542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660828648343464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493663431751794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331046959414438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040276238064524,0.0,0.3791791906648807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21618304139862574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534704606256865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aliengal95,2019/02/08,"I wish to escape myself Background

Diagnosed with adhd and odd at age 3. Had a terrible time in school, bullied, have shit self esteem etc, tried killing myself age 15 and was finally diagnosed with depression, met a guy when I was 16/17, he was 23, fell in love, he was physically, verbally and sexually abusive (didn't realise this at the time) he wanted to have a child with me, I didn't but he said he'd leave if I didn't get pregnant so I did, within weeks I left him and fell in love with my unborn child.

Had child, diagnosed with ptsd, anxiety, depression, went back into education to try use my experience to help people. 

Fast track five years, I'm in my final year of uni, I'm a mother to an almost five year old little boy who is my whole world. This is the longest I've ever been off anti depressants, they've never worked for me but started a medication for my adhd over a year ago and it's been incredible.

Unfortunately I started using substances every weekend as a means to escape and have done for over two years now, i recently went through another trauma that seen me get sexually and physically assaulted (won't go any further than that) and it was a wake up call.

I'm 6 weeks sober, I'm doing incredibly with uni, I've been seeing a counsellor and she thinks I have an issue with sex, where I use that to escape and for affirmation so I also haven't had sex in 6 weeks. (god damn that's probably harder than avoiding the substances)

Trouble is, I feel so isolated, I've stopped everything, I don't speak to anyone, I came off social media (found reddit woo) my best friend is dealing with a lot herself so is unable to help me through this. My family are amazing but also a lot of other stress. 


I'm being told by my counsellor to try and put the energy I put into other aspects of my life (I always try help people too much where I burn myself out) into myself instead and see what connecting with myself feels like but I'm so FED UP. I'm alone, I want someone, a friend, to be here, to make me laugh, every night I'm on my own, I'm not sleeping, I'm making progress and I know it's going to take a long time but I just feel so shit. I feel so agitated like I need an outlet but I don't know what a healthy outlet is. I've bought loads of mindfulness journal type stuff. But I just cba doing it.

I don't even know what good putting this here will do, I'm just so sad, I've tried ringing three different people but nobody answered, I feel so alone through this whole process and self pity will get me nowhere but I'm ranging between wanting to cry and wanting to put someone's head through a window, there's so much going on internally right now, I just needed a rant 😂

Yeah, any advice on how to be happier being alone, I hate being alone right now, but I kinda have no choice because everyone fucking sucks and I suppose I'm kinda isolating myself also. ",4.391138815207782,5.161400731034483,5.794137931034488,80.00978337754198,70.13793103448276,8.638373121131742,28.66489832007073,8.841846274778883,2.1814951370468614,2264,80,447,39,39,766,270,580,0.177,0.701,0.121,-0.9855,1,5,0,0,0,1,66.0,0,0,0,3,32,28,8,2,23,1,44,16,5,6,2,81,105,43,1,8,16,1,5,2,2,3,5,4,1,7,20,30,1,2,12,1,1,12,11,18,0,4,26,12,56,10,63,70,9,73,0,5,3,5,31,29,5,6,34,280,76,3,0.0,0.07720875174730721,0.0,0.0,0.1566290662499926,0.06367756224387393,0.05776400468727962,0.0,0.06525239007901515,0.2699612420801488,0.0,0.1563350183325592,0.05422171554299148,0.0,0.0,0.08862758655558071,0.06833019544166713,0.04985032518357912,0.0,0.0,0.045564223739759734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010713743595163,0.0,0.039723404268834736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838565743697297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653978789585542,0.07453032121609908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157965666060255,0.0,0.06718128134260133,0.1683771202236649,0.19842043825008665,0.0,0.06808257002113312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668545470868557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267514880871752,0.04304024502022367,0.058944620198751935,0.10980705691928508,0.06226704893342616,0.05856525255898401,0.06374295167203815,0.06143087341365575,0.0,0.16474452570337267,0.0465532152855797,0.0,0.14276807832855826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144902495323288,0.1006911774632449,0.060243120584905614,0.10213659058367927,0.0,0.11110270576542036,0.054656519258561236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645226614313655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433601525425091,0.06687712223300525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310342812666538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801434527322872,0.0,0.0,0.0720943741260991,0.0,0.1074373844913006,0.0,0.0,0.06899932733351727,0.07080093851337553,0.0,0.046027300534229085,0.0636717332970168,0.06531150424799878,0.0,0.05766813978281996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108003018129722,0.11762621109377375,0.0,0.08699502800546254,0.0,0.0,0.07098276148611682,0.0,0.06564593174257957,0.0,0.0,0.06579712130687977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958061594205378,0.09663664503401732,0.0502585379350456,0.0,0.0,0.06115205308716199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837871596554937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552965644961018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025787484420765,0.0,0.07617329538115697,0.2620315025602206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434164476022207,0.0,0.0,0.11129949712231994,0.06198594055185104,0.0,0.0,0.0659495045481803,0.10385463309612884,0.0,0.13596064624508966,0.0,0.13377993599585775,0.0,0.0,0.06521111762473687,0.06642654972894127,0.110426587929564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224690977411916,0.0,0.0,0.05448006944023602,0.0746452070379589,0.0,0.07459725481183889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048995261038512684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04175449646642012,0.0,0.0,0.11399305688031346,0.0,0.0,0.06226704893342616,0.0,0.2212105858455184,0.0,0.06365581490513893,0.0,0.0,0.1688424682884158,0.0,0.0,0.15374179646073158,0.0,0.15681202748288972,0.0,0.0,0.12081546723516945,0.0,0.1455066848218989,0.07493544951620194,0.0,0.0,0.047440209539498936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20981758085168514
mentalhealth,raestarrs,2019/02/08,"Should I seek help? Having a hard time discerning what’s “normal” and what I should be concerned about I’m 20, female, in college. I’ve always had what I guess I would describe as obsessive thoughts and impulses. Over the past year or so, they’ve become a lot more invasive and have begun to affect my everyday life.  

I clean my living space obsessively. I live with two roommates who I love, but our shared space (kitchen and living room) can get a little messy. This causes me a lot of stress. I’m on campus for most of the day, and I find myself thinking about how messy/dirty/disorganized our house is and all the cleaning I need to do when I get home. I need to scrub the floor, reorganize the cabinets, clean my shower, wash my sheets, etc. (It’s worth noting that my idea of cleanliness might be a bit distorted, as I don’t think most people would consider our space messy.) I’m also worried this will spiral into an eating disorder because I’ve been falling back into unhealthy habits. I think it’s connected to the cleaning obsession because the feeling is similar; I feel horribly “unclean” unless I engage in these behaviors. 

I don’t know what to do or even if I should do anything at all, because technically I’m not hurting myself or anyone else, but I feel powerless. It’s all so hard to explain and I’m just tired of it. I think I’m mostly just ranting now, but if anyone can relate or has any thoughts I’d love to hear them. 
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mentalhealth,Maralith,2019/02/08,"Thanks for the memories... The background:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoCoworker/comments/akhbgv/am_i_the_justnocoworker_sorry_for_the_long_story/?utm_source=reddit-android

So in short my first workplace was pretty hard and my coworkers made it even harder.

This memory just came out of nowhere while I waited my turn at me post office today. Me and my other coworkers remained just 3 of us. The boss and the doctors went home.

The Girls started to talk about the old times. Olive was an old coworker who retired years ago so i never met her. 
The Girls just casually talked about how Olive once punched Julie (a coworker who i worked with) in the face and said: YOU'LL LEARN THIS TIME.
After that nothing happened. This Olive had a happy oldie life without concequences. And Julie stayed. 
And the Girls just looked at me. One of them just told me:

YES IT HAPPENED AND CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY YOU WERE NEVER ABUSED.

I should've just stand up and leave. But i already felt like a POS and trapped. 

I don't want to see them again. 

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mentalhealth,Huntershmunter,2019/02/08,"Family & emotional abuse. I don’t really know if this is the appropriate place to post but I feel like I need an outside perspective and it’s something that’s hard to talk about around others without feeling like I’m being too much. Here goes, I had to move back in with my parents who don’t have the healthiest relationship (they never really have). I come home to screaming and yelling, things broken, doors slamming etc. and my mom is a narcissist. She’s manipulative and mean. She’ll say awful things and if you try to bring it up later she’ll act like she doesn’t know what you’re talking about. She always makes a point to include me somehow in all of the fights. She’ll come in my room and make my dad out to be the enemy. (Ex: Look what he’s doing to me) I do my best to be neutral, act like I don’t care and disengage but am having a hard time dealing with it. I’m frustrated by the fact that I shouldn’t have to tell her she shouldn’t be coming to her child for this. That I can’t be their mediator and that’s not even a fair thing to ask. They used to tell me and my little sister they were going to get a divorce when we were younger and made us choose who we wanted to live with. This happened several times until we stopped caring. They still haven’t gotten one. I was probably about 6 or 7 when I walked into my parents room and saw my dad hurting my mom who screamed call 911, so I did. My dad took the phone and bent my arm all the way back almost breaking it. I want to be clear nothing physical like that has happened since I was a child. Not to me or my mother. It’s all psychological war now. I moved out on my own and had to come back for financial reasons. So it’s been a bit better because they can’t hold things over my head money wise or stop me from going anywhere anymore since I’m an adult. Although I did get a very stern talking to for leaving without my room being spotless and my bed not being made several times. She checks, and sometimes things are physically moved to different spots so I know she goes through my things when I’m gone. I guess my question and the thing I’ve been struggling most with is, coming from this whole back round and having learned and dealt with so much emotional and psychological abuse how am I ever going to have a normal relationship? I haven’t had that role model couple to look up to I don’t even know what that looks like. I just know overthinking and constantly questioning where I stand to the point where it consumes me every time I want to try with someone. I’ve taken a year off for myself and I just don’t know if any amount of time is going to change that mindset and that’s scary. I still look up to my parents they’re the ones who are supposed to lift you up and love you and the worst part is I’m not even mad. I wish I was. I wish I could scream and yell and throw things and feel better but I honestly think they’re doing the best they can and some people just shouldn’t be parents. I always wanted their approval but could never achieve that so I find myself seeking the approval of others instead but always feel like I give so much more than I get and I’m running out of things to give. Thank you for making it through this long post, any advise is appreciated. Thanks. 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mentalhealth,Gabby0416,2019/02/08,"Helping myself and a friend I'm trying to help my friend stop harming herself, and I'm also trying to recover from self harm as well. I gave her one of my rubber bands, and it's going well so far! It makes me happy to see her getting better. Unfortunately, I've nearly convinced myself that helping her is more important than helping myself. I'm using the thought process that she's been doing it longer than me, so I should put her first, and that I still think that I should suffer. I seem to care more about her than I do about myself. I'm feel as if I'm slowly getting back into the habit because of this 'more important than me' mentality, I've already cut twice in the past two days. What should I do?

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mentalhealth,knm5264,2019/02/08,"Boyfriend’s suicidal thoughts, self harm, and anger My boyfriend suffers from depression and anxiety. Recently, he lost his job and that seems to have sent him on a downward spiral. Every day he gets so angry at himself to the point where he will punch himself in the face or cut his arm. He has been throwing things against he wall until they break and kicked my cat last week when the cat tried to play with his feet. 

I’m at a loss. I have the same mental illnesses but can not wrap my head around this anger. It’s terrifying me. He won’t check himself into an inpatient facility and his old therapist is no longer working so the process to get another one is long. I’m afraid he is going to hurt himself badly, or hurt me. I want to help him get better but I don’t know if I should stay in this environment. 

Any suggestions? ",3.688972795497186,5.337414079268296,4.295853658536586,86.73282363977488,72.84146341463416,7.9729831144465315,27.859287054409,8.617729084823388,1.9355118198874304,655,25,135,12,13,208,112,164,0.257,0.688,0.055,-0.9885,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,4,5,14,3,1,8,0,12,5,4,0,0,20,24,14,1,3,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,3,1,1,3,4,12,0,1,4,0,20,2,17,17,1,24,0,6,0,0,22,11,0,4,8,80,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988687507956135,0.18486103308115706,0.1348654508201304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569402273597496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719924314145202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591889973149045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369590828496452,0.0,0.15184291605677794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853642559115446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27632111292297906,0.0,0.1001927031583034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092987771478464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118167048732648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37745561052880655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494591987787178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688730709375504,0.1437042300733582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601582619826576,0.0,0.0,0.1924471866333428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17766423532356102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849923008773712,0.0,0.11946228340349024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665607784167058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740703775780869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049265427747034,0.18391448583449124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790737317665035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928384855829288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469247506382646,0.11712278878697376,0.0,0.0,0.13995880577547518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196929619872101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398355784649577,0.0,0.141413485954317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834510553310322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,annoventura,2019/02/08,"Help with loneliness and self hate? another friend of mine referred me to here to ask for help or any insight... so, here i am. 

background: In comparison to this friend of mine that can buy anything she wants, goes out every weekend, is in a well-off family that can splurge anytime they want, gets showered with praise by her peers everyday, is always surrounded by people,

I'm... always in my room. Working for part time jobs that don't last, barely being able to afford going out, not being with people altogether for weeks at a time, always have to hear ""we don't have enough"" when it even comes to allowance (sometimes, i admittedly end up borrowing from other people and paying them back when i can), and i can't even get a single compliment for any hard work i do in school (which sounds bratty, i know, but when you always hear from this friend all the time, you can't help but be envious.)

i can't even get much of a compliment from me, myself. i hate myself. i can't, for the life of me, come to like myself at all, much less love myself. At least i don't see it right now...

honestly? i... hated it... when that well-off friend told me to love myself first then everyone else will. I'm not the one constantly surrounded by people who willingly throw compliments at her everyday. I work for the shit i get. Where I'm from you. don't just fall into such a crowd. Yet i get the short end of the stick. 


i can't help but compare. i can't help but be jealous. i can't help but be lonely, nor can i avoid hating myself. i was also given advice to ""hang out with myself"". I would, if 'myself' wasn't an asshole who constantly made me think of things i hated thinking about. 
""welcome to the club"" I've heard that too.. but.. it sucks always feeling this way.. 


any advice...? 
(please do forgive any tones of brattiness.. i meant to say things without filter to be the most accurate to myself as i can be..) 
im just.. desperate to get/find some help for this... 
",2.6105897592197493,4.51838831865285,3.84749161840902,87.6988113380067,76.43523316062176,6.924596159707407,21.97470283450168,7.827709963407826,0.9530822310271256,1505,41,307,23,34,491,188,386,0.084,0.7140000000000001,0.202,0.9936,3,3,0,0,0,0,89.0,1,3,2,5,20,25,9,1,14,0,35,4,1,2,2,46,70,20,0,4,13,0,2,1,4,3,1,5,2,1,19,14,0,1,9,2,3,6,16,11,0,2,7,8,49,14,55,53,11,47,1,1,1,2,36,19,2,4,22,219,68,6,0.07614014046346305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880652809605174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088924281995633,0.3167734816254104,0.0,0.0,0.20711162588729692,0.07983957605708558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265684804101553,0.0,0.07118075316989582,0.0,0.0,0.058547068166016285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117597820097976,0.0,0.16456088512110134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360531726779407,0.0,0.13487512971924118,0.07867311864124947,0.0,0.15086953404405076,0.0,0.0641513522377984,0.07275516712687534,0.0,0.0,0.07177814812998436,0.0,0.0384987427735711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695907089886568,0.06476476458201287,0.0,0.0,0.2353027345931473,0.0,0.2386804849425181,0.0,0.0432721964756116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682066104075426,0.37586312682850587,0.0,0.0,0.17163094399835374,0.0,0.3572459183116655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224441741424253,0.0,0.07555734079357944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04184462996202167,0.06206437676689736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053780032940811115,0.037198226643398086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743889895566536,0.07204564189810675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194352807498234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05159452970036585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245235231940773,0.0,0.21114394583844576,0.0,0.0,0.08357900977382497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502326393313795,0.0,0.06054969573801116,0.0,0.07705788707712041,0.0606738340521626,0.0,0.07943077205100485,0.0,0.0781567600225258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753045458167154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011682521461438,0.09757505520972724,0.0,0.0,0.1331937846211057,0.0,0.0,0.07275516712687534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981885513673332,0.0604364994680797,0.06107502797731649,0.0,0.13691826067984306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339637833952975,0.0,0.16629278724629207,0.0,0.0,0.054087771217892,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TalkAboutItPodcast,2019/02/08,"Mental Health Podcast Hi Everyone, 

​

My name is Mario Hines. I am a former professional athlete and current youth development professional and mental health advocate. I am writing to share my mission of spreading mental health awareness. 

​

I was recently offered an opportunity to begin a mental health podcast with my good friend, former D1 BBall Player, and psychology doctorate student, Asia Alston. Our focus is spreading mental health awareness with a focus on creating safe spaces for marginalized groups within an already delicate community living with mental health issues. 

​

I would love for you all to take a listen to the podcast. Share stories. Give feedback. We cannot do this without the voices of many. We simply would like to do our part in normalizing and destigmatizing mental health. I am happy to answer any questions.

​

Ways to listen: 

​

[https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/talk-about-it-mental-health-in-sports/id1442473070?mt=2](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/talk-about-it-mental-health-in-sports/id1442473070?mt=2)

​

[http://theunderdogsports.com/category/podcasts/talk-about-it-mental-health-in-sports/](http://theunderdogsports.com/category/podcasts/talk-about-it-mental-health-in-sports/)

​

Ways to engage us: 

​

IG: @tlkaboutitpodcast, @ItsUhMe\_Mario, @pettypix, 

Twitter: @TalkAboutItPod1, @ItsUhMe\_Mario",19.58574074074074,25.921469302469138,11.639283950617285,30.85077777777781,41.1604938271605,9.505185185185187,41.04691358024692,9.888512548439397,5.585821728395064,1225,49,88,21,15,316,100,162,0.0,0.81,0.19,0.983,1,0,0,0,0,0,132.0,5,1,0,1,0,10,0,0,8,0,11,9,0,0,1,19,17,4,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,2,8,3,0,0,1,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,14,10,19,14,2,12,0,0,0,1,19,4,0,1,7,59,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046285557572559886,0.0,0.0,0.36356503644621296,0.4077263348451234,0.02852293346721237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429308218577331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04007869249184552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032405347670370045,0.0,0.0,0.040235907458163564,0.0,0.03518011316676632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044649502883744606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49042231178964296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04377798652629916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0204914145036994,0.0,0.03703676878087642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0378555337386283,0.0,0.0,0.042523999226844716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4649596276741319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04109560231973966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542058803983084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046986179468398434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04141402296938137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031536198267878984,0.13484998494513564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135814820971075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658539793443755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04043191698474626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595907407217109,0.0,0.4077263348451234,0.0
mentalhealth,hello_mikey,2019/02/08,"Low cost mental health therapy for someone with no insurance, in NYC. I’ve needed to speak with someone about my issues for a while and recently my anxiety has been spiraling out of control. I don’t have insurance currently and need some advice on my options. I’ve tried connecting with a couple community centers in Brooklyn but I just seem to get the run around. I desperately want to feel better and be productive again. Any insight? Thanks so much in advance, I hope you are having a good day. 

",4.58991935483871,6.880511150537636,5.692137096774196,74.95820564516131,71.90322580645163,9.381182795698924,32.05510752688172,9.827888789773867,3.6513881720430117,399,19,67,11,8,132,72,93,0.08,0.7490000000000001,0.171,0.899,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,3,5,5,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,1,0,20,15,6,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,0,1,3,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,1,2,8,4,16,13,2,15,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,4,5,46,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689364372120128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439791637003527,0.0,0.16196781180814868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847870270373085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18725213058995085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237465782114834,0.0,0.2342679010563962,0.0,0.13654406940007038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705370621869548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11061673132831486,0.0,0.0,0.17758353215868647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250520601180437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028909613669886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209842089274377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21336737657373406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556410509053077,0.3139804179611735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090513025055093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19274502006649985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35878507806170085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492644913502905,0.24212414530759946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374628212054047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487993942114255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kled24,2019/02/08,"I hate food but I know I need to eat. Food suggestions? I got diagnosed with depression a few weeks back and one thing I've really been struggling with is food. I hate eating, I hate the energy involved with cooking food. I hate going out and getting groceries. It wasnt until I weighed myself this morning that I realized this no eating thing has become a problem. I've lost 20 pounds in a month, and I'm not a big person to start with.

I've never had problems with food. I love to eat and I understand the importance of good nutrition. I'm an athlete and am used to taking care of my body.

I'm looking for suggestions for high calorie high nutrient foods I could try and convince myself to eat. I'm a 23 F who lives in Canada (just as an FYI for certain food reccomendations).
",1.7265045248868771,4.155122955128206,3.495233785822024,86.34780542986427,82.26923076923076,6.747511312217196,24.56108597285068,7.928766900206844,1.6277674208144797,615,24,120,12,17,205,94,156,0.203,0.624,0.174,-0.8037,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,14,4,1,9,0,7,17,1,1,2,25,28,9,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,12,14,0,3,1,0,1,4,9,0,1,5,1,15,5,20,22,1,13,0,2,1,1,6,6,0,0,6,72,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406824966623217,0.0,0.0,0.09202084301335893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255018856747127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495070761244697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652456488152311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176374417290687,0.08456845888764629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4262878849205181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7052595653216884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043531473561274986,0.0,0.0473529072291781,0.06988520400353665,0.06663894067672463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290466068318985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17606516850585913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579071648807245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357344558881301,0.0,0.0699681568208134,0.0,0.0909540663931052,0.0,0.07519992006409955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650555367967104,0.0,0.0,0.06178102579558078,0.06426183416281099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646006390758253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275216528494502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945275302989834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053377186052725734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897461268767463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710457984962383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264657646208703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070875177585346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656908683270899,0.0,0.0,0.0867394817937696,0.0,0.07196207943024932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683460441993773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,painiskindafunn,2019/02/08,"Why do I feel so shit for not having a relationship yet? I have to admit my mental health was never in the best of states anyway, I've always been horrible anxious, sad about things and also had different learning difficulties, but I use to be able to have fun, I distracted myself with skating and music and many other things, But I'm nearly 20 now, and I've still never had any type of relationship or affection, people validate me all the time and make me feel attractive at least but I feel so fucking lonely, I don't even care about sex anymore, I just want to cuddle someone or be touched by someone briefly ffs (lol I am a actual meme) I feel like I'm in constant agony and I have no motivation for anything, If I try to masturbate I'll most likely just et upset and overwhelmed by the lonely feeling in my stomach, the sinking feeing there or the heavy muscle tension in my face.

Is this really all because I've gotten to a certain age without having sex? I know as primitive humans we didn't live long and infant mortality rates were extremely high so sex was really common, and early, so is it possible thats why I feel like this?

I don't even have motivation to try meet people anymore I just feel like a waste of genetics and that I should just lay down and die somewhere so no one els has to suffer this. 🤷‍♂️",5.531287735849055,5.73250513584906,6.810507075471701,75.7342511792453,67.45283018867924,9.643867924528305,30.902122641509447,9.516144504307137,2.7712311320754717,1051,38,198,20,16,358,157,265,0.206,0.659,0.135,-0.9741,1,4,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,3,19,19,2,4,9,1,23,9,3,5,5,49,40,25,2,3,13,0,8,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,9,13,0,0,12,0,1,0,9,10,0,1,8,8,23,9,27,29,5,20,0,5,0,5,7,8,2,5,15,137,32,4,0.1180981142189809,0.0,0.11524672361994112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444301927324557,0.09826709167287093,0.0,0.0,0.08031076742580373,0.0,0.0,0.13341725377570465,0.2342431907905855,0.0,0.0,0.09718468539075016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199151428082487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393668479818475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040889827296865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762210634700805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225671972716674,0.12338739345653375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600538126358965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179976850028917,0.25310794918547685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917980358778827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553277289798515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477714170875773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490363504224432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307870929649062,0.0,0.104282798513113,0.10451311475287296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883140828805575,0.11973295158606125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901512215982582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821690924069611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002633859800044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637487249202071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331378792141723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131335208744695,0.0,0.0,0.25358635537147545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122601713028047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20012829786975286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431330656883136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691827890734275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886396012096457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603617347817449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199885257175427,0.0,0.0,0.06965732758298604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313035819205906,0.0,0.0,0.11384236776606385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ISGNoxUmbra,2019/02/08,"Medicine Major Mess Up So I had missed taking my antidepressant and anti anxiety medication for the past 4 days or so. Well last night I decided to take it, since I knew it was bad that I was forgetting.  Well it’s majorly messed me this morning. I can’t think straight, it’s hard to keep my eyes open,y breathing is labored and my whole body feels heavy....I don’t want to work like this I just want to go home.",2.484016806722685,4.0368555529411765,3.72218487394958,90.00411764705885,75.82352941176471,7.680672268907562,25.084033613445378,8.418075326091056,1.3912857142857151,322,11,73,6,7,105,63,85,0.188,0.67,0.142,-0.6235,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,1,0,6,4,3,0,0,12,16,5,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,7,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,4,2,0,4,3,10,3,6,12,3,7,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,5,39,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728957838106481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887075478894759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510443482193798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575670091526774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427662224911905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284457645699487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024591062175243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267048218836655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008866229845427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422698581696664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104162730576984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22767965466255974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21209354424869425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21575056176240712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18695645849180328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33986033306965713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481703715262156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666111836346786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4064173328137353,0.0,0.0,0.252330272965382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453678450978074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CostasPol,2019/02/08,"Stuck in a brief loop, with extreme focus and physical discomfort When I was younger, since I can remember myself, I have been having these moments or episodes, where one phrase I said or thought just a moment before gets repeated and stuck in a loop inside my mind. For example, if I asked my mother: ""What are we going to eat, Mom?"", the same phrase would be repeated again and again inside my head, just my voice asking again and again: ""*What are we going to eat, Mom?*"" inside my head. Or even if I thought of something, like: ""*What time is it?*"" it would again be vocalised again and again inside my head. And along with this, there would be the feeling of cold sweat, although I don't remember ever actually sweating. Along with this feeling, I would be extremely focused on what I was doing, be it playing or watching TV or anything, sort of inside a bubble where nothing could interrupt me or even come close to interrupting me. And I had this feeling that everything started physically centering towards whatever I had my attention to, sort of like when at the end of a film, the screen gradually gets more black apart from a small circle focusing on something, like the protagonist's face. But, I was so focused that, while it made perfect sense to me to carry forward doing whatever I was doing, the content of that thing I would be doing lost part of its sense, a lot like when you repeat a word over and over again and it starts losing its meaning.

​

As I grew older, those ""episodes"" became less frequent, but a couple of nights ago I had one more. I was lying in bed and, as I always do, I was listening to music before sleep. Suddenly, I had this feeling that my mouth was as big as my whole head. So, instead of a face with a nose and two eyes and hair etc., I had just one big mouth. And of course I knew that this was in no way real, but I couldn't shake the feeling that my mouth was as big as my head. And I tried explaining it to myself, just having a sort of conversation with myself that this isn't real. And that became the vocalised loop. Phrases like: ""you are only feeling as though your mouth is as big as your head"" kept repeating inside my head, but this time not only a single phrase, more like the whole *theme* of this ""conversation"" with myself. And when I tried to break out of this loop, I felt a significant discomfort and the delusion became multi-faceted. Along with the head-proportioned mouth delusion, I had also the feeling where I would feel as though my arms were tiny under my normal-sized pillow (I always sleep face-down with my arms under the pillow). After a while, I can't tell how much time passed but it was certainly less than an hour, this episode gradually fainted away and I drifted into sleep.

​

Has anybody ever experienced anything like this or heard about someone experiencing it?",7.142666666666668,6.9895057111111125,6.966666666666669,77.175,64.1111111111111,9.644444444444446,32.62962962962963,9.120678840339163,2.7075629629629634,2244,79,414,33,30,711,226,540,0.041,0.873,0.086,0.9352,0,0,2,0,0,0,96.0,2,4,0,3,32,15,0,3,29,0,50,27,24,2,4,95,81,55,0,10,19,3,10,7,0,6,1,4,3,0,36,35,2,1,17,3,0,9,6,5,0,4,29,22,59,10,63,38,13,72,0,2,4,0,18,27,0,13,43,322,95,0,0.0,0.0,0.0640763880949365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05820517222865707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05250967112754387,0.10927165832074172,0.14228893943272192,0.15957240644202153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806803737897347,0.0,0.12276972964219847,0.0,0.06169136779477113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174661196945178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656177640059092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05242555781586708,0.07265346830273288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343767084950087,0.0,0.0,0.05815681372310464,0.0,0.07323019891116032,0.08673792226588431,0.11878960917599465,0.0,0.0,0.05901253956101012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26560439621056525,0.0,0.06304556918373523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861109991657746,0.0,0.07463416198554257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5391031233104544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466358903985815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245530720990911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345869335741131,0.0716775476062426,0.05582326472104363,0.0,0.06213072764640259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152488612817627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629964107492248,0.15380447661525373,0.0,0.0,0.04826893529827042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161909655232165,0.0643345655740992,0.06300421208370012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348228657847094,0.09987742681320548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110526758866967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494748745155507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876390674587006,0.0,0.06245935275970042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543160712773909,0.0,0.1971274855224954,0.0,0.055634980675765125,0.10109923343123506,0.0,0.0,0.09295143749177022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057391256418413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043622743548071725,0.0,0.129024655706669,0.1042561768699443,0.11486366889743806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916002495080401,0.0,0.0641419806325346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211923427184969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661797942040164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27986530432687473,0.0,0.15957240644202153,0.0
mentalhealth,KrazyAlonzo25,2019/02/08,"Emptiness I feel so empty. I have little desire to fullfill a greater purpose. I think of it,  For so long Ive been on a search for purpose but never found it.   I fantasize about it but never truly could kill myself because of the pain it would cause family. Im smart, skilled, most ppl say attractive and have a lot going for me but at the end of the day Im my own worst enemy. Ive made a lot of really dumb decisions in life. Im 25 going on 80. Literally no friends, unable to meet new people or gain real genuine friends since high school days. I used to be popular and funny etc etc now Im like a giant ball of complicated. People just use me at the end of the day, but dont genuinely enjoy me as a person. I have social anxiety and who knows what else. I dont believe in meds nor psych drs nor hospitals. Ill never go that route again. ",1.545170454545456,3.3250268125000018,3.986363636363638,86.07454545454546,79.17045454545455,7.127272727272729,22.363636363636363,8.07648339933343,1.1934045454545452,653,20,138,12,16,228,113,176,0.16399999999999998,0.631,0.204,0.8562,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,2,6,11,2,0,11,0,11,4,0,4,3,28,21,13,1,3,6,0,1,1,2,1,4,1,0,1,7,3,0,0,5,1,0,3,8,4,0,0,3,2,14,7,20,15,8,24,0,0,0,0,7,9,1,4,13,88,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686796026326181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922103498500931,0.0,0.0,0.12793567874338418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665051419320747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906630665564459,0.0,0.0,0.2196974447406709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26616723329571457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485920756578363,0.0,0.20114903085276611,0.0,0.2532838819242802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704794103113968,0.0,0.05741595810935491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450532745031564,0.1754619888742359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360486404109886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997529122473152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4906281800169474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562989717173725,0.0,0.062405921542201974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020605079522483,0.05547640439224459,0.1138102336314925,0.0,0.10049109322079977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307790229254504,0.0,0.10744687382422743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126132112563953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627379055294091,0.10967048040795578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120828712535199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744711483963592,0.09915035769270417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292485102811646,0.07274514880800327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903021382925372,0.0,0.1149219973866941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939324594809808,0.0,0.0,0.11575328467827177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276036668768368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614717686750432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066500313373211,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blckclaw,2019/02/08,"I really need to transform my subcionscious thought patterns. Recenly I have discovered something about my mental state.  


I have very negative, very self-destructive thought patterns that keep persisting in my brain. I noticed that I think about dying or killing myself on a daily basis. And this is what I think about when I'm going to sleep. This actually makes me peaceful. Depressed, unhappy, self-loathing, but peaceful.   


I realized that this is *normal* to me, and I find it *not normal*.

​

Once I even did an exercise - I wanted to fall asleep thinking of positive outcomes, doing positive affirmations and visualization. It was really, really difficult. It was an effort for me and my brain, it made me restless and agitated. It's like I suddenly started doing some mental gymnastics in the middle of the night.  


I realized, that I desperately need to change my thought patterns. My subconscious is too polluted with destructive, suicidal thoughts. My thoughts are centered around hiding, escaping from reality and despising society, instead feeling more love.   


I don't really know which method is good. From time to time, I try meditation, or visualizations. The latter are very difficult ones. I often listen to hypnosis sessions from youtube, but I don't really know whether such hypnosis have any effect.  


Can anyone please share a good, well-informed advice, or a method, I could use to change the tracks of my train of thought and keep it from derailing?  


I know that saying ""My life depends on it"" is cheesy, but... considering my recent suicide attempts I would say, yes, my life does depend on it.  


  
Thank you.",6.254369047619049,8.941452175000002,6.491428571428576,69.30190476190478,68.32142857142857,10.23809523809524,35.595238095238095,10.411451182825502,4.608738095238094,1299,67,194,39,24,416,157,280,0.175,0.675,0.15,-0.8852,0,0,3,0,0,2,60.0,0,1,0,4,10,13,3,1,9,1,20,8,4,6,0,50,47,15,4,7,8,0,1,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,18,9,0,2,17,1,0,2,4,7,0,1,10,4,37,6,27,35,2,18,0,1,0,1,6,8,0,7,8,136,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.09128503382346004,0.0,0.0,0.09140969730160496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135442270541067,0.1136656805449833,0.06361283766321332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540784152324758,0.0,0.0,0.0832736127223116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088511292808166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979133944608076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468693165639533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056894270551775,0.0,0.09708346057184487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186061146830527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178464800549197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047298441384949666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854971314101371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05316296848022736,0.1569198224596004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662916522251011,0.10349210434244256,0.0,0.1542273047076444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214518462030625,0.04570066489871602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442672718561046,0.08851319094757512,0.06244106162755166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18853984062386103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387227487913452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778430682790354,0.18330568151713084,0.0,0.10649997832756952,0.0,0.09962085274748472,0.06338754626792806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268275299403254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29963204222609485,0.0,0.09236299355955824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877920827621902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517269631957185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361112945792806,0.0,0.0,0.07201441293493778,0.0,0.0,0.06621062272426986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046429731439061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612235441858475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798168341475849,0.0,0.4455788902041543,0.10909201982332008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350994598256582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807916131106015,0.0,0.2315497342112332,0.055174423226418516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410690662527973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645067065276351,0.0,0.1136656805449833,0.0
mentalhealth,JglShindig,2019/02/08,"Rapid, dark introspective thoughts. Feeling nothing and talking to myself... Hi, so I usually smoke weed everyday to stay calm.  I've cut down on this a LOT recently (to pretty much nothing) as I can't afford it and have found that my sleep suffers when I don't have it.  Last night I was up until six am without trying to but what was really weird were my thoughts.

I was thinking in a very dark, melancholy way (had been bored and depressed through the day) but also extremely fast. 

I was having a conversation with myself in my head that flowed perfectly well and articulately, saying something along the lines of 'just keep trying to do the things that aren't working in different ways, but if they don't work then life is meaningless anyway and death can be painless so you can just kys if it all goes to shit'.  My brain was also providing flawless counterarguments and was clear in a way my head rarely is, but it was like my brain was talking to itself rather than any manual thought. I wasn't TRYING to think or talk, you know? 

I was able to look at all of my problems and solutions.  While my thoughts sound fairly dark/suicidal, I was viewing them perfectly logically and rationally and I was not in any crisis or danger to myself.  In fact, I felt absolutely nothing at all.  I even remember looking at my fiance in bed sleeping and thinking, 'I don't feel anything at all for you right now'.  Though, I also oddly felt on the verge of crying. 

I also had some weird, paranoid thoughts but I don't remember what they were though I was able to recognise that I was thinking in a very strange way.  For example, when I heard a pipe bang, instead of thinking 'oh the boiler's on' my brain went, quite simply and formally, 'there's fire in the walls'. 

I felt incredibly stimulated and awake as if I'd had a line of coke and my eyes were almost stuck wide open. I did have an instant coffee at 9pm on an empty stomach but I have a very high caffeine tolerance so this shouldn't be the only thing affecting it come 6am!  I also had notably dilated pupils even in my bright bathroom after bathing for 30mins in light.  I have not taken any drugs recently and I'm not on any medication. 

Why did this happen?  I really do feel I flipped on an introspection switch and I'd like to know how to do it again; though perhaps with less disturbing thoughts and not at 6am LOL

Also I got really creative before sleep and drew this weird eye/teeth/pattern thing ",5.408427164685907,6.208514218947371,5.9618064516129055,79.61058064516129,67.86315789473684,9.076400679117148,31.112054329371816,9.19923166143015,2.606577589134125,1934,75,371,35,31,627,237,475,0.128,0.759,0.113,-0.7842,3,0,3,0,0,0,47.0,0,3,3,5,26,19,3,1,18,1,47,15,11,3,8,81,78,48,1,6,19,0,7,2,0,1,3,3,2,0,20,22,1,1,23,1,0,3,13,11,1,1,39,16,48,8,56,36,8,55,0,2,5,0,13,31,1,8,18,258,68,2,0.14088303589264756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053700496705757,0.0,0.0,0.337992338711134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916105909843073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05796736726351625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059940543509372474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359080913103526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067913039249615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773766997851767,0.04542895159399662,0.0,0.0606711761882013,0.0,0.0,0.07359639354107156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168979711590653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305191650753744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068520440133714,0.0,0.20290471180086775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723548856853876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056338516856803585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229120168324857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458663958269544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442533121799656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261165774293606,0.0,0.0,0.07742563211691145,0.0574192388304133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04975492732866605,0.06882833506013125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830626785055375,0.0,0.0,0.0598868595454447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096241850737346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051782620795483215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610459275333284,0.0,0.2027716088632277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05357394861454679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166434793424029,0.0,0.06740301933983421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492322515374768,0.0,0.0,0.13537992046370728,0.0,0.13910500168789947,0.0,0.15959301615985808,0.06015667144024545,0.0,0.0560179223864222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230720590008836,0.0,0.0,0.21147716990443444,0.0,0.0,0.05422932197627396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508128558858605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705158751227457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698546715439378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039464346478042,0.2256804019808646,0.2076253011934248,0.335536181132833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434755003486292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758138011518045,0.17436488861481375,0.0,0.2236527926520767,0.0,0.0,0.0633353843199617,0.06529999285961137,0.06356251346932766,0.0,0.0,0.06790310958882624,0.0,0.1025645280387067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dpr55nThr0w4w4y,2019/02/08,"Can stress / anxiety / depression affect your eating habits so much so that you go whole day eating little to no food? It has been over 3 months that I have not had what most people in our culture call a proper meal. I have been to a gastroenterologist and he said it's due to oesophagitis and acid reflux, so I'm on meds. But can't say my mental health is not affecting my appetite.",6.786052631578947,6.006641815789473,7.0357894736842095,78.4605263157895,65.05263157894737,10.23157894736842,28.21052631578948,9.516144504307137,2.1448263157894742,302,7,61,5,4,98,61,76,0.13699999999999998,0.863,0.0,-0.8451,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,9,5,0,2,0,8,12,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,3,7,0,6,8,3,8,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,1,3,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17598094895732982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348978662468047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835759426065773,0.0,0.1981342167146891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4707793170333249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781668279635469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073776028757758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445231226022085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230561795797062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555240021260713,0.0,0.2318275031736434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361675435648572,0.0,0.16910680912004594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948165811711218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188219354669451,0.18293805842149535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26351150812519586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256832873008296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,restindioid,2019/02/08,"Im a terrible person. Not sure what the fuck is wrong with my brain anymore Hi,

Im gonna try to explain how I feel. This post may be dumb, because I feel like Iam retarded in all the ways possible. I feel like my brain is literally falling appart and sometimes i dont control myself, like its so imbalanced. I suffer from a bad case of OCD , im socialy anxious in a weird way, im body dysmorphic, had a few types of eating disorders, addictions and im just plain dumb and immature.
But whats the worst is that lately i treat people like shit. If i make a friend and they hurt me in a little small way, i block them out, like literally block them on messenger apps. But thats not it, if i start feeling lonely i unblock them and talk to them again till a minor inconvenience happens and i get all retardedly angry and block them again. You would all say that i need to control myself, but the thing is that i cant. It feels like somthing else is controling me. 
[Im also spacing out when writing this post. I keep forgeting the words].
If I meet people irl i get way too excited and anxious and i just start talking nonsense whitch ofc pushes them away. 

I remember being shy and all that since I was a kid and i was more intelligent back then.
But now im getting retarded, more and more each year.



Please help. Im so sorry for this long nonsense post. But please tell me whats wrong. Whats wrong with me, can someone explain?",1.5584659746251432,3.8130903425605567,3.27426643598616,88.7457479815456,81.56055363321798,6.483091118800463,23.820184544406,7.675431598112923,1.2228213610149936,1115,41,232,19,30,370,155,289,0.224,0.6629999999999999,0.113,-0.9802,0,2,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,7,3,13,24,4,0,13,0,15,7,4,5,5,57,33,27,0,5,12,0,5,6,1,3,1,1,0,2,16,17,1,7,8,0,0,2,4,14,0,0,3,6,36,10,17,25,10,31,0,3,0,1,21,10,4,4,18,142,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901529935859081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057963257478423125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376644228814966,0.07188195848059054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068098553255054,0.05573363421102279,0.060518845482628016,0.04418391862767503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805103679693514,0.0,0.1618261702618276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438817732220607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306983216668956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494752628184549,0.0,0.0,0.0741664495924974,0.060548813075100474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832435777349418,0.15534193359518647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055998861042370895,0.06700778009323333,0.11360543967270167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409496100843275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04858267753807118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759271475394941,0.0,0.6263378057553668,0.0,0.0,0.06442469647821915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176204661405763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21246416826507367,0.07264528915032188,0.0,0.06414365642807106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048381820606212884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053743954467472814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100498793636114,0.06328786238385546,0.0,0.1591253705563926,0.0,0.08171175839576762,0.20825110623891752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210716659472556,0.0,0.0,0.057640027068167725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440099753351209,0.05995726800536628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061413157623547036,0.0,0.07168584426934932,0.08113686449825122,0.1026052532539836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831275339146722,0.0,0.0,0.11651542278333818,0.06335183788735864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048153345124756886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921003476153188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301290814287973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148862531936746,0.23774072074218655,0.0,0.0466755711885437
mentalhealth,celestialcomet,2019/02/08,"Can anybody tell me ways to get over this? I have PTSD, Panic disorder, GAD, and depression. My anxiety is pretty bad but I’ve been able to manage it during the day and with medication before bed or if I need it during the day. I still freak out about sleeping for some reason when I go to bed and when I wake up and I used to love to sleep. I went through medication withdrawals in January (long story) but ended up having a horrible nightmare and couldn’t sleep while going through that. I just want to be able to sleep and be happy I’m sleeping again without worry.",4.305774336283186,5.415788991150444,5.373617256637168,81.69458517699118,70.59292035398232,8.127876106194691,27.39933628318584,8.472884824447931,1.8894433628318588,448,15,87,7,8,148,78,113,0.14800000000000002,0.7120000000000001,0.14,0.2404,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,0,8,9,6,2,0,20,17,13,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,2,0,10,2,18,12,1,18,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,3,9,60,14,1,0.26911341785685616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293551403233926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234923151775073,0.0,0.0,0.11449784872819213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355589132008664,0.0,0.11589349623217808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421364587854042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191773055634476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030032679174839,0.0,0.15294335708919954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14323811872614736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190784531489624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144268325257025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711034563232965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997720947085614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578733060649813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689254699027126,0.0,0.0,0.15728959212846702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834670716664985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.673269420871979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745716156422938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760849443046564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621379399066935,0.0,0.0,0.07936503317010286,0.10680485244812256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473541724263355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970786573964907,0.0,0.0,0.13664886945490187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unequivocallyamber,2019/02/08,"What Do You Want Your SO To Do When You Are In A Bad Place? Creating a thread to help people in relationships with MH friends be the best help possible. Please share advice, anecdotes and questions :)",3.3079729729729728,6.109124054054058,3.32560810810811,87.69489864864866,78.72972972972974,6.943243243243244,25.466216216216218,8.07648339933343,1.6924108108108116,158,6,30,3,4,48,31,37,0.066,0.489,0.445,0.9531,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,5,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,1,20,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826685754152927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415260424834789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30356809660073075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234871333596164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38777943450324376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005414652883792,0.0,0.302222673110214,0.3175285376208541,0.0,0.3261053226033705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240454835951131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31056473452307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061729852701665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TattoedTigerTrainer,2019/02/08,"Trying to move on Recently I have been through some stuff. My entire last few months have been nothing but mental hell. 

My now ex boyfriend robbed me, ran off with the friend he’d been sleeping with and went to another state. She left him. He begged to come back. I let him. 

He was then arrested for a warrant he had. He begged me to get him out of jail. I did. 

Today I found out he wasn’t where he said he was, he was late coming home and he was at the beach with a girl. I called the cops on a no contact and had him kicked out. 

But here I am, feeling broken without him. I know I’m so much better than him. But I can’t get over this feeling ",0.03043478260869392,2.0313495797101493,1.5081449275362324,100.63613043478264,85.81159420289856,4.549565217391304,17.895652173913042,5.6839178017228535,-0.655455652173913,494,12,121,3,15,158,86,138,0.078,0.8029999999999999,0.119,0.7152,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,6,0,17,1,1,0,0,20,29,8,0,0,4,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,2,11,0,0,4,1,0,5,4,1,0,0,15,3,20,2,20,12,3,24,1,0,0,0,23,10,1,1,8,80,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20013335958094453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467595649218071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16880016683520474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488940740363425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288179936590352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19300910930209286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20926814726997886,0.14745796858640325,0.0,0.19943295325032348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19144814960871487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048916688727536,0.15557638011223304,0.2152984020880953,0.0,0.2073699569359818,0.19516728914836012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19234199712101507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234263732440764,0.2028539832961057,0.1403040663753733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18313532501795846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884512321908961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815515739306948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19099784462651195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21848904608730693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18091297073030124,0.0,0.0,0.12958141692402098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692913938580465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839822366749721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,josephsamuelkelly91,2019/02/08,"12 weeks on Sertraline Not sure if this is the right place to post this but hey.

I’ve been on Sertraline/Zoloft for around 12 weeks now. Had the side effects for the first few weeks then started to feel normal around the 5 week mark. Week 6/7 was amazing and felt great but from week 7 to now has been horrendous.

I have contacted my doctor who advised upping from 50mg to 100mg but I’m in two minds as I really cba with the side effects again.

I guess what I’m looking for is if anyone has had similar experiences with this. If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated!

Thanks.",2.4628724216959554,4.5389467310924365,3.5030404889228417,89.21588999236059,77.48739495798318,7.016348357524827,21.742551566080976,8.00094639256281,0.9311109243697476,467,13,99,8,11,150,78,119,0.052000000000000005,0.7959999999999999,0.152,0.9409,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,5,0,13,1,0,2,1,21,21,9,0,5,7,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,6,3,4,4,18,13,2,23,0,0,1,0,4,10,0,4,12,62,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14390609316451813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014555581578337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20594285319374397,0.0,0.0,0.2621949448322387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073242804823084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405386793493627,0.0,0.0,0.07446183625377302,0.0,0.14139792612057606,0.0,0.0,0.12526391637470802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623606783042308,0.162229495815332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366588808606074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869612364370724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825705018750913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428887339465332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386105119442725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141039592984259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434201809331702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576388948989226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423524334405873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387959436274927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558224044453654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385694595404402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7087647655180356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461315029027447,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,catslover19,2019/02/08,"Anyone have a good knowledge on schizoid? I think I might have before, I just want to be clarified. Couple months ago, I couldn’t find people who could speak to me the way I want to hear(they were so agreeable to whatever I said, so I didn’t know what is right and wrong anymore), so I was constantly lost and unstable, I want to know if schizoid can be spreaded out? I afraid I had given my conditions to my friends.",7.5012650602409625,5.938499096385544,7.003704819277111,81.80748493975905,64.06024096385542,10.709638554216868,36.41265060240964,9.516144504307137,3.073074698795181,327,13,69,5,4,102,56,83,0.1,0.731,0.16899999999999998,0.5737,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,2,0,13,0,0,0,0,16,22,6,0,6,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,7,2,14,2,8,10,0,7,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,3,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931519888301365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160946529465364,0.15235821135465638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854137658259717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23546857166932916,0.0,0.173972524604583,0.24109819386757125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991533387166226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834619838050133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827611408605912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455850502250902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23950029782442905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378596324777507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23115361940709975,0.0,0.0,0.1739228072289359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15106191032764987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860823132100485,0.20726934986440054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396191984740622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855627814432984,0.1729559997926639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23823547950915624,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WulfTyger,2019/02/08,"I... Need help. I'm.. Lost, to put it simply. Lately.. As in the past few years. I can't focus on almost anything. As of right now, this line, I've spent 12 minutes typing this. I have two daughters, and just learned that my wife is pregnant again with a third child. Now, I love my family, thats not up for debate. I just.. I feel wrong. I feel like I've been... Locked in the wrong universe. I'm wrong. I'm.. Not right. I used to be.. Not exactly happy, but in a state of contentness, I was fine. Now I'm.. Dying inside, honestly. It hurts. And it hurts my family. And I can't stand it. I'm not much for public forums like this. At least, not posting. I read all kinds of stuff on Reddit. But.. I though it'd be worth a try..... Thank you, for taking the time to read this.",-1.886851851851852,-0.07994808024691125,0.662345679012347,101.00055555555555,103.87654320987656,3.634567901234568,12.172839506172838,5.5874745759252304,-1.2595160493827162,569,10,138,5,27,191,94,162,0.112,0.7559999999999999,0.132,0.4855,0,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,0,1,7,14,0,0,6,0,9,1,0,1,2,21,23,8,1,1,9,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,0,3,2,2,1,7,6,0,2,4,2,16,8,19,16,4,21,0,3,0,1,7,9,0,1,10,84,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14522921250734902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934948333483128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052095512122884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27344768088036664,0.0,0.146665694260857,0.10361132806664948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543899139462509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972123036759209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105208247852989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102914874528392,0.0,0.0,0.1636031052093003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171121815624485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832023012527272,0.0,0.13089759613928453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661565859234994,0.10753984521216772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384500403725281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890115302022846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579783484887412,0.0,0.0,0.2901437227793279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477141189765665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660276437141186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904647582408662,0.0,0.0,0.13352654476898426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424938063975758,0.0,0.08456968325597733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984676243789133,0.0,0.14167578933112432,0.0,0.0,0.12526161201467606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757111857989067,0.0,0.09339624801601497
mentalhealth,summary10,2019/02/08,"What are your symptoms of an anxiety attack/how do you know it I didn’t even know the episodes I’d have were even called anxiety until last year when somebody said crying is a sign of an anxiety attack. Before this, I had a scheduled weekly session where my brain would pick something and obsess and cry over it until I exhausted myself. At the time, I thought it was a way to manage my feelings. I now know there are wayy better ways to manage your emotions.

I know some signs where I know I’m headed to that state, and that’s when I know to take my meds. The main one I just realized is that I’ll start obsessing over something small in my relationship with my SO, it could be something we’ve already discussed and came to a compromise. ",5.576666666666667,5.907133877551023,5.871156462585037,82.06074829931974,67.36734693877551,8.710204081632652,30.619047619047624,8.515128840125781,2.2036884353741497,588,21,115,8,9,188,94,147,0.151,0.8290000000000001,0.021,-0.9371,0,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,1,10,5,1,2,9,0,13,4,2,1,0,22,26,9,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,6,0,0,9,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,7,2,18,1,14,16,2,22,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,11,80,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965890312562946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31124441702519784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085723084692125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540175261847085,0.0,0.0,0.1199439558835095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139561972682747,0.13848212902897192,0.15511196962894785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828071021260001,0.0,0.2979421354645014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255308473576162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915009809342752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685730249124893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918418683048162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4471958271026072,0.11054755941630967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506420998956318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918989222920844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560401722039054,0.0,0.0,0.12900469461848535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132183210047884,0.0,0.0,0.09599180329412496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409600349114333,0.1019685856462745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766631148854758,0.07908051062628334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21529604787475268,0.10878535539852957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963398234846174,0.0,0.0,0.0873341686917509
mentalhealth,jamigeorge,2019/02/08,"Please help Okay, so this is going to sound really weird but it’s a problem thats taking over my entire life. To put things in to context, I am 17 and I do quite well at school but this is because I worked extremely hard to get the results I did. During the holidays, I secluded myself in my room and told myself to make sure I work hard and most importantly, don’t be arrogant. I cant think of anything I hate more than arrogance and this is where the problem started.


Now that schools started, every time I do anything, every time I enter a classroom, I hear the complete opposite of what I want to. My brain tells me that I’m the best person in the room; the exact thing I spent two months obsessively avoiding. I have to actively tell these thoughts to go away but its getting to a really bad point. 

I love working hard and thinking about stuff and I know that the only reason I have done well is because I’ve worked hard. It’s impossible to do this when my brain is constantly telling me that what I’m doings amazing as this holds me back from pushing myself. 

I hate it, I want it gone and I don’t know what to do. 

Please help :/ ",2.889240274599544,4.558625443478262,4.111922196796339,87.14294050343253,75.0,7.102974828375287,26.01830663615561,7.85451343220497,1.4312173913043469,892,32,184,13,19,292,126,230,0.184,0.628,0.188,0.0651,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,6,9,15,2,2,11,1,19,4,2,3,2,27,43,13,0,4,3,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,22,7,0,2,6,1,1,6,3,8,2,1,6,6,30,7,23,36,3,25,0,0,0,1,9,10,0,1,9,126,52,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791674685681082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585640713468273,0.07845138665454376,0.08518711212815977,0.12438771428571525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706956988055394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277886169411828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697189764418308,0.11025342541698034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440760856219926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171921932095675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066083272693994,0.0,0.11596699624559804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.365579581222063,0.20145830980568,0.0,0.0,0.11499026314450694,0.0,0.13677121451729918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214120014543637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206369662388433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092082084902795,0.0,0.06810287843526447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143585837882349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759506419131926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908481624608358,0.0,0.2239869362331687,0.09644716702989477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524943550429444,0.0,0.10256390493918732,0.0,0.10851678130081206,0.0,0.0,0.1307204202820911,0.10489930635711603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20651070269572766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442848577463924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167948994909482,0.0,0.0,0.09615791802592633,0.0,0.07671055192258483,0.0,0.26752460698467384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556254676623453,0.13074776626543466,0.0,0.08099692788135847,0.11898389250010485,0.0,0.0,0.09748983042501036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966418365679844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035468135175414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18346652949731912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971033997951333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnimatedPie,2019/02/08,"How can I stop getting anxiety over lists and schedules? So I'm 19, in college and I'm usually really busy or atleast I like to keep myself that way. I have college, basketball practice, workout, live streaming and youtube content creating. I do a mix of all of those. I can get a lot done in the day, but as soon as I make a list or a schedule, I get anxiety and start thinking how I'll never have time to get all that done. So I end up scrapping my lists. I still get stuff done on time, but I feel like I could be more successful at the things I love if I could organize them a bit more.

Should I just force myself to stick to a to-do list or schedule? Should I just forget planning it and just do it?",2.6097051597051566,3.6125667027027033,4.0883538083538085,89.71512285012287,74.54054054054055,7.543980343980343,28.31941031941032,8.00094639256281,1.6308837837837842,544,22,123,8,11,181,83,148,0.053,0.815,0.133,0.9352,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,9,4,0,0,8,0,14,1,0,3,3,30,27,17,0,5,9,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,19,4,14,19,6,20,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,5,15,88,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514812365078983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944664021667972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26246800332498993,0.0,0.0,0.10600338124967618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5046147807102724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558073784602407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310910085184088,0.11742411007674218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4293759368351708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609730565025342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060322737282162,0.0,0.1451394338003328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973929358916773,0.14834800426409908,0.0,0.10971652207024883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267702790146266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529797129313187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634009832733068,0.0,0.13126402542329288,0.13741851409607034,0.0,0.0,0.18816135913949425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919840317993863,0.10531999904184072,0.0,0.0,0.19168791639109484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181027479738544,0.0,0.0,0.1304671988632566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChronicNull,2019/02/08,"Has anyone ever gotten fully or mostly rid of depression? I feel like no matter how much better I start to feel, or how much I progress towards mental health, there is always a sliver of depression lingering in the background that is waiting for the right moment to drag me down.

I'm saying this as a non-medicated person. I wonder if the antidepressants help get rid of depression, or if cognitive behavioral therapy really helps. 

I really want this to just be gone forever, I hate thinking that I'm going to live the rest of my life with this attached to me. ",7.309748427672957,7.3751353207547155,8.220754716981133,67.59012578616354,63.716981132075475,11.59496855345912,32.76100628930818,11.20814326018867,3.9443383647798735,448,16,74,12,6,152,72,106,0.161,0.6970000000000001,0.142,-0.631,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,1,0,6,0,4,2,0,2,1,18,18,8,0,3,6,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,1,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,2,3,9,2,15,15,4,9,0,3,0,0,4,4,0,7,4,54,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471037144222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000802185363186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444180045394927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4804290412301723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681861961420037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18802567576035026,0.13282990323224125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714182905502844,0.0,0.10566947642699352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835694189573469,0.0,0.19763708880152853,0.0,0.0,0.2492526856127072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131329315032226,0.0908370143779479,0.0,0.1641814184010494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652860703593928,0.0,0.18737578820266615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27336292040873683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16234870601256784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382256817322617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878496621407726,0.0,0.14786063956923207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316036714500047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126295186191704,0.0,0.0,0.11913775860855623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966754831731064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016353914087249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,birdsies,2019/02/08,"Sometimes I feel the need to do actions compulsively. Can anyone help me understand what might be happening? Sometimes I will get panicky, tense feeling in my body and I will either bounce my leg hard, twist my hands roughly, sniffle/rub my nose, or in severe cases, beat my chest with one hand. This makes the feeling go away, but it will usually come back. I notice when I am entertained or focused, I will not have any of these feelings; if at any moment I become distressed or frustrated during it, the feeling will return. 


It’s not constant and it hasn’t affected my daily life too much, but it makes me feel like a freak when I punch myself in the chest to relive anxiety. It’s starting to bleed into task oriented anxiety, where if I get focused on completing a task and I don’t do it before bedtime, I’m crippled with anxiety and cannot sleep. I’m planning on seeing a therapist soon. Im in my twenties, diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My brother has OCD if that’s relevant? I’m just hoping I can find some sympathy and guidance here. Thanks. ",4.82632183908046,6.343361714285713,5.789477832512317,77.65925779967161,69.78817733990148,8.960131362889985,32.74515599343186,9.3871,3.211270870279145,840,39,148,18,15,277,122,203,0.155,0.696,0.14800000000000002,-0.1306,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,8,8,1,1,7,0,17,11,8,3,0,38,39,16,0,5,12,1,10,1,0,6,3,0,0,0,11,11,0,0,8,1,0,3,5,4,0,1,0,12,22,4,16,32,3,22,0,1,1,0,2,10,0,9,10,101,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824058750299548,0.0,0.4103910549312356,0.0,0.0,0.09377646875331924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600564866857253,0.10312631319954907,0.0,0.0,0.1481197055783447,0.11412216028803553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897175719031425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552837260656912,0.14061723941963236,0.1449308898890713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551322841660433,0.13612410864171334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068760601775817,0.09581192831307367,0.0,0.0,0.12257886647018446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013931705345262,0.0,0.07622076094267365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859763170012777,0.0,0.12014087959490165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989459400573124,0.0,0.0,0.13320665853394892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486743426887355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947295346234846,0.0655219141019526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904587976837572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14227503706438105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985901062047037,0.09944472416799167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152691048309778,0.0,0.0,0.09087993294857766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687245338636288,0.0,0.0,0.15151200579383206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342120600853983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652867315310624,0.0,0.094927431458405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347526061116385,0.0,0.15571808841162213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961865686718594,0.0,0.0,0.14770894921043276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kajikaj,2019/02/08,"Concerns about Citalopram So I've had chronic issues with sleeping due to anxiety, tried seeing my GP to get some sleep pills without opening up about anything, but the good doctor saw through my bullshit. For about a year and a half now I believe I've been suffering from Pure-Obsessional OCD, violent and disgusting intrusive thoughts keep me from going to sleep and from concentrating. I've managed to combat much of it on my own without qualified help, but my GP cracked me open and got me to open up about most of it.

As a sample while he's referring me to an actual psychiatrist, he prescribed me with a month and a bit's supply of citalopram, which I've been taking for exactly 16 days now. I realise it takes about 4-8 weeks to begin working properly, but recently I've begun feeling more paranoid about my thoughts, they fill more with more guilt and dread than usual, it's getting harder to push them aside. Will this pass?

tl;dr:

I've taken citalopram for 16 days to treat currently undiagnosed OCD and I believe it's making me more paranoid, will that subside?

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mentalhealth,thinkingbaby,2019/02/08,"do i want to break up/run away, or is it just my depression? I am a long time depressed/anxious lady (21). I struggle with validation, self-identity, body dysmorphia, panic attacks, authority and attachment. Been on meds for about 2 years. Bf (22) has been best friend and greatest support for \~3 years. really good guy, we have our ups and downs but we are very similar people and see eye to eye on most things. we usually live together but we long distance right now and we have been before. its really hard for us and we are always working through the kinks.

lately i have been feeling something i will get in waves once in a while, but for some reason i am taking it way more seriously now. I want to leave, not even just him, but everything. I have had plans for a long time, before i even knew him, to travel the country and the world and hike and camp and whatever. now that desire is growing even stronger. for the first time i am feeling really good about being able to care for myself. i'm cooking and cleaning and walking and singing and biking and organizing and laughing and being calm. i feel anxious around people still but thats just from my desperate need for validation and affirmation at every moment of every day lol aaaa. but i really feel strong! like i feel like a real person who can take care of them-self and be self sufficient.

but even I see the flaws in my reasoning. I text bf every day. we skype once a weekish. we are very invested in each others ideas and plans. plus idk if im even that independent, my roommates are the main reason i cook and clean on a regular basis. that's non necessarily a bad thing, but i'm starting to wonder if I even take care of myself for myself? or if i'm just taking care to keep people happy or maintain some nice image of myself. but even that i don't fully know

regardless of all those thoughts, a feeling is persisting. *i really want to run away.* I want to break up, i want to tell my parents to fuck off, i want to throw out my phone, i want to trade my car in for a truck or a van and i want to just keep going. i want to never see anyone i know again. i want to scream and sing and laugh alone forever. i don't want to impress people anymore. i don't feel like working on a relationship anymore. i don't feel like trying or interacting or being someone's anything. I want to belong to me and run away and have that be it.

but then i come back to reality. and i think of how much it hurts to wait for a text from him. and suddenly i could never dream of leaving. to be clear this is not about his personality or actions or how we interact at all. he makes me super happy and we have developed a strong connection after this long. we have the next years planned out and so on. i am more referring to a feeling of missing out, or maybe a need for self validation???

am i a terrible girlfriend? am i even in love? if i loved him would i even have these thoughts? is this a sign that its already over or that i'm fooling myself? i really do love him so much and could not imagine myself with anyone else in the whole world. but sometimes i also can't imagine myself with anyone. if someone could please explain to me what this feeling is I would love that haha. i feel really conflicted and lost and horrible and guilty but i have no one to talk to about it bc i have huge fears of having my relationship not being taken seriously (which links to my validation issues aaaa lol)

i don't know if i believe in that whole ""taking time to be single for yourself"" stuff, i don't want to give up and amazing relationship and then realize it was my depression pushing me away

​

tl;dr: i cant tell if my depression is making be feel disassociated from my relationship/current life, or if i am actually in need of some freedom",3.0570043103448263,4.9030826140583565,4.623255139257296,82.89984292108755,74.9814323607427,7.630271883289125,25.57435344827586,8.424957535022067,1.7408462201591512,2977,104,589,55,64,998,306,754,0.103,0.682,0.215,0.9983,2,1,1,0,0,0,92.0,13,0,0,12,31,46,2,3,25,3,62,11,3,8,5,170,134,76,0,31,40,1,13,4,4,3,1,1,2,5,31,57,2,4,30,7,2,11,15,17,2,2,11,19,92,29,95,108,17,80,0,6,5,5,46,34,1,24,36,426,123,3,0.04728026792257256,0.0,0.04613872123178858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896809858503805,0.05217495135089928,0.03781001317579096,0.03934097045487461,0.051228150540620083,0.057450700609136686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053413244959294524,0.09377864238442818,0.09917838795734388,0.04844422181024149,0.03890763196036781,0.04208946244999076,0.0,0.053788130363019916,0.17768547233801474,0.036355607595689836,0.03947704881723761,0.0,0.0,0.08046405129166159,0.05326867124532599,0.049617724224014836,0.0,0.0,0.05251771908854715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19282153684695366,0.0,0.0,0.04072776433426727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132483401172756,0.0,0.0,0.060983722822169385,0.0,0.12216727644376947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03949659697784008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810535394682919,0.0,0.1195069947180058,0.0,0.04249245615953347,0.0,0.0,0.053203446109815734,0.28687588889701765,0.10133109855279017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04021657174180415,0.0,0.0,0.036528617713204,0.04370984583033101,0.02470198856844989,0.04535554121602567,0.02687046583459983,0.07931289107267192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681489863648055,0.0,0.1006614487531762,0.042353833267573485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061450468487421,0.0533736675105934,0.05107080269108842,0.049348315911918635,0.0,0.08404974905334005,0.0,0.0,0.07795199629325615,0.0,0.053334201600176434,0.10012595399648852,0.0,0.0,0.03339545147735175,0.09239500275355528,0.0,0.041749342790294894,0.1673661971528488,0.0,0.0,0.05161199758455205,0.0,0.17068915098010531,0.0,0.06311989195122891,0.0,0.0474993840281606,0.0,0.05251771908854715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951287412088472,0.10517315873546408,0.07293091471589902,0.0,0.05028310131860087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070388455304488,0.03203833316728654,0.0,0.0,0.055473207304326526,0.052499142285543095,0.0,0.0,0.13111273854638242,0.08256661253008375,0.0,0.0518995361809978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053815295863832865,0.2120226521815644,0.14583596982572192,0.0,0.2030452544100838,0.0,0.040377090470882004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302875641210022,0.0,0.19729452354611465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012083516105421,0.03639866015169388,0.046761393928744635,0.0,0.033465216985800336,0.0,0.03775808303737832,0.0,0.0,0.04942760167942312,0.05412459506635143,0.0,0.05365308774201152,0.0,0.0,0.17774438687915525,0.03800208841144585,0.0826500762529873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282181826317186,0.030295286591239656,0.0,0.07507050294669347,0.11027801777397944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0321001983611303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056872340845009875,0.0,0.05207253541077482,0.07802234525269441,0.3625326511330575,0.03752887596161466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557346131968692,0.0,0.0,0.05127343372083045,0.06884119630581205,0.0,0.0,0.06717309159007638,0.0,0.057450700609136686,0.09134082719298636
mentalhealth,bjf1377,2019/02/08,"Difficulty balancing compassion with self-care Long story short, my sister-in-law is a real piece of work, but is currently living with us primarily so we can make sure her kids have some stability. She's been abusing Rx drugs, stealing money from family, and is generally a pathological liar. There was a couple months where we kicked her out (after she stole from us) and I basically told my wife ""never again"". I noticed that all of my anxiety that I had recently been feeling went away and things felt normal again.

For better or worse, I'm a huge pushover when it comes to my wife. She also has some bad mental health issues (as does her sister), so I tend to cave in situations where I know she'll get depressed if I say no. So I let her sister move back in because she was upset about the kids. 

As soon the three of them moved back in, my anxiety and depression went through the roof. This past morning, I had a full blown panic attack and wound up sitting in the shower for 45 minutes, doing everything in my power to not hurt myself. I haven't had any suicidal thoughts in months, and I've had 3 in the last 24 hours (not anything I act on anymore). If it wasn't for my valerian root supplement, I would've never made it through the day (don't know how or why that stuff works for me, but it does). Obviously that's concerning to me, but the other thing that worries me is the rage that my sister-in-law brings out in me. I had anger issues for a while before I met my wife, but I generally have total control of it. When her sister is doing dumb crap like swindling her grandma out of money, I visualize myself literally smacking some sense into her and forcibly removing her from our house. It makes my blood pressure spike, that sends the anxiety out of control, and the cycle just keeps going. 

I really want to be there for my wife and her plans for a well thought out intervention for her sister, but I feel like we've been down a similar road before and it didn't work. So I don't know if it's better for me in the long run to support her because I care about her mental well being, or if I should take some other approach that focuses more on making sure I don't go down another depression/anxiety spiral.

And sorry if any/all of this seems like rambling. It's late and I can't sleep and needed to vent.",8.212502840615642,6.153978856832971,8.50852184691664,73.16027476500362,63.0347071583514,11.644292944943704,34.75064559446338,10.290406445055957,3.27984156595393,1827,59,361,33,21,607,230,461,0.16699999999999998,0.727,0.106,-0.9879,3,0,1,0,0,2,55.0,5,0,1,9,22,25,6,3,19,0,33,8,3,8,7,76,63,37,1,9,16,8,3,3,0,2,5,1,1,2,24,24,0,3,9,0,2,13,12,14,2,1,20,4,63,11,56,38,9,63,0,3,0,0,37,27,2,13,25,256,87,3,0.0,0.1013213457675514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838635124289161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05815316359038775,0.08966998173171452,0.2616751039354268,0.0,0.08480794687066211,0.0,0.0,0.07037159635200807,0.0,0.0,0.09728570996793824,0.08034420052679855,0.13151158340666586,0.07140149129006257,0.10425835641429612,0.0,0.14553401101644825,0.0,0.0,0.15126221743458265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718828848790854,0.0,0.0,0.0736636399503886,0.0,0.0,0.19182479074796133,0.0,0.0946207716726445,0.0,0.055150130067744635,0.0,0.14730796730887033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496695857376742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917030391573624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685540913695381,0.0,0.08061597455064122,0.0,0.0864779532078621,0.061091965817281685,0.0821078545328267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044678081935224524,0.0,0.0972003424638649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089849483801604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421509443402563,0.09867288140121608,0.09154562520970032,0.0,0.0,0.17851098064987894,0.0,0.07600970189979797,0.0,0.0,0.140990498305577,0.06970617588072757,0.09646469645305956,0.0,0.0,0.08744492816792751,0.0,0.12533499556087607,0.0,0.07551135216332186,0.1513562490902561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091640401789857,0.17124587135110705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235810565711496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651458741755435,0.18177792062707426,0.0,0.06340832291495561,0.13190895033647415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378658833575102,0.0,0.09735944645081336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033348101852532,0.0,0.0,0.08163378745998609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733484376410084,0.05478312808728075,0.0,0.08443579113077412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680049967550708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784968598989214,0.08921084292402721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612249443654798,0.08557680375884162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572709257049268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789426816324713,0.09353958046854212,0.09704146059224762,0.16119383730415576,0.0,0.0642966719744659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362479323898045,0.0,0.0,0.13577878850833575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171329094345514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20572814185225075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050438989640399085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377659226448326,0.15854660841903606,0.07716402783394713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18676791549881408,0.08684468002470956,0.08714713744071023,0.06074743500077865,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bounty913,2019/02/08,"I have no idea what to do a out this So late at night or when I'm alone in general I get weird thoughts voices and images in my head. And they are only triggered when I smell a certain scent or hear a certain sound. It gives me really bad anxiety and I have no idea what to do about it. This keeps me awake everytime I have to deal with it.


The only way I can describe what I'm experiencing in my head is like 90 voices are all trying to talk to me at once and I'm trying to pay attention to all of them. Then I'll see a picture of a demon head staring at me. 

Basically does this warrant professional help cause most of the time I just deal with it and move on like nothing happens. I've been dealing with it for years.",1.7121028971028984,3.197387383116886,3.741688311688314,89.33582917082916,77.76623376623377,6.816383616383617,23.534465534465536,7.61054688173877,0.9089236763236764,563,18,128,8,13,192,89,154,0.1,0.821,0.078,-0.3338,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,5,6,0,0,7,0,10,3,3,2,4,25,20,11,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,11,9,0,1,4,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,9,15,4,23,18,3,17,1,0,2,0,9,8,0,3,9,83,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113650908657064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116338636912876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184306762322265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990737161892884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513334251915632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770182475665748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624090842017303,0.1399866109813924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904288913938422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4492900409334221,0.0,0.1644704939316387,0.0,0.09781188681610943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294679604800151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297067481542508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461217155025448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258526037075014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509745717633172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694273675517254,0.0,0.14002102777535985,0.0,0.0,0.1554076429613976,0.0,0.2219683334086384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093484663408973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628503838306894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729070857286758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584984998991815,0.08509128961992495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981499000972051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583017243218835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939722946021956
mentalhealth,Draegoron,2019/02/08,"How can i find a good therapist? Also, if I was interested in trying a particular medication for treatment, how would i bring up the idea without sounding like im just doctor shopping? I was hoping to find a therapist of some sort to begin working on finding out what exactly I need help with. I've been to a psychiatrist for a few months about 6 years ago, and I really didn't gel with the guy. Very impersonal, not very talkative and also gave me medication that wasn't really in the direction I was trying to go. I want a relationship like what Jennifer Melfi and Tony Soprano had- just that sheer openness that you really can't have with someone else. 
I know my father has OCD, and I've noticed some tendencies that match his in my own behavior. I also seem to have a lot of difficulty with focus, especially if the activity is not what I want to do(i.e. schoolwork, much to my detriment). Not that I think I know what's best for me, but I've had a few experiences with illicit use of Adderall. When I used it those few times, the only way I can describe how it made me feel was ""this is what I think normal people feel like all the time"". I had more self confidence(usually near zero) and I was able to actually make myself get up and do the tasks I had to do. 

As a side question, how would you guys suggest I bring up that I'm interested in trying out this particular medication? Like I said, I want a truthful relationship with this counselor and I'm hoping that by being open, they might work with me a bit and at least test to see if I'd qualify for that treatment route.",5.601698335295109,5.866210629392973,6.9702001008912085,74.43114343366405,67.30670926517571,10.423339498907012,31.17016983352951,10.307518312809881,3.070134824281149,1249,46,246,30,19,428,163,313,0.032,0.862,0.106,0.9605,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,1,3,11,11,0,0,18,0,26,4,0,8,3,66,53,21,0,12,10,1,2,4,0,3,4,2,0,3,19,19,0,0,12,1,1,3,7,0,0,1,15,5,34,11,40,34,13,26,0,0,1,0,15,15,0,12,11,175,53,5,0.10090300687786133,0.0,0.09846677927906247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894444274581684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24207629443492024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589148049749852,0.0,0.11015994986096588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327850316598526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429151465540745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987025024955495,0.0,0.0,0.10203918414715188,0.07208512827491823,0.0,0.0,0.2766705608227995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271765647565586,0.0,0.0573455041193946,0.08463265485841433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981968151445087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676331585661304,0.0,0.0,0.20043890644005968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390721280889594,0.10899256247100396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090730747694226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19718444941110516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857841281218853,0.0,0.0954768648404718,0.06735354061566169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049474916841793,0.0,0.1070421447274558,0.0,0.0,0.08053981741907063,0.0,0.07417532010400142,0.07481830106257648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886352300341024,0.0,0.11487874211107173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674128359424319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995344009569766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130344604411628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939231499253443,0.0,0.0,0.2166641349813128,0.0,0.0,0.0959818660969208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804066325253155,0.09185830780969913,0.10526384230171466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549479028497822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23431233616754535,0.0,0.1293091450449762,0.0,0.0,0.11767470950193497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551955466822625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429560142675915,0.0,0.16651109618397308,0.17854562328997362,0.08009211021127326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097266897898061,0.0,0.14691718151218974,0.0,0.0,0.14335720207466818,0.0,0.0,0.0649782281943124
mentalhealth,LuckyClover3128,2019/02/08,Why do people with depression have a hard time getting out of bed? I have been wondering why it is a symptom of depression. I did research on the mental health problem and I never got why articles never answered my question. Can anyone help me out?,3.112127659574469,5.822049148936178,4.646212765957447,78.49400000000003,78.78723404255321,7.164255319148936,30.676595744680853,8.238735603445708,2.87668,198,10,32,4,5,66,37,47,0.23,0.718,0.052000000000000005,-0.8466,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,2,10,10,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,1,5,0,6,7,0,6,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,2,3,25,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669055107289372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613848838180094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960699373115557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778880555750875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793128029289868,0.0,0.0,0.2229977277969695,0.0,0.0,0.1406182991157685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114197050095265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236070768117359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544247188951906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074138860889595,0.0,0.0,0.23501362210022156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21805288814560775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233065740175883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5679104886817912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22750908951483445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ggukkie-,2019/02/08,"My Journey I've been struggling with things for a very long time now. Ever since I was a very small child. I was hurt and abused by my family and that's all I've ever known. I recently found out that I am struggling with PTSD and depression. I'm still very young, I'm 15 years old and I'm trying to overcome my pain. I've grown to realize that my sadness and fear does not define me as a person and because of that I'm trying to help myself along with the people in my life who are trying to as well. 

I have surrounded myself with positive people who are always there for me during any time of need. I recently reached out to my school counselors and they made sure to let me know they are always there. I also have very supportive friends who are always willing to listen to me cry about literally everything in my life. With all this support, I have been pushing myself harder to be happier despite all the chaos and sadness in my life. Instead of feeling sad and locking myself in my room, I go out for walks or redirect my sadness into something I'm passionate about like music and art. I've also been struggling with school and grades but I decided to finally reach out to my teachers who were all understanding. I do admit, it does get hard. I do have a fair share of bad days but I'm proud of myself for trying to be better and not letting myself fall down a deep, dark hole. I'm proud of myself for pushing through and I believe anyone can push through as well. There is always an end to something including pain and darkness. You just have to work for it. I'm looking forward to how I will grow as a person.",4.8872336996337005,5.4811532369230775,5.6586373626373625,82.05774358974361,68.93846153846154,8.282783882783884,29.63003663003663,8.269060116576782,2.0451421245421244,1282,46,250,17,21,419,157,325,0.117,0.743,0.14,0.7138,0,0,2,0,1,0,23.0,0,1,2,4,19,25,0,4,9,0,26,6,0,2,7,50,47,24,0,1,6,0,2,1,1,2,5,1,1,3,12,26,0,0,8,1,0,10,2,13,2,0,8,4,39,12,53,33,4,39,0,6,1,1,15,15,0,1,17,176,51,4,0.0,0.11057349237962648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926208551106726,0.3106116503489436,0.0,0.0,0.06346341279225498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525420023576063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779215099567316,0.05688934790175532,0.0,0.0,0.1051440120572564,0.0,0.08253735439519139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251185832146884,0.060186157621429134,0.0,0.0803796883928779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333664611989998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265722405596873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883351601637545,0.0,0.0,0.08387345166174859,0.0,0.08797741265795775,0.10501526785781988,0.047187338598781034,0.0,0.0,0.1022317073120362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232477584995506,0.07210176885365871,0.0,0.0487578556618718,0.0,0.053038090075227126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359983178945017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255300413148436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990510306422244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512883429511394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908599027217004,0.19775216862201864,0.04559331524719827,0.0,0.0,0.0825886634677431,0.07836852309615479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830527580620891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919844636417306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792767345198032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19860629548300585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939800299402396,0.16297355838684796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909057724344257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18429207066762812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18889742091582734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719844651034632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436905059723443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452854079759576,0.0,0.0,0.2926870274091099,0.0,0.0,0.21180557999933536,0.08795661667228839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062000213845218574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883576555793127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534430512057615,0.0,0.0,0.09715341079674457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080077733571978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678186834581825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794086848045201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009749452587055
mentalhealth,Dontknowhattodo111,2019/02/08,"I don't know what to do I recently turned 16 and am a guy. I have been struggling with depression for the past 3 years but it hasn't got really bad until this year. This is gonna sound really stupid but please dont judge too hard. I had my birthday with just my family. I had fun but a couple hours after everyone left I wanted a piece of cake. (no body wanted any at the time of the ""party"" because it was midday). I saw my cake ""Happy 16 b-day anon"". I saw that felt normal ish but had a strong compulsion to take a photo of it. Which is really weird because I dont take photos of almost anything. After I took the photo I started feeling really really sad. But I still wanted cake so I started to take the candles out. I started crying, but kept taking out the candles and got a plate. Still crying I took my piece and went to my room to which I cried more. I don't even know why but I just did. I felt terrible and I cried more than I ever had in my entire life. I have been suicidal for about a year but the only thing that has been holding me back was my only dream I guess you could say to be in the military. I have been holding back on getting help for so long because if I get treatment or report mental illness for more than 6 months I get disqualified from the military, the only thing holding me back. In addision my parents love me but they wouldnt really understand why and if I tell them they would know how to react and all it would do is make things awkward in my family. I don't really know what to do, sorry about the shitty spelling and grammar. Any advice would be great.",3.4849130434782616,4.28449100909091,5.095349143610015,84.0865019762846,72.24242424242425,8.163372859025033,24.347826086956523,8.456263369488248,1.4272292490118574,1243,33,259,20,23,422,158,330,0.162,0.72,0.118,-0.9403,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,3,1,15,13,1,2,18,0,35,4,1,3,2,53,69,23,1,11,14,1,4,0,0,5,2,2,1,1,15,11,0,4,8,1,0,3,8,8,0,0,21,8,44,5,34,40,6,34,0,2,2,1,10,10,0,5,21,185,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078940326093303,0.0,0.0,0.08089262166596868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987057822291328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647762137348777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18635168948430528,0.06745052762111625,0.14773391329783175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973183072472507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449874481490668,0.08938498143280793,0.35494583896249826,0.052098426856811146,0.0,0.0695783795146048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18935442082958606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335648629292467,0.07307295342297784,0.0,0.07719172930721288,0.0,0.0,0.15231026467056485,0.0,0.040846370755538514,0.0,0.15512891985906774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266175318686841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921927522858706,0.0890636706773302,0.08899170994082711,0.07998798563130907,0.0,0.08599512923244389,0.07236580459447121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414721987930353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795550968278968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758515176556858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777109199866476,0.0,0.05705950393407301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714905156421553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290991625355049,0.0,0.05392335728043606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814103806258072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448031254617907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791503018874092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18431760003642925,0.0,0.0,0.08970009037934268,0.0,0.07711662510685494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867560275100804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622621291546597,0.0,0.07976358138992716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424197631065758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043008465026008,0.1715361160681609,0.0,0.12902700172060624,0.0,0.0,0.08445205283095299,0.0,0.08836361737081999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429553988636733,0.0,0.07060800412156515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161006138310366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04710528463197721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950602874190685,0.0,0.08786883284884606,0.0,0.08409807281802242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294392466258332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488675794570453,0.14578839452039885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17215802366591124,0.0,0.0,0.1560650345480218
mentalhealth,etherealsunflower,2019/02/08,"How to help my little sister who has an eating disorder? My little sister is 11 years old and I believe she has an eating disorder.  She has been eating less and less since August/September and has lost 17 pounds in 4 months.  She won't eat meat and will only eat salad for lunch/dinner and cereal for breakfast.  She's very moody and aggressive when I try to talk to her and she isn't usually like this.  She gets defensive and angry when I try to get her to eat more.  My little sister used to eat so much and loved meat!  Now she won't even touch meat and will push it to the side of her plate.  She only eats a quarter of what she used to.  She watches food ASMR to satisfy her hunger and every time she looks in the mirror she lifts up her shirt to look at her stomach and says she is fat (when she is not).  Whenever I change my clothes, she always looks at my body (she might be comparing?).  A lot of her friends are really skinny so I think by being with them, she might've gotten the idea that she must be skinny like them.  She is so pale and thin that it's scary and I am so terrified for her.  I want to help her so badly but whenever I try to talk to her or show my support for her she pushes me away.  I can't get through to her.  How can I help my little sister?  I want to help her so badly!!",2.0386230922362323,3.3472631277372287,3.6081486396814846,91.37684804246851,76.48175182481751,6.8796284007962845,19.753815527538155,7.520522993642371,0.3511591240875913,1003,20,228,13,22,333,133,274,0.103,0.809,0.08800000000000001,-0.4882,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,1,15,11,2,0,7,0,23,19,6,4,1,30,38,27,0,3,3,4,2,2,1,6,1,1,0,0,7,15,15,1,2,1,0,2,5,6,0,1,3,7,54,5,31,26,5,23,0,1,4,1,49,12,0,3,11,158,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868635742413058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755634724417504,0.0,0.13784787989512626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930030690743068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169196343424392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732459524192197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892137921023153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6757358144652138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452202357443405,0.0,0.06955005650152978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981709117748197,0.0,0.06377620235211234,0.0,0.12938340841226795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22132012085967734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318638460823926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065734156982239,0.3309382065662445,0.0,0.0,0.2079580098996256,0.0,0.09011064222556947,0.07017916213839766,0.07450258532697313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514027815953173,0.0,0.0,0.06588884248166538,0.0,0.06068210903595135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661999861086847,0.0,0.0,0.12556259769679146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288221523396823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564529994814086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828436838914992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367423118814842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269754138302176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289327789865241,0.0,0.0,0.048134268532702335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813355180552422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425895388848447,0.09091470642056823,0.0681105553718167,0.09737762699851248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315805746064431
mentalhealth,WeirdAutumnEdition,2019/02/09,I don't know what to do I'm on the edge of losing my shit. I have no one to talk to and I'm so fucking sick of it. I'm lonely and fucking pissed off. I'm trapped in this goddamn house because I have nowhere to go and quite frankly I just want to die. I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm angry. And I just want everything to stop.,-2.760509090909093,-1.0895544933333312,0.2850909090909113,105.16254545454548,100.6,3.260606060606061,17.484848484848484,4.851557810540192,-1.014733333333333,243,8,67,1,11,84,44,75,0.451,0.515,0.034,-0.9899,0,3,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,2,3,7,4,0,1,0,4,6,2,0,0,10,17,5,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,7,0,1,0,0,6,0,11,17,0,5,0,3,0,2,1,3,4,0,1,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441397770843496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26289332369736823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276565609012216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4683576370307425,0.0,0.0,0.1439605613465186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29228299069992186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392112466965972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833864399405524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164780304740276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694238405295471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600166379862263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21177651772153536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035990746765276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911398530585799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988148016076184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MieleDarling,2019/02/09,"What should I be looking for in a therapist/mental health professional for my grandmother? Details inside My grandmother has some major problems that need to be addressed. She's been prone to anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, mostly manifesting in some mild paranoia (always making sure her windows were *completely* covered after dark even though she lives way out in the country, not leaving her nice jewelry in the house if she was gone overnight, stuff like that) but it's been slowly getting worse over the past few years.

She used to have really bad night terrors after her mother died and as of right now is having daily visual hallucinations which we suspect are tied to some kind of repressed trauma in her past. She's been to a doctor and even had a 10 day psych evaluation last summer that ruled out dementia and any physical causes we could think of and is currently taking medication for depression and anxiety but nothing specifically for the hallucinations as far as I know since they only occur in her home and the doctors couldn't see for themselves she was having any. These hallucinations are causing her to lose sleep which is in turn leaving her with very little energy or appetite (which leaves her with even less energy) and more recently she's been getting confused a lot, possibly from the combination of stress and sleep deprivation.

She also goes to a therapy group a few days a week but that doesn't seem to be helping much beyond just getting out of the house for a few hours so my parents and I discussed finding her a personal therapist to figure out the root of her problems and possibly help with medication if that's necessary (we've also brought it up to her and she's completely on board with it).

So my question here is what should we be looking for? I assume a pyschiatrist is what we need but is that right? Should we look for someone who specializes in a specific area of pyschiatry? And if so, which one?

No one in my family has really ever dealt with mental health issues like this so we're a little out of our depth here, I'd appreciate any advice you can give me! (I'm also in the US for reference)",8.50966643092881,8.029016329207924,8.502956152758133,68.3657590759076,61.45049504950496,11.952663837812352,36.56482791136256,11.303756567709739,4.236386751532296,1743,70,298,43,21,568,210,404,0.155,0.8009999999999999,0.044,-0.9939,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,7,1,1,1,17,18,0,4,21,0,33,8,2,5,2,71,53,34,1,12,10,2,0,2,0,3,6,0,3,1,20,28,0,1,10,0,0,2,4,12,0,2,10,4,40,6,60,34,12,46,0,4,4,0,39,26,0,13,19,226,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085848005389892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19851595312578546,0.06885134025593051,0.0,0.0,0.1688104495650441,0.0,0.12660099986552456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908949344636263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700059686785732,0.0,0.0,0.17351531321108574,0.0,0.0,0.06606598590628436,0.0,0.0,0.10672871059240173,0.0,0.14253809910829773,0.0,0.08587733349899379,0.0,0.0,0.1693881719501608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163958952141772,0.07484853736033148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800560947336738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562838844091396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969418397102958,0.07937754876531086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591035845127742,0.0,0.0,0.11092586299706657,0.0,0.08300103244923689,0.0,0.08148818896999993,0.1909556584808149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636537560266669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861672752768671,0.04547506376820956,0.06744907276681485,0.0,0.2628483504862685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808510783920486,0.16586655573596487,0.0730662760140403,0.0732276482651187,0.20845751959347736,0.09257166165194257,0.0,0.07034773064802825,0.0,0.0,0.05523362931065095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667158752748151,0.08338855390883171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060827865872735164,0.12271029165709828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776515603073193,0.0,0.07939706435128259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214172668485282,0.06293209788413623,0.0,0.0,0.09187969353202773,0.0,0.15798093070090904,0.0,0.07225065710579064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18656747170749247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583535849223929,0.0,0.0,0.09269451064143276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601847386020083,0.0,0.08170173945344426,0.0,0.0937351415597322,0.1413293450777457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593788677515057,0.07532889401637212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844838565381499,0.0,0.16561161162414054,0.0,0.0701104576155612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478531796305717,0.0,0.09472442769052422,0.0,0.0,0.07798717060948485,0.0,0.062214729927091074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462731682711252,0.19214907784345125,0.0,0.05302032616701546,0.08129757164834664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000393866970045,0.0,0.0,0.09953330701799816,0.07146601761158211,0.0,0.06827415514216588,0.0,0.06567996107822444,0.06637388822495073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432529170321668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05328574172258131
mentalhealth,pen_gal,2019/02/09,"Bad weekend...and me rambling about it 

I couldn’t make myself go to school even when I’m in danger of failing. I’m super behind it’s almost funny. I felt like shit. I couldn’t study the day before so I was super  anxious and felt that if I went I would freeze and make a fool of myself  in the middle of the class. Sadly I need assistance and participation in that class or else i fail. Not going made me really mad with myself.

Instead of studying to make up for the lost day I did nothing. I stayed at my bed all day and watched ODAAT. But that only made more sad because that family has a really good and open relationship and support and stuff...

At night I got really strong wave of (idk how to describe it) feeling of wanting to die (nothing new but I don’t like them). I cried on my bathroom floor  as silently as I could while hugging my poor cat. She’s the only living thins that was seen me like that. I hurt my leg because I don’t know how to deal with myself when I’m like that.
That was Friday   

Today  I woke up later than intended and still feeling Ike  shit.  I’ve done nothing all day. I haven’t left my room. I’m going to take a shower at least and change pijamas. 

I’m so disappointed in me. Why do I do this to myself?  I also treated my family bad and now my sister is mad at me. I’m tired of my shit.

I’m sorry for the weird formatting and maybe what I say doesn’t make any sense English isn’t my first language and feels are hard :c 
I wanted to vent a little, I’m a bit stressed 
Also if you took the time to read all this bull thanks 



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mentalhealth,Smiley-_-Face,2019/02/09,"How do i move forward I deal with depression and im sitting alone in my room trying to just do a little bit of school, but I can't. For some reason I can almost never bring myself to do school work. Then when I do its slow and takes the whole day. I know baby steps and all that but I've been my room for the past 7 hours trying to do anything and it's not working out.",-0.3894444444444432,1.5312901097560996,1.7779674796747995,98.54331978319786,86.92682926829269,4.132249322493226,15.208672086720867,5.033348758259628,-1.0763783197831978,287,5,69,1,9,96,59,82,0.054000000000000006,0.946,0.0,-0.431,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,2,2,17,11,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,1,0,9,0,9,10,4,17,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,8,47,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080127253418396,0.21514680777884315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094502454430402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267885978980107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396939712570755,0.2141616790911316,0.17891852247620502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045733240583875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22438527300808989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416359934388387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820117053720652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207853218773901,0.0,0.0,0.16021505779183948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19830287394913712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21358220470039227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.420469998398504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618796131627755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820716101308866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319243940996505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30246148118558075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SirBobTheDog,2019/02/09,"I don’t know what to do,or what is wrong with me mentally I feel like nothing matters anymore and I don’t want to do anything.  I’ve thought about what would happen if I went suicide but I don’t want to go through all the trouble or be a burden to my family and friends; it doesn’t feel worth it.  I don’t think I would ever actually go suicide and I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it for longer than 5 seconds.  It’s more like a quick thought of “everything would be easier if I just didn’t exist in the world”.  I don’t really seem to have a purpose and nothing feels like it’s changing.  It’s just day after day of the same things like I’m going in a loop waiting for weekends to come so I can have a break from everything.  And when weekends come I find myself waiting for vacations.  I don’t know if I have depression but I don’t think I do, because most of the time I’m ok, if I’m busy doing something.  But if I’m left to thinking I begin to think thoughts like what I just described.",2.870623052959502,3.556553850467296,4.420728971962621,88.77863239875391,73.57943925233644,7.388909657320872,28.752647975077892,7.554174236665415,1.51365769470405,780,31,176,9,15,262,99,214,0.119,0.735,0.147,0.424,0,0,1,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,0,0,10,11,0,0,9,1,23,0,0,0,3,49,54,16,2,10,12,0,3,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,2,16,2,1,6,10,4,0,1,6,3,21,7,23,43,4,22,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,8,16,114,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.11258984662785776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442149545051646,0.0,0.0,0.09494420734081392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033183501264245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205198264501466,0.1987715574887391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881530775094848,0.0,0.09937275062773336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20872749347688796,0.0,0.0,0.2073841231016441,0.0,0.1087657549280456,0.0,0.17501196104830516,0.16484856305944506,0.0,0.0,0.10545111842983453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913882647930191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671166948504146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020261751967664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681471690414853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535582027569872,0.0,0.0,0.2818332116570457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627136919363112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22141181131816565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391250080329785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503352362605113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882169801262753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25240414550648704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665035673182527,0.3696398144325469,0.0,0.36638104340095984,0.06727638291718642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610292046025366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069542460542054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458783385537891,0.12614499925434386,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ollieees,2019/02/09,"19 years old and I feel like I have no future. After a very difficult year, I feel like I’ve lost myself. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my life, but only because of how self-destructive it is, I indulge myself constantly, whether it be drugs, food, clothes, but none of this is productive. I feel like I can’t find any meaning to life, like I’ve tried to, and I just can’t. Nothing feels real to me anymore, and it makes me sad, but I carry on indulging myself because it’s the only thing that makes me feel better. A year ago I was in a totally different place, I felt motivated, I genuinely felt special, like I was on this planet for a reason, to do something big and great, and after a difficult year, all that’s gone. I have zero motivation, I enjoy things in the moment but don’t plan ahead because I don’t see the point. I literally take nothing seriously. In the space of a year, I’ve failed my first year at uni, became hooked to MDMA (which I no longer use), had a cancer scare with my mum (who I’m very close to) , been used and fucked over by people who I thought cared about me but we’re actually just using me, had to endure so much pressure, my dad is emotionally abusive to my mum, my relationship ended, and it’s all fucked me up. The only thing that kept me going all these years was my confidence that I was gonna do something great with my life, and now that confidence is all gone and I feel like I’m left with nothing. I feel like people don’t understand me and in all honesty I don’t understand myself, I just feel very very lost. I have great friends who I love very much, but when they’re gone and I’m left with my own thoughts it’s often a very dark place. I’m not manically depressed however, I’ve accepted this as the reality of my life and I get by. I don’t even think I have a mental illness and although I’m considering seeing a doctor, I don’t know if it would make a difference, I’ve just seen life for what it is; shit. I’m so unhappy with myself in so many ways and yet I have no motivation at all to make changes, as much as I want to. I’m also constantly stressed and find myself playing with my hair and pulling it out on almost a daily basis.

So yea, vent over!",3.86348684210526,4.3407889013157925,5.372649122807019,83.6162105263158,71.17105263157895,8.536140350877194,27.48070175438596,8.648137234880735,1.7941154385964908,1713,56,370,28,30,581,195,456,0.14800000000000002,0.657,0.195,0.9724,2,0,3,0,0,0,58.0,0,0,0,10,16,34,3,3,18,1,30,15,2,12,7,82,80,35,0,3,13,3,11,7,1,2,9,0,0,0,26,24,1,1,24,1,0,5,14,15,0,2,18,14,58,19,45,59,12,49,0,5,3,3,9,22,3,3,28,235,84,5,0.0,0.07761977245984064,0.06392924465946409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807151130833025,0.0,0.06559976111219239,0.0,0.0,0.05238908921531458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04454969771188493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496926673268891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980461531492448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793911840639673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679278746573594,0.0,0.06930190681825843,0.0,0.0,0.14158814418915608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056424491884798623,0.0,0.0,0.13689001502879056,0.0,0.06705324115709588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597191259551819,0.0,0.0,0.07369100989424318,0.0580232638520559,0.0,0.0,0.04326936972144568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649944688333059,0.23400520640243985,0.1258015857907159,0.0,0.11975165703879745,0.05572358716511879,0.07921611010606285,0.0,0.05061360342276927,0.12112764955390437,0.06845354308084714,0.0,0.03723138696939808,0.0,0.0,0.21667818646057493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03600310909998193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235569447716254,0.0,0.2313616341124285,0.22403741396889826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430258981115065,0.0,0.059126197055312,0.0,0.17491629189969318,0.06641782877045392,0.0,0.07136063814573569,0.0,0.0,0.06601963703387231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444742751212667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18857859230023846,0.0,0.06874272999144976,0.0,0.0,0.14947210613460826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083409895991064,0.0,0.13689001502879056,0.0,0.06192903005243595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745658120522438,0.0,0.06735617536444513,0.0,0.0703342517931667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558789715054635,0.0,0.10440750313131314,0.0,0.06834221630454483,0.0,0.06724605667551596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086707164788583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504258072280179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0492560872615388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056770807071033,0.04197677648650478,0.0,0.1040167655596324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444776400355055,0.0,0.0,0.1363984346962744,0.0,0.16974130099910306,0.0,0.32432040585867705,0.03864006019002023,0.051999548949175314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04653710475872363,0.07162594817767098,0.0,0.2953083623462417
mentalhealth,Androneda,2019/02/09,"Please help. My schizophrenic brother is driving my family crazy. I'm at my wit's end, I feel like I'm about to break. I can't do this anymore, I can't deal with the constant awkward tension when he's near me. I don't know how to talk to him, my family is walled off to discussions about mental health, so nobody brings up the topic. He kept it hidden for some time, but revealed his diagnosis not long ago. I wish I didn't know.

He has multiple obsessions that are making me angry, confused, and giving me a strong desire to move out, but I'm not in a position to do that. I'm constantly on edge, and my ultimate fear is his voices will tell him to hurt my family. I don't know if I can do this. I don't feel safe in my own home.

The first obsession: religion. He was an atheist for years, now he found God and goes around talking about love, and goes to church. What the hell? He's creepy--he walks around with headphones and stares off into the distance, can barely hold a conversation. Talking to him is painful, so I actively avoid him. 

Everywhere I turn, he rips open curtains and blinds to pour light into the house despite the fact that all of us have expressed that we don't want light especially in the morning. Talking to him accomplishes nothing, it's like a brick wall, he's set in his ways and will not change.

He's inconsiderate of everyone and a complete asshole. He bangs dishes like a thunderstorm in the early hours of the morning when we are all sleeping, or does laundry at those times. What kind of asshole does this to his family? How can he sit there and preach love when he's a dick? 

I don't feel any love for my mentally ill brother. I know how callous this post sounds, but the above is all true. I deal with issues of my own such as severe anxiety and depression. I can't handle all of this. I cannot live treading on eggshells for the rest of the time I am forced to live with him. 

Please help me, I'm begging anyone to give me advice or their own experiences on how to cope. Please tell me how to live with this, how to enjoy life when my home is toxic and I feel unsafe.",3.879788732394367,4.848248105633804,4.794948356807513,85.97692957746479,71.46478873239437,8.121314553990612,26.641314553990608,8.447377352677275,1.6149207511737091,1647,53,349,26,30,536,203,426,0.146,0.7040000000000001,0.15,0.5704,0,1,0,0,0,0,52.0,3,0,1,3,20,22,1,7,21,0,30,12,2,7,6,65,55,30,0,4,9,2,4,3,0,2,6,2,3,0,15,24,1,4,10,0,0,4,13,11,0,1,4,10,48,11,56,49,9,48,3,2,2,4,46,22,2,5,20,215,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589164383401551,0.07791512649345396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059772774192786135,0.0,0.06724073951323024,0.0,0.0871699138117361,0.061459420541893336,0.0,0.0,0.15649340706417475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298306027051156,0.0,0.09215802394591012,0.1899702266382896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123528872830355,0.0757053040894823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383799950832894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785039239968046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398906932244532,0.0,0.0859798445326051,0.3314447672761421,0.09890823099930213,0.17777286223521174,0.0627934243356173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476489322943497,0.0,0.09637420132491267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863705927745862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343008825258377,0.0,0.0,0.11783061850994354,0.0,0.17633512557330494,0.0,0.08656054997601569,0.10142099749705348,0.09409524170584102,0.0,0.0,0.09174132479253212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153089339911934,0.19322292370099325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620840428687662,0.12882567216605229,0.0,0.23284320524547905,0.07778581887017377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379906266696737,0.0,0.05867173379029793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17715841226292287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342028818422073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433926000316824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352829237242208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28945256493825344,0.0,0.0,0.08418074746320316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929825898780507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796018395915968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28259217128882386,0.15365119051249207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375982836177904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560637596357743,0.0,0.0,0.1057289148931929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051843754529395714,0.06976831397526169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107687407594927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056602596863266234
mentalhealth,sebastianebby,2019/02/09,"Don’t really know where to post this or what to do? I need help and my meds are making it so much worse You can look through my post history for context but long story short. I’m trans, and when I was outed my mom signed me up with a therapist who agreed with her views and, because she thought being trans was caused by depressive disorder (I know this because of her search history) got me on Sertraline. I am almost 14.

I’ve been on it for a month,  each tablet is 50mg, I usually get one and a half at night, and sometimes in the morning I believe. It’s hard for me to remember because I’m just handed a bunch of pills every morning when I wake up and I’m still groggy. I know I do get them sometimes in the morning. I started with a lower dose but now I’m taking more.

Anyway, a couple weeks in I started getting really bad hand tremors. I’m an artist so this made me really frustrated, but if the medicine was helping I figured I could make sacrifices. Problem is it wasn’t making anything better. About a week or two ago I got really scared at night and I carved into my skin on my leg with a sharp piece of plastic, and I’ve been doing that almost every day since. It makes me feel a lot better, but I feel really bad when I don’t have the chance to cut. I can’t stop thinking about suicide. I don’t want to die but I also really want to . I am also constantly in a state of unrest. Like the feeling before I’m about to get a panic attack, just constantly. 

I’ve told my mom I hate taking the medicine and when she asks why I don’t know how to tell her. I hate my therapist with all my passion so I don’t really talk to him, and I don’t want to talk to him either. I think the last session I went to a few days ago will be my final one. I don’t know how to get off the medicine or if I should. I want to stop cutting and having suicidal thoughts. 





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mentalhealth,Le_Queer_Deer,2019/02/09,"What's the point I was battling over whether to put this on r/vent or r/mentalhealth so sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this. 

It's currently 3:56.a.m. . I've got school on Monday.  But what's the point? What's the point of living. I don't matter, not really. Sure there'd be a few people who would be upset if I died,  but it wouldn't matter.  
I've written countless suicide notes over the years. I never scrap them, I just occasionally go back and edit them. It's 3:56 a.m., why shouldn't I just watch more fuckin YouTube to help me forget. Why the fuck should I sleep? What's the fucking point? I'm just a fat useless fuck who can't do anything right. I can't starve myself for long enough or stop myself from eating,  I can't succeed in life,  I have no friends,  I don't have the guts to get help because some stupid fuckin Dr that made a stupid assumption that really fucked be up.  I can't take criticism, I can't stand confrontation. I can't even fucking send out a thank you note for Christmas without my heart feeling like it's going to explode. I have nothing to give to anyone.  
Why the fuck should I live through school? The only thing I want to do with my life is impossible for me.  I wish my ceiling was high enough to hang myself.  The only reason I don't is because I'm fucking terrified of consequences.  I will never be the person I want to be,  I'm too fucking scared. I have nobody.  Nobody wants me. I would be doing everyone a favour if I just killed myself. I was the closest to doing it 4 years ago,  when I wasn't aware,  when I didn't even know what depression was, when I truly believed that no one cared. I should have done it back then.  I know now that a few people do care and that just makes me feel fuckin worse.

I want to die. ",2.3119140973088577,4.01540952486188,3.37192835501693,91.68628675815364,76.67955801104972,6.217929067902335,22.174656923899484,6.968188349444268,0.4863871680627341,1376,38,299,14,31,442,173,362,0.249,0.625,0.125,-0.9949,1,0,0,0,0,3,50.0,0,1,2,1,15,29,16,2,19,0,43,19,4,3,3,46,75,15,4,15,15,0,2,1,1,8,4,0,0,1,22,4,2,1,5,0,0,5,19,21,0,1,10,3,45,8,28,51,6,36,0,2,1,11,11,14,11,6,17,195,67,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007297632398599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055273535632131866,0.0,0.06505134109806894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215690038881723,0.0,0.0963761838157717,0.0,0.0,0.08906217953717477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119330491845324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808557233758894,0.0,0.16408265407447442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089550428945562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088779357850517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16335937845550833,0.0,0.10442344108959747,0.0,0.0,0.07553557737726048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994002016734066,0.056473272069209726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107376499096843,0.5846429499177341,0.041300315727352814,0.07583187754362931,0.08985177202514265,0.0,0.06322343501216529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367452490644188,0.10597097781496367,0.0835205708996516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745701407962138,0.0,0.08688752728193662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167057956084778,0.038619793450812484,0.0,0.1396050389927665,0.06995668350085381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479893694421319,0.05276642929046859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193632896010548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585052139883294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053566265384685466,0.12024203857499463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096065096710402,0.06902333301185823,0.0,0.0,0.2989108675743564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946699408413857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128279409205726,0.08127647404468287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750819190035598,0.0,0.0,0.07914275107751471,0.16000546000235708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910699969846657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848990322715401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608926504805597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646777209361638,0.0,0.07450360541011122,0.0,0.059435695037523176,0.0,0.0,0.07277853717259282,0.0,0.0,0.05251724818926575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865027420055642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139907472050864,0.0,0.09090349618596287,0.07620129310689602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055861252626205,0.11230957715671204,0.08642866799502451,0.0,0.10181110160192083
mentalhealth,TicalaKing,2019/02/09,I feel alone All of my friends seem to not care about what I think or have to say. No one notices I'm there or when they do they dont want to be there. My best friend is leaving me for his girlfriend. I feel like no one would care if I just stopped existing.,2.2213157894736852,2.7539517894736854,2.8025877192982454,100.35019736842106,74.96491228070175,6.401754385964912,24.77631578947368,5.985473137389443,0.17181052631578894,200,6,53,1,4,62,42,57,0.218,0.59,0.192,0.3009,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,1,5,6,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,13,14,4,0,3,5,0,2,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,3,10,6,6,12,2,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,4,3,37,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23428578389543955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373938901210049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4612732188657516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651169391326432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22875758045557015,0.16160477633003467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34953923402571035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395241830720535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051498972614833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575420737705075,0.0,0.0,0.30657208336426794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798916132899937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059334795247508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891220484412233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494650951250665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334247724738271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069339911709146,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crossover-and-turn,2019/02/09,"I just don’t know. Really need to vent, thanks for listening. 
I’m turning 18 on feb 22 and depression is still spiraling, getting worse. I’m so alienated from myself and from everyone and from this earth, I am not a victim but I am my own predator, I don’t want pity I just want to connect man.. somebody who understands, I feel like I’m being dragged through this life.. it’s like my energy is literally being sucked by dark entities, constantly drained, loosing emotions but crying too much, breakdowns in my room, I don’t want to break my moms heart but I just don’t know what to do anymore. It’s hurting Me and I know it hurts you to see me this way, you won’t go in my room. I’m so sorry. I feel like I’m constantly being drugged up by depressions heroine, every move I try to make is so slow, every action I take, drags me down deeper, constant spiral, I can fake it, I can smile, I can laugh. Thank you for listening. ",1.084488348530904,3.412812170212767,3.028024316109424,89.29833333333335,84.21276595744679,6.559675785207701,23.845997973657546,7.793537801064563,1.3854551165146909,720,28,150,14,21,241,106,188,0.191,0.636,0.173,-0.6863,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,0,0,8,14,2,0,1,0,17,3,1,1,0,22,43,10,0,4,7,1,2,3,0,1,2,2,2,1,9,4,0,0,6,0,0,3,6,8,0,0,0,5,27,6,19,39,2,17,0,5,1,0,8,7,1,0,8,91,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312049503126305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4351661514643871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744579919666734,0.0,0.0,0.2312249058465249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556646568722735,0.0,0.0,0.15099114103960815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261898145399911,0.12826290627711606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574185397834912,0.1917884592686178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012984754052433,0.0,0.0762862336812103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590636786771337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873928539844781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213085638986928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481090618125176,0.19673458997009116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959983903821861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157209030451234,0.0,0.14266567976544656,0.09867479394812176,0.09953014601820384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599143593774128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696425556874467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025995111427276,0.0,0.0,0.10719657648193807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092456093951914,0.0,0.0,0.24716264881994696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113363528804856,0.14600413766501807,0.0,0.13973858765379646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375177156468612,0.10654584922433402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679225243310378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hyde98X,2019/02/09,"Would anyone else be up for starting No-Media/Politics Mondays? One of the things I'm noticing affecting peoples mental health the absolute most nowadays is negativity from politics and the media. No matter what side of the spectrum you fall on, it would be foolish to think that absorbing nothing but nonstop negativity from the media is good for your wellbeing. **I understand that ""media"" is a very vague term that could apply to anything, but I'm talking about televised media such as the news, late night shows that talk about news/politics, etc. Movies, unless politically motivated, are fine.**

So I asked myself this. ""Why don't we all just stop?"" As simple as that. Just tune out. No more commenting, sharing, tweeting, hashtagging, or even reacting to ANY posts by the media online or otherwise. They could post a dozen Trump posts an hour only to come back to their social media pages to see that no one has liked, commented, shared, or really paid attention to a single one of them. I know it's not possible to get this message out and get every single person onboard, but imagine if we could cut down their viewership but a high percentage?

Whether you wanna admit to it or not, the media (right or left) is only interested in telling you what to think, how to feel, what to be outraged about, who to vote for, etc. Without your rage and emotions, they would be nothing.

Mondays would be a great start, but imagine if we could extend this to other days? Hell, even all days? Don't watch or listen to the news. Take up a new hobby, or get active on another one. Go out and make friends. Eat good food. Go see a movie. Enjoy the world. 

Stop being pawns. It'll be much better for your head.",3.550128623928135,6.118549018987345,4.367762351980403,81.90373826051452,76.21518987341773,7.115394038383013,25.699877501020822,8.155646560271837,1.8680005308289096,1334,49,236,24,31,428,181,316,0.095,0.746,0.159,0.9783,0,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,3,6,5,2,11,15,4,0,18,0,24,4,1,5,2,63,47,25,0,11,21,0,1,1,1,5,1,1,0,1,19,11,2,2,10,1,1,4,10,4,0,5,1,5,18,11,43,30,11,35,1,0,3,0,29,14,1,10,15,169,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708783101922483,0.1034469014323513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689808909748016,0.10108227160806343,0.08118350702070788,0.0,0.09222779880221138,0.0,0.0,0.07585852892546187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725109225632813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498134106790972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150674885365924,0.0,0.0,0.1272468212644131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009472617631411,0.08241242389952526,0.11097202165980387,0.0,0.0,0.22004968394433846,0.13031954483526345,0.0,0.08311991294831815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04988222440108525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929232479119765,0.0,0.07621952668816742,0.0,0.1546273027678685,0.0,0.11213422877830184,0.16549191828969972,0.0,0.10876594234773086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124705522938296,0.1048641636171051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423294492550708,0.0,0.0,0.09715392380805644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05421743858032807,0.0,0.11128555791990276,0.0,0.10718742512545094,0.0,0.0,0.0481971658051704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585204410009629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941962528956484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252174727532656,0.0,0.0,0.09528026169074996,0.0,0.09257972068137872,0.0,0.18932157992633,0.11231777754386972,0.0,0.0,0.2674009303128605,0.1500610166994248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839398463729998,0.08614051832864042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121711109572266,0.28344863546077465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320002237043447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842496354200534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15722829305178598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005649215238556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965505178437235,0.0,0.0,0.16495765413763458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417522965568271,0.15858805359805864,0.08622759478887344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554106825644028,0.12642648692572914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270187687209853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139955189313879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901952947134735,0.0,0.0,0.0950985499992152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280322747899976,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EricTrapton,2019/02/09,"Because it looks like I'm here for the long haul... Anyone have any tips for productivity? Particularly, stopping phone use? I'll probably end up deleting reddit off of my phone directly after this thread dies, because that would certainly help.
Thanks in advance.",5.364000000000001,8.743015177777778,5.488888888888892,71.74000000000002,75.0,8.044444444444443,31.222222222222214,8.841846274778883,3.3366888888888884,213,10,32,5,5,67,41,45,0.037000000000000005,0.7490000000000001,0.214,0.8388,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,7,5,0,8,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,5,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21051308640011454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21645326791939384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774128015866784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321276957201386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27418045427603144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20749318991752885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512365800956806,0.0,0.0,0.2739530334614586,0.2599544989424767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33376068676070264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588080756991905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850035197720028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26736257107725386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199042879761409,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chipmunks95,2019/02/09,"Is faking happiness for someone else unhealthy? For some context me and my girlfriend have been broken up a while now, still best friends, faked being happy after we broke up so she can be happy, now has a boyfriend, never faked being happy this much.  

I’m trying to be happy for her.  I really am.  I keep telling myself it’s good she’s dating.  I want to think I want her to.  I just can’t keep doing this.  She says if I’m not unhappy she’ll break up with her boyfriend because I mean much more to her than anyone else could but I don’t want her to break up with him for my sake.  If I tell her we can’t be friends because of him she’ll break up with him.  I don’t want that.  I’ve never known a girl like her and I’d give anything to be with her but we just didn’t work out.  She’s the happiest she’s been and I don’t want to ruin that for her.

TLDR: best friend and ex got bf, I faked being happy after me and her broke up, now faking to extreme levels so they stay together",0.2410943558810849,2.1814101990521344,2.243345540715211,96.06136471348559,84.45023696682466,4.784230934941836,17.647781128823787,5.852544927426893,-0.4799781990521326,756,17,175,5,22,252,101,211,0.102,0.672,0.226,0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,3,0,1,3,8,21,0,0,4,0,24,0,0,0,2,34,37,12,0,8,7,1,0,1,5,2,0,1,0,1,5,13,0,2,3,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,4,1,40,13,28,23,6,22,0,3,0,0,35,8,0,3,11,126,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549453350342,0.1106271437303466,0.08884940313309125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163397193252635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266139037511532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620457322685582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038872531969805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502500705569302,0.0,0.0,0.10357383790221564,0.0,0.09055939256011412,0.08635278489318372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6896109469737625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19193586606561414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05274826835706569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761004633340814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587394828345633,0.0,0.1665449146084899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916779616552904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586139415584583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914819024431468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508073811055435,0.08622429513926773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18873957560466706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918226568297528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330395917555346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31841498250009154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860282025091851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eyespopping,2019/02/09,"How to talk to my Psyciatrist about adhd, when he thinks I have anxiety. First the backstory:
       For the last year or so, I've been seeing a therapist and Psyciatrist for what they called anxiety and potential a mood disorder. All I knew at the time was that something was wrong. I was in college, had a hard time focusing and studying, and would sleep 10 hours a day, usually waking up incredibly tired in the morning. I'm not exceptionally good at describing emotions or how I feel, and so with the information I gave, their diagnosis was anxiety. However, after a few different medications (All of which made things worse) I had retreated home to online study's, and stopped taking my medication after my life fell back into order (with my parents *cough* ""coaxing"" *cough*). I felt much better, but didn't let my Psyciatrist know I was stopping. Oh, and I smoke weed (which of course the doc blamed for everything wrong with me)

Now for where I need advice:
So I've been off my medication for a few months now, and anxiety has not been a problem, but I still suffer from a lot of the things that lead to my failures in college. Lack of attention, inability to concentrate on things that I want to, and by all means should enjoy, but don't. I want to talk to my Psyciatrist about adhd, but again, I'm bad at describing what I'm feeling, since to me I just feel... well... Like always. I don't want him to think I'm looking for stimulants because I'm just a druggy or anything like that. I've taken stimulants before from friends, and they actually really help, but I'm not sure if that's even something I should mention, since it's a controlled substance, and technically as far as paperwork goes I was abusing it, since it's not my prescription. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. I have a therapist appointment the day before so I plan to talk about how to describe what I'm feeling with her, but I'm terribly worried the Psyciatrist will think I'm exhibiting drug seeking behavior, especially since he wasn't exactly pleased that I quite his last regimine cold turkey without saying anything. ",6.4205343511450375,7.272756987277354,7.144871246819342,71.83645190839695,65.64122137404581,10.969933842239184,34.80396946564885,10.878246069084,4.013918351145039,1668,75,298,46,25,553,198,393,0.157,0.753,0.09,-0.9764,3,0,5,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,3,6,21,15,0,0,20,0,25,10,2,8,5,73,55,31,0,11,18,1,6,2,1,5,8,1,1,0,17,16,0,3,13,0,0,2,9,6,1,1,18,10,37,8,48,30,8,37,0,1,2,0,19,13,0,5,23,199,54,3,0.0,0.1026888704192408,0.0845766705156498,0.0,0.2083191545522316,0.16938434542434802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211574588754284,0.0,0.0,0.05893805135694019,0.0,0.265206908143654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264279030728694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666432914247831,0.0723651904865829,0.05283276081089803,0.0,0.14749826984282444,0.0,0.0,0.07665189466147704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849897844902761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720691593214033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178897234790977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055090326535246,0.09933045120889704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050879615834253,0.0,0.0,0.09749122325768364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724421187586767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789271934848199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529027597908753,0.0,0.08321605650468529,0.0,0.0,0.07372080644341919,0.0,0.0,0.06696043544859248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726940417593901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776386103843361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809256086023545,0.0,0.08693630860725747,0.0,0.0853517376241693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047631144589745725,0.14129398712999006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862516411948301,0.06121704331881971,0.08468442011994909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278032863011127,0.0,0.0,0.07368308370353817,0.0,0.08200852509448195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440820413861888,0.0,0.2619304065552071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917855596696412,0.0,0.06371185952014732,0.06426413907147821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623592810759116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513679300827764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293075231502904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921833990335289,0.0,0.0,0.05552253080236003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892285378505904,0.0,0.0,0.06906415865490352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867747450013001,0.0,0.08673182581136632,0.0,0.0,0.13344442172098694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921416248863592,0.14491872137732767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168472766479846,0.0,0.06516447809449502,0.2089843427390231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20125932216824846,0.17273756454191438,0.1666024374190354,0.0,0.0,0.10107505502301138,0.09961353529929637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545391707382786,0.0,0.1533592797852218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792605021644476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354604909224342,0.0,0.0,0.08801681448366483,0.08832335413889487,0.12313467480796104,0.18951840434414005,0.0,0.055812145344024996
mentalhealth,alexander3872910,2019/02/09,"I need help with who I wanna be I don’t really know what I’m doing, & I wanna make this clear as possible. I don’t think my heart can take this. My ex-best friend only comes to me for her problems & is completely oblivious to her actions. She told me she had an abortion, she’s addicted to alcohol, she’s doesn’t understand how much she broke my trust & faith in friendship by kissing & being friends with my ex. I try to be there for her & I want her to be happy. My ex ruined my friendships, he cheated three times with really pretty girls, we broke up six times, he was a bit abusive physically and emotionally, i was always there for his problems and for him to vent to me. My family life is perfect but there’s so much pressure for who they want me to be, my friendships I have rn they’re incredible but I don’t think I’m good enough for them, I try my best in school, and I had a job I really liked, but I don’t think I’m good enough for that job or to do my best in school. I want everyone in my life and from my past to be happy, even if they weren’t who they swore they would be. I have these thoughts that are completely horrible. I think I’m being dramatic but with the way I’ve been feeling sucks. ",1.867938689217759,3.4408143914728657,3.5735588442565214,90.32949260042284,77.56589147286822,7.326568005637772,22.579985905567302,8.150884317080207,1.0180480620155032,955,28,217,17,22,319,124,258,0.093,0.682,0.225,0.987,3,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,5,3,6,21,2,1,4,0,28,6,1,2,2,37,49,13,0,10,6,2,1,1,2,1,4,0,0,1,9,10,1,0,8,0,0,2,6,8,0,2,8,1,50,13,31,32,7,11,1,3,0,1,29,5,1,2,4,146,59,4,0.0,0.11208236351875824,0.0,0.10312504923756202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010957734020302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871255388236778,0.5124808200077047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978221746702725,0.0,0.1032757803083635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148722076763537,0.1983669945969874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640926013155087,0.0,0.19548865196569906,0.0,0.0624806421438018,0.0,0.0,0.0903917995804146,0.0,0.0,0.08917794070494506,0.0,0.04783125073189602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461713199625821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868749906118584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20140122669190105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120982876564694,0.06340659408843302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877465003669668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05198821684304087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363377890498074,0.046215475550118304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314445015990611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907983932512336,0.07014271914008566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194552970533992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903038522849293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664427239096637,0.0,0.09623948964845808,0.0,0.1810337320862295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18180440943984366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19147508994429369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112541692667057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424565892119984,0.0,0.0750997108084289,0.11032092390846858,0.0,0.0,0.0903917995804146,0.0,0.1284507506510729,0.0,0.0,0.09847915329130316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673878627322159,0.07508695482389327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671992267869179,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NikkiLoy90,2019/02/09,"Empty feeling after a break through Hello! This is my first post here. I started seeing a counselor at my university. He asked me to write a letter to my ex so I could examine the baggage I’ve brought into my marriage. I struggled to write to my ex because it really boiled down to baggage from my dad. I wrote a letter to my dad (not my first time doing this) and read it out loud. My counselor asked me to name the letter. I named it disappointment and he asked me what my life would look like without disappointment. I immediately started crying and talking through it. He called this a break through. I was pretty drained for the rest of the day. I’ve felt weird in the days since. 

What do you do with this kind of moment?",2.484205794205796,4.780825377622378,3.5767882117882164,87.61155594405595,78.44055944055944,5.764035964035964,25.5989010989011,6.868970318607317,1.0561152847152848,571,22,113,6,14,184,81,143,0.127,0.823,0.05,-0.8805,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,2,6,0,1,10,0,7,2,0,0,0,18,18,4,0,2,2,4,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,10,6,1,0,3,1,0,1,2,4,0,2,4,5,21,2,22,12,1,18,0,2,2,0,23,5,0,0,10,79,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5156185208419198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207188958511394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877291208883584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678747849930712,0.0,0.20194813424138428,0.2371331948873665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295895270922587,0.0,0.17652268314507508,0.0,0.0,0.31276162566723903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914491533508451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985711165294078,0.08981873023096536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438581722800365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607533622551325,0.18703926889006148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838975142800015,0.0,0.11777758432575867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650286383414865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208076894097966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602567850632082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921975989566984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776986743948592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107203108757584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17722268239306238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060017560477508,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psychoticirl,2019/02/09,"I’ve messed up For so the past few months, i’ve tried to ignore my mental health hoping i would be able to suppress my issues. I feel like i’m so close to falling apart now. i don’t know what to do",0.3136666666666663,1.6913723111111132,2.1708333333333343,99.53625000000004,81.44444444444444,4.5,15.694444444444445,3.1291,-1.2515555555555555,154,2,39,0,4,51,33,45,0.15,0.732,0.118,-0.1189,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,7,8,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,2,6,6,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,4,21,6,0,0.3325570687708299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815084619241927,0.23757883637792515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35349261303377033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303042062662349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34710317875778274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827646678777488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247058569503994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351393070636573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26544387951337184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31746335175844104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22578442007607916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23623900012636398,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yourhoneybadger01,2019/02/09,"[Serious] Dealing with brother who may be schizophrenic Hi everyone, I never thought I'd come to ask this question as it seemed like such a foreign disease.

My brother (33) lives in another country and has 3 children, aged 2 to 6. SO many things happened randomly during the years, but I never connected the dots. Recently he told me that people are following him around town, he is sometimes seeing and meeting an old exgirlfriend (who is 600km away from him, so not possible). A few years ago he asked me to check his computer, phone and wireless connection to see if someone might have ""infiltrated"" his network or devices. Giving the benefit of the doubt, I checked everything and nothing weird was happening, but every time I visited the wireless router was turned off (supposedly because of the dangers of radio waves). My brother has a PhD and knows that all the scare is bullshit, but I understand that we're not always rational beings.

Anyway, he came to visit me last summer with the kids and girlfriend, and he mentioned to me scaredly that some people from our country are following him, and he saw them a couple of times.

His girlfriend almost left him a couple of times because she thought he was cheating on her, but she seemed to understand that this ""ex-gf"" is not really real. Technically, she is, but she's really far away and hasn't spoke to him in more than 5 years.

He also told me that sometimes they communicate using youtube videos with special meanings to them, through fake profiles.

A few weeks ago thought, he accused my father of touching one of the nephews and she told him that my aunt is going to punish him for this (that aunt died more than 10 years ago) for this, because he also molested her or something like that. My father has never touched me, my sister or my brother inappropriately. He mentioned a couple of times that he saw this happening, one of which I was there and nothing happened. Me and my father were playing with a niece, and her leggings came off a bit. Another time the kids were jumping on the beds while my parents were trying to watch TV and they grabbed them by the legs so they would stop jumping since they didn't listen and the bed is like 1m from the ground.

While putting all this on paper it seems like my brother has schizophrenia, but I'm not sure and will not be until a diagnosis is confirmed. I want to help him, but the problem is that I'm 4000km away from him and so are our parents. The girlfriend seems to have shut down after this accusations started so not much I can do.

So I really don't know what I'm looking for, but how would you help him? Don't know where to start, and I feel so helpless being so far away. Does this sound like schizophrenia?

Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my main language.",8.05406001827254,7.30730718975332,7.6286738351254515,75.13338112305857,62.49146110056926,10.312151240424486,38.11434394546349,9.444778638647367,3.536276182444304,2207,98,399,33,27,697,251,527,0.116,0.8170000000000001,0.067,-0.9865,2,0,1,0,0,0,64.0,2,1,7,0,16,22,4,3,28,0,41,3,2,2,6,81,86,45,1,6,19,14,4,5,3,5,1,3,2,3,26,26,0,1,15,4,2,11,14,13,0,2,19,13,59,9,55,58,10,59,0,1,6,0,84,20,0,15,33,277,85,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206403082885545,0.0,0.07232091523456023,0.0,0.0,0.1155134352967144,0.06009533273660445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146425338638952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429379401146944,0.13503753610428065,0.0,0.2714235937535353,0.0,0.0,0.1320794356869904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884882493507618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520777358644145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221373090156027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23974017156243554,0.0,0.0,0.07445875541790949,0.0,0.0,0.07495608526966695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320284564747837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085100366438565,0.06901218426432376,0.0649093873937808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0365181255868912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928289539660078,0.04104600284250881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554662885897713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968191268481448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907563795608753,0.058871395322592085,0.0,0.0,0.07847051528001936,0.0,0.0,0.17642258088305476,0.0,0.06377424393725029,0.0,0.06064914134738876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322279964337816,0.0,0.07867203439347091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661720381084645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309222486725235,0.0,0.16710852081028724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859985826750668,0.0,0.07578590324744168,0.0,0.0978803659265457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603902185206584,0.0,0.0,0.100140687403607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142059579677582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910766980404325,0.0,0.07260407650392145,0.08090630391721107,0.0,0.0,0.08220560077350937,0.13880373510173574,0.0,0.0713115125916693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461567145420934,0.0,0.11510478172165745,0.2629964752329927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597436229397891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061194324802701865,0.055600804141108746,0.14286081379709067,0.08084775041228415,0.10223964109737152,0.0,0.0,0.060381673057327036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806933531783567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047981760846166704,0.0,0.0,0.1720110155312703,0.21056909930774592,0.0,0.0,0.2070365527929713,0.0,0.04903468519252314,0.07855789911794346,0.0,0.15037340786844036,0.0,0.06237749463937457,0.0,0.0,0.04259900448237111,0.0,0.0579329448500755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026103129479832,0.0,0.0,0.1860370105814733
mentalhealth,mafic_apathy,2019/02/09,"should i look into going inpatient? Hi, so, never posted in this subreddit before but i need some mental health advice. warning, this may be long. 

I’m diagnosed depressed and anxious, for about two years now. maybe six months or a year ago i was diagnosed with a mild form of bipolar disorder. i’m not sure exactly what it’s called (i can never remember) but it has “cyclo-“ at the beginning of the name. 

i’m on melatonin for sleep, 5mg of Lexapro for my anxiety and depression, and 75mg of Lamictdol (idk if i spelled that right) for my mood disorder.

so lately, like past month or so, i’ve been really lonely and depressed and slipping back into some old patterns from back before was medicated. stuff like being irritable, being suicidal, etc. it’s gotten really bad the past week or so. i’ve been extremely sad, cut myself off from friends (the few that i have), and my mom says i’m acting weird. i’ve been struggling with my mental health since 7th or 8th grade (i’m now a junior in high school) and this is the worst i’ve felt in about two years, when i was at my lowest ever point. 

since i’ve been regressing, and my therapy and meds don’t seem to be keeping me stable anymore, i’ve been considering asking my therapist and my social worker about maybe going inpatient. i think it would help me a lot to be checked into a hospital or something. 

however, i am very nervous about asking. i’m scared that i’ll never get out of the hospital, that they’ll deem me dangerous to myself or crazy or something. i’m also extremely worried about the potential schoolwork and finals i’d miss if i went inpatient soon. i’ve never been inpatient before and i don’t really know what to expect. 

i’m just not sure what to do. maybe i should just die and not worry about this shit anymore. anyway if anybody has been inpatient before or can offer any advice, it would be greatly appreciated!!

TL;DR- i’ve been slipping back into my old depressive and suicidal moods lately. i’m wondering if i should check myself into a mental hospital or something to get some help since medication and therapy isn’t helping anymore. however i am very scared to go inpatient. help? advice pls???? ",3.8115947242206265,5.925722,5.283375299760191,77.8146073141487,73.60431654676259,8.662110311750599,27.41067146282973,9.2995712137729,2.6795750599520387,1722,66,304,42,36,578,194,417,0.247,0.679,0.07400000000000001,-0.9981,3,2,3,0,0,1,59.0,0,0,1,1,22,25,3,4,13,0,36,9,2,0,8,71,64,36,3,11,20,1,1,2,1,7,7,1,0,0,17,23,0,1,6,0,2,5,10,17,0,3,14,3,30,6,39,37,8,50,0,7,1,0,15,16,1,20,30,198,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028748478493167,0.0613448089046807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534208761229068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706081573091148,0.0,0.05294055854988663,0.07818036107130194,0.205894103456318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939203365971627,0.0,0.0,0.15963987196230098,0.0577821087805674,0.0,0.0,0.2355486392199509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066460497549465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23841980993666026,0.14048037854636494,0.07182240277787373,0.0,0.15862662416509465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718029835233656,0.0,0.06259861104899635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644630100345117,0.07580915251780086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346652360159403,0.0,0.07231204121495834,0.0,0.11798998859013587,0.0,0.0,0.07629720461761094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712036462608405,0.0,0.0,0.18554283618393674,0.0731173946110117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615113323853488,0.0,0.0,0.03803248439645727,0.0,0.15612933240543853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761875899846373,0.0,0.0,0.06124300131227811,0.05811358800707157,0.0,0.0,0.058834419272825435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20857292962537927,0.0,0.07686959000736307,0.13943067693868053,0.20922283198190084,0.0,0.0,0.08105041068843223,0.11047529397181152,0.0,0.0,0.05131358667819918,0.21349630602276828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452350572562635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212531844805114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541976312701799,0.0,0.06627791160702587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330007795055497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839417943295804,0.059099489544734686,0.0,0.055033474079140485,0.13856973674397752,0.0700377298244593,0.0,0.06300035115690955,0.0,0.0,0.07103649282434127,0.17173777958468409,0.0,0.06925357012220916,0.07054434714801762,0.0,0.15982891857663814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234662019000518,0.07922155615802998,0.1513949951539507,0.0,0.1304471331561967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15828067747413174,0.08035070431262904,0.0,0.04434286750911101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352037076434693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420042216371636,0.0,0.0,0.055510947298821715,0.0,0.0,0.0641524232122991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504834362179029,0.0,0.14055921403142274,0.0,0.09832049258175553,0.0,0.0,0.13369453318069646
mentalhealth,kj118,2019/02/09,"Loneliness (long post) I'm 19 and this has gone on for maybe 6 or 7 years. I've made very few social connections in my life. I've had ""friends"" but they have always been superficial and short-lived relationships. I have never had any romantic or sexual relationships. In school, it was severe social anxiety that kept me from reaching out to my peers. But towards the end of my high school years (I was admitted to a residential psych facility and dropped out senior year, got my GED while living there. My GPA was about 0.9. There was no recovering from that) I greatly overcame my fears about being judged and, though still moderately awkward, I wanted to form relationships with the people around me. I got a job after returning home but lost it within a month due to bipolar episodes and not being able to handle the stress. So I applied to community college. There I made a couple superficial friends, but after dropping out 3 quarters in due to failing grades and loss of financial aid those relationships disappeared. I finally swallowed my pride and applied for disability benefits on the basis of bipolar disorder. I've been approved for one program and I'm waiting to be denied for the second so I can get a lawyer and fight it. I've quickly realized that being a young person that isn't employed or attending school makes meeting new people really hard. And if I do meet someone, they want to know where I'm working or what I'm going to school for because that's what young people are doing. When I tell them I'm unable to work or attend school due to ""health reasons"", their interest in being around me dies. I feel worthless. And you know what? I kind of am. Being depressed from the beginning of junior high, I never developed hobbies or interests. The only hobby I enjoy is gaming and that interest stems from pre-depression days. Regardless, I haven't played a video game in a long time. I can't find the energy for solo activities. I just want people. I haven't interacted with anyone outside my immediate family in months, spare my counselor. So all this time I've been talking to people in my head. People that I've made up and fictional conversations with people I know. I know these aren't real voices, but sometimes I ""lose control"" of what the other person is saying and the voice sounds louder and clearer and so real. I've had hallucinations before, and I think that may be what I'm experiencing. It's like my conversations are coming to life with a mind of their own. The loss of control moments have become more frequent. I think I'm losing my mind. I don't know what the point of this post is. Just venting thoughts because who else is here to listen.",5.398310810810809,7.01648068650794,6.20497211497212,74.83762548262551,68.52380952380952,8.94071214071214,30.08987558987559,9.358847034038227,2.8336462462462477,2142,83,369,44,37,704,253,504,0.13699999999999998,0.787,0.075,-0.9851,3,0,0,0,1,0,59.0,0,1,5,12,19,24,1,3,21,0,38,7,1,7,3,75,73,36,1,5,15,0,2,1,2,1,5,5,1,2,25,27,1,4,13,4,0,6,10,12,0,3,19,8,46,12,59,46,5,62,0,8,0,0,30,21,0,8,32,246,71,18,0.0718991150423716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059825823433270996,0.0,0.0,0.04889386375452355,0.0,0.05500262621088229,0.0,0.0,0.05027353297531847,0.0,0.0,0.12801091177060353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765806637274233,0.07940692373771863,0.061180851281010286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061934721226274116,0.0,0.0,0.1612819424517275,0.0,0.0795550032513599,0.0,0.04636898113694832,0.0,0.12385320486237868,0.0,0.07461993000765729,0.0,0.08240261488576127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060062484724968036,0.0,0.06368127513956948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778008680457599,0.08090649356650521,0.03635435289211133,0.0,0.0,0.07876196612793948,0.06571448858643288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109815585654,0.0,0.037564320083101815,0.0,0.040861923994336136,0.0,0.11500858081708365,0.07926902816038847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440748465253197,0.0,0.07378923492866518,0.07642539713584624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193072515520972,0.0721206746830107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134877746410401,0.0,0.0,0.07487186418271473,0.19756936651493195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156894252774387,0.03512627584512139,0.0,0.0634882358352654,0.1272569085585902,0.0,0.16087343730208914,0.07848637740326078,0.0,0.0,0.20409804330289585,0.04799321759656119,0.0,0.07223232495795649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519522011810282,0.0,0.11477837533850307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090605992104337,0.06944061333966654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048720701116433694,0.05468251688793185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489205539926893,0.12555906795369964,0.0,0.0,0.06796790356280698,0.0,0.1377189549189956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367386727543126,0.046060414178204084,0.07392426504425846,0.0,0.3087709682513977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717706210086305,0.0,0.3638287146671734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122553472843635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658418663327244,0.060919886853954275,0.0,0.07111006323251674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574187261487111,0.0,0.08236019335928425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778978518098581,0.0628429956288093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921400995202584,0.0706405154773839,0.057079866134558566,0.08384990435714762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932429979442766,0.12722388268148155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046868241303476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890201834661212
mentalhealth,abbeytheavg,2019/02/09,"Anniversary of suicide attempt (19F) It’s the year anniversary of my last suicide attempt. I’m struggling just as much as last year if not more, my boyfriends been a dick all day and I feel alone. There’s no one I really want to talk to right now. I’m just looking for some support maybe?! So if you have anything encouraging to say, leave a comment. Maybe someone else who needs to hear it will see it too. 😊",1.5634823848238495,3.9692771097560993,2.4974796747967503,93.384783197832,82.78048780487805,5.595663956639567,26.184281842818432,6.937597516519254,1.0949631436314369,321,14,68,4,9,101,60,82,0.227,0.6890000000000001,0.084,-0.9201,0,1,0,0,0,2,11.0,0,1,0,2,6,3,0,1,3,0,3,1,1,0,1,11,12,6,2,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,5,5,2,9,10,4,7,0,0,2,1,7,1,1,3,6,40,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978436440456222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719678547161425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319491974610422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957635479611545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096587664364194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215298355467376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114207249515283,0.0,0.2022672328986677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041236548408608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838193230939565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404248962237888,0.14164215466305374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294430612198696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237510700088725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631337737332497,0.0,0.15191025129558025,0.0,0.0,0.1522216960067106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185433425308546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19970015408522493,0.0,0.4178993266108741,0.21677219863346694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535381579010623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267112649037606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246026870883696
mentalhealth,Kutzelberg,2019/02/09,"Being selfish I'm 16 and I don't really know why I am like that, I haven't felt love for anyone outside my family, and I see everything through a me filter. I can't care or be happy for others, I just don't want to. And I don't think anything bad happened in my childhood. I get this sinking feeling everytime I see my friends succeed. Please give me any other explanation than ""oh you're just still young"", no, there are people my age and younger capable of a lot more love and maturity. ",2.9063999999999983,4.410841439999999,4.743000000000002,83.32150000000003,74.6,7.8000000000000025,28.5,8.472884824447931,2.0941,384,16,78,7,8,131,72,100,0.15,0.644,0.206,0.7063,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,0,14,23,6,0,1,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,4,15,7,7,20,2,5,0,0,2,2,4,1,0,2,5,50,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730284677851865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145938480251536,0.0,0.17825232257378024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086106209699493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208492592162008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19467591885357624,0.0,0.2042014881731542,0.0,0.10952498458057387,0.0,0.20798044283116232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673530518233777,0.0,0.11317026024617348,0.2077929227762481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915483124405967,0.2305863416742054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190436913310436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582514923941128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18415484969495824,0.3909996068553176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501707312122455,0.0,0.0,0.2377737322638471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876649565497648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34522170129510416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729857526205178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879552483244265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776272697726604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954576547012835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nmhhg8,2019/02/09,"Depression, Acculturative Stress, and Social Connectedness among International University Students in Japan: A Statistical Investigation [Predictors of depression](https://www.mdpi.com/2071-1050/11/3/878)",28.18894736842105,37.09806289473683,19.78868421052632,-29.891710526315762,25.31578947368422,22.74736842105264,67.39473684210526,15.247664890283005,16.011294736842107,181,11,8,9,2,51,19,19,0.302,0.698,0.0,-0.7579,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4897283459001868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5796089922324038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6513213978867914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NoahRoots,2019/02/09,"“Big T” and “Little T” Trauma We all know how trauma can affect a person. But did you know there’s more to it than seeing combat or surviving a car crash? Read more about “Big T” and “Little T” trauma in our latest article.
[Read about Big T and Little T Trauma ](https://roots-recovery.com/big-t-little-t-trauma/)",4.613888888888886,7.806594462962966,5.1829629629629625,73.93333333333334,76.5925925925926,5.822222222222222,14.555555555555555,7.1686216300943375,0.06368888888888824,247,3,39,3,6,79,35,54,0.281,0.68,0.039,-0.9102,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,11,5,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,5,4,3,9,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,1,1,23,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778561314243721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7600930437017629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22072853133982767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5057215229258285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20144277561683727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Slush-e,2019/02/09,"What’s a panic attack like? Whenever I hear people describe panic attacks, it comes off as if they completely lose control like (I know this is a bad comparison, sorry) a drunk person throwing a tantrum.

Is it really like that? Someone can panic so much that all their rationality is gone and they can start doing/saying stuff and wake up later, not remembering it at all like some kind of blackout?

I’ve been in situations where an unreasonable amount of doubt and worry enter my mind that impair my ability to assess situations correctly, but never as much as I described above.",8.109559748427678,8.373600584905663,8.77735849056604,63.59955974842768,62.018867924528294,11.217610062893083,34.647798742138356,10.864195022040775,4.037357232704403,466,18,73,11,6,157,78,106,0.201,0.722,0.077,-0.8976,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,2,2,14,3,4,5,0,6,2,1,1,4,17,11,9,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,4,1,1,2,1,0,4,2,9,0,0,2,1,8,5,10,9,6,12,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,3,7,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33437467064747484,0.0,0.0,0.1227048152381346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659236055954626,0.1540839524687111,0.0,0.16482726818129034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563372839900506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303541920784058,0.08076494730638835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871874185501808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440978320541938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483869249169728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21606388094417134,0.0,0.11334401485775428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5172749628111966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188302343205316,0.12831912768158527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941458432963068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647615509493746,0.0,0.0,0.11686787504482092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303766547998357,0.0,0.0,0.124518075308474,0.0,0.0,0.16450882180357068,0.10401849657398107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823315410942186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492442275968262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Milda666,2019/02/09,What is this feeling called? So i just was in stressful situation. And after that like 15min after the situation i got this feeling . I was washing my face and everything felt so intense i think even sound became louder. I wouldn’t say that my breathing slowed down or heartbreak changed . It’s very hard to describe this feeling but it felt like i was on some kind of drug ( not a hard one ) i think something like weed if you get really high and start being paranoid mabie. So what is this feeling of intensity called?( i think i did bad job of explaining it but i hope someone understood),2.8756845238095248,5.5460090089285705,3.6428571428571423,85.56880952380955,79.44642857142857,6.2333333333333325,27.190476190476193,7.492282038375204,1.7000869047619052,467,20,86,7,12,148,73,112,0.127,0.7070000000000001,0.166,0.3756,2,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,1,2,0,8,4,2,0,0,23,23,10,0,3,6,0,8,3,0,1,2,2,0,0,11,3,0,0,11,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,8,10,13,5,9,13,1,8,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,4,7,58,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063446044303265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195187139482983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551000119136428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18143961575501172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333789881030038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061281807053533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31643598903652503,0.0,0.3004451330423025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174194994789925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513238141847796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803081953880862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530465217673254,0.0,0.15539639044274473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552587184704078,0.0,0.0,0.1629251417565925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22930990969377255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601882593045008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022990066118542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442031529060342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.351726832879315,0.0,0.0,0.13256490017738196,0.12044768979006387,0.0,0.0,0.11074056180815972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922014263483002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007526045932959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290928182318335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,C0mput3r_V1ru5,2019/02/09,"I self harmed today Today someone I considered a friend told me to my face that he wasn’t interested in talking to me anymore. Not as friends, not at all. I got so upset that I self harmed. I haven’t done that in over 2 years. I feel so guilty and ashamed that I self harmed because I don’t know what I did to make this person not want to be my friend. He knew from the beginning that I was autistic, but lately he just acts super weird whenever I said anything about it... and then he just friend broke-up with me. Why do I feel like I can’t do anything right?",3.3480508474576283,3.9188298644067814,4.162500000000001,91.4908686440678,72.38983050847456,7.255932203389831,25.76694915254237,7.1686216300943375,0.8771322033898308,436,13,101,4,8,140,72,118,0.14800000000000002,0.693,0.158,0.7343,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,13,0,2,2,0,10,1,1,1,1,16,20,7,0,1,6,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,4,8,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,8,3,18,7,12,11,1,12,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,0,7,62,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935231780076395,0.0,0.0,0.2644534480509049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794961060697194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443239047840605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16249022398048354,0.11479049677780365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4965667875459587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285112274732622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830604332847225,0.0,0.18125510088323835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850059175324442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725577621959988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403004004439627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372206461725143,0.1528443710179229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5028757958703063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614444038024326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914925436453095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046134893968195,0.1535375255201729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477378244970557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498955746369832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034732582526582
mentalhealth,prettylikethesky,2019/02/09,"2 years ago, a nightmare At 2:20 in the morning on February 15th, 2017, I was in an apartment fire. I thought everything was okay, I've felt so normal for so long, but once again, this time of year I feel like I can't function. I haven't been able to eat much, I feel sick when I do, and I haven't been able to sleep normally anymore either. I wake up with nightmares early in the morning and I feel like I have no one to talk about it with. I just keep remembering the alarms and I start to cry. I don't know how to feel better anymore.",1.4160526315789461,3.0085413070175484,2.829684210526313,95.07978947368422,78.91228070175438,5.963508771929827,22.803508771929828,6.742157984588678,0.3780098245614037,415,13,98,4,10,135,73,114,0.141,0.753,0.106,-0.6059,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,5,1,10,4,2,1,0,20,19,8,0,2,3,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,1,8,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,6,6,14,4,16,13,2,16,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,11,61,16,0,0.340592389625845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095730161722815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33777613060364026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506131453385488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706237350873486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425552178526213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305123913582394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34442749170218495,0.24331927120228095,0.16351105302997795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136708258723044,0.0,0.0,0.09359033503893524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639623758506647,0.0,0.0,0.15070677350070694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518729771880954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337082272218098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813598896092113,0.11539710890539892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19291239146387146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704191806881724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053652319829095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368776306854177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351961564119092,0.0993010806811366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21933033215891207
mentalhealth,Maxmite77,2019/02/09,"I cant look at myself I’m a 16 year old guy and I can’t look at myself in the mirror. Every time I look at myself I become sick, my face, my body all disgust me. Even once I think I’ve covered up or fixed one thing I notice something else wrong with me. A lot of times I will lose my temper and start crying and yelling, hitting things and hurting myself because of how much I hate how I look. I can barely go out into public or to school because I can’t stand people looking at me. It’s destroying my life. I don’t know what to do, I want to kill myself.",0.7162742175856955,2.255555426229513,2.953487332339794,93.6416616989568,80.80327868852459,4.764232488822653,19.2876304023845,4.851557810540192,-0.42559999999999976,430,10,98,1,11,147,78,122,0.271,0.718,0.01,-0.9865,0,0,1,0,1,2,11.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,5,0,3,0,7,4,2,2,1,16,20,8,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,4,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,8,0,1,0,6,25,0,14,18,3,15,0,2,5,0,2,8,0,3,5,66,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824208535368203,0.16524980990764992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662004016358721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435678542969326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249930574840734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988263515871798,0.0,0.1260660901065932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503572301614623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815294896579925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477243835449179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017738685573096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553864787469846,0.0,0.08223036159417225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056850439180161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6282394420440995,0.16739286501746706,0.0,0.12720640388767845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999209217631754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034983028942496,0.15700698315997108,0.1593464677206297,0.10139023424016357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373160803712406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15142917798019798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518915979613405,0.0,0.0,0.10590582760256527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19880930870647545,0.09587409519153912,0.0,0.0,0.17449587647495693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825310371452166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359219426908567,0.0,0.09635403332242648
mentalhealth,hognerd,2019/02/09,"Suicide prevention and police intervention Today i made a mistake that others should know about before doing the same. Recently my s/o has been very depressed and isolated, having just moved across the country, and after a morning argument began talk of suicide. She left.  Convinced i would lose her, and never hear of her death due to a lack of paper connecting us, i called the suicide prevention line to ask advice for what to do. The counselor advised i call the local nonemergency line for the police department to ""let them know someone may be at risk"" and to ""give context for if she is found"" and so that i would be contacted with the news. I did so. It started benignly, but after taking my information it quickly turned into an open case and was taken out of my hands. They put a BOLO out on her car and said that upon finding her she will be taken to the hospital for an evaluation. Not only was this not what i wanted, i couldnt put a stop to it. Once the police report is opened, only they can close it. This, of course, greatly escalated the matter when she returned apologizing, as she had asked me not to call anyone about what she had said/was threatening to do. Now she cant come home because the police are passing the house in case she returns, and she doesnt want the evaluation for fear of being committed.

TL;DR: police become liable upon learning of someone with suicidal thoughts. It will not end without MANDITORY psych eval, potentially hospitalization. ",7.399251824817518,7.771998368613138,7.755173357664237,69.9633439781022,63.4890510948905,10.207664233576645,34.278284671532845,9.978442167317967,3.522095620437957,1179,47,194,23,16,387,164,274,0.14400000000000002,0.8220000000000001,0.034,-0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,3,34.0,1,0,3,1,8,8,0,2,20,0,29,1,1,1,2,51,48,15,5,9,8,0,1,0,0,6,0,2,1,0,14,18,0,3,7,0,0,7,9,5,0,0,13,3,29,3,38,23,2,36,0,2,0,0,30,14,0,2,15,154,43,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860963066707544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771518471537255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078111870843862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775297474413176,0.12275094628790033,0.0945762288216692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34047448740374725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574159633376167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572904591961058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844150127288227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506905164753288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015845379611203,0.0,0.0,0.1218647815375475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662043423165334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253778083822113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526851931301325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148752083007876,0.0,0.0,0.12824643455803778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216479649715573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075939329099893,0.11365331688370273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434285155438254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516810865548801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181295705098815,0.0,0.0,0.08572189403368126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118365822697604,0.0,0.16906159758986708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22346289425473648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974230211823442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144873869713848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883456355462021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866901972766692,0.0,0.0,0.0929222164309518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4862984647774702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356722553935005,0.0893341598293264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823673367761471,0.0,0.0,0.10535248647714143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120893869523422,0.0,0.0,0.13369377840260485,0.0,0.0,0.09170628447572074,0.1311124291139078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713983648098792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790847164416538,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xSGxSamurai,2019/02/09,"Want help with my friend, idk what todo or how to help Sorry if in the wrong place, if a better place to post please let me know.

He seems like he's going off the deep end and I want to help. He's very self-deprecating, lives alone, and is all too desperate for a girlfriend. Every time I see him he seems to be getting worse. I can't make him stop being so hard on himself. I try and show my support for him and help him out every way I can but it doesn't seem like enough. What else can I do? ",0.5422222222222217,2.1479976666666687,2.170148148148151,98.7396666666667,81.5925925925926,5.060740740740742,16.355555555555554,5.6839178017228535,-0.8667399999999996,380,6,95,2,10,124,74,108,0.101,0.6829999999999999,0.21600000000000005,0.863,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,2,1,20,20,10,0,4,4,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,4,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,14,5,11,17,2,13,0,0,1,0,15,7,0,6,5,54,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507749742125013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242604424253732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508211658131693,0.0,0.1326183676471068,0.15471348340688548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523118275056665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568279722733738,0.0,0.07822894249959697,0.0,0.08509631201906931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413072304463627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014495959227001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228895174243324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531114130514388,0.0,0.1463032690187896,0.0,0.13221635689320102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994746747515232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128767521005779,0.1643610926467936,0.0,0.0,0.14340214572803042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931725066939965,0.408931964743554,0.15620343575989795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16761304192082108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251829005234672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991443034090256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731010347106975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165839745492608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354482197948305,0.17663197028186026,0.11885052377626824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258999734451187,0.0,0.16370875572802546,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aggravated_Pear_283,2019/02/09,"Out of the Blue So today I started crying for no reason at all. Like, I watched a movie I enjoyed with my family, went to my bedroom, and just started crying for no reason. It worried me because usually you only cry if you're sad, or you're really happy, or other reasons, but there was no emotion when I cried. This sounds really dumb, like one of those people who might have depression but decide to try and solve it with attention towards themselves, but it's gotten to a point where it's starting to worry me more. This seems to happen at least three times a month? Usually the days that it happens I've overslept or I'm tired, but I'm normally a happy person. I know most people on here aren't certified professionals, but I would like for someone to at least give a probable explanation or cause. Thank you for listening.",6.734755003450657,6.539423248447207,7.437598343685303,73.6007591442374,64.96273291925466,10.38536922015183,33.41683919944789,9.994966539143718,3.2957737750172544,657,25,118,13,9,219,103,161,0.203,0.662,0.135,-0.8868,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,0,6,10,1,0,7,0,5,1,0,4,1,29,19,14,0,3,11,0,0,3,0,2,1,2,1,1,11,5,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,3,4,12,7,20,14,5,19,0,2,2,0,6,8,1,8,13,83,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039080483447624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862179726427945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5073633274747622,0.07447004107312546,0.0,0.09945606984439534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298907262099846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088569497218196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107714931441804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20422343836166712,0.24584469022951266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346052243720557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692417090558666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122497797155802,0.0,0.0,0.0921688391267451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313827668358935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824697727423631,0.08782184078186035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010782177452715,0.1008259047141826,0.0,0.0,0.1091585893385792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449860346243563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794894567837708,0.3561740792548833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512158912546103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783925298649997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451955342956828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106311323055651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733279089109377,0.1327183515399145,0.10945418031378117,0.0,0.0,0.07839807016635036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543527138958116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704392198592323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345353267699751,0.0,0.08202816519268473,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MentallyUnchallenged,2019/02/09,"My Roommate is Paranoid. Please Help. My roommate has been becoming increasingly paranoid over the past year. It started with suspicion over vans parked in front of our apartment (we live downtown and there are always vans parked on the street in front of our apartment). I'll spare the details, but the past three months things have been getting progressively worse to the point I am very worried. His girlfriend of over 6 years left him, his employer fired him, and now he thinks people are trying to kill him. Today he woke me up yelling that he figured it all out and all the evidence is on his USB drive and to find it if he ends up dead. He was on his laptop in the basement parking garage today so that the satellites couldn't hack his laptop. He has unplugged our internet, AppleTV, and basically all electronics that he thinks are listening to us. He thinks people in our apartment are spies and sometimes follows them to see where they go. He thinks big companies are collaborating against him and mocking him through the ads that get displayed to him. I could go on but I think that demonstrates my point. 

Any attempt for me to reason with him just builds resentment. He doesn't trust me and is questioning my loyalty even just for doubting his delusions. He just gets mad if I try to suggest therapy even when I tell him I need it too and I'll go with him. He is a heavy smoker, takes Adderall daily for the past decade, and smokes weed, all things that I know aren't helping and I fear are leading to full-on schizophrenia. He also had a rough childhood with abusive parents who kicked him out at 18. Everything I look up about paranoid personality disorder, Adderall psychosis, and schizophrenia fall perfectly in line with what I know about his back story and personality. 

He is a friend, I want to help. I don't want to walk away like others in his life. I just don't know what to do. The internet tells me not to deny his delusions which I've been trying not to do but he sees it in my face that I don't believe him. He is a very smart guy and can rationalize just about anything to the point where he is never wrong and everybody around him 'just doesn't get it.'

I've thought about calling his doctor to get his Adderall cut off, but I know this would basically kill our friendship if he found out and he needs it to work and make income. I've also caught him stealing mine when he ran out which I removed from the apartment and take to work with me now. We barely scraped by on rent this month because people gave him money to help. I know next month we will most likely get evicted. I'm his only support where we live and I know he won't be able to afford even a plane ticket home. I don't want an eviction on my record or be on the hook for the $15k remaining rent we owe and I can't afford our rent on my own. This is affecting me but he just gets defensive and angry if I bring it up. 

Sorry I really needed to vent. It's just me and him living together in a city where we don't know many other people. I'm at a loss. I feel helpless. Is there anything I can do?",4.514651162790699,5.636352798690673,4.8223316712975315,85.7971735241503,70.11292962356792,7.647714383587714,28.6119209835192,7.9007802657071995,1.6804189167586498,2444,88,493,30,43,770,273,611,0.13699999999999998,0.775,0.08800000000000001,-0.9896,12,0,2,0,1,0,51.0,13,0,2,7,31,20,7,2,23,0,45,4,1,4,6,99,94,37,3,13,20,1,3,2,2,3,3,2,4,3,28,39,0,1,19,1,5,15,14,13,0,1,11,8,81,7,74,76,7,81,0,2,3,0,82,46,0,8,22,319,109,7,0.07490693666019432,0.08875247106940261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980610036805317,0.06232857197086555,0.0,0.0,0.05093928559724119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328405277339835,0.06668305482037844,0.0,0.0,0.07037753277782283,0.05759881056243056,0.0,0.04566257332700497,0.08272882640206096,0.0,0.08439446640786377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648835742765471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598070936902546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858498390452304,0.07667042375038992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634531232420568,0.0,0.0,0.14842597559974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732152464302428,0.0,0.0,0.08429112911074184,0.03787519787701007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684635830538398,0.0,0.0,0.08213158970440143,0.05787291344897572,0.0,0.2739504791460854,0.0,0.12771401500506355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416964414539766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008341626914811,0.0,0.07513776500847133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657468540570327,0.0,0.28816825381967576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138660585603978,0.0,0.05290898462439316,0.07319149111330234,0.0,0.1984325922889483,0.0,0.06290296100048698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000096188257549,0.07594387666482925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937000656491667,0.0,0.0,0.16662763317355822,0.057772847418507564,0.0,0.07966437693878509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05697010076591906,0.0,0.0,0.08317528852285178,0.0,0.21452144081613106,0.20772415286905813,0.1308116955928889,0.0,0.08222532232198773,0.21243380161654246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391291231721602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04798730172625562,0.07701680661936326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938226056878412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408487572234304,0.08385218286985645,0.05301951531197266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500350403462835,0.0,0.0,0.11264138817035298,0.0,0.13094392859578133,0.0,0.08566261027519441,0.0,0.09952968052600683,0.2399867020115807,0.0,0.0594677405221748,0.0,0.0,0.14200603463131134,0.0,0.0,0.15257067891543555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010382175436582,0.0,0.0,0.1236121352673882,0.1325461560419699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906628405186262,0.0760716302476608,0.07633656793537083,0.05321173861839554,0.08189897615000462,0.0,0.09647522257755292
mentalhealth,Sephenon,2019/02/09,"My life...help? This is a little more unloading a secret, and searching for answers:

My baggage, for your perusal and amusement. I'm sweating bullets after typing this. So scared and shaky. My baggage, before this is deleted for a baggageless rant, is that no one ever gets to match my face to this. I want to have someone hold me and tell ME, the FULL ME, it's ok, too. Just like Hitler did wanted in the alone and darkness, just like all breathing things to. The wolf that killed ten fawns still longs for life as the hunter guts it alive. I never started out liking this shit or being like this, and keep in mind that I'm not even kind of the only one JUST. LIKE. ME:

​

My life is about 90% lies. I'm a pathological sociopath. I don't know if I enjoy or hate my life, I just know I am not happy ever. There's ALWAYS lingering fear. It's gripped me like a vice since I was a kid, and I'm tweaking now just imagining it. I barely fear death anymore. I'm sure that's until I'm about to die, but I know my basic instincts are sound in that I don't remember before my life, and I fucking won't after either. I have this non-physical (I consider it non-physical because here, it would just be social and not physical) anxiety of someone running up and saying, ""YOU MOTHER FUCKER, <my name>! I JUST FOUND YOU BULLSHITTED <insert, like, 20934 lies that I've built 23835498 lies on top of>!"" Even then, not only COULD I not stop, I wouldn't. I'd dig a deeper hole I think. I don't think I'd do much. I have SO many lies in place as nets to catch me when I finally fall that government officials are invoked some lol.

I'm an extremely capable person with specialized combat type training, so for this please just trust that no one would find me really besides authorities of a federal level that wouldn't care because the laws I've broken are quite minor for the most part...that people know about or that I fear them finding is best to say. I could ghost my family, and they'd be fucked since I do everything and make the money and my spouse is completely dependent due to zero skills but anxiety.

I live in this weird tragic comedy that's not COMPLETELY of my own making in my head, but that I just wish I could end anytime like I ""CAN."" Make no mistake, I've lied nonstop for all of my life. I ""could"" stop. And I could walk right up to a police officer and say, ""I love <insert insanely awkward sex fetish that will never let me live how I want due to judgement ((fyi it's not just being queer persay, for those calculating or trying to help or something))> and I would kill my spouse or yours so I'd survive just a little better without blinking!"" , and that cop would cock an eyebrow at best, say, ""...um...what? Are you ok?"" or probably pinch their brow, say, ""Alright, then...person, look, get out of here, quit shouting please."" No one with ANY POWER to do anything would ever even blink at my depravity. No one gives a shit that I can't communicate normally due to having keep up my lies/wanting to keep them going. No one actually cares or is legally allowed to do anything about the fact that I'm interested in torture if it's on someone that tortures (which I logically can reason everyone totures. Non-bread winner tortures breadwinning spouse, child tortures parent, slacker tortures boss, boss tortures spouse, and over and over and U, S, A! U, S, A.!)....

I've gained a significant amount from my lies. I've done some atrocities. I don't think anything that's resulted directly in death before, or even SERIOUS dismemberment, but I've watch mothers drag kids away while leaving toys or a wallet laying somewhere, and just internally smile because she was saying racist shit earlier and I don't like her now so fuck her stuff. I find faults with all people. I understand I'm more riddled with them than most, but I don't care. Everyone is pretty equally fucked over all. There's just exceptions. Like me to the dark end.

One of the most entertaining (horrifying and traumatizing) things is my rambling, but also my secret-and-only-used-when-I-want-something-talent of active listening. I can't stop rambling when engaged. Imagine a person trained to be alone, who's spouse isn't who the person thought so now the person doesn't talk to spouse about honest thoughts due to fragility of their mind, and is now truly alone due to NO ONE KNOW ALLLLL of this at once or even close to in a few pieces. Then make sure you drop that person in a world where no one can talk with them because they'd either hit the loner in the face or vomit and run away. Right there. That's me.

If you'll talk, I can't hold it back. I will have great convo, but it WILL turn to me just blaaaabbing...until you start to talk too much. Then, I'll tune in from thinking about what I will say next about whatever you say to hear you telling me, ""....so yeah, I'll do that. Selling drugs seriously is still the most logical way to make real money and retire."" Right there, I know you're a 20 year old, working at <some store> and are a moron not at least TRYING to be more intellectual and improve, now wasting my time SO IN THAT CASE MOVE OR DIE. I CAN'T TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT DEVELOPED OR TRYING TO AND WON'T BE OPEN. I'd like to know some day if I have a serious mental disability, some legendarily lame but just me shit, but three 4-hour psychiatric testing appointments only detected OCD. I didn't tell those shrinks and testers all of this, obviously. Just told them the rambling was coming from stress. The rambling TRULY became fully out of control during a time (for a few years past) where I would have to lie just to not be in suicide inducing conditions of retaliation-based ostracizing and physical labor punishments at a job I had for those years.

I also remember my first lie, btw. Or so I believe. It was in the basement of my childhood church, hilariously enough. I know it may not be the FIRST lie, but I was about 4, so it's one of my earliest, most vivid memories honestly. 

A friend told me and another kid his family got a golden retriever. I think my dog had just died, so I said I had 1000 golden retrievers. I did not (-\_-), so he told me so, it became nuh-uh, yus-huh, and so on. I think my little mind realized only one thing from that conversation, and not to ""just tell the truth."" It just heard, ""Improve,"" I guess. 

By fourth grade, my teacher told me she was catching me blaming everyone for my problems. I was a fucked kid for some reason, and I remember directly thinking, ""Fine, I'll make it their fault."" I combined a stupid work ethic that eventually got like, what 2060 SATs (not that smart) and a vicious urge to move through life completely untouched to now outwork/improve beyond people just so I can say they're fucked in my head to myself, and move on. If I see a chance to take advantage of someone I know is a lying, evil acting, close minded, cruel, etc etc, sack of shit, then I do. And all people are something, so if they're not OVERLY a good person, hey fuck that. I don't have time in my 60 years left. Fuck you.

Dude at work that is sexually harassing girls, and insulting college kids due to their degrees being new types of degrees that let 22 y/o's make the 100k a year some deserve finally and almost shouting stubbornly that they'll never work out and get anywhere, AND that is blatantly inappropriate with me just because of my general demeanor and known violent off hour hobbies???? Oh yeah. I'm taking your half done work, finishing it myself, and turning it in EVERYTIMEEE. Even if I was only 45% done and you're just 46%? My fucked morals say, even if it's going to be harder for me to modify this for me and turn it in than finishing, fuck that guy.

There's a lot of Good Will Hunting, ""Cause fuck him, that's why,"" in my life. Literally constantly sign myself up for an asswhooping just because I'm already getting beat, might as well get a swing in on the way down, even if it becomes a murder.

I have taken weapons places they shouldn't go, stalked others out of paranoia, and many other crazy things. I smoke pot and drive constantly, and don't mind drinking and driving. If you logically hate me enough now, dip. I would. Here's the part where you know I'm going to die so since I have a race car and definitely drive INSANELY recklessly, so...you know. I'll only be a problem for so much longer.

I feel superhuman somewhat much of the time, but only because I've performed MANY socially described ""super-human"" level acts. I have learned certain martial arts in a time that's INSANE comparatively to others, have survived insane bodily harm as a kid and young adult, and have surpassed many hundreds of people in my mentioned training time during rigorous and recorded testing. I have an INSANE amount of stamina in the physical endurance and pain tolerance realms.

My anger is so violent in my mind that 90% of what I do is just echo chamber evil thoughts specifically about ""evil"" people, blast rage music like rap or metal, and focus on the evils in our world. This started around 8 years ago. I live an insanely mentally taxing lifestyle due to how I feel or lack of. It's like instead of feeling, I just have anxiety, worry, upset, sadness, and anger. That's all though. And even those pass QUICKLY. I imagine violence and carnage like I've seen before only worse. I imagine it happening to people that deserve it imo: Trump, Hillary, those at the peaks of our society just letting us wallow in our own stupidity, all of us smart or stupid stuck down in the mire.

My friend (I have 3-5 depending on how many years have passed) told me that I have a ""Voice"" I ""use"" with people I encounter. She told me it's a voice that's creepy as fuck. She says I talk like a child. Well, I explained, that is because about 98% of the people I meet I could pull out my pistol and shoot in the face or take out my knife and gut and THEY NOR ANYONE ELSE WOULD DO SHIT. I treat people that I'll never see again like sheep or babies, because they essentially are TO ME, and why else should I really care? No one seems to care about me? People cut my hours, take my money for disobedience, not worry about my health, disregard my personal and family needs, disrespect my values and beli...see where I'm going? Don't gotta follow, just wondering.

I'm starting to suppose that if it's that kind of society that propagates this, then fuck you all. I care about transgenders and gays getting justice. I just don't fucking want to hear Kardashian or Jenner. I don't even want them murdered. I want them replaced with education shit on black holes or sustainable filtration building, or videos about peace talks and how Australia is improving wind energy. We should be hearing about how many kids a day SURVIVE CANCER, how many CURES DOCTORS MAKE YEARLY. Stop this trash, and if not, Idc. I'll just keep brutally abusing anyone and anything I meet. BLM, feminism? All causes I'll get behind and endorse, but our world's media is too much and evil. Dude, if you're tearing down statues of racists, burn america. Otherwise, stop doing that fucking pathetic shit. You deserve rape or beating to death. Just like the sweat shop owners. You are PLUNGING us into chaos. I will not forgive or suggest a lesser punishment. You are evil, and doing out of selfishness and fear. If you wanted me to kill Taliban doing that girls in Afghanistan, then don't even dare be surprised that I feel this way about Zuckerburg, too.

I've always found meeting other liars interesting since I'm like this, too. I wonder how foolish I look sometimes. For instance, I know people can tell I'm lying. Look, I know many can. Here's the thing, all you cuties out there with your little minds thinking, ""Omg, he's so full of shit, what a liar he's just saying this because he's cruel.""   LOOK AT HOW YOU THINK INSIDE. I JUST LET IT OUT. Those are the thoughts I have when I know someone is onto me for SURE. I usually will relinquish whatever falsehoods I've put out that I can possibly relinquish, then either feign complete ignorance relying that everyone thinks I'm the ultimate in kindness and ""wouldn't heart a fly,"" and, ""is probably pretty autistic which is why he's so weird,"" or just attack that person as a stupid person which literally will ALWAYS WORKS with how I can dominate a conversation if no one knows how or is assertive enough to stop me. I just use someone's sexism/racism/misinformation to guide them into being wrong loudly or evil enough to be framed.

Even more interesting is when I meet that liar and the shoe is on the other foot. Sometimes, I'll get caught lying. I'm done for. So I'll leave the bar, disengage that person, and just avoid the place. But sometimes I'll come back. FUN FACT: MOST OF THE PEOPLE THAT CAN CATCH ME LYING OR SAY THEY KNEW I WAS WHEN I UNVEIL I WAS LYING (JUST TO CATCH THEM IN A LIE)....ARE LIARS!!!!! THEY THEMSELVES LIE AND KNOW WHAT TO CATCH PEOPLE IN!!! So, as I said, I'll go back, and find that person again. And I wait. Active listening is a HUGE skill that I find most liars have. It helps us lie. We don't care, and I find that advantage in lying is the only reason I listen actively or even half-attentively. AND EVERY TIME, WITHOUT FUCKING FAIL, THEY WILL START TO LIE AS WELL.  I don't know if I AFFECTED THEM, I don't know if you're ALLLL just like me and hiding it. I don't know, and am too paranoid to care. But dude. Watching you not liars try to lie is literally the same as watching a kid try to tie his shoes the first time. OMFG it is just PRECIOUS. You leave lose ends, talk about stuff you didn't just read enough articles and watch videos about but you just saw half a netflix doc, you give away a million body language cues, you haven't mastered ANY nonverbal tells I mean. Dude, if you've ever caught a kid lying, adults that really don't lie well sound just the same to a sociopath.

Dunno. Been looking for a place to say all this shit. It's horribly sad for me, even if you hate me. This is probably more of a pity hitler moment, which is fine. If I meet you, I'll guarantee I'll do something to deserve that hatred.

Another thing I'm really interested in is buying some audio surveillance gear for my home, car, and some sort of voice magnification tech but unnoticeable so I can fully eavesdrop.

Btw, there is lots of bipolar level happiness in my life, just more of an 89-11 % blend. Probably less, but that's for another time. This is all true as best I can prove it to me in my mind. No one will ever have been able to track all I've lied about. I kinda can, but fuck it's getting hard not that my middle years are around.

​

Please, god, read this and respond. I'd love to talk. I don't talk to many people if I can help it. I've read many articles where sociopaths like me know we hurt people, and honestly would LOVE to pretend the world is ok and we're not just doing what is logical and we're evil. So we stay away when we can...but then I just hear some fucking straight fucking cunt say, ""DUDE THAT FUCKING TRASH FUCKING MUSIC DURING THE SUPER BOWL HALFTIME WAS FUCKING GROSSS!! GROSSSSS!! DUDE! WTF HAPPENED TO BON JOVI, MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN?>!?>!?>!!?"" and I debate testing good ol' Dooku's words about how it sounds when you knife someone in the back into the lungs.",3.8857457269662703,5.67604072300945,4.6057620314061625,84.13029720664713,72.60661268556005,7.5922484034353666,26.740405084161964,8.289261462395498,1.7707022078046744,12029,425,2321,195,239,3858,931,2964,0.227,0.652,0.121,-0.9999,4,4,7,3,0,1,540.0,13,32,23,33,177,204,85,10,112,7,204,75,27,35,34,501,399,227,14,56,141,9,7,21,2,32,16,35,1,27,148,127,2,18,75,15,7,34,72,118,4,23,49,57,292,86,276,289,73,268,2,8,15,31,195,123,36,83,127,1481,440,27,0.018156811421780317,0.021512852511034405,0.01771842879612209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016094917806095562,0.0,0.018181423892937063,0.05641494247543428,0.020036492901652228,0.02903999106824487,0.0453237648442744,0.03934579517932658,0.04412502647901652,0.02469450878080853,0.057116999691864914,0.04166973312085093,0.0,0.018006678049636474,0.025391329426004097,0.018603798974318343,0.07470754369764931,0.0323268232658951,0.0,0.020655994194678205,0.0682356880657828,0.05584586892106325,0.0,0.12175046089015222,0.020052771707131302,0.061800436830336224,0.020456508835231032,0.057163360202738885,0.01605822420493514,0.0,0.0201681243294634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809663466042008,0.03730409370812034,0.0,0.031280970651816266,0.07614828531177331,0.03924212564302899,0.020364407914538984,0.08698041892259781,0.0,0.0,0.023419282583033274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537561465990414,0.0,0.0,0.01858426586016801,0.0,0.0743228879790432,0.0,0.017786762823043152,0.02105613684315012,0.0,0.03033537222348638,0.0,0.04824463707764425,0.09380419910165393,0.040499288543256254,0.1678936378436667,0.08211937714035869,0.015297896719705275,0.0693984456262824,0.016318171347937182,0.0,0.05134987768085858,0.08172584297421763,0.03672251762397473,0.0,0.0,0.039779798829259014,0.09956998020680284,0.04633252355986478,0.0,0.03981601310967246,0.02805581492909872,0.3692849508584391,0.08537566115812371,0.0348353359647102,0.06191360612928702,0.04568721592951856,0.029043321500574207,0.020017948691687992,0.02000177479811073,0.017978097917387782,0.03211201675297955,0.03865652676604329,0.016264936672698432,0.05377827678818667,0.03726825351793722,0.019299841490572792,0.081856184276824,0.021515908956448213,0.04868051186744274,0.0,0.01821276227195964,0.0,0.053642405517936816,0.0,0.019437242155121742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01801783369415411,0.06455443298708023,0.060263465048346565,0.05672257515109432,0.19957017431539684,0.0,0.0,0.0576763249771738,0.019727428735877538,0.0742662793615235,0.11542223581119007,0.18628051941894447,0.07279158004053589,0.04809839140091338,0.016068206746740855,0.07623574342243572,0.02031282764847841,0.0,0.030872543554153524,0.04916169359221136,0.0,0.09695850091191742,0.18408156957444996,0.0,0.019778090489981567,0.0,0.0,0.0365955907710641,0.01926150762139236,0.14666562888706836,0.0,0.0,0.057893451275078826,0.06673672772253315,0.013463045605127958,0.056014609201583035,0.017535961613408754,0.019309974931597917,0.0,0.017789820137258994,0.0,0.0,0.01905251928272602,0.01933641158997565,0.17224935449919845,0.12428165937169673,0.01932012750316305,0.0,0.020160990370122967,0.03932411480286325,0.01733273098812544,0.20140235014559316,0.19024592871161103,0.07588001382176945,0.059792179658928364,0.0,0.020469076767010482,0.0,0.03694400941496917,0.07830445461462172,0.03474723279939911,0.0,0.01825261042385445,0.0,0.03862400782631572,0.054485174738438086,0.020666426429881417,0.046526873314081466,0.05600467846278656,0.0,0.0,0.06170438364607051,0.04651745324120477,0.034542571060183616,0.21658537805472047,0.018178135714564475,0.0,0.02893725586571905,0.016529279196242603,0.0,0.0,0.18637706004066346,0.060078008141635185,0.0,0.0,0.03701716540665212,0.10768945177616053,0.02795600098806786,0.05387265229381991,0.0,0.06425742288465815,0.01935274513498661,0.029000106111086443,0.09107944414083237,0.02079856613818709,0.0,0.041570410197730265,0.01986060472568486,0.0,0.05133773966397321,0.0,0.0546066501844677,0.14593757253034245,0.0952191208589667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237547231621333,0.1163415161916449,0.01783897503473231,0.05765792053350755,0.0952864447792475,0.0,0.0,0.1040976684394236,0.0,0.06163641555492606,0.05924819090173958,0.0,0.01890188102441993,0.08736163420470508,0.031363310813741385,0.019997162606094902,0.0,0.09638422022995882,0.04323609532980918,0.0,0.0,0.06530061605428772,0.0,0.04915109459039635,0.0,0.02087943706907994,0.03500503656653935,0.039380574938400914,0.07931024976981853,0.03687824670283596,0.018503342018590233,0.11608270100697105,0.019851622985708414,0.04412502647901652,0.10523152135062427
mentalhealth,Tobiaseins,2019/02/09,"[19] I fail to establish meaningful friends or relationships I never manage to form a meaningful connection to anybody I come to know. All my friendship usually never leave the space they are in. During school and University I have  never anybody of them in private. (Besides some party's). I am not even that unpopular, I get along with a lot of people very well. It's just that it always scratches the surface, not more. I have also never been in a relationship, mostly because my social anxiety keeps me from talking to new girls and I would never ask a girl out I know from my peer group. Sometimes I even manage to get a more a important bond with a girl but I often fall for her then which ends the friendship with her.
In grades 7-9 I also was bullied which is probably good to know for context.
Does anybody have an idea how my problem is called and how I can improve my situation?",4.040476190476191,5.949566368421053,5.320939849624062,78.66907894736845,72.4502923976608,7.926649958228906,29.758145363408524,8.634040054169528,2.5042461152882205,703,30,126,13,14,234,105,171,0.075,0.7879999999999999,0.136,0.7482,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,1,9,5,0,0,11,0,11,0,0,2,6,35,19,10,0,2,5,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,6,9,0,1,6,0,0,2,7,2,1,0,2,1,23,3,22,16,7,18,0,1,0,0,15,7,0,5,9,102,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254884627462928,0.11730933429688532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785177863161148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318002808547212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594206332494735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395963211694598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144456189593884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337536728635827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248692882954146,0.0,0.0,0.18623617643724266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892328727977313,0.0,0.14731582883030145,0.0,0.0,0.11825003736967647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915289664328042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531236514077768,0.0,0.0,0.23244207467541225,0.0,0.0,0.14928087529820022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985889339178067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5436747591673193,0.13616247393785866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774001441042182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200375798794152,0.13490190286579884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027264369890156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268254698843508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584710480374491,0.0,0.14371463997966907,0.0,0.0,0.13943601108842882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331697316799964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552731006266289,0.11632592277272158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676084761755022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015043561437076,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LoveMyRache,2019/02/09,"I can't decide whether my thoughts are real or unreal This started with one particular thought about something from past. Even though I know I didn't do that thing, I can never feel completely convinced about that. It's so disturbing and it causes anxiety everytime I replay that thought in my mind. My whole day is full of thinking about that, I don't know how to convince myself. I feel like this mindset is consuming me, I have no will to do anything anymore.

​

I realized that this not only about thoughts. Earlier, I needed to measure my height. After measuring it, I was suspicious whether I did it correctly. Then I did it again and again and again and again. It feels like I can't even convince myself about what I see. And I still feel an urge to measure it again every once in a while.

​

It's really really hard to live like that. I think I need to get professional help, but I want to know if there is anyone who lived through same things. 

​",4.059739304812837,6.193245732620326,4.428018048128339,84.13261530748666,72.95721925133691,7.8835561497326205,29.33455882352941,8.660442795831766,2.367064438502674,780,33,146,15,16,245,106,187,0.062,0.87,0.068,0.0016,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,0,17,7,0,1,2,0,16,0,0,2,2,37,35,15,0,4,6,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,21,6,0,0,15,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,8,6,26,6,19,26,3,17,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,2,16,115,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449464414640569,0.3868461876058732,0.0,0.0,0.08118233665987996,0.0,0.10524359697567992,0.07420232742043853,0.0,0.08732860773414154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090155828003954,0.0,0.0,0.11126593461117544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843931820278402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018394657559796,0.0,0.0894115878845705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146320289670489,0.15162584324158898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544388494639745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506364446000568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113072379902936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496411278181187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553619968980267,0.0,0.1874137178744613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715204030295084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737487412453524,0.08184711998669615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301548807179056,0.0719103910634209,0.0807098642596696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130457986607802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078902327894342,0.13596776401809893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456476218208803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169719292280349,0.0,0.0,0.07511304748301781,0.0,0.08474843253691512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100426183321493,0.13599620771650556,0.104263423483183,0.3369931385654309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259296320037437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184803973692588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3868461876058732,0.0
mentalhealth,NoManGoFlowersGrow,2019/02/09,"I need help trying to understand what exactly I'm dealing with or what I should do, any advice is welcomed and greatly appreciated! Hi, this is something I feel I've been struggling with for a while but I've never built up the courage to see anyone about it because it just feels so daunting. Almost as if if I see someone and something is diagnosed then that makes it real and for some odd reason that terrifies me. I've always felt if I keep my thoughts to myself then it's only my problem and not the problem of others and if it's something only I know about then it has the potential to go away and not have any lasting impact on my life. I know this all sounds quite irrational but I've decided that things are getting out of hand recently and I need some advice or insight off of anyone here just to try and understand the things I'm experiencing.

​

Essentially, and I really don't want to be one of those people who self-diagnose themselves, I believe I have some form of OCD and have been dealing with OCD type symptoms since as early as I can remember. To further explain the types of things I'm talking about I'll make a brief list of things that I find impact my life and past symptoms I exhibited.

​

Ever since I can remember I've gone through many different habits or rituals that I would do multiple times a day and for some reason could not stop myself from doing. These include: 

\- rapidly blinking far more than normal 

\- running my hands up my legs from my ankle to hip

\- saying this sort of prayer under my breath as an apology every-time I would yawn, burp, have my bones make a cracking sound etc

\- open my eyes really widely and look up as far as I could with my eyes (as if I would be stretching my eyes)

\- have to finish a song if someone would hum the beginning of a tune (people used to wind me up with this by humming something knowing I would have to finish it)

\- having to start my sentence from the beginning if someone would interrupt me

\- many, many more.

​

Bear in mind these were all things I did throughout the ages of maybe 5-11? I never had more than one habit at a time as I recall and I would jump from one to another. These past few years of my life I have developed other rituals which I feel compelled to perform and these have remained relatively consistent with many at the same time. These ones from the ages of maybe 12-19 (my current age) include these:

​

\- having to tap a certain sequence constantly throughout my day, to the point where I don't even realise I'm doing it. I'll be thinking of something else and then just realise I'm doing that pattern that I always do with my toes, fingers and teeth. Sometimes, especially when I get stressed, this becomes so bad I'll lay in bed trying to sleep feeling completely awake and just doing that sequence of taps and I can't fall asleep because I'm just doing the sequence over and over.

\- if I touch something, I have to touch all of it. For example; if I touch part of a light switch or a door handle in my house then I will have to make sure my hand is in contact with all of the surface area of that thing.

\- constant worrying about whether or not I've closed the door properly. When I would walk to school, sometimes I'd be half way there and had been walking for 10 minutes and would doubt myself so much that I would have to turn back to make sure I had closed the door properly. I did at one stage come up with a solution for this, every-time I'd close the door I'd do some sort of weird movement that was memorable and if I doubted whether I had closed the door I would try to remember whether I had done the movement or not. This eventually stopped working however.

\- I had obsessive and intrusive thoughts that I can't stop thinking about. My girlfriend could make an innocent joke that most others would laugh off or ignore but to me I would pretend to be fine with it but then I'd constantly be thinking about what she said, coming up with all different kinds of interpretations which ends up with me worrying about what she meant by what she said. This is happening as I write this, I'm thinking of something I heard her say like 5 months ago to a person sitting next to me and something she said a couple of days ago. I honestly can't help it. I'll be lying in bed at night just analysing everything she's ever said to me and coming up with these horrible conclusions that I reach about how she doesn't love me, is cheating on me, is planning on breaking up with me etc. It's not fair on her. I never tell her these things I'm thinking about as I don't want to come across as insecure or someone who fixates on everything and I make sure that I don't show that these things are even on my mind. I'll just act 'normal' as usual (before someone tells me it's unhealthy for me to be in relationship where I take things out on her). If anything, when I'm stressing about these things I'll be as romantic and kind as I can just to make sure I'm being as perfect a boyfriend I can be to her. These thoughts eat me alive.

\- I'll get random thoughts telling me to do something and it's incredibly hard to resist (nothing illegal or dangerous to other people). For example; one time I was abroad and something in my head told me to throw my laptop off of the hotel balcony and I knew deep down I couldn't just destroy my laptop like that so I had to compromise. The compromise was that I would lean over the balcony (safely) and throw my laptop in the air slightly and catch it. I have no idea what I would have done if I hadn't have caught it, but I only threw it a couple of inches out of my hands. Another is example was about almost a year ago when I was out with my friends drinking and I had the compulsion to smash a pint glass over my head to prove something to myself. Luckily I only ended up with very minor, unnoticeable cuts to my head. I realise this may sound like the most insane and dangerous part of what I'm saying but nothing forced me to do it. I just wondered whether I could and wanted to prove to myself so I did it. 

\- my sleeping pattern has become very irregular as of lately. I'll either sleep for 20 something hours and wake up with it dark outside, or I'll stay awake for ridiculous lengths of time. This has only happened once but it was a couple of days ago when I staying awake for almost 70 hours trying to complete an assignment that I left till last moment (which I end up doing with all uni assignments). It got to the point where I was having mild hallucinations in my peripheral vision. I'll regularly wake up in the afternoon and I just cannot force myself to get out of bed, even if I have had more than enough sleep. I just don't have the energy so I will stay in bed for the entire day. Uni can be quite lonely and I can easily go more than 2 days without any real contact with people (I know this is unhealthy).

\- sometimes I struggle to have the motivation to shower or eat and I will end up going as long as 3 days without eating anything substantial. It's not even as if I am hungry, I just cannot imagine myself eating at that moment. These days of not eating usually go with the days I spend not sleeping. If I'm awake for 2 days straight usually that destroys my appetite and I just do not eat for those days. Typically my dorm room will just become a mess with plates, bowls, clothes everywhere to the point where it looks like a bomb has gone off. I know I could easily clean it up and it would take less than half an hour but I just don't. I want to, but I just don't. 

\- I'll have periods where I'm massively in the mood for working out and doing all my uni work and I have all this motivation and I'm ready to make a real change in my life but before I can implement a decent schedule I'll just go into a slump where I don't eat, sleep, do work, tidy up or do anything at all to be honest.

\- I'll have moments where for no logical reason I'll just get the feeling that everything good in my life is about to crumble to pieces before my eyes and that all the good things that have happened for me will come to an end and I just won't know what to do. I guess you can describe it as I have this prediction that everything is about to go very wrong and I'm on edge waiting for the first brick that makes up the foundation of my life to just fall away leading to the eventual collapse of everything. 

​

All of this combined has been really hard to deal with but I'm used to going about my daily life. I can't really say any of these things massively impact my life as I'm pretty equipped to deal with them and just carry on, but they're always there, in my head just tapping that sequence and eating me away. It's definitely gotten worse since going to university but when I speak to family and friends and they ask how things are going I just have to say everything is fine and I'm enjoying but it's not. Everything isn't okay. I know that everything isn't okay because despite not really mentioning any of this to anyone, whenever I begin to describe small details of how I feel to a friend I can feel my eyes welling up with tears and I know if I keep talking I'll end up sobbing and I don't want anyone I know to have to see that and now what I live with. If they did then the reputation I have will just disappear and I'll be constantly viewed in their eyes as someone with something wrong and their opinion of me will just completely change. I don't want to be seen as a victim or someone to feel sorry for. I really, really don't. I'm at the stage of typing this out where tears have began to roll down my cheeks. 

When I'm alone I just don't know how to deal with all of these things and the negative, pessimistic thoughts I described shroud my vision with this black cloud and instead of seeing a future where the storm clouds fade away and the light of a new day shines through, I just see bleak, barren emptiness slowly fading away into a void. What makes it even worse is the fact that I feel guilty for all of this. I have no reason to feel this way. At least if I did have some horrible traumatic experience in my childhood I could be justified for feeling all of this, but I don't. My life has been absolutely perfect. I have such great parents who have always done everything they can for me to have a good life and the rest of my family, friends and my girlfriend have all been amazing. Everything I've ever wanted in life has fallen so easily into place for me. I'm at my first choice university, one of the top 5 in the entire world. Nothing has ever gone massively wrong for me, no significant family deaths, horrible break ups, terrible injuries, nothing. Everything is exactly as I have ever wanted it to be, even more than that. There's nothing I would change in my life and nothing that could have gone any differently to make me happier. I have everything. Yet, I feel like I'm being slowly swallowed. Although at the end of the day I guess this is just a late-night rant for me, after having an inexplicably shitty day. Thank you to everyone who read this, I appreciate it. I honestly do. I feel like I may already know the answers that I'm going to receive, and that is 'see someone about this' and rest assured I will. I'm tired of feeling like this.",5.306862205000861,5.6305357271517344,5.863720133032881,81.90477287380392,67.9485359361136,8.988549213867591,30.457176051527906,8.882798385205266,2.2940857985483842,8915,321,1792,141,139,2890,627,2254,0.107,0.7859999999999999,0.108,-0.6388,8,3,14,0,0,0,210.0,0,2,6,17,92,72,8,8,85,2,204,60,31,26,36,402,356,168,1,58,94,1,25,7,6,29,18,15,13,1,142,114,10,9,63,7,1,38,47,28,1,11,56,61,233,43,326,245,44,276,2,2,18,1,67,120,1,53,115,1267,375,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04379557466687836,0.07945680365875017,0.0,0.06731804315042017,0.02320893600127928,0.024728856985737097,0.0,0.07458423683164085,0.12140055482207647,0.13614676413773538,0.09143321323313323,0.0469955204159189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267549487182122,0.0,0.055322021860498366,0.0,0.020949363110498675,0.0,0.10526983064005717,0.017231115651972637,0.018710554952987124,0.04098090260621702,0.07424684441742711,0.057205152051863425,0.02524723682417402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111716071067872,0.09651672243998556,0.07048613995573552,0.0968645478633408,0.0,0.12524218064324505,0.07438530131883091,0.0,0.20232705632812933,0.11551332681314745,0.0,0.04548926818489825,0.0,0.0702378162841896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879647338815822,0.0,0.02195226062012027,0.0,0.18343977578577056,0.018719820005571867,0.0,0.13893388021786862,0.023154457575308755,0.049983852929057264,0.0888054849168769,0.10135098707290653,0.0,0.021412732324818117,0.2416768608234523,0.021920273806559986,0.06337555118242945,0.0,0.15862908834789607,0.048026920570887886,0.02151612657594648,0.0,0.02048139373070009,0.03812211895977435,0.0,0.0,0.06925246233514046,0.0,0.058538812855259276,0.0,0.12735534764470868,0.05638674564171809,0.017922501390431923,0.04941193978151291,0.0493720164373291,0.0,0.05944853775352148,0.0,0.040148073301596934,0.0,0.09199227787785824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03004052210811807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662049681516164,0.025856944112370186,0.0,0.025297000888358238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03983624651700445,0.0,0.046670990299520584,0.13546922996546032,0.03653260487461159,0.05055659122513016,0.0,0.02434741280823694,0.0,0.1899374290939294,0.07663523995193199,0.0,0.01978753214672469,0.01983123436859775,0.03763578397773003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02022497143895832,0.0,0.17949794764765578,0.0908767183969848,0.04502564714026295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525334572364744,0.0,0.01788662704105179,0.0,0.016473172262701837,0.03323193644674336,0.05184954024353023,0.02164272405225177,0.023832195126437385,0.042058602946430566,0.04391206785894024,0.12901207360599676,0.0,0.0,0.02386482300934147,0.10629429197524294,0.08521516203343125,0.0,0.0,0.02488251062702106,0.048533464205730535,0.04278379733234286,0.06214223639071869,0.019566649322980325,0.0234126054280632,0.0,0.06355116309346913,0.0,0.0,0.02279797991062504,0.0,0.042884718137254384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04766939855398502,0.022415035415015612,0.07651894562076568,0.1004903254872746,0.09216061852981844,0.02212615565035361,0.02405884877673693,0.07615498810427583,0.0,0.08526425296679578,0.08910256675833275,0.0,0.02267907524177664,0.10714229262208468,0.0,0.02337744420703192,0.0,0.0,0.05561079770601733,0.0,0.1345509283210433,0.0,0.15189638882079198,0.2242697711212381,0.06648913662462151,0.025085008641537555,0.015861185174334675,0.07165494516533476,0.0,0.05620471006463782,0.05133880166196262,0.04685344447599052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844807607367728,0.04658300269785145,0.033697515066883885,0.03602296447449526,0.0587592857089984,0.02063116996756681,0.0,0.0,0.20842534653767675,0.07179381964519757,0.0,0.08895110024784629,0.06533425665945321,0.025755815935071383,0.0,0.021412732324818117,0.0,0.07607110250544602,0.024374525799238902,0.0,0.04665705868872433,0.0,0.03870831245363692,0.07404094767990159,0.0554692443641089,0.1057391346190196,0.0355743966198922,0.0,0.0,0.020148356344261355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043202897197795936,0.024301573395300008,0.06525599177752324,0.045514796081102614,0.04567331226895165,0.2706177336787031,0.07350207665951468,0.13614676413773538,0.028861285529182757
mentalhealth,Alternative_Whereas,2019/02/09,"By which measures does one choose a therapist?   I am currently in the process to see a therapist. Due to there being a relatively high demand for them I ended up talking to several before I found one that had time to take me in. Thing is, I feel like the on ewho has time to treat me isn't taking me seriously (being cautious with a diagnosis) while another one I was talking to said I had a severe case of depression. Is it just a case of being told what I want to hear that I prefer the one who diagnosed me after/during the firs session? Or is my gut more trustworthy than I am giving it credit for?

  Things are not helped by my relative low count of friends and the tendency to forget about me until I might be useful to them that they remember me..  FFS, I created this account to ask the internet for help since I don't believe I can trust anyone else. Or by calming myself to sleep by thinking of jumping seven floors down. The freindliest thing I heard this week was the remarks of a streamer and the community when I was resubscribing . This cannot stand if I am to hang around this.... lets call it reality. 

  To cut things short I'm feeling like I am fighting a war of attrition with time herself. And I think I am fighting a losing battle.  So why not cut my losses? And if there are people out there that care then I do not know about them. But hey, at least alcohol helps dull the pain  
",4.420825444907232,5.315737992805757,5.651567588034839,80.60409125331316,70.15107913669064,8.874214312760321,29.020068156001514,9.134995656068208,2.346795683453237,1094,40,217,21,19,366,160,278,0.153,0.705,0.142,-0.6515,1,0,1,0,4,0,26.0,0,0,4,2,9,21,6,0,19,0,27,5,2,1,0,30,46,14,1,4,9,0,2,2,1,1,3,3,0,0,18,8,1,0,9,0,2,2,6,13,0,5,9,6,35,8,40,31,2,26,0,5,1,0,22,12,0,5,13,166,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383595375871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150584402104248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810230298168755,0.11872841580792855,0.0,0.10315399880854828,0.10832819910989644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860174219298977,0.13055230763999726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832211274983295,0.0,0.11814306612852375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980362744156762,0.11761146330094413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140366367948052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679933362025443,0.0,0.1026315349061124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718053791034927,0.16556334073408438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705179643214076,0.08952532935156522,0.0,0.0,0.111158593439342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306004098502317,0.0,0.23300725013420204,0.1224291087757205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368229056787958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849082153482345,0.0,0.1132220922906815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963534225523413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292587600614245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140816716576407,0.0,0.1232999848484864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033366600885397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312646542213571,0.0,0.11022438872753597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233798299767418,0.0,0.0,0.2618132656570896,0.0,0.0958536310433006,0.0,0.11595945006938227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424831019539475,0.18627310279262035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26908139084636074,0.3079308401227391,0.14849702395940434,0.0,0.0,0.20270427296824453,0.0,0.0,0.1107242601378824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007945722665576,0.0,0.0,0.06834652901080866,0.0,0.09294854994829382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455985547179934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway20190209,2019/02/09,"How does purging (eating disorder) first start? My ex suffers from purging disorder (she doesn't binge, but she will occasionally vomit after eating a regular sized meal). Although we're no longer together, I still care for her deeply. For my own learning, how does purging first start? I understand how purging can be habit-forming since it gives you a sense of relief, control, etc. over your anxiety and stress, but how does it start in the first place? In other words, in their first episode, what compels a person to stick their fingers down their throat? This has always baffled me because if I were to stick my fingers down my throat, my body's immediate reaction is to stop because it feels very uncomfortable and I don't end up vomiting.

I'm also posting this in /r/EatingDisorders but thought I'd take a stab in /r/mentalhealth too. Thanks.",6.248293255131966,7.856994380645162,5.968680351906163,77.3675659824047,66.48387096774194,8.991202346041055,34.09090909090909,9.339509955726095,3.22958064516129,679,31,117,13,11,211,104,155,0.153,0.772,0.075,-0.899,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,3,5,7,5,0,1,5,0,8,10,5,6,0,18,19,12,0,1,4,1,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,7,2,3,2,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,2,3,18,3,17,15,2,22,0,1,0,0,11,10,0,1,11,76,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039968071135108,0.1148698509281066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560896801605413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830974383685876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334402006440834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075263610199987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483642032515912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.316437803771188,0.0,0.3624292167369496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825221600961333,0.0,0.0,0.12227259337856357,0.0,0.15396383951031964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980295226462684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697059119189205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324315134580751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054118598635476,0.14423436423602445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221511141559816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141975715664595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29314054345799523,0.0,0.11024805234049076,0.1154171791224653,0.15813744952701522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379749654389324,0.0,0.0,0.12709921127148666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095974169279316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371640990081244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390688974638358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,quellerosiel,2019/02/09,"Just when I feel like I was getting everything on track... Firstly, first time posting to this sub so hi. Been a reader for a while but felt like I had to mke a post today.

So this year has actually started fairly well. I had an awful run up to Christmas and a shitty New Year's Eve/Day but genuinely, I was feeling pretty good. I've been eating right, losing weight (in a good way that I actually feel amazing about not using it as a stick to beat myself with), exercising more, playing piano lots. I've even started trying a bit of yoga in the mornings just for fun. Its been pretty damn good.

Then this week happened. Firstly, my boss has been unexpectedly off so I've had to pick up mega slack. I'm a teacher so I've suddenly picked up planning, running a trip next week and a whole bunch of other stuff. Ok fine, its a challenge but a little extra time and some strategic planning and we got through the week unscathed. So already my stress levels are higher than usual and my reserves are lowered. Secondly, my parents. They were supposed to be coming Friday but I get a call from my mum and they now need to come Wednesday. Ok fine. I clean the house like a mad person, order extra food and generally get ready for them coming. The literal SECOND they get here everything is wrong. There isn't enough food in the house, I don't have the milk they like, ""Why are you so tired? People with normal jobs work all day too"" says my mum who hasn't worked properly in years, it goes on and on and on. My mum INSISTS on cooking EVERYTHING even though I have specifically said I want to cook so I can maintain my healthy eating. The first day she is here alone I come home to find my newly Konmaried kitchen totally rearranged, dinner in the oven with goodness knows what extra stuff in it, and PILES of really unhealthy snacks EVERYWHERE. My home is my safe place and suddenly its a trap.

I've eaten like shit today and I feel so crap about myself. My in laws are coming over tomorrow and all the hard work I put in on the kitchen is ruined and my husband is being a total ass about it all.

I needed a vent. Thank you.",3.091608187134504,5.015680284688997,4.125893141945774,86.16264088250935,75.10047846889951,6.5583200425305685,24.76900584795321,7.3871296695380915,1.1563299308878254,1661,55,325,20,36,538,225,418,0.136,0.685,0.17800000000000002,0.9354,3,1,0,0,0,0,49.0,1,2,5,13,23,28,4,1,28,3,29,18,3,4,5,56,56,31,0,4,7,5,7,5,0,0,2,2,6,1,16,23,13,1,8,5,0,9,4,8,1,6,14,9,40,20,44,40,15,65,0,2,0,1,20,23,4,2,34,218,56,6,0.0,0.0,0.15087560287658186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800638942572955,0.08530716749361998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843962246445759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789362873121613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33295385273455896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956454742584915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820310343270785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798759599661256,0.0,0.10211746247883102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20842823889403472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634941589391116,0.05522617509450023,0.07422420755989033,0.0,0.07065468842718252,0.2630198386596589,0.18695322357481625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615531301265254,0.0,0.0,0.259356565093301,0.06182727446319292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835989724225802,0.0,0.06924942822187166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508494119022453,0.0,0.0,0.17839746200476364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671254467355647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042484396771978516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188834770598573,0.07747917189304106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648368748878661,0.0,0.0657213130275678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464025087106827,0.0,0.07466093102517926,0.08221395200612132,0.0,0.07574175648301125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583722664356677,0.0,0.0,0.05359303678359188,0.06749909355079135,0.08076649292224823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807221450898952,0.15729243708058138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771212767954752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049523085130725286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601741123895097,0.0735340488366695,0.06147544620399267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935170668788184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943269889867567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855176272046847,0.0,0.17698975379188414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117137169047781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595103787234771,0.0,0.09015346530789928,0.08884986900831031,0.1465507892533865,0.0,0.0,0.05248451464294791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676605586304163,0.08513971522903703,0.0,0.04559605238111992,0.0613605192647596,0.1860264309042518,0.09413575649173317,0.06950580895721943,0.0,0.06975506607366312,0.08630743982020514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883525460977344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452006722805154,0.0,0.1493442167670288
mentalhealth,forbrothrthroaway,2019/02/09,"Help for Brother with Low Income Throwaway just in case. I don't really know where to post this exactly but I'm looking for advice on mental health options for adults with low income. 

My brother is 29 and has been asking parents for help with his mental health. He is afraid he will be stuck with a bill that neither of them can afford right now. He has acknowledged his worsening depression and the fact that he has really withdrawn himself from society and I believe he wants/needs to seek professional help. He needs to do this for himself but I just want to help point him in the right direction. I care a lot about him and want the best for him.  I am wondering what services are available to him that is low cost and if anyone has had good or bad experiences with any place in particular. I would hate to recommend him to a bad place that will make him feel worse.  Location in United States, Midwest region. I really appreciate any advice. ",4.754404761904767,6.5606714722222215,5.223174603174602,80.515,70.3888888888889,8.6984126984127,27.857142857142854,9.23628265651192,2.41504761904762,755,27,139,16,14,241,104,180,0.16699999999999998,0.652,0.181,0.2936,4,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,5,11,1,1,6,0,18,2,0,1,2,29,31,9,0,5,6,3,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,4,0,2,0,2,8,0,0,3,2,19,3,26,24,3,17,0,4,1,0,26,14,0,5,1,92,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672193117606353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18596034339133974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560385228014556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782283221059776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283254258096548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540463688244698,0.1434882843396265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940397276679406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776418725036353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374685741076842,0.0,0.0,0.06913411447220211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468150589346515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349912364093099,0.0,0.2906723258066634,0.0,0.0,0.3665853321355052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514249114200366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148176313314466,0.0,0.0,0.11624181010549572,0.0,0.0,0.09126743664112763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755806437293793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138256265978222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182098682810122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28570467936989385,0.0,0.12925277034339192,0.0,0.13094825291784934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26277562600686416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23353104274333625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16129220243129175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827639017838465,0.0,0.0,0.13933817700956053,0.09712811114161922,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CMaughan96,2019/02/09,"I don't want to kill myself, but What I'm doing to myself is so much worse. I'm painfully self-aware of it but can't stop. All I'm doing is prolonging my suffering and extending it to those I love. I don't know how to view things positively any more, I can't seem to do anything to help myself. I know I'm the only one who can do something about it and that just makes it worse. 
I don't have the will or motivation to end my life, but I certainly don't think it would be so bad if something happened to me. Anything good that happens, anything at all, doesn't touch the bitterness that consumes me for seemingly no reason.

As arrogant as this sounds, I'm a clever guy. I have been scoring in the 70s to 80s at university. My tutors think I have talent, I'm practical, I used to enjoy making things. I used to play multiple instruments. I've always had such potential, or so I've been told.

And yet here I am, not gone into uni for 2 weeks, put off work for 3. I sought out professional help, got given antidepressants which don't seem to have any effect after 3 months, supposed to be doing CBT but I've putting that off too. I'm in debt, I'm on the brink of failing my degree, I don't look after myself, and don't do anything I used to enjoy. Can't do the things I need to. 

I *won't* kill myself but I sure as hell don't want to be alive.",2.609187969924811,3.557903242105265,4.483909774436089,87.08736842105264,74.47368421052632,7.674185463659147,24.09774436090225,8.11559375814309,1.1608796992481203,1044,30,234,16,21,357,141,285,0.14800000000000002,0.648,0.204,0.9533,1,0,2,0,0,4,36.0,0,0,0,4,10,17,4,0,7,0,36,3,0,9,4,41,67,19,2,5,10,0,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,17,6,0,1,10,1,1,3,15,8,0,1,7,5,29,9,36,54,4,20,1,2,2,1,6,10,1,6,7,153,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674102204077847,0.0,0.0,0.15812711233004642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827017013065125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707564418406628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029754592301336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975167879015616,0.09298699970351433,0.0,0.0,0.11511971078658055,0.2056238706877601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585871411075794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572579405319308,0.0,0.12779138735581064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212075274396102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763253904522007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049328646838331,0.0,0.15521434239832746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928008734456609,0.0,0.08546747080324155,0.08620833658214216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878354446394274,0.08842406619611523,0.1237131703667546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337550104298864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953883028407733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31752733509283965,0.12128878386968353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17901152631853887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720197057066847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095775124026039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317220508913343,0.14899464624120226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110953036612547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301244488163753,0.0,0.0,0.1371511245176654,0.0,0.09326002601886962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846416294785241,0.0,0.23696604519047965,0.08259066132489895,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lvilgen,2019/02/09,"Need inpatient facility recommendations I have a close friend in NY who lives in Brooklyn who is struggling with alcoholism and mental health issues. I need recommendations for in patient treatment facilities that aren't scams and will treat her well and get her the help she needs. She's open to going out of state if needed but if it were in the NY area it would be better.

Or can you recommend a reputable website to find a good place for her?

Here are the attributes of the facility she's looking for:
EMDR
Trauma therapy
Alcoholism treatment 
12 step can't be required
Needs one on one sessions or individual therapy; not focused on groups",6.860593220338982,8.303803491525425,7.162500000000005,69.98239406779663,64.9322033898305,9.967796610169492,35.08898305084746,10.125756701596842,3.7860305084745765,524,24,87,12,8,170,81,118,0.066,0.773,0.16,0.8738,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,2,7,0,1,7,0,11,3,0,1,0,22,19,8,0,8,6,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,5,7,2,1,1,0,0,2,3,2,1,2,1,1,9,5,15,14,0,14,0,0,1,0,12,11,0,4,0,60,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34874700737297315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430596814360458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491296319403152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606068652837502,0.0,0.08524685116757827,0.0,0.09273029154953458,0.13685485689152135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17343650678754888,0.0,0.0,0.10936589726712452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030161479740125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407746976833016,0.0,0.13701730180527713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443169831887694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6049229993975345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22112932419192272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704724432408802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057523090743354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731862392110056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670471186334172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590756196363755,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oceanic-empress,2019/02/09,"What activities do you enjoy doing alone? I’m an adult major depression. I have two friends that live at least three hours away from me and are constantly busy with college, work, etc. I feel like having some irl social interaction with people other than my parents would greatly benefit me, but haven’t made a new friend in years and feel like it would be far more effort than it’s worth. Lately I’ve been greatly struggling to find anything enjoyable to do throughout the day to the point where I spend hours looking through articles that recommend cheap and fun things to do alone. Are there any specific activities you really enjoy doing by yourself? I’d love to hear any suggestions. Also if there’s a different subreddit that would be more appropriate for this kind of thing feel free to let me know; I’m a first time poster. ",7.601240143369175,7.973224077419356,7.113763440860216,74.73508960573477,63.064516129032256,10.759856630824373,33.351254480286734,10.504223727775694,3.4585555555555563,672,25,119,15,9,210,110,155,0.058,0.695,0.247,0.9881,2,2,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,3,4,16,0,1,6,0,17,1,0,1,0,17,27,6,0,4,2,1,3,2,2,3,0,1,0,1,10,5,0,0,5,0,4,0,1,2,0,3,2,5,9,15,18,19,6,15,0,1,1,1,11,6,0,2,11,77,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824467866944809,0.0,0.10904361242281473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18545311795297512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220913148193086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281106785701743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473520817967825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793815284596085,0.0,0.11744297364959047,0.0,0.0,0.14246269563882022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207266121165106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20683663277831196,0.1948250936525863,0.0,0.0,0.12462664910493665,0.11598409769387433,0.0,0.0,0.210696167374528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006653044081867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368279576457808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685658161523617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199348950359336,0.0749375324808492,0.0,0.1538151806805934,0.0,0.0,0.13943295236818914,0.0,0.1332330251145544,0.0,0.12040459052384116,0.0,0.1145044547566888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306635240854122,0.12902307021816384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169319488702375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140687989975046,0.0,0.0,0.09453188087553792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289002204830203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735295973375676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389974751751243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425485946133244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117735031025975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951011133607286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319971589875287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926858123260676,0.0,0.0,0.29058955350802884,0.0,0.0,0.08780860696436346
mentalhealth,ikutree,2019/02/09,"Self doubt and wanting to quit. (F27) I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember but as soon as I went to art school to pursue drawing as a career, I started comparing myself to my peers and developed some kind of inferiority complex with my art. I used to spend hours doodling happily and little by little it became a source of stress and anxiety for me. 
I gave up on art for a while after that and worked various jobs here and there but I felt trapped and incomplete so when I got out of my last job, i decided to try the art thing again. 

The thing is though is that over the years, I’ve developed so much self doubt that drawing stresses me out to the point where it messes with my head and I can spend a whole day procrastinating to not have to face having to sit à my desk to work. But then at the end of the day I feel guilty and horrible and not having done something that like air to me is just another source of stress. 
From the competitive art school to having been in an emotionally abusive relationship where my skills (or lack of according to ex) where nit picked and my confidence shattered to simply not having the proper support in my life... I’m just stuck, stagnating in this vicious circle going nowhere. I don’t know what to do and I’m even starting to wonder if I should quit. 

Today I tried talking about it with my Mum and she let it slip that she thought I should quit too and go back to a job. Her words hurt me so much and even though I know that art is what I want to do I am beginning to truly question everything as I’m living in difficult financial conditions and finding it difficult to overcome my fear of drawing anyway. What if I was wrong all along... 

Sorry this was a great big nonsensical vent with no structure but I’m afraid and alone with this. I’m not young anymore and I’m still in a beginner flat eating bland rice most days. I’m afraid that I’m starting to think that everyone was right and that I should give up. Ugh! I don’t know! I don’t want to quit but also I know that I can’t keep going on like this. The constant doubting and hating on whatever I draw... 
I feel so inadequate. Like a total waste of space. ... 
",3.556978711601136,4.892298663615558,4.641822342417309,85.36922543512935,72.66132723112128,8.042965120310656,26.285902503293805,8.575989854853784,1.6953575896262398,1704,57,356,30,33,558,213,437,0.205,0.718,0.077,-0.9965,3,2,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,7,24,24,2,9,18,0,28,4,2,2,2,76,65,44,0,9,14,2,3,3,0,3,1,0,0,2,24,28,1,1,15,6,2,4,9,18,0,0,12,3,43,6,64,49,9,53,0,2,0,0,12,24,0,11,27,244,67,10,0.0,0.10260829271808754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969275348653882,0.0,0.06925496984959904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080893728614438,0.06624970152696366,0.0,0.0858851466233857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659099789775946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358516061025783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755188099497245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862312240433574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861467512056655,0.0,0.0974147240360966,0.07670298241174209,0.0,0.0,0.1143985872002482,0.0,0.0,0.08275118350006612,0.07783159864244976,0.0,0.0,0.09745045681679998,0.08757636477480663,0.0,0.08315075869290868,0.0,0.07915195245689713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307578801478148,0.1476524188897718,0.0,0.0692629123103943,0.09547815836690343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550078243887367,0.08887784323578128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528476399032647,0.0,0.09270840450665947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25781506467642634,0.07697514953899062,0.0,0.09018185124205627,0.19037507790703825,0.07059155842083953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855562189976704,0.06116900764950237,0.12692695517324226,0.17359436058933572,0.07647046994508122,0.07663936060913655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273237324467062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186615139403146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701319372999932,0.3684442589801167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297730806715303,0.09810230815737823,0.07395697457640382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752901300474279,0.0,0.0,0.18068793332801245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666985540712203,0.0,0.096942983347841,0.18389038236404232,0.0,0.06915985165555524,0.0,0.29760423839595085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827404599504397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960678577180696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506801411269127,0.05549056938188632,0.17017053142679275,0.06875170069361833,0.0,0.0,0.08208783706872935,0.0,0.0,0.11759309679847643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479565471231875,0.0,0.0,0.15323894212676706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028020494044016,0.0,0.09668717710595952,0.0,0.0,0.0939153363928243,0.12609344917187024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946848467074226,0.0,0.05576835077943497
mentalhealth,kittyjo090,2019/02/09,"Therapy for a Psychonaut I've been thinking about seeing a therapist for a while now,  but I'm concerned about finding one that's not going to judge me. (I'm in Houston,  TX) 

I regularly smoke weed,  occasionally do psychedelics (LSD, shrooms, DMT, etc), and like to roll every now and then. By no means am I a drug addict. I'm a regular contributing member of society, I have a career,  friends,  and a relationship.  My recreational drug use is my way of blowing off steam and exploring my psyche/spirituality. 

I saw a therapist for 8 months when I was in college due to some issues I was trying to work through,  but when I divulged that I smoke weed and like the occasional trip my therapist freaked out.  She started treating me differently,  within a month she had pawned me off on another therapist that was working at my school.  I stopped going to therapy and haven't been back since.  

I wondered if anyone has any tips or tricks on how to find a therapist that fits you and your lifestyle?  I do have issues that I'd like to work on,  but I want to be able to do it in a safe space where I can be completely honest. ",6.625307219662055,6.299205751152077,7.449596774193552,73.86106182795702,65.22119815668205,11.104301075268816,36.055683563748076,10.686352973137794,3.7903766513056834,876,39,170,21,12,294,129,217,0.047,0.8370000000000001,0.116,0.9468,1,0,4,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,3,9,9,1,0,12,0,18,3,0,2,0,26,31,17,0,2,6,0,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,6,8,0,2,6,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,7,2,25,7,29,22,2,31,0,0,2,0,6,14,0,4,15,116,31,6,0.11012567547178773,0.0,0.0,0.12005324142446673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488923569113873,0.11547637276669953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700243283936699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467984678553735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546467550351405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505789181280696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554216419185497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281923855867236,0.0,0.0,0.09278563126641763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013057445727721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508282369095381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517391843560824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298851872876406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140552711835174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199591450368104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758025270027037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462400777456585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823376207316348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114530629066646,0.08775590533174671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109709675759263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794751991267232,0.0,0.0,0.09206999579573978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518766148995477,0.639321985792205,0.0,0.07056408616244006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476810480615192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951132252288445,0.0,0.0,0.0649549766511261,0.08741263526124447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194265974023516,0.24051841000177834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DecafCornet,2019/02/09,"I don’t want to feel this way. My mother left my dad when I was a little girl. He wanted her to feel the pain he felt, but she didn’t love him anymore so he used me to do it. I was three or four years old when they split up. He would tell me that she didn’t love me and that the only reason she was trying to get custody of me was to take me away from him. Him and my now stepmom would encourage me to be mean to her, and I would because I wanted them to love me. I wanted them to be proud. They dressed me up as a slutty girl once when I was 6 and had me tell my mother that I wanted to grow up and be just like her. I would do the most terrible things to her. He would tell me how I should be thankful that he loved me; because he could have been like my mother. This went on for years. The custody battle did not end until I was around 9ish, but the brainwashing took several years to wear off. My father took my chance to have a close relationship with my mother. I hate the things that I did.
 

I never learned to make friends growing up either. Who was I supposed to be for them to like me? It was terrifying for me; it still is.
 

As I grew older and began to have relationships new issues began to show. My emotions are so volatile. When something hurts me, I do not feel a reasonable amount of sadness. I experience it with an unusual amount of depth and intensity. It surges through me and I become irrational. I feel like I can’t breathe. I think about the whys and the hows of ones actions. I ask myself why I wasn’t enough for them to not hurt me. I ask myself what is wrong with me. I will pathetically beg them to love me. Once I feel like they are pulling away I become even more sensitive and I can see myself losing them.


I have been told that I have nothing to offer anyone and that I’m too fucked up for anyone to love me; he said they will want to fuck you, but they will never love you He said that if I killed myself, he doesn’t think anyone would even notice. Sometimes I think it is true. I have tried to be better; I tell myself that I won’t spiral down next time. I tell myself I will take deep breaths. I always seem to fail.


I feel so alone. I moved across the country for a job a little over a year ago. I do not have any friends despite being here for a year, but that’s not unusual for me. I have been spending time with someone who is very sweet and caring. I look forward to time I get to spend with him because I get to feel happy, but I know it is probably only a matter of time before I lose my head. I spend most of my days wasting away inside of my apartment. I don’t want this to be my life. I do not believe in a God. I believe we live and we die. Our time here is so limited. I don’t want this to be all that my life is. I just want to be happy.


“A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.

To him

a touch is a blow,

a sound is a noise,

a misfortune is a tragedy,

a joy is an ecstasy,

a friend is a lover,

a lover is a god,

and failure is death.”

–      Pearl Buck
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mentalhealth,CameronArtorias,2019/02/09,"Anger issues from Asperger's I have Asperger's Syndrome and because of that, I've always had anger issues. Is there any way that I can train myself to not get so angry as a response to adversity? I've been thinking of doing some kind of exposure therapy where I do something that I know will piss me off (like playing a game on hardest difficulty) and just keep reminding myself internally to not get angry, and keep doing this until I have a better grip on my anger.",13.094249084249086,7.389332637362642,12.8378021978022,57.0488644688645,57.79120879120879,15.649816849816851,46.81684981684981,12.45797560212912,5.700030036630036,374,15,65,8,3,128,61,91,0.251,0.7020000000000001,0.047,-0.9697,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,4,0,3,0,10,1,1,0,0,11,16,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,1,9,4,12,13,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,2,48,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21145495008960186,0.0,0.0,0.17281583313988816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491414063421766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22475566688572324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655429034648167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5304874565882854,0.0,0.4517614915347219,0.0,0.26463532627395,0.13966216639624449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415416085243547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956402390869628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29061764785423344,0.0,0.0,0.1628350353341883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20171506959861493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Brandon8x8,2019/02/09,":( im on the edge rn and idk what to, Ive got pills to overdose with and I need help but no one around me cares ive got no friends or family",-4.31731092436975,-3.5610026470588214,-0.8545378151260491,109.84029411764706,119.58823529411764,3.119327731092437,10.739495798319329,5.288315135182226,-1.8084739495798317,106,2,32,1,7,37,26,34,0.205,0.561,0.234,0.5023,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,4,2,5,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30531695897519995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34968185519704403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233225933009954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649785914708329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5486105780427556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298862731186495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704676007348009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543086964588125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23240606754939344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Summer_maria1,2019/02/09,"My brother is homicidal and we were pretty much told that nothing can be done to help him until it’s too late... My brother admitted to my mother yesterday that he’s been hearing a deep voice very clearly. This voice has been telling him to (in his words) ambush my mother, hurt everybody in the family and smash the windows with a shovel. My parents took him to a psych hospital last night, but they discharged him today because the dr “couldn’t justify keeping him since he hasn’t done anything yet.” They did put him on very low doses of klonapin and Prozac. My brother’s discharge papers clearly say that he’s homicidal and has pervasive development disorder. We knew about his autism before this, but this is the first time we’re learning about the voices and wanting to harm people... We live in the U.S. Is there anything else we can do to prevent something from actually happening? We’re really grasping at straws here. ",7.543488372093022,7.912779395348839,7.240093023255812,73.78979069767443,63.1860465116279,10.135813953488373,36.967441860465115,9.888512548439397,3.763223720930233,744,34,125,14,10,235,109,172,0.077,0.8540000000000001,0.069,-0.649,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,4,0,2,1,6,3,0,0,9,0,17,3,0,0,2,23,25,8,0,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,7,10,0,2,4,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,9,5,20,0,17,14,1,18,0,2,0,0,29,7,0,0,9,83,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.16409585031928114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767558692566173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250624382731294,0.0,0.1430882408997317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272116949443865,0.0,0.0,0.34416362876868195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404726332408882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852236747003534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303327792168852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869966053932698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895238612485921,0.0,0.1127113199593382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001431255600714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494646434904604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706945911761256,0.189687120254452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484846940388212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361389612099513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780287162375406,0.0,0.1613500707975782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867171686683776,0.0,0.0,0.11657809181236478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710749499549227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16904307162407678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772494174035707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337242791580214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910025466885634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945458670318685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146975622423006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980530269100636,0.0,0.15939208141668934,0.16068011838010182,0.18682733375100347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27749236966984536,0.09918267558211953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,clockpsyduckcocaine,2019/02/09,"I started lifting weights. I’m fairly younger than most people on reddit, but I still believe that this fits here.  So, like the title says, I started lifting weights.  And I didn’t even force myself to do it, but one day around two weeks ago I just felt like it, and ever since then, I’ve been doing it almost everyday.  I only lift three and five pounds (like I said, I’m young), but in just two weeks, it’s boosted my confidence in myself so much.  Before, I couldn’t hold any hobby for over two days.  Now, as a result of this, I feel invincible, like I can accomplish anything.  I know that lifting weights isn’t exactly something major, but to me it is.  I’ve had depression for a little over a year now, and this has really made me believe in myself a little more.  I only lift by curling up my arms to my chest while holding weights (is there a name for that?) and switching arms every one or four/five times, but my strength has improved drastically.  The moment I flex my biceps, I can see so much more muscle than I ever saw before on my arms.  I just feel so proud of myself, like I am one step closer to being myself again.",5.477086453369637,5.236165619469031,6.122743362831859,82.12943839346495,67.58407079646018,8.369775357385976,29.331518039482642,7.61054688173877,1.7196280462899938,874,27,176,8,13,286,123,226,0.022,0.787,0.191,0.9914,0,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,3,17,8,0,0,7,0,15,9,5,2,3,30,27,18,0,1,9,0,7,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,11,6,4,2,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,8,7,11,30,7,22,18,6,34,0,1,2,0,3,13,0,3,25,127,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737083378433477,0.0,0.10999375238631127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469826621206002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039295394307337,0.09778520688707484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869397574719811,0.24751506601030104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168168481589075,0.0,0.09460921021168868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255148888290501,0.19872191503776832,0.09254902551786902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108171544536052,0.0,0.10546828405063717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036785805832354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683232314478702,0.22018679829299276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393785505507162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149721050256352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22330114390050854,0.16708391973879522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615258973384542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036942503450473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448760862608723,0.08735303529041738,0.0,0.0,0.08753212551382468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086479681551377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456393372984249,0.0,0.0,0.15549750346018285,0.0,0.0877222408306191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405141664578007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219073784491048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762218293333738,0.5350457502415615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073648338872747
mentalhealth,Mybrainiswhat,2019/02/09,"The never ending ‘is this OCD’ loop I expect this is just going to be a brain dump but I am in a cycle of overanalysing everything I do and it’s exhausting. Ever since my teens I’ve felt like my brain does weird things / finds certain things harder to manage than seemingly anyone else’s brains. Over the last 6 months I’ve had some really specific and graphic intrusive thoughts about harming myself but I have zero intention of harming myself, in fact I’m very happy in my life. I am not depressed, I’m much more mentally healthy and aware of how to be mentally healthy than I ever have been, but my brain is doing some weird things (and now I’ve been analysing everything I do, I realise this isn’t a particularly new thing). 

Anyway, after this intrusive thought had been reoccurring for a number of weeks, and realising how much it was impacting on how I functioned (unable to get myself to go to sleep to avoid the intrusive thought etc) I started to wonder if it was a symptom of OCD... and that has just opened a whole can of worms. I now find myself checking everything I do to see if it’s a symptom of OCD. I don’t think I realised the extent to which I was doing this until I cleared out my tabs on my browser and saw how many different OCD related articles I had opened. 
It’s like each time I research, I will conclude that either I need help and I need to do something about it, or I will conclude it’s all in my head... and then I will stop researching only to find myself questioning my decision (that I either do or don’t need help) and I’m back to the researching again. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo with no way out, because as soon as I make a decision, I question it and change my mind. When I do decide I need help, I then have a fear that I will go to get help and I will be laughed out as ridiculous because clearly I am coping, so then I go back to the research to see if I need help... blah blah blah. 

I don’t know, I don’t even know why I’m posting this. It’s just been going on for months now and I’m just tired of going in a loop I guess. I need to get this out there because I feel bloody ridiculous... because I am well and I am functioning pretty well at work but it feels like this is just taking over the rest of my life a bit. It’s like I’m coping but not really living? I don’t know. But there, it’s out there on the internet now. 

Side note: if I eventually get out of my loop of debating whether to get help, I don’t really know where to start. I really do feel like I’d be laughed out of a GP surgery or that I’d just be sent away with a leaflet on looking after well-being. I know how to do that, I went to counselling for many years and I have very good coping mechanisms for things I find difficult. This just feels like something I don’t have control over. Anyway, I don’t really know where to start if I do determine it’s time to get some help. Any thoughts on that would be great (I’m in the UK).",3.3487790697674447,4.169792413398696,4.672135582915337,86.9154240766074,72.57843137254902,8.045964432284544,26.65085879312965,8.356213837460157,1.5713177078583374,2295,76,502,36,43,763,219,612,0.08900000000000001,0.758,0.153,0.9925,1,1,2,0,0,0,62.0,0,0,0,4,36,27,3,2,22,0,58,12,6,10,8,114,116,44,0,13,26,0,6,10,0,6,6,0,0,0,35,27,0,3,30,0,1,8,13,12,2,1,19,10,69,15,76,85,15,71,0,1,4,0,10,30,0,16,38,345,104,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04148968271199237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04266042345168257,0.06251314602232677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057321995602601324,0.09382763604964356,0.0,0.14876735367903374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660838777785652,0.0,0.0,0.2724345401404208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454172021146014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842920671080019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254882492415081,0.0,0.0,0.0637436793254515,0.0,0.0,0.05339127951516864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096699754889509,0.0,0.05403778096778826,0.0,0.06804357384209181,0.04029729746991617,0.11037617900568318,0.0,0.0,0.16449869669616599,0.0,0.0,0.06865452000822067,0.15424538488778702,0.17434554693288354,0.05858028389864747,0.0,0.2230523891276395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19125488581115768,0.0,0.2080442981603848,0.05117326851177387,0.0,0.06726502212577194,0.06721067403416224,0.0,0.0,0.06494751705760655,0.0,0.0,0.06261505452139157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862614734910339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20118083622439376,0.04973224054891762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618797688040772,0.2086488056843784,0.0,0.053873974328846184,0.0,0.05123401050792082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040725424777351714,0.12371148553811265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296980379130695,0.0,0.06160388187199299,0.0,0.09739705577168427,0.0,0.08970044905194083,0.2714340238723569,0.04705556979566363,0.058924960998247136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04640173840553879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058431828702509424,0.062070286246274725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669293028597498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954265651239148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972359948587011,0.05554227098803527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504690641528794,0.0,0.06105522410560056,0.0,0.0,0.09393874736981947,0.0,0.0,0.12955204467707554,0.0,0.0,0.051008063810587284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682791734188145,0.04587280132251624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20266552706000432,0.03909348945442298,0.0,0.19374419228193887,0.07115219907093354,0.0701233562738241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068119745820657,0.0,0.04842782101510058,0.0489394744799855,0.0,0.16456908689932606,0.056557958950453416,0.05505308454343485,0.06811678417925192,0.0,0.0,0.0661640032491708,0.044416852993055034,0.0,0.0,0.04334057939654872,0.0,0.0,0.039289188367890034
mentalhealth,skylor1486,2019/02/09,"False arrest caused PTSD In 2017 my cousin identified as me when he was found nearly overdosing in a car that he fraudulently registered in my name. When he was revived, he said he was me. Then he was taken to the hospital. No one made sure he left the hospital in handcuffs. God knows he's been in and out of the local jail many times. All they had to do was finger print him. 

After he left the hospital, the police showed back up later for him and realized he was gone and then issues a warrant in my name. 

Months later, during a time that I still had trust for cops, I called the police to report that my car had been hit in my parking lot at the apartment I was living in (For insurance purposes).

The police show up and do the report with me and then tell me ""By the way we have a warrant for your arrest for stolen registration and possession of heroine.""

I was confused and terrified. They took me (an innocent man) into custody and treated me like a criminal. 

I had just bought a money order for my rent hours before this. I asked respectfully if I could sign that money order over to them for bond and they said no, though I didn't hear them so I asked again and they said ""I already fucking answered that we can't take your god damn money order. Ask again I dare you!""

I got ahold of a friend to bail me out. I signed the money order to her before I checked my stuff in and released it to her.

I got evicted for non payment of rent and then lived in my car for 3 months  while also having to pay for a court ordered drug and alcohol assessment, regular drug screenings, and had to prove that it wasn't me that day.

Thankfully the hospital takes a picture of the patient and attaches it to the medical record. Also, thankfully I was working during the time of the incident. 

Despite having home run evidence in my favor, I still paid 2500 for a defense attorney. 

The threat of 3-7 years was terrifying and I didn't care if it meant not being able to get a place at the time.

My life is better now. I'm in a nice place with my fiance and don't/daughter to be (due July 31). 

Despite being in a better place, this still haunts me. Driving is terrifying to me because of the threat of encountering a cop.

Even though I logically know that it likely won't happen again, I have to focus on breathing and trying to ground myself if I see a cop in my rear view mirror. It's like seeing a shark in the water. 

I have been seeing a ptsd specialist as this has dramatically effected my life. I want to not fear cops but I just can't.",4.015039447731759,5.072653102564106,5.286720907297831,82.24337524654835,71.22879684418145,8.315779092702169,26.50936883629191,8.680891452615391,1.8349404339250488,1981,63,396,34,36,661,237,507,0.067,0.871,0.062,-0.4676,4,0,3,0,0,0,52.0,2,3,6,4,18,22,5,2,38,0,38,10,2,3,3,55,71,36,0,5,8,1,1,3,1,1,6,4,3,1,18,25,2,1,9,2,10,7,10,7,0,1,34,10,63,15,67,31,2,74,0,0,5,1,39,33,2,5,31,276,81,4,0.09169643826495537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799560583764548,0.0,0.0,0.10118929980176117,0.1466592171029483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571713750053481,0.0,0.0,0.07050890094240668,0.0,0.05589729767074749,0.0,0.15605383040334922,0.0,0.0,0.16219609602667415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363231574492993,0.0,0.09349063005837588,0.09419750104452436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321214454747678,0.0,0.0,0.059136616823828064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21267751338985386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056463266429716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318398617539287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054041161897323,0.07084444074065464,0.08477187959923016,0.04790760436251889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14667603661907305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108685752556219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334855021874527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197900405033252,0.0,0.09030252085008607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570725806603148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078792880277557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992568969500627,0.0,0.12953581226477442,0.13439474391076134,0.0,0.16193926988916424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795703271720184,0.0,0.08676538701342389,0.0,0.0929657960755785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923745145973659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638244437607426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213587969080855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874097841845736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143764586572886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616729331891458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21921056795785807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196866821425343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497048363272812,0.0,0.0,0.08642280788194857,0.0,0.1378886196254024,0.0,0.08014672872769056,0.16884352109871542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18018257005414448,0.0,0.21387572222207385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018781168618856,0.06225586246961457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05408493506146495,0.07278436457684365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675609915619639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05904949985680979
mentalhealth,26LT,2019/02/09,"Is this ever going to get better? Sometimes, the noise in my head gets just a little bit too loud. We'll call them anxiety attacks. Every single day of my life is either riding out these anxiety attacks, or is a constant battle to suppress them or keep the noise at bay, and I am exhausted from it. There was a time in my life where it wasn't like this, a.k.a. birth - late 16/early 17 years old.

I was able to live my day to day life without a care in the world. There was no noise in my head to worry about. I was doing just fine. Then I woke up one day and this demon just came out of nowhere. I'm about to turn 19 now, which means I've been living my life every single day battling this anxiety/noise in my head for about three years. Sometimes when I reflect on myself, I actually, subconsciously, think I'm still 16 years old because that was the last time I truly felt like myself and was able to actually see the rest of the world and who I was as a person. The past three years I've been so stuck in my head that I'm missing what's going on around me. I can't focus on things, I can't remember things...

The only thing that makes me feel the way I used to, like myself again, is drugs. Amphetamine/methylphenidate make me think clearly so I can see the rest of the world again, and (prescribed) benzodiazepines keep the noise at bay without me having to exert so much of my own energy.

When is this going to stop? When am I going to be able to be drug-free, and truly be myself again? I've been miserable like this for years now and I'm not feeling it stopping any time soon or seeing any signs of hope. Every day since late 16 has been this same, constant battle. Granted, I *am* a teenager who is probably going through some phase, but for god's sake, when is it over? It's taking up all of my energy, motivation, my self-awareness has vanished, my entire life revolves around feeding my brain constant gratification and I'm so sick of providing for it the way I have to in order to be even slightly happy.

I just want to know that everything is going to be okay. It's been years, it would be foolish of me to have not tried everything by now (because believe me, I have). I just want this to end. I want me back *without* drugs.

Thank you for reading. Any advice or reassurance is greatly appreciated, you have no idea.",3.9135019706661502,4.884546055437101,4.872556697034308,85.4421063513601,71.38805970149255,7.475893260967887,25.512760870969828,7.686295010490155,1.204827434257285,1816,53,377,21,33,593,204,469,0.095,0.8059999999999999,0.1,0.8051,0,0,4,0,0,0,69.0,1,2,2,2,33,21,5,1,19,1,44,15,5,4,3,59,84,23,0,5,16,0,3,4,0,2,9,1,0,1,28,13,1,5,11,1,0,8,10,8,0,3,17,7,48,13,61,59,11,78,1,2,3,0,10,24,0,6,47,258,76,2,0.1998062569317015,0.0,0.12998805624418014,0.0,0.0,0.06508278726764746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587510636205594,0.0,0.10190082643931786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857995337042887,0.0,0.15153897481840733,0.0,0.051212892758760536,0.0,0.08120002646062502,0.0,0.0,0.07503774323419575,0.0,0.05890413239094919,0.07271222773419239,0.0,0.0,0.0743499542107808,0.06800817600201027,0.0761750429785566,0.06790526511027946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21591958126996807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25771701232345834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23171182375253185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058989679334146325,0.0,0.0,0.0439900494285666,0.06024539950627139,0.1683453890381573,0.0,0.1197153200989284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735203134063816,0.0,0.06394844681990848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959368169845319,0.0,0.22710900070256776,0.0,0.0,0.07342903454841755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708991586286823,0.0,0.0,0.2734118182912615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615089889863132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518564785823642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839798780256812,0.0,0.0,0.03660276447487308,0.0542895890617352,0.15026010717795146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352151137398085,0.1301536593772729,0.066752786810891,0.11762172366067615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891481868194867,0.0,0.0,0.07254919633666633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896019628245935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977537041311205,0.0,0.04513129690783134,0.05065388733710819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357922693017798,0.0,0.05815437222205334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180831302634343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662010911415345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544717973388011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921971777127494,0.0,0.06948050070173915,0.0,0.0,0.05509393349159705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174233142547562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318851162864025,0.11136465168456278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500764796723849,0.0,0.0,0.06131825218849375,0.0,0.0,0.13274239880962374,0.08535185441252327,0.0,0.0,0.11650863521622985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045218444276486414,0.07244394391022257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057522817866229085,0.0,0.0,0.11785090713992866,0.1057312710244379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19260610157925426,0.0,0.0,0.06763765091355281,0.0,0.0473122107342366,0.0,0.0,0.2573373571171161
mentalhealth,Treadingresin,2019/02/09,"Good morning! Congratulations on waking up today. It's been an especially difficult couple weeks for me and last night I was close to a hospital visit or suicide. I made an emergency phone call and eventually calmed down enough to get some sleep. Ended up getting the best night's sleep I've had in two weeks, woke up to my dogs desperate to go outside. I spent my morning taking account of the positive small steps I've been making and sticking with the past three months, then made a plan for the next big step. There is no healing mental illness, there is only long term never ending maintenance. 

With that in mind I want to say good morning! 

And congratulations to those who woke up today. And to those who didn't, those who may have lost the battle to stay alive this week, I carry you in my thoughts with love. 

",5.316101398601397,6.649983955128207,5.522960372960373,80.72506993006994,68.42307692307692,8.236829836829838,27.643356643356643,8.575989854853784,1.9252384615384608,651,21,122,10,11,206,104,156,0.122,0.6970000000000001,0.181,0.9134,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,1,0,3,2,8,1,0,9,0,9,6,3,3,1,19,23,7,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,9,0,0,1,0,2,4,3,3,0,2,12,1,10,5,23,10,4,34,0,1,0,1,9,12,0,3,17,76,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219304338649892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808504013426674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16046556235128906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568952601065604,0.1498478727605985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153741437062204,0.0,0.08242010363307599,0.24327738647653566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821337444548233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834108830604368,0.0,0.0,0.158310102095489,0.0,0.1308892223847033,0.2744491731497905,0.09680420257601244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614941233917156,0.0,0.14643222735694064,0.0,0.11575624279888012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185093674854303,0.0,0.1542339625662565,0.2721891524475162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029678165534927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844118347450982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532837720615305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902561392523177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457557968237234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863199080554238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903949992496063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513232912930177,0.0,0.0,0.2749303298554389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416667260761452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553852070747202,0.0,0.3489869162144694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nateddog21,2019/02/09,"I have been having nightmares these last 2 weeks and I don't know why? They all involve me or someone I know getting murdered. For reference I haven't been getting a ton of sleep these last 2 weeks and I don't know why.

 I think something is wrong with me besides this depression bs. Im always tired and I think I'm an anxious sleeper. 

Anyone else ever have this problem? ",1.262666666666668,3.7761363333333335,2.449333333333332,92.34466666666668,85.66666666666666,4.4,25.666666666666664,5.82211442006289,0.7536666666666672,295,13,58,2,9,94,48,75,0.273,0.727,0.0,-0.965,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,0,9,2,1,0,2,14,17,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,10,0,3,15,2,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,35,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128224099379934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21897293702164808,0.0,0.1355305718437599,0.19860192990710349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669456539678789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192024748148204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17533049895194416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20253654280809272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20936986078721148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195720010653398,0.3159949412269788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854693093173708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19397016643430884,0.0,0.16423168640300387,0.14921994578579348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483971115348585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227792836177356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109577648481558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3498031864772923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21192287888040695,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IowaJL,2019/02/09,"I need to be a better partner. My spouse has some pretty severe anxiety, without disclosing too much the jist is that if someone triggers her she starts feeling that she can't do anything right. Last night she said she considered driving her car into a ditch.

I'm reaching out to you all to see if you might have some advice on things I can say/do to help her when she feels this way. Thanks!",3.849615384615383,5.367272679487179,4.154358974358973,88.43230769230772,72.2051282051282,6.7384615384615385,27.102564102564106,7.1686216300943375,1.2727025641025644,311,11,62,3,6,97,61,78,0.052000000000000005,0.763,0.185,0.8748,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,1,1,13,16,3,0,3,3,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,13,2,8,13,4,11,0,0,1,0,14,4,0,5,4,44,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335119967126053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828061339064549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966462880490259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21134346186909075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24165386857702245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017194324112774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947868380371972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535021089238415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566538978027732,0.17718812673039785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22425070175848655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24311140339802606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407320012193256,0.2273086505877366,0.1900330655251524,0.0,0.0,0.19042266920688505,0.0,0.0,0.2699603091906937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024726774152955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16913932736169116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200051366051433,0.0,0.0,0.15875647973804966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967780305985174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303519217446503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-wildling-,2019/02/09,"I'm suddenly really forgetful and I keep confusing dreams with reality ** If this is the wrong subreddit for this question feel free to direct me to the right one**

I'm 25 and in college. Since this past summer, I feel like my memory's been really deteriorating. I'll forget info that I've been told over and over (like meetings, when my partner works, etc.) Also when and under what circumstance I heard or saw something. ex. I'm talking to someone about something that I know I watched a video on or recently spoke to someone about or learned in a class but I can't remember which one or when. I also have been confusing dreams with reality a lot. I'll be going about my day and then I'll remember something and literally can't remember if it actually happened or if it was a dream. It's just weird, I used to have such a great memory and could accurately recall events and exactly what people said and whatnot. This has really only developed in the past year. I don't really smoke weed, maybe once every few months. I drink wine at dinner maybe 2-3 times a week, if that. I exercise and eat healthily. I've been taking 1 ""Country Life: Sharp Thought"" DHA supplement a day which at least seems to help with concentration in class (it might be a placebo, who knows, but I'm fine with placebo if it helps at all so don't pop that bubble). Any ideas what's going on or ways to not be so forgetful!!?",2.372096103896105,4.770220774545456,4.2025389610389645,82.42552272727275,79.43636363636364,8.001298701298701,24.73051948051948,8.841846274778883,2.1144883116883118,1103,41,215,28,28,372,150,275,0.043,0.8540000000000001,0.104,0.9584,0,0,6,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,1,12,9,0,2,11,0,18,6,0,1,2,54,39,31,0,6,15,1,3,2,1,1,2,3,0,1,19,14,4,1,13,7,1,2,5,4,0,2,11,8,15,6,27,23,5,32,0,0,2,0,12,13,0,17,18,131,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.11288542853799985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501594437064225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866527665441432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235978706570552,0.0,0.0,0.1492059922952556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332078970921157,0.0,0.11836787914379693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901199071585245,0.0,0.0,0.0974640385332558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698094641111527,0.0826406698392046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314853975044553,0.0,0.0,0.12753584093232154,0.0,0.0,0.10229402432039858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507358205509125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058682964596094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282027424137427,0.0,0.0,0.1271476433391632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170707272752675,0.1130292431405607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834563632220698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324289957830752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271649857603123,0.0,0.0,0.09233339274718501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319371733453492,0.1567733510022187,0.08797863348958318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208562381960911,0.08019683512273926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958627874178344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964261726041324,0.0,0.1142184613656098,0.0,0.39312322050160103,0.09878871887291822,0.1100366455118911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530926793579304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569036528033242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19602786055861912,0.2671646443422919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697575809384721,0.09297791358615697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183572571428376,0.06745300347726094,0.0,0.0,0.1105356655002694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990899369007704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182012705106098,0.09279023235762017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421525064608856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647616748088664,0.0,0.07449309492053835
mentalhealth,CaffeineFrog,2019/02/09,"I've lost all hope in getting professional help Some month ago I finally gained the courage to ask my doctor for a letter that would recommend me for professional psychiatric help. I used to go to therapy when I was around 12, but it's been years and certain things have only gotten worse. Yesterday was the day of my first appointment in which I just had to answer basic questions before being redirected to a proper doctor.

I sat in the office for a little while with a young looking lady and she asked me things about my upbringing, parents and family, myself and what was wrong and so on. Of course she also had to ask me if I had ever had dark thoughts, to which the answer was ""Yes"", because I've been suicidal for years. She then asked me how would I plan to take my life, have I ever tried etc.  
With all those questions answered she told me that I couldn't have one-on-one therapy with a doctor since there are simply not enough doctors for that, and my only other options was group therapy with other adolescents or to be put in the psychiatric ward. I immediately told her how the ward is out of the question because I am currently attending college and I couldn't afford to be in a ward for who knows how long. The lady I was with just looked at me in confusion and asked, in a very blunt tone ""Well do you plan to kill yourself or not?""

I honestly was in shock and just went quiet after that. I simply agreed to the group therapy, even though it isn't ideal for me as I've been in group therapy before. She wanted to set up an appointment with the doctor in charge of the group this Monday, but I told her I have other obligations and if she could just set an appointment a date later to which she asked me again if I'm planning to kill myself or not.  
I'm honestly hurt and heavily disappointed. She made it very obvious they don't really care about me or other's who struggle with similar problems, and I know this group therapy will be much worse because of that.

Right now I've got my hopes down and will be looking into some of those mobile apps that offer some kind of help

​

**TLDR:** Went to my first psychiatry appointment and when I declined the offer to be put in a ward (as one of my two only options for treatment) the doctor asked me ""Do you plan to kill yourself or not?"". The doctors don't seem to care and I'm being put into group therapy.",7.201666666666667,6.207760170212769,7.588351063829791,75.53791666666669,64.31914893617022,10.897163120567377,32.56205673758865,10.125756701596842,3.0392482269503542,1880,61,363,36,24,619,196,470,0.136,0.787,0.077,-0.9905,3,0,0,0,0,1,47.0,0,2,1,9,22,22,3,2,25,1,40,8,0,5,6,81,76,37,4,13,18,1,0,0,0,4,8,1,0,0,25,26,0,0,10,0,0,7,9,11,1,4,25,4,52,11,66,37,8,54,0,3,3,0,41,21,0,20,24,270,77,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522530236141716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04713995303752475,0.0,0.06386912904410964,0.07162714585938369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052475392538017016,0.3857528923570964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780076585056064,0.0,0.10031923505190796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202009392238012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047064441279840274,0.0,0.0,0.038015985560819004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4223437896234171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609080840277523,0.06574156842871402,0.038933985820009,0.1066420047518632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055570054335755084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457363723861458,0.0,0.10028070048136044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03079741272864133,0.0,0.0335009800618233,0.0,0.0471453592521214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853294158464478,0.0,0.0,0.1170954883277604,0.0,0.0,0.06310406089438328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19564860785126031,0.06138430558297599,0.0647915395208627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04163606098178424,0.0,0.059080453168429185,0.0,0.05216630471122122,0.14850208553862101,0.0,0.06434769358574095,0.0,0.0,0.05577714581995049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04705099133702862,0.0,0.04333288124400827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988812454968762,0.13449571598098334,0.0,0.0,0.06545374872906429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640438795240343,0.0,0.1777742691801874,0.1981026375313166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03776300443506338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050340478320911035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05366320142619136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876162798620101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061624279555061084,0.0,0.06447853044206947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04432086289529165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4718778074116941,0.0,0.07832363212594637,0.0,0.057915200001174234,0.046797391566056536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897936332067998,0.0,0.0400211932274011,0.0,0.05758272504520509,0.0,0.0,0.05091134482054845,0.0,0.09727501744020793,0.034768510963008266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300049794930264,0.10928905460369998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014420689645468,0.08374861887033203,0.06444937073608405,0.07162714585938369,0.0759199648034499
mentalhealth,r5olzanski,2019/02/09,"Survey Hi, I am currently a student in high school  and i’m doing a research paper on the affects of mental health in one’s daily life. I would love it if you took this survey for me and it’ll be greatly appreciated[Mental Health In Everyday Life](https://goo.gl/forms/oxS3rwtxB2l6twbj2)",5.465294117647054,8.507204549019612,5.509568627450981,73.7290588235294,72.13725490196079,7.217254901960787,27.84705882352941,8.238735603445708,2.3286752941176463,236,9,36,4,5,74,42,51,0.0,0.907,0.093,0.6369,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,1,0,5,8,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,2,6,4,0,8,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,2,24,7,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29571945512476083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5702221239038627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833948662061422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789110708047234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24208389957118495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27030812021417083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817564756602851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714584289905121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29800829343472096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19053963142945649,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peachiiz,2019/02/09,"Job recommendations Bit of a weird request I guess. I’m currently working a bar/restaurant job about 3 nights a week but I’m finding that many aspects of it (though I love the place itself and my colleagues) really aren’t doing my mental health any favours. I’m 20, female and currently taking a break from study to work on said mental health, have been struggling with depression among other things for the better part of the past 10 years. I’m wondering if there’s any jobs you guys have worked that you’ve found were just that bit more bareable? Maybe it was just less physically taxing like being a receptionist, or maybe it felt more fulfilling, say working mornings in a cafe. Idk, just looking for some ideas because I think I need to find something new for my sake and I’m curious as to what all of your experiences might have been.",5.742477272727275,7.0074409750000015,5.570227272727274,81.03386363636366,67.375,8.568181818181818,29.54545454545455,8.841846274778883,2.2576875000000003,676,24,126,11,11,210,111,160,0.07200000000000001,0.809,0.118,0.8575,6,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,5,6,7,0,1,9,0,11,3,0,0,1,22,26,8,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,10,4,0,0,7,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,7,4,9,4,17,17,8,12,0,1,1,1,7,4,0,6,8,73,19,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673293052733188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749979763380656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108810080977323,0.26863389941092497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596560147886908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034699616539715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181281413444166,0.0,0.2248944729908348,0.0,0.0,0.1348960992002513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355314702109926,0.12181909190232952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615503792496968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888595077659147,0.0,0.0,0.36626502126449145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060106267767183086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331425578940788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103942321565197,0.0,0.0,0.12473316000702528,0.2472004424557927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24797070612507005,0.13051544039252574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122522290136888,0.0,0.1188231885929096,0.0,0.11545536730479322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322955457136046,0.1174461035234812,0.0,0.0,0.12854021626453668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881620016506831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702975080732762,0.09783843353984953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471454291872837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861772057336754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250328605211236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817356982004576,0.07883268807485519,0.120876399115484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868728476453616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342084072608842,0.3582693656804842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922731827075831
mentalhealth,dairyqueenmary,2019/02/09,"Tips for combatting lack of motivation? Recently I've been feeling more down than usual. I'm usually really energetic, don't struggle to get work done or get out of bed or any of that stuff, but recently I've found it more difficult to do these things. When it comes to school work, I always show up to class on time and get my work done but I lack the motivation to put my all into it the way I used to. All i want to do is lay in bed and wallow in unhappiness. Sometimes I can snap myself out of it but its been more difficult recently. Depression is not something I usually struggle with, but I think this could be stemming from my anxiety and worries of not being good enough. Any tips from those who have gone through this too would be greatly appreciated!",5.035600000000001,5.902910693333332,6.15066666666667,77.68200000000003,68.73333333333333,10.266666666666666,31.0,10.355215969177356,3.1562,604,24,120,16,10,202,90,150,0.181,0.7090000000000001,0.11,-0.9454,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,5,2,7,0,2,2,0,16,0,0,3,2,29,27,10,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,13,8,0,0,5,1,0,3,3,5,0,0,6,1,11,2,26,16,8,20,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,2,8,89,24,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224870958616792,0.0,0.0,0.1834750546893426,0.0,0.10319914481257828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620554699063344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770773143925276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619031403236625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761017855763633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139389130701327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821016353466934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791234050555502,0.0,0.0,0.21144112427535755,0.0,0.0,0.1131488315300647,0.0,0.14872918767391075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561309218438775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642124349988503,0.0,0.3995963531212954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365273435052205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385363109889584,0.13342086039724718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28205631138755466,0.15442974290734693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962244642625546,0.08643932234235031,0.0,0.0,0.0786620477820209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651143211364676,0.4457242541673445,0.0,0.07956829698837803,0.10707839309003717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946293150251204,0.13699884437280882,0.0,0.09583003117002764,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnonymousNeedzHelp,2019/02/09,"I struggle with binge eating, trichotillomania, and depression please help I was wondering if these 3 disorders are related in some way. In case some of you don’t know, trichotillomania is when you get a release from pulling hair. In case this helps I’ll just tell you a few things about myself.
18 year old Male
6’1 205 lbs (currently losing weight, was at 270 in August)
Struggle with anxiety (never kissed a girl im a loser I guess lol)",2.985809906291834,5.7146475542168735,3.929558232931728,83.31540829986615,79.48192771084337,7.544310575635875,23.680053547523432,8.515128840125781,1.8069555555555559,349,12,66,8,9,112,65,83,0.181,0.7,0.12,-0.6597,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,2,3,6,0,2,4,1,5,4,1,0,1,11,9,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,2,7,1,10,7,3,13,0,3,0,1,8,5,0,5,6,37,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635705495944434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841615408571552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24505449891075345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21878968172716595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171132915684083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355451584320909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28663603595454806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309606465049977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117509043077218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392081830216653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490999088921812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243665233849176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347084791711017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4470589940840337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868867732561429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205149514140547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971915454567266,0.0,0.2603733018516017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318770173306977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769208882028247
mentalhealth,bloodblossoms,2019/02/09,"Online, non-depressed friend tries to relate to my depression. What should I do? Not sure if this belongs in this subreddit, but here we go.


I have an online friend whom reached out to me after I left an extremely toxic online community. She was sweet and VERY innocent and sensitive in terms of mental health issues and the mention of suicide. We talked for about a month or two, and suddenly the topic of my depression came about and she apparently cried because I said that I just didn’t want to live and that her telling me not to do it is not going to help or do anything positive alongside my to the weekly psychology visits. She expressed throughout all of our conversations that she did not have depression. 

The next day, which was yesterday, she messaged me about how she had a really sad day, felt like she didn’t want to exist, and then proceeded to tell me how she sympathised and empathised with my pain. I stared at her messages for several minutes before going off about how she shouldn’t compare one day of sadness to a mental health issue, and that her saying those things is belitting and underestimating the severe issue of depression. She went quiet then apologised many times, which I left all on read as I could not stand to talk to her.

I do not feel sorry for the way I acted as she fetishises self harm (said that bandages as a fashion accessory around the wrists was... cute) and uses google translate to try and communicate in Japanese with me because I am Japanese even though I express that she should just use English. She is obsessed with Japanese culture, frequently asks me about stereotypes she doesn’t know are stereotypes, and thinks we all talk like anime characters.

I understand that she is trying to make me feel less alone in my little world of depression, but her poor way of doing do makes things worse.

Was it right of me to ignore her, and should I continue? 

I’m seeking advice because I am unsure if I should express that I don’t want to communicate with her anymore, continue communicating, or just ignore.

",11.626008771929824,8.484842565789473,10.561578947368421,64.46271929824563,57.55263157894736,13.817543859649124,42.70175438596491,11.855464076750405,4.960364912280701,1645,66,283,35,15,524,190,380,0.183,0.735,0.08199999999999999,-0.9943,1,1,0,0,0,1,36.0,4,0,0,0,15,19,0,1,13,0,31,4,1,7,4,68,53,30,1,11,16,0,3,2,2,5,3,4,0,1,19,24,0,2,6,1,1,7,11,12,0,2,13,9,56,7,50,34,5,41,0,7,1,0,49,14,0,5,19,213,75,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577546743723484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091134660854967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705200843651824,0.0,0.0,0.07223366471386006,0.07814086762453518,0.08206041030325266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605256286182036,0.0,0.0746924576191269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039443903449967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008344479188687,0.0,0.09641981088323838,0.16982829198497626,0.0,0.4536174339591586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05797642065950746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876620399388367,0.0,0.08428047027711566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356338482405755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496584697145393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866074308242242,0.0,0.0,0.05883562084712515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748517084827599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048240392953913205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19074171127095746,0.0,0.0,0.08576761568186422,0.08797643327560006,0.07750942108761695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718474968161595,0.08899292975322587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17691878911592776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006341654340753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335270481433157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059480520900219824,0.0,0.09340178670179043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780157150440153,0.0,0.05623271762144938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496177660377233,0.16699361087376366,0.0698044436835168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157140736698853,0.19832789780673574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982600803054299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601468551660898,0.0,0.08272955426167933,0.0,0.0,0.2116574544193537,0.15344336305829528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663136326979145,0.05624448119255876,0.08624126010037182,0.0,0.05118395132161254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787861287493555,0.0,0.08574617316025912,0.09137980375214663,0.0,0.15162370260793764,0.0,0.07242589234051756,0.1553208931611717,0.1393478917483668,0.0704100705866212,0.0,0.0,0.08137091630530784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945309518312942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hangail,2019/02/09,"I’m so unhappy and I don’t want to be I literally hate my whole life. I hate a majority of my experiences, I hate the way my mind works, I don’t know who I am or what I want to do. I feel like static. I’m directionless. I can very rarely like someone and when I do always get my heart hurt. I feel like I’ll be alone forever. I don’t think I’ll ever have a normal life. I’m very unconfident. I’m an introvert and when I try to go out I just get more anxiety. And honestly it’s getting really hard for me. I wish I could just stop existing. I’m so tired of feeling this way, like there’s no out. I can’t afford therapy or medication. I just want to throw up ",-1.5103061224489809,0.4532018299319773,2.447928571428573,90.60332142857143,95.32653061224492,6.7495238095238115,18.2343537414966,7.908726449838941,0.8278655782312923,507,16,125,14,20,189,80,147,0.215,0.637,0.14800000000000002,-0.9152,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,9,9,3,0,4,0,12,5,1,0,1,25,33,10,0,6,5,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,5,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,0,4,23,5,10,30,3,11,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,8,71,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658407188860031,0.0,0.0,0.11776564350992882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827129989586297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300147993417325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802345074549426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844507957200114,0.0,0.0,0.2146879148684933,0.20222043145114693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22183328571483849,0.0,0.08043567974645915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678452951711558,0.4191995123028219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771564802679376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151252361676182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778207553275565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999359338654864,0.2765807968274422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257821461484554,0.0,0.0,0.1429065874107539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867093501091982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906687782087996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991928010669295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832676948422925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185373906069964,0.0,0.0,0.09068774561185204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16266977402014296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609067781210434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23355681343389176,0.2504370446405602,0.2246824202210919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801499640361547,0.16275437517251284,0.0,0.0,0.10303670307582312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Karma-Kandy,2019/02/09,"I don’t know what’s going on A few days ago I started getting very short bursts of intense fear that literally only last a millisecond (best way I can describe it is the feeling you get when you are jump scared). That happened on and off for a while, and just recently I’ve been having a long period of mild fear (like when you’ve just woken from a nightmare and you’re still unnerved so you can’t get back to sleep) along with the short bursts of intense fear. I don’t think they’re panic attacks, but I don’t know what they are. Does anyone know what this is? Any similar experiences?

I’ve had a history of anxiety and depression if that makes a difference.",4.550994152046783,5.4069873909774495,5.344761904761906,83.06412698412701,69.82706766917292,8.918629908103592,29.063492063492063,9.150863307647796,2.2728369256474523,525,19,107,10,9,171,84,133,0.146,0.825,0.029,-0.9361,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,1,1,7,9,1,5,9,0,12,1,1,1,0,16,25,10,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,3,1,9,2,12,22,2,20,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,13,66,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545723302348948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158786150402993,0.0,0.12552956474850116,0.0,0.0,0.11473660709518176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18667779463709014,0.0,0.12617625120728926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220392808853852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582545636340833,0.0,0.14133178695388654,0.0,0.0,0.17144071478449258,0.0,0.0,0.1435975961884016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051299464364294,0.0,0.5539457452699635,0.08296960362880364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25719314194340426,0.0,0.09325699311391247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510559047165011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705412264261991,0.1337564909613942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016682878319506,0.0,0.0,0.1452158327981717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953236473978528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247989962875,0.0,0.1925260448936784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202058125417965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642842389393636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421002635491344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614482343591448,0.0,0.13104370097213705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514322120107436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539269022632086,0.0,0.13024821187203267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thrownahnah,2019/02/09,"How to explain anxiety to someone who doesn't understand Also posted this in r/Anxiety.Remove if not allowed.

 

Hey everyone. So, I have anxiety. Obvious because of the question. It's something I can live with most of the time but I have my days.

My SO and I (we're currently on a temporary break for me to figure things out, but calling him my ex hurts.),we started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. It's been two years now.

About 6 months into our relationship, I was going through a very hard time and was almost suicidal. I told him about this and his immediate reaction was that I had problems. He also said he was scared of me. I was too hurt to do anything at that point so I let it slide. This behavior of his persisted and I told him I needed a break. Fast forward to now. He feels that his behavior was childish and immature and I wish I could explain exactly how it is for traction.I'm in India and there isn't much awareness about mental issues here so that justifies his reaction a bit. Any suggestions on how to phrase it are welcome.",2.024051573426572,4.447833581730773,3.9818881118881135,83.35402097902099,80.97115384615384,7.627972027972027,27.72377622377623,8.575989854853784,2.4519538461538466,827,38,158,20,22,280,124,208,0.124,0.8390000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.9501,2,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,1,18,4,0,1,6,0,20,0,0,4,2,33,31,21,1,5,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,14,11,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,3,0,1,13,3,27,1,24,16,3,26,0,1,0,0,25,9,0,4,13,121,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15881023415124526,0.0,0.0,0.2536571287515937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785020867517596,0.0,0.24264986478911835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051037781586522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667819256243608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314493753123947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194348258077604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662540236133765,0.0,0.0,0.10228081619367832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154455812346698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019052381194659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013333558141247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420701929979118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16977949560421834,0.0,0.0,0.165532236986347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217438860120095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004251162537076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982671031374862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658921571226778,0.0,0.11658575718286378,0.11759636855339148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14992377406019133,0.0,0.15189041002273682,0.0,0.0,0.15175423579239206,0.0,0.0,0.17766297657781896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17027194621977707,0.0,0.0,0.15086040099380835,0.0,0.15878151272764515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437724092850434,0.1220943719532382,0.0,0.0,0.11225453445626313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734774627908324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536363720307836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495633169254816,0.0,0.0,0.30308911624693397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492451476385855,0.1651032487369277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308576909458455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237671094478414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213014145153856
mentalhealth,tantan2,2019/02/09,"I have had thoughts of Nancy Pelosi tied up in tan pantyhose, high stiletto heels and a business suit with a tight skirt. Is this normal, or should I seek professional help? Also can posting this online draw the attention of the CIA?",6.1101550387596895,7.568741255813954,5.367441860465117,82.10992248062018,66.67441860465118,7.593798449612403,30.6124031007752,7.793537801064563,2.023393798449612,186,7,33,2,3,56,38,43,0.0,0.925,0.075,0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,5,1,1,0,0,8,6,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,5,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,21,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36838131786906575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087637161135169,0.4867015927309385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513388018210015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4411749805040477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3657043265235255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,storytime210,2019/02/09,"Here’s my story........ I would just like to share my story here with everyone hopefully Someway it could just help others, 

I have suffered with anxiety and self confidence all my life I’m scared to get in touch with people I can’t help think people don’t wanna know me I feel like everything I say and everything I do I just a joke to everyone, I tired to fit in but there’s always that thing inside my head that stops me, I’m constantly thinking about life it’s like I got a narrative inside my head that will not shut up, for about 6 years of my life my brain was cooked, I didn’t think I was ever gonna get better I took a lot of substances in my life just to try and fit but what I didn’t know was the effect it has inside with the excessive thinking and anxiety grew paranoia I was become a complete shadow of who I was, I’ve always worked and I had suffered in silence, what was going on inside my head was nightmare I struggled to sleep every night it was honestly torture

One day after a really bad incident my brain was compliantly gone I guess you could have said I developed a case of psychosis I was hearing thing and seeing things that wasn’t there I was paranoid with the people around me I just wanted to end it all it was that bad as I’m typing this now it makes me feel sick,

But in 2016 I got myself together it was hard road I had doctors appointments and I was on proscribed meds for over a year just trying to balance out the thoughts in my head and now I can honestly say I’m a completely different person, I have a wife who I love a good group of friends I go on regular trips away have my own place and a good job I can honestly say I haven’t felt this happy for years, obviously I still have those anxious thoughts in the back of me head I’m sure they’ll always be there but you can’t let them get you down, you’ll be surprised of all the good things you have in your life when stop and look what’s around you, no matter what gets thrown at you when you’re at your lowest you’ll always find away, 

Stay strong guys even if nobody takes anything I just glad I can share a story",2.393370973713438,4.051302289954344,3.655523880044431,89.9387726767864,76.32876712328769,6.926915957052945,22.568431445143773,7.730073105063049,0.8761129705047512,1665,47,359,24,37,543,197,438,0.123,0.6970000000000001,0.181,0.9794,3,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,10,2,4,24,28,1,2,18,0,44,18,8,2,6,62,81,18,0,7,13,1,5,3,1,6,8,5,0,3,27,18,1,2,13,2,0,6,9,7,0,1,27,12,64,21,49,43,5,50,0,2,2,1,30,26,0,4,20,242,91,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491112868853788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451388556942428,0.08455461338832546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159183514821615,0.13325751797680765,0.0,0.0,0.1406404575280205,0.05755191146117224,0.124986474908888,0.0,0.0826614655040055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619515573998054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671056545091997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15694909789577402,0.08088187664330469,0.0,0.11951679304491247,0.0,0.0,0.04826944244015687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819808199807407,0.0,0.07660799582988469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629129149477665,0.0,0.0,0.04943504054362127,0.06770244193508812,0.06306093643553771,0.14303701510570885,0.13453341789018228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568871695464678,0.05346995780338153,0.07186384426271816,0.0,0.06840783744932477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057825791162917126,0.0,0.15641566768091766,0.0,0.08507335032500918,0.18833168195840466,0.11972227846625708,0.0,0.08245124622372935,0.07410925245298071,0.0,0.07967489982044677,0.06704726515272502,0.0,0.384067661263996,0.0,0.08435681924312123,0.0,0.10033531801035027,0.0,0.0,0.07433891099306703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427305113320389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226674756354925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653504935891517,0.2643295207722345,0.10969784380438599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628517430619809,0.0,0.0,0.06363134561380908,0.06755138721539558,0.0,0.04996024923327864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313697168095506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023784883819936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05071754911409633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566626208334544,0.06535259191409655,0.07819808199807407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04794822867421172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119563289835865,0.17856149781404412,0.07493384756194202,0.0,0.059642527538326724,0.0,0.07808064355006346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489999748279709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977581841290299,0.05977206806931245,0.12514912219165494,0.0,0.07824523213110862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054141705471366,0.0,0.056274835674055716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988972794909669,0.19183303670563007,0.0,0.1188386393367824,0.0,0.08602440307663899,0.0,0.0,0.0831565984308203,0.10163096678295427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04414607733828102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448873910641206,0.0,0.0,0.05316841163484801,0.0,0.0,0.14459500327603414
mentalhealth,macabreinterests,2019/02/09,"I'm so done with everything. If the formatting in this is weird, I apologize. I'm currently on mobile. I just really needed to reach out to someone right now. 

A little background: I'm currently 27 years old. Almost four years ago, I had a breakdown. I had such a severe panic attack that I ended up hurting myself. My mom was so angry and fed up with me that she dragged me to the hospital where they spoke with me and looked at my arms before booking me into the psych ward. I was there for four days and in that time, the doctor diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. I was put on antidepressants and anxiety pills, but I didn't react well to them. The antidepressants gave me severe mood swings. There were sharp ups, quickly followed by sharp downs with no inbetween. I soon refused to take the pills and the doctor tried to prescribe another antidepressant, but I refused to take it. 

Instead, i went to another doctor. She made me take this huge test thing full of detailed questions. She then took her time going through everything and listening to what I had to say. She then came back to me with her diagnosis: bipolar 2 disorder. I was put on mood stabilizers and, for a while, things were great. Then the family and I moved from Alabama to Nevada and I was unable to find another doctor due to various circumstances. 

I decided to try to handle it on my own. I did great to start with. I got a job, I was making my own money, I eventually made friends. In November of 2018, I began dating for the first time in my life. My moods were starting to swing a bit more because I started drinking, I was going out, I had a boyfriend. There were so many changes all at once. On New Year's eve, my bf broke up with me. It's been going downhill ever since. 

Wednesday, it was the worst that it's been in an extremely long time. I was on the verge of hurting myself, so I got up with a friend and we went out for a couple of hours after she got off work. It helped, until today. Apparently, I've messed up so much lately and a lot of little things added up to make my ex be completely done with me. We work together on the same shift and he refuses to speak to me anymore or even make eye contact with me. 

I feel like the entire world is crashing down around me. I feel like I have no one to reach out to or anywhere to go. If I had a car and a license, I think that I'd just throw everything in the back seat and leave everything behind. I want to leave so badly. I hate this stupid little town and I hate me and how I'm turning into this toxic horrible person. I don't want to feel or think anymore. I don't want to kill myself, but I do want to just not exist anymore. I'm trying so hard to move on and put up a good facade, but I feel myself breaking apart inside. I'm done with everything, myself especially. ",3.192304964539005,4.753247237588654,4.612893617021276,84.31366666666669,73.9645390070922,7.850212765957448,25.476595744680854,8.515128840125781,1.697399574468086,2198,73,444,40,45,732,262,564,0.145,0.773,0.08199999999999999,-0.9868,5,0,1,0,0,3,66.0,2,0,2,3,26,25,5,1,28,0,32,13,2,7,2,82,81,40,1,7,13,2,7,2,3,0,9,4,0,1,19,40,2,3,9,2,1,16,6,14,1,4,38,13,76,8,90,42,11,101,0,4,2,0,30,45,0,8,41,318,95,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837975778747032,0.0,0.06594796791686637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20717574626539806,0.10076343998652347,0.0,0.19594238052522572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058628199753420714,0.0,0.07492377112283259,0.0,0.10128253962899214,0.05498925785717786,0.04014684806330645,0.0,0.056040897145005715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719006356630857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532480000259374,0.0,0.0,0.06966976479703567,0.0,0.06905158674915503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287139131331212,0.0,0.04247340872520661,0.0,0.05672399590267085,0.0668451872282478,0.0,0.0,0.07547976807452175,0.26963665242544216,0.0,0.2021889262136473,0.0,0.06451644661640814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058331254231291076,0.0,0.0,0.043499045694582135,0.05957295843159156,0.0,0.0,0.2959477340313653,0.0,0.06208571462414076,0.0,0.13320053634705875,0.09409892708490104,0.0,0.0,0.060193652404310315,0.05601937074577168,0.0,0.0,0.1017645259095741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497160521154369,0.055239147166049496,0.1580196396441061,0.14521888338940858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058996453092855276,0.1300436494279721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04414369377386723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485754652499444,0.0,0.14100618626864428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653545907840092,0.0,0.07286288618849476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742914744710654,0.13946969359332434,0.0,0.0,0.04651794264172828,0.06435046163976944,0.19802313669432015,0.0,0.058282870981699625,0.05530471530664128,0.0,0.0,0.05599070578328836,0.0,0.12463417570201585,0.13188356722758973,0.06677037791907038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713290544140294,0.0,0.13999473637737567,0.04841371726041743,0.04883338647503811,0.0,0.06360673623157377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910761983173368,0.07013735880490707,0.04462755491187632,0.0,0.0,0.07727098635828944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750527056657743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986185307134868,0.07377680879313228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04219076523732988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05624296410061015,0.0,0.052373476163817725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880315464578228,0.0,0.054478991535048614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580185698278276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984536594400013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855262309014391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312607679790102,0.08439918262052863,0.0,0.0,0.1536109343792668,0.0,0.062426340447224074,0.0,0.07317143134041611,0.13414118870324432,0.07163534634266946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538065422885358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592148744490345,0.1221033367120831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589182596658424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723251737120392
mentalhealth,LillDillx,2019/02/09,"My Everything I guess Ever since I was born I feel like I have been deprived of everything that made me, me by my family and friends their only concern about me is how I make them look, and they made sure I made them look good. Being the real me couldn't do that so I learned to act like a different person depending on who I was with so I wouldn't be yelled at or have any other punishment. Any time I had a problem, I had a problem it wasn't theirs, until I made a seen and I had one of two types of talking a ""how can I have a problem when everyone does everything for me"" or "" do you have any idea how people will see me now cause of the way your acting when I'm the good one and your the one acting bad,"" with each talking to, my brain seemed to push all this fault on me making me not want to be myself or kill myself before I fully understood life and death. I have told them who I want to be to that resulted in a punishment by not being able to miss church even when I was sick.

 I want to be myself but I have changed myself so many times I no longer feel like I'm ever the same person two days in a row, it has become increasingly hard to stop me changing my personality when I don't want to so most people say I'm too hard to deal with or I'm to crazy, and I don't know if this is all an act still or if my brain is actually fucked up. I want to talk to my family about it but if I try to bring up anything bad its always a ""how dare you complain we do our best for you so you will do as we say,"" and I guess that maybe true, they have given me a tv and multiple game stations for Christmas and we aren't pour but we are lower middle-class so I should be greatfull right? Am I an act or has pretending made me something else?

I'm a white guy so I'm not being oppressed by the government and billions of kids have it worse than me from what my family tells me even though they'll complain every hour. This eats me alive how I feel trapped by my family and now I have been wanting freedom, I feel like there is a part of me breaking free constantly sending me for loops changing how I feel mid day for no reason so I change my clothing with my personality. They say most mental illnessess are caused by childhood trauma so I'm just trying to connect dots. But they say they always did their best for me so was and am I the problem since I'm the common denominator with all my problems am I over reacting should I die what should I do I want to love my family but its hard to be around people who will criticize you for shit you can't change. At the end of the day if he kids have parents that physically or sexually abuse them so I guess I'm lucky. I'm sorry this rant goes on for a while I usually do this when going through something mentally I don't understand and I'm sorry for wasting your time I'll be fine I always am.",2.600498528329656,3.615953402317885,4.218838852097131,88.72204047093453,74.5794701986755,7.4218690213392176,23.687122884473876,7.870641169985416,0.9704869462840318,2221,62,503,31,45,746,242,604,0.18,0.721,0.098,-0.9918,3,1,2,0,1,1,31.0,5,9,13,2,37,33,5,0,25,0,64,8,3,19,7,107,112,55,3,21,20,1,8,4,1,8,2,5,0,7,22,24,1,1,12,3,1,10,13,18,0,6,20,18,102,16,62,73,11,51,1,2,5,2,55,13,2,19,30,358,124,3,0.057872579894520965,0.06856954378071127,0.056475289757038874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446386764386845,0.0,0.0,0.11806601659079967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04762420218981042,0.051518865805572515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664237374529576,0.0,0.0639157176758162,0.049245302973318535,0.0,0.12146740428971604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920987754717392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890216257498627,0.30610757949077744,0.0,0.0,0.06253969925530964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119690790586563,0.0596640886947955,0.0,0.0,0.060062601028493326,0.060464528439034736,0.0,0.0,0.05064468466212906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059218097137504415,0.04834511445461739,0.0,0.0512579282947756,0.0,0.0,0.07644858642206187,0.1046981235646433,0.04876014458503777,0.055299730164141234,0.1560364294911059,0.0,0.272785588984212,0.0,0.14631057635566438,0.12403254792040205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471221166736542,0.05350226756615612,0.0,0.0,0.032890320828183287,0.09708154853913732,0.0,0.0,0.19125951409849112,0.05730295280962541,0.0,0.0,0.1555273927570099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05699283365262992,0.0,0.0,0.06533109842627867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402743511722353,0.0,0.031805256411312134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04087711467501935,0.11309447711815485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719678305940148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05223226285118,0.27380217198318724,0.0772607929350809,0.05867371255245207,0.0581407851074776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664389751523548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764787367200175,0.044014704848110486,0.0,0.0,0.06426065121478276,0.0626703643840255,0.0,0.12036468018446395,0.20212841805771367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768812154821028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587166584011804,0.0,0.059502650796138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049422867019516585,0.0,0.18409039346957926,0.0,0.0,0.04611695338775555,0.05268502319387955,0.0,0.0,0.05940537161040591,0.09574559225497392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910627880248294,0.0,0.12956723018802888,0.0,0.0,0.04621711706082348,0.04838406815440768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05454422165673567,0.0,0.0,0.13954736263455494,0.050583185665025315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685951591122944,0.0,0.10123790020636332,0.0,0.0,0.055299730164141234,0.0,0.0785833657849291,0.0,0.11306620268438698,0.06024739665634597,0.0,0.0,0.06373847057731237,0.0,0.23894322934041304,0.045936560173408116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897710310533761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,youvecaughtmeinacoma,2019/02/09,". They're stigma makes me want to punch them in the fuckin face!
I hate all this, and i'm constantly battling for inform people on mental illnesses, the best that i can of course",3.3779047619047624,5.350543171428576,3.794285714285717,88.63904761904762,74.42857142857143,6.9523809523809526,20.238095238095237,7.793537801064563,0.6770952380952378,141,3,28,2,3,44,32,35,0.228,0.637,0.135,-0.5848,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,2,0,1,3,1,1,1,5,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,5,5,2,3,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4461237401346973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.459389820698425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4197053128726902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837623320554392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4284080336422477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947157805723413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507392186559818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1Winfield,2019/02/09,"Not sure if Social interaction is any longer my thing So... I was on discord and I was in the process of being interviewed for this D&D game. The interviews went okay and I ended up not being selected. When I was told this I explained ""hey, I understand. I don't click well with a lot of people. I'm weird."" on the server I was pinged and was told, ""Hey we might need a 7th."" I was glad for the offer but I didn't want to make them feel forced so I replied ""It's up to you guys. I'm fine. It was your guys' choose."" I was then right after this messaged kicked from the server and blocked by the guy that invited me to the server in the first place. I don't know what I did wrong? Maybe they saw me as a pessimist when I was just trying to tell them that I understood their choice. But was also weird because this one girl of the group who said she liked me and thought I was nice also blocked me. I don't know what I did wrong.  


I feel like this always happens and I think at this point I should give up.",0.6285591766723826,2.6512913584905675,1.9719554030874809,98.08805317324186,83.52830188679245,5.175300171526587,18.59862778730703,6.351523495107088,-0.3005924528301889,776,19,184,7,22,248,118,212,0.139,0.7829999999999999,0.078,-0.8927,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,2,4,1,8,12,0,0,12,1,22,0,0,1,1,33,43,17,0,4,6,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,4,14,8,0,2,10,1,0,1,6,4,1,2,21,5,35,8,22,18,1,18,0,0,2,0,29,11,0,3,8,128,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236933769119212,0.1232637022280806,0.16050878819009562,0.0,0.1007397527815091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030429646581352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312073831305256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980728629956985,0.10583069180412796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600714894672232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210864303051018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44004336893396856,0.13099902726248608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282688756068872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447466848821183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594267142494545,0.0,0.0,0.09888408288083878,0.0,0.14882576258712926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715230727619994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098433581315698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038297260476244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027010860155774,0.0,0.1547739601000533,0.0,0.1400394502748037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265100885690628,0.1409143263357788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15100928408166822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961946622803825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294802119848832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841711846814297,0.09492163365874016,0.0,0.11760599718742963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831067553465945,0.0,0.10057680953212006,0.0,0.0,0.15421815743793202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737635294811008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319495391019084,0.13732654554257526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239339740900101,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bromm18,2019/02/09,"Vent/discussion  Apologies for the bad uninformative title. Mostly curious if others have experienced this or do anything similar.
 Basic info to get an understanding of what I'm talking about. 
 So I'm a late 20's Male with severe sleep Apnea, I had a 129 on the apnea incidents per hour, anything over 30 is considered severe. Also have severe depression, last psychologist I saw suspected dysthymia. Along with anxiety and passive suicidal ideation.
 So what I'm curious about. As unhealthy as it is and can be as not using the cpap machine increases risk of stroke and also leaves you tired throughout the day and feeling on edge with slower thinking. I purposely dont use my cpap just for the 10-15 minutes of bliss I get when I wake up and have trouble thinking and for once actually feel calm and relaxed. I believe it because my blood oxygen levels are so low at the time but when I keep my eyes closed when I wake up I see these lights and patterns on my eye lids that resemble a kaleidoscope  that are quite mesmerizing to look at. Closest I've found to this experience is https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed-eye_hallucination and what I feel seems like a level two or three. 
 I'm well aware that not using my cpap leaves me at a severe disadvantage throughout the rest of the day as I'm always on edge and have trouble thinking but I always look forward to going home and going to sleep just to wake up and feel that bliss and see the strange kaleidoscope effect again. ",5.91209090909091,7.5980190727272765,6.2925,74.43875000000001,67.36363636363636,9.136363636363637,31.931818181818183,9.516144504307137,3.1393090909090917,1195,50,202,25,20,385,152,275,0.135,0.7829999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.8961,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,2,14,10,0,1,15,0,14,10,8,4,0,45,42,30,1,1,9,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,13,18,0,1,13,1,0,4,3,6,1,2,3,14,18,4,34,38,3,30,0,2,7,0,4,17,0,5,12,130,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.10686319552314844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514567906808615,0.1822374658660083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377268077075954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18023013081077136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143390787187193,0.06675455080154799,0.0,0.0,0.12337707414885185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124612303266354,0.0,0.0943183599414998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834158071021412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711901922691157,0.0,0.0,0.22148044988119694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006895314618425,0.0,0.0,0.1144259469585004,0.0,0.1244708898565028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098446142194624,0.0,0.10784249805960802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973349989657966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926295443448233,0.12352885085475375,0.23190455030419446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053499668938658734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839168754508833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662155579550534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164743484798874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17452606362921444,0.0996912093577607,0.0,0.4948477016461641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21917249764625554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978306374848174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801771041288317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105033070703481,0.0,0.0,0.06385450799602257,0.12586237593109129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697258727225606,0.11400081976286527,0.0,0.2837370898662014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846009177064664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,findparadise,2019/02/09,Should I call th ambo? I just want topok 20mg of Ativan and started drinking too (straight gin.) I cut myself pretty bad last night and I’m worried for myself. I’m on the teeteeing of just saying JD but *fck it and taking the rest and I get worse call one ,-1.3727777777777774,0.3884098703703742,0.938222222222226,97.95400000000002,107.70370370370372,2.900740740740741,14.65925925925926,4.935628992294339,-1.01674962962963,199,5,43,1,10,66,40,54,0.17800000000000002,0.762,0.06,-0.743,0,0,1,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,7,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,6,0,4,6,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,24,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293268037535381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5609102311955262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690589229355344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349674695757675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238818017353375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25774663039869433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18611443263805028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794245215108565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184179666746068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944033679873546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650759542253572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199958950157672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789271278965177,0.27989855848192674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rikzarana,2019/02/09,https://youtu.be/bULVwxRoZPY Dr Bessel van der Kolk investigates therapy strategies for sexual trauma.,16.894999999999996,23.36686516666667,10.350000000000003,31.545000000000016,64.0,15.733333333333334,39.333333333333336,11.20814326018867,9.266533333333337,90,4,6,4,2,24,12,12,0.203,0.797,0.0,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ribbquah,2019/02/09,"Drug addicted father on death bed, anxiety taking over Hi all. I don't know if this is the right place to post. Let me know if it's not. I have recently been informed that my father, a decades-long drug addict, is intubated and on a respirator in the ICU. Death bed may be an exaggeration, but he is not young.

I've been estranged from my family for almost four years (I'm 21). I have no desire to see my father or the rest of my family. But I still feel this sense of panic at the thought of him dying – thinking that it would be so weird for him to die without me saying goodbye.

I've had all these intrusive thoughts, worrying that his death will somehow haunt me forever and I'll regret cutting him and my narcissistic, codependent mother off. Help. After years of undoing the emotional/mental damage they wrought on me as a child, I feel like I'm starting to regress. I'll take anything: suggestions, commiserations.",3.7402434456928866,5.7207829494382025,5.146988764044945,79.29707490636704,73.43820224719101,8.566891385767791,28.158801498127346,9.21078282632365,2.5534325093632964,727,29,137,17,15,243,116,178,0.22,0.728,0.052000000000000005,-0.9862,0,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,0,3,6,1,1,9,0,15,4,0,0,2,28,28,10,5,6,8,4,2,1,0,3,4,1,2,1,8,3,0,0,8,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,5,4,19,1,21,17,3,17,0,2,1,0,16,9,0,6,8,90,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351046240759469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390524803382244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757771098736808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264794562900096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190262417906909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564792265514497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897835251157664,0.0,0.15542754562638506,0.10980109903442813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301979505965288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893559799843916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716549777661554,0.0,0.07508854383689621,0.0,0.0,0.13601692361270828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180330201171356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605805521176202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719914842670104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175715071486198,0.0,0.0,0.13125631635797466,0.0,0.12222594712162987,0.0,0.0,0.12247653340181355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878745983057272,0.0,0.12274254619209925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311218882092473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984827701699527,0.0,0.2440363475676712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815833091321107,0.0,0.0,0.15608666678898905,0.0,0.10918187092812674,0.0,0.0,0.19795153424254508
mentalhealth,ranga_tayng,2019/02/09,"If I didn't have constant access to the internet, I suspect would've killed myself by now I feel grateful to have been suffering from mental illness during this time period. My dad had a cousin in the 90s who was around my age and killed himself under similar circumstances. I think about how my mental health makes it impossible to connect with other humans, or to read books, or to enjoy doing anything out in the world. I can distract myself with it. I need the internet to survive.

I'm not certain whether that's actually a good thing or not, I may be better off dead, I may kill myself in time anyway. But for now I'll distract myself. ",5.691774193548388,6.473597370967744,6.442096774193548,76.48314516129034,67.2258064516129,8.780645161290323,30.822580645161292,8.841846274778883,2.5789387096774186,510,19,90,8,8,168,86,124,0.25,0.685,0.066,-0.9764,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,3,2,6,0,11,2,0,2,1,22,16,8,4,2,8,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,6,0,0,4,1,16,4,19,9,0,15,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,6,7,72,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.1904602243738336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061035319549807,0.17374492070829606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261423235149692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21091215651450046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868508978297573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370144887143992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20745926080524846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6477884245111409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302791718379963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39337598776677857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471794966769447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19522533525473854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966394909241916,0.1250586693257042,0.0,0.0,0.22761333049541385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386449575819124,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,moontakane,2019/02/09,"Worrying about my cat is keeping me awake every night So I have this problem where every night, without fail, I struggle to fall asleep because I keep thinking about my cat who is likely out wandering the streets.

I think about how he could get lost or run over or attacked by a dog and so many horrible things that never happen but I can't stop overthinking because the possibility is still there. Right now it's 4 am and I doubt I'll be able to fall asleep until I see him come back. (There's pretty much no way to stop him from doing this, he's used to being an outdoor cat)

I have problems with anxiety (and depression) in general, but this in particular is messing up my life. Any advice?",5.0554906731549085,5.81782869343066,5.764184914841852,80.8486780210868,68.63503649635037,8.716626115166262,30.55068937550689,8.841846274778883,2.3754840227088394,549,21,107,9,9,179,96,137,0.152,0.7609999999999999,0.087,-0.8045,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,12,10,1,2,4,0,12,3,2,2,1,25,22,11,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,4,2,0,0,4,4,9,0,0,1,1,14,1,17,18,1,22,0,3,1,0,5,8,0,3,10,73,21,1,0.15724209575554998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365515612069625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693001717499323,0.0,0.12028977286245328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888558412792072,0.0,0.12090946566069324,0.0,0.19170664420843272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545014232672892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255450185550248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543238666515525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649664949400624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215250510410724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904866597663695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795279990908339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110647424333768,0.07682054538111395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164832228987453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941880497329874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155910328877523,0.0,0.1212747979143989,0.0,0.0,0.2951221099897853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772668369053521,0.0,0.1599717409372345,0.0,0.3009188992583463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342838906190251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530159211440695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557374078827774,0.2629228657732161,0.0,0.16438357940295167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446466144240442,0.20150877160521555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580668454455544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481145659365135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157576911107787,0.0,0.0,0.15968698095272554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Boop012,2019/02/09,"I'm tired of holding a grudge A while back, someone lied to me and caused me unnecessary guilty. I've talked to a counselor in the past about this experience and a group of people I trust have consoled me. But I still latch onto this grudge every now and again and I hate that feeling. How do I move on completely? I'm sick reminding myself about that past event.",2.61827380952381,4.9237234861111165,3.3353174603174587,89.47000000000001,78.0277777777778,6.336507936507938,22.785714285714285,7.447530270364453,0.8614380952380953,289,9,59,4,7,91,50,72,0.209,0.726,0.065,-0.8952,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,7,2,1,0,5,0,2,2,0,2,0,9,6,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,1,9,6,0,12,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,8,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20390324539072555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724078224728485,0.0,0.0,0.2780309950581369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234214167718712,0.0,0.0,0.2593920822822177,0.0,0.0,0.1340804730432333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26180546279693584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818391125413175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5062791813602081,0.18383899121550204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22468195958154116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21176913769876596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131376607672966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047797114777069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mywonderfultowel,2019/02/09,Can I just say... Supportive spouses of those with mental illness deserve a solid gold trophy 🏆 ,3.876470588235293,7.004732235294122,5.077941176470588,73.79573529411766,79.58823529411767,5.752941176470588,32.029411764705884,7.1686216300943375,2.8126705882352945,76,4,10,1,2,25,17,17,0.154,0.629,0.217,0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5881665497408908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4641297739271055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6623017912706187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ducttapingmylife,2019/02/09,so i started therapy and i have a question okay. so i finally went to my first therapy session!! and i was super nervous about it and we kinda just chatted the whole time about random things to get to know each other. i think she found it pretty obvious that i was struggling with anxiety and she started to talk a bit about that. the thing is that i’m also really struggling with depression and weird mood swings along wit my depression. i don’t know how to bring it up in my next session since i didn’t talk about it at all in the first?? any advice? i’m really having a hard time talking to people and spitting things out so,2.398333333333333,4.5741054206349245,3.86373015873016,86.0632142857143,78.12698412698413,7.057142857142857,24.785714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.598219047619048,497,18,97,9,12,164,74,126,0.16699999999999998,0.764,0.069,-0.8963,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,3,10,9,0,3,6,1,7,1,1,1,2,23,18,11,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,12,0,0,5,1,0,2,2,6,0,2,5,1,14,2,18,13,4,15,0,2,0,0,8,5,0,3,8,73,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426928733059596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806535345095227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039830593102232,0.0,0.1129419945425959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161181499991574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25431927439279634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16172925115393635,0.0,0.2511601218019072,0.0,0.16187648438851066,0.0,0.0,0.07713430296138503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225386279263462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622750028637633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15701375458900418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235299143133073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020002999392332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538736544124558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891602421600438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212695329695993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899663025090576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086847515964609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559953797935565,0.0,0.0,0.3376718323558385,0.0,0.2942506318308516,0.09459990671420283,0.0,0.0,0.17217678668638695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686109158652432,0.0,0.16483157474446616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,notyellowstone73,2019/02/09,"disney’s “frozen” and mental health i was watching frozen with the kids i nanny tonight and if you watch it in the perspective that elsa’s “powers” are a mental illness, it really hits home. she isolates herself and her sister doesn’t know why, she tries to hide it as much as possible when out in public, her parents gave her tools to mask it. even the lyrics of “let it go” are so chilling (puns ha). but seriously. those are only a few examples but it was seriously the entire movie. it made me emotional. 

“be the good girl you always have to be”
“conceal don’t feel”",1.3318532818532844,3.933899360360364,2.91655727155727,88.27398648648649,86.92792792792794,5.693951093951094,20.54118404118404,7.1686216300943375,0.7732697554697552,443,14,86,7,14,145,79,111,0.092,0.856,0.052000000000000005,-0.1143,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,7,1,11,2,0,1,0,11,17,10,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,9,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,3,11,2,10,9,2,6,0,0,2,0,14,3,0,1,2,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932838386176102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694663659579092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582233685338328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112586158395793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614424012663873,0.200926797358156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546350392330668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402925142120079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316527889396745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24496052167258225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22667208899788205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4828288199309249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609998807725322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18219185447438746,0.0,0.0,0.265996722117192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700615011878878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346463101147792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264165797092678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21616051277739115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Turanka,2019/02/09,"Strong desire for approval... I don’t know if this is the right sub for this, but I need to vent.

When I was growing up I lived with my dad and saw my mom on the weekends sometimes. My other siblings lived with mom because they didn’t share the same dad with me. My dad worked nights so I was alone all day on the weekends and basically spent my childhood alone, but that’s a whole different issue.

I had traumatic experiences every time my mom dropped me off at my dads. It’s my worst memories as a child even tho I’m sure worse things happened. I would cry hysterically all the way up til I was 14, then I moved in with my mom. 

I work security so I have a lot of time to reflect on my emotions and I discovered I have an insatiable desire for approval from older women. Like 40’s up. An example is my mother in law, whom I spend A LOT of time with because my wife’s family is very close (Puerto Rican). I find myself looking to her for affection instead of my own mother. 

I once had the idea to join the Marine Corps because it was one of my dreams when I was younger. My Mother in law said “I would be so proud of you if you were a marine.” And that sent me over the edge to commit in the enlistment process. Even older women at work inspire me to do better and I often go straight to them for approval of my work or to show off some project I completed. The receptionist at the dentist numbs my dental anxiety; she’s so sweet! I’m also VERY protective of my females in family.

My issue is, this never satisfies me completely. When I visit my own mother I try to be affectionate with her but no matter how much love she gives me I just feel hollow. But when my in law and I watch a movie together on the couch or something I get a warm feeling like everything is ok. I’m not talking about a sexual attraction, whether I have one or not, this is a safety blanket feeling.

Why can’t my mom satisfy this void in me, when my heart ached for her my whole childhood?

If there’s a better sub for this let me know thanks. :)

P.s. I have not talked to a professional. I’m terrified I’ll be diagnosed for other issues.",1.8169732384823871,3.835297432870373,3.7063053297199637,87.25703252032524,79.30092592592592,6.8998193315266505,23.962511291779585,7.933642134475585,1.315559665763324,1649,58,345,29,41,556,207,432,0.095,0.685,0.22,0.9958,1,2,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,2,2,11,19,19,0,0,25,1,28,5,1,2,5,58,49,32,0,8,15,14,4,2,0,2,3,1,1,3,14,13,0,2,9,4,2,5,8,2,0,2,13,9,69,17,55,30,12,49,0,0,3,1,35,23,0,10,21,246,83,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806534880963946,0.0,0.06974449654518852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671798557275438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949337360281532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542662681887183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828831079654319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579978631629688,0.05624540549494997,0.0,0.0,0.08851972972932981,0.0,0.09111940409011136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810329711702803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520721021306388,0.0,0.07348102156152762,0.0,0.07838174898369789,0.0853114059809726,0.16443399761348235,0.0,0.13229309355865745,0.06230524543923621,0.0,0.0,0.07971143567983155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556538365542369,0.08366300675271013,0.04956536520777475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712249071371971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334825753583043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984532735280844,0.0,0.2730842831998839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958603692429035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918157468060874,0.0,0.08521608972175683,0.0,0.15402199837719052,0.0,0.0732372614199609,0.0,0.0,0.14829136842320512,0.0787134670218485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5107161955876472,0.0,0.09269400492020216,0.06411185823223069,0.06466760513031469,0.06726432368314099,0.0,0.0,0.08184383513224365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287938747392374,0.11819606655573035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447973725262484,0.08295988185076637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714110929812442,0.08625624810413213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219756446015943,0.0,0.0,0.14019759853556776,0.0,0.0802943490805672,0.0,0.0,0.057940684474868526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525644435884275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921215005371085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392031982702996,0.0,0.0692259097525397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078696496813565,0.1947412150860872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25396947393774155,0.0,0.08887786986278877,0.12390774455834895,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,girlglitch,2019/02/09,"My school psychologist won't give me a diagnosis TL;DR, my psychologist won't tell me if I am bipolar or not and it is making me slightly mental.

When I started my PhD program last year I was on Effexor and it caused an intense manic episode during the first half of the fall semester. I spent $4k on books and useless shit. I got blackout drunk. I cancelled the classes I was teaching with regularity and nearly lost my assistantship. I don't know how I stayed out of the hospital, but I managed it and my mom was able to get me to realize what was happening one night during our nightly phone calls. So I weaned myself off the Effexor again (such fun) and was pretty much depressive and hypomanic off and on until I went to the counseling and psychological services at my school to get back on the Effexor (I had been on it off and on for three years and that was my first negative episode on it -- and it genuinely helps my nerve pain as well as treating my depression -- so I figured it wouldn't happen again). The doctor I saw refused to write me another script for the Effexor and brought up two words that I have dreaded for most of my life: bipolar disorder.

I grew up with my bipolar aunt constantly in and out of my parents' house or my grammy's house when she wasn't in the hospital my whole life. I knew the name of the big scary thing she had and I grew up fearful of being like my crazy aunt. People compared us to each other all through my childhood. Okay comparisons at first, but they got worse and worse the older I got. I wasn't going to amount to anything, just like her; my multi year mental breakdown that caused me to not finish undergrad until I was 26? Yeah, that sounds like something she would have put the family through.

To say then that I have some hang ups about the thought of being bipolar would be an understatement.

Doc Number One (the one who first mentioned the dreaded words) sent me down the hall to a colleague. She didn't feel comfortable giving me meds unless someone backed up her hunch.

Doc Number Two reads over all of the notes from my spotty history in and out of their offices over the years (I had done my MA there, they are the ones who first prescribed the Effexor), meets with me for half an hour, hands me a new script for Abilify and makes me an appointment for two weeks later. The only time Doc Two mentions bipolar is to ask my family history (mom anxiety, bio-father OCD and depression, bipolar aunt and a buttload of family members with various combos of depression, anxiety, and addiction issues) and to say that I am older than they would usually diagnose bipolar disorder (I was 32 at the time).

I Googled the Abilify and got a bit freaked out that it was classed the was it is, but I figured that the doctors knew best and took it all summer. Things went well; I presented at a conference with my cohort, I went to San Diego Comic Con to present some old research that I had had to cut from my thesis, and I managed to spend time with my stepdad without wanting to kill him (a huge deal as he was the mastermind behind the emotional abuse I have suffered since I was 7 years old). 

But when the fall semester rolled back around I slipped up. I stopped taking my meds. They were making me feel slow and I had a seminar on Roland Barthes to get through. I needed to be on top of things. 

Now that I am done with that class and have moved on to working on writing my prospectus I kept telling myself that I needed to get back on my meds but I never do. I'm doing okay without them but I think I could be doing better.

But the thing that is really bugging me, and the reason why I am writing this post, is that no one will tell me what my diagnosis is. Am I bipolar? If so, is it type 1 or type 2? Is it something else entirely? Am I just depressed and that episode was just mania caused by my medication? (For the record, I don't think it is that last one; I have done a lot of research on mood disorders and I think I am bipolar.)

I was encouraged by a friend of mine to reach out to Doc Two and ask them for a letter to take to the student disability services office as a CYA. The response I got was confusing at best and non-committal at worst.

Then just yesterday I was seeing a doctor on the medical side of the building about my chronic pain (it keeps getting worse and worse since I have been off Effexor) and nearly got sent over to Doc Two after answering their depression questionnaire because they saw some note on my file they wouldn't share with me. (They also wouldn't give me anything stronger than Naproxen for the pain because of my answers, but whatever. I'm not a fan of most painkillers anyway and mostly just want a name or label to slap on my pain.)

It wouldn't matter so much, I don't think, but my anxiety about being like my crazy aunt aside, my dissertation is on the rhetorics of mental disabilities and I feel uncomfortable not knowing what my own stakes in the discourses of mental disabilities are.

Should I make another appointment with Doc Two and make her tell me why she put me on Abilify? Or should I just let it go and move on with my life?",6.846544437081215,6.282380324055666,7.0648199690744455,77.5927251306973,64.84493041749502,10.553243501951256,34.73300935129961,9.994966539143718,3.244635505485606,4050,162,795,78,54,1312,389,1006,0.146,0.779,0.075,-0.9979,1,0,2,0,1,0,96.0,2,0,11,12,31,40,3,4,59,3,83,27,2,10,4,149,143,72,1,16,29,8,4,4,1,12,24,3,0,0,43,55,1,4,18,4,2,18,21,22,2,21,52,10,139,17,140,71,21,128,1,9,3,0,63,56,1,15,56,594,182,25,0.045942226488534806,0.05443402586044358,0.0,0.05008380819982872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03673998192441203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963488604994989,0.10543703254297622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561307573734721,0.04089832189243955,0.08589956004415569,0.0,0.0,0.14130694530113388,0.0,0.05601190969416285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964270645791771,0.0406321658736743,0.0501570123931415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691214989365178,0.0,0.0,0.1415859659173526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049647225559134034,0.0,0.0366811294981018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04736441819328389,0.23741983412862655,0.0466303928095926,0.0,0.0,0.15796131541110606,0.14107144664951302,0.0,0.1410445454943376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03837883505342828,0.05167882114497081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993072713982315,0.051697777498861404,0.06968931036616582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19539217190775213,0.0,0.0,0.03549485022042172,0.0,0.12001458572394375,0.13221590984652032,0.052220052104918466,0.0,0.22046517255085527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125311831455669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030794105994693517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045243838734419464,0.10602232209273353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479517482888615,0.0,0.04083556182080703,0.0508282667024136,0.0,0.05049729237015625,0.07489809283088543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469790392656036,0.09735105972571366,0.08978020492320571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050151367298474164,0.03905843805098581,0.0,0.0,0.1533339646416612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309437008554075,0.09256391963967006,0.1851958342938065,0.0,0.0,0.1076139608075734,0.0,0.09765863212054478,0.06754564529880801,0.06813115761882095,0.03543347731638171,0.04437128862676055,0.0,0.08622733469543213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964172767707634,0.0,0.18678984997678846,0.03494113348054398,0.19554307260644666,0.0,0.05101340561957207,0.0,0.0,0.03185055518136222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043999953371638256,0.04673976086740269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236925389815928,0.0,0.0,0.045954659107490574,0.0,0.029431766706498413,0.04723626049723035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307020497926348,0.0,0.09299197188961916,0.036610006351247115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715903528294633,0.07600776901036971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038926699415575486,0.0707371409699634,0.0,0.0,0.03251814437192696,0.04896830062903554,0.0,0.03840975850114037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908567347749148,0.0,0.16062212374632456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208789543217866,0.11775169467221355,0.0,0.036472996035399295,0.08036784516918981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051043504062501466,0.0,0.0,0.3141521572888729,0.0,0.055262841748558895,0.0,0.05059887180825216,0.0,0.054195831009963134,0.0,0.03685208289672038,0.0,0.0826151581055738,0.12776671269102902,0.08291142709938709,0.0512928551829547,0.0,0.08857333376554423,0.0,0.033446488052929976,0.0,0.1872762149841268,0.09790811865174597,0.0,0.0,0.1479264379177672
mentalhealth,Maplemonster72,2019/02/09,"I'm not to sure what to do....(long story, sorry) Hi I'm new to this subreddit 
So I'm a 21 year old college women studying mechanical engineering. 
Some background: I still with my family but moving out in april (closer to the college(pay for it myself) and to work as I work downtown)
I have anxiety and depression, just found this out this year and as it is I'm not fully diagnosed yet, as the psychological told me that I have some other problems. But I have talked to her in 2 months, I was still in my mother insurance policy cuz I'm a student but she decided to remove me to save a few bucks. It cost 200 for one session, so I'm looking into the school for help.
So I do t get much support from my family as it is, for the most part of my life I was ok with it I guess. My father as what the psychologist would say was abusive. Not in a crazy physical way, but alot of mental ways. Ex: me and him go in a fight about school. He has a really bad temper and out the change saw from the garage and went up stairs to my room and cut my desk in half and told me I have to throw it out by Friday.
Now you maybe thinking oh maybe her mom is good, hmmmm not so much. I had alot of problems, I would get bullied where I'd go, and for some odd reason they would but this massive expectation on me. Most of the thing I did when I was young I didnt want to do. So I have no friends, didnt like the things I'm doing and parent didnt seem to care. One day my mother and father where losing there shit on me because they wanted me to go to this shooting competition. They left the house, and something inside me broke, it was like I was over flowing and I couldn't hold it in any more, I ended up hitting myself. Thinking that I'm worthless and that I could be doing better. I was cutting myself on my arms, I was I think 14 at the time. So I didnt know any good place. 
One day my mother found out and lost her shit. I'm mean really lost her shit, she was yelling at me. Telling me I have nothing to be sad about, that theres nothjng wrong with me. This was awhile ago, so its abit of a hurry but there are things you just cant forget and this was one of them. We were in the kitchen when she was getting pissed. And it was hard for me to get a word in. And the I reached for the gore and grabbed the biggest knife, I told her that I was going to kill myself and that I've had enough. Her words, I'd would never forget. ""Go do it, kill yourself.."" she kept on encouraging it. I was so shocked and said that I ran out the house. I came back later that night, and it was like nothing happened
So why does all this matter, well I tried to kill myself Feb 07 2019. I've been doing self harm for while now, of course I learned to hind it. I'm on medication, I've been going to the gym and changed my diet to help. But nothing is helping. My father and I got into another fight and told him what my mom has said and done to me. At this time I would say my father and were on good terms. Hes changed and etc. So told him some of the things my mom would tell and or do to me. And he was defending her all, said that she never told me that. And implying that I'm lying to him. I was disgusted. I ended up going to school, all red and was still crying/freaking out. Luckily the bus was almost empty. I was dredging all day to go home more then I usually would. 
I was walking home around 2230 at night, there it was. I refer to my depressed thought and paranoid ones as like a radio. They kept on going at me, telling me I was worried to open up to him, ""see you cant trust him"", I've dealt with them before but I'm so worn out, it's a constant fight in my brain. This time I just had it, tonight will be the last. I get home 2300 and no one was up, so I went down stair to my room(moved rooms few years ago) played some music that I like but its was the happy upbeat once obviously.theres a full bath in the basement. I turn on the water, to fill the bath tub up. I put on new under and a tank top. I pulled out my pocket knife(the one I use to cut myself most of the time) had it by the tub, I 9nly wear one peice of jewelry at all times and that's my anklet. One of my friends got me this one really beautiful one, I only wire it once. So it put it on with my other anklet. I went to the bath room and went ham on myself. I cut my arms, legs shoulder. I want to see the blood as I was crying. Then i grabbed my notebook and started writing a note, saying that I tried and how alone I feel and how right it is. And that I'm sorry. I went in the bath tub, started to really cut my wrist, but I noticed I wasnt bleeding enough so I cut more, and cut my legs more. I gotten to the point where on my left wrist I was making a hole where the major gains would be. Its was hard and hurt alot. But I told myself it would all he worth it. I knew all I needed was one more big cut, and then the blood would come gushing out.
But I got super cold, like when your in a hot tub and then jumped in the old. I was freezing. I jumped out took of my wet cloths. Dried myself off, just looking at the mess, and I was disappointed. 
I crawled into bed, just hoping that I dont wake up and that I shouldn't have waited so long to jump in the tub and I should have cutted myself harder. 
So here I am, I'm not too sure where to go or who to talk to. I'm wanting to try again but I also want to talk to someone, but last time I tried to do that I felt like I was just amusing them(exfriend) I know I cant turn to my parents. I just know it. School hasn't called me back yet about my mental health. I dont want to talk to my profs cuz I know that they wouldn't know what to do. I dont have many friends or people that I trust (I just dont trust alot of people, just like my parents)
I dont know what to do, I'm so tried of this. I just want it to be over and done with, I feel like I have nothing, no one to love and no one that loves me back. I'm defeated and tried",0.9570550328471228,2.4135284068589304,2.7469579529005688,95.77149137763058,79.81839438815277,5.67333537467988,19.405474056341163,6.322622252153567,-0.2144499443269124,4538,102,1104,35,112,1508,416,1283,0.184,0.733,0.083,-0.9992,3,1,1,1,4,4,155.0,1,4,7,10,60,73,21,0,54,1,109,26,16,7,11,199,215,105,3,27,32,14,10,9,3,14,5,7,12,2,73,76,3,4,22,8,3,31,28,39,1,15,82,24,186,34,154,111,35,171,0,11,6,2,86,82,4,19,65,761,259,12,0.0,0.04434791172140794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635809859821534,0.0,0.037480300734637456,0.038765739184449484,0.0,0.029932408071510413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050906772816533934,0.0392481604322698,0.028633513306371382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03332024666868641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634307085658352,0.031252121737240686,0.022816714244438263,0.0,0.03184980136281816,0.0,0.0,0.03310340686237511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041783771096110964,0.03821976877989771,0.04280944881323012,0.03816193410886097,0.0,0.11878654426453622,0.03224225435272129,0.0,0.04044806059272725,0.0,0.02988446044747673,0.0,0.04111461748562468,0.07241691514677201,0.0,0.06447605566808398,0.037990218639278435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03275486288398555,0.07660687659351723,0.21933584583993326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630296641053098,0.07734948842741812,0.04174385689147729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705705218505312,0.0,0.03785102345076162,0.026739687342563358,0.03593825029535039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207916795694485,0.08675396276084099,0.0,0.09777700930319233,0.0,0.21272083262531036,0.09418242503173137,0.0898075225502954,0.0,0.041232883577996766,0.0,0.03309883901790936,0.03984446589770955,0.06705907320706468,0.0,0.0,0.039785875267916014,0.0,0.0,0.07526474145198668,0.0,0.11263471076542307,0.037176001609179235,0.0,0.08637738080813173,0.040069121412924166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423079768800595,0.0,0.12342185400414367,0.06102017913357505,0.0,0.0,0.08133465960595634,0.0,0.026437607326528167,0.1645757449221585,0.0,0.0,0.06624797097086882,0.0628628122203683,0.04187410697418389,0.08171757919808258,0.0,0.06756328405338204,0.0,0.02498452400068895,0.037947702160086014,0.07520605397654928,0.04077176704566855,0.0,0.03770634701254609,0.07544039211329516,0.0,0.0,0.13151115570950428,0.029875920150958905,0.03978170204808072,0.05503007112788001,0.027753546754957763,0.05773597301210533,0.07229941052053039,0.0,0.07025021880338575,0.0,0.14365870102157774,0.04261380564714698,0.07855206024281239,0.07972252622112333,0.3550853687804441,0.028466869362443088,0.0,0.0,0.12468330092791274,0.04053256933048245,0.0,0.05189789243522888,0.0,0.03910592694135986,0.0,0.035383035413802694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163007378777721,0.0,0.07525409801858265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591334618910577,0.03848382473034909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03196464235798172,0.10681225731606796,0.08929647261972198,0.0,0.15152286442062812,0.0596530315045142,0.034074468471230406,0.039047197375996316,0.0,0.11526272587058416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031713947333486016,0.0288151063013729,0.0,0.0837986629274091,0.05298567479272839,0.0,0.08967389227436895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247462462189016,0.07055384048293076,0.0,0.0,0.12033785998565374,0.09814526371799323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946615418010572,0.07195005804491153,0.0,0.02971489216212032,0.1309528753923389,0.0,0.0,0.2503588607160633,0.041585621793226966,0.15247329833838633,0.08142523292113413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032327124879080106,0.04122337572290153,0.0,0.15453848249457972,0.059419689939034175,0.0,0.0,0.03365367231802144,0.17348789982583854,0.03377435888286516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0544983354112099,0.03801153818115945,0.0,0.2658888770483811,0.04092335143585931,0.0,0.07231023433973156
mentalhealth,Gentlewaves123,2019/02/09,"I am depressed to the point of not having the energy to eat or shower or go to work I feel a huge emptiness and I feel alone. 
I’m trying to push through the tears but it’s really bad this time ",-0.5902325581395331,1.4066634651162817,2.0337674418604657,95.79902325581396,88.76744186046511,5.300465116279072,15.576744186046513,6.742157984588678,-0.3698706976744188,151,3,36,2,5,52,33,43,0.301,0.662,0.036000000000000004,-0.8749,1,1,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,6,4,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,6,6,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,22,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3771955031263644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040870632275626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31368005317285663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726617331632915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3682952043407707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20698003746501384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442813712785085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23331222126447554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21236464963918306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24726405192670056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26513781856669383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crippleUwU,2019/02/09,"Parents So some background info about me first I’m a 14 year old male and a freshman and I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD for basically as long as I can remember. A couple months ago I began cutting and about 2 weeks ago my mom found out. She took my stuff that I used and I haven’t cut since, but have been hitting myself and trying to dig in my skin with my nails(which are way too short) . She asked when I started and I kept telling her it was a few months ago, but she kept insisting it was in January because she saw picture of me without a hoodie on from the times when I was cutting only on my hips. She took me to my doctor a few days later who told her I probably have depression and possibly social anxiety, but she kept insisting my adhd medicine was the cause since we switched it about a week before. We switched it back and as I expected it hasn’t helped at all. I’m not supposed to see him again for another 2 months or so now until the next appointment. He suggested counseling but my mom kept insisting it was the medicine. Still feeling like crap and fairly sure it’s depression, but idk how to tell her that. When he asked me how long it was going on for and stuff I just kind of went along with what my mom was saying. I honestly believe I have depression, which I’ve found out is very common in people with adhd. Idk how to tell her without her and my dad losing it. When they found out about the cuts they were already disappointed enough. My mom has noticed my mood being worse lately but i don’t think she’s willing to understand i actually have depression. Just this morning my mom asked “what’s wrong with you?” Dont get me wrong I know my mom loves me and I love her too but I don’t feel like my parents care very much about my mental state and care more about my grades, which are beginning to crash because of this",3.61612983531214,4.930078616621984,4.442354461891998,86.94002345844505,72.48525469168901,7.902297970126388,26.726254308693985,8.418075326091056,1.6708951359632331,1456,50,304,24,28,469,180,373,0.14800000000000002,0.765,0.086,-0.9723,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,2,1,2,2,23,23,5,0,12,0,26,7,3,5,2,60,60,34,0,1,13,9,3,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,20,24,0,4,10,0,0,4,8,13,0,1,23,6,60,9,42,34,7,48,0,6,2,2,45,11,1,2,33,207,80,2,0.0,0.0,0.06887647730973129,0.0,0.25447247037900755,0.0,0.1876963110830946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778874393766383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400990570408579,0.053993960390532274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197949980080672,0.0,0.0,0.05427211926976407,0.0,0.08605054866823922,0.0,0.06005888606228655,0.07952015852187072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392323684858094,0.07250571124031556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809608359341809,0.0,0.045518643441835836,0.0,0.24316384501133745,0.0716378160964421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224222760180771,0.0,0.0,0.08271992923669658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292861986043181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137533697224542,0.1008455793588082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06003581627531325,0.0,0.2321639312718738,0.0,0.0,0.03687544669027069,0.0,0.04011257748261135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047308683654245065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349882628417069,0.03878924802277607,0.0,0.07961798307960567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896422506724416,0.0,0.0,0.12492320737177193,0.0,0.07896162965268748,0.0,0.0,0.12740348150783348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112863692324313,0.0,0.0,0.4959788242759621,0.16901026765401894,0.0,0.05188485689783954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506326128187918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035647283597269,0.07406245932805873,0.0,0.0,0.0536797213933295,0.0,0.0,0.15674279155874166,0.0,0.0,0.04893169620013635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956901357995733,0.0,0.0,0.07609781676430698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995405290563336,0.0,0.0,0.05612852038163581,0.0,0.0,0.05624359445114293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676999163398832,0.0,0.0,0.07194802605070323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995730693982995,0.0,0.05636575267264125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615957852519544,0.0,0.0,0.06652137353308353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507164751342292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04522519401893782,0.0,0.0,0.041156111321408166,0.0,0.0,0.0674427811928139,0.15683527144533282,0.047919589555832094,0.0,0.0,0.07347688638027748,0.0,0.06095897075516921,0.0,0.11647276190105425,0.0,0.056023589397812816,0.1132309885574459,0.0,0.0,0.06542891674664733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607434578675767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192765404664754,0.0,0.15433759684557802,0.0,0.04545158776005323
mentalhealth,satanhoe,2019/02/09,"I feel better? The past couple weeks I’ve felt like a normal human being. No self harming, no self hatred just motivation and feeling like I’ve always wished I’d felt. I’m conflicted about how I feel about this. 
I hate to admit it but my anxiety feels like a big part of who I am because I generally lack anything about me. It just felt like that was who I was, a horribly anxious person. Don’t get me wrong I hate feeling physically sick and having to go to the bathroom before going to college and I don’t miss that. I think it’s almost a familiarity of that horrible cloud because I’ve lived with it almost my whole life.
What I feel now feels different, lighter but different. 
Also feeling good for the past few weeks adds to the imposter syndrome. I sometimes think that I’ve been over dramatic this whole time and that everyone can tell and that this good spell has just confirmed that I was fine all along. But now I have that rationale not to think that way. I don’t know what’s triggered this change but I don’t think like that anymore, the imposter syndrome is still there but it’s more of a whisper than a scream. 
I dunno. Maybe this wave of feeling good will be short lived. What if I leave therapy and it starts up again. It takes 8 months to come back again. I don’t know if I could actually cope if I went back to the way I was and not have therapy. I’m so lucky and glad I have the NHS. Honestly those people are amazing.",2.185603829160528,4.346366439862546,3.426100883652431,89.00996134020619,78.7594501718213,6.493912616593027,23.794918998527244,7.5804360353943165,1.079386745213549,1138,39,236,17,28,369,146,291,0.155,0.665,0.18,0.7201,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,17,20,2,0,13,0,23,2,0,4,1,59,55,19,0,7,13,0,12,5,0,1,2,2,0,4,28,12,0,1,21,0,0,4,9,6,0,0,9,14,26,14,21,42,7,24,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,7,19,152,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.08871489985663895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18206616607743825,0.0,0.0,0.07270057433142396,0.07564427797280539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954578654435091,0.10270225422539844,0.09015814315735853,0.0,0.0,0.07481106066383257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980812649210295,0.0,0.1108356017306522,0.0,0.07735758666281634,0.0,0.0,0.08040237475955374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961705672576839,0.0783107862081345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258411795421743,0.10059002007361548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18996288849245976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686825768785883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137007660051151,0.1298920302437911,0.2618631381775024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749664454505994,0.0,0.10333232573317913,0.2287526073871156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795093118253154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992335230445122,0.0,0.0,0.09626040497768452,0.0,0.0,0.06421231569459465,0.22206980378143068,0.0,0.16055012648116795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133116360422697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256337507043996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907235117201619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844650862751783,0.17356747729123145,0.06302544348616475,0.07937897460692518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967760084557453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991216637116603,0.0,0.06434645985659627,0.0,0.07260072377410844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835289345297131,0.0,0.07945921605728799,0.0,0.20792667306935306,0.0,0.0,0.2330054448252263,0.0,0.0,0.05301026470834844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443200151101286,0.14584479640805886,0.0,0.0,0.08427434188895556,0.0,0.2029952022606522,0.1045418411508263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939564988710067,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Moonofmylife1,2019/02/10,"I don’t want to die but nothing makes me happy. I know: I’m depressed. But I can’t afford therapy. My mother was severely depressed when I was a teenager. It was devastating. She would sleep all the time, and spent months away at different recovery places. At the time I was incredibly cruel to her. I was young and thought mental health was a choice. It’s incredibly ironic that only a decade later I find myself in the same situation. I’m doing great in school, I’ve lost a bunch of weight (though couldn’t finish because I’ve gotten depressed and can’t stay on a diet) have a semi fulfilling job. None of it makes me happy. I love to read but don’t anymore. I have dreams but question them all. I am alone. I am trying to replace my food addiction with other addictions and it isn’t working. My dog is nice sometimes. I can’t keep my houseplants Alive. That is a little devastating. I don’t know. 

I know this is a rambling mess. I’m sorry. I have no one. I just subscribed to this sub like 15 minutes ago. Hopefully it’ll help. ",0.8337681159420285,3.3480981739130486,2.9053140096618395,87.888115942029,89.0,5.578743961352657,21.676328502415465,7.0931098945946705,0.9116009661835748,810,29,160,13,27,272,120,207,0.255,0.603,0.142,-0.9815,3,1,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,1,2,3,13,1,0,11,0,25,8,1,2,2,26,41,10,1,4,5,1,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,10,5,3,1,6,2,1,0,10,6,0,1,10,1,26,7,14,28,5,17,0,4,0,1,7,8,0,2,9,103,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807459086083102,0.0,0.0,0.11414248285134758,0.0,0.0,0.13336179949555818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770036885258046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097904053832405,0.0,0.0,0.07849400357712888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33271554944529713,0.0,0.13363783380846936,0.13453211257051498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176889592850207,0.0,0.15570325768385318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196396606603373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741456649014189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687126911186365,0.0,0.0,0.08630852542968577,0.0,0.0,0.12789278824428324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777948282994836,0.1144523281972845,0.0,0.0,0.2122977775395206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290811869187063,0.12905644776503108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056230632445568,0.0,0.11621552085356598,0.0,0.17190339461440915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976492462854136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027790661738692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355357646009547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725455730341666,0.09793165315684917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453211257051498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424636983171266,0.0,0.1287999354446226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031714530005953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454678999287314,0.0,0.0,0.14473735596143267,0.12885808239050053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735196630982698,0.1441419758584658,0.0,0.13724645296791232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725410215527018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651104693534965,0.10222509808729448,0.15016791870733015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742304359991472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594898614222474,0.0,0.0,0.15680118983806818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374251894656176,0.0,0.0,0.09147102533065987,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayaccount7022,2019/02/10,"I pee myself Don't laugh

I've waited a long time to post this

Backstory and info- I'm a teenager. I experienced trauma as a child and suffer from undiagnosed (but all of the therapists I've seen think I have it, along with my brother who has it diagnosed thinks I have it) PTSD. I'm a biological female. I'm not sure if this should go here

I pee myself. I don't mean to and I hate that I do it. The thing is, I'll just be talking and it will just leak out. I stuff my panties with toilet paper and sometimes wear pads not on my period just to catch the pee. It's disgusting. If something scares me I'll pee. Maybe I don't know some basic hygiene things, my mom never taught me a lot of things she should have and I don't know. Maybe I have some bladder issue. Maybe I just don't go to the bathroom enough. I don't know. Please don't make fun of me. It makes me cry sometimes and I really want to get this taken care of before I go to high school (yes I'm in middle school) so someone doesn't somehow notice. I really just want it to stop, more than I want anything in the world. I'm too scared to talk to anyone (my therapist, a doctor, etc) about this. If this isn't the right subreddit please point me to the right one before deleting the post or something!! Please I just want to know what's wrong with me, please",0.9341778006166519,2.940790017985613,2.6713514902363817,93.59419064748205,82.27338129496403,5.6980472764645445,18.56166495375129,6.868970318607317,-0.0006622816032892942,1027,24,233,12,28,339,136,278,0.156,0.7909999999999999,0.053,-0.9807,0,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,0,11,11,2,2,14,1,20,8,6,2,3,50,48,14,0,9,13,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,20,12,0,2,8,0,0,4,12,7,0,1,3,2,33,4,27,41,7,21,0,1,1,0,7,10,0,8,5,147,53,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739641292178314,0.0,0.07931873717903719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403740385087007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827352651017628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587719269949476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783132972046203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865673708894822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995941004960156,0.10749759210734204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035851426414941,0.0,0.16433779004468413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951627459864742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018387338432484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060355521078004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21188829697523145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529994461076577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194524431598108,0.0,0.0,0.1286788701391176,0.0,0.2905027344044156,0.10499429400510624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288792832262838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434001717798819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973785938150382,0.0,0.0,0.06531469534663523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42321832120214997,0.09111738568673483,0.0,0.1846252491829826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126718826253504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349665955749085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462887437489887,0.0,0.0,0.19300149593778945,0.1950986838227484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166885449592579,0.1484076831600629,0.19065949420605435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058430396999293,0.0,0.0,0.11034067905656106,0.0,0.0,0.09084412091529856,0.0,0.0,0.1549453159232317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22382673874375228,0.19210680684710565,0.1235224943703529,0.0,0.0,0.05620435289758493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22740748655754106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538464981216378,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WasteBuy,2019/02/10,"I don't know if my girlfriend really cares about my mental health. I was depressed a few months back and I sought treatment and got better but now I am feeling a bit sucky again. Last time I tried to open up to my girlfriend I just cried in senselessly and she told me afterward that she was sick of my crying over nothing. Since then, I really don't talk about my emotions with her. I don't really care if I do or don't. That statement has been sticking with me ever since. What do I do because I need someone to talk to who won't reject my crazy emotions.",1.8181422924901192,3.8659295652173973,3.057707509881425,91.7610276679842,79.43478260869566,5.920948616600791,22.62845849802372,6.980632752743323,0.6488260869565217,440,14,93,5,11,142,71,115,0.183,0.722,0.095,-0.9257,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,2,0,13,2,0,0,1,16,20,8,0,3,5,0,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,1,22,3,12,14,2,13,0,2,0,0,9,4,0,3,9,67,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279709047540407,0.0,0.10145141479477053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471897936195393,0.1816934968633405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393636932269931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656211028438662,0.0,0.0,0.1433420035382168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744124811105712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054135524823214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414971234181627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331056424153567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690247997746802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146307958843627,0.13565896118545032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771771847981234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283921318115258,0.0,0.0,0.12340236870651125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15968971594771386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319849230842603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27533771812460506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101175091384016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26753295891180906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704402320793168,0.0,0.0,0.15902665760062762,0.0,0.1129919618657407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mijako4652,2019/02/10,"Stuffed Animals So I have something strange going on. I feel like I am going to have a panic attack whenever I get around and/or see stuffed animals.

A little background information: when I was little, I was absolutely obsessed with stuffed animals. They were some of my most prized possessions.

I can’t think of anything that might have caused this aversion to stuffed animals, and I really am just looking for a reason as to why this is happening. Any ideas?",5.4949569707401045,7.91526720481928,5.810189328743548,74.5253012048193,69.72289156626506,9.562134251290876,35.95352839931154,9.957137785484203,4.2002853700516365,370,20,60,10,7,118,58,83,0.162,0.764,0.07400000000000001,-0.7488,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,4,5,1,2,3,0,11,0,0,2,0,13,19,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,3,3,10,2,10,15,2,7,0,0,2,0,2,4,0,3,2,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185957344477355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837664530156385,0.19879470515317865,0.0,0.25404922975583466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22940256915179416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291307536615015,0.15953388082653794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667111548399595,0.0,0.2538263034014589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974737464852392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25209166090726665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090987878013644,0.4476338603632248,0.0,0.0,0.18752553582071685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368983612714024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620080953295037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305915533510147,0.2296015592713484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795046548346402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191621112823988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308908251304728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015040219425096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kakaname,2019/02/10,Empathy? Is it normal to look at things at people consider to be sad or emotionally compromising and then just feeling nothing?,6.335454545454546,9.305102545454547,8.009090909090908,57.23363636363638,69.0,11.672727272727276,38.27272727272727,11.20814326018867,5.938745454545456,104,6,14,4,2,36,20,22,0.139,0.8009999999999999,0.06,-0.4515,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5016108337571202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254754288265019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744685942525605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4369163754258584,0.4278815242556765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091514702963585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962558436056109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AutomaticPath,2019/02/10,"How do I help my sister? My sister has been dating a guy for 2 years. She's 18 now but he is 32. Which means that he started dating her at 16. X_X. Our family has never met him until 2 days ago but she always talked about him over the phone with us. 

I just saw her yesterday for the first time in 6 months. She is severely underweight, and so out of it. She has developed a drug problem. I just think that it's creepy that this guy is 30, and he's started dating my sis at 16. Wtf is up with that? If my dad found out he would knock him out. 

She has gone from being a straight A student, to being skin and bones, college drop-out, with a drug addiction?! I don't know what I should do? Yesterday, she was talking to me and my other sister. We were so happy to see her and she was crying but couldn't say anything but about how much she misses everyone. 

It seemed like he was trying to rush her out of the house... I just love her so much and don't want anything to happen to her. Especially since this weirdo is around her. My older sister said that he was yelling at her in the car when they left. I just... I really want to help her, but I wouldn't know where to start! This is going to drive me crazy. ",0.5886311326468814,2.560270976377957,2.296377952755904,95.9987583282859,83.33070866141732,5.482495457298608,16.855844942459115,6.67199483983844,-0.3414271350696549,924,18,216,10,26,303,131,254,0.117,0.7959999999999999,0.087,-0.7916,0,0,2,0,1,0,36.0,3,0,1,1,15,5,0,0,9,0,26,6,2,2,1,41,46,19,0,8,10,6,1,1,0,3,3,3,0,2,14,15,0,0,6,0,0,5,5,2,0,1,11,6,41,3,32,29,2,39,0,1,2,1,47,15,0,2,20,150,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503724357039768,0.0,0.0,0.122273434001157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114775202875355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22702192142276145,0.1227937830652511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151806859476674,0.08895839474826214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31992784177315603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180536805621976,0.0,0.0,0.13003537214295954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732972337099284,0.0,0.15124155058781766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839316447617918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731599869786873,0.12197783823420474,0.1468372293411664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491344369313886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916156723212602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161388726391228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986969704407624,0.0,0.0,0.06738938480096836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449414507221596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025457547100898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010054320333873,0.0,0.20280013780608164,0.0,0.10638604533159582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319877345012314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836641233568401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312103247013177,0.10969358256745218,0.0,0.0,0.10991847513292556,0.12557328675036958,0.0,0.1558303202882594,0.0,0.11410347744436918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29289900765554866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22173817049652528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883848980966282,0.0,0.0,0.0804325726866518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365063282981008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16592204978699354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271843948953432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979869729428665,0.0,0.0,0.08882734589972266
mentalhealth,Mr_Positivity_,2019/02/10,"Im in a rut -So i dumped my girlfriend because i wasnt happy a few weeks ago, im starting to feel deppressed every night about it now. 

-i strive to have a career in music but its very hard, i have no idea what to do or how to do it, and its very stressful, no matter what i do i always feel like im behind

-im not spending enough time with my family and friends because im so stressed about my music thing taking off and its weighing on me too

Has anyone gone through something similar and can anyone give me advice im just a teenager and i have no clue how to help myself, my brother says i just need to take a breath and step back from all this, and ive tried to take a break but it feels like im just getting more and more behind and i beat myself up over it",1.8935912882298425,3.0283309819277133,3.3936144578313296,93.47543558850792,76.5301204819277,5.589620018535682,22.407784986098246,5.369823440869387,0.04453345690454125,597,16,137,2,13,197,96,166,0.14400000000000002,0.764,0.092,-0.8377,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,12,7,1,2,6,0,10,2,1,2,1,26,21,16,0,1,7,1,4,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,11,10,1,0,4,0,1,2,5,3,0,0,2,5,18,4,20,19,5,16,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,9,95,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017684469742792,0.09087370060583323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853010100539917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336227721330186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882800076312453,0.0,0.12498485055228495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592579356329837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637363067980129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664237839411298,0.0,0.15550457195203865,0.14647401858660508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920312973434411,0.0,0.05356005586206497,0.09834209559497686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912953026912588,0.0918336460847198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871389953767433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572738791895792,0.7751394290515577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016767466196363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601385669082013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620374130498134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152434633120367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892134941390992,0.0,0.0,0.07256091493317654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23486204714340655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312364269144372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810666449399794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059777543576755625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960121500507176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917185264837434,0.0,0.0,0.08223165570566167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,guessitwasntaphase,2019/02/10,"How can I help my friends when I can’t help myself? We could talk all day about everything that’s fucked up with me (21F), but I guess the biggest deal right now is I was raped in November and I’m still dealing with the investigation and I’m fucking sad. I text crisis numbers at least once a week. I’m at the lowest I’ve been since my depression was diagnosed when I was 15, after several suicide attempts. 

But right now my friends really need me, and I am not doing enough. I’m not sure what else I can do. My very best friend (20F) has been depressed for a long time. But it’s gotten way worse. 2 or 3 weeks ago, I woke up to a picture message of at least 200 pills on the counter captioned “would this be enough to kill me.” Problem is I saw this when I woke up at 9. She’d sent it at 3. I tried to call and she didn’t answer. So I drove over and rang the doorbell a bunch but nobody answered. So I broke into her house. It turned out she didn’t take them, she put them back. But if she had, I would have been too late. And I’m so scared. I went to emt school (don’t do it guys, the market is flooded, there are no jobs especially not for new grads) so I am the go to for medical questions. Questions like ‘is it actually dangerous to inject yourself with water?’ Wait what? So I got on google because that’s so far outside of my scope of knowledge and found that an occasional injection of 0.5ml of sterile water to practice is fine. But 10ml frequently as a form of self harm? No clue.  Is it better than when she asks why a cut won’t stop bleeding, and it’s deep enough that it opens half an inch? When are you allowed to call 911 for self harm? I mean the one was bleeding for 2 hours, but is that enough to bipass her consent to take her to the hospital? I’ve talked to her about therapy and getting help. But I mean clearly I can’t make her. There’s also the drug addiction... Ironically her drug addiction is the reason I’m always awake in the middle of the night to talk. Her addiction to ambien scares the shit out of me, so I refused a prescription for it. But when you take 20+ of something every day, does that make your depression worse? Am I supposed to have an intervention like on TV? How can I help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?

Last night a different friend (22F) texted me “tell my family and boyfriend I loved them” and I’m like wait what no where are you?? She wouldn’t tell me. She said something about not knowing that she could swim. So she’s out in the cold (20° F I think?) and wet. And whatever she was planning to do, she wasn’t going to live to see the end of it. I called the police. It took them forever to find her... the police can’t track your phone like they do on tv. They didn’t find her for an hour in a half. If she hadn’t changed her mind, she would have been dead before they arrived. 

My last friend (21F) is not suicidal but she’s depressed enough I worry about it. She’s the care taker. Her older sister (25F) is homeless, her dad keeps asking for money, and she just lost her job. I had no idea until I was taking care of her while she was drunk. It’s really bad. But she isn’t getting help either. Nobody is.

My therapist tells me that I’m not responsible for their safety. But I have to be. If I’m the only one who knows and something happens then it is absolutely my fault. Right now I’m the only one who can keep them safe and I’m failing so hard. I need help helping them. When am I allowed to call 911? Obviously for suicide, but how bad does self harm have to be before it’s emergent? How can I keep my friends safe?",1.2686043997017151,3.2175353449664463,2.811322706935126,93.3363278337062,80.78523489932886,5.9643922445935855,21.353933631618194,7.054809383877858,0.4136461595824015,2772,82,627,34,72,907,313,745,0.192,0.677,0.131,-0.9962,6,0,5,0,0,3,98.0,1,5,10,6,35,43,7,2,34,0,71,17,1,9,4,98,128,58,5,13,25,2,2,4,6,5,10,2,0,4,31,25,2,9,15,4,1,8,23,24,0,5,30,7,101,19,76,86,12,75,0,8,2,4,94,31,3,7,39,405,132,6,0.0,0.0,0.053997186862824606,0.1809639510836156,0.0,0.0,0.0490495119131418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044249911836143456,0.046041625695363415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345807917210156,0.0,0.0,0.04254778815810474,0.09240176254857137,0.033730583630117016,0.0,0.09416889539500843,0.0,0.05806874258982075,0.0489376875938792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260053911957671,0.0,0.11283169839055332,0.0,0.058535151359113975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835805905841593,0.0,0.0,0.07137062729321181,0.1140921263126932,0.1906334947752184,0.05616199743795144,0.0,0.05781138006978007,0.0,0.0,0.09684485066210646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833780791868227,0.0,0.04622375892786376,0.0,0.04900876018948263,0.2858697532209057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046620577777353935,0.0,0.049729880548268615,0.0,0.05216318317350577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114702022057392,0.0,0.0,0.06066995907916519,0.2565015948220417,0.10230923831584242,0.057818589549246575,0.0,0.06289422532856727,0.0,0.0442549866082604,0.0,0.06095571925644457,0.054788532541655784,0.0489309348222877,0.0,0.04956764704892596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29670923151600914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898404246609017,0.06384704291524693,0.0,0.0624644077941659,0.0,0.0,0.10981925587662393,0.1475479776283816,0.06121794847349485,0.0,0.06081932048689035,0.09020782893362862,0.06241821994841287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813195718648476,0.0,0.04886019819930502,0.04896810954502686,0.0,0.0,0.06040268571675528,0.0,0.049940341511781526,0.0,0.07387063424080258,0.0,0.0,0.12054807570873625,0.0,0.05574234211233649,0.0,0.0,0.05587072265616188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820576810334255,0.0,0.05344111529041399,0.0,0.10385285343875594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589280145488363,0.1124855533457319,0.08416673035659017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529463657309689,0.0,0.05562511366735397,0.12397161615456335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089568441399495,0.056891709058863385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176266100963664,0.05263451081699061,0.0,0.11079630166891014,0.05600011679443186,0.044093368273731455,0.0,0.1731736755567833,0.06251072617569044,0.056798698427267924,0.045772165654442434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688361090528323,0.12779452060842944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418913682303476,0.04626100336194499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18157650380651388,0.0,0.0521508529085324,0.0,0.1664146142918123,0.1334241054593838,0.14509087462260772,0.0,0.06327829619170275,0.06424606904449767,0.0,0.03545525769801613,0.0,0.0,0.03226521332639795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147718197631277,0.037567586681302924,0.06018659389832075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04565565585271249,0.03263693418536947,0.04392089060879499,0.08876985418844753,0.0,0.0,0.0512943980557169,0.04992957463758236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619351471001214,0.11277844419063195,0.11792127789545084,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Makaroonsss,2019/02/10,"Feeling Depressed and Anxious and I don't know why. Hello all, so it's been a few months now (4 to be exact), that I've been feeling helpless, down, sad, and everything negative. The past 2 months, I've been crying every night, not knowing the reason why. Later tonight, I start a new job again (quit my last one, because I couldn't do it anymore) , but I get this feeling of hopelessness, that I won't have a life anymore, won't get to see my GF, friends, family, and go to church. My job is a restaurant receptionist and requires me to work 8,8,8,13,13 hours per week. I don't know why but this past 2 weeks I've been crying the hardest, because I accepted the job and in my mind I feel I won't have a life anymore. It's so hard, because it's so tiring, to cry every night, I don't even wanna get out of bed, I feel crippled and immobilized. Any sort of advice, help, tips, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all. ",5.028900293255133,4.925615252688175,5.91314760508309,82.78517595307919,68.51612903225806,8.484066471163247,31.96285434995113,8.00094639256281,2.1174150537634406,711,28,149,8,11,235,101,186,0.166,0.715,0.119,-0.8328,3,0,0,0,0,3,40.0,0,1,0,3,6,8,0,0,9,0,18,3,0,1,3,30,33,12,0,3,3,0,6,0,2,4,3,0,1,0,8,8,0,1,10,0,0,1,9,4,0,1,4,7,17,4,12,22,3,20,1,4,1,0,5,3,0,1,16,85,25,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448579426130268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271261216986277,0.0,0.0,0.1207947245619772,0.3181223669875153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955413162596996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523560112347386,0.0,0.0,0.0920942768643388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706229011863875,0.0,0.18017771336419766,0.0,0.09609722348201123,0.0,0.1007992984437602,0.0,0.27032226127617665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826099279056892,0.0,0.16759157251350176,0.0,0.06076789608674948,0.0,0.0,0.11788510171023245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578372607017918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166951995414167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529950775441284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183194527592183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628941900976225,0.08715808082876804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510484661961215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796368826945804,0.0,0.17069290194320916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326875396787252,0.0,0.20068358813896547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245509298894974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041438697761962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372781400305655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993662601696116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520531757486635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756820086719544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844210046324313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289446617806718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153744232570434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894493274110566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784261518481801,0.0,0.0,0.07595639529842667,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wiseowl716,2019/02/10,Thinking problems? 27 yr old male with a previous head injury/traumatic brain injury. I have times that im talking to someone about something and mid sentence or when they ask a question about it I forgotten what was being said. Does anyone else have this problem? ,3.5687499999999983,6.7151217083333385,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,81.91666666666666,5.7,30.91666666666667,7.1686216300943375,2.396141666666667,214,11,33,3,6,66,42,48,0.221,0.752,0.026,-0.862,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,4,2,2,0,0,7,7,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,4,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,3,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972124092487506,0.2487037834737845,0.0,0.0,0.22691815427839274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27096500973436904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21241313331417208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027683124151541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491092186645921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621881698104112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547024743098104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645163213376196,0.0,0.0,0.2719111986789021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308901565061792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20566286437303255,0.1868640707773528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19509577849868096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553046607244808,0.0,0.0,0.14153679855674628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ventingmythoughtsawa,2019/02/10,"How to get help for my husband? Hi all,
I live in Canada and need some help. My husband has been over time displaying huge triggers of BiPolar Disorder and Personality Disorder. I have stuck by him on the great days and the not so great days. We’re in a period right now where it hasn’t been great. It’s actually affecting our marriage and he’s in what I call his “mood” of “I don’t care”. We have a small baby at home a year and a half old and it’s becoming a lot to deal with his mental health and it’s starting to affect our son. How can I get help for my husband who doesn’t think he has anything going on, and is refusing to seek help? I’m desperate. I have no idea where to start or where to go. It’s ruining my marriage and I’m so strained. Been thinking of starting going to marriage therapy but his thoughts are “all they’re going to tell us to do is divorce”. ",2.14590163934426,3.5905054480874337,3.9986010928961737,88.12413114754101,76.48633879781421,7.50295081967213,26.40765027322405,8.238735603445708,1.5782279781420772,679,26,151,12,15,230,101,183,0.08,0.812,0.109,0.7281,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,4,0,0,0,8,7,0,1,7,0,16,2,0,5,2,29,33,15,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,7,11,0,1,4,0,0,4,5,2,0,1,5,0,18,4,23,28,4,27,0,1,0,0,29,13,0,3,10,97,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.12877531545884752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859300920548888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574102659572485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347473694350561,0.0,0.13454346789318072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020840488463942,0.13604643510977887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024784520627002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788879645720806,0.0,0.2999868762719621,0.0,0.0,0.4364638118773829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026882433267532,0.0,0.0,0.3538038470882999,0.0,0.1323680690842018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489683867990865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652435621288182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218888483140352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298607907542245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784772480597424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138471317584085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522362660979404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269433620791082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802089281535662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534010217477855,0.0,0.15090939041854098,0.0,0.0,0.16911110596689788,0.0,0.10476263147876627,0.07694776831632448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587333466917444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849788313880477
mentalhealth,goddamnblessing,2019/02/10,"I’m gonna claw my brain out For the past couple years there’s been  weird dealing with depression and hypomania, which I didn’t realize till about a month ago.

I just started adjusting my meds to try and ease the mood swings. And I know it might help with the issue but damn. Why does it always have to take so long.

The stupid lack of motivation is destroying me. Therapy and the new drugs r helping but. I want to do so many things and I have so many things I can do. I want to read, play games, draw and literally do anything other than lay here. 

I know that if I just picked up a book and started it’d be so easy to get going. But none of it sounds interesting. Ive dealt with this for years but now that I’m aware of the reasoning it’s unbearable. It’s so dumb and boring.

So I guess if anyone had any advise?? ",0.8378947368421059,2.953664982456143,2.606228070175437,93.29776315789472,83.3859649122807,6.3730994152046785,18.85672514619883,7.594959193182576,0.3606514619883043,636,16,147,11,18,210,108,171,0.16,0.71,0.13,-0.8591,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,12,10,4,0,8,0,14,2,1,3,0,32,27,21,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,13,12,0,0,6,4,0,1,2,7,0,0,3,1,14,2,18,20,2,14,0,1,0,0,5,2,2,4,11,92,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454206588477379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650295959921244,0.0,0.0,0.11155980353830652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470775740001148,0.0,0.13499938746246776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18313434683322705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815184943814128,0.0,0.0,0.1691286164795237,0.141296250091897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435614896049658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902462211617732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570949085882355,0.0,0.09323354431329037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071985854837688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199188648893748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122585170949034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031546718624225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451793193207717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326424334904524,0.0,0.0,0.1822228583610976,0.0,0.0,0.1740314031080533,0.0,0.0,0.13094335382755215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844076509572208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660453754968612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409465611761914,0.0,0.0,0.16867099164950286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322312393097341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334538055680225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18760577147545968,0.0,0.21797540887210806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137935921133699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193522189595329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480298448767877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112859799833764
mentalhealth,just-pls-tell-me,2019/02/10,"I (20F) just had a panic attack about making a phone call. Am I the only one? My (20F) husband (22M)  told me I needed to make a phone call to an old employer for tax related reasons. Calling people on the phone has always been a struggle of mine mentally. Even as a child I would force myself to stand in a “superhero” pose to gain enough self confidence to call someone. Now, I just crumble in tears at the mere thought of it. My husband doesn’t understand quite how I am feeling. I have almost always been able to get around phone calls because of emails and texts. I’m finally calm enough to write this, but I still need to make this phone call tomorrow and I honestly don’t know if I can do it.",4.541843971631207,4.954327723404255,5.416453900709222,84.13333333333334,69.63829787234043,8.819858156028369,29.141843971631204,8.841846274778883,2.106665248226951,543,19,113,9,9,178,93,141,0.056,0.857,0.087,0.6227,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,8,5,1,2,10,0,12,0,0,5,0,21,24,6,0,4,4,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,5,1,15,2,19,18,2,11,0,0,0,0,18,5,0,2,5,73,19,2,0.1181948341666222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835505320944995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19669514083476386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521846116831923,0.0,0.13446368702480652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720504738631849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7241408439528239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24425371832970594,0.0,0.07806657324502435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597628595120498,0.0,0.0,0.12947666351168285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175192254018156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495678979602283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23668790881244706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911259311827377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752799437864893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402559594670112,0.0,0.08009187853765411,0.08989249744692591,0.0,0.13867617139485908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194141589362089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571475502591525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152397484511998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330298937129493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001460994326448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439054724395596,0.0,0.0,0.12356290352077598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383349583720564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129402291745496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304499073216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839622190165077,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,antibiotechnica,2019/02/10,"Zoning out while reading articles, books etc Sometimes I'm reading articles on wikipedia or other sites that easily have over 10 000 words on a page and depending on how they're structured, like when it's a wall of text, I tend to keep rereading the same sentence over and over while the information isn't coming to me. Like my brain is not accepting it. Is there some name for what I'm describing?   
I don't think it has a lot to do with fatigue, I have enough sleep. It may happen that sometimes words appear I haven't been familiar with yet, but that's a different thing.   


It's looking at the text repeating it, sometimes over and over, and not getting it.   
I understand it suddenly but can keep looking at it.   


Does anyone recognize this problem I just described and how to resolve it?",6.443194444444442,6.701702953947373,6.522982456140351,78.37698830409359,65.51315789473685,10.176608187134505,35.309941520467845,9.994966539143718,3.45441432748538,627,28,118,13,9,200,91,152,0.051,0.878,0.071,0.2097,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,7,0,12,3,2,3,0,34,25,13,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,17,9,0,2,5,3,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,2,8,4,19,23,6,21,0,1,2,0,2,13,0,6,8,86,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357207528861686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972864940240296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522352136681947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464276965510207,0.0,0.0,0.15465554905887335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18260689480727485,0.1970980348857718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233289794360937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627966875198754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141672938607071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17268039648110953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968134158815001,0.0,0.0,0.15024752002618308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691044842717465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535509308147994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17685527098637074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5243644658031634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740999147198253,0.11323993601770428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397970628934335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NAGOL03,2019/02/10,Did weed like a year ago and I still feel different I did marijuana a year ago and i still feel spacey all the time. Doctors didn’t find anything wrong with my body so it’s just my mind.,-1.2636071428571434,0.6298744250000041,0.5035714285714299,101.63,104.75,4.285714285714287,15.714285714285715,6.18269132825596,-0.5980714285714286,147,4,36,2,7,47,29,40,0.085,0.847,0.068,-0.1531,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,3,2,1,0,1,9,5,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,5,1,1,2,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,20,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4424629130207718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20537736077514865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27721940392885563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607507254783958,0.0,0.25544859898968264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523832727372925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281052525528557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192878914904788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25199764212534004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3986187311550974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552805645564093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728689590176123,0.0,0.32143373205927217
mentalhealth,w8ingfortheend,2019/02/10,"I Have An Incurable STD I posted this in another sub.


I don't know why I didn't just write what it is but like I said in another comment if I don't kill me, it will.


I tried to fight being suicidal. Even about a month or a month and a half ago, when I felt good about killing myself I still tried to hang on.


But a few days ago I got tested and I tested positive. The woman I was living with kicked me out because she said she didn't want to put her family at risk.


I'm homeless, I've been raped several times. I look back on it and there is no period in my life where someone wasn't raping me. I've been beaten. I've been abused. I'm in so much pain. I have no one.


I just want to know if there is someone who really cares. I really wish I could find the energy to just end this.

Somebody help me. I don't know what kind of help I need or if I just want to communicate with someone before I jump off a bridge or something.",0.4551101892662679,2.0818336502463097,2.876349494425721,93.47032927145453,81.95566502463055,6.63821623023075,18.565983925330567,7.669130373188453,0.29075960591133004,713,16,173,12,19,246,111,203,0.205,0.618,0.177,-0.6723,0,0,1,0,2,3,19.0,0,0,0,1,14,12,6,1,8,0,18,5,0,0,0,30,34,13,3,9,12,0,1,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,8,6,0,0,5,0,0,3,8,8,0,2,11,4,30,4,20,20,2,25,0,0,1,3,12,10,0,6,12,113,38,3,0.0,0.15209249330236052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275770893116144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26920548661565946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870538368266944,0.0,0.07825060580538941,0.0,0.10922984899236077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087749755430408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248965337996783,0.0,0.0,0.08278532745899465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369400591023104,0.0,0.0,0.08478440629236868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101186059584824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325130722458748,0.0,0.11732402401426255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766715043483382,0.10266586401172677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208179206725088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840354976803268,0.1336732367598306,0.2116394749476852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066856722589256,0.06271305033994387,0.0,0.11334936124417573,0.0,0.10779494992521348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492072835384986,0.0,0.094363639679625,0.09518162096249327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698399440875049,0.0,0.13659027139094573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229389615722524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904309306340314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446884866319056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24421055993957894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501682645701733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262918005729609,0.09882227126452907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251310099871268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041136058887116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485113560194878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743039165105744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271404402284507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583017672744228,0.0,0.14761434546893595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrlPwrGang,2019/02/10,"I’m proud of how I’m doing In the last few years I’ve endured various medication changes (and subsequent side effects), hours of emotionally draining therapy and various traumatic events. Simultaneously, I’ve discovered a job I’m utterly passionate about, learnt to love myself and make decisions that benefit my healing. All things considered, I’m a bloody trooper and you are too ❤️ ",6.124313725490197,8.91256711764706,7.571176470588237,60.966960784313756,69.0,12.768627450980391,40.74509803921568,11.855464076750405,6.558315686274513,316,20,47,14,6,108,53,68,0.09,0.72,0.19,0.8122,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,3,0,2,4,0,3,1,9,8,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,5,8,4,6,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,4,25,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34426516647710753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660685391476698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204861408212186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229422281221405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652714866563572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937161617469731,0.0,0.2172291828431377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32783970386265143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372161217098013,0.0,0.2162033524482805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095683060492772
mentalhealth,grdgdrgdgdrg,2019/02/10,"I feel alienated. I'm not the same as everyone else. I don't really feel emotions. I don't feel much guilt or remorse. I see other people with friends and they can laugh and have a good time, but I can't. I don't understand all the social norms even though I try my best to follow them. I do well at it, I have friends, had a girlfriend, etc. I pretend to have these emotions and understand how to talk to people but it's actually extremely frustrating. When someone wrongs me why don't I feel bad about it? Why have I never had a crush on anybody? I feel so different from everyone else. I always see people get into this really good mood whenever they're with their friends but I'm just annoyed by everything my friends do, I hide it and laugh along because I want friends, but at the same time I really dislike being around people. ",2.374917664670658,4.5670123413173656,3.813559131736529,86.31159618263473,78.28143712574852,7.528293413173653,26.0063622754491,8.472884824447931,1.926916467065868,659,26,132,14,16,217,92,167,0.092,0.6409999999999999,0.267,0.9862,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,1,9,17,2,1,6,0,15,0,0,1,2,29,29,14,0,1,7,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,7,1,0,1,7,5,1,0,2,7,23,11,16,26,6,10,0,0,2,0,11,5,0,1,4,91,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.11322338819842892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654186009052766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032865978685852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687579334303004,0.07072759131349557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176078359682885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122113591873188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19384752818237247,0.2610243829544443,0.0,0.0,0.12939823054448474,0.0766332321173034,0.0,0.0,0.2217331807443292,0.104275535403023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933279183784722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4482020473558944,0.0,0.060618126516948014,0.0,0.0,0.19463205774488965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529151785371612,0.0,0.08948541537444604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32174772290759257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229852163888958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491335727232489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827258886973452,0.098307367218191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325627355262864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399369654388518,0.0,0.13530989245941538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877316759669405,0.0,0.0,0.2415716469596685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843438489238664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432015567217444,0.0,0.20938852337381555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268548154885861,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lotheva,2019/02/10,"Indoor Houseplants as indicators of health You know that movie Oculus, where they use houseplants to indicate how far the mirror’s effect has spread? How true is that? 
I recently had a lapse in.. everything. I think it was a minor depressive episode stemming from lack of sun and other vitamins (I had the flu, didn’t take my medicine (including vitamin D) or eat for.. a several weeks). My houseplants grew raggedy. One new transplant died. 

I love gardening. I love tending my plants. I’m doing better now, back to taking my medicines and supplemented with some vitamins while I try to get back eating. It’s funny, my dogs were still cared for. They make themselves known. (Although no walks or park visits). The plants really told me something. ",3.9327318295739353,6.990043676691734,4.0153684210526315,82.0669122807018,78.3984962406015,7.456441102756893,27.663659147869677,8.447377352677275,2.5027698245614025,591,25,99,13,15,182,101,133,0.092,0.753,0.155,0.8767,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,2,2,7,6,0,0,6,0,8,9,0,5,1,16,21,9,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,5,3,2,0,4,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,6,0,15,5,11,15,2,14,0,1,0,2,7,3,0,3,8,62,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952570366770695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979962115897435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957466789239533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536077195590645,0.0,0.19925538855571495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929075582013471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725483015759247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003068911110158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407647394288891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551272532043253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465570804906976,0.0,0.12815486719513752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542521268945933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009744488725275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229937594845428,0.0,0.18956703913803485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21689413915691808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780334102680462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533235234603085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28870528882121504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301948909351255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345474608492093,0.0,0.13034865969310747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581778366339486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400285907073616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,INeedHelp839,2019/02/10,"What to do when therapy doesn't work- Barely clinging on  This is a long story so stick with me. My partner is severely depressed and is constantly suicidal and experiencing major mood swings. In the past they’ve gone to therapy but it was a VERY painful trial to find the right one. Now that they’re in college, they’ve stopped therapy. After a couple weeks of rocky times I convinced them to see a therapist in town. After two sessions they’ve checked out. They make any excuse to not like the therapist and don’t want to go back. They’ve been to every type of therapy and have heard every coping mechanism and advice a therapist can give. They are fully convinced that therapy cannot and will not help them. I don’t necessarily believe that but I do believe that they have an attitude that makes therapy pointless at this time. So, any suggestions? If we don’t do something, they’re not gonna be around for much longer. I’m so lost and so scared. I just want to help them. What is there to do other than therapy? ",3.3857575757575766,5.6227716161616215,4.373737373737374,83.29727272727273,75.26262626262627,8.036363636363637,27.161616161616163,8.841846274778883,2.2596040404040414,812,32,155,18,18,263,116,198,0.155,0.789,0.056,-0.9693,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,6,2,10,8,0,1,9,0,21,1,0,2,0,24,33,15,1,3,7,0,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,1,11,11,0,1,1,0,1,2,8,4,0,2,5,3,13,3,23,25,2,23,0,2,1,0,14,9,0,1,13,102,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914981379265636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734876859299255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083354181530317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199882675566857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109870848617908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118517484937828,0.0,0.0,0.10360432702084096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064689469371461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577814992482277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557985151486662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982234022157744,0.05321440466583832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255218983261026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04574488116333543,0.0,0.0,0.0828632130672439,0.0,0.0,0.10221265764362307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125002949090358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883182144522222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344887492749066,0.0,0.0996332613224334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938432293930844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996299151538985,0.0,0.0,0.0937440472743953,0.0,0.07461423779815345,0.0,0.0,0.1057798569356949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208408825248072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828228236502634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242048456107518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7495511041794803,0.32614914629726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919756843245004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914668892271946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725792099793834,0.11045561106569377,0.0,0.0751076099313348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816672439635904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,endokrane,2019/02/10,"I have no idea where to start to get help So, people online have told me to get help. But I have no idea on where I would even begin on trying to get help. I also know nothing about insurance (I dont work). I dont think I have the balls to actually go through with it, but at least knowing some information about it can help sway my decisions. 

Just some information that I know of:
I'm from Fairfield County, Connecticut, and I have Husky insurance A (whatever that means)",3.7735410334346495,5.077430670212767,4.962036474164137,83.40500000000003,72.08510638297872,8.77568389057751,26.19452887537993,9.23628265651192,1.9941933130699088,369,12,77,8,7,122,58,94,0.036000000000000004,0.861,0.103,0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,0,0,18,22,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,10,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,11,0,14,20,3,8,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,2,54,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.17466646041529382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431366321683168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4195451861048071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821988033651452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28054151436890196,0.0,0.10172300037232082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4798875112985125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40411131191191546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951013576307855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19497039491529533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174380521588747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240877366442602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266886216584664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468827776078384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103069627876574,0.0,0.1215210971756292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030538957813753,0.0,0.0,0.12714793377397807,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vliu-uilv,2019/02/10,"Life's kinda hard, ain't it? Hey redditors, I'm just going through something and currently I feel like there's no one I can talk to.

Background info: I had a weird childhood no dad, toxic mom, somewhat lonely and desperate for friends, so I came off as clingy and annoying, by the time 6th grade came around, I couldn't change what other kids thought of me. In 7th grade I started at a boarding school, no toxic mom, and a fresh slate of people who didn't know me prior. The first year was rough, I was still somewhat annoying and I felt isolated from the majority of the people there. The 2 major things that happened during this year was that I finally felt free, but since my mom wasn't there constantly criticizing my weight I gained about 60 pounds. 8th grade was great, I no longer cared about fitting in too much, and I got a super close friend and I loved my teachers and staff.

I'm in 9th grade now, but I'm back at my original school with the people who don't like me, 80 pounds heavier with anxiety. I'm so self-conscious about myself, I obviously haven't made many good friends and I'm drowning in self-deprecating thoughts. My mom recently came back and I had my biggest panic attack yet, and I feel like I'm just drowning in self-pity, and I'm mentally stressed and tired. I just don't know how to improve my life, there are so many posts like this, but I've tried most of the techniques people've recommended, but I just don't seem to improve. Thanks for reading 🙃",5.5488888888888885,5.900951399317408,5.6190841865756544,83.7690282518013,67.43003412969283,8.831930223739096,30.953545695866516,8.680891452615391,2.205449905195298,1172,43,239,17,18,369,157,293,0.123,0.662,0.215,0.9894,1,2,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,3,22,21,3,2,11,0,16,5,0,3,1,47,43,22,2,1,8,5,7,4,3,0,3,0,0,1,10,20,1,0,10,1,1,4,12,7,0,2,17,7,29,15,27,25,6,34,0,1,0,1,14,12,0,5,21,138,39,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221482278641762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840349447388104,0.0,0.10739226161490928,0.0,0.1451736989456534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239012334833249,0.09624586684041744,0.0,0.0998614124143086,0.0,0.0,0.1020115658356226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546173819239516,0.13487704160828567,0.1812753013270755,0.1034092700307035,0.0,0.08029557013046759,0.0,0.0,0.21879683361802368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05364901284257635,0.0791772338062818,0.07549934298391622,0.10407500905695713,0.0,0.0,0.08347654612061275,0.0,0.08456278201096648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375822227977748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335332675067196,0.18447393952257413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519860159280059,0.08932242599752516,0.0,0.19141113123778572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951317864683274,0.0,0.0,0.4422349295099409,0.0,0.0,0.06939397886496068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396706920254601,0.0,0.0,0.110756651165182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19633272374392893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040795511904316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442434456712344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320742556914396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910732484195581,0.0,0.08593712115808508,0.29543560463323243,0.0,0.0,0.07808766194985911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726728073101111,0.0,0.0,0.06681595573750665,0.0,0.07538700275061834,0.0,0.10813350521286676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758741788021087,0.0,0.08690973115908683,0.0,0.0,0.0627143674311573,0.0,0.0,0.14988420377512976,0.05504469878032349,0.10849753272446007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409058796100232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495230588970635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157946302561252
mentalhealth,Audi-RL,2019/02/10,"How do I combat emotional numbness/apathy? My mother has been battling thyroid cancer for a couple months now, and the other day we found out it was stage IV. Even though I’m aware she can possibly become sickly, I have had no feelings about it. This is how I am with most things though. I just, for lack of better words, don’t care about anything. She always keeps asking me why I don’t care about it, or why I’m not upset. I guess she doesn’t understand. The cause of it could be anything really. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a nihilist, and that I don’t care about life anymore because I can’t find a deeper meaning, maybe it’s my meds, maybe it’s my mental illnesses. Who knows?

If you have a suggestion for me on how to either care more or live with purpose feel free to comment below.

Extra Info:

Meds I’m on: Luvox, Seroquel

Known Disorder(s): (Severe) OCD, GAD

Possible Disorder(s): Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Disorder",2.26091575091575,4.950820549450555,3.480109890109893,85.54822344322349,82.5164835164835,6.323809523809524,22.952380952380953,7.62386473244151,1.383517216117217,748,26,135,13,21,242,117,182,0.119,0.7559999999999999,0.125,0.2833,0,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,1,1,0,1,12,8,1,1,7,0,17,7,0,4,1,32,34,10,0,3,6,1,2,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,13,6,0,1,9,0,1,0,7,2,0,0,4,2,18,7,17,28,5,8,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,5,3,92,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707614890456544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157021464762918,0.0,0.0,0.19201372157512187,0.0,0.10906773758971174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111901696913553,0.12884934816508178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318233068792217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757984362493704,0.11984897221143437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314897083376618,0.12908962883471586,0.0,0.07524045402273652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674205904310895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312344813102174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705734118942445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798050982516199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663136941724384,0.0,0.0,0.12791915777630847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852166685589908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369883940524924,0.0,0.0,0.06411703890436718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240523258238268,0.0,0.0,0.10301894870710376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35162253677106586,0.12708438039405048,0.2591810959119966,0.0,0.11757272474435038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312235098454223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630486435979701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473975899983401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318003104954425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750825810418684,0.0,0.2292491370996861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145428495674285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105473362009313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Alyvrius,2019/02/10,"Can't handle my workplace [Vent] I had to leave my placement area early today; got too overwhelmed with thoughts of inferiority and inadequacy. I left before they saw me break down fully, but now I'm just crying my eyes out in public because I'm so torn up. They wouldn't care about my mental state anyway...",4.0284745762711855,6.108129813559327,5.212000000000003,78.71223728813561,72.89830508474577,6.07593220338983,23.664406779661018,6.742157984588678,0.8540616949152549,245,7,44,2,5,81,50,59,0.248,0.735,0.018000000000000002,-0.9248,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,7,9,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,2,9,1,8,4,0,11,0,2,2,0,3,6,0,0,3,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517320803543831,0.0,0.2864008310264815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34316099864644584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697122151903087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691900523735659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563846956694965,0.3656901001837323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391887872091203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26720323031680343,0.0,0.0,0.3190340749857246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fairywoodlandsprite,2019/02/10,How does our mental health influences our physical health? I hope the question doesn't sound too stupid. Can our mental health negatively influence our physical health? If so in what ways? I feel like if I feel sick it only adds to my bad mental health. Can I somehow avoid it?,2.3017857142857165,5.2056596730769265,2.964835164835165,87.03730769230772,86.88461538461539,6.817582417582417,20.89010989010989,7.957251820313856,1.3953263736263737,221,7,41,5,7,69,34,52,0.168,0.693,0.138,-0.4184,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,4,0,0,0,4,5,1,1,1,0,3,6,0,3,0,12,6,4,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,9,2,2,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,5,1,25,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257724063005035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182010353085372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232931512186662,0.10761236786012354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8005800872160709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961272768389935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359175884863832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554084228961088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456331476176634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874362616758198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195656001870224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Amanwithaplan81,2019/02/10,"Im experiencing a sense of reality feeling altered Hi (this is my first post to reddit and I'm fairly illiterate so please excuse any misspelling, weird or incorrect punctuation and vague word use.), so as of lately I feel something is wrong not like a palpable thing but like something is wrong I'm also experiencing lots of confusion the feeling of being lost in my own head, and a feeling that nothing is really actually happening... advice? (sorry for all the rambling I'm experiencing a sort of issue at the moment with these problems and feel really lost and confused.)",4.265830419580418,7.246416509615389,6.36458041958042,66.27132867132869,76.21153846153847,8.781818181818181,30.60839160839161,9.339509955726095,3.667242307692309,463,22,70,13,11,161,70,104,0.223,0.706,0.071,-0.953,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,3,10,0,2,7,0,5,1,1,1,1,22,17,11,0,1,3,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,8,0,1,2,8,3,2,11,14,3,6,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,5,5,45,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.16015965267856924,0.0,0.0,0.1603783748340543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124851353345707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160876607376692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149257346555515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960231211723215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513277416254947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684367899674055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728020635701913,0.17130100110533153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18513706006849198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16036369404240652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583176727270805,0.1395308779867492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15747973668025345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801569585591486,0.0,0.0,0.1571837593020635,0.0,0.0,0.1570428394280408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102818471080796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526986709741797,0.0,0.18372143529243734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090355381017109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174893904470287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588838580532401,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kjr519,2019/02/10,"Effexor experiences I started taking Effexor for ongoing depression/ anxiety issues that I’ve been struggling with for as long as I can remember, and am just now getting addressed.  I’ve only been taking it for 2 days so I obviously haven’t noticed any change yet, but when I was looking up posts on this page about Effexor, all I could seem to find was people taking about the terrible weaning/withdrawals/side effects (which I am fully aware of, thanks to my nurse mother).  I would just like to see if anyone has good things to say about Effexor?",9.087647058823533,8.112902274509807,9.024823529411766,66.69370588235296,60.56862745098039,12.473725490196081,40.007843137254895,11.602472056035307,4.825487843137255,440,20,73,11,5,144,76,102,0.073,0.816,0.112,0.7136,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,1,1,0,11,0,0,1,2,14,20,7,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,3,8,3,16,14,2,9,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,2,7,51,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556491797659434,0.0,0.15250229657061382,0.0,0.0,0.1393902394052898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210885994652494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916484998715735,0.0,0.0,0.12856433592665464,0.0,0.17169996671364834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19500267018072695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18220239864495094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415221011125544,0.0,0.0,0.1672054230096022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20806973306025175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739239933408922,0.0,0.0,0.1764185834986724,0.16740389364584585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269614335226425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516147497339148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820427306393426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909223100177744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258248255924471,0.0,0.0,0.15853121718426305,0.0,0.0,0.1588562361261712,0.1814808626760212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110104137023144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20840402954383555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44965944366063054,0.0,0.0,0.18353480746321532,0.0,0.0,0.13243936206160206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416126059998268,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sourwitch,2019/02/10,"Is there anything that can be done for an adult who refuses help? We live in the US and this person is in their early 20s and experiences anxiety and depression but is now also refusing to leave the house, has never had a job, doesn't really do anything to take care of himself, and has always been very demanding, angry, and aggressive. He believes that everyone is wrong, that he's the rational one, and bad experiences with doctors leave him feeling like they can't help anyway. ",13.718333333333335,8.36564927777778,12.761111111111116,57.00500000000004,56.22222222222222,16.88888888888889,47.77777777777778,14.06817628641468,6.413777777777778,385,16,66,11,3,127,69,90,0.248,0.623,0.129,-0.9119,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,2,0,4,6,1,0,5,0,14,1,0,0,1,13,17,8,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,8,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,1,6,2,7,13,0,5,0,1,0,0,15,2,0,0,4,50,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420205264261896,0.1477710496460726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358576504598939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922867203096277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828218198998774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008574705096133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810672218096788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296001821819885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177328047400407,0.0,0.1817386178165995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16969708699017866,0.0,0.3474387625617453,0.0,0.0,0.08979602081136459,0.12687199986682987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23807279781399865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204917711003719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623298989932912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37608928167765104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676264452223809,0.0,0.15681728576655246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697015725092831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203411625666671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506677718189413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137701975441731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352733455295793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136217130722812,0.0,0.0,0.14653227564713447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19416933980585765,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WalrusMan16,2019/02/10,Just joined Reddit. Feel like this could help me for the first time in awhile. I've felt helpless to my alcohol addiction and depression for a few years now. Reading this thread has empowered me more than I've felt for a long time. Thank you.,2.6110638297872337,5.1965330851063865,2.6377021276595762,92.89400000000002,79.85106382978724,7.164255319148936,22.16595744680852,8.238735603445708,1.2162544680851064,193,6,40,4,5,58,38,47,0.128,0.725,0.147,0.0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,6,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,3,4,2,6,3,2,7,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915517178223949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858146165055086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21353101334003344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303477676495383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522692517075252,0.19106092093207988,0.5135733346580709,0.0,0.0,0.2274863889800961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926101916484274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065885918343953,0.0,0.0,0.23667812905628596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675147974226381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24622505172436304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31189565595428875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722241524214621
mentalhealth,anonthrowaway200,2019/02/10,"Very confused about my mental health I’m on medication for depression, and it helps me lower my anxiety too. But I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something else.

My childhood, my existence basically, has been full of medical trauma. Possibly other trauma. But a lot of my childhood I can’t really remember, it’s like in my head every day before this day didn’t happen. 

I’m struggling to understand if the way I feel is normal or not. 

I’m struggling with feeling like more really bad things happened to me as a child but I just don’t remember. 

I feel like I’m missing something, and I don’t know what to do about it. And I have a big problem with trying to look up things that I could possibly have, like DID. But I don’t really fit the criteria for someone with DID, yet I feel like I wish I had DID?? For some reason. Maybe just because I wish I had this better understanding of what’s going on in my head. 

How does a person know everything that they are and have been through is all of it? And not just a tiny portion? ",2.385511133603238,4.394008451923078,4.223704453441297,84.27919028340081,77.46153846153845,7.648178137651823,25.370445344129557,8.532816995589336,1.8607365384615384,810,30,162,17,19,274,106,208,0.118,0.7190000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9283,1,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,1,9,16,0,4,8,0,22,5,2,2,1,41,42,13,0,6,11,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,14,8,0,0,12,0,0,2,8,10,0,0,8,6,24,6,23,33,6,16,0,2,1,0,4,8,0,5,10,116,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431176579766304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202229361089204,0.06718412257224564,0.0,0.09378216932277368,0.0,0.0,0.09747342760988682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799519651249124,0.0,0.0,0.14215505502975986,0.0,0.09492530739905693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644713516851787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206786101343124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092858239457975,0.0,0.09905130687613962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786321215839375,0.23620610917773235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263593583047412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19491995506060172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262183143707225,0.11715004588337265,0.0,0.0,0.07387268182594448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113910411866052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692197215314091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255019886307173,0.0,0.0,0.09369817611383313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072261970776594,0.0,0.0,0.22205369382316092,0.11106762560856792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798421564005216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623273887411868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24849460899633405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545785877977763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118136052911468,0.11331614052899075,0.0,0.0,0.24969708961507306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338214530262763,0.1696929376372076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304347163985583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643971569778114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482661361621279,0.0,0.0,0.2294688513762635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909363209531355,0.0,0.08748103888450975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534763834051688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eeezsleeezy,2019/02/10,"I cut myself today I haven't done it in years. But today it happened and I think my life is coming to its end.
I want to die so bad but I wish I felt different. I think I have no choice at this point.
It's true what he said, no one will love me and I will die alone.",-0.9938172043010738,0.39800843548387377,1.5722580645161308,102.19505376344088,85.61290322580646,4.778494623655916,13.559139784946234,5.46131890053228,-1.3703311827956988,201,2,56,1,6,69,43,62,0.27,0.535,0.195,-0.5574,1,1,0,0,0,2,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,11,15,5,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,3,2,12,2,4,10,0,8,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,36,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191257999200536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766546006587908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18225138807878027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4391586997720341,0.22104873279646056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21651261482542628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18739086184648446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20314323960717195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870932872378677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944025253416626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095287455994087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336732661153195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000048522680893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012543534406864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711348449270201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40109289239496776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479122510705445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24329848523561795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624606224849434
mentalhealth,snowyday0000,2019/02/10,"Religion and mental health Serious question...

My mom divorced my dad 20yrs ago. My dad still considers them married in the eyes of the church. He still talks about her all the time, shares old stories and is convinced when they die they will be reunited in heaven.

She has since remarried. He has never and will never date or have another relationship.

Is this just a matter if religious belief and staying true to your beliefs, or is this a possible mental health issue?

My siblings are split on the seriousness of what's going on.

I would appreciate honest feedback. Thanks.",4.378225948808471,7.413090000000004,4.9025948808473085,76.59110326566639,76.18446601941747,8.01729920564872,28.7811120917917,8.841846274778883,2.9579786407766995,462,20,73,11,11,147,77,103,0.055,0.763,0.182,0.9274,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,1,3,0,5,8,0,0,6,0,11,3,1,0,4,17,13,8,1,2,4,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,11,6,8,9,1,15,4,0,1,0,16,4,0,4,9,53,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693508228290355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974708446932435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954473236050029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070270862117468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003525418508915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965580535157138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37956627241956975,0.0,0.0,0.22055911851253954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29048931808056705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19761106657866406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230347713002026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21096246564241267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021861295818296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578096380086098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20072498290643773,0.30078656866664377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136517608864936,0.0,0.17338054880334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981140956215224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377773777675442,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stephaniebws,2019/02/10,"Sensory overload. How do you deal? I'm not sure if that's exactly what it's called. I've had it my whole life and can now recognize that it happens when I'm emotionally overwhelmed and overstimulated in general. Got a lot going on. Busting my ass at a new FT position I love. Good stress is still stress though. ...and it's social work. So I hear about the most heinous trauma. ...and can deal with it well, but when my personal life balance is off on top of that...it's like I can't breathe. I know it has to do with anxiety, but it feels like I am not comfortable in my own skin. My weight feels off. The way things fit me. I don't want things touching me. Every speck of dirt in the house, every sock out of place is magnified. Noises are amplified and irritating. What can I do? What do you do? ",0.6592282854375213,2.971158552147241,2.596280271230224,91.72859541491766,86.17791411042944,6.621762996448176,21.46238295124314,7.85451343220497,1.005166871165644,616,21,138,13,19,205,99,163,0.152,0.735,0.113,-0.6952,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,2,9,11,0,3,5,0,17,7,3,1,2,23,28,13,0,2,5,0,5,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,14,8,1,0,3,0,0,1,4,4,1,0,2,6,16,7,16,26,4,19,0,1,0,2,9,12,1,3,7,90,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136109282008944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199174920764653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271069422623416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17845148118858184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26732632892577274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604288485730848,0.11333424728005373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016019947249207,0.1330618182034698,0.12688091472337132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028705563686011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17880164871299134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18305216718689035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718577958839725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241078055889093,0.15500944289167098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348721965533686,0.143181067225307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321793342536527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385205284735842,0.16574766702799165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171606980866496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669212060943966,0.0,0.36344893906098735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951869671119722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21079008085296835,0.0,0.1558654694566853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357146799889006,0.12592304738984744,0.0,0.19318384961249066,0.14263867679190698,0.0,0.0,0.17711870702531413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549364326361768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,usernameefh3qifq,2019/02/10,"Was Sectioned Twice In Two Days-Getting Worse I've come on here because I'm done with trying to get help, the monsters still here and I still want to die. If I tell anyone I'm just going to get sectioned again. The monster wants to kill me, last night I attacked what I thought was the monster with a knife, I only got the walls. I'm going to have to kill the monster tonight or I'll die. In an hour I'm going to turn off all my lights electronics ect and wait for it to come here. I've got my knife and I'm going to kill it. Hopefully no more monster, I'll update in the morning",0.8850533333333352,2.7144359520000023,2.443700000000004,96.09568333333335,81.48,4.806666666666667,22.416666666666664,5.46131890053228,0.012026666666666408,454,15,104,2,12,148,68,125,0.224,0.726,0.05,-0.9788,0,0,0,0,0,2,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,4,0,8,0,4,0,0,0,1,16,25,5,5,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,4,0,2,6,1,8,1,17,19,4,22,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,3,8,59,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040253802562909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925050395136335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906905000234663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563091370480601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30880529512637417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224619699998124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23318289661274424,0.0,0.3382039757262592,0.0,0.23797435040236906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971925205490413,0.0,0.0,0.1477649296340503,0.1465112109267425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4937850840370517,0.0,0.0,0.12126966437541165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396131669482154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314839590507465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23762025336010986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300339588216478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810896167851875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100694545232378,0.1618220531018152,0.14532937922637956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755000691930719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516121631287872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,areyouminee,2019/02/10,"I don't know what it's, but my brain doesn't work well I constantly linger on highly abstract nonsensical observations, I can't feel like I have a real sense of self but all my emotions and things that make me me I imagine them seen by others. I get de ja vu and racing thoughts, I'm highly hypocritical because I'm so fluid that I can state opposite opinions even though I've been criticizing another for it. I'm full of spite and project so hard, I'm a bit paranoic about other attitude towards me and I can be hit by inappropriate chronic rage, anxiety, moodiness. Sometimes I cringe when I think about my interactions with others, I'm very envious, I swing from feeling superior to feeling like I don't deserve to live, I can feel extra guilty and then hate others for making me feel guilty. I get weird thoughts like ""what if I'm not actually myself but something else entirely"", and then I worry I may be psycho cause I feel like I actually fake all my emotional distress or thoughts, and so I panick cause I don't want to be a psychopath. Sometimes the world feels dreamy. I'm very sensitive and thin skinned
Still I look very normal outside, so I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. ",4.2785011820331,5.877691178723407,5.4191134751773085,79.46361111111112,71.25531914893618,8.456264775413713,30.502364066193856,8.998388855275968,2.588782505910165,957,41,183,19,18,317,133,235,0.309,0.652,0.039,-0.9971,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,1,11,16,5,1,5,0,16,3,2,4,2,41,45,21,0,3,6,0,10,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,12,10,0,0,14,0,0,0,7,10,1,0,5,12,33,6,16,35,5,13,1,0,2,0,3,7,1,4,9,111,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.2200672346475624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182345259295358,0.0862580522039536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873502763565904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310037817989095,0.0,0.0,0.12587301704553322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23166300008430524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184920812283967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941931922130733,0.2536707081742673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447429255784155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990898471483863,0.2416587851479959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782074078830584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100725285703273,0.11132323293697503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382658670074508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393552748123347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203475975101337,0.0,0.09956563783006672,0.0,0.094686664541883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053104748154073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047696631376663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834104442338276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762912757643718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680509852254936,0.2230371881887812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004710899859031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491009423112717,0.07224950936000442,0.1107822242596265,0.26854707194991906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791065936930642,0.06650642626804655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138120993404967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208773074107348,0.11450921895963935,0.0,0.0,0.12328101503805412,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kubasmh,2019/02/10,"Why do i struggle sharing my feelings? So i find it really frustrating that whenever i think of sharing my feelings in deep conversation and opening up i just end up thinking about it too much until i just dont say it. Whenever i do open up or share how i feel, i think that im being a cry baby and that im being simply over dramatic. For example today i was talking to my girlfriend and i told her that my uncle was going to move away from england and to another country which made me really sad and after saying so i felt like a complete over dramatic dickhead. It kind of builds a certain limit to which any deep conversation can reach until there is nothing else to talk about so..... any help?",4.996682653876898,5.633672489208635,6.562829736211032,75.51860111910474,68.71223021582733,9.343245403677058,32.71063149480416,9.444778638647367,3.101987370103917,552,24,101,11,9,190,84,139,0.113,0.77,0.118,-0.4529,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,10,9,1,1,3,0,9,0,0,2,1,22,19,12,0,0,3,0,4,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,10,7,0,1,8,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,5,6,17,6,21,12,1,18,0,1,0,0,13,11,0,1,6,75,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218794584639104,0.17130271007600234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348703125990046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128535784336693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944905752155751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19146285785308045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13647070489736274,0.0,0.14469312328411288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24780713891502515,0.0,0.15685626034899444,0.0,0.14931288008523136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284423707251947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950028436062524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3529250100628852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17011976991599762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981200989192798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15458015079497128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736314083823717,0.12009225675874367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675336461604478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20931192638958332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598292096837396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078483106687697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626136016726537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31403356991695386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485115644334518,0.1561024984896591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741172946687606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Quit_Your_Stalin,2019/02/10,"How can I help a friend Spiralling after a Breakup? So basically, one of my friends just had a a year long relationship end, with her ex having moved on to another girl in the first week and a bit. She’s struggled with mental health issues in the past, anxiety and depression and the like, but it’s only got worse since the breakup, and she’s got really bad recently to the extent that I’m worried about her continued wellbeing.

I really wanna help, but I don’t know *how* I could without throwing advice or whatever that will have barely any effect. I’m at a lost and worried sick, and I don’t know what to do.",3.9947449908925314,5.294954303278691,5.365519125683061,80.73840619307833,71.54098360655738,9.028779599271402,28.30965391621129,9.444778638647367,2.5034561020036428,483,18,95,11,9,162,81,122,0.215,0.6970000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.9548,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,5,7,0,1,11,0,9,2,0,3,0,20,16,12,0,2,5,1,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,4,0,2,4,0,10,3,14,10,2,15,0,2,0,0,11,4,0,1,10,63,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16053075429463368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171480832284104,0.17226001481245212,0.1256723722070973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371654338467119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793492450870415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311627740675429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414925716531259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550172352277888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973495172676847,0.0,0.0,0.25384185731049363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26277656488691364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462004301589198,0.0,0.0,0.22022442724414848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17146375842328135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180566003304566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025802977720134,0.0,0.0,0.1453810361434663,0.0,0.0,0.1793290596051173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555378544835753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460172677118846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113191588601598,0.12494097262216565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682212893861036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104816410919326,0.0,0.1622049023541176,0.17637330579479715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589262340737102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173924169833493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177406173250553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583583210776039,0.0,0.0,0.3336649696706277,0.16741351895569867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578977376489217
mentalhealth,GrandmaSlappy,2019/02/10,"Perminant Facilities? I can't seem to find any information about care options for those who aren't fit to care for themselves and have no family caretakers. It seems to be buried on Google by temporary stay for treatable issues and mental disabilities.  

Does anyone know more about what they do now for folks in such dire, permanent situations? And the cost of such a thing? I live in Texas but general answers are fine.",5.912412280701755,8.090588223684211,5.963157894736844,74.87043859649127,68.07894736842105,10.329824561403509,29.771929824561404,10.504223727775694,3.4689192982456136,339,13,59,10,6,107,62,76,0.067,0.843,0.09,0.4186,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,12,11,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,6,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,14,10,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,1,39,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521467157585099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987663894135407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954084544480863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260762034131872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290321099805629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220523561829996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535772021664161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351924145775246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21452974314150236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448369620967873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423460224347667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730865419677841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589529081099037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140551724820582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,patricia_xoxox,2019/02/10,"Weird dreams from medication?? Hello guys i’d like to ask  if any of you are having really weird dreams - very live and like every single night .. it’s been about 4 weeks since i started taking escitalopram and for like two weeks now i am having these lively and creepy and very realistic dreams every night or when i fall alseep in a day since i cant sleep much..  
Thank you so much. ",6.847799999999999,6.219009746666671,6.826500000000002,79.51575000000003,64.86666666666667,9.633333333333333,24.08333333333333,8.841846274778883,1.280533333333333,301,4,62,4,4,96,55,75,0.071,0.698,0.231,0.9195,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,6,2,1,0,0,6,10,8,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,6,4,6,9,3,10,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,11,34,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446336996134025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110379734515854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803607264407415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30841314495549343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812236616775314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682505122416891,0.0,0.3232290998571937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843785711982493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26908907097578383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435133868847836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172505899557588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30280057077644496,0.0,0.183157316450902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295461346203566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761212593021593,0.0,0.0,0.1685049567619072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878896512115433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020298133967041,0.0,0.0,0.29362345141074725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,evilinette,2019/02/10,"I feel like I’m going to die in my sleep Most of the things the title has already said.

So. I’m sick with fever and a lil’ something else. I’ve had a few encounters with life-threatening diseases/bacterias and since I’m very paranoid person, I always think there’s something more wrong with me than just cold or something.

And sometimes (and right now) I feel like if I went to sleep, I’d die because of something. And I’m doing everything I can for staying awake.
Most of me knows, that this is irrational and I’m not going to die (maybe only because of idk, a bomb), but a part of me is yelling that YEAH, YOU’RE GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF AN UNKNOWN DISEASE YOU CERTANLY HAVE. And since I live with my parents (I’m a minor) I really don’t want them to find me dead in the morning. 

This has happened more than a few times. And it’s a little bit of a problem.

I’m really sorry for a rant. And I know, this isn’t really mental health, just the sub closest for my rant.
Also sorry for mistakes, I’m tired (ironic a little, no?)",2.177319641916796,3.8291036066350728,3.801571879936808,88.68575961032124,76.91469194312796,6.395050026329647,24.51843075302791,7.1686216300943375,0.99737261716693,795,27,166,9,18,265,113,211,0.232,0.725,0.043,-0.9903,1,0,4,0,1,0,33.0,0,1,1,0,6,5,0,0,15,1,10,6,2,0,0,30,30,14,5,4,6,1,2,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,7,13,0,0,6,0,0,4,4,3,0,0,3,5,17,2,24,27,8,13,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,4,4,100,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115202974491655,0.08779614972942684,0.09135108513447043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200774323470978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198583216265271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4557638282378774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171245526805437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866894322433577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102261182447602,0.1568628616873783,0.0,0.0,0.100342786725254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18718243477559626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708375682117076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669781642002022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067147585924767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754538578327398,0.10727218552248292,0.22006964276475924,0.09694340844791886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029520177110318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063887585993533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349750941862563,0.0,0.0,0.12190481223421587,0.11888797978952052,0.0,0.0,0.09586125562347357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505076418137044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109959500155618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937569914122626,0.10443201355373348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18163290015665687,0.0,0.2197313861501861,0.0,0.0,0.33807575805604434,0.10858156340324764,0.2457937877875968,0.0,0.11701770193756547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293721026841321,0.07034669639743474,0.0,0.0,0.06401733659370876,0.1261833242058096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058528324492306,0.06475486710704997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177309886303797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003420110767445,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ResponsibleDoor7,2019/02/10,"Tendency to self harm over trivial things Hi, I have a loving family and very nice life but I cut myself because I can't deal with failure. Recently my grades have been slipping due to my own fault. I keep studying harder but it appears to do no good. I feel very upset and worthless at the moment because I have no skills other than studying, so once my grades drop, it's like I've wasted my whole life. This is my last semester of high school, so if my grades slip hard enough, I am very worried that colleges will revoke my admissions. I'm also ashamed of myself for being so dramatic over grades because I know people have far worse problems than I do. I feel like I have no right to be so upset over such a trivial thing when there are people suffering from physical or mental illnesses or hardships, but I still cry over it anyways because I'm a little bitch. ",7.076091503267975,6.428913458823531,7.116666666666667,77.6827777777778,64.41176470588235,9.673202614379086,34.18300653594771,8.841846274778883,2.8291633986928097,688,26,128,9,9,221,107,170,0.339,0.574,0.087,-0.9947,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,10,15,2,3,4,0,15,4,0,0,0,15,23,14,0,2,6,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,8,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,10,0,0,1,3,21,5,16,19,3,17,0,2,0,1,4,9,1,4,8,88,29,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318590332032682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37560593832450256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920594168489195,0.0,0.1588086965416974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916471839707647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452154043399335,0.0,0.1557747209727139,0.11004635951532253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920162294454676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379897749806961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275194327121734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691801974313758,0.0,0.0,0.08465647300325797,0.12556333371807954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21760631703041766,0.15051253517901866,0.1543887620408492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390273070833442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552363048625072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640478003651638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135841775503438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739568101851924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209612757475505,0.0,0.0,0.1315495009212757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558969201771661,0.0,0.0,0.1606975379126749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301671372020237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046749466865887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3812979263365139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719803976112626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643531440084826,0.15698013788285625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ramsey1990,2019/02/10,Have a hard time knowing if i need a new therapist??? So i have a really really great relationship with my therapist she is such a sweet person and i have been seeing her since may and for the most part i feel good leaving there and i get excited for my appointments but i feel like there has to be something better out there? She makes me really understand why i struggle with what i struggle with but she doesnt really offer me any like planning or strategies really especially with the biggest problem i have right now (heartbroken) and cant stop thinking about the girl im sad about which is causing me to have mood swings and depression. I also need a new doctor for meds too  I  feel like i cannot get the right combination of meds i have tried so many differint things over the last year and idk lol i wonder if the meds i have been on is the best it can get as far as feeling better. I take 3 meds right now and the first 2 really have helped with my anxiety ocd and racing thoughts but we keep changing the 3rd to help me feel less depressed but idk,3.879481132075473,5.291451712264152,4.772783018867926,84.44379716981135,71.97169811320755,8.507547169811321,25.985849056603776,9.017664075816787,1.9062962264150944,841,27,171,17,16,273,117,212,0.127,0.685,0.188,0.9355,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,5,12,17,0,2,14,1,20,1,0,2,0,41,39,20,0,5,7,0,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,15,0,2,10,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,3,8,28,10,19,34,4,17,0,3,1,0,11,8,0,6,12,115,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780976251923398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616647571441489,0.0,0.07443326528013815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210901859953328,0.17210564685509527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995260210662056,0.10292915934263756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760651424118336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958937726776486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24598581734365454,0.13902047018687674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276225353370444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250371815484376,0.0,0.0,0.08160956186904812,0.0,0.10727219785722827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716055434858186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043458101688046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050993293915221,0.0,0.0,0.08648358548879015,0.0,0.0,0.053472839688244685,0.07931145459331905,0.0,0.10302531060035182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426057402200517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494766055925986,0.0986456447530958,0.0,0.0,0.4323078366921209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429155695796647,0.0,0.18794344743139813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053650473548445,0.0,0.0,0.08495750164267203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931017480676239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739923633058436,0.0,0.0,0.10446242740548556,0.0,0.2492777619105839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753449378061371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048651831785443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490531910829884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134609846960858,0.0,0.203435525435558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731565390781147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22594265921513085,0.06464095552357105,0.062345100070629066,0.0,0.07724432651377247,0.056735674318537835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605945360788948,0.0,0.0,0.1012914136385662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779697368941118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055163266623231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265719470618318
mentalhealth,CollemaCornix,2019/02/10,"I don't know who I am anymore the title describes it quite well. I just don't know who I am anymore, not all the time actually but sometimes I get these episodes where I just think I am completly fake.

I'm gonna quickly go over what I have been through/who I am to give you a bit of an idea.

20 year old fem anon here who was bullied basically all her life, never physically but always excluded, trash talked...etc. etc. Don't want to get into detail here. However this got me to considering suicide when I was back in 4th grade, 8th grade was the worst. Decided best would be to kill off my emotions. Created an 'alternative personality' in my head. I tried to be him more and more and eventually I did hear him talk. He was seperate, inside my head, never could **actually** hear him. 9th grade it was bad, but got better. 10th grade was mostly fine, still horror, but eh. Way less bad, so I was good. Got in contact with a girl that was cutting and used to have anorexia. Told me about her therapist that had a client with dissosiative identity disorder (DID). Always had been disassosiating, completly getting lost in thoughts, staring into the distance and thinking up stories about my alternate life, built those stories so intricately that I eventually started to believe them. (example: what would I do if I saw a fairy and she'd grant me three wishes, took me months to get back into reality and convince myself back that that would never happen, since then I have learned my lesson and never think up stories with myself as the main char)

Managed to gain some confidence through meeting my (now ex) bf. His parents were psychologists so he did know how to help me a bit. Start of 11th grade. Told him bout my 'other one' in my head and my history. Spiraled myself down more and more, eventually started cutting cause...why not? Probs wanted to seem edgy (ugh. Why.) Stopped with that, he got me into BDSM...that went bad. Still have scars all over my body and I hate them every single day. Fixated myself around him, tried to make him like me, while actually being really repulsed about being in a relationship. I hated it, but I suck at saying no. So. That time my 'other one' got worse and worse, episodes where he took over my body, talked to me, talked with a different voice, I had black outs and later on woke up not sure how I got there. It was really fucking scary. Cutting actually stopped the thoughts. 

Two years pass, still with my now ex. Moved to him cross countries. Loved him less and less, blablabla, disrespected him because of how incapable he was (could not cut his own bread while still being condescending). I just wanted to break up but he had threatened before to kill himself, did it again and again. Threatened to kill my pet frog. Eventually decided to break up, he still came over all the time. Not gonna say he raped me, cause after all...at that time I did give my consent, true after each time I hated myself more and more and was extremly grossed out... this continued for a good half a year before I finally managed to move away. 

Still get seasonal depression, when I am stressed I hear my 'other one' again, but the worst part is the times when I just do not know who I am. I break down, start crying and think about all that has happened and do not know what is really me and what is not me, because after all...I probably just did everything I ever did because I picked it up from somewhere? Starting to cut because I knew someone that did? The whole 'other one' BS because I thought it was 'cool' or something? How much of me is fake and what am I actually? I don't really know, I just feel pathetic because if all of this which has defined me so much (as seen on my body as hecking ugly scars) is just fake? It's just...something I made up? Am I made up? I can't really put it in words, I hope you understand and thanks for the help in advance.

TL;DR: struggling with not knowing who I am anymore at times, just break down unsure of what is real and not. Pls help.",3.3948270982748596,5.4419330246753255,4.278063578212834,84.8604642372553,74.59740259740259,7.350261678619888,26.557472378367898,8.21005641190726,1.7333444465981778,3119,116,612,53,67,1004,318,770,0.214,0.6990000000000001,0.087,-0.9991,3,0,2,0,0,1,129.0,0,2,2,7,47,42,14,2,22,1,67,12,6,10,13,128,138,50,4,12,28,3,1,1,1,5,2,6,1,2,40,38,1,2,23,0,0,11,20,28,1,7,49,12,97,14,83,76,31,107,0,2,4,3,57,38,3,7,54,436,137,8,0.0,0.0,0.24771091949393406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448598231583808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104445754297074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519422804162729,0.0,0.0,0.04769814871162757,0.11711223127810827,0.12716732237503886,0.18568598191553087,0.0,0.08639955161103148,0.05719808084021433,0.05327781855496692,0.04490011534335171,0.11085087852474478,0.169175202144767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058064996073985124,0.0,0.05215265676011183,0.0,0.0,0.10645843369923501,0.0,0.0,0.08106813456657401,0.0,0.055766195759764235,0.032741119933846034,0.0,0.043726350408841666,0.0,0.0,0.05304168956311959,0.05818445501032195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710709681171629,0.0,0.0,0.11323934101985175,0.0,0.045922506230709315,0.04277417717298729,0.0,0.04562694893061594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025669794741500662,0.0,0.0,0.05561379430797002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04693414040313516,0.13262076057286873,0.09740246386391847,0.028852588981305136,0.08516347506310021,0.2436225454360747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978783940962218,0.0,0.0,0.1503684840827036,0.15630765210200398,0.0,0.17165746669858326,0.0,0.10208603563165948,0.0,0.0,0.050424017298170455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573108222457776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685016037345665,0.0,0.1953051163082581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717177916640684,0.02480265000599856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541920121435703,0.0,0.045820045948509865,0.09607570046747854,0.03388799267983215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04052248357227167,0.1079165668923249,0.07464055138696325,0.0,0.15662145340397596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053272410601473856,0.0,0.13760667406540344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056371786911314975,0.0549767293036402,0.0,0.0,0.044328605048626665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547364235177112,0.0,0.0,0.05103579965563438,0.0,0.05399795096555944,0.0,0.05778502769636201,0.16261620460855064,0.0,0.0,0.054505765792820016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074540357832517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04621722383385755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041995762743324117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04301550892288847,0.07816727758212111,0.05021078858564787,0.0,0.17966903826769254,0.0,0.24326004408825835,0.08488853842412875,0.058154501186621174,0.05307367145647778,0.0,0.05553188394878112,0.0,0.04784818053275045,0.0,0.0,0.12241603596854747,0.0,0.04674029620949202,0.0,0.05894548868744826,0.0,0.13012017840976145,0.0,0.12091221526303655,0.20722234944342127,0.0,0.0,0.09702188029955916,0.11281009371051325,0.0689361944994245,0.0,0.0495928983297447,0.0528512136442794,0.0,0.043847198018744635,0.0,0.0,0.08983273514295048,0.04029722594747773,0.0,0.0,0.04564647303791468,0.04706238693341008,0.09162033477659992,0.056680589490718185,0.05838062295940706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347373162430486,0.10819225916190196,0.0,0.0,0.09807866229167302
mentalhealth,MainAccountant6,2019/02/10,"What's wrong with me? I'm a 17 year old male. I've been diagnosed with depression but I know it's more than that. Firstly, I have really bad nervousness (not gonna say anxiety because no diagnoses). I worry a ton, it ruined my last relationship because I convinced myself she didn't like me. I have a few social media accounts but I never post because of a fear of being judged. Also, I can't talk to people sometimes, I'm completely silent. Another alarming set of ""traits"" is an inability to really feel any remorse, violent tendencies, and inclination towards crime. I got in a car wreck a few weeks ago and the other person got hurt an I didn't feel bad even though I admitted and knew it was 100% my fault. When I heard she was suing for that I was pissed, although maybe that's normal for my age but it concerns me because that's not the philosophy I try to follow. Also, I do have violent tendencies, if someone annoys me I want to punch and fight, luckily I stop myself and also my fear of being judged stops me from doing that. For inclination towards crime I mean I already do some stealing, little things though, like candy and pens, maybe a charger from a friend if I lose mine, I don't feel about this and if I'm caught I just admit that I stole it and take whatever consequence I get, only because I can't sincerely apologize and a punishment makes people think I learn not to do it again. I do idolize criminals, I find myself fantasizing about being some kind of a successful crime lord, like actually thinking about the things I might have to do to make that a reality. Lastly, I really hate talking to people. I'm not good at it and people are so boring. They're not fun to talk to, I don't find their jokes funny, I don't find conversation interesting. I don't have a single person who I enjoy hanging out with, they're either boring, weird, annoying, etc. Even when I had a girlfriend it was boring, being honest the only reason I stayed with her was for sex and to be able to say I had a girlfriend, which I know is messed up, but I don't feel bad about it. I don't judge people, I admire them, I can't make jokes and carry an interesting conversation. I wish I could do it. Problem is, all these things aren't who I want to be, but I feel like it's such a fundamental part of my personality I can't not act like this. I really think that I will kill myself because I hate how I act. I hate how I can't enjoy talking to people, I hate how I never connect to people like I used to be able to, I hate being an asshole who lies and steals and hurts people without remorse. A couple of days ago a friend of mine called me for advice because some girl he was talking to said she was gonna kill herself. When he showed me what she said I laughed because of how she worded it. I stopped myself and apologized but I really didn't feel bad. I did not want this girl to die. Reading the message in the back of my head I told myself maybe it's for the best she killed herself because of her situation. Luckily I did give him actual advice on what to do and she decided not to do it and seek help. That being said, shouldn't I feel bad for this girl? Why don't I? What's wrong with my head? I try to be nice and helpful but I fail a lot and I fail horribly.",3.0678843270672327,4.468701023988012,4.89226011994003,82.83366408142079,73.99250374812594,7.889389920424402,25.270701187867605,8.502166056373571,1.6638744320147616,2561,83,521,46,52,875,262,667,0.355,0.55,0.095,-0.9997,1,0,0,0,1,1,72.0,0,0,2,6,23,67,15,4,29,0,60,6,3,9,3,96,107,43,4,11,21,0,7,6,4,5,2,6,0,7,40,25,0,3,22,4,1,6,29,42,0,1,24,13,103,25,61,67,14,38,1,7,0,1,56,9,1,8,26,368,143,6,0.1108851225179914,0.0,0.10820788420633716,0.0,0.0,0.10835565838840024,0.0982929706867504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061182245015923724,0.13301218862391956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037702842862553064,0.05813635960602592,0.04241340761016822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04263190734309972,0.2314611140696525,0.3041754366981157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058183547507110175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661305389539745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058130470641186927,0.0,0.0,0.0442663737630388,0.061346139498709935,0.0,0.03575586536339758,0.0,0.04775259677159215,0.11254606524226908,0.05754062533528294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183311138297491,0.07323857764063614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477659073183345,0.1962339738458458,0.03960817684137408,0.0,0.0,0.15202048969210932,0.047159414284056185,0.0,0.0,0.08566957059496091,0.0,0.028966449950497162,0.05318555674055039,0.0,0.046502589929543335,0.08868496202635588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273690254671738,0.11380012606208008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432396026574252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870481703616267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18401693860268614,0.05773489582005351,0.06093956343940987,0.09038617449231824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251860951522096,0.05556801166496865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062026044390880136,0.0,0.04713528293764528,0.0,0.0,0.11102502047677017,0.0,0.16709851431416542,0.060393202754828415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05881579598048981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552144233684397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432193846345443,0.0,0.0,0.05817764159865683,0.0,0.0,0.0843331323499201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060038891005338976,0.0,0.3074951288599622,0.1452309179162278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309864794665088,0.0,0.0,0.05305104344340803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055457564803463366,0.0,0.17758962215215324,0.05700418691978579,0.0,0.05952456199283164,0.0,0.0,0.15821571592824793,0.08818030002923763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231976180736677,0.0,0.056516709157170136,0.0469763022368354,0.0,0.054834110747767305,0.0,0.0,0.059094393434583524,0.0,0.13905739129823055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04168590615488204,0.22281315306543184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050072241007368,0.10657606374677947,0.10894406987940873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052977743221735984,0.0,0.07528371949911082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04788457181941915,0.0,0.0,0.09810437729335723,0.0,0.04447267839822467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05002828799748848,0.0,0.0637562092740127,0.05344465058125953,0.0,0.0,0.056304612204477536,0.0,0.0,0.12123547443526918,0.0,0.03570319169501962
mentalhealth,Sincere3328,2019/02/10,"Having a bad day? I've been working on a few things to ease the stress of bad days, sleepless nights, not being able to leave the office for lunch and things like that. Mental stability and health are key issues that we, as people sometimes forget exist. Its not until something happens do we take a moment for ourselves and take a step back. This was created to give you a bit of a calming mechanism with familiarity.

I call it ""The User Experience""

All the sounds were recorded right here in NYC and you can expect more as we build our catalog over the course of 2019.

​

[https://soundcloud.com/frombrooklyn\_withlove](https://soundcloud.com/frombrooklyn_withlove) (for people who want to listen and still be active on their phones, tablets, ect.)

​

[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLFyaM4cqjjm49IpLMusS\_w](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLFyaM4cqjjm49IpLMusS_w) (for people familiar with the way youtube works and want a totally immersive experience.)

​

\*Headphones are a plus, as they'll give you a more immersive feel and experience, but of course, are not required.\*",13.134512195121946,15.307918060975616,8.793804878048782,61.22558536585368,51.3170731707317,10.218536585365854,34.08292682926829,10.125756701596842,3.5177507317073164,918,29,121,15,10,250,108,164,0.056,0.875,0.069,0.0129,0,0,1,0,0,0,73.0,4,3,2,3,3,5,0,1,15,0,12,2,0,0,2,25,21,13,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,8,13,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,3,10,2,23,15,6,14,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,0,8,86,18,3,0.11113134438448842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36123229563122383,0.40511024207686336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545314410316686,0.1855800612033836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132664530201415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347752784574335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334104692251792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261233377233593,0.0,0.0,0.05619134684408186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21321462386284865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827308082230213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812742234476425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599225070769358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176720476037837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054293161405230564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199425676841004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428923846111382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311334443649861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490556089300356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555433829343145,0.109911741217377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874963517966221,0.0,0.1273005795188125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711388102136093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766145428146354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109629246364007,0.08821088843411147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180988455966233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40511024207686336,0.0
mentalhealth,StormHawkTitan,2019/02/10,"Help/Advice Please So I've been really stressed - like out of my mind stressed. I'm 18 and in college, about to finish up my two year in business (I'm also a guy if that's helpful). I have two projects I'm working on right now (work, not school). One of those I am leading, the other one is entirely my own. I have this annoying wart that's been on my hand and won't go away (I've used medication and it still sucks - can't shake people's hands, so I've been hugging more than normal - being in business and not being able to shake hands is terrible).

There are flees in my room that won't stfu. I'm mostly sleeping during the day (except for classes, if I make them) and working/procrastinating during the night. I'm trying to stop playing video games (slow progress, but it's ending). Watching too much porn (I'd rather not be watching any, and I'm struggling to end that too).

I have way too many friends, and I never see them. I love talking to people and I am VERY extroverted, but I always feel unprepared (and usually am), so I'll just avoid seeing my friends. I have been talking to a girl but she's in Florida (I'm in Washington). We like each other and decided we'd just be friends for 2019 and work on ourselves (it was mutual - our relationship isn't really sexual, we just really enjoy talking to each other on the phone - talking to her usually de-stresses me).

Because I am not seeing people (how I get my energy) - I don't really have any energy. I've been trying to find time to listen to books (currently Jordan Peterson's ""12 Rules For Life""). Trying to maintain a workout schedule (I'm skinny but I'm good looking and good at basketball/baseball/track - it's not that I'm insecure about how I look, I just want to actually be healthier). I still think about this girl that dumped me over a year ago (not all the time or anything, but I'll get reminded and it's weird idk - I thought that'd be over in a year lol). I'm not eating that much, I never have (I'm NOT anorexic).

I hate planning and scheduling. I'll check the news too often and have political conversations with my dad (I like politics - btw I'm a liberal conservative in case you were wondering). I love hip-hop/rap (old-school 90s - some R&B - Fugees, Eminem, The Roots, Mos Def) and I'm a very talented lyricist and writer. I know people in the Seattle rap scene that I've been wanting to record/perform with but I can't find the time. I like listening to that type of music but every time I listen to it I want to sit down and write or freestyle (or just dance), so it gets to the point where it's not enjoyable just to listen to because I want to apply it, and I can't because I don't have the time.

My current two projects are at the point where they are producing, but all the cash goes right back into the business (or needs) so I don't really have any extra cash and I'm very reliant on friends/family if we're hanging out - which I hate because it just makes me look like a dick - which I don't normally mind, unless I'm hanging out with real friends/family, which I try to, because why would I hang with fake friends/family? I'm also trying to study for my permit so I can somehow get my licence and somehow save up and get a car (or have a fellow mentor perhaps lend me one).

When I am at school and nearly forced social interactions - I'm addicted to people and will make new friends that I don't have time for (which makes me feel stupid). Some grandparents are dying that I've been relatively close with (see what I did there?) and it's just hard having people that could just be gone tomorrow. Really amazing people. My grandpa was in WWII and escaped three enslavement camps (I'm 50% Polish).

I just don't know what do. I'm in despair. I don't know what anxiety attacks look like, but I'll get to points where I just randomly start shaking and making the kind of noises one makes when they see they got a 27% on their math exam. I've had suicidal thoughts (not so much out of depression as they are out of just the sheer amount of stress on my brain, and how falling 300-400 feet headfirst onto concrete pavement could get rid of all that stress, and the stress that I don't even know about that would come in the future - I'm just 18 - I can't imagine what it will be like later on, or maybe I can).

Every single time I'm hanging out with people I just feel gray, and I see gray: ""There are things I need to do. I could be improving myself. Why am I doing this right now?"" Oh, and a couple realizations of ""Hey, we're all going to die one day"" - which is then immediately followed by thoughts of the future and anti-aging technology and what life will be like if I get to live longer but have to watch my parents die and a lot of my friends (because a lot of my friends are older 45-50+ - I'm weird like that I guess). I'm a Christian but I don't actually believe in an afterlife (I don't know how to literally believe in an afterlife). I'm a Jordan Peterson Christian. ""Christian apologist,"" right? I don't drink and I've never done any drugs, I like having a clear mind - at least I think I do.

Anyways, that's my situation. I know it was long but if you read this far I hope it was somewhat of an amusement for you and not just torture. Any help, personal testimony, experience, or advice that you have to give me would be very much appreciated. Thank you very much! I value your time and energy.",3.1433518618456584,4.564420727522936,4.5996168375607125,84.92572315164598,73.83486238532109,7.7349163518618465,26.21802482460875,8.350231689360749,1.6567730167296282,4203,146,870,71,85,1403,404,1090,0.08800000000000001,0.767,0.145,0.9963,5,1,2,0,0,0,181.0,4,6,7,7,55,56,8,11,39,1,92,20,8,15,8,187,183,79,4,21,53,3,7,10,7,8,6,4,1,4,52,56,3,3,19,10,3,17,32,25,0,9,20,26,103,31,106,139,23,118,3,2,15,5,54,54,2,25,55,548,155,17,0.042869745055956636,0.0,0.08366937427908755,0.04673434992302574,0.0,0.08378363742579363,0.03800144237970165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856583926567246,0.03567106211022992,0.04644935085733872,0.0,0.14576448352124002,0.0,0.0327952376281546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035278147442046125,0.0,0.0,0.04877052387848988,0.040277536665783466,0.03296418775659133,0.0,0.15679799210114034,0.0,0.0,0.09659904463724282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785681335836853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03692848941906166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268400925283316,0.04743455750883334,0.0,0.05529487807114094,0.0,0.03692364859904266,0.0,0.13347608132463373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043870633249816375,0.0,0.04199602947244032,0.04971529402163456,0.043866451635829626,0.0,0.0,0.07593973941022023,0.0,0.0,0.02831506229526445,0.0,0.07223921833317318,0.0,0.0,0.04193483672385497,0.12124134098745387,0.0,0.06502869357601837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836434066045843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987263521233893,0.0,0.17918137926608987,0.04112456579116945,0.04872772809792531,0.0719142164233172,0.03428685134698934,0.0,0.0472258573569295,0.0424477875771135,0.0,0.0,0.03840287109406415,0.08464999578404965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620405936669608,0.0,0.0,0.04257932981512269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04464224250167235,0.14136054445238594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060560337484007326,0.20943991999875533,0.0,0.037854770294548284,0.037938375342317684,0.14399915530325808,0.0,0.0,0.07289264841996727,0.07738323731919178,0.0,0.17169532628326192,0.043463192814188666,0.04306842099407941,0.0,0.0,0.04318675801795329,0.0,0.0,0.12985866514779132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757097636107206,0.06357474551684927,0.09919137066931592,0.041403866913332914,0.0,0.04023035165884175,0.08400649609223483,0.0,0.0,0.0449845859688989,0.0,0.1452482436381932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04760177859235715,0.0,0.0,0.23776386734002594,0.03743220781971039,0.0,0.04705810652861277,0.12157729741214088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428813462178016,0.04879515525528487,0.16478073855243214,0.0,0.0,0.046026062635880514,0.0,0.1464421121659181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301594121092562,0.20496981866996627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818738961480208,0.0429007050731387,0.043700306370251234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030343426199972982,0.0,0.06847166755758838,0.03584102644689358,0.2946428887190943,0.0448167655520542,0.0,0.04689254305003702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378283087955873,0.0,0.03946870151563072,0.0,0.0,0.028480753718487833,0.05493840325484008,0.0,0.10210136693231588,0.19998154473188612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552871424511346,0.0,0.12563253510624176,0.0,0.0,0.03702569541155663,0.09442993517434904,0.17686014677033818,0.10114274540319196,0.034028008203036024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736655390141532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046490409812294735,0.09362905493080746,0.0,0.0,0.09136031068403194,0.0,0.0,0.08282013082870145
mentalhealth,Zwallow,2019/02/10,"How to take that next step I struggled with depression, severe anxiety and eating disorders from age 10 to 19 approximately, and in those last years something here and there changed from time to time, a little cell, then a little thought, and with time I managed to get myself out of those conditions. My life is like sleeping with one eye open at all times, but that's not so bad since one of my personality flaws is having to have everything under control, so it's channeled in a positive way. It's been almost a year since I last felt like I was significantly improving my life. In the meanwhile I went back to college. All my colleagues are dying to get the job of their dreams and I just want to be more qualified. I just want to learn, I was never very ambitious and I was never focused on one interest alone. But there's somethings I want. To do, to go through...but I feel like I'm not going after them. I never really went after nothing, I've spent too much time being afraid of trying, of failing, of succeeding... So now that I'm proud of where I am, I start to feel like I'm watching a little child fragile part of  myself getting lost, and not knowing where to go next. Cause I'm not sure how I can be a more aggressively confident version of myself. I want to be more assertive and  impulsive.  When will I get that confidence and energy  everyone has?  Others attitude is  ""I'M HERE, I KNOW THIS, AND I'LL DO IT' and I'm just..."" I'm here, I'm doing this...yea I know it"". Further talking would get more confusing. Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about?  I wrote this with a migraine so it's probably fucked, sorry",3.4414070711896803,5.128700493788821,4.741242236024849,83.1285905398949,73.56521739130434,7.9352126134734835,27.291447682752032,8.617729084823388,2.0122294314381275,1277,48,252,24,26,423,167,322,0.117,0.7240000000000001,0.159,0.9481,1,1,2,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,2,6,21,17,2,3,9,0,24,7,2,4,6,53,60,21,1,5,9,0,4,4,0,2,3,0,0,2,15,17,1,1,9,2,1,6,7,9,0,3,11,6,30,8,40,43,9,43,0,3,2,1,9,14,1,2,26,170,45,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666160323453997,0.09997674582898892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564422082391631,0.0,0.07384576025756279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422618898997459,0.08059914494792067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916367184088376,0.10211673498028198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826744536252626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314179434207161,0.0,0.10018367924205313,0.0,0.11063260361641176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877505714636063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223926926355074,0.0867556146116967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761769620587807,0.13792317552745015,0.09268465895158594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924112377396894,0.25216666604787114,0.0,0.1645819509442709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897146805487737,0.0,0.0,0.09579187537488866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591523286684116,0.15737089161772014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636504829353008,0.18864019582298733,0.2902475159588659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053747176904631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096120891601893,0.0,0.22335139818523456,0.0,0.2053230974975644,0.0,0.0,0.09262385898163387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19623520522985707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453339642173168,0.0,0.0,0.08428692836159038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407647618836872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061840070867284214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090522721833546,0.0,0.15970246940791422,0.0,0.09660046430008667,0.0,0.0,0.1486281762883695,0.0,0.10805827259529494,0.06832496236077253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091489996203516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097909037228602,0.0,0.07257911131136466,0.1551755221814045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663463366177284,0.2814392857823401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655380434475646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964797904868648,0.2277453517343549,0.07662161696448654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789699464546843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857267586963668,0.0,0.0,0.124325277448735
mentalhealth,understanding_iris,2019/02/10,"Cause or coincidence? I always think about the elements that make up who we are - the experiences that we've had in our lives that cause us to have certain traits or habits or patterns of thinking. I had a lovely life growing up - sure, the normal dysfunctions of any family and the  common challenges that any teen might experience. But I was blessed. 

Entering into my first kinds of relationships I've noticed that a lot of the guys I go out with keep asking me about 'my past'. A lot of them assume that I've had some sort of trauma or abuse happen to me - but nothing like that has ever happened to me. 

When I started thinking about the cause of this, I reflected on other areas of my life. I have had my battles with depression and developed coping mechanisms through self harm in multiple fashions since I was seven years old. Again, I had a lovely life and wonder why I reacted like this? It seems like it's always been ingrained in me and at 20 years old, I'm starting to wonder if it will always be this way. It keeps coming back, becoming more debilitating each time, and I'm afraid that without knowing what causes it, I can't conquer it. 

**Does anyone else ever feel like there is a part of their lives or themselves that you've blocked out or forgotten but explains why you are the way that you are? Or am I really just the way I am for no reason?**

Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Cheers. ",4.3979336114007666,6.030363127737227,5.217549530761211,80.89458637469588,71.00729927007299,7.992770246784843,28.011122697254084,8.563005593585519,2.082912269725408,1123,41,210,19,21,365,155,274,0.129,0.784,0.087,-0.9195,0,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,3,2,2,3,10,18,1,1,13,0,23,5,0,7,4,60,47,18,0,3,14,0,1,4,0,3,3,0,0,2,22,13,0,3,13,0,0,4,3,5,0,2,9,1,28,13,31,33,6,33,1,1,0,2,15,11,0,18,19,150,50,1,0.0,0.10989391492864636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063449997216053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315269885984623,0.0,0.0,0.1892201124261133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485315218972698,0.09503362237921444,0.0,0.0,0.0867089912484352,0.0,0.0,0.0713192400354602,0.0,0.0,0.1024353970230931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3811203463927168,0.0,0.07989615337931051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988568008606718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811663948887717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748095731950752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677958762712139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145514206145905,0.08743670923482035,0.0,0.04689732830252123,0.06626081842369484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889334061898827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271212144312107,0.0,0.0,0.10225751092013564,0.0,0.09183735918325646,0.16403753223470224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488142061380426,0.0,0.09658514361729932,0.050973128150397964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965367967296617,0.18125240685673594,0.0,0.16380039266001725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770594221435236,0.16742149746992901,0.0,0.061911531986274713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839338966587778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087558145797273,0.08899639495992429,0.10559680830050967,0.194651632753802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043951457793884,0.08854063698494545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059418204248495136,0.09536273517484252,0.0,0.09957908968526397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844363712758233,0.09675876991899927,0.0,0.0,0.07672398990804412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129825085536528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741604105991854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829190261695707,0.0,0.07363336185684731,0.0540834340311618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156716656235004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208625648125374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673854022782077,0.0,0.0,0.0894079599287055,0.20116744396876468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588713763656885,0.0,0.0,0.11945627851160613
mentalhealth,PeterGrunbaum,2019/02/10,Mutilated hamster Something horrible happened. I cannot remember the last 2 hours of my life and when I became myself again my beloved hamster was mutilated and hacked to pieces with an ax. I have no recollection what happened. Please halp,5.8000000000000025,8.82066447619048,5.92404761904762,71.29178571428572,70.90476190476191,8.961904761904762,36.69047619047619,9.516144504307137,4.245361904761905,196,11,30,5,4,62,35,42,0.183,0.696,0.122,-0.4215,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,3,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6123420754267351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409679121932672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28222457525886824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24455328071905685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38005780066989203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922123674699489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26654563301566786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayhelp225599,2019/02/10,"Need advice on how to deal with a family member coming off narcotic withdrawals [Bay Area, CA] Hi,

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this - please let me know if there's a subreddit more suited to help in this kind of situation.

I am a 27 year old female living with my dad (late 40s, early 50s) and his girlfriend (40s) and my dad is currently in withdrawal from something called Suboxone. He has a history of drug use but 3 years ago started taking this medication which is supposed to help manage narcotic dependence. I didn't know this was something he took until he let me know a few days ago that he would be ""going through the process of getting off these medications which would be like going through narcotic withdrawals."" 

The last three days have been really bad. He's broken doors, windows, is yelling and punching walls, is abusing Xanax and alcohol and is generally uncontrollable. There was glass and the window screen laying in the driveway today from the broken window. His girlfriend and I don't know what to do or how to help in this situation. 

Is there something we can do to help him? Can we admit him somewhere to help him with these withdrawals? It's really hard dealing with this..I don't leave my room when he's stomping around the house and breaking things. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called the police yet. I'm located in the Bay Area in California and am open to any suggestions. Thank you",5.005393875022129,6.895168728624537,5.285268189060012,79.98500619578688,69.89219330855019,8.39518498849354,29.166401132943893,8.976282227363876,2.47875981589662,1144,44,205,22,21,362,149,269,0.093,0.792,0.115,0.5406,1,0,5,0,1,0,30.0,2,1,0,0,8,7,0,1,15,0,28,5,0,4,0,35,45,17,0,5,4,2,1,1,3,2,5,1,7,0,14,18,1,0,5,0,0,4,4,3,0,1,5,3,16,4,31,34,2,38,0,0,1,0,31,16,0,4,17,127,30,1,0.0,0.1299920104431407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721031164045593,0.19450797819195068,0.117249872497868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460862853209653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766786495232063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160580459252166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22405855831865787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450806817823897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151166724835898,0.2262186508196096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127232293300158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342768866999202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573205344787591,0.0,0.1247048964551562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982813328325456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676916859238125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659411629794465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424924670218835,0.24118166728879856,0.08943076973954725,0.12376108641005032,0.11617026666437573,0.0,0.2243780307001271,0.0,0.0536002488860814,0.0,0.09687862320255312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210486881735845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135082802248632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512537838940327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462677420492895,0.120431970278463,0.0,0.0,0.10507476358349026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405699639001511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466441045756048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25338737184146426,0.0,0.1228147644787812,0.07765545347728649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249055114150157,0.0,0.0,0.1010090256175058,0.0,0.0,0.07288846786148544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399513227269674,0.0,0.12189522285488212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475683953906552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587398973423772,0.1199539847701684,0.0,0.1413031996709001
mentalhealth,vno3333,2019/02/10,"How do you get your loved ones to hold on while in the process of getting better? I’ve been experiencing the worst year of my life mental health wise. Lately I’ve been having pretty bad breakdowns around the time of menstruation and it’s a lot for my family and boyfriend and friends to handle. I am currently in therapy and have been trying my hardest to avoid these outbursts, but whilst in the middle of one it’s so hard to turn it off. I’m afraid I’m going to drive everyone I care about out of my life before I feel like myself again. I know it’s not fair to put them through this but at the same time there’s something in me that can’t stop it. What’s something I can do to not lose everyone I care about and love? ",4.895533333333333,4.8849900200000045,5.384666666666668,86.14233333333334,68.8,8.533333333333335,27.333333333333336,8.167268648758528,1.4513333333333331,573,16,126,7,9,184,96,150,0.086,0.72,0.194,0.9615,1,1,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,1,2,7,13,0,2,6,0,10,5,0,1,0,19,22,10,0,0,4,0,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,9,7,0,3,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,2,3,3,15,8,25,19,3,22,0,1,0,2,6,10,0,1,10,84,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414491364594156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519811044197794,0.0,0.0,0.1377836998847406,0.0,0.0,0.14320685470938754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3301805506652173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094468290212945,0.0,0.0,0.15264565534644764,0.0,0.08187263079069572,0.11567711251476233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510053917014466,0.0,0.16919512874809958,0.0,0.09202400676788558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505031149264125,0.0,0.0,0.1721155191870626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898809915958454,0.0,0.18265507413327292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22874060105137575,0.07910691250245867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811493052200928,0.0,0.13766029801446406,0.29228186220672153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631792962806359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944508192498607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647328907964112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277633788626844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24931094003055104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537404632075714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517192402274785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883604617144928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993441235512234,0.17612464404484354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104272462208529
mentalhealth,Pinkbetty94,2019/02/10,"Do you eventually get over something that causes you anxiety I recently posted my situation on reddit and I’m worried I won’t get over something and I don’t want to leave the relationship because of something so stupid, but as time goes on no matter how hard it is you eventually get over it ? 

I have ocd and intrusive thoughts can someone help me see this clearly?
My boyfriend told me when he was younger he put his nickname initials which start with his first name and then his nickname on a girls *** in pen And since then my ocd and mind had kicked in telling me how can I marry him when he’s done thing and feeling like another girl got his name before me ( I know how stupid it sounds) it wasn’t even his last name initial and I’m getting so much anxiety from it and don’t know why. 
I know it’s the same as a male singer signing boobs and stuff so I don’t know why I feel like this. 
I don’t want to lose him over something so stupid but my mind is racing. 

That’s basically it and I getting out the relationship isn’t an option because he’s the most amazing person I guess I just have anger that he told me but how do I stop relating it to a big deal.",1.7638913043478226,3.805179650000003,3.082065217391307,91.55119565217394,79.58333333333334,6.173913043478263,24.60144927536232,7.255503002510835,0.9359873188405796,916,34,201,12,23,297,119,240,0.147,0.753,0.101,-0.913,0,0,4,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,2,12,8,4,0,8,0,18,1,1,5,1,44,40,28,0,2,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,0,4,16,13,0,1,7,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,8,5,33,3,18,31,3,23,0,1,1,1,29,11,1,3,12,126,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401770396616862,0.180954344745352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441940963083126,0.0,0.10064011136551562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149713942902035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193245179178933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103253806688273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781170364148344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960298188328584,0.16898599029733666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060145354013134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089591986199325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459231229276603,0.0,0.1302891012706699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594779726799053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927471692667465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599951145779321,0.09640684338326633,0.0,0.12523216267423187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556270430666887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323152612855258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388404675068968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694296745642327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103269881974761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327115159389844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889525964427325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677857791847875,0.253958092937683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424686304187543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978351892008726,0.13294182545043734,0.0,0.0,0.1002108350731554,0.3642039049656093,0.0,0.0,0.08371299009328179,0.0,0.0,0.098880049738237,0.0,0.0,0.1353922699056423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337427391418183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857415435462897,0.0,0.0,0.09389415093499558,0.0689649092469429,0.0,0.0,0.2260264701881313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395188794459913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21344279046201767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201101819175662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NaiZ1337,2019/02/10,"dont know the point anymore. Hello, I've been stuck in this state of mind since the age of 16 always questioning who I am why I am here and what personality trait I have. because of this, I have gained a rather large interest in psychology and how we humans function. I will give a brief description of my childhood that has impacted the way I am. I just want to know what I am... please help..

Since a young age, my father neglected me and his affection for me could replicate the oceans wave. peaking with affection at points and going down to points where I feel not wanted. I have memories of me as a child of him leaving our house whilt my mother was left to take care of us whilst he goes out to drink or cheat on my mother now when i think of it.. once moving to a more civilized and developed area my father actions had not changed.. keep in mind he was in his 40's working a rather nice job, what i would consider a middle class working man. Sometimes he would beat me out of his frustration of the day and this would be a repetitive theme throughout the years of my stay at home. we never had a real connection. felt rather fake either way during my child hood i been a naughty kid never did my homework, got into trouble felt no remorse for what ive done i simply dont care.. im so mentally confused.. i dream big and want to achieve so many things but just thinking of the times he would scream and beat me if i didnt understand an math equation gives me anxiety. now when anyone does anything that is loud or similar to what he did it causes anxiety in me and i panic and cant do anything. i cant decide if i love or hate him.. ever since age of 15 i feel I haven't had any real feeling of empathy.. i believed i was a sociopath at a point maybe narcissist i dont know.. i have extreme low self esteem and yea. if anything please ask me any questions its just irritating me that i dont know what i am. i cant tell if i am normal or not.",2.4092279411764714,4.101209137500003,3.866235294117647,88.29782352941179,76.375,7.105882352941178,25.014705882352942,7.928766900206844,1.3228838235294127,1525,53,324,24,34,504,207,400,0.119,0.8220000000000001,0.058,-0.976,1,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,4,0,0,6,16,15,3,2,20,1,41,2,0,4,3,74,68,26,0,16,19,4,5,0,0,5,0,2,2,7,17,17,1,2,15,2,0,4,15,10,0,0,16,7,56,5,38,45,2,48,0,2,0,1,35,23,0,11,17,215,73,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06791310801711803,0.0,0.0,0.1110067211774826,0.0,0.12487581718791504,0.0,0.08094359387063894,0.057069534181391435,0.0,0.20149514728257006,0.0,0.07630225475255152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049753863703888686,0.0,0.0,0.09195606977620764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16643094601510133,0.08384465481358762,0.08634152241609899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516570948993868,0.0,0.0,0.052637163082422174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071424875909406,0.08352403540627137,0.38262497088360586,0.0799550312530217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382858174990492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238062572230973,0.0,0.15673306750440233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659175328742495,0.046385659214701586,0.0,0.06527774900280217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805813447545492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470714213847809,0.0,0.08186998337729254,0.0,0.0,0.09417675976010104,0.0,0.0,0.08816195685002615,0.0,0.08099374070820173,0.07254624911729746,0.0,0.0,0.17942151344016752,0.0,0.0,0.08642217833543511,0.08867870993789888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366385865568885,0.0,0.0,0.08274832129297081,0.08199672659196791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225222410995782,0.0,0.1648227822296237,0.0,0.0,0.0867475202785337,0.0,0.0,0.1258983962932304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996877448758946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692101021299166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576169261091287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126610262188281,0.0,0.17918514799940322,0.30862335436178345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18286273848513165,0.0,0.0,0.18579938210552185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514586786910912,0.0,0.0,0.20254693334475013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072275696799312,0.0,0.0,0.08699443274157748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061366934297701264,0.0,0.07133814305153567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054223686912251934,0.1045956440266447,0.0,0.0,0.047592388077897216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496770902518977,0.09817697383504513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442207045493902,0.12956988998863694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364797711633286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883844111336475,0.0,0.0,0.2319176864349753,0.0,0.0,0.05255962077029012
mentalhealth,JoeWilliamsRed,2019/02/10,Barophobia/fear of gravity. Does anyone suffer from this? I'm currently trying to tackle mine so would be interesting to hear your thoughts.,4.138749999999998,7.442268708333334,4.941666666666666,70.32000000000002,91.08333333333334,9.066666666666668,26.83333333333333,8.841846274778883,3.875283333333334,115,5,16,4,4,37,23,24,0.132,0.7559999999999999,0.112,-0.1372,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,4,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012576537215784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770363792602786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4848217139354712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4855949368405704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420437261666304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925162621043177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060607514767432,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,effygokcy,2019/02/10,"I feel like a failure My elementary school teachers were always telling to my parents “he is extremely intelligent but he is lazy”. I know that this is very cliche but please keep on reading. I was the “perfect kid” in high school with the best grades, sports, social life. People around me always praised me as I’m the brightest kid around. I have been told that a lot, however, that came with a lot of expectations. People were thinking like, this kid can manage everything he’ll face somehow. 

Currently, I’m at the first year of university. I had no problems adapting to a new country and all, but just around the last year in my home country, I had this girl issue(which is not directly related to my point of writing here but it might have changed some things idk). We had a thing, then she left, and I was heartbroken for like almost 9 months(I wasn’t able to eat and sleep properly, but still that’s not the point). After some time, I was kind of okay with this and ready to go to the university. But despite the people around me, I was feeling lonely and broken.

Then, as I said, I adapted perfectly to my new life, however everyone still had expectations of me getting the highest grades, going to a top tier graduate school, starting working and having a good life. 

To be honest, that’s my plan too. Well, definitely there are a lot to talk about but I can put the words together in here for everything. For example, I’m scared of getting old, I’m questioning why we exist because none of this makes any sense, I’m questioning the fakeness of the entire world and people, I’m questioning nobody really really loves you except your family(although you feel like it, I think, every relationship is SUBCONSCIOUSLY based on benefit-it might be materialistic or emotional- we all are getting our cut from our relationships)  and whatever you probably say that these are common thoughts, I’m just trying to give you insight. Meanwhile, I’m using our relationship(me and the person who is reading this) to relax myself by putting out my thoughts that I can’t share with anyone. I don’t mean I don’t have any friends or no one to share. I mean, people act like they are listening and they care, but at the end, no one really cares, and they would just try to consolate me and cheer me up.

Although I study hard, I failed all of my classes, and I think I have anxiety and depression. I sometimes sleep too much, sometimes I can’t. Every day I wake up, I don’t feel like going on. I am extremely anxious that I will fail again and end up like sh*t. 

I feel like a failure.

I am also feeling very lonely. 

I feel like there is no sense in all of this.

Not to mention I am scatterbrained, you have probably noticed if you have read until the end. I can never stop thinking about everything and I can’t even put words together and write proper paragraphs. 

I feel like nobody can save me except for myself, but I would like to hear what you might say. 

Thank you

",5.300503273322423,6.496267214539009,5.762411347517734,79.50653846153848,68.34397163120568,9.188870703764321,30.596290234588107,9.466822959209583,2.737189088925259,2335,91,439,48,39,751,252,564,0.113,0.677,0.21,0.9966,4,4,0,0,0,0,77.0,6,9,3,10,22,39,1,1,24,1,51,9,4,2,7,102,97,36,0,6,20,1,9,11,1,7,3,5,1,5,22,30,1,2,21,5,0,8,16,9,1,3,17,14,71,30,61,71,12,55,1,5,0,1,52,23,0,16,35,300,93,14,0.058884695786579525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896451695357598,0.0,0.0,0.047090069946073024,0.09799356809812504,0.0,0.0,0.08008722475426504,0.0,0.04504663110223333,0.06652294537655354,0.0,0.041173548431348746,0.0,0.0,0.2096794541221386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035895564003512584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179585533098515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734840491789791,0.1200737436273374,0.0,0.06229220031017538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037975757373004564,0.0,0.05071730219639097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060253744370089776,0.0,0.06623735709652827,0.15646308768968106,0.0,0.0,0.0388927862122433,0.0,0.0992257917525952,0.05626685027227688,0.15876530299762426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381909718147008,0.2524034306139058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050087292154803766,0.0,0.0,0.04549416989490785,0.0,0.09229446951688887,0.05648756583010546,0.1003965888415802,0.049389689060314136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052749121291799914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636733176080918,0.0,0.0,0.06221491409266065,0.05906615103856599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233942320345239,0.0,0.06131934924059994,0.03236148883647025,0.04799888630171542,0.0,0.0,0.0639783942664132,0.0,0.12477600618420975,0.31644896778495113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018498786330448,0.05314573695940555,0.0,0.03930599168469825,0.0,0.0,0.12828539270336395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18740207027474207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0432870267630706,0.0,0.04541550751695722,0.11374241224888612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704061643815662,0.06178958275600446,0.0,0.07980358762578263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538448613707334,0.0,0.0,0.20411616891882947,0.051415845072244115,0.0,0.06463771323139213,0.11133014146805133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697532296846178,0.05634470131588368,0.0,0.17758614998286407,0.1978930070300529,0.0,0.1767018924646059,0.0,0.11316913184907836,0.0,0.0,0.18966037887771156,0.0,0.0,0.05601283015269034,0.09365494709623423,0.05895385300060184,0.1787833675196685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178544432192994,0.06002553182981937,0.0,0.0,0.11647693962139938,0.0,0.041678890755606914,0.0,0.09405078823924967,0.04923024235971828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047329287960619734,0.051467819565498237,0.05421311647189973,0.0,0.0,0.07824075073442144,0.15092374160094008,0.0,0.09349574194039473,0.03433613965133418,0.0,0.0,0.05626685027227688,0.0,0.07995768629228059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05085747087486182,0.0,0.09717208185630788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294441327980609,0.0,0.05313427901885605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04286875984597192,0.0,0.0,0.08365999680465581,0.0,0.0,0.07583962695194021
mentalhealth,FinnDenver,2019/02/10,"What methods have you tried for anxiety and depression and what has worked? I kind of feel like nothing will really work. But I have tired

1)medication (helps sometimes)
2) medical marijuana ( has helped a bit)
3) essential oils
4) meditation 
5) B vitamins (just started)
6) therapy

That’s all I can think of now. My anxiety is really heightened right now and my depression is really bad. My appetite had decreased and I can’t stop overthinking and just be generally sad and down. Will anything really help in this state?",4.136451612903231,7.1293644193548396,5.673559139784945,70.95033870967742,76.84946236559139,11.031827956989249,31.880645161290325,10.577609850970193,4.75479870967742,413,21,68,17,10,139,70,93,0.223,0.7240000000000001,0.053,-0.949,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,1,0,12,3,0,0,1,14,15,7,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,8,2,5,11,2,8,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,0,5,42,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620787401539358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096029035384816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430232574745021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870085818166675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29507038236601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661134623414643,0.12237240145605507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444440856190568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837624482465328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368555061801447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451211807339165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16436112368154787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4389410524693769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462840607266122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941405409254326,0.0,0.12124270908797692,0.0,0.0,0.14320937636630746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588951117715744,0.0,0.0,0.10975821912277116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968771478560288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116297318891321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494080089340341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,westanirrelevance,2019/02/10,"Am I hallucinating if I'm mostly aware they're not real? I had a nervous breakdown about 2 years ago during which I experienced really bad dissociation and hallucinations but I haven't experienced anything like that since then. I'm under a lot of stress at the moment and this week is the anniversary (for lack of a better word) of a trauma for me so this may explain it. I've started having hallucinations again though. It started where it would sound like someone was calling my name, always a female voice, but whenever I answered it there wasn't anyone there. In the moment, I couldn't tell it was a hallucination but I knew afterwards it was now. But now it's progressed to seeing someone who I find myself having conversations with. It's not scary in fact it's quite friendly and pleasant conversation. At first, I'll realise it's unreal but I didn't really know what happens but I kind of end up interacting with it anyways. It's not an outside voice but more thought-like but it doesn't feel like it's coming from me at all. I'm aware quite clearly it's a hallucination now so is this something to be worried about? Also is it an indicator I'm about to have another breakdown or of a psychotic illness? Sorry this is quite long and any help would would be appreciated ",3.8245270518954726,6.083108429149803,5.461510857563488,75.90328579315423,74.02024291497976,7.8917188075082825,27.826463010673532,8.710501217029153,2.3378275303643727,1030,41,186,21,22,349,135,247,0.114,0.762,0.124,0.7409,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,6,15,11,0,2,13,0,23,1,0,0,3,40,36,19,0,6,13,0,1,3,1,4,1,3,0,0,24,7,0,0,6,0,0,1,8,4,0,1,7,7,14,7,23,22,5,25,0,0,1,0,10,8,0,5,19,133,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592939697388156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360693504026427,0.11820696951646592,0.0,0.0,0.09660703573632703,0.14896440012531706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933305784795274,0.0,0.11690492664314045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861584125109036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564229994595005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506119182453928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223738393199198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258247712643509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183081882528282,0.10148912562150172,0.0,0.0,0.12984210000537394,0.12083786990951492,0.0,0.0,0.10975675359752901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562496292420913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952211682237551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793571837684338,0.07807356337039603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082129612147763,0.0,0.0,0.12572040506490778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077603749402348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4533012910858423,0.0,0.16169766439779001,0.18201711776693472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320502611913995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751515956488424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407373537055953,0.10936627290185118,0.0,0.15902678516394386,0.20110443836864045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273154813573215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416845506361812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957519981277433,0.11278136445037833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395357233325988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442708631597778,0.0,0.3027503197597558,0.0,0.0,0.09148327431318087
mentalhealth,SK313T0NMAN,2019/02/10,First time posting. I'm moving soon because where I'm at isnt a good place for me and my GF and I want to move in together.  But the place we're going may be worse. I dont know what to do because we have made and remade plans for almost a year. This is stressing me out alot and it worsens my anxiety and depression.  I've been crying alot and I need some encouraging words or something ,1.888606271777004,3.4719245853658585,3.6566202090592337,89.71085365853662,77.53658536585365,6.636933797909408,23.90940766550523,7.447530270364453,0.9374090592334492,304,10,67,4,7,102,59,82,0.227,0.718,0.054000000000000006,-0.9313,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,5,0,8,0,0,1,0,20,15,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,2,0,8,2,7,11,3,14,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,6,4,43,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551024207374727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700194864167938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502150930378539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254377586792323,0.0,0.0,0.17676605508214202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405304220643993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745702681437462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663809774758865,0.17213889774970342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127901617490744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19419551828701967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4362583574710391,0.0,0.15217695696730127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4288476001906809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19655556267693228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799765090740772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350926080935893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196724527935904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105117440617205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20914898193925416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321627047835139
mentalhealth,smashyland44,2019/02/10,Ocd - FREAKING OUT I ate something my mum touched with her hands now I'm terrified OCD contamination :(,2.276666666666664,4.410232777777779,3.2094444444444434,80.06750000000002,110.11111111111113,6.2444444444444445,32.27777777777778,7.1686216300943375,3.086844444444445,82,5,14,2,4,26,16,18,0.4270000000000001,0.573,0.0,-0.8868,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,6,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mstheze7,2019/02/10,"I realised i have abondament issues. How to fix this? So my dad always made me feel worthless and my parents where never there for my. I won’t get into details. I’m a 21 years old male.

I’m dating a girl now and my emotions are so strong and dating causes me so much stress and immense pain (and i’m almost  getting another depression) that it thought it couldn’t be normal. I posted my whole story on reddit and someone commented that i have abondament issues. I searched it up and it was so confronting. Every symptom was right. How do i fix this? ",1.4726746647847584,4.028011073394499,3.1607339449541314,87.33562455892731,85.05504587155963,5.188708539167255,23.980945659844746,6.67199483983844,1.0373664079040226,433,17,80,5,13,143,70,109,0.111,0.8490000000000001,0.04,-0.7589,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,1,1,2,0,9,2,0,4,1,18,17,13,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,8,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,1,14,1,5,10,2,12,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,1,6,57,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19722863554948755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388786618769102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065314572764416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20233386410733603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964277548174814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22155533933802807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594868006881122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958972530930496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20580865953571664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111535684681269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636987001275676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447894711356031,0.0,0.1519089622562192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192980592334432,0.0,0.0,0.20667811300368552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20958107618684552,0.0,0.21870259697153827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188634809853038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820416791015566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688496190990504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256188978913773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20471856352165804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636554461312122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21990064176960789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683684118102642
mentalhealth,cafeconleche17,2019/02/10,"Convincing my father to get help I need help. I don’t exactly know where to go from here. My father (54M) has been showing signs of depression or bipolar disorder for many years. It has affected our family in that something very small turns into him becoming very angry and verbally abusing my sister, mother, and I. When I was 9, he constantly called me a loser because I wasn’t good at soccer or any other sport to the point of screaming at me on the field (we had just moved to the US and I had never played a sport before) and he never wanted to practice with me. He insults my mother because sometimes she mispronounces a word in English and calls her awful names.

He has a lot of issues at work. He has switched jobs every two years because he says managers hate him and want to eliminate his position. It has been the same argument at every job he has. I’m not sure how much is true. He is constantly applying to new jobs. 

He comes home from work and just lays in bed on his iPad or watching tv. All he wants to do is sleep and be in bed even if my sister and I are home visiting or a family member is there. He just quietly goes upstairs to his room. 

Over the past few years, this has gotten increasingly worse and he wants to spend his weekends drinking. My husband and I just had a baby and live in another state so when he comes to visit with my mother, he always suggests a brewery or winery and gets upset when we suggest another activity that is more baby friendly. He spends the weekends drinking and going out with my mother even though she does not want to but does it because she knows it makes him happy. When he drinks, he’s happy. It’s the only time we see him happy anymore.

Last night, my mother and him got into a fight and he said he didn’t want to live anymore. He said if he had a gun, he would shoot himself. This is my worry. I don’t know what to do to help him. He is a Hispanic man who grew up with the idea that a man must be strong and mental health is something that’s never spoken about and it may seem weak. He doesn’t believe in psychologists and doesn’t think anything is wrong. If there is something wrong, he believes it comes from an external source. It’s somebody else’s fault for making him feel this way. 

I am at a loss and I am worried about his wellbeing. He has become increasingly angry over many small things. He’s not happy and we don’t know what to do. We worry about him becoming violent because when he is angry, he has done this in the past. How can we talk to him to get help if he doesn’t believe in getting that help?

Thank you for reading. ",3.629397802197804,4.88230394857143,4.763999999999999,84.88353846153846,72.37142857142857,7.5941391941391965,26.223443223443226,8.055295364500962,1.5399025641025634,2043,67,411,29,39,672,237,525,0.14300000000000002,0.763,0.094,-0.9766,3,0,7,2,1,1,47.0,8,1,0,5,22,25,4,1,22,1,48,7,1,5,8,89,82,40,0,13,17,10,1,0,1,3,3,5,5,2,22,37,3,0,8,12,2,11,14,13,0,1,14,8,52,12,55,63,8,60,0,3,2,0,90,26,0,12,21,262,74,7,0.0,0.07847462873326265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511070830989357,0.0,0.0,0.0450403405901253,0.13890100790920035,0.0,0.0,0.13136959628573847,0.0,0.0,0.05450366707288072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018734490243088,0.2194456286979403,0.05635894093224662,0.22386388813850613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526148352215558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116018601379798,0.0,0.1431475086328602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057045916417926765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759081315112521,0.0,0.11592093536115147,0.06777879685582944,0.0,0.1946477727473336,0.0,0.0,0.05532871736796372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749182371462202,0.0,0.11160739979627596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487612802430323,0.0,0.033489119297568516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511710304163724,0.0,0.13841489632104256,0.0,0.07528286097874358,0.055552640854831636,0.05297214469279035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820227196302025,0.0,0.06539083713953381,0.0,0.07040200246836975,0.0,0.0,0.2219710922449324,0.0,0.1328731052068635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476837982376433,0.0,0.06912947526105695,0.1971764751793616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559850050197026,0.053988290731995466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696894235412085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05630846472407641,0.0,0.0,0.08842135599746384,0.13429862749797306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674673657434893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703946178618689,0.04868847520999258,0.04911052613499277,0.1532476571323479,0.06396771773464964,0.0,0.062154672283756665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05037276655661857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645274526276745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261107817200053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625037841716201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600446352011513,0.05267070657158605,0.0,0.0,0.05277869146959862,0.06029553949148561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628028726109829,0.0,0.0,0.1529669389924058,0.06550559152898983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062423304984292174,0.0,0.0,0.0532351384674721,0.0,0.06097794592929653,0.0,0.0,0.04400190007730001,0.042439082798161235,0.06507305073162738,0.0,0.03862067712276016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204189188372649,0.06469948455769829,0.0,0.07966948834689529,0.0,0.0,0.1092974235550986,0.2343937078051814,0.05257223989151626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964360320919242,0.20178681907857088,0.06749653001565753,0.047049635711715984,0.14482958433867538,0.0,0.1279545884611836
mentalhealth,WhatDaDesignz,2019/02/10,"Why is it that I take such things so personally? I don't know where else to post this, but it's not that important. I have a relatively good life, especially compared to some of the horrible things that happen to people writing in this sub. But I can become overly sensitive (without hurting anyone fortunately).

  
I often play a videogame called Overwatch and sometimes I write something to someone in the public match chat (for example they're so good at the game and I ask them what their rank in the game is). And they are obviously here and they probably saw the message but they just don't anwser. They play, when they die ingame, or after the match in the score screen, they could respond, but they just leave without saying a word, or worse, they might respond to other people's messages but not to mine. The thing is, something so minor makes me sometimes instantly close the game or leave the match because of how angry I get. When someone kills me ingame I can get frustrated pretty easily, because i'm taking that personally too (my own mistake, or just being so close to killing someone else but getting killed first)

It's just a game, so how can one take these things so personally?

​",5.797767857142855,7.337678955357145,5.72625,78.94375000000002,67.48214285714286,8.457142857142857,30.964285714285715,8.841846274778883,2.5665142857142857,962,38,170,16,16,301,123,224,0.202,0.715,0.08199999999999999,-0.9872,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,10,2,19,10,4,0,14,0,13,1,0,3,1,37,25,24,4,2,18,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,16,6,0,0,1,7,0,0,6,6,0,2,1,3,23,4,19,21,2,14,0,1,2,0,28,9,0,7,4,124,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893380822491335,0.13338038825383822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675248373464585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261845748027146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382736233770315,0.12123036241733125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208561386566396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876409826964042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392207042629965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18339450637689436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336878221302483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204807553092236,0.0,0.0,0.18413673101707936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706766440498313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750913765306788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36432677811502256,0.0,0.06032573679413481,0.0,0.0,0.23245736739046294,0.0,0.0,0.0775325320097663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327113164618497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644672286450887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438177901313353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219890956002785,0.28753609754017617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512760116304196,0.11167373059289484,0.11834869451545862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729208530154085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790187409647614,0.16900985963538775,0.21712713026565664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24759609627575335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29170048134874577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990487349650396,0.0,0.0,0.21162527212556528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186318238729047,0.0,0.0,0.13338038825383822,0.0
mentalhealth,mehdi12345,2019/02/10,"My 11 years old brother is self-destructing I really need you're help, my mom is single, she works a loot and we're very poor, my brother always hated school, it's not just the normal hate that any kid has, he just wont do anything related to school, but in the past few years his problem started developping, he would never do homework unless my mom pushes him so hard that he has to do it, and lately when told to study he will get in a mental state (idk if that's the proper name) where he would not respond to you he wouldnt do anything,he will just sit there looking at you with eyes like those of an addict, and he has an addicton to video games, he cant control himself and it's scary, and today he wont study again, he wont eat, he wont shower and wont even put clothes on, he would never do what he is told to do, my mom tries to be patient with him but her life is also fucked, she cant do it anymore, and i think he is self destructing at this point, he is probably gonna suicide or do something reaaly bad, and we cant afford a psychologist+my mom dosent have the time to take him to one, and I genuinely dont know what to do, the only solution i can think of is being passive and letting him do whatever the fuck he wants, cause im not losing my mind too.",12.732444444444447,4.903766744444448,12.08212962962963,68.55208333333336,61.185185185185176,15.129629629629633,44.12037037037037,9.827888789773867,4.200592592592591,991,28,223,11,8,332,144,270,0.154,0.8,0.046,-0.988,2,0,1,0,0,1,28.0,1,2,0,3,12,9,5,0,11,0,40,6,1,2,2,41,56,18,1,9,11,6,1,1,0,12,2,0,2,2,11,13,1,1,3,2,1,2,15,8,0,1,2,3,22,1,20,39,2,23,0,1,2,2,42,7,2,2,13,137,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673731207677493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563499641426675,0.08910242501565817,0.0,0.0,0.07282075830970383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619850444097753,0.0,0.0,0.08812096700212292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941062565073428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100047146510858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010375586149312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255015923018923,0.0,0.0,0.1095736147554624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072793927977687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19799477315946454,0.05594694433586938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592618609086834,0.21144646264292155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177611469329356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566904208658985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588505386304394,0.0,0.12079536025428388,0.0,0.0,0.10950059440237583,0.07563656098768368,0.05231580912647588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992354852006933,0.11979954943878705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791543554863267,0.0,0.10812426366045164,0.5016617137613941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940139233589112,0.16517948806704053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049195352770264,0.0,0.0,0.11236659244314293,0.0,0.0725628561181339,0.08144216963614323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222374741985622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122894568148154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545461006489074,0.10246487849082092,0.0,0.10764894689702484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860072064166818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21674934940650686,0.0,0.0,0.22342382873386235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243845663534906,0.0,0.0,0.07579457122264599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713246126504293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051380390842239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723014306015088,0.0,0.0,0.06244151260104406,0.0,0.1015030639433056,0.20464660710109372,0.0,0.07270297311910788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835547378525077,0.06316088837162206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779583912255371,0.0,0.0,0.22820809784064824,0.0,0.0,0.13791710629281673
mentalhealth,susgunner1,2019/02/10,"Im confused Im gonna keep this short.i don't full understand what's going in in my head. I feel nothing. Litteraly nothing. No emotion, no empathy, no sympathy and curiosity. I had this for as long as I remember. Does anyone know what's going on?",-0.5609999999999999,1.2131589000000034,3.116,81.62800000000003,110.0,6.8000000000000025,27.0,7.554174236665415,2.782,195,11,36,6,10,71,36,50,0.086,0.779,0.136,0.3224,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,7,9,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,4,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,6,7,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166138119172068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20792870865163496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672723227946801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013963323759715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700714589326313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438500734017021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5133058085611045,0.0,0.0,0.211193197109818,0.0,0.0,0.13058084847517049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21027190838125187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4559745570571803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691588158995992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473539616240196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arse9k,2019/02/10,"Disassociation from anxiety? My father passed away on September 2nd, 2017. Three months later, in December, my mother had surgery.

She was diagnosed with hypertension and dyslipidemia post-op, and because of this, we had to purchase a blood pressure machine to track it at home. I started to measure my blood pressure and heart rate pretty much every single day in the months from January - April of 2018. Without being aware of it, I had begun to obsess over my health.

My health anxiety got really bad in April. I went to the hospital several times a month with chest pains, shortness of breath, dizziness, and tachycardia. It got so bad, that I didn't leave my bed for 4+ months (October '18 - present).

I was obsessed with my heart and absolutely convinced that I had some sort of cardiovascular disease, and that I was going to die at any moment. Finally, on January 3rd, at the very beginning of the new year, I guess my brain finally gave in.

I have now been experiencing permanent derealization and depersonalization for over a month, which is driving me to the very edge of insanity.

From what I've gathered through anecdotes and research, disassociation is a protocol which is activated by your brain in order to protect you. It is the brain's natural response to having been over-loaded by fear and anxiety for too long.

Does anyone have a similar story of developing DR/DP from their general anxiety/health anxiety gradually becoming worse over time?

* How do you cope with it?
* What did you do to reverse it?",6.697784442724463,8.31074468014706,7.4762461300309635,66.95962074303408,65.43382352941177,11.16749226006192,36.006965944272444,11.10113133989139,4.571725000000002,1211,59,199,37,19,403,160,272,0.14300000000000002,0.813,0.044,-0.9776,0,0,0,1,0,0,44.0,1,4,1,0,4,9,0,5,11,0,21,13,9,1,0,20,29,11,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,14,14,0,1,0,0,1,4,2,8,0,1,15,1,25,1,47,13,3,42,0,0,0,0,11,15,0,3,22,135,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718224522405012,0.0,0.3231835809881356,0.0,0.0,0.07384911201146406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922964029580428,0.0,0.17636977531274795,0.0643824889474857,0.11664449380296253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537069122170444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811353567534446,0.0,0.0,0.10719794294010217,0.10961265785972313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924252096516769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898597386841223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884728110874905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313941716282769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002396536450191,0.0,0.1689414104079389,0.0,0.11634785108817487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367943754645173,0.0,0.2503107645755532,0.0,0.0,0.10594138640749223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183201719998101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346677205866727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42150812739918064,0.0,0.07763985883799443,0.0,0.0,0.10200452065271458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123827930486892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115086334700002,0.10744936760359296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766026743357345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931593539082005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475549689520802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317099301657575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742884019180118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979070226624083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180998493605001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763165286791697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801319438158049
mentalhealth,Chijibeogeo,2019/02/10,"I recently had a solipsist thought and now my heart is beating so fast and i cant stop it, its been an hour HELP ASAP I have no chill rn

To those unfamiliar with solipsism, its the thought of being the only person in the universe who is truly real/ conscious.

I would say I am a logical person, and I refuted this idea the moment I conceptualized it, but my heart is still beating fast. I need help, i've tried so many ways to calm down, right now I am talking to a friend and she's trying to help me but, what more can I do to calm down??? I've tried... trying to sleep, drinking water, deep breaths, screaming to a pillow, playing games, uh... watching porn, attempting to cut my thigh to make me feel... my heads hurting too. 

I don't believe in solipsism, but it triggered my heartbeat to go rapid; heck even my grammar's getting messde up aaa

​

please suggest help anyway you can",2.717264285714286,4.811882365714286,3.7796249999999993,87.44543750000004,76.77142857142857,5.746428571428572,27.50892857142857,6.6274283507984215,1.2439214285714293,694,29,135,6,16,224,111,175,0.092,0.735,0.173,0.9319,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,3,8,7,1,0,9,0,15,9,6,2,0,20,22,9,0,2,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,2,9,5,2,1,6,3,0,1,3,3,2,0,4,4,21,4,17,16,1,18,0,1,1,1,14,7,1,0,9,88,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532405123844018,0.17185423844661812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934439150203994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854861167452515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341389221238262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151180184687053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092692989302198,0.0,0.07389190016027228,0.0,0.08037854010046018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514908743695215,0.0,0.0,0.33519301342113017,0.379193077567866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928112130974926,0.0,0.15140489262525206,0.15965847040823175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440634184699692,0.14338891316617902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486935121689347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756470686695886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24698432163624334,0.0,0.15524885112888628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609795283503926,0.0,0.0,0.13964612574985671,0.0,0.0,0.12078136663245645,0.0,0.11247166872362016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153321641138086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129470404502057,0.11824271288469725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367694204048485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22456095359882974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840896688706421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122614055139161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046857894611648,0.0,0.17185423844661812,0.0
mentalhealth,xksenia,2019/02/10,"What does a mental breakdown look/feel like? I feel like I'm headed for crash. I've been depressed before and had a sense of impending doom, but this is not it. I'm going through tremendous amount of stress at work and things are a mess on the personal front. I think I'm okay right now and know things will be better but I'm not sure. I want to resign but am waiting for a nightmare of a project that I manage to draw to closure before I do. Friends and family are encouraging me to do this. I just can't. I have to and want to finish this project. But I know the more I get sucked into this, the worse it gets for me. I've been holed up in my office or home office and haven't slept well in 3 weeks. My warning systems are going up and telling me to quit. I'm stalling. I know I'll find another job soon enough and have enough savings to sail me through for a couple of months. Yet, I cannot find the courage to quit. The stress is numbing my judgement of what I want to do and what I need to do. I haven't seen my therapist in a year now. I don't know if I'm heading for a mental breakdown and if I should call her. But mainly, I'm not sure what a mental breakdown feels like.",1.7024656502917352,3.101370660079052,2.9607453416149063,95.29362318840583,77.57707509881423,5.7676642198381325,22.71955580651233,6.18269132825596,0.190626726896292,919,27,216,6,21,297,120,253,0.197,0.7190000000000001,0.084,-0.9749,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,4,6,20,1,2,14,1,23,4,3,0,2,41,49,18,0,7,12,0,2,3,1,2,1,0,1,1,13,11,0,1,9,0,0,3,8,8,1,0,5,3,25,12,31,41,5,21,1,3,1,0,6,9,1,3,11,137,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963885361021916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417336663900264,0.0,0.0,0.1009080069992513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650404176179027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624426181438272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827010107581914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984555205746537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357818562926731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755887970141227,0.0,0.1730700115781484,0.24452908143916466,0.0,0.0,0.20856204545405724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881497335292258,0.0,0.11922015374612703,0.0,0.12968595864879687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341893561108783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444687278994348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322196435408358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25081513733593064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672235780197745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581130307671328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449436328582374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106976729723018,0.0,0.0,0.08460020752082771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962360128271236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24270875797581665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743674928074643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613915250730616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150669101483783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972430732353586,0.0,0.0,0.1324734188222534,0.15159967407467292,0.07310765113468802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188906414265928,0.0,0.09152035484499207,0.0,0.10258536276751563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830627257488166,0.0,0.11627284200874595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347362224887741
mentalhealth,Polishfreak19,2019/02/10,"First psych visit Long story short, I have my first appointment tomorrow with a psychologist to help me with some things. Ironically enough, I work in the mental health field as I work with individuals with autism but I’ve never gone to talk to anyone as I always thought I could just work on my issues on my own and don’t need anybody’s help. My parents mean well but they aren’t helpful and the same could be said for my friends. I’m not exactly sure what to expect from my visit or how to even approach talking to a stranger about my issues. Reddit, if you have gone to a therapist or a counselor, how did you handle your first visit?",4.559523809523808,5.7918847936507944,5.135079365079367,83.18214285714286,70.1111111111111,7.822222222222222,26.698412698412696,8.167268648758528,1.5925460317460316,508,16,100,7,9,163,82,126,0.02,0.852,0.128,0.9254,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,1,6,6,3,0,0,6,0,8,1,0,2,3,26,15,11,0,5,7,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,1,3,5,1,17,3,19,7,4,16,0,0,0,0,15,4,0,4,6,73,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220473680220798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110958247408398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25371289057997337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417029118104284,0.0,0.10494179698703206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4054415450918453,0.0,0.0,0.12275386790628162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688869276428502,0.0,0.0,0.31949104696233865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33166854001483004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406078941898419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730719363227333,0.0,0.0,0.16011833293084288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781093694869288,0.12254161848675267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17642257442944953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113566352575528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497468796693142,0.0,0.0,0.25541088784945937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844772968010042,0.10555588554234163,0.0,0.0,0.12613664544778982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428563600377363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470097000732981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FFS123456789,2019/02/10,"An blog and instagram page Hi guys, hope everyone is well. 

I'm just checking in to talk about an instagram page/blog that I've created to combat stigma against mental illness especially/including serious illnesses such as bipolar, schizophrenia, OCD etc called ""stupidity scares me"". I've just started it so it's still a baby. My aim is to show the public/society how we can be impacted by stigma and how it can make living life with already serious and debilitating illnesses so hard and to also educate.

I'm also looking for contributors to the blog, if you want to tell you story about how stigma has impacted you there is the place to tell it. I'm not a professional blogger or instagrammer by any means, this is just something that I am passionate about. I hope you guys will check it out and happy Sunday!",7.217865497076026,7.66878371052632,8.15324561403509,66.68883040935674,63.868421052631575,12.0187134502924,36.62573099415204,11.645159339076185,4.688295906432749,652,30,110,20,9,221,96,152,0.132,0.755,0.112,-0.309,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,1,4,0,0,17,9,1,1,7,0,10,6,0,4,0,22,20,15,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,8,8,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,9,5,18,18,2,6,0,0,1,1,12,3,0,4,3,75,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996331894490906,0.2893393602853907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302161795452887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18472425310071505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017569187879822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728625003286081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582488257892899,0.0,0.19257675904681404,0.16205536568181125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.359359009735223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277785665132425,0.0,0.0,0.1597424481064957,0.0,0.1519146557648159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075550644177675,0.0,0.0,0.1970586022767568,0.0,0.0,0.18230971211530728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18900724354599727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18111748541770412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926952358587927,0.0,0.0,0.12804550516109026,0.0,0.14447098366303546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454046035286337,0.31623792458620115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670246862681892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265533993268072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,catsandwinters,2019/02/10,"mentally scattered and fearing I will die  

This is my first time posting on one of the darkest places on the internet, and also when I feel like my personal and public life are blowing out of proportion.

I have been focusing on trying to better myself and I have realized that one of the biggest hurdles in me discovering my true potential and worth is the fact that im attached to sadness way to much. Like, I would much rather remain hidden and under the covers, rather than fight and strive for my right to breathe. And because of this, its three years later and its getting really fucking hard to put my foot down and just abandon my past and just fucking put myself together. I could talk to a therapist, but in my college, there is only one therapist and she is the fucking worst shallow, narcisist thing I have ever seen. And very recently there was a suicide in my college, which explains how worthless she is.

I could talk to my friends, they have offered some soft advice but I don't open up to them about it entirely because they're mostly brickwalls, and I dont feel like i can trust them enough. I cant open up to them about this because this is too personal and embarassing. Im second guessing whether I should end my friendships but I also remember that they were there for me sometimes, so you see this is effecting my personal and public life too.

Its been three years and now its the final year of my college and Im panicking that I have not decided on where I want to go, not done something meaningful with my life. While my friends have atleast gotten into the middle of their self-deelopment because they atleast have an idea of where they want to go, I feel like I have barely even started because I feel scatter-brained, absent-minded all the time and wanting to just go with the flow. My parents have seperated and I do not feel like I can let this issue effect my life further. Please tell me Im crazy, tell me I am over analysing, jsut something that would help me get out of this thick fog. Because Im panicking, I have so little time and nothing done at all.",4.9309557628133796,6.304410369727052,5.172583212116027,82.72900744416877,69.37220843672458,8.139265850945495,32.01069564473347,8.53829466247534,2.539024540087277,1661,73,309,26,29,524,195,403,0.103,0.7929999999999999,0.104,-0.3438,1,0,2,0,1,1,34.0,0,1,8,4,23,19,4,1,13,0,38,9,2,3,5,71,60,32,2,10,12,1,8,5,2,4,4,0,0,3,19,28,0,1,13,0,1,6,6,9,0,7,8,10,57,10,43,45,8,52,0,3,2,3,27,27,3,3,22,235,76,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397763899973077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210818498875035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27689285430736776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669545485765656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451134782584536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088789332370685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785694013987555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494413797056553,0.08872520345670705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705178720365979,0.07822306782224785,0.0,0.05000216082977303,0.0684791264046704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518869916040209,0.1913925505343675,0.21633346713141066,0.0,0.08293066652603717,0.0,0.06439427672229685,0.0,0.0,0.11697834078989693,0.2099629918202222,0.07910503648496305,0.0,0.1290739715746309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339712942394055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781643341436637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074318391256291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854612555596921,0.4088696846207405,0.07901591242070541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741306176905505,0.2138895336484644,0.1849271679989209,0.07587587705200913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629241031571532,0.0,0.07644004443229331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113031533528131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264058587673584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389814713253122,0.057576744154293126,0.0,0.0,0.0840609765974756,0.0,0.0722685873667359,0.0,0.1983069564986629,0.07909517276914636,0.08310089472703779,0.0,0.0,0.07250406056490076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522080244585832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048498292209452364,0.0,0.07474913927281422,0.0,0.08575853094532866,0.06465129732379694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060326748425219776,0.0,0.07897638706369428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656216791311548,0.07487376497181332,0.0,0.0535840910804264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280852271679974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169694686571784,0.13233827874546328,0.0,0.0,0.17579770365901876,0.050294758780140766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243184747039988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139844015989499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062464206583551986,0.1339575674338444,0.06009077151737738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755672253503527,0.0,0.0,0.14625380154406953
mentalhealth,rjj54hrjjr,2019/02/10,"The only thing that keeps me from being violent and manipulative is a fear of judgement. I idolize crime in my head, I enjoy thinking of scams and similar things. I find myself doing small stuff like stealing pens from other students, stealing food, constantly cheating in board games, little stuff like that. That being said deep down I have a desire to not just do very very small insignificant stuff like that. Although I tried to tell myself I wasn't, I was physically and developmentally (to increase my lacking socialization skills and to learn what girls like ig) using her. The only thing that really stops me from being even more of an asshole is real of judgement, and since I've been working out and doing more that's going away. I'm not scared but I dont want to be a bad person as I dont feel that's a way to be successful, and I'm becoming that as I become more confident. The reason I post this here is because I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety which may have something to do with it. Some people suggested maybe ASPD but i doubt that because I have a lot of emotion (albeit all of it directed inwards) and I have pretty bad anxiety, which really isn't really a correlating trait from what I've read. What should I do to prevent myself from being this bad person? Deep down I'm not even sure if im legitimately asking that cause I don't want to be a bad person or not",6.996151960784314,6.7354615073529445,7.706999999999997,72.10466666666667,64.44117647058823,10.488627450980392,32.10392156862745,10.047579312681364,3.0934742156862747,1118,38,203,22,15,374,139,272,0.194,0.703,0.103,-0.9786,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,4,19,2,3,11,0,30,3,1,4,2,44,42,16,0,6,9,0,1,4,0,2,1,1,0,4,26,12,1,3,5,2,0,2,9,12,0,0,5,2,25,7,30,28,8,17,0,1,0,0,11,11,0,6,6,151,51,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638784554953436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555689404111507,0.0,0.0960340226014501,0.0,0.3413798324393055,0.12461819634313202,0.225776087080748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500259555787167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045771758902703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803732297513607,0.10374571191077887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395896026846233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497771662116205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350236165130185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501989169864085,0.0516827951391521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342233270843717,0.0,0.12359835307830674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809093763979881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490171351999238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040935548360838,0.0,0.0,0.09085307193690914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997476477045137,0.10244592589245832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689923497468348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102688348333572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547768523892294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086276402467302,0.2677496532329445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789337407517258,0.10398903962762096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022423045885858,0.11634264233959808,0.1964439546258445,0.10509367770712932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722953322337292,0.0,0.10233468998696084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455300965327357,0.0,0.0,0.10419495721584658,0.0,0.07868982659473006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545601913098518,0.0,0.0,0.3510339377217136,0.0,0.0,0.09633609217206927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934010402146797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20372060255346736,0.06549501653541932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939703363164128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828063392984245,0.0,0.16867557192659374,0.12057769047075748,0.08113322659150575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441347809647364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,katrina_lebowitz,2019/02/10,"I can't keep the panic down. So I've been dealing with panic attacks and anxiety for the past 4 years. It mainly started with my break up then eventual patching up with my partner of 7 years. He was my best friend but when we got back together I was extremely depressed. Eventually we broke up and I moved back to a city where most of my friends were.
Things were okay for a bit, then my anxiety started seeping into my sleep and I began sleep walking  again for the first time since I was a kid. It's a really foreboding feeling, knowing you were up but not being able to recognize anyone or anything. Most of the time this happens I'm drunk, so I began cutting back on drinking.
Then I started to see someone from work, someone I really like. I know relationships shouldn't validate your existence and no one person can cure you of anxiety, but it went away for a while and talking and being around the person kept the panic at bay. It was really nice
He broke things off, for good reasons on his end. He's a little younger than me and had only started seeing me after about a week after his ex cheated on him so I get that he needs time to be alone. But I hear him going out and getting so drunk he falls over and all I can think about is helping and taking care of him. We still talk and see each other but I miss the affection. And in worry  lot about him.
Fast forward to a few nights ago, slept with a mutual friend of ours, I was drunk as hell. Now he's feeling guilty and I feel guilty.
Basically, my panic is starting to take over, it's been a whole day since then and I have only been able to keep down water and yogurt. I recognize that I probably need to quit drinking, at least till I get my mental health under control. I really wish I had insurance so I could see a doctor, I've never been diagnosed with anything, but this feeling of panic and intense fear has got to stop. I dont feel alive and just want to be unconscious, I'm not suicidal, I just want dreamless sleep

Thanks, just needed to rant. ",3.5235913978494615,4.931241195061733,4.714050179211473,84.53451612903228,72.85185185185185,7.69494225408204,26.64476304261251,8.259297600419973,1.7137821585025883,1584,55,316,25,31,522,206,405,0.165,0.6679999999999999,0.16699999999999998,0.0296,0,1,2,0,0,0,37.0,4,3,0,5,20,24,4,6,18,1,28,13,4,3,2,69,73,37,1,8,12,1,5,1,4,1,3,1,0,4,12,29,6,5,9,5,0,6,7,14,0,2,21,10,47,10,57,46,11,66,1,4,4,0,33,23,1,4,39,223,59,2,0.1458114299266114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462651743584506,0.0,0.0,0.0755083334887665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673180171856352,0.0,0.0,0.050977371044649514,0.0,0.11999038289059838,0.06490154322650933,0.0,0.08294077578150258,0.06849731911740609,0.16817998381669946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651004992881834,0.0,0.07959415832530294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433223531628444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176995863011992,0.05820928100618057,0.0,0.0,0.04701815481201706,0.07516259084796684,0.06279358546810458,0.07399776603451155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462208854460035,0.0,0.0,0.0854449549635619,0.14283969033694535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457282389483157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203919832899226,0.1843166002853956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201356390388608,0.0,0.0,0.16898032359061385,0.0,0.1142706809877308,0.0,0.04143399792650728,0.061149854723002925,0.1166187206399312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447028296723008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749536578106479,0.08217003938961437,0.0,0.048867163953388734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960389854928658,0.0,0.0,0.0801341485893392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03561804972116383,0.07307067941177645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619818317287635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347181307584934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748723713753382,0.0,0.1621759915809936,0.0562293818744628,0.0,0.0,0.06841707472448648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940279927386935,0.11089616297386372,0.0,0.4276957404781076,0.0,0.0,0.06959675438607517,0.0,0.1273169164028811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860469159307587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754420200531431,0.0,0.0,0.1868210714520742,0.0749592174119588,0.0,0.0782734536684284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23238566276407344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061672160903407,0.0,0.21887509979622607,0.0,0.12354555140084307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580152014734167,0.0,0.05822259814584719,0.06095244221114054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974701909349276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963204884845873,0.11719770413621065,0.0,0.06712178714649353,0.0,0.0,0.09687063498184584,0.046715038344740376,0.0,0.0,0.12753572606199787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600335921459754,0.0,0.05848056693862889,0.0,0.0,0.06758432818208708,0.0,0.08139662714335015,0.083837974201054,0.0,0.0,0.05307622879616102,0.07403929247285754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389778025722163
mentalhealth,bostongirl111,2019/02/10,"How did you convince someone who needs help to get help? I need some help.
My (20F) boyfriend (20M) shows many signs of depression/mental illness. He’s unmotivated to do work or socialize, unmotivated to keep his room clean, tells me he’s stressed all the time and feels worried he won’t succeed and I’m worried about him. He also drinks fairly regularly, equating to about 10+ drinks a week. I’m worried about him, and want him to get some help.

However, he is extremely against getting any help. He refuses to even mention it to a doctor or even his parents. I don’t want to push him because he’s very against it, but I know the benefits of seeking help outweigh the negatives.

Please help! ",3.922700135685208,5.816347253731344,4.747476255088195,82.72269335142471,72.73134328358209,7.857801899592943,33.077340569877876,8.575989854853784,2.729262686567165,548,28,106,10,11,177,83,134,0.084,0.698,0.219,0.9516,2,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,8,4,0,1,5,0,5,4,0,1,1,19,17,8,0,4,3,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,3,3,2,2,2,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,12,3,15,15,3,4,0,0,0,0,27,1,0,4,2,54,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658906428756874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063930418579894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812501358267362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642425053448462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26113980566422645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17606878455041144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739359496744822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20890988601181945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6253733235932685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118471052410749,0.0,0.0,0.07325070482974766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351314620408626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19766031334364093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799874377454275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463084123449436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586867206676712,0.11293311126407266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267908987869122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649816478697685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772035592374828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997521655627347,0.15723151218538933,0.0,0.10691428866488764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703406693562784,0.4060763447947204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TantamountWings,2019/02/10,"I think my social anxiety is turning into hypochondria I have had horrible social anxiety since I was a kid but with my job and forcing myself to go out and meet new people it has really got a lot better the last couple of years. The thing is I feel like the anxiety hasn’t really gone away it’s just getting moved into other areas in my life. Like I worry about making mistakes at work or if I’ve locked my door etc. Recently I’ve also started worrying about my health a lot, maybe it’s partly just getting older but when I changed my birth control it messed up my cycle a bit and I got really paranoid I was pregnant even though I was pretty sure I knew what was causing it and took 2 negative tests. Then the last week I’ve been sick with a bad cold and last night I was feeling a bit feverish and sick and I started freaking out in case I had a rare illness I’d read something about that day. Like it was very much like when I used to get bad nightmares when I was younger I woke up really scared and couldn’t calm myself down enough to go back to sleep even though I knew I was being pretty irrational. Anyway this morning I’m still feeling a little freaked out and I don’t know want this to become a pattern. Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do to help you feel more secure about your health when it’s so out of your control?",3.746847826086957,4.8715685398550725,4.755768115942028,85.54539130434785,71.93478260869566,7.404057971014493,26.118840579710145,7.7348632917899725,1.3823962318840577,1071,34,216,13,20,350,150,276,0.206,0.653,0.141,-0.9693,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,4,0,4,19,15,0,1,13,0,22,7,1,5,1,42,47,22,0,4,6,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,1,1,15,17,0,3,8,1,0,5,4,7,0,0,19,6,32,8,27,26,9,40,0,0,0,0,9,15,0,4,24,146,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684628889204377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205348026405443,0.0,0.0,0.06719111696137625,0.0984595971197301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028341960449933,0.07389030813490897,0.16046885167218902,0.0,0.10612820672506827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498728070857066,0.2098193881670972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871494640660528,0.10165464664288508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21555504890321125,0.0,0.10632611658601918,0.0,0.061972641478809994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027415614748007,0.0,0.0,0.09929072728035324,0.10717014409555073,0.12693828182906688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943519329288614,0.06864952975050967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506153521486589,0.0,0.10922480087954924,0.0,0.15371020391656906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20428672877616647,0.0,0.0,0.06440974223419699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953584076534945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052810716207301565,0.23498815912539855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787399147355934,0.18778658025771386,0.09631137240293623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633912624297561,0.0,0.0,0.06414345095791223,0.0,0.09653927837188066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213265036680216,0.07064010241908666,0.0,0.0,0.0928081257998296,0.0,0.09017765286369517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040603724520141,0.0,0.06661943846011059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955241662203921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611994412449963,0.0,0.24624095369279456,0.0,0.0948811726336721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620679740275333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948989996004302,0.0,0.0961633376337394,0.19591134033885796,0.0,0.07397780953674253,0.0,0.0,0.1360315702810884,0.0,0.0767407444057166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056740097959118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384054367463449,0.061573116481966436,0.18882361579732376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676390280537602,0.0,0.10452261236734638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299431076751351,0.0,0.0792875640567389,0.056678695366596366,0.0,0.07708076216208537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995753260379102,0.19517612063297876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188134662878793
mentalhealth,lilghostpepper,2019/02/10,"Had a breakdown last night 6 months ago I got a boyfriend and he really helped to get me off drugs of alcohol. Now were broken up due to long distance and I've been really afraid that I would fall back into old habits. Last night i ended up drinking a lot. I hit myself with various objects until I bruised. Then I kinda just passed out. I'm frustrated and I want to be able to be alive and comfortable by myself, and it was going fine but then I really just started to deteriorate these past few days. I'm 20, I want desperately to get this under control but I don't know what I need. Right now I'm just focused on getting good grades and losing weight, so even if I'm incredibly unhappy this semester I didn't completely fuck myself over. I'm also a little worried because my friends and my mom say that I really dont need to lose any more weight but I look in the mirror and it feels like I'm getting fatter. I dont want this for myself. ",2.0462600229095083,4.0338246340206245,4.001993127147767,85.56668957617414,78.43298969072166,7.197709049255441,23.14891179839633,8.167268648758528,1.3490547537227957,745,24,153,14,18,253,121,194,0.091,0.7490000000000001,0.16,0.8882,0,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,9,10,2,1,5,0,11,6,0,1,0,29,34,17,0,7,7,1,3,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,9,11,4,1,2,1,0,3,4,5,0,0,6,5,22,5,21,24,4,33,0,2,1,1,5,11,1,3,20,95,31,1,0.12339383321241645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938118798494266,0.13187048124312456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986780038390054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391203793928208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488224109358057,0.0,0.07521973542613658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937608645729842,0.0,0.13839667633833067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957881430488266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892333070712714,0.12087898002523798,0.14309767157711234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929031099611214,0.0,0.0,0.08150046308184365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623916296420461,0.08815257910220398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533376944827522,0.11407561046314045,0.2578727398433469,0.0,0.07012755902661852,0.10349689291781122,0.09868932066115617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270828537191056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781402370602012,0.20116488644730252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028399404432045,0.12367303760196012,0.0,0.1091996594155052,0.10361974236740988,0.27609227288908417,0.0,0.10490502439196324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445173661155829,0.0984917804243131,0.0,0.0,0.1829899276188468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315935070846996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948107087948846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779337610451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161969969422123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537765935095346,0.0,0.0981277288363291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733879025232244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183426395579868,0.0,0.0,0.3005208927210213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531242730641012,0.0,0.0876554387720701,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Marvellover13,2019/02/10,"I don't have a word to describe what I'm feeling like I feel hopeless, and depressed.
I'm at highschool, final year.
I've got a mark at a test of literature of 53 which means fail, and it's just hit me like a 10 thousands ton punch in the guts.
I feel like someone switched off my emotions except pain, suffering, loneliness, and all the other bad emotions.

What to do to still being able to get up from my chair?
I just wanna fade out of existence.",4.2063405797101465,4.702500576086958,5.1400000000000015,85.52166666666669,70.41304347826087,7.872463768115942,30.55072463768116,7.793537801064563,1.8735159420289853,351,14,74,4,6,115,65,92,0.226,0.6829999999999999,0.09,-0.9382,0,0,0,0,1,1,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,6,0,4,2,1,0,1,14,13,3,0,1,3,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,1,3,7,3,16,10,2,10,0,4,0,0,0,6,0,0,7,47,12,3,0.22253757802243276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580958224788746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916712898632139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5006496450722218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3375650578626268,0.3179617804086731,0.0,0.2437790391726967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626669961690768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17798363033917808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32616185944352144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424086615929309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23679567308172897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18855536769667094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777187972722232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330690406535207
mentalhealth,TerribleGravity,2019/02/10,"I can't relax I'm asking for some advice because this is pretty heavy: does any of you get the feeling that you just HAVE to do something, all the time, and even when you do, you feel frustrated and like you're wasting your time?

I firmly believe that life should be taken slowly and calmly, in theory, but in practice, I'm the opposite. I'm impatient, and I always think I'm not doing enough, or I should be doing something else, or that whatever I'm doing has to be done QUICKLY. 
When I am relaxing, I never manage to really relax. 
I end up feeling constantly tired, and that means that when I do stuff, anything, like school or gym or whatever, I feel tired, but I don't want to. I want to do these things. 

I'm also facing the ""issue"" in therapy and it seems like I push myself too much, which is probably true, but my parents always thought you should just DO a lot of stuff, and letting it go will be most likely pretty hard.
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mentalhealth,Voidmaster3001,2019/02/10,Is this brain fog? So basically I forget a lot of things like I can’t remember what I did yesterday or like when I read a book the next day I don’t remember where I left off and only remember a few things and most of the time I don’t have thoughts on my mind it’s just blank.,1.1790322580645167,2.297767225806453,3.5201935483870948,91.91029032258066,78.35483870967742,8.185806451612903,22.07741935483871,8.841846274778883,1.11311870967742,216,6,55,5,5,75,44,62,0.042,0.862,0.096,0.4256,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,6,1,1,0,0,12,7,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,8,2,4,5,3,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,7,38,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351622988010949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585600175426146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22887888076384624,0.0,0.0,0.205832229901334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909260526580814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127029923389595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22403555522084925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021374479446285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21071348559610056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7158981769099452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799016084031114,0.0,0.0,0.1672377137381275,0.12283548693678513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dubberducker,2019/02/10,"just a benzo fueled sappy ""feel sorry for me"" vent ill preface this by saying im 18, im a female, i just took a non prescription xanax to help with the anxiety im having right now (i dont abuse them anymore) and im feeling very depressed 

​

im really sorry. i dont know exactly what im sorry for, but im sorry im me. 

i want to change and do better but i dont know how. for as long as i can remember its been this way. 

i hated school so much. i felt like an outsider. i remember in 1st grade we had free time to draw whatever we wanted. i drew myself crying and i took it home with me. my mum questioning me on it and made the assumption i was getting bullied. 

she transferred me to a different school. i was teased by the other girls there. i used to hide under my bed every day before school, mum would call dad over and they would physically force me to attend. i pretended to be sick every day, i would try and force myself to vomit. sometimes i could.

my mum transferred me again but the bullying just got worst and my lying to evade school did too. i developed insomnia and mum couldn't handle it. she'd lock her door at night so i couldn't get in. i used to sleep next to her door and cry myself to sleep.

i cant really blame her for being so distant and cold to me. her dad was murdered when i was 7 weeks old. i dont think she was able to develop a connection with me.

my main bully lived with us, because his mum was my mums bestfriend needed help so he came to live with us for awhile. he sexually and physically abused me. 

my school counselor told my mum that he couldn't see anything happening to me or any real problem with my mental health.

so much happened to me that you guys don't know, but i know im sorry i need to stop making excuses. i fucking know im just searching for attention. i think it might be because no one validated my feelings as a kid. 

high school was a fresh start, i wasn't bullied there. i was actually pretty popular, but my hate for school never left. this made my mum resent me because we always argued about it. thats when i started abusing valium. 

i overdosed multiple times but no one knew, they just thought i was sick. as a vomited everywhere at school. but mum wouldn't let me come home, because i was ""lying"" just like i did when i was a kid. passing out on my desk but i was just ""tired"" from staying up too late.

she made me stay with dad sometimes, who was even more depressed than i was. i watched him cut himself. i watched him abuse drugs. i was so sad. i wanted to make him better.

mum laughed at me when i told her i was suicidal. 

when i was 15 years old i overdosed. i didnt want to die, i wanted everyone to understand the pain i was in. it was 5 days before christmas. everyone was angry that i had ruined christmas. i spent 3 days in hospital when i was let out on christmas eve. dad didnt even get out of his car to come see me and wish me merry christmas, he drove back to his house with my brothers because i wasnt stable enough to leave home yet.

i stopped using valium after that.

i was raped that year too. but thats one thing i dont like to describe in detail.

i dropped out of school. i couldn't do it, i couldn't face the world.

i tried to study, i tried to work. but i couldnt do it. i barely completed my two certificates with a less than 50% attendance rate and dropped out of my third. i quit 2 jobs. i just couldn't do it and im sorry. i know you all want me to be better but i just don't know how.

then 2 years after that when i was 17 my step dad who i thought the world of admitted to having sexual feelings for me. it ruined me, more than anything previously to that.

i guess thats when all the drug taking really kicked in, it makes you feel the best for the few hours you're high, but when you come down its just so sad realising how shitty life really is. watching everyone around you who is also using come down too, remembering things arent really as good as they seem when you're high.

im really sorry to everyone, to my boyfriend who told me that i need to stop making excuses. thats all im doing right now isn't it? im just making excuses. because i just don't want to live, i dont want to work, i don't want to study, but i dont want to hide in my bedroom anymore either. i don't really want to die either, im just existing. and its painful. 

mum keeps telling me im a burden. she says ill end up like dad.

i know other people have it worse than me, i know that. im just weak and i can admit that. i want sympathy, i want someone who will tell me that my feelings are justified. but what would that even achieve? 

so im just fucking sorry. i feel like an inconvenience on everyone. how am i supposed to break out of that? ive seen 5 psychologists now. 2 psychiatrists. im going to get a referral for my 3rd psychologist on tuesday. 

im just fucking sorry. im sorry for feeling bad for myself. sorry for self-loathing. sorry i couldn't give my life to someone more deserving. 

​

im so so sorry. i just cant see myself living in this world. maybe its not for me?

i really wanted to do something great with me life, but i cant handle life so i dont think thats going to happen.",0.5140950184923092,2.6949044668508293,2.7744189763024534,91.15720948815122,85.36279926335175,5.947357046101398,20.393254493706525,7.283824563475551,0.597183090574251,4025,124,880,64,121,1368,373,1086,0.189,0.7040000000000001,0.107,-0.9985,3,0,3,0,3,2,134.0,5,5,4,8,60,38,11,0,24,0,89,26,3,16,5,171,184,65,4,33,36,18,9,5,0,7,19,2,7,4,50,41,0,4,33,1,2,15,35,24,0,5,49,19,173,15,117,112,16,104,0,6,7,4,81,38,3,5,50,567,223,18,0.02585285595792069,0.1225256272793808,0.025228658095624117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020674519569169585,0.021511647186100533,0.05602311725839588,0.06282809944994168,0.017580828583592008,0.0,0.019777364045430804,0.0,0.0512781724812625,0.0,0.0,0.04254939529456246,0.02301452292630572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01987925043007913,0.021586054850349,0.09455796620648953,0.0,0.043997752534750925,0.0,0.027130977333376584,0.06859425055417752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026398656455616704,0.029568779936449283,0.0,0.0,0.027348893637112785,0.08907978495775501,0.0271062276007118,0.0,0.0,0.020641401816364285,0.0,0.05679629662636605,0.06669181335779206,0.0,0.04453405390799233,0.0,0.053662365689513915,0.02701073197612808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24239483712527066,0.0,0.059962210345284414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022897956844528368,0.02671291110854512,0.0,0.05122670260834525,0.0,0.043564292338165264,0.1235175588379789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457584610984888,0.018469285461983412,0.02482279598881078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170164623718038,0.0540282008029358,0.02480041517259757,0.029385547640371355,0.021684148997060868,0.020676890612886672,0.0285028649622067,0.02847983551440233,0.025598391978565088,0.06858478542966394,0.0,0.0,0.05104868585029178,0.0,0.027480376949222948,0.0,0.0,0.034657248787558416,0.08194488521949089,0.0777975673164738,0.0,0.025459855457293547,0.029830724704556305,0.0,0.0,0.6143614577520284,0.0,0.025654970377120445,0.02297920624237815,0.0,0.0,0.1278724817149217,0.0,0.02916314759167805,0.02737444160172356,0.028089203642716453,0.052872593603109225,0.07304254689144984,0.06315199771422372,0.0,0.09131418182848748,0.022878963980827033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338779220987167,0.08628491051314298,0.0,0.025972668669750183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02605359814896851,0.027425794678404038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03800964759360703,0.05750869533734945,0.019939316292763364,0.0,0.027494805605504883,0.024261153996016516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054256446818736134,0.0,0.052555692822774384,0.0,0.05501852300220245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01792311514308202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02630164877869325,0.0,0.024737691647268342,0.0,0.0,0.028961115376907837,0.027497694602190027,0.0,0.02942620999058112,0.1324960122148396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785873826174935,0.044156395460918416,0.0,0.04111845743079233,0.0,0.23548023402770504,0.06180413705375502,0.023535469098726503,0.026970167062490103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051743053162616605,0.0,0.04381008191491522,0.01990279157267196,0.05113827119639741,0.3762220233252026,0.03659756902187125,0.05511140923840705,0.0,0.06484243558524393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02827882832964866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019438130252734408,0.0,0.0451930712359504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03435097747821908,0.04969639861579465,0.0,0.041048559677111233,0.03015001642444778,0.02971405481488319,0.0,0.07411053530278733,0.05744694843837012,0.05265717650818015,0.0,0.025254483703993844,0.02691373480213013,0.062195605078365176,0.08931426757657526,0.0,0.02133131369539111,0.2134815797573574,0.02052079370800455,0.02073760162921197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02972950847426192,0.0,0.0,0.03764237408678931,0.0,0.02634626889239619,0.0734605084713305,0.0,0.06282809944994168,0.0499451748531698
mentalhealth,crudknuckles,2019/02/10,"Needing advice one how to manage anxiety after nights out. Hi All,

So recently I did dry January and I've now noticed every time I have even a few drinks I'm waking up the next day with quite intense anxiety. I'm not sure if it may be linked a little to having seasonal depression. I'm from Australia but live in Wales and do find the winter here a bit intense.

​

I know that the obvious answer here would be to just stop drinking, and I truly am considering it, but I do enjoy going out with girls and having the occasional beer at home. I wouldn't consider my alcohol consumption to be excessive. I just want to be able to enjoy it without worrying about how I'm going to be the next day.  


If anyone experiences this I would really appreciate how you've coped and managed or just any advice in general.  


Thank you.

  
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mentalhealth,Kavenna,2019/02/10,"Speech/Thought disorder of some kind Hello, I have this thing with mainly speech since I was a kid where the order of my words are messed up, like today I said \[this cool is dude though\] instead of \[This dude is cool though\] sometime reversed words and letters as well. It was way worse harder to control as a child but I now try to take sometime and think about my words so I don't do this but even then somehow it still happens.

I'd like to know what is the medical term for this if there are any and any advice would be appreciated as well. ",3.22138383838384,4.923650209090912,3.3366666666666696,92.90944444444445,74.18181818181819,5.9797979797979774,24.949494949494948,6.42735559955562,0.5823737373737372,433,14,93,3,9,132,74,110,0.049,0.782,0.168,0.9109,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,13,8,0,0,4,2,12,1,0,1,0,16,17,13,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,2,9,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,3,4,7,7,13,12,3,9,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,7,66,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821992020543769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535881554100405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091223066999792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136906914818208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315010221145907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487930914448795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19416156212904231,0.10246940489626688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821825238175104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783125421489824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735900227907694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15423541525542195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36881253354736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890118853307827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018905798363412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387074041782227,0.11947121827980994,0.3663772228568636,0.14802243934726445,0.0,0.0,0.1767351463464522,0.0,0.0,0.12658899243873664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799729714728907,0.0,0.0,0.3352863367182137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190011002570012,0.1324504896779604,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phineas-mcclintock47,2019/02/10,"Feeling empty, looking to put a name to it Hey folks,

So this is a long time coming and I really haven’t told this to anyone, at least not with this level of detail, but I’ve gotten to the point where I want to be able to at least name my demons or have an idea of where I can start looking for those names. I’d seek a professional opinion but where I’m located (rural Nova Scotia, Canada) mental health services are difficult to come by, like 6 months to a year long waiting list if you’re lucky. 

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been able to compartmentalize my emotions, put them aside, and keep it to myself. I don’t know if this is something I was born with or if it developed as a response to the relentless bullying I experienced throughout my early life but at this point it’s a subconscious reaction that I don’t even realize is happening until afterward when I realize that a situation that should have made me angry or sad didn’t. 

Since I was about 18 or so I’ve noticed that this reaction had become less and less necessary as I just don’t feel anything, now it’s at the point where I’m conscious of what I _should_ be feeling, what most people would feel, but it’s just not there anymore. 

I’m also very empathetic, I can pick up on other people’s emotions very easily. With this I’ve found that without even thinking about it I leverage this to best suit my needs. 

For example: I’m on a date with a girl and she opens up about something I sympathize, console, then while staying on topic slowly guide the conversation in a way where I appear to be exactly what she needs to move on from whatever hurt her. 

Another example: I start a new job and as I’m getting to know my new coworkers I keep my conversation neutral until I pick up on their personality then I start to mimic and in a very short amount of time I’m getting along with everyone. (I actually did this once and within 6 months I went from entry level with no idea to what I was doing to regional manager) 

I seem to have this tendency to make myself a blank slate and project onto myself a personality that the other person wants to see. Lately I’ve been much more aware of this and am starting to realize it’s why I have very few meaningful relationships in my life, and it’s also likely why I’ve never settled down into a serious romantic relationship. It’s not uncommon for me to be messaging 3-4 women simultaneously, picking up on their emotional vulnerabilities, and using that to work towards casual sex that I can walk away from without any personal attachment. Just writing that makes me feel like a fucking predator but I don’t have a malicious bone in my body and would never physically harm anybody, I’ve just become more aware of my habits and am realizing that my behaviour isn’t healthy for anyone involved. I know these things cause untold emotional scars on people so that’s why I’d like to put a name to whatever this may be so I can work towards becoming a less terrible human being and maybe even start building some real relationships in my life rather than just using people and moving on. 

This wasn’t an easy thing for me to type out because it meant taking a long, uncomfortable look at myself in the mirror but I’m tired of this veneer I’ve been wearing as skin and would like to actually look the real me in the eyes for once. Thanks everyone. 
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mentalhealth,JackTCG93,2019/02/10,"Depression & Racing Thoughts : Medication My doctor prescribed me 10mg of Lexapro as I told him I've been suffering with depression and a racing mind.

​

It's been 6 weeks now and whilst my depression has definitely improved , I'm still struggling with racing thoughts (Can't concentrate on college work, major panic attacks in public, etc ,...) 

​

Should I give it more time or go and see my doctor now?",7.546891891891898,9.136129635135132,6.9252432432432425,71.77245945945947,63.45945945945946,9.703783783783782,37.77297297297297,9.888512548439397,4.1117221621621605,339,17,52,7,5,105,56,74,0.27,0.6629999999999999,0.067,-0.9545,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,2,1,0,5,3,0,0,0,10,12,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,7,0,0,5,1,7,0,6,6,3,9,0,4,1,0,4,2,0,1,6,30,9,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4703947234774909,0.3516882305454897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646337833233681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37392749633620703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962431118067451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139506605058102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882345964950965,0.08224465918698093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578476498798282,0.0,0.0,0.14612052281051735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697914378126754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531882385494326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556929046478336,0.0,0.0,0.15128715220558214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22977450290035134,0.08438426452545937,0.0,0.0,0.13828103058771593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608134714540685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535397419320328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516882305454897,0.0
mentalhealth,juggachiggawugga,2019/02/10,"Trapped Pardon the text wall, right now I'm just in such a state that I've got to get this out in a public fashion. Maybe someone out there can provide some guidance, otherwise I may just have to give up.

I do not know how else to put it except that when it all boils down, I feel trapped by life. Work, family - everything to this point. 
My real father committed suicide 4 months before I was born, my mom was 41 and the rest of my siblings were already out of the house. Mom remarried a Christian minister when I was seven. Extremely religious family, very strict and isolated upbringing. Homeschooled. Forbidden from dating. I wasn’t encouraged or helped to look into higher education (despite wanting to pursue). 

I was the odd one out in my family, once I was of an age to start thinking for myself and form my own views and ideas. I am not religious whatsoever. In fact, due to the position of my immediate family it was always blatantly obvious the hypocrisy of it all, which made me want to further distance myself.

That being the case, I threw myself into work. It was all I had, first the early odd fast food jobs – due to high work ethic quickly becoming managerial. I met people who introduced me to alcohol and partying. I had friends! We partied and had amazing times together. Probably during this time, I started to rely on alcohol for coping with things because I wasn’t otherwise equipped due to my upbringing.

Finally was able to get into a career in IT after a couple years once getting some certifications. After a particularly bad experience at my first long term job (6+ years), I was fired for no fault of my own. Drinking continued…

A friend got me a job for a company doing outsourced IT, I crushed it – quickly gaining responsibility and trust due to my work ethic. All the while, not realizing that as time went on I had to compromise myself. Boss telling half-truths to clients, not able to talk plainly about things occurring, underhanded business practices. Coupled with the insane stress of the job, and becoming practically on call 24/7 365 – I start to turn more to drinking as a coping mechanism because I didn’t know what else to do.

After having tried to adjust in order to better things actively since late 2011, early 2012 things have only gotten worse. I drank a lot in the past to cope; it was my ""reset"" button: reach the end of my capability to deal, get drunk as hell/recover over weekend and face the next week.

I've always hated myself and my life for as long as I can remember. Part of that was my self-image, being an obese individual and having gone through many different things to try to lose weight - I tried another, Medifast. Great success after 10-11 months - went from 293 lbs. to 192.

Opened up more socially, started actually having good interactions but it fell apart. During this time, this was the first I tried medication - Dr. prescribed Pristiq, which seemed to help a lot except for ratcheting my anger to insane levels. After a particularly bad incident with a coworker due to it, I quit cold turkey.

Things spiraled more out of control near after. Step-dad got very ill, and I dealt with some severe pain/ability to get around during that time. He passed away about 6-8 months later, and things go more downhill from there. While my step-dad and I didn't have a great relationship when I was growing up, there was mutual respect and our relationship improved after I was out of the house. He had involved me in his wishes for after his death. He had a will so I assumed all was accounted for there as well. Once all that started to go through the process, unfortunately realized some of those things he had only expressed to me verbally so his real children paid that no mind.

My mother suffered during this and due to this as well; in turn it hurt me more. I also had to deal with my own sister acting like a petulant child during this time due to some severe offense she had with my mom and step-dad (she is like 20+ years older than I).

I began to drink more; I didn't know what else to do. Obviously, this started to take more of a toll on me physically and mentally. All the progress in weight loss began to poof away. As I was already a person with low self-esteem/confidence and self-loathing, this obviously did not improve.

Here I sit now, some 8 years later... after a bad drinking binge in April 2018 I decided I needed to truly give a real try to improving my life and I would only be able to really do this completely sober. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since, 306 days now.

Having tried more therapy with no success, and again tried medication route (which left me even worse off again, and with even less respect for majority of the medical profession as my experience is they don't care/give a shit and just want paid). 

I sit on the precipice now, my career has had me trapped since I started; I've just been used and abused due to my work ethic - I'm completely burnt out. My family has me trapped, my siblings are distant and my sister causes me much grief. My mother is worsening with dementia and I don't know how to handle this, I have to limit my interactions because it hurts me.

My life has been a ridiculous shitfest from the get go. I want to die so badly, but I haven't been able to take my own life. I'm so tired and I'm reaching the breaking point. I don't know what will happen and it scares the fuck out of me. I wish I could just cease to be, have never existed.

I was an accident anyway, why do I have to continue living in this miserable caged existence?",5.413515108593013,6.517631242681773,6.258431303116144,76.38989435788481,68.01794145420209,9.509395656279509,30.572355996222853,9.725611199111238,2.9163863078375822,4382,168,803,96,72,1446,442,1059,0.152,0.764,0.084,-0.9981,5,4,7,0,1,2,141.0,2,0,1,18,37,38,6,3,50,0,79,28,2,7,14,126,140,52,4,9,15,8,4,2,2,4,15,0,0,3,51,52,14,2,15,6,3,12,19,21,2,5,54,7,107,17,155,77,34,146,1,8,2,1,45,50,2,12,80,555,158,16,0.2214649734000161,0.05247995585171472,0.043223573466386736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200722285925646,0.0,0.0,0.09775684208893824,0.03542109184298036,0.07371063962317381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04644506689933367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03943015592539815,0.0,0.0,0.08322945307617581,0.0,0.14793120175271565,0.08100179533265035,0.09783626540041424,0.03769007613947498,0.0,0.0,0.03917355436242944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04522809982197055,0.0,0.04515966004961389,0.045501106603278885,0.0,0.0,0.09288072442498904,0.0,0.049678359843407315,0.03536435209820298,0.09801871229440078,0.0,0.02856531730057683,0.09132826523242704,0.0,0.0,0.0459691355158348,0.04627675215724435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356108906886047,0.0,0.0,0.11100334050661073,0.0,0.0392304464291461,0.0,0.0,0.05851021049792066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039807687589602785,0.08665409591272707,0.2087774670436482,0.0,0.02239586896579044,0.0,0.0,0.04852081064746781,0.0,0.11302679594317175,0.053559264983180095,0.0,0.0684413156324932,0.04094815985385539,0.13884756956618186,0.08497975303693177,0.07551818882732636,0.03715086247068783,0.1062754622630007,0.0976663660054222,0.0,0.0,0.03916814891566555,0.0,0.0,0.043730162239491055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059377321355498586,0.046797980733580116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221633793884508,0.09483313378889796,0.05000139963188142,0.0,0.0,0.17581585079481946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171135757123548,0.0,0.04996442726609444,0.0,0.048124468319376834,0.0,0.1564272602097982,0.04327863975013863,0.0,0.039111525787723284,0.07839581294509029,0.037194960055436224,0.049552531337666836,0.0,0.0753126402889197,0.0,0.041911102526026506,0.0,0.044906144545110216,0.04449826653918574,0.0,0.0,0.1338615968421769,0.04463692081391296,0.0,0.044723298113356666,0.15562626012694816,0.10606273732128063,0.0,0.032560447507089266,0.032842694320724675,0.0341614880737262,0.0,0.04710610233525234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151178130171355,0.030014079506882382,0.10106045511877247,0.047130869227845776,0.0,0.0,0.04796499691762155,0.042282675278878364,0.03070718550297708,0.03867493449413072,0.0,0.0,0.08374239346740865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047755339733075136,0.0,0.0,0.044526693460623316,0.0,0.04711105197466603,0.0,0.1512453747493392,0.028375226578959068,0.0,0.0,0.09510820019160754,0.05017532856915935,0.03782597544391148,0.0,0.0,0.04434501465007959,0.0,0.0,0.04032267882813502,0.13862176018332845,0.10007695297742783,0.04546612253158657,0.1099188687314288,0.0,0.0,0.045151130127915225,0.03752931065616619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194556672650914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050737475755535874,0.0,0.0,0.04844934713598247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660563933632202,0.0356010313349679,0.03871402964309005,0.0,0.050652899589346684,0.0,0.2354103802182853,0.02838116251820805,0.0,0.0,0.15496560835642573,0.0509082816219272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21050425143433946,0.09635611831647804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038254926119735036,0.0,0.07309271869732951,0.1045006234167476,0.0,0.03552916862004549,0.10787386983600576,0.07964944318427844,0.08212009964177554,0.039967538364091885,0.0,0.1018695159121215,0.0,0.0,0.16122913827031474,0.0,0.0902766912706456,0.03146447259257338,0.0,0.0,0.11409294548419174
mentalhealth,BrownThunder95,2019/02/10,"Dealing with Guilt Hey everyone. 

I need some help. First some backstory.
I suffer from sever depression and anxiety. I live in India and went to college in the US. The end goal for any student going there is to get a job there. 
For one, you want to make up the ton of money you spent to get your education. 
Secondly, the standard of living is just so much better there. It is just a better life.

Even though I did well in college, my mental health prevented me from landing a job mostly because I didn't try very hard. I was partially hospitalised around the end of college and engaged in self harm, suicidal ideation etc.

Now I'm back home working long hours for little pay. And the guilt is just eating me up. All that money my parents spent on me was wasted. All the time and energy I spent to have a better life was for nothing. I will never be able to make it up. I miss the life I had there. 

The guilt is the first thing I feel when I wake up and the last thing I feel before bed. I don't know how to deal with it. Therapy hasn't helped much for this.

So my question is, how do you guys deal with the guilt of missing out on an opportunity because of your mental health? How do you deal with the fact that our issues can prevent us from achieving what we truly are capable of?
",2.403948296122209,4.296583687258689,3.6998086285042815,88.59363437972134,76.99227799227799,6.666509988249117,23.229981534329358,7.586124646067393,0.9800567735437302,1001,31,208,14,23,327,139,259,0.122,0.76,0.117,-0.5137,3,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,4,6,0,9,19,15,0,4,18,0,21,7,1,5,4,37,38,13,1,2,3,1,3,0,0,1,5,0,2,2,9,13,1,2,4,0,6,2,4,9,1,4,10,3,30,6,37,26,9,28,0,4,0,0,21,14,0,4,12,153,39,10,0.10078960015975144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685403843312901,0.0,0.07710376824894269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972411277830636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750098115211834,0.0,0.12288080952427567,0.0,0.08576452623112625,0.0,0.0,0.2674206322839625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156386084328485,0.08680993492914604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031329231146901,0.0,0.0,0.1785393396065536,0.0,0.11240704670569736,0.06657058033615762,0.0,0.0,0.0963087821960676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192450045881793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714631648149869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531681229226622,0.0,0.0572810524680339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997975502765178,0.0,0.0,0.09028768464811272,0.0,0.0,0.21426926367126184,0.0,0.0,0.13511428886698473,0.0,0.10110018684191564,0.0,0.0992574536384826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519815660657003,0.20003625213623827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05539132837203983,0.08215697633893275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21357202588628146,0.0,0.10101765773809504,0.17799812698427148,0.08919562447762835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455568150141148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203144421988152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818390623489286,0.07473421141806927,0.07773515312495757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671033966382993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829764152360188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191492333239468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112907418962533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514553436163984,0.11386355956142885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024746376070313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526169168342892,0.0,0.13392026361658455,0.0,0.09902527042020468,0.0,0.05877122638164493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842952250535793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424749581920624,0.0,0.0,0.08316197567263355,0.05944831754271656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062195488798773,0.09343296911588392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337602931464338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,perseveringcrab,2019/02/10,"i snapped a whole year after i was supposed to? ive explained this situation a million times to friends and my therapist so i wont go too into detail. im 23 yrs old, in nc, usa, and go by he/him.

last year my mother started losing her mind after having a seizure for the first time in her life, which was slightly traumatic for me to watch. a few months later she started becoming delusional and highly obsessive, genuine psychotic ocd symptoms, throwing clothes, food supplies, anything away that she thought had ""parasites"" in them and guilted my whole family saying we ""dont care about her issues"" because we arent experiencing them as she is. shes made a lot of dramatic major changes in her life very out of character for her, but now at least she seems like shes stabilising.

in the same time (within a month of this coming on), my 3 yr girlfriend admitted to cheating on me with our mutual friend and wouldnt break up with the person she was cheating on, but begged me to stay anyway. i was also relapsing with mono and physically could not get out of bed or go anywhere for a long while, in pain and feeling miserable every day. i was diagnosed with chronic ebv and also had a ct scan done which prompted a multiple sclerosis diagnosis. it was very stressful and im still not physically recovered, or emotionally.

but the thing is, for the whole year last year (these things happened in the first quarter of 2018) i was initially very upset, but then dealt with it quite well! i didnt feel like i was pushing any of it down, i was genuinely dealing with things in a healthy way and felt very very confident despite shit hitting the fan around me everywhere. i felt like this up until a couple of months ago... where i suddenly stopped feeling ANYTHING. i have been dx with borderline personality disorder for quite a few yrs and as anyone else with bpd knows, we only EVER feel too much. so suddenly feeling nothing... i thought it was just a seasonal depression, but this past month, it acutely got so much worse. and ive finally snapped.

i have never physically self harmed in my life, but i tried every knife in the kitchen on me last week during my initial big breakdown, and ever since then, i havent felt myself at all. life just looks so pointless, even though i know logically that doesnt make sense. i dont abuse substances, but today i took a pretty big dose of nyquil on purpose because i am allergic to acetaminophen, a big ingredient in nyquil, and luckily i didnt take enough to go into anaphylaxis but it did hurt to react. i feel nothing still. nothing i like is making me happy.

therapy is not helping. it feels like its doing the opposite, really, and i have no other real support system other than friends who absolutely do not understand whats happening to me or how i feel, so its like me screaming and them not knowing what to even say, which is understandable. i want to get private help because i know im going to die, i know im going to just keep doing dumber shit, but i think back to when i was hospitalised for just a WEEK when i was 18 or 19 and put in a shitty institution with no insulation in the winter where i was crying and freezing in bed with people who were very violent and aggressive, had to be tranq'd to go to sleep every night, and the only help i got was a missed diagnosis and some meds and being too scared to continue treatment there. it was involuntary commitment, but i wasnt as bad as the other patients so they let me go. i dont want that experience again. every non-private (? like one thats appointed to you) mental hospital i know of around my area is like this, and i wish i could get private inpatient help or something. i dont know what to do. it also cost 10k usd for the shitty week stay, and i dont think my insurance will cover anything. i cant afford something like that. i dont know what to do anymore, and i dont want people telling me that they know how i feel. i know im not alone. i just wish i could be so i could disappear already, but i also want help. im sorry if any of this is dumb or sounds mean or stupid. ive brought up these concerns with my therapist and she says the only way i can really be helped now is if i get that special sort of treatment and i feel so stuck!!! why does it cost so much just to keep someone as worthless as me alive. why didnt i snap like this last year when people still felt bad for me?",5.432345251826218,5.869011798154559,6.309728950403692,78.42165609381009,67.6966551326413,9.513341022683584,32.20319108035371,9.492444814028406,2.860861437908497,3467,140,673,67,54,1149,369,867,0.14,0.708,0.153,0.7615,2,1,2,0,1,0,97.0,4,1,5,5,48,42,8,6,32,0,73,17,3,6,5,146,146,76,1,13,32,1,15,10,4,3,12,5,3,3,43,48,2,3,35,0,2,15,26,24,1,5,38,24,101,18,98,95,15,118,0,6,3,0,46,40,3,13,67,464,144,0,0.0,0.049549259487032815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707045629526087,0.0,0.0,0.043312381474090784,0.0461488491814292,0.13377213014438993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687737704042195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04147369869817394,0.02924116106417062,0.04284901141539836,0.1032416356617046,0.07445642801537841,0.0,0.0,0.039290789221391,0.03215660788160552,0.06983505781316712,0.07647832226066702,0.046186343175143335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05267018604423503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042637759080191684,0.0,0.044239477327258116,0.03602378929149678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355784548720415,0.04627247233003711,0.045936748122502966,0.02697011261318473,0.043114059825892816,0.036019067065294036,0.04244590395037786,0.0434020301104017,0.0,0.047928760749047096,0.0,0.03659651914832607,0.042795859596145784,0.3430849310795893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03493481929386827,0.04704129959928064,0.0,0.04321071415217593,0.0,0.0552427599366522,0.07565624920738129,0.14093890222725425,0.0,0.0,0.040907487576074764,0.039423695091592416,0.0,0.2114519162247499,0.08962756003452704,0.16061308145291098,0.04581120921834795,0.0,0.07114327683506919,0.05056829556192605,0.0,0.09692890703329878,0.0,0.08739583385598185,0.0,0.19013584766312516,0.0,0.06689373585669951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396167709183174,0.044517626721413565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681843432834598,0.044184589205624486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0447686309736203,0.0,0.2710333648552539,0.043648684462786816,0.0,0.07434217171977693,0.0,0.0,0.2298289905523667,0.13635386977534758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042763263790019566,0.11815337541641845,0.2043089134149267,0.0,0.0,0.0370089343185513,0.03511784065909065,0.046785314386066805,0.0,0.035553436505104404,0.0,0.03957061435641186,0.05582967110816795,0.0,0.0,0.045553686445972456,0.04645202793329015,0.0,0.04214421175124604,0.0,0.042225765387381306,0.0,0.13351967770416026,0.0,0.0922264150012597,0.0,0.03225377021678516,0.0,0.0,0.03924476018596263,0.0,0.12038079096944405,0.0,0.043882521917410544,0.0,0.028337969985208312,0.09541682406720388,0.044498887838596325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03992143696002437,0.08697711028393043,0.07303033448840318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0425454576062092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042040139946266826,0.0,0.08896035452451873,0.0,0.04759973719517821,0.05358127467701575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997696153294962,0.04186860682698673,0.0,0.0,0.0380708947643344,0.04362685050828824,0.0,0.08585421487595264,0.03459351582207748,0.04700686102515912,0.041849693402667885,0.0,0.035433519748494326,0.06438937590758928,0.0,0.04681349733151279,0.059200103172684,0.08914802813694889,0.1001913006733538,0.03496296775268056,0.04790408663893609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745626378588661,0.0,0.043466464445994654,0.03144305338308805,0.0,0.03655207915940867,0.0,0.047824233553373896,0.09711130658644758,0.08334903649930199,0.053592483581039164,0.04108743842897058,0.06640001051771524,0.0731558460311429,0.0,0.039639988463922186,0.0,0.04646299420154056,0.02839268987332233,0.0,0.0,0.08707113175173915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20703276288455605,0.09866487923243823,0.06638873221187078,0.10063522158559456,0.0,0.037600745506405936,0.0,0.07547117360601294,0.14006990762396868,0.09618070358157901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04261763495037139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465190827831536
mentalhealth,AWZ_Arcana,2019/02/10,"I tried to kill myself... Again, I failed I can't take it anymore, I can't breathe, I feel like someone hollowed out my chest. My parents don't talk to each other. I live only for them. I study for them. And now I'm typing with bloody wrists that have clotted up. My dad caught me trying to use my medication for overdose. My parents blamed each other. I dont want to live anymore. I can't breathe. ",-0.011507760532150968,2.3154646341463447,1.5636141906873604,97.12961197339249,91.6829268292683,3.4696230598669624,20.869179600886927,4.851557810540192,-0.32457560975609745,308,11,67,1,11,99,51,82,0.221,0.779,0.0,-0.9463,3,0,0,0,0,3,15.0,0,0,2,1,2,3,1,0,0,0,6,5,4,1,0,8,12,1,1,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,1,18,1,10,11,2,5,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,43,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4224220863633336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249601652778218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768506598269288,0.1521472728253309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356220154085215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404738445857367,0.0,0.376116438399257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21454693140830453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619748385193902,0.0,0.0,0.472960508974633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804505241778012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601284745349049,0.17117886402237345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891880799212149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839394689109495,0.0,0.0,0.12561643114913446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tchatcha347,2019/02/10,"How can I [22F] overcome with this type of depression? I am not sure if this is even depression, but I am feeling great now [morning],    invincible and unshakable .  but i know that in the evening I will start to think about the past, times of bullying, when my father beat me and called me names, laco of love and then suicidal thoughts thinking I won't have anything of I want. 
Usually this is worse when I have my period, the others days I feel more like a procrastination. 
How can I overcome this? I know my potential, and I really don't want to kill myself because the life is a gift, you just have to focus. 
I need to change my mind, but how?!

If you have suggestions of any books about overcome depression, it is welcome!

tl;dr how can I [22F] overcome this type of depression it comes and leaves, how to overcome the past and delete suicidal thoughts 
",5.28142219743447,6.2990756809815975,5.6087228109314005,81.2436252091467,68.2638036809816,9.608254322364752,31.38259899609593,9.800150414767053,2.9036429447852754,668,27,131,15,11,213,88,163,0.195,0.622,0.183,-0.6551,0,0,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,2,0,1,13,10,1,0,7,0,16,2,0,5,1,34,30,19,3,5,7,1,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,8,1,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,2,23,5,15,26,1,13,0,4,0,1,8,1,0,2,12,95,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999876202186088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210092810473699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964006365413657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015406993193728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555896545918413,0.12667019894134424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483481880649823,0.0,0.5066143768411815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424973132674864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148705379536738,0.10505225466735914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212268931152948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268858132179004,0.0,0.1616292151843585,0.0,0.0,0.15570428084185273,0.0,0.0,0.1038654723999414,0.07184100067415017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271799388695854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847816421501944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903540584722428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28075094048722204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420373115038268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104082454868262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216967631471924,0.0,0.13859249592599296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884468760917764,0.0,0.23348189369883104,0.08574579699267937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195434558418192,0.0,0.1734673132213595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985609242521825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lexan-adler,2019/02/10,"can't stop thinking about past, very suicidal I'm 24 years old, I've never had a girlfriend. I've had sex once in the past 8 years.

I tried to kill myself in 2012 with OTC medication, woke up on the bathroom floor. it was a few days after senior prom (I did not attend and realized I was a loser). There was a girl I liked but I didn't know how to talk to her and suffered every being in many of the same classes marveling at her.

​

this story is lacking details but it would be too tedious to explain fully

(last time was maybe January 10th 2016. we had cuddled in december 2015. she told me she was cuddling with someone else. i wanted to slit my throat. she stopped doing that on her own accord. she would see me maybe once a month, i thought she had someone else. in april that year she sent me a text message to say she was leaving the state in a few weeks. i wanted answers and went through her trash and found notebooks she had thrown away. there were entries from the summer before about having sex with her then boyfriend. i photocopied the entries and sent her anonymous emails of them and others. she stopped communicating with me. i've been thinking about her nonstop and have sent her emails outlining my suicidal intentions. sometimes she opens them but never responds. my phone number is blocked.)

(I lost my virginity with a girl in high school a number of times but she had a girlfriend and was generally abusive of my feelings)

​

i can't stop thinking about the girl whose notebooks i took--her interface is everything i crave--and every time i think about her i'm humiliated and want to shoot myself. i tried to buy a gun once with the intention of immediate suicide but was denied on the fire arm application because i was in a mental health diversion program (i had a number of art installations inside maintenance rooms that weren't mine)

i can't stop thinking about driving to where she is and shooting myself in front of her.

i can't stop thinking about who any of her previous boyfriends might have been.

i can't stop thinking about what it's like to be her, and do everything she does (eat food, put on clothing, brush teeth, think thoughts, drive a car, hear music, etc. (i don't like thinking about her talking to people though))

i don't go any span of 20 minutes without thinking about killing myself.

​

i received an OCD diagnosis when i was \~8, aspergers when I was \~10, a number of schizoaffective/schizoid diagnoses when I was \~20.

​

How I feel: I don't want to read any of your advice because you are all people that have sex with other people.

I'm posting this, however.

​

I looked through therapists but I want a life partner. i had a therapist for over a year in another state (she did not give me the schizoid diagnoses))

​

i have passions and hobbies (at the sacrifice of having no friends)

i spend 90+ minutes every day masturbating. today was at least two hours. it helps me feel connected, and if i'm less horny i'm getting less upset about her. i can't watch pornography involving men without getting very sad. most of it is soft porn, camgirls (but vaginal videos make me uncomfortable,) or animated. I don't want to go through all of my sexual preferences and fantasies.

i'm a substitute teacher's assistant right now, i hate working at middle/high schools because there are girls at those schools and boys who will get girls, and also defile them. i work at elementary schools.

​

etc.",4.597774963413261,6.6576639559270525,4.781979061128002,82.48132275132278,71.29483282674772,7.548846110548239,31.48609703928853,8.285830014693849,2.4549313520207128,2785,127,504,44,54,871,308,658,0.098,0.83,0.07200000000000001,-0.981,1,0,0,3,0,3,117.0,1,2,3,4,24,13,3,1,31,0,60,18,3,5,4,89,108,33,5,11,13,0,5,3,4,4,5,2,1,8,18,25,2,8,21,4,2,13,19,8,0,1,38,11,89,5,76,63,13,81,1,4,3,8,66,30,0,4,38,332,107,12,0.0,0.05493122220190055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045304272400901575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707556218527396,0.0,0.3516313867764005,0.3943431358203783,0.09458296255526316,0.04861445191071124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04355849301386834,0.0,0.0,0.08478527746370626,0.0,0.03945052760855941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597991277408634,0.0,0.0,0.0941126226949536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040571575558639925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047439756382760684,0.07745876895362812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341145679529996,0.0,0.0,0.11718559826050474,0.0,0.08333409953723739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032584734106366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056060944374163535,0.05083338581434915,0.035819057540956885,0.0,0.07266647401137794,0.04447452004270131,0.05269702617484712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045772737798981146,0.0,0.0492804885282569,0.05225318498329785,0.0,0.0310753770672806,0.0979676997267351,0.0,0.0,0.045657092590562574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258505661609328,0.0,0.025479265440434086,0.03779110321860011,0.0,0.04909051494504052,0.0,0.0,0.03274675235359667,0.06795018797543045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038932285335168106,0.0,0.05060944615532362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03094690113284529,0.04700364861601758,0.09315343838207676,0.0,0.0,0.046704695796719715,0.04672184981568687,0.04918260628392278,0.0,0.0,0.037005593828363915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071514248122757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048648972500908716,0.14812160141360328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851528143802677,0.0964244273466114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044401845671442466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04660647389476594,0.0,0.0,0.04637440554402505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03959277458205493,0.0,0.036868811396982656,0.0,0.18768270728157135,0.03694439942489599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785645059825507,0.0,0.045853064383096345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713241326389745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213704793789626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452781280546937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765938412890066,0.0,0.29706807472190344,0.04555029143552288,0.07361227533403791,0.08110191908632661,0.0,0.04394562172946975,0.04430074341848091,0.05150973163016448,0.06295331847489202,0.0,0.04528879995938016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650677876804714,0.16407255509214386,0.0,0.03718868707952129,0.0,0.0,0.04297790811229499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938235600490199,0.0,0.06750397157171564,0.0,0.0,0.06586826941439912,0.0,0.3943431358203783,0.11942206959491347
mentalhealth,HeartAfflictions,2019/02/10,"Sick of being dependant on Lorazepam I have very bad anxiety, it became so bad that I was afraid to leave my home. I would only leave to go to therapy either twice or three times a week. I had no job, and lived with my parents. My psych tried many medications but nothing worked. I don't remember what they were but none of them were controlled substances. Nothing worked, I was afraid to be alive. We eventually worked our way to Lorazepam. I was originally on .5mg 3 times a day. This actually worked, I went to college, graduated, still dealing with anxiety but I would actually live a life. After a few years, my anxiety started to creep back and came back with a vengeance and horrible depression. My psych and I had a talk and I wanted to try something else instead of raising the dose. We tried Buspar and Klonopin and I believe a few others. My anxiety was still very severe. After nothing else was working he put the dose to 1mg x3 a day. That was about 2 years ago. Since then I have moved cross country (out of my parent's house) and began living my dream as an environment artist for video games. My anxiety is still there at times (especially when I forget a dose) but It's tolerable. Here is where I need your help. I know  Lorazepam is addicting, and I also know someday it will probably stop working. I want to try something else, because I don't like being dependant on it, but I also feel if I stop taking it my life will collapse and I will have to run back home as a failure. I would never just stop cold turkey and I plan on talking to my new psych out here in California but I just do not know what to do. My career has me moving around a lot and it is scary knowing I have to have these meds. I don't know what to do. For instance next month I may be moving to Texas for a year, so that means new doctors and the whole nine yards again. I hate being so dependant on these. My GF and friends always know when I miss a pill because I start talking really fast and start being obnoxious. I have never gotten ""high"" off the pills but they seem to just make me normal.",2.575441978440076,4.641027069879518,3.909692454026633,86.483625554851,77.09638554216869,6.874445149017121,24.896956246036787,7.85451343220497,1.375722891566265,1634,58,330,26,38,536,204,415,0.175,0.79,0.036000000000000004,-0.9949,3,0,2,0,0,0,45.0,3,1,3,8,24,9,1,2,18,0,40,11,0,6,2,69,64,34,0,8,14,2,1,1,2,7,11,0,3,0,16,24,0,4,10,5,0,9,8,7,0,3,14,2,54,2,43,37,6,60,0,2,0,0,18,13,0,8,38,231,70,14,0.0,0.0,0.13770709649518684,0.07691764985624461,0.0,0.0,0.06254460891846086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284896923618297,0.0587091565393359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698799286808841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281077490112677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627621560479495,0.11782445689186265,0.08602190233708995,0.0,0.0,0.07949368616545563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069852182625242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913578337060365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100698046137268,0.07274126838957527,0.06077072386871672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221817807734944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682420143164707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03567578801836021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054512237768764175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040099223957321836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696605253606207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047292934536555864,0.07454744635668056,0.1415490414238964,0.0,0.0,0.08141341623960968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001703118557974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23265801021273225,0.0,0.0,0.1494195552082988,0.0,0.0,0.09967312782660176,0.034470633396886136,0.0,0.18690962675422107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05998512033970736,0.0,0.0,0.047097409830818025,0.07153382152576154,0.0,0.07685736266272439,0.07837302830633007,0.07107885178936986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056318001310879724,0.2249730823458096,0.0,0.05231719306483371,0.1088359651301418,0.13628896703087398,0.0750382726319158,0.0,0.06913097392726239,0.2031043112205069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053661851349514164,0.0,0.0,0.15669061169490878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760724837095792,0.0,0.0,0.07092937003186461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04520068276654858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992743610525603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423253075834355,0.0,0.07970943582050259,0.0,0.0583655593816639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863660006145594,0.0,0.0,0.14982202827679006,0.0,0.16904096533734722,0.17696667615605155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053050155665306485,0.17013336465060278,0.0,0.0,0.08068818901490826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234272312073458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191614548267334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164339879785293,0.08323280723103649,0.056004939077519696,0.056596646912583065,0.0,0.0,0.06540713538156749,0.0,0.07877447855698527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081984397087202,0.0,0.0,0.1503652110177277,0.0,0.0,0.1363093706154625
mentalhealth,NoxiousQuadrumvirate,2019/02/10,"My psychologist asked me to write down every single memory I have Literally *all* of them. I do have a bad memory, but over 22 years I still have a lot of random stuff to put down. You wouldn't think you had that many, but when you really think about it, there's lot of stuff that pops up. Even a random flash of an image counts. 

We're doing this because he's convinced there's some massive trauma in my life that I can't recall, so I suppose he's going to look for any really sudden gaps. 

But now that I'm writing it all out, there's a lot of traumatic shit in there that I wouldn't personally consider trauma, e.g. surrounding drugs and some questionable romantic partners. Maybe it'd be trauma to someone else, but I just brushed it off and moved on, and none of it kept me up at night. I feel like he's just going to latch onto those and then we'll waste time ""working through"" a bunch of experiences that I really, truly don't give a shit about. Also, there's stuff I don't really want to tell to my psychologist because they're kinda personal experiences. Not traumatic or bad, just *personal*. I don't think all of my thoughts deserve to be immortalised. 

Is this a normal activity for people to do? I did ask him if he meant ""all"" of my memories and he said yes, but I feel like he didn't think that one through too well. ",2.9983575532274402,4.643076988847586,4.5756623859411985,84.03547059817508,74.65055762081784,8.31098344035147,23.751436296045966,8.97023862654752,1.680663940520446,1046,31,217,23,22,351,140,269,0.16399999999999998,0.75,0.086,-0.9752,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,1,3,1,1,18,11,2,0,8,1,20,4,2,0,4,45,38,16,0,5,11,0,2,2,1,3,2,1,0,4,18,6,0,1,9,0,0,4,9,7,1,1,7,5,26,4,36,25,12,25,0,0,1,0,24,13,2,11,10,149,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932875437716914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759617902141116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20885423177611093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653448127272507,0.1361860801554035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953987980048634,0.0,0.09331342450910718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377870006512825,0.0,0.09411449578964663,0.0,0.0,0.2185337053944508,0.0,0.0,0.11296066686915697,0.1596011224382328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715558288998593,0.1269666440675008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788990490023181,0.10914477162804567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380228778913652,0.0,0.0,0.2848973872271353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132491898860191,0.11222055885542882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187224857575386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482558779497113,0.10944510759116233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569276373558367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744071367334812,0.2926039439405903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229224895165886,0.12513279224396354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862389060963607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625502048329467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293228063161048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464548942789076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920606585660533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3836192256241951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763324237062967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862987856801433,0.0,0.08867961097391826,0.06513484878418603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588525392467298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004343058936045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132102846991039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193299368427633
mentalhealth,Ro-Ar-Go,2019/02/10,"I don’t know what’s real anymore The last year I went through a deep slum with my depression and anxiety, I was suicidal and was cutting myself. It was a hard time, but I fought it, and I’m a lot better now. I don’t have suicidal thoughts anymore and I stop cutting myself a long time ago, and even though I’m grateful, something has changed. 
After going through that experience I been having a hard time getting to distinguish between reality and my own head. I have trouble differentiating between my dreams and my real life. Sometime I don’t know where I am, and in other times that I look down at my wrists and even though I know it’s not real, I can see my veins cut open with my blood flowing like a river. In the sort of days I can’t even know if I’m alive or dead. 
This has become relatively common, and I’m starting to freak out pretty bad. I know I should tell my family and my psychiatrist, but I really don’t want to go back to the security mesures that were in place when I was suicidal.

I really needed to take out this information of my system, so I abused of the semi anonymity of the internet. If you read this far, thank a lot ",6.511895565092993,5.4377292274678135,7.530139484978545,75.65841380543634,65.7381974248927,10.685121602288984,33.57975679542203,9.928628108626363,3.023870100143062,902,33,185,17,12,307,125,233,0.223,0.6579999999999999,0.119,-0.9789,1,0,1,0,1,2,21.0,0,1,0,1,10,12,4,0,12,0,19,5,4,0,0,40,41,20,4,5,6,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,11,16,0,2,8,2,0,4,6,8,0,0,9,4,33,4,23,31,3,33,0,1,2,0,4,12,0,6,17,128,44,1,0.0,0.13077047890892374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978364030722246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844327974548505,0.0,0.2189148938665358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486776707257397,0.09215439392439567,0.0,0.12189506520568755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761335316314444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167568939810297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117956109065103,0.0,0.09506157506175904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186951605721965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796310170254153,0.10404707438334426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057663803487226835,0.0,0.12545170257876442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977397982923111,0.0,0.11327152822109632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032825058622011,0.08996633368594374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779576407794473,0.053921238640557034,0.0,0.0,0.0976740341803174,0.09268305699782252,0.0,0.0,0.18766536439751488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183800453483474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531322661649468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228603462821324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039993247954684,0.3768758903802411,0.14141177936065125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795065196326657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496826805540621,0.1091588162153028,0.0,0.07812049991761824,0.0,0.0,0.09227431619420737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621808112243358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298455298492112,0.0,0.09646830136873563,0.10161392695670846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168760565192115,0.08762150297353694,0.2574306893656985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509912379262542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231415579451793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107470308880791
mentalhealth,theroadtonowhere,2019/02/10,"I just joined this reddit What I am reading here is just breaking my heart. I've been not dealing for almost 60 years. So many of you are so young and I see myself at that age. I never figured out how to fix myself. And had no guidance from parents or anyone else. I so don't want any of you to go as long as I have feeling the way you do. This is just too much. I remember all the hurts. I don't want that for any of you. I'm pretty fucked up so, well, peace to you all....",-0.9512857142857136,0.9212831333333328,1.4205952380952418,100.46232142857146,89.09523809523809,3.8809523809523814,16.36904761904762,4.7782277997778095,-1.0423809523809522,359,8,90,1,12,121,69,105,0.118,0.7809999999999999,0.101,-0.2094,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,5,0,0,11,3,1,0,2,0,10,2,1,1,3,18,17,10,0,2,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,2,1,0,2,2,16,1,14,15,3,11,0,1,1,1,7,3,1,2,5,67,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158910061658067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932290880435476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15075165976953486,0.22090639890048647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22227284559231344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801050916118534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901320663148507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19931757138541875,0.0,0.0,0.1225297387901299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554855582561922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308029222941011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190798110327414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185832941689861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848988925260346,0.0,0.16628304817770628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23939689883122034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21934143913489412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21565709529806976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442313566607964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180429105319864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543314588741801,0.1711322534179025,0.0,0.0,0.19384916971057176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883852709914246
mentalhealth,s_trbn,2019/02/10,"Upcoming invasive medical appointment will badly trigger my PTSD. How might I prepare? I have to go to an urologist over some issues with the genitals, but I have huge issues with being touched or being seen naked due to a lengthy history of being sexual abused and raped throughout my childhood by multiple perpetrators.

To get the referral I had to first be checked out by a GP back in December, and that brief exam messed me up bad. The mind/body link broke and I went numb and dissociated. My PTSD flared up and emotionally I spiraled down, only managing recently to climb back out enough to no longer be suicidal.

The urologist testing will not be so brief, will be more invasive, and will also include an injection to induce an erection.

Because of my past I have never been involved in any kind of intimate relationships, and so aside from that GP I have never been handled by or naked in front of anyone except the past abusers. I don't have anybody in my life that I could bring with me for support, nor anybody whom I can practice nudity or touch with to make it easier once that time comes.

Even though I know the doctor will be professional and isn't going to try to harm me, the body doesn't care what I try to tell it. It still goes fullblown PTSD panic mode whenever I think about it, and then that affects my mood and emotional state.

I see multiple therapists for trauma, and I've spoken with them about this, but no matter what I mentally tell myself or how much I try to calm down the body won't cooperate. They tell me not to push myself because it will cause retraumatization, but what is going on cannot be left or it could have lifelong consequences.

How can I prepare myself for the PTSD to be triggered badly? This last time lasted over a month yet was far less invasive than this upcoming time.",8.5393607616457,7.4544549421965325,8.444756885413124,70.76867222033323,61.716763005780344,12.18741924515471,36.82692961577696,11.326091736570909,4.127029105746345,1454,57,264,35,17,472,184,346,0.179,0.779,0.043,-0.9954,0,0,0,0,2,0,28.0,0,0,2,2,15,15,1,1,15,0,37,7,2,9,2,49,51,28,1,2,11,0,2,0,0,8,4,0,0,0,18,19,0,0,4,0,1,11,12,10,0,1,6,4,33,4,48,25,5,47,0,1,2,1,8,16,0,7,19,196,51,5,0.0,0.2202581184167045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433107474065473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320833135094253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499192099933952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294368916895278,0.2328249492428149,0.11332137980931388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097352929735797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476743634246956,0.0954839611015854,0.0,0.0800671102830649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842401304957498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513697517372102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091096465392302,0.0,0.09604089640422474,0.0,0.06139176692931725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906215176531506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048561880949036115,0.0,0.1584747348525144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19402867390286385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967918106019174,0.05108219733326458,0.15153125953080165,0.0,0.0,0.10098907925704656,0.0,0.06565244471669011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062044006496841136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363607803590916,0.09367046933278493,0.0986039258248255,0.09385173188474998,0.0,0.07419079842762212,0.0,0.06832801958695847,0.0,0.14337559861319465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898737583857048,0.0,0.07069170609852098,0.0,0.10905532085034694,0.0,0.0,0.17746018165230526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43460841768727704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177566849613518,0.0997921629326136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406811260683392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422898477359502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167083666039876,0.10547712999930567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24372389002029596,0.0,0.0,0.10792065253425423,0.0,0.0595578002428422,0.0913216662833844,0.0,0.1625974753691177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893182818380045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616441428798753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ivegotthehiccups,2019/02/10,"How do you know if you're having a mental breakdown and what do you do about it? Lately, at the slightest provocation, I've started just absolutely bawling my eyes out. I get extremely emotional during non emotional songs. I recently had a tragedy in the family and was unable to feel anything about it, but I started crying uncontrollably while watching a video of a dog running in his sleep. I don't know what's going on cuz other than a (sorta distant) relative passing away, nothing has happened. I'm in a good relationship and money's a little tight rn but not too bad, so everything's pretty much okay in my life. I just don't understand, what's wrong with me...",5.293845486111111,6.602907429687503,6.458229166666667,74.09163194444444,68.453125,9.438888888888886,32.97222222222222,9.725611199111238,3.3985805555555566,533,24,92,12,9,179,90,128,0.079,0.758,0.163,0.8695,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,0,7,5,0,1,9,1,9,3,2,3,0,20,19,10,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,4,2,1,3,3,3,0,0,2,5,11,2,14,17,1,17,0,0,2,0,4,9,0,2,5,64,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15701975304841448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17927156949069567,0.0,0.15931775191759198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20959499914388147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42926944340704776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148704859208422,0.0,0.1798779773643396,0.0,0.09647888893203553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968995668442866,0.0,0.10844129280194924,0.16004174428390236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873198779114898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097275451436014,0.0,0.21524114273581427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477421471590656,0.0,0.19124099381828025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922908431037777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402667520252196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18308661954690708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19412160231213996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884011129360054,0.20485772391390772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909470480912645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27011153555551937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19863915634923468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086199588786804,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dazedandconfusedAF,2019/02/10,Best ways to communicate with friend with mental illness A lifelong friend and I have become distant as they learn to deal with their mental illness. Is it rude to ask what exactly their diagnosis is and what they are doing for treatment? I want to be a part of this persons life and help but they have already said they don’t like talking about it and have changed and push people away. What do I do when they say there’s nothing I can do to help. I feel like I’m damned if I do or damned if I don’t. ,2.32729700854701,4.083958759615385,3.212820512820514,92.60995726495727,76.78846153846155,5.776068376068378,24.055555555555557,6.42735559955562,0.5010311965811964,397,13,87,3,9,126,62,104,0.113,0.7070000000000001,0.18,0.7469,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,7,1,4,8,3,0,2,0,15,3,0,0,1,16,20,11,0,3,4,0,1,2,2,0,3,2,0,1,6,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,3,14,5,13,18,2,4,0,0,0,0,17,1,2,3,3,63,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22321076253917413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18909581293229644,0.0,0.19003999402875346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233921118702196,0.0,0.0,0.21227063509873145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21397559513846967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20853222432618576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227415048930218,0.14450223840672322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125477035687054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711555916513011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428697870644242,0.19763850742023453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4076826100094192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19408420523280295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903947198766816,0.0,0.14022904474175887,0.17661498540907478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240576842096446,0.16085379022407975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257753793293647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930450769599248,0.16055307774591165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deadbeatskip,2019/02/10,"Internet friend struggling with suicide To sum it up, one of my closest friends has been struggling with his mental health for a long time. we’ve spent countless hours together calling into the late hours of the night talking about our lives and we’d help each other out. In those calls, he’d mention his suicidal thoughts and I always did whatever I could to talk him down from them. He already sees a therapist and is going to start medication soon, but recently he’s been talking about taking action.

In a series of drunk videos he’s sent to me, he told me about his plan to kill himself and when he’s going to do it. it really seemed like he had it all planned out as well: he had a date, location, and method. I tried to talk him out of it but he seems truly adamant on doing it. I know that it wasn’t a drunk ramble because he’s also mentioned the same thing when he was sober, and that really scared me. I don’t want to lose him.

I’m not sure if he’s told any of his IRL friends, but he said it was a secret so I doubt they know. but I know why he told me. we’re internet friends, and I live on the other side of the world so there’s really nothing I can do about it apart from talk to him. I would really like some advice on this situation. just something, or anything really. as long as it helps.

I’ve semi constructed a plan in my head where I message his IRLs on social media closer to the date he told me he’d do it and tell them to check on him, but that’s about all I have. any and all feedback is appreciated. thank you",3.5821630094043897,4.332552090909093,4.676285266457679,87.36201410658308,71.97805642633229,7.93166144200627,25.785266457680247,8.150884317080207,1.338083385579937,1203,36,264,17,22,395,162,319,0.109,0.7709999999999999,0.121,0.4571,0,0,2,0,0,1,29.0,2,1,3,4,15,15,1,4,13,0,23,5,1,0,4,42,44,24,3,4,9,0,0,2,4,1,2,1,0,0,19,16,2,0,7,3,2,4,3,6,1,1,16,2,38,9,44,23,6,38,0,1,1,0,58,20,0,6,16,168,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032423310905717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200186022856274,0.07391845280811501,0.07691146931035849,0.0,0.0,0.12571490656757284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606429396272729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05634615868808211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876838563369067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738000455561516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28565331538239097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506334665858703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948626889186232,0.09825171220420954,0.0,0.0,0.12391147472091595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18205531865686528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226316499802612,0.0,0.15239589926910604,0.0,0.10426819069625098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031596496661973,0.0,0.1632396587891256,0.16360018559630832,0.0,0.10340862629088772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311629139742156,0.0931504917835184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674189311751875,0.0,0.08869173578157385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263483715983112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960739968285342,0.0,0.09126620924471007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792473120197353,0.0,0.09254132783986116,0.0,0.07365695041295965,0.16829464462964944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389830630925526,0.0,0.09422356872533216,0.0,0.07115926223544132,0.0,0.0,0.06542439038508649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19326160110931054,0.0,0.20221289596214606,0.0,0.08711679186835347,0.0,0.06949793967195213,0.3714697963461516,0.08079031515658477,0.08509967592101969,0.0,0.10732157027471473,0.061408225210293176,0.0,0.0,0.07338129457330632,0.05389829153655037,0.0,0.0,0.3532938915805893,0.0,0.06275578341262253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451924262168304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310816099781666,0.0,0.08340619796586353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656615878126096,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nykki23,2019/02/10,Is there such a thing as a sponsor/pen pal type of system for those with anxiety/depression? I’d love to have that go-to person I can reach st any time if I’m having an episode or freaking out...,6.1157142857142865,4.0697386666666695,6.928571428571432,82.7914285714286,67.0952380952381,10.304761904761904,32.904761904761905,8.841846274778883,2.376676190476191,152,5,35,2,2,51,38,42,0.07200000000000001,0.7929999999999999,0.136,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,6,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,1,21,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449842914167146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.436940413766992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883127004624482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4578618990236198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44295851015601817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370304069699796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958131922774625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dreadfulsorrow,2019/02/10,"I think I've officially lost it Backstory: I've always had issues with anger even as a child. It's the weirdest thing ever, but it's just like the smallest shit ever gets under my skin. It's honestly pretty funny looking back.

​

Playing an rpg and I get killed: Immersion ruined and I start smashing shit. 

Missed an episode of GOT cause of random chores and it got spoiled: Smashed a hole in the wall (yes, this actually happened. Fuck you dad)

Draw something and I realize how much I suck: Smash my head into a mirror causing it to break and scar me badly (also happened. I can't make this shit up.)

​

But recently I've done something I can't forgive myself for. I saw my little brother (13 years of age) in my room without permission looking for a Rubix Cube of mine (sounds like a damned comedy sketch just wait), and I swear to god I snapped and choked him half to death. My father eventually stopped me before I could kill him, and I felt really bad about the whole ordeal. Like, so bad I thought about using my pocketknife to stab myself in the throat, and I was really close to doing it. I don't even fucking play with that damned Cube anymore so I don't know why I even got so mad.

​

I don't know if I want help, or to just get shot to death while I'm walking out to my car, but I'm sure its the latter. I'm really sad these days, I've lost interest in school (I used to be so smart. Now the teachers ask me and only me if I get what's going on because I'm stupid and they know it), and sometimes I cross the street without looking because I don't even care anymore. IDK man, I feel like I just need to be put down like the rabid dog I am.",3.451228070175439,4.558619421052633,4.477948538011695,87.32348421052633,72.62573099415205,7.109426900584795,26.54549707602339,7.404127859558343,1.2532316725146204,1310,44,274,14,25,427,188,342,0.293,0.584,0.122,-0.9975,0,0,2,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,1,2,20,34,13,0,16,1,14,8,6,6,3,53,54,26,4,5,12,3,3,5,0,0,0,1,2,2,15,17,0,2,9,2,0,5,8,21,0,1,11,8,44,13,33,40,2,32,0,5,4,2,12,15,8,4,16,162,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.078719310293815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450933359088552,0.06712136742886991,0.26220783133063513,0.2940575339178542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999988408231702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541271230888638,0.0,0.0,0.062027907987911614,0.20206061020090446,0.0983476522921869,0.0,0.06864163604909053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822453352907827,0.16573436401323466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440599846107271,0.0,0.0,0.0520235116139592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255030042555529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131190480640876,0.14593575546972942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040787635473700116,0.057628487717271575,0.07745292565291798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915059737034927,0.16858061524725074,0.0,0.045844888659720265,0.0,0.19355019540449686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266704119336093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278756673473067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406935856233585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419534154906486,0.0,0.0,0.17849206454692462,0.0,0.13299734410504968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19704899423891814,0.08084947940251512,0.0,0.0,0.2032197734123185,0.0,0.17611501768032356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384581786802426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592994925005283,0.05981352391256055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135085314896064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206729202961495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109256865608706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503194807320328,0.0,0.07964888487352388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163926357181643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484104057387021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242027237107818,0.07978167968625925,0.0,0.0570964848965092,0.0,0.0,0.06744118517513584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602764904443983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053591539525298784,0.05168812663088623,0.0,0.06404055051380574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934069573531388,0.0,0.0,0.04757945919856248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278937861557404,0.09006177282922438,0.0,0.15552012918497854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940575339178542,0.051946873301034584
mentalhealth,wolfie7899,2019/02/10,Soo! So I have been becoming more and more suicidal. Normaly when i get this way i start smoking or self harming to keep me going till i either come out of it or what usualy happens ( i go to hospital). This time how ever I am still trying to hold on longer than usual as my husband had an amputation this past fall and is still needing help with planning rides to appointments and such.  I am scared tho that i will break and sh. and make him nervous. I have many plans in my head the easiest being to overdose. Then we do have fire arms in the house. Or i could od and slice a vein So its a double wammy. Just wish his appointments would spread out some more so i can squeeze in a hosp stay.,1.6106079027355626,3.7383291134751775,2.8158713272543068,92.8125,80.56028368794327,6.014387031408307,22.128166160081054,7.1686216300943375,0.6199357649442754,539,17,117,7,14,173,102,141,0.114,0.8290000000000001,0.057,-0.8461,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,2,11,3,0,2,6,0,14,4,3,2,1,26,24,18,2,4,5,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,11,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,2,2,17,0,16,18,6,24,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,4,10,87,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241853834395184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485703478696246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207018538122173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836151562577123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605336543814248,0.0,0.2307266335868735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950248708568262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20832525864912416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605923632932942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342220322987344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804259346699512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549672223696232,0.2057989681522195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505137586628972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193775952739992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20322738347118188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21176177928550186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367664678603367,0.21635924709357374,0.32421452770983084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22203700070973015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183645082497069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781619475680312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22356368645814104,0.0,0.0,0.1611232061666199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23342731237838504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419754932424916,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RudeStarr,2019/02/10,"Hopeful. 2018 has been a very rough year for me. It introduced to me my very first girlfriend, and just as swiftly 11 months later she was gone. My first true love I’d say, gone because of my emotionally abusive and repulsive behavior.

I am not perfect. My insecurities and demons tear me apart everyday. My nightmares feel so real and I wake up wanting to cry more often than not.

But I will continue to push on. I leave for USMC Boot Camp next month. I have pushed myself to meet physical standards I never thought I would meet. I crave to accomplish more.

I will meet new people. I will not let my insecurities sour relationships with people I care about. I will learn to love myself.

2018 has been a rough year for me. But it has taught me many lessons and shown me real pain. But I am still hopeful for the future, and I will find real happiness soon. Goodnight 💕
",2.2277907343208305,4.880512844311379,3.312146233848093,86.97116924046647,82.23353293413173,6.390040970690197,23.759533564450045,7.669130373188453,1.3223844311377242,683,25,133,12,19,219,100,167,0.081,0.731,0.188,0.961,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,5,8,11,0,2,3,0,16,4,1,0,3,31,27,11,0,4,7,0,3,0,1,6,1,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,5,0,0,4,4,3,0,2,7,5,29,8,17,13,2,22,1,0,0,2,9,3,0,3,15,89,31,3,0.0,0.16923900927852392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087072377567124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563228954968474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569002205525201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067289444436514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222290137612934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305508323101136,0.2429949067462014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205311077827266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837396142031719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124422470949106,0.0,0.14606095978554615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578327324323189,0.0,0.0,0.14481474479145032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22802296348902595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016503926591303,0.1379532894894943,0.15190923774243964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519891067952503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980509917706378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4877408329546242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335395498589452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359006524865226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407016397976386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133969721489236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357116940563453,0.08424922281761328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146761906745014,0.0,0.0,0.18396525631587732
mentalhealth,UnknownVillager,2019/02/10,"Has anyone else had this, or know what it is? Every since I was little, around 7 is the first time I remember it happening, I have random times of... irritation.

But it's more than that, it's really hard to describe. Everything I think, and any voices I hear sound like they're screaming. But it's not the volume, it's the tone, and the feeling you get when you are being yelled at. Even if I'm in a nearly quiet room I feel screaming. (Sounds crazy ik) like I'm not actually hearing anything, like no auditory hallucinations (I've had those before this is different) but in my head I hear screaming

I feel annoyed and irritated and anxious, but it's different from my normal anxiety attacks. It's not triggered by anything, but it's more common when I'm feeling depressed or anxious.

Does anyone else have this happen to them? Or know what it is?

It's not misophonia (sorry about spelling) because it's not triggered by a sound",4.699410256410257,6.039062633333337,5.871111111111107,77.63115384615384,69.8888888888889,8.427350427350428,30.512820512820515,8.841846274778883,2.5649102564102564,734,30,134,13,13,245,101,180,0.205,0.75,0.045,-0.9815,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,1,1,5,9,2,0,6,0,12,1,1,2,0,31,28,15,0,2,14,0,5,3,0,0,0,12,1,0,19,5,0,0,8,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,17,13,3,13,24,2,13,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,5,9,88,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.123937662292024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636713009262753,0.0,0.09715777417880864,0.2869569220364617,0.0,0.17760841256050744,0.2602613788342683,0.20902707408215246,0.11306055833176724,0.0,0.14448547680290574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774205088402569,0.0,0.10807111845964204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093884286834282,0.0,0.0,0.2653844659695461,0.0,0.0,0.11114212696462854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121912253845081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388499755770801,0.0,0.10700641570656964,0.0,0.11414307854354765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568683171720729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802960623981428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663543903125921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22461857841016056,0.0,0.11377071024397195,0.0,0.1303428275686204,0.0,0.4294284882769238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395962427169357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614333595007265,0.12729145412065646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443703365447445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136206627935418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387086556903456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050590880533534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421706704670375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137908677014259,0.0,0.0,0.14811420169669334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RhiniAwayn,2019/02/10,"Decision time It has reached the peak. I can go on but do I really want to? The struggle has brought me here after 5 miserable years
""It will get better"", really? I have so much evidence to the contrary, please please for the sake of the effort I have put in to make it this far, give me a 'good' reason to carry on. ",1.4498974358974372,3.2687407846153853,3.5211538461538474,89.11301282051281,79.61538461538461,7.410256410256411,21.602564102564106,8.344100000000001,1.1552564102564102,241,7,53,5,6,82,47,65,0.104,0.7609999999999999,0.134,-0.1582,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,2,6,0,7,0,0,2,0,5,13,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,2,10,11,1,10,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,37,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23057673111888444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621016880492326,0.25009670408333395,0.14816745125825478,0.21867110519218133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402589094803642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19165178325388665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5723623881147755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26208547048592123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340348914373217,0.2680532110838855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725506065926908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202204647251874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377346107268625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16788863585161867
mentalhealth,anpan-girl,2019/02/10,"Emotional spirals My mom used to take out her emotions on me as a kid. She'd lecture/yell at me for hours while I'm sobbing and hyperventilating. Then, she'd apologize at the end and try to hug me. I was repulsed by her 180° personality transformation.

And then I realize I did this to my ex. I dump my emotions on my him and apologize profusely at the end. And when I try to deal with my emotions on my own, I can't. I feel like that kid hyperventilating and sobbing. 

How can I desensitize myself to these spirals? I don't want to burden anyone with this. It's not healthy.",1.6408974358974362,3.8799249914529943,4.2483974358974335,81.96951923076924,81.13675213675214,7.318803418803419,26.84401709401709,8.344100000000001,1.9710119658119656,452,20,95,10,12,159,70,117,0.146,0.767,0.087,-0.7707,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,3,0,7,1,0,2,0,15,12,12,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,9,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,24,2,18,8,1,14,0,2,0,1,13,7,2,0,8,68,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256439339277048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071268024083326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7886948588861639,0.3105036147664935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863011898518974,0.1252247075369623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262188946808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563612772585646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052934252196316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305340691156544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179363007704814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380160489165249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139125250914748,0.0,0.0,0.10338851666796617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AshleyMDS,2019/02/11,"Something I feel like I can not discuss with anyone- Ventish The older I get the more a memory from when I was around 13 haunts me. I tried so hard to forget it but I can't seem to. I'm going to be very vague because I don't really want to talk about it but I do, I know weird. But the memory that haunts me is that when I was younger I felt sexually assaulted by someone close to me, two people actually. I'm not even sure if it's classified as sexual assault but I felt violated and I'm sure they knew they were pushing boundaries I was uncomfortable with because I told them no, I was in so much distress I cried and I hate crying, I hate looking weak, I hate feeling weak and they seemed not to care at all. People that everyone said I'm an asshole for hating and I never explained to anyone why I hated them because I didn't even really understand why I hated her myself. As I've gotten older I remember this memory a lot more often and it kind of solidifies why I despised her so much. I don't even know where I'm going with this, I don't know what I want to accomplish by posting this, I just wish I could cancel the memory from ever happening. ",2.409125000000003,4.003524995833338,4.77416666666667,82.20750000000002,76.125,7.966666666666668,24.916666666666664,8.697196308434329,1.817941666666666,909,31,185,19,20,319,125,240,0.368,0.593,0.039,-0.9983,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,5,1,15,19,10,1,7,0,15,2,0,0,5,44,50,17,0,5,9,0,5,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,11,10,0,0,13,0,0,3,10,14,0,1,12,7,41,5,23,36,6,15,0,0,1,0,12,5,0,5,7,131,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.09733215706547027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948149083816194,0.0,0.0,0.08879002409718294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824023058166104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169189570571853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963452340694742,0.0,0.2191200991753637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763260674916408,0.0902208226916071,0.0,0.0953061426540706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086339749262888,0.07125449901691673,0.19153268230355214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211019653308698,0.0,0.11336943596233424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820002874560982,0.0,0.08934772880276459,0.5908374544139858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386418677959718,0.16444400157225691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048728078498833725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837567420698094,0.0,0.0,0.084795646747219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664121157620422,0.0,0.0769258776201796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829474810723671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955236483887347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779239607753906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298633059348588,0.0,0.09487587727335056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18159966861845095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450964291939997,0.07678496525856157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18800812787846,0.0,0.0,0.08016748490919001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953061426540706,0.0,0.06771712490734691,0.0,0.0974317922565544,0.10383318260727094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229620327577959,0.11765884072204524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700003546397569,0.0,0.1146964367794888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bitter_truth_,2019/02/11,"How should I talk to myself? Hi, I enjoy talking to myself to dispel loneliness, but am worried it might have long term consequences. What point-of-view should I use when alone? Should I refer to myself in 2nd person (i.e. ""you need to start doing laundry more often""), or how most neurotypicals do - first body, diary style (""I have a lot on my plate today, I need coffee."").

Which is mentally unhealthier long term?",3.89212406015038,6.308685618421055,4.636390977443612,81.15973684210526,74.39473684210526,6.974436090225563,21.383458646616546,7.957251820313856,1.1691300751879696,321,8,56,5,7,103,58,76,0.105,0.867,0.028,-0.6848,0,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,0,10,1,1,3,0,15,14,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,11,1,7,10,5,10,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,5,8,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398723595063565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25726032984076164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19700262484585765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099252959857262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969018191285648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23340280927185195,0.24569571879675065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434635265488357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20222807027767398,0.0,0.0,0.218941064191302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393082009986093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372309763982052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953393556375375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20003188082925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23520555892400594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PowerSalt,2019/02/11,"A Quick Little Rank Well here we are, and let's just jump into it. It's currently 11 PM and I'm going to rant about my mom because her relationship with me is extremely toxic I’m going to divide this into numbered parts, all explaining why I dislike my mom 

1. Control freak

My mom is a giant control freak, she limits everything i do and monitors everything i do for no reason, I did nothing that should cause her to mistrust me she also does this with every single one of my siblings this plays into number 2. 

2. Helicopter Parent

She's not a helicopter parent as much as she's a control freak but it really makes me paranoid all the time because i'm afraid she's going to use something against me 

3. Restricting My Social Life

Since she restricts most of my online accessibility, it's hard for me to do anything with my friends anymore. I'm a big introvert and I like to play games with my friends and be creative and build things on games, and because of her restrictions it's like being grounded forever and you can't see them at things like school either. 

4. Living Through Me

My mom has make me and my siblings do many things that she did when she was a kid for some reason, and at this point she's living through me. For example, she made me get a job at a big company that she worked at when she was my age and she requires all my siblings to do one sport 

5. Takes Anger Out On Us

My mom tends to take all her anger out on me and my siblings all the time whenever she is irritated and/or mad i dont know why this is but she doesnt like hit us she just yells 

(So the next points will have to do with my broken family, my parents divorced when i was 4 so ive been dealing with this for a while)

6.  The Child Support Money

My mom gets a LOT of money from child support and I know this because I recently found a check to my mom worth half a million for kid expenses and she doesn't use it on us at all. Maybe like a fraction sure, but not a lot. She mostly uses it for luxurious things like cars and houses. Our current house could've been bought with that check, or something similar to it for all I know. 

7. Impact On Me

All of this stuff has turned me into a negative, really fucking depressed person with a hint of social anxiety. Now please note, I am not diagnosed because of my fear to tell the doctors because I'm afraid of telling them and the judgement that comes with it, and anxiety and depression are closely linked. I started feeling depressed around maybe 12 when I noticed my feeling of hunger was no more, and to this day I don't really feel hungry anymore, honestly I need help but I can't get it because I’m so afraid and scared. The only ones who are helping me through this are two really good friends who I don't deserve. If there's anyway to get out of here please help me. ",3.3666937799043057,4.784791345614039,4.533149920255184,85.63561004784691,73.26315789473685,7.497607655502392,27.691387559808607,8.07648339933343,1.7353157894736841,2217,84,451,33,44,728,247,570,0.133,0.735,0.133,-0.446,6,0,2,0,1,0,40.0,5,1,2,7,19,32,4,5,23,0,39,5,0,12,9,94,79,37,0,3,12,10,4,6,3,2,3,1,0,5,32,40,1,8,11,5,7,6,13,15,1,6,11,6,82,17,67,62,18,48,0,3,1,1,63,26,1,7,22,316,114,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745887030270878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079885527896277,0.0,0.11771031142978652,0.0,0.0,0.04883659390457208,0.052830405803820674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532368380223961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096455542611084,0.0,0.05112121162911612,0.0,0.0,0.19968431637661116,0.047382847683182114,0.0,0.0,0.03827317618930098,0.06118298546316703,0.15334353101184114,0.0602348082007184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074301201099357,0.05193397021984533,0.0,0.06955291692925962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000145451963504,0.0,0.1066724815113292,0.0,0.05594600400504685,0.0667806021871369,0.09002116410828942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506968262153477,0.13755141440930585,0.054864299955898664,0.12402306936403587,0.0,0.10118287558551983,0.04977649959086617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053162242248445686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193348558660252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369543306728663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889161814252013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784481334927457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068517224747725,0.04191774260948497,0.1739603646226845,0.059480151838797186,0.10480697985985224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090747183827237,0.0,0.05615449653115102,0.07922765727974912,0.06016739684955344,0.1192418048399092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4865361547352479,0.0,0.0,0.0436260424180952,0.04400421017704106,0.0,0.0,0.06311500535063018,0.0,0.0,0.056943962237771935,0.06756566563175068,0.0,0.0,0.12064289092669038,0.04513520789134985,0.0,0.0,0.19768969451153245,0.06426579332659252,0.0,0.0,0.051818524066373606,0.0,0.1302878866999067,0.11220205768997978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207393425255686,0.12203487552798505,0.058596886474456364,0.06371525414330334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941556822074427,0.0600611881380669,0.04729097436084237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049091516415043966,0.0,0.0,0.12099128046421942,0.0,0.09137469925229548,0.0,0.0,0.04200531179920386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793682206609993,0.0,0.13468997858579626,0.05593277956183584,0.0,0.08924141617949442,0.0,0.10374181122769363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770703444457848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921010736550237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645512642908613,0.05797229109289805,0.0,0.21415732140259755,0.153767330369519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335906372568193,0.0,0.10710083291325076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04320449971507452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abajotohyo,2019/02/11,"I do things when I (Think) sleep that hurt me and my relationships. Backup Account.

Idk if this is where I should even post this.

25, Male

Sometimes I wake up and realize I told a complete lie. Usually something that will hurt me.

Example:

This past weekend I went out of town with my Mother and Stepdad. Me and my step dad went out to a bar, got drunk, went back to the hotel, fell asleep. 

At some point I woke up and texted my Significant Other(S/O) and told a whole story about how I invited people back and almost Cheated on my S/O but I ended up not. Rightfully my S/O is very upset with me just because I would even invite people back to my hotel room and even get close. I tried to explain that it never happened, but I mean why would they have any reason to trust me. After all, I texted them at 4am apologizing and telling a story.

Now I understand I was drunk which obviously effects things. But why would I lie about something that could(And it looks like it is) ruin maybe the greatest relationship I will have ever been in. 

I have other examples if anyone wants another one. 

——-That’s The Main Q, here comes some backstory stuff——————

I used to get really suicidal almost randomly for no reason at all. I would get really depressed for about a week then I would be fine. I changed a lot of things in my life to help with that including finding someone that could help me through it all. 

Is there a part of me that just wants me to be alone or sad all the time? Is that even a real thing? 

I’m not financially stable(that’s a whole other thing) so therapist/psychologist or not something I can really afford at the moment. Idk what to do. ",3.0251714285714257,4.934347990769233,4.258631868131868,85.20390384615386,75.24615384615385,7.473626373626374,24.83791208791209,8.306716005460428,1.5552527472527469,1287,43,258,23,28,422,174,325,0.136,0.785,0.078,-0.9544,1,1,3,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,2,1,20,10,1,1,14,0,24,7,3,5,7,62,45,20,1,11,12,2,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,1,24,16,3,0,9,6,1,6,5,7,0,1,9,1,41,3,34,25,12,41,0,5,1,0,14,18,0,10,17,189,65,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739982284663575,0.09174199684962517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060237326691199564,0.09288368251147054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061937081613331835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20433728083506267,0.0,0.05399744646612442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370572227745592,0.0763036861796442,0.09287427379128008,0.0,0.0,0.14144758407315236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629368380972892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784554436923491,0.0,0.0,0.2340245876853777,0.08012553385675651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096036625781765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883792650172258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084538757001944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833085731860302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187463951148882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18965309511788386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256655848922693,0.04327563401720343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438475367694071,0.0,0.0,0.07530740977140203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899035220457005,0.09648941056070033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831823106718132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060023990014562635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592333142756093,0.08455947743279676,0.12282021146664655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837365774974158,0.0,0.08483499811628828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082324709887576,0.17023953539329836,0.18214965077149745,0.0,0.1902031897161805,0.0,0.07564669680493798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864380829768105,0.0,0.07505340843661694,0.20457925842280367,0.08760772377234498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140272082325924,0.09689196458733453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742268185127803,0.0,0.0,0.1028480180459054,0.2942425384956959,0.05675838285175351,0.0,0.0,0.05165161529415888,0.0,0.0,0.16928366051567806,0.0,0.060139894788950786,0.0,0.0,0.09221473425144924,0.0,0.0765045385747137,0.09755817598902966,0.07308764235497724,0.10449336577262182,0.0,0.07105340218700712,0.0,0.0,0.2463431890237982,0.1598590503582024,0.19779244928154305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146228736212006,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,olivegarden98,2019/02/11,"Am I going crazy? Recently, I've been having these very realistic dreams. It has gotten to the point where I have trouble separating what happens in these dreams from my real life. Has this ever happened to anyone else? How do you keep track of what is real and what is not?",3.1543396226415084,5.482050094339627,4.3515471698113215,82.74392452830193,76.35849056603773,6.504150943396226,21.92075471698113,7.554174236665415,0.99298037735849,217,6,40,3,5,71,43,53,0.08900000000000001,0.799,0.113,0.3392,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,1,1,7,14,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,5,12,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177452921074147,0.26003352685330783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21200545755655434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295637712521218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423230961437702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488438615240269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22557646568341624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179256404665343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23990959681364266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5777275662282719,0.0,0.0,0.2505828448790929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20939985050121532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JamesParty,2019/02/11,"Voices when I sleep As I’m going to sleep I can hear distinct loud voices that are not usually saying anything disturbing but they are very intrusive and make it hard to fall asleep. Everything online talks about a problem where people hear these voices in a dream state, but i can hear them if i merely close my eyes at night for a second and am fully conscious. I have never experienced them in the day and have never gotten an answer on what they could be.",12.878389513108615,7.514064853932588,11.624943820224715,64.5570411985019,57.76404494382022,14.113857677902622,39.77902621722846,10.504223727775694,4.058974531835206,368,9,66,5,3,118,66,89,0.085,0.8859999999999999,0.029,-0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,1,5,0,9,4,4,1,3,16,16,8,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,1,11,10,0,9,13,0,15,0,0,1,0,9,6,0,1,6,49,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727804440587145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259626083985506,0.0,0.0,0.12325860226896522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176913808533084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861967449073948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120877662772374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6462289456515056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757616782372458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948118676287477,0.0,0.0,0.17935610267113708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250070793487584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287901571635404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519887774886318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38252229704638707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15361752559959013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104951168707604,0.15769659142714246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anerky,2019/02/11,"Sufferer of Anxiety and Crippling Depression, I Feel Like Traditional Methods Aren't Working Hey guys, 

​

**Background:** I had anxiety and depression, mostly felt like disenfranchised with everything and anxiety attacks made me feel extra shitty.  Then around a month or two ago I was forced into non-consensual sexual activity with a female at a party while I was drunk.  I have a hard time opening up about this because, well, toxic-masculinity I guess.  A 180lb muscular guy being forced into sex acts at a college party? I feel like I'd be laughed at.  Now I'm miserable and my depression has gotten worse.  I have a hard time doing anything besides going to class.  

​

I'm prescribed Celexa (Citaloprolam) and on 20mg right now until I work myself up to the maintenance dose, as well as Klonopin (Clonazepam) in .5mg tablets that I can take between .25-1mg according to my psychiatrist.

​

I don't feel like the Celexa is working, I'm still miserable.  The Klonopin helps with my anxiety, but I've had substance problems in the past and to be honest, sometimes I feel like it's a crutch, because once it wears off I'm back to normal.  Lately I've been drinking a lot to try and numb it all.  I can't sleep well at all.  I go to bed around midnight, don't fall asleep until 4 unless I'm off of a Klonopin.  I feel like I'm treading water and eventually I'm gonna give in and drown.  My libido is terrible and I guess I can say I'm having other sexual issues like symptoms of ED as well.  

​

Essentially I feel like these traditional methods aren't working.  I've experimented with holistic methods such as meditation and it doesn't work for me, at least the way I'm doing it.  Should I ask for a different drug?  I've heard good things about CBD, but as a stoner I'm skeptical. I don't want to live this way anymore, and I'm seeking help before this cross becomes too heavy to bear.  

​

I'm open to suggestions from anyone, I'm desperate.",4.40025438596491,6.20284658684211,5.528421052631583,77.98728070175441,71.28947368421053,8.540350877192983,31.08771929824561,9.120678840339163,2.8685771929824564,1573,70,284,33,30,521,197,380,0.151,0.721,0.128,-0.578,1,0,5,0,0,0,70.0,0,0,0,5,14,26,2,2,17,0,26,12,4,1,2,45,59,25,1,4,4,0,10,8,0,2,4,2,1,2,12,22,3,0,8,2,0,5,7,11,4,1,9,12,27,15,48,45,6,41,0,6,0,1,10,20,0,5,22,164,39,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056207813479837214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435154412248533,0.38524136749336696,0.0,0.0,0.1940293298566869,0.0,0.06288419819218531,0.04433670073920557,0.0,0.052179796533088664,0.11289402495966405,0.05927839228436507,0.07213632793423531,0.0,0.04875722606588506,0.0,0.07730647173839439,0.07002971158021838,0.0539559671596526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638409563021173,0.0,0.0,0.0662483914973179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621161946405889,0.07353373447098194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056987475332710674,0.06202568463929903,0.0,0.0,0.2244287159757468,0.271794290145689,0.060882108199739327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060827215460222586,0.07207302883027861,0.05318404526441811,0.0,0.0,0.1397032331152548,0.12556877725465315,0.0,0.0,0.11360313084844208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085002768082231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618200475828066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152755507163046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478255396918329,0.0,0.055990871261628064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390764310342787,0.0,0.05999866020834786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061206342126175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621268716101307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752798797189835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06053059246489479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060673375398954524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05415051647231677,0.0,0.05042498789089486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345429746615364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271263240309616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05063811368362808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590571496474347,0.047675304175285184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042125792931192216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394801790276037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04305021238151269,0.0,0.061940895380527536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03739997887223556,0.10066143906096836,0.0,0.0,0.22804744277151826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23081073271117486,0.0,0.06461868333000538,0.0,0.0,0.38524136749336696,0.0
mentalhealth,wintersellsmid,2019/02/11,"should i go to a psychiatrist if im unwilling to take pills i keep having incidents where im dissociating super hard to the point that i can’t even understand what people are saying to me, subsequently getting really anxious and having mini psychotic episodes wherein i can’t really differentiate beteen reality and what my brain is making up. i got really frantic at work and started crying (something i do very rarely) and just felt so out of it and so stirred up at the same time. i don’t know if i should go to a psychiatrist. im 100% against taking pills for personal reasons. a lot of times i feel i have symptoms that align with OCD or BPD but i also feel totally fine a lot which makes me think im making it up or my brain is obsessing and wants to make me believe im going crazy. i just want any tips or advice that might help me deal with this",4.384980620155037,5.415074901162792,6.122093023255816,76.6994573643411,70.33720930232559,9.454263565891472,28.86821705426357,9.725611199111238,2.6781612403100783,681,25,133,16,12,235,104,172,0.08199999999999999,0.856,0.063,-0.274,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,2,6,0,13,5,2,5,1,38,34,15,0,6,8,0,4,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,9,9,0,1,7,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,2,5,18,2,18,29,4,14,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,8,3,87,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944894148955167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089569500209599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616651135396703,0.0,0.0,0.12653255721794154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619007134671476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410650255725654,0.2500668496172948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303105485860813,0.0,0.11547113098800932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739775376587633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326510198601113,0.0,0.1075413347857507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585174292315755,0.0,0.19096323907751706,0.0,0.089579772428985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033351906278157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507387153920754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6049173073645907,0.0,0.0,0.0995542368690592,0.0,0.0,0.06155442929773947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904434674133483,0.0,0.0,0.2990539648357155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881846704960207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764942059204684,0.09779750914044093,0.0,0.0,0.10587991418336047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21525775159145788,0.1151586915097552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907001851104372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622609526551869,0.0,0.0,0.07927695623610992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641496602031405,0.16842602856347189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176759410444551,0.0,0.0,0.13062078146067693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660003836777492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924149700368152,0.13212563650666445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154019304720182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ajs432,2019/02/11,"Trying to determine if my problem is unique or part of a more common disorder? Through some careful introspection, I've noticed that often when I feel anxious, it is because I do not currently have something to obsess over.  I tend to get stuck on something and it consumes my thoughts for a while.  Not to the point of debilitation, but enough that those around me will comment that I seem stuck on something and it's annoying.  These things are usually hobby or lifestyle related (Lego building, drums, zero waste, decluttering).

I have also noticed that when I do not have something to obsess over I begin to feel depressed, and will actually seek out a new obsession.  The more I try to unfruitfully find something to dwell on, the more anxious I feel and can become noticably depressed, once again to the point where people have made comments.  This is usually exacerbated if I do not have an event or plans in the near future to look forward to.

I realize this is not a serious issue and I do not get to a point where the depression lasts for more than a week or so, but it is unecessary and I feel like now that I've started to identify the cause of the depression, I feel like there has to be a way to combat it.

Is this a common issue people face or could this be some sort of mild obession thoughts disorder?  I'm just not sure if this is something that there is a prescribed methodology to fix.  I just wish that I could relax and didn't feel like I needed something to constantly be mulling over in my head and making myself justification to avoid feeling depressed.

Any suggestions welcome.",6.936533333333338,7.432925453333333,7.194000000000003,73.17033333333337,64.46666666666667,10.133333333333336,36.0,9.994966539143718,3.643699999999999,1276,58,225,26,18,414,148,300,0.19,0.727,0.083,-0.9882,1,1,8,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,14,20,1,5,18,0,28,2,2,4,1,56,52,23,0,8,19,0,7,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,20,10,0,1,13,2,0,1,8,13,0,1,6,8,22,7,37,39,8,36,0,5,1,0,4,17,0,13,22,173,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.08265530392389506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773482331058374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057599128907404935,0.0,0.0,0.19137452785016426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540125122497883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163253501632215,0.09354485993318892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635763143006626,0.08701057070379138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153096640132488,0.0,0.13525264277474625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647613506410288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941478325763564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875180827295669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997892227056807,0.18152979805717848,0.0,0.0,0.07741456715668026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885048531099334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692697463987502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681027739545355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904207376363472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241409085973304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112694488830328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014550022728217,0.05653812799299809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280422147118711,0.0,0.08180410652841219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892956613318753,0.0,0.09020308714488068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172220341795158,0.0,0.11744108813075273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24020756828721615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104677679369779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710799932256783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4564451648979824,0.0,0.0,0.059951329533915534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798290586506974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627113564231828,0.0,0.0,0.13448520182443882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501192840726195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18657089427523915,0.0,0.0,0.06723117948904564,0.0679414956918569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740119942702573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ellisstone,2019/02/11,Another up-and-down day early I was feeling real proud of myself because I pushed through my depression and anxiety to get things done but now I'm  feeling extremely overwhelmed and everything just seems too much for me. I just have to keep telling myself that this feeling will pass and I will feel normal again but in this moment it is extremely hard,9.98,8.33367396969697,8.902121212121212,70.42318181818182,59.3030303030303,12.436363636363636,41.696969696969695,11.20814326018867,4.6894606060606066,286,13,49,6,3,89,50,66,0.08800000000000001,0.7809999999999999,0.131,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,15,14,5,0,1,4,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,5,8,1,6,10,1,8,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26334163189046444,0.19212100740032287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530922901183547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196418211017244,0.0,0.21630605779339093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570028719050662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257079623623533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5079346483741097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121000784587694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249716365928192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223224300387262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18461640716731764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460633589609336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28585169865799204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286279416458005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21950696648503293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684590482182984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xHouse_of_Hornetsx,2019/02/11,Get triggered in my car a lot Hello everytime im in my car i feel angry due to an argument that happened in it. Everytime im in the car i get triggered over it and start screaming and crying at the person who hasnt talked to me in 8 months because of it. This was an episode i had that was triggered because of how someone treated me but i completely lost my shit and got way too angry over it. Ive gone on mood stabilizers since then and i go to therapy but i still get triggered everytime im in the car and sometimes scream myself hoarse. Ive looked it up and the term for it is obsessive rumination. No matter how many times i tell myself to stop i cant. Listening to Maria Bamfords comedy helps somewhat but ive already listened to her albums multiple times. Please help. ,1.3815471167369928,3.826897759493672,3.3675105485232097,86.5534036568214,84.0632911392405,6.549085794655415,25.866385372714486,7.793537801064563,1.753720393811533,618,27,122,12,18,208,92,158,0.19,0.726,0.084,-0.9523,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,1,1,7,0,9,1,1,6,0,20,22,12,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,10,6,0,1,1,0,0,6,3,5,0,0,6,6,19,1,20,16,3,27,0,1,1,0,10,11,1,2,9,79,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902326923997885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19778607007464044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009357688550605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782004746166729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202764316135112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542732078758093,0.0,0.09219823910057763,0.0,0.12974901321657473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345819523468892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747679161123407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5257041064961705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623114671229944,0.0,0.17709165606022448,0.13792093516431825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644743147106705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948930273696815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165173634561926,0.0,0.1780782616676201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665253034230557,0.1341971556566007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745574718702774,0.0,0.16044821123150071,0.0,0.11482622207600747,0.0,0.12955595147803714,0.13563035482877422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130393185412074,0.14179492716947495,0.0,0.18552251662792466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18919357618971708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876949362855727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eomelas,2019/02/11,"Badly Homesick How do I feel better when I’m so far from my home and friends and puppy?

I’m dealing with depression & anxiety and being so far from home (even though I’m with my family) makes me feel awful. 

What do I do?

Should I fly home early?
Meditate?
Help",-0.1744444444444433,2.137551833333333,2.338796296296298,90.31708333333334,95.48148148148148,5.662962962962964,17.86111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.5847111111111118,205,6,42,4,8,70,35,54,0.225,0.636,0.138,-0.6662,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,10,11,8,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,2,4,9,0,4,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492058702931179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595005277243025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920411376027107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034170980717928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23712082025583095,0.19809943118005693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191341991769464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21682437133929988,0.0,0.2325907234083663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769811854920453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416474963778015,0.0,0.6921289431420834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352738133734672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22597470852506765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ceramiclamb,2019/02/11,"Nightly ambition Anyone else get a brief, extremely motivational idea as they’re winding down for the night? 

Example thought: “I actually love photography so much, it’s a shame I haven’t picked up my camera in months; I’d love to go shooting right now....” 

Tomorrow comes and you don’t think twice about it ..but for that moment you felt like you used to about something; you felt that glow in your chest.

I’m dealing with ADHD and depression right now. ",6.962823529411764,7.2924913999999985,6.865882352941178,76.11647058823532,64.41176470588235,10.564705882352943,33.47058823529412,10.355215969177356,3.3088117647058817,359,14,68,8,5,114,66,85,0.08,0.7959999999999999,0.124,0.5908,0,0,1,1,0,0,14.0,0,5,0,1,5,5,0,1,3,0,2,3,1,3,0,13,13,5,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,3,3,8,3,12,10,1,16,0,1,1,2,8,6,0,0,8,37,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.1905340754642627,0.0,0.2346503904215633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652207914877473,0.20005485127837855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818903333214824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129231787542548,0.1681669860496209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16310481496336926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749377764159729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200912440494038,0.0,0.11096404990006847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22041144881712285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538840672852032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524382417361764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584524813706538,0.0,0.14352989040321756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664544129779847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334817869857189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503116010801509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510716091562898,0.0,0.1550052590505115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863175336129144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,enohcsx,2019/02/11,"I feel paralyzed I'm a masters student and having a really hard time being productive. I'm really behind on my research (for reasons that include, but go beyond my mental health), having to plan a phD project, trying to gather all documents to apply to some scholarships, looking for research advisors abroad and studying for the TOEFL and GRE exams... and it's all time sensitive. I'm also in a relationship that was in a very bad place recently, we're working on it, but it hasn't been easy. 

I've dropped some ""extra"" stuff I was doing already, as it was all being too much, but it still is a lot. I feel like I have so much to do and I end up doing absolutely nothing somehow. I also feel bad for all those things I've dropped, as they're still important and if I could manage my time well, I'd be able to do everything.

I feel so much worse at the end of every useless day, and end up having insomnia. I don't know how to overcome this, it's a freaking cycle that repeats itself every day. I've tried to make lists, but all it does is make me more self conscious of all the things I'm not doing, prioritizing doesn't help much either. I just feel paralyzed, procrastinating every day, trying to fill my head with senseless distractions to ignore what's going on in my life for a few minutes, hours, days. How do I stop this? Had I started working on everything weeks ago I would've made substantial progress by now. I just can't overcome the anxiety, I can't deal with this anymore.

Thanks for reading so far into my rant.",5.736504782928628,5.87724091390729,6.738763796909495,76.63204562178076,67.01324503311257,9.492568064753497,32.340691685062545,9.2995712137729,2.8363702722590136,1204,47,227,21,18,404,159,302,0.13699999999999998,0.7979999999999999,0.065,-0.9742,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,5,16,9,0,1,12,0,26,4,1,6,6,45,44,21,0,2,9,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,19,10,0,2,8,1,1,3,6,6,1,0,6,7,22,3,36,34,17,39,0,1,1,0,5,14,0,5,21,160,41,14,0.10384485969240068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920522024770158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459538493658275,0.1660893935557968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794410334288063,0.0,0.10298619686866707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734122404809349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291167053124343,0.0,0.0,0.26788537452280403,0.10705949053037762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908753365149802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759271687003907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624813192487623,0.0,0.18665812787264535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625354062469693,0.07418678851343513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803485373784404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302459707523568,0.0,0.10657478528714967,0.11038222984846034,0.0,0.0,0.06960502049612025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226626884297596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057070419109244284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334869545809616,0.050733353039234784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720352814538894,0.0,0.0,0.08828518618315448,0.0,0.0982605171046142,0.1386345004264564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465119399827527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053516816664442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964194358621213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849577612684218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387296158623018,0.0,0.13305135243711044,0.10676981110074654,0.10253427100902614,0.11149051645579007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833283638153796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350192617684077,0.0,0.16586127818444993,0.08681895256785853,0.0,0.0,0.11887751968279135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956063948078558,0.0,0.0,0.1379798209655665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18165831835463714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115115295265716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568288475973222,0.0,0.0,0.08329808261986771,0.0,0.0933690001297586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512005892847549,0.0,0.10582678374111787,0.07376840887090214,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jellyfish1790,2019/02/11,"Does anyone have any tips from dealing with self doubt? I’ve always experienced it; but just recently have I been able to identify it and start to figure out on ways of dealing with it. The self-doubt real, in every aspect. Socially, that I’ll be “weird” if I go out with friends and that people will talk about me. 
I recently started a good, new job that everyday I envision getting fired from. I’m moving back into my own place soon and I’m pretty constantly thinking about failing at it- of running out of money and getting too depressed to work.

I’m trying to work at having that internal authoritative figure that (healthily) tells off my own brain when I catch myself in these thoughts but I’ve seen a lot of helpful insight on here and was wondering what advice/what any of you practice that helps with these thoughts? ",6.219999999999999,7.032500840764332,6.391598726114651,77.2014108280255,66.07006369426752,9.082547770700637,32.89745222929936,9.120678840339163,2.899403057324841,660,27,117,11,10,211,100,157,0.104,0.779,0.117,0.4871,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,4,8,6,0,1,3,0,7,1,1,0,0,27,20,9,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,13,13,0,0,7,0,1,4,0,4,0,0,5,3,10,2,28,13,3,27,0,2,1,0,10,12,0,4,10,78,23,4,0.14790085107071135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306535618098235,0.0,0.0,0.20115530092874728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034157139347151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372662509867558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510626354311422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982827726749288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049585662986524,0.12738678630596365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942903145822668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461284593847498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426783065330763,0.0,0.15454418060387062,0.0,0.0840554620399357,0.12405221676976215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982696457131204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676877321197826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257400145958336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571951982849006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284356359263065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253582767856756,0.0,0.1545249102773992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504683368546698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683435481355018,0.0,0.0,0.2920684950814121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308585687287632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076629207322348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20936996725870446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887710170597192,0.12927186282969452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476889339149196,0.0,0.23483351012952944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041496941017128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739681136197673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16039216395827727,0.21534716214022506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,laney__,2019/02/11,Who am I? Lately I've been questioning who I am... I don't know what I want and I'm really not sure where I'm headed in life I can't be the only one who feels this.. is there any way to cope from your guys experience? ,-1.6261333333333317,0.16982772000000068,1.8200000000000005,96.85666666666668,91.8,5.7333333333333325,12.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,-0.6794666666666669,166,2,44,3,6,60,38,50,0.121,0.879,0.0,-0.4977,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,7,2,1,0,1,7,12,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,6,1,3,10,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,27,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113661129334302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040385154428832,0.0,0.0,0.15715833581069494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30775754306058617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189877535861685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17081680942475266,0.0,0.3506149393385135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953912953813146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21061753814494327,0.23639021653201794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481860001266741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19911722979859894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929411980041857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332782814145826,0.24671194419230966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,procnesflight,2019/02/11,"anxiety with email i get so anxious about replying to people, email in particular that i dont respond! i need to figure out a way to be able to email bc i know im not gonna be able to avoid it forever. does anyone have any tips for emailing? i know it sounds so silly but even thinking about checking my inbox (its not over run either! i have like 8 emails) makes me cramp up and feel nauseated ",1.4436585365853674,3.4696315975609764,3.5172560975609737,88.10198170731708,80.58536585365854,6.5390243902439025,22.445121951219512,7.6454224807358475,0.9684341463414636,309,10,66,5,8,105,62,82,0.098,0.8440000000000001,0.058,-0.2609,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,15,13,4,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,5,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,2,8,2,13,10,1,6,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,39,12,0,0.5155858241687861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530802031301915,0.0,0.19721087213433114,0.2912326128202776,0.0,0.18025479811316766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255963146008305,0.0,0.3021313730214831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026978712888302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034784216019918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468615655402988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784605825369609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833524852289924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594459522147167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207877061110124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19115017782844926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872114608457412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518328884211606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20462401434023456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wjschwake,2019/02/11,"Getting hurt by people over and over. So I’ve been friends with this guy let’s call him joe. Joe and I have been best friends for 7 years. About 3 years ago for the first time me and joe were not in the same class. Then he and another guy became good friends. Let’s call that guy bob. Then next year we were all in the same class and a lot of the time they would team up on me, a lot. It got annoying after a while but it was fine. This year we are all split up into different classes. They would do the same thing but now they will get mad at me for no reason and would a lot of times kick me out of that friend group. They would do that constantly and bring me back in the friend group. Now I’ve been hanging out with a different group and they joined a bigger friend group and turned most of the people in that group against me. Now they always make fun of me when they can and I just try to brush it off. It’s hard and now like 10 minutes ago they sent me a text saying they don’t want to be my friend blah blah blah like what they’ve done for the past what seems like 10 times. It’s just annoying and idk what to do and I just don’t really fit in anywhere. At this point I just don’t know what to do. If anyone could give some advice that would be great.",1.4528964194373373,2.882087691176473,2.1236445012787755,100.90063938618928,78.33823529411767,5.759846547314577,17.34079283887468,6.280692351149826,-0.6779356138107421,980,15,249,7,23,302,130,272,0.076,0.74,0.185,0.9889,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,9,3,12,19,3,0,15,0,28,0,0,2,2,49,39,21,0,8,8,0,1,6,7,6,0,1,0,3,18,20,0,0,3,1,0,3,5,4,0,1,9,3,25,15,35,19,11,46,0,1,0,0,34,19,0,7,27,165,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181625416828597,0.16657906958916496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818193159890878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852485508181234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569875165522536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224914874795126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860482536456563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188655666030796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153697050632313,0.0,0.07501911178402508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963356112644488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615331434031836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992200560143403,0.0,0.0,0.5081507906147185,0.0,0.09818004783744633,0.09013463013196804,0.0,0.07880887218920922,0.07514809226786423,0.1035908138307528,0.0,0.2791043912253309,0.0,0.0,0.08416936484256768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058571757207803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163775043109543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192160156810591,0.0,0.13771177417277697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396433291734885,0.0,0.0,0.06271877660875079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992712285481374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896950899726788,0.13027954112795348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888222122541384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06019293916972784,0.09660613931434224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472046186179544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855373100584222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062422597124339736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21915444237345225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379241497003614,0.10220108643565287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541981886047091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.333731094534544,0.0,0.0,0.2420276612810386
mentalhealth,jg658190,2019/02/11,"What's wrong with me I don't know if it's the right place to write this but I don't know what else to do. 
I don't even know how to put it in words. I have no idea when it started, one day I just realised that this is my life now. I couldn't care less about most people. But once in a while there's someone who I get extremely attached to.  I over idolize them and think about them way too much(but when they do something even the slightest bit bad I hate them until they do something good again and then I love them again). They have always been female aged usually around 35-50 I think. And mostly they're some kind of authority figures (like a teacher or a therapist). I think this could be because I pretty much raised myself - my father was always drunk or at work and then left us completely, and my mother was rarely ever home because she was working so much and when she was home she was too tired to pay me any attention. She'd often come home and just take it all out on me. She yelled at me a lot, made me listen to all her problems and sometimes hit me. But I was never allowed to cry or talk about my problems because that's a sign of weakness. 
I've learned how not to get so attached to people for the most part. But there is one person I got too attached to and I really can't forget her even though it's been over a year. And it's really starting to mess with my life. She was a teacher in my school and she was the only one to notice I was not okay. So she'd check on me once in a while and sometimes talk to me when she had time. She's still the only person who's ever noticed I have an eating disorder. She told me that it's not worth it and that I'm beautiful just the way I am. I felt like someone actually cared about me for the first time ever. But then I had to drop out in 10th grade to be homeschooled because of all my mental health issues. 
The thing is I can't get over it. It's starting to feel like every single thing I do is to either impress her or make her feel bad for me in my thoughts. I know she can't hear or see me but still. Every decision I make I think about what she'd think about it. I just want her to like take care of me and love me and listen to my problems, and be proud of me. I guess I kind of want her to be my mother. And I know that that is impossible and irrational but I can't help it. And it's killing me because I think I'm usually quite logical and rational. I'm now 18 but I'm still in high school(11th grade). And every cell in my body is telling me that this is wrong and fucked up. But I'm thinking about going back to the same old school (that I otherwise hated) just to see her again. After a year. And I know this is bad and lowkey manipulative, and this isn't really me but it's all I can think about. Like I'm even dreaming about it. I could just stay in my current school, move on, just live my life. But instead I'm deliberately fucking my life up just because of a person I'll probably never actually see again. And I think I won't be able to stop myself. ",2.117435500515996,3.3530302585139324,3.5428792569659464,92.22260577915381,76.13622291021672,6.490815273477813,22.573787409700717,6.965498970235437,0.4529440660474715,2361,64,546,23,51,777,232,646,0.138,0.773,0.08900000000000001,-0.9877,2,0,2,0,1,0,55.0,1,0,7,5,52,31,5,0,20,1,50,14,1,7,9,123,110,59,1,9,29,3,3,5,0,1,7,4,3,3,36,32,2,1,25,2,3,4,16,15,0,4,18,10,100,16,68,79,17,75,0,0,3,4,48,26,2,13,46,387,136,9,0.057271685257537834,0.0,0.11177780654287364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953092601466409,0.0,0.0,0.038946709904896265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098394218159645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044038390792892304,0.1434583948504582,0.2094737265385873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252584706479769,0.06361593134388914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517690023338275,0.0,0.0,0.04933448566778795,0.060048272353117986,0.0,0.0,0.09145356087740067,0.0,0.06291025698424642,0.03693549902280434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563831309125599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586032319103601,0.0478431440905337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513096318819035,0.15541655454390965,0.14476159481101894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791656977562106,0.04091490339140884,0.05498979924682892,0.0,0.0,0.04871526622280771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058935003139048,0.08976627523627938,0.0,0.03254881855836344,0.04803677235732017,0.045805398568469324,0.0,0.06309121817806641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308786439639378,0.0,0.06087712328402176,0.06454935166454474,0.0,0.03838800339281494,0.060510679908304776,0.1723445098832925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465276152227133,0.0,0.05977675975790391,0.0,0.0,0.06336263423134897,0.11927929398270147,0.18885012260147147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06222585360700431,0.0,0.16181074008941018,0.13990026256134627,0.0,0.050571947348320496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048690338751112616,0.10337986396161952,0.05419185336209953,0.07645858926266177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057716388295465715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06087073776110204,0.12630383528656433,0.0,0.08834290871603075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040838651976172,0.06009699954335172,0.12198495130734865,0.11642632840011614,0.0871153947986709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201965404892769,0.0,0.07940995075978928,0.1500222794850041,0.05983672143729143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826589344942827,0.061748563318394074,0.1644038042442631,0.0,0.0575738622294369,0.0,0.0609154869824752,0.0,0.0,0.11006912430388063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04890970628276552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318480122799084,0.13691435448051276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705222613013684,0.08818108270527207,0.11328632230581005,0.0,0.12161158080309473,0.06104399624433737,0.13721172548256452,0.04788169333160905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612235952899086,0.09206562239425783,0.050057977266798837,0.0,0.0,0.06649684079875702,0.07609752569013903,0.3302764504536209,0.05626913998130223,0.04546732078516277,0.06679116048072582,0.0658253771982911,0.0,0.05472554958772991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889078568820416,0.0,0.12615334005686069,0.0,0.06756064764618916,0.09091919595982803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338893793993378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252351943386893,0.0,0.0737621751597896
mentalhealth,zxcghjmko,2019/02/11,How to keep yourself from crying? Ive been having a tough time and honestly just about anything makes my eyes well up. But I am at work and I cant be crying over stupid stuff. Any tips? I hold the tears in my eyes and avoid the person who upset me but its damaging.,1.5801785714285683,3.2919238035714287,2.8958571428571425,94.24914285714287,78.82142857142857,5.908571428571428,18.34285714285714,6.742157984588678,-0.12932428571428595,207,4,47,2,5,67,46,56,0.28300000000000003,0.6579999999999999,0.058,-0.8924,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,1,2,3,0,6,2,2,2,0,11,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,2,7,2,7,6,0,5,0,1,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,33,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054778093578164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486502980521117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6638127750881017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685719240714313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20169281906795566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26383272098994714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34589863266175785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17619076648013013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716763401865809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21997463116157065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,organicspacecow,2019/02/11,"Help? I'm looking for some advice on how to talk to my doctor. I feel like I may have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) because of my extreme irritability and increased sadness before/during my period. But I'm not sure how to bring it up. This Wednesday I have an appointment to get a shot, and my mom typically accompanies me to these appointments even though I am 17. I don't feel comfortable talking about this in general, let alone around my mom. How do I get the help I need?
",4.711244239631334,6.313515086021508,6.212933947772663,74.18225806451615,70.18279569892474,10.04546850998464,31.565284178187408,10.290406445055957,3.509489708141321,385,17,71,11,7,131,66,93,0.156,0.7390000000000001,0.104,-0.6154,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,3,1,15,16,7,0,1,2,2,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,3,13,3,12,14,2,8,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,2,3,49,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043149223273622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21654845232517594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861295050473732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745595107240748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396289146159831,0.21400681271835373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809831922552335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143877866449534,0.14936998575314084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21847600982760745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28028982324715923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21380303448891275,0.0,0.1021481098256085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557829389449098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4897544039576796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503348376061313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970596367256265,0.0,0.0,0.3361083508820382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054244282809045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,meganblankenship,2019/02/11,"photography project I’m doing a creative photoshoot based on mental illnesses 
pls tell me your mental illness and how it affects you creatively, or realistically
as in give me metaphors for how it makes you feel 
or tell me exactly how it makes you feel ",7.4316666666666675,8.728920282608698,7.833478260869569,66.2107971014493,63.56521739130434,11.35072463768116,39.2463768115942,11.20814326018867,4.897211594202898,207,11,34,6,3,68,33,46,0.114,0.7559999999999999,0.13,-0.0516,0,0,0,1,0,0,1.0,0,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,6,1,12,7,7,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,0,22,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071012888744901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913192576468146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4054199238500549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6120796622930863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5308625630502993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,catsandcoconuts,2019/02/11,"has anyone else had an epiphany? is this possible? so I've been in CBT for a year, and I've been in premarital counseling with my fiance for a few months.  I've been making good progress with general anxiety, depression, anger and self esteem issues. 

the other day me and fiance had a huge blowup fight that was entirely my fault. I spent 3 days thinking, crying, feeling really horrible about myself and then, surprisingly, feeling really great. 

-----

I realized that I've spent my entire life driven by fear, insecurity and a general lack of self worth. I invalidate myself, my issues and my experiences constantly. I've always been so concerned about not being accepted or loved that I've actually driven myself away from those things by my fears and doubts. the fear that I'll be rejected, from anything, or that I'm unlovable. I've put on this mask of a persona because it's what I think people want to see, but it always backfires. I hide behind wit, sarcasm and an oftentimes heavy dose of alcohol. 

I've believed that I don't deserve love, and I manifest that belief by acting it into existence. I yell, I rave, I've begged him to leave me with my actions. I wanted him to know I'm not worthy of his love. 

but I am. and I realize that. I'm not the monster that I thought myself to be. I am thoughtful, intelligent, and deliberate. I take care. I deserve to be loved, safe and content. I deserve to have a stable, well paying job, a fulfilling relationship, a healthy family life, supportive friendships, and a life that I am content with. I speak this into existence today because it's been too long. I've spent a long time believing I'm worthless and it ends today. or yesterday, but whatever. 

-----

I have a lot to unpack. I've reached out to a couple of psychiatrists, and we'll see how it goes, but I do feel optimistic. has anyone else experienced this? either way, I would gladly appreciate any advice, feedback or experiences. 
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mentalhealth,atternieh,2019/02/11,"Why is it that at night everything gets scarier and more depressing? I feel like between the hours of 11 pm to 4 am at night everythings just awful. I could be in my room all night watching a movie but all of these negative thoughts will enter my head, about myself, about the state of the world and humanity, but in the morning what I was stressing or crying over at night doesn’t feel as bad. Why is that?? For example I’ll read a very distressing piece of news, could be anything, and at night it makes me feel just awful, but during the day I’m much, MUCH more calm and can handle negative or distressing thoughts or news much better. Does this happen to anyone else?? And for the record, YES I want to be able to fall asleep at 11 but I have trouble sleeping and insomnia and bla bla bla haha so its hard for me :) I dont WANT to be up late at night",3.937697495183045,4.816613670520233,4.560823699421967,88.04138969171484,71.25433526011561,8.078805394990367,25.977360308285164,8.344100000000001,1.431536030828516,667,20,144,10,12,213,101,173,0.222,0.6679999999999999,0.11,-0.9767,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,5,10,0,3,8,4,15,4,3,1,2,30,26,16,0,4,9,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,8,7,0,0,5,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,3,5,11,4,26,16,8,24,0,1,1,0,1,12,0,3,10,95,19,1,0.11780384326882645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237118628934995,0.12070395884303682,0.09694252547228294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836128845964943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041879261434972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18811356612837607,0.0,0.12940199018848236,0.07597373323959691,0.0,0.10146427758777772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309093711064073,0.0,0.13806522695382092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984099947921004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117489965887144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17869548829848678,0.08415908916957049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154764593363748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417354954945628,0.0,0.10552910453591513,0.0,0.1209007296034218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601305584264013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288786638147534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755300731918093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863498014377628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597981384595589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6633055599395667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783572266185613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788891979556936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494390444680124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18704618547692575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720050811330692,0.138967517904575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21259929066886687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lawyer696969,2019/02/11,"A work in progress ​

To you, to the outside world I’m perfectly normal. I own a home, I have a career. I can bench press 250 lbs and run 7:00 minute miles. I graduated undergrad and law school *cum laude*. I’m single. I have a dog and a yard for him to run around in. I have friends. I like to golf. I travel. 

My downfall isn’t what you see. It’s what hides behind the veneer. What lurks just beneath the surface. To see all that I have, to experience all that I’ve done and consider myself a failure - someone who never reached full potential, someone scared to waste that which was given to me.  To be blessed with ability, knowledge, and skill…but at what cost.

A year ago, I was 30, an attorney. I was living a miserable existence. I was simply going through the motions, working at a job I hated for a boss I disliked. I wasn’t suicidal, but every day I woke up hoping to get in to a car crash on the way to work, hoping to somehow injure myself accidentally. I quit that job with no plan, no job lined up, no idea what my next step might be. Turns out my next step was my best step. Admitting to myself I needed help. 

Therapy started as  weekly sessions simply addressing my negative thoughts about work, my future, a career change, or even selling the house and traveling the world. As time progressed my sessions began to focus on me – my thoughts – perceptions of the world – of people. I’ve changed in this year, become a more positive person, more receptive to the world. 

As it turns out, I took 6 months off from work. I emptied what little I had in savings and retirement accounts, borrowed from family and would do it all over again. My physical health was never better. My mental health never more clear. I read books for leisure (something I practically swore off after high school). I walked slower, observed my surroundings, and simply enjoyed life. 

Flash forward another 6 months– I’m 31, and still an attorney. I work a great job with an even better boss. However, life is still a struggle. I still feel I am on an impossible quest to be perfect. I battle alcoholism, fear of failure and a whole host of other shortcomings, but I am learning to accept myself. 

On this journey, I am (albeit slowly) learning (that which is already known) that perfection doesn’t exist. To see myself for what I am.  To accept my accomplishments as exactly that.  My story may not be unique and it isn’t a fairy tale, but it is my story and that’s what makes it great. I share it here, in hopes someone may read it and realize no matter who you are, you can always ask for help.  That you don’t have to be the best person, but can always take steps to be a better person. To step out from behind the veneer. To take what life gives you and not be burdened by it. To hope.  ",2.919384328358209,5.1450803488805965,4.111322388059701,84.67994626865675,76.66791044776119,6.899940298507463,25.272238805970147,7.908726449838941,1.5731302686567168,2161,78,409,35,50,705,252,536,0.123,0.721,0.156,0.982,7,0,2,0,0,0,89.0,0,6,0,19,11,29,2,4,33,0,41,7,0,3,11,71,71,24,1,7,8,0,2,1,1,4,7,0,3,3,34,22,1,0,13,7,4,16,15,7,0,0,15,5,60,22,72,45,12,69,1,1,3,0,19,33,0,9,22,291,94,26,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536192814612066,0.07880065190729127,0.0,0.0,0.08136877895965773,0.0,0.12270741595798132,0.07989220784927366,0.08959650632931057,0.0,0.07731793093030027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564008356406613,0.06893258743285036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143488766097869,0.0,0.0,0.15476137611369456,0.19563874310183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560044211625117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04755319299754948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545685107286768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974029905867239,0.0,0.062125202391618485,0.0,0.0,0.0721273092051889,0.06951111433070373,0.0829727548241795,0.037282802360348914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056967739182306014,0.0,0.038523670758641694,0.0707336549867014,0.04190549178156357,0.0,0.0,0.16258694077000022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279838073938273,0.0,0.1567544324159995,0.0,0.0,0.09884648549093912,0.0779054328822246,0.07396255596355762,0.2929433117909849,0.0,0.08508068008420974,0.0,0.08323822143556031,0.0,0.0,0.29268378141577944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624434939536025,0.036023361600611384,0.073902179581964,0.06510965429306402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921891063774325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430787790470204,0.07822154125314007,0.0,0.0,0.05885484326576927,0.0,0.0,0.05467381878378101,0.17060771477100828,0.0,0.15683673681197555,0.0,0.07224497568440884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511187991811712,0.19314855894807545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842660815896622,0.14751058353479665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382193650941209,0.14924819706967665,0.1762725533700505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874271376633673,0.05676506552717341,0.0,0.0,0.05219025170605431,0.0,0.1766554083747632,0.0,0.0,0.07708418487082437,0.0,0.08065449197429785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110879595306345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432278503025964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707524401083227,0.042995668515393264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192267352379358,0.0,0.16040574808198138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852767915752745,0.059146040446656764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823228715667937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32208122521399235,0.0,0.0,0.05237946850079393,0.0,0.08959650632931057,0.09496628024781474
mentalhealth,Alien_Butterfly,2019/02/11,"Just been diagnosed with PTSD & BPD... I have just been diagnosed with PTSD & BPD. Feeling a little overwhelmed, lost and alone in all of this. If anyone has any info, tips, advice etc. Docs didn't tell me much! :(",1.7397560975609778,4.397217121951222,2.2860487804878065,93.27785365853659,85.09756097560975,5.231219512195122,17.956097560975607,6.742157984588678,0.07335707317073137,166,4,33,2,5,51,34,41,0.19,0.7759999999999999,0.034,-0.701,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,9,7,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,1,2,0,4,3,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,20,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18270382183650852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19364336878536506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051613982969921,0.0,0.1271452471895496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307329854177757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4709615086050492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795389471718603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085197198510387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945370815464746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873919323466048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20409861462475684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744363685415778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371132215997336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341903870539393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sassy_person13,2019/02/11,"I have questions but I have nobody to ask.. hello reddit! To start, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and major depressive disorder (shocking!) but the past couple of months my mental health has seem to sink to even lower lows. 

first question: is this an eating disorder or am I being dramatic? 

I eat one ‘thing’ a day (a bowl of cereal, an apple, hummus) because most of the time it feels like I can’t swallow and my stomach hurts, and if it’s not that then I just avoid food as much as possible. But I’ll still eat around friends and family as to not cause suspicion but I can’t think about it and eat really fast.

second question: am I body dysphoric or something similar? 

I actually cry some times over how much I hate the way I look. I take pictures from every angle to ‘prove’ to myself that I don’t have any good qualities (physically) and will have panic attacks in the morning trying to figure out an outfit that I can hide enough of my body so I’m comfortable-ish at school. 


I don’t know if this is an appropriate post for this sub, I just don’t know where else to go. ",4.716152823920268,5.327067967441863,5.986262458471763,79.49680232558141,69.32558139534882,9.491694352159467,27.915282392026572,9.606745405546679,2.401551495016611,843,27,167,18,14,284,138,215,0.196,0.743,0.061,-0.9848,1,1,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,9,11,2,2,10,0,18,11,3,2,1,36,30,20,0,2,12,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,10,9,6,1,10,0,0,1,7,8,0,3,1,2,20,3,25,27,6,20,0,3,1,0,6,7,0,10,11,115,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.10935493215421783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620501691713448,0.0,0.08572601424855328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997576479743241,0.1047614874587102,0.12748505354105258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831107134829477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24894801825870685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511705364696086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399286747003466,0.12309325253538499,0.07226978439895783,0.0,0.09651758776075132,0.1137390996881882,0.0,0.0,0.2568621982059902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4586636755744353,0.09361221047145944,0.0,0.0,0.1157885041227492,0.0,0.07401493659825331,0.0,0.09441584675113733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564071367973422,0.0,0.056661181269367575,0.08005607951785569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953186468304237,0.13550406222243905,0.0,0.08657770317575685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368659316614059,0.0939910729063642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063659344388402,0.0,0.11911512477058145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996313677675795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231710956055094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474712447460763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410263907273116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129306777694957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944566212138035,0.0,0.1647547966304864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593512902626734,0.0,0.0,0.13147891097081296,0.0,0.0,0.10697447516726788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633143304477482,0.10732303078053612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37660038775921467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178885799008924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341125952062288,0.0,0.102015716283988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626968639630449,0.0,0.0,0.07931703426767273,0.0,0.0894917002160219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425558771044239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444805025546054,0.0718038758190605,0.0,0.0,0.13068681608222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608175779912615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894844883084628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tyrannosaurusfox,2019/02/11,"Some books or shows to read/watch when you’re feeling depressed? Hi all. 

I’m in the worst place I’ve been in a long time. None of my usual coping mechanisms have been working. I’m desperately trying to distract myself but any book or show I try to get into has only served so far to make me feel worse.

What are some things that you can get into, or at least don’t make you feel worse, when you’re in depressive episode? I don’t know what to do and I’m scared. ",1.4126077097505672,3.2014464285714297,2.624013605442176,95.64400226757373,79.61224489795919,5.580045351473924,19.05215419501134,6.42735559955562,-0.2061124716553282,362,8,84,3,9,116,67,98,0.235,0.753,0.012,-0.9711,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,2,2,0,9,0,0,2,1,16,20,8,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,3,7,0,12,18,6,13,0,2,0,0,3,8,0,5,5,48,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536327244973224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3682201769238741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32424852313092795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233602368609573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747621254323146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916975719884246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853712359593492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257315315732462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233323857657674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138165849008512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21400978800258824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201180775806074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464443956757627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29025630423873633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354250511263822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556189076645535,0.0,0.43567683341314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,redthat1336,2019/02/11,"Hello Reddit world, you guys seem really nice:). I need some dog pictures!! :) Hey guys, 

Like many of you I struggle with depression/anxiety. I have my whole life. As a young kid I thought it would just go away on its own. I recently went to the doctor and got on medication. I’m also starting therapy soon. I was at a job for a year and a half where I was just talked down to, whether it was about my physical appearance or at the simple fact that I’m just not really smart. I stayed so long because I convinced myself that I couldn’t do any better. Before I got this job I had been struggling really hard, it gets worse as I’ve gotten older. I met a woman who is now my fiancé. We have been together for about 3 years. I recently quit that job, and I felt really selfish. 

I went out and got a job. I woke up the next day and I couldn’t bring myself to go again. That next week I landed another job. I went the first day and just couldn’t go back. That happened 1 more time. It’s been a couple months since then. I’ve just been doing food delivery in the meantime. 

So, you know where I’m going with this... I got a new job starting Wednesday. Before I applied to any more jobs, I asked myself 1) Is it something I can handle? 2) what are the potential consequences of quitting this job?

If I don’t want to lose the love of my life then I have to power through it, but I must say I’m feeling good about it. Better about my previous ones. I feel like I will excel in it. 

I don’t have any friends out here. My social skills have tanked and I don’t talk to anyone besides my fiancé and some family. 

This is an odd request, but can you guys take pictures of your dogs and post them here? I love dogs. I used to be a dog bather. It was therapeutic to me, the only thing that kept me at that job I hated. Dogs just make me feel really happy. I wish I had the confidence to become a dog trainer. 

TL;DR- Starting new job on Wednesday and seeing cool pictures of dogs chills me out because I used to work with them but was basically forced to leave. Therapeutic :)",1.3176957797336968,3.380564786729857,3.120514556533518,90.58595576619275,81.22748815165879,6.293929135635297,20.711126156623784,7.447530270364453,0.6306491085533734,1588,45,343,24,42,529,203,422,0.064,0.7929999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.9893,11,0,1,0,0,0,60.0,1,5,2,10,21,19,1,2,20,1,34,7,0,3,2,53,79,23,0,9,13,0,5,2,1,3,4,1,0,5,24,17,1,1,7,0,0,9,7,5,0,3,24,8,59,14,43,48,6,57,0,1,1,2,26,18,0,6,30,225,83,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191222067351929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243256028290895,0.06806866859900011,0.04965952815648272,0.0,0.0,0.04538983132808565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068643318802878,0.0,0.06098944879762375,0.04991535748619437,0.0,0.07914273399401381,0.07169312879814325,0.11047516877387943,0.0,0.0,0.11482346211366445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182682348299109,0.0,0.08372915560537794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644289305194337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119575302123911,0.0,0.09846838971659816,0.046375037609796096,0.06232824220140527,0.0,0.0,0.05521636655576974,0.0784950502159449,0.0,0.0501528961338904,0.0,0.03391522440571845,0.0,0.14756996201198247,0.054447327014627685,0.2076726967699992,0.0,0.0,0.19282712260847365,0.05740380897621171,0.06910285003995797,0.05815077420717463,0.06408977572821904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6441777179556344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03567539295920225,0.0,0.0,0.0687352394568905,0.0,0.0,0.09170227148686114,0.0634280362423154,0.0,0.0,0.057447420868986965,0.0,0.07262288675729311,0.0,0.0,0.11717600878711565,0.0,0.04333103171144747,0.06581326446843287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539467864500534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518142528324404,0.0,0.0,0.04813338907361426,0.0,0.1253899433864609,0.1380749294989121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04398784559156977,0.04937051508508387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217028886275368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808943762162254,0.0,0.0,0.2079299292012016,0.0,0.12819076737566235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162273369305039,0.0,0.0,0.051728570048699005,0.05909585765319714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053698067760159084,0.0,0.0,0.06617230889576957,0.0,0.049974467589580206,0.0,0.0,0.13784076622589525,0.06919037776043785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572576945770126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880773668208101,0.10435187052157373,0.0,0.0,0.07423555752861091,0.0,0.04312640778022262,0.0,0.0,0.0515349795955117,0.037852253366752124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213082732628536,0.0,0.0,0.038288341360132434,0.0,0.052070615155698406,0.0,0.0,0.18052958756465096,0.0,0.07247488642511153,0.07464864173833548,0.0,0.0,0.04725863698382085,0.0,0.0661535722796427,0.046113503554387744,0.0,0.0,0.08360581019809718
mentalhealth,snsdunsolved,2019/02/11,"how to validate myself? Hi. I have social anxiety and depression and I find it hard to validate myself. It’s hard bcus I’m not completely stable, and I don’t know much about what’s good and what’s not good in regards to social situations, so it’s not easy to trust myself. It’s easier to trust the ppl around me since they are mentally stable, but sometimes I can get confused. For example, I remember being in class and we watched an episode of Black-ish where one of the kids wanted to convert to Judaism so he could have a bar mitzvah. I commented saying I relate since I’ve heard bad mitzvahs really go all out, and this one girl was like “you can have great parties without being Jewish.....” and I felt like what I said earlier was so stupid and I blamed it on me. I don’t know how to stop blaming myself when I literally know nothing about being social, so if someone reacts badly to smth I said, I take that as completely valid and point the blame immediately towards me. Not only that, I crave validation from others in general. How can I stop this?",2.430313644688645,4.816228235576922,4.270934065934068,82.08358974358977,79.14423076923076,7.423443223443223,24.80860805860806,8.418075326091056,1.9204031135531128,835,31,157,18,21,282,120,208,0.22,0.6709999999999999,0.109,-0.9737,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,1,0,12,12,1,1,5,0,15,1,0,4,1,36,27,20,0,3,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,4,0,2,13,12,1,2,6,1,0,1,7,5,0,2,6,8,26,7,24,17,2,13,3,1,1,0,15,9,0,2,5,111,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350431141630406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044589676309052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259400937705979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837194498175277,0.0,0.0,0.1080262302277652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653389637099397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990944598821988,0.0,0.12366196597840964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068878982461822,0.0,0.07689424301238783,0.2269668400130253,0.0,0.14916898958467048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424048743947988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22307241650258725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220172360603086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635081652598155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946124246677834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982422702639906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18336588516489075,0.10290192754243424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790245741550108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667679675487097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326879397406518,0.0,0.2574030187640457,0.1075961794781754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238435093618885,0.15208313589859188,0.0,0.4137646603589101,0.11463945223637614,0.0,0.1338153945855638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22623411392235174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172894033846352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798035856334563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042460082768867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kianrio,2019/02/11,"Help? I have a deep hole in my chest at times, the only way I can fill it is to listen to music. This usually happens at night but I'm afraid it will happen at school one day. The main problem is that my school has recently put a ban on all music...",0.5422222222222217,2.1479976666666687,2.8257037037037063,94.03966666666668,81.5925925925926,5.801481481481483,18.20740740740741,6.742157984588678,-0.11683259259259238,190,4,45,2,5,65,42,54,0.15,0.8170000000000001,0.033,-0.8225,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,6,1,1,0,1,4,10,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,1,4,0,7,9,2,14,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,5,29,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600573234059862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552469819783436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725339790964542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24155832230440935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744251322903509,0.19576904731630906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24630301151293485,0.0,0.25876437075273984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541576116902021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5210177212777789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500956505641859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28349661108439106,0.0,0.0,0.2043170947793478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChaoticEnygma,2019/02/11,"I went to therapy today. My homework for the next week is to wake up, shower, get dressed in actual clothes (not pajamas), put on shoes, and do my hair and make up. Considering I sleep until 11 every day, and go to bed at 10 pm, and sometimes take a 4 hour nap in between... this is going to be a challenge. I’m also feeling low that I have this assigned as “homework”. Like, I’ve fallen so far down this tunnel that basic hygiene and skills have now been assigned as homework. Wish me luck! ",3.641020408163264,4.645247183673472,5.041428571428573,83.85357142857143,72.06122448979592,7.2326530612244895,29.306122448979593,7.447530270364453,1.738248979591837,376,15,75,4,7,126,74,98,0.047,0.8390000000000001,0.114,0.69,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,3,0,7,4,4,1,0,10,16,10,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,5,5,0,0,1,1,0,5,1,1,0,0,2,2,6,3,16,13,0,21,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,1,8,46,11,6,0.0,0.0,0.2446508275981873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20048780651038944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168326581386525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21122883614864413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676341722468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098243265633644,0.0,0.2849615909967788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24689282658428294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224812548230101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734679019600654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666264262071384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520266496203449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508849406637058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479525530592765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18849812127414264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867017419191064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376379692436913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010995345752541,0.0,0.0,0.2324050133826831,0.0,0.0,0.2882970954993858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ufojelly,2019/02/11,"mental tiredness (any advice?) I recently got diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder, which has been with me for about 7 years now. I can cope with the sadness and the hopelessness. It's annoying but it's whatever. 

The constant fatigue is what gets me though. (and I don't even know for sure if that's entirely due to the depression? maybe its the anxiety. idk)

It's been with me for so long that I can hardly remember a time where I did have energy. Everything I try to do or even think about doing is overwhelming and exhausting, and I'm not moving forward in life because of it.

I can barely keep a minimum-wage job because every time I get off of work I'm too exhausted to fight off suicidal thoughts (I'm not at risk btw) and it takes me a few days to recover and recharge (which generally consist of me sitting around until I feel alive again). I struggle to keep contact with friends just because I'm usually too tired to construct a response. 

I feel like I'm a ghost moving through life. Which is really inconvenient because I'm trying to move out of a toxic household and even just looking online for new places takes a lot of energy. It feels like I'm constantly at no more than 15% battery. It's some shit.

I'm at a loss for how to fix or manage it. So I was hoping maybe someone here might have some advice? 


tl;dr - very mentally tired all the time, need more energy to function but don't know how to get it. help?",3.3852127659574487,5.3256368297872365,4.725833333333334,82.10875,74.31914893617022,8.67163120567376,28.77127659574468,9.2995712137729,2.6906638297872343,1134,48,218,28,24,376,156,282,0.206,0.6829999999999999,0.111,-0.9829,2,0,0,0,1,1,34.0,0,0,0,3,19,19,3,3,14,0,18,9,1,2,2,44,44,18,2,3,9,0,4,2,1,1,8,0,0,0,16,14,0,2,8,0,0,4,5,14,0,0,6,5,17,5,38,37,7,30,0,7,1,0,4,11,1,8,18,141,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003954997205367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697285231680621,0.0,0.07844035225575595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127946885088896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250021865427798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22161165393907148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612773724980987,0.0,0.1766295481994123,0.10407266829093936,0.0,0.0,0.11751602757389193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031737186143264,0.0,0.08639165535226861,0.0,0.0921534418031692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555370230479871,0.14650458516333936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921965804814328,0.0,0.16071369873881566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200802591805832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185281016731224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687282389318085,0.0,0.0,0.10184215364992234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175192755058966,0.18227879388469287,0.0,0.0,0.11270305999542725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484951317732836,0.10018857791117736,0.0,0.0,0.0907418192727985,0.08610506649311374,0.0,0.0,0.08717309939551343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060239448287774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066659046817869,0.1087753145730796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32694109401768284,0.0,0.07602971945887846,0.0,0.09903065628785393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712910608442744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568768369953783,0.0,0.10124269523058256,0.0,0.11615417777898257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525252609309206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687907675323922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071937004002302,0.0,0.11215858950981723,0.0,0.09663969700927423,0.0,0.15418978795306298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570142519685282,0.10074186087641522,0.08140274591870889,0.17937005432710051,0.23570187829603745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923147913298156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129297714282325,0.08460357793388955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464799344159458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603032133029342
mentalhealth,runeman29,2019/02/11,"Why cant be a good person? I feel like I can't be a good person. I cheated on my ex during our 5 years and I feel like that's where I really went wrong. I have a lot of resentment towards my sperm-donors (I refuse to call them the actual word) for disowning me for being Gay. At 25, I didn't think I'd be as hopeless and down as I am. I'm at the point that I'm so afraid of losing my ex totally, the only one understands me, that we're in a court battle with his new boyfriend for harassment towards me. I feel like I can't get ahead and wonder why I create so many negative actions when all I want is happiness and peace.",2.0253284671532867,2.7692341970802943,4.309204379562043,88.56891605839418,75.64233576642336,8.107737226277372,23.189051094890512,8.548686976883017,1.1965159124087594,483,13,114,9,10,169,86,137,0.228,0.645,0.126,-0.9386,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,1,0,1,2,4,14,4,1,7,0,11,1,0,0,2,17,22,9,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,6,0,0,2,5,8,0,1,2,3,22,6,17,16,3,15,0,2,0,1,9,9,0,2,7,73,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.16903551631119884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687466796623294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627522648131577,0.3712403401083136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049911397857338,0.0,0.0,0.2905736252474646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843934932347367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538762981189002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378633110247506,0.0,0.14726351866646506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561558936423996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672947618236142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737681591728305,0.13173988821116378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302494078866528,0.0,0.0,0.16374674259530056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096771253657647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099092636355276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032576448962348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216830433877086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605745699539337,0.3126041158219249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18784723786573454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893863942235616,0.0,0.11154653815459974
mentalhealth,Bobsled-Brad,2019/02/11,"Suffering From Derealization I’ve been suffering from derealization and depersonalization for about a year now (i’m 14). My parents don’t quite understand but are very supporting and i’ve been mentally evaluated but i’ve never taken medication. Basically I feel like nothing is real and everything is fake. Everything I do almost feels like it’s being watched through a screen of some sort. As i’m typing this currently, I don’t really feel like i’m typing it... If that makes sense. Everyone I know looks and seems fake to me. I look in the mirror and I don’t know who I am. Over the summer of 2018 I was very suicidal but it’s gotten better because i’ve learned to live with it. It feels like i’m jumping between reality and some sort of dream. it sucks but i’ve learned to live with it. I wanted to say that it gets better for anyone experiencing this way and there are other people out there suffering too. No matter how much you make up more symptoms and think to yourself “i’m the only one that feels this way in the world.” you aren’t. stick in there, make it until tomorrow. Do what you live that distracts you from it (for me it’s video games). It gets better :)",2.21478260869565,4.758237000000001,4.056260869565218,82.3674347826087,81.17391304347827,7.332173913043477,23.11304347826087,8.364918446050245,1.6611530434782602,930,32,181,21,25,313,118,230,0.128,0.728,0.14300000000000002,0.4235,3,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,4,0,4,7,15,1,1,6,0,15,2,0,4,1,41,42,16,1,2,5,1,5,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,22,11,0,0,12,3,0,1,6,7,0,1,5,11,16,8,27,36,4,17,0,3,4,0,8,7,1,7,11,112,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987998863790532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370940309777251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297880195101507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31764174465681794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439539777188315,0.2151891081030276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30266434448703483,0.3421054102530421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509511967157316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158743985221366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339520944737574,0.0,0.3171387812416029,0.0,0.2010654414989828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23973749366622066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060299311482205,0.12064728900404895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800628826674207,0.0,0.09233367466410412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148723670077668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112381540728207,0.09105070954173662,0.0,0.0,0.13293234406344556,0.0,0.0,0.08299718296706259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273345158947591,0.0,0.1362649581346993,0.0766942275408926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520432434492528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898650259224707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095173859193354,0.1358542332176604,0.0,0.12443253486275226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671027154583346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463035325427704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19755928939479472,0.07061260434508909,0.19005268408042236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770942770926083
mentalhealth,Nerdcore_Lantern,2019/02/11,"Burned once but want to try again Hello ,

So I believe I can improve my mental health by seeing a counselor but I had issues with the first one I saw and now I’m “gun shy” about pulling the trigger and getting set up with a new one. The first one I saw prob over 6+ years ago and he was horrible . I’d always have to repeat where we left off , I never felt like the sessions got anywhere and at one time he ate his lunch during our session time . Since then I’ve stopped but never felt like I ever got where I wanted to be . For years I’ve felt unhappy with myself , but never know why . I’m in a good relationship (getting married this year) , own a house , pets the whole nine yards and with all these things i feel I should be happy yet I still find myself most days really unhappy with myself. I want to seek out a new counselor but I’m afraid of choosing a “bad” one again and just feel like I’m wasting time . Anyone else ever run into something like this ? How did you get over the anxiety of a bad counselor and how did you go about  searching for the one you have now ? 

Thanks for any and all replies . ",2.3462392766056084,3.9470102643171816,3.364627869232553,92.21943426849064,76.31277533039648,5.836216090888013,22.520055645722238,6.339386263674448,0.3259480176211458,858,24,186,6,19,275,129,227,0.188,0.731,0.081,-0.9784,0,0,1,1,0,0,18.0,2,3,0,2,16,10,0,1,14,0,10,3,0,3,7,46,34,17,0,4,6,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,4,16,2,1,8,1,0,3,3,3,0,9,12,8,22,7,25,19,5,41,0,0,3,0,10,11,0,1,30,120,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427725868034964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849585014081689,0.0,0.0,0.07232502272955776,0.0,0.08136125651389925,0.0,0.0,0.07436586385134437,0.10897322928078458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776039053301542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982562436109673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685901533884393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884592542607417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240830812813955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755253102684306,0.07598000768196561,0.3063523329800492,0.0,0.09720651050481367,0.18093095645021776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666982374805284,0.0,0.0604439771113487,0.08920549800179654,0.1701235611783737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321683706349475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130503535723165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271934920688513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100695074749292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844990690691641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555497980400475,0.0,0.0,0.20783865326397555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718078896858894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460825149217128,0.20543657434645524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326456583254088,0.4324132574186326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813371344708362,0.0,0.0,0.114185429326721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847511366513052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797792543594092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187724748187306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493521180198353,0.08891751233916104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791736180398736,0.0,0.0,0.07065751238862022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18604930474350814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220803937501996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881927403585372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596881274257846,0.11874151938512617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054673298992602
mentalhealth,tinko223306,2019/02/11,"Anger issues (help, I'm desperate) I can't control anger and it gets me in trouble every time. While i managed to control hitting something or someone (happens very rarely), i can't control myself while talking. I got in an argument with my father that escalated only because of my arrogance.Now don't get me wrong here,my father is a good dad, but doesen't allow someone to be rude with him (even if he is rude himself).When he's angry he tends to curse and insult a lot (guess where i got that from).I try not to use insults when arguing with my family, but I'm arrogant and provocative. That happens when I'm angry, when i know something isn't true as said and when there's something unjustified.

Doctors or no doctors, i don't care.If you have a good advice please leave it in the comments, I need help to stop this. Thanks in advance
",5.925914634146341,6.308877810975613,6.347463414634148,78.76460975609757,66.62195121951221,8.511219512195122,35.302439024390246,8.238735603445708,2.8300678048780483,667,31,122,8,10,216,99,164,0.272,0.605,0.123,-0.9828,0,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,4,7,13,7,0,5,0,9,2,0,6,1,25,26,16,0,2,6,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,7,0,4,1,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,3,1,16,4,14,21,1,14,0,0,0,0,16,5,0,5,8,71,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344672941615739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388352975039333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029880467707986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630115348537137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816917796368501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088767038153094,0.0,0.11593925162550255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297229830231315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437872356364911,0.0,0.0,0.2308352893548697,0.22011267438863408,0.0,0.1515888650423228,0.0,0.2433696120938236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446921881057254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362523706601155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562482961168784,0.0,0.0,0.1457052141847562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698796445768038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203333573614412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465580001937058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105040668290648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089511294646738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331867609114089,0.3178081822996685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504503729754455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060274005782657,0.0,0.12668940284618824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023934633467532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934256522089304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884767072454333,0.0,0.113539617576473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504508988840264,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Boognish91,2019/02/11,"How do I tell if I’m hallucinating or if my eyes are tricking me?  I have bipolar mania. I know it can present with hallucinations. I don’t know if these are part of it. 

 I sometimes will see a weird swirl of shadow or change of light in the room. Also sometimes I’ll see a full person, clothes and all, standing in my left peripheral standing there and staring at me. I can’t see they’re staring, but I feel it. Sometimes it scares me for a minute cause I’ll legit think someone is there who wasn’t before. Also when I’ll hear repetitive noise (ie, shower or air conditioning) it’ll start to make a pattern, like music. I’m talking sounds like a radio is playing music out of the air. What’s going on???",2.6766550116550114,4.372276706293712,4.2407167832167865,85.88363927738929,75.64335664335664,6.165268065268066,25.90268065268065,6.816661863887847,1.0240400932400928,551,20,113,5,12,184,90,143,0.053,0.865,0.08199999999999999,0.5803,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,1,1,7,0,12,2,1,3,1,19,25,13,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,2,1,2,2,1,8,4,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,10,12,3,12,22,3,17,0,0,6,0,5,10,0,6,6,68,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845660799630981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139732659944252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277346725329865,0.1882164039556808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996200155565208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111637747630156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005294476989711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19556101807684534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933112530898355,0.0,0.0,0.17384603662736528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876338244544772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926706721632948,0.0,0.0,0.15535340568567807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812955965359542,0.0,0.42533904954956936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507515474746578,0.0,0.5279040700956343,0.0,0.12593311682394662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300583921219434,0.15551044705151526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400433671559188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DHerbo123,2019/02/11,"I NEED HELP PLEASE Hello Redditors,

I just need some help diagnosing myself. I know it’s stupid to do this, but I thought I’d get clarity on what I have until I see the phsycologist on March 15th. Here’s my story:

I’m a 23 year old male who was regularly happy about everything. I really mean that. I woke up with energy, love laughing/making jokes, have a great job, in my last year of uni, everything is great.

I broke up with my girlfriend after 6 years 2018 July. It was ugly the way it happened, but I wasn’t that sad about it. I thought I’d be stressed out about the break up although I thought it was time to do it. I slept fine, mood was fine, and I enjoyed eating still. I was overall happy.

About a couple days later, I tried smoking weed for the first time. I tripped out for 30-45 mins. Thinking I was going to die I even called the ambulance. After, I felt really good. Everything looked beautiful, music was better, vibes were incredible. I was going to smoke before the break up because weed is gonna be legal in Canada so I figured why not. Sleep was good, eating, everything still enjoyable.

In September 2018, one night I took too much benedryl. Enough to make me trip out and land me in the ER. Felt like my heart was gonna pop out of my chest. Everything seemed weird. My mind was racing at an unbelieveable rate. Thought I was going to die, etc. After though everything was enjoyable.

From July 2018 to December 25th 2018, I smoked about 15 times. About 7 of those times were great experiences. While the rest were decent or anxious. Specifically, the December 25th trip was the worst. I was high for 4hrs, thinking of crazy shit, death, killing myself, and seeing things that didn’t exist. Anyways, I slept away perfectly fine.

A week later Jan 3rd 2019, I noticed when trying to go to sleep, I panicked. I was really tired until I suddenly jolted from my bed in panic state. I waked around for a bit, went outside and then I went back to sleep no problem. After that, every week since then it probably happens 3 times a night. Some nights it’s ignorable, other nights it isn’t. 

Feb 1st 2019, I was driving home after work. I think it’s important to note that day I drank a large coffee from Starbucks about an hour before the drive. It was a snowstorm day. When I looked down this hill packed with cars, I suddenly I panicked. I had hot sweats, thinking about a million things, heart palpitations, heart racing, shortness of breath. I went to the hospital, the ran an ecg everything is normal.

The next day, I’m having a normal day. I speak to my professor about an assignment. I head to the library to go do it. Once I open it and read it over, boom a full blown panic attack. I feel chest pain, heart racing, fear I’m going to die, I felt I was going to faint. I drive to the ER. ECG is good, blood work is good. They give me larozepram thinking I just have anxiety and I’m stressed out. I only took one since I don’t like doing drugs and thinking I may get addicted.

After that, the first three couple days were the hardest. My mood was low, I couldn’t stop thinking, had heart palpitations, sleep was decent. I had two moments that only lasted about 30 minutes of thoughts of suicide. Around feb 5, the low mood went away, my appetite has always been great, mood has improved significantly. However, there will be moments of depersonalization that last about an hour long, and sometimes for about 30 mins I’ll be anxious. I noticed that when I’m around people, or talking, I don’t have it. And when the girl I’m seeing is with my and we sleep, I have some of the best sleep ever. My symptoms are getting better, mood is improving, anxious moments are becoming less, still hornier than ever, appetite is there (craving shawarma as we speak).

I’ve been looking online, it seems as though I have acute stress disorder. I believe the trip on December 25th caused me a great deal of emotional trauma, which triggered the irritability sleeping. Then on feb 1st, made me have the full blown panic attacks. It’s so strange: I played basketball in front of packed stadiums, spoke in front of hundreds of people, and it never made me nervous. It excited me. In addition, I began playing basketball recreationally, and I feel happy when I play.

If any of you have went through this, or think you know what it could be, let me know. Thank you for your time!",3.2393746706753888,5.484100189737475,4.016945417351149,85.64710891733569,75.74224343675421,6.978545082602363,25.202925952329288,7.957251820313856,1.5043110808046365,3421,120,658,55,77,1091,360,838,0.161,0.672,0.168,0.7712,2,0,3,0,0,2,139.0,2,4,1,8,38,59,5,8,41,0,70,33,22,5,4,85,142,36,6,8,9,0,6,2,1,4,7,4,2,2,40,28,3,2,25,5,0,25,9,23,2,7,56,16,92,31,98,74,13,133,0,4,6,1,22,37,1,10,69,409,132,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047215995397094236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03603868904093306,0.0,0.0,0.029453347246016837,0.0,0.03313322623397918,0.14678921009052184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566941777975112,0.0,0.09854630843280872,0.08138527609564322,0.033303917567008234,0.0,0.0264023260746284,0.04783421720008011,0.07370989810228673,0.04879729850172335,0.045452812006229436,0.07661111348445489,0.047285007897915135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04422594712863772,0.0,0.0,0.04449290469535904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03458075780963708,0.09584683868243153,0.0,0.16759424573937748,0.04465231841950442,0.0,0.04396032353366352,0.1348516894281442,0.0,0.04963880216943541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022766118619218,0.08863708094519665,0.0,0.04871967745688601,0.0,0.04475242125767937,0.04830384030996315,0.0286068780929581,0.07835557457765835,0.036491858835381884,0.0,0.2724794730503177,0.042367018285107305,0.0,0.04873754836467467,0.043799254033652736,0.0,0.12475767448602827,0.0,0.0,0.07368158469591951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788551027729492,0.041548396678278685,0.17230471083478816,0.1453107325648726,0.0,0.2387557489815073,0.0,0.0,0.07660054213594687,0.13831788875874204,0.0,0.0,0.04445015780064666,0.0,0.0,0.2566220463961804,0.05806165382240457,0.04576104301965226,0.0434450279020791,0.0,0.08530632786180697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04298004201058079,0.0,0.04791782599853592,0.0,0.07140870502304895,0.10591411077142243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04428900639652707,0.0,0.042319682695561835,0.0,0.0,0.03832936926450203,0.10911241086881313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03909037552777685,0.08196489402451332,0.028910803826469593,0.0,0.0,0.04717898802808239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043732330687454433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031838981420877516,0.06422994856329542,0.03340454653923548,0.0,0.04606233734150937,0.16257986700368962,0.08487226931261385,0.0,0.09862100037046903,0.045448198328340114,0.04612539978880362,0.058698070385937134,0.06588078889704965,0.04608655545561741,0.1524503573522901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005356704657444,0.0,0.0,0.04754308864701328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046697189102761084,0.041443315295838015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043323282531493486,0.0,0.08323948664992689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354112158192393,0.07885843840257277,0.0,0.0,0.0444586957917991,0.07165554299341981,0.0,0.30339988629802017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04283624210164325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376600762250897,0.03621040503464645,0.14883974314889328,0.0,0.0,0.047375818866750255,0.0,0.0,0.045017296419090566,0.0,0.034812192768275935,0.0,0.039875467020739366,0.0,0.0,0.057548554272939485,0.22201839969758105,0.08510677914262901,0.1719227106348054,0.15153191995475396,0.04978026890989242,0.0,0.0,0.09624147761491,0.058811414843768936,0.0,0.04230910247010836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03437870177574116,0.0694838447381018,0.0,0.0,0.20075125857881934,0.039081947849011235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306266566852277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367367733659352
mentalhealth,Blessing-of-Narwhals,2019/02/11,"I’ve had a good day so far.. ... but the last 2 weeks have been hell. Today, I worked up the energy to call my doctor so I can make a change to my meds. I’m mad that I have to do this again, but I know it’s a lot of trial and error in treatment of mental illness. I just want to feel like myself again. But it’s like I can’t sustain myself, my personality. If I’m exhausted by myself, surely others feel the same way. Ugh. I went from being super confident and self assured, so this puddle of sad emotions.",0.8038888888888921,2.474656055555556,3.4812592592592613,89.3396666666667,81.03703703703705,5.801481481481483,18.20740740740741,6.742157984588678,0.004278518518518125,386,8,86,4,10,136,73,108,0.215,0.5660000000000001,0.218,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,6,11,2,0,6,0,8,3,0,1,2,16,16,9,0,2,5,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,2,13,6,11,12,2,11,1,1,0,0,3,3,1,2,8,58,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335576374675677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419646998314118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751112800439306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23411357802676544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257289069059734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313042672706888,0.16340387191550235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184683200688865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125703344775494,0.1864444675000426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234906372949617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445701241665012,0.0,0.0,0.15267822347271334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25406608925990953,0.0,0.2305047925993144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971713083719286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23861398067023884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21557414949778572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21680812002007485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491014886307112,0.18155424331760395,0.18347241464373165,0.0,0.0,0.2120338521453575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651726149704008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlackThursday29,2019/02/11,"I have no idea what to do I'm writing this on phone now, so sorry if the formatting is fucked up. Plus there might be random letters missing because my Bluetooth keyboard is kinda weird... 

But to the story now. 
There is this girl that I have a crush on. Her name's Jessica. She's currently in a relationship, but it is not going well and it gets worse and worse, and even without this fact, the more we get to know each other the more we like each other. But now I fear that we might never hear from each other again. 

The problem is a whole series of things. Communication is generally pretty problematic. She lives with her boyfriend, who has trust issues and thus regularly checks almost if not entirely everything of her that he can. And because of financial reasons, she doesn't have her own phone, neither do they have a PC. So she can only chat with me with the help of her Bf's phone, who can get jealous quickly. And he doesn't deal with that well. He beats, scratches and bites her if he's angry.

Kind of a miracle that they've been together for a whole year, and oh boy, thinking that this wld've been going on for even longer if we wouldn't have gotten to know each other ain't fun.

Ironically though, it was her boyfriend who contacted me because we were friends in a school we used to go some years ago. We didn't chat, but instead his gf and I have been chatting quite a lot. We've been chatting every night - if I didn't have to sleep because of school - for like 3 weeks I think.

She started liking me and her BF noticed this (either that or he was just paranoid ... And idk which of those options is the worse). So he told her not to chat with me again. Of course we secretly kept chatting, and it was only after that when she told me that she likes me (I for my part just saw her as a funny person before because I intuitively assume that any female person is just not my type). However, she wasn't particular careful, so her BF noticed. So he blocked me. 

At first, this was a shock, but she later (when he was asleep) unblocked me and we kept on chatting. She explained me the whole situation. At the end of the night, she just deleted the whole chat history and blocked me again, so that her BF wouldn't notice. Another night passes with the same procedure, she unblocks me, we chat for some hours, she blocks me again and deletes chat. Everything seemed fine at this point. Until last night. 

Last night she didn't write me. 

Now, the problem is not that she didn't chat with me when I wanted to chat with her. The problem is that this is an indicator that contact might be over. Forever. 

I don't use any social media aside from WhatsApp and Discord. And maybe Reddit, if you'd count it as that. And I never told her anything about my accounts here. The only way she knew me was via WhatsApp, and because of not having her own phone and because of her BF, there was no other option - or at least none that she could hide from him. So the only way for her to contact me is via my phone number. And none of us have thought about any alternative means for me to contact her in case something like this happens and she would get her own phone (which should happen in March, in case I haven't mentioned it already) so we never talked about that. Hence I have no way of contacting her aside from her bf's number. And even if he wouldn't have blocked me, he wouldn't let me talk to her either way. Even if she would be able to reach hmy city (because I don't remember where she lives), she doesn't know my last name. Neither o I know hers or her bf's last name. 

And now I'm sitting here. I can't properly distract myself, especially not when not having proper Internet (I'm running on mobile data rn... But this is a wholly unrelated thing, so I ain't gonna get into that) connection. And I also can't really do something with friends because I'm sick (a beautiful rhinitis / pharyngitis / bronchitis combo) I keep thinking about her and that she didn't write me. I constantly keep thinking about the fact that we might never hear from each other again because she might not have memorized my number. And it is improbable that she has written it down somewhere, because like I said, her boyfriend checks pretty much everything of her to make sure she isn't doing anything against his will. She said the only thing he doesn't check is her make-up box. I have no idea if she has hid a note with my number there. And ven if, there is still the possibility that he found out somehow. 

I just can't stop thinking about this. I feel bad all he time. I have absolutely no idea what to do. The only thing I can come up with is getting in debt *again*  because spending my money on anything is the only thing I can find pleasure in right now... 

I know you cannot actually help me on this, but maybe you can help me calming down... 

I mean, hey, at least this is not making me feel actively suicidal, for whatever reason (otherwise I'd probably be hangin' around on r/SuicideWatch instead) ... The fact that it's holidays for me right now doesn't make it any easier though.. ",4.144027314986218,5.421194581581581,4.700877041424988,85.73398370973716,71.15215215215215,7.596094724861849,27.19844502036283,7.996773504094717,1.5606881155127732,3973,135,804,53,73,1266,353,999,0.103,0.799,0.098,-0.29600000000000004,3,0,2,0,0,1,137.0,13,3,1,3,60,29,2,2,36,0,101,4,2,8,9,186,161,68,1,22,38,0,3,6,10,14,1,4,0,4,65,61,0,9,29,14,7,6,49,11,2,1,31,8,138,18,94,109,29,91,0,1,1,1,154,32,1,29,54,583,203,5,0.04793716557424521,0.0,0.04677975858119564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042493404918506256,0.0,0.048002146813385965,0.0,0.05289985424431495,0.038335333990503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039566570375247,0.05026629782306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11834460826916125,0.042674240630369134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002553091775104,0.3506646143685041,0.0,0.040790997164606026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048875135147552186,0.0,0.0,0.041293623495490095,0.0,0.05180304599569285,0.0,0.03827392602837075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04942111279317002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04245810019421782,0.0,0.0,0.12664818302245168,0.0,0.040389129509299536,0.0,0.12924850023555526,0.0,0.0,0.0539426385963656,0.04847694253000633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04381370087988181,0.040775328548740594,0.0,0.052560627761301534,0.07407227041876242,0.04431713712419464,0.15027114287398874,0.0,0.08173138772477319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847813544047691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805733913849523,0.0,0.09639381483700217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04720845188396711,0.0,0.0,0.16234567500442454,0.0,0.050033946392897,0.0,0.08521751068420119,0.0,0.049919181175791104,0.1317250626721014,0.15630075212507832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049018999642000786,0.0,0.1405180661988842,0.0,0.08465879090328945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040754463921959985,0.0,0.0,0.12799372103599926,0.0,0.09631865202462248,0.1044352531439892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542687861340732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035239332418034286,0.0,0.14788838929350054,0.0,0.0,0.22492891269387705,0.0,0.0,0.16373034219501692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25520862185437393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191127887422442,0.0,0.0,0.08371376791351769,0.0,0.0,0.045316116128891054,0.054041951493480095,0.0,0.09753866222223513,0.05168437231163951,0.13760818019678878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098707629055424,0.0,0.0,0.03070977576813927,0.09857478026795237,0.0,0.051466575843334014,0.05430346380367554,0.08187615495236532,0.09119844392313407,0.0,0.0,0.09702994160852646,0.0,0.04364019514476595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388338259395522,0.047971785221922164,0.04886590343333287,0.0,0.07380874411413413,0.0,0.05366173218681679,0.033930172524687906,0.0,0.03828268235055338,0.04007761690425335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243547862141314,0.0,0.045180211240674506,0.0,0.0,0.07706015572203909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923661371211587,0.1535810004103343,0.09419604357282464,0.038056754832595095,0.027952546746816163,0.0,0.0,0.13741804802487267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05766250783829752,0.08280463945510416,0.0,0.0,0.028274582264823014,0.15220116296577418,0.03845230269840662,0.0,0.08620253774678653,0.0,0.0,0.21408053371507366,0.0,0.046209716971829656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655620132035432,0.06810637407894414,0.0,0.0,0.0617399258962076
mentalhealth,Pthom_347,2019/02/11,"Finally set my goals! I’m 17 years old a senior in high school, I’m diagnosed with manic depressive I’ve had for about year, and I’ve started seeing a therapist (I go back tomorrow) and last night I talked with my mom about plans after high school, I’ve not taken any steps or even thought of anything because frankly I didn’t see myself being alive to do anything, but I’ve decided to go to a community college for a 2 year AA degree then transfer to a university for a 4 year degree in psychology. I’m really proud of myself considering I’ve been struggling a lot recently, I really hope at least one person finds inspiration in this by knowing that it’s never the end and I’ve always been told that if god woke you up today then he’s not finished with you.",5.720880230880232,5.6840264415584425,7.1742424242424265,74.10358585858587,67.05194805194805,10.480808080808082,32.046176046176036,10.25414643259724,3.19779595959596,608,23,117,14,9,210,100,154,0.037000000000000005,0.838,0.124,0.929,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,3,4,5,0,1,8,0,6,1,0,0,1,19,20,8,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,2,1,1,8,2,10,3,21,11,2,31,0,1,2,0,7,7,0,4,20,65,14,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352444866986804,0.0,0.0,0.10095285308281048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24432766814775256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415087966543065,0.0,0.09049532207640253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786199979082408,0.1506762557782602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131484933274397,0.0,0.0,0.09805153679661394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262255801560654,0.13568297946313182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687380580267411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31369662770698337,0.0,0.14744691996813672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158566208464378,0.12100867602351392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126209084836596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386588131655134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449579061101108,0.0,0.0,0.1393127009534202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577602268413931,0.0,0.10059531818946918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962307707960327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902050633106465,0.0,0.14657902495204692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004838968219589,0.236594990891411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507550855996456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519488146658236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193205700075909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723649010666241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785477557672988,0.0,0.0,0.14071569892397245,0.14185281326450652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823944076487251
mentalhealth,sparkling-unicorn,2019/02/11,"Am I having panic attacks or something else? Panic attack symptoms that I get are:
- Racing heart
- Dizziness
- Numbness or tingling in my hands and fingers
- Feeling loss of control
- Hits like a brick but it can leave pretty quick, like someone's turning a switch.

BUT, I also have a huge urge to self harm during these ""episodes.""

I usually call them ""waves"" or ""episodes"" and they suck ballz and I don't like them. My therapist thinks it's my feelings trying to bubble up since I've spent literally my whole life suppressing any and all feelings, but I wonder if it's a panic attack or with the cute self harm ""voice"" that is thrown into the mix it's something else entirely. 

Probably related, but I feel like I'll go through periods what I'm depressed AF and then all of the sudden I'll wake up one morning and it'll be gone. Again, like someone flipped a switch.

Either way, it's a fun time for sure. Many fun. Much wow. A lot enjoyable.",2.9958532643826743,5.245714829670334,3.821557853910793,86.73226567550097,76.52747252747254,6.260374919198449,27.18939883645766,7.285733465282438,1.512386166774402,737,30,139,9,17,235,117,182,0.18,0.598,0.222,0.899,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,3,2,3,23,4,3,10,0,9,8,4,1,3,30,23,17,0,1,10,0,6,5,0,1,4,1,0,2,10,8,0,2,6,0,1,2,1,12,0,1,2,7,14,11,11,18,6,15,0,2,0,0,6,5,1,7,12,79,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095333506172931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106800376626262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068613544898167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172841403877442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370599206221606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026768116409913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19917205816831435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411079502306713,0.08516482009213347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228316210113896,0.0,0.067750722767601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412663684706668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262279149310976,0.0,0.0,0.08420270748814222,0.2912039307022065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134947406069768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086189288493668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876342727426583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078089310821925,0.0,0.0,0.4196075251065021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128109617313487,0.12853031169720344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487274811426396,0.0,0.0,0.09861310126728863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20201527298851465,0.18354989066651312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235556075432156,0.12390654023689394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841390334336018,0.0,0.07638600594579772,0.0,0.0,0.06951326649448021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093687892636146,0.12966803283541462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312947803784895,0.0,0.0,0.0946246517163481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330955397929125,0.0,0.0,0.12927993934849774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Burgercloud,2019/02/11,Byron Bowers: The Hardest Part Of Schizophrenia Stand up on struggling with people with mental illness and trying to communicate and understand their mental health problems. 2019 ,9.236666666666668,13.577559333333335,6.712592592592598,62.9666666666667,66.77777777777777,6.562962962962962,34.925925925925924,7.793537801064563,3.73017037037037,150,7,14,2,3,43,24,27,0.255,0.745,0.0,-0.802,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3296279368308536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6250273655804037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.335814333928572,0.0,0.21498829790844676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967293452602177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32418988643110924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21054146483994185,0.0,0.0,0.32283104746457103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nibuyonggaosuwo,2019/02/11,"Making up situations after drinking alcohol On Saturday for the first time in forever I went out partying. I drank quite a lot and dance and had fun. I was in a foreign country with my friends. 

I forgot small things from the night, sending a few messages, maybe taking a photo or so. 

I remember the taxi home, leaving the club, getting home. I even remember as I was leaving I got shouted at by a bouncer who made a mistake about me taking a jacket,it belonged to a friend and he thought I was stealing it.) 

ANYWAY the next day I got this OVERWHELMING feeling that I committed some crime and forgot. I worried I did something wrong then forgot it. 

When I left my passport wouldn't work in the e-channels so obviously I thought it was caused by the events of the night before!

Has anyone experienced this before? Any suggestions to stop racing thoughts?",3.7420703933747435,6.167207968944105,4.720223602484474,80.33818219461699,74.90062111801242,7.2746997929606625,31.85134575569358,8.238735603445708,2.7245201656314695,677,34,117,12,15,220,107,161,0.113,0.7859999999999999,0.101,-0.4501,0,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,6,7,0,1,16,0,8,3,0,3,2,26,24,10,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,1,1,1,2,0,8,6,3,4,6,3,0,3,1,4,0,1,17,3,18,3,18,6,3,24,0,1,0,0,7,9,0,3,12,83,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473225278134298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937445092082425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638975758997163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346048536918975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161261465722222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890353605501906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504308719397828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105035581879574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970242700729343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725736870091455,0.0,0.0,0.21300918550844972,0.0,0.07202230463134365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205066676170898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765548366506688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29193204183769583,0.1497772756850821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719736841833447,0.0,0.1304394827938059,0.0920176947255016,0.0,0.1384914860922081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660782596274385,0.25873069217053685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662323067333902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123202928630244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495212140643794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612568224431626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525096349324668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20729602951355025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158315574285364,0.0,0.0,0.3283187475214404,0.08038297168110023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779076042675225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035834964833476,0.13999602779321427,0.0,0.0,0.1507202002113581,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,8bit-meow,2019/02/11,"Here we go again. Slipping into a depressive episode. I’m on medication. I eat well. I exercise. It’s still not enough. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been on just about every anti-depressant and they always end up making things worse. I’m on Lamotrigine now which has been the only thing that works. Over the past month I’d felt well enough to start eating a lot healthier and exercising. Doing social things (even if they’re with my guild in an online game because I don’t really have any irl friends). I’d been doing a lot of self-care. I quit social media because it wasn’t healthy.

But over the past week I seem to be crashing again. I’ve called out of work for the past week. Told them I was “sick” because I kept bouncing back and forth between wanting to cry for no reason and being so anxious for no reason that I wanted to rip my skin off. (I start a new job next month and it’s not enough to fire me yet.) Of course I feel guilty and I’m beating myself up over it. 

This is such a fucking struggle. I’m doing everything right but for some reason it always still catches up with me eventually. How am I supposed to ever live a productive life when I’m like this? ",1.3494798234552334,3.6260447991803284,2.965081967213113,90.51945145018915,82.56557377049181,5.7210592686002535,20.86002522068096,7.010146845296331,0.5073863808322825,937,28,196,12,26,308,145,244,0.084,0.865,0.051,-0.6685,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,2,4,18,8,1,1,11,0,17,10,1,5,1,33,35,12,0,3,6,0,4,1,1,0,6,0,0,0,15,11,2,1,7,3,0,2,7,4,2,0,8,4,20,4,31,25,6,37,0,1,0,1,9,14,1,5,22,130,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168042178376436,0.0,0.0,0.0701546478618653,0.0,0.0,0.11654527477873874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932628471115523,0.0,0.18866234859776665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534136311405637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133201478740163,0.0,0.0,0.17770896604340794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111238206399397,0.08617978089733108,0.0,0.09137214958590233,0.31978610051422296,0.0,0.06813845103157809,0.09331719917255143,0.08691961171806467,0.0,0.0927166095770892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052162513443337666,0.0,0.09905303969388587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970378493044644,0.09537289855193097,0.0,0.0,0.05863013614905285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237375355523448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056695905260154514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286735849421051,0.050400424989633735,0.0,0.09109516995334672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541166263853314,0.0,0.0,0.06886236884752485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392626954986676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468807915154207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963585206958704,0.10971544350786998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846041245039549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954434080263333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972697177823318,0.0,0.0,0.06608911403007331,0.3182074631285817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810097771219721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391608245506383,0.10762192259871818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103241839713221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603916733059424,0.0,0.16477284486509924,0.0,0.0,0.10784878214705833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056115316667532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857704719472543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169688932676953,0.0,0.16550290936284934,0.0,0.1855125673935933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020836396800574,0.0,0.10513231545554576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helloimant1,2019/02/11,"What can i do about apathy? I’ve felt indifferent about everything for a long time, even more recently. I still care a lot about the ones close to me but even then i still can’t feel anything. Life has become so monotonous. What should i do?",2.0137500000000017,4.391597875000002,3.395666666666667,87.81600000000002,80.66666666666666,8.006666666666666,20.016666666666666,8.841846274778883,1.3036616666666665,190,5,41,5,5,62,37,48,0.079,0.8690000000000001,0.052000000000000005,0.1511,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,6,9,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,5,1,5,7,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282640593203902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063497234643313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28281229483405546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664200944816914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24929557633702706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402540915954515,0.0,0.2663329119890898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959250906049068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24547682312072566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358226413431917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187963122249982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738840304123515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4430397262443347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617453101266608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,burner_account1099,2019/02/11,"My best friend needs therapy. My best friend needs therapy. In not gonna go into insane detail of all the shit that is happening with her or I could literally be here all day.
Here are some things she has

- mentel breakdowns are a weekly occurrence
- confrontation issues to the point that she is letting people harass her and isnt telling them to stop really.
-school work

There is a lot more but I know for a fact she has anxiety and ADD But she probally has more things than that.

I have been there for her through it all and have given her advice that she tries to use. I want to be a therapist myself when I'm older and I have found the route of her confrontation issues but she needs someone who is a professional. Not her 15 year old best friend. She knows she needs thearapy and she used to get it when she was younger but her family's insurance no longer covers it so she stopped. Is there anyway she can find a way to start therapy again that is inexpensive and soon. If there isnt, any suggestions on how I can help her? I really dont mind helping her at all. And currently I think I'm doing the max someone my age can do with the situation at this point. 
 
(School counselors arn't very helpful. She goes to guidance when she isnt doing well at school and I usally go with her for support. 
",2.3167710196780007,4.668565763565899,3.3730232558139552,88.55377459749556,79.34883720930233,7.225044722719143,22.326177698270726,8.263242389622931,1.2935183064997018,1029,32,211,21,26,330,136,258,0.096,0.7909999999999999,0.113,0.8181,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,4,15,12,4,0,11,0,30,1,1,3,5,45,51,19,0,7,8,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,12,13,0,2,5,0,1,2,7,4,1,0,4,0,38,8,23,42,11,26,0,0,0,0,34,8,1,4,15,157,50,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997971197700793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957678862696072,0.0,0.07826966011554425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32211558167325993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168912200655294,0.0,0.0,0.06598383829125185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991083260625933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645220096320832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351282003529643,0.0,0.0,0.11218163328087373,0.2371418102387277,0.0,0.05345465785766759,0.0,0.1162944071230954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047562038342062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573604325461828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21357773165622007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245780961133534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462263629360508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698340413692772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330761739879517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034570921519505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107360961800182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093140052629478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343893472397367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108948466158699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106406199016095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502348863437512,0.0,0.11500482630343713,0.0,0.0,0.17338004262032955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241812614201283,0.0,0.0,0.1710775808364494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610431444858445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942663736911474,0.0,0.3510137171225096,0.11879403030226507,0.13594528197391822,0.06555845392557086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946425045103805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767322821845505,0.0,0.08441947414837851,0.06034724001408553,0.0812118108933626,0.08206983637462904,0.0,0.09199225626934576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448555376103945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658866343561454
mentalhealth,MyArtistree,2019/02/11,"Tuck in close Song lyrics 
“When do you hit the ground?  This skins so thick.  Torn pages, ripped stages of psychology...emotion stripped.  Those haunting eyes, deep ocean, truth spoken...to the one who gets in.  
This is not an old story, this is so familiar.  Can you see the lines drawn slowly when you come in close?
There is colour deep inside here...patient will you be?  Don’t pull away, stand here next to me.”",1.2770129870129878,3.950015922077924,0.7789610389610395,101.94558441558443,91.07792207792208,3.838961038961039,14.792207792207792,5.565023196281405,-1.0791454545454546,314,6,68,2,11,89,59,77,0.064,0.907,0.03,-0.3856,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,0,8,2,2,0,1,5,12,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,6,5,1,6,9,1,18,0,0,3,0,5,10,0,0,4,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.368816827597308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381499824210798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4415697222700628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20509294179840531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4174849787336888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4119187433307484,0.0,0.266004333270103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128142240605003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pro_Sper,2019/02/11,"Is running away from reality counted as a mental illness? Hi to all, it's my first post on this subbreddit. I fell to ashmed to go to psychologist, so i wanted to ask you guys, what do you think about it.


By way of introduction: i have always been a uptight person, and never had many friends. Since I can remeber, I always created a world in my mind, where i could hide from reality.

I've got rid of this habit for the past few years, but since i got depression and suicidal thoughts, I started to do it again.

 It came to this, that as soon as I come back from the university, I close my eyes and dream until falling asleep. 

I'm mentally ill?


If you guys don't understand about what I'm talking, here's small example: I recently watched anime called ""Tokyo Ghoul"". Now in my imaginations ,I think of myself as a part of that world, despite the fact that I know that isn't real. ",5.7293714285714294,5.490311908571432,6.676142857142861,78.36735714285717,67.05714285714285,10.428571428571429,32.35714285714286,10.125756701596842,2.9831714285714286,684,26,142,15,10,229,110,175,0.141,0.835,0.024,-0.964,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,0,1,9,3,0,1,7,0,10,4,2,0,3,22,25,11,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,13,6,0,1,6,1,0,6,3,2,0,1,6,2,21,1,27,18,3,28,0,1,2,0,11,9,0,1,11,95,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612283788110115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674865346767624,0.0,0.1474813894409699,0.12070262023409994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028708004158335,0.1795354019010014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352184214906587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533024287325514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520069620451822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335212339194661,0.0,0.0,0.1212770233562594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921142700229763,0.0,0.25109144673714456,0.0,0.0,0.3108560854907519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626830748929044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914607983518395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163839174085275,0.0,0.15849807735979446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106732749698745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998656433482104,0.14984858049476574,0.0,0.1370628513084774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033683307829146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786697472278814,0.0,0.0,0.1549919933593779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596995316302044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110636416286153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170308752558444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616902725546109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116404121047587,0.0,0.12461910290053685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341452723928793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925867981184722,0.1245979358503268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108552623805472
mentalhealth,rlm1997,2019/02/11,"Should I take this medication? I have adhd and depression (at least thats what the doctors say). I just saw the doctor today, asked him for a new sleep medicine. I was taking mitrazapine before, it made me lose interest in life. Before that I was taking ambien, but it wasn't strong enough. 

So today my doctor said he was going to prescribe me vraylar. Just looked it up, it's for schizophrenia and bi polar disorder. Which I do not have, but my doctor keeps prescribing me medicine for those disorders.

Should I take this medicine and if not what medicine would be good for someone like me?",3.9783783783783813,6.324398414414418,4.259720720720721,84.29282432432434,73.86486486486487,7.322882882882882,25.51441441441441,8.238735603445708,1.7115506306306305,468,16,86,8,10,146,72,111,0.103,0.8170000000000001,0.08,-0.3742,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,3,0,11,8,1,1,0,15,22,7,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,3,6,2,0,0,12,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,7,4,14,4,8,11,2,7,0,2,2,1,5,3,0,1,4,61,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540174765639806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866331908173784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23422206816014385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185385344586255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154665303968642,0.5634711219866079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220620204360945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821699229875421,0.11543558322377515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232982142706547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721051309999897,0.06723794130796684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557260374162202,0.15397019005120458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130226655369321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864542637858945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329216881604086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091545704598415,0.10944706927232524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772709089056362,0.0,0.11661150173832226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4139156031086566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609099302851029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776676779490527,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,halofitall,2019/02/11,My boyfriend has been having a panic attack for 48+ hours We went to the emergency room last night but they couldn’t do anything for him and I’m so scared and I hate seeing him in this much pain please help,0.006212121212122668,2.347641136363638,0.9472727272727288,101.33257575757578,92.1818181818182,3.8424242424242414,14.151515151515152,5.46131890053228,-1.1488666666666665,166,3,38,1,6,51,40,44,0.359,0.53,0.111,-0.9383,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,1,0,1,0,1,5,2,2,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,5,9,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,1,6,0,4,6,1,6,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,3,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312685272513381,0.0,0.0,0.3197188074907708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27746468106027183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18837238062243725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27676366420148296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22908169591066266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20659365801702068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637330714212846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990419181794878,0.3297349725176769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084929278099769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28136587463620205,0.0,0.2239491561201792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605230130516911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealthchat5,2019/02/11,"Mental health support chat room (PsychEmpire) https://discord.gg/CuSxG8F [https://discord.gg/CuSxG8F](https://discord.gg/CuSxG8F)

​

 Welcome to PsychEmpire! We cover all aspects of mental health, offering a safe and comfortable place for peoples from all walks of life to come and share how they are doing. Meeting new people, and forging new friendships. ",15.310531914893625,20.212919148936173,9.077606382978724,50.90875,48.99999999999999,9.806382978723407,41.53723404255321,10.125756701596842,5.475131914893618,308,14,28,6,4,80,38,47,0.0,0.7020000000000001,0.298,0.9432,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,2,9,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,6,4,2,6,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,17,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23109382317398225,0.2591641881988685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18372583569792986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4534232068642259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064925196553886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42988151308423744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4119832773799523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957294348687169,0.0,0.22283705814873106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420328870072944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591641881988685,0.0
mentalhealth,TSP99,2019/02/11,Are there any depression helplines that i can call that won't put me on hold for 30 min Please,6.468,5.063265800000004,5.190000000000001,93.47500000000004,66.0,10.0,30.0,8.841846274778883,1.6269999999999991,76,2,19,1,1,22,19,20,0.168,0.727,0.105,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32191622465632225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4833762971855953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4077235164013223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5196316560528497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4758800014954157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unfilteredflower,2019/02/11,"Mental awareness / thinking of School I go to a bad academic High School, the teachers do not teach well, the school is isolating, no one talks to each other so I have no friends in the school and overall, I am having a bad experience. The school discourages and unmotivated  me , I have gotten apathetic so I do not care about my grades that much so I am failing all my classes and my attendance record is poor. The Vice principal said I could transfer schools because it is semester 2 now and so I did research on this school I want to go to, they offer a program called Gates, it is for intellectual/ gifted students that have special needs, I consider myself one of them and so do other people, they tell me I am intelligent more than average people in my age and that I have potential, I think that if I go to that school; it’d help me because they offer different ways of learning which I need, it’ll help me get engaged and motivated in my studies and I can expand my intellect, not even that but I could find my sense of belonging, a friend group perhaps and it is a new environment that I need. But the problem is that, I have psychological problems that prevent me from following through , I am malnutrition, have decency problems, in isolation so going through the side affects of having speech problems, unable to express myself, apathy which causes my mind to blank out, poor concentration, memory loss , unable to progress information because of it lack of motivation from apathy etc. And so I do not think I could get accepted in the school because of it. What should I do?",6.408798008534852,7.3291079594594635,7.109438122332861,71.83926031294455,65.68918918918922,10.420768136557614,35.511379800853476,10.426177893888326,3.9001040540540544,1260,59,221,31,19,417,148,296,0.171,0.7240000000000001,0.105,-0.9673,1,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,4,5,11,16,0,0,13,0,31,0,0,4,1,47,48,20,0,14,7,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,22,12,0,2,9,0,2,6,6,9,1,2,3,2,42,7,30,39,6,19,0,3,0,0,17,9,0,1,3,173,64,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573438509526606,0.1981953547923602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299815381239932,0.0,0.0828725598835077,0.08349914896620965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946915267152128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492253728553623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906510731384621,0.05368608751658471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950953068279455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429040429094234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125596760959416,0.0,0.08493312771406543,0.0,0.18477805543002987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896341146832678,0.08587904462766249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191328032811487,0.0,0.08207179143986505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975172605153688,0.18080903280758406,0.0,0.07850279824409816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015776463107976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270160433686455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111041260384808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731792947974248,0.0,0.0,0.7403567949176021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533150599407549,0.07104417385790977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624694170215772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047942312688214896,0.06451798012497334,0.0,0.0,0.0730824063193274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hazy1991,2019/02/11,"Aversion to touch 28/M. So in more recent years I’ve grown to recoil from any unwelcome touch from other people. I’m fine with friends hugging me or putting a hand on my shoulder or something, but strangers I just can’t handle it. 

I work in a restaurant and when I have to give people change and their hand touches mine I can’t stand it. I feel compelled to wash my hands, sometimes multiple times. Yesterday I was chatting briefly with a regular and he touched my arm. Consciously I know it’s a gesture of familiarity, but it made me feel sick. 

I’m not sure how to go about dealing with this. I have a friend who has similar issues with unsolicited physical contact and they have a history of abuse and say that it stemmed from that. I don’t have a history of abuse, but still have this aversion. 

I’m comfortable enough at work to be able to explain this to my coworkers, but I can’t tell customers or random people with whom I have limited interactions with. 

Does anyone else deal with this? Any advice? ",3.6072569027611046,5.692342642857145,4.318715486194479,84.63468787515009,74.10204081632655,7.672989195678271,29.896758703481396,8.4952907291091,2.329860504201681,802,36,155,15,17,256,115,196,0.145,0.747,0.107,-0.8949,0,0,1,0,2,0,19.0,0,0,2,3,6,7,0,0,7,0,13,8,5,3,1,32,23,15,0,0,9,0,9,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,14,12,0,1,5,1,0,3,5,1,0,0,2,10,20,6,26,20,2,14,0,0,0,1,16,4,0,4,6,100,34,2,0.15915166541957645,0.377137397698558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555211654958541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164571800569303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128254492190492,0.16306968889603946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683613592561644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32815675744281164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927469491281844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295079456239756,0.0,0.0,0.1644462143002631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609437280172584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459203638207782,0.0,0.0,0.1526727795273451,0.09044955910951416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661129897972435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746559313897488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505931539462856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310071772152969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599913817316235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571430694018539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656379222175668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252272748686355,0.15740506659750853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709872558866095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999856117535654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910557047031852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928026159699452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23172861582527696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248845453789003
mentalhealth,lostinalphabetsoup,2019/02/11,"One Week on New Meds I feel so numb and disconnected from my feelings. 

All I want to do is sleep, but hey, now I'm not staying up until 4 am thinking about everything that has or could go wrong. Instead everything is a bit foggy. 

I forgot how alienating the first week of a new med can feel. ",3.8895000000000017,4.472146949999999,5.206666666666667,84.45000000000002,71.16666666666666,8.666666666666668,28.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,1.9818333333333336,227,8,49,4,4,76,51,60,0.108,0.872,0.02,-0.7234,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,7,2,1,1,1,13,15,6,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,1,3,4,0,7,13,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,33,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193516657504084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230696759831434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653998830137081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083618414786131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291458223191802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553186094520194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516088300251508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926688956408367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377515475609217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20343235715814173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166753448514359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302571700579625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990308243034073,0.0,0.32612680724337645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222608330904389,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CWreck4L,2019/02/11,"Help understanding a fear I know this isn’t as important as some of the other threads here, but I have an odd question. So I am diagnosed major depressive and generalized anxiety disorder and am on 20 mg lexapro for it. Today was the first time I took it in a couple days. Anyways, I upset my little brother because I didn’t want to play Apex Legends with him because 1) the thought of losing and letting the team down makes me feel guilty; and 2) I am horrified at the thought of communicating with other people that I don’t know. I just now feel guilty because my little bro is disappointed in me, and I don’t want to feel like I’m wanting to play just to appease him. I know all of this sounds ridiculous but I feel like I’m about to cry. ",7.684685714285713,5.789074173333336,8.185809523809526,74.54100000000003,63.93333333333333,11.23809523809524,38.095238095238095,9.957137785484203,3.56532380952381,586,25,119,10,7,196,89,150,0.254,0.622,0.124,-0.9791,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,7,10,1,2,8,0,11,1,0,1,1,29,28,10,0,3,4,2,4,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,7,0,0,11,3,0,1,4,6,0,1,5,5,18,4,20,22,3,13,0,3,0,0,7,7,0,2,7,80,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212430232636096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898387689632907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536415575794456,0.17409182278637106,0.10221176416453734,0.0,0.1365056364838721,0.16086216570729855,0.0,0.0,0.18164118410040472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834326390255326,0.3205455417006732,0.2264479737325607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480996423803618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623128571002452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613028753431473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206490110369792,0.0,0.15485863759034155,0.3176935837333257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17730773278472114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579209027666547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987574791348853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17754303239383146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516438219186987,0.09241573180203623,0.0,0.1502282623165124,0.0,0.17608619859393834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499178390151356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804413030842837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,boring_old_dad,2019/02/11,"What's wrong I cannot tolerate large, loud talkative groups of people. I get agitated and irritable very easily. Especially when there is constant movement around me or its loud. When I'm at work and I have multiple tasks presented to me all at once I get angry and withdrawn. I stay very tense and have been taking magnesium supplements and visiting a chiropractor to try and loosen up. When my house is a mess it's worse, I have two young girls that need constant attention and i dont have the energy to keep up with them most of the time. In moments of extreme anger I shake uncontrollably and get extremely sleepy shortly after. I purposefully avoid building new relationships and taking on any extra responsibility. I'm 33 years old now, but when I was in 2nd and 3rd grade I was diagnosed with what they said at the time was ADD and given a maintenance does of Ritalin, but at some point it was swept under the rug and I was never given any other treatment. I took the 504 plan classes and most other remedial classes my whole life anyways. All I want to do is be alone in the quiet most of the time. I avoid family get togethers and when I do go its because my wife gives me a hard way to go about it. I sometimes use marijuana late at night because it feels like someone has shaken my head all day and it helps to quiet my mind. I do take a daily dose I citalopram, and that has helped me stop being extremely self conscious when in public. I feel very emotionally stunted and have trouble empathizing. I stay tense, grind my teeth and it causes tension headaches. I just feel like a cannot relax or catch a break. Everything in life seems unnecessarily overwhelming.",3.9926919642857146,6.213810528125002,5.129017857142858,78.64562500000002,73.40625,8.571428571428571,27.36607142857143,9.23628265651192,2.513919642857143,1339,51,247,32,28,441,180,320,0.147,0.812,0.042,-0.9763,0,3,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,2,12,13,1,6,14,0,24,7,2,2,4,50,48,28,0,2,5,1,4,2,0,0,5,5,1,2,14,22,0,4,6,1,0,7,4,10,0,1,10,9,34,3,30,36,9,52,0,1,0,0,13,17,0,7,26,159,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158170599248432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208978035527732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995480309759148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633506372019188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487516250636967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416863733835755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211792661573006,0.0,0.0,0.1135001039904894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785888254096116,0.0,0.13105816288161914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257881656286081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050117287760388,0.0,0.1054187348163486,0.0,0.16962636377273138,0.15977572137035526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336959590396748,0.10727280794490864,0.12710554184046566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017330848733758,0.0,0.11476479532512253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990799013697625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903113031853902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993952706359831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614356287582412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797072448107735,0.10926417279692142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291145473421167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291688112412626,0.08624639677765368,0.10800136069823817,0.0,0.1049402639038136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734161220394244,0.11909006239735972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752543153562631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571084723407244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005828833965045,0.0,0.0,0.10637126034944107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180135449146127,0.11665794832069233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474902880864113,0.0,0.11059786512661073,0.0,0.0,0.23838131650864985,0.0,0.09349077546763013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522356338268465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956183131770253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424178030816595,0.07592189005938492,0.0,0.10923685596681912,0.0,0.0,0.096580966546362,0.0,0.27680221093072355,0.06595733045397381,0.08876154479656226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248487101750695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140999128240843,0.0,0.11395931170062425,0.0,0.12226317220525468,0.0,0.07201168626293603
mentalhealth,jokbalsnake,2019/02/11,"How to live if my depression takes the form of my own birth mother I'm not exaggerating when I say I hate my mother with all my life. I don't even want to call her my mother, it disgusts me. But everyday I had to repress all this and bow my head to her, tending all the things she fucking wants. Does she even know she ruined her own daughter for life? I blamed her. It's because of her I got all my mental health issues.

​

Ever since I can remember, since I was a child I already knew I was unwanted by her. By the time I hit 10, I already called myself ""an accident"" on my own. Kinda fucked up. It started with the little things. I knew she didn't always feed me, didnt dress me up for school, or even helped me with my homework. That's kinda given since I had a nanny. Then school plays and stuff that required parental support. I didn't have anyone coming for me (I don't have a father btw, bounced pretty much before I was born) and the rare occasion she did come to school, I really feel it was forced. It was at that time I already felt so little of me even when I was so young.

It worsen when I grew older. She was acting as if she were young. She often went out clubbing and drinking. I always saw her so tipsy, smell the alcohol on her and watch her vomit her guts out. This made me repulsive of alcohol that even now in my 20s I can't stand it. She often choose her friends, clubbing, going out, etc. over taking care of her 10 year old daughter. This was the time I had a personality shift from being a lively child to quiet, withdrawn. This was also the time the verbal abuse started.

You don't call your own young daughter a ""retard"",""autistic"",and""special child"" as an insult to my face or description when your friends ask about her. I'm not autistic, god I'm not. She didn't realize her own negligence made me quite, often not playing with other kids and being alone. She just referred to it as ""autism"".

It worsen so much right now, when I'm 20 years old now. I'm pretty sure she sees me as a slave, an unwanted nuisance because she acts like it. Screaming at my face the most nastiest insults, insults that I heard ever since I was a child. Often ordering me around she can't do the basic things. 

The worse thing is when she doesn't want to support me financially. My grandparents, nanny, relative were the ones to pay for my school tuition fees, toys, clothes, etc. ever since. I just remember she was always reluctant to spent a single coin on me. Oh god, it's much worse right now. Imagine, I go to college over 2 cities away and the money she gives me is only 1$ equivalent in our country currency when a normal student should always have at least 50$  (It's a diff culture in my country. We don't move out when we're in college, family are the ones expected to shoulder schooling fees. Allowances need everyday before going to school) it just covers my fare and I can't eat food at university. Even just handing over those little money earns me screaming and called me ""bitch, retard, etc.""

I kinda lost my train of thought at this point. I'm having a migraine after crying my eyes out. I spent my evening outside our house, beside trash cans because I really don't want to see her face after I come home from university.

My depression hangs over me. My anxiety grips me tight everyday. I can't even hug my relatives properly without feeling suffocated because I literally didn't feel affection growing up. I don't have the basic things that every person should have because she doesn't want to provide me with it. I don't have proper clothes in years, I can't eat properly because she doesn't want to spend a single coin on me, I don't have the materials I need for college because I know that will earn me a verbal beatdown. I can't find a job properly because I'm the worse at anything social because of HER. 

Sometimes I just wish she would hit me. Will that hurt more than the harsh words, the silence, the negligence, the hatred?

I had to cut it short because I don't want a panic attack right now and my head is splitting apart. Sorry if some sentences are stilted, doesn't make sense or something. seems like grammar fails me when I'm emotional. I just had to unload this.",3.7626326020549854,5.3547827232250365,4.660741275571598,84.41818217161901,72.54993983152828,7.279911135795612,26.864037767286874,7.882392219407189,1.6063061038600388,3317,117,643,45,65,1075,331,831,0.155,0.7909999999999999,0.055,-0.9972,3,1,4,0,2,0,115.0,3,3,0,6,43,31,10,2,41,0,66,24,9,6,8,104,128,37,0,20,18,8,7,2,2,5,7,5,2,7,37,25,7,3,17,6,12,13,29,20,0,2,38,18,134,11,78,81,22,93,0,6,5,3,73,38,3,16,42,443,171,17,0.0,0.06082561163951269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972666989341147,0.0,0.053169353528177914,0.16995402193576667,0.041053951767343916,0.17086503472249984,0.05562330834551089,0.062379726789351324,0.0,0.0,0.039272445818625164,0.0,0.0,0.03589582417963582,0.0,0.042245741583217374,0.045700559618998514,0.047992897793801344,0.05840292356715985,0.04823253285582847,0.0,0.0,0.31294384462571906,0.0,0.08736752524720214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20968209978967867,0.0,0.05234120150008626,0.0,0.0,0.1326661007598906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056390969919796925,0.0,0.0,0.08843247336539907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04492510451456139,0.0,0.0,0.05029043578686835,0.0,0.10506054962349112,0.0,0.05774689369863587,0.0,0.0,0.17176201961212326,0.2712593242836257,0.13931099112373252,0.04325339581521757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048395685260711516,0.0,0.07787215552686527,0.0,0.04929129626668216,0.0,0.04692082670043017,0.0,0.062076558539220277,0.0,0.07932523602958252,0.09491993002665274,0.0,0.04924685407559487,0.08752751313871876,0.0,0.04105866001287649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05068437696151865,0.10537255874376626,0.05456852654047637,0.0,0.0,0.034409917370825056,0.0,0.051494910043601634,0.0,0.0,0.05923567554295335,0.0549570142808436,0.0,0.0,0.05358219188732606,0.05094376742014152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05642663106397368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252127883825801,0.05016105084322965,0.15435862268501352,0.09066251827325468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560400878360219,0.0,0.0,0.0971520804184744,0.03426765533878318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05173533335055271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054562802738855616,0.11321517535976967,0.07613104613091462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050299080061590055,0.0,0.0,0.10773849149488704,0.0,0.06957417224059782,0.039043884440602784,0.0,0.060232572955300226,0.05700334578559756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965047731253857,0.0,0.0,0.048529788374864206,0.0,0.0,0.10445578836785163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460291467158894,0.0,0.0,0.0657752272868404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163089793008244,0.1315238201841167,0.0,0.04082501560589192,0.0,0.3117329728055703,0.08181742919952767,0.046735016500300736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123313022659492,0.0,0.0,0.05233131510258195,0.0,0.03952151064629519,0.05077332298190323,0.057467248504877236,0.07267278102396509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058768255513429325,0.0,0.11651258972530278,0.0483842455519643,0.0,0.07719764023277473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17052915883169026,0.0,0.0,0.040755616677450826,0.1197394034654826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21195806870512351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04758964834805133,0.0,0.0,0.05903468774139036,0.04948676049657176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569494926456496,0.03646812881789853,0.0,0.062379726789351324,0.09917748233875646
mentalhealth,talyen42,2019/02/11,"Advice on long-term care for a frequently-hospitalized family member with severe bipolar depression (among other issues)? My brother has had bipolar depression since he was a teenager, he's mid-20s now and still living with our retired father. Recently, he ""attempted suicide"" by jumping off a 15-foot balcony and breaking his feet, leading to hospitalization (and inpatient psych). Given the background context below, what would you do?

* My brother has talked about and threatened suicide hundreds of times

* This is the third time my brother has been hospitalized in the last 90 days (previously for psychosis and suicidal threats)

* Each time, he's released after 3-5 days after he begins to act normal and wants to go home

* Our father is a psychiatrist who desperately wants to help him, and has not been willing to ""kick him out"" of the house

* My brother has not been willing to consider longer-term inpatient psychiatric options (I don't know what options are available?) and because he always has had my father's home to return to, the hospital is always able to discharge him

* My brother has seen at least 20 psychiatrists in the last decade, and taken hundreds of different medications, with zero success

* My brother has received a year of ECT treatment, with significant memory loss and only temporary depression relief

* My brother dropped out of high school due to a combination of social phobia, depression, sensory issues, and rage issues

* My brother has never applied for a job, and doesn't believe he could hold one

* My brother sometimes wishes to move into his own apartment, but that gets derailed by his constant suicidal threats, changing his mind about everything, easily becoming frustrated and overwhelmed, and at least for now, he can't even walk...

How do you end a revolving door of 5-day long emergency room and inpatient psychiatric visits? Is my father's home being open to him actually hurting his chances of recovery? Would being barred from returning home force him to choose between homelessness and long-term inpatient care? My father is in his 60s, and beginning to decline mentally, so I see this situation deteriorating long-term if someone doesn't do something. What would you do?",7.2289566755084,9.777961891246687,7.151848806366048,66.17001900972592,65.36604774535809,9.907303271441203,38.561361626878856,10.203070172399654,4.824926507515473,1791,98,246,46,30,570,206,377,0.136,0.809,0.055,-0.9868,2,0,1,0,0,2,65.0,2,3,0,4,8,15,4,1,14,0,37,5,1,2,1,47,51,21,4,9,4,14,0,0,0,5,3,0,6,0,8,26,1,1,2,1,0,8,7,11,0,3,9,2,30,4,50,34,4,49,0,7,2,0,44,16,0,3,23,174,38,5,0.08765378334985527,0.0,0.08553744833919957,0.0,0.0,0.08565426262271321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586993909052315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053432932757068785,0.09680671710190887,0.0,0.09875579758386477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873774788720986,0.0,0.09272608030724222,0.0,0.0,0.09472260022416948,0.0,0.06998441355159367,0.0,0.0,0.1695883165322557,0.0,0.3019843006355337,0.0,0.0,0.091579547443816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763523502670121,0.0,0.0,0.0578944972200601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877756852627223,0.0,0.08263218595529906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045795484023807474,0.0,0.04981566505995274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058752483316953624,0.09261103463577404,0.351695566210212,0.0,0.0,0.1011406973635054,0.09383518797468783,0.0,0.0,0.27446332994816336,0.08698285477408177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04817222698460842,0.14289906484950496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739989658967728,0.3102833598436757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883019650792703,0.08833439722678711,0.0,0.0885053338985223,0.0,0.0,0.09316209984156616,0.0,0.0,0.06760400140374623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588209702247902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059396472095605175,0.06666465206831672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654753642676669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871030836220653,0.06984871675624753,0.0,0.0,0.0990238255278484,0.0,0.0725081153762044,0.09852652503479352,0.0,0.0893519936239524,0.07426876618505414,0.06748016479911667,0.08669183303444361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000042461020227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835160488000701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045279079031237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15333487789306186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034009449019235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079752500621712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680019834549735,0.0,0.0,0.05644616263513313
mentalhealth,hellokow,2019/02/11,"Suicidal first thoughts. Any idea how to change this pattern? Ok so I have this issue that seems to be quite problematic because if I don’t control it, it tends to spiral out of control into depressive episodes. Whenever I’m feeling slightly upset over even something minor, my first automatic thought I suicide is the answer. How do I change this first thought? It’s a really negative first thought that brings a lot of negative emotions into my life and I want to change it.",5.408441558441557,7.5031940000000015,5.6719480519480525,76.78863636363641,69.22727272727273,8.664935064935065,36.435064935064936,9.23628265651192,3.7029655844155833,384,21,64,8,7,122,59,88,0.258,0.691,0.051,-0.9734,0,0,1,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,7,4,3,0,1,3,1,5,1,0,4,0,19,15,5,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,2,8,0,0,1,3,2,0,4,4,1,7,1,10,10,1,9,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,4,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432237550640199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455168417539884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44018618401158705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111330291815265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194641576635454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560215099918957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916116146328585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013209146239195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719206982856695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565781054348544,0.0,0.14476924993687754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796959374072456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791980443100268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752705559331564,0.0,0.0,0.08885629705823818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626943852471378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677986941384901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034357853963249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404567897869094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818102580718691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bobofisting,2019/02/11,"Bi-Polar Symptoms - co-parent I co-parent with a bi-polar ex (our child’s mom). Not sure if this is the right sub but trying to better understand the disease as things turned back to scary yesterday after a long stable period. Trying to understand what I should do to keep my child insulated from the recent events.

Ex was diagnosed BP type II severe with psychotic features. We’ve had numerous scary incidents over the years and I went from little custody to primary custody - she has been hospitalized multiple times. She’s been working hard to keep it together to try to gain more time and we’ve had no major incidents for almost a year.

Over the past two weeks I’ve observed the following:

- Oversharing via text - bizarre text strings , appears her phone was taken away by her family as txts are no longer delivered.
- Has brought back a shady character from the past into her life (2 yr break) and is telling other parents and my child that they plan to get married. 
- Has been reliant on her family to drive her anywhere including school pickups dropoffs on the limited days she has our child.
- Has broken out with cystic acne all over her face (have not seen it before)
- Made disparaging remarks about me in front of our child.
- Attempted to push me down the stairs yesterday in front of our child at pickup (this made me sick to my stomach).

I considered filing a police report when she tried to push me down the stairs but there is so clearly something wrong right now i’m not sure if that benefits anyone.  

So my question is this - Her family is clearly aware something is going on and is staying with her (they would never share any details with me).  What type of cycle would she possibly be in? Would this pose a danger to our child? Really not sure who to notify in this situation since it seems like her family is trying to get a handle on it. I understand BP is mania and depression seems like she is under a trance state right now, but definitely not a happy or euphoric state....

Thanks",5.209400305576778,6.902725398395723,5.647093200916733,78.36627005347596,69.08021390374331,9.193124522536287,28.597784568372802,9.606745405546679,2.749464018334607,1585,57,280,36,28,508,204,374,0.162,0.745,0.093,-0.9825,3,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,5,0,2,6,11,13,1,0,19,0,30,6,2,2,7,48,51,17,0,6,11,4,1,2,0,4,4,0,0,7,16,13,0,3,6,0,0,10,8,3,0,1,13,2,36,10,51,33,3,59,0,1,1,0,38,24,0,8,23,183,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540194300777684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478876828307539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661695412459838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951192797497448,0.1465177984793794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107013217256627,0.0,0.0,0.08426104574793263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061443071660011686,0.0,0.08205831953915209,0.09669988240323764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592588518048652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995522072787792,0.0,0.05414572549555878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101419662869345,0.08534571167864728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693656771053343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729399332424597,0.09309095136366298,0.09548837059416103,0.0,0.08431342634749563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18029884623789855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115823471349596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734802536110533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578916511692966,0.0,0.1818973281339792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074057624225319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672733565726672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06103419267899553,0.0,0.09407039219572408,0.0,0.0,0.2440873415150018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964211558638371,0.0,0.17346555045693166,0.0,0.10763114108981993,0.0,0.07881064132407656,0.10709061441104632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669130584569198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154812402395233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693804480007242,0.09902491428445066,0.0,0.0,0.08327262297065974,0.08771439019840023,0.0,0.0,0.06329501222173811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111086669531341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234198728658981,0.10362944371145444,0.09306767795539594,0.2975470216497192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642209013718923,0.0,0.0,0.08831883633435124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935973013837192,0.0,0.0,0.20303718217871025,0.1041658461871154,0.0,0.12270511388902793
mentalhealth,oFaceless,2019/02/11,"I'd like to talk to someone about some mental issues I have I am not asking for much, I just want to talk to someone about shit for a while. I really need to have therapy sessions, but I hear that therapy costs money, and I don't have money to throw at that, so here I am. I don't expect anyone here to be a psychologist or a therapist, but I figure it is better than nothing.",9.094833333333334,4.551129150000001,10.150000000000002,69.78833333333336,63.75,13.16666666666667,36.66666666666667,10.504223727775694,3.555791666666668,292,8,62,5,3,104,49,80,0.033,0.871,0.096,0.5346,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,3,0,9,1,1,0,0,11,13,6,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,9,2,13,12,2,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,2,2,49,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038991148458855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20107206941339315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19022201447290885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24241236252975204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22448909529863198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050779048634702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21675145733606727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581095720759561,0.15948012826729774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20637639819442125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778664838622712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22077796000368194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3644755341191255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.345748554506748,0.0,0.0,0.4919286368367185,0.24972607567870575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268605786706034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RobMarenghi,2019/02/11,"DEPRESSION - YOU'LL BE OK!! Hi guys, there are ways and means! Hello again guys it's Rob Marenghi. People have told me they've found this video helpful with regards to coping with depression. Also can't recommend highly enough Sam Harris' new meditation app 'Waking Up'. 5 stars from everywhere. You have to pay for it now but I'd pay £100 no questions asked it's been that valuable and stabalizing. The depression vid - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K\_6OloeKNCE&feature=youtu.be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_6OloeKNCE&feature=youtu.be)\- ",9.830000000000002,14.547088666666674,4.450000000000003,73.84500000000001,79.0,6.5025641025641026,22.66666666666667,7.61054688173877,1.8010205128205132,468,13,59,8,13,117,67,78,0.234,0.675,0.09,-0.8955,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,1,7,1,1,0,0,8,11,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,3,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,3,2,7,6,1,6,0,3,0,0,10,2,0,1,3,31,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671063720803197,0.0,0.4246492100854245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831978962061598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5063450162913733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024809963538014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148620766045311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880661221694389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313491112382285,0.20704447545881974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21345992539456068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926119584781012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585528725000148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21952214317659502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872499652252643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554541169563604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,X211499Reddit,2019/02/11,Why do mental disorders come together? I thought I only had OCD back in the day but as time went on I was diagnosed with Depression and ADHD. How it is that most people who have one mental disorder usually find out they actually have 2 or more? Is it the same root cause that causes these disorders? I hope one day they find out how to treat the root cause and not each disorder separately. One medication for all of them together would be much better than 1 for each.,4.324065934065935,5.959565362637362,5.6887912087912085,77.4312087912088,71.1978021978022,10.474725274725275,27.285714285714285,10.608840637214634,3.1158527472527475,372,13,72,12,7,125,66,91,0.123,0.767,0.109,-0.3485,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,9,2,0,7,1,26,13,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,3,4,0,7,3,11,7,7,11,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,3,5,54,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.1281799443581893,0.0,0.15785876575922414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100106015753656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616957173597753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048019757445482,0.0,0.11314753479996807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942147483522454,0.0,0.11313270270528518,0.13331882871841913,0.0,0.0,0.6021599872118089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401054606197611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046150215744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232263985355114,0.2647424804290045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655833645920288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670211691876613,0.09989860065604628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106246923866916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427827900027208,0.07659201319856415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466492597424366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217639931015597,0.11852413932473856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330821176347724,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,temp_account_to_vent,2019/02/11,"Honestly please give me some advice Hey I am a 19 year old male and I completely fell for my best straight friend. I hate it and I can't take it no more. It's driving me insane! Fuck, it's so hard because we have the best times together but its killing me on the inside. I try to be happy and enjoy it all, but when the fun times are over and I am alone again I fucking hate myself. I never asked to fall in love with him. I wish I could just enjoy the fun times for what they are, instead of latching on to him everytime. How do I unlove him. He knows that I love him. Every now and then he says things that make me doubt his sexuality (but that is just because of my bias he is straight as fuck).  I cant let him go. I think of him 24/7 no joke. It is dominating my thoughts and I can't think about anything else. It has corrupted me and I want it to stop.",-0.2474543114543124,1.7856226432432436,1.7505791505791528,98.20252252252254,87.43243243243244,5.037323037323038,18.53925353925354,6.42735559955562,-0.2713989703989705,659,18,162,7,21,218,109,185,0.141,0.589,0.269,0.9832,0,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,1,2,9,20,6,1,5,0,16,5,0,2,2,28,34,15,1,3,5,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,14,9,0,1,4,1,0,4,6,8,0,0,1,2,34,12,16,30,5,21,0,0,0,5,20,6,3,2,11,112,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14197251373614647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504732389199554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195586018030716,0.0,0.1358234828332161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17713088753632988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049389250374481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233037506932942,0.0,0.0,0.11599963399410625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136842240771885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224103384885687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224816930617172,0.4029457298628764,0.0,0.13937227270303273,0.08256979834327575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466042858455575,0.13014837530152362,0.28688113952703315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073824374300985,0.0,0.07984578873088717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856552769147338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622538973191965,0.0,0.0969800222657722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205408492264246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524539861387825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948120374811325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553784124760268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146621406968565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923754185432123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652204947762248,0.18618774382164766,0.0,0.11534143710034195,0.2541535866555977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986401546505661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569387921230022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707257251806604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935598924640576
mentalhealth,ghdht,2019/02/11,"What can I say to someone who tells me to ""just get over it""? This person doesn't care about mental health. It's their ""opinion"" that people should just deal with it and that people shouldn't take medication because they just rely on it.

I've tried explaining things to them but they just don't care.

Ignoring them isn't an option either because we live in the same house.",3.8159360730593583,5.689498287671236,3.8645890410958894,89.02555936073061,72.97260273972603,6.510502283105023,21.755707762557076,7.1686216300943375,0.5552940639269406,297,7,59,3,6,91,54,73,0.07400000000000001,0.8859999999999999,0.041,-0.3333,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,5,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,0,0,16,11,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,10,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,8,2,8,9,2,3,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,2,0,42,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283311783643959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4738511208869644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395722244227652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140827381318413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470076796604696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681338070972514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051946395715898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340970814723349,0.2341830622438019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32220424719503704,0.20290410778269846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479686031899573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968937089097008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471985408124724,0.0,0.20310921650290664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543820751920921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776987594688185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LameLoli,2019/02/11,"What's Wrong With Me? okay soooooo long story short i'm 16, F. I have homicidal/suicidal thoughts and on top of that i've been diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder) and PTSD. My therapist says he cannot diagnose me further until I am 18. I don't understand happiness and I don't understand how people can be happy like 24/7. The only time im truly happy is when i'm with my boyfriend. I have constant nightmares that don't really scare me that much anymore because i've had them for as long as I can remember. School is boring, i'm smart but i don't apply myself because i dont care too much about it. I don't have friends anymore because i tend to keep them at a distance, we're just too different in the end. I can only get off to violent porn (stabbing, choking, beating, strangling) stuff like that. I feel like everyone around me is plastic and easily readable. I can't connect with people. In my very low points i plan mass murders (that i'd like to commit) and sometimes my own suicide. If you want more details please PM me. Any thoughts as to what the fuck is going on with me?",3.2427929292929285,4.950376804545456,4.57030303030303,84.06489898989899,74.13636363636364,7.7979797979797985,29.949494949494948,8.515128840125781,2.3631010101010097,867,39,169,16,18,287,134,220,0.198,0.6659999999999999,0.136,-0.9714,1,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,1,2,3,7,19,3,1,4,1,22,4,0,1,1,24,37,13,2,2,3,0,1,4,1,0,2,1,0,0,9,11,0,1,6,0,0,1,8,8,0,0,4,2,28,11,23,32,5,21,0,2,0,2,6,13,1,1,11,102,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849294838224971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289411404343194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275270881047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108599988010487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768346561543395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473340408786952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994153710683119,0.23430786166156314,0.0,0.12059454312339507,0.1322870335889962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527722362553146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223227739868718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029352028629008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058362340913722124,0.08245963286266816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917705764461838,0.10670853936637824,0.060304791049049074,0.0,0.06559867935554795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686161308592847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467879160655633,0.0,0.0,0.10259503076728917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22556327072979104,0.0,0.0,0.2042949603026608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970129094921932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755718057809996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16004230347687268,0.0,0.0,0.12670197284987395,0.10911392015959367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492563150660508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394420147907263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075400806659196,0.0,0.0,0.09179058146568564,0.115560546759102,0.11681624779636515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141582622881189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321339934655932,0.252512400292808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340173048030259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832690911342066,0.06730523739753791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403229616343301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095237701502907,0.0680806471369871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261991021689863,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Swizzlestixxx,2019/02/11,"Until 7 months ago I hadn't left my house in 2 years. Now I'm waiting for a blood test at my Dr. Surgery I didn't ever anticipate that I could do this. I honestly thought that I was gonna be stuck in my house forever. I think it's really important for people with agorophobia to see success stories, I know that when I was at my worst I was desperate to hear about anyone who had overcome the fear that I struggled with.

Don't get me wrong, I'm terrified still. But I am here.",2.3701237623762386,3.686779019801982,4.171373762376238,87.64240717821781,75.63366336633662,8.218316831683168,26.48638613861386,8.841846274778883,1.8467910891089103,375,14,84,8,8,127,70,101,0.18,0.701,0.119,-0.7313,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,2,2,0,11,2,1,0,1,9,22,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,8,2,16,2,12,11,1,13,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,8,55,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039395499961497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086743527767866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836889104504887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20810778932497795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25888811362717346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019994363008273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593010040022549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.530930347432535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643820873419107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499672870309587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836364163535971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949873568670653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473861146841029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18333274548140768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373093486366465,0.0,0.0,0.24051484434840645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474169470378279,0.0,0.1826466358663844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515409589022761,0.0,0.14815490460479225
mentalhealth,BotCasual,2019/02/11,"Depression/Anxiety at 17 I dropped out of high school last year,and started working at Domino's. I dropped out of school because of my anxiety/depression. Going to work was a way to try something new, and get away from the feelings of anxiety/depression school gave me.  I'm a very hard worker, and was able to move up in pay, and hours very quickly.

​

About two months in, I got an interview for McDonald's. I was able to get the job, but that was a mistake. Working two jobs gave me no time to sit around and think of how depressed I was. Working two full-time jobs, I woke up, went to work, and went to sleep. Over time this affected my physical, and mental health. 

​

To give another recap, about a year and a half ago, I started dieting. I was in my worst physical shape. I was at my highest weight of 225 lbs. . Eating filled the void of depression, anxiety, and loneliness I had. When I started my weight loss I was very healthy about it, cutting back on my eating, and adding some cardio. Sooner than later I went to extreme measures. I would rarely eat and do extreme amounts of cardio. 

​

Eventually my friend got me into lifting weights, and I started to eat normally. I went from 225 lbs. to 145 lbs., and rebounded to the low to mid 160s. I was never really into weights, and would go off and on. When I started working a lot, I had no free time, meaning I didn't exercise, or allow myself to have leisure time. 

​

I started working in February, and around April or May I took time off to go visit my grandma, who is ill. Seeing her made me depressed, as she was in a really bad state. It led me to think about a lot of things, and that put me into a depression. Around June, I quit my Domino's job, then eventually my McDonald's job. I took a couple of weeks off to enjoy myself, then went back on the job hunt.

​

About a month later I was able to land myself another job at McDonald's, this time as a maintenance worker, which is a step higher from what I was before. The boss seemed very nice on the interview, but things ended up not working out. Right before I was gonna start, he tried to get me to go to another store further away. Turns out he hired another maintenance person after me, one he liked more. I ended up complaining, and was able to go to his store, but he very much resented me over the other hire.

​

I went to management again, and they were able to put me in another store, but at that point I  really depressed and anxious, and ended up leaving. I went through a lot of bad bosses, and my self-esteem was so low I felt like I was doing a bad job. I would get paranoid and nervous at every little thing I did. Rather than failing I left to avoid embarrassment. 

​

Right now I still have no job, but things haven't been so bad. I've been enjoying working out with friends, and I'm in the best physical shape of my life. I've learned a lot about fitness, and nutrition, things I may of never learned if I kept working. For once I'm satisfied with my body, but I'm still missing things in my life. I only have a few friends, and only see them when I go to the gym. The rest of the day I'm alone playing video games, or watching things online.

​

I'm in a slump in my life, and don't know how to push myself to get a job or good set of friends. Trying for a job is always hard, since it always gives me the feelings of anxiety/depression I use to have with my previous jobs. Getting a good set of friends is also hard because of anxiety, and since I'm out of high school. I posted on here to hopefully encourage others to open up, and to get some advice. Thank you! :)

​

P.S.: I'm taking a test when I'm 18 to get a diploma. I had really good grades in high school, and plan on going to community college next year.",4.189377110228404,5.167867825000002,5.125084409136051,83.8587040714995,70.75,8.420059582919563,29.47120158887785,8.733022093515281,2.1977559582919564,2977,115,601,51,53,974,288,760,0.152,0.738,0.111,-0.9796,12,2,1,0,0,0,149.0,0,1,2,17,28,41,2,3,37,0,41,19,2,9,2,95,107,53,0,8,13,0,10,2,5,6,8,0,0,1,20,45,9,2,10,5,5,24,9,22,0,5,41,13,81,20,123,60,13,144,0,10,3,0,27,65,0,15,49,385,101,43,0.15448499309805258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030192189462659356,0.027388325058063486,0.0,0.0,0.03199997252267158,0.0,0.024708318633324386,0.0514175559169404,0.30129196586146484,0.33788911651066084,0.0,0.1619909850579927,0.07090835812559372,0.03490481395915166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251463794666809,0.0,0.0,0.058057494540248486,0.04751576956114728,0.10319081311552104,0.03766904716588304,0.0,0.05258214030762343,0.0,0.03242449385794825,0.0,0.0,0.03431960023664022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0341869413022931,0.0,0.0199260080647271,0.0,0.21289231709803969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646137212809186,0.0,0.0,0.08209671018577039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02603205391364541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03124490170602097,0.0,0.029665963971233326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935472245096095,0.0,0.12913925241724875,0.059278432881899976,0.1229163343599608,0.07774480963187598,0.04942230458128303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303292592248679,0.0,0.0,0.03284206472385447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793312621366514,0.0,0.03068769111653467,0.030427319913894326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679260437383994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016980182415018006,0.025185177642455283,0.0,0.03271546036374879,0.03356967940360468,0.0,0.0654703915735043,0.0301894257157181,0.030966909549628142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507009335706564,0.0,0.0292354871520487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033655889262277416,0.0,0.0,0.03113690755693632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049323379047224114,0.03283861985416102,0.0227128490396388,0.0,0.0476593401499798,0.029840513798204526,0.03285930855076285,0.0,0.030272498593264325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032904295160935154,0.020936605885257288,0.04699711944458807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02697806744185121,0.0,0.0,0.029207650488052492,0.0,0.029590783958319874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212003484197918,0.0,0.03286276121869007,0.0,0.0,0.07917363391435245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0527717360056301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634706057538605,0.04924181530386637,0.02812746713317952,0.032232307945270516,0.0,0.0,0.05111663307783156,0.0,0.030919312062503368,0.0,0.0,0.023786019028154592,0.0,0.0,0.15308338254257636,0.0,0.049348766017802234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023230697783025445,0.0,0.0,0.02844580518625735,0.0,0.0,0.1436861509262279,0.039595098298643744,0.0,0.0,0.10809773017305592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865540462880115,0.06293110179138144,0.03360706220163654,0.09054563442560927,0.0,0.0,0.026685086615928718,0.0,0.12746629828319872,0.0,0.024524599367339018,0.024783708614424502,0.15049688247518025,0.0,0.20049279084913554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22493382976554002,0.0,0.0,0.06584502402352188,0.0,0.33788911651066084,0.05968996233941446
mentalhealth,Natalie6606,2019/02/11,"I just had a binge for the first time in ages and my first thought is i wanna throw up I used to have bulimia on and off but it has completely stopped over a year ago barley any thought or anything, I went to therapy and did yoga to help myself.
Today I was in school and binged for the first time in over a year, 10 croissants 2 yogurts and I know it may not seem that much however it has made me feel so sick but not physically it's just like I feel so bad inside and I'm at school and all I can think about is going to throw up 
However I really don't want to go back to old ways because that's how it started in the past, 'oh just this one time'  and I know it's okay to eat more sometimes, but I just don't know why this mindset has come back, I've been trying to avoid foods that make me feel so full that it's sickening and have been fine.
But I'm so close to going to make myself throw up and I'm so mad at myself but at the same time I'm telling myself it doesn't matter and I'm really scared I'm gonna slip into my old ways.",1.4410822510822534,2.4349913116883144,3.2582900432900423,94.55981601731602,77.44155844155844,6.691774891774893,20.62554112554113,7.1686216300943375,0.1899541125541125,807,18,201,9,18,271,116,231,0.146,0.805,0.049,-0.9769,2,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,13,8,1,3,7,1,17,3,0,5,1,49,45,23,0,2,12,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,14,14,2,2,10,1,0,8,5,5,0,4,9,3,19,3,29,34,5,46,0,0,0,0,2,17,0,3,20,126,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228343837845536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613850621610547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423687750680972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947995714310102,0.1057623940229603,0.07721556771468767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911316798620957,0.13280886868200342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296128702147394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19214126756079306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32323091777965673,0.1531673107394937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21596483630295088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490281404900292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20884007274737806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061883530935999936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985621658651685,0.1691035952089106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311547092181917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26583327738723805,0.0,0.0858334378530817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091883011036304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229338278215147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681665143816265,0.25638932654044144,0.0,0.11531368624751152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527777830229458,0.0,0.08965618178050384,0.0,0.0,0.10590002464274777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071331561744416,0.0,0.1448557670403859,0.0,0.0,0.08116366682663792,0.0,0.20112030534266187,0.2954442522256091,0.0,0.12006634519307224,0.0,0.0,0.08599918000462657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094003840070982,0.0,0.0,0.074712001109287,0.2010861442589888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174223995021224,0.11429806533058252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313993143529235
mentalhealth,-An-Honest-Liar-,2019/02/11,"I am a Pathological Liar  

I Am a Compulsive Liar.

I don't have a diagnosis or anything on account of pathological lying being one of many symptoms of a mental illness (and it’s embarrassing as fuck to admit). I’m not here to ask for attention or cry that I’m mentally ill or to bitch about my life. I'm also not here to make excuses for myself or the things I’ve lied about. I'm here because it’s the only way I can articulate my feelings and thoughts at the moment. The reason I am writing this is because I feel like I don’t have an identity, like I'm not a real person, a blank slate. The me everybody in my life knows is a fake and everybody knows a different version of me. What I mean by that is that I tailor my own personality to be the most likeable to any person I meet and already know. Charismatic, they call me. I don’t know if it’s charisma or the terrible habit of always wanting people to like me but it’s a confusing way to live. I don’t even know if my perception of that is true or not. I say people call me charismatic but I easily could have deluded myself into believing that. I don’t even know who the real me is anymore. I can’t even trust my own thoughts and memories. 

Who Are You?

At this point in my life, I feel like I’m nothing more than a ghost. The reason I'm able to sit here and write this is because I am a lonely, anti-social person now. I wasn’t always like this, in fact just 2 years ago I was a pretty social person and had my life together (or at least I remember it that way). The descent into my realization that I am just a shell began when my lies caught up with me, and not in the way you’re probably thinking. Despite my unhealthy tendencies to lie about everything, I am very rarely caught (but I could be lying to myself about that too, jesus I hate this). I have been a pretty big liar since age 5 (I was a pretty fucked up kid but now is not the time to get into that), but I think I can pinpoint when my Identity began to fade away because of it. I was about 12 or 13 and I had been sent to a mental hospital for confiding in my therapist that I felt like my life was worthless and that I didn’t want to be alive. She took that as suicidal intention and sent me away (even though I was probably too much of a pussy to kill myself). I couldn’t tell you what they diagnosed me with because I don’t know but I think a part of it was depression because they gave me an anti-depressant called Lexapro. I was in that place for 6 days I think. The rooms in that place looked like the bastard kid of a cheap motel and a jail cell. When I was there I met a girl named Grace who was in the room next to mine. We became fast friends and talked through the paper-thin walls at night. We would eat lunch together and go to group therapy. It was a good platonic friendship. When I left the hospital I felt really fucked up by the medication. It was like I was a mannequin, just moving through life in the backseat of the person the medication was turning me into. I’m not against people taking medication for the problems they have but it just doesn't work for me. I felt like I couldn't live like that and began looking for ways to deal with depression in a different way. When I got back to school, I had decided to tell my friends that I had lost my virginity while I was away (they thought I was on vacation or something) because I thought it would make me cool. The acceptance and respect I got made me feel like I wasn't so worthless. I then began to fill the emptiness I felt inside me with tall tales of the interesting things I did, and the spiral that landed me where I am today began. 

“Fake It Till You Make It”. 

The thing that made lying so appealing for me was the confidence it instilled. I began lying just to see what I could get people to believe. It’s a sort of rush, like a drug. Of course I would get caught every now and then but through those experiences I would learn my limits and became a very experienced liar. When you become as good at lying as I am, you begin to believe your own lies and the lines between the real you and the you that others know is blurred. As I grew older a peculiar thing about the lies I told became apparent to me. Some of the lies I told would eventually come true. I'm not saying I can see the future or that I'm supernatural or something but it was weird. I lied about losing my virginity, lied about going to parties, I lied about being with a lot of women, and much more. Eventually I caught up with my lies and actually went to parties and became a bit of a player (I'm not proud of that, I cheated and I was kind of a dick). I had begun lying about drinking a lot and doing drugs when I started to party because I thought I would be better accepted and make me seem cool (yes I’m well aware that is stupid as hell but nobody can explain the mind of a 15 year old) . I regressed into becoming an alcoholic and cocaine addict as I went on living my “fake” life of parties and sex. The only reason I truly know all that stuff happened is the damage that lifestyle had incurred on my body. The saying, “fake it till you make it” has always stuck with me in a sentimental kind of way. I think I may have took it a little bit too close to heart.

​

Let me know If I should write more and thanks for reading",3.7975245098039214,4.598180698529415,5.229732352941177,83.40595392156867,71.51838235294117,8.33943137254902,27.09857843137255,8.608573733854374,1.7990532696078438,4152,137,869,69,75,1398,383,1088,0.166,0.701,0.133,-0.9934,3,2,7,1,0,1,96.0,2,9,5,6,44,64,14,2,77,3,89,32,3,11,4,170,187,77,3,18,38,0,8,12,2,8,20,3,2,10,61,46,4,1,42,3,2,17,22,32,1,1,65,18,146,32,127,102,18,110,2,8,4,7,60,45,7,23,52,616,207,4,0.04306272597157326,0.0,0.04202300867535385,0.04694472760610086,0.0,0.0,0.03817250831759363,0.046020957852379515,0.0,0.0,0.047520788932147236,0.03443724640133276,0.10749491307420536,0.04665844559878275,0.052325925505701726,0.029284130344464882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04270665286415181,0.0,0.0,0.03543695429255895,0.0,0.040257835742715985,0.0,0.12137654576564567,0.033112578168699495,0.0,0.21000510446799356,0.0951187951380994,0.0,0.14555083717781633,0.0,0.03808548166654928,0.09402668722542967,0.04783298075776038,0.0,0.0,0.13191557375512758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03709472539016733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314624792719272,0.0,0.047302382409941376,0.02777189576123037,0.044395779598739936,0.11126958833665668,0.04370776039788634,0.0,0.08998276641256357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04218507730114273,0.09987818123272812,0.044063919290243836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377009747993147,0.0,0.03628220391119223,0.0,0.03870200140265019,0.04212360908946247,0.0,0.0,0.08709523256547849,0.09229206011529432,0.16538788027973056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665403105278542,0.11943238877159325,0.06749549091503207,0.0,0.04894707910110906,0.0722379428955206,0.0688823916287002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03808022635982574,0.0,0.0,0.04251552659323389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102953761525597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04764252601389072,0.08968640485716735,0.2366614800640028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678777776795002,0.044034554894881575,0.21291533808879168,0.252459272728839,0.04316016440754666,0.11407552793583607,0.0,0.07232368838289384,0.04817617534348185,0.04700805233313778,0.07322077936675607,0.0,0.08149398505491433,0.14372351986786228,0.04365884517307152,0.0,0.04690793285374906,0.0,0.13014349796344504,0.13019129795431178,0.0,0.04348107742802812,0.0,0.0,0.0457688627129902,0.06331211689972274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579769760674288,0.040411451175262215,0.0,0.04131984697786652,0.0,0.04518708697695439,0.0,0.029180417590445814,0.06550228716426391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046632735795202336,0.0,0.11941708834331388,0.22560426786963544,0.08998276641256357,0.0,0.04070819514624906,0.0,0.0,0.13143082092759167,0.09285780396931384,0.04120521300662024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04307437935679469,0.14704442935846726,0.02758708494150813,0.13282696315698006,0.0,0.0,0.04878167394905986,0.0,0.0,0.10273562431156773,0.0,0.0435817776924488,0.06863083449883492,0.039202688401641636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035621931921616966,0.0,0.0,0.043897026111062616,0.0,0.06630358061471542,0.0,0.0,0.03048001908531375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049296518570528434,0.04710363284965155,0.0,0.0,0.04475866070775169,0.03237781070825157,0.034612187948882316,0.07527744113126783,0.0396463724149268,0.04924598010227592,0.04999914391231085,0.11443584665523406,0.13796428002959665,0.042308909625668766,0.1709349713413039,0.025110221815293238,0.0,0.040818429028666406,0.08229656015683555,0.0956885460751856,0.0,0.04683988008402013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106251764009562,0.05079902298958358,0.23926831229931186,0.0,0.0,0.03871856227392849,0.07983915680527688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031350177381896334,0.0,0.0,0.1835431500014304,0.0,0.052325925505701726,0.05546196731752615
mentalhealth,I-NeedHelp,2019/02/11,"This is my last hope Im 20yr old male living in ontario canada and im
At my boiling point. Life seems pointless to me, and suicide is constantly on my mind. Ive tried to get help and talk to people; my parents, friends and even my family doctor. Yet i keep being ignored. The more this went on, the more my will to live died. I honestly dont know what to do. Im tired, i want to get better but the constant let downs have just killed me completely, not to mention I’m brown so my parents don’t really believe in mental illnesses and in turn me. I really dont know what to, and i feel like im on my last straw. Its at the point where i do nothing all day, and stay at home.  Im writing this in the final hope that i can find a way to get better. If you read the whole thing, honestly i just want to say thank you. ",0.8226136363636378,2.4230042159090956,2.980681818181818,93.28477272727275,80.70454545454545,6.218181818181819,21.227272727272727,7.1686216300943375,0.4390295454545456,626,18,147,8,16,213,99,176,0.102,0.736,0.162,0.8126,2,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,2,0,2,6,11,1,0,7,0,13,5,0,0,1,26,29,10,3,5,5,2,1,1,1,1,4,1,1,1,8,7,1,2,5,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,3,22,9,21,25,4,25,0,0,1,0,11,14,0,4,9,90,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309430349683187,0.0,0.17755656123740496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524690893224664,0.21695104003719934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473703488354106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417897683897703,0.0,0.0,0.1027435629600634,0.0,0.0,0.2352900938887952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630028818147822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462967993447824,0.0,0.05075533155223565,0.07171175693256525,0.0,0.10996178962098854,0.09174584033687364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775536254499558,0.0,0.15733380203550715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728284659741059,0.0,0.10068969639400303,0.1994007152715309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5421401289298694,0.0,0.0,0.08922268573674114,0.11105600766393683,0.0,0.1103328531996121,0.16364679952869782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026457300869856,0.07090162447265355,0.04904077874815616,0.0,0.17727541288100648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011598040175031,0.0,0.10135555924711928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963176730240693,0.0,0.10533231332361524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22292104504054208,0.0,0.0,0.06959111002213343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18978379235512224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040753512046742,0.0,0.12861247179868435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982649980662415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138251952279512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699211920381888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979983322515208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068193968128319,0.0,0.09241675887369342,0.0,0.0,0.06668825798335808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537246964707383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815168260989274,0.10918501844491127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841388688766932,0.07967726599281788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305360936848647,0.0,0.1120710991711414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fart2Start,2019/02/11,"(27m) Going to my first therapy session in 3 years today. I've been in and out of therapy since I read 12. I don't even know if I'm only dealing with depression or something more.

I'm very nervous because the last time I went my therapist sent me to a psych ward for 3 days. I missed work and got stuck with an almost 3000 bill.  

I'm already feeling like I'll be wasting time that could be better used on someone else who's life means more. 

I wish I could feel like I deserve to be happy.
",1.5387619047619054,3.0546013523809563,3.457142857142859,91.0561904761905,78.33333333333334,6.19047619047619,25.0,6.937597516519254,0.895,382,14,85,4,9,129,78,105,0.126,0.721,0.153,0.4284,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,1,7,0,1,3,0,7,1,0,1,0,16,22,4,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,4,1,1,3,1,3,0,1,5,2,10,4,11,12,2,14,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,3,9,41,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751298317353128,0.0,0.18460450171864146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197612597520236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795106570740382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671288662026075,0.0,0.0,0.10788577155367374,0.17246474554406546,0.14408337468650634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974616968282993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049096946681844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691698767120285,0.23901861554386114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229357181949326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950726129667696,0.0,0.13379407065359453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780792900445739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193613065976794,0.13636059530069422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181592032196371,0.163455192606697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822237333534639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722870721544566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733148831671804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383808884577862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174106989304255,0.1287851037050139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826127395068059,0.19423219301914327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950918783303673,0.0,0.1585677746750786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448158151819512,0.0,0.13802864971952875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507600032397706,0.0,0.0,0.1923708952071843,0.0,0.0,0.12178635928455515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772683988481986
mentalhealth,Bzwaxx,2019/02/11,"How do i know if i have SCT or i am just insane? I have really detailed daydrems as you all do and i feel desynchronized/just not present and passive overall.  I know what really happened because i an remember it . The daydreams come and go and have a short half life . With that said how do i know if it will get worse or not . Am i some steps before schizophrenia? Most of my time i try to focus but end up walking and thinking , the daydreams ( and just stairing at nothing happens when i stop walking ) come and go and interfere with my train of thoughts( which are mainly self analysing and spotting thinhs i need to work on ;and if t'm stressed i panic).I think i have SCT because i have the symptoms. I am seeking help but i am also ashamed of my weakness that i couldn't handle it on my own . 
Plese tell me what you think ! Sry for my language . I am from Europe(Romania)",2.648081395348836,4.795368982558144,3.2152906976744187,91.15747093023258,77.19767441860466,5.695348837209302,28.77325581395349,6.6274283507984215,1.3114116279069767,683,31,138,6,16,213,101,172,0.102,0.862,0.036000000000000004,-0.8725,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,1,6,3,0,2,5,0,16,3,0,2,1,43,33,22,0,5,11,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,8,14,0,2,9,0,0,7,3,3,0,1,2,2,27,0,14,29,5,18,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,7,5,101,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809912734359886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105389127715568,0.0,0.1469454032486804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975121265929259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529509717312269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731661841446536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902227420311689,0.0,0.1962859873029704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30541617457167664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574962595089845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28471565489119743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197516792246656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804651661813435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569950869804645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026130349138073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22125766456336465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562268493291668,0.0,0.16426654224532167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18015202351764045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443755236842227,0.1978143744556845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794897278595863,0.0,0.0,0.15093757508563307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319559256503941,0.0,0.13709557436522316,0.10069619619651096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724432257185485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571946339877396,0.0,0.17598458482321386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pomegranate-goose,2019/02/11,"My partner (bipolar, adhd, ocd) paces around a lot. Is pacing ever a compulsive coping mechanism for anxiety/mood disorders? Can it be a side effect of medication? Is it ever pathological? My partner (19M) has a habit of constantly pacing around. As far as I can tell, it doesn't happen during a specific mood, though it does happen often when he's working or listening to music. He claims that it probably isn't compulsive, but he does it a lot and has outright said that he feels the need to do it. He doesn't attempt to control it and just does it randomly in any situation. This usually isn't a problem -- we have a ton of space to work in and we have a close group of friends who are used to and unfazed by his behavior.

The pacing does, however, cause occasional problems. Strangers and acquaintances get freaked out by his constant pacing and occasionally security officers will have issues with his constant movement. (I get it -- an unusually tall, lanky white guy with a very strange gait and emotionless resting face pacing around and around can be disruptive at best and suspicious at worst).  Tonight he got the police called on him because the front desk person of my dorm got extremely uncomfortable with him just looping around and around in the lobby. It got resolved quickly, but I got really concerned because this was the first time I realized how unsettling his pacing must be to people who don't know him.

My partner is diagnosed with and medicated for bipolar mood disorder and adhd. He was also recently diagnosed with ocd. I am curious as to whether the pacing may be a coping mechanism or a symptom related to his mental health or medication, and whether it may be a compulsive behavior, especially since he seems to not try to control it or not be able to control it.  Also, since the pacing has already gotten him in trouble with security people and the police, I wanted to see if it could be compulsive or pathological in some way because if it is then I would prefer that he develop a way to control it in social situations so that it doesn't get him negative attention from authorities.",9.862239360182805,8.405203331619541,10.06815338474722,61.37067337903458,59.385604113110546,13.785832619251645,43.4620108540417,12.650343791298138,5.7394831762353595,1692,85,276,50,18,568,188,389,0.065,0.863,0.07200000000000001,0.4051,1,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,2,0,0,11,18,12,0,0,24,0,37,12,1,8,3,77,56,35,0,10,15,0,1,0,4,5,11,2,1,5,26,30,0,6,8,0,0,2,9,5,0,1,8,5,23,5,48,35,7,38,0,0,2,0,35,21,0,16,13,207,49,4,0.07701702721449492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18511900007035675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499020468089845,0.12318097767589213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05237421953225388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.411368896673294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084659483126252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082461848863247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864299580586286,0.0,0.0,0.07911770226582725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249684136856072,0.3455245796472206,0.06149182929823253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634132285405122,0.0,0.0,0.17653637126026256,0.0,0.2695924780959685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393326208470636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03894212306239166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655106440044828,0.0,0.0,0.059503164176922425,0.0,0.1207146538770036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463902092110535,0.0,0.0,0.07625896554211961,0.13621180562627894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186549845045074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038576676007407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042326543987819085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095424476561432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327596569491864,0.07761504883408664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057107149800339624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678781864487642,0.0672482974784729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303738156409142,0.1473897873350998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04933907976729722,0.0,0.07604502297091989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326082960275443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061372599261824624,0.07011340901882744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274185615676586,0.17314073095207333,0.0,0.07850916026223848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005018056889437,0.0,0.0,0.06731627644835535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566883820143566,0.0,0.044909247923298375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052289505948200234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665179834268978,0.08482337459311888,0.06354711332755206,0.04542663809347757,0.12226506271066045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213862616103873,0.0,0.0,0.054710686406715066,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VapesOnAPlane,2019/02/11,"What's your opinion of money and mental health? Do you think money would help you overcome a lot of what you're going through? To be clear: I am not suggesting that money is **the** answer to mental illness (at least not for everyone). For me though, sometimes I get the feeling that if I were a multi-millionaire, my depression would go away (because, as just one example, I'd be able to leave the job I am doing now, which I hate and which certainly LARGELY contributes to my depression). I'd be able to enjoy passive income (from investments) and never have to do anything that makes me miserable again. I could travel where I want. Do what I want. Be what I want. Does anyone else feel this way or is it just me?",3.2355515587529986,5.206603532374103,4.377859712230215,84.30669364508395,74.8273381294964,7.511031175059952,25.971822541966425,8.344100000000001,1.826337649880096,557,20,106,10,12,182,88,139,0.102,0.767,0.131,-0.2359,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,0,0,6,6,1,1,5,0,17,2,0,1,3,25,28,7,0,7,6,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,4,1,4,3,3,4,0,1,1,2,17,2,15,20,2,10,0,3,0,0,5,3,0,4,3,82,28,1,0.3374953606328101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799230165622715,0.17290194016241622,0.138864962666211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585440004912164,0.0,0.0,0.10286701966153863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473129160893105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906842595762429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767223221543646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096703367496066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124564006529518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706477949369048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816369816166364,0.0,0.19180639103126385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660339837228694,0.0,0.17937089317905855,0.0,0.0,0.11310801306764792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745603451980687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867942821351931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346324333085378,0.0,0.0,0.11264038695841275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34011594376189164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014861402451947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434779540668855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16689577069993758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812669981406103,0.16579373913209772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985952618567629,0.13394405407717894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23974702097859946,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KingKaleb92,2019/02/11,"Bipolar 1 Manic (Trigger Warnings) January was a hard month for me, I lost my job, then I lost my home. I’ve also lost my dignity. 

Saturday (020219) was a rough day, I decided that I was either going to blow my sobriety of 9 months or I was going to jump off a bridge that’s over a highway. At that moment i chose to go dangerously sit on the ledge dangling my feet off.  I called a friend and cried for help. They took me to a mental health facility, I stayed for a total of 4 days. I’ve now been on medication for a week and half. (Risperdol/Trazadone) Full effect takes 6-8weeks, minimal of 2-3 weeks some affects.  

My mood is everywhere really highs and really lows. I’m so emotional and all over the place. I’m trying to hold myself together. I have a lot of support (friends, church, AA Fellowship). But me inside I feel empty at times then I have so much emotion I’m crying at everything. Am I okay? What’s going on with me??? 

Anyone else understand me?

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mentalhealth,4-00Throwaway,2019/02/11,"I've noticed more and more paranoid tendencies It's something that I hadn't considered to be a part of my mentality until recently. Mainly a vent, but I don't mind help. 

This paranoia effects me in the moment, believing things that are either impossible or irrational. (Even though I would later be rational about it.) 

Examples include:

- believing I was pregnant in my early teens by my father, even though I hadn't had sex, because of pains in my abdomen. This caused me to punch myself until it hurt. This is the earliest one I can remember. 

- believing that my partner (M) had talked about my mental health with people at his workplace, when I didn't want people to know. (This was due to them coming up and asking me if I was better. Later, M explained that it was my cough they were talking about, and that he would never blab about something like that. I know this and yet still thought it to be true.)

- believing that my father didn't care about my health because his only response was 'ok'. (Moreso, it was due to him having shock and not having the vocabulary to respond properly.)

- believing that a cousin (who is the nicest person in the world and who got married at the time) was being shitty for not saying thank you for a wedding gift I had sent as I wasn't able to attend. Obviously, they hadn't gotten around to thanking me yet and I had beat myself up over it. 

These are just a few examples I can remember. I don't know whether it's narcissistic or me not interpreting reality properly. Originally, I just thought that I was having issues with anxiety but I'm starting to think it might be something else. ",5.859318181818183,6.732778892857147,6.545220779220783,75.5656883116883,66.88961038961038,9.536623376623377,31.958441558441557,9.642632912329526,3.0496851948051944,1281,51,229,26,20,421,157,308,0.117,0.833,0.049,-0.959,0,0,3,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,3,3,16,10,0,0,11,1,38,6,1,3,3,44,56,19,0,4,12,3,0,1,1,3,4,1,0,2,27,11,0,0,11,0,0,3,12,3,0,1,24,1,39,7,35,24,6,31,0,1,0,1,24,11,0,4,18,184,66,0,0.10175055470976846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783889584945745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057956606201713,0.09512303333839416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405238747314112,0.0,0.0,0.5731901579682609,0.0,0.08999009696966771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374147184559816,0.10452584816718467,0.0,0.0876490932726283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499953211400345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441056350693134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137921369147008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163121631720768,0.0,0.0,0.06820125201231622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892607327183494,0.0,0.0,0.10620114349295773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677583315847898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049710181412151486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20508125432314175,0.10794125904023599,0.10273905443424064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847630051489958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158436809352072,0.0,0.0,0.06894880919639264,0.07738588191237658,0.10826976415870818,0.0,0.0,0.1101859352315072,0.0,0.1410820460922355,0.08884465967071686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046639749751247,0.0,0.2305270868019117,0.0,0.0,0.08091612507343307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23499764429374345,0.0,0.0,0.0720195663308051,0.0,0.08125812442777082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356648326640394,0.0,0.1873564803171927,0.0,0.0,0.06759854731176615,0.06519764695069268,0.19993880677312734,0.16155714958460735,0.05933156670755165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060015113433790485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445613493995713,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,COMD23,2019/02/11,"Nutrition/Supplements My anxiety and depression wax and wane but they’re always much more severe/present in the winter. Someone told me recently that there are supplements that can help since low levels of some things can cause or worsen anxiety/depression. Specifically they mentioned 5 HTP but I’ve also heard B vitamins recommended,  I’m currently on a prescription for D, and I’m sure there are others.  I’m not sure what has evidence of helping, what to try first, if it’s better in pill or food form, etc. Anyone have any advice? (Not looking for any MLM or homeopathic kind of stuff) ",4.194368686868689,7.046132527777782,5.1742760942760935,75.4528787878788,75.57407407407408,9.482828282828283,28.33670033670034,9.800150414767053,3.4640074074074083,475,20,79,15,11,155,82,108,0.127,0.7190000000000001,0.155,0.5107,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,3,6,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,1,2,15,12,10,0,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,2,3,4,9,10,5,9,0,2,1,0,6,5,0,5,4,48,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18936833841775605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497296910102895,0.16124794694891656,0.0,0.0,0.26356628948402944,0.0,0.14824803144073526,0.0,0.0,0.1355017534724057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139059565690254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19907465356943804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33382031138071383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612592708028805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483679867856987,0.23433039145452275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597853230645443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20180139095230126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273392759708105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245719041638796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134322876000107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603042383433437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164196765206535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221842006767508,0.0,0.0,0.3652876211963396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874478058635755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851736652471241,0.0,0.13156998982326534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sonder_____,2019/02/11,"Depression sucks. I'm slacking in self-care. I've spent actual hours binging manga tonight, but I can't bring myself to shower. It would literally only take a few minutes and I know I'd enjoy it---but it just feels too hard to do. It's so hard to explain to people why doing something ""easy"" is hard, or how if I'm met with any resistance it can feel like scaling a mountain. 

And I'm also in this vicious cycle of needing to work out, but I feel too tired. So then I feel bummed that I missed another day of working out. AND THEN I hate how I look more, I want to eat something sweet bc I'm feeling down, but then I just feel worse. And the cycle goes on and on. 

It just feels nice to get this out to people that understand. I want to get better. I have good days and bad days, but I've been in a slump lately. ",1.0872093023255829,2.8468137093023245,3.009476744186045,92.6330523255814,80.51162790697674,5.695348837209302,21.21511627906977,6.6274283507984215,0.27408604651162793,626,18,141,6,16,210,100,172,0.17600000000000002,0.6729999999999999,0.151,-0.5905,1,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,10,12,3,0,4,0,8,2,0,2,0,35,35,20,0,5,9,0,10,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,9,10,1,0,10,0,1,1,1,6,0,0,3,12,12,6,21,31,2,19,0,2,1,0,2,9,1,2,10,81,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.13528478441714725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086391960452016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427447927635116,0.1453676861678875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575188683351716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12260869316823013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682184152928384,0.0,0.11940349461569948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418550934276963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4906753522032292,0.09903869213307702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448589431583617,0.0,0.0,0.11627790155218352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372560988896399,0.1368703486697387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652454457849672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618849368364987,0.0,0.15638287696125722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677285677573378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641592189079905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279383365451583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543584428123884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192219876223708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462335741020935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134512947143519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423397276011752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933703190055948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432074812563964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353743081175645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509377123747167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018514200786676,0.0,0.1412777997860388,0.09848015909179207,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,haagendo34,2019/02/11,"Treated badly by people, don’t want to go outside anymore My whole life I’ve been treated badly by people. I seem like a magnet for idiots trying to prove their worth.

It ranges from verbal slights to assault. It’s happened through school, at university, at work, my commute.

It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to go outside anymore. 

It’s made feel feel like there is something wrong with me, like I have some bad social scent.

The happier I am the more these people seem to come out the woodwork. 

Anyone else get this?",3.4980474649406688,5.589991145631069,3.8811003236245964,87.62083063646173,74.4368932038835,5.3544768069039925,26.97842502696871,5.82211442006289,0.9526858683926652,420,16,78,2,9,131,69,103,0.14800000000000002,0.7140000000000001,0.138,-0.6369,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,2,11,2,0,5,0,6,1,0,1,1,12,19,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,5,0,1,3,2,6,0,0,2,4,8,5,15,17,3,8,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,3,3,45,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241439516597829,0.11426935378297685,0.16744645788625925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4093548257298197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407746810778088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651917639230804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526343649726524,0.1167496204387448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076383246430285,0.0,0.1857544267459484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445146625238585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543069225673495,0.2395210722665061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463505438034908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398913662916599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544878181113438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539307922966046,0.0,0.29754882394124244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665894486628847,0.0,0.1258112213687862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095367645850476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927825636988938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245625055160167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189740906894279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786776967886537,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,disteff,2019/02/11,"I believe I have major anxiety what should I do? I don’t necessarily know how but I’m recent weeks I’ve started to notice things I was doing as being weird in reference to my anxiety situations. 

As an example a few days ago I was going to a party I was uncomfortable with and on the drive there I begun to shake uncontrollably it felt like I was shivering but I noticed I had butterflies and was worried about the party. 

At that moment everything connected for me and I began to realize that I could have anxiety. No idea why it clicked there but it did. 

I was researching yesterday I did an online test for anxiety and got a very high number and on top of that read a few websites in which I had every symptom stated.  

I would like to really make sure that I do have heavy anxiety and it isn’t just normal. Because all my life I have always felt normal and happy and I thought these feelings I had were normal up until this point. They don’t seem to get in the way of my life but after looking back I believe they have. 

I’m not necessarily interested in going to the doctors because it doesn’t seem to be such a huge deal (and i don’t want anything to do with medication if I were to be diagnosed) 

I’d appreciate replies letting me know if it seems If I could have diagnosed anxiety. And if anyone has any questions let me know. 

Edit : I am writing this late I will do replies to questions tommorow",2.4125649136681133,4.624597252669041,4.678141557928034,80.05938183735337,78.25266903914591,7.8640305786213265,27.13338605509424,8.735056554316923,2.3578231448530382,1112,47,212,26,27,386,145,281,0.11,0.769,0.121,0.8019,0,0,0,1,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,1,7,8,0,2,11,0,41,7,0,2,2,50,62,22,0,12,10,0,3,2,0,3,7,0,0,0,16,12,0,0,15,1,0,4,7,3,0,0,18,5,35,5,31,34,4,31,0,0,2,0,6,12,0,9,15,163,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690374179735598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157450289099281,0.0,0.0,0.06666841175439744,0.0,0.4499874769820445,0.0,0.0,0.06854963669007895,0.0,0.08067596450050063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538427706861339,0.0,0.11952469315725962,0.0,0.0,0.220907889472908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654887583235613,0.0,0.0,0.06322565020818087,0.1010716753282624,0.0,0.19901065408415694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100344858001934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260026441815012,0.0,0.08810918865886161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049570371035602884,0.0,0.1882614776668648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512202016013209,0.0,0.11143318873748274,0.0,0.07840901528765819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436203717631028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035813020795948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067165716310663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163544705326338,0.0,0.11058982359402636,0.0,0.0,0.20049861837255986,0.13849263612904553,0.09579169415607652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232625282005117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544035071987762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987618004168654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881658585254002,0.0,0.22323117998814807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267650033873966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196473909786356,0.0,0.09806336829007793,0.0,0.06280490888238495,0.0,0.096799550400474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677471662805233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019751363990804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939097862080364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239855971860766,0.10189781245130183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513131903297467,0.0,0.0,0.07783029865363356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089065870500582,0.05782466717559179,0.07781707886789349,0.07863923805646332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846299775704207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995611679417427,0.0,0.06964255699280353,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hailey3637,2019/02/11,Relapsed after 5 month clean Today I was in a really emotional mood cause I seen my dad again for the first time in 2 years the other day and when I showed up he was drunk and possibly on something so when I went home I was already in a pretty emotional state and cried about it in my room for a few hours the next day (today I had and emotional outburst that started with frustration and then ended in me crying and standing in the kitchen for a few minutes while my mom ignored me I then went to my room feeling all sorts of emotions and started cutting my ankle with a blade I hide in my room surprisingly I felt nothing when I was doing unlike past times cutting I always felt it and it hurt and my brain told me to stop this time it didn’t hurt at all my Brian told me to keep going the only reason I stopped was because of curiosity as to why I felt this way is this normal to feel ? Obviously I don’t every want to do this again cause it’s an extremely unhealthy way of coping with emotions but is this normal for people to feel while  self harming?  I feel the pain now that I’ve calmed down and collected myself,5.682932482364798,5.371391414847164,6.377816593886465,80.71171649311387,67.16593886462883,8.96755122606651,30.715821296607324,8.384062270229773,2.142868726906282,890,30,179,11,13,293,124,229,0.14300000000000002,0.7879999999999999,0.069,-0.9424,1,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,8,11,3,0,12,0,12,4,1,3,3,35,29,20,0,3,1,2,7,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,13,13,2,4,8,2,0,3,2,8,0,1,15,8,28,2,31,14,4,50,0,2,1,0,6,14,0,1,29,123,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655790293366804,0.0,0.08034681782170128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886293146728733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779445401849326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983903079191348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21213632124528894,0.12454822570536883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5430928750646806,0.08552473695576633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135714177869985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529737502777927,0.0,0.27814225241109103,0.0,0.0,0.08213507510849268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548780672727236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968589545014344,0.0,0.09509352540496112,0.0,0.206741945611936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582820653718347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309154132624885,0.0770743859754789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269414136059213,0.0,0.1892193346109129,0.09265326486452692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343929377465726,0.1027481346787179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217877975320472,0.06694351458725419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885846669808386,0.0,0.09823765537571152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618597036260789,0.09928119857370836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073459651155388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433768110821473,0.0,0.0,0.1366933078382483,0.0,0.0,0.16145930354260338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891718165647815,0.0,0.18305782778783167,0.1845371060966224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05695441387324447,0.15329188502859914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902676517660632,0.08713164178572565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218237389082189
mentalhealth,anon-ymouss,2019/02/11,"I know I need help but I’m not sure if there is help out there for me. I have too many issues to mention. Never sought mental help but my life is a clusterfuck of unfortunate events. I know there are people who have it much worse than I do. One of my biggest issues is that my family doesn’t accept my girlfriend because of her religion. My girlfriend’s family doesn’t accept me because of mine. We don’t talk about it too much. It eats at me every night, and I thought about breaking up but I love her too much. She thinks her family will have no choice but to accept it in the future. I think she’s being overly optimistic. I eat a lot to cope with stress because I forced myself to end my nicotine addiction. I’m not overweight but I’m not in the great shape I was in 2 years ago. I don’t talk about my issues with my family for obvious reasons. I don’t talk about it with friends because they can only understand to a certain degree. I get anxiety and have trouble focusing. I haven’t seen a doctor yet because I don’t want to waste time and be told that I have to take medication.

What does one do",2.242368421052632,4.040094114035089,3.86477192982456,87.65873684210527,77.15789473684211,7.016140350877192,23.242105263157892,7.908726449838941,1.144895789473685,870,27,182,14,20,290,116,228,0.142,0.7,0.158,0.4554,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,1,0,11,10,0,1,6,0,23,8,0,1,4,34,39,9,0,3,9,0,0,0,3,1,5,0,0,0,9,8,3,0,10,0,0,0,12,2,0,2,4,1,37,8,28,32,4,19,0,0,1,1,20,9,0,2,9,130,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065692814728322,0.0,0.0,0.09811064688505948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466946981376007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373458012815325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328509827707685,0.09685632512278387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265053996393707,0.0,0.0,0.09802913378097472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325220303906674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4173549089580484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551066195997949,0.0,0.0578254400645571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202447499978104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22255828986907586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34656174455074035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165305307512805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817616271990728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409570323925616,0.09989251717852278,0.0,0.0,0.11221158186795112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149789325557677,0.11153884496167564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440863733533353,0.08206740346706921,0.08536280846522526,0.0,0.0,0.10386515822806454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999850795004205,0.08417670267655575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673118890312024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379689950933415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678292630524746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431406378771377,0.0,0.0832171657906084,0.26687982787395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183783416188675,0.0,0.087867113546976,0.06453807240616391,0.0,0.0,0.10575894942802304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522120193418645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528160220925243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279180650999412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127393156572556
mentalhealth,jsinwall,2019/02/12,"Teacher wanting to quit. I've been a teacher for a long time and I'm finding myself at the end of my rope. Not from the students, I can never find myself blaming them. They have their own hardships and difficulties, things I wish I could help them with.

I find I cant stand my working environment. Cant stand almost all of the other teachers I'm surrounded by. Cant stand the administration that is putting red tape everywhere and so much paperwork on my desk that I barely eke by on my classroom paperwork. Administration pushing their work onto all the teachers.

Teachers pushing blame onto other teachers. Blaming others from not completing work when it was really from lack of resources and support.

I feel like I'm far too along this path to turn away now though. I would have to go back to school, more in debt, and scrounging more than I am now. Already I live paycheck to paycheck and wish I had never returned to the United States. I made so much more overseas and was so much happier. Even if I was getting sick more there than here.

Are there any other teachers out there at the end of their rope or made this huge change? How did you?",4.227611111111108,6.179800195454548,4.57030303030303,84.06489898989899,72.04545454545455,6.8888888888888875,29.040404040404038,7.594959193182576,1.7905555555555557,913,37,170,11,18,287,125,220,0.073,0.8140000000000001,0.113,0.8374,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,6,4,17,2,0,0,9,0,17,1,0,3,4,32,30,15,0,7,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,4,0,1,4,7,0,0,0,8,2,26,2,29,20,11,31,0,0,1,0,8,12,0,3,12,130,36,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987753573481185,0.0,0.15414938171811235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499275344938812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124164465906893,0.10741158904339458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777157390684242,0.0,0.14646040049673972,0.0,0.0,0.11152964630015348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474445341054115,0.0,0.0,0.09226272637004164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063054166532054,0.09979326468798896,0.0,0.0,0.3830174013461627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298130935332055,0.0,0.07938801259294004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363004347767788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824458949906788,0.0,0.12334722336354542,0.12361964478946595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26435266947897673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080606581245618,0.0,0.21547227396501345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042520442021675,0.0,0.14857557545440347,0.0,0.0,0.08948782591152943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413718971513642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851649284875008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280262073026976,0.0,0.13724292896897494,0.0,0.08145330190453995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15194062886901605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239170857316253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212690295271688,0.0,0.0,0.3050839791657963,0.0,0.0,0.09923047620173713,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Doubting_Thomas_Jr,2019/02/12,"I'm not doing well I had a conversation with my wife about my mental health and as usual I got very teary. I told her if she really wanted to support me all she had to do was give me a hug. She wouldn't even do that. I get it, calling her my support doesn't mean she has to bend to my will. But it really hurts.

I cried by myself a while and went down to the basement to throw darts. It was a healthy distraction but then she came down and reminded me to try to get a good night sleep. I'm so pissed and hurt having to interact with her and I can't distract myself. I really think I need to go to the VA hospital and check myself in.",0.6357357859531767,2.3323278913043524,2.9152173913043486,93.06908026755856,81.68115942028984,6.564994425863991,18.586399108138238,7.61054688173877,0.2830807134894098,491,11,117,8,13,168,81,138,0.14,0.7609999999999999,0.099,-0.8335,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,10,1,2,7,0,13,4,2,0,1,19,29,13,0,4,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,2,0,1,4,4,5,1,0,8,0,26,5,19,19,1,12,0,2,0,1,14,4,1,1,4,85,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895387249463166,0.20044382499031813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925082293814893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575357786745455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18312590593120506,0.16811955343532933,0.09960085571894857,0.14699469426782133,0.14016658963478018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18628674837841375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37522594579754737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19090292364900385,0.0,0.0,0.176614756475036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994857964375686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446395543179307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368164945601346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538051138537614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977522000520808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229565156450867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746265486883816,0.0,0.11898592473970718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301746081714927,0.1446028587707091,0.10336931748261201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757434378155966,0.16246216288531734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HunterInTheStars,2019/02/12,"Where is my mind? I've always been a really anxious guy, been in and out of therapy for depression, anxiety and dissociation for the last few years, but I've always managed it okay.

That being said, 2018 messed me up big time. Had a sort of miniature mental breakdown at the end of 2016 and as a result started getting really heavy in drinking and smoking weed in 2017, but kept it more or less in check (stayed in school, performed pretty well).

Had several moments in 2018 when I thought I was gonna die, only realised later that these were severe panic attacks, also had some pretty crazy delusions, convinced myself that I'd been shot in the head once, I could feel the blood dripping down my face. Then my grandfather died, and I really started thinking about death, I remember walking in the snow while drunk and high, thinking about the silence of the universe... Scary shit, how vulnerable we really are. I cut out weed and stopped drinking as often and a lot of this crazy stuff subsided, haven't touched weed since April.

But since the end of 2018 I haven't slept properly. When it gets dark, and when I get tired, strange things happen. I feel very afraid in the dark, I run up the stairs at night. I always see things moving in the corner of my eye, even when I type this now things seem to be flowing in my peripheral.

One day, when I was driving through the park with some friends at night, I went into a trance and I saw a bus in front of me on the road, a moment later I snapped out of this, no bus. My friends had seen nothing, buses aren't even allowed through this park. Another night, I woke up and saw a man sitting at my desk, motionless. I knew this wasn't real, but I had to really work my head to make it go away. When I look at my clock at night, the numbers don't make sense, I see symbols. Another night I looked above my curtains and I saw symbols, the more I looked around the room the more I saw, they were scrambled, nonsense.

I seem to be in a sort of permanent psychedelic state, where the world always looks and sounds strange and unreal, anybody else feel this? Or am I just completely losing it. ",6.943962760131433,6.277632527710846,6.694529025191678,80.66431270536692,64.68674698795179,9.762322015334066,33.56243154435926,8.97023862654752,2.633963855421688,1669,61,333,23,22,525,216,415,0.183,0.7659999999999999,0.051,-0.9955,1,0,2,0,0,0,58.0,1,0,1,3,19,13,3,2,27,1,24,11,7,5,0,54,59,32,3,1,7,0,4,0,2,1,1,2,2,2,19,21,3,2,10,3,1,8,6,8,1,1,25,18,42,5,53,29,8,79,0,2,12,0,7,39,1,10,29,213,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555840487905372,0.2728516657663509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17192380821680825,0.06271354626611382,0.09261269290399428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297849930940943,0.0,0.09326270296790012,0.07702176723995406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859531965347924,0.0,0.0,0.0654533892805132,0.0,0.0,0.05286953449632239,0.0,0.07060820753870205,0.0,0.1701620724424069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061599962623388,0.0,0.0,0.06848275571815858,0.0,0.14521774212884267,0.0,0.0,0.10829242888348503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435281090030775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667321212401586,0.0,0.12849159509881475,0.0,0.04659043281162847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117188600048797,0.07249356898311281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826776892061987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866150874754079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682365147291397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753661306188969,0.09171329123951198,0.0,0.06969543155895128,0.0,0.0,0.10944295134787993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826153338311816,0.0,0.08277520349286206,0.0,0.0,0.08713047488244914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.384657682414965,0.0,0.07866085534674692,0.0,0.0,0.0873047307035736,0.05555094645605206,0.062348560224209225,0.0,0.09618444107618697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668037928379778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330980495891923,0.2625885448202157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286598278388153,0.0,0.07798059764568196,0.0,0.0,0.08296690722635404,0.1306529558962594,0.14926081421438744,0.0,0.18522538580798856,0.08415004490600203,0.13562739646925276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605001216583626,0.08737847736240846,0.0,0.06853793516570257,0.0,0.0,0.09384609576244804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374988535918136,0.0,0.16338918652793605,0.10505739075209453,0.0,0.06508199830256434,0.047802488886165166,0.09422255398173453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676410832747938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370877312045547,0.07599515515909587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059681531963396775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279164986679229
mentalhealth,anusbainussheamus,2019/02/12,"Can’t get my head out of the past. (Need Advice) I’m going to try and keep this short. It’s been almost 4 years since I graduated high school, and I cannot stop thinking about all the bad times I had going to school in my hometown. I can’t stop thinking about the people who messed with me. I can’t stop thinking about the people I considered friends, yet constantly manipulated me to make themselves look better. Maybe it was my fault the way I was treated. I cannot get over the fact that I have built such a bad reputation in my hometown. Everyone who knew me from there, will always remember me as a retard. I was the most quiet kid in my class, I didn’t want to cause problems with anyone. Yet people would do the things to me back then.

Deep down, I know I shouldn’t care, but all these years later I can’t stop thinking about it.

How can I get over this?",3.339556714471968,4.449279531073447,4.186666666666672,89.29674054758803,72.89830508474577,7.028074750108647,23.219904389395914,7.321109707123232,0.6782154715341155,675,17,148,7,13,217,100,177,0.086,0.828,0.086,-0.2467,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,10,9,0,0,10,0,18,1,1,4,3,32,36,6,0,5,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,10,5,0,5,7,0,0,2,8,5,0,0,7,2,25,4,21,26,3,27,0,0,1,0,4,10,0,2,14,97,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041111719463158,0.0,0.0,0.13363635148647554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104562189566722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933151507787168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261900019698147,0.22285944580569372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803049677165185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360667214514226,0.13709550495105569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421792612033704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275223976810153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310734646478996,0.0,0.20917488696341735,0.0,0.15169161079297666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696378940773912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100300582354652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862133223821435,0.0,0.0,0.07334362291445719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206896295719794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908254644800008,0.0,0.13407393305455834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989555221395089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127398323926074,0.277563607772982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769883819074118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117900463938022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701280722280804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039572395292116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4462989141030317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866186823800275,0.34205144419510203,0.0,0.0,0.07781894373436611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060748753197864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787154797131172,0.10593072112908401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480291975550884,0.0,0.0,0.1718818633235326
mentalhealth,LiamsArtWorld,2019/02/12,"Advice? Okay idk if this is the right sub for this or not, if it isnt please tell me the right one. But ive started to ecperiance very.. Odd things. Things i personally cant explain. No one will really take me to any form a therapy so i havent had the chance to asm a professional. 

For context: im a 17 year old non binary (genderfluid between male, female and ageder) i have mild depression and bad anxiety. I do take medication for my anxiety but not for the depression. I often get stressed and it causes really bad episodes and panic attacks. I also smoke weed and ive ate shrooms once before but i didnt really get any high.

I wanted to throw that info out there cause idk if it would at all be at all connected.

Issue 1: Something ive noticed that'll happen at random is time almost seems like it speeds up. Almost. Its like going from 30fps to 60fps. My vison and movements feel smoother. as far as i can tell there is no trigger. Itll just kinda. Happens.

Issue 2: Possible auditory and visual hallucinations?  Like there nothing sever at all. I mean we all have the moment where we think we hear our parents call out name and they really didnt. Except i can hear, in silence, someone shout for me, or i can be home alone and it sounds like people are shuffling around or having a conversation in the kitchen. And i see shadows out of the corner of my eye. They often move. Almost like people but sometimes theyll move like animals.

Issue 3: sensory issues. Now this one is hard to explain. I can be very very very sensitive to sounds and touch.  Like the smallest thing can make me visibly cringe and it overwhelms me. Sometimes causing me to go into a small rage or makes me very irritable. Like when you turn on one of those old tube tvs. They make the highest pitch noises continuously and it hurts so bad and it makes me wanna punch something.  Meanwhile if im already stressed or irritated the sensation of someone touching me like my hair or skin just kills me. Like i physically remove them from me.

Thats all i can think of at the moment. If you have any idea what could be wrong with me please tell! And feel free to ask questions. And yes i will be talking to a professional soon.",2.06067482845436,4.5739989466357365,3.6740859949647056,85.05438021424695,81.57540603248259,6.452307844202004,23.32334501653749,7.69321558396912,1.3143152589228408,1730,61,333,30,47,573,220,431,0.173,0.741,0.086,-0.9909,1,1,3,0,0,0,50.0,4,2,5,0,15,26,3,4,17,2,37,6,3,8,5,81,65,37,1,9,20,1,7,10,0,6,1,5,2,2,21,25,2,0,11,0,1,7,9,14,0,4,4,14,47,13,42,49,6,41,0,4,2,0,27,21,0,20,23,217,68,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678402548657301,0.0,0.0,0.2053070404331941,0.07078277589529602,0.07541824158038841,0.05465390257235616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394268276949653,0.0,0.10456447358408057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083979313547321,0.0638915146354781,0.07775007172681805,0.0,0.0,0.17119074541472842,0.0,0.0,0.05815489139643159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978588272096557,0.0,0.0,0.21062137708125087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456635449515995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772751648696388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911258669865866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141283290680966,0.0,0.0776818466034466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087104509741747,0.0,0.0612219378557081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540551410603708,0.0,0.0,0.07220817164344312,0.0685536391830114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316263538269215,0.0771509708417942,0.1476444169217024,0.28532950120067585,0.0,0.0,0.07561144537280295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338895608940601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18247803347970912,0.0,0.0,0.07444560352421811,0.0,0.06884842044982709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527566660884372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557698791345824,0.0778090014178725,0.1434290430997683,0.07278310469545055,0.18524404436089545,0.0,0.0,0.08018582943335233,0.07588685553390613,0.0,0.0,0.09476091432701393,0.05967450442252165,0.0,0.15004026477318935,0.0,0.07704650629824614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655984328441946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512919994557374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672916158430464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446055265925178,0.06221693475454064,0.0,0.07720817955037934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581366815581545,0.10522761874987707,0.1351860236624058,0.0,0.048373553857309085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15657343760056258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277091793764828,0.054931544930406605,0.17920448192361993,0.0,0.07815621978666143,0.0,0.13621223241091218,0.08758291799905371,0.0,0.0,0.03985137489419527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433759984113618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28195081790118226,0.04031049435381299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854893313814867,0.07472238307610661,0.0,0.04401067557663327
mentalhealth,stressed_nymph,2019/02/12,"Seemingly unstoppable crying whenever having serious discussions with my parents, gets in the way of me communicating effectively when I’m upset in any way, and they treat me like I’m incapable of thinking or making personal choices so I hide everything about myself to them I got diagnosed with severe clinical depression a couple years ago but have dealt with it most of my life now ( I am only 19). I’m really concerned and irritated by this reaction I have to my parents, although it mostly is my mother because she is the parent that I live with and actually have a better relationship with despite our frequent conflicts. They usually arise when I ask permission to go out, or when she makes a show of telling me that she will always know best even when she makes me unhappy, or even in many cases where i have a medical procedure or get medical help of any form and she tries to tell me differently from a qualified med professional bc “i’m your mother and i will always know even slightly better than you”. I hate how much I’ve been coddled and how sensitive I am, I yearn for independence but am simultaneously terrified of almost everything in life (which clearly led to my depression and suicidal thoughts).  I don’t want to make this too long but basically i end up in tears any time we have a “talk”, and i hate it because I feel like my words and emotions are invalidated by the little bit of me that my mom “knows” of my personality, which is a quiet crybaby. I can’t help that I cannot stand being around her or living with her and our relationship was the best when i lived away from her at Uni for freshman year. I was forced to come back home, im still not in school and it’s making me suicidal, and I just wish that my parents would stop shutting me down and stop treating me like their obedient dolly. I can’t stand my life as it is now and if MAYBE I can just stop my annoying flow of tears whenever my parents talk to me, They can stop treating me like i’m an idiot with no capability of making my own day to day choices. I can choose who i spend time with, i dont want to ask you permission to just leave because ive been stupidly obedient for so long and now i dont even have the guts to rebel. Im starting to think I’m a lost cause and just as stupid as they treat me. This post feels like a train wreck but I hope it’s not too senseless or incomprehensible. 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mentalhealth,ThrowAwayyy2133,2019/02/12,"What is wrong with me? Hey everyone! I wanted to gauge your opinion and see if any of you have suffered from the same things that I do. I was diagnosed with OCD over a year ago now, and I am doing things to try and overcome it. However, I have side effects that seem to be unrelated to OCD. I seem to be having trouble with some motor functions, I feel apathetic, I can't focus on anything, I am struggling to read and spell, and my short and long term memory are almost nonexistent. On top of that I have developed some type of social awkwardness/anxiety. I was always considered the smart kid and I graduated from high school as a valedictorian, so these things are definitely new developments that have occurred within the last year and a half. I always seem to be in a trance-like state where nothing feels real and I feel like I am losing control of my body. Anyways, thanks for reading this. I would appreciate if someone could let me know their thoughts on this.  ",4.264072072072075,6.17777176756757,5.229729729729732,79.53504504504505,71.86486486486487,8.392792792792793,28.54954954954956,9.029198982220553,2.4362684684684695,767,30,143,16,15,251,117,185,0.093,0.825,0.083,-0.4321,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,1,4,4,8,0,1,7,0,22,2,1,2,0,33,33,13,0,5,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,12,12,0,1,9,2,0,0,1,5,0,1,3,4,23,3,24,24,4,20,0,2,1,0,6,11,0,9,9,107,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275413078354321,0.0,0.14407545347869655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394400648248958,0.0,0.0,0.09784361697905217,0.0,0.11006812467999408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184013232395915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981870703267426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137412132237547,0.11487680478927804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603559392335855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748390367004568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182507848687627,0.1027881981800124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520175594433429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907291402100543,0.11728174277823285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712747390131076,0.0,0.07029270374183952,0.0,0.0,0.1273296408058261,0.0,0.16096538269623764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896060267415866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805713995189822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878387048426194,0.1637674132236675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561466274214133,0.11465406356050405,0.3929499817887913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466679651677649,0.12190940985297025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504150509433324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246575641977945,0.0,0.0,0.28676326607026825,0.0,0.0,0.1142249789733301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976853581344318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486439736876718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220851963518124,0.15731064853865112,0.0,0.1853085416329067
mentalhealth,meelei19,2019/02/12,"My bf helped me through a panic attack for the first time We went ""snuba"" diving (shallow water scuba, where your air comes from a raft up on the surface). He loved it, but I had a rough time. I got seasick, then had issues controlling my breathing and handling the weighted belt they make you wear. When we got back on the boat, I was crying and gasping for air. Before long I was having a panic attack and vomiting over the side of the boat. It was miserable, but he was awesome about it. He didn't really know what was going on because he's never seen someone have a panic attack, but he rubbed my back, got me water, and even wiped my vomit off my chin without complaint lol. He was so patient, and reassured me afterward that it was no big deal, and that he wanted to do whatever he could to help. I just wanted to mention how much it helps to have someone who supports you unconditionally 😍 I love him so much ",6.2258011049723745,5.7915753646408845,6.854635359116024,78.15631767955803,66.07182320441989,9.007955801104972,31.359668508287285,8.238735603445708,2.2512647513812163,715,24,137,8,10,236,111,181,0.166,0.688,0.147,-0.6274,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,3,1,2,10,11,3,4,11,1,15,9,2,3,1,22,29,14,0,3,5,0,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,9,9,3,1,1,0,0,3,4,7,0,1,15,4,21,4,17,13,2,25,0,1,1,2,25,12,0,0,10,97,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43027566094605096,0.0,0.19388333425677684,0.0,0.07685238532650265,0.0,0.10727807609303444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859995566252262,0.0,0.0,0.14140058639670428,0.10065831762537608,0.0,0.13848428795251289,0.0,0.1299748049167196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326943663880364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723686849621346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164968286299064,0.0,0.3024941389155658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25351042440204263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315865235339081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928593208777424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156984607004088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275699947138599,0.0,0.08415410935727714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853550071038637,0.0,0.09723457982580604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44375535599721294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807650190153494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21364097166546112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430651312484991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470273170718654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872118842617368,0.0,0.0,0.1535218604214568,0.0,0.11687010481933033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152901076522153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iJaybe94,2019/02/12,I cannot relax at all. I’m fine when I’m with friends or my significant other. But I cannot seem to relax mentally when I’m alone like at work or when I have a day off to myself all I can possibly think about is the stressful things going on in life or the things that are upsetting me or the things I feel trapped about that I have no control over and just even though I understand it’s pointless to stress and dwell on things out of your control it seems I just won’t let myself chill out ever. I don’t know what I’m even doing I’m sorry for just ranting nonsense I’m just not very happy at all. Just wish I could relax and enjoy things like normal people and get excited or enthused by the things people around me get excited about. ,5.018336917562724,4.748789658064517,5.743440860215057,84.55960573476705,68.54838709677419,8.695340501792115,27.544802867383513,8.167268648758528,1.5590716845878134,587,16,126,7,9,192,86,155,0.18600000000000005,0.654,0.16,-0.6523,0,2,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,3,16,16,0,4,5,0,12,1,0,2,4,35,28,14,0,3,12,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,12,8,0,2,6,3,0,1,6,4,0,0,0,1,16,12,21,25,3,17,0,0,0,0,2,11,0,7,7,93,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282664249819288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276352931789608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30934144904929345,0.1101048822589028,0.0,0.0,0.08893647731292753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216818506748586,0.12474179080594724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972825371483263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654405569815303,0.0,0.14409798183744196,0.0,0.07837385008636871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468010518057252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578826643134266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410158754038185,0.09740546084178242,0.1347455630116471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389744932119255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511634521073138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19121012226769354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554657001171054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510846963861646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543719005951621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31593644236231233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5497025392508521,0.08836312195853499,0.13548968401036834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435626140074737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378499405000432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858244799917476,0.0,0.0,0.10039553523650968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,inlovewithjeffwinger,2019/02/12,"Is this unusual? I all my life have had this weird habit of grabbing a small object like a pen or a spoon and then i fixate on it and start tapping it with my hands, while i do this i begin to daydream or fantasize scenarios involving myself or others that are often exciting and sometimes influenced by things like tv shows/films/games etc. 

​

I only ask because i have never seen anyone do what i do, i love it though as it is like slipping into my own little world. I do get concerned that there might be something wrong with me though, i mean does anyone else regularly use small objects to focus on and tap while slipping into imagined scenarios?",7.269761904761907,7.148168357142861,7.256984126984129,75.09357142857142,63.841269841269856,9.739682539682539,33.87301587301587,9.23628265651192,3.03428253968254,527,20,92,8,7,169,85,126,0.04,0.8370000000000001,0.123,0.883,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,3,0,12,3,1,2,2,19,20,13,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,8,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,15,5,11,16,3,14,0,0,1,1,3,8,0,5,9,71,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20614529887771407,0.2311852316123299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26606671282507793,0.1949425946199624,0.0,0.0,0.17786626782887546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597998087705665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16649673262403533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589367896893611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218882228795335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099402355200765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438539657011686,0.2788524754910319,0.19068927130390945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171596901627656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072475778773932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018344896754609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467392932681901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14470036872599235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464704971101706,0.18817078941267015,0.0,0.13466613736280048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639947338753024,0.0,0.3738565530010378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432249118427955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20801809875464314,0.2311852316123299,0.0
mentalhealth,thedude1835,2019/02/12,"severe brain fog iv been dealing with depression and anxiety for around a year now,but the last few months my cognitive performance has gotten a lot worse,i feel like i cant focus,my thoughts are stuck to the point i autopilot the things i do,when i read i dont actually read i kind of see a word and assume what the word is or where the sentence is going. i basically feel so stuck in my own head that i cant do anything in the real world,is there any advice or tips someone can give me on ways to deal with this problem?",7.2967272727272725,4.983940672727275,7.793636363636362,78.37045454545455,65.0,11.345454545454546,33.81818181818182,9.888512548439397,2.8624,414,13,91,7,5,138,77,110,0.14800000000000002,0.8140000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.884,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,9,0,10,3,2,0,0,16,19,5,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,3,11,2,10,14,3,11,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,4,4,54,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.1750797720049251,0.0,0.0,0.17531886983308784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200599209067099,0.0,0.1372493287121369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764040161952852,0.1597142983771546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20028260146220836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699308171947707,0.15452688714384544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102689759509258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18143171968102192,0.12817163225731765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210788689545847,0.10196370654387764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841279891129585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682949899709966,0.0,0.14624434197730746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765141070566575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252926624781507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432045708643131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696018859572356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167260331944093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589201608719781,0.20420959833030475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296776022620886,0.0,0.0,0.20268396045344805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201480641792134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919304788699925,0.0,0.0,0.14243271366553048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240852090269127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155351425205316
mentalhealth,crazy-plant-lady,2019/02/12,"It still doesn't feel like enough Today I took a shower (brushing teeth and all that included afterward) and unloaded the dishwasher. Still feel like I've failed and wasted yet another day just doing nothing--or at least, not enough.

I know it's best to take small steps and consider even small ""wins"" as good things but even that is failing me right now. There was more I wanted to accomplish today and just...didn't. Instead I got stuck in that hopelessness loop for a majority of the day.

Guess I'm mostly venting, but support or advice is appreciated too.",5.2233653846153825,7.0822292211538445,5.5915384615384625,78.12846153846156,69.28846153846153,9.046153846153846,28.384615384615394,9.516144504307137,2.6706192307692307,445,16,79,10,8,142,77,104,0.15,0.688,0.161,0.3172,1,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,5,10,9,0,0,4,0,5,1,1,0,1,17,16,9,0,1,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,3,5,6,7,12,8,16,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,3,11,53,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183161180830206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19654394487531676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19670347492316176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417626035953046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873448697257382,0.0,0.2476006248773749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954746884045431,0.2678099343845369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721318867589135,0.14991042099900376,0.0,0.20648289009593904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301042478861866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314441453527056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600700984803594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993747196609588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270118620440426,0.0,0.0,0.14092923081020595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452475548421432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553365517962521,0.0,0.20824930563149674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055514686185183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HeliosAdraconis,2019/02/12,"I need help with my nightmares. I'm going insane! I have had the same nightmare for the last 10 years and it changes every time I have it but it has the same principles: 

I'm searching for the people in my house, I find myself alone, I go outside to look for people and fog roles in, then I'm surrounded by these shadow figures who are reaching for me. Then everything fades to black and I see 2 white flames and I hear ""15 years"". Then I find myself in a post apocalyptic version of New York (never been there) and all I see are people I care about dead in a series of different ways. With tears streaming down my face I seek survivor, then I am attacked by a creature leaping towards me and clawing me across my chest. Then everything goes to black and I hear ""its coming""

I'd wake up with cold sweats, sometimes tears on my face, breathing heavily as if I ran a marathon, and I'd still feel the pain from the claws that attacked me. I'd wake up between 4-7. At first the nightmare only appeared once every few months, but it has progressed over the years and now I have it almost every night. I'm 17. Had it since I was 7. Its gotten to the point where I feel the pain throughout the day and it is sometimes unbearable. 

I have acted as if everything was ok cause my parents havent believed me when I told them about it and I don't trust people enough to see a psychiatrist. But over the years it has slowly twisted my social life. I have outbursts of anger to the point I sometimes black out and do things I absolutely regret. The more I feel emotional pain, the worse the clawmarks feel. I have scared people and pushed people away either cause they are scared of what I did or I'm afraid of hurting them.

I need serious help cause I want to live a normal life, but I'm too afraid to reveal who I really am. So my gf recommended this and I'm trying it out. 

Please tell me something that can help me if you want to help. And no medication or seeing an actual professional, I need to keep a low profile. 

Thank you for hearing me out. ",3.1281456023651124,4.720517480487807,4.0486252771618645,88.16488174427202,74.1951219512195,6.7257945306725775,24.863266814486327,7.348242739294969,1.033235772357724,1597,51,330,18,33,514,202,410,0.17600000000000002,0.735,0.08900000000000001,-0.9926,2,1,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,2,3,2,10,18,3,4,24,1,25,13,7,3,2,57,59,33,1,10,10,1,4,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,20,22,0,1,8,1,0,7,4,14,0,1,9,17,53,4,48,50,8,52,0,3,9,0,20,22,0,7,21,216,73,1,0.0,0.0,0.07675631034466711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876200711090449,0.08146325844401239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896371276795886,0.07389932411650152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861768494219245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019440790853223,0.24240224345516215,0.08320696882239742,0.06775465022493207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050726216829851824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217813719374603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847672227607198,0.0,0.08127203941983073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19881166469377146,0.0,0.21207116702929976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908210551943622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377919527940705,0.06690423096264095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940333670475968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26595100881732564,0.0,0.21088418841361795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075775471492067,0.08420221726598576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991252087720108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411463740452017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111325018387444,0.0,0.0,0.06945414667647781,0.0,0.06605071418939341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923702620624434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278197851278262,0.0,0.0,0.17496591574944426,0.06066388246362101,0.07596586171825576,0.0,0.07381275129179382,0.07706557794391528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376541882072656,0.0,0.05982096523248773,0.2510846282582149,0.0,0.08733749767043059,0.0,0.0,0.3271784451756208,0.0,0.0,0.08633999381648054,0.1487095264575534,0.0,0.07533011721962246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05038865421639781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749552541588388,0.0,0.2507126356754941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506454791886014,0.0,0.0,0.08017926049556723,0.0,0.06055275872727476,0.2333765632458221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628142926865503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874827404745966,0.0724153115411065,0.0,0.0,0.05225514329710185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045864587977691926,0.0,0.0,0.07515859181450489,0.0,0.05340184386893504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927859688466612,0.062432984124656574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015655782657606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20260595849466387
mentalhealth,ExistingHalf99,2019/02/12,"I think I'm a bit mentally fucked up. Im 22, virgin, never been in a relationship, drifting around doing temporary jobs, no real close friends. Have abused drugs, (lsd, mdma, coke etc) have only lived at home with parents or in hostels. Lost in life, don't know what im doing day to day ",3.956578947368424,4.920212684210528,5.286798245614037,82.5396710526316,71.28070175438597,7.805263157894737,26.530701754385966,8.07648339933343,1.5946175438596488,221,7,44,3,4,74,47,57,0.202,0.746,0.051,-0.8442,2,0,1,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,2,0,6,5,0,0,1,8,11,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,8,9,2,11,0,1,0,2,3,7,1,1,3,22,2,1,0.0,0.23790635857750125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874795552153758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21921347882979564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589891896934241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23285563081390465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22393678981817014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155131839519715,0.18562949307362764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20141131677155147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4337808580341181,0.0,0.19925564038671967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103503438879159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418257285273703,0.0,0.0,0.17730351574339706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21918880668962404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20235168106764576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548636064819287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271179560076162,0.0,0.0,0.22295638394823897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285459008386289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21557607291418915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865976956957614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eipic,2019/02/12,"An old friend told me that I’m not who I was and it struck me deep. But I needed it to further question myself. 
Last night, I went out with a few friends and ran into an old colleague of mine. We had a very deep chat about how we were when we were younger and more innocent. She said that she thought I changed as a person. Not in an ethical way but an emotional way. And I know Ive changed too. I used to be an outgoing person who could talk to anyone. Now i’m an awkward son of a gun who sees live as dour and grey. 

Earlier that evening a letter came in the post saying I was caught speeding. €80 fine and 3 penalty points. I just sank mentally. I was at friends house drinking and I just couldn’t relax. I felt like a complete fuckup who’s a failure at 18. 

My friends comments made me think though. I need to talk to a doctor or something about it but i’ve just never been sure with how to approach the doctor. My girlfriend helps me through it but I’ve relied on her so much to cheer me up that  all i feel like i get now is to just toughen up but thats not how I was raised and It makes me feel weak when she says that.  I love her to bits and shes always there for me.",0.7360761154855666,2.4691554094488204,2.24222440944882,97.83701115485563,81.51968503937006,5.178215223097113,22.000656167979002,5.985473137389443,0.013037270341206941,910,29,219,6,24,295,141,254,0.087,0.733,0.181,0.9749,0,0,2,1,0,0,19.0,3,0,0,0,18,13,0,1,16,0,14,5,0,6,3,50,36,24,0,4,13,1,3,2,5,0,3,3,0,2,15,17,1,0,7,3,0,5,5,2,0,0,17,8,37,11,28,16,5,31,0,0,2,1,33,13,0,2,12,147,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144890746661547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525072789882485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310729436759713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394463377779731,0.0,0.0,0.2579547122452324,0.0,0.12783294332804224,0.0,0.0,0.09734483113885442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24958475634947205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943718678040208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714588908917247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052836009836492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329489745090295,0.08710113249802283,0.11706428203966965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37678667459623183,0.0,0.06369923577245047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172177599603495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406816690527545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700516677105868,0.09938273846804636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912990422382536,0.0,0.10765939844780414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003940474217676,0.1153655858563454,0.08138391101978469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286874384472522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962673077062251,0.18080730131393605,0.09403379648394143,0.0,0.0,0.11441557894113767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558733510810743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21291525190015947,0.0,0.0,0.11525574013927195,0.0,0.11676761565647105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658059229886846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159757835823157,0.19391460574724045,0.0,0.0,0.0971560836598273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386154593907424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491008345423323,0.0,0.0,0.19599264106679995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812272271205374,0.11978778906490868,0.09679248400401036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650173776699828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530150002505456,0.0,0.10059845489764938,0.0,0.19355208683136027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302295614714156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nolan970,2019/02/12,"Tapering off medicine Scared but excited to watch how my mind recovers after a year of being overtired overwhelmed overmedicated. I’m ready to accept help go through what it takes and move on, and I’m looking forward to having better quality of life with more understanding of the way I am the way I am at this moment in my life.",14.20666666666667,8.08595482539683,13.177539682539685,56.69107142857146,56.3015873015873,16.40952380952381,50.54761904761904,13.023866798666859,6.265609523809526,266,12,47,6,2,88,49,63,0.027000000000000003,0.7140000000000001,0.258,0.9477,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,2,3,0,4,2,0,1,0,8,10,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,3,13,9,1,12,0,1,2,0,1,5,0,0,4,32,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554087457767261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412437936459948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356792384321414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079577764716916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425084537665944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915926742937155,0.0,0.0,0.30693501328143075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891262934284566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21713197948744875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30063758381106065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4584515589245847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859694415171431
mentalhealth,faultyproject,2019/02/12,"My grandmother hears voices and its tearing apart our family So all of this started about 2 years ago I live with with my grandparents mom and brother. It all started when my grandmother would say she would hear people talking next door. This happened for a couple of months. Keep in mind that no one ever heard anything at all. After a bit she started to say that they where talking about her. We still coundent hear anything. It got to the point after about 9 months where she would say that there where cameras and hidden microphones in the house. Things got worse and worse untel it got to the point where she would be screaming about how she could hear them in her head and she would run around the house becase they where apparently outside or where guna kidnap me and my brother. She would say other things like my grandfather was cheating on her. She would ask me if she raped me. The people she heard was our neighbors(who was almost completely bed bound) care takers. Her caretakers are the type of people who try to get all the money they can out of her and take her house. We stopped that from happening becase we got involved and pushed them away. Anyway continuing on she is now at the point where this is a daily thing. It use to be an on and off thing but for the past 2 weeks it's been nonstop. If she's ever on her off stage you can normally tell if she will start acting up the next day becase she will space out or ignore what your saying. Lately she's been saying this is some kind of ""game"" or some shit about how is either her or my grandfather who get to stay in the house. I found out that she is an occasional meth user but she stopped after her first major freakout. She has called the cops twice, the first time saying that someone was trying to break in and the secont time she said my grandfather was shot. My mom thinks taht someone is using some radio wave bs to say thaes things to her and that apparently she's seen people outside our house and she hears people behind our house. My grandfather thinks it's all mental. I'm only 14 and I have no idea what to do or what's going on and I need to figure this shit out. If anyone knows what's happening please help me and if you need anymore info just let me know. I'll update if theres anything new.",4.6144445991091345,5.845647567928733,4.5730560968819605,87.26722334354125,69.97995545657015,7.216063474387528,23.830804565701566,7.413659706084162,0.8886419265033405,1814,44,361,18,32,559,204,449,0.078,0.899,0.023,-0.9734,3,0,1,1,0,0,29.0,7,3,5,2,26,9,4,0,19,0,32,4,3,4,7,80,69,32,0,17,15,4,0,1,0,9,0,18,2,0,31,25,0,5,8,2,1,4,2,6,0,4,16,19,64,3,51,40,11,71,0,0,1,1,76,33,2,15,32,259,95,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052048944399045616,0.0,0.0587964432437526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058231337115750376,0.04105618647556613,0.0,0.14495689266467324,0.05227044483964724,0.05489232818459512,0.0,0.055166413040355335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410359223325145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599564683796644,0.0,0.059865741440806364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06156349967152513,0.0,0.0,0.046880626572625365,0.06496907727085023,0.0,0.037867510468683134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622550413383353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535302013775178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988904454968403,0.0,0.06437999489976112,0.0,0.0,0.061354260935543976,0.0,0.03337013875840993,0.0,0.18784491404789688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576934855958566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06026042750184187,0.0,0.3308907845531893,0.0,0.03935666658928205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065081657844745,0.0,0.0662841761596971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219023380137952,0.0,0.061144563266877186,0.06453848992453971,0.0,0.06623516387554293,0.0,0.0,0.060041956904992214,0.0,0.02868608681226948,0.0,0.05184805393997405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059172774047095776,0.0,0.05928727980442813,0.13753692919630686,0.0937344583197209,0.0,0.0,0.08707559996084395,0.0,0.05670909923220836,0.12489207135696727,0.0,0.05753004584108765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03978805689344838,0.04465681000391244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605187689389059,0.20353435186142646,0.0,0.0,0.06445346852256406,0.16651920550707358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585316999353257,0.3735519641940481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054400466264155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950119224659454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624035344537755,0.06258434914891779,0.046891351938768616,0.09817983086534272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04414776349763451,0.09438875910862644,0.05132111460092262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19504432909740035,0.0752467726833154,0.0,0.0,0.06847653438113338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972977320728716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142501132228024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04709911500391463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967497212783333,0.2919753570133682,0.0,0.0,0.03781172603531941
mentalhealth,Sever_Knight,2019/02/12,"A different perspective The other night I was having a conversation with my Mum, and we were asking each other questions like ""What's your most and least favourite physical thing about how you look?"" and so on, when she asked me ""What do you think is your best and worst quality?"". And I had to think for a bit. Plenty of answers for what my worst attribute was, and none for my best. So I told her ""I think my worst quality is that I'm inherently unlikable. There's just something about me that people don't like, and that's why I've never really made any friends. I'm like an olive; I'm an acquired taste but people don't want to try more than once"". 

I've always been different, I was put into testing for Asperger's when I was 2 (pulled out of testing during the autism-vaccine scare though because my parents didn't want me to be ""labelled"", so I haven't got any official diagnosis), and over the years it's become more apparent that there's more differences between me and your average person, enough that a doctor could probably diagnose me with more than just Asperger's. I've grown up feeling like no matter how much I try there's just something wrong with me and everyone can tell.

With this in mind my Mum was quiet for a couple of moments before she says ""I think your best quality is that you're a very loving person, and your worst quality is your nervousness. I don't think you being different is a bad quality at all, but rather a failing on other people's parts. People fear what they don't understand, and they don't understand you. You're not inherently unlikable, you just haven't met the right people yet who will take the time to get to know you"".

I wanted to share that because I really needed it to be said for me, for someone to tell me that there isn't a flaw in who I am and that I'm okay the way I am. Thought I should share because the sentiment is true of everybody; You might be different but different isn't wrong.",7.036317829457363,6.128767948320416,7.354432816537467,76.7994011627907,64.60723514211887,11.25421188630491,33.30348837209303,10.577609850970193,3.2760564341085283,1544,54,307,34,20,505,175,387,0.121,0.773,0.106,-0.8751,9,0,2,0,0,0,44.0,1,13,2,5,20,24,0,3,18,1,37,4,0,4,3,59,66,24,0,7,9,3,1,4,1,3,2,3,0,2,22,21,1,0,12,0,0,3,14,11,0,0,15,6,48,13,37,43,20,22,0,1,1,1,40,10,0,3,12,218,70,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863542015347178,0.0,0.0,0.11218736957165007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422758482143314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887282648754513,0.15084911172291904,0.09109991741128334,0.07018998138325534,0.0,0.259693645819994,0.0,0.09005395230518656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658588007680881,0.09126980223779524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372211520759107,0.0,0.5170853505906049,0.0,0.08442848249294899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523065953973058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881943650185552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282030501886952,0.04170767976040905,0.05892841011434555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372890641442358,0.0,0.04309581955957417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597203191394052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04533245244950971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119505342008367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926792995007097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444733478675089,0.07805077111458666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750519774289467,0.08328790449660288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060637107653900686,0.06116273404216376,0.06361871499133942,0.0,0.0,0.07740804242088001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784548712789217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159155574462126,0.08932489890010219,0.0,0.2859289499456226,0.14404815326432865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893445570158698,0.0,0.0,0.08292176894240158,0.09240381756035887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568599638549483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044306576581524,0.07846360135933272,0.06559661790215188,0.08258342968613143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989058887901213,0.12700435722095366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062019622456265286,0.0,0.1441937665428732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054800400720206234,0.2642702632672258,0.08104261974857667,0.06548510943303787,0.04809857253198019,0.0,0.0,0.07881943650185552,0.0,0.1120059101771838,0.0,0.0,0.1717428219292183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806004511150003,0.14595811875684628,0.06547398652678096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443128433407381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037219401792975,0.0,0.05311863585696471
mentalhealth,bigbellyflygirl,2019/02/12,"I'm at my lowest point I've ever been in life If there is a more appropriate sub to post this in please let me know.


Because I don't think I'm depressed, but I'm not doing too good.


Within four months:

-My mother died

-I was robbed, beaten and pistol whipped by two men. One still has not been captured.

-I came out as transgender. This is not bad in and of itself but the stress of being in the wrong body is constant.

-My best friend assaulted me.

-I was laid off.

-I lost my home.


I'm just down. I'm trying to stay strong, but the hits just keep coming. They just keep coming. I can't describe how I feel about myself. I'm hurt. I want to break down, but I can't. I swear to God I'm trying to be strong, but it's hard.






",-0.0548416289592808,1.931333153846154,1.7554901960784297,98.82088235294121,86.05128205128204,4.439819004524886,14.945701357466064,5.5289334501034215,-1.0291556561085975,556,9,134,3,17,182,99,156,0.204,0.638,0.158,-0.8549,1,0,0,1,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,5,9,13,2,1,4,0,15,2,1,1,1,26,33,10,1,2,12,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,4,6,0,2,3,0,0,3,6,8,0,3,6,2,18,5,20,23,2,21,0,3,0,0,4,11,0,1,4,85,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289135630245414,0.10432287676865963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959660418979442,0.0,0.0,0.19009344252696606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957339170413403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948369069751246,0.0,0.18493714719572005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739912894404486,0.0,0.17761208032066478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480224976574564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653147014767869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221919787009073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354070171393238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330418208893526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716632950910696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320455656352375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304226962220857,0.0,0.0,0.09405183358052477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499808704170394,0.12087837107640967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868150876849585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659906956228493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596613772062153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18785586406684185,0.1617787733864892,0.0,0.16390091816114402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240813498368985,0.1366693777331152,0.0,0.19603563386689826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965699616085696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232380130674656,0.0,0.1671749402194984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009404076864869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871102781525328,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,warmtortilla,2019/02/12,Feeling burnt out from my friends and isolating myself Title. I can't tell if they're bad friends or if I'm isolating myself from good friends because of problems. Either way I feel frustrated and burnt out.,5.48,7.402605717948718,5.213333333333335,80.84000000000002,68.74358974358975,8.276923076923078,36.07692307692308,8.841846274778883,3.3486,169,9,29,3,3,52,28,39,0.195,0.527,0.278,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,4,5,0,3,4,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,5,4,5,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,0,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579605758296105,0.18833322084565254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31242908520554885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7160826512018771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25913283369454865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956236897508631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700361590007237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452303488570037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Grapecultmeme,2019/02/12,"What is long term psychiatric hospitalization like? I’m 16 in the USA and I’m going to be going into a long term mental health facility soon but I’m scared because I have no idea what long term is like as I’ve only been in short term hospitals (14+ times)

I have a long history of self harm and I have psychotic depression and Dissociative Identity Disorder 

I also have abuse in my childhood (sexual)

Hopefully someone can shed some light on this for me",3.4487921348314607,5.653660887640456,5.4543679775280935,75.7723384831461,74.95505617977528,9.843258426966292,26.85533707865169,10.125756701596842,3.135886516853933,365,14,68,12,8,126,62,89,0.25,0.6679999999999999,0.083,-0.965,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,8,15,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,1,6,3,9,13,5,19,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,13,38,9,0,0.0,0.2264297464187401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282765988872093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649664256869753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459959858670578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21902440631653292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21722025827015928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203137088044962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18981170229861474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157357805562839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867297954987077,0.0,0.0,0.6764923391172319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925902279599089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534497253366396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19133077113335184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993655767998955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192376988953158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114356355498115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,osuprobry,2019/02/12,"Frequent nightmares (any advise?) So I have frequent nightmare for over 3 years now. I dream about 3 times a week and they are always unpleasant or bad dreams. They used to wake me up but don't really anymore. Sometimes but I think I just got used to having nightmares every so often. Today I had a pretty bad one, it messed up my whole day. This isn't the first time I had that by far. I wish I would know why I only have nightmares. I can't be that twisted right? Anyone who could know a reason? Ty",0.7826470588235317,3.1424771666666693,2.185784313725492,94.53102941176472,86.15686274509804,4.184313725490196,18.303921568627448,5.46131890053228,-0.39958431372548997,389,10,81,2,12,125,74,102,0.119,0.733,0.14800000000000002,0.457,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,1,6,3,0,0,4,0,12,1,1,3,0,15,19,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,3,0,2,3,0,14,0,8,13,1,15,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,10,55,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644644995541822,0.0,0.0,0.13441193739066973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19602029780018496,0.13820472443356654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300667473391485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781115181261576,0.0,0.0,0.12747089534056352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653256433235553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681249412209439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808247678877127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21725164904655286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393590371523365,0.15032526521541126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010858334750227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662262769397725,0.20322189579179772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879598802384732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19548549926515715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664911644195068,0.0,0.0,0.23050802757685224,0.0,0.18735349359704065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414203057755822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854663496461832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835257512529834,0.2206743540053384,0.22729308875847296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040818978450345,0.0,0.0,0.12728311189298727
mentalhealth,dead_flower_,2019/02/12,"Helping a friend with BPD? Advices please I have a friend who has BPD and today at school she had an outburst of anger. I didn't know what to do and many other times I didn't know what to do/ what to say when se had ""bad"" beahviours and intense emotions out of nowhere. She also has risky behaviours such as drinking too much and too often, and having sex with everyone, also strangers. I just want to help her and know what are the right things to do with her cause she's clearly not happy about her situation. I also don't know many things about this disorder to be honest, aside for some things I read on the internet. Does soneone have any advice or some informations about BPD? What to do and what to say to a friend with this illness?",3.995695732838591,5.384588891156465,4.070797773654917,89.67907235621523,71.65306122448979,6.978107606679036,25.608534322820034,7.348242739294969,1.023481632653061,585,18,122,6,11,180,85,147,0.09,0.747,0.163,0.863,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,12,7,1,0,6,0,16,3,0,1,1,26,21,13,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,13,12,1,0,5,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,2,12,5,23,16,3,7,0,0,0,1,15,4,0,4,3,91,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474459630157409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037527490156491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609994530340402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571504824669636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4783870537109186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006456035919814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510738341608584,0.0,0.11079829840699268,0.0,0.0,0.12403075677932107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242053812082955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209824100086541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934584549479023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477995734673318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972961261678918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27832877738552664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25672773185984343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307378668902827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898105698720936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664544457947668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081252574616645,0.0,0.20137258712912348,0.0,0.12813727542550055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231627313877587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523445298323514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382799828514411,0.0,0.12001259608528345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467855540562808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scarrillo3,2019/02/12,"Trying a new combination of meds for panic, GAD, social phobia, and insomnia; curious if anyone has experience with these medications individually or as a combo. I have been seeing psychiatrists for four years now and have previously been prescribed seroquel (regular and extended release), busparin, gabapentin, trazadone, lexapro (which I was on for the longest), and probably 2 or 3 others that I can’t think of right now. I am currently taking remeron - or mirtazapine - at 15mg and it was greatly helping my mood and with sleeping better, but has recently tapered off in the sleep department. So my doctor has suggested that I double the dose of remeron (as this can help with mood and anxiety even more) and add on prazosin; as I have night terrors and very high blood pressure as well. If this isn’t satisfactory, she has prescribed me with vistarol - or hydroxyzine - to add to the mix. I have been diagnosed with handfuls of different disorders but the labels that have stuck are: generalized and social anxiety disorders and panic disorder. I get 20-30 mg of Xanax a month for my anxiety. Also, without medication, because of these disorders, I don’t sleep at all at night and will usually get 3-4 hours during the day every few days. 
I’m wondering if anyone has words of encouragement, constructive criticism, advice, or stories on any of the topics I mentioned. ",12.039751037344393,9.71141133609959,11.68036929460581,54.24486929460582,55.97095435684647,15.283153526970954,48.16639004149378,13.662883650711644,6.767009626556016,1096,58,165,34,10,365,147,241,0.129,0.797,0.073,-0.9331,2,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,1,6,10,0,4,10,0,22,12,5,0,1,35,30,28,0,3,11,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,10,19,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,4,1,1,6,2,15,4,32,23,4,24,0,0,1,0,8,10,0,9,13,122,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674812425205643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735923808346405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428698813533173,0.0,0.2507050451926213,0.0,0.0,0.15276638256321756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659172784228537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661395750569418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409016055209673,0.0,0.0,0.1108763634059366,0.0,0.1141326141880445,0.5007943004931791,0.1118118323156173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215203065817424,0.0,0.09203946368801327,0.0,0.0,0.10685774212303764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414684731545735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043755396412598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464426217025642,0.11541812315817655,0.0,0.0,0.1075794562975484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134108243036598,0.2200957395781294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719437524688538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550473256057022,0.0,0.2050287960527173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563393512517939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177792630445182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786138236795692,0.0,0.0,0.09329041603777644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705018602501421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279568614841521,0.2227129724892258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213493150178272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999662078471403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741668313660338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031249493116122,0.0901344916632362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821993490764826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530352149042507,0.11846618732845862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034701832724867
mentalhealth,hercules367,2019/02/12,If you go to mental health You’re weak. Suck it up like a man,-4.171999999999997,-3.294726866666668,-1.0533333333333308,111.52000000000002,117.66666666666669,2.0,5.0,3.1291,-3.091,47,0,14,0,3,16,14,15,0.317,0.546,0.13699999999999998,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34541454232585017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6460401516435875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296929887499569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.61249780270924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StephanieAnneAllen,2019/02/12,"DO U WANT BETTER MENTAL HEALTH? Read these...
MY MENTAL MADNESS MEMOIR
HOW TO SURVIVE DEPRESSION
HOW TO SURVIVE BIPOLAR DISORDER
HOW TO SURVIVE SCHIZOPHRENIA
HOW TO SURVIVE ANXIETY
HOW TO SURVIVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
HOW TO SURVIVE PTSD
HOW TO SURVIVE SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER

Www.Amazon.com/author/allenstephanie
",7.539943181818181,10.86043022916667,7.007651515151519,52.59340909090912,100.875,10.078787878787876,46.03030303030303,8.575989854853784,7.723141666666668,273,20,23,10,11,85,27,48,0.333,0.5760000000000001,0.091,-0.9445,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,8,7,3,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,7,0,8,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,7,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,17,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091697573172525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18603725158396567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811739232661641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7232370793876343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235919377566601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4239661272787543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366927983891468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458875900832212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104066641294824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406972692212613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ax_colleen,2019/02/12,"I want to try a schizophrenia study that can help me in the long run. How do I approach this to my doctor? I live in the US, California

I am diagnosed with schizoaffective and I checked a [research study](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/12/171213130504.htm) about the possibility of having a immune disorder causing the illness. How can I approach this to my doctor? 

I also had a bad greenish infection scab in my scalp when I was in highschool that covered a large spot in my head but my scars healed. I was thinking of the possibility that I want a head scan for it.

It’s either one of those. All this time I have a gut feeling that my illness isn’t permanent, and that it can be fixed. I know it may be wrong but I can’t ignore the gut feeling. Thank you for respecting my decision to look for more treatment options since I feel there’s something wrong with my current treatment.",5.997727272727271,7.704925454545452,5.6488636363636395,79.05329545454545,67.18181818181819,8.40909090909091,32.53787878787879,8.841846274778883,2.7313333333333336,720,31,128,12,12,222,94,165,0.132,0.763,0.105,-0.8079,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,1,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,13,0,15,14,5,3,1,22,24,8,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,1,9,0,0,0,13,4,0,1,6,0,1,3,2,4,0,1,3,5,25,2,18,18,3,12,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,2,4,97,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525379918493802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121711114767296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737438688364983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166415046036662,0.0,0.0,0.19383849160621047,0.34622497737601143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565527661117122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3471538862007709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336477619545343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294983671559767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493455503336666,0.14967539097918212,0.14202723282305435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460737292741405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3813390151588144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990670364746272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020511386412714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571287060896505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837215501118258,0.0,0.0,0.09862150008496272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148286768043997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344346700078605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995153960381188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698358477444784,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dm-me-vag-and-bobs,2019/02/12,"My search for approval has left my confidence at an all time low and I don't know what to do As a background, my childhood has definitely not helped my situation. I have had parents who were very demanding of success from me from a young age. This made me afraid of failure and disappointing people. From the ages of 11 to 16 I have received consistent bullying that has ranged from verbal to physical abuse over the way i look. I have always been nerdy, but during my youth I also had glasses and braces which really didn't help me out. I was always called repulsive and useless which didn't effect me so much at the time, but has since created deep insecurities within me.

At the time of writing this, I am 18 and have almost no confidence. It is now engrained in my head that I am repulsive and almost useless. The only way my confidence is ever raised is through compliments, as if someone calls me something positive (which is extremely rare) it assures me momentarily that my insecurities of being ugly and good for nothing are false. However, my lack of social presence and growing loneliness has meant that most of my interactions with people are negative for me. I struggle to make new friends as the bullying has made me presume people don't want to hang out with me, as if I am almost a burden on them by simply being present. The lack of good friends, girlfriends and supportive parents means no one in my life supports me and assures me in a way that comforts me and my mind. I now spend almost all evenings playing games consoles i dont enjoy, as i just need something I can embrace that takes my mind off of my constant feelings of stress and insecurity. 

As I continue to get older, the stress in my life to succeed during exams and other stressful experiences increase, I fear I will reach an even lower low, and I honestly don't want to know what that looks and feels like. I haven't opened up about this before, and I suppose me doing this here and now is a final search for relief. I expect no one to read this, but if anyone does find the time to embrace my problems, any advice for how I can rebuild my confidence will be appreciated extremely. Thanks for taking the time.",9.919520383693047,7.597680916067147,9.631091127098324,67.27479016786573,59.983213429256594,12.432134292565944,41.15227817745804,10.864195022040775,4.431560191846521,1750,75,310,33,18,572,208,417,0.199,0.603,0.198,0.5448,4,1,2,0,1,0,34.0,0,0,1,4,12,34,0,9,17,0,41,3,1,5,5,63,61,32,0,10,8,2,2,1,3,2,2,1,0,0,21,22,0,0,9,3,1,4,12,16,0,2,10,5,55,18,55,46,7,46,0,5,2,0,16,19,0,8,21,236,76,4,0.0,0.10605865315096508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747138549299957,0.0,0.0,0.3585386604519538,0.0,0.0,0.07158377390060984,0.1489645148219869,0.0,0.0,0.0608721307454197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258979833690534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761692468607409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828062266381983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673210445583266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833371418801395,0.0,0.10490895058890276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182454142782242,0.08096992746671154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756120840198932,0.0,0.10072737714613762,0.09052125369040767,0.06394833747856445,0.0,0.0980574724872849,0.08181355765183611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831554615580244,0.0,0.04676701794199718,0.0,0.0,0.1501590606581711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186649635081527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999779017478833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838836521627127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725648984883106,0.0,0.12645181776314074,0.043731689247939305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033729748667915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939934547742747,0.05975083971883821,0.0,0.0,0.0975062529801398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807658823408376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658025936293114,0.06637299648930818,0.0,0.08645252736573195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858904498112521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213130916901074,0.06807891751411954,0.0,0.0,0.19878790911136174,0.0,0.0,0.18617180694881505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565216327163186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953754887517823,0.0,0.057344528305649026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404634769176141,0.10061672809636413,0.0,0.09124756246253944,0.0758443500433527,0.13782346207973706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076116350850202,0.09357876302816737,0.0,0.0,0.2031573215347545,0.0,0.0,0.1346057611067606,0.0,0.0,0.08241184343994645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609796991420526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385786796472545,0.10559455694220372,0.2131545333578734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leminyfresh,2019/02/12,"Should I talk to someone? A little about me. I'm going on 30. I work in an office.  I am an emotional guy (internally). Introverted. I'm either very quiet or very excited. I grew up in one of those ""men don't talk about their feelings"" environments.

About 4 years ago I got sober. I carried a lot of shame and guilt around for a number of reasons, some real, some not so much. I spent about a decade numbing those feelings with drugs and alcohol. Then I went to treatment, sobered up, and got into the St. Paul, MN sober community where I remained for about 3 years. I'm out on my own now. I don't really do meetings anymore, and I don't feel drawn towards the same bad habits I used to have. Being sober was the healthiest choice I made in a long time, but it was a bit of a double edged sword because now I have to feel again. Not that that is a bad thing. The hard part is dealing with those feelings sometimes.

I am not a psychiatrist or a doctor, but I do believe I suffer from some sort of depression. I used to have a lot of people around me to talk to about these things (when I was closer to the sober community), but now I am out on my own trying to build a life out of the rubble of my previous one. On the surface, everything looks okay. I have a full time job, health insurance, a car, I pay my bills, I cook my own food, I rent my own place, I exercise. But I am constantly nagged by this deep sadness. It isn't all day every day, but when it hits me it is like a truck. I just don't want to do anything or talk to anyone. I feel like a sad vegetable rooted to my couch playing video games or watching Netflix. I feel it in my chest. My mind runs all over the place. I feel like my life is slipping out of my grasp. I stress over nothing. I know its all in my head but I can't stop it when it gets into full swing.

 I see a lot of people talking online about mental health these days saying ""just talk to someone"". So here I am I guess.

I am debating on seeking therapy, but I don't want to just be prescribed medication. Half of my addiction was because I abused prescriptions. So that is just not a valid option in my mind. Are there holistic options that work? Is there anyone who has had a similar experience with any advice?",2.023456521739132,3.726959432608698,3.645,89.41250000000002,77.5,6.686956521739131,23.67391304347826,7.554174236665415,0.9563434782608696,1729,56,377,24,40,575,217,460,0.112,0.84,0.048,-0.9827,2,0,2,0,1,0,64.0,0,0,1,2,27,17,1,3,29,1,36,16,2,5,3,71,63,22,0,3,20,0,9,3,0,1,11,2,2,2,21,15,4,1,11,6,4,5,11,11,0,3,10,14,57,6,63,49,21,57,0,4,3,0,14,33,0,14,22,267,78,5,0.0,0.09810176853023844,0.0,0.09026174495579403,0.0,0.08090898156550293,0.07339519016908277,0.0884855908665021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056305294315112976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211309779202428,0.11578819316254005,0.0,0.0681354753446136,0.14741506416790293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826528888239092,0.10094545301207317,0.0,0.0,0.09328468615034996,0.0,0.0,0.09039367458462996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947492956808863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019305468160616,0.08536082196234394,0.07131356182708135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474698307830085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601907797528132,0.0,0.0,0.09313629976363108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976065690155472,0.0,0.07441325912456269,0.08099206565119163,0.0,0.0,0.3349201526805381,0.1183014268960404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001193413896129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043258395545197136,0.0,0.04705585691353783,0.0,0.13244181364313318,0.0,0.09121103212285572,0.08198276818943034,0.0,0.0,0.0741705011832169,0.0,0.0849743561033489,0.1760202261980205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216396917022542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04550346597734151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696496785387138,0.12135236292123194,0.08298507522914747,0.0,0.07327338381352537,0.06952923840408769,0.0,0.0,0.21117500248763946,0.0,0.07834521222679351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341000022691053,0.08344063562023737,0.0,0.16720420466138833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060865856930348065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944665311134816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221176666962243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966187087621884,0.0,0.11480303881885692,0.0,0.17301200638540035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942419412270653,0.05304234473267301,0.08512985435642323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584407658649674,0.0,0.0,0.06597906938150057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030849254117012,0.0,0.08188907015356749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922260806947644,0.09484451771343352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3992980648073476,0.0,0.0,0.09468641789524557,0.0,0.11001426285039012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965600421113473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056214222346399605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302130580839653,0.0,0.13663359380773876,0.09767249041388462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675432339825755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055546424326825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066380444416626
mentalhealth,DJJAZZYJAZZ,2019/02/12,"I need help getting help. I’ve done all the things within my power to “get better”. Dealing with anxiety and depression but have not had them formally diagnosed. Just over a year ago I quit drinking, which is the only drug I used, got in touch with a therapist who i see every couple weeks, have used all the mental exercises that I feel help, have strengthened all the positive relationships in my life along with becoming involved in the healthiest romantic relationship thus far. Plus, I’ve always maintained pretty good diet and exercise habits. With all of this, I still find myself constantly fighting intrusive thoughts that sometimes become suicidal ideations, exhaustion, a little bit of paranoia, time being distorted, ruminating and huge amounts of anxiety that have only gotten worse and even had my first panic attack in almost 10 years last week. 

Since I have done all of that work and still feel this way, it’s probably time to seek some sort of help that may include medication. The problem is that I deal with doctors so little and especially when it comes to psychiatrists (or whichever is a medical doctor) that it’s intimidating. I’ve tried a couple of times but, thanks to anxiety, I get overwhelmed and feels as if the paths I’m led down are a little over complicated and being taken advantage of, thanks paranoia. 

I guess I just want to hear it from people who have been down the road. 

What is the process you’ve gone through to be formally diagnosed? ",10.726685534591187,9.218877615094343,9.854198113207547,63.7456996855346,57.75471698113208,13.512578616352195,41.32861635220125,12.311054993355176,5.19548427672956,1188,51,193,31,12,378,159,265,0.158,0.6829999999999999,0.159,-0.1303,1,0,2,0,2,0,27.0,0,0,1,6,7,12,2,2,15,0,20,13,0,4,5,45,42,16,1,4,7,0,4,0,0,1,11,1,0,0,18,16,2,0,5,3,0,3,1,7,0,1,10,6,16,5,32,28,8,33,0,2,1,0,14,15,0,7,14,128,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267092377505847,0.0,0.09338818171570737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760125595299434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21403497501902327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609871651034844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20600057499530156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248244850969137,0.10181768810895872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033674888935277,0.0,0.10078283147794208,0.0,0.0,0.20638472871287766,0.0,0.0,0.19229756035969575,0.08032621784006258,0.1893174479480978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091472784775634,0.0,0.19087832199213434,0.0,0.09136102037078732,0.1081540337719528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061598513375065674,0.0,0.0785770557433043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414678452491112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085239559707922,0.07932840601549035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617626219823227,0.0,0.0,0.07822354010766093,0.07458994966222042,0.0,0.1027383438438095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511278237630343,0.0,0.2500455693162981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602078245846343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587353966604216,0.0,0.2804183549193771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790282455705787,0.09398591939351436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915241384955359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418595431087516,0.0,0.10942258182202938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465596212418266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488073884829833,0.10055195181303184,0.08923890972172015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991953623300675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20025645752169569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743175486434671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771470921981572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223826603732604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489579251451817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201322921834563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172579829454665,0.0,0.10828409233164588,0.06195896977255225,0.0,0.0,0.07403942056244507,0.16314504798026172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633186136580245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109643484071154,0.0,0.0,0.055008202794518984,0.07402684467242428,0.1496179179546525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678956725376829,0.0,0.0950417017366424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011503237812456
mentalhealth,sublime_warthog,2019/02/12,"YT channels or podcasts about mental health (by professionals) Can you recommend any Youtube channels or podcasts od mental health professionals? I mean the intellectually honest serious people.

I can recomment dr. Grande's YT channel:
https://www.youtube.com/user/RioGrande51

and David Puder's podcast:
https://psychiatrypodcast.com/",15.381511627906981,20.691477790697675,10.830406976744184,36.560959302325614,50.16279069767442,10.811627906976746,45.63372093023256,10.686352973137794,6.771702325581392,287,15,24,7,4,81,33,43,0.029,0.787,0.184,0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,3,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,11,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077811820957643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6495604208638639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328282459944371,0.0,0.0,0.6158352998553211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21182653784268868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Noxlygos,2019/02/12,"What Classifies An Abuser and An Abuse Victim?  Because of the situation outlined [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaybros/comments/apm6fs/elongated_sigh_rant/), I am questioning whether my mother is an abuser and if I am a victim. Whilst I recognise that I have been on the receiving end of emotional abuse numerous times throughout my relationship with my mother, the other day was a collection of several emotional abuse tactics. Throughout my relationship the abuse has not been something that is constant but rather something that happens when I talk about the things she’s (or in this case, her mother) said/done that have hurt me. Or it also occurs when I talk about my feelings/pain (regardless of who caused it). 

The tactics she uses include: deflection/trying to turn it back on me, saying she cannot remember the event in question or flat out denying it happened; frequently dismissing, devaluing and undermining my feelings or saying that I’m oversensitive; calling me ‘stupid child’ or saying something I’ve done is stupid (usually when she’s angry because of a mistake I’ve made or something I’ve done). 

And even though it seems like I’ve answered my question whilst writing this, accusing someone of abuse is a very serious accusation. Thus I want to be completely sure this is abuse. 

Is she an abuser? Am I an abuse victim? Can someone use occasionally use abusive tactics but not be an abuser? Can someone be a victim of abuse without being an abuse victim? What advice do you have for me (other than talking to her since that’s clearly a dead end)?",9.402666666666667,9.632658963636363,8.680727272727276,65.47975757575762,59.36363636363636,11.26060606060606,41.24242424242424,10.793553405168565,4.825969696969698,1265,63,188,27,15,399,137,275,0.328,0.629,0.043,-0.9985,0,0,4,0,13,0,48.0,0,1,0,0,10,12,7,0,20,0,26,0,0,6,2,39,37,19,1,5,14,3,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,20,6,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,10,0,0,6,4,27,2,21,27,0,20,0,1,0,0,27,5,0,11,15,138,47,1,0.0,0.865889765309354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05100989958021991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174486430805999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040139100160136325,0.0,0.06364209907965429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330272986358321,0.0,0.0,0.05362447689191925,0.0,0.0,0.05473141899667148,0.0564103895995824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03366511963875488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683883704981516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743747619341448,0.09246861560276093,0.0,0.0,0.03447805630468972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026394231865647357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232177646756408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05588190673899548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02550261510593422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04939354483215603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555452031055121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17543012221990614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208798783455004,0.059133193635502714,0.0,0.04965479976802333,0.12453622587908905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04752153783626418,0.0,0.0589719091795126,0.0,0.043180941272973,0.0586757505595539,0.0,0.0,0.13268839830191415,0.16074653261433205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04919852238977968,0.0,0.0,0.12587078587751802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034679811757654236,0.0,0.051286902290688455,0.0,0.030438635836578864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035440834643908105,0.056779349182736874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525387984049486,0.05749167329810035,0.04307102724914882,0.030789313073534774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05031959197696754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Annakcr,2019/02/12,"Crying when problems are asked Whenever I or someone else addresses the fact that I can't look someone in the eye or look teary I almost immediately start to cry. With is wrong with me

P.s I'm new to this Reddit thing so please tell me if I'm doing anything wrong ",2.4611111111111086,4.543492518518518,3.9182962962962975,86.20633333333332,77.51851851851852,6.542222222222222,23.76296296296297,7.554174236665415,1.083167407407407,212,7,43,3,5,70,41,54,0.251,0.6990000000000001,0.05,-0.9024,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,0,1,8,10,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,5,10,0,4,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,4,3,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073964872852405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704385996150726,0.0,0.19362525037776468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550138112800479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301861715256994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478501020491394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000336640961668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273508774929163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981817834486924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509769743568597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659758076986887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810282783206546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375984889154172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4528970776316649,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NatureLovingArtFreak,2019/02/12,"Why do I have extreme emotions (crying, sadness) every single morning? It is as though I am so emotional I'll cry at a dish soap commercial.

I have years of therapy behind me, but this is just something that I have become more cognizant of this past year. 

What would cause this to happen like clockwork, everyday, about an hour after I wake up, and lasting for about an hour before I come down and am 'normal'?",5.75346153846154,6.500423833333336,6.076051282051285,79.2856153846154,67.07692307692308,8.291282051282051,30.98461538461539,8.238735603445708,2.3313969230769223,321,12,57,4,5,103,61,78,0.029,0.901,0.07,0.4563,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,9,2,1,1,0,8,11,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,1,12,10,2,12,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,9,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101553434193864,0.1619189134453746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954755865841481,0.0,0.16391407696239693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4180392909932733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42809106729633983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032370914493824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682688061075256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747857010528185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510804904241876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296386531303333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186439351872002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18164900525496666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649104557926926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21760800997094834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18695450082547932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170303294299025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517333304045218,0.0,0.0,0.2450751982593371
mentalhealth,NValtere,2019/02/12,"Help with an art project. Terminal illness? Hi. I am a final year Fine Art student at university. My dissertation is concerning artists, who were terminally ill, and used art to cope with what was happening to them. This has started taking over my practice, as I want to bring in the idea in my art work. Instead of reading information from books or having a secondarily story from another point of view, I would like to hear personal stories, which have not been used anywhere else. I usually make portraits of people who happen to be sharing a journey together, e.g., a bus ride to the university. I take notes of conversations I overhear, which later are recorded and displayed over the portraits via projector. Most of the conversations are silly, but some – shocking, in many different ways, however, due to the fact that I travel within 10 miles, I don’t want to include private information, which might be identified by people who will see my work.  

​

**I would like if you could tell a story, which relates or doesn't relates to the illness. That is your decision.**  

​

I have seen many questions, which have been answered before by many people, however, I would like people to know what I am doing, before using their answers in my work.  

​

All the answers will be anonymous, and names won't appear anywhere.",6.765398361876392,8.573445400843884,6.775328865723505,71.31761727475802,65.45569620253164,9.289550757011666,36.72598659717053,9.627879704456738,3.9169773641102017,1068,54,166,22,17,340,142,237,0.047,0.88,0.073,0.29600000000000004,3,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,2,2,3,1,7,0,0,13,0,29,3,0,4,2,36,46,8,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,7,3,1,0,1,13,5,0,0,9,8,0,5,4,1,0,0,5,4,21,6,30,30,3,22,0,0,3,0,20,10,0,8,9,118,34,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32570780682719463,0.36527068610939534,0.0,0.10507096327940392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705297406345443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000347052495052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469019104101357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370625553222888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976684186669007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772173197795162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293539811362785,0.0,0.06716356298178207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131163237643132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506862379925714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686150774070494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688588649549497,0.3047685478467837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062989217349345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778709366392096,0.08749287907957475,0.0,0.0,0.09472366535733984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122496311558284,0.0,0.10022952579964928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984834720511584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092378125706765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067948335775389,0.0,0.08758132259435343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596281288362612,0.11035879768960588,0.0,0.11820395467934433,0.07953600870583229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21884564279113847,0.0,0.0,0.21354275050646032,0.0,0.36527068610939534,0.06452706652027952
mentalhealth,magnificentgoddess,2019/02/12,"How Do I Destress? I am a college freshman, and I have no diagnosed mental health issues, and the only thing I have dealt with in the past is some minor anger issues. I have a very low-stress high school experience, because my future was pretty planned out - I had good grades, and knew I could go to any college I wanted to. Now that I'm in undergrad, I have fairly average grades (approx. 3.6 GPA), and I'm worried about what type of grad school I should go to, and what my career will be. I have a lot of worries that my career will not be fruitful i.e. I won't make enough money to support myself, and that I won't be able to find a job I enjoy.",7.381592039800992,4.9018939253731375,7.825970149253732,78.73233830845774,64.97014925373135,10.127363184079602,32.78109452736318,7.793537801064563,2.205103482587064,502,14,106,4,6,167,83,134,0.087,0.818,0.095,0.2732,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,6,0,19,3,0,2,0,18,27,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,6,8,1,0,2,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,3,1,18,3,12,15,3,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,3,74,24,13,0.17421882996093313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847477859167535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620218170346793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390995594085883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682844513278662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800146229784452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041944567425546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923285434406914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19802515188262051,0.1461264888148291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18518646940870045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407175913123489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36367839001235386,0.17288530632976168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481146191084688,0.0,0.0,0.11629242183030848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755716038945004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325012707864368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663115864692246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724318287022578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526375140397797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995670810962658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19770146365312585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157432492953677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374878038966052,0.10275877976519636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35385535721716194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kawaii_panda_69,2019/02/12,"Venting about my my shitty week Ive been doing really well with my depression in the past few months but I have been slipping back into the bullshit the past week or so. Last night i relapsed after being clean for 5 months. Im getting back to the mentality that I am a nothing, I was confident for half a year and im just reverting back to the sense of worthlessness and because of that ive been distancing myself from people. So much of this is just because I obsese over anybody I ever have a crush on and that leads to me inevitably getting rejected and then feeling like shit. Which basicly happened a week or so ago. I hate that i do this bullshit to myself childhood trama doesn't help either. Today at school I really just shut down because i was so overtaken by my depression and i hate that I do that to my friends because then they then storms so much time comforting me and I don't think they should waste their time on me anymore. ",4.753430686960102,5.8503885882352975,5.4167914438502685,81.84744960921431,69.53475935828878,8.32069107363225,30.427396133278485,8.617729084823388,2.351979350061704,754,30,143,12,13,244,103,187,0.244,0.6709999999999999,0.085,-0.9898,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,3,1,14,11,3,0,9,0,18,1,1,1,1,20,25,17,0,1,7,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,7,1,1,5,1,28,4,22,18,4,32,0,4,0,0,5,8,1,2,24,114,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119492259883666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368559436406546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109591407800266,0.0,0.32869184690726944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322064604898613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193451464566316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815904051781832,0.09630130267872043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414631404598536,0.0,0.14085510046990898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920338759923475,0.0,0.0,0.26617461501360795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035374466360006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29121473456270697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988016922132096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585657749631442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358469144016428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151924958885453,0.0,0.1981873410943728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650087298258314,0.0,0.12934444475991902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573641221009984,0.09345349823588367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271294282456856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642501726348535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837048665323484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637453670478984,0.0,0.0,0.15720618230930372,0.0,0.1277748448950723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243858115847764,0.0,0.12120158484387032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680692079790217
mentalhealth,tahhh876,2019/02/12,"Why do I always get bored of people really quickly? I can’t ever seem to stay interested in someone romantically or platonically long enough before  I get tired of them, it’s rare for me to find someone I don’t get bored of. I’m not sure it has to do with my depression maybe? I don’t know but I wish this didn’t happen to me all the time. ",1.0112720156555781,2.8678159589041097,3.9949510763209415,84.99520547945207,81.1917808219178,6.911154598825831,20.01761252446184,7.957251820313856,0.7500270058708423,267,7,60,5,7,96,50,73,0.133,0.762,0.105,0.1972,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,3,11,15,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,10,2,10,14,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,4,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321326469151694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187362962288394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18964678380610628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275120826996985,0.0,0.0,0.19917179297014656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20124697497699812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451159377364165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471068142804426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100904447260842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19485861065978136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212074872077056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264997656375545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105746265314392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20045002097329606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731275464214882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346900988326668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075236891294548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839283974485968,0.2530726235308941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986845650181168,0.0,0.2532042413173757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lidlrt,2019/02/12,"How to deal with a friend who’s mentally unstable Hi, I’m a 19 y/o guy from Canada and I‘m just really clueless how to deal with a good friend of mine (M/21) who clearly suffers from a mental illness. I don’t know what exactly he has and how to deal with it but I really worried and want to help but I absolutely don’t know how.

Generally, he often feels anxious and unhappy, lacks motivation, he‘s extremely self-critical and he often says that he feels worthless eventhough we (his group of friends) are always supportive in everything he does (maybe that’s not the way to go idk). He also often says that he wants to kill himself, at first it was clearly just a joke but now I think he really wants to kill himself. But most notable are his extreme mood swings and lately the desire to isolate himself. 

He often makes plans with us just to cancle everything just hours before. Then we always try to talk him into doing the planned activity because we know that he actually really wants this and most of the time it works. 

Now what really made me worried was that he wrote us that he doesn’t want to anything anymore for the next couple of months and that we shouldn’t invite him to anything because he isolate himself. 

I don’t know why but I guess this is a way to punish himself for some reason. He just likes to do that and often said he doesn’t want to have fun with us because he didn’t deserve it. I’m just so speechless. I can’t understand from where this self-hatred comes from. I know that he lost someone dear when he was a child and he once said that he felt guilty about his death but afaik it wasn’t his fault at all, so why does he hate himself so much?

When I ask him about how he feels he just says that he is anxious about his future but this just doesn’t make sense. Like, I believe him when he says that but I just think there is an underlying problem about which he isn’t 100% honest with me. 

I don’t know what to do. I want him to feel better because I want to help him and because he drags me down too with his mood especially because I’m also mentally ill however I can deal with it somewhat ok but he just seems like he’s about to do something stupid. I don’t know how to talk to him eventhough I know where he’s coming from.

Sorry if I made any mistakes or if I rambled too much.",3.200159861989647,4.688810604255323,4.227032777458309,87.3817567567568,73.80851063829786,7.123634272570444,25.681426106958018,7.730073105063049,1.2834450833812538,1824,61,379,24,37,592,192,470,0.166,0.7,0.134,-0.9724,1,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,7,0,0,7,41,27,5,0,13,1,28,2,0,12,4,107,72,38,3,15,23,0,5,3,3,1,2,6,0,2,28,26,0,0,19,1,0,3,14,11,0,1,12,11,49,14,51,59,8,26,0,3,0,0,82,8,0,14,16,239,77,2,0.0,0.0,0.06664896648717808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923572365056483,0.11365876432715155,0.0,0.0,0.04644496154505672,0.0,0.0,0.1543145314053799,0.06773323389364468,0.0,0.0,0.1124068196686555,0.0,0.06384938227510205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24980285106345565,0.0,0.05811654197153654,0.07694842401050675,0.0,0.060404004169520686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766530704548693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557040460694675,0.0,0.0,0.2816488319061221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953602736068272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276362287142838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813402275154155,0.0,0.06557676162186621,0.0,0.0,0.05809421827672945,0.0,0.0,0.1583005262906738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03881531020134177,0.05728509674712975,0.0,0.0,0.0752379137869793,0.06762572795740393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743010546884201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915573790815461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725974273819486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112316893800198,0.0,0.30027822473058785,0.0,0.07704308485735553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010081463628126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455530204376619,0.0,0.0,0.12925038092327504,0.09117885045399374,0.0,0.06861449059999783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20648486930847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451478794522208,0.0,0.10041373263111296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263566577449537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273510890111368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535193331804298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21876714182341067,0.07022168803154799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299340188377774,0.21725314766421708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062175906672305825,0.14249935560490845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05786864823092123,0.052579113938619824,0.0,0.07645398562618375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750372683470076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979064219197253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752516267606639,0.0,0.0,0.039825095465728086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0463698383415254,0.0,0.0,0.07110059528624303,0.24646214531937685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222712973238236,0.10842349893927287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232565894661575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049721735486268175,0.13871980731954867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aithghen,2019/02/12,"How to find a Primary Care Provider (NYC) All,

How does one go about finding a Primary Care Doctor when you have an extreme anxiety of doctors.  Are there good resources to find physicians that are used to dealing with patients with anxiety and PTSD?  I have been trying to find this out and I have just had absolutely no luck what so ever.

​

Thank you all",3.5139075630252137,6.229281735294119,3.816218487394959,85.00441176470592,77.23529411764707,6.8268907563025225,30.302521008403357,7.957251820313856,2.3417285714285714,290,14,52,5,7,90,50,68,0.076,0.725,0.199,0.8872,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,3,3,17,12,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,4,5,9,10,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,39,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812495803432992,0.2032654949660517,0.0,0.0,0.2559399839889328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34110954881094685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246001914592593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.342439681067989,0.14638928503792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131581483516354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6115695309590472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507000750082567,0.1403078978162305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133543643521744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19554327808737695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401045341568567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357324870196465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447762199895586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032654949660517,0.0
mentalhealth,unicorns_and_cats716,2019/02/12,"Intrusive suicidal thoughts Lately I’ve had the most disturbing thoughts and they enter into my head at the most random times. I work on the 4th floor of an open concept building and so there are stairwells everywhere with only a short guardrail. I walk by and am drawn over to the rail and then just look over it and contemplate jumping. Or I’m putting knives away after cleaning and hold one for a few minutes, thinking that I should stab myself or slit my wrists. I don’t feel overly suicidal but when thoughts like these happen, I sort of feel like it’s an out-of-body experience. Like it’s not me at all and following through on these things would be okay. 

Does anyone have thoughts like these? I haven’t dealt with stuff like this in years (I was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder in 2013) but have been under major stress/huge life changes the past few months (mentally ill brother threatening to kill me, 7 yr relationship ending, etc) and so I am so anxious and sad lately. My anxiety makes it feel like my heart will literally explode out of my chest. I’m not on any prescription meds except for the birth control pill. I feel like I am going insane. ",5.592583333333334,7.051912555555552,5.417930555555557,81.26556250000002,67.8888888888889,9.002777777777778,30.95138888888889,9.354420925462401,2.7283388888888886,955,38,177,19,16,296,144,225,0.194,0.7070000000000001,0.098,-0.9791,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,1,2,6,12,1,1,10,1,15,8,4,2,1,44,31,19,3,2,8,1,4,7,0,3,4,0,1,0,11,16,0,2,9,0,0,6,4,4,0,1,7,5,19,8,28,20,8,34,0,2,1,0,3,17,0,6,18,113,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855684862740903,0.0,0.17674336407739866,0.1305035345207667,0.0,0.08077353714026672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853385799147074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831551371288688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220373387764535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956432736758985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994963040274477,0.1172493045561385,0.0,0.0,0.13239472700671026,0.0,0.10109141330416736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231550357025558,0.0,0.12883416746004922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299970133845963,0.0,0.0,0.2336394122118262,0.2475802870259828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565208251824395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215302768626457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855577190066476,0.0,0.0,0.1368905142414804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278046047561055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606208188613332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159445205084441,0.39505707378426697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700682543138556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710979743396837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831551371288688,0.0,0.11641593319998665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220612531702944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827863148309326,0.08785736842761935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027591086095627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161284532402718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402412261405422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232656914030128,0.0,0.13224156229502754,0.2527179678580101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674565863404405,0.07401987994718126,0.0,0.36683657696742666,0.06736002985034863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409917283056867,0.0,0.0,0.08206134905183958,0.0,0.0,0.07439041760659161
mentalhealth,FlameTechie,2019/02/12,"Why am I like this? I don't know what my problem is. My life is amazing, I have lots of great friends, I have an amazing, loving family with two of the best parents it the world who do a lot for me, yet I'm still depressed, despite taking lots of medications, having been to two mental hospitals, and currently seeing a therapist, and I'm even having suicidal thoughts today.

The funniest part is that when I see other people talking about their lives sucking or wishing they were dead, I wish I were them. Why am I such an ungrateful, attention-hungry piece of shit?",8.785321100917429,6.954764779816518,8.825761467889908,70.61442201834863,61.752293577981646,12.022752293577984,39.23119266055046,10.793553405168565,4.198492110091744,447,19,81,9,5,147,79,109,0.159,0.588,0.253,0.9111,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,1,6,11,2,0,7,0,14,4,1,0,0,12,25,4,2,3,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,4,2,14,7,8,21,6,6,0,1,2,1,8,1,2,4,6,65,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225808019088622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331689972210993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212123111287247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575652202708927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945455933068767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704627183856835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849719293082038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920859286811793,0.07553669581024193,0.0,0.13652718491884774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943424307936162,0.13954536599866652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575755583997788,0.15581476353658266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168078891448854,0.1674321283026907,0.0,0.10719002925777583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479449230935734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464150235104129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870927030827672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347511219323185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912285681547098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625064805273425,0.12427304970793344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951902104383927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274641650331147,0.0,0.0,0.1465561976946048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30207124436914473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27903056150769273,0.0,0.35559743467981203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tinypeep123,2019/02/12,"Im not well but this post isn't for me The love of my life and my best friend has gone through a rather painful experience about 2 years ago. She finds it very painful to recount and hence I don't want to ask her about it. She said she was getting better from the shock of it when we got into a relationship only for her to suddenly begin to shut me out and close down more than she used to. She simply cannot sleep, has lost a lot of her previous liveliness and is in so much pain. She has even developed some serious headaches in diagnosed by the dozen different doctors she's been too. It crushes me to see her in Soo much pain and not be able to do anything. What can I do to help her? How can I take the pain away from her? What do I do to get her back?",2.0126210826210844,3.3117710123456834,3.2551851851851867,93.91987179487178,76.53086419753086,7.206837606837608,23.57264957264957,7.882392219407189,0.8381988603988604,592,18,143,9,13,192,99,162,0.175,0.675,0.149,-0.4836,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,3,10,13,0,0,7,0,16,10,1,2,0,19,29,9,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,0,7,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,8,1,1,6,2,24,5,28,22,6,17,0,1,1,1,21,9,0,2,6,105,31,1,0.1307607661761177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115911529561964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076049690236036,0.0,0.12224366496874416,0.0,0.12285404420366905,0.10054695780903318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722535680365652,0.11564727152182475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271942517625507,0.0,0.1366171696436566,0.0,0.133839184989341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636625282516881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790912034406338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951297135395544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102544358156347,0.0,0.1366342067508512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458132993436188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764618524919737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124406613034052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236019620546758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274082285421946,0.11116812735368622,0.11801669671511025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19224841733207207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944945498273004,0.6956933726544626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523266838242347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403881270224974,0.0,0.0,0.12438343254764375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419940098889796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130855200037627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831582278630203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293531822732394,0.0,0.10789132647056274,0.07712608778530478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756963252904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420564625729804
mentalhealth,Shi_hi,2019/02/12,"I have 2 voices in my head. Trans MTF and non-binary.  I have one voice who is my, don’t know how to put it in English so Burokiri. She is as sweet as fuck and we are close friends. The other is called Oni and he is horrible. He constantly argues tells me to kill myself etc while stating that he needs me to live. 

Whenever I am losing at something I let the two take over and get significantly better. I seem to backseat drive when that happens but Kiri tells me the more I do it the louder they get. 

Please help. 

 ",0.7158176100628957,2.982339292452835,2.326698113207545,94.1144496855346,85.32075471698113,5.420125786163523,19.21069182389937,6.816661863887847,0.11504654088050348,399,11,89,5,12,130,76,106,0.099,0.7879999999999999,0.113,0.3716,0,0,1,0,0,1,11.0,1,0,1,2,3,7,3,0,4,0,11,2,1,1,0,11,19,11,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,2,0,3,15,3,10,18,2,11,0,1,0,1,13,5,1,1,3,59,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18486174994493804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21343341996539966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258770311508041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331132401716759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148881027363432,0.19323619239587708,0.21840929085416505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848362414006083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21451545559440316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401021136768207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231250343840618,0.0,0.1148722647969455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137377425651394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456903433479244,0.0,0.0,0.23384060513201724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15498613908925146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416377796432532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294418698628507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101234520676304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028451954275152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091428286722922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715749112267025,0.0,0.3653864646045863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418277102344828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FullStub,2019/02/12,"Tip for Anxiety and Insomnia Hi all, I've been suffering with anxiety, depression and insomnia for just over 5 years now and have recently discovered something that really helps me. Having a hot bath, like really hot, to the point where it slightly hurts to get in. I'll stay in there for a minimum of 20 minutes. Once I've done that I'll splash my face with cold water. I do this right before I go to bed because afterwards I feel really exhausted like I've just got back from a run. I've found this can really help ease my anxiety and help me get to sleep so I thought I'd share this with other people suffering. I'd be very interested to hear if this works for anyone else :) ",4.757761437908499,5.5012130441176526,6.181274509803924,77.66045751633989,69.29411764705881,11.338562091503267,29.08169934640523,11.20814326018867,3.4278277777777784,538,19,108,18,9,183,87,136,0.138,0.695,0.168,0.672,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,4,0,7,6,2,0,1,14,15,6,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,0,3,1,2,0,8,7,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,5,0,0,5,5,8,4,17,9,1,14,0,4,0,0,6,6,0,1,7,57,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739166884527385,0.0,0.0,0.11392251765626553,0.16693821592144426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528099418208646,0.0,0.09931893605891512,0.0,0.1386390849775383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032899701565113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673113833468306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610480647776685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238091027473537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864131414258896,0.0,0.0,0.17024552143624905,0.0,0.092595307753667,0.0,0.1303078011763033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836308458311895,0.0,0.3276200930457276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744169850624826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15919604385589115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351219810584667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295323693733385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401890886591665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41750145946953854,0.0,0.1608709983318201,0.0,0.0,0.13913897665051972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304490868580898,0.0,0.0,0.12542935278134984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365876456077162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934603304533976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443203989849414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186129745071128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491980372887648
mentalhealth,gothclout666,2019/02/12,"Medication takes away the good feelings too I feel myself grieve for the good emotions when I’m on medication. I want to go off so I can feel good ones too. I’m just afraid, it’s been 10 years... 

anxiety and cyclothymia here ",0.8460000000000001,3.381639266666672,2.2816666666666663,92.0625,89.66666666666666,5.666666666666668,20.833333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.637,177,6,38,3,6,57,34,45,0.091,0.698,0.211,0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,10,3,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,3,4,3,5,9,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268556241475647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243656387521553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686240577366151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.362241725269068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571867527986148,0.6008961981860237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811428578036341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618207947120889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17955202469625808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085367773255536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378291965493535
mentalhealth,fxckdepressixn,2019/02/12,"I can’t stop obsessing over my looks/comparing myself to others I don’t really know where else to put this honestly. It’s causing me so much distress that I feel the urge to cry during work. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depression. I’ve had anxiety for a long as I can remember, teen years. But only recently started seeing a therapist that diagnosed the depression. My therapist is very nice, sessions seemed to give me relief but there were some issues where I considered finding a new doc. Well now she’s on maternity leave, she went a bit earlier than expected so I haven’t had therapy in a few weeks. I have an appointment coming soon with another person filling her shoes until she’s back. hopefully it helps. This random paragraph was just for some background.

Ive noticed, among other things I have this intense sadness/anxiety based primarily around my looks. I’ve mentioned it to my therapist but she doesn’t seem to think much, I’ve tried talking about it to friends, my boyfriend no one seems to really get it. I feel like people just think it’s dumb or shallow, maybe it is just dumb or shallow but all I know is I feel so sad about it. I look in the mirror and want to cry. I look at the profiles of girls my bf follows online and want to cry because I just don’t stack up. I can barely hang out with an old best friend of mine because she’s so beautiful and it makes me feel sad. All of my clothes have to hide certain features of my body. I’ve had a full on panic attack during sex with my bf because I looked down at my body. Sometimes I am ok, it’s like it’s not really there. & then all of sudden I’m looking at pictures of myself on my social media and they look uglier than I remember the day before. I archive them or hide them so they’re not shown, I compare my pictures to these beautiful women and I can’t even come close. I have intrusive thoughts and anxiety that my bf doesn’t find me attractive compared to other women he knows. I just can’t do it anymore, I wish someone understood. I’m going to try bring it up with this fill in therapist. I just want help.",3.2417857142857147,5.0429986547619094,4.598571428571429,83.46642857142858,74.35714285714286,8.133333333333335,27.952380952380953,8.841846274778883,2.2825666666666664,1665,67,325,35,35,552,211,420,0.138,0.7020000000000001,0.16,0.9056,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,3,2,23,22,3,3,13,1,27,6,3,2,4,65,65,21,0,6,15,0,4,2,5,0,2,0,0,4,25,16,0,1,18,0,0,10,11,9,1,1,9,11,56,13,49,56,11,45,0,3,7,1,25,20,2,10,17,217,81,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496561172320817,0.0,0.0,0.08222786020708835,0.17996811851530228,0.0,0.07776934783588296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980843318418926,0.0,0.08921152435745021,0.0,0.060298418083381225,0.0,0.14340821852130675,0.0,0.0667277392173533,0.0,0.0822946026065113,0.0,0.08561188543563288,0.17420890981132828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055664213277121,0.0,0.13509991574010832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584146860775818,0.050572968768759635,0.0,0.13508220598845133,0.1591847542968602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550797730919954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179419183460533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860150543236312,0.056021664418639636,0.0,0.0,0.14334482653915834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117073588064095,0.0,0.04097004376204903,0.07522546224660479,0.04456662094631038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512354499292036,0.0,0.0,0.0778865309790341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184776933615105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928905260497414,0.0,0.0,0.08303308670040535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662191437985402,0.0,0.0,0.06939725118322969,0.3951070173901105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523444646638814,0.0,0.07878118139807043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529215499661967,0.0,0.0,0.07573636262005633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927914111267783,0.0822862493106051,0.0,0.0531379045978243,0.05964024119061227,0.0,0.09200634696197238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436500204348192,0.06847136454759427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883150934629263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150709277878933,0.0,0.07742807900138793,0.0,0.17766407409303364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062488803060553474,0.21416575446268388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993703237412135,0.06644311476592785,0.0,0.07755717116969356,0.0,0.05550449513873873,0.0,0.0,0.06556075985218776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630292262079164,0.0,0.0,0.08967754434596875,0.36419626017348855,0.05209727622376508,0.10049387027991764,0.0,0.062254943209174726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648102503826004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647028657341246,0.13875848223811876,0.0,0.06290199811522036,0.0,0.07050698510053427,0.07269405045934986,0.0,0.0,0.09017655558491468,0.0,0.0,0.05708906425621256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05049846731959204
mentalhealth,NordicWerewolf,2019/02/12,"Should we really try to cure autism? Is it really okay to have? Why or why not? I'm honestly so confused with life now considering how there's literally pros and cons of autism. Some people say autism is a beautiful thing while others say it's very harmful. In case anyone doesn't know what I mean, I mean if we should all strive to be autistic in the first place. Some think we should because some autists are known to be highly intelligent and artistic in certain areas. Others think we should not at all because there's some autists out there (a very small but vocal group) who are known to be violent, selfish, unintelligent and whiny (it's mainly people like Chris Chan and others who keep making autists look very bad). So should we strive or not? Are there really more bad effects of autism than there are good effects? And if there are more bad effects then that's something we really should work on because we really don't wanna normalize something that could cause more harm. I'm just saying.

It should be noted that I am in fact autistic but I'm just gonna say that I don't know anymore. I really don't because I don't know how to feel about my disorder. I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of it anyway. But I do know that I don't try to let it define me by any means because disorders shouldn't define you. Only you as a person defines who you are. That's the most important thing to know.

Sorry if I'm sounding all worried. It's just that I kinda am because truth be told, I'm a little nervous about going out in public because I am worried that people would stereotype me as some mentally challenged lost cause who's harmful to society. But I just really need to know right now if autism is okay and that if we all should try to strive for it. If anyone can leave any comments with right answers then that would be awesome.",4.839836512261581,5.815267457765671,5.214764032697548,83.82199346049049,69.24523160762942,8.05183651226158,27.759019073569483,8.238735603445708,1.7464169809264305,1475,48,290,20,25,469,154,367,0.154,0.763,0.083,-0.983,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,8,3,0,8,19,21,1,3,6,2,42,1,0,8,7,96,69,29,0,23,21,0,2,1,0,13,1,5,0,1,28,18,0,1,20,1,0,1,11,12,0,1,2,8,27,9,33,46,14,23,0,1,1,0,24,16,0,18,7,194,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124164220239071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197151588816833,0.11558854763371693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20704033149092727,0.3526998992574155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698188361928668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599326438797896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945950308568524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358566828843693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030627157060143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04697472177202525,0.06932706366177509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732950929791336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346753124959343,0.0,0.0,0.3179750526088996,0.0,0.0,0.08751967420466743,0.0,0.08452030243803314,0.0583816466471442,0.040381041160487234,0.08284198983523956,0.0,0.0,0.06940935397381279,0.0,0.09022765893068033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05517283140791949,0.0,0.0,0.2701064662290475,0.0,0.0,0.08329676473522965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128760972355812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098431704111145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286282596386594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190763788473212,0.07217112786829845,0.08635684690757242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706562125458662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117377811822526,0.0,0.2629221848978173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726366145083146,0.0,0.09252546700060256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982457290804842,0.10592392907418637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898036179393787,0.0,0.16835188821690633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045970090064572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916650071088033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017379942023347,0.16788025960126152,0.0,0.11743143224363085,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,googlyeyepenguin,2019/02/12,"When I get extremely frustrated I have a tendency to bang my head against a wall and rip out my hair... is this just part of depression or something else? Sometimes when I get into a really frustrating/heated argument with my SO I tend to turn volatile- crying, shouting, and the above actions. By the time I do start to hit my head or pull on my hair or rip my clothing I don’t realize it, I am in an emotional surge. At this point I don’t remember the specifics of what we argue about. This time it was jabs about my depression, how I did absolutely nothing for some weeks, or how I wouldn’t get up and ready to go out into snow. I had been up hours earlier than him waiting for him to get up, and by then I’d grown sleepy again. That I’m somehow always ruining something he wants to go out and do by being too tired. I wanted to sleep for a few moments more because I had been up waiting all morning. I tried to wake him up but it was my fault for not trying harder. I have to “really” wake him up.

I’m normally not this volatile at all... I’m generally a quiet person, non confrontational and I keep to myself. I’m more likely to suffer in silence. But when I argue with my SO, something just goes off in my head. My voice raises to levels I didn’t think it could, I just sound like a screeching monster. Yet in the moment I can’t stop myself. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with me, just that I’m troubled emotionally. I’ve never acted this way with anyone else. 

I don’t have the heart to confide this to anyone else.. it’s not like me and they might think I’m crazy. I probably am. But I just wanted a second opinion, because to me this isn’t normal. 
Thank you for any/all input.
22/F",2.4016386678455675,3.950681626780632,4.090458787700168,87.29358974358975,76.03703703703705,7.120581589547108,24.63906081147461,7.873277556716777,1.259266352293939,1325,44,281,20,29,445,173,351,0.135,0.8270000000000001,0.038,-0.9843,0,0,3,0,0,0,44.0,1,1,1,0,19,15,4,0,13,0,26,10,9,2,3,58,52,22,0,7,15,0,2,3,0,2,1,4,0,1,15,17,0,4,5,0,0,6,12,11,0,1,8,6,46,4,52,39,7,44,0,4,0,0,12,22,0,8,18,196,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911262232839288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315249931463742,0.22442450821389168,0.09012247325053184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335200766242629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743974715365689,0.0,0.12029836588754232,0.0,0.0,0.1886522266309944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744601117010859,0.24638189259407325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288707065249029,0.0,0.12448112189787253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33718554524668626,0.0,0.0,0.12977718403084074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785136317580374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734300032046908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605122005231911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617934544864902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446561869038374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21460518042736074,0.10508371496138363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859533552477775,0.0,0.0,0.09562529193127432,0.0,0.0,0.10352817563995956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180769499155977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031772054537273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406046719747173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959525728312036,0.0,0.0,0.2529326852287739,0.10831428851269086,0.0,0.07751610598399225,0.0,0.0,0.09156041860015617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082777170822292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105206113456601,0.0,0.0,0.1277195142212811,0.12587272235858854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870857579225358,0.1191221402686014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378641654990714,0.08692883502697685,0.08784726246615675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973873540467128,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thesongofmyppl,2019/02/12,"Not an emergency but need help I’m trying really hard to hold it together at work and not doing great. I am not going to seriously harm myself or anyone else. It’s not that serious but been having nightmares for 4 nights, sexual abuse flashbacks, and this is not something I can burden my friends with right now. I think just chatting with someone who can empathize without trying to fix it would help.",6.1875,7.242031171052632,6.485368421052634,75.63857894736844,66.23684210526315,9.237894736842106,30.989473684210523,9.3871,2.875518947368422,323,12,55,6,5,104,59,76,0.179,0.62,0.2,-0.2428,0,0,1,0,1,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,0,0,18,12,5,0,2,10,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,1,1,5,2,8,10,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,2,40,11,1,0.0,0.2919131896780088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17227059868299968,0.25243952636853795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058140653659367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19034812842156448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002015957978187,0.0,0.0,0.2716284718822902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207029282426816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302789224974816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268337884795136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312055365233251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578336483724293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104022567342433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875209596237504,0.18967092845736386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786666629197182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345438761452759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374959776648072,0.0,0.1793633826770321,0.0,0.0,0.17501719288763995,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kahooter321,2019/02/12,I finally have a friend. After years of being alone I finally found someone to count on. Thank God for everything,1.6050000000000004,4.042877952380955,3.314642857142857,80.64910714285716,102.8095238095238,7.814285714285713,24.29761904761905,8.07648339933343,2.9018476190476203,91,4,15,3,4,30,19,21,0.084,0.588,0.328,0.7003,0,1,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,5,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320237295332052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778884544376109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6774255876348104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390211473148067,0.23888666451650095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26198362089926786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846692355731121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991142553273905
mentalhealth,Dexter_Jettster,2019/02/12,"I'm writing about a 21 year old male, he has some mental health issues he wants to work on... etc. I've known this kid since he was a baby, I'm friends with his mom and sister and I've known them all for over 20 years.  He has struggled with drugs as well, currently he's been sober for almost 2 months and on his own will, so that's good.  He wants to get help, but has no health insurance.  We all live in Martin County, Florida.  He has a state ID, and here's a kicker, he's been to jail/rehab/detention centers for most of his adult life.  This is also affecting the whole family dynamic for them, and the thing is, I know that this young man, his mom and aunt all really do care about each other, however there is a lot of non-productive yelling going on which isn't healthy for any of them.

I am looking for any suggestions regarding getting this kid some state help because he also needs to be on medication that he knows of.  He's been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, Bi-polar, Anxiety disorder and a couple of other things.

I've been through the process myself, I have worked in mental health for many years so I know the process but there is always someone out there that might have a suggestion or idea that I am not aware of, would love to get opinions/suggestions.  TIA!",4.93545588235294,5.308745474509807,5.433468137254902,84.49373161764707,68.76470588235293,9.198529411764708,27.702205882352942,9.188382445141503,2.00139705882353,996,30,209,18,16,320,144,255,0.066,0.815,0.119,0.9414,2,0,1,0,1,0,36.0,1,0,3,2,11,7,0,1,11,0,23,8,0,1,3,38,38,15,0,4,4,4,0,0,1,3,7,1,0,5,14,13,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,5,2,14,6,33,29,11,19,0,0,1,1,35,9,0,7,7,127,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291248411670393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907599762945867,0.0,0.0,0.19019224940600735,0.09894664185701324,0.0,0.0,0.16173228710576995,0.0,0.09096949853023993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248935995788103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124156654065445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157696731789795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069602153572727,0.0,0.0,0.13628666611295506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137903418103271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262143864444353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210229277613078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187328153345793,0.0,0.18638422904503585,0.0,0.06758202272912725,0.09974009457409792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792026234765588,0.0,0.0,0.15941217117709586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424033781331438,0.0,0.12411615891336868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960573969092909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399304182831496,0.0,0.0,0.10500394934525904,0.0,0.09985848475351206,0.0,0.0,0.1010971127651292,0.10732525212029603,0.0,0.0,0.1205609454537242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979415318117018,0.2396763039883079,0.12614981364334754,0.0,0.2785431592698021,0.09491666094839543,0.0,0.0,0.08817381938849557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247810817406012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617986755434902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836755356981428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075612637795682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431557088391534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800342189378386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027806313867286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691868866089192,0.0,0.0,0.13276413044749832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314278517080972,0.0,0.0,0.08447366395823215,0.0,0.0,0.2297317023624134
mentalhealth,shansramoray_,2019/02/12,"Does anyone ever fixate on something and it’s all you think about for like 5 days my train of thought JUST KEEPS GOING AND I honestly think I’m going insane sometimes?? I dont hear “voices” theyre just my thoughts but they’re 
So
Freakin
Wild
Sometimes and so dark and nasty 


But now it’s about a boy and I KEEP PICTURING SCENARIOS WITH HIM AND IMAGINGING CONVERSATIONS ITS BEEN 4 DAYS I WANNA STOP 

(P.s. I’m on 50g lamictal right now) ",0.0757196969696956,2.3412311931818195,1.7161818181818198,93.20760606060608,100.70454545454544,5.073939393939394,19.503030303030304,6.742157984588678,0.5555657575757573,347,12,71,6,15,112,63,88,0.13699999999999998,0.818,0.045,-0.8643,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,21,13,10,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,7,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,8,2,8,10,1,11,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,7,38,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197535225245035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28034402298062505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19020342169638635,0.0,0.2547312045065732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19660445592701464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24704869243229266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449679225297175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863792449804252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106185657321913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18561470922114248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732574440865264,0.42992709160748177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171335017593973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27853670216576604,0.0,0.3451013783567216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SpreadTHEwords,2019/02/12,Overcoming Heartbreak Hi everyone. A close friend of mine has suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She went through a very difficult breakup. I wrote this for her. It helped. Maybe it can provide some therapeutic relief for anyone else going through similar feelings. [https://youtu.be/MG1RKtB6R5M](https://youtu.be/MG1RKtB6R5M),10.454821428571428,15.408484124999998,6.2592857142857135,62.40000000000001,72.33333333333334,9.40952380952381,38.107142857142854,9.23628265651192,5.301514285714287,290,15,33,8,7,78,43,48,0.258,0.634,0.108,-0.8313,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,1,4,2,7,4,1,4,0,3,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407895807365011,0.0,0.0,0.22008663515187846,0.3225075338596831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711012484871471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26294054504721376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007654724651168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915148046342484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431818279615344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888465014305624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21097615399775144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31911596719804264,0.3162174688816564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597089313557269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29178451288843005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20269431398239413
mentalhealth,wolfeaterrr,2019/02/12,"I feel stuck in the middle of a whirlpool and I can't get out It's been getting worse since I got a divorce. We still live together still cause we can't afford to find new places and we still care deeply about each other. 
I stopped streaming to update my computer and desk and it's been over a month and I haven't even started building the computer. My viewers are understanding but I feel like a failure. I work 2 12-hour shifts a week, I got my boss to give me this schedule so I could dedicate more time to my streaming, but now all I do is sit and watch netflix.
I'm practically a hypochondriac, any illness in me strikes fear that I'm dying, and I don't have my husband's health insurance anymore.
I'm lost.. I can't swim against this current. 
How does one be happy?
",1.4310461653015665,3.75365929746836,2.672680565897249,92.45463514519732,82.60759493670886,5.742963514519732,26.38272524199553,7.048011613610866,1.1846093819806405,611,27,130,8,17,196,99,158,0.138,0.792,0.07,-0.8462,2,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,3,0,0,2,8,5,0,1,8,0,13,2,0,3,1,24,28,11,1,1,2,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,12,0,1,4,2,0,1,5,2,0,1,6,4,22,3,11,20,3,21,0,1,2,0,6,6,0,0,14,80,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157998144040711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887721838810302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361716889942802,0.1749298666458826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595892184545005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672921267000594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901777633660562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247180655476867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19161825676373714,0.17220268534401162,0.12165182195505565,0.0,0.0,0.15563764034220634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793403751757558,0.16335313551779948,0.0,0.0,0.2723853524924536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812718230091984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810052657838814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769667724652268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831927753550656,0.0,0.1503650021089905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18588647406096248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592006788960082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446256277086088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538969747297315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17791185067767035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086172465139934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052878168461705,0.0,0.40797007972541977,0.14236610010685175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929470302353102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772729584495097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659256208717704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396969551955606,0.0,0.173535225229748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DevTheSledge,2019/02/12,"Anxiety/ Bad paranoia? Hi, I’m a 21 year guy. I love a normal life, But my entire life I’ve had a feeling of dread when I’m alone. I constantly feel like I’m being watched. It doesn’t matter if I’m at home or work, night or day. If I’m by myself, I feel like there’s something just out of sight watching me. I’m constantly on edge when I’m alone, ready to defend myself if some unseen threat were to pounce. I’m constantly checking over my shoulder, jumping at every noise and scanning rooms I go into when I’m alone. I hate this. I’m not superstitious but the best way I can describe this is a ghost constantly following and tormenting me when I’m alone. Can anyone give advice? I’m already on general anxiety meds for panic attacks, but they don’t help with this issue. Anything?",2.0957083333333344,4.136312987500002,3.8362500000000033,86.55708333333338,78.5,6.7666666666666675,25.041666666666664,7.793537801064563,1.4480291666666665,618,23,124,10,15,207,99,160,0.19,0.691,0.119,-0.8638,0,4,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,6,10,3,2,5,0,8,4,1,0,0,22,28,14,1,4,10,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,4,5,0,0,3,0,1,3,3,6,0,0,2,7,13,4,14,25,2,23,0,0,4,1,6,8,0,6,13,63,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008849591743476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5091155875793039,0.13561421507823712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18802386150914435,0.0,0.0,0.08592884061103682,0.0,0.1011295235020333,0.0,0.0,0.13980722340589424,0.0,0.0,0.1026095635997685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896741732164982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5312097374727787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925507824105264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354168597138548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641343925742854,0.17558792789067962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788906289711255,0.0698422717912709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168225495516664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213302619157254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237181824826321,0.0,0.1232705479966839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826716565232366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736042994587805,0.12007750319980882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091469485452003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650514408711406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532567860207145,0.12040792299027807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441871103214533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460815196881624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975458323300415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894667322186073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913832381024499
mentalhealth,CAMH_PETSAD,2019/02/12,"Participants Needed for PAID Social Anxiety Study [TORONTO, CA] Hello r/mentalhealth,  
  
I am a research coordinator at the Center for Addictions and Mental Health in Toronto, Canada who is recruiting volunteers for a social anxiety study (SAD). For this study, we are looking for individuals aged 18 to 40 years old who currently experience social anxiety disorder. We will use brain imaging techniques, including PET (positron emission tomography) and MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scans to observe and study whether an important brain network, the endocannabinoid system, contributes to SAD. This will help us learn more about the biological mechanisms of this condition and also potentially guide development of new treatment options.  


The study includes:  
1. Screening visit  
2. MRI scan  
3. PET scan  
4. Memory and cognitive tests   


To be eligible, volunteers must meet the following criteria:   
- Be 18 - 40 years old  
- Experience extreme shyness or anxiety in social settings/in front of others  
- No current drug or alcohol abuse  
- No unstable medical condition  
- No neurological illness (seizures, epilepsy) or head trauma  
- No metal implants in body  
- Not pregnant/breastfeeding  
- Not claustrophobic  
- Not have been exposed to radiation more than 4 times (in the past year)  
- **Live in Canada**; preferably within a 200km radius of downtown Toronto (but not required)  

Volunteers will **receive compensation** for their time, including transportation and meals.    

For more information about this research study, please contact:  
M Ahmed  
(416) 535-8501 Ext. 30308 OR 
(416) 535-8501 Ext. 30682 OR 
PET.SAD@camh.ca  


**Moderator Required Information:**
- Personal information (PI) will be collected for contact and data collection purposes. All paper forms of PI will be secured behind a 3-lock door system. Electronic PI will be kept on a locked excel file on CAMH’s computer drive which is only accessible by authorized personnel. Each subject’s case report form (CRF) binder will be given a non-identifiable subject ID which will used for majority of the study.
- For more information about PI collection, please read CAMH’s privacy policy [here]( https://www.camh.ca/en/-/media/files/camhfoundationprivacypolicy-pdf-pdf.pdf).
- Accountability: My role in this study is Masters student/research coordinator. I am enrolled at the University of Toronto; Faculty of Medicine, Institute of Medical Science. My research hospital is the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health; Research Imaging Centre, Mood and Anxiety.
- I have no conflicts of interest with this study or posting.",7.584035989717226,11.760447478149107,7.555768123393317,54.74858277634962,74.2185089974293,10.926910025706944,39.65660668380463,10.17224662633116,6.340006231362468,2075,124,238,76,50,663,228,389,0.107,0.846,0.047,-0.9643,2,0,2,0,1,0,120.0,3,0,1,4,5,7,0,0,16,0,25,17,4,2,2,41,33,18,0,3,12,0,0,0,0,9,12,0,3,1,11,13,2,5,6,1,2,6,9,3,0,0,4,5,9,3,44,14,9,33,0,2,5,0,23,12,0,7,12,141,20,15,0.0,0.12357586864542,0.0,0.22740005008014702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146265676709773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340693359639095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3989377562390326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158513721824624,0.0,0.23286173387013215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953434428645762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095236553936632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040465735976587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070396591761735,0.22172742324088685,0.0,0.0,0.06990863411810815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209689099057672,0.0,0.08758390557853431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101381735759029,0.21021535455639648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733551626467203,0.0,0.10073149006149767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21888604675171214,0.0,0.0,0.07932319634751711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995640762542466,0.0,0.09106883851848292,0.0,0.22897538531954864,0.0,0.0,0.09988848651757364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432605025525173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4252739954008335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163380190918842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545744256360788,0.18015966852449866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20149314079590927
mentalhealth,BeeElEl,2019/02/12,"I woke up today feeling really bad, but decided to canalize my attention in a cleaning So, today I woke up feeling completely numb and I was like a zombie dragging my body around the house, then I decided that I shouldn't let this feeling take over me.

So I grabbed some cleaning cloth and started cleaning my house, while I was cleaning I've realized that I'm not feeling that bad anymore, I was just feeling useless and cleaning was a purpose for me today.

I just wanted to share this. One day at a time guys.",3.9425999999999988,5.704408660000002,4.979000000000003,81.62950000000002,72.4,7.4,34.5,8.07648339933343,2.8423000000000003,406,22,73,6,8,133,58,100,0.145,0.715,0.14,-0.6732,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,5,0,6,2,1,0,0,20,17,8,0,2,4,0,6,1,0,1,1,0,5,1,5,4,0,0,9,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,6,6,14,2,9,9,1,14,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,1,9,52,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529931791737302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735467845112278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951759400689169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963415144582476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18533044294642767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399615885848605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4468781161318536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502108349371234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40791669754615256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074999842348727,0.0,0.08635644827996303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977776194310655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323756017494804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251122763650031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290220029344935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307070355002564,0.0,0.5026460015453638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425815983834552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fildo_Daggins,2019/02/12,"I have been depressed for 11 years, I am 17, and I have an annoying issue that I wish someone, anyone, could shed light upon. Ever since I was a kid, according to my parents, and a lot of pictures, show that I had a ""good"" childhood, going to the zoo, making friends etc. . I cannot remember anything about it, except of some broken images which are just traumatic experiences. But this is not where it stops, these last years, since... I don't even know when; I keep forgetting more and more things. Whether those are places, names, experiences, food, or even what I ate and what I did in school! That happens as often as week per week, or after 2 days. I don't know what it is... And I am honestly dying to know what it is. It sucks feeling like you just popped out here with just a few memories of a lonely kid who cried more than laughing. So please, if anyone can help, I am begging them to shed some light upon all this and tell me what it is. (Forgive my grammar or vocabulary mistakes, English isn't my first language.)",5.484283333333337,5.619971395,5.8370000000000015,82.89933333333336,67.55,8.666666666666668,30.16666666666667,8.344100000000001,2.0141166666666668,789,27,160,10,12,253,126,200,0.112,0.775,0.114,-0.2907,1,2,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,1,1,12,11,2,0,7,0,21,2,0,1,2,39,32,16,1,4,11,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,21,8,2,2,6,1,0,1,5,5,0,1,5,3,20,6,19,26,9,19,0,2,0,0,11,6,1,8,13,122,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211854270255684,0.0,0.1246654862935302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095449899594972,0.0,0.16640748686509205,0.09770018218224827,0.0,0.13048033817231816,0.0,0.1572253816542352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16895427325319426,0.20011884219655104,0.13703371277680956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963776270512665,0.0,0.0,0.07659920087928802,0.10822633025322607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12885951214809588,0.18318543047650093,0.0,0.11704279241372745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609672502341645,0.12706478956355075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396438921141196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154228382768513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811889572700513,0.0,0.13465356680222856,0.0,0.0,0.24976908220343855,0.12348667309414073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401162297089296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879357507968242,0.0,0.0,0.10112247428615606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821458344437865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827750376412675,0.16629336174978024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161156274507913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331857994089826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506324572400337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283591724082682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665458124186904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241119324315992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064493942473364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430364214362966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420899195176684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511251078050795
mentalhealth,avocadotoast2001,2019/02/12,"How do I explain my depression to my doctor without straight up dying? Hey!

I kinda need advice, so here I am. I am about to turn 18 and I\`ve been struggling with depression and suicide thoughts and at this point I just need professional help, because I\`m about two bad days away from commiting suicide. I need to talk to my Doctor, otherwise I can\`t go to psychologist. I just don\`t know what  to tell her. My other option is waiting until I turn 18, I will need to see a different doctor after that. So I\`m not sure if I should wait or not.

Thanks in advance",3.811243628950052,5.707162275229366,4.614067278287461,83.55323139653416,73.03669724770644,7.413251783893987,27.70744138634047,8.167268648758528,1.895482364933741,444,17,84,7,9,143,73,109,0.246,0.731,0.023,-0.979,1,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,1,1,0,7,3,0,1,2,26,21,9,3,6,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,3,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,2,1,16,2,18,17,0,11,0,2,1,0,6,6,0,4,3,60,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447761291115078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919724728551244,0.0,0.12370390114644456,0.09031439807868448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955482317645002,0.0,0.2552127399136877,0.0,0.15376232541243312,0.15479127341391125,0.0,0.4549312051600258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420035308999188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930570703508028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142255084527646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4394225816863399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400551153579581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806098757651423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548846059989001,0.0,0.3241167882209449,0.0,0.13963508433096672,0.0,0.0,0.11908201674273215,0.1294946958912654,0.1364019515517326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761915282122985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32230192397143553,0.14472668476392944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428169003438065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Minuted,2019/02/12,"Thinking too much, borderline obsessive thinking and ""pumped-up"" mood. Can't ""turn off"". Advice? Hello!

So I've dealt with mental health issues for all of my adult life. Depression and social anxiety mainly, but suffice to say I haven't made the best decisions in life and I'm a bit of a mess of a person. I'm 27 so I can turn things around and am trying to but I'm here to ask for some advice.

A few years ago I finally started taking medication, after years of agonizing on and off about taking medication. I can say that it's an issue that I've put to rest in my mind, enough to be confident that it's not something I will ever really obssess about again. Lofepramine, if it's important, an older type of tricyclic anti-depressant. SSRIs give me awful sexual side effects, and the lofepramine helps a little without side effects that are too bad, so long as I take it properly and regularly.

But my thinking is still an issue. I tend towards thinking about things. Not just thinking but ruminating, going over and over the same issues again and again and again. It feels like I can't ""turn off"" this little engine in my mind that is working far too hard for no real reason or purpose in mind. A few years ago I went down a pretty deep hole thinking about free will, responsibility etc. It was hell, I would obsess, day in, day out about the same things over and over and over and over again, as if maybe I could find some kind of answer without really having any specific question. That was one of the lowest points in my life, I would obsess about suicide daily, and it finally convinced me to start taking medication.

I'm not as bad these days, and I'm trying to help myself. Let myself slip a bit towards the end of last year but more recently I've been making some effort. Just getting up, showering, doing some chores around the house every day. Small but important things. But the thinking is still an issue at times. It feels like I'm in overdrive, almost like a (very) minor manic episode. I'll think and think and think. Sometimes distractions help, other times, not.

I don't work and my days are spent not doing much, so that's obviously something I need to address. I think a large part of it is probably boredom and under-stimulation. I hope to look for some voluntary work soon, and ideally I'd like to have a job before the end of the year, but I'm just trying to take things one step at a time for now, build a solid base of habits to work from.

I was wondering if anyone had any tips or advice that might help me ""turn off"" a little bit while I work towards getting a job or some voluntary work. I have tried mindfulness. I would say it helped a little, and I'm going to start meditating daily again. Even so even the idea of mindfulness itself is helpful, and I do try to tell myself to be mindful when I find myself in these ""overdrive"" moods, but it's not always that helpful. Also, drugs are obviously not a good idea. I became addicted to opiates simply because they stopped me from thinking about things, they ""turned it off"", so to speak. I'm getting treatment for this, I've been on maintenance medications and have reduced my dose to under 10% of what it once was, but currently I'm happy (well, content enough) to stay on this dose while I try to sort myself out a bit, and have something to do every day before finally jumping off. 

Also, exercise, I have exercised daily in the past, and did find it helpful. I am going to start going out in the morning and walk up a large hill near me every morning, large enough to tire me out and get my chest pumping and my throat all parched. But like I said, I'm taking things one step at a time and my current goal for the next week is to get up, tidy a bit and shower every day (I find it really helpful to put a timer on my phone for 30 minutes and force myself to work for that long. Sometimes I find it hard, but often the alarm will go off and I'll be so into it that I'll continue tidying past the alarm).

**tl;dr I get into moods where I think far too much and feel ""pumped up"", and I'm basically asking for any advice that might help me reign in these moods and the incessant thinking while I work towards goals that will likely help me much more with this issue, such as voluntary work or a job.**

I feel like this post is long and rambly because I'm currently in one of these moods, so apologies if it's a bit much, but I hope I've adequately explained the issue and what I'm asking for.

Thank you.",5.632405446939294,5.7983708574660655,6.25223597711944,79.94470630922909,67.23529411764707,8.979390420899854,29.122684197046016,8.733022093515281,2.1064508067958685,3514,110,686,51,53,1149,320,884,0.08,0.813,0.108,0.9814,9,0,4,0,0,1,119.0,0,1,2,16,45,34,1,6,46,1,50,17,2,5,5,151,125,76,1,12,33,0,6,7,0,9,15,5,4,2,51,47,0,3,33,2,2,12,14,11,1,4,12,12,62,19,120,99,33,135,1,1,1,0,32,63,1,23,65,465,113,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03956212166483993,0.0,0.1418510565706605,0.06433887234299307,0.0,0.03633980381119123,0.0,0.0,0.058043175513262164,0.030196694753288456,0.0,0.0,0.07403657790440699,0.0,0.02776221736708364,0.0,0.0,0.025375238355362338,0.0,0.0,0.06461267402593453,0.10178046461235543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060602287087053015,0.044244838115326784,0.0,0.06176127246922523,0.0,0.03808475630930385,0.0,0.2377196820247947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028975099142173763,0.0,0.0,0.16383108870747454,0.0,0.06251409854169837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04208558616791937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428541778566932,0.11249370386257536,0.0404736232107344,0.047939211364566615,0.03282693447939608,0.12230561671991265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733984914364525,0.07777805724248107,0.0,0.11926376836185215,0.165844800692656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376207551203575,0.034813260009472366,0.10312395008363848,0.030438841925231868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038632029234129096,0.06501851682990804,0.0,0.0,0.038575221472447935,0.0,0.0,0.26757314047832903,0.0,0.0,0.07208952855138669,0.0,0.04187449154311627,0.0,0.08193536290771375,0.0,0.26514577817118634,0.10803849226615098,0.0,0.0,0.03779108583197136,0.0,0.02958169084524705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03710960755435243,0.07689939338684221,0.1241083127737674,0.14549090067732762,0.0,0.09634814372284486,0.03047497242994088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03433905271266472,0.024224264018830783,0.0,0.03645879559867003,0.0,0.0,0.14623588669408,0.036572399301787545,0.07699720464039961,0.21985902524684187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338887024023782,0.0269090275257004,0.0,0.0,0.038595475510907966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03864831532062403,0.09836582635056323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03929919420502447,0.06928698734814911,0.0,0.03168756091367659,0.0,0.0,0.03430635667215275,0.0,0.034756372789998616,0.0369205971447681,0.039127415638539435,0.0,0.0,0.072964173295871,0.040653788767803914,0.0,0.0,0.04130665927832276,0.06974608224326226,0.03731279133821717,0.035832599306240165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034520680636813024,0.0865792491636339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036993706775813116,0.0,0.08381485387785058,0.07178468260330452,0.0,0.10274672235977483,0.038680961708758135,0.057963456150978435,0.03034057499933545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03969603720550049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371613407524013,0.0,0.031719592769199605,0.03341151794956946,0.0,0.0,0.1687690813932574,0.3255498060963532,0.0,0.0,0.08464538627836421,0.04171071770400109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783365233090584,0.19736881319231397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029943553962830258,0.0,0.0,0.02911013837737292,0.0,0.03262961677446759,0.03364175910926054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996570613623823,0.03935561856047302,0.2377799671101169,0.0,0.0,0.07733942448268548,0.0,0.0,0.11684981523368085
mentalhealth,ExcessPixels,2019/02/12,"Genuinely feeling down for no apparent reason I'm racking my brains I can't figure out what it is, just need some ideas please.

could be a new job I have which works lates, then I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.

Unmotivated to do university work which I have previously been so passionate about, I just want to stay in bed.

its so sudden I don't get it, any ideas?

I have had a spout of depression in the past, but it was worse than this, I'm just anxious its all down hill again, I feel quite alone in what should be a happy life with multiple friends etc.

should I be asking in r/MentalHealthSupport instead?

thanks",3.31496062992126,4.833316440944884,4.322055118110239,86.69568110236222,73.56692913385827,7.914645669291338,24.511023622047247,8.548686976883017,1.3708022047244095,496,15,108,9,10,161,83,127,0.133,0.723,0.14400000000000002,0.6738,2,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,8,5,0,0,5,0,17,3,1,1,1,21,28,4,0,6,4,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,10,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,2,10,4,18,19,3,16,0,1,0,1,2,9,0,1,6,73,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18431855266998926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121022620541277,0.0,0.0,0.20105032232786896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637368846518175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198668318354128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209094455271054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328139631319224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984785392196699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996937518273404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749567866599366,0.0,0.1859592229459552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944754932263935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4018027013712833,0.0,0.0,0.17660326589189626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075279887950556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257022727026423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319591390994222,0.0,0.17188015740691984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988817586443672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535264119992007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18928818080318485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829781406141454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968750921044605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638466919853998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209937287220756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591219596799875,0.0,0.1813620153158595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Saucy_Pig,2019/02/12,"What are ways to improve your self-esteem? I have very low self-esteem and would like to know steps that I can take or tools I can use to improve my self-esteem and self-confidence on my own, as seeing a therapist is not an option right now. ",8.8738,5.24154158,8.556000000000001,78.24800000000002,63.2,11.6,33.0,8.841846274778883,2.4352,189,4,41,2,2,61,37,50,0.049,0.78,0.17,0.7102,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,0,8,10,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,1,5,9,1,6,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,2,2,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126689054397821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015821585748146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507861778483658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336754507559428,0.0,0.8554864175733936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414306088378227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23803403984470664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770640283536247,0.0,0.16915587779936753,0.0,0.16272850900726502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456342184487755,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,illbeyrbird,2019/02/12,"Loss of sense of self and the grief involved - how do I gain a sense of identity back? PTSD & Depression. I went through a rigorous partial hospitalization the beginning of this year. A lot of trauma came back, and I was introduced to the concept that I am grieving. Grieving my younger self growing up with trauma, and my current self who is going through a lot of changes. 

 It involved quitting my job and finding two new ones, that pay less and I work less hours. These two new jobs align with my interests and values for the first time in my life. However, this involves a lot of instability. I also went through a lot of social isolation, and was rarely on the internet. I haven’t worked a day in 2019 due to the program, and it’s hard for me to interact with people besides my partner and mental health providers.

These are problems i’ve never had before. Before 2019 I was super outgoing, motivated, and knew what I wanted and needed in life. Now, i’m just empty. The intention of this post is to receive some advice on how to find out who I am again. I’m not sure what my interests are, and I dont know what I want out of life. We did do some work on values, so at least I have those down.

Any advice on finding a sense of identity and self compassion would be wonderful.",3.722529880478092,5.407899211155383,4.771432270916336,83.20671015936256,72.82470119521912,8.04788844621514,29.283067729083662,8.697196308434329,2.291885896414343,1006,42,197,19,20,329,135,251,0.138,0.747,0.114,-0.5242,4,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,9,9,12,0,0,15,0,18,4,0,4,2,45,31,17,3,5,2,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,5,15,20,0,0,7,0,1,6,4,8,0,4,9,1,22,4,36,20,9,34,0,5,0,0,14,12,0,7,15,143,37,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20111769848519706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229413410244629,0.0,0.11149893735317123,0.0,0.06997981550428617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825719144532022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751313705349851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769739718472297,0.0,0.0,0.10886122470687716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663660528318374,0.0,0.08863304881568036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060542184178595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821634925596343,0.08753204958362061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584840240204836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218383549535564,0.0,0.0,0.1093845889999543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134198050995244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042372559657828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056554613427270785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21805729737607515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499490386699593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370535057654932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630372046961596,0.07936768559085162,0.19877509923992268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973197480332209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134227405786442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985557932694854,0.0,0.0,0.098467435095375,0.12029196245311055,0.0,0.0,0.1094535212549866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4294148722692837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490001759671956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698797364170647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060005493393047275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010490122076381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213936085788861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079034950092336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115974969619048,0.2247510446858558,0.0,0.0,0.07310168581122177,0.0,0.0,0.0662682858382857
mentalhealth,FrannyyU,2019/02/12,"Emotional after yoga I'm feeling surprisingly emotional after a yoga session. 

This has taken me by surprise and am curious whether this is a known thing.

I would prefer to hear an explanation from a psychologist or mental health professional, rather than personal anecdotes (sorry, not being a dick. Am just curious to learn any underlying reasons) 



Male 49. Healthy. Not on any medications",6.95697435897436,10.143643492307692,8.059615384615388,56.574551282051324,67.92307692307692,11.102564102564099,38.52564102564103,10.864195022040775,5.790333333333335,317,18,40,11,6,107,52,65,0.0,0.725,0.275,0.9325,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,6,3,1,1,0,13,10,3,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,2,2,9,7,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,1,2,32,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441726971432444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5693065258161114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795241291007264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689860551269508,0.28521182553652874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549266911398509,0.2550203223523115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209582131071542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601830959029147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28327480059153065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681187623207286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976329453044387,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gmcrow,2019/02/12,"Fear of change? Right now, life seems perfect to me. Loving friends and family, and amazing parents. I'm going to be pursuing higher education overseas in a few years, and while I'm extremely excited, there's also a sense of dread. A sense that everything won't be as they used to be. A sense that I'm going to miss my parents very much.

On the one hand, I have this large ambition which I work on every day. On the other, a part of me wants to stay on the third world country I currently live in with all my friends and family. I know I should pick the former, but it's frightening.  Change is frightening. 

The fact that I can't always come home to my parents is frightening.

I'm sorry if I'm rambling, but I've been having these thoughts since forever. And they""re like a parasite in my consciousness. Everytime I experience something joyful, this thought will haunt me for the rest of the day. 

I guess I just need to vent. Someone to talk to. How do I resolve these thoughts? Are they normal? How do I deal with the concept of change? Anyways I think that's it. I'm not even sure if this is the right sub for this in the first place.",2.4620306272288635,4.541109484581501,3.6486217747010734,88.15672540381794,77.5022026431718,7.319404237465912,25.78749737780575,8.269060116576782,1.6735418082651554,891,34,184,17,21,289,127,227,0.111,0.767,0.122,0.3535,4,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,4,8,13,0,2,16,0,16,3,1,4,4,35,37,14,0,6,6,3,1,1,2,3,1,0,1,0,14,8,0,0,8,0,0,3,3,3,0,3,4,1,21,10,27,27,5,24,0,1,0,1,10,12,0,4,9,121,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828932277621427,0.10226913504078114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3900604643233073,0.10587418618429614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853072541115293,0.1267125443198426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117944233379222,0.0,0.10355512196589513,0.0,0.1104616049616372,0.12022741197255002,0.2317330695238891,0.13830544472919784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454531138364977,0.0,0.0,0.189916521863626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970266962272598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539679778885508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328654408937395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754691223455986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681341353291293,0.060046542474944675,0.0,0.10852983864701513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109290876009499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903513745129376,0.09113457589732596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042354761698795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328550575347538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4094236982346832,0.13309716947447855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841249078321873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20992517826457516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189064448123773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167060175928112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413937958221796,0.09462042871125573,0.0,0.13758521882051292,0.0,0.13100336075919275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583914638209035,0.0,0.0,0.09878863349443134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875435505721637,0.0,0.2927251913717143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615287630971272,0.0,0.10141180645249648,0.07249420451842913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894783417892996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914859312423424
mentalhealth,FairyPrincessDog,2019/02/12,"Friend with psychosis - can’t do this anymore I’m probably gonna sound like a mega jerk from the title, but let me explain. I met a friend my freshman year of college, who is very timid, soft-spoken, and overthinks a lot. I have this tendency to befriend people who need help, and it’s always worked out for me. At the time I assumed this friend had extreme anxiety, maybe depression, and possibly OCD.

Well, three years later I feel like I’m spiraling downward the longer I’m around her. After two years she told me she suffers from psychosis, and a lot started to make sense. She’s paranoid about everything and everyone. She has memorized my schedule and seems to pop up everywhere that I am, and she always ALWAYS wants to talk. Talking to her includes endless circles of rambling about things that I am NOT equipped to deal with. When I said she overthinks, she’ll spend an hour analyzing the tone of my voice in our last conversation and come to the conclusion that “I’m upset with her.” She’ll spend two hours analyzing somebody in class who has been “stealing the vibe” she was trying to give off, so therefore this person is “trying to become her.” Those are just normal daily things, because her psychotic episodes can get far worse than that. She refuses to take her medication, will not see the counseling services our college provides (“the counselors are nosey, they are bad people, it’s not good for me to talk to them”), and will not go to therapy. She insists that the only person who can save her is God, and that SHE has to pull herself together through God’s grace (as if all this is just a test). 

If I’m not around, she will spend hours staring at a wall and and thinking herself into what she calls “holes.” She “digs holes” and can’t get out of them. She makes me feel bad if I’m not with her 24/7. She makes things up about my other friends (I think to try to discourage me from hanging out with anyone other than her). And last year she did something awful to me that I forgave her for, telling myself she needed me, but now I’m starting to get bitter about the pain I went through because of her careless actions last year. 

I just feel like I can’t do this anymore. I want to tell her that I can’t talk to her until she sees a therapist, but I’m too afraid that she’ll hurt herself if I do that. I’m miserable every day because of her, and it’s honestly not my job to fix this but she makes me feel like it is. Please, can somebody help me?? 

(I am in the United States)

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mentalhealth,moonpotatoh,2019/02/12,"I feel like I'm just hiding how much of a horrible person I am on a daily basis and people are somehow buying it, but my mask is slowly slipping now. I can't remember how long I've been feeling like this but I'm convinced that I'm the most awful and toxic person in near proximity at all times and that I've just been lucky that people haven't noticed this yet. 

Recently someone told me their friends always describe me as kind and smiley but I know that just isn't true.   
It's getting really overwhelming to live with what feels like a double persona and all my horrible thoughts are just self fulfilling prophecies now; friends i thought didn't like me now really start to dislike me from all the shit I do. But the thing is, I do the bad stuff because I know they don't like me so I have nothing to lose, yet when I start feelings the effects of this I get even more overwhelmed. 

This is starting to affect me so bad I don't know how long before I crack completely, I'm already thinking of dropping out of uni because of this because I know I won't graduate with a good score anyway.

worst case scenario I'm scared my fleeting thoughts of suicide might start taking more serious shape, I can already feel it sometimes and I don't know what I'm really capable of once everything slips from underneath me. 

Please help me",5.263910427807488,5.924719299242426,5.752834224598932,81.47719251336902,68.12878787878788,8.636007130124778,32.57486631016043,8.671277953709913,2.5906085561497334,1061,45,203,16,17,342,137,264,0.16399999999999998,0.638,0.198,0.8217,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,2,2,18,21,1,3,9,1,21,1,1,5,4,45,49,17,1,0,8,0,5,5,2,2,0,0,0,3,16,9,0,0,16,0,1,0,8,9,0,0,7,5,30,12,22,40,9,22,0,3,0,0,9,7,1,4,19,135,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23136337632331574,0.0,0.08722633674404683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17505609617552673,0.1917088201290498,0.0,0.08920197382786066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991147800565336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923873337618096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421377376301752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650241020933188,0.22467011928819086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619816426796704,0.0,0.10953791674207304,0.0,0.0,0.0879258043822808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026483902448594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091635361298518,0.2880570814568265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560713910480742,0.0,0.09256615154539692,0.18554118141506135,0.0,0.11727712056429865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120727210686496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706156325083152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058649615026488,0.119348800098953,0.0,0.11163973389437708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145350810511893,0.18306572169146748,0.0,0.11507104088792575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146891260892907,0.0,0.10350624129683024,0.0,0.11875110915848652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495237052783517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935977398123213,0.0,0.10760572244822708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882148644488308,0.0,0.10367881234979326,0.0,0.2967947411835466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120004415264946,0.11466618903097407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881855259299676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964389809577977,0.06717035292751522,0.0,0.24966815360150402,0.061126780825428474,0.0,0.0,0.10016884423397973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CultOfGaia,2019/02/12,"Need to seek mental help maybe? Ive talked to some of my friends and they seem to think im depressed and im pretty sure ive had teachers and kids in school think i was autistic but idk i think im fine just kinda apathethic and prefer to be alone,dont even want a gf like everyone else on the planet seems to be obsessed with,plus i never really seem to connect with anyone if that makes so i guess id ask here and see if this kinda stuff seems as normal to u guys as it does to me ",2.07990566037736,3.0449048679245294,3.715235849056608,92.02587264150948,75.79245283018868,6.432075471698113,20.797169811320764,6.6274283507984215,0.12134339622641475,380,8,89,3,8,127,74,106,0.057,0.8009999999999999,0.142,0.775,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,1,2,28,19,11,0,6,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,8,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,9,4,14,15,1,3,0,1,1,0,8,2,0,10,2,47,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008205055243257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479752388283056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419002590451812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618102109104987,0.0,0.1689887763412571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045165148809613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523566747485808,0.0,0.0,0.13777904758855558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140028931103517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884076116660412,0.14277006847389093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664704303808674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.467247535053389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044360478167916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624747204855877,0.0,0.14485752415756908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530889263802801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069145329914033,0.11120767096714984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412748918604016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669234693548727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237135262377963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145927261388288,0.11490019746192093,0.5250580642102785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506224233759315,0.0,0.0,0.1358967012862062,0.0,0.0,0.11589389110468155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771720285877307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504658022881684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ele_canti99,2019/02/12,Help Hi guys.... i wanna ask smtg.... should i met a psychiatrist just because i think im in depressive mood sometimes. I will cry if i recall some types of traumatic events that happens to me because it is too suffocating. This thing has been for months. I sometimes think about wanting to die but i think i would never kill myself. Im still rational. And i never self harm (i guess). It just that i cant stay focus.,1.1653658536585354,3.68016212195122,2.8616585365853666,89.15102439024393,86.3170731707317,5.719024390243902,21.614634146341466,7.1686216300943375,0.8237229268292685,322,11,65,5,10,106,60,82,0.108,0.759,0.134,0.6227,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,2,16,15,3,2,5,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,13,0,7,10,1,7,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,3,5,44,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217338623219622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22453572885399486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230127144486265,0.0,0.0,0.15862470378039747,0.0,0.19113860326393656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20288319053638906,0.18235651096320526,0.1628602581311394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344476508084935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978687837456909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20375598640945874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470021369951303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840853560789907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192128691900988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642961917246157,0.0,0.0,0.19629991429533172,0.14707779967272674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223538651636588,0.3540246538376889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086277943665449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308285499889213,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bthxby29,2019/02/12,"Am I crazy? So for the past few months I've been feeling pretty great, no feelings of hopelessness, always having something to look forward to, been more sociable and been a hell of a lot less anxious.

I'm F 19 and have struggled with an eating disorder, anxiety and depression since I was 14. It got so bad I wasn't getting out of bed, I stopped going to school and was lucky enough to have a teacher willing to come to my house to tutor me. I stopped talking to my old friends, fought with my parents constantly and overall just felt, pointless? It's hard to think about now.

But over the past year or so I've been feeling better, more positive. Before I genuinely couldn't see a future for myself, then suddenly I could. I was more willing to be in contact with people and more confident in talking to them. 

Now I was in therapy seeing someone once a week most of the time, mainly focusing on aspects of my anxiety and depression rather than the eating disorder because it hadn't helped in the past. They're came a time when I was 17 that I decided I wanted to start focusing on that more, the whole eating thing, and so we tried different things slowly. Unfortunately  this was just prior to my 18th birthday, and being 18 I would have to transfer from the young peoples part of the hospital to the adults, seeing new people ect.

I was nervous but overall optimistic about the change. As we had been focusing on the eating disorder it was decided that's the service I would attend. I started seeing a dietician from the adults service every week, then every 2 weeks, then every month. And it sucked.

I wasnt completely comfortable being open with her and ended up falling in to a sea of lies I couldn't control. I'm a perfectionist, so when she would ask me to do something and I couldn't, she would ask me why, I did my best to explain that it was more of a psychological thing, but shes a dietician and didn't really help with that. It made me feel invalid so I would like, saying I had ate this and that and made all this progress when in reality I'm probably the worse I've ever been eating wise. Going from talking to someone weekly about the thoughts I was struggling with to nothing, it was just hard and i don't think i developed the best coping mechanisms.

I'm 19 now and finally started the group last week at the hospital, it was the whole reason I'd been seeing the dietician up to this point, just till the group started. I've waited almost a year for it, and I don't think it's going to help. The optimism I had to get better and eat again is gone, i ran out of steam. I've been feeling okay and honestly don't really want to get better. 

Now I know how that sounds, but hear me out. I've been feeling better overall this past yearish, but  since November more notably. I've been happier, less anxious and I've been looking after myself more, showering, going outside etc. And so I'm scared to change anything in my life right now, I don't want to get better from my eating disorder because im scared it will bring back all those horrible feelings I had for so long. It scares me to death and I don't feel like I can tell anybody because I know how backwards my logic is. I just don't know what to do. Am I just lying to myself? I'm just so scared. I can't go back to that, I just don't know what to do.",5.680663582032,5.665098412030075,6.444360902255642,79.22990360516678,67.13533834586467,9.587430113745905,32.389627915943706,9.333382268041843,2.771448043184886,2624,102,515,46,39,867,261,665,0.157,0.723,0.12,-0.9496,3,0,2,0,0,1,66.0,2,0,1,9,35,30,3,7,35,1,68,9,0,6,3,101,130,48,1,13,15,1,11,2,1,8,1,3,2,2,32,37,8,4,22,0,0,13,16,14,0,0,42,21,63,16,78,73,23,83,1,3,7,0,27,22,2,5,52,363,95,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344221144153442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044408003802809036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165560267337545,0.12058551468594075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04391885223157277,0.0,0.0997872404355322,0.0,0.0,0.08207626510966166,0.04456160876891499,0.09760132468137746,0.0,0.0454138250078015,0.0,0.11201676321402296,0.2360065466789677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061040908699483476,0.0,0.0,0.1129164830691593,0.04597341378527048,0.05595728899598137,0.05767386504983003,0.059858842742961875,0.04261149517869984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193477459868674,0.0,0.0,0.05576015067258951,0.2446659602965515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822748763487753,0.0,0.0,0.0472698601753472,0.05514533814309034,0.0595215081696986,0.0,0.04827609919250618,0.1348992415422711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158832622881992,0.03812744286550388,0.051243440780291284,0.05846407939921635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04123342600762722,0.0,0.11153420869908884,0.0,0.151656623510962,0.0,0.04268475719333261,0.05884046557115714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561783387968732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060151717677329776,0.0,0.10731808838055204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06158165967766701,0.0,0.0,0.05764861349111305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732273023270234,0.04350356389274005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037696714622325864,0.052147641329117686,0.0,0.0,0.047230651873157295,0.0896344916300441,0.0,0.0,0.04537315146697583,0.0,0.10099971509516342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519863557244152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051544949058609235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051209825727973834,0.0,0.056002696488304166,0.05683716538358982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05926092018840212,0.057794363918388915,0.203790303725656,0.11099983537473368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504517739442849,0.0,0.0,0.05429634043733517,0.0575417421233205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838020542303502,0.05487311088775771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045577573873882914,0.0,0.04244185947629585,0.21373018487249587,0.0540131535758373,0.21264436652762625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829620916925973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904402283771185,0.08217346037701996,0.0,0.0,0.15110186311970966,0.0,0.0,0.089239195280018,0.0,0.11158754336582866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869002979674096,0.04664761517201387,0.0,0.06103309289097057,0.0,0.10636970232586017,0.10259176527133143,0.0,0.04236971205577465,0.06224079599523862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03623463565869838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443678902688296,0.0,0.21405043603686047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0481580028265962,0.11917109866768567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438845287121157,0.1895621074091307,0.0,0.0,0.06873688768456672
mentalhealth,SmoothBuddha,2019/02/12,"Am I doomed to have these thoughts forever? I'm having a really hard time at the moment guys. My whole life has fallen down around me recently and I think it's because of a lot of stuff I've tried to ignore for too long. 
I've had quite severe depression for as long as I can really remember, always moody and isolated. 
I was suicidal in highschool and still am today. 
Some of my most troubling thoughts though are those that one of my old best friends is planning to murder me one day. I've had this thought since maybe 2010/11, I've forgotten exactly when they started because it's been so long. I tend to tell myself I'm pretty sane otherwise but this can tend to slip out and I'll think it about other people close to me, other close friends and people who I've only had minimal encounters with. Sometimes I feel like I could possibly be more intuitive or even bordering on having some extra sensory perception of just knowing who's dangerous but that's just more crazy thinking. 
I don't trust anyone. Im scared people will deceive me constantly. I lost my girlfriend recently due to me being to sad to deal with and that I made her feel like I was always expecting her to lie and cheat(which I did think all the time)
All the time I was falling in love with my ex I constantly thought how I should push her away now because this old friend will torture her as well to punish me and I couldnt let that happen. Its completely fucked up. 
My mind feels so clear when I have these thoughts and I can't shake them. I'm so convinced it must be real. It destroys my mind. I can't function properly because I'm terrified of my thoughts. It's been years and I've only been able to confide in my father and a couple friends but they didn't know what to do and no one ever mentioned it again. 

I faced trauma from my brother at a young age. He is six years older than I and we shared a bedroom for years. I could have been as young as 4 or 5 when he started bullying. He would smother my face with a pillow all of the time, put me in sleeping bags and drag me around the house, tie me to chairs, chase me and yell at me. It happened for years. 
I figure this is part of the problem and I confronted him about it and was so mad we ended up fighting and he only talked down to me and then threatened to stab me. I've written him out of my life. 
Ive also been cheated on several times by past girlfriends which really shook me up and must contribute to me ruining my relationships.

I feel like my mind's broken. I'm a broken person inside. I cry nearly everyday and sometimes for no reason. There's so much more that's happened that may have contributed but I just want ways to fix my thoughts. I've tried meditation retreats and exercise and eating well but the paranoid thoughts and the worry that all these things are going to happen stop me from living my life and I lose everything that's important to me. Help me.",3.0426153846153814,4.9183949111111165,4.040692307692306,86.9318076923077,75.1025641025641,7.346666666666668,26.22991452991453,8.174460898885233,1.6621288888888883,2313,85,464,39,50,747,272,585,0.235,0.6729999999999999,0.092,-0.9984,0,0,0,0,2,0,41.0,2,0,3,5,28,39,11,3,15,0,49,10,3,3,9,99,87,49,2,10,10,3,5,3,6,7,4,1,2,2,34,37,1,2,22,1,0,7,7,25,2,4,25,6,75,14,69,48,16,70,1,6,0,2,37,22,1,7,43,319,109,1,0.06556193560888468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05242985621955015,0.10910556496750004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04584242976866339,0.0,0.0,0.11672804525887374,0.0,0.0,0.0615975966714939,0.0,0.0,0.1598637896931618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880320657153455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874044211789171,0.14169832217774722,0.0,0.1046917415208802,0.07254303474328583,0.07201670771503448,0.042282024664123286,0.06759147679782809,0.056468399071087035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708622768305704,0.0,0.0,0.05806841513600925,0.0,0.0,0.043303040140327265,0.059304524249886234,0.0,0.0,0.05892284026725341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326003382384137,0.14051237969664407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20261195527204506,0.060610953019458125,0.0,0.0,0.03726035888192816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491662388562876,0.2319048125492773,0.0,0.058730616629022736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043944783452345336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564967117868028,0.0,0.0,0.07081814094223113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206225043580365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670415211171233,0.13892500205201694,0.09609075023165152,0.0,0.057892390292987074,0.17406074970019855,0.0,0.07334703585269338,0.0715685974501178,0.05573841313766965,0.059172206595884076,0.06203628869441152,0.0,0.0,0.06586577644220988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985965960740474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04819556632552578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137592445433752,0.0,0.1332793929744304,0.1495884190935689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099718730043718,0.06258628602632567,0.1363571734009551,0.05724615333193466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391123153717663,0.0,0.06670005845554855,0.0,0.06273391804489417,0.0,0.06590785361505205,0.0,0.06973318869821896,0.0,0.07462383605726645,0.1260019642810766,0.06740858913088968,0.1294690039258561,0.07038898297448143,0.07426889250933841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563893491663443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813265155001312,0.0,0.054233510634018066,0.0,0.06560928365469859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968486146307925,0.0,0.09281015093879848,0.0,0.052357846467060036,0.05481271383817269,0.0,0.0,0.0750527307165059,0.07171411642337734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052696200400439513,0.057304021481451514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043556436805181134,0.1680377642529645,0.0644142688596004,0.4163908282734542,0.19114845944330272,0.0,0.062145049001306525,0.0,0.0,0.0890245013599043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03867012827329907,0.05204001282942231,0.0,0.0,0.11789610756864727,0.0,0.0,0.0731975597556193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658132806291002,0.0,0.04657331799272379,0.0,0.0,0.16887894799851055
mentalhealth,tuntematon_55,2019/02/12,"what have I become I'm normal human who does normal human things like drinking etc. but I don't think so anymore. I have started to feel anything but pain and I usually do nothing but suffer and every time I suffer I become little more blocky? I should go to hospital, even I usually see hallusinations of roblox, but I'm scared of doctors will laugh at me. I forgot to tell but I can't say a word except 'oof'. I need euthanizion or something in a moment.",2.258522588522588,4.5339305054945065,4.302783882783881,82.22277167277169,79.10989010989009,6.242246642246642,23.2979242979243,7.3871296695380915,1.2174459096459094,360,12,66,5,9,123,61,91,0.092,0.7509999999999999,0.157,0.7096,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,2,0,7,3,0,0,0,17,16,9,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,2,3,2,1,1,2,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,3,12,2,8,13,2,9,0,2,1,0,5,3,0,1,6,44,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18064777125346185,0.0,0.0,0.1498971795641497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023494512827011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18644228539916205,0.15940414834693353,0.0,0.0,0.178441523358138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20314980343744754,0.12031096542741727,0.0,0.15347255832878035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921025097647166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352228699716742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899121856534116,0.1825661105298411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506484517277073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35694439029087555,0.17478162685400433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19382464462119792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485613142643142,0.18236788003466986,0.0,0.14515311385930085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402310092325994,0.0,0.0,0.1289295026945743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921058024945373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101498983969558,0.11671689551140435,0.0,0.0,0.10621543254728844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4012336807740106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NyTrate42,2019/02/12,"Im in a depressed for as long as i can rember. I don't know I just don't know anymore I never talk to anyone about my mental health but I know I'm in a really bad place and I've been this was for a long time.

I just feel so empty all the time. I feel I don't know how to interact with people anymore. I hardly sleep or eat.

Im 18 I live with my dad by myself I think I'm just gonna leave not say anything just go into the woods for a couple months maybe I'll be better then",-1.9963392857142848,-0.23220224107142684,1.331785714285715,99.7632142857143,93.73214285714286,3.9142857142857146,12.464285714285715,5.288315135182226,-1.3865071428571425,367,5,95,2,14,131,69,112,0.12,0.841,0.039,-0.7807,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,6,0,7,3,1,1,2,21,18,8,0,0,7,1,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,7,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,4,14,1,14,14,1,12,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,7,55,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274367363418053,0.1154301478555934,0.0,0.13584956770504902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783773891856632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600284712746048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826616361429195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218608583439135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892152574824265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694224897983698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382069747606317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788229584140408,0.0,0.0,0.17547592876840765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35663678915238856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629020653830036,0.0,0.0,0.17479947867726775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577166186337726,0.2921872186260597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658484585506171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636523368644654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317679905493481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732249095217124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444803984918996,0.0,0.17247701110445013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575664975624856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128094131540907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520261581200732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268777929848516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577877345793542,0.0,0.0,0.19252290986540924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bhangra_jock,2019/02/12,"Is damage done to memory by depression permanent? Success in fixing it? I can’t seem to memorize anything that I study and I’ve had that problem since I started feeling depressed when I was 11. Is this something that can be fixed? If so, any tips on doing so without medication? Have you had any success fixing it?

If it’s relevant, I also have autism and two years ago had my head slammed in a car door really hard and everything was fuzzy for about three hours after that. 

Thanks in advance.",3.282725146198832,5.658312547368425,4.4256140350877216,82.13374269005851,76.15789473684211,7.590643274853799,28.450292397660817,8.515128840125781,2.3964152046783638,392,17,71,8,9,128,70,95,0.149,0.738,0.113,-0.5794,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,5,7,0,0,1,0,14,2,1,0,0,10,18,9,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,4,0,2,6,2,7,3,11,11,0,12,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,3,6,52,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984665585072667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904617954039967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045081826946888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184243862203364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856753326235817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291190295786315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012194996938991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132064136697934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005630624933385,0.0,0.2297775641476121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22048830861719035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255474187339672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423420095801315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434308105203894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038226722376684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520559815046334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723628344229965,0.0,0.0,0.1584717577573998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20612947477861676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21870974115443487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158236911017638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441789689319244
mentalhealth,sspookems,2019/02/12,"Is there something wrong with me, or am I just lazy? I'm not sure where to post this, so hopefully this is okay.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me, and this has happened more than just tonight. I was doing so good this semester though, which is why I think I feel so down about it as to try and seek some kind of answer. 

Tonight, had to some homework to do that was due tomorrow. It was really easy homework, just about 20 rough thumbnails for a newsletter we're designing in Layout class. But I just .. couldn't bring myself to do it. I woke up around 1pm, and thought ""I'll do it after I get up"" and then sat on my phone in bed until my boyfriend came home at 3pm. Got up to eat lunch, and thought I'd do it after lunch. I opened up all my materials, and did a tiny bit like double check due dates, nothing that required getting up off the couch. Got hungry again, and thought ""well I'll eat something and do it after. I can watch a youtube video while I eat"". I then proceeded to watch youtube video after youtube video, so aware of the time passing but just feeling unable to force myself to do my homework. I wasn't even enjoying the videos I was watching. At some point I switched to instagram, then to reddit, going past my ""I'll stop at 10pm and do homework"" deadline in my head quickly.

I was so hyper aware of every second passing, and every second made me feel more helpless and anxious. I could've fixed it all so easily, I could've just sat up and done my homework so I could sleep in time to get up at 6:30 tomorrow, but I just .. didn't. I got a headache, and was thirsty, but didn't even do the simple task of sitting up to take a drink of water. I didn't stop until my phone finally died a couple minutes ago at 2am. Boyfriend went to bed forever ago at 8-9pm ish, so he wasn't there for this. I decided to just skip the homework so I can maybe get in bed by 3 (still have to shower because I didn't do that either), but I wanted answers so I'm typing this up. 

I'm just so frustrated, especially because I have a lot on my plate this week meeting deadlines anyways, I don't really have time to make up for work I could've easily done earlier in the week. I have procrastination issues, but the way I feel whenever this happens goes beyond that, I feel so not in control of my body it makes me feel sick.

Stuff like this happens in other ways too all the time. The most common is laying in bed like 3 hours after I woke up either on my phone wasting away or staring at the walls. I'll lay there until I ache, and usually only get up because I feel ashamed enough or my boyfriend gets me to get up. Another one that makes me sad when I think about it is I haven't drawn in nearly a year (and have been struggling with drawing at all for like 5 years) even though I really enjoy drawing and used to all the time. I'll do random, none sense things I'm not even enjoying (nothing useful like the chores I also ignore) late into the night when I got only 3 hours the night before and have to wake up early again in the morning. I don't have problems falling asleep, I just never want to unless its a nap in the middle of the day.

When my boyfriend asks me about my behavior, or asks if there is any way he can help because he's obviously concerned, I get super defensive. He asks why I can get up for work and school (although barely, I'm often 5 min late to everything) but can't get up otherwise and I don't have an answer. I don't like that this is a problem because I can't explain it. How do I tell someone that I feel like I *can't* do anything but sit there mindlessly staring either at the walls, or a screen?

I graduate from college next year, and I'm terrified I wont be able to land an internship or a job because I can't force myself to do the work involved with making a portfolio. I've had bouts of bad depression a couple times in my life, where I really knew I was depressed, but I'm not sure what this is. I get anxious about doing things, but I'm not sure it's anxiety. I'm just really lost.

I know I should find a therapist to get real answers, but I'd have to find a good one and I don't think I could put in the energy to do that when there are so many other things I have to force myself to do that take my energy. I'm also still technically on my parent's health insurance, and I don't really want them to find out and definitely can't pay for one right now.

Sorry for the long post, I mostly just wanted to vent, and wanted to know by people who know more than me if this behavior does point towards anything. I'm going to go to bed, so I wont be around to reply until tomorrow. Thanks for reading. (FYI I read and reread this post for no reason to waste like another 15 min! Yay!)",5.10216982002769,4.490598919796955,6.0696723580987575,83.44407475772958,68.43147208121827,9.194093216428245,29.685740655283798,8.575989854853784,1.9665878172588824,3676,116,802,50,55,1225,358,985,0.112,0.7979999999999999,0.09,-0.9784,3,0,3,0,0,0,109.0,0,0,1,7,65,39,2,2,39,2,81,15,5,10,11,150,161,78,1,14,41,1,9,8,0,3,3,0,15,0,44,35,7,6,28,8,3,10,30,15,1,5,35,15,94,24,131,118,21,145,0,5,6,0,18,63,0,17,72,528,138,20,0.05005905761541879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887486683707339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006442057842206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034041875776714664,0.10498257327881157,0.038295042058129336,0.11310497272234228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238867821870782,0.08912634882850097,0.1403953841830877,0.0,0.047032132473095824,0.0,0.0417972221406412,0.18309322134590925,0.0,0.04259657100691125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05465152573378513,0.05560432800400501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05725422602692608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614548972375902,0.1998404208166052,0.1107787902259358,0.0,0.032283950879434885,0.0,0.08623158594380906,0.0,0.0519533984988617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380701866128929,0.10245559214830552,0.0,0.04903881878083643,0.0,0.15366873959402244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517243881463134,0.0,0.13225414174707045,0.0,0.0843538301408832,0.0,0.04498985315806992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20249090909394196,0.03576220076272785,0.0,0.05483725075028592,0.13725921529259685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138454979117641,0.0,0.08534914816283384,0.08397432498382278,0.16014720542796926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328011779802148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051375035151891374,0.05321043737812319,0.0,0.0,0.033553531119968116,0.0,0.05021331635434023,0.04971993935720834,0.09859617624384104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224865039902274,0.049675890443998214,0.0,0.0,0.05212880521112876,0.08253344672393514,0.0,0.1129375948185331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03535819281598337,0.1956506157617958,0.0,0.0,0.04430069072296902,0.0,0.0,0.05464537478854812,0.04255842065578831,0.0,0.047367090693085916,0.13365923869297966,0.05075202734225767,0.050291051769344924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038608631276023216,0.0,0.05323837568162458,0.09395406895701576,0.0,0.0960660317644884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176393893640497,0.07614433812810943,0.0,0.0,0.05558465939185981,0.0,0.04778703479435322,0.03470464752736314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464397992783843,0.0,0.14382821878188154,0.0,0.0,0.09579951502910616,0.0,0.05032317930798513,0.0,0.0,0.10014520861468884,0.05697816688877678,0.19241468486319627,0.05146904855292304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04275016168552375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066243883234043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009520966815128,0.0,0.04241487706976233,0.07707581643325642,0.0,0.05603701660505051,0.0,0.0,0.07995445615118857,0.08370322732542118,0.0,0.05233259600631264,0.0573056444450511,0.0,0.0,0.1887202775116791,0.0,0.07527636280041443,0.0,0.04375382279815483,0.04608765460577885,0.0,0.05812242419302985,0.09977104058795204,0.0962274684714164,0.09836553988686204,0.11922390028693775,0.17513903435896955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033986814158026894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646990633785101,0.05513297967299419,0.0,0.1476306458351714,0.11920364963334715,0.08030871300656238,0.0,0.04500910464739805,0.046405247929730574,0.09034102661917334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933077043357077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946344219988703,0.0,0.09670917556096888
mentalhealth,unclenickeltoof,2019/02/12,"Dont give up I could go into detail to describe what the hell I've been burning in for the past 4 years but I don't have enough time or space in this post to do so ......simply out I fucked up big time in one of the worst ways imaginable I lost my mind and made descions that alters my life indefinitely I have no peace of mind and everyday it just gets darker I know for a fact that am a victim of ""thought broadcasting"" and if you Google that it should pretty much explain most of what I would say .... I should kill myself but I'm too afraid so I just exist to continue  suffering I wouldn't have wished this on my worst enemies no one can give me answers as to why or how I'm just entertainment for people I'm gonna stop here but I hope if you read this and your going through a tough time just think you could be me and I would trade anything to just have a normal life again",3.767258064516131,4.071077607526885,4.602311827956992,89.67346774193554,71.31182795698925,7.920430107526883,24.10215053763441,7.793537801064563,0.8516537634408596,689,16,160,8,12,223,110,186,0.241,0.6809999999999999,0.078,-0.9889,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,4,0,1,11,12,4,1,7,0,18,3,0,2,1,43,36,16,1,12,12,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,0,0,10,7,0,1,6,2,1,2,5,10,0,2,4,1,22,2,22,23,5,23,1,2,0,1,8,10,2,7,9,111,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890174046825206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25012930044379905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18358143617354056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185145340033574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481156830279046,0.0818381679651818,0.30052757816669656,0.17804475054152732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557930671267464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732994453415546,0.0,0.08608549264756693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22127955890703374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17099155056439186,0.0,0.0,0.14821697746013626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163243946777077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514875112753907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347437921332682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21228724026029985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495310299907287,0.10859476241963892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001824789742613,0.15935964688981127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668283517938975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456676978617835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095842679275554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003688729649013,0.0,0.1243550172561614,0.27401491128272465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433389506194828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134363869738475,0.0,0.18012878251586986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225457572800659,0.0,0.0,0.10087131159750387
mentalhealth,Eeeffoc,2019/02/12,"1k scattered words going thru my mind 1. I can't fully pay attention to someone. I tend to listen to last few words while the rest of the time my mind wanders. 
2. I often feel when ppl ask me questions I answer yet theyre so confused because I cant answer with a proper direct question. My mind has 1k words yet I can't put into sentences. 
3. I can't let others finish talking because. I. Interrupt. All
 The. Time. 
4. I am so hyper and so forgetful.
5. I get soooo oddly hyper and happy that it annoys me. 
6. I went to school and even have my degree yet I still can't remember shit of like history class or even simple english, grammar etc. Like tf is a compound word 😭. I understand all ... and I went blank here. 
7. I have so many, way too many ideas that are great and everyone at work seems to think I'm great yet I never really stick to my goals. Once I think of an idea I'm like done, hate following up.

Dunno what's wrong with me😭. ",-0.7714178190092759,1.3932127614213208,1.9141326798529648,93.4384771573604,96.51269035532994,4.544652546823035,17.453001925433227,6.311591054244273,-0.045436758270610784,722,21,155,9,29,248,125,197,0.095,0.784,0.121,0.7146,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,15,11,3,1,6,0,13,1,1,0,3,36,29,12,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,13,0,1,5,6,5,0,0,3,2,24,6,15,25,5,21,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,7,15,91,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909908218394305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532016770552873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037145480754536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208143169957704,0.16828915340151154,0.0,0.0,0.1217333793626522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441579676213953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655972161468758,0.0,0.07240270234325392,0.0,0.0,0.28091148384159004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561657167350452,0.0,0.1257782516720946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876316164762052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384563214178097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13027215635425102,0.0,0.1867193498862563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25832130780972234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385904233437394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825648990046833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356737434881932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280692631677204,0.285427794890862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161383830124476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431606884830098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893265689411634,0.0,0.11597752640300367,0.0,0.0,0.13077128255352988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794314127946923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173948096154692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239695555009756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326182292267374,0.0,0.0,0.14857253582876725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262486400946152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112188051562856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23619675828124576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927465991055724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928871922562935,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Vzi_3301,2019/02/12,Help me please. I am beyond paranoid.Im paranoid about people plotting against me planning things.Just random people not even friends or family.I think I may be kidnapped and tortured.I sometimes think I can hear satanic laughing or mocking voices that tease my every move inside my house.What is wrong with me?,3.9332142857142856,7.1701101785714325,3.544285714285717,83.90071428571429,81.14285714285714,4.628571428571429,29.42857142857143,6.18269132825596,1.7140285714285717,254,12,38,2,7,76,45,56,0.208,0.657,0.135,-0.5352,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,2,8,2,4,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,4,0,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532115185660566,0.0,0.23640165455266296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167762402435025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162352601956525,0.0,0.1880675781905089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030757057524815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982132755448985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890391737960616,0.0,0.0,0.3079937601808453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27750185468295097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35957004318695845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067713559166685,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BryBlaineA,2019/02/12,"Want to tell your story? I'm working on writing a book about the stories of real people. But, recently, it's been difficult to get stories and entries, so this is my last hope. I want the stories to be authentic, true and from a place of emotion. I want it raw. You can choose to give me your name to put in the book, your initials or just anonymous. I will respect this.

If you would like to send me your story, you can so here, or to the following social media:

Instagram: \_supernatural\_boi\_

Snapchat: bry\_blaine15

Twitter: @KpopBruhh",2.3865538461538454,5.283417840000006,3.1040000000000028,86.50930769230774,85.6,5.476923076923078,27.69230769230769,7.010146845296331,1.6809538461538471,424,20,76,6,13,133,68,100,0.024,0.828,0.14800000000000002,0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,7,0,1,5,5,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,0,1,17,15,8,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,13,4,13,11,0,8,0,0,0,0,13,3,0,4,3,53,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888055935730379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341396065138335,0.2462949262194329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550075044814309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928291008063565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543351802287928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799590414378652,0.0,0.2682457609235481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581014486100813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29223406818429554,0.0,0.0,0.2535064914914494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26172103039052097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22440802035416385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4543077453365921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691472872345102,0.0,0.0,0.18238556076653506,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ZonalBread,2019/02/12,How and when to tell a partner about your mental health struggles? Hi guys. I (18f) have C-PTSD. It is a very difficult illness to have and I haven’t even begun unpacking or working through my traumas but that’s another story. I haven’t dated since freshman year of high school (so I pretty much haven’t really dated at all) but recently I’ve been seeing somebody and it looks like a relationship is where it’s headed. They’re very nice and I love spending time with them the only problem is I have no clue if or how I should let them know about my C-PTSD and mental health struggles in general. how do I know when it’s appropriate time to tell them? how do I tell them without completely over sharing and scaring them off? ,2.210000000000001,4.636591666666668,3.4776111111111128,87.22850000000004,80.25,6.34,24.87777777777778,7.554174236665415,1.377689444444445,576,22,112,9,15,187,88,144,0.165,0.7170000000000001,0.118,-0.4849,0,0,0,1,0,0,14.0,0,1,5,1,11,10,0,3,4,0,14,5,1,4,1,23,19,18,0,3,6,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,1,2,17,4,13,16,2,15,0,0,2,1,15,6,0,3,10,76,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828889322329428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827387219197888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340512282826643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002585518208618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513546132554947,0.3006410157531097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941566955019728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554390484230484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446092813402038,0.0,0.0690895935478758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875533459904238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276350853703904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28503176015388376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039583543747831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755460905163912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438727427105302,0.0,0.1353177352327452,0.3306196796959505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059586357091476,0.0,0.13963301623811245,0.15182979253147896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158388783643702,0.14312236303235815,0.11269167677914453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698226511955635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295681178272057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708161700206308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492371228327038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23336899011903636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632171221431624,0.0,0.1029538423155698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106842631482552
mentalhealth,PoweredbyPosies,2019/02/12,"The only reason I haven't given in to my mental health problems is because I feel guilty about everyone who counts on me. I am not good. Mental health-wise, I am not good. Someone I deeply care about just chose to leave my life and I am not handling it well. I feel horrible and it is all I can do to hold on in my college classes and at my job. I know this sounds overdramatize but the pain I am feeling right now at the loss of this person in my life, and the thought of not having them in my life forever makes me want to die. I know that isn't normal. I wish I handled things better. I don't have any plans to harm myself, but the pain does make me wish I could. The only thing keeping me from slipping into a very bad place is the guilt and embarrassment I would feel to those around me like my boss and my parents and my teachers. I am not good and I feel like I need to let go and just let everything out but I can't. I am crying hard every day and having nightmares every time I sleep about losing this person. There has been a pattern of some emotional trauma with this individual and a lot of history and I love them and I don't know how to handle the prospect of this being a conclusion to all of that. Despite everything I saw a future with them and I am hurting badly. I just don't want to exist right now. It is so much.",2.461564935064935,3.7559266499999993,3.955064935064936,89.37538961038963,75.35714285714286,6.662337662337662,23.084415584415584,7.1686216300943375,0.6821071428571424,1042,29,229,11,22,346,136,280,0.224,0.67,0.105,-0.9897,2,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,3,5,13,21,0,2,13,0,29,8,1,5,2,60,51,19,1,9,11,1,6,2,0,1,6,1,0,2,14,19,0,2,11,0,0,1,11,12,1,0,4,8,45,9,33,42,5,20,0,3,1,1,8,14,0,2,7,170,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985270635696332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144203325076578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715327970689603,0.06261678562463649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084695143831804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472926213284747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201307310511256,0.0,0.11283242457944336,0.06624550760996377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660650762581224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989042880575289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554548604529355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730910295767767,0.09815277734396123,0.18463512541475186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596900451680021,0.07338275143658035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058377795469126574,0.2584684479386796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201639566085013,0.0,0.0,0.21837181250993548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996322953433976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193314290215566,0.09130171188080506,0.0,0.0,0.16935566819084105,0.0,0.0,0.10876500056861094,0.0,0.2100750677209808,0.2176612249237935,0.1003670090112668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491672076599305,0.0,0.08732835054636952,0.09270825826068012,0.0,0.13713197847197225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20703396684508105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551056935296678,0.0761651247791792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064319102041756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624544684010575,0.2186013425472727,0.0,0.11405772454840105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938121536595364,0.10731989793564216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828858192716003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561263893392286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544359250463082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279357088875414,0.0,0.08703380426373028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648439443292978,0.0,0.0,0.08154772034401167,0.059896501292326314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475425288902894,0.12117311302647985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923570660719905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23624445408990774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296890619635185,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_rant_here,2019/02/12,"I want benzos from my psychiatrist but I’m afraid he will think I’m a junkie. I’d say I’m very self-aware of my mental health and I tend to get help when I can - which is why I got a psychiatrist, because I know what I can get from them, which is meds. Psychiatry is mostly known for prescribing meds and diagnosis but since I have been diagnosed by a previous psychiatrist, I just need meds. I feel that if I’m aware of what I want (which is benzos), the psychiatrist will focus on other treatments that aren’t related to meds (because he may sense that I am a junkie just wanting pills). But, I do need pills and I can provide symptoms of my illness to prove that I am in need of them. I constantly research the best treatments, so I know what I want. Do any of you know what I’m getting at? I have my first appointment with one so I’m concerned on how I should approach the situation. Should I purposely act not self-aware and clueless as to why I can do for help to persuade him in getting what I truly want without the intention of junkie behaviour? I am 18 if that helps with the situation.  ",4.765733590733589,5.137618481981987,5.849240669240673,81.36972972972977,69.13513513513513,9.405920205920207,30.72200772200773,9.424239791934726,2.5052332046332046,861,33,182,17,14,287,104,222,0.017,0.8440000000000001,0.139,0.9723,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,2,2,6,2,0,1,9,0,23,6,0,2,1,36,48,14,0,12,9,0,1,0,0,5,6,1,0,0,14,6,0,0,7,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,2,2,31,1,25,41,2,10,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,4,3,122,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806659767556966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461985618427928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244848487389288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281865706688926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039726441683007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997806596113259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089849803417036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24789716647309915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487161368013394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608799623316105,0.0,0.0,0.2385263707982519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955720988663744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.527042335705283,0.0,0.11954151834734285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26386669202056784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038028991758454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433174652638338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474940084895112,0.0,0.0,0.09812406578518353,0.2666687218096523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329207122758365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600719758500461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787429793421754,0.34982708718754724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214073019981254,0.0,0.0,0.11434588519546655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Incurshio,2019/02/12,"My friend is reportedly completely unfeeling, no one knows what she has and shes scared. Shes been recommended to see a psychiatrist but her dad is refusing. My friend has been reportedly unfeeling for a while now and after taking numerous medications will no improvement, her doctor has told her they don't know what's wrong and that she should see a psychologist. This would be okay except that her stubborn dad is refusing and she already has a therapist. Is there anything that can be done to help her.",8.685161290322581,8.593629989247315,8.666150537634412,66.05922580645165,60.935483870967744,13.461505376344087,36.879569892473114,12.688352899677879,4.987070537634409,411,17,72,14,5,134,58,93,0.159,0.6509999999999999,0.19,0.5384,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,2,6,1,1,4,1,20,2,0,0,0,13,26,6,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,2,13,3,5,17,0,3,0,0,2,0,19,0,0,0,3,57,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553452911164366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041475559325186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242608651329256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368380933500864,0.0,0.2367929302894389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35754362131852113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550962478251907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25433245483055994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331016952169224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679626521290785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23166236620216105,0.0,0.3687767145383782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397694118286192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686623316816374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22110364309327327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437324983690166,0.25298930682631904,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shadowx1124,2019/02/12,"These are my struggles. Hello I am Shadow, and I would like to share a little story about my experience with OCD and how it has effected my life over the years, in the hopes that someone might not feel alone in this. 
Back as far as I can remember since this incident I had in 5th grade involving kids beating me up and my cousin taking their side, I have had this little voice  and feeling of reassurance when I complete a certain task like flicking on and off the light a few times, touching something a few times, minor things such as that. 

However, over the years it started getting worse with more stress and drama, and those tasks became increasingly complex and hard to complete correctly, as there is so many tasks and thoights filling up my mind that I cannot tell which task to do and just lose concentration and end up failing said task resulting in a series of..... setbacks. 
Whenever I don't complete these tasks correctly or at all, I get a feeling like something bad is going to happen to my loved ones and those I care about, then the anxiety kicks in. I see visions, and scenarios that are all too real to deny, it tells me that I can avoid doing this by completing a task, or a set of tasks until I feel better. 
And I feel as though by doing this, it protects them amd it seems as though that whenever I dont, something bad happens to them, like my grandmother going to the hospital or other things that which are equally as bad. It has controlled me for years now and I now have the will to rebel against it, however it had proven difficult, and i got into a series of complications to try and bypass my ocd and alleviate the anxiety and crowded thoughts for just a few hours, then sfter that the flood gates open, then I am a wreck for the next few days to weeks, causing for me not to be myself and for my ocd and anxiety to take even more advantage of me in my vulnerable state. Eventhough this happens like a cycle, I still feel compelled to do the same thing, just to help alleviate it, just for awhile, just to have a break from it all for just awhile. 
This cycle has been going on for about a year now and has caused me to be behind in my dreams and my goals, and has caused countless setbacks. However, I always feel compelled to do this... I do not know why to be certain. I can only theorize about it now, and hope to become better. 

Thank you for reading my complex story, and I hope that my struggles with ocd and other illnesses could let others know that they are not alone in this, and give them hope. As that is what I hope and strive to do is help others, and give them some hope for a better tomorrow. 

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mentalhealth,Matterhorns,2019/02/12,"I need an opinion I feel like everyone except me is in on some kind of plan. I’m not sure what it is but I don’t trust people when they try and get close to me. 

The only way I feel like I can explain this is that it kind of feels like i’m living in the Truman Show. Not quite like that but something similar. 

Does anyone know something about this?",0.9459428571428604,2.683578146666669,2.5912380952380967,95.568,80.86666666666667,5.352380952380952,18.714285714285715,6.18269132825596,-0.2767714285714287,271,6,63,2,7,89,51,75,0.019,0.778,0.203,0.9379,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,2,2,8,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,16,14,4,0,1,5,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,8,8,8,14,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,5,38,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802540470499464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274448696331418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18862243056984804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994313691770181,0.4230639207293624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031324073540555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111196784164791,0.10848488322442253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857551401197457,0.0,0.17430621892976558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636825721354305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013021916422584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368510507119855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099572740801968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30393354247608145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18604545866492106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402041395786388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668549568339246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bstevenson1,2019/02/12,"Anyone on ssris get brain zaps without discontinuation? I'm currently switching between Ssri medications to find the right dose for me. I started with Lexapro which I was on for 2 years with no problems, and it worked great for a while, then stopped working entirely. My anxiety came back. Id get brain zaps if I withdrew from the medicine. I was switched to 150mg effexor xr, and when I switched it was crazy. Id get brain zaps all the time. Dozens per hour all day long for two months while I was supposidly getting acclimated to the medicine. My doctor increased my dose to 300mg. I felt fine for a day, but after that my brain zaps started again. Even more frequently, I'm talking several per minute all day long. It feels like there's a battery hooked to your temples and it's just shocking the shit out of you all day. It's scary to drive. I told my doctor, he took me back down to 150 mg, which I stayed on for about month and a half with frequent brain zaps, however not as intense as the 300 mg. *I'd like to note when I wake up in the morning, for about 15 minutes there are no zaps * he switched my dose from 150mg effexor xr to 50 mg zoloft 5 days ago, and guilt shit, the zaps are even worse than the 300mg effexor. It got so bad that I broke down and cried because I didn't think my brain would ever feel normal again. I am taking in mind that I could be experiencing effects from coming off the effexor and switching to zoloft, so I'll give it a few more days before I mention it to my doctor. I'm starting to think this kind of medicine isn't right for me to be on.",3.702636963252118,4.701572167182668,4.317297079014672,89.12266523085206,71.91021671826627,7.474976443666711,28.28496432898102,7.7425588080867325,1.454989069861354,1242,46,273,15,23,395,161,323,0.124,0.8059999999999999,0.07,-0.9393,2,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,0,3,16,12,2,1,15,0,13,18,9,1,5,36,35,18,0,5,5,0,3,2,0,1,9,0,0,0,14,13,0,1,7,0,0,5,6,7,0,3,10,4,28,5,48,21,8,51,0,1,0,0,8,13,2,1,34,157,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749956705556292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668821117964692,0.0,0.0,0.0611316274238825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344533322681829,0.07299865292611141,0.053295242417389525,0.0,0.07439471198140901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5855907697724964,0.0,0.09999423790005472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531140300932136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980407200609058,0.0,0.09603545376077684,0.33830261504962444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684585113562427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549061991428115,0.0790835498748555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841235635171976,0.06245851632359791,0.08394450406085077,0.0,0.0799075257867601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18270989794005826,0.08386881772324635,0.0,0.0,0.06992408626335359,0.0963895793465154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609888027065246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104271442383656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542572127591284,0.0,0.0,0.15474189818603135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880744213728189,0.0,0.0,0.08827726613470857,0.0,0.13956824719195035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566078902942621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365670240678143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932591476610604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876865285680564,0.17948698634260446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856457739143422,0.09318651933283498,0.0,0.07309364746494239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573490773043987,0.07027124229213477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204054899895784,0.0,0.0,0.0509799173573683,0.0,0.0,0.08354111457979907,0.0971356248232872,0.0,0.0,0.08540436423037151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842773853012009,0.0,0.12729711938223656,0.0,0.08909650939495048,0.062106278785671924,0.0,0.0,0.056300707558913414
mentalhealth,Eden987,2019/02/13,"Where should i draw self worth from? My therapist told me that its not good that i try to draw all my value and self worth from success, and we ran out of time before we could talk about more. I kind of understand, and i could see why success shouldn't be *everything*, but i dont really know what else would make me feel valueable and worthy. My whole life has been trying hard to succeed and failing, and i dont really know how else to live. What are healthy things to draw self worth and value from?",2.554774477447744,4.499946237623764,3.0401320132013225,93.25434543454348,76.72277227722772,6.865126512651265,20.133113311331133,7.793537801064563,0.5222466446644662,394,9,86,6,9,122,63,101,0.068,0.696,0.236,0.9521,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,2,1,24,19,9,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,6,10,0,0,4,0,3,1,4,1,0,0,3,3,13,5,11,10,3,4,0,1,1,0,7,2,0,0,1,55,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556638895949824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254402113389438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734349015389394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26617655673667445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318316682035376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055507959354828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336269062775167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271606121012245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659033512838205,0.17511208181412305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125297742726478,0.0,0.0,0.14067916175379208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634482959756897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412413012815112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695441926672374,0.0,0.4986047624239468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805236167354614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849784379156436,0.10584263299069838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289858272882544,0.0,0.0,0.15223349794089158,0.0,0.21633054298636847,0.0,0.0,0.16585382799526274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437581296352251,0.17787089627375474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317368832329702,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuspiciousEscape5,2019/02/13,"Daily grind is killing me. Do I buckle down and get stronger, or am I just grinding my face off? I logged a whopping 4.4 hours of video games in the last two weeks. No relationships, no time for hobbies, juggling a dayjob and an internship, paying my rent by playing Homemaker for my parents. Then stack the stresses of inflated student loans and insurances, the internship and my future career being up shit creek, my parent's declining independence and health and repeated (nearly every 6 months for 4+ years) emergency hospitalizations, and the fact I'm 7-8 months sober out of half a decade of alcoholism. I average about 6 hours of sleep per night, waking many times, am carried through the day with 5-hour energy and \~400-500mg caffiene, and my coworkers just think I'm mentally ill.

I feel like I need a pack of cigs and I don't even smoke.

I don't know how much longer I can keep any of this up, but we're coming up on a year of this bullshit (averaging 6-day workweeks \~50 hours) in a few months, and I'm starting to reconsider my life choices.

I'm either learning a valuable life lesson about the need to better manage limited willpower, or I'm actually making myself tougher. Or I'm just flushing my marbles down the shitter. Not really sure about much of anything anymore.",8.620432098765434,7.612527144032921,8.380751028806586,71.04421296296297,61.51028806584362,11.556790123456793,38.768518518518526,10.686352973137794,4.122281481481481,1028,45,183,21,12,331,159,243,0.107,0.823,0.07,-0.828,5,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,3,8,8,2,1,15,0,8,9,4,3,2,37,24,17,1,2,9,2,1,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,14,1,2,5,3,3,1,5,3,0,2,0,1,19,5,31,23,4,30,0,0,0,0,4,11,1,3,19,105,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.12474580397592668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366137639355728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693029125490959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677520992883953,0.0,0.0,0.10519502275133584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305720794547798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011613608657636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488240960729553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443197385148969,0.0,0.10770415635600787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463580994869972,0.09132336151543613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678705741095324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358796691880704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5035559364422705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362314819000605,0.14142740842191148,0.0,0.07025324347618997,0.1042003185632226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18058335092352093,0.062452364273097374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532899761973352,0.129601804188987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882480848723832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30610336855465703,0.0,0.18794277642252288,0.18957193860708746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996187625776993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838850985728876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189259167440215,0.0,0.0,0.1372439614095292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121793396562695,0.0,0.0,0.1279245361064069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048030128859012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643137291171554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048035188633267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190972314814628,0.0,0.0,0.14907998770681696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487350146451436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253929392373166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646395134760805
mentalhealth,Design--Make--Refine,2019/02/13,"Australian mental hearth organisations that have been effective to you. Australians out there: if a millionaire asked you to donate a portion of their money to a mental health support organisation of your choosing, based on your own personal experience of said organisation’s service, which would you donate to? Why?",11.174117647058821,12.549769941176475,10.243921568627453,51.897647058823566,55.470588235294116,12.290196078431373,42.49019607843137,11.855464076750405,5.813478431372548,261,13,33,7,3,83,38,51,0.0,0.88,0.12,0.7319,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,1,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,5,6,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,1,9,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,0,26,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27814365341805203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910343865024301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162528213824249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5996660043637574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25978543114354624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830123128452117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376253452607726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684680484006393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21135165928739852,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fdddidhamd,2019/02/13,"Would my therapist have to tell my parent about my suicidal ideation even if I’m not having it often right now? I’m 16 and I have been wanting to speak to my therapist about this for a while but I’m terrified of her telling my mother. 

I think a lot of those thoughts came from SSRI’s they had me on but some of them weren’t. I’ve been doing a little better recently but I still want to get that off my chest. 

I live in North Carolina if laws have anything to do with it",0.9210891089108912,2.8680269009901025,2.7192970297029717,93.5557772277228,81.97029702970299,6.4162376237623775,20.991089108910888,7.554174236665415,0.6238190099009904,371,11,85,6,10,123,70,101,0.085,0.865,0.05,-0.6586,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,1,6,1,0,0,3,0,11,1,1,0,0,18,20,7,1,5,6,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,1,14,1,16,13,2,11,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,5,4,63,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488877667365582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18795981287501248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430703287329212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036980298900706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103478532292542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130044329417631,0.1876621916995938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806799256056908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359822561313246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20984137043683854,0.0,0.0,0.18149395381572134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972158466688092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23246627399043665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715099069147429,0.0,0.0,0.4935124526427056,0.0,0.13617651200969222,0.0,0.1687199626797742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507037967631064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097063508699898,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,syd225,2019/02/13,"Advice for my boyfriend? Should I reach out to his mom? (Self harm, bipolar) Hi everyone,

I'm posting asking for advice on how to help my significant other. He's 24 and living in Geneva, Switzerland for the time being and I live in the States. 

He had a previous history of self-harm, and went to therapy consistently for a few years and was on medication. According to him, he didn't notice an improvement with therapy or medication, though he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.  He has had suicidal ideations every day for the last couple years (since starting college). I've supported him through all of his bad thoughts (he goes through days where the negative thoughts are really bad, and then other days where he is able to keep the thoughts at bay). He's also told me that he believes he might commit suicide by the time he turns 30. He frequently attributes his mental health problems to childhood physical and emotional abuse. His relationship with his parents, however, has since significantly improved. 

​

Whenever I push him to seek professional help or to talk to his mother (who he is very close to)  he always says that ""therapy won't help,"" and that he doesn't want to worry his mother because it's not that bad. I could reach out to his mother or try to reach therapists in Geneva and set up an appointment anyway. I KNOW he needs help but I just don't know if I go behind his back to do so.  I do know that I don't have the resources to help him with cope. 

​",4.900672077922079,6.800849489285718,5.5143506493506536,78.19610389610392,70.17857142857143,9.090909090909092,30.941558441558442,9.573946990214177,3.0628571428571423,1187,51,213,28,22,383,153,280,0.094,0.828,0.078,-0.813,2,0,0,0,1,2,44.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,11,0,21,6,0,2,2,39,38,18,2,6,7,5,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,1,9,15,0,1,6,0,0,3,7,5,0,0,10,1,25,1,39,23,2,31,0,0,0,0,47,12,0,5,13,132,34,2,0.09072237714428256,0.10749118188308088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17730571392811514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255065222519068,0.07548828540214868,0.19659531546484266,0.2204752365786412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481317600920621,0.0,0.0,0.06975990806581403,0.22724818631775304,0.05530351905249378,0.0,0.0,0.1022130519777798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243443600269428,0.10038258474295722,0.0,0.17552528394918016,0.0,0.0,0.09208130311041043,0.0,0.0,0.1039757040255014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205046338918716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643751556809977,0.08668911918342267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515596176290975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964336445347591,0.0,0.0,0.3040464852708856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063821724727367,0.0,0.0,0.14957593765009505,0.07395084592696867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160219042258802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18278650098943056,0.09142681803060676,0.09624210541170496,0.0,0.10625295163710814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726949311341876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328802768263276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073646354923706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688695932289629,0.0,0.0,0.08680906260241854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058119077877861115,0.0,0.0,0.09740188115111116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214607563472257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18928645035349714,0.0,0.0,0.1500929757458559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421376548823575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19847111151638885,0.1029506784745226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291921024600598,0.0,0.0,0.3112468343941641,0.10533567229111956,0.0,0.0,0.08913427492158962,0.21607030099408744,0.1058018953657242,0.0,0.0,0.08668911918342267,0.0,0.06159453890772895,0.09867989474657482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485546235998597,0.0535104085754387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841005525213528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213297775900252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204752365786412,0.11684447286188958
mentalhealth,Skyelaces,2019/02/13,"Recommended online therapists? Suitable for NZ/AU timezone Hello,

A pretty traumatic betraying event happened to me right before I landed my first ever full time job, which I was stressing about all of last year. With so many stress factors correlating at once, I haven't had many opportunities to see a face to face counselor as much as I have wanted to for the past 6 months after I started working 9-5 straight after everything went down. I'm considering online therapists so that I would be able to  see them regularly to go through things. I don't want to quit the job I've worked so hard and shed too many tears to get just because someone I loved decided to betray my trust, but it has torn a huge hole on my trust in my own judgement, effecting my work.

​

I've looked into talkspace, which I know is based in America I think? I'm just wondering if anyone knows or are using a licenced online therapists at the moment that they trust and have helped them a lot?",8.680439691027924,7.3951201336898436,8.414937611408202,71.73913844325612,61.56684491978609,11.519667260843732,37.35531788472965,10.504223727775694,3.80070219845514,783,31,143,15,9,252,128,187,0.103,0.78,0.118,0.7823,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,7,8,7,0,2,8,0,11,3,2,2,2,22,29,10,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,3,4,19,5,26,24,5,26,0,0,3,1,6,12,0,4,12,88,25,5,0.1218887731010744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320664347304226,0.14810820070885508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522746420740714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430226475172537,0.0,0.1037183683766751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025537353387664,0.0,0.0,0.10954576982978556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367852813286528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368185317172577,0.0,0.06927219868121898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077858395094252,0.0,0.10918839930362027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169947530458355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419115991131777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339737640590977,0.09935561835521037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023558709329577,0.0,0.0,0.10362547610675914,0.11000937657914747,0.0,0.0,0.37072825417519895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729045580255093,0.0,0.08960227293127243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980756533343055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635662592713268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240047020487146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964371377863615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409234623937608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19425914233780814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327596190452122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627350095901266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792463555362081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4245667804401402,0.0809774847788135,0.07810140415022232,0.0,0.0,0.07107432379878452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527276476774024,0.0,0.0,0.14378631280845972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299211381605855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218317500116294,0.26620943551759024,0.0,0.0,0.08658628725125689,0.0,0.14810820070885508,0.07849237359668908
mentalhealth,AdequateKitty,2019/02/13,"Struggling with thoughts I have been struggling with thoughts about how I'd like to be dead. I don't want to kill myself and I would never act on any impulses to do so, but I can't shake the feeling of wanting to be dead. Every time I'm in the car with someone (I don't drive) I think about how I'd like to be in an accident and be dead. I occasionally go through days of not wanting to get up and I lay in bed and just sob all day. Those days are the worst. I desperately want to get rid of these thoughts. I am generally productive and don't have any other issues aside from the thoughts wishing for death. I don't know what to do anymore and I need help.",2.2597077922077915,3.5039330357142866,3.6179220779220778,91.7925324675325,75.78571428571429,6.8051948051948035,26.298701298701296,7.348242739294969,1.0162857142857136,515,19,121,6,11,169,77,140,0.27,0.634,0.096,-0.9833,0,0,0,0,0,4,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,1,3,5,0,17,0,0,2,2,31,34,10,5,7,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,0,7,0,0,5,7,6,0,0,5,1,13,2,24,24,2,15,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,7,78,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222803083618188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620817804060058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162026060353225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769948737696697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263671707071077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17077416285599697,0.0,0.09288283199829876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954580312927434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705817593360667,0.0,0.0,0.18081457856072647,0.0,0.08981859141317149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969037476064715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118361839708933,0.12604972948248086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847638737704848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34171165108400203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047213707464306,0.0,0.5189906982741643,0.09529919076446183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855884522361456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18794007005084165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160982288020746,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amitkolloldey,2019/02/13,"Overcome Anxiety By Changing Lifestyle Anxiety is a widespread condition and it is affecting millions of people globally. Anxiety involves feelings of distress, fear, and apprehension. Anxiety is typically experienced on cognitive, emotional, and physical levels. Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. But, someone who experiences symptoms for 6 months or longer may have a generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). The symptoms of GAD include psychological and physical symptoms, such as:

Feeling nervous, restless or tense

Excessive worry about everyday events and problems

Fear

Increased heart rate

Having trouble while sleeping how to Overcome Anxiety by Changing Lifestyle

Difficulty concentratingDifficulty for controlling worry

Issues with their personal social and work relationships

Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety.

With an anxiety disorder, it’s important to look into strategies that can help manage or overcome anxiety in the long term like talk therapy or medication. But, everyone can overcome anxiety by changing lifestyle such as eating a well-balanced diet, limiting alcohol and caffeine, and taking time for yourself.

Fortunately, by changing some simple habits and lifestyle can make to overcome your anxiety. Listed below some ways to help you cope with your feelings of anxiety.

## [How to Overcome Anxiety by Changing Lifestyle](https://besthealthandbeautycare.com/how-to-overcome-anxiety-by-changing-lifestyle/)

**1. Maintain a Positive Attitude**

**2. Practice Deep Breathing** 

**3. Do Exercise** 

**4. Stop Being a Night-Owl** 

**5. Stay Away from Drugs and Alcohol** 

**6. Eat Healthily**

**7. Go to Nature**

**8. Read Books**

**9. Take Aromatherapy**

**10. Limit Social Media Intake**

​",6.571498284407166,9.520144209302329,6.732376413775576,54.32809569195579,104.96899224806202,9.753818782564494,42.21400432075232,8.403604778245793,6.909693150336765,1418,98,138,52,61,452,164,258,0.231,0.705,0.064,-0.9892,0,1,3,0,0,0,99.0,0,3,1,4,5,10,0,7,10,0,13,15,3,6,0,39,21,21,0,2,6,0,3,1,0,1,9,0,0,1,6,14,5,5,3,3,0,2,0,9,0,1,0,6,4,1,32,19,5,20,0,0,1,0,13,8,0,7,9,90,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423703286128273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311751064238259,0.08199890429130535,0.0,0.0,0.7227374610950216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340224699489178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35693890654920707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756876207803514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468211188365522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825854339451392,0.13810336140874546,0.0,0.07590898923787781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064482641201145,0.0,0.0660110596563613,0.0,0.15187366696212545,0.1023638889854053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038351991061423736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996736093061535,0.0904645039786764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704344384053513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04766504847498408,0.03296865359105288,0.0,0.0,0.05972009321220365,0.056668497923241586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504524682996838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679817517511938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05386407191248712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332797146286513,0.06611874825676707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307722132685184,0.0,0.04678402867782412,0.058923317616033574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457185964660161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750099259878957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245119818664296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753146603458596,0.13758029152725576,0.0571778988284949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192761218409413,0.0,0.05641858463670256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104211879739434,0.10147723048448036,0.05424006282743745,0.0,0.0,0.07717238386348342,0.0,0.04483252778947283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03934972301906665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05356465065714633,0.0,0.0,0.060675079351455635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912823174763431,0.13706397766152198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199890429130535,0.0
mentalhealth,m3g0,2019/02/13,"Self-Care Group Activities? Hey! Just hoping to do a little brainstorming here. I'm in a group that, among other things, has a self-care mental health night where we just relax and unwind and sometimes take part in little self-care activities. We like to color, listen to chill music, etc. What are some other good self-care activities to do in a group like this? Thanks!",3.4990062111801237,6.16565082608696,3.987619047619052,84.03000000000002,76.97101449275362,6.2616977225672885,17.10351966873706,7.447530270364453,0.32296935817805394,293,5,53,4,7,92,44,69,0.0,0.7509999999999999,0.249,0.9511,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,9,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,6,8,9,3,8,0,0,1,0,7,7,0,2,3,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19608090390799984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746581020276014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868837947960832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462459250384685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717892735400986,0.3524269024132394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771808042942119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499106010392373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039119582784209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7336561905589151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173886155167246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219147437765671,0.0,0.0,0.16186741192847767,0.0,0.0,0.11680409329803415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ezyluckyfree23,2019/02/13,"Please help broken Diagnosed bipolar 2 in mid December thanks to my wife recognizing I had issues. Started marital counseling at same time. After living alone in our house with nothing but a mattress and lawn chair for 6.5 months she moved back in with my 14 month old daughter. I screwed up bad before. I have been gambling since I was 18 (now 34) Poker, sports betting, fantasy sports. One of the many things I obsessed over and got stuck on over the years. I revealed to her that I had racked up 30k in debt and that’s when she left and rightfully so.  I successfully kicked that habit during this 6 months period and kicked my over-drinking habit. I haven’t gambled at all and haven’t been drunk at all. I learned to enjoy the little things in life and even quit watching tv. I developed a friendship with a man that happens to be gay. He is also bipolar. He is older. He was there for me. He helped me maintain my composure and no doubt helped me get my family back. Before my wife moved back in there Were several times I was convinced and got stuck on the myth she was cheating on me. I went manic (didn’t know it then) during those nights. I smoked crystal meth on those 5-6 occasion via hitting off someone else’s pipe. It calmed me down. Allowed me to not be stuck and obsess over my wife and somehow allowed me to sleep. So once again I am hiding something from my wife. In my mind I wasn’t really doing wrong bc it was the end of my world on those nights. When we started counseling I did not have any more of those episodes. She moved back in and everything was wonderful. Happiest times of my life to be around the love of my life again and my precious baby. I did make it known to her months before that I had a new friend that was very important to me. We hung out 4-5 times every week and he listened to me without judging and without any personal gain for himself. I wanted to keep him around as a close friend. I wanted to be loyal Bc I have never been a good friend. I’ve alwys been stuck on my own BS. She was skeptical and thought I was cheating on her with him. I got into her gmail account and caught her ordering survellience equipment. We got over that and finally my friend and my wife started to get along. Then I took a deep plunge down a rabbit hole from all the info I stole from her gmail account. Things i couldn’t unsee. It would turn out to be my demise. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t hardly function at all during the times I was obsessed.  I was sure she was cheating. I was even ok if she had but I wanted the truth. She took a polygraph. Passed with flying colors. I was good for about 4 days. Then went right back down the hole again. Accusing her. Telling her I wasn’t going to leave her side until she confessed. So I was manic again and wouldn’t learn what manic was until after all this. I threatened to burn her clothes over text messages. I was once again at the end of my world. That night I demanded another friend get me coke. The guy didnt have enough so I spent $100 on Crystal. I spent another $100 on champagne. Another $80 on dinner. This was her money. Not mine. So we smoked it all and then we picked up all the clothes and hung everything back up in the closet. I scared her bad. Fast forward a few days and I became obsessed again for a long time. Was on like 4 hours of sleep in 3 days (didn’t smoke meth) and badgered her until she left the house and Called cops. I had stored my little bag with a pipe and bags in there. Was scared to remove it from house. I had packed up my stuff and put in car prior to this hoping she would confess. So I felt it was a good time to take the bag to my car so I could toss it in the morning. So I waked our door and had two cops instantly searching me. There was a dusting of crystal still in there and I went to jail. I’ve now lost my wife and my child and my 8 year old has lost her step mom whom she now adores and her sister. She was balling today when I had to tell her how I messed things up and probably wouldn’t get to be with my wife again. I went to doctor a couple days after jail and got put on additional medication to control manic episodes. I have learned methods to take me out of a manic state before it peaks. I take 100 deep breaths and it’s working. I am checking into rehab tomorrow lord willing. I don’t have a meth addiction but it’s where I have gone when manic and that’s a problem. I’m gonna do 30 days there. I am terrified. To be stuck with my own thoughts without the loves of my life. I have a new psychotherapist that I am supposed to see next week. I am submitting my life to God and giving what I have left to him because thee is no other way. My wife is divorcing me next week. I keep disappointing her. I want to give her a normal life full of love. That she deserves. I cannot imagine loving another soul more than I love her. I’m just learning about manic and how to combat it. I would do anything to have even a 1 percent change of being with her and my daughter. I’m hurting so bad. I don’t know what to do. My wife thinks I’m cheating on her with a man, turning tricks for drugs and smoking meth daily. I can’t Change what she thinks Bc I can’t talk to her. I have a drug test coming up. And then this rehab. I’m just lost. Is there any hope for me?",1.4778357753357767,3.5593398177655686,2.6819047619047645,93.8436507936508,80.76739926739927,5.5829059829059835,21.55799755799756,6.691623216298621,0.3314477411477408,4139,125,906,42,108,1326,399,1092,0.14,0.755,0.105,-0.9862,3,1,12,0,0,0,109.0,7,1,0,8,51,52,7,7,41,1,95,32,5,7,10,139,167,70,0,19,12,13,2,1,5,7,16,1,4,5,44,67,4,3,18,7,11,21,27,25,0,2,69,6,167,27,137,77,16,172,4,5,3,7,97,72,1,7,79,604,211,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0520636373215826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049463234537657885,0.0,0.03819232528169912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974319217053481,0.2003151241766324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039301042527074295,0.08503009154469991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22033928176424405,0.11962865095388164,0.02911303929176958,0.0,0.16255531073880264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876660233770239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104397719024304,0.04113957898450744,0.0,0.0,0.05356503653279447,0.03813114639995982,0.052843692117623436,0.0,0.1540008838455362,0.0,0.0,0.048473707305066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888268217335991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678498900703372,0.1107690185716248,0.04886870219258873,0.039895962804469096,0.0,0.08459942328204363,0.04934712929436394,0.0,0.0946317945904931,0.0,0.04023845918352988,0.0,0.08584422862366757,0.0,0.04502231025608788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585549355253997,0.05231692437360782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18448986559554909,0.0,0.09980704086240406,0.09162829832384613,0.027142163819263227,0.12017228296626035,0.1909835267173751,0.0,0.0,0.04728826272663245,0.04223254016845295,0.0,0.04278208974858885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603422086555184,0.0,0.0,0.09486961040612976,0.04703234229926311,0.1653201281161853,0.051126288105461916,0.0,0.0,0.04984729639340088,0.0,0.08489960954961219,0.0,0.0,0.05249346665477258,0.0,0.0,0.0505691837026758,0.1556687204513751,0.0,0.20239875714756908,0.023332311358639512,0.09573280157503186,0.04217148702727862,0.042264625861829434,0.0,0.0,0.15640160115968368,0.0,0.2155188212306428,0.0,0.031879061162170645,0.04841945830514356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04811150064663392,0.0,0.0,0.048222306550785264,0.05593398772583416,0.15248099755549194,0.15227866410715413,0.0,0.0,0.03683417412434165,0.09225060000780147,0.10158306757545656,0.13445389364795882,0.04679303074084455,0.045825412925803374,0.0,0.10022868287689116,0.10172214164800024,0.032362285517316784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041700738221059935,0.0,0.05242431306697143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149156545226904,0.04569827912807901,0.0,0.09602064035209268,0.0,0.05079687067116916,0.0,0.0,0.030595213954712874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157071863597727,0.0,0.0,0.09562885478772684,0.0,0.03805721173212789,0.0,0.0,0.0539533275577542,0.0,0.03950619033989558,0.0,0.1433784841415504,0.0,0.04046548442188376,0.036766701504923005,0.0,0.0,0.1014107913796773,0.0,0.03813987005696914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054671870409129984,0.0,0.0,0.045011667941309584,0.0,0.1077249787106353,0.038386342666580316,0.08348578409997584,0.04396946067824012,0.0,0.0,0.12691406938895644,0.06120322860589523,0.0,0.07582957070844475,0.19493789480210208,0.0,0.04526931975869138,0.0,0.10612254054362792,0.0,0.10389471419848732,0.04665295622552857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039405630133975765,0.11267641944424465,0.03790834537715131,0.11492657292499822,0.0,0.0,0.17708982950539892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811199940508564,0.05179187983540371,0.034768638533248485,0.0,0.0,0.10177845821916573,0.05221624487818093,0.0,0.06150960712329037
mentalhealth,acthrow23,2019/02/13,"How do I come to terms with something about myself that I cant change? How do I come to terms with an disgusting, unchangeable aspect of my personality? It has caused me to hate myself for years. Therapy is not a good idea,  at least here in america. Im going to be leaving the problem itself out, at least for now. Posted on a throwaway, obviously.",3.1459313725490183,5.194426044117648,4.968235294117652,79.62872549019609,75.32352941176471,8.062745098039215,26.03921568627451,8.841846274778883,2.134050980392157,273,10,52,6,6,93,52,68,0.181,0.8190000000000001,0.0,-0.9112,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,4,0,6,0,0,3,1,12,10,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,15,9,4,13,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,4,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599536197141677,0.2676949572229565,0.4359629596009835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381501173209452,0.2122476110078297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498359889125055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856643672078421,0.273339068008597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26794502442437096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22095482867296065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24235340851978066,0.0,0.0,0.2421361315444161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481142489193226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289386469478087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629568837801056
mentalhealth,toomanycooksxxx,2019/02/13,"I think I just saw my ex's reddit post about me. It makes me want to die.  I was browsing Reddit tonight and stumbled upon a specific post that had very much in common with my current situation.

This girl was telling about how she had to report her ex for harassment and had been told by her friends to file a restraining order on the former boyfriend. She went on to describe that this ex was manipulative and controlling, and I fear that the person being discussed is me.

Over the past year-and-a-half, I have done everything in my power to support and nurture this girl. She has very bad anxiety and depression and has panic attacks somewhat frequently. Over our time together, I have been able to help her through these by being firm and direct. And every time I have done this, she has thanked me. She thinks that I've saved her life, but in reality, she also saved me. I finally found her. I never believed in ""the one"" until I met her, and then i was hooked

I hate controlling people. I'm fine with controlling myself, but responsibility for others has always erked me. But not with Her. For my gf, I would do almost anything if it meant she was safe from harmful thoughts and actions.

Only recently has she learned of my mental issues, specifically with stress and anxiety, but I cannot believe she has left me high and dry without even explaining why she left. If this girl posting is the woman I wanted to spend my life with, then I am devastated and in complete ruin over what she thought of me (manipulative and controlling). I only wanted to protect her from her own demons. And i failed...

The last words she said to me were:

""I'm sick of you. I'm getting an RA and filing a Title IX""

In her post, she referred to me as the love of her life. Even though she has hurt me, I too would say she is the love of my life. She's my muse, my best friend, my everything. I just dont know why it had to end like this. 

I'm going to give her time and space, and hopefully, things will work out and I can see her without making her feel upset. All I know is that she is doing everyrhing in her power to forget about me and ditch any thought of us being together in the future.

I fear for her safety everyday, but it is not my place anymore. But someday, I would like for it to be...

I will always love you, DPD.

Love, G

",4.0315665349143615,5.161436578260876,5.006798418972334,83.99390645586298,71.26086956521739,7.923583662714098,27.20026350461133,8.296473431620573,1.7024710144927535,1806,61,367,27,33,591,214,460,0.114,0.7440000000000001,0.142,0.9477,3,0,0,0,0,2,65.0,2,2,0,9,11,31,3,5,13,0,45,9,0,9,2,80,82,36,1,9,14,3,1,2,3,5,5,2,0,5,20,27,0,7,13,0,1,3,7,14,0,1,24,5,86,17,57,49,5,47,1,4,2,4,61,20,0,5,21,269,106,4,0.07737781628275374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748270580477336,0.0,0.0,0.06187901172548312,0.1287690835097492,0.0,0.0,0.05261956847065419,0.0,0.11838763532781975,0.0,0.07673800171301483,0.0,0.0,0.06367534978347747,0.0,0.0,0.08802843664588322,0.0,0.0,0.06460724452255402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435660322387486,0.08120324435685347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112916819790608,0.0,0.34714320212149824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666453997815109,0.0,0.08030595691980014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836874212251406,0.09068622440348233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853377827386628,0.0,0.0,0.10221463577438618,0.0,0.06519414749607116,0.0,0.13908438384908572,0.0,0.0,0.17414311126309345,0.03912454885580188,0.0,0.0,0.08476361553997712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484078167536155,0.1195638178321664,0.0,0.0404267153561468,0.07422785212143407,0.043975596165964935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639457400043441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186471919996477,0.0817539112396396,0.0,0.07685363081998439,0.0,0.0,0.08283455269674958,0.0,0.0,0.08076233681139358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504964844856971,0.06307324775001033,0.0,0.0,0.16814244759129354,0.0,0.2186169598975944,0.07560578506256617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27934600090733097,0.0,0.1033005864346572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797863935639703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568815981734748,0.0,0.059678542108322324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243321086681918,0.11769863212195113,0.0,0.09078619542593612,0.0,0.0,0.07386588112430029,0.05364403503478864,0.06756332457659339,0.0808433489867956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29642623517952504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640125864990796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360402262653384,0.061533945226181025,0.0,0.0,0.06166010143770875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697590750522896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863602711954273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780742894906049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763162199643544,0.07123909719568003,0.0,0.0,0.05140638289187347,0.09916116058941173,0.07602331162917378,0.1842880288276645,0.13535888079116676,0.0,0.0,0.0739378194116396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307598570892113,0.0,0.0,0.12768960418750694,0.13691832250097716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173001090928129,0.13964288769153008,0.0,0.0,0.14917890732552272,0.0,0.056331971819188836,0.0,0.0,0.1649009418277861,0.0,0.0,0.04982877675473412
mentalhealth,Throwawayacc8989,2019/02/13,"Should I be concerned Hi all. A close relative has never really had any ambition to pursue any goals and doesn’t want to do any work. It’s been this way for a while since a young age. However, lately I have noticed that the relative seems a bit down. I have been concerned for a while and I don’t know how to help. 

Should I be concerned? And if so how can I help? 
Is there anyway in which I can inspire this individual to be more ambitious in life and work harder? ",1.7130208333333314,3.6585750937500015,3.565833333333334,88.49583333333338,79.3125,7.183333333333334,22.125,8.167268648758528,1.1146125000000002,363,11,79,7,9,122,60,96,0.0,0.841,0.159,0.9236,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,0,6,0,17,1,0,2,2,16,20,10,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,7,1,9,12,3,11,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,6,59,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5078584089985179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717754361378526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337153146835949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368096204585392,0.0,0.280812508672492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583202197170605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919960598143033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28341716095195274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594758310217835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226623484300551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20592379397265534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468298738981526,0.1975951170215873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624591435636419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,293402382347,2019/02/13,"Dating a Hypochondriac? Hey guys,

I want to start off by saying that my boyfriend is a beautiful human being and is someone I plan on creating a future with. He has many great qualities: intelligence, kindness, integrity, etc. This post is in no way to put him down, but it is merely to find solutions. 

To put it simply: a) I think he's a hypochondriac b) its depleting my energy and giving me anxiety 

​

He has had many episodes where in which he has exaggerated the level of pain and the symptoms. This time was an instance where he has been on the keto diet (low carb, no gluten, meat-based diet). During this diet, you are supposed to refeed on carbs every so often. He refed and threw up almost instantly. The thing is, he didn't just throw up, he was scream groaning for hours. His whole family and I couldn't decipher if he was exaggerating or in serious pain. Three days since then, he has had some diarrhea, severe anxiety, has been searching all hours of the day and night about whats wrong with him, not sleeping, groaning very load, and completely obsessing over it. He seems to be fine during the day but at night he is groaning and walking around the bedroom and obsessively googling his symptoms all night long. I hear him struggling and groaning in the bathroom. He is keeping me up at night. I woke up two nights ago to his scream groaning for hours in the bathroom and he ended up giving himself a hemorrhage because he was forcing things out of his body. Last night he thought he was having a heart attack and that he was going to die and I calmed him down until he relaxed. He is obsessively scratching at his body all night long until he is bleeding. He has refused to go to a doctor because its too expensive despite his parents offering to pay for it. He asked his dad dramatically how to write a will. He ate chili today and instantly thought he became itchy (30 seconds after eating it and despite the fact that he's been scratching himself for days) because he was allergic to it. 

​

tl;dr I have spent so much money buying him medicine, ubering him around, losing all of my sleep, my anxiety is shooting through the roof and not getting work done because of it. I am completely drained in more than one way. I am staying somewhere else tonight.

 

What do I do? I am at a loss. I don't know how much of this is an exaggeration. I have no one to talk to about this out of fear that I will embarrass him.  He says he thinks its food poisoning. ",5.2438336856941525,6.4872464630021165,5.691754756871037,79.78476391825231,68.51374207188161,8.608597603946441,31.880902043692746,8.927757054556999,2.6857405214940093,1959,83,362,34,33,629,235,473,0.18,0.755,0.065,-0.996,1,0,0,1,0,0,65.0,0,1,0,4,13,22,2,6,23,0,47,19,5,2,5,51,67,27,1,3,7,2,2,0,0,2,8,5,1,2,24,22,6,2,7,1,5,7,8,17,0,5,20,7,38,5,62,42,10,70,0,3,0,0,61,30,0,6,29,244,62,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654600559533421,0.0,0.07394613875520059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600242999061491,0.17946203497635765,0.0,0.0,0.1694760479372366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147725793156065,0.06903607586782683,0.0840105275494761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800634343254091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405259883721027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485232908029872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19049833826326107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664052734842501,0.0,0.0,0.07558454772584504,0.0,0.0755701343793066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556293126625596,0.06168888797813001,0.0,0.06540566988492111,0.0,0.08235785128110645,0.0,0.0,0.06221847090521328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961547130762066,0.08309732175053787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749393974477665,0.0,0.08929492074722589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038581506312837945,0.14167969472573402,0.0839368089215795,0.0,0.0,0.08141551620305597,0.0,0.07311918642797695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322985037019963,0.08750790908933405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21817041310680932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656377504731672,0.0,0.0768992835283291,0.040583850550502606,0.060194376040699375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307028374277465,0.0,0.08261482602516973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497365813171023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857066767263587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4850965210762507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000799712882418,0.0,0.15715477924389068,0.0,0.08199728470829598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072409026504503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847132666779564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174506647538831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722665838309966,0.0,0.08342500207526812,0.0,0.06108620469356114,0.0,0.1477987349251523,0.0,0.06256950728866037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052268604886621474,0.07871004963487359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719991129211226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15350861462649512,0.0,0.0593546470918487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981200509905596,0.09463511713887048,0.0,0.11725100897524728,0.04306021787602417,0.0,0.06999740823718723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213684764421448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060930714091455625,0.04355630575291048,0.11723109342509172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244646282396964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05376079424731663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073904862794484,0.17946203497635765,0.0
mentalhealth,woozymod,2019/02/13,"Question about stress Is it possible to reach a certain point of so much stress where you actually dont feel stressed anymore?

I recently went through something that pushed me right over the edge for stress and sadness but strangely i still feel depressed but much of my day to day anxiety is gone which used to be very difficult to live with before. It's almost as though I've just stopped caring as much which might be the reason but I dont know.

Anybody have any input? I mean I cant lie I'm enjoying the lack of stress but it doesnt make sense..",3.5639292929292945,5.351275736363637,3.7657575757575783,89.83308080808081,73.45454545454545,7.070707070707071,27.676767676767675,7.793537801064563,1.5232828282828277,441,17,91,6,9,136,77,110,0.274,0.6579999999999999,0.068,-0.9757,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,7,11,0,5,4,0,10,0,0,3,1,20,20,9,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,8,0,0,2,2,8,3,14,15,4,12,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,3,5,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.11874158949261915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184439134687453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827461977050248,0.0,0.0930844452300044,0.0,0.12067331690063007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103540248757531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240603074941862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15694635628723505,0.0,0.1048023308957166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28521481538936305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304957067626192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668718428315601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744518250272413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122197688616732,0.0,0.0,0.13254459122375806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908266626264842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683451863083061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502640932695275,0.13717529577415016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363088302318244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510673898184074,0.12014377610648283,0.0,0.0,0.1039135843733907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367478435522833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717336493850634,0.10172946758644162,0.6969169870627065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954944058058173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509197572275084,0.0,0.10039828850808943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127980680303968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway03709,2019/02/13,"Husband is making terrible threats after getting a gun My husband has clinical depression 10+ years and takes Paxil. 

My stepfather passed away and had a large gun collection, my mother decided to give my husband a 45 from his collection which I learned after the fact. 

He has been making comments to me that he’s extra depressed & suicidal. I have the saved texts to prove this. I told him the gun needed to be returned to my mother immediately and locked in my late stepdads gun safe. He has refused. He has also refused to go see his physician about this. 

He has since taken the gun from the home and has it on him so I cannot take it and give it to my mom or others to store it away from him. 

What can I do? Who can I even contact? Please help. ",2.8966307692307725,4.8015780066666665,4.171333333333333,85.70746153846156,75.6,7.015384615384615,26.871794871794872,7.882392219407189,1.6533641025641015,591,23,117,9,13,194,89,150,0.205,0.731,0.064,-0.97,0,0,0,5,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,8,0,15,2,0,2,2,17,27,8,1,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,11,5,0,3,3,0,1,2,1,4,0,0,4,1,19,2,18,22,1,11,0,2,1,0,25,4,0,1,5,81,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457271229366593,0.0,0.2094279665557462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36320174323628135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329581361714419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766520543224374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100985243097381,0.3708398085297193,0.10985028662480736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955718094939128,0.0,0.19388408599167636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21803780287056168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580430970288992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263771092336634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332094455728225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121726865574481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540258781412333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989021218756785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114262041628822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906577349989084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184695407519409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447143156429732
mentalhealth,SniperGG,2019/02/13,"I want to die The feeling of complete defeat. I hate it my face hurts my chest hurts and my body feels hungry all the time.  My head Is banging and the thought of just giving up keeps poping up.

Today me and my boyfriend were expecting tax his tax returns and it was going to help so much with bills . But the money went to his college debt. He curse , hit the door and went to the store. I just sat there wondering how o can help him and make him feel better but I was all ready having an anxiety attack from when I was abused as a kid. Any loud screaming and punching triggers me. He talked to him mom while he was gone and told him to kick me out.  

I do not work. When I do work every second is me having an anxiety attack. I try so hard to do a good job out of anxiety and not wanting to hear the criticism.  I come home paranoid that I did something wrong and was suicidal . My last boss yelled at me because a dust bunny landed on a light stand . I cleaned houses and I just accepted more work because some one had to have surgery and hadn't had a day off in weeks . And took more work every time she asked . The persons house I was cleaning messed up everything to say i didn't . So I guess at this point she was mad. But I didn't take that disrespect and didn't think it was worth it so I quit. 

Anyways now it's night time and my bf went to work.he asked me to look for a job. But I am terrified , i can't all to people without having anxiety.  I can't me hovered over because of anxiety.  I can't disappoint because of anxiety.  And I just want to die. 
You ever feel like it's not fair that people can just live their life? Just never feeling this pain every day? Ugh and I get it . One person shouldn't have to do all the work. But it's hell . I don't know what to do . 

My birthday was yesterday and we did nothing ... Can't afford it which I get . But still sucked. We were gonna get a less broken bed and ugh and we are fighting out of stress and I just want to be able to provide without feeling like everything is too much.
Sorry to vent 

Any advice? Job ideas that you guys have found to be less triggering ? ",1.0933409090909088,3.1161863795454567,2.577272727272728,94.3959090909091,81.79545454545455,5.636363636363638,21.363636363636363,6.7829847944221076,0.34240909090909044,1637,50,366,18,44,532,210,440,0.239,0.68,0.081,-0.9979,5,0,1,0,3,2,41.0,3,2,1,8,20,23,7,1,18,0,45,6,4,5,6,80,85,36,3,6,18,1,7,2,1,2,2,5,5,4,17,29,0,1,13,0,7,7,16,18,0,3,28,14,55,5,44,52,11,40,2,4,1,0,33,14,2,3,20,245,72,12,0.07417583001571493,0.08788622924713774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724837626125612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008842160165602,0.0,0.3404658416030821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868877612734082,0.16877143002676087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086759000966748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560249381401102,0.0,0.0823926254035741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389590958168856,0.07777194651725396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567454789364872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539656014060993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670962848956259,0.18748900789666706,0.0,0.1333289062659895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22503317034158726,0.10598245556851678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132996900501364,0.0,0.0,0.11626142906618556,0.07115621512594042,0.042155833580604304,0.06221516696876327,0.0,0.0,0.0817130394193298,0.07344573362294016,0.0,0.0,0.06644697407625275,0.07323327547099799,0.07612580132360115,0.0,0.08360155136282989,0.0,0.09943699060028477,0.0,0.07440440543326636,0.0,0.0,0.17117789760112231,0.15881352034565874,0.08373548337468154,0.0,0.0,0.22082419731679134,0.06593088589148616,0.0,0.0,0.040765096311095504,0.0604632015789596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239258238000519,0.07247712755956319,0.0,0.06549861686807948,0.0,0.062289015553037876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04951294252024936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687383562235958,0.0,0.0,0.10905553968387882,0.0,0.057208972902990075,0.0,0.0,0.06960899166121925,0.0,0.07117370943327685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052692420843552,0.0,0.07892831292158918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284836184978803,0.12953494734916585,0.0,0.0,0.07012013511192973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788951257051036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898759722831351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057104177849272186,0.0,0.08303376883794436,0.0,0.0,0.0592369136673757,0.0,0.0849681626690321,0.0,0.0,0.08113631881281368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055770992875872526,0.059619722436128765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047528876785326184,0.0,0.05888732351186283,0.1297575689651614,0.0,0.07031001370274534,0.0708781843153771,0.08241207643019728,0.050360519551310885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750033054910241,0.0,0.059499376621512626,0.0,0.0,0.20628521268122596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430057063289647,0.08044052352297684,0.3240053260878732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109962580531023,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Grea1nessWithin,2019/02/13,"I think many people use depression to excuse their weakness (I did), I think people who want to suicide should go ahead and I think its good riddance when wealthy people OD. Are we allowed to discuss controversial ideals? Probably the only time I will be allowed to post here, but I felt the need to /rant due to reading up some stories about relationships, where people break down due to their SO's cheating on them, get depression and contemplate suicide and honestly, weakness like that is a burden on society. Now I get 'real' depression, when people have no hope or access to better themselves, even worse when they have other mental conditions that render them vulnerable to depression and suicide tendencies, for them I have the utmost sympathy. 

​

Basically people flail around the label depression when they hit even slightest curb in life. I came from a 3rd world country, where my best friends slept on the street. You cry about depression there and they will slap you back to school, so you can work on improving that A to A+. Then I came to the west, where I was in that self-labelled state of depression due to being a foreigner, that looking back years from, acknowledge the fact I was weak, it was my fault for not seeking to improve my life and pushing everyone away. Then after I didn't find employment, had no idea where my life was headed, I was in another one of those self-labelled depressions, where a couple of months later, with renewed focus and commitment (voluntary work, excessive applications and contentiously remodeling resume), I got the kind of job I always wanted. Now all is good yadde yadde yadde and I am resenting myself for not doing everything a few years sooner, how much better my life would be if I applied myself in more areas of life, how much more successful I could've been. Oh well. But this has solidified my viewpoint on depression.

​

The same applies to people who suicide when they have the opportunities and facilities available in the west. And I am no fucking sympathies to wealthy people who OD. The less dumb people there are in this world, the better it is for me. This world already has enough. ",9.886816398322283,9.06979309768638,8.896536327966446,67.7446989581924,58.897172236503856,12.199756460560145,39.239751048572586,11.313756151347434,4.543187146529563,1741,73,283,39,19,544,206,389,0.234,0.623,0.14400000000000002,-0.9947,4,0,0,0,0,4,55.0,1,3,9,10,28,33,4,0,20,0,31,11,2,5,3,48,50,26,6,8,6,0,1,1,1,4,8,0,1,0,16,16,0,1,7,1,0,4,6,18,1,1,14,2,42,15,47,28,11,55,0,9,1,1,20,27,2,4,22,214,58,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453323613660398,0.0,0.0561995701929062,0.14636141451887422,0.16413955447378945,0.0,0.07082268748900426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06012586044498186,0.0,0.0,0.06345704655642675,0.10386980785455242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088017258085383,0.17920372928671546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449795259107796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539260383095298,0.0747328951419872,0.07419067985209896,0.0,0.0,0.5235571223887096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978796695176187,0.0,0.08922046257337918,0.0,0.0,0.06453837456442353,0.060701547140172125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485000676557873,0.0,0.061731302672723525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052182053251019316,0.06244061904066279,0.07057482946686963,0.0,0.03838513929186941,0.11330046863367738,0.05401875343701247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693166102841826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708350952145135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624563245472159,0.0,0.0,0.06702407751636559,0.0,0.0,0.0703336175774247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23853123063880505,0.03299714891806131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056717477399304786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684760310141791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806549983289058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391062747894095,0.0,0.09930089683345013,0.050080838105261705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576756833601535,0.05136801751831868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214201836617197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646856627263693,0.0,0.07282068317777214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755933477076162,0.0768765097144864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725138188993384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835515573283837,0.0,0.0,0.14092010563674331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955158168849315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983274679902726,0.0,0.0,0.039383733604971306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833378781357317,0.0,0.0,0.07967493093175645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072752177900601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983413881055581,0.0,0.06883010748224351,0.04797922918832388,0.0,0.16413955447378945,0.08698845283440466
mentalhealth,D-e-v-i-n,2019/02/13,"Mental illness and starting college. I know that it's not some parasite on my brain its how my brain naturally functions, so don't misunderstand when I separate the two. I'm 19 and I try to live my life to the best of my ability in spite of the fact that I have been told that it's a miracle I am as high functioning as I am. (giving me the perfect excuse to slack) I have borderline personality disorder with psychosis and psychopathic tendencies and I feel as though sometimes I behave because I want to and other times I behave in a manner contrary to my wants and needs. I am at a point where I just seem like I'm a little behind socially for my age whereas 3 years ago I was completely unable to function in society without supervision. I want to start college as soon as I can, however, I know for a fact I can't handle that if I don't have a substantial amount of help. The biggest issue is my intelligence. If I am not stimulated I get bored and then waste everyone's time. In high school, I skipped most of my sophomore year and junior year and was told I wouldn't graduate unless I could test out of the material. So I did. I graduated a year and a half early which I am grateful for because I grew a lot in that time. Are there any programs for mental illness in college besides talking to the school counselor or something? I know my limits.",4.4105964912280715,5.505868792592594,6.0787719298245575,76.7913157894737,70.33333333333333,9.239766081871348,32.358674463937625,9.549672527348893,3.092037037037037,1074,49,205,24,19,369,147,270,0.069,0.799,0.132,0.9306,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,9,5,1,0,16,0,20,5,2,2,3,40,37,25,0,8,8,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,12,0,1,5,0,0,1,7,2,0,2,6,1,39,3,35,29,5,31,0,0,0,0,8,15,0,7,16,151,49,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217886219773672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605828035089351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428730461549509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280632607546974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28254311072249244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268517595890109,0.0,0.0,0.10103980798754733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450371639494224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092386494977103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398743835979177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611710633327053,0.12139820780312115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482373905670014,0.26741386209454404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320852303641438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20864556768497244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938594600419249,0.061825895158113826,0.12683625857707467,0.11174589158929836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075882104767069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550650946845594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383515690446807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049850268334216,0.0,0.0,0.11963057223370654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561505360568775,0.0,0.1152062878184422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900169939143707,0.0,0.0974243056169117,0.12516109972731534,0.0,0.17914535939362874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171602636052812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433464689159285,0.0,0.22137681569178747,0.0,0.0,0.24184772989954206,0.0,0.08591908390212298,0.0,0.12362087647812825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22392725226423074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219896000878415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32597597921332266
mentalhealth,Steve123479,2019/02/13,Is this necessarily a bad thing? So for some reason I have always believed that I am a special “chosen one”. I am on a whole new level than other humans and I cannot relate to other people because I believe that they are insignificant. I feel like I am the protagonist of this world and all other people live to serve me. Is this normal?,3.8991044776119423,5.247317119402986,6.0151044776119456,75.80414925373138,71.83582089552239,7.151044776119402,23.84776119402985,7.554174236665415,1.2442859701492537,265,7,48,3,5,93,48,67,0.099,0.8190000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.264,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,1,1,7,9,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,9,2,6,9,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,43,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103842278707761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21111193592842287,0.1541297181729933,0.0,0.0,0.5697311550819413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278441653457469,0.18062988517936412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352549446969985,0.0,0.2232635124525816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441957165309024,0.0,0.0,0.2477308043404973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133181789192695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505766627534445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599629813636913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16797653408036342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822882974997314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CWFrank,2019/02/13,"Me Big step here... I'd like to say that I'm comfortable with my particular mental thing. Hallucinations are only as real as you allow them to be. The downside is that my mind is so overactive, that I require a sleep med (Seroquel) to calm my mind at night. ",3.4155882352941163,4.9368642352941166,5.347205882352942,79.43492647058825,73.31372549019608,8.237254901960785,26.47549019607843,8.841846274778883,1.9899372549019598,200,7,40,4,4,69,40,51,0.037000000000000005,0.778,0.185,0.7906,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,1,0,6,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,3,7,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,26,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447210470658948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290402757508276,0.0,0.29852610688699954,0.0,0.5982075747826064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779880080135313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252932003128675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371700084840412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355707827346533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964399030560494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967993732708612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WimJimCodie,2019/02/13,"This cycle is going to make me kill myself I have dyslexia, social anxiety and insomnia, these things are deadly because my insomnia makes me sleep little to not at all, and that makes me have horrible anxiety about stupid things and on top of my constant normal dyslexia symptoms my anxiety causes me to develop a stutter and lose things constantly, I need help ",16.12369230769231,9.883836523076925,14.331153846153846,50.20134615384619,53.0,17.923076923076927,54.03846153846154,14.554592549557764,7.570846153846157,294,14,43,8,2,95,46,65,0.275,0.6679999999999999,0.058,-0.9423,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,2,0,1,0,4,4,1,4,1,12,9,4,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,10,0,7,9,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,34,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319381243430614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147304634370674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933424941776332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40677414698879055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696351564191472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615252974563548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20822538014905412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886348687396803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105577362144736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3768929198101742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955459349256602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18440486576198065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883449287402841,0.1918553803533415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956212216396085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37511310271705867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bumbleyumble,2019/02/13,"I can’t turn off my mind at night and I know it’s my ADD. Any advice? Does anyone with ADD/ADHD have any advice on switching your brain off at night? I’ve struggled with sleep for atleast the last twelve years. I’m on a high dose sleeping/anxiety pill I take at night, though it’s a 50/50 chance I’ll actually fall asleep in a normal time span.

I lay down at 9- 10, then fall asleep 2 (am), wake up at 6 am for work to repeat the cycle. I’ll go through this for about a week every two months. Going to the gym has helped. But I’m willing to take on some advice if anyone has it? I don’t do screen time after 9 (well, I am now, as I’m writing this, lol), I use my room strictly for sex and sleep, been reading before I go to sleep but none of it helps. My body is functioning off of crackhead time and I don’t want to get on a higher dosage of a sleeping pill or get put on adult ADD Medicine. I did it in high school and became a zombie of who I truly am. Any advice is helpful, thank you. ",0.5204166666666694,2.120776134259259,2.3340370370370387,97.5646666666667,81.6388888888889,4.8755555555555565,18.20740740740741,5.341637118332708,-0.6404437037037036,759,16,185,3,20,251,123,216,0.023,0.903,0.07400000000000001,0.8694,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,1,4,3,0,1,10,1,16,13,9,1,0,19,31,11,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,8,8,0,0,1,2,0,6,4,1,1,1,2,1,17,2,36,28,2,41,0,0,1,1,8,21,0,3,14,102,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.10523683725149904,0.0,0.12960340499527312,0.4215222160838181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22000585081283586,0.0,0.08249773862025782,0.0,0.0,0.15080926379817694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176437972605472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978655907640405,0.0,0.12038573784407455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437200694977743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086032886472492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268449065620442,0.0,0.1838648383232269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21684977673506964,0.22787895989157106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05926635537593294,0.0879044554340951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088882308300048,0.0,0.08607731175989045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036032005668017,0.10566085898812362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840955564923388,0.0,0.0,0.10786975023849037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914041118719653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43167379286926266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273837537754683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216537099412826,0.0,0.0,0.099285105302062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595280958967164,0.0,0.18864810563229886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729956975148095,0.10534456416010528,0.0,0.0,0.09313962523856112,0.0,0.0,0.06360716049854502,0.0,0.08650319804438307,0.0,0.09696162090895633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785092171869931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944578948800494
mentalhealth,DiaryJustAnotherTwat,2019/02/13,"First Post So i've started a blog to help keep me motivated. I'm finally facing up to some issues I have been having with depression and anxiety. I promised myself I would post it to a few place online in the hopes that it would further motivate me to keep going with it and try to update at least 4 times a week and be truthful and honest. Forgive typos and stuff. This is venting for me and I am not going to be putting effort into editing etc...sorry

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Part 1: [https://diaryofjustanothertwat.blogspot.com/2019/02/in-beginning-universe-was-created-and.html](https://diaryofjustanothertwat.blogspot.com/2019/02/in-beginning-universe-was-created-and.html)

Park 2: [https://diaryofjustanothertwat.blogspot.com/2019/02/in-for-penny.html](https://diaryofjustanothertwat.blogspot.com/2019/02/in-for-penny.html)

​

​

​",18.314901960784308,24.131005,10.810392156862745,37.743431372549054,43.11764705882352,7.2784313725490195,29.96078431372549,8.167268648758528,2.4556196078431385,738,19,72,7,9,190,72,102,0.05,0.747,0.203,0.9393,0,0,0,2,0,0,83.0,0,0,0,4,1,6,0,0,4,0,9,1,1,2,1,20,16,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,2,3,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,1,0,8,5,13,11,4,17,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,2,6,53,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4543908497167183,0.5095845231794391,0.0,0.0,0.08020486625468341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030141300085427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692803544965567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485075158097545,0.0,0.08917968935830413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191697696873372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027427915510323,0.0,0.0,0.1041330906565575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942920524490564,0.0,0.1863791513444409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353511765483043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953897296980578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082187198958534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539651215895704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736353273348768,0.0742086539415215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002053794266765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611349932514899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118174409704472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409900132763727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489553977822771,0.0,0.5095845231794391,0.0
mentalhealth,Basket-Face,2019/02/13,"Afraid of mental exam and the possible outcomes Hey everyone :) I´m a 21 and I fear that I might have a mental condition like borderline or something similar. It runs in my family, my grandmother has a severe case of it. Ivé struggled mentally since childhood. There´s a lot of factors, but the main being that ivé always, always tried to do my very best to overcome whatever might trouble me, and yet nothing has improved. I don´t get better, my days are like a fucking roller coaster of emotions and I don´t think its normal. I don´t think my behavior and the way I think is normal. I figured I was just having trouble living by myself as a teen, being stressed with school and such.  But Ivé moved back with my parents and lived here for the past 2 years, and nothing has improved. My mental state hasn´t changed one bit and honestly, I don´t think it can. When I get my bad days there´s nothing I can do to prevent it.   


I think ivé been in denial about my own mental state. I don´t want a label on me, but at the same time, I realise that I need help.  


I recently messaged my aunt to ask her if she could support me. I´m probably going to set up a doctors appointment soon. 

Am I doing the right thing? Have any of you felt anything similar?",3.739728033472802,5.685510953974898,4.573428870292889,83.55763284518831,73.35146443514644,7.290460251046027,29.52322175732218,8.07648339933343,2.1676425104602517,974,42,179,15,20,314,141,239,0.107,0.77,0.123,0.6043,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,2,8,14,1,4,14,0,21,2,0,0,0,34,35,16,0,6,6,2,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,11,0,1,7,1,0,3,0,8,0,1,3,1,34,6,21,27,6,24,0,0,0,1,9,6,1,5,13,126,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683863947029489,0.0,0.0,0.06880859274677988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326581419426812,0.0,0.09459338528763543,0.0,0.0,0.07780425367614215,0.08448441722442684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618637007226896,0.08948902927055415,0.11046672638933827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703926014655488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078719410474249,0.0,0.0,0.13051062420241674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035661160479514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381838596761522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668565235987793,0.0,0.0,0.0953872742128294,0.11386013578999615,0.0,0.0,0.09715251200529648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354298162056636,0.1057289321778626,0.0,0.05750520149302009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782150528936297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098866787107386,0.0,0.1786946593434693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602302217592125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098483885718986,0.21468047740870916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075425835719476,0.0,0.07502665717282947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827768184875627,0.29126634353989056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856490005145302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235286257871632,0.0,0.09659158141896568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406976179727707,0.0,0.0,0.1090934704484493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990699742653272,0.0,0.0,0.0864105869069147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240361442002738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143091241025377,0.0,0.0837004540553601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789638999871434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590593518763853,0.10577949081299558,0.0,0.0,0.11482240912080588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672221564676009,0.3241731219774313,0.0,0.0,0.059001206672213785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869729710252348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348740048519873,0.05968094738871504,0.08031515297365326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515918139273341
mentalhealth,longleaf1,2019/02/13,"Why can't I get right? Sorry this is mostly just me getting something off my chest but I don't understand why things are the way they are for me. Why can't I live a normal life anymore? I was going perfect until about 22 when this shit kicked in and now I'm utterly helpless. I can't make it a week on my own, my parents support me and they're the only reason I keep going. I'd happily be dead this minute and I've tried several times but they're so fucking good to me, all they offer is unconditional love and support. And killing myself would be robbing them of a huge part of their life. I can't logically do that to them and only try when I'm bad into my psychosis but it feels like an when rather than if situation, like it'll happen regardless I just don't know how much longer I'll hold out. 

Honestly all of my trouble with the situation comes from them. They're so good, they're all anyone could possibly want from their family. They drive me to my doctor's appts every week. They drive me to see my therapist. They drive me to every group and treatment they can possibly find. They would literally die for me, and it kills me to say that becaus I don't deserve it but it's true. 

Idk I'm mostly just mad at the injustice of it, I honestly don't know a single thing they could have done better and they will still have to burry one of their children to ""preventable"" causes.",2.4266197183098583,4.285937887323946,3.922794366197184,87.1715014084507,76.8169014084507,6.938366197183098,22.979718309859148,7.839951260653429,1.0645328450704223,1096,33,228,17,25,363,149,284,0.155,0.665,0.18,0.6674,1,0,1,0,0,3,23.0,0,0,15,2,13,20,5,0,9,0,26,7,2,4,5,49,47,21,4,9,9,1,1,2,0,4,3,1,0,1,14,13,0,3,7,0,0,6,8,8,0,1,2,3,42,12,27,37,9,24,0,1,1,2,21,8,2,3,11,153,56,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082034088022331,0.07628915201184368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910985943679338,0.06650974334604201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649501110059497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120814758382945,0.0,0.09398478847233743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17422384074263578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323435705746203,0.0,0.0,0.11167417502628918,0.0,0.1116528796870634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838522983543906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285502210773367,0.0,0.05516705490819787,0.077945041659134,0.0,0.0,0.0997205151985678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008663422034616,0.11400631526923848,0.0,0.1240144205751661,0.18302515280277346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648169602990572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096978044523854,0.2414182977556289,0.0,0.11992313683099227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541289827389972,0.10660694162369808,0.0,0.09634221802112487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847203751305958,0.0,0.0728288158017276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020514846746384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690029418662786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739327585236547,0.16595940632625553,0.0,0.0,0.12114882472285556,0.11815070103633188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460002755777422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217869840367092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317556141527278,0.0,0.0867651291653774,0.0,0.0,0.08694301407017238,0.0,0.0,0.1232582394633608,0.11199530065094587,0.0,0.2452784660963454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399479890319378,0.0,0.1221347540301958,0.0,0.0,0.08713184986692682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24762341782055655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667997713880086,0.1449697865184344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636203358019565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815104154158246,0.0,0.0,0.11358274713296004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435329255116885,0.08660292374284087,0.17503581567641954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953524223836085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550109343668166,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Conscious_Wrangler,2019/02/13,"I think an episode that ended me up in hospital? I've always felt waves of emptiness that come and go for a month or two at a time. About 2 months ago I felt like I could feel myself getting more and more worn down, I was sleeping about 4hrs a night. The night before this incident I ripped every single one of my eyelashes out my eyes, because it felt one thing after another kept going wrong and I was at my wits end. The next morning I had an argument that got out of hand with my sister, I think something in me snapped and I started getting hysterical. I ripped my hair out, punched my face a load, then got a vase and hit my face with it. My dad had to take me to hospital as it shattered and tore up my face pretty bad I couldn't even see as there was so much blood in my eyes and I had to get stitches. I told the hospital I fell and hit my head on the floor so nothing ever came of it.

It terrifies me thinking about it because it feels like I blanked out and saw red at the time, I wasn't in control of myself. I don't want it to happen again but im starting to feel the same as I did in the weeks before it happened. I don't understand what is wrong with me and what can I do? Has anyone been in a similar mindset?",3.0178160919540247,3.628034938697322,4.351590038314178,89.68991379310344,73.17624521072797,7.485823754789273,26.76053639846744,7.594959193182576,1.2238444444444454,953,32,218,11,18,316,135,261,0.087,0.8809999999999999,0.032,-0.8855,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,15,0,17,10,10,1,1,38,49,18,0,3,2,2,8,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,16,19,0,2,10,0,0,5,4,3,0,3,19,13,38,2,38,26,5,40,0,0,5,0,3,18,0,1,19,151,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485708994425356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842688945136822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403754705243135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271123051086164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876734292199088,0.14421716765861273,0.0,0.20131242797830567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529243059997845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189649902837096,0.0,0.0,0.13267247326653445,0.094445067693993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20953994340841006,0.0,0.0,0.07812953530041764,0.10700022229018824,0.0996645619208149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943317790748015,0.08450651420068843,0.34073131297586634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854051796341378,0.0,0.13445404826719104,0.0,0.1892148945123666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920719630412266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139983124721478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277736718882986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155811945756948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883615489975394,0.0,0.08695687850902306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580292752144434,0.2220146046158176,0.0,0.1135025991740768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031294807430885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034361917212302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426194273270604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183755881047512,0.0,0.0,0.09106554458380896,0.0,0.0,0.16745276868579567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893947920284773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858672638001743,0.2273866752448647,0.0,0.0,0.1379518875469246,0.0,0.0,0.11303131744280365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555229844465364,0.1231442286671726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977060137601611,0.0,0.09488523149281726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586634417186633,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Devin-Harris,2019/02/13,"No job, my goals (I have written goals) seem out of reach, my only daily ambition is to just get high My family looks down on me. I can’t ever keep a job or a relationship. I always get too stressed and frustrated at jobs and end up leaving/not showing up. I can’t find my niche anywhere. I seriously want to work, I have no problem working 12 hours a day or more doing something I enjoy but I keep getting high stress low pay and I feel like i’m wasting my time. I have so much goals I’d love to accomplish but because I can’t keep a job I feel I’ll never make it and I just wanna take drugs and be as fucked up as I can be because I’m so miserable and want to be numb. Every relationship I have gets ruined either by me or by them. I use to always be around friends, talking to girls and now I literally spend time alone 24/7 and I wake up everyday to no messages on my phone. I deleted all social media except Snapchat because people make me feel worthless seeing what they have and how I’m failing in life. I been in a weird place lately. Not seeking a mate, no ambition to be with friends, no ambition to have sex, just legit want to be high 24/7. It’s never been this bad before.",1.7928958944281526,3.5291228790322613,3.7942668621700872,87.93753665689152,78.2741935483871,6.444574780058653,24.579178885630498,7.348242739294969,1.0743967741935485,926,33,197,12,22,315,135,248,0.245,0.653,0.102,-0.9901,4,1,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,7,10,19,2,3,6,0,20,7,1,4,4,44,46,19,0,5,11,0,3,1,3,0,3,0,0,1,4,12,0,3,5,1,2,0,11,14,0,0,3,5,31,5,30,37,4,28,0,5,2,3,13,17,1,4,12,126,35,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778992394545693,0.0,0.0,0.17319685002296914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264848110267182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689796444130861,0.19032877573090065,0.0,0.08855984017849533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711952306558355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069352316879127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921792265168026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414145644404737,0.08768736002844571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811229378171328,0.0,0.1578697720532028,0.07435093269513604,0.0,0.0,0.095122321523375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081559378096766,0.0962153135175764,0.217498783578116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329881665330583,0.0,0.0,0.10249254111262404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131120242266584,0.2775189251741463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740070985584945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351098529212259,0.050845604625891085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739647290085932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393141215453356,0.0,0.1389412403067505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650682414907636,0.0,0.16053753316248456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791534418818428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215224056358037,0.0,0.10873583167779947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958536027205668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22347439621676576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293400131483711,0.09474562957564188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609097347560616,0.0,0.08012173073565887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384342619708557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825116554266194,0.08365124107330285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137350124050922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988706020828628,0.0,0.0,0.1841577304213932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515351326380684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,witchywoman331,2019/02/13,"Being neurotypical killed my sex life. Advice? So, in my teen years I experienced depressive/manic symptoms. Ya know; lethargy, irrational anger, deep sadness, wildly happy moods, etc. A couple weeks before I turned 19, I got on a hormonal contraceptive pill. Before long, my mood balanced out, intrusive thoughts quit, and now I am basically your average neurotypical person. A whole psychology degree later and I now understand that my symptoms could have been caused by a severe case Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or PMDD. But no big, right? Birth control fixed me up... 

I’ve been on the pill for almost 4 years now. And my mental state is still pretty awesome. But... I have no libido. I’m not even 23 yet and it’s just gone. Now I don’t know if it’s because of the pill or what, but I’m scared to go off it or change it because what if the whole mental illness thing comes back?? I want my libido back, but I need to be neurotypical. I’m applying for jobs that require psychological screenings. Not dealing with those symptoms has helped me get ahead. But my lack of libido is harming my relationship and causing negative thoughts and feelings. What do I do?

Also, I have an appointment in less than a month. I’ll talk to my doctor about it, but I want different perspectives and ideas first. Thank you!",3.6175933609958513,6.381618344398342,4.6210522821576765,79.10185228215771,77.17427385892117,7.673427385892117,27.067385892116175,8.608573733854374,2.401496796680497,1035,42,180,23,25,336,152,241,0.158,0.789,0.053,-0.9769,2,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,3,0,5,13,9,2,1,9,0,15,10,0,3,0,41,34,20,1,7,14,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,12,10,0,2,7,0,0,3,6,5,0,1,6,3,26,2,19,25,5,31,0,1,1,1,8,10,0,6,17,122,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467399180544136,0.0,0.0,0.11751002679010886,0.0,0.0,0.09384551365472607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804712763883241,0.0,0.14307210185474162,0.0,0.1997140331345108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24110350634995376,0.12414174668854992,0.10108745390242746,0.0,0.0,0.13161907085460986,0.09369518597660492,0.12984659597479076,0.0,0.0,0.12098367831129828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12260676762084916,0.13449435742628574,0.12011367162234213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087733143791744,0.07750919681646802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059336167167163736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981865954382332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131102876694136,0.0,0.06669325018919507,0.0,0.09385627626590952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492227018740107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865786925414611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247494043126368,0.0,0.0,0.1164527119860108,0.0,0.12983144103557562,0.0,0.12898602809331766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288844764619667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385189941102604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23652431609485536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366841003156352,0.0,0.0,0.08701424371661119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246632456316722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938810627955054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481718211781215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259910047285393,0.0,0.1002170715335647,0.0,0.0,0.11748877466316165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257317276948669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371662159402146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36591771499367054,0.0,0.09432224977927013,0.0,0.10804098970239892,0.0,0.0,0.07796275785756697,0.0,0.0,0.18632709479884216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764413724555293,0.0,0.12216647929461068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843326350945442,0.0,0.09413185493135258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620362933964017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114033074994745
mentalhealth,MarMarButtons,2019/02/13,"Follow up from my previous deleted post (mental healthcare in America) I've deleted it for privacy concerns. I realized my story was a little too specific. But I wanted to sincerely thank everyone who offered support and advice for our situation. Things are looking okay for right now.

Thanks all",5.077058823529409,8.503517784313727,6.466176470588237,63.8427941176471,77.0392156862745,9.674509803921572,37.911764705882355,9.725611199111238,5.472670588235292,241,15,30,8,6,81,45,51,0.0,0.762,0.238,0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,5,7,7,1,7,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713284504107567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653182895735403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782906351492734,0.0,0.0,0.2331664562993925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27981835793840365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26592379356191365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371221433543556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121041328649331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150879623716277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5112684028045743,0.0,0.0,0.18446653810684685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637724573896883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shimmyxyz,2019/02/13,"Im losing motivation I'm in such a bad state mentally right now. School has never been so hard.
So I have Algebra this semester. I thought it would be easy to stay caught up. Plot twist, I get the worst case of the cold I've ever hard and miss 4 days, and I was so sick on the 5th day that I slept through most classes. My grade drops to a 55, I quickly do makeup work and it rises to a 63. Now, I'm failing and have no idea what we're learning. I tell myself that I'll just wait until next unit and stay caught up. I must be cursed because neither my alarm nor my mom's went off on the day she introduced the unit. So now I'm completely lost with a huge test tomorrow. Oh, and my biology grade dropped to a 34 due to my absences and according to my teacher, there's nothing he can do because most were group assignments that I wasn't here for. So now, I have 2 test tomorrow, a project due that I've procrastinated for a week due tomorrow, multiple worksheets, and about 8 makeup assignments ALL due tomorrow. When I get home from school, im on the brink of passing out. My motivation to do anything is gone and I can't seem to make myself try. I would have to start going to bed quite early if I wanted to have any sort of energy throughout the day, but when I get home I like to stay up and have atleast a few hours to myself. I hate how I have to dedicate 43 hours to school a week, I just want a BREAK. Im doing my project, some HW, and studying tonight, but no way in hell am I about to stay up all night to do 8 missing assignments. Freshman year is not going well for me.",3.1639952996474747,3.821027042042044,4.585050267658964,87.97740305522915,72.87387387387388,8.193706750228491,27.391173782478127,8.456263369488248,1.623362814988901,1227,43,281,20,23,410,176,333,0.121,0.8320000000000001,0.047,-0.9734,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,7,22,12,2,1,17,0,27,2,1,4,5,41,51,24,0,6,6,1,2,1,0,3,1,0,3,0,8,13,0,1,6,0,0,8,8,10,1,0,11,3,33,2,40,35,8,63,1,5,0,0,5,14,1,6,33,172,41,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159557150487929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663835890375338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790631944325844,0.12835822078774645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038648418570636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715934843084796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523386417887196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650169627447208,0.0,0.11966870999810368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886245151760232,0.10394447055344493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21121345398971106,0.0,0.20736370794238476,0.0,0.0,0.11885089708113597,0.3411688383575013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143561176911143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778395895877458,0.11492806282903376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027675005262653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609979162044443,0.0,0.0,0.12330535252774913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812001970560862,0.0,0.11196891610551653,0.09880030269641572,0.0,0.101021202408139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198068115787256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991050545735975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31965391265367504,0.0,0.09584504807306836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451935093251418,0.4488676767539325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202136713335464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358238280867375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147976801379695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241964517999142,0.08356818600856519,0.16890221450308887,0.0,0.09466142792159546,0.0975977430899173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664676533105437,0.0,0.0,0.14957904464049313,0.0,0.0,0.0677983467525742
mentalhealth,ardentghoul,2019/02/13,"Medications not helping? Advice? My doctor keeps upping doses of medication for me, waits, and then changes my medication because the prior one didn't help. I've tried about 4 different medications the past 6ish months? Nothing seems to help me. The only thing that changes with each medication is my appetite and energy levels, I'm either hunger all the time or rarely at all, or I am super sluggish and feel like I am crawling through the day.

​

I used to not being able to fall or stay asleep, which mirtazapine has helped with. But I still have nightmares. I still have racing thoughts, suicidal thoughts. I spend a lot of time in my mind, with that being said I end up convincing myself that there isn't anything wrong with me. Maybe I force myself to feel this way, force myself to be unhappy and thats why the medicine doesn't work, it can't fix what isn't broken?

​

I'm not sure what kind of answer I am looking for. Has anyone else been through medications and nothing helped? Whats the next step? 

I *feel* like I try. At work I crack jokes to make people laugh, I smile and greet strangers. I listen and try to get involved with the world and people around me. But  I feel exhausted. It wares me down because I don't feel genuine, its not how I actually feel. ",3.6901773835920153,5.933049089430899,4.024567627494456,86.12447893569845,74.3658536585366,6.749150036954916,25.815964523281608,7.686295010490155,1.38850243902439,1020,36,196,14,22,318,139,246,0.092,0.787,0.121,0.8075,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,3,6,10,0,0,9,0,18,11,1,3,3,45,37,15,1,0,10,0,6,2,0,0,9,2,0,0,13,15,1,2,10,1,1,2,10,2,0,1,5,9,29,8,27,29,5,24,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,5,13,124,42,3,0.08796190808971152,0.0,0.08583813363777118,0.0,0.0,0.085955358552399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19061338133021086,0.213766692479244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150501135255946,0.09012736969529003,0.07238515551753627,0.078304747207321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724152547714942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610407085225525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056728153810768775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919014722159579,0.0,0.09003274019500583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348088718343526,0.0,0.07790814208994573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668571021386542,0.12568000942982038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045956466483002716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29479506417544243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781845855156794,0.0,0.09159879133232904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594749033007026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386584902270904,0.0,0.0,0.07478206871027238,0.0,0.0,0.058715256685292726,0.0,0.08836955956013623,0.0,0.0,0.5316742100298524,0.0,0.0,0.08881645204928741,0.0,0.07021035583165362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935484871594984,0.0,0.0,0.16880364631571665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960526539366271,0.06689899481760994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396959436899258,0.12196342326458365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367191766758666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007721750664687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375569031935173,0.1404929868509448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621605065475128,0.0,0.08290305738813045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058437983189341174,0.0,0.0,0.13966385916550395,0.10258259195607528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916108486486884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597084639756839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982006835180635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937194045137466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807463342115827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617253800443283,0.213766692479244,0.0
mentalhealth,dj_lush,2019/02/13,"Depressed - break up Has anyone been to see a doctor or therapist as a result of a break up/divorce?
Sometimes I'm so depressed I don't get out of bed or go to work.
Sometimes I'm coping.
I don't know how to tell whether I'm depressed and should get help or whether to be patient and wait for this to pass.
Any advice?",2.6169117647058826,3.554291573529412,3.943411764705882,91.01335294117649,74.44117647058823,6.028235294117647,28.30588235294117,5.6839178017228535,0.945978823529412,249,10,55,1,5,82,43,68,0.179,0.7809999999999999,0.04,-0.8871,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,2,0,13,15,10,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,11,12,0,6,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,3,0,32,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242632400508021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606682337112862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047066009128275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5930000647192692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23490139959657655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398069474279828,0.0,0.1304292642251767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538279808411635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612635230562633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18288056021385926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4539596925347191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20059177053698485,0.0,0.0,0.2664654019047957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707761297882492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,letmepetyourdogs,2019/02/13,"Specific therapy that would be beneficial for someone who “found” a deceased love one? Without giving too many details, a friend of mine (F, in her 20’s) found her mom after she committed suicide. 
This is the worst thing she has ever been through and I would like to gently recommend some type of therapy to help her heal when the time is right. She doesn’t have mental health issues and has never been to therapy, so I don’t think she would be one to seek it out herself. 
Does anyone have any advice for a specific type of therapy for these circumstances? Are there specialties? 
We are in the US. 
Thanks in advance. ",4.715128205128206,6.447758119658122,5.213333333333335,80.84000000000003,70.36752136752136,8.960683760683763,29.23931623931624,9.444778638647367,2.70868547008547,488,19,90,11,9,156,80,117,0.079,0.723,0.198,0.9313,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,2,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,6,0,17,3,0,0,3,15,23,4,1,3,1,1,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,4,0,13,4,17,14,2,11,0,0,0,1,16,5,0,1,6,71,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562847070595468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438508324845196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704840711489536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146008434824608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554765622594427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043622163400529,0.10723235886935684,0.0,0.0,0.1331444214663708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753216287382234,0.0,0.0,0.09303109055476826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448654959520258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780802774137759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526753980063934,0.0,0.0,0.14071593343288438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987230570617873,0.0,0.0,0.16255455077299252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704694714821976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18810161757249536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852982473818165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760020891506613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518187583350657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277834143225391,0.6348948562829322,0.0,0.09220896084423842,0.08893397142228959,0.0,0.0,0.08093224379707475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695280700501394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379303551952434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29578709165666833,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zectbumoomubtcez,2019/02/13,"Why dont authorised absences in schools include mental health issues? Before anybody reads this for context I have a diagnosis of autism an undiagnosed form of intermitent psychosis and An anxiety/panic disorder diagnosis.

Why is it that I can have the fucking flu and have to stay at home but if Im convinced my lungs are collapsing and Im crying in a corner with a paper bag im expected to go into school. I catch up on all my work I try so hard to go in, I try so hard to be a good student but now im close to getting booted out and living a miserable life with barely any qualifications and no hope at a future. Every single person treats me like I take the piss and stay at home playing games all day (I actually just lie in bed) and all I want is to live a regular life. Im even refused the money I used to get for my issues because I ""refuse treatment"" even though Ive been on many different ssris and they all make me want to kill myself even more and make my life worse pills are not the end all fucking answer to the universe psychiatrists they were discovered by mistake barely work more than placebo and still arent't even completely understand yet. The UK government especially mental health and schooling need to sort their shit out.",8.944884500745161,6.938995463114754,9.261728763040242,68.16881520119229,61.58196721311475,12.315350223546949,38.575260804769,11.022393298168332,4.172898360655738,999,40,183,21,11,335,148,244,0.188,0.7390000000000001,0.073,-0.9857,2,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,3,2,11,13,5,1,15,0,13,12,3,3,5,41,28,17,1,7,5,0,2,1,0,0,7,0,3,1,3,17,0,2,2,3,1,3,3,7,0,0,2,2,21,6,31,25,9,26,0,1,0,2,7,15,4,3,7,118,24,9,0.0,0.0,0.09022534733485124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287438512887851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056361336592699623,0.0,0.07867466611490675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694010640367556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156040743474874,0.05962754738867335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659858503284537,0.10596449832571628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835969896272242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189005145360258,0.0,0.0,0.24426967237752803,0.0,0.07789957342776226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095124948011195,0.09661063154539093,0.0,0.10509164746012363,0.07754910576317289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656478209845287,0.0,0.0,0.1965563563260888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18548516020498165,0.0918313266940456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4993507392981642,0.19300356943898864,0.0,0.0,0.10229071151761793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19591675680462467,0.04517014664084622,0.0,0.16328363048175884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343242341779875,0.09373756411423108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18635116726410794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855618970986113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073046992746162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248268891749507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280716289984086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490646812372927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19709514559995048,0.07383681354390129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069516660257774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083918992629464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554537574201988,0.0,0.0,0.09625169366504874,0.0,0.07985373997608762,0.0,0.0,0.10906785682373983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16685733000875053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462056775338568,0.0,0.09422226314153974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JackDM1,2019/02/13,"Toxic guy at work and I'm trapped Hi folks I apologise in advance for the rant but here goes:

For background, I work 12 hour shifts for an oil company that I started working for last September.

There's this guy at work (we'll call him John), who's been speaking/treating me in such a way that it leaves me absolutely fuming either during or after a working day, It wasn't always like this, it just gradually built up to this point.
Now when I head into work, if I know he'll be on shift with me, I'm instantaneously in a bad mood.
He's such a good manipulator that it's taken me months to see it, he'd always ask/TELL me to do things that would make me stop and think - ""you know, the way he spoke to me there just doesn't quite sit right with me but I can't put my finger on it"". 
And over time I've just been getting angrier and angrier until I suddenly realised I'm being manipulated, he's a slacker and I've been doing all the work that he SHOULD be doing! but now that I've been doing it for so long, if I even try to be delicate or harsh in saying no I'm not doing it, he manages to twist it against me somehow - wtf!

Thing is, I'm the new guy and I don't exactly have the support of others around me and I can't defend myself - he also sucks managements dick! (metaphorically speaking) and they love him!? do management seriously not notice when someone is kissing their ass!? 
So because he's the ""Golden Employee"", I can't even complain to my supervisor, even if I did - like I said earlier - he somehow manages to formulate an excuse that puts any blame on ME!

I want to punch the fuck out of him so bad, I feel like if he ever starts his shit and I'm in the wrong mood - I'm not gonna be in control of what I'll do, I just want to go into work, do my job, then go home with no shit attached - how the hell do I cope with this? should I be 'coping' with this? I mean are you supposed to 'cope' with anything at work?

I just want get on with life without the stress.",2.8310144927536243,3.7282641787439625,4.5847536231884085,86.7714782608696,73.8792270531401,7.548985507246377,25.394202898550724,7.908726449838941,1.2242440579710152,1526,48,341,21,30,519,201,414,0.214,0.7140000000000001,0.073,-0.9971,2,1,0,0,0,0,52.0,1,2,2,12,26,21,6,1,17,0,35,10,6,5,3,61,67,27,0,10,19,0,2,3,0,6,1,4,1,3,26,20,0,2,5,0,0,5,12,12,0,0,9,8,45,7,49,45,2,48,1,0,1,5,33,21,7,8,22,221,71,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731515866584194,0.1522271042898612,0.0,0.0,0.062205339348115465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527516580832809,0.08143109989150063,0.08551568048424832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275364989408785,0.05576159610429216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934050050797119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259567551566984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899305117982982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18125280070195907,0.08274331378548097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046251915573469166,0.06534892051402733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456607936679786,0.09558259866236858,0.0,0.10397336816112908,0.0767239064088341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27172041162135785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387853702911272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175570712095048,0.0,0.09008329390987864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077365897100208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054324649453793,0.07456337811408081,0.0,0.09685757535282616,0.0,0.0,0.06461066943786994,0.13406847451971712,0.0,0.0,0.0809514586638372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255870053205823,0.0,0.06105949004134141,0.0,0.0,0.09964181442176936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301353625480651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834599243418541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414355868712487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647233377037485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839129233924597,0.0,0.09729367508972056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811814872592349,0.08701255707604978,0.07274365897465808,0.0,0.0,0.07289279721689458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779313845746345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775054770435978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294912915791848,0.0,0.0,0.0764762155655333,0.10478296013611096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038034152277026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154229254964435,0.05861273499475205,0.0,0.0,0.053339124322741086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062104724249876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186090007366624,0.1452153327392591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817750528437428,0.0,0.5993463216263046,0.0,0.0,0.06498038241509581,0.1000122703713412,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,i_am_cyano,2019/02/13,"Becoming sad for no reason. I get sad for no reason lots of times and it is worrying me because it is getting in the way of some of my relationships. Some people see clearly I'm sad and somehow only make things worse or don't make any difference at all. I don't know what's wrong, but I get sad for no reason a lot. Does anyone here know anything about this and/or can give me a hand?",4.230740740740743,4.295228123456791,5.441580246913585,84.90311111111113,70.23456790123457,8.455308641975309,27.31111111111111,8.238735603445708,1.5658622222222212,302,9,66,4,5,101,56,81,0.228,0.682,0.09,-0.8451,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,5,1,1,5,2,18,15,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,0,2,6,0,9,15,5,4,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,6,1,42,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140899841522128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248348732669612,0.0,0.14691797492148395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108832450783203,0.1971763803865539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18652965644317115,0.0,0.0,0.15623599281394615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798293769747067,0.1712657371107557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962348406461409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035658351992013,0.0,0.0,0.2383451841063873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578287941240902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377274755031373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5506869546656201,0.0,0.1916783166457775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226819746551406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860981837075354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410440210170084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171169458414554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18130957919601734,0.1819410332678637,0.0,0.1951985103250579,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AssasinKillerB1,2019/02/13,"Help with Parents For awhile now I've been dealing with anxiety and depression issues and recently told my parents the same saying that I wanted to see a therapist. 

​

After I saw the doctor and was prescribed Prozac I was sent to see a therapist. After I spoke with her for awhile and talked about my life and what could it be that is causing all this. I seemed to notice that I would talk about is my mother.

​

I'm cyber school so I'm basically at home 24/7 unless I was at my job. I worked at a retail store as a cashier and at a point where I was working I had to quit because I was getting to far behind in school and it was also just taking to much of my time.

​

Now my mother did not like this at all and told me that I was being lazy and not thinking. I thought that it would pass like most things do and she would forget about it. But almost a month later by now she has not stopped telling me everyday how me quitting my job was a bad idea. Even though I had told her countless times that school, my mental health, and also my future (I wanted to explore careers and colleges as well) are more important than a job that isn't really paying for anything necessary. 

​

Now after I told the therapist all this she says that it sounds like my mother is putting a lot of pressure on me  and I agreed but wasn't to sure since I know I'm still a kid and still don't know how the world works and all that. 

​

After that first visit I told my mother what the therapist had said in hopes of her backing off a bit. All my mother said was ""That's not true at all"" basically just disagreeing with the therapist and ignoring the statement.  

​

Now after that and she just kept yelling at me for things like taking a 30 minute break after doing 3 hours of school work I was fed up with it and just needed to talk to someone. 

​

So I went to my local school and talked to a guidance counselor. Told her everything I just mentioned and she suggested calling social services and having them come by and maybe that would make my mother realize that she should back off a little.

​

It's been a week since that and they still haven't come by and I don't know what to do I'm getting pretty fed up with it and it's even made me think of suicide but I've been saying don't do it 

​

Does anyone have any advice for me either someone else to tell or what I can tell my mother I'm running out of options. I live in the US btw if you needed that info.",4.318419273034657,5.25858138856016,4.791972950126797,86.5071479289941,70.42011834319527,7.293299520991829,26.714511129895747,7.33818517376401,1.2654532431670895,1992,62,402,19,35,633,213,507,0.076,0.892,0.032,-0.9583,5,0,0,0,1,1,61.0,1,1,2,7,29,12,0,1,23,0,43,6,0,5,8,95,85,40,1,12,16,9,0,4,0,5,4,8,1,1,35,34,2,3,12,0,3,9,10,4,1,1,35,11,61,8,64,42,13,59,0,1,3,0,51,22,0,8,31,299,96,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040761204727675374,0.0,0.0,0.04176928163164337,0.0,0.0,0.06671532288409678,0.0,0.4067616069537352,0.4561698803055699,0.028366092174479725,0.0,0.03191013033393161,0.0,0.0,0.02916651622122405,0.0,0.03432602915030908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414904136946864,0.03482839381869855,0.0254276978707356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0455395063012627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0425933691772252,0.0,0.0,0.04285047214352102,0.0,0.07186366043500328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033304227030568866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04300400119253586,0.03592712004587608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042694754778378106,0.036503098048588506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03484564006826108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055101739984320025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037488719187179935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035480833563472806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04358636786401825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04433868983050178,0.0,0.0,0.0279591689591714,0.0,0.04184127717979082,0.04143016066349755,0.0410786444573231,0.0,0.0,0.04708860381669483,0.0,0.043537261076095735,0.12418036800554365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877268963098829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02946294038318727,0.08151494701841637,0.04180712172255356,0.036833111793739735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03546267811564407,0.0,0.039469601189135374,0.027843576464499902,0.0,0.04190605181094533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04203662887995118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03329470944283666,0.0,0.030663661898336424,0.06185893325095412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047490228588983975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263411817483122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03943202008023673,0.0,0.0,0.04243685046184389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041932822742382386,0.0,0.08873326259484529,0.0,0.0,0.02672224802550546,0.0,0.04118629643111195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935673176039611,0.09951493025557703,0.0,0.2110775885453868,0.06647930310737006,0.037973709979014725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901041570542106,0.0,0.0,0.042520883297710886,0.07068613494871395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993553914983004,0.034873716671606256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045626965030177775,0.0,0.039313761837056434,0.0,0.06272557539901248,0.13410847474990678,0.10937631450913762,0.0,0.0,0.2421585186547569,0.0554241791732182,0.053455676341708114,0.04098255321658531,0.033115254548277614,0.04864606584903214,0.0,0.0,0.2391498518404171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017528776052675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049206507126765546,0.0,0.03345944228367427,0.0,0.037504760886067495,0.03866812595135319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214694800003508,0.0,0.0,0.11852612887806012,0.0,0.4561698803055699,0.0
mentalhealth,FredzRed47,2019/02/13,"I’m emotionally conflicted I feel like shit constantly, I take no pride or joy in the things I used to love, like guitar or cycling. I just feel stuck in a corner, I’ve got no idea why and I’ve never felt like this since maybe 6 months ago, I feel like what I imagine depression is like but I don’t want to actually go through the system of depression because others will call me an attention seeker or say I’m lying for anti depressants. I don’t know what I feel I don’t really feel anything anymore, I spend long periods of time just planing my own suicide in which nobody I love is affected by my selfish actions, I’m lost and scared but i don’t want to burden others with my misfortune currently as I’m very busy with exams and revision and I feel like me doing this will just get in the way of every bodies time, my girlfriend says I don’t give off ‘my signature glow’ or make jokes like I used to. I don’t even know why I’m posting this but I just want somebody to hear it even if they’ll just take the piss.",5.265786163522017,4.823501867924531,6.383962264150945,80.75899371069184,68.0566037735849,9.896855345911954,30.40251572327044,9.516144504307137,2.4776402515723284,804,27,170,15,12,271,115,212,0.222,0.63,0.14800000000000002,-0.9728,1,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,1,2,7,21,2,1,6,0,12,5,3,4,1,40,43,13,1,4,13,0,7,7,1,3,0,3,0,0,10,6,0,1,12,2,1,2,9,9,0,0,4,11,26,12,19,36,1,20,0,4,1,2,9,6,2,5,16,95,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.10883656324660064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886404488276884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060715241519382,0.0,0.0,0.0917791571499494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798726029802556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388397212902752,0.0,0.0,0.11388394230350884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052361241007248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881802129395909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545551416699469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473281756859145,0.0,0.0939682927325118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383555611458229,0.2390297828386681,0.1070856719907058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058269485355710235,0.10698912103226534,0.0633847032643405,0.0,0.08920021447049585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257016900268238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590306763243042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258723473136975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814132687616717,0.0,0.0,0.09869997052074196,0.0,0.0,0.1217474669741024,0.0,0.2013191965467336,0.0,0.07444671123368078,0.0,0.11204622876270097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902166798365302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601831498789546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681429357836383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144856138743642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773852408561239,0.11166034190551337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448328131256595,0.09225823587512373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199501362196526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677123915690414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409514843635713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300673288697276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265110920837644,0.0,0.09202339907821716,0.19734871155407974,0.08852681160473866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20127579318989866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imadumbz,2019/02/13,"I'm anxious all the time, I overanalyze, I'm constantly scared that my relationship is falling apart and I'm just scared all the time to the point where I have panic attacks M(17) still in highschool, I have awful anxiety and I'm just looking for ways to get rid of it",4.072777777777777,5.418063500000002,5.189814814814816,81.8991666666667,71.4074074074074,8.362962962962964,30.16666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.3733111111111107,215,9,43,4,4,71,36,54,0.342,0.6579999999999999,0.0,-0.9538,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,3,3,1,3,0,0,0,2,6,9,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,0,5,9,2,10,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,4,25,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19518145250225624,0.2882356523811221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29025865882818025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757157716874053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330015421388872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21425339716900696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29935189500696024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411898313738562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739249478869071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5108794321665259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037551866626577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975484490841517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20251830897317352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,madamerash,2019/02/13,"exhausted with nothingness im exhausted from not feeling anything. nothing but deep deep discontent and unease and wishing my life had been better for me, or that i had any support at all growing up. i want to do things to help me feel temporarily happy but nothing works. im beyond upset i waited a decade for kh3 and i cant even play it without feeling like its just going to feel ruined for me because its not making me feel anything. nothing is helping and i really cant get out. i just want to feel again, or disappear. i dont care which. walking doesnt help. sunsets dont help. nature doesnt help. my pets dont help. art, which is my entire life and soul, is the last thing helping and im becoming too tired to even try. it hurts to force myself to do art and i just feel worse after.  where am i?",0.7920121951219485,3.214076371951218,2.717756097560976,90.18273170731709,87.10975609756098,5.231219512195122,22.22439024390244,6.742157984588678,0.7266497560975607,631,23,127,8,20,210,90,164,0.226,0.586,0.188,-0.6873,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,9,12,0,2,2,0,16,5,0,1,1,32,32,11,0,3,10,0,7,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,9,9,0,1,7,3,0,4,11,6,0,0,3,7,17,6,18,29,1,14,1,2,0,0,7,7,0,2,4,85,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712058264623152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17233345078221804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06382973836448058,0.1156430520599054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260675206612663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675797766301527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681551034192653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831883894902666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706087187806191,0.07480425221347871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547062197915325,0.0,0.059508634528557224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114648588870857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49129044793484206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209333249659248,0.0,0.3393116164563097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853519491746986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791836725978275,0.051155611564114176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989418428263808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30141381889233765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707937575197513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882272564313832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912824014493724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034778796574805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109065337106922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352036317633547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041037833699805,0.10093590365324892,0.0,0.07622952308843445,0.0,0.1067075901321462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Luisvzoa,2019/02/13,"I have problems to stop thinking about sex I´m a 22 years old guy who constantly masturbates every day like 4 or 5 times. I don´t really have human connections besides my close family, so I spend my time alone at the computer writing and reading; I post my content on social media and a little group of people has find it good enough to share. I have fantasies with my female readers looking at their photos and I save them on my cellphone to look at those and masturbate (it´s disgusting I know, but I have to be completely honest with this). I speak with her too, but I never have send to any some sex message: is only a fantasy that I have on the mind. What I really do is speak with them on messages to talk because I feel alone and I have the need to been heard of somebody else. I only text to the female readers, so maybe there is something about female approval here.

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My way of masturbating is not the usual, I lend down on the flool and move around just like I were having sex with somebody. I think that this happens because, when I was like 7 or 8 years, a family friend who tend to show up with his family on weekends used to take me to a up side of the house and, sometimes, lend me down on a sofa, put above me, and start moving his penis around mine (I think that he was 15 years old at the time). I have masturbated on the usual way, but I started to do it short time ago (like 6 months). I prefer it on my way because is faster and I spend several hours looking for porn. I like to see omegle girls getting naked and really hard sex in which one side (I don´t really mind if there is the girl of the man, but I tend to prefere the man) is verbally abusing the other. Something that really breaks up the mind of the person that it´s receiving the insult. I find it estimulating.

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I wrote this because I wanted to receive some comments about it, but If I go to therapy I would make it to make me feel better, but if I feel better I cannot write because I would be happy. I have already go to therapy like five times but I never be able to complete it. I´m really into suicidal thoughts right now, yesterday I was reading a lot about the topic and I thought ´This isn´t really that bad. Life is not for everybody, maybe I should just let me go´.

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I write a lot to avoid this kind of thoughts in my mind but I feel really empty every time that I see somebody proud about his achievements I feel really empty. I have really nothing to feel proud: my writing \[im a Spanish speaker\] is not really that good, I´m in a career that I don´t like, I have not made human connections besides my close family. I don´t really know what I want and I know that I´m supposed to know it because my life is only my responsability, but I don´t really want that anymore. Everything just feels so meaningless.",6.042249999999999,5.880902010714284,6.701428571428572,78.18607142857145,66.39285714285714,9.857142857142858,30.892857142857146,9.516144504307137,2.6417857142857137,2226,75,433,40,32,734,231,560,0.079,0.8059999999999999,0.115,0.9658,0,3,2,0,0,0,68.0,0,0,3,6,19,24,2,1,27,0,38,7,0,4,2,95,79,30,1,13,21,0,8,7,1,3,2,4,1,8,30,23,0,2,21,6,2,8,7,5,0,2,11,17,76,19,66,61,5,72,0,0,5,5,39,31,0,9,35,288,106,5,0.05468673952056046,0.06479484389004124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048476494975926494,0.0,0.0,0.11327793897117977,0.06034817693286231,0.0,0.0,0.17775917826794646,0.19935112283821946,0.03718885816218531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054234550839131236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973655848707304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045661143233032185,0.20001917296661226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673195407037392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467601185709587,0.059096937601586026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0352684228696792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04568375362028135,0.0,0.0,0.05650602061167353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215187333161484,0.0,0.049148915259759465,0.0,0.2062151640992192,0.0,0.1935588105798602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999653783759439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04225083929726228,0.0,0.028571564287556587,0.0,0.09323920297782397,0.09173728503012672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054148469962294436,0.04835930315230085,0.05821505111542598,0.048988577040089964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053855422622952405,0.06310115502453081,0.0,0.0,0.05907106297382265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694782378845596,0.12021760743482815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05592089629973398,0.07725372280479588,0.187020250170843,0.05481047972156134,0.0,0.0,0.13776926396992567,0.0,0.0,0.09298542064813756,0.0,0.051745915204398384,0.07300764655893177,0.0,0.1098803604915677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208720699149017,0.0,0.04365043374338308,0.11624669905894228,0.0,0.0405495244213352,0.08435556969761712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052473401479498805,0.0,0.11476906765414105,0.0,0.0370571500030747,0.12477518905274435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03791289948089634,0.0477503515834778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052374779649655735,0.0,0.0,0.05232782411568093,0.0,0.05497527779697133,0.0,0.0,0.1094030770578632,0.0,0.4554384337212752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467021767472904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715650216370545,0.0,0.0,0.061780449696696535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05574624407771135,0.0,0.08420104767057679,0.054086583722143054,0.0,0.07741511140751259,0.0,0.0,0.045720562949287884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059818417018501165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04111762227075468,0.043955129729750735,0.0,0.0,0.12507810527673738,0.0,0.0,0.10512316359304416,0.0,0.1302454878337304,0.19132966556129066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0472317845113489,0.12045943499506545,0.0,0.09676696756137196,0.13022336511966462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769578143239465,0.0,0.19935112283821946,0.10564940182816927
mentalhealth,poupower,2019/02/13,"Looking for ideas to help my friend struggling with depression My best friend is currently stuck in bed with a severe concussion and can't do anything. She's been struggling with severe depression and anxiety for a long time and being inactive like this really takes a huge toll on her morale. She doesn't feel well (physically and mentally) and even though i try to keep her company as much as i can, I'm looking for ideas to keep her entertained and boost her morale up a little bit, especially when i can't be there. 
She can't turn on lights and have to wear sunglasses whenever she's not in the dark. Keep in mind she can't use any kind of screens, it's too dark to read and she can't listen to music for too long periods. Thanks! ",6.664041095890411,6.258470986301372,6.802842465753429,78.79481164383562,65.16438356164383,11.409589041095893,31.948630136986303,10.9516,3.2534547945205485,588,20,120,15,8,189,87,146,0.147,0.687,0.16699999999999998,0.6435,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,0,2,5,0,13,1,1,2,0,21,26,12,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,11,0,3,3,2,0,0,7,4,1,0,2,6,15,8,22,22,3,14,2,2,3,0,14,8,0,0,7,75,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580526914935804,0.0,0.1077751072100042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593470264941028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478480137241748,0.0,0.15380774451711668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24268463802378426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305189092181587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123467642209469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21769170825343914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443090330700173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31807951090172903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3756698431627352,0.0,0.14670796187743548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882831613496901,0.14120177444084894,0.0,0.2493540383059421,0.23661247064170104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14197692509787058,0.0,0.14225166589875154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356521311448214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092112209503546,0.0,0.09025325549293464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183153720690939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945629952095003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592648075538033,0.0,0.0,0.1297061355528929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841682940293346,0.0,0.08215000859224629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956503072655658,0.15324024533381464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167767581838435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667073381030206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MysticalOwlett,2019/02/13,"I'm not sure what's wrong with me I'm kinda embarrassed about what I'm about to say. I'm not sure if I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but it's something I've never discussed with anybody, so I don't really know what to make of the issue im having or if it's normal. (Though personally the thoughts and feelings im having seem out of the norm..)

I've struggled with my mental health since I was a small.. (like really small..) i had really bad aniexty and had a lot of feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness when I was 9. Something I would really wished that I would get bit by a car and that I would never wake up one day.. As years passed my mental health steadily got better. My aniexty was at a point where it no longer affected my daily life and I no longer had those thoughts. my freshman year of high school was probably the highest point in my life where I felt the best. I think it was the only point where i felt normal. When my junior year started, my mental health started to go downhill, and I steadily became more anxious.

I had a lot of difficulty with thoughts about college and the process of applying.. everytime I tried to do something related to it, I would breakdown crying.. I'm not sure why I would have to have such extreme reactions..  I would also have the same reaction to things like learning how to drive and things like that.. 

I'm  19 now. I've made some progress with driving and applying to college... but it's very slow progress..which my parents are displeased about.. I don't think it's the process of physically doing things which is difficult but I always feel like I have to be so careful with myself so I don't just snap and breakdown when I'm doing those things... I don't why im having such difficulty..I know those things aren't necessarily easy, but i don't know why I'm throwing things out of proportion.. I've always thought that I was a self aware person and that I could help myself, but I don't why im doing that...I could feel my mental health slowly deteriorate(sometimes I feel it wouldn't be so bad I passed away in my sleep, but I keep reasoning against it)... sometimes I feel like I'm making this up, but I don't really know...  

Tbh I wrote this when I was really upset, and in the process of writing this, I felt better and now have better clarity of my mind, I feel like my issues are from my aniexty acting up.. and the fact that I that I don't have any friends anymore(haha..)  maybe I would benefit from trying to socialize more often..  sometimes my aniexty has me thinking if I make a mistake, it would be the end of the world..maybe it would be helpful to have someone I could talk and tell me that it won't.

I'm still going to post this to get others insight, it would probably be useful..",3.913675406871612,5.0681044339963846,4.8664877938517215,84.79611505424954,71.56781193490053,7.772314647377938,27.568218806509947,8.158263871857827,1.6960336708860757,2164,76,441,31,40,706,205,553,0.11,0.787,0.103,-0.1544,1,0,3,0,0,1,81.0,0,0,0,5,25,26,0,3,21,0,58,8,2,9,6,106,108,38,0,21,15,1,10,6,1,12,6,1,0,3,39,24,0,1,25,0,0,9,18,10,0,1,21,11,60,16,53,67,8,48,0,2,0,0,15,21,0,10,23,293,99,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0440403134021066,0.09164708091056883,0.0,0.0,0.037450214893733805,0.0,0.0,0.06221463179327792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174108147215563,0.0,0.09196408337749996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05779368853867629,0.14611765375643695,0.06012334327360035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056148624399666315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319093005295903,0.0,0.06049298256086728,0.035516283120937533,0.056775853228023726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04877662053171696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19491910773862067,0.1180283465360436,0.1586305855194812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042547770738818116,0.0,0.05754472039731204,0.0,0.06259631442678643,0.0,0.0440453641365646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23415188134413614,0.0,0.0,0.07382595243155912,0.058185607242964114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379448159148261,0.11495977473071038,0.0,0.04894969584469172,0.0,0.0,0.12106247556217753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779664833383902,0.16142965326948552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363890577307132,0.0,0.05210957636360436,0.14704146282705308,0.0,0.1106525802718633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22199473586688126,0.0,0.05560607995990968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494840575318867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791590842721904,0.05284217528384913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037317581112926684,0.041884029019772666,0.0,0.0,0.06114990409676675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617186525349898,0.0,0.0,0.1561798801839342,0.0,0.0527428603571921,0.0,0.11875185202036626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21167961906981048,0.05662223025916376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04379472388233127,0.0,0.05573486119732563,0.0,0.05013463223199546,0.05745113476351243,0.0,0.0,0.045555356764988085,0.0,0.055110839940911566,0.0561380188422044,0.04666153743620765,0.12718919665892184,0.16340008405973244,0.0,0.07795917114717148,0.0,0.04397982626183307,0.0,0.0,0.057572237770867875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571149032683124,0.0,0.0,0.04426403862366883,0.04813454102708632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21952062422753135,0.10586195063315428,0.05410704496814081,0.17488110684621494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477928079639677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04756372115676172,0.0,0.0454393988349112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19877229344234945,0.0,0.06332901067503102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912090683572591,0.06021156795651185,0.0,0.10639188717771787
mentalhealth,sixpack222,2019/02/13,"Struggling with Hybristophilia ! ( Please be respectfull ! )  I noticed I had a deep empathy with female persons that got in trouble with the law and I mean serious troble.. Even fictional characters from movies or books and it was more than simple empathy it is something called in psychology empathic identification wich is the highest degree of one's capability to feel or be another person.

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I don't want to give the name of a real life cases that affected me but the feelings are hell.. basically I don't want consciously to think about these persons but I do nontheless , and I can actually feel emotional pain that isn't mine originally , different situations that affects the person in question affect me as well as if I am that person and for like 24 hours straight I can't stop thinking about this or get it out of my mind. So far it happened with about 4 people in real life and two fictional characters,one from a book and one from a tv show. Sometimes I can actually feel physical pain in certain cases just from the de-personalization. It happend to me recently as I saw an article about a previous case I watched and got it all back so that's why I write now. This is no joke for me , I actually cry during these episodes and usually I'm not an emotional person in regards to stranger's personal lives

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Later I found out I have a psychological condition called "" *Hybristophilia* "" or Bonnie&Clyde syndrome , it usually affects women but also men . As I said, basically I am super empathic for women who commited crimes ,not all but some..it depends . Empathic identification so intense that it makes me cry in some cases for these women and i forget about the victim. I know this aint right but i can,t help it , i want desperatly to help them be better people and offer compassion.     

I do feel the need to nurture  them so that they can be better people .The bad thing is I almost competly ignore the victims when this happends so that's why I don't speak publicly about this condition, I know how judgemental people are about this . It's not about fixing someone but getting them out of harm , to themselves or others . And yes I do believe people do change actually .. I know from my personal experience friends, family and myself included , they can change to 180. People are influenced by others but the change must come from themselves , that's also true if you meant it in this way . But certainly other people can help in that change too.

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 I think my overall question is for myself ,thinking : ""does this make me a bad person?"" ""mabey I identify because I feel the same as them or I am just as bad of a character ?"" I don't know ..And it's frustrating because there are some people that I want to talk about this but I feel they can't understand me and therefore think I'm a psychopat or something..

​

*This is a throw-away account*",5.381843689148521,7.365119644981411,6.2064577801380825,73.38054522924412,69.09293680297398,9.510426624181273,32.883873251903,9.899998389431053,3.615897362365022,2331,108,391,59,42,766,233,538,0.115,0.7609999999999999,0.124,0.7842,1,0,2,0,0,0,91.0,0,1,7,4,26,26,4,2,24,1,38,4,0,11,7,106,76,47,0,8,23,0,7,1,1,1,4,2,0,13,42,22,0,2,25,5,1,1,12,15,1,3,8,11,56,11,59,63,6,28,1,0,2,0,38,16,1,15,11,281,98,2,0.0,0.0,0.176053821521498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04516355815017868,0.0,0.0,0.07213677724112927,0.0,0.3909476219267613,0.383630635229339,0.0,0.047293819452526996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04237520784983193,0.03468097662916673,0.1129759091894319,0.05498803266657756,0.0,0.0,0.050814981916158034,0.0,0.07977884976873913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921092262305184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190849518073806,0.03885174080276933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908578006250217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047122428871029416,0.0,0.0,0.039469431289671855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014683027522633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02978972274295195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411882079749215,0.04251854714094452,0.0,0.15963596951047107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049452475064000016,0.03484601746437559,0.0,0.04712830536425528,0.04326635061114148,0.0,0.0,0.07214505020011516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03988392065667912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069360332222648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444167980680168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914844102211504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371434553297453,0.022034763981827528,0.0,0.039826262778921234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021243055378408,0.0,0.0,0.04912975711934083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045540586492835405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033442872607018906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134940359661315,0.0,0.0,0.06112513349626161,0.0,0.09598430872038974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501467103441959,0.39381693071260665,0.0,0.0495089126655435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105006414340384,0.0,0.0,0.1026728552525443,0.0,0.0,0.04453319811102139,0.0,0.0,0.038517219861852206,0.042902729343968486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050697009293588384,0.0,0.0,0.03821513372340486,0.06944409215174474,0.04460744620266826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037707642298012316,0.0,0.0471508417007742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036251616386494726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029964043445736874,0.1444990464647404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04405851026428246,0.04695320937573959,0.0,0.0,0.09934788622906368,0.0,0.1064103024603261,0.03580020129543812,0.0,0.0,0.04055249175995497,0.0,0.08139583682590956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.383630635229339,0.0
mentalhealth,jackmc121,2019/02/13,"Help with a close friend So pretty much as the title says, I myself am not perfect this last year I’ve had a lot of stuff happen to me, mainly losing my younger brother to cancer, my own mental health is not that great have diagnosed ptsd and panic disorder due to this, but I deal with and am doing well most days. 

Sorry for rambling was just a bit of background more than anything, so a close friend of mine has recently told me that there mental has slipped into a hole again and they are self harming and are having suicidal thoughts, I’ve recommended the hospital and they’ve contacted them awaiting an appointment for counselling and more. 
(They are already on meds and in a therapy programme)

I just want to know I guess really what I can do as a friend to just brighten there day up bit more and check in on them with out it feeling like I’m checking up so much.
 ",6.207894736842108,6.297815549707607,6.191280701754388,81.13113157894738,66.01754385964911,9.179181286549706,31.719883040935674,8.841846274778883,2.4494416374269004,693,25,134,10,10,219,110,171,0.135,0.708,0.157,0.5078,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,4,2,10,10,0,1,10,0,15,3,0,0,1,29,23,14,1,1,6,1,1,1,3,0,3,1,0,1,7,15,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,3,1,0,4,2,15,7,24,19,11,17,0,1,0,0,14,10,0,3,8,101,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586784148198054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832883795793232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139679709651375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854683179702752,0.1482435811719424,0.0,0.14594619094315384,0.0,0.0,0.16479847092258462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727057239179339,0.1027252712524033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332807987864068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853155449571307,0.15840346582236586,0.0,0.12715508497521666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284452568767998,0.0,0.0,0.09638096963448084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902450558867037,0.1172099429036524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024967055361236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608668397004089,0.0,0.12224709924720716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972086603160512,0.0,0.2898177022021607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140781906796247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870932070105835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628849669025334,0.0,0.0,0.16808554215250165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211705037700932,0.0,0.14197758136089358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143494344097093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000676300767962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096374406937247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16460781899213936,0.1572854735957578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644390641332674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415505044933345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373997360340053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481244339073887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292865759131513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259754787845488
mentalhealth,Lawxilim,2019/02/13,"Diagnosis Is there somewhere to go to get a full mental health evaluation? I'm living in the United States, and it seems like the care options for mental health here are laughable at best, but I want to know what kind of issues I am dealing with since I understand I don't have the knowledge and perspective to diagnose myself",14.125483870967741,8.281552516129036,12.677419354838712,59.38612903225808,56.09677419354839,15.625806451612902,47.1290322580645,12.161744961471696,5.534490322580645,264,10,46,5,2,85,50,62,0.0,0.818,0.182,0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,0,5,3,0,0,0,10,13,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,9,13,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,1,32,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355429635443887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228838368417817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23139469144871175,0.0,0.22780867511717684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172641366335826,0.0,0.12755823152881726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4771526912872406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23426404087659086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23372669842312566,0.12335003608937566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965331998606223,0.0,0.19819054744346984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4523789647233393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432784531877726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18566462894242144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336569294001367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238447839875678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,poppypoppypoppyx,2019/02/13,"How do I control the feeling that always tells me I’m embarrassing myself and that everyone hates me? The voice that punishes me when I’m being too loud and inspects every last interaction? Is it just me? I am struggling with extremely low self esteem since leaving an abusive relationship. I struggle with keeping myself alive and I’m so sensitive. I’m on a waiting list for therapy as I decided to reach out last week. Anyway, I’ve long been adopting means of punishing myself.

What is all that about? I can go 96h without food because I don’t deserve it. I will self harm not because something has upset me but because I am angry with myself for not trying harder today. I avoid going out of the house because I am too fat after gaining over double my weight after recovering from anorexia, so I should stay out of the public eye. I don’t allow myself to talk to people. I don’t allow myself to get out of bed... not because I don’t want to but because I don’t deserve to have an eventful day because I am a terrible person. I used to overdose nightly and not allow myself medical help.

I have been medicated for 6 months. I’ve tried Zoloft, Celexa and Prozac. I’m on Pregabalin now which makes me feel calm but I become very loving and chatty and then I cry because I am so stupid and embarrassing for getting so relaxed and lovey and chatty when I don’t deserve to be! I know people think I’m pathetic when I’m that way and I don’t want them to.


And yes, that too. Me trying to anticipate people’s negativity. They don’t even have to say anything negative, I already have decided for them that they will think I’m pathetic or ugly etc. I have accepted previous negativity from people as ongoing hatred from the entire world, and evidence I should be dead.

Is this app just related to the abuse maybe? Or is this something else? Is it potentially bpd?",3.602194081578247,5.613008942148767,5.360245267928555,77.48852039456148,73.90358126721763,7.879463254243313,28.789567226517374,8.654491914285503,2.474813987381144,1478,62,263,29,31,504,179,363,0.233,0.672,0.096,-0.9958,0,1,2,0,1,1,34.0,0,0,4,2,17,17,4,6,10,1,35,9,2,7,1,56,61,29,1,4,12,0,3,0,0,4,5,3,1,3,14,20,3,4,9,1,0,2,16,13,0,0,2,7,46,4,40,52,3,29,0,1,1,1,15,9,0,2,16,190,60,0,0.0,0.2334361931995825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870809962633024,0.0,0.08196810969391181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810652357474475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48040565679878294,0.10879642037270554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406974243982068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104872042862542,0.0,0.0,0.10820847496713328,0.0635307215866013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229236229262052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986455352654936,0.06506484514074995,0.0,0.08299882064400096,0.09413040967404368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996191080941996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911853511813456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293469048807223,0.0,0.11197086729639028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725810964886113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602909451172385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366717265667453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875601055400032,0.0,0.0,0.0541384525186373,0.16059739649953167,0.0,0.1043077367626911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717814182426797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890901069119635,0.0,0.06575610829504996,0.0,0.09896641275993452,0.1073061359568668,0.0,0.19847667600145946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862964452741013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244484696324427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731773825398203,0.08601502548956615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057627423388317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833900863038906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20553457325850216,0.0,0.0,0.08148838879225476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167543319490132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499842245364313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596782588335605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917850819364228,0.08610197509344371,0.0,0.1126546303513272,0.0,0.0,0.1262423039293143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337584558569444,0.0,0.0,0.20064522176540006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850809054580259,0.0,0.08128096587735151,0.1162073563205544,0.07819255564728149,0.07901868185297352,0.11995849230216947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496000675310054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sharkbits,2019/02/13,"How do I even find a reason for me to be a person That title is dark... I know... but today I’m just really depressed and that was the best summation I could find for it.

I’m in high school, and I have a loving girlfriend who shares all my interests... I like to think I’m relatively smart, I’m terribly not out of shape, and my teachers seem to like me as well.  My family is supportive of me and whatever I choose, which is great.  I don’t really drink, I don’t get in fights, I’m not a drug user, and my job pays well enough.

Based on all that, I should be really happy.  I should think my life is amazing and everything is amazing... it’s not.  

Apart from my girlfriend, I feel really alone.  My friends have gone off to drink, party, all that... thats not what I want to do and I feel like I’m losing them as friends because of that.  Lately I feel that statistically I am below average at everything I do, no matter what it is.  I hate going to school, because I hate doing homework, and I don’t do it... I value my free time a lot, and it is something I am very affectionate (best word I could use there) of it.  My grades have steadily been falling since the eighth grade, mainly because I don’t do my homework.  That goes full circle to me feeling below average, making me want to do less work...

I look back at what I used to want to be; a physicist, an engineer, a chemist, an animator, a painter, an architect; and I think about how much I have procrastinated about my ability to achieve these goals.  Every year, right up until this one, was “the year that mattered”, or “the year I would get my shit together”.  None of them turned out like that.

I feel really alone so much of the time, like I don’t have anyone who supports me, even though I do.  There are so many things going on in my head that seem like life changing things if they were said aloud, and I don’t know how to deal with that.

I’m always comparing myself to others, justifying myself by telling myself “in some way, you are better than them”.  I’m not.  But I’m a numbers guy.  It’s the way my brain is wired... I don’t think qualitative, I think quantitative.  It’s a struggle, and I am always trying to prove to myself that I am better in some way.  And over time that’s gotten harder.

One of the depressing things that I’ve come to fully realise as of late is that if I never instigated conversation, no one would talk to me except to tell me what to do.  No one would ask me to hang out, no one would ask me how I was, no one would truly care about what was happening to me in that instant.  No one would wonder, no one does wonder, “when is the next time I can see them?”

In the 8th grade, was contemplating suicide.  No one knew.  To me telling people that is like giving yourself a get out of jail free card, a way for me to justify living.  Whats the point in having people care about you if it is only because they feel socially obligated to do so?  I’d rather be completely alone in my worst moments than be surrounded by people who don’t actually give a fuck.

That was a lot of info, sorry about that.

I am really depressed rn, I have been falling behind in school, and I don’t know who I expect to respond with what.  Honestly, it would be good enough for me to know that someone read this and gave a shit... I don’t ask for as much as that though... I guess I just wanted to vent. 

If there is someone that you can walk by, that seems like a normal person, but someone you can pass by, talk to them... you can’t always tell, but sometimes it’ll make a person like me’s day.  Just talking, and genuinely caring.",3.3452855637513186,4.257841742465757,4.788561643835617,85.73500263435197,72.67123287671231,7.916754478398316,24.586406743940987,8.263242389622931,1.2883129610115909,2752,77,595,42,52,922,274,730,0.123,0.6990000000000001,0.17800000000000002,0.9942,1,3,4,0,1,1,120.0,0,5,7,8,27,48,6,1,30,0,78,11,4,9,5,106,145,41,1,22,19,0,6,9,4,10,3,1,2,4,54,23,2,0,27,3,3,9,26,13,2,9,14,9,92,37,88,113,19,60,0,4,2,2,45,30,3,15,26,430,146,15,0.0,0.0,0.050471218806359006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069883726083972,0.0,0.0,0.1291054460248752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03616379753504652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505353856060876,0.0,0.0,0.03976945560719127,0.0,0.12611202662736445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855381116451257,0.09148420063817801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773657850789043,0.0,0.0,0.1581958339486214,0.0,0.054712858275643914,0.04455216465324091,0.05422739247823035,0.0,0.0,0.08258835674850233,0.0,0.0,0.033355094549775234,0.053321006202039264,0.13363897342092446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045260484221646455,0.0,0.0,0.1013317386804749,0.059978731864749724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688108550236752,0.0,0.06832108961891296,0.0,0.043576295703279935,0.0,0.0929651275627386,0.0,0.04875697391929789,0.0,0.15690699018349052,0.03694874868951328,0.0,0.0,0.09454221017351644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991742328683046,0.04781426823279418,0.08106463096758541,0.09922899394176063,0.058787288609659163,0.043380247356484485,0.0,0.0570214368383373,0.05697536525201995,0.051210890319418,0.04573578849744892,0.05505685755640634,0.0,0.10212550281356617,0.053079598633665084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05464497578241862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051324078294869464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369574640049472,0.0,0.11668473191105028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306267246476203,0.2274098332421019,0.0,0.045669670912744896,0.0,0.04343173913909703,0.057861404113134125,0.0,0.08794091839404845,0.046679281832008535,0.0,0.06904694782718226,0.05243592015474577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406036142577955,0.0,0.03988962043271778,0.0,0.05500476261931811,0.0,0.05067457814712565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31542104164923285,0.039335359033008215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756832123008886,0.13547961850212428,0.0,0.0,0.04889207815439687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05173395465946114,0.0,0.19879877869797635,0.053176731289208634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044168561969506484,0.04919752428878736,0.0,0.0,0.1570300776090605,0.04121411072222022,0.1412517232692007,0.0,0.0,0.1061795883375055,0.04278328413395106,0.0,0.0,0.0527219844470415,0.13146645900891485,0.03981655086506235,0.0511523614365358,0.057896259170045615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054068930235477514,0.0,0.05657324011461073,0.11738239200258248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471163058532375,0.1808220935283633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308132683538684,0.16570030524538412,0.10162919326754352,0.0,0.12063329489867397,0.0,0.04902447320593498,0.0,0.0,0.03511445683708926,0.05625646309257962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933887653281286,0.0,0.04267438231817432,0.12202308617470475,0.1642115827787916,0.0,0.0,0.0930049080251214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217617754409798,0.037652745772766436,0.0,0.0,0.2571826222228004,0.0,0.0,0.09991787271370653
mentalhealth,lonerstoic,2019/02/13,"My Life Purpose/Question 1. My life purpose: to embark on a journey of continuous healing past abuse i.e. voices, trauma, neglect, and emotional pain via healthy coping strategies i.e. meditation, distraction, journaling, support
2. Question: do you think that everything in life is a coping strategy?

Thanks.",7.901250000000001,11.741411625,7.3290000000000015,59.61600000000002,68.16666666666666,9.673333333333334,45.01666666666666,9.888512548439397,6.306161666666666,250,17,27,7,5,78,40,48,0.257,0.583,0.16,-0.7906,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,1,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,2,4,5,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,13,4,0,0.0,0.318815766418772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026787512133178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418317283668899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5701774253792098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28632006165012064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568672802119214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30143115037241425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053487633700837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477326860910763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17241558102039795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DeusOff,2019/02/13,"When should you go to hospital? (UK) UK, 21F.

I’m severely struggling with my mental health right now. This is the worst I’ve ever been. I’m suicidal and I’m scared that I’m going to do something. I don’t know if anyone can help me because there’s never enough inpatient beds and doctors here are awful. I’m so scared. I’m worried that nothing will be done. I feel like my life is falling apart and all options available to me are wrong and bad

If anyone in the UK knows what to do please tell me because I’m at a crisis point. I don’t want to have to go to hospital because I don’t want my family to know, and I’m in uni so I’d worry about getting kicked out",1.1643356643356633,2.8496017972028014,3.223076923076924,91.54692307692312,79.97902097902099,6.078321678321679,22.88811188811189,7.010146845296331,0.6653888111888113,519,17,116,6,13,176,85,143,0.262,0.674,0.064,-0.9862,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,3,3,1,16,3,0,0,3,20,34,10,1,5,2,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,1,0,4,7,0,0,4,0,0,4,4,6,0,0,2,1,11,1,14,29,3,15,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,3,5,66,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187996942327828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306368210099241,0.2861280625852738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014252816479718,0.0,0.16011199031250556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166408411978078,0.0,0.0,0.14152622186450586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749572379559586,0.0,0.07911042676003867,0.11177441898510287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174342702630592,0.0,0.2667579523438294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630871688639487,0.0,0.0,0.10487124298406662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579575042266533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051169598289344,0.0764380177758957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576739826544201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067091053258755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150126735151479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174511828286956,0.14790443039368698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361522451098007,0.0,0.0,0.3132857259530003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675425925607105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044986628183875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635650320123512,0.0,0.1711408712931606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675215779052255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456727282645125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177836405114717,0.0,0.0,0.1710634747170478,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stefan122GG,2019/02/13,"I feel so empty I have been posting about me cracking my head for a while on Reddit just because I need attention. If you have seen any of my posts you would know that I'm a 14 year old boy that 2 weeks ago cracked his head while skiing on ice at school. I then fell and got a huge hole in my fourhead.

Arriving at the hospital I got stiched by a wonderful woman. Although I could only see her eyes, her voice sueth my heart. I then stayed at the hospital for a few more hours to see if my skull is fine and if I still have my reflexes. 

I had to wear a bandaid that annoyed me when I had it but now I miss it. I miss the hospital, I miss the doctor, I miss everything. This experience turned my mind around. I now want to get back to the hospital so I can see her one more time. Just one more time. I feel like I want to crack open my head again. I felt great that day. I don't know why. I lost a lot of blood, I was weakened, but still felt amazing.

I recently had a dream where I the back of my neck was cut and a few bones were removed so they could transfer them to the doctors spine wich was outside her body. Then I was told I would only live 6 more years. To shorten the story, in the end, my parents ended up in a crash accident.

I feel fucked up. I don't even know what comments to expect. If I were you, I wouldn't even know what to comment. I just want some encouragement and aknolegement. Fuck man. Also, you know betatine's smell. Yeah, I smell it and I feel it brings back memories. ",1.0451428571428565,2.8848148952380974,2.55261904761905,95.4632142857143,81.0,6.104761904761905,21.61111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.4195206349206351,1152,35,272,15,30,375,162,315,0.113,0.772,0.115,-0.1048,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,4,2,1,21,14,4,0,19,1,22,17,12,0,0,42,56,22,0,14,9,1,6,1,0,3,3,1,0,3,11,7,0,0,13,2,0,3,3,9,0,2,17,14,56,5,27,34,8,46,0,5,5,2,19,14,2,7,27,181,67,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976189008688645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097849637370443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886104699749053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014388242953698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23359069653033546,0.0,0.061727850538750836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124782978782492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169755979502734,0.0,0.0,0.06530505761066469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072901333928033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937462673279994,0.0,0.0,0.13376405475116732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100698248970107,0.099052824553544,0.0,0.0,0.2048026979938091,0.07234097802390717,0.19445314685451304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187228582841804,0.052904765793477186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619755666789001,0.11164076336865274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31176942774510724,0.0,0.0,0.11999493741662501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972182453506437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782523692779438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04947107767882089,0.0,0.08941544103753711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053849518138546,0.08608859935156138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022448842104306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750838515860303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625653155473988,0.0,0.13723433706009935,0.15402731861265798,0.0,0.0,0.11243851155054536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396036023528304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999831586511932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248167886881264,0.24207605267649066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107930901084086,0.16173455301930914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809236908871686,0.0,0.0,0.0967593578848212,0.0,0.0,0.1101430415000248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917933032490596,0.0,0.0812255778284051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137242789775576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981338587017787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386601582091946,0.0,0.0,0.1304177072394205
mentalhealth,RCB2M,2019/02/13,"Is this inappropriate? I love baking and do it frequently. I like eating my baked goods but I get the most pleasure from other people eating and enjoying them. 

Is it inappropriate to bring my therapist a slice of cake now and then? I have a good relationship with her and have been seeing her for approximately 5 months. ",3.3007263922518177,6.301073067796607,5.0971428571428605,73.53084745762712,81.03389830508475,8.11719128329298,21.987893462469735,8.841846274778883,2.0945961259079904,257,8,45,7,7,87,45,59,0.0,0.716,0.284,0.962,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,3,0,6,5,0,0,0,7,10,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,9,6,5,9,1,5,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,1,5,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5769500636006657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729181457086868,0.0,0.0,0.4729230447412754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773210580942274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25444423943596645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502623686125808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19544816321506794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026770889233479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246541215969219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273314054314453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hereforthemadness,2019/02/13,"Son diagnosed ADHD and ODD Hello, I took my son, 8 years old, to see his pediatrician a few weeks ago because myself and his teachers felt he may be ADHD. Pediatrician decided he wasnt ADHD but depressed. I honestly didn't feel like she was listening to me, talking over me, and bringing up issues that he doesnt even have. She ended up putting him on Paxil and after about 6 days he went insane. He attacked some kids at school, attacked my mom after school, then attacked myself. I took him off the paxil that day. After a week of trying to get his dr to call me, she finally does and referred him to a psychiatrist. He saw her this morning and she was absolutely amazing. I felt like she actually listened to me. She diagnosed him ADHD and ODD. I have felt in my heart that ODD was more than likely an issue so hearing her say that on top of ADHD i feel like she really actually listened to me.

So, why im here. She wants to do some blood work before starting meds. He has a follow up next Wednesday to start the meds. She said shes not sure what shes going to prescribe just yet. It'll either be Concerta or Intuniv. I just wanted to see if any parents with younger children on here have experience with either of these and what your experience has been.

Also, any adults that suffered with either of these and grew up not on meds, please give me some insight on what he may be dealing with internally. I try to be calm and understanding that he (what seems like) literally cannot control his impulses and temper, but it can be so hard. What worked for you to get your mind on track?",3.8856895633652826,5.3935703738019205,5.292416134185307,80.34722910010653,72.09904153354633,7.900372736954208,27.418663471778487,8.472884824447931,1.9507104366347177,1249,45,241,21,24,419,164,313,0.14400000000000002,0.8009999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9826,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,3,0,4,11,15,4,0,7,0,25,5,2,1,1,46,53,20,0,3,11,4,6,5,0,3,3,6,0,3,16,15,0,1,10,0,0,8,6,6,0,0,14,15,43,9,41,31,8,41,0,2,3,0,51,15,0,8,23,165,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.15953136657571151,0.0,0.4911732633685454,0.0,0.07245688266366315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653668210902186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111709389711946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27897047360470745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049827467082489835,0.0,0.06955405199837235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346487800034291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167748059079237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543006373995628,0.08426954200610241,0.07040186652189304,0.16592716623662498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153053830005747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239668343344975,0.0,0.0,0.05398798092564392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991327453629606,0.0,0.0,0.08265960667369564,0.11678902374669665,0.2354473958532856,0.08954131518037749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541073285636118,0.07841170364934592,0.04645427983996928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322228185466663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921260364746129,0.09686136390637563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829237924147841,0.17062900889880436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996682593887895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723815248436981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253330640680549,0.09573198127030684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693058297739034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577155663341339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076172560993127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972511277464375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217048808325704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523642344906658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775271201636948,0.06500230492399127,0.0,0.16544889983455408,0.13027114385615118,0.07441231186551905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571087485665199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703824324888069,0.0,0.0,0.06569888517881177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816305519548661,0.11099112361992124,0.0,0.0,0.08509340600610113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642381416388453,0.0,0.13113253645403786,0.0,0.0,0.07577307166293161,0.07375692825176958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901424476201596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263737484562611
mentalhealth,solarpoweredJJ,2019/02/13,"The rain is killing me So I think I'm someone who's mood fluctuates with the weather. I live by the beach and most of the year it's really sunny, but for a few months it just rains constantly.

It's raining right now while I'm writing this. I just got off of work and while I was working I was talking with my co-workers having fun like usual and the rain started to come down.

I don't think my personality or anything really changed but I felt anxious. I felt really not okay, like I just wanted to wrap myself with blankets and go to sleep. 

Even right now as I'm writing this I'm in my bed under the covers just hoping to sleep the rain off. I wish I didn't get so easily depressed during this type of weather.",1.6566634707574297,3.5968761476510096,3.449304889741132,89.28887583892616,79.46979865771813,6.136337488015339,23.394534995206136,7.1686216300943375,0.8558279961649093,562,19,119,7,14,188,87,149,0.08199999999999999,0.759,0.16,0.9175,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,9,8,1,0,8,1,6,2,2,0,0,26,22,12,1,3,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,7,8,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,6,2,16,5,18,16,2,18,1,1,0,0,5,7,0,3,11,76,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178714136413449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241860135465014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022579141031274,0.13861325703242547,0.0,0.1738909865937961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859508672976495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628225171313707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30900555966022875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407098073315303,0.0,0.0914511967006893,0.0,0.12869771315746278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982401882069694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780276207621674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572290116402805,0.0,0.14209010677900005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844010699939049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050399367612484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092570969768841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748395406007034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220606395075423,0.0,0.1363420028003804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113895834930368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293366659046563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20621452789193687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17722415784926396,0.0,0.09491131092882686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850432845811124,0.0,0.0,0.35144216459956323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362341074704412
mentalhealth,Forrox,2019/02/13,"How to support a friend with Bipolar II? I've got a friend, we'll call him C. We're in college. Last semester C was diagnosed with Bipolar II (after a semester of taking antidepressants due to a misdiagnosis for clinical depression). He's been super stressed as of late because he's working extra hard to rebuild his GPA from last semester since around the middle it started going south because he couldn't keep his BP2 under control, which adversely affected his grades. He also lost his scholarship and has been applying for many scholarships this semester. Being a social sciences students is really time-consuming for him, and he's been in a slump as of late because he has so much coming down on him in so little time. He already does counseling, and has a mountain of medication he takes for this. As of late he's been feeling like he doesn't have the motivation to go to classes, saying that it's really not worth it to have to struggle so much but I know the C of only a couple weeks ago wouldn't be so pessimistic about the future. What can I do to help him? I've already said that I'm gonna make an effort to be there for him. But aside from listening to him what does that mean? I don't wanna tell him what to do or act like I know exactly what he's going through, but I want, within reason, to help him not make an impulsive decision that he'll regret like dropping out or investing in crypto.",6.915391095066184,6.4560311046931425,7.6293285198555925,73.25523225030085,64.66787003610108,10.996774969915764,35.07316486161251,10.504223727775694,3.6574281107099886,1124,46,208,25,15,376,149,277,0.07400000000000001,0.826,0.1,0.8457,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,6,9,13,0,2,14,0,22,5,0,7,1,34,45,17,0,5,7,0,2,3,2,4,5,3,0,0,14,8,0,2,7,0,4,5,6,6,0,0,8,5,18,7,44,29,3,31,0,3,0,0,35,13,0,2,15,131,32,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367952094019348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581403658461847,0.09353425715920208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412074140748197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21389636402477666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943100846024933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075217813464944,0.0,0.0,0.13118253117207318,0.0,0.12941593504231905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073897090173674,0.11871369891962305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047080048411562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913936748296971,0.08355748679761253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807286925276525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994161480195071,0.0,0.09354498407413853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477474086318707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679397093995634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396096406487236,0.0,0.0,0.12855822139790551,0.19067884927082587,0.3958137944563628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714247871508862,0.11722638534109615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276775501803993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614573256502945,0.11858084133967868,0.0,0.1274056178364873,0.0,0.11782664293429936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196066591325807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895466990503997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498573647335468,0.12025614344821728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125739387765238,0.0930126661094624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675195577585913,0.0,0.0,0.11922775941334955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278611797582021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397927217953787,0.12227380045468755,0.0,0.0,0.13272679072906873,0.0,0.0,0.1758813371861442,0.0,0.10222971161808986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640265642756774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898706163045665,0.0,0.09381964873052234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514953603001803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Marieseyo,2019/02/13,"Possible personality disorder? This is about my brother. A twin, aged 16. He has been like this since around 12 but my mother says that he has been odd and difficult his entire life.

Let me just clarify, I do not know his reasons or even the sincerity of his actions so I don’t know if he just acts like this for show. Also, he is very smart when he tries (which is not often) and does not have any physical or learning disability. 

My brother is lazy. Not just lazy like a regular teenager but he has taken the family living room and declared it his own. If he is not at college, he is on his “bed” (the sofa) wearing only underwear. He has absolutely no desire to move and just watches TV all the time yet whenever anyone in my family needs help (eg. Cooking, cleaning) he is out of there fast. I directly asked him if he feels uncomfortable sleeping in the living room in such little clothing but he told me that he is used to the attention being on him.

Secondly, the world is his. He will happily put others down for what seems like no reason, including his twin brother who is actually really nice but sometimes quiet and is usually just in his shadow. He claims that he is the superior twin and that his brother is just his sidekick. He absolutely refuses to make any other friends and is rude to everyone. Everyone. He is verbally abusive to my mother, he acts like my sister and I don’t exist, he insults his classmates, talks badly about every single one of his ‘friends’ (he refuses to call them friends so perhaps close acquaintances is a better word), speaks back to teachers and will mock strangers in the street. A lot of the time, he will insult people on things that he has done before, being blissfully unaware of his hypocrisy. He often says that he is immortal and is superior to other people and things like that... 

He spends absolutely ages in the shower and in making himself look a certain way, even if this is unhelpful in some way (for example, in the morning when we are going to get in the car, he will make us all very late despite knowing that my mum barely has any time to get to work. When she tells him to hurry up, he answers back and tells her that she should calm down and nobody likes her because she’s always prying). Despite wanting to look good, he eats garbage. He says that he will never eat a vegetable in his life because they taste like the earth. He has had a past of bulimia - eating a lot of unhealthy junk food and just making himself throw up - although I don’t think he does this anymore though he is still quite skinny. 

He has done so much more and as this is only text, I feel as though the extremities cannot be explained thoroughly enough but I just want other people’s thoughts. Very rarely, he can actually be a very nice person and is very funny in a dry and cynical manner. If I were to ever propose the idea that there he has any flaw, he would laugh in my face and tell me that I’m the messed up one for thinking it, so I ask you, reddit.",5.477184452493732,6.090192637457048,6.217103185659893,78.50540679855116,67.6426116838488,9.178489830036224,30.85000464381908,9.21561531244674,2.606625931085725,2353,88,446,42,37,773,274,582,0.095,0.765,0.14,0.9853,1,0,0,0,0,0,65.0,2,1,2,3,33,30,5,0,27,0,57,13,4,7,5,88,85,44,0,11,25,8,2,8,3,7,2,5,6,2,29,23,8,2,16,3,1,8,12,8,0,3,9,11,49,22,53,64,10,58,0,0,3,0,99,30,0,13,26,298,78,3,0.0,0.08695529245042903,0.14323634273405966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586900531856912,0.06106645976657998,0.0,0.0,0.19963119552402336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278327944022024,0.0513160789535206,0.0,0.0,0.06533276722920463,0.13721971224675975,0.0,0.0,0.11286494577342975,0.06127768546193677,0.0894758730623725,0.0,0.06244958746625739,0.0,0.0,0.06490759797002638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493951896813851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411143679777341,0.0,0.1284483787711591,0.1502071484165869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22528924669897504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583161332769613,0.0,0.09694696541968637,0.06638556603708727,0.06183434216620628,0.14025481120979486,0.0,0.0,0.13837134890232242,0.0,0.07421650052848378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874362553203782,0.0,0.1701030761153293,0.0,0.07668661823175005,0.0,0.041709296995609206,0.06155615145813384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049191851056233166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284851344399446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099987342271805,0.0,0.08278725304795535,0.0,0.0,0.07504637097491104,0.10367522562096766,0.2868376480318328,0.07355618143975813,0.12960964268581232,0.0,0.12325843559934345,0.0,0.0,0.12478731270356053,0.0,0.0,0.1959539023945453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800208401012096,0.05395018325274145,0.054417844740342836,0.056602985611994325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946209057514334,0.11163298809240124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005917468471462,0.15263840750660826,0.12816284559920949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273633427053585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377734201338126,0.0,0.07805942736841301,0.0,0.0,0.047015590723671584,0.15091453482907402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508830946128576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668116097466313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607090664187326,0.0,0.07344312238898601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258470617175787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058609445369682024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898819922821779,0.19243860145736846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751427057021264,0.09405085224641252,0.1442108423664793,0.058263558255502515,0.12838310909089082,0.0,0.0,0.07012740560489743,0.0,0.04982707465154339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827927918114413,0.06338550089124034,0.08082884971669227,0.3027726789768041,0.08657478958376959,0.11650732391686325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342888210287165,0.0,0.0,0.05213423623709722,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jonnypoiscaille,2019/02/13,"Continuing a therapy when moving to another country Hi,
I'm planning on moving next month to Germany to start a new job, I am currently living in Paris, France.
I've recently started therapy again, after a one year break from it, to treat a suspected form of bipolarity.
I have been willing to move for a long time and this is a great work opportunity. My main preoccupation is that I don't know how I can give a continuity to my therapy and my treatment.
I speak ok German but not enough to speak with a psychiatrist about my issues, I'm afraid. My English is better.
My question is: has anyone already moved from a country to an other while on therapy? Do you think it's doable to see a doctor that doesn't speak my mother tongue? Would it be weird to ask my therapist if we could Skype? What about the prescriptions?
I'll be seeing my therapist in a few days and I'll obviously ask him all this but I wanted to hear stories from others before.
Thank you for your help. ",3.526708115183247,5.424791759162304,5.2520124345549775,78.67026996073301,73.81675392670158,8.544633507853401,27.12074607329843,9.188382445141503,2.3970756544502616,770,29,147,18,16,262,122,191,0.019,0.872,0.108,0.9433,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,3,0,4,5,8,0,1,13,1,17,2,0,1,2,19,31,9,0,4,4,1,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,10,5,0,0,4,0,1,4,3,2,0,1,1,6,20,6,25,25,5,26,0,0,2,0,16,4,0,2,17,102,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261752597764295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989377431045697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994806282018496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378192563792936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729355094275867,0.0,0.0,0.10112301691473967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128990293602772,0.0,0.0,0.07373880444536696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703019007221405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814212445128165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096838051030393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605848182925725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886767866675755,0.0,0.07663861461525594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933957614717206,0.11346321225611952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283739053403921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096289571278858,0.10118587970274087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126381436596544,0.4860944670534817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042873235659376,0.12160017799670908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747865413422185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808516762563066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289536910853964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822257914094852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185860599121232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052674303406272,0.5230236679127269,0.2655113735903141,0.0,0.07326342539244476,0.0,0.0,0.06667163638870234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743974654178689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323971179952333,0.0,0.0,0.08122271379192858,0.0,0.0,0.07363017630023701
mentalhealth,driftwo_od,2019/02/13,"Just needing to vent about college SO… I don't know if anyone knows how universities at Brazil works, so quick explanation: we took a test that avaluates our high school knowledge, and then we choose what we want to study (I believe it's what people in the US call it majors)
Long story short: I wanted to get into Biology, but my grades were good enough to Spanish (to be a spanish teacher, that is) and my classes just started about three days ago and I'm already going insane! Whenever the professors talk about ethimology, translation of latin/greek/spanish texts and researchs about languages I get the feeling I'm in the wrong place and I get sad about it and I start overthinking about the fact that I'm getting ""too old"" for college.
Any advice? ):",4.069034369885434,6.533634375886527,4.373333333333335,83.02615384615386,74.0354609929078,6.891653027823242,28.57665030005456,7.882392219407189,1.991739334424441,601,25,107,9,13,188,96,141,0.11,0.843,0.047,-0.902,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,5,0,0,1,12,3,0,0,7,0,4,0,0,1,1,24,21,11,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,2,1,13,1,17,18,2,17,0,1,0,0,7,7,0,1,8,66,21,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18096640630234245,0.1641605610129072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20436276563156205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593616395668658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948978471507772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20864672980716928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891006167214183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943281145227495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19135170661215764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363808451191584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870184116892821,0.0,0.105248257441309,0.15532934243518653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956643558511428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035521533676399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388812082142903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731670742941834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19432669938687136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838805387024474,0.0,0.19348507691557185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874230798879608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621581474866333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488494322746379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057539063914745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22276185338171364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184607844864649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482118240823754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20247717979127572,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nomnom278,2019/02/13,"How much codine will safely make me feel better? My grandad is in hospital, I can’t visit until Friday afternoon

Today I came home from work numb, having put up walls to be normal and not let on, trying to pretend I didn’t send my manager panicked emails last night 

I normally smoke when I’m home but today I don’t even want it. I want to want it to numb me but I don’t.

I pulled myself out of numbness and I’m sad and scared again

I don’t know what to do 

I’m just waiting for time to pass, sitting here crying, waiting to be tired to go to sleep 

Time feels so long

I have some codine and I’ve taken 60mg in hope it might... I don’t even know... does it even make you feel better? How much can I safely take to make me feel fuzzy or something? How long does a tablet take to act? I don’t feel like this has done anything so far. I want to know so I don’t just keep munching too far, how much would make me od? I don’t want to die, I want to see my grandad, I just want to make the time between more bareable 

I’m so sad.",-0.06416231884058021,1.7411306533333355,1.9132173913043464,98.76965217391304,84.6888888888889,4.62415458937198,17.33816425120773,5.511479884284512,-0.7203256038647341,787,17,193,4,23,261,115,225,0.159,0.715,0.126,-0.9282,0,1,2,0,0,1,23.0,0,1,0,3,18,12,0,1,2,0,22,5,1,9,0,48,56,17,2,11,7,0,5,1,0,3,4,0,2,0,6,6,0,5,8,1,0,8,10,6,0,0,4,6,27,6,25,46,5,30,0,2,1,0,4,8,0,4,14,113,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620340907370573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852923549109892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981038108891087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506707341102558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871785202519944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833414217392361,0.1071994540124042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075665879561198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26483321264110404,0.07483609856057648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953396908607814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015310084961225,0.10404410810309743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310994443927716,0.0,0.0,0.17270976119606607,0.08538828598334862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711780469742843,0.0,0.051177389996671985,0.0,0.0,0.18540754128873385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.349619701354632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112717261747096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310181738830369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830429636145964,0.20527286358740746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530645000178336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487677626919807,0.0,0.08347517470787759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482939998608057,0.0,0.0,0.08064455307861912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575235635857391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324825874184106,0.12039902352140965,0.19858860929495906,0.0,0.0,0.07112091873106778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4325053228635704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626197621482148,0.0,0.0,0.07441405710559873,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SpiritualInsect,2019/02/13,"Hello All, Please Help My Wife (29F, Orange County, CA) Who is Suffering from Schizophrenia  

I am very sorry for the long post. Thank you for taking the time to understand my wife’s situation, and I really hoping this sub-reddit can help us. Based on the information below, can you please kindly refer us to any resources (e.g., medical professionals, specific therapies, self-help, etc.) that you think may be helpful?

​

My wife had been suffering from what our psychiatrist called “high functioning schizophrenia” (e.g., she can do every day task, but not very efficiently; she is barely doing enough in her job to not get fired; she has voices and random thoughts in her head that really disturb her and can affect her mood for hours at a time). We are not sure if the events described below triggered the illness or if the illness is hereditary.

​

This all happened 3 years ago. She was a young, female, and minority mechanical engineer in a middle-aged male dominated Aerospace industry. After spending about a year of time in toxic work environments, she started to break and suffer from psychosis (mostly thoughts about being watched/followed/investigated/etc.). I thought she was being overly anxious because of stress, so mental illness didn’t cross my mind. But after one sleepless night of focusing on a red light that was outside a window (she thought there were cops outside waiting for her), she broke and had to take a leave of absence because she could not fully function after this episode.

​

The first psychiatrist we saw didn’t help a lot. She tried different medications with heart breaking side effects before Seroquel began working (she was not happy with the weight gain and apathy that resulted, but at least the thoughts and voices in her head and her emotional extremes were manageable). After a few months, she began working half time and eventually full time. We eventually switched to a second psychiatrist and a more regular psychologist while she was still on the Seroquel. About 1.5 years ago, she left and joined another company because she no longer wanted to be in the toxic environment (from what I understand, she impressed everybody at the interview). I thought she was getting better because she rocked at a job interview for a very difficult position.

​

At the beginning of the job, she seemed to be doing fine. Around the same time, we were progressively lowering the Seroquel dosage because she was not happy with the weight gain, apathy, and degrading memory functions that might’ve been caused by the Seroquel, and the voices/thoughts were manageable (although she was still feeling irrationally upset at times). Around August of last year, we eventually stopped the Seroquel. That was when she started to really struggle at her job, and she started to want to make irrational decisions (e.g., quit her job, sell our house, move far away, separate from me). She really did not want to return to medication, so we tried to cope with it by seeing the psychologist and trying our best to steer her back to reality. However, similar symptoms of psychosis started to show up again about two weeks ago. We returned to our psychiatrist, and she is now on Abilify (we were hoping to not completely block dopamine, so it helps her memory functions). The Abilify helped manage the psychosis, but she is still struggling at her job and other aspects of life.

​

Her inability to perform 100% at her job had been very hard on her. I also really don’t understand how she could be so competent 1.5 years ago while having the illness, but now she is on thin-ice at her job. She really wants to quit her job because she doesn’t feel like she’s qualified anymore. I am currently convincing her to take a leave, so we can focus on 100% recovery before she starts working again.

​

I am running out of ideas to help her. I don’t want her to suffer through what happened 3 years ago again.

​

Thank you very much again for your time. I appreciate any suggestions or help.",9.75762276360868,9.613541978873245,8.845896459840123,65.8199448039589,58.78873239436621,12.12637990102779,40.31594975256947,11.476622904949028,4.896150742291587,3255,150,506,79,37,1020,319,710,0.13,0.7559999999999999,0.114,-0.9376,14,0,0,0,0,0,140.0,15,5,0,15,25,27,0,5,38,0,55,14,3,7,3,96,96,38,0,11,17,3,6,1,0,1,9,2,1,1,16,34,2,3,18,2,2,3,14,12,0,5,32,12,87,14,90,55,13,101,0,5,3,0,91,36,0,11,60,362,103,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17658837333560762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031861764354458415,0.0,0.30218277821694234,0.33888813352363845,0.05418807586918304,0.0417779831162063,0.0,0.04501030497893775,0.03951272102500624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093594641993288,0.0,0.0,0.037433024834737,0.030636164996596726,0.0,0.1457244811434824,0.0,0.06780549452179198,0.0,0.04181189331196239,0.03523715653812195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040683304318105885,0.0,0.0,0.04092887771182778,0.0,0.0,0.04177375118501414,0.0,0.0,0.06362145233105458,0.0,0.0,0.02569489987987714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041626581666651764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04481707217017402,0.0,0.04116760614990413,0.08886908987375501,0.0,0.0,0.033568741757299084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04029079073364345,0.02846325009953189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033889724555874336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041631772789669834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046458852727826,0.08482544940782075,0.035690753367509716,0.0,0.0817791099659934,0.0,0.0,0.0472131564662886,0.24034826572723145,0.04209543401450257,0.0,0.07914451788060667,0.03923650619134758,0.045972508230694056,0.0,0.0449769538309653,0.0,0.0,0.3558348024230918,0.0,0.0,0.04148948298675572,0.0,0.03247668152485371,0.0,0.08437419836827985,0.043288628031929365,0.0,0.028141698881062938,0.019464868946066763,0.0,0.0,0.03525906159958871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03387238327427778,0.0,0.0,0.026594954014940792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041036661443832,0.04015153058483047,0.042266240062001484,0.040229228166052684,0.0,0.031801635386244906,0.04234591527841828,0.029288575020371268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037389172164417735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026998081617684036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746946393361303,0.0,0.0,0.038157779958045854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475409189312855,0.0,0.0,0.15314346380471516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03174904652317215,0.036270809964237614,0.04156406656369771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044784261935869485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04460004094947965,0.14100244460574485,0.0,0.0954540115037546,0.03330983332525348,0.045639064533334,0.08330336146638316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03755076829098825,0.04141126394578255,0.08986904728767575,0.0,0.0,0.07336262375174167,0.04556298709650428,0.0,0.0,0.02552925009396453,0.0,0.2214115959992297,0.1858582910011274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115064264790305,0.0,0.03892000517729476,0.12443129427432202,0.09585043590782816,0.0,0.0,0.16436979056749182,0.11749970374142545,0.0,0.03195898091735555,0.09703404502477184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160222803613933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33888813352363845,0.1539422849938405
mentalhealth,CanYouNot13,2019/02/13,"If you're moving, find a new doc first Moved to another city in my same state. I have a 10 year long relationship with my old psych doc's office. Imagine my surprise (sarcasm) when I'm jumping through flaming hoops to get in with a new office. I have a good med regimen, I honestly just need my meds. Do they want people to withdraw? This is so stressful and the thought of going without meds is terrifying. I just want to be done with psych and doctors... I'm bipolar 2 and ADHD (inattentive).... Can I ween off the meds and stop? Meds: Wellbutrin 150, lamictal 150, Zoloft 100, Adderall 20 (2xday). Help please.",2.11128205128205,4.682400128205128,3.2499145299145304,87.79230769230772,81.90598290598291,5.993162393162392,26.948717948717945,7.321109707123232,1.5721076923076929,473,21,91,7,13,152,82,117,0.054000000000000006,0.785,0.16,0.8596,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,1,4,4,0,1,6,0,8,3,0,0,0,19,16,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,3,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,2,0,10,3,13,13,1,16,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,8,49,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822722641877962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805480124783212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134757452781319,0.0,0.13473175565242146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033294729991377,0.11198815354229233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878582556374349,0.0,0.07482422601701086,0.11042841095896742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824752385575334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651310997413955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7312113059683878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798630513664888,0.0,0.09762267425985767,0.0,0.2543120655800379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815283245113405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912750195985751,0.0,0.0,0.1445208523472866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413513269660053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007191052103292,0.15081369451849572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452167659224587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553104964553363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691352991064905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847833793992544
mentalhealth,Zippityzinga,2019/02/13,"Indifferent to everything and doesn’t have much of an opinion on anything but my self. It’s ruining my relationships and friendships. I was told the following which I believe to be true:
your issue is that when you talk about emotions and work, it's about yourself and that is literally where it ends. you don't go much deeper and you're trying to get you listener to dig deeper into your emotions be side the only thing you know how to feel is insecurity. you like talking about yourself. and you make youself to be only your work and feelings. literal feelings. not feelings on anything in particular. but like. singular qualities. idk. you literally only talk about how you're feeling sad this one day. or happy this other day. do you have no passion or interest and feelings on things going on in science, society, culture, politics, the environment? even religion or lifestyles? ———————— I don’t really have an opinion on anything and most days I’m just thinking about how I’m feeling. In the past people have told me it’s like talking to a wall because they’re talking at me. Idk what’s wrong with me and I have tried to immerse myself reading more, getting into politics and now I’m seekinf therapy. I wonder if I’m an egoist.",3.034905094905098,5.864756181818187,4.629978354978356,77.69244005994007,80.25541125541125,7.19020979020979,30.962537462537465,8.263242389622931,2.925702497502498,982,51,163,21,26,328,125,231,0.08800000000000001,0.777,0.135,0.9308,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,11,0,2,13,11,0,1,8,0,16,1,0,4,1,40,39,21,0,1,8,0,7,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,13,14,0,0,10,1,0,3,5,4,0,1,3,8,22,7,26,33,4,24,0,2,0,1,22,14,0,8,10,117,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741512402943675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769435208645297,0.0,0.0,0.12511403337366353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485197642580472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498300331556136,0.0983563256410772,0.0,0.0,0.0733467222639852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998035515770311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930474687548662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603688809564867,0.0,0.12622324832219253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821357248376335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590615458574305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061029547247773125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275858569143065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412597389334187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326737366145128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524957900053039,0.253372977823485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600869878491986,0.07698729460819745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107890770450136,0.0,0.07114074091866493,0.0,0.0,0.1192249127992669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584817598371926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44628432121776795,0.0,0.0,0.1269940451907064,0.0,0.14755185145457084,0.07115562316515718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21222388219081986,0.0,0.15078976798799248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042774763774848,0.16168977995380412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141449163005523,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chonjungi,2019/02/13,My girlfriend might have a serious mental health issues but doesn't want get professional help. Please. If you are a professional psychiatric reading this i would greatly appreciate if you could private message me and give me some advice on the issue. ,8.410387596899229,10.440296395348838,7.837209302325583,64.40294573643413,61.79069767441861,10.38449612403101,37.58914728682171,10.504223727775694,4.582463565891473,207,10,29,5,3,65,38,43,0.053,0.7240000000000001,0.223,0.8752,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,9,9,4,0,5,3,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,1,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,4,0,22,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511663524761624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052172226309722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342873586199083,0.2465662151773344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28337604376910397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273210447843752,0.0,0.0,0.17228152437241062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5365442525235687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590253849637281,0.2726677898342815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28214131862428865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570991580147593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160271875785197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825864548307211,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mickolus85,2019/02/13,"Anonymous Survey about Mental Health/Suicide I am trying to do an art project surrounding Mental Health Awareness/Suicide prevention and need your help.  I lost my father to suicide in January of 2013 which is where my interest in helping de-stigmatize these issues comes from. Please take the survey!!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdzqVUBpMM2Q8NqQqbCXwWrnAV2lJQl2n8Opucck_QgI6tqMA/viewform?usp=pp_url",17.40596153846154,22.29068998076923,11.264615384615393,37.45538461538465,43.42307692307693,9.815384615384616,38.0,10.125756701596842,4.6986,357,13,33,6,4,96,43,52,0.116,0.7,0.184,0.4559,0,0,0,0,0,3,19.0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,7,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,7,6,0,5,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,21,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16592832490740506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095001277491673,0.0,0.0,0.2582233102581432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20104917444183631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102716032739446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882389164472416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282808741941494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144305961176094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6320974327418394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448291054450906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307788981379551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mr_geral,2019/02/13,"Anxiety at 26, looking for advice for seeking medication I've been out of college for a year and a half working a desk job, and I have been getting severe anxiety of being fired. It's getting irrational at this point, and I've tried every sort of coping mechanism I can think of, but I still get so frightened it almost hurts and I'd like to seek medication. However, I don't even know which type of doctor I need to contact for something like this.

Is anyone familiar with the type of doctor I need to set an appointment with?

I live in the US fyi.

Thank you.",4.199732142857143,5.342729508928574,5.673571428571428,79.32142857142857,70.875,8.814285714285715,30.07142857142857,9.188382445141503,2.6234785714285724,443,18,85,9,8,150,74,112,0.15,0.746,0.104,-0.5223,2,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,1,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,6,0,7,4,0,0,0,14,16,6,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,9,3,19,13,0,8,0,1,1,0,3,5,0,2,4,55,14,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488077338896338,0.0,0.0,0.17920579934880154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738127250665703,0.0,0.0,0.12513523454242367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663528487530412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820350953700835,0.0,0.15078421944032516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280502665667044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915838131301673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775933672031588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835349757249663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486476506988682,0.0,0.1580277894102054,0.0,0.1502840197711354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605732037609799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26539789881622744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917807542716878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217748261429552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377746191157441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292024726556712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647652753635808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146723960089534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150426923169992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152707013249049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028734520690924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152464369456106
mentalhealth,ChronicGold13,2019/02/13,"Trying to figure out what’s up with my speech Hey y’all, first time poster.
Anyways, I’m trying to figure out if I have some kind of speech impediment or what, but I’ve got an issue where sometimes I speak like someone with dyslexia writes. I can control it well enough by just focusing on what I’m saying, but even then I still have an issue where I can’t describe a thing I’m talking about, or can’t say certain words.
Any advice? ",5.622022471910113,5.197538617977532,5.936269662921351,84.20620224719102,67.31460674157304,8.018876404494383,29.03595505617977,6.742157984588678,1.384643146067416,343,10,71,2,5,110,63,89,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.8201,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,8,4,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,1,17,9,6,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,5,7,4,11,8,2,10,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,4,5,47,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176040014299181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143259879916454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497587816690269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300918600863559,0.0,0.14708052897904084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18941469981230707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810055229807265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648479987160454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318908774943688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879204114587744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541741413239753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18867923449784346,0.0,0.22023994115369255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778355452555622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789847780886918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794120101009126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298486962455437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30237532306458315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002194512160584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cadhunter,2019/02/13,"I deserve to die God. well, I'm just a fucking piece of shit 22 year old boy. I mistreat my family, punched my mom in the face and it fucking broke some bones even. I called her a whore and said she likes to suck cock.
My arms have several deep cuts. I tried to kill myself several times with benzodiazepines, but unfortunately survived.
I have around 20 admissions to psychiatric hospitals. I am addicted to cocaine and weed (even though I am a long time sober), and stole from people to keep up my addiction. I did spent 7 months in prison, and it was hard as hell. I don't have a girlfriend because I hate everyone. I'm ugly and addicted to porn and masturbation.
in facebook I fucking called everyone is a motherfucker and said to my ""friends"", fuck you all, I hate you faggots. I said to God, fuck you motherfucker, and made fun of Jesus suffering. I feel, no I am pretty sure I don't deserve to be breathing. I don't even know how there are people who care about me and love me like my dad, mom, uncles, and grandma.
Please if you are going to say something. Pray to God for someone to shoot myself in the face, because I don't have the courage to kill myself. I am a coward faggot.",3.038589743589746,4.9133693974359005,4.252487179487179,85.41334615384619,75.1111111111111,7.585982905982907,27.084615384615393,8.395991825355821,1.8552143589743595,925,36,188,17,20,303,133,234,0.338,0.515,0.146,-0.9966,0,0,2,1,0,2,36.0,0,4,0,1,10,25,13,0,9,0,18,18,7,2,2,24,39,16,3,1,3,3,2,2,2,0,3,4,0,1,3,13,0,1,2,0,1,1,5,16,1,0,7,6,36,9,27,31,3,14,3,2,0,9,20,7,9,2,8,118,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321672451945471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904156679532604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382792236939262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20742138901997825,0.0,0.10355375808437862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054099329650617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201251033888802,0.0,0.0,0.19410217838627467,0.0,0.0,0.0957478036457988,0.0,0.051355045507981735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846998221640065,0.4694827014694125,0.0,0.0,0.057722550377954276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098358359455642,0.2005516709631477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027692158091843,0.22473644258028808,0.0,0.05581826109499592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924046784194396,0.0,0.0,0.08988310629027298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166768057787657,0.09610462450916624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23790678192376924,0.08106936611324053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657689702269284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082676687707327,0.0,0.0,0.11148945501133027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332958672280128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28983883843524194,0.08076971236200123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294823425831989,0.10425649459048324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605691788849845,0.07819081020883523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572517090527674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997885149493484,0.0,0.11844841983243315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895694806514185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132043024680332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654054595562949
mentalhealth,storyofmylifee,2019/02/13,An unexpected acquaintance confided in me and I don’t know how to help. I work at a restaurant as a server but I’m not very close with any of my coworkers. Last night one of our chefs came up to me out of the blue and told me that he was depressed and thinking about suicide. I have my own mental health issues but I am a fairly private person at work and I’ve never talked about them before. I’m not sure why he chose me to talk to but I was caught off guard and I don’t know how to help. I tried to talk to him and just listen to what was going on but the whole situation rattled me a little bit and now I’m really worried and confused. It’s effecting my own mental and emotional issues right now and I’m having trouble functioning because I’m still upset about it. Any advice is welcome.,1.2141601700921356,3.342587361445787,3.2881148121899386,88.88045003543589,82.01204819277108,6.074557051736357,21.210489014883066,7.285733465282438,0.7107311126860378,626,19,131,9,17,212,99,166,0.154,0.78,0.065,-0.9544,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,1,0,1,3,9,6,0,2,7,0,9,1,0,3,2,31,22,17,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,14,0,1,4,0,0,3,5,4,0,1,6,2,18,2,23,16,4,19,0,1,1,0,14,10,0,1,6,88,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686830887874505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20441397721180815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161954387523287,0.0,0.1278915203178069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408519626256993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718995176868787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945042717147395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906368831789326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541714398093654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15975848694392564,0.0,0.0,0.2014815749496514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137416546040963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519839866735114,0.12251196468321257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063689376949047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30292768017084765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159181698094689,0.0,0.0,0.14104338019376306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184501206285412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123338229252166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962839887379402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835265944074736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689399180902212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002723120248175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644003222677569,0.0,0.14165297015252162,0.0,0.0,0.3624086620675915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630413081173857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436150482755354,0.0,0.10204167215064304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401061334780147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561949903811438,0.16780102737366312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21883574378162754,0.15263371197291198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wtfamidoingwml,2019/02/13,"First time post, just looking for some who will listen. It’s ironic how my entire mind has turned out, back then in the mid 2000’s when being emo or scene was a thing I actually tried to convince myself I was depressed or had mental difficulties to fit in with that culture. But now I do feel genuinely sad, or maybe not sad but numb most days and I get anxious about everything, you know the what if’s..I’m trying to move forward and focus on myself and just myself but it’s hard to not fall back into my habits. I’ve tried to talk to people around me and they do give good, reasonable advice but it doesn’t fix what I feel inside. ",3.368437499999999,4.855857718750002,4.152000000000001,88.09300000000002,73.375,6.682500000000001,21.39375,7.1686216300943375,0.5043006250000004,500,11,103,5,10,160,92,128,0.103,0.821,0.076,-0.1396,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,1,9,6,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,2,0,27,17,14,0,0,11,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,8,8,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,4,0,1,3,5,13,2,15,12,2,20,0,3,1,0,7,9,0,5,9,72,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.18729385734393345,0.0,0.0,0.1875496353473335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216823796035122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085644260032348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29516127889508026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377756012327387,0.0,0.16530714213922626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249234069915487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19408893577178024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325369775272244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002743595733457,0.1841146446949739,0.0,0.16097994167928195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719296199418776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547850542626157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611710227511304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928172827201295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19341809130369286,0.0,0.1937923763593314,0.0,0.0,0.20398888880101532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330585779887177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381378892340167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973337549526915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426430416110107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750830922208575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191464987385163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3909191550210921,0.20876234460595874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psychotic-dandelion,2019/02/13,"Coping with cutting off someone you love? I recently had to report my ex for harassment and stalking after he went to some extremes to contact me after I blocked him and told him multiple times to not contact me. My friends want me to get a restraining order, but I don’t want anything on his record.

The thing is, I still love him. So much. I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that he’s manipulative, controlling, and bad for me. Even though I don’t feel safe on campus knowing he’s here, I just can’t seem to let him go. He directly and single handedly saved my life multiple times. I thought we’d live happily ever after. How do I cope with being terrified of the love of my life?

I have a class with him and left after 15 minutes and had a meltdown in the bathroom. I can’t handle seeing him. I need to get over him and crush the idea of ever being with him again, but I have no idea how to do that.

Any advice?",2.814938917975568,4.194393774869114,4.3885654450261775,86.2782059336824,74.6020942408377,7.3969982547993025,25.82233856893543,8.021203637495839,1.463751553228621,725,25,152,11,15,243,106,191,0.098,0.746,0.156,0.9305,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,0,1,12,9,2,0,8,0,15,6,1,4,3,38,33,13,0,3,4,1,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,13,0,4,6,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,5,3,31,6,29,24,4,23,0,0,1,3,23,6,0,2,13,111,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021204394423202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453392417388656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649731610254286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834861623334873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132414968980625,0.0,0.0,0.1724084890029398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152969034191207,0.27809456164986307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772474655908304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876261465521558,0.0,0.16062325558582088,0.0,0.08736182695375276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470591938114822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447972646237824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701571656485933,0.15718769067978994,0.21715199661705448,0.0,0.0,0.1357363464678827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4162111338875402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300086342729325,0.1139803995234559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177857992037772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249382797273,0.13993964678429635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024527709745246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455197566518851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212381225189614,0.0,0.1510277511630266,0.1220354036310642,0.17926911213366276,0.0,0.0,0.1468847167051418,0.0,0.10436484397658627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133443454995268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424986889728031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asteyri,2019/02/13,"What would you look forward to reading in a blog about Mental Health? Other than the usual facts and figures about Mental Health. 
A few things that I can think of:
- Experiences, their impact and how they were dealt with
- Something for people who for whatever reason cannot go for therapy
- Self care 




",8.416111111111112,8.579243203703705,7.163333333333334,75.765,61.407407407407405,9.422222222222222,30.962962962962962,8.841846274778883,2.4686740740740745,239,7,40,3,3,72,46,54,0.0,0.939,0.061,0.4939,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,2,1,9,8,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,10,6,1,4,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,2,30,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296938855496486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22037273937756735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803511070399035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4789365368229266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891833306231933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4540701931527189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618480619038566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253467635141449,0.0,0.0,0.2316313216177653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350222202976372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17343601375150675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576339438395023,0.0,0.14966987370933607,0.14435404270229873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24812047833465856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600365671180556,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,15jomessa,2019/02/13,"Need an objective opinion on the neurological/psychological effects of smoking marijuana  

Looking for some advice on the topic stated in the title. I really would like some honest, factually-backed up advice. I am 22 years old and have been smoking for about 5 years now; some times with very high frequency and other times just monthly. Through out the whole time, it has been an internal dilemma of whether or not smoking weed is negatively affecting me and I’m honestly not sure.

I am currently studying for the CPA exam, a rigorous accounting certification that is super lengthy and requires a lot of discipline. Will quitting smoking help me pass it? I know there are so many variables, and I’m sure that there are people who smoke weed and pass difficult exams. But I am asking, will I have a better chance at passing if I do not consume marijuana? What effects do you guys think marijuana has on your brain and your personality? Do you worry about or consider the effects it has? Does it prohibit my maximum motivation and ability to remember information? All of my questions are genuine and I do not mean to insult anyone who does smoke weed! I appreciate any information or advice anyone can provide; and I can provide more information on myself if that would help :)

Tl;Dr: What effect does smoking weed have on people and the human brain?",6.882550646814742,8.608052539419088,7.761230168415918,64.66828899194536,65.09958506224066,10.649841347327314,36.58310959238467,10.718039707386858,4.557795508908958,1086,54,166,30,17,364,136,241,0.051,0.802,0.147,0.9764,1,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,4,0,9,7,9,1,0,12,0,26,2,2,6,3,52,34,19,0,5,12,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,12,13,0,2,13,0,1,3,5,2,0,0,2,1,19,7,22,28,7,23,0,0,1,0,17,10,0,11,10,126,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920054133056693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093337452457408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699859866547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500903431585492,0.0,0.0,0.10282150901085972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118263418704791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985488253066151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35105468871872514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240264268239174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17925779601375855,0.1412812618132539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348835956218742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532825495474179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122901203716871,0.0,0.0,0.11368294832079474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556988282507426,0.0,0.14565898239726202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673307640790217,0.0,0.0,0.09915080142869226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031539456409228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540756872790687,0.11675810494863882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149795667405324,0.14222641156725427,0.0,0.0,0.08566369216088247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147734199263885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25205678717459995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856816125278299,0.0,0.0,0.2339175360032617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033202036760106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929227321835195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357979398984759,0.0,0.18998000855953756,0.0,0.0,0.17222105579473204
mentalhealth,cold-wasabi,2019/02/13,"so i'm posting here because i think this is the best place for this i have ocd, sensory processing disorder, and Todd's syndrome, amongst a whole slew of other things. Latesly I've been experiencing these unnerving phantom tingles and sensations, like someone is tickling or brushing their hand against me. Sometimes it feels like a paintbrush is being dragged across my skin, but there's nothing there. What the hell is going on?",9.760789473684213,9.720231921052632,8.12263157894737,70.6684210526316,58.73684210526316,10.757894736842106,46.631578947368425,10.125756701596842,5.046799999999998,350,21,55,6,4,105,63,76,0.119,0.777,0.104,-0.4854,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,4,4,1,0,4,0,7,3,2,0,0,6,11,5,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,5,5,3,5,9,2,5,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,2,38,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933636083533855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087357482022423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371688582335315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14875202289933762,0.21017041132725714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671957652981752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28745413812692355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822846046930449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307367421514936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817540611516236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492674379658908,0.0,0.2909628397382913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19544770914259674,0.1885059848879726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284542175259469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throaway199999,2019/02/13,I need help but I don’t know what to do So background is I’m a 19 year old male in the military. I’m coming here to keep privacy but I just can’t stand my life anymore. All my life I felt like a failure. Everything I try to dye ends up ruined I ruined my family at home my old job.  Hell I literally just ruined a relationship I had more on that later but anyother attempts end in failure. I have an lor and multiple deragatory remarks on my records and I’m not even out of training. I have no friends anymore due to me being to busy. I also just fucked up with my girlfriend who I absolutely adored. She recently got fired and has been down lately I tried help naturally. So I sought my moms help. But I didn’t tell my girlfriend so I got her a job listing and a job fair that’s coming soon. But I also told her I talked to my mom for help. She seemed so hurt and betrayed I should’ve talk to her and asked if it was ok. But I didn’t now she won’t talk to me and I just feel like a failure. I literally fucked my entire life up in 6 months of being on my own. My mom hates me no friends I have horrible credit. I have something in collections because of bmt. And now I ruined my relationship. I just need help but therapy hasn’t helped ,0.25318124207857906,2.420936174904945,2.769684410646388,90.81972306717364,86.49049429657795,5.940126742712296,21.694423320659066,7.3011,0.7342087198986054,966,34,218,16,30,333,132,263,0.255,0.604,0.141,-0.9925,3,0,1,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,1,16,16,4,0,8,1,18,5,0,0,1,34,37,22,0,3,14,3,3,2,4,1,3,0,1,1,5,12,0,1,4,0,1,2,9,9,0,0,9,3,48,7,26,25,3,29,1,5,0,2,29,13,3,2,15,143,53,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021832437897093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986915063413425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364922663462688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061065179175429266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17258217094502268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774489736053238,0.0,0.0,0.06616402401282498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002998878861028,0.0,0.09443519156919536,0.0,0.050651016273246884,0.07156437080183932,0.09618281011131732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547884655495656,0.18521861458336514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16023669891242068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890114835943864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40286737810885664,0.0,0.1004827531340654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107238406558853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982219019935953,0.08903931013717133,0.0,0.0,0.055053045384363695,0.0,0.11300070662156997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21226771011837645,0.09787997463356712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519679565135549,0.07995798157019159,0.0,0.0,0.14855559719851094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21023165658025034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989098023707734,0.21509890966868825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119470490850368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711888795212007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415483525438891,0.08755654663145185,0.0,0.1145577715830589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572061030096676,0.0,0.13602322669768013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450881239760932
mentalhealth,ihearthetrees,2019/02/13,"I can't function I'm a high school sophomore. My grades are shit, I can't focus, and I'm too exhausted to do any homework.

I'm the president of a cooking club, which I love, but we haven't had a meeting in 3 months because I just... Can't.

All my time is focused on helping my parents move, keeping my eating disorder from getting worse, and keeping from bursting into tears every class period because I'm so sad and tired all the fucking time. 

I don't know what to do. This isn't like me at all. I used to be such a good student, but I just can't deal with anything right now. 

What the hell can I do?",2.8652517361111123,3.571109257812502,4.43010416666667,88.63225694444445,73.609375,6.938888888888887,29.847222222222214,6.937597516519254,1.502877430555555,467,20,103,4,9,157,80,128,0.241,0.6659999999999999,0.093,-0.9692,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,0,6,8,3,0,7,0,15,7,1,1,3,17,26,6,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,6,2,2,1,2,0,1,7,5,0,0,1,0,14,3,11,24,3,12,1,1,0,2,6,6,3,0,6,65,18,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615941716762964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476757157935426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441097984662696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20642250269212944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22947444023373706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20487948585487376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869764203323145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18510417593411205,0.10460895368164116,0.0,0.0,0.16793867679088711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342061545367549,0.21154800826182185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559371862435509,0.0,0.0,0.11003806093095726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781949878932657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807102841068655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981715791577356,0.21280678641030265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22232543458823628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17099049233075506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20263772152122847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055274076824311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23350484560088455,0.2301284246100573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17292954311223294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20404570807762132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UnsureTranslation,2019/02/13,"Therapist wants me to check in to inpatient psychiatric care, but I'm not suicidal/homicidal? First off, I am in Chicago.

Like the title says, my therapist and I met for a little more than 2 hrs last night. I was, and am admittedly, in a pretty bad place. I was crying, and am feeling like I have lost some control. I can't stop washing my hands or cleaning everything because I'm afraid I'm going to get sick or poisoned. I do not feel like hurting myself. I do not feel like hurting anyone else. I don't, however, feel safe going home. My apartment feels like a trap filled with things that might trigger me and cause a spiral, which I'm terrified of. 

My therapist thinks I need to get checked in to inpatient, and part of me feels like having actual 24hr care in a place separated from things would be good for me, but everything I'm reading tells me inpatient is for suicidal/homicidal people, which again, I am not. I also really don't want to be treated like I am (shoelaces taken away, no ability to have a phone, etc....).

Can anyone give me some thoughts? I know I have to and should defer to my therapist first, but I'm just hoping for some further insight/input.",5.08446870451237,5.831920969432317,6.080157205240173,78.66247743813683,68.56331877729258,9.774788937409026,31.42387190684134,9.888512548439397,3.0344425618631736,918,37,176,21,15,305,122,229,0.152,0.6409999999999999,0.208,0.9128,1,0,0,0,0,1,39.0,0,0,0,4,3,19,1,1,7,0,23,4,1,3,0,42,53,12,0,6,10,0,7,7,0,3,3,1,2,0,5,7,0,3,10,1,2,3,8,6,0,2,6,8,27,13,25,42,6,21,0,3,0,0,6,12,0,7,13,114,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0934325332400355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656660649752307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338931492121381,0.09810125299819844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995483271573003,0.0,0.07994241230278834,0.0583647789695585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952351969221378,0.09835567294026044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738526769400886,0.0,0.0,0.10517051387236266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079981998015537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678009790133723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17209743645174955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904668823663483,0.34199839747833816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287994446961515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000447912902506,0.0918465661628794,0.10882727675325143,0.08030569696852724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603924455988816,0.0950955993771362,0.0,0.0,0.20499230430076312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052618511381562205,0.07804430624102891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32743047785348495,0.09596084675437737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451611035506707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015694716386374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709931151620248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984945091342783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368164428489364,0.0,0.06637697673113467,0.0,0.2000646331352048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740627759386196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577011517997246,0.0,0.061336189674225834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613963505549756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004644288808456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368465564969182,0.0,0.0,0.4446656079910933,0.12721639149004516,0.0613490208632441,0.0,0.07601020438642551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294482602858588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801393650786346,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,namahn,2019/02/13,"I'm not sure what these voices are. Maybe I'm in the wrong sub but this was the closest one to fit what I think might be going on. 

Ever since I was little, pretty much since I had conscious, I could hear these faint voices. They're quiet, but angry and shouting. I can never understand what they're saying, who it is or what brings it on. It used to happen so frequently when I was so miserable, but now that I'm in a better mental state with my wife and daughter in my life now, it hasn't happened so frequently. I don't bring it up because I don't need everyone thinking I'm insane, but I'm getting kind of concerned.

These voices drown out all noise in my mind. I can't hear much of anything besides the whisper/screaming in my head and what I can only describe as a high pitched whining. Sometimes I'll catch myself entranced by this, staring at nothing or when someone is talking to me and I didn't hear a word they were saying. I wish I could fix this, but I don't even know where to start.",3.8754438280166426,4.594638305825242,4.7553675450762825,87.17669902912624,71.28155339805825,6.856588072122053,27.821081830790572,6.5431188927421005,1.183286823855756,785,27,162,5,14,255,120,206,0.122,0.8059999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.8777,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,1,10,6,0,1,6,0,20,3,1,1,4,31,42,17,1,4,8,2,0,0,0,1,2,10,0,0,18,6,0,0,5,0,0,4,8,3,0,1,6,11,21,3,19,32,3,29,0,2,1,0,10,15,0,3,9,111,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387537354303427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435547789958578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238632066230833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209711631404298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139902544668632,0.12517309878137378,0.0,0.13222851280893344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722981079484181,0.0,0.0786448359876351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447388658476789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201833177072914,0.0,0.4678946947641421,0.0,0.0,0.1462066123338945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410201241513407,0.07605031240282017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774225055627764,0.0,0.13869363048280295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902182751138809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945501226585194,0.1467998589449724,0.13972487289095264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034512024434919,0.10260739889371384,0.10672758450794273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277983684770525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377021867682048,0.1052446177678412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407827330441117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22009148036203505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289395849547061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724936179408993,0.0,0.13686186829496347,0.0,0.09794644117222404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042199827346987,0.0,0.0,0.11122501666708737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733729365409984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405899697579927,0.0,0.11951633522162855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913076363696374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129737045578714,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DeppressionCringe,2019/02/13,"My mom wont take me to a therapist Ive been acting really unusual and i cant seem to control it, my mom noticed it too, when i asked her to take me to a therapist because i think there's something wrong with me, she gave me a lecture about how only adults can get mental illnesses and how im just ""overreacting"", there's no one i can talk to about and i feel alone, its been months and  I need help ASAP ",2.8734482758620707,3.447809620689661,4.848908045977012,86.12439655172415,73.48275862068967,8.558620689655173,25.99425287356322,8.841846274778883,1.668480459770115,315,10,72,6,6,109,56,87,0.131,0.835,0.034,-0.7783,0,1,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,9,1,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,3,0,13,16,7,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,3,1,15,0,8,12,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,2,48,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756677527397065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783320921543567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628372760217125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139502528319234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645249647382174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966268581672638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786043014035994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060503488982616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223824063190345,0.0,0.0,0.4468247047124939,0.1522604579905784,0.0,0.0,0.14144393606692546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21717816662285608,0.0,0.0,0.1292619144282623,0.14507933294715386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222038513322025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736580546808211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468540972236271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286851124331737,0.15332329165461414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4429672770684127,0.0,0.1222294156967894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20856288946579413,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwmeaway2480,2019/02/13,"did i have a minor psychotic break down?? 18f history of general anxiety and major depressive disorder. 

never had anything slightly psychotic prior to this. i do have a long history of sexual abuse and emotional abuse in my childhood. 

freaked myself the fuck out. 

​

so my boyfriend picked me up from the pub after a really anxiety inducing night where i went to watch my friends play poker but they ended up making me play. i was okay but in a really high anxious mood. i got into the car with my boyfriend and he had just come back from his friends and we were going back there to have a drink.

my boyfriend never takes drugs but for some reason i thought he was on drugs, like acid or something. i didnt say anything because i felt stupid, but i felt really uncomfortable. i knew that was extremely unlikely as A, he doesnt like drugs anymore and B, he would never drive on them. but for some reason the things he was saying and doing just made me so anxious.

when we got to his friends house, i kept thinking his friends were on drugs too, it made me really fucking anxious. i didnt really believe myself but something kept telling me they were. i had a few drinks with them and calmed down and forgot about it.

when me and my boyfriend got home we were just laying in bed and i said i had heartburn so he gave some medication for it, he told me to just chew it and then swallow it with some water. i asked him what the meds were called but i forget it now.

​

after i had taken it he went to the bathroom. 

​

i started freaking the fuck out thinking my boyfriend had given me drugs. i trust my boyfriend so much idk why i was freaking out. this is going to sound fucking crazy but i thought he was going to drug and rape me. i kept thinking i was feeling ""something"". he was still in the bathroom by this point and then all of a sudden i just sat up because i thought i was literally seeing shit. my vision went all wavy as if i was on ketamine or something and i just thought ""thats it he's actually drugged me"". i turned the light back on and started to have a full blown anxiety attack.

​

he came back in and ran to my side and asked if i was okay. i said i was okay and he was like ""well you don't look okay"" and i just sat there freaking out for a bit before i realised i wasnt seeing anything and i wasnt feeling any actual effects of ketamine or any other drug.

i calmed down, told myself i was being stupid.  and we went to sleep.

​

​

can anyone explain this and if i should be worried about my mental health becoming unmanageable or going psychotic? ",2.8283106355382617,5.035661317120628,3.6920865758754884,87.66487435149159,76.87937743190662,6.462321660181582,26.661640726329445,7.492282038375204,1.474830220492867,2063,82,403,28,48,658,206,514,0.149,0.743,0.108,-0.9758,0,0,14,0,2,0,69.0,4,1,4,1,26,32,9,0,19,4,44,23,2,8,5,96,100,47,0,5,22,0,4,3,4,2,11,5,2,0,17,36,5,4,17,6,0,13,9,14,1,0,61,15,77,17,52,35,11,63,0,1,4,5,42,26,5,11,26,284,94,0,0.0,0.11321374195557744,0.0932451716737022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105923331309375,0.3483191751779129,0.06497877823027405,0.0,0.1096457666523313,0.1619201961902485,0.04738105746653217,0.03340616285160486,0.0,0.1179469887126653,0.0,0.08932841610750397,0.05435221562070197,0.0,0.14694750010653632,0.0,0.05824773926157649,0.052764953424489114,0.04065394573117925,0.053827308847023685,0.0,0.0,0.052159131798354436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04878474399686797,0.0546431354157984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041154883315430144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041149488472961175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054755554450952766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360478697281972,0.4432409029753725,0.0,0.0,0.05374168664903785,0.042315447552785365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04831406751042605,0.0,0.09174510450079837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764679812252815,0.17667295362629948,0.0,0.0,0.10860904389232824,0.0,0.11463274468875095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050783764569959235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050478077094652435,0.047923327859434366,0.0,0.0,0.05512720961385105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002297362880447,0.0,0.0,0.042280348721335535,0.040119894742885714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904138097955408,0.031890920488726104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306848132744632,0.0481293986014808,0.04814707589500351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03512093371840445,0.0,0.1105436304060174,0.0,0.0,0.044834637276111575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045163860996521116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153032978386945,0.09824358427191103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908920312748843,0.07598695117987797,0.0,0.0,0.0761427387837958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904148431980362,0.0,0.0,0.047810607452666486,0.0,0.0,0.14712151632841733,0.0,0.0,0.06763234479911663,0.0,0.03815405846645482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03592168448995674,0.0,0.04175842081934758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03174032067000408,0.09183899521985003,0.0,0.15171556011987555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913042297763878,0.0,0.0,0.051966682030690006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042956455284802283,0.17715570867627758,0.043110502872156065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048518952842812026,0.0,0.03393877360462329,0.0,0.3483191751779129,0.0
mentalhealth,Jessicada95,2019/02/13,Misdiagnosed I think I have bpd not bipolar. Makes sense as to why I still get suicidal randomly and medications doesn't seem to help with that aspect.,2.7603571428571456,5.801787178571432,3.9971428571428578,78.87285714285716,87.92857142857142,8.514285714285714,24.857142857142854,8.841846274778883,2.8064714285714287,123,5,22,4,4,40,25,28,0.235,0.765,0.0,-0.7755,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,7,6,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551611639938885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18881264930741198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422337543740462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412322795447111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640648924466032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289981311376048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886084928466967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3953047050895188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315657019664076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261004925789283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,boyquixotic,2019/02/13,"I don't feel love for anyone. I don't feel love. I feel like I should, but I don't.

I have a good amount of friends. I like them, I enjoy hanging out with them, and I do believe I care about them in some capacity, but I don't think I love them. 

Most of the time we get along great, but some of my closest friends think that at times I am very cold, dark and mean. Sometimes I empathize a lot with people, other times not at all.

One of my good friends passed away very recently, and while I do think I will miss him, I'm not really that upset, and have hardly been thinking about it as much as my other friends, who've been devastated.

I didn't really care when my ex gf cheated on me, or broke up with me, and in retrospect the only reason we were really together was because she asked me out and I was feeling bored/monotonous. My parents almost split up a while back and I had no reaction at all. People close to me have been a bit disturbed or concerned about my responses to these things.

I just don't feel that strongly about anyone. I have very, very loving friends and family (especially my parents and grandparents), but for some reason I don't have reciprocal feelings. The only person I think I might feel genuine love for is my brother.

I have type 2 rapid cycling bipolar, and moderate GAD. I'm starting to think I may have a personality issue as well. I've withheld a lot from my therapist because, to be honest, his potential response gives me a bit of anxiety. I don't take criticism well.

I can care for others, but overall I think I am extremely self-centered. I have very vivid daydreams and fantasies of watching myself, as if I were a movie, and others watching me too as an audience. 

I believe I have an understanding of what love is, based on how people have described it to me, and how the people who say they love me treat me. The idea of it makes me feel uncomfortable. Like if I were to love somebody, it would make me too vulnerable, too influenced, and I would lose my identity, my individuality.

Because of all this, I'm starting to feel quite lonely. I don't feel connected to anyone, even though I have a normal social life and am well-liked. Sometimes I feel a bit unfulfilled, specifically socially, and this must certainly be why.

Anyone have experience with this or with dealing with somebody like myself? Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Tl;dr - I don't feel genuine love for anybody. I'm constantly thinking about myself, and expect the unreciprocated love from others as a given. Now I feel empty and want to get better.",4.682375363290858,6.036853740442655,5.749096244131454,78.43362871674493,69.9456740442656,8.580572322825844,30.10334227587749,8.998388855275968,2.5198080035770176,2027,81,381,38,36,672,215,497,0.156,0.667,0.177,0.9312,3,2,0,0,0,0,71.0,2,0,5,4,18,41,1,2,19,0,49,12,0,7,5,95,102,40,0,9,13,4,14,4,6,7,2,1,0,2,19,30,0,1,26,2,0,2,13,7,2,1,11,19,76,34,56,82,14,28,0,4,3,10,39,14,0,14,16,276,95,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05662598633307125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03845548415124926,0.0,0.043260083333749255,0.0,0.0,0.15816242792886684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528659907655489,0.0,0.053129957843149785,0.04348294485767814,0.0,0.10341584168057112,0.0,0.0,0.1274234621608636,0.0,0.050013287722491966,0.18521166948750253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296743491400612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061109737153371486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829987705489077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03735029971064637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531609655737734,0.05330967638331758,0.0,0.3717095304714629,0.040398853273108284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21844936377005628,0.0,0.059089382784747874,0.05424727100202298,0.0,0.09486179153900033,0.0,0.062345836921606036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050657093039576426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383731134479317,0.0,0.05902280945159163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03994246475636155,0.11050858658553056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632642364856584,0.0,0.09615243776609614,0.5103797894407729,0.0,0.07549423493786639,0.0,0.0,0.06159879932258833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059989903637141226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04157026483935728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540633769347158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038319290106162425,0.08601662867519783,0.0,0.0,0.12558267953955524,0.0,0.0,0.15681674320380282,0.09875338901381893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601471741756987,0.056564633922728334,0.0,0.10868084815240417,0.11628426082564285,0.05583564207269341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044970297632313985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899328504892507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528984279500824,0.0,0.0,0.1118574683875084,0.0,0.08005181489615969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042518059163695096,0.0,0.0,0.05206302622351625,0.0,0.06565813168016192,0.03756886268791771,0.2898762228802594,0.055559430463813335,0.0,0.0989231087651076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058869847755649976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332956014667084,0.03335426049017224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15253391926309798,0.0,0.05102697542503765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034204434193919,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,G37RH37DHW8DJ,2019/02/13,"I don't know what to do I'm sorry in advance if this post doesn't make any sense, I'm just trying to understand myself and wrap my head around things.

Last year may have been my worst year, I quit college, started at a new one and quit again after only going the first week. At that time I had no intention of going back. Then in october, after feeling very down for a few months, I went to a new college that had just opened its doors for the first time. This place so far has been the best place for me to communicate with others, I made some good friends and actually enjoy going there. It's been going well for about 3-4 months now and sometimes I actually enjoy living again. 

Then there is another side, I finally got a girlfriend and we love eachother a lot, and to be honest I've never been this happy before. But this week I started feeling down again, and I don't know why. I don't know how to express these feelings of extreme boredom and sadness to her, or anyone else in this case. I have never really opened up to anyone, not even my parents which I'm very close to. 

I'm scared of the consequences of telling this to my friends and family because I don't want to hurt their feelings. 

I feel like I'm gonna snap and I'm so, so scared of it. I don't want to lose her or my friends and I have no idea what to do about it. 

I'm losing it and I hate it.

I need help but I'm too scared to ask. 

Please, if you can, give me advice, anything. 
",1.8927327935222664,3.4860468157894786,3.370657894736844,91.7219129554656,77.55263157894737,6.124291497975707,22.21862348178138,6.8449194561589275,0.44548016194332,1128,32,251,11,26,371,155,304,0.084,0.792,0.124,0.87,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,1,1,8,19,21,1,3,9,0,22,2,1,4,2,49,57,24,0,5,9,1,5,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,20,18,0,0,10,0,0,6,11,9,1,3,9,5,30,12,37,45,5,50,0,4,0,1,16,16,0,7,28,167,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.18634149608419626,0.0,0.0,0.09329798674734692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492691541993985,0.10011485119899666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351799889400526,0.09782638668511172,0.07856856621757714,0.08499383156838784,0.089257118634264,0.0,0.0,0.07341510698137088,0.0,0.0582012488298387,0.0,0.08124299557067766,0.0,0.10019611204380112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975789938034178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306096006188912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900062221552237,0.0,0.2413775281928277,0.06820803293515294,0.0,0.10458922900368614,0.0,0.16242357710993474,0.0,0.0,0.22129343075105756,0.0,0.0,0.09158922462809464,0.21704471517293986,0.08008069137307372,0.07636083371082801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163591695810836,0.0,0.09426272751428504,0.09798586258530798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399551221430183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220897193008747,0.10778071855806053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741324449654645,0.0778256367535528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046644723196020116,0.0,0.08430700709055956,0.0,0.0,0.21362631739369106,0.0,0.08117023269953487,0.08617076641327702,0.09034164601535397,0.06373093350255851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524159740178365,0.0,0.0,0.07079420214896183,0.1472738666799709,0.18442252187918584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469697008337164,0.072613757152782,0.0,0.0,0.10601473616357047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950407935624406,0.104803914801391,0.0,0.0,0.09143956164561523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031008360261207,0.0,0.0,0.06116433404752094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867642253201538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442814918829233,0.10687750173833127,0.13515672808937435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345018267348239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634299742675981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134558061312738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482189826157657,0.0,0.0,0.09939382406375588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755530446266294,0.11262837005107387,0.0,0.1531700853108663,0.0,0.08584433918203029,0.0885071559257576,0.0861521884505813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296675430312455
mentalhealth,mentally_insane25,2019/02/13,"Mental breakdowns Hey I'm a girl 16 and I have a long list from suffering from mental illness, I do have help but not enough help, but that is not the point, i suffer  allot from mental breakdowns and they are the worst, I don't have them so frequently anymore but that only makes them stronger and harder to deal with once I get them, I have got many different once but the most frequent one is where I hyperventilate and can't stop crying, they feel like I can't breathe I can't talk ore walk ore do anything the only thing I can do is cry sit down and not getting enough air, but the worst is getting my hurting urges back, some back story I used to cut myself allot it got so bad that I needed stitches for one cut, but I don't cut myself anymore and I don't want to but I do bite myself some times and scratch my skin open, but the only time I do that is if I have a mental breakdown, in a mental breakdown the only thing that i want to do is cut my whole body open and I don't know how to stop it I don't want to hurt myself but I can't stop it. Does anybody have advise for me? 


(Sorry for the bad grammar English is my second language)",3.1068619348565853,3.8664806487603336,4.1997812348079755,90.30683762761306,73.0909090909091,6.3552746718522135,24.15264948954789,5.900188976854957,0.4358023334953818,895,24,198,4,17,292,106,242,0.191,0.695,0.114,-0.9689,1,0,0,0,0,4,15.0,0,0,5,0,6,13,4,0,12,0,30,4,3,3,0,41,44,21,0,5,13,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,11,0,3,2,0,0,1,12,12,0,3,2,3,35,1,15,42,10,19,0,4,0,0,12,7,0,6,11,142,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015188071213562,0.0,0.0,0.0836077317949316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624748852350762,0.16966267764273474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285414071227635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232045603660756,0.0,0.1047446234480076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614985331805626,0.0,0.0,0.08891040725877256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099588858514757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051371760005350944,0.07258270321631924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924463640985626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251680314115208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620000666616758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175287325086678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583642823259647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049636383790203485,0.0,0.0,0.08991236049360908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781845529122661,0.10300594649222096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5119419985294729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533474200757911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21640030364724194,0.13769290145109267,0.30908399248827784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604436751377356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373232235783945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548251943798606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166182970960248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13499638676461756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184869711720745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774934728575733,0.0,0.0,0.17977805264359978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343221360362025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheQueensBishop,2019/02/13,"Anyone else have restlessness as a side effect from meds? I take an anti-psychotic that I believe is causing it. It isnt as intense as it was with another med but just enough that it makes getting through the day difficult.

I actually stopped taking the one where it was intense for that reason so I didn't try to manage it at all.

Anyone who has experiences with it have any tips for dealing with restlessness as a side effect?",3.9627882960413103,6.00254459036145,5.099345955249572,79.62168674698798,72.97590361445782,8.11635111876076,29.929432013769365,8.841846274778883,2.6407672977624785,343,15,62,7,7,113,56,83,0.158,0.8420000000000001,0.0,-0.8691,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,2,5,0,8,0,0,5,1,12,12,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,4,0,13,9,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,48,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.20510559623075636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292977118326425,0.2203923085113104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939258227090619,0.2153544947292292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23680115713014516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159130041916192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554886758753967,0.21668659935977627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755786215124745,0.0,0.0,0.21717237354481653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055966060029555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981050098819213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029694286106525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4669257317393696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242357072498313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161002930902408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757200926205512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160587677701107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269858696146506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kaylesj,2019/02/13,"Hospitalised Today I a 19 year old female voluntary went into a private hospital to get some help. 

I feel scared and lonely everyone else here in the young adult section seem to be having fun and getting along while I feel so alone and in pain, I know you don’t know what’s going on for them but I’m hurting.

I don’t know how long I’ll be here maybe a month, first day is almost done seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow.",3.994627450980392,5.007513658823534,5.205588235294119,82.97348039215687,71.23529411764707,8.490196078431373,25.93137254901961,8.841846274778883,1.8079019607843136,331,10,67,6,6,110,65,85,0.142,0.8079999999999999,0.05,-0.7358,0,3,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,1,1,4,5,0,1,5,0,7,1,0,1,0,15,19,7,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,2,3,7,1,8,15,2,17,0,2,1,0,4,5,0,3,10,40,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21385173670273555,0.22118607606311136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772997874658618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218548321141883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840384976769058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406787456586564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215966973110245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18165593423711565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22315491433358128,0.0,0.1213723438663187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314626934245356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22862279742562716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521046697667714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899586406013066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21455197714811375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704633443341184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224097648301138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22724528310869666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21381306081795848,0.0,0.1701814571492226,0.19441904459056408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20243203456191405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797433823885602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375270821545874
mentalhealth,ScrappyDoggo,2019/02/13,"Worried about Klonopin withdrawal I'm located in the US- upstate NY to be specific. I've been prescribed Klonopin 3x per day at 0.5 mg for the last 10 years. In January my med management doctor informed me he doesn't accept my new insurance & I'd need to find a new provider. He told me he would refill my 3 prescriptions (also get Welbutrin & Gabapentin) until I found a new doctor.

The soonest appointment I was able to make was at the end of January at the county hospital mental health clinic. I saw a counselor, and was scheduled for a follow up, but there was a blizzard and the place was closed. My rescheduled follow up was cancelled because my counselor called in sick. I finally saw her today. I wasn't able to schedule an appointment with the clinic doctor until seeing my therapist for a 2nd time- their rules. 

They told me the soonest available appointment for the doctor is March 22. I run out of Klonopin in 2 weeks, & I called my old doctor and he refused to fill it again (he had filled it once for me). He told me to go to my primary- I haven't had a primary since 2013. The clinic is aware of my situation but they can't get me in any sooner. 

Has anyone else been in a situation like this? My counselor basically told me to make my 2 weeks of Klonopin last 4-5 weeks. I'm going to lose my mind-  that's not even a taper, it's literally cutting my dose in half. Is there anything I can do? I'm even considering admitting myself to the psych ward at the hospital and seeing if they'll prescribe it.",3.4612956810631235,5.300253495016612,4.708257807308972,82.751277076412,73.85049833887044,7.872478405315615,28.65129568106312,8.608573733854374,2.2507458073089697,1206,50,232,23,25,398,157,301,0.066,0.918,0.015,-0.9232,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,4,1,7,4,1,0,22,0,23,11,0,2,0,22,45,10,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,11,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,5,0,0,7,5,2,0,1,18,4,36,2,37,24,0,44,0,1,4,0,21,16,0,1,22,138,42,7,0.18638390933499946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452557247827367,0.0,0.3029203318411456,0.0,0.06337372486219364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651619815243889,0.09548617047254418,0.07668903822220713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680895058885711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903188104013709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010110118248405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4769295724171051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784991999425847,0.0,0.0825404109977983,0.0,0.0,0.12310481428725314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208723115148892,0.08517575825148538,0.0,0.0,0.1021801681628454,0.0,0.0,0.09737789991537016,0.0,0.10592627089395633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905868995928767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192776243702386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552888174308559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425795969412137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244127067758872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351525301327166,0.0,0.0939155713231772,0.0,0.0940973081741672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910065355498111,0.0,0.2700161116010917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778927984941152,0.09924639026451024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736575773107607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852384453390494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708934792004317,0.20950332327221596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820304213824564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434097819646639,0.0,0.08833507637554372,0.3561956253531057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209844704226822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242588943466528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464095360997524,0.0,0.06620089078798935,0.0,0.0,0.06001256338761705
mentalhealth,em-lat,2019/02/13,"Participants needed: Do you use mental health apps? Hi all,

if you have used a mental health app to assist with a mental health diagnosis, i would really appreciate 15-20 minutes of your time to complete the survey attached.

[https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/8VV5VWH](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/8VV5VWH?fbclid=IwAR29i7UMafACnwZK2uQABtYNuxAMIofRARP4BhtB61X3-Oy8APgMBOXcZ2k)

Thankyou in advance!",22.726969696969697,28.15162563636364,14.534545454545453,16.980151515151533,31.272727272727266,10.412121212121212,35.12121212121212,10.504223727775694,4.348175757575758,344,9,28,5,3,91,37,44,0.0,0.915,0.085,0.564,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,3,0,2,1,7,6,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,5,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887459508084846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6352731216409432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6022897959753762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771642921768172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762312091555594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616467929628264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34411799660587644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151760794057774,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,entrylevelheaux,2019/02/13,Therapists always say I'm extremely negative as if I'm the worst they've ever seen Everytime I talk to a new psychiatrist they point out how extremely negative I am. And they say it in a way that makes me feel helpless and hopeless. I feel like I'll never become the positive person I want to be.,7.252999999999999,6.0432409666666675,8.73,68.09500000000003,64.33333333333334,13.333333333333336,36.66666666666667,12.45797560212912,4.758166666666666,238,10,45,8,3,84,43,60,0.314,0.629,0.057,-0.9596,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,2,2,11,9,5,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,5,7,1,5,7,1,7,0,2,1,0,6,3,0,1,4,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22535646050783464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991160379649022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449858113293566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273884681285064,0.19348461620878216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231632664626405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078450116122388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20888468957350406,0.26157418217861994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364827219659496,0.0,0.0,0.2560266670150629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43075780984976064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768695681090144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144603715169854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974553154370236,0.21497625899310047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,panicmixiegreamdrirl,2019/02/13,"Even if I'm mentally feeling fine, my mental illness affects my physical health significantly. Looking for any ideas about the link between mental illness and  immune response-gotta state the purpose before venting.

Years of chronic health issues and plenty of negative/normal blood tests later, I'm beginning to believe my mental health is impacting my immune system significantly.

From severe muscle tension, two types of eczema, frequent sinus infections and bronchitis, dizziness and low blood sugar, asthma,heavy and long periods with severe PMS, angular cheilitis, fatigue/low energy, I've had a lot of health complaints most of my adult life. I spent a lot of time during my early 20s cancelling plans because I was feeling sick or unwell. I've visited doctors fairly often. Tested for diabetes (high genetic risk + get what mimic hypoglycemic episodes) and lupus multiple times, all negative (was prediabetic once but in the normal range currently).

I'm visibly healthy. Almost 26, fit into cultural norms of what ""healthy"" looks like. Dance and do yoga though not as often when my depression is flaring up. Within the healthy ranges for blood glucose,  blood pressure, immune cell count, etc. 

I should be happy but I want to cry because i want answers. I'm currently experiencing a rash and perhaps an allergic reaction to birth control that I started to alleviate severe symptoms associated with my menstrual cycle, which was impacting my mental health significantly. I'm tired of constantly fighting off some respiratory infection, being as tense as someone twice my age, and feeling hopelessly exhausted after God knows how much rest. I've left some great opportunities in my life (significant ones related to education and career) due to not being healthy enough. Even when I mentally accept stressors , my body does not.

I don't know where to begin because no one can find an answer. Is anyone else trapped in this cycle ? Multiple health professionals have told me my sickly nature is likely due to depression.


",9.099213903743316,10.750121252941177,8.970213903743318,58.27687165775404,60.0,11.475935828877006,40.45454545454545,11.299434782280676,5.483205882352941,1646,85,211,45,22,534,218,340,0.191,0.6759999999999999,0.133,-0.9748,2,1,0,0,2,1,50.0,0,0,0,3,10,16,1,3,9,0,16,33,6,3,1,47,36,21,0,5,7,0,3,2,0,1,26,2,0,1,5,13,1,1,11,2,1,2,6,9,0,4,6,9,22,7,35,26,10,37,0,4,2,0,6,12,0,10,23,129,27,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269504055840499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05615933650807595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774402019005001,0.0846161400658673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510256646454529,0.0,0.07027213132901419,0.09304286824696696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173120154026118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924298753380205,0.0926239632471746,0.0,0.0,0.090713652075234,0.0,0.0,0.14225739745974736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452729709754941,0.07226902296899032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898757905727143,0.0,0.0,0.0853304130076785,0.09210198080173862,0.10909071080097373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526948255828133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547945272867017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04314625865600192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104815380264447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879112402743891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5266918094749564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725357401436729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932262622278438,0.0,0.08619529543840886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907710185761127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972677437327511,0.0,0.11666176456871374,0.08069185758628719,0.0,0.0,0.07308344035357732,0.13869800146439615,0.0,0.0,0.14041838837185994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49934601616888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06070807697183714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809138990675451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087948300974833,0.1119208849046646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279886173084898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997238841752626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05845273970747283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583545622731915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113747155912422,0.0,0.09630973364274928,0.09491711926056992,0.0,0.07891168631166835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067168404076079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741929819311633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531808055992618
mentalhealth,Elevateddiscourse,2019/02/13,"Rambling my 3am thoughts... I need help. I practice yoga and meditation daily. I also train jiu jitsu most days out of the week. But sadly, I have no friends. I seem to be lacking the ability to connect with any people. The ones I find small connections with, I start to dislike them. The ones I like are much older than me. Ive also always been able to make friends with immigrants. But they’ve all gone and I’m alone again. I’ve always only had one or two friends at a time. But then that ends. It’s just so strange. I always try to be a good person. I go out of my way more than anyone I know. Daily, I do things no one else does. I make it a point to compliment people on random things daily, I always purchase a meal if I see someone digging for change, old, young or poor. I ask people out in the street if they need a ride when it’s snowing or raining. I bury dead animals if I see one in the street. I took a pigeon home because I seen it shivering. I picked up someone else’s dogs poop all because I had an extra bag in my pocket and I didn’t want anyone else to step in it. 

I can go on and on and on about how I am as a person. I’m a good person. I’m proud of myself. I have no debt, perfect credit, a good savings amount, a great job, I have my own apartment in Times Square. I take care of myself. But still, no friends. No calls emails or texts. I have a large family and I’ve worked with hundreds of people while serving in the navy. I’ve contacted people so many times over the last few years. But so many have not responded, and none have ever asked about me. Wtf is wrong with me? How much of a pos can I be, as far as in social interactions? I believe I’m funny because I can always make people laugh. I can honestly talk about any subject. I ask many questions as I can and always try to let the other person say a lot. Then I try and speak as well. It is possible that I talk too much. It is definitely possible that I’m a know it all. It’s also possible that my sense of humor can be a little insulting, even if in my head I’m aware that it’s to bring joy through humor. I’m probably a narcissist based on how good I feel about myself. Or I’m none of these self diagnosed things and the thing that keeps me from having a long meaningful relationship through a “best friend” or any friends at all is because I over think things. 

Honestly, it’s so much, and what I’ve written is so little. Who the heck’s going to read all this anyway? I’m like a ghost. People would only care if I were dead. The only people I have are my immediate family. But they’re all too busy to spend anymore than about a day per month seeing me. Having 1 friend was always enough for me. Although I’ve felt jealous if they had more and I only had 1. Not because I wouldn’t get to be around them and when I wouldn’t be invited to go with them, but when I realized that if they were busy, I had nothing else to do. If I had two friends, I would often try and bring everyone together. But most likely they wouldn’t get along as well as I’d hoped. Point is, I’m a fucking mess when it comes to relationships. I’m all over the place with these past thoughts. But none of it really explains why I’m....wait. I just realized a big thing. If someone wrongs me, I cut them off forever and never let them live it down. I never forgive someone who’s truly hurt me or given me bad vibes. If you challenge me and I see the real you and your real thoughts. I discard them to protect myself. I believe if I’m alone, then I can’t have my feelings hurt. It feels safe not to let anyone in, especially if they’ve wronged you in the past. How do you love on with that person if you know they are capable and likely to repeat the mistake? Is it really a mistake if they allow it to happen? What if they never apologize sincerely? Would if they never agree that it was them who was wrong? And I mean that in the assumption that I’m right of course. 

With all this said and all the possible relationships, still, none? Not a single one. Not one person who values me? Where are the people like the ones on “friends”? Where are the groups of people who go out every weekend to celebrate the end of a week? Where are the people who throw birthday parties for you and invite you to weddings? Have I simply not included myself in any of these peoples lives? Have I not engaged enough with them to matter? How come I’m turning 29 next month and have never been to a wedding (other than when I was a ring boy for my uncle at age 3 or 4)? How come I don’t get invited to birthday parties and stuff like that? When do I get to go on a “night out”? 

I’m feeling tired again. And not the sleepy kind. Tired like I don’t want to do this anymore. Tired like, I’m putting in 100% effort all the time and receiving all the achievements but with not a single person to share them with. I’m sure I could find a relationship with a woman. Although it’s been months and I still have no one in that department either. ",1.5001070925035231,3.4065086052376365,3.216557440979134,90.93263701540891,79.82444228903977,6.075018748687593,21.589098763086586,7.105664193308735,0.5510988650794446,3856,113,837,47,97,1281,361,1031,0.1,0.759,0.141,0.9854,2,2,0,0,0,0,120.0,0,8,17,7,44,63,4,0,58,0,75,9,2,11,19,173,152,93,3,31,46,0,5,8,9,6,4,4,1,10,55,49,1,3,22,3,5,19,31,15,2,11,26,15,115,48,114,110,35,120,0,3,6,2,80,52,2,32,56,585,170,6,0.039227216946246334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125513289333107,0.0,0.0941099736585302,0.2284813084827556,0.0,0.0,0.1067034107281352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778057170860942,0.08228574650111728,0.040192919419459634,0.0,0.0349205397351065,0.11001645767908463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03275308762816921,0.1195627367828379,0.0,0.0,0.0883912809800753,0.041166544058123186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04005537436789981,0.0,0.07998952406732181,0.0,0.04149719418578017,0.1013723219520813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031319740783883915,0.0,0.0,0.05059661948727868,0.0,0.0,0.03981479947401022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0343280018972103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107722492820334,0.0,0.06948734191905838,0.08106440240306602,0.0,0.02590920683230157,0.03548326352843305,0.03305062213320648,0.0374832868375896,0.0,0.0,0.07395985800803284,0.0,0.0793378381360511,0.0,0.03766427991748302,0.0,0.0717059312558293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27276165454815915,0.036264929967852036,0.08197840724296446,0.0,0.13376238829272635,0.13160771380723688,0.0,0.043248145167477714,0.0,0.0,0.03468849839569221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04025844163921171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02629317664482377,0.0,0.03934809698885548,0.038961477515283546,0.0,0.0,0.08398709411511013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038926959960278514,0.03486695280356966,0.0,0.04084911000273645,0.06467475765992167,0.031975417398092884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033746115839344,0.0,0.15331549405338196,0.07863195347958775,0.06927670247893103,0.03471485258889905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0333495770691458,0.03540409482679,0.0,0.07855341574785311,0.1193107230850082,0.0,0.0427299391071676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393237095104244,0.0,0.11534607198768555,0.05817296863876106,0.1512722399508083,0.0,0.041718590245406494,0.03681208577949987,0.0,0.03763957262381487,0.0,0.04116236545693841,0.0,0.2392323967001745,0.11933626453485907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489363445461789,0.3263425567594947,0.2397618494121912,0.040984092621297666,0.0,0.07416479874247513,0.17689117243696306,0.0,0.0,0.04229357453892752,0.0,0.0,0.03943418766099902,0.04394346055013591,0.0,0.0392378323882539,0.08929832163109039,0.05025991929212412,0.0,0.0,0.16846140249656946,0.0,0.033499828938222384,0.037314066258173725,0.031195057380856064,0.0,0.0,0.1250360525650377,0.035710985036628624,0.04092254241306255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03998720767678291,0.13294837448569627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027765226055930736,0.0,0.09398071837540248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490577837402362,0.0,0.0,0.03697118773679353,0.0,0.02949398525619348,0.06305870216164837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636491937838093,0.02513521669355641,0.0,0.09342608559800034,0.0914948226331143,0.13525774596894774,0.0,0.0,0.04358288138377528,0.10653082145741656,0.04266794765860691,0.0766385820378575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046274457794083484,0.0311367389352756,0.06293141457005635,0.0,0.07053995806808662,0.0,0.035396461890698734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028557881130766308,0.0,0.0,0.08359766830432845,0.1715552149561552,0.0,0.025261041598555557
mentalhealth,nomlons,2019/02/13,"Ever since February started, I cry before I sleep. I learn at a boarding school. If you don't what that is, it's basically a school but you live there in dorms or little apartments in my case. So here is the problem I'm currently facing.

January was fine. However, February is not and I don't think it will get better for the rest of my life here. You see, all of a sudden after the Chinese New Year holidays, all of my friends and those the same age as me betrayed me. My best friend is now with someone else. The big problem here is everyone is bullying me(for being me). 

I can't do sports well. My legs aren't normal. It takes more effort for me to walk. I fall easily which is why I don't like running. Everyone started mocking me and calling me out for that. They try to run like me in front of other people. Right now I'm on medicatio so I can't go for sports. Nobody wants to believe that. Someone started spreading rumors that I say I'm sick everyday and people believe it despite me being on medication for only 2 days so far. Others believe it.(People mocking me for sports has been happening since last year)

I had a bad day at school one time. I wanted the day to end. Any questions asked were answered by me quickly because I wanted my day to end. At night, the warden had a meeting with us saying some people went to the school cafe a little to early. He called them to stand in front. I was one of them. He asked us why we came early. I said I was bored (answering as fast as possible so it could end). He got mad at some other people after that and finally it ended. I could go to sleep.
The next day, as expected, everyone was mocking me. It made it impossible to have a conversation with anyone at all. Even my close friends were in on this. I had to give a presentation today but I kept getting interrupted by those who were mocking me. It's making it hard for me to be the class monitor. I walk back my room all alone now. A group of people way in front of me. They shout and bully me verbally and do other things. I try to ignore them by pretending I'm on my phone but it's hard. Their words cut deep inside. Someone tried to disturb me while I was taking a nap due to headaches. Their voice woke me up but I sleep with my arm covering my eyes so they didn't see me waking up. 

This is just some stuff that happened to me. There is a lot more to be said but I will leave it out.
Anytime of the day, I can expect to be bullied for any reason. I can't stop it because I'm alone and they come in groups. I get bullied because of how I talk, what I talk about, what I do. I watch anime, I like memes and play some video games. I get bullied for that. I get bullied for being ME. No matter what, they will continue to make me suffer. Lately, bad rumours about me have been spreading like wildfire. Nothing changes if I tell anyone. No one is helping. I'm not enjoying things as much. My food doesn't taste good anymore. I have to put on a mask everyday so I don't look like a mess. I am now scared to approach people. I have been having a lot of nightmares lately. My mental health is deteriorating quickly but nobody cares. 

I came to school to learn. Not to become a garbage bin for people to throw their trash into but I feel like I was born to be messed with.
I come to reddit to find help now. Hopefully someone out there will see this.",1.1445097652396932,3.4064257664233613,2.9725438942592253,90.2382240086802,83.30656934306569,5.629710001972775,21.8115012823042,6.944025365002641,0.631591043598343,2610,86,545,33,74,868,291,685,0.195,0.731,0.07400000000000001,-0.9982,2,2,0,0,0,0,83.0,3,3,11,3,27,35,6,2,26,0,60,14,8,5,5,79,107,32,0,13,14,0,3,6,3,4,4,6,2,0,38,24,2,3,9,9,0,18,15,17,1,3,25,16,94,18,89,69,16,101,0,1,6,0,47,32,0,11,55,376,132,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014969961011253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888967927226244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752457231296259,0.08111575947890705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845217913526273,0.0,0.0,0.04460164329414981,0.0968621550344226,0.10607645127757794,0.0640610729509596,0.04935729521597021,0.1960525842444485,0.060871820972382085,0.05129999419927468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184575306618877,0.13268268640282682,0.05913913956218125,0.0,0.061360744097597876,0.0999309508016884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926232550007703,0.0,0.06371488128961157,0.2244474317947724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845505951459515,0.0,0.20549799036671731,0.0,0.0,0.0383112217922765,0.052468112503420684,0.0,0.1662764736296076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0293286623267114,0.04143820638361626,0.0,0.06354075715800926,0.0530147806906016,0.0,0.07013889925673203,0.0,0.13444168465492862,0.0,0.15152398153246474,0.05564290640462618,0.06593023808764764,0.048651164293434364,0.0463912511586814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025858309194977,0.0,0.10392072576799216,0.0,0.0,0.061655743740894164,0.0,0.0,0.07775797449789128,0.0,0.0,0.05761125055290724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04728115822950232,0.13086251021321746,0.0614180642268688,0.0,0.0,0.04097007622605429,0.1700275099568667,0.1162708773454509,0.05121876425794295,0.0,0.04870891258507175,0.0,0.0,0.09862617964682524,0.0,0.054884968991540495,0.0774364971941152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058433121130441475,0.05845458284539502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04263975519774295,0.0,0.0,0.05602081011984512,0.06168811627842841,0.05443300491840822,0.05683179274374892,0.05565658664470095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791542506107268,0.04411480181590177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217024268167186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539101123581473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111004356291289,0.0,0.058310233866182073,0.06497796996847928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059637970002316715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953526307318267,0.11035053891393902,0.09225452325702116,0.05807231514579241,0.2935166952057181,0.1386654936849828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596333410959217,0.0,0.17413824592329485,0.0,0.1965870547412541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316699701690148,0.0,0.0,0.048494101801762016,0.0,0.0,0.06640092250516827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722386740758327,0.0932431448050396,0.05069822048177042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707081560634088,0.03716674415301769,0.0,0.0,0.03382271083625122,0.0,0.054981191802367366,0.0,0.0,0.1181431167012864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954380231418084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026371259070874,0.04604102776895344,0.0,0.0,0.05215273466795441,0.05377046714080298,0.10467952268347833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747055958640641
mentalhealth,ljc4343,2019/02/13,"Advice for starting meds? I am 15, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder recently. I going on Prozac and Ritalin soon for depression. Any advice on what to expect?",3.2360000000000007,6.3152972666666685,5.630000000000003,65.38500000000002,93.0,10.4,29.33333333333333,9.3871,5.0625333333333336,138,7,18,6,5,48,25,30,0.281,0.7190000000000001,0.0,-0.8541,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,6,3,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5500206855851719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19138219257030906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4847908527423079,0.2856457377729946,0.0,0.0,0.32254340114212665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15994327316694948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126055179686731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778783790996925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991977502324836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WilmaDickFitInU,2019/02/13,"I (18F) push everyone away, and still expect help and guidance. I always have been (and I believe it’s very normal) questioning myself as a person. For the past years that has become more intense, and I’ve become rather insecure, like many other girls. I do, however, come off as a confident person to most people around me.

(I’ve been struggling a lot with mental health issues throughout my teen years, and I’ve been documented as depressed since 7th grade. The depression usually lasts from early fall, until early summer. During the summer I have an intense feeling of satisfaction with life, which circles back to a constant feeling of ten weights in my chest around fall.
I’ve been seeking help for this for a long time, but I’ve somehow understood that just dealing with it myself is the best solution, as people generally seem to get tired of dealing with my shit. Professionals have barely been to any help. It might seem like a bad idea, but after at least 7 years I’ve learned some things for myself.)

My problems do still affect me in a bad manner. I get anxious and insecure, and let others take the shit for it. Every time I accidentally bitch to a friend, because I’m feeling bad, I feel super bad right away. I seem to push people away when I need them the most, either by being passive aggressive, or trying to avoid loading them with my problems.

I feel like such a horrible person. I get stuck in a trail of thoughts telling me I’m not worth shit, and that I can’t do anything right. It makes my mentality worse, and it continues as a bad circle.
I’ve tried stopping the circle. Being nothing but nice to the few close friends I have. Usually realising how lonely I am, I break down again and the circle continues. 

I am so very lost, and I don’t know what to do. It affects my schoolwork, eating habits, social life, and my hope for a future without a heavy set of problems. I’m probably not alone about this, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Please share tips, experiences or just some help. Thanks.

TL;DR
My bad mentality makes me worse of a person, which again makes my mentality even worse. I’ve no clue what to do, though I’ve been trying hard and often to break the circle.",5.071642857142855,6.431201926190479,5.603333333333333,79.825,69.02380952380952,8.171428571428573,28.285714285714285,8.548686976883017,2.0867285714285715,1739,60,318,27,30,560,205,420,0.245,0.609,0.146,-0.9955,1,4,0,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,2,3,21,33,5,4,25,0,26,10,4,7,0,74,54,29,0,8,13,0,7,3,2,1,4,0,0,5,21,22,2,2,14,0,1,5,7,22,0,1,10,7,37,11,50,40,10,49,0,4,0,0,19,14,4,15,30,208,58,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708733205922933,0.0,0.0,0.056939625838610675,0.0,0.0,0.09307012083475348,0.0,0.0,0.07730694356654963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056312439181713476,0.12183523771482245,0.0,0.0,0.19287801358678275,0.05261880095226363,0.3428194621855179,0.04171457419693681,0.15115213689165202,0.0,0.07709769674105738,0.07181354754630133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058946783356457526,0.0,0.07394901854147565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109760212117076,0.11787811247834352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002144582331728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519767445407637,0.0,0.0576556152162478,0.06538823850994921,0.0,0.06693812214732907,0.0,0.0,0.17300248726124842,0.04888673538636907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057384096499208,0.0,0.10725627535069338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061300252413771364,0.0,0.0,0.07273838064821744,0.0,0.0,0.18346998363140574,0.0,0.0,0.06796688869649861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772496616770936,0.0,0.07142362303983382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03760759204285469,0.05577995943474548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997478321472249,0.09666891740827784,0.10029500083467642,0.0,0.0,0.06055880506840392,0.0,0.0,0.0746999323419979,0.05817713129192244,0.0,0.0,0.1827114577561817,0.06937774740050609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758472408027069,0.07259390570164716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074032014140882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704732313160901,0.06566087341279782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532461859353875,0.14232319746795113,0.239003358070034,0.0,0.07511609747230548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377961146716625,0.1964361298306114,0.0,0.0,0.07665777795460818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168784804889776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688956631134584,0.0,0.0,0.2107286561491512,0.056606384914191225,0.0,0.0,0.06975623787330848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929730993787024,0.05721092994796492,0.0,0.07153837623183275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145119079063458,0.0,0.05981123956735826,0.06300157504957829,0.0,0.0,0.045462157962132634,0.0,0.06723258100768455,0.05432614269396356,0.07980470483660898,0.07865074899520573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393793744456146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073297117356393,0.11292459475129338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332986686353604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596452296319201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920945941495828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220092092347988
mentalhealth,Ummgh23,2019/02/13,"I thought I'm getting better..  

After a week of vacation where I felt great and thought ""Hey, maybe it's going up now"" I am sitting at work again unable to cope. I feel every heartbeat over my whole body, am nauseous as hell, my ears ring, i can't breathe, my walking is unsteady because I feel like I am in a rocking boat all the time, I'm twitchy and tired.

​

""going up"" yeah right. fuck this illness. I'm on Lexapro 20mg, Wellbutrin 150mg and Trazodone 50mg and still feel like shit most of the time, at least it's better than without medication.

​

I had a lot of sick leaves thinking I'm dying, but every single doctore i went to confirmed what i kind of already knew but didn't want to believe: It's all psychosomatic. And it's hell. Sometimes i'd rather some doctor finds a physical cause for my problems, so it can be treated, but that's never gonna happen, because there is none.

​

In April I'm going to a rehab clinic specialized on psychosomatic disorders for 6 weeks to get intensive Therapy. I hope to come out as a changed person. If even that doesn't help... I don't know. This life isn't worth living.

​

Just needed an outlet.. stay strong fellow sufferers <3",3.2714647377938526,5.369846755274267,4.146449668474987,85.43569620253164,75.11814345991561,6.202049427365884,28.58529234478602,7.07126945348624,1.574840626883665,959,41,181,10,21,308,151,237,0.14400000000000002,0.785,0.071,-0.9417,0,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,0,4,9,16,4,0,9,1,13,14,4,1,3,35,40,12,1,6,7,0,4,2,1,1,9,2,0,1,10,7,0,0,10,1,1,6,8,6,0,0,7,6,16,10,27,31,9,30,2,1,0,1,4,12,4,5,12,103,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968676095411572,0.0,0.0,0.3804391460346902,0.4266500985918682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070199638851847,0.0,0.0,0.09889820140444787,0.0,0.15526886864314934,0.0,0.09750398946129313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017442327212273,0.09285978940003986,0.07561485101313987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911019663675552,0.0,0.10060368924429272,0.17969346409953466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05797797988939779,0.0,0.14791717228349516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331528869358962,0.12542035382679234,0.08428273693357585,0.0,0.08022949268979425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115136036295903,0.09172304033197687,0.0,0.1496624946604857,0.0,0.0,0.09677795646170452,0.0,0.0,0.07762372176795015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058837203184523665,0.0,0.0,0.08718552344976087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914095477166742,0.04824169034105368,0.0,0.0,0.092946534357435,0.0,0.0,0.06200173589817854,0.0857699223339216,0.0,0.07751150564207489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462756853769327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881869875553997,0.0,0.0,0.0884292946892773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508788994728651,0.06770148497759336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664626584804969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399377565647556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496379264135075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010509158496023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681684086729488,0.0,0.0,0.09356199053831556,0.07010136377682147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038428399895068,0.0,0.0,0.0562459938433096,0.0,0.13937531285064164,0.1023706557468454,0.10089040196444984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177502346450317,0.0,0.1408239284193466,0.0,0.0,0.08137310471161964,0.0,0.0980034342556951,0.0,0.08461695943360056,0.0,0.06390501525577963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266500985918682,0.0
mentalhealth,PoliteCobweb,2019/02/13,"Have you ever felt really listless? Like you feel sleepy but don’t want to sleep. You want to maybe watch a movie or show but none of the options sound good. You don’t feel like moving or talking. Even if you feel hungry you don’t have the energy to actually put something in your mouth, chew, and swallow. Like you literally just feel like laying there and not moving. But you still want to do something. And all at the same time you feel like you’re running out of time but like there’s nothing you can do about it. You can feel time slipping away but all you can do is sit there and watch it happen, feeling so goddamn heavy. You hear your phone go off and though it makes you anxious and curious you don’t have the motivation to pick it up and look at it. You feel exhausted even though you haven’t done anything but you definitely don’t want to fall asleep because it feels like you’d be wasting time. And you don’t want later to come. ",3.000447368421053,4.793787400000003,3.449671052631583,91.48082236842107,75.0,6.434210526315789,22.927631578947373,7.1686216300943375,0.6050789473684208,746,21,160,8,16,232,94,190,0.068,0.718,0.214,0.9779,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,22,0,1,12,9,0,0,5,0,20,6,3,3,3,44,41,20,0,6,11,0,10,7,0,0,1,2,0,0,6,10,2,0,11,1,0,7,9,1,0,0,2,15,22,8,17,37,4,22,0,0,3,0,25,7,0,4,14,102,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.10599742087385317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270964723417155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938497925396913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205203618433613,0.0,0.0,0.06621372477134982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356648520237026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115594007126488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348492987024394,0.09825298033819296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4942936787500419,0.31039250949185504,0.1042922038785781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061731231384545227,0.09110527634172773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605227963606912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242259903170945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714636108473935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121341710555723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250467258352303,0.0,0.10912335811797144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308916737202457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422378950522032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919306962292392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958473334972727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869841278492996,0.0,0.0,0.16724191725908746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674404734792293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873046164239618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134371355916756,0.0,0.25334870908969104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32033435905348656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wonderbuoy89,2019/02/13,"Did I suffer from a mental illness? When I was 14 till I was around 17 I actually convinced myself I was the reincarnation of Tupac Shakur.  I know it sounds ridiculous, especially since I'm white, but in my head this was quite real.  Not only that but when I went to my dads for dinner he made me sausages and I managed to convince myself that he had chopped off random people's dicks and was trying to feed me them.  Yeah. Crazy right? I eventuwlly (thank fuck) grew out of this and became a relatively normal adult. But it's always lingered in my mind just how a teenage boy could get so fucked up? Looking back I think it may have been schizophrenia. This may have been caused by losing a friend at 14 to suicide which really was my first experience with a death situation. Anyway, I was hoping someone with a better understanding could at least perhaps suggest what this episode in my early years could have been? If not schizophrenia.  Thanks for listening.",4.587500000000002,6.722956083333332,4.757777777777778,82.32500000000002,71.5,7.022222222222222,26.44444444444445,7.793537801064563,1.5728444444444445,765,26,138,10,15,239,120,180,0.18,0.725,0.095,-0.9635,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,1,4,8,12,3,0,7,1,20,7,2,3,0,30,34,12,2,6,7,1,0,0,1,2,1,2,0,2,11,7,2,0,3,0,0,2,2,5,0,1,14,4,21,7,22,15,1,19,0,2,2,3,9,10,3,5,7,99,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.15455033777814522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317799910789856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409865827418049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177995583831555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006907743044852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269389203289306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793466474723258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549203214721073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347129825239393,0.0,0.0,0.12235948581632515,0.2928287242020052,0.08274396374937887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253758264557178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730127927917442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703829838918459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299440974454976,0.17718017835693614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985746278217993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960390675545086,0.0,0.1599127576841176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517305416085056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045068791582438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979670376841696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845041748874734,0.0,0.18026447052147251,0.10145854450742904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525067024341614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100874459816714,0.17801919533360624,0.0,0.0,0.1341899147464517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17323562964593195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29161930292719485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147976906945362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075256610285086,0.0,0.0,0.16487308951489968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468144361997415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198776876001417
mentalhealth,Skow1379,2019/02/13,"I believe I've realized what's wrong with me, finally. But what do I do? Background: I'm 25(m) been very depressed & at times suicidal my entire life. 

But depression in their terms never fully fit what was going on with me. I had a bad episode the other day, and after talking to an old friend I've noticed a pattern. Sometimes I'm EXTREMELY happy, it's rare, but I can feel it when it happens. I feel just happy, confident. Like I can accomplish things.. I try to tell myself to enjoy it when it happens because it's usually short lived. Then other times I get EXTREMELY depressed. Otherwise I generally feel anxious and a bit sad (but not always depressed, that part is just me. I believe 100% I have type 2 Bipolar. From what people who've been diagnosed have told me, I'm convinced I have it & also that the meds could have fantastic effects on my quality of life. 

But I do not have insurance and definitely can't afford to pay for a mental health evaluation along with medication out of pocket. Dealing with mental illness has hampered my life in incredible ways, and thinking all the way back to childhood I feel this diagnosis would've changed my life.. 

My question is this: Do I have any options? Or should i face the fact that I need to deal with this on my own? 

I just want to be happy.. If you want anymore details or context I have absolutely no problem talking about what's going on with me. Thanks in advance.

​",3.460108303249097,5.685074837545128,4.791127797833937,80.44728375451267,74.9927797833935,7.464490974729243,30.574584837545125,8.364918446050245,2.552955061371841,1138,54,205,21,25,377,156,277,0.134,0.708,0.158,0.8515,1,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,1,3,8,16,0,0,9,0,24,10,1,1,3,44,42,16,1,7,13,0,4,1,1,1,9,0,0,0,21,12,0,0,8,0,1,3,5,8,0,0,5,4,33,8,29,34,5,30,0,5,0,0,10,11,0,5,15,143,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735534505601263,0.08048752403830818,0.314422365569683,0.11753814389503915,0.06578005631058997,0.0,0.0,0.1092779305624011,0.09593066268985898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437978286890004,0.08076592618078578,0.05896601433490671,0.0,0.0,0.2179642956324513,0.0,0.0,0.1056046518648976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232804187401112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723143237271363,0.0,0.0,0.06238316950296144,0.19944979397413748,0.3332553479920292,0.09817942026494812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956393867651252,0.0,0.0,0.10596353344133716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473374353207847,0.0,0.05053769329299228,0.0,0.10994834340772673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17107692151375872,0.30891424445968274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281999705310782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732944482532918,0.0472576357367468,0.0,0.08541480275052707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744577799434528,0.0974458011192706,0.1949631833544078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172443929766335,0.07460452403004195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012831417070064,0.10150238681810177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474970403569032,0.0,0.06706074846059618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255802374809648,0.0,0.0,0.10836029662950387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956689368459207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580746584708094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549662192652738,0.08454671964448265,0.08905644727323936,0.0,0.0,0.06426344532333153,0.06198099791556371,0.0,0.0,0.11280866363809218,0.0,0.0,0.09243013703337992,0.0,0.06567365922478921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653497860246797,0.0798127920643771,0.11410830895339752,0.15356033525181492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871457111467665,0.10575961558476862,0.11753814389503915,0.0
mentalhealth,Shaybay97,2019/02/13,"How long does it take for effexor withdrawal to wear off? I finally have weaned myself off of my effexor because I felt like it wasn't helping me anymore. However, I feel super hazy and I can't think straight and it's making it hard for me to get anything done. I was wondering if anyone else experienced this and how long it took them to feel alright.",2.477285714285713,4.8438698714285735,4.155714285714286,83.07928571428572,78.85714285714286,8.0,28.57142857142857,8.841846274778883,2.6181428571428587,281,13,54,7,7,94,49,70,0.071,0.792,0.13699999999999998,0.6753,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,5,1,1,3,0,12,14,6,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,5,10,3,8,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,4,35,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340493056981495,0.1650171954684675,0.24181063388174803,0.19420848959091574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386385257746134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206525826403129,0.241510681218177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971483242892004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23865811699656775,0.0,0.2265977075837057,0.2585272605845277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233006391819835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21141029594552505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818631249193013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529803425709978,0.0,0.0,0.4177064334156784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753231771438406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744317590043227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121973644147108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622054910671981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559327210971252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maybe-im-real,2019/02/13,"I’m really struggling with my depression and anxiety, and my boyfriend has never seen me like this before. Also what’s wrong with my meds??? So my boyfriend and I have been good friends for about 6 years before we started our relationship 7 months ago. He knows I’ve struggled before with anxiety and that I’m going to a doctor for it. I started a new medication at my doctors request, see if it works and all. And honestly it’s making everything worse??

BF commented on my anxiety earlier in the day, saying he thinks it’s getting worse, and that I seem to be falling apart a lot faster/easier. Well, tonight around 8pm I started slipping into a really bad depressive state and it feels so bad. He’s never seen me in one, over that past couple years I hid mine as best I could from my friends, with probably isn’t good. He’s been comforting me best he can, and I feel more human, but I feel such static and lumpy grey and I keep weeping all the time. 

BF has told me before that he gets upset when I get upset, like a sympathetic reaction. So when I’m laying next to him weeping, I feel even worse because I’m upsetting him, even though he says he’s fine. 

Ugh I don’t know, I feel so ugly rn",4.413573651452282,5.095560759336099,5.658648858921166,81.3208363589212,70.03734439834025,9.178526970954355,29.170383817427386,9.354420925462401,2.4207529045643152,937,34,190,19,16,314,136,241,0.243,0.655,0.102,-0.9878,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,2,0,0,3,14,25,0,5,7,0,10,3,0,1,4,37,36,22,0,2,2,0,5,2,4,0,3,2,0,1,11,18,0,1,9,0,0,2,4,13,1,1,5,11,29,12,19,29,6,28,0,4,4,0,23,8,0,3,19,110,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917332023868467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044751934913259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23086967579535486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955280785271476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679888675947248,0.06132310024231383,0.0,0.3424031244368975,0.0,0.21114104409395548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803186534255163,0.11130885361801128,0.0,0.0648768515222288,0.0,0.17328838774087305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20593092936727944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288696215292167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041024855487176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543247551420578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544224576793322,0.0,0.1576736057258081,0.0,0.057171689152788974,0.1687522643681529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941538557288355,0.0,0.0,0.11057114598980476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829339039398924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552411531715427,0.0,0.0,0.06714939116065807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174077625694516,0.10134106396084028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029570018808467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517347601756,0.09715737225160304,0.10698623000884253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816724488843881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603138019317614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846076214226916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889024422883294,0.0,0.0,0.1080037115893114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999781222016635,0.0,0.0,0.08016291897946959,0.09157988408756827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136095810232503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21033200512252545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445860367477338,0.09883620734612407,0.0,0.05865901796575219,0.0,0.0,0.09612490555179606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904489357657211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323593681494922,0.0,0.3075513270440109,0.0,0.10998721180743004,0.0,0.12956255668411884
mentalhealth,hereforteacake,2019/02/13,"Can't Recognize Myself during Breakdowns? I have diagnosed and untreated Bipolar disorder ( no clue if I or II as the mental healthy system in WI is pretty bad and usually just trying to get you medicated as soon as possible) with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and during depressive episodes I eventually hit what seems like a 3 day-to-a whole week mental collapse where i'm constantly angry, crying, suicidal, and nothing feels better. Sleep, eating, talking to others --- nothing breaks me out of them, I just run in a cycle of either sobbing my eyes out, feeling destructive and angry, or being absolute devoid of all emotion altogether. In these moments I seem utterly helpless and hopeless and even sometimes get violent, but luckily don't do anything, just keep it all in and let it out emotionally.

While i'm seeking out help to ease these, one thing i've found unanswered and confused about is how I can't recognize myself after I get out of these moments --- I see the things I texted, remember the things I said, and look at the things i've caused and i'm unable to think of why I said that or remember how I felt. I only really even know specifics of these swings because I often have my thoughts cataloged in messages and in my journal.

It feels like in those moments I become someone else, but not in an alter/fragment way, but as if I just momentarily lose myself and run purely on emotion. I retain my memories of events and don't feel visually or physically detached from the episode, but just emotionally; I have no recollection of what I was feeling, what got me to that point, or how I felt in those moments, which makes it hard to ever recognize when it's going to happen again or what triggers it.

 I'm worried about why this is essentially; is this just something that happens in downward swings, in Bipolar shifts, or just the effects of being suicidal? I heavily regret a lot of things I say and do in these moments because they're needy, often attacks on my friends/family ( luckily indirect, I never say it to them) for things i'm paranoid or believe in that are obviously not true, and even think/write things that are so disgustingly cynical and negative, even though I would consider myself a big optimistic.

​

Does anybody else know why this is, or has experience this sort of detachment in heavy downward moodswings? It just makes me feel disgusting and like i'm broken with how doctors and other help just gloss over this issue, like there's something wrong with me here that they can't fix so they don't wanna bring it up. Even just knowing that somebody else goes through the same thing would mean a lot to me.",11.865879515489333,8.489715763747455,11.022840604566408,62.06188230249761,57.350305498981676,14.24722907063994,46.412370028942,12.209160746376906,5.634496537678206,2124,101,356,48,19,688,240,491,0.188,0.736,0.076,-0.9953,0,0,2,0,0,1,62.0,0,1,4,3,33,21,6,1,13,0,25,8,2,9,7,105,64,47,2,6,28,0,9,4,0,2,5,4,0,0,43,27,1,2,21,0,0,4,12,15,0,1,8,16,43,6,58,50,7,52,0,6,3,0,13,29,1,20,20,262,86,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791169692602351,0.087375427900673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917370815489039,0.0,0.0,0.08180511040971741,0.0,0.0,0.060039720944905735,0.0876682337048058,0.0794161340317074,0.0,0.08101507717767369,0.0,0.06359630002254564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386876360842168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770641274112733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898696227245007,0.04637435940786135,0.0,0.06193378520804646,0.0729845526942332,0.0,0.0,0.16482434529124848,0.07360032667738994,0.06292669802318443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357927768609167,0.18020835385654305,0.32354483140918905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374709776640047,0.06504440938964857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033928847587048,0.06778794851860133,0.0,0.21815141748485906,0.0513706998743849,0.1380848658611121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884281235300412,0.0,0.0,0.1127060313424231,0.0,0.04086666350967335,0.0,0.0575109602478373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271750491018722,0.0,0.06441495518332205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639610203665996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505270037204294,0.0,0.06391464952223608,0.0,0.0,0.11855536937963344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735302441222316,0.0,0.14052140036377295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038415143867541,0.08044604838945271,0.0,0.12226629279006165,0.0,0.0,0.09599756852061386,0.0,0.0,0.07832829836112035,0.0,0.07243919537748894,0.14493160267768815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05545946187709098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799428392673208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04872635215993847,0.054688859433806664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797578706142585,0.08106485067379061,0.0,0.07315573243983174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046065756658882816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291425689339306,0.0,0.13680091177319642,0.11436738797084282,0.0,0.0,0.05730093136013947,0.13092369187342684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719593852201922,0.0,0.06092695286333076,0.11071574313437148,0.07111831118568132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573101683778544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05779648813440614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38217694085840254,0.09215078671685023,0.07064870896838495,0.057086486745497676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04882044148743045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919590214128404,0.0,0.0,0.05707679037870374,0.057679822622352835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946558796362248,0.0802821050044407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302551053242325,0.0,0.10216198512574098,0.0786195132924833,0.087375427900673,0.0
mentalhealth,cjen66,2019/02/13,"Family member struggling with mental health while I struggle supporting family member. This might just be a vent, but I have to get this out if my brain. First of all, I work in mental health. I do suicide prevention for my community and show compassion and empathy on a daily basis. I have also been through my own trauma growing up with my family members and know that mental illness runs in my genes. I'm aware and stay on top of my own self care because of it. I recently received a phone call from my sister that her husband is struggling pretty severely with his mental health. My issue doesn't come from my brother-in-law's struggles. I completely empathize with him and want to help him. He has experienced extreme trauma in his life and I can only imagine how he is feeling right now. My issue comes from my sister. She has always had this attitude of ""why me"", ""why do I have to go through this again?"", ""why do I have to deal with crazy people my whole life"" kind of attitude. I have a problem with her because she is a part of my trauma and I cannot empathize with how she is feeling. I get extremely angry with her, which I hide because I love her and not only want to help my brother-in-law, but I want to keep the peace. I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that I cannot support her and her feelings toward her own situation, but feel I need to be there even more for my brother-in-law as he works through his mental health issues since he doesn't have support from her. I am also feeling like a hypocrite for being angry with my sister, even though her actions are coming from her own pain and she absolutely has a right to her own pain, but I just cannot be there for her, I'm not the right person. I'm just feeling very torn and confused about my own boundaries, but also wanting to help as much as possible if I can. Anyway. Thanks for letting me share and getting it off my chest. Hopefully that is ok to do here. ",5.995212741222971,5.677893005115093,6.581772843524764,79.52969716345038,66.51918158567774,9.15512671471751,31.58346896070681,8.575989854853784,2.360308439897698,1539,54,301,20,22,505,172,391,0.173,0.6759999999999999,0.152,-0.9358,0,0,0,0,0,1,44.0,0,0,0,4,18,22,0,5,11,1,36,12,2,2,2,62,68,29,1,9,12,4,7,1,0,1,9,0,0,2,11,27,0,2,8,1,0,9,7,11,0,1,2,8,62,11,53,60,12,30,0,0,0,1,40,13,0,5,8,224,73,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727124488086552,0.05990190406422859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165431199219266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036526172823306,0.07351039986610769,0.0,0.07339916293480862,0.0,0.0,0.2480539349887335,0.07548072126852866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742190952388009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509815771351332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20359884866915945,0.0,0.2184035088148186,0.05143006280771623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612351244622442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283627213417753,0.0,0.04091388819275788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448939179211731,0.0,0.0,0.30609034992444745,0.0,0.0,0.14476124310999974,0.0,0.0,0.07150285914736358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254182892268271,0.0,0.06398850798801056,0.0,0.07496707889671438,0.03956412318238541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361521417306481,0.10169810797486598,0.035170946007203954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497428144625242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36274770670650347,0.07637059624018472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292133707777018,0.05338008012054544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095041135293358,0.15320604034278545,0.0,0.0,0.07795874946924447,0.0,0.04990918243242353,0.06285937084798808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115852756232493,0.0,0.07324026971260103,0.0,0.06888523314860821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04611898930800158,0.0,0.07108198243387523,0.0,0.0,0.18443860726977285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510184348027871,0.08132882941921317,0.0,0.05955132631471145,0.08092039370433184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673234691150424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010406118295278,0.0,0.07874597640044649,0.2450820666733237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627922556449345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073034917594859,0.0,0.04197826823227043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939974263667306,0.16984756476306812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488082000171816,0.08037487736803961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481995459434644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,demadoggo,2019/02/13,"Wondering about my eating habits... I never just eat normally, or normal portions. I do this thing where I’m either binge eating everything, like absolutely insane amounts of food. And when I’m not doing that i get in moods where i will starve myself and eat nothing at all. I don’t think it’s because I’m worried about my weight, it’s that in these times i feel like i don’t deserve to eat. I feel like I’m so worthless that i shouldn’t even eat.",1.2932608695652164,3.6078313695652175,2.748000000000001,91.74700000000001,83.13043478260869,5.419130434782609,21.156521739130433,6.742157984588678,0.42508782608695617,354,11,74,4,10,115,57,92,0.132,0.7809999999999999,0.087,-0.584,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,2,15,15,5,0,3,4,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,2,8,0,4,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,3,12,3,7,13,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,2,6,46,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811029978231497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8168295053961231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787496848354652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957226824413922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454310027480845,0.1900947508131455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608785435002367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951052187195525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19499720160070272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261250685250647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607117060008348,0.12766026684878154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838918697411234,0.08524986461645276,0.0,0.0,0.07757961009123622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201296887103295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428162842946718,0.0,0.1351136568278061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lucian_Azratron,2019/02/13,Stomach pain I just had a routine crying bout cause of self loathing and wanted to know if anyone else just has random stomach aches and headaches afterwards?,7.437857142857139,9.38512707142857,5.462857142857144,80.83214285714288,64.0,7.028571428571429,35.42857142857143,7.1686216300943375,2.600442857142857,130,6,20,1,2,37,25,28,0.355,0.645,0.0,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,1,0,9,4,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25758016995209193,0.3774492954789409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3784281884589201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046486171487583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30773458930760955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024522566545202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3919827624830266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843011412487538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21728032879082687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anothrthrowawayaccou,2019/02/13,"No idea whats wrong, but i keep hearing my families voices call my name It's never threatening or annoyed, or even happy. It's just like they're calling me for dinner or something. I have no idea how to tell which voices are theirs or my actual families unless they call it more than once, or I actually see them (no visionary problems, the voices never called more than once.) This usually only happens like twice a week, but seriously freaks me out and makes me scared when someone actually does call my name because I can't tell the difference immediately. It's only started since I was like 12 (like 2-3 years ago).  It's not life-threatening, but it makes people really annoyed they always have to call my name twice for me to acknowledge them, and they have no idea why.",7.386325503355707,6.958725040268463,7.8294546979865824,72.10243708053694,63.69798657718122,11.208389261744966,33.39010067114094,10.686352973137794,3.4923214765100674,617,22,113,14,8,204,86,149,0.122,0.7070000000000001,0.171,0.9065,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,6,0,4,12,2,1,3,0,6,1,0,3,2,28,13,13,0,1,11,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,9,3,1,1,4,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,1,5,20,5,9,12,2,9,0,0,1,0,18,1,0,5,12,72,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.2959466251061118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960983807467066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411465195743759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162328674363592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6193427534483509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561712451084014,0.0,0.0,0.08846419717248873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676873267074081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19059657131409075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893932064814834,0.10761176744631784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393533516024855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423535882137303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985308835786064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714025796898174,0.197549104899084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495619659811486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559330752987385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153142665775742,0.0,0.15376640427909627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700828058033388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672910238528223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476059141812683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120833281078256,0.0,0.08055532944288595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362236835067548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565289679167347,0.07782371901294627,0.0,0.0,0.07155174483226143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671354615539975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133592135564484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108798588888327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121764771755404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052561701154044,0.0,0.06509839318491366
mentalhealth,Coyuga,2019/02/14,"Paranoia This has been going on for several years now but recently it's been getting worse and more and more common. I will randomly get extremely paranoid and frightened and see things out of the corner of my eye. Usually, I think it's my cat since it (my cat) is mostly white. But oftentimes it's black or dark blue now.  


There are also times where I will see, hear, or feel things that might or might not be there. I'll hear things such as beeps that sound like they could come from a computer or tablet, whispering, etc. I also have a hard time sleeping at night, but not due to these occurrences.  


Recently I've been having the sensation of being watched from very close by. You know that feeling when someone is watching you or standing right over you? It's just like that, but *far* more intense. Am I going insane or is this some sort of weird reaction to tiredness?",3.4866071428571463,5.671863494047622,3.738714285714284,88.20628571428574,74.77380952380952,7.337142857142857,25.485714285714288,8.238735603445708,1.6049614285714284,689,24,135,12,15,213,109,168,0.119,0.823,0.058,-0.8932,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,1,0,10,3,0,0,4,0,18,2,2,0,0,31,31,18,0,1,13,0,3,2,0,4,0,4,0,0,15,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,3,15,12,2,15,21,6,25,0,0,8,0,6,9,0,12,14,96,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496341909903527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444907375674114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461715557876595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17407042425429484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578374448643374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309068456199846,0.0,0.1774076874548436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981699575101794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518269391247646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577746958315226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250557872526235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311523657855865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647047855272624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082202811888161,0.0,0.0,0.13329144144145158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487510564498326,0.0,0.0,0.17632593952810874,0.0,0.12911096394196786,0.0,0.15619268893293353,0.0,0.13224605195130806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31107778987851026,0.10000974244393113,0.0,0.0,0.18202297115736987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719000359725917,0.1287823211391866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905882355726705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005103832975754
mentalhealth,runfattiesrun,2019/02/14,"Is it possible that I could have seasonal affective disorder? I live in California and we have amazing weather. It rarely rains, and it never gets really cold. It’s nice out for most of the year. However when it actually does rain I feel super depressed. I can’t sleep at all if it is raining and I don’t even want to leave my house if it rains. I just missed valentine’s day plans I had with my best friend because I fell asleep and didn’t wake up for hours before I was supposed to go. I stayed up until 3am because it rained all night and woke up at 6am for school, which is what caused me to fall asleep and miss my plans. I feel super horrible about missing these plans because I rarely get to hang out with anyone and I’m literally at the point of desperation for social contact where I feel suicidal if I miss plans once. Does it sound like I could have seasonal affective disorder?",3.5660415003990416,5.108876094972072,4.624361532322427,84.68096368715086,72.96648044692738,8.466241021548285,26.752194732641662,9.04235418022936,2.028581484437351,707,25,146,15,14,231,106,179,0.151,0.715,0.135,0.1837,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,7,5,12,0,0,2,0,13,4,4,3,3,29,26,12,1,6,4,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,13,12,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,5,0,0,4,5,20,7,23,20,4,25,0,5,0,0,4,11,0,4,10,90,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.1538630731793011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024645645916588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883423133123057,0.0,0.13416546754726813,0.0,0.16546482714414906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16197041414180696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517731625801756,0.0,0.0,0.1016840384478285,0.0,0.1358008493643358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614067186638556,0.0,0.2759559749347044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041394785021513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391679087993863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181536961351852,0.0,0.16475202490714233,0.0,0.08960743472496699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527308620665173,0.1819298894460358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669496528687369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702954639040452,0.0,0.1392254057640655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160474291856245,0.0,0.0,0.1479625154280738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791329218450013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490490140097483,0.17774911606183508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100737198401273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957035114218454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778376212290562,0.16072460192126514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680551292209674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724652740632413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299778904535423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153424284741168
mentalhealth,frothyorpheus,2019/02/14,psychology of addiction question. I have developed a pattern where i only get high at night and only than what is this classified as? what’s its relation to addiction?,4.921999999999997,7.895792533333335,6.7966666666666695,64.14500000000001,73.66666666666666,12.0,36.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,5.945666666666668,136,8,20,6,3,47,26,30,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6699175613894708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16053068145011176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246370863151468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883427192367289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4673701895845466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34420154792625984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DeepSpaceDeity,2019/02/14,"Who here is diagnosed with BPD I’m asking because I suffer from BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I have been trying to hide my outbursts and even when I’m alone I keep it all in. It’s incredibly hard and I feel like I’m at a breaking point. My boyfriend has been a huge support, but I have had very pressuring outbursts at him in the past. I’m scared I’ll break again so I was wondering if anyone knows if counseling really helps. I tried several medications but they all made me worse and each one pushed me to attempt suicide. Since I’ve been off medication I can sway my thoughts of self harm and suicidal better. My doctors told me to wait a month and that my symptoms would be bad before I felt “normal” but attempting 5 times (and failing. Imagine sucking at everything. Even killing yourself) that I realized enough was enough. Idk what helped me think that, but I pulled through. People with my disorder are horrible people too. Like I’m a horrible person, but I want to change so much. BPD is such an emotional roller coaster. I push people away but I don’t want them to leave my life. My biggest fear is that the few people I love don’t love me back and only tolerate me because they probably know I’m such a piece of shit that no one else would put up with me. Idk. It’s so much more than what I’m explaining. I just want to know who shares my mental disorder and if they have advice. If they’ve found ways to feel better. ",3.3518648018647994,5.215192409090911,4.364493006993008,84.99622668997671,74.2097902097902,8.123310023310024,26.951631701631694,8.841846274778883,2.0615575757575755,1143,43,230,24,24,371,160,286,0.248,0.631,0.121,-0.9936,0,1,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,4,5,15,18,3,3,8,0,20,9,1,1,2,48,50,23,3,10,11,0,4,2,0,2,6,0,0,3,12,13,0,2,13,1,0,4,3,10,0,2,11,4,37,8,23,36,10,24,0,2,0,2,18,11,2,5,8,145,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894232207906955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477751230099107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398642623963152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555017428604976,0.0,0.08597733793450353,0.07036609845339824,0.07640763247903136,0.1115681764602037,0.0,0.07786888639181483,0.0,0.0,0.16186759840565776,0.0,0.0,0.34576366173878914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680621253952053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288145899320058,0.0,0.0,0.3146376548826858,0.09366510407773326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644546784706684,0.1029372479574334,0.0,0.18911008135363375,0.0,0.12088394083268683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224393845649618,0.0,0.0,0.1029750064599993,0.09254114370528303,0.06537527980508814,0.08786464623406455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033678596557023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197563453562574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226754192210026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133893652174733,0.10124305812076513,0.0,0.15087570277495502,0.0,0.0,0.09689664404745932,0.0,0.0,0.06463673094627667,0.08941503512555045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518400319923393,0.08658966007597782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843748548584668,0.09222128665584173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304298716292222,0.0,0.13454182360436606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966108035786867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240200703563173,0.06959802954697537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735734110615252,0.2537680561318191,0.15980726964783976,0.0,0.0,0.0865072134500487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866403852611452,0.0,0.0,0.09199355346637246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058624113324748164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161819931198772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546564330978263,0.10338107109415452,0.09393444356511624,0.07569861687985847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001957594316482,0.10384528561230226,0.0,0.09511468149529476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058636377162510064,0.0,0.07264929333651703,0.05336063931475463,0.0,0.0,0.08744241878220592,0.0,0.12425954990892228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550593141877526,0.16192618865904526,0.07263695356513378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923947703934076,0.0,0.0,0.09325724615637204,0.1300131861035608,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RighteousAwakening,2019/02/14,"I don’t even know why I’m still here. I’m a young adult and I have very severe anxiety and I’m very depressed. I have no one else I can talk to right now and I’m not in a very good place mentally so here I am. (If this isn’t the right sub for this I’m sorry)


Most of my depressive thoughts come from the knowledge of how fucked up our world is right now and how few people actually care. The system that we currently reside in has made me feel like I’m a useless person who can’t even manage to get a minimum wage job. My entire existence is based around sacrificing my life for a job I hate just to get pieces of paper that allow me to buy things that all humans should be guaranteed from birth: food, shelter, and medicine. For every 5 days I give the employer, I get 2 for myself. My dreams, my goals and my talents mean absolutely nothing. I have to throw those things away and pretend to be something I’m not just so I can survive. I don’t want my life to be that. I don’t want to be a slave in the one life I get.  Work should never be prioritized above physical or mental health. But if you stop working you die so....
It’s either suffer constantly or die. 

I find myself thinking that I’d rather be dead than to be apart of this system anymore. People sleep on streets while hundreds of buildings stay vacant. Children go hungry while dumpsters full of food are thrown away everyday. And many can’t even afford to go to the doctor because of  the financial state it would put them in. 
For a decent part of my life I’ve felt very sick. Mentally. Physically. And I never want to go to the doctor because I’m constantly worried about money. How did a piece of paper that has no actual value become what life was about. If I could have known what was in store for me before I was born, I would have opted out. 

I wish all my friends and family would turn their backs on me and leave me so I could stop poisoning their lives. I wish no one cared about me. All I am is a hindrance. I can’t even talk to a person on the phone without having an attack. The amount of money it would take to make me better is something I don’t want to put my parents through. They’ve already given me so much and I can’t even return the favor. 

Everyday of my life I have to sit while
My brain reminds me that I am worthless, powerless, and completely and totally helpless.  ",2.788200872433237,4.324301863070541,4.090165975103735,87.75080700074476,74.97510373443984,7.101266092137463,23.977231620385147,7.793537801064563,1.109802255559102,1846,56,388,26,39,607,229,482,0.161,0.758,0.081,-0.9911,8,0,2,0,0,1,44.0,2,2,3,5,26,18,4,0,22,0,47,16,2,6,6,69,85,31,3,18,13,1,2,1,1,6,11,0,0,5,19,18,2,2,9,2,5,7,17,10,0,3,8,2,57,8,55,62,13,54,0,6,0,1,19,21,1,6,22,267,76,12,0.0,0.0,0.14019427364435513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926779515975475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05495086533021098,0.0,0.07123750020286912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394522278385513,0.0,0.08171864830245902,0.13497603025471014,0.055233953864604717,0.0,0.08757557469869022,0.07933219690034353,0.06112327630758296,0.0,0.0,0.06352908331583568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018765821446891,0.0,0.0,0.14647390835477975,0.0,0.0,0.06187643681449871,0.0753139123634065,0.1552485653239482,0.0,0.11470314131168123,0.0,0.0,0.046325345051458924,0.0,0.12373665131940675,0.0,0.14909941605622,0.0,0.0,0.14704507287068638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600059622037933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372199879515197,0.0,0.060521097654404735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771630154145909,0.0,0.036320141192569634,0.051316404746119294,0.06896946005378192,0.0,0.06565264717927792,0.0,0.17371775744274587,0.0,0.05549680280266014,0.0664070213011022,0.15011587891772826,0.06890727556777626,0.1224704111729394,0.060248815190971326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091868903762516,0.0,0.07635347609981719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256326768373334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039476688298891206,0.0,0.0,0.07605913763283158,0.0,0.0,0.3044200795708404,0.035093219842204815,0.0,0.06342848946994638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796865813095809,0.04794805300388296,0.07282581947517568,0.0,0.07824551099367659,0.0,0.0,0.21716763062499675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280438336896633,0.0,0.11080169044400626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689242169558808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602455575000786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976032845273599,0.07778646423633853,0.0,0.09959777089231528,0.12544090908781869,0.07504858038114284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442090153308124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18403100647285575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811490964653901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188332933502813,0.0,0.0,0.11059872457147077,0.0,0.08040943128608607,0.0,0.07656277197156393,0.0573646915682333,0.12010862308184493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400831351111643,0.1154708028219162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544325184239233,0.04602669498759502,0.0,0.057026150442358765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813199450684744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370738878041195,0.16947220949566147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481671413244168,0.0,0.16520525311157028,0.0692429578803024,0.0,0.10458830733969668,0.0729483278296235,0.0,0.20410801453743355,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheGayestOfTheGays,2019/02/14,"Has anyone else felt like this Alright so I have been diagnosed depressed and with multiple anxiety disorders along with other things. I haven't ever posted on this subreddit before so I'm probably not doing everything how others would but I need to see if anyone else has felt the way I do.

I am currently on medication but I don't really want to be because when I'm on medication I don't feel normal, don't get me wrong, I feel better than I would without it but I'm still unnerved by the fact that all the emotions I have had for my entire life are either gone or different. I haven't been on my new one long enough for it to fully kick in but with my last one I remember feeling happier but I didn't like the happiness for some reason. I kinda feel like I want the negative feelings for attention because I am a very attention thirsty person but still, I feel unwhole and a little numb without the constant extreme sadness and anxiety. I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this and I'm probably just crazy but if there's a name for this or whatever please tell me.

BTW I am going to take this up with my counselor but haven't gotten the chance and I'm not really open to her ",3.4394081677222097,4.99562931120332,5.171779864599259,80.57546407512558,73.31535269709545,8.725136492683992,27.621969862415376,9.276330184999452,2.4665883817427385,948,36,183,22,19,323,124,241,0.123,0.768,0.109,-0.2885,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,0,0,10,1,25,5,0,2,4,58,49,22,0,9,19,0,9,3,0,2,5,0,0,1,11,11,0,0,14,0,0,2,13,4,0,2,9,10,26,6,25,37,4,22,0,2,1,0,4,8,0,7,13,134,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555013273548404,0.0,0.0,0.21319712294753967,0.3124118749888745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391177124941755,0.0,0.08648408483642457,0.0,0.0,0.08988809113272941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983156421986368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753826444309122,0.10315760699183714,0.0,0.10618717098662417,0.11648276523303908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547095495900469,0.11432594066369645,0.0,0.10501634912895047,0.0,0.0,0.18386974703932654,0.0,0.0,0.09134318057360784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083389204821886,0.07260822013582241,0.2927572437903014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053100206631121895,0.0,0.05776163664467637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081925795927361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558560578906475,0.08284626784333232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178796027182607,0.14896150134740155,0.10186518909058732,0.0,0.08994396976638881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477357938637755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536122642414693,0.0,0.09815992699377664,0.0,0.0,0.09958093456195208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377413082825662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874395221320333,0.0,0.1115649490175158,0.0,0.0,0.0973384443940796,0.0,0.2191599102948949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022024649810904,0.1044979315536652,0.0,0.0,0.1151328895333747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099011008917996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233203296358445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641703537066682,0.0,0.08883366039439086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752192280944258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385969905383188,0.11989416985506715,0.08067330541722999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959454468216104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144397485797564,0.11112215605530903,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jehovian,2019/02/14,Please help me Me and my friends write this absolute monkey shit and I really think I need mental help. [What do you make of this ](https://imgur.com/a/3fWOmpf),5.573333333333334,9.004341888888893,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,74.55555555555556,8.044444444444443,20.11111111111111,8.841846274778883,1.5564666666666662,129,3,22,3,3,36,22,27,0.105,0.581,0.314,0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,6,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,13,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824036827639599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4900073608605784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439907538062543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683631943249093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710321314647636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4012366486552605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341646536483428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37520612586885105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23421363958875274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MadamDamage15,2019/02/14,"Discord Support Server WELCOME TO IMAGINE 

We are a mental health support server! We have channels for all ages as well as support channels for all ages. 

                  SERVER INFO

                 • Non-toxic 

         •Music channel 

         •Meme channel

                  •Selfies

                  •Poetry

                  •Gaming

                   •Anime

                  • NSFW (18+)

                  • Karaoke 

                   •Movie nights

Come join our welcoming community ♡

https://discord.gg/cDceB9S ",6.259807692307696,9.830848442307692,5.272615384615385,66.52238461538465,93.42307692307692,5.156923076923079,37.892307692307696,6.742157984588678,3.899440000000001,277,17,29,4,10,83,41,52,0.044,0.645,0.312,0.9395,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,3,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,7,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,6,5,6,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21424262581551845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643683129138145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506423329164721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333985579280963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8467033672619897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22362118500995576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Noah-METS,2019/02/14,"Extreme amounts of stress I used to go to a therapist for bipolar but I’ve got pretty good at controlling it but lately I have been have getting burst of extreme stress. My heart will start beating faster and I get on edge ready to snap. I’ve scheduled some meetings with my therapist, any ideas of what it is. Thanks",2.2943778801843284,4.94711848387097,2.5191244239631345,92.77725806451612,81.90322580645163,5.478341013824887,26.599078341013822,6.868970318607317,1.2062368663594472,254,11,50,3,7,77,46,62,0.13,0.664,0.206,0.7684,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,2,1,0,5,2,1,2,0,8,12,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,5,2,10,9,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432883389802287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23804249547278075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217707539328827,0.0,0.12061950903576417,0.17801481448591353,0.1697457828341547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25150255690476003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395903967647672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23941323724816466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21592192198307414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022285312988018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4862348668880328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19539985075960048,0.0,0.4928483825115361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330512735067814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinoyprincessko,2019/02/14,"I dont know if this is the right subreddit to post this to but here goes. (16F) I've been crying on and off whenever I think back to that night when my mom told me she had a miscarriage when I was little. It was a complete shock (for backstory i was just having a conversation with my mom while driving one night and she finally told me) and I've never fully recovered from it even though it's been months. I've written poems to get my feelings out but I cant stop feeling like I've been insensitive for asking for a little brother or feeling guilty because I didnt know until ten years after it happened. 
I just wish I was there to help my mother through the pain and trauma. 
I sometimes even think about if it was me my mother miscarried. 
I cant get these thoughts out of my head and I dont know where/who to go to -- I dont think im ready to sit down and talk to my parents about it yet. ",2.314444444444444,3.6282251005291,3.8710899470899487,89.75076190476194,75.77248677248676,6.9447619047619025,24.24021164021164,7.554174236665415,0.9638364021164016,700,22,156,9,15,233,104,189,0.161,0.789,0.05,-0.9626,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,0,6,0,17,2,1,0,1,29,36,16,0,3,7,6,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,9,0,1,10,0,0,2,7,3,0,2,14,3,24,1,25,22,0,26,0,0,0,0,14,8,0,3,15,108,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118902790429307,0.0,0.0,0.0977990463205487,0.0,0.07753208929692809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335327798306712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970908169135346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4471870805803914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16801178960825933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292889186793727,0.09086250564412067,0.0,0.13932727571394155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290004398121547,0.0,0.07228337267905552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247115228200448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053068105139626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525084714433358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738391759420096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20969614869446504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213720352698397,0.2549498197688625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29792004109434617,0.10151954765076064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809454961970987,0.0,0.0,0.23871299693033146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618528575581008,0.0,0.13533606557516348,0.0,0.14122624782597812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181010547569462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861710757706966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579131620380074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633412937513904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222819120946834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24448911729772935,0.1249607019777162,0.10097236823324303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24306549184407075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625891386539128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819043368215102
mentalhealth,jt669292,2019/02/14,"Mental Health + Disabilities Hi All,

Just wanted to ask about your own interpretations of other people's disabilities compared to your own.

As a guy with a sensory disability and actively attempting to deal with my own mental health, I was wondering if other people interpret other people's disabilities as a positive/negative thing when meeting new people?

I personally find that meeting people with disabilities a welcoming and inviting experience! Even so with the difficulties associated with mental health.",9.872357723577236,12.58081607317073,10.749756097560981,42.334065040650415,59.0,14.247154471544714,40.495934959349604,13.023866798666859,7.223237398373983,426,22,48,18,6,146,52,82,0.031,0.8690000000000001,0.1,0.6518,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,5,1,0,0,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,15,4,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,12,3,4,2,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,2,2,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757352264697754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627420218989364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426202593392823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441290534504112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442770076406006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563016984759754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.503378836708206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47724345093678494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245776261649968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5471854132849376,0.13783327692397665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487213666880853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931072253549302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118748540910295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,obamaisnotreal,2019/02/14,"Idk. I think somethings wrong Its started happening here lately but sometimes I feel like I don't want to live anymore, I see no point, I go to sleep really early I dont want to be awake anymore sometimes hoping I don't wake up. I end up sleeping like 12 hours, but I don't feel sad. Other times I just get random surges of energy,I feel invincible, I just want to yell and punch shit that shouldn't be punched, I get extremely irritable the little things set me off, things like someone talking to me even if its family. Other times I feel nothing at all like im just along for the ride.

I have plenty of friends but none of them feel real, I've known these people for 10 plus years. All my friends hang out after school or weekends but I'm never invited  In fact I don't know they hang out til I see a picture or here a story, I don't get texted by anyone, unless I hit them up. My ""friends"" all talk amongst each other outside school, they have a groupchat that I'm not in. I knew these guys for years but I dont know them at all. My group of friends will go over to each others house and stay the weekend but I don't ever get to go. But they seem to enjoy my company at school but after that I basically dont know these people.

 I hate getting close to people It pisses me off Idk why it  makes me mad. My friends dont know this and I dont show it nor do I talk about it

 I talked to this really pretty girl for like 2 weeks and I liked her, but one night I just get this urge that I don't need her and I blocked her and stopped talking to her totally.(no ones fault but my own) she was the only one that I didnt mind getting close to and telling her about my self. She made me feel. She was the only one that talked to me outside school.

School, everyone tells me I'm the funniest person they've met but thats the only time people pay attention to me is at school. Making people laugh is the only thing that actually makes me happy, seeing people smiling at something I did or laughing at my jokes or something I said is just the best thing in my life. I love making people  smile.


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mentalhealth,danny_2898,2019/02/14,"Hi, I need help with intrusive thoughts. (Possible trigger warning?) Hi, this is my first post here, I just joined here to get some advice quickly, but I'll try to stay active. First I'll tell you about myself. I'm currently 14, I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety issues since I was 3. I also have depression (not diagnosed). I'm specifically making this post about my intrusive thoughts that are worsening my anxiety. I haven't been diagnosed with OCD, but I'm almost 99% sure I have pure O, and I can't deal with the thoughts that come with it. For the past maybe month or so, I've been getting extremely strange and quite terrifying thoughts.      *((((((((This is the potentially triggering part, I'm adding a warning so I don't upset anyone))))))))))*.      I've thought about people being hurt, myself being watched, me hurting friends or family, and most recently, myself hurting animals, animals being hurt in general, and cannibalism. It's really scary because my brain tries to convince me that some day I will actually do one of these things, but I really would never hurt a fly. I'm very close to my friends and family, and I love animals, so it's especially scary thinking of those things. Anyway, I don't know how to deal with it anymore. I can be doing something completely normal, such as eating, or doing schoolwork, and I'll think of something, and it will distract me or I'll get a panic attack. I'm on meds for my migraines (20 mg of amitriptyline) and sometimes it helps the anxiety, but not always. I've tried Prozac and I had to stop taking it because I got facial tics (tardive dyskinesia) and I haven't tried anything since. The doctors want to put me in counseling (I've never told them about the intrusive thoughts, and I'm too uncomfortable to tell my parents), and my first meeting is at the end of March but I don't think I can wait that long. I really want...actually, let me rephrase that...NEED to talk to someone sooner. I really want to talk to my school counselor about this, preferably tomorrow. She knows me and says hi to me in the hallways and things, but she doesn't know about my anxiety. I'm fine with talking about the anxiety, but I really want to talk about the intrusive thoughts, and I don't know how. Its so hard to explain to people. I've never told anyone because I'm embarrassed. I don't want them to be afraid of me, because honestly, I kind of scare myself with it. It's in school, and generally talking about thinking of murder and cannibalism (remember, I'm NOT wanting to think of these willingly, nor would I EVER consider doing these) in schools is not appropriate. That's what I'm worried about. How will she react to this? Does anyone have advice? Have you ever talked to someone about these thoughts, and what did you say? Should I talk to her? Please don't PM, just comment, I don't feel like talking right now. Trying not to come off as rude. 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mentalhealth,LookwhosLaughing,2019/02/14,"Why do I lack empathy when it comes to everything? It seems that as a child, bullying and abuse has caused me to feel insecure and angry towards the world. But now it seems like I lack so much empathy. I objectively care about those close to me, but actually feel it? It's hard to. I can't do it genuinely because I just struggle to, I end up having to pretend. I don't hate myself, as of matter of fact, I tend to be called self-centered and egotistic. But i just don't see that in me.

Socially I do super well, I don't talk a lot but people nevertheless find me socially competent to the point of me looking like your average joe. I honestly missed when I used to be in high school and skip classes to hookup or get myself into arguments with teachers or people. Hell getting in trouble felt so fucking good because every moment it felt like a game and I made sure to show that it was. Now I just feel confined, to pretend I'm like everyone else. I have to act like I'm this empathetic, caring individual when really I genuinely feel neutral about everything, and whenever I think about death or something threatening, I can't help but to be pessimistic and depressed.

I'm not even sure how it's like to be happy. To be excited is usually how I'd feel when I did fucked up shit or I felt that I had the advantage, but I never truly felt ""happy"" or ""love"". I usually defined love as wanting someone in your possession for the rest of your life. Truly...I just cant help but to fantasize about certain things that i feel would get my blood boiling again, wishing for a sense of excitement, but it would be unethical and wrong. I'm not sure why people view me as average, when I feel I'm meant for greater, or I'm more than everyone. On the outside, I act mild-mannered and incredibly kind, when really I just view everything objectively to the point of viewing life as this long road that I must endure. My ambitions revolve around me and my personal enjoyment or personal success.

Is there something wrong with me? I'm in college right now so I really don't know why I get these thoughts or act the way I do. I genuinely fantasize about doing horrible things, but try to supress it for the sake of my well being, physically and mentally.",4.828969696969698,5.808191836363638,6.19409090909091,76.77696969696974,69.27272727272728,10.230303030303027,32.62121212121212,10.355215969177356,3.49749393939394,1768,79,339,48,30,599,198,440,0.179,0.614,0.206,0.9451,0,0,2,0,1,1,51.0,0,3,0,4,30,39,5,2,12,0,30,9,2,5,7,80,74,44,1,7,24,0,12,6,0,3,2,0,0,3,23,17,1,1,18,4,0,4,10,12,2,0,10,17,50,27,54,54,7,39,1,2,5,4,15,18,4,11,22,231,73,4,0.0,0.09360043373581928,0.07709124671326605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703255107019619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631363763515068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066641237932852,0.0,0.16108869374622006,0.08115333262780365,0.0,0.06805030665239878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804138618768646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659932009527667,0.0,0.06996931955875342,0.0,0.0,0.052177836201443006,0.0,0.0665597352780499,0.15097311265160926,0.21299656777160195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27960849252773273,0.0,0.3034042131663591,0.0,0.07220329746015293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146065882137334,0.1650940506540629,0.0,0.0,0.06626028517900391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681909765413988,0.07076723677017413,0.07799477127076071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059022048084326,0.08346636775001201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226489465668335,0.04341556952308604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159810762885453,0.2315683799480686,0.0,0.0,0.06991128303791105,0.06633893526534954,0.0,0.0,0.06716179236841235,0.14259865789712434,0.07475039395739691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961201721699164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807306732321407,0.0,0.06092859738290567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430306591755678,0.13795707654875078,0.0,0.0,0.14935844025427056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182559543193316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746438045859908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995080985864214,0.06295166340136475,0.14383473333582306,0.08241277816012953,0.0,0.0810909369144098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161058266724788,0.06693526505908226,0.12163397748671337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258649858046223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233657622623387,0.0,0.0,0.06349608951293757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049663311293815,0.050619118833428935,0.0,0.06271607132844853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053634869916977634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682294338710258,0.1740116139834206,0.0,0.04659542638102037,0.06270541875432557,0.0,0.0,0.14205847371385255,0.0,0.21385187156801508,0.0,0.09084450166816377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223669052829208,0.17274515509918525,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zeebopbiddlywop,2019/02/14,"Seeing my therapist Monday - 1st time since April I used to see my therapist every other week for about a year and a half solid. I had gotten a new job and was unable to go at the frequency I needed to, so I had to end our relationship. I was able to get an appointment a few months later during some PTO time. I'm taking much needed PTO time over the next couple days and have an appointment with him Monday. When I called about a month ago to set it up, I found out he got promoted and isn't actively treating anymore. The receptionist told me he is taking certain patients on a case by case basis. She said she would tell him that I wanted to see him. He called me and said he would take me (is that a good or bad thing that he was willing to take me? Haha). I'm not in crisis mode or anything but I definitely need to check in for my own sanity. I'm very excited that I get to have a session with him, which appears will probably be my last ever with him. He helped me tremendously and I owe him a lot of gratitude. I made some great strides since I met him and I can't wait to tell him about it.",3.2868913043478263,4.024221982608701,4.945815217391306,85.2069836956522,72.65217391304347,8.358695652173912,24.375,8.660442795831766,1.428804347826086,856,23,187,15,16,291,129,230,0.017,0.865,0.118,0.9694,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,14,1,16,0,0,2,2,31,45,12,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,9,11,0,1,1,0,2,2,3,1,0,1,13,5,34,6,28,27,6,29,0,0,3,0,27,7,0,6,19,122,43,3,0.1175202219568836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417458600033663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654848155557528,0.0,0.0,0.09670912929865592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812447651104728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24000257233298816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003389032494586,0.0,0.07579082095679948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408803480389432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630376891968306,0.09901585560428568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288548575350046,0.0,0.0,0.1227989310083706,0.0,0.06678945039267471,0.09857038646826878,0.09399165717550696,0.12956645959029356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877132755773843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662068662447915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579466610994067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999114901448354,0.0,0.11120047553569436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18760703991533367,0.0,0.08639088518835522,0.2614192664631113,0.0,0.11350176268081312,0.12498408928899556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670667597896915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617273766638692,0.0,0.0,0.22357728588206946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28094520451562194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944278840463977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35344232535798964,0.0,0.20543570780755266,0.0,0.0,0.2729000711245157,0.07807521351310116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20558095948694752,0.0,0.0,0.11229560829827323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149973920289282,0.0,0.0969664908277274,0.06931647175412882,0.0,0.09426763334330017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696598771655854,0.0,0.0,0.07567916988840558
mentalhealth,helpjan,2019/02/14,"21 y/o m, I’m never satisfied, I can’t enjoy anything to 100% and I always think I don’t deserve this rn. My life is is constant up and down roller coaster. Where should I start. If I would sit in front of you, you would probably think I’m a decent guy.

 I get complimented a lot and my etiquette is also always good. I know how to behave in “society”.

I have a lot of friends, girls want me too, I was work and traveling for 1,5 years now but now I’m back home. 

At daytime I feel good and energetic but as soon as the sun goes down my mind gets weird. I start asking myself about everything. All this why questions. I don’t know if this is depression but I’m  sometimes in my bed and I’m thinking and sometimes I start crying or get goosebumps. 

I don’t have anxiety, I was traveling a lot and did a lot of things. I’m not afraid of anything. The things I regret are sometimes those things where I should have thought before I did something.

For whoever reading this, I’m native german so sorry for my bad english.  :)",1.1233492822966509,3.3100195885167487,3.020263157894739,90.32934210526315,82.77990430622009,5.905263157894738,23.375598086124395,7.1686216300943375,0.9186153110047846,790,29,167,11,22,264,114,209,0.133,0.775,0.091,-0.8622,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,1,11,10,0,1,7,0,20,2,1,1,2,37,42,19,0,8,7,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,2,8,8,0,0,8,4,0,3,6,5,0,0,5,1,27,5,19,33,5,23,0,2,0,0,7,9,0,8,10,112,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733041900432676,0.2025428089965052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310683727874428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031181177124865,0.0,0.11378122325408302,0.0,0.0,0.09358649265721536,0.10162169699787786,0.0,0.0,0.10356515601556956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315238879543942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336913133590237,0.0,0.0,0.10482754175555116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938394925443873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06153958551219441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403185476675363,0.0,0.1907633477747675,0.0,0.0,0.20416699895493226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051076731311977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220837691712942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337758585478661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596646793052361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4138896038629805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228911114294483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386926757555646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312225847390222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363416201782294,0.0,0.12174165559839588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369731841375764,0.3611191069797256,0.13624294702987969,0.2584381742599477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425735954814412,0.23395809920025246,0.0,0.09662312827948878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717869561196282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109823188759764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860539733286713,0.0,0.0,0.17291676466445405,0.0,0.0,0.07837642497470677
mentalhealth,jelliebean97,2019/02/14,"Need advice - maintaining mental health with work and college Hi everyone, I need some advice. A little background first- I’m planning to graduate December 2019 with a bachelors in art history. I have job hopped around all during my college career, trying to find things I could handle that also worked with my schedule. I have a difficult history with my mental health (depression, self harm, eating disorder, and anxiety) so part of this is trying to find a balance. 

I am taking 4 art history courses and 1 studio art course - this includes my senior seminar and writing intensive classes. I also work as an assistant manager at a studio locally, about 3 days a week, sometimes 4. I can manage class and work, but doing research and studying outside of class is impossible for me. I’m supposed to do original research for three of my classes but I don’t even have time to do regular studying. 

Recently my mental health has been starting to take a turn for the worse, and I’ve been turning to some old coping mechanisms that aren’t healthy. I don’t want to get worse, so I think I need to cut down on my responsibilities, but that triggers my anxiety and low self esteem. 

Any tips on how to balance this out and maintain my mental health? Or am I just taking on too much? My parents said they’d help me out if I quit my job because school comes first, but I can’t help feeling like a slacker and weak somehow if I quit. 

I also posted this in r/college, but I feel like this thread might understand a little better - the feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, failure. The dark cloud of depression that makes me feel like I’m a failure for quitting even tho I’m quitting in order to help my mental health. It feels like I lose either way. Can anyone relate or give advice? ",5.0771257485029935,6.736287335329338,5.942555688622754,76.25304311377249,69.35928143712574,8.697293413173654,32.2222754491018,9.174902378510234,3.097265053892216,1406,63,238,28,25,462,175,334,0.13,0.764,0.106,-0.8651,4,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,1,13,14,14,1,0,14,0,22,7,0,4,1,53,48,27,0,7,11,1,5,4,0,1,6,1,2,2,11,18,1,0,9,3,0,1,4,9,0,3,3,6,34,5,37,42,6,30,1,5,0,0,11,15,0,8,15,157,45,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118405044088805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17336346835171668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04914057631103847,0.0,0.1658404885443313,0.0,0.0,0.0505272071768021,0.0,0.0,0.06432841971838409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0440501892169372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390978650084686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062247236381294126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576952545951401,0.0,0.0,0.04660295343941808,0.0,0.12447815323949148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281840857071217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394197345030411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545661918868603,0.0,0.0,0.06904935108116225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268896292409886,0.20649568985661906,0.0,0.0,0.13209215198599267,0.1229318863226228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03775386512474499,0.06932020800611598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840551524942651,0.0,0.0,0.14530690382520908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434175896295259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121407523495852,0.14485083406732593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084259266001434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048235385600875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364115042112235,0.0766584663445725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312081791959845,0.16074387042319307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582671808057533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023829869084782,0.07825260593302111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920693410169748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30743774186790235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134991772194049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873762358381465,0.0,0.0,0.07313291012144718,0.0,0.0,0.15076986233659848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146887605987096,0.0,0.051147351353968966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299588813235105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800760163552829,0.04630251369082111,0.0,0.0,0.04213650044535985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812218607788983,0.1572004136434083,0.0,0.0752271960659155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042621946364503616,0.057358140111348765,0.05796414489356218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21043012251048224,0.0,0.14728211823033596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Makynzi3556,2019/02/14,"I'm so confused. I was diagnosed with BPD, ADHD, unspecified anxiety disorder, and Psychotic Depression a few weeks ago. I honestly feel so lost, I don't know what to do. I was sexually assaulted when I was 13 (which my parents don't know about) and my father (who I still live with because my mother is too scared to divorce him) abused me until I was about 10 or 11. I constantly think about suicide or cutting myself (18 days clean) and it gets me so depressed but I can't stop it. I tried to commit suicide a week ago but thankfully my boyfriend stopped me. He's the only thing that keeps me going, if it weren't for him I would have done it a long time ago. But recently I feel so mentally dead. I can't think straight, I'm always dizzy or lightheaded, and when I'm not doing anything I'm just staring into space. I haven't eaten more than 1,000 calories in over a month and I don't know what to do. I know this was more of a rant then a question, but what should I do about this? I miss being happy and feeling emotion, but now I don't even understand emotion anymore. I'm also extremely socially awkward and I literally have no friends.",4.119009740259742,5.032917077922079,5.4674648268398265,81.57834009740259,70.86147186147187,8.891883116883117,31.320616883116887,9.188382445141503,2.674274675324676,899,39,181,18,16,302,132,231,0.219,0.6890000000000001,0.092,-0.976,1,0,0,0,2,4,29.0,0,0,0,1,16,13,2,3,7,0,24,2,0,0,1,39,46,25,3,3,11,3,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,13,10,1,3,11,0,0,1,10,9,0,0,9,4,31,4,17,34,3,25,0,4,1,0,11,5,0,6,19,126,44,0,0.0,0.14612170563050872,0.0,0.0,0.1482144562229701,0.0,0.3279644352979083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862413699462128,0.1026175061511794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434441533131163,0.0,0.12230672375979625,0.0,0.0,0.10148718030737232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517867409914193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532537721727152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332721062579907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953537342201451,0.0,0.2124418233204004,0.1251737754805622,0.0,0.0,0.14134282412919127,0.0,0.0,0.1262058013147327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774513687463497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145597319968892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707271295761296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528172817135803,0.0,0.06443299274421391,0.0,0.07008927744245429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128332521008992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961823692655646,0.0,0.0,0.2711080201845492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889953631176733,0.1091400489569259,0.0,0.0,0.13462541514278226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428407946554712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843801523650199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379534105983824,0.0,0.0,0.13693945508024025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815387588055653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177001522063638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347131531871912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257158097479698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848868173674696,0.20621290952948185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269798292521355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354244816270186,0.0,0.0,0.08193262961629016,0.15804525013912427,0.0,0.0,0.07191265896860341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373058073276922,0.0,0.0,0.12838720915771218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978501175978168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760758898086984,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WarmSilverFlame,2019/02/14,"I wouldn't call myself anxious or depressed, but I feel so emotionally unstable. (21M) I've had my struggles with anxiety and depression, but these days I generally do feel alright from day to day. Heck, on a good day, people even often tell me I'm really funny and smart and pleasant to talk to- which is not for me to decide, obviously, but it's nice to hear. That said, it disturbs me exactly how dark my mood can get so fast, and over things that objectively aren't a big deal. For instance, today I had a test for a university class in my major, and I blanked on an easy question I had seen many times before. I think most people would normally just be a little bit annoyed, but my mind immediately turned to pretty detailed thoughts of suicide and self-harm. Completely unproportional to the situation, I know, but when I let myself down, the feelings of self-hatred are just so raw and cold to an almost pathological level. Add in that I am a horrific procrastinator and I've never been able to summon the courage to start dating (which I really want to deep down), there's lots of things that can just momentarily set me off. And I hate it.

Anyways, it felt remarkably good to get this in writing, so I'm happy . If anyone has any comments, go ahead. If not, no big deal.",5.406895161290324,6.117961221774197,6.632419354838714,75.11862903225808,67.83064516129032,9.587096774193547,30.41935483870968,9.673873057562805,2.7585354838709684,1005,37,192,21,16,340,154,248,0.142,0.6829999999999999,0.175,0.8269,0,0,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,0,0,1,13,15,2,2,11,1,16,1,0,1,3,48,35,23,1,6,13,0,4,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,14,11,0,0,9,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,8,8,22,8,30,23,4,28,0,2,1,0,10,14,1,8,12,129,36,3,0.12440645792288052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457509713415008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460065746677857,0.0,0.09517059979555413,0.1405438865624649,0.0,0.08698788797390186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586073272378288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135819631061676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703290301511422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043780420022866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32092749388311936,0.25651519089850755,0.2143021998288169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994052051178504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216929215281409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887109293648748,0.0,0.119449709143802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999447915502116,0.0,0.07070305698552089,0.20869246896258906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243298778759147,0.0,0.122825621250308,0.0,0.0,0.14021511966504396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837053576446718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721403202154774,0.0,0.0,0.1246879535879018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576592170899747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261286219681193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561505820746965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959499297649814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189191477236355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249554737967998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656609263652327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936370462904754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939592510962802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833903027686675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25956613530775197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983807113157445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805553123433969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005664135892808,0.0,0.13608047298244222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999319844554057,0.10873672766119412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530024540459273,0.07971463492437825,0.0,0.09876483125456814,0.07254240606506468,0.0,0.11792277564557878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353185020064007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337815214309555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837477831276147,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TwoOneZeroOne,2019/02/14,"No one cares about mens mental health I'm recently out of a bad relationship because it was affecting me badly and I thought it would be up hill from there but all I've seen is people giving support to her without asking my my side of the story, even people I thought I could trust, for no other reason than she is an upset girl. 

I don't really know where to go from here, I'm starting to be paranoid about my closest friends talking about me behind my back and I just feel alone.",5.096054421768706,5.307149081632655,5.8310204081632655,82.34850340136056,68.38775510204081,8.165986394557821,29.59863945578231,7.793537801064563,1.8303210884353736,382,13,76,4,6,125,73,98,0.155,0.6890000000000001,0.156,0.4854,0,3,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,1,3,0,8,1,0,2,1,15,21,3,0,2,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,4,2,13,4,16,13,1,9,0,0,1,0,9,5,0,0,3,56,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20830476731692976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18802465601739612,0.0,0.0,0.154652653456299,0.3358618245694486,0.12260388816553623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050602664142951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058188779232055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284111682283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016948057549405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553886189790296,0.0,0.0,0.192937355799728,0.1143039304181608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137863913996544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053299950346487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026866204032252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628745506718576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788693995107918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288457777462185,0.20678992132146845,0.19858660061413544,0.2159329017097185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423572578651777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282341826796876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165659710794486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3193414508737703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938772515833572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287337693264035,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yashunnyqueen,2019/02/14,"TW ptsd, abuse, anniversaries 

I have been feeling terrible lately and I realized it’s because it’s been the 2 year mark of when I got out of an abusive “relationship” which only lasted 3 months but felt like a lifetime. 

I’m super set off, I noticed when I kept apologizing to friends and just trying to act annoying so the people in my life would dump me. I keep carrying the blame for what happened to me, I keep hearing the abusers voice telling me “no one will love you ever again after what I’ve done to you” and what’s my luck, after getting out of the abuse I met someone who’s really great but sadly after going out a few times I also pushed them away. For some reason they talked to me still and didn’t judge me, I always wondered why.  I went and got intense counselling/therapy and did my own healing for over a year, at that point we still spoke, I still couldn’t get why. We started going out again for a few months but recently agreed on putting things on hold which was fine. But then the anniversary dates came up and I was triggered a lot, so I took the whole break thing out of proportion and I apologized to them cause in my ptsd mindset, silence equals punishment. I know it’s irrational and I know I’m cared about but I guess it’s hard to accept. I’m very shocked that even after that they still talk to me as normal. 

I’m waiting for my therapist to return my voicemail to make an appointment cause I can’t deal with this alone anymore, I’ve been crying a lot and not knowing how to cope healthily. I feel bad for hiding my symptoms but in the start I was handling it fairly well, regulating my feelings and was stable. I’m worried that things are irreparable because of my apologizing and taking constant blame :( has anyone experienced similar? What kind of therapy and work is necessary to push past this? I know I’m pushing this person away but I don’t actually want to, and I realize I’m doing it too. I feel so bad and embarrassed about it",3.7003225806451603,5.366790564102569,4.656451612903228,84.08564516129033,72.84615384615384,7.801488833746897,27.96526054590571,8.460557738077197,1.9977915632754344,1560,60,306,27,31,507,210,390,0.192,0.685,0.123,-0.9836,0,1,0,0,3,0,30.0,2,2,4,2,23,20,3,1,16,0,20,4,0,6,1,67,62,31,0,4,9,0,6,1,1,2,3,3,0,1,24,24,0,5,14,0,0,10,6,9,1,1,19,10,48,11,49,40,8,57,0,1,0,1,23,17,0,6,29,209,72,1,0.0,0.3995332264225732,0.08226595032460557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731076757523229,0.0,0.06741575368043032,0.07014547076204324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360427998371782,0.05894545925236098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584077738883244,0.0,0.14077620056462942,0.10277863268634753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641827845901342,0.08595083775770407,0.17320140263048145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109980337217896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926010669924734,0.0,0.08691098315466635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626954287001133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568024210269593,0.07625539124546818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050116832647966,0.0,0.08094250966473403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513100861907989,0.0,0.08808794479943137,0.0,0.09582079210401682,0.0,0.13484697042385102,0.09294252846117652,0.09286743372558276,0.0,0.07454739936087597,0.0,0.07551744501419415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095013740594098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986181445474786,0.0,0.08778687627736907,0.18531925415527326,0.06871684623864692,0.09509558701032353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954453177195465,0.04118537805036127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333997464696616,0.07608525356032121,0.0,0.05627180118048727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345770556823507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259741744232542,0.0,0.09597763795115953,0.0,0.0,0.057124771871814285,0.06411497024918825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047517095708588,0.05844393682907434,0.07360868120669753,0.0,0.0,0.07969201790327249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970875178145512,0.08474613407887642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054005599097663184,0.08667582115357522,0.08323740619625787,0.09050809367381403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142825450463491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933784919289035,0.0,0.2692926462266308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762137396743096,0.06338411863657634,0.13551645273312582,0.07368308966773608,0.0,0.19281186571281267,0.09788035695253164,0.16801819954793593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049156791139237634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366189411696928,0.05723507833085127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955743687088924,0.04972311637755896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579703169933315,0.07814818970295914,0.15213769996199286,0.09411943908122644,0.0,0.0,0.09142121061958784,0.06137238185611516,0.08561210607957641,0.0,0.05988525546837292,0.0,0.0,0.10857460215418722
mentalhealth,bgbvhgbv,2019/02/14,"For over a year now I’ve been obsessively preventing myself from sexualizing my childhood friend. I think I might have an addiction to pornography and it’s been screwing up my relationship with my best friend.

I’ve already had a best friend, but I’ve got so obsessed with my connection to this girl that I consider her to be on top for me as well. I’ve never realized how much I loved her until I started feeling ashamed for how I felt about her.

I was looking through YouTube and found a subreddit called r/niceguys because of a SorrowTV video. That mindset of guys saying girls only dating bad guys made me so scared. I was scared because I always compared myself to those guys. They only feel lustful desires towards girls they supposedly love. I felt so bitter towards all of it and made it a part of my every day life to stop desiring sex from this girl when I already loved her for who she is.

Why do I obsess? It’s because I love this girl and I’m scared of losing her.

I slowly started overthinking about everything she said to me at the time. talking to her became extremely hard for me for awhile because I felt like I couldn’t trust myself to be an actual friend to her anymore. 

Before my obsession:
I felt ashamed of myself after a school dance. I believed I might have been coming on too strong to her. She called out my name across the crowd when me and my friends got there. She ran over to me and enthusiastically gave me a hug. I felt like she was flirting with me. Midway through the dance I saw her dancing with other dudes, but as soon as I asked her to dance she declined. She told me she had a boyfriend and ran out of the room.

My brother (dude best friend) had his own problems that night. He was about to get in a fight with someone. That’s irrelevant but anyways, I asked him for advice and he told me that she was leading me on and teasing me the whole time. I absolutely refused to believe it at the time, because I still loved her. I felt like I had a more loyal friendship with her. 

This event caused me a lot of pain and because of that I couldn’t help but try to cope. I coped by starting a revenge plot against her where I’d set her up and be a piece of shit. I told my brother about it and he ended up telling the girl to talk to me about something. I was upset with him for saying something, but I’m so thankful he stopped me. I apologized to her about it over our school messages because it was too hard to talk to her about it anyways since I was shy.

I found out one night that she had sex with a guy in our school. This devastated me so much that my brain couldn’t function properly for two whole weeks. I ended up having “I don’t care what happens to me” thoughts racing through my head. I felt extremely uneasy an anxious and it was nearly impossible to explain it. 

I had this complex in my mind saying that my experiences were nothing like anyone’s at all prior to the event.

I was scared for this girl that she messed up her reputation or something. Every time I heard someone talk about her I had this intense urge to bring violence.

I started hanging out with this scummy guy that used to harass her on Facebook a lot. He put obstacles in front of me without realizing it. 

I’ve done a lot of screwed up things last year (Blackmailing, breaking up friendships etc) because of an identity crisis I went through while trying to achieve some goal. I didn’t know what that goal was at the time, but I’m thinking I was probably trying to get the girl to like me. It was extremely insatiable and I was addicted to hugging her. Every time I hugged her oxytocin in my head got released and it made me want to hug her more. Eventually being around her made me feel amazing and I loved every second I spent with her.

I got depressed whenever we’d be apart.  I started connecting my love to her to when we were kids and I had no sexual feelings for her. All I felt was love (the type of love you’d have for a crush when you’re a kid.)

I put myself down for wanting to date her. I had this very vivid dream of us just laying in bed. For some odd reason none of that ever weirded me out until I tried to prevent it. I always confused my love for her with my lust and eventually me wanting to just be friends turned into my brain wanting to be friends with her just to date her. I’ve almost completely got out of that mindset and after all of that I’ve still been obsessed.

Most of the obsession is me trying to figure out how to have a good relationship with this girl. It’s caused me to eventually become depressed and end up in the hospital. I was there for the last two weeks of school.

There’s so much more information to this. Please ask me anything.",4.183728473019517,5.336867626068376,4.8352812858783025,85.27837543053964,70.92307692307692,7.596606710039548,29.24792703150912,7.913819287138632,1.7867918612067863,3702,143,752,47,67,1188,339,936,0.145,0.677,0.17800000000000002,0.992,0,0,3,0,1,0,72.0,5,1,2,10,39,68,7,14,37,0,56,29,5,12,6,124,130,46,0,10,11,2,14,5,8,2,4,5,2,16,49,44,0,5,25,6,1,14,9,29,1,4,64,23,160,39,154,52,26,107,0,3,3,20,125,44,3,11,52,544,209,9,0.0,0.0,0.04140398116192669,0.09250639964742664,0.0,0.04146052454132308,0.0,0.0,0.042485896521757424,0.0,0.0936415507488625,0.0,0.07060762657129235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047931995708808586,0.04207755480662035,0.029666911703272462,0.0,0.03491494384184079,0.037770255955736715,0.118994431283232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035425927332186795,0.2069115863757948,0.04685881527983991,0.036103428692307434,0.09560451620157938,0.13357791010818262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472821403685254,0.08664824505890859,0.0,0.043258563881287786,0.0871712729681655,0.0,0.036548294843108335,0.04448535204277992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02736279683856529,0.0,0.07308700772279926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043418966337153315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273686102257305,0.0,0.04731886216354048,0.0,0.03837890123635245,0.1429909694336789,0.0,0.038131894586214944,0.04150309966347935,0.0,0.0,0.08581226052359353,0.0,0.32590320852152976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304106338687942,0.2622405058988393,0.0,0.044334157603204985,0.0,0.0,0.035586914420249874,0.16966926781802735,0.0,0.0,0.2100538473427484,0.03751927871287415,0.0,0.0760149942576992,0.0,0.08708752250833315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028438850581854087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023317529542025702,0.06916958950685026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0299684214678593,0.1036418232704688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035629155619248135,0.04746650749795234,0.0,0.1082132811925763,0.3829327191482924,0.1605870464007464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001961831750913,0.04284057156969361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356922950314248,0.0,0.03272338437653432,0.0,0.0,0.07963232600087446,0.0,0.04071117751472785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028750570182771405,0.06453739390161499,0.04514679063202602,0.0,0.0,0.0459458038644922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04657362321672357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045744972664680084,0.04059823217988366,0.0,0.08530448685276858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04362344386804922,0.0,0.091104409313598,0.0,0.0,0.04035910796372008,0.10122225865635524,0.16991285115517715,0.17175915380278114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04355212514457163,0.03509719662454998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718988619780073,0.09799032563142088,0.0,0.0,0.15015513831636307,0.0,0.06776672248614342,0.07094405553369612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640930747056007,0.03708427659946476,0.03906235437085912,0.0,0.0,0.02818753219079538,0.05437278892136439,0.0,0.03368339657926804,0.14844198696633862,0.0,0.0,0.1216264137373653,0.0,0.1440304339560504,0.04614989677697904,0.0828927296545915,0.0,0.05103612033701309,0.03664450005838014,0.0,0.035007859199467785,0.10010143762688543,0.0,0.06806697874655165,0.0,0.03814821150459004,0.03933153584846171,0.038285016087397934,0.09473954819250772,0.0,0.04089944687676706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054644974798414056
mentalhealth,duckfosol,2019/02/14,"Ignorant but Wanting to Learn My girlfriend cuts herself alot. She has gotten better but is still self harming. Today she got annoyed at me for not having money to treat her on valentines day and locked herself in the bathroom and started to cut and cry.

Why do people cut themselves? I have read online about self punishment or feeling deserving of the pain. But is it wrong to suggest it could be attention seeking?

After all, it is the most basic form of the physical manifestation of mental health problems. Neat organised cuts on arm = Attention. 

Educate me if you think I’m ignorant or feel free to agree. Thanks. ",4.935663716814162,7.441790221238942,5.420539823008848,76.32656194690266,71.56637168141594,8.059823008849557,32.53893805309736,8.841846274778883,3.1953334513274334,497,24,79,10,10,159,85,113,0.279,0.5660000000000001,0.155,-0.9621,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,2,17,6,0,5,0,9,3,1,0,1,24,18,9,0,4,7,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,2,6,1,2,0,1,12,0,0,2,2,10,6,15,14,4,9,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,5,5,56,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588498897227494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683730346950638,0.0,0.2432902578956205,0.1428391412391104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22397837606463766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17714134013989474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354276032829108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232042224326613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356750606170357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354942362312685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21193069753116134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22154437743934685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621131510236646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567678270338225,0.0,0.17687776036964092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039131155353008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191828638943926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099413521969081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063726153234848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19985525794431847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421584665907309,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PandaStyle07,2019/02/14,"How to get myself to actually do something I've had depression for like around 8 years and I always had this problem of not being able to get myself to actually sit and study, or read, or watch a serie or anything, but I was going through school so I didn't give it much thought because I didn't have any choice to make and I was ocuppied I guess, but now that I'm done with school I can't get myself to do anything, for almost 2 years I didn't feel like doing anything, not even hobbies, and I don't really have fun doing anything.

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I'm so limited because I live on a little town and there're no jobs I can take here or study something else easily, so I tried to get my car license but I just can't get myself to study or whatever you want to call it, so I'm stuck here which is... let's say not great.

​

I recently tried to start doing exercise again at home at least, but 90% of the time I still don't feel like watching anything, or talking with anyone or playing something or I don't know, so how do I get myself to do something?",4.175279220779223,4.472716722727274,5.2885714285714265,85.13500000000002,70.4090909090909,7.922077922077923,28.89610389610389,7.7094869923839395,1.6377012987012989,829,29,176,9,14,275,112,220,0.104,0.8240000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.8257,1,0,4,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,1,15,8,0,0,3,0,26,1,0,3,0,36,47,24,0,2,16,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,5,8,0,1,4,3,0,2,12,2,0,0,10,5,24,6,22,35,2,17,0,1,2,0,5,6,0,10,11,117,29,4,0.10172235949702584,0.0,0.1985326984846616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018602492718854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464115190984485,0.2204322680317492,0.2472076017119417,0.06917469266631729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112663892298507,0.0,0.4185441727965531,0.09055446634494398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401801239316232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038699022880682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761331917955485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040972910143287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497597863168767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718665908136456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286776275323427,0.14534094789952748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31887440640982245,0.09758135627137754,0.05781116109485431,0.0,0.0,0.1121492604569466,0.11205864726618786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203582050974958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094374578323716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055903948510041775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401800448642186,0.0,0.14908921996620195,0.10195252763871426,0.0898227070758923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790046485133136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477763855500799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733456013392773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174988701215887,0.0,0.06516594824367444,0.0,0.10043855812642496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089370310858716,0.0,0.20589691701715435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132433681826069,0.0,0.0,0.07199960961410591,0.0,0.08123560769445333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764825548379257,0.08176057938921512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075619094282188,0.059315125852261535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812560973487262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059998483166802126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472076017119417,0.131011728835047
mentalhealth,3th-world-jieff,2019/02/14,"I think there is something wrong with me Today the girl i ""fell in love with""  got a proposal from another guy, she accepted him but i didn't feel anything at all.
I've been knowing her for a long time and i even declared my love to her,even thought she said no (something that didn't make me sad either ), we got closer to the point we flirted between each other. She meant something for me. So i still can't understand why i am not sad or angry.
This isn't the only time i had this lack of feelings many people that i loved(family, friends,) died and  i didn't feel a thing.
I don't remember the last time i was genuinaly happy or angry or sad or even felt what i had to.
 Of course i have moments that i could say I'm glad or upset, but that's it, it's almost like i shutdown my feelings.

Do i need to get help or it's just a fase of something.
",1.7353333333333332,3.1623796444444467,3.381111111111114,92.195,77.55555555555556,6.133333333333334,24.222222222222214,6.742157984588678,0.6547888888888886,656,22,149,6,15,218,104,180,0.093,0.685,0.222,0.9789,0,0,4,0,0,0,21.0,2,0,0,0,6,13,0,1,8,0,15,2,0,1,1,36,34,11,1,3,11,0,5,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,12,7,0,0,12,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,13,7,28,8,15,20,4,13,0,3,0,2,15,4,0,7,9,100,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020329842412604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468163659796399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521918310967814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178938920544657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14531191091377865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774327948529146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319922698193905,0.0,0.28318013636541634,0.0,0.13443492000434945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817408515964837,0.0,0.07315127651409238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22396317777699906,0.0,0.0,0.13863538093894015,0.0,0.14904697756717508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384809975529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694775962229773,0.11412969236199225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684035252487547,0.0,0.0,0.12390754425614675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527353060402797,0.0,0.09346010052731814,0.14195171613293767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381823842777436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064865783410002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706773369023727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323580167724816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860800498629632,0.0,0.1331849041968835,0.11134435737824472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43115694044159625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181496442100604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301875001182797,0.08971499927499624,0.0,0.11115508178397164,0.2449289988108613,0.0,0.13271642956886015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575899454572194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263404088207266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308278592798946,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,htmh95,2019/02/14,"Just need to get this off my chest The title pretty much sums up what I’m feeling. I’m a fifth year undergraduate student, and I don’t feel connected to this school at all. I transferred here in my third year of undergrad after doing two years at a community college. I spent my junior year at my new, four year university, but then I studied abroad for a whole year after that. So, while I was studying abroad, the majority of the people in my graduating class left already and now I just feel out of place, which I was feeling before. 

Also, I have low self-esteem. This stems from childhood teasing and upbringing. I’ll be graduating this May, and I do have goals for myself. I want to move out of state to a relatively affordable city. I just want to leave the state I live in because I don’t like it here. But when I think of all the things that I have to do to make it happen, I get overwhelmed a little bit, but I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it afterwards. 

I also feel like a loser because I’m in my early 20s still living at home, never dated, and never been in a relationship. I don’t feel entirely independent at all. I just want to be 100% independent without having to rely on my dad. 

On most days, I just feel negative, bitter, and pessimistic. I also feel really angry at times, but I don’t know where all the anger is coming from. Can these signs possible indicate mild depression? Even though I’m graduating, I don’t feel excited about it, I just want to graduate, be done with school and leave this state and finally be 100% independent. 

I just had to vent. ",4.426363636363637,5.495800738853507,5.797382744643892,78.91951939779966,70.27388535031847,9.021192819918936,27.33005211349161,9.339509955726095,2.245317197452229,1248,41,246,26,22,421,157,314,0.124,0.7979999999999999,0.078,-0.9688,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,2,20,10,3,1,13,0,26,1,1,4,7,55,53,20,0,5,12,1,9,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,17,12,0,1,11,0,2,2,9,7,0,3,6,10,35,3,42,40,10,50,0,4,0,0,4,22,0,2,25,180,52,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340935389149273,0.24655562030464875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252953904323702,0.0,0.08744978032760531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219832505326656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885273358000864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627820845146705,0.0,0.08851573107684667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516948682618536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787867761304531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.467672825242093,0.07341897544346591,0.0,0.11257961423947124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738626451386836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908792544180198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308678329988454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134678124349707,0.0,0.0,0.05647975580410927,0.0,0.0,0.21763738070673586,0.11166000746028018,0.0,0.0,0.10041655328637686,0.10300263251730694,0.18149575107021876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859983553934182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922834543088282,0.0755478437169096,0.07620272225202437,0.15852526360818753,0.09925599685555307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124784298065838,0.0,0.10737287437282493,0.0,0.0,0.11585783910868952,0.0,0.10455413176542944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583715357574131,0.0,0.0,0.11033661995443564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080176428299865,0.0,0.0,0.10721162100953788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207232954854686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982559163203073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827588368601614,0.06585092634132134,0.10097109522638233,0.0,0.059926068066980566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039144842487134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24246585568239404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473913943714513,0.0,0.099066702926637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970834251939375
mentalhealth,sadfemail,2019/02/14,"bipolar Currently going through a pretty severe depressive episode, I've thought about just fucking ending it so much the past two weeks, I have nothing left to live for, I have ruined everything and I don't even have the energy to type everything I want to say. I miss my old home, I miss my friends, I miss my parents.",5.615806451612903,6.378761064516129,5.8711290322580645,80.57669354838713,67.38709677419354,9.425806451612903,34.854838709677416,9.516144504307137,3.2557935483870963,254,12,48,5,4,81,45,62,0.202,0.648,0.15,-0.34,2,3,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,4,11,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,1,1,10,1,6,10,1,7,0,5,0,1,3,1,1,0,5,30,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19182484243916414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19726014491989247,0.0,0.0,0.14710172395002827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003253053483933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206971968261095,0.20589722223944248,0.0,0.0,0.12657455478337135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223402165055756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419814317437956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19666218325755447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372178189471553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21370187275677424,0.0,0.2337028284875076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24729960404128745,0.0,0.2126074876098178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265820957277643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711258971166052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516055263750712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768115139188654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21756103171787147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313635836176197,0.0,0.17864922754655527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gardenersteve13,2019/02/14,"I just need to get some stuff out I suffer from depression and anxiety, which at the moment are causing me severe insomnia and recurring nightmares that wake me after a couple of hours when I do get to sleep.
As a result I’m sleeping through a lot of days, I’m probably going to have to drop out of school, which causes me further anxiety about my future. I also kept promising my gf, one of the few people who’s always been there for me, that I’d come in and see her bc she has some issues of her own and needed me, but I kept letting her down and now she wants a break, she says she wants to stay together she just need to focus on herself for a bit, but I can’t help but feel she would be better without me and that she just doesn’t want to hurt me. I know I shouldn’t have kept promising her things, but I did want to follow through, I’m just too weak and tired and I’m certain she thinks I don’t really care about her. The only other friend I have is also her friend so I don’t want to go and dump my issues on her and leave her caught in the middle, so I’m essentially alone, though perhaps I’ve brought that on myself.
My gf’s house is where I’d go when things at home got too bad, so I’ve now lost that as well, once again it’s my fault bc I kept hurting her, but still I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just feel like I’m drowning, I’m being dragged down into the dark and I just don’t know what to do anymore, I keep having suicidal thoughts, but I don’t want my gf to blame herself if I do it. I just feel like I’ve ruined everything in my life, I’ve messed things up with the only people in the world who cared about me, and I feel like I’m teetering on the edge.

TL:DR I’ve fucked everything up",3.1866934046345854,3.304506737967916,4.5591577540106965,90.13128565062391,72.52941176470588,7.623707664884138,24.13948306595365,7.333567415737692,0.7499718360071297,1336,32,316,13,24,446,168,374,0.174,0.7,0.126,-0.9641,0,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,27,24,2,0,13,0,26,8,3,3,1,64,74,29,2,12,15,0,4,3,5,2,4,1,1,0,18,17,0,5,9,0,0,8,9,12,1,1,11,6,56,12,47,58,6,44,0,6,1,1,28,21,1,4,15,209,74,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739388616036944,0.0,0.15040257740741486,0.07824624824397883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387596852278425,0.0,0.09325935338087313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785168979305264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316801142715885,0.102663958225462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175380861814498,0.19320363523404227,0.0,0.08100447756307133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405006026201387,0.0,0.06064603210867426,0.0,0.08099385898368225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902863527319356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901915633016352,0.2015399772939326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530537790750447,0.08693561465315468,0.09826081600421556,0.0,0.21377338848690594,0.0,0.07520991311418047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303096338054541,0.0,0.09432669524497928,0.0,0.09260742113948407,0.10850597680119446,0.2013369295432811,0.0,0.0,0.19630021998035546,0.0,0.08358433273545349,0.0,0.0,0.15504069123236575,0.0,0.0,0.09957151744719732,0.0,0.09615911902471637,0.06642105561462673,0.13782506325530922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265240355472993,0.07994682420451578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20918154768088168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014624777633294,0.06372184878373237,0.14303862598033745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303867160574449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138770160814001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024245710597127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478193091643187,0.0,0.09517038058954094,0.07493524800118029,0.0,0.0,0.10623494988247184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882096590576061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023084171653338,0.07509800354183678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764977204932713,0.10286112459859724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742184788997227,0.06025505949223225,0.09239079368947012,0.07465480822473577,0.0,0.10808160292266326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327924610335367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455048193520738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064823245771267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680112792211743,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RangerGuy894,2019/02/14,"As of December 2018, I reached the last of my goals, and yet, there is still contentedness in my life. I finally got my grades in a place that I want them, and my test scores are doing fine. I have a decent social situation, and my friends enjoy my company. I finally found a girl that I like that like's me back and life's been feeling really nice.

​

I'm not saying this to brag, or to share my success. I'm saying this to express the fact that I have everything I wanted to attain, and life feels just as empty. When I'm with my friends, I don't have any fun. When I'm with my girlfriend, I don't get the little nice feelings that I used to get. When I get good grades, it feels like they don't matter because I am probably going to end up working a dead end job for the rest of my life because social security is going to run out by the time I can retire. 

​

I just want to have one day that's free of doubt and sadness. Why can't I just be happy for one full day? It's like I can wake up in the morning and feel fine and then by 12 PM, I feel like I would rather die than exist for another second.",3.7205602240896334,3.8280244453781513,5.124890756302523,86.57991316526609,71.3529411764706,8.195406162464986,26.37086834733893,8.021203637495839,1.3279486834733891,870,25,197,11,15,293,122,238,0.08900000000000001,0.7020000000000001,0.208,0.9733,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,2,4,11,22,0,1,10,0,18,5,1,1,1,32,39,15,2,5,6,0,6,5,3,1,4,2,0,1,10,11,0,1,7,0,1,3,5,2,0,3,3,8,32,21,28,34,2,27,0,1,0,0,12,9,0,2,20,125,42,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304124866683839,0.2584000915218633,0.07230662322755628,0.11149408189666647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175959762416875,0.0,0.12963301100301358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714540807607145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035158095541413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834993246943751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556066718241203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32257550891649256,0.15192135670194515,0.0,0.23295405076051404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658306240867315,0.16429735512673516,0.0,0.16665582941153076,0.0,0.12085720030003365,0.08918280410310027,0.0850401408531296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318803467475655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551404151132207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667143599518022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004101821793714,0.25973222382997085,0.10656849664124413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441010837963251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110900325779391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463946797068772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811638021510348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691124394399367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951702297525865,0.0,0.21677582297899747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491360426505411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200065791955309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183317304697122,0.0,0.0,0.1881448640831872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594439825509543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740798300668322,0.0,0.0,0.07553229477902043,0.0,0.2584000915218633,0.0
mentalhealth,imhighbro,2019/02/14,"I’m at the bed of my rope I feel like. I can’t do this. The constant anxiety and depression. Missing everyone in my life’s who’s gone and coming to terms with the people who’ve hurt me. Understanding it. I get it, I’m not a good guy. I deserve these things. I just wish I didn’t remind myself daily. ",-1.2964615384615357,0.7243111230769266,1.8311538461538461,93.51134615384615,99.30769230769228,5.06153846153846,17.26923076923077,6.742157984588678,0.13303076923076995,233,7,53,4,10,82,49,65,0.214,0.703,0.083,-0.8023,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,9,12,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,1,10,2,5,10,1,6,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,32,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200614673406788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24779627031141965,0.0,0.3108615931926044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477637876086385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748743986082821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454510955710698,0.20550656043755927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029208542603725,0.0,0.0,0.24127814178702803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848316735953671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079492746430751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031849392354483,0.1405376495124788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994293581612966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111056688542735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299467409234598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307983431530505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dancingskyes,2019/02/14,"Any advice or tips (ADHD and Depression related) First of all I just want to say that I'm not suicidal or anything like that.  
I'm 19 years old and have been battling my mental health since I was 12 years old which has gradually gotten worse. I've recently been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and afterwards ADHD (in the last month) and have been told again for the third time that I don't seem to be suffering from any depression disorders. SERIOUSLY. In the past I have been extremely suicidal but I won't get into any of that. My problem now is being told I can't get therapy because there are no free counselling for ADHD in adults, just for kids. And since being diagnosed with ADHD my anxiety disorder is looked at as an extension of ADHD and not a separate issue. I can't afford therapy either so that's sort of shit but I never liked going anyway because of the constant almost misdiagnosing and being told things I already know/told I don't have a problem when clearly I do.   
 My ""depression"" isn't as bad as it was, I don't feel sad I just feel completely numb all the time and feel like I don't really care about anything and since seeing my new therapist roughly since November, I've had four jobs (the longest being three weeks) and am now on my fifth and I also dropped out of my ""dream course"" in college. If that's not enough evidence I don't  know what to tell you. The numb feeling along with ADHD has made me a bit of an adrenaline junkie as well to the point where I cannot function without an adrenaline kick.  
 I've taken antidepressants (lexapro) but stopped taking it because it made me zone out and feel sick too much of the time. Normally I'd go to my friends for advice but right now everyone seems to be dealing with an awful lot as well as growing awfully apart since finishing school last year which has just made my anxiety worse. I'm not mad about it, life happens. I am having a hard time letting go though and accepting life happening. Especially considering everyones going off to college which makes me feel a bit left behind but I know I wouldn't be happy if I went back.   
I left college because of the anxiety of feeling depressed and not ""participating"" like everyone else, and also getting to know all these new people. Don't get me wrong I'm very sociable, I knew most people in my year after the first month of college because of my adhd anxiety cycle which makes me be sort of a class clown and like I don't have a single brain cell and I absolutely hate that part of myself which is why I had to get out of there.   
 I'm here because really I don't know where else to go, I'm completely sick of feeling like this and I'm ready to fight.   
I'm understanding now that most of the thoughts I have about myself are coming from this illness ie. ""I'm a bad person"". So I feel like that's one step out of the way. I was studying art because I'm a writer at heart but I want to illustrate my books. Since leaving college I haven't drawn or written a single thing due to lack of motivation.   
 I feel like it's worth noting since last month I've changed my diet completely for a more healthier diet and since starting my new job I've gotten a really good sleep pattern which I guess are two steps out of the way. I just want to keep things that way.

TL;DR   
I want my motivation back. I want to be nicer to people. I wan't to be ""myself"". Less anxious. Learn how to let go. And I also want to know if I should take Ritalin for my ADHD because I'm not sure if it will work well with everything else, (any similar experiences with that?).   
I would really appreciate any advice, I'm open to any suggestions.   
",4.423195915485304,5.547201398891968,5.637270653413722,79.86107517245127,70.32963988919667,9.208451469230349,29.115311498560644,9.528655866942456,2.602027450980392,2878,108,562,64,51,961,287,722,0.13699999999999998,0.7170000000000001,0.146,0.5163,3,0,0,0,1,0,65.0,0,1,0,5,33,37,5,0,31,2,58,17,4,8,6,119,132,47,2,17,26,0,12,8,1,5,11,1,0,3,30,35,2,2,24,3,2,11,24,19,3,7,22,15,66,19,82,93,17,78,0,6,2,0,14,23,1,16,48,360,96,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111224913758815,0.12535641688941046,0.0,0.0,0.042818880651912264,0.0,0.04718773421107121,0.1025876674186246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17447333560939704,0.0,0.1635599187945413,0.04830766375878159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037718093421362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576100998234452,0.0714071576031545,0.20853326039585496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336769075690972,0.0,0.0,0.04773532422854245,0.0,0.0,0.04359760380853474,0.0,0.04523537931679182,0.03683474289206835,0.13450202084609106,0.046209359188004825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04408462685225832,0.1473196574437488,0.0868028594206023,0.0,0.0,0.1470231433768127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716377527010344,0.0,0.0,0.04418345702332212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122579663377783,0.0384307541323103,0.0418283811020644,0.0,0.0,0.21621203991475532,0.12219362796441495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274482674529692,0.0,0.0,0.03303697768984673,0.0,0.11170406879860392,0.0,0.14581208420146374,0.035865827629414544,0.0,0.0,0.047105969969680785,0.0,0.07562667373770349,0.04551979030244342,0.03830538170719035,0.04221755180853222,0.0,0.04545285420173782,0.0,0.05067189143978202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04463128675203752,0.08486722218227298,0.03800786695671625,0.0,0.0,0.1410016870957822,0.10456756148427407,0.0,0.045277635939135474,0.09291972087387364,0.08745186766362074,0.06040659923470493,0.1671265892724522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03590839989472083,0.0,0.0,0.03635380170581117,0.0,0.1213842381298576,0.05708648705380703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0430929459331604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023940657547403,0.0,0.03143419345236651,0.0,0.032979854607232226,0.12389627762863302,0.0,0.0,0.04189661875559655,0.0,0.0,0.08974077652985353,0.0,0.02897590339655597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046305905093055134,0.04082013289622241,0.08893510532385569,0.03733718255504364,0.0,0.0,0.04042288724449472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183284340010695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957495118499584,0.0,0.0422212459129783,0.0,0.0,0.03651758869006624,0.0,0.03400519676377682,0.0,0.043276329968630886,0.03407491384075287,0.07785586402184855,0.0,0.0,0.04389346586454992,0.2829781732794447,0.0,0.04279179750152017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030266396490172376,0.0,0.0,0.03575004054938928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354700362651604,0.0,0.0403016573501073,0.0,0.06430177445996854,0.0,0.03737492541699813,0.0,0.09780166837499077,0.049648719365413464,0.08522535774652944,0.0,0.042012382938905884,0.03394739092630657,0.09973693616012612,0.0,0.0,0.1634395511703773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177120160537879,0.04451562168327712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03528223405085284,0.1513289772043092,0.1018248744808696,0.034300227580136795,0.0,0.11534159680465506,0.03963979760881898,0.038585075726560725,0.0,0.0,0.0412199971736191,0.0,0.031130456185800036,0.0,0.08715405330418703,0.03037612791213301,0.04675234901167534,0.0,0.11014651193352093
mentalhealth,TimelyRoad,2019/02/14,"Would anyone care if I just left or killed myself? I don't know if this is a normal thing or what, but I just feel like nobody except maybe my family cares for me. I will disclose that I am a teenager and I know that we tend to go through mood swings and this might just be normal but, I feel like I have nobody that would notice since I'm always the one who carries conversations whenever I talk to people. I tried talking to many people, but nobody seems to want to talk to me. The only times people approach me is when they need something from me or when they want to tell me something. I know my teachers might notice, but they're paid to, it's their moral and legal responsibility to care for us. I am an atheist and don't believe in any afterlife which is one of the things that normally keep me from wanting to do this, but I feel so detached from reality and from life that, what would really be the difference. I don't know anymore. Is this normal? A few of my peers claim to have depression, but I'm not sure if this is just me being subconsciously edgy or what. I don't want to be treated weirdly if I claim to be depressed. Sorry if this is just a rant, but I would like if the main question be answered. ",5.583433179723502,5.19482356451613,6.211313364055298,82.08161290322583,67.38709677419354,8.859907834101383,29.004608294930872,8.192908349453996,1.7723527649769588,956,28,200,11,14,313,118,248,0.097,0.797,0.106,-0.163,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,2,0,3,0,8,13,1,0,10,0,28,1,0,0,1,57,50,25,1,19,24,0,3,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,19,6,0,1,10,0,1,2,5,4,0,2,1,3,33,8,24,36,2,7,1,2,0,0,12,2,0,14,6,149,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327650243490327,0.0,0.0,0.06805940529254803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925476228181222,0.06997988077673492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275849526268605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061217668960838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17240150029521334,0.0,0.0,0.10456471639382146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434869826931884,0.0,0.15181387484867825,0.14299764982567967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687908528003214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895775893126465,0.11072625169328393,0.0,0.2200104889487313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873972668437007,0.0,0.07069109796003481,0.14668548937941794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146775756311012,0.10054613610039703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123430379418828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420976747863549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922376717998765,0.0,0.2278887550031516,0.0,0.0,0.13563673184300878,0.07611710945932426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081534243670093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211509627030886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411529291765145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911111795740628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278912412419075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409650934903013,0.0,0.11203395634024156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432639624749466,0.0,0.0,0.24132711813175836,0.08747635349033453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298048423993195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058358801965783726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794932143445177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038670058458803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361245666813543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843824166349637,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kizzae88,2019/02/14,"I need help to help my partner! Do you think my partner could have clinical depression?

My male partner is 23 and is a very pessimistic person, and I don’t really mind usually because I can be pessimistic too. But my partner talks negatively about every single thing that isn’t games and is stressed out about life 24/7 even when he is having actually playing games. At first I thought it was a temporary thing, but if i think about it, he’s been complaining everyday about basic stuff since i’ve known him for the last 3 years. He can’t handle any stress at all. That includes stress from work, stress from paying bills and stress from commuting to and from work.  To me, those are things that everyone has to experience, and they will never cease to exist unless you move to the forest and live off the land. But he talks about these things everyday in a way that suggests that life is dealing him a hard blow when I think that we have an normal amount of every day stress. This affects his sleep every night, and his energy is constantly low. I try to ask him to find some techniques to deal with the stress but he says that his stress is what keeps him from becoming a failure so he denies that it’s bad that he stresses about everything. He says that a counsellor could not help him. I doubt he will go to one, even if he knows he needs one.

We are moving out of our current living environment, mainly because it has such a bad effect on his mental health. So I have been doing ALL of the apartment hunting on my own because he can barely handle stress from work and from our current bad living environment which consists of aggressive housemates. But every time I find a place that suits his and my needs and is in our agreed price range, he freaks out about spending the money and about the move, even though i’m the one doing all the work for the move so far. He constantly complains about our current living situation, but also complains about moving even though that would have a positive affect on his mental health after the move. It’s like he can’t see anything positive about anything. 

If I could describe his condition it would be ‘constantly stressed and unable to handle the stress” 

Any thoughts? 
Thank you for taking the time to read this ",8.115174825174822,7.393720925407925,7.280734265734264,77.59494755244756,62.35664335664336,10.317482517482516,33.25291375291376,9.457814108942452,2.8258662004662014,1803,59,336,27,22,555,193,429,0.183,0.748,0.068,-0.9952,3,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,6,3,1,6,25,26,1,13,23,0,38,6,1,3,4,59,54,31,0,12,11,0,1,1,4,4,5,3,0,6,29,19,0,1,10,4,5,7,7,23,0,4,5,5,40,3,51,40,8,44,0,2,1,0,59,16,0,5,21,231,69,6,0.0,0.0,0.04979537015391298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040806583956983486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940074764295945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398238544781729,0.0,0.047703719833360816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781721334860469,0.09331746679523223,0.056355741316468165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542743669647478,0.0,0.1222236521711541,0.0,0.0,0.032908444038120946,0.1052139933848836,0.043949814738411135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481243478367502,0.0,0.17197110161388066,0.04875885621448648,0.045860126304390514,0.049914577107819484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327621686374146,0.04340387038782486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029000040675598537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04571051708175351,0.0,0.0,0.10847945514731606,0.0,0.0,0.10260774822138022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045355487253632316,0.0,0.0,0.02804331810699578,0.04159413196785863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208430677641066,0.02492940441159871,0.0,0.18023247479975654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102847211195447,0.0,0.05152311587079336,0.0,0.0,0.32540422956250153,0.0,0.11350848549049958,0.03935546756592315,0.0,0.0,0.04788574719327896,0.04999600635583595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373243665541286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044555147211769064,0.05331276010723382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051041196997387496,0.0,0.032689451551228536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115805446978393,0.0,0.0,0.040662221906135915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04221038287234129,0.057356922369613775,0.05106423963098127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7014204101991279,0.0,0.05841415136366455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038366245535777034,0.08202776360285859,0.0,0.04697916336530707,0.0,0.0,0.13560131753288415,0.09808887000688823,0.10026829977332118,0.08102009293000305,0.0595089608932604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03464424710378021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619945907485992,0.042102939336098544,0.0,0.04050316567251002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859418555034848,0.0,0.0,0.07249678514726546,0.0,0.0,0.03285996504172465
mentalhealth,elizaisme96,2019/02/14,"Feeling Empty Does anyone ever just feel so fucking like empty and like every day is just a literal repeat until one day I will not wake up. I cant understand if I am actually suicidal, bored, or worried if I am suicidal. I feel like every day is just a waiting game until the appropriate time to get drunk and lay in bed. I honestly cant even tell if I am actually depressed or bored. Is this my ocd telling me I am depressed or am I really depressed? I went from feeling okay to suddenly feeling super low to the point where my boyfriend surprising me with flowers and shit doesn’t even make me smile. Its all forced. I just feel so shallow and hopeless. How do I get rid of this feeling? :-( ",4.837753623188405,5.490741471014495,6.294347826086959,77.24557971014495,69.07246376811594,9.321739130434784,33.44927536231884,9.444778638647367,3.1164144927536244,545,25,104,11,9,186,80,138,0.276,0.555,0.16899999999999998,-0.9641,1,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,0,1,11,16,2,0,4,1,13,4,2,2,2,29,27,15,2,3,11,0,7,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,5,1,1,8,2,0,1,4,9,0,1,1,7,17,7,10,25,1,15,0,5,0,1,3,5,2,6,12,71,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.269522252347489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655946889731408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671801996146626,0.0,0.3568239282669719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084815800227112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824213323198373,0.12491513634147106,0.2327025509720495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4887760536670133,0.09865533470101433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766691168973726,0.14429822540992973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023992152059801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217970823877272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357697272672752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054472764646452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846740754068771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175287658422878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021077647596673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414028186486576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052450019567642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376211361418556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128015758783015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024251569289964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CuteHummingbird59xcb,2019/02/14,"Do you do everything you’re physically able to do or do you take breaks? I’m done trying to do everything I can do in the literal sense. People really do need rest sometimes.

Does anyone else feel this way?",2.535,4.832036097560977,4.524573170731706,80.8800304878049,78.26829268292683,8.978048780487804,22.445121951219512,9.516144504307137,2.2280682926829267,164,5,32,5,4,56,30,41,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,0,0,3,13,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,3,12,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,19,4,0,0.2815892204620403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968937302225473,0.2885214330378912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24642062442260196,0.2881635382218205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.235231660956464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5061484687470614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423799706750032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087948389685461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19521851007898372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039326513206244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784989392546812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21172004957657747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19118059669184131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22351241630342852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NonbiasedWolf,2019/02/14,"Dear reddit, please help Just some context before I start this:  
I was diagnosed with manic depression type 2 almost exactly a year ago. Although I'm still in the process in finding the right dosage and its volumes with the help of my psychiatrist, I still suffer from certain symptoms such as depressive phases and phases of irritability and hyper-activity. I've tried a wide spectrum of anti-depressants in order to help with my mood disorder, but I've experienced a lot of odd and inconvenient symptoms with each of them, eg. extremely restless legs, extreme lethargy, and increased thoughts of suicide.  


This isn't a throwaway account, because I don't feel like I should hide what I'm feeling right now.  


I've been experiencing a lot of turbulence in my life the past month or so. From severe dysfunctional events within my family, to losing my friends, and a severe change of routine as I've transitioned from undergrad to honours. Personally, I don't feel like any of these aspects should have led to what I feel like now, but it is the only factors that I can attribute my current mindset to.  


I'm not a person to share my feelings with. I've only got my boyfriend to do so with. I used to have friends with which I could share my issues with and have them do the same, but we've separated due to the different academic paths we've chosen to take. I know it seems unfair, but my only option left is my boyfriend. I don't believe that he should carry the responsibility of helping me with my (sort of unfix-able) mental problems. I would see my psychiatrist more often, but I neither have the time nor money to do so.  


Therefore, I usually try to tend to my issues alone. They're burdensome, and my boyfriend isn't the best at comforting. (He's the type of person that wants to fix a problem when you just want to be heard and understood. I've told- kindly- a lot of times that I actually have thought of ways to fix my problems and that I really just need him to listen. His response has always been that that is just the way he was raised to comfort people). Furthermore, he has been experiencing some issues at work as well.  


Today, a particularly stressful event unfolded at his work. I comforted him as much as I could over text. He seems to prefer being given advice as opposed to being listened to (in a sense). I did so far into a lecture until I was reprimanded by my professor for being on my phone during class. I had to stop there.  


Fast forward to the afternoon: He's feeling ambivalent about life where I've been constantly empathizing with him and his situation. Keep in mind, I've been in the mental state where nothing truly brings me any happiness. It's not his fault, but the entire situation just... made me snap. I knew then that I wasn't ok anymore.  


When I got home, I just had a complete mental breakdown. I really hoped that he would come and visit me. It was selfish of me to hope so, as we live about 30 minutes away from each other. But I truly needed it. He didn't.  


That was fine, though. I understood why he wouldn't. We usually play games together at night (he has a job), and I told him that we could at least talk over voice chat while playing divinity or something. He didn't. That hurt me really badly, and I freaked out on him, telling him that I just wanted some sort of affection and care. Not because it's valentine's day, but just because I can't anymore. He said that he didn't know how to respond and has gone to bed. My messages to him weren't kind, so I understand why he would do so.  


I just feel so broken and abandoned right now. I've been feeling really numb for a while and was so desperately hoping for a breakdown so that I could at least feel something again, and now it's just made everything worse. I don't have any friends to confide in anymore, I've never been close to my family, and now I've pushed away the one person that would listen to me and at least try to support me.  


I know this is so stupid but I really just need someone to help me right now.",5.3416794543904516,6.119830388746803,6.113273657289003,78.54378942881502,68.00255754475704,9.048934356351236,31.19011082693948,9.168548406835145,2.6301016197783462,3172,124,604,57,51,1042,330,782,0.168,0.71,0.122,-0.992,3,1,2,0,0,1,95.0,3,1,2,5,44,47,1,2,32,1,63,7,1,8,3,139,118,60,1,25,25,0,9,3,3,8,6,6,2,4,32,40,0,4,22,4,2,8,19,17,1,1,36,19,85,29,100,66,17,82,1,6,1,0,60,35,0,18,40,411,117,10,0.0,0.0,0.056740672511725224,0.0,0.0,0.05681816045571035,0.05154161640668031,0.0,0.05822334648159,0.06022019620737136,0.0,0.0,0.04838090569652671,0.0,0.0,0.118620820025231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299124555481618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925739733198576,0.0,0.04854825272281253,0.1063330949581461,0.0,0.04947671133287978,0.06550897271473051,0.061019095584127526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928222208671966,0.0,0.06150920162061964,0.05008636296216217,0.060963432041874786,0.0628335792466657,0.0,0.18569469944949635,0.0,0.0,0.03749841080136496,0.0,0.15023939197450986,0.059015472645392135,0.0,0.060748657005474924,0.06663866723676533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052256553168312944,0.0,0.10962697375832144,0.0,0.26459658659006485,0.12461538865268493,0.0,0.0,0.05314304580766652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347669557999949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300698232777284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189593193931666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19486525959473455,0.0,0.0583237030494115,0.17325190940832466,0.0,0.0,0.062244920491835214,0.0,0.0,0.18206334445833025,0.05769947283556427,0.05168152864239429,0.0,0.12109715813230462,0.095864137003075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317420050505881,0.0,0.08213840024469919,0.08521943911203518,0.0,0.051342684053665696,0.0,0.0,0.06504885476310883,0.0,0.14829719696649293,0.0,0.11003551776596793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578802741543215,0.0,0.0587093987929444,0.0,0.046410408035975514,0.0,0.04274291875177096,0.1293402937383777,0.044844644990120495,0.0,0.0,0.05456470131811232,0.0,0.05579124340472943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03940023740437072,0.13266460238969974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550553178543136,0.04031009508587189,0.20307823870698025,0.0,0.06382523198166827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669093839791445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862443696394947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862043907763532,0.055308761707692736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04633366133525677,0.1058651902514225,0.0,0.1313735343811739,0.0,0.0,0.13071377272205942,0.0,0.0,0.049265670437644515,0.08952499767635122,0.0,0.0,0.04115499664556941,0.0,0.09286859137389047,0.04861142948969234,0.0666043611168625,0.0,0.0,0.06360067710244965,0.06598172206634259,0.0,0.12086885681612025,0.04371744936770791,0.04673436965196725,0.05082088086252401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057126704181135975,0.09232052187987598,0.06780908448156632,0.0,0.055114214497378716,0.11111917770512132,0.0,0.1184289547354479,0.0,0.0,0.06053050489990039,0.0,0.05021820411512543,0.12807596741811353,0.0,0.10288544840881594,0.09230484087209656,0.0,0.0,0.052278914132064265,0.0,0.10493278660452812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465981870802812,0.0,0.059254242118751264,0.1652168196151324,0.0,0.0,0.037443170106302
mentalhealth,Tunethelevel,2019/02/14,Depression So I’ve basically been in this constant state of super super sadness for about 13 years I’m 25 now has anyone ever got out of it and stayed out ,0.16843749999999955,2.5443514687500013,2.7622500000000016,86.65775000000002,96.8125,5.0600000000000005,18.9,6.742157984588678,0.5732050000000002,125,4,24,2,5,43,28,32,0.163,0.644,0.193,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,7,2,0,9,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,15,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30069744915838115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647258472542496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703971112443164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890003050772432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439462559752944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4583707295249366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769348676322553
mentalhealth,toddhowardshrine,2019/02/14,"Is there a term for how I feel? I’m always questioning whether my emotions are real or if I’m making them up to get attention, and I’m never sure if shit i remember actually happened.... i keep thinking I’m lying to myself and these thoughts are subconsciously implanting themselves into my head. My mom has told me many times that childhood memories I recall never happened and that I make a lot of things up but they feel completely real in my head. I can’t differentiate between these false stories and reality. ",5.6010456553755485,7.159478000000004,6.8452135493372595,70.66690721649485,67.96907216494846,9.666568483063331,34.47569955817379,9.957137785484203,3.784903976435936,414,20,69,10,7,140,67,97,0.056,0.921,0.023,-0.2309,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,5,3,3,3,3,27,20,10,0,2,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,7,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,2,14,1,9,18,2,9,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,5,5,49,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.1695730987852227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458940540932652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18219308348498672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954662997653517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572526267270494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078692767980764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30732601923696024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.356673456098604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445352643709048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773185980817186,0.0,0.0,0.23198379554966705,0.17617409839871873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035156980762224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680421319760184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19466061413668434,0.0,0.0,0.3955734462526178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684596310982247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783709829874524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377486024333202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544414441712506,0.11134391003284784,0.0,0.13795286770177487,0.10132587500572912,0.0,0.0,0.16604335535527415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-MaybeMe-,2019/02/14,"Being lonely can be hard, especially on Valentine's Day. Please contact someone. Seeing all the happy peolpe today and all the posts about love, can make you feel things you don't want to feel or intensify bad feelings and thoughts.

If you feel lonely, unwanted or not loved. If you want to hurt or kill yourself, need help or just someone to talk, contact **family**, **friends**, a **stanger** (you can message me if you want) any **helpline** or the **police**.

**USA**: 1-800-273-8255

**UK**: 111 (Option 2) or 116 123 (Samaritans)

**Canada** : 1 833 456 456 6

**Australia**: 13 11 14

**Germany**: 0800 111 0 111

**List of Crisis Lines**: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

**Many lines also have a chat.** If you would prefer to write.


If you think someone is alone, get in contact with them and check if they are all right. It does no harm to be sure.

*I hope you had a lovely day no matter if you did something special or not.*",-0.11373271889400982,-1.8005507142857144,0.6382027649769597,95.31324884792627,157.33333333333331,2.5124423963133644,16.40015360983103,4.906252579359067,-0.5439657450076805,712,23,133,6,62,216,115,168,0.199,0.6709999999999999,0.13,-0.8954,0,5,1,0,0,1,90.0,0,10,2,0,3,14,1,0,6,0,13,3,0,1,4,43,30,18,1,15,17,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,7,1,1,0,5,6,0,0,3,6,14,8,10,23,3,7,0,3,1,3,24,3,0,16,3,71,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555422186990997,0.0,0.12009968751781686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212822658971762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253948578391802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937086353438564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13142440085867424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157727640839254,0.0,0.3037440942142439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602946426960123,0.0,0.07846337144465843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598704618818781,0.13453267305059274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066315533203432,0.0,0.0,0.14916361442612738,0.0,0.0,0.1607718613654068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615301990597867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066326345897247,0.0,0.10024698039982063,0.15225995718611546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135730492576272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648536341068617,0.0,0.0,0.14383187943870593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128253749235307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967480909098005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817436093623297,0.11561666720297825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154381055707524,0.0,0.0,0.12070979510161513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977357991954977,0.09622991761347023,0.0,0.11922693472474072,0.0,0.0,0.14235402314632492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657419258856568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668427001156547,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reallyconfusedplshal,2019/02/14,"i wish there was a place where you could get diagnosed and thats it like i really want to be professionally diagnosed so the constant confusion will go away and i have clear answers as to whats wrong with me, but i don't want to have my parents know/be put on medication/sent to a psych ward/etc. i just want to know what's wrong with me and that's it",0.6106578947368426,2.6699879605263166,2.7097368421052606,92.55565789473684,83.86842105263158,6.957894736842108,20.026315789473685,8.07648339933343,0.7235315789473686,279,8,67,6,8,94,51,76,0.113,0.7390000000000001,0.149,-0.117,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,3,0,7,2,0,0,1,16,14,6,0,5,2,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,0,9,1,10,10,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,43,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955839868160764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22495944869792373,0.0,0.16620801216135594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42257940261008814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321662619967555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087610223375351,0.0,0.11830866680059668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288112361646008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101702084940551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311498271079353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21749492155209504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20926986553174573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336000024036945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683548515074305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23938696363751136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552057351069928,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,strawsandink,2019/02/14,"Coming out I have always thought it was total BS that you should have to stay in the closet about ""abnormal"" mental health for your safety. Everyone around me has always told me, from counselors to other mad folk, not to tell ANYONE about having bipolar disorder. They said I will be treated poorly and judged, which i don't doubt. A few days ago a friend of mine killed herself. My best friend. Now that she is gone, I'm beginning to think that staying in the closet is way, way scarier than the possibility of getting fired or ostracized by normies. I have never felt shame at having madness in my life, my feiends and family know, but i want to come out on a broader scale, tell my story and be heard. My story of madness is very special to me and I want to let people know it's okay, we are just people like everyone else. I feel peide in myself for having acomplished so much with BP as my constant companion, I want to share that with the world.  Has anyone else come out on a large scale before? How did it go? Any advice for moving forward? ",4.371617647058823,5.744824299019609,4.926745098039216,83.96335294117648,70.71568627450979,7.2047058823529415,25.85490196078432,7.554174236665415,1.3414690196078438,823,25,156,9,15,263,132,204,0.069,0.794,0.13699999999999998,0.8888,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,2,1,1,7,14,4,2,8,1,20,3,0,1,2,32,40,9,1,4,4,0,3,1,3,2,3,2,2,0,9,14,0,0,6,0,1,7,3,6,0,0,8,5,25,8,33,27,4,29,0,0,0,0,15,13,0,2,8,111,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586649322221596,0.1141776231416427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21435171044241494,0.0,0.0,0.08759163455234614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012652672072835,0.13197566920709178,0.0,0.11466351952483972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096033398774278,0.0,0.13517261944360345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332861613984311,0.0,0.13919215639765015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306839628595407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762138180506434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151996511770269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461568821535865,0.0,0.0,0.12142563784935988,0.0,0.06512754256648895,0.0,0.12367274184383885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902843260828065,0.0,0.06729515616613542,0.0,0.07320269740978487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691340676306504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250335177012122,0.0,0.14157542416691002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317115650920032,0.09097859130569627,0.06292748579776784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980487449652794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689904564266808,0.09468629836337504,0.0,0.09934214975336117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17859396605659936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452079818808365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252279596480348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27457741224896576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251620258496787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825328712547144,0.0,0.10225656945126432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307844107679325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627739328918508,0.2279171041608651,0.2044784015325829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lammergeierr,2019/02/14,"In hindsight my mental health was horrible as a kid/teen, but I hid it too well I hid it so well, and though I'm better now (except for anxiety) it feels like since no one really knew, it never happened. I am more able to talk about it now but I'm finding no one's taking it seriously. I was extremely depressed with a lot of anxiety essentially due to being undiagnosed autistic (stop reading if you don't want to hear about self harm). I first hurt myself when I was 12, with my nails and tacks. I picked at my skin so there were scars all over my face, I remember an adult noticed but just kind of gave me a weird look. I did a lot of obsessive picking, there are still scars all over my legs and chest from that. No one noticed, a doctor saw one part and kind of joked about it being ""nerves"". I also cut myself... extensively. I didn't even realize how bad it was, it became normal to me. But I was terrified of what would happen if anyone found out, if I would be locked up against my will or something. And simply that it was ""bad"". There are scars literally all over my legs, many deep enough that there's no feeling or hair growth. I wanted to die and didn't even care, so I wouldn't attempt to clean them or seal them shut. I was still a stupid young teen so I got blood on my pajama pants a lot, even though I wasn't the one who did laundry that wasn't caught either. I knew it would be suspicious to use too many bandaids so at some points my legs were all taped up with regular tape. I'm amazed I didn't get infections. I had trouble verbalizing my thoughts/feelings anyway and was terrified of doctors, so when my mom took me due to what she thought was just anxiety the doctors just kind of gave up because I wouldn't ""open up"" as they put it.

I had no friends and everything was just blamed as my fault, like my choice to be ""difficult"" or moody.   I was 23 before I was able to really talk to doctors or about my feelings at all. The first therapist brought up the classic using a rubber band on my wrist as a distraction... which kind of seems like a joke. Now that I'm an adult I get blamed for not knowing how to fix my mental issues myself, I was told by my mom that I ""really need to learn how to deal with your anxiety"". I literally don't remember a time when I didn't have it, I don't know if it's my fault or if the adults when I was a kid should've noticed enough to do something about it. ",4.9085562941420875,4.637849026104419,5.655835756820387,85.09897590361447,68.77911646586345,9.278604071458249,28.417393712782165,8.939507131559953,1.869099072150672,1877,56,419,30,29,614,218,498,0.191,0.738,0.07200000000000001,-0.9962,0,0,2,0,0,3,60.0,0,2,3,4,42,31,2,2,19,0,45,16,9,7,6,78,80,43,1,14,22,2,5,3,1,6,7,1,1,5,25,14,0,1,15,4,0,5,18,16,2,7,38,8,62,15,57,31,14,41,0,2,2,0,23,19,0,16,20,296,87,6,0.14904985532968087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059597557728458136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228045462719623,0.0,0.0,0.05210956221413315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244504033836672,0.04542970418911655,0.0,0.06341522442249321,0.0,0.0,0.06591124231554299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598313058036868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683192804385802,0.06418821099528083,0.0,0.07734510894743113,0.0,0.0,0.3051176854261524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400834409335046,0.0,0.14766903558388414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669781995900824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072817060349247,0.053240623214546666,0.0,0.0,0.06811443375276281,0.12678173080127267,0.0,0.08171273655850224,0.05757777424677959,0.0,0.07787239760384497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960439263527825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180429482333034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921651316499674,0.08399500978503865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978047642642755,0.0,0.0,0.07778466229802458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104249758323324,0.08191390249872528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922734577262284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258216965581369,0.0,0.0,0.19007528539204246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111315900444625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020719727220902,0.0,0.0,0.17456538913961447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525928956154957,0.05747821853118309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301860597116627,0.0,0.2545413722829468,0.0,0.0,0.2525000985299169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070323425983762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045014522868544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491813622630482,0.0,0.0,0.07454509516866385,0.0,0.14322773094579766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884443055571385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784469518553532,0.0777457528372194,0.0,0.0,0.06164779028370895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474586054987405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190314070018303,0.062306176533168875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056033470862276426,0.11980062780582384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652918502717771,0.0,0.0,0.1464407260939613,0.05916446805068268,0.04345608463496114,0.0,0.0,0.07121176207936762,0.08279993676334405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873121912364954,0.0,0.0,0.08791346642203691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401372010940168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15882111116540895,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hidingmyself101,2019/02/14,"Bad day I'm having a bad day, I have chronic pain conditions as well as depression, anxiety and ptsd. And I'm having a bad day. I've made a throw away account because I don't want this found and connected to me, but I just need someone to tell me it's going to be OK. I can't afford to treat my condition this month, I'm pretending I'm eating so my family has enough food ( i.e I've eaten at my mother's so you two can eat the thing) I'm scared to go to bed because I know I'll have nightmares, I'm in agony but my pain killers aren't touching me. I am not in danger of self harm, I'm just scared I'm not going to bounce back again and I'll have to admit I'm struggling to my husband, who is going through a really bad time himself. What do I do?

",1.4075679410409947,2.387451341317366,3.8343712574850315,90.45244127130356,77.50299401197606,7.0546292031321975,23.6245969599263,7.61054688173877,0.8956314140948871,582,18,138,8,13,204,93,167,0.284,0.645,0.071,-0.9904,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,7,15,1,3,5,1,15,7,0,1,0,16,35,10,0,2,6,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,6,4,4,0,3,1,1,5,5,12,1,1,3,1,17,3,17,31,1,16,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,7,77,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105663771909214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977117274078512,0.10620811642769508,0.4613079823757424,0.16839708518099156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26723386412853395,0.0,0.1189651993945546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826687699396729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271805585014385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302101395058198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670189667506368,0.1514448190255937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139940991293924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590882806083668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069539026488194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024851818328477,0.0,0.0,0.10241650762901763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939453737076583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16145847954025072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848517667337784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765705813821041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409248746688955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703123055600173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439622443642716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120725652821655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176283150725673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054067395467493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492617113453353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146856642517293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418922951126606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rainbowtoaststudios,2019/02/14,Im tired of adulting Im getting through it but I don’t know what I’m doing and I keep messing up despite working so hard and everyone thinks I’m nice but slow 🙃 generally I’m feeling like a huge disappointment and a failure as an adult. ,0.4594117647058837,2.7389579803921578,3.226960784313725,87.06632352941178,86.84313725490196,5.752941176470588,30.068627450980397,7.1686216300943375,1.9171803921568629,191,11,40,3,6,67,38,51,0.232,0.563,0.205,-0.361,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,10,7,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,2,4,10,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,19,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879245387512203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235663930579713,0.21526334181691675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742746357371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699238778069082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6509554409397071,0.0,0.0,0.2678274012395529,0.0,0.0,0.16559780228420484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720991884997586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307393463816064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3463234542315584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193648275274043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,guccicoochies_,2019/02/14,"Unhealthy coping mechanisms A few weeks ago, I was having an especially awful day. I lit a piece of paper on fire in my room. The smell of smoke was disgusting and lasted for ages, but it felt comforting to me. That was the first and last time I want to light something on fire again. But I get this urge to do it again, and I don't want to, but I'm impulsive so who knows what would happen. How do I avoid doing this? How can I ease this terrible feeling of wanting to burn something. It's gutting. ",2.9076470588235317,4.302762656862747,4.190343137254903,87.72904411764708,74.3921568627451,7.452941176470588,24.514705882352942,8.07648339933343,1.260035294117647,389,12,83,6,8,128,69,102,0.17600000000000002,0.7190000000000001,0.105,-0.8241,0,1,3,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,1,5,1,10,1,1,2,0,16,19,9,0,4,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,7,9,1,12,14,2,14,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,10,59,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23600817125984264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170457535812628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462035552007093,0.0,0.2556348331147709,0.0,0.0,0.2264659831746381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910087024418544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354376220071744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632007583271647,0.4340468214576109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099334180155599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524831329527755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711106911475593,0.0,0.2135639085167447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18913124081650295,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EpiphanyKingdom,2019/02/14,I dont know what triggered this. trauma? I read a story about a man using law of attraction to be with a girl. They becamw friends then lovers. Then she told him she had a fiancee but they still were fucking. Why I got angry after reading thus? I wanted something extremely cruel to happen especially to the woman and the cheater for doing that. ,2.2486363636363653,5.023149545454551,3.539621212121212,84.37943181818183,83.84848484848484,5.118181818181818,23.40151515151515,6.6274283507984215,1.0204606060606056,274,10,47,3,8,89,54,66,0.24,0.6759999999999999,0.084,-0.9379,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,2,6,2,0,6,0,5,2,0,3,0,9,12,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,9,3,8,7,0,4,0,0,0,2,12,0,1,0,4,36,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33013819378530784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176327392656964,0.2604175596137508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22529296088949186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490972437249884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548092750887974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5635317958226127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168584690668678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22495773328635774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691665499754299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24328943080375706,0.0,0.0,0.16614786491890873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254181111964322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PannyPOTN,2019/02/14,"Stress getting too much To put things into perspective, I feel like I’m losing my mind. All I seem to do is work and parent. My only free time is spent gaming, with the odd Saturday night out. My daughter is 15 months and going through a terrible 2s stage already. With my wife being a SAHM, she has the stress during the day, but recently the parenting aspect is taking its toll on me. My wife and I are just getting good again after a rough 8 months. I don’t feel suicidal, I just feel I want to get away from everything. I guess I just need to get it off my chest I suppose?",2.3919491525423737,4.06513073728814,3.812000000000001,88.74952542372883,76.37288135593221,7.092881355932204,22.81694915254237,7.908726449838941,1.0421125423728816,449,13,95,7,10,148,80,118,0.132,0.79,0.078,-0.7469,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,2,7,0,9,1,1,0,1,20,24,4,1,2,4,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,4,1,2,2,1,4,0,0,1,4,17,4,14,22,2,17,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,2,10,61,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819942961023732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494859903313224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636032637653484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482202560459494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501668622430611,0.11781951221744262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446574193512053,0.0,0.09372833876972222,0.1383278125698371,0.0,0.0,0.181678946662376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805720132656161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450428365279484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652307880632658,0.0,0.2632765517516187,0.0,0.12123582550753292,0.1222867455061143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547670772389457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542976361963645,0.0,0.0,0.36625024839897896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657910395010449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628394763801746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013777846080595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778326299754665,0.0,0.0,0.18039667894776265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399997983193982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956610690237008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616669350279357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727461011725036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006436748029295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bigredhead888,2019/02/14,I randomly feel like I’m going to cry for literally no reason. For the few months I just get theses momentous where I feel like I’m gonna burst into tears. It’s not always because I saw something sad (even if it was sad I wouldn’t normally feel like I’m about to cry) I just feel like I’m gonna cry. Any reasons why?,1.1574761904761883,2.578613414285712,3.625714285714289,89.84761904761906,79.14285714285714,6.9523809523809526,21.666666666666664,7.793537801064563,0.7689523809523808,249,7,58,4,6,87,43,70,0.228,0.634,0.138,-0.7579,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,14,15,1,0,3,4,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,5,6,4,6,10,1,5,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,6,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730274440590487,0.0,0.0,0.11221344384156072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005894477634474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5437719853408521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898850584123833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33373898672737184,0.4715368487049065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621167153519495,0.0,0.09377980918868054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224650358334611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171056433519324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167618482657814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33931850449454753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703387521306506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889716688370316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,singachorus,2019/02/14,"Depression Treatment Isn't Helping Hey there. I'm clinically diagnosed with general and social anxiety, ocd, and depression. I've been in treatment for all three of these issues for about 4 or 5 years now. While my anxiety and ocd are under control, my depression just seems to not get better. I'm on my 5th medication now and I still feel like it's not working. I've been to 4 different therapists in the past few years. I currently go to therapy once every other week (used to go once a week but it's too expensive atm) and it's nice, but my depression just won't let up. My psychiatrist says I have treatment resistant depression. Right now we're trying Prozac. My motivation and energy came back for about a month, but it's gone since we moved the dosage up. My mood is still low and it's just been getting worse the past 3 weeks. I'm in community college and it's a struggle to just get to class most days. I don't know what else there is I can do at this point. ",2.8554479638009016,4.777359117948715,4.4958371040724,83.26004524886878,75.76923076923076,8.895927601809957,26.342383107088992,9.478462496947786,2.406061840120664,768,29,158,21,17,258,112,195,0.16699999999999998,0.7759999999999999,0.057,-0.9615,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,4,15,11,0,1,6,0,13,4,0,3,1,30,27,13,0,0,10,0,1,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,10,11,0,1,4,0,2,5,5,7,0,1,5,2,13,3,21,20,3,33,0,6,0,0,5,11,0,3,18,95,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845818011071236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276635249810508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669816162726148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798245925677152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531040913236142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780419448468794,0.0,0.5195444563578027,0.12244922419860875,0.0,0.1260453502782983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078102059161534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164619922635207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100028668796755,0.08618676300601648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890916035096046,0.0,0.1371274073106839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086387786474432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591904170556684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630176052885345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336475343792835,0.0,0.05893965168880753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153425551165745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629539854561844,0.128223493508702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256959865896555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303331313364635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404580945824032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302772131124513,0.0,0.09593946536413812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982806571605888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979641803995497,0.0,0.0,0.12297946046637577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926899244623501,0.0,0.0,0.12612135028855626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796479168755166,0.1400748134181024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190808828018997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041960668771262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29031552313309705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782890873282123,0.0,0.12294463896806784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537915483969955
mentalhealth,BettyBoopTheWoop,2019/02/14,"How do you find motivation and joy in life? I honestly don’t enjoy or have motivation to do anything at all. 

Showering? Pfft. 

Brushing my teeth? Pfft. 

Laundry? PFFFFT. 

Going to work? PFFFFT. 

Playing video games? Lol I get bored 5 minutes and zone off. 

Cooking? I’d rather delivery. 

Trying to enjoy a hobby I use to love? I can’t even get into it anymore. 

Being social? Only on days I’m not having an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. 

I feel like I procrastinate until I force myself to do something. The only times I actually get stuff done is when I’m having a manic episode. Blah. You guys have any advice for me? Because I feel fucked if life’s gunna be like this forever. ",0.19984615384615625,2.162980984615388,2.7892307692307696,83.97076923076926,108.3846153846154,5.0769230769230775,21.15384615384616,6.67199483983844,1.2053076923076929,528,21,93,10,26,181,95,130,0.069,0.6859999999999999,0.245,0.974,1,0,1,1,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,3,4,11,1,1,4,1,13,6,1,4,1,16,25,7,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,3,1,0,6,4,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,4,14,8,13,22,1,10,0,1,0,2,6,5,1,2,6,57,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.1904827422342137,0.0,0.0,0.19074287514076899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273969731799193,0.0,0.14932409497401788,0.0,0.19358157841704732,0.0,0.0,0.16062934194509526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898942223319132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588500986471438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997528629078121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892484876351296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960902715717897,0.13944777120410154,0.0,0.0,0.1784052364559287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045518111715125,0.3059449240596647,0.0,0.11093415423396877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19327432645770096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27574484102402097,0.19072541482910835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617164433850407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969100898522675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989773263061508,0.0,0.1502711044919239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234522547506536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382012045919165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325249952067924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16858632100192072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210471704599698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sharpie994,2019/02/14,"How do you guys keep yourself going? I've been battling depression and anxiety for over a year now, recently over the past couple of months it has gotten really bad (to the point where about 2 weeks ago I overdosed and had to be taken to hospital by ambulance). I have been on different medications and have just started therapy but I just feel like there is nothing in life to keep me going. I'm also finding it difficult to motivate myself to even get out of bed let alone go out and do something. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm just hating life at the min. :(",4.433673913043479,5.455837878260874,5.920597826086958,78.21828804347828,70.21739130434783,9.57608695652174,30.02717391304348,9.827888789773867,2.9356304347826088,456,18,87,11,8,155,82,115,0.17600000000000002,0.77,0.054000000000000006,-0.9193,1,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,11,6,2,0,4,0,13,3,0,2,0,18,28,7,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,3,6,0,2,4,0,0,3,1,5,0,0,5,1,7,1,18,21,0,21,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,10,60,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931497088234012,0.0,0.0,0.1861404331910456,0.0,0.1437256588445786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748878991497626,0.0,0.17823846158934992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006249334316385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19886179773989413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479649279229346,0.0,0.0,0.18777390382180792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187063711958272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087413332073743,0.12839525545109368,0.0,0.0,0.16426498402075565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389866026401984,0.0,0.3064248129919736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779555621678139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744078604671062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194948783077245,0.0,0.0,0.0987719132619602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18378053054641685,0.2538895315205945,0.0878043375901547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810535775823074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434544222778904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724505542934815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156742059526633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16989779320863152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513614975517207,0.0,0.1774563124040803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383607402367078,0.0,0.0,0.1272099625381926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055306877083149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441641943380169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157367186189926
mentalhealth,Ec0219,2019/02/14,"Getting Off My Chest I’m using this site to get some things off my chest because I don’t know what else to do or who else to talk to and my head feels like it’s aboit to explode.
I’m going to keep it short and simple.
-I have depression and bulimia (6+ yrs)
-My younger sister has bulimia
No one in my family knows about my problems, and no one besides me knows about my sister’s. She’s pretty popular and social in college (I’m not. Pretty introverted) but comes home about once every other week to feed her b/p cycle. I have told my mom exactly once about my sisters bikinis before but whether she chose to forget it or is in denial, I don’t know. But my parents are not good at expressing affection and the only way my mom knows how is by feeding us. So she’s constantly bringing home junk after junk by the bulk, which makes it very hard for me or my sister to stop. 

Every time my sisters tells my parents that she’s going to come home for the weekend, my heart drops. Because my parents are happy about it but I know the real reason why she’s coming. I’ve confronted her before about it, but obvs nothing has really changed. And I can’t help but sound angry when I bring the topic up. I’m angry because I feel guilty and partially responsible. I wonder, did my binging somehow influence her? I don’t know if she knows about my ed, but did she somehow find out and copy my behavior? I’m afraid to ask, because if it’s true, I will be absolutely crushed. And if it’s not..well now she would know (and oh god, I can’t have that happen.)

I feel lonely. I have friends, but they’re all busy with their lives and I don’t want to burden them with my problems.

I have really bad mood swings. I feel depressed asf and suicidal one moment but completely happy the next (albeit for a shorter period of time.) I don’t know why, but I always feel extremely irritated and angry around my parents. I want to scream and yell at them, but I know that’s clearly a bad thing, so i surprise my urges by not saying anything. But they take this as me being cold and distant. I hate how that makes me feel.

I feel so insecure. I feel ugly and worthless. I know it’s irrational to feel this way but I just feel so drained. I try to be happy, and sometimes even believe that I’m pretty but then I look in a mirror or a photo of myself and my stomach drops. 

I put on a front that I’m ok. But I’m not. I’m tearing up at work rn, trying to look normal, but I feel like I’m just throwing on band aids on an opening gash. I’m scared to tell my parents about my depression. What can they do about it? Being Asian, mental health is not really something they know much about. I just want to get away.
",2.1142864677516577,3.831997895117542,3.818495705244125,88.2057302968656,77.28209764918627,6.5613170584689575,23.636565702230268,7.413659706084162,0.9774677817962631,2088,67,438,27,48,699,247,553,0.192,0.7040000000000001,0.104,-0.9958,5,2,1,0,0,0,68.0,1,0,6,1,25,28,2,3,12,1,30,8,5,8,4,111,90,52,1,10,32,12,12,2,1,2,1,4,3,0,26,27,2,2,27,2,0,10,14,16,0,3,3,19,80,11,57,81,3,47,0,5,2,0,42,20,0,11,15,276,106,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05116419383725596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05060062322692945,0.05473869582773353,0.057484386539859315,0.0,0.057771413895307926,0.0,0.10268233622374674,0.1499337256693675,0.0,0.10464607938280712,0.06927761541050698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504774288915742,0.15890329126578515,0.06447057592389775,0.06644831017075775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588824612170736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273318224338797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040613238016633586,0.0,0.10361511967400464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05796683272472514,0.0,0.34200035312545657,0.08785622906860524,0.0,0.0,0.056200293435201686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047506638897714684,0.0,0.09637718515852603,0.0,0.06989180523829612,0.051574479298750274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054374966045948714,0.196370163841816,0.05508251855501555,0.06070815580475716,0.0631059716746572,0.06536046825179334,0.0,0.07286535927993637,0.041215118942132416,0.0,0.185036960666543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05465469716196298,0.0,0.0,0.43930930892186815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060081332206828576,0.0,0.0542963593018336,0.0,0.10327139505364072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208944389116292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06196695837932417,0.0,0.0,0.14403152977658826,0.0,0.0,0.04520186112065056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539478596630555,0.0,0.060246659272014634,0.05900083826223269,0.0,0.0,0.13096863167995926,0.1250006394941784,0.04676553924383146,0.0,0.0,0.3413840915882115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767079685399396,0.0,0.11767430356006488,0.0,0.06181393586592013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998851825845738,0.1181752539620202,0.06322145202430568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04889892224611591,0.0615617212622672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268080661477655,0.0,0.04733762492091542,0.0608146925560685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051407979352798144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725953812981374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04623245516630353,0.049422934798570434,0.10748907495615324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170178949989594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171004949977185,0.0,0.0,0.0587558569366496,0.0,0.08349467500030795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396430330335246,0.05310718955163378,0.0,0.050735281183836856,0.10880430925458193,0.09761501366097948,0.04932317178213865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096942805068076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668274501777605,0.044765091850228256,0.0,0.0,0.04368038000873165,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imneverrelevantman,2019/02/14,"My brother is sick So my brother is about 10 years into going to college and he still doesn't have his degree. He's a super smart guy and has a supportive network around him. My father is 75 and him and my mom have supported him this whole time. He drank a lot (which he has stopped) and is only smoking cbd weed. He is so paranoid about everything..licence plates, collecting old credit cards, thinking my parents are trying to poison him he thinks everyone is out to get him. He moved back in with my parents and refuses to get any council. I have never seen my dad cry and while driving with him today he cried. How do you deal with someone so close to the edge that is also destroying my parents lives. What do I do?",3.7123776223776233,5.195948349650352,4.580699300699301,85.37566433566434,72.4965034965035,7.158041958041958,28.384615384615394,7.686295010490155,1.7258027972027978,566,22,110,7,11,183,91,143,0.12,0.7929999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.7198,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,10,7,2,0,4,0,17,3,0,1,1,21,26,13,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,14,1,2,2,0,1,3,2,2,0,0,2,1,18,5,14,24,2,17,0,0,1,0,27,5,0,1,9,75,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244880861525956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585995461833722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385780164431608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969950894912687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419891932151642,0.0,0.16048744348170912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874797408990745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626607886515391,0.0,0.08847002645108344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413634233840234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374581848974389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234383759579801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823171286773794,0.0,0.1654510368837311,0.0,0.0,0.12006118527556572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163347960839117,0.0,0.0,0.11839294978272945,0.0,0.0,0.518554520258509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318974603866767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431710807029304,0.1301458812698334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533016599664581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19949224718083802,0.0,0.0,0.09077158551596716,0.0,0.14755558706161756,0.0,0.0,0.10568872961024037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737983809617909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024544478895137
mentalhealth,TattooQue1111111,2019/02/14,"Not over an old friend Maybe the only person I truly felt like I ever cared for. We were friends in middle school and texted morning to night. In highschool we drifted since I couldnt pay for my phone and went to a different school. Reconnected and lost touch a few times. Always me being a jackass and pushing her away when she just wanted her friend back. I love her. I'm with somebody right now but I love her. I've loved her nonstop since we became friends. We are still friendly and talk briefly and occasionally but I know she doesn't love me like I love her. I want to get past her. It's not fair to me, her, my partner. I want her out of my head but she's stuck there and I hate it. I want her out of my head and I want to stop loving her. It doesn't make any sense. I don't know how to get rid of her. We've gone years with no contact but she's dug in deep.

Help me.",-0.5022163120567349,1.6583667925531915,1.0852127659574506,101.2341666666667,91.1808510638298,3.771631205673759,16.343971631205672,5.148860815047168,-1.022607092198582,679,16,165,3,24,217,103,188,0.08800000000000001,0.615,0.297,0.9926,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,4,0,0,1,9,16,1,0,5,0,7,8,2,2,1,36,31,14,0,6,7,0,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,16,0,1,3,0,1,4,7,2,0,0,6,2,41,14,20,23,1,25,0,1,0,6,37,10,0,0,13,100,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952936976527648,0.0,0.0,0.07316968753826396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109097571140882,0.08273549426568623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970236925701443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124160223436572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732769693101256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331004694639176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41564609165032,0.0,0.11243004140017884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622981661941924,0.2208512418051015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212003838909553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182650558164806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051329729584978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745489657841855,0.0,0.5826632618486455,0.0,0.07182187018655083,0.0,0.10809570448085204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097254795277334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290501018730273,0.0,0.0,0.08183240937111749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271356452909366,0.0,0.09394959882790896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188729766999687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21778792940807284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801079270955225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592714767316054,0.08995595644489504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864824376700015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274070845299261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173176559859386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974354860540964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928897616465911
mentalhealth,ralee_,2019/02/14,"How do you make friends in a new place? I (22f)  just graduated college and moved to the DFW area to take care of my mom who was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. I don't know anyone here and am under a lot of stress trying to find a job and take care of her on top of underlying anxiety/ddepression. In desperate need of friends.

Any advice/suggestions?",4.217500000000001,5.173940194444448,5.431555555555558,81.76899999999998,70.66666666666667,9.648888888888887,28.288888888888888,9.888512548439397,2.535735555555555,282,10,59,7,5,94,55,72,0.12,0.6940000000000001,0.18600000000000005,0.644,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,3,5,0,1,5,0,4,2,0,2,0,11,11,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,14,10,2,12,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,1,3,37,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875019825636477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384259089174728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790148867673525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.431322684346303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21469094092104454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193327783315634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.326843602745986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20990349748021128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624726449531113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982891223570066,0.0,0.0,0.14119294803495794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24773266007385575,0.168835285445285,0.22481500107274224,0.0,0.15684129442091715,0.0,0.2042898018049463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22099604980819448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422983722174887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180772742706879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360993021397814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stevehotard,2019/02/14,"bi-polar had 2 major breakdowns and attempted suicide   in the hospitals i was in it was art and music therapy tha pulled me through  now as an artist myself i create to communicate to others it is my art that keeps me sane and the reaching

out to others my joy",10.319423076923076,6.467553634615384,10.661538461538463,64.93346153846157,60.73076923076921,13.476923076923079,41.384615384615394,11.20814326018867,4.566430769230768,207,8,38,4,2,71,39,52,0.08,0.7829999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,1,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,1,8,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,31,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.489715254276232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6026567436671649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6300665195371474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fairytripmother,2019/02/14,"hopeless I went to a psychiatrist for the first time in 3 years and was seeking medication management for the first time since my attempted suicide.. I was super hesitant. the lady I saw diagnosed me with new things and put me on medicines I had never heard of.. one that she gave me “for anxiety” was a blood pressure medicine, one was a bi polar medicine and the last was for alcohol/opioid dependency. I looked them up and did research before taking them.. I also learned she’s an NP (legally not allowed to diagnose anything)

now I just feel hopeless.. i’ve been buying xanax on the street to help combat this feeling of hopelessness and my self harm. i’m posting because i’m scared of getting something laced with fent and I genuinely don’t know what to do. most of the psychiatrists in my town have waiting lists that are months long.. I don’t feel like I can wait months more. the walls are closing in around me and I feel like i’m drowning..",4.556978021978021,6.250327225274724,4.975604395604396,82.54439560439563,70.7032967032967,8.057142857142857,31.68131868131868,8.634040054169528,2.5523912087912093,753,34,142,13,14,239,114,182,0.119,0.792,0.08900000000000001,-0.6775,1,0,3,0,0,4,21.0,0,0,2,4,4,9,0,2,11,0,15,6,1,2,1,25,32,8,2,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,11,0,2,6,0,1,2,4,6,0,4,12,7,22,3,21,20,2,26,0,3,2,1,8,11,0,2,14,92,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053653704312974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761161480867822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207400293161395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313161600806665,0.14205507532358028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727509201413916,0.0,0.13578608755883412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32392937687545265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32274250793141085,0.22800001076502074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714678589600002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337105399962498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069593774068066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769793403926278,0.13007445937104306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592001313005105,0.0,0.0,0.14121834991013493,0.13400233218274296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075445113910547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547415767719495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307363862979105,0.15411797981970482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162635285127928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282819443986873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041637789681007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15976184340383684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664709334110262,0.0,0.0,0.1320016183101799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284819307611305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454852752299338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998011282022222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601416133482963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860982679457006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479270962339537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276070170322528
mentalhealth,SmellyKelly82,2019/02/14,"I ate in a restaurant by myself! Yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment in the morning, and a psychiatrist appointment about an hour and a half later. I didn't really want to drive home between the appointments, so I decided to get lunch. Normally, my anxiety would be too bad and I would just get something to go and eat in my car, parked in a corner somewhere. But instead, I ordered a sandwich and salad, and sat down and ate IN THE RESTAURANT! I was fairly calm, and concentrated on my food and my phone to not be too self-aware. I realized there were other people sitting alone and that helped me feel less uncomfortable. It's just a small, silly thing, but I am so proud of myself! ",5.11761069340017,6.114337887218047,6.143258145363407,77.33931495405183,68.62406015037594,9.520133667502087,30.567251461988306,9.725611199111238,2.906370760233919,541,21,101,12,9,180,86,133,0.065,0.86,0.07400000000000001,0.6237,0,1,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,0,11,0,9,8,0,0,0,22,17,14,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,10,7,0,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,7,1,16,3,15,6,1,17,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,3,78,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256158317397948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920605524514544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650943559303364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531517748984527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530793759058459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505700501161562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990712831750847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584384532345653,0.0,0.14056280547501662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16577945659695956,0.0,0.24809121488259195,0.0,0.24356930514706365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423299675519513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17146682976240935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844533015936815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25801815183632826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19040599511549108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431443865670853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588108867652416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513909384545657,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Doom7313,2019/02/14,"It shouldn’t be like this...... I stole my grandmothers tablet because I was mad at my parents cause they took my phone. I was desperate for some online scocial  interaction. I don’t feel like I can be myself in front of people because I’m afraid that I’m....just so weird, and people won’t like me. So I’ve created my own personal hell. I never talk to anyone unless I know them personally, and then I get home and compleatly unload online. And then people online react the way I feared they would (Wtf, your fucked up, get a life), which reinforces my mentality that if people online don’t accept me when they don’t know me, then people I see every day would react worse. But anyway, back to what I wanted to say originally. So I took my grandmothers tablet, and I had it for about a month. Every night, I was on Instagram and reddit, absolutely dumping out what had pent up throughout the day. I had a few close calls and almost got caught twice. Eventually, I got caught. Originally, I said it had been given to me by some dude after school. But eventually I cracked and told the truth. I had to apologize and have to clean up my grandparents yard once spring gets here (they have a dog). I compleatly agreed with all of this. I deserved it. But, once I told my mother (they were her parents), she didn’t talk to me for a week. No “how was your day” when she got home, no “I love you”, nothing. And I don’t blame her. But that really affected me. I couldn’t concentrate in class, and I silently cried myself to sleep every night. But I couldn’t tell her that this was happening, because it would just make things worse. So eventually, we started talking again. But, ever since then, my parents have seemed angry when they get home every day, and the last two nights, they have fought. They’ve fought like I’ve never heard before. THEY ALMOST NEVER FIGHT. I know that thats gonna happen from time to time, its only natural. But this was different. They argued about trivial things, and last night, they were swearing at each other. THEY NEVER DO THAT. And it’s all my fault. I’ve done nothing but make things worse for the last two months, and I’m unraveling. My grades are slipping and I’ve become numb to my teachers directions, straight up denying their request to come to the board, and being sarcastic when I talk to them. And it’s all because I was a COMPLETE BITCH. I’ve never thought about suicide, but in the last month......it’s looked better every day. I know I sound like a bitch, so.....yeah.... ",3.1466482857827853,5.2166318969072165,3.942033085590985,86.88942459841766,75.3917525773196,6.903380484296332,22.61927595300888,7.82057824672937,1.0294377847039082,1950,55,387,29,43,622,216,485,0.128,0.79,0.08199999999999999,-0.9652,5,0,0,0,1,1,97.0,1,3,14,1,18,24,10,2,14,0,38,5,1,9,10,74,77,42,1,8,12,4,1,5,0,6,2,4,5,2,26,24,0,0,8,1,0,6,16,15,0,3,32,7,75,9,38,34,8,59,1,0,2,2,49,13,4,6,44,256,101,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383972747603765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046728581746983626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138758604023036,0.0,0.16295401885887684,0.07380768184675157,0.0568667893668483,0.0,0.0,0.05910506140755404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824015999651985,0.0,0.0,0.06865207264617677,0.0,0.05756750147676006,0.07006922157135377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340881865539768,0.21549676314234667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982236670919377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838954921052323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604509037448776,0.2815327253765454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520151210260739,0.03379088857374965,0.04774284619621197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061782586290144464,0.13966214808375224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034842447677478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819381133823982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20110563012712132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691048346930755,0.21789910928407288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04720349210580118,0.1632470362786805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056119758186572125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060316028339214976,0.0,0.08921811772658597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734818907014375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600274650706673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257714277301769,0.0,0.0,0.2508589833989258,0.0,0.1282489802471133,0.0,0.0,0.14234198997869407,0.0,0.050826673784454664,0.0,0.0,0.22261799785377384,0.0,0.0,0.23165501756808865,0.11670548743471035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04281254373514614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356994265466473,0.05314532045607867,0.0,0.06763479242078191,0.05325427840220942,0.06083886047725477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528186546560336,0.0,0.06687753659853639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04730210360771616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310037815650879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485935371171014,0.05841173048068536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319519895406126,0.0,0.0,0.053054978095235135,0.07793737337205534,0.0,0.0,0.12771646908098416,0.14849956320076754,0.0,0.0,0.1305649786751455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03941763687710143,0.05304596649621784,0.053606411958909535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20431421662134544,0.14242079497314858,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pizzafest,2019/02/14,"Medication isn't working? I've been prescribed Effexor, an SNRI, which is fast acting. They prescribed it due to depression, mood swings, and mild anxiety. I'm used to SSRIs which obviously take 4-6 weeks for a result, but with this, the first days I took it I felt crazy, like I was rolling on MDMA. The 2nd week I felt like I was a new person. I woke up with no issue, had motivation, no anxiety, I felt like I was normal. They told me that I'd eventually level out, but I knew that second week was where I wanted my emotions to be. As the weeks have worn on, I'm back to low energy, sleeping all the time, foggy brain, etc. The only thing that's different is I don't feel like crying all the time, but I also don't feel like doing anything. I don't know what to do. I'm seeing a psychiatrist in 2 weeks, but I have a huge project that I need to be working on and can't find any motivation to do it. I can't get myself to socialize. I just want to sleep. And then I get anxious for neglecting my work. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice? Is it my medication? How am I supposed to feel when it's working? Is it normal just to have no motivation ever?",2.2128750000000004,3.758531204166669,4.528333333333336,83.97000000000001,76.54166666666666,7.633333333333333,23.666666666666664,8.395991825355821,1.3991916666666664,899,28,192,17,20,314,128,240,0.118,0.732,0.151,0.879,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,2,8,8,9,0,0,11,0,26,5,3,6,4,37,49,12,0,5,6,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,16,6,0,1,12,0,0,2,9,3,0,2,14,8,26,5,22,33,3,28,0,3,1,0,5,10,0,0,21,125,42,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366059291596907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483250155325081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427669413407415,0.0,0.16230251546982907,0.1198407195709402,0.0,0.07417392064304035,0.10869196217563516,0.08729517584047143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815693219542555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842087071455075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116524398684458,0.06841311767046848,0.0,0.09136694046704902,0.0,0.0,0.11083149742141084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861660822207973,0.11932623385799525,0.0,0.0,0.11830774844859428,0.0,0.09595584478576777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091239625663895,0.1515677965235613,0.3055616173664827,0.0,0.09695561407830768,0.09023198084832863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084531887670107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072043447286033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058299043835128364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591277599587752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21372979640443746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865731325636602,0.0,0.10245316448695134,0.0,0.0,0.2078726458117037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067896621067891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262536160910054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453238836770045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212314130110832,0.10813566486563488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975930029911775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047514068046977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237127327965395,0.0,0.0,0.10136442074912473,0.11785928873275618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916194535690196,0.0,0.0,0.12513800164059266,0.0,0.4254567117110239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30891133866515913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leighabbott,2019/02/14,"Am I dysfunctional,or just a bit dim?  

Really struggling in life, and it's affecting my work. 31 years of age.

Physical things I do. I am a little clumsy, I struggle with things like keys and anything that requires me to manipulate my hands to do fine motions. My girlfriend has noted that I do things in a 'cute' but ultimately weird way. I hold things strangely, when I press buttons for lifts, I always press it right in the very corner where the seem(?) is? I drop things and break things quite often. I'm not at all co-ordinated when I'm doing tasks. I'll jump from one thing to another; my hands can be full of soap suds whilst I'm washing dishes, but I'll spot something and my attention goes straight to that. I'll polish a table with my hands still full of soap for example. I also don't tend to notice things unless they are literately thrust right in front of my face. When I am cooking, I find it impossible to keep the area tidy, even if I am just making a salad. There is lettuce all over the floor, and about 6 different utensiled used for the same job, because I always misplace the last one. My work desk is always a clusterfuck of unwashed cups, and crisp packets.

So probably, leading on to more of the cognitive problems.

I have very poor observation skills, and my brain usually feels a little bit blank. I'm usually daydreaming, but not in an adaptive way. I'm away with the fairies so to speak. I feel like the male version of a blonde bimbo, I don't usually have ideas, no real creativity and the only thing I tend to enjoy doing is listening to music. I'm pretty poor at my job, sometimes it feels borderline self-destructive. I'll say I'll do things...I don't.

I believe that if you described my job, you'd consider it an easy job. Yet I seem to go out of my way to make it as uncomfortable and dysfunctional as possible. I know I need to do stock taking, but I simply don't do it...stock shortages, have to make an emergency trip to another department to beg for an item as a favour. I don't have a good memory, and I always tend to forget or 'tune out' when someone is talking to me.

I struggle to stick to things. I can honestly say I haven't really learnt any new skills since I managed to drag myself through college in 2006 (UK Further Education College, NOT university) I don't have a degree. I was a poor student, only capable of getting C grades at a maximum. I find the process of trying to learn new things frustrating, and exhausting. I'm always trying to 'force' interest in things that I have no interest in, because I don't really have interests in anything apart from listening to music, watching films, etc. Lucked into this job because people 'like' me, but I know that if they hired someone else, the first thing they'd say to each other is let's not get someone like me.

It's like I have no self-control or something.",4.767699354959337,5.658927271758442,5.865600168271482,79.39768416378426,69.35523978685613,9.19452182855006,30.446340095353843,9.414487439383343,2.678114742451155,2246,88,436,46,38,748,258,563,0.114,0.787,0.099,-0.7278,6,0,2,0,0,0,77.0,0,2,3,8,16,22,1,3,29,0,43,11,5,7,2,67,72,32,0,5,17,0,8,5,1,0,3,6,0,1,28,18,3,4,12,2,3,7,15,7,0,3,1,16,58,15,68,67,12,59,0,0,2,0,14,31,0,9,21,279,86,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027259923757898,0.26154088231866546,0.0,0.0,0.04274991477748736,0.131837507728067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346400990302604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906312766712012,0.0,0.0,0.1149645756922012,0.0,0.0,0.07082659688543204,0.0,0.0,0.13726318037839036,0.0,0.0,0.07017740684047563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050771574910646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567986739457223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052515099158613035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011036944045618,0.04152131132359887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535831504733602,0.04491030532188711,0.0,0.0,0.11491375690088562,0.053472385330444135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656880581289012,0.0,0.03572725970629437,0.05272763551723862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096620104639041,0.0,0.0,0.31191584401899125,0.055876724117132695,0.0,0.0,0.06909720715515423,0.05124283692208633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428305866957701,0.04440295063303157,0.15356173387816205,0.12601319066001984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258873284662788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04661312013721311,0.0,0.12142956495609533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157148092358602,0.0,0.0,0.08519702313091494,0.0956223442890141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04358222601800157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087011085181784,0.0,0.0639556456881631,0.06777840351443314,0.06015269443554368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686397601977084,0.0,0.07155339484373549,0.12081754004673972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737162551013348,0.0,0.1499767666742959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144586892972455,0.1311624577845102,0.0,0.0,0.05200204124027945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597942832460099,0.09679209822452874,0.06217445113918981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050203552368310964,0.0,0.0,0.19715840872242774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04726616881491227,0.05052798453196245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5429356638554925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536153638206895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054294615711055816,0.20770860553415504,0.10373934746407756,0.0,0.14969638854263087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153199330629944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04048258132180086
mentalhealth,Muslim_Wookie,2019/02/14,"There's no way out I can't see it. I've done so much to push everyone away and I don't know why. I'm just really tired. People say all the time that things can improve but it's bullshit, there are irredeemable people and that's all there is to it. 

I don't see a way out. ",-0.2341397849462368,1.3463714999999965,2.143225806451614,98.1015053763441,84.0,6.068817204301076,16.78494623655914,7.1686216300943375,-0.27500860215053713,211,4,55,3,6,72,41,62,0.157,0.809,0.034,-0.7874,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,0,2,9,11,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,5,10,3,7,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456550620681933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26756956919636776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24984110149699515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436943773796078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220692814120507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625339483497161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750123396998576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20792753663958666,0.0,0.0,0.41670765473476906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737057899175762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246239855495727,0.3005156616894641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150776417404426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23593157841750445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thelure2112,2019/02/14,"Thoughts on Borderline Personality Disorder I have always had mixed feelings about this diagnosis. Because while, I have had a lot of run ins with it (my Grandma absolutely had it) and I have seen the toll that type of destructive can have on the people around it. I also feel like going after people who have it as ""SOBs"" or ""pieces of $hlt"" will likely result in the ""offender"" never getting better and in the end not really resolving anything. Save for maybe making the victim feel better about themselves for the next 5 minutes. What do you guys think?",6.265714285714285,7.648050725490197,6.751680672268907,72.60970588235296,66.25490196078431,9.357983193277313,30.257703081232492,9.606745405546679,2.962911484593839,442,16,73,9,7,144,75,102,0.147,0.7979999999999999,0.055,-0.8422,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,3,4,10,3,0,7,0,11,0,0,2,1,17,20,6,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,4,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,5,4,6,6,16,14,2,13,0,1,1,0,4,6,1,2,7,57,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17134751113353724,0.17828550711367933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763217026535519,0.19074112992830294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061385467849335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37899966901143545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455660639387195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897750466329541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250162155338685,0.1530708409323774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194453282981258,0.0,0.1217716434625683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21215587331415844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093579508871307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821603005295156,0.0,0.0,0.14302344115269688,0.0,0.215257825903446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652542497560257,0.0,0.2278730827984565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970885162532722,0.18708778933744746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726353986229173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372922546297829,0.0,0.17010234537150107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Josheo_O,2019/02/14,"I really feel like its time to talk about mental illness at the work place A lot of full time professionals are coming in to work everyday in  a poor mental state but employers can care none the less. Vanquis Bank is taking action by building a network of financial service professionals on their Instagram who advocate for this issue. 

If you have the time, please have a look:

​

[www.instagram.com/vanquisbankcareers/](https://www.instagram.com/vanquisbankcareers/)

​

\#TimeToTalk

​

​",18.702000000000005,17.51083066666667,14.141333333333336,38.204000000000036,42.333333333333336,15.333333333333336,49.0,13.5591,6.8178,440,18,50,10,3,127,58,75,0.05,0.833,0.117,0.7383,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,1,2,1,2,0,0,7,0,5,1,0,0,0,5,10,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,11,10,4,13,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,2,5,35,6,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4714890408122575,0.5287595870304899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091709403971672,0.0,0.0,0.09371163285099003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05500671841751365,0.07771850365621437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135468970159368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053148550606928135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135491449093848,0.0,0.0,0.09248806563344453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21926637791873735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366079517070282,0.11941706988414888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969267862953236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817953894440958,0.08744005017206276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903062925640706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839860151138482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5287595870304899,0.0
mentalhealth,yitisaid,2019/02/14,"What’s wrong with me? For as long as I can remember I’ve always been a quick tempered kid, but as I started getting older(10+) my temper started getting worse and I started getting more violent outbursts
From the same age I was suffering from anxiety as I wasn’t the most liked person in primary school. 
When I started secondary school it all went away for maybe a year, and it all slowly crept up again at 13 or 14.
I’ve caused so much damage in my temper tv’s, windows, doors, hit walls etc.
I’ve always had low self esteem and not much hope for things to ever get better, when I started enjoying life again everything started going downhill,
I’ve been kicked out of school due to violent outbursts (no damage ever done to school/property)
For the last year I just haven’t felt like me , I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t recognize who I’m looking at, it’s gotten very bad to the point where sometimes I don’t feel like I’m controlling my actions
I get very paranoid as if someone’s out to get me, I’d look out my bedroom window in the middle of the night  (which there are people I have problems with but wouldn’t come up to my house)
I know I should see a therapist but I don’t like leaving home ",4.575754048582997,5.1116681821862375,5.431434716599192,83.61775936234821,69.60728744939271,8.118319838056681,30.012398785425106,8.07648339933343,1.9947329959514173,959,36,192,12,16,314,137,247,0.217,0.7,0.083,-0.9898,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,11,19,5,0,10,0,15,1,0,2,4,33,42,17,0,5,7,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,5,3,7,10,0,1,4,1,0,4,8,12,0,0,9,6,25,7,34,30,8,42,0,4,4,0,4,18,0,4,24,121,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697188159319995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675524935517249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426711296460494,0.0,0.083774714306063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873728560797849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307067504721136,0.0,0.08642887256400167,0.0,0.0,0.11253313307174127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026765359238672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189895247814473,0.0,0.18151572752393866,0.0,0.0,0.09017374605199574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050731894340489914,0.0716786427043554,0.09633639202054972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145223004932306,0.0,0.057022134784844976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064320106705256,0.0996543191542587,0.0,0.11577198598782472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514095248345347,0.08178561629830929,0.0,0.10623923826614938,0.0,0.0,0.07086888433806941,0.19607253305133526,0.0,0.0,0.0887924488472011,0.2527659167518979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079900716731367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751409602654106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415667933961644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955897504180074,0.08760779469546963,0.0,0.0,0.0948480780919403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600610508538016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365888375924048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4061735322932733,0.07995322227716505,0.0,0.10467026309860272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501268808941022,0.0,0.09923290960957833,0.0,0.4261016073144255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649552846270045,0.06665746344856716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557214581297214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301064014575113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224893639865468,0.0,0.10969949828719763,0.0,0.1292236363800096
mentalhealth,luceario,2019/02/14,"Rejected when asking for help Hi,

I’m currently extremely vulnerable emotionally and struggling to cope. I went to a&e this morning feeling extremely unsafe and suicidal. I waited there, just wanting SOMEONE to talk to as I’m very isolated in my life and a lot of negative events have taken place over the last year. I waited for a few hours and someone finally came to see me from the community mental health team. I went in there and he sat me down and said ‘right, I’m usually brutally honest in these meetings because I’m not interested in wasting any time. What is it you want us to do?’ and I said that I wasn’t sure, that I’m really struggling at the moment and I just need someone to talk to and to support me. He responded to say that nobody has a magic wand that they can wave to make me stop being sad and I said that I know and that’s not what I’m looking for. He then said this AGAIN and then said what brought me here today? So I mentioned some brief details of what had happened and ended on a note of ‘and honestly, I just woke up feeling absolutely awful and I didn’t know what to do’ and he responded saying ‘well what you should do is just cope with things in a normal way when they go wrong instead of doing this’ (I literally hadn’t self harmed or attempted suicide, I just went there because I felt I had nowhere else to go and I felt suicidal). I responded that I know but I can’t help it at the moment which is why I’m looking for help. He said the line again about nobody having a magic wand and I just stood up, told him I don’t want his help if he’s going to be really condescending about it and walked out of the hospital where I then wandered around town for about an hour before my ex came and picked me up and brought me home where he is currently like watching my every move because unsurprisingly, I feel even worse. 

Why do people always treat people who are mentally ill in this way? I wasn’t looking for attention, I was looking for HELP. I’m not an idiot, or a crazy out-of-control person and if he had just listened to my current circumstances he would have understood why I was feeling so awful and needed someone to support me. Instead, he basically said there’s nothing they can do and I need to just stop being so ‘dramatic’ every time something stressful happens in my life.

I have been self harm free for years, coped very well by myself but recently had a series of extremely stressful events pile up on top of each other and not been able to get support as I am very isolated. I am not dramatic, I am a person with an illness who needed some help with that illness, not someone to tell me while I’m experiencing a crisis that I just need to ‘stop being like this’.

Sorry for the long post. I don’t even know what I’m looking for, I just needed to rant. ",5.408128342245991,5.611000980392157,6.346960784313726,78.94632352941177,67.71657754010695,9.380748663101604,31.473262032085557,9.247498795725024,2.629628877005348,2214,84,436,39,34,737,232,561,0.142,0.7440000000000001,0.114,-0.9593,3,1,1,0,0,1,41.0,1,2,3,3,34,24,2,4,20,2,41,6,0,2,1,90,110,42,3,14,22,1,6,2,0,2,6,10,1,4,30,33,0,5,12,1,1,13,14,11,2,0,34,24,58,14,67,70,5,72,0,2,7,0,53,25,0,7,33,293,88,1,0.05971023334264317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049683697428142236,0.0646960128800819,0.0,0.04060500622414484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053154766979556976,0.05582100788636051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919641210597923,0.0,0.05080901070809863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365851999126408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697010395797039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049880238107983366,0.06716597573278257,0.05288554380537104,0.0,0.0,0.07887609196438644,0.0,0.10061689374484813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207651522792462,0.0,0.11466237564787235,0.0654096420137176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03119613247253345,0.0,0.10180410489447443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560312429765097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634691858668394,0.0,0.0,0.2401350646312411,0.0,0.05989423251751586,0.0,0.11760510426386435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312607307504424,0.04867180959293715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435020730259403,0.05834280786166032,0.0,0.0,0.05284167753677395,0.2507077880063796,0.0,0.0,0.050763505129764436,0.0,0.0,0.03985704441377491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034774242524235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346252845730384,0.0,0.2656462886277027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058503350992849174,0.05729357928616478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279111516053662,0.1042733452474619,0.06238448516772371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057185898109260926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650380889440883,0.0,0.05895665192963609,0.0,0.0,0.050992213023445115,0.39758673790293503,0.09496794829470044,0.0,0.0,0.04758132526411498,0.0,0.12458159138878172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529614347209527,0.04596785480523044,0.0,0.06684071767828352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976128616513687,0.13679574110835568,0.12484420074263368,0.0,0.19593991174145808,0.2032753955968596,0.05627618828385561,0.0,0.0,0.09598564755475372,0.052189375776538566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03966882583709156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963503447814412,0.0,0.05659831947449628,0.057055686784730435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182405878407942,0.0,0.06576238622869539,0.1478015876075803,0.105655927992876,0.09479040788960053,0.0,0.0,0.10737334137156428,0.16605595355957886,0.16163759477715206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060849828964100384,0.04241643659632592,0.06528376669071569,0.0,0.07690286519152628
mentalhealth,DeadSeem_old,2019/02/14,"Share your experiences of impostor syndrome? Hi, would love to invite you to share your experiences of impostor syndrome? ",8.109473684210528,12.031329684210524,7.988684210526317,54.70828947368422,67.94736842105263,12.221052631578946,41.078947368421055,11.20814326018867,6.817610526315789,100,6,12,4,2,32,12,19,0.0,0.5870000000000001,0.413,0.8611,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.862366920967523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978359599972466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131291148297505,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VeryOddAnon,2019/02/14,"resisting the urge to take old misprescribed? that Concerta is just sitting there, i don't care if it causes panic attacks or not at this point i'm so fucking hopeless, bored, and sleep deprived that at this point id take a panic attack with a hint of euphoria over this, but the comedown was so shitty when i was on it idfk, at this point idfk, it could make me more paranoid, but its better than feeling isolated and numb, stuck in groundhog day. ",8.66396551724138,6.831356747126442,8.354568965517242,73.90357758620692,61.98850574712644,10.998850574712643,37.8419540229885,9.516144504307137,3.5176919540229883,355,14,65,5,4,114,65,87,0.331,0.591,0.077,-0.9721,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,3,2,4,0,5,3,1,2,0,13,13,9,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,3,1,3,2,10,9,1,13,0,2,0,1,0,9,1,2,3,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4256323354093828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544590898062322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907276765605434,0.19216974472001544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935809307131626,0.0,0.0,0.12064299405638007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458689564329684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294079228619733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486893874480215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19629576289841005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43896656415152796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5305174613175893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18720249280572807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813028003862232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rofgilead,2019/02/14,"Worried about my wife My wife suffers from depression and anxiety. 50% of the time she is the most loving, fun, selfless and caring mother anyone could ever ask for. The other half of the time she is distant, verbally abusive and impossible to talk to. She needs help, I got her to agree to seek help and the useless doctor she saw told her there is nothing wrong with her and its all in her head! He referred her to a psychologist but she did not go. I tried to talk to her about it and she snapped as she does when she is about to have a massive melt down. I can't even talk to my own wife,  I fear for her and our four children. It is getting very close to breaking point in our relationship, but my biggest fear is that I couldn't leave the children in her care as I am afraid of what she will put them through yet if I were to have them full time I would not be able to work full time and we would have to sell our house. Not sure how to handle it, I dont do it well, I find it very hard to not try to talk to her when she tells me not to, I just want to sort it out but maybe I need to be patient? Anyone else here a partner of a person with a mental illness?",3.412741935483872,3.6285081774193593,4.300967741935484,91.83395161290323,72.06451612903227,7.16774193548387,25.58064516129032,6.6274283507984215,0.6705112903225801,900,25,214,6,16,291,131,248,0.126,0.797,0.076,-0.9178,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,4,0,2,1,13,13,0,3,11,0,22,4,1,1,3,38,34,17,0,8,10,4,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,10,13,0,0,2,0,1,2,8,7,1,2,5,2,42,6,40,22,5,21,0,3,1,1,45,10,0,3,8,159,52,2,0.12003329539130388,0.14221982704898026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918251424287702,0.0,0.0,0.16786014210145994,0.1229882960069776,0.0,0.0,0.11221492788705303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447638889024324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583681917181597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338450143401932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285916407922585,0.10504194568703344,0.0,0.14067812823727147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027241596338234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928085954498583,0.10857698771728558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270141657115523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970825740115507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271244265038899,0.0,0.06821768793925577,0.0,0.09600159157464012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752625572863006,0.0,0.12318879067803655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091157541503173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850230690283324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709792837974548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833473550339316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058957879202642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096532962205807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800633519257705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517518424383495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480844363565127,0.0,0.0,0.11347026233458014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066661528690854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887083804347615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131299603706029,0.0,0.0,0.3859128642204471,0.10491439085365506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27996951929944336,0.0,0.0,0.11469695766025785,0.0,0.16298945675650275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980800792029309,0.07079874757723742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079243479760429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873856686345176,0.12189963802468258,0.0,0.17053641824498428,0.13123756536799955,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KidsPeace,2019/02/14,"Interview with State Representative Mike Schlossberg | Combating Mental Health Stigma It may be the single biggest barrier to seeking help for many suffering from a mental health condition – the stigma society associates with mental illness.  In our podcast series, host Bob Martin talks with author Michael Schlossberg and Dr. Matthew Koval as they take on the issue of stigma from personal, medical and societal perspectives. 

**#mentalhealth** **#depression** **#stigma** **#stress**",6.494142857142857,8.420859414285715,5.835000000000001,59.46250000000001,119.14285714285714,9.4,34.92857142857143,7.908726449838941,5.928057142857144,389,22,37,14,20,119,57,70,0.099,0.865,0.036000000000000004,-0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,4,0,2,5,0,0,0,7,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,11,1,1,4,0,2,0,0,7,3,0,1,0,23,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867586945011698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4609685284021147,0.0,0.0,0.14533917239914831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263182250719134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198355107582992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21843731194484398,0.6555526232683103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933097161169612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24838246547976214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630320849318804,0.1742828511849407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chomq,2019/02/14,"Ambien w/ anti-depressants? Hello! My doctor prescribed me ambien for my terrible insomnia, but i've heard zolpidem doesn't mix super well with fluoxetine. i also take mianserin for anxiety and sleep-improvement. anybody got some experience with this? ",6.449756097560978,10.27706812195122,7.754341463414633,54.0729756097561,75.09756097560975,12.06048780487805,35.02926829268293,10.793553405168565,6.388966829268293,207,11,23,9,5,70,36,41,0.259,0.741,0.0,-0.8805,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,1,4,2,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,15,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025625245102235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28943304697955885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258681714947767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3872523501544886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700942101775104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025972236949066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37861844233841135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28446850923666217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401777775865589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,exodusmae,2019/02/14,"It's valentines day, my fiance is ignoring me and I'm thinking about checking myself in... Short backstory, Valentines day is usually a pretty crappy day for me in general being the death anniversary of my boyfriend back in highschool after he killed himself.

Today I was keeping myself busy, my fiance was at work. He got the day off early, came to my house, dropped off a box of chocolates and left. (Not before asking for sex, of course....)

He refused to go out to dinner with me and has ignored my tests for the last few hours.

I have been thinking about checking myself in to the mental health ward for the last 2-3 weeks due to an incredibly large amount of deaths I've suffered in my family in the last month and a half and my feeling that I'm going to have a mental break. (I'm also currently going through exposure therapy for ptsd so that's not helping either.)

I'm not really sure what I thought I'd gain out of telling reddit, but maybe some here might be able to understand and reassure me that things get better? Maybe I just needed to type out some words to vent a bit to strangers?

Thanks for reading regardless.",6.24833098094566,6.520628582568808,6.430733944954131,78.82523994354274,65.92660550458716,9.27649964714185,32.36556104446013,9.057496981413335,2.7193199717713483,893,34,165,14,13,286,131,218,0.083,0.843,0.07400000000000001,0.43,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,3,7,8,1,0,12,0,11,3,0,0,1,34,30,9,3,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,11,1,4,5,1,2,4,3,4,0,1,6,1,19,4,38,21,6,37,0,1,0,1,9,14,0,3,17,106,25,5,0.1325707176556833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601675501276886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393572527664795,0.0,0.0,0.10193869877518176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280791643025526,0.0,0.0,0.11724802652135365,0.14473288816516458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162558375594362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419885823443267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497587411405164,0.0,0.06703173815108741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926272832050619,0.0,0.22602898181133624,0.0,0.10602891347478476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091647358175244,0.0,0.0,0.08885935757381043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055545255336792,0.15296880888939202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783494510890564,0.1466698571000916,0.0,0.0,0.3241884866020933,0.0,0.0,0.14403847262958466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26637020920136634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672002048627305,0.1406365814558876,0.0,0.0,0.10581668203434416,0.0,0.0,0.09829950734422517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487207988913927,0.0,0.0,0.15496807460809667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260659317464008,0.0,0.08492819639746584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494633248048262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587265052197801,0.12205330537971305,0.15160616929188106,0.0,0.0880740940937804,0.16989192580559775,0.0,0.10524634152575182,0.0,0.0,0.125661539250442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801079243703399,0.0,0.0,0.14600791604781976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063402331609715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651306136296432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uoc_cancer_research,2019/02/14,"Have you received breast cancer diagnosis or undergo treatment? We need your help in our research. Hello,

We are currently looking for people to take part in our research study at the University of Chester, UK, on daily functioning and psychological wellbeing in cancer patients.

Receiving a cancer diagnosis and all that comes after this can often be a distressing, worrying and confusing time. Our aim is to investigate how cancer has affected your daily functioning and emotional wellbeing. We are particularly interested in how this then affects decisions you make about your treatment. Our goal is to help others that might find themselves in your position in the future. To do this, we need your help.

Anyone who is over 16 years of age and been diagnosed with any type of cancer can take part. If you decide to take part, you will be asked to complete an online questionnaire that will take around 30 minutes to complete. You will be also asked whether you would like to participate in a phone or Skype interview at a later date, but you don’t have to agree to this to take part in the questionnaire study. While we hope that taking part will be a positive experience for you, we also understand that answering questions about your illness may be upsetting. You can always stop the questionnaire at any time. All your answers and data will be anonymous.

If you would like to take part, please click the following link. This will take you to the survey and study information sheet.

Link: [https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/reddit](https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/reddit)

Thank you,

David Budzynski, BSc (Hons)

MRes student conducting the research",8.905331807780321,10.96513886956522,7.732509534706335,65.49731121281468,60.66666666666666,11.317772692601068,35.540808543096865,11.20814326018867,4.621336231884059,1352,58,196,38,19,413,144,276,0.099,0.7959999999999999,0.105,0.4111,1,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,10,19,0,1,8,8,0,3,13,0,30,8,1,5,2,49,49,19,0,7,6,0,0,2,0,10,7,0,0,0,12,16,0,1,10,0,0,4,1,3,0,0,1,2,29,5,36,32,8,30,0,0,2,1,42,14,0,10,14,148,41,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701462766065795,0.07648368299082649,0.0,0.0,0.12501567253039905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642716595986665,0.0,0.0,0.08182708931829395,0.17186306544852745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917978077943462,0.19274991830747326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329549822148137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339611304383092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991408072874786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401198386437678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184833407223777,0.0,0.0,0.09129596291464896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981362201836393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771885184629998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06135641483412916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751116536114926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631303344171228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5972336646635183,0.0,0.06372482055661957,0.0,0.0,0.10089907866384422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029699282619044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076848109999054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5528911028794277,0.0,0.0,0.08462634629304551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719701185252133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569055976500687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334785425818988,0.0,0.1305927480508444,0.0,0.0,0.059192599050240324
mentalhealth,secksy_vecksy,2019/02/14,"late night thoughts Always hear people complaining, “nowone would miss me if I died” or some bullshit. I envy people that’s true for. Only reason I’m still here is because I don’t want to ruin the lives of my family and friends. Bullshit. Life’s a bitch. Feel like I have to go live a full life like I have no choice but I don’t want to.",0.4544014084507033,2.6457111126760613,1.9980105633802843,96.54518485915493,85.76056338028171,4.676760563380283,17.325704225352112,5.985473137389443,-0.4672971830985917,263,6,59,2,8,85,53,71,0.251,0.607,0.142,-0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,0,3,0,6,2,0,1,1,12,14,4,1,4,3,0,1,2,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,2,8,4,5,12,2,5,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,3,5,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818753279830218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324379554660418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22685060506271695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060569301156368,0.0,0.11052016464492403,0.1561529585321915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887367674307593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422354431571687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463545407239058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465667546221595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087777764684934,0.21357342276381103,0.0,0.3860187140919725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20512168603821213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662392612952952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30307046382127034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22473572747100973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17455755811388354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173527396342971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578472423454037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552723270844596,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mechanical_mind_le,2019/02/14,"I am a bad person, why I was sitting down and talking to my girlfriend, when she realized the thing I had been saying all this time was true. I am a bad person. The conversation was mostly about my mental health, as she believes that therapy would benefit me. And that at work, she's noticed I'm someone different than I am with her. I'm rougher and mean and hateful towards others. I mean I work a service job so I'm nice to customers but other employees I care nothing about. She asked me why. I told her, ""because if they can't keep up they need to get out of my way. Because I don't care who I have to step on, who I have to destroy, to get ahead. That I be the best I can be and be better than anyone, and if they can't handle that, to get out.""

That was her aha moment. But it's more than that. I genuinely don't like anyone, or rather I reserve my like for certain people. And that's not many. I don't have what you'd call normal morals. Andrew Ryan from Bioshock had the best idea, to create a place free of all those moral constraints that prevent progress. That maybe Comstock had the right idea about cleansing the world. I am not a good person. 

When someone shows me a picture of something tragic that has happened? I feel nothing. A natural disaster occurs, I think of how I can benefit from it. All that matters to me is profit, and how best to get it, even if it means watching others suffer for it. I feel nothing.

But yet for her? I actually care about her. I never speak or do anything without reason. And yet I love her and don't know why. It pisses me off to no end.

This world is full of monsters, they just try to hide it. I however embrace it. I recognize it as a human's true nature and don't hide from it.

What I don't understand? Is why.

**tl;dr** I'm a bad guy and don't know why. 
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mentalhealth,lhn4426,2019/02/14,"How to not feel so alone I have been dealing with depression and anxiety and it’s been very bad in the last 6 months to 2 years. 
I feel like I have lost friends because of it. I feel like they only want to talk to me when I’m happy and don’t welcome talks about the sad stuff. 
I don’t have a family (I had a horrible upbringing and have horrible parents) so I don’t have people that are there through thick and thin. 

I’m also recently single. I just feel so alone and that all my worries are so heavy. 

How do I create good relationships with people while I feel so hopeless? ",2.977666666666668,4.127588766666669,4.359999999999999,87.55166666666668,73.83333333333334,8.0,25.833333333333336,8.515128840125781,1.5678333333333336,452,15,99,8,9,150,71,120,0.245,0.6,0.154,-0.9245,1,2,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,1,1,12,11,0,0,4,0,14,0,0,2,1,19,23,16,0,1,2,1,7,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,7,13,6,10,19,2,9,0,4,0,0,8,3,0,0,8,67,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34608493696153225,0.0,0.13361225373836055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781424856201234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950319030271158,0.10184922662487664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17225012997640846,0.14390407696887292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750631304729992,0.0,0.4223984032187991,0.2387211801712364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908408457612455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401371387713502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785768772347169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619090782935514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325178854961214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238542486481327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333601030141071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270703834888477,0.0,0.0,0.18552039872320247,0.0,0.0,0.2316617612580891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496941486312847,0.1793792951517701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19126439062236805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685820105806665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785688651703173,0.09854696090164708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16967586678334953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759278433149017
mentalhealth,Yo_Mama_Bin_Fartin,2019/02/14,I need help I want to become a serial killer and I have my first victim in my sight ,-0.5668421052631594,1.2000252105263165,2.399210526315791,94.78197368421051,86.36842105263158,5.905263157894738,9.5,7.1686216300943375,-1.021863157894737,65,0,16,1,2,23,16,19,0.299,0.514,0.187,-0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,5,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,11,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6088652159250343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4689337110705828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36952336069046976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40878040647416736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3251697843357649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mukino,2019/02/14,What are mood swings and what is just normal emotions? My mood is mostly depressed but sometimes I'll have a string of really happy days maybe 2-4 in a row followed by another immediate decline. Also I seem to quick to anger lately but only certain people seem to trigger it. One it particular it seems like anything they do gets me extremely irritated. How much of this is normal? I'm already being treated for anxiety and depression but I'm not sure if I was diagnosed right. The meds don't seem to be doing anything. ,2.756154545454545,5.463573870000005,4.711454545454547,77.4757272727273,80.3,7.236363636363637,28.09090909090909,8.296473431620573,2.5617999999999994,417,19,70,9,11,142,76,100,0.187,0.713,0.099,-0.8794,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,4,10,1,0,3,0,11,1,0,2,2,19,19,8,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,0,5,5,9,16,2,6,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,6,4,48,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17613079254080471,0.12763802196656093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673623302018672,0.12209926417036265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626866676684467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293360276005624,0.0,0.2749393296396027,0.1619982044080822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953690129947772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338830628962318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699051008975875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004415824353656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797613912635222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160347138568741,0.0,0.17728789861807367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173298421340032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312762830832078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815414037455097,0.12138865968692455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065171099566164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224862094726958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630389221255393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5812025206711451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578558515098761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15042813494776625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Glowiing,2019/02/14,"desperate for motivation i didn’t go to school today because i was sad and today just really hurt me. i’m trying to do homework and a review guide for a test tomorrow. it’s a 4 page review packet for apush and i literally cant bring myself to do one more question.. 
i’m not even tired at this point. i slept for more than 12 hours today in total.(technically yesterday since its 1 am right now but) i’m just sitting here with no tears left, i just don’t know what to do. 
i already have 10 missing assignments for the semester already and it just began a week ago or something. 
i don’t know whether to give up and go to sleep or try to study / do the review for this ap exam style test. i’m failing history. i’m also failing aplang, french 2, science, and have a c in geometry. i’m really good at french, science, and lang sometimes. i just don’t have the motivation anymore
any suggestions because i’m about ready to call today quits",2.520252100840338,4.497324455026458,4.416781823840648,83.19820728291319,76.93650793650794,7.410021786492376,25.932461873638342,8.313332769828598,1.7953520697167755,738,28,147,14,17,251,109,189,0.121,0.8079999999999999,0.071,-0.8440000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,5,10,6,0,0,8,0,14,3,2,2,0,23,30,12,0,0,10,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,8,0,0,5,0,0,3,7,5,0,1,4,0,10,1,22,26,3,23,0,5,0,0,4,8,0,3,11,85,16,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297116387426866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229549054230301,0.11701907632943705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995085914850468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511883479428084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784013380666265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941804980953546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664878229416417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403719039939215,0.16632404108866275,0.12273364215968917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441043773290996,0.0,0.1566479905616177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083694658452885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898665282659155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915617159242657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832799926965644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639217278804285,0.15563867459032174,0.0,0.0,0.18748393299831706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249639826837718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809254232846708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210446828982349,0.0,0.14643446168837754,0.0,0.0,0.11265104750895664,0.14472290977465846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681834122822886,0.5548103128208723,0.0,0.0,0.19869527919743166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173761247423117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonaskingquestions,2019/02/14,"Not to be that person who always self-diagnoses but... Yesterday I had read something about the behavior of a person with BPD on Facebook. I looked further into BPD (I was unfamiliar with it) and felt very related to said symptoms/behavior and such, so related that it pretty much sums up the way I act and things I struggle with personally (the symptoms of said mental illness). And now I’m wondering if it’s the typical “if google says so then it might be true”  and it’s a possibility that I do have it or if I actually don’t. I know that I have to consult a doctor but I don’t know when I can or if I can (I’m 18 so I can’t go by myself and growing up being Hispanic mental health isn’t really taken seriously).

Sharing this here because I’m highly curious, I don’t mean to offend anyone. If it’s not the right subreddit to do so, I apologize. 

",3.2361007957559704,4.426704183908047,5.97367816091954,76.07375331564987,73.2528735632184,9.491777188328914,29.47656940760389,9.851270322608157,2.989861715296198,664,28,131,18,13,241,96,174,0.028,0.87,0.101,0.8856,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,9,5,1,1,8,0,17,4,0,0,1,28,30,21,0,5,11,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,3,14,10,0,0,5,1,0,3,7,3,0,0,6,5,16,2,16,20,1,15,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,9,4,98,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.14452896223894685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323509368089353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355834972824413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028333754051808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730657298217841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503232979079849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151591582394181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220387507467874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417139526780168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742852225244422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648089798874212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278909670570138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437076683425505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613295922836364,0.0,0.0,0.29850969391939924,0.1571158334471894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887410065470243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38795830831359707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696595714925025,0.0,0.1506758698282545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814492212156752,0.0,0.09487975476949294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648072656083936,0.281763242431861,0.11777891552562406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450565155618873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140183437721274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483133875338487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393764005028152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839427661991984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220200614328565,0.0,0.11755873053953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061338433873576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NumbHead365,2019/02/14,"I think I have ADHD. I was always labeled as the ""Restless kid"". Even my first teacher used to call me hyperactive.  I always tend to mess things up, I cant multi-task.  One thing always interfere with the other, like two lines intersecting. It is hard for me. I cant sleep at night. I might be having insomnia too. Some songs are played again and again in loop in my head when I cry. I cant stay serious at all. I bite my nails too much, fidget a lot, and tend to interrupt people during crucial conversations. I cant help it. My teachers often complain that I *""have got a good caliber and a great potential but I don't  use it.""* I try. But I still get quite low marks for the tests. I told my parents that I want my Melatonin checked up and that I wanted to get my mental health checked up. But my parents think that this is just my excuse to get away with my low marks. I just want to know what my problem exactly is. I just want a little help. But I don't have enough money to consult a therapist. My parents never give me any money because I am very forgetful and irresponsible. 

I dont know if I am alright. Not knowing about myself is frustrating. And my frustration is turning into toxic thoughts. I only need a little help to make it through. My parents wont help me out. But I hope you will.",1.0053485424588082,3.359923787072248,2.949152091254753,89.53303105196453,84.89353612167301,5.63594423320659,22.45487959442332,7.03164865440522,0.8100262103929023,1008,36,208,14,30,337,145,263,0.174,0.745,0.081,-0.978,5,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,2,12,15,2,1,9,1,24,4,2,3,3,45,48,14,0,8,10,4,1,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,13,10,0,1,6,2,4,0,10,9,0,3,4,2,46,6,25,40,5,23,0,2,0,0,17,15,0,6,8,150,59,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271167265008995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640309547943185,0.0,0.0,0.07192821198741639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937575757970082,0.0,0.0,0.06447729322559717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800447480016458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618496945172888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396334981100984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929018071478587,0.0,0.06986104413129939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996913999806247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657836487416399,0.10146561132934218,0.0,0.08871607264762077,0.08459508971223165,0.11661339529603842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475044216023897,0.0,0.10855202114901907,0.11243010358127097,0.0,0.0,0.28358548925488825,0.0,0.0,0.10505491417523494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438766567828254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167458697887426,0.2120215569594022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899231030292717,0.0,0.0,0.0706032631533293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659274230356462,0.11220679185693726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777541848121862,0.07842818878296333,0.08157746162934272,0.0,0.0,0.09925933919368717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167347084027857,0.0804439527722279,0.0,0.0,0.4697867050817232,0.0,0.0,0.07332860447144404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120899139786238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125009550663314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584783530141303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273829068343848,0.08446921534381294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280880395663843,0.1405397008611006,0.1355481465753794,0.0,0.08397071526506293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106915170719576,0.0,0.0718118704612525,0.11504896285183255,0.10332333591995488,0.0,0.0,0.18270514217243392,0.0,0.08727252223391434,0.2495469629023176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Revenantzzz,2019/02/14,"I would like to know what you think of my current “situation”. I am in second year of high school!

So, I have been watching a YouTuber by the name of David Dobrik. Not to the point of obsession. But to the point of I enjoy his content to come back for every video.

I admire him. I think I am now subconsciously and semi-consciously trying to act like him. I try to be more “witty”, I also basically changed my mental attitude. I went from normally “stoic” and unfriendly, to “funny” and sociable. 

The thing is I feel mixed emotions. I recently have gotten confessed to by multiple girls within the timeframe of me starting to act more like David. I have also gained a large friend group of people I talk to every day. I am really into this one girl that had confessed to me. Normally this would be a great thing. But I am concerned that if I were to change “idols” and act differently my personal relationships would fall apart. I don’t want that. I feel like a “fake” person. I don’t like this feeling. Now I feel as though I am trapped in this persona. I also feel as though I don’t know or remember how I acted before I took on this persona. I also don’t want the group of friends to fall apart. I am at its core, I keep them together. If they don’t have me they will fall apart. I am there for the “comical relief”, because I’m “close” to every single one of them. This is stressful in its own way. Maybe it’s best I don’t act as the glue.

I don’t like this feeling. I also don’t know how deal with this. I’ve been thinking that just cutting of my current “friend” group and just trying to change into what I feel is me. 

So basically, is this normal? How do I deal with this “dreadful” feeling? What do you think the best course of action would be right for me to take.

Thank you for reading about my problems, I feel as though I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. So reddit time!",2.234122278832793,4.106006475065623,3.7393492357572953,88.21221051412694,77.4251968503937,6.58209047398487,23.016905974988425,7.5105763829236425,0.9285447892542846,1461,45,305,20,34,483,165,381,0.058,0.77,0.172,0.9902,3,1,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,3,4,3,22,22,1,3,13,0,39,0,0,3,0,53,66,28,0,12,8,0,9,6,3,5,0,0,0,4,23,11,0,1,19,3,0,12,10,6,0,3,7,10,57,16,52,51,6,39,2,0,1,0,28,16,0,3,16,224,80,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32002757966179896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596369283656688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615434702542356,0.0,0.04878977874441364,0.0,0.06810554512353624,0.0,0.1679876716034062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540054256012313,0.06894474108925792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516172081792368,0.1650291515948099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362157244131825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003079035164598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023037341692686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36422175771346776,0.05717840943975864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18550903530442756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824101432455668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456342663641055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114051411636227,0.0,0.0,0.1319586353358335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346120507807545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804078688641745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065841558445866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352576376941628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847021049429256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548754001320346,0.1397703462626392,0.0,0.0,0.151321566343935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658454705860111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005860404945543,0.0,0.051273716375962224,0.0,0.0790268273750593,0.08592972584875858,0.09066625631928853,0.06835111364338496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100166122302505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899648795015386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665056155907339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168204998407596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017782185574869,0.12866132915495132,0.0,0.07368726557549793,0.0,0.0,0.10634597959669034,0.2051377702066016,0.2359076760290896,0.0,0.0466701862202792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892399074222447,0.1630194955037004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441572759377967,0.0635296014607758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419504979249085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274237971833003,0.0,0.0,0.05154116841125477
mentalhealth,SucculentCatus,2019/02/14,"17 year old brother acts like hes 10 My younger brother hasnt grown up. He acts and thinks like a child. Most of his friends are under 10. We grew up in a rough home. I dont know what to do. My parents dont give a shit, to get him help, and i dont live at home anymore. Im worried for him. I have no idea how i can help him.",-2.2270274170274185,-0.6268023896103863,0.466147186147186,106.95890331890331,92.37662337662336,3.4222222222222225,17.646464646464647,3.1291,-1.280615007215007,244,7,71,0,9,83,52,77,0.057,0.726,0.21600000000000005,0.906,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,3,0,9,1,1,1,0,8,13,3,0,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,1,12,3,9,13,1,11,0,0,0,0,15,5,1,1,4,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904828365770933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6347785634905659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394856257169233,0.0,0.09432528651849448,0.17319149867420866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24202582157069044,0.0,0.3621949386190186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20380895515876715,0.19501539656281644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922068102162533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640654887877086,0.0,0.15942112149153698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944754093586816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20046955427644791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532287088969374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568346329527535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833482766295602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626256555472918
mentalhealth,bambola21,2019/02/14,"I need help There is something wrong with me. Beyond my diagnosed ptsd, anxiety and depression. 
I feel lost and hopeless. I don’t know what to do. Annoyance turns to frustration which turns into fury lately. I feel so out of control so lost. I need help I need something beyond my regular meds and therapy. They aren’t helping. Something else is going on and I can’t pinpoint it. Please help me ",1.3514000000000017,4.0038093733333335,2.738166666666668,86.56325000000002,95.26666666666668,6.2333333333333325,24.91666666666667,7.492282038375204,1.9554666666666671,313,14,56,7,12,101,48,75,0.284,0.574,0.142,-0.9118,1,0,3,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,1,3,5,7,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,0,14,17,6,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,2,2,12,0,9,15,0,7,0,4,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,37,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019111185974872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621573115301425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353213057748261,0.15946651635773262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124785701095862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588822351242578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929101055607623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4212384679988673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634526555082092,0.0,0.17723045024210593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430150745811252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451726510369026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34949217794251386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246303288965475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18365683738605035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628600822744536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967255288403944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34178793127885104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717785399743003,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heyheyhey1236,2019/02/14,"Worried I have ptsd stemming from a traumatic time as a teen would appreciate if anyone gave input I know I need to see a therapist but I’m wondering if these symptoms match up or if my anxiety has just gotten worse. I am currently 20 years old and know for a fact I suffer from anxiety but when I was 17 I went through a very traumatic event.

My parents have been divorced since I was a child and around when I was 15 my mom began dating someone new. We all liked him 
 and my mom and him were even talking about marriage. About two years later when I was 17 he killed himself. It was very unexpected and I even told my mom not to worry when she went to his house to check on him. Sadly she was the one that found him. 
I’ll never understand the pain and trauma she has endeared but soon after she began to mentally lose it and slip into psychosis. She began wearing all his clothes and signing her name as his, started to have a jesus complex, and would spend hours a day driving around taking pictures of random stuff. As well as pouring coffee grounds all over our floor to see footprints because he was coming “back”. I didn’t realize she had gotten so bad until I came back from school one day and she wouldn’t let me in the house she kept us all outside and then took us to a weird barn nearby. I was terrified she was going to kill me and my sister. She got help and would occasionally slip back into it. I was always worried she would one day crack and kill us. 

She’s Better now and on the right medication but I still have lasting impacts from this. I can’t help but think about it and I keep wishing something else traumatic would happen to me so I could at least explain to people why I act sometimes because I can’t tell people  I get intrusive thoughts and bouts of panic and still get uncomfortable brining people over. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to talk to anyone because I feel so ashamed of all this. 


Tl;dr
Worried I have ptsd stemming from a time when I was a teen but am ashamed to talk to someone about it  ",3.288974870657796,4.921292880487805,4.250088691796012,86.72049150036959,73.85365853658539,6.7257945306725775,26.57058388765705,7.348242739294969,1.3105040650406503,1611,58,323,18,33,521,202,410,0.21,0.725,0.065,-0.9973,2,0,1,0,1,1,20.0,5,0,0,2,25,16,3,3,15,0,37,4,1,0,7,71,74,42,3,13,12,5,1,1,0,6,3,0,0,1,11,25,0,2,12,0,2,8,8,13,1,4,30,3,62,3,47,36,6,57,1,3,2,0,46,14,0,6,36,232,73,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062381645930179364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470479323512628,0.0,0.0,0.10484254302737787,0.0,0.0,0.13347967340859393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294357112102085,0.06259742078579518,0.13710436761863706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630551058996456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574653277945174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645806380689636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059858020563064676,0.0,0.0,0.14504973926458115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262841764274077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903490875241414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03790744932522337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220152630831383,0.0,0.0,0.07833821519049207,0.0,0.042607588635762604,0.0,0.05996093455751592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629636128213483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050258839204744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383105881341542,0.1730122933182611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663742181932147,0.24883198596287384,0.0,0.12360584337629192,0.061111144097095865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666264198704796,0.0,0.03662690752698541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838730604062923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552511442533359,0.07555285380406733,0.0,0.0,0.2634144081860636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055589839919512635,0.05782204209209588,0.07240718983769989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866916060855912,0.0,0.1524063031028115,0.0,0.07977413332955872,0.08796198814259693,0.08324611385607199,0.0,0.0,0.15592577543908495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17527352258099127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402458638722483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587437248704137,0.11948391682433222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062016555414560214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704489779630876,0.057716124021911425,0.07414796039692365,0.0,0.053064662433261134,0.0,0.11974342980388747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582353934090893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792328524381117,0.056368652222702875,0.18077587790642186,0.06552771491529556,0.0,0.0,0.08704678583804461,0.0,0.04803821104656697,0.0,0.059518378429336126,0.08743206101828653,0.0,0.0,0.07163773703549328,0.08329522993402368,0.0,0.0,0.0732355010726451,0.07804716489446896,0.27054164059450303,0.0,0.0,0.12371739334134088,0.044219673867930194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740768210204898,0.1389972195545497,0.06764941505529394,0.0,0.08621262961759539,0.0,0.08130254925119787,0.0,0.304545626725367,0.07640156996850984,0.2662852471073472,0.0,0.0,0.09655737305647397
mentalhealth,OGkureator,2019/02/14,"A shoutout to everyone experience SAD rn Today was a good day. Today was the first day in 4 months that I felt like myself. I had forgotten that at my core I’m a genuinely happy and bubbly person who ABSOLUTELY LOVES LIFE.

So this is a reminder to everyone who’s been living as a shell of themselves for the past few months. Remember that this is temporary. Remember that soon things will begin to warm up and you’ll get to be the best version of yourself again. Just hang in there",3.5458157894736813,5.4746122526315775,4.8159868421052625,81.68503289473686,73.84210526315789,8.539473684210527,26.61184210526316,9.188382445141503,2.3078684210526315,384,14,74,9,8,127,69,95,0.056,0.742,0.202,0.9425,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,5,7,0,0,8,0,9,2,0,0,0,6,14,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,5,2,5,6,12,6,3,16,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,12,52,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025222472605769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24891428991183434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688043122756871,0.0,0.18877300158357496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18529256669129868,0.0,0.0,0.16415002126043407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008249030951375,0.0,0.0,0.161863781420638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054324652412392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630858704723506,0.09428104516047428,0.0,0.17040625816228805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17417339761201628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080720892943236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842227408480799,0.0,0.16850405958555306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43722098902199386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282083772545871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.365847919218064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CertainStar,2019/02/14,"How do I deal with feeling shameful socially Sorry as this may be very long. So I am a university student (20f), and not until this year did I feel really shameful of myself socially.

I have been diagnosed with OCD, depression and GAD but not SAD or any mental health disorders related to social ability.

I used to be very confident in myself until my boyfriend and I split up after 3 years, I think it may have caused me to either lose confidence or I just didn't know how to handle people because I spent my time primarily with him.

I tried to get a little more involved in school activities like a leadership position for orientation for freshman. This other student who was running training gave me the wrong date and time so I sat their waiting until she came and ""apologized"", I genuinely believe it was on purpose. Later I tried to still help students by offering an invite to a party I knew was happening and also showed them a website to getting free/cheaper books, this was in a group chat run by students. Someone who is on our student council later reprimanded me for my actions and said they were innapropriate. This has still stuck with me and I'm constantly self-conscious for it, and it is brought up again later.

I recognized my failures in being social so I tried my hand at just casual sports my school hosts, and I still enjoy it and still attend. However, that same student council member, I made a comment too, by accident, had taken offense but I did not realize the offense, there was also someone else there who witnessed it and was upset by my actions and now I still constantly feel guilty. This student council member had in a way reported me to a student manager and we had to all have a ""mediated discussion"", in which I had to apologize, I didn't mind I genuinely felt bad about my actions. However, I still feel the guilt, I had also apologized to the other student as well, but feel like this is situation really screwed me up, I had even told the student manager I think it will negatively effect my health to have the mediation, but I was told I had to go.

There has been other instances, like my sister and grandmother had been in the hospital and this caused a lot of anxiousness so I had missed work days (this was a job for the uni), I had ended up getting fired despite it being a position for students who are in financial need.

I still, unfortunately talk to my ex (I have a post about it if anyone wants to check it). He had later told me about this girl I know and he knows as well, who had told him I made my entire university hate him and how I was a bitch and weird, because I invited everyone to a party no one wanted to go to. I felt terrible because I already felt like I was a terrible awkward person for it and now it really is confirmed that I'm creepy. It is also stung because I had given her a free textbook of mine because she was low on funds.

My question is, how do I cope with my awkwardness or embrace it at least. I constantly feel anxious, embarassed and guilty.  I also want to know straight up, based on what I've said, am I a bad person?  

I cannot go on medication due to other health reasons and therapy made me anxious. I don't feel suicidal or anything like that, I just want to know if its my personality thats a problem or is my self-consciousness making myself feel bad? Also if anyone •may• have an idea on what might have caused this change in me.

Thank you for anyone who takes the time to read this. I may delete this a little later just in case someone from my university saw this.",5.592213438735179,6.257951057971018,6.669677206851122,75.17534584980241,67.40579710144928,9.866930171277998,33.21805006587616,9.910423181423305,3.3194927536231886,2810,121,515,62,44,944,285,690,0.155,0.728,0.118,-0.9833,4,0,0,0,0,0,68.0,2,1,3,3,38,35,5,6,32,0,64,7,1,14,1,100,122,54,1,9,20,2,13,5,0,5,5,2,0,4,46,29,0,1,24,6,4,11,9,24,2,1,54,16,91,12,77,59,6,72,0,5,1,1,50,27,2,14,37,391,137,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640878614057703,0.2786581861319177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03949339497676089,0.0,0.0,0.1968266697842197,0.0,0.12182341559094564,0.0,0.04779126496798915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547208389094238,0.1770117133480551,0.0,0.0,0.06543130624272546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642300728083897,0.0,0.17897889609489054,0.061436277218240076,0.0,0.0,0.18827725404510895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037453953238499184,0.05987338665584329,0.05002042345564338,0.058945504771311164,0.0,0.0,0.0665596614155943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04851470614877254,0.0,0.05143773796109782,0.0,0.0,0.03835838168546463,0.0,0.0,0.055493718223341364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349181198035092,0.0414892154951908,0.16728503126330413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102630163513048,0.0,0.09901709416466788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05135605540416266,0.0,0.0,0.05733762500852061,0.0,0.18519491999009013,0.0,0.0,0.03892684604331832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556027590963183,0.0,0.0,0.0576310651914511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958413649321698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418640070028919,0.1164140030903366,0.0,0.05139507258475732,0.0,0.06497173380016197,0.0,0.049373792665557865,0.0,0.16485759191815907,0.03876590952727196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850505044050373,0.058526538574144485,0.061609026937253564,0.058639793795509286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0430623165978242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0393535250639302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04026230403158165,0.15212810410643748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562036485508283,0.0,0.0,0.05557049955829087,0.0,0.0,0.06505795577890082,0.0,0.05809130943300389,0.0,0.11161413663681144,0.059711382442946125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110486376910875,0.0,0.0,0.11755120196168617,0.0,0.0,0.12117101936620155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527940020036282,0.0,0.23680301516443225,0.14762178535584894,0.0,0.0,0.06501087203944172,0.0,0.0,0.3246547070951417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352527307758134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04366561860442858,0.04667896207248872,0.0,0.05346820365708467,0.06641450233691172,0.0,0.0,0.07442499046140437,0.0,0.0,0.1015930365464546,0.0,0.0,0.22197487289336545,0.0,0.11828854711315773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015866615288268,0.0,0.09583689336821308,0.13701795858454688,0.04609770280697828,0.0,0.0,0.10443386604482847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042279723637713235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349654447175104,0.0,0.07479755607197933
mentalhealth,roseadams,2019/02/15,"Raising money for ESA for friend suffering panic attacks Hi all! I created a gofundme to raise money to help my friend adopt an emotional support animal. He’s been struggling with depression and panic attacks for as long as I’ve known him, and the addition of an ESA would get him up and outside, create responsibility and routine, and help calm him during an attack. If would be amazing if you or anyone you know would consider contributing to the campaign. He is a student and currently doesn't have the funds necessary to get an ESA. You can check out the campaign here: https://www.gofundme.com/qt6vap-emotional-support-dog?utm_source=internal&utm_medium=email&utm_content=campaign_title&utm_campaign=donation_receiptv5 Thank you :))",13.621861074705107,16.337498944954127,10.94340760157274,44.33825688073396,50.37614678899082,10.632241153342072,36.672346002621225,10.608840637214634,4.285607077326343,631,23,77,12,7,189,72,109,0.179,0.6,0.22,0.4003,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,4,0,0,1,14,3,3,10,0,9,0,0,0,1,18,14,11,0,5,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,2,0,4,0,1,8,0,0,1,0,9,6,13,9,1,4,0,2,0,0,14,2,0,3,2,52,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4681401435978466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070284553875616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915341039305661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404509311946794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200426231683468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22254056492020255,0.0,0.15049007695377847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930685071697782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079150185880554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745407024215752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379552708061541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15056203997028791,0.0,0.0,0.326866692563198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259520498572386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30692520041256416,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dylansayshello,2019/02/15,"I just got out of my 6th hospitalization And honestly, I can never really tell whether or not the meds are working. I know I'm supposed to be on them, so I take them as prescribed. I've been medicated on/off (mostly on) for the last 13 years. They adjusted my meds again, and I'm still not sure what it's supposed to feel like when they're working? They've added some, taken away some, changed doses and frequency, and every time they ask I say ""yep. It's working fine"" because I never have any serious side effects. But it's all fine...until it's not. And then it's back to the hospital. It's very frustrating, especially considering how much I spend on them every month. I'm currently on a cocktail of lithium, wellbutrin, lamictal, trazadone, and hydroxyzine. I've been on lexapro, seroquel, resperidone, ativan, xanax, & klonopin. And still, I've been hospitalized 6 times. I know meds aren't the only thing to rely on—I see a therapist every week, I've got friends around me, I exercise daily, I make time for art, I stay away from alcohol/drugs 99% of the time, I get a decent amount of sleep, I have a daily routine that I stick to for the most part, I go in & out of eating healthily, & I take my meds when I'm supposed to. Every time I get out of the hospital, I intend for it to be the last time I'm in there, but so far, that hasn't been the case over the last 12 years. Wow, did this turn into a rant. I guess I just needed to vent to strangers who may also get it.

TL;DR I do everything everyone says I should do to stay stable, & yet, here I am again. Also: how do you know if the meds are working? Because I sure as shit can't tell.",3.2135905044510413,4.3547067744807135,4.653550148367955,85.70828961424336,73.2433234421365,8.003275964391692,26.83311572700297,8.488131031819089,1.7152654955489608,1281,45,274,22,25,428,170,337,0.046,0.898,0.055,0.1656,1,0,2,0,0,0,70.0,0,1,5,5,19,10,2,0,16,1,21,7,2,5,5,45,45,23,0,3,10,0,1,1,1,2,4,2,0,0,14,12,2,0,6,3,1,1,8,3,0,0,8,4,34,7,38,33,8,45,0,0,1,0,13,17,1,8,26,166,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872300628322965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305476160229122,0.0,0.3537535358820149,0.0,0.055506374685435934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726616909254387,0.07630639832820899,0.0,0.15337481309372542,0.06276297602192651,0.0,0.09951313115106586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634621117178089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465665678290416,0.08352060947220101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750832728879285,0.07799418404533988,0.07335740435733344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041270993497407975,0.058311419973794625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630616542885051,0.0,0.1279337977340801,0.0,0.046388178176808285,0.0,0.13056258779063412,0.0,0.08991683261830763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457344266184054,0.1996006860560944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987682867838197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448392321066918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.453323237028163,0.08222649009161657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651506244148595,0.0,0.06000222716923485,0.06052235016281032,0.12590523317546784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207789767572645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838965252538868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522897233153358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981962105988484,0.0,0.0,0.06504288790304667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378473950797367,0.0,0.0,0.08168185255196386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399831390679618,0.13036831548318506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538572448682153,0.0,0.12274053362872175,0.0,0.14268403410459385,0.0,0.0,0.09477048433068204,0.05422663151657425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855698354267537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878228253945504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734744525147049,0.0,0.0,0.06547297134690377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23768978921285636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512495001579884
mentalhealth,janfusndbksicn,2019/02/15,"Cluster C Personality Disorder, Dependant Has anyone been in a relationship with someone with this disorder? How did you cope with it? What troubles (if any) did you guys face? I’m abit lost right now any help would be appreciated I still don’t know much about it ",3.7518367346938746,6.499444183673472,5.089142857142857,76.03085714285714,76.55102040816327,8.817959183673471,28.16734693877552,9.3871,2.9125395918367363,211,9,39,6,5,70,41,49,0.21,0.6829999999999999,0.108,-0.6873,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,7,1,1,2,0,8,10,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,3,0,5,4,1,4,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447778677142613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17725334193996148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5810667366569845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510052060777301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991594396422502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393171651450301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27672558239181355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18635192857356248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22134673145595649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721645107151497,0.0,0.21648791751447455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147900276029749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20244571044551746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18007937845139935,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,4hrsmn,2019/02/15,"Ramblings that you don't have to give a shit about Friday night and I’m at home alone, well not alone, my dog is here, and to be honest the fact that he is a living being that needs me is probably one main reason that shit hasn’t gotten “drastic” yet. Here are some other reasons.

1.	Well I love my family I couldn’t do that to them, because I know they’d ask what they could’ve done differently. My parents would be shocked, or maybe they wouldn’t I don’t know, but I’d like to believe that it would hurt them and I don’t want them blaming themselves for any of my god damned schemes. Even worse I can imagine the forced, fake concern from the group of people around them. The feigned sympathy and “thoughts and prayers” that would be directed their way that would honestly make it harder for them to forget the stain that I left on their lives. I also don’t want to saddle them with my debt from the private schools and credit cards that are filled with purchases of things that were supposed to make it better but ended up making me hate myself more. 


2.	My friends or at least acquaintances. Let me be clear I have a few friends. These people that I love but unfortunately those are the people who are actually the furthest away from me. Maybe there is something to that. I’m just that big of a pain in the ass or just not worth peoples time that the ones who actually give a damn are the ones who live 100 or more miles away from me. There are 3 friends that I love dearly and who show me love and I’m grateful for them. 

3.	Lastly I’m a coward, a pussy, someone who has put the gun to his head but couldn’t pull the trigger and let's be honest, this is going last because I’m trying to hold on to the modicum of pride that is still present. This is the first and foremost reason and it’s a lie to put it last but tough shit. This is my time to write. 

I feel like I’ve been living a lie. The fake smile, the canned response of “things are good” or the same shit I spout with the custodians “livin’ the dream” or “just another day in paradise”. It’s easier for people to not have to worry about the pathetic loser in room 3 or apartment 203. Why worry them, plus no one really wants to hear that you’ve had a shit day or that you’re lonely.

I’m so lonely and the only people I have a connection with are the ones who live miles and miles away. The other people are my friends when it is convenient for them, when I can do something for them, but honestly no one wants to hang out with me. One would probably now say well you don’t reach out, you don’t try, well that’s been beat out of me anymore. I can only ask people to hang out so many times before I want to save them the hassle of making up some excuse of why they can’t. That also makes it so I don’t have to stand there like a dipshit with a grin on my face assuring them that “its ok” and telling them to “have a good weekend” or to “travel safe” you see I put up this nice guy facade and to be honest I don’t know why. These are the same people though who if they need something will come and ask me in a heartbeat because I’m to spineless to say no. I’m not trying to sound like a victim here but honestly who gives a shit any ways. Here’s the most pathetic shit. I was a fucking 3rd wheel on my own birthday. Yea no one came except for one couple who was already planning on going to the event so yea I crashed their date. Then someone pitied me enough to Venmo me money instead of sticking around to have a beer. Again, I’m a friend when it’s convenient to people and a burden to them the rest of the time. 

I didn’t use to feel this lonely. I used to have a life, with more people that I called friends, but I put that on hold to focus on my career. Well I’ve got one expensive piece of paper but now I’m lonlier than ever. You see the two that I got really close with in the program have their own lives and I just don’t fit in. Its not their fault. Who would want to spend more time with this dumpster fire? GET THE FUCK OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!!

People say you’re a good guy, you’ll find someone. Well I’ll argue against that. I’m not a good guy. I’m petty, and I hold grudges. I judge the shit out of people because it makes me feel slightly better most days. I’ll smile to your face and talk shit about you when you walk out of the room. Disgusted yet? No? Let’s keep going. I lust after a married woman who is the only person that I feel gets me. She’s amazing she truly is and she is someone who means the world to me, but, she’s not mine, she never was, and she never will be. But does that stop me from being a sleazy perv about her? Sure, as shit doesn’t. 

Then there’s the ex-wife of a fraternity brother who I message regularly and who calls me babe and I reciprocate. Have I talked to the fraternity brother? No because remember I’m a shitty human being. Does that stop me from fantasizing about a life with this woman? Nope. Guess what though, it won’t happen… why?  Say it with me, I’m a bad person. I’ve just got a few people tricked that’s all. 

So after all this rambling, I’m realizing that maybe I don’t have people tricked, I don’t have people fooled and they’ve all caught on to my bull shit. Now they tolerate me and wait for me to go away. Unfortunately, as I’ve already discussed, I’m too much of a coward to do anything expedient or quick so they’re stuck with me. So, I’ll stick to suicide the slow way. I’ll eat and drink myself into oblivion. Because then no one else will have to feel guilty and everyone can say yea he had it coming that fat fuck. I’ll have to make sure the dog is elsewhere when that day comes. He can go to someone new and forget about me too. Also death by overeating at least means some form of human interaction and the people at Chick-fil-a are pleasant so there’s a plus. 
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mentalhealth,onenightmore,2019/02/15,"Nobody’s real on the internet so I can tell you random strangers... So, maybe this is just a bit of pointless venting but I think I’m done. I think after decades of digging in and fighting through my slow but steady decline into depression, anxiety, ptsd, counter dependency or whatever cocktail of issues I can’t find a psychiatrist to diagnose on my own, trying to improve myself or my situation to get to something at least balanced. I might have to concede I can’t.

It sounds stupid and like I’m throwing myself a pity party even to say but I think I’m three decades on this planet I’ve had one person in my life in elementary school who was my real, genuine friend. I don’t have real family, I have one or two acquaintances... but that’s it. How many decades here and that’s it?

I could blame others and say everyone sucks. And maybe my luck is bad and many of them really do. I’ve been ostracized by more than one social group for speaking up about men (my ‘friends’) repeatedly touching me in unwanted ways for instance. But with a pattern that consistent, at this point I think I have to concede maybe it’s just me. 

I know I can come across as cold and aloof sometimes. I’m not at all certain if it’s a result of things that have happened to me in my life or if I maybe honestly just never felt basic emotions the same way as most. I know I don’t anymore. 

I can fake it. I can make myself into the fun to be around, thoughtless girl who only asks about others and never inconveniences anyone by talking about themselves too much or being a downer. But I just can’t anymore. Beyond living a lie it just reinforces in my own head what I’ve been taught my whole life; that I’m not interesting. I’m not special. While I know I have value and worth, my self esteem hasn’t suffered like many people
seem to be dealing with. But... what the hell does it matter if (I think) I’m smart and nice and helpful and charming when I want to be or anything else... if nobody else cares? 

I’ve tried to get help for over three years now after a string of really bad incidents involving a list of major authority figures started making my life hell in a fun variety of unpredictable ways. I have a fair understanding that I can’t fix this myself here. Especially if I just don’t see whatever it is about myself that everyone hates so much...

But every attempt just winds up driving me deeper into this hole.
Without filling an already long post with more boring details, People (friends, family, MH professionals, clergy, etc) just don’t believe I have a problem (or I can’t afford to get someone to pretend to) Maybe because I’m calm and collected and fake as hell when I’m around people. I don’t think I can turn the ‘I’m fine’ act off though. I feel almost nothing at all anymore. Everything has been an act for a loooong time now and I’ve been perfecting this part I play since I was like 13. Maybe they just don’t believe what I’m telling them when what I’m showing them seems to contradict it? 
I don’t care anymore.

About anything.

When I’ve pushed past my distrust of people to try looking for support the people I have tried to confide in (the only ones I have left) have told me I’m making it up or outright ghosted me. My most recent attempt to get seen by a professional she cancelled on me and hasn’t rescheduled. It’s been a week. And it’s a government system. Took me 6 months calling just to get that appointment in the first place. I don’t know if I have it left in me to do that again.

I just don’t believe there’s anything left I haven’t tried. I’m exhausted clear through to my soul. I’m surprised and disappointed that I keep waking up every morning. I can’t see the point of fighting for someone nobody else really gives a shit about anyway. I don’t want to accept this half life.

I’m ready to be done.

So, What am I missing? What does a well adjusted person see that I don’t? Or what makes this misery worth the fight to sustain it any further? ",3.5508527384690685,5.102158280657399,4.646580685942663,84.4724166020962,73.02022756005056,7.328257412014192,27.92873455405571,7.941651935203635,1.7555946576403898,3124,120,616,44,62,1023,324,791,0.154,0.715,0.131,-0.9802,1,0,1,0,5,0,87.0,0,1,4,4,41,49,11,0,30,0,61,10,3,7,7,115,124,55,1,11,38,0,3,3,3,1,7,4,0,5,46,27,1,1,19,4,2,8,26,23,1,9,15,13,81,26,93,102,17,74,4,5,5,0,35,38,5,24,26,413,127,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598157128933197,0.0,0.06169342744369845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038017853054537226,0.0,0.042767774937923546,0.0,0.22177407817027306,0.0390906269707773,0.0,0.1380171005743565,0.09953600839372974,0.05226436522297349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335799589032537,0.034079649576634924,0.0,0.0,0.18896003653518129,0.0,0.0,0.0610346412219304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570860603750789,0.0,0.11399935395287082,0.0,0.0,0.04815788628151466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04463622276748583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057636412800134276,0.04815157344111281,0.056743198196556474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784706396005753,0.1144220627693564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010633705459385,0.06288648699073852,0.0,0.0,0.06234973184999745,0.03692524583378957,0.0,0.0942060754794573,0.10684075279455356,0.05024451759143867,0.0,0.1054060032194426,0.0,0.02826764628551592,0.0,0.05367832385250135,0.0,0.05109687757907923,0.04755343486764026,0.0,0.0,0.12957801980601022,0.0,0.14604233449241782,0.05362992621424507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049437303857138834,0.0,0.0,0.0551953916180867,0.05737546749442925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494494274915067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058351118081649875,0.0,0.04969163325145989,0.0,0.0,0.12289743648737962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222540731176068,0.0,0.1974395576156145,0.08193823258502954,0.0,0.049365835205723865,0.049474863288008805,0.04694678183985598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927019090666038,0.17003908336663515,0.3369892708614308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059307206542050336,0.0,0.0,0.04462346675408749,0.0,0.08219437383156908,0.0,0.08623598065607639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05364311154752849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153283569963213,0.08503774224655368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054052062120259,0.05336840069096542,0.19379017164901566,0.09762955570650264,0.0584096497091333,0.0,0.10569808035826124,0.0,0.05354229129059584,0.0,0.0,0.05349428904801645,0.065350874666198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19089907885535476,0.10744403837563828,0.0,0.055200221304623334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889170533118136,0.0,0.056579642307192576,0.1336490251014136,0.1017890597716268,0.05832192967258747,0.0,0.05738648818047565,0.04624584569815435,0.06284044827663153,0.0,0.05698891066905125,0.09473758580997367,0.0430390070517557,0.055292254018737774,0.0,0.03957040462032963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344122591472476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044934954866616084,0.09772824603586204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03714132152068986,0.21493303013923906,0.054927153039065715,0.0,0.03259911467103182,0.0,0.0,0.05342037639727678,0.062113387710288126,0.1897818021143768,0.060809443790192985,0.054611831624518166,0.058199897120384377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594936467686786,0.1331262373745286,0.04484425109398522,0.0,0.050266017590356434,0.0,0.0,0.062416815993772364,0.0,0.053891184804196086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036001494645576865
mentalhealth,BLUExT1GER,2019/02/15,"I don't know. I've had major depression since I was 12 years old, I'm 25 now. I have no social life what so ever. I go to my min wage job, come home, and watch youtube. I've never had a girlfriend. Never been on a single date actually. My hygiene is awful, 4-5 days without showering sometimes. Every hobby I've had, I no longer enjoy. Used to play a lot games. But now I can barely muster the motivation to even open steam. Nothing seems real anymore. Whenever I try and plan things I'll convince myself it's not important and cancel. I don't know what to say. Feels like I'm going crazy. I don't think I've felt real emotion in years. I feel like I've been in a shell my whole life and the real me can't break out. I'm not suicidal so that's good I guess. This has been extremely difficult to type out. I haven't talked to anybody about my real mental state (whatever that means) in years. I really wish I could feel happy again. I feel broken. I've read this over 10 times now. I keep reading it over and over. ",-0.2016398390342076,2.0624765070422555,2.2237340710932263,92.66867957746479,91.4413145539906,5.1085848423876605,17.46629778672032,6.7097532225279775,0.04973118712273639,788,21,171,11,28,268,128,213,0.101,0.754,0.145,0.8382,3,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,2,9,9,0,0,6,1,17,2,0,2,3,37,37,8,1,2,4,0,5,2,1,0,2,1,2,0,9,9,0,1,11,4,1,3,12,2,0,0,8,7,22,7,17,28,4,30,0,1,1,0,5,10,0,3,17,94,31,6,0.0,0.0,0.11333365513340875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517740447857708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004235648894373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272651387398632,0.0,0.0,0.0748992172578599,0.0,0.100029242303943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063929577573044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670786432675789,0.10505321070717824,0.09785103245029493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23489086960898936,0.16593761120191886,0.11151041761237387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200747774840427,0.09741080381602243,0.0,0.0,0.12793878470315176,0.0,0.0,0.1236307554007552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649559574993418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524876012659192,0.1032285358040852,0.0,0.0,0.12765249995375266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164063003035767,0.11347804077096064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873613074042313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650801674240486,0.0,0.0,0.11703949914449728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914512835004573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143726818163892,0.0,0.1218669936627609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23233828366847575,0.5287605741558226,0.07440079302866834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235737105826204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572741237873123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607031659201652,0.0,0.0,0.11838777316225844,0.0,0.0,0.1148631681067589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703580845804732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334709474793032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715673620562541,0.07441635725989186,0.0,0.0,0.06772083459142939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884988386431109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003056956264776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966360940452354,0.13355263874665466,0.11195261125616336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243666389600304
mentalhealth,TerriLyn2001,2019/02/15,"PTSD help I think I have PTSD, or something similar as a result of childhood abuse and some relationship traumas when I was older.

​

How do I ""fix"" it?",3.3520000000000003,5.935842200000002,4.436666666666671,81.06500000000003,77.0,6.666666666666668,30.0,7.793537801064563,2.2830000000000004,126,6,22,2,3,41,26,30,0.231,0.685,0.084,-0.6908,0,0,1,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,6,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,2,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,16,5,0,0.0,0.32126357791423443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937864917892125,0.3294719720441101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18174339513099536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6339101426159713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911092452980863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087413767419704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373935758878825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294719720441101,0.0
mentalhealth,bekind98,2019/02/15,"My brother is severely mentally ill He lives with my mom and is incredibly mean to her.  He has been diagnosed with clinical depression and has had multiple suicide attempts. He refuses to get help, doesn’t have a job, lost his drivers license after speeding, uses drugs to feel better... and I’m sick of it, yet there’s nothing I can do. I try and try to make my mom kick him out because she’s struggling to pay her bills and he lives off of her. He yells at her daily and belittles her all the time. He’s so verbally abusive that I don’t even want to be near my moms house. I hate having to see my mom live with him... he doesn’t have anywhere else to go though and I cannot think of any options for this kind of situation. What can I do??? ",1.7968347338935582,3.6662032352941205,3.634234360410833,88.47191176470591,78.73856209150327,7.247245564892625,25.96125116713352,8.192908349453996,1.6216035480859008,577,23,125,11,14,194,98,153,0.2,0.775,0.025,-0.9826,1,0,1,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,1,1,2,0,18,5,0,2,1,20,30,9,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,11,0,1,3,0,2,1,4,4,0,0,3,3,20,2,21,26,1,9,0,2,1,0,23,4,0,1,4,78,24,2,0.0,0.1572262669873518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902396701855652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808918992196522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736122138581467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429320061837278,0.13468639281618536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388836935154318,0.0,0.11085274093531247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764624348413634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670964526604887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932959669669171,0.0,0.0754157323894326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310124990023554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894514514086024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311648969991587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168298948164747,0.0,0.0,0.13818528157127938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515261643793296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485631257306358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857741635640444,0.0,0.0,0.14454779226896325,0.0,0.0,0.1337290840947278,0.0,0.0,0.6216604804089377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732798684955562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574368773948548,0.0,0.0,0.1499117660518726,0.0,0.0,0.1491589048613972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387254989865849,0.0,0.14515084596657446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502797235781978,0.13037580442449026,0.0,0.07737768232296986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801874209514804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460907559979125,0.0,0.0,0.07826913462013434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Matt-Attack105,2019/02/15,"Am i being unempathetic or is it something else? For context, I've been dealing with anxiety for a couple of years now and I've never really been too fond of small talk or interacting with people I don't know well. But recently I feel like I've drifted away from those I'm obligated to care about. For example my granparents live fairly close to my family's house and I talk to them regularly but the more I talk to them the less I really enjoy or care about being in their company.

More recently I've been trying to limit my contact with them because I feel like if I spend any more time with them I'll end up getting into an argument with them and damaging their view of their ""Fantastic"" grandson, which I don't want to do because I have some intense self consciousness issues and I'm afraid that damaging their view of me will impact their relashionship with the rest of my family. 

I need some advice on anything I can do or even what this is.",6.155880077369439,6.237635787234048,7.269071566731148,73.3877272727273,66.12765957446808,11.091682785299806,31.452611218568663,10.832165505486646,3.3991425531914885,760,27,144,20,11,258,107,188,0.087,0.8109999999999999,0.103,0.4613,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,10,1,6,10,0,1,5,0,15,0,0,0,1,29,25,11,0,3,7,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,12,0,1,4,0,1,1,3,3,1,0,3,4,27,7,28,19,7,15,0,2,2,0,18,7,0,7,9,104,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115161098682353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518777740301252,0.0,0.11832985896755024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728854898950334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532705288681505,0.0,0.0,0.18858311585861226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154133572582345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711505970424719,0.0,0.0,0.15946839899748422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921538181644046,0.0,0.13700066388190274,0.0,0.0,0.10216475227426418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29163727861441463,0.0,0.15642182008134628,0.22100699961103626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081397205659085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17848007646931469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144584522394462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500814192539308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511377747990556,0.0,0.136585368918242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146933398715242,0.1192988347391606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723571059663234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981840755311241,0.0,0.30545589109718485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136508674789912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908030384862753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729780340312982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019521467013872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050176396195376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123433511025912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907599310370064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960891793448444
mentalhealth,borderlinemo,2019/02/15,"Not sure whats going on with me I have anxiety and depression, and im not sure what has been going on with me lately. I dont know how to describe it either. Its not like dissociating, but its not just anxiety. Its like my eye sight is going bad, or feeling like im dizzy without actually having the physical sensation of going to fall and stuff like that. Things dont look right, and my body just doesnt feel right. Like my heart doesnt always feel like its beating properly. Not too fast or too slow, just wrong. I dont know whats going on. It freaks me out which just creates anxiety and then everything gets worse. I dont know whats going on but it wont go away",1.2899691675231253,3.384951424460432,3.308042137718396,89.02944244604319,81.5179856115108,6.849126413155191,20.71993833504625,7.957251820313856,0.8949132579650572,524,15,114,10,14,177,73,139,0.303,0.669,0.029,-0.9893,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,0,0,1,0,12,3,3,1,2,32,27,11,0,0,15,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,15,8,0,0,6,0,0,8,13,4,0,0,1,6,10,8,12,25,1,20,0,1,3,0,0,8,0,2,10,73,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.10619741967642632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055104776063276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497522882507621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224459072829346,0.0,0.0908642591061346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208799486764385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373074054977114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.51016796351242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780481728537907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507544181379682,0.15548908323983932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685652694332954,0.0,0.4329339527989379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895804924123966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350991671117553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794219831837598,0.0,0.12275924514654132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189981415218616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913855210496846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18587176703523328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457849250312085,0.0,0.0,0.2051323905773296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229843850043374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490333544301177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090188641301804,0.0,0.11898296184890125,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sh_okre996,2019/02/15,"Bad thoughts before sleep I'm not sure if this one fits here but here it is.. 
I'm asking here because I can't afford psychologist or psychiatrist..

So usually before sleep (it occurs during the day sometimes)  when I just listen to music I have bad thoughts.. for instance I see myself or my family getting into a car crash, myself standing on balcony that just snaps and I call down.. I just twitch like in a bad dream... I realise that I'm thinking about that and I just shake my head to make it go away... from those thoughts I get nightmares. Gruesome nightmares that are really graphic and I obviously  have trouble with sleeping.. weed helps me in a way that drifts me away from those things but I don't want to be high all the time... 
I just wanna know what is it? only thing that comes to my mind is OCD.  ",2.2602594339622653,4.593342867924534,3.202606132075473,89.80126768867926,79.44025157232706,5.484433962264153,23.14504716981132,6.6274283507984215,0.6384367924528299,632,21,126,6,16,201,100,159,0.149,0.809,0.042,-0.9438,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,1,5,0,9,5,4,1,3,29,26,10,0,3,11,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,16,6,0,0,5,1,0,5,3,5,0,1,3,2,19,2,17,22,1,20,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,3,5,87,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721663985733812,0.0,0.2758035623821093,0.0,0.3676578806200072,0.08947386967145013,0.0,0.2497927568070417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987568210085706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126435350548878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465899367215187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836825072741984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336980239195486,0.0,0.08341672622454299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063550138305104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838149927265066,0.1550779119838446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066477613348229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170780641328615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797475746472877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14820288353753044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945986358989514,0.11163048859720404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094029076061736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696223016955296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.440648867856194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516616195798784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833554342139334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502417439444608,0.09404874642037042,0.0,0.3495735223045308,0.0855868230370626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616540798702946,0.0,0.08657285114895333,0.1165047152838638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JurassicFlora,2019/02/15,"Struggling to get out of bed Every day I struggle to get out of bed. It doesn't matter when I go to bed the night before I will always end up not getting up until noon+. Even if I wake up before noon and feel like maybe I can get up, a part of me feels shortly after what's the point? and I just go back to sleep. Sometimes I think maybe the bed feels too comfortable. I don't know how to break out of this habit. Any advice on maybe reframing my way of thinking or something? ",2.1835891089108905,3.453913633663369,3.35355198019802,93.5057735148515,76.02970297029701,5.8420792079207935,21.53589108910891,5.985473137389443,0.055206930693068916,371,9,84,2,8,120,67,101,0.068,0.872,0.06,0.2467,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,4,0,4,2,2,1,0,17,16,7,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,5,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,3,10,2,20,15,1,23,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,2,10,53,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158101268896316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462390404096805,0.0,0.0,0.11002410739273724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440806039411766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27534614918209205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434245462614744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329968868975335,0.0,0.0,0.10686208943182894,0.0,0.1363167371751825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24542068797488314,0.11558423640128596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33811856700124066,0.0,0.1839002430406521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891665141494504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904339827373512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4876254279045005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518308309552996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17520496838378075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294573483490811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190884323009214,0.0,0.0,0.12455538525929488,0.16001642400524985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382802522931336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733956014790286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842295799532805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,axc_xvx,2019/02/15,"Breaking out of a a pattern Hi everyone. It’s my first time posting here and I’m seeking some advice or thoughtful suggestions on something I could do to break a detrimental pattern of behaviour I have. 

Without going too much into things  I’m having a lot of issues at the moment relating to anxiety and stress - for occupational, financial, and personal reasons. Recently I have found myself most nights sitting at home and falling asleep on the couch, waking up in the middle of the night, and then going to bed. 

This whole cycle leaves me with a night of terrible sleep and makes me feel completely deflated and worthless (on top of everything else that’s going on). I wake up on the couch feeling terrible and like I’ve wasted a lot of time just sitting there and sleeping. 

I typically watch YouTube videos while I’m sat there. I want to do something like play video games amongst other things, but because I’m already so low and crappy, I can’t muster the energy to do so and so end up in the same place watching YouTube and falling asleep on the couch. I can’t go out anywhere at these moments because I have a young daughter who is sleeping upstairs and my partner works nights. Most of my friends don’t drive or are busy and can’t hang out. So when these nights roll around all I can do is sit alone watching YouTube and then falling asleep. 

This probably doesn’t sound like much of an issue but it’s really starting to drag down the home life element of my time which is adding to the anxiety and stress I’m having elsewhere. 

Does anyone have any recommendations or advise on what I can do to try and break this rut? I feel if I could do so it may be the first step of many of improving my experiences as a whole. 

Thanks!",5.593060064935067,6.463820324404768,5.818744588744591,80.54746753246755,67.48214285714286,8.966233766233767,32.53463203463204,9.095868883498916,2.7497904761904763,1383,58,262,24,22,440,173,336,0.108,0.807,0.085,-0.7924,0,1,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,4,12,12,0,2,20,0,27,9,8,2,1,49,46,33,0,4,8,1,3,3,2,1,1,1,6,2,15,23,0,0,6,4,0,10,6,6,0,2,3,7,21,6,45,39,11,62,0,2,3,0,9,25,0,10,23,178,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433033382195004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997844290458296,0.10652589227303816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564533511508598,0.0,0.14769402753486133,0.0,0.0,0.06749769124717163,0.0,0.0,0.08593429273414209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176904973488977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012123738135534,0.0,0.0,0.15414651625066128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447614459542256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064042468418092,0.0,0.08549904478977226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224083499777602,0.08675708726251148,0.09442720007074792,0.0,0.0,0.14642902985595715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422080243624415,0.0,0.10584278256882698,0.07458068468965988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194463262320683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19365971493117354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20150946952817012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221386233243966,0.0,0.0,0.06818368152488041,0.1414825484507517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413677108997682,0.0,0.0,0.064436119595601,0.09786869162278704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192482692296746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4529455414387001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428835910718857,0.10085580118399752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245134514983457,0.0,0.10407824285566904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061841120584137176,0.09925137388058873,0.09531408890372484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898063121929108,0.0,0.0,0.14863069920755909,0.0,0.0,0.06832612215673431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22115505210869293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887405474095968,0.0,0.0,0.12826366046211335,0.0,0.0,0.0766359345119392,0.16886643787842234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553915593640483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693730441103026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21554993107317752,0.0,0.09305377873773113,0.0,0.07027672927090914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dancingsquidward,2019/02/15,"does anybody else experience this? for a couple years ive struggled with irrational thoughts about someone breaking into my house. i know its stupid, but every time im home alone (sometimes i dont even have to be home alone) i get a horrible fear someones broken into my house and is going to try and kill me. its gotten to the point where i sometimes wake up in the middle of the night (with no previous nightmares) with an panic attack because even though i know that someone isnt in my house, i cant get that feeling that someone is out of my head. its gotten so much worse lately and im losing sleep over this. im not sure if this is the right subreddit, but if anyone else has dealt with this how did you manage it? ",5.14072796934866,5.476641172413796,5.5857471264367815,83.7111877394636,68.3103448275862,7.823754789272032,28.524904214559392,7.3871296695380915,1.5477432950191572,570,18,113,5,9,183,91,145,0.31,0.69,0.0,-0.9944,0,2,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,1,0,1,7,8,3,3,7,0,11,3,3,1,1,21,20,10,1,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,11,10,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,4,1,13,1,18,15,1,17,0,1,0,0,1,11,0,2,4,75,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328017341228085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858483846674896,0.11515557241893913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785844647397385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685111486951935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435603208549326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835216663952467,0.0,0.13171879690949484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877727854272924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846344016751634,0.0,0.09469238277597652,0.0,0.0,0.1099377790160794,0.0,0.12646860786482453,0.056827137074140735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743698328474635,0.0,0.06387312580780757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534329823808072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254701921529892,0.0,0.0,0.3890446396257367,0.0,0.0,0.3641974603797026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434151797295034,0.0,0.12353185332072232,0.0,0.12677942353647234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257342813979472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261867474341246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546924361560568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186400157415085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624371127903456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597939221727238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246993198096206,0.0,0.3809065474018673,0.0,0.2223107270074342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174931406058004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592508203764016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042139212144614,0.08922412638256651,0.06553479335333161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763045948290159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453375435606365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237468059540639
mentalhealth,PinkLasagna,2019/02/15,"am I being too mean? I don't really come on this sub but I need some advice. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a long time and I just left school due to how bad it's gotten and am now living with my parents and little brother. I'm on a low dose (according to the therapist I saw while at school) of lexapro and for the last year or so I feel like it hasn't been working. 

I don't get along well with my family. when I come home from school I usually stay with my boyfriend as much as possible because they drive me crazy. my boyfriend is out of town this month so I can't stay with him right now. my parents always fight, my mom or brother is always yelling at our cat, the house is a mess and I just can't stand it here in general. I know in her head my mom thinks she is being supportive but she thinks her way is the only way and if I disagree she takes it personally and it turns into a screaming match every time. tonight she said my medication has turned me into someone else (I'm assuming she means mean) and she does piss me off to no end but she is the only one who makes me so irate so I find it hard to believe it's my medication. talking about finding a psychiatrist, she said ""don't let them increase your dosage"" and a week ago she suggested I start going off my medication before I go in to see a psychiatrist because she ""researched it"". she knows I have struggled with suicidal thoughts. when I told her I wanted to leave school she dumped all this stuff on me about finances and put all this pressure on me about ""getting behind in school"" even though my therapist advised me not to worry about that and that taking a few months for mental health instead of school is a wise choice in the long term. my mom also told me she wants to me to go to this healthy eating workshop thing that talks about how our diet affects mood which I am fully aware of. I have been working out four times a week for the past 6 months except for a few stressful weeks and eating the best I ever have and this is the worst I have ever felt in my life. like I'm seriously fucking trying. I told her I'm doing everything I can but I that I need to be on medication and she just goes off saying I need to think positive and work towards an end goal of not being on meds, which I am, I just don't think it's feasible right now. I feel like she twists everything I say and she's not being supportive in the way I need her to be.

I'm happy to give more details but I just want to know... is she right? am I being a total bitch? or is it ok to want to deal with this in the way I want? should I be taking her claims about the medication's effect on me more seriously? is she overstepping as much as I feel she is? is it ok that I'm pissed at her? I guess I'm just looking for input from an outside perspective. I'm convinced she thinks medication is the enemy and she is overlooking the fact that irritability is also a symptom of depression/anxiety. anyway... sorry for this long shitty post... I'm on my phone and can't think straight right now. just need clarity and validation if it's warranted",2.9449765258215983,4.336085577464793,4.333480125195622,86.7562577464789,74.28951486697966,7.6159123630672925,24.98657276995305,8.238735603445708,1.3798911173708914,2440,78,523,40,50,809,263,639,0.16699999999999998,0.7440000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9953,2,0,0,0,2,0,52.0,2,1,2,6,36,31,6,4,29,2,49,17,3,5,6,100,113,46,1,13,21,7,5,3,0,1,10,6,1,1,31,34,3,0,21,0,1,8,12,18,1,2,12,14,97,12,79,91,14,84,0,2,3,1,58,36,4,8,35,364,128,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053747006630540654,0.04875567206928498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796964970408779,0.09153161026005882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415227165622836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045924106660019934,0.06705702911326841,0.0,0.04680237992109049,0.06196806025783026,0.0577208714369789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475815692151453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056704318546936625,0.04737286771141163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04813234216114033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256090279047194,0.045946847260936466,0.0,0.09743032895218023,0.0,0.0,0.03632809192070798,0.09950433970835014,0.0463412888963785,0.0,0.098863929669664,0.0,0.05185069032697307,0.0,0.08343150839926784,0.07858642455703467,0.05281023968914962,0.0,0.10054108096717572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05084816829389354,0.05747221698278236,0.05276262473597548,0.09377616939190438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06059055315529741,0.0,0.0,0.05855031274620584,0.04927070322418417,0.0,0.05644759324049992,0.05846421547720952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05517117114268273,0.0,0.0,0.06346455582436297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068245726032652,0.04483371142773557,0.0,0.058238839129778,0.059759487920613474,0.05624294584755533,0.03884931426119554,0.08061313006738115,0.05512613435834663,0.04856749247299482,0.14602427206969698,0.04618755996199907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036714049519723034,0.0,0.0,0.17973886646149548,0.061094468943947024,0.3324504460573202,0.05542875845380255,0.0,0.0,0.1932519139840969,0.1317054523639534,0.0,0.08086512900574591,0.20391524967243124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03727056286287707,0.08366251455624306,0.0,0.0,0.12214571666907853,0.0,0.052505328595224526,0.0,0.04802534680267715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200613177629406,0.05267640704155244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05529188150913236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035235485589920235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878845420275073,0.10463838879639736,0.08747908952509059,0.0,0.3339878286788144,0.04382921909174535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04660274627747108,0.0,0.0,0.06156987942453174,0.03893047328263143,0.11724894861960815,0.0,0.0,0.06300424036715108,0.11499939937170026,0.06296376632065177,0.060162912465228986,0.12483051281318955,0.0,0.05716780688267591,0.12406325841196998,0.08841653638246139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772238303292552,0.03654067323840257,0.21145713994270898,0.0540388728494266,0.04366519139140821,0.0962157684447355,0.0,0.0,0.1576693912561494,0.0,0.03734253135712234,0.11965207075944555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605765816318542,0.0,0.16220708406910486,0.17463109874001462,0.13235709383146538,0.0,0.04945311713644416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012563767321292,0.05585687744403088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03541927960762797
mentalhealth,BabyPlum160,2019/02/15,"What small things do you do during the day to practice self love and acceptance? Lately I've been struggling with my mental health; how I see myself as a person, dissociation, self esteem, etc., and I really want to feel better and improve. I want to know what I can do to work on myself through work and regular life responsibilities. I'm really interested in how others have improved and what has worked for them, so please share your experience and advice!",9.648214285714284,8.479626916666668,9.597619047619053,63.65571428571431,59.5952380952381,12.20952380952381,34.09523809523809,11.20814326018867,3.7639380952380943,367,11,62,8,4,121,61,84,0.029,0.682,0.29,0.9727,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,4,3,6,0,1,2,0,7,3,0,2,0,14,14,10,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,10,5,10,13,1,5,0,0,1,1,8,3,0,0,2,44,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19187933714945055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736632119343367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663504328571726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21899172784360094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19207637484515694,0.0,0.0,0.09928480072744904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20871999420996906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791354335199747,0.0,0.22150103718470404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869387592858232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17722128973495682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19788327011851026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17145274292603854,0.0,0.21554276146618184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515846757981543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647236998540812,0.0,0.4096896577165771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052766275497864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304519190840903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23163476236787744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42885416651824615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sjewett507,2019/02/15,"Therapy recommendations in or near Leicester UK I was wondering if anyone has recommendations for therapists/ psychologists / counselors in or near Leicester, UK. Specifically for prior trauma (sexual and physical) and other related issues. Maybe focusing on EMDR, trauma focused CBT, or CPT therapies? Any information or thoughts would be very helpful and appreciated. Thanks!",9.786242424242424,14.219377472727276,10.512272727272727,36.02174242424243,65.18181818181819,13.848484848484848,43.71212121212121,11.855464076750405,8.339484848484847,311,19,29,14,6,105,43,55,0.085,0.727,0.188,0.7813,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,12,7,8,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,7,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,6,1,21,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228180657858506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874253681369432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966689937286492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797724322976752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692902069022839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467825509268096,0.6130724125446068,0.3112243448076766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280014135329034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22116764170713327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29068658168466066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041358222491275,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Statamind42,2019/02/15,"Pain Shapes Character I’ve come to realize that I like people that have experienced pain and challenges the most because they typically are more genuine and real. Their experiences have shaped character, humility, and authenticity, so they’re less likely to be stuck up and petty. Nothing against those that can’t really say they understand what actual depression, anxiety, and traumatic experiences is like, but there’s something special about survivors. I wish our culture would grow to understand and value this more instead of acting like it’s a flaw if you don’t present with a “happy-go-lucky” face all the time. We should have a more open culture that makes people feel okay with expressing more than a few limited emotions and ideas. After all, we’re humans. Humans are undeniably complex creatures. Why pretend like we’re not? ",7.973241379310345,9.814268979310349,7.6429310344827615,66.09267241379311,62.6551724137931,11.04137931034483,37.25862068965517,11.00357731598739,4.758986206896552,682,33,101,19,10,216,102,145,0.116,0.7290000000000001,0.156,0.8444,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,2,1,3,2,4,11,0,0,6,1,11,3,1,1,2,30,18,10,0,4,3,0,1,5,0,2,2,1,0,2,8,12,0,1,6,1,0,3,3,3,0,0,1,3,8,8,11,14,9,10,0,1,0,0,12,4,0,2,8,66,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.16645262900271668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304862996528838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397845979073436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469317585284768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691249778401366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19186934549438808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33370221205203704,0.0,0.0,0.08624579064605045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693939409866552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255382549558275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4166617188462099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385742470914795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16366741402525067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629990054505308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23650482115827345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19414706862144995,0.10927210972707962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564485502855195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313138403639065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994612848472286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551407210892044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391373970140568,0.0,0.19614815919827935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116869946652235,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yipppppp,2019/02/15,"Welbutrin making me more depressed? I (18F) was wondering if anybody has had the same experience as me.
I was prescribed Welbutrin on Monday by my doctor. The first day after taking it was great, other than an extremely disturbing dream that night. I also am taking Effexor every other day for a week, because that is what I was on before. 
I have slight depression and anxiety, but I haven’t really been feeling much anxiety. However I am extremely depressed. I keep getting stuck on things and crying about everything. I don’t feel very motivated to do much. I’m getting annoyed with everybody, and I feel SO lonely.
I know that it takes a while for medications to start to work, so does anyone have any experience of feeling the same way but getting better over time with Welbutrin? I also love the side effects of a decreased appetite and higher libido, so I am really hoping that this all blows over. ",5.97232931726908,7.634166253012053,6.86524096385542,70.48091365461848,67.19277108433735,9.629718875502007,33.110441767068274,9.928628108626363,3.693836947791163,722,32,113,17,12,240,103,166,0.163,0.691,0.146,-0.3144,1,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,5,6,10,1,1,8,0,16,3,0,3,1,23,35,14,0,2,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,6,0,1,8,1,0,0,2,6,0,1,7,4,16,4,19,28,6,17,0,4,0,1,1,6,0,3,10,90,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182299421877685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431493738492898,0.0,0.21219714903819906,0.0,0.0,0.09697628190097056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454501655603207,0.0,0.11801620315169478,0.0,0.0,0.12266131096955728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234603803062366,0.17888901455981282,0.0,0.3583642106961932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195656909027454,0.1213698166681535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685352270391455,0.0,0.12464692637363302,0.27133368872269137,0.0,0.0,0.28050624380216804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179708708312904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21738166455810515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290780587614175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775189704631874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327532730328565,0.0,0.0,0.07622119015011136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517444246525233,0.0,0.09257761536798492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971703805775929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20390833775377287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301525243330089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769857996707406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816651741772382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128361150243642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921404322488252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087209592272204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443496567600568,0.0,0.11008681214637388,0.1112499100866108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504049540918294,0.10096902253881836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,montyfatcat,2019/02/15,"Am I paranoid? So I’ve read this sub a bit more and I’ve seen people asking about their conditions, and I want to know whether I should seek help at all.

Recently, I think I’ve been seeing things. It started with weird squiggly lines on the interactive whiteboard at school, which when I pointed out, my entire row couldn’t see. Then later that day, I was walking through the unlit area of the park, and suddenly a spot of light whizzed in front of me, but I couldn’t see any possible source, and I kept feeling like I was being followed the whole time, whilst also moving way clear of people on my way home, like, crossing the street to avoid them. I’ve started getting anxious whenever I leave home alone, even at day time through the busiest parts of town where I know nothing bad can happen.

Should I seek help?",7.67253164556962,6.704295082278483,6.675791139240506,82.37735759493674,63.36708860759494,9.418987341772151,34.939873417721515,8.07648339933343,2.4830227848101263,645,24,128,6,8,195,106,158,0.075,0.7829999999999999,0.141,0.9078,1,2,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,1,8,0,10,0,0,0,2,21,26,10,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,5,6,0,2,4,1,0,5,2,3,0,0,5,6,17,2,18,16,5,31,0,0,4,0,6,12,0,0,14,74,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685928918892725,0.0,0.12111664455745652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299300834829568,0.0,0.0,0.1710984065072307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415878007631382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645665230384318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534708848203333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534888407741546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000330593883572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657902001184555,0.10819781688494606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912776849342404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13392909488001356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030310628838789,0.0,0.30383875109582936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646885193610653,0.0,0.0,0.16036650826841795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14798424765628862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097021847814533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532292045838696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640084814049104,0.0,0.2099964218161732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317172588784602,0.17074012794172225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149365408867418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954123909888534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532781865438035,0.3620645052803344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21439795706299944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061842345383616,0.09704475480550248,0.0,0.0,0.17662653830789798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933070808845715,0.2404321579762936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909149607945642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mydreamsaredemons,2019/02/15,"Reaching out I've tried to get my friends to just hang out with me, or go out for a coffee. But I always get told that they're busy, have to work, don't have time etc. It's so demoralising to constantly try and get help or talk to someone and just get shut out. 
How do you guys deal with this? I just want to talk to people that I had considered close friends, and explain that I'm not doing well and want help. It takes so much effort to tell someone, and then recoiling (for lack of a better word) whenever I get brushed off.",3.982597402597402,4.232177363636364,4.69857142857143,89.36500000000002,70.81818181818181,8.103896103896103,26.623376623376625,7.957251820313856,1.222792207792208,410,12,95,5,7,132,70,110,0.037000000000000005,0.795,0.16899999999999998,0.915,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,3,7,4,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,0,25,18,12,0,3,7,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,6,12,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,1,7,4,18,16,3,12,0,0,0,0,12,7,0,2,3,59,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970169804456882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911807675192735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944216085255948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185481993571804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006501098933413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780000612928439,0.0,0.4699845467737155,0.0,0.10224847827031028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781417626111746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411832505510265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225646408228608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472874568626087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048787290622781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527188692114905,0.28921387035730184,0.15725154483386936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490848552331723,0.0,0.0,0.171914201979967,0.0,0.2442976950830791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21223422903638556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176303657039795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097851760190402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yapeeyaperoo0000,2019/02/15,"My eyes get really watery whenever I talk to someone Hi, as the title said whenever i talk to someone my eyes get really watery to the point where I look like I'm about to cry whenever someone talks to me, what is this? is there a sub I should try to go to instead and how do I fix this, as someone who had severe social anxiety it really stresses me out that.",3.7796000000000016,4.334950426666674,5.993333333333332,78.81000000000002,71.4,9.733333333333334,28.333333333333336,9.888512548439397,2.683133333333334,282,10,57,7,5,100,47,75,0.14,0.8270000000000001,0.033,-0.8016,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,0,5,2,2,1,0,4,11,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,4,9,1,11,8,0,4,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,0,1,39,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732672795661402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971862771458184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18757595846965824,0.0,0.10202120710817647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877008401129323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507454607474472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16969752983366224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450013064740388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075769042531516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20279826035971305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829905961521727,0.6084021295321702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563119703667565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4328565373111355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187734315336975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,--Robin,2019/02/15,"Worth getting help? For About 2 years i have been constantly thinking about suicide and death. I becoming less active and the last two weeks i almost never got out of bed and barely ate anything. I don't talk to anyone outside my family and stopped doing things i love like driving motocross or just going outside for a walk. I've kept it a secret from everyone. Is this something a can ignore? My family thinks I'm perfect and i don't wanna come out and disappoint them and even if that wasn't a problem how would this play out in work. I'm studying to become a truck driver and they check all meds and stuff like that. Again, is this something I can ignore? I'd rather just forget about it but I have a feeling it wont get better, just worse.. like it already have.. 

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(Sorry about spelling mistakes and stuff like that)

​

​",3.594654471544714,5.908765091463419,3.9276585365853687,86.37669105691059,74.91463414634146,5.836747967479675,26.17723577235773,6.742157984588678,1.2055533333333337,681,25,122,6,15,212,104,164,0.12,0.725,0.156,0.6044,0,0,2,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,2,3,11,13,0,0,7,0,14,2,0,1,3,39,27,14,2,6,7,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,13,14,1,4,4,1,2,4,5,5,0,1,5,1,12,8,15,20,2,15,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,3,11,85,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100012089099304,0.0,0.12232557512609885,0.0,0.0,0.36031732557157703,0.404084132986288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750879833356625,0.0,0.09121998838748403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448499189940497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803769157678048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548733763608176,0.0,0.1197893167236446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321528597860816,0.0,0.0,0.1059217900028835,0.0,0.0,0.2089987621019872,0.0,0.05604901903841398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582895163895042,0.0,0.0629985290262654,0.0,0.08865675803565826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430032342544797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903574294743769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21662256615427264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000463250123712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312920329549484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549424442291356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606834382369493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067527315667072,0.0,0.12408734099150183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267544509393648,0.0,0.0,0.2537931343885972,0.1212517533555576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890969172095423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364372031539332,0.1420562265965393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828420447632653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889170699938352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070001708139576,0.0,0.11296547580900825,0.07874455892149652,0.0,0.404084132986288,0.07138367441067152
mentalhealth,Babsthewonderful,2019/02/15,"Physical manifestations of anxiety, asking for advice I’m a little over a month into being completely sober after around 9 years of binge drinking. I am sleeping better sober once I get to sleep, but  during the day I’m having some physical symptoms of anxiety (taking frequent deep gasps of air because I feel like I’m not getting enough air, feeling like I need to clear my throat, focusing too much on yawning and being unable to yawn) it’s somewhat crippling. I’m not anxious about any particular thing and my life is pretty great, but I feel tense all the time. 😭 I am also prescribed gabapentin and an ssri antidepressant, but actual therapy counseling is very impacted and hard to get into where I am located so I’m just trying to see if maybe anyone else has been recommended ways to mitigate these physical manifestations of worry and panic. Looking for any general knowledge on the physical manifestations of anxiety as well.  Thank you!",7.468867623604468,8.669287444444446,8.276236044657098,63.414258373205755,63.444444444444436,11.364380648591174,36.598086124401924,11.20814326018867,4.745077192982457,767,36,115,22,11,258,115,171,0.1,0.72,0.18,0.9451,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,8,7,0,1,6,0,10,8,3,0,2,25,27,12,0,2,7,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,8,1,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,6,10,6,23,24,5,18,0,0,2,0,2,11,0,3,8,74,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.13657839837514665,0.0,0.0,0.13676491677216926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192401748956178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903518927525894,0.0,0.3212014719731363,0.1581122158091728,0.0,0.09786158653013204,0.14340306902165612,0.0,0.12459190927749453,0.13084143427870787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531683511890523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378109638813267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674284845691174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090261053705442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710513537077942,0.0,0.0,0.11691659006763808,0.0,0.0,0.1446135819556557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123002566605936,0.1999714307411856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193661600466478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430371408919644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537449149647678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885617013262883,0.13675239752043142,0.14027425246798078,0.0,0.0,0.1175291088773484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060618979406225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171279642800697,0.0,0.1028849170546851,0.10377676413398294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905024343126294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421005186284612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423871634870118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152806225055116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28011728967923194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546950315022533,0.10523067407165927,0.0,0.0,0.12885412578731076,0.16005367775410834,0.0,0.09298159000001764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161038408439325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502200240146813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154796520969014,0.0,0.11109180390819803,0.0,0.0,0.12583866290047355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142133705180993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012808584794488
mentalhealth,throwpog,2019/02/15,"Scared to death of regaining weight Hey reddit,

I am a guy, but I am really anxious at the thought of regaining weight. Over the last 6 months, I moved out to Uni, and dropped 15kg. It was completely unintentional, and I hadn't realized it until one day I tried putting on a shirt I used to wear when I was younger but was too big for. Now, it was loose. I was and still am jumping with joy at the thought of being 65kg, no longer the fat kid. Even though before I was still technically healthy weight, I much much prefer being light.

However, this caused me to become afraid. I really got myself into healthy eating now, eating my greens with my chicken breast and healthy meats etc. Trying to cut out carbs and sugars. Every day I look in the mirror for the slightest weight gain I can pick out with my eye (which of course is not how body weight works). I am quite active, in that I train in MMA 5/6 days a week between 1:30/2 hours average. But I am still so scared of gaining weight.

I feel ashamed that I feel this way, because I am a guy, I am not supposed to be so mentally fragile when it comes to my weight. My issue recently became that after eating my designated amount of calories per meal, I wanted just a little more, because I would finish my meals in under 10 minutes (I was always like this). I am doing my best to educate myself about the ins and outs of healthy eating, how calories aren't everything and I have to look into the food composition itself. I just really wish that I wasn't so anxious about the whole thing. ",5.2550657894736865,5.67597884868421,5.671710526315793,82.89697368421055,68.07894736842105,8.636842105263156,28.5,8.532816995589336,1.8896736842105253,1206,38,243,17,19,387,165,304,0.087,0.772,0.141,0.969,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,5,19,8,1,4,14,0,26,21,6,5,0,38,37,19,1,4,7,0,10,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,14,17,16,0,6,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,12,16,38,3,42,21,7,42,0,0,4,1,4,18,0,0,19,171,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612306496405694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795506021101164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688491833051807,0.08776526382059031,0.06762072248487834,0.0,0.08339590925944411,0.0,0.0,0.08827012935634926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163469054796252,0.0,0.06845394447004215,0.08331983288246195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374928297253154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252590822550002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862691889822502,0.052487327061510436,0.0,0.06695453182801674,0.0,0.0714199829498875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036199420447815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609203707944892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355716832944412,0.0,0.0,0.15737001645022636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825917103483743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294309624754781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477636315788847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038823653171159586,0.07964699742608773,0.0,0.0,0.13346484429680028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008423288314279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342994992322992,0.08446104274012205,0.11683505104699435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053849022046635726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988647119013216,0.0,0.0845231344123771,0.0,0.0,0.1527261432033867,0.0,0.07846425945341297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912103324727678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903877928326092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279446747431705,0.0,0.07807610703788248,0.1261761386624254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790600623473603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863413417498501,0.0,0.0,0.04687180538857821,0.0630773535717496,0.06374378344272587,0.67738737008511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872227553879566,0.09138334239059487,0.0,0.0,0.057853058057552115,0.0,0.0,0.05645120910453812,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Only_Nobody,2019/02/15,"[22M] I want to work but I cant due to mental health issues I have the knowledge, the skills and the desire to work and become self-reliant but I can't because I struggle with mental health issues. Specifically, anxiety. My anxiety is so bad I haven't left my house since spring 2018. I can't even step outside into my backyard and play with my dog. I feel like I'm in prison.

I applied for disability and after they got a copy of my medical history they told me the next step would be to go to a doctors appointment in person for a check up (which they would pay for) But due to my anxiety, I couldn't leave my house and so the application was later denied. They sent me a letter saying i have 90 days to appeal and if I would just go to the appointment they can resume the application.

As for my living situation I live with my parents and after I moved in with them in the spring one of the first thing they did was destroy all my prescribed pills. My mom crushed up my pills and flushed it down the toilet because she said it was poison. I havn't been on medication since. I don't know if medicine is the answer since I'v been brainwashed to believe it was poisoning me but all I know is that I need to adress my mental health so I can gain employment.

I suspect my parents of trying to keep me in this situation. They are doing nothing to help me. I tried reaching out asking them for help but their actions,words and behavior tell me they don't want me to get better. The other day my mom told me my purpose in life was to take care of her and my dad when they get older. She told her that God gave her the signs in a dream that this was my true purpose in life, to stay at home, clean the house and serve them.

Right now I plan on running away and living in my car. I don't see my situation ever getting better if I choose to stay here in the ""comfort"" of my parents home. If I leave and live in my car I would have no choice but to take my life in my own hands and go out and be around other people to get access to food, bathrooms, laundry, showers etc etc. I'v been thinking about this for over a month now but I just want to get some input on this idea.",4.697307979120062,4.6949701252796485,5.491275167785237,85.18010439970175,69.22371364653245,8.23296047725578,27.741237882177487,7.793537801064563,1.4456168530947051,1694,50,366,18,27,554,200,447,0.108,0.784,0.107,-0.6766,5,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,13,8,13,12,3,1,21,0,34,15,1,0,4,62,64,31,0,14,13,6,2,1,0,4,13,2,5,1,14,23,1,1,9,2,2,10,9,5,0,2,17,5,77,7,64,40,6,56,0,0,1,0,37,27,0,5,18,256,91,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167527781730019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498290949461187,0.06824244953933227,0.0,0.06858319336560635,0.0,0.060949542737756914,0.08899672871294541,0.08061957948929606,0.0,0.08224275248338347,0.0,0.129120034043604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442542472730197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415420179115164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747156413410524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628221604304132,0.04821390664154058,0.0660300705525334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03690953514895216,0.052149154229671146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209130954776066,0.08826840237672187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906899012297636,0.0,0.1244578296633659,0.0,0.058382462049274636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327775623097596,0.0,0.0,0.09785685623402438,0.0,0.14644411826438272,0.0,0.0,0.2526866131236417,0.0,0.08240485868303503,0.0,0.15238004763904642,0.0,0.06488319068303088,0.0,0.0,0.08023461178781098,0.0,0.0,0.15458681170723565,0.07931158008076794,0.0,0.15468006535813533,0.035662703632901915,0.0,0.2578311630589006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707382929379192,0.22069177135819612,0.0,0.0,0.17098667994023464,0.058265601528770174,0.07758438193560828,0.0,0.054126436543664384,0.0,0.0,0.0776332609611591,0.0,0.0,0.07004270150985895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049464734956919366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24316397595286565,0.0,0.0,0.05060700901486656,0.06373826602910555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233913818316435,0.06943697345242249,0.058050236503688776,0.0,0.0,0.05816925045425991,0.0,0.07615191202912687,0.0,0.0,0.1811519059685899,0.24615545040593145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556104260830225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631243497789987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976949320241043,0.0,0.06380269683002121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04849604025393712,0.046773604414904746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20925561757674532,0.0,0.099120500165042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916677085558198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628553962542653,0.0,0.0,0.20742022716292333,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kimskarkrashedagain,2019/02/15,"Sunshine makes my depression worse. I've been doing a lot of research on reverse seasonal depression, but it seems like such a rare concept that the research is super limited. But heat doesn't seem to affect me that much - I love warm weather, I just can't stand so much freaking sunlight. And a lot of people love the rain, but I've been dealing with depression and anxiety my entire life and rain alleviates my symptoms at least 90% of the time. It doesn't make any sense.

I've also been dealing with chronic headaches my entire life, and if I forget my sunglasses then I'm totally screwed. I am proud of having blue eyes, but I wonder if having lighter-colored eyes and chronic pain has anything to do with this odd case of sunshine-depression. 

Does anyone else have any helpful ideas, or relate to this in anyway? Given my insomnia and persistent craving for red meat, I'm tempted to just call myself a vampire (halfway joking, of course). Maybe I should pursue a life on the rainy west coast. Or the rainforest. Idk. ",4.513906250000002,6.631083411458337,4.946250000000003,80.97375000000002,71.65625,7.508333333333333,31.27083333333333,8.278499904357787,2.556608333333333,813,37,140,13,16,258,118,192,0.172,0.669,0.158,0.2266,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,6,14,1,0,10,0,15,13,2,3,1,32,25,17,0,3,10,0,1,1,0,1,8,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,4,6,14,8,18,20,6,9,0,3,5,3,6,5,1,9,4,90,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130545227336215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227457045662696,0.0,0.10814860512742126,0.0,0.0,0.0988500520913744,0.14485153312417426,0.11633647789340565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435583358605014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914950641192001,0.4870513380605411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371491734668638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809752353619743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475815647926028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595909125685436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995640449019893,0.06906684276139716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403775310319829,0.2551861118130804,0.0,0.1887327895488008,0.0,0.14202640360048915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20784824303131255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504289577011102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980090116058871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573981192033373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693883957908813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243470194973201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533110700404086,0.0,0.0,0.14406936255405076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,llkt0,2019/02/15,"Self-loathing I hate myself. I hate everything about myself and I can’t do anything about it. I can’t do anything correctly and I seem to screw up everything I touch. I feel useless and worthless at all times. All I ever feel is sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety and shame and the worst part is, I don’t even think I want to get better. No part of me wants me to feel better. I don’t eat because I’d feel guilty and if I do I’ll throw up purposefully to cleanse my system. I don’t sleep because I feel that I need to work twice as hard to achieve what I want to academically and I’m always shaky and nervous. My self confidence is non existent so as a result I apologize for everything. I know I need to get better, but I’m not sure I want to. I’m not sure what I’m trying to get out of this post. I guess I’m just venting so I don’t explode and cause a scene.",0.4707994310099579,2.423314913513515,2.750071123755337,92.68832147937412,83.64864864864866,6.056899004267424,22.16927453769559,7.273561745256523,0.6717027027027025,669,23,155,10,19,228,91,185,0.203,0.7190000000000001,0.078,-0.9438,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,5,7,17,4,4,3,0,12,3,1,2,6,39,37,15,0,7,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,10,1,0,8,0,0,1,9,12,0,1,0,7,28,5,21,37,5,9,0,3,0,1,2,4,1,4,2,94,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478596153511864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633804841637596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072635005635195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353461505502328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341312935229146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936740830661705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288604275249756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317725497960916,0.11391319221449756,0.0,0.0,0.3395401403561879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183763803966605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19738366344649802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872889058290835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281082017870953,0.24866462273439185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920923056994853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675476546640413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727453375923136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060856236182685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464425473115901,0.2627502081971534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602348698594454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23737985722113294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069248670635397,0.0,0.0,0.0734322768034407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549992823886478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971130995938505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168038897777826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ysm97,2019/02/15,"A University project on Mental Health Hey everyone,
I'm a university student, studying Graphic design. Last semester, I made a card game and video as part of a charitable creative organisation called Creative Conscience. One of the briefs was on Mental health, at first I was scared to do the brief as it hit close to home but I decided to try it.
If you'd like to watch the video you can do so here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dzd1bhDb04

The aim of the game was to get students who have trouble discussing their emotions, to talk to their friends in a friendly, none judgemental environment. Please let me know your thoughts.
",7.4107272727272715,9.468880754545461,6.185227272727275,75.20784090909092,64.18181818181819,9.136363636363637,35.56818181818181,9.516144504307137,3.456363636363635,513,24,86,10,8,153,77,110,0.068,0.782,0.15,0.8593,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,2,1,2,6,0,1,10,0,9,2,0,1,0,8,15,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,3,4,1,2,1,2,0,2,5,1,9,4,16,7,2,9,0,0,1,0,14,5,0,1,3,55,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20456752167105768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22535331227569946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914315672604491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040742089930536,0.0,0.0,0.3095613208150858,0.0,0.10466834890996188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4258999026363649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009553726686244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010053871629916,0.16330222834635427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20485920288961915,0.0,0.09787503907780408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18956468231031026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.403787216437234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575422987322616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21694655722925876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21991099000815195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057331130738376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102411504783715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904601310735506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360163677847825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheNotTroll,2019/02/15,"Advice on supporting my friend at a hard time Sorry if posted to the wrong sub, pls remove if so.

My close friend that has anxiety and depression was having a very bad day yesterday and impulsively wrote to a person that she deeply cares about that she thinks that she is a bad influence on them and that they should stop talking to her, this person is one of the only people that can help her at bad days and only one of a few that she trust in this world, after a long time the person at question replied with a 50 second voice message and my friend just can't listen to it. I'm currently far away and I'm worried about my friend. On one hand, she should listen to the message, but on the other hand, if she listens to it I don't know what might happen. She wants to hear it but and feels very bad for no doing so.

Please advise, asap.

Thanks ",5.352790697674422,5.177964976744189,5.7307906976744185,84.61072093023256,67.83720930232559,8.507906976744186,25.339534883720933,7.908726449838941,1.2014213953488369,664,14,139,7,10,213,98,172,0.139,0.6990000000000001,0.162,0.6609999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,5,14,0,0,12,0,12,2,2,1,0,26,27,14,0,6,6,0,4,0,4,3,0,5,0,3,14,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,6,0,4,2,9,16,8,23,22,1,23,0,1,0,0,29,12,0,5,9,98,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479866061119152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769930874735296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998960138392008,0.0,0.4265366471724072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302108666514257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647273127297545,0.0,0.10999813404186716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457501018040271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3946798099666786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129352747526831,0.0,0.11440484140852045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394067387018944,0.0,0.0856026425425426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018715966090464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130210760467244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548221976254465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25962281160059564,0.19426141871965344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853940070354731,0.3345395026868189,0.0,0.14018939368372768,0.0,0.0,0.12231276598872334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430666365030546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296309632633447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067729268609095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492603197032713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265004516681182,0.0,0.11758002484855615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183267464836523,0.0,0.0,0.14893975540033716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107515033778364,0.07532782978082513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969770649473664,0.0,0.0,0.13963299243543384,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scurtel,2019/02/15,"Living with anxiety for a long time..  

Guys first sorry for my bad English in advance. This is the life I will write which destroyed by anxiety ( Please please get help I wasted my last 17 years. It could be so much better.

So everything started to when I got very very high fever when I was a kid. My parents says my personality changed after that I started to have some odd problems. first I started to shit my pants ( believe it or not I did it untill I was 11) . I pee in my bed in nights and night terors started. My family sent me psychologists and psychologists thought it was the problem about my intelliegence so I got a IQ test when I was 8. and my IQ number was as high as at 12-13 years olds which my family was proud of that when they heard this and stoped to send me psychologists. They probably thought nothing was wrong with me.

My okb started when I was 11, I was obssed the thought that my body does not automatically breathe so I should breathe every second. I started to breathe every second. Then other thoughts started, thoughts that I could never sleep again ( I was sleepless for a long time). However, it did not affect my school and social life a lot, I got good grades and I had friends ( even though I stink really really bad) I had a good sense of humour which helped me to get friends. I had a very very good memeory so it helped me to overcome my studies. However, when I was 16 all my okb thoughts take over me and I lost my personality. Every okb thought take away my personality aspects, let say I was a good basketball player and one okb thought make me feel I was bad, then I could not play it. I used to write good poems and OKB thought started to stop writing poems. I had a very very good memory and one day one thought prevent me from understanding what I am reading.

Depersonalization and cloudy mind started very very heavily and I feel like not myself, so I did not care anything about me. I gained a lot of weight and lost my all friends. Even though I gradauted from an okay university and started to building my life. I am depressed and I am very anxious since I was 16 years old. I am 31 years old now. No one knows that I have okb problem I dont wanna tell my family members. I am married to a lovely lawyer and she earns all our income. I dont work but my family is rich so I dont have a money issue. I am seeing a shrink and I am using prozac 3 times a day. I think it helped to feel like a human again. But still I have a cloudy mind, still feeling depersonalization and I feel very anxious all the time. I FEEL LIKE I AM NOT HERE, I AM IN SOMEWHERe ELSE. I feel like I have no personality. I dont know if I should use serious drug. What do you think about my experience? Did have similar experience? And what should I do Where should I seek help?",2.5848387096774204,4.561616401433692,3.8613247311827976,87.25598709677423,76.74193548387099,6.829591397849463,25.31770609318996,7.770157013224466,1.281722609318996,2184,79,459,33,50,714,223,558,0.084,0.8,0.116,0.9602,4,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,1,1,2,10,27,35,2,0,21,1,55,15,7,5,5,85,105,43,0,12,11,1,8,4,3,5,6,3,1,7,22,21,1,2,22,2,2,3,14,14,0,8,39,13,94,21,38,56,8,60,0,3,1,1,32,10,1,5,51,305,116,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086849366139428,0.10465557173534852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03811695461288628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04351864109447938,0.0,0.11602439949700168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052186150167532745,0.0,0.04096578289739194,0.0,0.0514504587919809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04722575879116052,0.0,0.04899982856450614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094691768010892,0.0,0.0,0.05974441717001099,0.0,0.039894868065391866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04053445638745714,0.0,0.21714416717651056,0.0,0.053715848001995636,0.0,0.03869395073699982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061187110017194526,0.0,0.11707838447296764,0.0,0.04162892834168995,0.09061860579429952,0.17466339275008946,0.0,0.16394351356374526,0.13236247628211592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879858847897575,0.0,0.0,0.1073588594287074,0.0,0.04839999402023434,0.0,0.0,0.2331033052060296,0.11113766890046517,0.0,0.0,0.0458635305369207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523473011750316,0.09787806850668833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04834546393758974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091190862366112,0.03775652791778316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04736476832827854,0.09815037647644816,0.090517359936019,0.0,0.04090091645455304,0.08198249828086179,0.0,0.0,0.10112628655553722,0.0787582674515808,0.04180510540610695,0.0,0.030918587632447286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353886573663897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0340501199170384,0.0,0.03572440965995921,0.0,0.0,0.08693531828788031,0.0,0.044444754446559764,0.0,0.14581338981641406,0.0,0.1255490123329979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143225950507289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177740272421445,0.0,0.10168967708217423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04994019336607945,0.13296435306101795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04633197732983355,0.0,0.059346842052851324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367015981266836,0.0,0.04687774881942352,0.036910598778319766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04754624223227327,0.03831592159613755,0.0,0.046352893978346736,0.04721683861717768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05185082379659435,0.3278513989896608,0.0,0.07398153343649212,0.03872512808672197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965291266525091,0.0,0.040485234471423805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059359257081434975,0.09101723441627464,0.3677246351693168,0.1080369579565156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04822017332157722,0.0,0.12001537953470842,0.0,0.3821839113489679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640460259385645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03372110589714525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050643039168893636,0.0,0.11931280964670445
mentalhealth,tonton8272,2019/02/15,For the first time in a LONG time Today I woke up and started my day like every other day. But out of nowhere I felt that I was actually happy. Genuinely happy. It’s been a long long time since last time I felt this way.,0.40638297872340345,2.4442624042553227,2.6377021276595762,92.89400000000002,84.53191489361703,5.4621276595744686,17.910638297872342,6.742157984588678,-0.08949021276595781,171,4,39,2,5,58,35,47,0.0,0.789,0.211,0.872,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,6,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,5,3,5,1,0,17,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,14,22,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.18319527051353493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421378248262445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816878347971186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604962902772245,0.0,0.0,0.15968118627203645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996795065468178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302322754254608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171432948099616,0.0,0.0,0.4983996350084125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529039115237495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328747159616539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378624018708509,0.0,0.17794402122924874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900960408759858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heytherec17,2019/02/15,"Part venting, part actually needing help with search process. 23F, crowded Ny area (not NYC) in USA.

Lately (past few years, and its been a particularly hard past few months) I’ve been experiencing several various medical issues and have begun to realize I need help. Today I tried calling several places and my insurance. My insurance doesn’t understand the concept of needing a therapist for help dealing with overwhelming medical issues ... “you need a medical doctor” no, I know what the issues are but I need help managing/coping with why so many things happen to me. I also have issues with making decisions and deciphering what is right for me (in a general sense). 

The few choices for therapy I’ve found that I was interested in are not in my insurance plan. The choices that are covered to me that were provided have many logistical issues. The phone numbers are not correct, I can’t find the therapists practices online for further reviewing before contacting, etc, or no one answers the god damn phone (a thing I’ve noticed in general for most departments/practices nearby as there are just too many people in this area and every business is too busy).

What tips do you have to try to make the search process better? I’ve made calls all week and haven’t been able to connect. With anyone. 

I wish I had funds to go out of network and hope I get partial reimbursement but with missing so much work, I can’t go into CC debt again, I just paid it all off last month. 

There is more info to story and can provide if requested. ",5.612688877671207,7.351441017667844,6.344159515396267,73.5806949352179,68.15194346289752,9.772101632172305,33.26417634191485,10.07000556051586,3.6840494363116254,1220,56,206,31,21,400,162,283,0.054000000000000006,0.853,0.093,0.9043,1,0,0,1,0,0,36.0,0,2,0,3,10,6,1,1,13,0,24,4,0,3,3,49,43,16,0,8,9,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,11,16,0,0,8,0,4,2,9,3,0,1,9,2,20,3,31,34,12,27,0,2,0,0,14,14,1,4,11,139,31,3,0.08871200103185209,0.0,0.08657011614709265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094295517440892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202949377823375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548737893049244,0.0,0.0,0.07845855580837648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811697432996901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145817773294597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080049210544612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893733110894268,0.0,0.0,0.07474368698656636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108116178970669,0.0,0.0,0.0972681302354784,0.0,0.0,0.046348359086326674,0.0,0.10083414911053516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844772953658427,0.0,0.07946852811174665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378471372916988,0.0,0.0,0.08811103368038084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4629614048790366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875379574785064,0.07231212107401246,0.10007100118671286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394144034278812,0.11843189909747745,0.26982013544147393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681040241912066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161814572353226,0.0,0.06521352809207387,0.328894123497174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009992011539475,0.0,0.0,0.060113547783815086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213290439220834,0.16937128591410255,0.06150173163286277,0.0,0.09268515969135024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575956416706307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20043862059763407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144990450747496,0.20600294134972494,0.117872623220154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408860415617908,0.0,0.0,0.12045925098388505,0.0,0.0,0.09235232167090876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115941620233868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004878266216274,0.0,0.10201442311587837,0.0,0.0,0.0645833933060213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712762012730953
mentalhealth,AshleyatUCL,2019/02/15,"Recovery through blogging/writing I don't know if anyone else has found writing and expressing yourself therapeutic, it really helps me process how I feel. And starting a blog for the first time is like exposure therapy to allowing myself to feel vulnerable-it's scary but I think it's the direction I want to go. So tired of pretending to be ok when I'm not, and actually starting to realise how good a job I've done at powering through at work, supporting others but then coming home and breaking down or just sleeping etc. I've had CBT, I have been practising self care, I've started expressing myself and I've started being honest about my mental health. I wonder if anyone else is on a similar journey?
",5.375373134328357,7.090255492537312,6.455402985074631,72.64743283582092,68.70149253731344,10.136119402985075,35.78805970149253,10.355215969177356,4.2369725373134335,572,30,96,16,10,191,93,134,0.047,0.76,0.193,0.9584,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,6,6,0,0,5,1,10,3,1,3,0,24,26,15,0,3,7,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,6,0,0,6,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,4,2,10,6,14,20,1,16,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,4,9,61,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.153702716703109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202631146580324,0.3227661409771358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058742668308948,0.0,0.0,0.1356771027955557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611828837512386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26315138755251066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566034622110435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592790982747312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133974158107831,0.0,0.1726967287467009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951404563441916,0.13210820003230142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16742105652673125,0.0,0.0,0.10557266406942203,0.0,0.1579909297872258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629997556569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656094261558629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694926600625121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872856971660054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090210185060064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431266109077955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576193194949797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4459330149126584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873545528122914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012134701974244,0.0,0.0,0.1009232100079228,0.0,0.0,0.09184276499202244,0.18102948369278526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290086651913126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708080728548387,0.11466593146501435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Uncreativitype,2019/02/15,"Feeling so alienated for being a thoughtful introvert Lately I just can’t stop feeling so *different* from everyone.. 

Mainly because I spend the majority of my thoughts just thinking about abstract concepts that aren’t interesting to talk about, either philosophical things or sort of having “convos” of things I’d want to say to people who aren’t even in my life anymore. I feel so disconnected from everyone else. 

I had a hard high school experience with family kicking me out, losing friends after coming out, etc. I also don’t know if taking psychedelics did this but I find the things people my age talk about overwhelmingly fake and boring... I don’t have any gossip to talk about or anything like that. I’ve also been struggling because I realized I don’t really feel sexual attraction to anyone?  I wouldn’t mind a relationship but don’t reallt have any drive or real /want/ to like everyone seems to have,.. I would like more friends but that’s about it. 

Idk what the point of this was, other than wondering if anyone else has been like this and what they did about it. I would love to get more hobbies and shit. Ive been taking Paxil the last 2-3 weeks. 

TLDR; I feel stuck in my own head, what should I do?",3.9101035196687377,6.295381173913047,4.739689440993788,80.58876811594203,74.21739130434783,7.6853002070393375,25.30020703933747,8.563005593585519,1.9560207039337467,970,33,173,19,21,313,131,230,0.107,0.738,0.155,0.9083,3,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,1,1,14,16,1,2,7,0,26,4,2,0,0,41,45,16,0,8,11,0,6,4,2,4,1,1,0,0,16,7,0,1,13,0,1,2,8,7,0,0,10,7,21,9,28,30,7,14,0,2,0,1,11,6,1,8,10,122,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810128255072455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145058672664194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043434715877347,0.15572416416423498,0.11409646958414872,0.0916357675007357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576208305123458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592256725264832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634238927505833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860458113420172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419038309955208,0.07354899997286284,0.0,0.0,0.31921373901307376,0.0,0.1089266649990964,0.10497568740398464,0.0,0.2815224474394428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017765532176386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720653635924222,0.0,0.05817844898836415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975230623199302,0.0,0.11428246886116092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765278758743965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061197856295676964,0.09076927705917344,0.12561341442340845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865340739004399,0.21760992802592005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457788461174185,0.0,0.0,0.10050233441374312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243691737675438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439922478524784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526657214950187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267464939728209,0.07133693490848078,0.0,0.0,0.1195537147069428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855405297848029,0.0,0.112697316336031,0.0,0.1013735099839251,0.0,0.0,0.11430442025022887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309785815342604,0.0,0.11641253881059307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674503688860854,0.2685090582043792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193816131760805,0.07135185819766217,0.0,0.17680703778615328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136025803762336,0.0,0.08932235244528576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207598667580792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820695049043207,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JM062696,2019/02/15,"My mother has severe major depressive disorder, and absolutely refuses to see a doctor or open up to any kind of help. I desperately need advice or options. I’ll preface this by saying we live in Ontario, Canada. Here, healthcare is universal and even if you want to get in to see a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, the wait is usually around 6-8 months. 
This is going to be long so anyone who can take the time to actually read this, I appreciate it more than anything. 

So my mother has had a rough life. She is 52 now, and she used to be strong, happy, and took pride in the cleanliness of her home and her hygiene. Her childhood was bad and she is estranged from her entire family, only seeing my dads family and our core fam for most of her life. Once she started to become menopausal about 8 years ago, she started to develop wild ideas and very confusing perspectives. She started to lose all of her friends because she couldn’t tell the difference between fact and fiction, and would claim she could see spirits or that she knew something others did not. 

About 2 years ago, she suddenly stopped her entire daily routine in its tracks. She used to go out on her own every morning, run errands, read, get the coffee she loved so much: one day, it just stopped. She started saying how paranoid she was but wouldn’t tell us about what. She would panic and cry whenever someone would leave the house, and she stopped sleeping in her own bed. We desperately tried to get her to go see our family doctor for some kind of referral, but she didn’t want to. 

Over the next few months, she slowly stopped eating and speaking. For a while she was thin as a rain and wouldn’t say a word to us. We don’t know why still, but she just wouldn’t talk. She stopped showering and brushing her teeth, and started laying in bed all day. Eventually she began to speak again, but she claimed to be in so much pain she couldn’t move. We brought her too the hospital and found out she was retaining urine, and had 2 litres of urine removed via catheter, which they left in for the next month at home. She eventually removed it without even telling us. 

We got her to see a psychiatrist eventually, and he diagnosed her with major depression (although he definitely didn’t get the whole impression. It’s very possible she’s schizophrenic since she seems to not know where she is sometimes or thinks we aren’t real) and gave her medication. We tried to get her to take it every day but she would just find a way to either hide the pills, or flat out refuse to open her mouth. Now it’s at the point where we don’t know what to do with her. We have almost lost hope, and I’ve already mourned the loss of my mother. It feels like she’s going to be gone forever. 

Is there something I can do, someone I can call who will forcefully institutionalize her, or get her ECT therapy which I believe she desperately needs? It’s starting to make my dad physically and mentally sick, and she has NO family or friends we can look to. Just my brother, father and I. 
Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. I want to save her if I can. 

TLDR: What can you do for someone who’s severely mentally ill to a point where it’s detrimental to not only their life but their health,  and won’t get help for it?",5.4071458567679045,6.307962911811025,5.767215973003374,80.64318241469817,67.91338582677164,9.197225346831651,30.39463817022872,9.362217197678863,2.5417709036370453,2599,97,508,50,42,832,289,635,0.119,0.807,0.07400000000000001,-0.9826,2,0,2,0,0,0,71.0,15,2,3,5,25,22,0,2,22,0,50,21,5,4,3,120,102,50,1,19,26,7,3,1,2,10,14,5,5,0,25,43,1,9,10,2,0,11,16,10,0,1,18,16,88,12,71,66,14,72,1,6,7,1,106,26,0,18,35,338,113,5,0.0,0.0,0.05691938553167272,0.0,0.0,0.05699711753523393,0.10340790848297347,0.0,0.05840672939935548,0.0,0.06436602688051961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932962239393096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040784058377590096,0.0,0.0479986970716214,0.0519239865356584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04870116252231264,0.03555600218078709,0.06441832156283712,0.0,0.06571530277444368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595590656712753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656989299417367,0.0,0.06407019929863211,0.112849552538536,0.0,0.10047506189467044,0.05920135047998967,0.0,0.060939993756884775,0.06684855543406681,0.11940166992115248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968376109131079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704974304034265,0.0,0.09828714399362436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219944519788024,0.0,0.029492219123714518,0.04166929432871788,0.0,0.0,0.05331042757783384,0.0,0.0,0.06395327222861863,0.09012761598275217,0.0,0.21331657688650832,0.0,0.13259582090033908,0.0,0.046649960688763537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209088220038478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399915716482884,0.0,0.0,0.11728740968281776,0.0,0.11701480410963537,0.05793253051811029,0.0,0.06730229224686117,0.0,0.06584483221831616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214785712858483,0.096166075078006,0.0,0.0,0.061760573603913585,0.0633731768593256,0.0,0.1235956606660791,0.02849595005304456,0.0,0.051504395322025186,0.05161814657180765,0.04898054698964068,0.0652537356142556,0.06367153467077133,0.0,0.05264299340841248,0.0,0.03893416818641909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058758984411368766,0.17634169743482672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396697531459138,0.061993075322919006,0.08575508761121105,0.0864984465661523,0.0,0.0,0.12406426330297557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062117057824552326,0.039524334195992786,0.08872163259685217,0.0620647461762689,0.06843494550642022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102769900046148,0.0657556764984641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668689522389497,0.06638965040635117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391534969141039,0.0,0.0,0.27887757573798105,0.05309931405077546,0.0,0.13178731447984274,0.0,0.04824924583799907,0.0,0.05836978685877175,0.0,0.1482625195464761,0.0898069697078288,0.05768755045588109,0.0,0.2477077218434229,0.0,0.04658054727058016,0.2438226913681494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771028769557633,0.046881566362300925,0.15294284590698762,0.0,0.06670276631026882,0.0,0.0,0.0373740114862832,0.0,0.0,0.034011329539304094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480418009923533,0.07920130932894152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104829918269709,0.10075274733997502,0.06423968067445016,0.09625286160864917,0.10320950112761293,0.04629778421248764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263164385672064,0.06512075309347981,0.0,0.0562257860109253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20717149259306114,0.0,0.0,0.07512220565832012
mentalhealth,Nekraa,2019/02/15,"I Can't focus on tv shows anymore and it's stressing me out If im watching a show i need to at all times, be doing something else while doing it or else ill start thinking about if my eyes are working correctly.
i think about all the time, where on screen im supossed to be looking and i allways seem to miss stuff (bc when im thinking about where im looking my eyes won't naturally take in the screen as a whole picture)
this has been affecting me for years at this point and it mostly destroys many tv shows for me. i don't naturally pick up subtly toutches to the scene and and i have to be actively thinking through what they wanted me to get out of the scene or what characters where present.
if the scene contains a group of characters ill focus on each character individually instead of the group as a whole and in the end it becomes really stressing. i completely fail to feel the atmosphere and tone the scene is trying to make me feel, but i can imagine what they wanted me to feel. it feels like im analysing each and every scene in retrospect instead of just experiencing the show.
i can't even really follow action scenes now because my mind will notice that im picking up on the scene as im supposed to but then i stop and start thinking about where on screen im looking again.

the only thing i can get out of shows now is the dialogue and storytelling.

am i the only one that this has happened to and what can i do about it?",4.755477649603463,5.370534277397262,5.55779379956741,82.58879235760638,69.23972602739727,8.476135544340304,30.77937995674117,8.532816995589336,2.210661643835617,1147,45,233,17,19,375,134,292,0.059,0.923,0.018000000000000002,-0.8089,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,2,17,6,1,2,18,0,22,4,2,4,3,49,47,24,0,6,8,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,17,16,0,2,11,7,0,2,4,5,0,1,1,14,24,1,42,41,7,36,0,2,9,0,4,20,0,7,15,163,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476818870847325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210473992750085,0.09440037365650332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961886530849282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428067159358239,0.0,0.07570544084989468,0.0,0.0,0.0564554024125801,0.0,0.07201633707250574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728748242856582,0.06106332576201536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931427349358198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558522145013802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7386209618628884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041758746074755486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153323072789957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705519696314847,0.08665818972508336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630533955426684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337859694610955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973138041165105,0.0,0.0,0.0579200424057417,0.1300151116229887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080146152205671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095148912595488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781318987654255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580279718331063,0.0,0.0,0.12099922781963293,0.0,0.0,0.07146089066799298,0.19582254699145887,0.0,0.09784837510328506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426652954552038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05678576283618946,0.2738445029110283,0.0,0.0,0.09968226862082713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058031884511639036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083068745014408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19085947214010715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062226786088951866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055043069362872274
mentalhealth,lastsyndrome,2019/02/15,"Any suggestions, I’m hopeless(long read) Hey everyone! I don’t expect many peeps reading this but I’ll try.
My name is Sam. My father is from macedonia my mom from Czech rep. and that’s important coz i grew up in a small poor town in macedonia.
Where it’s ok to beat your wife and kids. My father dis just that and my mother was very distant, only way i can say is I cant remember ever being hugged or anything like that from her. Ofc i didn’t want my father to do that since I was scared of him. I am born female so in their culture I was supposed to marry and be a slave basically to a man. But as I got older I just couldn’t wrap my head around that. With time i realized that I was attracted to girls and assumed that I was a lesbian and that scared the hell out of me coz there they are strictly muslim and at that point I still believed and thought that I was going to hell and got a lot of nightmares. So i always lied about my sexuality and said I don’t want anyone. With puberty came depression and self harm and more violence from my father and so on. Was molested by a old neighbor and raped by a family member that lived next door (multiple times) flash back to moving to germany i was 17 and my first panic attacks hit me. With time I realized That i am trans and became an atheist but still lived with my family who knew nothing basically. With time the anxiety and stress became so frequent that by now I can’t leave my house. I am afraid of restraint, small spaces, places without fresh air, nausea and my phobia is vomiting. I knew this since the first time it happened when I was small and I only used ti freak out when I felt sick and did anything to suppress it by now i think of it everyday. With every unpleasant or any smells, while drinking eating the whole day sometimes. It wasn’t like this but I’m at the point that I can’t work And cant go search for help coz i get so much anxiety that I hurt myself hey scratching, pinching or hitting so it distracts me from any other feeling. 
I have 2 therapists. One psychotherapist and one specifically for gender. I have a psychiatrist who gave me many meds to try out and none of them worked. (Sertralin, escitalopram,quentiapin,mirtazapin,.. and others i don’t remember anymore)
Most of them made my condition worse and others i didn’t feel at all.
I have saved some alprazolam 0,5 for times where I have to calm down. They aren’t prescribed to me but they help me. I’ve been taking them for years now but never daily only for panic attacks or when I had important stuff to do and couldn’t go otherwise. I have to explain how it helps. Alprazolam doesn’t make me feel good(in the low dose i take it) it just makes me feel normal, like I used to. I don’t want to take them often but I really don’t see an option and I’m becoming more and more suicidal and I’ve been in a clinic they don’t help me. They give me more anxiety since I feel trapped and don’t eat anything.
It’s not like I dont have things i love to do but these things make it not worth it
Does anyone have any suggestions don’t be shy I’m basically hopeless so anything even f it sounds rough is fine.
Thanks whoever reads this 
Bthw open for any question (appropriate)",2.4654143126177,4.480265771604942,3.8440071144590933,87.06498116760832,77.24074074074073,7.232726511822557,23.791692822766272,8.17336443882689,1.3570451140405946,2532,83,523,46,59,832,291,648,0.2,0.715,0.086,-0.9983,1,1,1,0,1,4,57.0,0,1,10,5,28,31,6,7,17,1,56,12,1,10,3,105,99,55,1,7,18,7,8,4,1,0,4,3,2,4,41,42,3,1,17,4,2,6,25,19,0,4,26,13,83,12,62,66,11,62,2,4,1,4,44,27,2,11,32,346,124,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809740172090816,0.0,0.0,0.23740638082501986,0.0,0.1602406529803713,0.0,0.06924454832270703,0.09764217100845032,0.0,0.2298298489208368,0.062156280841597925,0.0,0.15886494824022535,0.0,0.05368871979701713,0.0,0.0,0.07711278647016727,0.0,0.07866535463400674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798576357962491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04502933967147585,0.0,0.06013748732884036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061101602175663024,0.0,0.08183072933531667,0.06839886593238695,0.0,0.1428904390277016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04611669660513834,0.06315789245469368,0.058827949593112126,0.06671780336777446,0.0,0.0,0.13164371857432788,0.0,0.17652021510681376,0.0,0.06703995923333604,0.0,0.0,0.11878091960142854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03647905317467055,0.06697951443061444,0.1190441590512864,0.05856328454811548,0.11168587973610307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061743262406920185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165739773077684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872005512114603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056508094397526,0.07474577209412912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393129484052154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364457848881711,0.0,0.12330800748567318,0.061790171150219814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936006986095967,0.0630169773345232,0.06606715590771285,0.13981995144770828,0.14157686503397096,0.0,0.0,0.07755637413298921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177454796340615,0.0,0.07420961403569216,0.051327119360315115,0.0,0.053850942174684883,0.0,0.07425636691984325,0.0,0.0684106228117721,0.06699598186369278,0.0,0.07326632311108952,0.0,0.09462623270176647,0.15930806974810854,0.0,0.16384187640736464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729490091026988,0.0,0.1320084997014956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821649080526723,0.0,0.20952233969236086,0.0,0.04472968748900388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818916971896954,0.0,0.06641660178446168,0.055525165479757964,0.13980777503036412,0.0,0.05563900255774197,0.0,0.07283945375052092,0.0,0.0,0.17327215463179627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905562970857759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115196952729044,0.0,0.07998073348280857,0.0,0.0799293537041275,0.0763738097529673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749210447159082,0.0,0.0,0.06428261093741328,0.0,0.08106859012676579,0.09277311592147436,0.044739044690322506,0.0,0.055430777592120416,0.24428221618030066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948089535130594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206073816178459,0.0,0.057610367549938285,0.12354827057055012,0.05542136245411055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795364123505781,0.0,0.06730580564022455,0.0,0.10166232786032092,0.0,0.07115446597123519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0449630048063837
mentalhealth,mrgoodcat1990,2019/02/15,"Unemployed Neighbours lifestyle is fucking bullshit ( rant) My neighbour sits up all hours of the night I can hear every tap , footstep door slam, cupboard bang. Music until 6-8 am every night  . I'm woken constantly through the night . This has been going on for two months , he gets up randomly on a Saturday at 4 am and plays music through to mid day , it's not as though he's partying , he sits up there alone , I went up to complain. With no answer but . the music was turned down  but still i could hear it in the background.

 I've tried to speak to this guy numerous times about the noise . he never answers the door, I've put in a complaint 

The fact of the matter is I'm currently unemployed myself. ive been unemployed for about 4 months now . my sleep is so bad because of this fucking guy i end up napping through the afternoon ,  unhealthy and seriously unproductive i can't get  anything  done ,I think this guy has completely given up on life or something  it's fucking miserable  ive tried countless times to get sleep and get up in the morning and be productive.  but this is seriously abnormal. the worst of it all is im getting a lack of day light during winter.

Some miserable shit. I gotta get out of this place if it's the last thing I ever do ",3.3245818815330987,5.264562085365856,4.424099883855984,84.20841463414638,74.48780487804878,7.612543554006969,28.787456445993037,8.418075326091056,2.1749700348432057,987,42,191,18,21,322,139,246,0.195,0.7879999999999999,0.017,-0.9934,7,1,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,8,12,4,2,15,0,20,7,3,0,5,25,40,13,0,3,6,0,0,0,2,1,1,3,2,3,12,6,0,0,3,2,0,3,4,11,0,1,7,4,13,1,37,30,5,45,0,2,0,3,13,18,4,4,22,119,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927303588254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476846185593024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615540721758466,0.0702016480028896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074510007264415,0.12444914205043092,0.0,0.09194743601618384,0.0,0.0,0.14853984472743909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785064509298936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199929445656476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417056531338888,0.1940577979145855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3193960656500327,0.3610041542182776,0.0,0.06544918280020859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420852705895653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595917458049916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134113105043521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439465402860253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387234925056508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134228196454492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384231907635815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881998545185221,0.0,0.0,0.3242150302445538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031971337122956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576955479387772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821207358099628,0.0,0.0,0.2304902114826272,0.0,0.0,0.08865728553478792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919684717827532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650847388833612,0.0737911193017574,0.1131460185580372,0.0,0.13430370334034292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15637479181736422,0.12526311805557447,0.11249647892876187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067562695124066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mocha-Fox,2019/02/15,"Where do I begin? To establish this is more for my mental health than physical I suppose. Thought perhaps helping my mental health will help my physical health.

​

Hello Reddit. I'm a 27 year old married woman with the most amazing family. I have the most wonderful husband who I've been with since 2004, a lovely nearly 7 month old baby boy who has begun to stand up with assistance and crawl around, and a spunky 4 year old corgi who is nonstop. I have a fantastic In-law family that I have no problems with. My MIL is my true mother to me.

​

So why am I here?

​

I feel I need some kind of help. I am riddled with Anxiety, possible bi-polar depression, and panic attackers. Oh, and fer of absolutely every possible what-if in life. I guess I'm afraid of the unknown. I hate it. I also feel I'm always riddled with the lack of motivation. Every passion and enjoyment I had when younger in life is just... gone. I think my Mother ruined that ( I have a previous thread, so I will save the majority of details ). Constant beratement, abuse, all that good stuff... okay about as good as petting a cactus but hey.

​

I feel like I need help to overcome all my inabilities.  but I don't know where to begin. I have no zest for life I guess? It feels like every day of life is a struggle to get through. I rarely wish to go outside, do simple normal daily tasks, or socialize. More days than not I want to hide in bed and wait for life to just... end. The thought of suicide has crossed my minds through the years, but my resistance is credited to my Husband and family. I think how he'd be sad and alone, or my family crushed and I just don't.

​

But I want to do more. I want to actually live than just survive. I want this anxiety gone, this depression gone, i want my motivation to return. But I don't know where to start. I feel like a waste and that anything I do won't make a difference for me in the long run. A ""What's the point"" if you will. I always have that voice in the back of my head telling me that there's no use in doing much of anything.

​

I want to better myself. But where do I begin? What small things can I do to begin helping my mental health? My Husband has always suggested Therapy, as long as I am comfortable with it. I'm just afraid that nothing will help.",2.474174443827877,4.58894985032538,3.9490803611965895,85.84479594410533,77.6117136659436,7.1517126570145795,25.68839227160369,8.133680483312611,1.6832879079856735,1815,69,361,33,43,600,205,461,0.142,0.7190000000000001,0.139,0.2896,0,1,0,1,1,1,93.0,0,1,0,4,19,27,2,4,20,1,38,12,1,5,3,73,80,28,1,13,15,5,5,3,0,5,9,1,2,2,20,18,0,1,14,0,1,6,8,11,0,0,7,6,58,16,55,66,11,44,0,4,0,2,24,15,0,9,25,240,78,3,0.0,0.06428613327753317,0.05294738456798063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619429143516143,0.0,0.04338961407451675,0.1354394813948593,0.3527271473894036,0.39557199562211975,0.0,0.0,0.08301350756630266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929841560566328,0.04830057910369293,0.0,0.06172561240300091,0.0,0.04172058273789672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04798625105199183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058632961804751464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998305411264577,0.0,0.09346361862372046,0.0,0.0,0.056687423008469975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04805594186868603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714257003590974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20459614881745716,0.0,0.13717082968486635,0.11628446780779025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02834724616135349,0.0,0.030835724313163625,0.09101704669547313,0.0,0.0,0.11954126118784272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05356793831761992,0.05568373397823773,0.2306922676408141,0.0,0.0,0.2182055033606385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056500720892898565,0.05963688366142776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916179908096832,0.07952225829540742,0.0,0.04791026819042383,0.09603216309153903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896941157690274,0.0,0.03621722821750545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640360587564106,0.0,0.05478449546051123,0.0,0.04330772994856381,0.0,0.03988542356878661,0.08046233233355142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05316072091046868,0.05206142770806234,0.0,0.170802006835755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365935513483299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512907697811026,0.12233410668688885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191699328626684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04488227254452759,0.0,0.0,0.055308574901165114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03840365892449768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567216031247585,0.06211172900019371,0.059348776816691484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04742334914263727,0.0,0.06204805246206872,0.0,0.03604619809606074,0.06953188761713634,0.0,0.08614861190586616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046860963183815614,0.0,0.0,0.1920144814013265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048958854030075966,0.0,0.06239331922599602,0.0,0.058839823490106635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39557199562211975,0.10481993811333534
mentalhealth,pab0lvrr,2019/02/15,"When is it time to get immediate help As in, when do you find that your depression is severe enough that it requires hospitalization?",5.7650000000000015,8.192918833333334,6.298333333333333,71.28,69.0,9.8,28.66666666666667,10.125756701596842,3.123066666666668,108,4,19,3,2,35,20,24,0.21,0.7,0.09,-0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,4,1,4,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,15,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385827424890512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4628625871622903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40942746596623497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340406919874316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30025824913940125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5060674680877298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612091686394546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CRONOXIS,2019/02/15,"Girlfriend scared about death and the future. Also scared about not being able to achieve anything in the future so does everything in the present. My (M 20) girlfriend (F 21) has a very unusual deep fear that she's afraid to die and also very scared of the future. That's why she gets very crazy about doing everything she can at once and ends up exhausting herself to her limits. I have tried to dissuade her from doing that but this is the second time that this work relapse has happened. Can someone give me some advice on how to tackle this?
Much thanks.",4.232002096436059,6.371348594339626,3.920314465408804,87.93338574423481,72.49056603773585,6.220545073375264,24.985324947589106,6.937597516519254,1.0078293501048217,445,14,82,4,9,134,72,106,0.146,0.82,0.034,-0.8284,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,7,7,0,5,6,0,9,1,0,1,0,8,13,8,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,9,1,15,12,2,12,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,6,58,16,2,0.16945864107773992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16559302282055802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27103202809229576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394500227950068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587131536962197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14829439876876058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009005800543648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30459699968883697,0.0,0.0,0.1906880835190408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885351458156378,0.1625601697604538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985171665928895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457159935328242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804679222160387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5089729860533158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358175667109355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601474921793104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881269636272293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150512937344425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194633781011509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291006596713946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336790894726912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StrictObject,2019/02/15,"Should I go to speech therapy? Don't know where else to put this, sorry if it's against the rules.

I have been diagnosed with depression and schizophrenia, and I also have really bad anxiety. Long story short, my mind is either very empty or very full of things. I am on meds, although I want to do more to improve myself.

I can't concentrate on things, and I think that's due to a mix of depression and schizophrenia. What I'm thinking is maybe I could go to speech therapy again. I've been when I was younger for my stutter and it was great. I kinda miss going, but I don't really know if it's a good idea, let alone if I can afford it.

Everything else about my mental health is under control: I'm on meds for my depression, anxiety and schizophrenia. I just want to be able to know what to say to things instead of ""oh that's interesting"" or ""oh yeah, cool"", you know?

Thanks for reading. Sorry if it's all over the place. I'm not very good at explaining myself.",2.87575,4.5069456102564125,4.10979166666667,87.30468750000001,74.94871794871796,7.746794871794872,24.49519230769231,8.472884824447931,1.4987500000000002,754,24,158,14,16,247,106,195,0.13,0.743,0.127,0.6198,1,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,1,7,12,0,0,4,2,19,2,0,1,1,33,36,16,0,8,10,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,13,7,0,1,8,1,0,4,4,6,0,0,4,4,20,6,25,28,4,18,0,4,0,0,3,10,0,7,4,106,33,1,0.11741617940360652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160775099519522,0.0,0.09389767624776696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964611172308642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803760532492127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169222930153004,0.09374726501230574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033911498061397,0.11917495050350102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617230275329967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552609100900788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20019096183595736,0.19696624102169094,0.0,0.12945175230800313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480790807795182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254857460019426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581154460074028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200659986297305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039096239005038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796033401808707,0.0,0.2608458114690625,0.0,0.11832789225870878,0.0,0.1185568696074104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267491671689433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803569086698655,0.0,0.0,0.1174479538892887,0.0,0.15043962227811145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337405860210768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628755996762862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081010426336271,0.268551268139053,0.0,0.2340182767913555,0.15047109340860618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29064193447516845,0.1385102095211128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,magicmonkey121,2019/02/15,"I had a breakdown in front of my ex his housemate Quick context: ex lives with my best friend and another guy. Have managed to not cross paths with him for months as he's never home.

Basically just wondering if anyone has experienced a breakdown or reached a super low and how they bounced back? I know life will work out but I really would love to hear some helping tales...

I lost my job because the contract funding fell through, they won't pay me so I am going to have to take them to court if I want to be paid, maxed my overdraft and have bills coming I can't afford. I owe everyone money. Going to be homeless unless I can get help fast.

I went out with my best friend because I thought alcohol and drugs would help (might as well go out with a bang eh?). My bank card got stolen (of course it did, and my only one) so I headed back to his to grab some cash. 

I saw my ex and housemate through the window and my ex bolted to his room (little bit of a puss). Their housemate let me in and I just collapsed in the kitchen. I think the surprise of seeing him and having my card stolen and losing my job overwhelmed me and I had a HUGE panic attack.  

It was horrific. I was so loud and couldn't breathe and freaked and it was just so awful. The housemate stayed with me through it and was so sweet and calm. I am monumentally embarrassed. I feel like I put him and my ex in an uncomfortable position and it felt so ridiculous and dramatic. I was sobered up hard after having my card stolen but just felt like I looked like a drunk idiot.

This morning the housemate was really sweet and said he hoped I was ok but I could barely look at him. Wrote a thank you/sorry note and left it in his room.. I don't think I can ever go back there.

I think I've finally snapped. What the fuck do I do ? Can't afford my therapist so haven't been for weeks. Who else has bounced back? I just need words of encouragement maybe idk

Thanks for listening",1.9070529001074128,4.025466211734699,2.942341568206232,92.34100429645544,79.48469387755101,5.963050483351235,22.815789473684212,7.0608816371341465,0.6401316326530613,1513,49,326,18,38,482,201,392,0.152,0.649,0.2,0.9592,5,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,4,6,21,30,4,3,16,2,38,10,2,1,2,67,74,38,0,9,13,5,5,3,2,5,4,4,5,1,9,30,3,0,9,1,8,10,8,11,1,1,21,16,59,19,40,43,5,39,0,4,4,2,32,16,1,8,15,217,68,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108653722759703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660928340463884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108964361050718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566367724066574,0.0,0.3127101265246563,0.0,0.12395350653163358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133916312513601,0.0,0.11099670761499487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757922903993097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811747831783798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790428448071838,0.0,0.08493177982052216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196583851881668,0.0,0.09714951674887501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140712891730946,0.07263267563773329,0.1952372324514716,0.11137391328448974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570991302621094,0.09399176856004816,0.05311809155107044,0.0,0.2311243664075181,0.0,0.08131434711829992,0.0,0.0,0.10066874028525648,0.0,0.0,0.0910758575898296,0.0,0.10434218768643372,0.0,0.11458885964426617,0.0,0.20444066838950375,0.0,0.10198274831175376,0.10098070451591593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017824832187023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05587487102128097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046415527569436,0.10396390128911673,0.07181213949831479,0.14901167374212534,0.1018994987640898,0.089775987321294,0.0,0.17075346436118968,0.11374210889273928,0.11098421510612416,0.0,0.09176064837261676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214062816990514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785522012120496,0.0,0.0,0.08115158527861073,0.0,0.0,0.07538660917851517,0.07841374782535443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889385077674401,0.07732419838480603,0.0,0.11928719406769744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220587888276186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302641065663095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671092934362828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101738873322803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381062585563458,0.0,0.1083661065121067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644277373680547,0.0,0.0,0.1872071403040848,0.0,0.11804606801746136,0.0,0.1954370356370504,0.0,0.08071418698250978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996727597542395,0.0,0.08155310045640113,0.0,0.0914130458661934,0.09424859904823206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110256181965828,0.07401657072515608,0.0,0.0,0.14444612096563786,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FFJoeman93,2019/02/15,"Fear of time passing and death Not sure what it's called, but I'm absolutely paralyzed with fear every single time I see a time lapse picture, or a new pic of an old friend, or see another celebrity I loved die in the news, pretty much anything that reminds me time is passing, quicker than I'd like it to, and death is drawing close. Hell, I can't even be reminded I've been living where I'm at for almost 7 years without freaking out. 

I'm heavily depressed with suicidal tendencies, but when I start thinking of what death ACTUALLY entails, I'm terrified of it! And since I don't think there's a religion out there with hardcore undeniable evidence of an afterlife, my worst fear is that when I die ill just....disappear. That's it. No more anything, I just cease to be. That thought terrifies me to my core and makes it nearly impossible to simply live day to day life.

Worst part is time flies when you're having fun....which terrifies me to where I almost never have fun 😂😂

Anyone live with anything similar? Or can offer any advice? I'm in counseling but progress is slow, so I'm just desperate. ",5.9139423076923086,6.182877865740743,6.6779629629629635,76.77871794871797,66.6388888888889,10.349857549857553,34.20797720797721,10.214889679676881,3.4483237891737897,873,38,167,20,13,289,127,216,0.339,0.5760000000000001,0.085,-0.9976,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,11,13,1,3,6,0,13,3,0,1,2,30,27,14,6,0,10,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,11,11,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,2,2,13,5,24,23,6,27,1,1,2,1,4,9,1,5,17,97,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.11897275286767317,0.0,0.0,0.1191352281010794,0.0,0.0,0.2441631903693663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290728608539863,0.12783990362189948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524673365628282,0.0,0.300980258553285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449020548887005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15725189581703933,0.0,0.10500635764512177,0.0,0.25305980790871324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052458711237792,0.0,0.10271976746758844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115693029678469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419225526338364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611311040805195,0.0595621613220672,0.0,0.32296306288320026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003424907861173,0.0,0.08138009794876884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896225314997216,0.0,0.09402939072929792,0.1177475526377202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793068133820334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202350631690912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403273881231767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19430306323404414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085044923652002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629300691089703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333566788014856,0.0,0.11490469958531913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15623812487423666,0.0,0.09678794899689797,0.3554519665122696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752299293790194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851012027957137
mentalhealth,ponystarboy_,2019/02/15,"Trying to escape sleepiness coping mechanism Hey :)

When I’m faced with a stressful or complex situation I get very sleepy almost like a coping mechanism. It sounds almost funny but it’s legit ruining my life. Happens at home, at work, anywhere. I could have 10 hours sleep the night before but if I end up trying to deal with something that’s complicated or difficulty, in the space of minutes I’ll shift to barely being able to keep my eyes open.

I’ve gone to doctors and they tell me they don’t think I’m getting enough / good sleep, but I think this is an unwelcome trained behavior that  my brain is using to cope by taking me out of those situations (temporarily! Dumb brain :<)

Has anyone else dealt with this? Any strategies or tips? Please! I’d be forever in your debt to get help in escaping this absurd cycle :/

Thank you and hope you’re having a good day <3",4.022968349016256,6.048029059880243,4.889687767322499,81.25205089820362,72.77245508982034,7.645680068434559,25.70102651839179,8.418075326091056,1.8093972626176216,691,23,127,12,14,224,118,167,0.118,0.72,0.162,0.7456,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,2,1,1,9,1,1,6,0,9,8,6,1,0,23,23,10,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,8,7,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,4,0,0,1,2,13,5,20,19,1,15,0,1,1,0,8,9,1,7,6,67,21,2,0.14128485394916418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829527453504371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607854554951324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878965491773416,0.14476302914250644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022300458954235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31544124542770163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280445942520913,0.0,0.0,0.09111704259286804,0.14565848062446976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461103476883616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180253661980414,0.0,0.1251364450325763,0.14598502195156896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214465146134141,0.0,0.0,0.23700606455613146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249377297468503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947002594452211,0.0,0.14172022817387164,0.14032773897606887,0.1391371214733623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558046983692858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979367063382147,0.06902464306593126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325862645328049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508834259081886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317620190884378,0.2827737763620023,0.0,0.0,0.10876798312350852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16184132284707428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622862705274952,0.0,0.12348918973358505,0.13007611129761604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18105925915651933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184628330019526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220247510630148,0.0,0.11657480105495988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285705636948077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PaperDrillBit,2019/02/15,"Anyone else have a big urge to shout embarrassing things in crowds/lectures? I am having this urge when sitting in lectures for University. The biggest problem is, in an effort to stop myself I'm clenching my jaws, scribbling really hard, biting my fingers, and other things that can be seen by others. The feeling I get is to say things that will make other people cringe. It's difficult because I have to go to my lectures to get my degree but I can't pay attention with all these thoughts.

I should mention that this has only started happening recently. Anyone else have a similar thing?",5.864518348623854,7.596912825688072,6.1787958715596325,75.03131307339451,67.53211009174312,8.385779816513761,32.89105504587156,8.841846274778883,3.042090825688073,474,21,76,8,8,152,77,109,0.085,0.889,0.026,-0.614,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,5,0,13,2,2,1,1,11,23,3,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,14,2,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,2,6,10,0,12,18,1,11,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,4,58,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747709125824231,0.4026400300598876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977419064756133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32827260713802603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934768982133192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20530847742169733,0.0,0.11166579591004194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737492354189589,0.0,0.17601014179571406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115390361811333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943414733730093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621654713624978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188007660131156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587201742796694,0.0,0.1940032222297389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156251138545893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907165261012314,0.0,0.0,0.16426855511844138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5221382003612419,0.0,0.0,0.15598552538146787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cryaotickitten,2019/02/15,"Severe anxiety every time I see someone who looks similar/has the same traits as my ex I’ve had some very bad relationships in my past. My first serious relationship was one of the worst and it left a lot of emotional damage on me. Last year in my bio class, we had a new student who looked exactly like my ex. When he went up to the board, I noticed him. For the rest of the class period I had to hold back my anxiety and fear from this kid who didn’t even know I existed. As soon as class was over I ran behind the building and started breaking down, just letting all the built up emotion from class out. I was sobbing and shaking and could barely talk or walk. I had to call my best friend at the time just to help me calm down and be able to walk to the next class. 

That was a year ago, and unfortunately yesterday I saw a different person at my school who looks like my ex. He was standing against the wall waiting to be picked up. 

The second my eyes landed on him I immediately got very anxious and scared and I wanted to leave. I was with my current boyfriend and made it known to him that the man standing against the wall not even 10 feet away from us had me absolutely terrified. I didn’t want to freak my boyfriend out, he doesn’t know about the things my ex did to me. Speaking about what I went through with my ex makes me start automatically shaking and crying. It is a lot for me to handle. I have forced myself to swallow the thoughts of the things that my ex did to me, and because of this I very rarely EVER think about it unless something is brought up that makes me think of it. 

I don’t think my current boyfriend understands why I am scared, I refuse to talk about the things I went through, he doesn’t even know my exes name. No one really knows about anything that happened. I’m scared to see that person again today after school. I have been getting memories of the things that happened to me ever since I saw this kid yesterday. It keeps coming back to my thoughts and I don’t know how to make them stop.


I wanted to post this here because I am hoping that someone knows what is wrong with me, and if I should get diagnosed for an illness if I have one. This is the first time that I have ever gone in depth about how I’m affected by my ex. 
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mentalhealth,Alexprince7,2019/02/15,"Schizophrenia or Mild Forms of it? Can someone described what a full blown schizophrenic is and the difference between someone who has mild symptoms of it?

​

My doctor is giving me risperidone to treat minor voices and disturbing images in my mind, ",8.958062015503877,11.124000000000002,7.013953488372092,70.30527131782948,60.62790697674418,8.524031007751939,39.91472868217054,8.841846274778883,4.136184496124032,212,11,27,3,3,62,36,43,0.069,0.8170000000000001,0.114,0.2869,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,5,5,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,23,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107416456780179,0.3484866243313369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996391388403876,0.0,0.2935462521871061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27511935077393856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895806189521082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4859999806415386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980892249662437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484866243313369,0.0
mentalhealth,1241308650,2019/02/15,"Food/diet obsession as a response to depression/anxiety - is that a thing? Hey all. I have a close friend who struggled for a couple years after we graduated law school. She took the bar exam like three times and failed and fell off the face of the earth for awhile. She seemed to be having kind of a hard time but wouldnt be very clear on it. During that time she said she couldnt have gluten, that the doctor said so, and changed her diet a lot. I believed her and didnt think anything of it at all. Well last year this time she lost her dad rather abruptly and not soon after she started mentioning all these other diet restrictions she must have, how much so many foods make her feel bad in various ways, etc. Shes spending crazy amounts to get staples delivered in weekly from amish country, etc. 

Again, for a long time just didnt think much of it. Shes also been an introvert and hard to get out of the house for as long as ive known her. she never dates and rarely sees anyone and lives alone. Anyway after months of asking she finally agreed to go out to lunch last month at her fav italian place. She ordered pasta andnate the bread and creampuff dessert and mentioned in passing that shes allowed to eat gluten again. But for like 90 minutes she monopolized the convo and it was all about her diet, all the restrictions, how everything makes her feel bad in diff ways and is making her sick, how she dosnt go out with people because she gets anxiety about what to eat, etc. 

i mean maybe this is all legit, but a red flag went up when the gluten intolerance i never questioned before was suddenly not an issue, that and her obsessive fixation on her diet as the only convo topic. i also think perhaps that her dad dying and her not hanving any family around here for thousands of miles anymore is all triggering some of this behavior? 

I feel terrible and im sypathetic whether its legit food/health issues or is all in her head. BUT i am just curious if anyone thinks theres a possibility this is more of a mental issue than a physical one? I want to understand better, but im hesitant to ask anything to suggest skepticism on my part, since shes clearly already very anxious about the topic. thank you",6.8195979020979,6.652723247086255,6.784513403263404,78.25830856643357,64.78088578088578,9.853962703962702,31.86101398601399,9.408791572840183,2.7050986013986007,1759,60,332,29,24,560,230,429,0.12,0.807,0.073,-0.9639,1,1,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,1,0,3,22,16,1,3,24,0,26,16,2,8,13,77,55,35,1,6,14,2,5,2,1,2,2,2,0,0,20,22,12,2,12,1,2,6,9,9,1,3,10,9,43,7,55,40,19,56,1,2,2,0,46,19,0,6,30,230,63,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256740545758841,0.0879746301653608,0.12750646965884702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054213336829214746,0.0,0.12197342047798712,0.09006257503955999,0.07906228149302817,0.1114862180035186,0.0,0.1312079625835371,0.07096901476713993,0.1490576352080463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331282034690968,0.04859747126881004,0.0,0.06783710354018893,0.08981880252633856,0.0,0.07050716622294316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433474995819748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821029586388998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273830474899384,0.0,0.0,0.08159830784599048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314994301675406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667315544472907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164852134334251,0.0,0.07515431168824183,0.0,0.12092871950823235,0.0,0.0,0.08733097920963834,0.0,0.0,0.2891985723845515,0.0,0.06159261389930516,0.0,0.12495354106089993,0.0,0.09061510295511332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142829565579879,0.0,0.0818172330917022,0.08474020007978628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198787864737074,0.0,0.0,0.17222574674884394,0.24962552312334474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301764843841368,0.0,0.12996728496893012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789577168653572,0.0,0.07039552307239019,0.1411019935378527,0.0,0.0,0.08702540744234354,0.0677763472572759,0.0,0.0,0.15964411101624884,0.08082506296416751,0.08009093702562409,0.08684005752771676,0.0,0.0,0.08034049620285029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272658416642438,0.0,0.117208914127923,0.0,0.12297223252977887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402133473111645,0.060631774195599376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633058872485637,0.0,0.0552688329597591,0.0,0.0832919736213188,0.0,0.0,0.08987398479579399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930629722101904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166675769539292,0.0,0.0,0.08068238892070329,0.06352769407507257,0.07257543679560427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594642801605337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05642727039511829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334219515535912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339682334780942,0.0,0.0,0.0529634056661444,0.20432920891047354,0.0,0.0,0.2324311661497052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857349216198256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299286710080242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155713212028858,0.04702179152214196,0.12655839239945332,0.06394775859448372,0.0,0.07167918027301654,0.07390260610663972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026760323775252
mentalhealth,wntdtdiesnciwsbrn,2019/02/15,"Are you okay? Are you okay? Im okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Be happy. Im okay.Others have it worse. Im okay. Change your attitude. Im okay. Dont mind them. Im okay. Maintain high grades for scholarship. Im okay. Too thin. Im okay. Your belly's sticking out. Im okay. You have no boobs. Im okay. Your arms too fat. Im okay. Too fat, you're like a wall. Im okay. Thighs too fat and loose. Im okay. Flat butt. Im okay. Skin too dark. Im okay. You are too hairy. Im okay. You have no eyebrows. Im okay. Why is your grade this low?. Im okay. Why can't you study harder? Im okay. Cant you afford this? Im okay. Your shoes are fake. Im okay. Why are you so cheap? Im okay. Why can't you be more thankful. Im okay. Others have it worse. Im okay. Just go to class and ignore them. Im okay. Pick a partner. Im okay. Group yourselves. Im okay. Ew loner. Im okay. You dont have friends. Im okay. No one likes you. Im okay. You have an annoying laugh. Im okay. You have an annoying singing voice. Im okay. You're hair is ugly. Im okay. You're clothes and shoes are ugly. Im okay. You're a flirt. Im okay. Arrogant, you still dont have any friends even of you get a high grade. Im okay.  You're too dramatic. Im okay. You just want attention. Im okay. Do more house chores. Im okay. Take a bath. Im okay. You're too lazy. Im okay. You're so entitled. Im okay. You can't do this. Im okay. You can't do that. Im okay. You're so left behind. Im okay. You're too old for school. I'm okay. Stop coming with us,  you know we donr like  you. Im okay. Stop victim. Im okay. No one cares if you cut. Im okay. No one cares. Im okay. 

Im not okay. Im really not okay. Can I just please rest now? Please?",-5.483198701298702,-8.90557019,-1.626512987012985,111.3501363636364,173.4,2.0389610389610398,7.347402597402597,4.584842547168408,-2.3738142857142863,1244,19,371,10,154,439,126,400,0.13699999999999998,0.547,0.316,0.9937,1,2,0,0,0,0,108.0,2,26,2,0,18,71,4,0,7,53,31,11,11,1,0,21,42,7,0,2,6,0,3,3,3,1,3,1,2,1,7,7,3,3,2,2,2,2,15,7,0,3,0,4,31,64,7,38,3,14,0,1,0,2,34,7,2,1,8,118,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.012442889705500986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037310928255183284,0.0,0.01935627012549736,0.01576162826952249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433340604209713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.012085289524352028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016444563289766376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028273120462475026,0.0,0.009559659551612506,0.0,0.010398859373617191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01947796990889871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03866450942544212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02111279429004707,0.0,0.0,0.988218995813862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.010055796977196585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0198802269858812,0.0,0.0,0.02681762142792889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018475202929000924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019200090040351774,0.0,0.03719646580254418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0401701988811234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.011721811478972412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01851799068703787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01461236281276048,0.03059496581316785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.013757401118265131,0.0,0.0,0.016845828555581286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022009572827507703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.010792306836014185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604239070004551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03729331827801469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Avoider45,2019/02/15,"Feeling guilty for feeling like my life is empty :( I know that one of the symptoms of depression is being all.. you know, depressed, even though maybe you think you shouldn’t feel that way, but I just feel to incredibly guilty for feeling the way I do.

Background: have been depressed (diagnosed) from age 8, am now in early 20’s, by far better than I was in my teens, but still depressed. Though now it comes in waves or episodes. Not on meds, nor do I intend to be.

Anyway, I have a boyfriend that I absolutely adore, a puppy that loves me, a place to live.. really, I have everything I could imagine wanting. But I still feel so incredibly empty.

I think it’s largely down to my job - it’s nothing special, a part time (only 25hrs a week) gig, in retail. There’s nothing particularly bad about it, I’ve been there 3 years. But every time I think about I just feel dread and emptiness, sometimes to the point I feel physically sick. But even on my days off, I’m just thinking about how I have to go back the next day.. (work 5 days a week, Sunday and wednesdays off.. so no 2 days in a row).

I hate it so much, but I can’t really explain why. It’s just making me feel so shit. But I can’t just ‘get a new job’ because I honestly don’t think I’d be capable of working more hours, and the amount of the part time work around me (rural uk) is fuck all. I just feel like I’m in such a rut. Nothing makes me happy anymore (again) and I just feel so alone, because every time I tell someone how I feel I just get the typical ‘welcome to being an adult’ or ‘yeh same’ responses.

I’m just so sad.

Thanks for reading this far.",2.8876595744680813,4.094191103343467,4.139968389057753,88.82045714285715,74.13677811550153,6.966127659574468,25.622006079027358,7.404127859558343,1.0715526079027349,1239,41,271,14,25,407,164,329,0.202,0.6890000000000001,0.109,-0.9886,2,1,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,3,0,4,35,20,3,1,17,0,22,7,1,5,2,57,56,24,0,3,19,0,12,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,11,6,0,0,21,1,1,2,7,10,0,1,3,12,35,10,32,47,8,44,0,5,0,2,8,16,2,2,26,172,46,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473364568567636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113656121328153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283095936724382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290918499420582,0.06831047894144737,0.09974495114361703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235699375469329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047469786225205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532106278215583,0.0,0.0,0.21105059463289266,0.0,0.28186183837200873,0.08303852302120658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807349510373296,0.0,0.13786204542685027,0.0,0.07352829349261626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964056319922242,0.11689451772091652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563484588095586,0.08548788323711606,0.0,0.046496241374046905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709151242667014,0.0,0.08077344850507827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056937370561837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623736551991026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992462474228198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778697631236442,0.07993944683037932,0.0,0.07224242153203762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383947130610198,0.0,0.10922169156773782,0.0,0.08219220457458787,0.0,0.09087585448597582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060142004861832125,0.0,0.0,0.0790155529497468,0.0870091062185763,0.0,0.0,0.2355054823172931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055438639632742065,0.06222251072940409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719111982040672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547722363535758,0.0,0.07733977602675432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183518920398293,0.0,0.10482306881659323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397991955571185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931993128942493,0.0,0.08091519784142147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067201391548885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503508401585243,0.0,0.0,0.07150821125873329,0.0753224639861308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621124930458772,0.16076181135664605,0.0,0.19082338818510267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048255456257366686,0.1298787811085143,0.1312509867328078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738235519055849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868262312324285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05268492148731231
mentalhealth,soldierchrome,2019/02/15,"Please answer this If a 19yo guy was to commit suicide, would his 8 year old brother(who loves his brother the most) be mentally distressed? Would the little kid feel lot of pain from the loss or would they simply be able to just over it?",3.67195652173913,5.784907282608696,3.2602173913043515,92.17119565217396,74.0,5.469565217391305,22.369565217391305,5.985473137389443,0.2480173913043475,189,5,37,1,4,56,39,46,0.227,0.633,0.14,-0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,2,5.0,0,0,1,1,1,4,0,1,4,0,6,2,0,0,1,11,8,2,1,4,3,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,1,5,2,2,4,0,1,0,1,7,2,0,4,2,25,5,0,0.2549506179619193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289106928504936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524411950613563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555274971283952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21674989827084792,0.23010288664733405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569302578803086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26752778624090023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712854328665774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279859218288508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788745958905973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5433288123286953,0.0,0.0,0.16417983908312322
mentalhealth,redchairwhitetable,2019/02/15,"so I had the weirdest week I had an extreme ups and downs this week, starting last weekend that I took almost 20 pills trying to pass out for a few days because I couldn't deal with the world. I went to my parents was a mess there, then came back to my and my boyfriends home and felt like the greatest person in the world and then I met a friend for coffee and then we met a mutual friend from the university that I didn't meet for a long time and I had a panic attack and went hiding in the bathroom trying to tell myself that everything is okay coming back totally shaking. the next day I went to sigh to the university after a year off the exact same panic attack shaking thing and the next day as well in the pharmacy buying hand cream. 

And the worst moment of the week, no the second worst - I had A meeting with the state's psychiatrist to decide if I should get help and I was so anxious.

physiatrist: so what happened in 2016?

me: I try to suicide  

physiatrist: with some dangerous stuff

me: Yes I take pills.

Phys: and bleach?

me: oh wow yes that was terrible! I forgot about that.

phys: yeap....

me: ....

and then the worst day of the week yesterday that I had a withdrawal from Zyprexa because  I forgot to take my dose for two days so I just throw up every few minutes and freaked out about it because I  had all the shaking and gained 15 kilos in 2 mounts and feel so bad for not taking pills for 2 days.  Now I just don't know what to do about all this week and therapy.

​",2.6140307692307694,4.448786946666669,3.581333333333337,89.93746153846158,76.2,6.482051282051282,23.205128205128197,7.321109707123232,0.8107974358974359,1164,35,244,14,26,373,150,300,0.184,0.703,0.112,-0.9771,1,0,0,0,0,1,35.0,1,0,0,1,15,22,3,5,28,3,15,5,1,0,4,43,34,27,1,3,4,1,3,1,2,1,4,0,1,1,13,24,0,2,4,1,1,11,5,15,2,2,20,4,30,6,39,12,11,54,0,0,1,0,12,13,0,3,30,173,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001294802232396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834338508015487,0.1215035739829198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296468261950728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275150697092372,0.0,0.15377832508083947,0.08349075765369758,0.18286612110236766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436642114108628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613591957067566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869268885729962,0.10308935463391113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424920160669805,0.0,0.08986809970903564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05055993721709761,0.0,0.09600985722295938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545101298243949,0.0,0.052242703112911466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088424305085502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702382578767427,0.0,0.10030206822410508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05495405073863535,0.08150840174725911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04885198497881025,0.0,0.0,0.08849148444835077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212689365190566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23464267193633345,0.11103142957523583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731084571380003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077622073841161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446913042334834,0.10937713348592927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255489805927854,0.0,0.08739910521736725,0.0,0.11435177741990013,0.0,0.06643152617939456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583072667052885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109693928010364,0.2036679510476351,0.0,0.09767954326148276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4010455092296469,0.0,0.08990655493040321,0.2780861342213674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215035739829198,0.06439281469057836
mentalhealth,hahalolkms,2019/02/15,"haha fuck i was supposted to go out tonight, for the first time in months, instead im stuck on bed drinking cranberry vodka. 
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ i love life ♥ !!!1!!1!
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mentalhealth,fakemarx,2019/02/15,"mood switches (weed) Hi , i’m 16 and for the past year have been quite a regular weed smoker , at the start of the year i was fine but after some events it became something i was dependent on.
Anyway , earlier today i smoked and i was happy  and fine and had a thought that triggered me to remember a really low point i had for a while last year , i started crying but after a while i suddenly stopped and was happy again, then i was enjoying my music then i suddenly got really aroused over the thought of my girlfriend, i was then happy and enjoying my music again.
This weirded me out bc it was literally my moods swapping so quickly in a short amount of time so i was wondering if anyone can explain ?.
Thank you,",4.41,5.605222857142858,5.631428571428572,79.62357142857144,70.42857142857143,9.028571428571428,30.42857142857143,9.3871,2.7792999999999988,560,23,106,12,10,187,82,140,0.063,0.733,0.204,0.9739,0,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,6,12,0,0,10,0,13,1,1,2,0,19,22,16,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,14,0,18,8,13,8,2,31,0,1,0,1,4,8,0,4,23,79,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385719405724085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457492519128944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167136532360605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5656917985953087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438899734657293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909578774080358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674502133234866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840530766825725,0.0,0.0,0.2269549530178239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20065988383175729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636748912789987,0.0,0.0,0.25075470330253696,0.0,0.0,0.14809313051070652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308248239773898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28125145133763363,0.10328907937247003,0.0,0.16790365241750552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920957910630689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34220818039076323
mentalhealth,nowboarding,2019/02/15,"Which specific CBT exercises can you recommend? There's so many CBT exercises and techniques out there. I've read so many books and articles on the subject but I'm not sure how to actually integrate this into my life. I'm looking to help get over social anxiety and low self-esteem.

What specific CBT exercises have worked for you in particular? Could you describe how I can do them? I'm looking for written exercises, something where I have to write anything down as part of the exercise.",4.753763736263738,7.185160351648352,6.2220741758241775,70.71355082417584,71.85714285714286,10.264285714285714,34.45192307692308,10.411451182825502,4.37668021978022,396,21,67,13,8,134,63,91,0.084,0.857,0.058,-0.3363,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,1,1,7,2,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,2,1,12,13,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,7,1,13,11,1,8,0,1,2,0,7,8,0,0,0,44,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.23450258417591324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838323290625491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19775017588882388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19186363573536186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255492133057718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107107976780666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973421590550486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035906127984841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4872622088682544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602264187138304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403695877412545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506900623821533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449602345278778,0.0,0.18499818890152125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264842019473505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749445801756614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrimzonGryphon,2019/02/15,"Anxiety is preventing me from living my life the way I want to be which is making me depressed. Help? Is the only real answer therapy + medication?

I have so many things I'd like to do, say. People I'd like to talk to. Events I'd like to go to. 

I'm missing out on so much in life, and I feel awful.",-0.4448051948051948,1.3733636969696974,3.1053246753246766,89.59227272727274,86.27272727272727,6.195670995670996,18.51948051948052,7.447530270364453,0.4273662337662341,228,6,53,4,7,84,45,66,0.159,0.675,0.16699999999999998,0.1431,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,1,6,3,0,1,0,8,12,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,3,10,11,1,6,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738197311219867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109704527053128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385136575157205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920767917268104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418122368418975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460232750486853,0.3590027238357549,0.0,0.2162905977364203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350244395180255,0.2483354113673756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24675594735669296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800624882827826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862914303385484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698137664914829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788006165322561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19478980280215552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687721694279287,0.0,0.0,0.2801155339406771,0.0,0.16273032956807212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447469030811624,0.19442564772541834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The-ONL-Channel,2019/02/15,"MY LIFE IS CHANGING Hi Everyone!! This is my first reddit post. I have worked soooo hard on my mental health this last year, I started medication and quit my negative full time job. I even started a YouTube channel about it. I’m just so proud of my self and I want to help other people get where I am! [The ONL Channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9t9PITtZfs9urlPfj2WE_Q)",4.389545454545451,7.695809090909092,3.182045454545456,86.94306818181818,79.30303030303031,5.724242424242425,24.91666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.2624303030303032,304,11,52,4,8,87,52,66,0.077,0.7879999999999999,0.134,0.5814,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,4,9,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,10,1,4,9,1,10,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,33,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25449048667158763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889379475894044,0.0,0.0,0.2298743347958129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20462817645013956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568756252785793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21550289574304768,0.0,0.0,0.2557139823102815,0.0,0.0,0.16124857238603738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387279713559852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960961384217216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699212548849904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423483230674844,0.24243733441119705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667805051259608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23039894931359556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25587512878991897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25096631082849624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405524653009797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027792960885752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189404266416122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751373607271137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549187817727335
mentalhealth,LozAlice,2019/02/15,Love & Kindess The hours are kind to those who know how to love,-0.4357142857142868,1.8118882857142853,-1.0599999999999987,115.13000000000002,94.71428571428572,2.8000000000000003,14.142857142857142,3.1291,-2.0481714285714285,52,1,14,0,2,14,12,14,0.0,0.482,0.518,0.9153,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4158537004003669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37797165247841663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996749447696077,0.2109297705138526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6927998991198262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1GoodDad,2019/02/15,"Living with Anxiety It has been one year since my first anxiety attack. Things are better now, but there is still weight. ",4.836818181818182,7.434240863636365,4.2545454545454575,84.1518181818182,72.18181818181819,8.036363636363637,20.090909090909093,8.841846274778883,1.3755636363636368,97,2,17,2,2,29,21,22,0.192,0.7290000000000001,0.079,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,3,2,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4828450868978511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590248088330173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27911030672442483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684374207482661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786683551376033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21384934488486584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610561271564961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520275096551031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096614173076411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38429891526967097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032271358029185
mentalhealth,bennettvictoriarose,2019/02/15,"someone sent me gorey images and i need help i’m on a discord server that is decent at keeping back people out, but sometimes there are stragglers. two people got through and began sending me pictures of people with their heads blown off. my mental health is doing better than ever but i can’t handle shit like that. i’m at work, babysitting, but i can’t calm down. what can i do to help myself feel better?",1.6454999999999984,4.314182550000002,2.575000000000003,90.85000000000002,86.0,3.2,19.25,3.1291,-0.4490250000000002,324,9,58,0,10,102,61,80,0.076,0.7070000000000001,0.217,0.9109,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,3,3,5,1,0,1,0,8,3,2,0,1,11,16,5,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,3,1,9,4,11,13,0,11,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,4,41,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955064517030938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3900281008193713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19945458662035886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114912647204707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763537390839587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22629628835280385,0.23438085141349585,0.0,0.0,0.2955925784237461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19599024910927226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772500697550612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222118178299948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349772059474896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4586001489331611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263397553685217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682866539069026,0.0,0.21807982410453786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539614989588804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605263949615594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Venice_Bx,2019/02/15,"I can’t feel any enjoyment in life anymore. This is kind of hard to write. For the last while, I (20f) haven’t been able to feel joy whatsoever. I struggled with anxiety for years and when my boyfriend of two years broke up with me, it’s like the anxiety decreased and a feeling of emptiness came over me. I’m not blaming the breakup for it, but it may have been one of the things that contributed to this. 

People always say to keep busy and to take up a hobby, but the thing is that I do keep busy. I play the guitar and piano and I do a lot of things. But it doesn’t matter if I have the busiest day ever, or I lie in bed all day - I feel the same either way.  I just go through the motions, but I don’t really feel all there. 

I’ve lost all interest in everything. I used to have loads of interests. But I’ll be finished my degree in a few months and I can’t even think far ahead enough to know what I’ll do after that, nor do I even want to. I’ve been seeing a college therapist, but it doesn’t seem to be doing anything. Everything I try doesnt get rid of the emptiness, be it exercise, meeting up with people or keeping busy. 

I’m afraid to go into just how dark my thoughts are with my therapist. He did refer me to the college doctor before but that was mainly for blood tests because my anxiety was preventing me from eating properly. 

The only time I feel halfway okay is when I drink. I’ve also began sleeping with my ex (whom I’m still in love with) which is great at the time, but I feel empty afterwards. 

I’m just at a loss here. Feeling so numb and alone. And I feel it’s worse because I have tried to be productive about it, and I’ve done the things you’re supposed to do. Any advice would be appreciated. 

TD;LR - living life as normal, but I’ve lost all interest in life and I can’t seem to feel anything but emptiness. 

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mentalhealth,Dark_Sorceress,2019/02/15,"How do I get through the next 16 days without having a complete breakdown? Hey all, 


I’m struggling a lot right and have been in a downwards spiral since the beginning of the year. 

I’ve been feeling down most days, overwhelmed and just plain exhausted. Regardless how little or much I sleep I have no energy. I have very little motivation and I’m too drained to tap any creativity for work projects. 

I’ve tried to make positive choices where I’m able to but it’s like drops in the ocean, too little too late. Especially because I don’t have the energy to be in any way consistent right now. 

I’m ordering too much take out, drink too much too often, kinda started smoking at work to somehow deal with my anxiety there.

I’m going back and forth between wanting to give up and build up the courage to kill myself and trying to keep doing things and get through the day anyway I can.

I feel trapped and miserable and desperately need a break to recharge. 
I’ve asked my boss a while ago for 3-4 days off in a row wich would make such a difference but it wasn’t possible. 
So I’m still trapped BUT I was able to get 2 weeks holiday approved so that’s what I have to get to preferably without a complete breakdown. 

I’m really close to fully breaking down though, I don’t know where to find the strength for 16 more days of barely holding on. 

I have no friends and no one to talk to which definitely adds to my misery. 

I’m going to see an ADHD coach in March and will look into therapy in general to help with my other issues but I don’t know how to deal with it all alone right now. 

TLDR: I’m overwhelmed, depressed and exhausted but need to get through 16 days till I can hopefully get to recharge and look for help.

And tips on how to keep going?
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mentalhealth,nacider,2019/02/15,"Need advice about my mother Apologies if this may be a long read but I really need advice, I’m completely lost.
 
From a young age all I’ve ever known is my mother being in and out of hospital. She has schizophrenia, BPD, depression and probably other things too. She’s very secretive about her illnesses so I don’t know the extent of them all. She tried to kill her self when she was pregnant with me, she used to beat me, manipulate me and humiliate me. A lot of my childhood is a haze but a few memories stick out, mostly being left with my grandmother because my mother was sectioned. Sometimes my grandmother would be in hospital too because she was old and had health problems, she was the most stable person in my life. she was more like mother to me than my birth mother. So when my grandmother was in hospital I’d have to stay with my aunts too, but my aunts had problems too, mostly drinking. I feel like I didn’t have a safe place growing up. 
Unfortunately my grandmother passed away 7 years ago now so I’ve been left as being my mother’s carer, something I didn’t ask for or want. It sounds horrible saying it, but growing up with her was awful and even now she still manipulates me. I get phone calls up to 10 times a day from her, she constantly texts me, if I don’t reply because I’m busy at work I get abuse saying I’m a piece of shit for not replying to her. There’s been times where she just shows up at my home. There’s been times where I’ve just lost it at her screaming but there’s no emotion it’s like talking to a brick wall. Recently has been extremely tough as my friend just killed herself a few months ago so I’ve been struggling with that and trying to heal myself but every day I’m getting harassed by her, I don’t have a breathing space. She’s actually sectioned in hospital right now but she continues to escape. She wants me to visit her every day but when I visit her she sits in silence or we have the same discussions we’ve had for years. I feel like my own mental health is deteriorating because of her. She has psychiatric nurses visiting her at home every day recently (before she was hospitalised) but usually they only visit once a week. I’m her next of kin but she asks the doctors to tell me nothing, I’m always left in the dark. I only ever get told ""she’s hearing voices again"" and that’s about it.
I just don’t know how to cope with her anymore, I just can’t take it. I just really need a break,I feel like running away and changing my number. I know she’s ill but this is just too much 
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mentalhealth,ramoulade00,2019/02/15,"Anxiety is killing my appetite. And pretty much ruining everything else. 

It's 5am where I live. My son and s/o are fast asleep. I've been awake since 3am. Can't sleep now, but couldn't keep my eyes open at 10pm and pretty much cut short our Valentine's day - night together. Sitting in the living room wishing this gastrointestinal distress and empty retching stomach feeling would go away.. and it makes me wish I would just feel better - more normal, all together. Anxiety makes me feel horrible. Not just mentally, but physically. I feel chronically sick nearly every moment of the day and I basically live with a constant panic attack that I've just gotten used to it at this point. My functioning anxiety is becoming non-functional though. I know I don't eat right, but I just can't stomach food, UNLESS I am relaxed. Which, is rare. I am a CHRONIC thinker, and I am SOOO effected by negative energy. Even not so negative energy, such as someone I love being sad, I feel it too. It constantly feels like I am feeling my feelings, and everyone elses. This and many other things, like major and basic responsibilities, causes me to constantly feel overwhelmed and over stimulated. So i find myself struggling daily with hunger that i just cannot sate. I wake up sick daily and can't stomach breakfast in the morning, and by several hours later I feel so sick that I feel like I could throw up. 99% of the time if I am eating it's because I have to and force myself. Even thinking about food makes me sick and nauseated. My s/o is very supportive and wants me to be better, but we just haven't been able to figure out how to fix me. Long story short, I have a long history of trauma, abuse, and these eating problems have occurred since childhood. I've always been very sick, mentally and physically. And on my own or responsible for myself most of my life. Fast forward, I'm still not happy with life. There are certain things in life I'm not happy with and I set such high expectations of myself. It feels like I am being crushed by responsibility and pressure. I am 24 and in college online for computer science and I love school, but I still don't feel fulfilled. Financially I have lived in poverty for what seems my entire life and I have been trying to improve my life, and now my familys life but the obstacles never ceases I don't have any help outside of my son and s/o. They're really all I have. I dont have money to go out and ""treat myself"" or get my nails done to relax. My anxiety and depression prevents me from distracting myself constructively, and even then my options are limited due to financial difficulties. I dont want to bring up my past or some current issues but, for the sake of trying to create a brief visual...
 I love my son and his dad and I want to be better for them and myself. I am 88lbs right now and this is starting to really scare me. I don't want to end up in the hospital. I need to fix this somehow but I have no idea where to turn. I never go online to strangers for anything and this is definitely a first, but I feel a need to reach out. I have no other idea where to turn and I'm so sick of punishing myself for, idk what. I keep asking for a miracle.",3.1940909090909098,5.220985525477708,4.740479444122759,81.41274290677477,75.11464968152866,7.815680370584829,26.067863346844238,8.63018909878101,2.001030828025478,2522,92,481,51,55,845,279,628,0.215,0.642,0.14300000000000002,-0.995,1,0,0,0,1,0,79.0,2,0,1,6,30,33,4,7,14,0,51,31,7,8,5,126,99,57,1,16,24,4,14,4,0,2,14,0,1,0,24,44,7,4,23,2,1,7,22,16,0,1,6,15,80,17,66,85,9,68,0,4,1,3,13,31,0,9,34,332,104,3,0.061368665759706974,0.07271183384676543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051063646053390296,0.0,0.0,0.041732797137819036,0.0,0.18778744533100414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05050118297103736,0.0,0.0573714183243951,0.0698157167699085,0.05765788161418891,0.0,0.0,0.037409769043755335,0.06777686984039764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282679337820755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304252451221289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989531782049542,0.0,0.04899788599534479,0.0,0.0,0.07915542502392604,0.0,0.052856741894448785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280145181783822,0.14384723844080627,0.0,0.0,0.1883863973291484,0.10253129117408086,0.0,0.05435442267806902,0.0,0.0,0.12160027485784568,0.0,0.05170574771140395,0.058640390029794785,0.055154199710413236,0.0,0.057852916406865774,0.0,0.4344177786227669,0.13152536124232167,0.0,0.0,0.056089848717251416,0.052200155745009316,0.14841446846547332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03206259496117553,0.0,0.10463168097809668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065617169382196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04113412306277639,0.06483936474868482,0.0,0.0,0.06043577399696942,0.0,0.0,0.13855550764607924,0.0,0.06405294297321706,0.0,0.10909457969418844,0.06789533613883728,0.0,0.03372661377227424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600790210788553,0.11992652095660168,0.0,0.2167586247675928,0.10861867607610147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661628505224473,0.0,0.1228921827903113,0.062218194887376226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236903620431082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090226061005135,0.0910081761225648,0.09466259658424918,0.0,0.0,0.05759033558805566,0.06012826264302878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200290665131491,0.0,0.0,0.058583335476912086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058013225248680536,0.0,0.0,0.12486799102242402,0.0,0.0587215251126942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862867744032909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481701049219364,0.0,0.0,0.06144074027576784,0.06210836606552225,0.0,0.055867728461742636,0.0,0.0693291244122448,0.0,0.10152958896544664,0.0,0.061412985476184914,0.0,0.051997471349352085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043437057487509804,0.0,0.0980181914976785,0.0,0.0,0.06415585401791446,0.0,0.0,0.06964043465252391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154122928666943,0.039322563060703565,0.06029440252317723,0.0,0.03578456251822218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333059141164499,0.1335029717811415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300282339600285,0.0,0.10127115259672874,0.1447873162895141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114187397531106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871890788053149,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jnitamac,2019/02/15,"My first experience having a panic attack It was last night in my sleep. I currently have a little legal situation and suddenly just thinking about that, my stomach dropped and I had to run to the restroom. I got no sleep at all. It was intense for about 30 mins but lasted for hours.

Now today it’s like, whenever I think about it again my brain just thinks that’s what it has to do. I start to get the horrible feeling in my stomach and I shake.

So now I’ve slept about 3 hours in 24 hours. I really want to sleep. I’m not thinking about this stuff on purpose it’s like a fleeting thought and it all comes on.",1.35901098901099,3.5459725079365114,2.986825396825399,90.91159340659344,81.85714285714286,6.099145299145299,23.184371184371184,7.321109707123232,0.8973792429792424,480,17,103,7,13,158,76,126,0.102,0.7979999999999999,0.1,-0.2975,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,11,5,1,2,5,0,7,7,7,0,2,18,20,6,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,0,6,0,0,3,2,3,0,1,6,1,12,2,18,14,2,26,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,17,70,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414238579142816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708798469207552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185864615953416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973455140773895,0.0,0.0,0.07739819699593928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302036286482426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997420981302415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224262857974788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4522375630262088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24954949244379884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956725681035854,0.15341913943135796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364843479134198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959792620193854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806234265423484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206021845264122,0.4595499826196735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834570169298413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752317109971438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3923314269990428,0.0,0.1215226890902261,0.0,0.0,0.14509509730743694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902862917460639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wafflediva,2019/02/15,"I really need a different therapist BUT... I am schizoaffective and I have really been struggling for the past few weeks. My head is super loud and my moods are all over the place. Usually I am very flat affect but not recently. 

I have a therapist and I want to tell her about all the struggles going on in my brain but I hate my therapist. In fact I’ve hated every therapist I’ve seen except one. So clearly the problem is me not them. 

It always starts out ok then nosedives. The first one just told me I needed to take more vacations and relax and didn’t take my concerns seriously and seemed to just want to retire. All she talked about. Hated her. The second I don’t recall because I was mid psychotic break but I remember yelling at her and hating her. The third thought I was lying about everything and asked me for proof (like she wanted to see my mom’s death certificate) for everything that happened in my life. Really hated her. The fourth fired me after 3 sessions because she said she could see I didn’t want to do any real work. The fifth was actually really nice. He was a trainee and we didn’t accomplish anything but I liked him a lot. But he wanted to work with gay sex addict men and I am not that. The sixth also told me she didn’t think I wanted to do real work and fired me. The seventh just didn’t want to be there. He wanted a different job somewhere else. Hated him. 

Which brings us to my current therapist. I’m not looking to change my world I just really want someone to talk to about what’s going on in my head. The voices are so loud. But my current therapist has told me that she suffers from bouts of psychosis and can’t leave her bed for days sometimes. That she believes in death with dignity and she wouldn’t make a suicidal person go to the hospital if they didn’t want to go and a bunch of other stuff that makes me not trust her. I mean what if she’s psychotic while talking to me? How could she advise me while her head is going crazy? But maybe it’s the voices telling me not to trust her. But if I get a new therapist I will just hate them too. 

Do I get a new therapist and start over? It seems so pointless. Do I give up on therapy? Except I don’t think my head should be left to it’s own circles. I just want to figure out what’s real, 



",2.033072100313479,4.1018957241379335,3.527037617554857,88.55808777429466,78.82758620689657,6.97680250783699,22.398902821316614,8.00094639256281,1.138437068965518,1792,55,372,32,44,590,204,464,0.19,0.7340000000000001,0.076,-0.9972,5,0,0,0,1,0,40.0,2,0,3,6,17,21,7,2,23,1,36,9,5,4,6,86,88,35,3,21,26,1,2,2,0,3,2,6,1,2,15,20,0,0,8,1,0,6,16,12,0,5,17,12,73,8,49,64,8,41,0,1,4,2,44,18,0,6,18,258,88,8,0.0,0.0,0.05427080363499677,0.06062697969323015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04447413681431253,0.04627492971989209,0.0,0.0,0.03781912189638625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576521406859093,0.0,0.051991163108801294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780300926914469,0.0,0.0,0.062657427858241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062083115662019815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058831763092132165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880579065925616,0.0,0.0,0.035866139739615915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620864855814372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04645798586541953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04685681549174906,0.0,0.0999637476997909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047304858253601936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05811157029071004,0.053349585887482814,0.15803231385244074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049178879673182484,0.0,0.0,0.3843480768127831,0.22830219222755416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05518786826953187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888672077420189,0.060424286118559364,0.0,0.03928149591152336,0.05433994394970795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04670137639012918,0.0,0.0,0.04728065248390002,0.0,0.0,0.07424495456513032,0.0,0.05587128716518343,0.06057946094474857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513391903584449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247348709890327,0.0,0.1074238286275629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537036318711206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308942743956254,0.0,0.04855960780659605,0.05810432427907186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321465773896475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18990118991679586,0.17813732487467562,0.0,0.05491167255637284,0.0,0.06299931231312708,0.0,0.052901222580905134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863360001581011,0.10125697665513683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04712118147199197,0.0,0.055003224186828036,0.0,0.07872711558323889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627871745368792,0.06366421071604987,0.060832198585002835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362893864423288,0.13410019758911826,0.09721739005746392,0.0,0.06359894258382894,0.5165729550010841,0.0,0.07126983608407138,0.0,0.04415094757105508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15942339435800926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668962545961417,0.0,0.061250469640400665,0.04588700407493669,0.3608254474468063,0.0,0.04460983622727676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146198291697305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,o_geezio,2019/02/15,"Hard for me. First time reaching out. This is going to be hard to type. As I never post anything publicly online due to my high social anxiety. I will begin at the beginning and try not to make this too long. It all started when I started on Adderall at the age of 23(I am now 34). It got me through college and most of my career. Around 28/29 I started to have really bad anxiety due to the Adderall and went on to drinking to temporary relieve the symptoms. Eventually I lost a tech company I owned and lost all of my family and friends. In short, I eventually wound up homeless and am having a very hard time balancing finances and life. I started lieing a lot to fuel my alcohol addiction and started taking more Adderall to play catch-up from the weeks I went on a bender. I have been doing this going on a decade now and I am so sick of this cycle. Yet without Adderall I feel I can not work. (I work as a web developer). I know mental health issues are really high in the tech sector and I feel like I need to start speaking out. I am hoping this will help me as well as others who have gone through similiar things. I will add to this story, but I am going to go for a walk now. It is 2am here in Portland, OR and it is going to be another insomnia night. I will continue my story soon. I am also not on my medicine, which is Zoloft and Adderall. Which was supposed to help with the anxiety but it does not. Point being, I have to type this in segments due to lack of my medicine.",2.4378909831889963,4.197865463576162,4.25655629139073,85.23346408558332,76.48344370860927,7.162710137544575,26.51604686704025,8.012643519586192,1.6725558838512469,1158,45,235,19,26,392,150,302,0.068,0.871,0.061,0.0038,0,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,5,12,9,0,0,14,0,27,10,0,1,3,37,53,22,0,3,8,0,5,1,1,4,9,1,0,0,17,17,2,0,3,2,1,9,6,3,1,1,8,6,33,6,48,38,8,56,0,2,0,0,7,20,0,4,27,178,50,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160594064114874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137756106639144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513770511825053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163479735186438,0.2443296516491401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760923941735492,0.09477384273823464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889140888458437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316570356595344,0.0,0.0,0.1042923301648269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036299560325354,0.0,0.10766087597349516,0.07605654748814529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055661022654647,0.0,0.0,0.08225235650632662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025243321101182,0.0,0.08514746908012312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28610739837067944,0.0,0.0,0.11316423684786432,0.0,0.0,0.1427186067184395,0.2249661134945904,0.0,0.10574088977125846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111187755650209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850878745566025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519733164203371,0.052012005802928266,0.0,0.0,0.09421561078088768,0.0,0.0,0.2324319227548393,0.0905102726508079,0.0,0.0,0.07106428028806347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728875943429593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894030022456326,0.08211013683356906,0.0,0.0,0.09990747150523917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064109870652782,0.0,0.10196126560645448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640469829964985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852470668116936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521265457711498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065488838494687,0.08004625190784632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707286904849163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415781653678094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228077942213225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878423843952981,0.0,0.0,0.08539747714381911,0.0,0.09572221597115756,0.19738287172444666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262566795740154,0.0,0.15501135754230574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlexFGSmith,2019/02/15,I'm posting this pretty late I have done two different posts not on this sub 1 I want answers to the other I just had to get off my chest the point of this post is I want to be happy positive but I cannot im sad hate myself have no friends I want to share my story so I can help myself relax yes it's reddit but reddit is a place where I can say what I need to say first I want to state I'm a victim of being molested second im reaching out because I need to socialize.,-0.7727881619937698,1.1032876635514055,2.33422897196262,94.20888239875393,88.25233644859811,5.061993769470405,17.327881619937695,6.42735559955562,-0.22861931464174434,368,9,87,4,12,131,66,107,0.079,0.583,0.339,0.9794,1,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,3,0,4,1,11,1,1,0,0,12,21,3,0,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,4,0,3,2,2,15,4,12,17,0,12,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,2,58,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136716850084504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737347912227471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17016959770777199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144385593468356,0.0,0.0,0.12847312233600575,0.0,0.08687822857720505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701587727355675,0.0,0.16417423982131166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145884324391396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35923754539217223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18757926896302635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24659978823126524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737347912227471,0.0,0.15719520674352064,0.0,0.4777716787524904,0.16917392181073798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644766022429041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950891755735406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243848769553368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39232213034884383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,la-an-ju18,2019/02/15,"OCD and acupuncture? Has anyone made good experiences with acupuncture and OCD? 
It is supposed to relieve some of the pressure which causes the thoughts and actions. ",6.794444444444442,10.528747703703708,4.527407407407409,78.63333333333334,71.96296296296295,5.0814814814814815,38.62962962962963,6.42735559955562,3.0094296296296297,136,8,18,1,3,38,22,27,0.069,0.7509999999999999,0.18,0.5514,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,8,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32149734560914234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4723331695753119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497649269940174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385651821091577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4350664274852477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3650235892312381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmberStar91,2019/02/15,"Internal Drama Triangle? Anyone else feel almost like they enact Karpmans drama triangle within themselves? I go through the whole thing of feeling like a victim, persecuting myself, and expecting someone else to rescue me.  When I don't get rescued, the victim and persecutor get worse and worse and worse! Until I find myself crying myself to sleep.

How do I break this cycle? I can't rescue myself - it's too difficult and even if I could, isn't that feeding the triangle even more? Anyone else?",4.630062421972532,7.567454752808992,5.635205992509363,72.27418227215982,74.50561797752809,7.551061173533085,26.742821473158553,8.515128840125781,2.60943345817728,399,15,57,8,9,131,58,89,0.248,0.629,0.123,-0.913,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,5,5,2,0,4,0,5,2,1,1,0,13,10,9,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,3,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,2,12,2,6,9,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,4,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043420895070194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380204746564879,0.34878717754307004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589363682925915,0.0,0.186960541140944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265495264765919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22483559925340665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721199967278605,0.12159340694956584,0.0,0.0,0.15556290596117614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17784859680973109,0.0,0.09673056545761502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630565537685993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703264084841159,0.0,0.14421286437255684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307563555238676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900261177761425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5203556902561064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hottdust,2019/02/15,"Anxiety based on A Stutter Throughout high school and my first two years of college, I have given close to 15 speeches. My anxiety regarding these speeches has been little to none at all. I don't think I have stuttered a single time during these speeches, despite a few mispronunciations and stammers on complex words. Nothing out of the usual whatsoever. The problem lies elsewhere. If someone were to ask me my name, it is likely I will stare that person in the face for 10 or more seconds because I physically cannot say it. The same goes for other peoples names. It takes me close to 30 seconds to say, ""Alexa, turn off the lights"" at night, with no one else in my room. I spend a lot of time talking to my friends on the phone, and I stutter on occasion.  If someone calls me, I sometimes physically cannot say hello. With my friends, that isn't a problem. Anyway, I am extremely terrified of having to experience these things, so I avoid as much as possible. I get haircuts as rarely as possible because I know I won't be able to tell the barber my name. I'm taking online school this semester because I can't pronounce my name (which is a simple name) during introductions on the first day. I suffer a lot of anxiety over this. I also don't like to go out that much in general. I've avoided the doctors as much as possible. I avoid events that are not mandatory. I genuinely get frustrated and annoyed when I go out, sometimes anxious. I live a relatively privileged life regarding finances, family and health. Any suggestions are appreciated.

​

Things to note:  
\-This is does not occur 100% of the time  
\-I am a little bit of an introvert, but I socialize very well with my friends and most people I know  
\-I don't leave my house often, but I do spend 2-4 hours a day talking with multiple friends  
\-I am 21 and male  
\-I have never been diagnosed with anything at all",5.636993964716807,6.67418993593315,6.382468662952647,75.94588498142991,67.46796657381616,9.437372330547818,34.456940575673165,9.621722640351123,3.37567121634169,1493,70,269,31,24,491,189,359,0.1,0.835,0.065,-0.2811,0,3,0,0,0,0,57.0,0,0,0,2,6,20,2,3,21,0,27,5,1,0,3,48,40,21,0,4,7,0,0,2,4,2,4,6,1,2,17,17,0,3,4,0,3,2,13,12,1,6,4,8,40,8,46,33,14,38,0,1,1,0,23,22,0,7,16,192,57,5,0.09244327467457657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392685335842364,0.0,0.10016224948751147,0.112328697150249,0.06286459679367501,0.0,0.2121565562930441,0.1044345874502786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607293837970097,0.0,0.08642198289594058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690576866425028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092411334640984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439491922046953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923652904759816,0.0,0.0,0.09382797787905042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461960878637653,0.08089773263195672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722449392868957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904272611053982,0.0871472921224342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572644044270521,0.0,0.0,0.2856857787924805,0.0,0.09659559112401978,0.0,0.10507528670732544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826287813666516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767139518166294,0.0,0.0,0.09103800427482442,0.1066671273028192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160881232131223,0.0,0.0,0.09788408012523568,0.0,0.0,0.06529541877507923,0.090326229031661,0.18530489388714155,0.08162910517695493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718393265107802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386933063597265,0.0,0.07129795237614565,0.0,0.0,0.0867517510029224,0.0,0.08870181525916147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264195537024604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817705393112422,0.08071790174251367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31264770701499184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17691145825324373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22054380726774472,0.0,0.18711505856312546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942342768746408,0.1566537732840073,0.0,0.18285752484313805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390116756955967,0.14860480498883286,0.08079949666784669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283040804187427,0.05923391771563804,0.0,0.0,0.16171325061560365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055173709136896,0.09030364682388806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181320676657346,0.0762753830494477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311760592342042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112328697150249,0.0595304380186123
mentalhealth,suzymae2point0,2019/02/15,"Psychiatrists and difficult patients I have a psychiatry appointment coming up! My first one! Waited for months to get this bad boy! I have been asking questions around the internet to prepare for it because I am only going in for certain issues and I have gotten some responses indicating that I seem over confident in my self-diagnosis and the psych will view me as difficult and write me off or turn me away entirely. I am also expecting drugs and was told I would seem like a drug seeker. It's more that I predict drugs, not expect them exactly. So okay: I will not mention a self-diagnosis and I will not ask about drugs unless the psych mentions a specific drug first. I definitely will be friendly and polite and acquiescent. Cool.

But what are some other personality traits that tend to red flag psychiatrist that a patient is too annoying or difficult to treat?",5.0140431266846335,7.517143364779876,6.205323450134772,70.80183962264151,71.32704402515724,9.825876010781672,30.85399820305481,10.125756701596842,3.7432224618149146,701,31,115,21,14,234,103,159,0.08800000000000001,0.779,0.133,0.7539,0,0,5,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,5,11,1,0,8,2,15,5,0,0,2,29,27,15,0,3,7,0,0,1,1,5,5,0,0,2,9,10,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,5,0,3,4,3,17,6,17,17,3,12,0,0,2,0,11,7,0,7,4,89,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027122313418264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433750589075613,0.2401453408868988,0.0,0.1206722096076212,0.0,0.1072407923254806,0.07829492456257398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063840504068098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7447394847733679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21849946474835807,0.0,0.0,0.09923127547487977,0.0,0.06710382121925032,0.0,0.07299456602234639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405643676209816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627485690994693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251839460307004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703325949094977,0.09768327575073253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121475542453774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438805275526779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23385119433794896,0.2679787580439004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272850196783285,0.0,0.0,0.13970421859940255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123903357647116,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinheadlarry47,2019/02/15,"Freaking out It’s been a very rough couple of weeks. My job (waiting tables) doesn’t give me the best hours so I don’t make a lot of money. I overloaded myself with school, fell behind really fast, and ended up withdrawing from the rest of the semester. My parents are telling me I’m stupid for doing that, and that I’m gonna end up never going back to school. I want to go back, but I’m so worried about money, and I still owe 2k for this semester since I withdrew kind of late. I’m trying to find a second job (not waiting tables) but no one wants to hire me because all I have on my resume is serving at restaurants. I’m pretty sure I stressed myself out so much that I’m starting to get an abscess in my mouth and it hurts so freaking badly, and my dentist is back at home 8 hours away so I have to find one near me that I can afford. I just am freaking out, I don’t know where to turn. I think I just wanted to get this all out without crying in front of anyone. I’m far from home, this isn’t new. I’ve been here for 3 years but why now am I freaking out? Why does everything seem to be falling apart? I know it seems dramatic but I’m so lost and sad. ",2.472931726907632,3.2656022570281174,4.0692570281124505,90.52669678714862,74.62248995983936,6.657831325301206,23.87349397590361,6.691623216298621,0.6050819277108439,898,25,204,7,18,301,135,249,0.18600000000000005,0.758,0.055,-0.9889,5,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,16,13,1,1,7,0,16,2,1,1,4,38,45,16,0,3,8,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,10,12,0,2,7,0,3,5,8,10,0,3,3,1,26,3,37,40,6,38,0,3,0,0,3,17,0,3,16,133,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212550209346724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035046745832247,0.2709411123009903,0.09806791142879903,0.07159793918738745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232591272723145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299589306618442,0.1290160296926191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278345320604024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805606390770054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555871200852464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21469887038278254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272814202809305,0.11267111732111718,0.13350189755661165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356288197437688,0.0,0.2313340596311439,0.0,0.1257353047191664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331069183409616,0.0,0.0,0.12230867963264287,0.12909761827395622,0.0,0.1324915087464182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821325198896708,0.09985389491621828,0.0,0.0,0.07840043973304317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634108408163924,0.0,0.09058659017156684,0.11343633316954703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591776748014603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041707498404692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949139297302246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524306363897644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377363523087322,0.0,0.2138486458049402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097157901829949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313346700516241,0.0,0.09379769901680206,0.0,0.13454141437537231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069756859414699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026586409116563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525880406851718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974252139009022,0.12775456651097988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691059328081536,0.20782954022003172,0.0,0.09421329158655398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21196518196986455,0.0,0.0,0.1132199955187475,0.0,0.0,0.11927869061063898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563554368400249
mentalhealth,jasoncaz_81,2019/02/15,"Holistic/Alternative Mental Health Treatment Centers in SW U.S I am looking for an inpatient treatment center that treats the mind/body/spirit in holistic and alternative methods. I started getting help for behavioral health and substance abuse 5 years ago. I was put on psych meds the first day I entered treatment (before a diagnosis was even established). Although I have remained clean from substances my mental health has still been a huge battle. The traditional model of psychiatric drugs has been a nightmare for me.

I work hard through therapy, support groups and healthy lifestyle choices. I work in the behavioral health field as Peer Support for those fighting the same battles as myself. 

As I've slowly titrated off most of the medications I was on but I am once again finding myself in a dark hole and really struggling to climb back out. Suicidal ideations, depression and overall lack of motivation have gotten to a point where my family and supports are pushing me to go back into a treatment center for my own safety.

Working in the field and through my own experiences I know how most treatment centers operate. I do not see much benefit (besides 24hr monitoring for safety) to going down that same route again.

I am looking for any experiences or advice on any Treatment Centers in the Southwest that may have a more holistic approach to treatment.

Thanks

",8.191995798319327,9.90472747478992,7.365871848739495,68.74695903361345,62.067226890756295,9.479411764705883,41.345588235294116,9.673873057562805,4.554368907563025,1121,63,160,21,16,346,141,238,0.123,0.777,0.099,-0.8385,0,0,2,0,3,0,22.0,0,0,0,6,9,11,3,1,16,0,16,6,0,2,0,22,29,14,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,1,0,4,9,0,0,3,0,0,7,1,5,0,1,6,4,20,6,34,22,9,38,0,1,3,0,3,21,0,4,10,119,24,5,0.0,0.13624453396633446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236705160605627,0.10193183700735137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639450131697286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684066725211364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978481550801581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415913904756839,0.0,0.0990408546367361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335207638572769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594991489785015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249648789199162,0.10840248715302303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509892124064578,0.09781056969951868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007761154040856,0.0,0.13070311354469313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300859524914707,0.0,0.0,0.4889166433244481,0.0,0.0,0.07707547905630392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319558361503863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931255435110568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772814292448798,0.11584048666303545,0.23176606669287206,0.0,0.11610727962707755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845309971081793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246076545665804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870286746649116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559686934085407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366563974182744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163226814452563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139062572299456,0.0,0.09183128876220886,0.0,0.0,0.12021268023996864,0.0,0.12578056925517433,0.3914684060001121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586748812281943,0.1315012672284591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25114261377239705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404989168751468
mentalhealth,CandyStripeLeg,2019/02/15,"Do I have a right to be hospitalized? I have huge problem with anxiety and compulsive suicidal thoughts and it's getting worse every day.
I haven't left my house for a week, because everything outside feels too loud and sharp and fighting those suicidal thoughts takes all my energy.
I've been at psychiatrist once.
She gave me two different antidepressants but it didn't help me. 
I'm going there next week and I'd like to be hospitalized because I can't fulfill my duties anymore ( I'm sorry if this sentence sounds weird in English. I'm not a native speaker) 
So do you think I have a right to be hospitalized? 
And if so is there any possibility she'd offer me that herself?
Because I feel quite uncomfortable about openly asking her. 
I'll be thankful for any response. ",4.251275026343522,6.614488342465755,5.358493150684932,76.6480979978925,73.10958904109589,8.327924130663858,31.77871443624868,9.057496981413335,3.0820311907270814,622,30,109,14,13,205,94,146,0.17800000000000002,0.735,0.087,-0.8866,1,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,6,5,1,0,4,0,15,0,0,0,1,20,29,11,2,3,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,8,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,5,6,17,2,9,19,1,12,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,2,5,66,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179788135248148,0.0,0.1226064610315008,0.0,0.15894522752497425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983124250320756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29309814928527783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336118601029352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744851588190113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503477254741056,0.0,0.1440407525774446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620751174353999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373469893574682,0.0,0.0910853942260034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107425909063764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18493058921447092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413432062612305,0.0,0.0,0.07830004978443264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044944939560036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17068280619074408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068085934508765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335718248361854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704673592474231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737401893869373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940965523107988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506197343236542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205034378637391,0.0,0.0,0.14755550391821973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269483749699623,0.0,0.2544736811685333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656094841616425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571185867032849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332928811245193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brand21new,2019/02/15,What are some books that are metaphors/analogies for mental health? Winnie the pooh and Ferdinand the bull come to mind.,3.1750000000000007,6.002828285714287,1.0670238095238105,96.76339285714286,99.4761904761905,4.0047619047619065,19.535714285714285,5.985473137389443,0.12994285714285736,98,3,17,1,4,26,19,21,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358009686698677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5377639786429177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098433192689241,0.0,0.5108299215760471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ceelayee,2019/02/15,"i’m tired I’m tired of being dependent on Zoloft. 

I’m tired of thinking that I don’t need it, and then spiraling when I cut it cold turkey. 

I’m tired of crying to my boyfriend because I hate having to take it twice a day just to keep me sane. 

I’m tired of having those terrifying thoughts go through my head even with the medication. 

I’m tired of still having a hard time to do normal things, regardless of the dosage. 

I’m tired of the thought of me taking this stupid tiny pill every day for the rest of my life just to feel somewhat okay. 

But most of all, I’m tired of thinking that I’m not normal, that I’m useless without my antidepressants. ",4.941417910447762,4.899087582089557,5.47235074626866,85.66210820895525,68.70149253731344,8.491044776119404,28.690298507462693,8.07648339933343,1.607540298507463,512,16,112,6,8,165,73,134,0.298,0.691,0.011,-0.9908,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,3,0,6,1,6,13,1,1,1,21,27,4,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,0,12,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,2,3,9,1,21,24,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,6,65,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05870999395238687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579257460456276,0.12422462483042387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361218458884882,0.0,0.08114575986528033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04869748847443171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547354832215726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627530108545574,0.09508669098285574,0.09884237048971216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560520791497836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802696258662204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702270806204258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714130240088376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872770542960726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691369897688803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448270374713822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639844243984938,0.12342377397657996,0.0,0.15291957645121154,0.05615943382532941,0.8855581219281977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928398963383276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Adriennne89,2019/02/15,"I owe me my happiness So after years I finally got the guts to get help. I finally spoke out about my mental health and although I know it's only the top of the iceberg this is the hugest step I have ever taken to get better. For years now I have slowly lost more and more control of myself I am just not the person who I used to be. I lost myself in this never ending ""sadness"" (I dont know how to explain what I feel) and I literally feel like I'm drowning. I had tried before to bring forward that I needed help but coming from a Christian family  (well for the most part my dad isnt) I was just shushed and told it was all because I was losing my faith and that it was all the devils work or even God himself punishing me from my lack of faith and love for him. So I told my friends and they just said I was only looking for attention and that I was just being stupid and childish. Then I tried self harm and did If work? No. I couldnt bring myself to do it. I was too scared and one time when I finally brought myself to do it didn't bring me any kind of satisfaction...I just felt more empty. I continued to keep everything to myself the sleepless nights, the anger, the despair. I began to fake my happiness and I even began believing it myself. Until my senior year came. That's when I couldnt even get out of bed. The days I did I would come crying from school, Why? I'm not sure. I felt alone and all I wanted was to disappear to go to sleep and never wake up ever again. I would cry myself to sleep and soon the tears stop flowing and all I felt was emptiness. It was as if I was imprisoned in a dream. - Numbness. No emotion, nothing. I got myself out of it not completely but enough to be able to once again go back to school and focuse on my studies. I'm still not sure how... but I can feel it coming back so I finaly got the help I needed I talked to my doctor and she said she was gonna help me.I am gonna start counseling and getting tests done to make sure that it's not a chemical or hormonal Issues. I dont ever want to ever feel like that ever again,  I dont care what anyone else thinks I need to do this for myself I want to be happy once again- I need to be happy.

Sorry for the long post wanted to get this out my chest. I'm also new to reddit so like I'm trying to figure how things work around here. ",1.4263498063802338,3.098122137931038,3.308373132952241,91.29970887884936,79.14198782961459,6.023400331919603,19.723815231421725,6.883109765328512,0.1959456389452328,1806,42,400,19,44,607,213,493,0.181,0.6990000000000001,0.12,-0.9846,1,1,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,9,37,31,3,1,17,0,39,9,5,6,14,94,101,40,1,15,17,1,7,3,1,4,3,3,1,2,24,28,0,3,13,1,1,14,16,13,1,1,35,11,72,18,54,55,11,64,4,5,1,1,22,11,0,5,43,290,96,8,0.0657510711576643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809828023379719,0.0,0.052581107849576425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044712983087514514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045974677741990655,0.06736974250313317,0.0,0.05853239336691569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111703029766836,0.0,0.04008124269833382,0.0,0.055949318759953064,0.07407894133048057,0.0,0.05815147923483195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520170911914834,0.0670375991244193,0.0,0.0,0.16991617741382395,0.06893874714233275,0.0,0.07374541723038197,0.0,0.0,0.14444892846849544,0.04240400144629259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729900744131011,0.0,0.06728617407860397,0.2311792971250704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054926582959055496,0.07396110520014001,0.058235933093822925,0.06793843287508018,0.0,0.13028388715954908,0.29737804090985964,0.0,0.0,0.059092823102965965,0.0,0.06198425819196756,0.0,0.13298286870381515,0.0939451567454412,0.18939401836868675,0.21608125369876072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050799114473827386,0.0,0.17176110452247895,0.0,0.07473569794586013,0.0,0.15776141423833207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799729515341352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989031398189552,0.0,0.0,0.17628622809554426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862703562401709,0.0,0.05844257312416363,0.0,0.06846962256327474,0.07227013833837839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636795645823594,0.0,0.0,0.05818762890898752,0.055214339942012934,0.07355863015277805,0.14355012248781834,0.0,0.05934290881300255,0.0,0.043889350563175895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626161490994502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19501434453844232,0.10142255900350464,0.06350279424492987,0.0,0.0617029261817553,0.0,0.06308992609197436,0.0,0.0,0.14004548980018108,0.04455462746752968,0.10001330494428824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120200266864084,0.0,0.0,0.05741129919783084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297135089424709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250886510294609,0.0,0.06582829259592607,0.13308718858742594,0.0,0.0,0.06859270699323178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159711158981918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736029410415234,0.046538946584300786,0.0,0.0525088903606318,0.05497083962588172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590881930240208,0.0,0.0,0.05284822039022133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04368209005964236,0.042130631485940366,0.0,0.0,0.038339978348141734,0.0,0.0,0.12565593238280093,0.0,0.1339219839071701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056787814587877995,0.0,0.0,0.15512674128120954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591181093569428,0.0,0.05933011479489093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360268868277284,0.0,0.0,0.09341534892002568,0.0,0.0,0.1270246022759675
mentalhealth,BlazikenGaming2004,2019/02/15,"hello hi my friend said that hes been recently noticing that i have self confidence issues and its probably getting to and unhealthy state. its probably all because anything i think is helpful tends to screw things up even more, heck, when making videos i just delete them and start making something else because i don't think anybody will like it. and along with that i just feel like a total failure because i don't have and friends besides 1 and  all my grades in school are terrible and i don't think i'm doing anything right or good enough to satisfy anybody can anybody tell me whats wrong with me?",8.091752873563216,7.455432715517241,7.106896551724138,78.54442528735633,62.36206896551725,9.802298850574713,38.298850574712645,8.841846274778883,3.30934367816092,489,22,89,6,6,149,77,116,0.135,0.7040000000000001,0.162,0.5181,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,4,8,1,0,1,0,12,1,0,2,3,22,23,9,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,1,0,1,0,1,8,10,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,2,13,5,8,20,5,7,0,0,0,1,10,3,2,1,5,58,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801322948357353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112704644219575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218640138360036,0.0,0.0,0.17586969306555691,0.0,0.11242035019298596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860619509170921,0.12159616569457762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630035546136689,0.0,0.08892631594406282,0.0,0.0,0.14276185073969647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408639968136568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765225337751336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663094285657911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272294571935477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378219744921965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670246249801557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805922532592674,0.0,0.0,0.14535614791360008,0.16190616806680272,0.0,0.0,0.1722589263345653,0.0,0.0,0.177563388128433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131033934519921,0.0,0.0,0.12047363922015797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876872712712227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130782010438337,0.32718599390043746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860950189216069,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blakstik,2019/02/15,"how to make them feel its not their fault i am a 23 year old girl. i am permanently moving away to other city, trying to build my life from scratch. I will never again see my family, i don't want to. i have faced a lot of abuse  from them in my childhood and also later. they love me but not me. They love the 'me' of their expectations.. i can not behave like myself around them. if i move away ,  it'll be better for me and also them. Sometimes, its better to hurt people for a while than to hurt them for a life time.  If i stay infront of them , i can not have peace neither can they. This is all i can say. Generally, if i leave, they will blame themselves firstly, how to not make them feel its not their fault.? no, i will talk to them about this or leave them a text about this.. 

​",1.4119715447154488,3.1839560914634184,2.632536585365856,95.66205691056913,79.54878048780488,5.348943089430894,17.640650406504065,6.079149491110277,-0.5164588617886174,605,11,141,4,15,194,88,164,0.14300000000000002,0.742,0.115,-0.457,0,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,0,0,16,3,8,9,0,0,6,0,15,5,1,4,2,26,23,12,0,5,11,0,3,1,0,4,2,1,0,1,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,10,4,0,1,0,5,36,5,23,18,3,16,0,2,1,2,21,4,0,5,10,112,44,0,0.0,0.17186235473300684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23199532669385056,0.0,0.1571632819239859,0.17625349658884967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912662243802425,0.0,0.0,0.2725613914239699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25657259754606304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674168172967982,0.0,0.14668483287707848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338076498900025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31056134509186617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071772720621761,0.0,0.0,0.2049083833839415,0.07086485512789653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331763138088415,0.2618293543076577,0.0,0.19364605727619624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083336609948936,0.0,0.0,0.11187268903432747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522071899040723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056047346298327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535080576949787,0.0,0.0,0.11558729671118967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345968104693751,0.0,0.0,0.15460564087168635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658693260793268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458071887490626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848047356005772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555515586853635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625349658884967,0.09340843542600416
mentalhealth,Imatheory,2019/02/15,"R/mentalhealth, What song(s) do you listen to that help you with your symptoms or/and your recovery? I plan to compile all recommendations into a playlist, listen to everything in its entirety, and keep those that assist myself with symptoms/recovery.

Everything music genre/type will be accepted and added to the playlist regardless of the own preferences in music.",9.281721311475408,11.079955491803284,8.347663934426233,62.375922131147576,59.65573770491804,12.657377049180331,39.84016393442623,12.161744961471696,5.8384065573770485,299,15,41,10,4,93,44,61,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,10,6,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,10,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,0,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7629468563640728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28450371907139593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772757426499575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4411720097724315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cadence_triggered,2019/02/15,"Hi I have panic disorder and PTSD. So one of my friends has a crush (I got a secret admirer note this V-Day and it's very obviously his handwriting) on me and I think he will ask me out tomorrow. I fucking hate being asked out or being surprised with gifts(it's a PTSD trigger for me, long story) and I have been having panic attacks all day since the note, and I don't want to miss school tomorrow to prevent seeing him, but if he asks me out I'll go major panic mode (bawling my eyes out in front of everyone and possibly fainting) and I don't know what to dooooo",4.80098901098901,4.742297572649576,6.258485958485959,79.9623076923077,69.0,9.42075702075702,31.244200244200243,9.23628265651192,2.5839020757020763,444,17,91,8,7,152,80,117,0.153,0.78,0.067,-0.8685,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,10,3,3,4,0,10,3,1,1,2,23,22,11,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,12,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,7,0,1,2,2,15,3,13,17,2,12,0,1,2,1,10,6,1,2,4,58,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385799035156866,0.1779037438217736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017030993461016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922393817099866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942688277270508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081806532322245,0.1445699109191316,0.0,0.0,0.08887381728919377,0.0,0.12507061096344524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439193560848505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594183565131994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839053738134593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596649070718077,0.0,0.0,0.5504313606720589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629388133564886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655974797039249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826394624185833,0.12461385556949706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293583652887738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002013802740496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290290927434088,0.09223641472701298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nanlov,2019/02/16,"Ive always hated the idea of conservatorship but.. I'm honestly struggling.  Feel like itd be easier sometimes even if I hated it.

At least I wouldn't have to worry about things..",2.0541428571428604,4.673188057142858,4.342500000000001,79.51375000000003,82.71428571428572,6.928571428571428,20.17857142857143,8.07648339933343,1.2997142857142854,142,4,26,3,4,49,30,35,0.255,0.501,0.244,-0.3599,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,1,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,9,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,2,4,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526046455474422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005131288955309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15350024286186933,0.21687912911910126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5994489907405931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427072643910825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831489062838346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002504819301235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173699493969595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20168647279833526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308302381833947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Joos-box,2019/02/16,"How to be vulnerable without breaking down? New to reddit, please redirect me if this is the wrong place! Any help is appreciated.

Every time I try to talk about something that’s personal, means a lot to me or I just care a lot about, I tend to tear up and it causes people to not take me seriously. This especially sucks when I’m trying to stand up for myself or convince someone. 

I am a pretty closed off person, I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve so I don’t have a lot of experience opening up, but I have no idea what is causing me to tear up because it’s not like I feel sad or angry. It just feels like.... a lot of *emotion* .  Is there anything I can do to work towards having this not happen? It’s just really hard to be trying to prove a point and then suddenly I start crying, and most people just stop taking me seriously :(",1.7346271929824546,3.677951070175439,4.035434941520466,85.16613486842105,79.23391812865496,6.614181286549706,22.383406432748536,7.6454224807358475,0.9789090643274848,647,20,135,10,16,224,104,171,0.16399999999999998,0.736,0.1,-0.938,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,10,9,1,0,7,0,14,2,2,3,1,32,25,12,0,1,13,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,5,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,0,3,18,4,25,23,5,21,0,1,0,0,4,12,1,9,9,99,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925724525826471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202264613404864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298303273308467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879268475676151,0.27968415784948675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953141859369615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312690926255826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146946336344806,0.0,0.0,0.13316037591607308,0.0,0.0,0.13766192118398232,0.09725065258076182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037850902742432,0.0,0.12194493053154268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16131363286653244,0.09124446281859357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367317842694664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330115992224746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4629283537712892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828449193385218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147432810730736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887495482738265,0.2377253498071087,0.14222593054666086,0.14942886737613234,0.12868599547172752,0.0,0.0,0.13849222878399475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720778396357344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534174033456612,0.10479882790297053,0.0,0.0,0.09635287400729353,0.0,0.0,0.1138100187754238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20470427574681746,0.10941540998451416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937796994457615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772681590211851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122358968436604,0.0,0.09910360236091914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883579534582753,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chochina,2019/02/16,"What is this? (Back story to situation sort of)

Okay so I had an EXTREMELY traumatic thing that happened with an almost boyfriend a year ago it involved lowkey stalking and definitely him trying to taint my reputation he even had one of his friends ask me for nudes constantly even though (at the point this guy asked me for this) I had a boyfriend and he had 5 of our mutual friends turn into absolute demons against me and he was constantly taking horrible pictures of me to make me look super fat and disgusting and that MAJORLY damaged how I see myself and now I can’t even talk to men that like me anymore 

Please keep in mind this is an EXTREMELY watered down version of my experience as I tend to block out everything that happened in this situation because it upsets me too much.

(Now)
I get extremely sick when I think back to what happened (I get extremely nauseous, I want to cry, I start shaking bad, and I feel like I’m panicking out of control) what could this be??? ",7.540802139037432,7.111127171122996,7.60460427807487,73.84808288770057,63.38502673796792,11.544171122994651,38.4860962566845,11.00357731598739,4.230891336898395,779,37,146,19,10,252,114,187,0.173,0.716,0.111,-0.9444,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,2,12,11,1,2,6,1,10,4,2,3,0,23,29,12,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,0,0,2,16,11,2,3,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,1,5,3,24,6,25,22,3,19,1,1,2,1,14,8,0,2,12,102,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055350634294182,0.0,0.13618177035801934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348728960672316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25427845695567153,0.0,0.0,0.2091472412071827,0.11355216426234856,0.08290276434972944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939297919760576,0.15253266952167086,0.1085828728735507,0.0,0.14938677884221907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26947503791352845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222571104735445,0.13303157165633803,0.0,0.0,0.06876438131970453,0.09715658331857896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101425371511104,0.0,0.14210607669874725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465882630957055,0.36078620549234897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088075472534633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288293887245553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420358014819827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907793332304263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731862469990738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997375104032656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215537076609014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928432682108345,0.12856151922065825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837233531053236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057335940848811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625967315437854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022531340123848,0.10930957391436406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035064221371383,0.08714165477033475,0.13361677368658031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233332040680392,0.14792613924741746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021480130724698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757787899575614
mentalhealth,holycass01,2019/02/16,"Confused and need advice I am a 19 yr old girl and recently started college and I have never felt more horrible in my life. Ever since I’ve started I’ve felt like a shell of who I used to be. I’ve been feeling numb, like my life is already over and that I have no future to enjoy anymore. I often feel like there will be nothing for me to enjoy in the future or that everything I did enjoy I can’t experience anymore. I have also been thinking how much better/easier my life would be if I was dead. I also self-harmed a couple days ago, but I don’t really have any emotion towards it and at this point I don’t care. But there are days when I’m happy, then that makes me think I’m just faking what I’ve been feeling. I know I should reach out and ask for help but i feel as if there is really no reason I should. I have the “perfect life” and I’ve never experienced anything traumatic, so at this point it feels like I’m just faking all of this for attention and there is nothing wrong with me. I’m so confused and I feel so wrong and I don’t know what to do.  ",2.076392559960844,3.3261803127753318,4.091328928046991,88.19155041605484,76.26872246696037,6.80655898188938,23.183798335780715,7.3871296695380915,0.8355161037689673,829,24,182,10,18,284,111,227,0.093,0.6970000000000001,0.211,0.9772,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,15,17,0,2,5,0,27,5,0,4,5,49,50,25,1,6,8,0,8,4,0,4,5,0,0,1,11,12,0,0,14,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,7,9,25,10,18,36,3,23,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,6,18,125,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140070110242188,0.10105522877904463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258032130701114,0.1823335152436425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752475857582877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261172118775853,0.0,0.0,0.09381331437464316,0.0,0.1065757787589324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082484050961284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162318711201134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614021365800426,0.0,0.14704274900821268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823606095392506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312065639712313,0.0,0.0,0.1024569717402912,0.11151509662708538,0.0,0.0,0.3458547410314651,0.1628850300997345,0.2189181536080285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135644938386375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641263414812705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253042100984091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220898142882838,0.2227810073045464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609671892838282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838040351521551,0.084530481614119,0.17584958233495754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218774546054072,0.0,0.11962513373034155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21553605749246316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606423853085607,0.11721227083268705,0.1125624801546368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892816543474445,0.0,0.0,0.09430301121269057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138134157856146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609479435545736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846047639803968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098321641979675,0.2492849390875844,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aj_thatdude,2019/02/16,"Kicked while down I'm so absolutely sick and tired of my mental health. It's wearing on me slowly, like crashing waves on a rocky coast. It's slowly breaking me down and I can't stop it. There are times when things seem to go well and I feel like strides are being made. Then there is the rest of the time when things may not go bad, but they always find a way to get there. Life kicks me when I'm down and my anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts are there, like a bully saying you deserve this, you're not any better than anything. While listening to that is ridiculous, things happen on a daily basis that my mental health uses to validate its bullying of me. The suicidal thoughts have started to creep much closer to the surface since the bullying from my anxiety has ramped up. I zone out while driving and wanna just avoid the sharp turn and go flying into the trees. I am starting to see things in the light of how much damage it could do to me as opposed to what it actually is meant for. Life is becoming more unbearable by the day. Each and every last thing I do is now quietly judged by my inner monologue. My mind is slowly crumbling and I don't care to fight it anymore. I'd much rather crumble into a pile of sand than to have to rebuild after each and every crash of a wave.",4.858862439917601,5.624191961089494,5.319890135042347,83.84778667887392,69.07782101167315,8.226047150377662,27.95811398489357,8.313332769828598,1.7892464637216756,1022,33,203,14,17,327,148,257,0.172,0.764,0.063,-0.9887,0,1,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,1,1,1,13,11,2,1,15,0,20,7,1,3,0,35,40,20,1,3,5,0,3,3,0,1,6,3,0,0,16,14,0,3,6,0,0,4,4,5,1,0,4,8,19,6,38,33,7,36,0,1,1,0,5,14,0,2,19,144,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.11869882751611717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101210587152608,0.0,0.0,0.08271639861797357,0.0,0.09305092306749477,0.0,0.12062985925816655,0.0,0.0,0.10009575843949407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156066928821067,0.0,0.13433699553573286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075768290207486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401563010712607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711615198100693,0.0,0.0,0.07844491788355068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049665266582884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615026286410869,0.08689651748771167,0.0,0.0,0.11117276106838173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354959569992114,0.0,0.207384992749738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756198480168898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258585970859819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914927192779388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718296835674728,0.17827507247273816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509457295602428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451602095630317,0.0,0.12281731062420145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682485481329173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672953408395868,0.0,0.0,0.09692784790112123,0.11073250810534373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061824905542124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218864817823054,0.0,0.0,0.10169283212349156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660992711967557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040465346236921,0.0,0.0,0.1931302048024339,0.14185342659165692,0.1398022619319586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230463553718652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050541293319824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654870043455624,0.0,0.0,0.10936503810400676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mandarinorangez,2019/02/16,"Extreme irritability/feeling out of control? Hi all,

I've been having some big problems the past few days. About a month ago, I made a change of medication to take Lexapro, Wellbutrin, and Risperdal daily from previously taking only Lexapro and Abilify. But over the past couple days I have experienced sudden extreme irritability along with weird sort of what I can best describe as ""out of control"" experiences. That is, I can function seemingly normally but I almost feel as if my body is operating on its own regard and I don't really have control over what it's doing or thinking. It passes after a while (within an hour) but when I reflect on it, my memory is almost like it is when you're drunk--I remember doing things but it's sort of piecemeal and bizarre. And I have sort of weird feelings and thoughts, like an almost uncontrollable urge to scream and rage and attack others. Mental health support is very limited where I live and as a result I don't have appointments to see anyone until the beginning of April, but I'm concerned about what's going on with me. Has anyone else felt this way before on these medications? I've googled and googled but I can't seem to find anything that's similar to what I'm experiencing so I didn't know what else to do but reach out here.",5.6481509161041465,6.982567397540983,6.353548698167793,75.07496142719384,67.64754098360656,9.0198649951784,31.566055930568947,9.325443323948027,2.89091832208293,1031,42,183,20,17,338,140,244,0.119,0.8270000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9386,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,5,7,11,2,1,9,0,21,4,1,5,1,52,38,27,0,3,9,0,3,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,17,16,0,4,11,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,5,7,15,4,34,33,5,30,0,0,1,0,1,12,0,11,17,126,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584937528951266,0.0,0.35871429431202545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698788958679045,0.1223492112955983,0.0982638982699903,0.0,0.0,0.13584561958200447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160874553569682,0.0,0.12531297228532065,0.0,0.0,0.13263710860495506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631948743569896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017839448198472,0.0,0.13212441331243727,0.0,0.1540185828226974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950273979123934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680546821714115,0.0,0.0,0.18113119291996546,0.0,0.1146519090546482,0.0,0.10913817982228392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786320801862049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692678456488027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175943690529422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562437451436859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166749644450091,0.0,0.10544083425491793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298821832910333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405851499690153,0.12033675686124813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531157615970062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699602139804036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081635556519116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279798839928741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425882782274033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649682548556813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526776050775866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515396390589563,0.21741196792512893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550456016244386,0.0,0.0,0.17956226550252374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933040958694447,0.07651282819509922,0.0,0.09479785703926914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852539733729336,0.0,0.09478175524626108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Iguesssowtfnot,2019/02/16,"Is it normal to have an “hour of depression” almost daily ? So, this is something that I haven’t really noticed about myself until a couple of my friends alerted me to it, and since then I have been noticing it about myself a lot. 
  
Everyday, almost always around noon or so I become super negative and depressed/depressive, like I’m not a very outgoing/talkative person, but I’m always friendly and polite, and I like to joke a lot when I’m talking with friends, try not to take things too easily and so on, but it seems like every day, for a period of about an hour or two, I just shut down, according to my friends I get this testing face that lands somewhere between sad and disgusted, I become curt in my response to them, and usually snap at them if they talk too much, even my jokes become really negative. 
  
But also according to them the whole thing just clears out on its own in a couple of hours so they just stay away from me when I’m in one of my “moods” and then come back when I’m back to normal..is this a normal thing or should I loom into it ? Keep in mind that according to my phisician (not a therapist, a brain and nerve guy, don’t know what they’re called in English...it’s a long story :P) I have health anxiety and general anxiety. ",6.629744615384617,5.686153956000005,7.2972,76.99736923076924,65.44,10.892307692307694,32.03076923076923,10.214889679676881,3.011024615384615,979,32,194,20,13,326,134,250,0.098,0.764,0.138,0.8490000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,5,1,20,14,1,0,13,0,9,3,2,0,1,41,20,28,0,4,13,0,0,3,4,1,1,0,0,2,16,15,0,1,2,2,0,1,7,3,0,2,1,0,24,10,35,18,5,34,0,2,0,0,14,15,0,9,20,144,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19775786584799396,0.0,0.0,0.07896640400276693,0.1643276320670342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510794303196488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790405548478708,0.0,0.0,0.09277425221217618,0.1518577411660608,0.0,0.0,0.3271685452545745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023216512523436,0.10082976602334708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506014207391112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21851910350992065,0.0,0.06368240698011136,0.0,0.17009798370472004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522019339419917,0.0,0.08319698790002834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051608123586064,0.0,0.05159022822602173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777315289178212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496140145170127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917320364083477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776916327983247,0.0,0.0,0.054267713012918335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472557338221648,0.0,0.0,0.0873862875908805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16789907002114293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970438073481903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258899482132268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902476355713817,0.0,0.22484385384488015,0.0,0.0,0.06691222107489445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622039420982187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651725224264565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989381131816661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168294975444383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601878606428032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052491157659504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424401043324873,0.2381026623155355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465064749832092,0.1968055283964175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704142684554737,0.0,0.09645959396438702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875375392168483,0.08147503159840865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024535431633692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lilmizzvalz,2019/02/16,"How do you deal with intrusive thoughts? The only time mine stop is when I’m asleep. Thank goodness I don’t dream about killing myself often. 

Sometimes it’s hard to escape and the only option I can see is ending my life. 

But I want to exhaust my other options first, one being as medication. Giving it a good try. If that doesn’t work then suicide is an option. It always is an option. Suicide is not going anywhere. So I’m not rushing into it. 

Except when the thoughts are overwhelming. I’m afraid I won’t be able to control my urge to kill myself. ",1.3838601398601398,3.901202309090913,3.0500000000000007,88.26653846153849,85.0,4.475524475524477,22.097902097902107,5.873414542411696,0.42822377622377594,434,15,81,3,13,143,76,110,0.193,0.679,0.128,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,4,13.0,0,1,0,3,6,8,2,2,6,0,13,4,1,2,0,19,23,9,4,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,2,1,0,2,5,5,0,2,2,2,11,3,9,18,0,10,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,6,7,58,17,1,0.17758551102295014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776537124977351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991772510147388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830828641110399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728805259409642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105414495652106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035620394031273,0.10092593837405006,0.2979006023170957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908173652738508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39294411292894177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543389826300627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889871941230706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033653821829995,0.2701235668851193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151266021167125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756366112514567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846943896799053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38849945152866905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349687918406866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819661185162986,0.10355153958233188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056890496548653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047445354832725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928436705793606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scmxx,2019/02/16,"How do you get help? How would you go about getting for something that you feels psychologically wrong with you? It's not so simple as depression or anxiety, I couldn't imagine going to my GP (I'm from the UK) and trying to explain how strange I'm feeling. Is there way to bypass all of this without having to pay privately to see a doctor. I'm not really sure what's wrong and I don't think a GP would be able to understand when I try to explain or pass it off as some kind of depression and prescribe citroplam again.",5.754559748427672,5.4336750849056585,6.773584905660377,77.96559748427673,67.01886792452831,10.085534591194973,32.76100628930818,9.725611199111238,2.9056591194968564,413,16,84,8,6,139,72,106,0.184,0.7659999999999999,0.05,-0.94,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,0,8,6,0,0,3,0,8,1,0,3,2,25,22,12,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,7,0,1,3,5,4,0,0,0,3,8,2,17,18,2,7,0,2,1,0,7,1,0,3,2,57,13,2,0.20094989768238286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372612170296565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461557048381336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20568073525416306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20321261227412293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20997605527575905,0.0,0.22840891549021505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469248057445346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20925839543281133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287336500715431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013105138190084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547010487596394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939290042129148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876058043363198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728635796572427,0.0,0.0,0.20919593036613268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950467533245247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937085304519957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854980835586754,0.4394143349445214,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dontknow462,2019/02/16,"DEPRESSED/MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING I’ve been daydreaming everyday 24/7 since I was 12, probably because I was in a foreign country, I had problem socializing since I was a kid, and I didn’t have anyone to spend time with. I couldn’t make friends and still cannot. 
I keep fantasizing a different life(I’ve created many characters). I cannot stop daydreaming, I have never stop daydreaming since I was 12, I simply cannot and I’ve tried many times. The more I daydream, the more I become unproductive, the more I lose interest in real life, the more I become depressed but I cannot stop.

I don’t have friends and I’m an awkward guy. I’ve really low self esteem, I’m almost 21 but never dated, I think I’m too much of cuck or pathetic to even approach to a girl. My life is school-house only. I never get out of my comfort zone because I don’t know what the heck to do next. 
The main reason I’m not doing well in school(I’ve failed twice) is because I’m not motivated and I’m depressed, I don’t have nobody to talk with. Going to therapist is too expensive (because my parents tell me to only study so I dont have enough money and I dont want them to know about my situation) is and I think they are just scams. 

I’m an ugly guy but I don’t know how but some girls shown interest in me but I don’t have enough confidence. I don’t  know how/where to have fun or how to joke or party. I don’t even know how to spend time with myself then how would I even spend time with a girl. I’ve no freaking life that I spend my most of the time in YouTube watching depressing shets.

I don’t know where to start, what to do? I’m losing my precious youth being sad loser.",2.4251482153660007,4.10941408187135,4.018082274652148,87.25973684210527,76.30994152046785,7.407299858842507,24.95099818511797,8.216663640201805,1.4561928614640038,1304,45,277,23,29,435,150,342,0.183,0.693,0.123,-0.9717,3,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,2,5,15,21,0,1,14,0,39,3,0,7,3,53,61,21,0,4,11,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,7,3,12,0,4,10,1,6,2,22,12,1,1,7,1,42,9,27,51,10,28,0,9,1,0,15,8,1,6,18,172,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038756448417444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311553042672921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22009932574316035,0.1993816553024617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23323586758196804,0.0,0.0,0.09430792773386136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115802970729785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653617329676395,0.0,0.1788579506805485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394773476485026,0.0,0.04715984429278891,0.0,0.051299796424201516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17875348975741692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415392785994702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023186204664809,0.0,0.0,0.2976443776836149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550279362967297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20196735192407075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060252725563956736,0.18302950130019535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635531205921197,0.0,0.2088542733676136,0.0,0.09599807004090738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730151251334582,0.0,0.0,0.10022882849413238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732115843284866,0.08637161104093677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274156537948664,0.05782620198901535,0.09280766485946243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827064139054436,0.0,0.0,0.09416629540241317,0.0,0.0,0.22400493218901515,0.10146187289853473,0.0,0.09201400959896486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638901770155655,0.0,0.07208590967899944,0.2263972607134557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725517529618486,0.07889576817018594,0.0,0.0,0.10480486072672654,0.0,0.11567659781634605,0.0,0.0,0.26317183598028004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128414934221388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053240756869901214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811592601220323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412181212202793,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,k9k9k9k777,2019/02/16,"feel like my mind is trapped in a box ? so for a very long time now, it's felt like my mind is contained in a box, i'm not really in control, and the box has no exit.

​

occasionally i'll find myself outside of the box.. this usually doesn't last more than a week. when i'm in the box i feel like i'm in a perpetual state of confusion.. i'm there but i'm not there (if that makes any sense). when i come out of it i feel in control again, my thoughts don't spiral for hours or days.. i'm not lost.

​

i don't know if i'm insane or what.. can anyone relate to this ?",-0.8255208333333357,1.1276697812500025,1.8426875000000005,97.05022916666668,89.46875,4.975833333333334,17.908333333333328,6.42735559955562,-0.3121329166666671,444,12,111,5,15,153,72,128,0.064,0.867,0.07,-0.254,0,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,3,7,5,0,1,8,0,7,0,0,3,0,25,23,9,0,2,8,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,3,7,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,3,4,8,3,14,20,1,21,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,5,14,61,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3257654507801101,0.3653353319231896,0.1022297013964068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511438183761307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949616927023724,0.0,0.0,0.3372162384272025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695055231234996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280344212074852,0.21479187158968305,0.14434058154280566,0.0,0.13739909325507302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804498028175522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261755481343043,0.12253918971572632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22033124906082,0.0,0.0,0.13303750985900473,0.0,0.0,0.16410318820178552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034658599659764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30358132610221344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630538529892688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934539884144316,0.08765875742183919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556749357858996,0.12403817141520472,0.0,0.0,0.12058583087548845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653353319231896,0.0
mentalhealth,RedHeadFan_02,2019/02/16,"I've started feeling a bit crazy since having my dosage of Zoloft upped (upped to 50mg). Cause for concern? I'm 16, was taking 25mg of Zoloft for a month to help with my anxiety and panic. It was upped to 50mg last week and since then I've noticed my mood changing drastically, like I'm filled with an insane amount of energy and I feel way too ""good"". I can barely sit still or sleep, the latter of which is hitting me really hard.

People are starting to notice and my friends have been asking if I'm on drugs because of how odd I've been lately. The first few days I didn't even realize I was acting odd. It's definitely getting worse each day (been maybe 4 days so far)

Now I'm wondering if this is just a temporary side effect of my increased dosage or if I should like get it checked out? When I first started off on the antidepressants I had some severe suicidal side effects but those eventually wore off, so I'm hoping this will too. ",5.548522727272727,5.2885140416666685,6.213106060606062,81.60613636363638,67.4375,9.273484848484847,29.43371212121212,8.841846274778883,2.0658479166666663,744,23,155,11,11,244,122,192,0.101,0.804,0.096,0.1977,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,4,10,7,0,1,7,0,16,4,1,4,0,26,34,15,1,5,7,0,3,2,1,2,3,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,6,0,1,3,1,1,0,2,9,3,13,5,22,22,6,32,0,0,0,0,3,11,0,8,18,91,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197958927807566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368446724208296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923132353440151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980803457011242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503716287206998,0.15484964880348678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832071750383619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975325102087604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668199639708652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802731381300518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24901992740885945,0.0,0.0,0.11309210777198835,0.0,0.15295404689544315,0.0,0.0,0.12277582052682393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311268965625778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811480629632972,0.0,0.0,0.1453874467535443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931848048021215,0.16512196882609767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302684118842504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470574523183793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683837858152532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33330708690096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717443016369885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014808175495798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377418165230934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536668599985513,0.0,0.2421725616828649,0.0,0.14648478502579007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108235813097634,0.0,0.11689851583361027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601149462762134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005884490141732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618889381840343,0.117416461957073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874185926559256,0.0,0.0,0.14917277968910456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maybeiDOneedsomehelp,2019/02/16,"I don't know how to explain to people how I feel I get upset by things being out of order. Biggest example being my kitchen. I know where everything is supposed to go. My partner doesn't even bither stacking tupperware or putting things back in the spot they came from. Any comment I make is ""freaking out"". I can't talk to her about any of it because the stock responses are ""Don't freak out"", ""Quit wingeing"", or ""Okay, whatever"" *exit room*.

I have what I'm assuming are panic attacks any time death, or the inevitability of death comes up.  Reading and thinking about lots of things trigger it: Sudden death by stroke, people having to kill themselves to avoid worse fates, extinction level events, earth being swallowed by the sun....the examples are legion and ridiculous at times. I took almost a week off work once because I couldn't focus on anything without feeling like I was going to have a heart attack. Just watched the movie Airplane! on repeat and ate delivery.

I can't deal with uncertainty when making plans. I'm currently sitting by myself in a cottage full of eight people because I started getting funny looks and comments because no one else thought figuring out how a dinner I was suppsoed to make was going to come together was all that important, despite not having anything to cook/cook with (they've solved it in my two hour absence {been having a bit of a bad spell}).

Nobody I'm close to understands when I try to explain. Family, partner, friends. And I don't know how to get professional help. Just at the end of my rope. Pretty down right now. Not looking forward to rejoining the group because it might be more awkward than staying here in the dark. Probably going to go do that briefly and duck out as quickly as possible without letting anyone notice.

",3.97925,6.6134857242424285,4.48702651515152,81.2605397727273,75.0909090909091,6.791666666666668,30.91856060606061,7.8658589789855275,2.473310606060606,1419,68,236,22,32,449,197,330,0.147,0.794,0.059,-0.9835,2,1,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,1,3,16,14,4,4,14,1,29,6,1,8,1,52,61,17,4,1,9,0,3,1,3,1,1,0,2,2,10,17,4,1,12,1,0,11,12,11,0,3,9,6,22,3,52,45,5,53,0,0,3,0,13,25,0,7,17,160,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012015008778762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20618198278440794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066665026699105,0.0,0.1663349492013915,0.0,0.0,0.22995092429897046,0.0,0.0777123643604758,0.08438463842164394,0.30803991448564144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103362616472167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559086738196125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741162407038084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419306472203216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844264238264214,0.0,0.08951315200094072,0.0,0.0,0.06675215097751577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083025849450256,0.0,0.09527461878672404,0.0,0.1022024985898987,0.07220050103738145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808218420889727,0.0,0.15840609438368491,0.0,0.2871864300408092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976192249662958,0.06774140591928943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952817742406038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181289846360323,0.0,0.16662722312158992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334530150470646,0.0,0.049375011132551584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697374573151729,0.0,0.0,0.08592142623140903,0.0,0.0,0.20238402131488387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721346644433057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506260635800915,0.0,0.1076303971581721,0.06848392270835449,0.0,0.0,0.1185774185435184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21019620322803192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393504175493332,0.0,0.10281893275404233,0.1089646275655794,0.0,0.0,0.10159773957807652,0.0,0.10749453906798907,0.10109185235056124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630853323604144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153397530099931,0.1077213129895998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123181914416464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142829484304905,0.06475805262741835,0.0,0.08023392625693948,0.11786304871464355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228638132364216,0.06861616339426692,0.0,0.09872533404835508,0.10521171170919393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106784807807778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948451485251878,0.0,0.0735761617550652,0.0,0.10299336259716367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Resevicole,2019/02/16,"Not sure if I need help Hello, first time poster and have been lurking for a while now. I’m currently 19 and just this year I’ve began feeling different at the start of the year (not exactly what I expected). I want to provide some back story to all these things I feel at the moment so let’s begin! 

Last month I began becoming more aware of my physical health and how unhealthy I am with my weight. 

- I would sometimes have trouble eating my food
- I would feel this sense of ‘panic’ that I couldn’t even take a bite out of it
- My heart was racing and my brain kept telling me to Google up all these symptoms (I would over analyze the smallest stuff and think I have a brain tumor or something)
- This would last for up to an hour or even longer
- This still happens today

Maybe this is some form of physical health stuff that my mind is overthinking? Could it be OCD? If anything I think it’s an eating disorder with anxiety. 

It goes more than that as well, just recently I’ve been having intrusive thoughts. Thoughts of just harming others. They come and go but they’re very scary to have. My mind keeps racing with all these thoughts. They tell me I’m some form of sociopath and just go on and on. The thing about me is that I’m not really emotional, I’m more logical and my mind (no surprise) takes that as some disorder. It’s like I’m numb to emotions. I’ve felt feelings before. I’ve cried (like when my dog died), I’ve felt happy, I’ve felt also sadness and hopelessness. 

I really don’t like self diagnosing myself but I just wanted to share how I felt. I want to feel normal again and not have these thoughts battle inside my mind. I’m worried about these intrusive thought because they scare me and my mind will overthink anything. 

If I do need help, where do I even start? Sorry for the long post. I just really want to know what other people think.  ",2.5647515527950304,4.776769543478262,3.260571428571428,90.413,77.75,6.597018633540372,23.014285714285712,7.658307877764058,1.0041570496894408,1464,46,299,22,35,460,178,368,0.14,0.789,0.07,-0.9789,2,0,1,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,3,1,22,16,1,2,11,0,25,12,3,2,5,85,68,27,1,17,17,0,10,3,0,5,5,0,0,1,28,17,4,2,19,0,0,3,7,8,1,1,15,10,38,8,35,44,12,37,0,2,0,0,10,9,0,9,27,195,66,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984417469217666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724728088242941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316288349700945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057542199783990784,0.0,0.04561769403529108,0.08264751668027508,0.06367763903639166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707745603358726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446227437980005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059748312508890525,0.0,0.0822008822455422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595423914479069,0.07766516595402866,0.07818488635418855,0.17153092369536746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314632609680845,0.0,0.1683548133936585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148280095677267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891898618926212,0.0,0.2874068699942847,0.0,0.0,0.0636531792159746,0.09048874112199927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505899450442694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617485300761,0.07966145496888798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908862822704206,0.0,0.08867783817321097,0.10031838678784738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369574091075436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665152884474824,0.0,0.0,0.041126432673522784,0.12199827862474115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652213434578063,0.0,0.10967933268947286,0.0,0.0,0.06622512860160383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518012285095069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778015761019543,0.0,0.0597312378052611,0.0,0.0,0.11097590921273147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332075974366843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780077100795668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187999798796191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166962959963642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382041275143612,0.0,0.07388887026235982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492120274582717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806746772349184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576103416455255,0.07401206167558927,0.08376976906131102,0.1059348105539473,0.0,0.05976198174872259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133248313004848,0.0,0.0,0.07052951344538141,0.07778046708981043,0.11253067899760108,0.0,0.13081523083870292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943185814673508,0.14385049918019047,0.0,0.2970464643640993,0.04363590756825312,0.0,0.07093323226206583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617453217681653,0.17655451138874365,0.0,0.0,0.09112681703608197,0.06728413699363674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759968635265523,0.0,0.21263775862971615,0.0,0.0,0.09638040226100583
mentalhealth,kskfkdbanf,2019/02/16,"I’m scared of being a person that thinks they have anxiety when they’re really just stressed You all know what everyone always says. You don’t really have anxiety. You’re just stressed out like everyone else. You’ll be fine. 

I’ve convinced myself that a doctor won’t believe me if I say I have symptoms of anxiety. I look like I have it all together. I’ve even mentioned it once to my doctors assistant and he just told me to exercise. 

I know you all aren’t doctors or psychiatrists but I need some advice. I want to know if medication will help me. I am an active person, I walk my dogs several miles a day, I eat well, I am in shape and in good health. I do work 12 hour shifts and alternate days and nights every two weeks so my sleep schedule is shit but my job pays so much that I could never leave. 

I have tried CBD. It doesn’t help as much as I want it to and any higher dosage wouldn’t be cost effective. Marijuana does wonders for me but my job does random drug tests and it’s not legal recreationally in my state. 

I wish I had more time to go to the gym but I can’t develop a consistent routine with my schedule and I literally can’t do anything but go to work and go home and sleep on my days I do work. 

If you have any advice or experience please let me know. I am destroying my current relationship because everything annoys me and I am becoming an unbearable person to him. I feel terrible. 

Here is a short list that I’ve kept of the things I do that I don’t think are quite right: 

-Obsessively overthink while bored on night shift
-Cannot leave anything messy or unorganized 
-Hate bright lights and loud noises at home 
-Stress if dogs are alone at home for too long 
-Get annoyed very easily with people I spend a lot of time with
-Don’t have any good friends
-Leave relationships around the year mark if they aren’t perfect 
-Have a hard time making eye contact 
-Can never stick with one hobby or project 
-Get in a better mood if I have been drinking 
 

Thank you for reading this far ",2.8595805555555533,4.923448152500004,3.935833333333335,86.63472222222224,76.225,7.544444444444442,24.61111111111111,8.430304187100639,1.5683027777777785,1591,54,326,31,36,515,213,400,0.12,0.716,0.16399999999999998,0.9638,5,1,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,6,2,7,11,25,5,5,13,0,42,14,4,2,6,62,66,32,0,12,19,0,2,2,1,4,8,3,3,3,13,17,2,1,9,4,3,4,14,12,1,2,4,9,52,12,31,53,8,39,0,0,3,0,23,15,1,14,21,200,65,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135949074723984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021113458743212,0.0,0.0,0.0644416256121554,0.0,0.0,0.15799866422140124,0.0,0.1777388981492473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746360973080093,0.06894373346814843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04721061885072392,0.08553348632512517,0.0,0.08725559460170731,0.0,0.06849506494656571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061834664563468686,0.0,0.0,0.14983960191256882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378090779213141,0.13554776823315,0.0,0.0,0.07586800752097367,0.08981325968484742,0.0792470222645589,0.0646965462715165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05115263005003156,0.0,0.06525194915637307,0.1480067465648553,0.06960384859632485,0.07575745964375236,0.0,0.0,0.03915923699836198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983491204173301,0.0,0.08092511602018962,0.0,0.13204375585932762,0.12991676548969047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937678036690215,0.07646230604978052,0.0,0.0823219229900238,0.0,0.0,0.10382140576190878,0.0,0.2330552218141624,0.0,0.07626912338812447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537072435068159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025010831433654,0.0,0.0,0.2460137294618565,0.0,0.07919421169004487,0.0,0.07567281776523796,0.0,0.0,0.06853764467646534,0.06503548749013803,0.0,0.0,0.0658421768441103,0.0,0.0,0.051696086786501685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780191204566787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386405972016116,0.05742553917128721,0.11946290717624287,0.0,0.0,0.1453564377664517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247790981034303,0.052479698577134665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05369159627163879,0.20286968030557112,0.0,0.08501291252732603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823738008262179,0.07746737818385008,0.0,0.09922831966778843,0.0,0.0,0.1662969433103829,0.0,0.06613881959056513,0.0,0.12317700344288665,0.07753737713999044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874924104463903,0.07949763727991728,0.0,0.0,0.15500470192211385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661438376217367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049648417053935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713022583574479,0.0,0.0,0.051451960208172366,0.0992490776792069,0.0,0.0,0.1354788910734825,0.0,0.0,0.07400337328242765,0.0,0.05258103551961492,0.0,0.07565389901581315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390140741347006,0.09135981026464643,0.0,0.06212284669428642,0.0,0.06963363259547997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905956099771234,0.0,0.08398733893657707,0.169145748607824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987295535262759
mentalhealth,Wizerddaniel,2019/02/16,All time low Im in 8th grade have amazing grades and im goint to regions for the history bee. I have 1 amazing friend cause im a massive introvert. But. I have bipolar anxiety depresion gender dysphoria and some others. Which has resulted in my cutimg myself. Is there anyone i can talk to.,1.2203947368421062,3.875465140350883,3.543135964912281,82.35049342105266,90.57894736842104,7.060526315789473,26.423245614035093,8.07648339933343,2.504019298245616,231,11,41,6,8,79,44,57,0.065,0.7509999999999999,0.184,0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,2,1,7,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,5,6,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,26,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20291404425491888,0.0,0.0,0.18546761487157104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27248282943015145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492999759394773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8595402833014354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21319634780232996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466828018596207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shuttyt,2019/02/16,"Blood brain barrier and chemical susceptibility As a little bit of background, I've been experiencing some medical and psychological changes due to recent trauma, and started psychotherapy (CBT & DBT) in response. However, recently, problems have been escalating, and I've decided to go the psychiatric route as well. The problem is that about a year ago, a psychiatrist put me on SSRI's and I experienced Serotonin Toxicity Syndrome, despite being on a generally low dose. I abandoned mood altering medications until recently, and I experienced similar but more mild effects on an abnormally small dose of an SNRI (the psychiatrist told me that it's the smallest dose available, and is generally meant as a starting dose for young children). 

​

After reviewing the difficulty I've been having, the psychiatrist told me that I have a fairly abnormal chemical susceptibility, which could be caused by an abnormally porous blood brain barrier. I've always been chemically susceptible to side effects of medications, alcohol, other substances, etc., as well as some conditions that I've had to cope with (HPA axis dysfunction linked with trauma, eczema, dermatographia) and I was wondering if that all could be indicative of a less ""active"" blood brain barrier.

​

X-posted to r/neuro",11.735480153649164,11.98765460093897,11.850081092616305,44.5921766965429,54.63380281690141,15.44498506188647,48.00213401621852,14.158211354625411,7.713773708920188,1062,61,136,41,11,359,128,213,0.118,0.862,0.02,-0.9451,1,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,2,3,9,0,0,16,0,16,14,6,3,1,32,23,16,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,8,10,1,4,6,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,9,3,8,2,25,9,7,21,0,2,0,0,3,8,0,4,11,91,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993497869857072,0.12048208633294474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938066191415234,0.3664530552900839,0.27397676921247416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308013540519205,0.0,0.0,0.3775569550042628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581245257054397,0.11926131119407447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002341726634016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257320971326976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407131104182766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299257766372757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34071346814639303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079713475825744,0.0,0.0,0.21574909617289972,0.0,0.11333231122251397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339439985171125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959234497665714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21545099729399855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20272907737115914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225899395758602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27397676921247416,0.07259924441359322
mentalhealth,bucko_the_cucko,2019/02/16,"I think I have ptsd, but I don't think my parents will take it seriously if I say something Over this past summer, I experienced a severe anxiety episode that has mentally scarred me. I was submitted to a crisis center, and when I came back in felt better. It only lasted a month or two. I started to get easily shaken by things that reminded me of the occurrence (shows, songs, etc.) And actively tried to avoid them. I took medicine that did help with it for a few months until they started giving me violent thoughts (hurting others, etc.), so I stopped taking them. I didn't mention said thoughts to parents until months later, and I regret not saying anything sooner as I'm still having them. Anyways, my anxiety attacks happen on and off, and lately they've been getting closer together. They've been five weeks apart, but now they're starting to happen within two or three weeks of each other. Yesterday, I have become severely paranoid at the thought of dying even though I am only a teen and do not have to worry about that for a very long time. I'm so scared, and I don't know what to do. I saw a therapist, but we moved away from her, so I couldn't go to appointments anymore. My mom says she's still looking, but I think she's just telling me that to reassure me. At this point, I'm so scared of death and cannot stop thinking about it, but at the same time I feel like it would be easier if I just died. I don't plan on doing anything rash, I just really want help because I feel like my world is falling apart. My mind is literally collapsing and I'm only 16. I haven't said much about this to my parents because I'm afraid I'm stressing them out, but I feel as if I really should've said something sooner. I regret it so much. I just want to go back to being the happy and goofy person I was. I hate making everyone around me feel stressed because I can't get myself together. I feel like such a burden. If this sounds like ptsd to you, please tell me what I can do please, I'm begging. Thank you.",5.406963696369637,5.436992683168316,6.10470297029703,81.27688943894391,67.7128712871287,9.10957095709571,30.199669966996694,8.841846274778883,2.2568353135313526,1580,54,317,24,24,518,202,404,0.2,0.659,0.141,-0.9846,3,1,2,0,0,0,50.0,1,2,5,2,23,22,3,6,12,0,30,1,1,1,0,60,76,33,3,10,18,4,6,4,0,2,0,8,0,1,20,16,0,3,14,2,0,6,10,14,0,4,16,17,58,8,41,55,7,51,0,3,2,0,29,18,0,6,31,215,78,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427083547972712,0.0,0.07406952207896951,0.0,0.0,0.12292221901507988,0.0664873427246205,0.0,0.08496734455118839,0.07017097753719502,0.11485952071963215,0.0,0.1365856665081678,0.08248602060921965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605465977776498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854221315766009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502681113300573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665916910752917,0.04933011710155515,0.0,0.0,0.07136671303824782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888201784392468,0.16006941134367314,0.07171131678793043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706276233973704,0.07164666017945807,0.08489278632332052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209109016824322,0.07950579376442853,0.0,0.07373803668748594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012236123291716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995407220556887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04104607021908882,0.06087994491025901,0.0842502881795705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595335403527426,0.0,0.0,0.0660957224378872,0.06271834332872693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04985421106160138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075267017912418,0.0,0.07541266778310597,0.08747261456086386,0.17884356277802813,0.07938055454809012,0.10980720627972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040868740414716,0.0,0.0,0.2487935171446899,0.0,0.07129727632575263,0.0,0.0652138842521595,0.0,0.16396798858692002,0.07060343897170879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17461041773336525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569292183441763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131335710079764,0.1781825098175723,0.14954960831230274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875030076054118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499553813965087,0.0,0.0,0.1585917154726589,0.0,0.11929040958951008,0.12488349933532665,0.17110761346837733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231079020648814,0.0,0.13055961340864286,0.06876183592002959,0.0,0.08671746544321544,0.0496187824495279,0.19142588052062828,0.0733796845569728,0.1778796152548939,0.08710128302828883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298010264075066,0.05070763002736425,0.0,0.14591686464563278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162466930004351,0.08810475892095578,0.0,0.11981895355580913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758483630589635,0.0,0.05305556429626854,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lfat19,2019/02/16,"I almost killed myself last night And today I went to work, still suicidal as ever, and acted like nothing is wrong as always. Ironically the chat for tonight was stress and mental health, and how a coworker is playing on mental health for sick pay even though all they post is pictures of them out at clubs. ",5.796896551724139,7.097372310344831,5.527068965517246,81.26232758620691,67.27586206896552,7.8689655172413815,26.568965517241374,8.07648339933343,1.6349172413793105,246,7,44,3,4,76,48,58,0.231,0.6709999999999999,0.098,-0.8848,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,1,5,5,1,1,2,0,4,3,0,1,2,9,5,8,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,5,2,9,3,1,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,7,30,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452004428687004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699466893202582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490069569857416,0.18474965160545775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4342019040560283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22596482015830105,0.0,0.0,0.16648545361401335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978290218916833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116581786594678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916683908508897,0.0,0.19597684196257492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19560851068965826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16310886928023785,0.0,0.23395987535045934,0.0,0.0,0.2234088915136625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20066788968894372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359865536763848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933547629102174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869146929710678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233078573004693,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Where2cop857,2019/02/16,"DAE feel like they end up being psychotherapists to mental health works & clinicians? I’m here working with formerly South End Community Health Center/Bay Cove Human Services in Boston, MA and I feel it’s the case...in that I have to navigate through a interplay or emotional service-worked politics notwithstanding the DMH beaurcracy. Many times when you “push too far” it’s... “I’ve gone above and beyond” — which was my initial foray with a MMH /BIDMC public psychiatry resident; a Nigerian-American who is now according to my search is at Baylor in TX. ",8.133939393939393,9.0138381010101,8.366212121212122,64.4693181818182,61.92929292929293,12.660606060606062,36.7020202020202,12.161744961471696,5.090668686868686,448,20,71,15,6,147,80,99,0.0,0.919,0.081,0.7456,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,2,6,1,0,0,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,7,9,4,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,6,1,11,6,0,15,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,7,39,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24842909659842305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25791361678462765,0.4061551024801893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23186573905963825,0.16380052116615496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4874362979976071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112016571074892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23245796823457696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310643237302757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369733262442962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5007644047225615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Myson91,2019/02/16,"Encouraging Mental and Emotional Health Hey all! First post here! I'm a high school teacher with a short history in the mental health area, and occasionally have students who want to speak with me about depression, anxiety, disappointments, guilt, shame, suicidal ideation, eating disorders, body image issues, abuse, etc. I am not licensed and without fail will always report the issues to the proper authorities when necessary and counsel my students to seek professional help when possible. Nevertheless, one thing the students rarely get is someone to listen and encourage them in their struggles. Seeing the student as a person and not just a client is something they tell me they value and something I'm very good at.

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As someone who always wants to be as helpful as possible, I'm looking for areas to grow in my knowledge and skill in being a lay-helper. I encourage my students to acknowledge their feelings and rather than avoid them or disregard them, experience them in a healthy and accepting way. Despite these areas, I'm looking for resources that help me give more practical counsel and advice to the students on *how* to do that. Do any of you have any resources, tips, books, articles, (preferably books) that talk about emotional health? Just pointing me in the right direction would be immensely helpful! Thanks!",8.176305066079298,10.217882585903087,7.253257158590312,68.32984168502203,62.34801762114538,10.256497797356829,38.857103524229075,10.411451182825502,4.680277753303964,1085,56,155,26,16,333,137,227,0.112,0.722,0.166,0.9044,0,1,2,0,1,0,39.0,0,1,8,3,9,13,0,4,13,0,12,5,1,1,1,32,26,19,1,5,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,7,13,1,2,5,2,0,1,3,7,0,2,0,6,18,6,30,21,3,21,0,3,3,0,25,15,0,1,3,106,25,12,0.0,0.12866999087983716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611998209717564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18072323374012228,0.11766508193851012,0.1319575530886823,0.1476997166219084,0.0,0.08307660390263658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062707036198145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353465780865018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446186426006445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111221046325148,0.0,0.2443145933189643,0.0,0.0,0.12111464727487485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622895493943924,0.0,0.0,0.05491003581856345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237277081734907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05673758428280778,0.10417638382860377,0.0,0.0910862263068253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3463014159513101,0.0,0.0,0.36395225916675067,0.11473896379026402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22669464245831836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238868891702825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21888098420885135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735883114560791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482293549748676,0.0,0.0,0.1026595090338204,0.2448541791079556,0.10400615257737283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274146360071696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990622120814293,0.08653795321703144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18402820587348875,0.16720694711807188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352943138210282,0.0,0.11878777245421865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728636110377835,0.0949187887118884,0.09998176319205863,0.0,0.0,0.07214719168517571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960410975517807,0.12810695096584074,0.08619944734452482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468387986797048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714437513942808,0.0,0.1319575530886823,0.0
mentalhealth,SocialWorky2017,2019/02/16,"Am I helpful? Hello,

I am a public speaker on mental health (with lived experience). I am now in ""recovery"" and have been for almost 9 years now. But I still struggle emotionally from time to time, but nothing comparable to what I was experiencing before I got diagnosed 9 years ago. I get a lot of requests to do talks, I don't even know why because I often feel that what I say is not helpful to the people in front of me. I always speak from my personal experience, explain what are my coping tools and strategies but I always feel like it's irrelevant for the people in front of me who often, are still struggling. Does it insult you when a speaker on mental health talks about their coping strategies (listening to music, talking to friends, taking walks, writing, etc.) and their experience with mental illness? ",6.2700662251655634,7.394632728476825,7.0221788079470215,71.61181125827817,66.08609271523179,8.953907284768214,32.98079470198675,9.120678840339163,3.0613094039735103,646,27,107,11,10,214,90,151,0.091,0.823,0.086,-0.1803,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,2,0,9,5,1,2,5,0,11,4,0,0,0,18,19,7,0,0,4,0,2,1,1,0,4,5,0,1,7,5,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,3,8,19,2,21,16,2,18,0,0,0,0,20,5,0,4,11,80,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356894791909378,0.0,0.12829175072953314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132090121494629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809959255767901,0.0,0.10901904993114613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003715456654855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211699537962523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441155960338199,0.0,0.0,0.14288552593873718,0.0846207836798965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759721991840282,0.0,0.0,0.12956070176126336,0.0915275821137558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898371097315647,0.0,0.0669364090401327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246773256732668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723670564206935,0.0,0.0,0.1717496971265864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041034631579776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625920225049746,0.0,0.11313061207295586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892141026354736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873386735258831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293275334205413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776418905181154,0.11186776590996228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188463968014433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20463052873316515,0.0,0.0,0.2678736697427136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632885183929413,0.3089293795808098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941336575797234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156066399127372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500768630054954
mentalhealth,trekseeker,2019/02/16,"I need to find support for my wife. (US)     I'm going to have the divorce talk with my wife of 15 years. She has Borderline Personality Disorder. I know about all the protocols that need to be in place for my safety and her safety when I tell her we're divorcing and serve her. The one I'm having trouble with is notifying her psychiatrist. I have no idea who she's seeing. She's made sure of that. She might not be seeing anyone at all, although she tells me she does. She has no prescriptions. She doesn't write checks for it. She doesn't run it through insurance. With HIPAA I can't just go around asking if she's someone's patient. Any ideas? Or alternatives to having her counselor stand by to make sure she doesn't hurt herself? I don't hate her. It would devastate me if she hurt herself. I just can't be married to her anymore. 

​",1.634409841170978,4.113883266272191,3.030426658361882,89.17843973839928,83.20118343195267,6.161445032700094,23.09592027405793,7.475848149327749,1.0627325443786981,668,24,137,11,19,217,96,169,0.081,0.792,0.127,0.7851,0,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,1,0,0,0,5,7,1,0,3,0,18,0,0,2,4,27,32,7,0,5,6,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,4,0,1,3,9,4,0,1,1,2,34,3,20,26,2,10,0,2,2,0,33,4,0,4,2,96,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16327172557688788,0.183103916988321,0.10247384866768948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944323192209205,0.10536541836758104,0.0,0.0,0.13414536910452435,0.14087409525437838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727029209640681,0.0,0.13186916697317322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377272328586982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128033230054693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487744244713642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32263189015837,0.3402196137419323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281486391530805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258579977640853,0.10058623596934482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15985746747390722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234683200531214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211092701233396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157602959075995,0.1574381803317572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24015962453534706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767850169638753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710003606556193,0.28404564550294786,0.0,0.0,0.12111830087526552,0.263418070464725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181260598506262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070453106397988,0.0,0.183103916988321,0.09703892823272378
mentalhealth,aguywithaquery,2019/02/16,"Need help for a family member A member of my family was diagnosed bipolar almost 20 years ago and hasn't been treated in 15. About 7 years ago, he left town and has been traveling around the USA ever since. We have been financially supporting him the whole time, but have incurred enormous debts as a result. Meanwhile, he has become more and more symptomatic, but he insists that he is not mentally ill. He refuses to come home and insists that we send thousands of dollars every month. Now he has developed a medical condition, and his doctor recommends rest. We can't afford to pay for hotels, but he refuses to take a bus to shelter. Is there any way to get him treatment?",6.4600984251968505,7.243775511811028,7.046919291338582,72.8147883858268,65.53543307086613,10.759448818897637,33.985236220472444,10.686352973137794,3.8924496062992118,538,23,92,14,8,177,85,127,0.0,0.915,0.085,0.8221,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,7,0,13,5,0,1,1,20,18,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,10,0,2,0,2,3,3,3,0,0,1,4,0,7,2,13,14,4,17,0,0,0,0,17,5,0,1,8,59,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34079869214332176,0.0,0.19248950378825885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072226272000625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112450064816356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230174810370134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558820019377796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510831533761186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675445304822814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738820705158205,0.16196116244360942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624326504011608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043168082308353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12884699829756802,0.0,0.19282128797981093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088572925172517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936504212573016,0.19372154650375867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534352962051106,0.0,0.0,0.14253531424546442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901375552140815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181391092602524,0.0,0.0,0.14453223052610456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209023366872242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525823753736153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21461673300645345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475782540703117
mentalhealth,haillilith,2019/02/16,"I feel like my recovery has reversed. I’ve not done this before so please bare with me if this is awkwardly worded or longer than it needs to be.
I’m 23 yrs old. I’ve had depression and anxiety from a pretty young age and I have learnt to cope with that, for the most part.
However, due to two abusive relationships and an assault, I have been left with ptsd.
I was doing so well with my recovery, I finally felt in control again. Until November. I was feeling bad again and I ended up being sent to hospital at for a psychiatric assessment. While there, my fiancé and I broke up. She told me my issues were ‘foreign’ to her.  Less than a week later, she was with someone new. Since then I’ve been really up and down, which brings me to now.
I don’t know who to turn to; my friends have their own problems, my parents feel guilty about what happened to me and I don’t want to make anyone else feel upset. But, everything feels so pointless. The only people who would miss me are my parents. My friends would be okay eventually, they could move on. I just don’t know how to drag myself out of how I’m feeling right now. I feel so out of control of everything. I feel so alone. I have no idea what I’m hoping to achieve from this honestly. 
Does anyone have any advice on how to drag myself out of this? ",1.6326533785694082,3.8840528816793913,3.102078032230704,90.105588068985,81.25190839694656,6.476901328809726,22.299123551031947,7.662118739084242,0.9906653661294884,1013,33,212,17,27,331,151,262,0.145,0.747,0.108,-0.8872,3,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,3,16,15,1,2,6,1,26,0,0,6,0,47,50,21,0,8,5,2,9,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,11,15,0,2,12,0,0,3,5,8,1,1,11,9,34,7,41,33,4,32,0,3,0,0,14,13,0,4,17,152,45,1,0.0,0.13556035615403011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180277910788826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849706573402045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780456830767035,0.0,0.08752541238326507,0.0,0.0,0.1600000584974919,0.11722934527083376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552983644152872,0.0,0.0,0.09735679197932866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566471729720529,0.09134924158729604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854350216848326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012333627393934,0.117083928777778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557714070162507,0.0,0.10133570434097236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20565353837425526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4628040438082563,0.08173646512098315,0.1098541469143997,0.12533353478493986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678995670283176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117478436728188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363763981000233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291580267607326,0.0,0.1194171471518917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575646997087248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430974758308425,0.0,0.0,0.05589627242606632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637137444371149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121602607399619,0.0,0.0848355770678475,0.0,0.11050051129192577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005689614025428,0.0,0.0,0.0870160239698547,0.0,0.0,0.2540835561987896,0.1238978188825455,0.0,0.0793193693804419,0.0,0.0,0.1255908015240753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639886136629905,0.0,0.1094775146912178,0.13374233901736302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732957137361866,0.0,0.0,0.1228364361392832,0.0,0.0977078318727796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464337860968756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694152055196324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932625044504833,0.0,0.0,0.12444817744806505,0.1117645959108076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748358253539585,0.0,0.09177497720460807,0.0,0.10287076951855118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16255101749322845,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sofoel,2019/02/16,"Need help, possible triggers. Hey everyone, I am fairly new here. I am a 24 year old man with depression from Turkey and I couldn't think any place else to ask for help. I have lots to unpack and I don't even know if it is right for me to ask for help here or from anyone. I started my master studies last october in Germany and since have been living seperately from my boyfriend of six years. I knew I was going worse all over again, I mean I started to realize something was not right during last weeks or months, but I thought it should'nt be the case since I was doing fairly fine for almost years for now and managed to get a place at my dream master studies. And last sunday I had an argument with my boyfriend regarding our ""open relationship"", which we were trying for some time with my request, and I wanted to discuss it again since I started to feel somethings were off with that subject and we realized we radically changed our opinions on the subject, him becoming more open or free, me thinking about ""closing"" it completely. Even though we still love each other and there is no apparent problem with us, this incident made things even worse and I'm spiralling down all over again for the last week. I even thought about harming myself and then just ending my life for good but just after some cutting myself, I tried to reach out to him because I needed support and I said that at least I wanted to hear him to say ""stay alive for me"" which he did, he tried to calm me down, and I managed to get out of that situation. And today I did nothing, just tried to spent some time, knowing as the time passes it again was getting worse. And here I am again, even though I can dismiss the idea of suicide I still want to harm myself and just feeling like shit, thinking about how I have so little people with me in this life. And this time worse, he couldn't help, because he is out at some bar with people from an event and he is not available, but I really need to hear his voice or find some anchor in this world. I hate being a burden for him or for anyone but here I am being a useless piece of shit again and just blaming him. I cannot stop these intrusive thoughts about how he is becoming distant from me, how I am a not-worthy of love of a person, etc. And I don't know if I am a good person or not but I don't I just need someone to listen to me and keep saying to me that I need to stay alive. Sorry.",6.310351377018044,5.579212292181072,6.3407407407407455,82.89564102564105,65.99588477366255,9.04070908515353,31.449509338398233,8.012643519586192,2.030641911997468,1898,62,391,19,26,603,213,486,0.136,0.748,0.116,-0.9522,1,0,2,0,0,2,44.0,7,0,0,2,35,19,4,0,14,0,36,7,2,5,2,106,78,41,1,14,22,0,2,1,0,1,2,7,0,3,18,38,1,2,17,2,2,2,11,10,0,1,17,9,66,10,70,55,13,63,0,2,0,2,40,24,2,16,36,287,84,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082138143388741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04809577170596407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890584131263183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223760818451924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622722821858411,0.1562215371293448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481821112850655,0.0,0.07415435104750755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609157776527924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05908208784497535,0.0,0.06264180892789548,0.0,0.07887763847905314,0.2335676598124725,0.0,0.0,0.06758125515305666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152188528178137,0.05052631808155338,0.0,0.0,0.06464183433518987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085347879708987,0.0,0.04019493688952374,0.11864240355248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982679823283604,0.0,0.0,0.15942557864358348,0.0,0.18962327261399708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984049142863232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286408243859208,0.0,0.0,0.11660667108291245,0.230602919233746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991103785040104,0.03455291143300935,0.0708855407252891,0.062451920594326665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06012829896486749,0.12766506717083673,0.06692218711134189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704081368286342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05645242688098433,0.0,0.0,0.2622103454815175,0.0,0.06830713774379782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786303379326636,0.0,0.07421452485482212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806432615876813,0.12350957368052272,0.14778620843243728,0.0,0.0,0.07973238519999071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767476085341956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045308572382809456,0.0,0.0,0.07593272886454365,0.0,0.1207983972626102,0.0672761554641152,0.11248752765489584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451974381917795,0.17551461681886496,0.07949843590267154,0.0,0.0,0.059925494642666076,0.10889590501826492,0.0,0.07917141744472729,0.1501796388293052,0.15076796548702964,0.1129629664106953,0.05912969277752871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736222812184687,0.08025846998682484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046986885823204566,0.13595415205086422,0.13897490788003214,0.16844446315785766,0.1649624532753432,0.0,0.06703951324031407,0.0,0.0,0.19207191348434488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507407966411606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251472137222696,0.0,0.1134634751650626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883013455088781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663472777354835
mentalhealth,MaryJ2468,2019/02/16,"Dream or reality? For the last 6 months or so, I’ve been having a very hard time knowing if my memories are real or if they were dreams. I feel like the line between my dreams and reality is starting to blur. Some of the events that I thought were real but weren’t are huge, while others are boring and seemingly unimportant. I find I’m constantly asking my sister and husband if things actually happened or not because I genuinely can’t tell anymore. It’s not like when you have a vivid dream and wake up the next day... these “memories” are weeks old and feel too real. Does this happen to anyone else? Any suggestions on making it stop?",4.678727598566309,6.045317661290326,5.484946236559143,80.27797491039428,69.96774193548387,8.736917562724015,28.293906810035843,9.150863307647796,2.3402573476702506,506,18,96,10,9,165,87,124,0.079,0.794,0.127,0.6302,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,6,0,12,1,1,1,0,28,23,16,0,3,10,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,6,4,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,4,9,2,7,18,1,16,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,10,15,61,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.16053129890233248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186775125359516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631428751096099,0.11502439467165287,0.1685528693446474,0.0,0.0,0.1537881952408903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100279564871265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776941380216285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609089258630892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395777421039815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742123417816315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635542352464913,0.11752104982248032,0.0,0.0,0.15035285613451166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909391018269917,0.0,0.14736246879880902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040660341177467,0.13409198507565825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073581373873974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980709879887647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313048075533969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749509165405985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261833444775546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5617216373922149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497574468833756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164361431646612,0.0,0.0,0.13753196026830433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378296299776466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928855217431767,0.0,0.0,0.13059708879600554,0.0959230823969737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573228833000028,0.0,0.0,0.13195446674327638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayfkgisjrivk,2019/02/16,"I feel like I'm having some kind of crisis I've been pushing myself at University for weeks now because of a research deadline coming up and I have had a severe lack of sleep and today I had been working all day but took a nap and woke up 20 minutes ago.

Since then I feel this horrible dread like I'm going to die and I feel so confused. I just feel like I'm forgetting who I am or something. I feel so horrible. Is this some kind of anxiety attack or something like this? I'm just so scared and confused. ",2.2324737945492683,3.8751854339622653,4.0316352201257875,87.13527253668764,76.73584905660377,6.5979035639413,25.928721174004195,7.3871296695380915,1.2818859538784064,400,15,83,5,9,135,61,106,0.353,0.56,0.087,-0.9899,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,11,1,4,3,0,8,1,1,0,1,23,21,12,1,1,5,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,5,1,0,4,0,5,0,0,6,5,9,6,9,15,4,13,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,6,10,52,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15713036832863264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560347832190425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016589345224652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805610133543414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269386583432962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431808918187465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18396798040842224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4481401202018347,0.2532692774438511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074099013586676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691781978807609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464012912278531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746826636639415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002534387267745,0.0,0.1466313724225812,0.0,0.17738809812390194,0.0,0.0,0.27292694409331353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802183221777933,0.0,0.19694247447049976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218734642874786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290474515900472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shallowhearted134,2019/02/16,Do you do this or am I just alone? I will finally build up the courage to text someone and then when they don't respond immediately I will panic and almost block their number or not respond once they do  ,4.013577235772356,5.266855073170731,4.993658536585368,83.60235772357726,71.4390243902439,7.417886178861789,28.300813008130078,7.793537801064563,1.6200666666666663,162,6,33,2,3,53,31,41,0.179,0.725,0.096,-0.5677,0,1,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,8,7,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,7,1,2,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,3,3,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926413192471956,0.4061074931799685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295371139159208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175841342736733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4600563593027911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322333566029345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,freckledcherries,2019/02/16,"i'm worried about being admitted soon Okay so, a little bit of background, I'm diagnosed with bipolar 1, and was involuntarily hospitalized a couple of months ago, where I was originally diagnosed. However, I was still a minor and was put in an adolescent ward. Over the past about 2 weeks, I've gone days without food, then would binge like crazy and have lost around 10 lbs. I've been extremely paranoid and I know I'm being followed, delusional (according to friends but they don't get it), and haven't been sleeping much at all because I don't trust my surroundings enough to sleep. I've ruined two relationships with people I care about in the span of about 24 hours, and I really just don't wanna be here anymore. I've relapsed in self harm and have been really close to drinking again.

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and spent the entire time crying, but kept telling him that everything was okay, but my therapy appointment was moved earlier so now it's on tuesday and I'm freaking out a bit because my doctor already suggested hospitalization. I've never been to an adult unit and I'm just really sketchy about it and iI just dunno what to do. I live in the US by the way if that matters.",5.4371086956521735,6.708501786956521,6.2284239130434775,76.01133152173915,68.08695652173913,9.923913043478262,31.76630434782609,10.125756701596842,3.286804347826086,961,40,177,24,16,316,139,230,0.118,0.8190000000000001,0.063,-0.9398,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,1,1,17,10,0,0,11,2,21,8,2,1,2,34,36,18,0,3,8,0,0,1,1,1,4,0,0,2,6,16,2,1,2,1,1,4,6,4,0,1,15,1,15,6,27,17,5,35,0,2,1,0,10,14,0,2,17,112,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156026860099775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132984761341178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599924191576224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220775827053596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719019807603233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29942777822428857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981639192812792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173522873498166,0.15063433252483907,0.08843954083934542,0.0,0.0,0.278374533300779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036159593550654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343382856849694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169520809084168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324643816329975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16582195649931142,0.0,0.10594873610691843,0.0,0.07164641401716097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504853523171256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536479616360564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699633312976384,0.13744344842611414,0.1210910890922474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969703904399367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945837674590024,0.14575084242994302,0.10080864836017188,0.0,0.10576554385300356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309091142862128,0.09507086365524313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785669815305324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635530335738495,0.0,0.0,0.1472296888302456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305978927702254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744643837334192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951471547701834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986042268140855,0.0,0.15682371509217674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996344602512881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339591671279691,0.0,0.16495430183750462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884991616337927,0.10999994595183618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321914687195454,0.0,0.0,0.13926537646041276,0.0,0.09741545943839967,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eudevie,2019/02/16,"I need to vent about my current p.doc. Background:I have ADD,Bipolar Disorder NOS, Anxiety, depression, and Asperger's/Autism

So this mental health center I go to goes through many psychiatrists(I'm guessing because they are nonprofit,and most go to where they can make more money) Usually since I had been stable on my medication regimen for a long time,the appointments are(usually) more checking in to see if they are still working,so even if they are terrible I wouldn't have had an issue because everything was the same. 

So my mental health center had switched me to a new psych(technically she's a nurse practitioner??for some reason???) and at the time I was at Celexa 60mg,and she lowered it to 40 due to new regulations due to the risk of long QT syndrome.Fair enough, my heart had been feeling screwy for about a month anyway, and after lowering that cleared up for a couple months. So my Regimen was Adderall XR 20mg, Modafinil 200mg, Celexa 40mg, and Carbamazepine 100mg.  

Then the tachycardia came back worse then ever, now with my heart feeling like it was ""flopping"" in my chest. So fearing after being on Celexa for so long at a high dose it did something with my heart, and noting it got worse at night after I had taken it, I cut it on my own to 20mg. That helped with the flopping a bit, but not the tachycardia. after a bit of back and fourth it was decided to cut my ADD meds and allowed me to stop the celexa, and only put me on Modafinil 100mg and carbamazepine 100. I asked what are we going to do to replace the Adderall cause without ADD meds I'm a mess. Seems like she wasn't concerned about finding me a replacement at all .

Thing is with My ADD/Bipolar combo and only small dose of modafinil, I started getting some crazy mania. My ADD meds played a big part in me being stable. I pointed this out and was told ""Well we have to take care of your mania first,then maybe we will try wellbutrin."" Even though missing the ADD medication was what was making me unstable. Fine, [w](https://whatever.As)hatever.  As long as I get it treated after that.

And now we get into the shit. Since we couldn't raise my carbamazepine because of my eyes(at 200 I started getting blurry vision after years of being on it, and have a family history of glaucoma so that was out) I had mentioned when I was younger that I was on Abilify for a while and that seemed to do me good then,but they changed it because I'm fat.  

Turns out your body can react much differently after 15 years. Started getting ""RLS"" during the day where sitting down was uncomfortable, got really irritable easily, my blood sugar started going up to 180 even when fasting, and started getting intestinal issues(going to the bathroom almost every half hour.) So I called her up so we could try something else. Simple,right?

Her response? ""Well you did well on it when you where 15, so you shouldn't have any problems now.(I'm 30 now.) You'll just have to deal with it, and since you've messed with your meds once before we're not changing it."" 

Okay, so you're holding something I did when I was FEARING I WOULD DIE IN MY SLEEP against me when I'm having a bad reaction were the pooping is so bad I'm afraid to leave my house?Where I can't even enjoy things I used to because of the ""RLS"" side effect? Where I'm scared to consume anything but Atkins drinks? Not even taking into account MY COMPLIANCE FOR MANY,MANY YEARS? Really? 

Told my case manager(helps manage other services from the mental health center) this, and I'm guessing she went to the P.Doc's higher up and he reviewed my case, had P.Doc switch me to Lamictal, since I did well on carbamazepine at higher doses and it works similarly . That turned out well and the one side effect I have on it is MUCH more tolerable, if a bit annoying.

So I go ask about the Wellbutrin like we discussed since the mania part was taken care of. She REALLY didn't want to put me on it, saying it wouldn't work(even though it was suggested before by her higher-up who is an actual psychiatrist?!), asking me if I worked or was in school(like she was trying to say I didn't need ADD medication if I'm not doing either of those things???Even though this is a quality of life thing???) And kept trying to say ""well it's not FDA approved for that"" over and over(Even though people are put on off-label meds all the time because other stuff doesn't work) and then after talking to another doc over the phone,FINALLY agreed to the script since I also had depression. 

ALSO: ""well you may not have ADD anyway since you had tachycardia from those medications"" ...That is the quackiest thing I've heard from a medical professional with my own ears. I /was/ mentally calmer on them, my heart decided it just didn't like it all of a sudden.

Turns out I'M NOT THE ONLY CLIENT HAVING PROBLEMS WITH HER. My case manger is actually encouraging me to switch to another one after all this BS. 

​",4.809445516783788,6.49560089186296,5.1811077600506685,81.34698630756705,70.05995717344754,8.13135084597521,28.465422082818108,8.678591145306115,2.181067394516995,3899,143,719,67,71,1238,369,934,0.109,0.805,0.086,-0.9726,6,0,5,0,0,0,152.0,7,9,6,6,54,39,4,5,44,1,79,28,13,9,6,115,137,60,1,16,19,0,2,4,0,7,14,5,0,0,47,52,3,3,10,2,3,10,18,19,7,3,48,9,95,20,116,77,22,114,0,3,1,0,51,50,1,15,57,494,142,7,0.0,0.0,0.0864454696856434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435217552480475,0.0,0.0,0.0708408092062527,0.0,0.047990510100653264,0.05381979241445026,0.030120170851159943,0.092888331544737,0.033883362277357144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03644865342358952,0.0,0.12422150254133114,0.0,0.0,0.0681158361222861,0.07396416579612446,0.1620004474724118,0.0,0.07537868975359707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506662058006928,0.049198577379516016,0.0,0.0,0.04522722230659478,0.05065840323233715,0.0903175677242125,0.04550022379102685,0.09371041245562657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035363665959213225,0.049008405267907534,0.0,0.028564763076427607,0.04566324664093156,0.07629750247695294,0.0,0.04596824362288805,0.046275854295921,0.05076262435307821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043389430409360746,0.0,0.0,0.03700039560677691,0.0,0.0,0.0457656158067629,0.0,0.2340363011323891,0.04006477215826537,0.037318034300728116,0.0,0.03980691524103913,0.0,0.041754683268846834,0.09968193233515736,0.044790868882496414,0.03164231031368862,0.0,0.0,0.04048220925139784,0.0376748676659397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884487564630318,0.0,0.15103344724757806,0.0371501416698324,0.07084893353799447,0.0,0.09758556116147138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124140591485582,0.0,0.20994557439097336,0.0593761693169945,0.04679707275938244,0.0,0.0,0.04361883130668915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0462294818030433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046898976011206434,0.0,0.0,0.03128484504176921,0.08655560011635564,0.0,0.0,0.15678858381980726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059130688503690965,0.08981054655261837,0.044497403184031815,0.0,0.2459928868975801,0.22309833276686195,0.17854421907435786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707071196617066,0.0,0.06511963153888586,0.06568411421385402,0.0,0.08555524056355993,0.0,0.04156516855458794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04716967856360388,0.06002699434771155,0.10105849434430708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592813260196292,0.0,0.030706589722311262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04187038434894617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476318341155223,0.0,0.1335774886617912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512402812884733,0.04553969194086231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03782524154451738,0.0,0.10566865125806577,0.04434415426831809,0.04482600557547192,0.035295097318014,0.08064379297542767,0.0,0.0,0.045465240398095325,0.2564723842008183,0.0,0.04432412255794371,0.0,0.0,0.10229474903305576,0.0,0.0,0.15675100670520564,0.0,0.035371756471079416,0.03703020838763073,0.0,0.0,0.05070389812659564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660434705402715,0.035600340603928735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177029063936088,0.0,0.174067192224788,0.0,0.07748130085721791,0.0,0.0,0.08464606676821376,0.0,0.12028580984677885,0.14453137322329904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03825418389784199,0.0487815294955047,0.0,0.026124648974038347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787676423915736,0.04105925317399812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04269603786792741,0.0,0.12898080808267798,0.0,0.09027493972271466,0.03146386211902709,0.0,0.05381979241445026,0.08556804889005809
mentalhealth,oldcrowmedicine,2019/02/16,"How to know there's an issue? I can't tell if I'm just immature or if there's an issue. I get really angry for small reasons. I can tell when I'm doing it now and I can remove myself from the situation (if it happens and my wife is around I'll go outside, or if I'm around my pets I'll leave the room or whatever) but then I just....stand there. When I was younger I would just fight or break things and then be okay but now I'm older and the tension just stays with me. Sometimes for the day. 

I guess the question is, is this something that I can maybe manage better? Or is this just life and I'm being a bitch? Have you experienced this? Thank you for your time. ",0.0013374125874143776,2.064418272727273,2.088631993006995,96.00679414335664,86.55244755244755,4.973601398601399,17.329108391608393,6.322622252153567,-0.38260804195804177,515,12,121,5,16,172,81,143,0.114,0.815,0.07200000000000001,-0.7090000000000001,0,0,1,0,1,0,18.0,0,3,0,1,14,6,2,1,8,1,14,1,0,2,0,29,25,21,0,5,15,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,7,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,1,16,3,8,21,0,17,0,0,0,0,8,4,1,11,9,83,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482951984418503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301429033338528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261618502927384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220591461080136,0.0,0.11117811543930707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21550283692263944,0.0,0.17299041658613382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083630553308858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751030637085264,0.0,0.0,0.20713847948178174,0.0,0.0,0.13817562309306666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19653146444446312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21914461272121186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253222938155452,0.2011349361326133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21989053766458835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060157367909638,0.1934779874794198,0.0,0.0,0.2085100707775369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34196949823214695,0.18010508696510216,0.0,0.0,0.1299644636971011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114070428346521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389662869484056,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,caseyboii,2019/02/16,"I need help. I’m not sure I’ll be able to explain this in any way that makes sense, but I’ll try my best.
Btw I’m F21
So this past year has probably been the worst year of my life. I’ve been more depressed than I ever have been. I’ve had a lot of really bad financial problems( like my car brakes went out and I couldn’t afford to fix them), I also failed almost all of my classes this past year, and my dog (who helped me through some of my worst times) passed away. On top of all of this my mom (who I live with because I can’t afford to live anywhere else) has been especially awful.
We’ll start with college. I failed almost all of my classes this year because I couldn’t get out of bed to make it to my classes on time. I would sleep through alarms. Also the only way I could get to classes was to take my moms car, which meant I had to get up even earlier, take her to work, and then go wait for my classes to start. I also have had a hard time thinking straight, like when it came to assignments. Like it came to a point where I would start an assignment and I would get really confused or couldn’t think and had to stop. I had to drop out this semester because I was doing so badly and I needed a student loan and couldn’t find a co-signer. 
My mom has also given me until May to move out. I don’t currently have a job, plus not many people are hiring. She doesn’t seem to understand that the best job I’ll probably get is a part-time minimum wage where I won’t be able to afford and apartment/ food/ bills. She also told me she doesn’t care if I’m homeless (which is the second time I’ve been told that-the first was my grandma) and said she didn’t care if she had to call the cops to get me out of the house (which is the second time she’s said that to me, the first time I was 16). I hate being around her because all she ever talks about is how I’m not applying to jobs (which I am), or how she can’t wait until I’m gone. Part of me feels like she only wants me gone because I am not giving her any money ( I have given her over $5,000 in the last 2 years which is a year of my college tuition). She also doesn’t believe that I have OCD or anxiety. Her and my sister often make fun of me for it, like if we are out in public and one of them has to do something by themselves they’ll joke about how they have anxiety and need someone to go with them. What’s worse is she has a Bachelor’s degree in psychology. She is always insinuating that I am the reason for her problems, like a few weeks ago she blamed me for her defaulting on her credit card. We’ve started family therapy but we’ve only gone to like 2 sessions and now she keeps canceling appointments. 
I can’t go see my therapist because I owe the company $200 because I accidentally went to an appointment in between insurances ( I didn’t have insurance for like a week when I was switched because I got dropped by one. My mom knew this and didn’t tell me and of course I went to an appointment in between them) and they won’t take my new insurance for it since “I wasn’t covered when I went”.
I really don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m stuck and I’m having a really hard time doing anything. I’ve stopped taking care of my self (I can’t bring myself to do it any more). I’m tired all the time and am in a constant state of panicking. I really don’t know what to do any more. I don’t know if there is even anything that can be done (other than me just being homeless). If anyone has suggestions.",3.3574469083980034,3.7676670230040585,4.758413189362352,87.80914556350285,72.2746955345061,8.089486620087818,25.501118444671512,8.159919018807972,1.2673120377785754,2706,77,616,38,49,906,270,739,0.126,0.78,0.094,-0.9771,9,0,1,0,0,0,73.0,2,0,7,8,27,30,1,2,28,1,85,4,1,7,8,102,157,46,0,19,15,5,4,9,0,8,2,2,1,1,30,32,1,6,14,1,7,17,25,12,0,6,40,7,102,18,87,99,16,88,0,3,1,0,52,26,0,16,49,409,132,20,0.10747729068484717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763606669173745,0.0,0.10762298155840068,0.0,0.0,0.25784865159059,0.044714857838018776,0.0,0.0,0.14617648643807016,0.0,0.08221983319562699,0.0,0.0,0.03757531030916236,0.0,0.08844465257497153,0.04783878760918494,0.0,0.0,0.05048922626723793,0.0,0.08973904839241632,0.2620686353333478,0.0,0.0,0.0605450509841141,0.11279078575185165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054873165235357034,0.12292538826652848,0.1643703912587045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807238461164745,0.0,0.04290593555255598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628501648942104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054993291844450634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04489174259123573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098773685487185,0.09721936261545988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066001221187838,0.0,0.05434374750151419,0.0767817979402329,0.0,0.0,0.04911614828532908,0.0914201285517316,0.06498098325763943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845734526374515,0.051551005330873784,0.09162273166700163,0.0,0.04297970379901394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627854176230867,0.05305578672953441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203976242199797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200718163652185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998194048005002,0.04776537712195122,0.0,0.0,0.08860006227962341,0.04380416835552491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03795719444590393,0.2362858890343539,0.0,0.09490441674996553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04568667455798545,0.0,0.0,0.10761288916046267,0.05448255176330995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517522077505256,0.0,0.05711567546102556,0.0,0.11953957380451324,0.0,0.05190111853840724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728293937021979,0.12261198401704534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163874322261706,0.10259923526761816,0.03725561035396616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080038971379881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587869746279653,0.10284125206023904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17213176131506966,0.055252277570754495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223551549320764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04282274277204467,0.04892164443737365,0.05606112705521135,0.0,0.0,0.04445316274709106,0.0,0.05377745474940677,0.0,0.04553257981013999,0.041370634617267935,0.0,0.0,0.15214595905862818,0.0,0.0,0.08985582752703675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050648037264489736,0.0,0.1616190937622882,0.04319308754253348,0.04696994465595113,0.0,0.06145482431844222,0.062394709148281685,0.0,0.06886710812805928,0.0,0.0,0.25068349003124324,0.061764667547034476,0.0,0.1026991570874778,0.0,0.03648501269018122,0.0,0.0,0.0559438249965803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03169644534325239,0.08531047068953593,0.08621179965714842,0.0,0.0,0.19926505046750387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0391223738334614,0.0,0.05476427062484115,0.11452317544259925,0.0,0.0,0.20763555425894956
mentalhealth,ColonelAengus,2019/02/16,"Everything fell apart, now what I get so lost in my thoughts these days. I have great, wonderful, intelligent thoughts and I also have stupid, bitter, angry, ignorant thoughts... i used to be so motivated, i was in college, ready to live a happy life but even in the times I was doing good, the worst of my thoughts creep in. I’ve always picked my skin and have scarring on my arms and body and I can’t stop thinking about how I can never take my shirt off in front of a girl anymore. I slit my forearms longways in a mad drug fueled suicide attempt and have a shitty tat covering one side and the other is tattooless because of how shitty the first cover up attempt went. My teeth are getting so bad from grinding and my gums are receeding from bad oral hygiene (it’s gotten better but still dealing with recession). It all went downhill after college, I had to move back in with my parents, along with my brother who was/is addicted to several drugs mostly crack. This was 3 years ago. We fought and a certain fight with him triggered my first and only attempts. My dad and I have always had a rough relationship which got worse and worse after college. My brother began stealing and eventually got into a fight  with dad which got him arrested. I can only talk to my mom about things. I just can’t talk to my dad because we always fight. My dad called the cops on my once because I said I wanted to kill myself and I ran away and was eventually thrown into a mental health facility because I said the wrong words at the wrong time. I feel like I can only apply to jobs that allow me to wear long sleeves because of my scars and shit tat. Everything is a mess. I also smoke weed all the time every time I get a chance, that’s not me bragging in any way whatsoever. I know it’s not addictive but I am addicted. I’m addicted to skin picking, smoking weed, and self loathing. If I had 20 dollars for gas I would put 10 in my tank and use 10 to buy weed. My parents aren’t much help anymore. Not because they don’t try but because they just don’t have any more ability anymore, they’re trying to deal with my brother and the grandkids and they’re graciously allowing me to stay with them. All this to say, I get so angry all the time now, it’s not that I don’t want change. I try but I just get so frustrated like it’s deep. It’s this shame that hits me when any little thing goes wrong and I just shut down. Also I’ve been going to a psych the past few years and was prescribed many different antidepressants, the first few a tried made me so angry that I can’t even describe it. I would be driving in traffic and want to run Into the back of people not going fast enough, I had to have weed to chill out.  I was on a ssri medication during my attempt and hospitalization.  Some of them helped but I could never relax I was so hyped up. Also I feel a lot better off them except when I dont smoke. I know I have to stop smoking but I smoke to kill my shame and I have so much shame from what I’ve become. We’ve never been very well off, I never went without but we couldn’t afford things like braces. I can fill in more details for anybody with any advice on how to move forward. I would love t get back into college but it seems so daunting. Please don’t take this next sentence as me thinking I’m smarter or that I’m super paranoid but, I just don’t trust my psych anymore. She talks over me and I’m too ashamed to even tell her about my cuts on my arms, I’ve always worn long sleeves. I tell her all the time how much I smoke weed and she barely ever acknowledges it as a problem. But again this is a lot and I hope it doesn’t sound arrogant, but I just don’t know how to proceed anymore. In the US",3.192082649151616,4.530921880952381,4.243448275862068,87.85500000000002,73.57671957671958,6.854004743659918,25.99744572158365,7.30559327001526,1.1449475278233898,2906,98,609,31,58,945,309,756,0.214,0.69,0.096,-0.9988,6,0,6,0,3,2,66.0,4,0,5,12,42,42,12,4,31,0,52,20,10,14,11,128,102,63,3,11,27,11,5,3,0,3,9,4,0,2,31,44,0,3,15,1,2,15,23,27,1,4,32,10,99,15,83,62,18,91,0,1,0,1,48,37,1,9,42,407,130,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404239658569503,0.0,0.05387791425634412,0.04887442266908891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17636782180253646,0.18350909412448327,0.0,0.0,0.14997651734532844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27339872264859744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518017535072489,0.1271877232391119,0.09207192124897937,0.23527124243211575,0.06089298820338841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752599504543684,0.0,0.06124327224259681,0.0,0.0,0.056299658161507574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058326201769153985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044021326168225364,0.0,0.0,0.03555792981858253,0.11368485815916192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05760501408489532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461856540507528,0.0,0.12787968776833955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056969860054747065,0.0,0.10924972073635296,0.04987334755024569,0.0464541589608976,0.0,0.09910472526223756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575647758659175,0.03938891586188024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069505461734855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17283659348728295,0.0,0.06266971540097471,0.04624516320026502,0.13229103632287975,0.06078724334678876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869291943097143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05860661246119775,0.0,0.0,0.07391252137540953,0.0,0.0,0.0547621361725582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471362017244532,0.0,0.12199884451149665,0.0,0.09090332584308457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03894393667484892,0.08080947353145995,0.055260401023989617,0.04868578473761472,0.09758662175672572,0.0,0.0,0.06018706969595493,0.09374870755563006,0.04976207232413854,0.05217068049896206,0.0,0.05589889022958298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055543361854195096,0.05556376219866781,0.0,0.0,0.0645742011462591,0.0,0.11720093019337645,0.12159312936762033,0.0,0.17009603396204828,0.0,0.05863738404299278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587176625775636,0.03736134002801813,0.1257994277723201,0.0,0.0,0.12244321799563848,0.0,0.05263321195728187,0.03822411407343285,0.0,0.0,0.06052238137452745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052757366110185736,0.0,0.05542655187290391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05919504887692228,0.0,0.0,0.10489324881380067,0.0438460779504854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501934205309568,0.05751850245597932,0.06228758520314254,0.05659594735426176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876726162442844,0.044031397382622066,0.09219173619552616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030944684036885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291028676915599,0.13294782904291946,0.09638196800395572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988901799541602,0.07065739017517221,0.0,0.17508617392927225,0.19290022821207944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497339352424986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632139235849385,0.09523898956677296,0.0,0.045492681462994886,0.09756129595073143,0.04376410871158792,0.0,0.0,0.0495735664518342,0.15333388610906276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314879433717933,0.0597922551602656,0.0,0.0,0.11237586541321692,0.11750034103799492,0.18084651766971926,0.0,0.07101109547696725
mentalhealth,NoYesMaybe1,2019/02/16,"Is it true that if you think you’re narcissistic, that means you’re not? Several people have told me I have narcissistic traits, like how I become furious if someone dares to say something patronizing, or angry at people who disagrees with me. But, I do have empathy and I am not able to watch horrormovies because I can’t stand waching people getting killed on TV.  But I always want to win discussions and be «best», and I have been told that I become another person when I’m angry...

I also am «obsessed» about people being treated equally and if anyone dares to say something mean or discriminating to others, then I probably could beat them up because I get so angry. (I am gay, but never experienced homophobia. But i am scared of how i would react and what I would do to a person being homophobic towards me)

Also, I am quite happy with how I look and have no problem «showing it off», but I don’t know..
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mentalhealth,Mind-Full_,2019/02/16,"Awarness Negative stimga behind mental disorders prevent growth of the individuals being affected. It keeps us hidden, ashamed, alone and scared. It amplifies the suffering of each individual because it prevents us from getting the help we need. It is time to break these chains that holds us captive. It is time to set ourselves free.",7.131250000000001,10.221748196428573,6.899428571428577,65.54557142857146,67.03571428571428,9.48,37.98571428571428,9.888512548439397,4.729961428571428,273,15,37,7,5,86,44,56,0.227,0.622,0.152,-0.7506,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,9,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,6,5,1,5,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,26,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22483282068562888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323319593609827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24879625881622394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341705981791354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550635410569646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929536035054017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21876889889495468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096450969908804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21733824487854744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531660255572944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7833734113020066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jalapeno_Queen_,2019/02/16,I thought I saw someone I knew but it wasnt them. Was I hallucinating? Like I legit thought it was them a dead on face I knew but then 2 minutes later I looked back and it's a different face and doesnt look like them anymore turned out to be some random drug addict.is there something going on with me? I have anxiety and have been feeling a lot more confused and foggy lately. I can hardly follow along with conversations.  I feel lost in my head when trying to hold one. My brother passed away last year I'm terrified that it could have brought out an underlying mental illness...maybe I'm just I overthinking. ,2.009714285714285,4.658740733333339,3.28952380952381,86.74500000000002,83.33333333333334,6.095238095238094,24.404761904761905,7.447530270364453,1.3402261904761916,488,19,94,8,14,158,82,120,0.192,0.7659999999999999,0.042,-0.9631,1,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,1,4,4,0,1,4,0,11,4,3,0,0,24,27,8,1,1,3,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,9,0,1,6,0,0,4,2,2,0,1,11,6,17,2,12,14,3,18,0,1,3,0,5,7,0,4,9,64,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21173843992229294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858476610252494,0.0,0.19262312325321196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18248467757811046,0.14935022527075525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507616959810652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292811942540956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22524414726549105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964161856771226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038490045765027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399116554283742,0.0,0.1993351403026417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832267851809428,0.2190989382492559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18978110101468235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262071318447667,0.0,0.2120240583419759,0.16512667538618886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19512928469579305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19573729735677411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316146969415809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456972626147415,0.149527086816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083924947965052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186884152196415,0.2112655380249517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250772028476743
mentalhealth,yozoraseiten,2019/02/16,"I'm going to kill myself and I can't tell anyone because they're going to call the police Before anyone starts with the ""get help, exhaust all your options"" thing, I've done that. I've gone to a psychiatrist, been medicated, gone through every antipsychotic they could offer, been hospitalised, in therapy, nothing's worked and eventually I gave up on the mental health system. I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit for something like this, probably not, but it feels sort of like a confession so I'm going to post it here anyway, feel free to downvote to your heart's content. A month ago, my boyfriend left me because of my mental illness. Saying I wasn't the woman he fell in love with anymore, that I'd never inspired him, never made him a better person, that I'd never given him anything besides trying to kill myself. And then he moved on within a week. And I haven't even come close. I've tried to live in denial, telling myself I have friends, I don't need him, I'll find someone else. He was the first man I'd ever loved, my first relationship, my first kiss. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I truly thought he was the one. I have borderline personality disorder, which makes interpersonal relationships extremely hard to keep healthy and alive. Our relationship was on and off, difficult, breaking up every month, not talking for six months, out of the blue one of us calls the other and we can't be apart. I'd spend weeks at a time at his house. I know that he truly cared about me. And I cared about him. I was so in love. And I was only falling harder and harder. I wanted to spend my entire life with him. I knew that that was hardly possible, given that we were 17, it had only been three years and he was my first boyfriend, but I pushed that thought deep inside and denied its existence. And then he left. I know I'm gonna get judged for this, but I can't carry on living without him. He was my everything. And I know for a fact that it's no one's fault but my own that I've lost him. If I'd just pretended to be fine, if I'd just sucked it up and stopped being so dramatic and making it all about myself, he wouldn't have gone. On February 3rd, my mum died. I messaged him on Reddit (he'd blocked me everywhere else, saying he might be back in a few years, once I'm better) to tell him. I then asked him to return my clothes since it'd been a month and I'd asked him multiple times. I asked him to knock at my window, like he always used to do when he'd drop by, so I could see him because I really needed support regarding my mother's death. He hit my window once and walked away. He doesn't care anymore. I'd be worried about hurting him, but he's given me no reason to be. So I've decided to end it here. I'm going to draw a bath tonight when my grandma and my sister have gone to bed and either slit my wrists or drown myself. I can't tell any of my friends because I know they'll call the police and that's not what I want. Every suicide attempt I've had in the past I've made the mistake of telling someone and it always resulted in me being taken to the ER and then to the psych ward. That's not what I want to happen this time. I've had enough and I want it to be over. I hate having to leave my closest friends behind without any kind of warning or sentimental message or anything of that kind but I can't risk anyone finding out. That's why I'm posting this here, to get it off my chest, to leave anyone who should find it with \*something\*. I'm sorry this was so long, but if you got through the entire thing, I'd like to thank you very much for reading. Take care.",3.7127110440303923,4.634161859269284,4.7703619756427615,86.1737526022692,71.81461434370772,7.416685749973978,25.848886228791514,7.61054688173877,1.220032559591964,2830,86,594,32,52,928,305,739,0.15,0.7390000000000001,0.111,-0.9755,0,0,2,0,0,3,90.0,4,4,2,9,22,37,5,1,25,0,51,12,3,7,8,107,120,51,6,15,25,3,4,4,3,5,5,3,4,4,41,34,0,3,17,3,3,14,22,12,1,9,35,9,88,26,80,66,7,86,1,2,2,4,79,33,1,10,38,367,129,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0508063034464315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538136935543737,0.0,0.0,0.07795235251857961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368218962951768,0.1603039671612735,0.0,0.0943307491362973,0.0,0.1607454088547537,0.0,0.05384934417672573,0.044071709418090514,0.0,0.13975480696906206,0.0,0.048770857120111234,0.0,0.0,0.10138094789869373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557511845309165,0.0,0.23374591441228054,0.0,0.0,0.04937181121960118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152275293603528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05948393767848303,0.0,0.06568797381484638,0.0,0.0,0.05865316066181321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575868264224348,0.0,0.050764092130611296,0.05922173274228412,0.0,0.037856027481899784,0.05184471327023368,0.14487111873398167,0.0,0.051511040639186836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057960388372222275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715465867822306,0.195008493138947,0.0,0.0,0.13284431743275554,0.0,0.08983419072606426,0.0,0.13029377754991606,0.0,0.04584005407879745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05068347931577763,0.0,0.10268599294333072,0.05658671228280545,0.0,0.06092318178019581,0.0,0.0679185698576913,0.03841704704028081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613383314096248,0.06135690998812561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05094421963919242,0.1268211464375065,0.11936953847207912,0.15749416923529147,0.0,0.0,0.12137665250478424,0.12454586505477627,0.0,0.040483290769434896,0.11200488679279066,0.0,0.10122041828112738,0.05072198551431774,0.0,0.0,0.06256611044242973,0.0,0.15518711885812952,0.10846570781544963,0.07651643640541518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773884872064085,0.11552011087698445,0.060802174502412785,0.0,0.0,0.18299319564551814,0.06091679142610853,0.04213313147096373,0.08499671617685749,0.13261462096987633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05499530359523257,0.0,0.0,0.12207724284660007,0.1165144143889392,0.08718130468175317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471366805020632,0.0,0.10009052236258947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461406874033097,0.1097838838860704,0.0,0.06179528112984658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733052620383775,0.0,0.0367174668502135,0.05892938219546831,0.0,0.18460463274194547,0.0,0.048946710454417786,0.0,0.09115840227396296,0.0,0.0,0.04567264710926176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04741157346800956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971256540344917,0.08824779886795038,0.0,0.06415946790268158,0.04056786328572854,0.0,0.0,0.047917919727833984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626933248419961,0.0650404008824647,0.05401872423426112,0.0,0.04309375905005365,0.046067638763610856,0.2504792509943171,0.05276796616832806,0.06554471578803714,0.0,0.07615509965892697,0.0,0.0,0.09100344102428977,0.10026254014072727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782626714248736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894290717190572,0.049501771474850575,0.0,0.04729089066994915,0.135223525544508,0.0,0.0919492972076928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05171788711130056,0.0,0.0,0.11049926016270016,0.0,0.04172601422762587,0.05820618083079141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381798224591841
mentalhealth,believealpha,2019/02/16,"I can’t get over her.. I met my ex over a year and a half ago. And we instantly connected. I thought she was incredibly beautiful and amazing, and for the first time someone thought the same thing about me. I was in total bliss. The problem was that she was a single mom with two kids and rarely had time for me.  I understood her kids came first but the limitation she put on herself didn’t allow are relationship to really develop. So  reluctantly broke things off. I ended up trying to work things out with her but she was upset at me for being so quick to end things. Fast forward 8 months later we reconnect and decide to give it another shot to see if we could make things work, but unfortunately it was just the same thing, which to her credit she warned me about. We agreed that the relationship just seemed like it was dragging on. She apologized for not being there for me and not giving me 100% 

Anyways I’ve been unable to move on from her. Our relationship wasn’t the best and wasn’t very long, but the mark she left on me was huge. I’ve been trying to move forward and casually date, but I’m constantly thinking about her. I also struggle to feel confident and like I’m worth anything. I question wether I was good enough or attractive enough. 
I sit with this hole in my chest. I wish things could’ve worked out, but it’s over and I try to accept it...but I can’t.  I can’t move on. 

I fear I’ll never be good enough for anyone or meet someone as beautiful as she was to me. ",2.505966802923325,4.496217431438126,3.7650092902266814,87.79347702217268,77.02675585284281,7.238994178124614,22.77975969280317,8.167268648758528,1.1525383624427104,1168,35,247,21,27,381,148,299,0.09,0.708,0.201,0.9898,0,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,5,0,0,7,11,15,0,3,11,0,24,1,1,2,2,53,40,25,0,4,13,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,15,21,0,1,9,1,2,7,9,5,0,4,21,2,45,10,41,15,8,41,0,1,1,0,33,19,0,5,20,179,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550132871860057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713484008507546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114123031277222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744341381578355,0.0,0.07937405246061939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122332424510444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103185544059737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423333392080217,0.0,0.1540225612411652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086058358632972,0.2989906662165634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853842574916577,0.04877042692248067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408874631444156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039363327254077,0.1850563977539266,0.0,0.16180335989654354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479838352950316,0.0,0.0,0.094245851342612,0.0,0.0,0.08535943106532744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438430408909045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296665407854027,0.07698927255478956,0.3075484490048231,0.0,0.0,0.07439186040103073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229418284192772,0.0,0.09696367900875434,0.1080514106172738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061791391813901524,0.0,0.0,0.3106689586989473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686195902945413,0.08780879474291076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345161740349812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083546211965456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44856181590545613,0.0618043182286703,0.0,0.15314861735110336,0.11248709735099248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964593603106982,0.0,0.09422228920103284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958528202765207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091821864580316,0.0,0.0,0.21066065133167006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211370575313325
mentalhealth,bluenette23,2019/02/16,"How to explain depression to someone who isn’t depressed? I’ve struggled with anxiety/depression since I was in middle school, I’m 19 now. I’m doing the best I’ve done in a long time, thanks to therapy and medication, but my struggles have certainly shaped me into who I am today. 

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few months now, and I’ve finally gotten to a point where I’ve tried to open up about some of the shit I’ve gone through. However, he just doesn’t get it. He thinks that medication is terrible and a cop-out, depressed people are just ungrateful for the good in their lives and need to snap out of it, suicidal people are evil because of all the people they hurt with their death, etc etc. I’ve tried to explain to him that this just isn’t how it works, but he firmly believes that he’s right and I should be able to go off my medication and quit therapy because I say he makes me so happy. And he does make me happy. 

I love this guy, but I’m worried that this could be a serious dealbreaker if/when my depression flares up again. I genuinely don’t think he would want to support me and would rather leave if I ever showed signs of depression. But maybe that’s my own insecurities? At least I’m really good at pretending everything is fine. 

Is there a way to explain it in a way that anyone can understand? ",5.418581460674158,5.527163112359553,6.253705524344571,79.94887289325844,67.68913857677903,10.270505617977527,30.91970973782772,10.125756701596842,2.855000187265917,1049,38,216,24,16,347,142,267,0.203,0.642,0.155,-0.9448,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,3,3,14,23,2,3,11,0,22,5,1,4,3,43,43,16,2,8,9,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,15,13,0,0,6,2,0,2,4,13,0,0,5,1,20,10,32,32,8,31,0,6,0,1,19,17,1,2,10,134,35,2,0.09723072592391817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798598429298575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854189612050055,0.0,0.0,0.10954573232680148,0.10203764819806553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763082291407314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5024680905881541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508726348232021,0.09950079040717172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168759223736498,0.0,0.08795075816229612,0.0,0.0,0.08738470698701795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651150764931593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05079904124502743,0.0,0.055258462225520895,0.1631050396488731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627370525763257,0.0,0.20700783148802573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408750307525977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295329974489817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585651234029641,0.08604613277015699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775452628732636,0.0,0.12980452912635138,0.0,0.09768133288838876,0.0,0.0,0.2938491815315384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776086377972371,0.0,0.0,0.07209535126653062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20222262859658108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191446374609788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341684538670896,0.0,0.0,0.062288492761890774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303450867936546,0.0,0.07732177581028102,0.0,0.0984026855357203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980594291782603,0.08043026123886306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238327854970429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032933315792045,0.0,0.10635463297536374,0.11033627554223063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951698907073401,0.2223836176715769,0.0,0.0,0.12460304633481448,0.0,0.0,0.056696018195022076,0.0,0.09216335928550068,0.0,0.0,0.13202656101973478,0.0,0.0,0.10122061471251864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05734920131117013,0.15435444904128334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078512648496918,0.09874252186749027,0.0,0.1381398360210814,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GaleForceWindd,2019/02/16,"Should I take time off? Struggling and I don't know what to do. I am looking for advice. I'm a 22 year old masters student in her first year. I've been struggling with mental illness for at least 5 years now. Lately, however, I feel like I'm living life through molasses. I've always sort of struggled with certain tasks but I've always gotten them done. I finished my bachelor degree while keeping my scholarships, and I've gotten accepted into my masters program. I have been lucky, but I also did work hard to get where I am. 

But right now, I'm falling behind in my work, I arrive at work late and leave early, I keep telling myself I'm going to get it together. I haven't been able to eat well or be active. I'm really really struggling. 

My problem is my work. I don't know if I should try to take some time off to try and get better? Even if I do that, I can't do a lot anyway so how am I supposed to recover? Go to therapy more often? My therapist is very busy, as is my physician. I just don't know what to do. All I know is that I am incredibly overwhelmed and don't really know what to do.

Has anyone gone through something similar? What were your steps to getting better? Did you take some time off from work?

Hope y'all are having a great weekend! ",1.2606592306592326,3.4537011119691137,3.231419991419993,88.9803718003718,82.28185328185329,5.844759044759043,23.10610610610611,7.0931098945946705,0.9150976976976976,984,35,201,13,27,331,137,259,0.078,0.7809999999999999,0.141,0.9643,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,1,10,11,15,0,5,3,0,33,4,0,1,2,37,60,16,0,6,7,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,8,1,2,7,1,1,5,6,6,1,1,10,3,33,9,29,47,6,31,0,1,1,0,6,10,0,10,17,135,40,8,0.10052909342138387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823586661137204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039307968891961,0.16729651788871688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070292279538078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781962744218058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287616552581448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286635968576158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639851809236344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083053019513865,0.0718180044268993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550999550891795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100892085094208,0.0,0.11426600097047895,0.0,0.0,0.11083368039595204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900543217792735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984807278926486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870975453151267,0.0,0.0,0.276240803407364,0.0,0.2268023922368386,0.10644579467804446,0.0,0.0,0.07100667168201863,0.04911343712503962,0.0,0.0887690312694525,0.0,0.08441911957480945,0.0,0.0,0.08546624027245991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013096814736403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054883727320267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619276565364196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19320453432088214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585129650022738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739220752291671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203793426012646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267561017585151,0.0,0.08786685864944414,0.0,0.11496377952471827,0.11672202574142525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758579684226894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650531106023556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294703033100763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038772804459372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659318865324577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19421232056272544
mentalhealth,peachesandkittens,2019/02/16,"Do I have OCD? Or is this something else? Just an FYI, I suffer with anxiety, which I'm currently going to the doctors for, because of my age he doesn't want to prescribe me tablets but we're keeping them as a back up. Recently my anxiety has been bad so I've been going to the doctor more often for general checkups for my health and mental health as I've been suffering with hypotension as well.

My bf has brought to my attention that sometimes I will repeat my sentences under my breath and whisper it. Not all the time but some sentences, I swear I don't realize I'm doing it and when he says I do I don't think it's actually me. I've also got a bit of an obsession with picking my skin, particularly my scalp when I'm stressed out. 

I'm wondering if this is something to mention to my doctor which could explain my headaches and if it's a serious problem. If anyone has any idea or advice on what this could be I would greatly appreciate the help :)",4.410249801744648,5.1600855206185585,5.861958762886598,79.61488104678827,70.08247422680411,9.06201427438541,32.96431403647898,9.265573868473778,2.9278704203013484,757,35,150,15,13,257,113,194,0.142,0.763,0.095,-0.821,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,2,9,0,20,9,3,1,1,34,33,18,0,8,9,0,1,0,1,2,6,2,0,0,11,8,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,7,1,0,5,3,22,2,21,23,4,15,0,2,0,0,8,4,0,8,8,106,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.1482407002937267,0.0,0.0,0.14844314532252512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121481104843291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033029315747748,0.0,0.2324190438465812,0.0,0.0,0.10621789603385612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680819462928298,0.12683718156811344,0.09260196001223864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584464558783207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425730174553184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4664540999525407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689998853241152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266610630705262,0.0,0.1214950368241247,0.16747956416706594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322943083841227,0.0,0.0,0.10182100869274306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148611053319776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502317930080313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308795339552078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535583777550942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999123375441073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080366901471645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338930393642077,0.15024130703327698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401057649677396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733677873998632,0.0,0.0,0.08857901858447881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959951916329065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365839088342024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473819642845006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791137977342627,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InevitableVagrant,2019/02/16,"Could bipolar, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder all be disorders on the spectrum? Since there is so much overlap between these three disorders (and others), could it be possible that they all exist on the same spectrum?

Similar to how the recent DSM updated autism to the ‘autism spectrum.’ Do you think that one day bipolar, schizophrenia, borderline will be regarded as different ‘levels’ of the same disorder?

Or are they fundamentally too dissimilar?",10.347432432432432,12.632257256756759,9.317135135135137,54.623810810810824,57.51351351351353,13.487567567567568,45.88108108108108,12.688352899677879,7.214695135135138,383,23,47,14,5,120,52,74,0.081,0.919,0.0,-0.7476,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,5,0,9,2,0,1,2,11,10,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,7,4,5,7,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,3,43,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29068843151324103,0.0,0.0,0.11740081168070755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901931705515384,0.8345349528926752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338204272613544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335509033138335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895040315961947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20522287292803104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17974264795892536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058546082658425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664395256034545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,moistclump,2019/02/16,"I had a bad psychiatrist appointment last year and it’s stuck with me. I was diagnosed with depression as a child and I’ve been on and off medication ever since. I thought it was time to officially revisit the diagnosis because it left a lot of behaviours and mental health challenges in my life unexplained. I finally worked up the courage to ask my doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist last year, anniversary of the appointment was Valentines Day.

As soon as I sit down the psychiatrist tells me how he doesn’t want to be there, he’s doing a favour for the hospital, he’s a very important person, and he’ll only see me for this one session. Which, okay, lets get into it then.

He asks a few questions, some weirder than others. I found them to be leading questions rather than open, and then arguing with my answers for a while asking me “are you sure? Because a lot of people...” Yes, I’m sure.

At the end of maybe a half hour conversation he said to double my medication, that no I’ll never be able to be off medication, and to “watch out” for bipolar without explaining what to look for. Most of what I’d discussed with him was my anxiety, because that was the biggest non-explained aspect of the depression diagnosis. But he didn’t address that at all, he was already getting up to leave when I had to say “but what about the anxiety” and his reply was “oh, yeh, try to figure out what makes you anxious and fix that.”

He passed along a dysthymia diagnosis to my doctor. Which I’d accept if it weren’t missing a lot of what we talked about - non functioning weeks (no energy or desire for showers, living in filth), constant anxiety and almost daily hyperventilation attacks at the time, chest pains, anxious puking, breathing problems (air hunger), constant fatigue to the point of missing work for weeks at a time, loss of interest in hobbies, a lifetime pattern of erratic self destructive behaviours. I don’t “look” like your typical anxious or depressed person, is that it?

If the diagnosis was “less than” clinical depression then why’d you try to double my medication and tell me I’ll never be able to be off of them? 

What did you mean “watch out” for bipolar?

You went to how many years of school to say things like “oh yeh, try to find what makes you anxious and stop doing that.” 

It just left me feeling unheard, invalidated, and defeated. And here I am almost exactly a year later still thinking about it. Is it worth getting a second opinion or do I just take what I get and learn to deal with my behaviours and moods without a diagnosis?",7.5468466316292435,7.1850135755693625,7.950238095238099,71.15085164835169,63.34782608695652,11.240293040293038,37.417502787068,10.727762888450028,4.053194043637522,2019,91,364,46,26,667,230,483,0.153,0.7709999999999999,0.076,-0.9909,2,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,1,7,2,6,14,26,3,0,30,2,30,17,2,5,7,77,57,33,0,6,12,0,1,2,0,1,14,3,2,4,28,28,1,1,13,0,1,3,10,15,0,3,19,9,37,10,76,30,10,57,0,9,5,0,41,24,0,15,31,256,65,9,0.14790834140009268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481088385965434,0.0,0.08161026635445241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972421449220632,0.3341886506930883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20741149957598526,0.08413354554202962,0.0,0.0,0.061748643466764876,0.13524532812285806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598363716525658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04769432202563578,0.07624350267500953,0.2547864754313682,0.07506192653748342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139045483605587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550144447943394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689578135436834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03739345078014526,0.0,0.0,0.08101317915059518,0.06759277222707526,0.0,0.0,0.08108693100639361,0.0,0.0,0.1545520073797702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860982520121952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072829961206291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056503930442986,0.0,0.07830678863207256,0.16070284570516682,0.07562315008915954,0.052236017850103705,0.07226054446918084,0.0,0.06530288763135719,0.0,0.12420575510840287,0.0,0.0,0.18861957390902528,0.0,0.0,0.09872996641165556,0.07497792152376984,0.07429690458434507,0.08055777230039883,0.0,0.2980041864277461,0.07452840985906285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140760311477662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05011326001533255,0.056245479319948055,0.07869245178157401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051270510264920084,0.12914785861987896,0.0,0.0,0.06991059541200043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076415363103015,0.0,0.0,0.16569119278223374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034735167042942,0.11762264968748072,0.0,0.07484556897318682,0.05893189916917881,0.0,0.0771503288454704,0.0,0.0,0.061175654224391536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905989625155375,0.06182899815379589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394018613462673,0.0,0.055604332656331946,0.059441561074499986,0.12927840970772342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04913186489478243,0.04738684644605663,0.0,0.05871135077480779,0.12936981497665132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063008227821462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061019935934848626,0.04362008596537985,0.0,0.1186431497775342,0.0,0.0,0.0685562571540742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425783629882179,0.0,0.10767903411911152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19049624499240075
mentalhealth,disectem,2019/02/16,"I want to know what this diagnosis mean. So, I visited a psychiatrist for the first time and in my file, he wrote dull affect and mod. severe 'D' episode. I want to know what these terms mean.",1.5402631578947386,3.830484868421056,3.020263157894739,90.32934210526315,81.89473684210526,6.957894736842108,20.026315789473685,8.07648339933343,0.7665578947368425,147,4,33,3,4,48,30,38,0.14,0.792,0.069,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,7,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,4,0,4,6,1,5,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,18,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733120976645066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35317486799269565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.700016875959398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629967794524402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873625414766516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37904221324171855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sweaty_Condition,2019/02/16,"People keep telling me I'm depressed but I don't feel like I am. I've been diagnosed with depression. That being said, I don't feel like I am depressed. Yes, I do have suicidal thoughts but I don't feel like they're that serious. I think it's something else, like maybe bipolar depression, because the thing is there are a few days every month where I have a good amount of energy and I don't feel that bad, but usually by the end of the day I just crash and feel terrible for no reason I can think of. Also, I feel like if I say ""i have suicidal thoughts a lot"" people automatically think ""he's super depressed and needs a lot of help"", but I don't feel that way. I feel like it's not that bad and I'll get over eventually if I just give it time. I'm not trying to downplay, I'm observing how I feel and I don't think it's too bad. I lost a lot interest in things but I don't really think it's because I'm depressed, I think it's some other reason. It probably sounds stupid when I type it out and I understand I probably am severely depressed like people say but I want to get help just every time I do I wait a few days to think about it and in that time I guess I downplay how bad it is or I have a good day and think that if I just keep doing the good things I'm doing I'll have more good days.",1.9112174751044009,3.0084131590106047,3.9370655316415046,89.74731368454866,76.42049469964664,7.6896241567619645,23.464343077417283,8.296473431620573,1.108308833922261,1016,30,240,18,22,348,109,283,0.263,0.578,0.159,-0.9879,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,12,28,1,0,11,1,25,2,0,4,0,60,61,22,2,5,16,0,9,7,0,0,2,4,0,0,21,10,0,3,22,0,0,0,10,15,0,0,5,13,33,13,15,55,8,18,0,8,0,0,8,5,0,9,19,144,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05600270435507208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338874079142668,0.08537887757862303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258167290105797,0.0,0.42221518436706734,0.07107864418249263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585008059451738,0.0,0.06202550454481145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180060400479814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186819623244306,0.25014606262466904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317522775511859,0.0671788437040722,0.0,0.2349502693711221,0.0,0.0,0.07714558024228946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387882756434823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449118241423975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394907269223417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644566079530063,0.17861017160328355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035421935479035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055897017024245856,0.0,0.0,0.051926115333230514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14564927351106338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510076642641632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04486280186262945,0.1440043349454041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661425584468847,0.11138081382394956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911359755927509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391226376776878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320219240448946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612090210574673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957380941193825,0.3589774952858649,0.0,0.11119147625693183,0.12250459681564944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047545551232671394,0.0,0.0,0.072903359527742,0.0,0.0,0.07712779130941518,0.0,0.0413053156581947,0.05558629497125296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YourFriendlyFBIMan,2019/02/16,"My ex is really depressed and thinks everyone hates her. How can her friends and I help her even though she doesn't want help? I broke up with my ex a while back, she has been very depresssed before we were dating and during the time that we were, she talks about suicide sometime. She hasn't done it because she's still alive nor hospitalized. After we broke up she thinks that I somehow hate her now (I don't hate her, we broke up because of reasons on my side) and that her best friends for years hate her as well. She recently was texting me and was implying heavily that she was involved with drugs and alcohol. She told me later that she doean't take drugs but I'm doubtful on that. She tells me that she has a psychiatrist but I don't believe that because I tried to get her to go to one before and.she got really pissed instead of just telling me that she has one. 

She thinks that she doesn't have a meaning in life and that her being dead would just help her parents financially so they don't waste money on her (she has other physical diseases which require medicines that she doesn't take because she thinks that shes gonna die anyways). When ever she talks about suicide and then later the suicide situation gets resolved she'd say some very not practical goals to stay alive with such as haven't watched the fourth avengers movie.

Her friends and I tried to talk to her and tell her that we don't actually hate her. We just don't want to see her doing the wrong thing and truly wants to help her. She doesn't get that. How can we help her even though she doesn't want help? And the 'psychiatrist' that she's got is probably more fictional than vaccines causing autism!

So my questions is, what mental disease/disorder does she have? How can we help her even though she thinks that we hate her and want her to fail?",5.4846702898550745,6.138627025000003,5.034903381642515,86.84304347826088,67.6388888888889,8.26086956521739,30.09661835748793,8.18289091462,1.8489045893719809,1459,52,301,18,23,443,159,360,0.174,0.6990000000000001,0.128,-0.9803,1,0,3,0,0,3,27.0,9,0,1,5,26,20,7,1,8,0,36,5,1,5,1,55,65,29,5,6,6,3,0,0,3,2,4,1,0,0,22,25,1,1,9,0,1,1,14,14,1,2,10,3,72,6,28,51,3,24,0,5,2,0,80,8,1,4,14,212,94,3,0.0,0.0,0.07305122511377063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000111029644685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057561666290630614,0.0,0.1825325059427475,0.0,0.12739836232009272,0.08434004217638998,0.07855951454987882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690043452762357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644756289639087,0.0,0.07769144005328803,0.0,0.08579447627429225,0.0,0.06550929222294083,0.07660636960726072,0.0,0.0,0.17362449122937684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833025878326386,0.06771391724074219,0.0,0.07153062966707414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350677724182065,0.0,0.11733163465495132,0.0,0.04254388496668662,0.0,0.11974257093577123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44344439894628895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512331356240683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287486472354178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815429944341558,0.0,0.0,0.0754398928468626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145229109041368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312165051377203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807102651042585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385879862993324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591271143214274,0.07696714008683768,0.0739138668420695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953058776893098,0.0,0.0,0.05965263671923544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414423740409663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403709993091219,0.0,0.0,0.0797893401098156,0.05978219920684703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456495759425052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256874808807926,0.18050559537995645,0.19628922838028653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973274795528455,0.2398319395919952,0.22064467386855047,0.0,0.043650669580960325,0.0,0.0,0.07153062966707414,0.0,0.1016481928441482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353242037908915,0.22076779964996351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730689919432525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317742347780688,0.08184616120815863,0.0,0.04820650385917514
mentalhealth,theryles,2019/02/16,"Guilt about somewhat traumatic(?) experiences The last days I've more less been trying to come to terms with my childhood being... not very picturebook-like and that the symptoms i suffer from today can mostly be very much linked back to stuff in my childhood/early teens.
The thing that i noticed now is just: Usually when I read about trauma there's this one abuser, who's the...absolute bad person and who did this stuff to you and are just kinda evil for that. (very simplified, of course it's always more complex than that). 

In my case it's my mother who had really bad depression when i was younger (as far as i can remember, it's all a big blur for me) and neglected me, put her emotions above mine, always, and i basically had to care for her as a child. 
And of course all that was fucked up in handsight, but as much as i wanna be angry at her for putting me into this position that until now affected me so much - i just can't? because i still love her and i get how horrible she must have felt during that time.
And i know she never meant to hurt me - so, whenever i even try to acknowledge how painful it has been for me, i immediately feel incredibly guilty because that also requires me to acknowledge that she has fucked up a lot, and that she hurt me. And i just...i don't even in my mind wanna paint her as the bad guy in that because it feels wrong, i struggle recognizing it as any form of trauma or something because it would mean that she's somehow..the 'evil' one, and above all - all i wanna do is still ...just help her.

Anyways, that was a lot more than i intended to write (guess i just had to get it out of my system):D

What i really wanted to ask is just: Does anyone of you experience something similar? 
Feeling super guilty and ashamed even just admitting to yourself that something might be considered as traumatic/abuse/whatever, because that person didn't possibly wanna hurt you and therefore you 'simply can't be angry at them' or anything?

 ",6.323605506764778,6.280055109660577,6.696673391882273,78.05824531212916,65.78851174934725,9.99235699026822,32.03050083076193,9.688023934748609,2.844520626631853,1549,56,299,29,22,503,183,383,0.196,0.747,0.057,-0.9955,0,0,3,0,2,0,57.0,0,4,1,2,26,23,4,3,8,0,31,5,0,5,6,70,49,32,0,7,11,1,4,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,33,17,0,2,13,1,0,3,6,20,0,2,12,4,50,3,52,29,17,32,0,6,0,3,29,13,2,10,16,234,83,2,0.0,0.11043220666462998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453568264697842,0.15510738254522424,0.0,0.0,0.06338232216683015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517082142463307,0.0,0.07669944188753232,0.0,0.08713371661612107,0.0,0.0,0.07166858201269931,0.2334658363222861,0.2840832865680669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502829852972236,0.0,0.0,0.0802875075241591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010925452169489,0.0,0.08027698292973856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156397103879401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484262676983194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18468227210273824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234396109649692,0.0,0.0,0.14138113437361055,0.0,0.08949102967266698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723322963264083,0.09739111023987383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267537171239337,0.09228720475964716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06247307678430832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299332346776962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05122280906911315,0.07597418650875054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847843089550107,0.08412078785575014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152713013307303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887534854928774,0.0941100734522948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055483094358338,0.0,0.07188513118396159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611405158273617,0.0,0.0,0.1263156943316816,0.0,0.09917626275371676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16276531828131566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507417901039608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18739272678620286,0.0,0.0,0.09322981961267827,0.0,0.11941850311678286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558263939229427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21526035729437065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488666233226413,0.0,0.0,0.0974376818027033,0.21339392940729335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687526381574024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061920992828006026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543483501151096,0.0,0.08834705994702136,0.0,0.0,0.12655960667489047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265169588690216,0.2307106614095814,0.05497448623217487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620987162707606,0.10190459545342087,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,748974845,2019/02/16,"I need help. I really need help. I have suicidal thoughts every single day and I just kept telling myself ""it's not that bad"", ""you'll get over it"", etc, etc. But it's gotten to the point where I'm not sure that's the case. I feel like my body is starting to shut down, I'm constantly tired, I can never focus, and I feel sick to my stomach all the time. I've gone to a psychiatrist but I think I need more than that. Problem is I have no clue why I feel bad, I'm not sure if it's frustration, sadness, anger, etc. I'm not sure why either, I had a couple possible reasons in my head but I'm not sure now.",1.019318181818182,2.2685235075757606,3.214242424242425,93.39136363636364,79.07575757575758,6.618181818181819,21.090909090909093,7.348242739294969,0.3907181818181811,461,12,113,6,11,158,74,132,0.294,0.6659999999999999,0.04,-0.988,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,0,3,11,2,0,5,0,7,5,3,1,6,30,25,6,1,5,11,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,6,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,5,3,17,5,8,19,7,13,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,7,66,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21997073797719754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631743976442518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423485709728037,0.0,0.0,0.14575186453913966,0.0,0.0849521108827921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4407265729173266,0.0,0.0,0.11098449440525783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981325504056893,0.09410479082791576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688211862044459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518846250044889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17658577829323235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435447161715839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930185770666207,0.10159489888466126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452326400886934,0.1485008153442962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260436037346119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438678868137071,0.13543584972076578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323605357398468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408642014320475,0.0,0.4965992545607569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151339753853556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440444192722713,0.0,0.10457540791583328,0.07681025329650706,0.15139919293355913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23772372034880346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spacenb,2019/02/16,"How do I convince my boyfriend with a psychosomatic disorder to have a therapy? My boyfriend has a confirmed psychosomatic disorder. He went to the doctor and did all the tests required. All came back negative. In despair, his doc prescribed him Amitriptyline, which worked and gave him back an admirable quality of life.

However, instead of using this gain to seek therapy so he can end his suffering for good, he's been using the ""I feel good now, why would I go to therapy?"" angle to justify not going. He has told me multiple times that he will do it but he never does.

Lately he has started getting psychosomatic symptoms, different ones, and they seem to conveniently flare up every week when it is time to do the laundry.

His arguments against it are the costs, the energy it takes to go and the fact that his previous experiences with therapy were very meh.

But if he doesn't go, the only solution for him to stop having these flares is for me to take on all of the tasks related to household chores (and I'm sick too, I have fibromyalgia).

I just don't know what to tell him anymore. I'm tempted to give him $500 of my savings so he can pay for his therapy and no longer has money as an excuse, but I know he will never accept it.

I appreciate any advice, thanks for reading.",4.836869918699186,6.2946339065040675,6.0009756097561,76.38040650406505,69.6910569105691,9.694308943089432,31.959349593495933,9.994966539143718,3.3287252032520316,1015,45,188,26,18,339,144,246,0.126,0.794,0.08,-0.9034,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,3,10,9,0,0,14,0,23,4,0,3,6,33,45,15,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,11,9,0,2,5,1,3,6,7,2,0,1,7,1,23,7,29,35,3,22,0,2,0,0,26,3,0,2,13,129,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075991687391965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487923771500145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920049781950614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933708345682644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593761956534485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504253117991847,0.2523934299546036,0.11270324698127035,0.09635885476580974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097525639681709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277324405858034,0.0,0.0,0.107709660533588,0.0,0.0,0.055675416568640564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752843889014093,0.10562847901678614,0.2503144145552326,0.18471172046052545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102822255772445,0.0,0.12420997398683298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777463681516293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984874148125964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461404520728747,0.08374435699054789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014077090027784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002408946198568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793711364484418,0.0,0.0,0.09205770412775266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444746200476852,0.16557949689448365,0.0,0.09624184400802348,0.10137539034536856,0.6296074712158117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284131880487377,0.0,0.0,0.10521575369704242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19020105455806727,0.0,0.09085308473237567,0.0,0.0,0.08832438099544354,0.0,0.0,0.1020739754103298,0.09935802674336654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016209998294124,0.0,0.0,0.07821967619921147,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-Cokeman,2019/02/16,"How do you deal with your brain being in pieces? Your head is all over the place but you have certain obligations. Act like everything's alright; act normal. Life hit you in the face and you need a second to get your bearings, though that second feels like hours. An image, sound, or even smell that was ruined for you years ago is once again taking its toll. Talking about it or even admitting it's happening doesn't help. You just want the day to end, but it never does. You want to sleep, but you can't. You want to stop thinking, but you can't.

​

I want to be gone. I want to take off my skin, take off my flesh like it's a coat. I'm uncomfortable in my own body. I want to leave this vessel for the time being. I want to be alone. Go to a small island in the middle of the ocean all on my own. Stay until this ends or until the day I die. I want to pick up the pieces but can't. I know they're scattered around here somewhere, I just don't know where. Kind of like dropping a brown bead on a wooden floor. The bead and floor blend, become one. I know where the it fell, I just don't see it. It's hiding in plane sight. I'm looking right at it and don't even know it. I can't focus on it long enough to see where the bead ends, and when the floor starts. I feel so close but I can never quite get there.

​

To anyone dealing with anything similar, how do you deal with it? Does anything help? ",0.7361867916303382,2.812275266891895,1.8075196163905856,99.1102789886661,83.49324324324324,4.630165649520489,16.305143853530947,5.642373280135919,-0.8380367044463819,1093,20,256,6,31,343,145,296,0.094,0.804,0.102,-0.7063,0,1,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,14,0,1,19,8,0,0,18,1,19,8,7,3,5,48,51,20,1,10,12,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,16,9,0,1,8,0,0,5,10,1,0,3,2,10,31,7,36,44,7,50,0,1,5,0,21,25,0,3,22,162,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121748809571103,0.0,0.0,0.0948928925705879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19854507429562626,0.22266182753820646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406432204983828,0.0,0.15079440886925696,0.08156311872483261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011894417250855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177152921033612,0.0,0.10228059583622774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181773853903895,0.2833751718169334,0.0,0.0,0.09508930334563707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603582828654641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434500309191704,0.094670150113857,0.0,0.18154665382832855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234406060110026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265380146396746,0.06545486637816599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573756038066857,0.0,0.05207096663833742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102114499077002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940307360654761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282476185090482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022933997066536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541034686836232,0.2014125011633313,0.0,0.0,0.09701460410614623,0.0,0.0,0.06471541842457589,0.1790477744429145,0.0,0.0,0.08108269988670612,0.07693951169523097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793664679370917,0.1413292665058691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977023198437663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757457584081876,0.062085524968963066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572562273256753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745141086257687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824479649158786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602194693448484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168829616415752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485061360449182,0.09765699747934284,0.0,0.07660020137402734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066653126813736,0.07364239570835916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058707759928747966,0.09001827533249941,0.0,0.05342559950204508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4323288383989896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22266182753820646,0.059001646327493065
mentalhealth,Trustme19196,2019/02/16,"I feel ugly and hopeless all the time 4 years ago, i had an accident, fell off a motorbike which then left several small scars on my face. Through time it got better now, it's hard to see under low light but because it's a scar, it still can be seen in some certain harsh light, like daylight. I should feel lucky that i didnt die that day 'cause it was close to a cliff on the highway where i fell off, and the scars don't disfigure my face. But the truth is i'm still struggling over it after all these years without anybody knows make me feel incredibly lonely in this. The scars were bad at the first, i went through a lot of treatments and i didnt feel as hopeless as i feel right now. I shared with friends how it went but now i just dont feel like talking about it at all while i'm still struggling inside, everybody around just thinks i've already got on with my life and been over it but the fact is i havent. I think all the time i've spent being isolated just trying to fix myself did play a toll on my mentality. Beside from not feeling confident, hating myself, i got really depressed. And it goes beyond just looks now, i feel so hopeless for many other reasons. It's been a long time and I shouldnt care about what defection i have but since it's there, everytime i look at it, it reminds me that this was the beginning of a downhill in my life, which i still can not get over. 
It started to play tricks on my mind like, if some guy like me or ppl call me beautiful i just thought ""did they not see?"" And i just feel like such a burden i just dont want to be with anybody and pull them in this mess with me. I'm just curious what ppl really think about how my face all the time and i know i shouldnt care but it's a mind trick my brian has played on me for so long.So please, this is just some article online so be honest and let me know just hypothetically, will u be ok to date someone with an imperfection like this. And what is wrong with my mind. Can anybody tell me if i have any mental illness at this point


",4.397454644412189,4.4481904834905714,4.991226415094341,88.32373004354137,69.87264150943396,8.315529753265603,26.92089985486212,8.012643519586192,1.303438606676342,1591,45,362,19,26,511,190,424,0.16699999999999998,0.677,0.156,-0.2019,0,2,0,0,0,3,34.0,0,0,2,2,31,35,3,2,21,1,34,6,3,5,8,83,72,29,1,6,23,0,10,6,1,4,3,0,0,1,32,19,0,0,17,3,1,5,12,16,0,1,18,17,45,19,48,44,9,59,0,6,5,0,8,29,0,8,31,241,77,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574466492112407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429420263676977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05810769944676882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606700530375743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134566960377425,0.05208842361533532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557198031607483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725215582575623,0.0,0.17424024936696594,0.08777882907353728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05510701369575046,0.0,0.07359640096960382,0.0,0.08868173084854067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002892849468581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38884655134603097,0.12208840823613085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072682186892207,0.0,0.0,0.06601705974816567,0.0,0.04464315261051868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20502217051624091,0.0,0.0,0.08460714239596599,0.0,0.0,0.07654479464134085,0.08436239738181939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408802719332163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283970861836201,0.0873765637225987,0.1207091674153537,0.2504740173212968,0.0,0.0,0.1512379187738742,0.1435099181024273,0.0,0.0,0.07264499561117806,0.0,0.0,0.057037330442643586,0.08663105319053352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17222335608915207,0.0,0.2588349405384104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937964531771628,0.08077615898966793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948059727487387,0.08785497085240339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297228750897361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618228907361146,0.0,0.0,0.09653213301160712,0.0,0.0706836258911073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239997422607522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604806687891265,0.0,0.2729561401337973,0.0,0.0,0.17865800227636372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868001852439777,0.0746854844744319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425525000843888,0.0,0.06783631832536177,0.2491276341693629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801371214681075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039955643801725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842265667969085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823690060809148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342418204978314,0.0,0.11005166585807366
mentalhealth,Marthaish9,2019/02/16,"why do i still feel a certain way days after my panic attack? I had my first panic attack the night before valentine. I was given sleeping drugs but when i woke up, i felt fatigued and like a hand was gripping my chest. I still feel that way. The doctor says I'm tensed up and need to calm down if i do not want another panic attack. I sensed two on their way yesterday and did my best to calm down but at night, i woke up with a panic attack which i kept under control by playing a game and not sleeping. I have insomnia now and i use sleeping tablets to sleep. The Doctor believes my triggers are the constant quarrels from my parents and i think so too since my first happened after a sensitive conversation with my dad and i almost had it twice yesterday again when they were quarreling. But last Night's own happened at my cousin's place and my parents weren't there, I'm confused. Truth is my dad mentally/emotionally abuses my mum and i feel worried/guilty that i can't help her because i love her so much. Also, i get paranoid easily but i want this feeling to end and never happen again, I'm distracting myself the best way i can but it's not working. Honestly, I'm not scared or expecting another panic attack but i still feel this way. The doctor believes it won't happen again.",3.2465802556818204,5.198911292968752,4.389588068181819,84.31705965909094,74.7421875,6.842045454545455,26.48011363636364,7.686295010490155,1.5887640624999997,1025,38,193,14,22,335,131,256,0.201,0.634,0.165,-0.8240000000000001,2,0,1,0,1,0,21.0,0,0,2,6,14,24,5,8,11,0,15,13,6,3,3,44,40,23,0,5,12,6,8,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,8,12,0,2,7,2,0,0,8,14,0,4,12,9,38,10,19,27,4,38,0,1,0,1,15,10,0,4,24,136,46,4,0.0,0.08689240008295737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343645191508659,0.0,0.0,0.058647604287092085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380056135335946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171573506476203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04470557881419223,0.0,0.062404419400085676,0.1652514606419322,0.15392539761288834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925128663738977,0.08225372618787044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04729632369340582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251907035863537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504768327854471,0.0,0.0,0.08249429895663073,0.06495484973703555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540705444566105,0.0,0.07041505905761974,0.0,0.0,0.12476089729621942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03831557645672297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594068086265481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915627194556543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059779475657348924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0358287732828986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618954175074496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391116257148471,0.05437848581241588,0.056562046231874004,0.0,0.0,0.2064655317884705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4302260746900559,0.1628642078414121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662159766957488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832055763687113,0.07342317065865868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066515722348442,0.0,0.2935600120074757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757011643174866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04699141392800908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163963166308958,0.0,0.0,0.06333965590467211,0.0,0.0,0.0865121724235388,0.2910576434479245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617527163468734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053390238464375135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,engkulimali,2019/02/16,"Am I really that depressed but how bad can that be? My grandfather died last year of August. I always looked up to him as my role-model because he had been taking care of me since my father passed away when I was 5. I still have a mother and I spent most of time with her, but that family feeling or relationship is not as a strong or good as when I am with my grandfather.

Now that he is not alive anymore, I am not motivated to care for a people around me. I always cared for people but now I am done with my them, my relationships, friends family and what not. 
Only at work that I have to act normal, putting up a mask smile like I am happy with everything but really I dont care. 

I dont even care about my family members, my  brother had his wedding last month, but I dont care at all, the same month my sister in law gave birth to my niece, still I am not brother to congratulate them.

I had a fight with my mother just now, she wanted me to attend my aunty birthday, someone who has been there for my family, but i rather not going to her event, i just want to stay at home & avoiding people at all. Even, at the dinner table, I love to eat alone than with my mom.

I was very good with socializing, people liked me for that, but now I just want to be left alone.

Am i having a mental illness, what is it? Depression? But what am I depressed about? When it gets worse, will it cause me to harm other?",3.0599116347570003,3.9871872542955344,4.574423171330388,86.94731958762888,73.36426116838487,7.604712812960236,22.104565537555228,7.957251820313856,0.8345946980854202,1085,24,238,15,21,364,141,291,0.16899999999999998,0.647,0.183,0.7107,0,3,0,0,1,1,37.0,0,0,2,3,20,21,1,1,8,0,30,4,0,3,2,44,47,19,1,5,20,7,1,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,14,10,2,1,2,0,1,5,9,7,0,0,10,2,49,14,41,34,4,35,0,3,1,1,25,11,0,3,20,181,63,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773653826502811,0.0,0.0,0.1424953486083335,0.09277571302186004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491796328406002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622527552323836,0.0,0.0,0.08044842638186803,0.0,0.0714941162889318,0.052196802355961365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5238083566796609,0.08796146771545266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124859204164055,0.0,0.08886624812971007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762510574093804,0.3010590308201443,0.0,0.0,0.0876167535850512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131103038132772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769551091860114,0.0,0.32288221184933513,0.0,0.04329506801164094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615441936281205,0.0,0.04473604021052045,0.0,0.048663217405395615,0.1436380182270619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115044739399944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588983896131833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395932032911774,0.0,0.0,0.09303287727277264,0.0,0.0,0.0836650569038292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190425733201923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772807895666592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862908478979121,0.0,0.0,0.10028411231978496,0.13669167984625186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389527980016775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651224158696122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374490914959763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607775945893667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970839010161136,0.0,0.0,0.1838605147248449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083069508278668,0.0,0.0,0.08728490297369207,0.07255061456961731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126590125554787,0.1367620356840222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438008030475884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049929197236516405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065040057142813,0.1515132636178764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233673288171222,0.0,0.08726018834988675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055140323444602984
mentalhealth,Sailorwars18,2019/02/16,"Sister from another mister 21 M gay
I’m so fucking lonely. But even the thought of meeting anyone scares me. I’m not ugly. A little on the hefty Hanna side but nothing that can’t be fixed. Haven’t been with anyone sexually since I was 17. 
I’m starting to think I’m in my golden years. My first and last relationship was when I was 15. That ended horribly with me threatening to chop his snack cake off. 
I was a bit of a garnering tool in my youth. I got around. 
But now it seams as if I will never meet anyone new. ",-0.041190476190475785,2.2499199074074103,2.4963492063492083,90.905,90.66666666666666,5.307936507936508,17.8994708994709,6.868970318607317,0.2069582010582005,402,11,86,6,14,138,78,108,0.126,0.856,0.018000000000000002,-0.9019,0,2,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,1,5,0,9,3,0,0,1,12,18,8,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,7,0,11,0,13,9,1,17,0,1,0,2,5,7,1,1,10,53,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354396505250777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4709905267090984,0.0,0.0,0.19987961587710076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451289907945438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988672471339136,0.0,0.0,0.14830017945325433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909854021347199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757469176505894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957743319166108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302220399576188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22503839826629932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317164879807928,0.21685281244579308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21544292771233736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410615691835989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247940513117008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573382684775336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892373831842718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386998299012468,0.0,0.1782520186675506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459018473585308
mentalhealth,Hivhuvvojp,2019/02/16,"Need help and advice please 
I'm really struggling lately thinking about things that happened years ago ago and feel guilty. I want to apologize and make admendants but am concerned it will only make things worse for bringing up past events...I don't want to upset the person who said he has moved on from the incident, however we don't talk anymore. I feel trapped and have a pit in my stomach a lot of the time.

On top of this the way I'm viewing the guilt is that I must apologize for every thing that happened between us or otherwise it will not be okay. On top of this I've developed a fear of guilt and if I do things, then I must apologize otherwise I will not be able to function even although it may be out of context or not needed. My mind just needs to apologize or I will feel trapped.

What's happening to me? What can I do about it? Thanks in advance.
",4.308103448275862,5.238798718390807,4.916724137931039,85.63818965517244,70.4367816091954,8.558620689655173,30.017241379310345,8.841846274778883,2.2466413793103452,683,27,141,12,12,219,102,174,0.156,0.72,0.123,-0.9206,1,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,0,3,4,7,0,5,8,1,19,1,1,2,2,32,38,12,0,8,9,0,3,0,0,7,0,1,0,1,16,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,1,5,13,2,23,27,1,20,0,0,1,0,12,9,0,6,7,97,29,0,0.14249411794750896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924360289335938,0.2526248759147345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131587569223833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411602101029667,0.0,0.12005744009168948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034549841386606,0.21614792251035486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780212337207928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551080361312053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073957165169658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114340344109308,0.0,0.0,0.1902318604298436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387843862007724,0.0,0.0,0.15144869663043076,0.0,0.3169727487649962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837319772995348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360267591264226,0.0,0.12442036753741675,0.0,0.1564157513258381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128538072759616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554453699275654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896579086870346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453137442495252,0.0,0.1311894391175499,0.0,0.0,0.3786670412244277,0.09130447712045883,0.0,0.0,0.08308946608253434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140287905286528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809344532146642,0.11310519827149032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521367980158092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176154010502516
mentalhealth,wajahat111222,2019/02/16,"Is There anyone Who is Doing This   

In today’s world, [health and nutrition](http://autoinsurancenem.info) have gained most of the focus. Health is always hard to maintain which results in a harmful attack of different diseases. Most of the diseases lead to the extinction of life. The basic need is to have proper nutrition. In order to achieve proper health and nutrition, it is very important to focus on what you eat. The people are more involved in the work that they eat just to satisfy their hunger. Most of the people in today’s world are unaware of the nutritive value of their food. The instant food which is very appealing is actually destroying people health as there is nutritional content present in such food. Eating intelligently is considered art while simply eating is a necessity.",7.9156617647058845,10.169123948529414,7.3272352941176475,66.75305882352943,63.191176470588225,9.851764705882351,32.71764705882353,10.125756701596842,3.7765670588235287,651,26,93,15,10,203,77,136,0.081,0.83,0.08900000000000001,0.2944,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,3,4,4,3,2,0,11,0,15,13,0,2,0,9,16,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,2,8,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,21,16,4,15,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,3,4,69,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.120546361764279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278591885515258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637426088629753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053192737594744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906138154359748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5056035084540741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4481148143046646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106576075554348,0.0,0.0,0.5252216663421126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087252096885092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159509483820252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569181024759545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23418185738923586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203848516071328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993049148974508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yuckti,2019/02/16,"Emotional outbursts and kleptomaniac tendencies. I need help. I'm struggling with my mood from a couple of years, sometimes, it gets sorted for few months in between. I am a huge Hardline egotist. I can't stand people who act smart ass or who have an opinion different from mine, as a result of this, I have fought with a lot of my good friends and have started ignoring their calls simply because I can't stand them. 
I get frustrated if any conversation with my parents or people around me gets extended, I find ways to shun people off my vicinity. 

However, this is not the case with my boyfriend. I fight with him because I feel he doesn't pay much attention to me or even when the circumstances are odd, I simply reject them and start blaming him, followed by shouting and crying. I say bad things like blaming him for ruining my happiness. And moment after I blurt it out, I feel extremely guilty and start crying in restlessness and helplessness. 

He has been very supportive and just moves on the whole matter, but things I say, hurt him and I don't wanna ruin the thing we have. 

I am heavily burdened with my professional career right now, I have to get into a good university for PhD and all. He and my parents are the only place where I find peace. I am scared of ruining my relationship and being alone. 

Other than that, I am a kleptomaniac. I shoplift things from supermarket and give it away to my friends. I steal useless things and repetitive things. Like if I like a pen , I'll visit the store every now and then and pick up till I feel a mental satisfaction. I don't feel bad about it. I have no regrets or guilt. But I wanna overcome it. Because it's stealing and it might put me or people around me in trouble. 

My sleeping pattern is fucked up as well. I sleep a lot. I just don't feel like getting out of bed. Bunk my work and stay in bed and regret in the evening for wasting the day. And I cry to sleep, it has become a routine nowadays. I start feeling bad about a lot of things at once and it makes me even more restless. 

What do I do? Where and how do I start?  I want to get better. I wanna start with some kind of diagnosis test online. Is there anything I can do without actually visiting a therapist? (Simply because it takes efforts to go). ",3.748605442176871,5.569971746031751,4.760289115646259,82.75227040816326,73.03628117913831,7.711791383219955,28.34977324263039,8.430304187100639,2.078211337868481,1784,71,343,31,36,582,222,441,0.224,0.6559999999999999,0.119,-0.9945,5,1,0,0,1,0,51.0,1,0,3,3,17,41,4,5,21,0,31,5,4,4,1,78,60,37,0,9,13,2,6,4,2,1,0,3,2,0,24,35,0,1,9,0,2,7,9,26,1,0,2,9,62,14,57,56,9,49,0,9,0,2,28,21,2,14,21,251,86,7,0.0,0.0,0.07392450607158466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845779866715377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151498999451976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233869076335676,0.134873383542774,0.0,0.0,0.07117292389127818,0.0,0.1897530701154846,0.18471456601598546,0.08366380906981831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699783069909715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735281171270067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381982690268835,0.24963504750541415,0.04885475223064103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914630308115994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521251169736327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010345273396505,0.0,0.06382560620645085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298195292845216,0.054118328453983004,0.0,0.0,0.1384746862723392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705396031070985,0.07003290679079521,0.2374685195198419,0.07266967727952614,0.043052470066457016,0.1270769137315638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064102862913497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05077598635467381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109570787820873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888563181687085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803736990728253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932087963053853,0.0,0.0,0.05056606155538119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634172880895759,0.08036251145570718,0.0,0.0,0.060465735402258726,0.08051400116670676,0.05568755210170611,0.05617027378839178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067502442985605,0.0,0.057613964085551465,0.0,0.0,0.16823063401101415,0.0,0.0,0.2100718047221528,0.0,0.07914630308115994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615320893440693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133092845724076,0.0,0.0646930905317579,0.0,0.12048447620462335,0.07584248690806725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22742467910009256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749221663954478,0.0,0.3217123799975495,0.08074317094901003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919402495136592,0.0,0.0,0.08596419459954419,0.0,0.0,0.056957217955946535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795567319499012,0.3522908993950313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250458596778596,0.04468138767068442,0.060129616617391086,0.0,0.0,0.0681115103874212,0.0,0.0,0.08457609762435607,0.0,0.07302368816036159,0.0,0.05514946338367422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04878278196809723
mentalhealth,MineTurtleCupcake,2019/02/16,"An Empty Cry for Help Not expecting anyone to reply or care. Just a way for me to get this out of my system so maybe I can sleep.
I don't know what else to do anymore. I tried so hard to get help for my depression. I went to my college health center and went through short term therapy. I joined groups. After my depression got so bad, I gave in and sought out help and exposed myself to my parents. I got on antidepressants and for three months everything felt normal. Then the bills came in. Out of trying to get to a middle ground with my parents, I got off the meds. I was forced to stop getting treatment because it got so expensive, even with insurance. I started getting the worst depressive episodes I've had in awhile, and I have nowhere to go. I'm starting to give up. I feel doomed to my depression and there's no way out. I tried so hard to get help, and even when I did, things were only temporary. I don't know where else to turn...",2.3618355404989235,4.253994047120418,3.371869417924241,90.89923929781338,77.1151832460733,6.797782568524793,24.32429935324915,7.724431198458867,1.1105568832768706,737,25,158,11,17,236,110,191,0.209,0.723,0.068,-0.9801,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,6,0,9,2,1,0,0,24,34,15,0,2,3,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,14,0,1,4,0,2,4,4,7,0,1,13,4,24,1,34,21,2,30,1,5,0,0,9,15,0,1,8,101,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780932088416126,0.07601129909186069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076680393922977,0.06626750803592678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433321743229665,0.11083525209340292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941085010900815,0.0,0.0,0.3745208439160875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18162349930215704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360147803261758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097699918121655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054966130833295,0.0,0.1043769170587214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407732777110584,0.10428280837738486,0.06178137366489087,0.0,0.3477755040175749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476238449689035,0.0,0.0,0.11555173022669872,0.0,0.0,0.2914592525203896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948636446082835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921199548826664,0.0,0.12075030060920508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676984588904893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651095234570422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267748256930575,0.0,0.0,0.2414151765432328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878670498589124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388844302908414,0.0,0.0,0.09088492051173826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431729754119494,0.0,0.07222089583998254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214171903688149,0.118243302237169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257501401574685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015471758585432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unusuallyalice,2019/02/16,"Stress is getting to me. I have been terribly afraid of my apartment so I fled it. My problems with throwing things away has gotten pretty terrible. I have acquired cockroaches. They are going to throw away a lot of things in my apartment for me because I live in supportive (but independent) housing. I am scared of becoming depressed again.

The stress of this andmy failure to finish school or even continue, etc, and the slowness of getting things done.. I just feel like a terrible person because my only level of functionality is making appointments on time with a select few people. I have been avoiding everything.

The plus side is that I'm not experiencing an influx of psychosis due to the stress, however my mood is something else right now. I cant say I am depressed at this moment but it is creeping up on me. I just wish I didnt exist.",4.364502712477397,6.7343691392405045,5.316491862567812,77.04708860759494,72.79746835443036,7.805424954792044,30.90596745027125,8.634040054169528,2.8101359855334547,676,31,113,13,14,221,101,158,0.152,0.7909999999999999,0.057,-0.8765,1,1,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,6,15,0,6,8,0,17,0,0,2,0,17,27,6,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,8,4,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,12,0,0,6,3,20,2,23,21,3,25,0,2,0,0,3,13,0,2,9,90,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27820077460914955,0.0,0.0,0.1805031061592276,0.1635125776589579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25503515090524714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515093171408007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367903497206388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651178989063821,0.09778741347830228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306022223515698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748598947132982,0.10576888002696938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15470285248883275,0.0,0.08414176253052116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708329403911295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233107185925602,0.0,0.13073324848514425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586911298732995,0.0,0.0,0.09882632835999644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260075152587845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264110212494493,0.12927390889349874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062282403459826,0.0,0.14166644104179132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643619872416395,0.0,0.11773745118194945,0.14822658289505938,0.14983723877296296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397820334656585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5087816104228419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800845194148012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950789100516213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863307212553667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025330089501442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thequirkin,2019/02/16,dark obsessive thoughts I've been struggling with really obsessing over super dark stuff and its definitely starting to take a toll on me. Its always this fear that someone I  know who's kind of unstable is going to snap and kill my family/loved ones somehow. idk how to make it stop. ,7.543888888888887,7.4903819074074125,7.6003703703703716,72.63166666666667,63.25925925925928,11.644444444444444,34.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,3.9634888888888886,229,9,41,6,3,74,48,54,0.327,0.573,0.101,-0.9242,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,4,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,9,8,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,1,2,0,3,2,7,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,25,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430116090170119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3286409789821085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659805302716842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231135289986656,0.3041284037726429,0.16050476832238494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949477392994443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19790276658619388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709672043077086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474556784333476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671671623227872,0.0,0.0,0.24416950296478696,0.0,0.30531735427691425,0.3343309730896216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195876154035938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23185757112572544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AqsaMirza,2019/02/16,"28 Mental Health Activities, Worksheets & Books for Adults & Students [Mental health] If you are struggling with mental health or experiencing recurring suicidal thoughts. It's time to do something for yourself.

To learn more about how can you improve your mental health visit [**here.**](https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mental-health-activities-worksheets-books/)

​",11.81236263736264,17.078435730769232,7.73021978021978,52.87192307692311,66.69230769230771,7.586813186813187,36.27472527472528,8.418075326091056,4.391672527472529,326,15,31,6,7,90,38,52,0.13699999999999998,0.8079999999999999,0.055,-0.6597,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,6,4,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,6,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,17,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857427755183843,0.14419931538013758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6307132600156572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.59796668197226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135940587282984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406160843095862,0.0,0.1298077681989014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421221164737392,0.06919852367282313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419931538013758,0.0
mentalhealth,fragiledumbperson,2019/02/16,"Am i being irrational? Hi everyone, first of all, I hope you're all having a great weekend :) I'm new to Reddit, I have no one to speak to at the moment considering it's 3am, and I just really need someone to listen.. so, I haven't heard from my mom or boyfriend in a few hours, and I'm crying, genuinely worried that something has happened to them. At this moment I can't tell if my mind is exaggerating things so I would really appreciate some outside input 
Thanks guys, sorry for throwing my problems at you. And if you ever have anything you need to talk about, I'm a DM away. ",3.2071657250470835,4.515187381355936,5.223333333333333,80.9662052730697,73.4915254237288,7.956308851224105,26.670433145009408,8.515128840125781,1.8659065913370991,453,16,91,8,9,157,81,118,0.129,0.737,0.134,0.5509,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,1,1,5,4,0,0,4,0,10,0,0,0,3,17,20,8,0,7,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,2,1,3,14,3,15,17,4,13,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,5,7,64,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629814120931299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18607807601592885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175528127190179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915101185377455,0.0,0.18924890488662413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846447141014706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21835502704941614,0.0,0.196104411970957,0.17513833197153855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671212357871212,0.1950431100320225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999778914419512,0.23195823106412874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937087843067451,0.0,0.1912816058931816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342063887628374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895107504435653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537566869985903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678103522970878,0.15247150060080208,0.0,0.2217050277595907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918815203388345,0.17310776136463424,0.18234134082769335,0.0,0.0,0.1315781523432111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011332599647543,0.0,0.14069174568582896,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shwang777,2019/02/16,"I rely too much on my bf As the title states, I feel as though I rely too much on my boyfriend for emotional support. He really is my best friend. I can tell him anything, but I’m starting to feel I should learn how to cope with my mental struggles myself? Such as focusing on self improvement rather than going to him when I’m feeling extremely anxious. But, I don’t know how. How can I help myself with my anxiety? I simply don’t know how to deal with my emotions whenever I feel.. less.",3.8629437229437262,4.854468454545458,5.182279942279943,83.09818181818184,71.52525252525253,8.485425685425685,28.284271284271284,8.841846274778883,2.1486756132756133,383,14,77,7,7,128,59,99,0.081,0.746,0.173,0.8127,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,10,4,0,1,1,0,6,0,0,4,0,18,17,11,0,2,3,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,19,3,15,16,4,7,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,2,57,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084630740406949,0.2227633992189532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622668002600603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693393404713545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20328951074813675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4436141165602352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988114946231024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234496718490442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206501893816533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321692312579736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167359011598776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987165259401378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899079458746295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632202996353398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057073987262428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956885594645954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061410156551957,0.0,0.0,0.22376367908580808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172348749320999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937336750435948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FreedomX10A,2019/02/16,"If my major is Computer Science with PTSD and BPD, what kind of job should I do as a work study or any jobs outside of my college? I went to the IT department before. However, when the staff saw me, one of them yelled to others, ""How can you hire this kind of person?"" Many of staffs over there had not even wanted to look at me. It just like mental illness is a disgusting object need to be removed. There is an Autism employee. Staffs in the IT department even laugh at that Autism employee that he is useless and annoying to others.",3.8827857142857134,5.352333885714288,4.7001785714285695,84.74169642857143,72.04761904761905,8.29761904761905,26.458333333333336,8.841846274778883,1.9382619047619047,418,14,83,8,8,135,75,105,0.106,0.84,0.054000000000000006,-0.7059,5,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,1,7,7,2,0,6,0,9,1,0,1,0,11,14,7,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,9,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,3,0,1,3,3,8,4,16,9,1,9,0,1,2,0,4,4,0,2,2,61,17,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962343671028738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722368261761335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27711173257894656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906467219544609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4366784896711736,0.0,0.0,0.4582409640672838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074923049069602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18476421672972515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230691634259856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217318071888616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314454115338126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909352994834882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19211592022766816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25719554561781977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977548439752518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20396386856533336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017963402635454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SadElvenMermaid,2019/02/16,"sometimes i feel nothing, sometimes i feel everything and i have little control over it.  i think its dissociation, but i stay dissociated but more or less functional, but unable to feel like a normal person would, like a healthy person would.    then seemingly out of nowhere ill get hit with feelings that completely overwhelm me and threaten to send me spiraling into depressive self hate and hoplessness and shit.   but its also when i feel most alive, most able to experience things.  not when im depressed-when i start feeling again, but it usually leads to depression because i suddenly feel guilt for how i was when i was numb, among other shitty feeligns besides guilt.    when im numb i try to listen to music and enjoy it for instance, but it feels like i just cant.  i just cant feel it.  i still sortof feel, but nothing like what im feeling now, which is one of those times where i just got hit with everything out of nowhere.    


poetic closing statement that needs to be said. life really feels horrifying and awful",6.7054761904761895,7.613330936507938,6.785304232804236,74.46779761904762,65.03174603174602,9.8978835978836,34.26851851851852,9.928628108626363,3.4439026455026456,813,35,142,17,12,260,110,189,0.224,0.637,0.139,-0.9718,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,13,14,2,3,2,1,9,5,1,3,0,49,32,21,0,4,12,0,12,4,0,2,4,2,0,3,14,12,0,1,15,0,0,2,3,9,0,1,4,14,17,5,19,23,4,23,0,3,0,0,6,8,1,5,16,95,31,1,0.10417223168103004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330649603892902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350242554105863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922260295791272,0.0,0.1168380157749277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944678100360958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724656954127009,0.10190043166810488,0.0,0.0,0.6320713243592702,0.1488413262550479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054425691503033766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833160499897894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284851194127843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.337571658780657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357992797520498,0.2035731618267248,0.10440794317160217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724238982992901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206666918836603,0.19991213167714672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705898001856121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18191834918717453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673539909731004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990916475296812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483448728700727,0.10867435676285614,0.0,0.10693129882538327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060580016192112,0.0,0.07373364175536701,0.11103373841551284,0.08319207878522797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920740188541029,0.06674935977084673,0.0,0.0,0.0607436660241046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072610726654148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473099585461745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480019290777264,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imseriouslyacat,2019/02/16,"Input on alternatives to inpatient psych stay respite services (USA) TLDR I am not doing well and I am struggling with reaching out. I am avoiding inpatient but I know I need more than outpatient services can offer, so I’m considering a respite home stay. 

There is a respite home for people with mental illnesses in my town, but I’m really scared to go to it. From my understanding, it’s a half way between hospital and home. You check yourself in and out. Stays range from 1-5 days 

I’ve only ever experienced psychiatric hospitals. So, if you have stayed at something like a respite house, could you please leave a recap of what your stay was like? Did it help you in the long run, and did your stay do more damage than good? What was staff like? 

Obviously I know there will be differences between the one in my area and else where... 
My main concern is my safety, and that it’s probably co-Ed. I know safety is the first priority at places like these but I don’t know if they have a lot of staff on hand or how they’d handle a conflict between two guests.  Sanitation is a big factor for me, too.

Thank you in advance. 

~I will be contacting the place with my concerns. But please, share any advice or experiences",2.470765957446808,5.021388587234043,3.6419574468085116,85.69400000000002,80.14893617021276,6.99404255319149,24.71914893617021,8.109356740369918,1.6459565957446807,958,36,187,19,25,310,138,235,0.08800000000000001,0.732,0.181,0.9771,0,1,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,7,2,2,9,12,0,3,12,0,23,2,1,1,2,33,33,17,0,4,9,0,1,4,1,2,1,1,3,0,8,11,0,2,5,0,1,3,2,4,1,4,4,3,25,8,28,23,4,31,0,1,0,0,14,17,0,5,8,127,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020715049889509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103248636168494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339823609766335,0.0,0.0,0.06736436369095053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913248153184828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725814037718559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448486849490766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217632051749656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884874979240319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936376951946967,0.08761128695242472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001349623911718,0.0,0.3143284523311484,0.0,0.0,0.12052620476108655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296213431266864,0.0,0.0,0.11060199128202217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412432303835068,0.0,0.0,0.09243874310078372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880328612429013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052653375459572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745151862070634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078091751880873,0.07944218020007192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241543968798342,0.0,0.21826496306369653,0.2293188456784351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261937125056234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691608088804687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457694774873608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041400120724182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6680061306246848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091982837982356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616745912298767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203664524376023,0.10874058018280937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291093859792167,0.0,0.0,0.09391693433664544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wolfgang_armata,2019/02/16,Do i have a problem I genuinely believe humanity is shit and that almost all humans and filthy creatures,9.388947368421057,9.256033157894738,9.830526315789477,58.42368421052634,59.526315789473685,11.810526315789476,45.31578947368421,11.20814326018867,5.686536842105262,86,5,12,2,1,29,17,19,0.31,0.69,0.0,-0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,5,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4862247924488767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5470672605847291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4646216422747786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4984271191801815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,manabsarmah,2019/02/16,"Why do we see imaginary people? My friend (Male - 17 years) has been apparently seeing an imaginary girl for last three years. He had been hiding it up until recently when his condition started getting worse. It all started back in 2017 when he was preparing for his high school final exams. He started seeing a girl every now and then. According to him she is a young girl who follows him everywhere. Interestingly, he has never seen her face. So after a couple of months, things got better and her appearances reduced. Still he saw her once or twice every month. fast forward to 3 years later, he seems to have accepted her existence in his life. He is appearing in his College final exam this month. And things are getting worse. Earlier he didn't seem to fear her. According to him, she just sits besides him and watches him, follows him. He never felt any kind of threat due to her. That's why he didn't feel the need to tell his family or his friends about this condition. Earlier this month he was studying at his table, he looked at the door and screamed. When his parents asked repeatedly, he finally told them everything. Apparently he saw her at the door with some type of white dress and got scared. They didn't take it really seriously at first, but her appearance increased drastically. He started seeing her 2-3 times every hour. His family decided to take him to a relative for a few days. But things didn't get better. He kept seeing her everywhere. He mentions that he feels cold when she comes near him. Also I should mention here that he has severe migraine. More unusual things have started happening lately. Earlier this week, his pen disappeared from house and reappeared at school on his desk. Yesterday, he was studying and went out for a while only to come back and see ""22/01"" written on his copy on three different pages. It was written in black inked pen. HE DOESN'T OWN A BLACK PEN! He screamed in shock. His parents immediately took him to a psychiatrist. The doc says it's quite normal to have these delusions and that there's nothing to worry about. he's under medication now. The boy is totally clueless right now, and so is his family. What could be behind all this? Is he under immense stress due to his exams and thus having these delusions? Or can it be the migraine behind this? My main fear is that he's taking her as a friend who would't harm him. This cannot be good.  ",3.8148248062015533,6.354800604444447,4.486950904392764,81.53290697674419,75.17777777777778,7.830490956072353,26.68733850129199,8.70740988407696,2.2565896640826875,1912,73,342,41,43,610,226,450,0.08800000000000001,0.851,0.061,-0.9198,5,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,1,0,2,4,18,19,1,4,16,0,34,5,1,1,5,45,78,28,0,4,6,2,3,0,3,1,4,3,2,5,27,17,0,1,7,0,0,12,8,10,0,4,23,21,45,9,48,50,10,79,0,0,14,0,85,21,0,9,47,219,72,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121157157218681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0520520026374724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155756198356297,0.0,0.0,0.11771399634522098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539248520189273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187038311419502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06111351900611053,0.08469359795033164,0.0,0.04936403350234396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997135546692312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934728487543071,0.0,0.0687920950832327,0.0,0.21647435810143886,0.17226476670593446,0.0774050863365736,0.0,0.07349347820186919,0.2515480115791455,0.0,0.06510760914353828,0.0,0.0,0.17741126567629625,0.0,0.11997199267318527,0.0,0.0,0.06420080688573251,0.12243718316225202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768690138998272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087209620205574,0.0,0.0,0.07537963623907568,0.08832057906806742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970796686221343,0.0,0.06239292631349608,0.0863440666713374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540647277425511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427701239845224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710922400129201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24438421663053034,0.0,0.0,0.0567558149519577,0.118069673374662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499608701869846,0.073445267404992,0.0,0.0,0.08151601281195522,0.0,0.0582145548481208,0.0,0.0,0.16998433671784693,0.0,0.0,0.05306541908781954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141311799680656,0.0,0.0,0.04903553567220662,0.0,0.07557717845917139,0.0,0.0,0.06536747690999323,0.0,0.06087022703338098,0.0766330990065445,0.15493161522700727,0.36597013498341935,0.13936411401501345,0.0,0.08647203193311788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708883643046002,0.0,0.061127500578362484,0.0,0.0876799801194598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17265288761085346,0.0,0.0669021329678576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20340761094329415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044632957058402416,0.0,0.0,0.07314031039935236,0.08504231462729604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139834021850465,0.0,0.0,0.07095631578807235,0.1381366698679317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773333787198845,0.1560081257096669,0.054374095090552736,0.0,0.0,0.14787393897990272
mentalhealth,generallynotapancake,2019/02/16,"I never get angry, because I always turn that anger inward at myself I was never allowed to be angry when I was growing up. I would be told that I was being ridiculous or immature or unfair. When I got angry at my parents, I was told I was always wrong and that I must obey and respect them. My mum showed me that anger was to be repressed and you must always be remorseful for showing anger. Anger is wrong and harmful and invalid.

I don’t get angry anymore, I get depressed instead because I feel like everything is my fault and I am a failure.",3.2062895005096834,4.951952055045872,4.614067278287461,83.55323139653416,74.3211009174312,5.945361875637107,28.624872579001018,6.42735559955562,1.484381447502548,430,18,78,3,9,143,58,109,0.306,0.556,0.138,-0.9719,3,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,0,3,13,5,1,1,0,18,0,0,2,4,17,26,10,0,3,2,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,11,0,0,9,1,21,2,6,9,0,8,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,2,5,63,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710250318023696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18713352984083584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300519582317636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252167935528367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958580569216786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540924662330247,0.1348028767367606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957541417129477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509156562838201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218625139639236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29106455709521656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095221163308563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606099931290692,0.0,0.0,0.205244651818682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404265001025484,0.4126140615325864,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Flautist1302,2019/02/16,"Self harm. Depression. Suicidal First post here. 

25F. Since my best friend died by suicide in 2017, I’ve struggled with what my psychologist has said is adjustment disorder. I see her regular and we’re working on things. But I just feel like I’m getting worse. 

I’ve been suicidal for most of the time since my friend died. 

About 5 weeks ago I began self harming. It finally feels like I’m in control of something. I can’t fix my physical health (RA, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue). I can’t fix or save other people. I couldn’t save my best friend. I can’t control my emotions. But I can control a razor blade. 

And the scars, they prove that my pain is real. My pain is valid. And yet it remains hidden so I don’t have to tell anyone how much I’m hurting. 

And when I harm, I feel like maybe I can manage to keep living... 

But when the cuts aren’t deep and they fade I have to cut to prove my pain isn’t fading. And then I cut deeper so the scars stay longer. 

I know I can’t keep doing this forever. But it’s the thing that actually feels good and like it actually helps... I don’t want to stop because I don’t think I can cope... ",1.034913793103449,3.26310625,2.6774758620689667,92.3951103448276,83.48275862068967,5.953379310344827,21.34896551724138,7.24861992348623,0.620021172413793,878,28,192,13,25,288,128,232,0.244,0.61,0.146,-0.9794,1,0,1,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,2,7,9,25,3,1,6,0,21,6,0,4,2,36,37,18,5,2,6,0,4,4,3,0,6,1,0,2,11,8,0,6,9,0,0,0,10,13,0,1,3,6,31,12,14,33,4,19,0,3,1,0,11,4,0,2,17,109,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.19541969615847307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887568526406578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001136978036404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06103670197663168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101549486649266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33690400426284417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623953809214308,0.0,0.20783275825535447,0.0,0.11475461540505386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262978969838455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20250958250378107,0.2145929921974878,0.0,0.1096846155196386,0.0,0.08516827103677987,0.0,0.0,0.2320744220047368,0.0,0.05231240671263639,0.0,0.0,0.08398206897091534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643068873070406,0.0,0.0,0.06711325075319795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071883968894547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799557490643206,0.0,0.0,0.055027371890254737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956686583699788,0.0,0.0884142826792763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005913790703681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360512156135715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196276732424553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941569587646687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589432160390164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396684266081115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524403685544254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797885328039987,0.0,0.20890932180056124,0.0,0.0,0.16565275386345438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708292425017217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672243057294027,0.0,0.08371094631229174,0.0,0.10467484408063707,0.0,0.3285692020727857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751571542096298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304032176615174,0.06415756161675934,0.0,0.0,0.05838506180656217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059057704045319175,0.0,0.08031611895638173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289390183618058,0.0,0.10203832170436583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JustASimpleQuestoin,2019/02/16,"Should I actually go and get help? And is there even a problem Just a hypothetical here, if at the age of 11 you somehow stumbled acrost about two snuff films/red rooms and didn't know what to do, so then about 2 or 3 years later you remembered it, a long with every detail, and you realize that you simply repressed it, so you don't know what to do, you start having flashbacks, nightmares, and even a bit of paranoia sticking around the fear of having someone find out that you disregarded the red flags in the beginning, and resulting in you seeing what you saw years ago, but you just keep telling yourself ""it happened too long ago, would they even believe me? They would just scold me and tell me I'm being dramatic, plus it's not worth the trouble"" but the thought of the snuff films you saw still haunts you, what would you do?",18.00888888888889,7.4235943950617305,14.991419753086422,59.71638888888892,55.66666666666666,18.175308641975306,54.69753086419753,11.20814326018867,6.0089456790123466,660,23,133,8,4,203,97,162,0.108,0.863,0.029,-0.8674,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,13,2,0,16,4,0,2,11,0,13,0,0,1,0,35,26,15,0,6,8,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,10,11,0,3,6,1,1,1,3,4,0,1,4,4,19,0,15,17,1,19,0,0,4,0,18,6,0,3,12,95,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.16135655715048816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931434332800502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719546992052576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18629145252957435,0.0,0.0,0.18051804248679687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32763392867447866,0.0,0.13931347834158042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606334687288006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112578911086702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863879128802044,0.0,0.09397152197433736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621737982641025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108298016381282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696959272535648,0.0,0.0,0.1817427301708774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926569336445677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821645134371784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873079345952299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176156965162492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009948447273346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703471732550776,0.0,0.13204774906756628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28904424302117504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126846145324414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152173166104122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523770870570234,0.0,0.0,0.2129583859234124
mentalhealth,handcart01,2019/02/16,"Not doing too well Ive been fairly well off for awhile, but Im struggling again and today has been the worst day in awhile. Im barely passing my college classes and Im having serious doubts about whether Ill be able to make it through college. I dont really have anyone to talk to as my gf is drunk and my friends are either out or asleep. The issue with my grades is I have pretty much 0 ability to motivate myself to study harder and it feels like Im just wasting a ton of time and money, but if I fail I have nowhere to go. Another thing affecting me right now (Im not sure why its hitting me so hard) is that one of my favorite artists is likely facing life in prison and it feels like he had so much potential and he was so close to being a success and now hes just going to rot away in a prison cell. Sorry for rambling Im kind of a mess.",1.8559852670349883,3.285008226519338,3.588928176795584,90.82379742173114,77.23204419889504,6.3736279926335175,23.668876611418053,7.03164865440522,0.7399499815837941,663,21,147,7,15,222,115,181,0.22,0.6409999999999999,0.139,-0.9398,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,12,15,0,2,6,0,20,5,2,3,1,28,26,17,0,1,10,0,3,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,6,11,1,0,3,2,1,3,3,6,2,1,4,3,14,9,23,19,5,17,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,3,9,99,20,7,0.11729062004114225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229894418706932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201232867551875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019839849976368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564274671563889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374637331532622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861132336322512,0.1675848847863321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061844209182364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333179246655614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506935733122544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.76016398089531,0.12242093426318655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221401316059527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284583363078668,0.17190681712212294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782923996540534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244420272390065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794791596449834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932672732089905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513937459632987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016554865007553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129724641156074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261762259088953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054502131130507,0.0,0.0,0.09427375749934766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792267620253432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683931037721707,0.0,0.11117779336677536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21091670690835915,0.0,0.105836541198215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SovaDea,2019/02/16,"General Anxiety Except I’m not so sure it’s so “general”. Since my last year of high school, seven years ago, I’ve had mornings that I’ve woken up as a nervous wreck especially if there’s exams or something significant due that day, running to the bathroom to puke. It stopped for a while. However, now along with this liver problem I’ve developed, and bad reflux since I haven’t got a thyroid, this can make it much worse. 

A lot of the times I have to be sick it’s bile, this is to do with the liver problem. My point is, my psychologist has noted that it’s generalised and I just want to know the extent that GA could be. I have trembling hands most times too thanks to the thyroid medicine. This is just an ongoing thing. Does anyone have advice to sort of keep this at bay? My family or course want to know what else is possible too. Currently working on my diet too, of course. 

Yes, I do use rescue remedy. It’s incredibly handy. Have kept it in reach for maybe 5-6 years now. Very helpful. ",2.8842477091339056,4.718291577889449,4.2737865799586165,85.27111735146322,75.43216080402009,7.697428318060893,25.273721548921074,8.4952907291091,1.6878014188590007,780,27,159,15,17,258,123,199,0.154,0.7609999999999999,0.085,-0.9384,2,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,0,2,10,1,17,7,3,2,1,30,29,9,0,6,7,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,18,5,1,3,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,4,1,10,2,23,22,4,21,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,6,14,99,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056211448418095,0.1456511588515785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256969227016775,0.0,0.0,0.1148895757106336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719222954715987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118839712945635,0.0,0.0,0.10596654449516772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378904271996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726016410196953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489711889615454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314139495591433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013372439056113,0.17360284345900753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604653603782086,0.0,0.0,0.18060127744324614,0.13393481717957395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969073342068586,0.0,0.0,0.10967839497900536,0.0,0.16507177188216424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078696949999827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532633455671094,0.1852351647678428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144455153540043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16629078636656902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718383409205643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649408930891998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737076041115015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486050451790145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127483995684582,0.0,0.0,0.1091604561378421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916213037921844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191133563023287,0.0,0.13557319785061409,0.19382893325746348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961984860636468,0.0,0.16744622371504708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31743132039332905
mentalhealth,bendonahue17,2019/02/16,"Anyone else write songs/poem as a sort of therapy? I enjoy it. Thought you guys might appreciate this one. Being a novice guitarist, I’d also like to put my own music over them someday. [Anthem of the Lonely ](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rJXITFGnFiIxMvJR0IJihOsNLrhn6IoaQyvWRrmerps)",10.470487804878047,15.296453121951226,8.905560975609756,45.81931707317074,66.5609756097561,6.206829268292682,22.83414634146341,7.554174236665415,1.5767717073170733,242,6,28,3,5,74,38,41,0.059,0.7509999999999999,0.19,0.6815,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,4,2,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27224606959033404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23804035000072746,0.34881630220232474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284390096332874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33708457314720564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631954234248494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611481650931007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23068784029422476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34223160991889834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3893175537243171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702676837797656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AwesomiusMaximus,2019/02/16,"Does anyone here know much about sadism? From the research I’ve done it seems like not much is conclusively known about it. It’s not known if people are born with it, and there’s no known cure for it. But if anyone has heard about possible cures, that’s what I’d be most interested in.",4.2539655172413795,5.171214224137934,4.306379310344827,90.01405172413793,70.55172413793103,7.8689655172413815,21.396551724137925,8.07648339933343,0.5693999999999999,227,4,51,3,4,70,43,58,0.038,0.867,0.095,0.5095,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,14,8,4,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,7,5,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,2,32,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648259953242065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908744526455509,0.3401477114550698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267142172196704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238769353804053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4886859662659088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304355708803085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747168500696567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025930043078607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blue-powerpuff,2019/02/17,"zoloft who on here takes Zoloft? i just started taking 50mg of it this past monday night and my anxiety has been awful. panic attacks, barely sleeping and eating. i’m trying so hard to just keep my head up and stay positive bc i know my doctor told me it takes about 2-3 weeks for it to start really working. but to whoever takes Zoloft, did you experience the same thing when you first started it??",2.9932368896925867,5.02251378481013,4.196238698010852,85.07873417721521,75.70886075949366,7.0459312839059685,22.678119349005428,7.957251820313856,1.1893132007233271,315,9,61,5,7,103,61,79,0.118,0.853,0.029,-0.6277,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,2,6,2,1,1,1,1,3,7,2,0,0,9,14,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,8,0,8,11,1,12,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,9,38,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377054034034558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047847538424204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184245516030263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18419282357034145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608207853810395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531144638965475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16125154864921734,0.0,0.18473983994374832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999912112802314,0.0,0.0,0.0989275283394418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892503927117986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21120025972265932,0.0,0.0,0.1718377249415884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531754667534275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801377067418332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822311452248556,0.19186426522449326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5413735747014521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958912219229832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17200507841310225,0.0,0.122213417259738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439132492130818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310477548165141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peiju,2019/02/17,"i can’t stop thinking about my friends’ insults towards my body/face i really wish i could stop thinking about it. but i can’t. i already have low self-esteem to begin with, and they just make it even worse. even if i think i’m attractive for a second, im reminded of everything my friends said about me. even if i get told i’m very pretty by strangers, i assume they’re lying/trying to be nice, because my friends must know how truly attractive i am.

sometimes i wish they would end up getting hurt because they make me go through so much emotional pain and self-doubt. i’ve never insulted their looks to their face, yet they find it okay to insult me. they usually say it’s because i’m an “easy target”. what does that mean?

 they always told me that i was too skinny. that my legs are too long. that my hands are too skinny and long. that my eyes were too big and weird. that im less attractive compared to people in our school. that my hair was too dry/dead. that my eyebrows look ugly.


am i being too sensitive?
is this what “roasting” or “teasing” people is like? should it be this cruel?

it’s hurting me so badly, and i don’t know how to get over it. how do i get over this, so i can stop obsessively thinking about it... i just want to stop being self concious about these traits that they literally made think about all the time. please :(",1.6906507936507964,3.9751954777777816,2.767751322751323,92.39416666666668,81.25925925925925,5.634920634920635,21.865079365079364,6.868970318607317,0.5180634920634928,1049,33,220,12,28,334,144,270,0.189,0.63,0.181,-0.4008,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,9,0,24,21,5,1,3,1,23,8,7,6,3,41,51,15,0,9,6,0,2,1,3,3,1,2,0,1,23,6,2,4,10,0,0,1,4,12,0,1,7,7,40,9,23,36,3,20,0,3,3,0,22,7,0,4,13,144,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996697088174796,0.0,0.08291732412696036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320413082105706,0.1822383350029022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956293583822759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872049558535204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209356928786304,0.08826089853080561,0.0,0.0,0.1974549446346483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955957922726131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107888930331724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309695363242061,0.0,0.20825340798951644,0.0,0.05663376117286046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133561649321873,0.0,0.2152796055205758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953078293455693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04868427432297027,0.0,0.0,0.17637537987449406,0.167362897653453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429185502756797,0.13303516611980953,0.0,0.0,0.10854877206724296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732546941246567,0.0,0.07685672499246404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603531810683267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817042784561945,0.0,0.0,0.10938648980443448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138053669202582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383875846015033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479058846777247,0.07924619702280608,0.0,0.1008517784779079,0.0,0.0,0.3118720846524083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855704148085567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33324962377139355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192605658630518,0.0,0.0,0.05810709572055529,0.0,0.0,0.1904409341216262,0.0,0.06765625050105405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975111307232234,0.08222222298613463,0.058776535569443976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291866605071857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155252633087036,0.0707889630528194,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,piscesonpluto,2019/02/17,"Everything in my life is perfect. Except me. I should be in my prime. I turn 18 in two days, and my best friend is throwing a huge party to celebrate this weekend. I got a major role in the school musical. I’m a leader in a mentoring program at school. My other best friend asked me to prom, and I got my dream dress.  I’m about to graduate high school soon. I got into and will be attending my dream college, in a big city miles away from my small town. I have a part time job I love. I have a very active social life. My friends and family are amazing. I have everything going for me.

And yet, I feel terrible. I struggle to get out of bed. I have no motivation to do anything. I don’t even have the energy to clean my room. My grades are awful. I have a 5 page paper due in two days (also my birthday) that I haven’t started on. I’m failing math. I started smoking. I’ve been bingeing and purging almost every day for months. 

I’ve been diagnosed with GAD and ADHD, but I haven’t seen a therapist or Psychiatrist in about a year because I became addicted to the medication I was prescribed (Adderall) and nearly killed myself. 

I feel like I’m living a double life. I put on this facade of happiness for everyone else, but in reality I feel so hopeless and lost. I know I need help, but I literally don’t have time to go see someone for it. I’m fucking everything up. I don’t know how to get myself out of this. ",1.532881773399012,3.543999465517242,3.9113546798029577,85.46732758620693,80.20689655172413,7.039408866995075,24.495073891625616,8.07648339933343,1.5432660098522168,1095,41,226,21,28,380,154,290,0.086,0.75,0.16399999999999998,0.9337,1,0,0,0,0,1,39.0,0,0,0,6,8,17,2,1,14,1,24,8,0,2,1,29,51,16,1,2,5,0,3,1,3,2,6,0,3,0,6,13,0,0,6,3,0,5,6,7,0,2,8,5,42,10,39,39,6,43,0,3,2,2,8,25,1,2,14,151,48,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763590561972335,0.12968473050342602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805451152463742,0.0,0.0,0.08629417772878653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879928424737868,0.0,0.100879634569847,0.0,0.10138334029712527,0.0,0.0,0.06577985939161812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264860735582371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087756565163872,0.0,0.0,0.10952458857908133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014348509855244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127237248979508,0.0,0.09091734328048147,0.103110944264796,0.29094289496132203,0.0,0.10172628176847606,0.0,0.16368493993565622,0.07708966570409677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501089074849958,0.0997594258178022,0.11275519962765393,0.0,0.12265347507844325,0.0,0.2589122229598859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487032428099657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232861630613609,0.11401097641692845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708227419472303,0.0,0.11938447573241248,0.0,0.11860708945306582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228656335959558,0.0527185136897286,0.0,0.09528494978447924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779458715848133,0.0,0.09739139644418247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870619573374536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613132485560784,0.0,0.0,0.08001259005138438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685410452953628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084775821196968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276266887978962,0.08598889354998179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999885788913184,0.0914302985960568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527560103657461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280911816139765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252897795826424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584432093585196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737317466268295,0.21082133472654352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903559616270759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948936638414742
mentalhealth,WITCH_KING_XXYBORG,2019/02/17,"If I were headed for a nervous breakdown, what would that look like? What signs should I be looking out for? Hey all, I'm mostly posting here because I feel like I'm spiraling out of control, I've been posting on /r/schizophrenia for the past few months but I don't actually have a schizophrenia diagnosis so it feels weird to co-opt that space for my own personal problems. I'm a 28 year old guy, and when I was 19-20 I had a major psychotic break that lasted around five months, but that was my first and last. Since then I've been living a pretty normal unmedicated life, and about two years ago I started TRT for Klinefelters. I've also been living a pretty boring life so as not to trigger another episode, no idea if that's how that works but when I had my first one I was using a lot of drugs, I no longer do that. 

Starting around 5-6 months ago after almost a decade without any issues I started feeling really worried and out of place. Paranoid is too strong of a word, just kind of a general uneasiness and like I'm not a real person. I chalked it up to the new stressful job I'd just started and largely ignored it. Since then it's just been worse and worse. I keep having fears that are really out of character for me. I can't shake the feeling my house is haunted even though I don't believe in ghosts at all. I constantly feel nauseous, I go through bouts where I don't want to eat at all followed by bouts of being insatiably hungry. Several times per day I get the feeling I'm being watched or followed. It's not constant, but when I get it it's overpowering and lasts 20-30 seconds. It mostly happens at work and I'm considering quitting my job because it's gotten worse and worse over the course of the past few months. 

The feeling I have is most comparable to the feeling you get when you're in the woods by yourself for long periods of time and it's starting  to get dark and you're not sure what you're seeing is actually what's there, and the bird/insect sounds start to sound like human voices. Just a general unease/""I shouldn't be here/I don't know which direction is home"" feeling. I've had panic attacks and it doesn't feel like that. There's no pounding in my chest, there's no adrenaline, there's no fight or flight, just a feeling somewhere between the beginning of a horror movie and the entirety of NIN's *Pretty Hate Machine*. 

Sometimes it comes with an urge (that I've never acted on and probably won't) to mutilate myself in some way, like getting a facial tattoo or doing something that would make me unrecognizable. I don't want to die but I wish I could be in a different time in a different place with a different face. 

I don't think what I've just written conveys the absolute urgency of what I'm experiencing and I'm trying to figure out how to get that across. It's overwhelming anxiety but in a deadly calm way. ",4.624635521546517,5.540621752181504,5.564432809773123,81.33696737817158,69.6980802792321,8.459820110081889,30.399113975030204,8.69343788997812,2.3229674587192912,2276,90,446,37,39,749,266,573,0.163,0.7440000000000001,0.093,-0.9925,8,0,2,0,1,1,55.0,0,1,0,7,27,23,3,6,33,0,41,8,4,6,5,98,92,41,3,12,22,0,11,6,0,5,3,3,1,4,32,27,1,3,15,0,0,6,21,13,0,6,13,19,35,10,62,68,12,77,0,1,4,0,7,26,0,11,46,284,67,5,0.0,0.0,0.12752213954700387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583749203065245,0.0,0.06542719169731889,0.0,0.0,0.052251272334302164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444325034548238,0.06851324205080668,0.04998386692058684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163304521822794,0.0,0.07433211501102067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796596349289271,0.0,0.0,0.07361425226659453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628343729749466,0.0,0.1412156766255325,0.07328282032654945,0.05216757294215231,0.0,0.0,0.042138005801873296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781117390333455,0.20479485983386267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757720577746903,0.06685772201758082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04315554354756671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735241148656171,0.3634088748733613,0.09335584909389266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111539968348107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20482039917118752,0.0,0.03713344455992421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469550821325057,0.05777872756987101,0.0,0.0,0.06450836203830032,0.0670562762713427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553996516016028,0.0,0.0,0.07539199715149529,0.0,0.07375935109068288,0.0,0.06819654576591923,0.12967700065953386,0.058075969280906685,0.0,0.06804012014002038,0.03590839784851282,0.15977909245619762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230120189364767,0.1915269017003042,0.0,0.11539040040909472,0.05782262430279534,0.1097359729019896,0.0,0.0,0.05554855981566167,0.0,0.0,0.04361403748686204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20861065856327507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039317321436622,0.06310444819027748,0.0,0.0,0.06401797676767346,0.0,0.0,0.06856189255408253,0.0,0.0442751411822531,0.0,0.0,0.07666079481748103,0.0,0.0,0.12474621566231453,0.0,0.11410232884532605,0.13652990655590844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515267705074465,0.19941860441962386,0.07044608542479293,0.06252023699312148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949566708999043,0.0,0.07436965617702017,0.08371518857166707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206642224144639,0.0,0.0,0.07381404485766901,0.0,0.10809756646735527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050300863301671765,0.06462156777207488,0.0,0.2774820772986925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484517064041166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06158087789824961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04186635066126187,0.06419486428312808,0.0,0.11429842762296273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0443606353363153,0.0,0.06382633953184436,0.0,0.0,0.05643159086319963,0.0,0.0,0.0770768241343037,0.10372551361744148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513619063584351,0.06298409990595767,0.0,0.09513458985772738,0.06635454216060555,0.2663425510389532,0.09282936469478442,0.0,0.0,0.08415186059684697
mentalhealth,Gamma_Burst,2019/02/17,"Why does this make me so upset? So my nana, my mom's mom, has been in the hospital for the past couple weeks fighting an infection. She's not really close with us, and she was never around for my mom while she was growing up. She also lives a few hours away, we basically never see or talk to her, although my mom either calls her or she calls my mom maybe once or twice a year to check up and whatever. Anyway, I decided to drive out there and see her, just so it doesn't all fall onto my mom to support her and I expected it to be awkward and boring. But when I got there, this poor old withered woman went from miserable to full of life when I walked through the door. Her memory is going a little bit and shes somewhat paranoid of things (maybe onset of dementia?) Anyway things were going okay and I was dealing with her paranoid ramblings pretty well. We began looking through this book full of all her grandchildren that my mom made for her, and she kept pausing to ask why I came out that way. I had actually been helping my father in law move, so I was somewhat out that way anyway, but I didn't want to say that so I just said I was thinking of her and thought she might be bored and lonely (which was actually true). And she paused for a moment and she just seemed so overtaken by that. We got talking about travelling and skiing and sailing, and she went on about how she'll take me to England and teach me sailing and stuff (which is obviously impossible now). She told me how proud of me she is and how much she loves me. For some reason things began to feel a bit much, and I said my goodbyes and made my exit for a long drive home. I got in my car, and cried like an absolute baby. And I am not exaggerating. I honestly don't think I've ever cried that hard, or as loudly, except for maybe when I was 3.",5.443010296010296,5.06994110540541,6.174942084942084,82.17274774774778,67.67567567567568,9.20978120978121,28.97039897039897,8.704169506293173,1.9377696267696272,1419,42,300,20,21,467,184,370,0.08900000000000001,0.846,0.065,-0.726,0,2,0,0,2,0,39.0,4,0,0,1,27,15,1,3,11,1,24,3,0,7,7,74,54,44,0,2,13,8,2,1,0,2,2,4,2,1,17,33,0,1,7,3,2,13,7,7,1,1,27,9,61,8,45,23,13,49,0,2,3,1,50,17,0,9,18,226,78,2,0.0,0.0,0.150816387344474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061795921520804376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879016694122221,0.07224067886153729,0.0,0.0726013863902688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872620176794972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578106129265174,0.08838077220152532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550211663951689,0.16976353318647958,0.0,0.07966601278064105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762292333338954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989867969556017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03907201300104688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087833092795935,0.0,0.18540902563660253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922224926343079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051795076036414416,0.0,0.07751203679024454,0.0,0.07609924015434469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458085108437912,0.037752131376728636,0.07744876293159568,0.06823428224209425,0.06838498267910588,0.06489062626144597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974272482648151,0.14623689264180514,0.05158093798175721,0.0,0.23289610035657096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197541180689326,0.0,0.6335159232253629,0.0,0.08212994196304127,0.11361043684084575,0.0,0.11919681332218665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108597441384181,0.08229419701266635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737666951319864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786153515373403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0495036483511418,0.07945045407557949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701037650773122,0.061451318371598763,0.0,0.0,0.12315461036493265,0.07034726957085159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846014449968781,0.0,0.08768952245637021,0.0,0.0,0.058100366859329934,0.12421969080952328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401206552623709,0.09902800847692957,0.0,0.06134685654634312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383853682167728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295100467758953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04557815688010924,0.1226728730775919,0.06198447313472255,0.0,0.06947852937467915,0.1432673858626264,0.13945537732579094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049761867424025816
mentalhealth,offtothesky,2019/02/17,"Worried my health is declining I've been suffering with major depression and anxiety for sometime. Around age 16/17 (I honestly can't remember the exact age I was but I digress) I had a psychotic episode which caused me to line up knives  and started hearing voices. I would hear the sound of my father who abused me call me dirty amongst other things I would rather not have out on the internet. I told my doctor dealing with my mental health who put it down to my depression being severe. I haven't had an episode since but I'm beginning to worry that another one might be imminent and was wondering if there are some way to prevent this or if I'm just being overly dramatic. 
I lost my mum to cancer last year and it's caused me to become really down. Alongside having family problems and a lack of support from them, it hasn't helped and I became really suicidal and wanted to harm myself. After that downward spiral I have now been hearing the sound of my mother, clear as day whispered in to my ear. I'm conflicted about this, as is my family as they are spiritualists (as am I to some extent)  and believe it is my deceased mother letting me know she is still around,which a big part of me does but the other half of me acknowledges that I have poor mental health at the moment and it could be down to that. I am currently on medication and although I'm starting to feel a lot less sadder, it isn't exactly stopping the highs and lows I experience which my Dr told me was 'unipolar.' I am not sure what to think about this all, could a potential episode be preventing me from recovering?  Am what I experiencing a sign of an episode coming? Or am I just getting worried over nothing?
Thank you for reading my long post. ",6.689759622937943,6.619724665671643,7.277957580518464,74.28700706991361,65.02985074626865,10.634721131186176,34.04948939512961,10.307518312809881,3.465656716417911,1373,55,253,30,19,454,180,335,0.208,0.759,0.033,-0.9965,1,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,1,2,1,9,11,0,0,15,0,37,8,1,2,5,57,59,23,1,10,12,4,1,0,0,3,7,8,0,0,22,16,0,4,6,1,1,2,6,7,0,2,10,10,44,4,43,38,9,35,0,5,0,0,18,16,0,9,15,197,66,2,0.0,0.11796755519478927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440197412616163,0.07616650774019493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17726688294523674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099610780093512,0.0,0.11217500486627828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166640340131727,0.0,0.0,0.20456016845032887,0.0,0.08576593062268165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589881733079397,0.0,0.0,0.06421081326428675,0.10264654375941773,0.17150937576380487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190840138421946,0.08712949370509045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739310634447867,0.18772094577587295,0.0,0.050342761640696544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05201829936983365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317496963518255,0.3366490077881855,0.0,0.06673593108686518,0.10519527475960937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471800065033143,0.08115828987795473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181136375567178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811137738731675,0.0,0.0,0.10868632434141054,0.08464610827086047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003006770722234,0.20067503237690565,0.10562211414297476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553474495279277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746742681821928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781856290590876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535519091026484,0.0,0.0,0.09526970217052384,0.0,0.10008974061067008,0.0,0.0,0.0995913621862038,0.0,0.12756703214751788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278707739624735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247945317874447,0.0,0.0823607159697458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847175589106033,0.0,0.1409444159380116,0.0,0.0795122733389167,0.08324031218301807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890731403366402,0.1129845223815131,0.09383828627218904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166553978267024,0.0,0.0,0.06614617564726744,0.06379685922981965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19027613750087036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05872567373931141,0.07902960117462032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797336488188863,0.0,0.30333750030399903,0.0,0.14145541271898984,0.0,0.0,0.06411622125679965
mentalhealth,BazookaCamel76,2019/02/17,"I'm Slow, Inattentive, And Forgetful And It's Ruining My Life I've always been the slow one in my group of friends. Whether it's taking a long time to finish my turn when we play a CCG (such as Magic The Gathering) because I can't figure out what I want to do, asking them to go over the rules multiple times during a new tabletop game, or just making plans. They like to poke fun at me for it and I did a pretty good job of not letting it effect me outside of our weekly game night.

When I was single and living on my own I never caught on just how much time slipped away from me because I never thought about it. I would just put my head down and work until it was time to go home. When I got home I would do nothing in particular (usually video games, TV, etc.) until it was time for bed.

 I was a listless bachelor, so what? I wasn't slow, I just didn't have anything to move fast for. I didn't have a roommate or people coming over to clean up for, nobody to worry about letting down but myself. Fast forward from my bachelor self to today's married self.

- I take hours to do the dishes or fold the laundry.
- I can't seem to fully complete any task without either missing a step or outright messing it up.
- I can have my wife break down step by step instructions for me only to not remember part or all of them by the end of the conversation.
- I have to take way too long at work to accomplish tasks, forget to follow-up on tasks that are on hold

All of this is assuming I even manage to look at the time between when I get home and when I need to go to bed so I can get up for work. There are times when I get home, feed our pets, walk the dog, and it's somehow past time for bed and I've accomplished NOTHING. My wife can't tell if I'm lazy, stupid, or just don't love her enough to pick up the pace or chip in around the house.

I was diagnosed with ADD in the 90's and stopped taking my prescribed Ritalin shortly after starting highschool mostly because it never seemed to help. I'm in my 30's now and (perhaps the icing on the stress cake) my mother was recently diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's.

I'm afraid to seek professional help directly because I feel like I'll either find out that this is a real problem that I can't afford to fix or, somehow even worse, that I'm imagining all this and I'm just as lazy and worthless as I feel.

 I'm not sure what I'm expecting Reddit to do for me. If anyone has any suggestions for how to make things better that aren't ""try harder"" or ""just be faster and pay attention"" then I welcome them.",4.103173579450683,4.460926385633272,5.1777521405537685,85.65262398532195,70.58790170132325,8.113888580006671,27.468086289336142,8.027739517013583,1.546038318692316,1994,63,427,25,34,659,248,529,0.097,0.835,0.068,-0.9496,2,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,3,0,4,8,28,18,1,2,22,0,37,8,1,6,7,85,73,42,0,8,26,3,2,2,1,2,4,0,9,2,22,21,2,2,12,6,1,12,16,8,0,1,14,3,52,10,81,54,12,84,0,3,1,1,27,28,0,17,46,285,74,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780188991358169,0.0,0.0,0.11082493069005517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05697607408883086,0.0,0.06705505605157595,0.07253875709114607,0.0761772981378876,0.0,0.07655766174174336,0.0,0.0,0.19868953656346366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206669305770395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019194905183455,0.08543527345239539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654107347472881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072171356093168,0.08419559146652161,0.0908771031981622,0.1076398976126452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240233702490515,0.0582127648730238,0.0,0.0,0.07447564053730622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629549624284646,0.0,0.12771735090920222,0.0,0.1389290868053653,0.06834559299198581,0.06517084670280167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362692389885974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923510164855987,0.0,0.3269436350210798,0.0,0.08024612443655628,0.0940225309090952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086110106759495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666474789173684,0.057555131419011626,0.07961872486657749,0.0,0.0719525805058329,0.14422298615674084,0.06842671831125724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354322281824803,0.0,0.10878348744201137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660545794368332,0.059900711449492224,0.06041995446473127,0.1885383276145708,0.07869853770486147,0.0,0.07646797468290703,0.0,0.1563737465849413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521621641018409,0.06197287019991483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824010908979907,0.0777864717811763,0.05649130767749366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289934655449847,0.0,0.07796995884480469,0.0,0.0819147407665105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274755359712576,0.0,0.0,0.08045641992703859,0.0,0.09230640573506534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836142217202505,0.170012856970191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057675368242580134,0.0,0.0,0.06812495019163266,0.0933405750718336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767984695240635,0.0,0.2450657462201837,0.0,0.07122131592917813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05413488732994436,0.0,0.0,0.0646898375624367,0.3801155860949485,0.0,0.07723807254590255,0.0,0.0,0.0553228374979198,0.08863207482654856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897440066327843,0.0,0.04806185240709419,0.06467884973626965,0.06536219986185167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854844948980096,0.0,0.17796573747970135,0.0827517803874845,0.08303998329937654,0.11576894287265782,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sellerofrice,2019/02/17,"How do I deal with temporary but sudden anxiety I applied for a job that could completely change my life and I've been waiting on a response for 4 days now. I've been trying to keep calm and just wait it out but I've been getting sudden tightness in the chest and my heart suddenly starts beating like crazy; this has been happening like twice an hour for the past four days. I know the response should come in soon, but I am honestly REALLY worn out and stressed from these mini anxiety attacks. I try to breath slowly in and out but it only helps after the fact. If anyone else has been in a anxious situation are there any techniques I can do to help myself?? I'm really, just so so tired from stressing for the past weeks.",5.442708333333336,5.910227298611113,5.809722222222224,81.90750000000001,67.68055555555556,9.177777777777775,29.88888888888889,9.150863307647796,2.356588888888889,577,20,114,10,9,185,92,144,0.205,0.674,0.121,-0.9352,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,1,2,9,0,14,5,3,1,1,26,24,13,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,10,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,6,1,9,4,19,16,0,22,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,15,76,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083687926620662,0.0,0.2438166157471968,0.18002899455940433,0.0,0.11142670374230328,0.1632809343704351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129254337316972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16857945972257687,0.13727266466095164,0.16708365847180948,0.0,0.0,0.12723426447486308,0.0,0.0,0.2055452409328692,0.16429093088352567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312302309768662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832578917267615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409196075270342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888398021870584,0.21362839585398025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693536764431076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581380622836141,0.1416445661237627,0.0,0.0,0.08757889874985215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125591518902621,0.15570837776952434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211988147351102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30425017114400554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041774198523998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17912488378322164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279429608250315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3650877239962126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315838926889985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21638701938127128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278272432143492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,foid4you,2019/02/17,"My mental state is unstable My disability court date is coming up soon and I feel like my mental state is deteriorating and unstable. I just moved back to my state and found out that my old psychiatrist and therapist will no longer take my insurance, it will be a couple of months before I see a psychiatrist, and the only thing keeping me there is the fact that I have to take care of my son.

I don't know what to do or where to go to make it so I can get medication. I have bipolar mixed mania, PTSD, anxiety, and ADHD. Everything seems to set me off since I'm not in meds and I try to distract myself from it, only to have my mother (who is letting me stay in her house while I wait for my court date) tell me I'm not doing enough with my life. 

I just feel like everything is crashing down on me and I feel anxious about everything. Sorry for the little rent, I just wanted to vent a little.",4.878837555886734,4.879828617486343,6.244629905613513,79.9228614008942,68.8360655737705,9.496075509190264,27.018877297565822,9.339509955726095,1.983212021857924,699,19,148,13,11,238,104,183,0.081,0.873,0.046,-0.4939,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,6,0,17,3,0,1,1,28,36,11,0,1,6,2,3,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,8,11,0,2,6,0,1,3,4,1,0,0,1,4,29,3,23,31,1,25,0,0,1,0,5,10,0,2,9,105,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627767477100729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036138949168119,0.1530125850290569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414767915257532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525242942486055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809365928204045,0.0,0.0,0.11667256891038305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986563942218006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994932581333494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651836112649069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20545288615255175,0.19352170477831407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850678979826504,0.0,0.0,0.07076363042719455,0.0,0.07697565353725289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628359612181647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203883922751372,0.0,0.0,0.07443619692766258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850013947732154,0.0956677386415341,0.13234169002334892,0.2714999074966995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904095776391476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044717773077573,0.1364450612557367,0.2729903514554298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081096971210903,0.1439549890898147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212515293550745,0.0,0.0,0.2060217465576932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158326185316246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793092121885486,0.12330266138660252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204025001213473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161789197551734,0.0,0.1443647331471604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20367328838763396,0.0,0.11838357536558555,0.0,0.0,0.1572603248092931,0.08998263273462524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919572352311717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988807637734055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jimmerdude,2019/02/17,"Emotionally Exhausted Hi,I had severe trauma 5 years ago and just now healing from it. The only problem is I feel sooo emotionally exhausted and not able to think clearly. I’m currently on disability and want to go back to work but afraid I won’t be able to do my job and will get fired. I worked as a software engineer and terrified I’ll never be as sharp as I used to be :(. My thinking is just very slowed and delayed, severe brain fog - takes me forever to solve problems, overall thinking just wears me out for some reason the last few months. Anyone feel this way? Why should I do?",4.67941304347826,5.762612713043481,5.612771739130436,80.42524456521744,69.69565217391305,8.880434782608695,30.02717391304348,9.188382445141503,2.5138043478260874,462,18,90,9,8,152,81,115,0.233,0.726,0.041,-0.9759,3,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,3,0,11,5,2,2,2,27,22,10,0,4,5,0,4,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,6,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,4,9,0,13,15,2,14,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,10,55,11,3,0.3283979097335911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555246629139354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481172705872553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625886089595573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330033748608826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3694034473000521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604785041444506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857871768559621,0.0,0.09331805001719974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16294212639092054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384406355900838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106203922526982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664035653775166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488070426448104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142324485085796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882387290038114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709961632502988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345717924776373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156361806463045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181517715718645,0.0,0.13548133407078675,0.09684879782866204,0.13033348754102078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816401725361886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390775894862824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573874346001436
mentalhealth,blarkbark,2019/02/17,"What is the condition called when given a scenario, you always think of the worst possible outcome? So even if it's a completely happy scenario, you always think of the what ifs and reach the worst outcome you can think of and believe that's the only outcome that'll happen. What's the name of this?

​

Any way to fix or improve it?",6.302272727272726,6.727229378787879,6.2207575757575775,79.85113636363639,65.81818181818181,8.41818181818182,33.16666666666667,8.07648339933343,2.497284848484849,273,11,49,3,4,86,41,66,0.122,0.767,0.111,-0.4112,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,8,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,5,6,2,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,3,1,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3788435334642217,0.24665702624070465,0.2766178130217381,0.15480876857585096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25648187378436643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324545443645968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23868509357512754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035966993426314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20130879355167705,0.2423360334553959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731369225502394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25663944938626176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4376038498860056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069676233008294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766178130217381,0.0
mentalhealth,queenofdairy,2019/02/17,"can anyone relate? What is a family? this is a pretty deep story that would take a novel to explain. 

in a nutshell, I do not know my father, my mother was psychologically/emotionally neglectful and abusive my entire life and kicked me out at 16 (i am now 23) and she is now homeless, a drug addict and is likely schizophrenic.

I receive messages from people I don't know weekly telling me of her condition. She is scamming people of money and they are turning to me for advice.   
It is taking a severe toll on my mental health at this point,  I am struggling with anxiety and slipping into a depression again. It takes a toll having literally no family and trying to put yourself through school, work two jobs and have a stable normal life at 23.   


I know most people wont have much to say on this topic, or know how to help.   
but maybe someone out there has experienced something slightly similar and can give some insight to better coping.

please help.",5.841908752327748,6.950483391061454,6.7738687150838,73.06553305400375,67.04469273743017,8.648230912476723,30.00046554934823,8.841846274778883,2.589122532588456,753,27,125,12,12,251,119,179,0.076,0.8240000000000001,0.1,0.7438,1,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,2,5,5,0,1,9,0,20,6,0,1,0,28,30,12,0,2,3,2,0,1,0,2,6,1,0,0,7,13,0,1,6,1,1,2,4,3,0,1,1,2,17,2,21,27,3,17,0,2,0,0,14,11,0,3,5,96,24,3,0.0,0.16483312572375913,0.0,0.15166011558454542,0.0,0.13594536092850434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642556358439967,0.0,0.0,0.09727515664004044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303934533622266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982288880785175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133373525167893,0.0,0.0,0.15649001683035207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622978004839097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334555078122546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787686557291624,0.0,0.0,0.1864969075771652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805402352175025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058243960606283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965275605157917,0.06796645834882876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976361534426274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019911147087585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022683851473275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630696616284652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893425472538561,0.0,0.0,0.15271075530255715,0.13151231024111906,0.0,0.0,0.14153391665549395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985290082934396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063291841473252,0.0,0.14079573530974696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716473751225635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178749768615084,0.10710051173446533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543726092146222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31380025605366263,0.0,0.121596034369078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944525885548265,0.1513213941108383,0.13589893248951604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159277524082074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128020265084044,0.0,0.0,0.09882606192234372,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bewilder_house,2019/02/17,"Do you have to be diagnosed with sleep paralysis? I've had sleep paralysis for awhile now, at first it was really bad and I never went to sleep because I would hallucinate; but now it's just kind of weird, I could feel something pushing against my backside and it hurts even though there is no one there. I don't even see anyone I just feel someone pushing. I was sleeping in class and my teacher asks me why and I say it my be because of my sleep paralysis and explain what it is. He says 'well did you get diagnosed?' and I say 'no I don't think you have to' and he said that I can't make that excuse if I never got diagnosed.. ",2.8593076923076945,4.130996315384621,4.093846153846155,88.86615384615385,74.30769230769229,7.661538461538463,26.84615384615385,8.238735603445708,1.5686,491,18,108,8,10,161,74,130,0.13,0.8490000000000001,0.021,-0.9132,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,1,12,5,0,0,0,0,16,8,5,1,2,21,27,10,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,8,8,0,0,4,0,0,3,7,3,1,2,7,7,19,2,10,16,0,10,0,1,1,0,12,2,0,1,5,78,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899905793250497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899218888871466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627577924136336,0.15518076541764347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162491839645917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.387567934431919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681381112454477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871596514739472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826664171538003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649998322004662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179964228792067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625881588068126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254539682308572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496222366828016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963366063177755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625008517508659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154058860064012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107504224550385,0.3036610535104078,0.0,0.0,0.10142787201064428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6368733579743806,0.0,0.10784626061626773,0.09798847904947093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155764643730315,0.12505465514906708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444247785804927,0.11799238399207945,0.11485288387241745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904180133352529,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SandmanM4,2019/02/17,"What is normal? I am currently on medication for anxiety, and was treated extensively in the past for OCD. My anxiety is mild and was made worse due to me feeling like I was failing people at work I truely care about, my rampant alcoholism (got that in check pretty nicely at only drinking one to two times a week when with friends), and an underlying anxiety condition. It still acts up from time to time but recently has really died down. I started Buspirone in late November and I credit it for making life easier.

My OCD has gotten worse, though. I am having tic type behavior that is VERY noticeable. The Buspirone helps with the anxiety component to the OCD though.

Over the past few weeks I have been having mood swings. I am certainly not suicidal, though I do think depressing thoughts frequently and sometimes wish my environment would drastically accelerate things. I will be feeling down for days, only to have a VERY sudden and often short lived “up” period. I am easily frustrated, though I am nice to everyone around me and internalize my frustration. I cool off very quickly and am not a violent person, more of the “Hey dipshit what the fuck is wrong with you” type on the rare occasion I lash out. 

I keep thinking this is depression, but I am not suicidal nor have I had any long lasting lack of energy (though I do feel fatigued often). Sometimes I wonder if it is all in my head, and I am just imagining things.

Is this normal, or should I talk to my doctor?",6.740867325032202,7.47088180291971,7.405371404036067,70.67704808930877,64.91240875912408,11.702533276084154,34.00085873765565,11.442366930564873,4.2589946758265365,1170,49,203,36,17,388,160,274,0.173,0.66,0.16699999999999998,-0.6137,1,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,2,13,19,4,0,12,1,33,8,1,2,2,43,49,20,3,7,8,0,3,1,1,3,5,0,0,1,11,14,2,1,8,1,2,1,4,9,0,2,9,4,31,9,35,36,4,40,0,4,0,1,6,18,1,5,22,156,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215728182257927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500488681971152,0.0,0.2925061933805148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509590153392498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746098879644907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164802981997504,0.0,0.1646640896444312,0.0,0.09920795233110996,0.0,0.0,0.0978410309425962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364239754382483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134091597939224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450004405677743,0.06828994466265807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385306143518773,0.08837197056769977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764525362205446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981035348143704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407236508239485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496531855083955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791909836029244,0.10783036189050008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751846864222229,0.04670073932332315,0.0,0.084408252241525,0.08459467408230954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045013822620264,0.06380746863535837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962974741600292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18731698691885187,0.0,0.10883053314077988,0.0,0.0,0.06477466533942622,0.1454019195195269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18250409046973734,0.06627048695646062,0.083466025946493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725000695510083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612377869246666,0.0,0.09438418663943536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890830978455703,0.0,0.06765951959635266,0.0,0.07633877767092302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091212056613182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683210441060451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701229595072142,0.12250119505675623,0.469586402145257,0.07588825985178928,0.16721894499723605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337812760432217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366167713697175,0.0,0.0,0.1533540288399496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992447394536854,0.0,0.10366392947874237,0.06959109621888587,0.0,0.1948299784994531,0.06790482052925005,0.1045133164484277,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rrjohnson4545,2019/02/17,"I (F 23) don’t know how to feel comfortable just being single? I always have to have a guy. always. Whether it’s a boyfriend, snap chatting, texting, I always have to have some guy on the radar to feel happy. Or I’ll be swiping left and right on dating apps. 

It’s an attention thing but it’s so toxic. I can’t imagine just focusing on me and not day dreaming about a boy.


I don’t know why I’m like this but it’s so unbecoming. It is needy, weird, and I don’t know how to go about “finding” myself with no men in sight, past, present, nor future. Has anyone else struggled with this? I have a very great and stable family. Great relationships with my parents. This behavior is so weird! 

When relationships go awry I tend to get depressed. Even if was only a few weeks. When relationships start, I get obsessed fast.

Any advice? ",0.6461818181818195,3.132191042424246,2.4246969696969707,91.03704545454546,90.0909090909091,5.181818181818182,20.227272727272727,6.7829847944221076,0.4691818181818177,642,21,132,9,22,211,101,165,0.115,0.748,0.13699999999999998,0.7856,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,12,10,0,2,7,0,15,0,0,2,0,26,27,17,0,1,8,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,9,7,0,0,8,2,0,2,7,5,0,0,1,3,12,5,15,24,3,18,0,1,1,0,9,6,0,3,11,83,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007977533850827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578355764927916,0.0,0.0,0.09748278652653916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002335202546656,0.1468788207202999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244876846551237,0.0,0.12346698136644975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975037207313938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468119759134318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513744313384266,0.0,0.14496394230919352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101912940924532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978871843961458,0.0,0.16293800112841395,0.0,0.0,0.3160873433574965,0.0,0.2838776988017578,0.0,0.15259853840543838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363439200900971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574998808412016,0.0,0.0,0.07003347632483835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902399015309884,0.0,0.0,0.15917299978379734,0.0,0.13684361408723206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4617121465604008,0.0,0.12241995455536955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014637333896478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986034607271964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523524413440966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827860611980298,0.0,0.0,0.11498657091620698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293509069575012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ravenkills273,2019/02/17,"Almost everything I do that doesn’t involve my hobbies is boring and idk how to change that. I’m 21 years old and the only hobbies of mine I have are listening to music, playing video games, watching movies & tv, and using the internet for different things like YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, etc. My dream job is to become a vocalist in a Metal band. I’ve tried to develop different hobbies in the past, such as playing sports, reading, exercising, drawing, fishing, gardening, etc., and I can’t seem to find any enjoyment in them. I can’t seem to make any friends, not only because I’m shy and introverted af (the fact that I have ASD & Depression probably plays into it as well), but also because the only times I seem to enjoy talking to people is when I talk to them about my hobbies and interests. I never know what else I wanna talk about in those situations because idk how to continue a conversation about stuff I have no interest in. I don’t eat a lot of healthy foods because I don’t like the way they taste, and the only things I really eat are junk food, fast food (fried chicken, hamburgers, French fries, etc.), and anything that isn’t vegetables and/or certain types of meat. I have no motivation to do anything, whether it’d be getting a job, exercising, going on a diet, learning how to drive (which I haven’t learned yet), etc., and the only things that seem to keep me happy are the hobbies I mentioned above, but even then it feels like it’s not enough to make me happy. I don’t know what to do. Even if I do try to get a job and do those other things (all of which I’ve done and/or tried to do), I’ll still feel unhappy and unsatisfied because I don’t really find enjoyment in anything that doesn’t involve my hobbies. What should I do?",10.8494797039695,6.905779819241985,10.456268221574344,67.09018389773496,59.845481049562686,13.819152276295135,43.87732675487778,11.51311941424646,4.877586409508858,1390,60,263,28,13,458,167,343,0.061,0.785,0.154,0.9865,5,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,3,1,14,18,0,0,16,0,31,10,0,7,4,46,49,23,0,3,6,0,2,3,1,1,2,1,1,0,23,12,8,1,13,13,0,2,15,2,1,0,1,5,30,16,36,45,7,22,0,1,1,0,14,8,0,7,14,174,53,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957401514014667,0.0,0.0,0.06354916706584046,0.0,0.17220339395514042,0.0,0.10807961066052163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618196841852253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422095779847127,0.08776427901475006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406480281179228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684442030792937,0.0,0.0,0.1660507285964999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132160946427974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262771627658612,0.06638389223000904,0.0,0.0,0.0821099249814425,0.3545036976953341,0.10497347621221699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141918155291951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036109247003582,0.0567707367266008,0.0,0.0,0.14526150718698028,0.0,0.2882728765189875,0.0,0.06139546206841698,0.0,0.08303571813616879,0.0,0.045162526511714735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691866965018933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365741065629464,0.07063329387904843,0.0,0.0,0.08734519455686986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646965260370427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755940191096325,0.0,0.0,0.1060887373970753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061289305322336424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338650849290911,0.0,0.0,0.3021884895851724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585956997597831,0.0550919229226744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856781060402177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948779928863292,0.0,0.1018162863183848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28937252016405063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932344461598182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346188550298053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096989515054772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916159923627923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21117550029008475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0463374354210453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185719314725527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863336403776632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307664578664783,0.0,0.0,0.07144974234640909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117368830518992
mentalhealth,ComfortableStrategy0,2019/02/17,"5-hour energy drinks solved my 4+ year long ""depression"". What was it really? I've been suffering through what was diagnosed as ""depression"" for the majority of my 20's (4+ years). I'm starting to think that's not what it is. People have always commented that I'm odd, poor at communicating clearly, and a terrible project partner. Mostly I think I just can't sleep, or think clearly, or stay mentally present.

I've tried MAOIs, SSRIs, even Lithium.

I think I had a couple <1 hour ""hypomanic"" episodes on the MAOI's over one year. The 'euphoric' mood was there, very mild like I'd had a couple beers, and I mulled over doing things I wouldn't normally consider. Can't say the MAOI really did anything for me.

For the most part the reuptake inhibitors didn't do anything either, and the lack of energy and brainfog were still bad like with the MAOI's. I came off as less irritable on the SSRI's but didn't feel that way.

The lithium worked for mood, irritability, but not energy. Being in a good mood, no irritability, I'm told I come off as hypomanic yet I feel no euphoria (Still felt ""fried"" more than not like normal).

The focus, energy, and communication problems weren't solved until I started pounding a 5-hour energy when my alarm clock goes off, and again in the early afternoon. I still fluctuate, but it's been more effective than any prescription I've tried.

Any idea what's actually going on?

​",5.441821407451215,6.868387217228468,6.330975753991718,74.70191602602013,68.21348314606742,10.265247388133256,30.157500492805053,10.426177893888326,3.28710936329588,1125,43,206,31,19,372,147,267,0.123,0.728,0.15,0.8577,0,0,2,0,0,0,56.0,0,0,0,2,9,14,0,1,17,0,20,4,1,1,2,37,36,16,0,5,10,0,3,3,1,1,1,1,0,1,11,9,2,0,9,2,1,3,11,7,0,1,15,4,15,4,26,19,9,34,0,3,0,0,4,11,0,4,21,123,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.11294392780419348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630357340161637,0.12540244683278698,0.14063475555165775,0.1574120848407332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19048559031741347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663668243290546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13237383192329458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969833475632653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25612455141979396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937053133574187,0.11747198238466665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337951458742065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644408433079214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704156804857825,0.0,0.11112695996085288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577676780511074,0.097075831363548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419368639157849,0.0,0.0,0.13065450209764734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963172540111496,0.0,0.0,0.10242479192872607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663702830421085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267980061157475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842729689091635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533334739676427,0.0,0.08023839456992822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074596392965057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828989299803444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203977615219897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582192835259758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384039046976345,0.12336167469980575,0.27728637188541444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689141264664384,0.29664182883429085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059294707685316,0.0,0.15715747595110566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549625449158304,0.0,0.0918677098978806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425889250871788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063475555165775,0.22359509575987532
mentalhealth,jordi_c,2019/02/17,"Suicidal father left this morning and never came back. The title says it all. I’m at a loss for words. 
Back in December my father left and didn’t come back. He was gone for almost a week and came home ready to get help for his depression and suicidal thoughts. Since then he’s been going to therapy and seeing a psychiatrist multiple times a week. The last few weeks he has been in a much better mood. Yesterday he helped my mom spray paint the favors for my wedding in March. My mom left the house this morning to run an errand and they planned on going to the movies and lunch today. She came home and he left all of his belongings and only took his drivers license. 

My brother and I drove around for hours. My mom called the police to make a report. Other than that it’s literally just a waiting game. 

I feel like this time is different. I want to stay positive but I don’t know what to do. I suffer from depression and anxiety myself and I feel so lost. ",2.8303695719125344,4.838900691099473,3.989670465044657,86.46991992608564,76.12041884816753,7.426054819833692,23.277178934400983,8.313332769828598,1.3813945796119491,756,23,152,14,17,246,115,191,0.13,0.8079999999999999,0.063,-0.9523,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,4,6,9,0,0,14,0,8,1,0,1,3,31,28,15,2,1,2,6,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,8,17,1,1,4,1,0,10,3,5,0,0,12,4,18,3,21,16,4,36,0,5,1,0,22,10,0,1,16,93,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408555061751196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951737153093978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253277463743624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397810555401692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193059455367697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613910774342476,0.35665495986050433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953911072414263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905474674208985,0.0,0.0,0.10860003410639682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511507485498807,0.0742580775991136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430678864137885,0.0,0.11814827820289743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393438135511888,0.0,0.20852991498418166,0.0,0.10236454063701976,0.11993816839900907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712526038326505,0.08472876176828266,0.0,0.0,0.4517446585774181,0.0,0.0,0.05078210477015672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346786257376655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938385996259823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36521614784480505,0.0,0.0,0.07641127661194104,0.0,0.08016852084445959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905458904731842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266095645488289,0.0,0.0,0.08283042703033969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598408730592694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079116493829552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227397148940872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886976433219305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252044011418475,0.12122192078679145,0.0,0.09852737277176626,0.0,0.1154863290122825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613092467500549,0.0,0.250134381349719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Orlando1701,2019/02/17,"I feel guilty for being unwell. Title says it all. I am a college educated straight white male living in the American middle class which makes me better off than 99% of the humans who have ever lived in all of history. So why do I have these problems? I served in the military before college and did deploy as part of combat operations but was never in direct combat itself. I had a stable two parent childhood, which although emotionally austere left nothing lacking in terms of my worldly needs. I have an amazing wife and healthy son. So why do I have these problems? I deleted Facebook about nine months ago as part of an attempt to self-correct and it did help. Some. But recently I had something happen and I responded out of abject and total fear which ended up making things worse and that was when I realized that it was time to get help. But I feel guilty. ",4.6654362101313325,6.556407579268296,5.375121951219517,78.99501876172609,70.76829268292683,7.241275797373358,29.07879924953096,7.882392219407189,2.098621575984991,689,27,117,9,13,223,107,164,0.136,0.742,0.122,-0.3736,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,1,7,0,15,0,0,2,5,25,22,15,0,4,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,13,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,7,4,14,2,21,14,8,22,0,0,1,0,10,12,0,1,10,94,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438175337364361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805579058948747,0.0,0.0,0.1434896548813604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825001461606027,0.14369804605626207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675696309335393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18256708919991854,0.16406862032164815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476462485311705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346985515414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21749446757508206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17627615014478076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865248981617196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21659527317767466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294998273001499,0.0,0.0,0.12030021146037605,0.12513084946496247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556753472232476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18015027772412764,0.3513840378342528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104869118053395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601941679088388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902116179558526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692535423577269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490163552480517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778621816038314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460447668265733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848662773992464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927959119186453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533821713507518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,byrbigmuscles,2019/02/17,"worried about friends health Hi. For about ten years, I’ve been part of a group of my best friends and we are all close. But one of us always talks about how he wants us to make fun of him when he is dead or how we would be happier if he was gone. Our group constantly slag each other in no like bullying manner but he thinks it’s always targeted at him. One moment he is happy and the next, he is borderline suicidal. We have talked about getting him a councilor or a therapist because when we try and help he just ignores us except for the odd occasion I can calm him down. I don’t know what to do to help him and I’ve gotten anxious about him. What do I do?",3.0046043165467644,3.897975251798563,4.177762589928059,89.86750719424464,73.46043165467627,7.8621582733812945,25.41079136690648,8.238735603445708,1.3032526618705038,516,16,117,8,10,169,87,139,0.14,0.687,0.173,0.6428,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,8,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,5,0,14,1,0,3,1,26,21,13,2,3,7,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,4,10,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,4,0,18,7,18,15,4,11,0,0,0,0,30,4,0,3,7,81,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636054289921041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894857687236548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656006747896463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623257291893662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117571874657747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24476116962652605,0.0,0.08275823166351833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862131306587955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16837335820674035,0.0,0.0,0.21234633627297084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705330679477682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738695835399674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573421298048652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846176315537292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146738746173476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715333587350869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326550144536818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546342070993272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391631850259196,0.0,0.1014972676828432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754420216226417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.571612404303682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934292925910713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086438443461165,0.0,0.11252386138795634,0.0,0.0,0.10200535497007716
mentalhealth,TigerWoods_2487,2019/02/17,"Recently prescribed Gabapentin, have questions Hello everyone. I finally decided to go to a doctor for medication for my anxiety after 25 years. We talked for a bit and he prescribed me Gabapentin. He said it’s safe and good for long term use and if it doesn’t work, we can try something else. Also, he’s starting me out at 200 mg two times per day. Can anyone tell me the pros and cons and long term risks compared to other anxiety medications?",4.312605042016806,6.319621235294122,5.1104201680672245,80.05117647058826,71.94117647058823,8.621848739495798,30.966386554621852,9.23628265651192,2.9172857142857143,355,16,65,8,7,115,62,85,0.064,0.868,0.068,0.3182,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,3,0,4,3,0,1,0,13,8,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,8,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,1,7,2,10,7,3,14,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,2,11,35,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611988118235878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986903482368979,0.0,0.0,0.13650456447228768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131331156174668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590278026074528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981916462250146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630838899372828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18654408432761294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21385741655661603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109498141116318,0.1637439145144635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34553268590469605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3933335668387095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869460503903948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927593070736484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18570191970706354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502923173197395,0.0,0.0,0.13817994919161278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691297170124058,0.1706336364435734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113836187730577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254370292784154,0.0,0.1907046488794273,0.0,0.0,0.16861011927379452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421247770761982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571730687818505
mentalhealth,IBiteMyThumbAtYou,2019/02/17,"Making lifestyle changes for my mental health (and blogging about it for accountability) Hello, unlike many of you, my mental health is in check most of the time, but lately it’s been getting worse. I’ve had a few panic attacks and moments where I’ve lashed out in pent up frustration that I find hard to contain and thought that it was about damn time I got medicated or something. But when I calmed down I was fearful of side effects. I took a deeper look at myself and decided I wasn’t doing enough in my every day life to equip myself to handle stress and anxiety. So I’m going to start doing that.

I’ve decided to vlog about it. And while I am sort of shamelessly self promoting, maybe just one person can see this as a “sign” to start taking control of their own lives too, and that would be amazing.

Using vlogging as an accountability tool, I aim to tackle my sleeping problems, my emotional eating, my lack of desire to care for my appearance, my inactivity, and my controllable stressors (my fear aggressive dog, homework management) through slow lifestyle changes and dedicatedly experimenting to find what works best for me.

If you feel like joining me would help, I can absolutely be your buddy in this :) and you can start vlogging too. Or just messaging me.

Here’s the link if you’re interested in watching the video:

https://youtu.be/SXnZmzL3JoU",8.809671215880892,8.491143379032263,8.312903225806455,69.44127791563275,60.774193548387096,11.017866004962778,37.22208436724566,10.389873798559362,3.8672825062034732,1090,45,185,21,13,346,152,248,0.175,0.682,0.14300000000000002,-0.8266,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,4,1,6,11,15,4,4,7,0,16,6,1,6,0,42,33,21,0,7,8,0,2,1,0,2,4,0,1,2,11,11,1,3,8,2,3,3,1,9,0,1,8,5,29,6,34,21,6,25,0,0,3,0,10,11,1,7,12,129,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345887626567027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898476383225358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820872628638086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455933855469578,0.0,0.2584770003285061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27404562548871003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787888355371993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250092870840315,0.0,0.1374235721867898,0.0,0.126233134418444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293256972672032,0.0,0.0,0.11950462933164548,0.0,0.2749479612966272,0.06177226803017855,0.08727748858451333,0.0,0.0,0.22332032780086106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063828209387501,0.0,0.06943140285560243,0.0,0.09770963192615294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943934050794638,0.0,0.0,0.2597196616426505,0.0,0.0,0.08188724034973943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378118436828698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629150902486626,0.059685554927802476,0.0,0.10787737942738104,0.0,0.10259110934368246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154869128887095,0.12386009229111355,0.12273508349846217,0.0,0.0,0.12307231676986807,0.24623503921823114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278481030632301,0.0,0.0,0.1433388846976944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667317366744213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689914072722407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735279828570637,0.0,0.12744880968806646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225713173971277,0.0,0.0,0.09405159002276214,0.0,0.0,0.2594153346458933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994406541371865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918558108124624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969884624395494,0.1424753393802947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573414620899305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055147069020882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894041627696307,0.0,0.1245005491540922,0.17357056673135005,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Master_Kenobi_,2019/02/17,"The Itches I've had these fantasies of killing people much more recently right in the carotid artery. I want to know what it's like to take a life, and at the same time I need to know how well I'd handle it. However, I feel as if I'm not ready enough and I need to build up to it by committing smaller  crime to gain confidence, in case I don't do it right and am caught. I've been contemplating slashing people's tires just to get me ready. I've made sure that there are no cameras and I know to beware of dashboard cams in the cars. I know I will not get caught. 

These itches feel like they are in my head and I need to really scratch it. I guess the feeling is similar to the need to pee when there are no toilets around and you are there just dancing around anxiously. 

I could go on about why I want to kill people but just keeping this short to vent and hopefully helps. 


",3.3160025220680964,4.2030366994535555,3.9568306010928964,91.76659520807064,72.71584699453553,7.597982345523329,25.005884825556954,7.882392219407189,1.0245085329970571,688,20,158,9,13,218,105,183,0.095,0.78,0.126,0.5559,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,1,12,7,2,0,7,0,12,6,4,2,2,38,36,12,2,9,7,0,4,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,10,9,0,1,7,2,0,5,5,2,1,0,5,4,16,5,27,29,4,20,0,0,0,0,3,12,0,3,5,98,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581268294751943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24920684959711115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175505862962376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462694799810885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123198787058052,0.09999495664169804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625762344295756,0.0,0.0795484635353059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419329152106376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14365011948127202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381927895818774,0.0,0.0,0.13902229376872033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441221597862938,0.3097132505510406,0.0,0.3076965157114967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886530700448333,0.13676503698572998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244347604678067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289442628715514,0.4151454231849369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911137724259607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966868956498046,0.0,0.13820398738488185,0.0,0.0,0.2390680927346519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192054435068093,0.0,0.10524040011286506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161792699871387,0.16087550484718105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511646055809254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585029365387745,0.0,0.12630160961969927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway26472819175,2019/02/17,"Goodbye This is going to be my last post before I go. It’s a psa

Get better before it’s too late ",-0.3213043478260857,0.7998162173913066,3.2602173913043515,92.17119565217396,82.47826086956522,4.6000000000000005,15.847826086956525,3.1291,-0.9474173913043478,75,1,18,0,2,28,20,23,0.0,0.861,0.139,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,10,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5980592148207293,0.0,0.0,0.3107993875766425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18360064712884655,0.0,0.3994362560905093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864513973346887,0.3964131835280517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365599216104346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MainCockroach,2019/02/17,"Ssri withdrawal Anhedonia Ever since coming off ssris 7 months ago, I've been in this depressive, anhedonic state that won't subside regardless of lifestyle changes/therapy. Despite exercising near daily, quitting recreational drugs, sleeping well, I still wake up every morning wishing I didn't. Is it possible the ssri withdrawal left some neruochemical changes like decreased dopamine causing the anhedonia I never had before coming off these pills?",15.412769953051644,14.170209901408455,13.417464788732396,41.01896713615025,48.57746478873239,16.22723004694836,57.46948356807511,14.554592549557764,8.894461032863848,377,24,40,12,3,119,60,71,0.044,0.83,0.127,0.4019,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,5,5,2,1,2,8,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,1,0,3,0,3,2,6,4,1,14,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,1,6,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930578521960829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853234005756433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237305059949917,0.23039313050402416,0.3752139079803944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18758236128378364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525674628139965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970036848326559,0.18349761827955915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23662966577296926,0.0,0.0,0.10640128002266787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383804233597852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679732117048308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455257022548551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316466627536668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801582859225632,0.0,0.21794746358211206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739275175777684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490620492825859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19581952567889654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25044795656509833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BananaRuntsFool,2019/02/17,"[RANT] Dating slump- encompassing anger, apathy, lonliness, anxiety, etc. Ugh. Can I say that enough?

It's been years since I've dated someone with the intention of a long term relationship. I haven't really had a long term relationship and I'm 28. I've done the hookup thing and I'm over it. I'm to the point where it doesn't turn me on anymore and I really don't even have as high of a sex drive as I used to (maybe in my early 20s).

I've been busy off and on, either focusing on school, then a career and now going back to school to start a new career. I'm busy, and I've always been too busy but deep down know I could make time if I really wanted. The problem is, the idea of getting dressed up and getting to know someone and putting that effort out feels exhausting to me. Sometimes I even get annoyed when someone wants to talk to me and I just don't want to. I could say that I'm focusing on a career but deep down I know that is more of an excuse.

Ideally, I would just wake up one day and be in something that is healthy and has worked for 3 years already. It's the in-between, the beginning, the figuring it out that I have no interest in. It just doesn't feel hopeful or magical to me.

The parts of me that want a relationship want someone I can rely on, talk to, someone who is supportive and that has my back. Deep down I am a hopeless romantic- I like Valentines day, I like cute shit. I just don't know if I really believe in it happening.

Aaand here's the negative part. I am frustrated with being myself and being open only to have some guy cross a boundary and turn it into something purely sexual. There is this sinking feeling I  get when I'm just hanging out with a guy and being myself and it starts getting sexual. It makes me kind of sad and then I feel myself turn into someone else and I just kinda do it.

I don't know how to be in a relationship, I feel uncomfortable with the idea of bringing someone around my family and integrating someone into my life (maybe because I've never really done that) and overall have no idea how to have an appropriate relationship.

I've always been there for me and only know what it is like to have myself, family and friends there for challenging times.

I do want it to be different but don't know how to encompass all my feelings about it so I can figure out what my issue is.",2.8990767076061204,4.528569155462192,4.614117647058826,83.72032428355959,74.88235294117645,8.075328592975652,25.440422322775262,8.768130331264683,1.8440377720318888,1842,63,376,38,39,623,192,476,0.122,0.792,0.085,-0.9415,1,0,2,0,0,1,50.0,0,0,0,4,25,20,4,0,24,0,46,5,2,7,3,90,90,38,0,14,13,0,6,3,1,1,2,2,0,2,28,35,0,0,18,0,0,6,12,9,0,1,7,8,43,11,59,74,10,65,0,2,0,1,14,34,1,6,28,266,71,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720181820050575,0.0,0.10860633683852647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049925211275408235,0.0,0.06472231559936606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809696969015425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036481863190902,0.0,0.039783077510461284,0.0,0.0,0.0735278665640258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042127094728447,0.0,0.0,0.08417711441674923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818484493251614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357126169457662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451798297999685,0.0,0.0,0.06743303747717733,0.07278432277794124,0.08620980176425506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304631204371308,0.0,0.1979904096172384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05042121881762617,0.0,0.17048337013723075,0.0,0.037089868776725474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923917716282693,0.057710924721632126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895283075682572,0.0,0.06481983942571932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22101838534761295,0.0,0.06811651769611808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796027563436853,0.2510638175308983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046096443606852174,0.09565107325033437,0.0,0.0,0.11550953988422308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712571356532403,0.0,0.13112879630923624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033403725171287,0.06303039565392367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044223184678456685,0.09926930391410793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134465901599216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061693634996802076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06244687002366756,0.0,0.0656062827973334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090423737643891,0.0,0.0,0.35033454053993524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037978402903222,0.0,0.13209715025734572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699045136022377,0.05398535744357767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423698912697929,0.1004836713278408,0.06454573490872027,0.0,0.09238548480910352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740584847343783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491016278602136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04335713809427228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610953292308655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21295877560887996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056365368868494914,0.0,0.0,0.23095912539878086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04751147511048337,0.0,0.0,0.04636021511012999,0.0,0.0,0.08405310910000639
mentalhealth,AmunMorocco,2019/02/17,"Just my stupid brain. You know, I don't think anyone will ever fall in love with me. I don't actually know if that's just my bad self esteem telling me that or if something else could force that thought.

It's not like I haven't tried. Maybe they were just all the wrong people? But, when everyone you've ever dated has been abusive cheaters, how can you expect anyone to be any different?

And it's not like I think I'm so awful. I try to be as kind and polite as I can. I'm not really ugly, although I'm not my own cup of tea. I'm a really hard worker and a good provider. I have great relationships with my family and at least 6 friends who seem to enjoy beinh around me.

I just dont think I have ""it"". Whatever ""it"" is that makes people want you romantically. The thing that makes people fall in love. Whatever ""it"" is, I couldn't even guess.

I worry I'll die very alone.",1.1034972677595611,3.0733377377049176,2.9476775956284165,92.03714480874321,81.45901639344262,6.252459016393442,18.36338797814207,7.3871296695380915,0.1935551912568303,678,15,154,10,18,226,106,183,0.165,0.662,0.174,0.4239,1,1,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,1,1,11,12,1,0,4,1,18,4,1,3,3,37,35,14,1,6,12,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,12,7,1,0,7,0,0,2,9,3,0,0,3,1,22,9,12,27,3,10,0,0,0,2,11,4,0,5,6,94,34,1,0.0,0.16265788969532555,0.13396839099862956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421837710833649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335713809427924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19198291155829894,0.0,0.0,0.1222109631971678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462555897140665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325321455271845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096092934793924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247806524935974,0.1434315011453087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608946371273698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468231901054472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906741174869919,0.2483606408196035,0.0,0.1311797762281516,0.0,0.0,0.1294181813003397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106064494415817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514645528509733,0.0,0.1513549766842477,0.1512326864674536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297859030327292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429591042134635,0.15089427765853192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413906502765802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24780650944842425,0.0,0.18327491831064088,0.0,0.1379192114950603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855242107964129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758939922892252,0.0,0.0,0.14739055020929456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497727443939008,0.1432160946742043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568714964013172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199913807309644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912047157749023,0.2638961824980817,0.0,0.10898735620242216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641227196451127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327284086323428,0.08097306200505644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941753612799873,0.0,0.0,0.15009739411481174,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ktzkrzy,2019/02/17,"Im just asking Im just asking if there’s something like ADHD that I have, im not sure, never been diagnosed but have been to the doctor multiiple times per year, but I can’t really focus on sonethibg like studying for longer than a short period of time and completely sidetracked, i like to work by myself a lot but only want help when I need, and I also get really pissed A LOT of times, but never show it, which is why I take martial arts in the form of sparring. Just wondering if it’s normal or there’s a specific mental disease of it",5.938648648648647,5.218769846846847,7.039414414414412,77.54398648648649,66.74774774774775,10.282882882882882,29.31081081081081,9.725611199111238,2.510902702702704,427,12,85,8,6,145,72,111,0.07200000000000001,0.8059999999999999,0.123,0.5468,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,1,0,6,0,6,3,1,0,3,22,13,11,0,5,11,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,7,4,11,11,3,11,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,6,11,57,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887678356551595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256089679661582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936788349023149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468509766285022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594229286426963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076798712634693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820626873724944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052808322386196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5089882504990728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302096713206509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670709040656648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15828980036745735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646554988032586,0.2422844151812528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389542940928558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945895142486915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20124636147235472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092030002075113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803678788451535,0.0,0.11809722939722933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747666591163539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264406301608064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173140874132373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033591244232615,0.11434896334637235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114804759560626
mentalhealth,thatgirlisback,2019/02/17,"please talk with me.. can anyone please talk..
",3.17625,6.225134125000004,0.8049999999999997,103.54,82.75,3.2,8.0,3.1291,-2.39865,35,0,7,0,1,9,6,8,0.0,0.5660000000000001,0.434,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488855022046057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7814429570371295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5721913243744859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,notreal_throwaway,2019/02/17,"Whats wrong with me? help. Ill start from the beginning. I've always had anxiety problems, ever since i was a little kid but in the past few years I've been feeling terrible. I think it started when i was 15 where on night i just sitting and there was  weird pop in my neck which afterward made me thing there was something wrong with my eye, I didn't get anxious I just didn't like it. Went to an eye doctor, said everything was fine. Time goes on and at the end of the school year, right at the beginning of the summer it came back. I thought i was going blind or that there was something wrong with my eyes position in my head and I can see more of my skin with that one than the other one. I spent the whole summer like this, depressed and sad about my eye.  When school came around again though it went away. The next summer at about the same time as the year before I started having anxiety about possibly being gay and id spend my whole day obsessing and checking so make sure I wasn't, The anxiety was terrible. Again it lasted the whole summer but its never gone away I've just stopped checking and analyzing and the anxiety about it is also gone. Also ever since the end of a terrible relationship I've been feeling numb, as if i have no emotion about anything, I don't want anything, I don't enjoy anything, no motivation, no aspirations. Soon after the terrible relationship i got into a new one, I didn't really want it because of all the aforementioned things I don't feel. So soon after that started I started having a lot of anxiety about this person and the relationship, whether we were compatible or not, If I found them attractive, etc. In effect making me want to run away from this person at all costs, even though they'd done nothing to warrant it. It still goes on today even though were just friends now. I've spent numerous hours searching my symptoms up and seeing what it could be. OCD, Depression, Anhedonia, GAD, and recently Neurosis, Or Schizophrenia. Every know and again i have some temporary relief and think I've been cured, but it always comes back I know you'll tell me to go see a doctor and get diagnosed, I know I should. However I'd like to know if any of you out there have experienced what i'm feeling or something similar and perhaps give me some insight in to what I might have. Any help at all is appreciated.",5.126289621318372,6.095360867391302,5.7423141654978975,80.32240532959328,68.58695652173913,9.152875175315568,29.62131837307153,9.370254747372089,2.5064018232819074,1869,68,362,37,31,606,212,460,0.187,0.737,0.077,-0.9942,1,0,3,0,0,0,45.0,1,2,2,2,38,23,0,1,24,0,38,15,7,5,7,79,83,37,0,9,16,0,5,3,1,3,7,1,0,3,26,26,0,1,15,0,6,10,12,14,0,3,32,15,43,9,50,44,13,79,0,3,8,1,17,23,0,11,48,257,69,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112940041364194,0.11580038621459632,0.0,0.0,0.09464020687676664,0.0,0.26616120733973336,0.07861110597609508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178727757392034,0.06194529457355775,0.0,0.0,0.19613185138378653,0.10701295245058064,0.0,0.0424182959726012,0.0,0.05921160629891735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917312639580922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05994121122374131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055557863181442096,0.0,0.0,0.044876489915973115,0.0,0.119866707501119,0.07062718676496348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244614308959305,0.0,0.07120948989560243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827362226397865,0.12326309664630593,0.0,0.07760553328103383,0.09192031174596398,0.125887012536077,0.058628261172681426,0.0,0.06253840179317535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140736821121529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629622745595831,0.05376110439276464,0.0,0.07271045384546697,0.06675215594658815,0.07909337988959614,0.0,0.05565338390814495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141416041477308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328255433009733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852708835861186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296811733562365,0.056720963217130715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198697006692677,0.06974232870018522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591585751859085,0.0,0.0658428943773211,0.09289689325483104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381855951164645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053668147947519985,0.06720550911163763,0.07400430753787078,0.06530069451319839,0.0,0.06676856748181992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145754330206128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642664006867634,0.0,0.12151766350529772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844649500830701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658333092833107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044577854887275996,0.0,0.06870667257852135,0.2241243537703766,0.0,0.05942510589708246,0.06619115407818521,0.0,0.0,0.14084722367895802,0.16635041655733926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512266086635364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607095168672075,0.0,0.0,0.24626267520243486,0.0,0.05557057372881147,0.05817607409687368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558292433228327,0.0723253321693619,0.0,0.0,0.06082025074686397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245820239644198,0.0891743606521212,0.20510036900210796,0.0552426206956592,0.08115100429369693,0.0,0.06595832832009949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312889238096815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901175872457152,0.0,0.2330670949421764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282404225428987,0.0,0.13443114066340886
mentalhealth,hypthemis0,2019/02/17,"Is this just bad anxiety or something bigger? Hi, so I’ve been thinking about asking this for a while. I’m 15 and recently been diagnosed with anxiety. I’ve had it for as long as I could remember but never spoke up about it due to my younger sister also having anxiety and often causing huge problems whenever it flared up. Earlier last year I finally did speak up and got medicated for the illness, but there was much more I never told my parents or doctor.

I’ve researched it a bit and think it might be something called sensory overload. Often times I can’t focus in class due to too much movement and as well in other scenarios. But sight isn’t nearly as bad as hearing. I always have headphones on me. Always. Too much sound drives me insane. I’ll be sitting on the couch and my little sister will start talking, then my dad, and my mom, and they’ll be talking about something completely normal, but their voices will overlap and I’ll start tearing up and have to retreat to my room and call a friend to help calm me down as I have a total panic attack complete with sobs and a ton of tears. I can’t enjoy public spaces because of all the noise. It’s gotten to the point where it’s affecting my grades. It’s why I always have headphones. They’re my lifeline. It drowns out the noise and let’s me focus on one thing and one thing only. I’ve considered buying noise canceling headphones.

I also have a speech problem. I went to a speech tutor when I was younger, but never grew out of it. I’ll try to talk and my lips won’t just function. I get super frustrated whenever I continuously stutter but play it off in front of my friends. It spoils my mood for the next hour. Up until two years ago, I would hit the sides of my head with my fists whenever I stuttered after I got in private. I knew hitting myself hurt and was bad but I couldn’t control myself. As I said, I’ve had it under wraps for the past two years, but now I’m twice as frustrated.

I don’t know if this means anything but I draw on my arms a lot. Just thought to share that just in case. Nearly everyday there’s a new design on my arm. I do it because it relaxes me during one of my stutter sessions or when I’m stuck without headphones. It just gets me to focus on one thing instead of everything. 

Another thing that has recently been scaring me is my growing fantasy about hurting an innocent person in some way. I know it wrong trust me I know. And it’s not kids or the elderly. But a part of me just thinks “hey life sucks, we all die, why not kill a bunch of people?” I used to self harm, but never because I was depressed. Rather because I just wanted to cut something open. My parents know I want to be a doctor. They think it’s because I want to save people and do something good. I really just want to cut something open. I’ve told my friends this, and they joke around how I’m a serial killer in the making who was just “too lazy to catch the squirrel.” They were referring to the link between animal cruelty and serial killers. I’ve been trying to call out for help, but it feels like no one believes me. I’m terrified to go to a doctor. I don’t want to be label as a psychopath. I want y’all to know I’d never kill someone. I know it’s wrong. I know it’s bad. I don’t WANT to kill someone, but there’s a small part of my brain that sees appeal.

I’m sorry for the long post. I just really needed to get this out. I know I kinda went off the rails on that last paragraph; I added it last second. Can anyone please just shed some light on what I’m going through?",2.586029847371396,4.272191037241377,4.01903900508762,87.4169926512154,75.86896551724138,6.795477671000566,24.98869417750141,7.578289261198853,1.2283510457885818,2782,95,570,37,61,920,309,725,0.182,0.6890000000000001,0.129,-0.9939,2,0,6,0,0,0,70.0,1,1,5,2,35,43,9,2,31,0,45,12,5,6,8,119,101,56,5,16,33,6,1,1,3,6,7,8,2,3,39,31,0,1,19,4,1,10,17,27,1,9,25,12,78,15,93,60,15,91,0,4,2,0,39,43,2,12,36,386,117,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064657465630492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138139712023076,0.14262225303325182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05991084523054871,0.1311239532154805,0.0,0.0,0.039949997784701735,0.0,0.047017092412105145,0.050862107146557305,0.05341334833123847,0.06499911119053771,0.0,0.0,0.1908207679447475,0.17414429373411813,0.0,0.0,0.06437138197366313,0.0,0.0,0.06237643063205388,0.0,0.0,0.06378135983233413,0.17502313180292306,0.0,0.0,0.05869320333709861,0.0,0.0,0.11980955303579498,0.0,0.06408156401920438,0.04561750830989686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921014067490942,0.0579906442519831,0.059296927470047625,0.0,0.0,0.17543974184754454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134909624171393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028889084008023456,0.040817130083284484,0.0,0.06258840757968437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242667118299253,0.0,0.08955176304242449,0.0,0.06494207494244793,0.04792198009934852,0.0913918771358256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058636813398060886,0.0,0.06439509971412098,0.0,0.07659253710720497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056266293259748634,0.0,0.1223280227686806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18963365444853547,0.0,0.25119844299692023,0.13971752310483582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058424229117605114,0.0403560162657552,0.027913189289608148,0.05726410406826012,0.0,0.10112504361886783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048573984682086735,0.0,0.0,0.038137939054425134,0.0,0.0,0.06223657359596076,0.0,0.05755732485797343,0.0,0.06061101991899431,0.0,0.06691561599342834,0.0,0.0,0.12600201021107474,0.04236474846010795,0.2203294947627268,0.05518116959176042,0.06076353410230916,0.0,0.05597999719903477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358017892100526,0.043453608673321084,0.0,0.06703540623803952,0.12688292245130522,0.12374289450562068,0.05454165498473579,0.07922018681217584,0.0498879250147601,0.0,0.0627168801034454,0.05401087681858426,0.0,0.05471936840629868,0.0,0.0,0.1093406217587692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320406327063156,0.0,0.11282749291707753,0.0,0.0647226184605186,0.0,0.05434830190178853,0.0,0.057201926637454124,0.0,0.04552905790536834,0.0,0.05960408266056187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968203028840082,0.2639110758175511,0.0,0.06395775840035446,0.08088064579284927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377684232631244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183135472159964,0.14643875430531952,0.0,0.04535866868052037,0.03331577566828323,0.0,0.0,0.1091895466565193,0.0,0.077581590898646,0.0,0.11162484316503772,0.0,0.0,0.049346143973331265,0.0,0.0,0.23589719887315455,0.04535096433026368,0.0,0.0,0.051371068897966735,0.10592910955686956,0.10311058482774972,0.0,0.0,0.05507593201695263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04058694009075806,0.12493592296740062,0.0,0.1103788613376759
mentalhealth,TeenW0lf666,2019/02/17,"My eye will not stop twitching I know it's because of stress, ive been diagnosed with GAD and suffer sporadic panic attacks, I have legit anxiety problems. it's happened before but I'm on day 6 and it isn't going away. Never had it last this long before. Anyone else have experience with this? I can fill in more details about what is going on with me but dont feel like spelling it out at the moment",1.4486043360433598,3.8258661097560975,3.3608943089430916,87.19453929539299,83.02439024390246,5.107859078590786,22.52574525745257,6.42735559955562,0.663621680216802,319,11,61,3,9,107,63,82,0.177,0.804,0.018000000000000002,-0.8648,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,2,1,0,10,3,1,0,1,14,16,4,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,2,0,0,3,4,5,0,0,2,2,6,1,11,13,1,15,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,7,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395849990739425,0.0,0.0,0.14986144516218208,0.21960190843278915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438263148290201,0.20136595948972627,0.0,0.0,0.13065089848758954,0.0,0.3647506052031809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822228342878892,0.0,0.0,0.2175359758546995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511880108811717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904153991592786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20965156590913409,0.0,0.0,0.10836946480412432,0.1531142538384864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436123590082607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895274231976695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778774648776097,0.17470397236575286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470866377940276,0.0,0.0,0.1896714145077565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530111803730693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25146491646899505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050806570754735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791858012435626,0.2455092544762795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adeptwarrior,2019/02/17,"I spent months on a psych ward the illicit drug use was crazy People Snorting up all sorts in their bed spaces smoking legal highs and other stuff or  in the smoking area right in front of staff.

I ended up getting involved in drug use after a few weeks there, which was because my judgment was terrible because I was having an extremely serious psychotic elevated mental breakdown (shizoaff) . I was detained under the mental health act on a section not the first either. I ended up unconscious on the smoking area floor after someone gave me a legal high, I was wheeled in a wheelchair back to my bed space. I spent 4 months in a locked rehab which was the worst experience of my life because of these people.

I felt like I was a fucking scapegoat because all the tuckers pumping me with drugs and laughing at me look stupid high on stuff I've never used and I got punished and sent to hell on earth locked rehab and they got off Scott free. Fucking ass holes. 

All I can say is that the staff were amazing. ",7.020397727272727,7.125967479166674,6.76623106060606,77.64051136363638,64.3125,8.648484848484847,35.16287878787878,8.00094639256281,2.745014583333333,804,34,141,8,11,253,113,192,0.156,0.767,0.078,-0.9507,0,0,4,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,2,12,5,0,16,0,12,10,1,3,4,18,26,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,7,1,2,0,7,6,0,0,1,0,3,3,2,8,0,1,16,4,19,5,25,10,7,40,1,0,1,3,6,27,4,2,11,97,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939007499109998,0.0,0.29776655708015715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248522753069094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163195565842435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945425881085008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725186351645615,0.0,0.0,0.10387300598581227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22579115428943444,0.06380130616068656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19533689574532334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980509564206524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870712429799784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625513764516231,0.05966039780625421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025478677752552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461312525512805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949459021059791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418447436881773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932167121654385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428760032302692,0.0,0.09711266532697817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346968463278458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279590434679581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164106991618118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795521974974307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jdamfanjam99,2019/02/17,"I am kinda feeling traumatized because of my mistake. I go to a dumbass charter school and I am in my senior year of high school.

Some days ago, I got in trouble. I was trying to pull down the hoodie of someone I didn't get along with (just to score a laugh, I did this because we always poked at each other to get on one another's nerves), then that someone grabbed my head and tried to swing it around, then I let go.

We got sent to the office to explain what happened, probably receiving referrals.

I did not lose my privileges as a student, but this was just a warning to not do it again.

We met up to mediate the situation and apologized to each other...

I may forgive him, and I admit that I was the root of the situation, but I still feel traumatized. 

Because he grabbed my head in response to a stupid immature act I did to him. I feel stupid myself.

I am trying to cope with this by talking to peers around me, but how can I really forget this situation?",5.6214319359397065,5.331570709844564,6.7822609514837495,77.6875035327367,67.29015544041451,10.126990108337258,34.125765426283564,9.800150414767053,3.171501554404145,749,32,150,15,11,254,105,193,0.142,0.792,0.066,-0.9387,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,0,1,7,8,2,0,10,0,14,2,2,2,0,34,28,11,0,1,7,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,14,0,0,6,0,0,6,3,5,0,1,11,5,29,3,32,15,3,24,0,1,0,0,14,10,0,3,8,116,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236678324439864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608409196865806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628915025010006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483882310712398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25513331337490097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997287060826298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162243003454947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457771823945117,0.0,0.15857431024800134,0.0,0.223158928813514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336886572176076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863564876231156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474007314872488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265915960193382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560768061297105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453607196039494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041614827680716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937413726600807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823845861235552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.470447671321513,0.0,0.0,0.2364139544577269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141343828563724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213342922527594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284155856020875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984032728701298
mentalhealth,throwaway2840203,2019/02/17,"I want to kill people, specifically people who have hurt others, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Backstory: My boyfriend was molested twice. Two different times. By females. Once made him get drunk so she could assault him, the other molested him in his sleep. He has PTSD now. 

I want to kill them. I want to torture them. I want to hurt their loved ones. I generally want them to feel the pain that we feel. I have plans on how I will do it. Kind of like a Cersei Lannister style. I believe in an eye for an eye. 

My boyfriend isn’t mad at all about it though. He says the only one who’s really mad about it is me. When he asked me if I would care how their families felt if I killed them, I replied by saying I would be apathetic. It’s true. I do not care if their families were hurt by them being killed. I can’t answer why I wouldn’t care, I just wouldn’t. I would almost be glad if they were hurt by it. 

I have these obsessive thoughts about killing them daily. I’m on anti-psychotics to keep me numb, but I just pass out on them and when I wake up, it’s back to the killing thoughts again. It generally scares my boyfriend. He’s even said he doesn’t know if he wants to have kids with me. I don’t want him to feel scared but for some reason I can’t change my mind on how I feel. I generally feel like I cannot rest my mind until they are killed or hurt someway and I can witness it. I don’t want to kill innocent people, just people who have hurt those I love, like two fucking bitches that raped him. They deserve to be killed or tortured. 

My boyfriend wants me to move on and let it go but I just can’t do it on my own. I don’t know if I want to change myself for myself but I do want to change for him. What should I do? I already see a psychiatrist. I suggested mental hospital but my boyfriend thinks it will damage me more. ",0.8073575129533666,2.8703259922279827,2.266246113989638,96.00242616580313,83.11917098445596,5.725284974093263,20.012694300518135,6.961326702584282,0.14689968911917095,1427,40,335,18,40,461,166,386,0.255,0.648,0.096,-0.9975,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,1,0,13,1,19,42,19,3,8,0,41,11,4,5,2,72,78,25,9,24,18,0,6,3,0,8,2,3,0,1,22,7,1,2,14,1,0,3,13,31,0,5,8,12,74,11,40,56,5,22,0,7,3,4,39,11,2,10,11,228,96,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060040729243759465,0.0,0.06616674537630363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056053992933340464,0.0,0.0,0.04610511689041295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755376891717528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833979697338045,0.0,0.19028744706409986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047872742831665684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264486477672704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03960265202110001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113048868658165,0.0,0.15158650051239714,0.04283504391185238,0.057570476041658235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543154645305003,0.03132633851260536,0.0,0.03407633787836755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851269956698189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05329471518959754,0.5970262411071321,0.06243854160726928,0.06590429259974186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131260122067257,0.0,0.08787947755027463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823149134765236,0.056735082476514376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060425024187859076,0.0,0.121083906370983,0.0,0.0,0.06372740759033907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385485865442163,0.08126015178064921,0.045601864507676816,0.06380108352365879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662733354295467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008938979931363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0384115597829312,0.06164830205761514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570351686595206,0.09536432436766697,0.12005974130755148,0.0,0.047779919623510934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000275319032222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012878600280375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768391905342965,0.05890985636513452,0.095202213421121,0.0349628381710442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714334273065752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890220158957896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410407860451455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778042141777002,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,twoleftbuttcheeks,2019/02/17,"I am losing friends and family for being the shit friend and sibling that I am. To start with, I don’t hate myself at all but I have been shit to my friends and family. I simply can’t help it. I don’t return phone calls because, well, I’m depressed half the time and my phone or humans are the last things I want to deal with. 

Everyone is basically avoiding me because I use them. They lend me a helping hand when I was homeless. They gave me things and money and I don’t return their calls. 

My sister just told me she was getting married and I was stunned. If you’ve kept in contact, you would’ve known what was going on. My best friend in the military has stopped talking to me because I only reached out for money while he was deployed. My older sister has basically rinsed her hands off my life because of the grief I’ve put our mother through. 

I get it. I really do. No one wants to have a friend in their life that basically uses them. Family doesn’t want someone who is constantly depressed, or angry and can’t keep a job. 

I have tried to remedy this with friends. I have tried really hard but I am depressed or in my own head all the time. I basically can’t respond to messages or phone calls fast enough. When I’m alright, I put in the work, holding myself accountable. I can move mountains and everyone thinks I’m this incredible, creative guy But when depression hits, everything just goes to shit. 

So I start from square one again after not returning calls or messages or emails. I 100 percent can not open up to my friends. I opened up to my mother and she pretty much just told me to come back to church. 

I am taking ownership of this problem and by that I mean that I have begun a process of healing my mind, body and soul. I haven’t and will never open up to my friends (now: ex-friends) about what I am going through. I don’t trust them with this. I didn’t trust my mother either but I thought she should know at least. 

I know who I am when I am well. Everybody loves that guy. I am just incredibly sad that I can’t help myself. I try really hard. I really do but I can’t handle everything. ",1.8976893052302868,4.064788023419208,3.2700819672131165,89.72566939890713,79.77283372365339,6.408587041373925,23.51561280249805,7.536579438409214,1.0394334113973458,1654,57,346,25,42,539,190,427,0.114,0.6759999999999999,0.21,0.9938,1,2,0,1,0,0,46.0,1,1,7,3,15,28,4,1,11,1,43,11,7,2,3,63,72,31,1,6,19,5,4,0,8,2,3,0,0,3,18,22,0,5,6,0,3,6,16,13,2,3,12,5,73,15,41,56,9,45,2,7,1,1,53,16,3,7,23,241,91,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05670193967817881,0.0,0.1798062462093311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738616934164917,0.0,0.0,0.08190913965490655,0.0,0.0,0.30118942989248026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352096386865201,0.0,0.07968734963009254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760232804570029,0.2540505485553856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619371161064692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092453224151275,0.13254652282148474,0.0,0.20854811451550198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5127459705864506,0.0,0.0770527991893808,0.0,0.08381692033988597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602949773506085,0.0,0.0,0.13211411707294976,0.07280353743503858,0.07567908974151989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828023096814155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731761284403296,0.06554399879364915,0.0,0.0,0.08105176769003393,0.06010839923907722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417027800788793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824968256574375,0.0,0.0,0.06655373532899582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032508871856911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445694554212673,0.0,0.0,0.07837454635725044,0.05420779703495494,0.0,0.056873266606959086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999370251128054,0.05608301951978013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502066075034468,0.0,0.07055975799964878,0.0,0.1482592621754108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889603664541987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22708087856796416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062480138040740686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043878972371228,0.0,0.0,0.061650410882319186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055443724748264665,0.05926986969146635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797990420752016,0.047249973977419236,0.0,0.058541768535847624,0.08599742825355279,0.0,0.0,0.14092453224151275,0.0,0.15019500139061132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273763372100025,0.0,0.0,0.1304822802950101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260324045424995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368400665608177,0.0,0.0,0.052383178816530776,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scsarah,2019/02/17,"My life feels empty Hey everyone! English isn't my first language, so, sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes.
As the title suggests I feel empty. So this ""issue"" started a few months after I started college, whenever I'm alone laying in bed and doing nothing it feels like my life is pointless and I feel void and lacking some sort of fulfillment. At first I dismissed it and gave it the "" it be like that sometimes"" mentality but now it's getting hard to ignore it as it's getting worst. 
I'm gonna try to explain this emptiness: it's feeling that my life is pointless, feeling extremely sad when I'm alone or when I'm not busy  doing something, crying for hours on end, having low self esteem, it also makes it difficult to do my usual daily activities( studying, working out, attending class) I found myself making excuses(more than usual) to go out with my friends and such, and feeling emotions that aren't as strong as they used to be( not being as happy for doing certain things, not feeling the rush on rollercoasters...), FOMO.
I feel like this emptiness was always there but it just manifested itself now because I have a lot more free time. What I mean by that is in highschool I always worked very hard to get the grades that I wanted and to get to the the uni of my dreams but now I feel it because  I achieved that and I don't have to work myself to exhaustion anymore.
( side note: idk if this event correlates,  after I got result for my final exams(equivalent of sats in my country) I was pleased because it got the results I wanted but I cried the following 2weeks and felt extremely depressed)
I haven't moved away from home, or had any traumatic experience, so I don't understand what I'm feeling this way. 
Please respond if you have felt this way and feel free to call me a spoiled brat or a crybaby.",5.051289398280801,6.424705154727796,5.711706590257883,78.97677478510032,69.08595988538681,7.990876790830946,31.725042979942693,8.364918446050245,2.5008311977077367,1445,62,259,21,25,469,181,349,0.19,0.7170000000000001,0.093,-0.9873,0,2,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,1,1,7,13,17,0,0,12,0,23,4,0,5,1,59,64,31,0,7,14,0,16,3,1,1,4,0,2,1,29,13,0,1,18,1,2,5,8,8,0,2,10,16,33,11,37,50,6,37,0,3,0,0,10,11,0,9,22,178,62,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18136603498563167,0.0,0.07001958796234489,0.1457094726987743,0.0,0.0,0.11908401250546426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683337227226966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822630205268512,0.0,0.0,0.16012245919873788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894058525325153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19235529388047606,0.0,0.0,0.0754130245807624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849024341915168,0.0775498312340145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366480823909522,0.0,0.08564789755713162,0.0,0.0,0.5312595751688839,0.12510198882062332,0.16813758998315534,0.0959148064716684,0.0,0.14895248883024498,0.0,0.09600212430131044,0.0676465979850601,0.0,0.18298042408732726,0.0,0.049760864598153834,0.0,0.14005523622573388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320643625037098,0.15686839040406195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782716957053313,0.0,0.08622636104003824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138713416266582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18553305507107126,0.12832830801668305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744381351196478,0.0,0.0,0.11689043339140075,0.0,0.0,0.09537563173046662,0.0,0.0,0.08823722366190685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988744821226474,0.09305961549076346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401364691996352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19222337331302747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134142047040633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740593224217284,0.0865964663966849,0.09801329441912376,0.12394709800929272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816921842081041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105539986152528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059445699008510426,0.0,0.0,0.0911502980791474,0.0,0.07562144544577692,0.19286412076426326,0.07224399051449411,0.1032871971576296,0.13899791144239598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912283993828716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yeeeeeeee564,2019/02/17,"Having really bad anxiety for the first time, always had depression. I'm dying to get better. I've always had depression, and though alot of work have had a really good past 5 years. Recently alot of stuff has happened in my personal life and I am just falling apart. I started welbutrin and hydroxyzine 5 days ago and they arent helping at all. I fucking hate myself and just want to get back to doing and enjoying the things I do. I'm trying to take it easy but I have mountains of stuff that I need to get done. Like weeks of stuff, all personal stuff like around the house, taxes, find a second job, ect. I just dont know what more I can do. I have an amazing support network, I meditate, and do all the things I've learned to in my lifetime of mental illness, but I cant pull myself out of it. I dont know why I'm writing this, I know I've heard it all before. I dont know. I just want to be happy again.",2.0584473684210534,3.617817200000001,3.884407894736846,88.3639802631579,77.0,7.065789473684213,23.980263157894736,7.8658589789855275,1.1848157894736846,708,23,152,11,16,239,103,190,0.092,0.7440000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9405,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,3,8,13,2,0,9,0,21,3,0,0,4,31,41,10,1,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,2,12,9,0,0,6,0,1,2,5,5,0,2,5,1,20,8,19,35,7,19,0,2,0,1,6,6,1,2,13,104,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794900599733998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388486635089812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452997375805199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836583958033382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496544399568537,0.0922604572504407,0.0,0.0,0.09402488771083216,0.0,0.0,0.09772569937325988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126148383653652,0.0,0.19034196870396256,0.0,0.1146785373700389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307688998638225,0.3885053104312737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099234124635216,0.09398877092159587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215278202082162,0.17319051159608584,0.0,0.0,0.09267971917171218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771221448341456,0.11762621026276728,0.0,0.10909300312710628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406387230899503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749880978412714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096513148951521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429052504201764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804736462569684,0.10796659650475904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135508062531432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193219441106543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548197834618374,0.0,0.1929635992019561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157453452643573,0.0,0.10910254894230932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782104112034584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5059709414890302,0.0,0.12539079177100393,0.0,0.0,0.08308006245902347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681871750589215,0.0,0.1085628329211872,0.0,0.06443174356575111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502027297781587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303480967524588,0.0,0.08863410298235425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970643977623082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804431997721708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115650515039433
mentalhealth,luv_u_deerly,2019/02/17,"I(32f) want children but have depression and anxiety and do self-harm. The Quick and short of it: Should I have children when I have mental health issues? And if yes, how do I know when I have my mental health under control enough to start trying?

The Longer Version:
I'm 32, female from US, married for 9 years. 
I've been wanting to try for a baby for years. I've dreamed of motherhood for a long time now. I've only been putting it off for so long because I wanted to become more financially secure and for me and my husband to have time to sort out our careers. Well, we're finally starting to get into a better place with that. Not amazing, but doable. 

But now I have a whole other problem to deal with. The years it took to become more financially stable, combined with the pressure of getting older and wanting a baby has driven me into depression and has given me extreme anxiety. It's so bad I can go into panic attacks and hit myself at the thought of not having children. I understand that this is NOT healthy and I need to change. I don't want to behave like that and I've been going to therapy and I'm trying to make the changes necessary. 

My husband also has anxiety and depression. I'm starting to wonder if we should even have children at all. The thought feels me with such sadness. But the chances of us passing on anxiety and depression to our children sounds likely. I also know I shouldn't have kids while I'm still dealing with these mental health issues. It wouldn't be right for the baby. But I wonder, what if I never get better? What if this is something I just struggle with forever? Does that mean I never have kids then? How do I know I'm better enough to try? 

I'm starting to give up hope of trying for a baby. The topic has been so full of tension and pressure the last few years that it just doesn't feel like it even holds any joy any more. But at the same time I can't imagine never having that life experience. I can't imagine growing old without children. It makes me not even want to continue living. I'm stuck in this place where I just feel very lost on the subject. 
",3.2720627344016364,5.0927452004773315,4.314656665530176,85.45106443914082,74.32219570405728,6.506948516876918,26.76856460961473,7.2259226712905225,1.3953102079781798,1665,62,318,18,35,541,182,419,0.168,0.731,0.101,-0.9867,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,5,0,0,6,22,25,1,5,19,1,34,4,0,5,4,83,79,36,0,17,18,2,3,3,0,4,4,1,0,8,21,26,0,3,14,1,0,7,14,14,1,0,11,4,34,11,53,62,11,55,0,6,0,0,18,19,0,8,32,227,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164255971745276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900391928429794,0.0,0.2227467885600592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281292007622965,0.0,0.0,0.06077938880721798,0.0443741374753887,0.16078902472943055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19313935099653828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401137922990618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164390777476822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009345089832635,0.2507871490553272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370193240929838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15042993466799853,0.0,0.14423792104345573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120584332197398,0.0,0.0,0.11041948241502436,0.052003568501413286,0.0,0.07974153337883527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409452928946127,0.0698299937995092,0.08274025234019458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321277130182121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230020013039809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195464552974672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001592907669033,0.05933627841059826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051416080749386035,0.10668943027252492,0.0,0.06427784279530946,0.12883961028891197,0.0,0.0,0.07946251714081881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971802241888501,0.0,0.0,0.07929327494821158,0.0,0.0,0.2200756621857981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397533080094213,0.1684281077635222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638435321683601,0.0,0.0,0.05536260659840154,0.0,0.08540728692112487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210707024754005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965338452283615,0.0,0.07317740090199337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06216510489412205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593931737184516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056039860721696116,0.0,0.0,0.20609397061208207,0.0,0.05813284625627758,0.0,0.0,0.07609939218582586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324551526324248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557954364000406,0.12733912589700655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808760664959454,0.24710945922179026,0.0,0.0,0.07578042227417826,0.17512282301538862,0.0,0.0,0.06006211963460977,0.2576123473340162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544994454473574,0.0,0.0,0.08127115178973557,0.0,0.07017017114085901,0.15788251943689954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187506067998724
mentalhealth,mustardface1987,2019/02/17,"Moved to another country to start a new job. I feel alone, depressed and feeling like I've made a huge mistake. I was previously running a company of my own but it just wasn't working out. I accepted a job offer in the U.S. (Pacific Northwest) and moved here the first day of January. That was definitely a mistake since the weather and the winter have been extremely tough on me mentally: Seasonal Affective Dissorder hit me really hard (Something i had never experienced before).  I feel depressive and anxious and I'm not in the mood to go outside.

​

My spouse and dog are still in my country of origin. Basically, she can't relocate because we're not married yet and cant get the proper visa for her. Also, she still has a job over there which she would have to quit in order to come. (She wouldn't be allowed to have a job here)  

​

After one month on the job, I'm feeling anxious, stressed out and under a lot of pressure: Nobody helped onboarding me and I'm having to figure out everything on my own, I want to quit but the company gave me a really big sign-in bonus that I would have to pay back if i quit before one year. I know it sounds frivolous but I need that money to pay debts, my relocation expenses and support my family back home, though at this point, I'm not sure if I'll be strong enough to go through the entire year. I sure as hell don't want to be here around for another winter.

​

I feel trapped and alone.",4.708216783216784,5.834589716783223,5.789097902097904,79.02749300699303,69.66433566433567,9.356363636363636,31.43286713286713,9.642632912329526,2.981799160839161,1153,49,220,26,20,383,153,286,0.16899999999999998,0.7440000000000001,0.087,-0.9712,7,3,1,0,1,0,45.0,0,0,0,7,13,16,1,2,18,0,21,0,0,4,3,49,43,19,0,10,9,1,6,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,7,16,0,0,8,0,7,6,9,8,0,3,7,8,27,7,35,29,4,42,1,2,0,0,9,17,1,3,19,147,34,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732400765084433,0.0,0.06688241696769351,0.0,0.2718535835212533,0.3048749305133789,0.0,0.17539596713867325,0.0,0.18896618228382075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445236700760477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861941597447785,0.0,0.0509827673163961,0.0,0.1423334661212058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720436489588564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05393728321478236,0.0,0.14406841004314186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864167147006845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516522561444204,0.0,0.07884308968324147,0.0,0.21144038319934927,0.05974844770786375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113939653342205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04369553355310892,0.0,0.09506273863012336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492001453720096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605839005369633,0.0,0.0838921442877911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149712936050862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045963291040655135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04085955399673833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110299469410165,0.0,0.07913691218631845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428382623732379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675619763221811,0.17778030940295278,0.0,0.06201386410217397,0.06450402205872828,0.08077464581867426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334569749456412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906156171848562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668665073276726,0.0,0.0,0.10715670448666988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918325804017167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438586397768516,0.0,0.0,0.05919687427646118,0.0,0.1335811147097757,0.0,0.09580294770169524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490735084596784,0.15764890571376586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217039486998376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865949784560266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060886855215752586,0.0,0.0,0.11882298744114547,0.0,0.3048749305133789,0.1077156512675129
mentalhealth,letitrainoO,2019/02/17,"I don't understand if this is depression or something else lurking in the background... Hello! 

I have been previously diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the past by a psychiatrist (now been discharged from the mental health services).  I would typically describe myself as high functioning in the past but now i feel i'm slowly slipping away on a emotional level.  For example, recently i would have these random thoughts and images of self-harm and suicide even though i don't want them in my head.  The best way to describe this it i'm forced to be thinking this way, it's like someone putting these thoughts and images into my head.   Now every time i think about me engaging in these thoughts i automatically burst out laughing which is something i don't have control over, it's like an automatic response.  This I would like to emphasis this is not a nervous laughter, it's the kind of laugh you would have with your friends. 

Can this be depression? What can i do to make myself feel better?

​

​",5.222983870967743,7.670813704301075,5.311491935483872,77.68723790322579,70.55913978494623,8.305913978494624,33.668010752688176,9.017664075816787,3.270097849462366,823,41,138,17,16,258,108,186,0.13,0.679,0.191,0.9414,0,0,2,0,0,1,27.0,0,2,1,3,6,14,0,1,10,0,21,4,2,2,0,28,33,9,1,6,4,0,2,3,1,4,2,0,0,0,15,8,0,1,8,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,5,2,19,10,23,22,1,22,0,3,0,0,5,12,0,3,10,102,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24799249886974634,0.27811550203399193,0.0,0.0,0.08754668020455482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752063033930802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009825934264975,0.10121333499150977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835476786558614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29570234183428684,0.11615471306393832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560036501434152,0.12873017531908534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558688038312752,0.0,0.0964210690794314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115729125168918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841645746875218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348979675287033,0.12164491522468895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091268658166038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191721850660673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16772956402478434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638993194260345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532912172149093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21849284023319532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504432555695315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129962016679829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938641496710167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696507639567213,0.17620379793667965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251793482007136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665772132022206,0.11243722425675484,0.2725589556819548,0.06673118419648601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913661135123026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749998038756558,0.1816751069729507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32518103160918344,0.0,0.27811550203399193,0.0
mentalhealth,UnsTaBLe__,2019/02/17,"Just a vent I've been wanting to post here for a while now, but put it off because of lack of motivation. Anyway, here I am now.

​

I have diagnosed Anticipatory Anxiety and undiagnosed mild depression (it's very clear). The depression is a problem also, but it's the anxiety that causes the most issues and I'm pretty sure it got worse after I was diagnosed. I was bullied for a lot of my school life and that put a lot of emotional distress on me. Going to school was torture, I was struggling to even walk through the doors, I actually walked all the way to school one day, saw some older boys outside the entrance and automatically turned around and speed walked back home again. I've been lucky enough to have a very understanding mother who has never forced me to do things that cause my anxiety to flare up, although I do feel she often gets irritated that I can barely get out the door sometimes without having a panic attack. I had my worst panic attack 2 days ago and it was for, by far, the most stupidest reason, but it was scary. Really scary. I honestly thought I was going to die. My breathing was short and ragged, my heart was beating like there was no tomorrow, I was crying and grabbing onto anything within reach to stop myself from collapsing. Not to mention, my sleep patterns are confusing and all over the place. One day, I'll go to sleep at eight and wake up at 10, next, I'll go to sleep at 11 and wake up at 7. Along with waking up multiple times in the night. Some days I'll eat loads and others I'll eat barely anything. I hate this. I want everything to go back to the way it was.

​

I'm sorry if this was a mess, I'm not good at spilling my emotions out.",5.037696065128898,5.793106540298506,5.882367706919947,80.01036295793759,68.67164179104478,8.837177747625509,29.257123473541387,8.97023862654752,2.251985074626865,1341,47,263,23,22,441,184,335,0.26,0.634,0.106,-0.9969,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,2,14,19,4,5,19,0,26,13,8,4,5,51,45,19,1,5,8,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,16,17,2,1,5,0,0,10,5,14,0,3,19,3,25,5,46,26,11,54,0,2,1,0,5,21,0,10,21,181,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.08215639114988045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462853382869734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732597152502394,0.0,0.1824376515576433,0.20459787809753907,0.0,0.0,0.1932132319846002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385608679526749,0.07494612438342169,0.0,0.191554449683378,0.0,0.1294724014182338,0.0,0.05132087768701006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297073851417874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924777438382604,0.21717995003737195,0.0,0.14502385099069087,0.1709002745269889,0.08737496637564551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17229287968280166,0.0,0.1894027519126925,0.0,0.08698981790736926,0.0,0.05560608892815416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566371056587792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04256852507407363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797063207773577,0.0,0.2392329525559008,0.07061380038535693,0.06733369275991151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311928019531445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976445725018536,0.0,0.0,0.08444850490707083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878715195481869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946523225940314,0.04113052867449999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14314907903018334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493180344354442,0.0,0.08953603459026556,0.07900574219561593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409738983698943,0.0,0.0,0.19755547600624224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795966289860906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062986024043088,0.08565055409442861,0.0,0.08055757319374106,0.0,0.16926654374870662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053933676159383985,0.08656038905321367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25561151054907005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527496210145828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326514623202665,0.0942427749315582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038583504072335,0.0,0.08801269885168325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934720527641101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055931479418851834,0.0,0.0,0.06683672021297278,0.04909132568909575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157353628164154,0.0,0.08764379442327422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892960497992746,0.09931379342697326,0.13365073546049974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115526239566741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579585819663793,0.0,0.0,0.20459787809753907,0.0
mentalhealth,ohohcalamity,2019/02/17,"How to get real help Hi, 

I’ve recently been broken up with by my fiancé who I was in a relationship with 11 years. To say I was devastated is an understatement- we had moved four years ago to a city 700 miles away from family, purchased a home, and settled into our lives here. I have little to no network outside of him. 

This happened about three months ago and I feel like I’m spiraling deeper into something bad. I’ve gone to see three different counselors (I had attempted to see a psychiatrist but they wanted me to see their counselor first) and all have not recommended further therapy, essentially seemed to write it off as a bad breakup. 

I have not gone a single day without losing my mind. I still go to work and have to power walk back to my car at the end of the day before I break down. I haven’t been able to bring myself to clear the house of everything I own and I’m living in an apartment with basically a bed and a couch and a few clothes. I’m already on antidepressants and my primary care gave me something for sleep and anxiety but nothing is truly helping me. 

I don’t feel like I would truly kill myself. I don’t want to hurt my family like that. But the only thing that comforts me is making lists in my mind of all the options I have to end it before my life gets too horrible to handle. 

There’s only one crisis center in my town and I used to work at it. I can’t bear to utilize their services in front of my old coworkers. 

I don’t know what to do and any and all advice is appreciated. ",4.162229437229435,4.975849292207794,5.646233766233768,80.70482683982686,70.68831168831169,8.593939393939394,27.653679653679646,8.841846274778883,2.001097835497836,1194,40,243,21,21,405,172,308,0.14400000000000002,0.7609999999999999,0.094,-0.9547,2,0,2,0,0,1,22.0,2,0,3,6,7,10,1,0,16,0,22,2,1,3,4,43,45,17,1,3,6,0,2,3,0,1,1,1,3,0,9,18,0,0,4,0,1,8,9,5,0,5,9,6,38,5,47,35,6,43,0,2,3,0,14,20,0,2,17,167,47,3,0.11082119052132626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082931847811802,0.19647259765828534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229393948375768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536220977505224,0.0,0.08477790741787716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412015650529946,0.08521465492705059,0.1850621301621738,0.0,0.0,0.18860134153456826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298958958166842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294099975581656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578455700674245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19630936265972826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959894024895233,0.0,0.20894471118024996,0.0,0.1120690474635724,0.15834136130311272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942644480444087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579899614286528,0.0,0.06298223644860748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799881278540667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856221599201305,0.0,0.11116268990045812,0.0,0.0,0.12787277472375452,0.11863637651145965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12260722778646085,0.0,0.06090442808600888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782762842371798,0.16242490768249887,0.11107194667374068,0.19571428313732306,0.0,0.0,0.12398056523066342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739740052136327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237956217126121,0.0,0.08845641697829289,0.11778538725135435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633592116924916,0.0,0.11628819732133301,0.0,0.07509530677220412,0.16856901837114033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126138776659514,0.0,0.0,0.1094225560717679,0.11898048494712675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812945873944708,0.0,0.0,0.2649304223327757,0.10088744969778313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090122425976344,0.0,0.0,0.17063113339364488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850194590389883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673368952365874,0.0,0.07362467469558594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957139269205563,0.0,0.0,0.13073041889503498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682767299915248,0.0,0.16135829314706884,0.0,0.0,0.07872419413106096,0.0,0.0,0.14273042656055948
mentalhealth,ramenmuri,2019/02/17,"Clinically depressed, and unsure what to do with my life I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I came to realize after reading up on mental health issues that I may be clinically depressed. I think it’s been about 8-9 years that I have been feeling numb everyday. I get through work days faking a smile, hide out on a different floor (I don’t have a designated cubicle at work) so I can avoid seeing colleagues, and spend rest of my weekends at home too. I usually end up eating junk food, not taking a shower, not cleaning up, and just letting life flow by. This has taken a toll on my relationship with my fiancé. We loved each other so much for almost 9 years but we only recently started living together one year ago. He is finding it very very difficult to live with someone that doesn’t have any interest in cooking, exercising, and just basically living a normal life like everybody else. We are very close to breaking up our engagement, and I am feeling hopeless. I want to become better but I honestly don’t know where to start. My only close friend is my Fiancé, and I cannot tell my parents - they won’t understand me.  I tried seeing a psychologist but I felt uncomfortable sharing my feelings and my whole life story to them. I never ended up going back because I’m afraid of how they’ll judge me.  Is there any way I can self treat this? Life is just so hard. I am also contemplating whether I should quit my job to just stay home. ",4.437256874580818,5.862067380281694,5.6392152917505065,78.71960093896715,70.61971830985915,8.508115358819586,29.0167672702884,8.976282227363876,2.4190330650570084,1152,44,215,22,21,384,167,284,0.091,0.773,0.136,0.9433,4,1,0,0,0,2,30.0,4,0,3,4,15,17,0,2,7,0,28,15,0,1,1,48,48,16,0,3,11,1,5,1,1,4,11,0,4,1,10,19,3,1,10,4,1,3,9,8,0,1,5,7,39,9,32,37,4,38,0,3,2,1,15,16,0,2,17,148,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888731132570585,0.0,0.10039440799129926,0.0,0.0,0.08017668826536814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635843948659626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942949426449714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709259987150738,0.0,0.061116652587584475,0.11072763915394906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867049808306213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466901774526644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465843996459288,0.0,0.17270500266902294,0.0,0.0,0.10474879622832356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258947766937296,0.08375311398893527,0.0,0.17759854991506765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520811339578792,0.0,0.09626388507898236,0.0,0.09163445499310433,0.0,0.1212329792462253,0.0,0.0774594703667435,0.0,0.05238092956432467,0.0,0.05697921745621998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981192550633328,0.0,0.0,0.10657009990975834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20113490526888386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464382868356503,0.0994910936383253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101989020282286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252111157686884,0.4248932720756472,0.04898124009245775,0.0,0.26559028371283644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048721290300088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103698951708813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370153526405589,0.0,0.0773255379057728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823204560153387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793775603707658,0.15250221801806324,0.0,0.0,0.11132520228589264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663725852298676,0.10028563392281792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989931759904429,0.1076401110395745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978609203760852,0.0,0.10459148372466984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494870385792197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192696826254345,0.10686222389810948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538191659162732,0.0,0.08763035029947518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424160017196281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806894208925347,0.0,0.0,0.10437263695863716,0.0,0.0,0.11042057614225356,0.24817129356609946,0.05913506241113816,0.07958053267356739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193503765748644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597876785613265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19368956561067704
mentalhealth,Agnes_de_Lazulis,2019/02/17,"Suicide Topic Broachibility Here is an early draft for a research effort by Brigham Young University to encourage public understanding of suicide in order to reduce stigma's against it. While this is a research poll mass data is the only current goal in an effort to increase the measurement quality. Everything is anonymous and the collected data will be deleted in a few weeks. 

 [https://byu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_6Ws7A8tDJ3XqOrP](https://byu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6Ws7A8tDJ3XqOrP) ",13.506666666666668,16.770313,9.85655555555556,50.04400000000001,50.944444444444436,11.871111111111116,43.56666666666667,11.602472056035307,6.364346666666667,424,21,42,11,5,121,54,72,0.124,0.799,0.077,-0.6597,1,0,0,0,0,2,26.0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,7,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,5,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,5,30,2,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31977071669905205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706024566278566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7783764089487456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37040106475552137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854018507802197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,babysealBTY,2019/02/17,Gay and Christian I was raised a Christian and I still believe in the religion. Only problem is I'm gay and while I struggled with that in the past I've learned to accept it. Now that I've accepted being gay it's been clashing with what I've been told from my church. I've done a lot of research into what Christianity says about homosexuality and I can say for sure it's a much more complicated issue than what most churches would have you believe. I accept myself as a gay Christian but every once in a while I have a rush of doubt. When this happens it can keep me thinking about death and what happens after it for weeks and it gets debilitating. I think about what happens if homosexuality is a sin and I go to hell and that absolutely horrifies me.,3.3362307692307698,5.350364100000004,4.958000000000002,80.06746153846156,74.66666666666666,7.015384615384615,27.538461538461537,7.882392219407189,1.7180307692307686,605,24,118,9,13,204,85,150,0.191,0.765,0.044,-0.9807,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,6,9,1,2,9,0,12,4,0,0,1,26,22,14,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,15,11,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,5,2,13,4,19,15,4,14,8,0,0,4,4,4,1,4,8,87,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41138082618541905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682935653619206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382051361112647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538368639712727,0.0,0.10375699427639352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4843300030588363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905524438295937,0.0,0.16227387692383094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521187627920058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342077008767219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944278234232644,0.0,0.13885037798382585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428079374092595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746918969875201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903691028333638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457981871141311,0.0,0.0,0.19085859605545386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206717209638292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339630356092609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744505265272547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644417996771994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969030984689306,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VastRhubarb,2019/02/17,"How can I support my husband as he is coming to terms with his childhood? My husband recently told me after talking with a therapist, he realized he is not happy, and he has never been happy. He said that he was robbed of his childhood by his extremely abusive and controlling father, which I knew but he hasnt talked about is in 10 years when we first met at age 18. He also wrote me a letter saying he used to cry at night and he only felt happiness once he met me and that I taught him that life can be good. \[but it seems he lost it again\]

​

The problem is, he is still unhappy, despite what we have built together, despite the fact that we are having our first child, and we have grown a successful business, moved away but he is still unhappy. 

​

He also recently told me he felt nothing when I walked down the isle on our wedding day. He is cut off from his emotions he said. Totally shut down. Obviously this hurt me and brought up the question, does he love me?

​

I have always struggled to make him happy and felt offended when I saw what did make him happy : porn, making money and being the centre of attention in a big group of people. As you can see this has led to him seeking all his happiness outside of me. He travels alot for work and I wonder if thats when he finds his happiness.

​

I try and make the house clean, cook his favorite meal, watch a movie he likes, give him a massage, do kinky things, but these things seem to have lost their lustre. I feel like he is seeking happiness and bored with me. Wich is making me less likely to even try.

​

I am so afraid. I dont know whats going on. Does he love me or is this just a part of his own journey through him realizing his unhappiness stemming from childhood,, or am I a part of his unhappiness? Being pregnant this is scaring the shit out of me, because theres been time when he did say he wanted to leave me. 

​

I want to make him happy but I don't know how. I have no idea. How can I help him.",3.3913166873449154,4.9753023895781645,4.283845378411911,86.78038345223325,73.49131513647644,7.121867245657568,26.7376705955335,7.756953410329674,1.4769281017369733,1585,57,320,21,32,511,200,403,0.155,0.7040000000000001,0.141,-0.1841,0,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,6,1,1,7,18,28,3,3,16,0,38,7,1,12,5,68,76,32,0,4,10,3,4,3,0,0,1,4,1,1,18,20,2,1,16,2,1,9,6,11,0,2,21,11,56,17,39,52,8,46,0,3,3,3,75,14,1,8,26,214,74,3,0.0,0.063029492916178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850829015065749,0.04426398767467697,0.3458321741291265,0.3878395079116746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049980131823136716,0.0,0.0,0.032428267149861245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045824320998308736,0.0,0.0,0.05966471920602949,0.0,0.0,0.05843417177883922,0.034307526277887614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310573228727467,0.0,0.06234623730865986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598392244517118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0351359756144143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02689789351804146,0.03800379473393172,0.1532317715413752,0.0,0.0486208989013246,0.09049831843568104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051031204725040184,0.03023295955242969,0.04461894041112485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5096607134835266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03565668449048191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06138194900771422,0.056948259934283124,0.060052696553358126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584711250255668,0.0,0.0,0.05632771564061265,0.0,0.0,0.03757446335187213,0.07796778808067692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614115252029825,0.0,0.09602435308313924,0.0,0.21305560745337054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056539765010459514,0.0,0.0,0.041028641042171785,0.0,0.0,0.049921580256624805,0.0,0.05104375114249125,0.0,0.0,0.05665284121245856,0.0,0.04045855309033045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521387106292501,0.0,0.036879953493185326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090214006866745,0.0,0.0,0.059592575268557366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505081744884184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120465135098593,0.08460843919448129,0.05325926330145107,0.0,0.04239095123871769,0.09685671256052386,0.0,0.0,0.054605736638345205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496604444992052,0.0,0.0,0.05561283126038739,0.0,0.0,0.06036708263831081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551512347595366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061765568990724676,0.07068316203565543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031019473865891895,0.0,0.0,0.10166361794076206,0.0,0.07223425188463801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0459449432786436,0.0,0.0,0.0627536856356451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768964547685657,0.03872789396852455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3878395079116746,0.034256986226803315
mentalhealth,Mertda1,2019/02/17,"porn addiction ,severe depression,anhedonia i was watching porn from 14 and now im 19 and it maybe causes depression but i doubt that since my father had depression and schizophrenia . let me tell you my story . so back in 2014 when i was 14 and half year i failed in school for the second time . back than my family was apart and we lived spread form each other . my father and mother had issues. and they want to divorce. i didn't really paid attation. my friend teach me how to masturbate. i siad to myself this is good i was masturbate 4 times a day it was feels good . when i had nothing to enjoy i was a teenager and i dont really blame myself . i had no real friends in that time my father was so disappointment at me because i failed in school and he always told me that i am a loser and will be nothing . i mean this is his way to support me i know that he want to help but it stupid of him . anyways so everytime i was hear anything about my life or think about it . i would go to watch porn i would watch 4 times a day back than . it was an escape plan . no one really helped me . i don't a regular human being watch pron 4 times a day and masturbate because his life is good so i think i had depression back than before the addiction . so i spent 3 years watching porn . i thought it was good since i didn't know it can become addiction. it gave me pleasure when nothing does . back than life was so easy just watch porn for 30 min or so and fap and thats it . but when i wanted to quit porn for good at the start of 2017 i realized it was so much harder than i thought it would be . i didn't know about depression or addiction back than i thought that depression is not a real thing . so when i got to mid of 2017 and keept failing i realized something is wrong it has to be . so i search and search and i know about addiction and depression and porn and what it can cause to brain . so i got to realign and i started to learn more about my religion and i really liked it and started to got involved in it . it was a good days i really liked me back than because for the first time a think im doing the right thing . i didn't stop tho i keept watching porn but always promise myself this is the last i would not make it a big deal if it isn't forbidden in my religion . at the started i was always saying that i love porn and it can't be forbidden if i love it . the denial part ends and i knew i must do something about this . i started fasting it worked i fast for a month before Ramadan so i will link the two month togther and not have a single day to rest without fasting so i don't relapse. Ramadan came and i relapse at the first of it . such a disappointment i had so much hope back than . than the dark days came of giving up . but than i back to it and started again than keept failing . i started to find help on the internets i find out nofap and went to be a part of it . after i did 32 days or so which was the most i ever did in my whole life (which was the days i fast before Ramadan) . than i was do 10 or 12 and than relapse but everytime i relapse i got so disappointment that i give up a much of time than i know i can't life like this than bcak to trying and again . 2018 came out and i had plan to quit i knew it it was the last i had hopes but than again . i started to feel numb and anhedonia but i didn't know about these things . i got so much addictive to pleasure . not only porn but anything i can put my hands on . (music video games tv shows movies youtube videos) . all this time and still alone i was shy to told anybody about my addiction or depression. and since i live in place that we don't know that mental illness was a thing so i didn't believe that a therapy can help me . i did good at school tho there was i time i would love the day come and watch porn again back when i could control when to watch . i was getting excited for the day come and watch porn . anyway from last year everytime i try i knew that im gonna fail agian and i knew that porn gonna make me what am today i don't care anymore about my religion or my family or myself . i had an idea back an year ago that i will become my worst nightmares that i will become what im today . i know god always helped me throw the way and my family although the didn't know but they wad helpful but i keep relapsing . can a person really suck that much. its ironic really because i was always say about my father that he was a horrible human being and ask the same question how can a person suck at life that much be such a loser . i mean at least when he was like that he was 68 year old but im just 19 and worst than him . since he went to war and jail and had a really hard life . i went to therapy 2 actually back in 6 months i guess . they gave me pills and it didn't help at all . one of them tell me to come once a week but i told him i have no money and i don't want my mom to spend on me so he told me there is free session i went once but didn't change a thing . infact they told me its ok to watch porn at your age and its not a big deal and i took that to my advantage and watched more and become more addictive more than ever . i think therapy is just a waste of time and money . because where i live there isn't much therapy and most of them just greedy.",0.8323544838639165,2.7814822497753835,2.633209004152402,94.04301231150292,82.2973944294699,6.059328331026442,19.73053107015371,7.222845823187471,0.29224668172215384,4076,108,939,57,111,1350,322,1113,0.142,0.736,0.122,-0.9843,0,1,2,0,1,0,66.0,2,2,6,16,73,54,4,1,49,1,100,37,2,7,5,160,182,106,1,15,34,6,4,4,2,12,18,3,0,4,68,61,0,3,32,5,6,14,28,26,0,7,77,19,152,29,103,83,26,131,3,17,12,17,65,32,2,17,87,651,220,12,0.0,0.0,0.032984618672715814,0.29478211819515104,0.0,0.0,0.0299622913809918,0.0,0.0,0.035007343416414434,0.0,0.0,0.14062449868837798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03352122334682483,0.0,0.0,0.05563021121560255,0.0,0.031599102549292525,0.0,0.0,0.3118879295681511,0.0,0.10302300020499254,0.1493209213303414,0.08628574799626335,0.03808182717944016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0377327726690472,0.0,0.1159770282419892,0.034462078136236814,0.06944528321624709,0.035756671017603416,0.08734896027195099,0.0,0.0,0.037910372149008886,0.02698711779288696,0.0,0.0,0.21798662694036225,0.06969409887118427,0.20378752337447092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029579230466401662,0.0,0.03961418221545682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029937397860731782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06114935746917913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559290802152963,0.0,0.03418131072643405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178647603129196,0.057501735974137866,0.0,0.0,0.052228691812173926,0.0,0.017659476717935885,0.0648494449679076,0.019209723318076355,0.19845303235693088,0.1351675839472848,0.0,0.03723529451085498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030278798422704794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03809585849064569,0.0,0.15859133129853925,0.0,0.0,0.06714346650218249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03815688911612684,0.1825528435879623,0.035279161169596424,0.0,0.030043625484702307,0.0,0.0,0.16718388398279865,0.08265627373037761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034563517639856614,0.16712109527155414,0.06605328131614553,0.0,0.0895399426995123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151938555629106,0.0,0.045124474868190885,0.0,0.033957357887897166,0.07363776781712035,0.0,0.0,0.03406316724173915,0.0,0.0,0.03958698486402105,0.08093821647225585,0.0,0.17393188510169466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729808306033334,0.0,0.035468160892055234,0.07199330935411394,0.045808473846660334,0.025706964260880347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320575353151113,0.0,0.0,0.05902695516247442,0.035314549466982884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033979050938435604,0.03786453260506637,0.07190243471485723,0.0,0.07694521934885866,0.17322881074360466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02886562298952908,0.0,0.05375936498977832,0.0,0.1026243739021662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03818518307440296,0.0,0.11184119156219216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05204287822672528,0.0,0.0,0.1913945409160228,0.0,0.026993291915134054,0.028258908361048624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0383566469233809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590866234627541,0.0,0.15461623772696648,0.0,0.11227845421459733,0.0866325246226546,0.0,0.08050196821101893,0.1970946672960424,0.0,0.06407824469357977,0.16149014197319253,0.03755383423424069,0.04589692882649382,0.0,0.03301838376005567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974614170073242,0.05365886308771994,0.027112891987104527,0.0,0.0,0.12533439300921478,0.0,0.03773728736536108,0.0,0.032582679764034124,0.0,0.024607320581268285,0.0,0.0,0.12005527851731655,0.03695577196785209,0.0,0.10883275022857596
mentalhealth,oatmealraisin02,2019/02/17,"any way to ""tough through"" depression? I haven't seen a doctor about this, but I'm pretty sure I've been struggling with depression for a while now. I've been increasingly spaced out, my concentration is worse than it used to be, and my motivation has definitely gone down. This has been on and off for several years now. Generally it gets better just as I'm about to go see a doctor. is it possible to work through this by myself? there's a stigma against it in my family and therapy is expensive if I go every week, even with insurance.",4.2865,5.856321114285718,5.711607142857144,77.49026785714288,71.19047619047619,10.202380952380953,28.36309523809524,10.411451182825502,3.075595238095238,427,16,84,13,8,144,70,105,0.14,0.706,0.154,0.3839,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,7,6,0,1,4,0,10,2,0,2,1,13,19,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,4,0,0,5,2,6,2,21,13,1,16,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,1,5,59,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402472096690452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18239853701664424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.355260661700318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4221815390248754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362166003194249,0.0,0.17376230058168085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944204715175119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774953481320024,0.0,0.23441677060688626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324995347391324,0.0,0.20981564283890644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434298923169072,0.0,0.0,0.2329874083327152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21560211936508894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19437451466088976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358482637360261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812125224489708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370013757074725,0.165429675279332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014189763267552,0.0,0.2101715900237731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280889798574888
mentalhealth,undergroundofvelvet,2019/02/17,"In need of some reassurance ASAP Hey so I suffer with Tourette’s. With Tourette’s comes a casserole of mental disorders, mine including AD/HD (though not diagnosed, unlike my Tourette’s, but quite clear), anxiety/depression, bipolar and OCD. 

Recently losing my shit a lot and worrying about growing older with these issues. I’m 22 and really need to know if I can go on to live a normal life (be successful, follow dreams, start a family etc). 

Anything right now would be appreciated cos my shit has well n truly been lost. Thank you ",3.4025046382189217,6.317530122448982,4.621280148423008,77.79839517625234,79.40816326530613,8.461595547309832,26.25602968460111,9.095868883498916,2.831436734693877,424,17,72,12,11,139,78,98,0.184,0.593,0.223,0.5796,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,4,5,9,2,0,4,0,6,5,2,1,1,19,16,7,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,5,1,0,2,0,7,4,10,11,3,11,0,3,0,0,3,3,2,3,4,41,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257487750615187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15971246105982506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596915249400177,0.18818508311184176,0.0,0.0,0.21249347959584955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067787830631102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478603697686554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053715640526109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351764360949536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018953153622796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095906025866014,0.0,0.0,0.16371854418382778,0.0,0.0,0.20742397868233525,0.2023945897640899,0.1576271390390568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868475224455832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27495516950408955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166034472260195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972040898154371,0.0,0.0,0.1187770278154586,0.0,0.18306790177774998,0.0,0.0,0.1583373061337911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38063702402995336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312326431874938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17069865442812368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216228884294214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670393983038787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18829068976282945,0.0,0.13170842974336255,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,awkardfrog,2019/02/17,"I'm done(18F) Sooo. Hello. 

I don't know what to do anymore. Everything is just too much.  

And I cant even put words for it. At least this subreddit makes me feel lonley.

So thanks",-1.5504729729729725,-0.2677986486486468,0.246182432432434,101.5352195945946,116.56756756756758,4.012162162162162,15.435810810810812,5.985473137389443,-0.4816999999999996,138,4,32,2,8,44,34,37,0.0,0.907,0.093,0.4927,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,6,9,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,3,9,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838099549166095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960456254878823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556164734071464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478196584683047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956838984241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21269059011203548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583321987626165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844969004039544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890519708620793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563068371942846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RyanHallWannabe,2019/02/17,"How I’m dealing with narcissism Hi there, I’m a 25 year old male, and have recently identified the origins of the mixture of narcissism and anxiety that have plagued me for the entirety of my adult life. I wanted share my little experience in the hopes that it might help others organise their thoughts a little. Please remove this if it isn’t appropriate for this board. 

For whatever confluence of factors, I acted out a fair bit as a teenager - lying, stealing, staying up way to late playing video games, etc. My behaviour obviously stung my parents, who did their best to try and straighten me out, but due to cultural differences and a slew of other indiscernible factors I interpreted their responses as too harsh, and developed something of a victim mentality/chip on my shoulder, erecting some barriers in the process that have literally stuck with me ever since and have impacted the majority of my interpersonal relationships. I blamed my parents for being too stern, never showing support (aside from, y’know, clothing, feeding and putting up with me...), and just generally being too hard on me, all the while erecting barriers against what was perceived as a constant stream of unwarranted emotional abuse. This mentality led me to normalise a particular perception of myself as lacking/lesser/lower, and ever since I’ve consistently sought approval, assumed the worst of just about every social cue, and just broadly assumed myself to be an annoyance in the lives of those I care about. 

As a simple example, when debating politics or philosophy with my dad, I’d anger quickly, assuming that a point he was making was being made to undercut me specifically - “He’s only contesting my points because he thinks I’m a moron.”

Having entered my tumultuous phase around the same time as I joined my current group of friends, my perception of and interactions with them have been heavily characterised by the above problems - validation seeking, insecurity, and a general expectation of imminent rejection. I’ve always struggled to engage in conversations with my close friends because I spend far longer looking for cues to confirm that my presence is an annoyance than I do listening to what is being said - a self fulfilling prophecy of social exclusion. 

This has had obvious implications on my romantic relationships, which have all ended in much the same way - with my quickly becoming bored of otherwise amazing, genuine people. Why this pattern exists is unclear, although I suspect it has something to do with a lack of true intimacy in my life (Due to erected barriers), and the expectation and (inevitable disappointment) that a relationship alone would be sufficient in alleviating the anxieties I’ve mentioned above. 

On reflection, it’s clear what needs to be done;

- Understand that your anxiety in certain situations is a self imposed defence mechanism. It is a learned behaviour that is causing you harm, but it can be unlearned and replaced by something genuine and enjoyable. 
- Accept that, by and large, people don’t mean others harm. If you expect to be the recipient of harm, you will see it where it might not otherwise exist.
- Focus on what makes you happy, rather than seeking validation trying to please others. Note, that pleasing others can make you happy, however the underlying reasoning guiding your behaviour needs to shift. You are doing nice things because it contributes to a common, warm, wellbeing, not because you’re trying to stave off the exclusion that you constantly suspect is imminent. 
- Reject your first impressions, and make the effort to get to know any and everyone you may come across. Situating yourself in an imagined hierarchy of importance vis a vis those you meet is unhealthy, and all sorts of potentially amazing, caring, thoughtful and loving people could be slipping through your fingers because you’re too focused on assessing threats to meaningfully engage with those you meet.
- Focus on the five fundamentals
1. Food - Nutritious, clean, affordable 
2. Sleep - Consistent, no phones 
3. Exercise - Focus on what’s important here, maintaining your body and feeling good when you get out of bed. Looking good is an enjoyable by-product of exercise, but should never be the primary goal. 
4. Socialise - Keeping in mind the previous points, be open minded, relaxed, and courageous. 
5. Problem solve - Whatever vocation you’re pursuing, engage with it fully. Think, read, learn and invest yourself meaningfully in something you’re interested in. 

The key to all of the above is to learn how to relax, to care a little less about what those around you think about you, and focus on enjoying the present with the people who clearly care enough about you to have you around. Yesterday I spent one short day in the golden headspace described above, and I cried when I got into bed. I was simultaneously appalled at all the time I’ve squandered with those I love, (friends and family alike), and stunned at how warm, happy and relaxed it is possible to feel if you’re just willing to drop your barriers and admit your flaws. ",12.231180260119126,10.697802644341806,11.202282727604231,55.3383262428589,54.8891454965358,14.750893399781209,48.77099793363315,13.365165419054232,6.822236027713628,4094,225,585,122,38,1314,428,866,0.131,0.684,0.185,0.9958,6,1,4,0,1,0,126.0,0,22,4,5,30,59,7,2,51,0,57,12,4,12,15,152,99,51,0,17,14,3,6,0,3,7,4,2,3,4,47,52,2,6,29,10,3,6,7,20,0,3,15,11,66,39,122,64,17,86,0,3,3,2,64,48,0,14,28,427,113,5,0.0,0.07599514227831856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642946083579195,0.0,0.0,0.053369428905549784,0.0,0.0,0.043617244791878486,0.0,0.14720025136575274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129398801746576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954950501640864,0.0708373395939212,0.0,0.0,0.06731073419925311,0.0,0.07002401958738964,0.0712448280449208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615790912940543,0.06588921453949999,0.0,0.055250734742623424,0.0,0.1386246161459063,0.0,0.051210389293718836,0.0,0.07045452839283084,0.0413648471545298,0.06612528914830951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701241087750195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563725618912983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214861116017096,0.056808800800991925,0.06627353070335483,0.0715328009950515,0.0,0.11603619271572628,0.05404052471315556,0.06128830133705381,0.0,0.06274100502765181,0.06046526928231249,0.0,0.06486199238851736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455725777942047,0.07755806758335804,0.0,0.14866268753835146,0.0,0.06702076778923177,0.0,0.0,0.107594796276107,0.05129843540132555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048339417144432,0.05745663788451851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042991537543082006,0.0,0.0,0.06370526642553899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701037690181996,0.0,0.0,0.07049908320539205,0.0,0.07235245718708969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060763640457796,0.0,0.19285470670405366,0.056636594271506815,0.0,0.1077225098830526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577729785072755,0.060690603637436426,0.1712551849670853,0.0,0.0,0.06986701554378562,0.0,0.0,0.0646378049117303,0.13608432553812425,0.12952577219704905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715011285334613,0.09511765729220774,0.09893709338999307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730390183768115,0.0,0.043462769841559716,0.048781187285823535,0.0,0.0,0.14243925400998672,0.0,0.0,0.17786576938892126,0.0,0.0,0.21121862839808775,0.18189845064650675,0.07230795639104165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274620016168294,0.0,0.06447818695359256,0.0,0.0,0.06415712970006872,0.0,0.0,0.06594636866260781,0.06333028752980249,0.20658633629052092,0.0,0.0,0.06101161157106269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05111109453131487,0.0,0.1338235423033903,0.0,0.0,0.1061141653385978,0.14419158343220026,0.06418609354337716,0.13076484163946495,0.0,0.19751172203047634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836446348781425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705281652438108,0.0,0.0,0.07278505381800282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04261161487309331,0.12329452923071567,0.0,0.10183962987168743,0.07480083436406561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064008598263616,0.0,0.0,0.0667717652525092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037831299664047066,0.10182233200556023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787616843801285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556305417140975,0.0,0.0,0.041303910627910216
mentalhealth,danr062,2019/02/17,"What could be up with my friend? I have a good friend who recently moved overseas. 

I know that strangers on Reddit cannot diagnose, let alone diagnose somebody that isn't the poster, but I've become increasingly curious about what could be going on with the guy (despite his issues I liked him and consider him a close friend).

Basically, everything he says is kind of far fetched. In fact his brother has told a friend not to believe a word that comes out of his mouth.

The stories he tells ranges from what sound, to me, like exaggerations of real things that probably happened to him to complete fabrications. 

To give  a concrete example, we were having a going away dinner last week during which he pulled out a business card that said ""First Secretary, Embassy of Japan."" 

Of course, making conversation, I was like ""why do you know this guy at the Japanese Embassy?"" He evaded the question, but later added ""I have contacts at every single embassy.""

I'm not clear on what the guy does for a living, but it's something to do with marketing and SEO. And there's simply no way that a regular Joe Blogs in his 20s maintains contacts at every Embassy where I live (there are probably like 90 embassies!). My guess would be that this guy from the Japanese Embassy had eaten at the restaurant where we were in and left his card lying around.

Another time he claimed that the government had sent him to negotiate with Syrian rebels. 

What was weird was that nobody else at the dinner called him out on it. As I told my girlfriend, if the government of the country we live is trying to make contacts with Syrian rebels, they would be sending a *very* senior member of the army / Ministry of Defense / intelligence community to have those conversations. Not our buddy.

Besides having the constant feeling that everything he says is a lie, he also discloses almost *nothing* about his personal life. We talked mostly about common interests, but in the four years I knew him, I never felt like the relationship was anything but superficial. He also ravels the world a lot but has no obvious source of income and never complains about money. Basically literally nothing about the guy adds up.

Any thoughts on what his deal could be? I have one friend who pretty much everybody knows does something intelligence-related and he's uber-discreet about his professional life and just a totally normal guy. So I've never even considered that he really is doing something of that nature. 

Now that he's left, I'm left thinking back on all the times we hung out and wondering ""who the hell was Joe!?""",8.277077251107105,8.385174208955227,7.924744136460558,70.37457561095623,61.70788912579958,11.053337707069053,36.162128915860265,10.64471489884176,3.949815417418403,2060,85,344,45,26,655,241,469,0.053,0.836,0.111,0.9792,1,1,3,0,0,0,63.0,6,1,1,1,18,19,4,0,33,0,38,8,1,2,8,70,62,19,0,7,11,1,2,5,6,2,4,5,0,7,29,26,3,1,10,1,1,8,10,6,0,3,17,7,36,13,57,34,7,56,1,0,0,0,70,31,1,7,21,236,65,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552658220922764,0.07811687019656252,0.0,0.12063363604998288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051291138101531235,0.07908899761600204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206780584354433,0.06714365413105136,0.0,0.0,0.07086365092540386,0.0579966623481968,0.0,0.0,0.08330025853749944,0.0,0.08497740360467906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701668482358133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497139100410655,0.07908098623845332,0.0815069173321025,0.0,0.1806605961951812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777591834122716,0.0,0.153108236325028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320086976822516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300735843287553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049817065702710966,0.0,0.12709652016616055,0.0,0.13557306810199968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03813681291670409,0.0,0.07241919520883577,0.0,0.0,0.06415590568724179,0.0,0.0,0.2913632927166671,0.0,0.0,0.07235390036054358,0.08573078197338675,0.0632623585136617,0.0,0.0,0.08308841472019231,0.4480917330739777,0.06669749540739121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787234158544225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854284425127721,0.12435373543100545,0.06148090444075158,0.0,0.0,0.2458463006479488,0.07712649854325393,0.1065488848288252,0.1842426152298013,0.0,0.19980322408542986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412307728154701,0.0,0.0,0.1006926662225304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016413772744055,0.05544556886624028,0.0,0.17451570398281255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389983980330687,0.14474337825616704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110948527022946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658576250656498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673367005380913,0.16264039229340554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449252327946091,0.0,0.0,0.08584941223078478,0.048318764016873614,0.0,0.07447243720230604,0.08097751516344794,0.0,0.0,0.07174582002646443,0.1199609261063509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419602716210636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060623228048765826,0.06592419825305726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050108580530791536,0.048328872032997884,0.0,0.059878501552328135,0.08796107924247955,0.0,0.0,0.1441423795971824,0.0,0.05120817636620464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223298017128205,0.0,0.05986833095071604,0.060500856600760426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805873599550102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179448012559687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715857523712596,0.0,0.0,0.0485708025405565
mentalhealth,yikesbecca,2019/02/17,"i think i just wasn’t made to be happy this is just a useless rant that’s probably full of grammatically offensive sentences. feel free to ignore it, but i need to let it out

honestly, i just think that happiness is not for me. each fucking time i have something going for me, there must be something else that goes against me and im feeling so sick and tired.

this past week has been fucking hell, and how sad is it that i cannot wait to see my psychologist because i NEED to get it all out before i go fucking insane?

and, until therapy, i have nothing to make it feel a bit better. i’ve been wanting to relapse SO fucking badly, but if i did my boyfriend would eventually see and be disappointed. he’s the only other person close to me aside from like one friend, and i don’t want to fuck up yet ANOTHER relationship.

and talking about fuck ups, how did i even fuck up my last 3 friendships??? the first one and the second one abandoned me, and the most recent one - happened just this week - told me that basically our friendship was toxic. when asked to elaborate, she didn’t know what to say aside from the fact that she didn’t feel like she could talk with me about issues in our friendship out of fear that i’d do something stupid (i have a history of self harm and suicide attempts that she knows about). when asked what i ever did to give her that impression, since i’ve always fucking tried so hard to balance venting to a friend and also making them feel like they could come to me especially when the problem they had was with me, she didn’t know what the fuck to tell me. just told me that she felt like that and didn’t have any examples from my behavior that made her feel like that.

you know, if i had somewhere to start from to become better, like her telling me what i did to make her feel like that, then it’d be different. i could actually see if i did anything to be toxic and try to improve. but she literally felt like that for months and instead of telling me something, she just drifted away and blamed it on other stuff. and now im left thinking “what the fuck should i do? where did i go wrong this time again?” and without a fucking answer. i genuinely don’t know what i could’ve done better, and now im afraid of being toxic to everyone else in my life too and theyre just not telling me. am i just not worthy of any human relationship because im mentally ill? not even because im being a burden by oversharing and stuff, but solely on the fact that im fucking mentally ill? im trying so hard to get better, and sometimes im starting to feel like im succeeding, but then fucking shit like this happens

im even seriously considering telling my boyfriend that he deserves better and potentially leaving him. it would hurt me so badly because i love him like i’ve never loved anyone else, but because i love him i think i should let him go so he can find someone better. he shouldn’t have to deal with someone like me. but then again, i really really don’t want to because im a selfish bitch and i want to be with him. but i can’t risk hurting the person i love the most. what if he also tells me ive been toxic all along? i don’t want to put him through that, i love him too much to do that 

the solution would just be killing myself so that everyone is happier, but i wouldn’t want to make my mom sad. but maybe it’s better if i just do. im sure my mom would be fine after a while, and she’d even be free to go live with her boyfriend a year and a half earlier, so it’d be a double win!

god i just want to fucking die, im useless and its clear that i either hurt or drive away everyone i care about",4.718287166900417,4.917206783602153,5.531266947171577,84.21363955119214,69.20161290322581,8.512575970079476,29.48036465638149,8.321376580360154,1.8799637447405328,2853,99,606,38,46,934,268,744,0.201,0.606,0.193,-0.9694,1,0,4,0,0,2,64.0,2,1,3,11,45,78,20,3,23,0,71,25,1,8,9,135,146,62,3,27,33,2,12,12,2,9,5,1,0,4,48,38,0,3,21,0,2,9,19,41,0,7,25,16,92,39,73,92,10,53,1,9,3,19,62,16,17,8,40,411,140,1,0.0,0.0,0.034975363234890484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05732360626536679,0.029822342165918638,0.0,0.0,0.04874582416162107,0.037582109830327684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02506065802757924,0.03672304323158021,0.02949385080672176,0.0,0.06701245210830649,0.0,0.06734705439022241,0.0,0.0598509921802124,0.13108898627462473,0.0395832487402468,0.03049780473041978,0.0,0.0,0.2218873702946436,0.03912877305964515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03654199287867102,0.0,0.0,0.03087359842896095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446356337595122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03695019862946534,0.0,0.0,0.03719699884394193,0.03744591402858679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03667749033568427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898209435997724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946898047060405,0.03241997444757196,0.0,0.10274200403059676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040330763475010835,0.14497712044075686,0.12802305324233532,0.06882540505512066,0.0,0.0327577599674637,0.030486089930089413,0.0,0.0,0.0553808878477336,0.4638782288844718,0.03745058379339724,0.03438167522624358,0.10184550825916028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338764362594948,0.07630620528483535,0.06421247331418277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510466517358985,0.0,0.5032835274298509,0.03740838991567716,0.0,0.0,0.03965243577956441,0.0,0.09848558551448827,0.02921496254610145,0.0,0.0379501372900465,0.038941036683723514,0.07329910926813188,0.025315353668900517,0.21011952842124945,0.0,0.03164800388751292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173820211100431,0.06782669348532468,0.09569580991422252,0.0,0.03600681088391038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223801245252091,0.0,0.0,0.0839524136223248,0.028607713075700536,0.0,0.02634704600573207,0.05315086520428984,0.02764256534578544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03439012822774295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971463716418954,0.02725847527939935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03421401350750741,0.0,0.06258945170601106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03864234767328519,0.03429471942885444,0.0,0.03602981319082752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045920953631619035,0.0,0.035388377633236816,0.07695901984839355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028501971425697544,0.0,0.0,0.08568121755349989,0.0,0.037389677482683216,0.0,0.03678997414827142,0.029647805984386787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060735435175215964,0.11036771944097308,0.03544737899889657,0.0,0.05073647853969448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205807711388184,0.03920391996029804,0.0,0.03377944536479232,0.0,0.0,0.057614810744212576,0.18795816363120085,0.0,0.040986975855097696,0.0,0.0,0.09186112007835018,0.0,0.0,0.04179801287829408,0.041193624186941766,0.0,0.06849466935373118,0.0,0.07300046908229274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479784570323003,0.0,0.05749851195834697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03454916581636445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184084930185712,0.03918619041882615,0.0,0.023080242393374605
mentalhealth,trans_plant_22,2019/02/17,Hard to talk When I am having a panic attack I find myself unable to talk out loud. Lately I feel like it is hard to talk in general about anything. Just getting the words yes or no out is difficult. This is scary to me because I’m highly educated and I can’t understand why my mind will think responses to communication but I am unable to get it out. The more stressed I get the more frequently this happens. Does anyone else experience this? Is there a name for this? ,2.576666666666668,4.855314838709682,4.427096774193551,81.727311827957,78.03225806451613,7.574193548387097,24.31182795698925,8.515128840125781,1.7986473118279576,372,13,72,8,9,126,63,93,0.172,0.789,0.039,-0.8537,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,2,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,15,17,4,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,9,1,12,16,2,8,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,4,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130268129499017,0.19089052434396872,0.15331236602352893,0.0,0.0,0.2119477622882974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135692248591714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303593708763064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563313487488795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18224111817396751,0.0,0.0,0.09420092979595338,0.1330956566286384,0.0,0.0,0.17027853430038126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29200854347338817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474806366647424,0.0,0.333783685166552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19684046662400936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101590928388548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101875240908468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18811398978334365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21858767121584569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134106695735632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4492324354868564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937611806842882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394909527993534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811043506746168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sam17Kh,2019/02/17,"Help! What's wrong with me? I am at a point where i think i am no more able to control my mind.

Sometimes for no reason i feel violent and evil like i really want to murder or hurt someone even tho 

a i am very empathic and compassionate person. Sometimes i get so depressed and i am suddenly overwhelmed

by feeling worthless e hopless where only want to sleep all day and listen to sad music .I am suicidal i reguraly self harm

and i  would be probably alredy dead if i

 had a gun or  a rope.Earlier today i had  a headache where i had so many thoughts

inside my head and i just wanted to scream as louad i could,  I went to sleep and after one hour i woke happy and rested.

 Sometimes i am so happy and joyfull like i love with all my all of my

heart everyone and everything.

I have anxiety, my hands shake a lot , i can't sit still , i find it hard to listen and concentrate, in class i keep drawing squares circles and words

that i don't even know the meaning of all over my books . I am scared to take a picture of myself but i find easy doing things that other

people are terriefied of(like touching insects or engaging in life threating activites).I used to be very extroverted but now am so introverted and quiet,

i can't open up with people so i spend most of my time alone wanting to be around people and when i am around them i just want to be alone. I have 0 self esteem,i always 

feel that people are making fun of me and i can't trust almost anyone like everyone is complotting against me. Some days i eat a lot and othes i don't 

have appetite at all. My greatest fear is  that i am going to live an empty lonely sad life  and i will end up blowing my brain off. Is this normal?

Should i seek help? I really want to know what's wrong with my head since i am at a point where can't no longer function like a normal human being and do the 

stuff that i used to do.

​",2.611509067357513,4.229939823834197,4.093649611398963,87.19778011658032,75.63212435233159,6.897538860103627,24.49773316062177,7.6454224807358475,1.173482124352331,1476,48,305,20,32,490,197,386,0.184,0.6890000000000001,0.127,-0.9619,0,4,0,1,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,1,19,29,4,4,13,0,40,11,7,5,5,72,66,32,3,12,8,0,6,4,0,3,2,4,0,4,12,25,1,2,11,1,1,3,9,18,0,1,6,11,56,11,39,51,12,33,0,7,1,1,11,18,0,9,15,217,68,2,0.0849938374585358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510905088033956,0.17605596561364933,0.0,0.0,0.07072168147986113,0.09209078737627333,0.10327681555122377,0.0,0.0,0.0650200530174165,0.0,0.0,0.05942966735616185,0.0,0.0,0.15132507015611746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488123175342948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532781588243934,0.06786066319914215,0.0,0.0,0.10962798759203478,0.0,0.07320506766034685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869699144548651,0.0,0.0,0.07527931248076082,0.0,0.0,0.11227525609078147,0.0,0.0,0.16243050804503326,0.07638698067345545,0.0,0.0,0.0956416968342256,0.12892631399432758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536565528781646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04440577208081106,0.0,0.04830395651143875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18095504085719386,0.07613778387180929,0.0,0.1744563959103163,0.0,0.0,0.10071810661773692,0.1139391553105103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837018091918795,0.0,0.09098766088372086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755464279640826,0.0,0.0,0.09342078057266788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006732192671607,0.1660947831107247,0.0,0.07505111563517435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445174423977139,0.07671025668729534,0.0,0.056734046491536766,0.08617041087266432,0.0,0.09258320578960323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858195468136272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655182961794732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759402391970635,0.06464164335621582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356961006863175,0.07421334050365515,0.0,0.0,0.16069329766883042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163773215999334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088984573350594,0.08738782061101391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509365859082119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733421787286402,0.0,0.0,0.07030778064778251,0.0,0.17011043798294245,0.0,0.0720150026631898,0.0,0.2521832355998649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787618838540233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097297609292571,0.09296946312160197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390478815523612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646612894679194,0.05446061914269032,0.0,0.06747561303830517,0.049560590124407326,0.0,0.08056421984213051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681477267902895,0.0,0.14025763435607133,0.3007894046846391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879013884088235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060377183538215036,0.18585483740955144,0.10327681555122377,0.0
mentalhealth,SuzuAyaGT,2019/02/17,"Sometimes I feel like I'm not really ""here"" I don't know how to actually explain about this. Also my mother language is not English, so it may sound really bad and I'm really sorry about that if you can't understand my story.

So basically there was one time I went to my friend's new house, which was in construction, I just stood in the yard watching 2 guys installing the automatic gate and I suddenly felt like *Wait what the hell am i looking at. Why am I here.* And there were some really weird feelings just popped up in my mind. I don't know how to describe it. It's like a little bit of dizzy, light-headed and the color was just like dancing in front of my eyes for a short moment. Then it turned back to normal.

Other time when I was resting on the bed, some stupid old memory came back and I was like seeing those memories just right in front of my eyes. So when things turned back to normal, I found that the bed, which I was lying on, was really ... strange. I got panic a little because I couldn't remember why was I there. My mind was just like racing until 30 seconds later, when I finally remembered what I was doing there.

Anyone has experienced this weird thing? Can someone explain it for me please?",2.9188882329791426,4.835248995867769,4.2637898465171205,85.01849862258955,75.5702479338843,7.419441164895709,22.680834317197966,8.269060116576782,1.2907892168437622,955,27,190,17,21,315,132,242,0.117,0.812,0.07200000000000001,-0.8967,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,0,25,13,2,1,9,0,22,2,2,2,0,36,42,17,0,4,8,1,3,6,1,1,0,1,4,1,17,6,0,1,11,2,0,5,6,6,0,2,17,11,26,7,22,23,4,34,1,0,6,0,6,13,1,4,22,133,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.10862252291723083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901458282850082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783055411433343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567716040108977,0.09293921732925332,0.0678535550876344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152171286542862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730900962340946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256338127062457,0.07951990057319544,0.10687507500179004,0.12193468618729113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204569169882393,0.08599784538357591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902479140755093,0.0,0.0,0.1102144199979558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423619352533393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843681838235765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234615203530022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32628271989648105,0.22312376458755365,0.0,0.0,0.09347238270729788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22478277868580546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075039109926645,0.0,0.0,0.21812037261179226,0.0,0.0,0.1168011416944506,0.0,0.07542655032007597,0.0,0.0,0.13059832545933175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218497625655905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565402455388719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521851082776153,0.09505814894546144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869967463265646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431261878399393,0.0,0.11008845603131208,0.12460245437401382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789886264320656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981153565942158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24214667670146206,0.0,0.1158776564433968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318550376498654,0.20087995987999416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Myrga16,2019/02/17,"Brother with bipolar disorder is in a lot of pain. How can we help him ? Hi everyone,

​

My brother is bipolar with delusion  and sometimes skizophrenic behavior.

He is so stuck up in his delusion  that we don't konw how to help him without hurting him more than he is.

​

To explain more about the background, I live in France and so do my brother.

We are three siblings and we are triplets. We were prematured babies and my brother and I had to be reanimated.

I'm fine myself but the reanimation caused lesions to my brother's brain. He is almost blind and has severe dispraxie.

He is really eloquent and has a really good memory but he has trouble with everyday life tasks (like things requiring fine motor skill).

He also has dyscalculia so he can't understrand mathematics and has trouble with time, direction, duration, etc.

​

My parents learned that he was handicapped when we were 3 or 4. 

They moved out to a place near a school that has a specialized class for visual impaired children.

When he was 11, he was sent to a specialized school from 2 hours drive because he was too old to continue with his current class.

He spent nearly 8 years there, going for the week and returning home the weekend.

​

My brother, my sister and I, really connect to each other and we are really close but for him it's not enough, he wanted to have a life without us because we couldn't always be around.

When we were 19, he had a great opportunity and he was really exciting about the idea that, after all, he could have a ""normal"" life, like us (his sisters).

He dreamed a lot of his life and made stories up in his head and, unfortunately, his opportunity was a dead end after all.

He was really shocked but he reacted really strangely to this event.

Instead of being sad, he was euphoric like really really much. Almost like it was no big deal. He started doing things that he never done before, speaking in a different way and in a different manner.

I couldn't recognize my brother. His state lasted for 3 weeks and then he became really really depressed. 

He was always complaining that his life was a mess, that we were (his family) responsible for that because we made by choices for him all his life, etc. That he hated all the school he's been. That the teacher destroyed his chance to have a good life. Sometimes he resent me, because I had been reanimated like him but with no further prejudice. 

​

It was only 3 years later that he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

It was difficult but at least we knew what he had and he also knew more about his condition and it was a good beginning to find a treatment.

2 years ago, he begin to develop a belief that there was a conspiracy against him, we tried many things but now it's worse than ever.

He believe that everyone he knows (except his close family) is in a conspiracy against him. 

He won't go to a psychiatrist center (he went twice already, because he tried to jump out a window) because he knows everybody there are in the conspiracy. He won't take is meds because he knows that someone might try to poison him.

He is in so much pain because he thinks his life is a joke and everyone is in a conspiracty against him since he is 3.

We can't persuade him otherwise. He his in a fury if we don't believe him.

He is in a lot of pain, because he can't understand why so much people are mad at him. He think he must has done something but he don't know what so he elaborate some theories and he does that everyday non stop.

He barely sleeps, he cries and screams a lot. Sometimes he wakes up really fine and for some amount of time (to one week to even 3 months), he is really well. He still think there is a conspiracy against him but it doesn't affect him at all. We really cherish those moments but we know that it won't lasts forever.

​

We are always here for him and we try to reassure him in the best way possible without him feeling like we don't believe him.

The thing is that does not work a all. We really don't know what to do more to help him.

We don't want to force him to take his meds or to go see a psychiatrist because we are the only persons he trusts.

We are really afraid that he would commit suicide because he already tried once.

My parents are so tired, I fear for their health too. My father is 73 and I can tell that this situation makes him sick even if he won't show it.

​

Have you ever been in a similar situation or do you know if we could try something to help him ?

Thank you for you reply and for all of you suffering from mental health issues, take care !

 

(in advance, I'm sorry for all the mistakes I've done writing this, English is not my native language)",4.565247309009288,5.9879325565312875,5.567061946032737,79.36729000442355,70.30625686059275,8.86361387355211,30.281976506053706,9.292989375938378,2.7101772072677237,3713,152,699,78,67,1224,331,911,0.159,0.736,0.105,-0.9961,5,0,2,0,0,2,127.0,27,5,2,7,33,49,6,2,43,0,98,25,4,8,13,147,137,56,2,13,23,12,1,6,0,7,21,2,2,2,40,63,0,2,19,4,2,9,25,23,1,3,38,5,93,26,94,85,28,83,1,4,2,0,159,32,0,15,45,475,133,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03371373746038199,0.0,0.07616860914322299,0.0,0.08394016912062506,0.060829551695868574,0.09493888239039358,0.2884592755858565,0.32349767275847674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03385721025868794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550285204051527,0.0,0.03236306838183717,0.12854965335065632,0.03991302392151205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04245712636729673,0.0,0.0,0.03877692262753101,0.03907011010011957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607321110733873,0.0,0.04177718918943407,0.0,0.03921009448181987,0.03275755121369945,0.03860243992288199,0.0,0.0794722562518597,0.08717765132561417,0.0,0.06656543036338286,0.11676212156581513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033685727132472185,0.039297996787493295,0.08483313787178781,0.050240544390852224,0.06880559825590722,0.0,0.10902576534673177,0.0,0.0,0.07170778236177329,0.04279741665902885,0.019230500785627682,0.027170603675619045,0.0,0.0,0.03476124380865375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484466362039297,0.0957001969006778,0.0,0.04193124033422349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037549465956722164,0.0390325731963304,0.08085406795848725,0.0,0.0,0.10197020055078557,0.0,0.038149948515589935,0.0,0.03745459691402602,0.0,0.04071484470231119,0.042934344560246536,0.0,0.03969630901623338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463126304836007,0.062003533631994574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149092445542045,0.11148528110079932,0.0,0.033583614394993584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933633345114087,0.0,0.07197501389960728,0.025387155464834055,0.03855923828065555,0.0,0.0,0.08449162113202709,0.0,0.038328065863000894,0.04034673670671575,0.0,0.0,0.030357377611294395,0.0404227935069919,0.0838753404463004,0.0,0.02933320087929958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03726401916434897,0.0,0.0,0.03990897255861865,0.04050363671465498,0.02577197519857976,0.057851239277685325,0.121408580184745,0.0,0.08446173437707079,0.0,0.0,0.02636711957198103,0.033208729668383744,0.03973612812592985,0.0,0.0,0.04287621027291245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898360490338952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154735181892214,0.0303071770491202,0.0,0.0,0.04296618107998753,0.0,0.03146108321321605,0.08550080737158218,0.038060216063631185,0.0,0.03222502503295911,0.05855893699543775,0.11284608455971297,0.04257454901731764,0.026919775684640657,0.0,0.030373002693499518,0.03179708138095848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041601654733059636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857876826441216,0.0,0.03324229922060452,0.035015445664002234,0.0,0.0,0.10106907458352482,0.07310955010548267,0.0,0.0,0.044354403897664485,0.043713050438937216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493044130221967,0.0,0.0,0.039593433283848484,0.0914974290384974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044865401824416784,0.0603772521787047,0.0915227320856539,0.0,0.034196009140563706,0.035256739604281995,0.03431864059770573,0.0,0.0,0.10998663927458134,0.0,0.027688294434204657,0.0,0.038758620731703886,0.027017373866363284,0.0,0.32349767275847674,0.07347553072576954
mentalhealth,Laurenamy_p,2019/02/17,"Struggling and denied help Hi I’ve posted before and everyone was so helpful, I really appreciate that and just needed to ask for some advice.
I live in the UK and am under a mental health service in my area, I was discharged from their crisis team who were seeing me several times a week and told to wait for an outpatient appt.
This was three months ago, I am still waiting but was told if ever I needed help or wanted to be seen by crisis team I could ring and someone would see me within 4 hours.
I just rang, having had a horrible week MH wise, and not being able to go into work again. I was told “your outpatients dept will be open tomorrow just ring them and chase your appointment” and that was it. I explained how I was told no I was told I could call whenever I felt I was in a crisis and get help, and was told no just ring tomorrow.
What do I do now? My local a&e is disastrous with MH, it’s almost 4 o’clock in the evening in the uk now on a Sunday, no where else is really open for help. 
My moms supportive and just as angry as me that crisis team have denied me help.
I just don’t know where to turn",4.134666666666668,4.613024582608698,5.370869565217394,83.86644927536234,70.56521739130434,8.568115942028987,24.89855072463768,8.648137234880735,1.5053855072463769,874,22,183,14,15,292,128,230,0.193,0.701,0.106,-0.9792,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,2,4,16,3,0,1,9,0,28,1,0,1,1,41,50,19,0,7,10,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,8,16,0,2,3,3,0,1,5,1,0,1,20,8,27,2,22,23,1,32,0,0,3,0,25,15,0,4,15,131,35,6,0.1068854848389722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444725873852964,0.0947475332086282,0.0,0.10703037348993424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158103781667425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992349984458493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095167511002143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914203053421546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17067872458572153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928910733711046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705968546751253,0.0966840403463419,0.0,0.10213366124046193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262682732775832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055843254292664235,0.0,0.060745484210952626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361427219322386,0.0,0.0,0.42985852462943897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526067212505533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874146717058267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943818413456722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771542898335247,0.0,0.0,0.12518298802116315,0.08531497425146031,0.0,0.0,0.15850846533407434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236674859877284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694715709421118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703477858125763,0.0,0.0,0.12075017412435905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056372444755267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535888626201259,0.0,0.0,0.11173991608051953,0.0,0.0,0.12129238154496452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062325785759904585,0.0,0.0,0.6128019674427715,0.0,0.0,0.11626071456518387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304382826544698,0.0,0.17147417740953172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781390596275223,0.0,0.0,0.07592838173522917,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lukub5,2019/02/17,"Question: Do you find living with others who also struggle with their mental health problematic? I want to ask the community about this because it is in my experience, but I have never heard anyone else talk about this problem.   
For context I get depressed and stressed frequently.  
   
I find that my mood is affected by the moods of the people with which I live. If I live in a happy environment then I feel better and struggle less. If I live with someone who is often miserable, my empathy with that person bleeds into my own mood and makes me really depressed.   
This seems pretty obvious, but I find that it sometimes seems to go beyond this. If someone who I am with has particular coping habits then I can start to imitate those behaviours. This can go for good positive things, but it also enables bad behaviour within myself.  
Furthermore, I find myself internalizing the philosophies, ethical priorities and attitudes of those around me. If everyone else thinks its okay to sleep until 12 or stay at home all day or not tidy up, then I find it much harder to go against the grain of my inertia and apathy. Same goes for more subtle things. 

  
All this raises questions about whom I should surround myself with, and also (and warning: this is a more caustic idea so don't think about it too hard) whom I should inflict myself upon.   


Am I uncommonly impressionable, or is this experience similar to others?   


TL;DR: I am impressionable when it comes to the mood and habits of those around me. Is this unusual? Do you have a similar experience? ",5.9604915514592935,7.8730454587813625,6.551285202252946,71.75645161290325,67.5304659498208,9.75873015873016,30.848438300051214,10.07000556051586,3.418450281618025,1229,49,201,31,21,401,150,279,0.131,0.764,0.105,-0.8421,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,2,14,16,0,4,9,1,19,3,1,2,4,56,34,27,0,8,11,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,32,19,0,1,13,0,0,4,3,8,0,0,1,3,32,4,38,31,8,25,0,3,0,0,14,11,0,12,9,168,64,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23572249470630585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870189803825652,0.10067344476645476,0.0,0.17493484320200678,0.09185478384030957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820384835411808,0.05989508973963965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689820556406648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463763437521513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336608600339337,0.0,0.16925307907729226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641582143640047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388647706148613,0.0,0.2883355453244667,0.0,0.0,0.049680475944804174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4490146034413134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133397108758387,0.0,0.1675210535104482,0.0824112934453666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459384445124688,0.08801681882336006,0.0,0.0,0.10444004092845256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855737095212737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091747926426357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34704243341120045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558570577217163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901752301431473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222843335969281,0.0,0.07578000161895347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811736544108013,0.08579212334816966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999602472705594,0.0,0.09401637877420743,0.0,0.0,0.2201352682233436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294441013374585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889458798059402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832555426827183,0.0,0.16650160064132544,0.0,0.09717630778192572,0.0,0.06954510874411753,0.10472632611843932,0.0,0.0,0.11255030772073553,0.2054340741442049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897332242605701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055197533813298,0.12591515550704144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795310639434185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beauty_for_ashes613,2019/02/17,"it’s been 9 years since I was raped, why can’t I just get over it? hi everyone, I’m a 26-year-old female who was raped when I was 17 and developed PTSD. I was a virgin planning on saving myself for marriage, I had never been kissed before, and that night I was raped repeatedly in every way imaginable for about three hours and forced to perform oral sex on my attacker. 9 years later I still have horrible emotional flashbacks where out of nowhere I will feel incredibly disgusting, filthy, and shameful. I’m so angry with myself for not being strong enough to just get over it when I know other people who got over it much sooner and I’m still struggling. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I need to grow up, stop wallowing in self-pity, pray more and try harder spiritually (I’m a Christian), and so I try to stop feeling emotions about it and be strong but that makes it worse. why can’t I just let it go? what’s wrong with me?",5.479443907156671,5.393189101063836,6.076518375241778,81.9377272727273,67.56382978723404,9.17678916827853,28.793036750483562,8.841846274778883,1.9887170212765959,733,22,152,11,11,239,113,188,0.222,0.755,0.023,-0.9858,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,4,12,12,5,2,4,0,16,6,0,1,1,27,29,13,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,13,11,0,2,4,0,0,2,4,8,0,1,10,2,17,4,22,15,4,26,2,0,0,6,5,10,0,1,13,98,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17157998550934622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283370574648047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393053148316403,0.0,0.15583779672754064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707269728836199,0.1441153616560913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251865832271685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759487500389507,0.0,0.08571471265898023,0.0,0.12062485676665438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852771992331046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288695110583358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422408401874765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822211619867385,0.0,0.0,0.10067379246359906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087035237958744,0.11183142036487724,0.11632199525883237,0.0,0.0,0.1415347346249114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582606458753218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20911975958310616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17630098423531748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733857666481235,0.0,0.0,0.124760198773535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408907428717077,0.2521852262124403,0.0,0.15767023547164996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182368294012708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20479431177390514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971421855002674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27218391646532225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536988791487046,0.0,0.16489843829944578,0.0,0.2913701907913719
mentalhealth,TheOptimisticRuffian,2019/02/17,"Join us in an experiment to help ourselves and help others We’re 3 Brits who have experienced a range of mental health issues. Our experiences range from mild anxiety and depression to dropping out of school and university due to agoraphobia and extreme anxiety.

In our lives we’ve been trying various things to get better and thought working on something together would be good for us.

Counter intuitively we’re all quite optimistic about the future for humans so our experiment is a YouTube channel that discusses the future and current events. 

* Alex – records the audio, and help script and research
* Seb - does the video and audio editing 
* Joel – helps research and script and find video material 

We’ve found it helpful in motivated us, getting us on track and boosting our moods and have had some great positive feedback.

We thought we’d put the word out and ask if anyone else would like to be involved in our little collective to see if it might help you too.

Getting involved would be as easy as PMing me, hearing about how we’ve done things so far and then saying what you might be interested in helping with. Maybe putting ideas out for topics or getting involved in research and/or script writing. We are very flexible, and any help with anything will just mean we start putting out more videos (we aim to release a video a week at the moment).

Feel free to try us out in getting involved to see if you like the experience and find out it helps you.",7.7056578947368415,8.414640721804513,6.908035714285719,75.14633928571429,62.83458646616542,9.807894736842108,37.30169172932331,9.673873057562805,3.6185721804511273,1176,55,203,21,16,361,152,266,0.024,0.764,0.212,0.9944,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,15,4,0,4,7,9,0,0,12,0,18,1,0,2,1,53,33,27,0,6,5,0,1,2,0,6,1,6,0,1,9,29,0,0,9,5,1,3,0,1,0,0,6,10,20,8,37,16,4,31,0,1,2,0,39,18,0,7,11,126,29,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546917111116264,0.0,0.1230497044868144,0.0,0.0,0.056234981875257495,0.08240484620394034,0.0661828657380933,0.0,0.0751864541142536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112931599308242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926987540390082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038039927646089,0.08230262756817051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718471012470377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31468406023338363,0.0,0.0,0.04066526171889046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470138602120576,0.0,0.0,0.08818178591603629,0.0,0.0,0.2100935357046309,0.0,0.0,0.06745661656445158,0.0,0.08866877058465739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548794103755633,0.09064474258032874,0.0,0.4851642249511872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078995798051756,0.0,0.08394273313077387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785831179386367,0.08060690946057104,0.07101668771202183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079765324654233,0.08760632746485927,0.0,0.0,0.08104941451460644,0.1706362851359524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425478081451816,0.0,0.08554181404295556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395713331905807,0.0,0.0813943240673036,0.12817651504783695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191504125257151,0.0,0.0,0.056925180255726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686150130569644,0.0,0.0,0.12769682365848056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920649812175133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4837064489288935,0.0,0.0,0.06635899102893411,0.0,0.0,0.0645120286600921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058550307777639074,0.0,0.0,0.1713946908840597,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Babybluesb,2019/02/17,"Veterans mental health I saw a video on youtube ''Prisoner of War''. It's about the mental health struggle of a veteran who didn't see an IED on the side of the road. Four people died because of the explosion. 
In the end of the video the veteran commits suicide because of this huge mental burden and feelings of guilt.

First aid is about the physical injuries that need to be fixed right away. But what about the mental injuries? I believe that you cannot afford to wait for a psychologist back on base or back home to limit the damage. 

What if a medic arrived just after the explosion, trying to save his life and the veteran says ''It's all my fault, I killed them because I didn't see the IED''. The medic needs to do something, if he remains silent this will cause even more damage to the veteran. The veteran might even think: the medic agrees that it is my fault because he doesn't say anything. But what can you say? What kind of mental first aid can you give? 

It's crazy that 22 veterans commit suicide every day. We need to get that number down and we all need to do our part to get it down. So any psychologist/psychiatrists/anyone got any ideas for mental first aid?
",4.059058709364386,5.752429144104807,4.521011644832608,85.30884400776323,71.96943231441048,7.534303736050463,26.259340126152352,8.167268648758528,1.6063040271712763,930,31,181,14,18,294,119,229,0.161,0.789,0.05,-0.9839,1,0,1,0,0,3,21.0,3,3,1,4,9,11,2,2,22,0,13,6,0,1,4,27,27,9,5,6,6,0,1,0,0,2,6,3,1,0,17,5,0,2,3,2,0,0,4,9,0,4,4,7,14,2,30,20,4,19,0,2,3,0,15,11,0,4,8,118,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285907062250374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610961594465735,0.0,0.07780430774864787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883022735958912,0.14540195531022967,0.0,0.2305404358670525,0.0,0.0,0.10652234233002424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712604121002304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609751364841153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812508933965937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374077557687946,0.0,0.0,0.12489509685064774,0.0,0.07966011231101626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780591626202094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412654561641427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879404238947098,0.09069831056469116,0.0,0.0,0.07561805047489129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20099855148629345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948385725607184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673230529419657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460249279058577,0.0984563823793699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678149898188637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857391378344161,0.5716881721045741,0.10029966135300017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28042226839494283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238542785075536,0.0,0.0655471391192726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074281097835805,0.0,0.2255632373114275,0.0,0.0,0.1506837897046676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278707064376336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884128482197828,0.0,0.2068386304340583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060582042198797766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419135748549458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LucyDarium,2019/02/17,"Bromazapam, thoughts? experiences? I've been reducing SSRIs(escitalopram) and my doctor gave me some Bromazapam for dealing with the anxiety of reducing. I don't think I will take it because I don't think I need it unless of an emergency. I'm just curious about other people's thoughts and experiences. 

Let me know! ",4.852202380952384,8.013446482142857,6.171428571428574,67.44023809523813,75.25,10.876190476190477,34.333333333333336,10.504223727775694,5.04767619047619,257,14,40,10,6,86,40,56,0.097,0.8590000000000001,0.045,-0.3923,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,12,14,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,7,0,6,8,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,27,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20444301947659504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629111281160746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755196472522176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735383557309637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5228371715607133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687181550759934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732778913041214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981600664598105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527523535801688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093628416404105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34248183147786865,0.0,0.4243281089571015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arfamac,2019/02/17,"How my mental health stopped me going on holiday Last year i had a trip planned to go to Lithuania, i ended up not going due to my mental health. I have wrote about my experience and hope it helps any others going through the same thing.

[https://arfaescapes.wordpress.com](https://arfaescapes.wordpress.com)",9.69,13.09279466666667,6.544166666666667,69.51750000000001,60.66666666666666,7.3000000000000025,26.583333333333336,8.07648339933343,1.7116083333333334,256,7,37,3,4,71,38,48,0.038,0.7979999999999999,0.16399999999999998,0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,7,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,2,0,7,1,7,6,1,12,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,25,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356993974635752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20001547914589013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22090190262353435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5133702042641192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.480086568415551,0.0,0.0,0.151366916035093,0.0,0.0,0.2242969259790867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840789489176088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551605152042766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880128200416613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002926387900584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542502848777322
mentalhealth,ImABabyWidow,2019/02/17,"I think my boyfriend has psychosis My boyfriend goes through periods where he is incredibly upset and anxious and depressed and things from his past come back to haunt him, he has PTSD from a childhood trauma. 
we have been together almost 2 years and during that time he has gone through a breakdown about once every 2 to 3 months
this is incredibly stressful on me as an individual but also on him as the person who has to deal with this on a regular basis
Everytime We try and make any big life decisions such as moving house or moving into a bought house together he starts to freak out and he doesn't want to live with me and he doesn't want to be with me but then when the dust settles and he's calm down the next day he is very regretful of everything he said and he does in fact want to be with me
it's incredibly difficult to keep going through this and I don't really know how to deal with it anymore
please help me",6.659354838709677,6.064661817204307,6.8263655913978525,79.24954838709681,65.23655913978493,10.450752688172043,32.578494623655914,9.888512548439397,2.8321243010752686,742,26,152,14,10,239,111,186,0.142,0.809,0.049,-0.9209,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,2,0,0,0,7,8,0,2,8,0,14,1,0,2,1,35,27,20,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,20,0,1,3,0,1,5,3,7,0,0,4,1,14,1,31,21,0,26,0,2,0,0,21,9,0,2,12,95,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274376668635112,0.0,0.0,0.12198377988494186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373038739598246,0.0,0.0,0.17232338655271473,0.1512757112427462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729153369815445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139711474467405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837374277968887,0.3145178881772321,0.1313798903795971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348615235553032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851899725270033,0.0,0.13709041556890805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669028954140552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224233248504458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35201442471197913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558188991153072,0.0,0.0,0.08383034332923496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077413907059902,0.0,0.0,0.13469296129558356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018196287097558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175357421454434,0.3242453714039952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16222482480137682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624469215305985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561382175991072,0.0,0.13318942050995888,0.0,0.16743981463849286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830758449370127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771910500491947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509761297664428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796647024739603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473061253777833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133880164703576,0.09773954729704216,0.0,0.0,0.08894554852272543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356260689309256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585899593795252,0.2699108154517682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822882373349566
mentalhealth,KazooRat,2019/02/17,"A few reasons why I’m still alive 1) Tobias Forge and his band, Ghost, gave me something to stick around for when I had tickets to their concert. One of my darkest times was the months leading up to it but every night I reminded myself that I was going to see my favorite band live.

2) Dan Lags live streamed every Friday and Saturday. There was just something oddly comforting about being in that chat with so many people I’d gotten to know over the year and Dan was always so involved with us.

3) I had four pet mice that meant everything to me and I knew that they wouldn’t have anyone else if I was gone. My brother might have tried to take care of them but he isn’t very good with small animals.

4) One of my coworkers told me he was worried about me. It was the first time anyone had actually noticed how much pain I was going through. He made me realize that - if nothing else - at least HE would miss me.

5) I became a LaVeyan Satanist. One of the first few pages of the Satanic bible says, “I am mine own redeemer”. I took that to heart. I’d spent so much time just waiting for myself to get better but nothing ever just happens. You have to make an effort. I figured, if I REALLY wanted to improve... I had to make myself improve. 

6) I am a coward. I know that sounds like a bad thing but I have never been more glad to be a coward. If I were braver then I would have been gone way before I had the chance to heal. ",1.484241379310344,3.6041771482758636,2.836206896551726,92.53948275862072,80.9655172413793,5.379310344827586,21.379310344827584,6.48374012150746,0.3015862068965518,1103,33,234,10,29,357,165,290,0.105,0.779,0.116,0.6751,0,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,1,1,3,5,14,9,0,0,12,0,30,3,1,6,2,39,55,18,1,8,11,1,0,1,0,4,2,3,1,0,10,8,0,1,7,5,1,6,3,3,0,6,26,4,39,6,32,23,8,27,1,1,1,0,18,6,0,5,15,161,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.11878675323401115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128555852107124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022692121946836,0.1247223951630048,0.0,0.10836170696370677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016358999787223,0.0,0.0,0.10357963062060464,0.0,0.0,0.10765651615935257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410749422689388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033724556526035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101078916234088,0.2051183548555653,0.0,0.109399237113054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20707968733733392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359666982812201,0.0,0.13835907494455732,0.10209776700133597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764166094449253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424557601712604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379455549952635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946904302465043,0.0,0.21497209923954602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517982883567045,0.16250573984703864,0.1234107845090384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913176326549453,0.0,0.0,0.09716031627436147,0.0,0.1789648348358509,0.0,0.09388238705150148,0.0,0.0,0.11423135158334165,0.0,0.233598241598802,0.13858555028297873,0.0,0.0,0.2474535145991065,0.0,0.12952475891486193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438929441337703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798061953889925,0.12515432372809449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680118612891862,0.0,0.0,0.09699964684630848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874208277150505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721032513706038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152259993022066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086916612025495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129377559898908,0.0,0.0,0.1163141513602686,0.13524176478849734,0.0826437803148143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642106537495975,0.0,0.0,0.10043647531658467,0.07179698929947824,0.09662021852765856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098385380079296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361838742020742,0.0,0.172940932077209,0.0,0.0,0.07838737912028254
mentalhealth,Throwitaway115599,2019/02/17,"A repressed, deeply painful memory just came back to me. I think I just hit on the root of why I've always had a deep mistrust of all people, including myself, and even my own parents.

My parents used to own a cabin in a tiny community in the country. One day (I think I was around 5 years old), the water from the well on our property became unsafe to drink, so we had to go to the general store to fill our water storage containers. I came along, and he told me to not go too far. In the course of running about and playing, I did go too far (as 5-year-olds are wont to do). When I came back, my dad had gone. He was so focused on getting the water properly transported back to our cabin that he forgot me.

I ran around the area frantically looking for him, then just stood in the center of the road and started sobbing. He finally came running down the road (with the dog), but the damage had already been done. I know (and knew even then) perfectly well that it was completely unintentional, but it still deeply scarred me. If you can't trust even your own father to not abandon you, how can you trust or be secure with anyone ever? It also taught me that if you put even one toe out of line of what's expected, everyone will abandon you, even your own parent.
",6.563654606263302,5.477848928853756,7.064822134387352,79.07442383703253,65.6403162055336,10.156156886591669,32.505016722408016,9.265573868473778,2.6071115232593502,981,33,202,15,13,323,144,253,0.071,0.841,0.08800000000000001,0.6426,3,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,4,7,0,1,25,14,0,2,17,0,17,6,1,3,3,43,39,18,0,3,10,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,16,4,6,4,2,1,14,4,7,2,2,21,1,30,7,34,14,5,45,0,4,1,0,22,18,1,3,13,148,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203225359164661,0.08719503421765533,0.0907256299811326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623961842581918,0.0,0.0,0.19412805287671733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25152293125934705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4988267359165674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432083997154532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031838065589129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158038487784068,0.0,0.10681252548128296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600820542929895,0.09862815567482723,0.0,0.1041873571313311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194422171803485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569661462019594,0.0,0.1859008493595896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059922636123958636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915617121328465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22882721511666615,0.0,0.14776950982851655,0.0,0.1160206402797342,0.0,0.3632104929481864,0.0,0.0,0.07559095305501141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961001928198673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717534311906725,0.0,0.08707527625367986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973010475691566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041873571313311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941709986465372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960706336963664,0.0,0.0983868845912802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404295825999321
mentalhealth,virginitymonologue,2019/02/17,"I lost my virginity and do not understand my emotions ​

It is 2:40 in the morning. I am disgusted. I am sickened. I am not sure why I feel this way. To sum it up, I asked a girl to come over. I expected her to just hook up with me and then give me a blowjob, per usual. We had anal sex. This is the first time I have ever had sex. I am heavily under the influence of alcohol and I wish I had never asked the girl over. It is not that I do not find her attractive. She is cute and really cool. She has neat interests and I actually respect her.

I made sure everything was consensual before moving towards anal sex. In the end, I was the one who initiated it, but I still cannot help but feel absolutely horrible. It is probably the hormones rushing throughout my body because my primate brain believes we are in reproductive mode. This was not the right girl. This was not the right time. I am not sure why I did what I did and if I felt what I feel now, before I texted her, I would have never touched my phone. 

I am listening to music and fulfilling my nicotine addiction, while writing this. I took a shower after the girl left. I texted her to make sure she was okay and that I did not push her to do anything she did not want to. She said not to feel bad and that she had a great time. I do not feel I can share this with any friends. It is very odd to have anal sex before vaginal sex I feel. I have searched the internet for people with similar experiences. I am not alone but I very much feel so. 

I do not want to interact with anyone. It is 2:46. Writing is my only outlet at this time. I am late in losing my virginity compared to most of my friends. I do not like it. I wish that the loss of virginity was not so stigmatized in sex ed. Is it the fault of my upbringing? The fault of my sex ed teacher? The fault of the girl? The fault of my own? I have no idea. I do not feel myself. I have experienced heavy depersonalization before, but nothing like this. I want to cry. I want to cheer that I finally lost my virginity. I want to die. I am not sure what is truly happening. I am heartbroken and fine at the same time. 

The rush of emotions is something unparalleled. What is happening? It is 2:52. What is happening? Part of me says “so it goes”, part of me says “what the fuck were you thinking”, and part of me says “cheers!”. I hate myself, am proud of myself, and feel bad for this girl at the same time, even though I know the girl felt fine about the interaction. I am not sure how whoever is reading this is supposed to respond, but my writing is the only way I can think to express myself right now. Hopefully I can sleep tonight. 

I used a condom for a while before taking it off because it became an issue to the girl. I am afraid of STDs. I am afraid of people knowing what happened. I am afraid of anything at this point. I do not want to be right now. I want to float in an empty void and wait until my mind finally rests and is able to understand exactly what is going on. I want to make it very clear I was not raped. I was heavily under the influence of alcohol and the girl was completely sober, but in the end, I was the one who initiated contact. This was all my doing. If you are in the same position, it is fine, everything is fine, it will become better. As of writing this, I already feel better. 

If you made it this far, thanks for reading even though I am not sure what I am hoping the response to this will be. None of this writing will be edited. I want to channel what I am truly feeling and type exactly what I am thinking as I am thinking it. I wanted to be as brutally honest as possible so that you can get the full picture I am trying to express. I just need an outlet right now. I do not believe I did anything wrong, but I feel like I did. It is 3:00. Good night.

​

TL;DR: I do feel strange after losing my virginity.",1.6217780668401076,3.6464468390367593,3.5939235207791365,87.78667075245147,79.97591888466413,6.940971249416318,24.06979187512508,7.9889121714841265,1.3366935361216736,2992,108,639,55,76,1012,268,789,0.14800000000000002,0.732,0.12,-0.9385,2,1,3,0,0,1,109.0,2,4,0,9,19,56,5,4,41,2,98,24,6,8,14,135,161,41,1,20,34,0,16,3,2,4,3,5,1,9,54,23,2,4,25,3,0,7,27,21,0,3,30,23,120,35,80,123,13,68,0,5,0,15,53,30,1,6,32,480,174,4,0.05128744896496554,0.0,0.05004915188634944,0.05591088968360878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962137086866418,0.0,0.05311832964238607,0.0565969752760489,0.0,0.0,0.11113985905174063,0.12463972836693232,0.03487722401774071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03586137680888915,0.0,0.12661560157291413,0.0,0.09589368297109127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564575521514359,0.06252870571230455,0.056642957931583734,0.2182092078503878,0.11556678411383813,0.0,0.09071916155836034,0.0,0.05696879387234453,0.0,0.057253754822648925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044179595982230674,0.05377391445521592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056336854414944036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322827478170846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538295396735795,0.09085091372320367,0.0,0.0,0.06774975267581702,0.04639243385067815,0.0,0.0,0.09218770419182216,0.05016896637760706,0.0,0.0,0.3371221777573505,0.03663976378828825,0.09848798790478216,0.11236578686083916,0.04687579920349902,0.04362507788939424,0.0,0.0,0.07924911169262891,0.04741442013316826,0.026795575272801943,0.049199594410181985,0.029147839166515126,0.043017478875278375,0.0,0.05654459354447485,0.0,0.0,0.1814132869612709,0.0,0.0,0.05063573777954807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03437689594819096,0.0,0.0,0.10188001827419824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057897287151702226,0.0,0.05353077182185758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05637248133696032,0.0,0.05785447635651636,0.0,0.05572396336548543,0.0,0.0,0.07516937080550781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475507314084635,0.11197261810920847,0.0,0.0,0.09705884857857466,0.06846954087536504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178570304638416,0.0,0.0,0.05451044163173863,0.03770217619876135,0.0380289935466158,0.07911208482543654,0.0,0.0,0.0481297965465454,0.0,0.04921169051203221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950740549654506,0.07801283207763841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16661792791092442,0.0,0.07111251884048732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848321684041384,0.05781889262718772,0.0,0.0,0.0552965444549279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260265615407176,0.0,0.03285605309714388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21899600593110188,0.04878610867331884,0.1223575138332308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132448814723983,0.0,0.0,0.03948358389128077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04095822299412013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33836469581217177,0.0,0.038561778819876685,0.0,0.0,0.0472185923208588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145170560130506,0.10077931641495433,0.0,0.17943674360526315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056982242910057226,0.034820811250643235,0.0,0.0,0.1067840862431266,0.0,0.044295888891662895,0.05648587919869726,0.1269525499568095,0.30250666211519384,0.0814191795082834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255789087700116,0.0,0.11795607039384533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03643313223591337,0.05607477420456825,0.12463972836693232,0.0
mentalhealth,RenegadeRoss,2019/02/17,"Feeling utterly miserable I’m not even sure what to write or why i’m writing this. I guess it’s the reassurance others will understand. I’m just at my lowest point i’ve ever felt. My relationship ended last year after 4 years which has destroyed me. I thought i would marry this girl and spend my life with her. I joined Tinder and get no matches while everyone else gets loads because i was born to look hideously unattractive. One of my best friends has been blanking me for over a week now and won’t even tell me what i’ve done wrong so it’s creating massive issues in my mind yet she’s out with friends that i introduced her to. Why just stop talking to me for no reason? When all i’ve ever been is caring and looking out for her. Always been there when she needs me. She’s done this before and just doesn’t care about the anxiety it gives me. 

I care so much about other people and i feel like i constantly get treated awful by others. When all i do is try to be a good friend. 

I’m just so done. I feel so miserable. I don’t know what the point is anymore. 

I don’t even know why i’ve posted this. Just to get it off my chest maybe. Life is just awful. ",1.4145677731673558,3.5034673360995896,2.8681587136929494,92.3846170470263,81.03319502074689,5.8423928077455045,21.24498616874136,6.996647511020387,0.4536762102351313,912,27,198,11,24,297,131,241,0.138,0.7240000000000001,0.138,0.2571,1,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,1,23,16,1,2,5,2,21,3,1,1,5,39,45,15,0,2,8,0,4,1,3,3,2,0,0,1,16,10,0,1,9,0,1,0,7,4,0,1,9,6,31,12,22,32,4,26,0,2,2,0,17,8,0,2,18,132,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899395692155723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268858200756107,0.0,0.10719627147163573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589068294754126,0.0,0.09197665978795212,0.0,0.11343382459982032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306149878672626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680692968348752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33184090595703997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029535562023372,0.0,0.09573568944754364,0.0,0.0,0.2141773489063988,0.19554725243054466,0.0,0.1032846618981826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396071047184324,0.07721954361744697,0.10378338574659272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505302820326445,0.0,0.2258903311155195,0.10368981220703552,0.0,0.09066079425391818,0.0,0.0,0.1190733612975374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112817915351704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880691443798448,0.0881078062690957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526943786543222,0.052807331957266924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153681484672007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859096987447242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091401237807281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945861376932574,0.08014739240320035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324460607182845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493602145034564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20436004441268715,0.0,0.1035203760467159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113455981219034,0.0,0.116048247550579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036811040042128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187358013490876,0.0,0.0,0.08687867689837407,0.09447545609423083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858114151450141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338603951435442,0.0,0.0,0.11252553991540848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670330732741863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926033366241333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678406061969761,0.11817948656951326,0.0,0.13921287916972416
mentalhealth,hooksarchives9303,2019/02/17,"Escaped and dealing with aftermath of being married to an abusive partner  My ex while we were breaking up, we lived together. She lied and manipulated me into giving my cat (who was injured and on pain meds and was going to be put down in less than a week, a horrible situation) to her friend, (threatening me with reporting me for animal abuse) saying that her friend would be able to afford her medical care and my cat won't have to be put down. I said fine, I don't like the ultimatum but I'm glad my cat will be taken care of. Her friend comes to pick my cat up, leaves, and immediately abandons her at a local animal hospital. I get the call, and have to put my cat down that night and then go to work. Radio silence from the ex and her friend. They used my cat to hurt me and put my cat through a traumatic ordeal just to try to fuck me over. One of the very worst nights of my life to have to put my cat down, when I wasn't prepared, and that someone who I had loved would ever be this evil towards myself and my cat, who deserved better.

edit: I forgot to add that I came home the next day to a note and a credit card in my name. The note said, ""Not my card, not my problem. I don't financially support cat killers."" The credit card had been racked up to the limit of $2,000.",5.750275974025973,4.790975640151519,6.693073593073598,80.66318181818184,67.21969696969697,9.815584415584418,30.220779220779214,9.04235418022936,2.1757551948051943,995,30,216,15,14,334,139,264,0.16,0.6940000000000001,0.146,-0.6583,1,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,2,0,1,3,3,21,2,0,15,0,22,6,0,3,1,36,39,17,0,3,4,2,0,1,5,4,4,3,1,1,8,21,0,3,0,1,2,9,6,7,0,1,12,3,38,14,41,17,2,35,0,2,0,2,28,15,1,0,11,148,46,5,0.10995292500173756,0.26055247298341705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972444269343628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227422990076917,0.12575685440854392,0.2242086700351686,0.0,0.0,0.094714708991659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091054044758782,0.1133566376600562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994587155878267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397974284252765,0.10164970740627724,0.0574458651737853,0.10547686468075204,0.12497756228927692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029174879026744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770688031484533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164242716277771,0.0,0.0,0.0776630026230323,0.05371744521908069,0.0,0.09709044720750296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923680766287317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213291256432356,0.1107660043048568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693618312808553,0.2063667433974408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450694758524255,0.0,0.1169976644594682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521009975978564,0.0,0.552665294142053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20918082128624926,0.08743897914864397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235916945489194,0.0,0.0,0.0931627565432442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477327629086013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465081857662652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496402428822934,0.0,0.0907226783282831,0.0,0.0,0.08819760417819789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004703893428143,0.0,0.0,0.15621480643539984,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liyanamoreno,2019/02/17,"1805. Lately, I feel like I'm having a hard time and I know I'm not happy about everything and everyone that evolves around me. I feel like the only thing I could think of is how to end everything in order not to feel this way anymore. What does it take to make the pain go away? Till what extend can one face this phase without hurting themselves?",2.9069047619047623,4.762558071428574,3.457142857142859,91.0561904761905,75.42857142857143,6.3809523809523805,23.095238095238088,7.1686216300943375,0.7245238095238089,275,8,57,3,6,86,53,70,0.105,0.767,0.128,0.1581,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,4,2,1,2,0,14,14,4,0,1,3,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,4,5,3,10,13,0,10,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,6,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756252578410766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733889719641058,0.0,0.0,0.18716410164234448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590527618766336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743297797109206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644069476748803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19035343673088276,0.3580737256244118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021792796099744,0.2846309459745634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321548199679625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206246496128844,0.17845279189859972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21325813922244846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948045941688954,0.0,0.2247172556756757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19464762604468008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297404359924278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498967060100872,0.15150797860431814,0.2119732011353951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497809271831575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323460947487899,0.12764555310543824,0.0,0.0,0.11616079725584595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581234135256837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19203107369907627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oh_daisy,2019/02/17,"Shady friends Hello all x

I’m seeking advice for a friend of mine I believe is shading me constantly and doing more harm than good to my mental health. 

I have a history of eating disorders (from anorexia to binge eating), depression and anxiety and have always had very very bad self-esteem. I’ve gained a lot of weight the past one and a half year since being put on antidepressants and I don’t look my best, not at all. I dread my mirror image and I’m just very unhappy with myself to the point I cry because I feel so so ugly. 

So there’s this friend.. 
let’s begin with the fact she’s also overweight or rather obese, so quite heavy. However she seems to be very confident and likes to look down on me and expresses so verbally. 


Yesterday I was at hers and she got tinder and matched with some dude and he complimented her picture. She then said to me ""Haha I’m gonna tell him it’s only photoshop and then gonna send a picture of you!"" I sat there literally speechless and it hit right in my feelings. I didn’t know what to say for it was so shady and at the same time felt like the truth because I’m so ugly. However those have not been the only incidences she’s indirectly called me ugly or looked down on me. It happens now and then and it disgusts me.

A bit to her persona: 
She was adopted as a kid. She’s got a chronic illness which she likes to talk and let everyone know about. She’s somewhat a hypochondriac and suffers occasionally from anxiety. She’s now going to psychotherapist who has diagnosed her with severe depression (which is a fucking JOKE) and she keeps insisting on how she got all these diagnoses and that she’s SOO ill. It’s ridiculous. She works, showers daily, puts make-up on and has small talks with everyone she meets. Man I’ve worked in a psychiatric ward for a year and I’ve seen severely depressed persons and she is NOT one of them. To be frank she isn’t even depressed to BEGIN WITH. She has somewhat of an attention-seeking behaviour that I feel she has developed in order to survive (considering the attention and the fact her new ""mom"" is not overly-emotional and does care for her but probably not meets her needs). She goes to every doctor there is and makes the biggest scene out it afterward, she lies sometimes and you can’t really tell if it’s legit what she’s telling you. It’s constantly about her, her health and her suffering and how bad her life is. Meanwhile she’s got a boyfriend and let me tell you I’ve NEVER seen anyone treat your SO so poorly. She insults him, calls him fat, tells him to move the fuck out and piss off because she can’t bear his ""ugly fat face anymore"", tinders next to him, when he asks if he may have a look and why she’s doing this she says none of your business, you son of a b****. I’m not kidding you. He’s completely devoted and very very submissive and emotionally dependent. The way she talks about his mom also upsets me, wishing death upon her. He once said to her ""how’d you feel if I talked about your mum like that?"" She was like ""You can’t compare AIDS to Mother Theresa."" Like wtf? She has NO respect, non. I feel like she has no respect for me whatsoever because I’ve always been the one she dumped her emotional issues onto and I’m way too nice to say no. I’m naturally quite a giver and helper and I have a hard time putting her down. However I believe she’s toxic. She also basically gossips about any of her friends and I’m sure she does it about me too. 


What do you make of this? Should I tell her I am hurt? The last time I did that (when she compared me to quite an unconventionally looking woman on TV, mocking the shit out of me, her boyfriend and her found it SO funny, I cried for one day straight after this - and yes, I’m WAY too sensitive. I know.) she was very rude to me, told me she doesn’t need my bullshit and all. I feel like the longer I know her the more I realise she is a toxic person and she’s not doing me any good. I’d like to hear your opinions especially since I’m at such a low point confident-wise that she makes me feel so much worse than I already do. 

X",2.4802738782471785,4.440680391990295,3.8320716347415376,87.42143007084759,76.99757281553399,7.123956966675414,24.97008659144581,8.054147468559826,1.429767895565469,3209,114,666,55,74,1053,337,824,0.16399999999999998,0.722,0.115,-0.9928,4,0,0,0,0,0,93.0,0,13,1,8,36,53,10,2,37,2,48,21,5,6,9,109,106,70,1,8,15,5,10,9,4,4,13,6,1,6,28,51,7,1,15,2,1,6,19,24,0,5,22,23,128,29,79,73,15,64,0,8,7,2,132,29,4,14,34,431,156,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05085562924524597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057430532289667775,0.12485584325480735,0.08660756993601297,0.0,0.0,0.07078178755508459,0.0,0.07962521070080514,0.0,0.05161248079867429,0.03638954111468958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04865299982362314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869071409976534,0.12689924982479864,0.0,0.0,0.11726884509800935,0.0546157157679458,0.0,0.05681726690713141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628305054546833,0.0,0.05306111079795702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456589359058952,0.1124795728932848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143331607668072,0.03356330549431727,0.0,0.17929757563441068,0.10564470840010744,0.0,0.0,0.059645566262778574,0.05326801879954442,0.09108602324511074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650556930866664,0.0,0.17562346126747475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034373783578431745,0.0,0.04384830997307862,0.09945826577425404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842008505629452,0.0743587842659703,0.049969256677782535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057062252305450124,0.16083257615065769,0.09622547400006183,0.0,0.0,0.029577126874039763,0.08730207568573957,0.16649354968706984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602128286797808,0.0,0.046620133341488186,0.0,0.0,0.11063814164987036,0.058656026497425136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571290188812236,0.0,0.0,0.0543191699664387,0.0,0.04625803859866101,0.0,0.0,0.11440546403337785,0.04242183423777273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596518902724396,0.03675937408162098,0.22882938299354474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21851425525112664,0.0,0.0,0.04424493393513949,0.0,0.0,0.13895591271166224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0524469094405178,0.0,0.0,0.12190381448982705,0.0,0.05531326829722698,0.03825745169265282,0.07717816477541466,0.04013862154213828,0.05026326785892752,0.055348116272901315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05542389157799315,0.14106221317553908,0.0791618006049036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04968074860044889,0.0,0.09088354438639516,0.0,0.0,0.0983945497680573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611094879781861,0.0,0.0,0.15695218780999232,0.0,0.1660617958077901,0.0,0.0,0.03333995516727002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044444273315280385,0.0990092553810369,0.12415958829617155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04737781742864119,0.05429199841934525,0.11758711833577308,0.053421194104463415,0.08610069644954149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05147166742664065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904973024175049,0.0,0.0,0.16732014954150856,0.2729262462211502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910397388492235,0.0,0.0,0.04972913288712702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005853663140281,0.0,0.12392747478841484,0.0,0.06337411921706476,0.0,0.0,0.04696053909902738,0.0,0.05984666032482167,0.0,0.0,0.07577556748851963,0.0,0.053036067064300696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702772358063541
mentalhealth,Ilikemykids,2019/02/17,"My Son's Girlfriend Convinces Him He Is Severely Sick I hope I can explain this fully and in a way that makes sense. 

My son's girlfriend regularly convinces him he is sick, injured, abused, medically unique or odd, and somehow different or unhealthy. 

They've been dating off and on since high school (they are 24 now) and moved in together 2 years ago. 

They live about 90 minutes away. 

Prior to living together, she was raised in an abusive/alcoholic home and she would regularly tell him that he had also been abused as a child (never) and been raised in an alcoholic home (we don't drink). 

She would also claim to have severe allergies to foods and a few days later she would be at my house eating that food. 

She has claimed all sorts of wild and untrue medical conditions over the years. 

***I've been a nurse for 25 years and can positively attest to the fact that she does not suffer from the maladies she claims to have.*** 

Since they have moved in together, however, things have taken a scary turn...anytime she is sick, it is CATASTROPHIC! If she has a sore throat, she says she has some ""rare form of strep that doctors have never seen before and she may lose her larynx because of it"".....and convinces my son that he has it too- the slightest tickle in his throat is proof and she convinces him he has it and he needs to be seen by a specialist.

If she is having a bad day, she is ""clinically depressed and needs inpatient hospitalization, but there aren't any qualified doctors in the area to treat her""..... and convinces my son he is too and he needs medication, therapy, and hospitalization, but no hospital is advanced enough for them.

She is on an anti-depressant and now he is on the exact same one. 

When she takes antibiotics, he takes the exact same ones.

She has convinced my son that his regular run of the mill cavity requires oral surgery and possibly having bone removed from his gums and that he needs to see a specialist. She has also convinced him that any dentist we offer to take him to is unqualified to treat him because it is severe and complicated.

Today she convinced him that he needed to go the ER because his knee was a little achy and then planted the idea in his head that he has been complaining of knee pain for years (he used to skateboard) and that it is a severe emergency that requires specialists and tests. She even convinced him he walked with a limp when he hasn't.

She has now upped the ante and convinced my son he has Bipolar 2 and Borderline Personality Disorder. She has told him he hallucinates and hears things that aren't there. She has told him that the only competent doctors to treat him are thousands of miles away and that anything we (his family) offer him is not the right type of treatment. And has told him there is no treatment nearby that can help....noy=thing they can do about it.

***Again, I've been a nurse for 25 years and can positively attest to the fact that he does not suffer from these conditions.***

Since moving in with her he has stopped coming home to visit, but she regularly comes in town to visit her mom. 

He doesn't call and only speaks to me and his father through text. 

He doesn't speak with his siblings unless they initiate it.

He has dropped out of college, because he ""mentally and emotionally can't go to school and the university is not equipped to deal with him"".

He has stopped doing all the things that made him ""him""- he used to play multiple instruments and enjoy music- he no longer plays any type of music. 

He used to enjoy dressing in a fun, colorful, wonky way and enjoy picking out fun clothes and suspenders...now he only wears black  (so does she).

He used to explore and enjoy spirituality...she ""converted"" him to paganism and satanism, because she ""comes from a long line of witches, warlocks and earth workers"". 

​

I have medical knowledge, but I freely admit I have no idea what this is, or how to approach it. 

Has anyone ever had experience with this?

Is there a Reddit board more suited for this type of thing?

What is she doing and how do I get my son back?!

​

TLDR: My son's girlfriend has convinced him he is bipolar, hearing voices, hallucinating and a Satanist. How do I get him back?

​

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mentalhealth,AwkwardPotato1216,2019/02/17,"Social anxiety? Just an FYI, but I am a teenager. You're probably shaking your head right now because you've most likely heard every teenager complain about this, and lol, yeah you're right. I literally get nervous so much during situations I do not want to be in. One of the nervous habits I have is scratching my palm. At the same time, my heart beat seems to increase. The next thing you know I'm not breathing normally. The thing that confuses me is, I am more confident when I'm online. I frequently post on my Instagram story/Snapchat and there, I don't care what people think of me as much as I do in real life. It's probably because I'm behind a screen, but still, you know. I really want to fix this nervousness of mine.",2.177291666666669,4.595759368055557,3.7234444444444463,85.46600000000002,80.31944444444444,7.173333333333334,25.572222222222226,8.238735603445708,1.8708838888888888,575,23,112,12,15,190,96,144,0.163,0.73,0.107,-0.6488,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,0,1,7,8,0,5,7,2,9,5,4,0,0,18,21,8,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,1,3,18,2,14,19,6,15,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,3,7,73,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618051116146646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170318239041466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149752139212685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998479032319584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930051647122558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18269410795535848,0.0,0.0,0.2109478938558312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19566409224676154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257368189886646,0.08696883275076933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617220993897045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893203094730842,0.0,0.17441629343315124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062714890636025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341275491435505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048856545127264,0.0,0.3838592135224099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20261933333769,0.11404056822755253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040466106151783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205760307223285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000956182627832,0.0,0.1814632394767122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216251142613048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23652968419523265,0.11406442487881255,0.0,0.0,0.1038016147848704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20999498350114246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JennyBeanz05,2019/02/17,Deteriorating There is craziness in my head and I just want someone to tell. Are you that person?,1.9800000000000004,4.747337000000002,3.7944444444444434,78.54500000000002,95.66666666666666,4.622222222222223,22.66666666666667,6.42735559955562,0.8215333333333339,78,3,14,1,3,26,18,18,0.138,0.794,0.069,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5375199405699546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4573194369730023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44377278058137226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4577817253192998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089220892638316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sweetbeanjuice,2019/02/17,"Calgary help Hey all, I've been doing my research and I'm kind of getting nowhere quick. I am broke and have dental work and school to pay for so I can't afford a therapist but I really need some help dealing with my mental health issues. I cannot for the life of me find any free therapy short of going to the hospital and getting admitted to day hospital. If anyone knows any free or super low price therapy groups or one on ones please let me know.",2.6992391304347843,4.570590228260869,4.158043478260872,85.73423913043482,76.06521739130434,7.643478260869566,24.54347826086957,8.472884824447931,1.652691304347826,359,12,72,7,8,119,69,92,0.037000000000000005,0.711,0.252,0.972,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,1,16,15,9,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,4,0,4,1,2,2,0,2,1,0,8,6,10,13,2,6,0,2,0,0,6,3,0,4,2,42,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613965734519215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438628332839234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394901786150718,0.1981432353689621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756615332026172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082652095306264,0.0,0.10922809220394374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20429288464817064,0.0,0.0,0.2576467324979627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20060025880145546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20014013254892948,0.21124923031386333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965310498827606,0.1357520735075425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19368601570319874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250917159941082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604708106512184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109709358302372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312418689599812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19451025555045687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395804247418794,0.22315166509081427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991928133673556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FabioAbdilla,2019/02/17,"Guys, what do you think of mental health experts who say........ ""Oh we're all a little mentally ill"" ""Oh we're all a little bit autistic"".",0.68888888888889,2.90671862962963,2.7792592592592613,91.1666666666667,84.92592592592592,5.0814814814814815,20.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.2442444444444449,101,3,21,1,3,34,21,27,0.103,0.897,0.0,-0.3657,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30971356268107364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28089548667072817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30154682620340645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5686593318985693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.571781082007505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255998955099105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177566370386566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chungabunga32,2019/02/17,"Always kind of felt like my soul is muted. If anyone could read this and give some thoughts, it would be appreciated. I think something is screwy with me, and I don't know if it's just stress/anxiety, or something serious. My health insurance is nebulous at best, and I can't afford much out of pocket. 

I often feel like I don't fully exist. Like I could have been a fully real person, but I'm only partly there in the manner someone with a head injury might not be. I have very little to no passion in anything in life, I struggle to take care of myself, I struggle to take care of important things. I don't have the will to go out and socialize, or engage in structured hobbies, or really be ""doing something"".... I spend a lot of my time after work just watching the hours evaporate. It's not a literal ""tired"", it's a fatigue with *existing*, a fatigue with having to engage with the world. I can only be productive, including with personal stuff and my free time, so many hours in a day. It's becoming clearer that my productivity limit is lower than other people.

I have a hard time thinking, be linear or efficient with the thoughts I do manage. The only way I manage to accomplish anything is by overloading myself such that if I'm always dropping the ball on stuff then at least I'm still getting the bare-minimum done even if I'm paradoxically working harder by some inexplicable personal difficulty. I have a hard time being mentally present in the here and now, to the point it's difficult to have productive conversations with people. I rarely manage to do anything by myself without a lot of external structure to my life. I've been called everything from possibly codependent to ""You suck... not a total cocksucker, but you do suck"".

The only thing holding me together is a shitload of 5-hour energy, which puts me at nearly 80% of what anyone else can do. I can't sleep for shit, take forever to wake up unless it's at 2-4 AM for no reason, and that's even if I cut out energy drinks.  I can show up to work at all, put extra makeup effort into things that don't matter enough, drop the ball on things that do matter and/or just miss the point, forget half the stuff I was supposed to be doing while I'm doing it or just scramble them, all while being the least interesting, most detached, poorly socialized, neurotic, textbook space case in the entire crew. 

I've always had this problem, but I still graduated with a difficult college degree many people would have failed. But that also required me to sacrifice all relationships, socializing, friends, hobbies, self-care, finances, etc. I can take care of Work, or Self, or Relationships, but I can barely juggle two while dropping the third completely. But this didn't stop me from getting a career job. It's like I'm forever stuck in the early 20's ""I need to become an adult"" crisis, no matter how many years experience I get, forever a nervous wreck that goes full deer-in-headlights when faced with real responsibilities. The only time I was ever functional in my life, actually able to think, plan, execute, and strategically adjust, was the years in college I picked up smoking and drinking, until I later kicked it. Now I'm thinking many years back to that and wondering if cigarettes and booze weren't literally self-medicating a real problem, because sobering up didn't make me a stronger person in the long run.

Maybe I'm just stressed, burned out, and overloaded? Our resident bipolar coworker thinks I'm hypomanic/depressive, office rumor says I'm autistic, family says ADHD, and I think I can function normally enough for awhile if I actually sleep and get time off work.",7.818953741442757,7.587890133235727,8.315777768984209,68.32090340706739,62.74816983894583,11.307649083930198,35.44335404218274,10.816535326029863,3.9616412409481234,2903,116,491,67,37,967,318,683,0.13699999999999998,0.763,0.1,-0.9546,3,0,6,0,0,0,107.0,1,2,1,13,21,32,4,4,39,0,59,18,6,4,5,107,100,44,0,15,30,0,4,4,1,4,8,2,0,6,31,29,3,4,14,6,4,4,16,17,0,3,14,7,52,16,79,72,19,73,2,4,1,1,22,35,3,22,34,347,83,19,0.05650397122800821,0.0,0.11027945024539207,0.0,0.06790679303033706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04518620537671564,0.14104749150138945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043225383331255945,0.0,0.0,0.07901778093078507,0.05789499585348785,0.1394938616108589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04344806609234297,0.0,0.034444296409693965,0.1248083938595497,0.0,0.0,0.05929743178579761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057696872146508066,0.0,0.17282869337769258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059243338799526826,0.0,0.0,0.09022764651116012,0.0,0.0,0.03644038698515476,0.0,0.04866678762260337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05782318032604426,0.0,0.11070476103387224,0.0,0.0,0.04720181752977433,0.0,0.0,0.11676741348424485,0.06301686406947805,0.07464068018891001,0.051111076889135985,0.0,0.0,0.05078212594263656,0.055271726123005946,0.05326691534910627,0.0,0.02857010560725475,0.040366448335316364,0.0542526733848437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043654828006598256,0.0,0.11808397140490112,0.05420375789955153,0.032112508983405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012329194185588,0.0,0.05798937587603036,0.060061079170558265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693508940401014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607147273800872,0.0,0.0,0.05884019096861344,0.031053104880405476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197312776978838,0.11041994486469832,0.05663182329632311,0.0,0.05000423646050674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607531147384006,0.0,0.0,0.03771683955522272,0.2291446327049297,0.056765833748457874,0.0,0.0627631741258209,0.0,0.056942713121966665,0.059941784224385536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041536920282842116,0.04189697870634835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553618948744119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21486908142679534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061188294568133135,0.0,0.11751821740808982,0.19734835286610655,0.0,0.0,0.106829033015987,0.06369973768189556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813333887441118,0.0,0.11360419517144367,0.0,0.0,0.05651926200508758,0.19294166865317405,0.03619789083553563,0.058095493145511365,0.0,0.12132823815591795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986845164770857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683789514712658,0.0,0.058000514481665585,0.0,0.0,0.11308955544054855,0.17279604886220742,0.047875631459174166,0.13049855275677053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024828882368502,0.04723985002696361,0.12945021626938474,0.1181404381099206,0.19405058579818096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699358174299159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015491102742815,0.21723277939528152,0.0,0.08971568320041097,0.19768752009570897,0.0649430028566428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05519616954162769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662169383768685,0.0,0.04485022231742008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446781191488452,0.061276146498734835,0.2056778200651968,0.0,0.0,0.08027759996448677,0.0,0.0,0.10916011474611267
mentalhealth,nyltiak99,2019/02/17,"Get me out of this hole I am almost convinced the medication I am taking is making me worse at this point. I’m prescribed Wellbutrin 150 mg XR and Vyvanse 40 mg, have been on the Wellbutrin about 2 months and the Vyvanse around 4 months with a 3 week break in between due to circumstances.  I’ve been diagnosed with Bi Polar II disorder,  Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, and PTSD, if that makes the situation any clearer. The good ol broken brain stew. 

I started the Wellbutrin because I had an extremely bad experience after taking acid and was afraid of going into a depressive state. I was depressed and pretty traumatized after it all so I just got on whatever medication my doctor suggested. Butttt it didn’t prevent me from going down into the hole I’m in now.

I am at the lowest point I’ve ever been in my entire life, like hell I didn’t even know it could get this bad! I’ve been having extreme mood swings and manic episodes. Every. Single. Day. And I’ve even developed drug-induced psychosis episodes now and I never even knew about psychosis before this. Now the thing is part of me feels as if most of this could have been caused by my medication. 

Before the whole bad trip and starting the Wellbutrin I was depressed but not like I am now. My depression started to worsen extremely the past 2 months. I’ve isolated myself beyond what I’ve ever done before. I’m always paranoid which isn’t usually a common thing for me. I can’t even talk correctly??? I constantly jumble words and sound like a toddler trying to pronounce their last name. Not a depression thing just something weird and new I didn’t have beofre. My memory is gone, I have to ask someone what we’re talking about mid conversation because I will actually forget. 

I’ve been back and forth about voluntarily admitting myself to a psyc unit because I feel like if I do that I can convince myself that I am in an extremely bad area. Because I am but part of me doesn’t believe it because I’m not actively harming myself like I did in my past experiences when I was in a bad spot. My state (FL) has shit psyc units and baker act rules so I’ve been hesitant. I was involuntarily baker acted 5 years ago while I was a minor and it felt like a prison. 

My psychiatrist doesn’t help much because she doesn’t listen when I explain what happens and she tries to demean me each time. I have a therapist who is amazing and she even hates my psychiatrist. I’ve been afraid to get a new psyc because I need a doctor slip for my Vyvanse and I don’t want to accidentally run out and not be able to get more because I’ll be in between doctors. 

I want to get off medication, I want to be the person I was before. I’m scared I’ll never be who I was before because I’m certainly not me now.  But I also am afraid of it getting even worse if I do get off of the medication because I’m so used to it by now. I want to enjoy things I used to. I want to feel okay and not like I was born to suffer in misery. I want to make friends and go out like I did before. I’m isolating myself from even my closest of friends. 

I don’t know how worse it can get from here but I want to leave this hole. Every day I have the smallest minutes of feeling okay again and I try to convince myself that I’m finally out of the hole and I made it, but I didn’t and it was just my brain tricking me. I want to be able to look back on this part of my life and say “Thank fucking god I’m not there anymore”.

TLDR; I’m in the lowest spot I’ve ever been in and I am convinced it was partly caused by my current prescriptions. 

P.S. I am also EXTREMELY restless if you could not tell by my never ending babbling. 


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mentalhealth,ArpeggioLibra,2019/02/17,"I need help and tips for overcoming mental health issues After researching for the past three years, I suspect that I have been living in a constant state of dissociation for the past eight years. My feelings are faded, I have random severe anger outbursts, I can barely remember my past (it's all a fog), I can't connect with and trust people, I put too much pressure on myself, have an eating disorder (anorexia-->binge eating), have frequent violent intrusive thoughts, have severe moments of guiltiness, have tried committing suicide (twice or three time-can't remember), and can't think. I believe that this may be a result of my abusive childhood, as I was beaten up in elementary school, sexually abused in middle school, and live in a household with an emotionally abusive mother and a severely depressed father. I think, as a result, that I may be suffering from complex PTSD, but I know I can't say I do because I have not gone to a professional. I fear that I'm never going to be able to live a normal life and the thought of that just makes me want to give up on life. I can't go to a professional because of lack of funds. I have never been serious about trying to overcome whatever I'm suffering with until now and I'm concerned that it's too late to change and live like a normal human being. Please, if anyone has tips, I would really appreciate it.",10.260660511363636,7.963170648437503,9.987926136363637,64.90536931818183,59.3125,12.74659090909091,40.46022727272727,11.20814326018867,4.5579968750000015,1090,44,184,22,11,358,145,256,0.17800000000000002,0.7509999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9713,0,0,0,0,1,1,37.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,3,2,15,0,26,5,0,3,4,42,42,14,1,7,5,2,1,1,0,3,3,1,0,1,10,11,2,0,10,0,1,4,7,9,0,4,6,2,24,2,33,29,3,30,0,3,0,0,6,9,0,5,17,133,34,6,0.09891260166245304,0.3515857759850661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916199091492806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059240779970985,0.0,0.0,0.11144063034087832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046364172159378,0.0,0.0,0.10688938305160478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519327887381578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336241089110037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20242457011753054,0.0,0.11126336359804652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113041762104222,0.050013183391680364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488598052854726,0.11242862193314374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513947020540948,0.0,0.0,0.06629903190618347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323905783490983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05435977908567605,0.0,0.11157772300492023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972979149469,0.04832370090377864,0.0,0.3493665577232586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602492967862686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968063798355732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271214325171697,0.07334244081568413,0.15257499234110825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19382669699070407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832698114429395,0.06857354373472233,0.0,0.0,0.10857633372856286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156235381777074,0.09943448451466197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336594542688583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240973916484618,0.0,0.0,0.07865927090311314,0.0,0.20020966714835575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.335229256577588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081943320538424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267584024589891,0.0,0.15705111415033354,0.05767673346344816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431032747021915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583412151976558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026467427982352,0.0,0.0,0.12739294498717565
mentalhealth,saxophonex,2019/02/17,"Next steps. Hello everyone, this is my first time posting here. 

I am a college student (music major) and I am 19 years old. Tonight has been one of the worst nights of my life. I know I need help but I have so much blocking my way and I don’t know what to do now so I’m hoping someone has insight here.  Here are the things that are constricting me right now:

First: I have tried my on campus therapy. I didn’t really care for the therapists there & they can’t prescribe medications (kinda want to look into/Maybe get medications for my situation)  

Second: I’ve called around to my campus’ training clinics. They have a pretty hefty wait list. 

Third: my parents know of my mental illness but they think “I’m cured” because they sent me to therapy for like, 3 months. They do not approve of medication, they pretty much believe that mental illness is made up. 

Fourth: I have next to no money to my name. I know a lot of people have “sliding scales” but I have a very full school schedule and cannot work 

Fifth: I don’t have a car on campus.. so I’m kinda stuck on campus? I suppose I could maybe work out a deal with one of my friends to drive me but I don’t know really 

I don’t know what to do anymore. My depression is on me 24/7. Any advice would be nice I’m in Wayne County in Michigan if that helps anyone ",0.9566383701188456,3.3420608195488732,2.6173538685423243,91.58053237933544,85.54135338345864,5.236769342711618,20.610720349260248,6.6834051587181325,0.3744583070579677,1022,32,213,12,31,335,143,266,0.087,0.7829999999999999,0.13,0.9097,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,6,5,10,7,0,0,9,0,30,7,0,1,0,33,51,11,0,6,6,1,0,1,1,1,7,0,0,0,7,6,0,3,8,0,1,5,9,2,0,6,5,1,37,5,27,43,6,31,0,1,1,0,15,11,0,5,14,140,44,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511770293970656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655376193205864,0.0,0.07315236315213165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668210196383564,0.07521654986431536,0.0,0.0,0.09576151265415496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557463669374304,0.0,0.0,0.12119633368067464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984261035182008,0.0,0.10967639502822407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858871534103339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090157547543067,0.09265124418409107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278925452027267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300066190369485,0.0,0.0,0.08310953582593313,0.0,0.05620171067024224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144205925056762,0.0,0.0,0.10684285095265927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35471116260145674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598098818770586,0.05255404031280999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033303456264433,0.0,0.0,0.09145351047673267,0.0,0.10178682991995162,0.0,0.0,0.21614022132412697,0.0,0.0,0.325101149083982,0.2168137029663992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586260882273844,0.0,0.1581549772146174,0.07976296349781331,0.0,0.0,0.22880719129794494,0.1009486406836794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287827766925372,0.0,0.1457865730959373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944550929541325,0.0,0.0,0.0745765890117294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302383806019366,0.21887793897887864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378262172864114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186554151551478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088681818811834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091496293545374,0.0,0.0,0.0911450506080108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460349532561928,0.12489889539985558,0.07146577782638179,0.06892752488144177,0.0,0.0,0.06272585333612628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303404160156812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875781926533471,0.06344850493758802,0.08538531311879853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566267827487456,0.0,0.0,0.0764157640165255,0.0,0.0,0.06927257061451704
mentalhealth,AltheaFay15,2019/02/17,"I need help I'm exhausted. I finally admit it. I'm so tired and it's killing me. It's been two years since I first tried to kill myself. Two years of PTSD, anxiety, bipolar, depression, and now stress induced non-epileptic seizures. I can't work and my boyfriend and I are broke, I can't drive, and now I'm on my second night of no sleep. None of my medicine is working. I've tried so hard and I just don't know what to do or who to tell or what to say. I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up. I'm so tired of pretending I'm okay, trying to find new solutions to problems that will never go away, of hurting people. I don't know what to do anymore. I know it will be better in the morning but I know this feeling will come back before I'm ready to resist it. Help?",0.7391092814371272,2.524908401197606,2.471044161676648,95.93674588323354,81.75449101796406,5.6121257485029945,21.814745508982035,6.6274283507984215,0.2605092814371255,601,19,142,6,16,198,95,167,0.16,0.7190000000000001,0.121,-0.6548,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,4,8,10,2,1,1,1,14,7,3,1,2,27,30,13,2,4,5,0,2,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,11,8,0,0,8,1,0,4,8,8,0,4,1,3,17,2,17,24,1,19,0,3,0,0,6,4,0,2,11,86,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436193358165596,0.0,0.13529328828617526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817231739582105,0.10489957146318142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608449228183765,0.0,0.0,0.12065356812253265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751488443902634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892132037633018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749947984452301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897871653226546,0.0,0.0,0.149442883805035,0.12468661163406265,0.11603990196917235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753137789394977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222067035435333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828806653799608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604184065112302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301859948012432,0.0,0.2998943508907833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115467746152512,0.21043305850354266,0.13175655739488887,0.0,0.12802216393096938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945773636892142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053677561505733,0.15946921838501446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848770628672076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112849122597179,0.0,0.13651983816105814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627015692267776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923824347479076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135924694422517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778633565484599,0.0,0.2665276065001318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568777811683658,0.0,0.0,0.1986326860989822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17570170992040174
mentalhealth,gunjy,2019/02/17,"community for mentally ill people I am a shut in for many years, basically a hermit like the hikikomori of japan except it is due to mental health and not cultural pressure.

I thought I would make a discord for us, I run a discord community already so if you join do not worry as the server will be slow to start with as I have another we chat in that is active and has ""hikikomori"" and such as it is a general mental health server.

consider joining https://discord.gg/QaxXYph",6.202621722846445,7.441661191011237,7.033202247191013,71.05781835205994,66.30337078651687,9.978277153558057,33.934456928838955,10.125756701596842,3.6878299625468163,382,17,64,9,6,127,62,89,0.09,0.779,0.131,0.4133,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,7,0,10,3,0,1,0,13,13,8,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,8,1,13,9,0,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,5,49,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316231616593535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200920776249411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4462148468310256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254356786733393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010582241863873,0.21279949219323915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.634571115723058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551401702172287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856399791801195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663232825008906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524765439433904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315746572245994,0.0,0.149102619644883,0.0,0.0,0.13516480376910145
mentalhealth,louzzii,2019/02/17,"Am I normal? Am I normal? I’ve never seen anyone to be diagnosed with anything partly because I’m afraid to admit I’m not okay and partly because I can tell when things are getting hard and can kind of pick myself up pretty u well. 

Background Information —
I’m 23 year old female. Growing up I was always bullied, I had horrible “friends” that would always put me down or make me feel bad about myself. They would say nasty things to my face and behind my back. For example one time one of my friends moo at me when I was walking in front of her in the hall because I was ‘as fat as a cow,’ mind you I was only 5’5” 130ish pounds. Not skinny but definitely not fat. I had a class with this group of friends and would often be late to the following class because I was in the bathroom crying because of the things they would say or do. There was a good year or two I would skip lunch and hide in the bathroom because I didn’t want to be with them. I have really bad self image issues because of this. To the point where I feel sick is someone complements me because I think I’m the most disgusting person alive. 


Depression? —
After high school I stopped being friends with the one girl that was really nasty to me. I was still friends with some of the other girls that weren’t nearly as mean. A year or so out of high school I was still friends with these girl. I was dating this guy who ended up cheating on me and completely breaking my trust in all people. I was so hurt because his ex cheated on him and he would talk about how horrible cheaters are. Having someone so against cheating cheat on me made me feel worthless. I eventually got over him and life carried on. I ended up dating another guy but the relationship ended the same way. I started isolating myself. I refused invites to girls night or to go out partying. I went to a dark place. I wished I was never born, I wanted to die. I would have never killed myself, I didn’t want my parents to think they failed. I wouldn’t kill myself but I would tell myself I wouldn’t fight to live. I wanted some accident to happen, an easy way out. After months of being like this I rescued a dog who I can say whole heartedly saved me. I live for him. Because he’s so attached to me I know I need to be alive for him. I very rarely have thoughts for wishing I never existed now. But it doesn’t happen on very bad days.

Anxiety? —
I’m almost positive I have anxiety. Since I can remember I would have horrible sleep schedules because I would be up all night freaking out about dumb things like homework or tests. I would often get shaky/shivers, have butterflies in my stomach, and feel like I need to puke. Until recently I bit my nails until they were painful because of anxiety or stress. Until recently the nervous shakes was as extreme as my anxiety got. After losing 3 grandparents in the span of 10 months I became terrified of my family dying. My dad travels for work and it makes me extremely anxious that something is going to happen. I have horrible scenarios in my head of how he could be dying. When this happens I have to call him immediately, if he doesn’t answer his phone after a few calls I get really shaky and pukey feeling. At work I’ve had two of what I think are panic attacks. One was when I was having a bad day shortly after my grandma passed and had an extremely rude, confrontational customer. After the customer left I had to rude to the back room where I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stop shaking, and couldn’t stop crying. It went on for a good 30 minutes. The other time a regular customer that was older and resembled my grandma a lot fell backwards onto the ground and passed out (the same way my grandma passed). I called 911 and let other coworkers take care of paramedics. I ran to the back room and had the same symptoms of shaking, crying, and not being able to breathe. I was able to get this episode under control a lot quicker than the last. Just rethinking of these experiences has me shaking and sick feeling.

I’m not sure if something is actually wrong with me or if this is a normal way to feel. I still isolate myself. Besides school and work I don’t really go out. I will still go to the store or shopping but I don’t socialize with people. I’ve gone out with friends maybe 5 times since 2015.
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mentalhealth,breaddread,2019/02/17,"Am I slowly becoming more and more stupid over time by being on risperdal? Will I grow breasts eventually? I've been on risperdal for over 6 years. My therapist says I'm not ready to come off of it. My psychiatrist says that if I haven't grown breasts as of yet, then it probably isn't going to happen? I tried to get off it but wasn't able to because of the depression coming back.

What is going to happen if I continue to stay on this drug? Am I eventually going to become slow and retarded and eventually become a vegetable and become a loser and unsuccessful? Am I going to lose all function eventually and eventually kill myself due to my body being broken?

Also, is smoking pot okay while on this drug? I smoke pot a lot and never really had any issues. Never freaked out or wanted to kill or rob anyone. Never was violent or wanted to kill myself while high. I'm also on mirtazapine and zoloft. My therapist said it interferes with the zoloft and prevents it from working. And says it can increase depression and anxiety.

I never had an issue with pot, by that I mean, I never was violent or broke things. Never did bad things or hurt anyone. I never freaked out or hurt anyone or was violent. I'm just pretty chill and relaxed..


I'm very depressed and suicidal. Pot is my escape sometimes. I know it's not great to be smoking, but it just makes me feel more alive sometimes.
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mentalhealth,Nevasse,2019/02/17,"I feel so alone and have nowhere to go I am actually home and safe, but since im back from living with my shitty ex boyfriend, well it sucks here.

I have an alchool problem and it makes my dad mad, but i can't stop, it's the only way I feel something, he doesnt understand and thinks im just selfish.

He got mad because I legit just forgot to buy him some, I went gaming with friends, I finished the last beer and  the rule at home is that there needs to be at least 1 beer when he comes back from work. 

I am a mistake

my ex fucked my up so much about my self esteem, I even stopped drawing altogether for months, he didnt love my drawings at all, i am a shell of who was, I draw again now, but I am so critical of it, to me it sucks, all of it doesnt matter and isnt interesting. He doesnt care and he never cared.

Im fat too, according to him.
I never felt good there.
Nobody loves me
im so alone, I want to leave but I can't.
 im misunderstood, I swear
im sorry
nobody cares about what I feel


I just just disapear, no one would miss me",1.367675438596489,2.417047785087721,3.3236842105263165,93.79412280701756,77.72807017543859,6.470175438596491,21.87719298245614,6.937597516519254,0.27668245614035136,797,21,198,8,18,270,125,228,0.28300000000000003,0.617,0.099,-0.9934,0,2,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,21,19,5,0,6,0,17,6,1,1,4,40,40,16,0,5,8,3,4,0,1,1,1,0,2,1,9,10,3,4,6,3,1,3,10,9,1,1,6,4,30,10,20,32,5,20,0,1,0,3,17,4,3,1,12,121,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.1002259373273055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21274423949313628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794867092550624,0.0,0.06260843494521079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141458857890252,0.0,0.0,0.08847185718782219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678361391722093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579324748112958,0.0,0.0986135681744627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935016081577605,0.09494975482239032,0.0,0.0,0.05837001010852911,0.08614465938449321,0.08214312211279201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060443610469628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6656386132668447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371884476225112,0.0,0.10875049548593346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069100534744233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539178906410972,0.0,0.0685568451608008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197870136606397,0.0,0.07550049913694358,0.07615496727054788,0.1584259184561583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959603314457348,0.07811230484278743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982754739972225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071444332657924,0.0,0.0,0.08495920755782159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906785740407794,0.0,0.11497061058353775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173311029818447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580965865855745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692024471923403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060578476588569526,0.08152299564604128,0.0,0.0,0.09234474917894384,0.09520920298745383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477096506230571,0.0,0.0,0.07295917494078498,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rafarlow,2019/02/17,"Stuck in Life I'll keep this as brief as possible, though it will probably still be long.

​

I'm a college student. It should be my last semester of school, but I've switched my major once already, and I've failed so many courses that I'm really only half-way through my degree's curriculum. I'm hitting a wall because it seems like everybody who graduated high school with me is graduating and they either have job offers, or are at least getting interviews. I don't only feel like I'm behind in school... I feel like I'm falling behind in life.

​

My brief background is that I was very academically driven throughout middle school and high school, and I was always ""the smart kid"" who everybody wanted to sit next to during tests. I graduated 3rd in my class. I am also an Eagle Scout. I never really got in trouble at all (though that changed when mental health issues caught up to me in college). I was basically the kid that everybody's mom wants, at least as far as academics and extra-curricular activities are concerned. However, I never had any close friends, and I've always felt that any relationships I've had were very superficial and meaningless. I considered myself very extroverted because I hated being alone, but I was rather bad at social interaction so I more or less accepted that some people get to have friends and others don't. I guess I thought ""who needs friends when you have good grades and a future?""

​

What I had in grades, I lacked in goals and ambitions. I don't think anybody knows what they want to do when they grow up (including those who are already ""grown up""), but I'm a senior in college and I feel like I ought to at least settle for something. The only thing that makes me happy is playing guitar, but I'm realizing that I'm not good enough to create a career out of that. I'm terrified that I'm going to be another ""starving artist"" who's going to wait tables till it's too late to do anything else if I give that a shot.

​

I was raised to believe that it is impossible to have a successful life outside of engineering, and that I will amount to nothing without some ridiculous science heavy degree. My father is chemical engineering, and he demanded that I get a B.S. in either chemical, electrical, or some equally as ridiculous engineering degree. I don't necessarily hate engineering, but I definitely don't like it, and I'm not good at it. I knew after freshman year that I didn't want to do either chemical or electrical, so I chose mechanical because that's just what everybody does when they don't really know what else to do.

​

My father was already furious that I went to an ""easy"" major like mechanical. It was not easy. I made C's, D's, and F's, I lost my scholarships, and I was constantly depressed. Everybody told me to go to therapy, but I didn't because I thought depression and anxiety were just normal parts of life. I was always being told to smile more as a child (even when I was about 6 years old) so I just thought that everybody is naturally miserable and I've ought to just ""suck it up and be a man"". 

​

When I realized my only options were to switch my major or flunk out of college, I switched to civil engineering in the second semester of my sophomore year. I thought I made the correct decision, but looking back at it now, I didn't have any long-term goals or career ambitions within civil... I simply needed to escape mechanical. Again... my father was furious and he literally said ""when I need you to dig a hole I'll give you a call"" before he hung up the phone after I told him the news.

​

My grades in civil weren't so good either. They were definitely better, but I still failed several classes, some of which were even relatively easy. At this point, my mental health was a mess, and my illness (which I found out was a mixture of clinical depression and anxiety after I finally gave therapy a chance) was interfering with almost every aspect of my life. I couldn't focus at all, I couldn't remember anything (academic, social, and general life stuff), I was letting myself go in terms of diet and exercise, I was isolating myself socially, etc. I was prescribed Prozac, but was too scared to take it after seeing that ""suicidal thoughts"" were listed on the side-effects.

​

Things changed however, when I turned 21. I never drank much before (you don't get invited to parties when you're a loner like I was) so I went a little overboard. I noticed that alcohol made my internal voices stop, it made me feel happy, it gave me the confidence to engage with others socially, and it even made my concentration improve. I would literally bring my laptop and books to the bar at 1 pm on a weekday (when only alcoholics like me are there) and I would study just like I was at Starbucks. Except I was consuming beer and/or liquor instead of coffee. And it worked like magic. I made A's and B's for the first semester of my college career.

​

However, this ""magic"" had terrible side-effects. I got fat again. I was hungover almost everyday in class. And I blew an absurd amount of money ($1,500-$2,000) over the course of a few months. I did manage to land a summer internship, at a pointless job I hated, in an industry I had no whatsoever interest in. But I lost the job because I would drink on my lunch-breaks and I would sometimes sneak bourbon into my coffee to get energy to get through the day. Not to mention that I was clueless and was a rather unproductive employee because I saw no intrinsic value in the company.

​

When the fall semester began, after my half-summer internship, I was still drinking because I knew I'd have to if I was going to continue to make good grades. But my mental health worsened, so I tried to quit drinking since that ""superman effect"" was wearing off. When I did that, I lost all motivation to do anything. It was as if I'd rather die than be sober. So I started drinking again, in a desperate attempt to get my grades back. But it didn't work. So I thought ""alcohol no longer makes me happy, and it doesn't even make me productive anymore. There's literally no point, I might as well quit entirely."" So instead of being a functioning alcoholic, I am now a non-functioning recovering alcoholic.

​

I'm thinking I should switch my major again since I literally have straight F's. I should switch to something that I could actually excel in, and won't need to get fucked up just to study. I'm considering industrial engineering, which I was prohibited from doing sooner because it's ""imaginary engineering"", as my father (and many others) says. However, that degree has a lot more versatility than almost anything else, they're actually the ones that get promoted to management and make more money anyway, and I can't sustain interest in anything long enough to risk pigeon-holing myself into any one career path. I've been meeting with my advisers to discuss my options, and I could graduate within 4 semesters (assuming I'm a full-time student and I pass everything the first try).

​

However, I'm scared that I'm about to make the same mistake I made two years ago: I switch into something else simply to get out of where I'm at, and this eventually becomes another thing I flunk out of because I can't sustain any interest. I know my problem (or part of a large network of problems) is that I'm more concerned with pleasing other people than I am about bettering myself or making myself happy. I'm already racking up college debt, and I'm afraid I may take on another $20,000+ in loans and not even have a degree to show for it at the end of the day. I'm afraid that even if I do get the degree, nobody will hire me because they'll see my transcript and say ""we don't want that guy"". I'm also afraid that my soft-skills (personality, communication, professionalism, etc.) won't be pleasing to any employer because I've never been good with relationships anyway, and I just won't get hired because I'm an unlikable person.

​

These fears boil down to the ultimate fear of mine, that I'm going to be one of those 30 year old losers who's still living with mom and dad, can't hold a job, and will die sad and alone because nobody likes being around a person with this many issues.

​

I would really like to get in a time machine and punch 17 year old me right in the face for being such an obnoxious, stuck-up brat. I showboated my achievements like I was some super-star who was really going to be somebody one day, and now I'm just a mentally ill college student with straight F's and no whatsoever direction in life. I barely find any joy from playing guitar much anyway, and I still haven't learned one fucking song to play for my guitar teacher, which he's been hounding me to do for my past three lessons.",7.719111210570612,7.226237536860879,8.161655733543537,70.20852629961658,63.0487514863258,11.316982190810833,36.73478603588558,10.740744140187712,3.9993332763296765,7035,300,1243,158,89,2335,569,1682,0.122,0.753,0.124,0.1714,13,2,13,0,0,1,287.0,1,4,6,25,73,79,10,9,64,0,134,35,3,16,8,219,261,111,3,35,46,7,5,13,3,20,21,5,0,8,83,71,16,4,31,18,5,19,38,38,1,10,88,14,173,41,183,134,41,168,0,13,4,2,66,77,3,28,84,838,256,64,0.0,0.0,0.046451650722850166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021097680526429144,0.1271773206795349,0.07149819789638777,0.04930021793640645,0.10505764147463434,0.038066454357172895,0.05941169271317149,0.36102918867106987,0.40488246424306895,0.1132959497848749,0.07487060366786957,0.036414588654493374,0.0,0.02360367076181134,0.0,0.0,0.09792879397310864,0.021187464201895233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03660218447251744,0.019872398218568264,0.18861109204428256,0.026285749094428244,0.04050489379157931,0.026814979317777383,0.0,0.04209916300028376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024302940817956427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035548264486931,0.0,0.0,0.02571985268794179,0.0,0.03800547710344,0.0,0.0,0.04604800236145443,0.0,0.06149792954402467,0.0,0.04940226028913355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02082795159630761,0.0,0.0,0.0932615982662082,0.0,0.0,0.07952895436086556,0.0,0.021080151975927258,0.049184495342616236,0.05308763061279464,0.094319915400451,0.0,0.020052922394944845,0.0,0.02139032768119649,0.0,0.0,0.0535642911195902,0.048136930818209016,0.05100918135214698,0.02285218351420762,0.026072251415520636,0.021753198304937514,0.04048933507358746,0.0,0.02609598677496336,0.055164552010813016,0.0440063018101435,0.16165192151621402,0.04566315889702404,0.09468448867568524,0.11977622966895987,0.03807081998352438,0.0,0.026218900881388976,0.02356620710360256,0.0,0.101344171097595,0.0,0.07049410979342442,0.0,0.07589635962439333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05029300636749635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04968301403468374,0.09447317560419656,0.021154951210909448,0.0,0.0,0.039240347459700016,0.019400559573300787,0.026847966720483733,0.0,0.0,0.024337593001912624,0.11767683026749425,0.15116019599212124,0.02385432344562208,0.021016250964787982,0.06318800070795573,0.019986400412833786,0.0,0.07794307322244548,0.02023430839445236,0.0,0.1576440606216615,0.1112089892943163,0.07238982253543158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594110290783114,0.02524853740474599,0.0,0.05574964538229892,0.018997308002884503,0.0,0.0349921677844431,0.07059098741893859,0.0734255585511724,0.0,0.0253120697470053,0.0,0.023319407181836067,0.022837192769388368,0.02709699272736632,0.07492376846404591,0.025346723678100768,0.08063907181955768,0.0905066492385257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515471791214257,0.02272024159697892,0.03300049813732577,0.062344956864136214,0.0,0.05225153760214385,0.04499827409074162,0.026831453723720637,0.0,0.0,0.02566093202771573,0.045547670737501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050629458788617916,0.0,0.0,0.07623595231272101,0.0,0.0,0.05110559518656081,0.026961292770151787,0.020325471249364582,0.022639697125797914,0.03785417788766257,0.04765684478695572,0.1204367309162858,0.03793178610301836,0.02166705391203707,0.0,0.0268877564503645,0.0,0.039375989293849965,0.0,0.0,0.09704632718879183,0.0,0.054968293539786016,0.023539273305597068,0.0,0.016846095094176155,0.0,0.09503543002445926,0.019898258549253398,0.0,0.0,0.02724584382071736,0.02603385109587184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035789982716595566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054435823119846787,0.0,0.04743592391315563,0.030500760179615338,0.046767681666468636,0.11336948736452825,0.013878245395853634,0.0,0.0,0.06822710680291078,0.0,0.032317913513781805,0.02588807677208476,0.02324960074684488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058913640758189424,0.07019066897386726,0.018891705184375704,0.0,0.0,0.021399480759861433,0.044126548084367466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02294280365995777,0.0,0.03465405109599719,0.0,0.0,0.08453585473361665,0.0,0.40488246424306895,0.09196033371166616
mentalhealth,idem_as_heck,2019/02/18,"What's up with the recent push for men's mental health? Just a few years ago, it seemed like no one gave a shit about men's mental health issues. But fast forward to today and it seems like it's a popular way to virtue signal on social media. What happened? 

Quite frankly, it pisses me off when I see people trying to ""raise awareness,"" as every time I see it, it's coming from someone who almost certainly is the kind of person who would have been hating on men 5 years ago. Aren't there more important people to care about? And why is there only an outpouring of support after something happens? The rhetoric coming from the people who ""care"" changes pretty fucking quickly after a dude kills himself. Is men's mental health only important after they're dead?

I just don't get it. Could everyone just go back to not giving a shit about men? At least then, I knew for a fact that people were genuine. Nowadays, it just seems like the freshest way to get internet points.",4.6678762414056525,6.226699748663106,4.889873949579833,83.79514705882355,70.22994652406418,6.840183346065698,25.65660809778457,7.1686216300943375,1.2472447669977074,771,23,139,7,14,242,115,187,0.147,0.732,0.12,-0.7558,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,13,15,6,0,12,0,10,7,3,0,2,20,30,6,2,2,6,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,6,14,5,0,0,4,0,0,5,4,6,0,1,4,2,6,9,25,24,3,28,0,0,2,1,13,7,4,4,19,86,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18931390880976615,0.0,0.1069280522698792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210976800018421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177453865166508,0.0,0.11296257469583608,0.18396871909517087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525777771659705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996953757286899,0.10203602128568967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871944213848856,0.11157973609216128,0.10243627360562052,0.060687411424185385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18885624283737829,0.0,0.0,0.10542640344073226,0.0,0.3405169702642543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145402425368413,0.0,0.0,0.11813990254739955,0.11119837691396886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650678276733498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228373585472233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235912909870841,0.16242702622362407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961203857087674,0.09323906059831648,0.0,0.0,0.10094473592890923,0.0,0.0,0.10863700755905388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357718603461214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543562842249936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018493303808185,0.2916345232838206,0.0,0.0,0.21922305024389496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885212898597267,0.09047714537213657,0.08220700294189169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117642582082395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06226620220215458,0.0,0.1012180845780218,0.0,0.0,0.07249885270806984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951922975872352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635532109461337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585579407246927,0.0,0.0,0.13752989109077066
mentalhealth,elainefraticelli,2019/02/18,"My partner (35yr old Male) is at the end of his road. And I can't do anything to help. TW: Suicide

I'm a 25yr old Female in the U.S. and I met my AMAZING partner (35yr old) through mutual friends. We instantly connected about art, love, and life and fit well together. As we approach our 1 year anniversary this weekend, he's found himself in the worst downward spiral he's had in a few years. He suffers from treatment resistant depression, poverty, anxiety, childhood trauma, and lacks emotional support and understanding from his heavily christian family. He's tried everything and the drugs and therapy that were the most promising, are too expensive. He can now barely afford the roof over his head with monetary help from his parents.

He came over to talk with me today and said he's realized that 2 of 3 of his reasons for living were bullshit and now they aren't strong enough. And that leaves just one reason for life left, his 7yr old son. I continually offer and ask to help him but he's refused each time, believing (justifiably so) that it would be too much to ask, or letting me know that what I think would help, would actually make it worse (touch, talking it out, sound, smells).

He's come to terms with and decided that he will kill himself eventually. When his brain shuts down again, he may not stay in bed thinking about his son, he might instead get up and kill himself, disappear, do something violent and illegal, or admit himself to the hospital. It's just a matter of deciding which one is the better option. And there's nothing he can do to stop it. There's nothing anything anyone can do to stop it.

I've decided that I won't call for help and have him admitted, or try to stop him. It's not what he wants and the last thing he needs is to be forced to do anything against his will. Even if it's gonna make him better for \~5 seconds. Because I know, and he knows, that it's not going to last and it's just going to make things worse in his head.

So now I'm sitting here at my house, preparing myself for his death which is something that I didn't get to do with my previous partner who died in a car accident... And I'm lost. How do you grieve for someone who's still living? How do you grieve for someone who's terminally ill? 

TLDR: He's tried EVERYTHING and is suicidal and I've decided not to stop him. How do I grieve? How do you grieve for someone who's terminally ill?",4.23268765133172,5.6242864576271225,5.0694285714285705,82.7368305084746,71.07627118644069,8.614624697336563,30.223002421307502,9.081645337920577,2.5174173607748185,1896,79,374,38,35,616,227,472,0.211,0.7120000000000001,0.077,-0.9977,2,0,3,0,0,1,67.0,3,3,1,4,25,21,3,0,13,0,37,9,3,9,0,84,68,36,10,7,12,3,1,0,4,9,5,2,1,4,30,33,0,5,16,2,1,7,8,12,1,3,9,4,42,9,52,47,8,52,1,7,0,1,73,18,0,8,25,239,72,0,0.0,0.0,0.07663841307417113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060078732268954216,0.0,0.0,0.05491319843998682,0.0,0.1938817823929252,0.0,0.146838446002649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047873945878790125,0.0,0.0,0.08848156866555743,0.0,0.13891489296441706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767055478001491,0.08019257823306901,0.08982262799232735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765057945486691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676417113889245,0.0,0.08150648624794514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107516990924124,0.0,0.0,0.08834082251731676,0.06955832008797519,0.08114720601431377,0.0,0.05187134382449286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116361792215154,0.0,0.07403540464933152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610910410785233,0.060675615157799824,0.0,0.08206214446871128,0.0,0.08926601367133878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119825524742445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632003393252129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061835130288608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377373508674673,0.0,0.1294816399844819,0.128032315348251,0.0,0.08315677176312236,0.08532804176645452,0.08030692027890078,0.11094258084276368,0.0,0.0,0.1386949309784221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572976200612152,0.0,0.07088051700856474,0.0,0.1572673090001829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331276968771871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057731946384968175,0.05823238968841416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071207896204308,0.0,0.3296352875741987,0.0,0.1064341163313702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872033477544034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149323891354506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470436176975394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19962626283267754,0.12091950004587287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837074039036051,0.06271781027848995,0.2626336734085854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718081491743782,0.08912010110596702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624622753311004,0.0,0.0,0.08981112691091374,0.0,0.10434975936884748,0.10064356471068228,0.0,0.0,0.04579414022283357,0.0,0.07444159101279134,0.0,0.0,0.15995945679145784,0.0,0.0,0.08175725864278544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632172505443816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061201143666955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600668755893014,0.16736611906365045,0.0,0.0,0.10114737842841892
mentalhealth,inertsoul,2019/02/18,"""Mania: is a facet of type I bipolar disorder in which the mood state is abnormally heightened and…"" — Read and discuss on #ManyStories https://www.mnys.me/BJl-OZFrV I want to write about some of the ways being bipolar has actually benefited me.",9.103076923076925,11.925568025641027,7.936410256410259,61.3169230769231,61.051282051282044,11.353846153846154,38.641025641025635,11.20814326018867,5.33731794871795,199,10,27,6,3,61,33,39,0.071,0.895,0.034,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,6,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,19,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.4736779043797055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5563075453651826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4855288183625314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28629999984216764,0.3852859126701553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jefftommens,2019/02/18,Can any of you make an argument for living with Agoraphobia? Feels like something that just prompts the need for suicide. I'm struggling to find actual reasons to live.,5.0790000000000015,8.091787566666671,4.830000000000002,78.245,73.33333333333334,8.0,33.33333333333333,8.841846274778883,3.3603333333333336,137,7,22,3,3,42,28,30,0.263,0.67,0.067,-0.8074,0,0,1,0,0,1,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,5,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.2901937778996372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20222427391662984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036104845847814,0.2124437892417846,0.0,0.0,0.2717941213832701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528174054392942,0.0,0.5251727479952525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984992151594787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22049878751338628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057496314557998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22893275795055154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108794973274601,0.0,0.3252784986205593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aneverydayuser,2019/02/18,"What makes me mold into a different person in pursuit of a relationship? I have no bearing on who I am as a person. I only seem to be able to develop a self concept based on the pursuit of a relationship with someone. I will find myself taking on serious commitments (to completion even if nothing works out).

 Is this something with a name that I can read about.",4.813714285714287,6.109210085714286,6.55857142857143,72.97642857142857,69.57142857142857,9.6,34.0,9.888512548439397,3.6590857142857134,286,14,50,7,5,99,52,70,0.057,0.918,0.025,-0.25,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,0,6,0,0,1,1,10,9,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,15,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,2,0,42,11,2,0.2270908367526343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381004217511633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372615905857312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999135593042498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075569106945191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515848969216302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178997825378889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271281445539874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965739187009888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22715229075818616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4876211445982915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067349688442481,0.2369052694042013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924133290428877,0.174825620786651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17074404743464094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653248337947299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BihexualBun,2019/02/18,"What are some of your Self-Care tips? Hi there! I’m (18, Non-binary) a college student currently studying social work, and my program always stresses self-care, but doesn’t seem to give too many options to us directly. 
What are some of your self care practices, if any? ",2.3064705882352925,5.044781901960782,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,82.92156862745098,5.752941176470588,26.14705882352941,7.1686216300943375,1.4726705882352946,211,9,39,3,6,66,41,51,0.04,0.861,0.099,0.6062,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,7,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,4,7,2,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,5,1,21,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042114307032024,0.0,0.0,0.15562552909356292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23332734951905126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953332373524329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320175057190129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083360186090938,0.7162199151567378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332832777962046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621463652808769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275277809051855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666051846117686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Micaiah_XYZ,2019/02/18,"Please help: I'm a Journalist Looking for Sources on Mental Health Misdiagnosis I'm looking for studies on misdiagnosis in the mental health industry for a piece I'm working on. 

What I would like, ideally, is studies looking at studies examining the rates of misdiagnosis in the mental health industry as a whole. 

In particular, I came across an unsourced claim of 50% at the 2:00 mark of the following youtube video, and I was wondering if there were any stats on that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVTVyPQkqpQ

Other than that, I'd hugely appreciate anything else you may happen to be aware of that relates to the topic. ",9.980218068535828,10.620506102803741,9.009859813084114,62.22949376947042,58.065420560747654,11.993146417445484,41.197819314641755,11.538034831475384,5.134864174454831,511,25,77,13,6,160,67,107,0.0,0.8740000000000001,0.126,0.9061,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,2,1,2,0,0,10,0,6,3,0,0,0,8,16,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,4,2,21,10,2,13,0,0,3,0,2,11,0,3,1,51,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150563208775554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392305503372609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351050584163304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133815543632186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961587356730896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5395293605883007,0.0,0.0,0.1134057908099995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265863555313523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42623585196564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5115170427360164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857219424736379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18889675855269628,0.0,0.0,0.18348144142784287,0.12317374721361755,0.0,0.0,0.12018909965361395,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reddituser_me,2019/02/18,"Husband compares depression to cancer is that fair? My husband has really bad depression. He compares it to cancer, and it makes me feel a way I can’t describe. What are your thoughts on this. ",3.0874999999999986,5.901087194444448,3.9811111111111153,82.55000000000003,79.83333333333334,6.933333333333335,31.222222222222214,8.07648339933343,2.7628555555555563,153,8,26,3,4,49,30,36,0.406,0.5479999999999999,0.047,-0.9623,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,3,6,0,2,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,18,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398401722986727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7011221206549376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057988004676775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27168539187778423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607439613916421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231241116080155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230692276926663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PrestigiousZucchini1,2019/02/18,"I (22F) Found Brother (28M) After Suicide Attempt--How Do I Support Him w/o Hurting Myself? *Hey there. I am not sure if this is the right subreddit for this. I read over the community guidelines and hope this is appropriate. If not, I’d greatly appreciate being directed to the right subreddit!*

Saturday, my brother (28M) attempted suicide. He took 100+ pills of Tylenol and 290 pills of Benadryl, in addition to alcohol. I found him and called EMTs within minutes. I also found a big knife with blood in a sink, as well as 15+ tabs on the computer about how to commit suicide. He was very incoherent and disagreeable. In the ER, when asked what happened, he kept telling doctors that I pushed him down the stairs. When asked why, he said it was “for a school project.” The doctors said that if I didn’t bring him in when I did, he’d be dead. A doctor said he’d petition to put my brother in a psychiatric unit, but that it’d help if I did, too. So, I did. Since Saturday, my brother has been in the hospital—first critical care, now intensive care. Once he is cleared physically, he’ll probably be institutionalized short term. 

For some background, Friday evening, my brother’s wife called me to say he went missing. I told her how to track his location, where he might be, etc. Turns out my brother was in an ER after a car accident. The hospital and my brother would not give her any info, except that cops brought him there and suspected he was under the influence. His wife dropped my brother off where I live with our dad. In the last year, right after moving in with his wife, he developed alcoholism. He was in a psychiatric ward for a suicidal ideation in the fall, and he completed a 6-week outpatient rehab in late January. In the fall, I brought him to the ER/called EMTs due to alcohol poising on multiple occasions, but no physical injury has been this stark. He has a history of depression and anxiety, and he does not take medication consistently. He has been physically and emotionally abusive to his wife. When I was a child (22F now), he was very physically abusive to me, with some incidents of sexual abuse. In the fall, he attempted to hit me, and he threatened me several times. 

**My questions:** 

1. My brother blames me for many things, since I am the one who gets him medical support in trauma incidents. This has flared up PTSD and panic in me. I talked to my physician about it, who recommended short-term therapy. He said this was out of character for me; I am otherwise very resilient. So, I set up an appointment. What else should I be doing to care for myself during this time? 
2. I am physically very unwell (several autoimmune conditions and physical illnesses). My biggest concern is that I am having 4 extensive foot procedures in April.  Doctors say my case is very, very complicated. I am worried that my brother will try to hurt me, and I might not be able to walk again. My dad told him he can live with us. I don’t have the money to move out now (student debt and medical bills have been my priorities), and my good friends live out of state (I am in Michigan). So—is it unwise to get the surgery now? Are there any steps I can do to prioritize my safety? My doctors (podiatrist, orthopedic, rheumatologist) are strongly discouraging me from postponing the operations, but they do not know about the issues at home. 
3. What can I do to support my brother? Sometimes he seems relieved that I am around, but when he is in a mood, I am the #1 person he blames. Well, maybe I am tied with his wife for that. Would it be best if I stay away? I’ve been in the hospital every day because the doctors have questions for me. But, when he is in the psychiatric institution, should I visit? Should I let him cool off? Any advice on what I should say to him? I am conflicted with what I should do for his best interest. 
4. Our mom (now deceased) was diagnosed with several mental conditions throughout her life: bipolar, depression, dissassociative identity disorder (then known as multiple personality disorder), paranoia schizophrenia, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis. I am worried that there is something more than addiction and depression going on with my brother. Would that change anything I should/shouldn’t be doing right now? 

XXX

I know that in these tough situations in life, things are grey as opposed to black and white, which might make giving advice or resources difficult. However, any insights would be greatly appreciated, whether you can help with just one of my questions or all of my questions. I love my brother very much, and I want what's best for him, but I don't want to ruin myself in the process. I am feeling all sorts of hard things right now, and I just want to do what's best. ",4.275360016689518,6.490488129105327,5.204604369076712,78.44184963044647,72.57870894677238,9.132079632830662,31.77697144900757,9.649222223991623,3.3371130237825586,3730,178,679,99,76,1217,367,883,0.138,0.745,0.117,-0.9709,3,0,4,0,2,6,158.0,3,1,1,7,36,37,0,1,39,1,91,27,2,4,5,106,135,50,5,18,23,21,2,0,1,14,24,7,1,3,37,36,3,4,15,1,3,17,10,13,4,2,32,13,108,23,109,75,12,104,0,9,3,1,104,54,0,19,29,467,145,11,0.04943577118382612,0.17571991516712301,0.0,0.053892287584260914,0.0,0.09661612690544044,0.0,0.1584954150523988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03953376835505355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13447207851931675,0.0,0.037818229643970934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04068142748359891,0.04400831734573578,0.09243154543661393,0.0,0.046446534353279834,0.0,0.0,0.030135587267421483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20751916765086892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095889925851456,0.0,0.15120919033004454,0.0,0.052296490963153384,0.0,0.05183246553133528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03188198269425758,0.0,0.17031582912673726,0.05017626713677517,0.0,0.0,0.1133153533820482,0.3035976394777934,0.0432615765047494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04129724336448009,0.05560858870891281,0.0,0.0,0.05513395262591361,0.03265186062705499,0.0,0.041651769369701414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024996211289267645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04205004171468709,0.0,0.16261131438371698,0.03819395418589147,0.0,0.05165630011467722,0.09484659271161086,0.028095488011562374,0.0414643794047159,0.0,0.10900622450754363,0.0,0.0,0.04371588919371591,0.0,0.04428474080566844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662715107263713,0.0,0.04958810924378346,0.04910087529453583,0.0,0.0,0.10584403101444996,0.0,0.0,0.051598101299338735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433721397104687,0.04029675161930429,0.05576570316598398,0.0,0.0,0.05055142541143373,0.0698358943531596,0.0,0.0,0.1309580749818966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04461771359477371,0.0,0.032998761140258334,0.05012011272929648,0.049664876773419665,0.0,0.0,0.14940401568239495,0.049819629935823666,0.15733062286769775,0.0,0.05789857772779109,0.0,0.1050848023841753,0.036340979972847694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264748290174125,0.06699791592394964,0.0,0.0,0.05800222595228525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633081714226377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053300122624492886,0.0,0.057787771029657216,0.049696604291366936,0.22151751053446933,0.0,0.049449149205591486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108939239261407,0.18809895629404,0.1179399283558322,0.0,0.05003163968789418,0.0,0.04500446940803796,0.0,0.1675450503147021,0.0,0.08178756155684917,0.05556787808823783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038058071870568234,0.04889324177020008,0.0,0.0,0.052691954443303546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629883969904712,0.16829738189703827,0.04659262929243562,0.0,0.03716954757260301,0.0397346002838291,0.043209042984481305,0.0,0.0565341127188847,0.0,0.09852878915880812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765279145845972,0.0,0.0,0.09447599577915593,0.05492496076314994,0.03356364358457137,0.05377192320894952,0.0,0.0,0.05946514586818143,0.0,0.0,0.2855278199161134,0.08747549604265897,0.0,0.039654393723915535,0.0,0.08889739058341001,0.04582745516320462,0.04460809425107707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004088506132278,0.0,0.14047101386969152,0.0,0.0,0.03183501582695898
mentalhealth,rodricksmokesdankUwU,2019/02/18,"Doubt Have you ever gotten to a point in your life, where you doubt every single thing, down to the atom (quite literally)? I feel like this life isn't real. Why did God do this to me. I don't want to die. I want to know why I am here. I want the truth. I have nobody in my life I can talk to. Im going crazy. I need help. Im sick of this cycle. This fucking routine. God help me or ill kill myself self ill fucking do it. I want the truth.",-2.069795918367348,-0.2280600204081616,0.746122448979591,102.18102040816328,98.18367346938774,3.2081632653061227,11.081632653061225,4.65589566412798,-1.813987755102041,330,4,85,1,14,113,58,98,0.234,0.5870000000000001,0.179,-0.6177,0,0,0,0,0,2,17.0,0,3,0,1,3,8,3,2,4,0,9,8,0,0,3,14,20,1,2,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,1,16,3,10,18,1,7,0,0,0,2,7,5,2,3,2,50,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761811511436459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355508766135476,0.14302774531604506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583433059984442,0.12127456297099813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138755540782877,0.0,0.0,0.09647691717919804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22756931821427046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667337687282547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878111675246328,0.0,0.09329410633258353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35971354864198696,0.08293478314905514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587279763159748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047540501963534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055765624797748,0.0,0.1932208348745348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709376090866075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644439061367786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127791269963468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4005087309603474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063589009603182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,devanz7,2019/02/18,"Depressed, burnt out, broken. Can't afford therapy / take antidepressants. Am I done for or can I still get help? 23M, UK. Been suffering from depression, anxiety and insomnia for four years. When I was at uni, I tried every free therapy available: CBT (three times), counselling, mentoring -- all unsuccessful, except perhaps for counselling, which was alright while it lasted. After repeated insistence from my GP, I started taking pills in my year of Master's study. What a massive error. First pill gave me fever symptoms, could barely stand and walk while. Second pill worked for a month, then messed me up badly. I ended up gaining so much weight and feeling so bad about myself. Add to that the stress of Master's study. The sudden death of my dog. And my gf breaking up with me, which was kind of expected but actually broke me much more than anticipated. I wanted to kill myself. And I almost did. But I couldn't. 

That was the turning point for me. Told my family about it. Father who's a doctor helped me slowly adjust the dosage so that I could get off my pill within a few months. Managed to get extra time for my essays and dissertation and completed my Master's, but ended up burned out af. Asked my parents if I could take a year out to recover and work on myself, and surprisingly they agreed. So here I am. Living with my brother. Applying for opportunities for next September. Taking care of myself, eating healthily and exercising. Going back to my interests, writing and music. Even trying dating again, why not...

But I'm not better. I still feel bad about myself. I've got interviews to prepare for, interviews for very exciting opportunities. Still can't focus on preparing for them properly. Exercising, I'm so inconsistent with it. And my interests... I thought this year out would be my chance to finally pursue them, yet I still can't bring myself to do it. And dating... One year later, I think I'm still not over my ex. I sometimes think about her before going to sleep and feel so miserable about it. I've had a few dates, but they've led to nothing. When they did lead to something, it still ended up in nothing, and it hurt so bad. I'm worried I will never be able to date again. At least until I'm over my ex. Or fully recovered. So yeah, never.

There you go. I really want to get better. I thought I could if I took a year out to recover and work on myself. 4+ months in, it's still bad. I think I need help. I'm not in work, so I can't afford therapy. And after my recent experience with antidepressants, I definitely don't want to try that again. So, here's the question: Am I done for? Or is there anything else I can do to get help?

TL;DR: Depressed, burnt out. Broken as in trying to do things well (applications, self-care, interests, dating) but failing. Want to get better but can't afford therapy or take antidepressants. Can I still get help?",2.545243753808652,5.193395643510058,4.101514625228521,81.89456322364416,80.68190127970749,7.010469226081657,22.645003046922607,8.131152278815165,1.5741878366849478,2255,74,411,46,60,748,249,547,0.145,0.742,0.113,-0.977,4,0,1,0,0,1,110.0,0,1,4,16,36,31,1,2,12,2,35,13,1,2,3,75,78,47,2,14,18,5,4,0,1,2,10,0,0,0,18,28,2,0,10,2,1,8,13,16,1,5,16,4,64,16,77,53,8,87,0,8,0,0,25,26,0,8,51,289,82,11,0.061956097045922184,0.0,0.06046021344237566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204008165181494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04739624465883553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050984588867203084,0.0,0.05792058727961163,0.0,0.0,0.047640414306676544,0.2586537656272127,0.0,0.0,0.05272007530391122,0.0,0.0,0.16438539908488825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316837009573202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495978898857509,0.0,0.0,0.19786760831067532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008808680148334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341469063112015,0.0,0.12680519595084544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339655463456231,0.05175636904913696,0.0,0.16462413731643746,0.0,0.0,0.04092141777696396,0.0,0.05220068390574389,0.0,0.0,0.06060495135384665,0.058406694343463836,0.0,0.0939805927165299,0.0,0.0,0.0678698759237092,0.0,0.05269982449697457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265865249402353,0.0,0.10563323319004288,0.0,0.0495519506048011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20763932935703186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632528329413757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854524182184851,0.06451774101224557,0.0,0.050502488262545005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547083687798663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835829669923184,0.0,0.09108972017729153,0.04593966091669617,0.09556872302808768,0.0,0.06589101208493459,0.0,0.0,0.11889709216148005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04198305479471126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687949137597401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058568537688725476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940500801034771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03969066224415176,0.0,0.06117417139360814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463372134158459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200084099824967,0.0,0.0,0.047696830406987765,0.06127616419171642,0.0,0.04385284437538517,0.0,0.3958257530626131,0.0,0.07097049983830257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439610739658097,0.23291637223560155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834087859976405,0.0,0.04116087788766686,0.11909689592842357,0.0,0.09837244098253113,0.07225419685042307,0.0,0.0,0.05920170579758815,0.06883550347847152,0.1682564919566411,0.06739044244483268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112026863027305,0.1461732450592323,0.0,0.0,0.07544583513220995,0.0557059718724178,0.0,0.055905740929507085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804191061719433,0.06291942397065252,0.0,0.04401183373415776,0.0,0.0,0.2393861711228456
mentalhealth,LethalProtector13,2019/02/18,AntiDepressants and sex I don’t really know where to go with this issue. I’ve been taking Paroxetine for over a year and have completely lost my desire to have sex but I still want to and cannot get there mentally. It becomes awkward for me a 23 year old male. I’m basically looking for help/advice on the subject. My medication has been helping with my depression issue but another has occurred in my lack of sexual desires. I’m thinking about changing medications because of that as well as weight gain... any suggestions?,4.344342403628119,6.861353683673471,5.63421768707483,74.0623696145125,73.38775510204081,9.253514739229024,31.29705215419501,9.725611199111238,3.5928671201814053,423,20,71,12,9,141,73,98,0.116,0.795,0.08800000000000001,-0.5879,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,1,3,0,8,5,0,0,0,13,18,7,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,5,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,3,2,7,1,16,15,1,9,0,2,1,2,3,4,0,0,4,47,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299282510983889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734636718943146,0.1963632881593396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415477782103102,0.20681906667175876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810114379858704,0.0,0.19634339739721632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16129074788585446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783803797018276,0.0,0.10642680241378842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510390627433191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39091123312408255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291574100141004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15725512195452418,0.0,0.2044214604586088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.377298818712174,0.18871869779681089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19650272358098808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996651453613535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954977214306725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079969330631845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999161086233448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045352821479,0.0,0.0,0.2280378649618716,0.16837338826128165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24118455873492975
mentalhealth,suiiurisi,2019/02/18,"Disconnected My mom had several miscarriages before me and after me; I was the only kid of hers that lived. Sometimes I feel like I'm in some sort of alternate reality where I'm alive but I really should've died a long time ago. I feel like a mistake. Everyday I think of killing myself (I truly have nothing to live for or look forward to... no relationship, no kids, job is unrewarding, no pets).

I can't connect with other people. I try. But I feel like there is something deeply, intrinsically wrong with me. It's not a matter of changing, at this point I think I realize that this loneliness and inability to connect is just... a part of me, something I can't get rid of. 

I can't shake the feeling there really is no place for me, anywhere. I will never belong to a group, find a purpose, or find someone to love. I can't shake the feeling that I don't belong here, that I SHOULD be dead. I have no idea what to say beyond that. ",2.025139631610223,4.147436294117647,4.110864527629237,84.09348633392753,79.10695187165776,7.1502079619726695,24.82739156268569,8.167268648758528,1.6128243612596558,725,27,147,14,18,248,107,187,0.248,0.639,0.113,-0.9833,1,0,2,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,0,0,6,9,1,2,9,0,16,1,0,0,1,27,28,6,3,2,6,1,5,3,0,2,0,1,1,2,10,4,0,0,11,0,0,3,12,5,0,0,2,7,26,4,20,23,2,15,0,0,1,1,8,7,0,4,10,101,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680138659565704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121721359138226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132338870294956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845885778236187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616410324444096,0.3065756406946744,0.0,0.0,0.2614823657511541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747354768670523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148118935827066,0.0,0.0,0.14195078989489593,0.0,0.15825887859448462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20965471783127215,0.0,0.2526239564618597,0.12659094753629552,0.12012236521586366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910433363676113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675334008360811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103256661814792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725621190837514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879270453636204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490455880928455,0.0,0.09916988071078132,0.0,0.14945231599527034,0.0,0.13522442767985168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327748303106106,0.0,0.0,0.15357755380584134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375568604760468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16160093030518527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120216164288407,0.22024714457467015,0.1414758599109868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18331582365900112,0.0,0.0,0.08341110092668955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711864392610674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563980227229685,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fuckingerotic,2019/02/18,"im the loneliest ive ever been and it's my own fault ^(not sure if using a throwaway is acceptable, but my friend knows about the other reddit accounts i have so i decided to make a new one)

ive got really bad relationships with people, im currently visiting a psychologist (thank fuck) and i suspect it's because my psychiatrist thinks ive got some personality disorder. anyway it's really hard for me to maintain a stable interaction with someone over long periods of time. i can do for a bit, for a day or maybe even two. but beyond that, i feel very ill. i feel the need to crawl back into my cave where i can feel alone and best. as a result of that, i don't really talk that often and now most of my friends / teachers forgot i exist and my parents don't much either. ive recently got into a fight with one of my only couple of friends and now we haven't spoken in more than a month and i suspect it's the end of our relationship. my last remaining friend is very loyal to me, but even he is a bit on the fence as of late. i worry a lot about that. my entire life i just felt as if i was just making everyone else's worse. ive never ever ever thought about suicide in any serious capacity, but recently just couldn't stop thinking about the nature of my persona and i just can't help but feel like no one in any long-term capacity ever will give a shit about me because it seems like i don't know how to give one back. to make matters worse, my parents brought me up with the highest of expectations, i was considered a ""wunderkind"". i always hated that, because even as a child i knew i couldn't be *really* as good as they say. but they protected me from the outside world so much that ive only really started to socially develop from the age of about 14. im 19 now. it doesn't help that im living in a foreign country in a uni surrounded by 26-28 year olds. you know, i just read that back and it made me chuckle a bit.

​

to TLDR this: im a very unstable individual that, as a result of my temporarily effective coping mechanism (i.e. not not participating in social behavior for long periods of time), pushed away most of the people who had any sort of respect towards me. im delusional

​

to whoever might have read this, i hope your life is at least a bit better than mine at the moment. that gives me hope, knowing that. and if you think it isn't then, as hypocritical as i might be saying this, i say - don't worry so much. but i suggest you don't take my advice, it clearly hasn't worked out for me. 

thank you",3.3248782051282078,4.5610393211538485,5.2903846153846175,80.88128205128206,73.09615384615384,8.487179487179487,26.98717948717949,8.986495653885253,2.09150641025641,1997,71,407,41,39,691,238,520,0.13699999999999998,0.7090000000000001,0.153,0.8789,3,1,0,0,1,1,66.0,2,5,2,4,33,25,4,0,31,0,36,5,1,9,7,91,73,35,1,9,20,2,6,2,4,3,3,3,0,2,25,18,0,4,20,2,1,3,17,7,0,5,13,9,62,18,69,53,16,56,0,0,0,1,36,20,2,15,35,286,87,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864594168718925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062157417396881874,0.0,0.0,0.04993726920222297,0.13005240667427262,0.14584953390844954,0.12243672864961808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638604718486389,0.1384434401992282,0.05010999960859952,0.1097537202246234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629820165371461,0.05307837076995167,0.2620832479167552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640543139666186,0.0,0.03870469574482853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687823639754352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050134812971033824,0.0,0.053155456912891814,0.0,0.0,0.1189179804021726,0.21714793325224005,0.0,0.057346883142254425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138150403033855,0.04287471210868987,0.057623790262144335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18546969179844772,0.05548287987762247,0.0,0.17271550589595733,0.0,0.050337715960078085,0.1439983805797734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537616319367337,0.059252365606221075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045354907228965,0.0,0.0,0.11921682897231314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3889588476650034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13193064901511384,0.04892021697292432,0.06769950899021691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478070730192942,0.058640573327198166,0.0,0.05299432489410072,0.15933410028917852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102258794204763,0.0,0.05678762306510118,0.12018139105131755,0.0,0.06029311172877079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273328146461314,0.0,0.0,0.0479033826777638,0.0,0.13235374221296348,0.04450034556760856,0.04628725066034752,0.05796283950488715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297562356112774,0.0,0.1626708085404698,0.09128818994137344,0.0,0.0,0.1332790610341505,0.0,0.0,0.08321365798717995,0.052402763701010095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006243734570325,0.0,0.19223565764610026,0.0,0.11851510056915995,0.1288672522877972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317895743672035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054635381754638855,0.0,0.0,0.06160451223997487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235542393928392,0.05085049590647226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042478910159259885,0.0,0.0,0.05017520870647777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564664485263443,0.0,0.05656340629781838,0.0,0.045123794325051474,0.04823776580259497,0.0,0.11050745652358893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536552336454448,0.0,0.04764518860935725,0.06999043232783785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058625912761546335,0.0,0.0,0.051833671603407655,0.0,0.1485559258054531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04369161858970429,0.121896246238566,0.12232077913622888,0.0,0.0,0.14584953390844954,0.038647678013958006
mentalhealth,brownboy2023,2019/02/18,"I'm dealing with trichotillomania, among other things I have trichotillomania (self-diagnosed), and the reason that I can self-diagnose this is because I have been pulling my hair out for the past 10 years. It's gotten to the point where I have a noticeable bald spot on the front of my head. However, I also have various other tics, which include biting my fingernails aggressively and picking at scabs. All of these things, I think, stem from a possible nervous situation when I was younger, or it could have been prompted by stress. All I know is that these small actions are making me go crazy trying to figure out how to stop them, and I would really like to find a solution. Aside from a Pavlovian method, I can't think of anything. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do?",9.193502935420746,7.9914957671232925,8.627847358121333,70.35404109589045,60.50684931506849,12.178473581213307,37.295499021526425,11.20814326018867,4.0689581213307235,626,24,113,14,7,199,101,146,0.086,0.877,0.037000000000000005,-0.6915,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,1,2,8,0,17,4,3,4,2,21,24,7,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,13,6,0,1,6,0,0,4,1,3,0,0,4,1,15,1,19,18,3,17,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,5,83,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144377695204672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277332501948847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623769794191614,0.0,0.14856895717524504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005544916017096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414642188272658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612871251612628,0.0,0.36648840242700975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799168575534714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501020058913135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260498742061733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528602624492427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922000916439352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820267718478897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051178717019473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20554587617996675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234576593272985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17066856399209648,0.20353161401761305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565848485250295,0.18562508916603807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3766849862449967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029344153014048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093944295269146,0.20680784890991186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398853787020344,0.23136535992580676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257474318893385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825036715085306,0.0,0.0,0.11626177830105736
mentalhealth,thatgamerzaid,2019/02/18,How do I move on from an abusive relationship? I don’t know why I’m still missing her after she broke up with me. She’d constantly belittle and berate me throughout the relationship. Everything was great at first but over time her attitude towards me changed. Where do I even go from here I’m so broken. ,2.96531073446328,5.5069919999999986,4.245000000000001,82.14230225988702,78.15254237288136,8.001129943502825,28.477401129943495,8.841846274778883,2.6055740112994354,244,11,46,6,6,80,46,59,0.218,0.741,0.041,-0.8746,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,5,10,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,1,0,10,1,9,8,0,13,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,34,10,0,0.0,0.30560712467857176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27285775011036084,0.0,0.0,0.2787327523834889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703615876233943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23181256056570934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21939674274513687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146588643059987,0.0,0.0,0.28437083080879594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175262697693547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27414079053162743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5538446654954928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20598474887132628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040216537683926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23274342140155485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aspenup,2019/02/18,"I can’t complete my thoughts and I don’t know why. Normally, when I’m thinking about a concept, I usually branch out into other related ideas and concepts which can be very useful. For a couple of weeks now though, my thoughts keep getting cut off. It’s as though I’m about to come up with something in my mind, but then nothing happens. When I try to refer to the thought again, I completely forget about what I was just thinking about. It’s really been interfering with my decision making and work and I don’t know why it’s happening or how to stop it. I’ve tried sleep and exercise and I’ve found no difference.",2.9243237250554337,4.976975756097564,4.120502586844052,85.43667405764968,75.99186991869921,7.724759793052478,28.2549889135255,8.575989854853784,2.203380487804879,490,21,97,10,11,160,81,123,0.09,0.892,0.019,-0.7809999999999999,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,12,1,1,0,3,0,7,2,1,3,0,33,24,15,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,11,0,2,11,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,0,11,0,18,17,0,14,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,8,64,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376581982133054,0.3256304903737541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718218798778141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622416447670804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170263950403436,0.0,0.0,0.08113093871189239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746391916600709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529988468870095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380260342259639,0.0,0.0,0.1706831177096793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365513835467248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679539092683645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214808399791735,0.149001863411862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948069421912148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553989365744094,0.0,0.0,0.11954735780801908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298267099826725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900301005177887,0.3051369660940701,0.3698410974138015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108590746578812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411792843671638,0.17102646077572564,0.12812786495536144,0.0,0.0,0.12456169643315712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28024434988212804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305063280358145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mannequinmannequin,2019/02/18,"Weird perceptions of reality? All day things have been a little weird. Like I see thing that are actually real but behave in bizarre kinds of ways I guess? 

Driving to work this morning, I saw a smoky cloud emerging then disappearing in the sky. Eventually I realized it was just a flock of birds but it all seemed so surreal in the moment. Even though I KNOW it was just birds, it seemed so spiritual and out of reality... I don’t know how to describe it. 

Later on, I saw low passing clouds illuminated by moonlight that may have well been something out of a fucking movie. I could see so much detail it was breathtaking. It really feels like I could reach out and touch them right there. Absolutely awe inspiring. 

Even reflections is glass seem to be distorted faces out of the corner of my eye until I look at them head on and understand what they are. 

My doctor fucked up my abilify refill so I’ve been off for a few days, it’s wild how much hidden beauty the world is holding, I almost want to stop medication altogether but I know I’ll crash and burn and maybe kill myself if I do so. ",2.768656783468103,5.176076575471701,4.266010781671159,82.45814465408806,78.05660377358491,7.8116801437556145,23.774483378256964,8.704169506293173,1.8058483378256964,862,29,169,20,21,286,132,212,0.135,0.762,0.103,-0.8505,0,0,1,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,3,1,14,11,3,0,9,0,18,7,3,2,2,40,35,19,1,4,6,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,14,9,0,2,12,0,0,3,1,6,1,0,8,8,20,5,26,23,5,29,0,1,6,2,3,18,2,7,9,116,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.14212233454551276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583609183176102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325612565927563,0.0,0.0,0.18784978918730194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906735130146634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192385937668494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363928815531162,0.10404429586763743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692812096296702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043741587195706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946729349846466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112761161507805,0.15166026466318105,0.2401176148776252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230339659508276,0.1459682092816508,0.0,0.0,0.12229980384469102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463136204760032,0.0,0.0,0.14671563935665174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141223615929313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657686922878099,0.09329986211796344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437462952318308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23211033022730135,0.39775192960202943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211976441868382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217604504642061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935117236366848,0.0,0.1430892550918602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161499303369594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590146169311612,0.11560119834571513,0.0,0.0,0.13094665598857666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602668724536582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MadcapTangent,2019/02/18,"Can somebody help me? I don't know what happened. I was driving and talking to my friend in the passenger seat. We were having an emotional discussion and I felt hurt and sad, I was bringing up my past trauma. She know about my trauma, we have discussed it in length many times. I was not reliving my trauma. I started tearing up and it ramped up from there with no apparent trigger. Before I knew it I was screaming and crying, I was screaming that I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't stop, I was screaming that I didn't want to do this and I couldn't make it stop. I had no thoughts ( I think in words, not pictures) I clearly had function as I was able to signal my lane change and pull off of the highway into a safe area, but there were no thoughts I wasn't choosing what I was saying. I do not have an anxiety disorder. I have major depressive disorder with no anxiety symptoms my entire life. I started taking Lexapro a little over a month ago. There might have been some mania for one day in the early days of me taking it but nothing since. I had even noticed a significant drop in negative self talk up until this weekend. I am calling my doctor in the morning and not taking the Lexapro until I talk to her. I don't feel out of control anymore and I don't feel like hurting myself or anyone else. I am just scared and confused and I looked online for answer but nothing is fitting. I would really appreciate some help or someone to talk to who has experienced this, it was horrible. Please help. Thank you.",3.1865002547121755,5.132411317880798,4.334701986754968,84.67319918492106,74.89403973509934,6.89780947529292,28.502801833927666,7.748469712250963,1.8562313805399908,1206,51,230,17,26,394,155,302,0.193,0.693,0.113,-0.973,1,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,2,1,0,1,6,16,0,2,11,0,38,3,0,3,1,56,60,20,0,4,10,0,3,1,1,2,3,4,0,1,15,18,0,4,12,1,0,3,17,12,0,1,23,9,46,4,32,33,3,35,0,4,1,0,19,17,0,6,15,176,61,1,0.10866929688344744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632877495699556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626342934978355,0.0,0.10777074219724073,0.07598409906791062,0.11134453660046588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246956777590476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109635020737676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495770706813113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188185679265455,0.0,0.0,0.11936811990939747,0.14016541300639082,0.0,0.09359670617103273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490888577895856,0.11122763007258757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907792534065074,0.1222383325063904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177504570696915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989292330261068,0.07763336740668708,0.10433956662953847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395762920630541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19219180069633668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185162171515224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326654597311751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916541085853335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767563381216906,0.053090329359044855,0.10891518392584328,0.0,0.0,0.09125484032031304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253759950062065,0.11017361071922972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528095112674992,0.0,0.0,0.08673879600680086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20854224237362415,0.1237207147570551,0.0,0.0,0.07363712795173236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373714006249493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928625520062835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961633421991434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641818654791954,0.10879692369244824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336577654245494,0.0,0.0,0.08989236533951646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207514260414768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383337530381122,0.0,0.0,0.1817047961671419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294900819253605,0.2451173615864692,0.3493770580604383,0.0,0.10004808838979312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963089756902159,0.0,0.172542566494409,0.06336594090807457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640959668262549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719555063155653,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Effective_Revenue,2019/02/18,"Questions for people who have been to therapy These last few weeks I feel like I’ve been struggling to cope with certain things in my life. I’ve been thinking about going to therapy and I’m quite worried. How did you know you were ready for therapy? How was it when you were going to therapy? How did you cope after you stopped? This last one is the one I’ve thought about the most because I feel like I’m not going to stay in forever, so how would I cope if I stop going? Thanks to anyone who replies!!",2.4462998921251327,4.277014708737863,3.3082847896440164,91.7276267529666,76.66990291262134,6.519525350593313,25.036677454153185,7.3871296695380915,1.0422004314994604,397,14,85,5,9,126,59,103,0.087,0.784,0.13,0.6859,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,5,0,1,8,5,0,1,2,0,11,1,0,4,1,19,23,8,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,6,0,0,4,1,1,0,2,9,2,10,4,14,13,2,14,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,9,56,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022896421759447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738074169335279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449573530854143,0.20480895606702795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258611898154101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877772575338875,0.23368783313104546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012476078738095,0.14006058601477164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19426625183682805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937619160956862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057729518260044,0.15246323787990476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15278487920843425,0.0,0.23968282491478585,0.0,0.1498535342866977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319712465406355,0.6557021977391103,0.0,0.09523091529011037,0.09184859498889307,0.0,0.11379856401089768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498134429063855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557207333148525,0.0,0.10182696349525247,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dreamisacloud,2019/02/18,Have you ever gone back to therapy even though you’ve done it successfully before? I got therapy a few years ago and it helped me massively but now im at a point where I feel like I need to start again but I really don’t want to. Can anyone give me some thoughts on this?,1.7482758620689651,3.3431910689655204,3.5822758620689648,90.04031034482759,77.9655172413793,8.088275862068969,20.220689655172414,8.841846274778883,1.0317613793103448,214,5,50,5,5,72,46,58,0.0,0.8590000000000001,0.141,0.7634,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,9,12,4,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,7,2,5,8,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,8,33,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20327474858383074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034304019016002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632980641993995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19513097877237648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346698279229864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146101855017471,0.20742940030107135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594903166500885,0.16382335650334598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199807493697772,0.0,0.0,0.18340490915190244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370564376288584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24770057077242186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203218724114876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003486712548324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21677768892754135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690566595701662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623110057334607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5244855350226313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253017510785363,0.18205124501903974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525648538207974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767194977908474
mentalhealth,PikpikTurnip,2019/02/18,"I just wanted to have a good life. It was never an option. I must resign myself to misery until death. No matter who it is, they'll always attack me. They don't really care about me. God only knows why I'm permitted around. I'm just an annoying piece of shit to them. I'm stupid. I'm bafflingly incompetent. Well it's not my fault. I didn't choose to be born to incompetent parents. I didn't choose to be raised, or should I say not raised after a certain point? I didn't choose to be fucked up in just the right way so that I'm childish to the point of not wanting to change my behavior. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. I didn't do it, and if I did, it wasn't on purpose. Why? Why don't you like me? Why do I upset you? Why am I not valuable? Why isn't there someone out there that loves and understands me? Even the weird and bad parts? Why?",-1.0928390166534498,0.9649114845360884,1.431340206185567,98.09040444091991,93.94845360824742,4.634099920697858,14.678033306899287,6.297961479604792,-0.6915544805709755,684,14,166,8,26,232,95,194,0.263,0.628,0.109,-0.9872,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,3,0,10,21,5,1,7,0,21,4,1,1,3,32,33,7,1,5,13,1,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,12,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,18,14,1,0,7,1,26,7,19,20,2,13,0,1,0,2,9,8,2,3,5,109,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401698164650176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128395645942556,0.0,0.1422150725841244,0.0,0.0,0.10437677095410497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274543689908816,0.0,0.13224228451188927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082566852256452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556822770094152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485109339765783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687013332749745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829711171921338,0.061072777275974724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128249384767952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641416479758304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507450176361977,0.0,0.0,0.138807005938914,0.13537188741165698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23634664002006697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800835656119037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675646863532004,0.0,0.0994116767281942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831929982110254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591918989401973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013812632446092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746635605873196,0.09922582887452452,0.0,0.0,0.11239754141610374,0.0,0.7896042981064063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,versavera,2019/02/18,"Am I Rapid Cycling or just regular moody? So this definitely isn't my asking for a diagnosis. Don't take it as that don't think, don't think I'd ask for that, etcetera. 

Here's the thing though: I'm currently stuck at home due to a medical leave from school so I haven't seen my therapist in a while. Before I had to get pulled out of school though my therapist told me that she thought I might be bipolar. The h ypomanic, less severe type. I mentioned it to my mother and my mother didn't take it seriously but then again my mother doesn't take anything having to do with mental illness seriously. What I got sent to the counselors office for being eminently suicidal High School (by the way didn't help at all I still hate whoever did that to me) my mom didn't take it seriously at all and said that it was just my hormones acting up because I was near my period. So I don't really know.

Anyways since my therapist is around right now and I'm a bit too anxious to contact her online so I'm not even sure where lied to do that, I thought I might ask a community of people who could have some experience with what I'm talking about.

Basically today and other days I experience this thing that is like really Rapid Cycling. I go from suicidal and hopeless to feeling just fine. I don't want to attribute this to the idea of me having bipolar disorder or something but I do want to know what's up. I don't really get it but it is kind of a nuisance. Is this a normal facet of depression or is a related to something else? Does this happen to you or anyone you know?",3.2584639498432573,4.736290796238247,4.9964313479623845,81.96761253918497,73.63949843260187,8.489579937304075,27.180062695924764,9.065960079200117,2.1730801504702195,1240,46,253,27,25,422,155,319,0.17,0.7859999999999999,0.044,-0.9918,1,0,2,0,0,1,23.0,0,2,0,0,19,11,1,0,13,0,33,4,0,1,3,40,65,21,2,4,11,4,1,1,0,2,4,1,1,0,26,9,0,0,9,0,0,4,13,7,0,0,15,3,33,4,38,45,5,27,0,2,1,0,19,12,0,7,11,179,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010200004918612,0.0,0.06814626150049148,0.0,0.08020123284550043,0.08676001617708695,0.2733356849690192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941067953784975,0.0,0.08293123724296989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640102100198263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781383786402839,0.0,0.0,0.0628536036172584,0.0,0.08394211015932816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169754361775698,0.0,0.08528785701828312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141528053034189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064371376300525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906690599302552,0.0,0.0,0.04927867790957202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183760034242964,0.0,0.055388734253037614,0.0,0.07794762332507169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618350989986302,0.0,0.0,0.09622152117539642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532534858728345,0.10297178568561337,0.09776027395872884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002041810706377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148953800659836,0.16068431540257436,0.0,0.0,0.10319601252692544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047614007562492684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818064401851327,0.0982167044745546,0.2067792061201548,0.0,0.11414391286151312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549005605659973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675664563952444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730601433659974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323026283834599,0.09270672838247797,0.0,0.0,0.2959040106841407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010200004918612,0.0,0.08061987587494401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500588584298227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783164014106941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132107288259321,0.0,0.09185484733231723,0.0,0.2931110065726258,0.07833461425784627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33947553307330475,0.12949611735390562,0.12489679847389044,0.19150780760185168,0.1547446242112462,0.0,0.0,0.09238063474329164,0.09312715659804924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496880452751015,0.07735917011071954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Foster1229,2019/02/18,Really bad week Just having a bad week.horrible anxiety  which is leading into worse depression.dont want to get up or do anything .feel so agitated all the time and just can’t handle it.just needed to get it out a bit.if anyone else is dealing with this feel free to reach out .i feel alone and worthless atm and it’s getting old ,3.93095238095238,6.487390269841274,4.4256349206349235,82.03464285714288,74.87301587301587,7.374603174603175,26.37301587301588,8.344100000000001,1.9836158730158728,269,10,48,5,6,85,51,63,0.279,0.6459999999999999,0.075,-0.9473,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,1,17,13,5,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,3,0,0,0,3,1,2,8,13,1,8,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,3,29,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22027302841143495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270012703855824,0.0,0.0,0.14871126644754906,0.2179164753282382,0.17501806620783034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35515894416925226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23219220300739446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21926442743958016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492601561005517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17766740550781798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32261320457353904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333506090893815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770001866300587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231725817907616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624868037227858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401580643416373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544456692700187,0.0,0.3411992024616954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673976804685466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sexton-Hardcastle00,2019/02/18,"I think I’m paranoid So far the past 5 days, I’ve felt untrustworthy towards my girlfriend. Whenever she doesn’t respond to my Snapchats right away, I get worried and anxious because I think she doesn’t want to talk to me and isn’t interested anymore. On the other hand, she does so many other things that suggests this isn’t true. For example, she was very affectionate when we saw each other the other day and is always supportive of me. I’m usually not a paranoid person but I don’t get why I’m suddenly like this. Is this just a temporary thing?",3.6383995922528034,5.491387926605505,4.9388379204892985,81.22479102956169,73.40366972477064,8.147196738022426,30.45973496432212,8.841846274778883,2.6075007135575943,440,20,84,9,9,146,70,109,0.06,0.804,0.13699999999999998,0.7812,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,5,0,8,1,1,0,1,13,19,7,0,1,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,10,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,3,13,5,8,16,1,11,0,0,1,0,10,5,0,0,7,54,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17842466423120107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422472091351309,0.21265899882531009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146599317521646,0.0,0.0,0.1307158026596822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27658189775961606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18765095390243008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20588841948118727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22406381770496087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476068048355253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174004676486371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046996791236347,0.0,0.1872338168968896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831238204498153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433349776238021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235237937696812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28491828494309823,0.2747988305997761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361666359245493,0.17692891905412975,0.12647759360388486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349159495066365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21776618098684267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-Off-the-Cuff-,2019/02/18,"[Success Story?] At 23 I was depressed, anxious, barely eating, a survivor of sexual assault, and thinking of suicide daily... I’m 28 now and completely off meds since August and I can’t remember the last time I felt this good on the daily.

*I’m happy.* I can deal with stress. I’m independent. I have goals.

It took 3 hospitalizations, 6 different medications, regular therapy with a PsyD., Psychiatrist visits, family support (dysfunctional at first, but they got it together), and a lot of tweaking of my lifestyle and emotional addictions. It’s a cliche, but NEVER GIVE UP. 

My recovery looked a lot like a tango always taking steps back and then forward just a little bit. A lot of dead ends. A significant amount of repeating patterns, then getting pissed off at myself, and looking at what was leading me back there. Reading countless books, reddit threads, watched documentaries, and perused medication reviews.

By far the most beneficial choices I made were eating healthy, mild-moderate exercise, regulating my sleep schedule, and getting out of toxic relationships. Though traditional treatment (meds/therapy) helped here and there, nurturing myself with consistency (that’s the key) propelled me more.

Be as holistic with your treatment as possible! 

I hope that anyone struggling can read this and know that the many years of treatment are not in vain and results may come much later. That’s okay. Keep going.
",6.01062421071622,9.091325858921168,6.4168536893379065,67.71989716759879,70.49377593360995,9.170557459859284,35.37452642973119,9.653516015845867,4.3437701966444155,1136,60,160,30,23,366,165,241,0.103,0.762,0.135,0.7334,1,0,0,0,0,1,54.0,0,1,1,4,8,14,2,2,14,1,10,8,2,4,1,38,30,19,2,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,10,18,2,1,4,4,0,7,3,6,0,1,7,4,16,8,25,21,8,34,0,1,3,0,7,13,1,6,17,108,26,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293016893176887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869247348482876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399479476314405,0.0,0.08293440918016635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824065241490695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949068105375466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217144506555964,0.12435963762391546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222810226711558,0.10215805178615872,0.0,0.0,0.12392151685540286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427339338292965,0.0,0.1334195444829267,0.10505267119644586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118143309338862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388356799231733,0.0,0.0,0.10088904504354758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393697072677125,0.1137808878910874,0.0674084219642744,0.09948388802677456,0.09486272533697762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262618492522003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950134123697593,0.0,0.0,0.11780583840747567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542543223950207,0.0,0.0,0.0651845920280156,0.09668244366589193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057946532927075176,0.11887771968666633,0.0,0.0,0.1992039481847788,0.0,0.0,0.3025122611654776,0.0,0.11223102650894376,0.0,0.12025125551700785,0.0,0.0,0.13174823952488193,0.23897286587159025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719151315673256,0.0,0.09147883597685022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371421083583954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23728287716896734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734204415516984,0.13436126208427307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811487272590308,0.0,0.11869499945999527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586659961952338,0.12399623628401645,0.0,0.12973936821115134,0.1345964748234002,0.0,0.0,0.08917946347698494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712802371656339,0.0,0.0,0.07600007661353296,0.11653307552853795,0.0,0.06916206069193054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177934229047536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638052698069757
mentalhealth,cokme,2019/02/18,Any ideas of what i could have ?? i suffer from some symptoms of narcissism i think i am more intelligent that a lot of people. i struggle to relate to children and do not like them as i find tgem below me as i do with a lot if people it has been ruining my life. i have bad insecurities though . i hate alot about myself and think i try to act 'cool' to hide my insecurities . i suffer from depression and trust issues but i do not know what my lack if empathy for people could be as half the time im self hating the other half im loving myself and the moods change v quickly can somebody pls talk to me or just support me . at least help me grasp what i could be suffering from . ,2.2004047619047604,3.880580421428576,4.131428571428572,86.22190476190477,76.92857142857143,6.9523809523809526,21.666666666666664,7.793537801064563,0.8390238095238098,529,14,113,8,12,180,86,140,0.215,0.667,0.118,-0.8755,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,4,17,2,3,6,1,14,3,0,0,0,26,21,12,0,6,7,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,11,0,2,1,1,23,5,19,15,7,5,0,5,0,1,6,2,0,7,3,89,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938873329612588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430943744847834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17016608846333492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38529528697909293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854647755576222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702099841736396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176272981130656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781950709473144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158873250879307,0.3475077790762929,0.16789361788020735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840316997523825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361853116291094,0.07858693351377126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735108815481172,0.1451803296697174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33455536857668045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780963409791208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816336516756156,0.0,0.0,0.18253938042240064,0.0,0.16719271295613086,0.0,0.12929130391783386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061422026883189,0.15804184644216196,0.0,0.09379740237629604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921180060413806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yekat_zamo,2019/02/18,"I'm [22, F] having a really tough time lately. I'm a college senior who cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have had the worst college experience imaginable because of the people who have harassed me, manipulated me, and drove me to suicide. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type ii by two psychiatrists a year ago. My mom refused to believe me and flushes every bit of medication I was given. I go to one therapist regularly, but I feel like it isn't enough anymore. My friend group is very toxic and enables me to binge drink and eat. I miss class due to my depression constantly and I feel so burnt out as an art major. I need help. I don't know what to do. ",3.17622994652406,4.806700794117654,5.37005347593583,78.58296791443851,74.14705882352942,8.474866310160428,28.540106951871657,9.095868883498916,2.4970529411764706,532,22,104,12,11,186,94,136,0.152,0.768,0.08,-0.7224,0,0,1,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,1,1,7,1,0,9,0,11,5,0,1,0,15,22,8,1,1,1,1,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,7,2,1,4,2,0,2,3,5,0,2,5,4,17,2,14,17,4,12,0,2,1,0,7,2,0,0,9,66,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474330389236108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18431157398639755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329139827697685,0.0,0.0,0.20938739123867414,0.0,0.0,0.2028982085574858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083598773469108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007086786832106,0.18863211172226715,0.0,0.0,0.21299825214921786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18206058013593496,0.0,0.19016920727148928,0.0,0.0,0.16460643048968976,0.19203097356770132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565852077389227,0.0,0.0,0.18179529821648896,0.0,0.0,0.18794096849403732,0.13277006216031365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358593502918907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056218713728186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457019751254192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021373649470928,0.0,0.2096449766022341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907960914819824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722260932068854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176632819802662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780415906208093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593561740330145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12884381025739516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190591794547745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809703268853264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20328787504403467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21578419975370847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836963787928057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154678361042606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533443105380473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968021147890075
mentalhealth,ft5rfh,2019/02/18,"Fear of being weird I have a really bad fear that the manner in which I talk is abnormal. I'm not scared to tell my opinion or even stand up for loved ones, its not like that. Its fear that I am unable to properly communicate and properly share my ideas or keep a conversation going. I'm scared I'm not able to interact with people properly. Due to that I'm not even able to really talk to my own friends or family. Its super lonely even though I have people who might want to be around me. I hate it so much.",2.9685849056603786,4.154310716981133,4.828443396226415,84.04474056603777,73.90566037735849,9.073584905660377,21.740566037735853,9.516144504307137,1.5832301886792457,400,9,87,10,8,137,64,106,0.195,0.649,0.156,-0.6954,0,2,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,14,1,5,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,15,16,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,0,0,9,5,13,13,2,6,0,1,0,1,9,3,0,5,2,58,19,0,0.3120702286327098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890433310685216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028280286307722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091791642112234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709601900790825,0.5267486518496929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205523422589794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867835129660499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540523713379056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614465140377353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869117898481312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623087521691063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082778268810806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655285982650033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470376265287956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573343168126056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635020322767648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19992017947701468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124367399528967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25083022876480954,0.13638156743855254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533037075822715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092033553154197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cracktestdummy,2019/02/18,"People who have had to deal with the loss of somebody close to them, how did you deal with it? Somebody very dear to me has terminal cancer, it’s become very apparent the last couple of weeks that he doesn’t have long left. The last time I saw him I could barely recognise him, and it destroyed me. I’m just worried that given my past struggles with anxiety and depression, and various other issues, that it will send me on a downward spiral. How do I cope with it?? ",6.558804347826087,6.046684228260872,6.720782608695654,79.65030434782612,65.41304347826087,9.53391304347826,31.44347826086956,8.841846274778883,2.4212626086956512,367,12,71,5,5,118,64,92,0.205,0.767,0.029,-0.9489,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,1,3,5,1,1,4,0,9,1,0,2,0,12,12,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,4,1,11,1,10,6,1,11,0,2,1,0,9,4,0,0,6,51,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462534967903078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376685167202376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181753766975938,0.2381117254066744,0.0,0.0,0.4437179453567221,0.185349123886958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22461007691648735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35082905195244146,0.0,0.0,0.23381250207385634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19044284349449345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20543017817300965,0.14919071575916565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249709480426541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548327940218992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551206286287852,0.0,0.0,0.17261829796282616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21854330965102986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UndeadMarine55,2019/02/18,"Best friend struggles with anxiety and potentially bipolar/ depression, is starting to mentally deteriorate. Not sure what to do It just sank in today after a two hour long convo with my friend that he’s starting to lose his mind. We initially bonded due to our shared family histories — his dad had a bipolar break and was committed several times as was my mom. 

I always knew that he was struggling— he always seemed mildly depressed and a bit “off” at times. Largely he was able to cope, hold down a job, go to school, etc. He started having some problems and went to a psychologist (a good thing). 

Lately he’s opened up (another good thing) and revealed that he’s worried about seeing things, is possibly hearing voices, and is having intrusive thoughts about people being out to get him or watching him. For example, today he mentioned that he was thinking for awhile that people were listening in on him via live TV, and he’s “choosing to ignore it now since he can’t do anything about it”. He also was paranoid about sharing his new address with me, since he would be “anxious thinking about it the whole rest of the day”. 

He’s really paranoid about people now, saying things like “i don’t know anymore about this person or that person” even though he’s talking about best friends he’s known for years. Like wtf, I’ve stayed at your house multiple times, why the paranoia. 

I probed him a bit about these “odd thoughts” and he seems to recognize that they’re somewhat abherrant. He’s scared that he’s going to descend into madness like his dad. 

I honestly just don’t know what I can do to help or how to process this. I’ve watched my mom and his dad descend into complete madness, and it’s just hard to think about seeing my friend do the same.

Fuck, I wish there was better mental healthcare.",6.4956763590391935,7.1519222507374645,6.2650063211125175,78.89778761061949,65.43067846607671,8.935018963337546,33.25200168563001,8.841846274778883,2.772433796881584,1429,58,256,21,21,447,185,339,0.135,0.725,0.141,0.7432,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,2,1,0,4,20,26,3,2,11,0,25,3,0,1,2,50,48,17,0,3,7,5,1,3,4,1,2,4,1,2,22,18,0,2,13,1,0,3,4,10,0,1,13,9,23,16,44,32,10,35,0,3,4,1,50,12,1,7,21,158,45,2,0.08966159565230791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170234564930836,0.1492112604467844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401800077998572,0.06859087525943616,0.10129208192856956,0.0889202100976322,0.0,0.0,0.07378385355878707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881886259124768,0.07929839508218134,0.1957744806052857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400847715820106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578243116769997,0.0,0.15445080190581936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999638012475258,0.059220638309701236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452497270333252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770893055430742,0.08289070039285461,0.04684448308244223,0.0,0.10191350212297846,0.1504077849351265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031917837228313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010551347064351,0.0,0.0600982775804207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882986107644588,0.1034574431864958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897529867374535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985513362344168,0.0,0.10114218528001732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141237996075414,0.0,0.07917283163756955,0.07934769066642099,0.0,0.1003083909869848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071559957033187,0.0,0.09053265196105093,0.2100211543487099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659572779776553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864801829327208,0.15657809382926066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101079977195676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579403797626854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057439514091239666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130249961565285,0.08976689883978778,0.09074232160427154,0.1428973664179343,0.16324909845566832,0.0,0.10129208192856956,0.0,0.1483379969219061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903888166652112,0.0955673311104532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373376739534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450499280090149,0.0,0.0,0.07206659426444552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382687203244938,0.17235459035233305,0.08809206249160635,0.14236258330102086,0.1568471923929387,0.0,0.1699774176463732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758635061290204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311719745077732,0.08090564410712929,0.10010396954562448,0.10310641006547899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105570266234332,0.0,0.06369302503454559,0.0,0.0,0.057739127929200475
mentalhealth,transthrowaway12344,2019/02/18,"I can't even cry. My ex and her friends think I only wanted her for sex.  I really did like her, and I liked talking to her and being with her.  But one time, in the bedroom she mentioned a guy she had sex with and I said what about me? It was pathetic, and I think after that she thought I was only with her for the sex.  I feel so sad now, and I don't know what to do.  I've never felt so horrible in my life.  On top of that, when I was a kid the first time I masturbated, I was thinking about my friend (a guy). I felt bad afterwards because it was gay, but nobody will believe me about that either.",1.5187692307692338,2.457500261538464,3.549230769230772,92.77076923076923,77.15384615384616,6.7384615384615385,22.23076923076923,7.1686216300943375,0.4479846153846152,454,12,111,5,10,155,72,130,0.08,0.83,0.09,-0.184,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,8,6,0,0,6,0,12,5,0,0,1,22,22,11,0,1,3,1,3,2,2,1,1,1,1,3,7,9,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,11,4,27,4,15,9,1,12,0,1,0,4,18,4,0,0,10,84,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575812244028667,0.11504773332571705,0.0,0.0,0.21263348423063871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20731046098927308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465403513376845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542729083198663,0.0,0.3624197762988756,0.0,0.0,0.16053319096112426,0.0,0.0,0.2916238410647091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737436950561247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372078113376547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330520621363542,0.1844073721166056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555980224051365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788797338172614,0.2870745331639233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209049313205908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952494479804815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169359922180392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627906718750527,0.0,0.14983011807247282,0.2200993436211068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131753135083057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asoda124,2019/02/18,"Sorry TL;DR: I feel guilty for complaining about pain when my friends had it bad

I always feel so bad for complaining about my pain because everyone I know has such an awful life. 

I have depression and fibromyalgia and it gets in the way a lot. I also have anxiety and many family problem. I not to complain because I feel bad when my friends are going through awful stuff too.

Someone very close just spent weeks in the hospital (depression), has many family/emotional problems, and has had many surgeries through their life. They experience so much emotional and physical pain daily, that I feel awful complaining.

One friend has heart problems, loose ligaments- constantly dislocating everything- is always sick, and just has a lot going on.

One friend has a lot of family problems and their mother has Fibro as well as a brain tumor.

Someone is adopted and faces depression and anxiety.

And a lot more. I feel like no one else is as held back as I am, so I feel guilty for it. My friends go through so much more than me and I feel like they are the definition of ""it could be worse"". It could. And I see that everyday and it makes me feel bad that I'm like this. That I'm complaining, but I'm not in the hospital constantly or that I'm not suicidal or anything, but it's hard. And I don't know what to do.",3.466999826779837,5.757037418326696,4.46210289277672,82.50885847912699,75.21513944223108,8.82736878572666,28.044517581846534,9.43228470229965,2.763684773947688,1036,43,197,28,23,336,113,251,0.211,0.693,0.096,-0.9537,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,4,0,15,28,0,0,10,3,22,9,3,1,0,46,44,29,1,6,9,1,9,3,5,0,6,0,0,0,15,15,0,1,10,0,1,3,5,19,1,3,4,10,24,9,21,37,8,16,0,3,1,0,15,5,0,6,10,138,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437433215215019,0.13396179935063174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316171100325045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624310897289011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189809953456101,0.26885033243782663,0.09814183595807484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986254472691779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397978012900514,0.0,0.1285424265523576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079987858070946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724586529261106,0.1810991417721637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691942086157197,0.07234653619549458,0.07874262568413264,0.1517729613635936,0.0,0.3256182195694888,0.11501577223739612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109633100094151,0.0,0.042056954847668984,0.0,0.13724684130713855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211052051230943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539068152347968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884793432535882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371643145316535,0.11798197283354503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27374655432453165,0.0,0.0,0.05373313242426871,0.2448374328014073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835078783769365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636428655544108,0.0,0.25696708422280073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081033875444365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414659413268682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364116227885308,0.0,0.0,0.09011107539873416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215110939534996,0.0880518979740218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664193945825254,0.0,0.06389567533916332,0.06457075100833808,0.0,0.07237749381086178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203448012296892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thegratewall22,2019/02/18,"Felt like Nothing was Real? I was walking through school last week and I was kinda feeling depressed/anxious, but it was really weird because I was walking and nothing felt real. It was like everything was fuzzy, and time was moving really slow, and I felt heavy, and I looked everywhere but it all seemed like a dream that I was trapped in. Nothing was real, not even my friends or the school I was in. It was a surreal experience, and I promise I wasn’t high or anything. It just happened. I might’ve been in some sort of shock after I heard some bad news, but it was just a very weird experience. Anyone even know what that was? Legit felt like I was going crazy. ",2.9353589743589765,5.123155330769233,3.793461538461538,87.16070512820515,76.46153846153845,6.487179487179486,26.21794871794872,7.492282038375204,1.407948717948718,523,20,102,7,12,167,68,130,0.177,0.695,0.128,-0.8722,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,4,0,17,0,0,0,1,30,28,11,0,0,8,0,5,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,9,6,0,0,7,1,0,4,2,4,0,0,22,7,13,6,6,6,3,13,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,7,9,68,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854293086580113,0.0,0.10420604239808444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573110763951572,0.07719272598647481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727639039957454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380725233212648,0.24773768978552285,0.0,0.0,0.06402814292716334,0.0,0.48634022896764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783434494401876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719669833637986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197885827941748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337919865350735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959276472222478,0.1032206898206616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24746089877984676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063376563882101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343348596742175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134588091544409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36451589692306413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4323994075119507,0.16224537353414656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563134820509578,0.0,0.11527957442319367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383921364989295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044833546498289,0.0,0.0,0.10157528113610616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anonette,2019/02/18,"How Do I Explain Non-Situational (Clinical) Depression to My Partner? I struggle with non-situational depression, anxiety and panic disorder. I take medication for this, and am mostly doing well. 
I have a full time job that I mostly enjoy, I am furthering myself with study to gain a job I'm passionate about, I have a fantastic partner of 4 months whom I am in love with, and an amazing family who support me no matter what. I own my own house and have great friends. My point being, I have no reason to be depressed from a situational standpoint. I am often stressed about money, but isn't everyone? 
Recently I have been having a couple of breakthrough depressive episodes, and my partner just can't understand this, he expresses to me that he feels like he isn't making me happy, or wants to know what's wrong constantly when there isn't anything wrong that I can quantify. It compounds my depression and anxiety because I then feel like I want to hide my sadness because I don't want him to feel bad or like he's not making me happy. It makes me feel really guilty. 

How can I explain to him effectively that it is nothing to do with either him or how happy I am with him and my life in general?",6.885914085914087,6.791678090909091,7.941731601731602,69.77325674325677,64.62770562770564,11.436696636696634,36.383949383949385,11.051253699011982,4.198006726606728,953,43,170,25,13,325,119,231,0.247,0.603,0.15,-0.9827,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,10,26,0,3,6,0,25,5,0,8,0,43,43,16,0,3,7,0,4,3,4,0,3,0,0,3,13,12,0,0,10,0,1,0,8,12,1,0,1,4,35,14,22,40,6,11,0,6,0,2,18,5,0,6,9,130,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167541479512846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011297743789697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143178934678244,0.13350600819510322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833559931366933,0.0,0.0,0.12116478671653876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4715808729180516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255017893214362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463636360231247,0.0,0.0,0.10323121646236057,0.0,0.2214753181756752,0.156460254497904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460300300929435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072923760601555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3497091343004689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635363692707166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173328904684865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060180879082785264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773463563285575,0.16049528805145338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883220101156352,0.0,0.2192855660713596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103143910059588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740554835765675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050726427478473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12848008543194056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035172673268291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015146793903419,0.11258899429573396,0.1081226082048558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230877885604176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543717999458426,0.11447801190995707,0.0,0.0,0.12426455277705585,0.0,0.0,0.08233385131672624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638530284860638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399817836207085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937659981188946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845781044876524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394522381108705,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BathFish,2019/02/18,"why do i feel like this? everyday. everyday i feel like blank-ness. it’s like i’m living my life in a dream. i feel like i’m floating around and my reality isn’t actually reality. i feel almost nothing-ness. just floating. when i’m sitting it feels like i’m not actually sitting it feels like i’m gone. nothing feels real, i feel like everything is just pretend, or that i’m in a coma or something. i feel so disconnected from my body. 

it feels like my mind is in one realm and my actually body is in another. 

why do i feel like this? what is this feeling? have any of you felt this?",-0.5346324488908181,1.6634429834710749,2.4969899956502806,88.50328403653762,98.50413223140495,5.853153545019572,22.070900391474552,7.273561745256523,1.177155371900826,455,19,98,10,19,160,55,121,0.012,0.76,0.229,0.9708,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,0,2,0,8,4,2,0,0,24,28,6,0,0,5,0,13,9,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,13,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,13,13,9,7,26,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,12,50,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.27155128314492555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288237018339976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307769181288657,0.09726341824462977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257306971987563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206063419554478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336368156753889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5628064935015564,0.5301228623376707,0.08906091472717473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551675366352164,0.4078458540473225,0.0,0.08190580711450172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365775829555492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890024918878336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285429569157007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557735639032807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140858845576767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739686944753765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ottawasucks2,2019/02/18,"Boyfriend looking for help regarding depression/bad food history Hello!

I live with my girlfriend of 1.5 years. I have a very good grasp on her mental health, how to help her specifically, and what my limitations are.

One of my limitations is her history with food. She was never bulimic or anorexic, but she has a bad relationship with food. Was once an enemy, and she often refused to eat very much. She's a lot better now, and often the relationship swings the other way, where she overeats on sweets.

We just returned from a trip back home. She is refusing to eat anything in our apartment because none of it is as good as what he mom makes (she has a fantastic relationship with her mom and misses her dearly all the time). I know that this is temporary, and she will be eating normally soon.

My question is this: what is the danger zone when it comes to food? Is it okay to let her go a day without food? I've been operating under the impression that I should always be getting at least something in her stomach so that she isn't starving herself, but it's a tough battle. Sometimes it doesn't work.

So knowing that, and considering patterns of people who have bad relationships with food, are there best practices here? It's way out of my element, as someone who will literally eat anything to get food in my stomach and never have to face any consequences.",5.5751923908344185,6.927551813229577,6.094286640726327,76.79986489407699,67.83268482490273,9.290877648076092,32.176610462602675,9.586721724236666,3.0715829658452227,1084,46,196,23,18,351,145,257,0.112,0.747,0.141,0.8159,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,2,0,0,5,13,14,2,0,13,1,25,16,3,2,3,38,34,17,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,18,15,12,4,4,0,0,3,6,6,0,1,3,2,29,8,31,25,6,25,0,1,1,0,35,10,0,5,10,148,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629957461416491,0.0,0.0,0.05418466779288941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113857733508189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061268476363553426,0.1995867041414968,0.04857177200824776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361852723354772,0.0704698807019281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863667619600622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051386567676763945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261273324916534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6744398236753485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325830884577308,0.0,0.045283591988709584,0.13366246126463294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846953878616792,0.0,0.0,0.1068147330622396,0.0,0.07992485147661173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757933751695186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147749994009633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035829659038151,0.0,0.06691055842340002,0.0,0.0,0.06774050584490096,0.0,0.0,0.053186562731830124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029801063124102,0.0,0.0,0.1866389058252261,0.0,0.0,0.058573465920330435,0.0,0.12290720249090653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806881301334173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485587201666968,0.05399276722912651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05523960575714706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925907036451368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421830686727617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751202661615241,0.06134103090697515,0.07880488178087176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464616504319241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148756222438834,0.0,0.12649146593151786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680801810117155,0.0,0.05800749165861047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513108676762919
mentalhealth,octotrot,2019/02/18,"I dance in the bathroom It's a fun, convenient way to let go. I've made it a habit that I shower and get dressed in the bathroom. Whilst I'm dressing I put whatever song on I please and spend those moments dancing too. I don't really look in the mirror rather I close my eyes and pretend to be somewhere else.

It takes what, 4 minutes for the average song? And I'm moving my body, all clean from the shower and feel great. It has helped pull me out of anxiety filled episodes and let go for a moment. 

I thought I'd share in case anyone needed a way to mix up their routines without really changing anything! ",2.400637829912025,4.287813330645161,3.5563636363636384,89.64318181818182,76.98387096774194,6.444574780058653,26.59530791788856,7.348242739294969,1.3227032258064522,479,19,99,6,11,155,84,124,0.026,0.846,0.127,0.9151,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,9,0,5,2,2,1,1,15,16,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,7,8,0,0,2,5,1,8,2,0,0,0,2,5,11,3,15,11,1,21,0,0,2,0,3,8,0,0,3,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15534070700854688,0.0,0.0,0.14198460499434026,0.0,0.16710146844292198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255544101966503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481105690989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963097009394454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267347707083598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609071678926274,0.0,0.2308078941057481,0.0,0.0,0.22387488973897185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610715556591654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.415286185399418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051965629178728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19214073054242672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21582114831773494,0.0,0.15056676869445088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228994228223728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204131862311425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601714789441486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267620545628754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120733448798913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32235990556228145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19574305095748176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,masonp17,2019/02/18,"Constant headaches Please help me. I just want a better understanding of an issue I’m facing. So far I don’t know what is going on inside my head. I’ve suffered with depression for about 9 months now. Of course it has been on and off. However, currently it does not feel like depression. It seems like my brain does not want to function and feels like there is something on the left side of my head. 
I’ve been struggling with ongoing tension headaches for about 6 months now as well. It has completely changed how I’m previewing everything around me. My mood has been significantly changed. My verbal fluency have decreased as well as my problem solving skills. My eyes have also had blurred vision. 

I’m always tired and fatigue. No motivation to do any exercise. Everything think now seems like a waste of time. I used to read a lot but my eyes are finding it hard to concentrate. 

The doctors have had me in for blood tests. All results are well. However, this problem is major to me. The problem is still causing me a lot of problems. This is because I do not feel as I used to. Just feels like I’m not here anymore. 

I’m only 18 starting university in September however I don’t want to go if I’m still like this:( ",2.1795229127432485,4.831907033898304,3.318888888888889,86.83602950408036,82.47457627118644,6.716635279347145,27.384808537350914,7.921354282810032,1.9852230382925304,964,44,186,19,27,310,124,236,0.175,0.743,0.081,-0.9686,4,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,18,21,0,2,8,0,22,11,7,6,1,41,45,12,0,8,8,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,11,2,0,2,7,10,3,0,5,7,19,10,30,40,4,23,0,4,2,0,1,10,0,6,17,116,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037684893949383,0.08363137099907655,0.0,0.0,0.06834942880132272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996777194659932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947413875680657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061269229984417674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888918635080423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220105811369922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325022131570263,0.2126499612412316,0.0,0.10538156177669578,0.10861430354651312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313615978597316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287501302488493,0.17591185178086408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066165245293847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20328107159562628,0.21541051475923476,0.0,0.0,0.09186321992068344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424293153668172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003614049878064,0.0,0.20630204576926156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673689282388468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490507144309473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05523700649935008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920310242120823,0.0,0.0,0.2946211289807864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089797058123654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045032629283076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644146949550573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103284772807432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38469338027265787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053599647239936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299886854826172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737658262668592,0.0,0.0,0.07114064409047346,0.0,0.16053291081545534,0.0,0.0,0.10507361780482516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440197898375377,0.0,0.0,0.058607488013527616,0.1155200771290104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463320268947368,0.0,0.17361466052756908,0.0,0.0,0.17784807833603156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271108438355759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dannyp97123,2019/02/18,"Does anyone else's mind scream Hi all, I've had this problem for a while, I've had a lot of trouble with mental health in the past two years, due to a lot of medium sized troubles that I just kept pushing down and leaving to fester. I've been better lately, no more painful and petrifying flashbacks or sudden moments of stopping and saying ""what's the point in it all"".

But what hasn't gone away is these brief moments of my brain just feeling as if I'm strapped to the front of a speeding train. I don't quite know how to describe it, it's almost like the opposite of a hit of dopamine, my mind's eye just feels as if I'm moving, almost vibrating, at incredibly high speeds through some kind of lightning storm, and it's screaming the entire time, and as this is happenning, I just can't think or do anything.

It has no other effect on me, apart from me feeling slightly afraid, or just some variation of sad or just generally emotional as it's happenning, and then afterwards I'm fine. And this only happens for at most 2 minutes at a time, and nearly every other day.

Does anyone else have this happen to them? Does anyone have any explaination for this, I don't want to see an actual doctor about this for the time being, as it feels like a mental heath issue, and my GP just generally shys away from the whole psychology side of anything that's wrong.",7.791172433514442,6.332447814126398,7.701561338289967,76.70145267372034,63.42379182156136,10.358707463540178,34.44695453245639,9.057496981413335,2.823006634257936,1078,37,210,14,13,347,147,269,0.129,0.82,0.051,-0.9678,0,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,3,10,14,0,1,15,0,14,5,2,2,2,50,33,24,0,4,14,0,4,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,20,10,0,2,8,0,0,5,6,9,0,1,5,9,10,5,40,26,9,36,0,1,2,0,4,14,0,13,19,137,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.10407495809246864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21358902095573765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252561714273566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22371635569361067,0.21855093596523115,0.17552762875285702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20040226076398465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943232061035721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905660554117906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878038909178892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916073387949596,0.2799902465216002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17818468156554418,0.11996682906841873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985717516638374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21570165880631487,0.07619073924455642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772407628561795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336390023263612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268151827953557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113148300028804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105950193956778,0.05861201850168405,0.0,0.12030577892586428,0.11292688860840615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420754826755547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813399322015314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21495611262671374,0.0,0.21537207609751452,0.0,0.0,0.1133520092669637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111208605084738,0.11348305672977745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180943648976347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081866666416722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204959026102227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343534018001568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481231379244314,0.0,0.0,0.08498619505683515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916412624311522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833697593270659,0.0,0.0,0.18656531496650844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418149563000252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629048984762482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907085056957635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660496842458595,0.0,0.06867906542449385
mentalhealth,yourguy66,2019/02/18,"Help me out here, is this normal or is there something wrong with me. Does anyone else feel like everyone’s out to get them, like your friends don’t like you and are plotting against you or that everyone who laughs is laughing at you or even that your going to be killed by oncoming cars or some shit while walking or driving somewhere?
",8.967948717948723,7.257625692307691,7.383076923076924,80.72025641025641,61.30769230769231,10.512820512820516,38.5897435897436,8.841846274778883,3.1693589743589747,270,11,53,3,3,80,49,65,0.133,0.632,0.235,0.7579,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,5,1,0,3,9,2,0,0,0,6,1,1,0,0,12,9,7,1,1,5,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,3,0,0,0,1,8,6,8,8,1,8,0,0,0,0,9,3,1,6,4,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124181090782434,0.2509319754533821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143161893650332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458495839105909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175606417164073,0.0,0.0,0.4680304565330113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238302712221074,0.17495868983998886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18921138292323392,0.0,0.12795166394431745,0.0,0.13918396913547482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415326011964174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709487876306463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35894157801398785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399528567345381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513893206422957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18853822714910312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677628896461509,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mayflowerpenguin,2019/02/18,"Today I (19, f) found out that my father (50, m) has cancer. I love and hate my father at the same time. I love him because he is my father. I hate him because he ruined me. He is the reason I have depression. He traumatized me. He is/was violent and aggressive. He doesn't respect my privacy. He shouts at me. He does the same thing to my mother and my siblings. He hurt me so much in the past, but I don't want to go into detail right now.

I never had a real friendship, I was bullied by my classmates *and* my teachers, the children in the neighborhood used to beat me up too, I had two relationships so far, one guy was a psychopath and the other admitted that he never loved me so everything was not real. I have no friends to talk to about this, so I'm posting it here..

I have been diagnosed with social anxiety, moderate depression and PTSD. I have been in therapy for a few months and I've been on 10 mg fluoxetine for like a month.

I just ""finished"" my third semester (I study physics), well not really because I failed two out of three exams. I *think* I passed the third exam, I don't have the results yet. One exam I already failed twice and we only have three chances to pass each exam. If I fail three times, I get kicked out of university and will never be able to study physics ever again. I only have one chance left.

So I wake up today, planning to study for my third try and my mom told me my dad has cancer during breakfast. He has been in the hospital since friday and a tumor has apparently been removed. I knew he was in the hospital and that he had a surgery but I didn't know it was because of cancer. We are visiting him tomorrow. I have an older sister and a younger brother. My sister knows about all this but I don't know about my brother.

I also want to add that my dad is not *always* horrible. Sometimes he is nice and loving. But whenever that is the case I feel very uneasy since I don't know if I should take it seriously. Whenever he is nice to me I can't help but think of the times where he beat me up. Apparently he has been doing chemotherapy for a while and I also noticed that he was doing better (mood wise) than before and my mom told me he is not as aggressive anymore because it's working. It's getting better.

Anyway, this post probably doesn't make a lot of sense but it's almost midnight.. What I'm trying to say is.. I don't know how to feel. I kinda feel rage, like I wanna break something. I don't know what to feel, I don't know if I should be sad. The whole time I'm thinking about all the things he has done to me. And now to hear that he has cancer.. it is scary. I can't concentrate. And I have one try left to pass this stupid exam. I can't deal with this. I have never lost someone. I have never dealt with someone I know suffering from cancer. This is so new to me. I don't know if I'm a bad person if I'm not sad. He traumatized me. He traumatized all of us. But he is my father. I am so conflicted, so confused, I don't know what to feel.

tl;dr: My dad who traumatized me and is the reason for my depression has cancer and I don't know how to feel.",0.9623914063232952,3.0209946377709014,3.187334646777373,89.64426587860028,82.49845201238391,6.268092691622104,21.552584670231727,7.463857097105799,0.8086385964912282,2400,76,517,38,66,819,246,646,0.197,0.715,0.087,-0.9977,2,0,1,0,0,0,93.0,3,0,0,10,27,37,7,1,27,0,72,13,1,7,9,102,118,46,0,10,18,14,6,2,1,3,7,3,0,3,27,31,1,1,25,0,0,6,27,22,1,13,22,9,88,14,57,91,10,53,0,12,0,4,64,20,0,9,26,361,115,9,0.06882482393047139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891811944114816,0.0,0.07594990464493899,0.11007837366294793,0.057267766951843824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052650801924983434,0.0,0.0682557315571545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05746585316712749,0.20977486929547626,0.0,0.05856485597702282,0.0,0.0,0.12173992755302045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709553713844386,0.17783616000393776,0.06985574753826612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060229067223859414,0.0704316903493542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062255993540643234,0.0,0.0,0.06185531389844204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879939360293304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546286702629232,0.053173888241324734,0.0,0.07191625972764057,0.0,0.039114733508376784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814739631457076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590052956806312,0.0,0.0,0.0775705786054839,0.0,0.04613182871557097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367839748643593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41606755638298826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955674515834827,0.0,0.0,0.06724866499257835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751304254932283,0.0585124041066921,0.248468362791126,0.0,0.04594110440710608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121360393559145,0.1098706356683617,0.0,0.050594164674634096,0.0,0.26540973565494463,0.06647144382667285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835751821270326,0.0,0.0,0.1865499275829231,0.10468875992893716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570108213278948,0.0,0.060095181558874625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183031277370436,0.0,0.07420480084072073,0.0,0.08045253611319779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566754346087891,0.04409094457019785,0.14152676351752674,0.0,0.07389210392999937,0.0,0.058776023584173526,0.0,0.05473226241566998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386521114278432,0.0,0.0,0.07015824068266277,0.11663009994258595,0.05298471193834746,0.06806951071342725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174770224069336,0.055318786437317996,0.0,0.0,0.07870718430737586,0.0,0.09144830964231176,0.1323005044501738,0.0,0.0,0.16052923323372228,0.0,0.1304757712213067,0.13153013737719774,0.0,0.14018261300608492,0.0,0.1344637046840322,0.0,0.08278778901129766,0.059442550084621286,0.0,0.05678768766129873,0.08118932868778456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188178224256444,0.0,0.0,0.07684045804221122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050105291521080016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kikisalami,2019/02/18,"Need advice, boyf has severe issues and don't know how to help anymore. I will try to keep this as short as possible. Been with this guy almost two years. Recently went on a break because I felt like maybe being in a relationship was putting to much stress on him. He was fine when I met him, charming, bit shy, liked to make music, good to talk to, very smart about 8 months in (Nov 17) first flashes of paranoia, feel like this was made worse by a bad trip on truffles in Amsterdam (Jan 18) and by (Apr 18) he was admitted to psychiatric ward. Came out after 2 months, didn't want his medication, continued smoking weed, lost all his friends due to multiple outbursts. Went back in (Aug 18) came out and pretty much the same story again regarding medication and overusing weed. I stopped living with him Sept 2018 cos I just felt like he needed space also he would become irritated with me and kick me out of the house when he was in a mood. But now he just seems to be more depressed, whereas before he was psychotic, aggressive or paranoid. He just seems sad and totally checked out, barely talks and just cries sometimes. I can usually cheer him up if I hang around long enough and chat with him. But it's always temporary. And because I work full time and am also in uni full time I can't be there for him 24/7. I tried every thing and approach I could when we did live together, and nothing has worked and it's breaking my heart. I now it's not about me but he is such a great guy and it's a shame to see him just give up on himself and be so trapped in his own mind. Felt like us being on a break would make him more self sufficient but now he is going into hospital again (Feb 19). I feel hopeless and helpless. I literally am at my wits end. I know there's no magic cure but feel like it's just a cycle of hospital stays, and nothing changes. I don't want to give up on him at all. I'd do anything to support him. But I just really don't know what to do for him anymore? Any help is appreciated.

TL:DR - Boyf has mental health issues (psychosis, major depression) has completely checked out of life and I don't know how to support him anymore.",3.4813239119735653,4.880238092807424,4.397371862476273,86.79797440764959,72.94431554524363,7.637235463685579,26.74970118821627,8.199878495009871,1.580867904098994,1682,59,352,26,33,544,227,431,0.108,0.777,0.115,0.7146,0,1,0,0,0,1,55.0,2,0,0,4,27,26,1,2,10,0,35,5,1,6,3,82,68,36,0,8,16,0,6,6,3,3,4,0,0,3,10,32,0,2,13,1,2,9,8,10,0,2,19,7,41,15,56,40,14,65,0,6,1,0,44,29,0,5,29,218,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896925105460566,0.0,0.0,0.08092226197868534,0.0,0.0,0.12925180001969433,0.06724265371414782,0.0,0.0,0.05495541825444778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24043349856628904,0.0,0.0,0.06650197980625441,0.07194045077728058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062139990545696,0.06747524254183979,0.09852536353182996,0.08925129599522869,0.06876566941388472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822655586441752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848564373351385,0.0,0.0,0.08548913843723177,0.0,0.08473059549011429,0.0,0.0,0.06452237815657336,0.0,0.08876897415741453,0.0,0.0,0.13920774822660875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157608013639195,0.08350113851482903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808819888720401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258401250019435,0.11546524131079546,0.2327786422563272,0.0,0.0,0.06873925518197893,0.0,0.0,0.06243570413096184,0.0,0.0,0.15504584237469307,0.045927728989968435,0.06778187227975188,0.0,0.08909630498928847,0.0,0.16003458894267006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859001384294186,0.0,0.09576345788624484,0.10833412052298104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932470244606205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869495998059975,0.0,0.07183005534697583,0.0,0.0,0.1776502217228003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05708041142236096,0.2368860669896833,0.0,0.1427182180602871,0.07151671087722455,0.0,0.0,0.08821662610113487,0.0,0.0,0.07646694611098534,0.10788623127178117,0.0,0.08118723546752697,0.0,0.0,0.1628206194401545,0.08144021065344674,0.0,0.08159780632389405,0.0,0.12900787826795254,0.0,0.11881328978773653,0.11984321029029806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508396159748952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110419526851836,0.0,0.08221558514959106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123910048034352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177069537487953,0.0,0.07979280800475441,0.08676261396664768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439727201508222,0.14713772357035132,0.08430528767539178,0.0912953669677908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992584277370876,0.0,0.0,0.08613560307718719,0.0,0.06756304936142943,0.09257069345757954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341062551413712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990840042425322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536883778198737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424508947947828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973305933206776,0.0,0.07894228125564011,0.0,0.09720774747385863,0.0,0.08900378984450223,0.06667895432079443,0.09533086769085296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982839523338445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766523984885124,0.0,0.08235506190971344,0.1148140700260882,0.0,0.0,0.05204073973337688
mentalhealth,Momomamama,2019/02/18,"Help with how to be a good friend Hello there, and sorry for the vague title. A childhood friend of mine recently told me that he has been struggling with depression and anxiety for the last 3 years. I have had my suspicions about this, mainly because he suffers from a rare type of migraine that impacts his life quite heavily. He will have migraine 9 out of 10 days, and the period may last 8+ hours.  

The reason I am reaching out is that he told me he wanted to talk about his issues to me, so that it was not only family and shrinks. I want to be supportive, understand him if that is possible, at the bare minimum, not make matters worse. I hope you can offer me insight into how to deal with this the best way.  

To give you some more backstory. I think that he feels that he is missing out on a lot of things in life. He is not done with high school, his younger sister who is 4 years younger than him finished last year. We have friends who moved to other cities and countries. While this is happening, he is standing still. He just now exhausted our hospital of all the different options they had for treating him, so now he has to be transferred to a new hospital. He is also now hospitalised because of his mental health, mainly because of panic attacks.  

",5.845809523809521,6.2431253632653085,6.047755102040818,80.79462585034014,66.79591836734693,9.472108843537416,32.65986394557823,9.3871,2.845851700680272,994,40,191,18,15,317,145,245,0.107,0.78,0.113,0.5544,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,2,1,2,13,15,1,2,12,0,25,6,0,4,1,36,38,12,0,4,5,1,1,0,3,2,6,0,0,0,15,14,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,7,1,23,8,34,26,7,29,0,3,0,0,38,8,0,6,18,137,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081597325550253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096441138474715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341975198288884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23054836559259065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229985229336105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130297839987717,0.12996984940440914,0.10858157967652347,0.0,0.0,0.1317134951265159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901061624224167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884502954978922,0.0,0.06374341414143403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921978468491616,0.0,0.0,0.1209352403281206,0.0,0.1057392689606198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148089593211774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400364338794005,0.0,0.0,0.08450025296080263,0.13319702269378608,0.0,0.12521327301911295,0.12415089493538173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315815065720617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30828502335392205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780901227060043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071779091794669,0.0,0.0,0.08415090083755547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704618578479113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398958747842887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175658269813545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958798615018056,0.0,0.1479128123544468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212193736962314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408809014050113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961817958365632,0.12447624863348952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758683673672386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112201965764262,0.0,0.0,0.1006775076215176,0.0,0.0,0.13179291278816407,0.0,0.0,0.14305967664505076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013281193827942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375351154250799,0.08077883465816349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409254128829037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124050399040169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871551817584674,0.10006635379005173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847334764668386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243549621329402
mentalhealth,Jcats1,2019/02/18,"I had my first anxiety attack today I decided to create this post because I honestly have no where else to turn. 

​

For a while, I've been dealing with mild anxiety. I would say I started realizing it in November but I ignored it. I have a lot of stress in my life, mainly financial and academic stress. I'm also a perfectionist in the sense that if I don't give something my 100%, or if it's not perfect, it's a failure. I also have a hard time believing in myself and my abilities, and I know that if I at least believed in myself, I would achieve a lot more than I do.

​

Today, I took a subject test for an online tutoring job I'm applying to. I didn't pass the test but I have the option for a retake. I was trying to process it, when I realized I have so much to do and get done by the end of the week. At that point I had an anxiety attack, with shortness of breath and trembling. I managed to take deep breaths to calm myself down and not long after I broke down crying. Crying because of all the stress I'm going through, the fact that I didn't pass...I'm actually so desperate for a job now. I rely on my parents for money and I want to stop and have some financial independence. I'm in college and take a full course load so I don't have much time to balance an actual job with my academic schedule so it's ideal I do something online. Besides I am abroad for the semester so my visa does not allow me to work.

​

I've been meaning to talk to a therapist for a while but the cost is what has stopped me, however the one at my college is only available on Wednesday mornings and I have my internship then, so I really can't go. I can't go to any other therapists because I have no money and I am currently not registered with health insurance at the country I'm in. 

​

Idk what to do...I need help. ",2.6594726062468013,4.2343789735449775,4.74273254821642,82.77759600614442,75.4021164021164,8.052022529441885,28.860215053763447,8.748949900417786,2.3437612903225804,1444,63,291,30,31,499,175,378,0.159,0.763,0.077,-0.9808,6,0,2,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,0,5,11,12,2,4,26,0,31,4,2,2,3,48,50,30,0,8,11,1,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,14,15,0,3,5,0,4,5,12,8,0,2,9,2,47,4,48,39,10,46,0,1,0,0,6,20,0,8,20,216,61,13,0.0,0.0,0.15074581458941813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353400969193462,0.0,0.3347483015127227,0.3754093061465356,0.0525243220615484,0.0,0.17726001372088726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757381936547644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125025583691578,0.0,0.0,0.17404100123694072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696840943373204,0.0,0.07962873400672768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759127998157215,0.07904103984019066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452223345141513,0.0,0.06840972563579346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569839502871964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04035353916748682,0.07409349266969999,0.13168798849944385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691898575258504,0.0,0.0,0.08210012186802362,0.0,0.0,0.05177083913962501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299396618584247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04244785025959952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054555310616913065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835298273057845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132955467069213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413455832460798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355727417283512,0.05727081672850365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233830178264955,0.05874279321793353,0.0,0.0,0.08576338656333812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301464401554585,0.0,0.07397241889557107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04948048370099355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614225629497533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892279473818837,0.0,0.0,0.054669280598314315,0.0,0.0,0.12914844347792034,0.2654267625139907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614635895168375,0.062080781832934424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17935797353451585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007591225345513,0.0,0.1464247213169074,0.0,0.08581398785851843,0.052439365691571725,0.08401249816600408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04555682911753625,0.0,0.06195546822937487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056230005607956636,0.0,0.0,0.10973497032313737,0.0,0.3754093061465356,0.0
mentalhealth,breakfast_blasphemy,2019/02/18,"Learned Helplessness Hi All, 

I recently started looking into learned helplessness and I may have (undiagnosed) depression and I wonder how much that contributes to it. I went to therapy for about a month a few months after a terrible bout of depression and I wish I had known about this before or during my time in therapy. After doing a month of therapy I stopped going because it didn't feel financially worth it after that depressive episode had passed. I still struggle every once in a while and I was wondering if any of you had tips on acknowledging/overcoming depression-inducing learned helplessness. Thanks.    ",7.398901869158879,9.62785780373832,7.491670560747668,65.17339369158881,64.42056074766356,12.452803738317757,39.54322429906542,11.93303328291395,5.9298046728971965,503,28,74,19,8,162,71,107,0.253,0.6970000000000001,0.05,-0.9669,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,4,9,0,1,5,0,8,0,0,1,1,19,17,8,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,7,0,1,3,1,8,0,0,6,2,11,1,15,10,3,19,0,6,1,0,2,4,0,5,12,57,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057069580998919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475695759801496,0.0,0.13227102925117346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016499576303234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309679120908931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785969396325231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834216312370359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053344947573686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722207240645297,0.0,0.11426890963827845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16554232909725425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153481772686693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100237590270172,0.0,0.12413743592905213,0.12995778496093102,0.0,0.1625033699547722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311155490637667,0.5332898085781808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064039580775526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409774686618446,0.0,0.0,0.17875243431655738,0.0,0.337143842132089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TonySword99,2019/02/18,"Why do i wanna give out personal information to strangers? Guys u need SERIOUS help please. Im not trolling or joking. Well guys i identify as bisexual. As such, i have sometimes went to a commonly known gay chatroom online. My issue is sometimes when im there, i have this urge to give out my address. I know it’s wrong, but i feel the temptation never-the-less.

Not only on that site but in general sometimes i feel like sharing my info. Why? I think im ill.

Note im also very shy and socially awkward:/",0.4502310231023117,2.9169350792079207,3.041940594059408,85.24621122112214,94.24752475247524,6.6537293729372955,24.55511551155116,7.793537801064563,1.9851697689768981,397,18,77,10,15,137,71,101,0.118,0.7559999999999999,0.126,0.2074,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,18,12,8,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,3,3,0,0,7,1,0,1,2,3,1,0,1,2,11,4,10,11,0,8,0,0,0,1,9,5,0,1,3,41,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168795043692344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123498587403052,0.09977482825571887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679537516066651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27657541690404097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361274567746644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6034373226178443,0.14577123356426094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767547885439944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06823198156649816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355788104355296,0.10771623313429884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062195292423889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194779839311365,0.0,0.15330734738791416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236820271527145,0.0,0.0,0.4143889786438161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949001026641358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523608559775605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557324746127493,0.1294684203881124,0.2520471398048771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269888195969716,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sarasaraannee,2019/02/18,"Missing all the major life milestones I’m 33, female, single, and never been married. No kids. No house. No 4 year college degree. Most of the time I accept that my path is different. But some days it’s really hard to accept. You see your peers experiencing all of the major milestones in life one is “supposed” to have in this society. I can’t even have a normal day or a normal relationship. I have depression, anxiety, ADHD, and borderline personality disorder. I find success and happiness in little things each day in my own way. But I think it’s hard that the majority of this society gets to celebrate events together, like marriage and kids. And I’m out here on the outside wanting to connect to this society but it’s hard feeling so alone out here. Who do I celebrate with? Who can I tell my little victories to each day? (which sometimes is just staying awake.) Lonelier still, is my own lack of self acceptance in that I am truly a person with mental illness. All my life I’ve tried so hard to appear normal. I’ve desperately tried to be like everyone else. This constant rejection of my true self leaves me feeling very sad and alone. But to truly accept my path and that my brain is different, my journey is different, my place in this world is different... How do I do it? I know a perspective shift is needed. But it’s so hard. ",2.865459443280457,5.3659406536965015,4.656439688715956,79.28382744687221,78.26070038910504,8.15618078419635,27.005237952708768,8.950670267944501,2.600898353786292,1056,44,191,27,26,357,133,257,0.152,0.6829999999999999,0.165,0.5635,4,2,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,0,1,9,13,0,0,9,0,19,5,1,1,5,44,31,17,0,6,7,0,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,6,18,13,0,0,9,0,0,2,5,4,0,1,1,9,23,9,25,29,14,27,0,4,1,0,13,13,0,4,12,132,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837319509013446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20402455010824008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534926191597252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099542441219516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643931392507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254087395105032,0.0,0.08483456350363855,0.0,0.0,0.4116299247030575,0.11288508639174387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228086919912041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505575807206046,0.0,0.0,0.09411726325839284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996051951174442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002366892789668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05146015722567556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485095086674212,0.4411658828640108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136512977029505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054130891448819725,0.0,0.0,0.104293168963955,0.0,0.0,0.20871216649843774,0.09624045763338816,0.19743797544292316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926092204555784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303362466076342,0.07596627954653798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895158535730256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674351975625585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720060249649841,0.10290748117576436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309913636787423,0.0,0.0,0.1057479713315029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848865500405149,0.0,0.2055058679448843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974151808465497,0.0,0.0,0.10498375819255004,0.0786591283636697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860899499428377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543644524948683,0.06311233635551489,0.0,0.0,0.05743387943706895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337447995380396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126961403722223,0.058095563300195524,0.078181635139861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342827171517472
mentalhealth,Anonlikemydad,2019/02/18,"Seeking Advice This might be a bit long so I apologise in advance. 

I am a college sophomore with great grades (3.68 GPA), ive been asked to join countless societies and I have joined 1 and I've always wished to be in college and ""live the experience"" but I'm finding myself not wanting to do really anything at all. I've had anxiety all of my life but chose to ignore it and say I'm mentally and physically strong so I'll defeat it by myself because if I get diagnosed I won't be able to join the military like I've joined since high school. Lately, my anxiety has gotten extremely bad to the point where thinking about certain things puts me on the edge for an anxiety attack. This had honestly made me become very down and stressed and I know something isn't right with me but I don't know what. I constantly feel like I don't belong here at all or fit in with anyone and therefore cut myself off from anyone I haven't made friends with yet, and I rarely even telly family or fiance how I feel because before I send that text or say something my mind just stops me and I get to nervous to do it. I do sometimes have dark thoughts and I don't want to die I want to have a happy life and do things with my fiance but sometimes I feel it's so hard to go on anymore and I get so lost that I don't even know what I want to do in my life anymore. Because of my bad childhood I was diagnosed with PTSD but again ignored it because of my dreams but I feel it's catching up and kicking my ass. I'm already seeking therapy but it's not for another couple of weeks so I don't know what to do in the meantime. All in all it's draining me to the point where I'm always tired and rarely feel anything emotionally I just feel like I'm wearing a mask. ",2.2846215880893297,3.9549895412087928,3.8690251683800088,88.23726515420067,76.66483516483518,6.784686281460475,26.30237504431053,7.601502580125103,1.3725647997164123,1379,53,291,19,31,459,164,364,0.166,0.715,0.119,-0.9447,0,0,2,0,0,3,18.0,0,0,0,4,16,19,2,2,11,0,28,8,2,4,6,69,59,32,1,6,15,0,7,3,1,2,6,2,0,0,17,21,0,3,13,1,0,5,10,10,0,0,9,9,42,9,42,45,6,33,0,2,0,1,5,20,1,5,11,187,59,5,0.09030384948384078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088243876578131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965254345288747,0.0,0.15028007372221855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469145992149113,0.2072465930478983,0.0,0.17911430663952024,0.1262851024563686,0.0,0.14862474747713128,0.0,0.08442190914377437,0.10273366547486072,0.0,0.0,0.1507998846493884,0.22019355390128711,0.09973350694177388,0.07684192471795634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858841514439276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758638026176593,0.0,0.0,0.09991949184720172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833130126900002,0.09372113862507353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015796761034732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928968181637713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833449274535078,0.08513043245657448,0.0,0.2739620377566777,0.1290261762296363,0.0,0.0,0.0825360824360581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976853010283134,0.0,0.14154010260410646,0.0,0.05132175871469472,0.0,0.0,0.09956031285652857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613012696880648,0.08089451165382776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954109750050568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19851453610652045,0.0,0.10186667557659423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913528384776288,0.1323536983025327,0.0,0.07973995353744874,0.07991606509677815,0.0,0.0,0.09857731916977147,0.0,0.0,0.17089537167469035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100504058763774,0.095798113703354,0.09118114524491228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073265309178892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556036756590824,0.0907803108218501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05785095834156888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711899404734923,0.0,0.14362649128133806,0.0,0.09139231677007842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470027746726501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904063035915185,0.17862563240594173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549806170720208,0.10344275447888047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327032194329223,0.0,0.11998772997710197,0.057863060439617524,0.0,0.07169116945229838,0.0,0.10379099074876907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451013320835907,0.21305420047052948,0.0,0.07243630101170558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038449702755487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChronoPsyche,2019/02/18,"Anyone else feel and think like the main character of a movie after watching it in theaters? Every time after I watch a movie in the theaters, for the next couple hours, I feel and think like the character. Not just mildly, but to the extent where I feel like a completely different person and am thinking the way they would think and at least feeling the urge to act the way they act. 

Sometimes I don't like it, for example after watching the Dwayne Johnson Hercules, I felt primal and brutish like the character. Sometimes I do like it when the main character is one I like. The latest example was yesterday, after watching Alita: Battle Angel, I legitimately felt like a girl for a couple hours after. Being a guy, it was kinda weird. This only happens after watching the movie in theaters though, not at home. Does this happen to anyone else?",5.980332167832168,7.479193711538464,6.203729603729607,75.8443006993007,67.01282051282051,8.236829836829838,30.207459207459213,8.575989854853784,2.530302564102564,673,25,109,10,11,215,77,156,0.031,0.812,0.157,0.959,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,4,10,1,0,19,0,8,0,0,0,0,21,20,8,0,1,4,0,6,8,0,1,0,0,1,3,6,5,0,0,10,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,4,11,10,8,18,14,4,23,1,0,5,0,5,6,0,1,21,77,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698225034878141,0.2488521702189553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273239009169988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26873444171428945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268753370068299,0.0,0.0,0.10626993379417536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028892921987457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231552178507623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456078519028607,0.0867542878636344,0.23319624283529775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120241266026547,0.2147718611160496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218107501407554,0.0,0.23918105915412816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4746220724253175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291491370992369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822885417595012,0.09235796019629584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603370199764027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402076847722528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112465236892872,0.11931078319011873,0.0,0.07081062257020727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927813448115173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626503325817296,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jimlaila,2019/02/18,"My school principal ask me to see the school counselor I know my mind is messed up. There's even rumours spreading about me having depression and stuffs but my parents scratched it off and said that i was just being a brat. I literally have no motivations to do anything. I wake up just to fall asleep again and idont go to school for 5 weeks. My principal came to my house yesterday, alongside with several teachers and my school counselor. Ask me what's wrong. I hardly say something. I just want them to go. My mom said everything about how 'selfish' and 'bratty' i am. At this point, i dont even want to correct her. My state is so concerning that they ask me to see the school counselor today. I dont want to. It's 4am and im ready to skip school. Im scared and nobody would understand that.   ",1.90800819061802,4.349087246835449,2.8220476545048387,91.38374906924795,81.59493670886077,6.249292628443782,23.851079672375285,7.5105763829236425,1.101191660461653,627,23,130,10,17,198,91,158,0.097,0.853,0.05,-0.85,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,1,11,5,0,1,3,0,11,2,2,2,1,23,26,10,0,4,4,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,5,0,0,4,7,24,0,18,20,0,14,0,1,2,0,12,5,0,0,4,82,32,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829885403971248,0.0,0.3009333758923423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272274920318638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924174338694074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515098768752577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174143111353307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643442674798183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196225887636784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961198292799014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380992906487075,0.0,0.0,0.23180507912200066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896933837054286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083425307268315,0.125668600639795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914408223567055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143329338530506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20413396621253926,0.08532936005047395,0.10742613615236006,0.6515606835993999,0.17100860271473078,0.0,0.0,0.12121859087318172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260487256714387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283296306982767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017079650010834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117032063325475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18986516783945664,0.0,0.08606968191745347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622292479467979,0.11731583409839927,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnotherDickSlit,2019/02/18,I’ve been in the biggest rut of my life I’m not going anywhere. I don’t wanna hang out with anyone. I don’t wanna work. I don’t wanna go work out. I just wanna lay in my bed and do absolutely nothing. I have zero motivation and I really need some right now but can’t find it. ,-1.297903225806451,0.6764520322580694,2.6583064516129045,89.80745967741936,93.19354838709677,5.035483870967743,15.81451612903226,6.6274283507984215,-0.1812967741935485,214,5,49,3,8,80,41,62,0.03,0.97,0.0,-0.1326,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,0,16,11,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,1,0,8,0,10,10,1,10,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,1,35,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496374201768252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32631077284762106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4058065819410604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521745268545411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647265856938629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3425713275715309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287168274680041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048940270252967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5198311547993895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mnb_azad,2019/02/18,"I have heavy anxiety, pessimistic mindset and overthinking issues The title simplifies it. These factors are the cause of many downsides in life where people neglected me and hurt me and I’ve built a sense of guard. I never let my guard down and I’m always uptight. Whenever I am told something by someone close to me, if I find it slightly weird I will in-depth analyze it and I will try to find a problem and I will overthink it and eventually panic and when I calm down I realize it wasn’t so bad but I re-panic again. I get down easily if I hear the slightest thing that makes me off. I end up blaming the people I speak to such as my girlfriend instead of trying to understand that she hadn’t even done anything.

These factors are tearing myself up and my relationship with others. ",3.700089910089911,5.679142675324678,4.814415584415585,81.64492007992008,73.54545454545455,7.595604395604397,29.37862137862138,8.384062270229773,2.3198977022977023,628,27,115,11,13,206,97,154,0.147,0.82,0.032,-0.9153,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,2,6,0,11,1,0,2,1,26,17,15,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,0,0,11,11,0,4,4,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,4,2,23,1,17,9,0,13,0,2,0,0,6,9,0,2,4,88,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818878598214675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543550204259267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564463457328908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873595273201968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529785255462712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19455103951239544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838320019714562,0.0,0.0,0.12556747863731804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475186658323305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932590726174573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21427054538118506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20351930713991453,0.0,0.0,0.1984280025151897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944028581690262,0.13428204402297322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690153501096446,0.19274418252359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662643963890895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230559952269824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26360006753311993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819119370928763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041096211099405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610816599013566,0.14635785020549125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630226262009842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816605907583236,0.0,0.25814774520408984,0.0,0.0,0.1979137626125308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tnubls5361,2019/02/18,"I dropped out of school because I was depressed So I had been attending a super nice and high end technical school, up until the middle of January when I dropped out. I was just in a very bad place mentally and emotionally. I felt that it was the best option for me to do so because I wasn’t putting forth the effort and was just technically wasting my money by failing my classes and having poor attendance. After dropping out I felt a great sense of relief, I’ve been working full time since then trying to afford a new car (one of the reasons I was so stressed) but now I’m just feeling very down about my decision, although I cannot wait to get back on my feet and re enroll back into school, some people are being very discouraging, I agree because I feel like I let them and myself down, but i do fully intend on going back and getting my degree. I guess what I’m looking for is some words of advice, stories, or someone with a similar situation? I feel the real I’m taking to work on my mental health is well worth it because it’s giving me time to reflect on what I really want and giving me the confidence to go back and get it done when I’m ready. Also, before anyone says anything negative, I’m paying for school all on my own, so it’s not like I’ve left anyone in a bad position paying for my mistakes. TIA :)",5.312738764044943,5.3950316292134834,6.518874063670412,78.04774929775282,67.91385767790263,8.922191011235958,30.91970973782772,8.660442795831766,2.398708052434457,1043,38,200,15,16,353,148,267,0.098,0.716,0.18600000000000005,0.9733,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,6,17,15,0,1,12,0,19,2,1,2,1,41,41,22,0,2,7,0,5,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,14,0,2,8,0,5,6,4,7,1,1,12,7,30,8,34,27,6,42,0,3,1,0,4,19,0,5,16,142,38,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070144482900548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241082975279013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411302824480532,0.0,0.08480320328539563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169632101631726,0.17208861229929448,0.2512787275416267,0.0,0.08768985614189986,0.0,0.10814695580070073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875873324490864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545820853702498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591988640509485,0.09127368676635024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563189090291681,0.07362053249996428,0.19789259986216876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152160791416909,0.19771417524354534,0.1171339123833588,0.0,0.0,0.11361544552503143,0.11352364770134045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953969976076564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088803371761033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196654759239644,0.10537788545548556,0.0,0.10069222677244584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653791741876668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20770481600008395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952848426695016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983085691974734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144343962888587,0.0,0.10766764504179213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359595267431904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729599682789807,0.06601789626253046,0.1059548540335324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195126817068964,0.0,0.41717742700790905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852458681755764,0.11583502234661587,0.0,0.0,0.08731581863526912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804597935917167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748245068579349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018116611058895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996569850083269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550866425900962,0.06078287425211538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265632933143092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15004649912074516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rahe12,2019/02/18,"Help me I can’t cope anymore, time goes so slowly, I’ve done too many drugs and turned too many people away, I think about suicide hourly and even though I think in my head it would be a good idea I know it’s wrong and I some how remain in control but I am worried that I will lose this control, I can’t act normal in social settings, I’ve pushed away those people who have tried, I seem to always make mistakes, I have a lovely family but I’ve never connected with them and never been able to tell them anything they don’t know me as a person, I don’t even feel sane anymore,",3.7223770491803294,4.139803491803279,4.478811475409838,90.11362704918035,71.45901639344262,6.755737704918031,23.44672131147541,5.985473137389443,0.3748,454,10,100,2,8,146,79,122,0.125,0.797,0.078,-0.6597,0,0,1,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,3,3,9,5,0,0,3,0,12,3,1,4,2,24,21,10,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,6,5,0,2,7,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,2,1,17,2,10,16,1,12,0,1,0,1,9,5,0,2,4,64,23,0,0.14198317939146418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814137928905435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816183238758549,0.0,0.0,0.11684005888825748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667957416774797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31849241752464397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529808802444288,0.0,0.0,0.1646554114179957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875571018256108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384910535090352,0.0,0.0717909616175295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908875452724076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457157042038884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516833226912624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982483136707952,0.0,0.0,0.16028172728096954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156060484425246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884285984829669,0.0,0.0,0.1281453627942257,0.0,0.094774874761259,0.2878973175234826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190123618641213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391133699202489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968665184810596,0.12397423569809728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129256154002705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473397102619806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530655345173924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409955695009504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18195417664908006,0.13949775286413688,0.0,0.0827915337016456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963972587861334,0.15443692768159265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419081069956993,0.0,0.10086077694326788,0.15523631777165758,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jalfredo,2019/02/18,"I have social anxiety and it makes me depressed As the title stated I have social anxiety and it is making me depressed. I feel awkward in social situations especially when girls are around (I’m a guy). I feel like everything I say is wrong or stupid and I feel like people are constantly judging me.

I’m 19 and I’ve never had a girlfriend before due to my anxiety. This has taken a tremendous toll on my self esteem. I feel jealous of my friends who have girlfriends or who can talk to girls without issue. 

I’ve always felt different somehow and I hate myself for it. I just want to be like everyone else. Please help",2.3752511125238414,4.928551801652893,4.130909090909093,82.02405594405596,80.5702479338843,6.698283534647173,25.83661792752702,7.882392219407189,1.8861221869040048,492,20,88,9,13,165,76,121,0.202,0.67,0.129,-0.8625,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,11,3,1,4,0,11,0,0,2,1,20,23,9,0,1,4,0,5,3,3,0,0,1,0,4,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,6,16,4,10,19,0,8,0,2,0,0,15,3,0,3,7,58,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201860884999011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33148982105769464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858269128694216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290824905670268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608889514128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488128267417708,0.0,0.0,0.15090960704429932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206615252480493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801911243119525,0.12981383116681772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921338795392513,0.20637668123323805,0.1386855562345713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159439206752488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301882962169754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260511578516144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681543988495576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15075838229039012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116990350547796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928303453738168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114014381073523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001368739522756,0.0,0.0,0.15855232284389004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486490367296805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15068296989939325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235720301591233,0.0,0.4417167792193294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609582346825853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519476454462545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923551266703227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792304049925526,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FallOutGirl2005,2019/02/18,"I think my grandma may be a clinical sociopath Hi!

My whole life, all of my family on my dad’s side has had a horrible relationship with my dad’s mother (my grandma). I didn’t really notice it until after my grandpa died back in 2005. She always brought up his death as a way to position herself in moral superiority and didn’t seem the least bit upset or affected when he died. That was the first red flag.

She later remarried in 2012 to her new husband, Bill. Bill is one of the meanest people I have ever met. Whenever they have visited our house, we have always been cordial. I always had to take care for Bill because he is very much handicapped. I always did so without complaint even though I can’t stand him. Whenever he talks, he’s so arrogant and drones on and on in the most monotone, boring voice ever. Not to mention, he mumbles to the point of being incomprehensible. Even though we treat him with hospitality, he repeatedly insults us and treats us like dirt. Me especially, even though I was the kindest to him. My grandma always defends him. That’s not what necessarily makes me think that she’s a sociopath.

My dad has two brothers: a biological brother (my uncle CR), and an adopted brother who I will call PB (Pedo Bear). PB was arrested back in 2010 for sexual material involving underage girls being found on his computer. Grandma always brings up PB to us grandkids, despite my dad and CR’s protests. She’s always trying to manipulate everyone. She tried to get my underage little sister to go behind our father’s back and come visit her in Ohio. PB lives with her!!! She wanted my little sister, who was only one year older than a girl he tried to prey on in the 90s, to be alone in a house with that monster! She doesn’t care about the safety of her children or grandchildren.

This isn’t the only thing. She contributed to the death of my grandfather by manipulating his Bipolar Disorder and enabling his alcoholism. He died from falling down the stairs at their house while drunk. Honestly, at this point, I can’t entirely rule out the possibility of her pushing him down the stairs herself. Her manipulating and abusing Bipolar people is a common theme.

She was extremely abusive to my father and CR when they were younger and that abuse hasn’t stopped.  She’s even abusive to me. She cussed at me in front of everyone during dinner because I asked her politely to move her chair. Said I was “a horrible granddaughter” and that I “treat her like shit”, even though I’ve done nothing but be hospitable to her and her prick of a husband. Then she gave me a fake apology. She scares me and the rest of my family because she’ll terrorize all of us to be the center of attention. 

My graduation is coming soon and I really don’t want her there because she starts drama and makes everything about her. Not to mention, her provocative and over the top behavior makes everyone physically ill. I’m afraid most for my dad, because he suffers already from heart problems and she makes him deathly sick from all the stress. I’m sad that it’s come to this. The last time I invited her to an important event of mine, she insisted on embarrassing me and started a huge fight with my mother. My mom doesn’t like her, and my mom likes everyone.",5.16633351341617,6.6852042431118335,6.109035116153432,75.68483486403746,68.96758508914101,9.309403925805867,31.377237529263464,9.670409298094178,3.09999372591392,2586,109,464,59,45,855,284,617,0.158,0.787,0.055,-0.9962,0,1,1,0,2,0,69.0,8,0,3,3,23,27,5,6,32,0,39,12,3,9,5,64,67,35,6,3,7,20,0,4,0,3,7,2,0,3,16,31,3,1,5,2,3,12,13,16,0,4,19,3,99,11,77,39,10,73,1,2,1,0,106,34,2,6,29,323,115,3,0.0,0.2986904541427593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735301951477893,0.0,0.06527340179466386,0.06954806622172711,0.0,0.3670845574948159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891852153750245,0.0,0.0,0.14538368349926112,0.0,0.19209288766879468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880540513648754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435410175462751,0.0,0.12851344051493774,0.0,0.0,0.16286765071992892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622551707033467,0.0,0.07223046046923788,0.0,0.0,0.06449498373203652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081323366938549,0.1140168373273288,0.0,0.2408868515958507,0.056641512419084085,0.0,0.1188260078233368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053607808388720736,0.0,0.06910208113836905,0.0,0.0,0.0329272091738575,0.0,0.03581774182605337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468322267118505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21816218142906807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513726134721294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04451540462838021,0.12316051292207225,0.1263323290630837,0.05565095859055304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827486415113507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762486476805514,0.0,0.06698407089581854,0.04632956857120812,0.0,0.0,0.06086854748170265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060472806080545914,0.07175274137741022,0.0,0.0,0.08541279135141143,0.09586451546247443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738520292629492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915527142618898,0.07104959503028951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030503590663571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074901336827299,0.0,0.0,0.06766371809696256,0.0,0.0,0.05994983831138091,0.0,0.06309757863661965,0.0,0.0,0.05737428250444476,0.0,0.0,0.06469277920813178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921680104308498,0.0,0.0,0.052690518608859316,0.07219327564936913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04738587413747041,0.0506559506616121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04187005319230717,0.08076590561180932,0.24768131291898754,0.0,0.03674954496537987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836658186813935,0.0,0.06156486095342972,0.0,0.30323833371089165,0.0,0.0,0.05200103779603544,0.07434585776602255,0.05002516884110852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036355462736794,0.0,0.06075246334708866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04058510667083197
mentalhealth,marvelite180,2019/02/18,"Why do you think I can't help but react to something I don't want to react to, when I don't really feel that way? Like for example, if I'm afraid because I know if it sounds like I'm laughing at certain things (things you shouldn't be laughing at) I can't help but make a loud breath sound that sounds like one of those nose laughs (pushing air forcefully out of your nose to show you think it's funny) and it makes people think I'm laughing at their misery. That's why I stopped going to NAMI, because they said some things that would be horrible to laugh at(which I wasn't, but it sounded like I was), and they got upset or depressed. They have said things that show that's how they felt. A similar thing happens other times when I know I shouldn't react certain ways (and I'm not really)but I can't help but sound like I'm reacting those ways. I really don't want to, and I hate it. It happens even when I'm not anxious and even when I take multiple anxiety medicines. 

​

Can you see how socially crippling and painful it is when everyone thinks you're a bad person, mean or a ""psycho""?",4.3299702380952345,5.0548262232142855,4.773285714285716,87.43838095238097,70.25,8.116190476190477,28.32619047619048,8.238735603445708,1.7094426190476195,870,30,184,12,15,276,106,224,0.183,0.635,0.182,0.3294,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,5,5,0,10,18,1,2,4,0,17,4,3,8,2,43,45,21,0,7,10,0,2,5,0,3,1,8,0,1,21,7,0,1,9,2,0,2,11,6,0,1,6,13,24,12,14,34,1,17,0,1,1,0,17,5,0,5,12,107,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127342298686907,0.1428102361598979,0.0,0.0,0.08990913475581408,0.13277397918260048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813155635544893,0.14328881082375794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012272981586094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525319745441676,0.0,0.0,0.11230371061343462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942604268758653,0.0,0.11284598414871598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679426936275502,0.0,0.09399843883011057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20786048471809648,0.0,0.0,0.1160352604289923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363310331206342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12918140111715146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28709293410103304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15690264140153354,0.0,0.0,0.12802321036608486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964048962463009,0.0,0.12505882450532413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814796031939165,0.10262152862648297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058379101314304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22359341735560254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936551583933426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980571017238785,0.0,0.09047933614478126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825925682069156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836695670260115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3904042338489324,0.3012305846058672,0.0,0.0,0.06853193083185308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864294610601793,0.2798664375926525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210274489194844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348901729532286,0.0,0.1428102361598979,0.0
mentalhealth,HandicapedKitty,2019/02/18,"Thinking drives me insane... (very long post) And  then the nightmare begin. I don't even know her name, i don't even know  who she is. But i can't start thinking about her, i think about her in  the morning before sleep. I was trying to concentrate on the co-worker i  was angry on and still my tough directed me to her, i was trying to  paint models and couldn't concentrate, on Saturday i ran for 11  kilometres (i run first time in last two months, so you can imagine my  legs are hurting as hell) only to try to clear my head, and even then i  still was thinking about her.

I don't know if this is the right place to talk about it but i really need some help or even some kind of advice.

Let's set up a back ground for the situation.

Three  years ago i was on my lowest of the low (I'm 30 y.o now) i was single  for five years, hated my job, was overweight (had weight of 126kg) and  was smoking weed watching hentai's for 6 months every day thinking about  suicide (yeah i was in a very very deep sinkhole)

I  had a wake up call. Got fired from my job, called my friends on the  other side of the country (met them playing MMo's on team speak) asked  if i can move with them and if they could help me find a job and a place  to rent. Found a job, rented a place, started reading books, eating  healthy, started painting figures as a hobby, lost 40 kg of weight. Next  year i started jogging for sport (there was a time i was running around  10km in an hour) read even more, changed to one that requires more  interaction with people as a salesman, started going to dancing lessons,  started to learn how to swim. I also meditate once or twice a day and  for last two weeks im on no-fap.

I'm  saying all this only because i know that there will be people who will  tell me that i have to do more with my self and will propose exercise or  other kind of activities, i just want you to know, they are part of my  life now, so i need different advice.

OK now to the actual problem.

I  always think to much, i have great imagination.

Sometimes  i can get angry at someone that i didn't talk with for a month because i  was thinking about some stupid scenarios that never happened and only  when i talk with them i realize that there is no reason for me to be  angry at them. I become frustrated for no reason with my co workers for  example. One of them had to take a sick leave for two months, i hated  him so much i had so much bad stuff to tell about him but when he came  back today and started talking with me i didn't know where the anger  came from, i felt... dumb...

If this was  the only issue here then i wouldn't be writing about this but there is  more. In next two weeks my dancing school is organizing a party for all  the groups, i joined the school solo, i sometimes get some older married  women to dance with, and honestly i am really hoping that this party  will help me find a nice single girl who would at least want to go to  the school in a group for lessons (best case scenario met someone  interesting because i feel lonely and single)

Last  Thursday on valentines day, when i got to the school, i was passed by a  very cute girl from solo class before mine, she smiled to me and  blushed a little, i smiled as well but couldn't keep eye contact i was a  little too shy, cough off guard.

And  then the nightmare begin. I don't even know her name, i don't even know  who she is. But i can't start thinking about her, i think about her in  the morning before sleep. I was trying to concentrate on the co-worker i  was angry on and still my tough directed me to her, i was trying to  paint models and couldn't concentrate, on Saturday i ran for 11  kilometers (i run first time in last two months, so you can imagine my  legs are hurting as hell) only to try to clear my head, and even then i  still was thinking about her.

Is she going to be at the party?

Maybe i could ask her out?

Maybe she would want to go with me dancing?

Seriously  in the last four days i had in my head scenario of every conversation  every meeting, hell i even had at least 20 different visions of having  sex with her, cold showers don't work, swimming doesn't work, jogging  doesn't work. I think about her, about having sex with her, about dating  her, about even a fucking wedding. I feel sick, i can barely sleep, in  work i can't concentrate.

It's not the  first time this happens to me, every know and then i see a girl or i  talk with a girl and it goes on and on on a repeat.

I feel mentally ill.

I am tired.

I got so frustrated today, because of those tough i punched a wall in the room, my knuckles are bruised.

And the best part is... i'm going to go to the party and one of those three things will happen.

1. She won't be there
2. She will be with a boyfriend
3. She wont be interested even in dancing with me

And  no matter witch one of those things will happen, i will just  automatically stop thinking about her and the frustration will just  disappear. But till then, i still have two weeks of my head exploding  with stupid ideas, i don't want.

I just want it to stop.

I don't want to think any more.

Work doesn't help, exercise doesn't help.

I need any advice. Any before i get insane.",2.563684012733219,4.098187409695819,3.6502794234680382,90.67940976213636,75.56844106463879,6.375912989654258,23.06906004067557,6.976151619460117,0.6043901848085595,3993,114,865,39,86,1290,345,1052,0.14,0.762,0.098,-0.9945,10,2,0,0,0,1,130.0,0,3,7,16,62,40,13,0,51,2,94,26,11,3,5,142,175,64,1,23,20,0,7,0,1,14,9,2,4,6,29,44,4,5,40,17,2,26,28,25,1,18,39,13,141,15,141,109,23,152,3,5,3,3,79,50,5,13,74,594,170,21,0.0,0.0,0.03700430643916405,0.0,0.0,0.11116452419795816,0.033613661654935734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03032449267496877,0.03155235532022666,0.0,0.0,0.07736040092530641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033756708568812015,0.07089988734075095,0.0,0.0,0.0583160524755079,0.03166149326957127,0.09246236150720896,0.04187949833157275,0.12906800760146836,0.0,0.07958909232769833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744081903708486,0.08674041953823597,0.0,0.0,0.04011417638956232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055183397004736,0.0,0.0,0.09782067239253296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923635093093874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038801476232307036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755027574068654,0.0,0.12779644619833386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057520250991692376,0.0,0.03640900542411837,0.0,0.06931611717400955,0.09676382255091748,0.0,0.04157716147547343,0.02929678429681257,0.03505629298628666,0.059434674189487426,0.0,0.12930435764503415,0.0,0.09098391125856724,0.04180677170612376,0.0,0.0,0.1341296027971618,0.0,0.0,0.0748760083616363,0.15566683586888172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708439045907885,0.0,0.0,0.03766297004199892,0.037343416747239684,0.0,0.08118797364219814,0.0428068983191342,0.04095994822615632,0.039578474554755716,0.15051841154996726,0.033704907581636336,0.0,0.07897538309073979,0.18755783524356748,0.15454870609981008,0.0,0.04015164904101173,0.0,0.03877561875283001,0.026783913536180436,0.0,0.07601130904452594,0.0,0.03355787656038532,0.0,0.0,0.041393998870525736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619117805278852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03821429289235519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513363240958229,0.04030280255009031,0.0836263650171565,0.08435127136424726,0.029246128251776086,0.0,0.08065638753000655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040383405782902455,0.10278189483114517,0.1441987843741732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212701088555323,0.0,0.05257770291112435,0.0,0.11885452639640808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036316737075764494,0.0,0.0,0.03628417805035146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586022912873748,0.0,0.04858485753960448,0.0779758486756034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03238334719768842,0.0,0.030155389028373933,0.0,0.15350766237170851,0.030217213272260474,0.0,0.039558676601548486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04262350345448223,0.11384171453373057,0.0,0.06425873663829905,0.0,0.07500740827942765,0.0,0.21471893651746415,0.0,0.15141421759950086,0.06340538994882976,0.0,0.0,0.04340915934078856,0.04147816444634192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028511010207131475,0.1523927069674048,0.06628724566338089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050384530650455735,0.31586763793656897,0.0,0.0,0.08844548470928053,0.04358329268851485,0.07188717342020835,0.0,0.0,0.15447054602304205,0.0,0.22225311795895045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515139976804418,0.1341966703078426,0.0,0.0912510561511516,0.09235233036191036,0.03409450176061773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19324273181076584,0.0,0.0,0.05387435107223194,0.0,0.0,0.07325742607550305
mentalhealth,Wearturi,2019/02/18,"I'm frequently changing habits without any concrete reason Hey!

I've recently started to think that I'm in capable of picking up new hobbies and STICKING to them, because old habits are either bringing me  too much nostalgia or my brain in the unconcious is too afraid of a change.

E.g I was a video game addict. I used to play 4-8h a day everyday for 10 years straight just purely video games. Now that I've recently turned 20 years old, I think it's a time for a change and even though I'm a university student, I can't seem to pick up any new habits. My brain is addicted to watching different screens, whether for watching youtube through my phone or reading homework through my PC screen.

I've tried to pick up new sports, such as boxing, fencing, swimming etc., but (in the unconcious) I rather prefer to stay at home and be behind a computer. I have always been fond of trying to be an educated person, so I tried to switch from wasting time to reading, but so far not so good. I've borrowed within a 6 month span around 20 different books, but I only end up reading a quarter of all these books, because I became at numerous cases instantly and just sticked to social media.

I've come to a realization that the interent has ruined me. The constant influx of information running through social media websites has made me an ADHD monkey without any patience. I acknowledge that I have a problem and I want to have a change.

I deactivated my social media accounts, cut down on my usage of the internet and trying to read more, yet reading is still almost impossible without skipping 10 lines in every 1-2 minutes.

Am I in the right direction of becoming more stable or am I going still in the wrong direction? What should I do to get rid of the old habits and replace with the new ones?

PS: I read a book in English (English is not my native tongue) called ""The Power of Habits"" by Charles Duhigg, and his method of overcoming bad habits has not really worked YET.",7.5221352785145905,7.006786220159153,7.661765251989388,73.7054330238727,63.45623342175067,10.510822281167108,37.94814323607427,9.888512548439397,3.75356350132626,1563,72,281,28,20,508,206,377,0.076,0.887,0.037000000000000005,-0.9584,5,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,1,2,17,9,1,1,25,0,20,4,2,6,2,47,35,20,0,5,17,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,1,7,11,0,1,7,16,2,5,7,6,0,2,3,4,29,3,56,29,6,52,0,1,4,0,12,21,0,5,25,179,36,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034042444830655,0.09389374750014266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782331349416463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500811362933659,0.0,0.0,0.15938758557715266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954979823604393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523297329956597,0.09525126796864206,0.08628538689576776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443165281285886,0.0797766365207683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305929982613019,0.06729969040158308,0.0,0.08442777993919225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05038559975675858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325265269786055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919753599299241,0.0,0.08713251295120122,0.05160229828380715,0.0,0.06582556049754677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040818252858563914,0.0,0.04440150499725235,0.06552941342712341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783679813458313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392587363971631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236040925135405,0.0,0.05743250315514676,0.0,0.0,0.3018230605725607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459441550014439,0.0,0.052941032693194265,0.05941927862227887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821768333729578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475720736867589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.468890231340712,0.0,0.05005030381321544,0.08032780405141507,0.15428242768728007,0.0,0.0,0.06672022715768734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711240955308313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389226152034924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055298855195722633,0.08327323154402938,0.12478501288295885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012154811562853,0.07675960636146988,0.0,0.0911132316689022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21217304183974825,0.08497999095411586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067476841790741,0.0,0.0,0.04608146419663325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259355839350279,0.0,0.056877553604847385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541986089741456,0.0,0.10062274865961453
mentalhealth,a-nun-and-moose,2019/02/18,"(Throwaway) Every week at my therapist, I check the little box that says I don’t think about hurting myself. It’s a lie. I’m not really going to hurt myself - I have small children who need me. But I do think about it. 
What would happen to me if I told the truth? Would I be taken to a hospital or something? ",0.5831473214285694,2.7369104843750023,2.9100892857142884,90.48312500000002,84.78125,5.5321428571428575,18.517857142857142,6.868970318607317,0.2219669642857145,237,6,50,3,7,81,47,64,0.114,0.847,0.039,-0.6623,0,0,1,0,0,3,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,0,1,10,14,3,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,11,1,6,9,0,5,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,2,1,36,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20962864701559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140141531156214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22001712876640311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5327010437250569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24936762088295994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18448549409258475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939062868252524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19785944258375504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19154197372591708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888813732465207,0.0,0.3188479446273414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23774350370144945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957608116919015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534873671397013,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zaldin_Sunglimmer,2019/02/18,"Struggling without Insurance or Support I’m having daily panic/anxiety attacks at work or just when I get home from work, typically centered around my relationship, but usually triggered by any kind of stress. I had a failed suicide attempt just before Thanksgiving and it really hasn’t been as bad as it gets now. My S.O. doesn’t know how to handle me and is telling me if I don’t get help soon he’ll leave me. When I get like this I can barely breathe, go into crying fits, and basically can only describe myself as manic during these episodes or almost crippling anxiety to the point of suicidality. What are some things I can do to help myself, since my work doesn’t offer benefits and keeps everybody part time and on one income for all of us I can’t really afford to pay for therapy. My hospital bills from last year are still unpaid and I know if I don’t get help soon I’ll have more. 

I’m gonna meditate today, because I do do that and it helps, but what free resources are available to me that you find helpful? ",6.8275576662143855,6.450431502487568,7.445816372682046,74.22549525101766,64.82089552238807,10.493170511080962,33.695612844866574,10.018931242160765,3.2480109452736325,816,31,152,16,11,271,129,201,0.154,0.716,0.13,-0.51,2,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,1,1,0,5,10,10,1,2,2,0,20,1,1,2,1,28,34,20,2,2,10,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,10,9,0,1,3,0,3,1,7,5,0,1,2,0,22,6,21,30,4,19,0,1,0,0,11,7,0,7,12,103,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534532738698076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512373139800022,0.0,0.19151805237836536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143286327587287,0.0,0.14240536770287354,0.0,0.0,0.10451643540501343,0.07630591166044885,0.0,0.10651525470134053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374995687898383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440827224195248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32699554170605183,0.0,0.07114020401338325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4195129829573474,0.0,0.12556137863805406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126186519678777,0.0,0.1303511722443353,0.1375865222852974,0.10203485805600436,0.0,0.13254293465156256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611544975268096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482225696417484,0.09520171903584264,0.0,0.1468666493985724,0.0,0.1355530258024212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833144534482172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603814476299529,0.0,0.0,0.13439179759290712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354658748972256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996543219487364,0.0,0.1433882789996209,0.1308607632264657,0.0,0.2738436787023547,0.14204783911858426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940903150975764,0.0,0.14314925979865226,0.0,0.08316113675221458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299092552882452,0.0,0.11865187553303205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057088906969912,0.0,0.13786328883984578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066485536181258,0.0,0.2733880822833399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060901165934953
mentalhealth,faultypancreas,2019/02/18,"broken brain and bubble guts WHY do my mental illnesses have to work together with my stomach/internal physical processes as the universe's most effective tag team duo to further ruin my life and prevent any chance of happiness or semblance of normalcy i may have? i am a useless blob that exists only in my bed or on the toilet.

(thx weed brownies 4 lightheartedness)",7.964253731343284,8.672723298507464,8.554440298507462,63.56509328358211,62.28358208955224,12.073134328358213,40.630597014925364,11.698219412168324,5.4747044776119385,299,16,44,9,4,100,57,67,0.17,0.6970000000000001,0.133,-0.5868,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,3,0,5,4,2,1,0,9,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,8,4,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,4,0,28,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713850968954874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455003584078701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248234032579197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818789025127286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4021743471597683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30351498132007504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601036620821645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905317940604229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,an_swamp_ghoul,2019/02/18,"Surgery and mental health So three weeks ago. I had to undergo an emergency surgery for appendicitis. I went into the hospital on a Friday and came out Saturday. These past three weeks I’ve been in a really good mental state, and I don’t know if it’s just coincidence and I’m looking into it too much or if having to go under the knife to fix something unrelated to my brain has anything to do with it. Has anyone else had a similar experience?",2.459457070707071,4.8930776477272735,4.7165151515151535,78.66282828282829,79.3409090909091,8.456565656565656,25.68686868686868,9.150863307647796,2.5324580808080808,355,14,67,10,9,123,63,88,0.032,0.929,0.039,0.1513,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,0,8,2,1,0,0,14,14,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,5,1,4,1,13,9,1,15,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,3,5,48,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966252850441693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509794601584234,0.22727530020963504,0.18253453980282866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24761848442155626,0.0,0.2536968434388362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18529765986456287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169772700131236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260623653580983,0.186047586847858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23577857806480734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190351912271975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626842288456452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4470739492683263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305927460391886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117471621907477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210013119996334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076373825569086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3558526313990965,0.0,0.0,0.20562438331159305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eirein,2019/02/18,"I finished highschool and now I'm puzzled Almost a year ago I (22M) got my high school diploma (pretty late, I know) and I was so eager for my future plans. I was able to keep my depression in check for a while and I had big projects, I wanted to move abroad, get a job, start university... Normal adult stuff. 

But as soon as I started my new job I had a break down because of unrelated reasons and ended up having a depressive episode that lasted two months, so all my plans got cancelled and I had to quit my job. I isolated myself from anything and anyone, because apparently that's my way of dealing with depression. 

The thing is... I see many other people dealing with these sort of problems, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that has to pause his life in order to get his shit together.

So, I was wondering... How do others balance the ups and downs with work? I'm unable to get out of my house whenever I have a depressive episode, so being able of keeping a job seems... Unlikely, I don't understand how it's possible for others in a situation similar to mine. 

It'd be nice to have someone else's insight",3.461917699815352,4.830258367713006,5.135747823793196,81.60579002901609,72.94618834080717,8.117013980480085,29.26114481667107,8.671277953709913,2.292934265365339,868,36,171,16,17,295,131,223,0.119,0.841,0.039,-0.9418,5,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,4,8,9,1,0,11,0,16,2,1,3,2,32,35,18,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,11,12,0,2,6,0,1,1,2,6,0,2,8,1,27,3,30,24,1,28,0,4,1,0,5,10,1,5,14,116,38,8,0.22075452250247693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978427823163693,0.0,0.11052688318076116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717834746601968,0.0,0.09083108125760564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456990794811086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275882194014989,0.3802710935132256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220603847459596,0.0,0.09776149176175457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730026900509501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765575579546478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661963664409475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736053994915794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4381296012041771,0.19621676265781973,0.0,0.0,0.060660456168922024,0.08997219977657428,0.12451035838649252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796272386516856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190521851256204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810207687024109,0.11731356069234045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066030467206956,0.0,0.0,0.10814628071464784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479448880981282,0.08394688097144934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652169515832108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443377757251828,0.0,0.11229335603421796,0.0,0.10561613224269577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739980394633386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348620787317505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170768114699248,0.08795638662504827,0.10048331316311254,0.0,0.0,0.1133006725105313,0.0,0.12406866627235033,0.0,0.0,0.09352229527042312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562511872445449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263555566042805,0.0,0.0,0.10402926246806136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332974781432515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782254579911678,0.11490662162572896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510336846220892,0.08761233234261835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969943144823507,0.08035596077773842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107933738513604
mentalhealth,molsjpg,2019/02/18,"""thankful for trauma"" Recently, a somewhat popular (almost 1 million followers) ""alignment"" and ""self-help"" Youtuber by the name of Raw Alignment (Alyse) posted a statement on her Instagram stories regarding her being ""thankful for \[her\] trauma since it allows us to grow"" or something along those lines. This statement struck me in a very weird way since I have never heard anyone say they are ""thankful"" for their trauma; merely I have only heard about people being humble about their traumatic experiences and growing from them but never the blunt statement of being ""thankful"". I think I can see what connection she is trying to make but to me to seems like she is trying to be too deep and ""insightful"" about a topic that involves toxic individuals who do not care about their victims and feed off/love hearing statements of their victims giving them thanks. I am worried about someone of her status sharing a statement like this to very impressionable audience who is following her to get tips and insights on how to better themselves. I have never heard from a therapist and/or read about this type of thinking/mindset in my educational career. What do you guys think about this statement and/or mindset when it comes to trauma? I am still trying to understand where this line of thinking comes from so I would love to hear some opinions regarding using language in this way to correlate traumatic experiences in the sake of self-growth. Lastly, one of my final thoughts about this is that it \*maybe\* beneficial personally for one to have this mindset, but like I stated before, I don't think the statement is one to use regarding how abusers will only take it and think what they are doing is okay since people are ""thankful"". Am I overthinking this statement or is this something that can actually be pretty damaging to say/feel when processing through trauma? ",18.540712338104974,10.671370978527612,15.476543967280168,48.61913769597821,50.87116564417178,17.92447171097478,57.38786639400136,13.205437297517054,7.361692978868438,1513,69,222,28,9,468,166,326,0.123,0.7390000000000001,0.139,0.7834,1,0,2,0,1,0,49.0,1,1,8,1,16,24,2,0,10,1,30,2,0,6,3,48,62,16,0,1,6,0,0,3,0,2,0,6,0,2,23,9,1,0,18,1,0,6,5,9,0,4,4,7,32,15,47,51,2,27,0,1,1,1,32,8,0,7,12,171,55,3,0.0,0.10647031111028156,0.08769114301977718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998257471044398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283273550319883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764648915421865,0.0,0.0,0.0794745432341501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161903772752207,0.0,0.0,0.1548141826111708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580214009472686,0.0,0.0,0.04543630225433769,0.0,0.0,0.09843807452041074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04694854028456282,0.0862026329584021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897628417494062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025592236497635,0.0,0.06023177587532725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324851615527869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317042906337497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110284784078592,0.0,0.05998275770021301,0.0,0.09027721547026678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079184826380315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826759377513128,0.13668632049215393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245962783604847,0.07846295296807715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606177203072725,0.09142070243951593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988508152392577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887266634926135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292177244027252,0.0,0.0,0.07160739453590911,0.08180586454306678,0.1874887493563772,0.0,0.0,0.22300125754284605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613873366446176,0.1383584125383754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176292214839544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756411116155413,0.0,0.0,0.4963903094865808,0.0,0.10433527293471337,0.0,0.28789574552265385,0.0,0.07133940901172553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302868026886407,0.0,0.0,0.0935482243559876,0.10809143473775347,0.15522169633593338,0.0,0.1482890824373034,0.0,0.1426545834588079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125796771113233,0.0,0.06383450846105766,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_Fat_Potato_,2019/02/18,"Cutting for no reason Im not depressed but I still like cutting myself. What is this ""condition"" called?",2.311929824561407,5.213185105263161,3.027368421052632,84.63824561403509,92.68421052631581,4.63859649122807,27.385964912280702,6.42735559955562,1.6955122807017546,83,4,13,1,3,26,17,19,0.212,0.5529999999999999,0.235,0.3614,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.462006247268696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896980733903165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4887280946557229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22104623029223916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.465198194855809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613304473072341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jarinschlievert93,2019/02/18,"I have severe depression but I don't want to do anything to change it. I've tried killing myself back in 2012 (wouldnt recamend the pill route, messy and too painful).

It's now 2019 and I feel the same way I did back then. But, I don't care. My wife is worried and is trying to get me into therapy but I don't want to go. I have no desire to change. I feel nothing.

My family is worried but I don't care. I'm just shallow.

I would just like an answer as to why I'm like this. I don't desire to change it, I can't find a reason to change. ",-1.3593112947658383,0.5520010578512426,1.4039338842975226,99.36468870523416,92.14049586776859,4.5489807162534435,16.33112947658402,6.079149491110277,-0.6252615977961433,412,10,104,4,15,142,65,121,0.248,0.645,0.107,-0.9418,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,4,0,15,2,0,1,0,22,25,9,1,6,6,1,2,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,1,2,16,4,11,22,1,8,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,6,66,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208436791687262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22583463238023885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299443358044627,0.0,0.6213843285759174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648026805748572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843555453455186,0.0,0.14850187539224124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342167308614768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672220155767817,0.0,0.08345730101842734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624659410873586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434853717249804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090495165784162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625699721436434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098456061980434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589683596772026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679338853643669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199400779567168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322992223197342,0.11656138443192494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250779442729066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982632537684991,0.0,0.10431685404487298,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lxcylxcy,2019/02/18,"How cleaning my room changed my mind Okay so I never had any luck with Reddit post, but hopefully this one tip will get to someone and help you :) 

So I used to have chronic loneliness and just a sense of emptiness sitting inside me forever, I barely have energy for anything. That is the summary. 

But for the last month, I decided that I will add one thing to my morning routine to improve my mental health and that is cleaning my room/studio. I know a lot of people find this difficult and challenging. So what I did was to clean my room one time thoroughly, take a picture of it, and then everyday I just put things back into where they were in the picture. Gradually, I remember where they are, and cleaning becomes something automatic. I also threw away/donated things I never touched in the past months. The point is, you need to clear your way into a better life, you cannot move on to a better mental state having your physical environment the same. 

YOUR PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT IS THE MANIFESTATION OF YOUR INNER MENTAL STATE. 

So when you clean your room, you're nudging yourself to getting better, having a clean and tidy room is the first symbolical step you need to have a clearer mind. 

I haven't miss a single day since I decided to start cleaning my room for 10 mins every morning. It is also an activity to distract myself from negative thought process :) 

Just wanna share it here, it really changed my life. I won't go into details but if there is one thing to try, I wholeheartedly recommend this - cleaning your room. It will change everything. It will change everything! ",5.437532467532471,7.184543278911568,5.9973283858998165,75.86682745825604,68.59183673469389,9.154978354978354,32.07111935683364,9.573946990214177,3.2150462585034014,1260,55,217,28,22,408,157,294,0.065,0.754,0.181,0.9884,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,11,2,5,16,11,0,1,17,1,24,4,0,2,3,40,37,20,0,5,7,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,14,0,17,12,0,1,6,0,0,5,6,3,0,5,6,1,38,8,28,26,3,41,0,1,0,0,15,16,0,4,15,163,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662287611752317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067732205595299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552717809121069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764753257377767,0.07991729048475718,0.0,0.0,0.1147847253524529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757582166593089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397850884612393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702754009534179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875671901663894,0.0,0.18681475496588024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949919625269104,0.08840450369950294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860035777314328,0.0,0.05906694910578378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110474852912899,0.0,0.0,0.06966342691088027,0.0,0.0,0.10322792403101252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711830758834055,0.0847184493127975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682048647161342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835926735092982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142170242435988,0.0,0.2098833789203808,0.0,0.16591505714473034,0.11046326498516404,0.0,0.15412851796867486,0.16031752684448464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28170804425571155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921485144980714,0.072053360579136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824933111636178,0.0,0.09953812383173127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448036336654502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658149871827893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773469246211955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597362206302395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806124393044709,0.08001192907978631,0.0,0.0,0.07356360253230115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814392737554235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27619120300515865,0.0,0.0,0.08251039643660071,0.06060358334907304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056300380326788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976387579924064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249638171764051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,concernedpartyofmany,2019/02/18,"Appropriate of an RN to mock clients? This RN works at the behavioral health center I go to for counseling. I came across one of her social media accounts where it says 

Local Psyche Nurse 

 “I deal with the crazy so that you don’t have to” 

I’m very trigger by this and even filed a complaint with the company. Was then told that they have followed up and appropriate action has been taken and that it is confidential. 

But the profile remains the same and she’s active on it so it’s not like it’s not changed because she hasn’t logged in. 

I feel this is completely unethical. Even my therapist said it sounds unethical. 

I take it as a mockery of the very individuals that are seeking help not only that, this I feel detours anyone from getting the appropriate help as they don’t want to be labeled as such. 

I’m so upset and irritated by this, more so that I filed a complaint and nothing seems to have stemmed from it, almost as if this is OK. IS IT? Is it  just me??? 

",2.3399753289473684,4.63757096354167,3.90001096491228,85.10003289473686,78.94791666666666,6.750438596491227,25.730263157894736,7.85451343220497,1.5455374999999996,763,30,153,13,19,253,110,192,0.145,0.7929999999999999,0.062,-0.9495,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,2,1,9,4,1,1,11,1,16,1,0,1,0,22,30,17,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,22,9,0,0,3,0,1,4,6,2,0,1,6,5,15,2,24,23,2,13,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,3,2,112,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011871966629001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048433216351205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247582559162193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297930600502956,0.0,0.0,0.21254126722067515,0.0,0.21065539397211006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20713438458227812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26540472245745017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031771663945824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049697148326889,0.0,0.11418453734052765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135630866092424,0.0,0.0,0.2693379729882014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981568453905128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19278321390344969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614509969372018,0.15280479431975727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911160280418698,0.15977555005443728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18290533040386853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20480738418579816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510629603937743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332776222767628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919827458307364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315515797061545,0.11850478197962586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626840112362074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hour_Consideration,2019/02/18,"Is this a kind of suicidal planning? Today I registered for organ donation just in case I actually do decide to end it all. I've also been doing research into which methods would be best for organ donation. I've been suicidal for some time, but with what I would call nothing more than active and specific ideations with no plan. However, knowing which ways would best ensure healthy organ donation, my ideations have become even more specific, with more details tied to my surroundings.

​

On one hand, I feel that the registration is almost precautionary or responsible, because it's organ donation. On the other hand, I feel it could be a marker of trying to make my potential suicide a more positive thing.",9.18875140607424,9.467561913385827,9.1392575928009,61.853070866141756,59.787401574803155,12.611473565804276,40.97750281214847,12.031772070788634,5.521714060742407,581,29,85,17,7,190,84,127,0.118,0.674,0.208,0.9414,1,0,1,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,5,0,13,2,2,1,1,20,17,4,3,4,3,0,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,4,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,8,3,16,9,8,9,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,3,68,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.15844168704574355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625818805740392,0.0,0.0,0.12984066560272722,0.0,0.17591893271408984,0.19728734744820065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897424080573146,0.17931584204105108,0.0,0.0,0.3407773654553284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657895417471449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963267861405162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380435529295854,0.0,0.0,0.10723843168475404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418999991080005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907482042059555,0.08922979420575118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108377756252241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579051738589048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002055153754636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5327923409057945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786595947137176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467446601083693,0.0,0.15389999340175514,0.0,0.0,0.11023299838089892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887523237622628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460114738163941,0.0,0.19728734744820065,0.0
mentalhealth,Thlimshady,2019/02/18,"How Can I Best Use The Next Month? (Fear of Flying) I'm 30 and have always been a worrier, even from a young age. I started flying when I was 8 and never had an issue until I was about 16 or 17 and experienced some pretty rough turbulence over the Atlantic. I've flown a handful of times after that, but in recent years, my anxiety has gotten worse and evolved in ways that makes the idea of flying difficult.

Last year, I was meant to fly to New Orleans with my Wife, but came down with a nasty cold a couple days before the trip and had to stay behind. Miraculously, a day after she left, I was fine. This leads me to believe my anxiety was behind the cold to a certain degree. Now, I'm supposed to fly down to New Orleans one-way, by myself in mid March so that I can take the drive back home with my brother in law. 

This is something I not only want to do, but *need* to do. I know that I can't be paralyzed by my fear forever. My main fears are feeling trapped; my stomach drops whenever I think of the flight attendant closing the big door and knowing I'm past the point of no return; I'm also scared of something happening in the air that would prevent us from having a safe landing, such as the landing gear not deploying or something; the idea of circling in the air, not knowing whether or not we'll be able to land safely drives me insane.

I plan on seeing my doctor for some anxiety meds before the flight, but I know I can't count on them to fully cure me of my anxiety. I don't want to limp onto this plane and be a miserable human being on the verge of full-blown panic the entire time. I really want to enjoy my trip. It's really going to force me to step outside of my comfort zone in many different ways and it's important to me that I don't back out of it. 

Anyone have any advice of some things I can do in the next 22 days or so to mentally prepare myself for this?",6.1300385604113075,4.942833334190233,7.010924164524423,79.4402937017995,66.55784061696659,9.939383033419023,31.275192802056555,8.982922981607832,2.3830811311053988,1473,46,306,21,20,495,206,389,0.14400000000000002,0.7809999999999999,0.076,-0.981,1,1,3,0,0,0,38.0,2,0,1,3,11,14,0,6,27,0,30,3,2,4,2,54,54,24,0,5,13,2,4,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,14,14,0,3,9,0,0,9,10,7,0,0,11,8,40,7,61,37,5,68,0,1,1,0,7,27,0,7,28,209,54,2,0.09809352228483907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585585468498148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844535433097234,0.08162166864921737,0.0,0.0,0.06670695892389998,0.0,0.3001651042164976,0.0,0.0,0.06858927156955627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085572737053238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16694072507018856,0.11051780836868907,0.10294309974854672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121928570813448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853861663956173,0.0,0.1897866203972887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248685264570813,0.0,0.1004028766369715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478984632709406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33114745257895395,0.049599032247777126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055748809280582186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674377779765093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839580090862524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214712933500277,0.0,0.10238415176818397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21563853792206286,0.07995931303015869,0.0,0.0,0.10657889898025022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547818783381394,0.09945143520970108,0.0,0.0,0.10895978965681406,0.0,0.09885519862044807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829731362096676,0.0,0.0,0.07273510383570049,0.07565577165989631,0.18947867016424927,0.20864714759334715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647070938051744,0.07460454396102535,0.0,0.11509161297118076,0.0,0.0,0.09364136653428393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927300851875976,0.0,0.0,0.09979637742151656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568244440772036,0.0,0.09685551916557378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982087283604456,0.0,0.07816783704987322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22655155761229426,0.0,0.0,0.06943109995779749,0.10455464299719423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375412086872453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516897746713593,0.06285436823729525,0.0,0.0,0.1143982433829992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799442937182478,0.08472130807459842,0.0,0.0,0.17357430287737255,0.23358621633622745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996567957231166,0.06968282379050199,0.0,0.0,0.1263380244579534
mentalhealth,SSAJS,2019/02/18,"DSM: Failure to include exclusions other than bereavement=better reliability? HUH In line with this definition, the MDD criteria exclude bereaved people from diagnoses unless they have particularly severe or long-standing systems. The criteria do not, however,exclude people whose symptoms arose from other life events such as the dissolution of a romantic relationship, loss of a valued job, or failure to achieve a long-desired goal. Such people do not have individual dysfunctions but are responding naturally to undesirable losses in their lives(Horwitz and Wakefield 2007). **The failure to include exclusions other than bereavement enhances the reliability of the MDD diagnosis because clinicians and researchers might disagree on whether or not depressive symptoms represent appropriate contextual responses.**""

​

What does this mean exactly, how does failure to include exclusions improve reliability of MDD diagnosis? I see their explanation... but still don't get it. Perhaps someone can dumb it down for me? Thanks >\_<",9.486250000000002,13.654191777070064,9.281460987261148,45.99633160828026,64.35031847133757,12.077866242038214,48.029060509554135,11.20814326018867,7.812592675159237,867,60,89,32,16,280,105,157,0.2,0.721,0.079,-0.9675,2,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,3,4,4,5,1,0,9,1,8,4,0,1,1,17,12,11,0,0,10,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,1,5,1,21,11,0,7,0,3,1,0,6,4,1,4,2,67,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963544224645207,0.22020508293275934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047150862300152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560866096539314,0.18393694732017649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171779318238577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468123771591584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983529436641385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800275861174892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32075228790440885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19740434869400586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19224835525914985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3769104357174155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945650645353705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441081028670616,0.0,0.0,0.2047297580579668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535491731538259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472446320881946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767189781300944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684526152644374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22020508293275934,0.0
mentalhealth,francis4ever,2019/02/18,"PTSD treatment is making things so much worse, and I feel like it won't get better. TW: PTSD and CSA I (22f) have been in PTSD treatment for the last four months. This is the first time I've gotten in a treatment plan and stuck with it. I had an all around horrific childhood, but the majority of my treatment is centered around healing the trauma of being raped throughout my childhood by my stepfather. 

Since starting treatment, I feel as though things are getting worse and worse. I didn't tell anyone what even happened until I was 18, and have shoved it out of my mind pretty much all my life. Now I'm talking about it once a week and doing homework every day, having to constantly thinking about it.

I am depressed, having constant flashbacks (whether it be actual images, emotional or physical responses, or nightmares) and just all around feel like the worthless, hopeless girl I thought I was growing up. My therapist says I'm having a normal reaction to the treatment and that it will get better, but I can't see a light.

I guess I'm just wanting to hear other people's stories of how they got through PTSD treatment. ",8.179429674099486,7.597903400943397,7.3999485420240125,76.33544596912523,62.160377358490564,9.595883361921098,37.668953687821606,8.575989854853784,3.224475471698113,899,39,157,10,11,278,129,212,0.187,0.754,0.058,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,1,4,12,9,1,0,11,0,21,3,0,2,3,34,42,18,0,2,7,0,3,2,0,2,2,2,1,1,13,13,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,5,0,2,9,7,18,4,22,29,6,22,0,3,1,1,6,8,0,3,15,112,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.10718779133485476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680253569731732,0.0,0.0,0.2933421038581475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19428873802440305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373955853174601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708375783091888,0.0,0.0946048509495044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355498072711105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254814596352968,0.0,0.09254476118180456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666148957814456,0.15693913712725913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342967002504876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216027182002155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784891483594721,0.0,0.1210009131202356,0.0,0.09713096433847064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379742725342455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953408970241178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758309265887042,0.10732434721996624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331891334350088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090687700101703,0.0,0.08767307316101379,0.0,0.16148976927479047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076196738829604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697579252200953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614908088831207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174655545957074,0.0,0.0,0.5135873505588625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734901036744665,0.0,0.0,0.08752809233900152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086061008282934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774516933898452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828506326543578,0.09600481862847253,0.0,0.0,0.127532463132211,0.14594535278601606,0.07038090287023624,0.10791703686892726,0.08720052474827603,0.06404846538006492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647863545217247,0.0,0.08810685482327978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358083923987963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Megaz0nee,2019/02/18,"Shaky hands I noticed now that whenever I talk for too long my hands and voice starts shaking. I do have social anxiety and find it hard to talk to people, but it happens even when I'm just talking to my mom.",7.283720930232557,5.2485216744186065,7.339186046511633,80.73808139534887,64.81395348837209,10.460465116279073,35.45348837209303,8.841846274778883,2.767939534883721,164,6,35,2,2,53,33,43,0.133,0.867,0.0,-0.3291,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,6,5,4,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,4,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934132219924447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721091952462733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381634104568433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304281092750797,0.0,0.2334265476877003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306031744175039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051855982252091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29666957982951103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806518534190963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26562627632493024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18443832508062152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6283277534832765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RickDruce,2019/02/18,"Emotional Confusion I've been dealing with a lot of emotional trouble for about a year and a half now and I'd like to get at least a basic understanding before I graduate highschool.

When I first began my freshman year I was really depressed. I had no friends, I didn't know how to make any, and I was practically losing my mind. Around mid November it finally began to finally release its grip on me.

Today I am fairly happy, and I am not considering suicide. But I feel like I could do better. I want to understand what my friends are expressing, and I want to better express myself. I'd also like to learn how to help people feel better if they're ever feeling bad.

Any advice, links, or whatever you can give me would be greatly appreciated!",4.47878787878788,6.111777333333336,6.314065656565656,73.1102272727273,70.80555555555556,9.403030303030304,31.146464646464647,9.800150414767053,3.3322722222222234,592,26,103,15,11,205,98,144,0.106,0.623,0.271,0.9702,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,1,0,5,8,15,0,1,4,0,13,0,0,3,1,30,26,12,1,5,4,0,4,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,7,4,19,10,14,16,2,15,0,2,0,0,8,4,0,4,14,73,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348664963095736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037041112564276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18770963670605287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286246114394812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152366196681294,0.0,0.0,0.11744045658759167,0.0,0.0,0.3661887092075248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019361282179588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228723137302626,0.11887197239268367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104962189689629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484231685971912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093533375166279,0.09859782341330817,0.0,0.30237700424651226,0.0,0.11739534542264746,0.0,0.0,0.2132598333734075,0.0,0.07210705326245123,0.13239640270858138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216183929268393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691935482456311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250843252654477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758493421566255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20228122625452105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544032939554471,0.0,0.11733527453774716,0.0,0.0,0.0921259719280374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935563651023042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568210668092694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841583532167785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096582527359598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308219228939985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873566145128019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280944727114802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804177667047442,0.0,0.0,0.17775405336808284
mentalhealth,Echohut,2019/02/18,"Why do I have isolated episodes of irrational fear? I suffer from occasional isolated episodes of paranoia/irrational fear.

The reason I'm making this post is because I'm in the middle of such an episode now - but I don't want to go into the details of that. 

But a good example of these episodes happens nearly every Christmas when my work organises a special lunch outing to a restaurant in the centre of the city. For weeks before this lunch I experience increasing anxiety focused on the idea that the restaurant will be caught up in a terrorist attack. The first year it happened was the worst. I could not get my mind to think of anything else for over a week before the event. My mind filled with horrific images almost every moment. It was the first Christmas after the terrorist attacks in Paris - I'm sure that was a trigger. It was the closest I've ever felt to being 'mad' - and I was aware of it, but I could not control it. On the way to the lunch I felt like I could be travelling to my death, and at the restaurant itself I was overwhelmed by fear and found it difficult to act normally. The fear did not subside till I had left the restaurant. 

In subsequent years I have had similar episodes, always focused on the Christmas lunch. At other times of year I go to restaurants in town without thinking of these things and am completely relaxed. 

At the moment I'm experiencing a similar episode about an entirely different situation. The feelings, sleepless nights and clearly imagined terrible events are the same, but the context is different. I'm sure it comes from the same place as the Christmas lunch fear. 

I want to know how seriously should I be taking these experiences? I have very little money and am unable to pay for a therapist. Are such irrational fears or paranoia common? Where do they come from? ",6.290666323642911,7.618825355029589,6.4448546436840735,75.03074736300489,66.15976331360946,9.428556727553383,35.109853357345,9.653516015845867,3.5576751736557766,1462,69,247,30,23,467,171,338,0.226,0.69,0.084,-0.9953,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,4,8,21,3,7,35,0,30,5,0,5,4,49,54,15,1,7,9,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,18,10,5,1,10,2,2,9,5,15,0,2,13,4,21,6,49,32,4,53,0,2,0,0,1,23,0,2,20,179,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854237842055641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357461773286476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06764298367381537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727641976106961,0.0,0.0,0.2011867569237521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053901545807975335,0.0,0.15048209910866808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233633829368978,0.09270932702870884,0.0,0.0991733718160622,0.2117945550572352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847654215073368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386566703347652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799832291380282,0.14899956883145113,0.0,0.0,0.17298837764423616,0.0,0.5969994889817071,0.04470908152139602,0.0,0.16979896612637824,0.0,0.0,0.15042429600579116,0.0,0.09695072621138237,0.0,0.0,0.0461971157587472,0.0,0.10050510850271736,0.07416461229208356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638347997012975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981825915040073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04859470303245803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607132371382493,0.0,0.0,0.04319877553489219,0.08862259171410515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902271687703078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17856307199421842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297854253431773,0.08663529302777657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923827107536684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468432928496619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091307448330957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939061414818152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667435214280585,0.0,0.0664827286545794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266535769314006,0.05874399144904245,0.11331515741914586,0.0,0.0,0.05155988088400895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295783708707806,0.10430778324593523,0.07018567846431373,0.141854419549197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978756857611577,0.0,0.0,0.08523615126491763,0.0,0.06437264566570497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082360619029746
mentalhealth,dyyldoe,2019/02/18,"Seeing a psych. I'm seeing a psychologist in a few days to try and fix my stupid brain and the mere thought of doing it is making me significantly more anxious and depressed than usual. 
wtf is this i can't stop thinking about what i'm gonna say and shit ugh.",3.2877777777777766,4.4380883333333365,4.75277777777778,85.03250000000003,73.07407407407408,6.881481481481483,24.61111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.8755333333333333,206,6,44,2,4,69,44,54,0.322,0.6459999999999999,0.031,-0.9557,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,4,0,4,2,2,1,0,8,12,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,3,0,5,10,2,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,3,25,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293531885007789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254510778516165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18801688208080072,0.0,0.2510999038900994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946028338832877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318414741741745,0.0,0.0,0.4646335859825624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992579605800467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437375134257677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680477553785865,0.0,0.2314473641012913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979341021089946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32108619470560845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bpkgoal,2019/02/18,"Was my life (death) sentence finalized because help arrived too late? Can I come back from this? (long) I’ve (19F) dealt with various forms of mental illness my entire life. My family is quite well-off and I never experienced socioeconomic hardship growing up so I was/am often shamed by close friends and family members not as financially fortunate for “complaining” about my life. I tried to talk to my grandma, my cousins, my best friends about my mother’s drinking problem very early on and they brushed it off as sort of cosmic trade-in for my otherwise “perfect” life. Thus, I came to believe that the delusions and paranoid episodes I experienced were a normal part of childhood, and learned to keep quiet.

When I was a 2nd-3rd grader, I became convinced my friend (same age) had planted cameras in my house and made sure to watch what I said and did, thinking she was watching me. I slept on the floor of my parent’s room until I was probably 11 due to separation anxiety. I would stay up ALL night with my head to the floor boards listening in case a burglar broke in so I could alert my family. Around that same age, I clicked on a YouTube video with an inappropriate title one day, immediately exited out, and spent weeks-months considering killing myself thinking I had committed some cardinal sin and was headed for hell (I was raised in a secular household so this makes zero sense). I became a severe germaphobe in 5th grade to the point where my hands cracked and bled from all the soap-washing. I could continue on with these paranoid delusions for pages and pages, but that’s not the point of this post.

My warped perception of the world as a child is haunting me. No one in my immediate family got me professional help until my parents got sick of me sleeping on the floor and sent me to a therapist. I harbor no anger against them for this late attempt to help, as I never told them the extent of my childhood delusions until recently (I didn’t even know they were delusions!). I’ve been on medications/in therapy since then (6th grade) but relapse every few months/years. I feel as though the help was almost too late; I am diagnosed with depression/anxiety/OCD/PTSD on paper but I know there’s something...missing. 

It would be different if I grew out of my delusions. In a way, they more so grew with me - they take more subtle forms nowadays, rational enough that they keep me constantly doubting my own sanity. The delusions get especially intense whenever I experience external troubles. For example, I hit one of my “rough patches” in 6th grade due to severe bullying, and again junior year of high school because of academic pressure. 

Finally, to the point of this essay: I am now a freshman in college. Almost everything that could go wrong for a freshman has for me, and this has caused complete chaos for my previously dormant delusions. I’m terrified something will happen to my family while I’m away. This paranoia was furthered last year when my mother (during a particularly inebriated episode) fell down the stairs and practically shattered her ribcage; obviously, this has only heightened the separation anxiety. I have made zero friends while I’ve been here, and not from lack of trying; I am a pretty social person and the isolation has been killing me. I had to move mid-year from my first dorm due to issues with my roommate and now live in a single. The loneliness is dangerous here. All of these circumstances combined with (1) limited access to a healthy diet and (2) severe insomnia is physically and mentally destroying me. I’ve found myself making very shaky, even dangerous choices lately when it comes to just about everything. I have regular phone appointments with my psychiatrist that do absolutely nothing for me. I tell her how I feel and all she does is insist on calling me more frequently. 

I have never been less in control of my own life which is COMPLETELY contradictory to the whole “college is freedom” thing. I am miserable. I am scared. I do not feel like myself at all. I find no humor in things anymore; that might be what concerns me the most. I’m not passionate about anything. I crave physical touch (literally just hugs. just human contact.) but feel absolutely nothing when I receive it. I feel as though the world is spinning at a much faster pace than I am living at. 

I’m not even drowning quietly; I confide in my friends, family, and my psychiatrist about how I feel but no one seems to know what to do. In fact, some of my friends have distanced themselves once I tell them of the poor choices I made, and I don’t really blame them. Never swim near a sinking ship or you’ll go down with it, right?",6.355929107623138,7.644299523864963,6.560423306972827,74.40645809080327,65.9848661233993,9.835662960138093,34.833627714664196,10.004066432519934,3.650381622576372,3717,172,641,84,58,1192,404,859,0.16699999999999998,0.755,0.078,-0.998,3,1,3,0,0,1,115.0,0,1,9,7,35,33,7,6,38,0,56,18,5,10,14,119,97,54,4,9,16,5,9,1,6,5,9,4,2,3,28,40,2,4,16,3,2,13,16,19,0,7,31,19,110,14,114,55,30,111,2,2,3,2,45,51,1,13,45,455,138,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485944322071602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774821256392443,0.0,0.056877751358060086,0.0,0.0,0.04719579128691192,0.05105541985159926,0.0,0.0,0.05388407135471185,0.04410013104736963,0.0,0.06992246707936425,0.0,0.0,0.0646160396702222,0.06018736270029273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585627819953246,0.06559538422712333,0.0,0.0589162798579352,0.0,0.09880730171708152,0.12026491578198402,0.061977113683415276,0.06432512019842787,0.13737266326587372,0.0,0.0,0.036987281276148684,0.0,0.0,0.05821105054138779,0.0,0.059920610388320576,0.0,0.0,0.050189102540319684,0.0,0.0,0.056183104430761965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059259924547310334,0.0,0.1136413219451386,0.0,0.0483215151360051,0.0,0.10308851971337696,0.056101239582409285,0.3243980446529544,0.0,0.17399330022734935,0.0409722646278623,0.0,0.1256525773741993,0.05241866898230968,0.04878356328996604,0.0,0.06288348376859358,0.2658599761632173,0.0,0.02996404145170762,0.0,0.06518890168405317,0.0,0.09173923220975284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507161648430401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771935119288565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537672880220902,0.060595513725092136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617648252563932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05986056464479542,0.0,0.10195414663322162,0.12690293277292194,0.0,0.09455744187161448,0.046749516833743315,0.2587821175794031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254699122562425,0.028019279548754786,0.0,0.10128569483249897,0.050754695874038816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280348522776725,0.07656578148002173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155946092299864,0.06084138552657975,0.0,0.0,0.045777801765001,0.0609560763661675,0.042160302920831394,0.0,0.17693352465147585,0.0,0.0,0.053820946335373716,0.05619276157892182,0.11006153959365594,0.0,0.0,0.06107798493092675,0.15545273861786668,0.04361876373880568,0.0,0.0,0.12736516910483087,0.062106603393684276,0.0,0.0,0.05007753512481207,0.0,0.0,0.16264847136081415,0.0,0.05492734148720798,0.05834758015559869,0.06183513260360742,0.05487809750629578,0.06704139331273734,0.0,0.0,0.061000888324354276,0.0,0.0,0.036741145764525286,0.0,0.05662815939856949,0.0,0.0,0.048978275947958574,0.05455486466224984,0.0,0.05741933523085028,0.05804326373266538,0.0,0.05221108689011197,0.0,0.1943742320496444,0.0,0.047442148959236013,0.0,0.05739339703195547,0.05846311918766847,0.0,0.04415235472033962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112957775162185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054053560644615715,0.0,0.04312155000393621,0.046097347557937006,0.1002563135339802,0.0,0.0655869852538221,0.06659006699978151,0.07620421170923768,0.07349766361487971,0.1126960546205389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05480227285797491,0.0,0.07787645692051293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946427766668619,0.0,0.0455233307162194,0.0,0.0,0.051566316024888696,0.0,0.0,0.06403143541293163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148239949455646,0.06270538480904693,0.0,0.14773117420134108
mentalhealth,pocketcamel,2019/02/18,"Too anxious to even see a therapist as my life falls apart It’s been over a year that I’ve been meaning to see a therapist and get my life back on track. But I don’t; I keep sinking further and as my anxiety and depression consume my mind. I’ve lost all hope of getting better because I’ve developed this indifferent, “there’s no point to anything” mindset, so I just live in a nebulous haze where I struggle through every day, bogged down with this incredible looming weight of indifference towards everything and everyone. I can’t hold down a job, I can’t hold down friends, I’ve fallen in debt, I’ve been drinking too much and my body has taken a nosedive, which for someone who struggles with body dysmorphia it is a hell in itself. I’ve lost everything. 

Even the idea of seeing a therapist gives me tremendous anxiety because I’ve been accustomed of living in this state of inertia, and feel like I should really just “suck it up” and “stop being a pussy” and get my shit together on my own, which I am aware is just rationalizing my anxiety so I avoid it. I feel like a therapist just wouldn’t be helpful, so I continue to struggle every day as I sink deeper and deeper into this madness. ",8.384986344127974,6.801248450643778,8.724986344127979,70.23588373000392,62.347639484978544,12.421225126804528,40.49512290284822,11.389717465364855,4.597544206008583,951,45,177,23,11,317,127,233,0.225,0.706,0.069,-0.9842,3,1,1,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,3,14,16,4,4,11,0,15,7,3,0,1,31,31,16,0,3,5,0,3,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,13,12,2,5,4,1,1,2,5,11,0,0,7,6,21,5,29,20,3,26,1,3,3,0,4,17,3,1,8,117,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23545233959990197,0.11590199416865656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442610322633254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888843718004404,0.0,0.12508067483380264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073603730329206,0.0,0.2279175652477464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323292582636492,0.0,0.08836404386700418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050304158292016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552471121830445,0.0,0.1728797044687537,0.09803294359910636,0.18440970623549965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374919687494888,0.14658631833757527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926385375783343,0.0,0.16080335900935575,0.0984174932180623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876658160293565,0.0,0.0,0.10189897018218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158161146226364,0.0,0.0,0.10180869374677427,0.09119024253330003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449303230064904,0.10024447193309982,0.0,0.181184726309499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239868949222694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117549196962468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359067263581632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541837925354676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698447155478536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572433008088473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24526235536802274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531124523177528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692754556197861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577316038247301,0.0,0.3217605074912589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4764780686646523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493182756576472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606715886511952
mentalhealth,depressive-realism,2019/02/18,"have I experienced the full spectrum of mental illness? primary symptoms: 

\-suicidal ideation, panic attacks, hallucinations, delusions, dissociation, hypomania, mania(?)

secondary:

\-thought disorder/speech disorder, brain fog

\-tiredness, insomnia, hypersomnia, overeating

sorry if this sounds dismissive, wanted to know about the other things I could possibly experience/like how could it have been worse/how much worse it could have been for me.  Like I'm interested in the full range of primary symptoms. I suppose there is flashbacks for ptsd and maybe borderline rage....(I think I have experienced rage)...as well as intrusive thoughts. Like do you experience all those symptoms and other symptoms which make your life extremely debilitating?

Like I started with being angsty and depressed, ended up having severe anxiety with panic attacks, mild illusions which became hallucinations. Dissociation and mania probably after. ",10.952509881422927,14.43561581884058,9.738959156785246,47.58397233201586,57.47826086956522,12.554413702239788,45.15415019762846,11.911945987284742,7.178252173913043,765,45,81,26,11,239,97,138,0.197,0.722,0.08,-0.952,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,2,0,0,4,10,2,2,3,0,13,8,1,2,1,18,21,7,1,5,1,0,0,3,0,0,7,2,0,0,9,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,4,4,8,5,13,13,4,8,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,6,58,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968875299423204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964987028572814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547191577223886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121319305847984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223801841508137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493494854214837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154182508196355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747069033062722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161637592438155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204361610582802,0.19099240586654495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698464680647243,0.0,0.13091648339344486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313244123189182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957947267809005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057874274130549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469078334575721,0.0,0.0,0.14049898181107556,0.0,0.15232841109951678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472161026879378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587424393985482,0.09223590186310923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254079187928653,0.0,0.0,0.5417785894436742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657387559510883,0.08349902772571316,0.0,0.2069072358187154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686172515335926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716664284831405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279963325246524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JordManXx,2019/02/18,"I definitely think that there's something wrong with me... I think it's a combination of over-thinking, anxiety depression and maybe even Asperger syndrome or something... I over think every little thing, when I want to tell something (even the smallest thing) to anyone basically (except for some close friends, and even then)  I plan it for a really long time, I think about every possible scenario. for instance, I wanted to call someone about a job, and it took me like two hours to call him (not to talk about all the days I said ""I would do it tomorrow""). now it's not just about talking, I always try to analyze everything I do and everything that'll happen I would do it... and of course, I can't stop. I think that the anxiety and the depression are sides effects of the over thinking, or the opposite. I bearly go out with friends, I just in the house on the computer. I workout, but I'm super bad at it cuz I don't give everything... the Asperger syndrome is because it's super hard for me to create new connections with people, I see my friends just starting casually starts conversations with people on the street (boys and girls), and I'm too afraid to ask what time it is...

it's frustrating because no matter what I do, I can't control it. and it's hard to see people planning flights with their friends (I'm a senior in high school) and I just left out... everyone has a ""gang"" of friends, even the weirdest people at my school, and I just can not fit in.",5.04952928094885,5.946206302816907,5.737361008154192,80.55144922164567,68.71830985915493,9.218383988139363,31.84877687175685,9.414487439383343,2.815749295774647,1146,48,223,23,19,373,135,284,0.102,0.7609999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.9021,1,0,3,0,0,0,56.0,0,0,1,6,17,15,1,1,16,0,15,0,0,3,1,48,36,17,0,4,12,0,2,1,5,3,0,1,0,2,19,19,0,2,7,2,0,2,7,6,0,1,2,5,30,9,38,31,2,34,0,2,2,0,18,18,0,3,15,153,49,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514307291706546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816997793952293,0.0,0.0,0.06314510252209835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442532023659245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540298888220938,0.11010122544427466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844281053696988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012875382766252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058240865410738474,0.0,0.15556343180744614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23858900350422935,0.0,0.1521759243923577,0.08629268460945456,0.2434876690662872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34885674560714713,0.0,0.0,0.08663118121852256,0.05132383238590565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798586224469831,0.0,0.161795560442163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954148301144106,0.0,0.0,0.0889346947044344,0.10420272805012082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961625732587945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811936107202196,0.0,0.0,0.04411968203127156,0.09051183786575998,0.0,0.07991929412960229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072602013307762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721954454013298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504313940157568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180813531266812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05785329582706902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590311103357702,0.0,0.0,0.18279201900865724,0.14392676788933145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651725019835262,0.2085693725069245,0.0,0.0,0.12784022412633833,0.0,0.0,0.07550111222926062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517149259332604,0.07893273392433195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119992578117687,0.4050577888987463,0.0,0.0,0.1053180569127624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033495338647404,0.06131286336389302,0.0,0.08821730358604173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653140449502656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830371139948313,0.09873707261493897,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sleepwithmythoughts,2019/02/18,"Could subtle bullying have had an effect on my self esteem? So I’m a pretty insecure person. Don’t have much confidence. When I was like 7-11 ish I had a friend who I hung out with a lot. She was a bratty spoiled child and in retrospect I feel like she was subtly mean to me. I feel like maybe I ignored the ways she put me down because we had a good time hanging out despite it, and I guess I was too young to articulate my thoughts properly... I don’t remember any specific instances but I know we had a hate/love relationship and I know she made me feel insecure at times... just curious if this could be a contributing reason to why I’m like this. When I try to analyze my life and analyze why I feel insecure, I feel like I’ve felt this way since like, 4th grade. I was never severely bullied but it’s just some instances here and there ",2.2782273603082817,4.031638826589596,4.118404624277456,86.07779961464355,76.91907514450868,8.312755298651252,25.98420038535645,9.029198982220553,2.052101657032756,659,25,141,16,15,223,101,173,0.083,0.721,0.196,0.9496,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,1,8,12,0,3,9,0,16,1,0,3,1,36,30,11,0,3,5,0,6,6,1,0,1,0,0,3,6,10,0,1,13,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,12,6,27,8,11,15,3,16,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,4,12,89,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466274610574897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485679637453576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22228437870475096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519258464561767,0.2983397407231516,0.1336566148262566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754781595360807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675678886623972,0.0,0.0,0.15334768925222836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743404540637935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300454776553718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832312564829457,0.4080450359163437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11834532843093985,0.0,0.13171715064875056,0.0,0.0,0.13984802412941608,0.1516327678455124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023301490772932,0.0,0.1073618587866601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215466037890686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161939459575368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993736353753944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312376637019825,0.0,0.1494518203713453,0.1576897507740439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521898469841668,0.15725965552457072,0.0,0.1151500781353977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051155422639213,0.16234066194896787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450963221554504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22098556679885392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25121793293286176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dylanos99,2019/02/18,How can I get more out of counselling sessions? I went to my first ever counselling session today and I don't feel like I got much out of it. I don't really want to go to more if they are all going to feel the same but at the same time I don't want to give up on it after 1 session. What can I do to make it a more productive session?,0.8925438596491233,1.823904921052634,3.3236842105263165,93.79412280701756,78.73684210526315,6.119298245614036,21.87719298245614,6.42735559955562,0.1929982456140351,258,7,64,2,6,90,46,76,0.073,0.927,0.0,-0.42,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,2,15,18,4,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,2,9,1,14,16,7,13,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,6,50,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688035736434523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30051202025184864,0.2122953815151017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527691665172621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525692000433816,0.2850686135983362,0.3377724633789319,0.0,0.2376707204100684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451802504842783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19836054875094167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21845113211739847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037208775806005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732798286292596,0.0,0.2816785307207097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35055229949453426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754757706022559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leflamingmongoose,2019/02/18,"I dont think I've really wanted to live for about half of my life if not more. Everything is pointless. I'm too fucking stupid to do anything, okay? I cant even do basic janitorial work right, so how the fuck am I supposed to do anything that'll actually sustain myself? I dont even have the intelligence to play a simplified version of D&D. No matter how hard I try I cant do shit. Not even play a god damned video game. What the hell is the point of living if I'm going to be incapable of doing what it takes to live half decently? I dont like anything anymore. I dont have any friends anymore. I dont have anyone who thinks I'm even remotely capable of anything worthwhile. I need a gun. Fuck it, I take anything to make this fucking stop. I dont fucking care anymore I just want everything to go the fuck away.",1.5723633832231132,3.73339621893491,3.6480055690915414,86.61452836756004,80.89349112426034,6.580020884093282,26.50922380786634,7.724431198458867,1.6220759484859033,647,28,133,11,17,220,92,169,0.24,0.648,0.112,-0.9743,0,0,0,1,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,10,16,10,0,8,1,21,8,1,3,0,15,41,5,0,5,5,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,4,0,2,11,10,0,2,0,1,15,6,16,39,2,6,1,0,0,6,3,3,9,2,2,83,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.08168441878071553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069479149843646,0.0,0.056922558429026784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24903986367763184,0.058528778428896665,0.0,0.34441215729088753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864400088589645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534325803386142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5886127983197669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22114657137160112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504580747489422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467060263278887,0.4643058918397591,0.0,0.0,0.09514344244782076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498361812449737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05912361615188436,0.040894241846514884,0.0,0.2217402677787584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055874020236015835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062066510971550276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912868128558148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362383775778869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148397439541497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592241444575552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998148221004441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258721225568358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727011113154274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05683048805583379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987432551436038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609385453073101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sudlife,2019/02/18,"Feeling like my mind has shut down after first therapy session I went in, all excited to finally get on track to loving myself and making the most of life. I've been on a 5 month long waiting list to start online CBT (cannot do face to face due to unpredictable shifts in retail) and I had an orientation appointment last Friday (3 days ago).

Since I have slept 47 hours. I forced myself to go out to dinner to say goodbye to my ex colleagues, but I feel like my body and mind have completely shut down. I can't cook, I've forced myself to do washing, I haven't eaten properly. It's as if the therapy session opened me back up again and now I'm just a zombie. I'm on Sertraline and I forgot to take it yesterday, but I can't bring myself to do anything. My boyfriend is super annoyed I haven't seen him so he's coming over tonight, but if rather save myself the mental stress and stay alone.",3.2630219780219782,4.6349835439560465,4.521758241758246,85.7982417582418,73.45054945054945,7.617582417582418,25.08791208791209,8.192908349453996,1.4486549450549453,703,22,144,11,14,232,116,182,0.086,0.804,0.11,0.5346,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,1,1,6,0,14,10,4,1,1,26,32,13,0,3,7,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,9,3,2,2,1,1,4,5,2,0,1,7,4,21,6,25,25,2,34,0,0,1,1,5,13,0,3,18,88,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205596472171232,0.0,0.0,0.17765915523083664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115918783547093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190029263924755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905373881674973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776273564106365,0.1798518191344956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062627498802326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346711277421994,0.2450901421904082,0.0,0.18790887161684666,0.0,0.14590809870882615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962027418670254,0.0,0.09748763784535976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892801854786013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982441332182766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211606713239118,0.1676072648424511,0.0,0.0,0.15180361326842431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481758147874936,0.0,0.11450134890211296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728675450938834,0.0,0.3464041252123342,0.0,0.13691808404603914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641199870870493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189602576093124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214137847110633,0.1828341322997833,0.0,0.0,0.19649345694531214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897342773126255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3923318295364177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590152251666303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ApollosVale,2019/02/18,"Don't feel like I can do this.. My somewhat shortened backstory behind my depression, my father is an alcoholic, he was obsessed with my mom, and put us into hiding. We'd move almost once a month because he'd always find us. He stalked my mom and I until we fled to Texas when I was 5. I have very vivid memories of him beating the shit out of her, luckily there was always something to interfere, then he'd run away. 5 and up, I was abused physically, verbally, and sexually by different people. I never told my mom. She raised me herself, and she was always working. So basically I raised myself at home. I took all of the burden with a smile. That is until I was 14, when my mind caved in one day. I've been severely depressed since then. 
 I've had chronic clinical depression for 8 years, since then. I've been hospitalized for it twice, one of the times was because I attempted suicide. I really thought I wanted to die, so I swallowed 20 ambien. Quickly after I took them, it hit me, what I just did. I realized in that moment that wasn't what I wanted, that I wanted to keep fighting,  so I called 911 on myself, and barely survived. 
After that, I had a new outlook on life. I still had this pain, but I felt like I was able to handle it in a new way. 
That was 6 years ago. In the meantime, I got married, and had the chance to move to Alaska. I loved being so far away from my home state. It helped me to cope with all that happened to me. It feels like I've come to accept all that happened to me, but now I just feel empty..
I had a best friend from ages 15-19. My whole life I felt alone, so I started trying drugs and alcohol at 15. He took me aside one night to try and sway me from this life style. He was the only person who ever took an interest in me the way he did. So I stopped. We basically were together all day every day. I think I became reliant on him. Which made it all the more difficult, when I lost him. He became an awful person later, and developed a horrible god complex. I was 19 when my wife came along, and saw him from an outside perspective. He wasn't the same person, and I didn't even notice. She helped me to get away from him, despite him stalking me. We decided on a separate note around that time, on a whim,  to move to Alaska. Shortly before the move though, I developed a serious case of depersonalization. 
I really loved my 2 years there, and it made the depersonalization manageable, but I didn't have enough job experience to make it, so we moved back home. We've been back here a little over a year now. I hate being here, and have become plagued with anxiety, and extreme depression. I'm at an all new low, and my depersonalization has become severe because of that. There's nights where I can't even feel my body, because my mind is so split from reality. I feel like a broken man, a husk of the boy who woke up in the hospital. If I even try to face the numbness, i'm sent spiraling into an existential crisis. So I just live in autopilot. My life has been flipped upside down. The best friend that I knew is basically dead to me, my family is all distant, and I just feel so alone.. I feel so broken and insecure, I've fallen to the point again where I just want to die. I'm sick of the state of the world, and feel like it doesn't matter what I do, or where i am, because at any moment, a fucking nuke just might fall out of the sky and annihilate any life i make. 
I decided last night after deeply considering suicide, to get help. But I don't even know how.. I don't know what doctors to call, and I don't have insurance. Selfishly I wish I wasn't married. She's the only reason I don't end it right now. I feel like I've always tried to be kind, and tried to be a good person. But maybe that's why i'm at this point..",2.944488663878495,4.214463140259742,4.6865837552278276,84.7070911292098,74.0909090909091,7.921637684349547,24.86902927580893,8.492258126024794,1.5094393572529166,2918,91,621,52,59,991,314,770,0.162,0.747,0.091,-0.9942,3,2,4,0,4,3,114.0,7,0,1,7,45,34,4,2,41,1,58,21,3,6,9,103,111,51,5,6,13,5,11,6,2,1,14,0,3,6,33,38,3,3,23,0,0,17,13,18,0,4,46,13,109,16,83,56,14,109,0,6,2,3,54,41,2,5,53,416,142,4,0.05197936444841394,0.0615870471427956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04607657032813293,0.11110026532240626,0.052049825091448315,0.10766989082489373,0.0,0.0,0.173003980804595,0.0,0.0,0.07069550054655709,0.0,0.03976407152925969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046272654624307054,0.0,0.0,0.14650897186599066,0.07993784553228757,0.0,0.15843069056367545,0.1148142484440276,0.044230610684508766,0.0,0.10909827223333693,0.0,0.0,0.057737355993275535,0.0,0.0,0.10615348548635466,0.05945054546829506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477561990483757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056716977108844,0.0,0.17907900173324034,0.0,0.10789274762832236,0.05430737260482193,0.0,0.05320308206721307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060279560404139475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04603828860854112,0.053708578435170636,0.0,0.13732751995646333,0.04701831101836623,0.04379485639939459,0.0,0.0,0.05084579248859145,0.049001518756996036,0.0,0.2365409562324256,0.18567034173957514,0.09981668264667792,0.0,0.047508197420264964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031825606491225,0.04805408484823874,0.0543141451102906,0.0,0.0,0.043597824755087125,0.04157264615470622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193036063449032,0.0,0.0,0.05131886107174837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452201693538196,0.0,0.15641862204024948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158149866754067,0.04620164742928115,0.0,0.05412850927291619,0.057132998646060515,0.04237011961881403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357281161173886,0.15236695134228664,0.052096978646318834,0.04589873111405212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567416165397254,0.0,0.09382681164915124,0.0983682628990854,0.06939325879139221,0.0,0.05222025808986982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055141891448916416,0.10496868088346926,0.18263281025191952,0.04148943279066057,0.2762291914495148,0.0,0.0,0.04008969028879019,0.1506059822645988,0.0,0.14633733706836427,0.0,0.0,0.059178850941427164,0.0,0.05535632671462352,0.10566768776031188,0.07906529788577503,0.055309708590797764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03603594649618265,0.18154550439521647,0.0,0.0,0.0982746012382425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225361806745149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665986237466989,0.05344344380389345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04439009322852334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744377297769396,0.053356070642758616,0.08599573482331832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0400162542343714,0.0,0.0,0.036791261692907966,0.0,0.04151078759298568,0.04345707616074255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371397622865675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03330627790379729,0.05106946165691842,0.04126580922068932,0.060619170833692414,0.0,0.0,0.04966851025718628,0.2310039458841628,0.1764528822268976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504955076220464,0.0,0.0,0.04288841938936623,0.1226351035622771,0.08251760011777654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04690329154174381,0.05803310411653385,0.05977370385581796,0.0,0.0,0.03784159638968807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338920259774902
mentalhealth,BluePieceOfPaper,2019/02/18,"Book recommendation for dealing with ""The stressors of life"" ? Without going to deep into it, I'm a 29 year old man. Father of 2 boys and husband to a beautiful wife. I use to be in the military, and while I did not experience any PTSD type ""stuff"" I still had a very difficult transition to being a civilian after my service. Going from having all bills paid and great health insurance, to having nothing and having to rebuild has been tough for me. The last 3 years I have barely been making ends meet while we go further and further into debt. The stress is becoming overwhelming and I don't know how to cope with it. My entire life has been relatively cushioned (Great loving parents who supported me and even paid for my associate's degree while living at home, then I went into the military where they take care of everything).  So I guess my issue is, I don't know how to manage the ""stressors of life"" 

What I'm seeking is a good book recommendation. I'm open to anything that can help me assess and manage what's going on in my life either through direct advice and/or indirect advice that I can draw conclusions from. 

I went to see a doctor however the very first thing he did was try to write me a prescription. As someone who has witnessed firsthand what ""pills"" can do to people, and acknowledging that I have an addictive personality, I refuse to take them. I feel like this is an issue I can solve on my own through advice and meditation. I just need some guidance and a good book would really help. 
",6.665588235294117,6.952103777777778,7.201086601307192,73.60845588235296,65.04166666666667,10.109803921568627,32.21895424836602,9.916854025145753,3.1104466503267987,1200,44,215,24,17,395,163,288,0.062,0.8240000000000001,0.114,0.9424,3,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,2,2,7,12,0,2,17,0,29,9,0,4,1,39,53,19,0,2,4,4,1,1,0,1,8,0,1,3,13,18,0,1,5,3,4,6,4,4,0,1,11,2,28,8,37,39,4,31,0,1,1,1,20,13,0,3,13,152,41,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177819873270446,0.0,0.3274792673630467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596526440040971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192615832241358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337269943001553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389374160717106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516603347307705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433786209607265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894012319460173,0.0,0.0,0.07378207440567679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039593919281446,0.10927185012292334,0.0,0.0,0.05648291661751794,0.07980421097533709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950187599411754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25394490202071685,0.18739072553121425,0.0,0.2463169085265968,0.1230589459788546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187403705601758,0.0,0.0,0.1497510231113207,0.0,0.11205222292386267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23318823957646115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278358069699255,0.0910569220003053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156106301080058,0.054574881735123634,0.0,0.0986402024956618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082082310289736,0.0,0.07456595131146418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283005975993618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718682999071516,0.0,0.11721874507833795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240385040767238,0.0,0.0,0.07744425549964791,0.09753910882211016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058066339764796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156299937772732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901680581595607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464981813132996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921014578272125,0.0,0.12796112608359894,0.0,0.12787892360743178,0.0,0.12676490420394818,0.0,0.0,0.16798101375912258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421382542176741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584239307424173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647983766697496,0.0,0.1843415828979533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071088533235203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768251685936583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935415163283782,0.0,0.0,0.1438725672192996
mentalhealth,sprintfury,2019/02/18,Why do I have so many psychological issues despite having good and a loving family background? My parents have always been nice and supportive to me. But I was always angry and anxious and later depressed in my life.,6.204615384615384,8.30719817948718,7.331282051282053,65.65538461538463,67.2051282051282,8.276923076923078,30.948717948717945,8.841846274778883,3.102702564102564,175,7,24,3,3,59,32,39,0.225,0.593,0.182,-0.2746,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,0,5,8,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,4,2,6,0,2,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4589953346756925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115890376208092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23755645954406396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600109939306928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313380081952647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28787605536642685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948141625671772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24893108594476634,0.0,0.0,0.27963006358172743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30625657050300203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129881733951669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24887741771572555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PowerfulRemove,2019/02/18,"overcoming negative thoughts/self-image Hi All,

I (F, 24) have been depressed for quite some time now, I think around 3 years after my ex dumped me. It had its ups and downs, but at this point I am at an all time low wherein my friends start to give up on me as well (and I do not blame them). In March, I will go back to therapy (OCD, anxiety) but at this moment I feel like nothing will solve my problems and I will just continue to be the lonely disgusting person I am already.  
For me, the problem right now is that somewhere inside me I do have my passions, dreams and motivations to accomplish goals like working out more often, finish my master thesis and enjoying a hobby. I am so mad at myself that I gave up. However, the ongoing thought about me being worthless and an evil person continuously hinders me in order to finally start with what I want to do. Simply said, I do not deserve to be happy since I 'screwed up' so much in my life Thus, instead, I lay in my bed and try to sleep away the day in order to give myself a break from all these thoughts (which makes me feel even more worthless of course).

I was wondering if there are any other people here who encountered such negative thoughts as well, and how they deal(t) with them. I was quite hesitant with creating this post, but at this point I feel like something really needs to change, because it is starting to damage my overall wellbeing, and creating more hurtful habits (drinking, purging, overeating etc). At this point, I only feel happy when I am under influence (alcohol) or when my mind is totally distracted (extremely loud music for example). I just dont understand how I ended up this way. I used to have so many interests, be healthy, even modelled a few times, good grades.. Now I only 'care' because I know it is expected from me. 

Thank you for listening:)",7.118440601503758,6.734017620000002,7.3387819548872235,75.25706015037596,64.22857142857143,10.911278195488725,35.849624060150376,10.426177893888326,3.6848,1437,61,267,31,19,467,203,350,0.168,0.6659999999999999,0.166,-0.4711,1,2,3,0,0,0,57.0,0,1,3,7,24,29,5,1,9,0,28,6,1,7,4,53,54,23,0,6,9,1,4,3,1,3,2,3,1,2,17,14,2,0,12,2,0,1,5,15,2,0,9,7,48,14,49,38,11,56,0,7,0,2,15,28,1,5,25,202,65,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893306313283634,0.0,0.0,0.11248321074656052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931646294360781,0.0,0.07797680953767949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074005346226656,0.0,0.0,0.0957673745452116,0.07837852005845239,0.0,0.1242721814733317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392527929620074,0.0,0.10782930755123007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573695584478663,0.10508621479313626,0.08779287855417099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946217911052233,0.09985341251803953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028046485700922,0.0,0.113679824873973,0.1346487099547573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061571707841752,0.14563881733256964,0.0,0.11166024705846464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875151002788715,0.0,0.0,0.1955626893378443,0.05792964234895165,0.0854947480587597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170145378384232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911906671482413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056018521021699096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719967629914953,0.14939477130645282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803962365867962,0.10334186769428623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292108581799607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493089180622534,0.07558042235860983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780538497084627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504598591576255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066600648213747,0.17800414638414302,0.0,0.0,0.2890727572064791,0.0,0.09762156334384353,0.0,0.0,0.19506808546880547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21683197920560326,0.0,0.0,0.0652995027879204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704837588106118,0.0969595657124775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633609086631836,0.0,0.0,0.08431823977628189,0.0,0.102004447915584,0.0,0.0,0.07847133643115223,0.0,0.0,0.2164415082772249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384421773915463,0.11656679282354945,0.0,0.0,0.06531316307995225,0.0,0.24276509086743034,0.17831006823405993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692043458359484,0.0,0.0,0.10611359369188388,0.0,0.08803551393170819,0.0,0.0,0.06012144723455155,0.08090795208377463,0.0,0.0,0.18329612356733813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053964213846017,0.07420686164164997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564011560397147
mentalhealth,stereotypicalbritish,2019/02/18,"Don't know what to do next. I need help. Hi, just for a bit of context, I'm 19 years old, male and I live in the UK.

​

I've struggled a bit with mental health in my past, specifically a stretch of depression throughout my teens and some ongoing but mild social anxiety.

​

But that's not what I need help with today.

​

Recently I've been feeling down in the dumps. Constantly tired, short on breath as if doing anything at all takes all my effort, having headaches and at some points blurred vision and feeling as if I'm going to collapse. While this is worrying and I am definitely going to see a doctor about it the thing I need advice on is how to bring up some horrible thoughts I have been having alongside all this.

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I keep having thoughts of wanting to hurt or even kill those around me and frankly it's driving me insane. I feel like all it's going to take is me being in the wrong place at the wrong time and it's going to make me snap and do something I'll regret.  I need someone to talk to about it in confidence but don't know where to start at all. I'm worried about bringing it up because I feel like it's going to lead to more trouble or the police getting involved or something.

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I really just need some advice on what I should do, who I should talk to, what will happen after etc.

​

Also, as a side note, my single parent not knowing  would be preferable for reasons unrelated, unless it is unavoidable.",5.731134179161862,6.242012726643603,5.9014244521337975,81.3489917339485,67.06228373702422,8.221530180699732,31.972510572856606,7.984000788550335,2.2437449442522115,1174,46,221,13,18,373,151,289,0.18600000000000005,0.733,0.081,-0.9893,1,1,2,0,1,0,49.0,0,0,0,2,10,11,2,1,11,0,23,4,1,4,5,59,56,23,1,13,13,1,4,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,18,11,0,1,11,0,0,9,4,9,0,0,4,5,21,2,44,46,14,42,0,3,1,0,10,22,0,10,13,154,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257436712170273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051452291964397184,0.0,0.4182710668981833,0.4690773643834314,0.0,0.0,0.04921955771437304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529459439741726,0.05727581475660658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039220775026465086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048418701039442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952816552676426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541553544608584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585422638279997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175557367015152,0.04249564703966007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012798068816106,0.09192833379121047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03361474438043482,0.0,0.18282816339064498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05689522622982598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838990252482571,0.0,0.0,0.08625084986058666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887678828810719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05718792278278944,0.07118214766129573,0.0,0.10607795490154097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286608041664295,0.0,0.0568129760913001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429471300940362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483910468627394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385346991247901,0.0,0.0,0.06842581085310334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751350456605867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144142437077282,0.0,0.06141935328048875,0.0,0.0,0.06722110582343474,0.0,0.06082164403038341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041217544873221,0.0661517436619891,0.06352751533818712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051270268436120016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558603953153902,0.054514667635416174,0.09906341373279068,0.0,0.0,0.04553984435286521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726163730453145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675062577967747,0.10342734021867443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042744319077368316,0.0,0.0,0.10215678628751522,0.03751689229372422,0.0739488150458086,0.06098634320047405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037949116661444585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306798140557461,0.0,0.04570494996358199,0.14069033277971185,0.4690773643834314,0.041432542284082996
mentalhealth,jose13santos,2019/02/18,"Last week I felt like I was having a heart attack Like I said in the title, last week I thought I was having a heart attack. Let me explain:

Since high school I started questioning authority and having trouble keeping up with the life that others seem keep up just fine, like the routinely trip to school/work, the 8 hours a day grind thing, etc. Now I'm 23 and my knowledge is greater as well as my anger. I'm currently a software developer, working 8 hours a day for a company that I don'l like. I've been dwelling with alternative routes, ways of being happy, ways of undermining this modern slavery. This is getting me more and more anxious, less sleep, more frustrated and hopeless. As my knowledge increases, as I investigate wars, social media phenomenons, mass culture, conflicts, rich men's games, economy, capitalism, you name it, my hope shrinks further.  This added to the fact that I have to get up at the same hour to take the same trip to sit in the same chair looking at the same thing 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, till I'm 66 years old, is getting me depressed. I have loads and loads of hobbies, I love photography/videography, playing drums/guitar/instruments in general, riding my bike, quadcopters, etc etc etc. I just have no time or mental state to do so. I found myself spending the money I earn on these hobbies just to realize I have no time to do them at all. And when I get home I just feel like smoking a J and watch Youtube/Netflix and f\*ck all. Sometimes I don't even want to talk to my GF,  I just want to lie down and try to get out of my mind...Some thoughts have been crossing my mind and I'm thinking of resigning and take some time off to do something else, but ""something else"" has to be something that generates income. I thought of online poker but I now that poker is really harsh on the mental aspect.

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Now that you understand the context, let me explain what I experienced last week:

I vaped some weed before going to bed, as I usually do, went to wash my teeth, pee and then to bed. In bed my mind revolves around everything, the possibilities, the problems, the solutions, etc. This is usual as well. Then I started shaking, feeling more anxious and unwell. I decided to get up, take a deep breath and go wash my face. I went back to bed feeling a bit better. 1/2 minutes in, I started shaking again, worse than before. Got up again and thought of grabing a cup of milk to relax a bit. As I try to crouch to grab the milk carton I realize I'm really shaking bad and I couldn't get the milk. Now I know I've never felt this before. I stand again, without the f\*cking milk, and check my pulse to see  what's up. I could see it was beating fast, really fast. I pulled out my phone's stopwatch and started counting the heart rate pulses for 30 sec. 82 heart beats so my heart was beating 164 bpm. I never felt my heart beating so fast so I thought best to wake up my GF in case things took the wrong turn. I was lucid and relatively calm throughout all of this. Around 5 minutes went by of me talking to my GF describing what I was feeling and suddenly I felt dizzy and almost passing out. It was at this time that I decided we should head to the hospital to check what was happening. The car was parked like 200/300m from our house so we started walking and I was feeling a bit better so I decided to ask her to walk further just to see if we could avoid a trip to the hospital, guessing this was just an anxiety/panic attack. I was feeling way better, talking to my GF about unrelated stuff, making jokes and whatnot when I suddenly felt chest pain and my left arm went numb. This time I immediately turned back and started walking really fast towards the car. I really thought I was going through a heart attack. All the way to the hospital I'm trying to breathe deep, trying to keep my GF calm and tell her the route to the hospital as I'm shaking uncontrolably and starting to mumble words. When we get to the hospital I tell the guy I think I might be having a heart attack and they ask me about my address, phone number and tell me to pay 16 euros (can you f\*cking believe this?). After that I went to the nurse and she just though I took some drugs, more than I could handle (I need to state that I'm used to smoking weed since I'm 16 years old). She kept asking me if I took something as I replied that I was lying on my bed and I didn't take anything. She measured my heart rate to find it was \~160bpm and my blood pressure was like 16.something, also really high. She asked again if I wasn't taking anything for ""this"". The next nurse or doctor (the hospital is really bad so I don't even know if they had any doctors available) also kept asking me if I didn't take anything and just gave me a pill, which I had to ask what pill was that and what was going to do, cause I'm curious about drugs in general and hate prescription drugs. Turns out it was a Valium. My heart rate droppped (80 something) as well as my blood pressure. I went home and woke up the next day (skipped work obviously) to find I was still shaking a bit and felling a disconfourt on my chest. I went to another doctor to explain the situation and they just tell me it's anxiety and lack of sleep and prescribe me Victam and some vitamines. I'm taking the vitamines but I refuse to take Victam. I've done an electrocardiogram and some blood analysis but everything seems normal, my heart just as a bit of arrhythmia but doesn't look too serious.

​

I'm sharing this with you my dear reddit friends to find if this is normal among anxious and depressed people.

​

TLDR; I started trembling really hard to the point I couldn't grab a cup of milk. My heartrate was through the roof, I felt some chest pain and my left arm went numb. Went to the hospital just to take a Valium and got sent home again. I've done an electrocardiogram and some blood analysis and everything seems okay. Do you guys ever felt something similar?",4.899601752677704,5.8263621803418815,5.435180136319377,82.47349074975658,69.07692307692308,8.522341231201992,30.62209239424429,8.732326602095473,2.3237317970355957,4701,185,925,76,79,1512,416,1170,0.131,0.787,0.08199999999999999,-0.9962,3,1,10,0,0,1,159.0,5,5,4,11,49,62,9,11,66,1,69,52,29,3,9,182,188,88,1,20,26,0,16,7,6,2,17,1,9,3,43,60,5,8,42,7,7,36,13,34,3,0,64,24,134,28,129,112,35,154,0,4,6,1,58,43,0,23,74,580,177,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03150064347702376,0.0,0.0,0.05031390338861744,0.0,0.10225419143976756,0.11467474184486395,0.021392519131757062,0.03298645647641229,0.024065284335487217,0.1066157594574132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766176223341974,0.05600857999022308,0.17645390411779135,0.17894008539199155,0.0,0.04837852131126001,0.05253223295700892,0.0,0.0,0.08030532449412578,0.03544239413798205,0.033013230798985584,0.08346613530367343,0.17171994538553353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03231603209552461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534996109483233,0.0,0.0,0.10143903957687088,0.0,0.054189459598654316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965957897341792,0.0,0.06438491314533701,0.0,0.0,0.10944388023819658,0.0,0.052558245755772184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541993093976266,0.04155542538454328,0.028455562524545657,0.0,0.0,0.08481726747948047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954366617870555,0.0224736018963355,0.2114322967763612,0.0,0.08625612784725989,0.0,0.0,0.03449207391648591,0.02430437320924628,0.0,0.13148405535446844,0.0,0.07151322670656114,0.0,0.05031967360562841,0.0,0.0346545342396295,0.06229673277797069,0.02781820601676801,0.03348762657115645,0.028180189534114393,0.031058262797767976,0.032284984223263466,0.0,0.0,0.4100567036022497,0.0,0.06647420954298887,0.0946648185157259,0.031244892640623176,0.12391917533858167,0.036298309031462896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388394895644252,0.0,0.0,0.034576988836385644,0.0769274073359219,0.0,0.0,0.0683584193390571,0.06433587386522571,0.02221971612967558,0.1075815305314728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283359516608396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028392073721217687,0.0,0.020998459659143362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340453115765997,0.03337196734339167,0.09529083873829128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02332570882343244,0.04852469873521115,0.0,0.06691188098934646,0.0,0.06164432279496751,0.0,0.0,0.06601975959621288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694706113135639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021809016666990824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029737978667686005,0.035464168996791764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030101058054430536,0.0,0.0,0.03524016014556588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122240557153314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029923762356404388,0.0,0.0,0.06367435208865041,0.07520386073146372,0.0859145467306266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05204476630718013,0.035360110684777166,0.06296143833345086,0.032067469986713934,0.0,0.1695253401900453,0.03111276694759736,0.0,0.17812907776300496,0.0,0.025122399895094797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03601188439759751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128725129228363,0.07585424776273646,0.10998271627996263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269789328216208,0.040314033100048566,0.03090732584387555,0.14984483138238847,0.09171706556890412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485298838609734,0.08543166973194684,0.10265181369977107,0.0,0.032748888024478444,0.0,0.02716961218275501,0.06929308656087968,0.0,0.037109487575568006,0.09987958642791914,0.10093484217546106,0.0,0.0848535614125588,0.2624569352746307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030324389972863863,0.0,0.06870539724458223,0.0,0.03205839011802978,0.0,0.03439438526902264,0.11467474184486395,0.040515841958384216
mentalhealth,SomeDudeWhatevs,2019/02/18,"Don't know if i should get help, seeking opinions Hello everyone,

some info about me, i'm 33, male, single for 3 years now (came out of a 5 year relationship), living alone, got a few friends but not a very active social life.
My friend told me several times that i should seek out a psychologist and that i show signs of a depression but she isn't really an expert on the subject and neither am i so i'm just looking for some opinions and maybe advice.

It's been a long time since i was able to say that i'm fine. Most of the time i don't think i feel anything at all ... everything is just so dull. I have nothing that i really look forward to, recently i'm not having with my hobbies, which are mainly video games, anime/manga and cosplay.
I also get emotional fast and react angry, especially towards friends when i don't really have to react that way. I'm lucky i have patient and forgiving friends that want to help me and aren't angry at me for long ... since i'm mostly angry with myself afterwards and i really hate myself in these situations ... Well i should say i hate myself even more.

For a long time i could kind of keep these feelings in check by keeping my mind occupied, buying new games, working a lot, working out ... but that doesn't seem to cut it anymore.
I don't know how much of this is because of my loneliness. I'm pretty much feeling lonely all the time. Especially lately since my ex-GF (who is also still a good friend of mine) got a new boyfriend and is pretty happy. I don't love her anymore, that i'm sure of. But it still kind of ... sucks. I don't even know why. Maybe it's just envy.

Right now i just feel like there is nothing in this world that's keeping me here. I work, go home, watch stuff and play games, go to bed, get up ... rinse and repeat. But it's not fulfilling or fun ... it all seems so meaningless.
I just sat here for half an hour, head in my hands ... not knowing what to do. I just hate what my life is right now.

I rambled a bit i guess ... i don't know what i'm even expecting by writing this since all someone can say is ""just try a psychologist"". I actually have one right next door and since i live in Germany the first hour is free anyway. But i just can't get myself to make an appointment ... 

Well anyway, thanks for reading. ",2.9397186147186147,4.305852993506498,4.279935064935066,87.2351406926407,74.25974025974024,7.297835497835499,24.52164502164502,7.8897218956490685,1.1866424242424247,1761,54,374,25,36,582,216,462,0.13699999999999998,0.703,0.159,0.6637,0,3,0,0,0,0,82.0,0,0,0,4,31,29,5,0,19,0,34,5,2,4,5,82,80,27,0,7,20,0,5,1,5,3,2,3,3,1,26,18,0,3,14,7,3,4,16,8,2,3,7,11,48,22,41,69,17,49,0,3,3,1,24,18,1,13,29,241,74,4,0.07021008146863454,0.0,0.06851491158737573,0.0,0.0,0.06860847903020313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271647014881348,0.0,0.11229395356852656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925906961041593,0.0,0.0,0.05777691476204391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042799413996863885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665122471207612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030162902099743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056057037006379436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047184028909475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789768916336016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391192899289532,0.0,0.0,0.06708874163022141,0.06310029405182138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200130706979747,0.050158096229830126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597206594303838,0.0,0.0,0.2712206738951484,0.0,0.14672747901245647,0.0,0.07980401458117478,0.05888888524113765,0.11230683192694184,0.0,0.07734432029227621,0.0,0.0,0.07473993727452144,0.0,0.2079537594366412,0.07205579919581312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412067528685207,0.0,0.07042643629317258,0.0,0.13828557500538588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872178391031062,0.0,0.14622599126231325,0.19292812311452254,0.0,0.07920003003251214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918291380016872,0.0343010993573747,0.0,0.12399357649025206,0.18640113815197415,0.11791757114556857,0.0,0.0,0.059690100528360074,0.06336733971003898,0.0,0.04686577457053105,0.0,0.14107092742319036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070892167638925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032249767099184,0.0,0.0,0.13561866837823386,0.07466921815790087,0.0,0.0,0.13473693349104685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047576168254337005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285778766702942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022908131379814,0.0,0.17991350408276668,0.0,0.06932398524293631,0.07537935210782505,0.0,0.17987707785853882,0.0,0.16750162443055105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783324252559838,0.0,0.07931740755440612,0.0,0.2903925246090857,0.07891907325784285,0.0,0.0715703362932248,0.05948877418804799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213972350982214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037374566676574,0.0,0.0,0.06617217088200404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464000999438216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04498778524626504,0.0,0.0,0.2047003155943977,0.0,0.0,0.06708874163022141,0.0,0.0476680366064148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793067020618891,0.04141172513068614,0.055729494659510784,0.0,0.0,0.12625459026423094,0.0,0.06335367804585447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334132652160132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042598107571667
mentalhealth,Sebastian83100,2019/02/18,"I Physically Can’t Love Someone Some backstory is needed here...I’m a freshman in college and I am in the process of getting out of my long distance high school sweetheart relationship of almost two years. We tried long distance and it failed...it’s mostly my fault. 

My mom passed away when I was 11 and it devastated me and I’m still not over it, I want to get over it, but I can’t. I don’t cry about anything except when it’s her, I don’t get that upset about anything except when it involves her. 

Basically being long distance with my girlfriend I came off as distant and cold in person so long distance it’s worse. Well tonight she texted me and said she’s done and I’m not too heartbroken over it, but the thing is that I love she’s everything I could want in a person, i mean sometimes she annoyed me, but I loved spending me time with her, she made me happy. What scares me I’m not hurt by it at all. I mean I feel sad about it, but ever since I saw my mom get wheeled out of house on a stretcher I haven’t felt anything that awful and it’s scary. 

I’m scared I’ll go through life not feeling anything, just numb to every feeling on this beautiful planet. 

Anyways long story short, any suggestions on how to love and feel again? I’ve been going on and off to counselingservices since she passed and I’m going bi weekly now. What else should I do? I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I want to actually feel love the way my girlfriend loved me.

TLDR: Had my mother die when I was 11, very traumatic and I haven’t felt anything really since then. Just got out of first serious relationship almost two years and I want to be able to actually feel love. Any suggestions?",1.91129411764706,4.137299541176476,3.198823529411765,89.93970588235297,80.05882352941177,6.0,23.52941176470589,7.1686216300943375,0.8647941176470592,1324,46,276,17,34,429,160,340,0.16699999999999998,0.667,0.166,0.9104,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,0,1,18,20,1,3,6,1,20,10,0,2,2,59,61,25,1,8,12,3,9,1,3,1,2,1,0,2,19,20,0,0,11,0,1,6,11,9,1,3,12,12,46,11,41,45,3,47,0,2,1,8,31,20,0,4,21,175,65,2,0.07422833608946143,0.0,0.14487229691421033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865791266532494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009556278778754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361456365184227,0.0,0.0,0.3054179796875093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973996520345448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489744183197813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059265286352755374,0.0,0.08153634170013224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703729371795855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759613593473516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062008250030694836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714377964535903,0.0625405745972555,0.0,0.06671164220646693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627245392714723,0.05302873813383409,0.14254168640684106,0.0,0.0,0.06313858475813283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512496778061113,0.0,0.12655702197695215,0.0,0.059367181258291615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901744403753272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842631249696468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564953376006419,0.07946296901073144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05242966897268141,0.0362642155952299,0.0,0.0,0.3284487080482887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4689577997192898,0.0702366463739305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617128375676198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738706602026819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503937066650423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962663990584936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04755257282408341,0.0,0.0,0.15938690756156185,0.0,0.0,0.07060814573900563,0.0,0.14863102732695874,0.07512303898426646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184207340002988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628934282885455,0.0,0.07341372240611653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05927884508569451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049314008197101404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04328313970223137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039616772879557,0.0,0.1450205971206481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061246151094038435,0.21890897907718584,0.058918998143165986,0.05954149382675453,0.0,0.06674018860921882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564501597932534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560122954003623
mentalhealth,flowersaregrowin,2019/02/18,"How do I write a mail to a therapist? Not sure this is the right sub, but I’ll try anyway. 

After years of indecision (in which I made my situation worse), I finally decided to see a therapist, but I don’t know where to start to schedule an appointment. 
I’ll write an email (I’m too anxious to make a phone call), but I don’t really know what to say. Should I sum up my situation a bit or just ask for general information (prices, address...)?",5.311,4.702896988888892,7.294444444444448,74.82500000000002,68.0,12.088888888888887,32.44444444444444,11.602472056035307,3.6843777777777778,339,13,74,11,5,121,61,90,0.084,0.916,0.0,-0.6748,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,8,0,5,0,0,3,1,19,13,5,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,8,1,11,11,1,9,0,0,1,0,9,4,0,2,5,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22921818870436844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189683234906048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215132268212616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071826291927721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222660063119372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301603793649286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919879996703271,0.13543670034747154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998233553277833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732746915103401,0.0,0.16135347897695912,0.0,0.0,0.16168428408866994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4561340967676448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436130013806436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19122996602990125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711629020711148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775514539505349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677147974267504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066034451374264
mentalhealth,Impressive_Concept,2019/02/18,"just_nicole_uk youtube drama channel exposes herself as abuse survivor while talking about her mental health she's also talking about what led to her issues, PTSD, depression and suicide and the physical stuff that it caused.  She is talking about how it hasn't destroyed her, she didn't let her past twist who she is. something I worry about a lot coming from an abusive past. 

no ads, no merch, no begging for subs, no clickbait for views. just real open discussion

​

am normally a lurker but had to share she does have trigger warnings included

[https://youtu.be/WpJekREZhg8](https://youtu.be/WpJekREZhg8)",10.988484848484852,12.577384161616163,7.889444444444441,67.88750000000002,55.868686868686865,9.42828282828283,40.74242424242424,9.2995712137729,4.1501636363636365,508,24,68,7,6,143,76,99,0.21,0.731,0.059,-0.9069,0,0,1,0,1,1,28.0,0,0,0,0,7,3,1,0,4,0,8,1,0,4,0,13,9,7,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,2,0,2,6,2,0,0,2,1,11,1,10,6,1,6,0,1,1,0,16,1,0,1,3,51,17,0,0.0,0.39548170835698143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346423112009634,0.0,0.1808284406519617,0.2027932005328871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144503153207113,0.0,0.14376349796127125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374465253244706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146049144452771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739940065585644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419287873913988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065934782560305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188641719943254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818883907945215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635196554161735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186364085450721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19508892649317824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18996071362296488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284823458897377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105249796216286,0.1825537985231815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4024266921471744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948789101499895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027932005328871,0.0
mentalhealth,LookingForAdvice1995,2019/02/18,"Please, i need to move on and leave the past behind me but i just cant Hello, im an average guy in my 20’s living with my lovely girlfriend, i have been very stressed out during 2018 and i did some things i really really regret now after ”waking up” from the stress.
Long story stort; I got a new job in 2018 wich really put me to the test, i have been very stressed out and constantly searching for things that would make me calm down so to speak, as many of you redditers know, porn is a great relief for some even though nobody wants to admit it. I have a pretty unusual fetish that i didnt want to drag my girlfriend into, as i thought it would scare her off and leave me if i told her, this made me use porno related to this fetish instead of forcing it on her, it never harmed our sexlife though.
Months went by and i found a website for people with this fetish, i dont know why but i started chatting with random girls on there who had the same fetish, exchanging pics anonymously etc, mark my words, i have never sent a pic of myself naked, never shown more than my upper body, and that was sent by request. It wasnt pure sexchatting but still pretty innapropriate, again, 100% anonymous still.
I was asked by someone in this website to upload a pic of my girlfriend as i had talked about my problem and mentioned her being unaware of my fetish, so i cropped the face out and everyrhing that could recognize her from the picture and uppladed it, nothing 100% naked. People started saying like wow, shes so pretty etc, this made me feel so damn good, i loved the attention her pictures got. After a few minutes i deleted the pic and told myself that it was the first and last time, then a few days later i would repeat it all again, uploading and deleting, day after day.
Time went by and i didnt think too much of it, until january this year when things started to calm down at work, then i suddenly reslized what i had done, i started feeling a huge wave of anxiety and panic, because this was not who i really am, i would never do something like that i mean.
I felt that i had to tell her about it, so i did, i had a mental breakdown and just cried and cried while telling her, i made it clear to her that i would never ever touch another woman IRL and i dont understand how i could ”dirty chat” with others online like that. I also told her that i uploaded pics of her and all that, she took it very well and we are actually getting engaged as i promised myself to ask her IF she forgave me, but i just CANT FORGIVE MYSELF!
I feel like the worlds most disgusting man alive, i love my gf more than words can describe and i would never ever cheat on her, none of us really consider this chatting as cheating as i never have sent or asked for fully naked pics or having Cam sex etc, but i feel so god damn horrible for chatting with others and uploading sensitive pics of her..
Reddit, please help me! I WILL NEVER do those things again and i feel like i have been a different person during that time!
What the hell am i to do? Can this behaviour have been caused by stress without me noticing it? Is my guilt a sign of me being myself again? It was so hard telling her, i have never ever done anything so hard in my life. I have a battle in my brain right now, i cant seem to stop thinking about this.
Please, help me find a way to ease my pain.
Thank you in advance.",6.099217975371822,5.542505585798818,6.250494162801857,82.79097153366386,66.36686390532545,9.142427634735329,29.95666080281465,8.358175599149588,1.961061378538301,2640,79,542,31,37,843,294,676,0.129,0.695,0.17600000000000002,0.9892,2,0,1,0,0,0,67.0,3,2,0,3,35,37,7,7,26,0,58,11,4,7,16,110,105,54,0,15,14,0,9,5,4,7,2,2,0,5,47,32,0,1,19,4,1,9,20,18,1,1,38,11,104,19,78,56,15,83,1,1,0,5,63,23,3,9,55,404,151,3,0.0,0.0,0.05487479128665525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044969095938829584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896466090147937,0.04301769519725092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046274541779284924,0.0,0.1577093409303865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03427879940082711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246161135150077,0.0,0.06277404766827012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057766249477463776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060767336626857626,0.0,0.08979412319464118,0.0,0.12353748310408093,0.10879589764542937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058750975738455974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150907061963665,0.13180810138410734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188142247118064,0.03714102434992474,0.1525964993742641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216416374466934,0.0803449934672337,0.05399200163061695,0.0,0.051395470267474125,0.04783132088792722,0.0,0.061656014604923634,0.0,0.0,0.029379151196004764,0.0,0.0,0.04716513838874526,0.08994850638020731,0.06199651047409852,0.0,0.055678998533076715,0.0,0.0,0.10074651826919713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538289537947407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074073064219575,0.0,0.055802062066630125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061807803550818566,0.045836978486773615,0.0,0.11908415927550756,0.0,0.0,0.03971866538166429,0.13736175268491332,0.0,0.049654312274134235,0.04976397747926782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522560327562188,0.15962560375748386,0.03753561872097908,0.05701091121763958,0.0,0.06125365855937835,0.0,0.0,0.05666911633873273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044884231042139774,0.059766229691114975,0.04133734482969347,0.041695673254380776,0.3903296141376614,0.0543096820050552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05395658355696888,0.06402105403237249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059835326064559186,0.06597670224828364,0.0,0.0,0.05368026738405228,0.07796904607097653,0.049100034730837315,0.0,0.18517913846153194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162595193392882,0.0,0.05380689138963509,0.0,0.056529176428152375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011984102179968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802223280573905,0.0,0.04471832709039947,0.056298524818156566,0.0,0.0,0.051191940123448375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047645599940752015,0.043290512298853084,0.0,0.0,0.15920656216134454,0.0,0.08981466632555013,0.047012873293695794,0.25765647485504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519753938473583,0.14744900475538178,0.0517713148134983,0.0,0.0,0.14943345083715084,0.07206300843545231,0.11049625709623152,0.044642309875569434,0.09836883826578356,0.0,0.0,0.1611976404558803,0.06247635711860521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853999742726883,0.06764075272426996,0.0485668101490814,0.0,0.13919306161287134,0.06633475022349594,0.04463472720170457,0.0,0.0,0.050559755016953215,0.10425614929284258,0.05074106905289777,0.0,0.0,0.05420610646896059,0.0,0.04093791698546667,0.0,0.0,0.23967565307456995,0.0,0.0,0.03621187507549297
mentalhealth,tstavron,2019/02/18,"17 year old forced to stop paxil 20mg cold turkey. Looking for advice! I was very recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as well as anxiety, anxiety related insomnia, and severe depression from the previous improper diagnosis of Bipolar ii, and I was taking Paxil 20mg for 2 months. After my third change of psychiatrist, I was instructed to stop Paxil cold turkey in favor of staring prozac in 2 weeks because of the risks associated with adolescents taking Paxil. He is adamant on me stopping as soon as possible and I do understand why this is important, for the drug is **still not FDA approved for treating depression in teens even though it is commonly used for it**. I am currently 3 days in, and I am experiencing the full force of the withdrawals- Severe headaches and zaps, cold sweats, strange dreams and waking up in sweats, equilibrium and balance issues, tingling of extremities and numbness in hands, lightheadedness, suicidal ideation, dissociation, severe mood swings and racing thoughts. As someone very new to all of this and the processes associated with treatment, Id really appreciate anything, **and I mean anything**, anyone has to say about their personal experiences with withdrawals from Paxil or any antidepressant for that matter as well as any tips for managing this hell for the next 2 weeks. Thankfully, I am not currently enrolled in high school, so i am not forced to deal with this while stuck in class, but its challenging to go through this seemingly alone without contact from others. **Appreciate any feedback or thoughts I can get.**",7.165569449138224,9.845324342007435,7.339231159175402,64.22208769854683,65.80297397769516,11.284961135518756,37.50608313619466,11.115808304768276,5.2801434944237915,1284,68,186,43,22,414,161,269,0.14300000000000002,0.802,0.054000000000000006,-0.9556,2,1,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,1,2,8,12,1,1,7,0,14,11,4,1,1,34,27,24,1,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,2,10,16,0,3,5,1,0,1,4,5,2,1,6,8,13,6,50,21,2,32,1,2,2,0,7,12,1,3,19,122,23,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002853485483327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661658709511664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22970956690561625,0.0,0.17227287128171706,0.0,0.0,0.07873047590426381,0.0,0.18531555777243586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863811705616288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911274986952065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261578281956117,0.11608261521518755,0.1939593496615917,0.11428363637361283,0.0,0.0,0.12904597512366614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057683168560255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436929009988658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101415213248296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05882731175098931,0.0,0.06399149874780731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896496613657567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752206736281053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455316434777597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226511972357876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898738916792959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874693326207964,0.119748240870534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11815166391153738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196630803308447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693625671582315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213255393007391,0.0,0.11117600381755302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895416940802354,0.0,0.11395422664027208,0.0,0.10250412616378124,0.0,0.3816078536525963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540311571896927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992015018566506,0.2824085285963707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316289829222332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16931793859355146,0.0,0.0,0.10366423645031783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106260306867108,0.1787789621840079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172175007909816,0.0,0.09724769998731793,0.0,0.18580871799065848,0.0,0.0,0.1806371247429268,0.0,0.20247654199352247,0.0,0.10160132496132887,0.0,0.0,0.10853953889894903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250880905107956
mentalhealth,MentalityOfMine,2019/02/18,Is it possible to drive yourself insane? I think I'm going insane but I don't know why. I'm upset about my crippling mental health and then when I get upset it gets worse. I get Paranoid about people following me and conspiring against me and then I get paranoid about being paranoid and it gets worse. I stress about my unhealthy levels of stress. Am I making myself crazy?,1.7950000000000017,4.589230722222227,2.7874444444444464,87.90200000000004,89.0,4.546666666666667,21.088888888888885,6.2581,0.5748122222222221,300,10,52,3,10,95,43,72,0.46,0.54,0.0,-0.9911,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,4,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,8,16,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,12,0,7,15,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,34,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5517106101621273,0.0,0.1200285641770739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22449336174551596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116068775378508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097615665751778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21283768577250456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641794684465634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380937614175629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838526818086834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532700822019855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057314474939488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4304571574133793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OffBrandToeNails,2019/02/18,"I think it's getting better Recently I've been taking more walks outside and just doing basic things, such as going outside and taking walks and recently I've actually been hanging out with friends and family and going out of my way to keep myself busy instead of staying cooped up in my room and self loathing. I've been taking my hobby of art and doing more drawings and such. 
Although I do just lay in bed at times and cry, I don't do it as often. Sure there's days when I'm at a low but i usually try to catch myself before I end up in a slump again. I've been making sure I'm eating, not laying in bed all day, and trying to get proper sleep. Just little steps to try and make an effort. 
I recently started talking to a girl who i haven't spoken to in a while and she's been super supportive and just some comfort to me. She really has helped me a lot.
I'm still not doing amazing but I'm getting better.
",3.121742707554226,4.164593638743458,4.928620044876592,84.02624345549741,73.34554973821992,7.132535527299925,24.637621540762897,7.447530270364453,1.1601171278982805,719,21,145,8,14,246,103,191,0.054000000000000006,0.82,0.127,0.9299,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,12,10,0,0,6,0,13,2,1,2,3,34,31,20,0,0,8,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,4,16,1,1,1,1,0,7,4,1,0,0,5,0,16,9,24,26,5,36,0,1,0,0,8,14,0,3,13,99,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.1369190449235781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939061984606528,0.0,0.0,0.24817964917855614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412025997980255,0.18097235601195616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435687242533929,0.0,0.0,0.12427004123528565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226861685283844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840056499495022,0.0,0.2199132914096712,0.0,0.15947899813877975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404458583737337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471099175718985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062411701834526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928369119053632,0.0,0.0,0.18731154854130064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988402880901318,0.0,0.4156076522548405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463704292804217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040797163294647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930976467330373,0.1495482139540343,0.11204906702228044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159218316735138,0.2644747027405695,0.0,0.3164794043999665,0.11277316560762507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932134997169128,0.08990283204686504,0.0,0.0,0.08181393234667521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857770036180729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452794583045928,0.0,0.0,0.11136888315360262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PoliticalMonkeyMan,2019/02/18,"Large parts of my memory are gone I cannot remember most of my childhood, especially my middle school years. I have heard something like ""lightbulb"" memory and would like more information on it if you are knowledgeable, thanks. ",7.291538461538463,9.664086871794877,6.726153846153848,69.99384615384618,64.8974358974359,11.353846153846154,30.948717948717945,11.20814326018867,4.1719333333333335,184,7,29,6,3,57,32,39,0.0,0.807,0.193,0.7845,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,8,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,6,3,3,5,3,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,4,20,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3748516090491629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4154418063139562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4345862706708468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882614249020097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29534273323177296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35320167879894226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725249279391144,0.0,0.0,0.24704984053808385
mentalhealth,sfiusabilsdbfu,2019/02/18,"I recently just burst into tears and i don't know why These last few weeks i've felt extremely uneasy at school. I've felt this repressed ball of stress inside of me and it felt like even the slightest thing would make lash out at everyone. 

This Monday i was sitting on my bed getting ready to go to school. Once again i felt this ball of stress growing inside me but this time i burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. I'm currently feeling a bit dizzy and am still tearing up but i'm calm enough to write this post. 

What is it that i'm feeling and has anyone else felt this way? If you did, How did you cope with it? Is this some sort of panic attack or could it be an underlying symptom to a mental illness? ",3.0293908045977034,4.7428384620689705,3.6893965517241414,90.13317528735635,74.72413793103449,6.488505747126437,23.117816091954023,7.1686216300943375,0.6935402298850577,567,16,119,6,12,179,95,145,0.215,0.7140000000000001,0.071,-0.9752,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,5,9,1,5,4,0,11,2,0,2,0,30,25,10,0,3,5,0,7,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,15,9,0,1,8,2,0,2,1,7,0,0,8,7,10,2,17,14,4,21,0,1,0,0,3,8,1,4,9,74,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951963582241405,0.13949753333319787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488558238455394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486360291480698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870139932835217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373240497175947,0.0,0.0,0.1406750783433076,0.0,0.08992306346315905,0.0,0.0,0.13009321369506952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376788857319143,0.0,0.653606931164621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113059813864381,0.0,0.07737483570534331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482220992149329,0.11097705562969892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651399534768755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087842576916924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720301564432572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449909087945246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597378448011055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303901097736598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442762238874026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275573778916145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872626807250756,0.0,0.3119092694077856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150768880405049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044926680364432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938775196246667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806625495852283,0.1092080051473125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285047201832246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671412020906524,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,12qbit,2019/02/18,"need help attracted to young girls im a father and husband, i have also realised im attracted to my oldest step daughter. she is 10 years old. i was molested numerous times as a young boy by older girls around this age and i have strange compulsions to seek the same sort of behaviour that was done to me at the age, from my step daughter. i want to kill myself. im scarred that if i go to therapy i will be blacklisted from my job and told to leave my family. i don't know what to do, someone please help me. i really am considering  suicide and trying to make it look like an accident to spare my family the shame and heart break. whta can be done i dont want these feekings i never want to ever have these urges again.",1.90010617760618,3.9265851689189226,3.7612355212355233,86.92527027027029,79.06756756756756,7.742084942084942,23.40926640926641,8.634040054169528,1.6280158301158298,567,19,119,13,14,191,92,148,0.138,0.736,0.126,-0.7063,1,0,0,0,0,2,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,1,6,0,16,1,1,1,2,17,25,8,2,5,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,5,1,19,3,18,17,1,18,0,0,1,0,11,2,0,2,13,77,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229872835084102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614086064112196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130026681426369,0.17923379210850346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383346898919825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28833914935129684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691411416567255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122376818245506,0.20501262148687344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4955746137355978,0.0,0.15176024973654806,0.0,0.16919530321957446,0.0,0.08404678389249874,0.0,0.0,0.16193166598161587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471427800220462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284233793809962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208251559431376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339627160126675,0.11794968287565932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047517884433682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787212549818725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979714047962472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957779476361286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728150477194773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488973051765475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917519597324887,0.0,0.0,0.14613196040029433,0.0,0.10382999395222668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706076949658832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848243956152726
mentalhealth,SirKatticus,2019/02/18,"When are panic attacks normal? Panic attack, anxiety attack, I'm honestly not sure what it is I have.

Well, people get them normally right? Once in a blue moon? I'm not diagnosed with anything so I figure mine are normal.

I've had them due to the following things:
- A bad haircut
- Smashing my eyebrow piercing into my face on a door
(Those 2 were within a month 5 months ago)
- Unknown, twice

What happens is I get anxious for a long time. Minutes or even hours before it happens. I cry, which only seems to happen when I go through these episodes. I get emotional, tearful and irritable. I start to have thoughts about hurting myself, breaking things, and screaming. When they peak, i start hyperventilating uncontrollably. I seem to lose a lot of control. I start to kick my legs and scratch myself. I shake and have moments where I tense up completely. My mind races and I keep backing myself into mental walls. I can't control any of it. Eventually they slow down and I can take some control over the situation, but usually I still feel shaky and panicky for a long time after.

Today I had a caffeine-induced one which lasted for 7 hours if you count the long time before when i was holding it off as I played video games with my sister. (Yeah, I'm never drinking that much coffee again...) The peak lasted for about 10 minutes and I almost had another full-blown one later on, but I managed to calm myself down before I could.

Yesterday I had one too. That one lasted for 2 hours at least. I hadn't had any coffee and I'm not sure what triggered it. For these past 2 ones it's possible they were triggered by the fact that I can't feel anything towards the things i cared about and the thought of it all made me feel trapped. I have no idea though.

This isn't a normal thing. Before that the only panic attacks I had were in September of last year, 5 months ago. They had clearer triggers.

So I guess, is that a normal thing? If not, what could have caused them? Are these even panic attacks or are they something else like anxiety attacks or something similar? Thanks for your help :)",2.7708237804878064,5.2885885275,3.5843780487804904,86.74106097560976,78.725,5.802439024390244,25.506097560975608,7.0180271515732855,1.2247445121951217,1641,63,305,19,41,521,202,400,0.173,0.752,0.075,-0.986,0,1,3,0,0,1,60.0,0,2,8,4,18,26,6,7,18,1,30,4,2,8,5,62,58,25,0,9,11,1,4,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,28,14,1,5,9,4,0,3,10,17,1,6,15,6,50,9,40,41,5,60,0,2,1,0,13,17,0,12,40,215,78,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111110420995738,0.0,0.06275760398208563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523909962850358,0.0657177360147875,0.0958888084393817,0.07080225324241332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314849858756683,0.0,0.0,0.4277951092805628,0.0,0.04819139780280138,0.052329043287882064,0.0,0.0,0.21331922974552064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389894160537099,0.06438207352819822,0.0,0.0,0.06571107908890994,0.0,0.21087811187221045,0.10007801950467393,0.0,0.06884296100786676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361141852720906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061395335367845236,0.0,0.0,0.052354955471619516,0.07049829355435447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278938592135313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506752187733657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823161567214893,0.0,0.03561831018154416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904098760968475,0.0,0.16626364708699706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04200815490871694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851598016725684,0.0,0.06709236596969173,0.07074979111344587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570632922574708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043462918877708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030618690122066593,0.0,0.0,0.16638996400704997,0.0,0.07011466213131871,0.0,0.05328204418147669,0.0,0.05930237495111927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315928847556015,0.0,0.06328150857214901,0.0,0.15007412923730054,0.0,0.04607160752792321,0.0,0.04833700982641192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30702944215506073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674432476488891,0.21234304151561445,0.09533074596741227,0.0,0.294131395665851,0.0,0.0,0.05982813412668753,0.043449322939197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065399394389446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352209900165894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410964993892413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044668229512707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964969327629784,0.0,0.0,0.133080068603582,0.0,0.05005045769448867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813645818351352,0.0,0.04712203163026723,0.0,0.0,0.05770055399346116,0.0,0.0,0.208184612693334,0.0,0.06157555850787609,0.09951016390630706,0.10963477524331697,0.0,0.059406342235994385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902506750784218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635023728412718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040359130544105344
mentalhealth,Grambuolys,2019/02/18,"Help me understand what's happening Hey, sorry if I'm rambling I don't have much time to write this post and my thoughts are scattered right now. 

First some information, I'm a 17 yo male, I always had bad social anxiety and some paranoia, I have a few friends but beyond that I pretty much can't talk to anyone from my class.

So 4 days ago my class organized a night at a homestead, I usually stay away from events like these, but my friend was going so I said fuck it and went too.

I knew that without any chemical help I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone there so I took 1mg of clonazepam and drank half a beer. And to my surprise it went absolutely fantastic I finally talked to a girl I like from class and overall it was a great night.

The day after I had to go to a skiing trip to Austria, and that's where it started going downhill. For some reason my anxiety and paranoia went through the roof. For the last 3 days I've been exausted from over thinking absolutely everything from why I said something to what I'm going to do when I come back to school. I've been feeling very lonely and I constantly cry when I see things that remind me of my conversations with the girl I like.

Please help me understand what is going on. This is really exhausting and I want it to end.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I would really appreciate any responses.

Thanks",4.383049199084667,5.319629757246378,5.338306636155608,82.66252860411902,70.26811594202898,8.998932112890925,28.294431731502677,9.276330184999452,2.2516985507246376,1087,38,222,22,19,357,150,276,0.113,0.706,0.182,0.9728,0,2,2,0,0,1,20.0,0,1,0,1,11,13,1,0,13,0,17,4,0,1,0,31,47,18,0,4,4,0,1,3,2,2,1,2,0,3,17,12,2,0,8,3,0,11,4,4,0,2,15,4,30,9,33,29,6,41,0,1,1,1,19,7,1,4,24,141,47,5,0.10255817236261436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091163179343127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533661516958715,0.0,0.0,0.13948614815232382,0.0,0.1569134422866757,0.0,0.0,0.1434221174244433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635677894326497,0.0788609040086729,0.08563179006506154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834478436920093,0.0,0.11082894986576101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126553365795628,0.19842461024392732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083609983497244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921726723303887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05185649347482537,0.0,0.0,0.11234746481938296,0.0,0.08723592901977315,0.0,0.0,0.15847237912161916,0.09481337774886442,0.0,0.0,0.29143086403841656,0.0,0.0,0.11307074709193655,0.0,0.0,0.09069185311669432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20622774330350804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359859873245354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503142278089659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078411436215292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19248779456237008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257807561300508,0.0,0.0,0.09822237942607354,0.10433853162129016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258592606057898,0.0,0.13140278273516404,0.10544688222825403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758411882933922,0.1951126150040062,0.0,0.0,0.103794345750472,0.08172558512166596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454514126849332,0.0,0.07895429162370386,0.0,0.1148054773987054,0.07259120226227468,0.1093133659395076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711098209465372,0.24729712233163964,0.0,0.1888435719729664,0.0,0.0,0.06813509259421148,0.06571513573246479,0.0,0.0814197329968961,0.11960499011123045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394590309941215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21353334867538207,0.0,0.0,0.11295333754796552,0.08462123295986025,0.06049146725009087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852173597995137,0.0925427986539934,0.0,0.0,0.09886241836064484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285438310868493,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Soft-Bee,2019/02/18,I'm really struggling but I can't get help I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (along with depression and PTSD) but several therapists I've had think I might have borderline personality disorder. I can't get to therapy because I don't have a car or people to drive me. I mean even then I'm scared that I'll be taken to a hospital type thing again because my therapist would be worried. I've been 3 times and all it does it make me worse. I don't want to call a hotline because of they might take me away again. I really don't want to be put in a hospital with no contact from the outside world for a year or maybe longer. I really don't know what to do or where to go from here but I do know that I need some form of help because my mental state is only getting worse,5.334259259259259,4.731933290123457,6.65345679012346,79.42055555555557,67.95061728395062,10.903703703703703,32.19753086419753,10.504223727775694,3.1032419753086424,611,23,132,15,9,209,93,162,0.25,0.75,0.0,-0.9901,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,2,6,0,20,2,0,1,1,25,36,9,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,4,0,0,4,7,3,0,0,4,0,17,0,18,26,3,14,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,6,5,85,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235694769361975,0.0,0.0,0.32069895484354444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429891537804206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327991534883787,0.13349230832901512,0.0,0.0,0.3014717705255721,0.0,0.11509600133921895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868692012193993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061448310786343,0.0,0.07474712174323536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763131744973999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456237052051152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779211862459013,0.0,0.13213177108786378,0.14326627991426952,0.0,0.0,0.13254348678632766,0.2790486315000984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097522076822323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002859257472342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118096324176908,0.11484014971496725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374246407986822,0.13221618110578695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527695504450022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167670968648704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485826985006231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749560513575687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888835874311744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040714737915215,0.3054149228681033,0.0873775342555137,0.08427414280870878,0.0,0.0,0.07669167768521003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155150453329248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356722221369782,0.26806480416576184,0.09342962801351287,0.0,0.0,0.08469601249624993
mentalhealth,T-Rex_Turds,2019/02/18,"Feel unlovable Just need to vent. I don’t feel like anyone is going to want to spend their life with me. I’m 27 and have never had a boyfriend before... I don’t count the one in high school who attempted to rape me as one. I just don’t feel like anyone is going to want to be with me, I’m not a typical female. I don’t like physical affection, I have really bad anxiety, sometimes have trouble with impulse control, and can’t work a full time job very well. Who is going to want that... and even if someone did, I don’t know where to even find them. I’m getting to the point that I just don’t want to go on anymore. I feel like I’ve achieved nothing... everyone I know has a SO and then there’s me. I feel worthless. ",0.6937254901960799,2.550492751633989,2.655973856209151,94.1878823529412,82.26797385620915,5.910065359477124,21.964705882352945,7.03164865440522,0.5059301960784315,553,18,128,7,15,185,82,153,0.13,0.731,0.138,-0.5829,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,4,9,10,1,0,6,0,17,2,0,2,1,28,37,8,0,6,5,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,8,0,1,4,9,5,1,2,2,5,16,5,16,34,1,13,0,1,0,1,4,6,0,1,7,79,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086205416082352,0.0,0.14081408560818925,0.19856282350598575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855416948608365,0.0,0.0,0.12082145271967785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925177712031516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18756366012985698,0.0,0.0,0.13567575646874913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589673596509803,0.3043090755759071,0.0,0.0,0.1297745913876797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418294495480555,0.0,0.3227805376712129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001826994604228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090132390265925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606594138810007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029042527569776,0.27747294046279336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528240973496593,0.10951001003180896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624145371838742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924296822668056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342246908113584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096124093337014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369958222815746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203060937384789,0.0,0.1404299051557582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279442867102689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715508909509365,0.33499314473656844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766439364868865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336905998530882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrafThrWay,2019/02/18,"I thought I figured it out.. but I didn't. Hello. I'm a 32 y/o male. I feel like I may be some sort of (mild) sociopath. I have a difficult time relating to other people. I try to date but most of the time I find the people I meet to not be very interesting. 


I have a hard time making friends outside of work and school (I went back to school at 28 and will be graduating with an engineering degree in April) and those I do meet are mostly superficial. I have a couple of close friends, but lately I've been distancing myself and removing friends in social media.


I probably have some systemic medical problems that I've been neglecting due to high healthcare costs and lack of insurance and I don't even know where to begin to address them. I only recently got medical insurance through my employer, but I'll be changing plans once I start full time in May, so anything I pay to this deductible will be wasted.


The only times I get excited are when I watch sports and my favorite team wins against the odds. I'd really like to get more out of life.


I've never been in a long term relationship. I would really like to start a family, but everyone I meet is much more experienced and holds me to standards that I've just never approached. The idea that normal people have sex on a semi-regular basis is so foreign to me. I feel like I'll never make that kind of connection with someone. I ask myself ""what do I have to offer that Joe 6-pack can't offer in a relationship"" and I draw blanks. I want to invest in myself but I feel like I've missed the boat.


The only thing keeping me going is the idea that tomorrow I'll still be 32 and these problems will still be here if I don't address them. I thought that applying myself and achieving a difficult goal was the way to self-realization, but I have so much more to work on. I feel overwhelmed and I don't know what the best use of my energy is.


Anyway, I don't want to detract from others who might have more serious problems to deal with, but I just wanted to post and get this off of my chest. I don't expect much here and I'll probably seek professional help. Can anyone relate though?",3.9949722430607655,5.147993227906976,5.3792123030757715,81.20201425356342,71.37209302325581,8.711177794448611,27.591897974493623,9.11188708381993,2.1986676669167298,1688,59,336,34,31,567,203,430,0.092,0.7759999999999999,0.132,0.9595,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,2,8,15,22,0,1,20,0,42,5,1,3,3,72,69,28,0,11,12,0,5,5,3,7,3,0,2,1,18,20,0,3,12,2,3,4,11,9,0,0,9,7,49,13,46,46,15,46,0,3,1,1,20,16,0,9,28,231,67,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611018068607083,0.0,0.07191062475644566,0.0,0.0816934236419116,0.0,0.0,0.06719387235566733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917054410192947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924420201146168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966901300900033,0.0,0.0,0.09009036784420328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057717141270387774,0.0,0.0,0.08350036246522348,0.0,0.0,0.08237904773807099,0.0,0.17673845600231536,0.18728414547589506,0.0,0.0,0.07986854616980509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254090949983128,0.0,0.1369655777940862,0.0,0.04966305807639637,0.0,0.06988997665888719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828003036021187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857249898381954,0.09232732687792737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19729464800834892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767203580013282,0.0,0.09099830296071287,0.09604930912903588,0.0,0.09857438154708646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172279470017965,0.213460124582678,0.0,0.0,0.07733320684121403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666068162142933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17606291574001864,0.0,0.09270195339382754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19271466630534545,0.0,0.20219070309733306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561900291839905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306245187302804,0.0,0.19938128799407293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817458131094213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369092528916063,0.0,0.18843218414927526,0.2508476817222414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946355899950804,0.11196247267613196,0.0,0.08628240379323808,0.187638136308753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768771004408015,0.0,0.0,0.09116188607724936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907826972193705,0.07404124874919707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370347614628616,0.0,0.13957196591092458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805488501898885,0.0,0.08585557604155318,0.13874827368512738,0.2547752444529109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932885664452789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547280915078784,0.0,0.0721019927118602,0.15462627445518318,0.06936235336953551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100701316620831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723502269104084,0.0,0.0,0.06207598277870975,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,greyzhaveit,2019/02/18,"My bff lost his mind Tonight my best friend lost his mind at a bar. He called it quits with his fiancé after 5 years, so I met him at the bar he was at to be there for him/ talk it out/ all the things. What I wasn’t prepared for was the part where he flipped a switch, passed out into an unresponsive state and when I solicited help to bring him to consciousness he, begrudgingly, wanted to fight everyone, but mostly threaten his own life. This caused a scene. 
After we got kicked out, I literally dragged him down the street toward my car, all the while he yelled about wanting to kill himself. I’m a gal, he’s a guy. This argument almost turned physical, it seemed like he didn’t know who I was, his old high school BFF who just wanted to play Connor Oberst songs and talk about recipes and memories til our mouths fell off. He was a hollow person. 
I had to hard handle him into my car, and when I got him to a safe place he fought me on it. I had to take him back to his ex fiancés house with tears in my eyes because I didn’t know what else to do. I went home and sobbed. 
I don’t know how much of this I need advice on, or how much I just need to share. How do you help someone who can’t help themselves in a moment like that? ",4.140043774319068,4.2521957159533095,4.540522859922182,91.11833292801558,70.43968871595331,7.825778210116732,24.23370622568093,7.413659706084162,0.6979651750972766,957,21,224,9,16,302,146,257,0.111,0.743,0.147,0.8979,0,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,2,1,0,4,13,13,3,0,14,0,14,5,2,4,2,38,34,15,1,5,4,1,1,2,1,0,1,2,1,2,14,13,2,1,5,4,0,6,5,6,0,0,16,4,36,7,37,17,8,37,0,3,1,0,43,19,1,4,13,142,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084329351116333,0.0,0.0,0.13407921607795031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295907474327276,0.0,0.08162280182938017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051738685773174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672453358821146,0.0,0.0,0.13754983301462395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185435615793336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794500091677188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034490393676735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21418046254394915,0.0,0.0,0.13257978525391445,0.0,0.0,0.11994604886144712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692464397134885,0.14147028316145768,0.13431032148076386,0.0,0.0,0.15449998103827806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813797862044115,0.0,0.22076004070679306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457591310204468,0.13083131631578065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29233033737483205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703970363178884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968604480999069,0.19856691218320732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050312367065496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499817277170055,0.0,0.0,0.11691431656600307,0.13989460931548864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241669743899404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551163198530752,0.0,0.12189544724419085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345109601219265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067441489305627,0.2152438162864527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895568950459568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456422598677393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369290173460625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412451955681145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622573587235717
mentalhealth,alpelir,2019/02/18,"My sister have imaginary boyfriend So my sister have been telling her friends that she have this amazing boyfriend and they gonna get married later in March. Just yesterday, her friends called me worried sick about my sister knowing that she (my sister) sent a text to her friends saying his boyfriend got into an accident and was in a coma. But thats not all, she also mentioned about their wedding this March was to put on hold. 

I understand if she do this when shes 16 or 19, but now she's 26 with a job and doing her PhD. This whole imaginary stuff is not the first time. Before this she claim that she got accepted into overseas university. We got everything prepared for her before flight and just before boarding, she mentioned about her missing passport (which of course is bullshit). I came to realise about the first lies after a while. 

Now what do i do? How do i tell her to stop with al this nonsense? I love her dearly and want the best for her. I want to know the right approach to confront her.


",4.079458762886599,6.036124716494848,3.979987113402064,88.12400128865983,72.45360824742268,6.499484536082474,28.619845360824733,7.1686216300943375,1.5107020618556697,801,32,153,8,16,244,111,194,0.099,0.75,0.151,0.9026,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,2,3,12,10,1,0,9,0,14,3,0,1,1,29,28,14,0,3,8,4,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,13,11,0,2,4,0,0,4,2,2,0,2,8,1,34,8,21,19,3,23,0,1,0,1,39,6,0,2,13,115,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451241992340605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39746509859380375,0.0,0.1633964761001449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898606915718064,0.17807815711278627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993220579728272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26487494967610786,0.0,0.0,0.3608779425795222,0.0,0.08134629203322584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735800986458647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450721522361685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113617762588287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052441045440026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156520481597425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329660801920798,0.0,0.12381808005493475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017132097370082,0.0,0.0,0.1782380841221402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721755465481453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078932869948224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620881316336491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836705876092636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383235344944215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581198743729502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rabidjellyfish,2019/02/18,"Passive aggression fuels my cleaning. I live in a house with 6 roommates. My rent is VERY cheap and for the most part I get along with everyone which is such a rarity that I am afraid to move. It is a large house so it's not terribly crowded, but it is very messy. The majority don't care/don't have time/don't think cleaning is their responsibility. And on a number of levels I'm okay with that because I know I can't assign MY standard for cleanliness on other people.

But sometimes one will annoy me for some reason and I scrub down the whole house in a passive aggressive fueled rage. Which is honestly a net positive. When the house is gross it is embarrassing to me when other people come over and see the place. I feel inadequate and ashamed. I am the only woman and I feel on some level like society has made it MY role to keep the house clean because I feel like I am the only one who cares, which, honestly is not wrong. So when the house is disgustingly filthy I feel like I have failed. 

Organizing chore charts doesnt help, because, as I've mentioned, nobody cares. It comes off as naggy when I ask people to help and it causes tension so it's easier just to clean it myself to my own standard. 

When I do clean the house though I am fueled by rage because I have this inner monologue of how I'm the only one cleaning blah blah. But when I'm complacent and dont clean I feel like I'm inadequate and feel bad about myself for living in such a gross house. I really want a way to find motivation to clean that isn't rage so I can keep on top of it WITHOUT hating myself and everyone else and draining all my emotions. 

Help?",4.591710088691793,5.393486192073173,5.658082039911308,81.0516629711752,69.70121951219512,8.646563192904656,27.104212860310426,8.841846274778883,1.9152695121951206,1293,40,259,22,22,429,152,328,0.201,0.591,0.208,-0.0718,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,3,16,27,8,4,19,1,26,0,0,5,1,47,50,28,0,1,7,0,6,6,0,1,0,0,10,1,20,17,0,2,11,0,2,3,8,18,0,3,1,7,32,9,34,48,8,25,0,1,1,0,10,15,0,3,10,172,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102709346597265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343659845105427,0.18525650855533568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232387097797714,0.07804804921400779,0.0,0.13089280527747774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904304223216992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346801085020136,0.08546252059471078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519621739092642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23049380734487734,0.162831326101832,0.0,0.0,0.06944048175358558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039694206550593414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501034830564741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277488105144096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7013267473676554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506151904345176,0.0,0.0,0.041754298894079854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484717035383365,0.0,0.13417600218519468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189011513686841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075022488845568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444945382696418,0.17334900101378167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822743603274583,0.0,0.15801610802058932,0.0,0.07937851405075004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048672026810302436,0.07811575024587285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060542855902014525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514198397662575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048682208727034174,0.07464581299479038,0.0,0.044302085269172335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537594208013633,0.044812480443811184,0.060306033658140135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482423931725812,0.0,0.0732379357091495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306758287116514,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,taw-phi,2019/02/18,"I can't imagine being okay I'm struggling with anxiety and depressive symptoms and suicidal thoughts and in the past I've had some level of success in just visualizing what it would be like not to struggle...but right now I can't even imagine ever being okay and I'm just done. I don't know what else there is for me to do and I'm tired of everything. I cant imagine ever being even marginally okay, let alone good. I cant imagine a world where I'm okay and I don't like existing in a world where I'm not. ",1.0543686868686883,3.1262318611111115,3.2076094276094302,89.5528787878788,82.24074074074073,6.149494949494951,24.63299663299664,7.348242739294969,1.1289148148148145,403,16,87,6,11,137,58,108,0.213,0.679,0.108,-0.8074,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,0,1,3,4,16,2,0,0,2,21,23,6,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,3,0,7,8,9,14,1,13,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,1,6,57,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22906891188569584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691970248612256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19049630195745346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263371501926383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18476197267880212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921658536790783,0.40012795633633935,0.0,0.0,0.1987763661868841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18550973165697773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155110154151058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261647587057875,0.0,0.21610827616348965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21113501068549012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888085195330132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312184312029735,0.0,0.2419277720199174,0.0,0.0,0.22988382017549394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558695274687713,0.0,0.2542062561872662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711521830703146,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unperfectlyhappy,2019/02/18,"Frustrated If it wasn’t for being hospitalized and getting everything taken from me (phone, clothes, underwear, purse) I would tell my dr I’m having suicidal thoughts. I don’t have a plan or anything the thoughts just keep creeping into my mind ever since I had my concussion 3 was ago. I’ve been off work since the fall and I’m not sure if that has anything to do with it or not. I don’t have family that I’m close with and very little friends. My friends only talk with me when they have nothing else to do. I’m very frustrated since the concussion. I can’t drive because of the dizziness and headaches. I can’t work. I just want my life back. I want things to go back to the way they were before the fall.  I just want to be able to tell my dr about my thoughts without being locked up in the hospital. 

I’m not going to do anything to harm myself",2.506206896551724,4.289373988505748,3.514459770114944,90.52651724137932,76.35632183908045,6.938850574712642,25.96781609195402,7.793537801064563,1.3338878160919538,670,25,144,10,15,215,92,174,0.101,0.84,0.06,-0.8745,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,3,8,6,2,0,8,0,21,3,0,0,2,31,37,9,1,6,11,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,5,9,0,1,3,0,0,5,9,3,0,0,9,0,21,3,20,24,0,17,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,4,5,93,26,2,0.13946127955864687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362400971663813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34429425061692165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144742310991157,0.0,0.08501430158615343,0.0,0.1186712770958124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650200379071912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615071166973188,0.0,0.0,0.1253388055520943,0.0,0.13147168263186074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154948772766978,0.0,0.07286276251735009,0.0,0.15851811811925529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395959313045475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850562611229736,0.0,0.13977683991049306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408161364123661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381685902803112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606658747029196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460914348120317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525480043555431,0.0,0.13144060552757528,0.0,0.0,0.11209369380986152,0.2437906106779561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265187724327532,0.0,0.0,0.3321500339804142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301403224052465,0.24677362800254765,0.11069787232541868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344356968071689,0.0,0.203058944989036,0.0,0.0,0.0990692916588755,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bethnintzel,2019/02/19,"Can we talk about our anger, women? Because, we don't nearly enough.

I wrote a piece yesterday and published it today. I hope you'll check it out and share your own thoughts with me. 

Cheers,

B

[https://medium.com/@bethnintzel/a-river-of-rage-runs-through-me-cc5c42d2742f](https://medium.com/@bethnintzel/a-river-of-rage-runs-through-me-cc5c42d2742f)",18.53384615384615,25.47999148717949,5.70397435897436,65.74519230769232,57.20512820512821,4.651282051282052,19.320512820512818,6.42735559955562,0.18385128205128254,304,5,32,2,6,62,35,39,0.09,0.7090000000000001,0.2,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,3,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,8,3,4,3,3,4,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,2,22,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842072643479529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4817364645312313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463067977428669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747350913195834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701316552995451,0.0,0.0,0.4419280789810104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BigTeyered,2019/02/19,"Is talking about my trauma a problem? (20F) Up until about 8 months ago I’ve been subjected to constant and what I would consider severe trauma and abuse. For some reason I constantly talk about it and how I feel about it everyday several times a day, I don’t get emotional about it, I’m almost desensitized to it? Is that a problem? If so what can I do about it? It seems impossible to stop.",2.043461538461539,4.382476358974362,4.2483974358974415,81.96951923076925,80.28205128205127,8.002564102564103,25.134615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.2198153846153854,308,12,60,8,8,106,51,78,0.26,0.72,0.02,-0.9605,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,0,14,11,7,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,6,0,12,9,1,10,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,9,44,15,0,0.0,0.23467172733311525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557049493569685,0.0,0.1983310278422003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280704943312024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773395563986278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22279370362430495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014637341118167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347950456287124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580916330747392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790382115481156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036412826062414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030870144087024,0.0,0.4475085971452963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558915552230966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183903409455442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154918622422369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069794863753496,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,complaining3gg,2019/02/19,"I think there’s something seriously wrong with me? (21F) For some background since I was about 10 I’ve been extremely sad (I only say 10 because I can’t remember anything before that age other than bits of trauma) by the time I was 12 I was self harming and near my 13th birthday I was hospitalized for trying to commit suicide. I was diagnosed with manic depression and generalized anxiety, but I can’t help but think the diagnoses was wrong? years 13-15 of my life are a blur, like i wasn’t myself, people always tell me terrible things I used to do that I don’t remember and it just disgusts me. I was just extremely impulsive and manipulative , i couldn’t keep a relationship or friendship for more than a few months, due to the way I acted. It was like I had no sympathy for anyone but myself, 16-20 I suddenly became extremely emotional, dependent, mainly sad. I can’t be away from my partner in any relationship for more than a certain amount of time without thinking they’ve died or are cheating on me & going to leave me soon? I become really manic and just cry and hyperventilate for up to 2 hours, and then suddenly I’m just numb? I feel ok out of nowhere. There’s more but I just think something more might be wrong with me possibly, opinions?",5.049749276759883,6.2355371475409855,6.305188042430087,75.42168273866926,68.91803278688525,9.839537126325943,31.15621986499518,10.056822442137396,3.207475699132112,1000,41,185,25,17,337,138,244,0.201,0.682,0.117,-0.9679,0,0,2,0,0,2,28.0,0,0,0,0,9,17,2,0,7,1,22,4,0,3,2,42,31,14,2,1,12,0,1,2,1,1,4,1,0,2,6,11,0,1,7,0,0,2,8,13,0,0,11,2,32,4,31,16,9,20,0,3,0,0,7,6,0,7,13,128,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278311366409924,0.1338398305618239,0.0,0.08400157770270421,0.0,0.09449667145764816,0.0,0.0,0.08637190359546844,0.0,0.1016509636631985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605627599302402,0.0,0.0,0.07529999992072083,0.13642421282097092,0.10511110471043313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485785611843693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356869643999096,0.0,0.0,0.10639233446767137,0.25075157008841803,0.12819996963583502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894956445396048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06245820568875959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702023898280008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827965406507373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164773783708105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979514244949247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130795671679628,0.0,0.0,0.08724971563672361,0.1206966422054382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104103778626727,0.0,0.0,0.09859687774925947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394671107202217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563703025756421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925644424098985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913360007780494,0.0,0.0,0.2652403235314916,0.2798606293920191,0.0,0.0,0.09823243769385337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886403922219433,0.0,0.0,0.1021815723067813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19019193376959084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511685094816356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796673396251552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206485519384167,0.316600617543538,0.0,0.0,0.14405742797468324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386570790307933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668637362740456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804879440056036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907417658031595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051672375167228,0.0,0.07954637379300919
mentalhealth,GreyphonDaFurri,2019/02/19,"My friend has depression and I'm worried about her My best friend that I've known for all of my was diagnosed with depression about a year and a half ago, and recently she's become very distant, she seems sad or scared about something all the time. All that cheers her up is the comics and animations we make together. I'm worried sick, but it might just be my frigging S.A.A.D again but idk.",7.402012987012987,6.639768649350652,6.6291883116883135,81.82092532467534,63.805194805194795,10.816883116883119,34.83441558441558,10.125756701596842,3.1123012987012992,314,12,65,6,4,96,55,77,0.187,0.7070000000000001,0.106,-0.5859,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,1,5,8,0,1,4,0,5,2,0,1,3,17,9,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,9,4,7,6,4,6,0,3,0,0,7,1,0,3,5,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810251868881373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246817326421512,0.0,0.0,0.2345296357791837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849679027214055,0.22682862098107745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3453219002595184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917537534478756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370781397899704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22066063377333311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237435762957707,0.0,0.0,0.20344880789923234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204667569367038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130313631607795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18439531942393775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45391182761383203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391450681765444
mentalhealth,esby12,2019/02/19,"Advice about meds I currently take a SSRI for depression and I have seen a vast improvement in my overall mental health since starting it a year ago. However I have a few concerns. 

1) I think I may need to up my dose but I’m afraid that doing so is just me trying to “throw pills at the problem” instead of dealing with my issues. 
2) When I started with my psychiatrist I really liked them but it’s like they’ve become more and more busy and I don’t feel like I’m get any kind of personalized care. Is this something I should bring up to them or should I just look for a different office?
3) I haven’t had a lot of success with CBT but I feel like I need something to go along with meds. What other types of therapies help severe clinical depression?
",2.2585994397759137,4.2426592156862775,3.8656069094304435,86.81308823529415,77.7581699346405,7.247245564892625,24.00046685340803,8.192908349453996,1.4314074696545287,592,20,122,11,14,197,99,153,0.09,0.727,0.183,0.9413,3,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,6,11,0,1,7,0,11,4,0,0,0,24,27,9,0,5,6,0,2,4,0,3,4,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,2,4,20,7,20,22,4,14,0,2,2,0,5,5,0,3,10,80,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150824752983088,0.13681807894759734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496031395280607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046261034681226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736564561057426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912355634436975,0.26587531170951434,0.0,0.0,0.1612583215193524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608356550689173,0.2205290827285576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063921577441892,0.0,0.08771817242126673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16406217593315406,0.0,0.0,0.10345461524144556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109672643958778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072721129801354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016218934308057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296114473880608,0.0,0.0,0.13121912619229428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34288637692681345,0.0,0.15554408191364472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288906422100388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134768641502818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14768791296834866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887775605570344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436661722796398,0.0,0.12767629136048786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376455969719829,0.0,0.0,0.21849324769767287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604869726599047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650766717836006,0.0,0.0,0.09889844073116814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479054408400902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939351849641187
mentalhealth,desert-dune,2019/02/19,"Looking for some advice Throwaway account and kinda rambly. I'm a high school student who has depression and anxiety that swing from being debilitating to bearable, among other disorders that don't really stop me from doing everyday things, but definitely get in the way. I've come some distance and a lot has happened in the last few years with my mental health, but right now I'm struggling and deciding on what to do next. I have a rambling list of things I've been thinking about doing about it, and would like some thoughts:



- to keep staying on meds and hope they eventually work. My doctor and I have been trying to find a good med and dose for awhile, and this is probably the one most people will point to. I am going to stay on my meds, but my grades are taking a massive hit while I try and find something that works and I take my academics very seriously. This option would be only sticking to my meds and nothing else.



- take a reduced courseload. My academic counselor suggested this, and though I have no desire to, considering I know I'm smart enough to do more courses than usual without the mental illness, my parents and teachers seem to be heavily considering officially recommending it, considering my last report card barely squeezed out honours and it more or less nearly drove me mad. I know it might be a good idea for while I try and stabilize, but I really don't want to if possible. My courses would drop from 8 a year to 6 or 7.



- try and find a therapy that works better for me. This probably seems like it should be the first step,  but I went to therapy for years before deciding to drop it to save money for a little bit while I recovered from my mental state dropping to an all time low. I've been attending sporadically when I can, but the strategies and things I'm being taught are either already things I've tried or am trying and are not working in this situation. I know there are other types of therapies out there I could try, including those that aren't just sitting and talking and learning, but it's expensive and I don't know if it would help me when I'm doing this poorly. I know that seems dumb to some, but going to sessions has never helped me when I'm at my absolute worst, because I can't really use the sessions to help myself at the time, and a lot of the things I already know from the people close to me who were or are therapists.



- look into a support animal. The responsibility of an animal being mine alongside a dog being able to break repeating actions or interrupt actions or emotions leading to an anxiety attack or breakdown might be something that would aid me a lot, but I'm not ready to bring it up with my parents unless it's an option that might actually improve my state enough for it to be worth the investment for them. While I know it would help to an extent, I still live with and off my family, and would never suggest it if the cons would outweigh the pros for them and us as a household.


TLDR I'm not sure if I'm improving at a rate and in a way that is efficient, and am wondering if I should just wait it out with what I'm doing now, reduce my school courses, look for therapies I haven't tried or look into a support animal. If anyone has any other suggestions I'm up for it. Sorry for the long post.",9.596329808747905,6.866770098283937,9.53721962211822,68.97028543363957,60.96567862714509,12.67882359738834,39.02935228520252,10.980518767755715,4.127447171664644,2607,98,488,51,27,862,275,641,0.079,0.805,0.115,0.9816,2,0,2,0,0,0,51.0,1,0,3,8,13,20,3,1,38,0,59,4,0,2,4,128,107,61,0,20,31,2,1,2,0,14,4,0,0,0,43,39,0,3,20,0,6,11,13,8,0,2,8,5,52,12,76,73,19,75,0,2,4,0,16,26,1,33,28,359,95,18,0.05670713646607235,0.0,0.05533798508810872,0.0,0.0,0.05541355745091199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515547040517475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03856279736749678,0.0,0.08676160836457461,0.0,0.0,0.03965094832367407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451255423818034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034568144053106285,0.0,0.04825359645467328,0.0,0.0,0.050152853947675984,0.06190950600137244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884817687250668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452760341664684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884177354444708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499129126602303,0.05804215706013997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047371536016582984,0.06378789595242942,0.0,0.11718726148506825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345844145431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155487886180779,0.048235061309187054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029627138302777824,0.0,0.0644559449402832,0.09512651123174982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05014593349875364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602770343181856,0.0,0.0,0.15203839295229366,0.059914203114242004,0.0,0.05632298170442631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401545465382187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05040390842657852,0.0,0.0,0.21815331427410872,0.09244776964106227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055408484978440316,0.056835448238286485,0.05007344042244314,0.0501840313029563,0.19047885029692727,0.0,0.0,0.1446311386711935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519553796199431,0.0,0.17144236769088406,0.18047193130810574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747207905341632,0.0,0.06030868296010481,0.0,0.0,0.05441202683912441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038426223261637485,0.0431283326038831,0.0,0.0,0.12593312841684326,0.0,0.0,0.07862717666242898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360657332677244,0.06392877596167493,0.054309761434156514,0.0,0.12227976847317305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898413106814828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048427584699496186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114781299106385,0.0,0.1548721418028418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374119732374513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731184822321487,0.0,0.06347899659212508,0.0,0.12088452469648404,0.04528639243339977,0.0474097052631224,0.0,0.05928261147368739,0.0,0.0,0.12870117290345742,0.053445805017879294,0.0,0.1279101279968321,0.04557904826327711,0.0,0.0,0.2593982104996052,0.06584135613927129,0.1883685085673817,0.03633564331364567,0.05571447366005817,0.04501913210545111,0.06613277460015653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080033864501103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821170300313048,0.04897675877740342,0.062454899293483614,0.04678932643627475,0.033447338318933414,0.09002297085366391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052568083628538334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466365595440993,0.06149647053296658,0.16513388290414546,0.0,0.0,0.3222649819061497,0.0,0.0,0.10955261000295066
mentalhealth,gelatinous-maximus,2019/02/19,"I need help with the line between being humble and hating myself for not being good enough for a while now I have been struggling to find the balance between humility and self-hate, some times I feel like the best person on the world until I remember I'm a jackass if I flaunt it in other peoples faces, and other times I get to a real low but try to bring my self up with my accomplishments but when I try that I think that they aren't that important and that everyone is like that even though I know that is not true",10.171226415094338,5.991925650943397,9.661981132075473,72.99033018867925,61.35849056603773,12.486792452830189,36.87735849056604,9.516144504307137,3.192309433962265,413,11,85,5,4,134,69,106,0.136,0.773,0.091,-0.3897,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,2,4,8,1,1,7,0,7,1,1,0,1,20,15,11,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,1,13,5,13,12,3,12,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,2,8,66,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179981204587901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21463894728486824,0.0,0.13720263678304234,0.0,0.0,0.1984933704338934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503371117638197,0.1484011971797314,0.0,0.0,0.1898599772845574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852950560981747,0.0,0.0,0.17423271071375432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205088770494908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923595532745475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416208585207985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20297118877442533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402796269287092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440127042217424,0.18138041018309947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364403755658586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353157619006969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334120113579178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171628069085209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310395909803055,0.20409208003293314,0.0,0.2422561794058773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820678706458622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ZUperduperdoo-m-mort,2019/02/19,just turned my 11 yr old off for a 72 hr psyche eval and i feel like the biggest failure ever i am questioning everything i have ever done in his upbringing and i know it’s for the best but i feel like a piece of shit and the hardest thing i have ever done ,2.5596428571428578,3.295281392857145,4.409285714285716,88.3857142857143,74.35714285714286,7.742857142857144,24.714285714285715,8.07648339933343,1.205978571428572,202,6,46,3,4,69,39,56,0.145,0.721,0.134,-0.1655,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,1,0,5,0,5,1,1,0,3,12,9,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,8,3,5,7,2,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,6,35,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196984882181564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4284726983619698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5681035072973232,0.0,0.0,0.18814906416863475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117059313064654,0.2991174291001727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505254091525358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455434767848352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967618777044656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345183952363865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21489337672376596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390819381116896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277112108981522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aye1captain,2019/02/19,"depression&derealization I came with A Question everyone! hello!!!!!!

so I haven't been diagnosed with anything and won't be for another 2 weeks, and yet I am fully aware of being mildly depressed and moderately derealized. know this DPDR thing? I'm not having DP part of it, cuz like ?? the body's mine it's just hardly existing

MY POINT BEING
before i get a proper mental health check in a while, does any of you know of any illnesses connecting periodic depression w/ ""not so much but more or less constant"" derealization?¿¿

THANK YOU VERY MUCH
stay healthy \\//_",3.393130236100532,6.53007183168317,4.964752475247527,73.30566641279512,83.15841584158416,7.86016755521706,24.600913937547602,8.617729084823388,2.5102530083777603,449,17,74,12,13,150,79,101,0.064,0.813,0.124,0.8468,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,8,4,1,1,0,15,14,9,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,2,1,8,2,8,8,5,9,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,2,6,50,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20186149551402724,0.0,0.2533877102119152,0.19535713917289835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533132211790784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853191611878556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069429640602322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21308339951762686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013296245087292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209286152966578,0.18909575246793664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630368464799385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802250477620205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733672408579096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16689277348330087,0.0,0.0,0.1980336068296168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477681878681814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101926009932028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775171904894689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739113666887859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017502655033933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611853645019585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20870434734192794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985764454598106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152470307737785,0.0,0.0,0.1237728285296868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537212170458147,0.0,0.0,0.14944271161988953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bambinablu,2019/02/19,"Officially diagnosed with ptsd today So, I’ve [21f] been needing therapy for many years. I did receive therapy when I was younger, but it was mandatory due to a traumatic event I experienced, (groomed by a 19yr old when I was 13) however I didn’t understand what was happening and why I was in therapy. Fast forward to now, I’ve finally referred myself to a therapist and received a diagnosis of ptsd and have been put on  Escitalopram. I really don’t know how to feel. I’ve been living with severe mental health issues for many years after I remembered what happened to me when I was 5 (my dad made me touch him, basically). And it’s fucked me up, hard, especially seeing as I still have to see him every day (can’t move out due to financial reasons, aka I don’t have a job because of my shitty mental health). So yeah. Fuck. I’m relieved to finally have a diagnosis, but I have no idea how to think or feel. This is probably a ramble and is shitty but idk, I feel weird. Hopeful for therapy, though. ",3.943333333333335,5.454267346938778,6.0621224489795935,74.87335374149663,71.95918367346937,10.124625850340136,30.923809523809524,10.355215969177356,3.50933850340136,784,35,149,24,15,275,113,196,0.18600000000000005,0.752,0.062,-0.9799,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,10,5,2,0,7,1,21,5,0,4,0,27,37,18,0,2,4,1,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,10,0,0,5,5,3,0,0,12,8,21,2,23,25,0,26,0,0,2,2,5,5,2,2,18,97,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743693841044783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134499435091236,0.0,0.0,0.11228365342748503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093207667756563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780837349380606,0.0,0.0,0.24237202934730756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045449873854246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19565344461042786,0.0,0.09909968940485953,0.0,0.0,0.23518176993448744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987715864811858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488394708649901,0.0,0.11546541132720008,0.10977981401158764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060797477073264085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768529986972464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467754800327347,0.0,0.2243159839731552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229711527304781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175785506247091,0.0,0.08202820980859635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608398982994632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927416760791053,0.0,0.2586331118237073,0.1112102715326333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087022204863844,0.11374255251374008,0.0,0.0,0.1253183535703123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631012811351746,0.0,0.0,0.12497655057881905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834653236432925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5060445570455882,0.12844598981082433,0.0,0.07088504770409082,0.1086900564581001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486106578754867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516617472183832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982328460774452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247978528290736
mentalhealth,Boxician,2019/02/19,"Hello, I'm seeking help. Im 15, male, and I've been suffering from depression and anxiety as perscribed by my therapist and phsychiatristfor the last 2-3 years. Today I had a therapy season, which is normal, excelt this time ny mother decided to come in as well. We discussed how I had been lying to my mom about having my schoolwork done when I didn't, and sone other things about my anxiety. On the car ride home, my mom went on a 30 minute lecture to me about my life and the such. After listening to her for 10 minutes hearing her make up things she thought about how I thought about my own life, I stopped paying attention. My mom has a habbit of having a question, then answeeing it to herself without thinking of other possibilities. Her lecture bassically can be summarized with her ""advice"" or orders she gave me. She said that I need to, ""change my entire perspective of life, be more positive, and think more positively, or I will be grounded for the forseeable future."" ",6.797549407114623,7.228023695652173,7.286897233201582,72.61225296442692,64.76086956521739,10.386561264822133,35.205533596837945,10.230975488527342,3.707017391304348,776,34,135,17,11,255,119,184,0.083,0.85,0.067,-0.2764,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,8,0,15,3,0,3,0,25,28,14,0,2,3,4,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,1,8,9,0,1,7,0,1,4,2,2,1,0,11,3,27,1,27,13,3,20,0,2,0,0,22,5,0,3,10,102,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214792044308094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22256254192390468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538839875905651,0.12530628025485754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528985431489886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886246232758166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395101804472642,0.0,0.09750295045044448,0.0,0.14591449343869775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712849500716872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857439594741015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082413093716764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709984085527527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5111048859579662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078613694221883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252602405567946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399132229461574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295547375347125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837170010385788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161628529159385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663533162522514,0.16889750965078426,0.19328260448564508,0.18641777834139991,0.0,0.23096788234940854,0.08482253093812643,0.0,0.1378849810486766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079161428832328,0.1348486564157904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022425874062933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936754854912316
mentalhealth,LifeNoob98,2019/02/19,What Is an Adult Psychiatric Day Program like? Also what is an Adult Psychiatric Inpatient hospital like? I've only been to these types of things when I was a minor and might need the support that these places give.,5.7251666666666665,7.557501850000005,5.245000000000001,81.20666666666669,68.0,9.333333333333334,28.333333333333336,9.725611199111238,2.7005833333333333,174,6,31,4,3,53,32,40,0.0,0.8079999999999999,0.192,0.7941,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,8,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,2,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,21,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28265332003728844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279455926632237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390608262206601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.345355001090931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749539085818411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620782168396744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26881416012835635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692793462090885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40109013742003946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23481604489672636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Butnotyet213,2019/02/19,"Mental Health - Why? I’ve decide to proceed with my TORTURE case against CAMH. They allowed me to be kicked and elbowed by another patient, then didn’t move either patient. This allowed me to be kicked in the head again after calling the police. After the second police call and numerous hits they tortured me in a cell with security. Five security held me down and they twisted my arm. I still don’t understand why.",4.439220779220778,6.937889805194807,5.097402597402599,78.10896103896107,73.02597402597402,6.997402597402598,31.779220779220786,7.957251820313856,2.6225116883116883,333,16,54,5,7,107,53,77,0.102,0.8390000000000001,0.059,-0.6633,3,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,0,2,4,2,0,4,0,4,4,3,2,0,11,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,2,0,10,2,12,2,1,10,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,6,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27464429049036826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5348959626974231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688038526305908,0.2784070224985868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639521539108334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783778198305356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091683809546932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726663023736112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4726812533371578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrispyK125,2019/02/19,"Inability to open up When i was a kid, I was bullied pretty hard so I kinda just checked out for most of my teen years. The only person i could really open up to was my mom but she died when I was 16. As i get older, i realize i cannot any longer live this way but I feel stuck. Would love to hear some opinions and advice. I don’t remember the last time I opened up to anyone honestly",0.529285714285713,2.2408312142857163,3.1145238095238104,91.43464285714286,82.09523809523809,6.5809523809523816,18.833333333333336,7.6454224807358475,0.3882190476190481,298,7,70,5,8,104,61,84,0.15,0.713,0.13699999999999998,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,8,1,0,0,0,17,13,7,1,2,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,3,14,2,11,6,2,14,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,4,6,46,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24574871306171295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17101875896556393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17584450395286827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20079070250640685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610022371739058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271586214953166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139079035051568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252816048384098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28344242788822555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20499424202138866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22206629764365068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269754759762433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945367698010468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19126604970797367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195874321379233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558511569288755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16110804639503554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848840392696813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664321329293514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199617478564498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864807867291393,0.0,0.0,0.1619484121409942
mentalhealth,ILOVEMOTHMAN,2019/02/19,"I was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Hi everyone! I was just diagnosed with bipolar depression and was prescribed 900 mg of Lithium a day, with instructions to come back in a month for another check in with my doctor. I was really just wondering if anyone has any experience taking it, any things I should know or watch out for, etc?

As a side note, is it normal to feel almost worse after being diagnosed professionally? I went to the doctor because I knew something was wrong, but now that I know it’s genuine bipolar disorder I feel kind of broken about it, like there’s something really wrong with me. Anyone else have an experience like that?",5.1370000000000005,7.408938700000004,6.101666666666668,72.69000000000003,70.33333333333334,9.8,30.33333333333333,10.125756701596842,3.584483333333333,524,22,86,15,10,173,76,120,0.16899999999999998,0.779,0.052000000000000005,-0.9297,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,10,8,0,0,0,23,19,5,0,3,6,0,2,2,0,1,8,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,6,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,7,3,10,3,18,10,1,11,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,4,7,61,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631764184252587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18515036134034984,0.14274743190200026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903748667311046,0.13948445514636773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467795595651178,0.0,0.08298547822275577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172666172603056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779459172620163,0.0,0.11725124521023468,0.4145167127649919,0.0,0.0,0.3120406682950446,0.2786760060543772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372174231984505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182439898619188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008101718296367,0.0,0.2663286002395417,0.0,0.0,0.13766597804711772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176168176495044,0.14963039036422784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330155190417596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866014687791996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338154064247362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442070791125927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20960383259757515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235515416586924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044078699485028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619675364885746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763054702473266,0.0,0.0,0.13873126577065245,0.0,0.2976803630006011,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nickgorman,2019/02/19,Motivation I have anxiety/depression and I find it’s really hard for me to stay motivated. I have more bad days than good. My ex broke up with me on the 4th and mentally I’ve gone downhill again. I’d love to hear from anybody how they stay motivated because I really need some advice. I’m 18 and a senior in high school. ,0.8213636363636354,3.2413765151515186,3.718409090909091,83.09761363636366,86.87878787878788,8.148484848484847,21.88636363636364,8.841846274778883,1.9925818181818191,254,9,53,8,8,90,52,66,0.115,0.669,0.21600000000000005,0.8028,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,3,2,4,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,4,0,11,7,4,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,8,2,9,6,2,10,0,1,0,1,4,4,0,1,3,29,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335963381084543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995962904580984,0.14572231485344342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416710744997406,0.0,0.20589292533351772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184868499267492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005033217769327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21414133680624028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694260832309304,0.0,0.0,0.2525688494295133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215751445319509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24090560223588134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772521247011518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062823744532609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419307872295921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5095897755363286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ToxicPetty,2019/02/19,"Dreams Crushed (F16) I filled in a form for the ACT and I listed Harvard and Yale as Colleges I want to go to... I made the mistake of telling my mom. She said it was a waste to write that (and I already knew deep down that I'd never get into these schools, but it's been my dream for almost 10 years now). I know I'll never get in but having your mom tell you that after a lifetime of being told I could do anything is devastating. I'm contemplating suicide because I've finally faced the reality of not being good enough. I'll never be good enough so why should I even try to continue??? So much has already happened to me, I got a year-long concussion from my father beating me, that caused me to miss school.

​

Should I end it all while I'm ahead?",2.9740384615384627,4.274223455128205,4.154358974358973,88.43230769230772,74.06410256410257,6.7384615384615385,26.461538461538463,7.1686216300943375,1.1266769230769236,593,21,127,6,12,194,103,156,0.194,0.7709999999999999,0.035,-0.9804,0,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,2,0,2,4,4,0,0,7,0,12,1,1,2,4,22,26,9,1,5,3,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,2,2,0,3,4,2,0,0,7,1,19,2,19,13,5,19,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,1,11,84,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390042320049711,0.0,0.3063739478566553,0.0,0.0,0.1504071428545214,0.16867670689690625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142337893645799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846209816426038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142602332113084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083332822741876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294982624072058,0.28686819540095826,0.0,0.09168669832779053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206620829410025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505132370373586,0.0,0.07889236583209419,0.2328646498435168,0.11102388415323984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275458328136513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628967614188494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284784468368698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135111226528412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32515938312792625,0.0,0.0,0.10204577637287583,0.0,0.32119050929295073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204586147851785,0.0,0.0,0.28097852721493793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184223872149946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242662709754926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264469402156634,0.0,0.0942469925150368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187730870168275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252599025608741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867670689690625,0.17878598256469946
mentalhealth,kuppyguppy,2019/02/19,"What is wrong with me? Hi, first-time Reddit user here. 

I discovered this forum, and was hoping to get some input or advice about my mental health. 

I apologize in advance for how long it is.

I've always been kind of weird. Not in an insane, biting-other-children-in-kindergarten type of way, but more so in a dark humor and twisted inside jokes kind of way. But I'm really only like that with my friends, who share a similar sense of humor, and otherwise am just a normal person. 

But lately, I've noticed that I've been surprising myself with how strange I act.

I've always had very low self-esteem, and have suffered from pretty bad depression and eating disorders up until pretty recently, but am doing pretty fine in those aspects now. 

But now I've just been acting straight-up fooking insane. 

I find myself panicking and worrying over every little thing. The tiniest problems set me off, and I immediately start crying, shaking, hitting myself for being so retarded, and get so incredibly angry at my own incompetence. 

I will admit that I have high expectations for myself, and get very angry at myself whenever I slip up or make an error, no matter how small. 

For example, I recently accidentally cracked my iPad, and when it happened, I just froze and just sat there for about a minute. I was pretty swamped, and focused on my homework, when I moved my arm and accidentally knocked it off of its stand and it hit my windowsill, and cracked. I started crying and got so incredibly angry at myself, I automatically started punching and slapping myself, calling myself a ""retard and a f\*cking idiot,"" and thought how I didn't deserve anything nice because I always end up ruining it. I then crawled under my desk and curled up into fetal position, and just cried while cursing myself.    

I also will sometimes see my reflection in my laptop screen or whatever, and just start saying the most hateful things to it, and it goes on for quite a while. I tell my reflection how I'm a f\*cking failure, an overweight pig, untalented, sub-par in every aspect, etc... I'll just sit there, talking out loud to my reflection like it's another person.

I also do this weird thing where whenever I get all panicky, I'll just go straight to the kitchen and throw away food. Sometimes I'll cut it up into little pieces, or just organize the food, or just open the packaging and stare at it, but I never eat it, and I tell myself I don't deserve the food. I force myself to watch the food, deny myself any of it because I'm too disgusting to eat, and throw it away. 

I honestly don't know why I'm acting so crazy and weird lately, and it scares me. 

I'm pretty young, and I'm still in school, so I don't think it has to do with anything like old age.

None of my friends, even my closest ones, know about this because I don't even know how to begin explaining it to them when I don't even understand it myself. I feel like I'm going insane and I don't now what to do.",8.009431333165956,6.810319267135327,8.386675244790357,71.12896089630935,62.83128295254834,10.799924679889534,35.787157921164955,9.784248007369934,3.4301945267386387,2329,88,416,38,28,774,263,569,0.206,0.665,0.129,-0.9955,0,0,0,0,0,0,87.0,0,0,1,2,42,33,4,2,18,0,27,11,1,7,2,90,63,63,0,4,22,0,2,4,2,2,2,2,2,2,31,39,9,0,13,1,0,10,11,16,0,1,10,8,62,17,59,48,8,78,0,4,4,0,16,37,0,8,30,293,93,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055590573416841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548137656586363,0.18023596298856026,0.0,0.0,0.049100494916197834,0.0757111085678124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883378291383714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567413244441678,0.0,0.060286463257454674,0.13204277935287018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372730420130356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23793471341542205,0.0,0.0,0.06218831146410893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275085793164386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22164498856364154,0.0,0.0,0.06395039962367759,0.0,0.08052539651135655,0.14306814033452867,0.0,0.12166823106814037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036507990620717266,0.051581815533897936,0.0,0.0,0.06599220566732505,0.06141580861015133,0.3492324672278129,0.0,0.11156766960001836,0.0,0.15089228509580624,0.0,0.08206922248660874,0.0,0.057747310235897416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384884709890991,0.0,0.0,0.07128548373454181,0.0,0.07674837976350035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762864010456471,0.0,0.0717138399086737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503765627984154,0.11904259059827745,0.0,0.1628961881127622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109889430849312,0.1447326868271206,0.0,0.06389735553629697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04819604252269615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276361050786845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767403294728231,0.0,0.0,0.05568738092236485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074357955145039,0.0,0.08220355884975718,0.0757648701973185,0.0,0.04892660047263548,0.054913611571807824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608969519560198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672818849252419,0.0,0.06908849018064893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679674525022515,0.0,0.0,0.046255070852027715,0.0,0.14258344266061532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741869902328627,0.07228776795370649,0.07307325943628082,0.057536418202724614,0.0,0.0753234436274925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282116528030228,0.0,0.20442253255124396,0.0,0.05766138437154111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580340115424942,0.1262171548921829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14390533304640604,0.04626474715504405,0.0,0.05732109229551021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516583718137196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915002238675812,0.0,0.11462271216006124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515194913661285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332561991101896,0.0,0.0,0.07894261207135769,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,picatso69,2019/02/19,"People who struggle with body dysmorphia, how do you distract yourselves from constantly obsessing over your flaws? I say _flaws_ knowing that in our head, they are exaggerated. I want to know how you're coping with dysmorphia. I.e, how you're taking the step to ""ignore"" your reflection. How you're exerting the effort to let go of your perceived flaws. How you manage to distract yourself when you're consumed by obsessive remarks over every inch of your being. How you deal with it in public. What do you do with all those compiling insecurities? Or just really. Where do you go from there. 

I find myself desperately in need of a distraction because I'm not sure how long I could live with myself like this. I can't stand social interactions knowing I'm constantly overthinking their reactions. I just want to breathe and stop being so preoccupied with my appearance & flaws. It makes me beyond anxious to ever feel comfortable around anyone, let alone enjoy anyone's company. ",5.862758620689652,8.479612632183906,6.091471264367819,72.0506551724138,69.22988505747125,9.467586206896552,30.565517241379307,9.888512548439397,3.548140689655172,794,33,123,21,15,253,111,174,0.159,0.777,0.064,-0.9235,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,9,2,1,16,12,0,7,3,0,11,3,3,8,3,37,25,11,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,2,7,0,0,4,2,8,0,0,0,2,22,4,25,20,1,20,0,0,0,0,18,9,0,2,7,86,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235391599899744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030866237799556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879995793375764,0.0,0.2327199958183788,0.0,0.0,0.14814305405285172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144395884076286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18484758048196054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35966715890807915,0.0,0.13286742092372955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156473028509844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505302915344017,0.1402103214412145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414352793929958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209867502796767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891529442691327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078798154558733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743690731170666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403375997469427,0.0,0.0813010970584178,0.0,0.14694592863955785,0.14727046954385706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108212151974298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339329951425428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536997851049065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660857473660124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233847777868193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963732843822246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391289096104282,0.0,0.1739712374801121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568424974194698,0.0,0.1251220366347799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19630966629543734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pimdrah,2019/02/19,"I feel depressed and anxious to the point of Psychosis [M 18] I have had a very Catholic upbringing, and I have not been very expressive with my feelings. My father has been mentally and physically abusive to me since I was very young. I always have hid my feelings of how I’ve felt depressed and anxious from everyone close to me, to the point where I feel psychotic and like im living a “false” life. My girlfriend of 6 months noticed these feelings I’ve been having, and told me that the best course of action was to tell my parents. 

Every time I’m not in a safe space (with my gf or at my apartment) I feel these growing feelings to go back to one of those safe spaces. When I am in my safe space, I feel like such a failure, because I don’t do anything, and I just lay on the couch binge watching a show or watching YouTube on my phone till 2-3 am. I frequently forget to shower, eat, and brush my teeth, I just dont think about it, but when I do, I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. My clean clothes have been in a basket for a week now, and I cant bring myself to even fold them.. 

I just mustered up the courage to tell my parents about how I’ve been feeling depressed/anxious, and about my psychotic episodes, but they just said that it was because I vaped and totally wrote it off as nothing because they think im just a lazy person who can do better. But I know that I can do better, I just cant physically push myself to get better. I saw a psychiatrist in high school, and I actively avoided going almost every time I had a scheduled appointment. 

I have recently had episodes of slight psychosis (not feeling like my thoughts are mine/talking to those thoughts) When I get these thoughts, I bash my head on anything that is close to me, and I have many bumps on my head because of this... I have also had major anger episodes where I lash back at my dad physically for a rude comment he made in my direction or if he told me that I dont matter/not doing my best. I dont know what to do, and I dont know if what im feeling is normal at all.. it surely doesn’t seem normal.  I just need someone to tell me what this is, because I feel like such a waste of a life...",7.688258426966293,5.331782741573036,7.724803370786518,79.30922752808989,64.28089887640449,10.517977528089887,37.3061797752809,8.548686976883017,2.9279415730337077,1700,67,361,18,20,552,186,445,0.1,0.7829999999999999,0.117,0.8821,3,1,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,3,5,25,20,3,1,18,0,43,6,3,3,3,76,79,30,0,5,18,4,14,4,2,0,2,1,3,1,20,19,1,4,23,1,0,6,11,6,0,1,22,19,66,14,48,57,5,46,0,2,3,0,23,25,0,7,19,246,86,1,0.0,0.08514662601381158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196102422105312,0.0,0.0,0.057469302540516076,0.059796279964173735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237084710680896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118275254857467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051735963417984,0.0,0.21903694663680934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15083284904156352,0.190672567962184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379204309108223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368944604106905,0.0,0.0,0.0735344132716111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047465236302147766,0.0,0.1210963808841758,0.06866875850901258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4723732027927831,0.15401813092257216,0.0690003348232471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509153978827829,0.0,0.08168349073424593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750559196424934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592784900548867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328750902991267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848308112949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151878527553057,0.14043571849045794,0.0,0.06345688377647543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679990848828714,0.0,0.07285842057696269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242161585824174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736084747107083,0.0,0.0,0.053285955851681735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082215841002224,0.06895507147188573,0.08181719570600071,0.0,0.0,0.04869664163099367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959206769371148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274853189253994,0.0,0.0,0.13586867866692245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095664467471746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835874921999231,0.0,0.0,0.07272980941251805,0.0,0.06542193106555502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05944632038297479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060889803109320385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773060146751261,0.0,0.0,0.05776124715786046,0.18843588661670524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920945984635812,0.0,0.1711550360609725,0.08380849720358045,0.0,0.0,0.13733751701802516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788501197026735,0.0,0.0,0.05764465278173093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slicedtomatooo,2019/02/19,"I feel like I'm going INSANE. Hi. I legit feel like I'm going out of my mind. I feel like everyone is against me. I feel like I am in an experiment thrown into the world while everyone else is just programmed to work a certain way. I am paranoid, I am scared to share my personal information online, I am even afraid to put profile picture on facebook where I literally only have like 150 friends. Speaking of which I don't really have any.. I've lost my two friends 6 years ago and I guess never found anyone. My parents are a mess. The best way I can describe you this feeling is, you know those movies in which a person is set up to look like they killed someone but they didn't and nobody trusts them. Or like one of those movies where things happen even if they are physicaly imposibble just to make main character suffer more and it seems like they can't escape from it? That's how I feel. My mind feels heavy, I can't concentrate in class, My eyes feel heavy as if I'm constantly having vignette effect on them. I can't sleep at night, right now it's 1am and I have a test tomorrow, my memory is worse and worse by day... I just feel like I shouldn't be. Just that. Like I don't belong in my body, like I was missplaced and was accidentally put in the wrong body. Please give me an opinion or something im going crazy.",2.3084901599015986,4.165358992619929,3.618178044280445,89.23373693111935,77.1549815498155,6.87829028290283,22.730781057810567,7.793537801064563,0.9482434194341948,1041,31,223,16,24,340,149,271,0.14400000000000002,0.71,0.146,-0.6664,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,6,4,10,24,1,2,9,0,26,4,4,3,2,40,50,14,1,3,9,1,9,11,2,1,0,1,0,2,11,8,0,0,14,0,0,5,8,7,0,2,5,12,38,17,23,43,3,32,0,2,2,0,18,15,0,7,20,135,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934298426407352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086815867002021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258571417893044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393258260545996,0.0,0.0,0.19884527409049035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672579241766767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772492260748821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477201778754466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182376984369122,0.0,0.0,0.17105647402535712,0.0,0.08755549479023328,0.0,0.0,0.4073190611736823,0.31972082336070884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814033658570304,0.13830652068270785,0.0,0.0,0.08586373495597911,0.15260749809444846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860258512528744,0.0,0.0791511727681635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668344261113797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902676974671336,0.0,0.04919097255124847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4810171919728744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516374378048006,0.0,0.0977079925039628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974694081078884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18075408686554334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690336898576182,0.0,0.0,0.08399671061724277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060652587837167024,0.0680744751758907,0.0,0.0,0.0993874688244125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630896566153596,0.0,0.09825233917413563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17995948771974107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05734078641609482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643890253613415,0.0,0.0,0.08961260649648319,0.0,0.0,0.08148425204552846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957212553999976,0.0,0.07583940098910888,0.06890723435824678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946479535003048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743580622012223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209374962216625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516251460324575,0.0,0.18243154669081485,0.0,0.0978623829675512,0.0,0.05763988527446135
mentalhealth,KhFouda,2019/02/19,"I feel like there is something wrong with my feelings. Well let me start by saying that I'm not a native English speaker please don't mind some mistakes here and there or lack of expressing what I mean.

I'm 24 male . my problem is that I've NEVER EVER felt any sad emotions about someone dying or getting really sick even if that person is one of my friends or family. 
My parents dyed last year one month apart.  
I DIDN'T FEEL A THING!! even though I loved them more than any thing in the world.  I would've easily give my life for them without even thinking. 

my best friend was killed in 2013 .. my gf got into car accident broke her leg few weeks back
and many different events were normal people should feel bad or at least show any type of emotions like feeling  sad, loss ,pain , sympathy, shock.  
I have never felt any of that when someone had a bad luck in life .

recently my sister pointed out this disconnection with my feelings and I have been feeling pretty guilty about it  , for the first  time in a very long time I feel something hurtful like this guilt..but I don't know how to train my self to feel these emotions. 

I promise I'm not a psychopath ""even though that what a psychopath would say"" I'm a normal guy with pretty average life with the ups and downs. 

please tell me if you have any sort of advice on what I should do or how to stop feeling guilty. 
Thank you for your time and help.",5.0596014492753625,5.7676909746376825,4.840724637681159,87.66731884057972,68.60144927536231,7.5826086956521745,27.28985507246377,7.3871296695380915,1.274820289855073,1103,33,225,10,18,338,158,276,0.17,0.652,0.179,-0.5052,2,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,2,3,17,24,1,0,10,0,18,7,1,2,3,54,43,17,2,10,10,2,12,3,3,3,5,3,0,4,14,11,0,1,15,1,0,1,8,13,1,3,8,15,29,11,30,31,6,32,0,5,0,1,22,13,0,10,21,141,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816748913955091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28419148957251145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426902764505428,0.13957415153094538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771364586452267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674441916532198,0.08732489618724609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820538716835422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208192156728524,0.07560426755416118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879321597105099,0.0,0.4226132650397464,0.05971065267856211,0.16050272793168613,0.0,0.0,0.07109439594044216,0.0,0.0,0.12914974590736064,0.0,0.043667893103283915,0.08017900745013919,0.0,0.0,0.06684777472306773,0.0,0.0,0.08275884282085512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602292924130768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947574297227713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247056528993974,0.0,0.045934216077232234,0.06813009209776458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546776428758991,0.1771082924608948,0.12250112250091598,0.0,0.0,0.07396701267715358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754355826276425,0.0,0.0,0.08473853993137982,0.0,0.0910447751301859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439350608767288,0.0,0.06671396971597313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892643759888375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378428188743793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132739984944668,0.0,0.0889366273707265,0.0,0.09280738378558198,0.0,0.0,0.057944900219844164,0.07298015704025188,0.0,0.18349481393222475,0.07901154980760898,0.0,0.0,0.17006490243823705,0.0,0.07997622415116326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354446022654362,0.0,0.08252666501072173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293475458928866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719375102333822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163669679725302,0.1286902709231292,0.0,0.0,0.05915942815553792,0.0,0.0,0.0698778910177132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305393014802526,0.07695063162341256,0.0,0.0,0.11105569241392724,0.05355566142918918,0.16423683281385545,0.0,0.1462111646938462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896350515913086,0.0,0.0,0.06704405164006184,0.0,0.07514982181339458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056960008952514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874782367598785,0.0913832683503278,0.0,0.05382375683069895
mentalhealth,xcup1dx,2019/02/19,"Is This Normal? (Hey. I have anxiety and likely depression and gender dysphoria. Been to counselling and will see a psychotherapist soon, but this is unrelated to that! I think.)

My personality often changes - or rather, my traits switch? The personas are mostly heavily based off fictive characters I like and identity with (I don’t think I am them) and can be triggered by getting back into a show featuring said characters or music I associate with them.

I look at analysis’s and mood-boards of the characters and do go for their vibe consciously but the switches between characters/personalities (the desire to do this, and the random “oh, I really vibe with X now” is accidental.
I embody their traits and aesthetic (colour themes/fashion), and communicate with people online who identify AS (they think they ARE the characters, unlike me. I know nobody in between these people vs regular fans and feel alone) fictives from the same franchise to satisfy my need to be fully like whoever I like at the time.

I’m 17, been doing it since I was 2. I do not have amnesia, understand I’m not actually these characters and only change my personality traits. My traits don’t speak to each other or anything like people with DID, it’s just pretty odd? These characters are pretty different from one another and sometimes people in my immediate family notice this.
I change my name to be similar to the character and start new social media’s up for myself. One time I had intimate reactions with somebody but switched and he thought I had a whole different name so I kinda just ran away, oof???",4.9850349650349655,7.6192711398601425,6.111188811188811,70.8406293706294,71.86713286713287,10.134265734265734,30.58041958041958,10.302915286807345,3.9567174825174822,1270,56,203,41,26,422,164,286,0.029,0.8640000000000001,0.108,0.9783,2,1,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,6,0,8,6,0,0,12,0,26,0,0,1,0,54,43,23,0,4,12,0,1,5,0,1,0,2,0,2,12,23,0,0,8,1,1,2,4,1,0,2,9,6,32,5,31,30,4,17,0,1,3,0,16,8,0,7,12,150,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.118540870292402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581018432810884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737583243359932,0.0929270965244745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996255705545663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412859940054453,0.09340582593851553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38550940454181337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046251744324406,0.0,0.0,0.25382845679298305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451465325995495,0.0,0.06142078466103568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346502773985753,0.0,0.06903633911295208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675880355974681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967297246398657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200736731985706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007125638405672,0.0,0.11732011765753092,0.0,0.0,0.11901849682504145,0.0,0.13829868477112345,0.0,0.0,0.16462753171197286,0.0923862708948373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368584503161323,0.3181986142585682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24716497599943074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781920335739158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554936621997447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679886218091206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048435237245933,0.0,0.0,0.123827204250264,0.0,0.0,0.12014065809392505,0.0,0.08597975496745394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23350644810300936,0.0,0.09643659940078927,0.1416646566273044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645847171779542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562111877511812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jvillicana11,2019/02/19,"Mental Illness Project at school, can anyone help? For a Literacy Enrichment class, we have to do a project on a problem in the world. I chose mental illness and was wondering if anyone could answer the following questions, it would help a ton. Thank You!


1) How often does anyone ask how you’re currently feeling?

2) Do you feel like schools are doing enough to help kids dealing with mental illnesses? Should they try harder?

3) How do you feel about people self diagnosing?

4) Do people know what you’re dealing with? If so, do they go out of their way to try and help?

5) What are some things that help you cope/deal with it?

That’s all, I apologize if any of the questions are personal, you may skip them if they are. I thank anyone who takes the time to answer.

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mentalhealth,byers98,2019/02/19,"My depression/anxiety possibly OCD? I’m sorry if this gets asked a lot. But I’d like some advice from people with experience.

I’ve been in counseling for feelings of anxiety and depression for about 2 and a half years. I’m thinking of leaving my therapist soon; she’s been helpful but sometimes I don’t feel like she truly understands what I’m trying to express.

Basically the past few months I’ve really been considering that I might have OCD, especially as I’ve been experiencing intrusive sexual thoughts - I always had these to an extent but they’ve gotten quite intense lately and it’s very upsetting. I won’t go into detail but they lead to a cycle of guilt and panic attacks, sometimes I end up hitting myself to try and stop myself having them (which I know isn’t helpful)

Some other things I’ve experienced: when I was a kid I had really bad habits and various ticks which would come and go in phases, but consistently I have this thing where my left side is my “good” side and if I do something with my right side e.g touch something with my right hand, I have to do it with my left to “balance out”

These ticks aren’t as intense as when I was a kid but I still get them. Even now I’m “clicking” my left wrist and tensing my inner elbow over and over.

Another thing is that I’ve always had a slight revulsion to jewelry; I can’t really wear it or touch it except for rare occasions, and sometimes I can’t look at people when they’re wearing it. I just feel like it’s dirty or disgusting for some reason. When I was googling this I saw someone say it could be an OCD thing.

Does anyone think this might be signs of OCD? Tbh I don’t think I’ll bring it up with my own therapist because as I said I won’t be staying with her much longer, but I’m trying to seek out an OCD specialist in my area to speak to.",5.788749189048914,5.576995891008174,6.691109381082133,78.2176475930972,66.9291553133515,10.151239133255483,30.827689113792648,9.842372674337009,2.7238037887634623,1440,49,290,29,21,481,180,367,0.111,0.8170000000000001,0.073,-0.9409,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,3,2,11,11,2,3,10,0,33,5,5,2,0,55,59,30,0,4,13,0,6,3,0,5,0,3,0,2,24,21,0,1,10,0,0,5,8,7,0,1,14,14,40,4,42,35,9,41,0,1,3,0,15,22,0,10,16,190,64,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637632300679357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641296992852945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341810764963746,0.15089745500891946,0.0,0.0,0.06896169058543629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922021277848864,0.11220147291138824,0.0,0.0,0.08234870767202011,0.06012157981300498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495768705570095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874494787958004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494655026460181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630840015115658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735348666299311,0.0,0.0,0.06514163561215279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647529024781087,0.0,0.0,0.14960502000985507,0.14091706890991929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305617549874403,0.0,0.11210301693364026,0.08272292733688777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221404600836453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420234750341647,0.0,0.11125458229734117,0.10443084226243746,0.3214727705757455,0.0,0.0,0.14455125129792618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282111836278258,0.0,0.0,0.08384841771957552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092534985482282,0.0,0.0,0.07872244437126492,0.0,0.07250156131127969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571652564714208,0.0,0.0,0.0941498108546904,0.13674989521911232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118615452489636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490104051661027,0.0,0.0,0.1895472931465027,0.10140409855899214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684523701468542,0.09381604474156548,0.07843146546155412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356560876246176,0.15185444273515414,0.2926313243526664,0.1104038896100345,0.0,0.10512234311063276,0.07876296317629608,0.08245586961535828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290251013790238,0.2620913012788231,0.1895869453837737,0.0,0.07829813888278092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20088202615847545,0.0,0.0,0.10267329046220114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137689484901506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006118046445327,0.0,0.0,0.06351200087472389
mentalhealth,lmaobanana,2019/02/19,"I hate myself I feel so messed up just recently. I’m so irritated at everything! Just talking to my mother, boyfriend or anyone who speaks to me I have this rage inside and it makes me want to explode! I can’t deal with feeling like this anymore, I just wish I could be normal",0.4053571428571416,2.8618616785714286,2.3114285714285714,90.95857142857143,92.92857142857142,4.942857142857143,21.285714285714285,6.6274283507984215,0.6155785714285718,218,8,44,3,8,72,43,56,0.244,0.63,0.126,-0.8889,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,13,11,4,0,4,4,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,10,1,6,9,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,2,31,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934201236848957,0.20687677649827432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362253715730753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30502542970030444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659057846219288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29919804290233754,0.2113671280546149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29210697244753325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454545537500846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749322481535705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898864082879498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29213253228270664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378063319846551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450976146607822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402319400831469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asasasay,2019/02/19,"I think i'm depressed and i feel guilty for it f(20) I've always had anxiety, social anxiety in particular. In my three years of uni i wouldnt go to classes and I'd stay home all the time. But to my friends and family, I'd act as if I was fine and that I was just lazy. I missed out on a lot and beat myself up for it everyday, just cause I expect way more of myself. Sometimes just going to the supermarket for me is exhausting, let alone going to one class for 3 hours. I'm doing my masters now and I'm in a relationship (long distance) - our relationship isn't great and I definitely think my partner says some hurtful things but other than that for the past month I feel like I could just cry at any given second. My boyfriend does mention how I don't do anything as well, but he knows about my social anxiety. It's hard to explain that to get myself to do something it's just extremely situational and depends on SO many details. I put on this face to people and my family where everything isn't bad, but in reality I do not want to stay home all day. I don't want to be alone, but I do at the same time. I am introverted and I appreciate that that's okay but I'm disappointed in myself, having social anxiety just doesn't work in the contexts that I want to be in and that makes me even sadder. I realize i dont even know how to explain what im feeling but its just this constant guilt and exhaustion. I'm not suicidal, but at least once a day I think what if my heart just stopped or I didn't wake up from my sleep? Then I wouldnt have to deal with all the future exhaustion that this world is going to cause me. There's so much I want, but I don't know if i can handle it. I guess I feel like a coward and I feel weak, and avoid ever labelling myself as anything just cause somedays come where I convince myself that I'm okay. But it always comes back and I don't deserve to feel this way, I shouldn't be feeling this way. I don't know if I'm depressed or just a normal person who is sometimes happy and sometimes sad. Right now im definitely sad though.

tl;dr my social anxiety led me to a point where I just don't want to deal with life, but i'm not suicidal.",3.523593562504413,4.141909623632387,5.135284816827838,84.50213242041363,72.01969365426694,8.260012705583398,26.558128044046025,8.460557738077197,1.5966787463824383,1706,54,373,27,31,580,193,457,0.18600000000000005,0.7170000000000001,0.097,-0.9841,0,3,1,0,0,0,39.0,1,0,0,3,28,24,0,2,12,2,34,9,4,8,4,98,74,42,2,15,31,0,8,2,2,3,5,1,2,2,26,21,0,2,17,0,0,9,17,14,1,3,5,9,55,10,48,61,9,54,0,7,0,0,18,22,0,10,20,251,81,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365586998270025,0.0,0.0,0.12344712610618855,0.0,0.0,0.050444829827171016,0.0,0.2837368440736854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220873632137249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057039712336025214,0.061937061634404274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286093652235863,0.0,0.12779871471555046,0.0,0.08016204605201496,0.0,0.059226560174333524,0.0,0.08148306277226629,0.0956797104215866,0.15295230014070274,0.12778196205151438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491527129994455,0.0,0.0869382112142098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799015950426844,0.06709990536160065,0.0,0.0,0.06666805029764658,0.0,0.13986028846866835,0.0,0.2625528651261208,0.1059881743035392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05731115456975092,0.0,0.03875590081567525,0.0,0.16863243311298984,0.0,0.0,0.08178352719662231,0.08171744859458252,0.0,0.0,0.07896581105261771,0.06645055950589529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790345866109579,0.0,0.0,0.14881684048005492,0.0,0.07305219261202421,0.0,0.07941104490295743,0.0,0.16025389682195526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306918386233124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585390455712754,0.05239540944505256,0.07248103837183373,0.0,0.0,0.06564681744931676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306504088599288,0.0,0.0,0.049515614202056836,0.07520670715846194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920963457560945,0.0,0.05453071212012515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268048596920729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899910063264863,0.05026617428350765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081304373348173,0.05142695573571415,0.0647709684796243,0.0,0.0,0.0701239187426287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457122025837187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928275813109094,0.0,0.06334917163364419,0.0,0.058990780155490925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338123973046131,0.07423340427659081,0.3024679901426521,0.0,0.057107259148531035,0.22009725331423435,0.0,0.0,0.15813166298439693,0.0,0.06201766151358917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228139373729691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928178456000008,0.14259432422523616,0.07288130878858164,0.0,0.08650971372516139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187659356751608,0.17664149472765156,0.0,0.0,0.06669657804709983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400380152932572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04776938004139066
mentalhealth,TheDivineApeSwine,2019/02/19,"Hospitals in North Texas What are the best places to go to for issues with PTSD, BED, depression, anxiety, and PMDD?

Open to inpatient, outpatient, whatever. ",5.366410256410255,8.827645384615387,5.490000000000002,71.13833333333336,75.92307692307692,12.6974358974359,31.743589743589745,11.20814326018867,5.64291282051282,124,6,19,6,3,39,24,26,0.166,0.706,0.129,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048117801981562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.418146800579976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431828483298799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22644729266711064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.415876397704502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4162935606173963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46576462005384706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sprae45,2019/02/19,"Damaged mind looking for input 23m America, for as long as I can remember my life has in one way or another pushed the idea that im not good enough into my head.  Since I was young, whenever I did anything I wasn't good enough,  I try to help around the house? I messed it up and my parents got on to me.  Tried to get a date or hang out with anyone at school?  I was shunned and humiliated. Needless to say that paved a very poor road for how the rest of my life is going.   I didn't have a self image for so long I couldn't really do anything for myself, I eventually got one friend that looked past the damage long enough to give me a chance, and continues to.  But being his friend provided an entirely different format of im not good enough.  Getting to watch him and his friends going through date after date pushed the idea that im not good enough to be loved so far im my head I can't get it out.  Part of me has fought back and insisted that I'm not going to ask for help, if they care they will offer, *food, advice, etc*. But this has brought on another issue of every time it isn't offered im hurt all over again because they *in my mind*don't care.  Pushing the theme again.  

So now im in a position that ,after a few mental break downs, I'm more aware of how ruined my mental health is,  but I've developed a mental block that asking for help makes me sick, I know it's unreasonable and stupid but I can't help it.  Im still alive and shunned physically and emotionally. And even if I could get myself to seek therapy or general help im too broke to do so. I do work but that barely pays bills and I have next to no money after.  I suppose this could be more of a rant than anything,  but I just wanted to see what the outside anonymous view is on my situation.  

If clarification is needed just ask. Thanks for showing even remotely a little interest",2.38596768929504,3.9876842245430852,4.020371246736293,87.55617044712795,76.20626631853786,7.294027415143603,23.457000652741513,8.07648339933343,1.1478460182767622,1450,44,314,24,32,485,190,383,0.112,0.782,0.107,-0.2471,2,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,3,1,20,20,2,0,17,0,28,8,2,3,1,50,56,30,0,8,18,1,0,0,3,1,4,1,0,1,16,15,1,1,5,1,4,8,11,8,0,2,9,6,38,12,49,40,12,46,0,5,5,1,25,17,0,6,19,205,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328325993584208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358141664733064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04528208230797156,0.0,0.15987724404593573,0.057650619521416625,0.18162711661568767,0.0,0.0,0.049796865509017664,0.0,0.03947743018574881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205539355018514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341205909975487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766099115488727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284690220247905,0.0,0.3345747986085586,0.07222513191262328,0.08554746498886842,0.0,0.05456355646279036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830871410283091,0.0,0.15010152082099104,0.0,0.13533885789813882,0.062124220591788515,0.11041473889344572,0.2172723071389653,0.10358985562520416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329260154094392,0.06883743629523345,0.0,0.0,0.2170381578089188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472497976592007,0.0693275081695248,0.14621355650582754,0.5596200556080847,0.06759318886623877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03559070463758778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148458330415947,0.0,0.06490708429285995,0.0,0.17193314652574174,0.10876510325382847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058448924783012085,0.0,0.04322816998954122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19579020762580315,0.0,0.130779388656449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04801912723664102,0.0,0.0,0.06887357960249113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776684937338868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071908926865024,0.07012936476527007,0.061821272770572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041487266609662524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336107881935704,0.0,0.0,0.05150018864698419,0.0,0.06554113398654804,0.05160577376213951,0.0,0.067559377386505,0.0,0.0,0.053570596165445364,0.07279357154489957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05171785887340145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962281357278189,0.07405933284684213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03776239748736148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793632489264212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343423601187711,0.03819745026971335,0.051403910223376106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047146451684207634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hellokittyisgod,2019/02/19,"Something inside me is broken Rant/vent ahead 

19M, I've spent my whole life being being below average at best and a total failure at worst. I recently got diagnosed with adhd and got a prescription for concerta, which I feel like isn't doing very much. People over on r/adhd told me it wasn't going to help me feel motivates, which was disappointing to hear. I don't know how to feel motivated or if that's even a real thing.

Nothing feels as good as scrolling through apps or watching TV and YouTube, and I hate that about myself. I don't know why I can't Want to do things that are actually valuable. 

I'm obsessed with the concept of self improvement and being the best I can be, but I never take the steps to do that stuff because it doesn't feel good. In most areas of my life im a loser and a failure. I don't know how everyone does it.

Anyways I know that probably didn't make much sense. Thanks for reading if you got this far",4.723125,5.011916729166668,5.830208333333335,81.76062500000002,69.20833333333334,8.9,29.541666666666664,8.841846274778883,2.177179166666666,740,26,152,12,12,247,116,192,0.154,0.757,0.08900000000000001,-0.8834,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,6,5,12,1,1,8,0,19,3,0,5,2,32,41,15,0,3,5,0,5,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,14,8,0,0,11,2,1,2,9,5,0,0,8,7,17,7,22,29,8,13,0,2,1,0,5,8,0,5,4,104,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.12537301496825254,0.0,0.3088038382525112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831713487389147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26965305997870165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303993662359269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242929138608204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848564904317319,0.0,0.0,0.12276331697342185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.324803965740895,0.0917825273901431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301527275455029,0.21551737920249275,0.30825945317591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684241133555074,0.0,0.0,0.14480060188559707,0.0,0.08611404844704493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877498854084064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824258825606154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814913082184383,0.06276636929868032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575802435703023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888773626520586,0.0,0.09908779890528303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327517607467794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906835134053716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385177217664534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850971356115395,0.14623261576674845,0.0,0.0,0.12685351025283975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402738845663506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989062904690684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707307628476365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659717080051958,0.0,0.0,0.11828246950649066,0.0,0.0,0.17070609135163858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276331697342185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600528577810596,0.07577785206727633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592865614089592,0.14343768956869116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dark34q,2019/02/19,How To Manage Your Mental Health Hi Everyone I made a Mental health playlist to help you out more videos are coming soon. Any advice let me know in the YouTube comments and subscribe to Ivahealth.,5.372499999999999,7.7029312500000024,4.167777777777779,86.555,69.83333333333334,5.911111111111111,28.66666666666667,6.42735559955562,1.3780666666666668,159,6,27,1,3,46,32,36,0.0,0.924,0.076,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,2,0,6,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,5,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,17,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579908878245668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795381994497021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274242098806465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25227616558289057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5612679031825867,0.0,0.0,0.17696265041244455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450948876063304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699716401477645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498159100276265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5321269220743627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jewfrahh,2019/02/19,"How do I snap out of this? Hey. I’m a 20-year-old college student. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m under the assumption that I’m bipolar. I can’t really picture-perfect describe what’s going on, but I’ll try my best. For anyone that reads this and gives input, I thank you in advance. I’m going to do my best to make it simple, short, and make it so you want to read instead of skip and move on. I really want help.

To start, I’ve never really been an anxious guy. I mean, I had light social anxiety in high school, but it wasn’t crippling at all and I actually was a pretty popular guy; I concealed it well. I don’t know if this is relevant to the story, but I’m including everything.

I had to deal with a friend’s suicide in November 2016 which gave me, what I think, light depression for a little bit of time. I would spend days in my room in the dark just thinking.

I had my ex-girlfriend break up with me in October 2017. I’m over it now completely, the whole falling out gave me bad anxiety. I was so attached to the idea of a girl giving me attention after my friend’s suicide that her breaking up with me seemed like the end of the world. It was a bad relationship and I had cognitive dissonance and tried to convince myself it was great because of the fact a girl was giving me so much attention. After the breakup I had bad depression. Smoked a lot of weed to cope with it and had bad panic attacks from the combined anxiety and drug abuse, I think. Stopped smoking.

Used the summer of 2018 to my advantage. Was in the best shape of my life and used YouTube self-help videos, CBD, and working out to my advantage. I was training hard to make my community college’s basketball team. Really felt good here. Finally got over the breakup, too.

Fall 2018. Meh. Things are bland here. No symptoms, but I stopped working out and smoked a lot of weed again. Winter 2018 is also meh. I’m having fun and doing my thing but things feel stagnant. I remember thinking to myself a lot, “what’s the point?” — not in a suicidal way, I think I just felt confused.

Here we are now. I have days of extreme confidence, but days of extreme-lows. I have goals but can’t seem to put them into place. I know who I am. I’m creative, funny, on a mission to be independent, and have personal goals I can’t get started on. I’m trying a bunch of different things but I still feel myself fighting slight bouts of what feels like depression or bipolar. Some days I can hold a conversation with anyone, but some days I can’t have a conversation at all. Some days I’m the king of jokes in any situation and I’m flowing creatively, some days I can’t do it at all and I feel introverted and my thoughts take over. I’m not suicidal. I know I have a lot to offer to this world. I know exactly what I’m capable of. I have so many ideas and new things to show the world, but my own mental roadblocks get in the way. I just want to have a stabilized mood instead of getting random sadness for almost no reason.

I live at home and go to community college. I work and make good money. I have aspirations of playing 1 year of basketball, learning more about the stock market and potentially becoming a day reader, getting in good shape, training to become a pro wrestler, potentially start a rap career, and continue to write down creative ideas I have so I don’t forget them. I have so much to offer.

How can I get over these mental roadblocks? I’m stuck.

Tl;dr: random bouts of depression get in my way of becoming who I want to be and who I know I can be.",2.4852739878723042,4.382159442415734,4.131102193686466,85.57400124843946,76.76685393258427,7.49816301052256,26.32967718922775,8.368874486241431,1.809274273229892,2761,107,565,53,63,924,288,712,0.138,0.7020000000000001,0.16,0.9564,1,0,3,0,3,2,93.0,1,2,2,13,24,34,2,2,39,0,50,5,0,10,6,117,117,44,4,6,18,0,7,2,2,1,5,0,2,5,32,33,0,3,29,8,2,10,14,13,1,0,22,9,76,20,91,91,21,88,0,5,0,0,33,45,0,16,30,371,108,17,0.0,0.06749461248210788,0.05558995418077076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704255906543745,0.0,0.0,0.04555516156283118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038738384408617405,0.0,0.13073498680763546,0.06435461930157971,0.0,0.0796629800318045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480629767193248,0.0,0.0,0.19025471676317784,0.03472554233709158,0.18874122641859634,0.0,0.0,0.17934482854284645,0.0,0.06219139703931832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059727074845826664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939034517602994,0.05872876387265884,0.1962566543845363,0.0,0.0,0.05951665551337736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606170873294001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05045438274980549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051196774160038976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521354944102545,0.04069605005116442,0.10939131890617307,0.06240274517802535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802256025963914,0.0,0.1785722329575046,0.16393903368343446,0.12949886123261034,0.1433394726695391,0.04556038602665696,0.0628044881049219,0.0,0.11280928472661515,0.0,0.0,0.05102975522221995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636533282228401,0.0601870089884029,0.057140880371124886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292080396862105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878399655019541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040236304082764254,0.05566077507652695,0.05709423569324785,0.05030143859277083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19371957879186869,0.0,0.0,0.15209922632387593,0.05775391337412311,0.0,0.06205195487547096,0.0,0.0,0.11481532801751215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060545140895952,0.08375215836479022,0.0,0.043935181764695866,0.05501748003855174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05977554139488909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683655224894422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973993735490098,0.05951665551337736,0.0,0.05385065882465173,0.0,0.0,0.0579542298660698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057265900312989365,0.0,0.0,0.11396151062423625,0.0,0.14597382112517718,0.058569856757210326,0.0,0.061159456135418476,0.06453062513060774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765196499270803,0.0,0.1037182115562525,0.059427272967467276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403142855694388,0.0,0.058068989991600616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096108187812965,0.0,0.04549259385532022,0.09525114942673073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24924334305417786,0.0,0.0,0.05920879956879075,0.04283084601700565,0.0,0.0,0.05244603124459642,0.0,0.0,0.18922620228561612,0.18250544754370146,0.0,0.04522411661746365,0.033216947671807495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160271790232955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983995269080936,0.0,0.0,0.1343985330624399,0.13564930536422984,0.0,0.0,0.05121868163655182,0.0,0.0,0.06359976740559592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441433722765055,0.0,0.0,0.04046654289478135,0.0,0.0,0.07336762214660067
mentalhealth,mjnhbgvf,2019/02/19,"How do you find a balance between constantly feeling the need to “better” yourself and accepting yourself for who you are? Constantly feel torn between these two. I feel as though I don’t deserve anything positive to happen in my life unless I “better” myself basically into a completely different person. I also feel as though maybe I’d be happier and more content if I made more of an effort to accept myself as I am. 

I feel like for a while the main message making the rounds on the internet was self-love and now I feel as though everyone is obsessed with self-improvement to the point that no one is good enough for themselves or each other. Does anyone else feel this way??

I feel like with the constant need for self-improvement I’ll never feel good enough for myself, anyone, or anything. Am I trying too hard? Am I not trying hard enough? Will I ever feel content?? 

Sorry if I didn’t articulate this very well. ",4.571699507389162,6.520742902298857,5.3973727422003295,78.50275862068966,71.1264367816092,7.9599343185550095,28.52052545155993,8.634040054169528,2.386735303776683,731,28,125,13,14,238,101,174,0.057,0.753,0.191,0.9768,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,3,9,10,0,1,10,0,12,1,0,3,2,33,27,18,0,4,6,0,13,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,13,0,0,0,5,1,1,2,3,13,19,9,22,22,7,12,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,4,9,98,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856744939719068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373920525744532,0.10066484050049017,0.1616965003951903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378155725531172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300926985231984,0.3185077137370365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264636673251422,0.0,0.0,0.08597591032439758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207209211988772,0.0,0.0,0.30454375755875,0.0,0.0,0.08886931119010004,0.0,0.09387845285787423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4967622989929269,0.14037420759228175,0.0,0.0,0.08979524549431465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16480849998452005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687878881754571,0.0,0.17601859256466754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939419544352701,0.09599625990134804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296292845774104,0.06558010035301419,0.0,0.0987015115196972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569662254057852,0.0757735249230359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657416669462621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578479094538294,0.0,0.0,0.09287441350363328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30747663501828315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997857561897836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895791734326701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340543938200458,0.0,0.09597226014502304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106340288736189,0.0,0.07798325933764827,0.0,0.0,0.08833513129177258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rosesamit,2019/02/19,"Am i having a high? Before starting, i wanted to mention that i did not use any alcohol/drugs/medication, and I am 17 F.
It’s been 3 days since I haven’t really slept, and usually i am so depressed but now i have so. much. energy.  If it wasn’t -20 C here in Quebec and i wasn’t so asthmatic, i would litteraly go run a 10k. so i am just walking around in my room and shaking from everywhere.  My emotions are overwhelmingly too much intense, i can’t bear them. I’m a non-violent person, but while i don’t sleep i am scheming revenge for people who hurt me. My thoughts aren’t even clear and i’m sorry you had to read this. It’s like EVERYTHING is too intense, my mind is everywhere. I feel like i’m gonna die from it. 
I am probably forgetting other things
I do have a psychiatric history, my psychiatrist suspected before I have bipolar 2 but never had a real manic period. Is it what I’m having? What should I do? Everything is too much.
Thank you ",0.8552597402597399,3.1376107040816343,3.718218923933212,84.2728849721707,84.81632653061227,7.645269016697589,23.70500927643785,8.575989854853784,1.9722020408163257,742,29,152,20,22,263,114,196,0.138,0.758,0.104,-0.8016,1,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,1,0,12,7,0,2,5,0,30,3,2,1,2,24,43,14,1,4,6,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,12,6,0,0,3,1,0,4,8,4,0,0,8,1,27,3,8,32,3,16,0,3,0,0,6,5,0,1,9,108,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391321176292493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066473623227052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486780853595005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769493858563131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495000134663658,0.0,0.140162601143875,0.0,0.16889225432105245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18305390589576265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748430703454434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29250974684961306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228322666212216,0.1162572397728996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248551236366408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193746140918684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742101691733987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590072762806639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807608467963726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431500297488486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35888475948913434,0.0,0.12551053368723744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281930202202888,0.14209309788265986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17545483274551674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277809085730416,0.18522697900383747,0.10425160121056093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461529005025585,0.0,0.16285157729816704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216744877739985,0.11518400009677507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498236517272411,0.0,0.0,0.10811327361145033,0.0,0.0,0.12919266028285245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405499720355146,0.17922856816792776,0.0,0.09598476058316492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560160197818298,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bird98,2019/02/19,"Can my psychiatrist hospitalize me? Everyone is saying I'm delusional...The short story is that I know something that indicates my life here is drawing to an end and my psychiatrist I think he can make me forget or at least be unaware or maybe he can make me THINK that I'm not right. I need to prolong my stay here. I need to stay and I need to not go away.

So I scheduled an appointment with my psychiatrist for later this week because I need to talk to him and tell him what I need him to do. I know he will say I'm delusional too because that's what everyone is saying and they're telling me I'm anxious (Duh! Of course I am) and that I need to do this and that. You know.

I want to know if he can hospitalize me against my will. Because all of the psychiatric hospitals here are the same network and I hate that hospital and network because when I had to go a long time ago they told me all this stuff that was Freudian and I thought that we didn't really do that anymore. It was so traumatic and I never want to go back. My psychiatrist is with a different hospital but they don't have an inpatient there so if he tries to hospitalize me I'll have to go to the other network.

I'm not suicidal at all but I do feel hopeless. I don't want to leave this earth but it's inevitable if this knowledge doesn't go away and it will happen in my sleep so I try not to sleep but then when I do sleep I just am afraid to wake up and open my eyes because what if I'm not here anymore.

The reason I think he might try to make me inpatient is because I really want to hurt a group of people but they don't live here on earth (because they're running the earth and this universe simulation) and they would never ever come here because of the nature of the simulation. But since they're kind of outside of this what we know, would he be able to force me into a hospital? Or would it be worse like I could get arrested or something? Or if he doesn't even believe me since no one else is believing me would he just give me what I need to stop knowing and call it a day? I'm really worried about this.",2.358529112636667,3.881880128146456,3.9954252479023653,88.03805523773201,76.09382151029747,7.601550978896518,25.86886600559369,8.344100000000001,1.54750551741673,1644,60,363,30,36,550,165,437,0.08800000000000001,0.877,0.035,-0.9761,1,0,2,0,0,1,27.0,2,1,4,0,20,6,1,1,15,1,42,6,5,4,6,87,85,38,1,21,23,0,1,1,0,8,1,3,0,0,30,22,0,1,13,0,0,7,14,4,0,1,6,5,56,2,41,67,5,36,0,2,1,0,29,11,0,11,17,249,86,0,0.07509419661214407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656647437211356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483506745846785,0.14894652925336094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110693933380056,0.0577428019066129,0.0,0.366213802045036,0.0,0.0,0.16921088849644245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667957077551316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646870010867765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995660552440549,0.0,0.0,0.04842954442694823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845745247467918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273156539260064,0.0,0.0665111690599347,0.0,0.0,0.04959900863208546,0.06792700005957594,0.0,0.14351144590800205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037969882135247865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0392336183311793,0.07203719604770623,0.2133888124056075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664055500617262,0.0,0.0,0.07413997235494804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803898906084165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819904996523404,0.2476188394507895,0.0,0.0,0.07951391146623703,0.0,0.0,0.05304125186638997,0.03668723131030828,0.0,0.06630955139798242,0.06645600092519023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037787806379788,0.0,0.07544221384294449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796630755679966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897697669095619,0.1158345476753221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088577107747247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052060860689719636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443217957396192,0.07720934103806855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413003359905163,0.0,0.1791537576189903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423739087916298,0.0,0.22544528622856266,0.0,0.0,0.11562236264507154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008084397551134,0.0,0.06278211086329079,0.0,0.0,0.08596488899177387,0.08214086281237698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060357870719230114,0.13127127549942244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443519870549002,0.0,0.059616404006883277,0.04378802993607349,0.0,0.0,0.07175572295400102,0.0,0.15295209056135894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717001114155193,0.0,0.060236034910148936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626180181868013,0.07652740182447289,0.21337905086204054,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pgd2019,2019/02/19,"Panic Attacks Does anyone self suffer from panic attacks where they become so physically real that your extremities tingle, breath becomes short, chest becomes tight, etc.",17.293846153846154,15.17425607692308,14.065384615384614,40.52961538461543,45.92307692307693,13.476923076923079,49.07692307692307,11.20814326018867,6.318738461538462,142,6,13,2,1,43,23,26,0.431,0.569,0.0,-0.9423,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,0,2,5,2,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571796177869433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416294056258788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6430985771035991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698566269686066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21647078033452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554647912955533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209262244804205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20248673494239766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonassanon,2019/02/19,"My friend obsesses, rants, for days on end. My friend (F 50s, former GF) obsesses often, and points her rage and obsession at me, which explains why she's my ex-GF.  Recently she felt insulted when she participated at an event with other people and has been obsessed, on the  phone, ranting with people she knows, the offenders, constantly.  This is day 4 of this obsession from waking until bedtime.  Now, she's moved on to the letter and email writing portion of the rant.  Pages and pages of it.  I've known her for several years and this is a constant pattern.  Get upset.  Lash out.  Write letters.  Accuse.  When I have been the target, I feel trapped and abused, and have lashed out at her in the past to stop screaming, yelling, calling names.  Her rationale for her behavior is solid... to her.

I am starting to see her behavior differently.  When it's pointed at me, I just think she's unreasonable that she's taking one small thing and blowing it out of proportion for hours and days.  But now I'm worried that it is a form of mental illness, after seeing her direct it outwardly.  Now that she's mad at others, I am her ally and supporter.  This friendly position of mine can change with a word or a glance, and all of a sudden I'm one of the bad guys.

How concerned should I be for her?  How should I act with her?  And what could be her mental issues(s)?

Btw, when she's not in this frame of mind, she's sweet and wonderful.  But it's like a Jekyl and Hyde change.  Or, Incredible Hulk... you get the idea.

Any advice or insight would be helpful.",3.496442953020136,5.394293986577182,4.422558389261749,84.58586442953022,73.8993288590604,7.586791946308723,26.68510067114093,8.364918446050245,1.8289300402684563,1200,44,234,21,25,388,163,298,0.165,0.7609999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9748,1,1,0,0,2,0,57.0,0,1,0,0,11,18,4,6,15,0,19,2,1,3,1,53,34,27,0,4,7,0,2,1,4,3,1,2,0,1,19,22,0,1,10,0,0,2,1,12,0,2,3,8,36,6,38,24,5,43,0,0,3,0,39,17,0,5,25,163,55,0,0.0,0.15436365052910025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731070950258178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859667776445038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878058088610182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330331644092991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27564356313022553,0.0,0.0,0.2815785477854468,0.0,0.10402010443567652,0.0,0.0,0.2520646169843355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611765257209624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539176861734028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658748284792591,0.0,0.12509178660019846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30196818451689394,0.0,0.1361346273860526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900031842240126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873257221192459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830217865752366,0.0,0.0,0.14707326737374601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715999438667008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364952783727375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26258856103777944,0.0,0.13154834923995826,0.0,0.0,0.13846985154519392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656580706904848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436954269981434,0.1806431874716957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463184533957856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863841133891704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076368277724148,0.0,0.0,0.14718232461051234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922147387472703,0.0,0.0,0.10892213912999844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784322095426086,0.0,0.0,0.0979563479705497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655401160591553,0.08347986924663395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755983831189724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128598948717627,0.0,0.1323083673641751,0.0,0.09254906511518636,0.0,0.0,0.08389776286360011
mentalhealth,Sally_G,2019/02/19,"This is actually a post about needing advice! I understand mental illness is exactly that - an illness. And I treat it exactly the same way as someone with a physical illness.
The problem I currently have is that I am a manager at my place of work and there is woman there with mental health issues and it is effecting her work. I either need her to take time off work or I will have to let her go as she is not performing. 
I don't however want to seem uncaring, or unfair dismissal but on the other hand the business is suffering. 
Any advice very much appreciated! ",4.741032110091744,6.1943795596330276,6.5035665137614656,72.70287270642203,69.91743119266054,10.220642201834863,32.89105504587156,10.411451182825502,3.839705504587156,448,21,79,13,8,155,72,109,0.134,0.77,0.096,0.2241,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,5,3,3,0,0,8,0,13,5,1,1,2,20,20,8,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,12,1,12,18,3,9,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,3,2,63,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.18275250582943547,0.0,0.0,0.3660041638651452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735280909635402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643218608958813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990636097081608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954655038239803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191500454246228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37745648853380653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766801066264986,0.2777227426589422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19566157400107054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793568193219908,0.0,0.0,0.17919602064599405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048730603747592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867673619811531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408068157593497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920103303715092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949589414417283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452074445222458,0.11045911558538983,0.14864946274717705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.409013323082151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrWolfyy,2019/02/19,"Mental ilness or just normal? So my girlfriend says, ""Sometimes when I see people (sees online pictures or in real life, might be family,friends or me), a voice in my head says ""i hope they die"", ""i hope they drown"" or other ways to die."" She is not sure if this voice is her own inner voice  or in someone elses voice (maybe multiple personality). She says that she feels the need to yell inside to this voice to make it stop, thinking if she doesn't do that, what it says may happen. I don't know if this is a serious mental disorder or something that just happens sometimes. I know sometimes i think badly of other people and get annoyed by my own thoughts, but i never doubt if its me doing the thinking. She says its been happening for a year or less. Is this normal? ",6.660347682119205,5.91742552317881,6.853369205298012,79.54574917218542,65.29139072847683,9.139403973509934,30.795529801324506,8.07648339933343,2.0621582781456955,598,18,117,6,8,193,88,151,0.085,0.871,0.044,-0.4724,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,0,4,7,1,1,5,0,12,2,1,1,2,36,29,15,3,9,15,0,1,0,1,2,1,11,0,1,14,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,14,20,3,10,24,3,9,0,0,2,0,15,4,0,16,4,83,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097780749056885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24308037525441206,0.0,0.13421654607770458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782916791907613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921360246678676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047777655684493,0.0,0.061184384795323614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106761165813422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018715988044534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23263043161347025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871959474177447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271723338960592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817086763443486,0.0,0.11765128065971728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360357518124277,0.124233666861609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683450722167363,0.09032133459797224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294830323671638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237664883863887,0.10225467027256507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329517017963546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4656471035953924,0.0,0.0,0.1866407072475572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992256958388726,0.09015588451853948,0.3474700563204365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979079930099016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037342407123964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251152939140882,0.0,0.09297110891176318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295531739918916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541406775157096
mentalhealth,Mr_Hyde7,2019/02/19,"Suicidal or lackluster, pick your poison - a discussion about anti-depressants Background: I've struggled with depression and anxiety for my whole life, but it dramatically increased the moment I had kids. Eventually it got bad enough that I was hospitalized. They put me on zoloft, which made me so anxious that I actually thought my heart was going to stop - scared the piss out of me. Eventually I settled on Lexapro. It worked wonders for like 7 months - I felt normal again, I felt emotion - happiness, euphoria, sympathy, compassion, even sadness - but never suicidal thoughts or depression. Then, it's effectiveness dropped off a cliff. I went up to 20mg (from 10) and all it did was introduce a ton of negative side-effects: non-existent sex life, dramatic weight-gain (15 pounds in 4 months), and a complete lack of emotions and motivation in anything. When I try to go down to 5mg I get suicidal again. At 10mg, no suicidality, but my motivation is so terrible that I think I might end up losing my job, not to mention I'm so easily agitated that i'm no fun to be around at all. I feel like each day, sometimes each hour, a figurative dice is rolled that determines my mood. ""You rolled a 7, congratulations, today you don't want to do anything. Too bad you are a dad of 3, that sucks, welp, guess you're joing to hate your life today."" Or, ""you rolled a 2, congrats, you're going to feel pretty normal today."" Or, ""ouch, you rolled a 12, that means you are going to fight for your life today - let's hope today is not the day you kill yourself.""

For the record, I've tried Wellbutrin - did nothing, I've tried hormone replacement therapy - worked for 2 weeks then stopped, Celexa - nothing. I know there are a million anti-depressants and there is no way or someone to tell me which one to take. But, am I doomed to choose between living sliggishly and killing myself? There HAS to be a better option out there. Maybe lifestyle change? No meds?

Has anyone had a similar experience, where not many medications help at all? What has helped you? Man, I just want to feel normal again! ",5.566319205803744,6.872031752577321,6.1938258877434125,76.25113592974421,67.81443298969073,9.76876670484918,32.153875525009546,9.994966539143718,3.250870255822833,1632,69,300,39,27,532,215,388,0.238,0.608,0.155,-0.9887,1,0,0,0,1,1,82.0,0,11,1,7,17,24,7,2,16,0,24,10,2,5,4,59,52,21,6,7,13,1,5,2,0,1,7,0,0,2,15,12,0,2,16,0,0,7,10,17,0,2,14,5,37,6,42,34,10,46,1,5,0,1,21,15,2,10,24,186,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.0756018626904405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059266154992240985,0.08752173236394893,0.0,0.05417048607641327,0.0,0.12750632746411267,0.06896683904334773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937239457119293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851802015647808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195550051261308,0.0,0.08122831144476475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992654577468024,0.0,0.2669073730231168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429198925220546,0.0686175294258686,0.08004967327376238,0.0,0.05116977317357314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757828487486449,0.0,0.0,0.11751708208726636,0.055346280337027036,0.14877125900440916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04047611849818891,0.0,0.17611734475692048,0.0,0.06196173569976175,0.0,0.0853445556178683,0.0,0.0,0.08247078401487189,0.0,0.07648793137457034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180513765088633,0.10385620012504312,0.0,0.0,0.07694754918081098,0.07629468397031491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687937822245065,0.0,0.1714234093876467,0.0,0.042576791343378266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922075257667087,0.218884118993442,0.0756981785035308,0.0,0.06840952667915219,0.0,0.0,0.08667177120529747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330623463702489,0.0,0.07854482870317618,0.07783141390367251,0.08439012841984897,0.08605434397284341,0.07804526752710864,0.0,0.08218594725070025,0.0,0.0,0.12367542154238925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059751471790258415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22771943631915825,0.14867366693060194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052497286450040766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078817257420594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778811351099237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756336276055581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564209211671973,0.0,0.07662216005628783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295407493348375,0.0,0.08099094763621115,0.0,0.33896881686235364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05824958460953648,0.0,0.06771427067562183,0.0,0.0885964128487542,0.0,0.0,0.04964116984370215,0.0,0.12300882435311085,0.0,0.0,0.3671737655084431,0.0,0.0,0.157795972062748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139042828981092,0.061493965407557916,0.062143666340013226,0.09434048183880886,0.0,0.07181766799164416,0.0,0.08649514023533866,0.0,0.0,0.08401548617604278,0.11280162370368987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NWcoffeeaddict,2019/02/19,"I am extremely emotional. (33,m) So first off I have had years of therapy for sexual assault, and the accompanying PTSD that went with it. That means a lot of anxiety, depression, etc. 

I have been lately noticing that I have these intense periods of emotions, wherein I will just cry at whatever moves me. But more than crying, I am filled with this scramble of extremely high and low emotions, which lasts for a few hours before I settle down again.

I am married. I have been communicating this to my wife. I get very paranoid about her. Like I constantly feel she is cheating, plotting against me, and using me to exist while she does whatever she wants. In my mind I try to think rationally about things. I tell myself there is nothing to indicate these things I am thinking. What tells me these are paranoid delusions is that it does not matter who, so long as I am close to someone, I will begin to form paranoid delusions about how they are all plotting against me and just using me and will discard me if I confront it directly. So its a catch 22 of paranoid delusions, on the one hand people are lying, cheating, whispering, plotting, and on the other hand I am so afraid to lose them I don't know what to do.

So I recognize I am being paranoid, past the point where I can self-check, and into the realm of prolonged delusional behavior, until something clicks and then I come down from the paranoia and can see how incredibly ridiculous my thoughts were. 

I am a shut in these days. I spend my time alone watching tv, painting, reading, taking care of my dogs and doing chores. I just cannot sustain close relationships, and I do wonder if I am pushing my wife away somehow, even though she says I'm not and I'm just being silly. 

I wonder if I have snapped, and she is just trying to work to the point where she can leave me without harming me and without her having to lose everything as well. Another delusion?

I have been crying all morning. About stupid stuff. T
V., news, whatever. Crying. I feel right now like I am just a drain on everyone. I called a suicide hotline over a month ago. I told my wife. She got sad, I got sad, we got sad together, a touching moment that felt real, then it got put down and we havent talked or done anything about it. 

For the first time in all my life, I feel suicidal. I don't have plans, I am not planning, but I feel like I would be best to just die and let the world go on without me constantly burdening everyone with my bullshit. If I die, I won't slip in psychosis again, and I won't have to live with these thoughts anymore. I feel extremely tortured, by myself.

And what are my options? I don't have health insurance, even though I am on disability. They say 'too bad, figure it out'. So I am really on my own. I can't go admit myself for mental health, because I know that it would be a fruitless gesture, and I would wind up destroying all the work I have done to get out of debt.

I really really hate this nations healthcare system. I hate even more the systematic stigmatization of mental health patients. I just want to die, and go to heaven so I can see my dad again and be with Jesus where I won't have to feel pain anymore.

My life is literally intense physical and mental pain, every single day. I am tired.",4.160896226415094,5.642763564465412,4.995424528301887,82.84757075471701,71.37421383647799,7.941509433962264,29.44496855345912,8.472884824447931,2.1788119496855347,2561,103,494,42,48,831,284,636,0.191,0.754,0.055,-0.9979,1,1,1,0,0,2,88.0,2,0,3,9,39,31,10,1,20,0,70,10,2,4,4,94,112,46,5,9,21,4,10,3,0,9,8,3,1,0,31,35,0,0,18,2,2,10,15,23,1,3,16,17,98,8,72,81,13,72,2,7,4,0,28,34,0,10,30,375,129,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057550617301971876,0.0,0.0,0.06724099295673032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807777523947023,0.0496661719101824,0.0,0.12877300149019388,0.0,0.0,0.05342637109069842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060997608337013925,0.0,0.05420827106167105,0.03957666109515176,0.0,0.055244974406926925,0.0,0.06813303235129843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629398168081027,0.0,0.06619366473111063,0.0,0.0,0.055925702526268696,0.0,0.14031811670032512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852609301853363,0.08374035740104485,0.0,0.055918371431370836,0.0,0.20214050820828813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362969213620673,0.1328782207647965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21909003296825091,0.0,0.0,0.07240667781081664,0.12864374707840112,0.0,0.0547007080276867,0.12407405349026633,0.05834890526483245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19696312683329326,0.04638124194437458,0.06233658085271938,0.0,0.0,0.11044750747421292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783952358141501,0.0,0.11069227861425156,0.0,0.2077004804864119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819670009640358,0.0,0.2070314005316664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859506567074042,0.0,0.0,0.06393640502574836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136033166049102,0.0529211814563444,0.07323634729092908,0.06874443527526397,0.0,0.06638850650665748,0.09171453997446216,0.09515478304614766,0.0,0.05732849233741912,0.05745510653433869,0.0,0.14526520537753326,0.0,0.055195495889722807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072054237652689,0.0,0.0,0.19628234807829675,0.0,0.06555405859416684,0.0,0.05182118485831198,0.0690032281983359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229568884010767,0.07391564473324197,0.0,0.0,0.04399373055308146,0.0,0.1381660071278821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197666741223451,0.045009664372738435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274706919565907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589190179669797,0.06526588143664815,0.0,0.0,0.06494090200355795,0.07389696628428997,0.12477464839904005,0.0,0.0,0.06970336257786387,0.0,0.05544417149975662,0.0,0.10325928019265343,0.0,0.0,0.10347098122281334,0.0,0.06772919539201386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05500932922069686,0.04998115347779267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432168331637884,0.14203117726028314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04881426647793676,0.05218291567473342,0.11349170900620592,0.0,0.07424548921298826,0.0,0.08626435498668952,0.0832005003733632,0.1275736897388184,0.10308374851702228,0.0757146349428402,0.07461982047731605,0.0,0.062037026745133166,0.0,0.08815736262097429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214582887033042,0.0,0.05356854890427567,0.0765869276146088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058373873190890525,0.060184579970277735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877513281539845,0.14081317001527024,0.09452991906339506,0.0,0.0,0.13835901869804906,0.0,0.0,0.04180849774593266
mentalhealth,throwaway89820446,2019/02/19,"At first i thought i was grieving but now i think there’s something wrong with my psych meds. back story, a close family friend killed himself the other day, He was only 11 years old, and his family lives across the street. but even before then i have been having these symptoms but the we’re definitely not as bad. it’s just gotten so much worse. 

one minute i’m fine then all the sudden i’ll lose interest in everything and get really upset. then a little later i’ll be high energy and motivated. I’ll have full on breakdowns of screaming and punching things then 5 minutes later i’ll be fine. i feel really light headed and disoriented/dissociated constantly.. 

I take
 20mgs of Adderall XR (for ADD)
30 Mgs of prozac
50mgs of desvenlafaxine (pristiq)

i was recently bumped from 20 to 30 prozac, given right around my period i get really depressed/manic. at first it was only supposed to be a week before my period but we just decided on doing it all the time. Any advice?",2.844999999999999,5.517147209677422,4.341301075268817,80.50195161290323,79.59139784946238,7.590967741935482,21.66559139784946,8.548686976883017,1.730228817204301,775,23,138,18,20,257,123,186,0.13699999999999998,0.732,0.131,-0.4993,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,4,8,11,1,1,8,0,12,4,1,1,2,24,21,15,2,0,7,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,6,10,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,7,0,3,8,3,14,4,17,10,4,33,0,2,0,0,5,13,0,0,20,85,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999344379254068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438179834508296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664300744869154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802810656947806,0.12816183342791404,0.0,0.0,0.2612257158917653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587346125655336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899151482083683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138193650588707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795132238667032,0.0,0.28940266975701656,0.0,0.07761163551324511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611253740104437,0.0,0.0,0.11858978213861306,0.0,0.16038950423596735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753005487624785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217579362508552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169819369212454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384221845538593,0.13553881246762026,0.0,0.0,0.17172153519973588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704982354937682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283641585546185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610670812193575,0.0,0.10401211949006864,0.23347958260998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29499829806325045,0.0,0.1515577000247123,0.0,0.0,0.13108380941012546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816787625025585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953997749759358,0.11540906519844067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197519380384512,0.09835333668767048,0.0,0.12185780829952494,0.08950411294763469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312435339033401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156424420703245,0.0,0.16782258158762894,0.0,0.0988456857052243
mentalhealth,pasterrible2207,2019/02/19,"Paranoia that is getting worse I have a family history of bipolar disorder and depression. Lately I’ve noticed a change in my behavior and thought patterns. I’m more agitated than normal and distrustful of people close to me. I’m constantly feeling paranoid that there’s some person or god-like thing out to get me. I’m not religious but I feel like I’m constantly being watched and followed. I take precautions to limit how often I’m vulnerable and I’m more secretive than I used to be. It’s like the people around me are “in on it” and mocking me for not knowing. Like they’re giving me messages through the things that they say and I over analyze things on tv or the radio thinking that people are trying to talk to me. I’ve experienced body distortions and hallucinations but I’ve been experiencing them since I was a kid and they’re pretty rare (like maybe once a year). The hallucinations also tend to be more visual rather than auditory and I don’t hear voices. I’m seeing a counselor now and I’m supposed to see a psychiatrist soon but I just feel trapped and anxious. I struggle with self-harm and I’ve been considering suicide recently. I’m also struggling with concentration and memory and sometimes I feel really disoriented and forget where I am. I don’t know what to do. It’s just this constant dread and it’s affecting my close relationships as I just keep fighting with everyone and accusing them. I’m aware of the paranoia but it doesn’t stop that train of thought and I just keep getting worse. Any idea why I might be feeling like this or what I can do to lessen the paranoia ?
I took an assessment for the counselor. I don’t know how relevant it would be and it’s not a diagnosis at all but I was rated high for depression, anxiety, and general hostility. I’m a 19-year-old female",3.0129815345431403,5.610088756446994,4.724357688634196,78.4581761381726,78.34097421203438,8.233078637376632,28.89215218083413,8.998388855275968,2.8691489334606812,1452,67,264,38,36,489,173,349,0.226,0.718,0.056,-0.9957,1,1,0,0,2,1,27.0,0,0,3,1,15,14,4,3,16,0,23,2,1,4,1,73,59,34,1,3,16,0,5,5,0,2,1,3,0,2,19,28,0,4,13,2,0,2,7,9,0,0,7,13,30,5,33,45,5,23,0,2,3,0,13,12,0,6,14,172,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612557084178864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856287417793734,0.0,0.07712906796006573,0.11390092109679563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975355354606147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199125952087248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665701815084998,0.0,0.0,0.32686047090300285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367683896177938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555151674473207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634038356164942,0.0,0.0,0.09504664198116003,0.0,0.25489486121165417,0.1440554737526088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802705413309825,0.096718293848014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136344786825556,0.0,0.0,0.10652468830115397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381652427976728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923164642825326,0.0,0.0,0.1662285110350866,0.0,0.11373236531223327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462843234480279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128992530712126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695692190072928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987848116798288,0.0,0.11478728008778714,0.10579643385087004,0.10737285496657714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20969323759496145,0.0880344681004284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257290362121273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458958526450498,0.0,0.09955022506068384,0.10824581767718164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017823533782176,0.0,0.0,0.16068523173200094,0.0,0.10518003529078557,0.0,0.0,0.08340155598230052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971620043517512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842922681617575,0.0,0.2108034950200926,0.0,0.11028363876289222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580610165418555,0.08103744449460452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200946309401456,0.0646030970457477,0.0,0.16008387880841887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201769811243127,0.0684519759754151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707841699597832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097677933236746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054938321636712,0.07162153330002596,0.0,0.0,0.1298529900708207
mentalhealth,Kitchen_Particular,2019/02/19,"Mental Health on College Campuses Interesting article explaining the increase in mental health issues on college campuses these days:

[https://www.ajc.com/blog/get-schooled/why-student-mental-health-georgia-tech-and-other-schools-worsening/nPgVz1SP7dFoElq7ye9b9J/?fbclid=IwAR1iWyg2Z4gW6NqdUWOeAOSxggzbezCC-SSiAEuucv3hc1d0GdYQyugzMFs](https://www.ajc.com/blog/get-schooled/why-student-mental-health-georgia-tech-and-other-schools-worsening/nPgVz1SP7dFoElq7ye9b9J/?fbclid=IwAR1iWyg2Z4gW6NqdUWOeAOSxggzbezCC-SSiAEuucv3hc1d0GdYQyugzMFs)",103.67499999999998,131.1766685,44.95,-209.395,-136.0,16.0,55.0,13.023866798666859,11.1305,510,9,8,6,2,96,15,20,0.0,0.7709999999999999,0.229,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,1,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613206223947573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719588681609635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6997078483602932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717651298871867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6633790772427506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway65734,2019/02/19,"I Don't Remember Anything I Did Today at School So a little bit of a backstory, I've been thinking about killing myself for the past month and a half and I've even tried on three separate occasions, all like a week apart. I don't know if I have depression, or any mental illness for that fact. I'm just really sad all the time and now it's gotten to the point where I have completely given up. I barely eat, I barely sleep, or I sleep too much, I ditch class constantly and I haven't done barely any of my school work this semester, so now I have all F's. I'm always crying and worrying and it seems like everything triggers me lately. About a month ago, I took 30 pills (all random) and went to sleep. This was my second suicide attempt using this method. The first time I took 50 pills, and just felt really sick the next day and nothing really happened. So I woke up late after I took the 30 pills (about 1 pm) and all I remember is watching some of this show I watch and then going back to sleep. And that's all I remember of that morning (or should I say afternoon). It was really weird and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened to me that morning (afternoon). So today I woke up and instantly felt sad and I just started crying in my room alone. Then I got ready for school and then my mom dropped me off at school. I remember walking inside and then everything after that is completely blank. I woke up (started remembering again?) to someone shaking me asking me if I was okay. I was outside my school on the bleachers asleep (or something like that, maybe I was passed out?) I hopped up and went inside, as I was absolutely freezing from the winter wind, and I was just wondering how the hell I got there and what I was doing. I checked the time on my phone (which was now at a low percentage, even though I left home with it fully charged) and saw that it was 7th period (last period). What the hell was I doing the entire day??? Now, I don't have a class during 7th, but I do 6th, so I shouldn't have been out there at the beginning of 7th period, I should've still been inside, if we're thinking about accurate timing. And it was freezing and I wasn't wearing a jacket. I wouldn't have even gone outside in the first place, especially not with a jacket on. So I've been trying to find out what I was doing, and I've found out a couple things: I was absent in all my classes, I ate all my food at some point that day, my classmates said they hadn't seen me at all, even at lunch, I texted my sister at around 12:00, and I had been using my phone quite a bit because of how low my battery was. I am also sure I had been on Instagram that day because I had been sending posts to people and also liking peoples posts. The inside of my backpack was also organized, with all my trash gone. I am so freaked out. What is wrong with me? Is this normal for other girls my age (I'm 14 and a female, btw) and also how can I get my memory back? ",3.2165415746872696,4.3850067615894055,4.511885209713025,86.62104709345108,73.27152317880795,7.6867696835908745,24.18381162619573,8.167268648758528,1.260503502575422,2300,65,485,35,45,761,240,604,0.092,0.8809999999999999,0.027000000000000003,-0.9841,0,1,2,0,0,2,78.0,0,0,1,5,41,19,4,1,28,1,54,15,6,6,12,92,94,56,2,7,13,2,4,4,0,3,5,2,2,1,28,39,4,0,15,1,1,12,9,13,0,5,51,10,76,6,60,40,15,101,3,5,4,0,10,39,3,12,51,341,104,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057423552916303924,0.0,0.0,0.06709253346381265,0.0,0.20721813977388528,0.05390214145560107,0.0,0.0,0.08810522978749474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533084125119835,0.0576679256393001,0.060560546397267885,0.0,0.0,0.09962362802285092,0.0,0.07897856180146329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144594336091013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358411749524551,0.07000415614291901,0.0,0.0,0.07167782727702185,0.14231555530934753,0.16711093885293013,0.0,0.05579491083534982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629242134341247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628610255346644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114629090069033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644015672334793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439789934607498,0.0,0.05920773766564635,0.11020365353582456,0.07833222156639016,0.07102791586961747,0.0,0.0,0.033844871304801426,0.0,0.03681596141752096,0.0,0.103620952225169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456946319822732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497961224007312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166946145805446,0.0,0.03560138859788392,0.05280433827158256,0.1461493016483555,0.0,0.07038364914720162,0.0,0.0,0.1265929246439241,0.06492656872618556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508020741065856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528299393830174,0.0,0.0,0.07586954185947803,0.10341354065006307,0.0,0.047620746648168316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889425473655827,0.0,0.06347063652829167,0.06215814794474775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183983087529241,0.08982057760706133,0.0,0.06768130228248244,0.0,0.12247605940165375,0.0,0.12408264797961635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890149375022564,0.0,0.0,0.16599888262675494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36691550527066735,0.0,0.06162060536862195,0.05151564846932687,0.0,0.3278040437750688,0.0,0.05897327032228294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593070950622658,0.0,0.05488787567334813,0.049870801497929315,0.0,0.0,0.09170322129598024,0.0,0.10346676807617576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085879531383726,0.0,0.061054374341717524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04303694717449421,0.08301680433389699,0.06364601169268583,0.0,0.15109493346928352,0.0,0.12280771280663813,0.0,0.21591885880211106,0.13194408369761812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189822525600493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05196260085512835,0.0,0.0,0.12010340026536448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025113629326196,0.04716060455988197,0.06578722477845743,0.0,0.0,0.07082675020326065,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,halp_preeze,2019/02/19,"Dealing mentally with being attacked? Throw-away account.

I was recently attacked on the street by some huge drunk douche bag who was way bigger than me and who threw me in front of traffic at a busy intersection. It was a random attack. Luckily he threw me in front of a red light. The way he attacked me was by running at me and pushing me full force. Witnesses confirmed that I literally flew through the air for several feet. He was arrested and spent the weekend in jail.

I'm physically fine - little back soreness but that's about it. But what's concerning me is that what happened seems to have gotten into my head. I hate to admit it, but I feel weak and embarrassed about what happened. I'm ashamed that I couldn't defend myself, and I'm ashamed that someone's drunken actions could have easily cost me my life or serious bodily harm. I'm horrified to imagine what if I had been with my girlfriend and I hadn't been able to protect her. How do I keep from letting this fucking douche bag's actions chip at me? How do I deal with getting humiliated and shat on in public?

If you wanna tell me to stop being such a weak shithead, tell me that too, I probably need to hear it anyway.",4.145011921793035,5.760947738197428,5.1579041487839765,81.1384489747258,71.61802575107295,8.096232713400099,30.97019551740582,8.680891452615391,2.540942012398665,945,42,178,17,18,310,133,233,0.247,0.7,0.053,-0.9943,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,9,14,6,3,8,0,19,8,2,2,0,31,39,15,0,6,6,0,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,17,11,1,3,4,2,3,9,2,13,0,0,14,4,27,1,30,20,2,32,0,0,1,1,15,17,1,6,4,122,44,0,0.13864839203207624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6309302474729828,0.1302647283401078,0.10661205521817754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069945911527307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28588080830921275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010479292947408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281782042832299,0.0724380623354123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24521263036123725,0.0,0.0,0.136886582666413,0.14229325028697987,0.0,0.1562668144783506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323706134691305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417773745687579,0.09793145961234033,0.0,0.1389621130556536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972496871850024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280602588438817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948641681989586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689856046502935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622028883657227,0.0,0.15663321830048207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747633263773995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591626400284465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423696116225745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22010528008725355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Del-F508,2019/02/19,"Facial twitches Hello,
I don't know how common this is, it only happens when I'm getting into a confrontational situation, (at work, usually, disagreements, uncomfortable, awkward, etc...)  it's when my face will start to twitch. It's absolutely awful, embarrassing, awkward. It's ruining my life at work, clearly i can't handle adult conversations. The situations aren't even that serious. When it happens, i freeze, can't talk, face twitches, heart pounding. Wtf do i do? I have enough. Any advice?",4.448372093023256,7.696736627906978,5.875627906976748,68.25483720930234,78.06976744186046,8.556279069767443,31.85581395348837,9.120678840339163,3.8488502325581413,394,20,58,11,10,132,60,86,0.265,0.677,0.058,-0.9546,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,1,3,2,1,9,8,4,1,1,4,15,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,0,1,7,0,4,14,2,9,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,36,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21914555214378653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250537792660626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317218773141672,0.2501106363309385,0.14812247716452406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716727603265828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966270634793582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657507266868705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324814851349225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584023922057729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056082836571762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5041582069222766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158733306235763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18025274242124598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469921445104729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32652980255539216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hydraxe04,2019/02/19,"I broke down last night I'll start off with my history with mental health and things that may affect it as best I can.

In 5th grade i had pretty bad anxiety. Due to anxiety and migraines (used to get severe migraines weekly) I missed probably 1/3 of school days but still managed A's and B's. this lasted to 7th grade where i was going more consistently at the beginning only missing a couple days (3ish)  a month but my grades were mainly B's and I was only getting more anxiety and slowly began going back to missing lots of school so at the semester I switched to online.

After I went online and it went better though anxiety was still an issue(though not big). The summer I spent more time in my thoughts and with a therapist I realised a lot of my stress, guilt, and shame was from the church I was raised in, the Mormon church. Growing up I always had issues with it and never fully believed but I think it was that summer i did my research and made the decision I didn't believe though no one really knew until probably November. The decision to stop taking the church seriously and trying to follow its guidelines helped a LOT. I was much happier possible the happiest since before 5th grade.

Now this 8th grade year in still online (though I plan going to high school brick and mortar style next year). In late November/early December I slowly became more reserved and didnt try to get my friends together much and began procratinating or losing focus easily. when I brought up my loss of focus and distractedness to my parents i was just told to push through it but I can't I'm struggling to catch up in my LA and creativity though I'm all caught up on math and physics.

 I didn't realise until last night that I wasnt happy anymore. I broke down in tears last night and cried for maybe 2 hours before I slept. I've been crying on and off this morning/noon time.

I keep finding myself (before i realised i wasnt happy) not enjoying or playing video games as much, drawing as much, and going out to hang with friends. I still will try to play games to take my mind off things and reading later in the day just not enjoying those activities.

I plan on talking to my mom tonight and seeing my options possibly a therapist or counselor whatever the term is. I'm not excited about talking about it to anyone but I'll do it I think. Is there anything I should do other than what i have planned or if i don't end up getting a therapist.",4.982870211549457,6.103116865828094,5.7063922241280745,79.89571183533452,69.020964360587,8.632971221650468,29.339241471316942,8.927757054556999,2.376810482180294,1943,71,361,34,33,633,233,477,0.129,0.769,0.102,-0.7591,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,7,19,24,0,4,20,0,29,4,1,3,2,65,65,43,0,2,16,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,19,28,0,2,7,6,1,13,13,13,0,1,30,1,47,11,62,32,15,82,4,7,1,0,10,27,0,10,42,246,66,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582348765337072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415976998581854,0.0,0.06940840042342139,0.04893660994062906,0.0,0.057593422765965185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053815762426891886,0.058436307930530715,0.0,0.0,0.1786616104607757,0.15770299803073753,0.07344714710033318,0.06189790546778379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743939867620997,0.15375509336845908,0.13540767530843215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06198780029159565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396694453483084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814372486898552,0.0,0.14626149154818155,0.0,0.1591011347395198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900514583312646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743930181121488,0.0,0.0,0.046910880107905235,0.07394521724351041,0.0,0.0,0.0689231989672793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304835267277646,0.0,0.06220775316695134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281953211244957,0.07894850099777546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829766663629541,0.0,0.17850159750644273,0.0,0.06622348940321424,0.0,0.0,0.07031145221696825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053053903023941,0.0,0.07066702329883713,0.08196804957173967,0.05586303817474906,0.0,0.20579429511410371,0.0,0.0539783686683873,0.0,0.07443207839469511,0.1970344663010516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047425072507623636,0.10645669166837106,0.0,0.0,0.07771239585029888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779988653388485,0.0,0.07120204492056761,0.15091586926382056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000604284997368,0.0,0.044835530525559116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21249205505738697,0.055770660105831565,0.0,0.0,0.0790655057438666,0.0,0.05789405511446308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953723196984148,0.0,0.2235671645521128,0.05851235221217607,0.08016999042093978,0.07316571624637716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524318342721048,0.1125059652100861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437812637201767,0.09299264323881218,0.08968981973730213,0.34380986846685874,0.055561942421304834,0.08162008556469058,0.0,0.0,0.06687567647838978,0.0,0.14254994729315135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060446386322999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05613943274705028,0.0,0.0,0.12975749194478686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013879987482884
mentalhealth,kotame,2019/02/19,"What are ways that i can cope with/overcome becoming selectively mute as an adult? I posted this in a different community, but only got one helpful comment, so I thought this might be a better place to ask. I have looked online, but only found things on early intervention with children and support groups for people that have been dealing with it since childhood. Those topics have been slightly helpful, but a lot of the advice doesn't apply to me as an adult. I want to add that I have only faced this struggle for 3 years.",8.451818181818183,7.6497113535353565,7.984525252525255,73.08345454545456,61.72727272727274,9.940202020202019,35.961616161616156,8.841846274778883,3.097782222222221,420,16,73,5,5,133,71,99,0.034,0.804,0.161,0.9155,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,6,0,11,1,1,0,0,12,18,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,10,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,1,7,2,12,11,1,8,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,2,3,53,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19215592483382785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383337923052676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21717523080878512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391354167991546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20272888585886584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20544865014416086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156073974029138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727227493688167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636094789066471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512944360463505,0.0,0.0,0.16717768171776404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20860569423993533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332494575041866,0.44866446151096345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632654664001498,0.0,0.20544865014416086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883283246185658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16266398824123235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20557252698280634,0.0,0.0,0.2231465912323883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063996118783142,0.0,0.0,0.15611148900884828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598432808790556,0.15608497285161954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266307624671381
mentalhealth,Travelling_Penguin,2019/02/19,"I found this video today about depression This is something I've struggled with a lot!!! Depression... Sometimes I feel totally alone. But it feels good to know I'm not alone in this. So many people are depressed, and many successfully recovered.
Yesterday this video reminded me I wasn't alone. It's pretty vulnerable and real.

If anyone had a similar video, please share because things like that inspire me.

https://youtu.be/nPY4uWu50XU",5.189315068493149,8.820485808219178,4.5528904109589075,75.42276027397261,81.32876712328766,8.399452054794521,29.217808219178075,8.841846274778883,3.509669589041096,356,16,52,10,10,107,56,73,0.245,0.565,0.19,-0.5971,0,3,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,2,9,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,14,9,5,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,2,5,5,4,6,2,3,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,3,31,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5367109728420201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078187551034955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529900161689854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44633492473832503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468224989996306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939743792248215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488377861150806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493185467104708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439067686670322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685500115747324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502568431461597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975423369258513,0.0,0.0,0.18961358761207792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757358455379708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19661276512299247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329815455684631,0.1708415203104893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18058244005902405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475892866991864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373468007560255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,little_tor23,2019/02/19,"how far i'll go-allesia cara This song was popular like 2 years ago but it's still my favorite song in the world. It's the only song i've actually been able to interpret the lyrics. my depression and panic disorder have been the highest it's ever been since 2017. I listen to this song on repeat. It reminds me of how often I used to cut, have suicidal thoughts, and panic attacks. This song was also popular around the time my best friend's sister killed herself. I wasnt close to her, but I was always at their house. Their mom was a second mom to me. I honestly don't know what to do. I've been on tons of antidepressants and nothing helps the panic attacks. I hate to say it, but benzodiazepines are the only thing that helps, and every time I bring it up to a doctor, they assume I'm faking it like some sort of crackhead who just wants free xanax. I am so scared of depression and panic attacks, but I'm currently going though the nightmare. I dont know what to do besides impatiently hope it will end soon. ",4.372478991596637,5.284581205882354,5.4212885154061645,82.14794117647061,70.27450980392156,8.377591036414566,27.31652661064425,8.634040054169528,1.882764425770308,802,26,160,13,14,265,115,204,0.306,0.57,0.123,-0.995,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,1,11,23,6,5,10,0,18,2,0,3,1,26,30,14,2,2,5,3,0,2,1,1,2,7,0,0,16,7,0,0,5,5,1,2,3,14,0,1,10,7,19,10,19,19,3,21,0,2,0,0,14,9,0,5,12,105,35,1,0.1141107682410689,0.0,0.11135564912707127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115231099593258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125434013529776,0.09494930039962164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015827766223187,0.0,0.3894524173187683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197522111940638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196566874955772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078082649759687,0.1167972065819971,0.0,0.0,0.13373697052587669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106827079115968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032197228388197,0.09614324380017884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816169647905042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970355855017104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266075921273752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529720852004554,0.0,0.0,0.1133377404053022,0.0,0.1316685057451785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262466581418687,0.0,0.12542458794177974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149751481008742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672903052332698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949235971174397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735727625509674,0.0,0.535537599969535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074546297616816,0.11424478579378075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943936066771544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112900692020608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124818659528595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758101239617648,0.0,0.11211325042483453,0.09059120368690708,0.13307781323171428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855506587589308,0.0,0.0,0.06730548761664153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348359347875193
mentalhealth,lady_in_the_six,2019/02/19,"Not taking things personally vs. Standing up for yourself I've been running this over and over in my mind and I can't seem to figure out which is the better route. The toltec wisdom (The 4 Agreements) book says never take anything personally - but by this definition, it would mean that we would never stand up for ourselves, or ask why someone did something against us, because we wouldn't take it personally. Something about this is very freeing, but it is so completely opposite to who I am as a person, I am always extremely socially aware, highly empathic/sensitive, and constantly making sure my behavior never offends anyone or is taken the wrong way...But man would it be refreshing to have this mindset.

On the flip side of the coin, there is a lot of talk out there of having self respect, and standing up for yourself. So which is it? Do we constantly give people the benefit of the doubt or never take insults/behavior personally, or do we confront people when they say/do hurtful things, and take on a reaction that there may have been ill-intent from that person?

I'm a highly sensitive person, and I am generally good at giving people I don't know or people I don't know very well, the benefit of the doubt - I don't take anything done in public personally, and most office antics I can brush off my shoulder. So this question is geared towards relationships with in-laws, friends, etc who I have to interact with on a daily basis.

I also realize that some people are not as socially aware as others - but to what extent does this mean they ""get away"" with negative behavior? Where's the line between giving someone the benefit of the doubt/not taking things personally, and having self respect and not letting someone treat you poorly even if they're not aware of it?

Important note: My sister was diagnosed with Borderline personality Disorder and I see the tendency to demonize people in my own thinking (to a far lesser extent), and actively have to manage those thoughts on a daily basis. It is exhausting to say the least, and I do have a few close friends and family that I have an excellent relationship with, and rarely demonize.",8.027575757575757,8.094204989898994,8.325454545454544,67.43318181818182,62.232323232323246,11.543434343434345,36.93939393939394,11.115808304768276,4.380054545454545,1720,75,280,43,22,567,194,396,0.081,0.769,0.151,0.985,0,0,2,0,0,0,52.0,5,1,2,2,12,23,2,2,24,0,40,3,1,1,5,68,63,31,0,5,14,1,0,0,2,5,2,2,0,13,28,26,0,0,10,1,3,1,14,7,1,0,7,4,26,17,50,49,9,35,2,1,1,0,40,24,0,14,7,218,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317016765089213,0.055323069709317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04648972650463229,0.0,0.10942737864775627,0.0,0.06215699858103192,0.0,0.06246735692351794,0.0,0.0,0.0405302680198982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880294323407441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971105960122559,0.14369910751789566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748358799995986,0.0,0.0,0.0762006328695127,0.0,0.058183810228791065,0.06803997296103577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415133002370221,0.043914480604583035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267866035100376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273642163711168,0.0,0.03473706468676537,0.19134310155943904,0.0,0.05576670517945005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049575277679027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117642850716434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307977197052726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798814977560616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652544151016579,0.0,0.0,0.04438103765726644,0.0,0.0,0.14484913369229802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713359568726156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20511756736758385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27656508306147554,0.5805447104950614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448140958222374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427657558264836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862099729767362,0.0,0.0,0.05298206676859128,0.06052787991203331,0.13872228561224714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355516181810901,0.16900436736307595,0.10237091711846116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266384445129664,0.0,0.3499331864181721,0.05344027262107221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325143657180245,0.0426026158625992,0.0,0.052783785194078864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997648356716283,0.0,0.0,0.10971858587602216,0.0,0.05277481965825431,0.0,0.0,0.059780402396708815,0.0,0.059994782905975576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416928046890998,0.07269383243348318,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ionlycamefor50,2019/02/19,"Full Moon makes me feel ""Bipolar"". I had severe anxiety problems almost all my life, with therapy and autogenic training plus some advices from a dear friend of mine who is very experienced in Healthcare for people with mental struggles I was able to calm my anxiety and mostly get it under control. However 2-3 days before full moon, and a couple of days later it's almost impossible for me to control my anxiety, it's even worst because I have moments of joy and then suddenly moments of panic and just pure sadness, it gets better after a while and It kicks in again, it becomes a cycle that lasts for a couple of hours usually until I go to bed, is there something I could immediately do to counter this? Or is it something I will eventually be able to control?",8.774108374384237,7.547320144827591,9.252709359605912,65.6196551724138,61.3448275862069,11.596059113300493,40.714285714285715,10.608840637214634,4.506083743842365,611,29,101,12,7,206,95,145,0.152,0.753,0.095,-0.7757,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,4,10,0,2,5,0,10,2,0,4,2,24,15,11,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,10,9,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,2,12,5,22,10,6,20,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,5,14,78,22,0,0.27507821651490943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440162477136544,0.0,0.0,0.2754510988736313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156511240675761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384256380189567,0.15190113917142425,0.1170356508931038,0.0,0.0,0.12164216425664084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627854152954752,0.10981378628448003,0.3043688145024498,0.0,0.1774026929990499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084328384182523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954390572277733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626237385919993,0.0,0.1437170146943439,0.0,0.07816664481270512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544831649003955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211273033006826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714793967690652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180842277052978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860707158000998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161372509083761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535229987694753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316063515400804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538004338023287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117686501789068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437857388927129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728795694454115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147989636673384,0.113484168573076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mahmahsaysimawhore,2019/02/19,"Need more structure in my life/positivity? (16 m) So lately I’ve just been in a rut/funk and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve been trying to get out of this for a few weeks now, and I need to figure out what needs to change in my life to get back to being my usual bubbly self. I haven’t been able to decide if I need more structure in my life, such as routines etc. and/or if I need to be more positive and change my mindset. I don’t consider myself a negative person, but I’m definitely not positive. I’d call myself a realist. Anyways, does anyone have any tips or anything I should/could change in my life? My sleep schedule hasn’t been too bad recently so I don’t think it’s that. Every day just feels the same other than weekends, and time goes by so fast. Every day seems like a blur of tasks, and I rarely feel productive even if I am. I do have severe anxiety and depression if that helps? (I’m on meds that work quite well though.) anyone have any tips? 

Thanks ",1.0709381663112971,3.223248119402985,2.9368869936034123,91.05432835820898,82.73134328358209,6.216631130063965,19.52167732764748,7.447530270364453,0.4867856432125088,756,20,165,12,21,252,117,201,0.094,0.779,0.127,0.8270000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,13,6,0,0,6,0,15,4,1,0,1,32,30,17,0,9,10,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,7,8,0,0,6,1,0,0,7,2,1,0,4,2,19,4,21,24,6,20,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,7,13,102,26,1,0.12054272742929037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16394637647634627,0.0,0.09221485654345307,0.0,0.0,0.16857255555314998,0.0,0.09919639376829012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268991673461374,0.10064814233036902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308760219019213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3825546666747788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096243559201286,0.0,0.0,0.1554801738817257,0.0,0.10382327450185902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548775309647736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443700511461387,0.07961733460150794,0.0,0.20312489364876105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190004978390792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259571997284099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079724926421174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359774470118756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340571573021109,0.058891087773600886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389579576126745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44690452498732797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525326004151138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282120285186571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190214009534312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973757178340204,0.12575235410075164,0.13617897087186875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062978194541853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361009403752464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097954799070184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723891243468521,0.1184326176704216,0.0,0.07028943374295471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081840599292047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276078411510756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966921049185453,0.0,0.10838238855852103,0.0,0.10877106228307264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775654122547807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jamieluke97,2019/02/19,"Anxiety and being quiet at work I'm quiet, awkwardly quiet at work. I work as a labourer on a construction site and you know people who work there are the ultimate lads and extroverted af. I can't hold a conversation or join in on banter it's stressing me out I feel like people avoid me please someone help!",1.9987822014051524,4.612511360655741,4.251194379391105,80.10475409836069,82.9344262295082,7.420140515222482,23.46838407494145,8.418075326091056,1.986618735362998,247,9,45,6,7,85,45,61,0.139,0.7020000000000001,0.159,0.3164,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,4,1,4,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,6,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,6,1,7,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,1,27,8,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19137619057551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649137044211764,0.17871853328111412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768089603738115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374846088006018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221839798285612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468670032518035,0.0,0.0,0.2746069799906252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119647129520917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865641360419944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7284948732702677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wanna-be-anon,2019/02/19,"Why am i always sad I just feel nothing or sad. Its being going on for a while. I dont want to talk to anyone, do anything, or go anywhere. 

But i have no reason to be sad. Me and my girlfriend arnt having any problems, family is good, we have more then enough money. I have some friends left.

There is no logical reason for me to be sad, what is wrong with me. 

Btw i cant see a doctor for lack of transport, and i dont want to worry my gf any more (she knows about it but thinks its better then it is)",-0.012060050041704072,1.7658304128440392,2.347939949958299,95.8781901584654,84.3211009174312,4.6975813177648025,17.248540450375312,5.565023196281405,-0.6112275229357795,381,8,90,2,11,130,69,109,0.173,0.741,0.086,-0.5602,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,2,0,16,1,0,2,0,20,24,9,0,4,5,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,0,1,3,5,6,0,0,0,2,14,3,12,21,5,8,0,4,1,0,6,2,0,3,3,67,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317710176493926,0.0,0.0,0.2503741666794219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871956681436594,0.0,0.15148986492496674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16281208666060054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18842326929396205,0.0,0.0,0.4315027379403109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902135279512793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735430731794492,0.0,0.09308111602951293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422269895249803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092444610302097,0.15440542831862042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117070262826357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20001363761937133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766387140869968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614866393549272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37854906191848137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669539264128273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796406129729808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795703419434385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171613583797241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661120218896023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18695168972132886,0.0,0.0,0.2012728257281037,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KeithR420,2019/02/19,"Mob Movies , Bloodletters and Personality Crisis. Hey Reddit.

I am going to keep it short and cut the crap.

i am a 16 year old whose had some past issues due to me being weak shy and existential (not depressed) . i Guess its a thing for many people at this age. hard times create strong men was a principle i always kept in my mind and that was what i wanted too . 

Eventually i was introduced to mob movies and i binged them whenever i can . Godfather to Sopranos.I grew to see that these mobsters had some things i wished i had in my character. this wish eventually became a habit and i ended up emulating them. i read about mafiasos and so forth and now i can't stop thinking about mafiasos. I need your help i dont know what to do its giving me an incredible amount of stress and driving me weak.

Help.",2.027248696947133,4.497944234177218,3.792933730454209,84.42298957557708,81.34177215189874,7.515115413253909,21.319434102755025,8.4952907291091,1.4472676098287414,631,19,127,15,17,211,104,158,0.13,0.7559999999999999,0.114,-0.3792,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,2,1,5,7,2,1,6,0,13,3,1,0,0,23,25,10,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,13,9,0,3,2,1,0,3,3,6,0,0,7,2,23,1,14,17,3,17,0,1,1,0,12,5,1,3,9,84,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478706943580606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602224049808782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21801902337140036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476226136333302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17845140133378806,0.10572186229323947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049266724742725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666411797944892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493762531583359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194160975524481,0.0,0.16534689145129378,0.0,0.0,0.10223405712833976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859938129238632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878314524432374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793461655656905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19520114681171905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775811857767618,0.12896578510039616,0.16242919072665893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860745803981028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823723431929015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552459391712006,0.21309013794802564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471724777795943,0.1191968214041557,0.0,0.0,0.10847223007629801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972191623614523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42783738992068615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979351125617604
mentalhealth,Bleumoon_Selene,2019/02/19,"I shoukd tell my doctor my meds arebt helping...again. But I feel bad. I live in the US, where healthcare is stupidly expensive. So I go to a free clinic. I don't like the doctor but he's pretty much the only option. 

I told him I was depressed and have anxiety. He prescribed me generic Zoloft and counseling. Well the Zoloft didn't help after a while. So I told him. 

Then he put me on Welbutrin and in my last appointment with him I told him it was working. But now, two months later, I no longer feel like it is. 

I feel bad for having to tell him this because I know he's going to just give me that look! That look doctors give when they think you're full of BS, or faking it, or are annoyed. 

And when you're poor doctors don't always trust their patients, especially with pain and mental illness meds because you might be an addict or trying to sell the pills.

I don't know what to do...
I really don't want to face my doctor to tell him my meds aren't working again. ",1.90580555555556,3.7327783250000017,3.1983333333333337,91.92222222222223,78.25,5.644444444444447,21.61111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.2764277777777777,755,21,162,6,18,245,111,200,0.237,0.72,0.043,-0.9909,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,1,2,2,9,12,2,0,8,0,16,13,1,0,0,23,32,17,0,1,7,0,3,2,0,1,12,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,6,0,4,3,7,7,1,1,6,5,32,6,15,24,2,18,0,1,2,0,23,5,0,5,12,104,39,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583770988232114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841578305303938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128764448738478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744321725884835,0.12954868206546233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915204961930015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5438016096428253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118283345958825,0.07591126436875119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038661296883401,0.12077858020768326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122299290953185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679404808991567,0.08661505444501055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038253050724007,0.0,0.09382841328196848,0.0,0.17846115761524384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35408851411275505,0.0,0.10708381658372848,0.11272373014325808,0.0,0.0,0.08481471169743796,0.0,0.07811239944773456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081455920703237,0.11306679008766295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810333826303917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068193815495247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680720691100159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786244642725569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808630940746922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30460433618071325,0.0,0.07214270877005169,0.0,0.1037993479983994,0.0,0.12781617971622378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267415732760595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553936751706787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471525504608385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,encounterbouncer,2019/02/19,"Can depression be self-loving instead of self-loathing? I’m not sure what I’m looking for. Just general support, input and opinions I guess. Maybe ideas on where to turn and what to do. I’m sure I’ll appreciate anyone’s input. 

I’ve been suffering from incredibly deep depression for a solid five months straight at this point (and more in years prior, but not as bad as it is now). I haven’t experienced an authentic positive emotion for the entire duration. When I look around the internet most people’s depressive, even suicidal, thoughts revolve around self hate. They hate themselves and think they don’t deserve to be happy or that they deserve to die. While I have a great deal of sympathy for these people I just don’t understand it. 

My current form of depression feels like it comes from a place of loving myself and knowing that I deserve to be happy, but feeling like things that make me happy are outside of my control. When I think about suicide, I don’t view it as a punishment for myself, it seems more like it would be something to do as an act of love for myself like an act of mercy akin to making the decision to let a suffering family member go instead of prolonging the inevitable. 

Again, I don’t know what I’m looking for. Is this kind of depression normal? Is it more dangerous? Is it harder or easier to get out of? Etc. literally any help is appreciated, I just don’t really know what I’m looking for specifically, I just feel like I’m running out of places to run for help ",5.2284482758620685,6.387735120689657,6.178103448275862,76.59474137931036,68.48275862068965,9.662068965517244,31.74137931034483,9.888512548439397,3.184468965517242,1195,50,219,28,20,396,148,290,0.175,0.586,0.238,0.9689,1,0,1,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,3,1,15,27,4,0,12,0,23,2,0,3,2,44,56,16,3,2,10,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,19,10,0,1,13,0,0,6,8,12,0,1,2,9,20,15,44,48,6,28,0,7,5,2,9,13,0,6,14,149,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061439634629950585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317331583913885,0.0,0.0,0.16085747870774633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543667903942136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782667089176551,0.0,0.0,0.10133279368544572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314466386992992,0.3890823443968955,0.0,0.09376680187928063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162916823129237,0.0,0.0,0.10076173261662018,0.05967390134826098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517191010649483,0.0,0.1370477594149814,0.19363356145561286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0472030214796589,0.0,0.051346763943492885,0.0,0.0,0.09960882110068356,0.0995283402034322,0.0,0.0,0.2885308918249529,0.0,0.1783995897615562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111651579233113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199172293232144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408338033059796,0.14895844296975005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238679557869807,0.0,0.2206969738237807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034777496935497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308492002035305,0.0,0.12061577987178927,0.0,0.0907665566413356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211479010558386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885217081309316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527164355031842,0.0,0.18878854267991133,0.0,0.0854079191292431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057879144757735285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224928736406624,0.28275752801115656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955418719469626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765176277962732,0.10252566695666313,0.17030355456369412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060023095481778324,0.1157825055044502,0.0,0.07172609916125337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827251431480008,0.0,0.09405529579609913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418051883546078,0.0,0.0,0.058181051780681364
mentalhealth,Awscor,2019/02/19,"Why does everything piss me off Hey everyone. Most days everything will just piss me off or irritate me. It can be something insanely simple like someone just looking in my direction or my mom asking a question. I usually am able to keep it in check and not lash out at anyone but every now and then I'll use a tone or say something that makes me seem like a huge asshole. The only people I can tolerate all the time are my 3 friends.

Every now and then I'll also just feel really sad and that usually only lasts a few hours to 2 days at most until i get mad at myself for being sad then just want to break or something or I start hitting stuff in order to hurt myself. I've had suicidal thoughts before and had a knife in my hand wanting to slit my wrists a few times, once while at work, during these periods. 

Then on even rarer occasions I'll feel genuinely happy and it honestly scares the shit out of me once I realize it. Like I'm so used to being angry or sad constantly that I'd rather just feel like that all the time now because I know them more than being happy.

Should I see a professional or can I just get over this? I haven't really told anyone how I feel besides one of my friends. Most people notice when I'm in an especially bad mood and some ask what's wrong but I'll just say I'm tired.",4.107555555555557,4.744362274074074,5.468888888888892,82.57000000000002,70.7037037037037,8.962962962962962,26.85185185185185,9.150863307647796,2.0117407407407413,1034,32,214,20,18,348,149,270,0.192,0.674,0.135,-0.9681,0,0,3,0,0,2,14.0,0,0,1,1,16,21,4,1,12,0,14,6,5,4,2,50,39,26,1,4,18,1,5,4,2,2,1,2,0,0,12,9,0,1,9,0,1,0,2,11,0,1,4,9,24,9,26,28,9,40,0,4,2,0,11,16,3,13,26,136,36,2,0.1060276475449278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847902714349448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482739928580225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198243075548352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852865692221809,0.06463346983034328,0.0,0.09022171875549186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457821998420245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675812243609484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278550887427443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700302612328652,0.0,0.17866573198308594,0.1013139609441929,0.19058162582240165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144430574922728,0.07574617259142212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638333949605193,0.0,0.11079013942490933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22573680477534105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441587518858554,0.0,0.11350478961281113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424224481406324,0.0,0.0,0.05827002222815925,0.08642668407072306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20719901170842525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890365201923433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077427805441551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241782993502342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071317947641655,0.0,0.22583196853454665,0.07184707799352923,0.16127760749339975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701244136361175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877523081739025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358480520207229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863488193177598,0.10615217186513698,0.0,0.08449030764750365,0.0965235882049534,0.0,0.0,0.10883585654663194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983688169209611,0.24487578936681004,0.0,0.0,0.0750469146536069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137628954651662,0.1159770374305934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417410874751441,0.1854767218056076,0.12186318355585235,0.0,0.1013139609441929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831476897321509,0.2335489485950441,0.0,0.1250757072072434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567346036368764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718939019589505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592458809142032,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,headless_catman,2019/02/19,"Just need to talk My mind is a mess so I’m sorry if this is all over the place. 

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We’ve been through a lot (his mom was diagnosed with cancer almost right when we started dating, I have borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression and ptsd). It’s been a struggle. He’s a good guy and he just doesn’t understand mental health. It’s caused some arguments and issues and we’ve decided to take a step back and take care of our shit and still be together. Sometimes I feel, because of my mental health, his family doesn’t want me around. And I’m not sure if that’s my paranoia or if it’s real. This weekend was a hard one; haven’t had one like this is a couple months. I was doing really well and then this weekend hit and I have been having trouble recuperating. 

Friday was tough but I made it through and got myself through the day. 


Saturday I was feeling good and they had a family get together and I didn’t even get an invite. I shrugged it off that night because I didn’t wanna let my negativity ruin his evening with his family; but it still irked me. When I asked him about it he said “well you worked Sunday so I didn’t think you’d come.” Which has never stopped either of us before so it made me feel left out and kind of validated my feelings of his family not wanting me around. I also brought it up to him on Yesterday when I was in a better frame of mind to talk about it. 

Sunday was a shit show and I’m proud of trying. I cried the entire time from when I woke up to when I left work early and went back to bed. I slept pretty much from 1pm till 11am Monday- weird part I had gotten close to 8 hours of sleep the night before. I couldn’t function well and I left early and I still tried. 

Monday was good and then I didn’t sleep. I’ve been up since 11am Monday (outside of a 2 hour power nap this morning). Monday I went to work, good mood, went to my boyfriends, brought that up- his response made me a bit sour (how he said it) but I tried to let it go. I haven’t seen him in almost a week at this point and during the day he went out with friends (cool I’m working.) but when I came over for our planned get together he spent the time cleaning, we watched our show, and then it was midnight and I was tired. I went up to bed (he wanted to finish the laundry). When he finished he came up and turned on the tv and started watching a movie. I was almost asleep and he kept it on for 2 hours. So 2 hours of fuming later I can’t sleep. By 6am I sneak out and go home. I get a message at 9:30 asking why I left. So I called him and we calmly spoke (surprisingly because I was feeling so emotional). I explained my side and like every other time I have a mood and try to do what I need to do to control or be effective I feel like he is blaming me. He doesn’t understand mental health and I can get that because it’s not something you see. But he gets annoyed and says things like “I can’t keep doing this with you.” “Why do you have to keep tripping? Like, just f*cking chill.” 

I left because I knew when he got up I would have been in a mood to start an argument. I left because I needed sleep and wasn’t calming down until I could cry and let it out a bit (which would have woken him and his sick mom). I left because I didn’t want my drama and negativity to ruin his day as well. I don’t understand why I feel like he’s blaming me. I feel like I’m going crazy. I feel like I’m not good enough. I feel pathetic. I feel stuck. I’m trying medication, I’m seeing help, I’m doing everything i can and I keep feeling like this. I need something to get me to go forward but every time I do I keep slipping and idk if I’m causing issues because I’m f*cked or if I’m just in a toxic relationship... my mind was going 1000000 miles a minute and I couldn’t shut it off. ",1.0938207980729615,2.99077626946848,2.9679789864029646,92.25694835345949,81.11372064276884,5.8298057113879125,21.373030965738014,6.900799576094004,0.39513443630946776,2978,89,669,34,78,995,297,809,0.122,0.752,0.126,0.2637,1,0,2,0,0,0,84.0,7,5,1,10,35,43,4,1,31,1,69,16,8,8,3,137,161,74,0,19,23,2,13,9,1,2,8,4,4,2,34,55,0,7,20,7,1,18,23,12,4,2,54,24,107,28,77,95,9,115,0,3,5,0,59,43,2,13,65,419,141,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310102520260757,0.0,0.0,0.03487567467294365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0333622705006113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764601364935908,0.08154073447320856,0.0,0.0,0.06706828358665093,0.0,0.21267872633393356,0.0,0.07421944188879105,0.0,0.0,0.03857035643574358,0.09522376197075393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0445316734576905,0.09975865664876384,0.04446428752712737,0.08960095291186604,0.0,0.037566986620033334,0.0,0.0,0.04891340797354489,0.03481980861187886,0.048254705656650236,0.0958091992001104,0.08437639789766313,0.0,0.037562062101761814,0.04426421365271123,0.0,0.0,0.04998194662989654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04905646816705905,0.0,0.04506178701139716,0.0,0.05760926499433501,0.0,0.0734882414974487,0.0,0.03919472522223496,0.0,0.16445015420603906,0.0,0.26461218424250443,0.15577841822607674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03369372503772949,0.0,0.15949451251388164,0.0,0.1239255882298892,0.18289405068180453,0.06975934873363955,0.0,0.0,0.04318171398411776,0.0,0.0,0.03906686049868298,0.0,0.0,0.13906925621625768,0.0,0.0,0.02923151200032232,0.0,0.04374535587148278,0.0,0.17179207152612033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103703843740962,0.0,0.15505372562015887,0.0,0.04541411124937431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316841038804142,0.13378550593020122,0.0,0.1917550410661941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707648472723914,0.0,0.12379725475671002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043933461296297265,0.13184879243211298,0.0,0.132103934194079,0.10215327528231773,0.03480985790553226,0.0,0.03205907879679738,0.12934791819406005,0.0336354663962463,0.0,0.0,0.08185187676302985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591038400018908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04722642756477387,0.0,0.0,0.03807941436119264,0.04556417854963276,0.0,0.041226460266240716,0.0,0.0,0.04436803201635778,0.0,0.0,0.0509788868191023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049638828271473714,0.027938302278362918,0.0,0.0,0.04682185776931446,0.0,0.03724352765907323,0.08296803313960606,0.034681191493031525,0.0,0.0,0.06950458897379704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953206214427002,0.036075442689052516,0.0,0.1745698498721369,0.0,0.0,0.06714770630094911,0.04313236164002327,0.048818907240972126,0.09260420103769182,0.0,0.10448332409961274,0.03646072130650732,0.0,0.04559165182040016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04110282042345032,0.0,0.06558003968862225,0.07010568688077705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028973188741335837,0.027944146815483455,0.0,0.0,0.10171962261904048,0.05012439130548102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804491997592645,0.04743620905377492,0.0,0.1362016644767925,0.05245862380363577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028915133829944,0.0,0.034982087274038294,0.0,0.15684598773465,0.20213901733409284,0.11805634380020118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269972139546882,0.0,0.0,0.061959959605921065,0.0,0.0,0.028084033002310785
mentalhealth,photonmail,2019/02/19,"[US] Helping Burntout Friend I have a friend who is experiencing some extreme burnout coupled with a history of depression. She doesn’t have insurance/money to seek out professional help. She lives in another state so unfortunately I can help her on a daily basis.

She’s a college grad with student loan debt still living near the school from which she graduated 2 years ago. She’s been doing odd jobs since then and recently became unemployed. She doesn’t even have the motivation to seriously apply to jobs. Anything she does apply to is part time or low-wage. Nothing that utilizes her degree or experience.


I plan on flying out for a weekend to see if I can help her apply to more serious jobs and maybe help her pay bills, clean, etc. I’m going to do this without being abrasive but I’m concerned that one weekend won’t make any difference.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks",4.2085966257668685,6.942616742331293,5.1058243865030715,76.60143596625768,74.8282208588957,8.00138036809816,29.20590490797546,8.841846274778883,2.7870616564417183,711,31,120,16,16,231,111,163,0.073,0.797,0.129,0.8379,7,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,3,3,6,0,0,7,0,15,0,0,2,0,14,21,8,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,1,2,4,1,4,3,0,1,1,2,16,3,19,18,4,16,0,1,1,0,21,6,0,4,8,77,21,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634084993529388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19384536570421815,0.1494511160554289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965761177896344,0.0,0.11728689367726346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770249592346214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275758114926053,0.0,0.0,0.14890951222679516,0.0,0.0,0.12472561160418907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589543543487955,0.09413719091529364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941794263102936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202307303754735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100090677868789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47766143626162105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4243056939470816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517064381573662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513732503362247,0.0,0.14318669432056874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675770381517938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657942122039022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434195275185597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072739813054044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424409288339154,0.11357490435538005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789912043165345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382158326092096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121894809947354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831081557390278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144143340978346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739014156871565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178218040691577
mentalhealth,bwau,2019/02/19,Mega paranoia Anyone know how to deal with paranoia bc my friend told be the bloodymarry thing about the mirror in second grade and I got super paranoid about stuff watching me so I would walk from the bathroom to my room with my back against the wall so Ik nothing was behind me and even now I have to sleep with my back towards the wall so Ik nothing is behind me I also get this feeling when I think about the openness of like the ocean where I’m exposed or in the woods by my self i think it would not be as bad if I had less stress/anxiety ,4.689481668773702,4.897112132743364,4.907484197218711,88.63053097345137,69.26548672566372,7.165107458912767,28.532237673830593,6.18269132825596,1.0822273072060675,433,14,93,2,7,136,74,113,0.062,0.7979999999999999,0.14,0.88,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,14,4,0,0,8,0,8,1,1,1,0,16,16,11,0,3,3,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,4,2,15,3,19,8,1,13,0,0,1,0,4,8,0,2,5,72,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705302984285126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313026193972718,0.0,0.0,0.1491044186045905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32794130930440724,0.17804894392871792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21984410297237333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084494771584607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782203539157643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475096294867708,0.0,0.11141063248961286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054985558394295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719274053306995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417972693907568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40922469549617374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224588882196701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133969369373312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24426906207341084,0.0,0.2441121431530479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416691309578785,0.27327492531471936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037627631377936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30296332619518856,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kmr148,2019/02/19,"How important is it to have a regular morning routine to reduce stress/anxiety/depression? Where you do the same things and in the same order after you wake up. I’ve lived a very scattered lifestyle due to working at home, working late starting jobs and due to my depression/anxiety/PTSD.  I could kinda just skip things if I wanted or do them in whatever order cause I didn’t have to be anywhere at any specific time.  I recently treated my depression with 30mg of Cymbalta taken in the morning and 400 mg Gabapentin at night to treat my insomnia.  The treatment is going great so far, I’m just at a month of taking these medicines now.  I feel better, I have less PTSD symptoms, and am more focused.  My depression is minimal and my anxiety is definitely less.  However my mornings are still very scattered and I’m needing advice on how to change this.  (My house is also very scattered, I guess this is a symptom of growing up with my mom, who puts everything in piles and has no organization to anything.   She is also suffers from PTSD, depression, anxiety.)

How do you feel about your morning routine, and how does it help you feel ready for a successful day?  How does it help you with your mental illness?  Were you a scattered person like me and then changed?",5.4338793745346265,6.911209042194095,5.978704393149665,77.02900967982131,68.28270042194093,9.289550757011666,35.038222884090345,9.627879704456738,3.5738971953338305,1001,50,175,22,17,324,133,237,0.083,0.782,0.135,0.9033,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,8,1,4,14,10,0,0,10,0,20,5,1,6,0,32,32,20,0,4,4,1,3,1,0,0,4,0,1,1,9,12,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,3,3,26,6,29,27,5,31,0,4,0,0,15,13,0,4,14,125,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918265433765348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787031587055523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598119970908096,0.0,0.17094846697470625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194544176359412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881736471199623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147789502176994,0.2363940629286672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920845034279515,0.0,0.0,0.07205752512751915,0.0,0.3849364468516756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19555384405929985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041699934830796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948429528445838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349954307351499,0.0,0.0,0.12318428933409885,0.12308476017570374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978243653159834,0.0,0.11207572822952687,0.0,0.0,0.12892306187200278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087619781321344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603791287611565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458632996206013,0.0,0.09866089434853127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259899581436347,0.0,0.0,0.13085849332135074,0.08918295660436333,0.0,0.0,0.08284743510352181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104852372468071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755956969747034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918241662978055,0.11232094148029703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032130175566288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908407693915223,0.0,0.0892288594832642,0.0,0.12798796861561876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322634613316751,0.08400812565128735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845878665870255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515149181637685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765703786212705,0.06590208869780037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268361467795575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iletthedogsout234,2019/02/19,"Missed dose Effexor and flu like symptoms Has anyone experienced flu like symptoms if they miss a dose?

I take 300mg along with Wellbutrin 300mg. I didn’t get it filled in time and missed yesterday and today feel like I’ve been hit by a bus and stuffy. But I’m not sure if it’s withdrawal or actually sick.

I get brain zaps but this body pain is something else. It woke me up several times a night, stayed home from work too and waiting on ibuprofen to kick in. ",2.8340425531914875,4.637569159574472,3.5542021276595754,90.50875,75.48936170212768,7.253191489361702,24.51595744680851,8.07648339933343,1.197472340425532,367,12,80,6,8,116,70,94,0.175,0.757,0.068,-0.8352,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,1,8,0,0,3,0,4,11,2,0,1,16,15,10,0,2,6,0,1,3,0,0,9,0,1,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,2,5,4,9,11,0,11,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,3,8,37,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.2025462161793848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512905625489192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23054963379497015,0.0,0.23170285537950575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338768947744224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494732742534084,0.14827914634550116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21688049356681266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819713343699245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304206386230359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947786887203023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22085585391890952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344809386029079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978793280134332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22122871869053307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562052286140802,0.4314635078915216,0.15605743743367276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24205693863588465,0.0,0.19674027659499851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110435938347686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Armedmeerkat,2019/02/19,"Polybius game remake Side Effects i thought it was a good idea to play the remake, i met all the requirements (mentally and physically) to play it free of any problems, but a few hours after playing i began hallucinating scary faces and black shadows and such, as well as noises and i'm scared as to what it is! 

i have not played the game again as i am scared i'm losing my mind.. ",4.700131578947372,5.385236118421055,5.553789473684212,82.3175263157895,69.39473684210526,8.185263157894736,28.35789473684211,8.238735603445708,1.7668347368421051,299,10,61,4,5,98,52,76,0.23,0.629,0.141,-0.8944,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,3,11,0,2,5,0,4,1,1,1,1,13,9,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,3,6,1,0,1,4,1,0,4,1,6,8,9,5,2,5,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,4,39,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18817010673667275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23208852824371234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725004510521405,0.0,0.0,0.3123682864656305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095641205633793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788553634577406,0.0,0.2793949789328153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647710291669496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5540635398816508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21967428381155849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24879263649202854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Swizz_3eats,2019/02/19,"ADD with anxiety disorder and depression, a couple heart conditions so I can't take medication. I know people have bigger issues in the world but Holy shit this sucks.
Mixed with my idea of cosmic nihilism I'm just laying in bed way too much. ",3.1363043478260906,5.908642630434787,4.415391304347828,79.79265217391305,79.21739130434783,8.027826086956521,22.243478260869566,8.841846274778883,2.041283478260869,195,6,34,5,5,64,42,46,0.284,0.716,0.0,-0.9226,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,0,2,3,2,0,0,8,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,6,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188405691240827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165278348972963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24638919727220224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278577111895207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389909228068693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229349661272378,0.0,0.2985797579731372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721501167541665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881825346238466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21029225362093987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832292662351586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29364379492915177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150868779805478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270667700519536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Prettybuildings50,2019/02/19,"My boyfriend just killed himself I just found out this morning. The police have been. I’m devastated I loved him more than anything I just want to touch him hold him. But I never can he’s gone completely, police had to take the stuff he left me behind my house before he died. He’s been ripped away I want to lie where I know he last was I just want to be there. Be close to him. No one understands I’m devastated, numb I don’t want to carry on we were all each other had, he new me and I knew him completely ",0.3836111111111116,2.5256171759259267,2.123703703703704,95.86666666666667,85.57407407407408,5.4518518518518535,17.333333333333336,6.816661863887847,-0.20936666666666648,397,9,93,5,12,130,67,108,0.184,0.736,0.081,-0.9393,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,2,0,11,2,0,0,2,21,24,2,2,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,9,1,20,1,11,13,3,10,0,0,0,1,14,6,0,0,3,61,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646153049270222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18794351349767774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17021871637591188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194748142503135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076092181787972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21933277466440376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308185020933603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22131385452945126,0.0,0.10993637146010772,0.16305873381789746,0.0,0.0,0.21734329199239635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18054328431595287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428264532770186,0.1931992088953306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555181125026106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289971471400444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040466340888115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082479729973431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719534636294082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dovath1103,2019/02/19,"Theres something wrong with my head Theres something wrong with my head. 

I cant sleep anymore. I stare at my ceiling hoping that the mundane white wall will suddenly change. 

I have to keep my nails short. Otherwise I find myself digging them into my scalp and chest to make sure I can still feel anything. 

My head runs 100 miles an hour. But theres nothing. A collection of memories and emotions constantly tumble over each other. Each one lasting but a heartbeat, with no time available to reflect on them. 

My brain never let's me stay happy for long. I can wake up feeling happy and thinking I'm the best guy on earth, and an hour later I want to die. 

My family has a history of mental disorders, and I'm terrified that I may have all of them. I'm not ready for that I'm 21 and in the military. But I want to be healthy again. 

The few people I talk to online are getting concerned. They have been describing me as manic lately. All over the place and going from really down to suddenly cheerful but always ending at down. 

Three things have constantly been popping up in generally conversations between me and those talking to me the past month. 

Bipolar disorder 
Body dysmorphia 
Manic

I hardly understand any of them. They all scare me. I dont want to talk to anyone about them. 

But I want to be okay again. 

I dont know what to do",2.6638284703801958,5.064074264367818,3.8322796934865915,85.46665119363395,78.38697318007664,6.92726201002063,25.36413203654583,8.012643519586192,1.6940437960506922,1057,40,200,19,26,343,150,261,0.102,0.763,0.135,0.7495,0,0,2,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,7,1,7,10,0,1,11,1,19,10,9,1,5,41,37,14,1,5,6,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,14,0,1,7,0,0,2,6,3,0,2,2,5,35,7,38,30,7,38,0,0,2,0,12,17,0,2,18,141,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877369741813566,0.0,0.0,0.07255209903444043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058067038898788,0.07459934771260653,0.0,0.08779586031990996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196340064593946,0.0,0.0,0.1185072978513588,0.0,0.11910007768604165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128626918923511,0.0,0.0,0.23058556144980955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072621666880822,0.0,0.244549406277408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500771528618786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001063357089267,0.09449468349978868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057678393137018,0.0,0.10789020988824732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751170633307506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055740538005210866,0.0,0.06063375091931804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563876788404612,0.0,0.22714459989073274,0.09557228343684283,0.0,0.32848072145197194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596613382562216,0.2101341180544857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482998136878604,0.0,0.0,0.05863342000349416,0.08696567931252848,0.1203497071919651,0.0,0.0,0.10909661137588857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441630425152656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121565793059273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751730068465712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851580486293724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822850438176578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237086076188463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722951483272753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018466110299861,0.07396463816729187,0.0,0.11146717528169996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683476304470872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068141840221208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106765932548313,0.0,0.0,0.16426862913503198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371615399072232,0.08520187986958355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005530097228078,0.0,0.0,0.2572574488291702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087935327051532,0.06836192839043638,0.0,0.0,0.06221114571238299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106688990604206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517114698944584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233295090764925,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,irrelevant9,2019/02/19,"I believe I struggle with bipolar disorder and/or BPD, how can I go about getting professionally, officially evaluated for it? I’ve been diagnosed in the past by several therapists and psychiatrists with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Most of them were convinced I had some type of bipolar or borderline disorder. Every time they brought that possibility up, I would stop seeing them because I didn’t wanna get diagnosed with either one of those. I didn’t like the stigma that came with having either one of those at the time. I’m 24 now.

A little about my symptoms: I’m constantly suicidal, I can’t sleep (like right now) for days, but most days/weeks I’m super fatigue and just tired; getting out of bed or taking a shower can be a daunting job in itself for example. I really enjoy the manic or “alive” states of mine though because I’m able to focus on my music a lot. I like to think I’m a somewhat functional and rational person. I went to school and graduated with 2 degrees from a pretty good 4-year University and I’m planning on going to grad school. I have many research ideas I wanna pursue but most of it is shit though so I’m still waiting for a good idea to pop. I do a lot of impulsive things I suppose such as sleeping with escorts or randomly getting on my car in the middle of the night and driving on the freeway going 100+mph with the intention that I’ll get pulled over or killed. I hit myself a lot till I go unconscious by banging my head on the wall or with my instruments. I love that feeling when I wake up from that brief unconscious state and feel like I “reset” my brain from getting overwhelmed with thoughts and impulses. I want to blow my head open cause sometimes the thoughts and mental suffering and fatigue can get to me. Unfortunately, I’ve been hospitalized before so I can’t buy a gun so I’m always thinking about jumping off some building or bridge every time I pass by one. But that sounds too boring and I’m scared to survive that, so slitting my wrists or suffocating myself somehow while listening to my favorite composers sounds more appealing.

Anyways, would seeing a mental health professional on a weekly basis the only way to get officially diagnosed with it? Is there some other way? I don’t wanna “get better” btw. I’m not planning on taking medications or want to pursue any long term, weekly visitation thing with a health professional in order to “get better.” I hate health professionals. I just wanna know if I do have 1 of the 2 for curiosity sake. 

Thanks for taking your time reading this.",6.018147382920108,7.2927327293388435,6.8060330578512405,72.38965564738295,66.74793388429751,9.66831955922865,33.05509641873278,9.873865916822265,3.4298699724517903,2067,89,351,46,33,684,242,484,0.117,0.755,0.129,0.8393,2,0,0,1,0,0,41.0,0,1,3,6,21,24,3,3,25,0,22,22,8,3,0,79,69,36,2,9,18,0,2,4,0,2,13,3,2,1,17,26,0,2,9,1,1,14,6,11,0,3,11,7,44,13,71,54,15,60,0,5,2,1,8,22,1,22,23,240,61,12,0.07124595824153793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928234465167699,0.0,0.0,0.048449694732255584,0.0,0.054502963046013306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686174972593039,0.0,0.060625062950772336,0.08026979739924048,0.0,0.12602252064651145,0.0,0.0,0.08973179032221294,0.07953405185062196,0.0,0.08148639608847784,0.0,0.07318922471648823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699157026873743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04594774903472456,0.0,0.06136403943571134,0.21693944369856535,0.0,0.0,0.32661616242061764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200555852629562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204819437688763,0.05089812680337027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722307261271902,0.0,0.16196287972967194,0.1195154590628168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034063366722514,0.14623781523053644,0.22719336599864706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085602953370748,0.0,0.0,0.07070062012302428,0.0,0.07882309682735195,0.0,0.03915491540677422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392287056978337,0.07140716714282913,0.0,0.06305043106420317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171229775213574,0.0643022589409137,0.0,0.0,0.07223221916159579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177280747339035,0.1435983373585092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685950547611122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483431549307374,0.05418576170852516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801232878976014,0.0,0.0622092226517941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031911301539912,0.0,0.07248275291597958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126523840966771,0.0,0.04564198520655429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084365905697123,0.0,0.0,0.0713296331576858,0.14420942676122725,0.11354760894639325,0.0,0.0,0.08048765345718614,0.07313295230300802,0.0,0.0,0.14259482244103905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046407445531608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05689711428384829,0.05956481127275635,0.0,0.07448174471004437,0.0,0.0779315146292956,0.0,0.0,0.07405183020314816,0.16070428178619792,0.0,0.0,0.06559370615243798,0.0,0.08272204880017726,0.0946652977509586,0.09130306651094136,0.13999758447364605,0.11312266518603853,0.16617636478183934,0.08188674829479863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404542417997259,0.11310345085149305,0.17144763063422672,0.0,0.0,0.06604571707261732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122216917676856,0.0,0.0,0.04588006121705405
mentalhealth,Aggroth,2019/02/19,"My days are numbered Hello thank you for taking time out of your life and reading this/providing feedback.

Since I was 12 I have fought the good fight against poor mental health. I have been to group counseling, peer counseling, hospitalizations, one on one counseling, etc. I have also been through the gauntlet of pills, you name it I have probably tried it. I have gone through diagnosis after diagnosis. Starting out with Depression and Anxiety then gettimg worse from there BPD, ADDHD, Bipolar Disorder, PTSD, and most recently Schizoaffective Disorder.

I have been med compliant for 5 years now only missing out on things because my pharmacy ran out. I have been in counseling for as long as I remember. I thought things would eventually get better but it seems I have reached a breaking point.

When I was a young child my paternal grandfather committed suicide. Most recently about 6 years ago my mother committed suicide and I was the last person she spoke to and the person who found her. I have night terrors and hallucinations about it to this day.

I cannot hold a full time job without my afflictions becoming overwhelming. Work comes home with me and I cannot escape it in 1 to 2 days. I cannot work 8 hour shifts because I start to lose track on reality. I start to hallucinate badly and cut for the pure joy of it. Yet, I am deemed by the government as abled body to work full time and cannot get Social Security. So I am forced to work part time jobs with little pay and hours to get by. I live paycheck to paycheck while working in retail. A business where if things are slow my hours get cut. 

I do get SNAP but with the bill Trump signed at the beginning of the year stating that abled body workers must work at least 20 hours a week and 80 hours a month to get the benefit. I do not know how long I will remain on them as my job doesn't allow for me to get a solid 20 hours a week. I could find a new job but this job has been working for me for over a year. We all know how delicate the work\life balence is when you have poor mental health and how important it is to find a job that fits you.

I do get subsidized housing so I have a place to live at a rate I can afford on my budget but there is still so little money left over.

Here is where things get hairy. I recently got married to the most wonderful, supportive, loving, and understanding woman I have ever met. But now her mental health is deteriorating. She has told me she is going to work doubles and weekends to get the money to pay off all of her debt and then kill herself.

I cannot let this happen. She has made me so happy and it is my turn to return the favor to her. She has mentioned numerous times that my mental health brings her down and that my visits to the hospital have become more frequent and she blames herself for that. I am left without a safe place. Normally when I am feeling like this I would go into the hospital and the doctors, nurses, and counselors there would help me get back on the right track. It was my safe space. Now that the person I care about most in the world is thinking she is causing these trips. I have no safe space left because I don't want her to blame herself.

So last night I decided that I would stop being med compliant and before anything would come to where she would die that I will kill myself. I am thinking I will do it in a way where I just disappear and hopefully my body is not found for a long time.

Now I am not doing this right now. I need to plan it out so the least people possible get hurt by it. My mother and grandfather did it suddenly with no planning. I have to burn bridges and make people hate me so that they don't miss me when I am gone. So for the time being I am not going to let anyone but the people on this page know I am feeling this way. There is no way to check my med compliance except for my Haldol Injection so I am going to continue to get that. Plus hallucinations would throw a wrench in my plans. So to everyone in the world I will be seen as the happiest guy alive until I am ready to dissapear.

Thank you again for your time. I needed somewhere to get this off my chest that wouldn't land me in the hospital.",4.00778167367929,5.403709572463771,4.824425744117188,84.26027349228613,71.63285024154591,8.28879538725261,26.881408757986602,8.795588458614638,1.9037019791179683,3298,112,667,61,62,1067,332,828,0.142,0.76,0.098,-0.9892,8,0,0,0,1,3,66.0,1,7,2,14,41,32,7,2,43,0,86,13,4,7,7,110,150,59,5,16,15,2,2,1,0,13,8,1,1,6,38,39,0,6,17,2,11,14,18,15,0,2,23,4,109,17,104,108,15,137,0,6,1,1,49,51,0,8,68,475,147,21,0.09155871240262344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04058063710416819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036609734614563134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035021082190395326,0.0,0.0,0.03200999027900663,0.0,0.037672509499736856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035201499127791774,0.038223850223109285,0.08372001189509275,0.10111940444599686,0.038954860318409605,0.0,0.0,0.04048812034013898,0.0,0.15255163356766013,0.057657496553215414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667510468139045,0.047028009322787334,0.0,0.07886972357241465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036551090826630064,0.0,0.0,0.08857169255460041,0.0,0.03942969241504202,0.0,0.047511744108732684,0.0,0.10493421668824884,0.046857110909459855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105608339075976,0.0,0.04141004860169132,0.0,0.04374413668156376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04629483602226142,0.032704781217364975,0.0,0.0,0.08368300441006687,0.0,0.0,0.10038940231968703,0.0,0.0,0.3348495379871305,0.0,0.10406985245953244,0.03839755199481667,0.03661393317796635,0.0,0.0,0.04532876005942765,0.04048253350017435,0.04873297593996589,0.0,0.045197636519406975,0.0,0.19464525961115128,0.0,0.0,0.030684937474326195,0.0,0.045920426890466576,0.04546923019661836,0.2705006658553542,0.05282323060229466,0.04900774764466991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27257368295555023,0.0,0.10129614972168377,0.0,0.07547741080393891,0.07463257078669648,0.0,0.0,0.1492182133839409,0.09362498672423686,0.032335313141392256,0.02236548103536021,0.09176588316422686,0.08084802048488825,0.12153986893750145,0.0,0.05121538968345834,0.0,0.0,0.04131765631708242,0.043317533736206684,0.030558075746902325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255163356766013,0.0,0.18453929452572454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03654064535935257,0.0,0.0,0.06788962511031295,0.0,0.04421398748845149,0.0,0.08592164923258605,0.044854049199625004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204255308211909,0.034817263287894605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957458160032579,0.0,0.09521292429445016,0.11991830412870234,0.09565936718217652,0.0,0.04327628880584217,0.05160934564231355,0.0,0.0,0.049357888847874634,0.0,0.05351361758288991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579174474525469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560477415833624,0.0,0.05185908642393992,0.07819064012353512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04167580653329963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037869156520538814,0.0,0.0,0.04666628851696912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720859183302508,0.0,0.0365594529979727,0.03827359164817317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015037078811408,0.05194987090733332,0.0,0.0,0.03442037855221131,0.0,0.0,0.08429496107937562,0.0,0.0,0.12165508030510892,0.058667125928829576,0.0,0.03634369522013179,0.21355448599052265,0.0,0.0,0.04374413668156376,0.0,0.031081177824827118,0.049794793673967316,0.0,0.04765792430127516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027001850389753758,0.10901256629690363,0.0734428763529886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825933147585761,0.04964575898373057,0.2999512488965023,0.0,0.046653075008953465,0.22764238820060875,0.0,0.0,0.11792161783397558
mentalhealth,AmbientDream,2019/02/19,"Any of you've ever experienced abstract thoughts while trying to fall asleep? I wanted to X-post this with another subreddit, but the X-post option says I can't, so anyway:

This sounds strange, but it's true (for me). Most of the nights, when I go to sleep, I actually CAN'T sleep due to abstract thoughts in my head (they feel like some sort of hallucinations or something). They tend to be mixed with thoughts of dying in sleep. Is there anyone who has (or used to have) such issue?",3.526370967741933,5.552802860215053,3.9157930107526897,87.69368951612906,74.16129032258064,6.800537634408602,24.528225806451612,7.6454224807358475,1.0751516129032257,378,12,77,5,8,118,68,93,0.024,0.895,0.081,0.7278,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,6,5,5,1,2,18,14,7,1,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,4,8,2,15,10,2,9,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,6,6,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.17703757299736725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337030419631095,0.19023234920529464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268515224594925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18828300234915274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410275868440954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173027514612946,0.12960489062841746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310389906057264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861869703173182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893530173206051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863155830868913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702482869001712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474961489494192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427069171399284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5446463610943459,0.0,0.0,0.1396642620682807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320763327598768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317075677149784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668670432115556,0.0,0.0,0.10700490069845782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reckonerv,2019/02/19,Anyone up up chat? I want to talk to someone. ,-2.9160000000000004,-1.726766599999996,0.5200000000000031,100.24000000000002,115.0,2.0,15.0,3.1291,-1.358,34,1,8,0,2,12,8,10,0.0,0.86,0.14,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713355537851641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5711496071090713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5418035850947289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975925014580696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MitchBurbage,2019/02/19,"Does anyone else has a feeling of being outside their own body? I don't really know how to word it. Sometimes, mostly when I'm sick with the flu, or something like it (but not only when I'm sick) I get the feeling that I'm outside of my body (for lack of a better explanation), I feel the same way of when I'm dreaming, but I see everything happen normally, I lose all sense of touch in my entire body and my mind gets like, really confused and I start producing increasingly unlikely scenarios (like me being ""the owner of the world"" or creating a mass that would destroy everything once it fell to earth and being seriously freaked out by things that are impossible -as in building a theme park by myself in 12 hours). Usually I can feel this starting and even stop it by hugging someone near or clapping a bunch of times, but everytime this freaks me out a lot.",8.218392857142856,6.6946721488095235,8.544047619047621,71.20928571428574,62.63095238095239,11.971428571428573,37.66666666666667,10.9516,4.034116666666668,683,28,128,15,8,227,104,168,0.152,0.757,0.091,-0.8943,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,3,5,11,1,1,11,0,8,7,3,2,1,32,23,15,0,3,7,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,10,7,0,1,5,1,0,2,2,6,0,0,0,6,14,5,21,19,8,20,0,1,1,1,2,8,0,6,12,87,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054066791853,0.1544593933790248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332457380681498,0.0,0.5023419550741208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192080658838595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593081655082514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995677952249329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27096560771665856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30489137209984896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751947402452685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330617673006864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845665710768732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284729399585412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209439362934056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864872818330473,0.0,0.1281607685619705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221275570329987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770127491251636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16054196287746209,0.0,0.11465083461472142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931463739700799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201268352029256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772850025821875,0.11605336522613645,0.1490938706391722,0.0,0.2134007698656597,0.0,0.0,0.12603228432637198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015043670126092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790251495385341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660278962217883,0.0,0.0,0.11965694150137428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708722929886556,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blitzjensen,2019/02/19,"I just tied a noose I'm so alone, useless, dumb, obese, unattractive. I feel like I have already killed my self. but keep waking up again the next day. maybe they were dreams but i don't think so. I would much rather never wake up from sleep. so today I tied a noose and am seeing it hanging in the closet. i don't know what to do. I don't want hurt my family or my friends. I just want to go to another reality where everything is better. I feel so guilty. ",-0.16000000000000014,2.060239666666672,1.6654166666666654,97.37125,89.83333333333334,4.866666666666667,16.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,-0.4434416666666667,352,8,82,4,12,115,65,96,0.174,0.659,0.16699999999999998,0.5154,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,9,7,2,0,4,0,9,4,3,0,1,16,19,8,1,4,6,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,1,1,1,4,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,3,14,3,7,17,1,11,0,2,1,0,3,4,1,1,6,51,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22262113440309803,0.2372002833026608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253915488904606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901038944013084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386235727656332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19318125610659545,0.0,0.20263369098977466,0.0,0.21736816983763346,0.15355877780278554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606816577467184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221598093225954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301061053173188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910555139082672,0.2378079346259421,0.0,0.118129709921615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501265579290132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21594399336200587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801139251442595,0.0,0.1657810231176696,0.0,0.2285994633304617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128559681180872,0.0,0.2242374725203997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151030698992371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772989482727113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20374541641962035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253563606905445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269277635087886,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,up2something2,2019/02/19,"Wife practices extreme emotional avoidance So my wife and I have had a lot of problems, but it has always been confusing because we’ll have the most amazing times together and it will be followed by very painful experiences. We’ve done therapy together and she’s recently been getting a lot of support after a recent mental health breakdown. Instead of understanding what the problem was I would always try to remind her that I needed her to talk to me without yelling and name calling, etc but that never seemed to work. I could never quite put my finger on what was going on until today, when I realized that she was going to great lengths in order to avoid certain emotions. Today she actually realized herself that this is a very atypical thing to do.

It isn’t so much that the emotions are too strong for her per se, but that she feels extremely bad about ever feeling any “weak” emotions like sadness, guilt, or shame. She says that she feels like she would be a weak or bad person if she lets herself experience these emotions, and in fact is disgusted by the very idea. She has actually trained herself to have the ability to change an emotion she doesn’t like. She says that holding her breath long enough will let her “feel nothing”, but she usually purposefully makes herself angry because she prefers that to any of the weaker emotions. If she manages to make herself happy, she will mentally ignore very recent bad events, leading to emotions that often seem strange for the situation. I would go so far as to say she seems a bit obsessed with her moods and emotions, as well as leading a life where she never has to experience those emotions. She is always finding new ways to displace her emotions, and is constantly upset with me and other people not so much for what we say but because we cause her to have the feelings she is trying to avoid having. If she sees something very sad she will be more upset that something made her feel sad than the thing itself. This often makes it seem like she has no empathy.

Her strategies for avoiding emotions is often very extreme:

  - Becomes angry at someone if they show emotions like sadness, because this might make her sad
- Complete rejection and denial that any of her actions had negative consequences, although she is quite aware that they did 
- Screaming at someone to go away, and saying awful things, so that they are unable to say something that would make her feel bad
- Punching herself in the head and self harm so that her emotions will change
- Disassociating (she sort of learned how to make herself do this and then she started doing it very often)
- Denying or distorting events
- Completely shutting down or stonewalling whenever something is said that she doesn’t like
- Physical violence intended to stop someone from speaking
- Completely avoiding possible sensitive topics such as financial troubles, health/mental health,    holidays, and situations in which she may not succeed
- Avoiding sharing details of her life with people as this makes her vulnerable, and therefore requires another avoidance technique

Of course these strategies always cause more problems then they solve. It’s also a bit of a cycle, because the more bad things that happen the more and more intent she has become on making sure she does not allow others to say hurtful things. This has led to some pretty dark places as her anger tends to be quite scary and when she is no longer feeling anything she can be cruel and callous. A lot of her fear of weakness seems to have something to do with a fear of being taken advantage of.

So basically she is doing therapy for this now. I was very confused for a long time to be honest. As long as things are happy and not critical (like out in public) she is a lot of fun to be around, and mostly people who don’t know her very well never see this problem (people she isn’t closed to can seldom make her feel bad). She had sort of a tough childhood, and it seems like she’s felt this way since then. It’s really a tough situation, so if anyone can help me make sense of it or give advise I would appreciate it. Obviously nobody wants to experience negative emotions, but her distain for her own emotional experiences frightens me. Obviously it is habit by this point and I’m not sure how quickly it might get better.",10.208269720101784,8.712405513994911,9.183778625954199,68.10699109414762,58.74554707379134,11.5323155216285,41.93511450381679,10.190243380029422,4.390329770992365,3458,158,564,55,36,1083,326,786,0.235,0.652,0.113,-0.9991,1,7,5,0,1,0,68.0,3,0,4,11,28,72,3,16,28,1,76,11,3,22,11,151,124,63,0,18,22,2,11,8,0,14,8,11,0,2,57,30,0,11,24,2,0,10,19,46,2,0,15,24,86,25,88,84,19,65,0,7,2,0,94,20,0,34,40,431,143,8,0.0,0.0,0.06629135721418432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027162403105165232,0.11304892099089785,0.0,0.0,0.06929363722034745,0.03561605709272002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02374964660369128,0.0,0.027950923430293474,0.030236724336249805,0.0,0.0,0.031911946202832005,0.0,0.17015992695754928,0.10352604915083337,0.07502501873432876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030039951319718625,0.07416361782519199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034682834862654784,0.0,0.0,0.06978437619981424,0.0718625331017918,0.0,0.10683734801492116,0.03670491609017965,0.0,0.027118892650248725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02972366229885945,0.034758761434922555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6113104681771117,0.0,0.03509570595897976,0.0378807968053143,0.0,0.030723971221473582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16612513628384942,0.0,0.07644183793853007,0.1545669628402023,0.02426514314416601,0.03261245266617041,0.0,0.03104408598926796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03549141164674472,0.032583048512435576,0.07721408836644261,0.0,0.0,0.037447366318009455,0.0,0.0,0.03003580619272437,0.07231435851321959,0.0,0.0,0.034858665166279765,0.10831203216297987,0.0,0.0,0.022766530533736416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03636104470069567,0.03834320462633562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01866669142488316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946457429680035,0.047982036435132124,0.13275162312304162,0.0,0.0,0.09017587666740748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550588578750146,0.0,0.03213921994387777,0.2267240613171101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684589871986751,0.07206459990927155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04993747817784462,0.025185177976834026,0.10478594096920653,0.032804339165308165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032591059307608215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0361419595516302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419031514379984,0.029657588350247982,0.03548698617380428,0.0,0.03210861848127772,0.03829128686916735,0.0,0.03455538514774968,0.0,0.13000256671819155,0.0,0.034144966566220084,0.0,0.10838028851145078,0.0,0.0,0.02175933327958177,0.0,0.100611260296009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03230921239681458,0.18907652931009145,0.0,0.0,0.05413262054625507,0.1855268936595985,0.03543369155999357,0.0,0.0,0.028096824669531843,0.11453679983975935,0.0,0.0,0.0863372254718154,0.13074249338813426,0.0,0.0,0.02404113718617121,0.0,0.0,0.02839689321912257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03854393782698885,0.06402464683885313,0.0,0.0,0.02730038837782624,0.0,0.0,0.0776856051298687,0.0,0.13539203571790412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039611411380482055,0.0,0.06439113107215831,0.0,0.0,0.04612103802169837,0.0,0.0,0.03535955025775412,0.0,0.0,0.037408482006059694,0.2522277557534537,0.020033883135009083,0.05392087287638445,0.0,0.0,0.061078588216982824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03274177707895752,0.0,0.024727475174453725,0.0,0.0,0.12064149403405157,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shazwheeliebin,2019/02/19,"Struggling to see what the point is? Ever since I started working full time (in a job that's rather unexciting), I'm struggling to see what the point of life is and my mental health is deteriorating. Every day from Monday to Friday I'm wishing it was the weekend, the weekend goes so fast and then your back to square one again. It's like being a hamster on a wheel. What is the point of just working 40 hours a week to pay bills but not enjoy life otherwise? Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice on how to find the joy in little things or to see the point would be much appreciated. ",3.910000000000004,5.442655384615384,4.910769230769231,83.0092307692308,72.07692307692308,6.90940170940171,24.96581196581197,7.3871296695380915,1.0782581196581198,468,14,93,5,9,153,79,117,0.069,0.821,0.11,0.7875,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,2,7,5,0,2,11,0,9,3,0,1,1,12,16,7,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,5,3,3,14,12,2,23,0,0,4,0,1,10,0,1,14,61,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360343192380806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993493111249058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275485856249512,0.15057350485740298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299988011668614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477428412984827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227626497993703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132929865021655,0.1238165349567798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343148686908618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620706181783225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472178539031952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583087965053648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075983466072369,0.07179514334241541,0.14728824131488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809680464546768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802936550505507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958100129431036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5556826349016939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35131405494154544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156329284176565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401601726834167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30726005882472435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763085259634438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569106399312956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787901693027872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899182921084765,0.0,0.0,0.2139710334690781,0.0,0.0,0.10439312940606324,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VeryButtery,2019/02/19,"I need to talk but I can’t I desperately want to tell someone about every little thought I’ve had, I’m suicidal, and have been for years, but I just can’t bring myself to talk to anyone. Being me, I’ve done hours on hours of research into possible mental illnesses that I have, I can’t convince myself that I have them without a diagnosis, but I’m too scared to tell anybody because I know it won’t just be a secret between me and them. Looking up “what to do if your friend is suicidal” has showed me that people will tell others and that is exactly what I don’t want. I feel like I’m too analytical for my own good, I hate being so calculated and if just worsens the cycle. I wish I was either 35 IQ points dumber or dead.",7.135184484389782,5.0230642781457,8.295704824976351,74.00754966887419,65.15894039735099,11.012677388836329,34.154210028382224,9.606745405546679,2.9616766319772947,570,19,118,9,7,198,90,151,0.246,0.637,0.118,-0.9819,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,2,0,7,6,1,1,3,0,20,1,0,0,1,25,33,11,3,6,11,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,4,1,0,1,6,2,0,0,5,2,22,4,15,23,2,9,0,0,1,0,10,5,0,3,4,86,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549417463238892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068912434064824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903133466190395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391670302575362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351742424051115,0.11800102656418684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761376667252528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854092228369186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630760796752614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253281331668607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090775839961311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069614360768357,0.16554870593658794,0.0,0.0,0.13870536853487506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166457513128877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224751421333644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451152187046636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614372929258952,0.1862099527779568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536895295911844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995221012913905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613492010613601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655227570713111,0.43311059410561614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113047039233527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948489454154647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899430558064947,0.15922277004088695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106367260692227
mentalhealth,MueezSaber,2019/02/19,"I can’t stop Procrastinating This whole cluster of words is just me venting out my thoughts, because I can’t sleep, not right now. 

I’m 16, I don’t have any major issues in my life related to family; they are caring, but of course want me to succeed, they want to me grow a passion for anything in school, and try finding a career I can love. My procrastination stops me from doing this, it stops me from doing anything. Take this past valentines for example, being a teenager, I tried asking out a girl, and I almost did, until a voice in the back of my head told me to “listen into” the conversation she and her friends were having, I kept asserting my own words into their conversation (before I sound creepy, I was across the room from her doing my work when all of a sudden the class got quiet) I just kept thinking to myself “she finds me weird, for sure” and I ended up not asking her out. 

I haven’t considered asking anyone out ever, I’ve had crushes, but never asked them out on a date, so this was a first for me, and I honestly think a last. Other problems I face seem to be social anxiety, though of course this is self diagnosed, but when I find it hard to breathe when I’m not near a friend in public spaces, that’s gotta mean something right? 

Speaking of friends, I’m lucky enough to have made many in high school, yet, lately my 2 “best” friends are more agitated with me than normal whenever I talk to them, though this applies to one more than the other. One of my friends (Enoch) said he was done with my BS, the bs being I  get offended to easily, but I’ve overcome that since last year, and we’ve been able to remain fairly good friends since then. The other being Tajinder, she was the person whom I would tell al my problems to, but she’s just ignored me all together lately, I didn’t try talking to her at first since maybe I did something wrong, but then I just started messaging her and trying to talk to her, she responded, but we didn’t really talk, and we don’t talk much at school in the first place; she’s in my math class, and since I think so highly of her in regard of how smart she is, I ask her for help, she gets annoyed I think, so I just stopped doing that. Maybe I’m selfish, but I feel almost mad at her, but then again I don’t, because I’ve been told I’m a DOUCHEBAG.

Enter the “You’re a D-Bag” Arc.

About 8 months ago, everyone seemed to call me some variation of scumbag, let’s start with the first: 
Johnathon, a friend, who speaks in monotone, I don’t really know John much, apart from his family, and what he thinks they think of him “my parents love my brother because he’s smarter than me” John has motivation to present himself as smart, because maybe he wants to prove himself and shows his parents that he’s smarter? That’s how I think of it, and that’s why I like John, he is not only smart, but he is a all round nice guy. That’s where I come in, I feel like dirt for it; I was agitated, because the day has started off bad, I got dirt water splashed in my face about twice, and I slipped down about 5 stairs and hit my leg. John made a harmless joke, but I just said “huh? Was that supposed to be funny” I don’t remember what it was honestly, I just know what happened next; I got louder, I yelled at him and called him stupid, which was wierd, since I thought and knew John was far superior to me when it came to intellect. John just called me a douchebag, it struck a nerve and I just shut up, he left and my friend Enoch just said “holy man, what happened” he was the first to call me a douchebag.

Next was a friend I’ve known since I was 5, Herman is his name; he is smart, a 90s student in the Masters program at our school, on top of that, he is athletic and has style. I wish I had all these quality’s, and I probably could if I TRIED. Off topic, our little exchange happened over PS4, we were playing fort nite when I got pissed at how bad I was doing, I left our pert and Herman decided he’d message me. He said “hey man, you okay? Wanna play some more?” To which I regrettably replied “no, I’m not going to fucking play more” he then said “woah, okay man, just tell me if you wanna play some more” to which...I replied “fuck off” he then said something that changed me “okay, see this is why I don’t play with you anymore douchebag” the words stunt. We used to play a lot together, we really weren’t that close of friends coming into high school, but in grade 10 me and Jim’s tarted playing fortnite a lot together (I’m grade 11 ATM) our friendship has gotten better, but he avoids me, and when he doesn’t, he slips in a few snarky comments about me, I deserve it.

There are a few other cases, like my friend Enoch, but the final sting was from my teacher. No, he didn’t ca
Me a douchebag, it was honestly worse. It was for my better, and he didn’t think it would hurt me the way it did. This was grade 10 Civics class, which was the second part to the careers class, which was the first half of the course with a different teacher. I was forced to travel and stay in a different country for 3 months for my sisters wedding. This put me behind school and I resent my family for thinking it was a good idea, but I digress; after I came back, we were partway the through civics, I tried to catch up, but it wasn’t enough for a good mark (don’t get me wrong, I was at least passing) anyhow, our final assignment had 2 parts, a writing portion (I got a 95% on it) and a PRESENTATION. I can’t present, at all, so I just skipped class so I wouldn’t have to present. When I was in my 4th period class (civics is 3rd) my teacher saw me and came up to me “OP, you thought you’d get away with skipping, but clearly not, etc” he didn’t say anything to hurt me yet, he did embarrass me in front of class though, which was funny since I could’ve just done my presentation and I would have achieved similar results. I come into receive my final mark a week later, and he tells me I didn’t pass, and I had a 42% but he passed my because of my situation (which was being forced to travel) however, he told me that “people like you, delinquents, you think none of this matters, but believe me, you’ll find out one day it does” and I said “maybe, maybe I’ll learn from my mistakes” to which he replied “OP, people don’t learn, at this age, people don’t learn” I’ll just say how fucked up it is to tell a 15 year old this. 

Through all of this, after 3 years, I fell for a girl. I promised myself to never do this in middle school, to save my miserable self from any of the troubles that come with just simply trying to ask a girl out. Of course there’ve been numerous girls I though were hot or cute, but this one lingered. Don’t get me wrong, I liked her for her looks, and her (and this is so cliche) her smile, I didn’t know her at all, as a person I mean, but I still loved her smile, it made a bad day slightly better. Maybe one day I would ask her out and she would say yes, and then for some reason I would decided to get my shit together, but it was a fantasy. She was into cute nice boys, I defiantly wasn’t that,
Because you know, I was human (she likes K Pop a lot) and as I’ve said, I couldn’t confess my feelings, I kept shut.

I feel suffocated and feel like shit. I don’t know what message I’m trying to convey with this wall of text, but I guess it’s that all; My problems don’t stem from a childhood trauma or family problems, they come from me. That’s what scares me, I’m my own enemy, and my thoughts are it’s henchmen. I want to learn how to box, I want to learn how to cook, I want to be in a relationship, I want to be smart, I want to have style oozing from my goddamn pores, but my mind keeps telling me that you can’t do these things. I wanted to die when I was in grade 8, I said I’d commit suicide, but I’ve overcome these thoughts, however, maybe the world really wants me? Though there are just signs of it, apparently I could have leukaemia, I’m about to find out tomorrow; my white cell count is fairly above normal, but the doctor suggested we do another blood test, and I’ll find out if it was perhaps just a coincidence, or If I really am going to die. I’ve told myself that if I can live, I’ll get rid of PS4 altogether and fill that time with exercise, learning how to box, actually studying, and asking HER out. 

If someone was actually able to read this mess of words (it’s 3 AM, I’m tired) than thanks, it means a lot that someone was able to read me vent. ",5.299563125481144,4.6664077967667446,5.7534093533487285,85.9476505966128,68.03002309468822,8.879484218629717,29.300327174749807,8.07648339933343,1.655400384911471,6512,195,1457,72,96,2100,537,1732,0.138,0.7170000000000001,0.14400000000000002,-0.6549,8,1,3,0,0,2,239.0,12,10,7,16,59,95,11,4,70,5,140,24,10,14,15,282,267,113,3,36,58,4,8,7,11,9,5,19,1,14,86,83,2,10,52,16,2,23,41,34,0,14,94,32,241,61,194,149,38,185,1,3,5,7,185,84,6,24,83,925,327,40,0.0903893081814726,0.0,0.058804617313771415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026708222641366457,0.0,0.0603412236234864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04097855276323472,0.031593690272413065,0.023049191117470117,0.0,0.029880635128124607,0.02106743531219405,0.0,0.07438269896516367,0.0,0.2253381373066238,0.0,0.028307910156856287,0.046335865728355526,0.07547129676760457,0.12856779437646476,0.0,0.02563821459177017,0.033945932437723335,0.031619334119767174,0.07994199767729608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306345304505248,0.10338128857314917,0.0307193079408706,0.0,0.03187330095381495,0.12977064230336555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216850753795867,0.0,0.0,0.0777248347415406,0.0,0.0,0.030581081708068312,0.06253988750735134,0.06295839244404991,0.0,0.030839095682224062,0.026366764237468504,0.06166642984476259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026686032693575827,0.062264211957720014,0.033602657318963614,0.0,0.02725410137856552,0.0,0.02879028583870032,0.0,0.0,0.11361466041476324,0.0,0.07617258351897024,0.04304942655032119,0.0,0.09901706891832418,0.16522838027495748,0.1537701987275222,0.0,0.0,0.25606003602898475,0.08356345889986387,0.11019092663530884,0.0,0.034246884574636885,0.0758142632109395,0.1204876449552829,0.0,0.033191337847534336,0.02983320869548208,0.07993096670960176,0.0,0.026990355287035663,0.0,0.030921835836744193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020195349316399342,0.09550126681111287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450908258960297,0.034012842237492256,0.0,0.03144765128731091,0.0,0.026780723416511252,0.0,0.0,0.08279266648651758,0.04911956684543752,0.06797538447322786,0.0,0.06547216520981086,0.030809730559516708,0.02128154716599808,0.10303918388669482,0.0301979443070406,0.026605138377711186,0.0,0.025301417914484408,0.0,0.0,0.10246100995151856,0.08157987966798715,0.08552854892334928,0.0,0.03054685711103536,0.2118858215064687,0.09846045514332412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030422478055994726,0.0,0.0480985889507664,0.0,0.044297694560319414,0.0,0.04647587119576407,0.0,0.06408670313022663,0.0,0.0590415537003652,0.0,0.0,0.031616124606070134,0.0,0.10208355752908027,0.022915047323410542,0.0,0.0,0.0669110865880606,0.06525520825783644,0.02876227414087468,0.06266456521774386,0.0526163049506108,0.031479196222024955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03248498738629835,0.11532048078260715,0.0,0.03028874013894025,0.0,0.0,0.06027584587464568,0.0,0.0965095089526114,0.030978421042857637,0.0,0.03234809657754432,0.03413115527568164,0.05146131687212562,0.2579427930716377,0.0718812058270868,0.03016515534398625,0.21345054624717585,0.02400952529248421,0.05485802092227634,0.06286384107259743,0.0,0.061855550612680235,0.174465596165121,0.03386712318650963,0.030151528752945814,0.030713505565673687,0.05105771166517992,0.06958610546014711,0.0,0.0,0.06397801756206233,0.0321143252804366,0.024061672758117776,0.10075934534001256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03295707745738683,0.0,0.028396951082505062,0.0,0.022653836888089397,0.12108583671687903,0.1316737323677267,0.02773944359565067,0.0,0.0,0.020016879983313692,0.19305939640796346,0.14801172726118725,0.11959835685398144,0.01756891083072599,0.034629737650071525,0.0,0.11516114335480125,0.0,0.16364908518720508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026022446901423083,0.0,0.0,0.17771318623884708,0.02391560851949076,0.024168283608052208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054374860984171464,0.03363881153210807,0.03464774785343665,0.0,0.0,0.021934830962525586,0.0,0.030704809070518882,0.12841994227234346,0.09882651894512323,0.0,0.058207750938990076
mentalhealth,xsword123,2019/02/19,"what is this disorder? Please can anyone tell what is this issue when I have mental trouble when do something I think it is wrong (watching porn) and I still have the same mental issue when I watch porn every time ( this issue related only with porn ) I'm not dedicated to porn I don't watch it a lot but when I watch it I feel troubles with my brain not something small like I can't study ,I misunderstand people around me I feel pain with my brain that affects my body I can't really descirbe the syndromes exactly but I don't know why I keep watching porn and this really harms me ",2.5671561771561784,4.735869367521372,3.7872416472416472,86.85447552447556,77.54700854700855,6.647707847707848,22.602175602175606,7.686295010490155,1.041776068376068,464,14,92,7,11,151,63,117,0.202,0.762,0.037000000000000005,-0.9598,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,11,9,3,1,1,19,17,8,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,0,7,18,1,5,17,2,8,0,0,5,5,1,2,0,1,7,60,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337392686652888,0.0,0.0,0.14434135508561946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801039570950487,0.0,0.36200969341970135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858295504765022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366121950381487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396841447740335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077044734213136,0.0,0.14411985764109025,0.0,0.0,0.0891093726049733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921471981516502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784790218615806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268033557523717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331680913640508,0.17253123582827146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240931369257437,0.0,0.0,0.1779839642661438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20774549626522085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496507022791681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294873479918184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417198428046042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389447773257766,0.0,0.0,0.09454669645974363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630854257397294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727755918590365,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cheesier_,2019/02/19,"Saddened It's been more than a year since me and her would spend countless nights talking and exchanging compliments, it has also been more than a year since she would make me feel like the most useless person in the world. Calling me a jerk, calling me selfish, saying no other girl would ever want to be with a guy like me, making me sound like a total clown to her friends, saying I stalk her. I couldn't even look at her for more than 2 seconds without her getting mad at me for staring at her, or even say her name sometimes because she insisted I was saying it ""weirdly"" and that I should just stop saying her name all together. When she tried to get rid of me and take me back the next minute I always came back. All this plus more drove me insane and I can't stop crying and sobbing about all of it, it has gotten to the point to where I've written suicide notes in case of me ending the endless pain this has brought on. I've tried telling a few friends about this but a lot of them have mocked me and insisted I should just man up. Her friends have publicly humiliated me, and now I'm left with a broken heart and a lot of sad extra time. I can barely participate in sports currently because of my broken clavicle, my physical health is nearly non existent. My family's financial situation is shaky at best since my dad has been laid off and my mom can't work due to injury. The girl I dated to try and forget about her dumped me 11 days in. My friends have all gotten sick of my dejected personality. Instead of going to parties with my friends I stay home and mope about better days. I'm desperate for anything at this point, and it's beyond depressing to admit that. ",9.2680624465355,6.390392889221559,8.799914456800686,74.46371257485029,61.7245508982036,11.698545765611634,37.92899914456801,9.606745405546679,3.3873873396065015,1331,47,265,18,14,427,174,334,0.188,0.696,0.116,-0.9778,1,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,1,3,17,23,4,1,15,0,23,4,1,2,6,49,41,18,1,7,5,2,1,3,5,5,3,6,1,6,13,18,0,2,2,1,2,4,5,12,0,1,10,9,46,11,46,24,15,42,0,4,2,0,40,19,1,5,21,187,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754477083054254,0.08068461981197336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979588343168302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491238443269294,0.0,0.11822081758099323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017612725019581,0.08575975887808196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19802905293506104,0.11090483898498643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651410281095043,0.12507186360004555,0.0,0.08351785377397772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085884308462696,0.0,0.0,0.12809206685161012,0.08771253773640883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141220664935122,0.0,0.04902961586282241,0.06927350856989713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37458374798194505,0.0,0.1013228973866422,0.0,0.05510879103813954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601294158091814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307178001089627,0.0,0.11490680044065404,0.0,0.0,0.09726617844002106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535533132944172,0.0,0.0,0.14212007705010354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142816902245159,0.0,0.0,0.16487638093529675,0.0,0.0,0.1294529450029545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356701190216785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031258981654213,0.0909973080830902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318011848756316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933633471989945,0.0,0.0,0.18333101472472665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38556172341859657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406372317238528,0.10899538675880148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590320847184867,0.0,0.0,0.10335431460069894,0.0,0.16213812661940116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606656444142652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729073945723165,0.07793869902257547,0.08475375547169049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654245329253869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19750343756472924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05719386721916112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347308448160324,0.0,0.070593400303978,0.0,0.0,0.20664851275428905,0.0,0.0,0.1248876142803961
mentalhealth,AbyssalCoyote,2019/02/19,"Husband ghosted me due to Mental Health Hi everyone, I have never posted online regarding my mental health but feel I need a release from my own mind tonight, so here is my blurb

Tonight after 5 years of marriage my husband who ghosted me emotionally months ago finally decided to dump me over the phone, on the 12th of Feb I had a full mental breakdown, I was escorted by police to the psych ward from my home after saying I was going to kill myself, they could find nothing seriously clinically wrong with me asides my brain went into a kind of psychosis from unending stress in my life and not coping with it for months which is my fault for ignoring, I was given some ativan and a prescription for some prozac to help. Anyways this all started to snowball pre-break down when my 2 dogs vanished just before christmas and I lost my shit looking for them, then one of my horses dropped dead and that really sent me over the edge, usually I could hold it together but one of my dogs was used for ptsd support from an abusive relationship 7 years ago, and in June of this year I was sexually assaulted by one of my patients at work and had to go to therapy for that, my husband was not really supportive but I was so busy with trying to contain my anxiety and stress and raise our 4 year old I didn't really pay much attention. My husband or I guess ex-husband now was a complete raging alcoholic for 4 years of our 5 year marriage, I supported him emotionally, financially and mentally for years without even the thought of leaving him, he finally got counselling (that is great, I supported it) and is sober now but it seems so unbelievable and fucking unfair now I am suffering with something equally debilitating he just dumps my ass and says I am verbadum ""damaged goods"" and ""he can do better now"", it's not as if I can cure myself of anxiety and depression and any intelligent person should know that, I tried to explain it but honestly am not really giving a fuck since he is just showing how vapid and cruel he really is. I guess I just needed to vent, and realize I am not a total piece of shit because I have mental illness. The funny part is I work as a nurse in a psych ward and I deal with some really sad situations and now I have alot more empathy for these people. 

TLDR - Don't let people make you feel bad about yourself just because you have a mental illness, you still have worth like anyone else

I am always happy to chat with anyone who needs some support ",9.976823899371071,7.2792807442348035,9.914854297693923,66.4574386792453,60.21593291404611,13.229727463312367,40.8311320754717,11.602472056035307,4.6664306918239005,1973,81,355,44,20,655,246,477,0.205,0.6829999999999999,0.111,-0.9959,0,0,2,0,0,1,32.0,2,3,2,4,20,34,10,2,18,0,36,14,4,3,3,77,66,34,4,7,18,4,2,1,0,1,8,2,1,1,16,26,1,3,10,2,2,4,9,22,0,3,17,5,59,12,59,45,14,47,0,5,1,3,34,10,5,10,32,256,75,5,0.0,0.08012779502003024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989579477380514,0.07227347063566854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627168436659432,0.0,0.0,0.045989171744984465,0.0,0.10347004834541934,0.0,0.0,0.0945737548514012,0.06929259567244403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056466325184232426,0.0824504663711778,0.0,0.05754621257164241,0.0,0.0,0.059811226652474375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549490642502685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709063825155092,0.0,0.0,0.1079904702644066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972121448383196,0.058247660055866464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056494286058370785,0.15214417534346528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04466747425058118,0.0,0.0,0.06462118892647134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838921903276254,0.0,0.0,0.14816573324685714,0.061810515055801436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504148320886785,0.0,0.06487467568985747,0.07686878868239028,0.0567229267737912,0.05408806922989845,0.07455980505915405,0.14899912600969728,0.0,0.0,0.07199097031198151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377021755552707,0.0,0.0,0.04532943823214365,0.0,0.06783612174757353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482005732951014,0.07042386828035148,0.037166428792866114,0.0,0.0,0.07160799562198424,0.0,0.06915393026712947,0.047767461836483636,0.033039490205016384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679025614124687,0.0,0.07382365010386976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0451420312725533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40891704079270974,0.0,0.06828472329459209,0.0,0.10795960905348467,0.0,0.04971415888725938,0.15043530252992124,0.05215867028709217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489062563200745,0.0,0.07096392070360727,0.0,0.13747888911555456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323423541001295,0.0,0.093769098151564,0.0590499205509059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476866608566491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905319099417296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25994431230735776,0.0,0.0,0.07260686719335463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756056187467714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061565740507263565,0.0,0.0,0.13883777482055612,0.055942352590335136,0.07601639588064314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206312634744028,0.0,0.0,0.047867251511870455,0.0,0.054007588180981066,0.0,0.15493465995514927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38371570195182736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733819683334835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368885919963876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182957153304162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05840864057297746,0.07448238421480917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269157818761438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519071316167037,0.0,0.09846757782406007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394030041334022,0.0,0.3048502614204785
mentalhealth,nekololita243,2019/02/19,"Went off on ddlg no minors on yt-age regression/coping I think you at least need to be telling us that wearing cat ears and keychain tails and using the age regression part of ddlg is ok what I keep hearing is ""if it has anything to do with bdsm I cant do it"" as someone who has been told by counselors that I know a lot about my abuse and what it has done to me I honestly feel like shit when because of my age and because of what I do with my regression and how its closer to ddlg 

I have regressed to an abused 4 year old without control grabbing a small blanket a pacifier and a body pillow is how I don't end up cutting my arm before getting on the bus to go to high school 

Same thing with ears tails j-fashion Lolita knowing I have to go to school tomorrow makes me want to go into the next room and grab a kitchen knife and use it somewhere else 

Life isn't all or nothing so stop acting like it is some of the kids that where abused beaten and raped that survived have a hard time reprograming their brains to think I want a baby doll and that's ok instead of I still want a baby doll but I'm not a kid so I just have to get over it 

Feeling like there is a community of people who get that is comforting it helps get over those I'm to old for that feelings 
Knowing it really is ok let's me get the things I need to fucking cope to live in my continuous hellhole
You don't want me here? Yea well come kill me apparently everyone will thank you including me

This was a copy paste yes I wrote it",2.2516110304789554,3.709365830188681,3.6145911949685576,90.93208998548626,76.23270440251572,6.653313981615868,25.123850991775516,7.321109707123232,0.969104112239962,1186,41,265,14,26,389,177,318,0.073,0.792,0.135,0.9114,1,0,0,0,3,1,6.0,1,3,1,3,13,16,6,0,17,5,27,11,7,6,1,48,62,19,1,7,6,0,6,3,0,1,1,3,3,2,26,15,1,3,8,0,0,6,7,6,1,0,6,9,30,10,39,53,6,35,0,0,0,2,14,15,2,4,17,172,56,3,0.0,0.3736394519896347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650235379792569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281567237415999,0.0,0.0894468447724562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676131618303287,0.0,0.11734536252413792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054900805656796,0.0,0.0,0.11789768014847456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757121090184306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781178482081299,0.0,0.09310248244435808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044382065494943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945097649955806,0.15019124519793514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717899440190797,0.2745965311943092,0.0,0.17922128065058854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416420597742699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847452516841395,0.0,0.07045772508704083,0.11106190666345643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343284033123356,0.11629641213115825,0.0,0.17330870122042993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748927843528187,0.07424726238486892,0.1540646040632127,0.0,0.09282025759253704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936673436792728,0.0,0.0,0.07016642944003561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558858819994949,0.0,0.0,0.11179314702958956,0.0,0.0,0.1008626190797126,0.0,0.22060526717438106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383149288224274,0.1003460931794946,0.07287490863429358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734065693576971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127680794444776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790111406086818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906531290244676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394659076033571,0.08788253848315401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187691176815913,0.09677763233056534,0.0,0.0,0.13967015919049805,0.13470948845174555,0.0,0.0,0.061294581737431734,0.0,0.0,0.10044382065494943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644283656487934,0.18157471615345933,0.0,0.0,0.24800297581762665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945128281825748,0.09744453391622744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013290595539748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769191674349162
mentalhealth,whuuisthis,2019/02/20,"[16F] Bulimia/BED Not sure if this belongs here, but I have Bulimia/BED and it’s ruining my life. I remember it so clear when I started - it was March of 2018 - one day of binge eating lead to the next and before you know it, I’m binging 3 or more times a week. In November of 2017, I dropped a somewhat significant amount of weight - from 130 lbs to 115 lbs in about 4 months. I restricted my calories to 1000 a day, had a few binges here and there. I kept this weight from November 2017 - March 2018 before I gained 15 lbs in about a month due to the binging. I now weigh a whopping 145 lbs and every day I try to not cry because looking in the mirror makes me want to kill myself. My parents recently found out about my disorder, but they tell me they’ll try and help me but they eventually give up and I’ll just hide and binge again. They considered depression but the depression only sets in after I binge. When I binge - I binge insane - sometimes it goes beyond 4000 calories if I start binging in the morning, 1600 if I binge only at night. I used to restrict by forcing myself to fast after a binge yet I would just binge again 2 days later. Now I don’t fast after a binge, but now the binges are getting more frequent - I’ve binged nonstop for these last 2 weeks. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Anyone have advice?",2.910811084825955,4.5337860780669175,3.9615359918891535,88.43844457587025,74.8364312267658,6.972693477526192,25.238425143629602,7.686295010490155,1.2261286245353156,1041,35,217,14,22,337,145,269,0.136,0.797,0.067,-0.9663,1,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,1,4,2,18,5,1,0,14,0,10,5,0,3,2,37,23,19,1,5,13,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,9,4,3,4,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,4,3,33,1,34,17,5,46,0,3,1,0,9,10,0,5,33,136,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184655979469226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380874716855354,0.09434227596206253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224866046412628,0.0,0.22962144944063045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482081152202652,0.3480602977832741,0.0,0.2324203719211237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546350489702938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806134267462192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136796242335778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793763782430525,0.0,0.0,0.07049242895555202,0.12943177663821315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904369796382004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927385525020004,0.0,0.1483018407045502,0.10998139217702983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530109222512403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133025124201114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006308311423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539073384753807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349362754922232,0.1266174071338663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914282636958963,0.2052321686273424,0.0,0.0,0.1498175763273498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322156524582712,0.0,0.15284304056026154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13344367925077802,0.0,0.1910003661702528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271646479890331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792987055050427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867550128353057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320961862327528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653135896238805,0.0,0.0,0.07958190548490003,0.0,0.21645642650774044,0.32860313490545506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584642089678112,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,allindiahacker,2019/02/20,"Advice for Anxiety? So I am a 21 y/o who will soon be graduating from uni and starting my first job soon. The thing that's been bugging me(for almost 2 years now) is that I have a generalized anxiety disorder. I feel anxiety and the thought of things going wrong in almost every day to day life. It's also genetic because my dad and my brother go through something similar too but perhaps on a milder scale, mine becomes crippling sometimes to the extent that I am unable to stop overthinking and overanalyzing.

Sadly the place I live in doesn't have good mental health care options so I wanted help in how to become better at controlling my anxiety and stop feeling so anxious about normal mundane stuff. I read online that meditation was a way amongst other ways 
So to people on Reddit who have dealt with it or have an idea what to do please let me know.

Thank you",6.6179518072289145,7.069698987951809,7.162313253012052,73.27877108433738,65.144578313253,9.77253012048193,34.06987951807229,9.642632912329526,3.29817060240964,696,29,121,13,10,229,119,166,0.142,0.745,0.112,-0.0724,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,3,11,6,0,0,9,0,14,2,0,2,0,23,24,13,0,2,2,2,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,13,6,0,3,5,1,0,2,1,2,0,1,3,2,14,4,18,18,1,21,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,4,10,86,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817688438742272,0.0,0.0,0.2626937264692659,0.0,0.0,0.1048958474769808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40137587825738497,0.14818369859992953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995943966795184,0.2897318360103877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600837155862408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373559555068815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471172509345821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918638081376264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033110325345567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051558778084666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264603279673126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157233285960354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909279574788956,0.11001838172122437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942657382830834,0.0,0.0,0.08791985396876446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807389937814192,0.0,0.0,0.13016504933531464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208708334911881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341292477377481,0.09264858407497556,0.0,0.0,0.11582468044203074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321875581445746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851782601279044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093610838554596,0.0,0.1370437466336415,0.14398423523569973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120455318985905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098034840366513,0.12972955133750766,0.0,0.0928421336540078,0.0,0.0,0.21932640999402267,0.0,0.0,0.15015718832038144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076284454876718,0.0,0.0,0.17428578604620995,0.0,0.0,0.1041335795164248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736690827999501,0.20823178402765585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143412772544303,0.0,0.08446857214877905
mentalhealth,EzioisReal,2019/02/20,Kinda floating and don’t know why I just don’t seem to understand people at all. I’ve been feeling lately like I’m watching a sit com play out in front of me and when I try to interact it goes horribly wrong. Lately the more I look around the more I feel just weight crushing me down. Ive been dealing with some pretty dark thoughts and I guess I just want some one to talk to. I get that I’m weird and awkward but I just want some one to be my friend.  ,1.8047959183673468,3.1433665714285723,3.034438775510204,95.12573979591835,77.16326530612245,6.124489795918367,22.45408163265306,6.6274283507984215,0.2861591836734698,356,10,84,3,8,115,65,98,0.093,0.7609999999999999,0.147,0.6187,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,0,6,1,0,0,1,26,19,6,0,2,5,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,6,1,0,1,2,3,0,2,3,5,12,3,12,15,6,10,0,0,2,0,4,5,0,6,4,52,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18488628940500432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411713548085595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21002651467672964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045917892424125,0.0,0.10850837101500062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22879166898151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141398543914796,0.0,0.4685620608222916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146583149503814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744055530043537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814694316925014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439846597730452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129328917646328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890712905500217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693169042919628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488101683494705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410064709475824,0.0,0.0,0.21621045882765602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244999443326917,0.0,0.0,0.252907946337726,0.0,0.0,0.18740605233136653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22707414720622374,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SJ0823,2019/02/20,"Has anyone taken themselves to the ER for suicidal ideation? How do you know when it’s time to go to the ER? Has anyone ever taken themselves to the ER when struggling with suicidal ideation? If so what happened? Were you taken seriously? Were you admitted to the hospital or an outpatient program or something else? 

I have gone to the ER several times for suicidal thoughts, but I was always taken there by ambulance or police escort, so I don’t know what it’s like to voluntarily go. Also, I haven’t been since I was under 18 so I think maybe it will be different now that I am an “adult”. 

How do you know when it’s time to go to the ER? ",2.8970099431818213,4.762516101562504,4.7122443181818205,82.00377840909094,75.484375,8.092045454545454,27.26136363636364,8.841846274778883,2.2309125000000005,503,20,99,11,11,171,67,128,0.099,0.866,0.035,-0.7912,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,4,0,0,12,3,0,1,8,0,15,0,0,2,1,15,30,14,3,1,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,6,0,0,4,2,2,5,0,11,0,11,1,14,17,0,13,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,4,9,72,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122330224239618,0.14694154522578293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469592625864087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450463880870274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752282223797286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15974067747605694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010897589728985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616275627845794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29115669126424115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627560732977317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17741384632025434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950257096084167,0.0,0.14608156527955965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359517903345294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18461588729514944,0.0,0.5795002162295784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315522147276133,0.0,0.1401970461877233,0.3089226476009005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway7779a,2019/02/20,Depressed and worried. I am acting way out of character I am freaked out ,1.5828571428571436,4.33182442857143,3.1542857142857166,84.91571428571432,90.42857142857142,5.6571428571428575,35.57142857142857,7.1686216300943375,3.0475428571428576,58,4,10,1,2,19,11,14,0.461,0.539,0.0,-0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5555933954865707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5120224391816968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6550946501583788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DaBEAST1064,2019/02/20,"I'm terrified of asking for help Hi,
I'm 15 and I think I might have a problem.
I have been experiencing weird behaviors and mental traits for as long as I can remember but since its taken this long to open up and seek help or advice I must be very good at hiding it.
I have Emetophobia (basically a fear of nausea and vomiting) and a really bad fear of abandonment. I also often have suicidal thoughts and as of now 4 attempts. I am very socially awkward and tend to isolate myself from my family as I feel like a disappointment to them. Due to my lacking social skills I am a social outcast  and was often the victim of bullying but that was a long time ago, now most people just ignore my existence. I always find myself feeling hollow and empty inside which I find is extremely painful for me, I usually counteract this by using my PlayStation to escape it. I often feel paranoid when put under any amount of stress  and can convince myself that someone hates me and is out to get me. I have constant and dramatic mood swings that can make me go from angry to sad to happy within the space of half an hour. I struggle to control anger that I often unfortunately use against my parents by belittling their intelligence and shouting at them, I hate doing this and often turn my anger towards myself at the end which lowers my self-esteem and confidence, often these arguments are over stupid things that I somehow see as an attempt to abandon me which is obviously not true in the end. I combat my Emetophobia by constantly washing my hands in case of me getting sick. I also get extremely anxious and paranoid when I have give a presentation, go to a party etc.
This is my first time opening up and I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm looking for advice on how I should go about telling my parents. I am terrified of telling them and then having them verbally attack me and give up on me.
If you have any advice please feel free to comment. Thank you for reading this.",7.1202380952380935,6.96150642063492,7.818888888888887,71.065,64.15873015873018,10.586243386243387,35.1957671957672,10.181067101454742,3.632668783068784,1569,65,274,32,21,525,197,378,0.299,0.602,0.099,-0.9985,3,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,5,5,16,29,7,5,14,0,27,5,1,5,3,61,58,34,1,5,7,2,5,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,18,22,0,4,9,1,1,4,2,21,0,2,5,10,54,8,54,49,4,42,0,4,3,0,21,18,0,11,21,213,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709172237433176,0.08191929899493658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780663932492247,0.07689572341169174,0.0,0.0,0.12568916925950346,0.0,0.0,0.10440134199592256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639447153061733,0.1051340916963656,0.0,0.0,0.07716170170337071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997330749045934,0.10364998696508823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370247624248838,0.0,0.10306586735101964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711954986392345,0.20798253979534556,0.1869088700748692,0.06602047040888183,0.0,0.0,0.16892916297656488,0.0786071706281727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448472616752342,0.1773035648185415,0.15756275594147284,0.07751234990379005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837625803388546,0.0,0.18247908185342215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388610662507668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100902345640327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0451487373990259,0.0,0.0,0.24535003819035456,0.1552087120857137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061686960147880186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313142130914658,0.09803648710355656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833484834277967,0.0,0.2052292802065316,0.0,0.0,0.06406812517866374,0.0,0.0,0.10144265210607177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842757034343511,0.0,0.09290144061397708,0.0,0.0,0.09243885500508893,0.0,0.059202676463378415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468687308831423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736418708040573,0.0,0.09640779661654056,0.0,0.0,0.07644568880791255,0.0,0.0,0.28261283568755796,0.07830195225007199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585974893856476,0.09661101756510554,0.0,0.10108574870307532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154755030242168,0.085082253670663,0.0,0.0,0.0613956532532088,0.05921506133332425,0.0,0.0733662713987558,0.10777451413996356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051972769421896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963178358381944,0.10178079579621356,0.15250220345643048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FuckSparta,2019/02/20,"Weird feeling of hands changing size? I was wondering if anyone else experiences this sensation. Sometimes when I'm feeling really anxious or sad, it feels like my hands are smaller or larger than I know they are. It's kinda hard to explain, but basically it's like whatever I'm holding doesn't feel like the size it is. For example, I was just holding my phone and even though I know how big my phone is and I can see the size of it, it felt like I was holding something incredibly tiny. It feels like my hands aren't my own and everything I'm touching isn't the appropriate size. Another example a couple weeks ago was I was driving and the steering wheel felt like it was huge in my hands and I had to grip it really tightly to keep control of it because honestly it felt like it wasn't really there. Along with those sensations, I also get this weird sense of my vision getting wider. It's like my peripheral vision suddenly becomes much more prominent and it's hard for me to focus on my main line of vision. When I'm like this everything feels like it isn't real, even though I know it's real. Everything I'm touching doesn't feel like the right size, and occasionally when it's really bad I start to feel like I'm not even touching anything at all. I asked my psychiatrist about this, but he had no clue what I was describing, probably because I wasn't able to describe it well enough. It's been happening since I was in middle school and I'm 25 now. It's not that frequent, but I have noticed it only happens when my mood is low or I'm having bad anxiety.",4.131086956521738,5.420299372611467,5.480207698698425,80.08823456106344,71.19745222929936,9.027748546109114,29.894212129603986,9.43228470229965,2.6882804209360285,1249,51,245,28,23,419,143,314,0.084,0.733,0.183,0.986,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,1,16,21,0,0,6,0,26,4,4,2,1,47,58,23,0,1,10,0,22,12,0,0,0,0,0,0,28,10,0,6,16,0,0,1,10,6,1,0,16,23,29,14,21,42,6,20,0,2,1,0,6,9,0,6,22,149,57,1,0.08253733238539321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316436514198467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600507488868207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865475895686683,0.06314083336021248,0.09324369227787248,0.0,0.057712021892432686,0.08456925083951719,0.0679211919166869,0.0,0.07716126405946888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783044991025278,0.10062798347662724,0.0911559989907974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731355360402877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257263656204384,0.0,0.0913259883992856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894935024882845,0.0,0.0,0.08528312797379546,0.0,0.16354538883729355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225376969302292,0.08073734874527994,0.0,0.0,0.3338668417872753,0.3537881204871823,0.2377463480164065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624469913720392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597498088935407,0.0,0.14787447566608586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336297338548325,0.0,0.0,0.13608107802387734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838828577816934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067443617044632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396929997452584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277336055373282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889892042116921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878911079524936,0.2115021144610688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048643088080347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353218683189051,0.06577156776671071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827573426645597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354127087949593,0.08163153220327822,0.0,0.0584203486796997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218502000744592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620646946442058,0.0,0.07421097414960116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950821616508188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Elenorelore,2019/02/20,"What can I expect if I take medication for anxiety problems I've struggled with anxiety issues since pre-school (formally diagnosed from 4th grade onward). 

I've always avoided medication due to the horror stories about how they change people. 

  
As of now, I'm a university student. 

My professor has told me that they suspect that my exam scores are caused by psychological problems. I don't believe that I can get testing accommodations before the end of the semester; therefore, medication seems like the only viable option for the time being. 

Any ideas as to what I can expect? ",8.726764705882353,9.494553245098043,9.202745098039218,59.36235294117648,60.66666666666667,11.505882352941176,38.568627450980394,11.20814326018867,4.893380392156863,469,22,67,12,6,157,74,102,0.188,0.7879999999999999,0.024,-0.9325,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,2,6,0,7,4,0,3,0,14,12,4,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,10,1,12,10,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,5,43,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478867336956121,0.0,0.0,0.12086342307481752,0.0,0.27192801597058786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512363013399634,0.20024238618649856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825790705248265,0.1880162181534217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039359456754334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741723619511575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928573027796715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006370778918912,0.0,0.18550536931883385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683056752942472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5371369567669482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517271219561774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321655023579076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34012982690117305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987363031221806,0.0,0.16179995984936044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702122200458373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580341263218414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363186776715855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363658838644456,0.0,0.0,0.16982993605814628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hotdamn101,2019/02/20,"My family thinks that depression is fake and that it's just because im a teen I want to go to therapy but I can't because my doesn't understand stand. My mom is always putting me down and then when I ask her to stop she says to stop with the sass. I want to die but I know about the domino affect and how it would be bad for my friends but I can't take living anymore. 

So this is all over the place but I'm struggling to even be alive and this is the best I could do. ",0.19285714285714306,1.820841857142863,2.1030952380952392,98.68607142857144,82.80952380952381,5.723809523809526,19.07142857142857,6.742157984588678,-0.16682857142857174,365,9,93,4,10,121,67,105,0.2,0.665,0.134,-0.8338,0,0,0,0,0,2,4.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,1,5,0,12,0,0,2,1,22,21,12,1,4,5,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,2,3,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,0,1,14,2,11,17,2,10,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,64,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304891106150404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19433310038889276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318996011499208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16361288873022395,0.23890272540543336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20564098471732567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15645283040509142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877436051350395,0.0,0.20336867314170373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942536052374815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18472740884990926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139309660781122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136482256003907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21166327799082346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769085395139223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303042606178468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294982323311323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20472957731137684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969872712823822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582999411015366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276516026034807,0.0,0.2048530205795452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473325563291996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22408976946536155,0.0,0.0,0.12555901473411055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20399438100308911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23115676299181406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919966017309493,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway196818928,2019/02/20,"Throwaway Account may as well my life too Hi all, 

My entire life I've been depressed and unable to coop I really feel alone and I push people away. I'm very angry person

If you have tried teraphy courses, medications and nothing  helps is a quiet death better, besides once my parents are gone no one will really be here so I feel it would be even more depressing by then. I really think at this stage whatever I do won't be enjoyable, considering that I can't share it being that I can't have any relationship last. Seriously need a reason to stay alive please hit me up with what keep you up in this life. 
Thank you. 

",3.5217073170731723,5.265326414634148,5.036268292682928,80.86269512195125,73.47154471544715,8.497235772357724,24.49512195121952,9.120678840339163,1.9415600000000004,491,15,96,11,10,165,92,123,0.198,0.708,0.093,-0.9176,1,1,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,3,0,1,6,8,0,0,2,0,16,4,0,1,1,14,25,7,1,3,1,1,2,0,0,4,4,1,0,1,7,4,0,1,4,0,1,2,4,3,1,1,2,3,14,5,10,14,2,11,0,2,0,0,9,5,0,2,2,63,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815835154052804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922680903853725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472332822742453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550604507077896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30201381668413313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580031169595098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17729887381159734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751645160944585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558366502176211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429130318528692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715110645315216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662119148694225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000104449837568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822877945094375,0.0,0.0,0.18671508492772726,0.11880455505411495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19467733253754874,0.0,0.0,0.12154807245742187,0.15308676660460768,0.0,0.1924538730308921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369524793355648,0.18026299324586686,0.0,0.18823311578105603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868728039145052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141542935997286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234098930540444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903396358138033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446612400780206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763796213784198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454563750708747,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kentaureus,2019/02/20,"Sleep problems if my roommate is away Hi, i developed this problem - it happens only if I consider roommate as friend - if he happens to not be in here, i cannot get to sleep - my mind turn to crazy things like what he is doing? maybe he is cooking something and my mind go crazy over some cooking thins and simply cannot stop - this only happens if my roomate should be here, but isnt for some reason - partying/sleepover somewhere else

it happened with three different roommates so far - first was very weak - only unable t oget sleep for one two hours before i fell asleep, the second and third are worst, essentialy getting to sleep only for about a hour/two of cumulative time, it asnt all roommates because i got roomie for a year who i essentialy only saw sleeping after partying and it didnt happen with him

Please help? I fully know it is my fault and i shouldnt tell him - you need to sleep here as a prisoner.. but i really want to get to sleep - i asked if he plans to do this regularly and told him about my problems with sleeping a bit, but i hope he doesnt think i am crazy",5.552731847591659,5.811338112149535,5.938411214953272,81.80691229331418,67.41121495327103,8.640690150970526,30.947519769949675,8.384062270229773,2.1990047447879224,852,31,167,11,13,274,120,214,0.126,0.779,0.095,-0.8351,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,6,9,0,0,5,0,18,12,9,1,1,35,37,17,0,13,9,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,11,9,2,1,3,2,0,2,7,6,0,6,5,2,22,3,24,28,5,13,0,0,1,0,16,5,0,8,7,109,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841204885357861,0.0,0.07880357087151202,0.0,0.0,0.05112958200325205,0.0,0.07137167135993082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157006401660008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763179820463532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006701984517558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134425611196077,0.0,0.0,0.06480182036097691,0.0,0.13146408974514612,0.0,0.04766824503737229,0.0,0.06708271020900865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37085309165213226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05621982097270286,0.0,0.0,0.08330706176472767,0.1652004779229647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04609565117989836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04097721694327625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426397558255531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693802115584248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219244495445265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056836049118309986,0.3189545865039891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206985183026377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407718981178823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537326414163421,0.0862377400737617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6714866960651871,0.0,0.0,0.06457127545994484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012347580121249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331067707266592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572299797657645,0.05374388198544372,0.0,0.0,0.048908340534953305,0.0,0.0,0.08014640847486236,0.0,0.0,0.09123220107798484,0.16386788937571636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920587634745941,0.04947180342517539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401291960415807
mentalhealth,GreyPotato421,2019/02/20,"I've been having sudden, vivid, memories I've been having memories of the time when I was bullied. The memories are random, and extremely vivid. A lot if the memories are bad, but some aren't. I talked to my closest friends about it, and they thought it could be PTSD, but the symptoms don't match. Some of the memories include the suicide of one of my friends, a mental breakdown, one of my other friends defending me, that same friend sitting and talking with me, and the fight I got in that led to my family moving away. 
If you want more info, just ask. I really want to know why it's happening and will give as much info as I can if you need it. 
Any ideas why the memories are happening?",5.7318430656934325,5.690445277372266,6.420136861313868,79.53487682481753,67.02919708029195,10.353649635036495,33.183394160583944,10.125756701596842,3.18815401459854,541,22,108,12,8,178,79,137,0.097,0.7709999999999999,0.132,0.6369,0,0,0,0,1,1,19.0,0,2,1,0,3,6,1,0,10,0,14,1,0,1,0,27,24,13,1,7,6,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,2,0,2,5,2,14,4,14,16,6,9,0,0,2,0,12,3,0,7,3,79,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987084126420334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104297885917453,0.0,0.15179715698284588,0.0,0.13490137820901926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289977984628662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15231062931676184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.499303876173227,0.0,0.0,0.15498942303879087,0.0,0.0,0.12921958459261704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857456551702696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238904687589136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879278846120235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373581617827811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282115106100453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171974686735236,0.11877005504629805,0.11979960077305199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189634448003359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188862731586306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350371327053733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672765784453587,0.0,0.0,0.16792957987735604,0.0,0.25972225660832826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826584830641133,0.09421079481359727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19059235584641854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915774871051566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skinschamps2000,2019/02/20,"The Sea Monkey Chronicles [https://imgur.com/gallery/UZEQzNM](https://imgur.com/gallery/UZEQzNM)  I have been watching this guy(not me) do daily logs on Sea Monkeys. As a kid I could never get them to live past 2 days, following this is amazing and one of the best parts of my day. It is mesmerizing and hope you find this as fascinating as I have, I almost feel this needs to be a documentary. Enjoy. ",6.2027292110874175,9.62965294029851,5.226439232409383,74.63940298507465,71.83582089552239,7.410660980810236,24.49680170575693,8.418075326091056,1.8072831556503202,325,10,53,6,7,97,51,67,0.0,0.758,0.242,0.9559,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,1,0,4,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,0,1,9,13,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,8,4,8,10,2,6,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,4,39,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866451384618657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30040916847781296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22855300344238225,0.0,0.0,0.369224299384986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474019211830955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26163380575591816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955752126182506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834395368127639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843178928624145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527702660344391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122560143982709,0.2207791246855047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19397522108725412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099885465223628,0.2732647950606079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,15489445,2019/02/20,"Why am I so angry sometimes? Sometimes I just get really energetic and really angry for no reason. I feel an urge to hurt people, grab at people, I even do stupid shit like pretend to shoot a bow and arrow at my sister and it's like a release of aggression imagining actually doing it. I'm just mean but I hold myself back despite what I think. Also I do stuff like throw an arm out randomly or shake a couple times. It's only happened when I've done stuff to reduce the constant worry and over thinking that happens to me, like if I try meditation or even if I read an inspiring article on why I should be myself. Maybe that's my natural behavior, I do suppress every thought, constantly think about the way I look, constantly think about the way my body is positioned, etc, even when I'm alone, so maybe not thinking about that just makes me aggressive? Right now I feel a lot of unwarranted anger, like I just want to punch someone or break something. There's a lot more but im not about to type it out but idk why the hell i just angry like this",3.3621848739495803,5.043446333333336,4.848599439775914,82.30247899159666,73.76190476190476,8.179271708683473,26.162464985994397,8.841846274778883,2.009792717086835,830,29,163,17,17,278,119,210,0.208,0.675,0.118,-0.9625,0,1,1,1,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,20,15,6,1,12,0,9,3,3,2,0,41,26,17,0,4,15,1,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,2,12,2,0,2,3,8,0,0,2,4,22,7,19,22,4,20,1,1,1,0,1,7,2,8,14,108,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.10337261662711207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097117637170704,0.0,0.0847123607317103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814538024873925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766459703548005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434188146483082,0.0,0.0,0.1172097764680643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840339589477237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814019957483746,0.2098977389020165,0.0,0.08925078126302911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712300677462816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534416919327975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734749198843592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340049418092303,0.0,0.11442281811199025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105129360842707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895470776522943,0.0,0.0,0.1801161742866166,0.0,0.0,0.0707092461388335,0.0,0.2128422931576196,0.11538906690669233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805647076764601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687735696658108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059588888101724,0.0,0.13572322617588414,0.10891391147363644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046383129684547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087358512278946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975433384184663,0.08155026063031036,0.209535397535685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24252952255801985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33937904679584296,0.0,0.08409676421381178,0.06176876465907155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719196676944993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062480389839553285,0.16816496008795198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28675664847934945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075772830130026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fuubear,2019/02/20,"Help with handling student mental health issues I teach in a small department at a small liberal arts college. Many of our student deal with mental health issues. I am a friendly and approachable professor of the female persuasion, and students often confide in my about their issues. I talk to them openly, and I try to help them to develop a plan to deal, involving seeking support from professionals, online tools, books to read, or any life pro tips I think would help. I have dealt with you own mental health issues in the past and share when appropriate, emphasizing that many people struggle with these types of issues. I am finding myself in more of these conversations. Today I had a particularly difficult one with one of my favorite students who has decided to take a leave of absence from school. These conversations take a lot out of me. How do I deal with all of the residual feelings I have after these conversations? I feel like I might need to talk to a therapists about other people’s problems. Is anyone else dealing with something similar? I am sure therapists deal with this. Any tips or techniques on how to beat handle this type of situation? ",5.85571911061075,8.181571492822972,6.086045595271603,73.32584857866594,68.52153110047847,8.936785814804391,31.43287362792007,9.478462496947786,3.275887475372924,938,40,149,21,17,299,120,209,0.043,0.838,0.118,0.9387,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,3,2,6,8,0,1,11,0,11,4,0,2,2,31,18,9,0,3,2,0,2,1,1,2,4,0,0,0,9,14,0,0,5,3,0,2,0,3,0,2,1,2,22,5,38,15,4,16,0,0,0,0,22,10,0,5,5,107,31,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529607718252234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441581810284741,0.094392767755148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4748832355400119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695846824109309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931621568865932,0.0658139918078282,0.0,0.0,0.08420041904720517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117540956123085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937731360211428,0.0,0.0,0.1852479804225153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4807719010563862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975468855591682,0.0,0.0,0.06507048679051251,0.0450075350101342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832122992031741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680022149057685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785204601450543,0.09772987861403827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830938878860747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485232826187732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794356749302212,0.12773550504978606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815101367993357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214975307433562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323523897196306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355216069353304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092218939454717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630886722249717,0.0,0.0,0.10454215717234627,0.0868265552260808,0.0,0.13853280332325058,0.14809288586296845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392803955610928,0.0,0.059029866605845235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732356013112387,0.0,0.0,0.06254670744150098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544283091896938,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MoarteInExtaz,2019/02/20,"Don't care to add flair I'm a 28 year old female who is pansexual and polyamorous. I have a boyfriend of three and a half years. We had a girlfriend until the day after Valentine's. ((I'll also add that I have a list of diagnoses: BPD, Major Depression, anxiety, BP2))

She broke it off in the three of ours Facebook message group. Basically said she really cared about us, but we drink too hard and party too much for her. The three if us were in love and our relationship had never been better.

It was out of nowhere. She seemed so happy.

I logged out of Facebook because I hate the lack of anonymity.

My boyfriend is losing his mind. Having horrible panic attacks. He has a welt on his forehead from punching himself all day. He refuses to take one of my nerve pills because he swears that's what caused us to lose her.

I haven't gotten out of bed but three times today. I don't care. As long as my animals have their needs, whatever. As long as they're okay I'm good. I'll be just as depressed in a clean room as a ruined one.

I don't want to wake up tomorrow. Not gonna kill myself. Just wish I wouldn't wake up.

I get it's ""just a break up."" I don't fucking care. I wish my boyfriend would leave and find someone better. I just want to be alone and waste away. It's my fault she left. I fucking hate myself.",0.8633333333333333,3.124490888888893,2.3859259259259282,93.9866666666667,84.55555555555556,5.377777777777778,20.85185185185185,6.742157984588678,0.3140962962962965,1020,32,224,12,30,331,153,270,0.246,0.623,0.131,-0.9851,0,1,1,0,0,3,39.0,7,0,1,4,9,24,6,1,13,1,21,9,3,1,2,36,43,18,1,9,8,0,1,0,1,3,2,1,3,0,8,13,1,1,2,1,0,0,8,14,0,7,7,2,37,10,36,31,4,28,0,6,0,3,28,14,2,2,13,144,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726277136072562,0.0,0.08282140649953802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922743266733931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782086900985653,0.09730332984247422,0.0,0.0,0.12626530821762008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18319078837348074,0.0,0.0,0.13043730062659314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4223682972766677,0.10639044281509907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358254265153094,0.0,0.17840187141694824,0.10511694660225963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145490131978614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946571205489123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914895344106291,0.05410877343688552,0.0,0.0,0.08686594688082817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102475517167658,0.09277447287728906,0.20449926045096725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458003835952893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966106119220816,0.11252437307471448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330466831935904,0.0,0.2317269246916973,0.0,0.0,0.09347203538820632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457177518598684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613266329411393,0.07679261127620671,0.07987620773874875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867471967513297,0.0,0.14035751865404958,0.0,0.0,0.1215119664366173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634680222253497,0.0,0.0,0.11119074116104084,0.0,0.0,0.09851464184653247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428227083398373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775083239332056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786847388963765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060389958709866035,0.0,0.0981681190144427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737301469168007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217139790354588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23819075438638646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357006064169444,0.0,0.0,0.13338575584519305
mentalhealth,Rosie_system,2019/02/20,"Learn more about DID! Hey y’all! Me and my system just started a YouTube channel about our system if anyone want to check it out, learn more about DID, and hopefully some other cool shit!! https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC8c-P7PZgopxLIMHa2EMCug",8.909054054054053,13.101379297297294,4.282364864864864,80.83543918918923,66.83783783783784,5.8621621621621625,22.763513513513516,7.1686216300943375,0.9072756756756766,202,5,29,2,4,51,30,37,0.086,0.737,0.17800000000000002,0.4344,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,1,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,10,5,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,4,2,5,3,3,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,3,1,21,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.380441808467656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5404061674138835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5585026651352734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851111497088313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209195849393364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,off0noff,2019/02/20,"haven't been to classes for a week because of depression I haven't been able to physically get out of the bed for the past month, and in the past week it got way worse so as a result I've missed about a little more than a whole week of class. The past 4 days wasn't intentional, I've been having enteritis for 4 consecutive days so yeah. 

But, I just feel so afraid. It's my last semester of pre-uni before I move on to my degree in September, and my total semesters for this course is 3. Ive had bad attendances for all my semesters basically and I've had warning letters for the first two but I haven't received one yet for my current semester, and Obviously it's coming soon... I got a diagnosis before my third semester, so my attendance at the start was actually so much better but gradually I started to swing back into a depressive episode again so here I am. 

As much as the university knows That i am diagnosed with depression, I feel like they still would not allow me to forward to my degree. I don't know. I really don't know what to do. I'm too afraid to talk to my professors about it because it feels like they're going to be judgemental and ignorant about it. I'm thinking about talking to my uni therapist for an opinion beforehand though. 

If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated, because if I'm not able to continue to a degree then I just know that I'm fucked and that it'll be the end of my life because of my parents lmao ",5.186681681681684,5.3631713918918935,6.530090090090091,77.53442942942947,68.18918918918922,10.361561561561563,31.647147147147145,10.25414643259724,3.0584975975975968,1156,45,237,28,18,394,149,296,0.1,0.823,0.077,-0.5645,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,20,12,1,2,16,1,25,3,0,3,3,37,46,22,0,4,9,1,3,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,13,10,0,1,8,0,0,8,8,9,0,4,9,3,27,3,42,31,7,38,0,4,0,1,6,8,1,3,25,162,40,3,0.220512150818507,0.0,0.10759402496934532,0.0,0.0,0.10774096083405924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497791212021984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709361150759263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478011628834076,0.09205921756738014,0.2688443208383509,0.0,0.18763959885920986,0.0,0.0,0.0975125388345541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497584622496248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221209476285626,0.0,0.2848901885705403,0.11190759566823773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765415707561947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672463536539389,0.1575339246051525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937837614187688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192996507312516,0.057604248749640735,0.0,0.06266106850733365,0.0,0.17636371117790234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24237542239780255,0.08987341714089765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787712672108346,0.10773109839094888,0.11050555287037696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800534748734906,0.117184759320866,0.24315270495729865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471237014696956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242632381515108,0.0,0.3157556991393285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070632865175332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607963531915078,0.0,0.08805064424540858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772393139761004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801580153641307,0.0,0.07064764117704941,0.10832603428892038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770416484048903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751614066198732,0.26532231944806944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230969707229819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123603602820729,0.15664550513877828,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fronzy44,2019/02/20,"I feel so lost I’m new here and just need some advise, I’m a 21 year old guy who’s been struggling with depression/anxiety/suicidal ideation for 5+ years now. I’m in a rough spot now because of how lost I am with every aspect of my life. I left my first college after 2 years and am now at community but I hate it just as much as my old
School and I don’t see myself being able to get anything meaningful out of school at all. All the friends I made at my old school are gone and I have no friends here at home, I can’t seem to find any meaning in anything and I don’t know how to get this cloud away from me. I’ve been going to therapy with a new therapist since July of last year and she helps but I don’t know why I can’t get better I guess I just want some kind of advice or encouragement ",1.5012824675324659,2.625590329545457,3.3924025974025973,93.1318181818182,77.52272727272727,6.846753246753247,22.23051948051948,7.447530270364453,0.5351814935064936,622,17,152,8,14,210,103,176,0.078,0.784,0.138,0.9063,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,11,9,1,1,4,0,12,1,0,3,2,33,33,14,0,2,6,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,3,10,0,0,7,0,0,2,6,4,0,1,6,3,20,5,25,26,5,26,0,2,1,0,8,9,0,5,15,91,23,5,0.11969117857005007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696083444500925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139410581303509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19699128322760087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245380225922713,0.0,0.0,0.07296263152294792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585712084475307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008449801834694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06051945620254168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093955688244979,0.10180925534741768,0.0,0.0,0.18494621531282987,0.0,0.1876011021949048,0.0,0.06802325506565203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185332729769894,0.11851308460463787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817025909668755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022647401374254,0.0,0.12006001112794765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463994390591107,0.13155828309471984,0.09756428550339068,0.0,0.0,0.13004481572802135,0.0,0.08454141911270419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613141206968647,0.0,0.0,0.1132546871746074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037878213414175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798678809250203,0.08874949230827534,0.0,0.2311969722117925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767872730576306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634015881598314,0.09537837285120077,0.10896235368388814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990097797676568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251272075824405,0.0,0.13092272269125338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687729388449804,0.1389706835166105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059695821212073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800267188756048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083087790787053
mentalhealth,AxelAbraxas,2019/02/20,"I feel like there's always someone watching my actions. Hello, and sorry for the paranoid title - I'm super tired and I just can't think of a better one.

​

Ok, so what I'm going to try to say is kind of hard to put into words, so bear with meif I stop making sense.

​

There's this ""thing"" about me that I've always found kind of odd - I don't hate it when it happens, and I don't love it either. Just, every time it happens I'm always curious if it's normal and if others experience the same thing. Haven't asked anybody out of fear I'll look like ""some crazy schizophrenic"" either - In fact this is the first time I'm ackowledging this in the real world.

​

I think it started happening when I was still a kid. Like, 4-10yrs old maybe? I don't exactly remember. I just remember that one day I was alone in the bathroom of school/kindergarten and thought how weird it would be if people were observing me and my actions. Not judging, just observing me in every situation where I was alone. I don't think I gave much thought to it at the time, but ever since then this ""thing"" has been a part of me almost every single time I am not with friends/family/acquaintances.

​

Every time I go to the loo, to the supermarket, to the kitchen, to the cinema - Basically every time I'm by myself I always imagine there's a group of people just... looking at what I'm going to do next. Like an audience of a theatre play.

​

Like there's a secret magical camera that records me when I'm by myself, and there are a few people in a white void watching that video footage. They rarely seem judgmental about what I'm doing, but they always observe it with great interest. Sometimes it's people I don't know, sometimes just the idea of people (so, like silhouettes), sometimes it's close friends and family. The imagery of the white void they're in is always consistent though.

​

When I was a kid I didn't really care about this ""intrusive thought"" that much. It just happened sometimes and that's that. For a few years now, though, I've wondered if this has hindered with my decisions making in any way. Since they almost never seem to judge me about my decisions though, I don't really think it has? So now I'm just wondering \*why\* this is happening, cause it doesn't seem to affect me in any meaningful way.

​

I've been wondering if this is some sort of ""coping mechanism"" if I don't want to stay alone for a long time. But I'm an introvert, I LIKE being alone. I don't have the urge to be around people for my own self worth, so this doesn't make sense either. If anyone's got any ideas, I'd be glad to hear them. Cause I'm really extremely curious about what is happening with me.

​

PS: I'm going to bed since it's very late, but I will DEFINITELY check back and reply to any comments tomorrow morning. Have a good \[time of day at your location\], everyone!",5.447866821525358,5.944900919860629,6.005336817653892,80.40609272164153,67.67595818815333,9.304607046070462,29.707510646535034,9.2995712137729,2.4453361982191253,2304,79,447,42,36,748,233,574,0.057,0.825,0.118,0.9917,0,4,0,0,0,0,119.0,0,1,4,3,38,23,1,1,28,1,41,4,0,7,4,91,93,35,0,10,24,0,2,7,1,2,2,2,2,3,39,19,1,1,25,3,2,7,16,3,0,3,14,10,44,20,58,73,13,57,0,0,6,1,18,17,0,18,37,283,83,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425852704428083,0.1742965781726441,0.0,0.0,0.2100448066316441,0.36468197064410185,0.4089789401319792,0.11444224325913682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02941788318848773,0.0,0.0,0.0374532067516344,0.039331858048715314,0.0,0.0,0.03235094982456732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03720947067793379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04289544499574875,0.0864395442039355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426621882037308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03805674297230556,0.17723835218684816,0.04020182111468668,0.0,0.041154716408372316,0.03966195646328445,0.04734295833352475,0.021272984878509375,0.030056411300708075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035786619467459105,0.0,0.046130031359920484,0.03250490246079025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564247712707166,0.03528819251307986,0.03364900769766605,0.04638478485353517,0.0,0.0,0.2232260174967716,0.0,0.03768845648669074,0.04153761934740905,0.0,0.0,0.047418463738349716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949888588737576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762351178751497,0.02312179869520288,0.0,0.047459310791582617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388057352483755,0.0,0.0,0.037232601821942636,0.07066015826621255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03797183243617445,0.0,0.08425062565953674,0.0,0.042267212433414435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185586355357225,0.0,0.03244869937084432,0.0,0.04474429655728121,0.0,0.04122185506412464,0.0,0.0,0.044147730692008065,0.0,0.05701846715281069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0455601278827316,0.0,0.1750055317427221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04229421408585345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04788741136295863,0.0808576483717388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531927585005803,0.0,0.0,0.03345752793562134,0.0,0.04257934541402196,0.0,0.11490294102213665,0.043890514105030184,0.0,0.0,0.104407756446436,0.047290952081585215,0.0,0.0,0.03564766606328136,0.0,0.16644205488618954,0.047096419773511006,0.029778942704405162,0.04484340195078989,0.033598939217258164,0.035174270235510334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385276542981937,0.10783275112148312,0.12400726444122015,0.10020195926067142,0.1962612568291506,0.04835584217734022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028564284170090482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03471399796883371,0.0248152927793844,0.06678995970627344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03796364590939918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368766243779557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029886906852978307,0.0,0.4089789401319792,0.027093138334319408
mentalhealth,maddie1975,2019/02/20,"feeling like an outlier in my own family last fall i started college and it was extremely stressful for me (considering i have social anxiety and I’d be living on my own). in november, december and february (this week) i have time off so i often go home. i have noticed that every single time i come home i feel unwelcome and don’t feel myself around my family. everyday ends in a fight or me getting sad out of nowhere so i end up just going to sleep at 10pm. i am currently in bed now after getting in a fight with my mom and it’s so mentally draining and i don’t know what to do. i don’t want to cut my family out completely but it’s getting to the point i feel. idk ",0.5134840425531912,2.7348363900709245,3.6638962765957466,84.49031250000003,85.80851063829788,7.78031914893617,24.415336879432626,8.660442795831766,2.1527762411347524,525,22,109,15,16,189,88,141,0.112,0.855,0.033,-0.799,1,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,3,1,4,0,10,1,1,0,0,21,23,11,0,1,3,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,6,11,0,0,5,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,1,4,20,1,20,21,3,28,0,1,0,0,4,13,0,2,12,77,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064567763177235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039296174343302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358509025120038,0.16535313752716488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793637730028476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287522941918145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460173122166588,0.0,0.31896626337202666,0.1126661497870554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471867161666161,0.0,0.1792574227540901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163866261597134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667182549097269,0.12855252483362184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704783651179133,0.0,0.13925846385269355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589318979115615,0.0,0.0,0.1847049216646448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795508432290322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908440464472628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782122676209054,0.16076276484207588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162606159690174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065321644130375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392082755724665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301987071310447,0.0,0.12650330930183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vanduran5,2019/02/20,"I have eating issues... For context: When I was 3-7, my mom and I struggled with finding permanent housing. After a few years of couch-surfing with friends and family, my mom met my stepdad and he adopted us into his house. However, around 2008, I remember my parents discussing money issues and possibly losing the house. After I learned the definition of homeless and watched the ""Night of the Living Homeless"" episode of South Park, I was freaking out and starting overeating.

I gained a lot of weight, wearing XL shirts in 5th grade. I managed to shrink myself by running and starving myself in my middle school years. However, I carried the ""homeless secret"" with me and it caused me to have terrible thoughts, with a mean voice in my head telling me, ""You were homeless. You don't deserve to eat. Only kids with good childhoods get to eat.""

And now, my life is just like Squidward in the ""Just One Bite"" episode. I sometimes cry when I eat, I hide my food in fear of people taking it, and if anyone tries to take it, I hiss like a cat and act like a feral animal. I do have a therapist, but we're dealing with other mental things I'm going through (Anxiety, depression, PTSD, paranoia), and we haven't gotten to this yet.",7.034327759197326,7.01772912173913,6.9065217391304365,77.05817725752513,64.30434782608695,9.163879598662213,37.25752508361204,8.617729084823388,3.2275886287625424,958,45,169,12,13,304,140,230,0.09,0.8590000000000001,0.05,-0.8338,3,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,2,2,0,2,7,11,0,2,12,0,10,10,3,1,0,34,20,16,0,1,4,3,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,6,22,6,0,6,0,1,3,2,6,0,1,6,3,32,5,32,14,2,25,0,2,1,0,16,11,0,2,14,115,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491513921490172,0.0,0.0,0.07761418582190355,0.0,0.0,0.0988140489178738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402817128647685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192892399209693,0.0,0.11443672306718722,0.09560463615662623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4543252151126223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464146720815952,0.12490651152271838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014525183826401,0.0,0.13422234089224902,0.0,0.08575877208941743,0.0,0.05799322121711019,0.0,0.06308418713070989,0.09310201939006613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139186178584505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3842392952898132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317115315183165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840299171885101,0.16268782832588002,0.0,0.09801554499943932,0.0,0.0,0.12418125520144628,0.0,0.094368722960717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091217161081347,0.0,0.0,0.11186247615135994,0.0,0.0,0.2600050734465823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041665241309986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521686513817867,0.08442094230841025,0.0,0.0,0.12325300709444464,0.0,0.0,0.07695382529458672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513647482912255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975373697019427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257420178881334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233851212082407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978241104012848,0.0,0.07856678122727752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604190611953916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16691724263119628,0.0,0.09701939871092936,0.0,0.0,0.1288802277424576,0.07374385251822342,0.0,0.0,0.08812206094670122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536210696202128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352002955632974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516880165403236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296146732959428
mentalhealth,i_made_this_4_1_post,2019/02/20,"I'm not 'depressed'? But I want to die. I have a lot to say, so I'm going to comment it all as it doesnt fit in a post, I'll say when I'm done so please dont reply until you see that.

Right so the next paragraph its going to seem like I'm blowing my own trumpet here - but honest to god thats not my intentions, I just want to try to maybe prove a point of mine? Idk, it might even be a conpletely worthless point but its all I got.",0.4099242424242425,1.3484155858585891,2.824128787878788,96.8561931818182,80.01010101010101,5.758080808080809,20.455808080808087,5.985473137389443,-0.20751616161616132,329,8,86,2,8,114,63,99,0.128,0.76,0.113,0.3197,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,1,3,15,17,9,1,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,3,8,2,11,13,4,11,0,2,1,0,4,5,0,3,4,53,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917772280684566,0.0,0.2159044515583552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128890416317144,0.2438120445197543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740322464587107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364588465497361,0.0,0.16638225580799354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163396455679057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686143229069168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899618243051346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22068915831453784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124447361515096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283567493277847,0.393315108732832,0.0,0.1992372240762244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765825681155864,0.0,0.33087091433449656,0.0,0.0,0.16577463110533833,0.18938458946554101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412401244774259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454054174950409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,myfpilot28,2019/02/20,"Why do cleaning staff relax me... Ok. So I KNOW this is bizarre and I can’t figure it out.

Every day around 2-230 our office cleaning staff come thru. For whatever reason whenever their janitorial cart comes clanking in. The staff start cleaning the offices (sweep, vacuum, dust, trash bags replaced etc...) the sounds just relax me and I have No clue why.

Can anyone explain why this may be? ",1.5220833333333346,4.175684819444449,2.483333333333338,87.94500000000002,96.63888888888887,4.622222222222223,21.277777777777786,6.42735559955562,0.7322277777777777,305,11,54,4,12,96,58,72,0.06,0.8320000000000001,0.107,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,1,7,0,0,1,0,12,12,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,3,6,0,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,7,3,5,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,31,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586809412526505,0.0,0.0,0.22390544037740653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333230921961249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16220909604839262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805104281872393,0.0,0.0,0.21191579968746116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822839132302667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586036594907189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802660595711015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6808709528167449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,82536217914118219,2019/02/20,I hate seeing my therapist I have mdd and I see my therapist once or twice a fortnight for cbt. It's not helping me at all and I really hate speaking to her. It just makes me feel even more worthless because she doesn't take anything that I say seriously and I can't say half of the things I want to say because of this and the fact I'm awful at speaking. I hate speaking to people in general and speaking to a therapist is worse. It's not benefiting me at all so far and it can make me feel worse. Can I just cancel my cbt to do something else? Or will they make me finish the course? (I'm in the UK) ,0.6920035778175304,2.6402450697674453,3.0071317829457382,91.17703041144905,82.7984496124031,6.139773404889684,23.10137149672033,7.321109707123232,0.8563865235539652,470,17,106,7,13,161,71,129,0.223,0.767,0.01,-0.9801,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,4,6,3,0,6,1,8,0,0,3,3,22,22,9,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,7,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,0,11,20,1,13,21,3,7,0,1,2,0,11,6,0,2,1,73,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127473581180835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967340924128855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311053442759415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733792583621922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14903159047819628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364985105317321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878045649246596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951161957884988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15694654723311913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021693041160408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441038330999646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515887848031782,0.0,0.0,0.2348730721516281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345429344805445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080552824576284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5133313307957161,0.09790751877220624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692392187120519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30036965530840626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sad-pickle,2019/02/20,"I’m tired of fighting when I’m trying to heal I recently left my fiancé’s house because he drinks a lot and I was tired of it and went to stay with my family. I thought that it’d be great because I love to be near my family but then I was watching my younger brother and I asked him to wait to do something till our mother returned home and he got really upset so I argued back and it escalated pretty quickly. He ended up saying hat my fiancé loves alcohol more than he loves me and now I feel like shit because not only is that how I’ve been feeling about my relationship but now my own brother is maliciously using that against me to hurt me, I don’t know what to do because I have no where else to go but I’m tired of always arguing and I’m just trying to get better. I’ve had other members of my family do the same and I’m sick of everyone telling me that my fiancé has issues especially just to hurt me, I guess I’m just wondering what I should do? If anyone has been in a similar situation it would be nice to know what you did, it would be appreciated",2.454722222222223,3.871087964285717,4.750833333333336,83.16638888888892,75.60714285714286,7.8349206349206355,25.390873015873016,8.515128840125781,1.6831218253968259,840,29,177,16,18,294,122,224,0.16899999999999998,0.688,0.142,-0.7903,0,0,3,0,2,0,7.0,1,1,0,1,12,14,4,1,3,0,24,11,1,2,0,32,47,17,0,4,8,3,2,1,0,3,6,1,1,0,13,9,2,1,6,1,0,2,3,7,0,0,9,4,29,7,24,30,4,18,0,2,1,3,20,5,1,4,11,122,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380207382194668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639154119437357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100086294979651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082985618969213,0.0,0.0,0.0890769344702884,0.0,0.2824698643792773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245466050382822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348308027340558,0.0,0.0,0.09677285055776537,0.0,0.1026034562277722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069396739318448,0.0,0.0,0.3276224206091611,0.0,0.11714847881043693,0.08275902235834949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060523742072144365,0.0,0.06583685111120355,0.0,0.09265108041430796,0.12771848935573066,0.12761529670165292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162010413852042,0.0,0.0,0.13366849615659268,0.24802693258220576,0.0,0.0,0.1209111054225982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732973581157184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586491432387878,0.0,0.0,0.056595558085489835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848648045897752,0.3136613714258192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881046306883556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785505962414068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421267365655912,0.0,0.11438203751596987,0.1243731711400028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212384921063277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891226681403096,0.0,0.1302135814389572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918241997757519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347435851672832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125281783523983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196724678625634,0.0,0.3994371301224217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573010302947961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005207676420336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738860777729116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256279456641117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645845984553233,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway61267338m,2019/02/20,"Scared to talk to my parents about meds Hi everyone, I'm struggling pretty badly right now and I need some advice. Some background about me: I've had issues with severe anxiety and depression since I was a teenager. I'm currently 23. Last year, I started seeing a therapist for a few months. During that time, we worked on a lot of my issues, and she gave me a ""diagnostic impression"" (not sure if this is the same as a regular diagnosis) for major depression, GAD, OCD, and ADHD. Unfortunately, I had to stop seeing her after I moved out of my parents house, because I moved about 90 mins away. So back to the matter at hand: my anxiety has been MAJOR lately. I don't want to go into full detail but it's to the point where I really think I need to see a doctor to get some medication. Here's the problem: I'm still on my parents' insurance plan, so I need to discuss it with them. Which I'm terrified to do. My parents have been less than receptive to the idea of medication in the past. They're very caring, but they're also very old school. For instance, when I was a kid, they knew i had ADHD, but they fought tooth and nail to avoid putting me on medication. They feared that it would ""take my personality away and turn me into an adderall zombie."" So I'm very worried that if I tell them I want to seek treatment then there's going to be a huge pushback. So basically, my question is, has anybody here dealt with a similar situation, and what is the best way to handle it?

Tl;dr: struggling with bad anxiety, want to get medicated, but worried my parents will push back, what do I do?",4.388205053732213,5.469913677316297,5.867901539355213,78.33297632878306,70.3738019169329,8.88579726982283,28.92375835027592,9.218907990703514,2.437665814696485,1243,46,241,25,22,422,171,313,0.182,0.7509999999999999,0.067,-0.9856,6,1,0,0,0,0,48.0,1,0,5,3,18,15,1,5,18,0,20,7,2,0,1,43,46,21,0,10,7,5,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,11,15,0,2,4,0,0,6,2,11,0,0,10,4,36,4,42,33,11,40,0,2,3,0,22,15,0,7,18,165,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197413410657286,0.08025844146220447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568093205412377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18849226939445446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433143835969976,0.12630887914145447,0.13715358146039944,0.0500669058903314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619246860047135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373904950346232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414803453613223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406558393003254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848064727585237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242133592329647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582116198811184,0.0,0.0933550185523354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476930266215283,0.0,0.09271703273267487,0.0,0.1714489423384528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694854336523423,0.092648475290801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982569074326124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912301385100024,0.3309574037910385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555698014010608,0.17458663953631828,0.0,0.18269951562049627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618371965251727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4559893408823705,0.0,0.07840428901428567,0.0,0.07171449587063188,0.0,0.0,0.07764128897783533,0.0,0.0,0.08355777267593198,0.0,0.07858923341962615,0.0,0.0825653466794976,0.09200663865093754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05261586337357137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014028065611037,0.0,0.0,0.08222846170531628,0.08312197049834029,0.19634571497104375,0.0,0.0,0.09278578393111876,0.0,0.06794044050193858,0.09231981106194848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813345350612616,0.0,0.06559072262000419,0.06866603101544877,0.0,0.1717244018091549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740843957234987,0.0,0.06175304379468768,0.06601459182947679,0.07178698956545718,0.0,0.0,0.09536158425087528,0.0,0.05262687031893088,0.0,0.0,0.04789183065607775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933603300822472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20330250878595754,0.14533074763777787,0.06519255998780506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979307539598669,0.16681806893617454,0.0,0.05834421749710146,0.0,0.0,0.05289031626566821
mentalhealth,NyShawn25,2019/02/20,"I’m not sure what’s wrong with my head So a week ago, I began getting kinda paranoid about my girlfriend because she wasn’t texting me back right away. I began thinking that she’s not as interested in me anymore but so many things suggest otherwise. She loves hanging out with me and has a great time face timing me every night. Yesterday, I accused her of not caring about me as much as she used to (I said this because of my paranoid state). After I said this she started crying over the phone and kept reassuring me that she loves me and that everything is the same. I feel depressed terrible about this but I’m not sure what to do help it. Another thing I left out, I had pretty bad mental health for a few weeks last February too so I’m not sure what that means. Does anyone know this or how I can cure this. I really need someone’s help because this is breaking me inside ",3.9651398601398613,5.265909954545457,4.775227272727276,84.94005244755245,71.61363636363636,7.460839160839161,27.743006993007,7.882392219407189,1.6564716783216782,696,25,138,9,13,225,106,176,0.172,0.67,0.159,0.3237,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,9,13,0,0,5,0,7,5,2,2,3,28,26,13,0,1,8,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,16,7,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,7,3,28,9,19,19,3,23,0,1,0,2,17,7,0,2,13,95,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115317810437765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331451538148368,0.0,0.0,0.13554379706055908,0.0955655783184723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284096409951473,0.1050938032939951,0.1141170091053044,0.2499454477757563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393481639036204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15012987653818072,0.0,0.0,0.11771704163978608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960426294898982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515366702916008,0.0,0.1228337008907026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910643738195399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140647892488976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15068347240703947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026686592918594,0.145277979152405,0.0,0.0,0.1832192868439164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511240866355316,0.11140748132783104,0.0,0.0,0.14849660718826527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467070865245134,0.0,0.0,0.13856589672014571,0.0,0.14887795940093212,0.0,0.0,0.1377351590090911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004710525058945,0.10134197525430606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825920950644887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904650543932667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755680888171258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671877556610535,0.26001637996887444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158033635939659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673849960668857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864406387108077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160015050617995,0.08757512527812658,0.0,0.0,0.15939131641640195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180423791763974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192631391284264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943146925159315,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saltyjay32,2019/02/20,"Something inside me, trying to get out Does anyone else feel like they have something inside of them? Some days i get extremely numb to everything, almost feeling empty, and emotionless and then without warning it changes to anxiety with the feeling of something trying to get out, it makes my mind race, feels like something is pushing up on my skin trying to pop out, I get irritable and angry and try to stop it but nothing works, and then eventually it stops. I occasionally think I hear voices or see shadowy figures, but I write it off as my mind tricking me. But mostly that anxious feeling where it feels like something is about to crawl out of my skin is the worst. DAE experience this? Other than this feeling my mental health fluctuates, one day happy and positive, the next week I’m super down about life and thinking about suicide, and some times angry, and the next week I’m positive again for a day or two. Maybe an obvious question but Should I be seeking a therapy? I don’t like to take medication so I don’t really want to see a psychiatrist. ",4.812167085427134,6.817072713567843,5.5671576633165865,77.30138976130654,70.60804020100502,8.19108040201005,31.030464824120607,8.841846274778883,2.772740954773869,846,37,146,16,16,275,115,199,0.135,0.688,0.177,0.8183,0,0,5,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,2,2,7,9,1,0,8,0,8,6,2,1,1,45,29,19,1,2,7,0,9,4,0,1,4,2,0,0,10,14,0,2,11,0,0,1,3,3,0,2,0,13,17,6,28,27,4,23,0,0,2,0,5,9,0,7,17,97,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280163640130148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853651027653344,0.11597937193869197,0.0,0.07178398762298678,0.10518983491627018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086032830891414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862640465268314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984062130168867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857613222094349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226641034954612,0.10042359725060816,0.0,0.0,0.3633646144445724,0.2200262720785187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145476180665588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928611071775632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912540729482482,0.1157080675140761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725135402446344,0.20062279305062825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852799741824858,0.0,0.10313825215560476,0.0,0.0,0.10342164015836727,0.10345962556318852,0.0,0.2073196623955531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21836540784987984,0.0,0.0,0.09850741095211736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956674812654061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500546433759333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657682085502347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636173972663768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951729338875116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166084745496354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229608185489612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771894026344307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740348414826506,0.0,0.0,0.1315639337857993,0.0,0.0,0.05986331316238652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788043188814713,0.0,0.10028631795375616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055298602970945,0.0,0.1646992854782925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989629597362168,0.0,0.07473950250673685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,henfattig,2019/02/20,"I need help! I'm a 16 year old male and i really need help. I have a therapist but its not helping.

To start off: My parents got divorced 1 year ago and mt mother has been diagnosed with cancer and has a 50% chance of surviving. 

I believe i am suffering from depression. I dont have any feelings except anger. I get mad at the smallest things. And often want to rip my hair out. I dont have motivation to do anything either. I need help because i want to fix this but i cant seem to get any help:/ 

How have you guys dealt with this?",0.2458173076923061,2.446908705357142,2.52,92.34038461538464,86.94642857142857,5.946153846153848,21.115384615384613,7.321109707123232,0.7100458791208792,413,14,92,7,13,140,72,112,0.24,0.636,0.124,-0.9656,1,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,1,0,2,2,4,2,0,4,0,12,3,1,2,0,22,24,7,0,5,5,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,2,14,0,13,22,1,8,0,2,0,0,11,3,0,2,5,57,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966751681240758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142925339458079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296585324772942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604717096052197,0.0,0.0,0.17751627104213807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135706278197399,0.1599201789260177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693185137433869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796671177422534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463729225765156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601520066270047,0.0,0.0,0.15600926474945426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5280460493488568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35048644007767754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533281432671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749518385491541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100937030855202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343679215086547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115218455811689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829394132258292,0.10467592543096962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858660515159672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029270696156888
mentalhealth,mr_epicbut,2019/02/20,Getting tested for ADHD and depression Any advice not to seem like a total nutcase. Or anything I should expect going into this. Any advice would be helpful! Thanks ,3.7960344827586177,7.08440506896552,4.7340517241379345,74.0348706896552,84.51724137931033,4.279310344827587,24.49137931034483,5.985473137389443,1.4365103448275869,133,5,16,1,4,43,27,29,0.175,0.6609999999999999,0.16399999999999998,-0.1032,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,9,7,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,4,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,13,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34696528392836784,0.5642350808258892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926563117481972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23757823108337056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486597442146112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15083556753882912,0.0,0.1640767484351937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351174803221347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104585790194474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26282465720058457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657992261256118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20508655336088866,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,formercoyote,2019/02/20,"Mind if I vent for a minute? I have a few major fears that are holding me back and I need help. I have social anxiety and cant even talk to my family about things. I barely even leave my own bedroom. What I am hoping to get help on is my fear of failure. Things aren't looking good for me in school, but when the time comes for me to work, I feel like all the energy is drained from me. All I feel is like I'm worthless, then I start ridiculing myself. I'm useless, cant do any schoolwork, cant even get out of bed. Then I start imagining my parents being upset with me. In my family I'm the one my parents expect the most of, and I imagine when they get disappointed in me, and in the future when I inevitably become a mess, homeless, jobless. And then I cry. I feel crying is the only thing I can do. Is this just me being a typical, overdramatic teenager, or is something wrong with me? Please help.",2.3839750445632824,3.773136096256689,4.100877005347595,87.86582531194298,75.7379679144385,6.91180035650624,24.231372549019607,7.554174236665415,1.0435977896613189,698,22,150,9,15,235,103,187,0.229,0.6629999999999999,0.108,-0.9799,3,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,1,9,13,1,3,10,0,19,0,0,0,2,26,34,14,0,4,4,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,9,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,0,4,31,4,19,32,6,18,0,3,1,0,8,6,0,4,13,110,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057128874530047,0.0,0.10188719724230752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024120861074325,0.0,0.0,0.14709386548653727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472825194808997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29259791465183155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639049946565218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511124849522993,0.2997433554022937,0.20202906909573096,0.19029671764820846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087531207095125,0.0,0.0,0.11171039582524916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26781601948942424,0.0,0.0,0.13228410248182698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102511965021994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013625137453874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184299459468734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344802516710238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875599484212697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025052122786567,0.10129422479765543,0.0,0.0,0.2957753719924521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619862298586078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479170202376742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576671665499984,0.0,0.10253336319133287,0.0,0.0,0.18853997554754198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705014736479496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654492891279385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766203482021228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696125288585916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456183715546313,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lukka-123,2019/02/20,"Why appearance is everything? I'm getting sick with getting ’advice’ about appearance over decades. Everyone keeps telling me; you should lose weight, you need to be more pretty to get a boyfriend...

I know!! I was dumped my 2 ex-boyfriends because I'm ugly. 

I'm 33 and I am tired of people pointing out about my appearance. I did two large plastic surgery(requires to stay in the hospital for 2weeks). I stop losing weight at 85lb(I’m short). 

Why people only care about appearance? ",4.268940568475454,7.220330441860469,3.7785271317829485,84.9919250645995,75.97674418604652,7.078036175710594,30.485788113695094,8.167268648758528,2.5408284237726098,382,18,65,7,9,114,64,86,0.221,0.7070000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.9178,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,2,3,4,1,0,2,0,6,4,0,0,0,12,20,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,1,0,0,4,0,3,0,1,2,2,10,1,13,16,1,12,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,4,1,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360361463048932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082975906032169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811323695634999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975814378409698,0.15966596675056074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784541475292885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790902257285416,0.0,0.0,0.09763521946554952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975037637218848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172984558845066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511557058311305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24632892571244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16794256361768573,0.0,0.0,0.1807402573827165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18935790631010013,0.0,0.14852856558677274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552793780312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418970537986786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17354432503962008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4326748615005869,0.0,0.0,0.3206142349855864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hazel_dianne,2019/02/20,"I (F20) feel lost in life and am out of options of what I can do. Hello, 

I'm on a mobile and this is only my second post so i'm sorry about formatting. 

TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, ABORTION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. i'm not sure if i'm meant to put that in but i would feel better that people knew before getting hurt. 


I'm feeling really lost in life. 
I have no savings, no money in general, can't afford my rent, medication or food as all my money that I get goes towards a small portion of rent and bills. 
No matter how hard I try I can't seem to find any work, I am applying for nearly 100 jobs each month and still nothing. 
It's been 3 months since I really bought anything for myself that wasn't basics which sometimes I have to skimp on those too. 

I am going back to school after leaving and going back so many times because of outside factors that basically took all of my attention away and I was so distracted with the stresses of life that school was put to the back of the line. I am so nervous to start up again as I am in the exact same position as I was when I first started and left. 

I am feeling disconnected from my family as I havent lived up to their expectations as I dont drive, don't work and don't have anything to show for my life at 20. 
My mother and are in constant battles with eachother to the point I will purposely ignore her for a week as I know when she rings she always yells at me or tells me what a dissapointment I am. My mother is narcissistic and so is my father. They blame me for a lot of whats happened in their lives and moved onto their new family time leaving me in the dust. I didnt speak to my father as a teenager and don't want to speak to him now as he is a bully and a drug addict. 

I feel like I have no friends that want to take the time to actually speak to me and that its always me reaching out. And I feel most of my friends in.general are just extensions of my boyfriend and will only want to be around me if he is there. I try really hard to make friends but I didnt have any as a child and as a teenager they would use me and then not speak to me again. (Use as in money mainly as I had a job at that point) 

I've got extreme anxiety to the point i'm having panic attacks daily again, my depression is higher than its ever been and I feel like its going to mess with my relationship as I am constantly in a slump and lately, for sex, I enjoy it but afterwards I feel so disconnected from everything and dont even want my partner near me. Maybe it's because of sex in my past I feel this way? I have been raped by a stranger in broad daylight, raped by my ex boyfriend who wouldnt take no for an answer and then I used sex as a coping mechanism for dealing with problems at home. And sex in general scares me as I have been pregnant 2 times, one a miscarriage and one an abortion. I'm still haunted by this. 

I have been feeling extremely suicidal lately and I wonder if there is anything left for me here or anywhere at all. 
Everytime something seems to be going right it just gets ripped out from underneath me. 

I don't know what to do. I feel alone, helpless, and questioning if I even want to try anymore. ",4.858277279956553,4.691969948562786,6.015461422087745,82.12221769657474,68.87897125567322,9.018518949532568,29.656736103029598,8.69343788997812,2.0633037045657323,2500,84,531,37,39,840,276,661,0.185,0.763,0.052000000000000005,-0.9981,5,1,2,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,5,6,29,27,5,5,25,0,57,16,0,6,6,104,109,63,2,14,14,5,13,2,4,5,8,6,3,2,27,36,1,1,23,1,7,9,20,18,0,4,20,19,82,9,103,82,9,83,0,5,0,7,31,40,0,14,34,379,109,6,0.0,0.0,0.06303586214222022,0.07041859854784273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669014274640626,0.0,0.0,0.10749721379040056,0.0,0.0,0.08785427134022089,0.0,0.04941535886605539,0.0,0.06406135037349656,0.0,0.0,0.1594697073774261,0.057503664640142074,0.0,0.07348667409783037,0.060689571795378684,0.1490097909510086,0.0,0.07875359970460001,0.0,0.05496598853644796,0.0,0.0,0.057129445216536276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960951338659633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665950947040086,0.055635984921158406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141082295281405,0.0,0.07491023919587217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532939937803646,0.05843030210170306,0.0,0.0,0.05805424461376764,0.0,0.12178972329716985,0.0,0.35927552375064875,0.09229403544446407,0.0,0.0,0.05903909067446311,0.05494487503052982,0.0781091005014633,0.0,0.14971890305635133,0.0,0.1012454032839574,0.0,0.14684438014984086,0.0,0.05166289944013165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712156208773179,0.0,0.11572970918014527,0.0,0.0,0.06866196554813675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479452467340363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915078819987508,0.0,0.0,0.06742088978034401,0.1282020763708718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099996360059607,0.0,0.14573301078911485,0.13679455486582562,0.1403663375036295,0.0,0.18250276724645534,0.06311616903017267,0.0,0.11407796949708855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102717534281814,0.054916759884635936,0.0,0.0,0.04311797879573853,0.06548966940656828,0.06489483330926378,0.0,0.0,0.06507314171392213,0.06509704222088769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311897809513612,0.06865476345758008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238670886190713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619810970213093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754312641886403,0.09825553366692384,0.0,0.07578886789374455,0.0,0.0,0.06166368664442697,0.04478236658629182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18319079891125487,0.0,0.06186460582707425,0.0,0.0,0.06180914238416944,0.0,0.12987258042491426,0.07236171141026099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241445392484609,0.0,0.0,0.06935136217433653,0.0,0.05516417968846698,0.0,0.0,0.06467133570876478,0.13074813142283698,0.0,0.11761058237315708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343404150801665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049728749783877715,0.06388657298199105,0.0723093417972588,0.09144201434967346,0.0,0.10317205390854384,0.0,0.07399389431920471,0.0,0.0,0.1413139230294957,0.0,0.060880467400880635,0.0,0.0971355110739254,0.0,0.05645928922210545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051281588959975005,0.1506645554998275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717679455745692,0.1315682549023061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16736924245884344,0.0,0.0,0.190500413408578,0.05127287857815471,0.05181459087140358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005103334675239,0.0940525451114777,0.0,0.0,0.09177353918992964,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tangotitus,2019/02/20,"Was told I'm dealing with ""Extraordinary PTSD"" leading into terrible Insomnia, depression, and anger control problems - and now my therapist can no longer see me. Hello and thanks for reading. Looking for advice on healthy habits or resources to handle my above described situation. 

I'll spare the long story, but after many, ongoing overtly stressful situations (that contributed to crushing depression/suicidal thoughts for years), and two major traumatic incidents, I finally decided to stop repression and ""cowboying"" through and pick up the phone to get help. 

My work environment is inherently laden with high stress due to constant stimulus, sleep deprivation, high stakes/physically dangerous situations, and traumatic events - I see people lose everything somewhat regularly (not police or military). On top of all of this, I experienced running for my life about 2.5 miles from an active shooter situation to be extracted by helicopter from a remote area. Guns are not involved with my work at all and I'm gun aversive anyway, so having a .3806 pointed at me was a really shitty experience. There was then a lot of controversial press and ""good old boy"" politics that lead to a wide dismissal of my account, which made me question the validity of my experience yet entranced and disassociated for a long time. I then returned to my normal work to be put on a particularly stressful incident immediately after. I'm plenty used to high stress but I felt like I was starting to buckle, yet maintained my performance and buried it.

Then, a few months go by (this past month), and I experienced a horrible attack on the person I love most in the world, literally found them in a dark alleyway at 3am. This really broke the camels back, and I immediately sought help. 

The help was great and I felt like I finally had a foothold on sorting this all out, yet was simultaneously losing my grip on my emotions and the grief was increasingly overwhelming. After 3 meetings with the therapist, I reignited any progress I had made by accidentally coming face to face with the person that had attacked the one I love. They panicked when they saw me, and I experienced a psychological rupture, unable to take any sort of action either legally or""streetwise"". I began to have violent day dreams/disassociated farther and felt like a failure. For example, I'm usually pretty quick in the shower, maybe 7 minutes tops, and although I am quick I do utilize that time to relax and let go of the pressure in my shoulders. I then found myself planning out crazy violent things and zoning out for up to 20 minutes in the shower. As a side note, I'm not at all a violent person and have only had to defend myself a couple times, in which I felt terrible for it, but have never come close to wanting to hurt someone.

I used to be an insomniac for nearly all my adolescence and early adulthood, but in the past couple years finally found enough peace to rest. Well, now it's back worse than ever and I'll be lucky to get 4 hours of sleep in 48 hours, then eventually fall into hypersomnia and even further mess my internal clock up. I started drinking heavily to ""knock myself out"". I lay there in the violent fantasies and cringing in what I perceive as failure to protect, the cycle never seems to ease up and I can't rest. I told my therapist about all of this on my 4th meeting with him, and then in the time since deteriorated farther. I now have nightmares every time I fall asleep. 

My 5th meeting was supposed to be today, and I was looking forward to getting a lot of this stuff off my chest and hopefully elevating the seriousness of my case in some way. I woke up to a text message from my therapist saying that the sessions paid for by my EAP have come to an end and that I will need to switch over to my insurance to continue service, which I don't have right now and I'm broke. He is a very sweet caring man but it seemed like it was a clean cut, professional dismissal of our time together and the progress I was making. I know not to expect such a thing for free, but it was pretty brutal. I contacted my EAP and they may or may not authorize more help in some form or another. 

So after all that, and sorry for the length, is there any recommendations or advice on how to deal with any of this stuff? I try to exercise with a lot of intensity to clear my head but it just becomes half assed because I zone out and I'm so exhausted. Meditation is harder to maintain focus. The people and things that I love and make me happy are all worried which stresses me out more as I see myself as their provider. 





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mentalhealth,JamMasterJuicyJ,2019/02/20,"I am kind of a mess and I need help I've been struggling most of my life with depression and anxiety and low self esteem.  The problem is in the last few years my life has shaken out in a few ways that I would've rather it hadn't, and it's catching up to me now. I'm paralyzed with anxiety at work, I'm very reserved and reluctant to speak up in groups. I of course then overthink and over analyze and get in my head and that makes it so much worse. 

The difference now, and why I'm asking for help, is that I used to be able to temper a lot of that and get by pretty well. It feels like I've lost that ability now. I'm an alcoholic, my AD stopped working, work is really tough lately, and my friends have mostly disappeared. 

I've been to a psychiatrist and am experimenting with new AD, and I plan to start seeing a GP to address my alcoholism and the damage that comes from that. But what kind of counselor should I be seeking out to help me with all of this? I really need to TALK to someone. I've gone too long trying to medicate and that clearly stopped working. I need a counselor. Any advice is appreciated. ",4.724728633811601,4.831370034934501,5.835573923892702,82.35826419213977,69.17467248908297,9.512289457267624,29.89426076107299,9.424239791934726,2.3675998752339367,874,31,188,17,14,292,122,229,0.165,0.723,0.112,-0.8372,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,6,7,14,1,1,11,0,14,6,1,2,2,39,32,18,0,6,2,0,1,1,1,1,5,1,1,1,14,22,2,2,1,0,0,4,1,9,1,0,5,3,17,5,34,24,7,28,0,4,1,0,9,11,0,3,13,121,31,4,0.12307268129742133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026519977415458,0.0,0.2630545350290576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369364362431697,0.0,0.18830052865557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505634342233464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601621733777657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600232006130247,0.0,0.0,0.12858475727087312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038869810487225,0.0,0.0,0.0622292455842892,0.08792314810996228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508564827540177,0.0,0.1286007926806165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263080774805682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474790720386435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25632251727361777,0.0,0.10032066154935514,0.13883134517216122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738597489839257,0.06012709544066365,0.0,0.0,0.1089154500767959,0.0,0.0,0.13434837002719832,0.10463199251833552,0.0,0.0,0.08215197044106115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398277850439185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047258167781043,0.2737705012012669,0.0,0.1188643625114686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520916230707893,0.0,0.11776393467296466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15768702219048486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807299272028168,0.0,0.12839164774764866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427908347735863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711147727392905,0.0,0.0,0.20578854478902847,0.0,0.12866228843604524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989211593165571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355827189797442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629528132845152,0.0,0.1015478512842547,0.0,0.09768936585211603,0.0,0.0,0.11065712092121578,0.0,0.11105395213990944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583935110923301,0.0,0.1254215766353897,0.08742730166595615,0.0,0.0,0.07925477165918156
mentalhealth,Popzilla12,2019/02/20,"Hey guys im new here, im just lookimg for help or suggestions. What do you think is going on? Hi my name is Phillip, I am 22 years old. I was raised Catholic and my dad is very dedicated to his faith. My family and I go to church every Sunday and I also pray daily. I believe in Demons and an exorcist wrote in his book that there are only demons and angels that roam the earth, also I believe him since he is a catholic exorcist priest so I'm not entirely sure if I believe that human spirits also roam as well. Anyways, I believe I have also experienced evil spirits (Demons) I cannot see them or touch them but I believe I've felt there presence in reality. For example, when I was mowing my backyard today I felt like something was there with me like something supernatural and like I was being watched or something. It does make you feel stressed and uncomfortable and I'm just wondering if it's a demon or it's just all in my head. Not to mention I am suffering from depression, social anxiety,paranoia in public, but I got the auditory hallucinations from Butane hash oil which is concentrated Marijuana. I smoked heavily from about 6 to 12 months and my hallucinations started after I took a large amount of wax(concentrated Marijuana)and which I was hearing loud demonic roars. I hear sounds not voices which I hear from video games, movies, and different sound effects that play in a loop. I also quite often hear demonic growls like a roaring demon. But I think I may have tinnitus because I hear constant ringing in my ears. Is this a demon? Or is it just tinnitus? Schizophrenia does run on my dad's side of the family so I'm not completely sure… I'm just confused about what's going on with me. I also experience constant dissociation. Sorry I know this is very long but I'm seeking freedom.
",3.2877728663719807,5.796819184971099,4.851077864671883,78.4081944916695,76.80346820809248,7.770010200612037,28.384563073784427,8.671277953709913,2.520465419925196,1442,63,260,32,34,483,180,346,0.073,0.833,0.094,0.7308,1,0,4,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,2,2,23,13,1,2,10,0,22,2,2,2,2,48,48,31,0,2,20,2,4,4,0,1,0,11,1,2,15,12,0,0,8,4,0,5,5,5,1,0,10,19,44,8,28,36,2,28,15,2,2,0,27,11,0,11,16,166,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913099605570034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971427362666035,0.0,0.0,0.459414493082811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855073223329862,0.17626078237489765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702419340381634,0.0,0.0,0.08520607882271422,0.0,0.0,0.14273608360722922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871236459089793,0.0,0.0,0.07977499913523023,0.15376281596324542,0.0,0.041235914091771284,0.0,0.15660835207961318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390462478418008,0.0,0.06522580628053053,0.0,0.0,0.08075081440177295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369744777044917,0.0,0.4595837651005218,0.0,0.05466361064522374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618360947358794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044819686098955404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593717371245075,0.0,0.0,0.07217230580997505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05443761311534508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509524786615888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876490539254646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557670870162633,0.0,0.0,0.062025132874855435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674221549374635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498760292793028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746192099083707,0.0,0.0,0.0831335513681144,0.0,0.1883516702581676,0.0,0.09129249754567498,0.0577240067679997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341929061490932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372646971003515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451241532204787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730320860084859,0.0,0.0906089701880383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345804029100644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332641572473149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844132211590433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525177980998384
mentalhealth,throw85246,2019/02/20,"I need some advice! So, a bit of backstory. My girlfriend's housemate has always struggled with depression and other mental health issues. However, at the end of last year she was sexually assaulted in her own room after a date. Since then she's been fluctuating between really bad and borderline coping. At the time we did everything we could for her, took her to a sexual assault clinic, cooked her meals, took care of her etc. She got to a point where she was getting to grips with life again. 

Unfortunately, recently she has started to spiral again. Over the past few weeks she has started having hallucinations of her attacker in her room and around the house. My girlfriend has been trying her best to calm her down when this happens and prove to her that it's not real. She has been to see a psychiatrist who changed her meds slightly, and is hopefully going to see a therapist soon. However, we're at a loss for what we can do in the meantime. Whatever we do it just seems to be getting worse and my girlfriend is really struggling. Of course, we know that it's not the house mate's fault, she isn't to blame for anything. We just want to help her as much as we can but are running out of options.its getting to a point where it's affecting my girlfriend's mental health,

Any advice would be appreciated",6.674698795180722,7.140540566265062,6.9016706827309235,75.14744578313254,65.02409638554218,10.334779116465867,32.66425702811245,10.203070172399654,3.2499577510040165,1047,40,192,23,15,338,138,249,0.091,0.841,0.068,-0.6058,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,7,0,0,2,10,13,3,2,14,0,24,6,0,1,1,33,42,12,0,5,5,0,1,0,5,1,4,0,2,0,10,17,2,0,3,1,0,4,3,9,0,0,9,3,32,4,37,29,7,36,0,2,2,0,34,16,0,3,16,142,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23294759015982636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991779327363196,0.0,0.0,0.08105517070021848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808549359302113,0.10610683538071702,0.0,0.1355989827773805,0.0,0.0,0.09952098402644437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508545820604827,0.0,0.13012763387173282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152497250580273,0.0,0.12609014596087814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516572781323204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266055790038124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556941567883013,0.0,0.13293144541762208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712277582540004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681990802731965,0.0,0.06773999782731108,0.0,0.09532934640756564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540177261852836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533926810030385,0.0,0.0,0.07989240106399864,0.0,0.0,0.1183853145530739,0.0,0.27506490624630364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440628432836442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550522907496854,0.0971580157645238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418937819845837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323962970665223,0.0,0.2402365548675491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876204002361503,0.0883799284573373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378298563568152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253513877765331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566746655348527,0.152715880769054,0.0,0.11768848057036987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899624110453726,0.10850862098089063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859749081208324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873051177174495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24921232486129566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839199242067166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950226254349555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648551056475506,0.08092406661738116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030298375589784,0.0,0.0956092502680824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146761526246087,0.0846711237976814,0.0,0.0,0.07675623580779699
mentalhealth,Bitofawanker_,2019/02/20,"Does anyone else feel like an imposter in their own lives? Like it's hard to accept that you did certain things or said things
Or you felt a certain way
Or what people think about you feels like its based on things that don't sound like things you'd do",3.457115384615385,4.877285096153846,2.6415384615384627,99.27846153846157,73.03846153846153,5.2,18.76923076923077,3.1291,-0.845823076923077,203,3,46,0,4,58,38,52,0.024,0.687,0.289,0.9246,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,4,1,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,2,10,9,3,0,0,3,0,4,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,6,5,7,4,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,4,27,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494917354600163,0.21906014830179707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870950728417717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785998426246333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21620423247499676,0.3054730388487801,0.20527851331967648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19151999247891285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41780138578384296,0.0,0.1887865442233424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821982311290482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033697727441296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5681485349986416,0.13699239507898126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697019959563692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sippinladyjuice,2019/02/20,"Psychosis: a haiku They strapped me to a  
bed and called it treatment,  
I do not feel love.",5.625,5.0948870555555565,4.54111111111111,94.565,67.33333333333333,7.2,34.66666666666667,3.1291,1.3896000000000002,69,3,16,0,1,20,17,18,0.194,0.8059999999999999,0.0,-0.5216,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7024784820752192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478504756505713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6209058131560432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shteepadatea,2019/02/20,"Any suggestions to help boost self-worth? I've got issues with self-worth and lack of it. To clarify, I see self esteem and worth to be different. I am confident as a person, I am confident in how I look and I know I can tackle just about anything if I put my mind to it. My challange is, I have a very ""so what?"" attitude about everything I do. 

For example: I did running start, graduated with an AA at 18, got my Bachelor's at 20, 6 weeks after graduation got my current job which is a real career job. It's a starting job, a stepping stone into my career, but nonetheless it is a good job, pays okay, benefits and all. I also worked 20-30 hours a week while in college doing 15-20 credits a quarter. None of this has been THAT hard for me therefore I have a ""Well anyone could do this."" outlook and dont value a lot of what I do.

So, I know I can do a lot and succeed. But I place almost no value into my accomplishments. Does anyone have any tips on how I can work on that? Journaling prompts? Meditation techniques? I'm open to anything.",2.221032863849768,3.838019765258217,4.5367370892018775,83.61289906103288,76.69953051643192,7.738028169014085,26.387323943661972,8.515128840125781,1.8962563380281687,802,31,166,16,18,280,122,213,0.054000000000000006,0.7959999999999999,0.151,0.9606,6,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,4,9,6,0,0,12,1,22,0,0,3,1,28,32,16,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,11,11,0,0,2,0,3,3,3,0,2,1,5,3,24,6,24,25,5,21,0,0,2,0,4,10,0,4,8,117,35,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237092294658215,0.0,0.0,0.09772750831583968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620754507538488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708975289832976,0.0,0.20112904527581846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975709622131913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767849453441982,0.0,0.0,0.10694265316814383,0.0,0.14322366344247278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098302146413994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249998043931767,0.2932161483931044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947191617258377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191161486869518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034757216961392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755054940691182,0.4850794858829919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432163821378393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262164656692638,0.0,0.0,0.20778909675484347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233924834293614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670492595610784,0.12767849453441982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285004721875263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390963486206741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738177627564806,0.0,0.3824602381294833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729950347314454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083214410761046,0.0,0.0,0.19605138865635907,0.0,0.10987721179868387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779337804821556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Xinpeng,2019/02/20,"Has anyone used Psychiatry Online Canada? What were your experiences? Even going online, it seems impossible to find a psychiatrist who will write Canadian prescriptions. Has anyone tried [this](https://psychiatryonlinecanada.com/) service? What did you think of it? Would anyone be willing to share your experiences using other online services whilst living in Canada?",10.891602564102573,15.72516290384616,9.12076923076923,45.10756410256415,64.19230769230771,9.620512820512822,29.82051282051281,9.725611199111238,4.470989743589744,309,11,29,8,6,94,41,52,0.0,0.941,0.059,0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,2,0,7,13,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,4,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,23,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5278822136162303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621359150567352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4923273520215187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23000511832402498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430194750873396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222130843530389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290942797887315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124826464007375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085500296376632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4346925850400985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876616576620627,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,samslayer100,2019/02/20,Why do I make up stuff in my head and believe them? Whenever I watch a crime show I start to become paranoid like I did something bad to someone. Or that I threatened to hurt someone. Whenever someone dies I seem to feel like I wished for their death. I argue with myself but no use cause at the end I end up believing the thoughts. Then feel like I am a horrible person. Why does this happen and how can I stop?,0.8249999999999993,3.2163295952380966,2.295523809523811,93.56614285714286,86.38095238095238,5.2647619047619045,22.685714285714287,6.742157984588678,0.6566228571428572,322,12,68,4,10,104,59,84,0.279,0.6459999999999999,0.075,-0.9461,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,1,6,1,0,4,0,4,1,1,4,0,15,13,6,2,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,15,3,10,11,0,9,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,2,8,43,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407820341170015,0.0,0.17734880184811333,0.0,0.3618389901315613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496064533592922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666574469571349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405252803443455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28445373059573875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238888560083825,0.22943781345951064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200101061446185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16480215814822727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190499437125564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353549026188827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071888852626953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402129009323226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618666704434027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081785983029882,0.12362289243873754,0.0,0.0,0.1136598683202377,0.0,0.0,0.13425268193410894,0.0,0.0,0.18382651906120806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748316383658334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869019395530566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28979826704056466,0.0,0.18465991642180535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Squidneyjh,2019/02/20,"What’s wrong with me After years of my life being sub par and meaningless throughout highschool. I was lonely, self conscious, anxious, sad . I’m finally in college and have (almost) everything I wanted. I have people talking to me constantly, so many friends who genuinely care about me, people romantically into me. I’m happy for once. Since September (semester 1) to January I was so happy and loving life and now currently I feel unhappy. I still have everything currently but I just am not feeling it now. I’m sleeping more and fatigued more. I want to isolate myself more. I’m getting more self conscious. I have a feeling it might be SAD but I don’t know. Or maybe just plain lack of sleep.",3.2122417582417597,5.979625476923076,4.642197802197803,78.31923076923077,78.84615384615384,7.7142857142857135,30.05494505494506,8.634040054169528,2.992186813186813,552,27,92,13,14,183,83,130,0.207,0.6809999999999999,0.111,-0.9055,2,2,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,1,0,11,6,2,0,0,24,24,10,0,3,6,0,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,3,16,5,11,19,5,11,0,4,0,1,6,2,0,3,9,64,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977066548056715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18025103573573506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626763256721571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724216036592815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867943799163774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24202646806379344,0.0,0.0,0.1747840259668214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327131934817954,0.0,0.08336057896479818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396972119976452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768691535988632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253959564614567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400405871457655,0.0,0.0,0.16176309978143358,0.16029382177417256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926198459210667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699202089962105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22122983671133065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329000348254187,0.0,0.0,0.13198503315882748,0.0,0.31933921951424105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742033516349802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282437680299018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882186162297254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17444766889396762,0.0,0.1027477904843126
mentalhealth,Siptado,2019/02/20,"I need help Im 16 years old and im sad as fuck and im depressed. I feel like i am worthless, useless, will never find a girl that will like me, have social anxiety. So it all started half a year ago during summer vacation when i found out about a game called League Of Legends... I quickly got the hang of the game and i like it alot. I played it 15+hours a day. At that timei had 95 kg and i was somewhat muscular(this will be important for later). So im there playing this game for all my summer vacation not going outside and even forgetting what day it is. So the summer vacation is over and school has started but i am still playing this game so all i do and think about is that game. My grades suffer and i get alot fatter(i am currently at 115 kg so i gained about 20 kg in that period) which is really hurting my confidence and i my social anxiety is getting worse every day. I have no energy to go to the gym anymore and i am stuffing my mouth while playing that game... All my friends are clubbing and going out meeting girls and all i do is masturbate and play league of legends... It is literally all i do every day. I thought about killing myself but i will never really do it because i dont want to die but living isnt that great either to be honest. I feel like there is nothing i can do because i have become so depressed and unhappy...I am addicted to pc gaming and i really need help because this is too much for me to handle. I tried going out with friends once but i found it really crap and all the people made me anxious and dancing makes me cringe very hard. Im 16 and never kissed a girl and i feel like i never will if i keep ' living ' like this. I need some advice on how i can fix my mind and at least try and move myself out of that god damn chair.
Please help... ",1.441402402402403,3.457278062162164,3.279954954954956,89.85278528528532,80.54054054054055,6.273273273273274,22.71021021021021,7.3871296695380915,0.8947147147147151,1393,46,295,20,36,466,167,370,0.147,0.688,0.165,0.7592,1,0,0,0,0,2,37.0,0,0,0,1,18,27,4,0,12,0,37,5,2,3,11,66,61,36,2,5,7,0,4,6,2,5,1,0,0,3,20,26,0,1,8,15,0,7,8,11,0,1,7,4,44,16,29,47,14,41,0,7,0,2,19,10,3,5,30,202,64,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004430036045576,0.0,0.080714068197006,0.07321837786134477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637489265372814,0.09331252832084684,0.08191528365348635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105340632667302,0.09122329381911888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843420631818718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21307618989600946,0.0,0.142283528510922,0.0,0.08572395805603053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680455093496493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054555374756237486,0.0,0.13918520069521592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252924931244649,0.17702465017236133,0.0,0.0,0.0754933174378319,0.0,0.0,0.18112946756970516,0.12763042865051033,0.07636076463901252,0.08630836825702415,0.0,0.18776998896781205,0.0,0.06606137768445759,0.09106487830350596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399182111644309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609162696582108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134265246379607,0.0,0.08842315057720733,0.0,0.44610149843099056,0.0,0.0,0.07341713272500877,0.09138274181333388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421200392631899,0.0,0.14587156179951324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815647509371802,0.055134982997161394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340070111338298,0.0,0.0,0.08778888346876605,0.060719228348808676,0.1837366997750277,0.2548194946807245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925526255773943,0.0,0.08667298415931461,0.08796445606830815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05726323657248687,0.0,0.0,0.0906680907220458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211658253372823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359385347187477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839705780129427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169269536097484,0.0,0.0659630807948723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052925632774934096,0.0,0.06557379576556316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215759952275832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815221867347017,0.04871859650003923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417468818024937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638114860575072
mentalhealth,JustAnotherMask-,2019/02/20,"I think I’m a monster I’ve recently met someone who was... incredibly open. She had several issues she openly confessed to and a jaded past full of skeletons.. but she didn’t hide. It still confuses the hell out of me...


It’s caused me to reevaluate my life in a startling way. So many things that I’ve blocked out because I don’t want to face them. These... monstrous acts.

I’ve had trust issues my entire life, to the point where not a single person in my life knows who I am. I’ve faked almost every interaction I’ve ever had with people. So much so that I thought that was normal, people just pretending to be what is expected and never showing any true emotion. “Everything is ok”, “ I’m fine” that’s the only answer I’ll ever give when asked how I am. What am I suppose to say? “Oh you know, feeling like a big piece of shit today” that’s not an acceptable thing to say.. I could never have the balls to be so brash with my emotions like that. Not even my mother or “brother” have ever heard anything like what I’m writing. That’s waaay more intimate than I’m comfortable with, it’s easier here where  no one knows who I am. I don’t have to deal with you on a daily basis. I won’t have your looks of pity or disgust greeting me every day. It’s just as easy to remove this mask and wear another that can blend in.

But back to the matter at hand, I’ve never been able to get over my trust issues. Sure, I’ve got friends and colleagues that I talk to and occasionally will hang out with. None of them know who I am or even something as simple as the fact that I love anime. It’s not such a weird thing these days, I’m not ashamed of it. But I don’t want to let people close enough to know me. If they let me down and we’re just friends like we are now it’s not big deal. I always plan for them to let me down so it’s fine. It’s less painful that way. 

Where it becomes unstable is in my love life.
I will constantly make up scenarios in my head of everything and anything. Every scenario imaginable, not just the cliché “they’re cheating on me”. Or worse yet I’ll let a relationship start or drag on without any emotional connection whatsoever. Just leading those poor people along for months or even years. Just because I’m afraid to say no, and the crippling thought of never being able to trust someone and dying alone. I keep saying to myself “it’ll be different this time” but it never is. I won’t list them all here, but I’ve absolutely toyed with peoples emotional well-being more times than I’m proud of. I may have even been a contributing factor to a suicide, I hope not.. but I can’t be certain.

I had been talking to someone online for several months, we were just friends looking for someone to listen and talk to. She had told me all about their alcoholic mother who would verbally abuse them on a daily basis. A significant other that just wanted to have sex all the time and an absent father who she had never met. I was a great listener, and I would think of fun and different ways for her to improve her life view and her outlook, so that things wouldn’t feel as heavy. For the most part it worked, she was always bubbly and excited when ever we would talk, and I didn’t know how to feel about it. I didn’t want to seem callous so I employed a technique I often use “mirroring”. I would mirror a portion of her energy and we got along great for the most part. I never really shared much about myself but they didn’t mind or pry. One evening she had mentioned that she wanted to break up with their significant other. I of course encouraged it. They weren’t good together, they always argued and never saw eye to eye on a lot of issues. So I thought it was a good move. Well.. I never hinted at it or suggested it but she took that as a “break up with him and date me” .. that was not I meant. To start, we lived thousands of miles apart... I already knew it was a bad idea. But when she approached me after she had broken everything off she followed it up with “now I can be with you”. I didn’t know how to respond to that, I also felt sorry for her.. that if her life was that bleak.. that she would break up with a person to essentially date her phone.. So I played along, I thought “maybe something will be different, j mean we get along so well”. A few months pass by and she starts throwing around the “L” word and making talk of flying out to visit me for an extended stay, or flying me out to her for a while. It was at this point I had to say something. I couldn’t let her waste her money on me... I was a liar, a con artist, a monster. 
She was a “cutter” with suicidal tendencies before we started talking. After I had come clean about everything and how I never meant for this to get to this point the damage had been done. I’ve never heard from her again. I’ve tried to reach out in the past and have never gotten a reply. I really hope she’s ok. But the worst part of it all is I haven’t given her a thought in years. I’ve pushed it out of my head to the point I don’t even remember her name. 

She’s not the only one I’ve lead on like that, or purposely played mind games of trust that were impossible to win. I can’t stop doing it, the worst part is I know I’m doing it after the fact and I could recognize all the signs and every landmine I’ve ever planted in my relationships. But I can’t stop it or see it when I’m in the moment. 

The person I mentioned at the top of the page, I’ve told them every sin I have and wrote it down so that I could see it. And I think she’s afraid of me now. She says my writing is full of anger and emotion. So much so that it makes her uncomfortable to even read it. I don’t plan to ruin her life in any way, just in case you think I’m starting the cycle again. More so she has similar stories, but not quite as monstrous as mine I guess. She asked me “how do you even breath with all that inside you”. I’m still not sure what she meant, inside me I feel nothing. It’s easier to push my problems away than to face them. Most of my deeds I had written down barely  evoked any reaction to me, while others I admit were still raw. Corpses of the deeds not yet fully buried.

I’m hoping I don’t scare her away, even monsters need friends right?",2.6626917687859475,4.0351663620015685,3.925726162921219,89.47190990795721,74.98123534010945,6.910538090556514,23.062115359307622,7.495366649604159,0.7991248593037561,4823,133,1050,59,101,1580,428,1279,0.123,0.741,0.136,0.8184,6,1,4,0,1,1,139.0,7,7,13,9,74,66,7,6,57,2,103,22,10,12,29,232,194,86,3,24,48,4,6,5,4,13,9,10,1,3,82,64,1,4,35,9,2,15,49,24,2,4,61,24,161,42,160,104,32,146,3,3,8,3,129,61,2,26,67,745,243,7,0.07526352643555681,0.04458748582160778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0402169103298138,0.037682774965670664,0.03897515754764184,0.04152758648389057,0.03009410744927582,0.09393792484466768,0.0,0.0,0.1023635577449442,0.03946018490772038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193546938840455,0.03350024766093683,0.07036123738799882,0.0,0.0707125606099935,0.028936503044355532,0.03142095040704525,0.04587994714431931,0.041561325896556506,0.032021858788001435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03865818697091899,0.0,0.032416431868079666,0.0,0.04066656710961142,0.0,0.09013770241486116,0.0,0.0,0.04853874815474266,0.07759339094470341,0.0,0.0,0.039055828930863734,0.11795154915019455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03851035924090932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21165334261572966,0.0,0.03888367100836095,0.0,0.2236988222255789,0.17020042144792027,0.15853191777808595,0.0,0.13528400908015722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611100076351453,0.02688413916196272,0.0361323941375983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629682764972316,0.0,0.058983129262622586,0.03609981632191221,0.0,0.06312747512031952,0.0601951175445019,0.08297830359879076,0.04145562982688215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724209165078362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213049591148078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04248168011890988,0.0,0.15711113504133492,0.0,0.03344884022303664,0.0,0.0,0.16545146327088708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240513760071049,0.1860629908492047,0.09192489327211996,0.0,0.03322953636716102,0.0,0.06320240660236164,0.0,0.0,0.03199317936316762,0.06792827109235057,0.0,0.0753584824898924,0.038152701364034224,0.03780616420501888,0.04099202227357838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599470648029037,0.0,0.09011194311740248,0.03999660879571877,0.08299102779371594,0.027903475595642355,0.3482872286179767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03687113797355032,0.036108691741724895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650077002216082,0.05724130335863292,0.04004284930030028,0.0,0.0,0.16300612950519733,0.07184755222826797,0.13044563167165232,0.0985758123509732,0.0,0.0,0.14229671960646606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03600851511877953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002601236740209,0.03764194690734855,0.0,0.048215742267355866,0.0,0.03715682624781435,0.08080486080331523,0.04262945185192657,0.032137320171521835,0.0,0.1795577312349281,0.037675959895168434,0.0,0.05997528616752211,0.03425854388328284,0.0,0.08502636196110623,0.03862846416008106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754108341894493,0.08691230953995839,0.0,0.04212567796446992,0.13317977847582932,0.04011045252473188,0.09015832414994424,0.06292367817775144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232608215584805,0.0,0.07093498295826364,0.0,0.0,0.1814819148515687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000348532971504,0.09645165746380872,0.0,0.14937708243087047,0.06583015127672975,0.0,0.03567051136387565,0.07191752485674206,0.04181027358709157,0.025549497011057683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032501760877807755,0.0,0.0,0.11098094475605312,0.1194813681115042,0.0,0.0,0.10150642357758197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03627567684933633,0.0,0.027396371814679462,0.0,0.038349981690391,0.13366262440938145,0.0,0.0,0.04846724341285487
mentalhealth,coolgirlhere,2019/02/20,"Job or sanity? At a crossroads A little background, I have lupus and depression. I work from home as a marketing manager for a firm. I used to love my job but with more responsibilities comes stress. 

For the past 6 months, I’ve been a depressed mess. I’m guessing the stress of my job has caused one flare up of my lupus. I also had a baby over the summer and only took 1 month off because that’s all they gave me paid. 

I have taken 2 weeks off back in October. And just took 2 weeks off in February. Those 4 weeks have been the best I’ve had in a long time. I was essentially a stay at home mom - I have 6 kids in all (blended family) 4 in school. 

I spent time writing jokes (my passion is comedy) and working on a comedy TV show pilot. I cared for my two younger children during the day. I was able to cook for my family, something I had previously been too stressed to do just about every day. 

I’ve asked my boss if I can have a smaller work load and he’s said yes several times but it never happens. 

The issue is that I am really good at my job. I used to love it but I don’t anymore. And the pay is very good. Like extremely good. But when I work, I am miserable. 

My husband makes enough to support us but not much more. I don’t know what to do. I desperately want to quit. 

Any advice?",0.5823946360153265,2.689642759259261,2.9877011494252876,90.22500000000004,84.37037037037038,6.39080459770115,20.42145593869732,7.6298220110432995,0.7241340996168577,995,30,222,18,29,342,152,270,0.107,0.708,0.185,0.9763,4,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,1,6,7,18,0,4,17,1,24,4,0,5,3,30,45,16,0,2,10,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,2,6,8,1,0,1,4,3,3,4,7,0,2,15,1,31,11,31,30,7,35,0,3,0,3,13,15,0,3,17,139,37,13,0.09523046647050827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305810967898018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615576963064556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475998279178778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944430335490594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890276309819009,0.0,0.0,0.07322635048993432,0.0,0.058051608463188624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993849930791326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709380734457024,0.09782792150449957,0.0,0.08203261458257337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283154530710155,0.0,0.1640437224569586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839852857233708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023577525774325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954961698784228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23962439128974994,0.0,0.0,0.10490709519498737,0.0,0.08421198699642522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910478449750983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939586534327564,0.3780061746797817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233617388033759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0465247956408271,0.09544594534465174,0.0,0.08427596609838345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189842807056166,0.0,0.06356707584575537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153277137103597,0.15202409957022733,0.0,0.07000535021373233,0.0,0.0734476065140921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453062866426001,0.07242706099999068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909082557979871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128932324120468,0.0,0.0,0.06100707533646583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905859811708454,0.0,0.0,0.09637831618011393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758332083707824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331306562864137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150300644081517,0.0,0.0,0.3272585327754204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806640481864806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16658895246623506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116091044640324,0.0,0.0,0.09302632821370553,0.0,0.11455052574594934,0.1644970942017567,0.0,0.07857510817942989,0.056169396460613565,0.0,0.22916440796836385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773156551196467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Guydo1,2019/02/20,"pretty negative stuff im(16M) goin threw....... First of all, English is not my 1st langugage and not sure, if this belongs here  
anyway,

  
To my past, i got bullied from 1st to 5th class, 1st-4th was my first years in primary school but it turned out pretty bad, many (even poeple who where cleary older and/or higher classes) bullied me. i asked for help in school, but nothing was done to stop it, i asked my parants but they misjudged the situation (dont worry i still have a pretty good relation with them).So i had go threw ""hell"" and nothing was done,so i had to take it.

In the 5th class i went to a comprehensive school, that went down hill very quickly, the same people from my old school where there and didnt hesitate to go hard on me. Lucky a teacher noticed it and helped me out, and i didnt saw them and/or got bullied again.

After this experience, i isolated myself, i didnt involved in school that much, i avoided conversations with anyone except i had to and i was often just by myself, but lucky i had 2 friends who stand by my side so i wasnt always alone.

i also had times where my motivation went to 0 and below, like i didnt feel joy that much and had some thought  processes like ""They dont care about me, they wont notice when im not at school,etc"" i still went to school and the only times i didnt went is becouse i was i'll. Also i had some suicide thought but went off pretty quick.(so no worries at that point)

Right now many thinks didnt realy change, im still insulating myself, i avoid contact with my classmates, didnt find any new friends and often just by myself. which im used to for years.

i also often feel uncomfortable speaking to strangers or people i dont know, especially when i have to talk about myself or anythink related to me.

Now im here, used to be alone most of the time, sitting at my PC playing games mostly alone (to kill time,enjoying the game) or watch some Videos at Youtube. With no (new) Friends, mostly by myself, just taking the stuff and not realy doin anythink against it.

I didnt seach, if this is has (more) negativ effects on me or else.

i didnt got any proffessional help and often thought to get some, but often decide not to

yeah, im clueless",4.19023513851128,5.254268546697041,4.770260856785953,86.08498052759205,70.82232346241456,7.486839591446838,27.373135425086346,7.717688229018142,1.4510365346461902,1728,58,354,20,31,552,198,439,0.16,0.6970000000000001,0.14300000000000002,-0.884,0,5,0,0,0,1,73.0,0,0,4,4,31,17,2,2,10,1,34,0,0,4,2,72,64,30,2,2,21,0,3,2,3,1,0,1,0,0,17,18,0,3,11,4,0,10,22,5,0,2,38,6,52,12,51,24,12,56,1,0,2,0,21,21,1,20,25,239,69,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738436837703246,0.0,0.14468614551102152,0.05018153391725808,0.0,0.0,0.08202374632018564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042169131244056184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127606818955572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050355109222528095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614885727231997,0.0,0.06379843541395673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343314385168785,0.21204346827801487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503800439578168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725996048566242,0.03983321983932735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899332138947753,0.0,0.0,0.06098761665120332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05512091014565832,0.10259682135762503,0.0,0.0,0.13978267802226302,0.0,0.031508721387369765,0.0,0.06854946266250123,0.05058393943286581,0.1447027387467248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402460325884725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127062310473224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39086141309565453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672246062712342,0.0,0.033143994675939814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892740965529729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228678123559683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866742762190931,0.0,0.0,0.11649272148928805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573533537225295,0.13732333796669316,0.06328366448905723,0.0,0.0,0.045867359919474784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757132252458085,0.08362069186748597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701106081266421,0.0,0.0,0.24542185335219016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05150316099265682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272482134359636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778932230464314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448742641701204,0.05042063728622016,0.0,0.0,0.13807769211973955,0.06596775089736036,0.0,0.05684008230636825,0.0,0.0906890285180892,0.048473717513730516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03864327529375868,0.0,0.14363472530982052,0.14066557142001684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559837011526233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417442488051107,0.0,0.049760858963724085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33543970747203794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249249333671502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767344094155514
mentalhealth,channerflinn,2019/02/20,"Bad Psych Ward Visit I just got out of a very bad psych ward and am worried about my mental health deteriorating from it. It was only 24 hours but it was dirty, full of screaming and laughing patients, and the doctors didn’t do anything to help me or talk to me. Is this something anyone else has dealt with and if so could you give me advice? I’m still really shaky about it and the reasons I went to my hospital voluntarily are still around. Thank you for reading and responding",4.4750303951367805,5.953153159574473,5.0875683890577506,82.50500000000002,70.59574468085106,7.499088145896658,27.258358662613983,7.957251820313856,1.5841933130699086,383,13,75,5,7,123,70,94,0.152,0.745,0.103,-0.4915,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,7,6,0,1,3,0,9,2,0,1,0,16,14,10,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,9,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,4,0,0,5,1,9,2,12,8,1,8,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,3,3,52,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19736256106061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122198735525182,0.20694193828387444,0.16620394488846885,0.1797959512043614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372727105398232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161256459047547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067246589793318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687198602596461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19374784567546174,0.0,0.0,0.1615337075461699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146844637562536,0.0,0.0,0.13537610646629866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988995793711391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035380649205536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536071417994855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202446614394792,0.0,0.12938703217546835,0.20765860295618935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548622727871222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322586702713291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233568299444145,0.0,0.18594666577375252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664624544173007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722803754599765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20511014615162498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deborealish,2019/02/20,What are the signs of schizoprhenia? I think one of my best friend is developing it. What are the signs? ,1.2143333333333324,3.8684931,1.7600000000000016,94.31833333333331,93.0,6.666666666666668,16.666666666666668,7.793537801064563,0.5286666666666675,82,2,18,2,3,25,15,20,0.0,0.687,0.313,0.8299,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6548793747141369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4821228442318738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42285783799251603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998522433250619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bdndjkfkfmf,2019/02/20,"Long boring post to get off my chest. Hey everyone, i kinda need this off my chest, i feel so lonely , i have no one to talk to, I have a gf that doesn't talk to Me, she has her own problems tho.

Today the doctor prescribed me anti depressants, i have an anxiety disorder which causes me to be in constant stress, constantly i feel a pressure on my brain that i can't turn off unless i actively try, i can't just relax like normal people do and it's causing fatigue, trouble swallowing, ect..., he also sayd i have early signs of depression, i gained some of weight recently ,tired and in bed alot, hard to enjoy things.

People talk to me like it's not a real thing "" just relax"" ""just chill"" "" it's all in ur head(duh)"".

But i have felt like this ever since i can remember, I was 6 throwing up on the end of the street on my way to school bcs i was stressed, i was 8 and told my foster parents i was gonna kill myself. I was a stressed 6 year old, i was the only 10 year old with bags under his eyes. This is how I've always been this constant non relenting pressure on my brain,and nobody payed attention.

People don't know what I've been thru or try to reduce my youth.
My mother is a schizophrenic and bpd patient , currently in a criminally insane mentale hospital. She stalked some dude.

I lived with her for 3 years before i went to my foster parents and then she called daily to this day and i slept over in the weekends untill 9.

She fucked me up, imagine hearing people are coming to crucify u at 6 or ur forster brother is going to rape u at 8, or at night ur foster dad is gonna put u in a isolation chamber. Or ur aunt is circumsized and the bible sayd that's not okay let's go tell her.

I was sucidal from -8 untill +-18, i was constantly stressed, and i dropped out at 14 imagine being a 14 year old under constant hard painful stress, and i never knew it was abnormal, no one cared or gave me the guidence i needed.

I'm was fat and was bullied, i never had friends and never went out, i was always so lonely, had my first gf at 21 since 6 months, and it's long distance and not healthy , she has bpd and i get the sharp end of the stick often. I feel like a 15 year old, I'm 22 i feel like a i never progressed, people my age scare tf out of me, i hang out with older people bcs i can pretend that the only reason I'm not as successful as them is time and age.

Today i feel very lonely , for the last 2 weeks my gf stopped talking to me pretty much, doesn't talk about her day and idk.

I have some older friends, no one to talk to about these types of things except my therapist, and honestly I'm just unhappy and i want people my age to talk to. Nothing more or less. No one is going to read this. But yeah. Those were small parts of my fucked up story, but not even half. It feels good to share. I want to feel better. I wish i  had someone irl to talk to.

Bye",1.7390125431972336,3.3486981780366065,3.544787853577372,90.23372600153593,78.03494176372712,6.420081914757455,22.705778830154877,7.24557181361754,0.7338022270574691,2219,67,485,27,52,745,275,601,0.16,0.7879999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9878,3,7,0,0,0,1,77.0,0,0,1,5,14,39,4,8,23,2,45,16,6,4,6,86,82,38,1,7,20,6,12,5,5,2,6,1,1,0,23,26,3,1,15,5,1,9,18,22,0,6,25,14,76,17,73,52,10,89,1,6,1,3,43,30,2,12,53,308,99,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04538093254549238,0.09443688465202582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04341166045820678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04828791869268565,0.0,0.0,0.05018852710608622,0.0,0.0,0.14294290791075984,0.12669789166837472,0.05794551326312089,0.0,0.057857829328743185,0.11659057031116725,0.0,0.04888292202885297,0.0,0.3066192845175118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319484917656284,0.0,0.09775302829235692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650375188372603,0.058083441790724576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052283261186082,0.0,0.0,0.03748116980130451,0.05133133692674651,0.0,0.05422464098434526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20085258702293413,0.08108081011600289,0.054486471939042366,0.0,0.0,0.048269370363359834,0.0,0.0,0.08768591159785072,0.10492424617668107,0.059296423503078975,0.0,0.09675268758859062,0.04759708682224778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166917644923963,0.0,0.058239277519448476,0.0,0.06395852478687514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278266950082183,0.0,0.0311869263231373,0.04625676334758885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580281344816833,0.0,0.1386197410195679,0.0,0.05010905709491007,0.10043945327493428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057188104236716476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04529529043791256,0.0,0.04171592108228856,0.08415506231078539,0.17506859391005938,0.0,0.0,0.05325365792832549,0.05560047355029614,0.05445072949909427,0.0,0.2381877020166284,0.0,0.15381422160049024,0.08631801859924232,0.06038331078896882,0.0,0.12602270322835446,0.06145198175461394,0.0,0.27539086149713976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434839135389915,0.05773257971329258,0.0,0.05429966641884903,0.0,0.057046882726479585,0.0,0.0,0.05676282828333215,0.06459104629659325,0.0,0.0583458520947659,0.05603128215046035,0.0,0.06428382307746923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568141187596663,0.057431470873847826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388418985859792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0480819485439951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744342725086409,0.32502018500692176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648917450030135,0.0495997914345894,0.0,0.0,0.06588818835204929,0.11310149577565748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033089907047796734,0.06522287072721754,0.1075799355601898,0.05422464098434526,0.0,0.07705561644480466,0.06172495366672536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04682260715556565,0.06694225806561557,0.04504350158789802,0.04551939877209738,0.06910313256505615,0.0,0.10521094942506894,0.0,0.0,0.06525679178020746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271755589462207
mentalhealth,o7col,2019/02/20,"Cornucopia of mental health problems. Not sure what they could be. What do you think? ​

* Extreme difficulty fitting in with other people. I spent a ton of time (\~11.5 years) in the hospital as a youngin'. I didn't have much exposure to other kids my age and thus spent more time with older folks. Thus I always got on with older people--always--much better than people my own age. This prevented me from making friends. Even as an adult (28) I struggle to make friends.
* Extreme resistance to being controlled. If I perceive a situation where I will not be able to control the outcome, I mentally seize up, go into flight or fight mode, and descend into madness. This can be something as dumb as an onlien game where I become a rage *beast* when I start to lose due to my perceived lack of skill. If I can't figure out a way to beat them I can resort to wanting to self-harm (i.e. having the urge to stab myself in the arm), destroy things, hurt people, etc. I normally just step away and breathe, but it doesn't change the fact that such things are not healthy--at all.
* I can take-or-leave relationships. Seriously. Moving away from my family for (potentially) forever? No problem. I don't really care. I just seem to lack the ability to properly bond with people. I mean, I get to the point where I enjoy having them around, but there is no fundamental ""roots"" for a bond. It's just like ""Oh, I love you"", but I could just as easily discard them and continue on like they never even existed.
* Extremely competitive. Very, very competitive. Like, I can become toxic. If I perceive somebody better than me, I will do everything in my power to ""one-up"" them.
* Periods of feeling highly empathetic and happy to periods of emptiness, loneliness, and feeling like I should kill myself within an hour, sometimes. Sometimes this will last weeks, others... not so much. It seems to have gotten much, much, much worse as life's responsibilities piled on.
* I feel like extremely good things will never happen to me, even though I feel like, at times, I have the potential. I have an above average IQ and know I can achieve certain things, but it's like my experience in life (i.e. getting better from being ill to only end up in the hospital again after like a week) that made me think that my life is just going to be bad event after bad event, and that there will always be more bad than good.
* I feel like I can't take care of myself. My parents, while they support me, don't really support me in a very stable way. I can't really explain it, but it's like... they don't reinforce their confidence in me. They seem to think that while I am a smart guy, I will just end up living with them four hours away from the city once they move away. I don't have any confidence in myself to hold a job down, but I want to. I forced myself to go back to school and did quite well (high 80s in my programming courses), but am extremely afraid of going off on my own. I still live with my brother, at 28. I want to live on my own, but I just... am apathetic. I can't even find motivation to go out and buy food, so I just eat whatever's here.
* Can't stay interested in one thing for too long. I get obsessed with something, develop a reasonable level of skill in it, then get bored, lack motivation, and stop doing it. This happened with my job. I got bored, demotivated, fired for poor performance. There was just nothing I could find to keep my mind interested in the job, and found myself searching on Reddit, etc.
* Have an on-and-off empathy switch. I can go from crying tears of joy for somebody at their wedding to walking by an old woman who cracked their head on the sidewalk (which actually happened--I only offered help when I saw other people doing so; besides that, didn't care. I just focused my attention on school.)
* Can't learn things that don't interest me. Simple card games can be an arduous task for me if I lack the motivation to learn them. This was shown when my friend tried to teach me SkipBo. I severely struggled to learn the rules and just went through the motions based on what other people did. Talk physics, philosophy, computer programming, etc? I will likely understand it with relative ease.
* Don't have much of a ""filter"". People ask me what they think, I will generally tell them, full-stop. At work this was a problem because apparently how I said things was not very nice (i.e. ""Your code has errors here"" instead of ""There are some issues here, here, and here""), and apparently they thought I had issues with accepting responsibility for my actions.

​",3.6853676336987458,5.8279111311852745,4.647938192720005,82.10476538368363,74.0517836593786,7.749748652413543,26.048709950941802,8.572405195133598,1.932496202531646,3579,127,674,69,76,1162,368,869,0.17600000000000002,0.691,0.133,-0.9892,7,0,2,0,1,1,191.0,0,3,18,17,43,58,6,4,35,0,70,11,3,13,6,129,124,45,1,19,29,2,6,11,3,9,5,1,0,4,40,30,2,6,33,2,4,13,24,21,1,2,20,8,109,37,118,84,21,103,0,2,1,1,44,49,1,9,49,477,149,17,0.04882057369252685,0.0,0.04764183747148543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124525649359833,0.1057941423976652,0.11864468142899835,0.03319966423972481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043460661149037134,0.04564064610949903,0.0,0.1834741442365645,0.03754000765538368,0.1222894193896034,0.029760568586782124,0.10783697601144436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953349020760235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932748580061525,0.0,0.05164569358963507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951284938762046,0.11693776658173745,0.0,0.053627107763708985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995563495703873,0.0,0.0,0.08648107515518819,0.0,0.16334353440900706,0.12898211394447026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043876783666079,0.047755889004909735,0.04602369195752371,0.0,0.12342574476525188,0.13950971040301224,0.0,0.0,0.08924223979140752,0.0,0.05903403149684543,0.05352923916562828,0.11315596239053105,0.0,0.10202693903789928,0.0,0.16647514260015156,0.08189676187372273,0.07809254525239229,0.0,0.0,0.04834004351526349,0.08634374416776178,0.05197040851057386,0.0,0.0,0.05010399334438384,0.05189398688220823,0.0,0.0,0.03272340145257432,0.10316323308329688,0.0,0.0,0.09615686186292058,0.0,0.05226343386897197,0.0,0.0,0.1019119899034968,0.14534065875519675,0.04339396906778052,0.05401273142101328,0.0,0.026830510533109683,0.03979528355458002,0.0,0.05169393840602999,0.0,0.0,0.10345024498477157,0.2623639291211268,0.0,0.12932838301462327,0.04320467142402589,0.0,0.05461773414282122,0.0,0.0,0.04406247383996244,0.046195207259957086,0.06517622407545855,0.0,0.0,0.05317991699276746,0.0,0.0,0.09839931112117638,0.0,0.04929486224831204,0.0,0.0,0.10377708723677664,0.2512211732184851,0.0,0.07530687224915389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04783379662940243,0.04684465715613328,0.0,0.051228979585855636,0.05199231765138163,0.06616416844086845,0.07426049246494489,0.0,0.0,0.054209469560179115,0.0,0.0,0.2369222710042899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04615122234340541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401440869837582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05192668956520143,0.0,0.0,0.09382712888900452,0.05019568081098405,0.0,0.0524150255561094,0.0,0.0,0.046439545380476434,0.0,0.0,0.09881805396574556,0.0,0.13333325015148298,0.050930505732797136,0.05515335204873649,0.0,0.0,0.054876370332253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075168925571872,0.09656959144149198,0.0,0.03455545333768429,0.05203623577220935,0.038988173214957886,0.08163237129506769,0.0,0.10207572741283412,0.0,0.0,0.11080201695261292,0.04601281293744931,0.0,0.07341399124283685,0.03924012784358955,0.04267133326115871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270395388967356,0.1251290093352213,0.04796596577731603,0.03875808220086634,0.08540300737429828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03314596487060308,0.0,0.0,0.05082393896392549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112834480171806,0.08638691778390191,0.07750299797294456,0.0783218388090718,0.0,0.04389555886477841,0.04525716092537028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035541959098385936,0.0,0.04975233545098074,0.0,0.0,0.11864468142899835,0.031438848812604316
mentalhealth,elainemakeitrain,2019/02/20,"Okay Hey everyone, i kinda need this off my chest , feel free to skip, i feel so lonely , i have no one to talk to, I have a gf that doesn't talk to Me, she has her own problems tho.

Today the doctor prescribed me anti depressants, i have an anxiety disorder which causes me to be in constant stress, constantly i feel a pressure on my brain that i can't turn off unless i actively try, i can't just relax like normal people do and it's causing fatigue, trouble swallowing, ect..., he also sayd i have early signs of depression, i gained some of weight recently ,tired and in bed alot, hard to enjoy things. Where i live there is a limit to how much antidepressants a doc can prescribe and he says he normally doesn't to people under 40, I'm 22, and he sayd i should.

People talk to me like it's not a real thing "" just relax"" ""just chill"" "" it's all in ur head(duh)"".

But i have felt like this ever since i can remember, I was 6 throwing up on the end of the street on my way to school bcs i was stressed, i was 8 and told my foster parents i was gonna kill myself. I was a stressed 6 year old, i was the only 10 year old with bags under his eyes. This is how I've always been this constant non relenting pressure on my brain,and nobody payed attention.

People don't know what I've been thru or try to reduce my youth.
My mother is a schizophrenic and bpd patient , currently in a criminally insane mentale hospital. She stalked some dude.

I lived with her for 3 years before i went to my foster parents and then she called daily to this day and i slept over in the weekends untill 9.

She fucked me up, imagine hearing people are coming to crucify u at 6 or ur forster brother is going to rape u at 8, or at night ur foster dad is gonna put u in a isolation chamber. Or ur aunt is circumsized and the bible sayd that's not okay let's go tell her.

I was sucidal from -8 untill +-18, i was constantly stressed, and i dropped out at 14, imagine being a 14 year old under constant hard painful stress, i was chronically sick because of stress, I was unhappy, and i never knew it was abnormal, no one cared or gave me the guidence i needed.

I'm was fat and was bullied, i never had friends and never went out, i was always so lonely, had my first gf at 21 since 6 months, and it's long distance and not healthy , she has bpd and i get the sharp end of the stick often. I feel like a 15 year old, I'm 22 i feel like a i never progressed, people my age scare tf out of me, i hang out with older people bcs i can pretend that the only reason I'm not as successful as them is time and age.

Today i feel very lonely , for the last 2 weeks my gf stopped talking to me pretty much, doesn't talk about her day and idk.

I have some older friends, no one to talk to about these types of things except my therapist, and honestly I'm just unhappy. Nothing more or less. No one is going to read this. But yeah. Those were small parts of my fucked up story, but not even half. It feels good to share. I want to feel better. I wish i  had someone irl to talk to.

Bye",2.149761210353624,3.6067649431279634,3.8841982622432853,88.89638853445135,76.50394944707742,6.828156519625714,23.70546238911168,7.539968504222095,0.9691220318386192,2351,73,510,31,52,790,289,633,0.159,0.787,0.053,-0.9886,3,7,0,0,0,1,83.0,0,0,1,6,17,41,4,9,25,3,51,17,5,5,6,91,88,40,1,8,20,6,13,5,5,3,8,2,1,0,23,27,3,2,16,5,2,9,19,22,0,6,27,16,77,20,74,55,11,87,1,6,1,3,46,31,2,12,51,323,100,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04457758967842808,0.09276514294427382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04264317806217938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03398036412468266,0.0,0.04743311574194718,0.0,0.0,0.04930007918318997,0.0,0.0,0.1404125023191069,0.12445505879045088,0.056919749530486174,0.0,0.056833617795662074,0.11452665937384696,0.0,0.04801758620320035,0.0,0.3011914450857289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189913847399201,0.0,0.09602258350844073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388621092182473,0.057055236418119076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874335616600144,0.0,0.0,0.03681767020532508,0.050422658742673536,0.0,0.05326474491984221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254823451912758,0.07964550046481425,0.05352194088759581,0.0,0.0,0.04741489575907051,0.0,0.0,0.08613367704309473,0.10306685497689384,0.029123372835813482,0.0,0.0950399510474083,0.046754513123407136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986940718229206,0.0,0.05720831350981016,0.0,0.06282631745235231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06167127740529401,0.0,0.030634848756590224,0.04543791633840683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05700090817076126,0.0,0.13616586504267522,0.0,0.09844403193392287,0.04933072641386693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056175748318877165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044493463625551975,0.0,0.08195491404676554,0.08266533159696741,0.17196949262950198,0.0,0.0,0.052310950411266065,0.1092324444133788,0.05348683116788005,0.0,0.2339712529331795,0.0,0.15109136971436093,0.08478999877568953,0.05931439264887955,0.0,0.12379182267901423,0.06036414577504154,0.0,0.2705158342152159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05671058537539742,0.0,0.05333844223823474,0.0,0.05603702674168619,0.0,0.0,0.055758000690375585,0.0634476419325121,0.0,0.05731300147945225,0.055039404541887264,0.0,0.063145857243798,0.0,0.0,0.04432900405320992,0.05580838321184853,0.0564148068283202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222223207098723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047230791720396334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04660357366625873,0.3831199307309379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136283098809947,0.04872176543508155,0.0,0.0,0.06472182170492613,0.11109934917378687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032504142513936164,0.06406828167341963,0.10567553278519436,0.05326474491984221,0.0,0.07569156162340754,0.06063228548062472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04599374345960544,0.03287861602673105,0.044246131995019714,0.044713604746600834,0.06787985429543737,0.0,0.1033484829437342,0.0,0.0,0.0641016022487544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948305107107704
mentalhealth,nouwunnoes,2019/02/20,"Is life worth it??? I’ve been feeling very detached with my life and questioning ‘what’s the reason with everything ?’ It’s meaningless to me right now , I’ve nothing to look forward too.

Legit just being alive for my mom, I don’t want her to be sad. ",1.0114666666666672,3.4625442799999995,2.5280000000000022,91.78066666666668,86.2,5.7333333333333325,22.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.8791333333333333,194,7,40,3,6,63,40,50,0.18600000000000005,0.679,0.134,-0.5931,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,0,8,8,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,5,0,6,5,0,3,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,2,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28242326909997617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158891784744243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4439212712907514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638867728564826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680401098734486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015266869738868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520264750686013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230963412730001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26836363246970263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25928515083222825,0.18534992532480005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tulip-8,2019/02/20,"Just waiting.. I am usually a positive person, but recently (past 6 months) I have turned very negative. Not so much on self imagine. But more on the content/value of life. It is so stressful, last time being this age. Making the right choice for the best possible future. And then when I start thinking about the future I ponder about death. What if I die too early or at a terrible inconvenient time? What if I am upset on the way life planned out? What will I do one someone I loves die? I am not suicidal but I’m genuinely not happy. I am just waiting around for the time I get to move out of the town I’m in currently, so I can meet new people and be in a new scenery. I still have 7 months until I move, but I just feel like I’m waiting. I am not happy right now with my current life. My mind just turns to negative thoughts. How can I help my mind? How can I have value in my last months? Any comments will help. Thanks for reading ",0.9265848214285696,3.165649619791669,2.725714285714286,91.805,84.05208333333334,5.948809523809524,22.16369047619048,7.2636822038024595,0.7942065476190474,725,25,156,11,21,240,105,192,0.225,0.623,0.152,-0.9689,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,16,9,0,2,10,0,17,4,0,3,0,34,33,17,4,2,15,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,5,6,0,3,5,1,0,2,6,3,0,1,1,1,22,6,21,28,3,41,0,0,0,1,7,13,0,3,26,108,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263777382360403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817857253993107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752775319027773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522371694601633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061444168267921664,0.08681391934595198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348918961385289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25872062036569005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629046021942086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19811005423932151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574995302759375,0.0593685386192477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967655338328408,0.0,0.0811155502196266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454011370553242,0.0,0.2909883375759933,0.2583130781450414,0.08933118954037479,0.0,0.0,0.23472956558090785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234510366374488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160045997153207,0.08424667406124095,0.10610658539028224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369955524334846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215528949300599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998634948271883,0.0,0.0,0.2075548489432716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677187284420394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296351003209196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601248845989314,0.0,0.09704603687160343,0.0,0.13920076075524193,0.0,0.0,0.1329231673234693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187929837808416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786511557429357,0.0,0.0964733139354904,0.21257788501391625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643577508211451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383712267567507,0.10026673476386964,0.0,0.0964569275594656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reddragon169,2019/02/20,"I’m 19 and suffer from severe social anxiety because of the shape of my head I’m 19 years old (male) and I have a elongated head shape, long and narrow, the condition itself I believe is called Scaphocephaly. 

I was born with this condition which is extremely rare due to positional moulding of my skull from birth, normally it is treated with surgery from a young age (less than 2 years old) and into adulthood from what I believe it is pretty much untreatable, after becoming obsessed with my head shape it has psychologically scarred me to the point at which I can’t even leave my house without wearing a hoodie without dying from anxiety.

Pretty much my whole life as long as I can remember I was bullied for it, less so as I got older but it still happens nevertheless, I want to progress onto uni and the rest of my life but I am too afraid of what people will think of me/judge me etc, at the moment I am living at home with no purpose/direction in life depressed that my future will hold very little, I really don’t want to be a loser in life with nothing to show for because that’s really how things are panning out right now, I’m also too afraid to get a job because of it.

I regularly cry to myself and think why me, I think I have fortunately pushed past my suicidal phase, I also have no real friends and have always been excluded from friend groups and parties. 

I want to have surgery more than anything in the world regardless of the risks but I don’t believe there is any treatment available for me.

I guess I’m writing this to seek someone’s opinion, or help of some form, maybe from somebody who’s experienced something similar. 

Thanks",6.8876388888888895,6.7892968750000025,7.088958333333334,75.90243055555557,64.625,9.986111111111112,34.96527777777778,9.586721724236666,3.2240694444444435,1320,55,244,23,18,427,174,320,0.128,0.7759999999999999,0.096,-0.872,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,11,11,0,4,12,0,24,9,5,1,0,37,39,19,2,5,6,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,1,17,15,0,1,4,1,0,1,7,7,0,0,4,1,32,4,50,32,10,36,0,3,0,0,9,17,0,4,18,169,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716772806678572,0.08176578671882251,0.0,0.0,0.0668247423300523,0.0,0.15034755046039236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808651413481258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797074494230531,0.10852787672163113,0.0,0.3321388436644969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034131253361728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794138254952136,0.0,0.0,0.08463698577016136,0.0,0.1019853456557092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959337338820832,0.0649042447183203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184125508531554,0.0,0.0513403077114078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859287637229909,0.0,0.10825187566121908,0.0,0.0868969398931256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025500276842129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586611401975019,0.0,0.09856953679419192,0.0,0.0,0.11338660646297108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751456120425496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040502725890574,0.0,0.0,0.2776347742624217,0.0,0.09848907348556958,0.08677131801204171,0.17392591771518678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872213264736054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447469835804108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962805259519226,0.09428957237021122,0.0,0.2062287941189545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380670759142533,0.06812577379351285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289381720989906,0.0,0.0,0.1999451725650815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118490457387095,0.1259043598815284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131704283957686,0.083919245753117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101342810827257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017055054809892,0.08326107673204286,0.07565052535315732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847593307559918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748784720466556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047079731529548,0.0,0.0,0.06528404528412783,0.18889604755781814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108033898848159,0.1738807802366048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867043439756771,0.10971128853233178,0.0,0.18945123141149295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656109747892846
mentalhealth,ReknRalph,2019/02/20,"I debate myself on issues I know would be wrong. I have anxiety and PTSD. I never really suffered from depression until I became an adult and realized that everything i was told while growing up is a lie. EVERYTHING. 

I think about dying a lot. What happens when I die? do I want to die? do I want to live? what would be the best way to die? I go down the list of ways to die that may be honorable or pleasant, or quick, and I always come back to one decision: I'll kill myself. 

Every day I make a decision not to do it - yet.

I think about leaving my family a lot. They'd be fine without me. They'd be better off without me. Maybe I could get away with cheating on my wife. Maybe I would get caught. Maybe she'll cheat on me; then, I can finally get away. Maybe the only way to get away is to kill myself. 

Every day I make the decision not to go through with it - so far. 

I'm not scared. Even with my anxiety disorder, I'm actually pretty calm about this notion of suicide. I think it would be easy.

I'm doing well, I got a promotion at my job I don't want. I have a nice car I don't want to pay for. I have a pretty good life I don't want. 

I constantly argue with myself about how I should keep going- just keep living. I justify my positive feelings with empathy, but I also justify my bad feelings with selfishness.

This is becoming a daily struggle. I'm telling myself that I could just end it all, but then what. I could sleep with my coworker, but what would that accomplish. I could drive my car off the bridge, but who would clean up the mess I leave behind. I know the answers to all of those questions, but I also know how easy it would be. 

It's almost as if I've got this internal struggle of greed vs doing what's right. ",1.2659530441703133,3.2453399805013947,3.398586549940312,88.965504178273,80.94986072423399,6.999793076004777,21.677755670513328,8.052868069273773,1.0902449820931164,1339,41,289,26,35,456,166,359,0.157,0.708,0.135,-0.9443,1,0,0,0,0,4,48.0,0,0,2,5,17,24,6,3,16,0,39,2,1,4,3,71,73,22,8,18,16,1,2,0,0,10,1,0,1,1,20,11,0,2,14,0,2,9,9,15,1,1,5,2,54,9,46,45,5,40,0,2,0,0,10,14,0,8,14,209,74,4,0.0,0.0,0.07016626728134254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199976155371167,0.0,0.0,0.11500047767148695,0.05982846889441465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001011678641816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20266371733809915,0.05528842611219228,0.06003541244399424,0.0,0.07941043506308333,0.0,0.0,0.07545702192967363,0.0635917362985259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193745994158205,0.0,0.07770083646354217,0.0,0.2296325252685266,0.0,0.0,0.09274206308959224,0.0,0.061929340787489164,0.0,0.3731161482755065,0.0,0.0824062586787474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368409108641804,0.0,0.0,0.047490787309352786,0.0,0.12116156826638495,0.0,0.12924229179877406,0.0,0.0677830839983573,0.0,0.07271192091850613,0.0,0.0,0.07876544893367507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026392461699642,0.0,0.12259119265050512,0.06030823314221893,0.11501366642584385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358296145665157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504731452709104,0.07135193246319295,0.12782012590637656,0.15909847103401492,0.0,0.1185468617465366,0.0,0.0,0.15226829574714412,0.0,0.0,0.05078671692197942,0.0,0.0,0.12698208649206916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225751885797735,0.0,0.0,0.09599067965429396,0.0,0.2889420761078904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055455482059425465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048722855515893636,0.05468493491522111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630096544579074,0.0,0.0,0.08404993437884087,0.0,0.08054702531540425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04606245094141061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061404166530538866,0.0,0.0,0.07198674012809803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195422135413931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033577948946955,0.0,0.07864943983388041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628457745074531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382162608482457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870572358240347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120491807389712,0.17121808350055084,0.0,0.0,0.06464879776338138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862249188023573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575412886349389,0.07861387149003399,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MiddleReplacement,2019/02/20,"Sociology project Do y'all think High School affects people with mental disorders? 

 You might be wondering where your answers are going to go. If so, I am a junior in High School, and I am taking a sociology class, and we needed to find a topic that we think is a problem in society. Mine is how high school affects teens mental health.  From the start, I knew I wanted to do something with mental health because I struggle with anxiety. I was thinking about what could trigger it and school popped in my head.  If you have a personal story and are willing to share what you went through that would be amazing. School itself isn't a trigger of mine but the public speaking and some of the people there are. ",5.698026533996682,6.784502268656716,5.9793532338308495,78.71233001658376,67.35820895522386,8.045107794361526,31.30679933665009,8.167268648758528,2.31434759535655,560,22,100,7,9,179,82,134,0.039,0.929,0.032,0.0387,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,2,5,0,0,5,4,0,1,9,0,18,3,1,5,0,32,30,10,0,7,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,6,10,0,0,7,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,3,1,16,2,15,21,1,11,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,5,1,77,22,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142688009185668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285382603930186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542115746352804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369718958787712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923243274338024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584363084879708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265449849662186,0.2540727998376592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3788151534195091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613220429864333,0.12678407677213327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861714467727046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571010123441415,0.10435387036098437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435750299123655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6047661095729419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200670698218212,0.0,0.0,0.0845916965205761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494061170378162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985866871562305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22973671652128394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049168053748266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078946020386242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296064133312128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848983853974062,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Robart19,2019/02/20,"My bf doesn't believe that I love him He thinks I have a imaginary version fabricated in my brain that is my ideal of a bf and not him. He doesn't believe when I tell him that I love him and he even feels cheated on when I tell him that I love him because he thinks I'm talking about my 'imaginary bf'.
Any tips? His self-esteem is very low to a point where he probably doesn't believe that he's lovable in the slightest. I write him a letter and I show affection and everything. So yeah, any help?",1.8976190476190489,3.502590000000005,3.5695238095238118,90.2504761904762,77.57142857142857,6.9523809523809526,25.952380952380953,7.793537801064563,1.3248095238095234,390,15,87,6,9,130,56,105,0.14400000000000002,0.7040000000000001,0.152,0.2071,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,0,5,1,6,4,1,1,0,11,13,7,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,20,4,6,13,1,8,0,1,0,3,26,6,0,0,2,52,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23554292502675198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557172091822392,0.0,0.0,0.5853591949920316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933312822263545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438679083937235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556471458694476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756733422269612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160819826265193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4689175723542885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371541931617753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18672228354757206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066930145396912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391992163529692,0.3027419367421881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193938959517984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289542721453102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,softbabyxo,2019/02/20,"getting anti depressants Getting to 19 and talking more openly about mental health i’ve realised how much of an impact my depression and anxiety has had on me throughout the years. My ex of 5 years used to always tell me it wasn’t normal and i shouldn’t be suffering like i should, but with the anxiety kinda stopping me from getting help i just accepted id be down. i haven’t been really depressed for the whole 6 years, but the waves of around 9 months with a few good months are enough to get to 19 and be fed up with it all. 

i just want to feel better so i can get help from some kind of talking therapy. i’m thinking anti depressants would suit me to kinda calm me down so i can get the help i need? 

i’ve just come to this thread because i’m worried what to say to the doctor (i’m from the U.K.). i have an appointment on Friday. i don’t know what to say or where to start. whether i tell him why i think i’m depressed or just the symptoms and how i feel? this would be the first time opening up to a stranger and i’m worried i’m going to make it sound ‘better’ than it is, as in that i’m fine. because this is what i’ve been used to doing. and if i do that i won’t be given help. 

will they ask me questions? 
what will they ask? 
is there a certain pattern or procedure they follow? 
what are your experiences? 

so i guess i’m just wondering what i should say. and whether i actually put forward that i think anti depressants will help me, or if i wait for the doctor to bring that up and then give my thoughts. 

it’s kind of important that i get this sorted on friday, and i don’t really want to come away empty handed because i’ll just feel back at square one. i’m going back to uni after this, and need to get my mental health back on track soon because i don’t want to compromise my degree

sorry if this doesn’t make sense or anything i guess i’m just trying to get my ideas out. please be nice xx",2.136953906308744,3.5741765310173683,3.637243401759534,90.73647116324535,76.49379652605458,6.6714489811264,23.13023535604181,7.348242739294969,0.7533182795698923,1494,44,332,18,33,494,173,403,0.109,0.767,0.124,0.8172,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,3,3,20,18,0,0,15,0,35,7,1,6,2,78,87,30,0,14,19,1,4,1,0,9,5,4,0,0,22,20,1,2,12,0,0,8,8,7,0,2,7,9,42,11,51,65,7,40,0,7,1,0,22,18,0,16,17,216,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.07416765460048869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324032028730893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628368816683572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254373184862604,0.06765850092872502,0.14210449705759082,0.0,0.07140702206334043,0.1753241144288753,0.0,0.18532211928053405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344363927561684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093916247131926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927659944125705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555839320947312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853108781936262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434520725560474,0.0,0.0,0.11528771969010945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464784290785329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573743823972667,0.07290869849272623,0.08638815189363132,0.06374744415750336,0.0,0.0,0.16745104678217476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157459490203438,0.0,0.0,0.2547149800572112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579777746331702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15829019643011005,0.041769086659713316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037131071625341835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146476147747004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531856558750375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213292321259911,0.0,0.05587071661766088,0.11271005209336588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446649195180431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05150138462635875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342812220694465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640368799348636,0.08514039843014742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737852913783017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813211509430735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507878062661926,0.053795089856612174,0.0,0.0,0.06354164574419649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899588802407516,0.0,0.1221761545248656,0.13285938891631446,0.0,0.08691569113732392,0.0,0.0,0.14609835027506954,0.0,0.060337640322368026,0.04431777536268095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160083246986845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128383054317155,0.0,0.0,0.13448505389893986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858059949450883,0.0848542807981184,0.0,0.0,0.08242166711303507,0.0,0.15436882667193247,0.0,0.10798025004791932,0.0,0.0,0.14682970705102305
mentalhealth,graykitty99,2019/02/20,I'm not graduating high school until I'm 21 and it makes me suicidal So I'm 19 now. I was chronically ill for most of my teenage years and couldn't go to school so i won't  have enough credits to graduate high school school until I'm 21. I also have social anxiety so severe i can't attend regular school and i am doing online school with a private tutor who checks up on me once a week and helps me with whatever I need. I really fucking hate myself for this. I feel like I'm retarded and worthless because I'm not graduating at 18 like everyone else. I feel like everyone will judge me and look down on me for the rest of my life and i won't be able to get a job or get into college because they'll think there's something wrong with me. What makes it worse is that my sister whose 6 years younger than me is starting high school next year. Ik that i shouldn't feel this way because it's not my fault I  got sick and missed out on so many credits but i blame myself for it to the point I have suicidal thoughts pretty much every day because of it and i don't want to feel this way anymore. Advice?,3.096632860040568,4.131292172413794,4.482352941176469,87.23323529411766,73.39655172413794,7.700202839756592,25.716024340770787,8.124751697461798,1.3783830628803238,872,28,190,13,17,290,125,232,0.163,0.78,0.057,-0.9627,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,7,11,2,0,5,0,17,5,0,2,0,32,42,18,2,4,5,1,4,3,0,5,4,0,0,0,13,14,0,0,6,0,3,2,9,6,0,0,3,5,29,5,26,32,4,26,0,2,1,1,6,12,1,2,13,114,42,15,0.09170540788744412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896134632291048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333678155533778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015438602515528,0.0,0.09094712264615704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236110618774544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059142401488294964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660810090903858,0.0,0.0,0.09475620074847604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772657613669817,0.17525689437074116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854760386683716,0.131028723436794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478017187068644,0.09582458124012347,0.0,0.05211829665438858,0.0,0.07334519213603137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054010445961436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061468201839919585,0.2906753952280794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100346695171664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477424164201427,0.13440789022418595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700944602828834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242814373806316,0.09297488986494418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741402655674121,0.06799839795353575,0.0,0.0,0.09752974166346627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766326645938954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669125226101093,0.0,0.0,0.09329736851078464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874883254387121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6496753809010992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360100800624976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348211460691493,0.0,0.07059930331261807,0.0,0.0,0.06490955970787697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20062166367773454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876112247219861,0.0,0.07280385026916654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054090225577203714,0.1455829684913473,0.07356054662237653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934556452494851,0.0,0.10026546736881,0.0,0.17716582799883576
mentalhealth,I-like-pocari,2019/02/20,"Language degeneration, could this be(come) a problem?  Hi! The following is a post that I originally posted somewhere else, but I didn't get any response :( It's a long read, and kind of vague, so it makes sense. I decided to look at other places, because it's still an issue for me, and now I'm here. I'm generally just looking for advice or insight, so if anyone can help me, I'd be very grateful :)

I've already been to the doctor, but I haven't brought it up. It felt like too abstract of a problem for me. My mom was also in the room, and I didn't want to unnecessarily worry her.

Here is the post:

* Age: 21
* Sex: Not yet (jk female)
* Height: 172cm
* Weight: 50kg
* Race: Asian caucasian (?)
* Duration of complaint: About a year
* Location (Geographic and on body): Belgium, intracranial
* Any existing relevant medical issues (if any): AD(H)D, mild autism (diagnosed October 2018)
* Current medications (if any): Methylphenidate 36mg, slow release (since 7th of January 2019)

Hello!

Next week I'll be visiting a doctor for a minor skin problem, but I wanted to ask whether I should bring this up or whether it's just some irrational worry, or see if anyone might know what the problem is.

Since early 2018 or so I've noticed myself stumbling over words with increased frequency. Initially it happened about once a day, now it's almost hourly, in fact I'm somewhat having problems while typing this post. I just completely cannot recall certain words for a while, sometimes it takes around 5 minutes of intensely trying to remember what word it was before it comes back to me. I'm often even not certain anymore how to spell certain words. This concerns simple words, like ""laboratory"", ""reference"", or ""precipitation"". I end up being able to describe what word I mean (eg for laboratory), and sometimes it comes back to me in pieces but I keep blurting it out like ""la....borto...rary...labratry....labatorary."" which, when occurring in the midst of a conversation is very awkward and uncomfortable.

When I'm typing or writing, I pause for long times in the middle of longer words, because I can't recall how to spell it out further, and when I push myself to keep writing, it's spelled terribly wrong, but I can't correct it until I can remember how to spell it correctly.

It happens with names too, names of people I've known for years. I was asked the name of a friend, it took me over ten minutes to remember her name, even though I spoke to her one day ago. When I was joking with a friend, I called out her name, only to realise I forgot how to. It came out like ""Ju...Juuulii.....ana. Juliana"" (not her real name). It sounds funny while typing it, but at that moment it was really awkward.

The main reasons this worries me is because I used to excel in language and things related to that, and now I make ridiculous spelling mistakes and my speech ends up being jumbled when I can't remember a specific word. There is also a history of neurodegeneration in my family, but to think it could be anything like that just sounds unlikely to me, because I'm only 21. I thought it might be caused by my ADD, but as far as I know, that shouldn't become progressively worse, and even on medication this particular issue has not improved.

If anyone is willing to offer me any advice or insight as to what could cause this problem, I would greatly appreciate it.",4.7750777511961715,6.4944756315789505,5.708202751196174,77.40335675837325,70.19617224880382,8.350996810207338,31.403807814992017,8.901047299222334,2.7697836523126,2619,115,466,49,48,861,302,627,0.124,0.7879999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9643,1,0,1,0,0,0,146.0,0,0,0,2,39,26,1,2,24,0,39,10,2,11,6,127,76,55,0,20,30,1,3,5,2,6,6,4,1,0,45,23,1,3,16,2,0,10,12,12,0,2,15,10,47,14,72,46,5,77,0,0,3,1,26,28,0,18,40,308,92,7,0.06406190579980148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520110584586122,0.05678701421730921,0.0,0.06414874493538078,0.0,0.0706939060502826,0.10246056584634433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21782146360109764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353219660581005,0.13438072214616645,0.0,0.0527174900451116,0.057028678074565374,0.11977846840240484,0.0,0.0,0.09851930250918538,0.0,0.15620617269778664,0.07075134186755848,0.05451196345331908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115833562069808,0.0,0.0,0.06541436837205257,0.07326975394853916,0.0,0.13161844784100585,0.0,0.11036731883546318,0.06716768940232938,0.0,0.0,0.15344465704927085,0.0,0.0,0.08262925906326908,0.0,0.0,0.06502148589427519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114015024294545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351550205152567,0.0,0.11347966791519425,0.0,0.0,0.12693685379563766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06039186342444153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150947581617916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898813901699682,0.0,0.033469701722741566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062847730267575,0.0,0.0,0.11329946346214315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429393450905882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308807292456985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20059195754803774,0.0,0.11388233068327025,0.0,0.06671061677882913,0.0704134961279965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648705640965724,0.0,0.0,0.11338554144442567,0.10759173293714902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552363914043701,0.0,0.0,0.0697821958072038,0.0,0.1936068913169706,0.0,0.13591911686912325,0.0,0.07502852981797398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813056358456468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293490435252674,0.0,0.06822383892236014,0.04341000530509877,0.09744393220156647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04441245933540036,0.0,0.06693105667918528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454143896393857,0.0,0.0,0.3677915526063137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407924186131317,0.07291647373621156,0.041039697254201715,0.06586630865754023,0.0,0.0,0.29027860459593025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104904479953781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598534095012824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267177257893869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511599207238587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04816658055890457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04255988365313591,0.04104828253012963,0.06294049718824349,0.05085799742072534,0.03735501244406396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117513448678396,0.04349382890412735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553289180640394,0.0,0.10571556278071399,0.07557074365493914,0.0,0.051386596678011084,0.07801014288625363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517392493581906,0.06528455497172357,0.04550773985430884,0.07004163738563131,0.0,0.08250753396597438
mentalhealth,missing_an_eyebrow,2019/02/20,"I wrote this story about my experience with bipolar disorder and self-harm https://medium.com/@brendenbelluardo/one-too-many-me-bf1c1bbb11be

I wrote this because I've been scared for too long to speak up about my experiences with mental health and I hope I can inspire at least one person to do the same. Thank you.",9.783,12.9954239,6.749000000000002,68.93950000000001,60.0,8.200000000000001,26.5,8.841846274778883,1.9628,265,7,40,4,4,74,39,50,0.104,0.726,0.16899999999999998,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,9,7,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,7,3,9,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757919397635822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962633827679376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5057251829765385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747734002887969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567488160687392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22876435573328316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26050718905267456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3503325651398576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257122195741152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588035846637339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696718652662757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23799205929045786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TaragonRain,2019/02/20,"I have a friend I need to help... So this friend is also my boyfriend of 3 years I care about him deeply like a family member almost but obviously that would be weird, I’m sure you all know what I mean though, I absolutely love this man. But he is a young man and has been struggling so hard for a very extended period of time dare I say all his life. At this moment he is transitioning from being a teenager to an adult and is falling into really bad ways, smoking weed all day everyday, doing a variety of other drugs to the point where it’s so destructive he’s had to go on Suboxone. I’m not sure what to do about it anymore as I feel like I’ve done everything I can and now I’m beginning to be frustrated by his continuous lack of motivation and want for life. I know I can’t change him but I need help to help him I can’t watch him continue to ruin his potential just throwing it out the window for a night doing nothing. He can barely leave the house and when he does he’s riddled with anxiety. If anyone has any suggestions I’m open to anything I’m just scared for his life a bit at the moment as he’s also been having a lot of suicidal thoughts for an extended period of time. I’ve been supporting him loving him but it’s obviously not enough and I think I need some help",2.5079570990806914,4.069491516853933,4.567151855635,83.93456843718081,75.77902621722845,8.599863806605379,24.121382362955398,9.218907990703514,1.8750614232209744,1013,32,216,25,22,349,143,267,0.159,0.675,0.166,-0.3916,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,13,17,2,2,15,0,24,6,0,1,7,42,45,20,1,7,9,0,2,2,2,1,4,1,1,3,11,10,0,0,7,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,6,4,26,10,32,35,8,28,0,1,1,2,31,8,0,4,18,139,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358910398404238,0.0,0.0,0.1974007369809581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083931055992039,0.0,0.09441733881764768,0.0,0.12240126070369045,0.08629939192888379,0.0,0.10156562479166363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305204727283124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474463911739712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583675024927235,0.0,0.13056389875270855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959685026403644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800724849069432,0.12630335204940402,0.0,0.0,0.14313010362302947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752771163778565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092355513107392,0.0,0.1163510883349613,0.0,0.062405770250870074,0.08817255824275635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907107523067216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014345292754187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056168986395397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33090812241163203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241218572587155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565878652199806,0.0,0.0,0.13068586499781665,0.0,0.0,0.2615294010659845,0.12059531394574767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492880035233017,0.22278598556334647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444252202500434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745471014314397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582299803386772,0.0,0.1184265453502635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667349400391128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906716517263764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814996877197786,0.12356675243329472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902726261104056,0.0,0.13500341651360706,0.1400575954884671,0.23264717083393524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908370558290533,0.12126129138833446,0.09798312247545572,0.14393648767174322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018359103860749,0.07279737510944216,0.09796647965244623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767530523938442,0.0,0.0,0.07947959235258255
mentalhealth,CatsGhost,2019/02/20,"Struggling to be honest about self-harm in therapy I [27f] just started therapy recently after several years off meds/out of talk therapy. I've only been going since December, but I feel like I'm backsliding already and it scares me a little bit. I was really depressed and anxious which led me to go back to therapy. I attempted suicide in college and feel like I'm getting back to that same place. 

Basically I was scared to admit that I started self-harming again shortly before my intake interview, and I'm afraid of bringing it up now because it feels like I've been basically lying/not being totally honest the last few months. I don't feel suicidal but I've been going back and forth between feeling better and feeling worse while working through therapy and stabilizing my meds. And I feel bad because, of all the therapists I've seen I definitely feel most comfortable with this one. But I feel like admitting that I've been self-harming is going to cause problems? I know it's their job to work through these kinds of things with patients, but I feel like I can't get past this thought. 

I could just really use some advice/reassurance/validation or whatever",6.6938943248532246,7.652882867579912,7.267791911285063,70.81777397260275,65.0730593607306,10.823352902804956,37.10404435746901,10.7630783206399,4.373727723418135,944,47,158,25,14,311,127,219,0.145,0.6679999999999999,0.187,0.8121,1,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,1,4,8,17,0,4,3,0,12,0,0,3,2,41,40,14,2,2,7,0,10,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,12,10,0,0,14,0,0,6,2,7,0,1,8,11,19,10,22,29,7,27,0,1,1,0,5,7,0,3,19,96,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264011137210737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483878439092043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936554294424248,0.07009413721299003,0.1023493964631181,0.0,0.07143464900405712,0.0,0.0,0.07424631077331853,0.0916508645190176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623902927320247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702666426150156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230538667020572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4244727531968262,0.29986689053956905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772006155610068,0.0,0.190841228067179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330670084348464,0.0,0.0,0.08742025039183701,0.04613632551833632,0.06842986285717184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050668741344212,0.08413922679740582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324871838693534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700750957110986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056886200675737686,0.06384720576387724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801390810759257,0.0,0.0,0.08770912362095701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032811760543772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756010911612708,0.0,0.08288978034316709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809573665415964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262732204264488,0.09483878439092043,0.0,0.06944370694729354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883945642060854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776200850945301,0.0,0.18365376043959555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747524648623053,0.0,0.0,0.4800165552614789,0.09747157748496596,0.05577216738888461,0.0,0.0,0.06664634631826956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250521887848528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223214258252713,0.0,0.08555148217665591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406058006053016
mentalhealth,d-doubleA,2019/02/20,"Quitting work to cope and get help Hi everyone, I’m struggling with my mental health at the moment and have been for the last few years. I’m in a steady (not greatly paid but ok) job however do not want to be there for the rest of my career. I’ve tried to find other jobs but can’t seem to make it happen 
I’m thinking of leaving my job and focusing on getting help without a plan to get back into work. I’ve been to GP etc before and will be going soon to start the process again, but I’m also worried I won’t be able to find a job again in x number of months. My family know my situation and are happy to support me through it 
Have any of you left a job due to mental health and was it a good decision ? Really unsure of my next move ",4.4067295597484275,3.751076213836477,5.8459119496855365,84.61654088050315,69.8805031446541,8.827672955974844,27.729559748427675,8.167268648758528,1.5623257861635227,574,16,130,7,9,196,97,159,0.055,0.826,0.119,0.9067,6,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,4,6,6,0,1,9,1,13,2,0,1,0,22,30,10,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,6,0,1,2,5,1,0,0,4,0,9,5,25,21,3,19,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,11,80,13,8,0.11930352461854808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540698553427664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113048783279331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173704626457746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151851233059317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330549664121668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399963041325027,0.0,0.0,0.11246874526858333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21808252027153707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699350262540584,0.0,0.06780294239152461,0.10006613613265124,0.0,0.13153255707039008,0.0,0.0,0.1054997128142414,0.12700082039647034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536281355703872,0.0,0.0,0.15993327548289069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5919516967403318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556609707364107,0.09724829579343286,0.0,0.12632520650197834,0.12962362857545429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963602908993199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404597846540756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522693512850762,0.12680076600461165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688065190080333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689398379294362,0.0,0.0,0.07642889281198352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860944808570493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410216029298055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444364877687961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472194750363395,0.0,0.0,0.135384225926398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644488131037798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099926192696183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036830986775729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500434037607618,0.0,0.17370877364084686,0.12115852038103275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682755833464308
mentalhealth,Lyfetooshort4name,2019/02/20,"How can I overcome the overwhelming desire for everyone to like me? I can't remember I time where I didn't seek approval from everyone I came else. Do you think it could be related to my anxiety? My SO and i had a big fight yesterday and i find myself asking ""but do you still love me"" more than necessary. I know it tires him out just as much as it does me but my overthinking will not let me stop until I'm satisfied with the answer. Does anyone have any tips on how I can work on this? This also goes along with my need to please everyone. I have also been battling internally with pleasing my parents. I want them to approve of everything I do and know that's not realistic. Please help with any information you have!",2.7522115384615375,4.802532319444449,4.381388888888889,83.37942307692309,76.5,8.597435897435899,25.66025641025641,9.265573868473778,2.2726865384615387,570,21,115,15,13,191,93,144,0.085,0.747,0.16699999999999998,0.9367,1,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,3,1,3,8,5,2,1,3,0,16,2,0,2,0,29,25,13,0,4,5,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,10,0,1,7,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,4,0,27,2,19,17,2,11,0,1,0,1,11,5,0,0,6,88,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23998470765420696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407390816683046,0.0,0.1147853741591001,0.0,0.0,0.1049161956512189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027348221913702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716135406435803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980014248699103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626138924301473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534482909320888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43012837829756095,0.13485236862445926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371400363893027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057319216723397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649235698007887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343299606443425,0.0,0.073305276374245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542307499092948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030164613103996,0.11125778434604597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666091896730622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4941189107715172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997374913655855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198275504054879,0.1254458247139214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614391645536598,0.0,0.0,0.08749348265606714,0.17245669806529984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885014769996444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092358411329129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,junkratjake,2019/02/20,"What does it feel like to have depression? Hey, I recently made a video on what it feels like to have depression. i made it for people looking to learn about it whether it be because they themselves struggle or because they're trying to understand what their friend is going through. What do you think?

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4\_RyraljvM&feature=youtu.be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4_RyraljvM&feature=youtu.be)",15.17421052631579,20.183895543859656,6.4524912280701745,69.1061052631579,49.7017543859649,8.068771929824562,32.452631578947376,8.841846274778883,2.9347642105263154,374,12,44,5,5,85,40,57,0.162,0.7140000000000001,0.125,-0.5362,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,2,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,2,0,9,13,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,3,5,3,8,10,0,3,0,2,1,0,5,1,0,1,3,30,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44565032466081583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507285706412159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542576092476316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799685060799801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079688798624881,0.29383738232283685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588871564901818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168774560139706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009435366084001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269689760809975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3891880712221339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257403859922935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305773032766047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499338257560466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177427022641633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962502716129827,0.0,0.0,0.21409223976387884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Benjamin311,2019/02/20,"Should I [25F] break it off with my fiancee [28M] because my mental health is rapidly declining? To summarize: we are getting married June 2019. I was diagnosed with bpd2 7 years ago. We have been together for 4 years and I have been upfront from the very beginning about some of my handicaps and lifestyle differences because of my mental health. He has been supportive.

 For the past 6 months my mental health has plummeted to constant suicidal ideation and self harm. I can tell he is getting frustrated that he can't just fix me with well meant advice. It's obvious I can no longer discuss my mental health at all with him without hurting him and making him nervous around me. At the same time, I cant lay in bed next to him holding all of this hurt and knowing I will be judged for letting this darkness slip.

I am on four meds, have a psychiatrist, therapist, and will soon be going into an intensive outpatient program - everything I can possibly do to feel well. 

As you know, this is a chronic disorder. I can never promise I will stay well. 

Is it fair to him to continue our plans with marriage, knowing there is a possibility this could get even worse?

Thank you for any advice.
",5.8228720238095235,6.9185289955357145,6.142928571428572,77.61873809523813,67.08035714285714,9.723333333333334,35.022619047619045,9.888512548439397,3.5597997619047623,941,45,170,21,15,302,141,224,0.13,0.8029999999999999,0.067,-0.9478,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,3,2,0,1,9,11,1,1,7,0,31,6,0,1,4,32,44,7,1,2,2,0,1,0,1,4,6,0,1,1,8,15,0,1,5,0,0,1,5,5,3,1,5,1,29,6,29,31,4,23,0,2,0,0,18,7,0,1,13,124,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069652664138816,0.09387248975902557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201450329099156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942719752448902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291092915253149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443848554953473,0.0,0.08455120826458433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074845869756346,0.0,0.11064122703536096,0.1213686733916165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994485548154214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951746005291878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354538310032012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16598253714392447,0.0,0.0601844676203181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4502599378267006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267327285709199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745968762033745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828822850784044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068796493369925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762918378242915,0.0,0.4268824807022202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452704545961118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167532900727201,0.0,0.11262408704733855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109194913456084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23876893592587145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047506523628582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287354128674296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583559706119302,0.12017218241826087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255981769507746,0.09749696450488174,0.0,0.12295613601858067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061750174250838126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737722189906348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856459793239494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208222173592844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791945663059108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639011918507554
mentalhealth,MysteryWriter7598,2019/02/20,"How do I stop the act? backstory I guess: I'm 19, almost 20. I was diagnosed a little over a year ago with depression when I disclosed to a friend I was think of suicide. She forced me to go to one of the counselors/therapists at my school, where I was then sent to the hospital. So yeah... onto the actual reason for the post...

​

When I'm alone, or on the bus (mainly because who cares on public transit), I drop my act of this happy girl who is always smiling and laughing and all around joyful. Problem is, I can't drop the act with my therapist. She literally told me I brighten her days with how spirited I am. I just don't know how to drop the same act I've been doing since I was 12/13 when I feel like my depression started to show signs.

​

How do I tell her I just want to break down and sob on some days? How do I drop my walls and let myself be unguarded with her?",2.0336956521739147,3.739741717391308,3.645,89.41250000000002,77.47826086956522,6.9913043478260875,23.45652173913044,7.8658589789855275,1.0895934782608694,692,22,150,11,16,230,107,184,0.16399999999999998,0.687,0.149,-0.2651,0,1,0,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,0,0,13,10,0,0,11,1,16,1,0,6,1,30,28,15,1,2,3,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,9,0,1,4,1,0,6,2,4,0,1,7,1,29,6,23,19,4,33,1,3,0,0,13,11,1,4,11,105,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.13638177991737016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388533787485173,0.0,0.1399455324443697,0.14474515690728554,0.0,0.0,0.11628825921200073,0.30285132166997064,0.33963788320928584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244125465865785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519401288095971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142490643972768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026222752668594,0.0,0.24074342423949902,0.14184948548821366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066487630241791,0.09984177579164236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797520539462976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942660437686229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15395708501364247,0.0,0.0,0.14877295234355942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680628995024268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429100667405396,0.0,0.06827776428661818,0.14007231345336266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470234081671516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384769827605505,0.0,0.0,0.1337276998686939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369253279249602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414406202939313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560767857192462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892007701981846,0.0,0.0,0.11684234579281692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287047479723778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221529791979002,0.0,0.0,0.324535175183921,0.0,0.08955005683108166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354292932681894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824317605017899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33963788320928584,0.08999833732656383
mentalhealth,NeonGiraffes,2019/02/20,"A friend sent me this poem yesterday, I didn't realize how badly I needed to hear this. If the mountain seems too big today 

then climb a hill instead 

if the morning brings you sadness 

it’s ok to stay in bed 

if the day ahead weighs heavy 

and your plans feel like a curse 

there’s no shame in rearranging 

don’t make yourself feel worse 

if a shower stings like needles 

and a bath feels like you’ll drown 

if you haven’t washed your hair for days 

don’t throw away your crown 

a day is not a lifetime 

a rest is not defeat 

don’t think of it as failure 

just a quiet, kind retreat 

it’s ok to take a moment 

from an anxious, fractured mind 

the world will not stop turning  

while you get realigned 

the mountain will still be there 

when you want to try again 

you can climb it in your own time 

just love yourself til then",2.2715768463073864,4.18084266467066,2.671760479041918,95.73706187624754,77.44311377245509,5.171896207584831,21.91177644710579,5.6839178017228535,-0.028836007984031745,643,18,141,3,15,197,109,167,0.131,0.6890000000000001,0.18,0.7115,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,10,0,6,10,12,0,1,16,2,12,4,1,2,0,25,27,14,1,7,10,0,4,3,1,3,1,2,3,0,6,2,1,1,7,1,0,5,9,4,0,0,2,6,13,8,14,21,2,28,0,2,0,1,14,6,0,6,19,86,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146861848501441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785447419858838,0.0,0.15867182393008414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676718050165566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882631927704921,0.27152300235083626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468210662107045,0.0,0.0992857799224491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141839807867824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19789287848637369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785254479787179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715145870989273,0.0,0.1268502672089072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188182613908691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409090211910466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730013119504647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255271016032733,0.15176270980591544,0.15887830659977073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288315314560832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176716659269735,0.0,0.0,0.11081131153319056,0.0,0.18013156907424002,0.0,0.0,0.12902172718275784,0.2067042092398589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208794576741016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19366255519550646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,damonmatsuda,2019/02/20,"Ever since winter in the Midwest, I’ve felt like my life was meaningless Where to begin...

I moved from the west coast last year. It wasn’t ideal, and I didn’t have any ideal living situations out there, but I felt like I was home. I began dating someone long distance and felt such a strong connection, it was worth moving. the west coast became hollow for me because she wasn’t there so I decided “why not”? Well...

At first, everything was great. Her kids love me and i got two jobs right away. Two. I struggled getting a single job in the WC after 6 months, which is partly why I stayed at most of my jobs for years at a time. The jobs were seasonal and I didn’t know what that meant but I was getting paid more than I ever was. It felt good to have money for once that I didn’t need to spend. I still missed home but what’s home without my new family? It was tolerable.

Then winter...

Initially, it hurt because I had a miscarriage and my seasonal jobs were coming to an end. So I had to find another job which felt like I was striking gold... until I realized the mess I was walking into. It wasn’t a place set up for success. They had some former employees ruin their former reputation and had a whole new staff to pick up the pieces. It wasn’t great, and I wasn’t getting as many hours. But then a light. Shortly after my girlfriend’s miscarriage, we had another baby on the way. And so far so good. I wasn’t getting much hours but I decided I’d sign up for a delivery service and look for another job.

Though, as fast as all of it came... loss was around the corner

I was picking up the kids one day and the parking lot was ungodly packed. I had to weave a damn suburban through the thinnest lanes I’ve ever done and for a big tank of a vehicle, I was going a good job... until my last turn. I get ready to turn and back into a spot and I overshoot my turn and clip someone’s bumper. “Damn it”
I tried calming this raging mom, but she wanted the cops on the scene. Apparently because she had a lease, she needed a police report. I called my girlfriend immediately because this isn’t even my vehicle. Found registration and insurance and talked to the cop. Cop didn’t really like me one bit. Trying to convince said cop of my trials in a now empty parking lot with my west coast ID in a vehicle that wasn’t mine felt fruitless. Low and behold, a ticket racking over $500. Lovely. Even more to deal with. Girlfriend said we’ll handle it. I’m racked with guilt, but we press on. 

Then that Saturday...

The shifts at my job had been difficult while this was happening. High standards and expectations for what little we’re able to produce. Rushed products and a 2 man job being done by one. I just felt like I was gonna fail. Luckily I got a new job, and then the delivery service set me up to get started. But I go in, run this shift. I’m alone for most of it but I do my damn best and even though it’s tough, I feel like I do a damn good job. Nope. SIKE. The owner apparently wasn’t pleased, chewed out my manager after I left and I got fired over text.

The guilt at this rate is higher. I’m not doing enough and I’m just not getting anywhere. So I decide to try out this delivery service the next day. It’s going alright. I make about $87 that day... but it begins to snow. And holy hell do I not know snow. I was on my last order and started making a turn and the vehicle began sliding... 

Fuck me... I’m gonna crash.

Sure enough, I slam into a guy’s door and dent it. We trade numbers and I go finish my order. I can’t even bring myself to tell my girlfriend this happened and since the bumper was easy to pop back on, I hid it. But then he contacts me the next day. The bill for the damage is $1200. I’m absolutely not ready. I beg for a payment plan and he’s sympathetic and says he’ll sleep on it. I’ve been paranoid on the road but ohhhh today... 

Today I backed into my girlfriend’s mother in law’s vehicle.

I feel like I just wanna let go of life itself if you catch my drift. I’m aggressively depressed and when I thought I was cured of depression a while ago (as I have had a long history of it), the idea that it never goes away has never been stronger.

I know I need help but as you can see, with my lovely amounts of debt... it’s not as easily available. I don’t know what to do.

I’m waiting to fight the ticket in court, and hoping the guy is merciful. And I’ve lost all confidence that I can be good at my new job and it shows.",1.4561051693404643,3.421991429193902,3.2605441671618145,90.2663123885918,80.2418300653595,6.307803525450582,21.65186175480293,7.3919655934924595,0.6964004357298466,3444,103,747,49,88,1150,371,918,0.125,0.7340000000000001,0.141,0.9656,17,1,0,1,1,0,131.0,4,2,2,11,30,53,9,3,56,1,68,8,1,5,8,129,144,72,0,10,24,2,11,7,5,4,2,3,4,5,42,52,1,1,22,3,7,16,25,25,1,6,66,17,99,28,98,71,19,139,1,10,2,4,42,52,6,7,72,478,141,23,0.04395975071277011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03896766662728884,0.0,0.0,0.045529044171277136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029894137928767814,0.138286894630839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913349814273682,0.0,0.0,0.08260326572230361,0.10140700447394116,0.0,0.10718982405940064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04613304627195919,0.0,0.04799266230273073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04488782047251638,0.050278243804194885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03786743277670966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340161004118818,0.04532057271868968,0.07572493774811036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997217495723484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03893529118622737,0.09084434733674024,0.0,0.11614000300600627,0.11929233378877567,0.0,0.0,0.03950818939954871,0.0,0.04144134065437585,0.0,0.044454741606193005,0.06280970938555297,0.29545778145622137,0.0,0.04017841575343928,0.0373921414994332,0.0,0.04819959766112851,0.0,0.04064008117597013,0.16077008762935305,0.0,0.12491669691459985,0.1843567662081282,0.10547588533396447,0.09693156070476412,0.0,0.08705412909560817,0.07774692475199282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02946529427099429,0.04644589018583495,0.1322856426716889,0.043661951377281065,0.08658299886925146,0.0,0.04705982233521026,0.04962520775547034,0.0,0.0,0.567102503260978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663651737975368,0.10749919218203227,0.0,0.0,0.04776239777391937,0.04495182346804099,0.06210014394541592,0.15033559593837534,0.04405921885508095,0.038817265259343946,0.07780599209623988,0.03691511905259822,0.0,0.04798726080234005,0.0747460160808706,0.1190261739645966,0.0,0.05868694990766525,0.044568287467044734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148512873549254,0.03508825361844763,0.09344451610416904,0.032315474847630615,0.0977867944246209,0.06780893956471422,0.1698264046757541,0.09350338719105908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681569981804114,0.08936479431079071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047604126175495635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045928583138848636,0.04825460541723847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02816174196035008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03754138691670851,0.08363157921893137,0.034958558181992436,0.0,0.0,0.0350302298299666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727279201142658,0.04941260164250718,0.043991497919001685,0.0,0.07449390824829424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06222987562818778,0.04685524522886567,0.03510631370434314,0.0,0.0,0.04595627613015677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04143154480450563,0.0,0.0,0.03533318245716305,0.038422759727405886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638046375890261,0.03489913171413517,0.025633284155567,0.0,0.08333740719394214,0.0,0.0,0.08953735542044576,0.19126234166121409,0.08588457768954164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02592859992825934,0.03489320395782745,0.0,0.0,0.03952509524460508,0.0,0.07933367503289472,0.04907949177760492,0.0,0.04237563097974798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056617276363964915
mentalhealth,fluffy_latte,2019/02/20,"I really want nothing more than for all this to end but I really don't want to hurt my family. So I force myself to keep trying and this is one of my last attempts at that. I've [16M]been struggling with depression for long now and I'm so exhausted. I really tried my best but I'm not strong enough to live in this world. I have been struggling to stay alive but I can't do this much longer. I've never had many friends but I didn't mind that because i had 3 really close friends. One of them was the first to know about my mental health. She meant the world to me and I fought hard to live because I was willing to go through it if I could still be friends with her. I was going to 'end the pain' around July last year, I had it thought out and everything but I didn't do it because her birthday was coming up and I didn't want to taint that. Not ending myself is perhaps my biggest regret. Sometime after that she got mad at me for the strangest thing ( we had our main exams and I forgot to her a few songs, which isn't strange because I am a bit forgetful). She stopped talking to me and it stayed that way from August 2nd or so to December 14th. I was really heart broken over this. The person I cared more for than anything cut me off as if it was nothing. I cried almost every day. I tried to patch things up around December 14th because we are in 11th and the students of class 11 throw a farewell for the students of class 12. So I talked to her and it went well, I was so happy to be a part of her life again. I told her how much farewell meant to me and asked I'd we could hangout( btw this isnt like a prom kind of situation. It's just a friends kind of thing) she said yes and I was glad because that meant I didnt have to worry on that day.  Its something I've looked forward to for around 10years. I always dreamed of just being with my friends on that day. I didnt expect anything massive , i just wanted to be by their side. The day came and she seemed like she didnt want me around. I was really hurt but I tried to stay calm. I tried and was just getting a negative response. Finally I asked her why she was being like this and she said that she doesn't want to talk to me. We used to be so close. We shared things with each other that we didnt share with other people. But now she was just staying with people that she was never friends with and put me aside. I just felt my heart rip to shreds. It was just the most painful thing in the world. The person I was willing to live for wanted me out of her life and with no reason. It was like it didnt matter to her at all. As if that wasn't bad enough my only other friends cut me out. 1 ignored me for almost 50 days straight and just left me on read. And the other friend also stopped talking to me. I feel so lonely. I have been getting professional help for a while now. I go to a psychiatric hospital and the doctors are amazing. I have had my meds adjusted many times now and nothing works for more than a month. I have tried all the things I was supposed to. I really tried my best. But now I'm tired and I just want the pain to end. I want to fade away knowing it's my last moment because maybe I deserve it. If the people closest to my heart are tired of me then maybe I dont deserve to live comfortably. 
I dont want to let my family down, I have been taking every breath for a while now just for them, but I cant do it much longer. Sorry for writing such a long message. I just hope that people know that I tried, i really did ,but I failed. ",1.3268385483807954,3.144626886792455,2.614425172858315,95.47182448533148,79.99730458221025,5.595249814445877,21.130981678971835,6.498293943080001,0.12281711785616613,2738,77,629,24,69,881,265,742,0.158,0.721,0.121,-0.9844,0,2,1,0,0,0,62.0,7,0,3,7,35,45,4,2,28,1,69,14,4,3,5,121,114,50,0,19,28,0,3,4,8,2,10,3,0,2,46,47,0,5,12,4,0,9,23,18,1,3,48,7,112,27,99,55,19,84,0,6,1,0,55,33,0,10,43,450,158,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725499113525088,0.0,0.0,0.038834748182278896,0.040407197790656935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992422972849503,0.17292071999799627,0.09079720807012123,0.0,0.045625285435725936,0.0,0.04054696417769451,0.20721919363754834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192494864567404,0.0,0.053016763858798895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554161096935957,0.04951185677162099,0.0,0.0,0.041831576852270735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754508045382731,0.0,0.0533427117808362,0.15659129157175306,0.0,0.0418260933045319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04970492471131236,0.0,0.0,0.11382782594960307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204489516109533,0.10035436834652582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183059911170566,0.0,0.04364409573013822,0.0,0.09155923701861712,0.0,0.024554238346612363,0.0,0.04662681655940743,0.05319693338216147,0.0,0.04130652980960898,0.0,0.0,0.3001489925419649,0.0,0.05074293421677528,0.0,0.0827961447177187,0.0,0.03883920191990382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169479835695922,0.04350171585112215,0.0,0.0,0.05161878200877777,0.0,0.17263743041922475,0.032549862279810216,0.0,0.0,0.048232693389296685,0.0,0.0,0.10397253947884913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043163841600564495,0.0,0.10113900825320386,0.08006466785081233,0.11875272205105745,0.0,0.0,0.052762394137193455,0.049657595463128576,0.06860108419040975,0.09489911173933947,0.0,0.17152336937823098,0.08595109568512546,0.04077957037027491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846781815631564,0.09757344484228092,0.0,0.05394106546403564,0.0,0.04893873930044214,0.0,0.04903344108680807,0.0,0.038761459920114434,0.0,0.10709524019576876,0.0,0.07490750385426037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397886898634534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581328575300074,0.03693333662253934,0.1550191151240332,0.0,0.0,0.05258755391044679,0.0,0.13466618382978696,0.08480435039685805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048817888945891286,0.0,0.0,0.04857480926129842,0.0,0.2488787830016849,0.04992948241663638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238653314584372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04420871850216164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458534924370394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037385144368805454,0.048028731157329314,0.05436081128225425,0.0,0.20704110609038173,0.03878141062222702,0.08119945743047907,0.0,0.10153439807333403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03651233059968989,0.1561281163270397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935732855680603,0.0,0.0,0.03855253982982617,0.028316699007628537,0.11162898681633256,0.0,0.04640275463247821,0.0,0.26376147803172384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04194168912627716,0.0,0.0,0.2864292984862353,0.03854599152762122,0.0,0.0,0.04366277135995707,0.04501715255460163,0.043819351891115584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035353472513661895,0.04931673087443373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031272121896287176
mentalhealth,purplepluppy,2019/02/20,"Coming out of an abusive relationship alone, depressed, and frankly scared for the future. For some context, my 23 years of life have been a pretty continuous stream of what my therapist refers to as *chronic trauma.* I've had my *acute* moments of sexual assaults, burglaries, and fights, but most of my trauma is dragged out over years, most notably abusive relationships.

I've had two. One with a classmate in middle school that still gives me nightmares to this day, and one with a boyfriend of three years that I am still recovering from.

My boyfriend was my best friend for two years, then something changed, seemingly overnight. He's had his mental health problems, but this was a whole new monster. I honestly don't particularly want to go into details, but after almost a year of this behavior I ended up in a mental ward for a week.

We've been separated for almost 4 months, but I still find myself so emotionally dependent on him, and I know it's bad, but ever since middle school I've had it drilled into my head that my self worth is entirely dependent on my partner's view of me.

I thought we could try to remain friends, that removing the romantic aspect of our relationship would remove me as a target. It's helped, but I still get yelled at and I still get sent into panic attacks where I risk hurting myself. I love him so much, but I hate myself for constantly turning back to him and repeadedly letting myself get hurt.

He's not going to therapy any time soon, he's not getting a reliable job any time soon, and he's not going to care about me again. I'm starting to really appreciate that.

But it's so fucking scary.

I've decided I need to cut him out of my life, but to have someone who's been a constant for three years, who was my best friend and support system for so long vanish is terrifying. I'm in a time of transition in my life and I don't have anyone else I want to talk to about this stuff. I don't feel close enough, vulnerable enough to let them in like that. Even now, *he's* the one I want to tell this to, and it's about cutting *him* out.

tl;dr: I'm coming out of my second abusive relationship and I'm just really fucking sad. I know he became bad for me, but that emotional dependence developed from the first one is a bitch to beat. Now that I'm finally cutting him out from my life, I feel like I've lost a chunk of me and I feel so alone without him.",5.042860852925095,5.800282250000002,5.873064516129035,80.07445051940955,68.66101694915254,9.056424275560415,30.268179332968835,9.19923166143015,2.4793989065062885,1890,71,372,35,31,621,215,472,0.205,0.6859999999999999,0.109,-0.9934,1,2,1,0,1,1,59.0,2,0,1,5,23,34,10,3,18,0,25,10,1,3,1,68,61,30,0,7,15,0,3,2,4,1,6,1,0,2,22,27,0,0,10,0,1,8,7,23,0,10,13,5,54,11,69,44,9,69,0,5,1,3,35,23,3,9,39,253,76,3,0.0,0.2476236585586994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951816942504106,0.14430313688557686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947487028583998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04871114360521076,0.0713796673058333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925359737130666,0.0,0.05356781630318505,0.11633414700429115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621750604048395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102775437000264,0.0,0.07369596331617684,0.1200198562246608,0.0,0.1505654773328764,0.0,0.05562155497906422,0.0,0.0,0.044927936536668094,0.0,0.060002061631304116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05819587654919856,0.15672671103091138,0.061702203022202785,0.14396441356970827,0.0,0.04601284481346523,0.0630156650018933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567362186012706,0.0497684404328255,0.0,0.0763142197420332,0.06367222872616181,0.05925671636042836,0.0,0.0,0.16146820913279147,0.1288076941592527,0.14558761890861396,0.0668286809344824,0.11877607937264965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877941992243787,0.07149602994668139,0.07405026610716108,0.0,0.0,0.046694746946208746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915489898496329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913141646154974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657174035510204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424736506824638,0.19682481228153587,0.0680692589417967,0.0,0.0,0.06165102371655425,0.0,0.0,0.07604719570076696,0.0,0.06287506721337884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041116535955744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05560565960852076,0.0,0.05121153403657374,0.05165545583156925,0.0,0.06728255382574859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188826281200033,0.0,0.0,0.08173645759613063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708739947315168,0.0,0.06665966237442439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925791830271791,0.0,0.0,0.29917505465545663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974646852167682,0.14100869160361346,0.0,0.06342008164363425,0.07267542405339733,0.0,0.0,0.05762731901515013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902663253073991,0.053631251672964994,0.0,0.0,0.04930899838004937,0.0,0.27817140048932665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974935801491932,0.0,0.07905462013523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055993807442323455,0.06088997537052785,0.0,0.07966759949494535,0.08088602895146818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055305951097801793,0.12186605428435175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0472977249679824,0.07577513533439707,0.13610448227367472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327004792666207,0.0,0.05588078074419811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777809472141614,0.0,0.06715423735757874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049487769133596274,0.0,0.0,0.26917050632018297
mentalhealth,r-um,2019/02/20,"Zoloft withdrawals and anxiety Hi beautiful people, 
It’s been a few years since I went to reddit for mental health advice! I went on Zoloft around two years ago and I seriously thought I was cured. 

Around 3 days ago, I went to get my prescription refilled and was told that I had no refills. I have been on 150mg of Zoloft for around 6 months now due to horrible intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Although it doesn’t completely make it better, it definitely helped.  And now that I’ve been 3 days without it... I can tell a huge difference. I feel... paranoid and keep having suicidal urges but I don’t really understand them because I know deep down that I love my life and my family. It’s super awkward for me and the anxiety I’m constantly feeling is horrible. 

Has anyone had any experience being off of Zoloft for a few days? What were your side effects? 

I don’t want to be completely dependent on this drug. I want to be able to function without it eventually. ",4.213153153153153,6.114205810810812,5.2935135135135125,79.07774774774776,71.97297297297297,9.473873873873872,30.171171171171174,9.888512548439397,3.169565765765766,765,33,143,21,15,252,111,185,0.114,0.753,0.134,0.7673,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,3,5,5,0,1,4,0,19,8,0,3,0,26,36,10,1,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,12,11,0,1,7,0,0,3,6,2,0,1,14,2,20,3,22,19,2,26,0,0,0,1,7,11,0,1,12,93,32,0,0.12492140595514847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207175211335045,0.2214705781058189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495083978704124,0.0,0.2866936008922931,0.0,0.0,0.08734795161120175,0.0,0.0,0.3336196085284275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615092959168843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048283193695248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26195543482953065,0.13499566069500696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416919170530146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051628105721244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486917098643312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221971055625784,0.11776478381409508,0.0,0.12632803263839354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526627867067435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327856129420251,0.0,0.0,0.0837321851815124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103588540482784,0.0,0.0,0.06865353773594716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823568339099906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274644613184112,0.0,0.08338600850567628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125891395374539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971107441366776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660477381741062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002785145028282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333627790828867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366437425502957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918681493864962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19834728494387105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936775677938764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203006182795577,0.13004758918931114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736376366874132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474101845633011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240839555019992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089057945187807
mentalhealth,opalitesky,2019/02/20,"Mental Health YouTube Channel Hi!

I've began a YouTube channel centred on mental health - specifically Bipolar. 

Does anyone know how to get the videos out there? I'm finding it difficult to promote it as I'm unsure where to post about it.

Also does anyone have any videos/suggestions that you feel needs to be widely talked about?",5.529499999999999,7.898926283333335,5.020000000000003,80.44500000000002,69.5,6.8000000000000025,30.33333333333333,7.554174236665415,2.1332333333333326,267,11,43,3,5,81,44,60,0.086,0.87,0.044,-0.3720000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,6,9,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,9,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,22,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18601794034273805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818261274208073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252923040705813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4071167355016172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761448336121225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260110577065786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152899853563152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4945065932810772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278362403512785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4688318536229141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17247718901296574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227758499774941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18696291329371933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rowawaythrowaway5566,2019/02/20,"Lack of understanding my feelings/emotions So im too concerned to ask my Pshyc this. :s

I go through states where im emotionally blank/vacant 

But even normally i find it really hard to identify my own feelings/emotions about things. ( not always) but a lot of the time 

Can i work on this? Is this part of depression/PTSD/anxiety?? 

",1.5828571428571436,4.33182442857143,3.247936507936508,84.24428571428574,90.42857142857142,7.2444444444444445,26.04761904761905,8.167268648758528,2.3725428571428573,261,12,49,7,9,86,48,63,0.097,0.903,0.0,-0.5084,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,5,3,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,8,5,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,34,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582948232777122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553299054166707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17784861103252264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6419827916957913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565164917926264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387580747931008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081177101504559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041756913227116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41098344007093773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173514632430933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863946945567192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20601125561807987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22238024396850292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121872541053605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263869257033181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109304062222587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19804642840177952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849690128963982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ugnid7991,2019/02/20,Need advice How do strengthen one's mind?,0.5874999999999986,1.7917427500000045,0.7199999999999989,97.025,121.5,1.6,16.5,3.1291,-1.0374500000000002,34,1,6,0,2,10,8,8,0.0,0.723,0.277,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5657472401654827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5845785937539072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4292871248546139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3923142775937461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rufustheragdoll,2019/02/20,"Should I tell my bestfriend that I think she may have anxiety? My closest friend recently has been complaining about chest tightness/pain, dizziness, shaky hands & legs and sickness. She says sometimes she feels like she can't breathe, her heart races and she feels like she's going to collapse. She thinks it's a condition where she has inflammation of the chest therefore causing her chest pain/tightness, but has been to the DR's and they haven't found anything, 

​

I've dealt with anxiety most of my life and can often feel like I have a sumo wrestler sitting on my chest, and I get palpitations, and most of the things she's experiencing. I briefly mentioned to her that her symptoms sound a lot like anxiety symptoms, she pulled a funny face and told me that she isn't even anxious about anything. I told her sometimes it can just be triggered by something small and you may not even know, but she reassured me she isn't stressed or anxious about anything so it's not that - and continued pulling faces like I was crazy for even mentioning it and is going to a&e later today. 

​

Should I push the subject a bit more & tell her some things I do to make myself feel more calm or just let her continue thinking she's going to die of a heart attack? It's a tricky subject to push as I am aware it may not be anxiety, but it really does sound like it?",9.284204545454548,7.465059617424245,7.96348484848485,77.15272727272728,60.78030303030303,11.072727272727272,39.80303030303031,9.516144504307137,3.585975757575758,1105,47,212,15,12,335,130,264,0.099,0.767,0.135,0.8946,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,1,0,13,13,1,2,11,0,25,16,11,4,0,45,41,17,1,2,10,0,5,6,1,5,5,3,0,0,14,11,0,0,9,0,0,7,7,4,0,0,6,9,40,9,19,27,7,17,0,0,0,0,33,4,0,11,11,141,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4721142657219332,0.21178430255284314,0.0,0.0,0.2666663666331309,0.19690076380007335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151416504413895,0.0,0.0,0.0991413642807859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514106144774297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952313572091776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044397960775714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762622122317002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267769642839936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625491480841193,0.18677175218384656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555129186015153,0.06732892500513747,0.0,0.045530283923164834,0.0,0.14858155268029133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20653729349256214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789326324578524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911287670985568,0.06155392644979735,0.2554513392794607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408856862395255,0.0,0.0,0.05817075402199656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854593664860544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055828076496866816,0.0,0.0860463425675901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930214271376635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708938944478687,0.17237960711697495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998256584790906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18115650415313975,0.0,0.0,0.15233921057173727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579210370718615,0.1675192662579247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260439198726516,0.1665438253300875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21178430255284314,0.0
mentalhealth,Commie-The-Penguin,2019/02/20,"Server to help you all Hello everyone, I just want everyone who needs help to know there are servers that can help out. There is a small community I’m apart of on discord that helps people, here’s the link [server](https://discord.gg/kkhH9P) (I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed)",3.3223529411764687,6.312985058823532,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,80.76470588235293,6.537254901960785,22.225490196078432,7.793537801064563,1.215219607843137,222,7,41,4,6,66,41,51,0.075,0.698,0.226,0.7906,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,1,9,9,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,9,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,0,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5149306950875447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7224106991706575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807940963457392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19978935749587975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679858607931707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016205671494967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892508853313084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,philycheez,2019/02/20,"Something of my chest. For as long as I can remember I believe I've had some form of depression, questioning my existence asking why I'm even alive since I don't see a valid reason since a very young age (like a disturbing age maybe 7 or 8). In the last 5 years I've had a lot of help from therapists, medications and being more open about my illness. I'm in a very much better place then I was before...but it's odd, sometimes I'm fine but I seem to always fall back to the feelings of worthlessness, despair, hopelessness, etc...
It's like a little voice is always there, sometimes loud and sometimes silent, hell I'm even used to it. I've tried and research what could possibly make me feel like this; bipolar? Honestly not really sure. I feel quite lost in life and am questioning every decisions ""is this what I want?""

Apologies for the rant-y text, just felt like getting this off my chest. It might not even make sense 😂",3.051536885245902,5.03534298907104,3.8946687158469935,87.51118340163937,75.39344262295083,7.635109289617486,25.09870218579235,8.472884824447931,1.6449456284153012,729,25,148,14,16,233,117,183,0.171,0.7190000000000001,0.11,-0.9087,0,0,1,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,0,3,7,15,1,1,9,0,11,6,2,4,1,29,28,9,0,2,5,0,4,4,0,1,4,2,0,0,9,5,0,0,10,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,5,7,12,8,17,20,6,16,1,5,1,0,5,7,1,7,12,79,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067925768591288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616858910701512,0.0,0.0,0.0955501312126437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000119551344006,0.0,0.10990001297982427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921343155787483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702704081591163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13858544630388311,0.24622247066279265,0.0,0.10469644878559667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884924406345472,0.0887730981358367,0.11931141076661385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649219860434525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832904812172856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129045790802252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777022257619316,0.2428333679545335,0.12454359039304998,0.0,0.1099683319583127,0.0,0.0,0.13564711106451868,0.1056434663640744,0.0,0.0,0.16589226138481147,0.0,0.1248383035399626,0.0,0.0,0.12518131572767233,0.0,0.1318227912742332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913471769896367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982778166341136,0.0,0.0,0.14008720850267622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784046998211735,0.1321683801170366,0.0,0.0,0.07960568858474293,0.12776246429746468,0.0,0.0,0.1407650990767941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990210609422695,0.11312384078283814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20558231689586634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566328232322267,0.3686961341920235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711586087025208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144278247891224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436602681676876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732283412947788,0.0,0.2050590216871242,0.07329319522327385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212750684676233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002092479030176
mentalhealth,lilshortyy420,2019/02/20,"One week post AD discontinuation Long story short, I had some adjustment anxiety 2 years ago when switching jobs and mentioned it to my GP who recommended meds to “cut the edge” and when I’m good I can just get off. I trusted her and we went through Lexapro with no avail. She said let’s try Effexor because it has less side effects and works differently- great! Ended up maxed out, with Remeron added to the Effexor (aka California Rocket Fuel... which is ironic). 

Fast forward, side effects are terrible and things I’ve never experienced or felt happening. 6 times I went back begging bc it’s not working or the side effects. Finally it hits the fan a week and a half ago at work and I just had a meltdown. I had to get off. Called my doctor knowing I am going to do this cold turkey and knowing she’s not going to be happy. But last time she just gave me a refill for a year and said I know by body. Got a note for 2 weeks off work, and ripped it off at 225. The first week was a blur and absolute hell. Vomiting, dizziness, shaking- I felt not much different than a hard drug addict. 

A coworker recommended a wonderful therapist who I see weekly to work through the emotional changes, and he’s absolutely amazing. I feel like I found a friend, confidant, and someone to guide me through all of my anxiety. 6 failed medications. 4 failed therapists. I never thought i would be here today. I cried when i ate for the first time again. I feel good though. Not great, still brain zaps and nausea but I can leave my bed now. 

When this was all happening I was searching for others with a similar experience, because it was intense to say the least. I would love to hear other stories if you have them, and if you have any recommendations to deal with general anxiety minus medication, I’d love to hear them as well :) ",3.82128275862069,5.737470594285719,4.9626108374384215,80.97928571428572,73.05714285714286,8.484729064039406,29.21182266009852,9.130062681391069,2.5568738916256155,1428,60,276,32,29,470,202,350,0.066,0.795,0.139,0.9805,3,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,1,2,2,12,14,18,2,1,20,0,21,11,2,3,4,57,51,27,0,4,13,0,5,1,1,2,6,5,1,0,14,21,1,0,14,0,0,6,7,6,1,4,18,13,35,12,35,27,6,49,1,2,1,2,24,13,1,7,32,177,49,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092899377918805,0.0,0.0,0.151079895747185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057950650277933224,0.0,0.1955728824327058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655268029025738,0.0,0.10389528579517657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946571507174028,0.0,0.09513063084201244,0.08701633718757211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014854806854056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936071444877208,0.0,0.0878552399227751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780677713859805,0.0,0.08722346340994673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988249519949954,0.0,0.0,0.0958579331026468,0.07547718714548529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335881960890157,0.0,0.0,0.08617680128976928,0.060879218382779925,0.16364384220327258,0.09335132885382502,0.0,0.14497149376509638,0.0,0.0934363129738954,0.06583863374849384,0.0,0.08904498883513895,0.0,0.09686185076180168,0.14295236758932414,0.06815601728014,0.1879046316264713,0.0,0.0,0.15071466042015536,0.09071534418694334,0.07633791506270382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19209206185137054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456496854777283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049951121091794,0.06946343021214149,0.0,0.09023276032028016,0.0,0.08714040884400268,0.0,0.041632842462332814,0.0,0.0,0.07541458208697513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153823785291475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946571507174028,0.17169482236538502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264448186874275,0.0,0.13144958893933334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057745412100571526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816145665356094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621222331634343,0.06776817529418977,0.0,0.0,0.06790711285500825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220429695982344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805460364421552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978875840925251,0.05661455241089424,0.0,0.08372551264173854,0.06765297536889824,0.14907258631579265,0.0,0.08077598609589542,0.0,0.0,0.057856916999860036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34178067714599875,0.0,0.07662053935724654,0.15799448370445432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241446939705003,0.3101958542458204,0.0,0.0,0.12107177472950036,0.0,0.0,0.1097542263996794
mentalhealth,GenderAssumer9001,2019/02/20,"I am convinced I died 2 years ago and this is an alternate timeline. At the age of 18 I was convicted of DUI. I swore to never drink and drive again. But years later, two years ago I did. I got blackout drunk then drove an hour to my house. 
But something weird happened. Halfway through driving home I fell asleep at the wheel and woke up in the nick of time to swerve out from on coming traffic and nearly collided with another vehicle. 

This is when I died. I can’t prove it but I did. And ever since then I’ve felt off. I spiraled into alcoholism, drug use, flunked out of college, and my most recent act - moved to Hawaii. Moving to Hawaii was a test, really. I’ve lived in the same town for all my life and thought well, my mind can’t create a place I’ve never been to. So I bought a one way ticket and have been in Hawaii for the last month. I thought that the plane would blow up on lift off or something would prevent me from leaving my town but here I am. 

I’ve been sober since Jan 2nd of this year but the feeling still lingers. I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes I just want to swim out in the ocean and see how far I can get. ",1.8101120448179275,3.5268212436974835,2.662773109243698,96.15771708683478,78.15966386554621,5.7098039215686285,22.677871148459392,6.42735559955562,0.2575803921568633,888,27,204,7,21,279,142,238,0.053,0.895,0.052000000000000005,-0.3182,0,0,5,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,13,0,19,6,1,2,5,41,34,20,2,3,7,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,6,15,3,1,6,4,1,9,5,2,1,2,14,3,23,2,36,18,3,52,0,1,1,0,0,21,0,2,21,130,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329151841633539,0.1404018277287344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776001284341854,0.0,0.0,0.13029046760689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316946641095812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27269671988148664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286992325313399,0.15235535992404098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883782247575522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642804935675684,0.0,0.12614231514878524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863894719674049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507401556067276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617605610021045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178162603260693,0.0,0.1293796682768573,0.1515911696045434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722012446167619,0.10708961348208157,0.0,0.13910904481119502,0.0,0.0,0.09279530772242998,0.0,0.0,0.11600810709392595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265310040030198,0.0,0.10486369547962596,0.2792654598186329,0.0,0.0,0.2026517496890215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902430881008856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726077702398876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416333184371823,0.0,0.1297187246610722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469028733706023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21735246645958167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20228053342840627,0.12993499854584775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491766930711467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085969829316536,0.07660685918032932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833602805038696,0.0,0.0,0.1134673597306054,0.0,0.0,0.07748943098326623,0.10428077595227947,0.0,0.0,0.1181235064190935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866525957583016,0.0,0.0,0.3384093658280682
mentalhealth,peelynips,2019/02/20,"How can I get over shame? I was really depressed last year, it was one of the worst years of my life. I was in year 12 in high school, I was self harming pretty badly, I wanted a romantic relationship with my best friend and she rejected me (I know it's so ridiculously stupid to me now). I treated her really badly and I was the one who decided we shouldn't be friends because of me.
 I have apologized to her so many times but I still feel a lot of guilt about what happened. I just can't stop hating myself and I feel disgusting for it. How can I let go of this? ",1.4165177195685672,3.266269372881357,3.3936363636363645,89.83834360554701,79.84745762711864,7.3417565485362095,21.7442218798151,8.296473431620573,1.1075830508474582,438,13,98,9,11,148,77,118,0.229,0.644,0.127,-0.901,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,1,8,16,4,2,4,0,12,1,0,2,0,17,20,8,0,2,2,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,12,0,2,5,2,23,4,13,12,3,13,0,2,0,0,10,4,0,1,8,74,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065240005683543,0.11189433134864772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19263120957513635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809693410910447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562335113248588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836305745275018,0.0,0.09590068894269546,0.0,0.10431938216668807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231839609545326,0.0,0.0,0.18122403004011167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19393750747670668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087784536410196,0.14962303664276316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18769894526822012,0.12965137585404374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605316201861585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18609746845803987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487652534373427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674293800051375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351819728350544,0.0,0.0,0.19707097396748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857689654253217,0.0,0.0,0.1914894491213078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658844839176086,0.15346144304721065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703326424969574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826637238144553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35461308032468136
mentalhealth,aliennaxx,2019/02/20,"Am I experiencing anxiety in the disorder sense? Okay, so I’ll try to keep this as short and precise as possible. 
I’ve struggled mentally for a almost, if not actually my entire life. When I was 15 I realised that my mental issues is mainly related to my family situation which is pretty bad. I got it confirmed again when I moved to Japan almost a year ago, when my panic attacks completely disappeared and when I experienced sadness in my home country, it was always a big part of me that just wanted me to disappear, to die, even though I was past the point of actually thinking that way. I’d worked on myself for a number of years and realised I’d probably just always be like that at that point, but when I moved here, when I was sad, I was just sad. I never felt anxiety here until my dad got diagnosed with cancer (it’s quite serious) and my mom got jealous that I was giving him more attention than her, and when I got confirmed that my grandmother (mom’s side) actually does hate me, and has no love for me. I actually was determined to cut off the mom side of my family after this, and years of trying to please them and just ending up hurting myself, but I didn’t feel like I could make suck a big decision without consulting a professional, but my psychologist never replied... 
I’ve stayed out of touch with my family until now after I visited for Christmas, I just needed a break, and I’ve been feeling fine. But now that I’ve taken it up again, I feel so anxious, and not in a way that feels normal, even though it’s not the “keeps going on for six months and disturbs your everyday life continuously” type, I know (I think) it’ll pass in max a week. I’m used to this. But my symptoms don’t feel like they fit into what I found online etc, and even though I’ve been to psychologists for years, no one has ever really diagnosed me. I think they probably felt like it was better that I focus on overcoming and maybe worried that I’d be swallowed by my diagnosis and just become it. I’m kinda beyond that point now, and I’m in a very different environment, but if I can’t actually pinpoint what I’m experiencing to people in my current situation, it makes it really hard for me kind of. I want my boyfriend and my teachers to know properly kind of. 

So, my symptoms are as follows:
- Normal breathing, but a constant feeling of loss of oxygen
- Numbness and shakiness. My senses are a little lowered, but I can still feel. My hands tend to get kinda shaky, but not necessarily constantly, I’d approximate between 60-90 % of the time, at varying degrees. 
- Loss of motivation and focus (but I make sure to eat, sleep and try to work out) 
- Loss of speech and memory, I struggle with my words and can’t remember simple things. I don’t forget everything, but I can forget things like being hungry, having to use the toilet, things I learned in school 6 months ago and am constantly using (and not as a brain fart for a single thing, I forget a lot of it), and forgetting words when i speak so I struggle to express myself compared to as usual
- Sadness and non talkativeness (is that a word? Haha) My voice gets really lowered and I struggle to speak up at times 
- A lot of times I just want to lay down and cry in the middle of the road

Not experiencing:
- My heart rate is normal, and I’m not feeling scared constantly, which I was when I experienced the attacks before. Don’t know about my heart rate previously, but I did feel like I was dying. However I do feel very easily shaken and scared. 
- I can feel restless, but I don’t have to
- I DEPEND on my 8 hours and I have my entire life, so being unable to sleep is something that doesn’t happen very often, even when something like this happens. It may, but it might as well not

It’s kind of what I’ve always felt as the buildup to a panic attack before, but not the attack itself.   

Im way over my years of mental illness, and I just want to move on. I’m not letting it swallow me, and look forward. 
This doesn’t necessarily happen all the time, but has happened a bit recently due to recent events. But I can definitely say I find this worse than “first day at new school nervousness”, so I’m not sure how this could or would be classified. 
I can’t get a psychologist cause they are too expensive for me here, but I’m doing my best! Thanks a lot in advance ",5.3220739196949225,5.730817730904821,6.618021417644059,76.21322284548701,67.93066980023502,9.665884752677208,29.92264372658139,9.647358000301196,2.6716735516484493,3383,118,652,69,53,1150,338,851,0.163,0.733,0.103,-0.9945,6,0,2,0,0,1,108.0,0,1,4,11,47,52,8,13,33,2,57,21,7,10,7,154,120,82,2,13,41,4,17,7,0,4,10,5,1,0,46,38,3,2,27,0,1,11,26,32,1,3,23,28,95,20,99,85,11,111,0,8,1,1,19,41,1,16,63,455,141,9,0.0,0.0,0.22696677406223326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246807017213208,0.0,0.0931590306639625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611626305501375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116992905182548,0.05255035933789344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21167675402191,0.0,0.0,0.038839301048389216,0.0,0.0513737753809201,0.07916416260389947,0.0,0.04881615485985854,0.041140028688772735,0.0507839265869382,0.0,0.0,0.05192775319971354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477852178975395,0.0,0.0,0.048771623224758975,0.2010710716402228,0.0,0.07427921635190128,0.0,0.05109614698929986,0.029999268444650413,0.0,0.0,0.0944264553319469,0.09655348281254304,0.048599800103872624,0.05331189307779104,0.0,0.04070686755433545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04759795135616162,0.0,0.0,0.04119977668190178,0.0,0.05187814889371127,0.12289473230844734,0.04207680112499899,0.0,0.0,0.041805994787152516,0.0,0.13155473569152507,0.0,0.2587213178467424,0.0996941048069765,0.1339892888658044,0.0,0.04251520166002635,0.03956687705419448,0.0,0.05100289735340298,0.0,0.0,0.07290879125328409,0.04462282699137973,0.026436376150913786,0.0,0.1488138494645833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645374075753559,0.0,0.04166961133412496,0.04592537384922085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024445797204224,0.0,0.0,0.04665980203090854,0.0,0.04580934300453293,0.0,0.04979683243222977,0.0,0.050245758989865316,0.04855109881205503,0.0,0.0826919337774517,0.0,0.14531920461665473,0.07669268960233666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04756623186582647,0.09856785391283206,0.1590791487952869,0.04662171316315917,0.0,0.0,0.03906211087207312,0.0,0.0,0.11863989236645407,0.04198292121139719,0.0,0.09315029463012138,0.0,0.04673203623765389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063295246632576,0.04934661305137114,0.0,0.16343854701348046,0.07425798904770174,0.1483189059981386,0.0,0.03449136563076508,0.07175272309485191,0.04492588686357598,0.0,0.0,0.13672876305775145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031520757104555715,0.0,0.0,0.10915408639521522,0.0,0.05037279310912825,0.0444052244511018,0.032248656347496095,0.0,0.0,0.05106110437326738,0.13191927024956945,0.05244031934544185,0.0,0.047323962718836016,0.10030522267568663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049475980960636656,0.0,0.0,0.0893989060611047,0.0,0.0918587847882518,0.0,0.05269408125966635,0.0,0.0,0.03699175597096428,0.093142182505554,0.09415428169048597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457289985098102,0.09310010712370548,0.0,0.0,0.07162128688669134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04958035707430029,0.037148104988498284,0.0,0.0,0.1945164149037132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768242597017736,0.09669682540500672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04282610662079196,0.0,0.0,0.12361387616518707,0.08941760781398157,0.13710655711513378,0.0,0.10849648744444602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474486861717167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205258586054312,0.05123130881781835,0.11514285312207408,0.10974645306842178,0.11076780219024517,0.037312698326878765,0.0,0.04182388388004795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044840207429548216,0.0,0.06772907367597363,0.04723972302242612,0.04740424668183605,0.03304395851240532,0.0,0.0,0.14977537546694855
mentalhealth,cobiakiller850,2019/02/20,What do i do I have a friend in a diffrent state.that seems like he is losing it.he makes no sense and is saying crazy stuff.i have to no way to get to him.i have got ahold of the family they see it to but they havent done anything.they think its cause he is using again.he could be but i have abused many drugs with this man and never heard shit like this come out of him.what do i do.im scared he will hurt his self it if gets worse.(he hasnt sad anything about hurting him self),2.3390909090909098,4.316138060606061,1.5727272727272743,103.37909090909092,77.48484848484848,4.8040404040404034,20.090909090909093,5.033348758259628,-0.6670121212121214,384,9,91,1,9,108,72,99,0.2,0.6759999999999999,0.124,-0.8331,1,0,1,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,2,1,1,9,1,1,3,0,16,2,1,3,1,15,26,5,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,1,1,2,0,3,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,3,3,8,3,10,20,0,5,0,4,1,0,13,2,1,2,3,51,14,0,0.0,0.21026477506525404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603702473399766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823035059745764,0.0,0.15286876193088128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141689858891414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816063829180477,0.0,0.0,0.20580087530453148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672964332160041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371075642412725,0.0,0.18543430858111476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193346650179908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799558749858257,0.0,0.19169061955198688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339903024891232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985358349970494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845800884873145,0.1799197470459929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368704963474489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411257937574456,0.17767153914935552,0.0,0.14141512829342964,0.16155575697858118,0.3702654693086319,0.0,0.18216333973689824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315281167647933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371119994542553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327115477063008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086196231701065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,P6Cameron,2019/02/20,"Looking for people with schizophrenia who use/d cannabis for documentary research! I'm looking to do a Skype **interview** with someone who has experienced **schizophrenia** or **psychosis** and uses or has used **cannabis**, as part of my research for a **documentary** exploring the possible correlation between the two.

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If you fit the description and would be willing to chat about your mental health and consumption, or would like to know more, please get in touch! 

​

Thanks very much",3.691203703703703,4.686668012345677,2.9163734567901267,80.16493055555556,128.1358024691358,5.794444444444442,31.77006172839507,6.6274283507984215,3.2210283950617287,403,23,57,9,24,118,60,81,0.0,0.868,0.132,0.8772,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,7,1,0,2,0,15,15,8,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,2,13,11,3,3,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,4,1,41,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474889518157118,0.3896975300702617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837788210664383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044976875425571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812686383699497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834130824805224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693154727412694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16160003146658286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787930811015072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364873897767216,0.0,0.11116990269598953,0.0,0.0,0.17602153539543186,0.0,0.18077606509122152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586819324386035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763325499765126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664344471357736,0.0,0.0,0.4154854648558627,0.0,0.1323095928895806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22782305178427306,0.0,0.3896975300702617,0.0
mentalhealth,thisismynewthrowa,2019/02/20,"I think I was incorrectly diagnosed with ADHD; I feel like I might have PTSD instead. Help? Advice? Hi.

To make a long story short, about 6 years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD combined. This made sense to me at the time; I had a tendency to be easily distracted, procrastination was a huge issue, I always felt jumpy and alert of everything all at one; my anxiety was off the charts. 

However, I've recently started to notice a few different issues: I become emotionally numb the second someone shows a negative emotion, I've been having nightmares (mainly about losing my SO or other family members) as of late, I feel constantly tired and I either fail to sleep or oversleep by several hours, I feel worthless and like a disappointment/failure about 75% of the time (in spite of my SO and family recognizing and hailing my achievements--IE, I'm in a PhD program with a 4.0), I'm constantly on guard and feel like I have to watch my back, in my head I create escape plans in different scenarios that I think up, I have a very difficult time connecting with people I'm not very familiar with and although I seem friendly I am actually screaming inside with my being forced to socially interact with others. 

I have experienced trauma; when I was 12, my best friend tried to take her own life; I was the one who called 9-1-1. At 14, I was raped. At 15 I was in a relationship that lasted for 4 years and was abusive throughout. I was kicked in the head (accident, gym class) and sustained a concussion after blacking out. School aside, my parents tended to use corporal punishment with me lasting through high school (they've since mellowed out). At 20 a different friend attempted suicide and succeeded; for no reason at all I blame myself for their death. I literally cannot talk about it without getting incredibly upset. I've also developed a slight fear of strange dogs as my dog and I were attacked by one two years ago. 

That's a brief summation; I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Right now I just feel kind of numb and tired, but I'm still working on things I procrastinated on and have to finished for later on today so I'm up now. I would just really appreciate some advice or insight from professionals, or those who have ADHD and/or PTSD and can guide me in some way/give me advice. I just feel kind of lost and confused and I'm not sure if what I'm saying sounds accurate or if I'm just overthinking. I'm open to questions and all that if you have any.

Thank you. ",5.704203504579851,6.399973080246916,6.646004247975579,75.33723416965356,67.1687242798354,10.2215850258861,31.72680207088809,10.237710317436264,3.2427459976105126,1991,78,371,48,31,664,253,486,0.131,0.7809999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9517,6,0,0,0,0,1,63.0,0,2,1,9,19,30,4,4,21,0,29,12,4,4,6,75,59,35,2,4,18,1,7,3,3,2,7,3,0,0,14,28,0,1,14,2,0,1,6,17,0,5,16,13,51,13,67,39,12,56,0,4,2,1,19,29,0,14,29,246,65,11,0.0,0.08935579664447559,0.0735952761054735,0.0,0.271906642881386,0.22108734465628696,0.1337037198347689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031026185673194,0.06275227196563407,0.0,0.0,0.051285562984298164,0.0,0.05769314253834225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579674944558924,0.0,0.0579903583704789,0.0,0.0,0.08329120417208502,0.0,0.0,0.07914458867741049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700831345451667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629961157897073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530915941447517,0.0,0.23638145200503716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16966601900418787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777916595802813,0.0,0.1421912544424626,0.08486412717301013,0.22879600569459385,0.1077546144462783,0.07241132356632289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17479897369819175,0.0,0.0394018217348597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23219615908226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050549850568922035,0.07968129511422296,0.0,0.0,0.07426970887167242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742971794266153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706861399102173,0.0,0.12294844348301368,0.08507269356060157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326865172087409,0.1105335533291007,0.0,0.0,0.06674091284578465,0.0,0.08437137268062106,0.08232562826152028,0.0,0.0,0.07136057745633619,0.05034086069010748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000460920746559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586177801502991,0.0,0.0,0.15331178969353929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374070127333925,0.0,0.0,0.05228405738528373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631486943591532,0.0,0.0844833393202033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04831351198340502,0.07754035496211956,0.07446434238157476,0.08096871326984625,0.0,0.06440497357115528,0.0,0.05997394344519651,0.0,0.15265032483617752,0.0,0.06865602363896822,0.0,0.08519877459803163,0.0,0.06238501234965909,0.0,0.07547060706933642,0.07687725983188733,0.06389985274902182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337993377897708,0.0,0.06022742876615982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249301928669599,0.0,0.1421576434598211,0.0,0.05670355345503985,0.06061663857510762,0.0,0.06943305147420878,0.0,0.0,0.0501031339522756,0.1449708567024995,0.0,0.0,0.13192727740006086,0.17335952312848565,0.07148568484860117,0.0,0.0,0.051202610266541035,0.0,0.07367061276314897,0.0,0.0,0.06513533297671006,0.0,0.12445243144954045,0.0,0.059861823530994965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269847007429057,0.0,0.05490384989329428,0.0,0.0,0.053573463789714684,0.0,0.0,0.14569656933488406
mentalhealth,benradley,2019/02/20,"Running the London Marathon for Mental Health Hi everyone, I hope this is okay to post on here. I am running the London Marathon this year for a mental health charity in the UK. I wanted to reach out to people that struggle with mental illness as I would love to create a platform through a short online documentary for people to speak out and talk about their struggles. I want to try and run each individual mile for a different person that struggles with some form of mental illness and (if anyone is willing to participate) have each person record a small video piece talking about their struggle. The documentary will be about me running the London Marathon for 26 different people, and I want to include each person's story in the video. I am hoping this might encourage the people that are participating and encourage other people who watch the short documentary piece that I put online to speak out and not stay quiet as well as bring further awareness to just how many people struggle with various forms of mental health. I am happy to provide more information if it's something anyone would like to be a part of, and I can provide some contact details to message me privately. If you don't want to be a part of it I totally understand that as well and my overall aim of running the marathon anyway is to raise money and awareness for anyone that struggles with mental illness so I hope somewhere along the line I can help you anyway. ",9.482272990167726,8.57149422556391,8.803533834586467,68.38984673221518,59.751879699248114,10.741006362058997,39.25853094274147,9.661875296680813,3.9096654713707344,1168,50,188,17,13,370,125,266,0.08,0.764,0.157,0.9571,2,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,2,0,11,17,0,6,17,1,19,7,0,1,1,41,29,18,0,12,5,0,0,1,0,5,6,3,0,3,13,20,0,0,2,6,1,7,2,6,2,0,0,4,20,11,45,21,14,22,0,0,1,1,20,12,0,9,2,149,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725518169031256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660970214798174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761890633183479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487811330258621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25425990431159434,0.0,0.0,0.053443885775354416,0.0,0.0,0.2375809643041871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03895390742655876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196286798899508,0.0,0.0,0.08083755901724185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4821175040334939,0.08458496212873848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17268787193231702,0.0,0.331664267172622,0.2088614374264523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763629404445115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015449215084558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06138297508499393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498562243964368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.50013048223554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281740171982106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054134016692175616,0.0,0.0,0.08300569830976222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881162455241272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14338052463247278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328120843656347,0.0,0.0,0.051345953362598284
mentalhealth,Occassionally_Sad,2019/02/20,"Welp I am back here again. I thought I had gotten better. I made friends. I have a relatively good relationship with my family. I am a better person in general. I learnt how to cook, drive, study, social and becoming more of an “adult” in many ways. 

However every time it turns dark, once I am left all alone again, even if I am with people (I know it sounds weird but it’s how I feel)that I would consider family or friends. I cannot shake the feeling of nothing and at the same time I cannot stop myself from wanting to crawl down and just cry. To give up and stop fighting. 

It is now 2:10 in the morning. This is my third time that I cannot sleep no matter how I tried for the last two weeks. 

This is a throw away account. My main account is now known by at least two real life friends and it is better if they not know about this through Reddit. I would rather let them know by telling them directly than to letting them read a Reddit post. 

Thanks for reading this post and I hope that your day gets better. I am confident that one day things will get better even if it’s just for a moment of it. ",2.1348666666666682,3.964914697777779,3.06238888888889,93.14425000000004,77.57777777777778,6.277777777777778,21.916666666666664,7.1686216300943375,0.4881333333333333,857,24,190,10,20,272,128,225,0.055,0.74,0.205,0.9888,1,1,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,1,4,5,15,14,1,1,10,0,20,3,1,4,1,38,34,14,0,8,9,0,1,0,3,3,1,1,0,2,15,8,1,2,6,3,2,3,5,3,0,4,4,2,28,11,26,25,5,30,0,0,0,0,15,9,0,5,15,135,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102372585331284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071507644264406,0.08242784848843954,0.0,0.0,0.11839062476653585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.474035017210933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775083143826402,0.13826634727025494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160516752596775,0.0,0.09031806558769934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20211151486056372,0.0,0.10840401187423797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484603255575689,0.0,0.11201197865964137,0.10283309581955563,0.0,0.0899117275280166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647077284767756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673794401372314,0.08737983309710345,0.0,0.0,0.11646981510527404,0.21923231713574107,0.07571638590643534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014323593077298,0.0,0.10868089632802877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285837813367874,0.0,0.0,0.11416126819346288,0.07263943712629163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431687752267732,0.0936002542375375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20533011918341704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214451946161756,0.12201361350237648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508942205655273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072743804254308,0.10927380522716497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792429238329389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369487148589001,0.09869256214011636,0.0,0.0,0.07121689967545647,0.0,0.0,0.08510241544655979,0.1875222353956069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277970200321437,0.11659951451415256,0.20943171511706585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322754678015771,0.08508796046286286,0.08598693854773765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522992952741442,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sophiasgaler,2019/02/20,"A man in Japan is playing music to help save people who might come to this sad forest You might remember this forest in Japan from the tasteless drama vlogger Logan Paul caused. Anyway, this lovely musician is playing music loudly to remind anyone who comes to the forest to end their lives that they're not alone :) 

​

[https://www.facebook.com/bbcworldservice/videos/2156276431122333/UzpfSTEwMDAwMTcyNzAwMzIxNzoyMjEyMzM4NDgyMTY3MDMw/](https://www.facebook.com/bbcworldservice/videos/2156276431122333/UzpfSTEwMDAwMTcyNzAwMzIxNzoyMjEyMzM4NDgyMTY3MDMw/) 

​

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mentalhealth,alll_of_us,2019/02/20,Being single makes depression worse Being single seems to make my depression 10x worse and I just don’t understand it. I know that I don’t need to be in a relationship but anytime I’m not in one I feel absolutely lonely. This only causes me to jump into the first relationship I can get into and then it tears me apart when the relationship ends 2-3 months later. Any kind of advice would be helpful ,4.291434599156118,5.843607278481013,5.975379746835443,75.67336497890295,71.15189873417722,8.810970464135021,24.55907172995781,9.2995712137729,2.0764666666666667,321,9,59,7,6,110,57,79,0.184,0.77,0.046,-0.8458,0,2,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,3,0,16,17,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,3,0,2,0,1,8,1,8,12,2,12,0,3,0,0,4,5,0,1,6,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17762829977011865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12361314533606657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673286430203487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131248593863562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609985817143641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191083630070956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461761207531566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496986740904452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183986411547665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929055546247125,0.09989871505994614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426722752652296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509096748202202,0.0,0.0,0.13478376329122402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317535669133102,0.1382479801830851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5854745510445589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654810152104318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892340509330155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704882452125544,0.12912765270066434,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,renurak,2019/02/20,"Need your advice From last 3-4 months, I am observing strange behavioural changes in myself-

1. In public, my brain just randomly picks up a few painful thoughts/memories, I used to sob/cry silently. After shedding tears for a minute, i usually become blank- no emotions, nothing. After being in this state for 5 min, i am good to go again.

2. While in party or at any fun event, when i am happy, my brain again picks up thoughts which make me low in a matter of few seconds.

3. I feel sometimes that something is holding me back emotionally. 

(PS: while writing this, i am feeling empty/nihilistic again)",4.521406096361847,6.402772566371684,4.761533923303833,83.28757128810228,71.12389380530973,7.146116027531957,32.90953785644051,7.793537801064563,2.431899508357916,472,23,85,6,9,148,83,113,0.096,0.769,0.134,0.6486,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,6,3,2,4,0,14,13,4,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,2,13,3,16,11,2,25,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,2,14,55,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18705010241511832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016986327567054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718756275920164,0.0,0.0,0.2114046142472046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4273684989087471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20249339947528625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21026216515524349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4306358595120469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19357198560540406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878647443834864,0.16055117634392976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037665477986237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603009060308373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777207798649154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15278691718686546,0.0,0.0,0.1419329958128647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836694062078284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20368077598771456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736186326489695,0.18931592837443964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519634121744296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653224980798103,0.2108183601011479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kQpounds,2019/02/20,"My pretty fucked up life I’m 15 and see things and hear things that aren’t real. I don’t have much memory of my childhood but I remember the things that were pretty traumatic . I was living in Ireland at the time and we lived right outside our town only like a 20 min walk into town .

One of the fucked up things I remember is my mother tried to scare me to not go outside and to not go on walks this is when I was really young 6,7,8 of 9 not really sure but my mom told me if I left the house without her permission a black van will pick me up and they will rape me and beat me until I die .

So needless to say I didint go outside but as time moved on I turned into a bad kid she’d kept me locked away from the real world so much I didint know anything about these knew things so I started smoking weed and selling drugs and fighting with knives and shit like that .

My mom got sick of me coming home smelling like weed or with blood on me or picking me up from the council houses (which she used to live in but as soon as my dad came along and took her out of the flats she thinks she’s better then them) . So she stopped me, she’d lock me in the house and not let me leave . Sometimes she wouldn’t let me eat or drink anything and she’d wait until I started crying with hunger to do anything some of those days I got sick of it and I’d wait until she unlocked the door for a sec or find an unlocked window and sprint out of the door and run into town to buy food .

She would call the police on me and say that I ran away or something like that and when I told the police she wasn’t letting me eat or drink they didint believe me she lied to them .

Then she found a gun in my room . And I was 14 at the time . She would constantly search my room take out all the drawers, look under everything etc . I was just terrified of her that I had to have something to protect myself I couldn’t just take one of her knives I had self harmed in the past so she was always checking if I took her razors or knives.

Then she started putting me in foster care as a punishment for running away once the police arrested me for running away she’d tell them that I’ve threatened her with knives and with violence and that she would not feel safe with me at home .

Just before she put me in care I was kicked outta my school because I was fighting and caught with alcohol that I robbed from the shop beside school. So a few weeks later I was put into a school in the country side. I haven’t mentioned that I loved school I got to be out of school and be with my friends and it was amazing loads of dumb teenage stupid shit everyday I got to be an actual kid.

But this other school I got moved too was different I started having visual and audio delusions and made myself to push myself away from people. Countless nights in foster homes being scared of the people their but I kept up a thuggish look so nobody fucked with me .

So my mom thought she had the perfect plan everything was going perfect she got to fuck with my mental  health and physical health and fuck with my dad . Whenever my dad pissed off my mom she’d use me as revenge she would put me in foster care to piss him off because he cared about me unlike her .

My father was in England and i would only see him every few months for the last year or two since I had delusions . But my mom didint factor in him fucking up her plans . She forgot he got joint custody in court after they split up when I was 3 sooooo he went to Ireland and signed a few forms to gain full ownership of me since my mom gave her custody away when I was in care .

Ended up just hugging and crying with my dad when I seen him and once I was in his car driving away I was so fucking happy but sad I was leaving my friends in Ireland but happy I was away from my mother.

I now live in England and it’s better but not at the same time I can do whatever I want really and I’ve been taken out of school for mental health reasons . I haven’t made a single friend even though I’ve been here for a year I don’t leave the house ever barely ever leave my room really . I think her making me scared of everyone and everything besides her has really fucked me up in the long term. I’ve got crazy anxiety when I’m outside but I’m trying to learn to live with it . I struggle with suicide and depression a lot. I have no friends I literally do nothing all day besides sleep eat and drink. I have the feeling of being a burden on my dad since we have no money and are getting evicted this month if I killed myself he’d have more money so less shit to worry about .

Thank you for listening ❤️",3.401283954419465,4.32506712146597,4.1707660917770255,90.17435671388976,72.54973821989529,6.916076378195259,24.305897751770864,6.986292612891036,0.7409146904835229,3611,98,786,31,68,1156,355,955,0.192,0.701,0.107,-0.9987,4,0,7,1,4,1,38.0,3,1,7,8,32,54,20,4,41,0,69,34,7,8,7,146,144,87,3,11,33,14,2,4,4,8,8,5,9,3,26,65,9,8,13,4,6,25,17,29,0,3,53,14,158,25,133,68,17,137,0,2,6,11,89,67,14,13,49,538,184,8,0.0,0.0,0.038416136928701834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04207093861615658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032756176754660554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03011535224657214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718610813586373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958898406085549,0.0,0.03286947865948163,0.04799504547196037,0.0,0.033498089345927136,0.044352693658109794,0.0,0.06963314264339264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040197714729370816,0.04502491946055232,0.20068443501885894,0.0,0.0,0.03391085252677381,0.0,0.04254132489461667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648475475673797,0.0507764191076962,0.0,0.033906407277689565,0.0,0.040856330535550815,0.04112973326628817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156928851859457,0.04565277460341043,0.12084562317848033,0.0,0.0,0.03486713570705061,0.0,0.043904181123928174,0.026001277520046592,0.07121871296881982,0.03316807048003936,0.037616487055582314,0.10614052388193272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03980988612596501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035980372353424495,0.0,0.04760226636500888,0.04316346074407379,0.1216581944555336,0.29115040516442153,0.02056743121443489,0.0,0.08949181661573985,0.0,0.2518806218019876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381298604520543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553461064781704,0.04436903548027574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846377193038025,0.0,0.0,0.1816951501089014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04355332615801703,0.0,0.02163486173520967,0.03208904490856944,0.0,0.1667342421356872,0.042771941704816664,0.1207650911079344,0.027805803942954874,0.07693015719869717,0.0,0.17380720861962928,0.034838214927758536,0.06611608268152201,0.0,0.0,0.03346808777912762,0.035529906449692665,0.07449928473520485,0.026277520782832454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934457632922998,0.0,0.0,0.27663421782504405,0.06284411203122517,0.08368096204803127,0.05787798229430907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03694290082439818,0.0,0.03777332821735095,0.0,0.0,0.08384831904653077,0.05335167343449746,0.05988016832124937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03757988784727412,0.05458370737878874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009999874770647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15829728231941395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961565121745195,0.126096306045581,0.040475436079020134,0.0,0.0,0.0891894000506184,0.033618873581682376,0.0,0.06261182362419418,0.11823854565570853,0.2788878080231082,0.06274018969004996,0.0,0.04106796433387365,0.0,0.121227791830922,0.09769341064589132,0.0,0.03939504447422343,0.0,0.0,0.060612686051010875,0.038934588219708716,0.0,0.11145556909708808,0.0,0.0,0.03291225233874435,0.0,0.04115453275427597,0.0,0.04306068666741589,0.0,0.03710256816475141,0.0,0.059197589550472975,0.0,0.03440815611849722,0.03624348944608999,0.0,0.0,0.13076714677374238,0.05044907387599962,0.038677498749322387,0.031252694521144785,0.0918199576825762,0.0,0.0,0.07523297411116461,0.0874755141149296,0.05345469413790548,0.042819572033333,0.03845546205267942,0.0,0.0,0.06800023052957288,0.0,0.0,0.023219449112845836,0.0,0.03157752349495183,0.0,0.0,0.03649324592389847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037948011457672494,0.0,0.0,0.03997870779988858,0.0,0.1398245668472642,0.0,0.0,0.05070161794614363
mentalhealth,Screamyy,2019/02/20,"Lately, I've been feeling like something just isn't right. Hey guys, I've never been diagnosed with any mental health issues, and growing up, I never even considered that these things could affect me. I'm currently in my 4th year of college, and I'm starting to piece together some things after a friend made an off-handed comment to me. 

We were studying for an exam, and I was having trouble focusing as I always do. When I study, I pay attention for the first few minutes, and then get on my phone for 10-15 minutes. Very inefficient, but I get bored easily, and I have no self control. We were taking turns reading and deciphering PowerPoint slides, and it was my turn. Of course, I wasn't paying attention, so he joked and said I have ADHD.

I took his comment as gospel, and I began to recollect on some things. I constantly have nervous energy. I cannot sit down without shaking my leg or moving around in some way. My memory is absolutely terrible - short and long term. Sometimes, I'll do things and have no memory of it ten seconds later. Things like setting down my phone or my keys and then not being able to find them immediately. When I leave for class, I always get in my car and then forget if I locked the door or turned the oven/stove off (even when I hadn't cooked anything). Countless times, I've had to turn around when I was halfway to class because of this worry.

Thinking back, these traits are playing a bigger role in my life than I considered. I always doubted that I have Adhd, because I've never been the talkative type. I just never have anything to say. Also, I don't have much trouble learning new things, if I could just remain focused for long enough.

I don't know if maybe I'm overreacting or not. However, it seems that some of these characteristics are detrimental to my daily life. I'm not sure who I should talk to - therapist or psychiatrist, or no one at all. As a broke college student, I'm not sure if I should even make it a priority.

Sorry for the long ramble. This really helped me assemble my thoughts, even if my post may seem disjointed. I'd appreciate any advice.",5.363646373646375,6.2758925700245705,6.147856947856948,77.83407771407774,68.01719901719902,9.174592774592774,30.061789061789064,9.348350401419415,2.62000434980435,1664,61,310,32,27,547,212,407,0.12,0.8059999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9583,3,0,1,0,0,0,59.0,2,0,1,2,16,15,0,3,11,0,34,6,1,4,7,71,59,37,0,9,20,0,1,2,1,3,4,2,1,2,19,18,1,1,11,4,2,6,18,8,0,4,16,3,46,7,40,37,10,53,1,1,0,0,20,16,0,19,29,216,65,11,0.08584849110471299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20634640683537586,0.08389015193442742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865300732023343,0.21429846533507008,0.0,0.0,0.11675983564280627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129198682735986,0.15284671604050334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660121905484159,0.0,0.10466488672109373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277172064899038,0.09628638261930167,0.13708606918362906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871344113747425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870444005937085,0.0,0.2268084748730411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04340757656108518,0.061330179198546574,0.0,0.0,0.0784639655931579,0.07302268267794687,0.0,0.0,0.06632633127111151,0.0,0.13455688000923074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850035032742104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125293158788284,0.0,0.0,0.05754243397896205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960352057510937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04718008557914916,0.0,0.09684083726318674,0.0909011565363265,0.0,0.0,0.12127465621752816,0.0838824727579604,0.0,0.0,0.22791963939960586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123191801295561,0.057304534436854376,0.0,0.08624634813615538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651508725295128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912433598858261,0.0631085188159516,0.0,0.2648465949262233,0.08291300766473997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058173159348966226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221912376352791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858717229256196,0.0,0.05499674167792816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331414233523871,0.08166157414723323,0.06827016583259539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630648411579007,0.08955869908242915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066090362630207,0.08490635284279471,0.0961003572722388,0.060764003863674636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161822373782064,0.0,0.06454738133420275,0.06900176526692185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967671494444562,0.3422035371191078,0.05500824668975896,0.0,0.0681541125676312,0.05005894553843582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953808323929751,0.0,0.3735140252285257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708339959427025,0.0,0.06814253632057787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275488191439416,0.0,0.0,0.08718330990176126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528361361809273
mentalhealth,ncb_phantom,2019/02/20,Dealing with PTSD and Depression I've been dealing with PTSD for the better part of 9 years now and recently within the last year I was also diagnosed with depression. I was prescribed Sertaline 200mg and Chlorpromazine 100mg which I was prescribed in prison I took those for a year. I'm out now and haven't taken them in 10 days or more because honestly I haven't been able to sleep on them.  I deal with the VA so I'm waiting on an appointment with the psychiatrist to get medicines squared away. So far I haven't had any side effects of not taking the medicine. I attend counseling weekly through the VA. I just wanna know if its ever gonna get better because I've been dealing with this shit for the better part of a decade. I've also had three suicide attempts in that 9 year range but I think I'm in an okay place. Sometimes not so much but I think I'm gonna be okay now. ,3.3675714285714307,4.829382011111111,4.108730158730161,88.50500000000002,73.33333333333333,7.142857142857142,27.301587301587304,7.7094869923839395,1.4633253968253972,702,26,146,9,14,224,97,180,0.07400000000000001,0.8490000000000001,0.077,-0.13699999999999998,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,2,5,10,9,1,0,11,2,12,3,2,1,1,25,27,13,1,2,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,11,0,1,4,0,0,2,5,3,0,1,10,2,13,6,25,14,4,26,0,2,1,0,6,12,1,2,12,91,18,0,0.1236179934349451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977145293759494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406447457738313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614317408763684,0.0,0.0,0.15071276283442014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32799020845058263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972337910410113,0.5097788927342074,0.212943993212596,0.1254696611981499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181955232559516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291705988504719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793721630202561,0.1007651637232785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087344884330913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26773248080905204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291544923908134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890056381724433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205785513115995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689209382267194,0.0,0.0,0.12370726887140415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226135641106815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521802080560572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294534661397587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841883743461976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734413920208194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991588978110956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31842373918794464
mentalhealth,electricBeaver,2019/02/20,"Is it common to feel like people are observing your life or have conversations with youself? To give context, I consider myself a relatively normal person, I'm not on any drugs or involved with crime. 

I'm not writing this for advice, I'm only writing this to see if other people feel the same 

I do this thing a lot where I get it in my head that someone is observing or just judging my actions. I know nobody is, and it's not a real paranoia, I just start acting like people are watching me. It's definitely strong enough that it affects my actions too. Even though I am totally sane and know nobody is actually going to judge me, I imagine their presence and act as though someone is looking at me behind my back.

I've also just realized recently that I have these very realistic conversations with myself. I never really realized until now, I just did it. It's never really been an actual voice, but when I do, I lose track of literally everything. I am so deep in my head that these conversations just kind of consume me. They're about a lot of things, mostly social interactions 

I consider myself very lonely too. I cant say I've had a close friend since second grade (I'm in college). Generaly I think I've gotten it in my head that I just don't want to have friends because I'm so uncomfortable around people due to my anxiety, but part of it is just a cynisism for people. I say this because these conversations or feelings that someone is watching me tend to lead to my loneliness. I get so in my head that I feel depressed and lonely.

I used to be suicidal, but now I feel like I've passed that low. I've reached the stage where I just know that to be totally technical and honest, life really doesnt mean anything. I mean to have meaning is a stupid phrase because if  you invent meaning, there has to be something more. if you find ""meaning"", you just ask, well... why? And then you need to redefine ""meaning"". So I don't really care much for life anymore and ironically that actually got me out of suicidal thoughts. Now I just feel so unbelievably lonely and isolated (I would never blame other people though, this is of my own doing)

I guess my question is, am I normal? Do other people feel like this. I feel so disconnected from the world. I feel like everybody is different. Do other people have these thoughts. I'm not really asking for advice on my depression or loneliness, that's not really what a redit thread is for. I'm only asking if anybody else feels the same way.",4.498643892339544,5.988107472049693,5.9621687370600425,76.21335662525881,70.55279503105591,9.01055900621118,29.15165631469979,9.444778638647367,2.7548712215320905,1971,76,357,44,36,668,207,483,0.139,0.7879999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9908,1,6,2,0,0,1,58.0,0,5,1,3,34,20,1,0,13,0,39,8,4,3,5,90,86,34,2,9,27,0,10,5,2,1,4,3,0,1,37,14,0,0,27,0,0,7,12,8,1,1,7,17,58,12,42,75,12,39,0,7,4,0,25,16,0,14,19,263,95,3,0.0,0.0,0.1821266081037372,0.0,0.0,0.12158355296610235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049750038349711714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04230554878565149,0.0,0.04759117213943136,0.0,0.06169650131193855,0.0,0.0,0.051194274202584295,0.055380895036199286,0.1744763953019487,0.0,0.0,0.04783634598865233,0.0,0.11376957102448765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342816391114374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716432284572493,0.0,0.0,0.06499715493607143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214489928607322,0.0,0.051969228500263434,0.0,0.0,0.06428049501398593,0.0,0.041089716107920136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591115014114273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145570285812633,0.1777739321973235,0.0,0.0,0.05685964023573953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612798195253948,0.0,0.06500526053142873,0.059678368911914664,0.03535589103158239,0.0,0.04975574390023051,0.0,0.06853232571110758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553853460060604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478308441233509,0.1025684594976328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318242062476692,0.15196552924154508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224149208547516,0.06959808989803261,0.0,0.10577897370304604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065954805764148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045732173342999005,0.04612859787628816,0.14394265563171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190695678703585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462839335173563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736834783844692,0.0,0.3450336682238829,0.05432016276587192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696904513708834,0.0,0.0,0.07080962972901053,0.2391233929337047,0.0,0.06142576362824882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894521743148164,0.0,0.0,0.04957403690902553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051461503586496905,0.0,0.0,0.06341618336764412,0.15813329408301607,0.04789299411258437,0.0,0.0,0.044033198842971896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609726592949736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826603221019914,0.03986223603578922,0.18336569526041266,0.0987770192823271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373024778453783,0.0,0.10266102395704316,0.03669360366980244,0.04938012080639391,0.0,0.0,0.05593507493383952,0.0,0.056135665585113736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04419284208045091,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,legionpotato,2019/02/20,"I just found this place and would like to share with you guys. I am 19, have had depression since I was 14 and it was dismissed as Angsty Teen© nonsense. Today, my obgyn of all doctors, told me my depression screening was so bad she was at a loss for words. I didn't even realize it was a depression screening, I just filled a form honestly. I'm starting medication for my problems and I hope I can get real support from anyone this time instead of just dismissal and being called a liar. I've been so afraid to get help thinking no one would believe but that's not the case, I've been bamboozled out of a good life. I'm taking the first step and if anyone here needs help taking that step I can lend an ear. ",2.7695287356321856,4.418432889655175,3.770775862068966,89.54972701149427,75.27586206896551,6.764367816091952,25.186781609195403,7.492282038375204,1.1178850574712642,559,19,118,7,12,180,96,145,0.15,0.725,0.125,-0.4109,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,8,14,1,1,8,0,16,4,1,0,1,24,29,10,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,1,6,7,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,8,0,2,11,3,14,6,12,15,2,10,0,4,2,0,8,3,0,2,5,77,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331088788788313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918028081665956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18780402397804105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702104643088986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4307129421139975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061561869278094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009803788865613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178754279280267,0.0,0.18276841715729825,0.0,0.0,0.17417865867346996,0.0,0.0,0.13981276187818192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505060367591962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22345934224786004,0.0,0.0,0.16556208205987208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773900161927517,0.0814369539680531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679239576083877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235994939316514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295434539102568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17415694009691873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950107113561215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897312036985238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137888773842885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798496689145513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891593227544756,0.0,0.0,0.2506622396618844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680906049260662,0.0,0.0,0.09719904312467954,0.0,0.15800387079904754,0.15928068972344178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23682544746728176,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unredead,2019/02/20,"BPD, Major Depression, PTSD, OCD, Anxiety (hospitalization levels), panic attacks, ADHD, autism, and I dissociate most of my life. Where should I go from here? Can anyone relate? Any tips or tricks you may have learned to help cope? Note: Outpatient at a mental health clinic and taking antipsychotic meds. 

I have a slew of mental health issues. I was institutionalized as a child for a short time. I also had a mental breakdown in 2014 and never fully recovered. Held a loaded gun to my head on multiple occasions. I struggle with self-harm, marijuana dependence, alcohol, and excoriation. I have had over ten jobs in the last two years. I am finally in a decent employment position, but I feel it may be beyond my capabilities because of my conditions. I have no real support, no friends, no family that would even begin to understand. All I have is an alcoholic boyfriend of 5 years that is dealing with his own shit. I’ve been in a constant state of dissociation since I was about 12. As a result, I barely feel like any time has passed and don’t remember most of the last 10 years or so. I have no idea who I am compared to who I pretended to be in high school and my early 20s to get by. I keep trying to find a reason to want to stay confined to this body with a broken mind, but keep falling short. Up until late last year, I was ready to die by any means necessary. I would wish for cancer. I had no care for my life so I would get into cars with friends who liked going 90 down the road in races with other drivers. I would stay out all night and drink and do drugs, not as an escapism technique, but in hopes I would black out forever each time. I’ve been in the hospital for a kidney infection due to dehydration. I often go days without eating or by just drinking juice. I honestly don’t think I will make it to 30 at this rate. Does anyone else feel similar? ",4.073795749704839,5.663156677685954,5.459459858323497,79.01178719008266,71.75482093663913,8.711885084612357,26.738390397481304,9.23628265651192,2.253592758756395,1466,50,281,32,28,492,213,363,0.131,0.763,0.106,-0.7413,2,0,5,1,0,0,49.0,0,1,0,0,10,14,3,2,18,0,34,17,4,4,3,63,56,21,1,9,9,0,3,2,2,9,10,0,0,1,10,17,5,4,11,3,0,6,10,6,0,2,9,4,34,8,56,36,7,53,0,1,1,0,10,24,1,10,22,189,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559823450545937,0.0,0.0,0.18780473578731105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026665962049751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792563199057484,0.0,0.06721748976664467,0.0,0.0,0.1228763395895069,0.09002942233036951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999606170531889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053562489514436144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759966689465853,0.1106645466712335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958556318225004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495227043505314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666650357953095,0.0905863116143501,0.07567912756096692,0.0,0.0911913617078356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689240356761383,0.0,0.0,0.17215107347659792,0.10189702861845044,0.08990917514801096,0.0734010306504423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058034871759547677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828325410081504,0.0,0.1332835454508719,0.06277171233165049,0.0,0.09625325219758564,0.08030821923199193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577059258495147,0.0,0.09181304511155483,0.0,0.14980935350635746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017618767310366,0.18679556609513745,0.0,0.0,0.058894938182016535,0.0928355850155632,0.0,0.08727107571440543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919037346608957,0.0,0.09170960350915107,0.08719375872469068,0.15619923432612584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148683199953619,0.09911702946377493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412515229348775,0.08585408551610725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865144693812713,0.0,0.0,0.09571217492023333,0.09759966689465853,0.0,0.2656457346297106,0.0,0.08871992934514958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776791820102833,0.0,0.0,0.08245658353196927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309218771196224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271101911409652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001110180150596,0.0,0.0903412049829732,0.0,0.0,0.09953540533264073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892540080245714,0.0,0.0,0.09166372851120448,0.0,0.09019350872505506,0.07268392298821905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873075996375684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185694929324498,0.0,0.0,0.09970965194930123,0.0,0.0,0.0660645330866397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05630118617295421,0.0,0.0,0.15370666301781746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059655459560542974,0.0,0.08583262137642085,0.0914719317240016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05182582857909269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010419248513432,0.08469999125150382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120885425556097,0.0,0.0,0.2263321018159537
mentalhealth,SilverSlayer03,2019/02/20,"Passion for Life How do I get a passion for life again? I'm in school, but I feel like it drains me so and makes me unhappy.  Ever since senior year of high school where I fully realized that I'm not really smart and that I was just good at doing whatever work the teachers assigned us and memorizing stuff for tests, it just hasn't been the same. I can't even study well anymore and I just don't seem to have a drive to accomplish things anymore. Even if I try to fight it for awhile, laziness or apathy keep seeming to pop up again. I've already seen a doc about it and have been cleared about depression and I'm not necessarily sad about it, not all the time, but I still feel so...passionless and undriven. I want to have a desire to have things and accomplish things but I don't.",3.4290416666666697,4.6910744875000026,4.43375,87.02291666666667,72.875,8.333333333333334,25.833333333333336,8.841846274778883,1.6882083333333338,618,20,134,12,12,201,91,160,0.12,0.713,0.16699999999999998,0.7225,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,1,0,0,3,16,9,1,0,7,0,13,4,0,2,3,34,25,15,0,3,11,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,8,0,1,6,0,0,1,7,3,1,0,4,3,13,6,17,21,2,13,0,2,1,2,2,5,0,4,8,92,24,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834444105363327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385280776569283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470023884456059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254588560079577,0.15438558297692873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259712290765658,0.12193047061938432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917080149338258,0.0,0.0,0.14315434658448056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032782842321826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15170405142961982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241106028060614,0.08338333193993162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139270901180728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933896954081304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454650372630956,0.0,0.31075277160695564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118437441363346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630151750604588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953823883124808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340167262462031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952214175751596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587732736685408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053013749035432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066871579831184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534575947443944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425365337171645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990929937074106
mentalhealth,lamptentacles,2019/02/20,Really thinking about killing myself right now I’m in the middle of a really bad mental breakdown and I could seriously use some advice 🙃,2.2903846153846166,5.202043807692308,4.645000000000003,73.33750000000002,91.69230769230772,7.215384615384615,21.884615384615387,8.07648339933343,2.3018,113,4,17,3,4,39,24,26,0.348,0.652,0.0,-0.8795,0,0,0,0,0,1,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34427353438543096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29416437313468163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812910959426061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897791327915591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550459044289101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513979817784219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008710595961021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257462058601557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042829701373351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,utimola,2019/02/20,"How do i change my negative coping habits? I've struggling with my mental health since my teenage days. Due to lack of support and guidance, I developed several coping habits involving drugs, alcohol and sex. After struggling to change for over 10 years, my self esteem and confidence is at its lowest. My emotional state is also a mess and I am finding it hard to build healthy relationships and commit to things like school and the gym. I really need help on how I can develop better coping habits and become a better person",6.229642857142856,8.011132083333337,6.352321428571429,73.94625000000002,66.70833333333334,9.652380952380954,30.380952380952376,9.957137785484203,3.2790702380952386,424,16,68,10,7,135,68,96,0.159,0.632,0.209,0.6887,1,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,3,7,0,2,3,0,5,4,0,2,1,14,7,10,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,8,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,10,4,11,7,1,8,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,5,44,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902099628848561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233313832505254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19656851288173088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148234366387331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765653511865066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478447013054922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20640406058282268,0.0,0.0,0.2002071969887203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267346332273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594380298425707,0.0,0.0,0.18918786869277854,0.0,0.0,0.11929841874055815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695362420480225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17936525087298152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197232243549606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540810614951056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140206255518934,0.0,0.0,0.1910873989109062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012854803951273,0.0,0.0,0.1856753433283949,0.20107040819676056,0.0,0.14722958114934798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37213346814792586,0.0,0.0,0.20197327950257069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182441607083135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461537566022532
mentalhealth,beans_sauce,2019/02/20,"Dear Reddit Dear Reddit 
I don’t really know how to start this, but this seamed like the best place to do it. My life is a little stressful atm and sharing has always helped me, so I decided that instead of dumping my life on a friend (someone on the same corse so under similar stresses)  I would just put it out into  the world. 
So introduction over; time for the life overview! Simply put my older sister (a role model to me and an image of strength) had depression and then a psychotic break, it really tore me up, currently exploring drugs it just pushed me towards it( to early(~17)). In a positive view of the situation it drew the family together, as she jumped threw a window (for logically no reason, even in a sympathetic view to health problems) it was clear she was ill. Moving to a more personal note the following summer i had a break myself, mainly fuelled by a lack of an objectives coming out of some intense subjects and an unhealthy amount of drugs ( Hallucinogenic‘s, dissociative{namely ketamine}, and stimulants and; the classic weed)  made it so bad festivals and times of relaxation became peak times for anxiety and neurotic episodes. By this point I knew it was at least partly genetic, my mother was originally the nut of the household trio, me, my mum, and sister. 
Then sister thing. 
And that leads me to get a therapist possibly one of the best things to happened to me, he was based in cbt and spent half of his sessions doing deep meditation allowing the sub-conscious to really step to the front. Those lessons have been a serious pillar in my day to day life. And from then it had been a supported and educated  journey with so much support😭😭😭 can’t describe the time when my mum told me my best friend came to my house and asked my mum if I was genuinely alright, was to much. Bad multiple friends crying about taking to friends about talking to there own parents  
And crying about being worried about me. {post rant: was crying myself a lot at this point} After saying all that it seems a bit attention seeking. Any ways things continue with a general trend of improvement  and then they leads to where I am now, recently I have been dealing with my problems with getting black out drunk and taking ridiculous amounts of ket when I can.
 And it’s just came to a point with a month till exams I’ve been lonely and overshared like a big wave, haven’t had the next yet I’ll have to get my head down like now......

 any ways; first thank you for read this. I’m sure I have lots more to say  so if your interested in tagging along I will continue posting with updates and such. 

And to anyone who relates remember the best thing is you are alive and you have a chance to turn things around no matter how deep in it you are and even if life just feels like suffering it will get better at least bearable, ask for help if not a professional the community you are in right now. Humans are hard wired to help those in need do not be afraid to ask for help. 
Lot of love just another neurotic idiot 😘",6.56746323529412,6.829606881944446,6.7708782679738615,76.69283088235295,65.25,10.248692810457516,32.56617647058823,10.056822442137396,3.1261584558823543,2388,90,447,50,34,769,293,576,0.132,0.6809999999999999,0.188,0.9917,2,2,2,0,0,0,64.0,0,6,1,10,31,39,3,3,41,1,41,12,1,9,3,84,70,44,0,9,12,8,2,4,4,3,9,2,1,2,30,38,1,0,11,3,2,16,7,14,0,3,23,7,44,25,83,42,23,86,0,3,3,1,41,34,0,9,34,323,74,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05851692347632629,0.0,0.0,0.09564827760295302,0.07374301564863127,0.0537992506291058,0.0,0.0,0.04917362291356648,0.0,0.0,0.06260511179232088,0.19723614480878035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743866091759088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952114844057058,0.062197693430442375,0.07677785353393493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086857671666616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06057968172503141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231749655059278,0.09070899371380928,0.07250308958316773,0.06057174055709705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311182699730942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289941120560158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629715940618973,0.0,0.03555897376977777,0.05024095805827607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598193187378209,0.0,0.0,0.217334987185572,0.0,0.1469698747193933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218911094855766,0.0,0.06299834476860465,0.0,0.07217483631484851,0.07475332321726211,0.0,0.0,0.18855232773731492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114684197255594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038649368577486284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24836691316487605,0.13743106088159113,0.07048519689816234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17936612805627872,0.06347202338080808,0.06654422731539876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056133597675523166,0.07474548219204641,0.10339550571628818,0.05214588938984087,0.0,0.0,0.07479257267910999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04765476470412931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808877758162262,0.07615627997584952,0.0,0.0,0.06140601123025592,0.07347577442177095,0.0,0.1994426010400326,0.07928207660517284,0.13470586920083572,0.0,0.0,0.13458510141794144,0.0,0.14139424795168765,0.0,0.0,0.07034510067109342,0.0,0.13515804265160766,0.07230691217252533,0.06943850936973069,0.0,0.07966572742526974,0.060058079044883986,0.0,0.11185222619758013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402221235384965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904944859504544,0.0,0.0,0.059587050418043686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04977715391446549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111654986834395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961038039308909,0.06628148817041138,0.0,0.10575290405999936,0.0565254307100506,0.0,0.06474679613304173,0.0,0.08165398699877449,0.23360757814594066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403078654612388,0.0,0.0,0.06719957310544616,0.0,0.0,0.07649456890926933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164312102149668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141953722287306,0.0,0.0499576219752061,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,raspberryicedream,2019/02/20,"I can't like anything new and I can't enjoy things First of all, I have no clothes to wear. This is because I don’t like any of the clothes in the store. So now I’m stuck wearing clothes that are really old and too small for my body since I have outgrown it. I used to love shopping and fashion. But now every time I see clothes I think that it looks bad. I have been to so many stores and I walk out empty-handed every time.

I don’t like most new songs. Another thing is that I don’t like Snapchat. I have seen what my classmates' Snaps are like. They have pictures of themselves with poor lighting and dumb filters, their weed and bong, and their Doritos and Takis. Why would I want to see these things. I don’t know why people like it. When I was in high school, one of my classmates kept asking me to download Snapchat and add him. I never did it. 

I don’t like any of the TV shows right now.  Also, I haven’t seen a movie in the theater since 5 years ago. None of the movies appeal to me. The thing is, I used to love going to the movie theater. Movies at home don’t appeal to me either, I haven’t enjoyed watching a movie in years.

It's not just these things, I don't want to make this post too long, but I really don't like anything new at all, no matter what the category is.

It may seem like I am just listing things and ranting, but I am unhappy because I can’t enjoy anything, and this concerns me. I just want to enjoy things again, but I don’t know how. I keep listening to old music that I am tired of because I can’t like new music. As I said before I wear clothes that are extremely small (I have grown about 4 inches since the last time I bought new clothes). My clothes are also worn out and falling apart. I keep looking through my old magazines from 2009 and feeling sad that our society isn’t like that anymore. What can I do to enjoy these things that everyone else is enjoying? 

Is there something that I can do? For example, maybe I should buy some clothes, even though I think it’s ugly, and force myself to wear it for a month? I don’t know. I have actually tried to buy an off-the-shoulder top and I still haven't taken the tags off. I also tried to wear a shirt that I bought last year and I would wear it for about 5 minutes before changing back into an old shirt, and repeating that process 3 times and not wearing it in the end. I couldn't stand to wear it, it made me irrationally uncomfortable. 

I actually used to be really into all of the new songs, new movies, etc. and I knew about all of the trends and really liked it. Now I don’t like anything.",2.5167742356937524,3.9597340543071198,3.417675289608919,92.67843088581137,75.49812734082397,6.390662834247888,24.029091542548557,6.9265101639786515,0.6340124205208606,2011,62,451,19,43,641,213,534,0.15,0.8009999999999999,0.049,-0.9932,0,0,1,0,0,0,61.0,1,0,3,2,25,24,1,0,19,0,52,14,11,6,5,69,89,33,0,7,10,0,1,13,0,4,1,4,1,0,41,26,0,3,8,5,8,4,26,3,0,2,14,13,66,21,50,69,9,60,0,1,7,2,10,19,1,4,48,290,107,1,0.0,0.0,0.12342833570914122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605939841055727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517215976571075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601220105467439,0.06631378261381518,0.0,0.0,0.06271815432651076,0.0,0.0,0.20816806929375006,0.0,0.05912186944255692,0.0,0.0,0.04862848405233811,0.0528036571466902,0.11565351942888873,0.0,0.10762699604797614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024657911274634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690067328037261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528298043487032,0.0,0.0560128226746647,0.0,0.07053051712170512,0.04177013446936538,0.0,0.10656666873175624,0.060429558561705614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031976588369737574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379282721210498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03594136106452109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681766930938936,0.06343595591236098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242314877245868,0.0,0.0,0.10426692494733422,0.10309983575161256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016531409850907,0.0,0.0,0.055966362463659394,0.106213152875494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415508095272815,0.05984023552038665,0.04221390951941534,0.06411652531028486,0.06353416134305327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047842376453037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048775416747607686,0.427550379137822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654434852200752,0.0,0.04285379000717336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043843399527017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060567469667583626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205541148671165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400753363494548,0.060156745642231266,0.0,0.0,0.06400334551699538,0.10078989995650732,0.057572300714115135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569410155444739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048686070231514035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050504405241949296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361164881658273,0.08104465628778368,0.06213403639310922,0.0,0.14750552069665285,0.07268631409308607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858730791376557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385995482211682,0.0,0.0,0.1119036760021189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413046971943246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984929228693571,0.0,0.0,0.1221755391321834
mentalhealth,carlitosway5612,2019/02/20,"Im 29 years old, puerto rican, drug addict, severe ptsd and low self esteem, recently unemployed and girlfriend dumped me for a more handsome successful fellas. I need help getting thru this next couple nights. I'm prescribed chlonidine trazadome and suboxen, so I am well in that sense now I just need the mental strength to get thru all these thoughts of her sexually with other men. I know it's my mental illness which is the problem cause I don't think I love her I'm just possessive over her.  I am currently smoking CBD mixed with thc after a opiate and coc relapse during this weekend fling I had with my ex where I found out she slept with three other men. I do those hard drugs cause it makes me last longer in bed, she doesn't do the drugs but doesn't stop me when I do em cause she prefers the sex. That's all my drama, I realize now there's probably nothing you guys can do for me but talk to me so that would be great ",5.683315508021392,5.695184283422464,5.679572192513372,84.62171122994657,67.12834224598929,8.725133689839572,29.834224598930483,8.296473431620573,1.9053144385026728,739,24,152,9,11,232,122,187,0.076,0.823,0.102,0.8259,3,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,10,9,1,0,6,0,14,8,1,4,2,30,27,9,0,5,4,1,1,0,1,1,5,0,1,4,12,9,0,1,6,2,0,0,3,3,1,1,4,1,27,6,16,21,3,19,0,1,0,2,16,6,0,0,13,95,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788294313069936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41806224603209374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150098631564629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719469091131022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873766937317442,0.0,0.0,0.1417472895404077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955907442727634,0.0,0.13431884185036005,0.0,0.0,0.12151938801786975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092605353419517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652965764385453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074551920912592,0.1105761602483889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243308083445945,0.0,0.09055013501623063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734147623283873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011715256829705,0.0,0.0,0.14426962634702248,0.12730214106522328,0.0,0.13016372428589665,0.0,0.14234611114851747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462580149453361,0.12980261005826915,0.15857233084543354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339420137858597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151676430995344,0.15325046964453665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134128640822377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903359084372324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869216409087577,0.0,0.1076941668850098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196928675146235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963647484954324,0.0,0.0,0.0873567637622049
mentalhealth,Wtchhunt,2019/02/21,"Antidepressant Withdrawal? Has anyone had nasty withdrawals from stopping their antidepressant medicine?

I was on Trintellix for about a month and was having horrible side effects. I called my doctor about it and she told me to stop taking it cold turkey and it should be out of my system in 1-2 days. By the 4th, I called back and said I was still having issues. She said the medicine should already be out of my system and she couldn’t do anything for me. 

I’m on my third week and I’ve spent most of the time on a bland diet and missing so much work. I have extreme nausea, shakes, diarrhea, some vomiting, and am tired. I feel like I’m sick all the time.

I ended up going to Urgent Care and the doctor told me that that medicine has a longer half life and I will experience these side effects for weeks. I was in tears when she told me that since I’m missing work and losing income. Luckily, she took me seriously and gave me medicine to help with the anxiety and stomach issues. 

Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel like I’m losing my mind.",2.9028756674294414,5.059669478260876,3.708222730739896,87.88118993135014,76.43961352657006,6.483498601576406,22.972031528095602,7.475848149327749,0.9347642512077288,830,25,165,11,19,264,113,207,0.15,0.7709999999999999,0.079,-0.9252,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,6,6,9,0,1,9,0,19,8,1,2,1,29,38,15,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,3,6,2,0,0,7,16,1,2,4,0,1,3,1,6,0,2,13,5,28,3,23,19,4,27,0,4,0,0,15,10,0,2,14,109,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537483063731994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158399701447655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724948209892679,0.0,0.09815036657920796,0.0,0.0,0.17942291234752494,0.0,0.1055812780786066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865600453883147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620205404891625,0.0,0.1308120237317448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274391260967487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626442317003782,0.11227758762664697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363712843848743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12550357596287376,0.0,0.0,0.1297462797296267,0.18331736568994544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291675135290766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599785252756048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678270561577479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906232086440646,0.12536335401668225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287073325981174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954803308392773,0.0,0.10240910653654486,0.0,0.09431643257132996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440883892137676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613240260050144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246181697578884,0.2145317514831888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964668297320972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962737994967368,0.14746380589122318,0.0,0.3677930077355495,0.14254778935986526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058315958795305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681017384536752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gothoprah,2019/02/21,"Can’t Take Care of Myself I’m not suicidal anymore. I have a new dog, a college experience to look forward too, and several festivals screening works I’ve created. But ever since my last dog Scooch passed, I’ve found it extremely hard to take care of myself.

I go through daily routine, I wash my clothes, my house is relatively clean, my grades are good, but when it comes to me and my body, I have no idea how to take care of me.

I put off taking showers for days, I put off brushing teeth, taking meds, clipping nails, changing socks, cleaning my personal room,  etc. I don’t fee disgusting at school because I have no friends that I see during the day, only on Tuesdays. No one really comes near enough to make me self-conscious. I wear deodorant everyday but I know that’s not enough.

No one knows about this. My parents think it’s just procrastination, but really... I think I don’t feel like I’m worthy enough to take care of. 

Does anyone have advice or a solution to help me get back into a state of mind where I can care for myself?

( for clarification, I’m on meds for anxiety, not my depression. They don’t seem to be doing much these days though. Already talked to doctor about this. )",3.963080591320935,5.53382903004292,4.904685264663808,82.95389961850263,72.00429184549357,8.267906533142584,27.536719122556033,8.841846274778883,2.0804269909394377,936,34,185,18,18,305,139,233,0.078,0.728,0.195,0.9818,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,1,1,10,11,1,0,5,0,13,5,3,2,1,27,41,10,1,0,9,1,2,1,1,0,2,0,4,1,8,5,0,0,9,0,1,7,11,2,0,2,1,6,30,9,28,39,5,27,0,1,3,0,6,10,0,2,12,113,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120135932265222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299238627414684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713974790995716,0.0,0.09255865037386024,0.06525876611973047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176529510385557,0.0,0.056893328490908224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366900343092617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757826718264348,0.0,0.0987311583771594,0.1607917028302117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057110667228587,0.0,0.08038531261828268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552759045641317,0.08167403745206199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893056690739881,0.10408803551471882,0.0,0.08442266471029708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912950124796476,0.0,0.0,0.047190640331268886,0.0666752363827087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023319355891302,0.07210681386699758,0.0,0.04876126728458369,0.0,0.0530418011890618,0.0782810879778153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360568133063634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255738101079325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769071847624168,0.0,0.10535862974070928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102583863267784,0.07607670979327766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045596505444709966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837400659885732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062298748011303424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733800686185236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423707019001316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860856212720652,0.0,0.0,0.09013905482570132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648615090996582,0.07098195350980603,0.0,0.0,0.10363233316634143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149248088277929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187645603700448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957965228777705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944553191030506,0.07437222293503766,0.08496446539664916,0.0973639325611224,0.10543675489039957,0.0,0.07720384814193701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208827880138684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4210369476740221,0.07501541769676133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960466768455001,0.09169661659503836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794562235255787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gstewa372,2019/02/21,"I just don't know what I should do (triggers) I used to be fine, not really the happiest, but not where I am now... i am a rising 8th grader. It probably sounds like that edgy middle schooler phase, but I mean I don't think that's what this is. I have the worst body image imaginable, and can't control myself during episodes of cutting. I used to find solace in gaming, but that has become disinteresting and expensive. I don't know what I should do, and the stress of planning HS is jabbing me in my sides. I feel like a wind up you, wound so tight I'm about to burst. Also, I feel like I have no control in my life. I'm just living in someone else's movie. An extra in a sideshow. Just needed to vent... X.x",0.6900765306122452,2.8582573401360563,2.60264880952381,92.76683035714287,84.4421768707483,5.3076530612244905,19.391581632653054,6.6274283507984215,0.10502755102040816,547,15,120,6,16,182,89,147,0.115,0.805,0.079,-0.7216,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,3,8,7,1,1,7,0,16,3,1,5,0,28,27,8,0,3,8,0,3,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,8,3,0,3,8,1,1,1,7,3,0,0,0,4,19,4,13,24,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,4,81,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656109019010594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21621795904991195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21746174264930485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.439156320218378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354477986823734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797930998752,0.2797232078149366,0.0,0.0,0.17893468142776173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151854935962031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13828157811996314,0.2869371327370315,0.0,0.17287279408180933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21325622323459115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516458302377427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21107841859174148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541839272731212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658794092643689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242594483816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544462955604238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381732536646583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OccamsWriter,2019/02/21,"26M with ADHD and mild depression. I don't know if this is the right subreddit to post in but looking for advice. Title has all the basic information.

I'm coming out of a two week long mania (anxiety?) and in which I have lost sleep and dealt with my brain focusing on my right forearm which caused me to lose sleep and see it everytime I closed my eyes.

I've had coping mechanisms for the anxiety before but this time felt different and none of them seemed to help which just caused me to zone out and play video games until I'm tired enough to fall asleep.

Again I don't know if this is the correct subreddit to post in, but I'm looking for advice. Has anyone dealt with something similar, and if so how did you cope with it?

I apologize in advance if I'm am breaking any subreddit rules, I just don't know where else to post. If you do please let me know so I can direct to the proper one. 

Thank you all for your understanding and advice if possible!",5.012392055267704,5.330596487046634,5.722914507772021,82.67829231433508,68.58549222797927,9.542141623488773,27.482297063903278,9.516144504307137,2.1364131260794474,754,22,157,15,12,246,107,193,0.079,0.848,0.07400000000000001,-0.2387,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,4,1,3,7,5,0,0,6,0,14,7,6,3,3,41,31,21,0,6,11,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,16,0,0,8,3,0,3,4,3,0,2,4,5,18,2,26,26,4,23,0,3,4,0,9,11,0,7,5,102,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199448218548248,0.3707602298277216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600513588176459,0.0,0.19350110536859266,0.0,0.0,0.0884319974487312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761815540295698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118431446145044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598426781265924,0.0,0.10894422542689927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108929944328601,0.0,0.0,0.13213607440783007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565092965657412,0.0,0.0,0.1306791394253229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143272609889726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477135696675693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780222941430978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932594660244526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192353060318594,0.21240885673140336,0.14148955280357284,0.13805886945906135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857005398634721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388280172426966,0.0,0.14257791028337016,0.36337496738147423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21601238949622376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078162092095164,0.11513514327568045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531261992020958,0.0,0.0,0.09736414216743126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643820754299168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374670218450728,0.14536068705756605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354453558650345,0.13166156576392993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144801978484884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whilemy757bend,2019/02/21,"i get more depressed when people i care about start doing better because i get the feeling they won’t need me anymore this happens mostly when i date damaged girls and help them get on their feet. they end up leaving me for some
more good looking guy after i help them get their self esteem back up. happens with close friends as well. don’t know what to do about it. ",4.774520547945205,5.772619876712335,4.3286575342465765,90.03243835616442,69.41095890410958,5.84,28.298630136986297,3.1291,0.7447501369863012,293,10,58,0,5,88,54,73,0.077,0.6679999999999999,0.255,0.9169,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,6,1,6,7,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,8,16,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,13,5,10,15,4,11,0,2,1,0,12,4,0,2,7,40,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20824466503460892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614623784989075,0.0,0.12800242966419825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857110740464913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408955883338693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085627256103706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18598078372657093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617267050524244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223075033823614,0.0,0.4388254898413629,0.0,0.0,0.1761220467091933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791413987886573,0.37137089661271416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814915904978258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154000309958542,0.0,0.0,0.22233949245923024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17633110126040186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569820344747798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557434201508224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21905591147609546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862558732617534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887980792361266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gjrksgbdo,2019/02/21,"I think I'm having a psychotic break. For some contrext I recently had a suicide plan that I almost acted on, and I have a history fos elf harm.  Recently I have been having an increase in racing & disorganized thoughts, hearing voices, physical sensations (pricking, chills), and sometimes faintly see things. I feel liek everyone is watching me, I feel like I'm horrible, that everything I do is wrong. I somehow convince myself the strangest things (that some completely random stuff that happens to me could turn into a life od death situation because I dont make the right choice). I have told my parents about what I am experiencing, and they said that it is just ""normal teen stuff"". Everyone else I know is not experiencing anything like this, I feel alone and just need some help. What can I do?",7.3276864535768675,8.150011890410964,7.38598173515982,71.00232115677325,63.65753424657535,10.59847792998478,37.45509893455099,10.504223727775694,4.182766514459665,640,31,107,15,9,206,97,146,0.155,0.763,0.08199999999999999,-0.9136,1,1,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,1,1,4,6,1,0,7,0,17,3,1,1,0,24,33,4,3,3,3,1,3,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,13,5,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,5,10,20,3,6,27,4,9,0,0,2,0,6,4,1,6,4,74,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135634832391393,0.15654732240750496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377253825969476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438476846379495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921405239845606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584794247109939,0.0,0.0,0.12068213745095152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17714837945357995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626764525789505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28886338526627303,0.13584518138357454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292801516078414,0.10798262959916244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133662732403908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703586750524307,0.0,0.10131363409960116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306888667416094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106762742692373,0.147689931841897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008947698720231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207688859298186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480963333328775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783580312435373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984876533800273,0.0,0.0,0.12908251662753933,0.14377964696757642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044813992955275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16990056833222975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949265385248656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460645064383475,0.16533515881295086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008366206172309,0.09685174908701982,0.0,0.11999737142826655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444316926331365,0.0,0.0,0.16440937872434885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652603878064315,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BritishFloridian,2019/02/21,"I (16m) am suffering from depression and pull a noose around my neck until I collapse. It doesn't bruise and i wake up in seconds, is this self harm? I haven't been to a doc, I dont want meds or my parents to know. Im not one of those i HaVe DePrEsSiOn Bc Im SaD aLoT, my dad is bipolar and I have been suffering from long term depression since the 7th grade to now (11th grade). I pull a noose around my neck, put the knot behind the right side of my neck, and pull until I collapse. I thought nothing of it, it just made me feel better, until I just came to and was laying on my desk, realizing I had just fell on it knocking over my monitor and computer. I tried to do something similar in 8th - 9th grade summer, except the noose was attached to the ceiling in my garage (rope snapped). Is this self harm?

ALSO -  parents never saw the garage, I cleaned up the rope. big wake-up call for me and I would never go through with it now, too selfish and a burden on my family, permanent solution to a temp problem etc. I've heard all the reasons not to, I dont need that. All I wanna know, is is this detrimental to my health, and is it self harm? 

Thank you. ",3.036198529411763,3.834379654166668,4.37088235294118,88.87058823529414,73.29166666666666,7.813725490196079,26.617647058823533,8.124751697461798,1.4298455882352945,887,30,200,13,17,294,123,240,0.194,0.775,0.031,-0.9906,2,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,0,1,9,14,0,0,14,0,20,6,4,2,4,37,32,14,0,5,7,3,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,3,11,13,0,0,6,0,0,7,8,12,0,2,10,3,30,2,34,21,5,31,0,6,1,0,9,14,0,2,10,135,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450397238755976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23266408298938945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557498175272066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133437899539895,0.1494619960417606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376609689286623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063096978030985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574166092868782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319255853428987,0.0,0.06607524359699248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426790375777607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890569714538126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28231155220317466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436355537233105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156468285567207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365165705585245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515494189251468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689684427687277,0.20157544675360586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253900528895377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855149214286175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29020719407163736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250421822954087,0.0,0.131368518072389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435980651406212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159917686462917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4089801822804167,0.0,0.0,0.10809904330167704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006031010291288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031169274777072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374455214531092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887224827870369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707787716170307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283063293417528,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hedgehogbread,2019/02/21,"Got a Job, Want to Quit (31m Avoidant Personality Disorder) Through most of my 20s, I started a software development company which grew to be very successful over the span of 6 years. During this time, I was working remotely (with international partners/employees) from home, and putting in long hours. Due to my long hours, I lost contact with pretty much all my friends, and my mental health degraded. The only social activity I really did was online gaming with my colleagues. 

Eventually it got to a point where my mental health was not in a good place, and I sold my share in the company. From this, I had enough money to more-or-less retire on.

I spent the next 2 years unemployed, living with my girlfriend, and fighting to get out of the hole I'd fallen into. During this time I saw a therapist for the first time in my life, and was eventually diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder, as well as displaying lots of traits of Dependant Personality Disorder.

My partner of 7 years and I broke up about 6 months ago, but things are okay. I'm a pretty happy person and I enjoy my simple life. I spend my time going on walks, reading, occasionally seeing the 2 friends I still have (they don't know each other), playing some videogames, cooking, and just doing whatever I feel like....

...however, I want more from my life. I want a great group of friends with whom I can go camping, play sports, have dinners, play board games, etc. I want to fight against my anxiety/depression. I want something a little bit more normal. My therapist stresses that getting a job is the best route forward for me, but that feels terrifying and impossible.

2 months ago, I was chatting with someone I knew from when I worked, and he suggested I apply to his company. A month of thorough interviews later, I got an offer. I started working last week, and I already want to quit. It's very similar to the work I used to do. I work remotely and sit on my computer at home all day. I've quickly made friends with the international people I work with (which is nice), and we have started playing videogames when we're done with work. 

It was such a big effort to get the job, and I feel proud of myself for having a job again... I think about going out and meeting people and actually being able to say I have a job and talk about it, instead of being ashamed and telling people that I don't work and don't do anything productive with my life.

However, I'm terrified it's going to consume my life like my prior job did. I want to quit. So much. I'd rather die than do this.

I have no idea what to do.

",5.5915871212121235,6.364175832323233,6.366852904040402,76.9669460227273,67.44444444444444,9.581439393939394,32.640467171717184,9.673873057562805,3.0502436868686877,2027,85,383,42,32,668,242,495,0.08800000000000001,0.759,0.153,0.9834,12,2,1,0,3,0,81.0,1,0,1,17,15,30,2,4,25,1,31,10,0,3,2,65,66,26,1,9,5,0,3,2,6,0,8,1,2,5,18,35,2,2,7,10,4,9,5,9,1,1,19,6,58,21,65,44,14,61,0,2,2,0,31,20,0,4,35,246,76,19,0.06187616233811696,0.0,0.06038220869827799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969896903747968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828188378835945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050918809413557885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493521491800403,0.0,0.06755274348768171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039905005820893034,0.0,0.05329384795379129,0.06280300229020383,0.06421768752079522,0.0,0.21274632821635828,0.0,0.0,0.06332079701660019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393461623606886,0.06900827723183596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385934054642324,0.044204342737792585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052631832075350105,0.0,0.0,0.19122147812788814,0.0,0.09698322293173776,0.0,0.14066259597389008,0.05189878927457452,0.14846405855038422,0.0682186874198163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586832539148894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154293421124413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413367179806375,0.0,0.12187111179860473,0.0,0.0,0.06985065568736865,0.0,0.0,0.36841526083262816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03400552061958624,0.05043733080694041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218524816774652,0.060459134865438385,0.06201617011389601,0.05463778496840255,0.10951691307991518,0.0,0.0,0.06754514053021211,0.0526049005073624,0.0,0.058548720907341714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471323641624447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816688733578626,0.0,0.09097219776200713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580600061634424,0.0,0.06062550153814435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04705960970479959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869142008950818,0.21611151311521096,0.06464741997350648,0.0,0.05849297355266865,0.0,0.0,0.12590060395953656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062202633460522176,0.0,0.19743874540187373,0.06189290690640616,0.0,0.039639454023486564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049206407818575264,0.0,0.0,0.049307290249735215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630749552548458,0.052427471553350216,0.047635292763662816,0.0,0.0,0.13138879853333685,0.0,0.04941438317191752,0.0,0.07087893490058286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049733715460006524,0.054082493185767536,0.0,0.0,0.1436859871586987,0.041107772819661714,0.039647746376334975,0.0,0.0,0.14432195141708964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344113749631038,0.0,0.1021086282497878,0.2554731459217538,0.0,0.04963332511506097,0.0,0.055634100970328414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603726649894868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953865956823012
mentalhealth,62smith52,2019/02/21,"My roommate has severe schizophrenia and he refuses help. What can I do? My roommate and best friend for a decade is currently experiencing a psychotic break with his diagnosed schizophrenia which he takes no medications for. He needs some type of help, he is not suicidal and I don’t think he would harm others but he is making delusional threats. I have been talking with him about going to a doctor but he thinks they’ll give him AIDs if he goes in and refuses. He’s 25 and self medicated with massive amounts of weed, which I am also trying to get him off of since it doesn’t help his paranoia. We are in California if any state laws apply. He has no family of support group besides me.",4.163725222146276,6.155719849624063,5.006657552973344,80.70257689678742,72.30827067669173,8.445386192754615,28.632262474367728,9.095868883498916,2.480885714285714,552,22,104,12,11,179,89,133,0.104,0.7709999999999999,0.126,0.4845,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,1,1,2,5,1,0,3,0,15,4,0,1,0,23,24,10,1,4,5,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,5,9,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,1,14,3,15,21,3,7,0,0,0,0,27,3,0,3,1,66,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15764428946380807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405473442673524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20687511648671536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008216544608806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20177026775578535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18583603009217814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523016656386725,0.0,0.10299196189409764,0.18910445852012728,0.11203316630339699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963949929965304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158538812748855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39717421123402863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616893327904965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20564892978827395,0.2227000823939323,0.0,0.16306745555864535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21562754016999533,0.22370007794772,0.0,0.0,0.14821675647384094,0.1584451239916256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25262508672365724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383790528609946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003505163527846,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,citizen50beowulf,2019/02/21,I'm constantly worrying what others think about me to the point where I feel it's affecting my quality of life. Is it normal to be constantly worried and wondering what others think about me? Recently I've said something very stupid at work that I don't know if I can recover from.  I've been thinking over it for several days non-stop now and was just wondering if it's normal to worry this much over something.  Some of this also comes from having had seriously damaging rumors spread about me and now people don't believe that I'm legitimately having problems with a coworker because of the rumors that's already been going around.  If this workplace becomes so unhealthy to me mentally is it worth quitting over and finding a new job and getting a fresh start?  Should I care so much about what they already think about me?,9.941703296703297,8.124767858974362,9.439890109890113,67.07653846153848,59.51282051282051,12.760439560439561,41.51648351648352,11.491704259439757,4.816363736263736,670,30,114,15,7,216,93,156,0.149,0.804,0.046,-0.9468,1,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,2,13,5,1,0,5,0,13,1,0,1,0,27,29,11,0,7,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,16,8,0,0,9,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,5,2,11,1,21,22,3,17,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,6,8,84,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28643919623111114,0.1037880199515952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155350554415715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911497088954755,0.1433359579989922,0.0,0.14622184573965574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323231852652629,0.0,0.0,0.11179721090431413,0.0,0.28050025977007675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836997835938662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562256480852711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861999851627565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780665403279701,0.0,0.07375909738999352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879034835367206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132575621291883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167010252308394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079149701395448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19081198233409985,0.0,0.0,0.12534595685830385,0.0,0.0,0.2543210434193454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997571265641031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268759588945576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418552342429215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804099613762394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814579832434647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345406876843125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661869880183484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19982774660624325,0.0,0.0,0.0918616079835325,0.0,0.0,0.10850502838716647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326407525490209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070851878324887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814898866743397,0.09448411750692064,0.3954051014250312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EmoforEmotional,2019/02/21,"Do I Need Help? Okay so I have no idea if this is a problem but I thought I might as well share. 

Do you ever have times where you kinda just space out? Like you either get lost in thought or just feel like you disappeared for a moment. It happens to me all the time. When it does happen I have no concept of time, anywhere from five minutes to and hour could pass and I just sorta “wake up” and don’t really know how long I’ve been gone or what’s going on.

This is really annoying when I’m trying to sit through classes at school. It ends in me not learning the lesson and having to figure it out on my own at home. It’s also a huge waste of time. I’ll have something to do one the weekend of after school and I’ll just space out and when I wake up I feel off and don’t want to work anymore.

I also get these super weird daydreams. For example the other day I was laying in bed not wanting to get up. I rolled over and grabbed my phone and started scrolling through a group chat I’m in a reading the messages. I suddenly looked over at the clock and realized that I. Was super late and started freaking out. Then I woke up. None of it happened. All the texts I read weren’t real and it was really two hours before I had to leave.

I don’t really know what’s going on or if it’s a problem but I thought I’d share just Incase anyone knows if its weird of if it happens to anyone else.",1.276352793471439,3.0174418305084783,2.951111111111114,93.36484620213436,79.84745762711864,5.590709353421217,21.773383553044567,6.42735559955562,0.2665605775266795,1080,32,242,9,27,357,150,295,0.108,0.7809999999999999,0.111,0.4703,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,4,0,5,15,15,1,0,13,1,21,2,2,1,3,60,49,30,0,10,17,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,17,16,0,0,13,4,0,5,9,7,1,3,12,4,26,8,42,35,5,53,0,1,1,0,11,25,0,10,24,168,43,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743508162737109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810881480487236,0.15244491643592198,0.11169382006151103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275964119719897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703576505553895,0.0,0.0,0.07030255321533975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539555031978728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091064024377666,0.0,0.09655067082664212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860595619787556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102376531094555,0.07787690024707866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17085997234923014,0.0,0.12390600421469798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855893977322386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306723132907357,0.0,0.10934610693415496,0.0,0.21470615393691195,0.0,0.0,0.12305923373694952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972744575234048,0.0,0.12296824046402748,0.1154260494985044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065137432959724,0.0,0.0,0.0964705862259184,0.0915411031890389,0.0,0.11899749765420707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564258296636692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082967330355045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386812474508825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20861605596196367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21807937585422016,0.12407745956404627,0.2793388717617094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206482605137611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392136864925154,0.0,0.0,0.1543159445918148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596257386763041,0.2542588695558937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401076218606774,0.0,0.10648711409305348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859406673987345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801325080890737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936071533070828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bosswiththecross,2019/02/21,"What are the beliefs you hold that are holding you back? Hi everyone, this is a question I asked myself which ended up making me realize the thought patterns that were holding me back. Our experience of life, our decisions and the way we perceive life is driven by the beliefs that adopt and hold throughout our lives based on our life experiences and how we let them shape our beliefs. Negative self-beliefs can originate from many different sources but the commonality is that the beliefs you have which hold you back are usually illogical and driven by fear.

My question to you all who are viewing this is what are some of the beliefs you hold that are holding you back in life? If you can name more then one, go for it. Really step back and observe your life from a third party perspective. What are the limiting beliefs that have been producing unwanted or negative consequences? You can then ask yourself what negative consequences have you already experienced as a result of this belief?

Identifying these beliefs is the first step in the process of changing those beliefs into empowering beliefs that will ultimate lead you to have a happy life, fulfillment and a healthy mind state.",10.70563981042654,9.743950109004745,9.528099526066352,64.33224407582941,57.38862559241706,13.179336492890995,45.270616113744076,12.161744961471696,5.709365497630332,967,51,153,25,10,302,113,211,0.08800000000000001,0.853,0.059,-0.8205,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,7,12,1,6,6,2,0,1,15,0,23,6,0,6,1,47,30,13,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,20,9,0,8,16,0,0,6,3,1,0,3,5,2,25,1,17,23,3,26,10,0,1,0,27,6,0,5,12,126,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969058869640466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366812883756159,0.0,0.0,0.4866833696980402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391100192272548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322552286605536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211745468464336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095816582940287,0.0,0.2476504234862817,0.0,0.142444228798107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076738250157848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194163279113787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475294821833878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944256681077393,0.5364678056271625,0.0,0.0,0.11177758907414433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449701089149791,0.12833814254935125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781558218126055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857778206804723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836101546468848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109411107209206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320566067967134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049499308424407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394163854130769,0.0,0.0,0.10047792361002256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,diamondmoonbeams,2019/02/21,"Has mental illness become fashionable? My answer is: yes. 

Once, I would have said, ""No; it's just that more people feel comfortable coming forward because in general, there is more awareness. It's just being talked about more.""

But now, I see people say ""I'm so depressed I want to kill myself. My mom didn't buy me the new IPhone for Christmas!"", or ""I can't do the presentation in class, I have anxiety"". 

For the latter, I'm not saying that's not a real serious reason for some people (like me), but some people just use it as an excuse because they know it will work. There's a difference between nervous and anxious, and having an anxiety disorder.

What impact does this have on society?

It means that people who really struggle with mental illness such as anxiety and depression, or even bipolar and schizophrenia and anything else you can think of, have to live with the stigma.

Let me explain that: if so many people fake depression and anxiety or use the words wrong, people can see that they're lying. That means, the next time they come across someone who says they have anxiety or depression, they don't take it so seriously! 

The amount of times people have said to me ""[name] has anxiety and they can still go out with their friends and be normal, why can't you?"" And other stuff like this is bad and it's because people have a warped idea of what it's really like.

I just wish people would realise their actions contribute to society, something that starts small gets bigger and bigger and it can have bad ramifications for everyone else. 

What do you think?",7.168978116844006,7.426742187713311,7.079887572776553,75.0012447299739,63.98293515358361,10.170568159004217,32.25235896406344,9.916854025145753,3.1064681389279256,1243,44,218,24,17,396,152,293,0.223,0.711,0.067,-0.9953,0,0,1,0,0,1,48.0,0,3,7,1,14,18,1,2,12,1,30,3,0,3,0,54,53,24,1,6,13,1,1,3,1,3,3,5,0,0,25,18,0,0,10,0,1,5,7,13,0,0,3,8,23,5,23,44,6,21,0,4,2,0,23,9,0,7,12,153,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648149348076039,0.08979052516224674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540581290657806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272606627276642,0.14535202213128848,0.0877801470654041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693110579763515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273826312004001,0.0,0.0,0.08304037553859793,0.09109172491227144,0.0,0.06955406321604655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279178928239785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249622786923632,0.0,0.0,0.07594717892563338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04018781100093546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140656255614349,0.0,0.041525365624261186,0.0,0.04517069203493669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972399335152892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793357682874096,0.0,0.043680493417884686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127436221243856,0.0,0.11649071067388868,0.0,0.07018288099096143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058091661976664,0.0,0.17315548366473846,0.0,0.0,0.16019562715546934,0.0,0.0,0.09308679111487904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676291895403574,0.08452858607681316,0.0,0.0778741737412957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464431141364974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5510188371120226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046639426340257,0.10183469501503048,0.08171935836124801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120862152945044,0.18961863841593893,0.0,0.0,0.12667159496254138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734370726803228,0.061188096935758676,0.0,0.0,0.056256821882166366,0.0,0.06347335960639786,0.0,0.0,0.08309044536964542,0.09098634278642473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975956658197276,0.06388354570717927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185599826564476,0.0,0.0,0.0926916267427986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372915463207079,0.0,0.0,0.04687975391541098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171893532696746,0.0,0.0913988391896415,0.0,0.0,0.05786286878663574,0.0,0.0,0.11292156421578925,0.08689962717486746,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ceasare4,2019/02/21,"Weird thoughts and worrying too much Hello 

I am a male between 18-20 years old, and I have some problems with my mental health I think. I worry alot and too much about things. It’s very easy for me to get anxiety over things which I shouldnt get so much anxiety for (IMO). For example: i was sitting in my room eating pringles and my dad enters and makes it look like hes sneaking and starts asking questions (trying to be funny) and for some reason i snap at him and say: dont fool around and just take some. In an angry/annoyed tone, and he answers: sorry i was trying to be funny. After he went out of my room i get the big anxiety and overthinks it and i become really sad. The thoughts goes from that i was mean to that some day he might die and the thoughts just explodes. I got so much anxiety that I went to him and offered him the rest but he Said no its fine.

I saw a picture of a doc at a shelter getting excited over seeing his old owners who was there and were gonna adopt another dog. Couldnt stop thinking about that for some time. Whenever I say something to someone thats not my friends or family I always analyze it afterwards and get anxiety over saying things and what the thought about me and stuff. I got a call from my work (i work there now once a week so I could keep in touch with them because they wanted me more in the future). They called me and asked if I wanted to start working in the one month or 2 on halftime. I have sometimes hard to make decisions myself over anything so I asked them if I could think about it. Because i was gonna ask my parents. Instantly when I hang up i get anxiety over what I Said and thoughts like: maybe they think like: who does he think he are? And thoughts in that line. 

Whenever I buy a new clothing and wear it I become self concious and think like: people are looking at me, they think i dont fit in it. Whenever i am out in the city center I always think people look at me in a bad way. When someone laughs or grins I always think its about me. Those kind of thoughts.

I Also get alot of thoughts that I am being watched on a camera, but almost only in places like my home or work. I think people watch me through them to see what I am doing. I’ve never started to look for the cameras as I dont velieve myself that much, or that i shrug it of.

I overthink alot, about different things. Today was my teeth, that they Will fall out so i went to the bathroom probably 3 times per hour for 2 hours and overlooked them. Got bad anxiety and wanted to hurt myself in frustration, i gave myself a punch but not too hard (midswing i got afraid my parents would hear). I have selfharmed when younger, 15/16, only 2-3 marks with a knife which doesnt look like a typical selfharm cut. Mostly i punched myself with objects or banged my head in a Wall.

I always think i have random diseases or disorders (adhd, bipolar, borderline, diabetus, cancer, etc) 

I have hard time trusting people and think people plot against me in some way. The one i trust most is my girlfriend but i get these thoughts about her too sometimes, but not the same as friends but cheating, lying and stuff. Even though she loves me very much which she shows me alot. 

I dont know what I wanted with this. I had anxiety and my girlfriend is asleep ( we dont live together) and now I forgot what the purpose was. Oh and my hangover anxietys are so hard I can feel them for a whole day afterwards in whole of my body. I drink 1-3 Times a month.",3.2825952343213416,4.667730653352353,3.999739261372647,89.50786904950606,73.4222539229672,6.961494161779469,26.24824325038305,7.457515093567415,1.2083282400803084,2712,93,571,31,54,863,296,701,0.119,0.805,0.076,-0.9694,3,0,2,0,0,2,76.0,1,0,10,4,30,27,3,1,33,0,42,11,5,3,1,120,112,58,1,12,20,3,6,6,4,6,3,6,3,2,39,40,2,3,28,2,1,6,13,11,0,2,30,22,106,16,76,70,24,76,0,2,10,1,54,37,0,25,36,389,145,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054765593765625405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563119697846808,0.0,0.0,0.036441852972879885,0.1516696494615237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04778351573023322,0.31374437083825923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749975428018308,0.04056644982319622,0.17040504505443002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760971334293051,0.05555739744250225,0.10065570013884588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061735865041274,0.0,0.0,0.09306295645889977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276695621675297,0.0,0.0,0.058777018947120875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047293869008457126,0.04761035051241391,0.05222650937841431,0.0,0.03987811119350442,0.0,0.26703513551884306,0.0446406883623053,0.0,0.04662889853242639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082195497688842,0.030098175655192776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04295879862643296,0.0,0.023041270655042214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070413649940722,0.0,0.19046515141139014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578412913154848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328501739460113,0.0,0.046767377168438096,0.04843816820373754,0.051360054232228614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04570984911014852,0.0,0.08975340937731217,0.0,0.04878301230538358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040504199022210384,0.0,0.047453544069432085,0.02504376441811781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357751649487978,0.0,0.04023863743724977,0.0,0.1913342016221567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04112818550976721,0.0,0.060835890520755664,0.0,0.04578061269137276,0.04963846331952628,0.0,0.0,0.04592326268974293,0.0483419589989019,0.0,0.0,0.07274616108197439,0.0,0.20099262541840635,0.0,0.03514595008070683,0.04401123494508912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563489256348773,0.048529950751639205,0.0617580438996487,0.06931520280132157,0.0,0.0,0.10119890810284224,0.0,0.0,0.15796050899150987,0.0,0.04761035051241391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049131547862422506,0.04360378575580127,0.0,0.0,0.05104818542287786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029192940738429086,0.04685295881664401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669391756507494,0.10871590813643804,0.0,0.0,0.07262586418976287,0.0,0.047538848941907914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722165240801725,0.03508156993997402,0.0901386537177572,0.05101124083349546,0.0967628213800441,0.0,0.0,0.03809808003994496,0.0,0.0,0.10433217922746077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0342625366634475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210972053350837,0.35038857286707176,0.044771729018433175,0.3255933020226576,0.10628759347889126,0.0,0.043194486920098966,0.0,0.0,0.061877297087300935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751990966276219,0.1075121108916946,0.07234177749011046,0.03655304429462256,0.0,0.0,0.12672994146523867,0.0,0.10175327200661756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327003374788474,0.0925559268309764,0.0,0.03237121230397652,0.0,0.0,0.02934521586043152
mentalhealth,Ozzy-1736,2019/02/21,"Haven’t been the same since my first panic attack. Before 2019, I was pretty happy( I can’t really sum it up but I was in a good place) 

Then New Years came, a friend invited me over and I stayed the night. My friends smoke weed and all that, it’s unavoidable, but I never smoked as much as they did, any-who, I decided I would try and actually get high (since I’ve been faking being high, I have adhd the silliness is already there)  and I did way too much, as a result, I had my first panic attack, in my life and I got to say the panic attack was obviously mortifying, but what was worse was what cane after it, I felt like I wasn’t the same anymore, like I was looking through a camera lens, this started effecting my relatively good grades, I made a promise last year I would try and I did, only for this feeling to ruin it, it had obviously worn down since then but I feel like a part of me is lost, 

I’m not any less social, in fact I’ve been more social since then so I could keep my mind off of it, but whenever I’m alone I overthink stuff and scare myself over stupid things, I am doing very well currently, this week has been a good week, but I feel like I need to understand what’s going on with me, because I felt like I was going insane during that time.
 ",3.059531719031422,3.9937796920152095,4.569637782669601,86.95484490694417,73.37262357414448,7.5140284170502305,22.587352411446872,7.85451343220497,0.8569285171102665,981,23,215,13,19,329,141,263,0.195,0.648,0.157,-0.9213,1,2,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,4,4,25,4,4,12,0,29,1,0,3,5,39,49,20,0,4,7,0,5,5,2,2,1,1,0,0,16,9,0,1,8,0,0,3,5,11,1,2,24,7,36,14,21,21,8,34,0,2,1,0,6,12,0,0,22,146,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0911565280902982,0.0,0.11226293697724772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674654465976136,0.1030823415008596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352328722980684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926394926057942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188085247353858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056943020050138834,0.0,0.07948663677715899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683831492965123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458179176096982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169557221415285,0.13346694323904967,0.17938012329131725,0.0,0.0,0.1589122088260854,0.0,0.0,0.1443395862640107,0.0,0.04880385616918057,0.0,0.10617625752330134,0.23504837986301444,0.07471002035976497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943869201295713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19738957717724492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302877828010298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761431564300106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597957917797705,0.22818165087399475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844245973201636,0.0,0.1019701106144038,0.0,0.0,0.08838858725274372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943193783811364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733697192439834,0.0692637315083723,0.07204500686692825,0.09021778374349664,0.0,0.08766072921351782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104395030346701,0.0,0.32879617238362835,0.0,0.10115597203624124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759554149843992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503347251481298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598420475513193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428488280297944,0.09352159595870137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30908511695860624,0.0,0.0,0.19044331283783025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611741528094747,0.09956464401109266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693426343040023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06205870783047319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446922322822291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684108078810255,0.0,0.0,0.09724506999961068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707459067805719,0.0,0.0741460089152893,0.1498587644474485,0.0,0.08398850583988092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519469451214388,0.13271425056800604,0.0,0.0,0.12030838678831705
mentalhealth,Dagothwave,2019/02/21,"What do i do? Sorry for formatting, as im just on mobile.

For the past 4 years, ive been battling a combination of depression, severe adhd, and anxiety but i havent told anyone. Recently, my anxiety has been getting a lot worse, where combined with my adhd, i can barely get any work done unless i am either forced to or have a rapidly increasing deadline. I dont trust my parents enough to tell them, but at this point my mental state is really hindering my abilities to do anything. My anxiety/depression has kept me up all throughout the night, and i just dont know what i should do. I dont love my parents, and i highly suspect they dont love me as a person either. I just dont want to come out with my mental disorders to a family that doesnt love, nor will understand me, but i cant live like this forever",5.948666666666668,5.320768230303031,7.436363636363641,74.40121212121215,66.6969696969697,11.212121212121213,32.878787878787875,10.746095033038511,3.4759696969696967,638,24,125,16,9,222,97,165,0.257,0.726,0.017,-0.989,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,4,7,1,0,7,0,24,3,0,0,1,25,35,11,0,2,10,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,9,2,0,0,5,0,25,5,17,28,6,14,0,1,0,3,10,7,0,2,5,94,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587215168754736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319798355330251,0.0,0.16468656880895913,0.0,0.0,0.07526345756533333,0.0,0.0885774502084932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272117925595028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541804955435648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336323591524374,0.0,0.0,0.11015172604186192,0.6307585709391768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112195149783217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147215413516499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124735200899106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372615975888666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626822951048855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915539550485379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05258681487126456,0.0,0.0950469135724214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151054412071427,0.2914442940295947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21694891566059607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101159582671512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23903999947995455,0.0,0.10275328568500347,0.0,0.09398593080294863,0.0,0.0,0.1017533306862563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895608529531598,0.0,0.10628019644871192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160105376434313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049267339840125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408093791835513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285335753520217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205564675392346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348807366953621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836223037529637,0.0,0.109692995862342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931577143982734
mentalhealth,VWVanGogh,2019/02/21,"Urgent Help on Isolation, Silence, Darkness, and pain for almost 3 months I recieved a blow on the head on early December. Left part of my brain swollen. I become hypersensitive to light, sound, and it was impossible to go outdoors/anywhere without being in constant pain. My only company was tinitus. I went from talking to 30 people daily (I am extremely social) to talking only to my boyfriend and hearing my tinnitus 24/7 brought by the concussion. Couldn't handle screens until a week ago.Pain killers (I'm allergic to almost all) dont work on me so I have felt every ounce of pain. I started showing progress but then I needed to get wisdom teeth removed and have jaw problems. I cant have people over because of my sensitivity and I can't travel because of jaw issues. I just feel like I'm losing my mind. Anyone got any advice on how to handle all of this. I developed a habit of pacing in circles... I just I'm really scared of this. ",3.1164999999999985,5.641849650000001,4.7644444444444485,78.715,77.5,6.666666666666668,29.44444444444445,7.793537801064563,2.319944444444444,747,35,126,12,18,251,115,180,0.141,0.7859999999999999,0.073,-0.8831,0,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,4,8,0,1,5,0,11,10,5,1,2,20,24,10,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,2,0,5,5,6,0,0,6,6,19,2,28,16,3,21,0,1,1,0,5,9,0,2,8,80,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775191898705165,0.11588795467569828,0.0,0.2618227757890593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890371944754932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091412372188756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938867460430428,0.1443856207726669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594257138935227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412771948476516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321947493014967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014917771219043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610312505561494,0.09339651799126944,0.12552530615949492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830320857179248,0.0,0.0742992422345319,0.0,0.10456005946223512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341709764088838,0.0,0.14734691235586084,0.0,0.08762835916358983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645250887629248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204305947717308,0.0,0.0,0.06387011238568728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146258097010636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200424473828504,0.0,0.10435076813494536,0.0,0.0,0.09693773138083613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19885845653344575,0.5564415021907886,0.0,0.0,0.14157236740315152,0.0,0.1812692266158398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250949457547914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375165767827307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308877120814066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133267023744733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253431922484498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015834929548494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048670663326506,0.0,0.0,0.121191886425387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260230757285356,0.0,0.0951760336334464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CipherMice,2019/02/21,"Do you know what this is? I am living a good life, however i suffered a trauma when i was younger. It was was worst when i was 5-10 years old. Triggered by my mothers paranoia. Included alot of mental and verbal abuse. Some physical too. I am now dating a girl, studying civil engineering, have many friends and although it sounds narcissistic, i am somewhat good looking and successful. Despite this i have extremely disturbing mental occurances. These include for example intrusive thoughts forcing my to see, hear and feel my gentals being cut off and fed to me. I can see it, feel it, fucking hear it. However i do not taste it, good god. These occour almost every SINGLE FUCKING DAY. I have no control over it. It is a malevolent machine in my mind, generating the most disturbing things someone could possibly imagine AND FORCING ME TO LIVE THORUGH THEM. These thoughts include me, my friends, family and everyone i care about and those i don't care about. It is at it's worst when i am about to go to sleep. It shows my friends and family getting killed by me, or some other way. Often preceded by absolutly brutal torture. Often repeating the scene in my mind uncontrollably. I am not suicidal, WHICH IS VERY STRANGE! However i was when i was 6 years old, i tried to jump out a window from the second floor. It probably wouldn't have killed me but i definetily would have broken my legs. These thoughts have gone further than you could probably imagine. It is a part of me. I never cry unless i force myself to. I often beg for god to let me feel sorrow. I can't get rid of it. Do you what this is and what i can do about it?",2.9857196029776683,5.457282551282052,4.295417700578991,82.19259305210919,77.65384615384616,7.615550041356494,28.974772539288665,8.558390810932622,2.5340050454921426,1284,59,235,28,31,422,160,312,0.142,0.769,0.08900000000000001,-0.951,3,0,0,0,1,0,43.0,0,3,1,2,13,24,7,3,10,0,37,7,2,2,1,43,58,18,3,4,5,1,3,0,3,2,1,3,1,1,29,11,2,1,9,1,0,3,7,15,0,1,11,10,43,9,29,41,9,26,0,2,3,2,11,8,2,10,14,183,72,1,0.0,0.12600045750824276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064883295921046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168499471777717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927403457074202,0.1698143404101423,0.0,0.11681408238585354,0.06858319505661709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959955378339686,0.10161641621894847,0.0,0.0,0.20050364706282225,0.0,0.16131243006135548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24648373675828156,0.19662695183223405,0.11112088418849064,0.0,0.06043784519257294,0.2675893448553383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397152275243049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353081462420023,0.0,0.05844397728251489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874412368358896,0.07511403557155058,0.0,0.0,0.18780770917655226,0.0,0.08930232329516434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781630178201254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143398313902534,0.0,0.21475460228979398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201918345004175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22318064469384186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516037805135278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988707848444465,0.0,0.0,0.2293140135952469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169485077641076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642097520540797,0.0,0.09010507413548836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116323266779387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065034432742423,0.0,0.0,0.25327618789057105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220071401600878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774508140219685,0.0,0.0844110559742783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554385055356856,0.0,0.0,0.1369643237704958
mentalhealth,dinkinxflicka,2019/02/21,"What would you do in my situation? Advice or support, please! When you have a friend that crosses so many boundaries that it starts to negatively affect your other friendships, what do you do? 

A person I’ve been friends with for about twenty years recently moved from one state to the state i live in. I welcomed them into my life here and introduced them to all of my friends. While this was happening, i was also losing my grip on my bipolar disorder.   

They’ve been here for about a year and a half, but nearly all of their friends are the same ones that I introduced them to. Now this person appears to be sharing confidential information about myself that i have never disclosed to those other people. I feel like he did this in an attempt to gain favor after i tried to put a little distance between us, something i did because his actions were causing me to have paranoid delusions.   

It’s really hard to heal because I’m constantly triggered. Feeling paranoid counteracts all the progress i try to make on a weekly basis. Because of this, it makes my moods really low when I am at my low. It feels really isolating and like i can’t exist without being “a person with problems” to the friends I’ve already had here for years.  

I am currently in weekly therapy and also take 20mg of Prozac per day.   

Thank you for any support.",6.238214285714289,7.030012384920639,6.5199603174603205,76.37017857142857,66.02380952380952,8.998412698412697,34.003968253968246,9.017664075816787,3.0436777777777784,1059,46,184,17,16,341,147,252,0.075,0.732,0.193,0.9853,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,1,5,4,4,12,18,0,0,12,0,21,4,0,5,4,27,34,12,0,2,3,0,5,2,5,1,4,0,0,3,17,7,0,0,4,0,0,5,4,4,0,3,8,5,32,13,38,23,4,35,0,3,0,0,23,12,0,2,18,145,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098931322974476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241007372534138,0.17986602341493407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647562776708614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20566095026855472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155258446293867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121527673220931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252642088528381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128887169454981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170587170618103,0.08034036583650689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4344257418247303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944666896795397,0.0,0.10074071557181123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943275541125208,0.10988307284784632,0.11271294823415025,0.0993029046692497,0.0,0.0,0.12581228158296245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013382712753245,0.1140152551201764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952557467096148,0.0,0.0,0.08673491829382335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524095629602242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077964555287696,0.2945832402963152,0.0,0.12344564846558385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760758454803852,0.0,0.11305184103416101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21613135999080815,0.0,0.11103918916981932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640805161266094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657603779028361,0.0,0.0,0.07959869617035507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552331175136195,0.0,0.0,0.08455478685934216,0.0,0.0,0.10353666588198003,0.1286060811445211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270386188978916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352737136394381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041483032919806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840596871950628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988728282518931,0.0,0.0,0.21725873628037207
mentalhealth,poooier,2019/02/21,"I'm slowly becoming an asshole All my life long I was pretty kind and altruistic person, recently I have noticed that I became very angry on everyone around me, I really hate everyone, because they are happier than me, especially children's(I am typical alone 21yo male with no friends-obl virgin) 


So I went to therapist to find out what is wrong with me, I been visiting him for 2 months once a week. Nothing have changed. He said I'm really kind person inside, but I'm just attention seeking by behaving bad. Which is true, but doesn't help me solve the issue.

I got physical recently, going of the turn, pushing people away with my hands, and insult them. I going around my town and trying picking every fight I can(but trying to make it so it's self defence) so.. These moments I doing shit like that are only one moments in my meaningless life which make me happy. I truly feel euphoria when I doing this kind of stuff(it's like I'm surprised by mine behavior and body awards me with dose of adrenaline)

I feel like I'm cursed, someone just intentionally made my life as shitty as possible. I'm sure I rather be starving child in Africa, because even he have some bright moments in his life, he have someone who care of him.

I know I will end up in jail if I don't stop act like I doing currently, but other than that I don't feel anything in this shitty life. ",4.146089847259661,5.906462430188688,5.272560646900272,79.73685534591195,71.86792452830188,8.519317160826594,28.845462713387235,9.107695989026183,2.5633198562443846,1084,43,199,23,21,358,160,265,0.159,0.634,0.207,0.9438,1,1,0,0,1,0,32.0,0,0,2,1,11,21,5,0,4,0,19,10,3,5,3,35,40,14,0,2,7,0,4,4,0,1,6,1,0,5,13,11,0,2,6,0,0,6,4,7,0,1,6,6,36,14,29,32,2,30,0,0,1,1,19,12,1,2,16,121,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905516058247122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664984293709234,0.1874719753858733,0.0,0.0,0.09892929416762744,0.0,0.08791797154650655,0.12837523484601704,0.1162914367730022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169603977716337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735654575236292,0.0,0.11138947201263323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932612250032262,0.0,0.0,0.06954718086229382,0.0,0.08871663304813161,0.20123016083665335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972284525492325,0.0752236629151673,0.0,0.0,0.0962388660182958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968457224979727,0.0,0.08421503110118374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208981740610194,0.0,0.10395824853562674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057785764719061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990192945521378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289495266851071,0.057868065939040474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718692811057501,0.20576971852008066,0.0,0.0,0.09318386885537716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963385886705337,0.1405721306645289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404646314390098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010345929071175,0.11988047991985762,0.0,0.11213707105799824,0.07135146491925877,0.08008254388831018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299916256576959,0.18388125020991086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870570220504735,0.0,0.10712414218265437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349109496001943,0.0,0.20793469010290366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001608475150027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984695428799936,0.0,0.10808508873588267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17843434392938015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803238087910709,0.0,0.0,0.1205390157465841,0.0,0.0,0.09924047065072547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225706338144678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429784855102323,0.11453208475438373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688043477711631,0.0,0.0,0.08446230136167604,0.0,0.0,0.09761067980466624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512492103338492,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway6671620,2019/02/21,"[serious] where can one get some affordable counseling/therapy? Sorry if this is against the rules, but does anyone know where one can get affordable therapy?  My insurance isn’t that great and I don’t have lot to spend out of pocket. However, I think it would be good if I saw someone at least once or twice a month to discuss and work through some issues. Thanks in advance. ",4.255399061032865,6.3776737183098575,4.647535211267607,82.81853286384978,72.38028169014085,9.240375586854462,30.143192488262912,9.725611199111238,3.07944882629108,298,13,56,8,6,94,57,71,0.015,0.8009999999999999,0.183,0.9388,3,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,13,14,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,1,0,3,1,1,4,3,8,11,4,7,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,6,1,40,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841286988203504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982602405306923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367317909585935,0.0,0.0,0.19002400047377746,0.0,0.24977823320696202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23646507596436894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450897519285688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926093802699023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083443475810834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412742083564343,0.30703973362318643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919597358347904,0.0,0.0,0.2536103284416648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20858186123749012,0.5181719064077496,0.0,0.0,0.1451676133780609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493509872745507,0.0,0.0,0.16093852355529514,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Doodooabc,2019/02/21,"Living with 39 year old bipolar brother, need some advice. My brother is 39 years old. Diagnosed with being bi polar and schizophrenia. These past couple of nights he’s been having the worst manic episodes keeping everyone up all night not allowing anyone in the house to sleep.

He just broke up with his girlfriend, got a new job, and a few days later got fired from his job. He spends all night screaming, talking to himself, crying, knocking on doors and windows inside of the house. Occasionally he will burst out in gibberish yelling, sounding like he’s trying to speak tongue. When asked why he keeps talking, he says calmly. “Oh it’s for my play, I’m just practicing my acting.”

Last night was the worst. My mother and father told him he needs help. He refuses. He pressed my father between his doorway. We called the cops, they came to our house he ran away. He came back home a few hours later acting fine. Then a few hours later going completely berserk again. The cops have said they can’t do anything. We can’t admit him into the hospital unless he wants to help himself. Morning comes he’s still crazy. No one in the house has slept. My father came home to him again lashing out, threatening to cut everyone’s head off. The cops were called once more, and now he again ran away.

What am I supposed to do to get him admitted? Obviously he’s unstable and off his medication. He wasn’t always like this. Any advice or help. The police aren’t doing anything, he won’t get help, he just comes home and goes batshit all day long. Kick him out and leave him on the street? He’s still my brother and all I wish the best for him but I’m out of options.",2.9539778225806432,5.330070143750003,3.4439314516129045,88.7569556451613,77.25,6.004032258064518,23.760080645161292,7.1029339738359605,0.9256854838709678,1306,43,252,15,31,407,176,320,0.073,0.856,0.071,-0.4039,3,0,0,0,1,0,43.0,3,0,2,1,11,11,1,0,16,0,18,7,3,1,5,48,44,14,0,4,7,7,2,2,1,2,3,6,5,0,4,24,0,3,2,1,1,10,7,5,0,1,14,8,27,6,36,27,12,55,0,1,0,1,62,17,0,3,30,139,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165619088700961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051267981679775,0.0,0.0,0.05762791319996297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05925403664358784,0.0,0.13947197352429758,0.0,0.07922294555139871,0.0,0.15923703297352784,0.06516187293550556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893219107188084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17306345666093728,0.2907690741942876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459965919981694,0.08885106432413131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937661389373832,0.09308583029807467,0.10930400729001734,0.0,0.0,0.08601201376807352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195048203881748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854908207021538,0.0,0.04816120527826415,0.0,0.13555288953748604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697041507928238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272048686878077,0.0,0.2550113855649701,0.0,0.16690889549379215,0.3911265969729236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818802356336404,0.1506463357450305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907657649462602,0.0,0.08973023865290816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280196409118237,0.0,0.07482931932526929,0.07499458538732867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536931227433629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567121385988628,0.0,0.08184498689204664,0.0,0.31810097458506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17784632805797526,0.0902481647719085,0.05742381802909615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080896455626464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060967336620327,0.06739076274111355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480385785512014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535119184538708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622587656293556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097524101940874,0.0,0.05753470193853893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049983415130508975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764670677161449,0.0,0.09744987420167933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914298635054734
mentalhealth,Scubastevechard,2019/02/21,"My 2yo son will pass away, and I’m terrified 
My 2yo son will pass away, and I’m terrified
J has a life limiting disability and his health is taking a downward spiral.

I’ve never questioned my own humanity more than now. I spend my spare time trying to fill my thoughts with work, motorbikes, Facebook and sex. I occasionally drift off into the shadows of my thoughts where the silhouette of my sons death hangs over me. I start by thinking of how beautiful he is and how wonderful life is when I’m with him, which then turns to vast pain in the realisation of what I will be losing when he will no longer be here. My thoughts often turn to how it happens, what death actually looks like for J. Which ever way I picture it, it is the darkest, scariest place I have ever known. I imagine that my perfect boy, my beautiful soulful soldier slowly suffers and wastes away, leaving us with memories of pain and suffering, this frightens me most, and the most sickening feeling is that there is nothing I can do to help him. Why is life so cruel? No, why is death so cruel? My thoughts are then lead to means of being able to ensure the end is quick and painless for him, and he’s goes out strong, happy and conscious... but I have no answers. More pain comes when I think of how J and I last connect... the last exchange of words we have, the last giggle, the last kiss, the last hug. How horrific is it that these beautiful things will end? More painful still is the thought of having my other two beautiful children come and say goodbye to their bossy, cheerful, gorgeous brother, and how will they ever get over it? I’m worried for them, sickeningly so. This leads me to my wife. She is the most astonishing Mother to my children. I am in awe of her everyday. She would do anything at all for her children, and I don’t say this flippantly. The adoration she has for them just amazes me. For her to lose a child would break her forever, another great fear of mine. She of all people deserves a happy and long life with her children as it indeed wouldn’t be wasted. I want to protect my family, I would stop at nothing to do so, but I am helpless, useless. We are all on a path to certain horror and our own worst nightmares will become reality. How do I prepare for this? People say to make memories. The children have school, we have a mortgage and I have to work... ironically, selfishly and wastefully, ‘life’ must go on... the guilt is crushing. My beautiful boy deserves more of me, but then don’t my others? I am too weak to leave work for the fear of losing everything that isn’t important. But keeping normality also seems right and true, and also what our family deserve. I am a confused, lonely, sorrowful man, who puts on a brave face for all to see, but deep down is hurt and afraid.

I will always be positive, always will be hopeful, but the shadows are always lurking.
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mentalhealth,spoooky_spice,2019/02/21,"More confused than ever after visit with a psychiatrist today So, I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I've been experiencing ADD symptoms my entire life. It was always speculated about by my teachers when I was younger, and then when I was about 17 my general practitioner decided I definitely had it and prescribed me Ritalin. At the time I was not in school and was working in retail, so I never really took the meds because I felt I had no need. 

About a year ago I made a career change, and left my group home job, that involved constant movement/crisis management/and was very physically active, for my current job which is primarily at a desk. I've been really struggling to focus, complete minor tasks, stay on track, stay organized, etc, and decided it might be time to finally deal with the ADD. I have Kaiser, so I made a psychiatrist appointment through them. 

(A relevant side note to this, is that I've also struggled with bouts of anxiety and depression, but my symptoms are mostly manageable and I've been in and out of therapy to deal with these.)

Anyway. So, today I get to my appointment, and it was just... Kind of awful. The Doctor was very brusque and snappy. She would ask me questions and then interrupt, or get visibly frustrated if I was giving her too much or too little detail (in her opinion) when trying to answer a question. She criticized the way I was describing things from my childhood, could not remember the names of past partners and made no attempt to keep them straight (literally she was referring to my two ex girlfriends interchangeably as ""One of the one's with the name that starts with C"".) She quickly decided that I cannot be diagnosed with ADD, even though I have a history, because the depression will mask it and give a false positive. So, I need an antidepressant. She also tells me I have PTSD. So, now I'm kind of confused, because I do not have ANY significant trauma. (at least, not as defined in PTSD- nothing where my life was in danger or threatened, or anyone around me either.) I also did not describe any symptoms of PTSD to her, no flashbacks or dissociating etc. She didn't explain to me why she thought this, and when I said I didn't have trauma she said it could have been from childhood bullying, (this was teasing, not physical) or from previous unhealthy relationships (again, emotionally shitty, but not physical/no phycological abuse.)

To wrap this up, she prescribed me Zoloft, stating it was the best for a depression/PTSD combo- I'm concerned because I 1. Do not really trust her professional opinion at this point, and 2. don't want to take something to treat a condition I probably don't have? 

So, my question is, am I reacting to this really unfairly? Has anyone else ever been told they have PTSD, but have experienced no significant trauma? I'm thinking I should get a second opinion before starting the Zoloft, is that reasonable?

tl;dr: Went to doctor for opinion on possible ADD diagnosis, was diagnosed with PTSD but has no previous trauma, was prescribed Zoloft but I'm now hesitant to take it because I don't trust this doctor.

Thanks so much!",6.914583333333333,7.747680736111111,7.469097222222228,70.01062500000002,64.55555555555556,10.913888888888893,35.79166666666667,10.805372152983287,4.172075,2488,114,419,65,36,821,262,576,0.16699999999999998,0.7879999999999999,0.045,-0.9971,3,0,1,0,1,0,93.0,0,0,3,3,32,20,3,4,24,1,57,14,0,5,3,92,89,49,0,8,22,1,1,0,2,4,14,2,1,1,24,29,0,2,14,0,1,4,20,13,0,4,36,5,59,7,64,45,9,57,0,2,0,0,39,21,0,18,28,312,83,11,0.0,0.07711772046451368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057695899306387265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615069496322226,0.05415778662030537,0.0,0.0,0.08852309214643064,0.0,0.049791550252675065,0.0,0.0,0.09102100448523047,0.06668955537828418,0.0,0.0579414310316667,0.06084777080877043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19838284630794506,0.0,0.05538443599729705,0.0,0.06830502882971948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885365556093773,0.0,0.06824271882951477,0.07033616937177899,0.0,0.10393370860386296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420414545705356,0.11211906591907198,0.13212432999389132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998586034428769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437202607413103,0.0732143695050407,0.0,0.0,0.14517892554176876,0.04298949936474717,0.11775024567814793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062493944645485765,0.07129987538091198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201616868006633,0.12487519727270095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652877952403203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917805869669502,0.11570503528737905,0.0,0.13555666137365344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071746222202255,0.0,0.09194606611312388,0.0,0.0652345001535364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847613228616739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229723596791074,0.0,0.0,0.06904726185008428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956932012727346,0.09652270772039384,0.05019928170986367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062452949404206225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820957852752526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621331226318439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061528467256112676,0.1467521370748323,0.0,0.0,0.07017503884014492,0.0,0.4565009095826837,0.0,0.21873776935344108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678617623965902,0.06692050928133712,0.0,0.06987932323136424,0.07373113982307455,0.0,0.1238257147804317,0.0,0.0,0.06587174823347823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010732696646519,0.0,0.0,0.09213814808142967,0.13874864700302947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13608660253961574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20295164989927908,0.09787498850441334,0.0,0.05688910494716365,0.059923573575092336,0.07443291610773498,0.0,0.043241061281126814,0.04170526674453346,0.06394786973955675,0.051671987663973185,0.07590577058036703,0.0,0.12339016087121585,0.06219363433712845,0.072314303702489,0.08837990894534031,0.0,0.06358076291482767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740755698078233,0.03839013264317009,0.0516632109713805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033651120616877,0.05873109840118239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04738427620250485,0.0,0.0,0.04623609838418232,0.0,0.0,0.04191404000835975
mentalhealth,tastylifts,2019/02/21,"So a lot of what I see on here makes me sad and... I hope this post doesn't get taken down but to the people out there that aren't able to go to school, work, have relationships because of their mental health, i just want you to know that you WILL beat this. It is a hard, long, painful journey but just think of how much potential we all have. We're capable of so much. We just need to give ourselves the chance, for once. We put ourselves down for no reason and it has to end. You are a beautiful, unique being and no one can replace you. You all have something to bring to this big table called Life. We come on here to reddit for a simple purpose: to relate. We feel a sense of comfort knowing that other people are fighting the same fight, we like knowing we are not alone. But how many times do we have to see that to realize that we need to take action for ourselves. Every day its the same damn thing. Log in, read sad posts about other people's struggles, internalize that we're not alone, but yet we continue in our self-hate. And not only is this detrimental to ourselves, but because we don't allow ourselves to get better and share in our success, we keep supplementing the same sadness and negativity to others. I'm on a mission to stop this cycle for myself, who's joining me? ",5.665110246433206,5.6027763929961125,5.922350194552532,83.11859662775619,67.17120622568093,8.409753566796367,29.19559014267185,7.793537801064563,1.6859968352788584,1011,31,206,10,15,323,140,257,0.149,0.725,0.126,-0.7737,0,2,1,0,3,0,33.0,14,5,1,4,12,14,3,1,11,0,17,3,0,5,2,54,39,15,0,4,11,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,20,20,0,2,7,1,0,6,9,8,0,1,1,4,26,6,37,36,8,25,0,3,2,0,27,10,1,2,8,148,46,4,0.13538592992013282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28043798627422817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506001254508604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973785299346122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824417150287005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662299073669828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731272459995182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119911749236268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406848510498928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845519405965714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146712107015966,0.12987452047899556,0.07694294394359083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127920070171835,0.0,0.0,0.14390891257360186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446877640331198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033723512073845,0.0,0.0,0.22321369930847465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562708614020758,0.06614272675150848,0.0,0.0,0.11981228763255825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151002761714272,0.0,0.0,0.0903711595106636,0.13726008327706066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643717424893922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19904847239209653,0.20077390313377885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418159684618226,0.09174100992928792,0.102967100427914,0.14406017485281508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815786713848541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25932459347168696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136100253414492,0.0,0.0,0.13542256727550978,0.0,0.0,0.13919928445268348,0.0,0.1453538219643586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370177889890122,0.21577011534181875,0.0,0.14123705148087765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422670321060712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131886995938768,0.0,0.14153476938940554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179337031307137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994439602966542,0.08674983724856909,0.0,0.0,0.0789446244812374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985412919538537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856256942049982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,taurustangle113,2019/02/21,"So anxious and annoyed about having to fire my therapist I've seen this guy a couple of times now and when I went last night he was dancing around my issues so much I actually started to tear up in complete frustration.  No exaggeration -- he has spent about 90% of our session just talking at me about my life, my work, and my anxiety without actually asking me about how I feel or what's going on with me.  Yesterday he went on a 20 minute tangent about how the reason I don't get paid very much has to do with how non-profits are underfunded, yada yada yada, *mansplaining to me my* ***own*** *job*.  And I didn't even come in to talk about my job.  He just randomly asked me what I do for work and I told him what I do and that it's hard to get by on my pay and he just went off ---  

It's apparent to me that he's more of a PHD researcher who's doing therapy on the side as a way to get by while writing his book.  Going to see him feels like paying for a lecture in shit I already know.  He's spent 20 minutes explaining to me how SSRI's work - which I already knew and already told him I didn't feel like I needed medication again.  

It honestly makes me so much more anxious than I was initially to have to deal with the process of having to call him and say I don't want to see him anymore because I feel like he doesn't even hear me when I'm talking to him.  I just wanted to go to counseling because I wanted someone to talk to rather than hole up with my own depressive thoughts in my own head.  Going to this guy and having him lecture at me just made it so I am thinking about the things that make me depressed and go back into the places I feel lonely and scared all while this man explains to me how I can get over it if I just use a handy trick like breathing or scheduling my time better without actually considering that the reason I'm going to therapy is because of sexual trauma, loneliness, abandonment, or feelings of failure that I've had no one to process with.

I'm just so annoyed about it and I don't want to initiate the conversation at all.  I wish he didn't do his own scheduling :/",4.195791817881887,4.623932847575058,5.565782744968659,82.70226039260972,70.40877598152424,8.679940613658857,30.013939293962395,8.738905477910976,2.183769449026724,1645,63,347,27,28,555,186,433,0.134,0.823,0.043,-0.9853,3,2,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,0,4,34,17,5,1,13,0,25,5,3,11,2,69,76,32,0,8,14,0,8,4,0,0,2,2,0,3,20,21,0,1,14,2,5,11,11,11,0,1,18,13,56,6,69,58,11,46,0,4,3,0,39,19,1,5,19,241,76,13,0.0,0.0,0.2292790672336517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592751567300341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059912495325613366,0.1769524404554728,0.07766968494973453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697189723603269,0.14643214624387374,0.0,0.0,0.06022114452324982,0.0,0.14322443818428499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926525877851708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997068658221977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746339132490656,0.08211416499651546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665656694558402,0.0,0.0,0.08074166396276926,0.1349090955935369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034556332016394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375973819173803,0.16784961479699512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367015951274014,0.0,0.2670570478856736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509281583086645,0.0,0.0,0.07015688866172483,0.0,0.08037611105684918,0.0,0.08826925247459352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174287987592224,0.15543560701691042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043041122081797334,0.06383902593425235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531780219993367,0.15304744390264508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410569220500397,0.10455476849017144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889640768017259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271660888800114,0.05807126154706292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349545025521946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053069807370787286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182487562770242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104638956447725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228103459489906,0.07840924739320497,0.0,0.12481744496151698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039154970901659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635796666109561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055433365081284575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517938122626581,0.0,0.0,0.179125241762757,0.09093238394913834,0.05203051258161792,0.050182542744811966,0.0,0.062175162325190374,0.09133485705918533,0.0,0.0,0.1496710107476891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06764097362014741,0.0,0.06461994779125146,0.1847742141677972,0.06216460162661268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178026749875613,0.0,0.0,0.0900609926280093,0.15099010235438387,0.0,0.17104771063063798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thepanckingfool,2019/02/21,Can Derealization give me schizophrenia? This may be a silly question but I keep getting freaked out. I have pretty severe derealization especially at nighttime and it causes bad anxiety/panic attacks. One thought i keep having is that I'm on the edge of losing my mind and becoming schizophrenic or psychotic. Is this possible? ,5.19482142857143,8.745070267857148,6.283571428571433,64.26142857142858,78.46428571428572,8.914285714285715,34.785714285714285,9.23628265651192,4.5988500000000005,269,15,36,8,7,89,48,56,0.277,0.643,0.08,-0.935,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,2,0,7,1,0,1,0,12,13,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,5,1,4,10,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,3,0,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774125363803801,0.0,0.0,0.20360306571896072,0.0,0.2693111843614499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504992777255731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740062270549052,0.2339214180289297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334869776966983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27280376756078456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24621717384987765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652378546224229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27490221239334306,0.0,0.2480812896071523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731657970045247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27547906314014003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358823674703196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gosohabc123,2019/02/21,"I can’t stop thinking during work? Nearly every day I work I can’t stop thinking. I do everything else on auto pilot and whenever I catch myself doing this I snap out of it partially for less then a minute, then right back in again.

I’ll think about anything: cars, my house, the god damn Spanish alphabet it makes no difference, my head just runs away and I actually can’t bring it back. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to do work at the same level as I can when this isn’t happening (which is very rare) 

Can anyone please help me? ",4.819007936507937,5.419804472222223,5.504920634920636,83.07500000000002,69.09259259259258,8.764021164021164,26.539682539682538,8.841846274778883,1.7960460317460318,425,12,86,7,7,138,77,108,0.094,0.8370000000000001,0.069,-0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,6,1,1,0,4,0,10,1,1,1,0,11,17,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,3,0,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,0,12,0,12,17,3,21,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,0,9,57,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.1857777439060608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311405739799634,0.0,0.15666173429497698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17886281465195858,0.2927719961518093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277560082321325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989005054789947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903320427213374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16039846262873966,0.0,0.17109604314101412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683472641193738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19537883797565653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127603804081447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21966625072526133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707624755554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20897368813147266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257851481161606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183226880780235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313769564824771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659522745960069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707864119691622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41578402465595055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hoshibear,2019/02/21,"Calming down from a sensory overload/ panic attack? I began having a sensory overload which I think may have triggered a panic attack. I'm trying to calm down but I'm extremely paranoid and I'm dissociating a lot. For those of you who have experienced something like this, how do you handle it? ",3.5347878787878777,6.415211600000003,5.577727272727274,71.39992424242425,78.45454545454545,7.303030303030304,29.166666666666664,8.344100000000001,2.8703939393939395,238,11,36,5,6,82,40,55,0.235,0.647,0.118,-0.6907,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,1,7,2,2,4,0,5,0,0,2,0,7,10,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,4,3,6,8,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6284230604722528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349348592590482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348109962901537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6481103260723072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21262829973118874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769745163947908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875181825406668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alocotpi,2019/02/21,"I have no motivation to do anything other than hibernate, and my emotions are so unpredictable I don't know what to do I'm formally diagnosed with depression, and have been on medication for the last 8 months to deal with it, as well as having attended various types of therapy. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse again and nobody seems to take me seriously when I open up as I somehow manage to make myself look happy and normal. All I want to do is lie in bed and sleep, and never leave my room, I'm just about managing to get myself to work at the moment but I'm worried I'm going to spiral and end up completely isolating myself from people. I have suicidal thoughts frequently and although I don't think I'd follow through with it it's really distressing. I don't want to let people down with the emotional burden of helping me.

This probably makes no sense as my brain is mush at the moment, I just needed a place to vent :(",5.915190615835776,6.032038827956993,7.181964809384162,73.68840175953079,66.63440860215053,11.06471163245357,31.96285434995113,10.832165505486646,3.524027956989247,746,28,140,20,11,255,114,186,0.17,0.7490000000000001,0.081,-0.9691,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,8,7,0,1,5,0,15,4,2,3,2,32,36,17,1,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,6,14,0,0,6,0,0,3,6,4,1,0,2,2,18,3,33,33,2,22,0,1,1,0,2,10,0,2,10,100,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473312315850148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692075754377136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892326564340306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562669353209654,0.1305511298667699,0.15384520395525642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34100243640150946,0.13425025908801128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664075953325727,0.10828504810612437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583831257326013,0.0,0.08614343652904655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135416436334074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159737527235296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330153120945558,0.12355367039774212,0.0,0.16049579892099394,0.0,0.1549954748816093,0.0,0.07405177774265875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272846342248273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202354675928972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152695637306893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209855376884592,0.0,0.0,0.11239077357095513,0.11690380921391863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851109515317504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210165725087214,0.0,0.15836337672278092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342324178187756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710268086768736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798798057464834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168423847269896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579820006377174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396536557101955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733389627801089,0.0,0.0,0.09712299420731622,0.0,0.12033343868317045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17880545654629745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628392431141093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034823997947392,0.15393153958022504,0.30893528613246474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shanerdd,2019/02/21,"Trying to better myself. Not sure if this really belongs here, but I didn’t really see anywhere else to put it. I need help.

I’ve lived in Nevada since I was in middle school, but I’m 26 now. Moved around a lot growing up because our living situation was never stable. My parents gambled a lot and we had to move being short on rent multiple times and other stuff involving money lost because they gambled.

I’ve never really kept a job for long because I get burnt  out and end up missing work and getting let go. I started gambling at casinos before I turned 21 and have been doing it ever since. Almost every penny I’ve made I’ve gambled over the last 6-7 years. I’ve been with my girlfriend for a while now and found out she’s pregnant and I’m trying to get my shit together. I’ve been working and keeping a job (which I usually never do.) We are getting our own place in this month. We have everything paid, but I just feel like I can’t ever save money because anything extra I have after paying bills I just go gamble. I don’t know how to stop, and it’s draining me working and never have money. Clearly the obvious thing is to quit gambling so I have money, it’s just so hard for me to do. I’m heading down the same path my parents did and are still on and I wanna change it. I just don’t know where to start.  It makes me feel depressed because I’m working for nothing in a sense. 

Sorry for the all over the place story, and sorry if this is the wrong forum for it. 

",2.575888157894738,4.144280233552632,4.329373684210527,85.6814157894737,75.61184210526315,6.1797894736842105,24.988947368421048,6.742157984588678,1.0060796315789475,1157,39,228,10,25,391,159,304,0.109,0.835,0.055,-0.9439,5,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,5,0,1,7,15,9,1,0,12,0,25,2,2,3,10,58,52,22,0,4,10,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,14,20,0,3,5,1,15,6,9,5,0,0,13,4,30,4,32,37,6,47,0,3,1,0,12,20,1,5,22,157,44,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421309371741596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742439599044608,0.08375609214851555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28676840837728074,0.0,0.08005987843910761,0.0,0.0,0.08321102851259883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953004296307873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103575152977334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785964092546751,0.0,0.08333187655569195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170211543828444,0.07927113881838653,0.0,0.08455803107353355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951449681504592,0.06721474001544431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315995591557213,0.0,0.0,0.19662327911637376,0.0,0.1069419793702676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428217790181178,0.0,0.09655892415372967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306356495764914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673079340849533,0.08362756515523878,0.0,0.0,0.10341392207065576,0.07669228558313254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620885551556108,0.0,0.0459654502233422,0.0,0.16615853937496272,0.08326275637243083,0.0,0.0,0.10270549857454052,0.15997635038322686,0.0,0.0890260279938346,0.06280283922552964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509819318165492,0.1999961126155249,0.0,0.06976324763048393,0.2902583239535628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027762849672252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089417513569096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659876188922454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945819703988151,0.0,0.10007157004068556,0.0,0.0,0.18082084914237925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521960567407677,0.07497400684500037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657747120239957,0.15565708837585454,0.1057561069897823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210642154119058,0.13318848160453886,0.0,0.07513684656789088,0.07865973769986011,0.0,0.0,0.10770545186374587,0.0,0.0,0.08867452308619088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250626276873103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486204432764788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775583319054945,0.10233806759548987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362194764197212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739816213264519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028677857030716,0.0,0.0605880133567658
mentalhealth,Stekkerbox,2019/02/21,"Dont click on this thread if youre feeling suicidal please \*\*\*\*\*\*\*

why would i even try to live? theres so many people born every second. Im not special at all? Im not suicidal. I am just wondering.",-0.7816260162601623,1.3810001463414636,2.040853658536588,92.60160569105692,96.3170731707317,5.660162601626017,19.028455284552845,7.1686216300943375,0.6331430894308943,150,5,33,3,6,52,35,41,0.256,0.6609999999999999,0.084,-0.8695,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,5,2,2,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,3,4,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,1,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711857084990997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282998384697294,0.0,0.1949548698825085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116997025413276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4998787753100258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432036745383586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345917161143328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604157163157965,0.0,0.0,0.253995191168618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5062031311920664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570976663616322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087922156015662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509310594679657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437181808626058,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fall-Maiden,2019/02/21,"UK Im at the end of my tether, feel like I am going in circles and need more help than I am getting This is mostly a rant, but I just don't know what to do. if anyone has any advice or avenues of enquiry they can impart I would appreciate it greatly  
Im depressed, anxious, and have been for most of my life. I cant think of many times where I wasn't contemplating my own mortality or the futility of existence and really that is just the background noise. Invasive hurtful thoughts, cause me to physically spasm and blurt out things.

​

Im massively stressed too which doesn't help and when I talk to people about it I am expected to feel like my thoughts are normal. but I self harm, and contemplate dropping out of uni, leaving my job and none of this is normal. self care drains all my energy and yet more and more cavities and my poor fitness are testament to how I am failing even that.  


Something is up with me, everyone else is some level of functional and I am just not, try as I might, I am sad, exhausted my moods are all over the place and I spend more time these days daydreaming than engaging with life because at least its the one thing Im good at.  


Im at the end of my tether with local mental health services too, because there has to be something else that their therapists arent picking up on. I go in and talk about depression and anxiety and they just tend to run with it, I dont feel like they see me. Im debating going to a hospital because I am struggling so much and no one else seems urgent to help  


This is mostly a rant, but I just don't know what to do. if anyone has any advice or avenues of enquiry they can impart I would appreciate it greatly",5.46670588235294,5.424774023529412,6.310588235294119,80.09764705882355,67.58823529411765,9.741176470588236,32.0,9.516144504307137,2.729311764705882,1328,51,271,25,20,440,167,340,0.147,0.736,0.118,-0.9317,2,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,5,1,16,18,0,2,9,0,36,4,0,3,2,61,53,28,1,8,14,0,3,3,0,3,4,0,0,2,17,22,0,0,9,0,2,4,10,9,0,2,4,4,36,8,42,45,14,29,1,5,1,0,12,17,0,11,10,196,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16460121658768045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125432955328087,0.10233875537427467,0.1145474799616877,0.0,0.06442947785189443,0.09514670755409596,0.0,0.11777973898740525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402255769339285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586978000723379,0.08651903069723521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054316119956229265,0.0,0.14508029651115031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870737041916544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110696231747259,0.0,0.14919110554664808,0.0,0.0,0.05562773167594234,0.0,0.0,0.08047757833845624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277552802025379,0.18050430015036756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04400243580254417,0.0,0.14359563942737652,0.0706412843660066,0.0,0.18570975409863136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895238786091275,0.0,0.0,0.1693563741383528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016122272513498,0.0,0.5458442450263116,0.0,0.08357718156508173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257224246189263,0.0,0.0,0.08917876896207008,0.0,0.0,0.11897675409064146,0.1234396119326579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538772764952703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487580655567385,0.08934606385076259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191274383596127,0.06244942794226298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503904441123154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141417983015862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838882004171565,0.0,0.08799389815658787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05395466797831798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711390305120611,0.07667240090980053,0.17572349656131814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967617584190624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647583432788648,0.08804695475207333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538865108398745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977880488173606,0.11190649762727926,0.053965954994138886,0.0,0.13372546819148134,0.09822086558102276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05718110158299725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965755883014068,0.0,0.10233875537427467,0.0
mentalhealth,bubblypiece,2019/02/21,"Can anyone tell me what this is I'm going through? I need help finding the correct catagory for these episodes I have which seems part of a condition.

I'm in the UK, currently going through some extensive assessments having suffered a mental breakdown 18 months ago. These assesments are taking months and it's likely going to be a long while before diagnosis.

I'm barely functioning and have been unable to work for over a year now.

Every now and then, I go through a specific cycle that involves feeling exhausted and incredibly stressed, breaking down emotionally and going through short acute phases of uncontrollable anger. They happen somewhat frequently, last for some days and always very powerful. I'm getting better with avoiding them at lengths of time; diet, social life,active, etc. But they still happen.

I need to know what these episodes are for when calling health resources for support and documenting them as part of these assessments. 

I think these 'cycles' are more than ""emotional breakdowns"" and I'm not sure they are ""panic attacks"" as I know them.

This current cycle was triggered from an incident the other day when we caught somebody trying break into a neighbor's and had to get the police involved. Long story short, I've not slept a whole night at all and have just experienced severe ""emotional attacks.""

Feel free to ask questions or check history. but, yeh, please can we have a label for this, thanks.
",8.613571428571433,9.457363690476193,7.6318412698412725,70.26871428571431,60.904761904761905,10.053333333333336,37.43492063492064,9.888512548439397,3.9389996825396825,1158,52,176,21,15,356,161,252,0.076,0.838,0.086,0.5588,3,1,0,0,0,0,33.0,2,0,6,3,6,15,3,4,13,0,16,5,2,1,3,38,44,19,0,2,6,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,14,14,1,1,8,0,2,6,2,9,0,0,5,3,15,7,30,38,9,37,0,1,0,1,17,8,1,6,22,120,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185041970220328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560459865836286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033957022930527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741441019761792,0.2614268309338588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776999958591576,0.0,0.0,0.1016182185363695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732402143476844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819980996132062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877354033111535,0.0,0.0,0.12814198821845138,0.0,0.0,0.09680678213049644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619207620640565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501497425025877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005924998006742,0.0,0.3264967884850256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20320839305786825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213153118783715,0.0,0.0,0.07701391558426221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629021321480086,0.09365745834111937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115607466189081,0.05613351077869424,0.0,0.0,0.2033627783296321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579047262581668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342147051491992,0.0,0.0,0.17039128274800766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782428099121093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480841116274908,0.0,0.24884734705338984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612384162792487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871240348795088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459910661206458,0.0,0.12980238637558672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712435808232335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175793919568673,0.0,0.13161562649149516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038524116329625,0.10829029789262314,0.0,0.08638923023442012,0.0,0.10042618773618557,0.10578292724528776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736221979861371,0.0,0.0,0.06699812884772616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800841071497866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480313929754387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282798604322715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364733848556137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399074488113197
mentalhealth,whoisssuuuu,2019/02/21,"I don’t know what’s happening to me? I’m not asking for a diagnosis, more of someone to understand. 

let me just start off saying that I’m 18F, My mother is Bipolar and has schizophrenia.  (she’s institutionalized) 
I had a horrible childhood with so much trauma (sexual trauma 4 different times) 
and much more. i mean i even saw my moms bf beat her with a hammer and MUCH MORE.

That’s just a backstory but anyways i’ve always felt something was off with me. I’m always up/down but not really manic. Just one day I cry for hours for no reason & the next i’m fine and i’m ready to change my life and all of that. Most of the time i cry daily, I have breakdowns/panic attacks about everything. Like where i’m screaming and about to throw up & all of that. Literally freak outs. 

I have GAD and Depression. Lately my anxiety has been physical so that sucks (happened 2 months ago after a big panic attack) I haven’t felt the same since, I have dp/dr as well, that’s going away slowly. 

I just don’t know wtf is wrong with me. I feel insane. when i get mad I throw shit (act like a 3 year old) I haven’t told anyone this part just the anxiety. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to be this person, or like my mother. ",0.5910977909482753,2.828048683593753,2.787133620689655,90.803125,85.6015625,5.874784482758621,18.20258620689655,7.237678284180719,0.2938239762931034,957,24,208,15,29,324,140,256,0.25,0.6779999999999999,0.071,-0.9944,1,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,1,15,17,5,1,10,0,19,3,1,1,2,37,43,14,0,1,11,3,3,3,1,0,2,2,0,1,10,12,0,0,9,0,0,4,9,12,1,1,7,6,28,5,26,34,11,25,0,1,1,0,10,7,2,2,17,131,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550469266425966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19806955785224448,0.2579178146814522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821010598617694,0.0,0.11803657877716328,0.0832220592767788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126831257787388,0.27080651736648154,0.11182389038650738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590814695843244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614773583609636,0.07675852219650983,0.0,0.10251237725560516,0.0,0.0,0.12435132682991393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861206728371284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696815439808016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060180455446438776,0.0,0.2285571245951375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218341715078138,0.0,0.0676422216534769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21049927058773504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721144061591293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196232035724883,0.0,0.13426056357031832,0.0,0.0,0.12170675665687622,0.0840678589256248,0.17444254486691904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964846318389656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939563628410942,0.09500120829784152,0.0,0.2624817858386682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265798927995284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489223092786478,0.0,0.08065152449716774,0.0,0.0,0.13964517799601486,0.0,0.12888784821873595,0.0,0.0,0.10392430745925403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624772503920489,0.12237312962520334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946500587847326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217306528779742,0.0984551748139955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008458752517646,0.09162797001829953,0.0,0.0,0.08424348275050733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880388541996172,0.0,0.0,0.1137294046075414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390477368592445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020150815830037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701392685871944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013048014452738,0.0,0.07664544556132648
mentalhealth,arktiskmjolk,2019/02/21,"i feel extremely anxious and cannot focus on anything Ever since the new semester started (i'm a physics major), I cannot bring myself to study, and I can barely focus in class. Usually, I manage to go to my college's library and get stuff done but these days, no matter how hard I try to motivate myself, I don't go there. 
The past semester has been extremely draining for me as I felt extremely anxious and stressed out most of the time. I ended up studying probably way too much and got terrible results at all my exams. 
Right now everything is confusing. I get very easily distracted... it's pretty frustrating because we've got quite a lot of work and I feel extremely behind. 
Does anyone have any tip to focus? Or any study tip or something? 
I really want to do well but it's too hard when you feel anxious/depressed/sad pretty much all the time. ",3.6790533562822745,5.648336698795184,5.170430292598971,79.11204819277111,73.57831325301204,8.598278829604133,29.327022375215147,9.23628265651192,2.854863683304648,676,29,121,16,14,227,107,166,0.14300000000000002,0.7340000000000001,0.123,-0.3741,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,3,8,6,1,3,6,0,10,0,0,3,3,26,24,13,0,1,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,5,1,0,5,6,17,1,16,19,7,21,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,5,11,78,21,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573297720842927,0.0,0.0,0.4628268017291866,0.0,0.09548696132066437,0.0,0.11237846141468323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324661007301377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807085649771466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950587053360835,0.13974980613710666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209529367885873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352767603649635,0.0,0.0,0.1227326517790498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714876096838464,0.0,0.13112043552776942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269547280765685,0.0,0.1552220711383328,0.0,0.21844137974979466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446645235295857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609968595054795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007768000420792,0.0,0.0,0.13189192737465344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036338394709046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778642377365729,0.14723637158920486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524994258801402,0.0,0.0,0.08748478029597027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662275689615866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296506660592115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513169831486786,0.0,0.0,0.09665891770549208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643071278721074,0.0,0.15633022139319705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592601931919753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271628010166512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040317584440224,0.11267752203981893,0.08054749849279852,0.10839614560672113,0.0,0.0,0.12278516998415788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941838314233144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PsyWarrior123,2019/02/21,"I lost everything and i can't focus I made several mistakes that lead to me losing my gf was 2.5 years, my first time and eachothers first big love. We started together in the first month of college, and then we fell in love. Now I lost her, and all the friends we made together. Im currently in my junior year of college and now I'm left with nothing. I can't concentrate or focus on my schoolwork and as a junior mechanical engineer its a lot, because im depressed and on top of that I have to work 18 hours to cover my rent (we lived together and i was kicked out). She left me for the man I was being insecure about(just as fuck buddies, tho the guy is head over heels), and refuses to talk to me. Tbh I should hate her forever, and im starting to forget all the time we spent together. To sum up, I have no time, very few friends, with not much game. I slept with another girl since then (its been 1 month). She has a million guys throwing themselves at her, and a lots of opportunity to network through that. I want to be more accomplish more but I cant handle all this stress and emotion on work, school, the loneliness (lost all close friends in college), and this feeling of not being enough of man not having the friends, the girls, the job. And ofc the jealously she's enjoying the breakup so exotically while I'm digging through crap. I can't even join clubs because of all the work.  Im having breakdowns because of all the pressure, and the only person i completely trusted threw me to the side like trash. I'm unravelling at the seams and the councilor services are awful and keep cancelling on me (only once in two weeks anyway). I can't juggle everything at once. I can't see a future for myself like I did at first. Its gotten to the point where i just dont care about anything anymore, everything stresses me out, and i just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I still think I love her and I cant believe what she did immediately after our breakup. I want her back but at the same i realize i could never take her back, if i had any self respect. I can't open up or trust people. It feels as if all our love and time together was just fake and lies. I had a troubled childhood as well, and this was the first time i had a sense of community and bonding. That i completely devoted my entire heart and trust in someone. Now here I am, subletting in a house full of strangers. After a month of pushing myself, I'm not happy with where I am and I don't even want anything anymore. i've lost all motivation. The previous semester I got addicted to weed, several concussions that tanked my grade, forcing me into an additional year of school and gave me suicidal depression. Over winter break my parents moved to a new place out of the city, so I was extremely isolated with no car and no company. Incredible Isolation. So many bad things happened and they were all my fault. When i was going back to college I was supposed to have a community again and rebuild all that I lost. (she ended it a week before winter break ended, i wonder why since the person she swore was just a friend lived in the city.) Now I'm only isolated again, this time surrounded by functioning people with healthy social and sexual activities putting more pressure on me. It feels like im trying to climb a cliff as smooth as marble.",3.6936952436876105,5.351732424427481,4.815629770992366,82.97204125073401,72.84732824427479,8.152965355255432,29.084703464474448,8.786649364141006,2.305214327657077,2618,108,515,51,52,860,292,655,0.159,0.7140000000000001,0.127,-0.9702,4,1,0,0,0,0,76.0,7,0,1,20,28,44,4,5,39,1,41,13,7,4,12,98,83,51,1,9,14,1,4,3,6,1,1,0,1,9,18,49,0,2,7,2,2,11,19,22,1,7,29,5,80,22,78,49,20,101,0,8,1,5,45,40,2,7,51,358,98,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651177934025928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04062049237447578,0.06263526494979127,0.0,0.0,0.118478182319357,0.0,0.0,0.09831034862113414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377929834192728,0.04987456491453189,0.10923805800658908,0.0,0.05082838851520076,0.06729864266793423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060901780556820585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525784053012534,0.0,0.0,0.04769194472794332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289590098514532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000663809901927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671915918450319,0.105811427143123,0.061720162779893686,0.0,0.07890617414220794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610525224100211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060840774501397,0.042673271382140464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540443217098737,0.0,0.0,0.23074786109388756,0.05522220147107669,0.0,0.0,0.06789528765211468,0.0,0.047773941567947904,0.0,0.0,0.11829013419021638,0.05282169988565112,0.06358689555890687,0.0,0.058973976808012224,0.061303297071934465,0.0,0.0,0.07078389964772601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05882497855780518,0.06892386895333352,0.0,0.0,0.3226094832780073,0.0,0.059275791446133534,0.05309344024952184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12980017147075096,0.0,0.0,0.0875475884217768,0.0,0.10549067721720896,0.0,0.0,0.06682595454097896,0.3260281607949649,0.10156573116342063,0.21564547998953726,0.1130416290171475,0.0,0.0605598925619581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430349463769173,0.06348673212939901,0.0439106323371356,0.0,0.09213955321518437,0.05769050936134864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057315430212056165,0.0,0.0,0.12722740371345248,0.0,0.13628892807992954,0.0,0.0,0.0663264341769706,0.0,0.0,0.08282269047044706,0.1043131135630016,0.06240827769001254,0.0,0.05646699803156127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060048169341409476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090598201812948,0.0475994720796066,0.0,0.06231455248489675,0.13496258878677436,0.0,0.09882351956267926,0.0,0.059776144407260076,0.06089027720584566,0.050611582096046416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455865810356117,0.0,0.047702855707737885,0.0,0.13684791298587598,0.0,0.0,0.06533821344436927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04491178660613171,0.04801112753233062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039683954942034284,0.03827449829632069,0.0,0.0,0.20898477675891924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040554790058989314,0.0,0.058350467262778434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0492859856508623,0.14092829814010352,0.0,0.09582842865898794,0.0,0.05370714598994583,0.0,0.053899746990390456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647778969076303,0.13045901923331166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539829221465125
mentalhealth,apersons,2019/02/21,Any therapy technique to stop dry heaving when swallowing pills? Hi.  I gag about 8 times when swallowing a pill.  I'm tallking full on retching stomach churning dry heaves that almost make me throw up.  Just putting the pill in my hand starts me gagging.  Is there any therapy technique that can teach me to stop gagging when swallowing a pill?,4.627795698924731,7.415895112903229,4.2367741935483885,83.09182795698926,73.67741935483872,8.004301075268819,34.526881720430104,8.841846274778883,3.384346236559141,275,15,47,6,6,83,44,62,0.113,0.836,0.051,-0.4515,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,0,2,9,2,1,0,5,5,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,6,5,1,13,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,7,24,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27585762511613177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3746773952247836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838878376212612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769377026433245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19498912931600204,0.0,0.0,0.4606342404851964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6300803654734389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063704799498846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kirbieirene,2019/02/21,"Medical Withdrawal in School Due To Mental Illness--What Are Your Experiences and Is There Hope for Me. I was a student at UCF back in Fall of 2017, two weeks before the semester ended I had to go into residential treatment for bulimia, but thankfully did not have to medically withdraw because my professors helped me out. After I got out I thought I wanted to change my major, and UCF didn't offer it. I signed up for Chemistry 2045 at Seminole State and took it this past fall. I decided I wanted to change my major back to health administration after the withdrawal deadline. This class was no longer necessary, but I was passing and doing pretty okay so there was no issue. I had to reapply for UCF because I was gone for more than two semesters and was re-admitted provided I maintain a 2.0 in my time outside of UCF--no big deal, or so I thought. There was no issue until my mental health nose-dived. I have PTSD as well and we were talking about trauma stuff in therapy which was very hard. During all of that I had a major falling out with my parents, who pay for my therapy (insurance didn't cover this therapist and she is VERY expensive). So there I was in a major depressive episode after a falling out with my family before thanksgiving, I was actively relapsing, and having panic attacks again. I stopped going to class. It was stupid, but I was just in a real bad way again. I started going back to therapy after the semester for a few sessions until I could find someone that took my insurance because I desperately needed it. I explained to her what happened and that I failed the class, but it would be okay provided I pass it this semester (The plan is to take summer classes at UCF). I found a therapist that takes my insurance, but she was thinking that I would be able to get a medical withdrawal for the chemistry class I took at Seminole State (not through UCF through SSC), but I am very skeptical of this. I heard schools can be very tough on people withdrawing for mental health reasons. Has anyone had any experience doing a medical withdrawal due to mental health issues? Did it work out for you? I'm honestly really nervous.

*Also to add...my new professor of my new class makes his content MUCH more challenging despite it being the same class. He had bad ratings on RMP but I didn't have a choice because of my work schedule. So it is highly possible I might not pass this time either, but because I just don't understand much of whats going on. The professor is honestly kinda an asshole and I am scared to get real and talk about whats been going on and ask for help. If I fail I wont be let back in to UCF*
",3.7215368815860015,5.819407833005898,5.056757903197003,79.41235242900518,73.81335952848724,8.399374888372924,29.446374352562948,9.095868883498916,2.780771709233792,2093,91,377,48,44,696,229,509,0.14,0.787,0.07400000000000001,-0.9902,1,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,2,0,6,20,21,3,3,20,2,53,8,0,2,1,62,84,30,0,8,16,1,1,0,0,4,8,1,0,0,26,21,0,1,9,0,2,16,11,13,1,2,34,2,57,8,70,39,12,68,0,3,0,0,19,24,0,5,25,282,83,20,0.0685698048903663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054835248197237764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662981868425018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479456019067196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641035113292341,0.0780080521212322,0.0,0.21090378959692924,0.11450584584158432,0.20899758309624167,0.0,0.11669570711386645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507552308468685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474740962915218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069245795193872,0.05905907247575312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060732494536499926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414885339349902,0.06464150949428102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267155942303895,0.0,0.0,0.07518325181169963,0.0,0.0,0.0716497858817762,0.0,0.19484900155484486,0.0,0.05484153694171272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060636052009292674,0.0,0.061425076699493465,0.0,0.0,0.2915459845193042,0.0,0.0,0.09192178965711836,0.07244776361019979,0.0,0.06810528809944115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21470718393282975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070117271246817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577087721758063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763074580707873,0.2764089421570373,0.07274172699226471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081339267458003,0.050843641481363666,0.0,0.13245028969723024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045189184904149,0.07613865364144068,0.0,0.0654576376030033,0.047537668967368864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730215221138294,0.0,0.0697601428633415,0.0,0.0,0.0801544325022923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609489961196374,0.0439275728429708,0.0705011797121742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865033679443623,0.1387926066324386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058098973166179985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853406082825017,0.0,0.0,0.05732742724096216,0.0,0.0,0.0784960214173817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311191932009092,0.11022762358566217,0.0,0.06312986369922116,0.2352466434296579,0.15922965698993094,0.0,0.04393676224637611,0.0,0.1088735315228382,0.079967209310673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285507287305593,0.0,0.0,0.1339654715910985,0.07138358513492266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263090809818303,0.0808884950134456,0.05442751946027165,0.055002561416180734,0.0,0.061652489498954466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998392692452428,0.0,0.0,0.09742004406060532,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unspokentruth900,2019/02/21,"I lack People Skills Over the years multiple friends, family members or even coworkers have said that I don’t have emotions or that I lack basic communication skills. At first I took it as a joke but I’m really starting to feel like something is really wrong with me? I don’t ever say happy holidays to people or a simple thank you or any of the common things to say to someone. I never ask someone how’s there day or say sorry for a loss..  I even struggle saying you’re welcome sometimes. Does anyone else share this type of feeling/struggle..? ",5.470202156334231,6.374896235849057,6.345902964959572,76.53669811320755,67.77358490566039,8.698652291105121,30.23719676549865,8.841846274778883,2.517074393530997,435,16,77,7,7,144,74,106,0.107,0.669,0.224,0.9379,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,4,5,10,0,1,5,0,5,0,0,1,2,13,12,8,0,2,6,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,3,0,1,2,6,9,7,11,10,2,10,0,1,0,0,10,2,0,5,8,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103928928808564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686155742935073,0.15659132289955707,0.0,0.0,0.14287444071844946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856203149953964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374164671850394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766897969827862,0.17191200197721704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188416426322345,0.13824253766499947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407353551598476,0.0,0.0772749106631217,0.1091810346023715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999622939969904,0.0,0.0,0.11807527002515583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268926237466644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466450677626911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178711102055834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190470618336293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19581228147782292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453753318376818,0.4861428703117099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258982951957223,0.11765519461229478,0.15115174240205093,0.17107950065942773,0.1081731195818146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31954000892205275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070436675977846,0.0,0.0,0.10153276553103743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697985901555494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670944686795744,0.0,0.09841683507626472
mentalhealth,loonymoonyme,2019/02/21,"I don't agree with my diagnosis because I feel misunderstood I've been in therapy in the past and I'm back to since last year with a different therapist. 

Formerly, I was diagnosed as borderline. Now, as Asperger. The previous diagnosis was a bit erratic, but got the core of my struggles (inappropriate emotions, dissociative symptoms, fear of abandonment, cronic void, suicidal attempts, self-harm, ecc). I do have a lot in common with Asperger, and I was a weird kid when I was little, but I had a difficult childhood, so how do you know wether I was Asperger and not simply traumatized?

I know online test are not a reliable source, but considering my previous diagnosis is reasonable to have doubts since I score very high in BPD? 

I tried this test: https://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
I scored very high only in BPD, high in all others, except antisocial that's moderate.

Then I tried this: 
https://psychcentral.com/personality-disorders-test/start.php
My first result is Borderline with 83 points
My second is Avoidant with 79
My third is Schizoid with 57

I know this is a silly question. Feel free to share your results and your actual diagnosis if you can't answer to my doubts.",7.744488916256159,10.368540354679805,7.726597906403942,62.26457666256158,64.17241379310343,11.380418719211823,32.884544334975374,11.20814326018867,4.48378842364532,984,41,151,32,16,316,119,203,0.158,0.787,0.055,-0.9692,1,1,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,4,0,2,5,11,0,5,10,0,19,2,0,4,1,34,26,14,1,1,7,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,10,0,2,8,0,1,0,4,8,0,3,8,2,25,4,21,18,3,22,0,1,0,0,7,11,0,5,11,101,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.13574895589859753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696516159129583,0.0,0.0847987048153269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186947602995016,0.0,0.3504023174339821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119129081204893,0.0,0.14533783960757826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647733217470158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653472976270458,0.1406739695371143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832485769045492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125705938421378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4409244664386545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293497050744043,0.11339126446279847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942236501910668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826431117660828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579760197815086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279394925944327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150165021051136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583235379276714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302578620710568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511957018351296,0.0,0.0,0.2301424965931337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846107875249197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542547217218027,0.0,0.1521611417157112,0.0,0.0,0.1445860648730838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590816695856386,0.16151465104164786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888898649691678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295566851886628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958073675305353
mentalhealth,I_Only_Know_Maths,2019/02/21,"PMDD and how it's affecting my life Every month I think I'm going insane. I don't know what I want, I don't know how I feel, I barely even know who I am. Then I want to cry at literally everything, then I go into a deep depression where I just want to die. I swing from not eating anything to eating EVERYTHING. My anxiety skyrockets and I just can't focus on anything. I become a whole different person. 

In all honesty, I want a hysterectomy. I've never wanted kids and even if I was gonna have them, I'd adopt. I know, though, that no medical professional will give me what I want and so I just have to suffer. I don't know how I'm gonna do this for the next 30 or so years.",1.589977168949769,2.9106645958904167,4.268698630136985,86.128299086758,77.6986301369863,7.880365296803652,21.755707762557076,8.59863814320734,1.1955680365296804,525,14,119,11,12,187,86,146,0.206,0.757,0.037000000000000005,-0.9517,1,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,1,0,12,2,0,0,4,0,10,4,0,4,2,30,30,14,1,7,6,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,6,5,2,0,7,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,1,1,23,0,10,26,2,14,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,2,6,78,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959456744680164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357838264856076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582209443227391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736590445137955,0.0,0.0,0.12339082102871438,0.0,0.14868269963592765,0.14967765575560396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931843243195498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924558740289066,0.0,0.12070389572543355,0.0,0.2575081906879436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243726080903097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742937466784758,0.16283749317836507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3936635530988267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118975300996437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443207735852473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434987076109025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049201194206794,0.0,0.15236010827567126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509031558466516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917961109048832,0.14075358344309866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5069956600952618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15994622025983318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225563496925536
mentalhealth,Dnarik,2019/02/21,"Disappointed in friends Hi. I just thought that this feature of mine might be normal. I frequently get disappointed in people, when I get to know them better. For example, I start getting to know someone, we are okay acquittances (?) and we are becoming friends. But then, at some point, I just realize that they aren't all that great, I get disappointed and stop talking to them. So question is - is it normal, getting disappointed in everyone if you know them too well? It's just that I realized that people often try not to know too much about others, maybe this is why - they don't want to get disappointed in their friends? What's do you think? Thank you for your time and attention, sorry if this isn't the right place for this",4.115340632603406,6.371653423357668,4.538412408759122,82.85876216545013,73.16058394160585,8.36228710462287,28.204987834549875,9.075114841892004,2.4218958637469594,577,23,110,13,12,182,78,137,0.16,0.718,0.122,-0.6981,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,4,6,1,10,13,0,0,1,1,11,0,0,0,1,30,26,9,0,5,7,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,13,5,0,1,10,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,1,0,20,8,15,23,3,14,0,5,0,0,18,8,0,6,6,80,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455375271061248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177435485642844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142371523833124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34534051197738924,0.0,0.467063793438017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642679938162518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275359794878714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496859414690841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806061168277288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952878884532236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29196778444265986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20658934962472109,0.0,0.15566851820370586,0.0,0.14084884628039396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690898714756194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724128795719047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624334912702784,0.0,0.0,0.16678819178640822,0.10545973623609307,0.0,0.0,0.12456685578649647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197568873374488,0.0,0.1371749789884706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547025899950466,0.0,0.1182857329630998,0.08688043672343246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011581204964988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788136829143273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396479029164005,0.0,0.1344452059264488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chemaCB16,2019/02/21,"I don't know what to do or how I feel. First off, sorry if I make any mistakes English is not my native language. 

It's been some time, I don't really know how long, in which I have lost interest in doing the things I used to like, I've lost motivation and I just feel like doing nothing all the time.  I also feel down most of the time for no apparent reason and nothing seems to genuinely cheer me up. I've never been open with my feelings to anyone because I've never wanted people worrying about me but I feel like I'm at my breaking point. 

Most of the time I feel like I'm sinking and can't seem to leave the situation I'm in. Whenever I'm alone I feel like someone is pressing against my chest. I'm stoic about everything and just don't feel anything at all besides tired, unmotivated and overall really blue. 

This is the first time I express myself about how I feel and my first time seeking help. Thanks to everyone who helps me I appreciate it :)",3.770439560439563,4.840557974358976,5.272912087912085,82.0667307692308,71.8205128205128,8.238095238095239,28.287545787545792,8.634040054169528,2.0405238095238096,755,28,153,13,14,255,102,195,0.085,0.718,0.198,0.9717,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,6,9,11,0,0,6,0,13,2,1,7,4,43,37,13,0,3,6,0,10,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,15,0,0,0,8,3,0,3,4,11,23,8,22,33,5,23,0,2,1,0,4,10,0,7,17,98,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882912080755593,0.0,0.08403084070127037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145664503407367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347298259065832,0.0,0.08647024289900762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405457507529061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040653448607212,0.09443733325207378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781753581160251,0.3002709841609257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681378859516407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408631403631012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549624438390314,0.0,0.0,0.11126243266861338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566790218334479,0.0,0.0,0.0929907256732544,0.0,0.0,0.22941010505009524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014038266761538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620852668893957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20165035489385666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728478564360345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933267665205356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463131826025254,0.10803768737101786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131813419393476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811207749800655,0.0,0.0,0.08903225059680829,0.0,0.0,0.11762622102788332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967417071027206,0.0,0.0,0.06980915582458429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676309699232183,0.12077170636950164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075365652353204,0.0,0.0,0.06197772840009452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067118122297498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_cynicalcylops_,2019/02/21,"Having urges to hurt boyfriend’s dog Is there something wrong with me? consider myself to be an animal lover and will be very upset at the thought of a puppy or kitten etc being killed or hurt. I grew up around animals, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve had more disturbing thoughts. In high school I had an eating disorder and there was one time I remember one or two times when I took out my anger and frustration on my sweet and forgiving dog.  For example, one time she did something bad, and I gave her a kick as a punishment and it just felt really satisfying. Didn’t hurt her but she was still upset, as her action certainly didn’t warrant that response. And then lately (3 years later, in college now) I’ve been feeling this way kind of about my boyfriend’s dog. When he disciplines her, sometimes she gets scared and whines and I just get some sort of sick pleasure out of it (not sexual) and then sometimes I have these horrible thoughts of how I want to hit her or kick etc. these thoughts are horrifying and I feel like a terrible person... what should I think/do?",4.647097288676235,5.932710105263162,5.088019138755981,83.40080063795854,69.95693779904306,9.018309409888356,28.287400318979262,9.3871,2.3543662519936204,848,30,168,18,15,270,131,209,0.238,0.667,0.095,-0.9874,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,11,22,4,4,7,0,17,3,0,1,1,40,31,25,1,2,8,0,3,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,7,16,1,1,9,0,0,3,3,15,0,4,16,4,23,7,22,9,4,26,0,4,0,1,13,9,0,6,14,113,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290151687699967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058939324442351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535292478668388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977407186379855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28288774751318385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825349120101054,0.09060410902147527,0.12177229696391978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325221001608164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339980248010762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073077218572241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031354210628438,0.132069163803556,0.0,0.0,0.14306460362230036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061960496496749874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578205709157115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073906929932754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124761485991229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366848348197972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697437538414208,0.12835410107208026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19527281671983168,0.25086717665311264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128294829977467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126461140810166,0.0,0.4027408839194061,0.22185877580993685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140907713781749,0.0,0.0,0.12389001185279225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046442579279378,0.07480492164845391,0.10066811919466542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386636929414186,0.0,0.08167141561969367
mentalhealth,Lil_Sperm,2019/02/21,"How to stop these behaviors? I wanted to make this thread here since I'm not doing therapy or meds and I have had some hospitalization/diagnoses in the past that may be a factor.

​

I really want to stop these behaviors that are supposedly being caused by anxiety because at this point I look silly/crazy/immature. I don't remember when this started, but I've been subconsciously picking at my skin and nails and washing my hands frequently ever since I can remember. I can't stand having hands that aren't perfectly clean--I'll wash my hands thoroughly after touching a potato chip. Almost constantly I'm biting my lip to the point that I can rip the outer layer off and my lips look gross & bloody regardless of chapstick. Also most of my nails and fingers are typically surrounded by scabs and blood and the nails are so small they're almost completely gone. I also bite them but I mostly pick them with my other fingers. My nails and lips and hand skin are literally in pain every day.

​

And maybe it is anxiety or something like that. When I suddenly notice that I'm ripping my nails apart it is usually during a stressful situation. I've felt anxious to the point of psychosis before, and I was forced to take meds and talk to a counselor person for a week when I was confined to a mental hospital (and a week after I got out, so 2 weeks), but I was STILL doing these compulsive behaviors...not to mention it didn't really help the panic attacks, just kinda made them a little less frequent/bad and I wasn't psychotic.

​

So how can I address this issue? I've been on this planet for 23 years and these things have been a part of my life as long as I can remember. But I imagine life would be much better with normal adult behaviors, and ultimately no anxiety or depression or any of that crap. I would rather not see a doctor or take meds because mentally I feel fine at the moment and even if I feel suicidal tomorrow there are other ways to help yourself feel better that I prefer. (I would really like to start by ending the nail-ripping and nail-biting since I'm doing that without even noticing until it bleeds a lot of times)",6.94514492753623,7.139598454106281,7.383876811594202,72.8479891304348,64.45893719806763,10.668115942028983,32.70893719806763,10.411451182825502,3.4279922705314005,1736,64,305,39,24,570,210,414,0.165,0.7829999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9938,0,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,3,3,18,13,2,2,19,0,36,21,13,7,2,72,57,41,1,10,15,0,13,2,0,4,8,0,1,2,25,21,0,3,9,0,0,1,9,7,0,0,13,16,37,6,38,37,7,46,0,1,3,0,9,16,1,14,29,211,62,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482676840060621,0.0,0.0,0.11840910383586703,0.0,0.3208610041198069,0.26987636617221045,0.050345309120978524,0.0,0.1699062421997471,0.08363676626070626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422377801986497,0.0,0.0,0.0618148683366082,0.09026025168801816,0.0,0.06299704366771602,0.0,0.0,0.13095320400294588,0.08082539208613679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605278347034114,0.0,0.0,0.07762270140868492,0.08000389736838844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04774547376097898,0.0,0.06376493291393286,0.0751424297847784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577640987487362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557169419492018,0.0,0.0,0.0977968384066021,0.06696752648372725,0.06237640489961178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230066476862254,0.0,0.07108375645446006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921134175314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992461700650854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727172476470981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045840810274904,0.07233804325917217,0.07420100215545253,0.0,0.06551730531389616,0.12433896467389355,0.0,0.0,0.06294062224038469,0.0,0.07005227440304644,0.04941792671039859,0.0,0.07437658735241283,0.0,0.2467035395041985,0.0,0.14921668182894934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05442313053053575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725370973738874,0.0,0.16857522875071054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877684873483977,0.08686234428519432,0.0,0.08017105070733775,0.07067333934466448,0.0,0.06464318427367201,0.0,0.0,0.20995672170770865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228324038887874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515965226402985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899510310586448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837237937051359,0.08321674002078619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056994594386281835,0.0,0.0,0.1048025647210994,0.0,0.059123237463969615,0.12379061840664995,0.08480510795289947,0.0,0.0,0.08098061744165891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132793561517257,0.05950531161903725,0.0,0.0,0.08466374319643276,0.0,0.04918455838204209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043169520983443684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153742533471507,0.0,0.08733373623771219,0.058764335123631474,0.17815559024756825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136563850596582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15777379275336306,0.0,0.26987636617221045,0.04767513762938561
mentalhealth,outsidewhereas,2019/02/21,"This boy in my class always looks really nervous. What could be his problem? I'm a Junior in high school. I believe he's a Senior. It's my 4th hour Sociology class. He sits in my line of vision. He always looks very nervous sitting in the classroom. He looks at the teacher very awkwardly and stiffly.

It's a little distracting because he looks so uncomfortable. I wonder what his problem could be. I want to ask him ""Why do you always look so scared?""

What do you guys think?",1.3862903225806456,4.027334860215056,3.038951612903226,87.07842741935484,87.49462365591398,5.250537634408602,22.803763440860216,6.816661863887847,0.9171440860215044,374,14,71,5,12,123,58,93,0.194,0.772,0.034,-0.9359,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,5,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,8,16,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,11,0,7,12,0,11,0,0,5,0,13,7,0,1,2,38,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739173564317751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003549643497648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131194125163418,0.0,0.0,0.16876452633124794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391937828981617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831783877703286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826369464618478,0.0,0.0,0.1475151540832486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013114683194453,0.0,0.0,0.6289386537960847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866618313000116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596072574956874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499681342580843,0.15159771413656012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598080019855168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471885224841126,0.08835132678543485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351641713651009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244326267161865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,soysaucebokchoi,2019/02/21,"Do you feel like your mental health is being valued? Hey everyone! 💘

I’m working on a project in collaboration with an institution concerning mental health and youth (students ages 19-30) and would appreciate you taking 5 minutes of your time to fill out this survey concerning mental health.

Address all your thoughts and concerns because *your voice matters*.

[https://goo.gl/forms/pJkRz31duJWfpQvV2](https://goo.gl/forms/pJkRz31duJWfpQvV2)",11.258571428571427,16.13780264516129,8.038479262672812,53.20629032258065,62.87096774193547,8.058986175115209,34.66359447004608,8.841846274778883,3.975269124423964,372,16,41,7,7,106,51,62,0.0,0.865,0.135,0.8122,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,6,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,10,8,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,6,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,4,23,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239970787735268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943673336590288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102850399189856,0.1453164150751249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6486471614823367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937603630149268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6149694568220887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529392899311089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614851194041414,0.11861022751191967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480851781859235,0.0,0.0,0.14449689678876187,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darkmatt3r4,2019/02/21,"I don't belong anywhere Growing up no one wanted me. I lived with my mom till I was 7. In that time I saw her get beat by whatever dude she was with at the time. A lot of times I thought she was dead. They were also smoking crack the whole time. One dude even drug her out of the house by her hair with a knife to her throat. Saying he was going to kill her in front of me. I couldn't stop him or stand there and watch so I ran down the road in the middle of the night knocked on the neighbors door to call the police. I was 6 yrs old. Anyways she was fine and we ended up in a women's shelter. 

After that she left me at my aunt's house while she went back to the guy who could've killed her. While I was at my aunt's, I got sexually abused by an older cousin, he was 30 years old and I was 10 years old. 


I ended up living with my papow for a couple months till he realized he couldn't take care of me. Also my nana and some family friends. I got tossed around a lot until I was 18. 

I never had friends in school and got made fun of for being poor and nasty. I thought maybe it's the people I'm around. Now I'm 25 and can't keep a job because being around anyone makes me feel terrible about myself. I hate my life and myself so much. 

There's no hope anymore and I'm tired. I just wish I could check out now. I'm just scared to do anything cause I hate pain. I don't know what do do

Sorry Its probably hard to read. My mind is scattered",0.34576235541535283,1.9878906687697155,2.1177507886435336,98.69973869610938,82.37539432176656,4.9837644584647744,16.875814931650893,5.6839178017228535,-0.7707769926393273,1110,20,276,6,30,365,168,317,0.16899999999999998,0.773,0.058,-0.9878,1,0,1,0,1,1,25.0,1,0,1,1,17,13,4,1,17,0,24,6,2,3,1,43,50,19,3,6,3,4,3,0,3,0,4,1,2,2,6,19,0,2,5,1,2,5,8,7,0,2,21,6,49,6,44,24,5,52,0,0,2,0,30,21,0,5,25,175,55,3,0.0,0.11541460075316247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557970507768674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660427676541536,0.06811114766838004,0.0,0.08015990742920821,0.2601459336183537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490206914601355,0.0,0.059380066902893935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946622475305217,0.0,0.09931571111648392,0.10006662481353693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555474852090601,0.10778201279134396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296436053329666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255221497448295,0.0,0.0,0.06433820755949023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182922361133004,0.0,0.049253286007144965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051703056048374,0.0,0.05089256316039194,0.0,0.05536019401219972,0.0,0.23372237738918075,0.0,0.0,0.09645094681759632,0.0,0.0,0.08725998429971564,0.19234388191951854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674984044967183,0.0,0.22479549843746066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666412583738228,0.08658224317566804,0.21553886620380588,0.0,0.05353383978028085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583595598351887,0.0,0.06880337260586712,0.0,0.0,0.1720291513351039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562853702035268,0.0,0.09217144120383557,0.06502175075710137,0.0,0.09786116591521728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835605827684918,0.11408509774672165,0.07775151664450941,0.0,0.07160735919811613,0.0,0.07512838841373011,0.0,0.0,0.0914124323028853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066453746982001,0.0,0.13201470721692013,0.0,0.10365081995212083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067531641320228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050241636006334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743608983168983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746412653966356,0.097524132369575,0.09858384658527483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904221698388362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143889547688105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732399936999906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546648887036034,0.227201586188624,0.1119581543670889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057454782184741635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029979503742064,0.0,0.1087544841457783,0.11201638146510827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254573440288067
mentalhealth,Dicokk,2019/02/21,"Loneliness/internalizing feelings Hey Reddit. I want to talk about loneliness. I don't think that many people realize how being lonely can be damaging towards your mental health. Being lonely sometimes is normal it's fine. However, when your loneliness start to take a toll on you that can be dangerous. So I want to share my story about loneliness and internalizing my feelings. I've been feeling lonely for the longest time and lately I've been getting better and I've been feeling less and less lonely. I have friends and I do socialize sometimes, but loneliness can come at any time. So this happened a few months ago. 

If you're with friends and people who care about you, sometimes you feel alone. Whenever I'm socializing I feel like I keep getting left out. I always end up feeling alone and that people don't get me. For a while I found someone who understood me and whenever I was with her, I felt like I wasn't alone. Everything in life became much better. I was more confident and I made new friends. Then one day the only person that really understood me and made me feel comfortable left me. She stopped talking to me one day and just left me (it's complicated) I felt lonely for the first time in a long time. After this feeling of loneliness I kept pushing people away. I started being very self destructive. I would feel lonely but I wouldn't even try to fill that loneliness by trying to talk to people about it. I internalized all my loneliness and put on a fake face whenever I do go out. I'd also just push people away which I regret. Then all this loneliness and sadness was building up. I became easily agitated and I would just hate everything in life. I would also sometimes feel emotionally uncontrollable, I'd get very severe mood swings.  This is very unhealthy and I began hating myself. I realized that this loneliness was taking a toll on me. Then one day a friend of mine called me out. He said that I was different and that something was wrong. He was right. Internalizing my feelings did take a toll on me. I decided to talk to people again. I became more honest with my feelings. Then I got advice and I felt comfort. Then for the first time in a long time I felt like people understood me again.

So in conclusion, you may think people don't get you. You may think that people can't help you. While that is true to some extent, don't internalize everything. Talk to someone. They can help you. So if you need someone to talk to or vent I'm free. ",2.9881779661016914,5.655683021186441,4.191600000000001,81.82458644067799,78.95762711864407,7.420067796610169,24.90610169491525,8.426882951386363,2.0057832542372886,1974,73,356,43,50,644,190,472,0.203,0.66,0.13699999999999998,-0.9891,2,15,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,11,1,5,20,34,4,1,13,0,38,4,1,3,3,81,90,37,0,11,8,0,17,3,4,6,3,1,0,2,21,24,0,3,28,0,1,6,7,16,0,5,26,18,65,18,46,53,10,61,0,9,0,0,38,22,0,6,36,240,86,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056064079421087785,0.050857564773992114,0.0,0.0,0.1782628917855564,0.0,0.09176208568334997,0.04773880248285347,0.0,0.0,0.039015501508378125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078073515973215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014832368200698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058584088677396964,0.0,0.058495438442065686,0.0,0.0,0.04942162520754181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100221466890244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05994241108411449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453672764014595,0.050815310868809166,0.0,0.0,0.0378942225500952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468903904681858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3771226410711244,0.04098717141655072,0.22034771108512494,0.0,0.0,0.09760262406956496,0.0,0.06290636243573693,0.17730446868183294,0.0,0.14987471579476724,0.0,0.032606309561468386,0.0,0.045886304678981485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05073461671918776,0.0,0.0,0.11328761157773885,0.0,0.06098465059342215,0.0,0.0,0.0769116163051147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05099562011813098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471906733190487,0.0,0.1870072895394161,0.0,0.08104827326167154,0.08408842110124179,0.0,0.0,0.10154632353758017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857514494825116,0.0,0.05816705907491565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05781833279623925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579445693463171,0.0,0.042175641949132335,0.04254123706420497,0.0,0.05541105051747537,0.0,0.0,0.05621320598516306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663197231298345,0.043634633393554084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977510630826473,0.050095754650652836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767555498631105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036754513160764106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04899609553436686,0.054574713158466286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05985238913539321,0.0648149835044062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169687792195745,0.1458354743270282,0.04416841850953678,0.2269728400470245,0.0,0.08121758895416385,0.0,0.0,0.047966266803148784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294117162777081,0.2766847139204457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028660600019036,0.0,0.0,0.20072740127564506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790479042606017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201581530149554,0.06767998006978035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226806740543718,0.06272819867909936,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HamOwl,2019/02/21,"I feel like I am so sensative and get triggered by trivial things.  I went through what I can only describe as an emotional upheaval, or a breakdown or maybe some would call it a traumatic experience last November. My emotions were all over the place for a few months. I feel like I am 98% back to normal aside from little things (for lack of a better word) triggering me.  My girl seems to trigger me the most. But she has been off too, dealing with her own big issues (mostly family). 

I just feel like the things I normally would not be sensative about, Im REALLY sensative. But it is also hard because I don't know what I should be reacting to honestly vs what is setting me off.  Anyone have any insight?",3.843550099535502,5.600490700729932,4.770922362309225,83.04035169210357,72.64963503649635,7.901526211015263,29.242866622428664,8.575989854853784,2.2910496350364964,554,23,105,10,11,180,98,137,0.061,0.8270000000000001,0.112,0.7759,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,8,0,15,0,0,4,1,30,22,8,0,6,7,0,4,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,17,5,15,14,7,11,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,6,6,81,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234860455435023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500785722747268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797093065700847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187360129828661,0.0,0.09413027537278278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656799004230818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767552336387816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15919563363396907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473933805776909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510480207928802,0.14556922140116474,0.0,0.23423139868377446,0.33094346179373435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067574245998302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383259868095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679527292767296,0.16116969750478918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486273834148683,0.12586926854597516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263188880344565,0.15476492997097147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551311572444868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325300482345007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30258887263673656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743997068907375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613313657813553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892254414881728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405741013371353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077604552174048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143144745641302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193847277657421,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stairapprentice,2019/02/21,"The Globe and Mail just released a free eBook on mental health and work, un-paywalling some of their best articles You can find the link here: [https://www.theglobeandmail.com/files/editorial/Investing/eBook\_MICROSKILLS2018-FINAL.pdf](https://www.theglobeandmail.com/files/editorial/Investing/eBook_MICROSKILLS2018-FINAL.pdf)

​

From one of the first articles on the importance of mental health at work: ""A study on mental health in the workplace by The Globe and Mail and Morneau Shepell has found that stress or trauma are the leading causes of mental health issues, and that most people don’t let their employer know they are suffering from a mental issue. The online survey, which had 1,575 voluntary participants, found that 34 per cent of participants said stress was a main reason for their mental health issue, and that 55 per cent of respondents did not tell their workplace about their mental health issue. Of those respondents, 70 per cent reported that their work experience affected their mental health and 72 per cent said they felt their mental health issue will hurt their career potential.""",21.937621951219505,16.96287703048781,15.765414634146342,40.45275609756098,40.89024390243903,17.022439024390245,46.824390243902435,13.348371206891418,5.903306341463416,939,23,121,16,5,258,90,164,0.093,0.85,0.057,-0.6705,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,11,6,3,7,0,2,12,0,10,8,0,4,0,22,16,8,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,7,7,0,0,7,0,5,1,2,5,0,2,8,3,12,3,17,6,4,7,0,2,0,0,19,5,0,3,1,75,19,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304422820862475,0.08191672043111714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707479839339068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925387380056254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594489970282824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472906413329227,0.14769988460186512,0.06161617629707487,0.057343246107383575,0.0,0.14783434594142505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5732727554962326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216925444023083,0.0,0.0,0.35181922547870503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03704957363268205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893650303881654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6114470439280925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04568221367741188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04673713912356568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931394652197155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825438814658482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154447529092832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058923765230373334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472369781082362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191672043111714,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealthwarrior1,2019/02/21,"I'm bipolar & ended up homeless on the streets for 13 days with my puppy I thought that sharing part of my mental health story here might help someone...

[https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/i-love-you-cindy-ill-always-love-you-please-forgive-me-i-was-no-longer-going-be-her-momma-and-watch-her-grow-up-do-it-now-the-voice-says/](https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/i-love-you-cindy-ill-always-love-you-please-forgive-me-i-was-no-longer-going-be-her-momma-and-watch-her-grow-up-do-it-now-the-voice-says/)",54.234731182795706,69.34400322580646,18.510967741935485,-19.24688172043011,-31.64516129032259,5.423655913978496,32.913978494623656,6.42735559955562,2.0849913978494627,464,7,22,1,3,79,29,31,0.0,0.831,0.16899999999999998,0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,81.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,5,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295418002904396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662716082161036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18763819274187715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251890114750515,0.0,0.0,0.1420000826287045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7648196273444031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21349721742810188,0.2247417349463312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294153178385871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684733946577275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950170511288702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818700473511367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sreoch,2019/02/21,"I woke up this morning feeling amazing I guess I just wanted to make a post to share this, I woke up this morning with a weird feeling in my head. It was as if all of my anxiety was just gone, all of my brain fog, all of my depression, everything had just vanished. It lasted the whole day (still continuing). It feels so amazing just to feel the way myself did years ago. I just wanted to share this so everyone knows that behind every obstacle you're facing in your own head, you're happy, carefree self is still there. Hope everyone has a great day. ",2.6871559633027537,4.7883962935779865,3.8169633027522964,87.11094954128441,76.88990825688073,6.928807339449541,24.661467889908266,7.908726449838941,1.3950029357798162,432,15,86,7,10,140,67,109,0.078,0.691,0.231,0.9571,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,10,9,0,0,5,0,6,4,4,1,3,20,19,4,0,4,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,7,4,11,7,14,12,5,15,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,3,8,60,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550240546701067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378573003065294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19522830676468286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22557133793574535,0.0,0.15062727519246172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734725619506253,0.3342181848457385,0.1571744023570419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537062847010611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928101534751761,0.19265436873664207,0.0,0.0,0.18616719858196326,0.0,0.0,0.3589627384512654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736992056017824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961116359409916,0.14255374680427402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673638324210706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749046538482426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18244208283851274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27932506952606595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20630214948425613,0.13881472580103973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952516656766994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261951902674773
mentalhealth,fatheradvicethrowawa,2019/02/21,"Father’s Well Being TL;DR: I need advice for how to help my father through his issues. I’m in my mid 20s living my own life, trying to get through school while working full time+ some. I feel so guilty for not having the time to take care of him. I know he needs a lot of help. I don’t know what to do and it hurts to see him live like this. The biggest problem is I don’t think he even realizes his life is falling apart and he’s in deep denial. 

Background:

My father is not well, mentally. He lives by himself (with his emotional support dog) and the state of his house is a wreck. He’s not a hoarder, however, he just doesn’t take care of any damages, cleaning, trash... To the point that the roof has visible holes and when it rains trash cans need to be placed and emptied regularly throughout the entry way. There was a fire in the kitchen and the fire dpt cut out the stove and half the cabinets about 4 years ago. This is still being hidden by blankets. 

Besides my mother who wants nothing to do with him, I’m the only one who lives in town so I’ve tried helping him and it seems to make him worse. He started relying on me more and more to the point where I was doing almost everything (including his work) for him. So I stopped because I was stressed and he still wasn’t happy with how much I was helping him. 

He doesn’t take care of himself regularly. When we moved out, he bought new dishes, clothes, towels, etc. instead of washing existing. The dishes pile up in the kitchen, on the table, in the room he stays in and trash is everywhere. 

He will go through phases of “tidying” things. I’ve gone over to literally seeing him soaking months worth of dishes in trash cans outside with dozens of trash bags lined up by the fence full of soda cans and food wrappers. 

The hardest part is every year he seems to slip further and further from realty. He has a really hard time realizing he doesn’t make as much money as he used to and is in mountains of debt. He doesn’t realize his house is in shambles and the insurance company isn’t going to fix it for him, and at this point it’s not worth salvaging. Foundation issues, roof issues, outdated everything. He’s impossible to reason with. He still makes money but when he does he spends it. Frivolously. Every time I see him in his house I cry and cannot sleep because I think of the way he’s living and how he thinks it’s completely normal. It’s not, he’s not living in reality. How can I convince him to see a therapist? He’s threatened suicide before and been forced into psych hold because he texted everyone in the family a long suicide note, then blamed us for calling the cops. He was able to talk himself out of staying there after just 10 hours which is mind boggling to me, legally it’s 72 where I live. (TX, US) 

I think it’s a psychotic depression caused by my mother and I leaving very abruptly. He had a lot of issues which warranted us leaving. As his daughter, my main issue growing up was his usage of fentanyl patches which gave him serious, uncontrollable rage issues spurred by non existent /trivial problems. I wasn’t the type of person to just sit there and be yelled at for no reason, I could never understand why he was screaming at me for these idiotic things, so I screamed back and it caused horrible, horrible fights. 

He still hasn’t come to terms with why we left, and it caused a lot of damage. Whether we were right to leave or not, I can see he’s hurt. I want to be there for him. He’s stopped using the fentanyl patches and no longer has rage issues. Sometimes I feel like he’s trying, but I just don’t know how to help him. I want to be there for him and have a good relationship but he needs serious help. How can I introduce that to him? 
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mentalhealth,fockoffpeppa,2019/02/21,"No sex drive and extreme aversion to affection of any kind I need to know what is wrong with me because I am truly at the end of my rope. I have never had much of a sex drive at all, it's like I missed that part of puberty. I do find people attractive and there are instances where I feel like having sex, albeit rare. I don't identity as asexual. I don't enjoy being touched, kissing and hugging give me a skin crawling feeling and I hate it. Showing affection makes me extremely uncomfortable - whether with a romantic partner or family member or friend. I have been this way since I was a child, as long as I can remember. As far as I know I haven't had any sexual trauma. I did have childhood cancer, but I'm not sure if it's related. I have struggled with depression for most of my life with varying severity. I have been married to my husband for 4 years, together for almost 8. In the beginning of our relationship I was able to push through my discomfort and was a lot better at showing affection, although it was uncomfortable. I guess over the years I have gotten worse and worse and my husband is completely starved for affection. We couldn't be more opposite in that he is extremely touchy/feely and has a high sex drive. He struggles with depression too and I am adding to it because he thinks he's doing something wrong. But I don't know how to change. I still love my husband, and I don't want our marriage to suffer more. But I just don't know what to do. Clearly I'm not normal but I don't know why I'm like this, and I don't know how to get better. I see a therapist but I don't know how to bring this up. Any advice is appreciated! I guess I should add that I am 26 years old, my husband is 30. We also have a child. ",3.026259079903149,4.49804648870057,4.640714285714289,84.30927966101694,74.22598870056498,8.22098466505246,28.17958030669895,8.841846274778883,2.1795919289749803,1363,55,282,28,28,459,169,354,0.18,0.669,0.151,-0.9202,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,4,0,0,2,10,24,1,3,11,0,44,10,1,8,4,65,71,30,0,6,12,4,4,3,2,1,2,0,0,3,13,19,0,0,12,2,0,5,14,11,0,0,10,5,46,13,38,57,7,26,0,4,1,7,20,10,0,8,13,193,59,0,0.10860967274885748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613211520906857,0.0,0.0,0.10875689862325676,0.0,0.0,0.08685511605766734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22157490556079296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241489685833466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19211285894985367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489463263961305,0.0,0.11387517549168047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709070398255692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961959329967082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238753345428284,0.0,0.10983262779470372,0.07759077191302252,0.0,0.0,0.0992672732623328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391156374782525,0.0,0.05674407131234766,0.10418829472131796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23929159859128435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072295663094962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475208234398625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310026086119852,0.4178232502811241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671422383213454,0.1591836000558467,0.0,0.0,0.09611614263565396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233605985242667,0.0980244700605795,0.0,0.07249779992779286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984060625952374,0.08053269615511144,0.08376647519785924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064144192768888,0.0,0.0,0.11396758143645858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176136916516672,0.0,0.07529627185091832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166061424969174,0.12303358703409305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865478474391055,0.0,0.0,0.12269801569195278,0.0,0.08984304363924484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361303227059319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673582495407127,0.0,0.0,0.22708482329052454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236333122311796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610420115121931,0.0,0.06959269283109337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406079896686567,0.08620930286390081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800333650190464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22136507063003008,0.0,0.2374952546376206,0.0,0.2098232050268045
mentalhealth,juljul__,2019/02/21,"Lately been struggling to socialise with my friends Lately I've been struggling to pay attention in social situations, I can concentrate on what my friends are saying to me and I can never remember what I wanted to tell them. My responses are slow and I feel really dizzy and my head feels heavy. I'm an introvert but I've never felt so exhausted from hanging out with my friends. I'm struggling to hold actual conversations and my mind keeps drifting elsewhere. I have a lot of stressful things coming up in my life and I'm thinking maybe this is my brains way of dealing with stress.

I really miss the way I used to engage with my friends, does anyone know how to combat this? or has anyone else experienced this as well? or is it just me? ",3.6346153846153832,5.933439734265736,4.5433566433566455,82.08118881118884,74.73426573426573,7.756643356643357,27.08391608391609,8.617729084823388,2.181542657342657,594,23,109,12,13,192,87,143,0.179,0.708,0.113,-0.8637,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,4,13,0,5,3,0,10,4,2,2,2,31,23,11,0,1,4,0,3,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,7,11,0,2,7,0,1,3,2,7,1,0,3,5,19,6,20,20,1,15,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,3,5,74,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.12617642300782309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808166603964156,0.13248131851566025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14433958848479628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137897808192518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330079979965934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131497542114011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801208170918933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075414222532472,0.0,0.12414657945934646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3995819734420165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326972886464745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149262095602785,0.0,0.0,0.0710589269057415,0.0,0.2917080752230248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913271651152829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992473315886997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989745297966715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305543556097745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994455351138049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656635166712354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646969175332264,0.0,0.0,0.10282314379449106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453366302322096,0.0,0.13180326468683656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29622137597013565,0.4055117574521027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301235388098226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590000008315446,0.08284908627779286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111672158341336,0.0,0.0,0.07626344727759853,0.20526183656248898,0.0,0.0,0.11625463872593138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Froz3nnnnn,2019/02/21,"It's my birthday and never felt more shit Been depressed since I was 13 and on my 19th I've never felt more shit. Kinda shit ngl, when you hope you can have a good time but you can't do shit. ",2.0573643410852718,2.5093345813953505,3.172093023255816,97.84945736434112,75.27906976744184,5.7333333333333325,18.984496124031008,3.1291,-0.7649782945736434,149,2,38,0,3,48,32,43,0.048,0.6509999999999999,0.301,0.8762,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,0,6,4,4,0,2,9,9,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,2,6,2,1,5,2,5,0,1,0,0,3,1,4,2,4,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768756774267798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738688862717133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329805552395046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933726628791592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003162890576537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7993924132964332,0.1610508822273591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135262226983136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Goffee-crisp,2019/02/21,"I feel like I have two minds Hello everyone, first time posting here and thought I’d give it a shot.

I’m going through a downer period at the moment and though they’re less frequent than they used to be thanks to medication and self management it still frustrates me when it happens.

I’ll go from feeling fine, happy and normal for a good while to suddenly feeling terrible and not wanting to do anything, this affects my work and other aspects of my life. I hate how it happens and seems beyond my control

How do you guys deal and cope with these downer periods and any tips to help prevent them in future?",6.437300242130752,6.710861059322037,6.5842857142857145,77.88093220338986,65.52542372881356,9.115738498789346,34.65375302663439,8.841846274778883,2.96097191283293,487,21,88,7,7,156,88,118,0.077,0.76,0.163,0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,2,3,7,8,2,0,4,0,4,2,0,5,0,25,19,14,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,7,10,0,2,5,0,0,2,1,3,0,2,1,3,10,5,14,17,1,17,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,12,59,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404325399924705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010570812810395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045853550608452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880539698629633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429804120388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27669191285934425,0.13031184832116305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515559995882974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498175264688035,0.20733260281392368,0.15299463213640987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806119559764616,0.3226044369518737,0.19417601746731336,0.0,0.1800894956442874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222638026936459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288397067539813,0.08911501816628048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837562163572034,0.0,0.0,0.1841794264716922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872047567124658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469582063809933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660568020172508,0.19029064912542712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567074649155395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16793618201276214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17921429666495087,0.14481106195083648,0.10636319351039174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17818547753989364,0.0,0.0,0.15754138557919833,0.0,0.0,0.10758858189554428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279472431521433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bayern6670,2019/02/21,Condition? Sometimes I actually feel like a superhero. Should I be concerned about this?,5.126190476190477,8.09829828571429,5.61571428571429,63.112619047619035,101.85714285714286,10.438095238095238,40.38095238095238,8.841846274778883,6.581695238095239,72,5,9,3,3,23,13,14,0.0,0.778,0.222,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.5695981236641627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951316589005077,0.4169888982873903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28516189222053395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5772852287761854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,norophilia,2019/02/21,"Why am i like that Why do I feel that I need others appreciation and approval to get my own self approval.

Why do I tell others how I feel knowing that they can't help me, I me I can't help it myself how on earth are they going to do it.

Why can't I just feel better since I am the one and only person who can control it. 

Why am I writing this right now, do I really need that much assurance from others do I can feel better about myself.

Why am I like that.",2.2926025459688835,2.757179108910893,4.524271570014147,88.32465346534653,74.74257425742574,6.9595473833097605,21.359264497878357,6.868970318607317,0.3238927864214989,354,7,83,3,7,124,50,101,0.092,0.741,0.16699999999999998,0.8211,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,5,5,5,0,0,1,0,15,0,0,3,1,15,24,4,0,2,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,13,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,4,20,5,5,24,2,4,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,3,63,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25101861675184833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916596506688935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870191454539085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414297183205078,0.0,0.08065165223310752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19024075445375133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779909230034606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866171275232245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432137990891044,0.210451357630669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616299622945892,0.10793019280951648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391176544597528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091222690660196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211917604587666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804478454601805,0.0,0.0,0.11739077052091496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403702354896334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7683190630834998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Glome2850,2019/02/21,"Medication to stop talking to yourself? I've been having a new mental health issue that is really disrupting my life recently. I am going to see my psychiatrist in a few months, but I am looking for advice in the mean time.

Basically I have been catching myself acting out past conversations or how I imagine conversations will go ""out loud."" I don't actually say the words thankfully but I do arm motions and move my mouth like I am. I never had this problem before, but now I can't control it even though I know I am doing it. It's like an automatic impulse.

I have tried googling medications or treatment, but all I can find are these bogus unscientific articles about how talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence or good health.

If that was the case, why do I never see anyone else doing it? I am worried that my co-workers will see me (if they haven't already, which is very possible since people walk by all the time without me noticing).

Note: I am not hallucinating that I am talking to someone who isn't there, I am just imagining what they would say if they were. For example, what a manager would say if I ask them about a problem at work.

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated!",6.169740259740259,6.561779025974027,7.446731601731602,71.061525974026,66.0995670995671,10.236363636363636,34.68181818181819,10.125756701596842,3.552111688311689,949,42,173,21,14,325,137,231,0.056,0.825,0.119,0.9478,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,4,2,9,7,0,0,10,0,34,7,2,3,4,37,44,16,0,8,15,0,0,2,0,4,5,4,0,0,14,3,0,2,5,0,0,7,8,2,0,0,5,8,30,5,17,35,3,22,0,0,4,0,15,5,0,8,12,131,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.11235035144346574,0.0,0.0,0.22500756557833024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704890738888872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829240312930033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050162961550884,0.11796437353439085,0.0,0.0,0.10763108441352867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796721928819686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912817566743262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961764095929028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604233275141638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105226808371609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086215653011934,0.09656564972018164,0.0,0.12693132086184974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447557849761041,0.0,0.0,0.0771692665259351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016589293825786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327248166292221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131978108462692,0.11249348436460244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668027187533833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541040986187368,0.0,0.2319628888265126,0.11602404286857998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189573233202332,0.12236505602674785,0.0,0.0,0.17759083218325789,0.11119334975101154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107636041373588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990468965381077,0.07981670200827035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979186783199584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22032787791854447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375527802931835,0.0,0.11367706569354487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746681844305453,0.0,0.0,0.27523130609367924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523679281050852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754934410802997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625390298656736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27761159442385924,0.0,0.10599631046617453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311472013715095,0.0,0.1342665522864455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078165767732487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499437430814796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388699085761394,0.0,0.0,0.11098128975755504,0.0,0.16763214047245442,0.11692018590805475,0.0,0.1635702127455047,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PlatypuSofDooM42,2019/02/21,"Good morning Reddit! Time for game giveaway! Morning!  

I am having a good day and would like to try and make someone day better also!  I have had my battles with depression and suicide so I know how important good days are. 

So please check this list and let me know if there is anything you would like. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PpaRI4w12oYRYvYFw5tbR9AevCAGT7Tc7uY7nAUQfB8/edit?usp=drivesdk

A little about me is I'm a 35m prior military and currently a private security contractor so most of my days are slow and can chat.  

So if you want to just say hi that's cool too!",4.928601398601399,8.466011494949496,4.543636363636363,76.05083916083917,80.51515151515152,5.874436674436676,22.766899766899773,7.321109707123232,1.1552620046620046,474,15,78,7,13,144,70,99,0.094,0.655,0.251,0.9311,1,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,2,0,1,10,10,1,0,4,1,12,0,0,2,0,18,17,14,1,5,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,7,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,9,8,6,13,1,9,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,3,10,51,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276168823375672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719633621416002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894505468801635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4927782706544476,0.0,0.16452854529744446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4806651778708865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20996340307323447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953348089440685,0.0,0.18664918918929255,0.19145606191928752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750989018136372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20968680250644495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190981714667218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185387168468152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20894906614186587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138753173598248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296926417741761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126708044841512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713956968878038,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1a1d0,2019/02/21,"Frustrated at work Well, the labels on the box so I guess that's clear.
This might be long so grab some coffee.
It's been a long time coming and I don't know what to do but maybe if I type this out it will make sense?
Been with this company for awhile. Never been disciplined. Boss loves me. Mid year and end of year reviews are stellar.
About two years ago during my annual and mid year review I asked me boss for a project. I am kinda bored I could really stand to take on a project. He said there were none.
This happened for The next year as well. 
Right around that time this new girl shows up in my department, same position, different division? its hard to explain to outside people.
She gets this project I could easily have done.
And its still ongoing.
Fine.
I take on interns I help manage them. We were supposed to get these stupid hoodies. I didn't get one but these two girls got them. I asked HR why I didn't get one. They said that the two girls got them because of their contributions to the intern work. However they didn't work with the interns at all and their boss lied to HR just so they could get hoodies.
I asked to be moved to another team and was denied. I asked to move to another position and I wasn't even interviewed.
I can keep trying for different positions I guess?
One of those two girls who got hoodies caused a major outage, twice, was almost fired. But she got re-hired.
I am frustrated. 
I am bored with my job. 
I feel like Im going nowhere. I have no idea what to do.",0.9608161804188278,3.431698364238412,2.089269733309468,94.62126633255771,86.88079470198677,5.913871487381423,19.08931448004296,7.329194593529364,0.43815722212278496,1174,33,254,20,37,371,161,302,0.097,0.8190000000000001,0.084,-0.7234,4,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,1,0,8,4,11,10,3,0,10,0,29,1,0,5,3,43,57,15,0,4,5,0,4,1,0,2,0,2,0,4,19,14,0,2,4,2,0,5,8,5,2,8,18,6,37,5,33,32,5,34,0,0,0,1,28,12,0,7,17,162,56,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849036753184811,0.0,0.08866566830608404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856956484500987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078824392576775,0.3311128833549752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397660043753208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096076354251262,0.0,0.076274228697339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208946611467655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502269613755856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061293235207032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842515551152815,0.0,0.0,0.058483560282690784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0447713362026136,0.06325702307754041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313072121864233,0.0,0.05032252788174494,0.0,0.2832721491826873,0.0,0.19508601088952307,0.0,0.07830061723507703,0.0,0.07931950151611446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05935027618884424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995725001515668,0.09564448596406944,0.0,0.08786788511875894,0.07870343346902678,0.0,0.0,0.04866236820568914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043258927206731565,0.0,0.0,0.15672021048181586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991589736646297,0.0,0.05910490242633616,0.0,0.08895599696098158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939329315399179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18822000513922546,0.0,0.0,0.06829185641631523,0.08551793110366512,0.09416929292039504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000245221123698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061386398004462835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056724604476496875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561749295720599,0.1684543612258752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071266267230339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315060363460435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326334977469677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060116677432420836,0.0,0.3459848973070881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592263289538514,0.0,0.07989866792053989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933868419979792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28510244614876284
mentalhealth,xproII,2019/02/21,"Does ADHD cause a kind of Out-Of-Body floating experience during daytime? I really don’t know if this is the right subreddit for this, but let me ask.

Obviously I don’t expect any cookiecutter medical expert answers from anyone, but I experience some things for a while and I’d like some advice where to put them.

- Short span attention
- Frequent quick disinterest in things
- TERRIBLE short term memory
- Overall carelessness that has effect on my work tasks
- Can’t get myself to start anything
- Out-of-body floating during the day, like I’m high or something, feeling all buzzy 
- Also I feel very anxious (better word: embarrased) about random things, like I am the cringiest person alive (which I’m surely not)

Overall I have no problem in my social life, I am not depressed or anything.

Do anyone else experience these things? 
What is the closest “diagnose” you can think of?

I will get to a professional as the healthcare here allows it, I just want to make some research.

Thank you!
",4.8776685393258425,7.437435910112362,5.388075842696633,76.24761938202249,71.92134831460675,8.045505617977529,29.10252808988764,8.841846274778883,2.7230213483146057,784,32,127,16,16,251,122,178,0.094,0.757,0.14800000000000002,0.848,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,1,3,6,11,0,0,8,0,13,3,0,4,3,30,26,9,0,4,8,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,11,1,0,0,7,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,0,2,16,7,14,24,5,17,0,1,0,0,6,10,0,7,9,81,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932253203992913,0.1295451820498185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601561835909984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901516674822402,0.0,0.0,0.1497655704746319,0.0,0.18539106873217956,0.13583291037905607,0.21818647044575548,0.0,0.12393439650557928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724676945213368,0.0,0.2945092051724923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618518519851622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549622893244321,0.0,0.11418174065175946,0.1345550451877583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601228456518335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074463614222944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890346295193508,0.0,0.0,0.1340620389468983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852397144682282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006674010561188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380505217886584,0.07285661826258567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556108731643324,0.09363761452005093,0.19429998552236652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849103470100968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354961902990506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575439609734962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685091268929696,0.0,0.1332687586718072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492728584378942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321345469809732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513770273774706,0.0,0.10205832104537027,0.0,0.0,0.09383323025506607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249449928742362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205199679092105,0.0,0.0,0.3522925992460373,0.08494505215863972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938355323144557,0.07819280571268915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651202660270126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kelekona,2019/02/21,"A bit of a shower-thought about rejection-sensitive dysphoria. I noticed that it's common in people with ADHD and Autism, so I'm wondering if it's caused by the way we treat these people as children.

""You need to pay attention.  You're lazy."" The person with ADHD is trying harder than other people and getting criticized for not being enough.

""You're being bad.  Stop being weird.  You insulted them on purpose.""  The person with autism is also trying hard and getting criticized because of who they are.

I think it also pops up in ""normal"" abuse survivors?",4.0338235294117615,6.720191009803924,5.0468235294117685,77.04670588235294,75.17647058823529,7.217254901960787,25.88627450980392,8.238735603445708,2.2025968627450982,441,16,68,8,10,144,72,102,0.213,0.7609999999999999,0.025,-0.9517,1,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,1,2,2,0,4,4,1,0,5,0,6,0,0,1,0,16,12,8,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,7,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,7,1,15,9,2,7,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,2,2,49,14,1,0.0,0.2108124441742172,0.0,0.0,0.4276633870853629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845736748650156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856023459335801,0.10846164139838783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942483990102675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277834537003373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838444481156695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859173026656936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938616473811107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192939191072947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17432906503829093,0.0,0.20256918928842205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700531026294019,0.3107151039540764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14875355885905506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400737942453187,0.0,0.14125285277065125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415992654922344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122886041187707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19295245136580536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Girkoplesa,2019/02/21,"This might not be the right place for this but whatever. Why do I get headaches when I fail at stuff? Not even just fail, even if I'm just worse than others I get a headache. These headaches usually last from 30 minutes to 1.5hrs, does anyone know why this happens?",2.700576923076924,4.986743288461542,2.0813846153846143,98.66361538461538,77.65384615384616,5.6984615384615385,23.861538461538462,6.742157984588678,0.4613799999999997,209,7,46,2,5,60,40,52,0.242,0.758,0.0,-0.9433,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,8,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,6,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,28,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770032231029555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22152683436157775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343966588888799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645131676599851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22385320477912365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912057732931013,0.2063450420097208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26854434233104496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644801851492437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21618243551023167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897877644474399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788008595223623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4568437262224659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579739816311175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QplayerZ,2019/02/21,"Why do I get headaches when I fail at stuff? I don't mean like a little headache either, like a major headache that can last multiple hours. ",4.241785714285712,5.395228178571434,3.7771428571428594,92.91785714285713,70.78571428571428,7.028571428571429,28.285714285714285,7.1686216300943375,1.2068714285714286,111,4,24,1,2,33,22,28,0.289,0.711,0.0,-0.7731,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,5,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,13,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950104342553355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675811813104168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30425280226862905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647072696205285,0.3740997638305725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065843317153704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272878986457132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33680475806023885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,humanballz,2019/02/21,"My girlfriend harming herself Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship months . I knew things or two about her and she knew about me but around lastweek i was on a videocall with her i saw a bandage around her arm and i asked her what happened .
She didnt want to tell me at first but i squeezed out little by little and she talked to me then i realized all the bandages she had on her arms were from her harming herself.
For me it hurts to see a person that i love soo much hurt themselve for a reason that we already know ""i think that im not good enough"" it makes me angry and sad at the same time i love her soo much and why cant she see herself the way i see. 
I want to have a healthy relationship with her, im not saying we not having a healthy relationship but i just want her to be happy. Please help me out on trying to get her out of her shadows. 
I just her to be happy and see herself the way i see",2.3641538461538474,3.5128581333333377,3.5189743589743614,92.98769230769234,75.35897435897436,6.02051282051282,24.794871794871803,6.079149491110277,0.458394871794872,716,23,165,4,15,232,94,195,0.14400000000000002,0.696,0.16,0.8244,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,0,1,6,10,0,0,11,0,11,4,2,2,1,37,30,12,0,3,9,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,7,16,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,8,8,46,5,27,20,5,19,0,3,6,2,36,13,0,1,4,126,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806102527994948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20661331061250146,0.10848851285119136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990782989304223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870973095619984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06062989807607672,0.0,0.0,0.0973349268729913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262019928782974,0.24706890950027985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778402502245536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24846196100459156,0.0,0.2507018860642621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377653330743448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326196609729503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094743465275855,0.0,0.07746244001715476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262780722126797,0.0,0.1706161615792888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132798192166023,0.0,0.12738503137632265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931589990360275,0.0,0.3737739487734377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228543042428956,0.0,0.0,0.4623731649472743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327438318090857,0.1014304108617164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709663591850943,0.07435839155712384,0.0,0.0,0.06766808428338328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878846472072941,0.0,0.11336130022333712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20534302292059564,0.18422580984986728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471459248171616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lacrix06s,2019/02/21,"How can I stop ""hating"" attractive people so much? I don't know how else to put this.

I have come to terms with the fact that I flat out hate them. I know obviously how wrong this is. 
But I can't feel any differently. 

I am so endlessly jealous of people being born with good genes.
I wonder day and night how my failed life could have turned out had I been born attractive.

I resent people so much who show off their attractiveness and get compliments to no end for something they haven't achieved in any way what so ever.

It makes me so irrationally angry when I hear of people telling how many people are into them, or how they don't like being cat called all the time etc.

I would figuratively kill to just once in my live be told I'm desirable.

I know at the end of the day I should be happy I'm not living in a war zone and I should be grateful for my life.
But I just can't help but hating my life for being completely alone at 30 and never having felt any desire towards me what so ever.

I know that what I'm saying here is awful and that good looking people don't deserve my hate. But I just can't help feeling this way. It makes me angry when they show off, when they live life in a way I can't because I'm not attractive, it makes me angry when I want to take pictures of myself for keepsake and there's just this ugly face and then I see these gorgeous people taking millions of pictures because they love looking at themselves so much. And I get it, I would too. 

I don't know what to do. 
I feel bad for feeling this way, these people haven't done anything to me. 
Yet I just hate them for taking their amazing lifes for granted.

I had to get this off my chest.


Edit: I'm not talking about celebrities by the way, I mean anyone with beautiful features.
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mentalhealth,msxpc,2019/02/21,"I have no diagnosis but general awful feelings and fear and stuff For a very long time, I never tried posting or even just making an account on reddit because it scared me. I recently got past that and had an account for about a week, but I just had to delete everything and deactivate because a comment I made got more downvotes than upvotes. I know it doesn't actually matter. I still can't talk away the feeling that I'm entirely and irreversibly one of the worst people on the planet.

I'm also currently fixating on the idea that I'm abusing my fish and my friends' pets in general. My mind's going so fast. It's 4 in the morning and I can check on my own fish (he's fine, the tank's levels are fine, no signs of illness), but I'm kind of shaking because I can't make sure the others - between all my friends and their parents, 5 fish 2 ferrets a hamster and 3 cats - are okay. It's incredibly stupid but I'm horrified and the emotion part of my brain is entirely convinced that one of those animals needs help right now and I'm just laying in my room doing nothing. And it is my responsibility. But I'm not doing it. Because I'm selfish.

No idea what's actually wrong with me. But I think it's likely that it's abnormal enough to go here and I don't know I hope I find somebody someday that understands what I feel to some extent. Also I just wanted to complain. Thanks for listening, I hope I don't end up having to delete this new account too.",3.0449180790960426,4.673684908474577,4.803750000000001,82.51489053672316,74.4915254237288,7.628531073446329,29.24081920903955,8.344100000000001,2.163014124293786,1148,50,228,20,24,390,159,295,0.2,0.71,0.09,-0.9886,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,0,13,20,1,3,14,2,16,2,1,3,3,52,44,23,0,4,12,1,3,1,2,0,1,1,2,0,20,14,0,0,10,0,4,3,10,8,0,2,5,4,28,12,26,39,8,28,0,0,0,0,10,12,0,4,13,150,48,0,0.0,0.1425329940658375,0.23478622420325446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240390703552948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130235625095506,0.0,0.0,0.2933292206798126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342919151436703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531861719120655,0.10654797431394823,0.1242995864639412,0.0,0.07945543541666815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081157330813223,0.0,0.0,0.1353682535323349,0.182478255169644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994983417991952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18588326679366915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673580557628473,0.0,0.1924259727514168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063295076240125,0.0,0.0,0.23896533618266555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716027131254404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527144665827186,0.1322248384161254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05877133471790522,0.0,0.0,0.10645959738287362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382850520137508,0.16059917470291726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146629091319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891991519190467,0.09278093126927628,0.1161841792621746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542879915544085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303354478169835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357625723098365,0.13027058636147634,0.11483767862992952,0.08339921438656084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521185496908493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877937491865755,0.0,0.0,0.1027334997901945,0.0,0.0,0.1204388915232434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606982500623744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771198001260826,0.0,0.0,0.11337907171422902,0.0,0.0,0.09669066037979293,0.0,0.1107538747947388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708184969170749,0.0,0.0,0.07014650253227311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816741791728795,0.0,0.0,0.12523405227200482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925812504282053,0.07095464590053069,0.0,0.09649548475981846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152654952512244,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Surprisingonion,2019/02/21,"Question about therapists and moving? So I neeed to be in therapy (I always have wanted to but recently I've specifically been through some shit) but I am moving pretty far away late this year.  
My question is, do you think I should get a therapist here right now, go to them for the next few months, and then find a new person after I move? I feel like I'd just get used to them, and then up and leave and have to start all over with a new person.  Would it be worth the few extra months of help? How difficult is it switching people? 
I have never been in therapy before.  Is this a question I need to be asking a therapist? ",1.54591575091575,3.779299928571433,3.174126984126985,89.56873626373628,81.46031746031746,6.416605616605617,20.009768009768013,7.61054688173877,0.6911094017094013,485,13,101,8,13,160,80,126,0.036000000000000004,0.848,0.115,0.897,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,2,0,6,3,1,0,7,0,15,1,1,2,2,24,25,11,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,6,0,1,4,1,2,0,0,2,1,12,1,17,18,5,25,0,0,0,0,10,7,1,4,15,75,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173138012147608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429801858576355,0.0,0.11486872412830144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403554987865972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181909885891981,0.08734365544629782,0.0,0.0,0.11174481577059152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775319773546456,0.0,0.06948404023221302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819493207533121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791632168013024,0.1294572981839101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973080377635996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951759601656066,0.3898339459516375,0.0,0.09065536908201433,0.09429562262680237,0.2361618788049105,0.1300265152278533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476074490288174,0.21350808959517695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438392125804623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4108826551023699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071850282113013,0.0,0.0,0.10441067140435943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549969495736918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653733425145582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796334102497053,0.42586514958362415,0.0,0.07834024632507712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055946997747184,0.0,0.0,0.07211301311512502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685107707654498,0.0,0.0,0.07873241139656383
mentalhealth,FreshStart1995,2019/02/21,"Where can someone go to be tested for mental illness? (California) I want to know if there’s something wrong with me, but I don’t know where to go. ",1.625,3.779896833333332,3.256666666666668,89.525,80.66666666666666,5.333333333333334,23.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,0.5553333333333339,115,4,24,1,3,38,24,30,0.139,0.82,0.041,-0.4118,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,8,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,16,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4503713983327133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43551347155054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3993049771796342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33572299033801056,0.3050359374277613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23370574340600456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332134935531475,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jasmin_flower,2019/02/21,"Why am I (F24) experiencing sudden, short peroids of helplessness? So for a couple years now I have been struggling with these kind of episodes. Usually I feel miserable, like darkness is consuming me and I think my life has no purpose, I think about ending everything, . It only happens when I'm alone, I always end up crying (well I don't just sred a tear, I blubber loudly) and after that I feel better and I just carry on. 

Generally I'm a happy, optimistic person with huge goals. I like motivating others and I also like to motivate myself. I'm a maximalist in heart and really stubborn. I do sports, I don't drink, smoke and I don't do drugs. I have a healthy diet. I had anorexia for years but I recovered. This started during/after the recovery, but I never gave it too much attention until now (now it affected my life, I lost my bf because of this). 

These episodes are short, 30-40 minutes and they are not that frequent (like sometimes it happens 1-2 times a month, sometimes 1-2 times a week). It's just terrible, I sink into the deepest thoughts in my head and I legit consider killing myself. I think about ""I can't live without myself, I'm not doing this, I don't have to, everything is too much""... 

This had already destroyed my relationship, since I usually texted my ex when I hit low and he just couldn't take it anymore. My break-up haven't triggered this thing. I had only 1 episode in the last month (yesterday).

​

Should I see a doctor? Is it some kind of hormonal imbalance? Is there anyone who struggles with this? During my ana recovery my doc said I didn't have depression, but is it depression? Or is it some kind of anxiety attack? ",3.0253312629399614,5.272448034161492,4.610285714285716,81.12638095238098,76.4223602484472,7.77159420289855,28.12463768115942,8.648137234880735,2.410451842650103,1305,56,241,28,30,437,170,322,0.153,0.762,0.085,-0.9719,0,1,3,0,0,2,64.0,0,0,1,5,17,23,4,3,11,0,30,8,2,4,1,42,49,18,1,2,11,1,2,4,1,1,4,2,0,1,22,13,2,1,9,2,0,0,13,13,1,0,9,6,44,10,23,37,4,34,0,6,1,0,9,10,0,3,28,166,66,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803718856380323,0.11511239399290606,0.08341936160700608,0.08679707740612484,0.11302348916245075,0.12675215812296958,0.0,0.0,0.07979943995406998,0.0,0.10345082985966284,0.07293833135460624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186715137087142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358846009627041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922566958488272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542075610467295,0.11458333506522958,0.0,0.0,0.17968989965390195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676915088209704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218738678442474,0.12097038798927585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18478136197406736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875002555255165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548794486868092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844879312222832,0.11104351847730684,0.0,0.0,0.10705560856986444,0.0,0.0,0.12361184170638602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540728486555575,0.3258789575168898,0.0,0.08502931632341476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473592315277025,0.203848967455905,0.0,0.09211061384417532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387036205854498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652386807374706,0.0,0.15336465384638345,0.0,0.08045289906048853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586700317255974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108240818761007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682581375988866,0.0,0.0,0.11199351757345027,0.0,0.0,0.09922589918617752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312424770737954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628909482131289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20633717376682745,0.0,0.0738335377989987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21810195932451448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784306697474599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930116567455448,0.20051938004300648,0.0,0.08281316118847179,0.12165192589620133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22977287212406175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367389062568463,0.0,0.09379024413250488,0.0,0.0941265884777294,0.0,0.0,0.10055436300060484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675215812296958,0.1343487761239125
mentalhealth,taffz48,2019/02/21,"I need a pick-me-up today Hey guys, to give a little background here, I've dealt with anxiety and depression most of my life (30/male). A couple years ago, I voluntarily checked into a hospital because I was having suicidal thoughts and it was literally all I could think of and it was starting to scare me. Today I am mostly doing a lot better and not experiencing symptoms of depression but I still have my down days.

Lately there's been a lot going on in my life... moving in with my girlfriend, starting a new midnight position at work, experiencing ups and downs with our relationship, and experiencing chest pains which I suspect is mainly due to stress and anxiety. It all has me feeling overwhelmed and every day I feel emotional and on the verge of a breakdown. I've been having such bad intrusive thoughts lately, and until recently I thought I had overcome these kinds of thoughts and that I wouldn't go down that road again but now it's coming back.

Lately I've just been feeling so hopeless.. I've been blaming myself for our relationship going through a rough patch and I feel like I'm just failing at everything I do. The rational part of me knows it's not true but I can't stop these thoughts from coming and they just keep interfering with my life every day lately. Has anyone experiencing something similar? I'm just looking for advice or maybe just to hear from someone that it's going to be okay so I can stop having panic attacks and terrible anxiety.",4.865102639296191,6.776485326164877,5.85053274682307,75.70489002932551,70.29032258064515,8.513587487781036,30.9613880742913,9.095868883498916,2.8663677419354836,1182,51,206,24,22,390,152,279,0.189,0.745,0.066,-0.99,0,0,1,0,0,1,27.0,2,0,1,3,14,17,1,4,11,1,23,6,1,0,3,57,49,21,1,3,11,0,5,1,1,1,5,1,0,1,12,21,0,3,12,0,1,7,4,12,0,0,13,11,27,5,32,33,8,44,0,5,1,0,10,14,0,5,24,147,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017729543253003,0.08180278158421482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21178735537664745,0.0,0.0,0.06452600131892612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049845548681293,0.0,0.07095947106980996,0.07705195123187418,0.05625449587120703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161628553139702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589862365748553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367998910121855,0.10210872283920493,0.0,0.17854354533640385,0.0,0.15896539565314788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380528164821956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550380798912633,0.0,0.08293747272965551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866430213939204,0.06592656659914402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852568909220229,0.20978486336711974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137408683620142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400897420517273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202483923116101,0.0,0.09609792113429057,0.050715994877784464,0.0,0.4163942770608861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19554536945090092,0.0450845203702716,0.09249121050140913,0.0,0.0,0.07749397596468502,0.0,0.0,0.15691039666901085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271007664797357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808158920861484,0.0,0.06842623195487893,0.0,0.0891269191314275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819498237647882,0.1082735156743084,0.0,0.09993284877145872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911177391800302,0.19815352856161164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239078343746243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819057995022845,0.07104350175460072,0.0,0.0,0.1306359185607638,0.0,0.07369684563489386,0.15430444081013964,0.10570917997621636,0.0,0.0,0.10094197001057846,0.0,0.0,0.0959167502280867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913083715529858,0.0,0.36630959667096297,0.0,0.0,0.17494585405087495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718268790881815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942684144514791
mentalhealth,Speedbird52,2019/02/21,"Do I need therapy or am I a crybaby Idk if I an really i need of therapy or not but... I just can't find myself wanting to feel happy. Like, unless something really good happens to me, I just feel neutral. And I prefer the feeling of being sad or angry over being blank. So I either get myself pissed over shit that doesn't matter or start feeling sad and worried about things not being sad or worried about. I had an extremely privileged life, and while I did have regular suicidal thoughts when I was around 15, and one ""suicide attempt"" of choking myself with a shirt when I was 11 because my mom was mad at me. (I highly doubt that is a symptom of anything other than a melodramatic child) I don't think I have ever really wanted to die. I suppose I just felt bored of living often. I felt like living was a task. And suicide could be the way out of the task like posting this is my way out of homework. I got a crush on a friend three years ago and it hit me extremely hard, but I was very very slow on the uptake to realize what my feelings were, and when I did realize them I thought it was best to ignore them. Obviously it is a pipe dream that I should let go of now that we have been friends for three years, (We have a genuine friendship. I'm not so much of friendzoned as much as I have feelings for a genuine friend) 

​

Every so often I'll just fantasize about a potential relationship, and I feel like the worlds softest warmest blanket just wrapped itself around me. It's like a fucking drug. I never want it to end. If I could get that feeling in a needle I would ruin my life with it. I am late to class regularly because I combine that feeling and the feeling of just waking up, along with being surrounded with soft blankets and pillows to create a feeling that is more intoxicating than any orgasm, and stronger than any alcohol the world could possibly have. I even have my own analog for porn for this feeling: Romantic songs like ""Thinking out Loud"", ""I will spend my Whole Life Loving You"", ""Like I'm gonna loose You"", and ""Crazy Love'. Cute drawings of couples, sometimes anime style. Romantic hentai if I am also feeling horny.

​

I realize that a relationship isn't the solution to my problems, and that getting romantically involved while you can't take care of yourself is dangerous, but I genuinely want to start a romantic relationship, (Not necessarily with her if it doesn't work out, just a relationship in general) I just want it to be a healthy one. I want it to give me some of that drug that I crave, and I want it to give me someone I can share my most intimate thoughts with, intimate feelings for, intimate moments with. Someone I can fantasize about doing something with and actually do it. But I don't want to be dependent on that relationship. 

​

I have tried to quit this drug many many times. Focus on the downsides of relationships (Forbidden in my religion outside marriage, could have a painful end, could completely change me) or the particular person I have feelings for. (She's a feminist and I only align with 2nd wave feminism. She recently got a Septum piercing and I don't like them at all.) But after a few days like this I end up feeling like I am dead inside. And I fall back into the same pattern. I figured out my problem is that I can't make myself feel happy. No matter what I do, I never can pull myself out of this trap of wanting to be miserable. Like it's some sort of perverted pleasure for me.",4.950583685838751,6.117754218100893,5.9520241176842,77.9313968684892,69.13353115727003,8.881570806237768,32.589683692152285,9.195540489509971,2.951458021339731,2749,123,507,53,47,911,285,674,0.14800000000000002,0.687,0.165,0.9581,0,0,6,0,1,3,91.0,2,3,3,4,27,41,5,2,35,0,64,19,5,2,5,137,120,45,5,25,29,1,21,11,3,4,10,2,2,2,35,39,1,1,30,2,1,3,16,16,0,4,18,23,87,25,83,83,13,57,0,5,0,5,30,26,3,18,36,384,122,3,0.0,0.0,0.04971022076130346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04515535358593155,0.05443950936883185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04073680526415188,0.0,0.16558083565694826,0.18569350865780554,0.06928207332664894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041919388366508784,0.0906950350705472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03916981726506781,0.0,0.06210526348049882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345852591922036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193685969341452,0.0,0.05388790537829244,0.0,0.053409759366917546,0.0,0.0,0.2033577523673788,0.05636428731051735,0.0,0.03285217105505226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05286781474640183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17722314256481247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535351171789853,0.0,0.0,0.03364547684730232,0.04607826589365988,0.04291925835357402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378666435814123,0.07278328115104732,0.09782103065803636,0.0,0.04655835791303423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806865917498938,0.04709333132040218,0.0798423496922676,0.09773283291794573,0.028950451008094395,0.04272616599659169,0.08148295427589149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504619061456112,0.108453435771112,0.04563235273126575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053821046407895805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057462687844195774,0.0,0.0,0.05208973640752455,0.10794156541677948,0.27375453023238616,0.0,0.08996213988327913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195091617466106,0.0,0.03400293375668376,0.10329059722988426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05966046709197378,0.0,0.0,0.07489371673181773,0.0755429250359808,0.0785763405240045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903670375123944,0.03874226593889205,0.05420389213793966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044478958527741135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05742734508665109,0.048786565432173266,0.0,0.0,0.0974856536760514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418110087031775,0.0,0.0,0.09790065912682908,0.0,0.0502972350199263,0.3281438286039712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05228931360715135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863228173019223,0.07843240485433024,0.05038109321726558,0.0,0.07211137542506914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671607099128664,0.0,0.0,0.05294630191644365,0.038300639787813284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650896114568983,0.0,0.033842360289963534,0.0652807595993748,0.0,0.1213223245415102,0.029703600697577007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034585005921534094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406188778708215,0.27041228771853515,0.08086781164147666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056872838351670174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03708502288828483,0.10346435375178484,0.0,0.036186408324872736,0.0,0.18569350865780554,0.0656075499141354
mentalhealth,survivor2017,2019/02/21,"I don't know what's happening, but I think I'm descending into insanity Please help, I feel like the center of the world even though I'm not, and I've stopped caring about how I act in social situations (e.g. school) and have pretty much stopped having boundaries or anything. I'll yell stupid random things for the sake of it and in general treat everyone as if they're below me even if I care about them. I'm pushing people away but I can't stand not being the center of attention. I hate it, and I hate myself for not stopping. The other day someone told me that I'm ""too smart for my own good"", and I have't stopped riding the high. I feel fearless and overconfident with everything right now and I'm worried about the consequences even though I can't stop becoause I'm too restless otherwise. Please help me, I don't know what's wrong",5.113723462166576,5.910572000000003,5.522525857376156,82.5092868807839,68.52095808383234,8.707457811649427,28.95427327163854,8.841846274778883,2.1199868263473047,672,23,133,11,11,215,98,167,0.129,0.598,0.273,0.9756,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,13,12,3,1,7,0,7,0,0,1,0,31,24,16,0,2,8,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,9,0,5,6,0,0,3,7,5,0,0,1,3,18,7,16,22,2,21,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,4,8,81,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620625470047693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125711319907928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26317270188744946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323370598899563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557308364559895,0.0,0.0,0.12332337250023355,0.115991757769408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051429838862882,0.09220124621427464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825029288438537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412826809082464,0.0,0.0,0.2548421519980369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301381448396802,0.13636009459551265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185716538707813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305271421742542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487472819426608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947468788847418,0.0,0.0,0.2833405725689177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130149511616496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021743906138652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061668177492627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450700375689556,0.0,0.13156149643266485,0.10935301632591836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.539504120758974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857424327186222,0.0826971152397712,0.25360367003926043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332337250023355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106777001261716,0.0,0.0,0.14110800748387675,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SheSeesTheMoonlight,2019/02/21,"Obsessed with my mental illness I feel like sometimes I get obsessed with my mental illness. It's almost like a part of me WANTS things to go over the edge, and everything to break apart. Most of the time I feel alright, i little depressed and anxious, some weird thoughts here and there, but usually ok. But every once in a while, every few months or so, I feel like I'm getting really anxious, or is it excited to go back to that place, even thought the rational part of me knows it sucks, and in reality I feel like I'm dying. I don't know why I get so antsy and excited when I think about it, it pisses me off because I should be HERE, focusing on my life and loved ones. I'm worried if I go all the way it'll tear them away from me and I would hate that. It would make me WANT to let go, and that scares me. So then I don't know why I'm still so obsessed with it. I hate everything about it",5.339841269841268,4.255405761904766,6.078354497354502,85.14673809523809,68.1005291005291,9.464761904761906,31.069312169312173,8.548686976883017,2.0339159788359766,695,23,159,9,10,229,100,189,0.183,0.68,0.138,-0.7373,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,0,13,19,4,4,6,2,9,5,1,1,1,36,37,20,1,6,5,0,4,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,13,11,0,0,10,0,0,4,2,10,0,1,2,4,24,9,20,29,6,23,0,1,0,1,2,9,2,6,12,104,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154797173570911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605652119865192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835012177682507,0.08867656896045982,0.0,0.07030006857789776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993278674251602,0.0,0.11968747233163793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617001191675572,0.0,0.19432986104414035,0.0,0.2072904549325653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332438856730459,0.24716116007702085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18075513553048128,0.0,0.2621637622542789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22771594568247666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19013615868502104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179259803898406,0.08145632136947595,0.22536473394681705,0.11558433402351148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040838626328179,0.0,0.07697925879326399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324377069498911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205003020766526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281564734752196,0.07814611413134229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24976798789211144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048839794932276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387911710680875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545883241918292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140577822140747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209740878256703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661573644138582,0.07389457220633702,0.0,0.18310778093660826,0.06724599652349413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270124220904784,0.0,0.13604144752213704,0.09153833967591868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081228454021344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171165011867675,0.0,0.16384485592755954,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EmotionalGymnist,2019/02/21,"I feel guilty for feeling sad when I had to attend a funeral on my 17th birthday, oh and my car broke down. I dont know why but I feel incredibly selfish and guilty whenever I have pity for myself.

My 17th birthday was very recently and on this day was the funeral if someone I looked up to, though I didn't know them very well. During the first half of the service I was in a cycle of thought that went like

""I'm really sad that I have to spend the better half of my birthday at a funeral""

To;
""Wow, I am literally the worst person. They didn't CHOSE when to die. Everyone is heart broken and your complaining about not being able to do what you want today?!""

Then to;
""I guess I really am just a selfish bitch""

Rinse. Recycle. Repeat.

After the funeral was over my mum took me to a little bakery and we picked up gormet cupcakes instead of a cake. I was dissasosiating so I wouldn t break down in tears in public so I just let her pick out which ones to get.

(I don't like to celebrate my birthday. On my 16th birthday I had a very bad depressive episode which included a side order of suicidal thoughts so my birthday now only reminds me of death And how inevitable it is)

The rest of the day went fine. I hung out with friends in the evening but on my way home my car broke down. I have grown very attached to this car and I am NOT a sentimental person so this is a pretty big deal for me.

Anyway, after saying all this I genuinely feel guilty for complaining about this because I know someone, somewhere is suffering so much more than me and in feel like a prick twirling my thumbs and complaining.

Anyone know why this is or what the hek I do about It? I want to get better and not feel like a dinsey villain the second I think about what I'm going through. 

",2.3903651685393257,4.33234605617978,3.7639185393258434,87.8920014044944,77.20224719101124,7.034269662921347,24.608146067415728,7.972316293177498,1.3477966292134829,1380,48,287,23,32,453,172,356,0.269,0.639,0.092,-0.9977,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,2,2,3,20,27,3,0,23,0,26,2,2,3,1,43,51,24,7,3,9,1,6,4,1,0,0,1,1,2,15,14,0,0,13,0,1,9,7,17,1,5,14,8,47,10,50,35,5,45,0,7,1,0,16,21,2,3,16,205,62,1,0.1108427438525326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775038237238541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254906121236096,0.06756870784735103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960627987950582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296879998694753,0.11427400182341127,0.09546869286072272,0.0,0.11503726830654805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990687028148776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321058693178333,0.0,0.0,0.10591499181252828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362725304618956,0.15837215671135346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428278129692227,0.0,0.0,0.08563682894315226,0.0,0.11582151759481404,0.0,0.06299448570342875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210577887500265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134918515225494,0.0,0.0,0.1111843096490093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436650929326863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334421541487295,0.0,0.2166086630523716,0.1110935487738727,0.0,0.0,0.09307998837773772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148217046117928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510991186723412,0.08430090146518288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935672170561892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276691918375001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201740000520127,0.0,0.1094438373861209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814659881350971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783339433590304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124397126935806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102355462686917,0.1089024330557637,0.17599351472855154,0.0,0.0,0.10506596067034712,0.0,0.12315036685362865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658274882782311,0.13075584432138107,0.08798181076509398,0.0,0.0,0.09966093840181932,0.20550466807445766,0.2000366716819602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skrskr_skr,2019/02/21,"Getting tired/bored of people sometimes and then later want to be with them again (Sorry for the probably broken English, it's not my first language)

Don't really know how to start this, but, it's been in my head for a long time and I need to at least vent.

The thing is that I always get bored or tired of people out of nowhere. Like, I could be in the best moment of our relationship and from nowhere they become annoying and I don't want to be with them or having them around me.

I have noticed something about this, it only happens when my relation with the other person gets too deep. When we start to make a stronger bond. When that happens, I can't stand them, I don't like them, their voices seem too loud and I want them to shut up. I thought that it maybe was because I'm afraid of deep bonds. I don't know.

The problem keeps going when, like, the next morning or next 5 minutes I WANT TO BE WITH THEM AGAIN. I don't fucking understand myself. I push them away but then regret it. What is wrong with me.

The worst part is that sometimes I don't talk to them because I don't feel like being with them but I talk with other people like it's nothing. And bro, that's some fucked up shit right there, I'm hurting them and I know and I'm being the worst person and friend at the same time. I don't why they stay around, I don't deserve them they should go away.

This shit has ruined 3 friendships and I hurted people by pushing them away. And now I don't want to have friends because I feel that it's just going to be the same shit again. We meet, we start to know each other, we get a stronger bond and then I go through a change of episodies where I can't stand them and where I love them.

And I don't want to be a bad person, I tried to have other frienships after the first one so I could do better but I just fucked it up again. And these friends got hurt, they didn't deserve it.

I don't know If I'm just being a bitch or what, has anyone felt this way before?",2.335951077035414,3.6656786506024126,3.0764731653888298,95.40458196422057,75.74698795180723,5.608616283315079,21.49142022635998,5.565023196281405,-0.11768273092369474,1540,37,353,6,33,484,168,415,0.197,0.685,0.118,-0.9924,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,5,0,20,4,24,31,8,1,17,0,39,9,4,2,0,72,81,33,0,13,13,1,3,5,3,1,1,2,0,3,27,30,0,1,11,0,0,6,16,20,0,3,6,5,61,11,46,63,9,54,0,5,0,4,37,19,7,7,30,249,88,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630983992439013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055722257258108726,0.0,0.0,0.1418849349821618,0.0,0.0,0.22461879609333898,0.0,0.06653920219789615,0.1457378774503974,0.08801317056353444,0.0678117278136041,0.0,0.08363147407562965,0.07048079170989684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430320298102928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272546019760418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058898925209121,0.05693173339572559,0.07651648496528776,0.0,0.0,0.1355713600184642,0.0,0.0,0.1847087221196144,0.22102094940338896,0.16654239982888572,0.0,0.1811624133908811,0.0,0.06373669551258475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094213253392612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178662783840401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559346908350433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083360350509052,0.0,0.0,0.21898224405019287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19466658332149425,0.0,0.0,0.07052460586025149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192482892169236,0.0,0.05319479772533396,0.0,0.08006097752538273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909035152120035,0.0,0.0,0.16950595579043098,0.0,0.0,0.07646629111401453,0.09072947604061496,0.0,0.0,0.054001127049061265,0.060609093756075164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629829516718562,0.0,0.220992634511429,0.20875103473549203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859210813913361,0.07625415009080189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105251404378087,0.0,0.0,0.08555901240910706,0.0,0.06805623691484346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254828860759521,0.0,0.0,0.2454070122683654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061350528474877486,0.15763416663109805,0.08920828197395414,0.16921848818463328,0.08494069963567429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12810626531167646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294359372207474,0.0,0.0,0.06326627147071183,0.09293768838467424,0.09159383292380156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410540183062459,0.0,0.0,0.08296182207980157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28202521289416305,0.06325552544290666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719093223079738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713031322162723,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,--1234--,2019/02/21,"My first therapy sessions coming up. Was supposed to already have them but they were rescheduled for weather. Anxiety is ripping me up. I had made big strides during what was (probably) a manic episode. Have had a ton of serious mental health issues for half-ish of my life which I have no clue how I’ve made it this far without help. Scheduled and went to an intro session 2 weeks ago. This week I was supposed to have another meeting where I would be prescribed whatever for the various issues I have. Got cancelled and rescheduled for next week. And they told me I need another 90 minute session on top of my other appointment. That seems scary long, I’m having to mentally prepare for it considering I’ve never had counseling before or discussed medication.

In the few days since I have skipped all my classes, slept maybe 8 total hours across several days, room looks like a tornado hit, eating horrible or not at all. Forgetting things, zoning out, paranoia, constantly going over what they said could be wrong with me, what I think is or isn’t true, and symptoms of various mental illnesses which I can’t even remember if I said the right things about or at all to the dr. 

Appointment seems years away. Just grinding hours and teeth until I can get help. Trying to stave off existential crisis before then also. 

Writing this as catharsis, thanks for reading if you did!",5.39187747035573,7.4480906679841885,5.5276897233201625,77.96283893280633,69.19762845849803,8.696363636363637,32.41284584980237,9.255337874911486,3.1713052964426875,1101,50,185,23,20,347,166,253,0.151,0.8009999999999999,0.048,-0.9809,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,4,2,6,5,0,0,8,0,24,9,2,3,6,36,43,17,0,5,10,0,0,1,0,1,6,2,1,0,14,8,1,0,4,1,0,3,6,2,0,1,16,3,23,3,32,22,8,37,0,0,1,0,13,17,0,8,18,131,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971929311163058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241401125908366,0.0899615461284528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23591988902123684,0.08605773120481225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569197464818024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19144850408546774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690376548749488,0.0,0.12156623216300655,0.0,0.08981744003511907,0.0,0.0,0.14509886490238186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510961885954615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430133751985556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568748249458553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05877356016072404,0.0,0.06393302854546808,0.0,0.08997186330936786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195760409461398,0.0,0.0,0.15080494011268736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22156819204259276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348293706024956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945795825545722,0.05495896856480402,0.0,0.0,0.09955379938316274,0.09446676939283022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21288940498521933,0.0,0.0,0.11301551278110795,0.0,0.0,0.11332604005667105,0.3401029896509578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341300074018121,0.08676243800683832,0.0,0.11963882471353696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212877405733717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252461129734204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743396379745547,0.09606940547840673,0.2140154308259489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20482093253931924,0.0,0.12708639052663864,0.0,0.09305633889552584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692451460789093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356951654221756,0.12864688596125118,0.0,0.14947225422217505,0.07208172103726038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749299909872624,0.0,0.07637615628883995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707081099492892,0.0,0.0,0.1042832214877192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844036433786802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799126298842532,0.12299471392787842,0.0,0.07244255642659732
mentalhealth,slothking_16,2019/02/21,"I’m So Scared Two Monday’s who i finally got in to see an orthopedic surgeon for my severe hamstring pain. He was very worried it was sarcoma and rushed me to get a MRI. Well the radiologist said she didn’t see any cancer but did see a partially torn hamstring. 

Fast forward to 24 hours ago.. i had blood work done Monday and a couple things came back a little off so i called my surgeon. He (and my primary) proceeded to tell me that the changes are so minuscule that a simple infection like a cold could do it. (I have been dealing with a super mild fever the last 3 days). Then about 45 minutes later my surgeon calls back and tells me he’s referring me to get another opinion (which i honestly wanted because mine wasn’t doing anything). He gives me the phone number, hospital, and name of the doctor. So me being my overly worried self, i googled the doctors name only to find out it’s an oncologist. Why, without explanation, would he want me to quickly see an oncologist if they saw no cancer in the mri?

Today after seeing what the doc did i proceeded to cry for 4 hours straight. I am 24 years old and I’m now absolutely terrified I’m going to have cancer and my chronic anxiety/worry mind is telling me I’m going to die from this before i even get tests done to figure it out. 

I am going crazy. I’m back to crying by myself in bed at 12:40am. My leg is in excruciating pain. And i don’t see myself sleeping tonight. 

Help. Please. Anyways possible. I need all the support and prayers physically possible for tomorrow. 😭",2.8162956810631243,5.005363661129572,4.714792358803988,80.40680647840533,76.8405315614618,7.622259136212626,28.02574750830565,8.527137837955566,2.314991362126247,1206,52,226,25,28,411,177,301,0.192,0.72,0.08800000000000001,-0.9905,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,1,2,13,8,0,1,19,0,23,19,3,0,1,29,49,16,1,6,3,0,0,1,0,1,16,1,1,1,11,13,0,0,3,0,0,6,5,3,1,1,14,9,32,5,31,32,1,41,0,0,7,0,21,12,0,2,26,143,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818438516412143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627867050132967,0.09681472759063224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597868092938358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21298529134236316,0.0,0.05628273910826038,0.0,0.07856495205879033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18855592018832126,0.1055994747144968,0.0,0.0,0.0976715579171292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371698101388342,0.10215998773492037,0.2028375571248957,0.05954439508052462,0.09518687031893676,0.0,0.0,0.09582264876888903,0.0,0.0,0.18900474252119875,0.0,0.1889687008839418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060982257845644414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114161479178832,0.08438678993934665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471385791419872,0.08857013446467646,0.1574176412599897,0.0,0.07384372274212071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188600400289768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818504090040628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526024092955175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045107155588604536,0.09253764681095357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322570108864203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684605861564381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688347466901906,0.0,0.0,0.07022016248224087,0.196488564664725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134922382055332,0.0,0.2081735492327106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782576883011715,0.0,0.09243716932640796,0.0,0.4414442815757938,0.0,0.0963190054132203,0.10430518876859654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239541242215922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477355287463704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420981484613943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133910809688011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875168438462261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019175694970576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618087476198891,0.10891575860006794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830146198448267,0.0,0.08331232136180244,0.0,0.0,0.08900160454258732,0.0,0.06721641777433565,0.2812929324925084,0.0,0.06558768339025926,0.0,0.0,0.05945667739593325
mentalhealth,dreiscraaaaay,2019/02/21,"Just fired today, having a rough time. Hey everybody. Just here to blow off some steam or here something helpful I’m not really sure. It’s currently 12:25 AM. I’m sitting on my couch after already trying to sleep for an hour or so. I’m not overly upset or anxious just...nothing. With such a sour stomach..which is definitely just a manifestation of my anxiety. 

So today I was let go from my job. On 1/30 I had a conversation with all of my bosses (3) about my poor work performance and informed them I’d be seeking inpatient psychiatric care. I thought at that time I was going to be fired for sure, but they were supportive and said I could take a leave of absence and to get better. They said they would send me information I needed to my email. That day I went to the ED for suicidal thoughts and was admitted the next day to a local mental hospital for 12 days. Obviously during that time I had no access to the internet/my phone but gave my MD there my works’ contact info to send them a form saying I was there. By the time I had a form sent it was probably 2/6. So I get home.. and I go to an Intensive Outpatient Program 9-3 for 2 weeks. It ended up being complicated... but I haven’t heard from work. I go to log into my work email and it isn’t there. I go to my boyfriend I’m fired for sure. But I text my immediate boss and she says she’s happy to hear from me and that my upper boss will be contacting me the next day about getting started again. So I’m like phew thank god. The next day I hear nothing so at ~12 I call the upper boss and leave a message. I hear nothing that day or the next. Today I got an email that says this:

Hi dre

We are glad to hear from you. Unfortunately, yes, your employment has been terminated. Per the conversation with boss, boss, and boss on 1/30, we needed your LOA paperwork and a plan that day or early on 1/31. We extended that deadline to 2/4, and made several attempts to reach you. We also reached out to your emergency contact in NextEp, to which we received no response. We did not receive any calls, emails, or letters from your physicians, and ultimately it is your responsibility to contact your employer. 

Again, we are happy to hear you received treatment and are in a better place. With that said, your employment was terminated effective February 5, and we will not be reinstating your employment. 



Sooooooo fucccckkk. Life has just been rough hit after rough hit. I get out of the hospital and it’s just at me again. Really feeling defeated and like I can’t even fathom going through interviews and starting a new job. I don’t think I can do it but I can barely make it past March financially. ",2.6914156697161644,4.884929549808434,4.365843302838378,82.73593596059115,77.25670498084291,7.786128704355306,25.97873172257409,8.664204335059999,2.0181841738994453,2083,80,412,46,49,699,240,522,0.086,0.8029999999999999,0.111,0.9398,7,0,1,0,0,0,72.0,8,11,5,11,23,15,0,1,25,1,39,3,1,10,5,81,84,35,1,4,20,0,7,2,0,3,2,12,2,0,19,33,0,0,9,0,1,13,10,2,0,0,24,20,67,13,60,48,4,66,0,1,0,0,67,19,0,7,35,270,86,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882853399886004,0.05712526474782832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048577162045474326,0.0,0.05464635602919573,0.08069941010478042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635407592669715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458829777367971,0.0,0.07283111282091569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057033757886422114,0.0,0.0,0.3224804374874712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326879048152749,0.0,0.0,0.0471810874712953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03611887373771038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928401428582774,0.0,0.24358348687619255,0.0,0.057131816121349425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208436673084685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025531711659033,0.0,0.04788030275133857,0.0,0.07165352524592455,0.0,0.0703475105466624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417732557206468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512753143878965,0.0,0.07304549199745357,0.050455523465367434,0.0697975027029696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759201094889772,0.047682349670231765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198806661088163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593392300950223,0.0,0.0689908235453375,0.30388092824110585,0.0,0.0,0.2056268236817298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819126384527471,0.0,0.0,0.07463269992836523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701728782013917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152413131634646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203848566507454,0.17042012213858665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069941010478042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148498906797457,0.0,0.0,0.05499292179467072,0.0,0.0,0.101121857391015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813654627789028,0.08106177661327285,0.20197540439786388,0.0,0.053709027345239774,0.0,0.0,0.06576627800316928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577163882725081,0.0,0.11342028196721934,0.16661356164873925,0.0,0.2031315341835316,0.0,0.0,0.04849859007749507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057299565261497015,0.0,0.0,0.06621947812831386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20801746596823115,0.0,0.0,0.05074423834729276,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yharnam_Trichromes,2019/02/21,"Cannabis for Misophonia  

Misophonia is a condition in which sufferers are extremely irritated, or experience negative physical sensations, due to certain noises. This is an extremely simplified definition, as some sufferers I have talked to have even experienced physical sensations from noise, physical touch, or even movement.

As a misophonia sufferer myself, it is a debilitating disease that has had extremely negative effects on my life and continues to do so. Cannabis has helped me personally, and I reached out to others with misophonia in order to gauge their experiences with cannabis as a medical tool.

​

[cloudykitchen.co/does-cannabis-help-misophonia/](https://cloudykitchen.co/does-cannabis-help-misophonia/)",18.167959183673467,19.88869824489797,14.570326530612245,25.51038775510205,41.04081632653062,19.676734693877552,58.37551020408164,16.887214914478655,11.155283265306123,620,38,60,29,5,187,67,98,0.19,0.778,0.032,-0.9583,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,1,3,4,0,0,5,0,10,2,0,1,1,10,10,8,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,2,6,1,16,9,1,8,0,3,0,0,4,4,0,3,2,52,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654150909827704,0.29765437104951065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235887992649121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4792376340670042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4925764911153952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730231659494284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467723896463231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21389045618028735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689033562243252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29765437104951065,0.0
mentalhealth,AnotherBrokenYouth,2019/02/22,"I feel super lonely tonight. It sucks when I only have 3 people that I would spend time with and they’re all busy or unwilling to hang out. I wouldn’t think twice if one of them said they needed to be out of their house. I need someone, but I feel like I have no one right now. Just a rough night for me I guess...",0.1199369747899155,1.992330279411764,1.3868067226890766,102.42205882352944,84.44117647058823,4.473949579831934,14.126050420168069,5.288315135182226,-1.327389075630252,241,3,61,1,7,76,53,68,0.1,0.81,0.09,0.1027,0,2,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,3,1,3,4,1,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,17,13,5,0,5,4,0,3,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,1,1,2,2,0,3,1,4,12,2,8,9,1,9,0,1,0,0,4,3,1,3,6,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27124541124912266,0.1916201156183167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954802656168571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094958345102863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104126987950812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977711309689196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517111527308227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635126349213681,0.20399732908769094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595356073883304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290628303115915,0.2551435603833587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272663168010413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186785899530352,0.0,0.0,0.15640425410714295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905394655850564,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,2ChickenNugget,2019/02/22,"Does anyone feel like they are fighting for control of their body? > I feel like my brain is becoming more and more split into 2. Like one side wants to do one thing and the other side wants to do another thing. I constantly feel like my actions aren't mine or I have to stop myself from doing something because the other side wants to do that. I don't really know how to explain other than like a tug-of-war match. Whichever side can pull the rope far enough will get to do that action, almost all the time I seem to win it, *or atleast the side I control*. Othertimes I lose and whatever the side wants to do gets to do it until I can regain control. I hope this makes sense to you guys. 

​",3.2675032010243257,4.681294380281692,3.9867989756722153,89.47170934699106,73.50704225352112,6.853777208706785,24.17669654289373,7.348242739294969,0.9141746478873234,550,16,115,6,11,175,83,142,0.051,0.816,0.133,0.8957,0,0,1,0,2,0,20.0,0,1,2,5,1,9,1,0,7,0,15,2,2,5,1,25,29,7,0,5,2,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,10,4,0,4,6,0,0,3,2,2,0,2,0,3,16,7,16,28,4,15,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,5,9,76,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493589020922764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600506345861114,0.16373991837803212,0.0,0.1413005062178869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422258839211696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214431549044568,0.1488243504687943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496804555172221,0.0,0.15042916515186455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562036473396042,0.4534116018712314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792345566339628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923610368121256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044058389827221,0.2888031935253977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080599711014896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342687905174286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384035808758574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740568485973202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291680964940048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507543907206748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994882435324694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182624545990146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632636676666465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267427545805708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373961638616204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265973031297336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904811056621686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857568940739287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179237747870063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373991837803212,0.0
mentalhealth,LilDixkhead,2019/02/22,My feelings It’s been about a year since me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up. But ever since then i still feel empty. I feel like there’s such a huge void in my heart and every morning I wake up feeling so devoid of any feeling whatsoever. I really can’t put my finger on just one problem that makes me feel this way but I know that break up is one of them. Im really just struggling to keep things together and on the rare occasion I’m feeling better I’m still unsure if it’s me repressing and avoiding my feelings or if it’s progress. I guess just all the events that unfolded about a year ago left me pretty traumatized in a way and I don’t think I’ve really gotten anything off my chest or any real closure. Just looking for advice i guess. Thank you ,1.8717932489451488,3.9048963481012677,3.5293924050632945,88.51961603375533,79.18987341772151,6.491814345991561,23.191561181434608,7.554174236665415,1.0431353586497891,605,20,125,9,15,201,95,158,0.136,0.725,0.14,-0.0945,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,2,12,8,0,3,6,0,4,4,4,1,2,35,23,13,0,3,10,0,9,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,3,10,0,0,1,2,5,0,2,2,10,20,3,15,21,1,23,0,1,1,0,3,10,0,6,10,78,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758946247788278,0.11574058504931138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758132897787635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744627489664098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547671673280065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118106160821903,0.11000910583663016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5281525168985689,0.09327774973791016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876705734130747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472361651601024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410357615885838,0.0,0.0,0.11605476852173725,0.0,0.0,0.07175671541767406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186242955178885,0.0,0.0,0.06378889156661327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964417031120456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715510197261958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695240647022392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283451693479284,0.0,0.12493586800188462,0.0,0.13125682495464433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861488046662374,0.2509354631115695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21601426905941368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20854342272677315,0.0,0.0,0.1364979416619002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020940044622605,0.0,0.0,0.0867435258137434,0.08366265247061531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072774784772828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522443832577934
mentalhealth,OKave,2019/02/22,"Brother's episode, please advise. My brother just had an episode, I believe to be exaggerated by some kind of illicit drugs. He told me he's been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, but it was because he was high.

Today, he was sitting out in the rain with a bonfire going. I didn't have my glasses, so I couldn't see what was inside. I asked him what's going, to which he would yell to be left alone. I went inside to get my glasses, only to realize they're not on my desk, my laptops are crammed into my backpack, along with the majority of things that were on there, like controllers and headsets.

My jacket, glasses, and blanket, were gone. I didn't think he'd have an episode this bad. I asked him to speak with me, and he was spewing out ridiculous theories of what I'm doing, and that there's cameras all over the house, yet wouldn't show me where. After a long one sided argument, I realized he was having an episode. He only acts this way when he takes some kind of drugs.

I had the cops give him the option to leave and go to the hospital.

After that, I went into the backyard to extinguish the fire. I saw the remainder of my blanket, and lipo batteries for my airsoft guns. He'd burnt them. I believe he also threw my other belongings in the fire.

He told me the house has bad ""juju."" I don't know what to do, this was his final straw, as he's a recovering addict. I'm so hurt, and so confused. I don't know what went wrong, and when it happened, but he's been acting like this for a while, just on and off. Part of me feels bad, but the other part is just exhausted of him, and doesn't want to deal with it.

Sorry if this is the wrong place, I just want to know if I'm thinking right. Thanks for reading, and for any help.",3.936914542020777,4.674278521246457,4.821037535410767,86.69527679414546,71.1529745042493,7.583050047214353,28.02278092540132,7.6454224807358475,1.484006704438149,1350,47,286,15,24,439,168,353,0.16699999999999998,0.7909999999999999,0.042,-0.9927,0,1,2,1,0,0,55.0,0,0,1,1,14,14,1,1,20,0,34,5,0,1,1,50,64,24,0,7,10,2,3,2,0,2,5,2,1,0,20,21,0,1,8,2,0,10,8,9,0,1,23,7,38,5,44,34,6,38,0,1,2,0,32,17,0,6,11,192,58,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539302995495655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962953797134932,0.0,0.08464887130453345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198219485684128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19791247633854536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651430674681238,0.06452568410318046,0.0,0.0,0.2385152777305148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872070764070095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091275588623348,0.0,0.10743636531830483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455067170809821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535213606131142,0.0,0.0,0.11595441140821575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530269036339814,0.10154176232345373,0.1804723997649061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360354027189703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094958077676547,0.11183721456101636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442752943292097,0.113315503840022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22045470343490733,0.17451854543082349,0.0,0.0,0.11208074637116404,0.11500723759234815,0.0,0.0,0.10342673858515658,0.0,0.0,0.09367465449993394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172726252382933,0.16100865358694252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22925226976066385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059158918972402,0.11619242602547325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105879475734008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039603131134574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434940775040853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849133916468572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795866516104279,0.0,0.0,0.09745322367333242,0.0,0.0,0.07032258868241957,0.13564987686583407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033421097126667,0.20229001030849444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486712524363965,0.08401946269388103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29437434242176197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519339333074783,0.2314625339042725,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,submarinedreams,2019/02/22,"Everything is a crisis Does anyone else feel like you're having an ongoing crisis? Even when things are going semi-normally, my brain will react as though the least desirable part of my life is a crisis.

When something bad actually happens, that's an all consuming crisis in it of itself, but once it passes and my brain capacity opens back up, the normal, day-to-day shit (e.g. why did my coworker use that tone, she must hate me, I'm definitely getting fired) fills that newly opened brain capacity as a crisis again.

It's like there's a designated space in my brain that's designated as the crisis center and must be full at all times regardless of what's going on in my life. It's exhausting.",5.5925787728026535,6.6528638134328375,6.771890547263683,73.03024046434496,67.5820895522388,10.134660033167496,27.575456053067995,10.25414643259724,2.841213266998342,557,17,100,14,9,188,87,134,0.253,0.691,0.056,-0.9847,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,2,0,9,0,9,8,5,2,4,15,17,9,0,5,1,0,2,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,11,4,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,1,2,8,2,12,12,5,20,0,0,0,0,1,11,1,0,7,64,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.1482182186689142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620178742884903,0.15562451818817802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679047993958255,0.12681794592012582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6782172510087463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19590700659196314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329159173501022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268807433593569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003188593452262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365047836326614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679781048721716,0.10850694400340184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935384088350024,0.0,0.17263992041740062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343117376760477,0.0,0.0,0.1499553653119511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21456226776423615,0.14840704679745315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881542158873592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175296998921268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447706266392892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590815730807006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692878401454825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090589582806084,0.0,0.14922661218730313,0.0,0.08856558502501688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311801998320995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370529288957098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Droct12,2019/02/22,"I feel like im drowning I just dont even know where to start. Im just done with so much of this bullshit i dont even know what to do. Im currently a college student putting myself through college(working and finical aid) and i feel stretched paper thin. I work 36ish hours a week between work study and a part time job to pay tuition and bills etc. Ive lost all drive i had, and have to force myself to do anything. I never get enough sleep, and my sleep schedule is so fucked up because work( I work till 2am+ on weekends incl sunday) On top of all this my classes are really fucking hard, and i have almost no time to do anything. all my free time goes to homework, but im finding it difficult to focus on that. I gained 20+lbs at school, and forget to eat half the time till 7pm, which has fucked up my diet. I just dont know what to so. Im three years in and i want to quit so  bad. I keep loosing interest in my hobbies I dont know whats wrong with me. Everyone else seems to do this soo easily while im fucking struggling so hard. My moral compass has gone to shit and i fucking tried to shoplift 3 weeks ago. I just dont know anymore. I cant think clearly and my rational seems to gone to shit. I just wanna talk to someone about this. Anyone.",0.7453639326453043,2.8695029809885995,2.296027973927213,95.33090779467683,83.82889733840304,4.973872895165671,22.70084193373167,6.18269132825596,0.2996302009777292,976,35,218,8,28,317,141,263,0.185,0.74,0.075,-0.9865,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,8,14,15,7,1,4,0,19,11,4,0,5,40,41,20,1,2,6,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,13,2,1,11,1,4,4,8,12,0,2,5,5,29,4,35,36,7,34,1,1,0,5,1,12,7,3,19,133,39,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709333293851359,0.0,0.07579114980525609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750627036469447,0.05292319412420909,0.0,0.12457045541236927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319677787778084,0.046139037666947054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745566532562925,0.4435320854924229,0.0,0.0,0.07744828248956134,0.06322807152308936,0.0,0.0,0.07820650514877832,0.08441274080245799,0.099983147101052,0.0,0.0,0.0723236532474879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654081030325767,0.054071915363609016,0.0,0.0,0.06917796364023845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34986422500829256,0.03954414353329681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560414840912124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453797561850321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4905397344138954,0.0,0.07510920710727811,0.0672754610685059,0.0,0.0,0.2079822387298716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03697760243594855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262299348362825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055639793209991635,0.0,0.05837567594099809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196332403703266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608789823709766,0.0,0.08050408979191308,0.0,0.0,0.048488023353984826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660085358928496,0.0,0.1378080268203846,0.0,0.0,0.15538641814838886,0.0,0.0,0.15148642306832732,0.0,0.0641306629390761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05357274537603978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791261063821464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083558959405479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048498166778219054,0.0,0.0,0.1765384090976184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051387557237441164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04464306791205112,0.0,0.12142557896428455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755108298444698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275354782150887,0.0,0.04874094476187043
mentalhealth,conrad098,2019/02/22,Emotionally Abusive Parent Need help in dealing with an emotionally abusive parent. Wondering if anyone has gone through something similar that I could maybe talk to?,10.250384615384617,13.357839423076925,8.995384615384618,53.72461538461542,58.615384615384606,11.353846153846154,47.615384615384606,11.20814326018867,6.878600000000001,139,9,15,4,2,43,23,26,0.254,0.665,0.08199999999999999,-0.7717,2,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,10,2,0,0.0,0.5026996275766743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833239617551733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937558674295414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21870580955369048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4772552412305939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219218007847456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21312195917487006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729824783287624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47111011175478995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331482863588784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050914871195655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300555022298339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cucumberfggt,2019/02/22,"Concerned for my mom So I’m really not sure how to approach this but the past 2-3 days my mom hasn’t been the way she usually is. She’s been very quiet, pacing around the rooms, low energy, doesn’t pay attention to somebody when they speak to her the first time(however this ones not too off from her usual self) but I catch her looking off into the window or spacing out on simple objects, looking visibly sad and scared even at times. Her voice cracks sometimes and she acts like everything is fine. She even says “I’m just fine, everything is well” that’s the gist of it all. My brother and I had spoken to her about it at the table and she just declines any type of help or denies anything is wrong with her. We initially thought to approach her in a way where we let her express herself because she’s always been a closed person, but it’s like she mentally is incapable of expressing herself atm.  She doesn’t get defensive but she literally just repeats herself by saying she’s fine. Clearly she’s not. This has happened before and comes in phases. And I’m starting to really get concerned at this point. She’s been diagnosed with psychosis’s twice, and that was 2-3 years ago about, my dad at the time would notice the patterns too, but now since he’s working abroad, I don’t want to concern him with this as well.. I’m not so sure as to what to do, and I don’t want this to get worse for her. I only remember the doctor telling my dad 2-3 years ago that these were started because of too much stress and lack of sleep etc. So I’m wondering maybe she just needs a full nights rest... I know what it’s like to live with depression and anxiety and sadly my family is very dismissive of mental health, so this just feels worrisome as heck when someone who is in denial of it has to experience it and refuse it. ",4.4441483516483515,5.379591293956048,5.097740659340662,84.44725934065936,70.12637362637363,8.461362637362637,28.570989010989013,8.726425361277474,2.038278153846153,1437,51,291,24,25,463,184,364,0.14300000000000002,0.773,0.084,-0.9801,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,2,0,1,2,24,18,1,2,13,0,24,4,1,1,4,57,45,29,0,5,16,5,1,3,0,1,3,5,2,2,21,23,0,2,6,0,2,5,9,8,2,3,8,8,41,10,45,35,6,45,0,4,2,0,46,20,1,3,21,197,62,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285444012790114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582058577884022,0.0,0.0,0.07013860884145283,0.0,0.07890167372384836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487527703304425,0.09181629941533734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125746143932981,0.0,0.08776438323896772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884581524592983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651664606972753,0.0,0.08883416877438949,0.10468473790490193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556796778925134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502815393923288,0.13624574592339128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853908247116459,0.10089052692235798,0.09723103536046572,0.0,0.05215058785261227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773067123133797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616588841862626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912061949536649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963279691243212,0.0,0.0,0.06913244175818095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056682943228279416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546744550545804,0.0,0.1511667067626664,0.0,0.09107434343172782,0.0,0.1732229309796705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361780388988176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078813431112523,0.0,0.0,0.2415922020655102,0.0,0.0,0.0758196290946596,0.07647686357272772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967897264954268,0.0,0.0,0.11742535934472688,0.0,0.0,0.06989020575758291,0.07844247453473037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845862087971888,0.0,0.09005770537910465,0.0,0.0,0.09750045988796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214800897470388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116837300869039,0.0,0.0,0.16404183615065046,0.1032609445012768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759731766852466,0.0,0.0,0.08531831814153226,0.0,0.10321429814241924,0.0,0.0873900278400426,0.0,0.1020079111521439,0.0,0.1460057793048935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118146305948235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944161040311441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014874158777013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188148974346289,0.1804249610736204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22718786243811984,0.17020229282614147,0.12166906652455275,0.16373516369361107,0.0,0.0,0.1854701548101668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111850726251441,0.075087011382416,0.0,0.10510827970873504,0.07326756307967155,0.11276719304857605,0.0,0.13283731446020816
mentalhealth,crzyskater32441,2019/02/22,I feel unlovable and want to die I am 14 with severe ocd. Ocd subconscious compulsions make me do things I'd never do normally. Here it goes....plz dont judge me I'm suicidal over this crap. So I had a subconscious urge to itch my posterior and then I had something on my hand so I had a subconscious urge to put my hand in my mouth.......again this was a compulsion type thing. It was subconscious based on obsessions I have. Dont judge to harsh.....help,0.5288095238095245,2.9770019450549485,2.4092582417582453,91.29615842490843,89.98901098901098,7.428937728937727,20.770146520146522,8.344100000000001,1.462713553113553,351,12,77,10,12,116,56,91,0.207,0.71,0.083,-0.91,0,0,1,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,3,0,11,4,4,1,1,8,15,5,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,5,3,12,0,9,10,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,48,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26390119752617025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5960256035080082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285709764473468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043768645828272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973304042990753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961154481320816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24913918694689946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25562037646088626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287262610435821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957562050294872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781396818772591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33786300608316083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998019514860908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Joe_Tortellini,2019/02/22,"Severe depression, hostile work environment, no way out I have two occupational certifications: one in audio engineering/digital communications and one to perform cell phone repairs. I work at the EasyTech bench at a staples where I have to act as tech support and make sales (with no commission/incentive). My managers have gone after me multiple times, calling me an idiot and such. Then when I defend myself I get reported. Oddly enough I was also given employee of the month and opportunity for advancement, but that’s the very last thing I want.
I have this job out of pure necessity. I have student loans and insurance to pay while I work shit hours at staples, and try to get contract work as an audio engineer since that’s what I’m passionate about. I’m also intern at a production company, where I’ve given them anywhere between 25 and 40 hours a week for the past 10 MONTHS and have never received any type of compensation despite claims of the company’s growth and promises to pay its workers. 
On top of this, I deal with severe depression and every single time I think I found my way out, it crashes and burns. For over a year I’ve been stuck in the same spot, I can’t go back to school, and I feel trapped.",7.382458193979932,7.452326804347828,7.830000000000003,70.43730769230773,63.56521739130434,11.076923076923077,35.953177257525084,10.727762888450028,3.9269799331103674,975,42,173,23,13,322,143,230,0.149,0.77,0.08199999999999999,-0.9294,2,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,9,8,9,3,0,12,0,9,2,1,1,2,26,24,20,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,8,17,0,0,3,0,4,6,4,5,0,3,7,3,21,4,32,17,3,38,0,2,0,1,6,14,1,0,16,113,29,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22380841899947346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951591024117936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075996855638014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428870340922541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426457223738018,0.2410478309650371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458798866098854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789941914267253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075422812448212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342909238499086,0.0,0.0,0.14621822483753166,0.0,0.07952703491877783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27561124111194313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886171188577412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406390847608268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934062305092453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233860516389524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792480184324436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18964417336251807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358169120228966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161946412411178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161684671304329,0.14363900817822073,0.11575385807814505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879408301381034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296513438637947,0.0896632879179029,0.0,0.0,0.16319188182796668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500518568152774,0.0,0.1366940124419504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545921484111805,0.08253599089717435,0.22214428640226502,0.11224565143936877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074909795879456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090112135239242
mentalhealth,burneraccount06,2019/02/22,"I dont matter (not sure if this belongs here) I've been told that my whole life. I dont have anybody to turn to to unload my nonsense. I honestly believe that I dont matter, that I'm a waste of space. Sometimes I wish I was never born. I'm not sure if this belongs on here, so if it doesn't I'll delete and leave.
",0.5404694835680743,1.7400447605633858,2.819366197183101,95.92557511737093,80.26760563380282,5.2967136150234735,21.6924882629108,5.46131890053228,-0.10857934272300483,242,7,60,1,6,83,44,71,0.195,0.718,0.087,-0.4717,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,3,12,12,5,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,0,8,3,5,9,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,2,38,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22513912227468755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7025951384837359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21159031070878387,0.0,0.0,0.14114530093967015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412062795980033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763622668515926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3766733851675105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909454010625219,0.0,0.0,0.2173568292846996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231022086842513,0.2297937626202552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theguynamedalan,2019/02/22,"Ex problems My ex and I had an argument just then because it’s been like 2 months since we broke up from our one year relationship and she decided to sleep with someone that she won’t name. She keeps on telling me that I shouldn’t be mad at her for doing that which I obviously am (but I do know that if that’s what she wants then she has every right to do it) and I should talk to her when I get my head around it. I’ve been having mental breakdowns all day because god did I put an assload of my time into her and her wellbeing and now she just moves on like that and fucks someone right away. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting (like she’s saying) or if that’s actually fucked how she would just go sleep with someone right afterwards and think I should be ok with it. Also I don’t know how to control the anger, sadness and the non stop flashbacks I get. I’m asking reddit for help only because I want a non bias standpoint and a bunch of options that I have with resolving this situation. Let me be clear, my intentions are to get over her and move on but that clearly hasn’t happened because I get flashbacks every time I see her at school(which is every day).",5.1963129816241835,4.975132522821578,5.714442797866036,84.75337136929463,68.1701244813278,8.711440426793123,30.07735625370481,8.192908349453996,1.8410708950800243,922,31,200,11,14,298,129,241,0.091,0.836,0.073,-0.4821,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,0,2,9,13,4,0,6,1,24,5,3,4,5,52,43,22,0,10,10,2,0,3,0,5,0,1,0,0,16,17,0,3,5,0,0,4,5,7,0,1,4,2,36,6,24,30,2,29,0,2,1,2,25,13,2,5,15,136,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.1137338691168038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320325693979653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375227760291154,0.108956487543768,0.0,0.10950052209577583,0.0,0.0,0.2841858998000738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071830076153784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503274162035804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29458971841715553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21549318022093025,0.2435657217853893,0.0,0.0662368172058126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306286049639243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961169685510213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811955322023967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359306568239507,0.0,0.0,0.12810327792819187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917805176021233,0.0,0.17081814693283304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745279953714803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302736537234964,0.24774379586377185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897582537805994,0.0886398759872821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152053245948378,0.0,0.11716275911784105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251287518018268,0.0,0.2985936281065815,0.0,0.0926835117031006,0.0,0.11795262538776025,0.09287353041008536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640956872364552,0.13100464323420055,0.23326399738722506,0.0,0.2962517925223099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743920391530272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984494977667512,0.0,0.0,0.09367673039396547,0.10186793981380043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467914298522361,0.0,0.0,0.13591995297135515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374858586778748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279223397519224,0.0,0.0,0.07505298086321342
mentalhealth,jmf337,2019/02/22,"My anxiety and fear keeps me from going out with my kids! Please help! I’ve always been a more fearful/anxious person but thought I was getting over it. I had a 3 yo and 2 yo and it was challenging having two kids so close together but I managed to handle my anxiety and go out with the kids and actually give them a fun life. But now that baby #3 is here I’m having crippling anxiety and am so afraid to go out with all 3 of them. I didn’t predict this because I was doing so well with 2, I felt ready for the challenge of a 3rd...but it feels like I’m back at square one again. Terrified to go out with 2 small children and a baby. I just imagine a billion different terrifying scenarios and start to get panic attacks. ",2.048830769230772,3.7432048266666698,4.171333333333333,85.70746153846156,77.4,7.282051282051282,26.871794871794872,8.139509932561175,1.7605641025641026,564,23,118,10,13,194,91,150,0.16899999999999998,0.696,0.134,-0.8211,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,2,9,9,1,3,8,0,11,1,0,0,1,28,25,14,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,18,0,1,4,0,0,4,1,4,1,3,8,3,13,5,19,17,2,16,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,0,5,81,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.18099856017403906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433152064205313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4256676359114408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110065881811331,0.0,0.14262017787650613,0.0,0.11306490996264147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378373508395333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20871291802381028,0.09378262164757974,0.13250463276293456,0.1780867740344838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938079012577645,0.17792620681387475,0.4216428628643848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432116100597447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648602643885425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100771916491916,0.09061457502070863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568385119567885,0.0,0.0,0.21761701196437475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195115065409024,0.0,0.20359778233274836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128140374571992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472478276611931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118384144872365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676588003800075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,otaotay55,2019/02/22,"Lamotragine generic? Just got prescribed lamotragine, worried about conflicting reviews on the generic online and $1,000+ cost monthly of brand. Anyone take this and can recommend a good generic brand? Thx! :)",7.1013636363636365,11.081177848484852,5.50628787878788,70.27943181818182,73.54545454545455,8.148484848484847,41.583333333333336,8.841846274778883,5.191369696969698,171,11,20,4,4,50,28,33,0.118,0.603,0.279,0.7685,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34676898238848736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159663878493629,0.3966441801043084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3958502422723797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3728810768119746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5036456290593893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ryangcsling,2019/02/22,"i haven’t felt normal in 2 years, any advice?(15f) I’m not sure what i’m asking for but if anyone has any advice or wants to explain what’s going on please do lol i’ll just explain.
When i was 13/14 i had 1 friend in school but she tended to leave me at lunchtimes so i spent the whole school year alone. This caused me to feel so extremely lonely. Ever since i’ve been having periods of time where i don’t want to exist but instead of dying i’d prefer to just be in a coma or seclude myself. It’s like hopelessness, where i feel like there’s no return from that feeling. It’s basically the textbook definition of depression but then all of a sudden i’ll feel fine and happy and hopeful, actual hope is rare but sometimes happens. I don’t feel like i’m built for life you know? i’m just not able to do this , i feel like i think differently from people my age in a negative way.  Also gonna include i was a straight A student until this started:/",1.2158569011360891,3.4602884923857893,3.1030891950688897,89.52348561759729,82.85786802030456,5.579792119893644,21.056079284505678,6.868970318607317,0.5189267101764563,751,23,155,9,21,251,123,197,0.13,0.659,0.211,0.9475,1,3,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,1,0,0,12,13,0,0,7,1,13,2,0,1,3,36,39,16,1,7,13,0,7,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,12,0,1,1,7,3,0,0,6,7,16,10,21,31,2,23,0,3,0,0,6,9,0,5,16,94,24,4,0.13443851838897902,0.0,0.1311926009582199,0.0,0.0,0.1313717642367696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392377605152069,0.0,0.10751043458436764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828456051954748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400253790882207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568186682771426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810539117973586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157916988937369,0.0,0.13952595698301465,0.1404596379364401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160733663326352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4078569259378464,0.2881287131975182,0.12908206042842216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386686581816132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640450813732882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888353782134894,0.1431123026991597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670555659647152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388389383558812,0.0,0.0,0.14235097958428172,0.0,0.0,0.09495790135746604,0.2627194773319666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317212040210206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320274126281937,0.0,0.0,0.14757312206171852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721179158791938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120893166067956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296313227071435,0.0,0.09515627526697606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670671256710014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861427741942067,0.0,0.0,0.07839218119853991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15859064265544906,0.10671103829922472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500958047050195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314799620507595
mentalhealth,RevolutionaryBox5,2019/02/22,"I strongly hate myself for being attractive Despite having social anxiety and overall being an awkward moron, I'm generally treated well because I happen to be an attractive guy. I hate this, I see so many other people out there that have issues worse than I do and no one seems to care or accommodate them. I don't deserve the leniency I get in life, I'm stupid, uninteresting, an overall shit person, and I deserve to have a terrible life. ",6.901686746987952,7.423906879518075,8.370746987951808,64.61491566265063,64.5421686746988,10.495421686746988,37.081927710843374,10.355215969177356,4.255218795180723,353,17,55,8,5,123,59,83,0.281,0.57,0.15,-0.931,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,3,13,5,1,5,0,8,3,1,0,0,7,17,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,1,0,1,10,6,7,14,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,2,0,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481696501202562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930350401226507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329910908423348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939212510490785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262704566999567,0.20207923912868234,0.0,0.0,0.4512318379588161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23851522280264856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228204814094498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316831347178896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548508805702775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584268047894158,0.1995346104497613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18210063518585853,0.20803577607827056,0.0,0.0,0.23457221496724226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329470826332564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20546667791676906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23288112392427365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,27-teacups,2019/02/22,"How do I stop being a stressed wreck? Hi, so I've been super stressed recently and have had multiple breakdowns in the last few days. In the next week, I have three exams and an important music test. So while I've been preparing for those tests, I've also been caught up in some pretty bad drama between two of my best friends. I haven't been getting enough sleep (maybe 4 hours a night? if I'm lucky) and with my already existing anxiety, I've just been a mental wreck. I'm having trouble studying for my exams because of how stressed I am, and I'm constantly frustrated with myself. I might be fine for a second, but then I remember everything I have to do and I break down again. I cancelled plans today because I've just been so tired and dead inside and I'm having trouble just functioning. 

I think I know that I should take a second to breathe and relax, but it's hard to when I'm so worked up over everything. Does anyone have advice on how to relax a bit and still be functional through all of this? Thanks.",5.032076544145512,5.592129812807883,5.555172413793104,83.04745358090187,68.60591133004928,8.807730200833651,29.9010989010989,8.841846274778883,2.250572110647973,804,29,160,13,13,259,118,203,0.18,0.7040000000000001,0.116,-0.8886,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,4,14,15,1,3,9,0,22,3,2,3,1,29,33,23,1,2,6,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,11,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,7,0,4,8,1,16,8,22,20,6,25,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,4,15,110,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419449334614118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16029637634013558,0.1161631768603002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112236150173324,0.0,0.0,0.10156812665332972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128478724296415,0.17709647722398358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243984305539096,0.0,0.15858466978551758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569728437840324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367972112116296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711669977026668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009086944795413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610979624439224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222636342793192,0.0,0.07589157542836353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012309204173886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430503708890809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983027749753888,0.118405071917473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459316959760121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463864115197614,0.15409632263051867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448407183568344,0.13631527025551307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477801246396538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342525314191265,0.0,0.16454957380874782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536341257438887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160036326193405,0.12144261744899575,0.499179392529386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921632083529158,0.0,0.0,0.13373451863811714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930757870400566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695328726502404,0.13768808153700354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189645603167164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651761375412498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057499242934263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fraaaakkkkk,2019/02/22,"How to fit in when youre not very emotional? Im a very stoic, skeptical,  and pattern oriented individual. I had a turbulent childhood and as a result of an autistic mother,  developed reactive attachment disorder. Its led to me distancing myself from emotions/emotional decision making as best as a human can, as a self defense mechanism. Heck, no joke, I loved star trek as a child and my favorite characters were Spock, Odo and Data, the most emotionless characters in their respective crews. I even dressed up as spock two years in a row for halloween in primary school. Im often unfortunately self away, and I tend to just quietly detach and just observe most social situations.  As a result Ive struggled to form social bonds with most people as im seen as a stick in the mud or even worse, threatening. I have a very intimidating presence to many people, but i cant help but be who i am. 

The situation is made worse by my other eccentricities. Out of experience and necessity, I dont see the world the same as the  majority and have a hard time relating to them. I dont care about material posessions, status, sports, or gossip in the way that many do. I think  excessive shopping is just a symptom of low  self satisfaction.   Im not  generally drawn to arbitrary notions of what a ""good"" life is and dont subscribe to any idea of an ""american dream"". But because I tend to keep to myself, and require strict routines to function ( as a result of ADHD) people often disregard me or look down on me. Which is ironic because im generalizing other people, which is the very thing im protesting. I struggle alot with feeling inferior one minute, and knowing in some sense Im miles ahead of my peers. Being human is messy and obnoxious

​

TLDR does anyone else thats stoic struggle with finding meaningful freinships? How do you cope with the inherent flaws of being human?",6.3600224243179255,7.470340719197707,7.571379095552512,67.8059710975458,65.87679083094555,10.768705618537435,35.231219633736146,10.756437189917307,4.21305247290395,1497,70,248,41,23,510,198,349,0.165,0.769,0.066,-0.9863,2,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,2,2,3,11,15,3,3,26,0,22,3,0,8,0,57,35,32,0,0,11,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,7,10,17,0,4,7,4,1,1,7,9,0,2,4,6,25,6,51,28,9,23,0,2,3,1,18,16,1,10,5,173,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413030156121907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486408819139375,0.09517230803179648,0.053263047841991804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054766005106368865,0.08025225718051096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358803429213266,0.0,0.0,0.09549124214009183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219627060446445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985660098740452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976616045320138,0.0,0.06854191426100263,0.0,0.2753856511597632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542970327475706,0.1762080546945958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346460819873793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661596160848529,0.0,0.0,0.03960299899960417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158677348683397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569450694270727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016297492162864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052498967596053527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841833208726843,0.5922239902261628,0.0,0.0,0.06961802486380399,0.0,0.0,0.04304485599104756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532260113739966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577248545773355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069052371217248,0.07411212103204741,0.052281919419801655,0.15881661035011446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05307441128990152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21720017001575453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926813202123006,0.06241413657070074,0.0,0.24512723477036866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607905413117386,0.0,0.1596830347612917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456439459796008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140868991423075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203502633968988,0.05018689618755444,0.0,0.0,0.04567139027653544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651122740631361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585022148388449,0.0,0.062169994538549524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963782068648874,0.0,0.0,0.09517230803179648,0.05043812781694476
mentalhealth,LightSpeedSmack,2019/02/22,"My mind is in a different place and constantly imagining how situations would play out. A few weeks back a co-worker was in a bad mood, treated me very passive aggressively and sent me in for a loop. The behaviour went well past the border of bullying and although it is sorted now, the negative thoughts in my mind have been uncontrollable ever since. 

​

I've fallen into a depression. It feels like I'm watching myself from afar. I recently saw a car but pulled out in front of it anyway. At the time it felt like I had no control over what I was doing and I'm feeling like this 24/7. I'm fighting to be present so much that migraines are a commodity, and the worst part is that I'm doing well otherwise. Regularing the gym, diet, clean room, all the things that set me into depression in the past are accounted for but socially and internally I'm a wreck. 

​

I want to work on my social side next week so that these types of social difficulties don't trigger my depression in the future but I'm at a loss for how to get out of it right now.

​

I'm stuck in my head, my confidence is at 0%. How do I get out of my head and get my confidence back?",4.561474358974358,5.494517572649574,5.847083333333334,79.19062500000005,69.85470085470085,9.610683760683765,30.009615384615394,9.827888789773867,2.799658974358976,928,36,185,22,16,312,128,234,0.18600000000000005,0.6940000000000001,0.12,-0.9598,1,0,0,0,2,0,34.0,0,0,0,3,13,17,2,1,19,0,17,4,2,5,2,33,36,16,0,2,3,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,13,13,1,1,5,2,1,6,3,9,2,0,10,5,17,7,31,24,5,45,0,4,2,0,5,23,0,1,18,128,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243767142809886,0.3637779092172352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534691689774216,0.0833229077483611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078406787770787,0.1119262290923997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578544498632313,0.0,0.0,0.10426234642066798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902683962854123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091658293429273,0.14258414327174845,0.0958168389069311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564130229860008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048326226142924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462613186934036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20152477361096055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335926786868675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613088713566228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806599191962656,0.19052724022374615,0.0,0.0,0.10426234642066798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853345508525177,0.0,0.0,0.08522259604632595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254972266926258,0.11217140695202166,0.0,0.3051788998514072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629797217061649,0.0,0.0,0.07922441999918609,0.058190045716140164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233959820424012,0.058860441214796236,0.0,0.16009569876962998,0.0,0.17945161339920307,0.09250902319006236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530084747802513,0.0,0.0,0.0708900168759347,0.0,0.3637779092172352,0.0
mentalhealth,thatwentwell,2019/02/22,"Abilify (Aripiprazole) causing me to become insanely restless Has anyone else experienced this? I have ADHD, so I take stimulatants which perks me up enough, but taking this along with it is making me restless and actually makes it even harder to focus. ",8.191317829457365,10.166814953488373,8.66046511627907,58.500620155038796,62.25581395348837,11.314728682170546,35.26356589147287,11.20814326018867,4.882928682170544,205,9,27,6,3,68,36,43,0.097,0.903,0.0,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,7,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,5,7,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,23,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.27650411729968394,0.0,0.3405259606159533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981216057808509,0.2903207204772298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129325971333273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910736505227265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23669862085763066,0.0,0.0,0.2927714141028501,0.0,0.18714688316234995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782703452128036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42608077109109904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lighttunnel7,2019/02/22,"Letting people down when you set out to do your best to help people This post is about when you do your best to help people, but by trying to do too much and not looking after yourself you end up not helping anyone.

This isn't a plea for advice (or maybe it is); this is more advice to anyone that this post resonates with. I won't be the only one like this.

I keep very few close friends. These couple people I can go to when I need support (which is rare). The majority of my relationships with people are one sided; the kind where friends will depend on me. I don't set out for them to be like this they just end up being like this. Deep and meaningful from one perspective but superficial from another because I find it hard to share and to entrust my worries or problems. I won't ask for anything or need anything in return but they will see me as a source of support or guidance. 

I spread myself thin, trying to support as many friends / family as possible which leaves me burnt out, worn out, often neglecting my responsibilities in my own life. More than that I have neglected my physical and mental health as the burden leaves me constantly laden with worry, unable to do things like go to the gym and to eat properly. I find it hard to allow people to get to know me as it will show them my weaknesses; as a result I dip in and out of people's lives to allow myself to focus on my own life and immediate family and to just recuperate.

The end result of trying to be Mr Reliable, I become  to unreliable. People won't remember what you have done for them in the past, they will remember whether you were there or not recently when they needed you most. Was your phone on when they needed to speak? Had they heard from you in weeks when they needed you?

Some advice:

This approach to life is at it's bare bones selfish and has lost me lots of friends who I love and leaves people thinking that I see them as acquaintances and don't care about them.

I have found that when you spread yourself this thin, it is hard to give anyone the attention that they need and deserve

If you don't look after yourself physically and mentally then you will be unable to help anyone. It will leave you weak.

You think you're doing right but this is a recipe to be alone.",6.733348281016442,6.166009939461883,6.89696188340807,78.71372384155454,65.0762331838565,9.854857997010463,30.018310911808676,9.188382445141503,2.298523467862481,1787,51,353,27,24,576,191,446,0.107,0.7440000000000001,0.149,0.9751,0,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,16,13,3,15,25,0,0,12,0,42,9,1,5,0,67,70,39,0,8,16,0,5,4,4,9,6,2,0,1,28,22,1,3,10,2,0,3,10,8,0,3,8,11,59,17,71,46,12,49,0,3,4,1,47,24,0,11,22,267,87,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19636883340904468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937552818828728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023887375013879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734790603736498,0.0,0.11024473466612167,0.0,0.06262127358699066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040833004491349856,0.0739788911117206,0.0,0.0,0.1405917699485097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829495299681705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238622626182102,0.0,0.0,0.07411684832879814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854819021046965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854165640756514,0.0,0.0,0.17798461006875468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629366370673006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244486416966932,0.0,0.0,0.07344482202666736,0.20700760054554074,0.0,0.034996529449907235,0.06425743941564499,0.07613743697658185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001431372512094,0.0,0.0,0.07120117323216693,0.0,0.0,0.179592643815101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953871911671588,0.0,0.06975383539601306,0.0368128167279124,0.0,0.0,0.2837067864417733,0.0,0.06849597993733836,0.14193896550654453,0.13090057207050065,0.0,0.059148359672587865,0.0,0.11249987470737054,0.0,0.07312127072001408,0.05694765220715979,0.06045594145692066,0.0,0.0,0.06791156150438729,0.06729472760412221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500882892208105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049241164118794166,0.2980080358167221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617087552784546,0.050944574756842935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394408898512878,0.41794628424078734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551472800967457,0.12830487683447242,0.0,0.0,0.06409492386496855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613891024280166,0.07191606463115124,0.15176029679877484,0.057204221913153615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675562121922133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280389524153511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04450138916653582,0.08584166302609787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643381797139947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05526905851770656,0.0,0.0,0.05373076099900224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360516060854592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,erichand,2019/02/22,"Was wondering if anyone could give some clarification on the TCA protriptyline? I won't go into details as to how I came to the conclusion that either amitriptyline or protriptyline are my narrowed down choices for antidepressants(namely because it involves way too much to put down in one post for anyone to want to read it). Based off of what neurotransmitters they affect I'd prefer opipramol(not available in the U.S. but would basically prove my conclusion correct pharmaceutically) or amineptine(which isn't available anywhere because of it being hepatoxic), so that leaves the above two and out of them protriptyline seems to be the better option but something that i'm being cautious about is that it states it's used in the cessation of smoking. The reason that could be a very serious issue is due to my past experience with bupropion(a non-competitive nicotinic antagonist) causing my baroreflex to be suppressed in a manner that shot my blood pressure up the 160 range. Now while I can find this on wikipedia that it's used as a smoking cessation it does not state what mode of action is used to achieve this(negative allosteric modulators of nicotinic receptors however do not cause this suppression in me and wouldn't be an issue), the citation also doesn't provide any linkout or useful leads to where I might find this out. Any help would be extremely appreciated and would expedite my mental health recovery.",12.248769401330378,10.960841711382118,10.639948263118992,58.611518847006685,54.65040650406504,13.823503325942351,45.534368070953434,12.563389971838223,5.902980487804879,1175,57,175,30,11,365,151,246,0.026,0.904,0.07,0.9186,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,5,7,3,0,1,13,0,24,2,1,10,2,49,35,15,0,9,9,0,0,0,0,6,1,1,0,0,19,8,0,2,10,1,0,5,6,2,0,2,2,1,13,1,36,18,3,29,0,0,0,0,5,16,0,9,4,128,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051122511027879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876695634846326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381133714453696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16024879730840388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624770069159833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503319586742867,0.0,0.2700494814750549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098877513043339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502373494553066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857321181742046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24026694170811105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608890176886334,0.07470018957474896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971421549226393,0.0,0.0,0.08810123555475571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27437771838463704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391756248464323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324602654781547,0.13943671132405905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662327602875888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906691740987875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547403114824895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588286398250906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321331653060669,0.0,0.0,0.13147523255148885,0.0,0.0,0.13514186492406766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196577327686174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118867422451913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283974519303468,0.0,0.0,0.4540866688177,0.0,0.10845148754246717,0.07752651878767455,0.10433068656554624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425407078042717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28011289645969445,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ozymxl4,2019/02/22,"My girlfriend's mental health is declining and I need help. Hi, 

My girlfriend was depressed and anxious, so she started going to therapy. She started taking antidepressants and they helped tremendously, but over the last few weeks, she has been getting increasingly irritatable and anxious. On top of that, she's imagining things and scenarios where they dont exist. One day, shes doing fantastic at work and is up for a promotion, the next, she feels like shes going to fail and everybody feels sorry for her. She's trying to change everything and trying to do so much more than shes capable of. She has frequent panic attacks and cant sleep because her mind is ""too active""?

What is going on? I'm trying to help but idk how. Is it the medication? Should she switch? She said shes not depressed anymore but she is now a different person and extremely anxious and irritable and incapable of sleeping - she is imagining things that dont exist. 

What is going on?",3.6024689532820773,6.443280825842699,4.769302188054407,77.55526611472504,77.82022471910112,8.017031342400946,28.469544648137198,8.841846274778883,2.8828044943820226,769,34,128,19,19,252,100,178,0.187,0.7170000000000001,0.096,-0.9556,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,4,6,6,1,1,5,0,22,4,2,1,0,24,35,18,0,2,4,0,2,1,2,1,2,1,0,1,7,12,0,0,4,0,0,5,4,5,0,1,3,3,22,1,17,31,4,21,0,3,0,0,27,8,0,0,9,95,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4233803021341594,0.1238894646721313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211727760085086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761515426346895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215134737163473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056462092062383,0.0,0.21519098015269855,0.0,0.0,0.13051733176129518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292816272086447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227220851904232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632904962553554,0.08924459582088318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526680408823078,0.0,0.2839851414434328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13278668191506446,0.0,0.0,0.2511985777692309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182843864119297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061030780242020126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584618720130678,0.1258924088465904,0.0,0.12613602435810756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091832346296449,0.09262838532893444,0.0,0.0,0.13285640197005902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465065913007078,0.0,0.0,0.14656953399701494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907743134317223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882982039354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25002525818019844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984041225835311,0.17684145183129482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392610675110924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285966478179926,0.0,0.16598579882292336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544423520993528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002052233965938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094500347695733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dasnotgucci12,2019/02/22,"I feel like my depression is destroying my life I've been severely depressed my whole life. Whenever I was younger it was easier to deal with; I could still have hobbies and enjoy going out. Now it feels like depression runs my life. 

Whenever I invest any time into my hobbies it feels draining and lackluster. 

I can’t retain any knowledge or learn anything new, my brain feels too clustered. I can’t talk about anything other than my anxieties, worries or things that make me angry. I will try to talk about my interest, but it always seems boring and I don’t like thinking about them. 

I try to go out and make new friends but it always seems worthless. I don’t have any desire to talk to people unless I’m trying to distract myself. 

I don’t have a therapist due to money problems. 

I don’t know how to deal with this new wave of depression, how bad it’s getting scares me. ",3.8476691729323313,5.708870713450295,4.699887218045113,83.1217105263158,72.85964912280701,7.692731829573934,28.003759398496236,8.418075326091056,2.1061759398496243,696,27,129,12,14,225,94,171,0.225,0.667,0.108,-0.9686,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,8,17,1,2,1,0,15,4,1,4,0,32,29,11,0,3,5,0,4,3,1,1,3,0,0,0,10,9,0,1,10,0,2,3,6,11,0,0,3,4,24,6,19,24,1,13,0,5,0,0,7,3,0,4,10,83,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899610655637857,0.0,0.0,0.23287428217430636,0.0,0.08732313977658644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878686555084532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530906548476936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274272578701232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113813205109564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23536377744563225,0.393263066331036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308672481865672,0.16309514172522507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819069616408784,0.0,0.05963777730635227,0.0,0.12974622291005072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273292239395524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418789676870589,0.16730128578011025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523897579888091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307354286093275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791360610684007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922451043032584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142823651841226,0.0,0.0,0.20783265687931146,0.0,0.12895509198642405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911589826648208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752442475930194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253497839897455,0.07583506075183735,0.07314162380708479,0.0,0.0,0.06656079375518928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23249761565300844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744250444043065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592314314352227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,broken224909,2019/02/22,"I've become the crazy ex New account because I do not want this associated with my other one. And if this is not the proper community to post in, please take down. 

My ""ex"" (36M) and I (35F) have been battling an on and off relationship for nearly two years. From the beginning, although we got along well, red flags and issues were flying all over.  He had a drinking problem, which he openly admitted to from the first week.  I have issues with depression and anxiety, which I openly admitted to from our first date. We seemed to accept these issues in each other and wanted to be supportive of them, since we could relate in several ways.  We would have arguments, but they typically revolved around his drinking.  Every time a major argument would come along, he would say he was going to work on quitting, go to AA, counseling, so on.  He seemed to have some anger management issues, which I had not realized I had as well until now.  I don't remember having issues arguing with others, except while I was a teenager and going through a very rough time.  

Eventually, we broke things off after one of these major fights.  He had lied about some serious stuff, and very hurtful things were said.  I tried dating other people, but I started having panic attacks and mood swings.  Eventually, I had a total nervous breakdown, basically homebound and about to lose my job/school/etc. We would still communicate during this time. He was supportive, but we would continue arguing over things that were said and done.

Today, I have become that crazy ex.  Still texting, arguing, saying abusive things while crying and in terror of myself. I've admitted to him that I felt suicidal after some of the things that we went through.  But now I am sounding like an emotionally, verbally abusive person.  I know the easy thing to say is, 'go No Contact!' But, there are circumstances that make this difficult to do. 

I don't really know why I am posting about this.  I am not sure if I am seeking words of advice or encouragement.  I am seeing a therapist and psychiatrist.  Have been reading a lot about boundaries, and healing. I guess my real fear is I am this lonely, hateful, angry, and borderline abusive person that I am afraid of.  I'm already midway through my thirties, and cannot seem to break these emotional barriers that are keeping me from having a healthy relationship. I am pretty much disgusted with myself right now. ",5.8894433371298405,7.584350662870161,6.371702021640093,73.81525234908884,67.42824601366743,9.314379271070617,31.030822892938488,9.673873057562805,3.169048348519361,1907,76,315,42,32,618,226,439,0.253,0.6759999999999999,0.071,-0.9986,1,2,2,0,1,0,68.0,9,0,2,5,14,31,9,5,16,0,48,3,0,1,3,82,79,30,1,11,13,3,2,1,0,5,1,6,0,2,30,35,2,2,12,3,1,6,8,22,3,5,19,10,45,8,56,53,10,51,0,5,2,0,41,17,0,11,25,249,75,3,0.0,0.2581557139242952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097091184614032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014643226124167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055559963501046035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646540181412573,0.0,0.08262445167616451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427314933626067,0.1604230957148409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625623008906151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057987279239701324,0.0,0.07977807761202953,0.0,0.0,0.0625540998284176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432331516436494,0.0,0.14229492044750486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339269120200234,0.0,0.0,0.08099904264166186,0.0,0.0,0.06119193858942384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172631270946977,0.0,0.0,0.06973394613984805,0.0,0.0,0.12355410630692686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510389863956396,0.0,0.058086976865479485,0.0,0.08000755904887935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170478118578809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774941549787667,0.0,0.0,0.379022055223514,0.07207174902069617,0.06455480402629807,0.0,0.0,0.07982852855358831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035482207638596205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125177760169823,0.0,0.061745442000260525,0.0,0.0,0.048479529099923806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338968904393316,0.0,0.0,0.07014424961909899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984287683062982,0.0,0.0,0.08521291417463664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050350876936238916,0.1268313481248409,0.0,0.07972336443488619,0.0,0.0,0.13911445026942582,0.07388844351576468,0.0,0.06949486503181884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724845965069607,0.07264731720350211,0.0826661808568226,0.04652714073637743,0.0,0.0,0.1559498601071899,0.0822729844054305,0.06202362747914271,0.13817107840144233,0.1732692983372022,0.0,0.07350307248980499,0.057874844376503275,0.19835249041805628,0.0,0.08204858669042961,0.0,0.06007835345172655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140623377340193,0.0,0.11600109117945236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314129826357189,0.07944287551356555,0.16483402287820115,0.06845071298355146,0.0,0.054606964046860065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432631466640568,0.2895035532335321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270493232756111,0.0,0.06884253251408493,0.0,0.0,0.049309415857814835,0.0,0.07094667366229876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985085652697025,0.08567535485964319,0.05764845845028752,0.0582575305268975,0.0,0.13060198276467716,0.06732657134360041,0.06553516946122252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052873803747317816,0.0,0.0,0.2579630404777295,0.0,0.0,0.04676983386193602
mentalhealth,yeehawdonkeykong,2019/02/22,"Certain sounds makes me wanna tear off my skin. It feels so stupid saying any of this, because it seems like it's not a big deal. I don't know why, but the sound of chewing literally makes me go insane. Not just that, though, there's other noises. It's mainly chewing gum, but also the sound of licking and slurping (basically anything involving a tongue), certain peoples' voices, some noises or clicking that people make, crickets (since i have a chameleon i always have crickets in my room), and humming. I feel dumb because obviously everyone hates these things too and finds it annoying, but I feel like it isn't normal how much I hate them. It also seems like its getting worse as I get older. I sit in classrooms all day listening to people eating and I can't focus. I scratch at my skin trying to ignore it, I plug my ears(sometimes so intensely it hurts after a while), I clench my jaw, I completely tense up, and I just, in general, feel like screaming. I feel dumb also because I feel like it's stupid how it makes me feel. It's just a general noise, so why does it literally cloud my thoughts and kinda make me want to hurt myself? I'd ask people to stop eating and such, but I'm a bit of a quiet person and I don't wanna be rude to anyone.  (also if I accidentally posted this twice sorry, it for some reason is acting like I never posted it?)",5.180409111012828,5.7613695000000025,6.216112339672713,78.36526536930563,68.28571428571428,8.364086687306504,28.80495356037152,8.313332769828598,2.0321280849181766,1061,35,198,14,17,354,144,266,0.222,0.688,0.09,-0.9927,0,0,0,0,0,2,40.0,0,0,1,0,16,20,8,0,9,0,8,7,3,8,5,55,33,26,0,5,11,0,10,6,0,0,0,8,1,1,23,8,4,2,13,0,0,2,7,12,0,1,1,20,31,8,20,31,6,19,0,2,1,0,7,8,2,7,12,131,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132567512449364,0.08148519109355774,0.0,0.0,0.06659541988224489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847458515989073,0.0,0.08058763646730407,0.0,0.09155086537658998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909074742385386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069136532698428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267722024079257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315642764152128,0.10096101706283106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569876762000943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20041265847908596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357583636668924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466126926042797,0.20988256857479587,0.0,0.0,0.08950579119155015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232824638628672,0.0,0.0556555930875361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19337021872847404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20967111581975306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381949352576477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870604500249576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268435169482017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198945228994566,0.0,0.07552926953174133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595012010047273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715679463857216,0.0855082643128847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18757878646327975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068783876081557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787747103311883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830268229997825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100829648797185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685478207649953,0.1096240605023975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187344912774047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506001004590152,0.0,0.09621523904376172,0.07774508619604796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648770397258234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776135787208996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673228818995285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979852945367687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Elysium20,2019/02/22,"Having panic attacks about a girl I""ve suffered with depression and anxiety about 2 years now. I have been on lexapro 15mg and am going to see a psychologist soon but I need help coping at work at the minute.

About 3 weeks ago a girl who works in the same office as me came onto me. I took her out for coffee and thought that went terrible but she said thanks to me and gave me her number so I could take her for dinner. I took her out and thought it went well but she went cold on me for the next week. She didn't reach out to me and just smiled and said hi as I'd walk by her. I started researching this online and read some posts about how I should have been flirting better and escalating more with touch etc. This made me feel terrible. I'm a very nervous guy and that clearly turned her off me.

This week she opened up a bit more to me but the attraction is definitely dead now. Any time I see her now I almost go into an anxiety attack. If I see other guys flirting with her that makes it even worse. I can't help but feel like shit because she was clearly physically attracted to me but I fucked it up by being a nervous, shy guy.

Clearly I'm not here for dating advice but I want to be able to move on from this and not let it ruin my work life and personal life. She's gone out tonight and the thought of one of those guys who was flirting with her during the week getting with her after her being so direct with me about her intentions makes me feel physically sick. I need to be able to move on from this and not place as much value on something like this but I just can't. I'm about to have a panic attack over this.",2.8540791855203618,4.089842620588237,3.9129411764705857,90.30015837104072,74.26470588235293,6.995475113122172,23.07692307692308,7.468242284971852,0.7211085972850677,1281,34,285,15,26,415,165,340,0.17,0.662,0.168,-0.4646,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,4,18,24,5,4,14,0,20,6,1,5,3,63,56,29,1,6,14,0,4,2,0,1,3,2,0,7,18,27,1,0,6,1,0,12,6,14,1,1,19,10,46,10,54,30,7,49,0,3,3,1,33,20,2,3,18,197,64,5,0.17779374896553926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686899689080099,0.07880171549849578,0.0,0.0890173786675797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045292305200185,0.0,0.13601173131574654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30339908488090866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054190709573738616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786220613521314,0.0970523628465535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167434201070684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709769206699797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656674773014327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914351387580547,0.05871554718947832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484679237210814,0.06350794489292602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218372799416923,0.046444947834060786,0.0,0.10104428479566872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520875283385537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917140220021925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090307710614964,0.12558098288018454,0.08686104503541324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411637207209934,0.11867870802558407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18896661797498174,0.06534943135031017,0.13183181204153432,0.0,0.0,0.09454283452547817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060238822818719326,0.0,0.0,0.20860265660783311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762132188606008,0.09287831309925082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513863238871049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892093123951125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691225696250692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125178983368862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125136417415028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843715708517206,0.0,0.0,0.06292166530860628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683938625850905,0.0,0.0,0.0818442983519774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117225653862417,0.05183648240063039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975353969811335,0.0,0.09669427205713407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334923148213307,0.05243367980853531,0.0,0.2852308421330803,0.0,0.07992896624544485,0.2472248797956053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941539501403643,0.0,0.09059350977040037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724667256838624
mentalhealth,Amyrose977,2019/02/22,"Being signed off work has got me back to where I was :( Hi! I have been the happiest I’ve ever been for the past few months, I’ve always struggled with my weight and I work a 9-5 job! I’ve been consistent in working out, eating healthy and just having my little routine and I’ve found that the gym is something that helps manage my negative feelings! When I am in the swing of this it effects all other areas of my life in a positive way also. Such as wanting to socialise, feeling good about myself. Last week I had to go into surgery to remove an lump on my back and as a result of this I have been signed off of work, strictly no gym and out of my routine which means I’ve been at home, when I’m at home I tend to just binge because I don’t have a routine. 

It’s a week in and I feel so low and depressed and I don’t know what to do, my boyfriend hasn’t been there much because he has had a friend over from overseas and he is the host so he can’t leave him. I’ve been thinking about self harm again and I have cried myself to sleep most nights and I just want this to be over :(

I don’t know what to do, I can’t go to the gym until my wound is fully heeled :( I feel rubbish!",1.4630115327380937,2.742051792968752,2.946316964285717,95.65151041666668,77.9453125,5.501190476190477,21.956101190476193,5.622346879071545,-0.03964300595238157,913,25,217,4,21,299,131,256,0.124,0.7909999999999999,0.085,-0.8761,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,5,17,6,0,1,13,0,31,7,2,2,2,36,47,19,0,2,3,0,5,0,1,0,3,0,2,1,11,15,2,0,10,3,0,3,8,4,0,0,12,5,27,2,37,33,4,35,0,2,0,0,8,18,0,1,13,151,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126696574875794,0.11723174085582627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21667137943141035,0.0,0.17177043509303666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15476101551105245,0.0,0.0,0.1213483240459268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416561173717932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744304326753042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849528068415411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447857917880886,0.10885124073102953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014203264306234,0.11817182170713038,0.11268257893335222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443557653883794,0.0,0.2826482531984363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981155477753418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485888499077466,0.11484412925257363,0.0,0.1491821345043144,0.0,0.0,0.09951475187544907,0.0,0.14120876228703638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347047979648396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245702926717296,0.0,0.10357033838845604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221569196997754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344954176581622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697896486286324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409917182764259,0.0,0.0,0.10846398157099724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728878632654974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027660339215482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620110836499827,0.11183189968302676,0.2260268699217013,0.17156602653809996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41027830235072654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ash-02,2019/02/22,Where do I go if I need to get away and get help but don’t want to be institutionalized I’m 16 and in high school and have zero friends and hate my life. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts everyday for weeks and I want to get away from the world for a while and get help but I don’t want to go to the hospital. Is there any kind of mental health retreat or somewhere I can go to get help?,1.5420168067226854,2.860885352941178,3.1668907563025246,93.9852941176471,77.82352941176471,6.739495798319329,21.55462184873949,7.447530270364453,0.3628151260504202,305,8,76,4,7,101,52,85,0.118,0.677,0.205,0.5187,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,3,0,9,2,0,0,0,15,24,11,1,5,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,2,0,6,2,13,21,0,12,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,3,45,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143508769081868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33554855605596634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796428900016108,0.0,0.4664825146811413,0.0,0.3044597589002381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17630288621654586,0.0,0.18981369215556207,0.0,0.0,0.3590791547988405,0.18867112880239126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595526502570275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613068895970794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799585816355721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240887989760422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807244037487566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19532879134089534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176622621256893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159791876411647,0.0,0.14323969205244946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,apofv,2019/02/22,"How I overcame anxiety. My brief story. (Video included) Hey guys, my name is Anthony. I'm 27 and when I was 19  I was hospitalized for anorexia and anxiety.  It took a few years for me to get to this point however when it all went wrong it really happened fast.  I think I had my first bout of anxiety when I was around age 8, at least that was the time I had my first therapist.  I saw various therapists over those years, with the earlier ones trying to work out why I was misbehaving rather than what my troubles actually were.  I guess they figured they had another ADHD kid on their hands they could simply give a star chart too and  encourage Mum to make sure they get their s\*\*\* together.  

When I did finally go to hospital I was relieved.  I was terrified of what was to become of me if I did not get urgent help.  Although hospital was extremely difficult for me and forced me to overcome challenges I hadn't even imagined, I can now comfortably say it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.  Upon gaining my weight back I left hospital medicated and on  the real path to recovery.  Over the next few years I started to develop a mindset which I constructed from the  experiences of others that were just like mine but perhaps they were doing a little bit better.  I often say that nobody has all the answers,  if they did  they would only ever be one self-help book but there's not there's thousands.  so it's my belief that's the best thing you can do to overcome your mental health challenges is to open up to others and allow them to open up to you.  By doing this we share information with each other that we would otherwise hide for fear of shame  or ridicule.  but it's my personal promise that if you trust in the natural gift of communication,  and not just talk but listen,  you can expand your own set of tools to deal with this ever-increasing challenging world. Perhaps the first person you speak to will not understand you and that's okay.  Maybe the first 10 won't have a clue where you're coming from, but that's okay too.  However, occasionally you will meet someone you are so aligned with that you will probably just burst into laughter at the similarity.  

This is how we learn. We share information and learn from each other the same way as we do with all the other subjects that we are so far advanced in.  Why does Moore's Law work for technology but not mental health?  Maybe the reason is that we don't talk about it and we don't work together to get to the next level.  I urge you, please, if you are going through something today to talk to somebody, because it might just turn out they're the person who is just like you. Maybe they're waiting for someone like you to talk to them too.

I will be documenting more of my thoughts and my journey on my YouTube channel Another Point of View.  I would love your support to reach as many people as possible with not only my message but interviews I will be conducting with others to tell their stories about how they overcame their challenges.  If you would like to talk to me and perhaps be willing to open up in front of others to help them, get in touch. I would love to speak to you.

I truly hope you're all having incredible day.  Anthony.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QIrKFg32Q4",5.376774229442525,6.533486044657098,5.773618189236307,79.63966840992548,68.13875598086125,9.213738362820367,29.892400133526202,9.471427190081453,2.618559541560032,2598,96,492,53,43,833,278,627,0.055,0.79,0.155,0.9967,2,0,1,0,0,0,63.0,8,18,15,16,31,31,1,2,22,2,58,7,1,6,7,101,86,39,0,13,25,1,3,4,0,13,3,5,0,5,38,37,1,1,12,3,0,9,10,6,0,8,24,10,86,25,85,44,16,65,1,0,2,2,75,30,0,10,28,372,124,11,0.0,0.0,0.069940921757374,0.0,0.08613506301601183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030736838769046,0.16448521352491194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380271757502756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511086216537875,0.0,0.04369020401929077,0.07915540103047462,0.0,0.0,0.15042936930552875,0.06338750549515705,0.07824657707333325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061738542001315226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722375973897939,0.0,0.0,0.04622210664390999,0.07389003893703107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272010188206903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04733826620819468,0.1944925816197141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701083558824812,0.0,0.08065022094772599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851248633429084,0.0,0.243854534538369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872266724773428,0.06875371216980802,0.08146498638662354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895409814607574,0.07096592786272486,0.12675751766901475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523666369240713,0.0,0.0,0.14411943254704268,0.0,0.0,0.07118584549580534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778711569499977,0.0,0.0,0.14006005120719414,0.07183354493211333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937242553340436,0.0,0.047841198308430734,0.07266352340112135,0.2160105837229934,0.0,0.0,0.0722013685297338,0.14445577428084697,0.07603200108644571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244663749455376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569913253768366,0.1090186182735582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049687906075675616,0.18774203638177447,0.0,0.07867364552744135,0.13550522827165198,0.08079870473167983,0.0,0.0,0.07727386266119918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157771383505591,0.045914517075967165,0.07369010874654858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399190567530718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074768873443495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145384426636224,0.05517612482048804,0.0,0.0,0.050729367011255404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813318252353324,0.06754942127118775,0.0,0.0,0.28803367553785897,0.06264393943008173,0.0,0.0,0.16643197726856568,0.09523055166022304,0.04592412213703165,0.0,0.05689906474113461,0.041792154218689856,0.0,0.06793608170723966,0.0,0.07962953302349524,0.04866015793314103,0.07795787334957276,0.0,0.07461242737761753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056889400208713435,0.0,0.08727642446930625,0.0,0.0664400812234985,0.12934453352088718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653284039843046,0.0,0.0,0.254566436697509,0.07836139569577398,0.0,0.1384620439709318
mentalhealth,aquilles22,2019/02/22,Wtf is wrong with me I just remembered i was sexually assaulted when i was like 3 or something im 22 now and ive literally never done anything in life. I zoned out every single day of my life to go home amd stare at walls or a tv screen while begging god to kill me.i did this literally every day. I have no sexuality which makes me uncomfortable asf around literally everyone in life im so scared of it i have started crying while some girls tried flirting with me at my job. I have no ability to function i just wanna die so bad i have no hobbies friends idek anyone in my life i literally have like 5 phone contacts of family members that i have no relationship with. I have no idea what i want to do in life i have no idea how to get ahold of a therapist or what to even tell them. I just cant do life rn im so miserable everyday i bearly even pay my rent idk if ill even be able to at the end of the month i just dont have the energy to think about anything other than how much i want to die.pls help ,1.1186493101913657,3.084191154205609,3.658117489986652,86.98605919003117,81.38317757009347,7.253760569648421,22.807298620382728,8.269060116576782,1.297772852692479,793,27,177,17,21,277,121,214,0.246,0.67,0.084,-0.9898,2,0,1,0,0,3,7.0,0,0,1,0,16,10,2,2,5,0,20,7,0,3,1,26,27,13,2,4,8,0,0,2,1,0,7,0,2,1,7,6,0,0,4,1,2,1,9,6,0,0,4,2,27,4,29,22,3,22,0,1,2,0,8,10,0,5,13,118,34,2,0.11445973717635735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003290955515606,0.0,0.18838122218897235,0.10189343296043613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556909955584256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572864667302985,0.1476341229218977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375822726541561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713205070335808,0.13414595951904976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137735368835764,0.0,0.0,0.2267987307284793,0.0,0.19287453035813226,0.10937118393628648,0.0,0.0,0.10790245355412867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884313090127994,0.0,0.05980048852321136,0.0,0.06505010636300221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671994912160211,0.0,0.11481244886441493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584222223700293,0.37090847261993626,0.0,0.11358362772035553,0.0,0.12663274056471613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48507778406541996,0.11183849199944773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640276335964379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136067020457876,0.0,0.0841410767307763,0.0,0.08827840552937939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288692236655728,0.12966056962854552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459416457612745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811669767517147,0.0,0.0,0.08101519109445987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004285530926924,0.0,0.0,0.13289657684522305,0.0,0.0733411779009868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777106482082726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135022637072296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514375441178227,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WHY_life7,2019/02/22,Does anyone else feel like this? Last year I noticed that I had been eating less. I just didn't feel like eating. Now even when I have an appetite I don't eat because eating feels weird.  But then not eating makes me feel sick. I don't know what going on. Any advice would be wonderful thanks. ,1.1453026634382582,3.610293796610169,1.8971428571428568,96.47322033898304,85.61016949152544,4.049394673123486,15.20823244552058,5.288315135182226,-0.9187937046004842,230,4,48,1,7,71,45,59,0.083,0.726,0.191,0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,8,6,0,1,0,11,17,3,0,1,3,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,0,6,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,4,7,3,1,12,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,28,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654502887895635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198201512110557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048597064413014,0.15365787796381694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091417875003638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123624763891645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7672632293487588,0.12527734065332818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905112141840558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033092401921946,0.2142714651137535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522912755657025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241738564393547,0.122242296786719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14653161437068354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001034622098195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707372725251096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806853417042902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16263171802659926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653153590154453,0.0,0.0,0.09657318013357533
mentalhealth,tmkcthrowaway,2019/02/22,"Why am I like this and how can become a better person? Let me start with a little bit of a back story. I grew up in the middle of a big city and had a pretty good childhood besides some financial trouble until I was 8 (which have never risen since). I was always an overachiever and always topped my class. I was also captain of my football (soccer) team which is why I was often the centre of attention among my friends and family. 

My life peaked in 2016 when I was physically and mentally at my fittest, had an offer to one of the best universities in the world and a steady girlfriend.

Since I graduated from school and was ready for uni my life has been a downward spiral and I’m nowhere near as confident as I used to be. Despite of that, I still think I’m better than most people when I’m clearly not and tend to put off work thinking I can easily do it just before the deadline. I manipulate everyone including my parents and to get what I want out of them.

I’m a liar and I lie for no reason whatsoever even if it doesn’t portray me as a better person. For example, I lied about not liking ice cream to a girl I was on a date with and we weren’t even talking about ice cream. I manipulate the girls I date and charm them into thinking I will be there forever and when the time for commitment arrives, I drop everything and move on to the next one. 

I’m also addicted to sex and I do everything with only one motive in mind: to get laid. I work out to get laid, I play music to get laid and I only date to get laid.

Now that I’ve painted this picture of me, I know I sound like a horrible person and I am. I cheated on my ex girlfriend of 2 years for no reason at all besides the thrill of it while I was completely in control of my actions and I manipulated her into thinking it was her fault. I ruined the next few years for her just so I wouldn’t have to face the blame and I hate myself for it now.

I’m not motivated to work anymore, I can’t do anything. I sit at home and never leave my room. I reflect on my actions from the past and they make me hate myself more. I keep wanting to go back in time and changing things and making the people that made me happy happy. I know I can’t do that but I can still change. I often have suicidal thoughts but I know I’ll never do it. It just gets worse everyday and I don’t want to reach the level of self hatred where my stance about suicide will change. Please help me, tell me what is wrong with me and please tell me where I can get help. 

",3.463779914529912,4.211594501923076,4.997564102564105,84.95965811965816,72.25,7.854700854700855,25.982905982905983,8.07648339933343,1.4190726495726502,1951,60,417,27,36,659,235,520,0.115,0.782,0.104,-0.9308,2,0,0,0,0,1,38.0,1,0,3,12,26,22,4,0,28,0,40,5,1,13,6,83,74,41,2,5,9,2,0,3,3,3,3,1,2,6,18,35,0,2,14,3,0,6,14,8,0,3,15,3,74,14,69,53,7,66,0,1,2,1,26,31,0,5,30,299,92,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526723408178115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509897915150794,0.1301643355650985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756948122420804,0.0,0.0,0.06436529150115508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202869032472498,0.0,0.0,0.0863836791073773,0.0665562494528995,0.0,0.08208310612570231,0.2075276934799176,0.0853918635640694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24822719556888365,0.0,0.082008227329117,0.0,0.08772615098767958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332216233871244,0.0,0.0,0.07473895809874011,0.14059140531062886,0.0,0.07373529904943893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060429664021690935,0.0,0.2860532575049095,0.0,0.044452085081342886,0.06560406142028835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652525906810592,0.0,0.15444466473650778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485337830990624,0.0,0.07845725442535242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952217760165663,0.0,0.0,0.12895678075764752,0.0,0.0,0.08281969232128901,0.0,0.07998139282889254,0.1104928704652065,0.11463749499469132,0.07839320897599955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740100864812719,0.10441987960358648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882356155254762,0.0,0.07897609372222457,0.0,0.0,0.08313147247015372,0.0,0.0,0.18097553160969898,0.0,0.16636769244916358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590040218040575,0.11897393248057735,0.0,0.0,0.08684986534805426,0.0,0.07466624033824984,0.10845056883247096,0.20488618103930686,0.0,0.17171586173465425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957402350288788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862891298789812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083861933562416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915899888445069,0.0,0.0,0.08159658452461574,0.0,0.0,0.12940254475823404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536184902320851,0.0,0.1249271620386068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111171767760136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286724159277916,0.13672886224571787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05196338663402195,0.20047120364893475,0.0,0.062094948495248464,0.09121702353180997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755370820173655,0.0,0.0,0.13840187403118592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115596071151293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082703743157632,0.0,0.0797090189172961,0.0,0.08551716714294523,0.0,0.10073737331229103
mentalhealth,Victor3-22,2019/02/22,"I don't know how to have this conversation with my mom... Just a little background: I'm 27, my mother is in her late 60's. She's been previously diagnosed and taken medication for some kind of disorder that exhibited paranoia but I'm unsure of what the actual diagnosis was. Not sure if it was paranoid schizophrenia or something else. I was a little kid when she stopped taking her meds.

I know she's been off her meds for years and always refused to talk about starting them again. For the most part she's seemed asymptomatic and able to cope just fine and I didn't think much about it. Eventually we all just stopped talking about it. Recently though she's been exhibiting more and more paranoid tendencies. She rents a room in someone's house and is 100% sure there's people in the attic, her phone spies on her, people follow her etc... all in about a year's time. (I've noticed her talking about them more and more seriously over the last maybe 3 months) But she's never acted on anything that I was aware of. 

Today she told me she had previously expressed to her landlady that she wants to check out the attic because there's something up there and had been expressly barred from going up there. So of course my mother went directly to Lowe's and bought a $70.00 ladder so she could check out the attic. Her landlady found her and there was apparently an argument... the ladder has been returned but the damage is probably done there.

It's obvious that her paranoia issues are worse than I thought, and now they're affecting her ability to have a place to live. If she continues without getting some kind of treatment I'm afraid things will get worse for her and she could also end up without a place to live.

I'm not sure how to go about a conversation with her about getting some help. I'm not even sure what a roadmap for treatment would look like for her. If I can(or should) involve her doctor? She's on Medicare and has a very limited income so I'm not even sure if she can afford the medication she might need. Anyone with experience having this sort of conversation with a loved one know what kind of things work vs. what doesn't? I'm expecting she'll get angry and dismissive when I bring it up but I'm not sure if there's a ""good"" way to force the issue? (For lack of a better word) ",4.81805,6.085003724444442,5.2605972222222235,82.39356250000002,69.53333333333333,8.558333333333334,27.840277777777786,8.930421266530582,2.0662277777777773,1836,62,360,33,32,586,213,450,0.136,0.8170000000000001,0.047,-0.9879,5,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,1,0,2,3,30,18,0,1,24,0,33,6,0,3,10,81,66,33,0,13,21,3,0,1,0,5,4,0,2,1,17,21,1,4,7,1,4,6,11,4,0,1,20,1,48,14,56,39,14,47,0,2,1,1,53,21,0,13,20,245,65,2,0.08282037553585632,0.0,0.08082073954019595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623142439384676,0.06891318704778737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057909932244317536,0.0,0.06815411231267865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504865322157244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324789183503573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225066142017772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406093781368494,0.0,0.0,0.09491932558493116,0.08477016376074639,0.0,0.08475399879339307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918579648173658,0.0,0.07335427033494357,0.0,0.09236661130004184,0.10940415388773707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101421925815523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908082669770967,0.0,0.0,0.17308091173017487,0.0,0.09413745602666068,0.06946580161337362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05551275194309414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955635936919058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728859093006931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25873402913350485,0.13654773736370734,0.0675096599499959,0.09342499100608607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040461852068062285,0.16601554796052412,0.14626381787556006,0.0,0.06954825660553371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474862244445811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832041990408431,0.0,0.1839895334063252,0.16686563041391664,0.0,0.08785933044812425,0.0,0.09699822285722656,0.06610643360024822,0.0,0.06088250545339901,0.061410259046669524,0.06387617932745017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429154647732543,0.0,0.0,0.056121229871262064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968639591865407,0.0,0.11483444067754235,0.0,0.17305933003320007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929437260021808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177512931710612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539655937207501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017343542925401,0.12751834264991924,0.0,0.0,0.058620688078412586,0.0,0.0,0.13848308479781068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4683433428219619,0.0,0.06227061528005485,0.19970364202696184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100443548442167,0.05306795250318328,0.0813705984619644,0.06575012704975032,0.04829322699877514,0.0,0.07850403207566246,0.07913841801373192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833548346847855,0.048849603292986835,0.06573895912919732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677531786357525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967177312914474,0.0,0.06029421977601536,0.0,0.16880207642733466,0.05883321854801255,0.0,0.0,0.10666721294483553
mentalhealth,Imherethereandhere,2019/02/22,"Where do I go? I need help finding out who I should see about my mental health. I've not been well since I was about 10 years old, that's 15 years. I think I am bipolar, maybe have DID. I know I shouldn't be guessing.

My husband goes to a behavioural health clinic but he had insurance that paid for it. I have nothing.

I can't bring myself to talk to him about it. But he knows I'm not right in my mind.

Idk how I can get help without real money or insurance.",-0.0406060606060592,1.9960346363636392,1.6270707070707076,99.42727272727276,86.47474747474747,4.4080808080808085,18.090909090909093,5.565023196281405,-0.6077757575757579,355,9,85,2,11,115,69,99,0.035,0.903,0.062,0.5256,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,13,4,0,1,0,18,24,4,0,3,6,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,0,2,2,5,0,1,0,5,1,16,1,10,16,0,9,0,0,1,0,8,4,0,2,3,53,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18820911610030924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075858251632094,0.0,0.11703030431434852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22684646601542635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43777123590131306,0.0,0.0,0.2760505553235824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263388585387259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20687647924591798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075210955516499,0.0,0.2079226714552854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268866628856675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19758785835016107,0.0,0.2160806584216415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343844907817489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585639245043164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409329410964485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703409318639968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551242537989738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194660006592998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514874467470466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985016059327463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26521422860125143
mentalhealth,tibbsinthewind,2019/02/22,"The Second Day “The second day is always the worst”. This is an unspoken universal law we constantly face. No matter how far we run the second day will always be there to greet us. There’s no way out. All of us have to face the second day whether we want to or not. It was day two of her broken heart. She knew that this day would come, but never expected it to be so soon. We are never prepared for heartbreak no matter how many times we go through it. At the end of every wave a new one is waiting. Winter has overstayed its welcome. Another rainy day in Portland. Not a surprise. There is so much water coming from the sky you begin to question how this is even possible. Same routine of waking up, eating breakfast, and taking way too long to get ready. Keep in mind that this day is a little different. Today is the second day. The second day of a heartbreak hangover. She looks down at her phone but all that stares back at her is her frozen wallpaper. A picture frozen in time of a memory that once was. She looks over the text messages shared from the night before praying that this is all a dream. The second day is the worse because you are in denial. You want to go back to the day before and do things right. You feel like you’re running through quicksand. All she wants to do is run away, but the second day clings onto her. Every move she makes is a task and all she wants to do is hide from the world. She has been living in this rainy city for six months now and still isn’t used to the sky always weeping. Flinching at every tiny droplet that greets her glasses. Being surprised that the weather causes her to see her own breath with every exhale. The best place to run away is the park under the steel green bridge. It is a place that welcomes you with open arms. It is a place that is in the sky, away from the rest of the world. On this particularly cold day, there wasn’t a soul in sight. Just a heartbroken girl and her bright red bleeding car. She grabbed her camera, locked the car, and started walking. Having no destination or end goal. The red car became a sight for sore eyes among the gray and green. Walking further and further the bleeding car disappeared into the background. What came into focus is the larger than life sign that says LOVE. As if this sign is meant to mock her. As if the sign forces her to feel something. Annoyed at the world, and annoyed at herself she continues walking. Not knowing how she got there she is greeted by a large piece of rusty metal. It is the start of the old fishing dock that many couples use as a “lovers lane” so to speak. Kisses are shared as they watch the sunset tower over a massive piece of green steel. Today is different. Today is the second day. It is cold and rainy, without a single soul in sight. Just a girl with a broken heart and her bright red bleeding car. One step and then another. All she can hear are the muffled screams of the cars above and the squeaky sounds of the lonely dock. Her hands are numb and blue. Each breeze brings a mini storm of water against her glass vision. She doesn’t care because the cold weather is the only thing that reminds her that she is still alive. Her lungs become sore from the cold air, but again she doesn’t care. She keeps pressing the shutter button on her camera. That is the only thing that is important. Nothing else matters in this moment besides the quick flicker of her camera. The dock begins to sway aggressively demanding her attention. She gives into the plead and begins to take notice of her surroundings. Something  suddenly draws her to the idea of laying down on the dock. She lets the dock take her. Each aggressive sway makes her lose more and more of her touch with reality. We all hate the second day because it demands you to feel something. Even if you find a sneaky way to avoid the second day, it will find a way. It always does. Whether it be the first day or the hundredth day. The second day is the day you let dock sway you from side to side. The second day is the day you finally take notice.   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mentalhealth,tomo605,2019/02/22,"I don’t know what to do I can’t keep lying to myself. I’m feeling very anxious lately and can’t stop pulling my hair/shaking my legs. I can’t sleep at night and end up staying awake in the morning until my eyes literally hurts keeping them open. I ran out of my meds 4days ago and my therapist is officially kicking me out of the day program I’m in(I didn’t go because of my depression for two months straight.) I try eating but I feel sick. I lost 40lbs in two weeks because of not eating much. I should probably go to the hospital and fix my health first. But I don’t want to go to the hospital because it’s very traumatic to me to be there. If I told my therapist now, she’s officially gonna take me there. I’ve been looking for other programs for me to go to but I don’t find most of them not right for me because I have too many problems I deal with. And I don’t know how the paperworks works considering my day program has all my documents. At least I’m at my desk(where my PC is) most of the time instead of my bed. There is improvement in the last 4days. I am diagnosed with DID, Anxiety, Schizoaffective Disorder, and Trichotillomania(hair pulling).",1.787810734463278,4.03702925,3.5450000000000017,87.16094632768366,80.65254237288136,7.153672316384183,26.78248587570621,8.212053250817874,1.864938418079096,917,40,192,19,24,306,125,236,0.139,0.8320000000000001,0.029,-0.9755,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,3,7,4,0,0,7,0,19,8,3,1,1,32,39,12,0,4,6,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,11,2,3,5,0,0,7,10,4,0,3,6,4,37,0,32,30,5,34,0,3,2,0,5,12,0,3,14,125,40,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141433841243216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615055310034873,0.1419910398472128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064716049423363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16211601118548485,0.12957823916480782,0.10825441411752444,0.12757011322662254,0.0,0.0,0.14404870356196547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572192728198903,0.0,0.0,0.11132177222464436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710269959764875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487604973745708,0.10690967839644673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857242908901319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359987898307935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345510117768332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234335561540216,0.0,0.0,0.13814906796096055,0.10245204476305178,0.1417809150221297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554580047092628,0.0,0.1372026959082393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742734405448178,0.0,0.0,0.1396104196528321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032252124147684,0.0,0.0923947354884989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794915491322296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551232616935616,0.12026591252742028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107336393179907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577821718955887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396609548775387,0.0,0.10508033378585888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450131831237794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918656271592512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328936122468252,0.0,0.0,0.12009974203433176,0.0,0.08533352632052649,0.0,0.2455567456638642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074106140188838,0.07413371281883806,0.0,0.1008188888085966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150195850521364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tigerShark01,2019/02/22,"It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to I'm turning 33 tomorrow. My birthday sucks every year because it just marks another year of accomplishing nothing significant. Every year at this time I assess my life and the impact I have on the people around me, and I feel like it's negative and burdensome. I hate having my birthday acknowledged, and this year I'm socially obligated to put on my ""Happy Birthday"" face so other people can have a good time at a party. It's not my party, I share my birthday with an older family member and the party is for them, but I'm sure it will be mentioned that it's my birthday as well. Yes, this is the 33rd time I've been around the sun when I didn't ask to be born in the first place. Woot. ",4.925511405445182,4.864816238410602,6.4261810154525385,78.87310522442975,68.73509933774835,9.360117733627668,29.360559234731426,9.150863307647796,2.3099795437821933,576,19,117,10,9,198,88,151,0.086,0.746,0.168,0.9092,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,6,8,2,0,9,1,11,2,1,0,1,17,20,11,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,11,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,2,1,1,2,1,17,6,14,15,0,21,0,0,0,0,5,8,1,1,13,77,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17879338392841165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303578032173229,0.1594027468372213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394060524010104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872959524271888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873221005577104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607405578794497,0.0,0.08621439187696413,0.1218115481721733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503473077895146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301472385409789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815098290011677,0.0,0.1683421772969655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043543505784572,0.08330200567390039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360782902636045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236418718866072,0.0,0.17814544509847274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140847737872747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381228799301904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070256223673696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29827522447779914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18546465325746656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057053057865746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330792294687393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4392084061304493
mentalhealth,__Not__the__NSA__,2019/02/22,"When do I start living for now? How do I? When I was in school, I was told to suffer through this now so that you can get the college course you want. In college, I was told to suffer through this now to get a good degree. I'm moving for work in the summer so I've got a part time job to pay for the move, so I've got to suffer through this shitty job so that I can get the better job.

When do I live for now? How do I do that? The thing I work towards only ever ends up working towards the next thing and is always disappointing and inescapable. I want to start enjoying my life and not postponing my happiness for some potential future something. I'm terrified that this is it. This is what life is. Always working towards that next thing over and over and never being happy in what I'm doing in the now and then some day I'll die. This is all there is.",1.6219999999999999,3.3246642555555566,3.2197222222222237,92.01625,78.66666666666667,5.833333333333334,21.25,6.6274283507984215,0.27749999999999986,666,18,147,6,16,220,79,180,0.173,0.759,0.068,-0.973,3,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,5,16,9,0,0,9,0,18,2,0,2,3,16,32,16,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,17,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,7,0,14,5,25,24,4,33,0,4,0,0,4,11,0,2,20,112,31,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20847331305881464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079324102972166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079032235605928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001295373948712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109541469409418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331604078520988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963489462688495,0.0,0.0,0.10507252985255254,0.20038353420971008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667095584607588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729405255214368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17696717518862726,0.0,0.0,0.22123561541279865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26628943189500737,0.0,0.0,0.09661778318784096,0.0,0.2664571972057669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527529090123583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565778114790214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267823377595402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644079931161506,0.0,0.0,0.17733687239017934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24967621097561324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730473328983796,0.0,0.0,0.2394062573555839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777779226834825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647991420360759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StarryBallarinaGirl,2019/02/22,"Got a loose diagnosis of schizophrenia From being in the emergency room. I’m curious if it sounds accurate to my condition So I was In the hospital for trying to hurt myself, and of course they do their whole work up. These feelings only started a couple months ago for the most part but they've gotten increasingly worse. The first main part I suppose Is the paranoia, crippling paranoia, almost feeling like ocd in a way too. Like thinking everyone is talking about you or making fun of you, to think that my best friend is plotting against me because she secretly doesn't like me. This led to me thinking my roommate was going to try to kill me so I threw a bunch of stuff in front of my door. I haven't really heard voices but I constantly just get these terrible feelings or thoughts in my head about myself or about what other people think about me. Also feeling like Im not completely in control of my senses, like feeling like Im going to fall into the sky. Early yesterday morning though I had this one episode where I was laying in bed and I thought I had gone to work and had all these conversations and done all of these things, only to come to to yelling that wasn't there. It wasn't a dream but It felt like one if that makes any sense. Ive been dealing with massive depression and have a diagnosis for ptsd as well, does anyone else have symptoms like this? Maybe a wrong diagnosis? Im still youngish Im 23 so they said I guess a lot of times it starts to manifest in your twenties? Anyways, any thoughts would be helpful",4.652081818181821,6.078052723333332,5.0288484848484885,83.29609090909094,70.1,7.987878787878787,30.303030303030305,8.438071523408619,2.230666666666667,1227,50,235,19,22,389,169,300,0.112,0.737,0.152,0.8831,0,0,0,0,1,3,21.0,0,3,3,5,16,17,1,0,14,0,22,2,1,4,2,43,51,19,1,3,10,0,6,8,1,1,1,5,3,0,18,8,0,1,14,1,0,9,5,5,1,3,20,11,31,12,41,28,11,33,0,2,0,0,15,13,0,9,18,164,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171417774393745,0.0,0.09230740545084763,0.0,0.0,0.07371826996638059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537445075053347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445611064523657,0.09445181108810596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619356439344394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673979145305682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794070161351599,0.09665154236615182,0.09961647734013153,0.10339045331119752,0.0,0.10199812482781506,0.0,0.0,0.09503605566155783,0.07939660696112101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066948101952634,0.09433464886136599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700660629840783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808427898450226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330510761597276,0.1975654767527924,0.08850960574447063,0.0,0.0,0.0784103427576394,0.0,0.0,0.07121993027510634,0.0,0.04816152413195615,0.0,0.10477881852660838,0.0,0.07372672429782241,0.0,0.10154935866948192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460578577846147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178795144103723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986832166184808,0.0,0.3982914475779105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019862202001256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602855002913434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837022039454375,0.0,0.0,0.12306499903810535,0.0,0.0926096586833966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357915012787286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493042426185122,0.14021781045779885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964921507130626,0.0,0.06390770224845009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107756348123973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590544363391628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768661714679386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049442161116767,0.0,0.07361702165564618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552684793765238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581285898805122,0.0,0.0740927594967077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124192204022583,0.23626716079240356,0.0905687866393273,0.21954769932266294,0.05375232645267036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251716616843347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317013609094691,0.0,0.0,0.08288309097527367,0.0,0.0,0.10291841061606703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421983934482698,0.0,0.09394178937598056,0.06548376586502035,0.10078703530535944,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway-account-yo,2019/02/22,"Have I become a sociopath? This is a long story but here goes.

I've suffered with depression for most of my life and anxiety the past 4 years. I'm 24. Recently, someone very important to me died. He was like a father figure. It's been nearly 3-4 months since then. A few weeks ago, if not before that, my emotions I felt became numb-er. And it kept getting worse. I feel completely emotionally numb. It's terrifying. My thoughts are darker and my responses shorter and uncaring.

I've still been acting like a good person but it is based rather on how I used to act rather than how I feel. Like I have this setting of this is what I would have done because it's right so I do that, but I'm very unsure if it's out of goodness or just knowing societal norms and rules.

I'm 24 as I said and used to be a very mature and kind person. I still am but it feels forced. 

I just got out of an inpatient mental health clinic and felt slightly better but before long it went right back to this. 

It's so bad that when I see my dogs, or friends or even talk to my family, I feel like I'm pretending to care rather than actually caring, and it is so recent that this happened that I'm terrified something is truly wrong with me.

Is this just extreme depression, or am I becoming a sociopath?

",2.8483087027914635,4.369303168582377,4.3123152709359625,86.28206896551724,74.78544061302681,7.576792556102903,25.072249589490966,8.269060116576782,1.4847812807881782,1001,33,209,17,21,333,140,261,0.18600000000000005,0.639,0.17600000000000002,-0.7917,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,17,17,0,0,9,0,19,4,0,4,0,47,43,28,1,6,18,1,6,4,1,1,4,1,0,3,22,13,0,1,9,1,0,3,1,6,0,0,11,8,22,11,20,30,2,24,0,3,1,0,8,6,0,7,18,133,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.10418793221725592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464136040046624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167547622989671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209624104811912,0.08914490858220546,0.06508338609992691,0.23582867797487386,0.1816995117785248,0.0,0.0,0.09442559463057217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177095146407761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194181605791853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391429985451,0.0,0.1108059512694895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925839000812017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401941078697207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051774479168638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100649209865768,0.0,0.21593580452748973,0.15254688969351424,0.2050236501776977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248692301578593,0.0,0.05578067709488011,0.0,0.0,0.17910002484726018,0.08539029184484091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441256511274483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348695757175005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118005783755608,0.058675642274526325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541177869684322,0.2086413326398864,0.0,0.0,0.18896858797645671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759472452604116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521937144167951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191995137435557,0.0,0.18644740036197407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21083651742905926,0.0,0.0,0.1823546666573787,0.10155863969766404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507844819036046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883176989341514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046223995907496,0.08219345997111864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17052646849004974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858142338110137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476004821668752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442258841178924,0.0,0.2642786774837521,0.0,0.0,0.08564101287922038,0.0,0.0,0.09897288318613008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880338015340907,0.07584329741445564,0.11673154396682073,0.0,0.06875361705006977
mentalhealth,CapnsThrowAway,2019/02/22,"What are the withdrawal symptoms of anti-depressants? My girlfriend has started randomly getting very nauseated and sick. She has ran out of her medications for her depression, anxiety, and insomnia. I don't remember for sure what the brand names are but I know she was taking Zoloft. She got her last monthly period and she's only two weeks into this current cycle so we've ruled out morning sickness. We also always use protection and insure that no condoms have hole in them after sex. 

So I guess I just need to know what's going on with my girlfriend. She woke up this morning and suddenly just started throwing up. She couldn't stop. It went of for a while and it's kinda slowed down. But I'm really worried. 

Last week she had blisters on the back of her throat and everytime she would eat she would get sick I figured this was due to threaten irritation, but that has since ceased and had nothing to do with this mornings incident. Please help.",3.3572302264039986,6.121922217877097,4.16912672743311,81.95196118788593,78.21787709497207,7.343840047044988,27.85680682152308,8.371475516178862,2.3912614525139664,763,33,133,16,19,244,114,179,0.139,0.8079999999999999,0.053,-0.9461,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,1,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,15,11,1,1,1,34,31,15,0,4,5,0,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,0,11,14,1,2,4,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,8,0,22,1,22,20,0,29,0,1,0,2,19,9,0,3,16,94,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423665447801794,0.1396720025784662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841155389223416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290730873980694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891531475230652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176150031794685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17539863257736568,0.0,0.09539804763178604,0.0,0.13425204932069554,0.0,0.18491543790157186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125122427897136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450165821840148,0.2736547184232993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691001226315963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398332539553515,0.0,0.0,0.12446520364763915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106508508873638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766421256678806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842586003212164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107534671796687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901513446936295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388545678558235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23762270320662496,0.0,0.0,0.14033750727230948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820497108648535,0.1744696077701722,0.12620895811896354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16397369678418713,0.0,0.0,0.1449761436598589,0.0,0.13850112340024945,0.0,0.0,0.26929247427393754,0.0,0.0,0.1556068272849985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704688010671241,0.0,0.2384842090393877,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spyxz,2019/02/22,I have the MUN final conference tomorrow and I haven't done anything. I am really stressed Tomorrow and Sunday is the Final Conference. Six hours each day and I have barely done anything. I am supposed to have at least 20 speeches ready and good research. I couldn't do that since I have had at least 2 tests daily this week. I cried at school today from the stress. I also have SAT and Subject Test studying and an interview for a scholarship in the next two weeks in addition to all the shit they give us at school. Idk what to do but I am stressed. I am also afraid my hair might start falling again like it did for the past year and stopped only recently. Idk what to do I guess I just want to vent,1.80936170212766,4.195707382978725,2.8050780141843994,91.69400000000002,81.55319148936171,6.313191489361702,22.875177304964534,7.554174236665415,1.012495602836879,555,19,115,9,15,176,87,141,0.117,0.804,0.079,-0.5,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,1,0,4,7,1,4,8,0,20,2,2,0,1,17,25,10,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,5,0,2,5,2,16,2,14,18,4,24,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,2,18,81,21,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22498658575185249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23151791124097346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545187642518555,0.0907201454837247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879073338956257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30819297084003683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494293582598796,0.0,0.11798684442124467,0.0,0.0,0.1549632370832669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853105350061154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872397833282606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922803612391974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496035353662611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698544082385447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428488864233531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011643932710092,0.0,0.13889409228968072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847299476197617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439514909792706,0.11636320667931448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956654704237104,0.0,0.0,0.1176059427914792,0.4834090726441418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333381722203919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741359368660755,0.0,0.16920800491319482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297047482224038,0.0,0.2256730644515701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905865013162617
mentalhealth,5leeves,2019/02/22,"Don't know if this is the right place to post this but this is what I've felt like for a good while. For as long as I can remember I have been awful when with another person, even my mum who I live with - I can't even have a conversation with her. 
I can't talk to anyone, my mind is blank. Maybe I'm just stupid and can't think quickly enough.
Everyone at work thinks I'm weird because I keep to myself and try my best to avoid them. 
I can't display any emotion, I don't know why. I don't laugh or smile or cry or whatever, it feels like theres something inside holding all those feelings back.
I've never had any friends, which I can understand, I mean who wants to be friends with an emotionless person who can't talk to you properly? 
I don't really know, I don't remember being like this as a kid.",2.965,3.6823493157894767,4.25171052631579,89.96072368421055,73.3859649122807,8.039181286549706,24.77631578947368,8.344100000000001,1.212512280701754,627,18,146,10,12,207,99,171,0.175,0.715,0.11,-0.8863,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,2,7,11,1,1,5,1,21,0,0,0,2,31,35,12,0,2,6,1,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,11,6,0,3,12,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,3,3,20,8,16,30,3,10,0,0,0,0,15,3,0,4,9,92,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19700232852054436,0.15188507476541094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128063419999007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137867038939282,0.0,0.08829759944795212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200835627001105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591080112284955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16293377156096234,0.0,0.14966603152189145,0.0,0.1913406156842915,0.0,0.0,0.1384078491440678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464783435312149,0.10347897497610364,0.1390761700148215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22381740485841467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149108399800525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287469790111964,0.0,0.0,0.2388129445640477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122952944101389,0.0,0.1279028627805222,0.12818534567156625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455186307489714,0.1577812263771149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462545310231945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171520500598177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529502360248592,0.15133465038467386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387237207140738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279292071581674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281676199379169,0.12369884450431305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151056576294624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328456246066862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856246649552852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834184185446894,0.0,0.0,0.15079119849198713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543471923017336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070220279318012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545059510249452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stephenKami,2019/02/22,"My ideas of the sad person I do not live the life of a depressed or associate with the typically sad person. Understanding the feelings, solidifying the experiences or attempting to vicaroiusly interpret their lives is all very difficult for me. Helping someone help themselves or helping someone want to help themselves in the first place or even get them to want help. I do not know. I do not know why my attempts have been incapacitated, my gentle hand slapped away like an buzzing wasp, my cries of empathy silenced like a phone on silent, a sense of uselessness and helplessness has taken over my being and I cannot easily visualize a timely, favorable solution. I want to articulate my current thoughts as well as hear the thoughts of others more wise than me.

The sad person will favor depression over happiness, sadness over joy, and pain over comfort because underlying problems have not been forgiven. 

Abuse suffered in the past may destroy all feelings of happiness and security. Torment becomes the normal and everything seems hopeless causing death to be, although permanent solution, a blissful vacation from the pain. When in this state of seemingly perpetual pain, a coping mechanism of apathy takes hold, a desire to escape circumstances dries out will the last of tears and the seeds of the biggest problem, low self-esteem take semi-permanent root. 

Sad person may not even of suffered from abuse but still prefers the sad life personified in loneliness. Whether from abuse or failed relationships for some reason sad person feels alone. This can be purposeful but hardly ever desirable. Deep down every person longs for human connection, only too often it is disturbed, misconstrued, and manipulated by pungent fiends poisoning the vulnerable for selfish desire. Bad relationships all around him, sometimes not even being his own, set poor examples and influence the ideas of what a good relationship means, giving way to a more favorable existence in loneliness. A hedgehog who loves connection but only hurts himself and arguably more importantly hurts others.

The sad person is often lonely and has low self-esteem so what purpose is it to get close to people when you will only become a burden. Sad person will wrongly interprets the avoidance of vulnerability and lack of openness as healthy and superior to the possibility of opening up and getting hurt. If the event of a  relationship occurs, sad person automatically places himself in a lower standing than the other recipient which makes sad person content with being used or mistreated. The sad person can keep up this superficial relationship in the following ways: He does not open up, he can please his own selfish and confused desires, he can artificially fill the void of loneliness with a connection, or experiment with others emotions.  
Unfortunately, the sad person may be so lonely that he needs the negative attention of being depressed. He will play sad music, (simp songs are welcome to be recommended) eat himself to the point of self-loathing, post on social media and worst of all use others. This is where it may get personal for me and now that I have had time to realize my past actions I am sincere in saying I am not proud and rather disappointed I acted this way. Many times throughout my I played the apologetic victim. Although I took some measure of personal responsibility it was for my own convenience, never being sincere enough to makeup for my wrong doings. In this victimhood state I merited negative attention. By exaggerating my emotional turmoil , prolonging and perpetuating my problems, I essentially created an artificial system in which being sad would provide more attention to myself and affirmation to my ego. Going back to the sad person, (Although these tendencies do not cease to arise, I have become more conscious of it and try actively to fight back) craves this negative attention because that is the only way he will feel valuable. Fishing for compliments and degrading himself will often warrant arguments and words of affirmation from the person the sad person decided to use. 
    
Finally, the sad person does not want help. He chooses to be sad as a person chooses to be scared at a horror film. Where he goes wrong is life is not a horror film. There are always the absolutes of uncertainty in life where emotions can flare and life can go wrong. Moderation of emotions is essential. One cannot go about a healthy life feelings only anger or only joy. Balance as show in the movie inside out, gives a decent explanation of what I am trying to convey. Emotions come and go therefore not being consistent paradigms in which our lives should flow. In order to live a meaningful life everyone must find healthy and sustainable coping devices to enable them to survive the menacing yet opportunity rich variability in life. If not the sad person will decide that their life is a horror movie or a tragedy and never pick themselves up out of the pit of loneliness and despair. 

As humans we all have chains. Some chains we will be able to escape ourselves, in fact most chains were locked by the very person they imprison. What the sad person and many persons fail to realize is people may not have the same chains as us or even the identical chains can be unlocked by others, by friends, and by family. They may have the key you yourself do not hold.  

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mentalhealth,robin5539,2019/02/22,"stop trying to make me feel better, you’re doing it wrong this is a rant about the insensitive people out there who make me feel like shit about myself 

i’m writing this because the other day i was sitting with two of my friends, and somehow my mental health came up. 
their hearts may have been in the right places and they tried to make me “feel better”. they told me that i was such a great person and that i should get off of medication. one of them said that she was on antidepressants but she stopped that and started eating right and loving herself and now she’s much better. my other friend said that she was going through “exactly” what i was going through, and that if she went to a psychiatrist she’d get the same diagnoses BUT she’s handling it on her own and is managing fine. 
as someone who is always doubting whether i have the “right” to be labeled with anxiety and depression these comments really hurt me. when people say stuff like that it detracts from our struggle. you think we like medication? we don’t. you think we’re weaker than you because we can’t “handle it” by ourselves? we’re not. ",5.080527131782947,6.283378479069773,5.1479069767441885,83.68387596899228,68.86046511627907,7.779844961240313,28.286821705426355,8.021203637495839,1.7357193798449615,883,30,170,11,15,276,126,215,0.14,0.725,0.134,-0.1026,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,4,3,4,3,7,17,1,2,8,0,18,8,2,3,1,38,38,15,0,2,5,0,3,3,2,2,4,3,0,1,20,16,1,2,5,0,0,4,3,6,0,2,11,6,34,11,23,23,3,21,0,2,0,1,32,10,1,4,9,126,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962709625314407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159509424553637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597573614047296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176812051282119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694217180728455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721760741067989,0.0,0.10312549375812184,0.12152604605104304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251631829469288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181621166594202,0.08553697745827364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501018509861145,0.0,0.12511066017427586,0.0,0.13609356633137126,0.0,0.0,0.13200558964703282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272701311855795,0.0,0.14188368110700367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817620083442466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548586866705132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806332607864867,0.0,0.23976727613237955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24123595112588264,0.12066227695502385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801722124289857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113389337735716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601498732926195,0.10454586857823006,0.12509505995395573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670375522553377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30675290153647194,0.2277861998226337,0.09521615152942037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290377044259278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144902456878244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474733478171159,0.0,0.0,0.2002035925143993,0.0,0.12517048697937738,0.1370651557394335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343960244722632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440960905360956,0.0,0.16258112165980326,0.0,0.1169613306240423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099329911060517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309087778193349,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InevitableTwo4,2019/02/22,"What Should I Do?  

As a child I'd obsess with counting stairs, small everyday things, but I never really put much thought into it or considered it a problem in the long term. But in the past 10 years I have been tormented night and day by one or two failed relationships, little more than flings in fact, and I thought it was just me being a weak person that was unable to get over them... but after reading this article about Relationship OCD, the maddeningly repetitive and obscene quality to it all seems eerily familiar.

​

When I got dumped, thoughts pertaining to it would play on a loop day and night for years. Then, in turn, these thoughts gradually merged into thoughts of suicide that were equally repetitive and appalling. I never had any real intention to enact them, but at the same time I couldn't stop thinking these thoughts. It drove me to the edge of utter madness and deep into an alcohol problem. And yet all the same, I somehow never quite considered the thoughts themselves to be the problem, rather (perhaps foolishly) assuming that the things they pointed to in reality were the problem.

​

This article is very thought provoking and makes me wonder if there really is an OCD element to my problems. In fact right now I seem to be drowning in relationship OCD like the article mentions above. I'm on the verge of breaking up a relationship of 7 years because I feel so insecure and nervous when it comes to planning a future together and marriage etc. Mostly because my mind seems open to all possibilities at all times, and the likelihood of this decision being the ""right"" one tortuously small. The only relief I get from such thoughts, in general terms, is when I'm in the first throes of infatuation - where there <i>can be</i> no mistake as my mind cries continuously for this person. Needless to say such a relationship always (understandably) ultimately ends up repelling them. And so the cycle continues.

​

So I'm not counting stairs any more... I check I locked the front door in the mornings 3-5 times and tap the wall next to it in a certain pattern that I can recall it later so as to be sure that I did indeed lock the door when leaving for work. When I go on holiday, I even film myself locking the door with sound and jiggling the knob to be sure. If I do not do this, my mind is constantly ""testing"" my memory and questioning my grasp of reality in regards to whether I truly remember things happening or not. Memory itself seems to slip through one's hands, no matter the repetition or the self-flagellation that accompanied them.

​

I've had these kinds of repetitive, maddening, often obscene thoughts for many years. Over time they morph slowly and seamlessly into different forms on different subjects. Sometimes it's politics, sometimes it's relationships, job concerns, my own personal inadequacies in one form or another (a particularly pleasant way in which my mind enjoyed tormenting me was to keep calling me homophobic names and filling my mind with thoughts and images that, let's say, I was less than thrilled to have). I am so tired of it all. Sometimes it's hard to tell what feelings are real and false, what thoughts are merely the background static that fills my mind and what are genuine.

​

Which brings me back to the subject of the article to which I refer above. It's too hard to know whether I'm in the right relationship or not, I am very happy much of the time, she is my favourite person and best friend in the world, but because I am not obsessive and infatuated, it torments me... on and on and on, and it seems only leaving her will end it.

Any thoughts? I've got more than enough but they never quite seem to go anywhere helpful...

​

TL;DR:  
32M+32F  
F is blissfully certain she wants to marry and incredibly loving  
Suffer terribly from depression/anxiety/OCD and it's poisoned my relationship even though I try to protect her as much as possible by being vague about how I'm feeling as well as my overwhelming terror of commitment  
No kids involved",9.700654788753573,8.807436993234102,9.069960532250793,66.59768173958805,59.311231393775365,12.378905427755225,42.313975342053816,11.483957519231947,4.991939978950533,3274,161,544,77,36,1043,339,739,0.159,0.7490000000000001,0.092,-0.9956,3,0,1,0,0,1,120.0,0,0,7,7,30,35,3,6,42,0,40,6,1,4,16,139,86,63,2,13,23,0,6,1,1,3,4,3,3,6,45,36,1,3,32,4,1,9,13,19,1,6,26,9,57,16,96,48,24,105,0,3,0,1,37,48,0,20,47,392,102,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043774422328063264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03408249880501936,0.2662847447934823,0.2986296594443784,0.08356383367685889,0.0429507584030764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031496171500322516,0.0,0.07490760103949855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04298562051265382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04182535020767833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035283928261148886,0.0,0.04426385489809701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04499329352027518,0.05283239422363264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559021374187586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255786412258387,0.04232324717206445,0.045681894193550315,0.05410817731528315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213272720189074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03484106371763838,0.0,0.0,0.031646056392719765,0.0,0.042800443717141576,0.0,0.046557703539546864,0.0,0.06551986405397832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036221321519866415,0.04360331820966235,0.07338530061864297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02745502541410309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04064707317187627,0.03640766151102525,0.0,0.042654159610242826,0.022510873438003703,0.0,0.0,0.08674271803617663,0.0,0.04188498660066819,0.0,0.02001127917364084,0.041053279911837055,0.0,0.03624884025805601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369685388860837,0.0,0.02734151721636231,0.041527617332344224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481511644393523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903322575078327,0.0,0.12636535321388373,0.0,0.043562060640309735,0.07687749291573559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102384504127616,0.0623047610390906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039101525560831726,0.0,0.14306085693127038,0.0,0.0,0.0387210047270449,0.09235383956056528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959688020896264,0.0,0.041176714363662825,0.045885244011591525,0.08713327578424418,0.040971682500216544,0.09324425583627577,0.05248081584496146,0.0,0.0,0.35181082524308005,0.046400372720743314,0.1049403806117965,0.0,0.0651470231045221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22373394017485002,0.04273083686833742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153323628802368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03424489400601826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044804246016797514,0.0,0.07720975769605767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03580136804655467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163720370115064,0.026245897269565343,0.04024357954770656,0.4227358128951052,0.11942227039470014,0.04707818183141725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027809557304617715,0.04455336847118059,0.040012552419458815,0.04264142705096527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759356614982212,0.02415962194150692,0.03251261611816607,0.0,0.0,0.036828496754696065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04442002124792305,0.0298198031683052,0.0,0.0,0.02909723358850898,0.0,0.2986296594443784,0.10550912861441457
mentalhealth,jcoh7,2019/02/22,"Cannabis Induced Psychosis (My experience) Bad writing, but please read! I started smoking weed when I was around 16. For about 2 years everything was fun for me, days went by like a breeze but each day was amazing with my friends, high or not. But these two years, my dad was never home, he lived where he worked and only came home on the weekends. When he lost his job, he stayed at home more often, and that's when cannabis induced psychosis started to hit me. Everything was still fine, but everything went downhill when he started giving me trauma, being too strict and too scary all the time, searching my room for weed. The very first time psychosis hit me was when I was at my friend's party, I saw a man with a Jesus piece and I just started to daze out. I got home safely, but sure enough my dad was waiting for me there, with that distinct face. I started to shout at him, threw away my  own Jesus necklace, and confronted him. I continued to smoke weed, but it just started getting worse. I invited my friend to play basketaball one evening, and that time I felt like there was this ""stoner's reality"" that I never knew about and I just found out about it. Like everything, from what people say how they say it, how they act, had every subliminal messages to it. Lyrics to music made ""sense"" and I remember having this ""little subliminal"" competition (or even hostility) towards my friend. I remember the guy we were playing with, he said ""Yeah.. this ball's alittle flat"" and I thought it's meaning that my personality/or soul was flat or too dark and I needed to get better. On our way home, I started to say and do weird things, I had the idea that we could go anywhere, that the freeway would lead us anywhere, and asked my friend if he wanted to go to ""China"". I remember blacking out, my friend had to get our other friend to drive us home. That was the start, I had more psychotic episodes, but within these episodes I had my own reality but I was conscious of my actions. I felt that the government was after me because I knew too much. I was admitted to the psych ward about 3 to 4 times, one time I even thought I was EazyE (my friend had me listen to alot of NWA) and later on I thought I was Jesus (damn  hahaha). So yeah, it was very bitter sweet, because all this happened during my senior year. At first my friends were trying to comfort me, but they did not realize that I was living in my own reality, I wasn't even conscious of it, the thing that separated us was that I was still conscious of what I was doing, but in my own reality. And I don't blame them, they had their own lives and couldn't tend to me forever. I got accepted to a good colleges, but it was too late, I dropped out of my AP classes and I wasn't sure if the colleges would still accept me. During this time period, I was on meds, gained alot of weight which made me even more depressed (I was athletic). Hardest and most humiliating thing was graduation, walking on stage, not who I once was and who people loved and knew me for, but what had happened to me (not blaming weed I love it, the memories I had with it with my friends I would not take back). Fast forward and yes bitter sweet, I went home to my original country, got to live with my mom again and my baby siblings, made new friends in College. Making friends wasn't the same though, sure we got close, but I did not have the guts to tell them my past. Fast forward again, I moved back to the States to study (one reason was that I had alittle ""psychotic"" episode during a smoke party at a party and I felt like my new friends started to have a different impression of me). During my stay in the states, I took off time from Community college to have a vacation with my mom and family, to some other country. There, I had the craziest psychotic episode. I woke up, mom got a doctor, and asked me if I wanted to come back to the states or go home with them, again. I said go home. When I got back, I was set to go to the same University again. But social media fucked my life up (again, happened during the start of my psychosis in high school). I was acting weird, posting stuff that was weird and provocative. The new friends I've made in the University started to have a different impression of me, worse than what happened to me with my old friends in high school. Fast forward to now, now I feel that I'm at least happier, because I feel that I can embrace my mental illness, although unfortunate, I have to live with it. I feel that it's God (or the universe) testing me, because to be honest all my life I never struggled, my old HS friends would always ask why I'm never in a bad mood. Maybe it's God making me a stronger, more mature person. But yeah,  It's been hard making friends \[I don't have any (maybe 3 but very distant), but I'm lucky enough to have my Gf stick with me through everything, she was there during the vacation\]. I say it's hard making new friends because I don't want to hide my mental illness anymore, I want people to know about it because like I said before making friends who do not know everything about you just does not feel right, it's not real, I feel. And plus, I go to a small university, so everyone knows each other, I made a lot of friends freshman year, so that means word got around and people know. And yeah, I don't blame them for not wanting to be friends with me anymore, they have reasons to, and I'm okay with it. The only thing that scares me is if I will get another chance in life, after college, to have a normal life, normal social life, things like that. I was never socially awkward, I was always outgoing and I still am, but yeah what holds me back is my past and the impression I've made on everyone. I've been wanting to post this for a long time, and I'm not expecting much, but maybe just insights (maybe same experiences?). Insights on if I will ever get another chance in life, but if I ever do, I believe that I've learned enough from my past and it's made me a better person, plus I often take for granted being with my mom and little siblings (I love being with them everyday) and my Gf who is still with me throughout everything. Thank you! ASAP Rocky saved my life (First two albums) I'm ego-tistic about my looks but hey, it helped me lose weight and be happy again, certain songs ""Alot"" by 21 savage, ""Truly Yours"", more, and Kota the Friend! Sorry I tend to lose track and keep on writing, always been me. But yeah if you're going through the same experiences maybe let's exchange music and stuff, keeps a lot of us going. Thank you again!",5.0937983136211855,5.592112169373554,5.4624957085997785,83.98424325165526,68.45088940448571,8.318144606040027,29.92142493350688,8.215314690518753,1.9396951955180803,5117,183,1040,65,82,1633,414,1293,0.064,0.718,0.218,0.9997,3,0,2,0,2,0,201.0,9,4,11,11,64,80,6,3,49,8,92,18,2,21,15,233,208,88,0,23,50,6,12,6,24,6,10,10,10,4,69,72,2,5,39,6,1,25,24,20,0,8,90,29,178,59,137,101,33,165,4,4,3,4,98,49,2,22,92,708,247,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259516175321093,0.0,0.0,0.01977662122198293,0.0609896058684371,0.0,0.0,0.05768266207110932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177793530652775,0.0815626715905859,0.0,0.02732330836536252,0.1118105452377636,0.04856417641779636,0.10636797192437736,0.0,0.024746469779882516,0.03276522973989407,0.0,0.0514409774930186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0332618316604876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02505139557656268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023219450850796162,0.0,0.0,0.037510710178221815,0.0,0.0250481116811443,0.0,0.0,0.06076858239991405,0.0,0.029766454548049368,0.02544967911319565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014782020397696,0.0,0.0960412729429901,0.05261230603468161,0.024502670743849552,0.05557781224674472,0.18295792611518508,0.08534274212680905,0.02741573277696236,0.0,0.07352315931987154,0.0,0.08376926575567034,0.0,0.0,0.07421089253770898,0.0,0.031886692577236114,0.4943075829828597,0.02688565543394909,0.07597020082873898,0.02789791247234669,0.13222285680585874,0.024392434019642556,0.16281560463922146,0.0,0.0,0.02879555418249202,0.10286775859922233,0.030958116818408432,0.052103161011322535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019492917487041808,0.09217955503969937,0.2625427487949382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03282981229231919,0.0,0.0,0.02885919905294027,0.0516984800433664,0.0,0.0,0.06393038678636129,0.0,0.03280553705527131,0.0,0.0,0.02973811079895331,0.1437893474794057,0.08524739085651631,0.05829520722153835,0.12839881078633342,0.025736477803013844,0.024421387517754464,0.0650701906107285,0.03174622003249402,0.04944861268138777,0.07874237964676102,0.1926253159544357,0.097061636445492,0.0,0.14608288453625504,0.06335721153011116,0.03230332371961416,0.0,0.05861522847026505,0.0,0.0,0.13624101046071996,0.0,0.0309093509347404,0.04275693831298582,0.021563786167216097,0.11214838477957746,0.11234953443937684,0.0,0.0,0.05698797859630985,0.0,0.0,0.06103291392000903,0.030971167817235575,0.05911974086277892,0.044236038672941284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328560617356641,0.080646633375069,0.050786211954374334,0.0,0.031923083242170164,0.0,0.0,0.05570465079615102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02908966989597983,0.033101455156976003,0.0,0.0598018678267583,0.0,0.0,0.09883203054863927,0.02483569825524827,0.08299035424688217,0.0925080583061876,0.029115955108864583,0.05886466830094115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893569806836382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03255469407963996,0.22642672454956364,0.061994658575698476,0.11612381502441275,0.0,0.0,0.030402611641272632,0.06658340636132716,0.0,0.0,0.08222775684578132,0.0,0.043731788572316924,0.0,0.02541877498668138,0.05354922825795171,0.0,0.0,0.09660327824731076,0.0,0.028572720792444918,0.0692631020701581,0.13566265135406774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032310949800305355,0.019744633185136792,0.0,0.056817385596576085,0.0,0.13992729835894416,0.0,0.0,0.071986591948476,0.10291919455634654,0.023083779152275854,0.0,0.07082759530803329,0.0,0.08087735972935793,0.026241801068356038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02117189672463432,0.0,0.059273677349167976,0.08263550514152983,0.0,0.0,0.07491090272872193
mentalhealth,Rueed,2019/02/22,"Drinking issues Hey guys
I'm a normal guy who looks younger than he actually is and I have some drinking issues. One could say that im a well-behaving dude. However I have this problem.
A lot of times I get extremely drunk. Like ""do not remember drunk"" or ""cant walk drunk"". However I'm not doing other kinds of drugs. 
I was raised in a household where I had to ""accept"" a lot of things. ""Eat everything you put in your plate"" ""Eat the offered food"" and other things like that. This had a really big impact on me. 

I can't say no to any drink that is offered to me. I can't just give or throw away drinks. When drunk this behaviour is even stronger. This got me extremely drunk a lot of times even though I didn't had the intention to fuck me up.

Additionally to the no-thing I am bad in speaking up for myself, very shy and phased of medium sadness. 

How can I change this? Can anybody offer me some help? Everything I have tried was a fail.
",1.3219109947644014,3.54299589005236,2.961725130890052,90.83808507853405,82.24607329842931,6.5425130890052365,21.591884816753925,7.7348632917899725,0.8955819895287962,729,23,158,13,20,240,110,191,0.157,0.777,0.065,-0.9551,2,0,5,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,1,7,9,1,0,11,0,21,14,0,2,0,21,28,8,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,2,13,4,12,0,2,9,0,3,7,5,0,1,7,4,19,4,19,20,5,15,0,2,1,1,15,9,1,7,5,104,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.11876115020280008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827598287705916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434068015874885,0.0,0.10161399360407636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874192724823974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716714270802937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4768766882335141,0.14113277532076454,0.2490579281355391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076273524086954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187513148921585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715951050103554,0.0,0.0,0.11250922061577788,0.0635829623440954,0.11674524345452705,0.0,0.0,0.09733420233832507,0.0,0.0,0.2410032640811619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157260511586506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145633661808356,0.25404530519292884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267312947613633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891245040015315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219692366171396,0.0,0.0,0.31039367184011546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192396642903356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246672634060713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644997931544206,0.0,0.12234160450022535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796381177051133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786180213236568,0.0,0.0,0.19356064363537304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170347152199008,0.0,0.11956913437084915,0.0,0.14192790657469775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262596745917854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041482746324876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942246009499393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,therealquavo,2019/02/22,"Am I depressed? Last night I unfortunately had to break up with my girlfriend of about a year. Our relationship was usually not very emotional as I don't usually share my emotions with people and my girlfriend learned that I'm not very receptive when she talks about her feelings. After discussing how I'm emotionally guarded, I started to open up to her for truly the first time I ever have. I told her how I don't like to talk about my emotions because I'm extremely self conscious about certain things like a stutter and scar on the side of face and how I feel scared that if open up to anyone no one will listen and that it's not worth it. She told me I'm depressed and should seek professional help but I don't believe those two things are true. Any advice/insight?",6.297961736571008,6.578150304635766,6.348035320088305,79.43337012509203,65.82119205298014,9.09521707137601,33.996320824135395,8.841846274778883,2.739780868285504,620,26,119,9,9,197,93,151,0.13,0.807,0.063,-0.5539999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,1,9,9,0,1,4,0,10,1,1,3,3,26,20,12,0,2,5,0,2,2,2,2,0,1,0,1,8,9,0,1,4,0,1,0,7,4,0,3,4,3,20,5,20,14,0,19,0,2,0,0,18,7,0,1,13,81,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315679547009628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578545995984193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350684455402836,0.0,0.0,0.15433899305394005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359757807566005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6163739544182325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391383182873945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385308812500952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652224547005607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182042306788656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166381274219853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338512051720361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855431414562207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282687111515904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497049377577982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707425292114415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714926551650086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429087556874062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696107995885543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202121405415756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201798441530154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798790256135491,0.0,0.0,0.2617965338988418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381774140676814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017466924996672,0.2260595190473109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821602494240569
mentalhealth,GoldieTwit,2019/02/22,"I need help with my situation . Hello 

I don't know if this is the right place to post this but here goes.

I am 33 Single male . I don't have a full time job ( I sometimes work freelance graphic jobs)  . I Don't have siblings and I don't have friends Because I have moved a lot  . Also , I have hard time making friends because I don't find anyone who understand me and my personality.

Now, I have this habit of Head Banging ( I hit my head with my hands or in some cases when No one is around I hit my head against the wall ) . When ever I feel I cannot control the situation I am in , I try to Hit myself. 

1 month ago I was so depressed and sad that I continuously hit my head for 10 minutes . I felt fluid moving in my skull But I feel a sense of peace when I hit myself.

I don't know what to do ...

​

I Live in a very conservative place and I cannot visit a Doctor or Psychiatrist . 

​

I need Help .... I need someone to talk to . ",0.6853045685279184,2.655375030456856,2.9266269035533017,91.62405203045687,82.95939086294416,5.361319796954315,21.5251269035533,6.508806274219699,0.25151390862944195,719,23,164,7,20,245,102,197,0.118,0.8109999999999999,0.071,-0.8597,2,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,2,9,4,0,0,8,0,20,7,6,2,1,28,35,14,0,4,5,0,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,6,7,0,2,7,0,0,3,9,2,0,1,2,5,37,2,16,28,4,24,0,2,0,0,10,10,0,5,10,110,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607386743239024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866728331806614,0.0,0.2348631260887197,0.2633913385248991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578302811469427,0.0,0.0,0.09648272114138047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213699764579132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155933008738724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334902831265736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093329683869999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980374829876461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096021220019275,0.0,0.10406346075504977,0.0,0.0990589409845798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747091701114972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970887449389298,0.0,0.4449237071049822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452919828494657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151042939896748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912753268845495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570305638989718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092142274115843,0.0,0.0,0.07234564875757662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650926571549163,0.2303852611536367,0.0,0.24109104643207796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344226761001617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463474927713443,0.2264716874142617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379974128411096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255740828315696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24365121910416185,0.0,0.0,0.0918314911439336,0.0,0.10719230581692307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711313201844947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639652085783995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358408273186709,0.0,0.0,0.1128292069360662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942628085065836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890319286097408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633913385248991,0.0
mentalhealth,Thisoldeadbr,2019/02/22,"Thoughts / question My entire life, from the time I first crawled to a window as a baby and saw a grey overcast sky and  this has been the tone of my life.

Depressed, tired, uninterested, mood swings, anger, frustration, short fuse, social issues abound, bizarre fascinations, addictions, job failures, just general failure to launch I suppose.

My mother and step dad said I was just a bad worthless child, tried to say I did not apply myself, yet scored higher than all my classmates except Christy that B...

I've always felt bored but swelling with anxiety, it never goes away unless I focus on a task, which works for a while, but then the task starts to become boring and the anxiety returns..

I can have a new hobby every month and I'll go bananas on it, then just never touch it again.

I can't seem to have ""normal"" relationships with women, only a small subset of quiet ex victim types understand and accept me, the rest could never understand why I can't hold a job for more than 2 years, or never want to socialize, or go out with friends.

So I end up with girls that are either from bad homes, or aspergers and that's the only joy in life for me.  She doesn't berate me or yell, she knows when I'm in need of support, she knows I will protect her and be faithful and I'm sure she is on the same page 

But lately even those girls I believe are giving up on me.  I'm 35 and about to lose the best job I've ever had.  I don't even know why.  I just woke up one day, decided I was too anxious, and now I can only describe it as physical manifestations of mental issues.   Lately my neck and back seem to always hurt, and my stomach... oh my..

I have spent 17 years in a therapist office, I've tried SSRI, anxiety meds, ADD meds, CBT, trauma therapy, and many others.

The meds literally make me crazy, and emotionally unstable, and yes I've tried basically all of them, I just felt groggy and had creepy thoughts like that I should start shaving my legs, I'm a guy...

The therapy seems to be all stuff I already internally know, and knowing it doesn't really help outside of just knowing it's not normal which creates more feelings of hopelessness.

So then I read about and started practicing a therapy that involves the changing of the epigenetic functions of DNA.  Basically it's practice makes perfect.  The theory goes that epigenetic switches get flipped on or off in childhood, which result in certain behavioral traits.  So by just changing your behavior and for example, not getting upset at small issues, over time you'll rewire the switches and voila, no more issues right?

Well it's been 5 years, still nothing.  Now I just am an actor essentially, because internally I still want to melt down and Say something mean.  And I'll still break down but now I wait until 2 AM cuz that's a good time for that..

Next something interesting happened.  My mom called me and said that my real father who I had never met was in town and wanted to meet me.

So I did.

I'm a fkn clone...  He moves like me, laughs like me, thinks like me, tells the same shitty jokes word for fkn word like me.  He has the same half witted logic, he is depressed all his life, can't hold jobs for long, struggles with relationships, drugs, alcohol, etc.  He at one point even explains how he had all these weird fascination in his youth that mirror mine to a T.

I'm a fkn clone.

So I realized pretty fast that I'm not a POS.  I just had a mother who apparently mated with and reproduced with someone that is this way.  

My question is to people that maybe are similar, did you ever find a way to eek joy out of employment?  Have better social skills?  Etc?  Or is my theory that we aren't as malleable accurate?

I mean, ""people don't change"" has been a mantra since before Rome...like, is it true?

Starting to feel like I'm more of a set actor than this free willed coin your own adventure person I believed I was.  I'm just a freaking clone of some random guy with lots of issues and now I have them too.. 

Thanks ma!

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mentalhealth,User_Nomi,2019/02/22,"Bad day 
I’m sure we all have good and bad days. Today I’m having an exceptionally bad day. I haven’t done anything, I’ve eaten too much, I called in sick, I have a headache and I am constantly on the verge of tears.

I don’t know what to do. I need to alleviate the feeling somehow. How should I do it? Exercise? Meeting with friends? Taking a walk? I’m currently cuddling my dog but it’s too idle for me right now, but I’m also very unmotivated. I’m not reaaallyyy thinking of much that’s making me feel like this, it’s just a general sadness that comes on because of the state of my life, but it’s making me urge towards very, very bad tendencies. I don’t want to do that.

Does anyone have a thing for me to do? Any ideas? I don’t want it to be too idle. I can’t focus on it if it is. Thank you.",-1.2263583815028871,0.8259379942196574,1.6371236994219664,95.65050635838152,96.80346820809248,4.61771098265896,18.480693641618494,6.360717304075467,-0.08340952601156104,615,20,146,8,25,213,96,173,0.14,0.763,0.097,-0.8793,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,0,0,8,10,0,0,8,0,18,5,0,3,2,28,36,8,0,5,7,0,2,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,13,5,1,0,5,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,2,2,18,5,18,32,3,17,0,1,0,1,5,7,0,2,8,93,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022673039159736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223625903899558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051211245213695,0.0,0.12371689362091268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5021100080276992,0.09164578223491307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351380436054846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950447595198522,0.0,0.16246397764346074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908703139534207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156342314853234,0.15384987195730174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203269915968087,0.10740282483151882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161522016129589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609794034239688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971540062608384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826228544121637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618948801752827,0.07344846082131923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007060456891365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103418839926975,0.11147510000355697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283894175722755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416935372785236,0.0,0.11303686343924653,0.0,0.0,0.13841274275488516,0.0,0.0,0.09987912159565507,0.09633171076156204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250460692025896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37213838396207793,0.17734868723095285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FadeInlimerence,2019/02/22,"A working space for people suffering from mental health disorders Dear fellow redditors, 

I'm currently working on the creation of a safe working space for people suffering from mental disorders that combines various elements.

the idea for this space is to regroup people with various mental health issues so that they would be able to work, exchange and have a creative zone for painting, crafts etc. 

​

I would like to combine these in a villa like space, where people can come to either spend a couple of hours (or their whole day if they'd like) in an area that would stimulate their productivity, and allow them at the same time to relax, given the fact that where i come from, mental health issues are still a taboo, we do not have group therapies or suitable spaces allowing people dealing with such disorders to come together for a jugment free experience exchange or  activities. 

​

It's a space that aims to enhance productivity, creativity, while focusing on having an exchange zone where everyone would be able to trade ideas, experience etc.

​

My question is, what are the main elements to take into consideration for lighting, space management, furniture..) 

And what would be your expectations from such a space?

​",10.961536491677336,11.021481901408453,9.744916773367482,59.68513444302178,56.27699530516432,12.815877080665814,42.368331199317105,12.079253325248375,5.603773708920188,1027,49,143,27,11,321,118,213,0.028,0.8440000000000001,0.128,0.9578,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,1,1,5,4,7,9,0,0,16,0,18,3,0,3,1,33,24,9,0,7,6,0,0,3,1,5,3,0,0,0,10,10,0,2,4,1,6,3,1,2,0,0,1,1,10,8,29,14,8,27,0,2,0,0,11,18,0,5,9,106,20,6,0.14973609780784128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244779988314303,0.3638914965383146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934765845818858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284007209913936,0.0,0.048283697863877234,0.07718567097494666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25741581092239063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16699533000564684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153962912744641,0.0,0.1464706357605579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387437049911995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372994715036163,0.0,0.0,0.16903382848458626,0.0,0.15628558345185548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973024088969686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30179753656848257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595203917174476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386934913030837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059789720565672375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056291455332099664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561813873679389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04365616138877672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358750290906164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21801932510485253,0.0,0.0,0.26592056936041475,0.0,0.3638914965383146,0.0
mentalhealth,Ramirond,2019/02/22,"Honest Conversation About Overcoming Impostor Syndrome Yes, Impostor Syndrome is a real thing, and it seems to strike some of the most capable and talented.

​

In this article, two of Auth0’s most confident colleagues open up about having Impostor Syndrome and how they overcame feeling like fakes to reach the leadership team   


[https://auth0.com/blog/honest-conversation-about-overcoming-impostor-syndrome/](https://auth0.com/blog/honest-conversation-about-overcoming-impostor-syndrome/)",25.07412121212121,29.19652683636364,15.803636363636365,14.412121212121232,26.09090909090909,15.333333333333332,51.06060606060606,14.06817628641468,8.343060606060606,436,18,33,11,3,113,44,55,0.063,0.629,0.308,0.9408,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,1,3,4,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,11,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,3,8,4,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,4,1,25,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683672937999812,0.4131119098964929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190368598489222,0.24288119037255346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609665177147834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38697073177933017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30950427196771824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258670568913998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33211025282466805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131119098964929,0.0
mentalhealth,Macaroni_Bandit,2019/02/22,"When their is a lack of stimulus i quickly become frustrated and violent, almost exclusively when alone. For the past year or so I've begone to become incredibly frustrated and restless, sometimes even violent towards myself whenever their is a dostnct lack of stimulation. 

I would really like to see a professional about this but the mental health services in my area are awful, so for now I'm just trying to find some likely causes so I can atleast begin to understand why before I speak with a professional.

I have been previously diagnosed with depression, incase the extra info is important.

Anyone have any idea?   ",8.264285714285716,9.720806592592599,9.001216931216934,58.00833333333336,61.77777777777778,12.467724867724867,36.72486772486773,12.031772070788634,5.42345343915344,504,23,69,17,7,170,78,108,0.217,0.747,0.036000000000000004,-0.9559,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,10,8,4,1,7,1,9,2,0,2,0,18,13,9,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,9,2,13,11,4,10,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,3,9,56,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20737558995475364,0.21448782095758395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083160805277692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448055430218147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4574400099224111,0.17622247468927682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127434706435192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837050157081386,0.2101969260761496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678420349136644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892809524413373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22013215459409335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337848920349881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023521780569524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20870291212010808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976954794825428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267027185376132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502779271199727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20482211436692724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060381754109508,0.0,0.0,0.2155930554051031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687090181763147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711424844400556,0.0,0.0,0.13336230154729722
mentalhealth,Elliotglover03,2019/02/22,"I don’t know anymore Things haven’t really went well for a while. Not expecting anyone to listen to all this but if you are, thank you... genuinely. I’ve never been to a therapist because I’ve been scared of telling anyone how I’m feeling include friends and family. All that I know is that I have a low self-esteem and get depressive episodes. I’ve never self-harmed but I have tried to commit suicide twice. I don’t feel I have any friends and I know that no-one could be in a proper relationship with me. I’m 15 years old (turning 16 in late August) and doing my final tests in school before college, the stress from my inevitable failure is genuinely killing me. I used to be very optimistic person and powered through heart-aches but I just don’t have the will power anymore. I don’t know what I can do or if I’ll ever be happy again. Not expecting any advice but I needed to get this off my chest and this seemed like a good place to do so.",3.25763385146805,4.687897284974095,4.284994818652852,87.2582348877375,73.55958549222798,7.219205526770295,25.82003454231433,7.793537801064563,1.3497263557858377,748,25,154,10,15,243,112,193,0.146,0.693,0.16,-0.0184,2,0,0,0,0,2,21.0,0,2,0,2,6,12,1,2,7,0,23,1,1,2,6,36,40,16,2,6,10,0,2,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,8,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,9,5,1,1,3,3,19,7,16,32,2,17,0,2,0,0,8,6,0,4,11,100,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163725421394645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321511896300507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671926532554953,0.18838501638994246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211809123523765,0.0,0.11462846342012772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107555138012036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602570302449637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185309362080853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699279330398885,0.0,0.13622705547247765,0.0,0.0,0.14756844607678954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20815354196612526,0.0,0.14076104533982878,0.0,0.0,0.11298852950013585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340151920011834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963224269990028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14903688394801393,0.0,0.29613282493862936,0.0,0.1519589799178081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581260217030642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988591083313383,0.20779363095713824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413557004884592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762375585368218,0.14074349365145358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629880740775159,0.0,0.0,0.1446283473436588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486841657923174,0.1363339202943156,0.0,0.1226351121697898,0.2810642480990882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431008582075195,0.0,0.0,0.14735110099948442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774265762601625,0.12402305878660624,0.0,0.1564089319400589,0.0894954750744965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914593872555602,0.14652602110529667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163463661662112,0.0,0.11115002793400076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112065322839888,0.12487771055449552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674895600855287
mentalhealth,missmurphtang,2019/02/22,"Therapy-how to prepare? Hi all,

As a brief introduction, I am a functioning depressive/anxious mess.  I hold down a job, I make myself look presentable, and I go out with friends and family but all the time I feel like a complete fraud.  I get so anxious and annoyed with myself, and have no idea why anyone even likes me.  Of course, then I get upset and depressed, causing me to withdraw, which makes me think of course no one should put up with how intolerable I am...etc. etc.

I am currently taking setraline, which takes the edge off of the anxiety and depression and lets me function better, but I still think there is something making me feel hollow and fake and false.  I sometimes feel like I'm just in a video game - that I'm not even really real if that makes sense.  

I have thus booked an appointment with a private therapist.  I have tried councilling through the NHS but CBT does NOT work for me because I don't see my thoughts as distorted, just honest (if I was less lazy I would work out - that's not a false statement, it's true!) And I tried, very hard, to work through their exercises and while it does help calm my anxiety spirals sometimes, it feels rather like taking an aspirin for a broken leg, rather than actually getting a cast put on (if that makes sense).  I have my first meeting with my therapist next Tuesday, and, true to form, I am panicking because I don't have any idea what to say to her. I am functioning as an adult, and I am so scared she will tell me to man the fuck up and get over it (in kinder terms, of course).

Any advice on how I could prepare? I have a journal set aside for notes and prep, so I can do some work over the weekend.

Thank you so much for your advice in advance.",6.095713173466207,5.794469571005919,6.150261600747433,82.65324042354409,66.30769230769229,9.482653379009657,32.28651510432887,8.99025400887824,2.4447846153846156,1337,49,277,20,19,424,177,338,0.181,0.7070000000000001,0.112,-0.9794,2,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,2,1,7,14,19,2,2,19,0,22,4,1,9,4,64,48,32,0,8,13,0,5,4,1,3,2,1,0,2,11,22,0,1,10,5,0,5,7,8,0,2,2,8,43,11,39,41,8,30,0,2,2,1,14,13,1,4,15,185,54,6,0.0,0.0,0.09356107038908122,0.0,0.0,0.1873776842766996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130397830465119,0.0,0.14668963704304064,0.10831250277267528,0.0,0.06703867445116404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689014530699145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847944624463773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849098295866414,0.0,0.0,0.1005240809447782,0.0,0.0,0.07654912286457034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651555836463418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780333228536312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21385399516533968,0.12665028557004993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038328728148882,0.0,0.19391098927648395,0.13698755681693475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155201095929053,0.0,0.0,0.07407350012826594,0.08863574570874502,0.2003648501303232,0.0,0.05448849639131925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858859948824212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426361007815698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164644935777499,0.0,0.0,0.09514205948591016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803962686013426,0.0,0.18736053200947436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051162818761368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199896148038084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047983488639177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196513159124124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496800658073051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276356705223024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091277900622933,0.06142057119189054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624438199192357,0.0959885244172933,0.0,0.07640069737763497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380996944871031,0.18964747838934554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656663579967148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21626028612956508,0.0,0.08379978243351185,0.08826966838193577,0.0,0.22263867202431464,0.0,0.12286684006610395,0.0,0.0761147732622914,0.055906021601065455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018691624682274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910767725264888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865131077852481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791952547136928,0.0,0.0,0.06810750474572379,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AdressMeAsDirtyDan,2019/02/22,"Im not sure what I have All I know is that I can't feel for very long

I want to feel more emotion

Whenever I feel something It goes away in a second or two (no joke 1 or 2 seconds), then I'm completely calm but I know that I'm Angry/Sad/Happy/Curious. 

I tried to make myself cry/sad but when I tried I could only hold it for maybe 15 seconds before my expression went completely neutral and I felt no sadness whatsoever. I haven't really cried in years, and I thought that wasn't normal so I tried, but I still couldn't.

It feels like something keeps calming me down I'm really trying to hold on to my emotions for longer but they keep slipping away

Wtf is wrong with me. Help

​",1.8690865384615376,3.7000602569444467,3.4800000000000004,89.84192307692308,78.375,6.6529914529914524,23.57692307692308,7.61054688173877,1.0164365384615386,543,18,117,8,13,180,89,144,0.146,0.746,0.108,-0.8052,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,1,2,29,24,11,0,4,7,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,4,8,1,0,1,7,2,0,4,4,5,20,5,14,18,2,12,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,2,6,71,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14854583679592873,0.16658931283747425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576165340382671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666046602280605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874896977086865,0.0,0.0,0.1094617527728992,0.0,0.15059592936180186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084340324939233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772838665399635,0.09794297776466727,0.1316357668840686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189403007418373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480895765614667,0.0,0.0,0.2437183496545783,0.0,0.0,0.1506911648783578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697925288609725,0.0,0.0,0.12132758817688025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151410961956637,0.0,0.1377335639349217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432712220932322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426935503308588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565722838840558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108977675064625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948679547098156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921342611646874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884065266093867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723226996522904,0.0,0.13392501518100378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131203688014506,0.08086406738976509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270914001154662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498953539878525,0.16658931283747425,0.08828674251575695
mentalhealth,iamsadandgay,2019/02/22,"Eating Disorder i have a question. so ive struggled with depression and self image issues since i was about 13/14 (currently 20 going on 21) and in that time i developed an eating disorder. i would eat dry pasta, paper, ice, etc, just to feel full but never actually feel like im gaining weight. along with phases of the typical lack of appetite from depression but also stress eating and over eating. now in my 20’s every time i eat i feel nauseous no matter the portion and still sometimes the idea of food just makes me nauseous. i was wondering if anyone has had the same problem and what they did to help with it? ",7.920364145658263,6.967962058823531,8.208865546218487,71.53441876750702,62.865546218487395,10.958543417366949,34.9593837535014,10.125756701596842,3.5032341736694668,491,18,86,9,6,162,84,119,0.217,0.72,0.064,-0.9596,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,7,6,0,2,6,0,8,9,0,1,1,27,14,10,0,4,5,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,9,9,0,6,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,4,4,11,1,15,9,5,12,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,3,7,62,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.11477294909639366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405476791951403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822374769578426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20259915065100528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695884988334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7220824198605531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311691582786571,0.0,0.0,0.09909370304193664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784054201889923,0.08402247761812819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221764422914238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684196104910901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883325850782019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277032957863158,0.1270418095926286,0.12275701620982765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057459584188089274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850733562265473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071010139390484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253939125231044,0.0,0.0,0.1317530487880036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269561066830227,0.0,0.0,0.09729037277506447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632188629802145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392558845867327,0.0,0.13472485625692582,0.12295424450560433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716172644706698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322048339139634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754586692757502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354862917617491,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,siddhant1991,2019/02/22,"I dont know whats wrong I keep getting the fear that i will become schizophrenic and hear unreal voices. I panic like crazy, tell my self its impossible but i kinda get uncontrollable loud scream(in thought form not hearing it) and i panic. Always on home from work. Fuck man. Its scary. I need help ",1.4029824561403537,4.078477017543861,2.406315789473684,89.09087719298245,94.61403508771929,5.340350877192981,18.614035087719298,6.937597516519254,0.5530561403508769,238,7,45,4,9,75,48,57,0.331,0.564,0.105,-0.9451,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,4,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,11,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,1,2,5,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,4,8,1,2,9,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,1,1,1,1,23,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766158967993552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222537531477674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361529045814488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267400688921545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862806675037207,0.21054766182712373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542033752538028,0.0,0.13505914668890542,0.0,0.20211785266324286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909973210557345,0.0,0.0,0.11073744467185913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844122336732827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940742251960376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4728264714240456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21020524576808175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611720061199876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599660572246428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669216690193285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22030526450834412,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Strivax,2019/02/22,"Losing hope Sorry if my formatting sucks, i don't really post often. 


I am 19 and I've been dragging myself through the days for the past 3 years. Everything feels like a chore. During highschool I've convinced myself that if I did well enough in school and got good grades I'd be able to go to a decent university abroad and things would get better. And I did get into a good uni, and things felt okay for a while, but now I'm starting to feel even worse that before, and I'm lonlier than ever. I've been on medication for depression for three months now but I'm not sure it's helping. I have been having breakdowns from time to time and have turned to self harm to try to numb that pain. 

I don't know what to do. It's just really hard to see why I'm still around. I don't talk to friends about it because I'd feel like im just burdening them with my bullshit and that I'm just looking for attention. And I'm too scared of getting closer to anyone. 

Just wanted to throw this out there. ",2.864344660194174,4.193211296116504,3.923483009708737,89.86493325242719,74.38834951456309,7.0917475728155335,22.583737864077676,7.6454224807358475,0.7618262135922325,781,20,171,10,16,253,123,206,0.221,0.698,0.081,-0.9881,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,2,15,19,1,1,6,1,15,3,0,0,2,34,38,14,0,5,9,0,5,2,1,1,3,0,1,1,11,13,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,8,1,1,7,7,12,11,28,29,1,21,0,2,2,0,5,6,1,4,14,102,23,3,0.1417216129748641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909504698365668,0.0,0.0,0.1261622822744171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639217985702317,0.0,0.1205946543515907,0.0,0.0,0.12534124979154876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913987160322718,0.0,0.12206461758853665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643631077816385,0.0,0.09360578876153264,0.1281953126512306,0.0,0.0,0.1273702474794503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149761173343151,0.20249189725312028,0.13607497337262045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949376662871886,0.0,0.2221310803065067,0.0,0.08054365862946791,0.2377387300538624,0.1133477204117301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695472826378126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949930098136626,0.0,0.0,0.14076153923731918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308366156374065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788649215061234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847604292867538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901046139858068,0.15855023393421938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276961520229658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312083937348046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080178832191812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352893157192734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573012975771984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181580988521999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418880581231181,0.14342983848637536,0.11293377678187988,0.0,0.14784655066809368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586457428060107,0.10031128710074763,0.0,0.11317906319099705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357094302241282,0.0,0.0,0.11391046418990886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883070846563439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16527802444132936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621967235893246,0.15415241853101905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359107921295357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742475014589502,0.0,0.1278817123230344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442643123750962,0.1006749676656223,0.0,0.0,0.09126407223021228
mentalhealth,maximumwill,2019/02/22,"How do you know that you are depressed and not just discontent? Without a significant event occurring or real thoughts of suicide, how did you guys confirm it?  

Recently I’ve developed a verbal twitch to help with my anxiety. I quit my job at McDonald’s yesterday and I feel better but I’m lucky to still live with my mother. Anyway....

Things I will say out loud when I’m by myself, thinking of my circumstances and past events are things like “just fucking end it” “oh ffs” I can’t be arsed anymore” and other groans u might expect from physical pain.

The thing is I don’t feel suicidal, or at least think I don’t. I would jokingly “fantasise” about throwing myself in front of cars on the way home from work but I know I would never do it. Especially right now I am happy because I have time to find new work.

I just want to see some other people’s “coming out” stories of when you guys finally realised it was an issue. Where do you draw the line ?",2.8596256684491976,4.965961165775403,4.222994652406417,84.37802139037436,76.37967914438501,7.608556149732621,25.438502673796787,8.4952907291091,1.8534513368983965,746,27,145,15,17,246,124,187,0.125,0.785,0.09,-0.8288,1,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,5,0,4,12,8,1,0,6,0,18,3,0,2,1,37,31,12,2,4,9,1,2,1,0,4,2,2,1,2,10,9,0,0,8,1,0,4,6,3,0,0,3,5,23,5,21,23,2,27,0,1,1,1,10,8,1,5,15,101,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002380132143902,0.0,0.14263325102994062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767284712768818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719929338459088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389032910850507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387408878038055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738402593703166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544193160652275,0.0,0.0,0.15755049367500587,0.13145113850478604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296156255366806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848137281316464,0.0,0.15310170124016806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640117475187407,0.0,0.14426567109847865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011329983890387,0.14272161634865727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580821442619821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026439755673085,0.0,0.12699788222850125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257292012463314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092476071335533,0.13890464459696542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530372558721206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372948282436602,0.09970839668187828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529729078536088,0.0,0.16370146568620328,0.0,0.0,0.14200734526251732,0.0,0.0,0.12282360961003268,0.0,0.1143734064008073,0.0,0.0,0.11460789348916173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485681599446973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146368932277569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286647789304407,0.18431127205611136,0.0,0.11417898169015933,0.08386404298625298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483022330498556,0.11415958793605492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863973560654227,0.0,0.2094089524912711,0.0,0.0,0.2043347225255948,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,potatonewb1,2019/02/22,I Entertain Delusion Thoughts: Please Help Me For the last few weeks I have been entertaining legitimately delusional thoughts. I believe the thoughts are a real possibility for a few minutes before coming to the realisation they are absolutely delusional and irrational. What kinds of thoughts? Thoughts in which I think my friends have been placed in my life as actors. In which I think everything is set up like a game. Is this the early warning signs of schizophrenia?,6.295749999999997,9.610749075,5.715,71.9,70.75,9.0,36.25,9.516144504307137,4.167875,386,21,60,10,8,118,54,80,0.059,0.7509999999999999,0.19,0.8778,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,7,0,8,1,0,0,0,11,16,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,7,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,9,5,10,9,2,10,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554064946391722,0.20576387441183816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573214121853365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641379859541356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110113377827616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224144697767946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901832634902779,0.0,0.1488695648895592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899847739895295,0.08922483562292789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19081170888139454,0.2004752398571704,0.0,0.20589029023171795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20787535188487047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340465943564323,0.0,0.7249475713979033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464964817861537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_luxaurumque,2019/02/22,"How does the onset of schizophrenia happen? Female 21 Hi, I’m a 21 year old female and I’m concerned I may be developing schizophrenia. I don’t know if I hear things or not and it’s kinda confusing. It sounds like it’s like, voices inside my head but voices outside my head at the same time and I only get them when it’s quiet. Just now I heard “I have a cutie list” which makes no sense to me at all. Does anyone have any information from experience on signs that you’re developing schizophrenia? 
I have also been previously diagnosed with substance abuse issues, generalized anxiety disorder and major depression if that helps at all. Thanks! ",2.886733021077287,5.721007860655737,4.251194379391105,80.10475409836069,81.04918032786884,7.092271662763466,22.648711943793913,8.192908349453996,1.6948974238875874,517,17,91,11,14,170,86,122,0.163,0.73,0.108,-0.8483,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,1,4,0,7,3,2,2,2,23,16,11,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,6,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,6,11,3,8,12,4,9,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,6,7,56,19,0,0.0,0.24091149775617504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260204776396772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827062435551332,0.0,0.15554605186357348,0.0,0.0,0.14217229442031254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512688351580732,0.2063745533266017,0.0,0.0,0.23303253483883224,0.0,0.3558689809680439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988946798281294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623095809032468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17980307464952985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4173482233078067,0.0,0.22916644764589306,0.0,0.13628707559245684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122225449558654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174424585749976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19867245987241366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357236195368702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133594768092998,0.0,0.0,0.15464079070097445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18719793289949246,0.0,0.0,0.13508268624973682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856271664090187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093714511533922
mentalhealth,Lexloner,2019/02/22,Interaction between metronidazole and lithium. Im having a really bad spike in my depression. Im on 600 mg of lithium daily. I was prescribed metronidazole a week ago and finished my treatment. I was looking up a side effect from the drug and cam with a search question that had lithium in it and i looked it up and it said it can create build up of lithium or something and now I’m wondering if thats connected to how I’m feeling. My doctor is not in till next monday but I’m having some bad troubles but if i go to the hospital i fear i might get sent inpatient as I’ve cut. But something needs to happen. Idk what to do.,1.3558816964285685,3.701573539062501,3.5554017857142854,85.85656250000002,83.140625,6.4696428571428575,26.330357142857146,7.7094869923839395,1.7654044642857143,495,22,97,9,14,169,80,128,0.177,0.8009999999999999,0.022,-0.9669,0,0,3,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,1,6,0,9,2,0,2,0,22,22,15,0,3,7,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,7,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,5,4,9,0,18,16,1,17,0,1,2,0,4,8,0,7,7,65,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167038696242276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32340069684716033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668014855785571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982220816573111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22458736374710292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21792449109153966,0.09792173042900816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101180819690086,0.0,0.11006303201321058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125537416662068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4183781126929121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252559530000451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054456261710001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359851206259333,0.0,0.0,0.20596258450519334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169466574437889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240653484877536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842176708206887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981821693880222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553446163349652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21001904513975225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ovwgt,2019/02/22,"Should I get checked out? I'm a fourth-year college student and have always struggled with my self-perception. I've never been medically assessed for anything mental health-related, so I was wondering if I should make that a priority. 

Some of my tendencies include extreme forgetfulness. I will often set down my phone and then two seconds later have to practically send out a search party to find it. Some things I do completely evade my memory recall. Every day, when I leave the house and get in my car, I will immediately forget if I locked the door or not. I've often had to turn around halfway to school because I can never remember if the door is locked, the oven is turned off, my bedroom light is off, or some combination of the three. 

It is very, very hard for me to focus in class. I'll listen to a lecture for just a few minutes out of a 50 minute class. When people are talking to me, I often don't listen to what they say. It's not that I don't care what they have to say; I just get bored. I'm sidetracked very easily, and my legs never stop jittering when I'm sitting down. I am tired nearly every waking moment of every day. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get. 

I never thought that I had a problem, but I've been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. I'm not sure what kind of professional I should seek out, if any at all. Any advice or similar stories would be much appreciated. ",4.991182795698926,5.598995878136204,6.188333333333336,78.30250000000005,68.71326164874553,8.924014336917566,28.761648745519715,8.998388855275968,2.234485304659499,1106,37,215,19,18,372,153,279,0.058,0.897,0.045,0.1599,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,2,0,11,6,0,1,13,0,27,5,3,2,6,51,43,18,0,9,13,0,1,0,0,6,2,4,4,0,11,10,0,1,4,0,1,2,10,3,0,3,6,6,28,3,32,30,8,31,0,0,0,0,9,13,0,15,14,152,39,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392867888724835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701075545503464,0.0,0.0,0.15856800250254502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594218764306182,0.1037882518341382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107110903398019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886948098407928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224055156409595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503795395241971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946918620894891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655953928025272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436501738070397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444016286829487,0.0,0.0,0.1239278473177902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345271756423203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140871098570648,0.0,0.0,0.13151661306268414,0.12345011225634182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991191525008068,0.0,0.0,0.07782355559139692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745038619901127,0.11749352417728495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17141154258135965,0.0,0.3596801528183663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080827605859091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155920019299197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207174851779274,0.0,0.0,0.18543129607872347,0.0,0.1179935233334972,0.0,0.0,0.24325392275596705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116672438735859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747298920207596,0.0,0.1218833425767015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988303653210492,0.0,0.0,0.0937092111108963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774560461816729,0.0,0.0,0.09255803960913432,0.0,0.1340010311756447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253629052152668,0.11388976964694322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885925245801696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643497307055085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282094068927705,0.0,0.0,0.07507900413084863
mentalhealth,anonymous5873,2019/02/22,"I am ruining not just my own life but everyone else's too. I have anxiety attacks so bad that sometimes I just...scream. Usually I just rock and sob until they stop. I've gone to the hospital and doctor 100+ times in my life for psychosomatic pain that is so painful even an emergency room doctor thought something serious was wrong once to the point I was given tests for hours. 

I am afraid to die and am a hypochondriac in the sense that if I have chest pain I immediately think it is a heart attack and then it gets worse because anxiety and then yeah suddenly I feel like I'm dying and am convinced of it.

Tonight I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. My dad screamed and screamed at me during it about how fucking crazy I am and how I need to be tied to a bed in a psych ward and how suicidal he is because of me.

No one in my family wants to deal with me anymore. My friends are tired of me texting them during a panic attack needing comfort. They tell me to calm down and control them but 6 years of therapy and trying at least 15 different medications over a decade haven't been able to control it. I can't control it. I'm ruining their lives and I can't control it someone please help me please I need help I can't stop crying and I can't fucking breathe and I just can't fucking do this anymore nothing has stopped this. I can't control it and neither can any medicine. Weed doesn't help CBD oil doesn't help alcohol doesn't help. I can't do this I can't fucking do this .",2.553174325674327,4.2473607759740295,3.933246753246756,87.96245254745257,75.98051948051949,7.205994005994007,28.07992007992008,8.012643519586192,1.7400275724275718,1181,50,251,19,26,389,156,308,0.287,0.5820000000000001,0.131,-0.9962,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,5,5,12,28,8,3,11,1,34,17,3,8,1,42,50,26,3,5,7,1,1,1,1,0,10,2,2,0,15,16,1,8,3,1,0,1,15,23,0,1,8,4,37,5,25,41,4,24,0,3,0,4,15,10,5,1,14,160,52,4,0.07908869323527701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452176066102117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378302346684058,0.0,0.12100526769942807,0.0,0.1568694638471336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598992246783788,0.0,0.0,0.0660357553145329,0.09642346664302824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4435234725572476,0.0,0.0,0.08687521580002147,0.0,0.0815369699527044,0.0,0.0,0.16416315416776744,0.0826308512605853,0.0,0.16190125760237048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606845475861674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052237335978669884,0.07154025094444721,0.0,0.07557263565779665,0.0,0.0,0.07455778126877398,0.0,0.03998961964909824,0.056500978249950026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611037282055889,0.2924648899111573,0.04132057794999807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372048228101436,0.2650574197875137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788643163269039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172536592521663,0.038638740590553035,0.0,0.06983676509877945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967353788201409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592979171429413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758877341931004,0.0,0.0,0.08422687711985324,0.0535925453676925,0.0,0.2524678373094447,0.1855870818013796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17363127056699454,0.07476437883214343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701159312573994,0.06088633997647162,0.07822073990233856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198365066705846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651019378504768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912700386289497,0.0,0.09044481336250072,0.0,0.0,0.050676841163699235,0.0,0.06278758813604825,0.04611725303991323,0.09090081845717723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05369603118858216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710502203223949,0.0,0.04664856038755063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059813514283905,0.0,0.08647107050171259,0.0,0.05093052541885483
mentalhealth,andrewg06,2019/02/22,"My anorexia recovery Hey everyone so not many people know this but I suffered from anorexia for over 3 years of my life, it took control of my life to the point where I was only existing and not living a life which was pretty shitty really back in April I decided I’d had enough and wanted to get my life back, I found my love for the gym I personally feel that exercise and finding a purpose in life can massively help mental health ? it’s taken me 8 months to get to where I am and although I have slip ups which is natural and totally fine I’m certainly in a better place than I was ? my aim now is to carry on improving and developing a better relationship with food, exercise and life ? I suppose what I’m trying to get at is that mental health should be spoken about and the stigma surrounding it should be broken if your reading this and are going through something shitty then it WILL get better and there is a way through it but please open up and talk to someone about your worries because it really can save your life ☺️ if anyone ever needs to open up my dms are always open #mentalhealth #anorexia #anorexia_recovery #anorexia_survivor #motivation 

[my recovery ](https://imgur.com/gallery/H8ehSuA)",5.969383333333332,7.52230063555556,6.466819444444448,73.74556250000002,67.08888888888889,9.713888888888887,30.50694444444445,9.978442167317967,3.174561111111111,973,37,166,23,16,316,131,225,0.086,0.732,0.182,0.9765,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,5,10,8,0,0,8,0,19,13,0,2,3,36,34,18,0,6,6,0,1,0,0,3,11,0,0,1,13,15,1,1,6,4,0,2,2,1,0,0,7,1,21,7,28,22,2,28,0,1,0,1,9,17,0,2,8,118,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484515226988614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970138339186615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529578444093424,0.0,0.06948456515671532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024330067505637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784454531811826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777759739844287,0.0,0.0,0.10310650303582763,0.0,0.1089181276974666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057634545382753824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418077543503937,0.0,0.13783184269631146,0.12497932946904307,0.0,0.0,0.2382110903777484,0.0,0.06478064455905189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423227299736487,0.0,0.0,0.07640214647614721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626435060166764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5635798127773411,0.0,0.0,0.10065137510156554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287645632747563,0.0,0.0,0.11556350993582945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22974135474051316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098222023147558,0.0,0.0,0.0845188797635435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669118690060877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902326447575328,0.09952783125681844,0.11909069375460228,0.12512196203877018,0.10775323753077347,0.0,0.0,0.11596433605400837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401644837479395,0.0,0.1460441911415889,0.0,0.0,0.12237787889785005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657963089086756,0.08775168544627214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161730939229178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664219817620542,0.07738874171767443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06723166147335552,0.09047646547458196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575791207971856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340299068552601
mentalhealth,zev_rosenberg,2019/02/22,Here is a rap song I made about my mental health journey. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUbGloO\_9xw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUbGloO_9xw) hope some of you enjoy it :) ,21.4957894736842,28.74248515789473,6.746578947368422,63.61355263157896,39.526315789473685,5.905263157894738,20.026315789473685,7.1686216300943375,0.5155052631578951,154,2,15,1,2,30,19,19,0.0,0.613,0.387,0.8577,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,2,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,10,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.529672394340057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4949269471068546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4715059972546758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5021718493249431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,not-my-rum,2019/02/22,"I’ve Been Having a Panic Attack For Almost Three Days And I Don’t Know What to Do? Hey everyone,

I feel like the title mostly says it. I’ve had a lot going on in my life right now, and I haven’t been dealing with any of it very well lately. I’ve had issues with depression and anxiety since as long as I can remember, but it’s really different this time. I’ve been having these particular panic attacks on and off for around a month, but it’s been getting more and more consistent.

No one really notices because when I used to get panic attacks as a child, my mom would restrain me, and hold me tighter and tighter until I “calmed down” (she thought I was misbehaving). So it’s like I’ve learned to keep all signs of a panic attack deep inside of me. But it just feels like my brain is going to explode. It feels like fireworks inside my head, and also I keep constantly shaking, and having this weird metallic taste thing when I think directly of the thing that’s triggering it.

I keep having jaw pain in the night from clenching my teeth too much too. Does anyone know how I can ease this? I’m normally so good at calming myself down, but it’s been almost 3 days straight of pure panic attack, and I literally am out of solutions. It’s tremendously affecting my grades in school, and my work, as well as my relationships. I’ve already failed two exams because I couldn’t calm myself down enough to study, much less actually take the exam, I’ve been late to work constantly because I hardly even notice what time it is, and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone because their voice makes me want to punch a wall right now.",6.7787616099071215,5.997539879256967,7.127120743034059,77.8057275541796,65.06811145510835,10.200619195046439,31.693498452012385,9.478462496947786,2.6448650154798763,1283,41,253,21,17,419,167,323,0.166,0.71,0.124,-0.9579,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,3,15,26,5,6,10,0,24,7,4,5,2,52,44,28,0,4,5,1,5,5,0,1,2,2,0,1,20,16,1,5,10,0,0,3,5,15,2,3,10,8,32,11,37,32,9,36,0,2,0,0,9,17,0,4,21,166,52,8,0.0,0.0,0.07415108672248236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217741429967585,0.0,0.08385211464630474,0.06076574059977674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051672884860298696,0.0,0.05812885611736951,0.0,0.0,0.1062619429708588,0.0,0.0,0.06764338709243728,0.0,0.4322235437726568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528072125762696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482517643220833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422710474010252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800898678854024,0.07833792502984457,0.06544637611954507,0.0,0.0,0.0793888886839763,0.0,0.0,0.06649560224604692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851354521956352,0.0,0.050187841319459234,0.0,0.0,0.07260759714154516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536826216554373,0.21713681049589492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939878902820169,0.0,0.0863688541503027,0.06373320398928305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806826630230936,0.0,0.07798325490375436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930933400624902,0.0,0.20261875702234855,0.0,0.0,0.08351951221612113,0.0,0.17143036922333585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05367095039746003,0.18561388566352785,0.0,0.0,0.06724495753331848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460032886574797,0.0,0.0,0.050721047929310516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899353898433085,0.06065106454968903,0.0,0.11171647197095297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130743645291833,0.07444985731827218,0.0,0.17302045687319592,0.0,0.0,0.05148988003365938,0.0,0.08085414719673141,0.4457642621836813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735677631849296,0.0,0.0,0.08158020999711485,0.08607699090298747,0.12978275327860986,0.0,0.06042688222435071,0.0,0.0769015898447092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285616014665188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713179340059388,0.0610744311546089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009630516349684,0.04868857140673695,0.0,0.0603241618502573,0.08861575094876993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422699234214021,0.0,0.0,0.06562725190855806,0.0,0.06269616424845731,0.044818337356782194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366405480922996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063699602135284,0.0,0.0,0.053978064486117916,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LLITM_19,2019/02/22,"I have a funny feeling (Throwaway account, sorry if this isn’t the right place for this post. First time actually posting on reddit. Sorry if this everywhere.)

I (24 f) technically have been diagnosed with mild depression that was during check up at the doctor’s office. They made me take a test and the wording was confusing so I’m more in the mild-mild severe. I haven’t seen a therapist yet but plan to because i don’t want to take meds and call it good. I say this because...idk maybe it’s relevant? (Probs not)

Anyway, I recently been feeling really weird. I’ll try to explain as much as i can but it’s hard to explain. For the last month, almost 2, I’ve been having this feeling of being uncomfortable. Like something is wrong but i don’t know what. I wish i could explain it better but i just feel uncomfortable. It will come out of no where or when i feel self conscious. This is really abnormal since this feeling doesn’t usually happen but has been frequent recently. I just don’t know what to do. Sometimes it comes and internally i’m sobbing, like i feel my mind crying for some reason. Nothing in my life is going bad just the usual youngster trying to pay bills and make more money. I just came back from my dream vacation (Korea and Japan) and that trip really helped accept my mental health wasn’t actually okay like I liked to think. After i came back, maybe a couple weeks is when my uncomfortable feeling started to show up.

I don’t know, maybe someone can relate? I don’t know how else to explain it but i just feel right when it happens. 

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mentalhealth,silas771,2019/02/22,"What was it like being raised by an abusive parent and how did you grow from it? My father is a psychopath that would constantly manipulate my sister and I since early childhood, he would constantly lie and was very narcissistic and manipulative, as well as emotionally and physically abusive. He has never once trusted me ever in my entire life. And would purposely make every single holiday miserable when I was a child and it was his night Christmas Eve (my parents divorced when I was 3 and my dad fought for 50/50 custody for no reason other than punishing my mom) Santa would never come. Nor did the Easter bunny or tooth fairy. He refused to give us those little childhood things like Santa for some reason. He has never admitted to things he has done lives in a constant state denial of his actions. He is a bonafide narcissist and uses everyone with extreme angers. And absolute lack of remorse and empathy... extreme callousness. One day I had enough a month before I was to start high school and stopped going to his and speaking with him. I have not spent more than 3 hours with him in the Years since but I’m still forced to have contact with him more often than I’d like because sometimes I’m in need of his assistance financially (as he is my father and a child needs things at times) and every time I’m in contact with him it’s always unpleasant and he’s an asshole Atleast in some form whether he’s a smart ass or just all out abusive. I have endured a plethora of trauma in my life thanks to him and have healed and come along way and healed from a lifetime/childhood of abuse. But I still have anxiety and depression and occasional lack of emotion (because my whole childhood he never allowed me to have “feelings” whether it was happy sad or mad unless he was experiencing the same emotion at the same exact time for the same exact reason (which he rarely did). He was a tyrant with STRICT RULES that where meant with a harder punishment than if one where to break a commandment and be dammed to hell so you’d be stupid if you broke one of his rules. I have gone through so much more than I could honestly write a book about and I remember new things every day. But I’ve grown a lot since I last lived with him. But I believe I’m still healing and still have a long way to go. So it’d be cool if other people shared their stories too and how they healed from their experiences.",7.011002836642753,6.968231219088937,6.810900216919742,77.81223886200569,64.3579175704989,9.608576672784917,33.13207074920741,9.162432508145574,2.7720791923911237,1916,71,357,29,26,605,226,461,0.179,0.754,0.066,-0.9953,3,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,1,3,3,0,19,23,7,1,22,1,39,8,2,10,8,93,60,49,0,12,15,7,1,3,0,4,6,1,0,2,17,37,0,2,7,2,1,8,7,12,1,3,18,4,42,11,55,31,17,59,1,4,0,1,50,14,2,10,36,255,59,2,0.0,0.3668313223223932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440404475234225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921174831689791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436617342794862,0.0,0.06586276724270312,0.08720470916488772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133348655435722,0.0,0.2509297784834122,0.0,0.06179860402280918,0.0,0.0,0.0998348126238654,0.0,0.06666558762517248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920835713844564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611979822869602,0.0,0.07997618720763079,0.0,0.0,0.07001386656938652,0.19564168720405056,0.07396021623338353,0.0,0.07571327965226972,0.0,0.0,0.039136400240566915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742503367982291,0.08797783400452043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239507535498374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177867566725558,0.0,0.0,0.07622464500622624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309235353779133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109341591048908,0.11344303070240044,0.07757639167827103,0.13669345267073174,0.0684976751134377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658037792153375,0.0,0.0,0.051665938828998184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906514145320618,0.06178094339267433,0.0,0.05689882842214779,0.11478409986036545,0.2387864783650765,0.07475461452104004,0.0,0.07263583463345911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242981060836263,0.15734728090628766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718898679988588,0.0,0.0,0.053660284579336484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23874414429940025,0.0,0.0,0.08768053358787213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833420244603104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19208135425486514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655182046724557,0.0,0.0547850067621622,0.0,0.24725096931620344,0.06471091508636713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126067653591192,0.0,0.0,0.20568781847848436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539988292983762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931041797546362,0.06684983297956294,0.0,0.06386414159636729,0.0,0.12287502717856555,0.0,0.0,0.06959302387774524,0.0,0.0,0.08641573719300946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199345235716937,0.0,0.0,0.04984387060304578
mentalhealth,-zaogao-,2019/02/22,"Advice for a really stressful situation tomorrow I'm a grad student in a health-related field, and part of the program is doing a semesterly clinical rotation. At my clinical rotation tomorrow, I have to act as the facilitator for an hour-long discussion group. The group is for people with acquired disabilities resulting from stroke, traumatic brain injury, brain cancer, etc.

I have never met or seen most of the people that will be in this discussion. I am supposed to somehow, as a young adult student, confidently advise a bunch of middle aged+ adults who have all kinds of different varieties/severities of disabilities and have experienced some really difficult stuff on how to reduce their daily stress. They are taking time out of their day and coming to the clinic just for this discussion group that I feel wholly unqualified to lead; I am an absolute nervous wreck and it's going to show. I apparently seemed so worried about it that my supervisor contacted one of our faculty members to ask if I was okay, then also called me tonight to see how I was feeling. This was super nice of her but I was literally just trying not to cry during the entire conversation because I'm panicking so much. I feel really embarrassed and like an idiot for being this upset; I'm in my last semester and this stuff should be easy at this point. It literally takes every bit of my energy just to go to my clinical placement every day and I'm barely even doing anything there because I'm so anxious. After 4 semesters of this I am physically and mentally beyond drained. My depression has also gotten really severe recently and I feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. Not just over this thing tomorrow, but over my grad program in general.

Anyway, I have no idea how I'm going to get through this tomorrow; I honestly would not be surprised if I just ran out of the building. I don't feel skilled enough to facilitate a good discussion. I have a couple discussion questions to ask and an outline of some points my supervisor advised me to instruct on, but I have no idea how to find appropriate points in the conversation to transition into the points I'm supposed to make, how to make the conversation flow, how to get people to talk if they're not talking, what happens if the discussion ends too early, etc.

Sorry this got kind of long, I'm just asking if anyone has any advice about how to handle this, things to do to keep myself calm, techniques to facilitate discussion, etc.",9.091659562375675,8.362495045751638,9.46886047172492,62.720306905370855,60.4161220043573,13.124220896087904,39.346499952638055,12.278803558989836,5.148506033911148,2002,89,325,59,23,672,226,459,0.129,0.794,0.077,-0.9709,2,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,3,4,27,20,1,6,24,1,31,8,2,11,2,65,67,34,0,7,19,0,6,2,0,3,6,0,0,2,23,15,0,1,10,1,0,8,8,9,0,1,9,9,34,11,68,51,12,46,0,1,2,0,32,20,0,12,20,242,57,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644175879153484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455407585327292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05720984555132382,0.0,0.0,0.09504056214431636,0.0,0.058824172114466215,0.0,0.06923007984322184,0.0,0.2359446435301097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256715369622046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184585969591924,0.0,0.0,0.18782908117750405,0.08590397496951882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724687223208377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308590279745044,0.09241052952743416,0.10851105007922936,0.0,0.07245922266224672,0.0,0.0,0.08789573240163913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451233417627108,0.08692659230932946,0.2814744844366565,0.05556567352883834,0.0,0.14176274026954544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21268792792874647,0.060100976680332235,0.0,0.0,0.0768913612838837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879066936081901,0.0,0.1434354445201495,0.07056247714010101,0.06728475354960639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439400941666892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942400601212121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284901883578905,0.0,0.0,0.18994028045951655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477672817112876,0.0,0.1752124891392537,0.0,0.06857545333559466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220126869015011,0.0,0.0,0.14890105884303986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231203081005507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478111933528733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184367414627904,0.0,0.06488460996500546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057007231009954834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110229947407256,0.0,0.17497104489568086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181121692323373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424248293128212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21557790518621206,0.0,0.08306613555232062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703903096236133,0.07658686538657992,0.0,0.19008112428863272,0.0,0.0,0.09456326571426388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417427776776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273641229574096,0.0,0.19261259804978054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650739688154594,0.13523761187077402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178165504099327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04905564532442865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711731050062348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543594921444657,0.0,0.0597620345904634,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Antique_Dirt,2019/02/22,"Depression and Anxiety have me stuck I’m awake all the time. I’ve been running on like 4 - 5 hours of sleep every night for no reason other than the fact that my heart is racing. My lack of sleep gives me pounding headaches that make it impossible to function. Oh yeah and next week I have finals. I feel like a freak and I’m just so exhausted I want to cry all the time but that makes my headaches worse. Please help, I’m at the end of my rope.",0.06951612903225879,2.3835055483870997,1.389489247311829,98.90423387096772,90.29032258064517,4.820430107526882,17.427419354838708,6.42735559955562,-0.33984516129032283,348,9,81,4,12,110,65,93,0.188,0.6829999999999999,0.129,-0.5902,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,5,1,4,4,3,3,3,14,13,5,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,1,9,2,9,11,3,11,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,10,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568774570812868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235507058983429,0.0,0.0,0.17528641441429704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802531052296754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17146942463916995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029028546155271,0.1453905288799308,0.0,0.2229397721298768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19522928950379656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411652135550576,0.13641122557551666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004204146263157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19885343948783488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27169451248529564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21643957675912984,0.1909842163617458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22339739098103167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092464118666708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073221934145857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373414414278221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003790157809124,0.0,0.16324675227845314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073982762442502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wadleszzz22,2019/02/22,"I'm 19 and I think I have ADHD I have looked at all the research and read everything i can and compared my symptoms with the research and compared them to my boyfriend who has ADHD-PI. A little over a year ago I went to my mom and voiced my concerns but all i got in return was her saying what are they going to do? and everyone says they have it, you don't.

**MY QUESTION IS** just what do you think? i really just want confirmation from people who have gone through the diagnosing process at 19 and really understand my struggle and can just be one more confirmation that my symptoms do seem to line up with ADHD.

**SYMPTOMS**

* easily distracted in class and cant sit still
* stare at professor but cant take anything in
* stare blankly at lecture slides
* always get really frustrated when people walk slow (I'm short they should be walking faster than me)
* forget what im saying mid sentence
* interrupt people mid sentence because I get an idea based off of what they're saying
* get distracted really easily
* when im talking to people i nod and respond but have no idea what they're actually saying
* stop doing homework for 2 seconds and then its 30 minutes later and im doing something random
* i get really overwhelmed with a lot of work
* i have to read a sentence 4 or 5 times to actually know what i just read",1.8007279411764685,4.512967694117648,3.4362438725490208,84.61965992647059,85.78431372549021,6.3247549019607865,24.04718137254902,7.6454224807358475,1.6111004901960784,1042,41,191,20,32,344,136,255,0.104,0.8390000000000001,0.057,-0.9417,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,4,1,7,5,1,4,8,0,23,4,0,0,2,39,41,19,0,2,8,1,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,0,11,15,0,1,8,3,0,6,4,5,0,2,4,9,27,0,26,34,4,33,0,1,3,0,18,14,0,5,12,126,38,10,0.0,0.0,0.1847469139186053,0.0,0.3412849017259704,0.0,0.08390942641315212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876380931309314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789623054839269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05770320263320815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607681722869096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045066021182617,0.08507333895165171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19782152750820284,0.0,0.0537968490019332,0.0,0.07570739029568055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137168108227955,0.3067436505595204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05202207012711695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487311153889832,0.0,0.0,0.07948965729211922,0.0,0.0,0.08047563376070771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086338995666584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414333797871095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624983221811988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603966071529626,0.0,0.2840536258340654,0.0,0.3032046590433199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763828860139629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617393099418541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728730657706709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559474049566835,0.07913910059434613,0.0,0.0989580620017273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29516060478090345,0.07117173182436208,0.07608325901801823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130723510722365,0.0,0.0,0.055196380916293385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854328018301804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583228702107456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774977265186447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891282543392807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095724476158789
mentalhealth,Luquinthia,2019/02/22,LPT: Don't take fiber at the same time as your other medications. Taking fiber within two hours of other medications can render them ineffective. Don't do what I did and accidentally pull yourself off your meds while still taking them. ,7.1014285714285705,8.965137714285714,7.289047619047621,67.73928571428571,64.71428571428571,9.40952380952381,25.904761904761905,9.725611199111238,2.439133333333334,192,5,31,4,3,62,33,42,0.095,0.905,0.0,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,5,0,5,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702097014180636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30477508235929823,0.5528193404352567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21912076661295354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6189003759892283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999358184623758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680300566737365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bagelsiguess,2019/02/23,"Caught myself drafting notes in my head Full disclosure, I'm not diagnosed with any mental illnesses. I've been in a weird mindset lately: I don't really see the point to things and am generally nihilistic. I often make jokes about wanting to die, and they are true to an extent. It's like a passive thing: if there was a button to press that would kill me, I wouldn't press it myself, but I really wouldn't mind it if someone or something pressed it. I've been in this mindset on and off for about 3-4 years. 

I like to let my mind wander while listening to music. 2 days ago, I was in the car with my parents, listening to music, and letting my mind do its thing. I snapped back into what I was thinking and realized that I was subconsciously drafting suicide notes. Thing is, consciously, I still wouldn't press the button, but I don't know what I should make of this. Can someone help? ",5.302954545454547,5.735762022727273,5.869318181818183,81.4802272727273,67.97727272727272,9.127272727272727,30.20454545454545,9.095868883498916,2.3792909090909085,700,25,139,12,11,227,101,176,0.09,0.831,0.08,-0.5647,1,0,1,0,0,2,23.0,0,0,1,0,6,6,1,0,7,0,20,3,1,2,1,32,30,11,3,8,6,1,4,2,0,5,2,2,0,0,15,8,0,0,4,1,0,2,6,2,0,0,7,7,20,4,20,16,2,18,0,0,1,0,5,9,0,4,9,99,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330887017499832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226821611507067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563820610174964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698707812819027,0.0,0.0,0.15263948881861347,0.15607780900335405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543402964130092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008011366502852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663807696982673,0.0,0.08264868071751573,0.0,0.16964291906497134,0.0,0.0,0.30756148969073865,0.0,0.14694283877755965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007687825149076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155457511033482,0.0,0.4555435491188691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698680168669364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216418414685705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19268333610024568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983885012332525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254844582778936,0.1157751456462559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009913399992185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449880694454794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.399641367504725,0.09636182219011184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870206149924355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683050461114932,0.0,0.0,0.09684420184374433
mentalhealth,Breadandbuttersworth,2019/02/23,"Do you have to make effort to concentrate? Like in every day life. I know that seems silly or strange to ask but it’s like I never used to (24f) put thought or effort into the things I wanted to do or the things that I’m currently doing and now it’s like I’m on auto pilot all the time. Is this a symptom of anxiety/depression or is that just a normal part of life? Because I gotta tell ya, making an effort to be present and alert is exhausting ",1.1508304093567254,2.9969063052631597,3.4319298245614043,89.2579532163743,80.6842105263158,6.3274853801169595,21.08187134502924,7.3871296695380915,0.6919941520467838,349,10,75,5,9,120,63,95,0.05,0.816,0.134,0.7789,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,3,2,5,0,0,6,0,8,4,0,3,2,19,19,7,0,2,6,0,0,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,6,4,11,16,2,10,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,5,9,51,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211261867379909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775600982613834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573914496283555,0.0,0.1946372309134796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039886296729144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419332856029296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192343345879042,0.3312089212577602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016883410002167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429059198381194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214135438738923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24471556066972336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22717346930511714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20572474911401603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348809385326745,0.0,0.0,0.1975174831380528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002636656139656,0.0,0.0,0.1794037885041,0.13177142419988142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517515470391944,0.0,0.0,0.1332895355632241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Temp0_Da_T0rped0,2019/02/23,"I get upset when family members argue. Even if it has nothing to do with me... I am a mid 20s male and my whole life i have had some i guess you can say traumatic experiences with family arguments. Just recently my brother and his fiance got into a really bad argument (their weird because they somehow get over it) they were screaming at eachother saying the marriage is f&$#% and bring me to tears. I don't know how i can learn that this is ""Normal family behavior"".... ",4.518904761904763,6.266678922222222,5.944285714285716,75.34500000000001,70.8888888888889,9.587301587301589,29.523809523809533,9.957137785484203,3.2247142857142865,373,15,65,10,7,126,70,90,0.251,0.7490000000000001,0.0,-0.9689,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,3,0,5,5,1,1,3,0,11,1,0,1,0,15,17,6,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,3,15,0,7,14,2,7,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,4,2,51,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22881726129735136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632942238075994,0.12873551681306994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948472665991346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065780105641255,0.5972550980523429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22066935125246745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16890275706593594,0.0,0.2326424620232273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606094251077148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14916516927108492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20691501616512734,0.20263628805816275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13528957389137658,0.0,0.20851825374162775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358832310130193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357788640612539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CepheidVox,2019/02/23,"jumping off the train I'm at the controls of a train going 1000 mph. I want the train to slow down, so I'm pulling levers and pressing buttons but nothing is working. Sometimes what I do makes the train go faster. Everyone thinks I should know how to control the train. They keep telling me how to slow it down, but their suggestions don't work and then they get mad at me. Some people give up and walk away because they think I ***WANT*** the train to be speeding out of control! I don't; I'm intensely uncomfortable with the unpredictable velocity and I'm constantly terrified that the train is going to derail *and* I'm angry at myself for being unable to control it. Sometimes I wonder if my only option is to jump off the train.

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. The symptoms I deal with include sudden, extreme mood swings, episodes of severe paranoia, intrusive and obsessive thoughts, deficits in my autobiographical memory that make it difficult to remember events that took place just a couple of days ago, unstable identity, interests, opinions, and beliefs, and extreme difficulty forming healthy and safe relationships. At times I've heard voices, suffered dissociative episodes with amnesia, and dealt with psychosis. All of these things make controlling my behaviour a constant struggle. Sometimes I scream at people or my pets (I know, its horrible, isn't it?), quit my job with no back-up plan, steal things I don't want or need, hurt myself purposefully, spend all my money impulsively, break things I care about, and I've done lots of worse things I can't even bring myself to type out. I regret all of these things and often I didn't even want to be doing them when I was doing them.

My life feels like the worst roller coaster in the universe. It's painful and terrifying and I'm sick of people in my life not believing me when I say I am trying so so so hard to be better. They don't know what its like to be like. They get to walk away when I'm too much to handle. I never get a break from my defective brain.",4.259090073529413,6.599479890624997,4.793872549019607,80.8089705882353,73.01041666666666,7.95514705882353,29.002450980392155,8.757208317658263,2.4609285539215686,1634,68,295,33,34,520,198,384,0.227,0.6940000000000001,0.079,-0.9971,1,0,0,0,0,2,53.0,0,0,8,10,15,20,1,2,16,0,23,7,1,10,4,67,58,29,0,8,7,0,3,3,0,1,6,4,1,1,19,22,0,7,10,1,2,10,10,12,0,0,7,7,42,7,48,45,8,46,1,3,0,0,16,18,0,9,19,193,61,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778020068481101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492390747621372,0.06748901623141078,0.0,0.05350322554133279,0.0,0.0,0.09888571409071163,0.0,0.07762463186284094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797933676920996,0.0,0.0,0.08948644164299725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18969442185389998,0.4922025148288174,0.0,0.09711483399142226,0.0,0.05660380518417176,0.09048608280154262,0.0,0.08908378368797425,0.0,0.0,0.10059098658830123,0.0,0.0,0.08981825675007281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594131867886877,0.0,0.0,0.08386713133476442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044378691492575895,0.06270225885581322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756718847756655,0.08419611333013935,0.1496435976279934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862386932563918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395863125740386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709728358661017,0.07801320419658407,0.0,0.0,0.14470679741108622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398781458283133,0.12863863898004016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461814573881052,0.0,0.0,0.17575965693362872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645203835128943,0.0650796716693941,0.06769293669591261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421681359757943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675235161547012,0.09339250503896156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18254411750535385,0.07663658815973218,0.09170002335706468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335323602169604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423116113879557,0.09942527483575866,0.0,0.0,0.06979750697134987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915409463429016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604176369948432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175531458915223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122569567407082,0.0,0.0,0.07671405742681768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915494330063537,0.11247778396275863,0.0,0.06967885736106112,0.05117886499301871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751469375665857,0.0595894540484222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20707394450635527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518183932196307,0.12779389266550167,0.0,0.08944420591561318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThePoolPlayer2016,2019/02/23,"Doctors office refusing to give me my medicine There is a shortage of my medication for 8 months. The medicine is Navane. I literally only have two weeks left. I asked my doctor to write me a prescription to a online pharmacy recommended by the FDA (there is no more at the hospital I am seen at). They are refusing to call me back.  


Last time I had a appointment with my doctor she said she would write me any prescription I needed (since there is a shortage). Now she is saying she won't. She is not doing anything including giving me a new medicine.  Doctors office not returning my messages.  


What can I do?  


Thank you!!!",2.2629297820823275,5.005512677966101,3.8971428571428617,82.13423728813561,83.23728813559322,7.439225181598062,26.225181598062953,8.418075326091056,2.343918159806296,488,21,89,12,14,162,73,118,0.092,0.85,0.059,-0.5826,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,9,0,15,5,0,0,0,9,22,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,3,23,1,10,17,1,11,0,0,1,0,18,3,0,0,8,68,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468480047682635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878097060569558,0.0,0.15766088340249804,0.0,0.0,0.12967806712649746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220602738224985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6904637273329498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235604797906168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374686840632208,0.0,0.0,0.18323395282543067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16989271346775806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461131994843292,0.0,0.0,0.12504858571914154,0.0,0.16287898468877526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826258874423582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042059816441712,0.13411376101938596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395053944568278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526622291842276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833861360885772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474225949969654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527733882996354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198010053522666,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liquidhorses,2019/02/23,"I’ve been wondering why I always felt like an intense “sadness” sort of pulsing through my veins and why lots of people don’t relate to that. Just now realized in the middle of a breakdown that it’s probably from my history of cutting, which makes a lot of sense now. I’ve been clean for several years but a random intrusive thought resurfaced it (the notion of cutting) while I was extremely upset and I guess I feel stupid for just now putting 2 and 2 together ",9.183333333333334,7.05692655555556,8.918333333333333,71.1975,61.22222222222222,12.555555555555555,42.5,11.20814326018867,4.730333333333334,370,18,68,8,4,120,63,90,0.135,0.81,0.055,-0.8355,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,3,1,6,0,4,1,1,1,0,17,10,5,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,5,2,6,1,12,5,2,8,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,6,6,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20758809721442992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614504087441153,0.0,0.2395407911946744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27483134193622955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188376768522245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241994852763831,0.0,0.0,0.16653044034037645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295864591492388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689826097751309,0.0,0.0,0.2507972151101787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28184240904444485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980599700954176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4502354222815968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705513977080488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606575223043306
mentalhealth,Nutbutter32,2019/02/23,"Daydreaming excessively I daydream to the point where it gets in the way of my responsibilities. Instead of getting work done, cleaning my room, and trying to fix or improve the negative aspects of my life I’d rather go into my own universe where my problems don’t exist.

And my daydreams are repetitive too. I mostly daydream about the same things over and over, maybe adding on a little bit from the previous time.

One could say I have “maladaptive daydreaming,” and I think it could be indicative of a mental problem, as mental illness runs in my family.

I know I should stop so I can actually improve myself but a strong part of me doesn’t want to because daydreams give me a taste of what could’ve been, or what I want in life, and they make me feel better when little else does, even though deep down I know they aren’t real, they’re never going to be real, and I’m only doing it to cope with my problems. I also largely don’t want to stop because for some of the negative aspects of my life I’m losing hope that they’re actually fixable, either because it’s out of my control or it’s just the way I am, and daydreaming might be the only place where those negative aspects are gone.

But I know I should. And that’s why I’m here. Hope my post wasn’t too long, any advice is greatly appreciated.",6.068300907911805,6.106109941634244,6.794723735408564,76.86412191958497,66.31517509727628,9.34360570687419,32.30843060959792,9.029198982220553,2.668720570687418,1033,39,196,16,15,342,137,257,0.117,0.773,0.11,-0.1804,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,5,15,9,0,0,12,0,22,5,0,2,1,47,42,18,0,13,8,0,1,0,0,3,4,1,2,0,11,11,1,3,5,0,0,4,9,4,0,1,4,3,30,5,29,30,7,32,0,1,0,0,4,18,0,8,7,142,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.21225794851016835,0.0,0.0,0.1062739093721394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697115584887997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395697769810085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19888770784210405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618476236453467,0.11873204920821215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197772997542305,0.2604955198553829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517203820975613,0.1112938956898048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085066104815692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183150449629483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025243247976612,0.0,0.054989682950184464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363976455525075,0.10432749190986623,0.1236156920108822,0.0,0.0,0.11990252554474368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160360651281866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793063437146044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23045014569898065,0.0,0.21800171485294775,0.0,0.09624455530297683,0.0,0.12166877703203277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259465812048023,0.0,0.10925879109939074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21919847157338748,0.11537163198760933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083878388516657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369505146891894,0.16542581712342758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777082538013918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362559465668486,0.0,0.10280841688474918,0.0,0.10415701373781894,0.0,0.0,0.31219090171330066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475734912794875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648616374166647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818477265227442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225184135051599,0.06968566975533907,0.10685101619239247,0.0,0.06341578503249018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383735470987238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924391555836006,0.17264895967720564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813427048969957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917477289547219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lusthammer,2019/02/23,"Talking, talking, talking...any ideas? My wife has been talking for about seven hours like its a run on sentence is she ok? She has been told by a therapist that she has ptsd, but we’ve been married for 10 years and I’ve never seen her going like this. She seems happy, but she just keeps talking to me and I have to interrupt her to just say “yeah”, “I know” and things like that. Anybody have a similar experiences or tips? ",0.46142857142857,2.9318599047619074,1.8900000000000008,93.98000000000002,92.8095238095238,4.704761904761905,21.285714285714285,6.42735559955562,0.4225428571428576,328,12,68,4,12,105,55,84,0.034,0.7509999999999999,0.214,0.9359,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,2,9,0,0,0,1,13,15,6,0,0,5,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,2,11,5,8,10,0,6,0,0,1,0,14,1,0,2,6,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353691384607396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947210521269694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113131649295148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190543900474654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19603619261752808,0.0,0.0,0.2247170209691384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17693565105603373,0.0,0.0,0.1093993923885226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29175524288864035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535290589526974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23269308733790306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583022703047056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18121877248364746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6399947012620784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311265847941892,0.13224809639662366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19021248566493545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818954575050745
mentalhealth,gaby_dude,2019/02/23,"Question Is it possible to wake up cured?
Or to take medicine and this all go away?
Is there a cure to the suffering? Or is there only that way out?",-0.23435483870967744,2.004160322580649,1.5163709677419348,97.99455645161294,90.93548387096772,5.680645161290323,20.65322580645161,7.1686216300943375,0.4946709677419352,114,4,27,2,4,37,25,31,0.123,0.877,0.0,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,0,1,6,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,3,0,20,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4004240776510423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422163468132117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241403776528607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4804706403427412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774357552957893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204454758725199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382936228713817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,donewithmisery,2019/02/23,"Worry that I'm a narcissist I'm 18 and I've been questioning if I'm a narcissist or not and it's making me incredibly worried.

The ""traits"" I have that worry me is that I do have a desire TO BE SOMETHING in my life. For example I've been working on music the past few years and would love to have it as a career. I would love to hear that many people like my music. Isn't that a sign of wanting admiration?

I've been in a depressed state with diagnosed health anxiety for awhile and recently wanted to better myself. But I'm afraid that the 'bettering' of myself will lead to narcissism as well. Like if I become overconfident in myself. I currently don't look at myself above average at all, but I'm afraid that it will change if I better myself.

I have never really cried after a movie but these Japanese commercials have pretty often got me to tears.

I also fear of rejection and only once asked a girl out because of it. I'm getting a bit better with it though after getting constructive criticism from my music.

I'm constantly questioning myself if I am narcissistic or not because of my will to be successful in the music business. How do I know if I'm going to far with my want for admiration, my want to better myself and etc?",3.8645378690629,5.4095017439024415,5.864351732991015,76.07878690629012,72.21138211382114,9.243988018827556,26.768506632434743,9.682069395223575,2.6561821138211386,983,34,180,25,19,342,118,246,0.104,0.71,0.18600000000000005,0.9693,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,8,5,18,0,3,13,0,21,5,0,3,2,39,44,21,0,12,12,0,0,2,0,5,3,1,0,1,13,10,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,5,1,0,4,2,26,13,33,33,4,20,0,2,1,2,7,9,0,10,10,133,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155626193836083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758324549867705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703111716240367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958202500418507,0.1264433459840749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5062780419308258,0.1249915847579875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111345374611975,0.0,0.0,0.12372119281813455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576003504349573,0.0,0.0,0.09860861557473667,0.11620322696802858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276847317710876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883118092041904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963083563374514,0.0,0.06506634623268504,0.0,0.09156676200821266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169572220095888,0.12903664865652772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291978228149342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808664807598622,0.11186641266917667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961413476670473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666034344543732,0.0,0.07642183743945304,0.11607317896466247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830044438345296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192631604598946,0.0,0.08707352050280334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929204865983916,0.07937178028738738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647577284377646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25650622318976257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334414446454632,0.0,0.11304339636844475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813869615860423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248418549121428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701126914065423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293874220127368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334885486314295,0.34880531543735155,0.0,0.16265842437654424,0.0,0.0,0.07372671943863246
mentalhealth,urlocaldepressedgirl,2019/02/23,"Letting it all out I started this reddit page to let my feeling out anonymously without getting judged. I find it very hard to express my feeling to people and would like if someone would take time to read this and maybe give me some advice. For the past few weeks I’ve felt really down my confidence levels have really came down, I’ve been going to the gym 5 days a week every week and still feel so fat, I feel like everyone’s looking at me thinking I’m some ugly weirdo, I feel like I’m trying my hardest to make everyone happy and everything I do isn’t good enough, I’ve got 4 really close friends and an amazing supporting family yet I feel so lonely in down like I have to one to talk to, I used to always love going out and I used to be so confident and now I hate going out and I’m so insecure about what I look like and what people are saying about me , I’m just broken ",3.0191569086651038,4.298400240437162,4.660862607338019,84.92815573770491,73.91803278688525,7.851522248243562,24.546838407494146,8.418075326091056,1.5125100702576115,696,21,143,12,14,235,106,183,0.105,0.6779999999999999,0.21600000000000005,0.9666,0,2,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,10,14,1,1,4,0,11,2,1,3,1,35,40,14,0,3,3,0,8,5,1,2,1,1,0,0,6,15,1,0,9,2,0,4,2,3,0,1,4,11,18,11,24,31,6,25,0,1,2,1,6,11,0,3,15,87,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338124515459985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965446132993939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270515270183048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482847867437706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988796816740055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775861701951627,0.22173950419571695,0.10427850916309284,0.0,0.10938089765276728,0.0,0.3520035403073121,0.16578089138570845,0.11140510157204302,0.0,0.10604751467935987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964296586246756,0.0,0.06061985524232396,0.11130465611438298,0.19782420488215824,0.09731880415928174,0.09279821257689913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351399230452875,0.10393832199068764,0.11455365533428635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372930375525327,0.0,0.28342716602117873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948686405976882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047198244300952,0.0,0.07744960901410411,0.0,0.11656574837721012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862359394364064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076188064388376,0.16087844930140235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116059425860712,0.0,0.2229915755462005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227014411728654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983101707763034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212523472394599,0.0,0.0926601322646938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166723007792824,0.0,0.0,0.0872386364595113,0.09325893306218168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434607471364849,0.0,0.0,0.06765687563315642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877541407281588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004219237769614,0.0,0.09573527373674433,0.0,0.0,0.2792120537393506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184687758594083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16484596278903266,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sanguinesecretary,2019/02/23,"Finally let myself feel all of the emotions I was holding after being raped. TW: rape

It was an extremely traumatic experience, physically and mentally. It started out consensual, but quickly turned into something else. I backed out and told him to stop because of the pain and he refused and just said ""it'll be better if I just go faster,"" I ended up with a vaginal tear which was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt.
 
I went through the whole process of ""I don't want to talk about it. It makes me sick to even think about."" For a good while but I finally decided to go to therapy and I'm soon going to be starting EMDR therapy with my therapist which I'm very hopeful about.

Ive never really let myself feel anything before. I've been in a state of denial for so long and have let myself be consumed with anger but last week everything came out like a flood. The trigger of all this seeing him on social media. His profile popped up on tinder and he liked my Instagram photo. Couple this with the fact that on the same day this other guy who I've had to block 5 times somehow was able to text me from a different number, I was just DONE with men. I was so angry and upset I just wanted EVERYONE to leave me alone and it didn't help that I had been with people every day/night so I hadn't had time to let it get to me. 


I was at work  (I work donations at a thrift store). I was visibly upset and didn't want to talk to anyone which is pretty unusual for me when I'm working. My friend kept asking me if I was okay which made me more angry because at the time, I just wanted her to shut up and leave me alone. I appreciated the concern but I've never felt that much anger in my entire life. 

Finally the last time she asked me if I was okay I started crying profusely and shaking. I don't know what came over me but it was a wave of emotion.  She pulled me aside and talked to me and calmed me down a bit but I was still shaking so my boss told me to go sit down for a while and offered to let me leave. 

I went home, drank wine and watched SpongeBob, and went to therapy the next morning. I felt very weird the next day, like I was still kinda shaken up but weirdly calm at the same time. Obviously it's only been a few days since then, but I'm so relieved to have finally let it out. I was even able to talk to my boss (a man) about my therapy and I wasn't super uncomfortable like I usually would be. 

",2.941185795814839,4.185787654618476,4.543542591418304,85.82954343690555,74.06024096385542,7.651743817374762,24.952652716127663,8.20500826718156,1.3853967871485948,1884,59,401,30,38,634,226,498,0.18,0.711,0.108,-0.9898,1,2,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,5,24,26,4,4,25,2,44,8,0,5,7,83,84,38,0,9,16,0,5,4,1,2,4,1,1,3,23,31,2,5,8,1,3,12,8,12,0,0,39,8,60,14,65,32,10,74,0,0,2,2,26,22,0,7,42,278,83,5,0.12876612263826706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336286922252022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501813345507688,0.0,0.0529817736732982,0.0,0.12037894251793906,0.0,0.0,0.049506600025211886,0.0,0.07849463319634742,0.0,0.05478524314604896,0.0,0.0,0.056941585702791814,0.07028962789380819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727414061169689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123863276422354,0.0707217696634149,0.16608699309228195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726659584241937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588622505091585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378378627815145,0.14484455652176653,0.05702428242371695,0.0,0.0,0.08504880958034969,0.058238164962979524,0.054245505980035226,0.0615207741659106,0.05786334406987809,0.06297898811097931,0.0,0.0,0.06510802059499222,0.0,0.1854535064359463,0.282113986623743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049742193466073635,0.0,0.03363749222638733,0.0,0.14636150982357568,0.05400145720083465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637493529964233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04315460886552867,0.0,0.06458145997704058,0.06394690705149753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03538324673848072,0.10496157613563756,0.0,0.20451709727035028,0.0,0.3950162537080558,0.045475660243033095,0.12581724658594082,0.0,0.0,0.05697698325064687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06092080933746113,0.04297619337318611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488298275205392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732895807954442,0.0,0.09931237195829193,0.0,0.13694423224560845,0.06041914161982213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896621934505721,0.1370162331737935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04463510813525417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655007194899142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04124543770354288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061243034887186826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513049641683002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05325833363938515,0.0,0.0,0.06563042306475927,0.0,0.04956522607525232,0.0,0.0,0.13671198653844213,0.0,0.10283279187290154,0.05382712214544432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20699466360520788,0.0,0.0,0.2945105666314439,0.07475369651553168,0.0,0.0412540660192261,0.0,0.0,0.1877114040502537,0.0,0.0,0.1230415483318212,0.0,0.0,0.07003028265375168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090884607263558,0.10624553665586564,0.15189919069449678,0.0,0.051644208263816965,0.0,0.0,0.17905122860737913,0.0,0.07188138871114011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061490631666598,0.0,0.0,0.045735879520840315,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coffeefueled-student,2019/02/23,"Can anxiety attacks cause dizziness? I was taking a bath and all was fine, in fact I actually felt un-anxious for the first time in days. But then when I got out (and began thinking again basically) I was standing and taking my hair out of a ponytail and I got really dizzy. Like this was to the point where my vision was going in and out of clarity. I just took a couple sips of water and slowly laid down on the floor since I knew that I could potentially faint and obviously if I’m already lying down I cant fall and hit my head. Anyways after about 10 minutes I got up and high-key struggled down the stairs and basically fell onto the couch, I was that dizzy. But now I’ve been sitting here for probably about 20 minutes and I’m feeling ok. 

I rambled a bit but the main questions is: was that an anxiety attack or is something else up. I’m definitely worried about it. ",3.2942938311688286,4.863942698863639,4.934448051948053,82.07613636363638,73.7159090909091,7.5285714285714285,27.912337662337666,8.192908349453996,1.8992155844155847,689,27,136,11,14,233,109,176,0.114,0.809,0.077,-0.7472,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,10,6,2,1,11,1,13,4,2,1,3,30,29,18,0,2,6,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,5,14,1,0,5,1,0,4,1,3,0,1,15,3,15,3,23,12,3,32,0,0,0,0,1,17,0,3,10,94,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.16115263684543782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18223589130785955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526630115397331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3757407577657216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180289906147369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964407892387806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185070400039536,0.1827240632790452,0.0,0.10650151841088344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795312439251448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349965189918257,0.0,0.1585601189056922,0.0,0.0,0.140467841501645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385276199478984,0.0,0.3962321854061659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694810920919329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17447928038905092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067897162924749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561105022183767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804865040646306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18499438580061325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579279355146436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366053607214479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713269688638584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17263998938264993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24832917658165546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581492481423173,0.0,0.0,0.09629435361399112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18347640973367885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677074972838251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MorganJb,2019/02/23,"School-aged mental health ​

If anyone is willing to help my team and I out, we're working on a project for our entrepreneurial class attempting to develop a service aimed at helping those with mental health issues.  My research is directed specifically towards **school-aged children.**  Others on the team are researching technology in society, elderly, and cultural differences.  If you're willing,  could you answer these questions

(Mental Health conditions include:  (depression, anxiety, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociative Disorders, Psychosis, Eating Disorders, OCD, PTSD, Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia.)

1.  In your own words, how would you describe the state of overall mental health among today’s school age kids?

2.  What are the most common types of mental health problems you experience among your students?

3.  Do you have any preferred coping tactics to help keep the students from becoming a distraction to themselves or others?  If so, what are the best coping strategies?

4.  What are some of the products or services that are available to students to help with mental health problems?

5.  What are your thoughts on the effects of technology in relation to childhood mental health?  Do you think technology is good for students, or bad for students?

6.  How impactful do you think the rising obesity rates among today’s youth are in relation to mental health?  

7.  If you could do one thing to have a meaningful impact on mental health in children, what would you do, and why?

Thanks in advance!  

Team Giraffe..

​

(Mods, I'm not sure what the appropriate method of getting approval for this is.  If I'm supposed to message this content to you first, I'd be happy to follow appropriate demands)",6.856977261492831,10.20288018339101,6.3190941670786,68.14144896193775,68.96539792387543,8.972862086010878,37.657068709836885,9.516144504307137,4.6237186356895705,1419,79,187,35,28,438,158,289,0.075,0.826,0.099,0.8552,0,0,1,0,0,0,66.0,1,12,0,10,3,10,0,1,13,0,25,12,0,3,1,36,34,14,0,12,9,0,0,0,0,4,11,0,0,4,14,6,2,1,8,3,0,3,1,5,0,2,1,0,16,5,40,26,4,27,0,1,0,0,27,16,0,11,7,129,30,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723998618297607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054559812218586,0.14640263203746715,0.04096701317677366,0.0,0.04608540090125116,0.0,0.0,0.0421230054180836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030002933502968,0.0,0.06653318517477999,0.0,0.0,0.06322086019043001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619757978725532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05188683697668799,0.0,0.0,0.06294066332078742,0.3452160200280007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164318833954763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589287927735047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512422989806619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03147425622869905,0.0,0.0,0.05052860924420758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412933561260127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5763153103426473,0.0,0.0,0.1615172983457351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628775912175066,0.0,0.05354636389560692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5463930691529318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04082192429380119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052601488165749034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152880064620422,0.07042034014186145,0.0,0.06748546518263346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829060900896351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056777908966121886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055463264301464144,0.0,0.0,0.040022486434417366,0.07720201230377165,0.0,0.047825871152320114,0.0,0.0,0.11420582412403095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05435954898881475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043857308200415585,0.0,0.0,0.0855891860900738,0.0,0.14640263203746715,0.0
mentalhealth,LithopsEffectTex,2019/02/23,"How do I open up to my friends about my depression? To keep things brief, I've been dealing with depression for a long time, but haven't really been open about it. I think about suicide nearly every day and want nothing more than to speak to someone about it, but I worry about how this will affect my friend's opinions of me. How can I approach this, or should I even make the effort?


One more thing. I'm between therapists right now. I'm seeking out a new one currently, which I imagine will help somewhat.",4.647057142857143,5.765087420000004,4.7314285714285695,86.58500000000002,69.8,7.7142857142857135,29.285714285714285,7.957251820313856,1.8105714285714285,402,15,80,5,7,125,70,100,0.14800000000000002,0.7829999999999999,0.069,-0.8782,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,1,10,4,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,5,0,20,14,7,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,2,2,1,10,2,17,9,3,14,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,3,6,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615544105191274,0.2176562595538904,0.3636760463622277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944328768621406,0.0,0.17787836733710094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32622279031807244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415098122763687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876538545544473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683525157178066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092476369193446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20390177019964334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20257608763326695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861218161889086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524938123925945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18029599726100676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888195642977756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309318730320461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451275040828233,0.2805185376513555,0.13527767465599272,0.0,0.0,0.12310622780549947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452450923081285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21440340570823468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Liamwildman123,2019/02/23,Need advice please Reddit 😝 Hey all hope you are all ok. 27 m uk here 😏 I am wondering if you could all help me a little. I have been off work with mental health issues for over a year now and very slowly getting myself back ish. I wanna start to look at work maybe but I really don't wanna go back to the same industry. I was thinking of 're training to be a vetinary Nurse but how hard would it be to get into college at 27 and how expensive would it be because I have no savings left. ,0.11294871794871494,2.2693500384615426,2.426538461538464,93.10179487179492,87.07692307692307,5.005128205128205,18.28205128205128,6.42735559955562,-0.044298717948717765,380,10,83,4,12,129,78,104,0.046,0.8809999999999999,0.073,0.1655,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,2,6,3,0,0,4,1,13,1,0,2,3,23,22,7,0,8,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,10,3,14,14,4,13,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,3,5,59,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19700732030489976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31004556476581635,0.0,0.12289731504513154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096620710681744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21066191718528104,0.0,0.11457749307697958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18059962443041208,0.0,0.0,0.21429804461609764,0.0,0.0,0.1351324376057622,0.0,0.0,0.20024052249308005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104245739378959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21904580954548053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20206245314012736,0.0,0.0,0.16929849660436394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20254060268800755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20317170862881515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494884996421099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213031506070756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291541432889333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142697960322401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12918116161585955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166346292209218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21863340715205404,0.2935435411388967,0.0,0.0,0.28643062922678625,0.0,0.0,0.12982783228459352
mentalhealth,throwaway210593,2019/02/23,"I want to know what emotions feel like I want to know what happiness and love is. I even want to know what sadness feels like. My entire life consists of just staring into the nothingness that is my life. Though I doubt anyone can give me what's taken millions of lifetimes to develop. I just don't want to be emotionless anymore, I'm really tired.",4.625588235294117,6.061875088235299,5.158117647058828,82.30452941176472,70.17647058823529,8.381176470588235,29.776470588235288,8.841846274778883,2.419214117647059,278,11,52,5,5,89,45,68,0.114,0.648,0.238,0.7512,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,0,0,14,18,2,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,3,8,4,8,16,0,1,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,1,2,34,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20662063228675048,0.14567852343836554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343582408101397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376088261435772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068932841780266,0.2976810799124288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986193797403706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217853837446382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34350019050396224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943181570688927,0.2035720863905962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803801912286036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334700930951993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046962960554714,0.0,0.0,0.2394600468999853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.491545253290849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CTRAP,2019/02/23,"Does anyone else experience this? I have really bad ADD and also depression with anxiety. What I've noticed lately is when my depression isn't that bad I start to exhibit almost OCD like tendencies. This has lead me to 4 possible conclusions. 

1.) Maybe I'm not that used to the energy I have when my depression isn't bad and  my ADD and anxiety combined causes this

2.) Maybe I'm bipolar and now experience manic episodes

3.) Maybe I have some form of OCD and it only really shows when I'm not too depressed to act on it

4.) Maybe I'm just looney 
",2.191701417848208,4.516953357798169,4.513077564637197,80.35525437864887,79.64220183486239,9.101251042535447,24.587989991659718,9.573946990214177,2.6509743119266056,432,16,84,14,11,150,64,109,0.218,0.723,0.059,-0.9631,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,7,8,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,3,0,17,13,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,1,1,0,2,4,7,0,0,0,0,8,1,7,13,2,9,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,7,47,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663982090838772,0.0,0.0,0.1091228938424238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20877517274266705,0.0,0.0,0.09541240350110472,0.13981411879704342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418022988196553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401767186509357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4701134476877057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941255834722893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139905172503204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669580528802835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392701378673174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666494686321774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5483489483896018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553547505682075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378006193296138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383234008920835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483294142690892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658344480274768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785317799967535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emmyppe,2019/02/23,"how can i be there for my depressed best friend without overstepping boundaries? my best friend of six years has been battling depression these past couple months but has seemed to have gotten worse recently. she called me and told me she planned on killing her self but decided against it. i was happy she called me and felt relieved when she said she didn’t want to die. i’m still nervous about her because i couldn’t imagine life without her, considering she’s my best friend in the world.

i struggle with anxiety so we can always relate about medications and therapists 

i’m nervous it’s gonna get worse and i want to be there for her as a friend. i don’t want to overstep my boundaries or seem annoying, but i want to encourage her to get better and help her. i know i can’t help her fully, since it’s her own battle she’s fighting, but i want to make sure she’s alright 

how can i help? what are some things that you would like to hear if you had depression? how can i check in on her without her getting annoyed?

i’m just always nervous that i’ll say the wrong thing ",3.0021738066095485,5.0218657069767465,3.4771113831089373,90.2880783353733,75.65116279069767,6.572827417380662,26.664626682986537,7.475848149327749,1.3209069767441868,857,33,176,11,19,267,118,215,0.21,0.534,0.256,0.8669,0,0,0,0,2,1,14.0,1,2,0,5,11,28,6,4,3,1,18,2,0,4,1,36,39,17,2,8,10,0,1,1,4,2,2,3,0,1,9,7,0,0,6,0,1,0,7,14,0,1,8,4,40,14,23,26,5,11,0,3,0,0,37,5,0,5,7,119,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562090046605555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073111399734624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433086778431561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322455943464732,0.09333381078710566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21551840162314706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676831596950328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726817214785038,0.0,0.10952477165045434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132654524142884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32613271413482925,0.0,0.16540716048182216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233997323812872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894138351704504,0.0,0.2122061081756628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675468745103895,0.0,0.05799721267616394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745398396647365,0.05155723598873654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044292587107129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631162744587136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423403337466065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074151499094956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419937360058164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038438093424136,0.08392268217885293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921433649525483,0.11009210462262757,0.0,0.0,0.08729653685234835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427738901996046,0.0,0.0,0.11032417114334593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946195002397147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252990990862538,0.14022054063140293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083962756934307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112253142411947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30518506446930266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150907100128108,0.07496636900244734,0.11538185044119888,0.0,0.06795866215919695
mentalhealth,SkySnatch,2019/02/23,"I’m starting therapy next week and my anxiety is at an all time high. After battling anxiety and constant worrying I decided to reach out and see a counselor before it becomes a bigger issue than it already is. I’ve signed my HIPAA paperwork 2 days ago and I’m waiting on my therapist to get back to me to schedule our first session, probably some time this next week. We’ll be doing teleconference sessions. 

I am dealing with a messy roommate that may or may not be moving out in several months. The not knowing whether or not I’ll have to find another person to sign a lease with me is killing me inside, despite trying to suppress the anxiety. On top of it all, I walked into an extremely messy house today and I got into a text confrontation with my roommate over it.

I can’t wait to start therapy so I can put my mind at ease and stop ruminating over everything negative. ",6.428245614035088,6.572896298245619,7.433385964912282,72.22586842105265,65.54970760233918,11.050526315789476,38.15263157894736,10.793553405168565,4.36113754385965,701,36,125,18,10,237,110,171,0.159,0.81,0.031,-0.9628,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,0,0,2,2,3,3,0,9,0,13,0,0,0,2,34,23,10,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,6,13,0,4,3,0,0,3,5,3,0,1,1,1,16,0,25,17,3,35,0,0,1,0,4,14,0,5,18,87,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257923837653175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659838930281098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488023244629741,0.32567641060902225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911806229239428,0.0,0.0,0.15672561888986047,0.12075277985703185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335152959852896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151855938890298,0.14630033998240544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753725724343312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970082971300434,0.12070639636425698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414078062823204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349634362954245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14993300210813354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163742133436471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481144991327249,0.0,0.0,0.15699955753565906,0.0,0.07798861807820484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432860616035304,0.0,0.11326916510149908,0.15082515131029606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018403456741212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390810338702453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530002222454018,0.0,0.0,0.14265617276322864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130818572306446,0.0,0.0,0.16031501537601034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008856335063963,0.0,0.0,0.11864097442150635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245670510506917,0.16476547589239562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549473944659734,0.0,0.13451166075730034,0.0,0.0,0.09634583702524327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276591780288973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441138941411147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,csr57,2019/02/23,"My Gf has body image issues.    My girlfriend is beautiful. I’m not just saying that. She’s actually unbiasedly an attractive human being. She’s also borderline underweight but has a good figure. I’ve always been very supportive towards her body image. Genuinely i think she’s amazing looking and i show and tell her that a lot. But even she told me that there is nothing i can do to make her feel likes she skinny and pretty. From reading online, it really seems like she needs to see a therapist but she refuses. I’ve hinted at it very supportively but she will not. The issue has started to get in the way of our relationship at some points. She won’t wear certain clothes some times, she won’t let me touch her stomach a lot too. She alternates from feeling good to bad about her self and I can’t do much to change this. I’m not sure what to do at this point, i feel so powerless and frustrated. I want to help her but I don’t even know what to do anymore. She is so clearly not fat or ugly at all and it’s so sad to see her like this. ",0.9834905660377372,3.3974795754717038,3.079464150943398,88.08817735849057,85.79245283018868,6.410867924528303,21.68754716981132,7.699297019823105,1.1095069433962266,818,28,169,16,25,276,119,212,0.095,0.6859999999999999,0.219,0.9803,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,0,10,14,1,0,7,0,19,6,6,1,4,36,38,16,0,2,11,0,4,3,2,3,1,1,0,2,11,6,2,1,7,2,0,0,8,3,0,0,2,8,31,11,19,31,6,11,0,1,3,0,30,8,0,6,5,118,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.1278085904074645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473728699606988,0.10897818242164392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298878227819367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935513226364753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29095802696403433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385497211827266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300993250821106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19866828773612985,0.09356555278453788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842682794207333,0.0,0.0,0.2197041560431218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778695438634808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27339893812831073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197811657037373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13392649807189325,0.0,0.1919571253931336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998247099222652,0.0,0.0,0.22269335048562552,0.0,0.0,0.0874240139473118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627859441453997,0.09711317528106164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566999756946326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476194448554805,0.0,0.0,0.13324437007531748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100622448999272,0.0,0.08390323660697423,0.0,0.0,0.14061360535279746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415322257806542,0.0,0.0,0.2087335127179638,0.11923088095630476,0.1366310892258106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927017935574734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972481825348014,0.12343841199948545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447423618327132,0.0,0.0,0.15206717240025416,0.0,0.08392078869643177,0.0,0.0,0.07637011618622211,0.0,0.0,0.12514819476975125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612922293479087,0.07724996052201863,0.10395851051298437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theyhird,2019/02/23,"Drug prevention programs in europe? Hi, 
A close family member is in the early stages of addiction. Could one of you refer me to some kind of early drug prevention program, something aimed for young people, maybe something outdoorsy.  Anywhere in Europe.

Thanks for the help. 
",5.6960869565217385,9.10421382608696,5.184956521739132,74.27526086956524,73.78260869565217,7.1582608695652175,28.76521739130435,8.238735603445708,2.8219356521739134,220,9,29,4,5,67,35,46,0.0,0.885,0.115,0.6808,0,0,4,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,9,2,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,18,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834171226530391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757327670724293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6029896898820181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24508648040007835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425945089611988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27072968682441084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611853588518141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616951706890924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802377460672888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002913851602442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393551175278116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FabledDead,2019/02/23,"How to be a better me? I'm 24yo and I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was in elementary school. I would literally cry and tell my mom I wanted to die because I was scared to see my family die first or I'd talk about how i was gonna grow up to be homeless cause I'd never be able to overcome my anxiety and get a job and a life and I wasn't even 10 yet (sorry Mom). Anyway, my life is a cycle of shit. I'm either depressed at work because I hate my job, or I'm depressed at home because I'm not motivated to do anything to better my life. So I lie there playing video games, reading stuff on my phone, or watching anime. I want to study programming on my computer, write stories, practice drawing, work out, all of these things to better myself and hopefully make a better life that I'll be happy with. But that motivation doesn't exist when the moment arrives. Every once in a while, I get motivated and try, but it quickly subsides and I'm back to lazing around, distracting my mind with the small things that make me happy. Studying doesn't make me happy when it's something difficult so I play games because it's harder to be a failure at a game. 

My question is, what can i do to help myself feel motivated? I'm also in a very bad financial situation atm so I can't see a medical professional to get counseling or drugs. I'm also a hard headed type where ""Going out for a walk in the sun will help you feel better"" or ""think positively"" doesn't do much for me. I've gone 18ish years with these thoughts and trying to fix myself. My brain doesn't care about simply thinking positively. I've also been feeling more suicidal lately due to my financial, relationship, and work woes. I don't want to be in this mindset. I want to do better. I want to make something of myself, but my brain gives up before it really even tries. ",3.7744315360937364,4.8990553538874035,5.488930592791182,80.3153758315957,71.86863270777481,8.314129679277134,27.487737066825535,8.735056554316923,2.0409496375732306,1449,51,287,26,27,496,181,373,0.153,0.695,0.152,-0.1217,2,0,3,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,0,14,21,23,2,2,15,0,26,10,4,11,2,57,60,30,3,7,10,2,4,0,0,3,6,0,1,0,14,18,0,0,11,7,1,4,9,10,0,1,7,7,38,13,44,44,4,33,0,4,3,0,15,17,1,7,12,182,52,15,0.07750279009950461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593685972476107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857884458331185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377819258620418,0.06899391473425316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959486162478993,0.0647115924393812,0.188979925959072,0.0,0.06594916602446048,0.0,0.0,0.4112695178734772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303749092529044,0.0,0.0,0.07901925979663643,0.07961671455827721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513317567364975,0.0,0.0,0.2002591186402576,0.0,0.16087132002153298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987863100805928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237972382900183,0.0,0.06529944332676031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306273293413239,0.0,0.11756321811778248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592383366631996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214760270518852,0.0743477383941991,0.044046621666047205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24750948365834585,0.06942727682977051,0.07651795977106671,0.07954022219757677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389697302999576,0.0,0.07774161766105185,0.076977758018659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538191205941251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742652301616291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189700507083384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693485684178964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807590731819533,0.0,0.0,0.07825572443856264,0.18154066212544304,0.0,0.0,0.05697346830845835,0.0,0.059774929620192034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253794203853483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682086225821183,0.0,0.07752376345519423,0.0,0.04965027191010399,0.0,0.0,0.08320899195736305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759381336065323,0.07843696125718654,0.12351937877848923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955550029212104,0.06411110886204446,0.0871163833114546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933086852467402,0.0,0.08675802826951302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872215228385863,0.08477547315700741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229380692847077,0.06774085462071966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297881988514156,0.09932131694051656,0.0,0.06152855819334426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785792118242578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394791858088986,0.2285657681436933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926886273864336,0.0,0.0,0.0550557584230079,0.0,0.0,0.04990925579529416
mentalhealth,feralpulse,2019/02/23,"How do you rebuild your life & relationships after mental & physical illness? I feel like I've just woken up in the aftermath of a massive hurricane. Long story short, I recently discovered I've been sick for a long time (several years according to a House-worthy team of doctors) with an autoimmune disease (Hashimoto's) that they've determined has been the cause of a great deal of suffering in my life, mostly stemming from toxic relationships that I made more toxic by way of depression, severe anxiety affecting everything I did and the way I completed work, and been frustratedly unable to unlock my potential. 

​

The harm's done. But right now I need to figure out how to rebuild. How do I pick up the pieces? How do I start to form meaningful relationships again? I haven't been able to do this since I was a kid, really, and now that I'm undergoing treatment, my whole internal world has changed. The anxiety, the depression, the brain fog -- all subsided dramatically. I can remember things now -- I didn't even realize I couldn't form memories, connections, bonds before, I was just moving through a haze that superficially resembled a life. 

​

Has anyone else experienced this? Where on earth do I begin? ",6.682818181818181,8.560176509090908,7.31159090909091,67.13238636363637,65.72727272727272,11.863636363636365,35.11363636363636,11.578365685549247,4.924818181818179,992,47,158,35,16,327,136,220,0.11,0.8370000000000001,0.053,-0.9034,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,0,2,12,7,1,0,16,0,20,7,1,8,1,25,27,8,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,5,0,0,11,2,20,2,23,15,7,26,0,3,0,0,8,10,0,1,14,109,27,3,0.10673731049774438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.462599325319715,0.2593950304711692,0.0,0.0,0.16330750075581646,0.0,0.0,0.07463320926610613,0.10936498823672484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082558965919248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915413866346344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964862002653808,0.1129139216443101,0.0,0.11191203929457096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100414803035983,0.1838653782559881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925016014154776,0.0,0.10922932704186168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891653266883308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049898692020982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095928612213861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05396959128499816,0.07625315594671166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767826163957107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22617515700552954,0.05214645839939213,0.0,0.0,0.1889183219264456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099742399316508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756610409837183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134448690904969,0.0,0.07914436327052701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683786542698942,0.0,0.10539021723143784,0.3437877784537002,0.1209125655987891,0.09115307996231743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24116555858984198,0.0,0.08829420623666645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554921774422563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709115262731806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223938410994816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944621772051266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916839536162145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770603327759049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593950304711692,0.06873532844035908
mentalhealth,LordOvWolves,2019/02/23,"I’m having a rough day before I go into work, someone help me try to relax? I have chronic anxiety/depression and recently discovered and was diagnosed Bi-Polar and I’m starting to come to terms with it. I’m extremely stressed out and I got a lot of pressure on my shoulders about work stuff, and I’m having a small argument over nothing with my girlfriend I’m supposed to be heading to work here in about 10 minutes and I’m panicking. I can’t be stressed because it’s triple point weekend and it’s a concert night. (I sell food)",1.692258566978193,4.180592859813089,3.5473130841121514,85.51168613707166,83.01869158878505,6.557320872274143,30.41199376947041,7.793537801064563,2.405679750778817,424,23,80,8,12,142,68,107,0.13,0.813,0.056,-0.7496,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,3,4,0,7,5,2,0,0,13,17,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,4,12,1,0,0,3,1,2,1,3,0,0,2,2,8,1,15,13,3,15,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,6,48,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106238372915842,0.0,0.16899071588376696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17107301809215306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807810210326295,0.0,0.171050592758658,0.2015709351307688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401432806402936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286678173983247,0.0,0.15883550161623455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20381696844713595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331148285027843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883936437835032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18636905504275,0.0,0.1905583841168764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18773757539661215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960897619703352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682698928741976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056739338507684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4549824902626325,0.0,0.2273451043131749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348337652399683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4337411375365218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Marmiteeeee,2019/02/23,"Is the lack of pleasure from the activities you used to enjoy a symptom of depression? I've been having this symptom in particular for a really long time now and I can't tell whether it's depression or just growing up. I would remember about something that I used to enjoy before becoming depressed (usually media - music, movies, tv shows - but not exclusively) and not remember what it felt like to enjoy it. For instance I was bored a few days ago and I tried to rewatch a movie that I really used to love growing up, and it didn't make me feel anything at all, not even nostalgia. Before becoming depressed, I would at least feel nostalgia when experiencing something that I have grown out of, but i knew that I genuinely didn't enjoy that thing anymore and I must leave it in the past. However, nowadays I feel like the memory of the times when I used to enjoy certain things has been erased off my mind. There's this band that I was literally obsessed with before depression hit me, and not only their music doesn't make me feel anything anymore, I actively try to remember the memories of when I used to listen to this band and it's like I can't visualize anything. Again, I'm aware of the fact that growing up can do that to you but when you grow up you don't magically lose the memories that are associated with something. Yeah, you can definitely move on from something but it should at least make you nostalgic right? If this detail helps, I'd like to add that I currently don't really enjoy anything and no activity makes me truly feel good. It's like I'm numb to everything.",7.087254901960782,6.920330993464058,7.780326797385622,71.34147058823531,64.22875816993465,11.51372549019608,35.3202614379085,11.088447113337141,3.977900653594772,1268,53,233,33,17,424,145,306,0.087,0.685,0.228,0.9939,2,0,4,0,1,0,27.0,0,6,1,1,10,24,0,1,12,1,23,4,0,9,4,52,44,19,0,6,12,0,6,5,0,4,3,1,0,0,25,12,0,0,10,4,0,6,12,9,0,0,8,8,30,15,37,31,5,33,0,6,0,1,13,13,0,2,19,161,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651170912004708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119959601537618,0.0,0.0,0.2841146215883353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19065295696330573,0.22033929140960293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055665066401103545,0.0,0.3717084516204837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05700925213324218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757300749132158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821349295251208,0.061662381024589374,0.08287449492879972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239566795385619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05785411905623657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139353289304658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108420790579016,0.0,0.0,0.07638473060246423,0.0,0.09656272738823343,0.0,0.0,0.07790130286865254,0.0,0.2304597236178144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715202890835999,0.0,0.0,0.09173758982554672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656453055234528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239600149540557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588391317805026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933291061090061,0.07371125664791148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26579339410465536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942554888885856,0.0,0.0,0.07544180266092759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468570704529915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066019091473156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720240028451248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37273575157895417,0.09506212501217984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262926665309135,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,makeitugly,2019/02/23,"I have no support in my life I’ve suspected that I have moderate to severe depression for over a year now. I’m 18, and I feel that there is no one in my life I can talk to. I have had severe anxiety for as long as I can remember, but there is no possible way for me to seek professional help in my life as I’m registered under my mothers details in my local clinic, therefore I’d have to go through her to book a mental health evaluation, which I don’t feel comfortable doing.

I feel that every day is becoming more and more of a struggle to deal with. I’ve harmed myself in the past but haven’t as of the last five years, and I fear that I’m slumping back to that part of my life. I don’t know what to do and I feel stuck. ",5.3325,3.8515372420382166,6.794960191082804,81.30033837579619,68.29936305732485,10.652547770700638,31.08996815286624,9.827888789773867,2.5205675159235663,565,18,131,11,8,196,82,157,0.184,0.754,0.062,-0.9351,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,5,0,15,6,0,1,0,15,26,10,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,1,0,1,6,4,0,2,2,4,20,2,27,24,3,18,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,8,92,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273196842960375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336424260503685,0.0,0.0,0.17718732229082965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346699277946253,0.1654009451379969,0.1381820167167512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517300231779353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053343809590025,0.3244820546805457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117863475132572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053439216763808,0.0,0.0,0.10753587672959504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817061629311783,0.1307755464524896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45327858346069105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14197950134035364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168026123964355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871458261582494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373495058786814,0.1531529025825917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086581521407388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817410359613802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624906827447366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677209940424262,0.0,0.0,0.18205919170223253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289511897703359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273454541128848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066291412481894
mentalhealth,Youreapizzapie,2019/02/23,"I don't know what to do with myself I'm in a big slump right now. And I know there's ""light at the end of the tunnel"" and it will get better, but it also could get way worse. I'm fking scared for the future. I just spent the last 4 years of high school without knowing who my friends actually are/really having any, and I don't want to have to suffer through 4 more years of college going through the same thing to end up in the 'real world' with no one. I don't know what I want to do. I have no friends. I'm unhappy with my life right now. I have no one to go to. I have no friends to talk to. I can't talk to therapists, I've tried many and I just can't do it. I have no friends that I trust, and when I try to talk to someone I just end up getting ignored by them. When I try to seem outwardly sad no one says anything so I just act happy. When I try to look obviously sad to try and get people's attention (not trying to be like an attention seeker, but like, trying to get people to come to me instead of me going to them, because I really am bad at trying to talk to people. I could have a whole conversation planned in my head, but when I get to them my mind is jsut repeating what to say but my voice won't say anything) no one comes to me, so I just end up putting on fake smile, and saying I'm great when I'm not when asked how I am. I just don't know what to do. I want to end it, but there's that voice that says don't and i don't know why I listen to it",1.8277970133474284,2.2366578085106426,3.797206290471785,93.31608695652176,75.77811550151975,7.059125148671867,22.51103475617814,7.079830092131019,0.37550154618739295,1125,27,287,11,23,385,132,329,0.171,0.7040000000000001,0.124,-0.9148,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,3,2,21,17,0,1,9,0,27,2,1,1,1,47,57,23,0,5,14,0,0,2,4,2,1,8,0,0,14,13,0,1,9,0,1,7,19,7,0,4,1,10,39,10,49,51,3,41,0,3,1,0,20,15,0,1,20,188,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.07645161265710287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265098825244295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05327602807764192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289394733371914,0.0,0.07324026912000912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541325733452699,0.04775725670559175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928814913573535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349713724240756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510125987541254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469438843480497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421108914813329,0.0,0.2455863723324226,0.0,0.1335726516291514,0.0,0.0,0.0863735987641093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339773929710091,0.0,0.0,0.08040267326027341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277383865451404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25833207628450405,0.0638601230633741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05533608328738235,0.07654901104086075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578851425058574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794276570250829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791042477496553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21234938221885796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629398263673679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875650364726071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917165548954357,0.050188627582101984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380924301707206,0.0,0.3115080842430693,0.07843515959960827,0.07928744971097684,0.0,0.07132066083019863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637989623427468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518770235349421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096243472477986,0.05204770730578767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4255188467825107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862645791125774,0.06218514540227538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069250681565369,0.0874673284846201,0.0,0.07552000031793192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983836225798767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009008392358928
mentalhealth,ganggang1996,2019/02/23,"I'm having such bad seperation anxiety... vent post So I have a boyfriend. Let's call him Ted. 
I love him very much. He comes over pretty much EVERY DAY except for Saturdays. 
Well I'm pregnant right now and super emotional.. and I've noticed that I have a really hard time when hes not here. 

Really I feel like I drag him down. The only time he's not here is Saturday bc on Saturday he spends time with his sister. They are pretty much best friends, but his sister hates that's I'm pregnant and doesn't want me around at all. We haven't even met. I dont want my anxiety to ruin things between them or us. 

Last weekend he tried to come see me but I had locked my door bc I was upset with him for not being here... he tried to be here but I shut him out... i locked the door that he can open to come in. I usually unlock it. I don't think he will visit today. 

He has Friday's off so he came over Thursday and spent the night with me and spent the whole day with me as well. But It doesn't feel like enough. I miss him when hes gone. I feel so alone and helpless. I just want to cry. All i can really let myself do is lay in bed and i feel so desperate for human touch and interaction i just want to cry.. I'm crying while typing this. 

I know by wanting him to spend time with him every single second he has is unhealthy but I literally cannot stop this unhealthy cycle. I dont know how. I'm feeling agoraphobic and I'm also unhappy.. I think about ending my life sometimes when he's gone. I have no other friends and nothing else to do... 


I have Noone to confide in. I get such bad anxiety when hes not here which gets worse when he doesn't reply. I don't know what to do... please give me some helpful advice. TIA 

TL;DR unhealthy behavior caused by seperation anxiety from my boyfriend. ",0.3987302574306675,2.618929016042781,2.410114413630147,93.274774903619,86.37967914438501,5.618107200596942,18.590722546946896,7.025160622230231,0.20419768685486872,1388,37,308,20,43,463,179,374,0.17600000000000002,0.701,0.123,-0.9777,0,1,0,0,0,0,49.0,2,0,2,2,26,16,1,1,6,0,35,2,0,2,2,57,72,29,0,5,13,2,7,2,2,1,1,0,3,1,11,23,0,1,10,1,4,7,14,7,2,1,8,8,53,9,36,59,10,47,0,3,1,1,41,14,0,2,27,195,64,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700023290639408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922094459533582,0.0,0.0711981977485669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27243441793961604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925662063942494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867462305033774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343272441378526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909107830213524,0.10182794497621947,0.0,0.09145954054945052,0.0,0.230077419342306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933896924468675,0.11483548383729908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868774591275635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437412171610228,0.10014808757561293,0.07885519438555758,0.09199300236133504,0.0,0.058804250809208175,0.0,0.15002520809694692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22508418352063614,0.1272077771091679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757052849120546,0.0,0.093030227664952,0.08540681478946134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975444447412429,0.08789985222663943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596757192916231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678761472996238,0.07257228971063576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208081509412247,0.0628853512198603,0.08699226903786178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035411061954953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963444710288621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835497257403113,0.0,0.08542781271724471,0.1013625817888119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771221978892293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772949358397792,0.0,0.0,0.08526725428245452,0.18115342265570925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110694967434964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603213620931235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094631883965186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805410768989366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744340480859574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591483560033469,0.1140951628630299,0.0,0.0,0.207659174311502,0.0,0.08439114288929793,0.0,0.0,0.12089264608600167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709354030322166,0.0,0.09805526002353844,0.07346004271779903,0.2625644659633989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600994354306258,0.0,0.0,0.09940012637779916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073037253716867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thelittlefatcat,2019/02/23,"How do you deal with OCD? I was recently diagnosed with OCD and to be honest I am in shock... another illness on top a large cluster of other illnesses... 
How do I deal/cope with it? Not OCD but the fact that I feel everything is hopeless because my illnesses keep piling up and I feel as though I’ll never get out of using antidepressants or having regular therapy sessions... 
",3.076190476190476,5.495375666666668,5.138095238095239,76.54500000000003,77.05555555555556,9.114285714285714,29.73015873015873,9.606745405546679,3.4237992063492078,296,14,52,9,7,102,56,72,0.14400000000000002,0.8079999999999999,0.049,-0.8385,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,7,4,0,3,2,17,12,8,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,7,1,11,10,0,7,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,39,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779240964181243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156973014210946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5465020784052574,0.0,0.26901635826394904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23820647363507305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26803068921428624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384757229982852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355852796169452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442000279097655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26170119032231426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30310347877933874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604065888071987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22891485544446474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,odd_scratches,2019/02/23,"Bad habits Getting high, cutting, skipping classes, don’t care about school or my future, don’t see a future, the only place I see myself is being dead by my 20’s and probably an addict. But I keep going and I just hope that the weed and bleeding can last me for a while.

Probably gonna hate myself for posting this and delete later.",3.758507462686566,5.071799179104481,4.782268656716422,84.64295522388062,72.13432835820895,6.554029850746268,25.34029850746269,6.742157984588678,1.0514501492537307,263,8,50,2,5,86,52,67,0.183,0.731,0.086,-0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,9,14,7,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,8,2,4,12,0,9,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,5,32,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25106088408029537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19229079651313688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348060963019474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120322192250895,0.0,0.13088474019258736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273734716963068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433244882444513,0.0,0.22873976431764334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20470113238478602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18772515587297567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17515345133884969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406143782224546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22056364302211848,0.0,0.4966044867466858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23307579349624616,0.3670384058678973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mnixyg,2019/02/23,"I'm tired I was clean for two months, but today I self harmed again. I have had a very hard time crying in the last two years, after a whole life of crying at any given chance. So I figured causing physical pain would help me release all the weight I have inside from repressed feelings or just feel anything in general, though I know it doesn't do any good and it doesn't even give me that temporary sense of euphoria anymore. I thought I had it under control, but I feel like I'm slipping back to unhealthy coping mechanisms and it makes me feel dissapointed (I never stopped isolating myself, but my unusual eating habits were something I was getting over). So long story short, I got distressed today and cut myself. I'm terribly sorry for the lack of coherence and any linguistic mistakes, but I feel so tired and english isn't my first language.. I just had to vent thanks for keeping up with me ",6.008723068838672,6.754992468208092,6.163289542827116,78.8868470835523,66.51445086705202,8.83426169206516,33.06831318970048,8.841846274778883,2.7768543352601154,719,30,130,11,11,229,112,173,0.266,0.623,0.111,-0.9863,0,0,1,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,2,9,10,1,2,5,0,13,6,0,3,2,33,30,14,0,3,7,0,7,1,0,1,4,0,1,1,5,6,2,4,8,0,0,0,4,7,0,3,9,7,22,3,17,20,3,20,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,14,88,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272673317976146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255148322254814,0.0,0.0,0.10998803552481648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027737145204357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730219804157892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499072992020111,0.0,0.0,0.2936311102788846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676412143793218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827895746892735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379040935053456,0.09548433821197964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368827909983314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983008369586192,0.12821563860779228,0.0,0.1121048575991834,0.10689743360764296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973010649404706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958723583377254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188001726004206,0.0,0.0,0.07345419999060401,0.10894800951676566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440564532942408,0.06529788844207446,0.0,0.0,0.11828193024476573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921685243304013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668346370480744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308424895661307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422201002058072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394330364717772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028954198471446,0.0,0.14961767821301242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174294502178024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305308694428956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131698103923795,0.10610845133645476,0.07793626806230414,0.30723731737577664,0.2533817542561705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261126253998796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028073476849196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275779366064294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922287773688744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494585010528132,0.0,0.0,0.08607050116715567
mentalhealth,LiveloveChrist,2019/02/23,"A Quick Rant Today my dad caught me performing some of my eating disorder behaviors and totally freaked out at me.  He started telling me that I'm making a choice in doing these behaviors, and that I should 'just eat and not throw up.'  I tried to tell him that this isn't just about weight.  It's also about control and thoughts and so much more than just keeping food down.  He ignored me and instead went on a rant about how this hurts everybody else, and how I'm being so selfish, and that he's going to make me quit my job if he catches me doing it again, or I might even be sent back to the hospital.  If you ever meet someone with an eating disorder, don't tell them to 'just eat', or marginalize what they're going through.  Eating disorders are monstrous, and destroy lives.  Trust me, if we could just set it aside and decide to eat, we would, but it isn't that easy.  It's not a decision, it's an illness.",7.061912568306012,5.620881202185792,7.041639344262299,80.79338797814209,64.84699453551913,10.31912568306011,34.540983606557376,9.150863307647796,2.7802524590163937,712,26,148,10,9,228,111,183,0.134,0.8540000000000001,0.012,-0.9521,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,2,1,1,3,19,6,1,0,7,0,12,9,0,5,2,44,24,21,0,6,13,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,15,14,8,3,3,0,0,7,5,5,0,0,4,1,18,1,18,14,4,20,0,1,0,0,15,6,0,7,6,108,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022564178447326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675500885267723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654217209173094,0.09008111264601756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3879196535645748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6926852428040153,0.09425031919613344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451946027696654,0.1020561402793554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642772724324598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824142714273545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078086689797805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196082015318704,0.10028352165474866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962602313363324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506223426632567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968887199672845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293892481179918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200026503530352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559575844504956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985769975699902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29584052796242244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956998078733037,0.0,0.0,0.106944350684289,0.0,0.0,0.07660036998866479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738973915420402,0.0,0.10458936057687404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014722543448384,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lilithh99,2019/02/23,"My mood swings like crazy and it's exausting. I'll go from super happy and genuinely feeling good about something to feeling absolutely miserable and sometimes suicidal within 10 minutes. Then maybe 5 minutes into my sadness I'll get really angry almost to the point of punching something. 
This sometimes seems to lead into a panic attack and I don't know what to do anymore. This only really started the last 2 months or so and has been becoming more and more prevalent, making me feel like I'm in a constant spiral downwards and it honestly freaks me out. ",9.630582524271848,8.679933417475727,9.513902912621358,63.54347572815536,59.485436893203875,11.735145631067965,41.95922330097088,10.793553405168565,4.903300582524271,454,22,67,9,5,149,75,103,0.2,0.625,0.175,-0.6353,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,2,12,1,2,4,0,4,0,0,2,0,19,14,10,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,1,3,5,6,12,13,2,14,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,3,7,42,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848258654185407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866710370874944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141358804641752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078824134429691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20340698798271306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855203398886869,0.1344697170209504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834106587496616,0.0,0.10697398889198946,0.15787624190859012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20037160440494087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344487558586424,0.1534304817318957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391683380321555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564327432983807,0.0,0.18909975772961754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024134265194558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431554460080357,0.0,0.2208443388552973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793576635665334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241166629126059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135518730139365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898133505178652,0.3723234919333856,0.0,0.13322834714303108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20589026310731592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Knight0703,2019/02/23,"I do not know what’s wrong with me I’ve been sad a lot, but not to the point where I can’t be happy sometimes. Mostly it’s just feeling lonely. I have no appetite and I sleep an absurd amount. I’ve lost a lot of joy from doing things like playing video games which I used to love. I do not think I have depression yet these are all symptoms of it. Anyone have any idea what’s wrong?",0.1484605087014721,2.1725686385542176,1.6548594377510069,99.6238420348059,85.50602409638554,4.1708165997322615,16.451137884872825,5.033348758259628,-0.9595504685408304,299,6,71,1,9,96,60,83,0.112,0.5589999999999999,0.329,0.9729,0,2,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,11,0,0,4,0,10,3,1,1,1,16,16,2,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,5,6,0,0,2,1,8,5,6,13,5,3,0,4,0,1,2,2,0,3,2,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515778802385253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585504959802562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919812100352808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270362629747616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23727843451311656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25162404133861804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224985856170183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889641407782208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433188502777405,0.3789988090912674,0.2011736123142895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107100964250066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22305838084271604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204512349960308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23167575176698826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808313287148664,0.14282365820348356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19251179331429036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4874066470690972,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,danuasaurusfrets,2019/02/23,Options for therapy? I have panic disorder. Is telemedicine a good experience for fitting in the therapy. I’m looking to be cost effective and my schedule is incredibly limited. ,5.085000000000001,8.673505166666667,7.395000000000002,55.4025,80.66666666666666,12.333333333333336,47.5,10.686352973137794,8.120000000000001,145,12,18,7,4,51,26,30,0.226,0.608,0.166,-0.2944,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35733609409801137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049885204905513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615130066395137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26182341913618706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658160743831462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7131135691436985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-_KingJames_-,2019/02/23,"Don’t know what’s wrong with me For the past 6 months I haven’t been really outgoing with my friends or going to clubs and stuff like that. I missed 18th birthday parties and other special occasions because I just don’t have the energy to go out. Yesterday my Mum and sister gave out to me because I decided to not go out for a meal with my grandmother because I didn’t feel like it and said that I keep making up excuses. My mother says I’m depressed but I deny that I am. What could be wrong with me? I also haven’t been talking to my friends on social media and if they did I would leave them blank. Also I have been starting going to the gym but haven’t went in the past 4 days. Any help Is appreciated, hopefully I can overcome this.",4.228823529411763,4.747170084967323,5.493339869281048,82.92902941176472,70.37254901960785,8.73437908496732,28.3718954248366,8.841846274778883,2.035839738562092,585,20,122,10,10,196,91,153,0.092,0.726,0.182,0.9169,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,3,10,0,0,5,0,18,1,0,1,0,26,33,11,0,4,6,3,1,2,2,1,0,2,0,0,9,12,1,1,3,2,0,5,7,4,0,0,8,3,22,6,18,22,0,17,0,2,0,0,14,6,0,3,8,85,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26151898934265283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119292295052052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29902392258601723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305500358441463,0.0,0.0,0.10545091246501913,0.0,0.1408315768884535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267595255600102,0.11681211869855455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25265601315785297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3717077291435684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959781490926328,0.0,0.0,0.16240307738365667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453358752133869,0.0,0.0,0.08986123681520469,0.0,0.0,0.17313428439173548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15976619492354835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914470112557367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051272762442848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312179041647109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474917896649702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555361751270325,0.1300303181732123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667862711678438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157337566052832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18718069912490126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314237541794186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157611147502728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615335163983803,0.35754669261663863,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,galaxybeans83,2019/02/23,"Mom of a teen with BPD As the mom of a teenage girl whose been ""unofficially diagnosed"" due to her age, with BPD, I'm finding many related subreddits aren't so keen on people living with someone with BPD asking for advice. My inbox is full of messages from one such sub, where as soon as someone commented that as her mom, I'm the reason she has BPD, it seemed to erupt into a blame game full of toxicity.

I don't understand how any of this works. She hasn't been in my care for 2 years now, and in those 2 years is when all hell has broken loose. I'm simply a mom whose been left out of a lot it seems when it comes to how she's been acting and doing, and I'm just looking for advice. I'm a mom who a week ago, was told ""we can't deal with her anymore, she needs to move back home"" by her dad and step mom. I have two other children, one of whom she's made some serious accusations toward in the past who isn't the most comfortable with her here. I have a boyfriend who is so uncomfortable with her need for male attention and how she tries to get it, that he's basically avoiding her. 

I've been meeting social workers, program coordinators and Dr's for days. No one is on the same page. No one has a damn clue what to tell me except ""well you're starting the process of helping her over, so just take it one step at a time."" She hasn't been to therapy in over a month which I didn't know, and that therapist won't even return a phone call so I can ask anything at all. 

I'm flying blind here. I'm not looking for someone to tell me what to do. I'm not looking for the blame game. What I am looking for, is suggestions. Reading material.  Something you wish that people who care about you could understand. Something someone has done, that has helped you in some way. 

I'm trying to understand so I can help her, so I can help her help herself. Google searching BPD is completely overwhelming, and I keep reading these medically stiff articles that are great explaining what it is, but not to great at helping me understand what she needs us to do. Starting the process of getting her the right services began earlier in the week, but I was told it could take a while to get everything underway. So I'm just trying to understand in the meantime. Maybe I won't understand or know what to do until we get her set up with the right people, I don't know. 

Anyone willing to leave a link or an example of something that helped you, even your own experiences dealing with BPD yourself or with someone you care about, I'd really appreciate it. ",5.180505922379034,5.318526205078129,5.946993447580649,81.84261340725809,68.19921875,9.340826612903227,30.77394153225807,9.19923166143015,2.395227242943548,1995,73,417,35,31,655,226,512,0.058,0.872,0.07,0.9167,0,1,3,0,0,0,54.0,3,6,0,2,27,13,2,2,27,0,45,5,0,5,2,71,94,31,0,6,12,7,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,3,33,23,0,3,16,4,0,5,15,5,1,6,14,5,47,8,72,75,11,53,1,1,5,0,73,24,2,9,22,284,80,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084136813996057,0.0491728026313895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03772303223250778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05501356617344199,0.038787487002283065,0.0,0.045648935217664006,0.0,0.1037181311153756,0.0,0.0,0.042654736161402966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.419192141949896,0.0,0.05664336943137779,0.0,0.16967296775597296,0.0,0.0,0.04778443153644135,0.05816159873361475,0.0,0.0,0.08858015563266065,0.0,0.0,0.035775012152845384,0.1143789079676138,0.0,0.05630316608025336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056767371315873484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327779592304352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498548814392464,0.054262504801741517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05070063154621167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592784439384687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231670294443638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602731591462894,0.0,0.05564318969260668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04930628460638608,0.0,0.0,0.09145829364539912,0.0,0.0,0.058737103201863726,0.06027076194739705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898301305912227,0.0,0.1863308758668624,0.0,0.0,0.047160523253570986,0.0,0.05248918422402645,0.0,0.05624015479801125,0.05572933111398614,0.0,0.0,0.0558824559101661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898105726437017,0.04427742072325636,0.05895822286877962,0.0,0.1233959114921911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18794716120543534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295453945215384,0.11537242065151147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097452318086423,0.0,0.03553694380567945,0.05703471190228876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474599682964754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099970603741076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654697310182698,0.23500728710357144,0.12811574456396715,0.0,0.0,0.07852708814486417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341645680430933,0.0,0.09697038309735108,0.0,0.06343735234298069,0.06440755778695681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0323463150778786,0.0,0.0,0.1060122241945837,0.0,0.11298604939159725,0.0,0.05418832782831544,0.3464914115773107,0.06672628664615908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044031290038636935,0.08899298584979858,0.0,0.049876214709986585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379034987451426,0.0,0.0,0.04038445867987486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714446205568398
mentalhealth,TrueVali,2019/02/23,"Separation Anxiety Or whatever you want to call it... I'm really struggling. I have a few people who I'm very close to, and whenever they aren't around, I just feel hopeless. I don't know why it happens. I don't know how to stop it. Every time I'm left alone, I just feel helpless, like the world is ending. What can cause this sort of thought process? And how can I prevent it?",0.5960256410256406,2.8724116794871826,2.4643589743589764,92.83064102564106,86.05128205128204,6.030769230769232,22.76923076923077,7.3871296695380915,0.9185538461538468,293,11,65,5,9,97,54,78,0.201,0.7340000000000001,0.064,-0.8873,0,1,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,7,0,0,3,0,19,17,5,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,2,5,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,8,1,5,16,1,7,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,2,4,37,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25916205078642224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914247009296361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227570953382004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555120543542869,0.0,0.0,0.2570543814434046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22162885462363846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108289459831013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530468673688893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212769104625254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750389172544337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27187482590233714,0.0,0.0,0.12224937810503872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347746383748042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030327306468542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920286800171733,0.0,0.2615939557965123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986540835708264,0.1459106952730367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20646534771755265,0.14759170225821752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257929887634169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,charr-tastrophe,2019/02/23,"I feel guilty for hating my mother. Vent. My mom is absolutely crazy and i feel guilty that i hate her for it. 

All my life my mother has done nothing but put me down and take out her anger on me

Shes literally admitted to me that shes self aware she takes out her anger on me and still continues to do it

Shes the laziest parent and she blames every bad parenting moment she has on me being a ""bad kid"" even though the worst thing ive ever done was drop out because of the dibilitating mental issues she blames on me ""needing to feel special""

She will promise me things that make me happy and when i want her to actually carry out these promises she acts like she never said it and that im a compulsive liar for saying she said it. (An example of that is she literally spent an hour saying she would love to pay for a plane ticket for my boyfriend to come to canada to see me and then when the time came where i asked she took it back and fucking screamed at me and called me a manipulative liar.) 

Ive made a promise to myself when i was 14 to never ever lie and ive stuck to that and my mother continuously convinces herself and tries to convince my brother and my father that im a compulsive liar and that im horrible and manipulative.

She will turn on me for literally anything. She tells me sometimes that when im upset i could talk to her about anything and she would listen, right? But the other day i went up to her and told her that my depression is getting so bad that i, a big foodie, have lost my appetite completely and it seemed like somehow she took it like a threat and screamed at me that i was trying to manipulate her into doing god knows what for me. 

Im afraid of telling people im upset with somethind they did or said because im afraid theyre gonna turn on me like my mother does. 

She will take any chance she gets to defend my brother even when hes in the wrong and scream at me and make me feel like im doing something wrong. 

Me and my brother get into tiny not even 5 minute bickerments and my mother will hear it and come out and SCREAM at me to leave my brother alone. And its usually about something silly like me winning a game against him or me telling him to clean up after himself when he makes a mess. 

My mom has literally told me in an argument that she thinks my boyfriend of almost 3 years is gonna leave me because im ""a horrible manipulative liar that takes out her anger on the people closest to her."" She told me she thinks that when I move out  and in with him I'm gonna verbally and emotionally abuse my boyfriend. I dont know if its because shes jealous that i have a healthy working relationship and she doesnt or what but i really cant deal with her saying those things especially since everyone knows I couldnt hurt a fly, nevermind the one person i have that makes me genuinely happy. 

I could go on for a long long time on the shit she does to me. But im gonna get to my point.

I feel so damn guilty for hating her so much because in between these horrible horrible things she does she reels me back in again by being nice and fake supportive and buying me things. Shes fucked up my mental health and i feel like an asshole for hating her. I know its justified but like, shes my mother and i hate her??? I dont know. I feel so complicated about this. I still love her because shes my mother and she lets me live with her but she makes me life hell and i cant stand actually communicating with her because when she does reel me back in and i trust to talk to her without problems she gets so fucking bad again. 

I cant get out of it because she sheltered me until i was 18 and now that im 18 i dont have anything government required to get a job nevermind the stable mental health to do so. 

My dad is supportive and other than my boyfriend hes the only reason im alive right now. But he works 4 days on 4 days off and half the time he cant be here to help me because hes working and he cant afford to move out and get us out of here. He helps motivate me to do things and he wants to help me get my stuff together but he just works all the time. 

I have to wait until im 19 to get my ged and i can only move out after that. Getting a job is out of the question rn because everything is so far from my house and i need my SIN to even get a job and i dont have the mental health to be in society and have a schedule. I hate this. I hate this so much. 

Tl;dr: my momma is a manipulative narcissistic awful awful person and life fucking gay ",3.4872288073244526,4.225190189160472,4.9031838469713085,85.69416430965424,72.18809776833156,7.873659772745852,26.166614894138803,8.089152775773815,1.3796223036050028,3532,110,774,49,65,1184,308,941,0.207,0.6709999999999999,0.122,-0.9987,6,1,3,0,1,0,49.0,1,0,1,8,40,69,23,4,38,2,68,14,1,13,6,134,153,79,0,11,15,18,7,8,0,10,6,12,1,4,48,69,0,2,19,2,3,12,15,45,0,2,21,20,168,24,108,114,5,103,2,3,1,7,121,47,7,8,50,524,216,11,0.0,0.044442169653719416,0.07320697412402262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037559962110168564,0.03884813265639031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025507485541237187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260042097310722,0.0,0.035065960677330615,0.0,0.0,0.0865265861341346,0.12527418246976238,0.22865209342027815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03830100183549786,0.04290043686592305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462156536089186,0.039327595130978485,0.0,0.0,0.0598959549464199,0.0,0.0,0.07257083149640735,0.038670252211223895,0.032306547178639886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312979228802513,0.0767696983704231,0.17584162128211067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04219270760382997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909767107162924,0.06785828683309476,0.031603048503842004,0.035841568344385094,0.033710775412582265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327601546870061,0.053593040810169926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870629559023934,0.23516358360142334,0.0,0.021317295370755645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985830423365997,0.0,0.2592274098527171,0.0,0.11961131087204488,0.042275500505695285,0.0,0.07542471062820827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03693892423051081,0.0432804845043676,0.04015428511933825,0.0,0.5267116730448917,0.039149772572575,0.11166603146896156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030701477198102,0.0,0.0,0.07943347721472893,0.0,0.03835561306017441,0.07948139502655338,0.14660047775897825,0.0,0.033121237170724994,0.06638877572403898,0.0,0.0,0.04094563168190077,0.0,0.06770688439909958,0.03549203307447598,0.1251881330209331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120146924184136,0.0,0.0,0.08786044808775266,0.0,0.11959876460300604,0.0551470331339391,0.055625069388818935,0.057858686195767714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03599100901943902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0254171481625114,0.05705474682386232,0.0,0.0,0.08329887019459009,0.0,0.0,0.052008197246490286,0.06550302766988637,0.0,0.0,0.03545823921996971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03589115888458084,0.0,0.037707022286519766,0.04201879497443155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024029300579977982,0.03856561901571042,0.0,0.04027075385046485,0.0,0.06406516128731887,0.1070392782090331,0.08948626511603429,0.0,0.0,0.029889909621184325,0.03414689102322986,0.03913018906476715,0.0,0.03850256918574645,0.031027928873200206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775270100113375,0.03709747543876752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05990965796394046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04293896454769594,0.0,0.08512980206519458,0.0,0.0,0.11280875051203205,0.060296814231574035,0.09835386361064062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951634227936078,0.04806865475146061,0.03685251663094855,0.0,0.08748747015626013,0.0,0.0,0.10752470503315527,0.08334801739933335,0.050932456038252506,0.08159829572827013,0.0,0.0,0.04511884891322805,0.0,0.04131099270434925,0.0,0.04424769761553445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03477132689071122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036157449901793405,0.0,0.10922833451123327,0.0,0.0,0.053290800509629685,0.08202066147945787,0.0,0.02415464131595366
mentalhealth,mbamboo,2019/02/23,"I'm supposed to be fine now but I don't feel fine. Advice? I'm feeling self-conscious posting this, but also I know how supportive this community is and I feel so stuck recently.

So, I suspect I've always had issues with anxiety but haven't addressed them until it went very bad very quickly. I moved abroad to study but really to stay there permanently. Not only have I been living in another country for the first time, but also living without my family, with my partner for the first time (it felt early for this but it made sense financially so...), having to adjust to university straight after school... I also struggled financially a lot, which impacted my degree in the sense that I couldn't enjoy it and get relevant unpaid work experience. I've finished studying on schedule though, stressing about getting a good job afterwards due to the bad financial situation. Not working in my field hasn't helped with the search.

I went through several jobs until I got to the field I'm in now and I think I'll stay in for a while. Which is when it all started to get so bad for me. Anxiety and panic attacks, oversensitive senses causing meltdowns, insomnia, crying, depressive states, exhaustion, anger and so much more. I struggled for a long time before admitting to myself and my partner I need help. Went on medication, a while after started CBT. In the meantime I moved cities and jobs, but continued with the previous regime as I could do therapy over the phone with the same therapist. Got off the meds in the meantime. Then, the job I moved for got atrocious and gave me so much stress for the first time in years. I've had to change it again, going through the whole stress of interviews and so on. Found a much better role, around the same time my therapist said I'm doing well now and can be weaned off therapy. So I finished around Christmas time, then started the new job in January.

The new job is fine, much less stressful and friendly. I'm earning more, although I need to pay off some debt first, but still. I live in a great city, have a loving relationship and I'm healthy. Plus I'm healthy because I finished treatment right? My problem is, I still don't feel excellent despite knowing I'm doing fine. Therapy addressed my bad mental patterns and helped me go through the stress of the previous job. I'm more confident and mature.

But I still struggle so fucking much with myself. I am so sensitive to noise and I feel awful about it. I hate working in an open plan office. I need so much alone time. I get annoyed by people being inconsiderate, noisy and by crowds in general, which is a pain as I live in a huge city. I feel like I never have enough time for things and feel exhausted sometimes, even though I take a lot of care to do the good things: exercise, sleep, eating well, meditation etc. I've had medical tests recently and I'm healthy. But I still have meltdowns sometimes. I feel like there is still something not right with me, and I can't just accept myself the way I am now and be happy. Because I struggle so much with little things, feel overwhelmed sometimes and it feels that there's something lacking to help me understand what is going on. I've suspected I may be on the autism spectrum for a while, but at this point feel scared to admit it because everything's been revolving around me and my health for at least three years now and not only it's exhausting (and my partner is seriously fatigued by this) but I'm afraid it's too much to be looking for another diagnosis since I have GAD?

Thank you for reading this, I wrote it after a crying meltdown and it got quite long... I guess the question is how do you manage living after diagnosis and treatment, when there is no guidance anymore? I feel that I put this expectation on myself that now I'm healthy and everything will be fine, but as it isn't, I'm three times harsher on myself than I was when getting treatment.

Thank you",5.414593788564378,6.675768741978612,5.8111764705882365,79.01990950226245,68.13101604278074,8.801974496092143,32.16536404771699,9.110194879830821,2.8233296174413827,3121,133,569,57,52,1001,298,748,0.187,0.684,0.128,-0.995,8,1,2,0,0,0,91.0,0,3,1,12,49,53,5,13,38,1,47,14,1,4,2,107,116,74,0,8,19,0,13,2,4,2,10,1,2,3,32,40,1,0,25,2,2,10,14,30,2,6,20,15,68,23,89,85,23,111,0,3,1,2,24,36,1,6,62,399,100,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0442781150055832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469293048550429,0.0,0.10870736374326208,0.037703003570045836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502663561563036,0.0693267252628405,0.0,0.04493707765381327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101118513333607,0.0,0.05154865392629762,0.0,0.0,0.15133366516196453,0.0828648616867216,0.0,0.03855695955174344,0.0,0.0,0.04007455823280421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04619834620285545,0.04654764613289605,0.04793382047949921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03617774313795853,0.0,0.09954565338227067,0.0,0.0,0.03902694152046516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04636522953872504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046819147514773084,0.05053457581614386,0.02992798172102269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144655344079832,0.04432358346446227,0.042715882676004194,0.0,0.27493177057365004,0.06474144259480905,0.04350638320199711,0.0,0.0,0.15416859629281146,0.0,0.049681992093225665,0.035007743533665696,0.04188998019958417,0.1183675888539372,0.0,0.07725513053518353,0.07601068760349007,0.14495977436796742,0.04995636132043763,0.04991599810021222,0.0,0.0,0.048235197528493264,0.0,0.04473596950082261,0.0,0.04816426846625748,0.0,0.0,0.12148603623525192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047293691779590544,0.3147544220788851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980430258082549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427406185451701,0.045414274579249264,0.2000555149084429,0.08019894089797391,0.03805045564458615,0.0,0.0,0.07704485431679814,0.040895620992323564,0.04287507085114332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033113640542675,0.0912936366569604,0.04566358380300133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447764926013065,0.2664747829899172,0.1007942593542419,0.03494721286876061,0.08752473572125054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892325123596088,0.04821489380206577,0.053163572450149466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03141346027014586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042834247213251145,0.0,0.04339612855279321,0.0,0.0,0.043357222644219165,0.0,0.04555082118648241,0.05075952701351462,0.04819462074593156,0.045324009263926136,0.0,0.02902786556938275,0.0,0.08947976794182548,0.048647859110931634,0.0,0.07739196916445665,0.04310184793150037,0.0,0.04536496370708596,0.045857907307475305,0.0,0.0,0.04727003451873391,0.05118937692952834,0.0,0.03748234557347447,0.050932302409830384,0.04534447086357325,0.0,0.0,0.06976639354732328,0.1344434299803089,0.0,0.09621566379013798,0.09659258732211376,0.18093009947343192,0.0,0.25952226697876485,0.18947870589167784,0.0,0.0,0.05141923382396873,0.0,0.0,0.03406879482420108,0.0,0.0,0.08343393810649317,0.15545379585472233,0.10522086194667278,0.09030933442414578,0.029033938037071005,0.08903712324843678,0.0,0.2377947979409383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04717112690392361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477387384177232,0.0,0.03596635588803181,0.0,0.0,0.08148140502052831,0.12601333101142892,0.0,0.05058894764179679,0.0,0.043678907406713714,0.0,0.09896247500025723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058358559264965824
mentalhealth,violetdonut,2019/02/23,"I am tired. And I have been tired since so long. Everything is going wrong in my life, and I am tired of being anxious and depressed at the same time. I want to be self dependent but I am failing trying to do that. I see people around me facing problems but they atleast have someone or their family,  and I have got no one. Absolutely no one.

When things got worse last year and we were threatened by my family to move out, I did my best to support my mother emotionally. Fuck I told her I'd leave school to look for a job  to support us financially but she would never open her mouth when the said family members would throw things at me or spread lies/rumours about me. I am doing bad in school, I can't concentrate and I just want my misery to end.

I just want someone to hold me man, I want someone to motivate me. I have been alone since so long. I miss my dad and I just want peace.",1.2419462116830573,3.434463697802201,2.7985367264314647,92.0596211683054,82.35164835164834,6.029381145170619,20.56795835743204,7.273561745256523,0.5020395604395609,691,20,151,10,19,226,105,182,0.251,0.619,0.13,-0.9775,1,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,2,3,9,10,1,0,3,0,20,7,2,2,1,32,36,16,0,8,8,2,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,2,3,11,0,1,1,0,0,3,4,7,0,2,8,3,35,3,19,24,2,19,0,3,2,1,13,7,1,3,9,106,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327879884369248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356183732201358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973663239554178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132297967715773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478158972607813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420393231131062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303137655546438,0.09687317400323807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829857668071576,0.0,0.3093250941623024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111478649113304,0.0,0.0,0.062159940493257765,0.0,0.1749532533219644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853712522323064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915466005419459,0.0,0.11581160111929037,0.0,0.0,0.07725430922394637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193585643800188,0.0918468731677951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162475814667802,0.0,0.0,0.08435621002561333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482297251890093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582637454182944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465644265361236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404001458587958,0.0,0.0,0.22138528040514874,0.08715716375307751,0.0,0.11410125822493734,0.0,0.0,0.18095111775136904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780174919484465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24823334004344336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532686217477972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637770393034858,0.3771290367042206,0.0,0.10451183964586756,0.0,0.07425797647989849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315638271550172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225590070068758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146176526047004,0.1553927424142658,0.11958363732612708,0.0,0.07043346919588338
mentalhealth,wizecrackz,2019/02/23,"Resperidone, meth, alcohol & voices. I use meth a little each day and up until about a week ago I also  drank everyday. I started taking resperidone because I was hearing voices. I was exhausted from being homeless and grievig for my best friend tat died. I've been taking resperidone for a little over six months now and my hair is thinning and I've gained weight (which I needed to gain) but ifeel empty inside without a purpose. I stopped drinking and cut down on meth. I'm tapering down but am dreading any withdrawal symptoms. I've withdrew from heroin before as well as alcohol and benzos. I don't want to have to do it again with psych meds. Is this unavoidable or do some people feel little effects of stopping the medication. I was taking 2 mg a day sometimes 4. Now I'm down to one and today is my first day.",3.6490596745027126,5.8412272151898765,4.793707052441231,80.79518987341773,74.31645569620251,7.299095840867992,28.374321880651003,8.192908349453996,2.2161486437613025,652,27,114,11,14,214,102,158,0.132,0.789,0.079,-0.8533,0,1,6,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,5,6,6,1,1,6,0,13,9,1,2,0,21,25,14,1,2,4,0,4,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,3,9,5,2,2,1,0,0,2,3,1,3,5,7,12,3,21,19,3,26,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,2,16,76,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772163897692648,0.30796363263793525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522380231438127,0.0,0.15611479063443334,0.0,0.09798195844220024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783217726031152,0.0,0.12260474356804688,0.0,0.15120711068511214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787664893233539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495362877779061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411473191240879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728531234952439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255764869996864,0.0,0.0,0.111318824636082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239296997642594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332296078723839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600446753119751,0.1451493198873737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150063539562262,0.0,0.0,0.10683634865515264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763494527723036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988959932998946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250261127759753,0.0,0.10198329020548057,0.0,0.0,0.24092109950320026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975828825404733,0.3249993698923315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657464195513144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444218445641028,0.0,0.0,0.08498438746381534,0.0,0.11557537299013942,0.17545531216218693,0.1295486843911986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889168918378705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Scottish__,2019/02/23,"I think I’ve lost my mind Not sure if this is the right place for this. 

I woke up this morning too a lot of texts and notifications on Facebook, I won’t go into detail but basically I can’t leave my house out of fear for my life.

I suffer from ADHD and show symptoms of BPD, severe anxiety and severe depression, also I heavily abuse MDMA/Ecstasy, is it at all possible I’ve completely lost my mind and made up this entire situation in my head and it’s became a extremely real feeling situation? 

Sorry if this doesn’t make sense ",1.9655055225148708,4.292253859813087,4.745692438402717,78.3636873406967,80.49532710280374,8.003058623619372,23.74596431605777,8.841846274778883,2.1140168224299067,421,15,80,11,11,150,73,107,0.316,0.665,0.018000000000000002,-0.9876,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,1,3,0,5,3,1,2,2,21,13,9,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,1,11,1,13,8,2,10,0,4,0,0,0,9,0,3,0,52,18,0,0.0,0.18188090910021507,0.0,0.0,0.1844858019094968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275963805927975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743257413363035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19333692207266925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094935982831615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221551100055814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727382573918065,0.07761784364104349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724166915794028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754265565068445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712667786671266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254194114932227,0.0,0.0,0.10842666245910873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33514244565525675,0.13050631674682167,0.0,0.14525220734492966,0.10246723604998602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30999698787099744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038233294912216,0.0,0.0,0.17305628293209305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472478022110552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310942947585624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468388433661252,0.0,0.0,0.34509700874302185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183872253518345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467870243992187,0.15955273904504336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836120393694976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sunny_D_Is_Garbage,2019/02/23,"I did it again I fell for a girl, I started to get closer and she just…ghosted me.

It happens every time, either I fuck it up, they’re crazy, or they just ghost me.

I want to stop trying to seek a relationship, but I tell myself “You just have to keep trying”

But I’m so lonely",0.13349999999999795,1.9179440166666664,2.666666666666668,93.755,83.83333333333334,4.666666666666667,16.666666666666668,5.46131890053228,-0.6863333333333332,211,4,49,1,6,73,42,60,0.208,0.772,0.021,-0.856,0,2,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,4,2,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,9,5,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,12,0,6,8,1,7,0,1,0,1,6,2,1,1,4,34,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799495540807677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071757902877785,0.17359596484616116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938229004726853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953344675381309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3567307622732481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351805246503969,0.0,0.0,0.2777903638250544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904162896033288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937477507503902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.451175409689153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19597987857189791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Abdxlxziz,2019/02/23,"I feel like my friends don't like me, and it's making me depressed. This is going to be a bit long, sorry.

I'm a 21 y/o guy, college student and living with my family (this is the norm where i live, people live with their parents until they get married). I barely ever interact with my parents or my brother and sisters, i feel uncomfortable when i hangout with them, i've always been comfortable with my friends but in the last year and a half i've been feeling uncomfortable when i hangout with them, it feels forced, and i think they feel my discomfort. They always invite me to hangout and most of the time i say that i'm busy and can't come, even though i'm not busy, i just want to stay home and play video games. I'm pretty bad at conversations, i'm not witty and i don't have anything interesting to say, and i feel very uncomfortable talking about a subject i'm not interested in. Lately i've been feeling that they don't like me and every time we hang out i feel like i'm the butt of their jokes, we've always made fun of each other, i always give and take (even though i'm bad at giving), but i just can't seem to take a joke lately, it hurts when a harsh joke is directed at me. The biggest moment that really hurt was: one time a few months ago they came back from vacation (i declined to go with them), i suggested we go on a trip sometime in the summer and one friend said ""okay, but don't say anything about what happens in the trip to your family"" (i forgot to mention that i'm related to them, our grandfathers are brothers) so maybe he was afraid that i would tell my family and they would tell his strict family and he would get in trouble (even though i've never done that), but another one of my friends said ""no u/abdxlxziz won't come with us"" and i just shrugged it off and moved on. These moments plus the feeling that they don't like me plus the lack of interaction with my family, are taking a toll on me, i always feel like i'm gonna cry but i don't, that's how i feel most of the day.

I tried booking an appointment with a well regarded psychiatrist but the closest possible appointment is after 4 months.

​

I don't know what's happening to me, i don't know what to do, any advice is appreciated.

​

(this post was all over the place, i'm sorry, but i'm very bad at writing and english isn't my first language)",4.4201983570426755,4.845735072463771,5.5112963334001215,83.30014826688041,69.91097308488612,8.71673011420557,28.210044747211647,8.748949900417786,1.922837494156147,1852,61,391,30,31,615,208,483,0.13699999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.13,-0.8175,2,0,0,0,0,0,65.0,4,1,13,1,20,29,0,2,23,1,32,1,1,3,3,81,81,37,0,5,14,5,11,6,4,5,0,5,1,1,20,37,0,1,15,10,0,10,17,9,1,5,12,16,62,20,49,63,7,55,0,3,0,1,48,19,1,4,30,246,82,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207666516334875,0.05631177845240669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642927242922557,0.1376603302896578,0.15438157219739976,0.043199714475374594,0.06661232800862475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455262214094073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048847410034210434,0.1591241394143085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935370785172856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265657841814932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944368342497483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978009556977299,0.040968878133401214,0.0,0.054714668427281184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500893717260639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587455225294614,0.05746271248960552,0.0535232165361906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994322980665328,0.0,0.3533260206305563,0.2269141794791492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054035003124938766,0.0,0.0,0.19631946601066733,0.0,0.06637920497340295,0.12187944945062047,0.10830950842823084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290051798439138,0.11235128969524233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372154529900885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601134061715592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982422387705907,0.05178199618559385,0.14331971251224124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862129482805008,0.0,0.16828330489886664,0.05621832365663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601096369334077,0.04240395701462947,0.0,0.06382019285165412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141135639156704,0.06751785959856972,0.0,0.0,0.04899500422212589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291401547546102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410757404021661,0.0,0.0,0.044040783004563655,0.0,0.06637092805902317,0.0,0.0,0.0716157814482694,0.060840145096910735,0.06462856469299508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04069624669275233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085514397475795,0.1515547699215849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057831491859142825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282862903601777,0.14222383826721274,0.0,0.06771003801426849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329046088936395,0.05105962236786513,0.11104867807427504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04070476012073705,0.18724129357033675,0.0,0.11112719415678576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04312984035264805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641370167035598,0.0,0.0,0.10483085670780903,0.037469155869824085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057117312874099824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538069221631058,0.0,0.15438157219739976,0.04090852492760731
mentalhealth,kendalkjd,2019/02/23,"Returning to work after recent hospitalization Hi everyone. So I was just hospitalized on a hold to a psych unit and got out yesterday. Luckily, I work in the field so I understand how the process works.  I have some some anxiety about returning to work. My boss knows what happened because I signed a release for my therapist to keep my boss updated on my presence at work.  I got a form in the mail about a potential medical I can take time off for up to 12 weeks it says (I wouldn't want that much time off anyway). I'm very anxious about how to approach my work situation right now and worked appreciate any input. ",3.914117647058824,5.924021126050423,5.313184873949577,78.16490336134457,73.03361344537817,9.80201680672269,30.387394957983194,10.125756701596842,3.3685455462184875,490,22,94,15,10,164,78,119,0.047,0.899,0.054000000000000006,0.4186,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,0,8,0,4,1,0,4,0,17,13,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,13,0,21,9,4,21,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,2,10,62,16,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115339942735586,0.0,0.11379142885078675,0.16804233347842015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906750941728483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213460879870846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23793392502934466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315369212590481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221361078102006,0.0,0.0,0.08174773483245378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984745523164564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934652615626664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687020926971098,0.0,0.0,0.1270295505724674,0.0,0.11828998071841355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167198420058115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183960666170632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270730992166147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734717245903773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485139130829126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273226397042022,0.08773512825106021,0.0,0.11931627060642662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7580296509642365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,objectpermanence_,2019/02/23,"Self-care app recommendations? Hey y'all! Do you have any good self-care app recommendations (for Android)? I've tried looking for some, but they feel more like they help with stuff like ""I'm nervous before doing a presentation"" rather than ""I feel like shit because of trauma flashbacks"".",4.153529411764705,7.350605823529412,3.9210784313725497,82.08985294117647,79.0,5.752941176470588,24.18627450980393,7.1686216300943375,1.1542392156862742,231,8,40,3,6,70,40,51,0.171,0.562,0.267,0.7481,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,2,0,1,7,1,1,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,6,7,1,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,4,5,7,2,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,1,1,4,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104525286482652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533269716998004,0.0,0.214028783456034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25435664133182856,0.3593782382959988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21096677728957505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859153862633158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686464275533495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21121719207733305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5247897188777106,0.0,0.2581862360237196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28793532145459144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076859277261036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mozartbrain,2019/02/23,"[video] Brain News 012: Facebook Impairs Decision-Making, Social Media Screwing Mental Health, and other new studies video: https://youtu.be/Pf1Rc-yPCw8


Study links and timestamps:  

00:33 Creativity during mind wandering
When the Muses Strike: Creative Ideas of Physicists and Writers Routinely Occur During Mind Wandering https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797618820626

02:53 A new way to avoid chocking under pressure: imagine you have the prize
Reappraisal of incentives ameliorates choking under pressure and is correlated with changes in the neural representations of incentives https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/14/1/13/5210274

05:59 Wisdom favors Yoda over Spock
Wise reasoning benefits from emodiversity, irrespective of emotional intensity. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fxge0000543

07:51 The most effective mental strategies that people use to go through challenges
Doing Despite Disliking: Self‐regulatory Strategies in Everyday Aversive Activities https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/per.2182
Strategies table: https://imgur.com/a/1ov3T1B

12:48 Immediately re-watching lecture videos doesn't benefit learning
Re-watching lectures as a study strategy and its effect on mind wandering. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1027%2F1618-3169%2Fa000412

15:50 Positive psychology 4min-writing exercise
Do self-administered positive psychology exercises work in persons in recovery from problematic substance use? An online randomized survey https://www.journalofsubstanceabusetreatment.com/article/S0740-5472(18)30334-9/fulltext
""Rose, Thorn, Bud"" image: https://e7n7r7a7.stackpathcdn.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/RoseThornBud.png
A Mindful Way to Reflect: ""Rose, Thorn, and Bud"" https://www.mindfulschools.org/inspiration/mindful-reflection/

18:36 When facing stress, imagine your romantic partner present with you
The impact of physical proximity and attachment working models on cardiovascular reactivity: Comparing mental activation and romantic partner presence https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/psyp.13324

20:22 Facebook impairs decision-making
Excessive social media users demonstrate impaired decision making in the Iowa Gambling Task https://akademiai.com/doi/pdf/10.1556/2006.7.2018.138
Development of a Facebook Addiction Scale  https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.2466/02.09.18.PR0.110.2.501-517

23:17 Positive social media interactions don't make us feel more connected
Positive and Negative Experiences on Social Media and Perceived Social Isolation https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0890117118824196

23:45 Screen time at bedtime in dark room worsen sleep quality by 147% in pre-teens
Night-time screen-based media device use and adolescents' sleep and health-related quality of life https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412018312418

25:50 Living close to roadway associated with high rates of depression
Close proximity to roadway and urbanicity associated with mental ill-health in older adults https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0048969718350848",25.226904186795487,31.5513149351852,15.361320450885673,10.020072463768145,26.191358024691358,15.634782608695652,53.90177133655396,13.849809479280296,9.90737616747182,2725,129,156,81,23,699,220,324,0.102,0.747,0.151,0.9525,0,2,0,0,1,0,215.0,1,3,0,6,2,13,1,4,11,0,6,11,5,8,0,44,13,16,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,5,0,1,4,3,19,0,1,12,5,1,1,3,6,0,0,0,2,4,7,37,13,2,30,0,1,1,1,16,19,1,2,8,79,7,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348138621581504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596679732043404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041721407035674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175807189931686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677694533018843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285407932421773,0.0,0.0,0.04799652622488128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05394760876128358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30269994809949513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029262597409076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715786435338537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704776767906867,0.0,0.0,0.08381980516286372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672527737329795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826450572139803,0.0,0.3833855170415168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833567622078272,0.0,0.08907992867052864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658084862229375,0.08288414754205521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759788425835914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19805327962168084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998550051156116,0.4838163244698697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873534710372901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535106271008492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418212144630105,0.2459520861916181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069281865749828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821189211325696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yugottadomelykedis,2019/02/23,"Consumed by overthinking every single minute of the day, can't stop Okay so im writing this post on behalf of my friend who overthinks everything and constantly says that she wants to die (although not really suicidal, but expresses the want to die). All of the following is going to be from her perspective and what she tells me. I just want to figure out good advice for her.

I'll start by giving a little background, shes a smart girl, fairly good in social situations but very anxious in class environment (when it comes to speaking up in class, doing a presentation etc.). She also procastinates a lot and hates herself for it, but she can't apparently do anything much about it. Her days are a constant cycle of wanting to be productive but only procastinating. However, even though she only studies the day before any test she does get good grades (and we're in college).

To sum up, there isnt a lot wrong with her as a person, but she absolutely hates herself. She loathes who she is and this is bc she constantly overthinks every single thing she does. 

I've tried to help her out with this, telling her to distract herself but she tells me that its impossible to not overthink. She finds it extremely difficult, nearly impossible to distract herself from her thoughts.

She is convinced that she has extremely bad luck and everything that happens in her life is very unfortunate. Although such is not necessarily the case, it is only that way bc she drags every little thing that happens to her for days.

Does anyone struggle with this? Some advice i could give to her?",5.6575297805642615,7.542133248275862,5.9488401253918495,75.89062695924767,68.24137931034483,8.858934169278996,31.457680250783696,9.339509955726095,3.0211724137931024,1262,53,214,26,22,403,155,290,0.129,0.745,0.126,-0.4679,2,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,0,0,9,16,2,3,12,1,18,1,0,0,1,37,34,19,3,5,10,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,21,12,0,1,3,0,0,3,6,8,0,0,1,2,36,8,40,30,8,29,0,0,0,0,47,13,0,4,11,159,57,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385629717457536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523104574696278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397363261654962,0.0,0.0,0.10627698690142956,0.0,0.06577881725703183,0.0,0.07741499126984076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854796695564907,0.0,0.0,0.08005015358715645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103653091992563,0.0,0.3049821340358837,0.0,0.07511053590062769,0.0,0.0,0.24268011863017536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19526818384202094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469747087010362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491751949775306,0.062135073957436775,0.0,0.2377845293232764,0.0,0.1690955196643778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598204820791969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726814375197021,0.0,0.04914984883485509,0.1804889503866036,0.053464494578364864,0.2367147444066145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637888046820584,0.0,0.0,0.1857574492929263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305590464333588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161620086520924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644733833210485,0.0,0.18857397976308088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15995691809887302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915530799576007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21464283924257305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214189949554992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009700962227464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060266294960784825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481152202040572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574326082384428,0.0,0.0958967259179341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658615161770871,0.0,0.0,0.07865018292262885,0.0,0.09834670371096864,0.0,0.1029018265996764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24667480167236314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249973402995302,0.0,0.09242735259546236,0.07468434902644086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387015736188656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524201479911245,0.2219494310254999,0.0746716635927557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285529038074524,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ghoshatanu56,2019/02/23,"Nobody cares Well Nobody cares until you are dead . Today I tried telling my relatives ( Indian here) why I am gaining weight. Told them I have Bipolar Disorder which is a mental disorder and that people who commit suicide, self harm are mostly suffering from mental illness, and no body gave a fuck.

So well I wanna go dead every moment onwards now.
I have decided I am gonna stop eating to a point where skinny looks healthy and if I drop dead I will have no regret.
",3.7133988764044936,5.983989595505619,4.791446629213485,80.52514747191012,74.39325842696628,7.146629213483148,24.608146067415728,8.07648339933343,1.7236393258426967,370,12,63,6,8,121,66,89,0.392,0.457,0.151,-0.9833,0,0,0,0,0,2,9.0,0,1,1,1,6,8,1,0,3,0,9,7,2,0,1,10,17,6,4,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,3,3,1,1,0,0,1,2,4,2,0,2,2,11,4,4,13,1,9,0,2,1,1,7,2,1,2,5,43,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862738893151896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3646353940952598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4098837026438689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18297628740793784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506625619686446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531511075794642,0.0,0.0,0.10162685205542504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501627658763498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36041460884113136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397044923647547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16904157721139632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18654702042742952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14950053427129156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19559875746604588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629552393014973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949932556597255,0.1708690385069292,0.0,0.12140623574883287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21775313962183504,0.3215591755236839,0.0,0.16135616484266102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BenzTruckPt3,2019/02/23,I cut my hair again and I hate it I always do this. I always act impulsively whenever I have a panic attack and change my appearance but this time I fucking hate it so much. Why did I do this to myself. I was just getting excited on how my hair has been growing and what does my dumbass do? I cut it so that I have to wait another 4 months until it gets back to normal again. I hate not having any self control I hate not being able to control myself from doing stupid shit like this. This must be some sort of self harm because I just hate the way I look right now I hate it,1.965737704918034,3.3655931147540983,3.8696393442622967,89.04872131147543,76.86885245901641,6.847213114754098,22.036065573770493,7.554174236665415,0.7386924590163932,448,12,99,6,10,152,74,122,0.366,0.579,0.055,-0.9943,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,9,16,12,1,2,0,14,4,3,3,1,17,26,8,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,12,3,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,14,0,0,3,3,21,2,8,20,2,13,0,0,1,1,2,2,2,3,8,74,33,0,0.12507715144614098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081484194497675,0.0,0.0,0.08505675206165657,0.1311542989690144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142293316493841,0.0,0.09617660891028114,0.0,0.07624587059742008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231504159158594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28056932174581484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945585811056753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563181104559013,0.13069529852311967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7409267535025121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110637830562999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503330572920798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998353889786793,0.0,0.09194609787441067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254905202344032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675108784427754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681520392505964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609654945429179,0.0,0.12838989855250044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293349285205229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928042095576416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128626746737416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TomMMG94,2019/02/23,"I feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore, be it friends, work colleagues or significant others... I’ve had a real shit time in all aspects of my relationships recently with friends, girlfriends and colleagues. 

Every single one has stabbed me in the back recently in one way or another and now I feel like I’ve become a complete recluse. I have no motivation to do anything anymore and really don’t feel like making effort with people. I now feel like I cannot trust anyone with anything to the point that I really don’t want conversations with people, even at work and if I do, I keep my cards very close to my chest and don’t tell them anything more than I need to. ",7.1304835164835145,6.668194246153848,7.355934065934068,75.4019230769231,64.23076923076923,10.197802197802199,34.72527472527473,9.606745405546679,3.149527472527473,532,21,100,9,7,173,75,130,0.065,0.722,0.213,0.9507,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,4,4,9,1,0,4,0,11,2,2,2,1,24,19,8,0,3,3,0,4,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,1,5,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,1,4,15,8,14,17,3,13,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,3,10,65,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016391013922785,0.0,0.0,0.2651280442955123,0.1869293573812596,0.0,0.32999532007091936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278343656871754,0.0,0.0,0.1476272339284546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401497121339847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828730836186517,0.0,0.11262214573809395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703488464783336,0.38197348283896104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20654513072218084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881141069782032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26121626161220896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922529204769214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991140881652218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811555467034824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18533891656552348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636068905068285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214492109059954,0.17126394572813106,0.0,0.26396460469898103,0.14351079797186625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13720960994003542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683285511855568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794364057155463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029116695568086,0.0788416131568132,0.10610046419230244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19462567680073464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StrawberryPieCrust,2019/02/23,"I don’t know how to stop letting the “small things” affect me A little bit of background: I’ve been in therapy for OCD and anxiety for a little over 6 months now. We worked on my OCD quite a bit, but not so much on my anxiety (in particular, social anxiety).
Lately, I feel that it’s getting quite overwhelming. People’s opinions of me seem to be affecting me very strongly. The negative feelings that come with it last for days if not weeks. 
We’re starting something called “acceptance and commitment therapy” but I don’t really know how to utilize it yet. 
If anyone is familiar with this therapy type, do you think if it would be helpful with my issue? If so, are there any beginner-friendly tips and strategies you can share with me?
If not, what is the best way to start caring less about people’s opinions of me? ",4.979349827387799,6.1425112848101255,5.844729574223247,78.74198504027622,69.0632911392405,9.542922899884926,31.45224395857307,9.800150414767053,3.0964734177215187,645,27,120,15,11,212,98,158,0.061,0.7759999999999999,0.162,0.9647,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,1,2,0,5,8,6,0,1,6,0,12,0,0,4,1,35,23,14,0,6,10,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,1,7,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,1,2,14,5,20,18,5,20,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,8,10,85,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105453062968688,0.0,0.3072924450096449,0.0,0.0,0.09362387417664852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051660846752545,0.0,0.2923616228744908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672377620835768,0.0,0.1365168839410222,0.0,0.0,0.11534038298245852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635246816244939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354046616383816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344846631603273,0.0,0.06995564005255582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974831607802024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975364839830087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471725452105007,0.10914390094951197,0.1510416134836112,0.0,0.0,0.13691872288085494,0.0,0.0,0.2683998784189329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687528342366392,0.0,0.0984296787998309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856545985890876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848318170552719,0.0,0.0,0.08577782714538135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189477200944268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649109813286325,0.0,0.10308042856190952,0.0,0.0,0.18954592803345588,0.0,0.0,0.11194386182325924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4593685608074599,0.0,0.08895519673826224,0.08579577138873137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110479022476858,0.0,0.10628118181954442,0.10740407221168237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747858833737064,0.0,0.0,0.09511656528119816,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,frankie0694,2019/02/23,"Mum referred to this study (linked) and not sure how to move forward... Hey r/mentalhealth,

(Apologies in advance for the long post, also on mobile so typos)


I'm a UK based redditor (24, F) and I've struggled with up and down moods for a long time (10+ years). 
It was always shrugged off as 'it's probably hormonal, you're on the pill/you're on x/y/z' etc etc.

A couple of years ago, I came off all contraceptives to have a break and as an experiment to see if it was them causing the mood changes (these changes would sometimes last extended periods, sometimes short flip flops from high to low). 

Fast forward a year, zero additional hormones/contraceptives, and there was no improvement, except then I was drinking alcohol *excessively*, to the point where I couldn't get through a day without drinking, which in hindsight, did not help the moods. If I was low, I would drink because I felt so bad, and then if I was in a high phase, I'd drink because I actually felt decent and went out socialising etc. 

I finished university, and moved back home to live with my parents. This cut out the drinking, but the moods were still there. I decided to go to the doctors to actually talk about how I felt. My GP was great, very understanding and referred me to the mental health nurse at the surgery. She then sent me to CBT.

The CBT was really interesting, and I learnt a lot, but it didn't relate to how I felt, and I didn't find that any of the coping mechanisms helped me for the way I felt/feel.

Fast forward to today - my Mum asks me how I've been, there's been no change. I have my highs and lows. I'm watching Peaky Blinders and the time and she asks why one of the guys is going crazy, I said he has PTSD, from being in the war. She then goes on to say she heard about a new study that suggests that kids who experience trauma in childhood can often experience depressive episodes in later life. (https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/shocking-rate-of-untreated-ptsd-among-british-teens)

The key rewind here is that when I was about 1 year old, my Dad became disabled. Since I was so young, I have only ever known him with his disability, he's paraplegic. I would say that this did impact on my childhood a fair amount, as it impacted on my parents relationship too, as well as me having to help my parents more, so I guess my childhood was probably 'cut short'. Not to mention I got my periods super early (11) so that was a bummer... I had to grow up quickly I guess.

So, to round up - I suffer with bad mood changes (highs and lows) and have done for a long time. Have tried CBT and it didn't really help. Found out about this study about kids experiencing trauma and how it can cause some sort of PTSD and depressive episodes. 

At this point, I'm unsure where to go. I need to go back to my GP but I'm not sure what to say to help move me forward in the process. I know the waiting lists are long for therapy, and a part of me really doesn't want to end up taking medication, until I've tried all other avenues.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice, or tips, or experiences that they could share on how they went about getting through the system, and how you navigated it all to get the help you needed. If you also felt you didn't want medication, but it has helped a lot, then that would be great to hear about too. (I'm not averse to microdosing psylocibin, and have taken it before, but not for long enough to see if there was ever a difference).

Many thanks in advance. ",5.068144582983397,6.124391707280832,5.352422314102982,82.74677288584535,68.77711738484399,8.467329930874088,28.00339169196977,8.716276077567194,1.8935415336908064,2741,90,551,44,46,869,295,673,0.111,0.8370000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.9853,3,0,6,0,0,0,121.0,0,4,3,3,41,29,3,1,37,0,48,11,0,9,7,102,92,62,1,16,22,6,6,0,0,4,6,6,1,3,28,31,6,1,15,5,0,18,15,15,1,2,38,16,59,9,90,46,13,106,0,7,4,0,48,45,0,16,47,358,87,1,0.0,0.0,0.10426391148966928,0.0,0.0,0.05220314979114695,0.047355188907481686,0.05709164131082881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544276395046238,0.04445120445382717,0.0,0.0,0.07265729110152809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037353754025545215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988431468749044,0.0,0.0,0.08215610990749626,0.08920991769745798,0.06513084829844486,0.0,0.045458004134030006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110029004448302,0.0,0.10975777732157184,0.226052659218914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04265294816408395,0.0591101887430843,0.0,0.034452631698970844,0.0,0.0920242098755234,0.0,0.0,0.05581439483138171,0.0,0.0546794603810786,0.0,0.05466903346136128,0.0,0.2616650559155952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047315844875361605,0.05519898420470965,0.17873823426965582,0.0,0.09664612554836753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20902702534504625,0.0,0.0,0.02701165952184987,0.0,0.3077597461696615,0.0,0.04882654345731432,0.0,0.0,0.058574229612940974,0.0,0.0,0.08373203290943833,0.0,0.1214433255482011,0.0,0.04272628144890354,0.1177954125961608,0.11770023748623505,0.052895965877667976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356971817829252,0.06021023400639195,0.0,0.25065247371220056,0.2257721946518705,0.053586405864655295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02935921580607715,0.043545884693515516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03773338644887676,0.0,0.0,0.04717241467932233,0.23638299215427105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083458205096943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541613048703012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763365578640616,0.05383659410451619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033670843594778,0.0,0.07922315299546552,0.0,0.051595092617547744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560571765986421,0.0,0.03619998392292901,0.04062967459104834,0.0,0.0,0.17795570981620898,0.05785058698478791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100170809811627,0.0,0.0511633026589248,0.0,0.11519543887227482,0.0,0.18734162279824287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267008978891867,0.0,0.0,0.05735500429199284,0.0,0.0,0.050816350776441886,0.12744944231396133,0.0,0.0,0.08514049183067461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04419105240249938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567102224673401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0426627063204823,0.0,0.0,0.05584804854863793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069879983895054,0.0,0.04016653371958954,0.04293840701228273,0.0,0.04918360196780445,0.06109246663265569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345201690798444,0.0,0.05063760551119542,0.0,0.0,0.07253977031378539,0.0,0.0,0.05561396196003877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04407856721242725,0.06301910552937127,0.04240372616647922,0.0,0.0,0.04803260020151492,0.0990450593728832,0.0482048515226799,0.0,0.0,0.051496694151925794,0.05793364675608774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179721260262746,0.0,0.0,0.1376075115447165
mentalhealth,phuwongie,2019/02/23,"Anxiety leads to depersonalization and shortness of breath I just realized how bad my anxiety is recently during my travel. I work up one day feeling separated from my body. I often feel like living in a dream, but not like this. Like I couldn't feel my hands were mine. Then, finally I did some research to found out this is linked to anxiety. 
Now that I'm back home, for about 2-3 months already, I start to feel like I couldn't breathe properly when I focus on my breathing. Sometimes I would wake up from falling asleep because I focus too much on my breathing and feel like I choked. 
I'm currently taking my gap year in my home country, which is Vietnam, and there's barely any help I can get here because mental illness is such a taboo topic here. Even I didn't believe that I have anxiety and was trying to deny it. ",5.626296296296296,6.037406197530867,6.315654320987657,78.63644444444445,67.27160493827161,9.196049382716053,32.24938271604938,9.120678840339163,2.705985679012345,652,26,125,11,10,214,103,162,0.132,0.74,0.128,0.1141,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,13,6,0,0,2,0,13,9,8,2,0,24,24,8,0,3,3,0,6,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,6,5,0,1,8,2,0,3,4,1,0,1,5,6,23,5,17,16,2,22,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,2,16,83,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663225279271115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652279370778684,0.0,0.4343291149821084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914165843803038,0.11851240738617735,0.1730483297413144,0.0,0.0,0.159915663827177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576612615707236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153834974450843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374879431280317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588409091785775,0.30420187912662416,0.0,0.15548628037978374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562783020969334,0.0,0.0,0.07415681314036178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513813468163264,0.0,0.28475102885893744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467189966969819,0.0,0.1253339666745336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304024793379005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329365889894805,0.0,0.1043408550438702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961809483245265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014677698835654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038043707079445,0.0,0.1004645369274976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067198071768262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096366671251531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103332647018738,0.0,0.0,0.10082877310266468,0.0,0.0,0.09140350024137646
mentalhealth,idontknowboyo,2019/02/23,"My mom has gone insane Recently she started watching alien conspiracy videos and now she wont shut up about aliens being among us. Please help, what should i do?",3.98,6.719822333333332,3.6500000000000017,86.70500000000001,75.66666666666666,6.666666666666668,23.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.2003333333333337,130,4,24,2,3,39,29,30,0.174,0.684,0.142,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,3,3,0,7,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,3,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748171634331742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4801919474467348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4500614744040385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048296705114763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902030732096383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4931845534081238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grayperegrine,2019/02/23,"Giving Up I hate to say this but I am at the point of just completely giving up. On life and everything else. 

For the past eighteen months I've been intensively trying to find a doctor, upped from nine years of trying to find treatment. It's not for mental health - it's for a painful neurological issue - but it's affecting my mental health because I literally can't get treatment. I'm watching myself get worse and lose capability (I am crying that I can barely knit anymore much less draw) and all of my other doctors say I need treatment but I can't get it. 

The topper was that my engagement ring went walking at work and it's been over a week. Management just keeps saying someone will return it. 

At this point I would rather be with my late husband than in a world that doesn't care. ",3.2191981566820296,5.3876112193548416,4.3343087557603726,83.70717741935484,75.51612903225806,6.751152073732718,24.61981566820277,7.7094869923839395,1.3253041474654377,629,21,120,9,14,205,96,155,0.13699999999999998,0.804,0.059,-0.9224,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,1,0,7,0,12,7,0,1,1,19,23,7,0,3,7,1,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,12,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,4,5,13,2,21,16,3,20,0,1,1,0,6,12,0,0,6,80,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505240638582724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301310454464497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884298115259674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427804887881186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958560654627145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278768778828734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375960091301593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238838847899905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489292286200709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21344282112821256,0.2612695099187295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444800259672388,0.0,0.2895025977564481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213489650814712,0.0,0.12104164207503305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15361519607510762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961868495785856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234882563377405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744716478586096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869632043814358,0.0,0.10010681202161892,0.1009745773897131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490344658746482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999771655448658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574652587086552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248836505394692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11538353845842515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491242457367416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923411920419417,0.0,0.0,0.12623876524187758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991395160261226,0.0,0.13877745017166282,0.09673724670087316,0.0,0.0,0.087694441577408
mentalhealth,FewEstablishment5,2019/02/23,"Obsessive self doubt I constantly pretend to be someone else. Even when I'm alone and I do something that might be considered ""weird"" I get embarrassed. I watch videos on youtube and shows on TV I don't even enjoy because I'm imagining I'm someone else and actually like whatever I'm watching. Everything feels as if I'm going through a filter, like I think of something then a filter changes it so it's not ""weird."" It got really bad for a couple of months, I didn't feel like myself and I almost attempted suicide (had the pills in my hand. I wanna snap out of it, act like myself, but I honestly don't even know how I'd act. Maybe it's a coping mechanism, it started becoming constant after probably the most anxiety-inducing periods of my life, and most of that was fear of what other people thought of me. After I started trying to force different personalities on myself I started to worry a lot less. I've tried a few things, I've started working out, putting myself in more social situations, spending more time outdoors, meditation, etc. and that's helped me not want to die as much but for some reason I still just constantly adopt these different personalities. It's not DID, they're not distinct, they all share my age and name, and they have a lot of similarities. I used to only be like that in social situations, not constantly, but now even when I'm laying in my bed I'm thinking about how I should be laying. Is this just a symptom of social anxiety, something else, or nothing? Also, something else that is probably significant is that I guess I do have ""imaginary friends,"" but they're only temporary. It's like me imagining I have a friend with me when I'm watching tv, so I appeal to that ""friend"" in my choice of shows or I just pretend to have a conversation with someone who doesn't exist. It's never the same person. Is there a term for this, is it just a symptom of being really shy, or is it nothing? What I can I do to start feeling like my own person again? Like I've said I've tried meditation, I go to the gym, I socialize a lot more than I used to, etc but it hasn't helped with that at all, in fact over that time it's gotten worse.",4.036271853146854,5.415681778554782,5.536805798368301,79.24443946678322,71.54079254079255,8.812383449883447,29.49016608391609,9.271962702966755,2.60610541958042,1709,69,330,37,32,578,190,429,0.084,0.8079999999999999,0.107,0.9055,2,1,4,0,0,2,56.0,0,0,2,2,21,21,0,4,17,0,29,5,1,5,5,65,59,28,2,4,18,0,4,8,3,2,4,1,1,5,30,13,0,0,10,8,1,5,11,7,0,0,8,8,41,14,48,44,19,43,0,0,3,0,21,13,0,14,33,227,71,1,0.0,0.0,0.06915721044223258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709643373445436,0.07339815687107175,0.0,0.056673331384403364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054214033980655364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917204681457434,0.0432006407365886,0.07826843840711456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496923480651158,0.0,0.0,0.30633370176586466,0.0,0.0,0.07841439485205971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355007751009647,0.14808452105471515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368053900086512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807371256076985,0.18723130069616992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369183311494822,0.0,0.0,0.07974650836949243,0.10749938278298317,0.10125661512164193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425795307578248,0.0,0.037025747055011916,0.0,0.08055214409037073,0.0,0.05667983092824309,0.0,0.07806939118855921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500301754716432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038947348836437516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005635622257689,0.2769812634007662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074901132843715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119670440386372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518003719939542,0.0,0.0,0.056566378457896964,0.0,0.05209633400838934,0.0,0.054657980131414485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13600003631177893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077970283580226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04913113654449502,0.2475177658071355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528159666034512,0.0,0.0,0.07124218714465587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080005924975852,0.07286438654290055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741195518836653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393106332224267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593178136189624,0.0,0.2889651139454377,0.1801393702548978,0.21823143188387126,0.0,0.0,0.2508046378176846,0.0,0.056595493433662235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751838700420184,0.0,0.0,0.1473185388315086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04708173081091531,0.090819054116073,0.0,0.05626149177615019,0.08264771843191929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434471398625973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241486596067568,0.0,0.0,0.041799942863334966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515929459347039,0.07197017007870311,0.0722208234482007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,burner000111,2019/02/23,"Im cutting myself and i cant stop Me and my boyfriend broke up. You know that people that say that went through a lot of bad relationships and then found a nice guy.
He was my nice guy. Until he wasn't. 
I don't know how to deal with his, I just started to cut myself to help with all the pain I'm feeling inside me, I just feel like killing myself. He was helping with my mental issues that just got worst now. I need help. I can't tell my friends I'm self harming 
I need to calm myself down before I do anything stupid. Is there any online website I can go talk to anyone?",-0.21317073170731504,1.9592301219512225,1.5185691056910569,98.78029268292684,89.24390243902441,3.60520325203252,17.956097560975607,4.604124745555138,-0.819569756097561,447,12,103,1,15,145,77,123,0.225,0.62,0.154,-0.9164,0,0,0,0,0,3,11.0,0,1,0,0,6,14,4,0,3,0,9,1,0,1,1,20,22,6,1,2,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,0,3,4,6,0,1,5,0,0,2,4,9,0,0,6,3,21,5,13,16,3,9,0,1,0,0,17,2,0,1,6,63,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803472854500245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213653894797983,0.0,0.1428347446614361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449251445973603,0.0,0.0,0.1476967582141246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894483229793115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552616404354354,0.1239996787159371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031244317752227,0.13410108816736585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864481421867102,0.0,0.1388211686976212,0.0,0.0,0.3437266035570621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34902441599714473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18748725364387964,0.1811637909480253,0.0,0.0,0.19203140264367535,0.0,0.1907809672189432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479837991515222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756447800817385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491947950645245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25740247720582315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846925586195865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033278298207901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863510807977382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803120649166786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810731691568526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285496398432465,0.0,0.0,0.14511373845113967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951038193173235,0.1517093426537602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090273280992226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_tomato_salad,2019/02/23,"SAD Spring - warmth, sunlight, people... As the advent of spring is here in the northern hemisphere, as is the seasonal added trouble of SAD.

How is this affecting everyone? How are you dealing with it? Any tips or suggestions from more learned people?

Having to deal with the usual, myself, my thoughts, work, people, family, life, now I have to deal with sun, warmth, clothing, over heating, seeing more people outside. Would love to hear others approach to this.",5.795388788426763,8.52065298734177,4.943074141048825,79.72430379746838,69.75949367088607,7.0459312839059685,30.273056057866178,7.957251820313856,2.4227309222423155,362,15,55,5,7,108,57,79,0.117,0.773,0.11,-0.1793,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,0,7,2,0,3,0,10,11,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,1,14,9,2,8,0,2,1,1,7,2,0,1,5,40,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435959715091014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.611081735252701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887939395760144,0.0,0.0,0.1862586520803237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226844040787728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955495795532258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178321569515335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5479019419053707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574438299332523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685460772278662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21760390018401385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383890366876922,0.0,0.0,0.1403535145937414,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theManEater,2019/02/23,"Skills; ASMR as Solution for Anxiety and Agitation | my personal experience This is a repost from the BPD Subreddit and I wanted to share to a broader audience  


I will introduce myself for context first. I was diagnosed with bpd at the age of 14 and am now 23 years old. I recieved stationary and ambulant therapy throughout my life. I found a few selective skills to be interesting and went on to try out and give an opinion on them so you can maybe try them out yourselves to find something that works for you or just doesn't. I am not a native speaker so I will excuse any mistakes in advance. This is my first post on this subreddit.

​

I will note beforehand that every individual will or might percieve differently than me.

I describe my personal feelings and thoughts and maybe someone can identify themselves with them.

I hope I do not trigger someone, this threat has an educational purpose.

​

​

For those who don't know what ASMR is:

**Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response**

*ASMR is a physical sensation characterised by a pleasurable tingling that typically begins in the head and scalp.*

*It is commonly triggered by* ***Calming Trigger Assortment \[intentional\] \[tapping\] \[scratching\] \[whispering\]*** *.*

*It has been compared with* [*auditory-tactile synesthesia*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia#Auditory-tactile_synesthesia) *and may overlap with* [*frisson*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frisson)*.*

*ASMR signifies the subjective experience of ""low-grade euphoria"" characterized by ""a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin"". It is most commonly triggered by specific auditory or visual stimuli, and less commonly by intentional attention control.*

​

​

I feel very agitated and restless from time to time. Those times usually remind me of a bodily fight or flight response without an imminent physical threat towards me. In my situational panic I usually tend to destructive behaviours to calm myself such as smoking and drinking, craving physical attention as in sexual advances from someone or just plain undisturbed attention by a chosen person. I notice such circumstances arise usually through noticing my behaviour of picking my lips until they bleed. I refer to this practise as my ***trigger warning*** as I tend to subconsciously do it when I am stressed out in any way which I might not notice otherwise.

​

​

A lot of you might now ASMR. A friend suggested to me to give it a try to calm myself as many find it to be very calming and sleep inducing. As it is, ASMR is good for **normal** people (without illness that might differentiate their perception of things from the norm). But to me, a selected few practises in ASMR, as for example chewing infront of the microphone makes me feel ~~rip off someones head~~ at unease. Please note this is my personal experience.I also recieve female ASMR content producers as unbearable to watch as the content tends to make me usually either aggressive or more agitated. ^(As in I'm gonna fuck your shit up C\*nt.) Furthermore I noticed that I don't get the same mental response when watching male content creators. For some reason I cannot quite understand, and never truly noticed before, the female whispering voice makes me aggressive as in ready to be physically violent. I have never experienced anything like this before the ASMR trend. I now tend to distance myself from any female content creators eventhough the sheer presence of it in my youtube recommendations or news feed excites me in a negative type of way.

​

​

But now what works for me. I experienced that the spoken word itself calms me more than for example crackle of plastics. I also enjoy intelligent conversation without regards to the topic. I would enjoy an intelligent take on the construction of a cateye make up as much as the detailed construction of a scenario by a RP Game Master. I tend to prefer the calm way of speaking towards whispering because I usually associate it with ''talking behind someones back''.I have found a few true ''whisper'' ASMR to my liking but they might not be for everyone.

​

​

What I find difficult with this temporary solution to anxiety or agitation is that you have to concentrate yourself on the video or the noises. As many of you might experience times in which it is basically not possible to concentrate at all or your concentration is fleeting all the time

In my experience, trying ASMR to calm myself in above mentioned state usually worsens the condition.  For times like this I would recommend skills which require physical interaction to let of steam first to then follow up with either ASMR or any preffered calming skill. Here I would recommend (dependant on what you like) either dull repetitive things like fidget cubes or fidget spinners (tactile sensory toys) or mentally and physically ''taxing'' things as rubix cubes or 3D cube puzzles.

​

My recommendations:

*Spoken word*

**John Maclean**

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ27ooEfEfo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ27ooEfEfo)

​

*True Whisper*

**Love and attention** **^(Good Night View)**

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KBGQ-1kV8c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KBGQ-1kV8c)

​

**Foreign Language** **^(Spanish)**

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jjs2Q4CoKSQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jjs2Q4CoKSQ)

​

**For those who enjoy plain sounds**

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN9mHGv-Ye4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN9mHGv-Ye4)

​

​

I hope you enjoyed/found interesting/liked my take on ASMR. Furthermore I thought about making this into a series about my personal take on skills if anyone might be interested in that.

Note here that the perception of every skill is up to the individual.And sorry for the wall of text, my formatting is bad :(

Critique is very welcome!

Have a nice and anxiety free day",7.045064319967526,11.134969087003226,6.116022564848571,64.27059279244229,77.24919441460796,9.11917927552289,35.68731446163215,9.212191112281237,4.907021018801222,4904,264,602,144,127,1487,407,931,0.08199999999999999,0.8270000000000001,0.092,0.9153,2,0,2,0,1,0,348.0,0,9,6,18,18,49,9,4,49,0,55,18,7,18,7,133,91,61,0,10,31,0,6,5,1,16,6,9,0,6,45,30,3,2,23,4,2,4,15,17,0,3,7,20,80,33,142,62,16,83,0,1,3,2,38,39,2,31,40,452,125,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040333110537395085,0.0,0.4644965479008283,0.5209177342107694,0.06859549990786007,0.0,0.0578743274430563,0.0,0.0,0.017632775678610622,0.0,0.020751987222402932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019390825559801515,0.021055694509189732,0.015372452752924266,0.0,0.042916746153253936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352152525206342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02828375234398258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016263305847928778,0.0,0.0,0.025595396201621164,0.0,0.02634708958639381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02470370839158757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04249393589244088,0.024096556813588414,0.0,0.09867084968637664,0.0,0.0,0.05100323065039872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914545890268313,0.06435039149374751,0.0,0.08294959461954733,0.019483103181622788,0.023313322257396414,0.013175187625465792,0.048382158684901685,0.0,0.042302757047472696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176119321600993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050093656970705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01385896759009677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025786768043851428,0.017811980514524973,0.06160037953828534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021439154523394892,0.022759924606501704,0.0,0.08416492634308945,0.05113350259712875,0.05066906212274555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082694427425703,0.18726368060147425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01853788322325163,0.0,0.038898831258713976,0.0,0.0,0.023665067587478703,0.024707954639181982,0.0,0.14355237719925962,0.026461694304249786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029587493022903838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017482751698820315,0.11009544926601554,0.0,0.027681420261551255,0.0,0.028429124991881632,0.02415154948401511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026822087744363714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02592795663220064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025885567755820682,0.0,0.028345708776518614,0.025235873991749917,0.0,0.1068342163051762,0.01941378830636491,0.0,0.02822910811805053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028886746731410836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056881630562260574,0.020269001566126044,0.0,0.0,0.028838594349845918,0.0,0.05026048248888869,0.0,0.0,0.04004001373087978,0.08822772938566331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848454893428864,0.0,0.0,0.026252475592400248,0.0,0.0,0.16664215245737732,0.06242163671365665,0.014874030472361275,0.06004981916297609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02337702540957969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292677910364381,0.0,0.03671751669616745,0.0,0.0,0.05374171087255455,0.0,0.5209177342107694,0.016239347597435973
mentalhealth,AGstein,2019/02/23,"Feeling anxious, nervous, or maybe a feeling you just can't explain? Do a 'check in'.  If you are feeling anxious, nervous, or any other feelings that you may have trouble expressing, one tool that can be used is called the ""check in"" and it goes like this:

I'm feeling/was feeling \_\_\_\_\_ (make sure this is an actual emotion, not a belief. For example saying ""I feel hurt"" is different from saying ""I feel like you attacked me"".)

I feel this way when \_\_\_\_\_ happens (this part is the objective trigger, key word ""objective"". To stay with the above example, saying ""you called me a liar"" is much different from saying ""you attacked me"".)

I feel this way because I believe \_\_\_\_\_ (this is part is the subjective trigger. Here it's acceptable to say something like ""I believe your intention was to attack and hurt me"", but be sure to stay clear that this is your perception, not something objective.)

what I notice in my body is \_\_\_\_\_ (what are the sensations in your body that tell you you're feeling the way you do?)

I choose to respond by \_\_\_\_\_

\--------------------------------------------------------

To give you an example:

I am feeling nervous and hopeful.

I feel this way when I share an explanation of the check-in format.

I feel this way because I think my words may not be effective or helpful. However, I also think that I have a responsibility to share ideas that may help people fix their problems even when their lives are largely out of my control.

What I notice in my body is shallow breathing and a bright energetic sensation in my chest and throat.

I choose to respond by letting go of my attachment to other people's actions and just share the idea.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Of course, nobody really expresses themselves exactly like that. But any thorough discussion about your feelings will have those elements in some form or another. The check in is also helpful if you just want to work out exactly how you're feeling. And nobody even has to know that you're doing it. Self-awareness is critical for good communication.",5.4129114740008575,6.9658571368715085,5.897877094972071,77.30224752900733,68.41340782122904,8.971379458530297,34.16029222174474,9.367010060515213,3.3269639879673414,1517,73,265,31,26,489,157,358,0.084,0.743,0.173,0.9865,3,0,2,0,0,0,198.0,0,14,2,3,13,24,4,3,18,0,34,6,6,8,5,72,61,21,0,5,14,0,15,4,0,4,0,5,0,0,26,10,0,1,27,0,3,2,4,11,0,1,1,21,43,13,33,52,5,22,1,2,1,0,37,10,0,11,7,190,69,1,0.0,0.0,0.06938026719245352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371224631510544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966965884567522,0.07455124351884185,0.0,0.16063840123677253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24264878328255596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667995652292391,0.0,0.0,0.16020360102400755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369177093831889,0.0,0.0,0.14519566054368574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974115981638613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485621466242439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997438392051205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391759431897297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5392305337949689,0.05079160196904665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820257441504764,0.04040597678952968,0.059632662409341584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628707073309423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296415441056706,0.0,0.0,0.07061521147737765,0.0,0.0,0.15222129114539973,0.16051937349207693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039072967972976214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270134339761003,0.0,0.1389373135437599,0.0,0.0627798187849279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745769769750177,0.0,0.07142633925190366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05226436332721277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16188846392163633,0.0,0.0,0.048177063780773036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398191473537973,0.0,0.09857920408091984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803008109692897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045546460965925316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826953332473036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416951745623084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946765317075677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155955912599803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340158745047278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062141778324342874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111197806340593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061404848853572995,0.0,0.0,0.04193476263635496,0.28216684079394616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05175935164686219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leaveitt0weaver,2019/02/23,"Feel like I've gone numb I'm sure this post will probably be a little all over the place but I feel like my brain has gone to mush over the last year. I am a very smart person, and I guess I would say I'm not always the most motivated and have a tendency towards laziness that is probably not just depression...might just be laziness. 

I have been feeling very numb, and I guess what's really getting me is that I'm never excited about anything. You know that feeling as a kid on your birthday or Christmas morning? I would say up to about a year ago, I could get that feeling over different things and now I am really struggling to feel anything. I randomly cry, like right now and can't control it. That has gotten somewhat better lately. I live in the Northeast so the winter is always tough for me. I try to get out and go skiing or do various activities, stay busy but it's tough. I also found out I have a pretty bad Vitamin D deficiency(as most people here probably do) and started supplementing which has helped some with the crying at a drop of a hat.

​

I have a great job that I should be way more excited about then I am and I just can't seem to feel anything. My doctor recommended I go talk to a therapist, which I've done many times over the last 15 years and have never found very helpful. I agreed though and then the therapist cancelled the appt on me and never called back to reschedule which has me a little jaded. I don't want to go on meds but I'm wondering if I need to. I've never had a good experience with them except once when a doctor put me on Ritalin. 

​

I just want to feel excited about life again. Any words of encouragement or suggestions, or anything is appreciated. Just had to get this out somewhere. I've been going to the gym to exercise(I'm a little overweight and that adds to my depression), taking coursera courses, reading, cutting my internet use a lot...which helps but I just want to feel something. ",4.010173160173164,5.64218276623377,5.046168831168831,81.74163419913421,71.98701298701299,8.25021645021645,28.158008658008658,8.841846274778883,2.226577489177489,1555,59,299,30,30,510,187,385,0.13,0.722,0.14800000000000002,0.7572,2,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,2,1,3,19,20,1,1,25,0,34,9,1,3,6,75,72,28,0,9,18,0,9,3,0,4,8,2,0,2,16,18,1,1,15,3,0,7,9,8,0,0,10,11,36,12,41,54,7,52,0,1,0,0,14,20,0,14,24,203,52,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651567162445662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05878099163270537,0.12232216076619327,0.15928275265533104,0.1786304139116757,0.049985129492886096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24194957860264404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056519913281925474,0.06137263336622474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500817031301162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205459090747452,0.07505563546667685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244080298898399,0.058686832523274585,0.0,0.16148102622619595,0.0,0.0,0.06330874682185643,0.0,0.0,0.0767958648311074,0.0,0.15046858292198928,0.0,0.07521994490542172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190085654848463,0.0,0.0,0.3344917352940281,0.10502231121460592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611863259838665,0.0,0.0,0.15361088361460076,0.0,0.1670956971156852,0.06165153083698805,0.0,0.08103823942540582,0.1619455259864256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780421698639884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294121607176929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040395786345122635,0.11983087463286288,0.08291552937104762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051917933610176964,0.10773078533144892,0.22101046349698888,0.06490523443664299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249033341891828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452135350498224,0.0,0.0,0.081646192291973,0.0,0.0,0.0779759549970677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05450216353069881,0.2267627608458843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827918715304212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095830535421896,0.0641807150093667,0.0767958648311074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039635719742086,0.07477982700464858,0.23774870388332164,0.0,0.0,0.07389165775418154,0.0,0.0,0.07352372785699081,0.0,0.09417687989448333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277187490221636,0.0,0.11690640230370475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691513229778068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05658684454488151,0.0,0.0,0.05202639392065879,0.07834530989876648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684216948655123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927649618390877,0.0,0.05526573751417586,0.05907959964342961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17068723937452984,0.048832682978846825,0.0,0.07221714633371719,0.0,0.04286067826732525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049904280183692654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348371479123506,0.0,0.1819450896039025,0.13006340186877244,0.0583439242305517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971177541016974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044300332914822,0.0,0.1786304139116757,0.1420021827020429
mentalhealth,deaf_fish,2019/02/23,How to heal after a bad day? I had a really bad day at work yesterday and I'm in some kind of depressive shock or dase. My current plan is to play video games and chill all weekend. Are there better methods for getting back up after a traumatic day?,3.0461764705882364,4.475699450980393,4.653088235294117,84.41139705882355,74.09803921568627,8.237254901960785,26.47549019607843,8.841846274778883,1.9899372549019598,196,7,40,4,4,66,42,51,0.272,0.6409999999999999,0.087,-0.9053,1,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,3,7,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,1,6,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,3,9,4,2,12,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,9,25,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324259282291536,0.5047633816017898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26733205077850913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5848148052472336,0.0,0.2603435389523155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792289008005958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147662769153909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19364103248014655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200551718145496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,queen0fsaig0n,2019/02/23,"Any advice on how to deal with mental illness without therapy? I gave up on therapy after my last session bc my psych kept pushing me to talk about a maybe potentially traumatic event I went through so she can decide if it was bad enough that I would've gotten traumatized from it. I didn't want that but she thought it's necessary so she can diagnose me correctly. So idk fuck her I can deal with this on my own.

Is there some place where you can get resources on how to deal with specific symptoms/ how to get better coping mechanisms or sth similiar?",5.6476190476190435,6.4542227037037065,6.378994708994714,76.80833333333334,67.33333333333333,10.615873015873015,33.02116402116402,10.608840637214634,3.5930830687830686,444,19,84,12,7,146,77,108,0.152,0.8140000000000001,0.034,-0.8787,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,10,3,1,0,1,0,7,4,0,3,1,16,16,9,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,7,0,15,1,17,9,3,12,0,0,0,1,10,7,1,3,3,60,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689268623154514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310122520074725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511458795411096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009932343437278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5598774624406991,0.0,0.18373360562430005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870442038897743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735200048051552,0.1891531358323077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755715983772716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18186101524039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824276846666497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18912955006760052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881512582636833,0.0,0.14549869479703714,0.0,0.0,0.4140290604837876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371131499724674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677151575717957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780928622628274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449882999441735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285928952906472,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lonely_Point,2019/02/23,"Helping a family member who won't help themselves My sister (in her 20s) has started to struggle with mental health issues. She has not been diagnosed by a professional, but she is definitely struggling. In short, she gets depressed, has a lot of obsessive thoughts, has anxiety attacks related to physical health (she had to deal with some issues, which were frustrating, but entirely curable), becomes extremely emotional etc.

The point is, she won't get professional help, which she obviously needs. I found contacts for mental health professionals and sent this to her. When she feels bad she says she will book an appointment, but as soon as she feels better, she refuses to talk about the issues, because then she only wants to enjoy life and not worry about anything. 

Meanwhile, situation at home is extremely tense. She blames our parents for a lot of her issues (she is right about some of it). When she feels bad, she does not talk to us, she rejects harshly anyone who tries to approach her. Obviously, we then give her space. Except this is followed by more anger that we did not help her when she felt bad. When this irony is pointed out, she just becomes very angry that we cannot understand her.

Any advice will be appreciated. How do we help her? How do we behave when she has a bad day? What do we do when she is angry at us?",6.119562410329987,7.51439173577236,6.218570062171214,76.25223098995698,66.60162601626016,9.365471066475367,31.543758967001448,9.627879704456738,3.0169213773314203,1061,42,186,22,17,337,134,246,0.257,0.6679999999999999,0.075,-0.9958,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,9,0,0,1,13,14,3,3,8,0,26,5,0,2,2,38,41,17,0,2,9,2,4,0,0,4,5,1,1,0,11,11,0,1,7,1,0,3,7,12,0,0,8,5,40,2,28,28,6,24,0,2,0,0,55,10,0,4,11,140,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367007886273186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518585769882787,0.0,0.07333012958937367,0.0,0.0,0.06702524846470634,0.0,0.07888191428676783,0.0,0.0,0.10905085905159057,0.0,0.0,0.3201454341161551,0.058433367727042614,0.2117324356715299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477748046823089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181965534996409,0.09882407082985102,0.08256125378264725,0.09729255457195468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388486296686352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782590974500704,0.0,0.0,0.10690558307181827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903651860167938,0.0,0.1454041157141458,0.0,0.0920374849979372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510194747096308,0.0,0.0,0.1001623613050524,0.09195450183853028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056736375316281,0.0,0.0,0.3212536993004854,0.0,0.0961521073612278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4001980516239577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770643722773281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629879135304693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19320205909591034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107654440899289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290335618323261,0.0,0.0,0.10643754536681624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123117092880134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186111642357259,0.0,0.07622911235766422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774697122467268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784788086180492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004205161109937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540920035351083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609952958506452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508042170981274,0.0,0.0,0.09979022766839347,0.23060766691705406,0.0,0.0,0.07909183417979294,0.0565387779129384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734715369684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LogicalChain5,2019/02/23,"Question about medications - OCD Is it normal to feel bad days after several months of SSRI treatment for OCD? I've been doing fantastically, with little OCD at all over the past few months, but over the past week / few days I've experience increased obsessive thoughts. I'm super worried that the medication has stopped working, since it was working so well before.",11.02041666666667,10.006603125000003,10.06125,60.92541666666668,56.8125,12.283333333333333,43.20833333333333,11.20814326018867,5.0439645833333335,296,14,45,6,3,94,50,64,0.129,0.7170000000000001,0.154,0.5943,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,1,3,0,5,2,0,0,1,8,8,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,2,9,5,4,14,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,9,26,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648212021739882,0.0,0.0,0.16797331694017353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254614030423832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19309560244782592,0.0,0.0,0.09981164224821637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19784719610141996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977205449569026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151264491247237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934106132245104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3768822959876573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22113377760847994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22300641790529546,0.0,0.16329176329956874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503568714682645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671397576808213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834280300073972,0.0,0.17748678875828233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874198825436269,0.20046982640655464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tr8orst8x3,2019/02/23,"Is there an agreed cause of mental illness? I want to know what the current position of cause is,

is it over or under? electrical or chemical? or the home environment?

maybe genetic. No body seems to agree on anything",2.1563333333333325,5.0444633,3.5300000000000047,81.62833333333334,91.0,7.666666666666668,26.66666666666667,8.344100000000001,2.799916666666667,172,8,30,5,6,56,32,40,0.107,0.743,0.15,0.2406,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,1,2,0,8,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,1,21,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522578753820345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404989604785545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6298059711310556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30748653269583914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846741865242298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079625536990884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308922148933853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790642447378324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18080636254801194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SauerkrautCutie,2019/02/23,"Love helps mend wounds So the past 4 months my depression and anxiety has been really bad like crippling bad, but then in January I met someone. I didn’t go looking for him or anything but just someone to talk to.. then he messaged me (on a different app) not knowing what I look like or anything, just to help and be the sweet caring person he is. It’s been only a few months (2 almost) and it’s like I’ve known him for years. I’ve never felt this way about someone before, he makes me calm and actually feel loved (Never had that in a relationship). Most guys I’ve noticed anyway just talk to you for a bit see if they can get some nudes or something out of you then ghost you, he hasn’t.. he’s been the same the whole way through. So I’m just gonna (try to) be positive and see where it goes. But I’ve already fallen and can’t get up lol and for once I feel happy and excited about the future.",2.7714133738601845,3.8263985425531963,4.1460790273556265,89.25500000000002,74.21276595744679,7.286322188449849,24.598784194528875,7.7094869923839395,1.0319592705167175,698,21,156,9,14,231,113,188,0.069,0.693,0.238,0.9905,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,3,1,0,10,13,0,0,9,1,12,4,1,1,2,33,30,20,1,1,12,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,6,9,0,0,5,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,7,8,13,10,18,20,6,20,0,1,4,3,22,6,0,7,13,92,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.12782487698110254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116503157235954,0.0,0.1445479319727816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020505714317632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21558305632161687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218738134647897,0.0,0.0,0.11146069053460687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300439338342966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355045701715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281931723602605,0.0,0.0,0.13685402842004354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324624026129307,0.0,0.12576851418613866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687109506516792,0.0,0.07444319864171264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296981905724771,0.0,0.13943859907791714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559628205281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198728869950928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19198158637692267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21999297198786671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364426141811712,0.0,0.08743515433808166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20910590006191546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20205122623242866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913010444339742,0.0,0.13949738214291105,0.0,0.0996218745715782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504236305583602,0.0,0.11437320766199292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391392834715469,0.0,0.0,0.14063152366197204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876011150694013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329557785087297,0.10084055500354118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105655356946156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893189488211155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20794351576988807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462428340597405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435163703129371
mentalhealth,feathernose,2019/02/23,"I tink i’m having a breakdown but i am abroad and don’t know what to do Hey redditers,
I’m reaching out here, as i feel really desperate and lost. I will try to keep my story short.

A few montsh ago i was diagnosed with cancer in my spine, for the second time. First time surgery went well. This time it went well, but they could not cut everything away and some nerves are severely damaged, causing chronic pain in my left leg. This causes me living in a constant fear: ‘when will it come back, and what will the consequences be this time?’ I am lucky i can go to the toilet, i am luckily a can still walk. My pain is mostly bearable thanks to my meds. But this might change in the near future.

I am on a solo travel now, i thought it would be good for me to be on my own for a bit.  And my egyptian friend invited me for her wedding next week, so i decided to visit some other places first. Turns out i feel fucking lonely. I try to meet people, what works, so now and then. But then there are the lonely nights and dinners on my own. Some things trigger me and i feel like busting out of tears at random moments! Normally this travel would be blissful for me, and i would enjoy all my actitivies very much.

When i arrived here (egypt) i was exhausted. I felt lonely and tired but hey, should be normal after a long trip with no sleep and food. But no matter how i take good care of myself, the feeling persists. I feel crappy and awful, and even guilty about that because i’m in a beautiful place! 

Next days, i planned some nice activities. I didn’t get the joy out of them as i usually do and kept wondering what changed. I also don’t get turned on anymore the last few months, while i was horny every day a year ago. Somewhere feels like i’m broken. Or something is really wrong. 

I have an semi-open relationship with my boyfriend of 5 years. 1 year open. We love each other to the moon and it goes very well, most of the time. We ask consent from each other, each time we want to go on a date with someone else. Which is fine and works for now. Yesterday i saw a guy on a boat which immedialey caught my attention. He had this kind of attractive energy which turned me on when i thought about what i wanted to do with him. Oh. So i’m not broken!? Wow. 

Same day i ask my bf if it’s okay of i meet up with a guy i met on tinder, because it is hard to meet non-egyptian guys here (most egyptians are a no-go). All the western guys are found on tinder. I explained that i felt a bit alone and it woul be nice to meet up with someone. Jut for a chat. And asked if there was a click, if i could go further. My bf encouraged me to do do this.  

A few minutes later he was like ‘is it okay if i look for someone too then’  and that moment i was like ‘what’.... he hooks up a lot with girls when i just do other things. I don’t NEED to be with someone when he is. I said ‘never mind, i’m not going for it then’ he was like ‘okay whatever’. I tried to explain that our situation was a bit different: i’m completely alone and making some connection would be helpful. He is surrounded bij his family and friends, is busy and not lonely at all. He is actually very happy. He told me that he didn’t want me to pursue sex with someone else, if i would not give him ‘permission’ to do the same thing immediately. This felt not sincere. The chance it would turn out that i go to my hotel alone again, while he is hooking up with someone else,made me pull back. It would only make me feel more bad than it already does. He found that very frustrating. The fact that he found it frustrating, proves me that he doesn’t understand where i am at all.

I wanted to explain my situation and how i feel lately, but he didn’t want to listen. He was with his mum and wanted to keep it short. He said i got 10 minutes, no more (he was with his mom, who pys a visit once a year for 1-2 weeks). He was not understanding at all, he was frustrated and really didn’t seem to care that it has not been going well with me lately. ‘It was your own choice to go there, now you should just be there and deal withot yourself’ is what he said. I was really hurt by this. I was not doing well, but trying really hard to fill my days with things i would like. But this conversation seemed the drop. I really crashed down, feeling sad and angry that my own partner does not want to be there for me. I called a good friend who listened to me and helped me to put some things in perspective. After that i was able to get some sleep, despite i needed a sleeping pill (i suffer from bad insomnia, especially the last few days, max 3 hr per night)

Waking up has been a hell. Like the last past days, but being reminded to the conversation with my boyfriend really really hurts and makes everything worse. I’ve broken down emotionally and i have no where to go. I don’t know anyone, my boyfriend does not want to talk with me anymore.  I can’t stop crying, which is really not normal for me. I know i need help and i asked my docter last week to make an appointment with a psychologist for me, but there is a waiting list.in the meantime i feel like i’m falling apart.

Td/dr: i have been going to a depression after my sickness and went abroad alone. I Feel very lonely and wondering if i would feel less lonely for a moment if i could go on a date. Partner gave me permission, but only if he could do the samen, which might turn out in me being even more lonely alone (by finding no date) while he is wit someone else. He has not been supportive at all and wants me to leave him alone.",2.7764875946696392,4.167534407440215,3.9897214398742062,89.05232849991543,74.72187776793622,7.235361909216667,23.22569440988844,7.858595863577375,0.9533493914272344,4282,119,934,61,89,1400,407,1129,0.17,0.701,0.129,-0.9958,1,20,1,0,0,0,140.0,4,2,2,7,42,66,6,1,52,4,104,21,6,9,9,209,211,75,0,38,36,2,17,8,7,16,10,5,0,7,61,66,2,5,36,4,0,25,29,27,5,3,47,25,125,39,122,132,38,145,1,14,3,3,91,48,2,28,79,623,186,2,0.03757965053855618,0.0,0.03667231799586925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662418555212933,0.0,0.0,0.2335271071699761,0.041470078846504985,0.0300524329585296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453783076183743,0.02627656542695509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052760149448493,0.0,0.035307318727422966,0.05779286322151472,0.06275487699328552,0.04581641233319637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308173603184043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03837302485668068,0.0,0.07662991655295154,0.07720930578851921,0.07950857477190712,0.032371541409301686,0.039401548606904604,0.040610251816740654,0.0,0.1200171722841683,0.0,0.041279481512159384,0.1454145942626843,0.038742969588333655,0.03236729794285708,0.03814255425120515,0.0,0.039262736391896015,0.0,0.0,0.0986586162932597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09417892772858877,0.042272048773195785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964200951718219,0.0,0.031662476375771034,0.0,0.06754833350839863,0.0,0.03542675002450143,0.04228755462062945,0.2280168054534368,0.08054072956054129,0.10824707337955664,0.0,0.034347119779467986,0.06393046310104503,0.0454414625994688,0.12361244139253305,0.08710183435720438,0.0347417813724739,0.0589014490905563,0.03604982509144347,0.23493119566892784,0.09456008375189244,0.030055879502093093,0.0,0.0,0.14883904918964724,0.0,0.040004236789055375,0.06732797097386177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556654283287527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045958628468762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668050401586219,0.0,0.03913342312347677,0.061958379429673964,0.12252972351226506,0.08478296532370751,0.039791423847147914,0.04083040026671477,0.0,0.0,0.14687615225335296,0.0,0.033183519916659264,0.03325680816398457,0.031557441775547784,0.0,0.04102262779053091,0.031948875026859926,0.0339171018185624,0.0,0.10033883418102016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041742520022553166,0.0,0.0,0.07973214111695466,0.03794473428978568,0.04401283252159885,0.029995718529096275,0.0,0.027625367115848586,0.08359450411294933,0.028983743207303774,0.0,0.0799327693591893,0.07053191263018395,0.11046023583744602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002110135644742,0.0,0.05716203527696138,0.07997479547078151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0358740286651438,0.02605299796415602,0.0,0.07852547278379203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037777928360375135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166703777525209,0.0,0.0,0.040346480886798715,0.0,0.0,0.10724055994664804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842220491466856,0.0,0.04245430848631642,0.0,0.0,0.08448220346194471,0.11282037033823275,0.0,0.222887811655203,0.028930650960192376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030011157463704526,0.031418270555594624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04264494209214665,0.0,0.0,0.028255220359779825,0.030205099611029164,0.0,0.03459829323062175,0.0,0.0,0.1248312499197779,0.0,0.0,0.05966808967982881,0.13147797861945826,0.04319228010415229,0.0,0.03590896653013439,0.0,0.1020564636905276,0.20437934258821908,0.0,0.07824348305638988,0.0,0.0,0.04138867585518189,0.15503573676847826,0.1994890638853116,0.0,0.09043238667735856,0.0,0.16894309484379347,0.10451013763094848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150705593699563,0.054716866327093334,0.0,0.03829687441815281,0.2402595497676837,0.04108744851153731,0.0,0.0968002513983585
mentalhealth,MintTastesSweetly,2019/02/23,"Is it possible for emotions to just disappear? Sorry for the long post, but, I'm really trying to figure thid out.  
For a long period of time, I thought this was just depression, beceause I've heard that often people with depression feel numb inside and don't feel happiness nor sadness for a while. I asked my mom who has manic depression about this and observed her, and I can positively say I am not depressed; I still have great interest in my hobbies and things that interest me, my sleep schedule isn't (mostly because of college) the best but I can sleep, I do not feel negative about the preception of myself at all, although I do experiene insecurity sometimes, my apetite and weight is fine, I don't feel holepless of helpless- however, I do find myself being very aggressivemy angry and I can't lie, I do somw reckless things but not eith an intent to hurt myself, rather out of fun.

I haven't felt anything in years, and now that I give it thought, I can pinpoint that my genersl lack of emotion started when I was 9, and completely deteriorated at age 12. My homelife wasn't the best, but people have it far worse. My dad was abusive; he would scream at my mom and overwork her all the time. She attempred suicide 3 times since I wad born, and all the suicide notes were either found by me or given to me, a 7 to 12 year old to read. Dad would often give his attention to his pets more than brother and me, and the attention I recieved.. let's just say I'd ratger have none than have that. As I grew up from my toddler state and wanted to play with other kids, father wouldn't allow me and tell me hoe bad other kids are, and how bad their parents are. So, I would just look how kids played from the window. I did play with my brother, and we are to this day very close, although he seems to have all emotions there. My first interaction with other kids was in kindergarten when I turned 6, and I can positively say that from that day on, I was repeatedly bullied and pushed away from friend groups. Mom tried to convince me that it's nit my fault, that kids were evil, but now that I remember it better.. I was a kid that was quiet, didn't relate to other kids, did noy know how to talk aboht generic topics everyone was interested in, did not know how to make friends and appeared to be very disrubed. This only grew worse as I got older, and through my school years I did manage to make a few close friends, but they would all leave me very quickly without a word.

I think it's important to mention that as a child, I started being abusive towards my pet rabbits in order to cope, however, I never gave anything but attention and affection to my cats. Dogs disgust me; bad experiences.

The event that triggered this entire thought was because a friend I got really, really close to this college year just started screaming at me that I should ""talk to her when I learn how people work"". Now, I did m best to be normal with her. I did ny best trying to fake emotion in my voice, give smiles and generally act like a bubbly girl my age. I helped with everything she needed, hell, I stood up until 5am often to helo her study for her exams. She often did nothing for me, but then again, I didn't really need anything. One thing that  didn't bug me at the time, but bugs me now is that she always jokingly referred to me as a psychopath. 

When out relationship broke off, I felt nothig but anger, but that went away pretty quickly and I went back to not caring. Other friends I am not close to view me as a great friend who is normal in every way.

So... help?",7.125493650793652,6.188568670000002,7.333333333333332,77.11888888888889,64.44285714285715,10.177777777777775,33.73015873015873,9.2995712137729,2.839368253968254,2799,100,546,42,36,910,305,700,0.177,0.6659999999999999,0.157,-0.9652,3,0,0,0,0,4,88.0,1,0,2,7,34,47,4,1,22,0,61,4,2,11,6,122,100,57,2,13,26,9,7,1,6,6,1,8,3,9,39,37,1,0,22,5,0,8,21,21,0,2,36,17,92,26,84,53,15,81,1,8,2,0,61,27,1,8,43,394,131,8,0.0,0.1441020624324928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059958140461409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501266899018852,0.0,0.056850028859438635,0.0,0.11426777756153013,0.04675986648988162,0.15232380814293556,0.0741395807137682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552693588344002,0.053782343037670585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062000815799914434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375912351985913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784360632597063,0.0,0.20950552661080624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736165327974339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05123584766497336,0.05810746819387999,0.05465296025151552,0.05948477726681919,0.0,0.0,0.12299137282268935,0.0,0.11677609580148952,0.0,0.055580106112548516,0.051725762535473466,0.0,0.06667606729512103,0.28189433217424953,0.0,0.0,0.17500621159381627,0.0,0.0,0.0972721429195878,0.1340885728966195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473438646277241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152059515085011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509937910642415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684021494618146,0.0,0.0,0.06439001505785445,0.0,0.06218331587880991,0.0,0.029709158220757488,0.0,0.0,0.1076315533056066,0.0510658819076295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118356192306167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213663147091006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901810969664089,0.046901153090681456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916363814455633,0.05834974607606223,0.0,0.06381086194328317,0.0,0.0412070731459395,0.04624946730179607,0.0,0.0,0.06752336287171089,0.0,0.0,0.12647596660463542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855520848995504,0.05824007987248767,0.06186659751992263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082740575489714,0.0,0.1558282054798523,0.0,0.0,0.06528820184499665,0.06888695133884719,0.0,0.0,0.14507792332233904,0.0,0.06154392738337008,0.0,0.055360004478237516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503034457866825,0.0,0.1217097327775436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014358393636333,0.0680728792416607,0.12912690903533094,0.0,0.04856370278215323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303461736000574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775507537750824,0.0531514501689473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120027812377085,0.038965200967979785,0.0,0.14483130363904914,0.14183741460812258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385992881960155,0.0661448506960782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20070160773085072,0.03586787354200526,0.04826890115538809,0.0,0.07405135386291868,0.0,0.11274471875489407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058619585224412,0.0,0.044271095453306826,0.0,0.12394310542523446,0.1727934149469115,0.0,0.0,0.1566410307177574
mentalhealth,BenFromPerth23,2019/02/23,"Medications to treat Anxiety, stress, and depression, but ALSO to assist with mental clarity? So, I'm quitting Paxil. It turned me into a Zombie. It didn't really do what I needed it to do (which was manage mild depression, and also Anxiety - I have a seperate pill for that). And quitting has been a nightmare (Brain Zaps, dizziness, and HUGE confusion - which was actually something I had hoped to treat with Paxil, as my doc thought my ""Brain Fog"" may have been caused partly at least by Depression and Anxiety).

Quitting Paxil has been a nightmare, but apparently there's a way to cheat - replace it with Prozac. Then quit the Prozac.

I actually did take Prozac for a while, and remember not hating it, so we'll see if I actually do that, or just stick with it. I started it again today.

I haven't really discussed other meds with my doc yet because my goal was to quit it all.

But when I spoke to my Pharmacist, he mentioned Brintellix/Trintellix. He said that many ""young professionals"" were getting prescribed it because it actually can aid with mental clarity. It's better for people who want to ""stay sharp"".

Who doesn't want to ""stay sharp?!""

Given the list of symptoms I was telling my doctor, I'm quite annoyed he hadn't mentioned it yet.

I'm just wondering if anyone here is on it? If so, how do you feel? Any negative side effects you can attribute to the meds? Do you feel like you're still ""all there"", or maybe even better than you were before?

My main issue honestly, is this Brain Fog. Once that's cured or improved, I can get on with life and sort my shit out. That will take care of any lingering depression and anxiety I hope. (Or, the meds will take care of it).

So yeah... Trintellix for treating depression, but ALSO for managing mental clarity? Any thoughts on that? Any other drugs that can do it?",4.274598997493737,6.2418396637426925,5.148425229741021,79.9059210526316,71.953216374269,8.628404344193816,28.58855472013366,9.23628265651192,2.6155326649958237,1423,56,260,32,28,463,166,342,0.128,0.7120000000000001,0.16,0.9055,1,0,2,0,0,0,70.0,1,4,0,10,19,22,4,2,10,1,35,13,4,4,2,51,62,31,0,8,14,0,4,1,0,4,9,2,0,0,30,17,0,0,7,0,0,0,6,11,0,0,18,7,25,11,34,40,5,21,0,5,1,0,16,8,1,13,11,180,55,5,0.0,0.0,0.2862445805413855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592996304661007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947223845223705,0.0,0.22439414946055106,0.0,0.0,0.05127521833739998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940462757020289,0.0,0.06239986175314005,0.0,0.0,0.12971183011405632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455872339881499,0.0,0.0,0.1495330778047063,0.075331839372056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158023588785271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505808566640029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504147190252914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0484348855214097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415740536767351,0.05238816953646784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766255562306569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239985581585609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456698165568739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653922568457876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179633692111636,0.03582615656278986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434681747821048,0.07367153279351922,0.0,0.2443649076656812,0.07387395651219257,0.22170326832718576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054374514331835586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809584992603237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941106740070028,0.0,0.05083895620489153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679836335780518,0.0,0.0,0.0939563087741608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830705025521218,0.0,0.069755224050307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843585767826639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527391958359274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564543128267914,0.0,0.0,0.05190454320733851,0.1563236356121204,0.05856277738379671,0.0,0.08400119599474057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621969763553997,0.16540889985943774,0.0,0.0640951238383313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643433136700147,0.0,0.0,0.06950986176366718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976381421686868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650585408996249,0.05820727726639272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952508292657061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JoshisChaos,2019/02/23,"I'm worried about my first time at therapy In 3 days i'm going and as i get closer, i'm starting to worry more and more. See, last  year, august to december to be exact, i was in a bad spot. I was going sad out of my mind and did anything to keep myself from feeling that pain. A lot of my older posts were about this stuff. Recently ive been having days where i've felt bad, really bad. so this time i thought i'd tackle this before it starts and so i kept asking my mom until one day she finally gave in and booked me. Granted i'm still mad at her for waiting this long and until i wasn't losing my mind to do this, since i asked before, but better late then never. 

Now that it's getting close, i'm worried about many things. Mostly about her seeing through me. I don't know if i can be 100% honest with her. She's qualified for so damn much and has a phd and stuff. From what ive been told, she can diagnose too.  What's scary is two things: Getting diagnosed with something, or saying something that'll raise a red flag. 

​

I can't mention last summer, because what if she thinks i was manic or something? i'm sure i wasn't, i was just really happy at the time despite my girlfriend dumping me the last week of school.  It was after that when i felt good and was able to get so much done. Saying that i completed two months worth of school work in two days (online school btw) might be a problem. i'm not taking that chance. 

​

What if borderline personality is what she thinks? Ive always related to people who had it and even a friend who actually had it said i should see someone cuz it sounds like it. I don't go crazy when someone it leaving me though, i more or less become subservient and try to make them stay through doing whatever they want. I don't think that's frantic, and that's the main symptom. 

​

Dysthymia? well then i'm screwed cuz i'm basically depressed forever. 

​

Maybe nothing is wrong and i'm worrying over nothing. But even if i don't come out with depression or something worse, mentioning i thought about taking my life, went crazy on alcohol, the burning i used to do, or anything like that might be a red flag. What if this prompts something? 

​

I know i'm venting, but most people don't want to hear this stuff. Especially now that my old friends and i don't want, and i'm not telling my new friends this only a few weeks after knowing them. Thank you  ",2.826888694127959,4.672343349693254,3.7670742039146967,88.79173312883438,75.62576687116564,6.456733859187848,25.54878761320479,7.2636822038024595,1.1311744668419514,1914,68,391,22,42,614,231,489,0.108,0.7509999999999999,0.141,0.9375,0,0,6,0,0,0,73.0,0,1,3,4,21,27,4,1,12,0,43,7,0,4,3,71,97,42,0,10,16,1,3,2,4,4,6,5,0,1,39,22,1,3,11,1,1,5,12,15,1,5,24,13,53,12,44,65,11,59,0,4,5,1,31,14,2,15,40,254,92,7,0.05582524357197333,0.0,0.05447738483804744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05966020783776091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04645107471890324,0.3024331404334635,0.3391689065867572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187883768142767,0.0,0.10437813377170684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398352396818478,0.034030550330297435,0.061654595558608034,0.09500634111255167,0.0,0.0,0.04937289134911126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04808850423237381,0.0585317057655083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401065518700118,0.0,0.0961644009740198,0.11332289422681488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057128606284711676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737440937577539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028226920510879282,0.0,0.1072019767926806,0.061153825616748536,0.0,0.04748492366398162,0.0,0.0,0.12939133410960735,0.0,0.11666554265759192,0.0,0.09518031724558623,0.04682356569742961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942700984855179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291910676073388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04962004150177247,0.0,0.0,0.0920402817327311,0.13651507322149145,0.06297330632564184,0.0591108724138765,0.0,0.0,0.039431020483475715,0.05454678833458819,0.0,0.0,0.049403583843229626,0.0,0.06245416801275745,0.0,0.04746062575528984,0.0,0.0,0.03726378357441282,0.0565980348635311,0.05608396059077336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844352287954925,0.11273516403925975,0.06538185056537049,0.0445591768152586,0.0,0.0820759547205029,0.0,0.043055869359806605,0.05391636811092295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713165364490702,0.0,0.058579202312032876,0.0,0.037828629813028494,0.042457613318305006,0.05940199513290442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774043896782343,0.04874444940702311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346515181932167,0.0,0.0,0.053417218734552366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152616103852956,0.0,0.055120693219757766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05310259048909228,0.08878894869928397,0.0,0.16949438058704913,0.13345647422463702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04617921836488576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946010954375406,0.2148849993817072,0.0,0.0,0.07902678946238903,0.05950228186271575,0.0445821116289848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171964345220813,0.0,0.0,0.052614631401964665,0.058023803175279186,0.08394727125767949,0.0,0.04879372347911745,0.05139638392305877,0.06384103124277124,0.0,0.07417562252225476,0.10731168586914404,0.05484801836922066,0.08863801531185736,0.097656445384603,0.0,0.0,0.05334341257127636,0.0,0.037901675920140473,0.0,0.16359945373400195,0.0,0.0,0.04821508646888127,0.0,0.0,0.0987815251228104,0.0,0.0895592861333081,0.0,0.050193598313435055,0.0517505600804017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0406414421958386,0.22677297867659135,0.05689069248382625,0.0,0.061036140252399715,0.3391689065867572,0.035949626557844734
mentalhealth,kmsbuddy,2019/02/23,"I purposely stay up for days on end to punish myself/feel ""dead""? I do this every day and I honestly feel like shit 24/7, but for some reason I keep doing it for months on end. I've had a history of depression, anxiety, adhd, and bipolar disorder. I can't find any information on this, is something seriously wrong with me? What should I do?",2.7824378109452748,4.805715925373137,5.144104477611943,78.07098258706469,76.31343283582089,9.242786069651741,26.092039800995025,9.725611199111238,2.7492308457711445,265,10,51,8,6,93,52,67,0.297,0.652,0.051,-0.9592,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,0,7,2,1,1,0,11,9,3,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,7,2,10,7,1,10,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,6,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747895260428816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548795052548967,0.0,0.174914497778025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29491708330259125,0.0,0.19693351589833394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620495236550585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050271423839108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19264514466845006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312218094382785,0.16334561994616095,0.0,0.0,0.2089794171602935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032321552048206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117054824746926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825040299088464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23508742372137476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347030860011306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602380096345108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437075144754256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24998984187540024,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CallyBookish,2019/02/23,"My friend showed me a photo of a dead body and I didn't react We were hanging out and he suddenly gagged. He passed me his phone and there was a bloated corpse on the phone.

I nodded. ""Nice practical effects.""

It was a photo of someone who had died from a disease of some sort.

I didn't react at all. Once I knew it was a dead body I was a bit concerned on why he had it on his phone, but I still hadn't reacted to it.

I don't know if this is a problem, or of this is just me not being grossed out easily.

Summary: I was shown a dead body and didn't care. ",-0.06890243902439153,1.5813867642276451,2.4140040650406505,96.01173780487808,83.79674796747966,5.726016260162603,20.006097560975608,6.816661863887847,0.099287804878049,424,12,105,5,12,146,69,123,0.201,0.7290000000000001,0.07,-0.9516,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,10,0,16,3,3,4,1,22,19,7,4,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,3,1,0,2,6,2,0,0,13,0,15,3,12,5,3,10,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,4,2,73,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470312223412924,0.7540139966744255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307001334758123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23483537492575665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481775365812766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435357753516307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409730778814429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165124484595432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172015396308967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070169834665128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20417594873756106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IrreversibleDetails,2019/02/23,"I don’t want to be here... or anywhere. I’ve been experiencing a strange feeling lately where I’m not satisfied with where I am, nor am I excited to go anywhere else. Its this overwhelming sense of apathy-induced sadness because I have never felt so indifferent before. I don’t know what to do. I’m on autopilot hoping for something to happen that’ll snap me out of this. I’m so loved, supported, and knowledgeable about my mental health yet I feel .. nothing. ? ",4.391509740259739,6.233680715909095,5.806038961038965,75.82727272727277,71.38636363636364,9.119480519480518,31.88961038961039,9.606745405546679,3.296147402597404,365,17,65,9,7,123,65,88,0.129,0.722,0.149,0.4089,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,1,0,9,2,0,0,1,13,22,5,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,4,8,4,11,18,0,8,0,2,0,1,1,4,0,2,3,44,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229557193236654,0.0,0.22654803284705385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240680666323398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26923480012746304,0.0,0.2556292209056426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513085925650725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354324532077769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28299742514460346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264433361380727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463168635206257,0.0,0.3003268729830979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402892394934873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683042232475192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20533834672000129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25546153135350164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049622091670451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021225327087824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703344945991873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Saskatchemoose,2019/02/23,"Someone I love is dying from Anorexia. How do I help? I’ve read as many resources as I could get my hands on. She’s such a wonderful human being but there is a huge psychological obstacle standing in between her and her recovery. She wants to gain weight and live a normal life desperately but when it comes down to actually eating anything she just gets a panic attack and shuts down. She was recently sent to the ER after vomiting and passing out. And due to a phobia she wouldn’t even let them give her fluids intravenously. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been supportive and have told her many times how much I don’t want her to die, how much I love her, etc. I feel like I’m at the end of my rope and I want to know if there were any ideas any of you individuals have come up with that might help encourage her or alleviate anxiety. She doesn’t have a family for support and can’t afford seeing a doctor. I don’t want her to die ",3.074062500000004,4.48836703125,4.828041666666668,83.24612500000002,74.0,8.245000000000001,24.25833333333333,8.841846274778883,1.6061495833333337,738,22,156,15,15,251,118,192,0.14400000000000002,0.662,0.194,0.7717,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,1,9,8,1,1,9,0,20,8,1,3,0,33,41,18,3,8,5,0,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,3,12,2,0,5,1,0,4,6,2,1,0,5,4,27,6,24,31,3,20,0,0,1,2,25,9,0,4,7,107,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.12134097907021404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911521374723235,0.0,0.0951221704937555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023238188951334,0.0,0.0,0.1414582854998674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21422122970569196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927788851416418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3871456797648037,0.0,0.0,0.1272704843483347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723408620394447,0.0,0.0,0.11013112515502764,0.0,0.1386754824604244,0.0821274788043977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172196569012337,0.0,0.06287163345137473,0.08883077221903653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992832908476126,0.11928128111232128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668918671071686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036828285222105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667148833164894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714929683270768,0.08782724511146145,0.06074778296839301,0.0,0.10979728077556826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22444909767373145,0.0,0.0,0.2521288782201065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190843387082196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18281304679942728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182988784030675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588989696217014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437680044219902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277386115720967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908539291926756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535554868897558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282206269395707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250549153385367,0.0,0.0,0.11881520979003422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29336324930877783,0.0,0.0,0.15141646018894028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484484359074014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amh1996,2019/02/23,"Am I bipolar? I (22F) have been noticing recently that I have these really dramatic mood swings. My boyfriend who also has bipolar depression alerted to me of these Swings. I'll be totally happy one hour and then the next I'm bitchy or sad or something. I don't know if it's just hormones or if it's a mental illness. I was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder, ADHD, OCD, and PTSD starting in 2016. I just don't know what to do, is this just mood swings? Am I being dramatic? ",2.498020833333332,4.638550260416668,4.303333333333335,83.20833333333336,77.64583333333334,8.016666666666666,28.375,8.841846274778883,2.5327375,379,17,73,9,9,128,66,96,0.193,0.7659999999999999,0.041,-0.928,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,13,4,0,0,1,14,17,9,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,9,1,5,13,2,6,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,5,5,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797661249250034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18616060358882688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4010001938875624,0.2362750773497223,0.0,0.0,0.2667953936496769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478073198611763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292494412436993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558685642951686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23459570805724564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475728439518867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26503085757542044,0.0,0.0,0.15774327855090006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721168960752195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913005308602825,0.0,0.22985021946230666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17921169485342725,0.0,0.0,0.1647686543864138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shjtposts,2019/02/23,"feeling extremely down i’ve been off my meds for a month or two and i haven’t really felt the effect till now, i feel like shit and im constantly crying and i don’t know what to do. i am such an emotional wreck and no one cares about me. i just want to stay in my room all day, i am completely useless. sorry for venting guys but i’ve just been keeping it for really long. take care. ",-0.6899233296823652,1.4596221325301215,1.8539320920043807,95.21009857612269,92.73493975903614,5.90974808324206,17.184008762322016,7.348242739294969,0.277684337349398,299,8,70,6,11,102,61,83,0.136,0.716,0.147,0.2287,0,2,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,1,0,3,0,7,1,1,1,1,16,16,7,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,3,9,3,10,13,1,11,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,7,45,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053130492668004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084037479104294,0.21479685396710504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21833656196512455,0.12818847446648873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235864758534566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20100545335220776,0.14199940944212672,0.19084779313032466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19681089185103529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21470280867699856,0.0,0.0,0.1766735222422683,0.0,0.0,0.10923731802542896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710766990925357,0.0,0.0,0.17590281879677214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207856779111922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15865417435990148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468987667871846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546708632376561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20403179232715332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225037356512191,0.0,0.21185951079389392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494482838672312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941667845848448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723811218018045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,twihg,2019/02/23,"how do i love myself? recently something was brought to my attention. there’s truly no way to explain it but it’s really living for someone else. i’ve experienced small but powerful spurts of depression and suicidal thoughts. the reason why i’ve never gone through with this plan is because of this artist i really love. but i don’t want to live for someone, i want to live for myself. so i’m the time being before i get a professional therapist, how do i practice self love? it’s not that i disgust myself but that i’m constantly disappointed in myself. i have moments where i love who i am but it’s mostly disappointment. my end goal would be to have a crush on myself. 
thank y’all!",2.15422222222222,4.73600560740741,4.090370370370368,81.7666666666667,81.81481481481481,7.451851851851853,25.296296296296298,8.447377352677275,2.1360962962962966,547,22,102,13,15,185,83,135,0.149,0.618,0.233,0.9227,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,3,5,9,1,0,4,0,11,4,0,3,1,19,25,9,1,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,4,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,4,1,18,5,14,18,1,13,0,3,0,4,8,4,0,1,6,71,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481508189167,0.0,0.13235216482518444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808231616405914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396544376917496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299328092317094,0.0,0.13776131660603858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126266599902365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4120311475465206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5615197913041394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996120367270675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19928442973862665,0.15991991459515942,0.15357591901486226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226101520063282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635752441231151,0.1197414594587307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013433334771325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431993401018248,0.0,0.1805926741283249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348052850950472,0.09069599498607936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348176962558624,0.12345955485068286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034968264977504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049038604483384,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bigbrowncow,2019/02/23,"How do I deal with paranoid thoughts (help) Hi. I have been dealing with a paranoid thought. I've been diagnosed with cyclothymia as the main with social anxiety, persistive depression, and mild dissociation. I have a persecutory fear that first hit my brain when I was high as hell two months ago. It went away but then a month ago, after a week and a half of hypomania I cracked again. The paranoid thought too root and it got to the point where i seriously considered killing myself instead of living with this fear. It's gotten better with time but still, occasionally, the idea takes root again.

I'm not schizophrenic and i know that the thoughts are irrational but my brain just tells stories to expand or justify the fear.

It has taken me a while and I am finally seeing someone in a week. I'm on an antipsychotic now and it's definitely helping but the thought does come back every once and a while. It hurts when it does. I want to know if you have any advice or resources to look at to help.

Thank you.",3.2942841559858214,5.811225715025909,4.023392418871012,84.30919280065451,76.8238341968912,7.379220070902645,27.25634033269703,8.371475516178862,2.0021046632124344,805,33,156,16,19,256,117,193,0.181,0.7170000000000001,0.102,-0.9403,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,2,0,3,12,10,2,3,16,0,10,4,2,3,0,35,30,22,1,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,14,0,0,8,0,0,2,1,8,0,3,12,2,15,2,20,17,1,29,1,2,2,0,10,7,1,3,20,105,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994470235825776,0.1994688891525506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651151584027134,0.0,0.08607080691595166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570803360896047,0.08651421501221193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950706746411313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511995545746351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691848915761836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23198834003634514,0.0969057844689104,0.11419656184728587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969187258776708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947955901922778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37981934676956863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232505872160947,0.0,0.09570202136126536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998553373826296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262417803843685,0.11887432483039626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044563220456135,0.12701151905790806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447704066688578,0.0,0.12366649354244218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993495050047334,0.0,0.09448112278295057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961083065397976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982082128397688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635950875521916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896569083514063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469106198921836,0.09533042656263034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985163858826482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845944662770543,0.0,0.09833980148600753,0.10358525301426016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4466068690992738,0.06560622123909762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990715373673317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636205696428467,0.0,0.18049949443492164,0.0,0.0,0.10429906640091607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwthrowwaythrow,2019/02/23,"The noise hurts and I seem to hope the alcohol helps. So there's something weird I've come to realize about myself. I really hate the loud music in bars. It really messes with my mind. Thinking back to my time in college I definitely went to those types of bars with friends, and then got black-out drunk mostly because it was the only way to tolerate being there.  


I used to think that it was just how everyone was and that's why bars had music like that (made people drink more), but I've realized that my behavior in bars is very different from others. Most people seem to be able to function normally even with the painfully loud music.  


I'm not really sure what my question is. I've just recognized there is something different about me, and I'm hoping someone may have some insightful comments about it.",5.950064516129032,6.796040812903229,6.289838709677423,77.57475806451615,66.6774193548387,10.070967741935485,30.338709677419352,10.125756701596842,3.0243419354838714,646,23,118,15,10,208,95,155,0.095,0.823,0.08199999999999999,-0.4582,2,0,4,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,12,10,1,0,5,0,11,8,0,3,1,32,25,8,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,11,8,7,0,8,6,0,2,1,5,0,0,7,2,10,5,19,15,4,9,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,9,4,76,21,2,0.15254345341353615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302256027254208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729649972956754,0.0,0.0929890733437462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314026779953098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31875088319622497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494345104460229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007535123080676,0.0,0.0,0.1457618068427157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117854693706901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220029348044742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060507907716153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224666134509834,0.0,0.0,0.3030201371878823,0.0,0.0,0.16330092185793635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452502607039807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443403039662884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402540269724693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494601963034029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601617019226652,0.1623169895451475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21150884716986385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17088357903250798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29316972706522315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777396617124895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924957305507245,0.2348708060731709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377039956464027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19548737102541533,0.0,0.0,0.08894931440738985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174856616815336,0.0,0.12586432470898778,0.0,0.1210818930063595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414093095818106,0.13764674008933206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayaccnt277588,2019/02/23,"How do you guys deal with intrusive thoughts? I'm using a throwaway account for this. I was just wondering what other people do to combat intrusive thoughts? Since I was small I've had horrible thoughts of unspeakable violence and what not. As of late the violent ones arent as bad. However, right now I'm in the happiest relationship of my life and the absolute last thing I want to do is fuck it up. That goes without saying. Anyways, I keep having these awful thoughts about cheating on my significant other. Every time I see an attractive person a terrible thought seeps into my head about leaving my dumping my partner and going for them. I dont want to but it wont go away. These thoughts and the ones that come afterward which are me attempting to push them away cause me to have horrible nightmares about dumping my partner or cheating on them. What do I do? Can anyone help? My partner knows about this and knows I would never leave them. But they arent exactly an expert in this field. Sorry for rambling so much. Hope someone can help. ",3.9804545454545455,6.365177045454548,4.612121212121213,81.58818181818184,74.0,8.036363636363637,30.696969696969692,8.841846274778883,2.817230303030304,837,39,149,18,18,267,118,198,0.159,0.735,0.106,-0.909,3,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,5,1,10,10,6,0,8,1,19,3,1,3,2,33,40,12,0,4,6,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,5,16,8,0,1,9,0,1,4,7,8,0,2,9,2,23,2,27,29,1,20,0,0,1,1,16,10,1,3,6,111,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755284594944071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23528617132426186,0.0,0.10454882494523013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862971902391454,0.0,0.10786115050055683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909058672148965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675038798154774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549856389001144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575872961665945,0.0,0.0,0.14232450058484095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398197912496806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850613704845928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678571958467507,0.0,0.0,0.12436618918485115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129634513904196,0.0,0.0,0.13762916021281152,0.10206647855784892,0.14124733924527033,0.26516801915248994,0.0,0.0,0.08844266010452216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204701878235198,0.0,0.0965730932804513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696970865958458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680792486437093,0.10933241691510524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443344547839098,0.0,0.10693244530464248,0.0,0.09957554629025464,0.0,0.0,0.0997796949700542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357867647502716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609378639850464,0.0,0.0,0.14016731111414726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318690830644779,0.0,0.0,0.5964376598255631,0.07301354534463349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081450708653212,0.0,0.0,0.14770943864199892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070224928144195,0.1357897159749001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889487436889441,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thesunstartsfalling,2019/02/24,"For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful, and a little happy. And I wanna help others out too It’s true, I’ve been very sad lately. Not only that, but I just haven’t been feeling much too. I feel like I’ve been a bad person too lately, and I’m just realizing that. I’ve been hateful towards people for no reason, and I’ve gossiped and have been toxic. But I feel like finally, finally I’m starting to see color again. Life has been horrible, and painful, and unfair, but I’m starting to see the reasons why it’s okay, and to keep on living it. I used to think I wouldn’t live past 20, now I can see myself growing old. And man, I wanna help people out. I really wanna help as many people as I can. I am also now seeing other people’s pain. I used to only see happiness in other people, and how I’m was in such a worse place than them, but now I see all their emotions, and I’m so ready to help them deal with the negative ones. 

For everyone seeing this post, I just want to let them know that it does get better. Even if it seems really dark right now, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Just keep breathing, you will get over this, I support you <3",1.94508097165992,3.275633255060729,3.8928967611336014,89.14914271255064,76.77327935222671,6.39748987854251,20.447165991902835,6.961326702584282,0.3371264777327938,902,20,197,9,20,307,127,247,0.156,0.662,0.182,0.2631,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,4,2,18,15,1,0,10,1,16,4,1,5,2,47,47,21,0,7,10,0,4,2,0,2,3,0,0,2,13,14,0,2,10,0,0,1,5,6,0,2,7,13,23,9,27,37,2,32,0,1,8,0,14,12,0,3,20,130,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156312870354571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471833221028844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914442968164598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225769250807224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831112226699535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066140305822298,0.07925937177069008,0.0,0.0,0.05910565578971627,0.0,0.0,0.08550914985663295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809902936173017,0.12785978877588336,0.0,0.1960583842281101,0.0,0.07611802953342674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350706009747453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905222349200682,0.0,0.08835038858893395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399263641601967,0.0,0.0,0.08888128818386343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908121959756674,0.0,0.0,0.049179994705779946,0.0,0.20189161615305026,0.0,0.0,0.09150704102822234,0.0632076741437619,0.08743815352398136,0.08968999333941867,0.1580382200608858,0.07919362955380516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907262886166118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578361575990352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939020873906153,0.0,0.060639052127218436,0.1361185662780348,0.1904420380610445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542595316728675,0.31019685644002754,0.07813704125987211,0.09349540057352207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570429709417858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146559795877518,0.18401612697535946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764218438276699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4991697114112546,0.08146606737706838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266794390741079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154936486196768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057339982489819176,0.0,0.0,0.10436177240192272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457695169799054,0.0,0.07383656690506094,0.05278205141391989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074855807925173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119541691388873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rustisstardust,2019/02/24,"I think I might have an actual eating disorder Ever since 8th grade, I've gone through long periods of starving myself as a way to self harm. I would go up to 4 days without food and end up almost passing out in school. You can imagine how that in itself has screwed up my body. I can't ever eat anything but tiny meals otherwise I get nauseous. The sight of food most days makes me wanna puke but recently I've been able to manage a meal or so a day on most days which is a huge improvement, even though I only really eat 2 foods. 

A few hours ago, I had a huge panic attack as the idea of me actually gaining weight set in. I've never considered myself to having an eating disorder because I never did it to look a certain way, just to punish myself. But now I'm kind of terrified of gaining the weight I've lost starving myself.

Could I have an eating disorder? Does anyone know steps I can take to improve? ",4.532765765765767,5.068416578378379,5.921959459459464,80.0638400900901,69.70270270270271,8.761261261261259,28.38963963963964,8.841846274778883,2.165801801801801,717,24,140,12,12,243,119,185,0.219,0.667,0.113,-0.9724,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,3,8,8,3,1,13,0,14,14,1,2,5,26,24,10,0,3,6,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,2,12,0,4,0,0,4,4,6,0,0,5,4,18,2,25,16,3,32,0,1,2,1,2,10,1,5,15,92,22,3,0.0984407591474485,0.0,0.19212796135536955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726179340868429,0.0,0.09857420054797206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883206765755198,0.0,0.0810083570820793,0.0,0.0,0.1119905748996336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000857308219206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934549153222588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859693598176261,0.0,0.0,0.2539445833971616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384649154711604,0.0,0.08614617171050162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5036473618515133,0.0,0.0,0.08718929383932485,0.0,0.0,0.06501919299997873,0.17809060497737753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357104870132246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0514312336620425,0.0,0.055946151991679766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969443183793557,0.0,0.0,0.11112763482708372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025109021799162,0.05410046677917738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711697409545642,0.0826654447451305,0.0,0.10745971726852127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570997113594416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443008899127014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184716426962855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486863324213211,0.0,0.11549902061309135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306367102955583,0.0,0.09719837367643333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962730375852367,0.0,0.0,0.10269518092261756,0.0,0.0,0.08143121322550567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401519977524608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307686359804537,0.09671754605133427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627538514213926,0.0,0.23974864909334415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948933789514582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992949089498743,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yes89898,2019/02/24,"Really need some help I have a lot to talk about so I'll put a tl;dr at the end.
     I am a male senior in high school and have been accepted to UGA, and I defunately plan on attending. While I am happy about this, I have a lot of unresolved problems, and the thought of leaving home with these problems terrifies me. First off, I have been addicted to pornography since early middle school. I have been trying to break the addiction for years but with no success. I recently told confessed this to a friend and they agreed to help me, but I haven't had any success so far. Anyways I have grown up to be a very socially awkward and anxious person. While I still partake in some clubs and sports, I only really talk to my friends and am otherwise silent. I dont really know if these traits grew out of my porn addiction or if they were there before. I really cant  remember. Anyways I tend to beat myself up for this a lot and throughout high school I would go through cycles of depression and self hate. I tend to only be sad for a few days (usually after  relapse from trying to break my addiction) and then I go back to being ""normal"". Even during these normal times, I dont feel than I am a very happy person, but am instead distracted. I have gone through this cycle for a while, but for the past couple of months, I have been really depressed, with very few moments of happiness of even okay. I tend to be a little on the lazy side, but my productivity and motivation have seriously gone down recently, and my grades have began to suffer. I am terrified of the thought of going to college and not having the work ethic to study and keep my grades up, and I will be without my parents and most of my friends will be elsewhere.
I truly don't know what to do about this. My thoughts aren't always very clear to me, and sometimes I have trouble understanding myself, which makes it hard to focus on fixing my problems.  I think that breaking my porn addiction will really help, but I feel that it is not the soul source of my self hatred and anxiety. With it being late February I feel like I am running out of time, which adds to my stress and anxiety. I guess posted this here in hope that I may at least get some sort of support from others. Thank you if you took the time to read this, and any comments are extremely appreciated. Hopefully my condition will improve, but I am really lacking in hope right now.

tl;dr: I am a male high school senior who suffers from porn addiction, social anxiety, and major self hatred.",6.088969739619984,6.2555087836734735,6.700879662209713,77.11520408163265,66.26530612244898,10.105559465165376,31.38634764250528,9.921728534948242,2.9326136523574937,1984,71,377,41,29,652,221,490,0.157,0.6859999999999999,0.157,0.4548,1,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,2,2,7,15,30,1,3,21,1,49,9,0,2,1,81,81,38,0,14,14,1,4,1,3,6,6,0,1,7,21,28,0,1,14,3,0,11,10,14,0,1,14,4,58,16,70,54,12,65,2,5,0,3,26,24,0,18,27,282,79,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4180946594977808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053186719516675335,0.0,0.0,0.08693584369963428,0.0,0.14669631365233265,0.07221162175915431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915068138108617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439137466288289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072647564638672,0.0,0.041223235259865085,0.0,0.11010873382468543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982797578144189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661431677727476,0.0,0.0,0.08443736672273215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695990758771447,0.04566459727801017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437048187733645,0.0,0.0,0.14815374319801314,0.0,0.03339566162968086,0.0,0.10898195289309548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041529689852394,0.0,0.0,0.20413269598109235,0.057259936000875734,0.06310795525153172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285330700994297,0.20260557400789492,0.06411716338509159,0.19046151738516412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681520278553578,0.0,0.0,0.07025773071815708,0.0,0.07210475970358067,0.0676822530046526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031228176627166093,0.0640648238969167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302798194065762,0.0,0.0,0.04266722389301015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0510204866842973,0.0,0.0,0.04739601175456673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525643142975024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722837133794804,0.0,0.0,0.07097580774754962,0.0,0.06101905510436904,0.0,0.1116252906652801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121787387996665,0.0,0.0,0.18348897075395454,0.0,0.0642574469086715,0.0,0.0,0.06393748878953577,0.0,0.28664237822240113,0.0,0.12622695460051067,0.0,0.07240911599486129,0.054587493926656114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25876258362844484,0.0,0.0,0.20004809931022724,0.0,0.0,0.052875442592783865,0.0,0.0,0.13031717028917764,0.0,0.0,0.06321870341123573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104674716399996,0.0,0.07322036291611297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725358753468257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275325666944893,0.0,0.05884912399614834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04095747745861482,0.0,0.1522364752840053,0.11181713235049646,0.0,0.0,0.06107848181467775,0.0710176842165466,0.08679522782090049,0.0,0.0,0.06654317317885325,0.0,0.0,0.07039905989588663,0.21096340761335136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161678320189307,0.0,0.04653466039061493,0.0,0.0,0.045407069781963794,0.0,0.0,0.04116250734847274
mentalhealth,forrest-gold,2019/02/24,"trying to cope with past present and future: wtf should I do with my life I’m currently in my jr year of highschool. I passed all my classes in semester one (barely) but in doing so, I lost every last bit of motivation I once had. I’ve been burned out for a while, but thanks to deteriorating mental health (substance dependence, drastic mood swings, completely unstable sense of reality), I can no longer participate in my education. I want a good future! I want to pursue journalism and be able to provide for myself. but right now the only future I see for myself is either a) suicide or b) living in a van. which I wouldn’t mind, but I feel like I’m letting everyone around me down. 
so I guess what I’m trying to say : how do I regain motivation? or how do I deal with really shitty failing grades? and parents? and myself? oh god help. ",3.7948135913166574,5.503169104294479,5.6607361963190215,76.81030202925909,72.68098159509202,8.450967437470505,26.648890986314306,9.057496981413335,2.2660319962246342,656,23,122,14,13,226,107,163,0.16699999999999998,0.6890000000000001,0.14400000000000002,-0.8532,2,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,0,4,6,6,0,0,5,0,12,2,0,5,1,29,22,15,1,4,7,1,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,3,21,3,22,15,3,20,0,2,1,0,4,9,0,4,11,82,23,6,0.18286956975106888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627926876786782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964620736484764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19173526464483465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885304966374902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407549961514594,0.17473971060039295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246434908191932,0.13064205716923136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338231891922555,0.0,0.0,0.2014514479783937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19438180127878493,0.0,0.0,0.12257361787904958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906310662346448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699652486288304,0.12916618521085835,0.08934083468161183,0.0,0.1614771804160222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19962373749100992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18428951492724405,0.0,0.18464613519416545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19475012356777074,0.12391715316498796,0.13908054821409954,0.0,0.0,0.20305501605404275,0.0,0.17456969645051962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171509290254872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616961338505925,0.0,0.14542522171313335,0.0,0.0,0.1457233708885921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000296283754606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683617305252409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483128679743093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21572242045271567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776200730533212
mentalhealth,Wonk05monk,2019/02/24,"Help me. I’m so Fucking tired, tired of feeling unwanted, uncared for, unloved. Going out of my way for people that don’t care is the only thing that makes me feel useful. Nothing makes me happy and I’m so sick and tired that I don’t wanna do anything. Not even self harming helps, burning stopped, cutting doesn’t help much. I’ve carved Fucking words in my legs but I haven’t told  a soul because I have nobody. Help me. I hate how absolutely fine I am with the fact I’m coming up with a plan to kill myself. And I don’t know what to do. I know this is a far shot but tonight’s Been horrible. ",0.480125714285716,2.664388744000004,2.2409428571428585,94.8989,85.56,4.851428571428572,21.728571428571424,6.18269132825596,0.2027371428571434,463,16,103,4,14,152,79,125,0.247,0.614,0.139,-0.9503,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,1,4,10,5,0,5,0,12,7,1,4,1,23,29,8,1,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,4,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,2,2,14,3,12,27,1,9,1,0,0,2,6,4,2,0,2,60,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935876986631034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582511576527457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027161994631944,0.0,0.0,0.13541028400423874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382635973786596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15896586445997504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29065001403412283,0.0,0.0,0.08933800981872184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733787855471965,0.0,0.1551983326477349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214601912974459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391388965317192,0.0,0.1727814285791943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098588674125057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555701841876273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508336335000256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195545082831542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897979212304436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398952841233214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314227483042444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104433921082202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5420204285372698,0.0,0.15020734708502387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576672130394224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477472887080135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RumbIeroar,2019/02/24,"[Question] Why do i forget common repetitive things? Examples- I daily forget which drawers have socks, underwear, and undershirts, despite using the same system for 10+ years. In high school and college, I'd forget which classes I had on which days, what times those classes were, and even which classes I was taking that semester. In sports, I'd forget which half of the court/field my team was supposed to be on after timeouts, halves, etc. Is there a name for this? I'm not worried, but it's annoying to not be able to remember simple things that it seems like are easy for other people. ",4.762838383838382,6.8479650818181845,4.945757575757575,81.37308080808081,70.9090909090909,7.4343434343434325,27.676767676767675,8.167268648758528,2.0261919191919184,469,17,80,7,9,147,79,110,0.102,0.82,0.078,0.2626,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,0,10,0,0,1,0,16,14,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,15,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,5,1,12,8,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,7,56,20,6,0.2582008278175926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651817352081108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879621753230441,0.17053921162351646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27280335079843515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614388224409342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17900394349259394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28924401919113313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924912046740776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613130224357104,0.0,0.2350563363002355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19413488902933115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430743139425669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055897909649255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22300261392521667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329860865356862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622154740152056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627286766786092
mentalhealth,jellashi,2019/02/24,Being with people make me uncomfortable Does anyone feel the same way? Like i am so used to my own space.. i can't be myself when i'm around them. I almost always feel guarded. ,0.22500000000000145,2.6292803888888865,2.2957777777777792,91.42700000000002,92.33333333333331,3.9911111111111115,12.755555555555556,5.6839178017228535,-0.9564377777777776,138,2,28,1,5,46,32,36,0.076,0.85,0.073,-0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,9,9,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,3,7,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37047163848367776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078447819962387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586917138922437,0.0,0.0,0.3293518498004113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237633498955357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741360234905652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074871534267006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24695793154925286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564907013480889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31953540090865323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936650648264739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,temp_larios,2019/02/24,"Arrested development I'm 29(m) and I still keep relieving the past and mentally berate myself for perceived (and real) fuckups from so far back that I remember and cringe over events from 20 years ago constantly.

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I was raised by narcissists in an extremely toxic house that crippled me while at the same time taking away tools I could use to get the fuck out or get better. I had no father figures growing up, too.

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I have severe social anxiety, major depression and OCD. The only real job I ever had lasted 5 months, although I did work from home in a crowdsourcing company for 2 years or so. All the while still trapped in this shithole.

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I also tried going to college several times for several majors -- in my country you choose a major and take a national entrance exam for public universities, which happens to be the most prestigious ones over here. I never managed to even complete even one full semester in any of them. I pretty much never attended classes. Everyone communes to college over here.

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While I did have some childhood friends that I went out with for drinks (the only way I was able to socialize), As they started getting jobs and graduating, I started feeling more and more shame of my own situation to the point that I eventually stopped talking to pretty much everyone excepting my brother and a GF that I dated for 7 years or so. I broke up with her last year because I was dragging her down. Best thing I ever did to her, I think.

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I'm convinced that by this point there's not even a point in trying anything anymore. I certainly wouldn't hire myself. My CV is empty and the social anxiety turned into a fullblown agoraphobia a long while ago. I certainly wouldn't date myself either. I have zero social skills, too.

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I've never heard about such severe circumstances being healed. Most people manage to grow the fuck up much, much earlier. I never could and doubt I can by this point. For years my mind has been riddled with suicidal thoughts and ideation. When I wake up literally the first thing that crosses my mind is ""I should kill myself"". I'm very close to convincing myself to follow through too.

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I'm too deep in the abyss and there's no way out. I'm a literal man-child that freeloads in this shithole my family calls a 'home'.",5.640283687943263,7.0936491867612315,6.116565011820331,76.32350000000002,67.77068557919621,9.138817966903074,31.83049645390071,9.473421319101043,3.0859951773049645,1798,75,309,37,30,581,231,423,0.122,0.797,0.081,-0.9571,2,1,1,0,0,1,53.0,0,1,2,5,23,15,3,2,22,0,23,5,1,1,9,60,48,27,2,5,6,2,1,0,2,3,1,1,2,0,15,21,1,2,7,1,0,7,9,7,0,4,12,2,47,8,56,29,18,77,0,2,0,2,18,31,2,7,37,232,62,12,0.07443469314993538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319637286900549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059525397219489386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050618143816345114,0.0,0.1138846730459722,0.0,0.07381921440603616,0.0,0.0,0.061253410215510874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993384445462879,0.05723568445289366,0.0,0.0453746980663569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811461820522833,0.06583143721993953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600614400369056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804335958840686,0.08043745988588517,0.0,0.11886009134823396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411049213981503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291766170329472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749023844566572,0.1346608828414448,0.0,0.14225107826692127,0.0,0.0,0.07017040418371444,0.0,0.0376364173688933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633141119683544,0.0,0.0,0.05750805928440032,0.1376273487848985,0.11666716497653053,0.0,0.04230295146528505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582235332813867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932813252659866,0.0,0.0,0.08588764210182184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477298949794814,0.06616097533922384,0.08235095955311186,0.0,0.0,0.12134841916670308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587236111449919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501266346846461,0.0,0.1503156422712462,0.0,0.05941306192388274,0.0,0.2188722561230616,0.0,0.22963449644202766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008777489267922,0.1132218765925191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105633707270118,0.0516036440282542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814593777829096,0.0,0.0,0.15145368537742498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944595326563164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431999716263687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33636006506547683,0.0,0.0,0.08366771379191576,0.0,0.30350718353766803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537051784957474,0.0,0.11888728420150255,0.06223073643827411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141947306646401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119312514737835,0.0598277868178539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890220531740533,0.04769474582929939,0.0,0.05909283192514118,0.0868069363273465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107254125444834,0.08096357168692335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428767591281137,0.0,0.06141641728038912,0.0,0.11816558954527935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900170627926976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418934312606973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396675097564068
mentalhealth,rachelv24,2019/02/24,"How do I know? Hey guys. I’ve never actually posted on reddit before. But I figured that this social media platform would help me the most. 

So, I’ve recently seen that not cleaning your room, not doing your laundry, etc., is a sign of mental health issue. Is that true? Some people say it’s just laziness. Which I understand. But I’ve been seeing these things that say the opposite. I feel like I have no energy to do it when I get home. I don’t have a desire. I feel happy when I’m at school or whenever I’m talking to someone, but as soon as I’m by myself, I feel completely different... 

So I was just wondering, do I need to do something?",0.7699491094147568,3.073981465648856,3.309129770992368,86.89280407124686,85.48854961832059,6.241424936386768,20.9470737913486,7.554174236665415,1.0025415776081417,496,16,100,9,15,172,86,131,0.014,0.885,0.101,0.8014,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,0,8,3,0,0,4,0,13,1,0,1,2,24,26,11,0,3,8,0,3,1,0,1,1,2,3,1,10,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,7,15,3,9,22,3,10,0,0,2,0,9,4,0,4,6,70,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.1798286824762273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680695025970656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19321190916540354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925312208669596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551860957198145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795293831149999,0.13164819382454168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627761542178682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824641281184046,0.0,0.19616728879950174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958788280374687,0.0,0.0,0.12351761564358538,0.0,0.18484579424649986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923382875801683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127433397633848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900288909671367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18570881618577725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663975407443574,0.1421265041055171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277551176060846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648732292569946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181952229688576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930904211079205,0.0,0.18649910868950675,0.14684565591810958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878481484074859,0.15613809660572633,0.14186615762704194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811562409898407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224260719350376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19183982959526155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998415601015059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130905758070466,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LeviCA86,2019/02/24,"Have a friend who needs help, won't listen to anyone. Friend is having mental episode, delusions of grandeur. He keeps thinking that he's a martyr similar to Rosa Parks, etc. He keeps doing erratic things, then when the cops come he feels he's doing a service to the black community. 

When we (all friends and family members) Tell him that something isn't right and he needs to be evaluated by a mental health professional, he ""edits the depression"" out of our text messages and sends them back to us. 

We was arrested last week for destroying a hotel room.

​

I think he may be bipolar, or experiencing a psychotic episode. It there any possible way to get through to him, or do we just have to wait it out?",5.908922056384746,7.047779179104477,6.155472636815922,77.4496434494196,66.91044776119404,9.53764510779436,32.79933665008292,9.725611199111238,3.132332669983416,566,24,104,12,9,181,91,134,0.07400000000000001,0.816,0.111,0.6369,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,5,0,1,0,5,5,1,0,9,0,13,2,0,0,1,22,24,8,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,2,2,1,1,0,6,9,0,3,3,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,4,9,3,15,19,2,13,0,1,1,0,25,4,0,3,6,65,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18311088624601374,0.2053528888506715,0.11492545436315695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816837893272625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995018279218354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557810390115636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555902060230555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847911406261755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593176868144202,0.0,0.08545122441500443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3917057804479734,0.0,0.0882952628793655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963856435684605,0.0,0.0,0.11327680162937293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30042903902432905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775714751200402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34062349118855345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506219738185171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19052154215525144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432464850153434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010407067612745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771301082775662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122757575313412,0.2165761097465426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20328558858976664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341439357975464,0.13556120397326532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053528888506715,0.0
mentalhealth,Im_A_Trap_,2019/02/24,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me I’m 15 years old and I’m in a sort of crisis right now. I don’t know if being me is actually me. I’m constantly running away from my past self as I had severe depression and had attempted suicide. That landed me in a mental institution where I had to lie my way to get out. Surprisingly the trauma of attempted suicide and my time at the mental institution “knocked” me out of my depression but from then on I’ve been suffering from anxiety. I’ve also had many nightmares and unpleasant flashes of the time of when I had my depression and when I was in the mental institution. I have flashes of the numbness of what I had back then and I’m afraid of it. I didn’t know was I was thinking back then. I thought that I wasn’t amount to nothing and that it was just better to just die. I didn’t have any motivation to get up or do anything. My anxiety that came after was horrible. I didn’t know how to control it and had constant attacks that made me have to leave school on multiple occasions. I was convinced I can control it without medicine and I did for the most part.l, but then last Friday I had the worst panic attack I’ve ever had. It was in class and this student was causing conflict with a sub which triggered my anxiety. I tried to ignore it but the memories of my trauma flashes in my head and my hearts started beating faster to the point where it felt like it was going to explode. I started repeatedly hitting myself in my head saying things like “Stop” and “I don’t want to go back” multiple times. The sub came to see what was wrong and I told them that it was nothing. I didn’t want help from other people I was afraid that if I told anyone that I would be sent back to that place. I don’t know how to improve myself. I have no motivation to improve myself. I don’t have the confidence to see myself improving. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m scared what other people are going to think of me now. I’m scared everyone is going to think I’m unhinged or going to be afraid of me. I need to improve myself but I don’t know what to do. I feel like maybe if I can talk with people that don’t even know me, that can’t judge me, maybe I’ll feel better. ",2.1589516129032242,3.8457493440860233,3.9665456989247296,87.32981854838711,77.06451612903227,6.97258064516129,24.74327956989247,7.822599999999999,1.2706569892473119,1755,61,373,27,40,592,169,465,0.213,0.6859999999999999,0.101,-0.9954,0,0,0,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,1,9,17,27,2,6,14,0,55,4,3,9,1,68,99,32,3,7,12,0,3,3,0,1,1,1,0,1,32,21,0,5,18,0,0,9,17,20,0,0,36,6,63,7,58,58,3,57,0,4,2,0,8,19,0,7,31,268,95,5,0.0,0.0,0.0736953822441213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060392297386113764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05135532289214032,0.0,0.1733148545893488,0.0,0.0,0.05280444866943616,0.0,0.062145476358746135,0.0,0.0,0.1718269046680172,0.07095232840000852,0.2322769532360341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335803512333444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274660678737355,0.0,0.07757853353487341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321782719062533,0.1694013439572724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19513250248131805,0.0,0.07837651405443716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049879405866123966,0.06831101061661189,0.0,0.07216137836522064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636907325150645,0.05395059248643674,0.07250981926306042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891083416016295,0.0,0.21459515975857832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550079987440144,0.0,0.0,0.08949005315991665,0.05061860974230194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735280482523991,0.061557840518289476,0.0,0.07996342611295301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068390383799663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145764390188619,0.0,0.07656413438225394,0.15173742006112845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283153389069067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05599617796003956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492450746813798,0.0,0.07924419864820563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860495279143321,0.0,0.08177942031866227,0.0720911684778728,0.15706552641068866,0.0,0.0789009946597013,0.0,0.07138960527427887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449257883001293,0.0,0.060055521505847774,0.15121483686674753,0.07642898181650218,0.12035729333894672,0.0,0.07878250057234558,0.08531466410607977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069050850049063,0.0,0.0,0.06313703590551789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652104567171422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069909084577872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017128549052008,0.1451680496943452,0.0,0.059953432412246176,0.1321067281885042,0.0,0.0,0.1443227567304413,0.0,0.05127225734001793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908580167989945,0.05994324908332953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279735635490332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053646335757560684,0.2477036131586605,0.0,0.04863158315307888
mentalhealth,Irising27,2019/02/24,"I don't know how to help my struggling friend Hello. I have a friend whom I have known for years and really care about. However, she has been struggling with some mental and physical ailments for the past two-three years, and in that time, I feel like I have become more of a therapist than a friend to her. I am NOT a licensed therapist and I don't know how to help her. I encourage her to talk to professionals (and she does), but she still reaches out to me to discuss her issues. She has been having the same issues for years seemingly without making any progress. Recently it has been taking a toll on me. I try to give her advice, but she seems to have an excuse for everything and I always leave our conversations feeling drained and slightly annoyed (then I feel bad about being annoyed and my mood only gets worse). She tells me that she's trying to reach out to people more to talk about her problems because it helps her, but I don' t know how much longer I can be a listener. I feel like we've been having the same conversations about the same problems for years, and I have nothing to offer in the way of advice (which she always seems to be asking for). I just don't know how to tell her that our constant discussion about her mental health is negatively impacting mine. I'm not a therapist, and I feel like it's not fair to our friendship that she is sort of treating me like one. I want our friendship to be balanced and healthy, and I feel like it's not heading in that direction. Does anyone have any advice? Am I a bad friend for feeling this way?",5.978090614886732,5.9760404822006485,6.150954692556635,81.5389886731392,66.50809061488673,9.196763754045307,30.758899676375407,8.841846274778883,2.2820627831715212,1235,42,246,18,18,394,137,309,0.11,0.716,0.174,0.9324,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,4,0,0,1,11,21,2,2,14,0,27,2,1,5,0,52,50,20,0,3,9,0,7,5,4,0,1,1,0,0,12,15,0,0,15,0,0,0,9,8,0,1,4,8,49,12,41,42,7,18,0,0,0,0,45,6,0,5,15,178,61,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496981153984954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174600605161408,0.0,0.0,0.1158447892550229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059556827640691375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796277786401767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422362980843722,0.05192231420100058,0.09406986520813287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684229955683274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920446690271638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907565252850108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655042412903758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014717408408753,0.2433981392698595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632261282609691,0.0,0.044500786084148966,0.08170828967037358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741483811258158,0.09053778271015077,0.0,0.0,0.17127442242827348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778025962504202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724134171174536,0.0,0.0,0.09018876451833532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20806271534510376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685543901845669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167413768649897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261393759405302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172837828707273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057717256520436536,0.06477995558523053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813098404327788,0.05905010354522292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300327722938482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456573242260344,0.0,0.08410072492378089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23262226619153645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802142149559527,0.0,0.0,0.17808826385725746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404152375222202,0.13692199739000935,0.1488946265593544,0.0,0.0,0.29668664672577555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049666633772673136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565741410405404,0.0,0.08320427926713328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05023883280267604,0.13521700704528947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082106332219627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680131180916788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21940142459385675
mentalhealth,Unethicalulicus,2019/02/24,"meh, just a rant I guess I can't socialize. I'm wierd. I'm not wierd in a ""my interests are wierd"" way I'm wierd in a ""I dont know how to maintain a conversation"" kind of way. It seems so foreign to me the idea of people not having to consciously think of a sensical response when they speak. I used to be very very shy so maybe I simply never learned the skills to socialize. Anyways, I'm lonely. I've found myself leaning towards darker things, such as crime and hurting people. I've already put a few holes in my walls. When I'm angry it's the only time I feel like I can even be myself, even now as I type this I dont feel like this is me, I feel like this is me pretending to be someone else. I honestly think the root of my problem is lack of interaction with others people but I'm so far behind when I talk to people my own age I feel I'm a 6 year old talking to an adult (16 and Male, btw). I want to socialize more but nothing really interests me. I have no desire to go anywhere because it all seems so pointless. It's all just shallow. I used to want some human interaction but now even stuff like sex doesn't appeal to me. I had a girlfriend but we broke up because I lost pretty much all feelings for her over the course of one or two days, which was wierd to me because I had no reason and we were together like 2 years and I really liked her. I'm constantly an asshole to my own family and stuff even though I really dont do it intentionally. I feel like I'm autistic or something.",1.8458708391936227,3.422896186708865,3.9858368495077374,87.33169010782936,77.63924050632913,7.086544772620723,24.04547585560244,7.921354282810032,1.2176187529301457,1169,39,254,19,27,402,158,316,0.093,0.785,0.122,0.8659,0,2,1,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,1,2,19,16,0,0,15,0,20,1,0,6,4,50,48,22,0,5,10,0,6,7,1,0,0,1,0,3,13,8,0,0,16,1,0,2,10,5,0,2,6,7,40,11,31,39,10,25,0,4,0,1,18,8,0,6,20,166,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999464950274785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563230483787614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787423714070397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841030218515024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184428861301861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565980094354179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23928311666478724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538154721791577,0.0,0.2747701613588094,0.2588135462301891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930557647520608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051473145837012346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977331338436336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695729866201162,0.10224275933807593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431495160874076,0.04977502682917636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097362580568576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886809908551557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098996408545802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657953623131645,0.0,0.06985334069579756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690457320492352,0.0,0.09503821517561538,0.0,0.061372728170981085,0.06888273706586964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25115995955670856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214247901098137,0.0,0.08666347317492389,0.0,0.09104809139606657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17406481520325742,0.09312127534779063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490346180881146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769748146350169,0.0767398573998259,0.06972538376493283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20736247688212334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559383160336792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060170832785539766,0.11606748572829025,0.08898478582832042,0.0,0.05281222631603493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847394907476358,0.0,0.0,0.15644718882077316,0.0,0.14945984116756109,0.10684133013613603,0.14378085719555644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664851037364354
mentalhealth,ScarYaBoi,2019/02/24,"Manipulation Hi! My names Scar and I’m 17. I’m diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety. I was on the watch for Borderline personality disorder for a bit, but my therapist stopped looking Into it. I’ve have three more therapists since then, (8 in total), and I’m seriously thinking that’s what’s wrong with me, I’m manipulating and don’t fully comprehend it until after the fact or am too numb to care, my moods don’t fit bipolar as they are rapid fire one right after the other. I have an extremely short fuse, I know I do. I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m really trying but it seems like I’m just getting worse?",3.277874015748033,4.787018401574802,5.529929133858269,78.03583858267717,73.64566929133858,9.489448818897637,26.87322834645669,9.888512548439397,2.6192274015748023,495,18,101,14,10,174,87,127,0.212,0.675,0.113,-0.8718,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,5,0,10,3,0,2,2,21,23,10,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,8,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,1,3,10,2,14,22,3,13,0,1,2,0,4,8,0,2,6,61,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727789152806276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22445403567266028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20961551134344988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17707673489137987,0.2086723142334857,0.0,0.0,0.2356271039848517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741372669559204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22597679810318344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044223308487717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264613070279566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931496863408968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951565980025466,0.0,0.0,0.194351602829939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24032692352905802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170798058046074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557508572981553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18716391868342885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006844788851175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718847453914958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774180591682548,0.0,0.13173553315591446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958398224022464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20951657720963,0.0,0.2247833983635425,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Responsible_Street,2019/02/24,"What to do if someone close doesn't realize they have mental health problems Reddit, I need your help please.

Someone very close to me is acting strange, he has been having headaches and not sleeping well. It has been getting worst and he just confess to his family that he thinks their neighbors are sending radio active waves  to his house \[not true\]. Which is what is causing the headaches. He freaks out, not full on panic attacks, when he hears cars outside. He went to the doctor's and they think he might have anxiety, but just prescribed him meds for his headaches. The pills worked for a few days. Now he just have headaches at home and he is blaming it on the radio waves the neighbor is sending him. It is very tough for his family because they discuss to move but he mentioned it can happen again. He is legit set in his mind that people are sending him radio waves that is harming his body. Other situations such as the gov is watching him but that's not as bad.

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So how does one get him to see a psychiatrist if he thinks his thoughts are normal? and what mental illness this might be called...

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thank you in advance",4.855901328273244,6.7284107788018455,4.179018704255899,87.83642721604772,70.2442396313364,6.211873136351316,28.893738140417447,6.522977012572876,1.3244661968013012,917,35,170,6,17,272,125,217,0.113,0.826,0.061,-0.8865,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,4,2,10,11,1,1,8,0,26,6,2,2,1,35,38,15,0,5,12,0,0,0,2,2,4,1,3,0,14,8,0,0,6,3,0,8,5,8,1,1,4,3,20,3,18,31,3,22,1,0,2,0,41,9,0,4,4,114,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601381303176647,0.2917364317115135,0.0,0.0,0.09183434905381213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656889345267242,0.0,0.0,0.10023283645222013,0.07317851909282061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334329961229185,0.0,0.0,0.12257970404589212,0.0,0.0,0.12331962216288188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774193069013429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287148225512765,0.1050524774627763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263361071758276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254374607224909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615568907397288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760257247063794,0.1352998118074613,0.0,0.08046385441180061,0.0,0.12041525412700466,0.0,0.0,0.13851619350048364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334329961229185,0.0,0.2419549158344889,0.25469824955329395,0.1212115624638376,0.0,0.0,0.12758918798222635,0.0,0.08901209128287295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761893559659665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134582256706495,0.0,0.0,0.14084732982336798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832243168705654,0.0,0.0,0.13177372366559909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486716856211505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956605858786569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493598089006398,0.1201320255401656,0.0,0.2034280374982494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052161148469504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23076060119622785,0.0,0.09530258301573263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19809993922132305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793516874885556,0.11128322381364016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739443014649438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917364317115135,0.0
mentalhealth,throwacc0909,2019/02/24,"How do you know when it's time to see a doctor? Sometimes I just feel like I'm faking it. I feel like I want to be depressed. And there are few days when I do feel alright. Some days I also feel nothing and my mind is blank, which gives me the indication that I may not actually be depressed. This has been going on for more than a year. Any thoughts? Thank you.",0.6726315789473674,2.747354421052634,2.2439473684210505,95.89513157894736,83.73684210526315,4.852631578947369,20.026315789473685,5.985473137389443,-0.2088368421052631,280,8,65,2,8,91,56,76,0.12,0.738,0.142,-0.2406,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,6,7,0,0,3,1,9,1,0,1,0,15,21,6,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,5,10,4,5,16,3,8,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,2,8,44,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.20573378661846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859585560836732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433675315858278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719280440232769,0.0,0.3631647592683915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157872704702428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4263957426403958,0.30122537788802844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224156607256855,0.11981612270054412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586334242853087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20599588885024547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21287211428926445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229128873005967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799941157605908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20851030075557994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19409838989925365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737068586043247,0.12293315447257748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434944195576722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576372693462133
mentalhealth,OminousHooting,2019/02/24,"I need help to help I need help. My boyfriend(24m) has depression(has had it since his teens) , he takes medication for. About a year ago he was in car accident. Nothing major, the things it effected was his back(been sore) but also his anxiety.

His depression has also gotten worse, he is medically off work so now he is at home all day.

He is going stir crazy were he wants to go out of the house but doesn't know what to do. I try to get him to take walks with me, go to the gym. Nothing. 

Now he has also lost interest in things that he used to find fun. He is bored of everything. 

I need help. How do I motivate him without being a nag?How do I help and support him out of this hole? How do I know if I'm babying him or being supportive?



",1.6121288515406178,3.4356208431372584,3.4028618113912223,90.13073529411768,79.13071895424837,7.247245564892625,23.3468720821662,8.192908349453996,1.2184009337068162,571,19,128,11,14,191,93,153,0.124,0.6990000000000001,0.177,0.8552,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,4,9,7,0,0,5,0,18,3,0,5,1,22,36,11,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,7,4,0,0,5,1,0,5,2,3,0,0,6,0,17,4,20,28,2,16,0,2,0,0,22,6,0,2,5,81,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773502690677615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31864320504614285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160530608246912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021287427383374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565653761855706,0.0,0.11439583576508355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936813631885412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139312587144067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939185458508634,0.0,0.22645036685948355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4451250888322629,0.0,0.13322715169901592,0.0,0.0,0.15325398811013768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598645439440866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498639335488156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676000593059637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29544830032619124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548846544349728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986831356141036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014402870698255,0.0,0.0,0.19972501587806635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764765806448716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017461451152156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471199440182785,0.0,0.0,0.07833942020205173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128031685892591,0.0,0.09669299032907903,0.0,0.1353527552404742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553035289302828
mentalhealth,treble-rebel201,2019/02/24,"I had a bad experience trying to find a therapist. Am I alone and does it get easier? I saw a doctor for the first time last week. I did it through my university so it was a really long drawn out process and I had multiple appointments with people before I could finally see a doctor, who could only see me for one session. It was really draining for me and I felt like it really discouraged me from getting help. Does anyone have any similar experiences or advice? I do have insurance that would probably cover the cost.",3.0694000000000017,5.583051140000002,5.419999999999997,74.015,77.6,10.0,26.0,10.125756701596842,3.3875999999999986,414,16,73,15,10,145,69,100,0.09,0.828,0.08199999999999999,-0.2151,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,7,0,12,2,0,0,0,12,18,5,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,7,4,12,1,8,8,0,7,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,7,53,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032212608040447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169921549932449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156962205578733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471785297283875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698717155894558,0.0,0.0,0.1396069758107863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619846258557718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33585434504606965,0.2871482492615192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32097351640325344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575278408336367,0.17972485949122674,0.14995216356775135,0.13955335005441444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714340685160741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099691101115118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373462796876115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015372521884087,0.0,0.0,0.14519209673377706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117448678517618,0.12477859743046632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374180534598315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688949564016915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31531214391620754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614766488312536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190491762049674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566744597552246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138916184768748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160280615408518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654685567296735,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,qwelianiop,2019/02/24,I told my mom i have depression He Reddit I'm currently in a restroom at Braums I just told my mom I have depression and that I have suicidal thoughts. She didn't believe me and told me that regardless of what I have being a lazy disappoinment is in my genes,0.7513746630727773,3.2561431132075462,2.947762803234504,87.41415094339622,89.56603773584905,7.556873315363883,24.552560646900268,8.418075326091056,2.130942857142857,207,9,43,6,7,70,33,53,0.27,0.73,0.0,-0.9371,1,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,5,12,2,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,12,0,4,6,0,4,0,2,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,31,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534040958821541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874408416790253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5268394324095689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24602236015548204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855873332202382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6447526253576022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,n000d1e,2019/02/24,"Late diagnosed GAD. I nearing the end of my senior year of high school and I am also dual-enrolled in a local community college. I’ve recently been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder after years and years of struggling. I feel like I’m crumbling. For the past couple of months I’ve been trying many different antidepressants in the hope that something will help and it’s just seemed to make things worse. Recently I had an allergic reaction to Prozac and have been covered in itchy welts for the past two weeks. I also have to move out before June when I’m supposed to graduate due to the lease ending on the home that I live in with my parents currently. I am actively searching for a job but everything seems to fall through and I only have a couple hundred saved up.I’m taking one in person biology class at the college and one online accounting class. And it is still just too much for me and I am panicking even trying to think about getting work done or studying for tests. Even showing up for class is so stressful to think about.
I am such a good track to graduate but now at the end it seems like they’re just making it hard for me ( my high school).Because I scored eight points under the passing grade for a standardize math test I might have to take a in person math class at eight in the morning at my high school next trimester. Even though I passed every single math requirement class with good grades at my high school. I struggle in math really badly and so it is freaking me out even more, especially because i worked SO hard to pass all the math classes before. I need to talk to a therapist or something but at the moment I can’t afford the insurance co-pay. So I’m really just seeking guidance anywhere I can even if it may be silly to post on Reddit. I have like 25 accounting assignment to do in the next couple of days and I can’t even get a hold of my professor he won’t answer any of my emails and so I’m kind of in a point of panic right now. If anyone has any suggestions or guidance I would really appreciate it. I just feel so lost and freaked out right now. Also a sidenote sorry if there are some mistakes I’m using speech to text because my hands are shaking too badly. Leaving my house is so difficult at the moment. ",4.4410828374033775,5.912765440180589,5.227847321978249,81.49156098228333,70.6704288939052,8.43967439633354,28.548395923113755,8.927757054556999,2.3065310759969906,1802,67,340,34,33,585,220,443,0.136,0.7979999999999999,0.066,-0.9848,5,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,4,33,21,0,5,26,0,31,5,1,3,1,56,53,33,0,7,14,1,5,3,0,5,4,1,1,2,10,18,0,2,8,1,2,6,3,12,0,5,6,6,34,9,65,41,5,69,0,1,0,0,8,34,0,13,31,228,44,30,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378275391340586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985188489987842,0.0,0.0554138598394686,0.0,0.0,0.05064940898000282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209631996677204,0.13247017838259853,0.0,0.12327655427749415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24044941687677696,0.0,0.046715664298833864,0.0,0.0,0.1470434052868607,0.0,0.07568091038059316,0.08301870776457305,0.0,0.0,0.07412787031879943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247218713446956,0.0,0.0,0.2870624529999291,0.0,0.06103102476364769,0.0,0.06510141478145548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732523210071544,0.05174877671131985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569034831424458,0.0,0.0,0.12151289630924225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977806963122754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04855277787079643,0.30613330631815905,0.07265989342199007,0.07194596487412261,0.0,0.08358220002882334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188222502239447,0.0,0.0,0.07543165251479962,0.0,0.0,0.08171172707397985,0.07669998219262615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616670478066856,0.0,0.06396291312603654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907319007017577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670408910819528,0.0734394213601792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684386750448878,0.0,0.0,0.05781826470634359,0.07698872429242977,0.053249292460345536,0.05371087834985151,0.0,0.0,0.1540744560940497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816993438078928,0.05509135718137236,0.0,0.08498883341593771,0.08043235779946765,0.0,0.13829800965976285,0.0,0.12649782514901148,0.0,0.0,0.1369521472364433,0.0,0.0693743134724121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921437090837765,0.0,0.14304495994574926,0.0,0.0,0.12372105319327355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932391384053857,0.0,0.19783089135090534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153058618820376,0.0,0.08108692971953689,0.0,0.0,0.05784802403373219,0.0,0.08297596906854497,0.15145308553140685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892673289443876,0.058221857332669685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410456536054332,0.04812370968532957,0.092828995852567,0.07116866763131184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835949798849587,0.0,0.07076010822658521,0.0,0.0,0.06256203169674385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058104333188596875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546952753049507,0.0,0.07381916257103475,0.0514569372189272,0.0,0.0,0.13994053568583215
mentalhealth,throwaway72473,2019/02/24,Yesterday was probably one of the worst days I've had in a very long time But bitches I'm still here so I'm quite chuffed with myself,-0.2643103448275852,2.0155679999999982,1.4788793103448263,97.37280172413796,93.13793103448276,5.658620689655173,21.043103448275854,7.1686216300943375,0.6416827586206897,108,4,25,2,4,35,26,29,0.258,0.742,0.0,-0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,2,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,14,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722701140933941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3736145604546302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860789805258718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551796733387101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4490386492553723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371521809684473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461755948293763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483413583282059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loopmow,2019/02/24,"Where can I get one session with a therapist online for free Hello, I understand that no therapy is free, but I right now I desperately need to talk with a professional about my issue. Is there any place online where you could get a brief free single consultation (for example 20-30 minutes) through a chat or to explain your situation, ask your question and later to get an answer from a therapist? I know some places where you could vent to a stranger online, but I need help from someone who is qualified and will understand my condition and respectively give me a better advice how to proceed. Any help is greatly appreciated.",10.793999999999995,8.784136921739133,10.515652173913043,60.63608695652175,58.04347826086956,14.069565217391307,43.0,12.688352899677879,5.5317304347826095,506,23,84,14,5,167,74,115,0.04,0.736,0.224,0.9741,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,4,0,1,7,6,0,0,8,0,8,0,0,1,0,20,19,7,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,6,1,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,13,9,13,16,2,10,0,0,0,0,15,6,0,3,3,60,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596524728971911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22220720866037186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15273769789082212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449581517467333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608903362343299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560770024066225,0.15672842161331454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801263811873602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901955520227173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170525661358825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978905342905999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422875312512956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071011950919288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413934290839085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302233529538306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395251272319369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836453071466944,0.0,0.0,0.13843084765898114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131818461535807,0.0,0.0,0.1868385990560804,0.3793921852373805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401674646090518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BurbMurley4r2wenter,2019/02/24,"I've just realised the worst thing I've ever done. I have just recently  realised what the single worst thing I have ever done is. I am only 18 and before, that question was never associated in my mind with any one thing in particular.      
However, now that I know, I am worried that I will not be able to escape thinking about it.
The most unbearable aspect of it all is that everyone around me knows I've done it but somehow I've only just realised. 

I don't know what to do or how to act. It's too late to say sorry and I'm disgusted by myself and questioning what I can do to mend the situation I've created. ",3.4754761904761935,4.438585753968255,5.603333333333335,79.825,72.4126984126984,8.774603174603175,27.49206349206349,9.150863307647796,2.208101587301588,479,17,98,10,9,168,74,126,0.119,0.8490000000000001,0.032,-0.8591,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,11,3,1,0,4,0,16,0,0,1,4,25,21,6,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,14,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,4,1,11,0,12,15,5,10,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,5,6,79,25,0,0.15905930280475572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816578028313804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159650202672142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534775141563346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4883186729389716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877564914076857,0.0,0.15198798016661724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622444991840813,0.0,0.17942582169933627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606045531225129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226763400180074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077827000676142,0.24194353453941544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563656431457213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705187246242733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649034176328733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878932067608744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780538671130013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170157991775026,0.10191877870413413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16153244292052327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FBIagent0,2019/02/24,"Having serious trouble getting over my ex. It’s been nearly 8months since I broke up with my ex and she still comes in my mind almost daily. I’ll try to keep this part short and add extra detail later for those who care to read it. We dated for a year on and off, to sum up our relationship it was a complete waste of time. I sacrificed a lot just to be with her and she rarely actually put effort into our relationship. Even tho she was always distant and didn’t care, she was sweet and I fell in love. We basically broke up because we grew apart and we’re arguing. 

After this she got back with her ex after 2 weeks and admitted to loving him for the entire time we were together. This made me so mad considering I spent 150$ on her(which is a lot considering I just turned 16 and only have a seasonal job). I also learned how to make jewelry out of copper for her and spent a lot of time making her a bracelet and a necklace. It all just felt like everything I had done was for nothing. 

I’m happy with my new girlfriend but I think about my ex daily and I hate her so much. I can’t stand the thought of her but I’ve tried to forgive her a lot and get over it but i can’t. 

Any advice to help me stop thinking of her or get over the hate I have for her?

This part isn’t as important if you don’t want to read it. My ex’s ex cheated on her 3 times and she still got back with him. She would only go on dates with me once every month, she made me give her oral and other things but I never got anything. She manipulated me a lot to buying her makeup. She would get mad at me for going out with friends but canceled our plans for her friends. Thank god she moved to another city I couldn’t stand the sight of her. ",1.3023139421514465,3.152989143646412,3.1004744881377952,91.79729606759831,80.21546961325967,6.137276568085799,20.86805329866753,7.1686216300943375,0.402508677283068,1338,37,303,17,34,446,183,362,0.111,0.7859999999999999,0.102,-0.753,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,7,1,0,2,14,21,6,0,14,0,21,2,0,6,2,69,54,28,0,5,10,6,1,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,14,31,0,2,7,2,3,7,7,10,0,0,18,3,61,11,54,32,10,49,0,2,1,2,54,20,0,8,21,210,75,4,0.0,0.0,0.09263450088035452,0.0,0.0,0.0927610072592457,0.0,0.0,0.09505510601397074,0.0,0.0,0.07591263054785033,0.07898639288089368,0.0,0.0,0.06455322652244408,0.0995386370337998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811636237117889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459851280623887,0.0,0.05786626971728686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356764067069507,0.0,0.0,0.08177071276258471,0.0995285541951497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714269407217432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269801072896401,0.0,0.0799796101254342,0.0,0.08531375301330904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114425777870404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14667984631444694,0.0,0.1983805637174027,0.09106207997394933,0.10789775375464096,0.0,0.2277640096142887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105094825124164,0.0,0.18744039086090009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362718403716043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419983286376378,0.0843749712260218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046376258029110884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035152744006196,0.17134961573056787,0.17964336367806472,0.12672825623297695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958486322672021,0.0,0.07576936955017186,0.10089177064958488,0.06978184729695691,0.0,0.0732131136612465,0.09168053613595273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108446829253736,0.0,0.0,0.1010935482522315,0.0,0.1443916527933408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20559214303032705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954272794632542,0.0,0.0,0.18990423381027105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20383091789552807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852412256926937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161673678795762,0.07936274472121654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739550156310827,0.0,0.0,0.06306490106184151,0.12165004479895472,0.0,0.07536098081661717,0.2214094552652915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889762758725715,0.10325269536028353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05599006696788002,0.0,0.07614425504109057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486602241914467,0.0,0.0,0.06112950764654297
mentalhealth,aconcernedpotato,2019/02/24,How to stop being a toxic person? How can i identify these traits in myself and actually do something to chage them?,3.9804545454545455,6.365177045454548,5.863636363636362,72.61545454545455,74.0,8.036363636363637,24.63636363636364,8.841846274778883,2.2623818181818187,93,3,15,2,2,32,20,22,0.119,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.3736,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.5628158607151921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5035878526412231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44400327306949977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4821811641936986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amalyzeheartkeys,2019/02/24,What is Your Story With Mental Health? I feel as if it would be interesting to share our stories and possibly help each other. ,4.391249999999999,6.4779622916666675,5.315000000000001,78.33000000000001,71.91666666666666,8.133333333333335,24.5,8.841846274778883,1.91265,101,3,18,2,2,33,24,24,0.0,0.725,0.275,0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,4,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23508930965864325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4942130012979114,0.0,0.0,0.3116417029445437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4685535049101837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5241537277786921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302823905542667,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway119944777,2019/02/24,"I have no life in me... what options are there? I see two different therapists and am involved in group therapy as well but none of it has helped.

I grew up with abuse and rape going on at home and severe bullying outside the house. Before I reached my teens I totally shut down socially and emotionally, and a brief time running away almost led to me going into prostitution.

As an adult I have been isolated for over a decade. I have constant derealization so nothing feels real, and I can't handle even sitting next to another person without starting to shake.

I've (mostly) managed to stay off drugs, but that's only because I would lose where I live if I went into them like I crave. So many nights I have debated whether I want to face another day or just check out. I have no friends, no family of my own, and I can't connect with anybody due to such extreme fear of people and such self-hatred towards myself and my appearance.

Even something as simple as going to the shopping mall for groceries is a big challenge. I've been barely eating anything the past 4 days because I'm out of most groceries and I can't get myself to go buy more food.

I don't want to die, but I don't have any life left in me. No will at all. As perverse and twisted as it sounds I just want to sell myself to someone who will keep me alive... I don't care what they do to me other than that. It's as if unless I am being used or abused or beaten or raped I have no purpose to be around.

The therapists I see just nod and say that must be hard, you're so brave, you're so strong, it's so courageous. I'm sick of hearing it. If I was any of those things I would be past this after so many years in therapy. I'm almost middle age and still feel as hollow and dead inside as I did as a child.",4.3884889522451855,4.638337387978139,5.511168923734854,83.89309693513901,69.92896174863388,8.223140888572107,28.754573532905678,8.04050195162591,1.7500597766690429,1388,47,291,17,23,462,203,366,0.197,0.71,0.093,-0.9937,1,0,2,0,2,1,37.0,0,0,2,4,18,14,3,2,9,0,32,9,1,2,3,57,54,42,2,9,16,0,3,1,1,5,4,3,1,3,15,21,2,1,2,2,4,11,13,6,1,1,5,8,40,8,55,40,7,50,0,1,2,2,13,23,0,13,15,206,55,3,0.0,0.2382982211066719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20139593150889493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677073996931355,0.2108953150144458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275366903234899,0.08952118825643095,0.0,0.0,0.09448097988008257,0.0,0.0,0.12260289616577875,0.0,0.08557055690738019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025293036260568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867141779991546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970788918551818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436711542009658,0.10506552014663477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661958707074466,0.10289967255957598,0.0,0.1131183203251325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284004199267868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480057327836457,0.11315981335581865,0.10169398293256386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159954559923343,0.0,0.07769368085744346,0.0,0.052539311272313316,0.0,0.2286060111483068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008348552402967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133402874499206,0.0,0.06740435383117895,0.0,0.1008715336243898,0.0,0.0,0.1160346417196411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938381449810467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926052629136487,0.0,0.1420593338375205,0.04912934232221522,0.0,0.08879777877783462,0.0,0.0,0.11250276298310567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20390745739373944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694845496323624,0.09437029571067833,0.0,0.09649161474330402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648166583536757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19199494624305308,0.06971678578796797,0.08780655339544542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446117274189065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997065983645985,0.0,0.0,0.16026922959129913,0.0,0.10490773198469808,0.11360604006452253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250993751632992,0.08520555918523949,0.07741727069081053,0.0,0.0,0.0711780530195106,0.1071853380864452,0.08030866309607235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23000202020257215,0.23351965143849704,0.06680869143946426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058638306449151474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823411926562604,0.0,0.0,0.08685297743635738,0.0,0.0,0.17794159880139876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041699976168296,0.09322165645980796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693784145200787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287222093051524,0.0,0.0,0.06475840515787859
mentalhealth,allie-rva,2019/02/24,"Had to take girlfriend to hospital today Hey all, just posting for a little moral support. My partner and I have been together for about 14 months now. She’s struggled with mental health issues for years. The last several months have been really tough— constant anxiety with daily anxiety attacks, depression, suicidal thoughts, self harm, etc. 

After a week of intense paranoia and anxiety, she got to a point of needing professional help. Normally, her anti anxiety meds will at least break the attack for her but, they haven’t been as effective lately. I was afraid to leave her alone. We agreed to take her to the hospital. 

We were in an emergency room intake for hours and I had to leave her there to go take care of her dog. They expected to transfer her to the psychiatric unit soon, but I still haven’t heard from her.

It was so painful leaving her there, and I feel so much sadness from her heart, even though I’m not with her. I hate that she’s suffering so much and there’s so little I can do. I know it’s not my job to fix her, but it’s such a helpless feeling seeing your loved one so lost and desperate for relief. 

I wish I could talk to her now. She’s so strong and brave, and so so loved. 

I wish you all the best on your paths to recovery.",3.0774944567627465,5.168190422764232,3.880665188470065,87.15618625277162,75.66666666666666,7.724759793052478,25.815964523281608,8.575989854853784,1.8338682926829275,988,36,198,20,22,315,139,246,0.184,0.615,0.201,0.9457,1,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,2,3,2,4,20,20,3,2,10,0,16,5,1,1,2,32,37,21,1,6,6,0,2,0,2,1,2,1,1,2,4,13,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,12,0,1,12,4,37,8,33,23,7,24,1,5,1,2,33,7,0,0,14,140,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178751919124208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302781771314888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455819943580293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327052630572353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004634585377618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663877549823205,0.0,0.08617686044620335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929637672595032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037542173952355,0.07128967371939368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914978275733496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134162448530792,0.0,0.0863250244659013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656290487487673,0.0,0.11472925290785176,0.0,0.12790282041499804,0.07234617393686375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629367279620876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265550371491502,0.1071082682082105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059317940546504674,0.08798096707883554,0.12175473945706736,0.3428609337715981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163573105020595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782318156507544,0.0,0.1948300760319435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989082076151973,0.0,0.10877251999547513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17230446613390238,0.0,0.15868845175460994,0.08003201295177198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057528257270784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313916380832798,0.0,0.1148498445235962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203292478301383,0.0,0.10337134906228398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914556031548535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600976718640313,0.0,0.11259915115418155,0.12193518471182865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619657601847559,0.0,0.0,0.11283650235510335,0.0,0.11806274904324868,0.12248271321406967,0.0,0.0,0.2434597785113124,0.08675360715148911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604503044112386,0.08568788181836617,0.0,0.0,0.10230922014302232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657849004096048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482385378389917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950623479248677
mentalhealth,TheHipsterYisus,2019/02/24,"How to know if you need to see a doctor? I wanted to know where to draw the line between my own flaws and behaviors and actual symptoms to a disorder. (How paranoid is too paranoid, how why is too shy, how anxious is too anxious). ",4.462318840579711,5.0220576956521725,5.78130434782609,80.92384057971016,69.8695652173913,8.742028985507247,32.72463768115942,8.841846274778883,2.718298550724638,178,8,35,3,3,60,30,46,0.22,0.78,0.0,-0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,4,0,11,8,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,6,8,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,27,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.2700949209281054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.625359602027918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172110015853107,0.283293506200028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30421935867768746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20522701420141526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22055583835510106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876778057016713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325054452423798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497486498319091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the-radical-waffler,2019/02/24,"Dealing with societal pressure+ self hatred So recently a couple pals of mine got into a conversations about smoking weed. Now what's important to recognise that I haven't smoked once in my life. I'm also a minor with them all beeing nearly half a decade over me.

Hearing these people gush on and on about their experiences with this ""miracle drug"" dettonated an attom bomb of self loathing at the back of my head. I immediately felt like a lesser human beeing for once again beeing different from the ""cool"" people I looked up to. 

This thought has plagued me for a solid week now. While I can reel of a bunch of reasons why I shouldn't try it (minor, bad headspace, the law, lack of acces, lack of money, halting my development  and the list goes on). Knowing that I haven't done it actively infuriates me.

I've spotted the problem here. I'm not seeking anything postive here. I'm seeking validation. Validation from people who I don't even know. That's all I'm doing. Nobody is forcing me to do it. It wouldn't be responcible of me to do it. It wouldn't be healthy for me to do it.

But even though I recognise that this isn't rathional thought making me regret a poor life desission, but self hatred. I still feel absolutely worthless.  I absolutely hate myself for this. 

Is there anything I can do about this??? (And no this is not an invitation for people trying to recomend me cannabis. You're not helping at all.)
",3.996507299855608,6.0753771217712185,5.11591849831542,79.3701171185625,72.98523985239852,7.517471522541312,29.12578212738649,8.321376580360154,2.239554018931494,1124,47,204,19,23,370,148,271,0.16899999999999998,0.804,0.027000000000000003,-0.9884,1,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,2,0,16,8,1,1,15,1,21,4,1,2,3,32,36,9,0,7,5,0,2,1,1,3,3,1,0,5,20,7,0,1,7,0,2,0,11,6,0,1,5,5,26,2,37,26,6,18,0,2,1,0,13,10,0,0,9,149,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071883479688496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22060001798053305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103065225062679,0.11191426000651762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830801782516093,0.0,0.0,0.1381849819384491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003883999645653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716511757916658,0.0,0.0,0.15543892679025514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705870926801046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111269165267395,0.0,0.0,0.06777250702523567,0.0,0.12869534816064818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720064079423526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233256240772093,0.13755935795173754,0.0,0.15106804170578508,0.0,0.08984134384006423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732509551020048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18934684084284653,0.06548310139225255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255627970992836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946990987239954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854874175552524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.371694074189236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825411934542025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378110837762852,0.13234414172215794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194855859455859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704113020089044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168945258536358,0.21281884125866604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820029639135375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751540087954928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094642448119867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Madlad107,2019/02/24,"An Update (3rd day without self harm!) So, I replied to a lot of your comments on my last post saying I would update yall... So here it is: 
It’s currently 29 minutes into my 3rd day without self harm. I still haven’t even touched a sharp object, although I’ve been experiencing a lot of tensing and anger. I want to thank all of you for the amazing support you gave me and congratulate those of you who told me you haven’t self harmed for a substantial amount of time! I look up to yall! Once again, thanks so much for the support! ❤️",2.3885585585585574,3.836425693693695,3.6776576576576585,90.66261261261265,75.84684684684684,6.374774774774775,25.84684684684685,6.937597516519254,0.8974036036036028,416,15,93,4,9,136,71,111,0.075,0.711,0.213,0.9339,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,7,0,0,7,9,1,0,7,0,5,0,0,0,1,10,13,6,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,5,16,5,16,9,5,13,0,0,1,0,15,3,0,2,9,62,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199746544555148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264327296777152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390168249280926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321473133988322,0.0,0.0,0.28998228602475645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537009678419106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816247121504944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333483493419312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356241195085985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5337464568567413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619734717196566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870645769178889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140295911870368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994460805738626,0.0,0.0,0.1629629242726151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005917783294706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32879832230666983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121150176862145,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dauletiyarova,2019/02/24,"How to get back to normal life? I have SAD. First two months of winter was really bad. I was drinking a lot, crying, sleeping, eating and just really feeling bad. My friends aware of it. I’m getting better but anyway I take shower only few times per week, haven’t cleaned my room for a while. I have two jobs and I’m not satisfied with results. Problem is I realize what I’m doing wrong but cannot help myself to stop it. 


I remember times when I was so energetic and had time to do so many things. 

I come home and just watch netflix, go to sleep for 8-10 hours and get back to work. Is there any way to help myself? I deleted instagram, twitter and honestly feel better and wondering if I just become lazy. 

Was thinking about getting room in hotel for weekend, distract myself from everything, turn off my phone and just take bath, write and read. 

Could you recommend anything else? ",2.9219186046511645,5.1372207848837235,3.9699418604651164,85.7470058139535,76.61627906976744,6.858139534883722,25.284883720930228,7.8658589789855275,1.5355395348837209,693,25,132,11,16,224,112,172,0.183,0.7040000000000001,0.113,-0.9102,2,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,4,13,10,0,1,2,0,14,5,2,2,0,33,30,17,0,4,8,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,6,0,4,11,2,1,6,6,0,2,3,6,0,3,5,3,17,4,17,24,2,21,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,3,14,85,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940801215849972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819333212154522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021934581414632,0.2195535034469605,0.0,0.14520462605809434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325592167396412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325470893921108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497268065558453,0.0,0.1444199275131769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879617253037948,0.0,0.13453250567155478,0.1098311107406156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816191811960235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329561697848664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183319785905144,0.0,0.0,0.1015778311106518,0.0,0.274762592179475,0.0,0.07472069328878299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762508351779333,0.0,0.13188088777993648,0.0,0.12947712079985846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304693855865403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928652038427452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177597311021292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329576511729474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494268186003504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12881831092470905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999322531186243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580452764532293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151131988387899,0.0,0.16845345221830213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893638452793914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263141381777577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991960630348037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19770678926896146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734664004674181,0.08424434587080949,0.0,0.0,0.2299936850733944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430078516518523,0.25686538894652977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435932326077407,0.10546190868006787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257983238919794,0.09571590508445846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374808302739264,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Certain_Philosophy,2019/02/24,"I want to ram my head on a wall I have ADHD and anxiety. I am currently on medicine. My parents wont let me listen to music with earbuds (which helps me focus) because Ive been procrastinating all day (that it 100% on me). But now I wanna ram my head on a wall and I feel super tense. Im on Zoloft and ADHD meds right now. I havent felt like this in a long time, since before I started taking Zoloft a year ago. Idk why???",0.8718956043956041,2.3391293076923065,3.3693269230769265,91.16629807692308,80.0989010989011,5.868681318681317,20.166208791208803,6.6274283507984215,0.10997692307692296,321,8,75,3,8,112,61,91,0.09,0.812,0.098,0.4078,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,4,0,7,4,2,0,1,10,13,4,0,2,1,1,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,14,2,10,9,1,18,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,10,45,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4846384828595685,0.0,0.17873221277367812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424586601611734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229113525336252,0.0,0.17157168738200396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003422099031578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194983460971184,0.0,0.19359575196372544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4138596728309247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514787260560174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21779424856206456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061796245974943,0.0,0.09850589346186167,0.0,0.0,0.1784355895289053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22396470316452655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238854813658126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721903243115216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678984421596108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271425946592056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516001438654713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757166888131194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892618779631693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18193908582875432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984266138562942
mentalhealth,iBelieveDoU,2019/02/24,"I do not believe autism is ""real"" hear me out Literally everyone exhibits autistic tendencies at one point in their life if they continue to develop them it night lead to problems in life or it might not i mean kobe bryant shows basically all the symtoms of asbergers but does he actually have that ? If he does it probably wudnt make much sense to diagnose him with it but u still probably cud also the first ""autistic"" basketball player was recently a thing but do u really not think nba player kawahi leonard doesnt have autism ? its a spectrum that includes the entire population so ur basically just describing the way certain people behave and giving it a name. What im saying is Its not a spectrum of its own i suggest either lose the diagnoses or increases the spectrum to include the entire population and based on peoples psychologies u assess how bad someones autism is. I think it is harmful personally to diagnose people with it i think it hinders their potential for growth and alienates them. But hear me out even furthur even people with actual ""autism"" where they dont speak their entire lifes or scream randomly etc alot of those symtoms resemble other mental health disorders i honestly do believe psychologist have fucked up by creating autism the way it is currently orginally autism was childhood schizophrenia disorder and i can see why alot of similarities between them same with boarderline personality disorder even homosexuality and pedophile im not saying honosexuality is always a perversion but for people whose entire personality is based on their sexuality i think is a mental health disorder they never developed their parts of their personality correctly. Autism in short imo is misunderstood mental health disorder that is something that either includes more or less symtoms and descriptions",8.71828296703297,10.57048726602564,8.774157509157508,58.61846153846153,60.95512820512821,12.224908424908426,39.53663003663004,11.855464076750405,5.658505311355313,1505,77,209,49,21,491,168,312,0.122,0.83,0.048,-0.9787,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,12,3,9,8,1,0,16,0,22,10,0,3,4,51,33,20,0,3,19,0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,4,21,12,0,0,5,1,0,3,8,6,0,2,2,7,23,2,27,30,13,25,0,1,1,1,29,12,1,10,8,153,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.15623196886174145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640149167926258,0.06660693130417734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683732120125152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803749467935459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437432376957789,0.0,0.0,0.4587137287882368,0.0,0.14010231432518327,0.0,0.09381648070238288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927546086927163,0.15861423497956156,0.0,0.0,0.07648996364812817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808938367111275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400373363632418,0.0,0.07679000754454658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25526407585177435,0.18044140623626684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293266572548574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962229325090336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955402008798785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534331291083043,0.0,0.0,0.08719650182108092,0.0,0.0,0.24201078705719864,0.08491902113787267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05884500531877451,0.0,0.061738492597744235,0.0,0.0,0.07512028268187998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0542430710706931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668494184909194,0.0,0.2774784489454358,0.27958175028336085,0.0,0.0,0.07567189590873488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261207604599688,0.0765957954739126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091112945951036,0.05128124724319996,0.0,0.07903843450220446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731587896235802,0.0,0.0,0.0637884502821538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678250040848244,0.06162540039699431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392699554610153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05318079962285386,0.20516789997721432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707786484146236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223150133613009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yoyoyoitgalaxy,2019/02/24,"Advice I [17M] get 2 hours of sleep every night and have pretty bad depression and anxiety and when I talked to my mom about getting meds for it, she said that it's very unhealthy and had horrible side effects. I used weed for everything and since my parents found out, its been pretty bad. What should I do?",4.957786885245903,5.6820594918032805,5.252581967213113,84.56608606557378,68.8360655737705,8.722950819672132,28.364754098360656,8.841846274778883,2.017914754098361,243,8,49,4,4,77,49,61,0.272,0.639,0.08900000000000001,-0.9216,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,2,0,10,10,6,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,7,0,6,5,0,5,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,29,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20211868099431973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822970632347436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34540043979644824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814836838388967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17426905746952698,0.0,0.18589172044600125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267860479107297,0.0,0.0,0.2161275467902734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20369273897126733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297492316899061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422449447438836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19410247306162987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22966796376183324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208550899418049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967493117363761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17109766860962047,0.0,0.20698633264255129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166247711566087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864072149193574,0.0,0.17066215162760434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tinyasparagus,2019/02/24,"How did you adjust after being discharged from an impatient behavioral center? I just got discharged and am on Effexor, but for some reason I'm having a hard time coping. I'm having depressive and crying episodes a lot. I was only there for a week but I just feel lost. I'm afraid of having to be admitted again, because I have three kids, including a one month old and a 3 year old with autism.",3.9703846153846167,5.51803808974359,5.213333333333335,80.84000000000002,71.94871794871794,8.276923076923078,25.820512820512814,8.841846274778883,2.0183435897435893,313,10,58,6,6,104,57,78,0.184,0.794,0.022,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,5,3,0,1,6,0,9,0,0,2,0,15,16,6,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,4,2,5,0,8,10,2,10,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,2,8,42,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602710480367036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888006907329121,0.0,0.0,0.2264490168148457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293814202880114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102778049242894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355209393457276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28700368336978016,0.22352163442699127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20985690500209614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5517718671358051,0.0,0.17815856890591686,0.19995933411642752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703212590523334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330833322232898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108952178364441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930917275893292
mentalhealth,xX_420Edgy69Me_Xx,2019/02/24,"I can’t relax without being depressed I work 40+ hours a week. On the one hand, I love working, and doing something with my life. On the other hand, working too much makes me go crazy. On the few days I have off, I’m too exhausted to do anything, so I end up sitting at home doing nothing productive all day, which makes me miss work and feel depressed and worthless. I’m being “forced” by my SO to travel for a wedding soon, which will require me to take a week off work. I’m dreading it, and I feel like me “relaxing” and doing nothing productive for a week will send me into a major depression",5.274344746162928,5.035062975206613,6.267131050767414,80.91809917355373,68.00826446280992,8.567178276269184,32.98819362455726,7.957251820313856,2.365088783943329,464,19,92,5,7,155,72,121,0.145,0.6709999999999999,0.183,0.7273,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,6,5,11,0,1,8,0,10,5,2,2,1,14,21,7,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,4,7,0,1,2,3,0,3,2,7,0,1,0,4,13,4,16,17,4,20,0,5,0,1,3,8,0,0,9,65,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258174833352094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19720600158120727,0.0,0.395058205642762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541735593431387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461406306839776,0.10922641789568677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689231950168055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336362301739778,0.0,0.1505682944511426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799247983026763,0.0746955425804599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799143205898556,0.0,0.20411383457578292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123935644579414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934089152036837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360390098963128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770410036068416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495611687123462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679233741395645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473828942457099,0.0,0.5565377300400285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,losingmyshiz,2019/02/24,"Beehive in my head I have this feeling in my head like I my thoughts are like a beehive. Im having 100 ideas at the same time and cant stop it. Its like TV static, but very loud. I could describe my thoughts best if I took a bunch of ball pens in one hand and just drew this black mass. I freeze, my stare goes out of focus and I see myself from the side. My SO is talking to me, I can hear it, but it's just words that I forget the second I hear them. I can't describe it as very negative feeling, but it's not good also. It's just there and its driving me crazy. 

​

The beehive feeling is constant, I can't shut it down. Ever. I go to sleep with it, my sleep is chaotic, I dream ALOT, I mess up my bed in my sleep becouse I move a lot during my sleep. I wake up tired no matter how long I sleep. 

​

This used to be less of a nuisance, but it's getting stronger and I'm tired. What's happening to me? ",-0.3053454545454528,1.6416707200000042,1.5844545454545482,99.8947272727273,86.8,4.036363636363637,20.090909090909093,4.851557810540192,-0.5306500000000001,704,22,171,2,22,231,110,200,0.153,0.7020000000000001,0.145,-0.8302,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,1,8,6,0,0,9,0,12,11,9,2,1,33,26,14,0,2,9,0,5,3,0,0,2,3,1,0,16,7,0,1,6,3,0,4,6,1,0,2,3,11,32,5,19,21,6,21,0,0,3,0,4,12,0,3,8,116,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825956042495195,0.0,0.23916278616868314,0.2682132671201774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582218998278435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926631627589553,0.0,0.08811818067994368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998322638839152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16741292665549612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05766162107738984,0.0,0.06272347729553149,0.09256967022942177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759618989951577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265344824362308,0.0,0.2487807529058236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458965329768013,0.11921409746958185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175759362824704,0.0,0.0,0.09767033749782122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382913090043372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730147228153973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478678171694965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879473232829436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5522279625287677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227082387557443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870791985261474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752363735011214,0.06435523658781991,0.25369870459435834,0.0,0.0,0.12262056199086513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532069136615123,0.0,0.18212683141130884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682132671201774,0.0
mentalhealth,jayfav07,2019/02/24,"Does it get better after massive weight loss? For people who have struggled with morbid obesity, did your mental health get better once you lost a significant  of weight?",8.233103448275862,10.13867455172414,7.1546551724137935,69.59336206896553,62.10344827586207,8.558620689655173,28.29310344827586,8.841846274778883,2.5304344827586207,138,4,19,2,2,42,26,29,0.189,0.595,0.215,0.2406,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,4,0,5,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,2,4,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4294776169303355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247783517839247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537082489466606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580873770574526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650472753545947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446875027078666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585764111792211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832846887522582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538295699751104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5913353192001202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,innocenttoast,2019/02/24,"My mental problems are so much worse than I thought and so much more than everyone who writes them off as nothing   

Let me start this with the history of the mental disorders I have been diagnosed with. When I was younger I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and learning disabilities in Math and English. Now I’m 19 and within the past years I was diagnosed with combined ADHD and unspecified anxiety and depression along with vaginismus.

So much recently has me thinking that my mental health is much worse than I believe or have let other people believe. I have an extreme fear of knives where every time I see on I will have horrible intrusive thoughts about slitting my throat. These have been going on since I was 14. I have many other intrusive thoughts. One that I’m too ashamed to talk about. But those two are the strongest of what I experience. I have a problem with maladaptive day dreaming as well where a pace back in forth listening to music while day dreaming I have done this religiously since I was 7. I also have ripped the skin off of my lips since I was young. All of these things combined make me believe I may have OCD. Growing up in my family where they were always very passive aggressive about my symptoms didn’t help.

Now These were my initial thoughts but now I’m not sure if it is OCD or what. My phobia of knives is connected to an even bigger problem of mine where I have extreme death anxiety. For about a year everyday I had fits where I believed I was dying. I believe I have a serious illness. Once I even made my mom drive me to the hospital at 1 am because I believed my heart was going to stop. I can’t stub my toe without thinking I’m going to die. I used to think this was just extreme death anxiety until yesterday. Now I believe these are Somatic delusions. Yesterday changed a lot for me where I was going through reddit and found a thread that talked about how “thought broadcasting” is a key sign of schizophrenia where someone believes that others can hear their thoughts. This information sent me through a loop because these last few months I’ve been having fits where I truly believe people are listening to me and judging me especially judging me for my intrusive thoughts. I believed completely my girlfriend could hear everything I was thinking and that anyone I was too close to physically could too. I pride myself on being a materialist and even when I was having these delusions I thought they were so silly but that didn’t make it go away. I have disorganized speech and make up words without knowing they aren’t real, but I still think that has more to do with ADHD and Learning disabilities and when I asked my girlfriend she said I do stumble on my sentences, but she could never not understand what I was saying. I have never seen things that were not there but when I’m in public and only when I’m in public I think I hear very loud whispers (always assuming people are saying mean things about me) but there are always people around, so I can’t tell if there really are people whispering or not.

I smoke a lot of weed since I’ve turned 18. But these symptoms happen even when I am not high or haven’t been high in days. I got out of a very abusive relationship at the end of 2017 and the last time the person did harm to me was in the middle of 2018. I’ve been struggling with this too.

Between School and my multitude of other responsibilities and family problems I don’t feel like I have time for all these mental problems and I wanted to vent about this. I’ve been struggling so much and only have my girlfriend to talk to. I dropped a lot of this on her this morning. I don’t want to rely on her for 100% of my comfort so I made this. I am going to try and go back to therapy, but I’m scared to. ",5.436717897035358,6.463853389574763,5.751339548164946,80.32687830687833,67.91632373113855,8.749374317628286,31.61280479269897,8.957266950251167,2.6069161053721897,3007,122,564,51,49,960,282,729,0.125,0.8390000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.9965,1,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,5,1,51,20,1,5,24,0,81,12,5,7,5,109,136,54,4,12,23,1,2,1,3,2,7,12,0,1,39,32,0,1,23,2,0,10,17,14,1,2,45,16,96,6,88,83,13,86,0,1,2,0,35,38,0,11,38,429,135,4,0.0,0.05480422554893,0.0,0.0,0.1667673899659103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03698984640987714,0.11546278346761388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615409794435612,0.0,0.0,0.03234234381833267,0.0,0.0,0.041176466780400184,0.043241876646080965,0.0,0.04345778921374407,0.07113397897271152,0.0,0.05639284039316113,0.0,0.0,0.5211317855568633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0489313123689433,0.0,0.04849714608104795,0.0,0.0,0.11079178120450152,0.0,0.0,0.08949131531137222,0.0,0.03983908328690588,0.14084256260177844,0.09601009872102717,0.0,0.05301186418454742,0.0,0.0,0.04733459119568298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040967912407607145,0.0,0.0,0.12220310482363506,0.0,0.038971558133489584,0.044198323593966984,0.04157071883608779,0.04524594714368973,0.08720958093580825,0.052049368269946134,0.023387753176346424,0.03304434863665293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050715863035885295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18401318182403265,0.0,0.036994088566152286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04090285581743827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049166555925832016,0.1563971392234308,0.05481201187683563,0.031003533246605413,0.09774120613227638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025420359388440738,0.07540746633754664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945970768572214,0.0,0.02259769750015889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797221028753575,0.0,0.08753458262544014,0.0926260630151905,0.04689497988788156,0.0,0.05038490044888887,0.0,0.0,0.18645533033660008,0.0,0.0,0.05417291562663694,0.036920039814289436,0.0,0.17001253909156167,0.0,0.07134891282186175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04438260758652751,0.0,0.0,0.0492597186514628,0.031343364456831085,0.0703575284000645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04415532054454087,0.16033583612694707,0.04038779756399469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22129738287410908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264794590920245,0.029631928842113464,0.0,0.04567091076888603,0.0496602099817062,0.0,0.0,0.04399878757248125,0.07356714722620135,0.04630899827203572,0.046812199916503816,0.036858986887455564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304937859987744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039191435520790206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032739296614965295,0.0,0.03693904272898455,0.03867097894932872,0.0,0.09671085730808922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359448322459826,0.09615263460945377,0.0,0.11153326557108888,0.04042862418678169,0.0,0.05289625131632342,0.0,0.09218865110969364,0.17782876605882947,0.0,0.2937683582388575,0.08091441784640163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03140388768404497,0.05031180338791298,0.045184095826077714,0.04815274731372853,0.0,0.039949187559293865,0.0,0.11449485169513693,0.05456441076205771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041588507252671936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891757110479498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942749297310228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957298759477823
mentalhealth,shneej,2019/02/24,"hi I am a 17 year old girl about to go to college and I have felt alone all my life. I don’t have any friends or family. Ever since I was young I was made fun of and I always just felt so different from everyone like i was an alien or something, and when i was around 13 or so i made a plan that i would kill myself if things didn’t get better by the time i turned 18. They haven’t gotten any better, in fact they have gotten worse. I do very good in school but every weekend i watch all of these people that i know from school go out and have fun while i sit trapped in my room. Recently i started dating a boy and it was amazing for the first month until i realized that he was a narcissist and completely changed his personality over time so that he could manipulate my emotions to boost his ego. At first i thought i deserved it but after 9 months i feel like it’s been long enough and that i should finally break up with him. For anybody else this would be an obvious and easy choice but I am scared to because it means i will be all alone again. I am going to therapy and i like my therapist but im pretty sure that no matter what i do i will never be able to break out of this. i doubt anyone will see this but if you do please help me i feel so trapped inside my own head.",3.423333333333332,3.8078399963369938,4.545512820512824,89.48698717948719,72.11355311355311,7.9714285714285715,24.690476190476193,7.984000788550335,1.0266542124542126,1001,26,233,13,18,329,153,273,0.1,0.725,0.17600000000000002,0.963,1,4,1,0,0,1,12.0,0,1,2,5,10,14,1,2,8,0,30,2,1,3,8,49,48,26,1,6,11,0,4,3,1,6,1,0,1,3,16,13,0,0,8,1,0,3,5,3,0,2,15,6,42,11,27,23,5,38,0,0,2,0,14,10,0,6,25,160,58,3,0.11422991167468935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23661547711221284,0.0,0.0,0.09504843728077532,0.0,0.0,0.1553605140987364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987221022068072,0.0,0.0,0.10168883953811572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963349391318271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020541481619067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084010020605596,0.0,0.11976788907589495,0.0,0.0,0.09120328949973018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934594510269245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542443354208452,0.12849327570824814,0.0,0.11803003434009612,0.0,0.0,0.10332749489561972,0.09624362728161824,0.1091515758204872,0.0,0.0,0.10768579452510196,0.0,0.11551615113507482,0.08160587172461366,0.21935725769995312,0.12513328472565072,0.0,0.1943278090322267,0.0,0.0,0.08825374640031752,0.0,0.059680414184287614,0.0,0.1947584737022206,0.09581063031127823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723284470854728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765659019323477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338790655992322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637847269860145,0.0,0.06277777208613773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068396479566099,0.16742089460563012,0.0,0.0,0.10108987722641023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161742087806157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442986145984232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823544513636211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810114993420028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986507676317053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919263786801417,0.09974115282124853,0.0,0.12539014042012964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162128865676964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278825697952992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436406915557487,0.2312135381174289,0.09102645020820682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449216335663953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793976677572934,0.0,0.0,0.08085251942147391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076603398979189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306318592355237,0.1326297317239875,0.07588927756498055,0.0,0.0,0.09068579026475104,0.13321676022025467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242493419571874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425164025574824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641003893088203,0.16229130367484473,0.0,0.0,0.07356031794373259
mentalhealth,ScotParkar,2019/02/24,"is it mental health (illness) or am I just a freak!! hey I'm fifthteen I always knew that I had socal anxiety.  
(which is ok cause I don't like to talk to people anyways they always asking questions like ""how you doing"" blah blah blah)
.
But for few years something else happening.
I would  imagine embarrassing things that never happened to me. 
.
so it'll be like 
""if that would/will happen to how embarrassing that could be""
.
and that gives me anxiety on a high level some I have run out of the room and lock myself in the bathroom.
.
I try to stop my imagination but can't 
.
And for few months another thing is happening to me when I'm alone I Imagine some person is with me so I have to behave in a way like that person is actually with me .
.
for example if I watch movie my I start to imagine
that the actor in the movie is with me so I have to behave in a way I would behave if  the actor is actually with me.

it don't only happen with celebrity some time I think about relative
.

once I imagine Gary vanerchuk was with me
.
weird right!!

my parents say that I should be grateful for having a active imagination but I don'tknow about that

.
.
.
.
.
.
oh yeah and and I also fantasise about killing bunch of people just kidding 

",1.7710054261091628,4.185043178423239,3.5461618257261414,86.14789259495693,81.9460580912863,6.197318863708905,22.54723906798596,7.468242284971852,1.0775954676029371,950,32,186,15,26,317,120,241,0.133,0.81,0.057,-0.8967,1,1,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,1,0,13,10,1,2,10,2,26,2,0,3,1,42,38,19,1,7,9,1,0,7,0,4,2,1,1,3,15,12,0,1,9,2,0,1,4,5,0,0,3,2,32,5,30,27,6,20,0,0,1,0,12,10,0,8,11,141,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.2359372463359319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520284513759214,0.0,0.09667357649343768,0.2011759318312288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676093519475687,0.18495699592803785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130133611084272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418461659080322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651871864542808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098587565720483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596616914051094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345014570824633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849760857470374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277241308721193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374395064194824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23623782739187996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182602382400895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649113579921267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323578293590944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874109090179445,0.0,0.09194028312938107,0.0,0.0,0.1342311049717096,0.0,0.0,0.16761614575743453,0.21110835627377705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542150729828206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323714318932152,0.0,0.09613447912123664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306499418747716,0.0,0.0,0.08556469417518475,0.0,0.0,0.10106724424072744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716467920478156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606243781266426,0.07745973776978342,0.0,0.0,0.07049039058285424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207458080723971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190951582692714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576247320230441,0.0,0.0,0.07784749508514566
mentalhealth,Help_a_brokenboy,2019/02/24,"Song/Poem (?) about my mental Health   

I don’t  want to show you how I feel

I’m hiding my emotions and over them I place a seal 

Cause I don’t want anyone to feel what I feel

​

Sometimes hardship comes with ease

But mine have followed with yet another breeze

A breeze of cold winters, storms and earth-quakes 

But this car I’m driving wasn’t built with any breaks

​

This world is not my place to be

I want to travel to heaven, can someone please set me free?

I am imprisoned in my own body

This world is not my place to be

I want you to let me go, slowly and peacfully",2.040295454545454,3.97745874166667,2.627878787878789,95.65227272727276,78.25,5.363636363636363,20.909090909090907,6.11248444174946,-0.02250000000000041,459,12,101,3,11,142,74,120,0.064,0.792,0.14400000000000002,0.755,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,11,2,1,2,0,20,23,6,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,3,2,1,6,5,0,0,0,1,4,19,3,14,19,1,17,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,60,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162178810857133,0.3546280437960743,0.0992335420535967,0.15301437365980472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020336779628628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620890240461342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990447409235208,0.0,0.12570088128526447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414521994301962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213511632868364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293215429733103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511072920558822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921750462016298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705739352786207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4573795702586672,0.16018108390886862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364120341098893,0.0,0.1443228844757645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3442797805379447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546280437960743,0.0
mentalhealth,EmotionalDrag,2019/02/24,"I need professional help, but therapy isn't enough. Do I see a psychiatrist or a psychologist? Sorry if this isn't the right place to post this.

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I've been in and out of therapy for most of my life, and the last several therapists I have ultimately end up telling me that they're not qualified to help. One suggested a few places last spring, but the majority of the doctors they recommended  specialized in children, or don't accept my insurance. As someone who is not employed and unable to maintain employment from mental problems, if my insurance doesn't cover it all I can't do it.

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I've been on meds for depression and anxiety but I don't know the names of the ones who worked and no one can seem to find it any of my medical records since I was about 14 or so when it was prescribed. It could have been paroxetine? I've been on other medicine more recently that didn't really do much but my las therapist, who I no longer see, suggested I go back on them. Unfortunately, I don't have the willpower to live, let alone go shopping for a doctor who can help with my complicated medical problems, let alone will continue to treat me like a normal person after finding out I'm transgender. My last doctor didn't treat me very well when I came out to her and left her practice a few months ago. A lot of my problems are triggered by my voice, so using the phone is incredibly hard and it can take a whole week for me to be able to psych myself up to make one, but lately I haven't been able to.

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I don't know what to do anymore or what kind of doctor to go to. I've never ""qualified"" for in patient treatment, despite the fact I've tried to get into it three times for severe depression and suicidal ideations. It's been suggested to me from the last three therapists I have to seek inpatient treatment for severe depression in the past, but they always leave it all up to me to figure out how to do this even when I tell them I can't do it myself. The last time I tried to get help for suicidal ideations that were becoming urges, it didn't end well and possibly traumatized me. Now I'm afraid to ask for help.

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Things I will absolutely not try(so please don't mention it, even if it worked for you and you were once against it) anything relating to drugs like LSD, magic mushrooms or ketamine, benzodiazepines, and otherwise psychoactive drugs that can treat depression in very specific circumstances.

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What I'm trying to get out of posting this: Someone to tell me if it's a psychologist or a psychiatrist I need to find who can prescribe anything for treatment or at the very least diagnose mental health issues and then form a treatment plan for it. LISW therapists are not what I am looking for and have told me they are not qualified to help because of how severe my depression is. I have absolutely no support I can receive in my life right now so I'm posting this online.",8.96178266178266,7.170732447971782,8.773201058201058,71.00495421245421,61.38095238095239,12.67369420702754,39.44437661104328,11.51311941424646,4.414967494234161,2346,100,443,56,26,762,231,567,0.15,0.769,0.081,-0.9925,3,2,2,0,0,0,65.0,0,2,5,3,16,20,0,1,24,0,55,12,0,5,4,70,80,40,2,11,22,0,1,2,0,2,12,1,0,2,36,21,0,0,8,1,1,5,23,9,2,6,15,5,52,11,76,59,13,58,0,5,3,0,34,24,0,14,28,316,88,13,0.10305044679861224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045674001689401784,0.0,0.0,0.10672918449469093,0.0,0.0,0.04287311346781013,0.2791377901306861,0.3130439307344936,0.03503891878672508,0.0,0.03941665486973092,0.0,0.05109917637157066,0.0,0.0,0.08480173724814442,0.0,0.04816912848446482,0.0,0.0,0.039619716331833886,0.0,0.03140929794438379,0.056905561113324364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893112909267165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041138698238759416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218929970658646,0.05229701715286377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21095299783938906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950580193483015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127210887047284,0.05323932933188765,0.0,0.06806384821857274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412793621865177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075940780290107,0.0,0.08784891557119462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04615647958049785,0.0,0.0,0.05476890304539245,0.0,0.0,0.2072176268367569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537789465555717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053655591255377895,0.056633830558510165,0.2099996702519639,0.05812269627517791,0.054557771924920735,0.055982305984115084,0.1053760637329616,0.07278757813763301,0.050345243026674966,0.0,0.045497716247440194,0.0,0.043268210696303266,0.0,0.0,0.04380490237466473,0.0,0.0,0.0343934867189536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572329076664877,0.10381248369274508,0.10385061264924322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041126941738021054,0.0,0.03787696776667873,0.07641060055370084,0.039739428714810635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05048377909053963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05487268131888416,0.13965929943452973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918665593519015,0.0,0.04498983765176003,0.10766578373499867,0.05655922255824605,0.0,0.058086947575641486,0.14804076338780528,0.0,0.0,0.14790804047915704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033008377488344814,0.0,0.050874942057547834,0.0,0.0,0.0880045185079396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211786411217019,0.04690662823067391,0.0,0.2328353454778618,0.0,0.04262219724287307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731430916112454,0.0,0.0,0.05767826916335168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272046303335875,0.058470212912010475,0.0,0.0,0.03874055560310733,0.0,0.13510594895143554,0.0,0.11784716684970463,0.23929902269136386,0.034231068927754266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008954423801174,0.0,0.0,0.04923455902297666,0.0,0.10494673345091013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044501249659987,0.0,0.12754111638706214,0.0,0.0,0.04133042625735885,0.0,0.09265472753308963,0.0,0.0,0.05752607185351684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502195259428758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130439307344936,0.0
mentalhealth,green5719,2019/02/24,"How to get your life back? I am a 20 year old guy who used to be very happy and confident in myself. I've always had a good group of friends and always had set high goals for myself but an incident happened about a couple months ago that has changed my attitude and my outlook on everything. I realize that I have been acting different and I've had no desire to do anything anymore. I don't even want to do anything with my friends anymore and just make up excuses to not do anything. All i want to do is sleep because I do not get any enjoyment out of things I used to anymore. It seems that I am a totally different person and that I've also lost my ability to think straight and communicate with people. I think this depression that I am in has affected everything in my life and I do not know how I am ever going to get back. I feel like I can't add anything to conversations and feel out of the loop with everything. I am also in a fraternity at my school that you would think would be a place to feel safe and secure in. But I don't feel apart of it anymore and I dont feel apart of anything. I don't even come around anymore because I fear I don't have anything to add to it and have a social anxiety even around people that I know. Because of this, I've just been going back and forth to school without making much contact or conversation with other people which has made me feel more alone and sad, but I realize that I've done this to myself. It's weird because I've been someone that has been fairly well liked but now I feel like no one likes me or wants to be with me. I use to talk to a lot of girls at school, being in a fraternity and all having that platform helps and I still talk to this one girl that I really like and she really likes me. She is the only one that I talk to on an everyday basis which I am very grateful for. She honestly gives me a lot of strength to keep going and gives me a lot of encouragement as well as my one friend in my fraternity who also reaches out to me all the time. I think a big problem is that I don't have a sense of belonging anymore because I've isolated myself so much everybody and everything and I dont know how to get back my confidence again. My one friend that I do everything with is someone I feel comfortable around and can be around other people with him, but when I am not there with this person then I feel a sense of lossness and uneasieness which is not good. There is 100 people in my fraternity so why am I so shy around them and not able to act normal? Is it too late to try to still make a connection with these guys even if I haven't made a strong connection with them yet? I am not really sure, but this has pretty much been my life in a nutshell and I really want a fresh start. I know things can be worse for me, but I think the worst part about everything is that I feel like I cannot connect with anyone anymore. I have become very self conscious and feel like I have lost my identity as a person. I don't know who I am anymore or what I really stand for. This has affected my grades and my ability to concentrate because this sense of not feeling loved or out of place has controlled my thinking at all times. I've even thought about taking a semester off from school if it gets bad enough although I really don't want to because I feel like it will just make things worse in the end. Again, I just don't know what to do anymore. I know the logical thing would to just put myself out there again and stop isolating myself but its not so easy. I know I need to force myself to do this, even when I'm with the girl I like I feel out of place. She is great because shes the complete opposite of me (outgoing, overly friendly, and cheerful) and somehow she has really started to like me. Although we aren't dating, we still have sex and have an intimate relationship that could potentially lead to that. That makes me happy and its definently something I don't want to lose along with the few friends that I still talk to at the moment. I want to have a lot of friends and just be comfortable with myself again, where do I start and how do I get back on the right path slowly and gradually. I should also say that I was someone that would like to drink and smoke almost every weekend and along with being in a fraternity, there are parties about 1-2 times a week. Some people have asked about me since I haven't been around at all for a while now which makes me feel good. At the same time, I just don't feel like I have an identity anymore and the thought of harming myself has definently crossed my mind. I have avoided this fraternity scene for a month now and have not wanted to drink or smoke either, mostly spending my weekends not wanting to do anything. I just want my life back and some advice. ANything I would really appreciate, I know I went on a tangent I kind of just wrote what was going through my head. Thank you for reading.",5.9458886975437375,5.36924613758724,6.4515935828877,81.2887997824708,66.68693918245265,9.886768784555429,31.197480286413487,9.339509955726095,2.448825882352942,3888,130,816,65,55,1269,312,1003,0.099,0.737,0.165,0.9976,2,2,5,0,0,0,60.0,2,3,2,9,68,55,0,2,43,0,103,10,2,19,8,212,186,75,0,23,37,0,16,13,7,7,4,1,0,9,57,73,2,6,38,5,1,11,31,13,2,5,20,17,128,42,129,150,23,104,0,6,0,2,52,47,0,17,57,615,185,14,0.03487415774250816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034078623327645025,0.030913836652462383,0.0,0.03492143141747312,0.036119109925559605,0.0,0.11155540538799047,0.0580361859045912,0.0,0.0,0.02371562315073124,0.0,0.026678635218251385,0.0,0.34585793514839946,0.02438482195811753,0.0,0.2295876828101512,0.18627236484980805,0.032602629823997836,0.0,0.0,0.16089644790420166,0.02911846502045225,0.1700717029568285,0.03851576730317946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036892234743277436,0.030040998926210236,0.03656489088440275,0.0,0.03911433331804567,0.027844177221350176,0.03858759222500384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03003706096201835,0.0,0.0,0.07287214450962823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03568837141953652,0.08174450629009103,0.0683267957142846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030888152561441524,0.03603432739799814,0.0,0.13820431369746985,0.0315456722613092,0.029382982008153105,0.0,0.1880558656817635,0.0,0.0,0.03924312305330504,0.2821347520929329,0.1494846315566042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188605814339412,0.0,0.10932184825608518,0.06690893974859888,0.07927915008139177,0.08775236676362609,0.0,0.03844888202770741,0.0,0.06906179814470563,0.030839102518025338,0.07424837879845628,0.0,0.0,0.03579094703856567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023375412819107967,0.036846462379084566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03099775377229842,0.0,0.03631606870884114,0.17249332551539254,0.0,0.03933956894494013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853059585962458,0.22149077484611746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03901526204979209,0.07613852561568492,0.1185950472039914,0.031475288940637926,0.06599754255563803,0.13967262657238275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03521295781507778,0.0,0.05567243998239526,0.0,0.07690955583828714,0.025858746077221568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03416927010286623,0.0,0.0,0.03659456208599074,0.0,0.11815815918309926,0.02652336845291161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03776531437327349,0.0,0.14506409947613028,0.0913523081453602,0.10930821676444233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03547955591015362,0.0,0.033369859101700136,0.0,0.03505816083822245,0.0,0.0,0.03488359518487339,0.0,0.17873022762956822,0.0,0.0,0.03744179412625714,0.0,0.029782340162941387,0.0,0.027733329983040504,0.0,0.1411780379113659,0.0,0.03174812342701532,0.036381352296627485,0.0,0.0,0.028848263664205075,0.0,0.03489934344215505,0.03554981201224378,0.08864628205292327,0.02684783042737569,0.0,0.0,0.0740523250393563,0.0,0.11140218968781224,0.0291563574341504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032868480953609905,0.0,0.02622102647988456,0.11212210793524574,0.0,0.03210743895844149,0.0,0.0,0.0926753631501769,0.13407571274776708,0.0,0.05537237153266037,0.08134160732081616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02367726390732663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036022541934426,0.0,0.08632449736448684,0.20569681794802008,0.0,0.02797394576427288,0.0,0.06271211205697745,0.03232869361654053,0.03146850303437162,0.0,0.0,0.03361744357655668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710794922445279,0.123868005359053,0.0,0.0,0.022457814192000332
mentalhealth,northboundstar,2019/02/24,"control issues / recommendations? i struggle a lot with managing my anger and wanting to control other people (even over the littlest things, it's as simple as having a difference of opinion and i get angry and controlling)

i was looking into some work books today, and i was wondering if anyone had any reccommendations? or any coping skill advice for managing the desire to control others/unreasonable anger and frustration?",8.755633802816902,10.93513611267606,9.22687323943662,54.202281690140865,61.112676056338024,10.75042253521127,38.14366197183098,10.793553405168565,5.16924,348,17,41,9,5,116,54,71,0.218,0.747,0.035,-0.9318,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,6,1,4,3,1,4,0,4,0,0,4,0,19,8,9,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,5,0,9,5,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,35,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086872085083896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23781818608023084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226442647344238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7844701984268408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826888662476689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549172663907717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135582440724943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18250579586943816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14683625721108956,0.0,0.0,0.14865758968725934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122417074849852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827990199001296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161675502822607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657444601573581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313548123099872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18962549491823635,0.12729833924648692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatthecheesyfuck,2019/02/24,"Guy I knew in college thinks he's king of the UK and is generally delusional. Is he likely to harm someone? Advice? [https://imgur.com/a/kYzf0V9](https://imgur.com/a/kYzf0V9)

​

So the Imgur album is a sample of this guy's posts from the last few days. I originally posted to /r/insanepeoplefacebook, but felt bad because that's mostly used for comedy and this guy's problems might be more serious.

​

In summary, I knew this guy a little bit in college. He was a year or two above me. He studied philosophy, and he was just kind of a weird (though harmless) personality. Just a bit grandiose. He went for some positions in student government, though never really got that far, and I think he overall had an inflated sense of himself. Never graduated.

​

His posts just started to get weirder and weirder over the years. I remember in 2014, he said that he was going to walk around campus while reading out loud from Thoreau, and anyone was welcome to join him. Then he started claiming he went to Yale (he didn't) on FB, then he started claiming he went to Oxford, Harvard, MIT, and a bunch of other prestigious places (he didn't), and to have some European ancestry. Gradually this devolved, and now he claims to be King of the UK, to be genetically superior, to have an IQ of above 230, et cetera, et cetera. Not too sure what he actually does, but he occasionally tries to sell lumber from his backyard and has claimed to start a business. People rarely interact with his FB posts, though he posts several times a day.

​

Anyway, I'm a bit afraid, from the content of his posts, that he might get to the point where he can hurt himself or others. Talking to him isn't the most useful thing; he messaged me a few times last year (before he used the N word so frequently in his posts), and you can't really reason him out of his delusions (though he never gets angry when contradicted). Is there any recourse to take? Like, can he be committed? Or a mental health professional that might be able to reach out to him? Does anyone have any experience with stuff like this?",6.7335937500000025,7.8441677968749985,6.594670833333336,75.13991250000002,65.04166666666666,9.477333333333334,32.28708333333333,9.592334608150935,3.0060565833333337,1670,65,293,32,25,527,197,384,0.075,0.852,0.07200000000000001,0.4033,0,0,0,0,0,0,92.0,0,1,0,2,16,15,0,1,22,0,27,1,0,5,5,52,50,26,0,1,9,0,1,3,0,3,1,2,1,5,15,17,0,0,7,1,1,5,8,7,0,1,15,4,20,8,47,27,13,52,0,1,0,0,48,17,0,10,26,180,35,8,0.06397708821928133,0.0,0.06243240929609259,0.0,0.0,0.06251767016488813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772765934249848,0.3109566593107639,0.08701322771389412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946853524863098,0.0,0.0,0.05695317244553112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053418196338339725,0.038999839164609904,0.0,0.05443978993940643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20953923124464185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251985841796483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197356206936504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625818685191936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142803763770701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027616411290899,0.0,0.036359653587594166,0.0,0.05116832186719364,0.0,0.0,0.2533895032022792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800465307357649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684887961443522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662229232079835,0.0,0.10429973161386284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376792108917237,0.06412184977985542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447385735329507,0.20360874115572256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480292234912767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044353657504597035,0.05586232572174656,0.06684244036004351,0.0,0.06047902758962631,0.0,0.4289065592941705,0.0,0.0,0.061217433131358974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399440132795117,0.0,0.08197072188048446,0.06577910205841744,0.0,0.0,0.07247356936445241,0.0,0.06085686150232297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227589933362916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420757923469862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18113324931949304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323845962682596,0.0,0.0,0.060297648508933786,0.0,0.04810280829403156,0.05142236010162849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0425035346214671,0.08198786969863225,0.2514286573840993,0.0,0.0746111092615555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04343624333452638,0.0,0.06249631895573235,0.0,0.0,0.16576698872131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792220521487884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109566593107639,0.12359744172595748
mentalhealth,wastegift,2019/02/24,"Having very hard time (21f) I don't know what to do i feel like everyone is aginst me i have made so many stupid decisions and impuslive mistakes in my life and i am at the point now where i just signed a lease for an apartment a week and 2 days ago with my boyfriend maybe ex boyfriend idk and a friend and i am alrady moved back in with my mom and i went there last night and i thought everyone was talking about me while i was in the bathroom and i freaked out nad panicked really bad and now im scared they hate me and iwoke up at 3pm today and i am supposed to unpack my stuff but i am so confused and scared and i feel like my life is just going to shit i have seriously done some of the mosst stupid stuff i had an opportunity to go to college early when i was 17 and i fucked it up and i'm 4k in debt and i just deactived all my social media and i think i should maybe go to the hspital because i just want to fucking die at this point i dont know whats real or whats not i dont know if everyone is lying to me or if my brain is lying to me and im so scared i am seriously so fucking scared i cant eat or sleep or do anything at all what should i do should i go to the hospital.

​

sorry for wall of text im in a really really bad fucked up place i cant think or type clearly sorry thank yooui also i am in michigan usa ",-0.3666270083384191,1.5811549161073837,2.1076571079926802,96.03568537726255,87.08724832214762,5.357087655074233,19.097417124262762,6.714681859716394,-0.013455480984339907,1047,30,255,13,33,358,142,298,0.263,0.6779999999999999,0.059,-0.9966,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,16,24,8,5,11,0,29,10,3,1,3,56,51,33,1,7,13,2,3,2,1,3,2,0,0,0,8,21,1,0,9,0,1,6,6,19,0,0,8,3,42,5,31,40,3,39,0,0,0,4,6,20,5,9,15,167,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910825040801127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071367338216635,0.0,0.0966944054964256,0.10843962317844724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343912091260041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862211158958645,0.1490278187228095,0.05440150884569209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996243441776696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057554145143037735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261981128159573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091326245093746,0.20918351047056735,0.0,0.0,0.0913175401566263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558256128116806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024755996920283,0.12750997553051174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894867248006077,0.330013675083037,0.0,0.0,0.20287468447477525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994391140580848,0.08810866962116443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28919222257639643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471363275716793,0.07274469451073727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606948690551611,0.08719893035189294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444358074184442,0.0,0.0904780693933099,0.17931253233151792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451994714622743,0.0,0.09485084454668513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837482088503555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323960530109858,0.0,0.16872635502463984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157770650028597,0.17151343622138035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573899610755281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916063276223867,0.0,0.0,0.0893071290741028,0.09097167272501264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19979974564540331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432303284210165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717298849907472,0.0,0.08216266876347134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436621058419708,0.0,0.07084871868439238,0.05203812384132444,0.0,0.08459162489390577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363455648924967,0.05263764431862242,0.0,0.0715850941214039,0.0,0.0,0.0827288575899703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843962317844724,0.0
mentalhealth,ruthandmaud,2019/02/24,"Thinking about work gives me anxiety Thinking about going to work, seeing a new message in the work WA group gives me bad anxiety. The thing is...being at work is overall fine. I don't have anxiety there and thinking about coming back during a shift is fine.

I'm neuroatypical and work at a bakery. Dealing with so many customers has really worn me out and sometimes I struggle dealing with it.",4.785990990990992,6.829322824324329,5.325405405405405,78.84909909909912,70.75675675675676,7.636036036036036,31.25225225225225,8.344100000000001,2.6063225225225217,315,14,53,5,6,101,48,74,0.179,0.773,0.048,-0.8313,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,5,6,4,0,1,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,10,15,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,1,5,2,10,14,0,8,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,0,2,33,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722157408807401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471109075318795,0.13541860921334808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970895413304618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33441347094081864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31116734890836073,0.09217409156095363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644312374233996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664033472595146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390056117733733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924131407173034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040618841657378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695521138666311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774923040520908,0.3117668897869155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5903670195481746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alwaysworking1979,2019/02/24,Anyone feel mental illness is a Diagnosis from keeping you from actually knowing the truth?? Please tell me you guy that think your sick actually believe the shit these doctors say just so they can sweep the lies they tell you under the mat so they can just fatten their pockets and also keep you from learning truthfully what they don’t want you to know??,15.622727272727275,8.960143393939399,13.192121212121213,59.25818181818183,54.45454545454546,15.624242424242425,49.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,5.499721212121212,288,11,50,4,2,89,49,66,0.112,0.713,0.175,0.6072,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,6,5,0,5,3,1,0,5,0,4,4,1,0,2,13,11,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,3,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,12,2,5,11,0,1,0,0,0,0,15,1,1,0,0,35,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.4302234909222625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628095692754142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413254908927784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483535855363593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22562349705462595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145803268895453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182642754377196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918636611882787,0.0,0.0,0.2422894774302053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221455834917988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419702912967964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529793132638166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22627229062226895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853379914011648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124517983816126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001765993754666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SomebodyGetMeATaco,2019/02/24,"Feeling like I should kill myself before it can get any worse Idk, it's all in the title.

I won't actually do it because my sister wants me at her wedding, but cutting doesn't feel like enough anymore. ",3.7838211382113833,4.9800330731707385,4.993658536585368,83.60235772357726,71.92682926829268,6.442276422764228,28.300813008130078,6.42735559955562,1.3076276422764224,160,6,31,1,3,53,36,41,0.182,0.6729999999999999,0.145,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,6,9,1,1,2,1,1,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,6,2,2,7,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,20,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.2882176827274637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20084721333912445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29290650321215694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800417987628606,0.0,0.25131995195142376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30517411229037994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986743084075521,0.4219942762955111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430748217299334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32675952721728496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28858486839552805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420428894069007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009855117897915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ashworthxx,2019/02/24,"feeling too ugly for clubbing i'll go out with my friends next friday but i've recently gained 2kg (i weigh 61 kg /134 lbs and my height is 172 cm / 5'6 ) and it may sound silly to you but i feel absolutely disgusting. i've never liked how i look, always been self-conscious but now.. i feel bigger than ever. as if i was too ugly for going out, as if i had no right to do so, as if i was hideous. i want to dress up but just thinking about my body makes the tears flow. ",1.5223529411764716,2.573394715686277,3.4962254901960783,92.70551470588238,77.33333333333334,6.276470588235295,21.573529411764707,6.6274283507984215,0.21327058823529432,359,9,86,3,8,122,72,102,0.183,0.731,0.086,-0.9258,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,8,4,1,0,1,0,7,2,1,2,2,23,16,14,0,4,8,0,3,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,4,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,4,5,12,3,14,11,0,14,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,4,6,53,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225624840937886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30119495982859823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452775686513028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113162820649498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20949568518336548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308210220020502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247390416841767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277040869296821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809998001682234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20913345352148469,0.0,0.2883791783907859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677354122666357,0.0,0.0,0.2315671044637025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828765087535637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17374683794738896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599357749223828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grittypokes,2019/02/24,"The difference between excentric and crazy So, all my adult life I've been saying I'm only crazy because I don't have enough money to be excentric. 

History is full of rich people who would have super weird behaviour, like being so painfully shy they never talked to anyone and ordered their house staff to act like they were invisible if they came across the rich person in the hallway. Scientists who contributed in a major way to our understanding of the world who seemed to go into an autistic preoccupation tailspin and studied nothing but alchemy for a decade. Stuff like that. A lifestyle that wouldn't have worked if they weren't rich.

So, a lot of people who have mental health issues might be able to live in some sort of comfort if they were rich. It also seems to me that quite a lot of people who are poor wouldn't have half the issues they are dealing with if they had enough money for basics like proper housing and a therapist.

Sometimes I have certain urges and I wonder if it's me being excentric or being crazy. I got this fascination with tattooing so I decided to tattoo myself and everyone who heard about it called me crazy for it. I did it anyway, it turned out good and now they are fans and want me to tattoo them too. So basically, it would have been considered excentric or crazy, depending on how the tattoo came out. But that's artistic merit, not anything objective like you shouldn't stab yourself repeatedly with a needle ever. My therapist wrote it down as a tendency to self harm until I showed the result and now it says I'm trying to get a paid job by teaching myself tattooing. Isn't that weird? It's self harm unless it's pretty?

I have always had a strong urge to run away and even though I have a semi stable place to live, I want to go for it now that I have my drivers license. I got into the vanlife hype, but then I had some financial setbacks and now I'm going to use a car instead of a van. And now people are calling me crazy again, for wanting to sleep in a car as I travel around Europe. I understand for most people sleeping in a hipster Volkswagen seems like travel and sleeping in a car seems like you're homeless and deprived of basic comfort... But it still feels weird that a van is slightly excentric and a car is batshit crazy. A tent would be just as big, backpacking would be less comfortable, but it's just not something you do, I guess. It's frowned upon. 

Does this make sense to anyone? Like how people decide what's crazy seems arbitrary to you?

I have autism and to wind down I watch the same movies over and over and over. Probably seen each one at least 300 times now (there's about 20 I use for this). It's just on in the background while I write in my diary or hang out with my dog. If it was a cd, nobody would think it weird. But because it's a movie, my therapist has written it down as proof I have OCD. I could go on.

If I won the lottery I think my mental health issues wouldn't influence my life so much and most of my labels wouldn't be applicable anymore. 

Do you feel the same about yours? ",5.275401991947444,5.9473834611570275,5.731735537190088,81.5989086670905,68.10743801652893,8.585293494384404,28.40538249629159,8.617729084823388,1.996578300487392,2434,78,471,36,39,783,268,605,0.081,0.7829999999999999,0.136,0.9895,5,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,1,5,10,5,31,29,0,0,34,0,54,8,3,8,5,108,92,53,0,21,22,0,2,8,0,11,5,3,0,4,38,32,0,0,14,5,8,15,11,8,0,2,20,7,56,21,76,52,17,63,0,1,2,0,35,31,0,26,23,343,94,4,0.07095692623861498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05674422827698904,0.059041846871374086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037020413385234,0.09922946531350196,0.0,0.0583915043724393,0.063166708094332,0.0,0.0,0.06666636796035716,0.0,0.0,0.08650936727336285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490991029916275,0.16231164095227624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665333178389679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315347524383645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413488550745279,0.0,0.0,0.062094884321699774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663494557296594,0.0,0.046866380569895685,0.06418460214351987,0.0,0.0678023838132672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175590784665196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707206532054777,0.0,0.161305825537647,0.05951530320038712,0.11350147190318485,0.0,0.07816705400643352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508477889923754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16374953204016335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218178741475425,0.07041380045849292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023795089589076,0.2773277598992053,0.0,0.12531253171969842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065008248875145,0.0,0.0,0.04736429925383767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301578480272173,0.07527408550909792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05216150519395542,0.0,0.05472635587096725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808508444483448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048082249598970304,0.05396593984602139,0.07550317235316405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295155590061817,0.061956851055325834,0.07413488550745279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218870346012622,0.0765035677406937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547142531546007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285559149485247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32298260345930746,0.14804709839493888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21302451144642212,0.0,0.0,0.05462610846025063,0.0701782144138961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056666292952956165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122870424734761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570324895100038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471593811029321,0.0,0.09093266643719684,0.06971481976144685,0.0,0.04137555431022167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048175095181053264,0.07718075995331518,0.0,0.14773732528961092,0.0,0.1225680038368319,0.0,0.0,0.1255567005783041,0.056322305275158635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694975968595405,0.05165748739462448,0.0,0.0,0.2520288227312056,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eitris-Gift,2019/02/24,"I was doing well with losing weight until I realised it doesn't matter because I'll kill myself soon... I've not had a decent night's sleep in 2 weeks, even though the last 3 nights I've been taking zopiclone. I'm in such a foul mood that everything is pissing me off, from road signs to cooking shows, my wife, my dog...I just can't handle it.

The other night, instead of sleeping I sat in a hot bath with a kitchen knife. 4 hours later I still hadn't worked up the courage to end it, so I got out of the now freezing water, got dressed and went to work, pretending like everything was fine...

Today I've said screw the diet because it doesn't matter how fat my corpse is.",6.2881397738951685,4.9172594172661865,6.41615621788284,84.4296402877698,66.33812949640287,8.806166495375129,30.648509763617678,6.868970318607317,1.6040351490236384,525,15,113,3,7,168,97,139,0.141,0.789,0.07,-0.815,0,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,3,11,9,3,0,9,0,11,10,4,1,0,10,18,5,1,0,2,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,6,4,6,0,0,4,0,1,5,4,1,0,10,4,10,4,15,8,0,21,0,1,0,1,2,7,2,0,14,64,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20707957863603907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504378566466794,0.0,0.0,0.11218519619896172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053028320672521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271691236649685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726933811322736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791532209859493,0.0,0.0,0.1384514970900824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829807763512666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19002018290359465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781818786344542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615675026738137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399479729563425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356434850631218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770705579957048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668780613695805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609991929530372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624448514221105,0.20683315184319215,0.152716736698185,0.15745387705481376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24730757050327246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ironic_speling,2019/02/24,Im not a psychopath but i can relate to them what does this mean? I still have morals and feelings and all that stuff but i dont get worried or stress and cant understand why people stress about things. When i was told i was having a another little brother i was happy but had to fake a reaction so that i wouldnt come across as rude or strange and when he was born people found it weird that i would barely look at him or talk to him or hold which i find weird cause hes just a baby you look at them once youve seen all there is to see. My friends think im weird cause i never tell them important stuff happening in my life (such as that i was having a brother) or other things like going on holidays. I never get excited for things either which is the weirdest too me because i used to get super excited for things and now i never do. Im 17 atm and the most traumatic thing thats happened to me was my other brother nearly choking to death about 5 years ago and i cant remember if i had these feelings before this happening or as a result to this happening. Can someone tell me whats wrong with me?,3.5028017241379317,4.2334793663793135,4.713275862068965,87.09681034482759,72.14655172413794,7.8689655172413815,25.70689655172414,8.07648339933343,1.353968965517241,871,26,188,12,16,288,122,232,0.209,0.6990000000000001,0.092,-0.9808,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,3,1,11,14,1,2,8,0,22,1,0,4,5,43,43,23,1,3,13,3,2,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,23,9,0,1,8,1,1,2,8,8,0,0,11,6,30,6,22,30,4,19,1,0,4,0,16,7,0,8,11,138,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321138222229887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026160667215974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410001243020863,0.0,0.08947706674084185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21604124848448544,0.0,0.090579602419799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201969641728944,0.0,0.12323799381549545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633656746967207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610751661629133,0.0,0.0,0.11529433269700128,0.08124059160848543,0.0,0.16481358651150224,0.0,0.059760611757542825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37194417561514204,0.11193683419779728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407483625949941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427234877469324,0.05137221961353602,0.10539046970394897,0.0,0.0,0.17660330061352714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454194264916895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24330036402907504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198402335663403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457990626766383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911732962577345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379296028285614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890954059602583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397495432328192,0.0,0.24090375873160375,0.0,0.2407490016886501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451762859309782,0.18381590959714897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492933760655286,0.06737750179720799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047775824078704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946750260634187,0.0,0.0908180329727821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488381197313292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678750865706242,0.0,0.07469734748512227,0.11496779543372675,0.0,0.06771478823742741
mentalhealth,Aste81,2019/02/24,"Schizophrenia -19 y/o brother Hello. So just recently (few hours ago) we found out that my younger brother might have schizophrenia. It's taken us all by surprise. He has some more evaluations coming today-but I don't know what to do. I want to support my parents and other brother but feel dumbfounded and sad. I live in another state- with my husband and won't be sharing this info with him yet as this is not my news to share. I just don't know what to do- and I'd appreciate some help and guidance. Thank you all in advance.

**Just some more background info- he's always been a little quieter than the rest of us and a bit socially awkward/bullied. He's had some life events in the past few months that we're hard on him(not getting into a program he worked hard for). He doesn't make friends that easily but is a caring and loving person. Up until now we thought it was ADHD/depression. He was driving recklessly and would come home at strange hours-and leave at strange hours. This is what promoted my parents to take him to the hospital and they diagnosed him there with a 40 questions-evaluation and said Schizophrenia. We have a family friend who is a child psychiatrist and will be talking with him today to further evaluate him. My question is-will my brother ever bounce back from this? He's changed in the last few months and I miss him, worry about him, and want him to have a normal life ",2.9665223311546853,5.430140330882356,3.652859477124185,86.81643246187366,77.67647058823529,6.382570806100218,27.35348583877996,7.526774132740827,1.6521057734204807,1118,47,211,16,27,353,156,272,0.1,0.7609999999999999,0.139,0.9242,2,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,5,1,1,3,10,11,0,0,12,0,23,4,0,1,3,52,42,18,0,4,6,7,3,0,2,4,3,1,1,2,14,24,0,0,8,0,0,4,5,2,0,0,8,4,27,9,30,28,13,32,0,2,0,1,43,12,0,6,15,143,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645625357614472,0.0,0.10802464600728906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014001999887211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778451241661287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370551458924774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304338711852082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424796701978034,0.0,0.12891543173250605,0.20994924125347764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496085988935122,0.12368889425526546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023251877144308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488206869234067,0.0,0.061617850656620336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361704525030274,0.18830288620760108,0.0,0.06366865260309207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21833153142711856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168253987514201,0.0,0.12223903352263372,0.0,0.24002201344410176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394599272739965,0.0993350229957175,0.0,0.1290358580624112,0.0,0.0,0.17215159765320492,0.0,0.12213924856472565,0.10760770919948233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998657280925768,0.0,0.0813448371140528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927792284714795,0.0,0.0,0.19454057705843708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940036264944034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706300055864934,0.0,0.1163325064401825,0.0,0.10640651369473723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136515017455863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032551130029805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159201014852268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422449860950595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13828926343575396,0.0,0.0,0.09162619105744883,0.09794927070570536,0.0,0.11219554423730888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674601216027444,0.0,0.0,0.2310247107530557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29317358818718003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437565074401125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871808438074788,0.12375830661075438,0.0,0.08656833883784441,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LadyStSauver,2019/02/24,"I feel insane... Like I am slowly losing my mind. Over the past six months my mental health has deteriorated and spiraled out of control. I have continued to have old symptoms and have some new ones. Went to dr, got threatened with hospitalization. Got slapped with a BPD diagnosis and more meds than I can count (that only fixed half the symptoms) while I patiently wait to see the psychiatric specialist this week. AND my worsing symptoms have made me lose my job, and as a single mom that is catastrophic. ",5.003043478260867,7.446604304347828,5.312391304347828,77.45815217391308,71.17391304347827,8.078260869565218,28.89130434782609,8.841846274778883,2.4624739130434783,404,16,71,8,8,128,68,92,0.122,0.851,0.027000000000000003,-0.8402,1,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,5,0,8,5,0,2,0,14,15,7,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,8,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,4,2,10,1,10,11,3,10,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,1,8,48,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20969779086363785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867411199693988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418614597065087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663265442044318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769790720312737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522309205299962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813422754210107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725362603951848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157543973865738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184941204319386,0.0,0.16779033388079265,0.0,0.16811502643684512,0.19499987656840226,0.13289672751427425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080433691815832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747111334651032,0.0,0.11282302474624885,0.12662886236572085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894071708021584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267696247008132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5191640046604085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355426307556315,0.0,0.0,0.15434486391501595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16967519145309748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Facepalmed,2019/02/24,"National Day of Unplugging is coming up! Help spread the awareness to go offline for 24 hours. We all can appreciate the effect screen time on our mental and physical health. Technology is great but much of it is in fact designed to addict us, keep us glues to the dopamine hits. Let's take 24 hours offline and gain some perspective. 

Time: March 1.-2. , 24 hours, sundown to sundown

https://vimeo.com/318432385

Come visit [r/OfflineDay](https://www.reddit.com/r/OfflineDay)

Join the event on [FB](https://www.facebook.com/events/2070494416365165/)

PM me if you want more material to share, we have a press kits and several videos ready.

Thank you all and looking forward to unplugging!",7.765921601334442,11.475676100917433,5.162618849040868,75.69837364470393,67.80733944954129,8.734278565471227,31.01000834028357,9.339509955726095,3.336387155963304,561,23,83,13,11,156,81,109,0.025,0.764,0.211,0.9697,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,5,2,0,2,0,3,0,0,5,0,6,2,0,1,3,17,15,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,0,1,1,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,8,3,13,13,5,18,0,0,2,0,10,6,0,2,9,44,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19674992261397806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109352092162827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163947182250863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257098631105832,0.0,0.0,0.19897992085387603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918418810755129,0.0,0.0,0.12097199053332584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5332095595190846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041898403743138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845531055287875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155780870525867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818814671617869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267362210584785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038911141798817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569855607023795,0.0,0.0,0.1661618056454133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21047876730407167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4341906188153903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645182485591163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yatyear,2019/02/24,"NEED HELP!! For many years I've been suffering this strange sensation; it comes and goes, suddenly I feel like my hands, my eyes, me, everything is moving WAY too fast. Everything is also much much nosier and makes me feel strange and panicked.....What is IT?  More info about my situation...I'm having it RIGHT now!!! I don't know  what to do...I'm seeing my fingers moving strangely and so so fast on  the keyboard!!! I'm 27 years old, been suffering this thing since I was a  teen. I have this strange feeling like I'm in a dream...Even thinking  while having this thing is strange! I feel super uncomfortable doing  anything. It's like a super case of OCD that makes me feel uncomfortable  from EVERYTHING!!! ",2.951472191930208,5.6338252213740505,3.4623391494002216,86.90543893129772,79.2290076335878,6.79629225736096,25.387677208287894,7.957251820313856,1.6497432933478735,548,21,104,10,14,171,79,131,0.161,0.695,0.14300000000000002,0.4217,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,4,0,12,3,3,2,0,16,26,8,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,0,8,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,3,9,12,5,7,23,3,15,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,11,60,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284642486612491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219354576097664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837767314516705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610161685510687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43312030299428783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4061236300337566,0.22952338720576426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767402384524932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828388561956764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354426832702608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144577273061005,0.16286437879537818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34147112065711466,0.2361786837974735,0.11911298693518667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685653118148349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718621483555266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800977880371625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288358386272098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134449846708651,0.10293202522374947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750904981426747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068945895873082
mentalhealth,Isonomic_Insomniac,2019/02/24,"So what do you do when you need professional help, but you are jobless and uninsured? I am 19 years old (live in wonderful of Texas), I live with my parents who do not have health insurance. I have not seen a doctor since I was required by the state for school when I was 12.

So I have been struggling with undiagnosed mental problems for a long time. I have had social anxiety since I was a kid and it has only gotten worse through the years, I also had my childhood stutter return which is really affecting my confidence and ability to socially function. I've also been suicidal probably since I was 14, and it's really gotten worse through the years. Based off internet research (so take it with a grain of salt), I think there is a good chance I have Borderline Personality Disorder; I suffer from most of the symptoms like regular self-harming (I cut everyday), unstable self-image and identity (especially when it comes to orientation and gender), dissociation (usually happens when I am talking to someone), I have volatile relationships with my few family members and friends, but at the same time I intensely fear that will leave me or kick me out. And I have intense episode of depression and anxiety that last for variable amounts of time, and of course I always feel empty and always like I should be doing something else. Regardless of what is specifically I could have, I know something is very wrong and I need professional help.

So my question is, honestly what do you do in a situation like this? I've been trying to find very low cost healthcare options, but I haven't found anything that I could possibly afford (which is very little), especially since these problems are really affecting my ability to land any sort of job (I really am trying, despite what my parents say). Even then I imagine there's lots of mental things that are not covered regardless on cheap plans.

It just feel like there's no reason for me to be alive, because I'm tapped out in trying to improve myself, there's only so much I can do alone on my own. I just feel so hopeless, like the best case scenario in my life now is that I cope until I can't anymore, and then I kill myself. I feel like that time is coming soon. I just want to be able to hold a job, and live a life, but I don't think it's going to happen for me.",8.158757712875358,7.123916755656108,8.343644590703416,71.02689016865487,62.43891402714932,11.837268613739202,37.51172357054711,11.022393298168332,4.096575565610859,1834,77,336,42,22,603,215,442,0.17,0.688,0.142,-0.9507,6,1,2,0,0,2,54.0,0,4,0,3,22,22,2,2,14,0,50,5,0,3,0,65,72,34,2,10,11,2,4,6,1,2,5,1,0,2,22,22,0,2,13,0,2,3,7,12,0,0,13,7,54,10,43,52,8,40,0,4,1,0,18,13,0,7,29,237,76,8,0.07901597565323172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183672080532256,0.0,0.12637809436440742,0.13149524316264669,0.0,0.0,0.05373357301745765,0.0,0.12089401019697235,0.0,0.07836261562197508,0.0,0.0,0.06502341536515657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04816740535843951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292239154976852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361305329452507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617565394129807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805634404688515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055915372169472,0.08087619927465411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600770854973423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052189306701544834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448922960412076,0.08891494035874928,0.1598114058187891,0.11289805758961442,0.0,0.0,0.07221917025195808,0.0,0.0,0.08663693887101437,0.061047546782084475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044906599887605085,0.06627485149035799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397471326317717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399028716578485,0.0,0.0,0.10592548579015727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682232694155088,0.0,0.08741946986953633,0.0,0.0434251137727309,0.06440856627916854,0.0,0.08366650921055804,0.0,0.0,0.1116226407677907,0.231619286718436,0.07919476584616206,0.20931766242475686,0.06992665196536349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717655686234858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592590374052858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058085833799809077,0.11717868947815854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291397453028093,0.0,0.0,0.12019042016102492,0.0,0.0,0.17547578010527953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899370215214227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907864018051485,0.0,0.0,0.08519258607194724,0.15121523471907514,0.0,0.0,0.08851597638716881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20247862929260851,0.08124158306368359,0.0,0.08483358694818108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283667530848776,0.0,0.07996838582267951,0.0,0.0,0.16486179070056672,0.0,0.0,0.2614513263556623,0.08881726727383328,0.0,0.16109367292403576,0.06694997975445045,0.1216607168583071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260465396039632,0.0,0.0864306525528313,0.0,0.0,0.08212785338042915,0.05941018003172835,0.0635100481581066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249470318678817,0.1012604933466638,0.0,0.0,0.1842994033321733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093998217104258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702493388907923,0.19558936540897773,0.04660566967361274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568945500007412,0.0,0.0,0.16104805942859615,0.0,0.08639156524114333,0.0,0.15265109304047175
mentalhealth,riffgugshrell,2019/02/24,"What does it take? I hope somebody here can help me. I wake up immediately feeling like I’m fighting uphill. My current failings in life bombard my thoughts from the get-go and I’m not even out from the covers before I’m riddled with anxiety. I feel like an ingrate for complaining about my life. I have friends but I don’t feel like they really like being around me. Maybe because I don’t like the things I say, or do. I find myself always observing the most popular person in the group. I watch what they say and do so maybe I can get that reaction from people, and they’ll be enthused by my company. They tell you to love yourself, be yourself, and in turn people will like you. I observe myself and I don’t see things people my age want to be around. I’m not terrible looking, but I’m awkward and quiet. I fit in well enough at parties and people are more then willing to talk to me, but I feel like I’m dead all the time, and it shows. Anytime I start to have fun and feel myself merge with the people I’m around, my throat will tighten to remind me I’m not really a part of this culture. I just feel like I’ve whole-fully failed as a person. I was alienated when I was younger, and all I’ve ever wanted was to be somebody people acknowledge when they’re walking past. Somebody that has meaning. Because I can’t give that meaning to myself. I have no diagnosis for anything, but I’ve had panic attacks since I was young. I’m sorry if this doesn’t fit here, or isn’t the content you guys are looking for. I just figured someone who has their shit together more then me can help me.",2.972065527065528,4.509518438271608,4.238518518518518,86.86987179487181,74.49382716049381,6.7130104463437785,26.967711301044634,7.321109707123232,1.3626124406457731,1250,47,254,14,26,411,157,324,0.104,0.6970000000000001,0.199,0.9851,1,0,0,0,2,0,34.0,0,3,5,2,14,24,3,2,11,0,32,6,3,0,3,47,62,23,1,4,12,0,6,8,1,4,2,3,0,3,12,16,0,0,12,1,0,1,10,9,1,0,6,13,46,15,30,47,7,24,0,2,4,1,25,12,1,5,19,170,58,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691478756247246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071386681550244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760675756644878,0.2468649368987727,0.0,0.10516015676328176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269717934959568,0.0,0.07865687272016944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089202979582685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551188085757202,0.0,0.06105360682921367,0.0836143396632835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28043281337732684,0.3301841917194032,0.0,0.0,0.08448552212640482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141640988710603,0.0,0.09658878167696698,0.08867376114712308,0.05253393974466223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152692324948544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391682073129155,0.0,0.0,0.09181055773339017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058163162902348,0.3612794461578012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524719175868384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834277830151167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573029539598396,0.2013814563271604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845461883344557,0.0,0.1001000009554566,0.0882413448933223,0.3845040545045626,0.1614244231669045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843470823289465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701884011139055,0.0,0.0,0.0736601282528008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948850036761016,0.07646464138516015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832136503608778,0.0,0.0,0.10347538260782388,0.06542721304110448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950093807631627,0.07429716459204641,0.08079380075680097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228217491874659,0.0,0.0,0.07338446052031042,0.053900616913005066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054464875822848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090431895766392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311174659868206,0.0,0.0,0.10320233913589794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,princessbasement,2019/02/24,"Emotional Labor is Real Labor If you're an empathetic person and let people come to you with their worries, you are awesome. We need more people like you in the world. However, if someone in your life is abusing that privilege and is coming off like an energy vampire, it's probably because they are an energy vampire. 

Take care of yourself, and don't feel bad about taking a step back from relationships every now and again. ",6.8601265822784825,7.7811281772151935,7.599848101265824,68.71698734177215,64.69620253164557,10.370632911392406,33.52151898734177,10.355215969177356,3.789544810126583,342,14,54,8,5,114,61,79,0.061,0.66,0.28,0.9578,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,4,2,0,4,5,0,0,5,0,7,1,0,0,0,13,14,6,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,8,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,7,4,8,13,1,10,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,2,5,39,9,2,0.0,0.2489155696879337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154187676964338,0.1754116346007499,0.12806545345898496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141949688358165,0.0,0.0,0.3619380845099277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363165869649388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17700510311496187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622494611138084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148254540674577,0.14838877037116388,0.20527317704236647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557748636456358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912920351756301,0.18343752764295668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22650643283479102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391219530543025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255519411980843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800376525411693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31591453138175496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335082789277196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,highschoolgirl022,2019/02/24,"Way worse than people think Every day is hard. Getting out of bed is a challenge. Every moment I'm on edge, trying to pay attention to everything. The hopelessness is overwhelming. They say it gets better but I'm afraid it won't. I can't talk to anyone, people scare me. I feel so alone. I don't know what to do. I just want someone to notice something is wrong and reach out to me. But if they do I'll deny it. I want to get help, but I don't want anything to change. I'm lost.",-0.42162895927601696,1.7571394313725506,1.9307843137254888,95.19468325791857,90.9607843137255,4.707088989441932,16.669683257918553,6.297961479604792,-0.3207701357466064,370,9,83,4,13,125,64,102,0.231,0.657,0.112,-0.941,0,1,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,2,3,2,8,0,3,2,0,10,0,0,0,0,15,23,6,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,1,3,10,2,13,21,0,6,0,3,0,0,5,3,0,1,2,46,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19808577163696464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373215131155738,0.0,0.15738916809384412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915229865593198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20232577163710166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334568976112108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222864946603404,0.0,0.1718905003528745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670587154056658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997734815893346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17132974297584966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281963120118015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511048201157792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20878087290865152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21774868096385627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651886507426208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209616408253812,0.19148278179184214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205241693747027,0.1472398743475597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372606297393476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255050522264485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298517350234007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384270514180217,0.15181182378594074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19490840302874396,0.0,0.209110771977609,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OrangeMonster12,2019/02/24,"I feel nothing. On occasions I have these episodes of not caring like at all. They happen randomly and it’s something I have been aware of. Like if someone was sad, I would acknowledge that they are hurt, I would try to cheer them up, but honestly I don’t care. I never have done anything impulsive during these episodes, I continue doing what I usually do when my emotions are ‘turned on’.

These episodes lasts for a little more than 15 minutes usually  before I morph back to my emotions turning on again. During the aftermath I feel guilty and angry that I could be like this. No one knows I do this, but here I am. What do I do?",4.35821138211382,5.6970880731707325,4.897723577235773,84.29016260162601,70.70731707317074,8.393495934959349,29.92682926829269,8.841846274778883,2.3560829268292687,495,20,97,9,9,158,80,123,0.171,0.733,0.096,-0.8168,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,3,0,4,9,0,0,2,0,19,0,0,0,2,16,27,6,0,4,4,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,2,20,7,11,20,2,15,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,2,12,77,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847513773908074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939229440972455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318875274916582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431330503632471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435307081856607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220269267111693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785711297395885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701687485097213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880411411145178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18014076299921508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247897203253412,0.1371657430942008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24663048265955864,0.1686547230282531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978325783240235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146341060747602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140267956371566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257798696151078,0.12954552163847885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424697843439023,0.36606751205357824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706600042261752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23907399760979384,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Info2muchhh,2019/02/24,Addicted to trolling/ exploiting The title is a bit broad but I find myself addicted to messaging people and using anything I can say to exploit their character.. clearly in doing this I show how mine is flawed by the simple fact that I allow this craving for information come before empathy. I will say suggestive things and even try to see how far these 'venmo' girls let their morals slip to. At first I found it interesting to see how fucked up the world was and to see how many people are being influenced by social media and money and fame... Then I quickly realized how much the internet plays people into these roles and myself included. I'm drawn in constantly trying to understand people and their 'internet' personas. It's gotten to the point where I believe I'm doing more harm than good. I want to make a positive change but end up playing into what I want to fight to get information(as well as destroying my own reputation while doing so). Maybe getting a degree in psychology would help me understand it all or maybe I just need to accept that the world is so fucked up. Does anyone else have this same struggle or have their own views on this whole sex driven social media craze? ,6.866138996138999,7.759714198198202,7.071763191763193,72.60486486486488,64.67567567567568,10.306821106821108,30.72200772200773,10.290406445055957,3.25036833976834,960,33,161,22,14,310,139,222,0.134,0.725,0.141,-0.3169,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,4,2,12,12,4,1,9,0,15,5,0,9,3,39,35,21,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,13,10,0,0,7,3,1,2,0,6,1,1,4,6,20,6,28,27,8,24,1,0,4,3,15,16,2,2,6,118,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269740036718828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865059485903098,0.12676290009523206,0.10180872101637288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527423203427527,0.13938692787195284,0.0,0.0,0.13506714895413013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087640203258508,0.10657142025378608,0.0,0.13369435079573827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826576267207386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334985246362506,0.0,0.10957672531376483,0.0,0.0,0.08171404925713413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307528703199225,0.10523379415295513,0.0,0.13564953316737266,0.0,0.22874913098498276,0.12927427016255616,0.0,0.0,0.10376812457315243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292503685612826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650922755273344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258219719966625,0.1254298310014635,0.24858112885916397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094638316241148,0.09173474231667886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430797390588634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695275075021855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19676977932187492,0.0,0.0,0.2957597918091927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522282275104004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933608796892762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219221585897925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679917268081226,0.0,0.0,0.2575879538601925,0.0,0.10685194569201376,0.0,0.0,0.14594322967921644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123662807356903,0.0,0.0,0.13812584483652585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788515513444138,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,koffee0,2019/02/24,"I keep cutting & drinking and I don’t know how to stop I’m currently on anti depressants, but it feels like nothing is working. I’ve been seeing a counselor about my family issues, and the effects they’ve had. 

I have started over drinking (during the day) to numb everything. And sometimes I end up cutting just to feel something. I’m not sure what to do to control this. No one would even notice i’m dealing with this unless I told them.

I feel like I have no one to talk to that gets it. Everyone thinks i’m crazy or ignores me. What do i do?",2.210982142857141,4.079403848214287,3.7387142857142885,88.20628571428574,77.48214285714286,6.265714285714287,27.271428571428572,7.1686216300943375,1.4058542857142862,429,18,87,5,10,142,74,112,0.221,0.722,0.057,-0.9312,1,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,4,8,2,0,3,0,10,3,0,3,1,22,24,7,0,1,5,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,4,2,4,6,2,0,0,4,5,0,2,3,4,11,3,13,20,0,8,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,1,7,57,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932820604309032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20007600320379929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150447505465744,0.18390899321996648,0.1536443189866893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495023700667177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157997787169013,0.0,0.0,0.11782282164646064,0.0,0.0,0.17045626477003686,0.16032258421611645,0.0,0.16816723135294662,0.0,0.2705932300347071,0.2548791801294275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319975827479524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18618950865086814,0.0,0.15855841470256293,0.0,0.0,0.09803673891054554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743015931403365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116697862690955,0.2030945931864135,0.0,0.0,0.2417590712135802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421512111129265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733090023355835,0.17642914045866884,0.0,0.12626311946698004,0.0,0.0,0.14913938110546476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16812748020287735,0.0,0.0,0.14338058023424982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143030804724546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045626477003686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986773994471226,0.0,0.0,0.12672088891584046,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Efty8,2019/02/24,"What’s happening to me? So basically over the past couple of months I’ve started to get some pretty distressing thoughts just randomly pop into my head and some of these thoughts are of a sexual nature and involve my own family members.

Now to give a bit of backstory I’ve been dealing with intimacy issues since my early teens, like most young people I started watching porn when I was quite young and I definitely think this has had a huge negative impact on me as I’m almost certain this is what has caused some form of ED. I don’t really know if this can have an affect on what’s currently going on but I thought it important to mention just in case.

I currently see a therapist and it has really helped me in this respect but in the past couple of months I have been getting some thoughts that pop into my head that really make me worry about my mental health/state. I have never had these kind of thoughts before. I get sexual thoughts pop into my head about my sister and other family members. I have absolutely no intention to act on these thoughts and they repulse me and make me actually quite worried about myself. I have looked into things like intrusive thoughts and am aware that what I’m describing sounds like I could have Pure O or OCD but I’ve never had any OCD symptoms to my knowledge so I’m really just looking for some advice or maybe something to reassure me that my head isn’t fucked :(",7.866115745568299,7.043754266423362,8.063295099061524,72.11160583941607,62.90510948905109,11.624191866527633,35.26485922836289,10.914260884657429,3.7985107403545353,1135,43,207,26,14,372,141,274,0.106,0.804,0.09,-0.8574,2,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,10,9,1,1,7,0,22,7,4,5,4,51,49,18,0,2,9,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,19,13,0,0,11,0,0,2,6,2,0,0,14,5,30,7,32,34,9,30,0,0,4,2,8,13,1,11,18,143,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0875095623541685,0.0,0.0,0.08762906985673576,0.0,0.0,0.08979624921340466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060981864724729135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630655689830126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790153665907587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212060933785994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159794359573493,0.1984466791500385,0.0,0.0,0.09245066846763894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907463502164494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082902806516126,0.14055397404989536,0.08602413452708074,0.05096419325593248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929903279510868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681284150627025,0.09532000279361624,0.0,0.0,0.060107054887806675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359707883260383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338239080882993,0.04928286479077588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314315726381432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060831001227706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971710470139355,0.0,0.09009027986525714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037099647258136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431549650761485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832529941207702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120927827475976,0.06216913940684472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912313990340895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907601435847753,0.0,0.0,0.22979161235302206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714591182343971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417983078634091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690359579787896,0.0,0.0,0.1269444152039906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320633942117633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041192275320246,0.05957587982212665,0.057459920869391626,0.0,0.5695335009888653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18213800255587825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rotttten,2019/02/24,"I'm srsly obsessed about a character, an actress, in a movie for two weeks. Is it normal? I don't know. I've never felt like this before. I think it's not normal. What should I do to stop this obsession? 

I thought this would stop over time but it didnt.

Any suggestion would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance!",0.054193548387097217,2.377440225806456,1.8634838709677448,92.74522580645159,98.35483870967742,5.060645161290323,19.103225806451608,6.742157984588678,0.3937367741935485,242,8,51,4,10,79,47,62,0.131,0.722,0.147,0.716,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,2,3,0,8,0,0,0,1,14,14,1,0,5,2,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,3,1,4,2,6,7,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149167120676564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21458738635811628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24213322756122424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859203687813698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232028578922114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449746964472386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.494167511147623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216690770387863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321743067916211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16158734898942118,0.0,0.20020347920997109,0.14704872068332234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24634411258090225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20228432029266166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582841760144536,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_hxd9,2019/02/24,"Lost control of my emotions again After such a long time I lost control of my emotions and wouldn't let my boyfriend have alone time because I was upset about something and couldn't just wait to get it sorted, and respect my other half's privacy. I'm getting therapy soon and I haven't lost control like this in such a long time, so I ought to go easy on myself. However, I just feel so guilty and ashamed. Even though my boyfriend says he still loves me the same and that he doesn't see me any differently I don't believe him and I still have those intense feelings of guilt and worthlessness. Anyone else felt like this and knows how to deal with it? I'm struggling to forgive myself at the moment.",4.5294244604316525,5.801524136690649,4.432438848920864,88.04160791366907,70.22302158273382,6.99884892086331,29.727338129496413,7.1686216300943375,1.563108776978417,561,22,112,5,10,172,86,139,0.188,0.723,0.08900000000000001,-0.91,2,1,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,6,14,13,0,4,4,0,10,1,0,4,0,27,25,13,0,3,2,0,3,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,4,5,0,0,1,5,8,0,1,5,5,17,5,13,16,1,15,0,4,1,1,7,3,0,1,13,75,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389514554701409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123481616703816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380924694556096,0.13746490723877405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178395975441058,0.0,0.0,0.15115472347051795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.451422547965996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831521519125367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017082042874285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207520395462753,0.301828568370782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861278964742665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567275924993955,0.0,0.12881663785202174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018830070080113,0.0,0.0762474027941765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373197145852621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718981829321195,0.0,0.13108963265623808,0.0,0.0,0.23745844093277266,0.0,0.0,0.4393612816091335,0.0,0.1210865167679546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669107223625668,0.0,0.0,0.1069098090883744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328452505579258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21428402349317308,0.0,0.0,0.14025533749951882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342603276064146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318135640881453,0.0,0.2346929662193141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darlenexo,2019/02/24,"What's wrong with me?/ does anyone feel the same as me? I'm starting to realize my moods are up and down quite a lot. I spent 4 months very happy like nothing can bring me down. More confident,More sociable, Feel like a better me. If that makes sense. I had some one told me very time they see me I'm always happy.i buy stuff that I never used. Go for walks and i start workout again. I draw more in this mood. I did had a couple days were I was irritated and felt like no one like me and they talking about me behide me back. But I can be irritated easy. But for two week now I feel really down not as talkative. Sad. thinking negative about myself. Putting my self down/thinking low about my self. I would get out of my bed and go on my couch and stay there the whole day and do nothing. The only thing I do is work. I'm very irritated. I have anger outburst.i realize a couple days In the same day I can be happy to sad to hyper to irritated. I sometimes have paranoid thoughts if I hear something I would have to track the whole house to see if there's someone in my house. I would think the person cross the Street be watching me from there window sometime. Or to my house is Hunted for no reason turn on all my lights.i cant sleep in the dark by my self. When I'm walking I would check behide me to see if there someone behide me. Or at night I sometimes I think I'm in danger outside like there someone watching me and going to hurt me or there zombies out side. I think people talking about me, laughing at me or making fun at me. I one minute think people likes me to not like me . I get distracted easily and have brain fog. I have racing thoughts. I also take panic attacks and abit of anxiety. I was wondering if I'm alone or anyone going through the same thing as me.",1.2992320966350306,3.4900046120218597,2.8034742594190405,92.11796376186369,82.11475409836065,5.491975841242452,21.38021282714984,6.7183091564049375,0.3987060109289615,1392,43,297,15,38,454,172,366,0.138,0.74,0.123,-0.604,0,1,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,2,3,15,24,3,2,13,0,27,2,2,4,2,56,65,27,0,9,14,0,4,7,0,4,0,1,3,4,7,13,0,0,15,1,3,9,7,10,0,4,11,10,58,12,42,47,10,44,0,4,5,0,10,19,0,13,22,200,65,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981480107706729,0.0,0.06162785093863377,0.0641232112695102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058953555814107876,0.0,0.0,0.10776952798106358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767113793026728,0.0,0.0592572648751468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815662203994717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602862858922604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705391414034936,0.0,0.19879896694529475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743900465699447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689723854786535,0.05505435652742028,0.07399328269566133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052525463593252,0.0,0.17518841428668486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407158416436846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685644412152943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667636531044659,0.08249833544224773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26354618031260124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551684219808003,0.0,0.0,0.10288129957393567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151154792889045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05943631280995465,0.0,0.0,0.0723191064761366,0.0,0.14788948806665125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666116895352158,0.058610452509098014,0.0,0.0904177032402594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685259840726682,0.06728909172623539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774703512682754,0.0,0.08196678130440871,0.0,0.0,0.04936900990262957,0.07923436725720094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422948755818147,0.0,0.2411828864931565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711940189823771,0.0,0.1958875892251393,0.05932743772834335,0.22865405002571434,0.0,0.10909223408313687,0.08213970105083836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821955341181234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057942347329204724,0.1238818420447892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239545893878696,0.2962760257460372,0.0,0.12236001463361855,0.04493649082840235,0.0,0.0,0.07363771311738045,0.0,0.0,0.08382322773895642,0.07528008339128735,0.0,0.0,0.0665583346506213,0.0,0.19075698707483,0.0,0.0,0.06181588973586857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207784369276874,0.0,0.0,0.08357234671588169,0.05610332591854565,0.0,0.0,0.2189755002916008,0.08425711009195122,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SonniSummers,2019/02/24,"Mental health issues overwhelmingly for life Is anyone a decade into many different therapies? Feels like most the time you can use grounding techinques and coping skills to artificially conquer your demons? Yet it takes one bad time to drag you back to a moment before all this self awareness and progresses started and make you the same scared just unable cope human being? Ive been struggling for 12 years without diganose, 10 confirmed as someone who has (look I'm so stable I don't even say someone with) to deal with bipolar type 1 with psychotic features [let me tell you fun], PTSD, bpd, generalized anxiety [acute], dpdr, amongst a few others. Happiest places I've been in, in my entire lide. Amazing fiance. Awesome child. Attemptedly no friends. Going therapy. Taking my medication. Using my techinques. Actively helping others. 

Yet here I am after 3 hours of night terrors and flashbacks just shaken and feeling like everything is bullshit. The progress is just words in a file. I know it gets better it is much of the time. More and more each day a larger portion is better. But I just can't help but say is it worth it? Idk what I'm saying here. Just that anyone have hope or what not because I'm shaken at my very core again and I feel like cause of that I'm betraying all the good in my life.",3.82929012345679,6.490183744855969,4.383441358024694,81.66923611111116,75.74897119341564,6.848353909465022,26.99742798353909,7.9370924344782425,1.9511921810699588,1042,41,179,17,24,330,164,243,0.105,0.742,0.153,0.9269,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,5,0,7,13,15,0,4,10,0,17,5,0,4,2,37,35,12,0,1,10,0,3,3,1,0,5,3,0,3,13,12,0,0,4,0,1,1,5,5,0,1,2,7,17,10,21,31,10,23,1,1,1,0,17,8,0,3,17,112,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022817848370046,0.0,0.0,0.16494082624024844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069300397197033,0.09847977745275974,0.07189863651138728,0.0,0.10036314898861227,0.0,0.0,0.2086268681623722,0.0,0.0,0.14854854746189494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116277834707555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606525350427992,0.12159689272680327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322820878045848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790205771709112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600203792804247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891075030667536,0.25278140928723863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112459646381917,0.0,0.061621788095754214,0.0,0.06703128969174403,0.0989273020145463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537082042268924,0.0,0.0,0.15811310456614075,0.0,0.0,0.11714674593414195,0.11615280869042922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310472323230498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481990149515429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206075238732246,0.1666171473277909,0.1728670122551846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904472741989076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787297062272426,0.11957848158244228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881793798106223,0.11886157824307432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670369972713486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106840996578034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799230949324172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322820878045848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787227397278148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813855911878035,0.1180842749098816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304314376069672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987010813596032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834826112870649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330251017365315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736105598342736,0.0,0.10308978710047048,0.0,0.2697624960681034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063253518251389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037345234058636,0.0,0.09731759879518508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369549732874587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595319815622864
mentalhealth,Creatively-bored,2019/02/24,"Advise on intrusive thoughts No alarming thoughts of harm to myself or others but just randomly getting thoughts that second guess or criticise everything I do. It’s getting to the point where I’m getting anxiety attacks over it, not sleeping and am unable to focus.  I just don’t know how to proses these thoughts ",5.506315789473685,8.114727701754386,5.41740350877193,76.52715789473685,70.22807017543859,8.068771929824562,37.71578947368421,8.841846274778883,3.904237894736843,257,15,39,5,5,80,43,57,0.244,0.7559999999999999,0.0,-0.9161,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,1,0,3,1,1,1,0,15,13,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,3,0,7,9,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,0,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719548534386162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635113289041805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081731325374261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630496425689101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25516536303298565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729719360842526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21896419297218087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317961938017045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7355499386009055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deshaun93x,2019/02/24,"Sudden and intense urges to break or throw things So lately I've been experiencing urges to break, smash or throw things when I feel negative emotions, irritability or anger. I never actually do it, but I was thinking of getting some wood to chop or smash with a hammer. It's like I physically need to do it, to let anger out. Does anyone else experience this? I'm officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but I don't think this is related to my disorder. I take meds for it but I don't think they're the cause and I have been taking psychiatric meds for years. What could it be and how could I deal with it? Is it possible that they're intrusive thoughts kinda like OCD?",3.8679042331714086,5.862552931297714,5.17820957668286,79.14879944482999,73.12213740458014,9.038445523941707,27.176266481609996,9.573946990214177,2.5432992366412206,538,20,105,14,11,179,80,131,0.145,0.797,0.058,-0.9089,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,2,0,14,2,0,2,1,27,24,13,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,13,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,4,2,10,2,13,16,1,10,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,6,7,68,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.1603249699952333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487655522972084,0.1683362304115664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687728007170347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623470589933721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937749714854364,0.0,0.1667525861483541,0.0,0.0,0.3765849734350247,0.0,0.1437727470510569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724460835345434,0.18480601504281896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607087777920066,0.0,0.0,0.08307080447084758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583561638311579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532815914665385,0.0,0.0,0.16799936308263144,0.0,0.16052922197123284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649820156388852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218201911424,0.12671186371649426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18521417199358708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24705377810590884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829616988061867,0.3158144038715399,0.0,0.13042923396155354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579844859221177
mentalhealth,blueeyedangel666,2019/02/24,"I cant relate with anyone. I've never met anyone who deals with what I do. I am a freak I cant handle this anymore. I try to post on forums, chats, even talk to my boyfriend and therapist and no one seems to understand why I'm so fucked up, and no one seems to relate. I dont think there's a point anymore, I think im just insane. ",0.9670720720720744,2.061876067567571,3.2524324324324314,93.71126126126127,78.86486486486487,6.014414414414415,19.09009009009009,6.42735559955562,-0.1532720720720726,255,5,62,2,6,88,47,74,0.228,0.772,0.0,-0.9394,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,1,12,13,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,1,0,8,0,8,12,0,5,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,2,1,38,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020619580058343,0.28347504179418764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20898212427750468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23757121721894325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388613098760455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18739945206963446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189584579688714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634021576910714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747191607163089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916237348247353,0.0,0.19413737304219572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690738702467428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292829248244514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23535857239790325,0.0,0.25977305568766224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762481816003333,0.0,0.0,0.21102524501527994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18291163306811495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,miss_coroner,2019/02/24,"Tired of beeing angry Im angry almost all the time, I get angry at small things, things that dont even involv me and things I have no control over. And its not like I get a bit annoyed, its like rage. I just cant let it go, and its draining me. Its like I cant see anything positive. Anyone who feel the same and can share how they handle it? 
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mentalhealth,Just_other_things,2019/02/24,"Please diagnose me I don't know what the fuck I have but it's pushing me to the edge. I don't want to give away my personal life story, but a lot of shit has happened to me while I was still young. I'm going through adolescence right now so I'm not sure if it's related. Basically I went through a stage of depression and suicidal thoughts, nothing to serious, then I was pretty much kicked out to live with someone else because my original owner couldn't deal with me. I was half forced out of depression then, having to live with some people I really didn't want to. I still wanted to live with my original owner and so after about a month I was able to go back home. Many people thought it wasn't a good idea to go back because it seemed as though that place was the only reason I was depressed. But they were all fucking idiots who didn't know a tenth of the story and wouldn't care to listen to it. Anyway I'm back home now and I've stopped feeling anything. I stopped feeling happiness about 2/3 years before depression, but now I stopped feeling everything. I can't tell if it's better or worse than feeling sad. Anyway I seem to have started feeling the tiniest bit of emotions every now and then so I just hope they come back naturally. None of that shit that I wrote really matters. The thing that does is that every so often I get a kind of giant wave of emotion over me. It's fucking torture. It's not even physical pain of any sort, nothing you can describe. It's just mental pain. Like I'm mad over something that doesn't exist, sad over nothing, just huge amounts of bad emotions. I'll usually cry, and clench my muscles or some shit as it happens. It doesn't do anything physical, just mental. I've seemed to figure out that it only happens when I'm alone and have no human interactions and it'll last from 3 minutes to 10. I've found ways to kinda avoid it. When I got them late at night I could usually just distract my self by looking at something on my phone, leading to sleepless nights, and mornings where I'm so tired I hallucinate. Pain is another way that works. It's strangely effective, just having the blade of a serrated knife roll over my hand or arm (it's not cutting, it's just the pain I feel). I've heard of mental breakdowns but I feel like this something else. It's kinda late as I'm writing this and it's right after I had one of those mental seizures so I apologise if this doesn't make sense or if I seem agitated. I've tried writing about it before but I just couldn't. Also I've seen a therapist but they do jack shit.",3.2074153592072685,4.848427549132951,4.280538122763557,86.38267341040466,74.08670520231216,7.17792458023672,27.57872281860721,7.8761006319780495,1.6633300853289297,2034,79,410,29,42,662,231,519,0.225,0.659,0.116,-0.9972,0,2,3,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,4,4,37,34,11,2,16,0,33,16,6,6,2,93,82,42,1,12,26,0,8,2,0,2,7,2,2,3,35,18,0,4,20,0,0,7,17,25,0,3,19,12,44,9,58,58,8,62,0,6,2,3,21,18,7,20,36,260,79,2,0.06276300114407678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650035408544864,0.0,0.05019154933927045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04268099301298818,0.06581247910644522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329720437459884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896790560651845,0.1930434950037596,0.05240448434299493,0.07651948590462805,0.0,0.10681338252029146,0.0,0.0,0.055508774130747805,0.06852094177455285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399106260113972,0.0,0.0,0.054064768069703034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050111149341661235,0.0,0.06894220963328031,0.0,0.06470589826541108,0.2162307236714674,0.06370312501044281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549243252535826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486086776694543,0.21179978585424789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04145437032370127,0.0,0.10576107081985504,0.0,0.056407338446620214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22214401436937967,0.04483790055796905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881639122377134,0.0,0.17407014962451695,0.03279107765043805,0.06020798972403015,0.10700897977232336,0.05264262758923145,0.05019730552418752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650334390113816,0.06681238179113376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591281505965202,0.06233782175313506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085178875290682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535800746072552,0.06898580806900667,0.05116022279859635,0.14159879810884796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044331363830519166,0.06132566415470558,0.0,0.16626263964511553,0.0,0.052705113695262665,0.0,0.0,0.05335885914653362,0.0,0.0,0.04189479062636231,0.06363183211753487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530013725512659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009682871924346,0.0,0.04613802744436486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779764978283475,0.0,0.18066837697572966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042529833894463014,0.09546818115843828,0.2671370333516047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702392478893857,0.05480223171719949,0.06557397777171642,0.06889492788068327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385253586973526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041517134277977,0.06453081833919032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719852009165903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22854831611239296,0.06547549829520467,0.0,0.2577012749833329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053178887195739266,0.14495407381054393,0.0,0.0,0.044423975249171584,0.0,0.10024522757586682,0.15741803789281275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686525364043238,0.0,0.05915338580868385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054857629391179066,0.0,0.0,0.0728726817861637,0.04169694911608174,0.0,0.06166432995889313,0.0996536244262758,0.0,0.07213683700466755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04261195790523116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824915734037624,0.0,0.11105773262419184,0.09963669786186677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05818193085616041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045692212336623794,0.0,0.06396086015901087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04041731497096244
mentalhealth,highbrowalcoholic,2019/02/24,"I'm struggling to take criticism, but I don't take the criticism personally. I'm writing an application and have asked for feedback from a few people. At first, receiving suggestions for clarification isn't difficult. As the process goes on, I receive suggestions about whether the content of what I've actually written is good or not. Don't write this, don't write that, you don't want to appear like this, you want to appear like that.

This feels less like my form needs work, and more like my content was misdirected. Being that this is an application, it feels as though I ought to try not to be myself. This is exhausting. I don't feel like my ego's taken a blow, but I do feel as though I'm suddenly too tired to continue squeezing myself into a performance like a square peg in a round hole.

Does anybody have any advice they can share?",6.265925925925927,6.835904481481485,6.679851851851853,76.02533333333334,65.91358024691358,10.430617283950617,32.86666666666667,10.355215969177356,3.3227140740740744,674,27,128,16,10,219,94,162,0.102,0.73,0.168,0.9239,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,1,3,4,11,0,1,10,0,17,2,0,0,0,23,34,11,0,4,6,0,6,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,10,3,0,0,5,0,0,4,8,3,0,1,3,7,13,8,18,28,4,11,0,0,2,0,13,4,0,3,9,84,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.17431098385697869,0.0,0.0,0.1745490317890033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147025481146598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698906569203134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563148210227974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612700793278717,0.12760882119894135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193724491087066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498211015208374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5235991615111395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324472249850306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383519656617915,0.15596734239288887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673629542413525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26860561476172445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35099379579128714,0.0,0.0,0.20530168943313154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127378065427777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21071379597531947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004019549733334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sapphire1198,2019/02/24,"Temptations, alcohol, and mental health Temptation feels good. It feels liberating, new, and rebellious. The aftermath isn’t pretty however. The yucky feelings of misery, guilt, and shame. You begin to question why you chased after temptation if you knew damn well that you would eventually regret it?

Same goes with alcohol. The euphoric and playful state you’re in feels like escaping reality. But then those pseudo-happy feelings kinda wear off and you end up so displeased physically and mentally. And I believe this only happens when you’re drinking as a coping mechanism, not for fun. 

I hate how anxiety’s nervous energy makes me want to give in to temptation. I also hate how I’m blaming anxiety and depression for my decisions. Bizarrely, I just want to fuck shit up, ruin someone’s life, and then continue to ruin my life but then I don’t. I know this is something that one can control with the mind but that’s easier said than done. 

Now, I’m in an empty parking lot having a mini emotional breakdown because I feel stuck in a mundane, repetitive cycle. I don’t feel loved. I want to love yet everything I touch, I destroy. There’s a lot of hope for my future but the seeds I’ve nurtured are sprouting at a slow pace. I’m impatient but I can get through this. 

 *for the future self*",3.720708852005533,6.382398531120334,4.973552904564318,77.29001123789766,76.13692946058092,8.497994467496543,29.95867911479945,9.188382445141503,3.207701106500691,1030,48,173,27,24,340,149,241,0.185,0.639,0.177,0.2207,1,0,4,0,0,0,34.0,0,5,0,1,10,22,6,3,12,0,10,11,2,4,0,45,38,24,0,7,8,0,8,1,0,1,5,1,0,1,9,11,3,1,11,2,0,0,4,13,1,1,4,9,21,9,26,33,3,25,0,4,0,3,11,8,3,6,17,111,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25945843812478386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970757083464979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572635920398992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399834627828207,0.0,0.0,0.13676519946646562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614944431044412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455321136231664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242243322315025,0.0,0.11891619361592493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654764935598976,0.1075156969395741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909769488550113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4296497684117036,0.08672119141038548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222329455342317,0.06342137535632326,0.11644855214712226,0.0,0.101816350156921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734496320623356,0.12922213747277886,0.0,0.2396954048917697,0.0,0.12903211845138615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056787015196915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671288565817078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148299275339793,0.05930512572342135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20640323386702014,0.2191188106893515,0.0,0.0810289088426346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446655639880208,0.0,0.12256950924018695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723942277793105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225714897255855,0.09232272596191878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349748574955652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359848184288862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546988929494972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663646490334254,0.0,0.12460530776656788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285353234883693,0.09345211546637376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147972757121926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914437859219007,0.0,0.10953578491479936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623212345382147,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,harleyjrobinson,2019/02/24,"I need help for my sister Hi guys, my sister (15) is going through a bit of a crisis. She’s saying that she wants to move schools because she feels like she has no friends, she feels extremely lonely, her boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with another girl, she’s losing interest in all her hobbies and she’s lost a lot of self esteem. She was in a good state a few days ago and then left for a camp and came home today. She has been bawling her eyes out and I don’t know what to do. Can you give me some suggestions on what to do?",5.381315789473685,4.253002043859649,5.793684210526315,87.36578947368422,68.03508771929825,9.003508771929825,29.52631578947368,7.793537801064563,1.5636421052631568,419,12,97,4,6,135,76,114,0.117,0.763,0.119,0.0534,0,2,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,2,0,7,0,0,7,0,11,1,1,0,1,16,20,5,0,2,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,3,7,0,0,3,0,1,3,2,3,0,0,5,4,18,4,14,15,6,14,0,3,1,0,24,5,0,3,6,64,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17817496726999818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107667292509006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252814349991108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219440674156272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298912205826548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962880450804387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20326395743523498,0.1435949196169206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529261991111565,0.0,0.0,0.19281815912725447,0.11423331346531612,0.1685898265313779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902226569894246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472651294595975,0.0,0.20162006173611394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104647122312323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21838781730249068,0.0,0.0,0.0981987749779256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22486833701369116,0.2194159764456155,0.3417671654849728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21363190356850373,0.0,0.14903945077244746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15984380125857672,0.0,0.20342341009698453,0.0,0.0,0.20968753660583075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720510774033165,0.0,0.1905251338394064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855540358013755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FoForever,2019/02/24,"OCD, ADD, Autism... really wish I knew what was wrong with me Ok, firstly I have been diagnosed with ADD. I don't feel like the diagnosis totally gels with me though. In fact, the only thing I feel like I can in common with ADDers is that I generally struggle with life. I can sit down and read a book and I don't think I am more forgetful than average. I also, unfortunately, do not have the ADDer's gift of ""hyperfocus"". Anyway, here ARE the unusual behaviors and struggles that I deal with:

Socially awkward/poor social skills

​

Constant daydreaming (leads to awkward behavior like if I am daydreaming in public and suddenly laugh out loud at the movie that I am watching in my head)

​

Weird physical ticks like hand flapping, suddenly running (getting up and sprinting for a sec... I do it impulsively and have been frequently ""caught"" doing it to my embarrassment but I have gotten better about suppressing the urge and only do it in privacy now). The ticks are usually a response to me feeling excited about something. 

​

I have a sleep schedule that moves around the clock. For instance, if I am waking up at 6 am and going to bed at 10 pm, eventually I will wake up at 9 am and go to bed at 11 pm. Then it will be 10 am to 12 am... and so on and so on until it's extreme and I am going to bed at 6 am and sleeping all day until 2 pm. Eventually it returns to a normal looking schedule. This happens regardless of what I do. I have had to force myself to go without sleep to go to school or work.

​

I have only been able to find one job that I haven't been fired from... as a data entry clerk. With other jobs I couldn't deal with multitasking or working fast enough. I am a really fast typist and I believe that's the only reason I am able to do the job. 

​

I get my left and right confused and get lost in buildings easily. I have a hard time following directions and honestly can't use the public transportation in my city because of it.

​

So I definitely think something is up with me. But none of the disorders sound like me IMO. I just really wish I could pinpoint it. When I have seen therapists I have been diagnosed with ADHD/depression or run into the ""I prefer to treat the symptoms,  not the diagnosis"" types. Also, I am pretty sure I am not depressed. I get really frustrated and have crying spells, but I actually an energetic and chipper person most of the time. I just wish there was a label I could get behind so I could understand myself better. 

​

​",4.122298253893348,5.911993100204498,5.564212678936607,77.50232656913641,71.98568507157464,8.859965392480731,29.51187667138587,9.40045753921074,2.841901116879031,2002,83,365,47,39,674,230,489,0.08,0.79,0.13,0.9857,3,0,2,0,0,0,95.0,0,0,0,8,17,23,1,5,26,1,56,11,7,3,4,78,84,39,0,12,14,0,6,5,0,2,4,2,3,1,19,34,0,1,10,2,0,12,10,10,0,2,13,11,53,13,64,64,6,59,0,2,3,0,7,25,0,7,26,271,72,10,0.09834940412419133,0.0,0.04798741567655314,0.0,0.0590984357857661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864998294545476,0.0,0.42624615311445707,0.4780211635584551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04377591047752765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02997644195397057,0.0,0.0,0.055403049788599834,0.0,0.08698205566829538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314038329616744,0.0,0.11778599464397645,0.0,0.05401610114909314,0.031713614708451014,0.101393917144198,0.0847081976593724,0.09982257494736116,0.0,0.0,0.056358468859553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081061245658998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459262069121395,0.07026083395746241,0.0,0.0,0.0449447868099133,0.04182797645311037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845876108232535,0.0,0.1397355820667134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04348502663156368,0.0,0.0440508741517994,0.0,0.050467431217598516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14639491204687635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053428457673703286,0.0,0.034733546335170395,0.12012137758697615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0412943647669725,0.0,0.05367999623450216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05226492603180703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818076724300767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033322050768568284,0.14959830726066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429374530839423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05002835062165978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049188009434849,0.0,0.12601029332475638,0.05055978375489744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04199492687502245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976742379888775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763064633147174,0.10025483207210324,0.0,0.0757141762119537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281615113560552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0463465747348308,0.051111344099652345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057095619233923374,0.03266948699560698,0.06301832698789632,0.04831389510240943,0.0,0.057348328449773125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051192599085654336,0.0,0.042471153913527064,0.054158986971820235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964544157758413,0.047402657984524935,0.0,0.0715995375381611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05376481713084524,0.4780211635584551,0.0
mentalhealth,Broly420,2019/02/24,"Getting angry at everything I m 18 yr old guy in college, I was fine 6 months ago but now even the slightest thing pisses me off. If I get an assignment from my college, I get pissed. My cat bites my playfully when i pet her, I get pissed. What is wrong with me? . Not on any drugs and I dont have a history of being angry. ",0.29074534161490817,2.160534927536233,2.790517598343687,92.6126086956522,83.78260869565217,6.2616977225672885,21.45134575569358,7.447530270364453,0.6973171842650112,246,8,57,4,7,85,55,69,0.317,0.623,0.06,-0.974,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,3,0,5,4,3,0,0,5,9,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,13,2,7,7,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,1,5,37,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374763311196989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18218053098253825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139756747310061,0.0,0.3106778291947445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694478651938775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407703791331623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5598647562889214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652621644526217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21383445445694585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28111497258690804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779802154089529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29290554013466863,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ticemx,2019/02/24,"Small random moments of happiness Yesterday i woke up feeling amazing. I went outside, appreciated nature, and i was in a good mood. But this always fades away after a couple hours and then i fall back in my 'normal' mood, which is not good. I am taking ritalin for my ADD, and i got diagnosed with depression 1,5 years ago, but i thought it was over",3.4151243781094505,5.59554665671642,4.967985074626867,79.33366915422886,74.97014925373135,8.048756218905472,27.58457711442786,8.841846274778883,2.414006965174129,274,11,50,6,6,92,52,67,0.036000000000000004,0.78,0.184,0.7684,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,12,10,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,1,9,4,9,4,0,17,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,1,9,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274386721693017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134913438325937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24106109883895604,0.19729069801054075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28389587602890703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22098807527100212,0.26041869991046795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973226623045298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4304066600943441,0.205206840974827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731293574862557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526751535267482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513894832452347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19291282128923387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20369226242984592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23784803005124525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522618971807904
mentalhealth,hjts1319,2019/02/24,"Constantly wanting to kill myself at any given moment I just constantly want to die or not exist. I’m just not content with anything, constantly in agony and so so so emotionally numb. I don’t have plans to kill myself (don’t call the police on me lmfao) but if I were hit by a car, I’d sure hope it kills me. 
",4.230692307692308,4.26957787692308,5.996730769230767,81.01201923076924,70.23076923076923,8.961538461538463,27.01923076923077,8.841846274778883,1.8638461538461537,242,7,51,4,4,84,48,65,0.231,0.66,0.109,-0.8326,0,0,0,0,0,3,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,3,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,13,10,7,4,4,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,7,2,8,7,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,4,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559383186732967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519820744873557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858658479296292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5987447218173627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19167646456384946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207748577030686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834363577683468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6129880585360586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17406578121034638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21786694285713326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,3_In_The_Making,2019/02/24,"I only see my sister when I look at other girls. So this is something I've been dealing with for awhile and it's annoying.
It's exactly what the title says. Whenever I look at another girl all I see is my sister. I can tell a difference in that I know it's a different person, like say if I were to look at some random person at the store I would know it's not my sister, but I still think it looks like her. 

I've tried looking up what this could maybe be, but I don't entirely know what to type into Google to get any results. ",1.925438596491226,3.1133459298245647,4.048245614035089,88.59938596491232,76.54385964912281,7.522807017543862,22.3157894736842,8.167268648758528,1.0148842105263158,412,11,93,7,9,142,72,114,0.019,0.931,0.051,0.4854,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,4,0,9,0,0,1,2,18,21,6,0,3,4,3,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,4,12,3,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,9,14,2,12,16,2,9,0,0,7,0,12,7,0,3,4,61,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458158943382384,0.16126086071703816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278776280842052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854939654943662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32135291785631337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034824819767365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535547422961065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026678101028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6457188753625792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545014194527561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696323610450478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685647213391381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445978932524629,0.0,0.0,0.24509936513837846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839405446355113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281585423573944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441810204732846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854158905091456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441243213952736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924707985206576,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NastyRat21,2019/02/24,"No attachment to almost anyone So ever since I was like really young, I've noticed that I've never really had a emotional attachment to almost anyone including my family. Even as a kid, I've never had a best friend. I Just didn't believe in becoming that close to anyone. I do have friends and family and I really do care for them. But if I really did have some sort of attachment to them, it shouldn't be this easy for me to just cut them off of my life whenever I wish. It's scary how cold hearted I can be sometimes. I first realized this when I was like 10 years old. I used to have a really good friend until one day I moved to a different place so we hardly talked. My friend's father was abusive and her mother had commited suicide shortly after I moved. My friend had literally no one else to turn to she would call me so she could talk. But I had new friends at the new place so my friend was of no importance to me. I would make excuses whenever she called and stopped picking up her calls entirely. My mother noticed this and asked me how I could just cut off my friend like that. That's when I realized that it wasn't normal. I'm 18 now and things are the same, if not worse. I think it's important to let everyone know that I was sexually abused by my own father at a very young age. My parents were constantly fighting and there was violence involved most of the time. I now suffer from depression and even though I have not been diagnosed, I really think I suffer from several other mental illnesses. Whether it is really because of them or not, I blame my family. That's why I have distance myself from them as well. I mean I know I do not form emotional attachments to others, but I atleast expected to be attached to my family. But it's not really that hard for me to forget about them. Is there an illness where people don't form emotional bonds with others? ",3.451187943262412,5.076430537234046,5.0208723404255355,81.3886666666667,73.41489361702128,9.375035460992908,25.831205673758863,9.80755857964246,2.4984190780141846,1486,50,294,41,30,501,175,376,0.15,0.763,0.087,-0.9591,2,0,0,0,3,1,30.0,1,0,6,2,22,21,3,0,10,0,38,5,1,5,4,59,50,28,1,10,16,5,2,3,8,3,4,0,0,1,21,11,0,1,7,0,0,2,14,6,1,3,16,3,57,15,39,25,7,34,0,3,0,0,35,11,0,8,24,222,78,0,0.0,0.17202863143570354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538869116729575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522823036571324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786740242771347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044253810077775,0.08017651010020628,0.0,0.08179076245402946,0.07618495826234882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22238570865404308,0.0,0.07401639719732023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845041894764525,0.0,0.11592389883585302,0.0,0.0,0.04681837438687839,0.0,0.0625267751423707,0.07368334907755543,0.0,0.07584730409638744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060644591006960964,0.2449819777772555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589786494307187,0.06566718224169632,0.0,0.06936852992142095,0.0,0.0,0.2737479584137874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175006789451235,0.0,0.0,0.44869953378713184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060890028619180414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006340255238233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860265362293187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797936581056673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423426527137368,0.051276658023806286,0.10640012523522244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845835242379882,0.0,0.0,0.07907825886078727,0.0,0.0,0.07315963089620645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431598679336828,0.0,0.0,0.11198092577926992,0.1402272188551665,0.0,0.0,0.07112860579809817,0.0,0.1653019134654536,0.07617722512457539,0.0,0.0983857729598808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060919815216748,0.0,0.0,0.05032888282381075,0.0,0.1516946081927749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720545351714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201274648366368,0.0,0.060052110213461025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179923909179241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069345491427899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940817352539811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669973038008985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048229515532961134,0.0930330917266214,0.07132514063085359,0.0,0.0423312753293251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896353424570783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269958195703154,0.0,0.059899251825521575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527246680772289,0.0,0.06550654259367156,0.0,0.08348174613988026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739814630071057,0.1031401431480005,0.0,0.0,0.046749404009532286
mentalhealth,on_my_way1,2019/02/24,"What to say after coming out of isolation? I have depression, anxiety, and OCD. I think I might have OCPD. I've been in therapy and on different medications for the last 5 years with varying success. I'm trying to manage chronic headaches I've had for over a year.

For the last two years, I've slowly withdrawn from different communities I was a part of. I went to college for a year and didn't return. My seasonal job came to its natural conclusion. January of 2018 is when I pretty much stopped talking to everyone I know except my family. All these social and work groups knew I had mental health and chronic pain issues to varying degrees, but probably wonder why I withdrew from these personal and professional relationships into complete silence.

I am paralyzed by anxiety everyday, and am disgusted at the privilege that allows me to completely isolate myself without real consequences. It's hard to explain why I do this, but I suppose I believe I either need to accomplish greater things than I was in order to justify my existence, or greater pain/suffering to justify my failure to do that. I couldn't be who I wanted to be, so I just stopped existing. And every month that I continued to be mediocre at life, I had to explain myself to my peers or lie so they wouldn't suspect that I'm a fraud. I hated the feeling of being asked how I was doing, only to report that for the 20th consecutive month, I was doing worse than the last month. When I got tired of doing that, I would just gradually cut off contact.

My new therapist has helped a lot, and I feel like I accomplish things every day now. But I am still house-bound, worried I'll run into people I used to know if I leave my house. I want to rekindle these relationships, but how do I explain where I've been? How much do I have to disclose? How big does the apology have to be? Can I lie if it's to protect my dignity/privacy? I hate to contribute to the stigma, but I don't know how to take this step in a way that preserves myself. I'm embarrassed and tired.",5.708401015228425,6.363556307106599,6.938633502538072,73.38631573604061,67.14720812182742,10.567959390862946,34.79553299492386,10.53366545652748,3.884818192893402,1611,75,290,42,25,547,203,394,0.163,0.7440000000000001,0.093,-0.9841,3,1,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,1,6,14,10,4,1,14,0,37,8,0,7,1,62,63,28,0,8,14,0,3,1,0,3,8,1,0,1,19,16,0,3,13,0,0,5,5,7,0,1,14,4,49,3,55,40,8,43,0,1,0,0,16,13,0,7,24,216,68,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605289166928376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924197813838199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075504465139732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918052079465193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223012020504758,0.20017545888499488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06156364018732863,0.0,0.082219340960667,0.0,0.0,0.19947023790204804,0.0,0.0,0.08353746865168109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608579094488844,0.09121587992604882,0.0,0.0,0.08999095459049893,0.0,0.09653463353369716,0.06819646295107126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634788078442799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551318388490102,0.18849347585515303,0.0,0.10146924808524237,0.0,0.0,0.06398465679118295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014773236925277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963517555368256,0.09472907007882904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738654282146955,0.2334373060671505,0.0,0.10107808969333697,0.0,0.0,0.06742604299971264,0.046636810950472965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115646396497639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961656531027647,0.09620097347921024,0.10126770710969413,0.0,0.0,0.2285851800287412,0.0,0.140347796845538,0.07078219347847697,0.0,0.09219561933881204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726014398350378,0.2031518042896407,0.0,0.0,0.1033736044571488,0.0,0.06617976966888654,0.08335176978472028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711688198118412,0.10292175372724838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865409187289707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049760887950056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591342297881984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730919142249804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623427795822925,0.15961724724537815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177385028496616,0.07672692938578059,0.0,0.0,0.10916654108723846,0.11083612483484263,0.12683842955096528,0.06116675193850464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21943387495746333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481090266034377,0.0,0.093250302823729,0.0,0.0,0.08244657261274846,0.0,0.0,0.11260926513934195,0.07577150457255546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849214264446054,0.1722751492748529,0.0,0.0,0.09201979045626207,0.1035220245232565,0.06949583336843433,0.09694400768697133,0.09728163843249776,0.06781186601186939,0.0,0.0,0.2458917914263617
mentalhealth,ViperIntegrity,2019/02/24,"Strange episodes of confusion and derealization? As of late within the past month or so I've been having these random episodes of, for lack of a better description, where I don't really know whats going on. Its hard to explain but somethings not normal it feels like I'm not really doing the actions or saying the things I do and I question myself ""Did I really do that?"" quickly after. My last time with this lasted for a week on/off varying severity and its just happened again tonight after being good for a while. It's a terrible feeling and I don't believe itd be anything like drug withdrawals as I've only smoked weed before and havent in around ~2 months. Please help me understand what's happening. Thanks",4.50185770750988,6.382776405797106,5.207075098814234,80.07527667984193,71.17391304347827,7.9167325428195,28.48748353096179,8.575989854853784,2.2754985507246386,576,22,102,10,11,186,98,138,0.07200000000000001,0.7509999999999999,0.177,0.9498,0,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,7,0,12,1,0,0,0,23,22,12,0,2,6,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,11,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,2,4,8,5,17,17,1,21,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,5,16,71,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396467641139274,0.15106694852112765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440026062011968,0.191191218618386,0.0,0.15008384271812816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19679547936860367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716085318324453,0.12123208484666707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964431247796823,0.14233439601388595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001262661555636,0.0,0.1520158248042997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374480442715855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326142875740977,0.2766525815844201,0.19142641931154114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581146814556008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709022016759371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626773504903564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906276268882708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199567513187246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18627713693993533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901002831893182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261381137565709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495043785734412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171012070300025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064159529020467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562348606737558,0.0,0.0,0.11273962451815896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098952105018375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666131089849665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612127471871466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shanbam123,2019/02/24,"Severe week long panic attack. What was wrong with me? Whenever I was 14, I was at a chinese restraunt with my mom when I had my first panic attack. There was nothing inparticular that triggered it. A few weeks later after that experience, I went back to that same chinese restraunt which triggered another attack. But after that day and on for the next week i had severe panic attacks in waves with a short 5-10 minute calm down between each one. It was so terrifying and debilitating. I couldnt go outside, i woke up every morning with my heart pounding, i could barely eat and i just constantly felt like i was going to faint. Which i did a couple of times during that time when the attacks were very intense. After that week my mom finally took me to the doctor and i was put on an ssri. It fixed everything for me thankfully. But ive tried to google what happened to me and from what i understand its not normal to have an ongoing panic attack for that long of a period of time. I was wondering if anyone on here might know what caused this. It was honestly the scariest thing ive ever had to deal with.",4.465277777777779,5.9080510833333335,5.626851851851857,78.76583333333336,70.57407407407408,8.177777777777777,27.38888888888889,8.660442795831766,2.0899777777777784,878,30,161,15,16,292,122,216,0.193,0.754,0.053,-0.9864,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,8,15,6,4,11,0,20,4,1,3,1,29,31,11,0,4,5,2,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,20,11,1,0,4,0,0,5,2,11,0,2,18,1,24,4,30,10,3,36,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,3,24,125,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222326599307944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149669993710651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6003350776545676,0.0,0.06762813766356779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034889897669314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504272836900324,0.0,0.07022093556877364,0.09731502589735036,0.0,0.0567204879109692,0.0906726102415999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002057371471955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999482868941427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955582963451735,0.07410168632423694,0.0,0.07904380822838289,0.08603199726324326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444581299634403,0.0963449495344674,0.0,0.07481024331536479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996804799719268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777739135080844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042211988800956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833503169668978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04296793795287825,0.0,0.0,0.15566600271346553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330107413091583,0.0,0.20601200430756075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353584558241906,0.0,0.08617234746249201,0.08439041760566307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595972106983952,0.0,0.0,0.4127616011194263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841406351532864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871698051847653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097256329234515,0.0,0.0,0.05843008623353485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385309434702374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977157099309833,0.0597122913729469,0.0,0.0,0.09155907405267126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256797856693216,0.0,0.0,0.28219280857200657,0.0,0.0,0.08153055101692949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537804656487807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615954182898402,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eyeofthetruth,2019/02/24,"Is it normal to cry for hours for no reason without being able to stop? Hi, i have a friend who suffers from this. I don't know what yo recommend her or do to help her.
She can't go out or work for this, Even getting help for herself.
She can cry for 8 or more hours nonstop and i guess if she can't stop it or control it that is going to get worst...",1.2530769230769216,2.125816358974358,3.0953846153846136,96.02461538461542,77.71794871794873,5.712820512820513,21.974358974358974,5.46131890053228,-0.09819487179487174,268,7,67,1,6,90,51,78,0.183,0.69,0.128,-0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,2,0,15,15,6,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,2,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,0,9,1,12,14,2,7,0,1,0,0,11,1,0,6,4,49,17,1,0.204270875163576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291071560010203,0.0,0.0,0.4487639290916843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349189865210355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781917143556418,0.0,0.2134462026070244,0.0,0.2321836915592513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502739869477686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738369235537927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023313296035386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226193084500373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001420868468868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100244809343724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415591965621243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969098342345081,0.0,0.14871162997346468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Capesofwar,2019/02/24,"Body dysmorphic disorder and OCD is shitting all over my life. Please help! Hello guys, I am at an awful position in my life again. I have had OCD since I was in 6th grade and I never got help for it because my mom always thought I was exaggerating and making stuff up and my dad was an alcoholic who didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything. I couldn't function properly all throughout middle school thinking I was going to get some horrible disease and I started showering compulsively and getting into rigorous cleaning behaviors to prevent illness. In 8th grade it finally subsided only to have Dysmorphia take it's place. I got acne in 8th grade and suddenly all of my OCD converted to BDD and since then it has only exponentially spiraled downwards. 


I used to be a keen-minded coordinated kid with lots of ambition. All throughout elementary, I was always the smart kid who got his homework turned in on time and I thought I had a future back then in something like science or math. I can't even look at myself in the mirror today without feeling like I'm being tortured and every time I feel my face or see my back I feel like I'm about to break down crying. I feel an itch all throughout my face and back and I also feel like parts of my face are extremely hot (from blushing all day) to the point where whatever area feels hot ends up getting acne. 


 My acne is stress induced, it came from intense skin picking and sweating like crazy all day. I want to wrap this up quick since I know people hate reading walls of text. I am at a crossroads right now. I haven't gotten any zits in a few months because of Accutane but I'm off of it, and now it's coming back because of my fear and anxiety has caused me to go back to sweating and scratching like crazy. I have stopped scratching, and stopped looking in the mirror in hopes of being able to cancel out the anxiety. I still sweat like fucking crazy regardless though. I'm on day 6 of not looking at myself, I'm feeling less-confident than I originally did. Guys, I want my motherfucking life back and I want to be on top of this bitch and I can't with this cunt illness ruining my day every day and it's because I let it. I'm a social person who never got the opportunity to be social because I convinced myself I was too ugly and too deformed for people. I went back to the gym today, and I ate a proper meal for once (I'm really poor). I want to live for myself for once in my life and if any of you guys can relate or have similar experiences or TIPS especially !!!please!!! throw it at me because this really is the end of the road. I like this one girl in my 3rd period at the college I go to but I don't have the nuts to say anything right now because 6 years of dysmorphia really adds up. I've been getting more and more days where I can let go and be myself but only at work, in school, I am the awkwardest animal you could ever come across. My grades aren't good because I turn in things late but recently I've been doing things on time.

I guess what I'm asking for here, in the end, is just some confirmation that what I'm doing is going to help me beat this. I love MMA and I started doing it recently and the more I focus on it and other things in my life  that make me happy and thankful to be alive the less acne I get and the more beautiful life gets for me (the only problem is that I don't have enough money to go to it every day like I wish I could, but twice a week at least is progress from nothing every week).  The only problem is that that's really hard and I don't want to bet it all on something that might just drown me. I've been bleeding inside for so long and my therapist couldn't help me I think mainly because of the severity and specificness of my problems. She asked me to reframe my thoughts for example when I looked in the mirror and I did it initially with my overall facial features but I couldn't reframe that I was still getting acne and it ended up making it worse from the anxiety that came about from that thought. I am still going, but I only have appointments once a month because of her schedule always being full.

How do I exit this negative mindset of fear and looking back at my mistakes only, and how do I become positive and hopeful? I want to be happy and have meaning again. Thank you in advance for reading this terribly pieced together sloppy story and God bless everyone!

I'm 20 btw",4.060318877551023,5.2716847902494335,5.3307192460317445,81.38988839285716,71.27891156462584,8.097534013605442,28.747236394557824,8.520386068161287,2.121980102040816,3483,132,674,57,64,1162,343,882,0.132,0.743,0.125,-0.8522,2,0,3,0,0,0,63.0,0,3,0,6,35,37,7,3,33,1,69,27,11,10,11,131,153,61,1,20,17,2,13,9,0,1,12,1,3,7,44,50,3,3,16,3,3,14,16,16,0,2,28,20,100,21,108,108,23,131,1,1,6,3,30,58,5,14,67,470,144,12,0.04472553676286777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779799689522046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03576699559037399,0.11164568842426206,0.0,0.0,0.06082979740551363,0.0,0.10264473961324903,0.0,0.0,0.03127313522512423,0.0,0.07361061178626567,0.0,0.08362467873923841,0.0,0.0,0.2751294162241621,0.0,0.2726427208322055,0.049395841447625474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049679988693028816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023081980755502,0.0,0.045945446471581115,0.0,0.07705417930307583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141940351020143,0.0,0.04912890198459886,0.20190989812497528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05125933996903314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845420131708834,0.04621343536563554,0.0,0.029540795215290825,0.04045680858731732,0.15073277487719688,0.04273716704769066,0.0,0.04375015711172346,0.0,0.10065732659521462,0.15830202667525525,0.09585579719993262,0.0,0.04899463935675594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826960760791468,0.16357072886100982,0.04290481029801122,0.17792987269915847,0.037513658247974487,0.14308439001921974,0.0,0.049270221145899136,0.13285593940233614,0.0,0.09522233110409896,0.04006529594881703,0.04415720799685579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991433807319045,0.0,0.0,0.08884509942845731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02457998533103673,0.0,0.05045235357577265,0.0,0.0,0.09146978317571622,0.18954581584125585,0.19665574279391165,0.0,0.039493468371430994,0.03958069260457471,0.18779093233267585,0.0,0.0,0.038024051955460034,0.040366543130028895,0.0,0.08956392926609681,0.0,0.0,0.04871922127515604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744672658743576,0.045160042313162535,0.052382008102046115,0.07139899347522101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899018238680985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042915358778368634,0.0,0.0,0.14289371090652647,0.030307181216508494,0.2381105028262477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04843339784244559,0.0,0.06201411144221607,0.03905261355696215,0.04672866657194835,0.0981904170780216,0.04228008881196799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283888950991595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947528025660888,0.0,0.11460929645246053,0.0,0.08832214364874602,0.0,0.0,0.07639072803861602,0.0,0.035567541985431515,0.0,0.09052926197294037,0.035640462165240284,0.0,0.0,0.05052712592414186,0.04591012076385028,0.11099227857356514,0.0,0.0,0.0911841046201734,0.0,0.06886380658416273,0.0,0.0,0.06331393024366436,0.0,0.10715361429947187,0.07478510282144638,0.05123295125005007,0.0,0.05120003910256432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03362803748394876,0.0,0.0,0.08235453037175075,0.0,0.05192979540213431,0.0891409778020187,0.05731663603924767,0.043942612785564106,0.14202832119512335,0.07823946047900167,0.0,0.08478915846290214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729708147361964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038628503601754564,0.0,0.0,0.15828168228863607,0.0,0.07175225557676639,0.0,0.0,0.041461020665156896,0.0,0.0,0.051432160004752266,0.0431138214049032,0.0,0.03256072344193968,0.0,0.04557914297086574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02880177929096346
mentalhealth,daedalia_planum,2019/02/24,i’d cut my whole body up if i could cover it all up around people but it’s impossible to cover that all up i really just want my arms to bleed i like the way it looks i’d cut the whole thing up if i didn’t have to be around people later,3.4631547619047613,2.038670910714288,5.5971428571428605,88.18119047619051,72.03571428571429,8.895238095238097,20.452380952380953,7.793537801064563,0.30749523809523804,185,1,49,2,3,66,34,56,0.079,0.825,0.096,0.2305,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,0,4,3,2,0,2,10,6,3,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,6,1,9,3,4,8,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,2,2,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4640038036789089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894836379364554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807924167549047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732293970703326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188503004662316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613541600143024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16695613742687648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314050198889686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537170143453425,0.20686343065884166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5819329205984388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,guccitaint,2019/02/24,"Suffering in Silence and the inability of healthcare to adequately treat patients So... the the title is a mouthful but a perspective I want to address. Mental health is currently one of the most unknown of the medical sciences. It’s not for a lack of effort, money or willing laborers. It’s simply a lack of understanding.  Star Trek fans might know the tag line “Space, the final frontier”,  however in reality the human mind presents itself as the unknown. Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 kids between the ages of 13-18 suffer mental impairments. Over 40% of individuals older than 65 are known to suffer. 

So why? How can this be? The truth involves industry. Pharmaceutical companies, medical conglomerates... down to the doctors who provide your care and the lawyers that decide what care they will pay for you to obtain! In all honesty the chemicals we swallow each day to treat our psychosis is nothing more than a crap shoot on the providers part. They know one medicine helped this person so it might help you! Furthermore, the conglomerates understand this and are potentially withholding “sanity saving” medicine to create a profit flow that will earn their shareholders an extra dollar. 

But I digress... this isn’t a political/ideological post! I only want the people to understand that the current psychiatric model is not working. You might even expected as much! 

The goal is to help, to treat and to educate... keep mental health an open source event! Good luck 

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/medication

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/issues/state-mental-health-america


https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/improving-care/campaigning-for-better-mental-health-policy/college-reports/2018-college-reports/cr221


https://www.nami.org/Personal-Stories/Suffering-in-Silence",9.578444444444443,13.4286006962963,7.939037037037039,57.37966666666671,62.407407407407405,10.245925925925926,35.614814814814814,10.355215969177356,4.835908148148149,1468,67,180,40,25,442,173,270,0.063,0.736,0.202,0.9912,3,0,0,1,0,0,86.0,2,4,3,5,5,14,1,0,28,0,16,8,2,1,2,36,26,13,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,1,3,13,7,1,2,7,0,4,1,3,4,0,2,0,1,12,10,32,19,9,19,0,3,0,0,18,9,1,6,8,126,25,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862354931040813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30649830665506284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462420496576365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025644916173336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618473367581403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977013766003743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404755059073493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.426054695013457,0.0,0.0,0.20149673878390295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890671798765536,0.0,0.0,0.11014055451344193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130562995012436,0.20189283342795966,0.5049174650093284,0.3189063402077768,0.10117890705047933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366251217635289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961498013390691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135803569447648,0.07621073598690055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851270298768932,0.0,0.06946981995631621,0.08749550608827705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959690913206646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129521229088941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820750380037973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041980398957232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295073790637617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,8NewGlarusDrunk,2019/02/24,"Chasing over stimulation. I've been googling and trying to find a term for it, but I didn't have much luck and figured I'd ask here. Everything pointed to kids with ADHD or Autism, and I'm in my late 20s so I dunno if it's any different for me at this age.
  
I'm someone who likes to blow out my senses from time to time, be it too loud headphones, too much wasabi on a sushi roll, or shut off all lights except my monitor and do something trippy on it. What got me to ask is that tonight I decided on a whim to hop naked into the snow in my (private)backyard, and while it was freezing, it was kinda settling at the same time. Felt therapeutic almost.
  
The urges to over stimulate don't come too often, maybe once a week, but it's something I jump on when I get the chance, or when stressed.",6.586150306748468,5.003918865030677,6.834777607361964,82.35069401840492,65.87116564417178,10.113190184049081,32.64493865030675,8.841846274778883,2.344460736196319,617,20,136,8,8,200,106,163,0.051,0.895,0.055,0.1606,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,8,0,9,0,0,2,1,29,17,15,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,11,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,6,4,11,2,25,10,5,28,0,0,0,0,4,15,0,9,12,88,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313231885132176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927406105721676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308927927818064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598850633248412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580421363651426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011003137096677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729883384020582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18481069172478234,0.0,0.17592295385963527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056269615575214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394359517790634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21712547940688895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403585628813532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933717243198064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28298944515179336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20498459295998472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18195552639337506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308742066897905,0.29636054531952777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22048483991713436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367093735186451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068107797818035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439560086362564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Neon-Fingers,2019/02/24,"I know something is wrong with me, but I'm not sure what it is or how to deal with it. I really don't know how to explain this. I've been trying to type up exactly what is wrong but I can't seem to put what's wrong into words. I suppose the easiest thing would be to explain what has been happening due to whatever is wrong with me. I've been having these awful attacks of emotions as of late. Sometimes it occurs while I'm walking home from school or work, other times it's when I'm driving or on the clock at my job. Randomly I will feel threatened. It's really out of no where. I'll be fine doing whatever I'm doing and then all of a sudden I feel like someone or something wants to hurt me. I then get tunnel vision and really light headed and end up crying uncontrollably as well as hyper ventilating. It's really embarrassing and I have done my best to hide it from everyone I know. The first couple of times these attacks happened I actually began to scream and yell for help, but I have been able to stop that because it only drew more attention to me. Another thing that has been happening is my sleep has been constantly interrupted by really bad dreams. Most of these dreams are of bad things that have happened to me. I have tried my best to get over these things, but when I dream about them they feel so real. The physical pain that happens in my dreams are almost manifested in reality and I really feel them. The words said to me in these dreams hurt just as much as they did when they were first said. I'll often wake up sweating profusely and yelling, and then I'll have to sit awake for a couple of hours reassuring myself that all that stuff happened in the past, not the present. The only escape I feel like I have from these attacks and dreams are when I'm around music (either listening or playing) or spending time with my girlfriend, but since I'm a full time student and employee, I don't have time to do this stuff that often.  I've lost my close friends because I've been really distant towards them, and my girlfriend is really worried about me. I don't know what's going on with me but I want to put a stop to it and get my mind back. I don't really know what the point in posting this is, but it does feel kind of good to put it into words. I guess if you guys have ever experienced something like this, how did you deal with it? What are some good coping mechanisms? What do you think is wrong?  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mentalhealth,syresmith,2019/02/24,"Just feeling really lonely I moved out for university last fall and the initial stages were pretty good. Then everything just took a strange turn. I made a few friends at frosh week. One of them turned out to be a huge asshole. One of them just stopped talking like just vanished. And the last one was chill even after frosh week, we hung out but I realized that I wasn’t giving this guy any space so I thought how about I don’t text him and he’ll just ask me to hang out with him. After that we pretty much just stopped talking. I’ve seen him on campus like twice or thrice that’s it. Most of the people here are locals even if they live on res, they live close by and already have friends from before. I was friends with a couple of girls but I found out that they really just don’t include me in their plans at all. There’s a bunch of other people that have blackballed me in a similar fashion. I know what you might have to say. Friendships take effort and time but man whenever I open up to people they just start playing games and we’re back to square one. It’s annoying and frustrating. I don’t do much other than studying and wasting time on the internet. My productivity has fallen on a crazy level. A couple of friends from my high school contact me and they’re like why do you never post pictures out with friends and stuff like that all the other people that have gone away for university are partying everyday. My ego obviously won’t let me admit that I have failed at connecting with people. Even with girls, my confidence has gone from sexting with 4 girls on the bounce in one night to almost no female interaction at all. I’m sick of these dorm room walls. I’m still focused on academics I know that’s what I should be focused on. I used to like hitting the gym a lot so I’m gonna start doing that again. I know it sounds ambitious but I’ll push hard to play varsity soccer next year so I’ll start working on that.  I don’t know I think the social aspect of life is important too and while I’m getting straight As in class I’m getting Ds in my social life. I’m still searching hoping that someone just genuinely likes me for who I am and meets me halfway. I don’t know. Thanks for reading this! 

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mentalhealth,solid_static,2019/02/24,"What’s happening to me? Some context: I have undiagnosed but moderate to severe/apparent social anxiety, consideration from childhood that I’m on the autism spectrum, and symptoms of depersonalization. I also have history with depression and OCD

My anxiety comes in waves but is manageable most of the time. I was doing pretty fine for a while until 3 days ago, and without reason (I think), a sudden wave of insecurity and terror hit me that I’ve just about felt consistently since then. I’ve become unusually on edge, irritable, and on the verge of tears and everything stresses me out and makes me feel a range of bad emotions that I can’t quite define. I feel like a switch was flipped in my head and I’ve gone insane, like my existence is now on another plane from everyone else, who I am and how I exist was all messed up and now I’m consumed by the severity of my past experience with mental illness.  I don’t feel like I’m pleasant anymore and my company is a burden when I’m at work or with friends. Can anyone relate, have thoughts on this, or give some advice on coping?",6.167915273132664,6.854639347826088,7.3224154589372015,70.92525083612041,66.14975845410628,10.62043849869937,33.31438127090301,10.560738912317856,3.6509616499442585,863,36,155,22,13,293,130,207,0.202,0.688,0.111,-0.9701,1,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,7,13,0,3,9,0,14,3,1,3,1,36,30,21,0,0,6,0,4,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,6,16,0,0,8,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,6,5,18,6,29,23,4,26,0,1,0,0,4,12,0,5,15,103,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384788845507372,0.1395604642623063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259041731211131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508886201017126,0.24088130883277525,0.0,0.15613750742345514,0.11008523826037274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145526200923205,0.0,0.1738793675686491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562003979572035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153534144611903,0.0,0.1356022618629116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152035574472615,0.17709805240290882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504400241021785,0.1414963155864939,0.15400587228950227,0.0,0.0,0.2388181631413021,0.22494937369151333,0.15116644394415954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216372336887445,0.0,0.0,0.1510301487258029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392230771364206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157817100621755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307507081812725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509197347624608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586618117437298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502936524919888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017239627379246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745610412095724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618738498966331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177861626470453,0.0,0.13023543843488586,0.0,0.0,0.16048956733008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18034621743370208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363974345520954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008807637808336,0.0,0.12498923969353788,0.09180413781340764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176589323416875,0.0,0.11461770533183865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,harigk97,2019/02/24,"Effexor ( Venlafaxine )and Sexual Dysfunction I've been on Effexor aka venlafaxine 150 for the past couple of  months and now I'm finding it impossible to get a hard on or climax even if I do. I know it ain't easy quitting effexor cold turkey and I can only see my shrink next time. So even if I do quit , how long do you think it's gonna take to get everything working back to normal ? Any experiences and advices would be appreciated.",2.8397674418604666,5.034665244186051,5.204825581395351,76.89351744186051,76.7906976744186,9.41627906976744,27.02906976744186,9.827888789773867,2.9992604651162798,345,14,66,11,8,121,65,86,0.081,0.879,0.04,-0.3195,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,3,6,0,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,1,0,13,16,9,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,7,12,0,9,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,3,7,39,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20699641125364568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405068055853534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16288308254817066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343842658402024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798215240886047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037784545590625,0.20720897242098568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19360746066127707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22134335301692515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18975677692074966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641543342486035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874616043403221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907953075588855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252820702087976,0.0,0.20754700735555115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16110516059658747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022143235922862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4506114831166777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687999319181768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926871013947125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573118407313864,0.0,0.0,0.12351893325568615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421371010071874,0.0,0.0,0.15047692702816215,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Human_Blood,2019/02/24,Are phychiatric hospitals a good place to go when you're angry all the time? Or just in general depressed all the time? I hate the idea but I don't know what else to do. Worst I do is punch the palm of my hand when I'm angry. Sometimes my dresser. I've felt like I wish I wasn't alive but I haven't actually thought about killing myself. At least not to the point where I would even consider a plan to do so.,0.5861616161616183,2.554500545454548,2.302878787878789,95.96737373737379,83.31818181818181,6.183838383838387,21.141414141414145,7.3871296695380915,0.4718898989898985,320,10,77,5,9,105,61,88,0.257,0.614,0.129,-0.9317,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,2,0,7,0,9,2,2,0,2,14,16,6,1,2,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,2,10,2,8,12,4,10,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,5,49,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.24730041232102776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21826943494239245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21169907741542907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738087599788967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433220054640325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440238719831774,0.21255585483295567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25019882174021485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860792330187326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28037060407244285,0.0,0.13927246869084334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238077349530768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647689436937528,0.0,0.2395628909458965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506378956882994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011863987148539,0.29554134290420103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914193722044089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002160445290785,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SeriouslyBetsy,2019/02/24,"Positive music for dealing with mental illness. I am a single mother of two. I deal with bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and non-suicidal self injury disorder. 

I have always found music as a source of comfort. When I discovered Spotify, I was thrilled, all the songs I ever could want (for the most part anyway) in one place, but when I looked around for a playlist to help me deal with my mental health issues, searching the keywords 'depression' and 'anxiety' showed me list after list of sad and angry music. Now I know that this is really helpful for some people, but I'm not one of them, so I thought about making a playlist where all of the songs have positive messages. Except every time I started to make the list, I would delete it, my mind would get to me and tell me no one would care, so I stopped trying. 

That is until March of 2015. Supernatural star Jared Padalecki started a campaign called ""Always Keep Fighting"" to raise awareness of mental illness. I ended up joining a Facebook group that was started because of this campaign and quickly made a lot of new friends who became the support system I had always needed in my life. One night I was telling some of them about my playlist idea and how I kept getting in my own way. They encouraged me to make the playlist anyway. So I did. 

I find it very hard to be proud of myself for any reason, somehow I always find a way to make it seem like things were someone else's idea or that it was a group effort (even when it wasn't) but I am proud of this playlist that I have been working on for four years now. Not only does it help me on a daily basis, but I get emails and messages from people thanking me for making it, or suggesting songs that should be added to it. I've seen other lists pop up with songs from mine as a springboard. This keeps me going, it keeps me from shutting down completely because even when I feel like I have nothing left to do, nothing left to give, I can at least look for songs to add to the list.

As of this moment it has 2,082 followers and 979 songs. I don't do it to gain followers, the number makes me feel good, but only because I know I'm helping people out there even when I feel like I can't get out of bed. 

The list also helped me with the confidence to cross off a goal on my bucket list, I ended up getting to meet Jared Padalecki and and ask him what song he would add, and I did it in front of a crowd of a few thousand people. I wasn't scared, I didn't get stage fright, I got my message out and made everyone laugh to boot. Later on he told me I was amazing, and I know I shouldn't need validation to love myself, but hearing him say it in my head and remembering everything in my life that led me to that moment, reminds me that, as a friend of mine recently put it, I have more power than I realize. 

We all have more power and strength inside us than we realize, we use it every day but don't give ourselves credit for it. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and energy to deal with mental illness, but it can be a little easier knowing you're not alone, that you will get through this, that you ARE amazing, and you are loved. 

That is why I made the Always Keep Fighting: Anti-depression playlist, to remind us all of these facts. 



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mentalhealth,TheBloorigard,2019/02/24,"Adulting gone wrong i am exhausted. every day that passes get's me a little bit closer to my 30th birthday and this scares me. i always thought that by this age i would be a full adult and i would be killing it! But that's not how it is. I am alone, I have no friends, i don't have a boyfriend, my relationship with my family is still not good. The only soul that keeps me going is my dog. She is the best and i want to give her the best life she can possibly have. Last year i started to lose weight and get back in good health, but about 4 month ago i had a knee injury and now i still can't go back to the gym. Keeping a healthy diet gets harder each day, as i am sooo close to giving up, as nothing makes sense any longer. I just don't know how to deal with all of these. I want out. I want it all to end already, so i can stop feeling. I am crying almost each day, i don't talk with days, no cares about me and i feel like a loser. Unfortunately i have to keep it together for my dog. Any advice anyone?",1.007897151134717,2.4696845458715586,2.7416175760502166,95.84242153549013,79.68807339449542,5.690391115403187,19.271849348141,6.339386263674448,-0.2476091743119269,773,17,189,6,19,256,125,218,0.172,0.7070000000000001,0.122,-0.8819,0,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,4,12,13,1,1,10,0,23,6,1,3,2,37,44,13,1,5,5,0,3,1,1,2,3,0,0,2,11,13,2,4,4,1,0,4,8,6,0,0,3,3,32,7,21,37,8,28,1,2,0,0,11,7,0,1,18,126,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402079599078815,0.10343200276472383,0.0,0.11684067660467785,0.1208478882669606,0.1287620486271875,0.0,0.09708919356115513,0.0,0.0,0.15869621275870954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158712231496547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794432919208262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449021859679361,0.0,0.12738707779095648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896559297619998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817025560639148,0.3010022579871464,0.12029454182036345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334606852746483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831004512540976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999788368481757,0.0,0.11799636351581942,0.0833580067412675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901486159256466,0.0,0.1828853829789428,0.22386498702387944,0.13262671603316367,0.19573550281587732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124028049255128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31113832196766994,0.12909190670386145,0.0,0.06412565466388682,0.09511181709805078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241630582717413,0.0570051793505762,0.1169465262063952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053787977103407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778864798752407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931348643475374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119600129835553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874230494236714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154199544622405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527334594927345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681954553220998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258847943843334,0.0,0.18636560258314425,0.09755180104757752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378497975130226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263287746911296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20646709835998156,0.0,0.0,0.14208785980207528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657758112238442,0.1275740049299545,0.0,0.07513970930591722
mentalhealth,Uniqueusernameimabot,2019/02/24,"Does My Girlfriend have a sever personality disorder? I've heard about DID and I have to say I always thought it was something made up. But I have noticed that my girlfriends personality sometimes goes from one Extreme to another especially when her childhood is brought up and the way her face rests changes a noticeable amount that's not her normal self? she doesnt act as another person or dresses different her face and posture changes. She has said things and opened up about some troubling things, then when she's back to her normal self she says she doesn't remember saying anything or doing things. These personality shifts never last long it's like she goes Into a small trance then snaps out of it. 

Should I get her help, how do I go about it? ",5.3556866537717625,7.328621744680853,5.142424242424244,81.02454545454547,69.1418439716312,7.964152159896841,30.54867827208253,8.575989854853784,2.3659304964539003,610,25,111,10,11,188,91,141,0.05,0.912,0.039,-0.3695,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,0,12,2,2,2,1,20,19,13,0,3,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,5,0,6,10,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,7,5,19,1,14,11,3,20,0,0,0,0,26,7,0,3,10,77,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722196664001678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702422032494786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604092293253786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908550042693703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27263390253951425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463142909568288,0.14768489453699055,0.0,0.11276638465869256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732410928363948,0.0,0.07323419219218029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637224153935101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503822007271027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295455976555889,0.0,0.0,0.11403717676698592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219305885789421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938489079296604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25251117260573896,0.0,0.2934162671599149,0.0,0.0,0.08731897180840628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4500628465398158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459734288970382,0.0,0.12257551026269045,0.3074242873727067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688584772735105,0.14557528965203498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920283814561197,0.1274459821884564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25682687123104725,0.0,0.0,0.1023005643929444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228318823525573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LazyExample5,2019/02/24,"What is the difference between boredom and satiation? I was one of those kids that was always scolded for ""you don't have to be entertained all of the time"", struggled, and in my 20's now genetic testing says I really need to get tested for ADHD.

I've got an uncommon recessive mutation that significantly reduces the number of dopamine binding sites, and on top of that I've recently kicked drinking after many years of further killing dopamine binding sites.

I'm not ""white knuckling"" my sobriety like I used to, but I'm having a hard time figuring out if, when, or if ever, I'm feeling satiation. Not wanting to do things during my one day off is just weird for me. Normally I want to do things, and find myself unable. Now I'm neither willing nor able.",7.260416666666668,7.136501986111117,7.900833333333335,70.4775,63.861111111111114,11.088888888888887,39.52777777777778,10.686352973137794,4.423627777777777,602,31,105,14,8,201,98,144,0.07,0.863,0.067,-0.3291,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,1,5,5,1,1,5,0,11,1,0,1,2,22,22,10,1,6,7,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,7,5,1,0,3,2,0,0,5,3,0,2,3,4,10,2,19,17,2,18,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,3,11,72,17,2,0.2047494769896464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24606908248802384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036796699400827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204647415671147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391962474944093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005765385098592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520762406591454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352748759939824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18713731261900665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697315100407208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16375686096930453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834153144868751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22652496013023216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003025216157684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20758383296634011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181914281662018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006110150196464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27748708913259623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116775786956478,0.0,0.20216540736632227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282500214442255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21404860922716606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720529091329901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387821331686804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768378085943577,0.0,0.0,0.24153309280904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185195020603874
mentalhealth,hahaanxiety,2019/02/24,"What 'counts' as depression? Not really sure how to phrase this question and/or if it really makes too much sense - its also 6 am so sorry if my writing is absolute shit 

Im really bad at telling how much sadness = depression and even if im constantly sad for like a month, ill laugh once and then tell myself that i was faking it the whole time or that it isn't that bad. so honestly i have no clue what is happening. I've taken like 6 online dEpReSiOn TeStS that all came back with severe depression but i think we all know how legit and reliable those are. i don't want to go to a doctor to find out because anxiety ʰᵉⁿᶜᵉ ᵘˢᵉʳⁿᵃᵐᵉ

so i guess exactly what im asking is how would you determine your depression severity (if you have it at all) without going to a doctor or therapist?",5.019999999999996,5.534449630573249,6.316439490445857,77.7402643312102,68.61783439490446,10.865987261146495,29.712738853503183,10.793553405168565,3.244944458598725,620,22,122,18,10,210,103,157,0.226,0.7240000000000001,0.05,-0.9719,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,3,0,0,11,15,1,0,4,0,11,4,1,5,5,34,22,20,0,6,9,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,14,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,10,0,0,3,0,11,5,12,18,6,11,0,6,0,0,9,3,1,8,7,82,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805618152442427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380110586972536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146296542808208,0.0,0.0,0.09428433788846798,0.20475891647401584,0.07474573607303686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024033996068733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250462048746345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4224368319090272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25100588252941664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098688554053397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206904334781166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937129634275738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507563799211172,0.0,0.108429156759924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973398165183789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738669166097051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980822540089965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184730793660022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787113160200228,0.0,0.18027412398380727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305823187370717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373582770350167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23565335426901696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770429525737693,0.12586383231584344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725886811183374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556437713115865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21434403744824648,0.0,0.0,0.1423669324310908,0.0,0.07856755054576647,0.0,0.0,0.07149852923036441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232224901897548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689667918382634,0.0,0.1181977023261235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710307547222268,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jordanrich,2019/02/24,"What simple things have increased the quality of your life? Things that aren't necessarily addressing mental health, but help you deal or cope with the day to day; like a nice comforter or a new stuffed animal",9.141052631578948,8.946567315789476,7.967368421052632,71.78157894736844,60.05263157894736,11.810526315789476,34.78947368421053,11.20814326018867,3.8049578947368414,170,6,30,4,2,52,33,38,0.0,0.654,0.34600000000000003,0.9423,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358665129080506,0.3483851770132069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591977926885125,0.0,0.0,0.2265035754085539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23868596912112086,0.1650927731066701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405482742829562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263694526861095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4490038586322229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pascalica,2019/02/24,"I did things today. I bathed, washed my hair, moisturized my face, and went outside. It's not much, but even that low level of self care has been hard for me over the last few months. It felt really nice to feel more human. ",2.1976666666666667,4.04331271111111,2.695277777777779,95.77625000000003,77.44444444444444,6.277777777777778,15.694444444444445,7.1686216300943375,-0.3915555555555561,172,2,39,2,4,53,42,45,0.084,0.75,0.166,0.7343,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,5,7,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,4,5,2,4,3,3,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33993791901007103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22021688355993746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16858419842596062,0.0,0.32012984413774304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29867356475861245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717770102154341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661279718071172,0.0,0.24509774332748135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135936245776295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34782364492604795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22150552804443027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31603760325830793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090782321042243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,timidCynophilist,2019/02/24,"Sometimes I just sit and stare at nothing Sometimes when I sit down, my mind sorta just turns off and I just sit there doing literally nothing. I still have my eyes open and I'm still awake, but that's about it. It's not like I'm trying to meditate or something, it just happens on its own and it's really annoying and a waste of time. I'll be like that for 20 minutes doing fucking nothing before I catch myself. Does this happen to anyone else, and does anyone know what might be the cause of it? I have depression, generalized anxiety and PTSD (not horribly severe PTSD) if that makes any difference.",4.244962335216576,5.810747771186443,5.223333333333333,80.9662052730697,71.28813559322035,8.295291902071563,27.517890772128066,8.841846274778883,2.167516760828625,479,17,90,9,9,157,75,118,0.227,0.773,0.0,-0.9826,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,9,5,2,0,2,0,7,2,1,2,0,24,15,11,0,1,9,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,2,9,2,10,12,1,13,0,1,2,1,0,5,1,4,6,60,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028279863707642,0.0,0.11567523742374684,0.0,0.0,0.2114590979984861,0.15493251591725005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866857430741374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533432446218182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023695289765144,0.0,0.0,0.15798226837259735,0.0,0.0,0.2646497829551506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631655358024038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979121001003744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26742901025666976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831010624534592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774713784093918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093385030246736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040991628974258,0.15267899659518194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4352702243744668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35351280041266525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686899904509864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708242617099565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640884676419112,0.2991011162303946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415130053738107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881717679923481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266166547196544,0.16447306080913648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,joshb44231,2019/02/24,"Over a decade of depersonalization Like the title says, I’ve had it for over 10 years now. 

I get days so bad like today where I just feel I’m part of a cruel experience by a higher life form. Like a simulation controlled by s computer. 

I know people who have it, but they have it under control with distraction. 

I can’t distract myself from it no matter what I’m doing. 

Any luck here with anyone who has it?

Medications that could work? Anything? ",2.352411616161614,4.7594446704545454,4.314242424242424,81.5469191919192,79.56818181818181,6.638383838383841,21.141414141414145,7.793537801064563,1.0262080808080816,353,10,68,6,9,120,66,88,0.163,0.72,0.117,-0.7308,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,3,5,8,1,2,5,0,7,2,0,2,0,11,12,2,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,9,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,6,4,11,10,2,8,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,7,47,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033379679632115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16485803741685515,0.0,0.19402117671893224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686069490718924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.528879172196303,0.1882456397706362,0.0,0.0,0.15205414807448298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23063133856574006,0.0,0.0,0.11921396636865822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318171648766035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295747328254552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665335171077972,0.3455604900753316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237516599279599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255319297417952,0.0,0.1634553848042153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874962367939732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22348533586090508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164562890383625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518301498663633
mentalhealth,hockey375,2019/02/24,"I don't know where to go from here. I used to have lots of friends in school abut around aged 15 I became really depressed because of how I was treated by family, barely talked to anybody anymore and have been this way for 10 years now. I've got social anxiety, some ptsd and depression 

At aged 25 I have no friends or family now (cut them all out), no job (I'm living off savings), no qualifications, no life experience, no good memories and no future. Therapy or antidepressants haven't worked. I want to end it but will probably stay suicidal for years until I die naturally or something. 

Any ideas on how to fix this? Thanks",3.9271074380165283,5.856495966942152,5.219909090909095,79.18986363636367,72.80165289256199,9.137520661157025,27.802479338842968,9.642632912329526,2.696301818181818,496,19,95,13,10,165,87,121,0.213,0.7070000000000001,0.08,-0.9286,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,7,9,1,0,0,0,8,1,0,3,1,19,15,10,2,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,3,0,8,6,18,11,3,19,0,2,0,0,5,7,0,5,9,59,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136643911519389,0.0,0.1278655344442728,0.0,0.165763013579078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879456469488012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189009395777393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879236378940536,0.0,0.1734702120229956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804093623811015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349996820653484,0.315139025933696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582717599684179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499240508852846,0.1401933692533207,0.13368119547121027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18868645882194568,0.0,0.0,0.16586570843753898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185856887048063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805951837150712,0.0,0.0,0.14759217450591658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210077623093678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802106743093555,0.0,0.1953836627629756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707742304958116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915975200430236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703833676330357,0.0,0.12867645433065775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781544239176301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18282959698381807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343448899922616,0.0,0.1538847399228794,0.19114497439954534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443596898320736,0.0,0.0,0.09858650318970016,0.13267199049718034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168361439123515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152719125711342
mentalhealth,surprisemovie2,2019/02/24,"Is this normal? I am terrified of running into people I know in public, to the point where I feel trapped in my own home or do ridiculous things to prevent that from happening (ex. taking 5 days to convince myself to go somewhere close to home, driving an hour away for something simple like grocery shopping or going places in the middle of the night 3-5am when no one will be there). I don't want to talk to anyone because even short <10 second interactions will play on my mind for hours after with constant thoughts of what I did wrong or what I should have done/said instead (to be honest this happens after planned interactions as well). It is also extremely difficult to go anywhere alone (stores, walking in the street, the park, etc) because I feel like everyone is watching me and knows I am out of place or are waiting for me to mess up somehow. I don't want to be seen or thought of I just want to live my life in peace. I feel like an idiot for having these thoughts typing them out and then posting them but they are constant and have been keeping me up half the night even when im dead (physically) tired so yeah... just wondering it that's normal or if this is something else",6.020541871921183,6.338667655172419,5.87716748768473,82.44172413793105,66.41379310344827,8.180295566502464,32.51970443349754,7.7094869923839395,2.1637169950738926,944,37,181,9,14,295,143,232,0.129,0.812,0.059,-0.9396,0,2,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,3,1,13,12,2,0,8,1,22,2,0,0,0,38,43,17,1,7,10,1,3,3,0,3,2,0,2,0,11,8,0,3,9,2,2,6,3,5,1,3,6,5,21,7,38,31,2,39,0,0,2,0,8,20,0,9,15,131,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204717605073294,0.0,0.0930205375277656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133319002064772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928585286992096,0.0,0.0,0.14181438516837475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513997757415488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501635414655991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903507432525445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971698863027267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972681640750458,0.15365565961394556,0.0,0.0,0.1111481181343621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764436662907742,0.16619712546930546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983208916591695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20572162384231105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333555726545184,0.0,0.22910224656908795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564485223034105,0.0,0.0,0.10338997767159523,0.0,0.0,0.12785213911190146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215979277665744,0.1704832681700454,0.0,0.10271211199341072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744937871934613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831564967717412,0.2279365207518454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882099799485963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064118729354786,0.0,0.2430579147468683,0.0,0.10995937799901204,0.0,0.111401778102315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064633319129732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909662802069085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745767071368532,0.09349308276553957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727740368857464,0.0,0.0,0.27703369888213697,0.0,0.13369197488543846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058244888096008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458505982300917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261433669285183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717694276072994,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hydrangeari,2019/02/24,"How can I get out of my own head? I feel trapped in my own mind. Working out, journaling, going out and exploring places don't help. Only among other people, who are energetic, do I feel okay and can be myself. But I can't be surrounded by people all the time, and although I like it, it really drains me as well. Are there any other ways to get out of my own head? ",2.2559649122806995,3.5259670526315823,4.255263157894738,87.11517543859651,75.84210526315789,7.698245614035088,21.87719298245614,8.344100000000001,1.0428666666666668,280,7,62,5,6,96,51,76,0.07200000000000001,0.8029999999999999,0.124,0.477,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,1,9,2,2,1,1,14,14,7,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,10,3,11,12,4,12,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,2,48,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481721450839666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599658206502934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686181576812746,0.0,0.14609947309559418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5276583816610929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17230938993455555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559199105490154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25956860423647643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955142128396876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564415692615428,0.0,0.2685846633136805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468637754142984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990026959319466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20405113322604468,0.0,0.0,0.2311378595464231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18715087727654367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lonelygui,2019/02/25,Depressed I’ve been developing depression ever since I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder a year ago and I am not sure what to. My anxiety has been getting worse ever since my parents got divorced and their newfound relationships have not been making it any better. Ever since my second semester of community college started up my attention in class has been very lackluster because I am starting to not see the point in all of this. I stress over my grades so much because I believe it is the only thing that can get me away from my home the soonest. The only thing I really do is play games on my computer all day and occasionally study but that is not helping out my grades at all. I am just afraid of the near future and how I might fail all of my classes because I just can’t find the inspiration to give them attention anymore. I wish that I just didn’t hate myself so much and I could do good in school so I can get out of my terrible living situation. Also I am on medication and I have been going to therapy but I just don’t think it is doing much.,5.592351440029162,5.9792867914692,6.902085308056872,74.48683558148016,67.34123222748815,10.283776886620489,32.81844695588771,10.214889679676881,3.3292111556689754,847,35,161,20,13,289,118,211,0.141,0.787,0.07200000000000001,-0.9043,1,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,2,2,12,12,1,2,8,0,28,2,0,2,8,37,41,13,0,2,10,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,10,9,0,0,5,2,0,1,7,7,0,1,8,1,30,5,23,31,7,23,0,3,1,0,8,13,0,1,9,131,40,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750749764601768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969876581235886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247463194925038,0.0,0.18555790050709656,0.0,0.12027727766964635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394665326169395,0.0,0.0,0.22179368349078424,0.0,0.0,0.13664114983031694,0.0,0.10726239933064237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683229715976276,0.0,0.0,0.0782156360628737,0.0,0.2089167576946656,0.1230967561521953,0.0,0.0,0.13899751037225438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291144018616605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084782104989277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009155149807688,0.1163429302449114,0.06892627997433164,0.10172400004709607,0.09699878108954964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973899742487315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129149955978597,0.0,0.12165383636433558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709255684740772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095541348929422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221769489579753,0.0,0.1286590282853971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26746450096747604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447797363830132,0.0,0.0,0.13466720680838193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146489027508289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769514239761749,0.0,0.0,0.13020944760574202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227419435919208,0.0966445434622784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009724745107807,0.1363239222295473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168536858001848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892595334005742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430506599597146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138694372554007,0.0,0.16114622875381387,0.0777113957883677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006879014014808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946613823055135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359479075771787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810041288384907
mentalhealth,starrynight40,2019/02/25,"Mentally ill family is just miserable all of the time I have an 84 year old grandmother that I assist my mother with taking care of.  She lives in her own world most of the time. Decades ago, supposedly some doctor or psychiatrist or something diagnosed her as paranoid schizophrenic with very high anxiety. I say supposedly because my mother told me that and she apparently heard that from her mother (my grandmother) decades ago.

Honestly, my grandmother seems to have been miserable from the time she was a kid to present. She hates everyone, has always been argumentative, bull-headed and always wanted to do things her way. That way always seemed to be the wrong way, whether opening a simple package of something or living life in general. Her huge list of symptoms:

* Very hard to get along with most of the time. She hates everyone. She can't turn on the TV without hurling racial slurs, bashing on news people, talking about their outward appearance and such. If you don't want to listen to her nonsense and tell her, she'll get offended and then act like you're somehow attacking her or ""arguing with her"" when really it is her. 
*  She constantly makes up lies about family members, neighbors, strangers, etc. She adds her own twist to news stories and is just an absolute pack of lies. She'll start it off with, ""The newspaper said..."" or ""They said on TV that...""  and they absolutely did not. No idea why she does this. 
* For at least half of her life, she has been unable to do basic tasks properly. I mean stuff like washing dishes. She used to sit for various old people in their homes and would get complaints from their families that she didn't wash the dishes properly, they were all greasy, had food stuck on, etc. She does that to this day with dishes, utensils and even the very cups she drinks out of. Unable to open packages the right way. She'll just tear a big hole in it as if a rat chewed it open. She seems to have been unable to perform simple tasks for a lot of her life. No idea why. When she goes to the bathroom, she wants to leave the light off and the door halfway open while sitting on the toilet. Obviously, that's a big problem. Her reason? ""I'm just going to be in here for a minute. I was coming right out.""  Same for public bathrooms. 
* Possessions. She never owned her own home. She had 3 children and raised them very poorly, moving from apartment to apartment after not paying the rent and basically about to be kicked out all of the time. They changed schools sometimes every year. She worked various jobs that made decent money, but honestly just didn't seem to have sense enough to know what to do with it. She would get a car from a car lot and when it needed basic repairs (e.g. brakes after a certain amount of time), she'd take the car back to the car lot and ""get another one"" instead of fixing it. When it needed something, she'd do the same thing. She has ""ran out of gas"" a ridiculous amount of times in her life. 
* Very odd stories from her childhood. A lot of them don't make sense, have odd events and such. 
* Connects unrelated events. She could see some comics sitting on a car in a random parking lot and will remember back 10-20 years ago when some person she knew joked with her, ""See you in the funny pages.""  She'll say they knew she was going to pass by and put it there as a joke for her. 
* Called the bomb squad out to the neighbor's house one time because she said somebody told her a bomb would go off in xx minutes. Thankfully, they didn't break their door down. She heard it raining hard and said there was an ""awful crackling sound"" and said it was ""something about to blow up.""  
* She is miserable. Has no compassion for anything or anyone. Not kids, not adults, not animals. She got dogs for her young kids earlier in life and they basically let the dog die from whatever instead of treating it. Her solution was to ""keep it until it died and get another one.""  Just like with cars.
* Paces the floor from the living room to dining room to kitchen looking out of the window in each room every 2-3 minutes. I have no idea how many hundreds of times per day she does this. There are times at night where she literally jumps up every 1-2 minutes and it is dark outside with nothing to see, but it is like she's watching the neighbors. No idea why. She also wants to sleep with the curtains open next to her bed all night, probably so she can jump up and look out. Sometimes she says she hears ""screams"" or ""footsteps"" and goes tearing to the window.
* Is convinced that a man from two houses down has set up speakers/microphones throughout the neighborhood and plays various ""tapes"" (sounds of death, grinding sounds, loud music, sexual talk, etc.) to disturb her and the neighborhood. Whoever the ""guy"" was (if there even was one), he moved decades ago. 
* Sometimes you can talk to her and she just has this blank stare. She'll repeat the last word that you emphasized to her almost in a mocking way and then she still didn't get what you just said to her or asked her. 

​

Some of this stuff...I have a hard time believing it is just schizophrenia only. She's ""there"" enough to refuse help physically, but sure does need it mentally. Haven't been able to get her help, even when she filed false police reports, called the bomb squad out and got a ridiculous response, etc. They wouldn't take her. Some sort of psychosis mixed with schizophrenia and super high anxiety or something? There are times when she can't sit down and has to stand up to watch tv, 2-3 feet from it like it can't tell her stories quickly enough. ",4.271812985571587,6.12816621792453,4.212774694783576,87.07056048834629,71.72641509433963,7.3655937846836865,26.527192008879023,8.047295041942544,1.5487615982241951,4381,149,854,63,85,1342,421,1060,0.085,0.835,0.08,0.7639,3,0,6,0,0,0,179.0,0,5,14,3,43,32,8,4,57,1,74,22,2,6,8,157,139,64,3,16,31,3,3,5,3,10,12,18,16,8,41,60,8,3,14,8,4,19,23,15,0,6,38,30,109,17,146,84,37,145,0,3,8,0,141,61,0,33,58,560,150,6,0.04399175994852463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559841635338338,0.0,0.044051392991888656,0.0,0.0,0.035180194537050034,0.10981400515075654,0.04766505352466327,0.05345480347553377,0.0,0.09225839203647657,0.06730715189975861,0.0,0.0,0.03076006141537478,0.0,0.03620147009676495,0.0,0.04112635710079722,0.050046977798115067,0.0,0.06765389590226012,0.0,0.05363393709573425,0.0,0.0,0.04956364887861558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898410109621377,0.0,0.044852531164629034,0.0,0.04653744892633378,0.03789500589902075,0.0,0.04753946414531585,0.0,0.03512384067681052,0.0,0.0,0.05674209163860141,0.0,0.0,0.0446507103284804,0.09131300284678134,0.0,0.0,0.04502743039779335,0.15398994234477098,0.0,0.0,0.043095176911626114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636574329653786,0.19624976415669235,0.08716842764949341,0.0,0.11119486531704192,0.08407202371254248,0.0,0.0,0.12441454833928853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531950107501584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838710310413689,0.0,0.07500459290775717,0.0,0.0703684583091741,0.0,0.0,0.04355875872368594,0.0,0.0,0.11822392815486082,0.08686551061395006,0.045148237330238684,0.0,0.04958191068571377,0.0,0.05897349877398962,0.09295941940167718,0.08825464419446329,0.0,0.0,0.10152116906769096,0.0,0.1986453691458385,0.0,0.0,0.04365503370899395,0.039101897541521866,0.0,0.0,0.024176720783795267,0.03585915586003314,0.0,0.046580921876794634,0.0,0.04498455508029205,0.15536340521273467,0.10746075900611447,0.0,0.11653659000285473,0.0,0.07388399749779997,0.0,0.0,0.18700110574006346,0.0,0.04162606693955037,0.05872968273450911,0.04460073980805161,0.0,0.04791992321029207,0.0,0.0,0.08866669411149505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351255760798667,0.0,0.09785799775279418,0.033929157278277784,0.0,0.04678573578089134,0.08256657325628701,0.0,0.042211280134936274,0.0,0.09232390371085726,0.0,0.11923982022726548,0.033457715785477814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099669453831949,0.03841190794576885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04743055774339278,0.042094173053783504,0.0,0.04422386935389621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028182247896417743,0.04523085604435638,0.0,0.0,0.049834088340595516,0.07513744525829474,0.2510774263362568,0.10495203963306322,0.0,0.044522009675880464,0.10516721113983968,0.1601937841687288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044023530271443456,0.0,0.0,0.16933503025654192,0.1305269263664402,0.0,0.03113759411591157,0.0,0.03513187632136472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072008040941233,0.0,0.0,0.04146171313039052,0.04572428273056068,0.099228985917642,0.10607673080512273,0.07690147442063902,0.04050170208125235,0.0,0.0,0.05845234111382601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307823387980163,0.0,0.0,0.08407202371254248,0.0,0.0,0.047850402272121006,0.04297355721697912,0.0,0.0,0.037994756030070416,0.0,0.1814890457367086,0.10378991921935224,0.17459305699631053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908716261899308,0.0,0.0,0.0424064867407631,0.0,0.032026525181858195,0.0,0.0,0.09375145224653303,0.04809808356153915,0.05345480347553377,0.08498775324103304
mentalhealth,jcidjcisjd,2019/02/25,"Is it possible to create subconscious habits your unable to recognize? First some backstory. I've always been extremely self conscious. Even in 3rd grade I remember talking to teacher about how much I hate myself (10th grade now). I've felt terrible about myself for as long as I can remember. I used to think there was a possibility that other people could read my thoughts, so I would constantly try to think in a ""cool"" way. I think that's what really messed me up. I've really stopped caring about what other people think for the most part recently and I've noticed it still feels like I think and speak through a filter. In my head it feels like I think more and different thoughts that I'm consciously aware of, and not just normal subconscious thoughts but stuff that I should be consciously aware of. Like I already said before, I think this is due to constantly trying to suppress my own thoughts, interests, and emotions almost 24/7 for at least 5 years. Is it possible I've built up a subconscious habit of not being myself and I don't even know about it, because that's exactly what it feels like in my head. Also, I've had 1 day where I acted completely different from how I normally act however it didn't feel like I was thinking through a filter, the thoughts in my head flowed smoothly from one to the other and my speech was natural, I never feel like that, even when I'm alone. I've tried meditation, didn't work for me.",5.141363636363637,6.635861636363638,5.477227272727274,80.28384090909091,69.0,9.572727272727274,29.75,9.888512548439397,2.9128363636363632,1150,44,215,28,20,366,142,275,0.04,0.86,0.1,0.9403,4,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,2,17,12,1,0,8,1,17,3,3,3,2,51,43,15,0,5,4,0,7,6,0,2,0,3,0,1,21,7,0,2,25,1,0,3,6,3,0,2,14,11,28,9,33,24,7,26,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,3,19,140,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220616426858668,0.08502553770719808,0.09059374208196376,0.06565124629875134,0.06830951708365395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004427719317329,0.0,0.06985669675627837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370120203600204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607492031389534,0.17743080222185129,0.0,0.0655460819809539,0.0,0.0,0.05294440640100718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154335429576026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234569092597326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626686830018776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20754819135241484,0.29324299526523984,0.07882395950400943,0.0,0.0,0.06982986343953727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105169836649563,0.2527590953882078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045117199371978736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406444711224531,0.0,0.0,0.07265138589268155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034918314662599,0.0,0.06331663285259559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608711050491744,0.0,0.09346556560314848,0.0,0.0,0.0556296156784659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890075552489422,0.0,0.1138285068983221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776489284409975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211709656929296,0.0,0.1051841652525059,0.0,0.08105879052192559,0.0,0.1859949923970209,0.0,0.07809103092128791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856428646196168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556107763651349,0.06863499608742064,0.0,0.0,0.09397899717729696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598475527017758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42082467677450136,0.0,0.3258708252633008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721110508853354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090361832889065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516309496154285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597660507702139,0.0,0.0,0.05831784771040921,0.0,0.0,0.05286641147410801
mentalhealth,newyorkgyal,2019/02/25,"Mental health coach/ life-buddy for only 10$ a month Hey everyone! I've recently started up my own business in which I am constantly on-call for my clients for the price of 10$ a month. The service fee is due to the fact that this is now my full-time profession. If you are feeling alone and need a quality counselor and friend by your side 24/7 7 days a week via text/email/phone, then I am your girl. ",4.744642857142857,4.627486083333333,5.290571428571429,87.05442857142859,69.1190476190476,9.100952380952384,29.895238095238096,8.841846274778883,2.0202695238095245,317,11,71,5,5,102,66,84,0.027000000000000003,0.904,0.068,0.4574,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,0,5,1,0,0,1,6,8,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,8,8,1,13,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,10,37,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887837592695518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30131614252349953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982226428758474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664339863168558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14098481125694198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21542334395157708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963832205296161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19694585452170768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809950292910403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4451188453690976,0.0,0.0,0.20674889047840025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120627575294432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753109580956296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973572886263452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22366058399718766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lmaoitsme0,2019/02/25,"does anyone else feel this way? lately for the past few months i’ve been slowly getting progressively worsening problems but i don’t know what they are. i’m not very close with my family so i can’t really talk to them about it either. but lately i’ve been getting very anxious around loud sudden noises, sudden fast movements, people touching and poking me (my sisters), people jumping near/on me and more stuff like that. when these things happen i don’t really know how i feel because of so many emotions running through my head and it makes me feel like i want to go in a dark doom and cry and hide away from everyone and be alone. people are starting to notice and ask me questions about what happened and why i changed. i’ve never been like this ever and it’s getting worse and it just makes me feel like crying. does anyone else feel this way?",4.752269076305222,6.11107231927711,4.874879518072291,84.7507931726908,69.78313253012048,6.979116465863456,25.88152610441768,7.1686216300943375,1.1982345381526107,679,20,127,6,12,212,102,166,0.154,0.7559999999999999,0.09,-0.8905,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,1,9,6,0,0,2,0,9,1,1,3,2,33,28,16,0,2,5,1,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,13,13,0,0,8,0,0,4,5,2,0,0,3,7,16,4,13,24,3,21,1,1,0,0,6,4,0,1,15,76,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177605426888925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845041761746376,0.0,0.1590055720131621,0.23300140358148175,0.0,0.10121850925020602,0.106295625475593,0.0,0.10682637398162184,0.0,0.0,0.06931142571583576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028119168296628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24979168561788115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900203169430047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899661546546572,0.1278989697880231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284958551398077,0.0,0.10864672895317486,0.0,0.0,0.1071877271759924,0.0,0.28745466723098834,0.1624568579904554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821314264002988,0.0,0.06461922619867969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20109185724929174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669062043049785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497482582100475,0.0,0.25652066164703397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22219538802604968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179337048860006,0.11527555243834435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075551361389322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769366530361608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944999849403194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854102040417918,0.2364790704171805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879705301063572,0.0,0.0,0.12737178754738482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568028284712187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047856109025044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016110226868316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138902027963353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553827517446733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187631416867486,0.06706413574658948,0.18050203816140026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259798767389608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587162028656835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kaye_g,2019/02/25,"I really, really need help To preface this, I'm a 14 year old girl. This has been happening to me a few times a week or several years, but it's been getting worse lately. Sorry if there's a problem with the format, I'm on mobile (and sorry it's so long!!)

Sometimes, at night, I'll feel terrified all of a sudden. It gets hard to breathe, I get really cold or hot (it depends), and I get a feeling like I am being watched and that someone is behind me. I can get really imaginative with this, which isn't really a good thing. One night someone is looking at me through the window, another night someone is standing right behind me with a knife inches away from me. There's no reason why I think stuff like this is going on, I have never been stalked or attacked or anything. 

Normally, this happens when I am in bed and I can't sleep. When it does happen, there's a voice in my head that tells me what to do in order to make the feeling go away. Typically it's something alone the lines of ""face the wall, close your eyes tight, tap 26 times and don't move or you'll be killed"". 

Today, it was dark out and I had to go into my basement to put laundry in the dryer. As soon as I got down there, I got the feeling but worse. I had to back against a wall and tap my foot 5 times but that didn't help. I decided to just do my laundry because I was probably just imagining things but I got so scared I could barely breathe or stop looking behind myself. 

Is this normal? What could be causing it, and how do I stop it? ",3.2897066511763002,4.098574626198086,4.69921144350857,86.71189006680224,72.70607028753994,7.607841998257334,26.687336625036306,7.84624498591911,1.4144709265175717,1170,39,252,15,22,391,161,313,0.145,0.7959999999999999,0.058,-0.9821,0,1,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,0,0,13,7,2,1,17,0,30,7,7,5,2,51,55,26,1,7,13,0,7,2,0,1,0,1,2,1,24,14,0,3,9,0,0,5,6,4,0,1,11,13,31,3,35,38,2,46,0,0,4,0,6,18,0,8,23,173,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561656201509178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968064648037406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759721964237257,0.0,0.0,0.1050282990588277,0.17347696230724965,0.07098903793931981,0.0,0.05627793558001108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483894779328568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14742137907226882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079060129204935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18672079043271508,0.06595403639510615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24116917851625025,0.0,0.15740420623357287,0.07743435202692853,0.22151226134227056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449170783401184,0.0,0.08270135133331827,0.0,0.0947478305568699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376144451250505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213934624764834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414194428996766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020661171198943,0.0,0.0,0.08170105043748355,0.15505253116708428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162488678889226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812245712244973,0.0,0.06845474329298162,0.07120353384397914,0.0,0.0,0.2599106018910454,0.1809096702844906,0.0,0.0,0.09687520601481288,0.0,0.06255899981148194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995374950170852,0.08833858887465791,0.0,0.09280795725120633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295715514746473,0.09492121371397506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884150470522214,0.0,0.0,0.09242928014828374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429628669793088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238752680783577,0.0,0.2346694794747031,0.07107310363739709,0.09130768503774593,0.20669127479954108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543687352474775,0.0,0.0,0.10568529002032312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069249541997181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266774605164568,0.05915547535679332,0.0,0.0,0.16149909681109534,0.0,0.08750937460008837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405422020335044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330521095645409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816567440912205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890320596705785
mentalhealth,funwithdespair,2019/02/25,"Is it wrong to be considering going to group therapy just to meet people? I've always struggled with depression, but it's been getting a lot worse recently, to the point where I'm not really feeling safe, due to a big reason. A large degree of my mental health problems come from being really isolated and quite literally not knowing any people in real life who live in my city, as all my friends moved away. I won't go too into detail about things I've been diagnosed with and what not, but largely as long as I have the option to spend time with people I enjoy the company of, and who understand me (like my friends whenever I travel to visit them), I feel much better than when I'm alone.

Due to the smallish nature of the city I live in though, I'm having an extreme amount of trouble actually meeting anyone who I have anything in common with, and it's kind of dragging me into a really dark place. I've tried medication, counseling, and therapy, but none of it actually does anything for me because I'm still alone at the end of it all.

Which brings me to this question. Is it deceptive or immoral to seek out group therapy solely with the intention of using it to make friends who understand how I feel and might have stuff in common with me, rather than the actual therapy itself? I'm out of other ideas.",10.577968750000004,7.022210234375002,10.619000000000003,64.52600000000001,59.9375,13.990000000000002,40.834375,11.979248473330829,4.78110125,1044,39,189,24,10,352,143,256,0.13,0.794,0.076,-0.8956,0,2,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,2,9,13,0,1,13,0,12,4,0,5,2,47,30,16,0,2,9,0,3,1,3,2,4,0,0,0,18,17,0,1,9,1,1,7,5,5,0,0,2,3,18,8,45,24,6,32,0,1,0,0,14,15,0,5,11,132,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.29709723496653584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21021080635065492,0.0,0.0,0.08444168102193078,0.0,0.0,0.06901167105028316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709590172224271,0.0,0.16702312166318056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534627516756286,0.0,0.0,0.061862871707085126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975314279941671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741830323162336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740684388738894,0.1030027372314868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880813681878362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988349200748019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393800675882452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352156936734813,0.0,0.05302048767955523,0.0,0.1153498390446962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787129431018452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145615411818514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567854665445506,0.05577220159975541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168018553249719,0.04957928884523367,0.0,0.17922204999071176,0.08980893754289239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627690630155654,0.0,0.0,0.06774044616410815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223307715520716,0.10227062601650848,0.10765703741660172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785997947490583,0.07460141266934693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110658415050666,0.0,0.10602775296402232,0.0,0.09593389113618253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710517512797552,0.0,0.0,0.113683775377105,0.10793927291336834,0.0,0.11550945477176305,0.1950371216927154,0.10434104957386024,0.10020185803529638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104416253531478,0.0,0.0,0.10609168321051776,0.11617333632571115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4642169447260952,0.0,0.06742055264093218,0.0,0.09970617256642204,0.0,0.05917533993780365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890004693352471,0.0,0.0,0.2112940017665171,0.0,0.08764841237124797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341947386377796,0.0,0.11095532917574348,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Halezii,2019/02/25,"Feeling Excluded Long story short, my SO invited me over to play smash with his friends (with one of whom I've had bad experiences).  I usually dont play as I SUCK at smash. I thought, this is an opportunity to try to play the game and get along with someone I don't particularly care for --because he does. Because my SO loves to play and the guy I don't like is his friend.

Well there weren't enough controllers... NBD. I'll sit this one out and play the next one.  Then they played another. Still NBD I'll get a turn in a bit.  I was there an hour before I decided to leave. 

No one offered to let me play. As a matter of fact, no body even spoke to me while they talked amongst themselves.  I sat there with nothing to say and nothing to do feeling excluded and feeling like the tag-along no one really cares is there. 

I told my SO ""I think I'm gonna bounce"" he didn't ask why. He didn't protest. He sure as sh*t didn't ask me to play. A few minutes later he asked ""are you leaving?""

It def hurt my feelings but I'm not angry.  I'm not out to make this about me but I wasn't really sure how to handle the situation. I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable or make my SO think I was angry by just leaving but spending my time sitting outside the group and feeling excluded is a waste and it's unfair.

Maybe I should accept that his friends and smash just aren't meant for me.  It certainly doesn't feel good not to be accepted as one of da boizz but I think I'll live.",1.3657415467023777,3.2292222977346303,2.9622809954246168,92.80252427184469,80.06796116504856,6.333266376520478,22.952907041624822,7.372421405659032,0.7097163486218059,1146,38,264,16,29,377,154,309,0.159,0.687,0.154,0.1182,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,2,2,15,28,2,0,13,0,23,2,1,5,4,51,55,24,0,2,10,0,6,2,3,2,0,2,0,1,8,15,0,1,14,9,1,0,17,4,1,6,14,8,33,24,35,37,3,17,0,1,0,1,27,6,1,1,11,155,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227706266254116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820081424441117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735544968494937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144012809907579,0.11891647847082293,0.0,0.0829976257204688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064861976136369,0.10834269273378383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19889291539720788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939712356726806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535613202737287,0.0,0.11431377064321165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078279322745104,0.0,0.06442290715680031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541084758087613,0.0,0.0,0.2959087601567095,0.06968114295781146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260727735463233,0.0,0.10191912382457748,0.0,0.0,0.08181021887895053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965779220111168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605524975270864,0.0,0.10441641076795838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098358703534461,0.0,0.09973917943366048,0.0,0.09530424747300724,0.0,0.08612781164657894,0.08631803126093557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803182315690497,0.0,0.19532205066440966,0.0,0.0979899976259492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037327342163824,0.0,0.0,0.1871806194809912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.396565503561965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497063824539935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756610607208712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963676134317203,0.0,0.0,0.0826436027314184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778939462667464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385675875454846,0.0,0.0,0.07839732302656757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874951721095814,0.0,0.07743425052800806,0.05687517280992566,0.0,0.0,0.09320170715759574,0.0,0.06622187688444148,0.10609329912618816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742429034982533,0.0,0.05753041992939106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769834597559628,0.0,0.08801284396019224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheyCallMeElGuapo,2019/02/25,"Does anyone have tips for bringing up suicidal thoughts to a therapist? I'm a university student and my regular therapist left our campus to get a new job across the country. While I'm really excited for her, this means I'll have to get a new therapist. While I was very comfortable with my former therapist, I was never really able to being up the fact that I've been having ongoing and constant (as in every day) suicidal ideation. I feel like it's incredibly important to bring this up, yet I'm unsure of how to approach this topic with a new therapist, or anyone at all. 

Thanks!",6.124910714285715,6.761872383928572,7.6125000000000025,68.98250000000002,66.23214285714286,12.114285714285714,34.75,11.765960540728905,4.63145,465,21,81,16,7,161,72,112,0.096,0.782,0.122,0.2665,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,7,0,7,0,0,1,3,12,18,7,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,1,7,4,18,13,1,20,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,11,53,12,3,0.1262469241932962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17654956956629753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642807501146348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141882195722228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104795341245625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636847861804452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383423816777102,0.090190827869019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191761448271758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252805920418736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371676525295311,0.0,0.0,0.06167787018238626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751991100054206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736941081387254,0.3657901982407921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617540247509491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27618728872502724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623120598799358,0.0,0.7329120473462449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022595589120084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416693410696036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MagmaOnRL,2019/02/25,"Bipolar disorder, Okay so to be straight up about 2 months ago I made a throwaway account cause I didn’t want to post it on this one, but anyway I thought at the time I had schizophrenia but I’ve been doing more research and looking at my behavior and things that have happened to me and stuff and believe I might have a bipolar disorder,

A little bit about me, I’m 14, 15 in a few months if that’s needed but yeah I don’t have a psychiatrist yet, and I’ve been going to therapy and have had about 4 or 5 appointments so far and about to have another on the 27th and I don’t know what to do, should I tell him I think I have it cause I’ve only realized today my symptoms are like really close to the disorder, 

I was talking to a friend (I talk to them about this stuff cause they’ve been to therapy) and brought up that it may be bipolar disorder and they agreed as well that my symptoms are super close to it as well, but anyway yeah, I unknowingly told my therapist symptoms I have. 

So yeah um that’s about it ",0.6031753554502366,2.931134853080572,2.46558104265403,92.41816303317538,86.7251184834123,6.0300284360189575,22.658009478672987,7.404127859558343,0.9675424075829384,798,30,174,14,25,264,104,211,0.06,0.78,0.16,0.958,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,1,14,6,0,0,9,4,25,6,0,4,0,32,37,21,0,4,6,0,0,1,1,3,6,0,0,0,16,12,0,0,4,0,1,2,3,0,3,1,11,1,23,6,26,21,3,21,0,0,1,0,8,12,0,5,7,126,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011035299852153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842253706536453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723943951032524,0.0,0.0,0.12329612677143473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480470699883436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5177346746586653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725355326603608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641837487635065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986833643281212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206630204450087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055174496045594885,0.11319086653580696,0.0,0.0,0.09483723094546437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068621367926132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980653461498347,0.0,0.0,0.18028780062414726,0.0,0.0,0.08374011375529428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652790016624067,0.08589240502179245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816082477808324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234926216314924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25856785907983937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521491398401674,0.0,0.18154627538671606,0.09871045336839046,0.0,0.2583027770027241,0.13112661879697135,0.07502921283705642,0.07236439722555005,0.0,0.0896580344073593,0.0658534972049919,0.0,0.10704948453758023,0.10791454440613288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666121817455119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030848433950944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonymous12223,2019/02/25,"Accepting that my parents are emotionally absent Last night I had another dream about my parents. In my dream, I was screaming at my mom, throwing things at her and my dad and saying all sorts of crazy things. At first I was upset then unbelievably angry and then finally, I woke up, and felt very anxious and scared and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Just a little info about me: I’m 23 and I moved across the country from home (intentionally) and am lucky to have a really good, well paying job. I struggle a lot with letting people into my life and generally being avoidant (ignoring texts, ghosting people, not really letting myself emotionally connect). I also find that I have regular periods of depression and generally feel a lack of purpose in life.  At the same time I’m extremely sensitive and feel emotions very strongly and always have.  But somehow I’ve made many emotions “off limits” and won’t let myself listen to music or watch movies that cause them. 

Going back to the dream - In the last month or so, I had a breakdown about the aforementioned mental struggles.  

It’s hard to explain concisely, but basically my family has barely reached out to me at all for the last couple months and I got really upset because this is how it’s been since I moved out.  It feels like they only reach out if they need something from me or if they feel anxious about our relationship and want to get clear that it’s okay. 

But otherwise, I never get calls or check ins. Ever. And when I make an effort, I sense that they have a general lack of interest in the things in my life (sometimes they even invalidate me because I am “lucky to have a good job”). Yet I always listen to their issues if they have any. 

After weeks of not hearing from them, I got extremely upset and felt very, very lonely and invisible. And I realized that this didn’t just start when I moved out - my parents have always been emotionally absent.  

Example: When I was young, my mom forced me to play sports even though I didn’t want to. When I would protest, she would tell me I was “being ridiculous” and that “all boys play sports”.  There were even times when I was young when I would just cry at my games and she’d get angry and yell at me and punish me in some way.  She’d also go on about how she couldn’t wait for me to get older so she could watch me play sports.  It’s like she didn’t see or care that I hated it.  This is just one of countless examples growing up.  On top of this, looking back, I realize that I made so many efforts to get them to “notice me” and at some point, I “accepted” that it wasn’t going to happen.

But now I think I’ve carried this into my adult life and now I have such a hard time connecting with people.  Sometimes I feel fine and am able to connect with my friends here, but other times (like today after my dream), I feel so very very empty and alone and scared, honestly.  Very scared. 

Anyways, I’m trying to find a therapist. Has anyone here ever had this experience? What can I do? I have been working on being more emotionally available, self soothing, and trying to be more authentic with people. But some days it’s so hard. I’m thankful to have a couple of really good friends who have been trying to support me through some of this.

Also, just typing this out has brought me to tears again honestly. This sucks so much. 

Thanks for any input you can provide ",5.05787322768974,5.9977364067278325,5.651466499860997,81.01813386155129,68.72477064220182,8.57542396441479,28.01348345843759,8.776555601660561,2.0429828746177368,2646,86,509,43,44,856,271,654,0.125,0.731,0.14400000000000002,0.909,5,4,1,0,0,0,72.0,1,1,10,7,47,44,5,9,18,1,56,5,1,7,7,120,103,63,1,14,21,6,11,3,2,4,4,6,1,3,33,40,0,4,17,11,2,10,10,18,1,2,25,21,83,26,77,62,14,83,0,2,4,0,40,32,1,17,43,371,116,7,0.05522900333447258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05720059125859321,0.0,0.13249984203866522,0.13786486523247915,0.0,0.0,0.07511523230132812,0.05791242550170497,0.0,0.12478610691431835,0.0,0.03861740326975234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740308344385629,0.0,0.06733417563123756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639498737725197,0.0,0.05630964971961549,0.05673539995364565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04409586513767357,0.12221968343432353,0.060666466808712925,0.03561813816928647,0.0,0.04756865964412989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727511707839605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943470747584992,0.09991559087228714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054024562875970385,0.0520649890883176,0.0,0.16755266119070564,0.03945561101742387,0.1060570085307686,0.06050067358055902,0.10095661697990063,0.04697776202255295,0.0,0.0,0.08533958194949448,0.0,0.1442743737460606,0.0,0.12555166139144827,0.13897040302392133,0.08834335846409823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488388252520896,0.0,0.14842301671766225,0.05452720669691469,0.0,0.0,0.06224710067965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553991934421593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576447305356485,0.10961252766889584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505702710342884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942619336686965,0.156039513483241,0.08094630391352681,0.05535397052091668,0.0,0.0,0.04637845302103002,0.0,0.0,0.046953723627119366,0.0,0.10451803667302503,0.03686578858599975,0.11198708169262217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05565784536093165,0.0,0.0,0.1293670824107859,0.08816652709229836,0.17609907043920495,0.040599672181407385,0.0409516061683512,0.042596012131601316,0.0,0.0,0.05182867831411213,0.0,0.0,0.06287858635166642,0.0,0.0,0.037424601997279365,0.04200414575007158,0.0,0.0,0.18397581687312786,0.0,0.0,0.15315534772832534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220925974255994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415244550220718,0.0,0.0,0.05929528070371597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04392032018145058,0.1658816013460147,0.0,0.04401036513440802,0.0,0.057615895475919006,0.0,0.0,0.04568600227904854,0.0,0.05526888906017381,0.0,0.0,0.04251798501185092,0.10924579299950392,0.0,0.03909137282225982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547469157485725,0.0,0.0,0.06267321849065939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048272583231189534,0.10169489203954067,0.0,0.06412512964638277,0.11007508722294802,0.03538851528731647,0.05426221536315322,0.0,0.1288179039368427,0.0,0.05235063740322216,0.0,0.0,0.11249060381134368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189879826005625,0.06515099420161398,0.04383821214840205,0.044301375112787665,0.0,0.04965750673434798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040207372201751086,0.0,0.0,0.11769929811387482,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DRoy711,2019/02/25,"How to deal with left over stress dealt by others. At work, I’m usually recognized as a hard worker. I get things done when needed but also like to have fun, and make sure everyone is happy. 

In August of 2016, I had a new co worker who eventually became my boss. She absolutely hated most people, but mostly me. 1) I was new 2) I was 18. She constantly would tell me how worthless I was to the organization, and where I work is contract based. If I decided I wanted to stay, she “barred” me from this organization. Thankfully, this did not go through the second person needed to approve it so I was not barred for very long. 

At first, I truly did believe I was worthless. Every fuck up I did I would blame myself, and eventually just decided I deserved anything harsh that came my way. She was extremely homophobic, and would constantly point that out. Nothing was done about her comments. She would actively go around telling everyone how worthless I and a few others were, and that she wished she was never assigned to lead “such terrible people”. This was constant until the day she left. 

The day she was leaving, I got a friend request from her on Facebook. I was furious. Because I finally figured out what this bitch wanted, and it was control. She wanted to be the top and didn’t care who she brought down, she had no feelings for anyone else at all. Her going away, she thought it was rude nobody bought her meal, after we all put in at least $20-50 for her plaque she didn’t deserve. 

I said after the day she left, I would never be that unhappy again. But her words still linger. I still feel way worse when I mess up a tiny task than I would have before, I still have a couple months left here and I feel like I should at least enjoy it but I don’t. I feel like she tarnished perfectly good references I could of had by absolutely trashing mine and others names. I feel like she is the reason I am not continuing with this organization. And I truly hate that she has that effect on me, and I’m unsure of how to get out of that mindset that I’m a “worthless employee”.",3.0720908593322385,5.124062123152712,4.328530377668312,84.11613437328954,75.55172413793103,7.1712096332786,24.824575807334426,8.07648339933343,1.5013094690749864,1626,55,317,27,36,534,201,406,0.159,0.695,0.146,-0.7959,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,1,0,0,11,18,26,6,1,14,0,43,4,0,10,6,73,74,27,0,15,9,0,6,4,1,7,0,1,0,1,24,20,3,1,12,2,1,7,9,13,0,2,30,7,65,13,46,34,7,61,0,4,0,1,36,25,2,3,30,240,89,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569406709313369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057440089942720075,0.08417077092991727,0.06760115561334729,0.07312951617467353,0.0,0.0,0.07718115097565356,0.0,0.0,0.0500769183968749,0.0,0.06990226054092333,0.0925531458157002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939559154691993,0.08375579585049918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663197962573757,0.09213644568317854,0.06558883418228001,0.09089567157325,0.0,0.15893681761133854,0.08469142072575013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813272352517353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862446938987105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921359246470922,0.15699268406860872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20768356392989626,0.1760605571862164,0.0,0.08998958598504299,0.0,0.06987540972224582,0.0,0.0,0.06346767063300432,0.07594489669331425,0.08583832472127252,0.0,0.14006053188779646,0.06890220274790365,0.0657016011741318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744852768680449,0.07358885466120085,0.16220912810309498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698332250014792,0.35701802356734097,0.0,0.0,0.1605342870879694,0.0,0.0,0.0726987725034817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05483471266561701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557009039089852,0.0,0.0,0.12182403488798994,0.1267158618071456,0.15867892466862485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882363090264173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139027511414026,0.07172883751700286,0.0,0.0,0.07765681587929073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258185830647341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446226437231577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814196552141674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755929258699775,0.1968115188561095,0.0,0.09410074514913552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774239199079919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436026914186014,0.07563123424771752,0.0,0.0,0.054575764423905535,0.0,0.0,0.06521667467247852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047488608587237,0.06778105524538637,0.14535981124847674,0.13041119472186646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446663647103533,0.0,0.0,0.1196100659330436,0.0,0.08371626486797902,0.3501353119282041,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BobHasABoiledBrain,2019/02/25,"Feeling of Wanting to go out and cause a public scene I live far from home at university. Late at night, when all the phones are unmanned, my parents are asleep, and nobody can hear my pain of depression and insomnia, I have no idea what to do. I start hurting myself banging on things and crying, until it feels like I'm going to explode or some kind of release or conclusion is imminent, but nothing ever happens. In these moments ifeel totally alone and suicidal, but I know I would never kill myself because of what it would do to my very loving parents. In these moments, I feel an urge to go out of my lonely flat and just wreak some sort of havoc; trashing anything, running through the city naked, fighting people. I have no idea why. I've almost acted on this a few times as this is a nightly feeling of depression for me when I can't sleep (every night). I've been outside at 4am staring at cars driving past and just wondering what would happen should one of the drivers stop and interact with me. I'm in such pain and just want someone to feel it, when there's nobody I can speak to. Can anyone empathize with this feeling of Wanting to cause public havoc/ get very public attention. Sometimes I'm so scared of myself I don't care if I get arrested or taken to a psych ward.
TL;DR When depressed at night and alone, get urge to go out and gain public attention or wreak havoc. Looking for similar experiences",5.977798930481285,6.488243883636365,6.380641711229947,78.12860962566849,66.52727272727273,8.652406417112301,33.267379679144376,8.4952907291091,2.699887700534759,1128,47,202,15,17,365,153,275,0.228,0.698,0.073,-0.9947,2,4,0,0,2,2,29.0,0,0,0,2,11,14,2,1,8,0,18,6,2,2,4,57,47,25,2,8,10,2,6,1,0,4,3,2,1,0,12,16,0,1,13,0,0,8,5,10,0,1,2,10,20,4,41,41,5,40,0,5,2,1,12,14,0,10,19,137,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816772970994617,0.2030690539656427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854823854132999,0.0,0.08067431902133715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05976112765677787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995305158651836,0.2014175682706491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076866667915137,0.0,0.0,0.2533117883872204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867812407361014,0.08259857969067473,0.0,0.0,0.09589688351763813,0.0,0.0,0.2974161599449457,0.07003610825212392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365747071904634,0.0,0.22286183185865155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338376793867932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049238800675573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833693634302132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049483222781031,0.22133879977452547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846102379159707,0.1020881983478361,0.0538773834374198,0.0,0.1105875679872723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04789487018710337,0.0,0.0865665585257472,0.0,0.08232457368135775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848026933171405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561051114986374,0.0,0.0,0.3679962196878599,0.0,0.09406707160793427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643094376656912,0.0,0.20863196038556525,0.0,0.2177121731492001,0.0,0.09358534627414378,0.06796501331683738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981499757096204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810563814316753,0.0,0.08306460057274775,0.0,0.0969589620754267,0.0,0.06938956331191751,0.0,0.0,0.08196151474163609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723420168122802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512999060474921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571649027368267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177801769381378,0.1734704633248253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846119345237152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631460052688743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20892340965806072,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kehndy12,2019/02/25,"I think the negative content I often see on Reddit might be adding to my depression, so just now I unsubscribed from a number of the more negative subreddits. Info is in the title. For more context, I'm constantly on this site and I need a hobby. I unsubscribed from these subreddits:

* /r/assholedesign
* /r/IdiotsFightingThings
* /r/lastimages 
* /r/mildlyinfuriating
* /r/morbidlybeautiful
* /r/nononono
* /r/rage
* /r/ShittyLifeProTips
* /r/therewasanattempt
* /r/Wellthatsucks
* /r/worstof

I know /r/lastimages makes me think about death way too much and it's not helping me. I'm not sure my idea will help me as a whole, but it's worth a shot. I wanted to throw out this idea because it could help somebody else.

I'll look for some happier subreddits later, but I don't want things that are too over the top and come off as superficial to me.",2.2337797400049046,4.959220894039738,3.1579985283296566,82.38235957812118,98.33774834437088,7.005248957566839,23.473387294579343,7.793537801064563,2.1304788324748603,669,27,118,18,27,212,95,151,0.1,0.7859999999999999,0.114,0.6049,0,0,0,0,2,1,47.0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,8,0,7,0,0,1,1,25,19,8,1,4,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,6,0,1,2,5,1,0,0,0,2,14,1,17,15,5,14,0,1,2,0,3,8,0,3,3,74,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432105393428924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17567783859697542,0.0,0.2203886794835758,0.0,0.16283096590007526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565480963447647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703672397054399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100937532529953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604510313553086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208110279696466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125978317440047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361327631374149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635006564918755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499207196839173,0.15122029166982134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251524359657304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221277248733887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354898977344589,0.2613553950245654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24058036466860205,0.16187954143024938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276937833565185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wildnutt10,2019/02/25,I’m not sure what to do I just feel like such a failure. I want to rip away my skin and hurt myself. I hate myself. I just keep scratching myself and hitting myself and I feel insane and so retarded. I feel like I should be locked up. I don’t want to hurt anyone else but I feel like it’s all I do. For the past few days all I’ve been thinking about is killing myself. I don’t know what to do or how to deal with it. I feel like a 5 year old in a 17 year old body and everyone is just shouting at me. I don’t deserve love. I’m just a freak. ,-1.3140898617511496,0.4423939274193565,1.2820276497695886,101.6466129032258,89.56451612903227,4.188018433179724,16.11520737327189,5.288315135182226,-1.015053456221198,413,9,109,2,14,141,68,124,0.196,0.66,0.14400000000000002,-0.7634,0,0,0,0,0,3,11.0,0,0,0,0,8,11,2,0,5,0,11,3,2,1,3,28,26,9,1,3,7,0,7,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,7,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,8,20,6,12,22,3,10,0,2,0,1,2,4,0,1,10,70,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604561531032572,0.15539566883179687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249146639105598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846232178632922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780946046490624,0.15635688995828445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669416237075046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491956574125447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834243878926677,0.43338952840102907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973485257246075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247146724290393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480417768344946,0.16779156182449478,0.0,0.08334948350987459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963776217903677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368809002794094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182875692171252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14477856529730926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293966521584406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717890279540824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17890838542220616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19533074537973724
mentalhealth,crashed_panoz,2019/02/25,"new medication, need encouragement hey everyone.. to be honest I'm not suffering terribly but I recently was put on a new medication and the transition has made me really uncomfortable physically and mentally. unfortunately I'm not in a position to seek encouragement from the people in my immediate surroundings, so I'm outsourcing it to all of you.. I just need someone to tell me to hang in there! ",6.046525821596244,8.613673394366195,8.802464788732399,53.029800469483604,68.5774647887324,14.87417840375587,37.18544600938967,13.023866798666859,6.994519248826292,325,18,50,18,6,119,50,71,0.092,0.753,0.156,0.4294,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,1,1,10,9,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,6,3,11,6,1,10,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,34,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305889149577949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283401584900705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.486203358957933,0.2431909675205562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35786727499130777,0.0,0.4661312886403999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16729895378389473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24259042661842964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545939701826654,0.0,0.23827161084383744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044672706457796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21092185916614603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AndieTy,2019/02/25,"I seriously need help! I don't know where to begin. I work at a decently sized target not too big or too small. My co workers absolutely adore me. I live life doing what makes me happy and Loving any time I can. Recently though thing's have been so hard. I try my best everyday to make a fool out of myself because it's fun and it makes people laugh even in my work environment my manager's and co worker's are great people! Up until corporate decided to change the way we do literally everything which was a shame because the old way was so efficient I couldn't even think of a way to improve it because it was so flawless! That's not why I am here though.

​

Like I said I do my best to put smile's on people's faces and make everyday for every one new and full of life. My manager's honor me with promotion offer's and everybody want's me to be in their work center all the time. When I am not showing up at a party everyone's blowing up my phone and it makes me happy that so many people want me around it makes me feel loved and appreciated which is all I ever want from anyone. Just yesterday my personal manager said I was her favorite out of the rest and again it makes me feel good to be wanted everywhere. You can call me an attention whore but it just feel's so great to have all this attention by just being me and doing what I want to do everyday.

​

Recently though my relationship with my closest friends has degraded and it's heartbreaking. I used to log on to my computer everyday so excited to play a new game with them. I know guy's make fun of each other for fun but most of the time I'm just trying to enjoy myself and the jokes are just really annoying after a while. Couple of day's ago I left the group chat with them because of recent event's. 

​

I have just gotten out of a toxic relationship with my ex. I gave her everything I was. I had met her on tinder and I would hang out with her and her family for a while. I am not a big social media person but she was so I deleted my old outdated facebook and created one with my personality all over it fo her. After a while of hanging out with her I decided to propose to her and make us facebook official. I sat outside waiting for an hour for her to get home and when she did I walked up to the driver door got on my knees and proposed to her with a ring pop and gave her favorite care bear to her. Only to be laughed at and called stupid. Then she tell's everybody how stupid I am. After a while she started making break up threat's and wouldn't even let me hug her or let me tell her I love her without shoving e into a wall. After when I'm upstairs crying about it she proceeds to tell me that I am so dramatic and why she broke up with her ex. which by the way she would inform me of a new ex every day. I even bought us bracelets that vibrate each other when tapped and I just put forth so much effort to Love her and she eventually started ignoring me for 3 day's and then text's me ""I can't pretend everything is okay"" After accusing ME of cheating and lying!

​

During our relationship my childhood best friend my cat had died and that was heartbreaking and I still cannot get over it  on top of my Dad and Grandfather going to the hospital every week now. Some how And I credit God with this I still can keep a smile and putting smiles on people's faces everyday. So with my cat being gone and my ex leaving me with hugless arm's I decided to get a synthetic companion as sort of an adult stuffed animal. It's a realistic sex doll with heating that I would like to use for cuddling so I've got something physical to hold onto after everything that's happened to me. Everyone around me is being so kind and not judging me for this except for my closest friend's who did nothing but judge and didn't want to hear anything about it. I am still able to put smile's on people's faces but I am starting to feel so alone and I do not know what I can do anymore. On top of all of this I had the most awful day at work.

​

I go in prepared to my duties and my boss enlightens me on a new strategy that she want's me to try so I get in and get to work and my older coworker is just so cranky today and I'm just trying to mind my business and get my work done. Meanwhile she is just criticizing on how I am doing thing's differently and I explain to her I am doing as I was instructed only for her to doubt me. I just shrug it off and continue to do me and she is finding every way to yell at me accusing me of doing something for 5 min. for something I didn't do. Then the real culprit revealed herself and then she apologizes to me and everything's cool it had been rough so far but I think to myself I can get through it. and for 2 hours she is just whining and bitching in an amount I didn't know she was capable of. and it's just upsetting for me. Then she start's yelling at me and threatening to leave work if I keep it up which I don't why that is considered a threat but I could tell my higher up boss was getting mad at the way she was acting so she told me to just do thing's another way.

​

I do my job the way my manager want's it to be done and I am constantly getting bitched at by coworker's like her who don't do anything all day but stay in one area doing the same thing while I am everywhere carrying the place on my back trying to assist other co worker's and filling out paperwork almost all day just running around the place doing tasks in every work center. meanwhile coworker's who do one thing criticize me on how I am doing a simple task that doesn't matter if it's done right.

​

I just don't know what to do anymore. I do everything right mean while staying true to myself and people constantly find way's to hurt me. and humiliate me in way's I don't want to be humiliated and it's just so mentally exhausting. I just don't know what to do about my closest friends and I don't understand why people try to hurt me when I am not doing anything to hurt them. A handful of people give me so much attitude despite the amount of politeness I return to them. I am just confused when people accuse me of doing stuff I didn't do. I literally sit there trying to understand the weight of what they accuse me of and I got nothing to say because I have no knowledge of it.

​

The main thing I want to know is how can I continue to remain mentally healthy and is getting this realistic sex doll as a cuddle buddy a healthy choice to make as I continue to put more passion into my career.",3.644694331859494,4.585554222549742,5.209769021739131,82.88784685120366,71.99189388356669,8.572368582657822,27.91581460329157,8.930421266530582,2.0969825657086707,5188,187,1075,99,96,1758,429,1357,0.103,0.758,0.139,0.992,2,1,3,0,1,0,89.0,4,1,6,19,74,65,9,4,48,3,114,21,6,20,9,216,199,118,1,19,40,5,8,3,5,4,3,7,2,5,61,85,1,6,28,6,2,14,25,26,0,4,39,16,199,39,182,144,24,175,0,7,0,11,99,71,2,11,79,786,260,24,0.031576128544635824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027990332760243517,0.0,0.03161893157513457,0.032703346310128736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273701776685966,0.3069476188898521,0.021472850201937902,0.033110323952416566,0.0,0.0,0.0626300695148645,0.022078763259966844,0.0,0.07795338999515818,0.08432834679820175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0242800937727296,0.0,0.09624257440890438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941159644582674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448551533377869,0.0,0.032193967489907355,0.0,0.03340335715499425,0.0,0.0,0.06824515466314926,0.0,0.0252109692699274,0.03493838564707598,0.0346848945055129,0.12218394410010905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0327710362015576,0.03299033369277018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694002749649877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342294040868446,0.028562416036098732,0.1330212508305636,0.06034468797932106,0.17027152977237936,0.0,0.02976716378840802,0.0,0.0638633573946974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772001887999215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758255434244853,0.0,0.16497223907927855,0.030290699748023557,0.035890883048168815,0.02648455850396884,0.07576294359415076,0.06962558638797457,0.0,0.031265331651047334,0.02792266619025552,0.06722675198297857,0.0282860089922732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03558859175292569,0.0,0.021164813367245967,0.0,0.031673431490423135,0.0,0.062192252179476985,0.0,0.10140869604017044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03133443530398771,0.05613262777188265,0.0,0.03288167881366364,0.12147390122721005,0.0,0.0,0.06686912179146108,0.034307556054252016,0.06457746157010434,0.04460630681627622,0.046279504305146615,0.0,0.02788230000640588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399475530360527,0.0,0.2318504209582101,0.032013238274913015,0.0,0.03439566084438971,0.0,0.0,0.06364262157659753,0.0,0.0318828884876681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04642417535244618,0.023413299216175455,0.0,0.12198568684688155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060596293902948586,0.0,0.0662676704620993,0.0,0.08558720759390018,0.048030137266084516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189091172748655,0.08271317249136287,0.06598066738554037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871365286291986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03594054717809087,0.020228476498674926,0.0,0.0935328526958893,0.10170283506214277,0.0,0.05393168249616759,0.06007225821325556,0.025110604791693192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03218788657562331,0.0,0.07292653927117576,0.0,0.0,0.08939898522133974,0.06731190338198648,0.07565021113288266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03614711266104188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039571248885932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258666604090004,0.040465416366427205,0.09307015792303006,0.0,0.055236883448629294,0.0,0.0299304777605136,0.03017234398966053,0.0,0.15006682999205506,0.0,0.0,0.06574372681389824,0.07596438954606764,0.05454327364176372,0.0,0.0,0.18624418724906827,0.250636610909281,0.025328465675794217,0.038451217908808864,0.0,0.0,0.11397017863567382,0.0,0.0,0.03043826112025413,0.0,0.18390238120296634,0.0,0.0,0.06729232726416744,0.0,0.3069476188898521,0.0
mentalhealth,3m0lga,2019/02/25,"Every aspect of my life is in ruins, except for my relationship. Hi, 24F here. So this is kind of a vent post, but I would also like to see if anyone has any advice towards the things I am about to talk about.

So basically, the only stable and good thing in my life right now is my relationship. You may be thinking that's a good thing, and of course it is, but I feel like the other aspects of my life are going to start to put a strain on my relationship.

Right now I'm on a long leave of absence from my job. I've been off since about the end of September. I work in a call center environment, which can be stressful, but the people I work with are amazing. Around September I started to get extremely anxious while trying to do my job, which is a live chat with important advertisers for a major social media platform. The episodes were getting so bad that I couldn't focus on anything and my work quality suffered. By the end of the month I was having daily panic attacks just thinking of going to work. I called in ""sick"" a lot. Like, thrice a week sometimes. I got to a point where I figured it was better if I just go on leave until I could get a hold of myself.

Fast forward to February, I have been out of work this whole time (still getting income but it's gone from 100% to 60%) and still waiting on a call from a long term psychiatrist so I can finally return. I have had multiple one session assessments from multiple counselors, doctors, and psychs, and they all say the same thing: there is something wrong but we have to wait. The wait list in my province is HUGE, and the average wait is 6 months. I have tried group therapy which has a smaller wait, but it's really not for me. 

I'm in a loving relationship with a very supportive girlfriend, and have been since about October. She's my rock. Especially right now, because my best friend has stopped talking to me. Sometimes it's impossible for me to get out of bed, and on one of these days, my friend asked me to go to the hospital with her. She had hit her head pretty hard the other day and she had yet to go to the doctor. It happened to be a holiday so only the emergency room was open, and of course, packed. I was already really in my head today, and being in a crowded ER with a bunch of sick people for hours while we waited just put me over the top. I told her I couldn't come. She seemed to be okay with it, because she was asking me just because she didn't want to go alone (she also has high anxiety). A couple days later (after a couple checking in texts from me, without a response) she suddenly texts me that she is very angry with me and can't rely on me. I apologized and explained what happened but she's right. I am unreliable. I'm unreliable because of this stupid illness. It's in almost full control right now, and in the past I've been able to fight it. I feel like it gets stronger every time, until I lose every time.

I also have a huge problem cleaning. I love having a nice clean house. I'm too depressed to clean, so my place is a sty. I can't even look at it. When I do, I get panicky. I've tried to clean in baby steps (like one thing a day) but it just gets worse because I make a mess faster than I can clean. It makes me hate myself further.

​

TLDR: My job, finances, mental health, friendships, and basically everything else is falling apart, and I've been having to completely lean on my girlfriend so I don't kill myself or something. Sorry if this didn't make sense I just needed to say it.",3.908082386363634,4.940713734375001,5.036711363636368,84.02987954545456,71.45738636363636,7.734272727272727,27.14818181818182,8.043390162373402,1.613181681818182,2735,92,555,37,50,903,302,704,0.129,0.721,0.15,0.9679,4,1,2,0,1,1,94.0,2,1,1,10,34,34,5,3,44,1,62,13,2,4,1,83,114,44,1,10,21,0,3,5,4,2,9,2,7,0,33,31,0,9,7,3,2,13,9,16,1,3,19,7,81,18,95,84,9,100,0,4,2,2,45,47,0,8,46,386,114,13,0.05748647381460451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561751168881861,0.0,0.0,0.057564399621388374,0.05953864985853481,0.06343775334614345,0.1379157370207449,0.0,0.062286570360528926,0.06985235789285944,0.039092773489115065,0.0,0.043976995120774284,0.06494335253628299,0.0,0.04019587911826366,0.0,0.047306469784409284,0.0511751495352043,0.10748418582622962,0.06539916298092828,0.0,0.0,0.04799880442357938,0.17521610433611876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032850763483785,0.050842114500274815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610035141339242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04951950699102229,0.0602734740686791,0.0,0.06447596855716432,0.045898271624014116,0.12721537973130595,0.0,0.14829607949239346,0.0,0.04951301566076362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767968371942733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802257236889725,0.0,0.10183190582065148,0.0,0.0,0.03796927378669929,0.0,0.14530450068026848,0.0,0.05166513591533682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813377687187496,0.0821366967589881,0.0,0.06297362214725824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882781413559904,0.0,0.24027447921138426,0.0,0.19602532707089204,0.09643385361682726,0.04597718459886365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167019788451903,0.0,0.05149658904369447,0.05675599143048792,0.11799541396376255,0.0611054334762179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607376158115558,0.0,0.0,0.056612596939059276,0.06633167250033585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113936485770828,0.0,0.06360026594617096,0.05986331622098201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173975075622312,0.0,0.0,0.12181318959678306,0.14042493675931472,0.0,0.05076160957931915,0.10174744066418223,0.04827415966587202,0.06431265972802243,0.0,0.04887294430141922,0.10376757407893518,0.0,0.11511800298310013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793284464218115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177030989173164,0.0,0.0,0.042625491925064436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686296725523596,0.08744210755145544,0.0,0.0674479908687197,0.0,0.0,0.054877343986136855,0.0797077654419264,0.0,0.06006112976401209,0.0,0.054343299025227984,0.0,0.05505615118530948,0.05848441062984521,0.0,0.0550067917227056,0.0,0.11557956810857288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365461430185158,0.0,0.0,0.2468758366585392,0.0,0.24546567268457864,0.0,0.0914311026309639,0.0,0.0,0.045809276831384825,0.052333526719853835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510681037653987,0.0,0.0,0.0586002206116358,0.0,0.08851179215497086,0.1137111850559463,0.06435140094851832,0.081378444094468,0.0,0.09181754449329728,0.04806126618291172,0.06585056152810873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523496923927759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241090020650634,0.0,0.0,0.06574079280287122,0.0,0.19095729409178724,0.07367002243664432,0.0,0.0,0.10056247552581693,0.0,0.05449045545929234,0.05493078925856852,0.0,0.11708862662661003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486472273524724,0.033907011679032116,0.0,0.04611218176342925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418159505367205,0.0,0.0554149093476768,0.0,0.209254187988154,0.0,0.058583628023937524,0.04083674163038506,0.06285243473842447,0.06985235789285944,0.0
mentalhealth,pumpkinn_pi,2019/02/25,"I’m not sinking anymore Yesterday I had an absolute breakdown. I’ve been suffering from OCD and bipolar disorder for years now, and they’ve always taken their toll. Recently, I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and I just felt like that was the nail in the coffin for me. I’ve been in a downward spiral ever since; I haven’t been working or taking care of myself in any fashion. I’m just tired of fighting. 

It all sort of came to a head yesterday where I completely lost it. I was unconsolable. In the midst of it all, I decided that I couldn’t be helped and that I was just going to “fake it until I make it”, so to speak. I decided I’d act like everything was fine until I couldn’t anymore, and that would be the end of me. 

To my utter shock, I’m actually feeling relatively good today. I ate a healthy meal, did a load of laundry, and even managed to take a shower. I know those are small things, but idk. I guess I just don’t feel like I’m sinking anymore.  ",2.5018487394957987,4.312377612244898,4.3789195678271335,84.20305522208888,76.44897959183673,7.877070828331332,27.345738295318128,8.671277953709913,2.1310849939976,756,31,153,16,17,257,114,196,0.084,0.83,0.086,0.1163,1,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,0,0,1,2,9,11,1,0,10,0,17,6,1,1,3,30,36,11,1,3,7,0,3,3,0,1,3,1,1,0,11,8,2,0,6,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,15,4,21,6,21,16,2,20,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,3,13,100,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.15716857804312262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340124784596127,0.0,0.0,0.10952440747462136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4791763451894348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18420651147861933,0.16420853218969067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886539236330014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346965073955308,0.0,0.0,0.1845854853082139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142648860026825,0.0,0.0,0.10637675054924964,0.14568544291875202,0.0,0.0,0.1447478112495297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287070212418647,0.11505928387193674,0.1546401530286942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915325087872326,0.13508712397725128,0.12881214227340354,0.0,0.17742264506240302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529113498051146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079532349715436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851281588758571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360532132237816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758129409260758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750692042777296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590245383447636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322816627722847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24218991593287856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069992360310962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18511153964073174,0.15266337776885985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725154756475376,0.0,0.0,0.11441040200198326,0.0,0.0,0.1037155455254457
mentalhealth,Nraveles,2019/02/25,Talking to doctors anf insurance issues I haven't talked to any doctors about a lot of the issues I've been having not only emotionally but in school and all that. I dont wanna either burden my family with expenses or cause extra stress and all that shit. Im 18 but im still under my mothers insurance until I'm 19. Do a lot of therapists or specialists take insurance? ,4.937297297297299,5.878374351351353,6.9252432432432425,71.77245945945947,69.0,10.244324324324324,29.664864864864867,10.355215969177356,3.321587027027027,298,11,52,8,5,105,53,74,0.118,0.8390000000000001,0.043,-0.7573,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,3,0,5,3,1,1,2,15,7,7,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,10,6,6,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,4,2,38,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363136914241825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867603936036256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37216342356805465,0.0,0.0,0.21307020204112506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450240775219167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138643356788127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39275399961473617,0.37950741769013896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091225553330462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826836154634964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839929949224656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661680063442415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518704767982188,0.0,0.2082531975579568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669222956630506,0.2922505899816725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110857500330783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Meme-Hoe,2019/02/25,"Why do I want to do this? I know I don’t want to die, but I still want to overdose. I know how much this will hurt everyone around me, and I know it’s not the answer.

I’m taking sertraline 50mgs, to help combat how I feel. Yet night I have the urge to end it all.

I feel so torn and I really don’t know what to do.",-0.9243444227005853,0.4514388356164396,1.8935812133072432,100.0609589041096,85.30136986301369,5.815264187866927,14.53816046966732,6.868970318607317,-0.7595620352250485,237,3,66,3,7,83,42,73,0.189,0.71,0.102,-0.8509,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,2,1,18,18,6,1,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,11,0,7,17,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,43,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098403014100303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446395918507619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20877748286659714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252400526310031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23837369058405802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799779024120408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252342565111466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5181810187328421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732809307642648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212067520748068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15100792675464295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882458711522498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772317038307585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171003474497095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270015550549226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,birdful,2019/02/25,"is this a panic attack, anxiety attack, or something else? if i get very nervous or anxious about something (i.e. today i just kinda thought too hard about the possibility of my boyfriend cheating on me), my heart starts beating very hard and irregularly and i start shaking and sweating. i can typically calm myself down within a few minutes but the shaking lasts a while. what is this??? does anybody else experience this? ",6.313558558558563,8.736301527027027,6.44162162162162,70.84639639639641,67.51351351351353,7.636036036036036,36.65765765765766,8.344100000000001,3.3957819819819823,339,18,51,5,6,108,54,74,0.281,0.698,0.021,-0.9197,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,8,3,4,5,0,3,2,2,0,0,10,7,8,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,2,8,1,6,6,1,10,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,5,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360471691099727,0.2120693269426775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42711550711002855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642743858074385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136307012988999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362545271720132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807556335229388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363191628346755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224482220089467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301624806875405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22024810036060247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211625255628418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890309085646284,0.0,0.0,0.2657373109451717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490281206963375,0.0,0.0,0.17793590510431426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097760912454897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tm88883,2019/02/25,"I need help getting rid of my lisp Hey everyone, so I’ve had a lisp for while, but recently, I’ve realized how much it’s actually affecting me. It’s becoming a really big problem because I’m 15 and in high school so it really isn’t helping me socially.

I’ve driven myself crazy by looking how people pronounce their s’s and watching countless videos on YouTube. But it just isn’t working. 

People always say “Oh just go to speech therapy” and stuff like that. Although I reaaaaalllllyyy want to, I can’t, and for reasons I really don’t want to get in to.

I haven’t been TOO worried about it because i always thought that it would just go away as i got older. But I feel like it’s getting worse. And I read online that a lisp can be permanent if it sticks around for too long, and that scares the actual hell out of me.

I’m pretty sure I could rant all day about how it crumbles my self esteem, but that won’t help anything so I’m reaching out to the internet.

Please please please, if anyone has ANY advice or any website/video to point me towards, please do. The absolute last thing i want in my life is to be stuck with a lisp forever.",4.5342816091954035,5.045303750000002,5.70062068965517,81.7397816091954,69.6896551724138,9.117701149425287,30.12183908045977,9.21078282632365,2.4362421839080457,898,34,184,17,15,300,131,232,0.118,0.716,0.166,0.7916,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,14,6,1,1,7,0,16,1,0,5,2,37,34,22,0,9,10,0,1,2,0,2,1,2,0,1,16,10,0,0,4,2,0,3,6,3,0,0,6,5,20,3,26,23,2,21,1,0,2,0,8,12,1,3,8,113,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.22059201923250998,0.0,0.0,0.11044663544842437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18809156126390744,0.0,0.0,0.1537216312629746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902964610363719,0.0,0.09300987184468794,0.1006161339367321,0.0,0.0,0.10619062493738927,0.0,0.0,0.1377978740218641,0.12482713487137127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024119493797347,0.0,0.0,0.07289171762084701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080001465455116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714879128946074,0.0807450193822878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17715255403367533,0.0,0.1284693237680955,0.0,0.09039634677473253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272746472121225,0.11941702453237155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921303881330062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983283755916913,0.11043652533198946,0.0,0.0,0.10002349001974628,0.09491245963596537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308631478941197,0.08380653976792046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671448498622306,0.0,0.0,0.4962696484751797,0.10684507427818683,0.0,0.0,0.11498696821775398,0.0,0.10814957598891513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305549767876633,0.0,0.21721995748802034,0.11620843332787903,0.11159846471145232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898819461384446,0.1131576537993034,0.11438724458296642,0.0,0.0,0.11790963254571082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521466374468227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293864827315845,0.0,0.0,0.10652464152452884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925383655616587,0.0,0.07508872901413986,0.0,0.0,0.0897291547517021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999506358911212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822834817158846,0.11478228402105413,0.11518204083998401,0.08028965430957863,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kfshaw14,2019/02/25,"So, I hallucinate Pokémon as part of my schizophrenia I was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia (July ‘18) and hallucinate Pokemon (sounds from the game — like ALL of the sounds), among other things as well of course. I‘m wondering if anyone else has hallucinations of Pokémon or of anything similar. And I was born in 1992. So I played Yellow, Silver, and Crystal a lot when I was 8-10 years old or so.",5.1708675799086725,7.380962273972607,5.804315068493153,75.11871004566213,70.0958904109589,8.702283105022829,31.34474885844749,9.2995712137729,3.0832392694063926,318,14,54,7,6,103,52,73,0.0,0.8959999999999999,0.104,0.7425,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,1,10,6,12,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,6,3,11,3,3,7,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,5,6,40,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108750091390597,0.3090091277152948,0.24817848164916265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061020854749516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519352881268643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14733903311505198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25639649641427537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164623726831965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265868017113994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29777847208212993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003594498744488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27116083164065385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270557031776339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19421063566161756
mentalhealth,Quarky-K,2019/02/25,"Does anyone else get strong attachments to those who provide physical care? I find myself getting strongly attached to people who provide physical care, in particular medical professionals. 

For example when I was 13 and I was taken to hospital in anaphylactic shock; I became attached to the paramedic who was in the ambulance with me as well as the first responder who arrived first at my house. I remembered them long afterwards, and often hoped I’d bump into them in the local area. 

I also recently became attached to a nurse who stitched a self harm cut.

I don’t tell them I am attached, but I find myself getting emotionally connected and almost pine to see them. Does anyone else get this way? ",8.690238095238097,8.921456753968258,8.849047619047619,63.679285714285726,60.82539682539682,12.279365079365075,40.22222222222222,11.765960540728905,5.242060317460318,565,28,86,16,7,186,78,126,0.046,0.846,0.108,0.6767,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,4,4,4,9,1,0,6,0,5,1,0,0,0,12,14,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,4,1,17,6,16,10,0,15,0,0,1,0,12,8,0,3,6,61,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742824315918466,0.0,0.0,0.12572488277467028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198569488589268,0.3221709593109828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205826060388285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751600396834813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626661356583069,0.1768458608322679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873835615159763,0.2674542187715951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32855366673694786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561500976860484,0.0,0.18140515207698454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913044290445478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583777037479825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899317600981692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523097444106676,0.0,0.1780940951934061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125280104012031,0.0,0.1640096680844438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741295328187902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479005254513352,0.0,0.0,0.14135528277618148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mithrakana,2019/02/25,"Advice? Research on some folks' tendency to use the past as a filter for things happening now? INFP 2w1 if you're into that. :) I'm diagnosed with C-PTSD. It's related but not the big picture I'm asking for.

My friends mostly say they react to situations in the present based on present information that is related to their current situation. I find I react based on past experiences (often distant past) that looked similar but are unrelated.

Example: I am monogamous in a happy relationship. He is making friends with a woman. I have absolutely no problem with that, he's trustworthy beyond a doubt. And yet, this news gave me a strong emotional reaction based on old baggage with a different partner. I have no reason to believe that my current partner has bad intentions, and all of the evidence in our current relationship is reassuring. Yet, this strong emotional reaction of fear hits me like a brick wall because of the past. My partner feels bad for me. He has had similar experiences in the past of being cheated on, but his mind is wired differently and he understands we are secure and different from his past.

I do this with everything. I'm thankful to be self-aware about it, but I feel held back and punished by these old, outdated feelings that override my present experience if I'm reminded of any old pain. I have been in therapy my entire adult life processing emotions and experiences, healing my inner child, and learning mindfulness techniques, but it feels like a core tenant of my being that I am wired this way. It can pop up no matter how great a day I'm having, and it happens with so many different things it's exhausting. I'll work hard on one outdated emotional pathway, and ten new ones I've never seen before will pop up.

I'm confident other people could have lived the life I've lived and not developed C-PTSD. I feel particularly predisposed to be gobsmacked into the past, even when I've put it the past to bed and built a beautiful life. It's true I'm sensitive and a very empathetic person. 

What gives? Is this genetics? Brain chemistry? Please give me some context for understanding why some people are more sensitive to PTSD and generally having a POV heavily colored by their past. ",5.436030487804878,7.4314439780487795,6.502484756097562,71.26348323170734,68.97560975609754,10.490853658536588,34.03201219512195,10.618573550423957,4.23044512195122,1781,87,299,55,32,594,213,410,0.104,0.721,0.175,0.9868,7,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,2,0,3,3,11,21,2,2,21,0,28,8,1,7,3,65,55,24,0,4,9,0,6,2,5,1,7,1,2,7,25,22,0,2,11,0,0,1,6,9,0,3,5,10,28,12,45,43,6,47,0,0,3,0,29,19,0,8,28,191,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641229919870644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044623771877221136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134573427047847,0.0,0.0,0.05045764095043336,0.10957972575537746,0.040001272722629405,0.0,0.055837688846290284,0.07393113924802036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325349325452814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239213848766763,0.0,0.0,0.0423193971092726,0.0,0.0,0.06660280180142604,0.0,0.2742352526124769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952541528959003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043341315045687126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058974921278828016,0.25675535527845444,0.0,0.0738406138329284,0.1658969271017656,0.04687885882466387,0.0,0.0,0.05997538591819575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139552046474408,0.0,0.0,0.12589714573011968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723461546691722,0.0,0.0,0.1160548948611681,0.06985358758438646,0.05878252773701696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390477957701584,0.06411712226624845,0.0,0.11588712101068058,0.0,0.05510417645589225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380178266203481,0.06652826375615087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251475507729113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050610100508370885,0.0633760936595426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065710919877354,0.0,0.08893146441579257,0.0,0.06982418399105704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5637744459221633,0.0909851316360028,0.057296752345165514,0.0,0.07203092824737377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278936761075007,0.23011840139141604,0.06596610857478268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746817056815288,0.0,0.14090239747400105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052183566195718456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845585102913324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475189997991776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060413973629831384,0.07504205711778969,0.0,0.08718987136807761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662522860784335,0.0,0.05667451170984403,0.0,0.05414327724422264,0.0,0.05208601021342856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921173952707806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777205767575693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,honeeymchoneeybuns,2019/02/25,"I'm sorry This is my first time posting on any Reddit post but I'm at a place in my life that the anonymity feels sort of comforting. Everything in my life currently is spiraling out of control. I feel like I'm on a carousel that won't stop. As of today, I am 19 years old working 35 hours max at office depot. When I started working there I took a break for what I intended on being a couple of weeks but ended up being 5 months out of school. As part of having a job but no drivers license my mom takes me to work and I pay her 50 from each paycheck (approx 200-300). Due to the glorious amount of depression anxiety and sensory overload my body holds nothing feels...real. Back a few years I had taken in therapy and medication them stopped then a year later I was hospitalized for an attempt to end my life and was made a special case because I was dangerously underweight, then was sent home a week later weaker mentally then when I was put in. Years later and nothing changed. I now live with my mom and her girlfriend and it makes me feel more and more useless. I feel like I am nothing I feel disgusted in myself and my body feels heavy when I try and get out of bed every day. I feel...I am ashamed to say it again but I feel like ending my life. I can talk to anyone. Talking to my mom and her girlfriend is like trying to tip toe through a mind field I feel alone. Idk if anyone will see this and care. I'm sorry if this seems like I'm complaining about nothing ...",2.217329888027564,4.107406448504989,3.772395717977116,87.8724535498954,77.53820598006644,6.718395471883844,25.433862433862444,7.662118739084242,1.3382394733604044,1155,43,239,17,27,383,165,301,0.134,0.7440000000000001,0.122,0.1208,2,1,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,1,6,8,14,2,1,13,0,18,8,3,4,0,41,42,26,0,2,6,3,8,5,2,2,5,1,2,0,8,17,0,4,9,0,1,3,2,6,0,1,10,10,36,8,37,28,6,54,0,2,1,0,14,15,0,4,38,147,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631841307837711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667622928014957,0.0,0.06375731461496371,0.0,0.0,0.11655099690781535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408577103949444,0.0,0.05080523696121757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18515099835240464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497393991650902,0.0,0.08816604740586889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347647789745707,0.0,0.0922176579722638,0.0,0.053749464750808836,0.0,0.07178337010860672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22145199459688508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022023476440876,0.0,0.07490348797439607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792674036092576,0.17862118144889547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089167749033072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043543378540744485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360001808601644,0.0,0.08207625701349155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827052591040078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23547104820130574,0.20358637165095106,0.0,0.07359356644132682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886134448241214,0.0556322285768049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395949891782788,0.08399033613477877,0.0,0.08415286657555306,0.2928316214721232,0.06652374160639145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319880166300503,0.0,0.08745466134328962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025255641197774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707589811395143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963948164128142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378292862805044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486279991538688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627785231830964,0.0,0.08434776091619914,0.06641373443550429,0.07587251286325686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865917625758929,0.05899074105402272,0.0,0.0,0.13935728261569627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266370903642009,0.1339762032885003,0.0,0.0,0.0953102047618029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048598086135344935,0.0,0.07899960201213495,0.0,0.09259735414793442,0.11316911467256785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370576467078946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18202451160775804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21468113541643324
mentalhealth,ColtAzayaka,2019/02/25,"Doctor suddenly stopped my antidepressants please someone help me I don't know what to do or how to cope. It fucking hurts. 

I can't feel anything but this overwhelming darkness. 

She got angry at me for missing an appointment and stopped my repeat prescription. ",6.129347826086956,8.852655630434787,5.568913043478261,75.61902173913045,68.78260869565217,8.947826086956523,37.58695652173913,9.516144504307137,4.188669565217391,213,12,33,5,4,65,39,46,0.29600000000000004,0.639,0.066,-0.9051,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,8,8,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,7,0,4,7,0,5,0,3,0,1,2,1,1,1,4,22,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259053952933892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222116064299396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917256948434674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910279493753904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25177468260445496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21100411026000385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370003995042341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300609813027545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455563683962617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667294051971345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5263745548730228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Harryzhenger,2019/02/25,"Mental Health Survey Hello everyone in Reddit! Can you do a random stranger a favour by answering 20 questions about your own mental health for school? Thanks in advance and hope you are all doing well!

​

[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSewrUSYwDKtqYusbLX4B8\_HK0UHIxtPNiNvrc7lNWKHAUiXag/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSewrUSYwDKtqYusbLX4B8_HK0UHIxtPNiNvrc7lNWKHAUiXag/viewform?usp=sf_link)",31.94894736842105,42.19930126315789,17.18452631578948,-14.60531578947365,23.21052631578948,6.197894736842105,26.02105263157895,7.554174236665415,2.1612463157894743,400,7,25,3,5,96,33,38,0.0,0.7290000000000001,0.271,0.8984,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,3,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,1,6,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,5,6,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,0,18,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25161250471115804,0.2821752205599098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218981297430329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4936823806293664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306489030731597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4680504340209688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601418534282132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23502112220489385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137988725944899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879552045797795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821752205599098,0.0
mentalhealth,GlisteningKidneys,2019/02/25,"I can’t stand the pressure I’m under I’ve spent the entire week trying my best to study for my three midterms and nothing has come out of it. Dealing with my depression and OCD made me procrastinate constantly so the most I did during my reading week was finish assignments and write the study material I should have done after class.

I’m going to fail my chem midterm after taking the class forna third time and I’m likely to do shit on my two midterms tomorrow. I have an additional two midterms next week. I can’t stand living like this. Every day I want to die but it feels like I’m only not supposed to so others aren’t sad. I can’t even relieve myself with self harm except hitting myself.

I’m in my fifth year of university and i’ve made no friends and thanks to dorm limits my strategy for studying was stolen from me and I had to relearn everything. 

My exam is in an hour and I just wish someone would run me over tonight. I can’t deal with this anymore it’s never getting better and my parents don’t support me, but they’ll guilt me if I tell them that.

I have no future, I’m so fucked. I can’t remember any of the material. Nothing is sticking. I just want to go back to when I was happy. My friends either can’t help me, tell me I’m just selfish and a brat or ignore me.

I want it to stop but it never will. I hate myself so much",1.8189725274725248,3.753240578571433,3.5285714285714285,88.94565934065935,78.92857142857143,6.021978021978023,23.62637362637363,7.010146845296331,0.8181510989010996,1062,36,223,12,26,354,150,280,0.173,0.6779999999999999,0.149,-0.8512,2,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,2,4,10,22,3,2,9,0,25,2,1,2,2,44,50,20,1,7,11,1,1,3,2,4,0,0,1,1,9,16,0,3,2,1,1,4,13,11,0,4,9,1,41,11,28,36,4,32,0,3,0,1,12,6,2,3,23,149,50,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255542003434363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039509536356635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334826634705637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740066368598515,0.10736746829111696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457440940269297,0.0,0.13118909123709546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829225224548073,0.25031388601361537,0.10456070112752454,0.0,0.12599289955164433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423323115549917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018283345214014,0.0,0.1022838154463526,0.0,0.10910551019895506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06138293525242902,0.0867274037624859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18758498955667174,0.1122313337720766,0.06342591860472654,0.0,0.1379875935229908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292313944191387,0.0,0.11985628784599192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137112870669548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955346992303745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792812230151842,0.0,0.1071974594385556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22974116312634904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924216533730885,0.0,0.1872606429122455,0.0,0.12910911534872152,0.0,0.0,0.2329710517531101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232933958508537,0.0,0.0,0.134799120167748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214317597514377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752129687553558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664553662267594,0.0,0.12461423398209648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286090035597947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014949225390068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776204156953914,0.0,0.0,0.09127687014674846,0.0,0.21221599202712985,0.11176780355271654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078867921747573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082421889347364,0.0,0.2371781853193776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481266291208265,0.0,0.29213664274087875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396027523866464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623830077109018,0.0,0.0,0.07817691619950813
mentalhealth,berihizu,2019/02/25,"Schizophrenic brother, how to deal with him? I am somewhere from Asia. 

​

He has been a complete pain in my family for years. He doesn't work, he does not take his medications. Sometimes he takes more than he should of medications. He goes though a cycle. A few days, he is fine, then he starts turning into a dick, then he start to heart people in family physically + mentally. 

​

He keeps tools like rod or stick and sometime knife with him when he is going though his dick cycle. He starts destroying stuff at home secretly, like my computer,  or my internet device. He has extremely strange beliefs like stealing from family is good. He beats his poor wife after every few days

​

His doctor said that he is sorry, if patient doesn't want to take medications, he can't do anything else.

​

He fights with neighbors, usually finds weak and keeps bullying them.

​

Damn parents love him as he is their son. Everyone is probably waiting for him to hurt someone unlucky so that everyone gets rid of him implicitly. 

​

My question is what can I do to get rid of this asshole, other than leaving my home. ",5.157825854700853,7.617523062499997,5.255128205128205,77.96764957264958,70.77884615384616,8.468376068376068,31.74786324786325,9.150863307647796,3.131271581196581,919,42,153,20,18,288,126,208,0.172,0.758,0.07,-0.9723,1,0,0,0,1,0,51.0,0,0,2,2,5,13,3,0,4,0,18,11,3,1,1,21,34,13,0,3,4,4,0,3,1,1,7,1,3,0,6,6,0,3,4,0,1,1,4,7,0,0,2,1,18,6,23,31,3,16,1,1,0,3,40,4,3,4,14,85,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330382959224701,0.4856383302693293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548152219196251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984042292731546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591723863809571,0.06867307192680196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817923645443556,0.05829178235342716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564498838211565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612268601601306,0.12729943355109272,0.0,0.0,0.188384920806226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088129671413081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960305302645424,0.0,0.037856597114613234,0.05587019186446609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893441986416615,0.0,0.0,0.133632636852208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130851112911207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841393100820526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053148844707803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762838918132066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601190770218133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20131088759398494,0.06712827547624156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087885802318633,0.0,0.07396369272494821,0.0,0.0,0.04617971782008315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181798257159737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461962528186357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336236625585788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05643933000359051,0.0,0.13176007155028696,0.07456562157158338,0.14144294087599202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625372042415744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024966857412142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089004496051604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245369904809577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733626653857187,0.0,0.039288925558973085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04849364074070843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4856383302693293,0.042895334930738716
mentalhealth,musicman9725,2019/02/25,"Why can’t I release guilty/ashamed thoughts? Over the past two years or so I’ve fallen into a pretty deep depression, and one of the major contributing factors is that when I do something that upsets someone or that they perceive as wrong and I get scolded/reprimanded/etc. I ruminate on that thought over and over. A perfect example happened yesterday- I was leaving the dog park, had my dog on a leash already because we were leaving, this other dog comes up and won’t leave her alone. Trying to jump on her and nip at her. At first I tell the other dog no, but it doesn’t stop so I use my foot to create space between the dog and mine. Then all of a sudden the owners of the other dog come up and start chastising me for kicking their dog and telling me I shouldn’t bring my dog to the park if I don’t want it to play with other dogs. I try to explain what was happening but they just kept yelling at me until finally I gave up and turned around and left. Now I can even logically acknowledge that this wasn’t really my fault, or at least that they were being way over dramatic as I in no way KICKED their dog. But still, it threw my whole day off. I couldn’t focus on anything else I was doing all day because the image of them scolding me was burned into my head and every time I replay the situation my insides clench up just like when it was actually happening. I drank 3 or 4 drinks to calm down so I could finally get to sleep last night. 

Does anyone else experience this? What my therapist has told me is that usually if I’m replaying a thought it’s because it’s subconsciously trying to communicate something or I need to learn something from it, but I honestly don’t know what it is in this case. 

Tl;dr : I feel guilty all the time and replay things I did wrong over and over in my head, and I’m trying to figure out how to release those thoughts. ",4.570879999999999,5.322765394666668,5.332533333333334,83.54760000000003,69.72,8.453333333333333,29.13333333333333,8.608573733854374,2.028173333333333,1473,53,301,23,25,479,189,375,0.092,0.848,0.06,-0.8663,0,1,4,0,1,0,29.0,1,0,6,2,12,10,0,1,16,0,26,6,4,2,4,60,53,35,0,7,13,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,28,22,2,2,12,2,0,6,10,5,0,3,19,2,47,5,49,29,6,60,0,1,0,0,16,30,0,7,23,213,75,1,0.0,0.0,0.09422136586395692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999932831394434,0.10654814543885144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751179145589355,0.0989295027108947,0.07945452600260303,0.0859522443328047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657262418643352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634295367146448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708935866160625,0.0,0.0,0.12453682083878195,0.0,0.08316057419236908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449379158821313,0.0,0.0,0.0945847460160896,0.0,0.0,0.16131454079686738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768162140593596,0.06377205200755658,0.0,0.08134969191466028,0.0,0.0,0.094446925830332,0.0,0.0,0.048819872917448034,0.0,0.0,0.21153720923079475,0.0,0.0821275540091883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088944991703117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25614331670657503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19818155380644087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306275919290347,0.0787032190708467,0.0,0.3067056441568987,0.10490463358043717,0.0,0.0,0.04717070134383177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159249616317716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060803227330437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542651010766277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217033895303056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982286597649991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618540391401903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108529117279657,0.09662228415943153,0.0,0.08180866657650568,0.22299262204612455,0.0,0.0,0.06834039542394935,0.0,0.07710699519204198,0.08072225936644935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687823776951863,0.0,0.0,0.1121049582108915,0.06414522731435343,0.0,0.0,0.3066077747667764,0.1126011426198262,0.0,0.0,0.09226010402760684,0.0,0.26221138803524674,0.10502145413992464,0.09431781665755996,0.0,0.0,0.08339040715430944,0.10633899855512466,0.0,0.05694919856416979,0.1532778481084608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712366315138997,0.10779747963271537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111301237657304,0.0,0.062176679858054563
mentalhealth,hhihfdsdvj,2019/02/25,"So this is a throwaway account because I don’t want this linked back to me I keep having this image appear in my head of me doing something horribly violent to my grandma. I’m not going to say what it is that I’m doing, because it sickens me, but just the thought of it is unpleasant. I love my grandma and I couldn’t bare to have anything happen to her but for some reason at random points throughout the day this image appears in me head. I can imagine her shouting to get free and I hate it but it just keeps showing up. The fuck is wrong with me?",2.8343859649122787,4.248054017543866,4.255263157894738,87.11517543859651,74.6140350877193,6.119298245614036,28.456140350877188,6.42735559955562,1.3044456140350875,434,18,87,3,9,144,70,114,0.192,0.72,0.08800000000000001,-0.9239,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,1,4,0,11,4,2,1,0,21,25,6,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,11,3,0,2,4,1,2,3,3,5,0,0,1,2,16,3,14,23,1,10,0,0,0,2,4,5,1,4,2,67,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18439996669990616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17230482792756133,0.0,0.2731959831466088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451401808646636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071597193008627,0.11707332571880742,0.0,0.12735067017592747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19815451448521448,0.0,0.0,0.2212340717347573,0.4599444960661664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983478342336221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224228622309812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21182943001842125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230393084206072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819858845229172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17250887246827196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17789566655735142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216906382998514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24499792365807,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aphrodites-daughter,2019/02/25,"What do I even do now.... It’s always very easy to forget what makes you so fucked up until you get really drunk and spill all your fucked up truths. To all my colleagues. What’s wrong with me to make me so fucking disturbed that I have to be this person. I’m done with this. As always when I’m
Too drunk I’m
Left alone and suicidal. I can’t even pot this shit into words.  ",0.029319444444446674,2.1115887375,1.5941666666666698,99.4652777777778,86.625,4.555555555555556,13.888888888888893,5.82211442006289,-1.076902777777777,289,4,69,2,9,93,53,80,0.355,0.585,0.059,-0.9846,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,0,7,7,4,1,0,0,6,6,1,2,3,12,15,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,9,1,11,13,2,7,0,0,0,3,4,4,4,0,3,45,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166124253339899,0.0,0.0,0.3480528454836514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21402921349220605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762782328000079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5800569752472916,0.10927027613890893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272379974122619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792134732091202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826184261646816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398443430336354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146856057839984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287720364212167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256754829965912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286685767847455,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jessses,2019/02/25,"How to help sleep when anxious? I’ve always had insomnia but recently I’ve been having an even harder time at falling asleep. I can fall asleep on the couch pretty easily, but when it comes to laying in my bed I get anxious. This began to happen about 2-3 months ago where every time I lay down to sleep I start to feel like I have trouble breathing, I can’t get comfortable, and my brain all of a sudden feels wide awake. I will sleep for maybe 6 hours in a three day period and I still feel like I can’t sleep when I go to lay down on the fourth day. I also used to be a able to take naps during the day fairly easily but now I have a hard time even napping. I’ve also been experiencing a lot more nocturnal panic attacks than what I used to experience. I haven’t had any drastic changes in my life and I feel like my level of stress is about the same as it has been for a while. Any advice?",4.580432900432903,4.2233005978836005,5.720432900432904,84.65259740259742,69.47619047619048,8.777489177489178,25.11832611832612,8.296473431620573,1.2495460317460316,699,15,156,9,11,234,109,189,0.123,0.7390000000000001,0.138,0.6183,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,13,8,1,2,11,0,16,10,8,3,1,17,30,14,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,4,4,0,0,4,2,0,4,3,4,0,1,6,6,19,4,25,22,4,35,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,1,23,98,23,0,0.11860240633886887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589689882167525,0.10513387715969737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896926029986485,0.09868670311461716,0.0,0.0,0.1613074067204824,0.0,0.0,0.26797392066026604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349273592097663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239950964494895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546561978865553,0.10216547128617944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294662210688994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667154164177716,0.0,0.09992764262033796,0.0,0.0,0.11601591141689573,0.0,0.0,0.2398757609940451,0.25418874835910776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392972435651882,0.0,0.06740448071590582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487971623499977,0.0,0.106244460192901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949669293751542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679947960835114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837723870870007,0.1738294346946748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083152460711957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915205841429495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466730920672624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391543695226603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066128558137384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710556795872047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4747522383132426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839473936498867,0.0,0.0947160349071946,0.0,0.13585865574547187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917424931524227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074740507344432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048687980975277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlackpilledChadpreet,2019/02/25,"What is going on with this? (Very creepy experience)  *tl;dr I saw my* fiancé *but no one else could see her*

​

Guys wtf just happened?!? (Really creepy story)

So I (22M) snaked out on my fiancé ""Amy"" (24F) to go to some dumb ass speed dating event even though I think Amy is perfect but I feel like I have to go just to make sure there's no one better for me.

The event started out really good because all the girls were uglier than Amy which made me feel like a boss. Then stuff gets creepy. I mean really dark and disturbing level creepy.

I see what I was sure is Amy walking around and I freak the f#£# out and have a mini panic attack. I calm down and walk up to her and say ""excuse me, what's your name"" in a wired panicked voice. And she looks at me funny and says ""Sava, why""?

So her name and voice is different but she looks like someone cloned Amy and dressed her in the same clothes. I'm not convinced this isn't Amy just being a very good liar.

So I followed this fake Amy around the room for abit and took a pic without her noticing. I sent it to my mum who was sure that it's not Amy and can't understand how I could possibly mistake this lady for Amy.

Now I don't know wtf is actually going on. I watch her untill I can see her hands and call up the real Amy who then awnswed the phone. I left the phone open without awnsering it and watched that girls hands which didn't move. Then I hung up and texted Amy for a bit and still nothing.

So it's not her. When we got to fake Amy's table she said ""I'm Sava, 24, teaching assistant from (this town)"" now Amy is a nurse but she's also 24. Like wtf is going on right now. I'm sitting 3 feet away from what looks like Amy but isn't Amy who's wareing the same clothes as Amy.

So at this time I'm freaked out as hell. I get rejected by everyone (not that I give a s###) leave, go home.

Then my dad roasts me about not knowing what my own fiancé looks like. I show him the picture, he freaks out and says there's something wrong with my brain to think that is Amy and Amy is so much hotter than that and I need a doctor.

Next day I go see a mental health nurse who roasts me for taking pictures of random women and says that she can't explain what's going on but the most likely explanation is that I just miss identified her as Amy but that that girl definitely is not Amy. She just said if you see Amy again when others don't you need to see a proper doctor.

Wtf just happened? Was that Amy? Did I get schizophrenia or something? Is God trying to tell me something with this s###? Any ideas would be welcome.",1.1366090636572042,3.1389673084112166,2.3523999294657045,96.17616117086935,81.52336448598129,5.159231176159408,18.87938635161348,6.16825346331588,-0.28019837771116185,1990,47,454,15,53,635,238,535,0.166,0.73,0.104,-0.9914,2,1,3,0,0,0,77.0,1,3,0,2,28,32,4,2,22,0,32,8,5,4,5,87,83,47,0,7,23,2,4,7,0,1,3,8,2,5,35,31,0,0,10,1,0,14,17,15,0,2,13,25,58,17,52,65,8,62,1,2,13,1,49,27,3,5,27,273,93,4,0.0,0.0,0.07232443936502317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05926882957127015,0.0,0.08030233974071779,0.09005645587378873,0.05039996840344873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195410248056288,0.0,0.08431521873904764,0.06963241409312287,0.0,0.0,0.04517912306618317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554768914238983,0.08091314321953799,0.0,0.0,0.0827355821831611,0.07567854068597839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11834777802436157,0.0,0.0,0.047797310434197215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743321264285581,0.0,0.15171735878086035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619126225648499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04895150761519573,0.0,0.0,0.07081897230390201,0.0,0.07249757947991843,0.0,0.0,0.07494839214545483,0.10589391726246536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616430365110228,0.07109677084605008,0.33696493098737856,0.12432638417594437,0.05927562677811715,0.0,0.0,0.07338437666714219,0.13107728880834985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877957079044112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434224759794837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366553030731183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146208186642401,0.0,0.0,0.07847587986134799,0.0805249291488001,0.0,0.0,0.2534580292384454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489479159149897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012832929517304,0.049471579145199715,0.0,0.0,0.0807317241758865,0.0,0.0,0.07468934227193735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877130744408453,0.0544822170535211,0.10990898084030197,0.0,0.0,0.07882093424593788,0.0,0.0,0.07111425053854928,0.08437912440088341,0.0,0.0,0.1004429434822462,0.0,0.0,0.08695664966329618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835522448704742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435780183549925,0.14243771555176835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329283416475294,0.1409985114877135,0.2357532747056761,0.0,0.0,0.3543549201792223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279643572445028,0.17116941814777856,0.0,0.0,0.052458173787861495,0.0,0.059187426835204386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484264170147263,0.0,0.0,0.20955431670538466,0.0,0.05572440149233129,0.0,0.06477878307944164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497834181865007,0.07281649423204134,0.0,0.04321638960105146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234322894401506,0.05031844810590964,0.0,0.0,0.07715514528775498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230339783360855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687623380401275,0.0,0.0,0.14288623860266858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264836193943313,0.08103187474734798,0.09005645587378873,0.0
mentalhealth,Fun_Risk,2019/02/25,"A professor told me that the area I was in was dangerous, that maybe I should move to an area where others could see me, so it'd be safer and I felt like crying?  I'm not sure why. I feel like its partially because I'm shy, but I don't know why I felt so overwhelmed at him saying that. Can anyone relate? I want to make sense of why I suddenly got a knot in my throat and felt like tearing up.",2.385968992248064,2.9195567441860497,3.9953488372093036,91.94713178294576,74.58139534883722,7.593798449612403,22.472868217054266,7.793537801064563,0.6635100775193794,304,7,74,4,6,102,60,86,0.087,0.76,0.153,0.6636,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,1,4,0,8,1,1,1,1,14,20,5,0,3,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,7,6,12,4,7,9,0,9,0,1,1,0,3,7,0,0,4,43,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317023764107269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481961749661836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038634752190522,0.0,0.2068994072785884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523807827701042,0.13456103450130574,0.5425517594080014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064490701967725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351512430508113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27606259573197794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572859783233056,0.0,0.1892281741031642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001918314613806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497876618013769,0.0,0.0,0.15009475480308518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752260229893102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998152154316693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111096811739733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5098839727638749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coincidence6777,2019/02/25,"Problems with med for depression So I've got depression. I've been prescribed antidepressants but they didn't help at all. Then I was prescribed abilify (an antipsychotic, I don't have psychosis or schizophrenia though but I did have OCD in the past. Antipsychotics can be used for depression when antidepressants don't work, just in case someone doesn't know). I also take meds for migraines. My neuropsychiatrist says abilify's suppoused to make me motivated and happy. And in the beginning I felt peace, but absolutely no excitement. Now I feel stable, no more dark and bad moods but I don't feel much at all. Sometimes I laugh when I'm with friends and feel grateful for my life, but I can't feel the emotion deeply. I'm worried the medication's not working or is making me even more depressed. Also I'm worried I might have brain damage because I've basically developed memory loss and problems with studying ever since going on the medication. It's just so shitty I have to deal with this. I no longer am traumatized by my past, which the medication has helped with, and I hardly ever get any OCD thoughts, but I feel like I'm in this void where no emotions can survive. I've been through alot and it could just be a late reaction to all the traumatic events I've been exposed to. I was emotionally dissociated and numb before the abilify, but I knew the causes of it and have worked through my issues in the mean time. But now I'm just like ???? why do I feel so pessimistic and nothing emotionally. My mom says it's not the abilify, it's still depression and time will make it better. But shit, this is a powerful medication and it's even made people manic so why do I feel fucking nothing?",4.64228149559419,6.611232476780188,5.438900928792571,78.19523636580142,70.98142414860679,8.808240057156466,30.689330793045965,9.367010060515213,2.89743257918552,1362,59,250,31,26,443,157,323,0.233,0.6409999999999999,0.126,-0.9913,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,1,8,21,21,2,0,15,0,30,10,2,7,5,63,58,33,0,3,17,1,9,2,1,2,7,2,0,0,11,17,0,0,13,0,0,1,12,13,0,0,12,11,26,7,25,41,7,25,0,7,0,1,8,9,2,4,17,164,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389031316937458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692762622509572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989675465819327,0.05103059213253961,0.0,0.07123349161654859,0.0,0.0,0.07403723584797722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345125497571534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599618328639172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683791959957303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630429919686862,0.3605088865846376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3766628716127205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058312998791896,0.15144617774513833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29629421729513217,0.059804495244647225,0.08037748876248407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467636023460514,0.07739120480596967,0.04373652251797819,0.0,0.047575956518114734,0.0,0.06695283414606319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911391299299494,0.07499029389058473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222195220136637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737449311520633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04600640729461853,0.0,0.09443177025204512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059128879907375774,0.08179576529399049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921114723621263,0.16763698404325533,0.0,0.0,0.09118786308758696,0.1859722667382996,0.33732766157147714,0.0,0.08880613225678878,0.0,0.09804350845603603,0.0,0.0,0.06153859588779335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064952428261153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982682464515624,0.058035967690793576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602038330641226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314367775346353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593006408916895,0.06924815598059626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092964806194474,0.0,0.08279417476327203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668532108021948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294166445460575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224747550396952,0.06645867261791147,0.09762730223610323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723010468049373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510756995266862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828319119359858,0.17002897792139662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jaysitt,2019/02/25,"Some problems im facing and cant tell what i have Hi so can anyone help me with this? I have some things vut i cant put it all together so that i know what i have. Im going to a doctor soon,but i want some opinions . So i sometimes ( rarely) hear voices just saying my name or humming(right now i hear this ) . I always have like not a fear of dark ,but sometimes when i look in a dark room (like passing by the bathroom midnight) i see a tall black person or i see a white face somewhere for a milisec. I also feel like everytime i walk upstairs or downstairs someone is behind me with a knife right near my neck (this happens durring the night mostly,even tho my stairs are lightened) . Also i dont have friends (like literally 0 ) but i consider myself having good social skills,is just that i dont usually like to go out (probsbly affraid of new things,not that important tho) . Any ideas of what all this could be?",1.8869429429429443,4.013480183783784,3.152387387387389,90.76737987987991,79.5945945945946,5.624624624624626,23.79129129129129,6.691623216298621,0.7299849849849855,714,25,147,7,18,231,113,185,0.031,0.85,0.119,0.9086,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,11,9,0,1,9,0,15,4,3,0,2,25,26,14,0,3,8,0,1,5,1,0,1,4,1,1,12,4,0,0,3,0,0,5,5,2,0,0,0,10,23,7,13,24,5,17,0,0,5,0,10,7,0,7,10,95,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21625795805907125,0.11250720674280032,0.0,0.0,0.09194878937220384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454336678631643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795577119335792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839520051855664,0.0,0.0,0.3169348890151604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930624374862649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215107918530754,0.06836724447922674,0.09659547220567052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446444756115404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368817901410414,0.1134094015743408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956751563453145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047874778028108,0.0,0.09062974631245142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263787791212874,0.29210430197586035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430897324575014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33028874086619736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354401704123973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305885818699473,0.0,0.12688729249020095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180618937276852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937961302643394,0.0,0.13592539509513868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309406002320617,0.0,0.10752600094009293,0.0,0.0,0.2154928991075445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783159549128093,0.11456467979367847,0.0,0.2674562296503251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818123839838927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982883764141543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891690365904334,0.0,0.07975153453832767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,markwilliamssinclair,2019/02/25,These wellbeing cards are fantastic Think you’re going to love these wellbeing cards https://lswmindcards.com/products/lsw-mind-cards,18.75,25.320548000000002,12.32,15.640000000000045,69.0,12.666666666666668,31.66666666666667,9.725611199111238,6.399666666666668,120,4,10,4,3,33,12,15,0.0,0.606,0.394,0.8316,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546713359443381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5632443216835318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6301291967940337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998765720799637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GetupNoww,2019/02/25,"Let‘s talk about Mental Health Hi, so I think mental health is important but a lot of people are dealing with issues, especially nowadays. 
So hey, why don’t we start a self-supporting Group and trading our issues yaaay. 
I‘ll make the start.


Ok, so lately I feel soo inconsistent. One moment I‘m super happy joking around with my friends and everything and the next I‘m just silent and feel either sad or feel nothing at all. Maybe it‘s because of my changed view of the world. I don‘t really see a sense in life? (I‘m not suicidal though) it just feels like everything is so unnecessary. We‘re going to die the one or other way, so what is the sense in living? Happiness is only temporary and pain follows right after a „happy phase“. Everything that makes us happy will makes us sad earlier or later. Can be memory, people or whatever.
Besides, there is no one, that interests me. I mean on friendship base. My friends are great. Yes, I do love them. But it feels like I wouldn’t miss them if I‘d leave? No one of them. But I really appreciate them?? 
Also, I lost a lot of people that meant a lot to me. It fucking sucks and hurts and you don‘t know wth torn you apart and you can‘t do nothing about it. You just slowly watch while the person is losing interest in you. I really tried to hold on to that relationship because I liked them soo much but it didn’t help and fuck I‘m so sad and angry and I want to punch something but At the same time to frustrated to do so. 
Maybe they are also the cause of my lack of interest in other people. To protect myself? Idfk

I thought writing everything down would help me but wow no, I feel so overwhelmed rn. ",1.873136446131,4.525874852664579,3.1460163339382947,87.45916969147007,84.17241379310346,6.36729912555684,20.620442171258873,7.669130373188453,1.0176282131661445,1294,39,249,24,38,418,171,319,0.171,0.586,0.243,0.987,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,4,5,6,3,18,30,4,1,14,2,23,7,0,4,1,57,53,34,2,5,16,0,6,3,2,3,4,0,0,1,13,15,0,2,11,1,1,2,10,13,0,4,4,9,36,17,30,44,8,25,0,8,3,3,28,13,3,8,12,170,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163669486777527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326786293247853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003433082866153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845487105907626,0.08706654475416327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485164034819806,0.0,0.0,0.08541838704546552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958775211025993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496917527910153,0.1175957529098028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717547813322214,0.152177139202079,0.0,0.0,0.046775166350496826,0.0,0.0,0.09074026908665213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35045585286794484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497025665886387,0.0,0.0,0.1103330519565647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810795804419855,0.0,0.0,0.17180764189987402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045232035504638286,0.0,0.09284231123402628,0.08714787795300036,0.0,0.08416124795203561,0.05813363295665903,0.12062848994751685,0.0,0.07267579453443597,0.0,0.0,0.0920769393069262,0.08984435876769442,0.20991533293242653,0.07428242480484705,0.0,0.16481534768792858,0.0,0.16537053009348635,0.08965300494681949,0.0,0.0,0.165885816029202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060502789019734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875310626646406,0.0,0.0,0.15794549962618604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22308483562838624,0.06259577557462535,0.08757708371754318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282364657883709,0.07186453446442825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817783340233155,0.0,0.0,0.08836351786913542,0.0,0.07028702573115225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558550090037306,0.0,0.08586085012181333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633615134925716,0.0,0.0,0.1165101566233859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002703747465314,0.09339741706743528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615270528070992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273697444115466,0.08086310040118215,0.06534005188003737,0.04799202829169851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05587890167100918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19800276036465744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048544934537812806,0.06532895361238272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426640990589219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584662832558179,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hox_blastien,2019/02/25,"A wise mentor once told me do not aim to stop addictions, aim to replace them And  then you can call them passions, as the difference is an addiction has control over you but a passion you have control over.

Just thought it was a cool tidbit I wanted to share!",6.0023529411764684,6.093462960784315,6.079215686274508,81.75647058823529,66.45098039215686,9.15294117647059,34.64705882352941,8.841846274778883,2.8297529411764706,205,9,40,3,3,65,41,51,0.0,0.7240000000000001,0.276,0.9279,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,2,2,1,5,0,0,5,1,6,4,0,2,0,9,9,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,7,5,6,6,0,4,0,0,0,2,8,2,0,0,2,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5512392616274135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581654610363633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5671357728043867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641512489573343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692533653903877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21137536937065715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20071703936404986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415878063878385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912439240851466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sjk20040111,2019/02/25,"I could use some advice... I’m a 21 year old guy. I’ve had many experiences with dating females when I was in my teens. I was a considerate guy with a temper. My mom mentally abused me at this time. Now I’m out of that situation and doing a lot better. Unfortunately I also seem to gravitate around the same type of girls. The rude and manipulative ones. I can’t seem to break the cycle of finding said females. I always get angry at them and myself for continuing to put myself through these stupid relationships. I try to break the cycle but I always fall back on it. It’s like there’s something deep inside me not allowing me to find a female who genuinely cares about me. It makes me furious, and I get the same answers from my family... which is that it will come with time. Anyone have any advice or words of wisdom? ",2.0307434139299865,4.416373828220864,4.148184770840853,82.39987369180804,80.65644171779141,7.0254781667268125,20.63118007939372,8.124751697461798,1.155883002526163,646,18,127,13,17,221,107,163,0.105,0.799,0.096,0.1531,0,0,1,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,1,1,7,8,4,0,10,0,9,0,0,4,0,29,20,8,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,10,10,0,0,6,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,4,1,20,4,22,14,4,21,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,5,10,88,30,1,0.0,0.1828839733606467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016654286859578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343665142021995,0.2568693977436014,0.0,0.0,0.10496585433538327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792774254262427,0.0,0.0,0.1374075772137115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868851886126296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365133631724713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737395223474826,0.0,0.0,0.1329621025488745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232389227864216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098760194532732,0.14551099406028292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28215309272012906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612869447113712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056689928880615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754094536732615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122605265938622,0.0,0.0,0.10303233781275717,0.15649049259725992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555522923856695,0.0,0.0,0.18077726596984756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619683129965238,0.0,0.10459410698611822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516816827551216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571818009306394,0.0,0.0,0.14682577873712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28103574406469745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350010087926002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882907060673613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800098452226307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479607550519894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333120955582233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939876503291148
mentalhealth,Triqondom,2019/02/25,"Rationalising/Lack of Empathy I find that due to past experiences, in essence - things that have scarred me to this day. Specifically relationship related, i find myself having a lack of empathy towards people. The only times i find myself empathising with someone, is where i have related to that sadness, or whether the problem is categorised in my head as severe - such as a death of someone you were close to, being bullied, or any other issue that i had to endure over the course of my life and its' experiences.  
I wouldn't say i can't feel for someone, i like to believe my heart and emotions are in the right place, it's just hard for me to relate to people with problems i consider manageable. From me rationalising everything, i realised quite a few people come to me for advice, because it's always a straight forwards/logical answer, rather than some distorted ideal someone would of liked to hear instead?  
I struggle to maintain certain people in my life and i constantly get dragged into things i was never really apart of. There's also the issue that ties into what i said above, where these things usually happen when someone asks for my opinion, my opinion being contrary to what they believe in seems to spark some sort of ""hate"" in them towards me. I'm simply stating my opinion?  


Am i the only one that constantly seems to find themselves in situations where people develop a joint dislike towards you, people that forget everything positive you've ever done for them, and go by the opinions of someone else.. I just find it hard to process how, and why people are so easily influenced by others' opinions in the world.  I guess i can say i struggle identifying and relating to people in my age group, and that  i have no idea whether there is an underlying mental health issue.  
Context - (M/20), diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder (about three years ago), don't take medication, overall a laid back person, struggle with self fulfilment and purpose, and general self-diagnosed BDD (in a nutshell- i'm overly obsessed with the way i look, and hate aspects of my self relentlessly).",11.390595238095234,9.17282643915344,10.730628306878307,60.20800595238097,57.0952380952381,13.682804232804234,45.84722222222222,12.161744961471696,5.747084126984128,1686,84,261,40,16,548,201,378,0.135,0.809,0.056,-0.976,0,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,2,3,2,17,13,2,4,17,0,21,7,2,2,3,58,38,20,1,7,7,0,3,2,0,2,5,4,0,3,21,19,0,0,10,0,0,2,5,9,0,2,5,8,42,4,60,29,4,45,0,1,1,0,15,27,0,13,16,199,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036767906113367,0.06383282901994823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05758664961613075,0.059918378515508776,0.0,0.0,0.04896950626675357,0.0,0.05508771944153242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731995509170005,0.0,0.0,0.05537151300267263,0.0,0.04389684002191754,0.0,0.0,0.16226200674722593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06203053893320237,0.0,0.15563520899759492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464407174644424,0.0,0.0,0.14617797568399465,0.0,0.0,0.08253009797516439,0.0,0.0,0.0736915878942585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06015540594015741,0.08100194964637969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513748281758745,0.0,0.0,0.12943651581452595,0.14087987691767692,0.0,0.0,0.03641059583083799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32908076939942266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037622434932759935,0.0,0.04092514048712554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932751730485793,0.0,0.06367851329139262,0.0,0.12901425582371562,0.1421906214356962,0.0739033924665836,0.0765436330164581,0.08116089622385328,0.08533260959590491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129091823825067,0.0,0.22548028462883546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172607737836477,0.07036123771119418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047055640445671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254285016187675,0.07256949419426753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553881999990249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04879607573294095,0.10953422977040528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874202570918056,0.39938326917676015,0.0628766586731201,0.07523548747918903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780835645897868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659186947536359,0.0,0.0,0.04613167312923089,0.0,0.0,0.07731216508421002,0.0,0.06149644409418676,0.06849833155280359,0.11453103869721187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311110333669605,0.2253674948314909,0.08135119678564118,0.0,0.0,0.08094264874120387,0.0,0.0,0.3660848072112483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258425538794384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414282021460723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352142723739644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0419898132565167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793092252409965,0.0,0.0,0.057158462771245123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497813895729324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511540854408743,0.0,0.0,0.04637230343149716
mentalhealth,Louis1770,2019/02/25,"Restarting again ECT seemed to help me for a solid six months but my anorexia/bulimia has gone downhill the last five and I’ve just been struggling. I feel I’m drowning in it and my only support is my husband. I can see the toll my relapse is taking on him and I know it’s unfair. Today just like every other day I tell myself “no more ed behaviours” 
But it feels like a battle that can never be won. Sorry. I just needed a vent I guess ",0.821318681318683,3.0457481098901127,2.871087912087912,90.68641208791209,84.38461538461539,4.519120879120879,20.089010989010987,5.6839178017228535,0.017618901098900963,342,10,69,2,10,115,68,91,0.181,0.6729999999999999,0.146,-0.7589,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,1,5,0,7,0,0,0,1,15,19,5,1,1,5,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,3,3,13,4,4,15,1,9,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,2,8,48,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615919425208976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21110952811271524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25338363530465546,0.1790017433632235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760226007805933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16794661509551725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770247667715801,0.20424170083431945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24482414787480106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999964219136393,0.0,0.0,0.1857887562410792,0.1932490775142351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905639052054063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996656972726164,0.2281024898453703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804839593549899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619420986422171,0.0,0.0,0.2843351067876765,0.0,0.0,0.1883916521904912,0.0,0.2190024772703016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375037445805745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lavendersailboat,2019/02/25,"What’s wrong with me? Hello. This is really hard and I think I’m posting on here because I’m unable to tell anybody around me how I am really feeling or what I am going through. It started quite a few months ago in June 2018. I have always slightly felt like this but it got really amplified. I didn’t really connect much with anyone and if I did, it was only when I was at school and I never saw or heard from anyone outside of that. I felt very isolated and seeing all my “friends” together all the time was really hard. Maybe it was me isolating myself. Anyways, I was an avid long distance runner. Loved it. Still do. But as the summer went on and I began living a few cities over to work. I never saw anyone ever besides my coworkers and my family. I started to run less and less. Then I just stopped running. I didn’t do anything productive except work and then go home and watch a screen all night. I decided to switch schools and spent a month or so at a new school. I still couldn’t connect with anyone and the situation was even worse so I went back. Things were okay for a month or so in October-November. I started running again... and then they got worse. I got injured and I have been off running since. I barely ever leave the house except for school, sometimes I just don’t go because it’s so hard. I don’t really talk to people at school, I stay focused In class and always have so I don’t really socialize then. I don’t see anyone outside of school so I can’t socialize then either. After school I come straight home and I either do homework or I order food (I used to love cooking but I never do it anymore, I don’t go grocery shopping either) and I watch tv. I either have a very productive day where I get lots of school done or I do absolutely nothing. I used to have a very balanced lifestyle doing exercise, eating healthy, I had lots of friends, I would go out with friends a lot. That all stopped and I don’t know why. I have gained a lot of weight and I don’t wear probably 7/8 or my clothes because I don’t like how I look in them. I won’t wear anything tight. I’m afraid to exercise because I don’t want anyone to see my body which is stupid because exercise is supposed to help you. I think about ending my life probably everyday but I don’t think I could ever actually do it. It definitely scares me though. I have also thought about just leaving my house and trying to start a new life. Very crazy and irrational things. The only time I ever get out of bed is for school. On the weekends I don’t leave my bed. No one around me seems like they have noticed that there is anything wrong. My sister also says a lot of things to me like “ugly”, “kill yourself”, “stupid”, “i hate you”. I also deleted all social media a few weeks ago because it felt pointless. Most people I know post every few days, get lots of likes and comments, get DMs and Snapchats all the time. I don’t have a picture of myself on my camera roll since November at a cross country meet. A few days ago I logged back into Instagram because I like to scroll through my feed as the videos give me a laugh sometimes. I never laugh. There are a lot of other symptoms going on but I’m still too nervous to talk about them. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, how to get help, or how to get better. I feel helpless.",1.8836398028201309,3.9937138628912088,3.3662533532041765,89.3147520348504,79.52160953800299,6.096443883984867,23.735893614582142,7.199576271509646,0.9594387297947952,2586,90,530,33,65,849,262,671,0.117,0.755,0.128,0.6921,0,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,0,2,4,5,40,26,4,3,27,1,55,17,3,6,14,105,110,58,1,5,23,1,10,6,3,2,7,2,5,0,23,33,5,3,14,9,2,15,23,11,0,1,27,21,90,15,65,79,26,91,0,1,9,2,26,22,0,18,56,368,113,13,0.0,0.0,0.045566793502303984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417474560736864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202398007816686,0.07770661297229113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0463080891534713,0.19589797910697276,0.0,0.11527601874541565,0.08313545728529324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180989935292031,0.0,0.1992504128082156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041297216292684256,0.0,0.051866718388178176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04022290990482475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03728151099433597,0.0,0.0,0.09034166847232576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04778436801598833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777981335682702,0.0,0.0,0.04135719257062928,0.0,0.0,0.030841071962830962,0.1689502717763107,0.039341868789119036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044019126443167036,0.0,0.04721997070706981,0.0,0.1345012344316657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646279962302622,0.0,0.10822744557008034,0.0,0.14637472155417974,0.04479332165261577,0.1592243047020998,0.0,0.11203682747484944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548646709381628,0.046100845274598574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259626226947693,0.0,0.09367615911119292,0.0,0.0,0.10775765143627376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051660202665982084,0.0,0.0769857166249311,0.0,0.0,0.14832721458811599,0.0,0.0,0.06596297429831083,0.13687453505588365,0.0,0.04123182504831905,0.0413228885701939,0.0392113591785864,0.0,0.0,0.2778841124252568,0.08428665866919756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046910589754416684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181257036895127,0.0,0.03432560218677755,0.0,0.1440537510391112,0.090195078908736,0.0,0.04381933395243997,0.0,0.04480433443813596,0.053161644545560036,0.0,0.0,0.03164119144650099,0.07102607088894967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474374368603387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944025267596456,0.0,0.10068846833969622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04966501852687677,0.0,0.0,0.2093944554993824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03713309387642719,0.046749029831793264,0.4253131164227783,0.1116276712000397,0.042508636659812665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725183261223419,0.052486225716679255,0.0,0.14279653841214593,0.0,0.0,0.0923634953091394,0.0,0.13220155142497833,0.04976979344024316,0.11187012081438008,0.07807686695820837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485331420619096,0.0,0.07506204199294514,0.04081277999285759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306463455682942,0.08975925413674203,0.045876804374342106,0.03706997088954082,0.08168327268715353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03170228976993949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065757544546581,0.0,0.1541103871013017,0.02754144293388884,0.0,0.03745526248719682,0.056860943657680865,0.0,0.08657196346052642,0.04213424345509648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798785256226979,0.0,0.09517073715341363,0.03317021269422931,0.15315829902592906,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,derpblah,2019/02/25,"Every time something bad happens, I go through a paralyzing spiral of sadness that can take months to escape. I'm just writing this to vent and see if it helps.  Sorry if its jumbled, I'm just trying to sort through my feelings.

My uncle passed away last week.  To say I have a hard time accepting it would be an understatement.  I had a few days afterwards that I would consider normal grieving but it deepened afterwards and I feel scared and isolated.


I'm 35 now and I feel like other people handle things like this better than me.  It took me months to function normally after my cat passed away in 2008 and I still have nightmares about it once a month or so.  Its not like I'm unacquainted with death, I've been to 11 funerals in my life...but for every subsequent one I seem to get worse mentally.

This all may be exasperated by the fact that I had a pretty bad falling out with some of my immediate family on new years and I get the strong impression they just don't care.  New years marked the end of me paying their rent for them.  The pain I feel when I think about what I've gone through for them is almost absolute now.  I feel like I lost the majority of my youth trying to take care of my siblings and mother and some of them seem to hate me anyway.  We had a falling out with my extended family years ago that reduced how often I see them.  It made it easier to fall out of touch with my uncle, even though he stayed out of it.  Family gatherings stopped.  People chose sides.  Its a mess.  Now I'm scared of it happening again with my immediate family.


I cannot stop the terrible thoughts from entering my head.  A paralyzing horrifying fear of losing other family members and friends.  The thought of it makes me want to scream but I can't keep revisiting it..like a loop in my head.  Thoughts of my own mortality are terrifying as well.  I've had digestive trouble and have lost a considerable amount of weight due to that..something that I fear is going to speed up because I don't even want to eat right now.  I feel nauseated and my appetite is non-existent.  Losing weight is okay but not in an uncontrolled way.

I've lost joy in the simplest of activities again.  Maybe it will pass easier this time?  It seems endless right now.  My wife has been doing her best to help me deal with it.  I know I'm making her worry and I feel terrible about it.  She is the best thing in my life and I'm worried about her too.  Her health hasn't been the greatest either.  We're trying to get healthier.

I just feel totally useless.  I burst into tears randomly.  I can't fall asleep.  My place is a mess and I'm too sad/lazy to clean it now.


I know a week isn't long to decide that I'm depressed but I'm scared of how similar it feels to other times I had long-term depression.  I'm worried that it broke a dam of issues that I haven't been dealing with and I would do anything to blunt that and feel normal again.",2.377197750702905,4.518437731958767,3.8647441424554856,86.20167104029993,78.03780068728523,7.462967822555453,23.640237425804443,8.41005564698801,1.5042456357388312,2288,76,471,47,55,756,260,582,0.22,0.65,0.13,-0.9963,1,0,2,0,0,0,54.0,1,0,6,9,30,43,1,6,25,1,38,10,3,5,3,92,93,29,4,10,14,2,14,4,1,5,4,2,2,0,39,29,4,3,22,0,2,12,10,27,1,1,18,18,64,16,73,68,12,71,0,11,2,0,23,19,0,13,42,301,103,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669769337386805,0.0,0.0640478447545508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052634570195567984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018719715497532,0.0,0.1068097641717856,0.03899011862480098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342465453191027,0.056568432536848526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042529453766755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04124964535158762,0.13188225818647814,0.1101792761230138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544821639655371,0.0,0.0,0.05665058732444241,0.0,0.0,0.08449146239440612,0.0,0.10778004186519816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014843623942295,0.14394813448249455,0.3234067531820582,0.0913877055484246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941621980826735,0.0,0.10025117071637138,0.0,0.07270118220504962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312125364115935,0.0,0.057296620170671636,0.06314838601530144,0.13128516939299478,0.06798770321040902,0.0,0.0,0.08574361075947533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675881483984282,0.0,0.056851602032400826,0.0,0.0,0.07030274205947433,0.05213686768033745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903552925959536,0.1249927331250958,0.0,0.0,0.11320719623055175,0.0,0.14311231501082694,0.20946342706475335,0.0,0.0,0.060521579273957876,0.08538911818194904,0.0,0.06425756431085622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445778752556086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315952045920644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354813942528145,0.0,0.0,0.18800501738565728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811652898681714,0.043341725288248464,0.0,0.06805916490629822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868520509783652,0.0,0.06682578017332576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507147607233887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092449319376335,0.0,0.05086446749693503,0.1921087843883116,0.0,0.10193749852728898,0.17468346496395673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848082426247168,0.0,0.07159926212723257,0.0,0.0681740672941199,0.05107945079015253,0.10694875775431667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618163775774184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498588160169478,0.0409837172898553,0.06284149747197128,0.15233400715530118,0.1491850255359962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106318242992693,0.1302762511209842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545187770194317,0.050769377539462486,0.10261154040701218,0.15577487995726572,0.05750874827034684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19486693398316435,0.06518186826431119,0.1363084808715419,0.0,0.0,0.1235666356026936
mentalhealth,thatIsNotTaken,2019/02/25,"Made-up mental illness? Hi! I guess you get this a lot, but I feel like I am trying to make-up a mental illness so I can be more interesting, have something to blame my problems on and get more attention. I've been reading and watching a lot about mental heath and mental illness lately, and I am familiar with the symptoms of depression and anxiety. I often feel like I strongly identify with several of those, but they are 1) not enough to have a diagnosis (for depression you need 5/9, I only have 2-3) and 2) are often circumstantial (like unusual sleep patterns caused not by my mind, but by the amount of work I have). Still in the last weeks I have started getting things that are close to panic attacks or mental breakdowns, when I breathe heavily, over-dramaticise my problems, and almost (and once fully) cry. This is very atypical for me, because I am a guy, and even apart from that, I am rarely so emotional. And since there is no big reason for me to have those emotional moments, I feel like I am trying to succumb to what I watched in order to get diagnosed with something, and thus get more attention and an easy excuse out of anything. What do you guys think I should do? ",8.186794258373206,6.806919912280705,8.2269696969697,72.9968181818182,62.596491228070185,11.448803827751195,38.27113237639553,10.436869588844218,3.91248596491228,932,40,173,18,11,304,126,228,0.205,0.7090000000000001,0.086,-0.9848,0,0,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,3,1,2,9,12,1,1,9,0,22,7,2,3,0,43,34,19,0,4,6,0,3,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,9,17,0,0,7,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,5,26,6,26,31,7,15,0,2,2,0,8,7,0,7,11,125,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357605660673502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912813763336818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511888640343293,0.0,0.0,0.11767320516670304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305353051710233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625710462303767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361941778977863,0.0,0.0,0.1781782819443821,0.10498520447163123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23270280509588626,0.0,0.10687687711716212,0.0,0.06831839951278786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15690081205521828,0.22168376311454335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27020479697126604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394624375536827,0.20483549567271814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431401835379931,0.11668013751254508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021341147576332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587491153545412,0.0,0.09787349667785752,0.06904422914078094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5211950125002465,0.0,0.10444071631382684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766963677821455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015579820414773,0.0,0.07866762044884261,0.0,0.12135967657401522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19794826700872745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346383532569173,0.0,0.0,0.10634927496808047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685306201004653,0.0,0.0855631991303388,0.0,0.10351054424687434,0.0,0.0,0.15925993243922434,0.0,0.0,0.07321242284758278,0.0,0.08260399872559115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750944691521913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871817870908897,0.06627751235402597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045229689701652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534540407468605,0.0,0.0,0.08296999499694961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530252643234174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dizzy-Lou,2019/02/25,The most calming thing ever? Laying on the floor with your dog & listening to her gently snoring after a difficult day... ❤️,4.195,6.232968500000003,5.806666666666668,74.80500000000002,72.33333333333334,8.133333333333335,28.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.725566666666667,100,4,16,2,2,34,23,24,0.091,0.691,0.218,0.5413,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6418681212629533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3820507590299272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5358621940070609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935660573079976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dysfunctional-human,2019/02/25,"I'm running out of moves I've been dealing with depression, anxiety and many panic/anxiety attacks. I have wanted to end my life many times so far but I'm getting to the point where I want to take action and begin the thoughts that begin to attack my head. I never really understand what's happening until after the fact from an attack. I'm prone to crying at almost anything and it's a challenge to get through the day. My boyfriend is my only sense of support I can get but he lives a few states away. I just want to end it all but I know my boyfriend wants me to stay so I do. It doesn't help that my brother lowkey abused and still does abuse me. My mom is on the verge of dying any day due to her health and problems there. My dad is suffering from a hole in his brain and I can't live with the loss of either of them. I love them but my mom used to get drunk all the time and put mental and emotional problems on me and make me take it all in. I fight each and every night with myself to just be able to wake up with a fake smile and start my meaningless day. I've gotten through my spouts of depression before but this one won't go away. I only have a few friends in school and even the ones I thought I have stopped talking to me and never pay attention to me. My parents don't want to help me. They don't want to know what's really happening, I know they don't and they don't support me. I get bullied every day in ways people really don't understand. I'm just close to giving up and I've been taking active steps to prevent it but my head is just spinning.
Sorry I just needed to vent that out",1.9283336713995918,3.517492155882355,3.3853549695740357,91.67323529411765,77.44117647058823,6.454361054766735,22.31237322515213,7.237678284180719,0.6193052738336711,1263,36,280,15,29,415,159,340,0.204,0.6940000000000001,0.102,-0.9926,1,0,0,0,3,1,20.0,0,0,5,2,11,16,4,0,14,0,20,8,4,2,6,63,59,24,1,9,12,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,11,23,1,2,8,1,1,6,10,11,0,2,5,0,45,5,48,52,7,46,0,4,0,1,21,18,0,1,19,181,56,3,0.08262035902056154,0.19578323051655872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273235507295837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618467730681417,0.0,0.12640869701772472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798951576310265,0.0,0.0,0.2819777575445476,0.15524909399145026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030384024951859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223164486020248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075458483090708,0.2131331862259844,0.08517796230240851,0.14232158831922329,0.0,0.08574688859088997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230163294766773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293678350182732,0.14635423014087887,0.0,0.0,0.05456996792191703,0.0,0.13922243172337695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383228443062397,0.0,0.21582863779339712,0.07925697682120969,0.046955054018305915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612182124791345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958464865850129,0.08782157813669154,0.0,0.0,0.11075737017811847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621796582594065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835720295052035,0.0,0.0,0.1459105813806046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456809973023844,0.0,0.05514973120382684,0.16752815253745984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326188937689585,0.0,0.0,0.19352793186384185,0.0,0.08781236635614433,0.0,0.06126194933497851,0.12744382852045558,0.0,0.0,0.07753361008418475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197138700806043,0.1256730121022036,0.0,0.09693718975981892,0.09174013123204627,0.0,0.0,0.05727855407149375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810294453450045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811305091893138,0.0,0.08305628071194847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878615281132366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361621421926138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248672769509764,0.058479115359407585,0.08806230972735632,0.06598072543888901,0.06907431963597223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875132086419652,0.0,0.0,0.1863606832587469,0.06640711497715096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118267255733568,0.0963531915204331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202141500772247,0.0,0.07135746302889938,0.0,0.0,0.2923897702201006,0.06558019532935877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emlakar77,2019/02/25,"Impulsivity as a target behavior Hi, I am currently in a mental health treatment program and have learned that I am very impulsive when I feel depressed. Most concerning is if things aren't going well in my marriage, I think about having an affair. I've had 3 and I do want to stop this behavior. Just curious if anybody is going through anything similar.",4.48,6.988797606060608,5.863636363636368,72.61545454545455,72.93939393939394,9.248484848484848,35.24242424242424,9.725611199111238,4.174806060606061,286,16,46,8,6,96,53,66,0.118,0.8240000000000001,0.058,-0.5739,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,11,14,6,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,1,6,1,6,13,1,7,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,3,3,35,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822552722543749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29542068514420805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342833964281454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898633901684083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36458714507028495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34565781195404904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28675878443625713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278703242007691,0.21977704460515374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830064076330375,0.2023070598252841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083932734653899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mies777,2019/02/25,"Have had insomnia almost for a year, starts to have an effect on my mental health I have always been bad at sleeping, but when i finished my 9th grade, I started to wake up more at night. But now for 6 months it has been a lot worse. I sleep about 2-4h every night and then try to sleep in day.

 I wake up usually at 3. am (pretty much same time each night) and then have really hard time going back to sleep. I just roll on my bed and try to go to sleep, without any success. It has effected my grades, social life and now my mental health. 

I can't really talk about this with my parents, they don't belive that mental health problems are an issues, and strongly are against medication for mental health problems. I dont know what should I do.",4.149006622516559,4.746752807947022,4.834099337748344,87.2992284768212,70.58940397350995,7.629403973509934,24.37152317880795,7.554174236665415,0.9574683443708608,578,14,123,6,10,186,91,151,0.13,0.852,0.018000000000000002,-0.9508,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,4,7,5,0,0,4,0,17,14,7,2,0,20,22,10,0,3,4,1,1,0,0,1,7,0,1,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,3,1,16,2,22,18,5,28,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,2,18,83,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105174531245864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396932254619496,0.0,0.0,0.06862562653588243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759736745861383,0.08425976804788696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508179427851396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827156985016668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502519781943381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147045833665984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039997350324576,0.0,0.0,0.4290714915092674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532898929558517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05546021737801486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127921360999606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579428175573278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016611953557168,0.4067941366894935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054935032258227,0.0,0.07418409968895898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841055332876679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205410951999356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266678375154097,0.0,0.19312395661824985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292974021178294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5049391479588813,0.1028700830278561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285624206359082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111161423711973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768863778843215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702925366695454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114356029221252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727841066258236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284095547754396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498591918740854
mentalhealth,BlueDude0420,2019/02/25,Can’t sleep at night my heart races Anyone have advice for panic attacks? Every night I try to lay down and go to bed I think to much about my overall physical health which usually ends up with me being overly anxious. I haven’t been able to have a good nights rest in awhile and it’s starting to take a toll on me. ,1.9109090909090904,3.781606151515156,3.003030303030304,93.12454545454548,78.3939393939394,5.612121212121212,20.090909090909093,6.42735559955562,0.05420000000000025,250,6,54,2,6,80,52,66,0.126,0.8290000000000001,0.045,-0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,2,0,6,3,2,0,0,4,10,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,7,1,14,8,2,13,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,6,35,9,0,0.20385080233530145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19920064476153085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302933828149031,0.0,0.14253722076007996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319097165137384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055130474535155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17175309298050315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585310871073512,0.17098038136304228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21668387038915654,0.0,0.24156418227067786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985379509038269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5739005062788478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391749944314651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20399802094681035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442866471072479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327043381077585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306193630018262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384013136675706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22451285894790826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ramenqueenn,2019/02/25,My sister attempted suicide. Idk how to process this. Im just..in shock. I found her in a stupor bc she overdosed in order to die. My younger sister. I love her so much. I am so heartbroken. Obviously i called 911 and my parents to get her some help...but now im at home....like...in shock....idk how to deal with this or what to think..... or what the next steps should be....im going to be worried for the rest of my life....,-1.5880519480519482,0.3388731818181867,0.8068831168831174,100.47318181818184,101.27272727272728,3.8779220779220784,16.51298701298701,5.773587663045528,-0.6619831168831167,312,9,76,3,14,104,59,88,0.218,0.737,0.046,-0.9422,1,0,0,0,0,1,36.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,2,1,11,8,7,2,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,12,1,12,5,3,8,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,3,2,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20829414554813355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21030225728984514,0.0,0.0,0.21170692205834946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22366187319644126,0.0,0.0,0.10657510109151874,0.0,0.1159308532899375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672858759669268,0.0,0.204616193721234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.661024833431373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408247365726212,0.099658036958492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18410677211798027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14995435622655615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21694312550486508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22650408815450634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22312932455216936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070701664811388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20715930836764349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UltimateDILFDoer,2019/02/25,"I fell down a rabbit hole of documentaries and now I’m not sure if I’m normal [TW] I’m an 18 year old female with bipolar 2, depression, and anxiety. I currently take Lexapro 10mg and see a therapist biweekly. This post contains a brief mention of self harm. 

DID has always fascinated me. The way the human mind works to defend and protect itself just amazes me, and DID shows that. 

While falling down this rabbit hole of YouTube channels, articles, and whatnot, I realized some of the ways I act and think may not be “normal”.

For example:

-When I was a kid, I used to talk to myself. Full blown conversations, complete with different voices for different people, never talking to myself. It’s like a movie plays in my head and I’m pretending to be the characters. While I’d say this is normal kid behavior, I did it while coloring, doing puzzles, and even now I do it when I’m driving alone.

-I disassociate a lot, and my therapist knows about this. A particularly bad instance, I was at work, but my mind felt like I was in a field somewhere. I could see the field, I was moving and walking around, but I knew I was at work. I never stopped working, however. It was like my body was on autopilot, talking, working, but I mentally wasn’t even there.

-[TW] When I was younger, I used to self harm a lot, and if I did I never truly felt like myself. It was like I was watching someone else do it to me, but it was my hands. I mentioned this to a friend but never spoke of it again.

-I was having a small breakdown when I was about 16 ish, and I couldn’t control myself, crying and whatnot. While in my room, I violently hit my head against my bedroom door until there was a welt. I was not a violent person and had stopped SH then, but I felt like I was not in charge of my body or what was happening to me.

I don’t believe I have DID, and I’m wary of self-diagnosing for obvious reasons, but are these things I should mention to my therapist? What disorders even display these behaviors?",4.152208287895308,5.2664869898218845,5.467134678298801,80.86508587786261,70.95928753180661,8.769501999272993,30.575154489276628,9.140100540675403,2.5888452199200285,1549,65,307,31,28,519,187,393,0.079,0.8170000000000001,0.104,0.8267,4,1,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,0,6,16,16,2,0,19,0,39,6,5,4,6,67,59,36,0,8,15,0,4,6,1,2,1,3,3,6,20,19,0,5,8,4,0,7,11,6,0,0,29,11,51,10,36,23,4,46,0,1,4,0,16,13,0,8,29,221,71,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861577846620873,0.0,0.0,0.07119391651323034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545421615188737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616776203292913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144017255260386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639836764475512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007879394047986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970947171542537,0.0,0.09596435524875907,0.06831379414681947,0.0,0.09398515058602433,0.0,0.0,0.07369388518908762,0.08684299254047465,0.0,0.17878684794646732,0.09806074614572176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147554814445703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953743975045715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464570076801302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610450453428808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756616395715818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562130630583114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04702229297662612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508057898503587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454824392389238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622573973253933,0.0,0.17278519184509172,0.0,0.0,0.09093819877722284,0.0,0.0,0.2639608221903374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25149593741607656,0.0,0.0,0.08978226798953529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05931748285543085,0.0747088906460703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819441439843148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797134166875425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804183799026174,0.0,0.0,0.13636267322260456,0.0,0.26777751683777845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249587368427009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430662780224222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064058147359703,0.0,0.06433150425043435,0.20631297182637054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980300460796596,0.056843174341209085,0.05482427300046065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779510965100714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582927066383607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114484928688133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055098718971069625
mentalhealth,garquan2,2019/02/25,"idk why im like this. im Garrett im 18 still in high school and idk what happened to me or why ive been the way i have but recently ive been experancing a lot of weard stuff with my mind. I feel very dealing with this. 

to start off I had an mri that i never got the results back for, but the day after the mri the doctors said they were very concerned and needed me back to take it with contrast. They wanted me to go back to see the results a few days after that but my mom couldnt take me that day so they rescheduled it and i couldn't make it to the appointment they rescheduled either. They never rescheduled it after that so i never got the results back. (i was 17 at the time) 


ever since then ive been very unfocused and ive almost felt like ive been in a haze. its like my add came back and its 10 times worse i often find myself spacing off. some times i feel like my thoughts dont work the way they're supposed to. I feel different from everyone else. socially it has affected me too and thats the part that hurts me the worse. I feel like my communication skills are off. I get a lot of brainfog when im surounded by people that last all day. But i dont always feel like this sometimes i feel normal but its not often. ive tried meditation and its had little to no effect. I bring up the mri to my mom often and she says it was probably nothing so I dont think that thats what caused it. im Pretty positive its something mental. What are you guy's thoughts on this? please and thank you.",0.7816091954022966,2.83306555172414,2.5323510971786867,94.12427377220484,83.13793103448276,5.371368861024034,20.011494252873558,6.574015621080383,0.08418202716823409,1177,33,266,12,33,388,149,319,0.07200000000000001,0.821,0.106,0.9147,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,5,3,15,8,0,0,18,0,24,4,0,7,5,58,50,20,0,5,8,2,7,6,0,0,4,2,0,1,29,14,0,0,12,0,0,3,10,1,0,0,16,10,43,7,28,32,7,41,0,1,1,0,15,11,0,8,31,179,72,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777563546684149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462795274398211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29861852192589594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888341880981015,0.0,0.07978884411772474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036379942503008,0.08007471973931321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114898383334865,0.0,0.07949889378690468,0.0,0.0,0.27308721311981765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488361048337263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025727774504753,0.0,0.07421734734279982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356347743415549,0.1664631393950292,0.07457571576271177,0.0,0.07098929223591849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04057955183681434,0.0,0.04414184947875705,0.0,0.12424014747560225,0.0,0.0,0.07690585722238814,0.06868363346544767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206298854074101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314771545064413,0.0,0.41948652826228505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331170128563547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276748566200017,0.07784609483319156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206510708629365,0.0,0.0,0.05184556134562543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827344393553441,0.0,0.07842491156775519,0.1819331489840988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759157992376274,0.17971248505070211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610045143678898,0.07452679503161327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410941948149166,0.0,0.053846840665948505,0.0,0.0,0.0852587196746315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901866833593847,0.08374177338088608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669009981317718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388228861183863,0.061766579303600036,0.0,0.07860654021633487,0.061893212458931264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424971564813634,0.0,0.0,0.07917513995705168,0.0,0.05979442959919312,0.0768179615837408,0.0,0.05497547307345154,0.0,0.062027641362890615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891396759639178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679687311130647,0.0,0.0,0.07150842238832555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976802370520657,0.0,0.12332316312509067,0.13587061603319586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0527330688279584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922585176597112,0.045811984446346855,0.12330221619540516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017081896957245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654493941366344,0.0,0.15830544320736234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,worstgurl,2019/02/25,"Currently over half-way done a 10-week Borderline Personality Disorder program. Ask me about it. For some context: I am 21F, almost 22. I was originally diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder at 15, then bipolar disorder at 19, and I was re-diagnosed with BPD September of my 21st year. To say my mental health journey has been a rollercoaster would be a massive understatement. 

I have been in and out of therapy and hospitals, on and off medications. And now, I am working through a 10-week outpatient program for people with BPD. There’s about ~10 people in it. I was very lucky to be chosen to participate. 

I have learned an incredibly amount in the 6 weeks I’ve been in it so far, and I would love to share some of it with r/mentalhealth because I know many people are struggling without answers and without accessibility to a psychologist. 

I am in no way a clinical psychologist (I am about to start my MSc in Neuroscience) but I feel like describing my first-hand experience and rehashing what my counsellors have been saying these past 6 weeks will be helpful to some people. 

Even if you have nothing to ask - just know there’s hope for you. I thought there wasn’t for myself too, but I promise there is. ",5.596271008403363,7.468086232142857,6.511323529411764,71.84838235294121,68.375,10.627731092436974,35.497899159663866,10.718039707386858,4.3330165966386565,972,50,170,30,17,322,129,224,0.049,0.857,0.094,0.9117,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,0,1,12,7,0,1,8,0,26,6,0,1,0,35,35,13,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,3,5,2,0,1,6,13,0,0,6,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,10,3,23,6,37,19,4,24,0,0,0,1,10,13,0,7,10,125,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480296883574236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770506829821906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21435998146255253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988808742181568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28878917251111963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23272971673237075,0.0,0.0,0.3941881032442944,0.0,0.0,0.11732425692680595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572363099276729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121473111627312,0.0,0.0,0.05796925025207875,0.0819042385598801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751915452545623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186499331538715,0.0,0.0,0.07684584166420877,0.0,0.0,0.11387089405693895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601459950215727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560110059153671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347389750868087,0.0,0.0,0.11623462947420575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549535345618372,0.11553777337670795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100074242542157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944406704257452,0.31792872581602144,0.1001058257483821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234467995841047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114813185515406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985452059276215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110947455414446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101735503666154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459624246423486,0.0,0.1820037907539057,0.3678534233486981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103230999435508,0.0,0.08346478789097532,0.0,0.0,0.1628846720397111,0.0,0.0,0.07382926867977925
mentalhealth,JewNoseRoman,2019/02/25,"I don't know if i want to get better. Hey Reddit, I suffer from depression, anxiety, and slight OCD. It started a couple years ago while I was in high school and I thought I had sorted it and it had gone. 

Now I'm 17 and I've just started my bachelor of midwifery. The stress and all too familiar feeling of being a burden has come back in full force. I'm fairly suicidal now and I don't know if I want to go on. Killing myself in the city would be easy, I just find a suitable building and jump. But then would I be even more of a burden? 

These thoughts torment me and I'm very aware that if I don't seek help soon, I will throw myself off of a building.

Thanks for listening, I just needed to vent and don't have anyone to talk to. ",0.9494230769230754,2.8006448397435943,2.7621538461538457,93.78284615384615,81.37179487179488,5.6984615384615385,21.297435897435893,6.742157984588678,0.31746974358974395,569,17,129,6,15,189,94,156,0.199,0.736,0.065,-0.9633,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,1,9,8,1,1,7,0,15,0,0,0,1,30,34,15,2,8,7,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,5,10,0,0,6,0,0,5,4,6,0,0,6,2,17,2,16,22,3,22,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,4,10,87,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716494739907241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813346377821712,0.0,0.0,0.13539703626967747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889659798736282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712581431735126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680303133545746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21425810010103932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678116573884028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789687034597466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790980155523216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698272765012885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116849379243954,0.0,0.1100496240800528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979227909572053,0.20459045432929432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423309314218145,0.0,0.21283808875682053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358101882062033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959732159660472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741176555489792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218130580343209,0.0,0.0,0.2118098641678304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563986012298436,0.0,0.17827696608362514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074558022044483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597726257846803,0.2284268432888353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27511147455672497,0.0,0.0,0.12469730096510764
mentalhealth,monkey_7k,2019/02/25,"Drug use causing me to feel disconnected from reality and having delusions I took LSD a month ago and in the days following I felt like something was a little off, but nothing major. Last week I tried some DMT and didn't get a full dose but it took me out of reality for a few minutes, but I could handle it. Later that day I took some MDMA and when I was coming down I took another pill thinking it would prolong the experience but it didn't. 

The day after that I felt completely disconnected and that nothing was real, and I had a panic attack because of it. I chalked it up to the MDMA comedown but it's still the same over a week later. I'm getting constant thoughts that existence is only in my head and nothing is real. It's causing a lot of distress and my suicidal thoughts are just getting worse because of it, it's a living nightmare. I'm deathly worried that I'm developing schizophrenia and soon I'm gonna become completely disconnected from reality altogether 

I want to bring this up with my psychiatrist on Friday but I'm nervous he'll judge me for using drugs, especially as my treatment for my BPD is starting soon

Is it possible this is only temporary and not a permanent thing?",5.2257051282051314,6.323727329059827,6.70434829059829,73.04447115384619,68.44444444444444,9.26880341880342,34.710470085470085,9.516144504307137,3.4535905982905994,961,47,170,20,16,329,125,234,0.138,0.848,0.014,-0.9849,0,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,3,14,0,15,5,1,4,0,40,42,18,2,3,8,0,3,1,0,3,4,0,0,0,19,13,0,0,6,0,0,7,3,4,0,0,14,3,19,1,24,24,7,35,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,3,18,119,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160510342510612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836150738471964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175647187110993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599079915403555,0.11413144498918222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015372137781175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21231828602554373,0.0,0.08901867615354023,0.2167010616539978,0.11167435029675153,0.0,0.08250896719238497,0.0,0.0,0.19993818816037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23968430488280576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108682235849996,0.0,0.0,0.052252053497602584,0.0,0.19844614024618606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619734122410322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060571498131776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423628673260353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05048694031434962,0.10357431299780864,0.09125154022622008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785638359095126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248538801328481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974739431130706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719018882230096,0.0,0.12124779144990325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650086796642688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23524818869465103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955655296650352,0.0,0.0,0.07314492612010225,0.0,0.08252784362275581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303771612256908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865482536001404,0.06621640912843323,0.0,0.1640816013284693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4592603182838462,0.07016140485692267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17850599583419027,0.0,0.0,0.06095289463478067,0.0,0.1657870049423588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049472772725326,0.10531278132288,0.07341011450336321,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,comical_issue87,2019/02/25,"How did you get past childhood trauma and negative re-occurring thoughts from the past? As the title suggests, I am trying to find out different methods of dealing with trauma from childhood and thoughts that keep re-occurring at times. I am having a hard time organizing these thoughts and trying to find a way to deal with it, move on successfully so I can move on with my life, career and hobbies that i do have as I have no ambition or motivation to really do anything. I do apologize but I didn't know where else to post and if someone has a better place for me to redirect this I  would be more than willing to post it in its appropriate place. ",10.533333333333333,7.1978183650793675,10.252285714285717,66.44271428571429,59.79365079365079,13.889523809523807,43.453968253968256,11.979248473330829,5.031455873015872,518,23,97,12,5,171,82,126,0.07400000000000001,0.853,0.073,0.2263,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,3,3,4,0,0,5,0,15,1,0,2,0,22,21,12,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,9,0,1,7,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,5,1,11,2,22,13,1,19,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,2,6,74,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875932474432725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838268552828345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226220038798344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634751133838422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070842146717604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860167077664957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174774993131273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016404229950544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907539970643734,0.0,0.0,0.08599038200196749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051754026397208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326001331033058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987316444291461,0.0,0.0,0.3269502267676844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299705003647444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023701245337706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325743062928799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726528747937928,0.18247477920507035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21246216523011568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419652607368392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114993997755132,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Antonius_the_Pleb,2019/02/25,"How do you recover from a major depressive episode? I don’t know when exactly it started but I just recovered from what I know to be a major depressive episode. It was period of three or four weeks where I just couldn’t function at all and it was all just dark, grey, miserable and so hopeless.

I’m doing better today, but I don’t know how I’ll keep myself from going back there. I really hope I don’t, I just don’t really have the knowledge to help myself be capable of keeping up my recovery.",4.064681753889676,4.969400277227724,5.926251768033946,78.2731683168317,70.98019801980197,10.127864214992927,29.28005657708628,10.290406445055957,3.078150212164074,392,15,77,11,7,136,61,101,0.132,0.7120000000000001,0.156,0.3506,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,1,0,1,11,6,0,1,3,0,12,0,0,2,3,22,21,9,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,5,4,0,2,2,1,12,2,9,16,4,10,0,4,1,0,2,3,0,2,6,60,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429444587256026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22347391732808627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4352638625357694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360321873124435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936531315228573,0.0,0.0,0.2509671208385846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4491851600902005,0.0,0.0,0.4165970788576141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237450949691538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178847397149042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23951001366030605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20268373958291167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HeftyCry,2019/02/25,"Preferring Death over becoming an economic slave: an ethical quandry Howdy folks:

This is primarily addressed to practicing psych(s) of either variety, but of course is open to all - and since it's more academic, i'm posting here rather than SW, since from reading there a few minutes ago the responses to any issue seem to be quite canned and superficial-

I'm sure all of you have have had patients utter something akin to ""i'd rather be dead than suffer the indignities of working a job i don't find meaningful"" etc etc. Being a postdoc at a relatively well known university I've often had grad school friends express a familiar sentiment if they ever got kicked out of the program, or couldn't find jobs after receiving their phd.

It's interesting in that frankly I can't blame them, yet obviously they should continue on, and yet (again) if they truly can't do what they find meaningful I don't see a rational reason for them to continue as such -

just curious, it all depends on the context and person(s) involved of course, just wondering what perspective is generally taken by practitioners.......
",13.801773151471643,9.396164482412065,12.752419239052406,54.268442211055294,54.929648241206024,17.20057430007179,51.54414931801868,14.756829357015496,7.313533524766692,888,46,145,29,7,291,135,199,0.086,0.795,0.119,0.6973,2,0,1,0,0,1,30.0,0,1,7,2,13,5,0,0,12,0,18,0,0,2,6,36,25,9,2,7,9,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,6,0,0,10,1,0,1,5,1,1,0,4,1,11,4,25,16,8,17,0,1,1,0,12,7,0,7,8,102,18,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474660959412073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312896545866567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837290498825052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37106570172160863,0.0,0.15048009680951607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4561438719643413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852757453897445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305147893433034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17363425579198175,0.3301687680801408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525715878040202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932472602549394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694193012878556,0.16640275524963125,0.0,0.0,0.17104345994696396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836291073701615,0.13256557756863058,0.1514458353349879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752256774251962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280703130486811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679019787279316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957558385968495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040786887046906,0.12111041347109534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dankbaguette,2019/02/25,"What's happening to me? Hello

Lately I've just been constantly feeling like shit. I don't know how to describe it.  
I have little interest in doing anything. I literally prefer getting lost on reddit or google instead of doing anything worthwhile. e.g. Walk my dogs (I love them so much) ? Nah, let's just stay on my computer doing nothing.

I'm pretty good at programming, most of my teachers agree on that and they want to see me succeed and go far in life, but I can't bring myself to code lately. I just find excuses constantly or give myself ridiculously small daily goals to pretend that I worked.

I love watching shows and animes, I've got at least 3 animes that I want to watch, but I just don't want to start any of them. I don't know why.

League of Legends is the worst. I've started playing LoL and I found out that it just brings the worst of me. I've got at 14 days suspension because I've been terrible in chat, and I entirely deserved it. I just act like a piece of shit in competitive games in general. However, I keep playing, I've made an alt and I played nearly the whole afternoon, but I took no pleasure. It was just a constant battle against myself to try to keep calm, to avoid anger outbursts. (I usually rage a lot in competitive games). The last game where I acted like this was Overwatch. Theses are the only two games where I ever got suspended for toxicity.

I'm also feeling ... lifeless. I just don't have any energy. I also have a short attention span. I get bored of new games or activities within an hour. I love bass, but I never learned it because I couldn't bring myself to train for more than 15 minutes in a row.

Also, one night I might have insomnia and the other I can fall asleep nearly immediately. It's weird, really.

Another problem is that I always want to spend time in front of my computer. I just want to get home as soon as possible to go on my computer to ... do nothing.

The thing is that, in public, I don't show any of that. I'm just looking happy most of the time. I never had an anger outburst outside a game, I also never insult people in real life.

I really want to feel better. I'm creative, I got plenty of ideas for short stories or even programming projects, but I just don't feel like doing anything. It's like something in me is pumping all my life force, all my motivation to move and do constructive things.

What's happening to me? I don't know. I've went to multiple psychologists, but they didn't help in the long-term (however going to a psychologist often solves my problem for a few months).

What should I do to get back on the right track?

Thanks.

  
PS: I apologize if the English isn't perfect. I'm not a native English speaker.

​",2.8332531152647995,4.877203912149536,4.482856308411215,82.77468944704052,76.23364485981308,7.44898753894081,26.47293613707165,8.344100000000001,1.929480529595016,2123,82,408,40,48,713,252,535,0.14400000000000002,0.6859999999999999,0.171,0.7763,2,1,1,0,0,0,82.0,0,0,4,7,25,37,8,1,23,1,36,10,3,3,7,75,86,27,0,12,23,0,4,5,0,2,4,1,1,0,22,9,0,3,14,13,1,14,16,17,0,2,15,9,60,20,64,67,13,71,0,1,4,3,21,33,2,10,28,269,82,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451143148928527,0.06375979674638678,0.0830253150442689,0.09311018389792156,0.15632694894426966,0.08035008352967385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18917245891443632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892142781661758,0.0,0.0934222075746488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777034839884324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24841967201347798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049418071377262125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061140627740352,0.06931350226618149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154979640444588,0.1094846784088155,0.0,0.0,0.07003568350776024,0.0,0.0,0.08401754284468567,0.0,0.0,0.16013776499616392,0.07350759413963169,0.13064665820025784,0.0642710862961857,0.24514242566729416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552199392446487,0.08157085906232506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05136145826879028,0.0,0.07686312189467888,0.0,0.07546215290283798,0.0,0.0,0.08650254817654088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621918458703805,0.0,0.0,0.12633657436931034,0.06246122667124027,0.1728771717799204,0.0,0.0,0.07835629211524944,0.16237173413595365,0.18718039132721065,0.07680037775181453,0.0,0.06781247761110515,0.06434737522964057,0.0,0.08364741483539828,0.06514552935375137,0.2074765590579696,0.07250631366482685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128913044990126,0.0,0.0,0.06116293485392753,0.08144236691123373,0.056329656766964775,0.0,0.1772983830234016,0.07400682746005117,0.0,0.07190924219965371,0.0,0.1470513331034692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051924433668516685,0.05827828122155725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312350879961368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638542133921906,0.0,0.07795719991669894,0.0,0.1466433674520054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087218293968127,0.09817842789351186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543903345208192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061061792596081486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731301458135172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589912029693017,0.0,0.0,0.10847396027181508,0.08167417913301941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054784011487909,0.0,0.0,0.10181513870616726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936363182662832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513540884254818,0.05202469840880007,0.0,0.07485343795253427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439380715502008,0.0,0.27117951531766843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103399032649975,0.0691439427354189,0.08555130132436406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05578536362329141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311018389792156,0.0
mentalhealth,frogfairies,2019/02/25,"Age regression Hi i'm an 18 year old and i experience regression a lot.. i'm assuming this has to do with past traumas but it's been really getting in the way of my life since I'm 18 now and supposed to be an 'adult'. But how can i do adult things like finish school, work, live on my own etc when I feel like a child? Sometimes I look back to things I do and i""m like.. why did i do that, that's so weird and embarrassing! For example I once took my plushie to school a few months back and thought it was completely normal. I got a lot of weird stares of course and when I think back to it I feel so embarrassed because i know it's not normal!! Is there any way I can stop this and act my age?",0.05649999999999977,2.0146880333333357,2.0689166666666696,96.927375,85.33333333333334,6.15,19.375,7.413659706084162,0.2511000000000001,535,15,133,9,16,178,86,150,0.13699999999999998,0.8190000000000001,0.044,-0.9262,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,10,8,0,2,7,0,12,1,0,1,0,23,24,14,0,2,3,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,10,8,0,1,6,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,6,4,16,3,12,17,5,20,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,3,17,82,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488367887917638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557868006994387,0.0,0.09401896044427084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171028901062515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201048265868446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086939707622962,0.0,0.0,0.1559696036189692,0.110184033494895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058033835679712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335416075246056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476238285421771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893927718273057,0.22605125181706856,0.0,0.13619049976052114,0.0,0.1295168136885246,0.0,0.0,0.26224663734422404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310725044881908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022310423999432,0.0,0.0,0.1618415115705189,0.16425303308359138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472327801450746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988055620632286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121839114025416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758307058378954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254030801497434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289456326310206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049310061741832,0.09882623163611244,0.0,0.12244371564048333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135845628521484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24484583617690084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917122675157928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228340738312333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993209479283426
mentalhealth,_Slurpzz_,2019/02/25,"Am I really the problem? New day, new argument.

Now it would be great if the arguments would stop, they are tearing me apart.

I've had one of the shittest weekends of my life and what's happened has started to push me past my boiling point.

Last night I got home from my sister's house and had a tin of tomato soup. I'm a really fussy eater and my meals are few and far between. I felt better after the soup. Fast forward a few hours and my parents came home. They flipped out at me for eating soup. The arguing on their side nearly tore my family in half again, over a tin of soup.

I have received nothing but grief from my family for months now. Last night it was made out that I flipped first, even though I was sitting in my room minding my business.

In reality, I'm scared to eat and will go days starving myself because I constantly worry that I will cause another arguement over something small.

I know it's not good that I do that. I need to feed my brain as I work as an IT Technician, but when my family do that to me, I struggle to find the motivation.

I get moaned at for not eating, but my parents moan at me when I eat because of what I've chosen to eat.

I've not self harmed as far as cutting or anything like that, but I've had the suicidal thoughts.

It feels like everyone is against me.

I've tried counselling and support from work but it's not helping.

Any advice?

PS: I still live with parents but I pay £250 for my keep. This also makes me think they are keeping me their for money. And I'm 18.

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mentalhealth,Gaymbers,2019/02/25,"(Advice) Gay and Depressed (No homophobic slurs please)

Hey so I just ran out of the weed that I usually self medicated with and I’ve just been really depressed lately and lonely. I’m gay and there aren’t that many guys my age around me and the only one’s around are like 50. I like human contact but I just feel like scum and alone when I’m not feeling like scum.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking of hurting myself, which I wouldn’t do but it keeps playing like a record in my head that goes faster and faster and until I’m shaking or crying while masturbating.

I know I’m a mess but if anyone has any ideas on how to stop feeling this way let me know! ",1.0140389294403889,3.277395416058397,2.44207299270073,93.82160097323604,83.8905109489051,5.1131873479318735,18.62238442822385,6.42735559955562,-0.1319942579075426,520,13,114,5,15,168,88,137,0.209,0.6859999999999999,0.105,-0.9224,1,3,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,0,9,12,0,1,4,0,9,4,1,1,0,33,21,18,0,2,9,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,6,12,0,3,7,1,0,2,5,6,0,1,3,3,12,6,11,16,0,18,0,4,0,2,5,5,0,2,15,66,18,0,0.15572612607890882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217376809785618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612853020754024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589910581006193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888732816715327,0.0,0.0,0.2772585361324293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105783716214126,0.0,0.0,0.2682533684080727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362194251761405,0.22250155117264747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419334804478485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598199323454219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670803877181958,0.17579584129387446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841653604221912,0.0,0.0,0.17116601260587413,0.0,0.17566585316962194,0.0,0.0,0.15924051468352582,0.0,0.38039959585846606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788184966203395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15687768880511824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552405325488866,0.11843673617100545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094052275664853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997621439615034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162456312106431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26038802871261474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978301364598878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17151032705454144,0.0,0.0,0.1236081504269138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Choguy03,2019/02/25,"Need some advice to help to continue to support my wife. My wife has struggled with anxiety and depression from childhood. We have been together for over 20 years, and in the last 5 to 8 years things have really gotten more difficult for her. She has made medicine changes, we’ve had two children, we’ve changed jobs multiple times, and she is to the point right now where everything causes her anxiety. I learned over the years to stop trying to fix things, and to be sure I could be there for support. I try to do as much for the kids, take care of things around the house, and overall just make her able to focus on getting time so she can relax. However, things have only escalated. She constantly tells me that she does not feel good enough or adequate at her job, or it being a mom/wife. She says she feels embarrassed that she struggles with this, and wonders if this is what it’s always going to be like. I have told her multiple times that she is amazing, and she is not the only one that has to deal with something like this. I have tried to reassure her that we will continue to work until we find something that gets her feeling better.

That being said, am I looking at this the right way? Are there things that maybe I’m not doing that I could be doing? Any help, or advice is much appreciated!",6.1548162729658795,6.3185549803149605,6.065968503937008,81.73270603674544,66.1259842519685,9.607979002624672,30.71286089238845,9.3871,2.4755446719160106,1031,35,205,18,15,324,141,254,0.08,0.773,0.147,0.9568,3,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,3,0,0,2,7,16,0,3,8,0,30,0,0,3,1,37,49,14,0,4,8,2,3,2,0,1,0,2,0,2,21,14,0,1,6,1,0,1,3,5,0,2,6,6,30,11,32,34,5,27,0,1,1,0,32,11,0,6,16,148,51,4,0.10247701433214323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002787047619533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852690851868009,0.0,0.0,0.06968788383241409,0.0,0.15678927094433345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912262691443146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063259147054316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448214584660508,0.10527212231187637,0.21681418639243288,0.0,0.0,0.11074124686674024,0.0,0.1636391146273356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056493020258404,0.08826330228323491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967832582247168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058861496377523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209973272570128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554463726082796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366213457193084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708002081151248,0.0,0.058240048828679024,0.08595285763278812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737636516816482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824471571197748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20338524852387968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353244410560154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001301857775018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605488254342969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696622875162142,0.06840420281376305,0.0,0.10295193474354024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200198406445158,0.0,0.0,0.150664793381035,0.07598540764575047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944107703743659,0.1558767743814338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687390204214333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564939945509209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502962062951366,0.09747910763002307,0.0814938349230997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577836244136491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567537259862247,0.0,0.21426245105043004,0.0,0.0,0.23257940291310816,0.09658337324239596,0.0,0.07704996135598094,0.0,0.0895694273835374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404058740249243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926551346617575,0.0,0.0,0.09792117875033368,0.0,0.2087254978909099,0.0,0.10010515250993586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134148406446584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113195066644717,0.07460448692915041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797551216702533
mentalhealth,throwaway10O1,2019/02/25,"BetterHelp? Hi everyone. Long time reader, first time poster. 

I’ve been struggling with myself for a few years now, and I’m thinking about starting therapy/counseling. 

How did you all know it was time to talk to someone and how did you go about starting? I have no idea what I’m doing, all I know is I don’t plan to pay through insurance because I’m 24, still on my parents’ insurance and I can’t tell them I’m going. I’m also in grad school living off student loans so money is tight.

I’ve seen ads for BetterHelp and I wanted to know if anyone had tried it. ",0.4651594202898544,2.887935921739132,2.380869565217392,91.648115942029,89.78260869565219,5.501449275362319,21.57971014492753,7.03164865440522,0.801649275362319,441,16,91,7,15,146,77,115,0.066,0.934,0.0,-0.6966,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,1,2,8,1,0,1,1,0,11,0,0,2,2,17,26,9,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,5,0,3,2,3,1,0,1,6,2,10,0,13,20,3,15,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,1,10,54,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748571753691402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644236694620585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276701075280922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001248628890661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814596741171174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380543603587327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23642750292168885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3453012822796444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18493563071287802,0.18534407467171626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23255364855034305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119601905241636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17745425668349105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964794459782963,0.0,0.1672556843852884,0.0,0.0,0.21894775055797844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683365466153162,0.18305610290788607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419799112815511,0.0,0.0,0.3663710625321104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219314684168213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353064929220535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348697756482824
mentalhealth,SKAtheyoung,2019/02/25,"Mental illness while going to college I’m a second year college student who’s has been suffering from depression since about six months into my first year of college and it has since only got worse when I’ve tried talking to my friends about how I’m feeling but they just try change the subject as soon as possible so I try not to talk to anyone about it anymore but the stress of college just makes me feel worse then I already do. 

I won’t to drop out of college but the legal age to drop out in the U.K. is 18 and unfortunately I’m 17, 18 in 3 months but I feel the pressure won’t let me last that long.

I have also gained a lack of fear for death in the last 2 years.",2.132582159624413,3.727600028169016,3.4010563380281686,91.75515258215964,76.88732394366197,5.860093896713615,24.509389671361504,6.42735559955562,0.5983924882629106,532,18,117,4,12,173,88,142,0.254,0.693,0.054000000000000006,-0.9855,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,2,10,6,0,3,8,0,9,1,0,2,0,18,18,14,1,1,7,0,3,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,5,0,3,2,3,10,1,23,13,1,23,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,14,74,14,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436317283905356,0.1263570677446104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15669915550775124,0.1104812299999522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714903553058028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360900418451741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780029361769936,0.23967722491343385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439953211359407,0.0,0.0,0.122074779544367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979825677409971,0.0,0.12637155892205146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575914002691977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157149067937615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983003532342686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054700037557852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923254009777693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522372177626665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017042303825867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17812763878891186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614078264305974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18099494757678666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539979257619651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218264103803441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220425289319496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30525139030797194
mentalhealth,themangastand,2019/02/25,"I have problems understanding suicidal tendencies because I have anxiety about death Having my consciousness about 50% of the time being focused about my death and how I can avoid it. I find it extremley challenging to comprehend someone elses consciousness be about debating the complete opposite. I feel like every instinct in my body is telling me to not die, heck I dont even want to die from old age and fear that. Yet there are people who are willing to kill themselves despite the unknown, despite not knowing what will happen. How can you make a decision without being aware of the consequence. Makes me anxious just thinking about it. Every big decision I make I clearly understand all the outcomes. I find it hard to believe especially if your an agonostic or atheist like me you'd be willing to just become nothing... isn't that terrifying? Like whenever I truly come close to grasping the realities of death and the meaning of existence it terrifies me.   


I want to know how this is possible and what people feel like, I want to better understand that feeling. How can someone want to kill themselves so bad that they can ignore that natural fear. I dont understand.  


To me this is like the same thing of how I cant understand how a blind person thinks. Because 100% of my thoughts are visual(now Ive heard this isnt the case with everyone, ive heard some people who arent blind dont think visually either and my brain cant conceive how that is possible either. Even when I think of a number the representation is visual in my head)",5.257775919732438,7.374536395104897,5.804320462146549,75.59621313469141,69.66433566433567,9.309577379142596,34.11310428701733,9.761364909221204,3.734969778048038,1243,62,208,31,23,401,144,286,0.184,0.685,0.131,-0.9589,1,1,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,3,1,2,20,15,2,3,14,0,33,5,3,10,2,61,60,16,8,6,9,0,4,5,0,3,2,2,0,1,19,8,0,2,23,0,0,1,11,8,0,0,3,8,32,7,28,49,5,10,0,0,2,0,10,4,1,3,10,152,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797102110946845,0.10037670773185883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418714579621602,0.10832588714933072,0.0981293087519256,0.0,0.10010501793949013,0.0,0.07858177732374695,0.0,0.09869379296675083,0.0,0.09918746459153496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653754982061596,0.09315892472898578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442729691819826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123992766406042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422388162840493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737092554774285,0.0,0.14972214837803907,0.08490124952830533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19996488753164154,0.13477770016162616,0.12695080993903282,0.0,0.0,0.16241700437287912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857093404897016,0.0,0.0795933358189151,0.0,0.09118709397180573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19660165535743326,0.0,0.097660730093021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21704134888139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792684992130914,0.0,0.0,0.09678514155351002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525524352545749,0.0,0.09323452012031602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479496584166635,0.07758155061219214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003330395690408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501871924355181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15056688018716094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718892937047688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765997510902327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590288728553372,0.2277293678853792,0.0,0.07053802796765545,0.051809922650193116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4624868188116458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20962725627479464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564950749149555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ASeriousGorb,2019/02/25,"Saw my infatuation of 6 years on linkedin, sent her a message, feel terrible Greetings,

First some backstory on me. I'll try to simplify this. In College, I became interested in a girl for the first time. This interest became an obsession. She said she didn't like me back, so i gave her her space and avoided her throughout the entire time. I no longer think about her.

After college, I met another girl. This one seemed interested in me at first, but really wasnt. I became obsessed with her as well. She and I had many arguments, she followed me to a job I really liked, which I then left because I couldnt handle being around her. I deleted her from all social media and I felt better. Although, I still think about her daily, sometimes a lot sometimes a little. I've thus far been thinking about her at least daily for almost 6 years now. Oftentimes, Ill receive a visual trigger, like if I see the car she used to drive (although this one ive noticed has been fading throughout the years) or if I speak to someone with her ethnicity, or see women who dressed like her. I also get triggered by being in the place where she grew up.

Anyway, yesterday while visiting my parents, i was browsing linkedin and she popped up, picture and all. It totally destroyed me. I was so affected by it, that i sent her a message and explained that I wanted to be her friend. Mind you, its been like 2 years since I last spoke to her. I realized that this was a huge mistake, so i sent another message apologizing and saying that I wasnt in a good state of mind. Then I deleted the app. I want to delete my profile but in order to do that,I have to wait 2 weeks for my premium membership to expire. Im really scared to log back in because i am terrified she might message me back.

My mom thinks I have a really powerful form of anxiety/OCD (that she says runs in the family) and recommends that I see a psychatrist. Im going to try and schedule something with a medical health professional.

There are many tricks that ive tried throughout all this time to get her off my mind. My thoughts will oftentimes be cyclical. But some of them are:

 ""shes not interested in you""

 ""you told yourself that the first girl you liked was one of a kind, now that you like this other one you dont even think about the first girl""

Ill try mentally focusing on where I am, like if im driving ill try to think about myself being in a car without letting my thoughts trail off.

Anyway, am I just bonafide crazy? Some of my friends have said that I just need to find a girl who likes me back, but honestly I think Ive had too much damage been done to me at this point to actually have a good connection with someone.",5.347556818181818,5.7914424299242455,6.048106060606062,80.1984090909091,67.88257575757575,9.430303030303033,31.90909090909091,9.41862664789215,2.7531545454545454,2105,84,416,40,33,689,235,528,0.134,0.755,0.111,-0.8924,4,1,1,0,0,0,65.0,0,6,1,7,27,30,2,4,26,0,39,5,0,5,4,67,74,28,0,8,13,2,2,9,2,2,5,6,0,6,25,14,0,2,15,0,0,13,8,9,1,9,27,12,86,21,62,38,11,73,0,1,4,0,66,30,0,12,37,300,111,4,0.0,0.0,0.06940650072579692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712201417598237,0.0,0.0,0.056877621157819774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915886452401475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331519877648854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21875903255320608,0.0,0.0867127312818239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290315934665569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727842693872183,0.08335648181869901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04697655285892236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704912276243752,0.0,0.03596229489997621,0.0,0.0682899344580096,0.0,0.06500580067426337,0.30248904187915104,0.0,0.0,0.10990003468397247,0.0,0.07431842676747208,0.0,0.040421254786895136,0.1193104205065776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560119905871003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304774997710952,0.0,0.07057932742006423,0.0,0.0,0.07406441994554172,0.0,0.057975332680386085,0.0,0.0,0.07727614071369925,0.07272883267076087,0.0,0.3127271567688528,0.07128466230060282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046685180876545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421659775014806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164967534523743,0.07167599132629451,0.07545103790448418,0.21544407650922112,0.08329925293238395,0.0,0.0,0.05228412512654705,0.05273734456456215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097483797163403,0.0,0.0,0.19278112048727847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897448520170029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430915990060556,0.0,0.06723491403939147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18225473057462208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530990873661694,0.1131208895335159,0.07120726133135967,0.0,0.17002921308853636,0.06474837254091065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058834284400536875,0.0,0.0,0.07250168587820989,0.12052581119057584,0.05475452211917847,0.14068637513163584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679950262542002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190125001847852,0.0,0.11292859399115247,0.12441845671584792,0.0,0.0,0.06796177192336526,0.0,0.24144171981461396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614280667830367,0.0,0.0,0.08390123737294777,0.0,0.05705116606177469,0.0,0.06394877485636392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685607376313696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320540086106007
mentalhealth,rorofish33,2019/02/25,"Drowning in vents I just need to get some shit off my chest so I can keep functioning like a normal human being. I’m tired of being my family’s emotional support system. I am one of the most level-headed people in my large family, and for some reason everyone’s been coming to me for advice and emotional support for the last few years. For the most part, I don’t mind. I like being useful and helping whenever I can. But I am worn out and starting to become resentful. It’s probably my fault, for offering to help when I speak to them, but now it feels like its bordering on abuse. Everyday I get teary phone calls from family asking for help and guidance about things I honestly can’t do anything about. My friends only call to vent/complain about work, and my husband is too worn out from stress at work, the last thing I want to do is give him more to worry about.

My family is going through a lot right now. My grandmother is really ill, my mom is depressed and worried sick about her, my aunts and uncles are panicking, my husband is going through a tough time at work, his family is also going through some major medical issues, and my brother, who is usually my rock, is going through some major issues of his own. I can’t vent to anyone right now. They have enough on their plates. I also can’t ignore those I love and abandon them when they need help. But damn, what about me? I feel like I’m reaching my limit. 

I know people go through rough periods at different points in their lives. I know this will pass with time, as all things do, but fuck, my brain is tired. I wish I could just get one phone call with good news... and not have it be a robocall telling me I was approved for a credit card I did not apply for. ",5.312947120708749,5.553455375000002,5.9258970099667785,81.75310077519381,67.92441860465118,9.226799557032113,28.299557032115175,9.107695989026183,2.1369184939091923,1355,41,270,23,21,441,177,344,0.171,0.674,0.155,-0.9023,1,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,0,0,6,5,17,21,4,1,9,0,33,10,3,2,1,50,63,21,1,6,8,5,3,4,1,1,5,1,0,1,11,16,0,4,5,1,1,7,6,10,0,2,5,4,49,11,47,52,15,36,0,2,0,2,33,14,3,7,18,192,60,4,0.0,0.09936098179846274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194751190631316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412642616684115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863721279272265,0.0,0.06901004769816155,0.0,0.07839824895484737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261733578004244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361605447021958,0.2568928458641056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223839688342464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695578698794129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222892741734913,0.0,0.0,0.0876163757031379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188663554678688,0.0,0.0866503158033379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013230334259255,0.0,0.0,0.395281089059363,0.0,0.08480477898869848,0.11981991864832152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479041575452092,0.07752768271024622,0.13144095310796086,0.08044663488855193,0.2382992790214551,0.07033821027169547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606506872012676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22483970692030986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17505715271360633,0.0,0.07453906725932072,0.0,0.0,0.09217507742172827,0.13671500354555138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388002111229852,0.0,0.07405035958651829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129519984816278,0.07568737711083517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448063310705012,0.0,0.0,0.08467520099225201,0.09821640630141194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243629991547478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216548660617971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365209284883625,0.06377969060526321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908127514276367,0.0,0.11627662601181984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927528041930533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041580475800737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05372318489759339,0.08622256291543935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432328208587388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608160010790185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593568948830361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606192160851497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19032780756235254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329777497491037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713957351257455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779946610979873,0.1927706211460942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242854831327637,0.0923604951368468,0.0,0.049463096780121465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643543856022313,0.0,0.0,0.1831543325035226,0.17032882076053027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400341375867113
mentalhealth,yrfutureshrink,2019/02/25,sent my partner to the hospital i took my partner to the hospital yesterday for suicidal thoughts and they got admitted involuntarily for about 3 days. they are angry and upset and i can't help but feel like i tricked them or something. i've been worried sick about them all night and just feel awful about it :( i can't help but wonder if it wasn't the best thing to do...,6.66,6.119287567567568,7.092567567567568,77.16290540540544,65.21621621621622,10.643243243243244,34.71621621621622,10.125756701596842,3.239010810810811,296,12,60,6,4,97,48,74,0.363,0.5870000000000001,0.049,-0.9805,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,4,1,4,4,1,1,3,1,6,1,0,0,1,15,14,8,1,1,5,0,2,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,6,2,10,2,8,8,2,5,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,3,4,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29208687062301625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949780080247665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814608487712225,0.19883676606804035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226034174560585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3731132578960957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597644610647575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26119090592736915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142696164495448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304444413122238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490800001722615,0.0,0.0,0.22096043928575584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092313850331356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018336095786819,0.0,0.28265443901368525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BronxBushido,2019/02/25,"[M17] I’m too insecure to function around women. I can’t even value myself as a person. I need someone to fill that void inside me I’m scared that my insecurities are going to keep me single forever. I hate myself based off the way that I look and girls always talk about guys I know, and say they’re cute and it makes me upset because I literally eat one meal a day and exercise everyday but still nobody cares about me or thinks I’m cute. The thing that makes me upset is that men/ boys are expected to make the first move this is an issue because I’m afraid that I’m too ugly to date or be attracted to. And the only people who thrive in this system are people who are confident and secure. And here’s the thing I derive my security and value from the validation and praise of others which basically means if I don’t have someone that likes me ever I’ll never be confident. I don’t have the mental capacity to be alone I don’t Value myself at all. I can’t deal with freedom and I would literally give up my free will to somebody if it meant they could take my loneliness away. I can’t form my own opinions. I resent being around family because I don’t want to be loved by someone related to me and I’d rather be with someone else than near them.  People say I’m average looking but I feel like I’m ugly. I’m not smart I just get all A’s because i stress out and work myself half to death to take my mind off of stuff. I can’t even go outside anymore because I get depressed seeing couples out on the street. I can’t look at Reddit too long because all the “my girlfriend made me this or drew me this” posts I can’t even watch tv or read books with romance as a subplot because it just makes me upset with how lonely I am. I don’t want to be trapped alone with myself anymore. I don’t need constant attention or affection but the concept of being loved by someone is enough to make me be a less pitiful person. But since I’m not handsome or confident and need someone else to boost my confidence I can’t talk to girls which means I’m just alone. Since I have a music page on Instagram that I HAVE to check on everyday I get depressed because I see all these girls and relationships neither of which I think I can have. I know I’m not owed anything and the only person I hate in this situation is me. I just wanna be loved but my situation makes it impossible. I haven’t even seen a girl my age since middle school and I’m going to an all Male school I have to complete. I’m not sure my social skills is gonna get better in college either because I’d just be in the corner sweating at a party and I’d be too worried about flunking my classes to go anyhow. It’s almost like my life is destined for me to die alone, I can’t handle that. I couldn’t handle being alone forever. I have a therapist and I take meds but I’m not sure that it means anything. What can I do now? What is there to do? I exercise everyday eat once a day and drink lots of water. I do everything I can to look attractive and I can turn off the depression around girls I don’t know why I’m still so lonely. I just feel hollow and I need someone to make me not feel empty I want to do my best to make that person happy as well.",2.5349599823370315,3.9792706035767513,4.379807087266105,85.79347505105702,75.45305514157974,7.116421041011205,24.34842965170834,7.793537801064563,1.20425415907711,2529,80,530,36,54,860,257,671,0.147,0.677,0.17600000000000002,0.9808,1,10,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,2,6,30,42,3,8,25,0,60,12,1,11,9,110,132,40,2,15,28,0,3,3,1,3,3,2,0,14,34,31,5,3,13,6,3,6,25,18,1,3,3,13,85,25,69,111,15,48,1,7,8,3,31,24,0,12,18,356,119,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05585204269623841,0.2888378264905694,0.0,0.0,0.046410462021442035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063047175709964,0.0,0.0,0.09179850697949184,0.14895855714429904,0.0,0.0,0.052403796667677464,0.0,0.0,0.3060071733339861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853392732978947,0.04932972407448348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05686779271889311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05848053083634836,0.06027451122123161,0.0,0.04453294472432048,0.0617155643688073,0.0,0.07194237252512281,0.05750305528106115,0.14412048503379105,0.0,0.05788713349722285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054639671923956884,0.0,0.11414643507776237,0.09318810862171403,0.0,0.0,0.057631967266846225,0.0,0.14735923693309574,0.05045297865821773,0.0,0.0,0.05012826323264892,0.0,0.052581058879406825,0.0,0.08460672418969753,0.039846696260916775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744340706075115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656354066050635,0.053505838791719176,0.12679613336387646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05522743974244861,0.0,0.05937505214495487,0.0,0.11013536413103292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058216106897496275,0.0,0.049576658140984387,0.0,0.0,0.09195980987844407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03939654549844742,0.08174864619538608,0.0,0.0,0.049360389733808775,0.1873526307590653,0.0,0.0,0.04741913039599443,0.15102123055379796,0.052777011351544265,0.2978496274320613,0.0,0.0,0.18227066719328391,0.06195504531357517,0.0,0.05620952765513456,0.0,0.056318299208219465,0.0,0.0,0.059281523300720965,0.0,0.165430079049225,0.04301822512860591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059400082857916224,0.037795555816199235,0.08484098429819023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600507122365927,0.19480732634503511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053418406635303964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557915288285976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05988301737016252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871131952206378,0.055841941645850934,0.11289745982822792,0.08889319448472696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841653006348434,0.12539009961179914,0.0,0.0568570513222897,0.33081434622252803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890862659739788,0.0,0.06389171776704612,0.0,0.06385067360333976,0.0,0.0,0.10513725967504192,0.0,0.12581081282031367,0.08966197125095864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476073992575965,0.07411076994059282,0.07147857470288788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066874460080731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869515932355072,0.044272737870606184,0.0,0.0,0.05014971348547083,0.0,0.050329557057704616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040605908925483165,0.056643677127217434,0.0,0.03962197907242783,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thefishqueen,2019/02/25,"How do you deal with being emotionally unstable I struggle to make sense of all of this but I’ll try.

Basically I’m a 22F who’s struggled since her teens. I don’t know if I have depression and anxiety as I’ve never seen anyone to get diagnosed but I can tell you I feel very anxious and I hate myself almost constantly. I just feel like my brain is against me with the way I think about things. 

Anyway, I find that my biggest problem is how unstable I am. My mood will change many times during a day, going from one extreme to another. I’ve taken personality tests and I score very high on Neuroticism, so this can explain that. But it still doesn’t feel healthy. I’m overly sensitive, I never know what I want because it always changes, etc.

How can I manage my emotions better to become more stable? ",3.0885714285714267,5.1134306918239005,4.57261904761905,82.50750000000002,75.41509433962264,7.561725067385446,26.45148247978437,8.418075326091056,1.932970889487871,636,24,122,12,14,212,109,159,0.197,0.72,0.083,-0.9515,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,1,8,9,1,3,3,0,12,2,1,4,3,28,28,12,0,3,5,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,8,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,2,4,23,2,14,24,3,12,0,1,1,0,8,4,0,2,7,81,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225911143517614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821073625496947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489691469684508,0.1086805089711372,0.16049474477625386,0.0,0.09933622315753816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866024399661347,0.15690132421240804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564630361587595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15859323516714147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30057510934735576,0.0,0.0,0.15352345222459438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162116098084704,0.14646435750938994,0.12236169679009515,0.14419454062323694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31961145621816583,0.0,0.0,0.1584417380026702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21549932327681928,0.1014923596355259,0.0,0.0,0.1298462375045373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422389996677085,0.0,0.08073968468737848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026128931471946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010109221798631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615210246597072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940653201670309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483051401143522,0.14403316634307597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21914093690707584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626795954184912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404701694452767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13593848567586547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751890425843403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345451685144482,0.0,0.0,0.2970375727026836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241724117685614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943826919354156,0.0910304980176717,0.0,0.0,0.08284013792156887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645385048526688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23443953644304746,0.08379452204151923,0.1127658013249189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DomingoShaw,2019/02/25,"Brother has Bipolar Disorder, started marijuana again Hello, I am looking for help and advice. For the last 4 or 5 years my brother has been suffering with some form of bipolar disorder. He has had many psychotic breaks, and has been in and out of different treatment facilities where he was told to stay sober or he would have more psychotic breaks. My brother has always been my best friend and this whole sage has really hurt me a lot. I also think a lot of my prodding/advising in his periods of psychosis actually made things worse and damaged our relationship.

He has gotten much better recently and has been holding a steady job, and we have also moved in together. However last weekend he smoked weed on a date. Any time i try to talk to him about smoking weed he gets mad and doesn't want to admit he should not smoke it. Well he came home high and acting slightly irrational and as soon as I said something it turned into a fight in which he said he didn't want to smoke again. Next morning I wake up to him making canna butter on the stove. Needless to say I am very worried

Since he smoked we've had 3 big arguments because he gets super defensive and paranoid as well as irrational whenever I ask him about marijuana, or even just try to chat sometimes. Basically he is displaying many of the same psychotic attribute but is more or less lucid still. I feel so conflicted because i want to notify my mother and get this nipped in the bud but I know that will be very turbulent and dramatic. Also I love my brother and want him to be happy and he has asked me to try trusting him.  I want to trust him, but I am starting to feel uncomfortable living with him. 

Can anyone please give me reflection or advice. I am nervous that history is about to repeat itself and I dont want that to happen.",6.2912315270936014,6.676590126436782,6.843546798029558,75.51327586206898,65.83908045977012,10.30673234811166,33.23809523809524,10.181067101454742,3.356030213464697,1436,58,264,32,21,471,191,348,0.112,0.79,0.098,0.8335,3,0,5,0,1,0,24.0,2,0,0,3,16,17,3,1,9,0,34,4,1,3,0,56,64,32,0,8,10,5,2,0,2,3,2,3,2,0,10,22,0,3,6,2,0,3,4,7,2,0,14,7,34,10,41,45,11,35,0,3,1,1,46,13,0,8,16,177,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.09693547296390548,0.0,0.0,0.19413570593740187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383116444572113,0.08265369035141049,0.0,0.0,0.06755039952534901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945651207037977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572741320695232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110594153137415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042447089264736,0.08785268582090686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361141988770697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378269305022614,0.22769031244546145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164184896977458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560904701972728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045232157053437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674505795161718,0.0,0.15569345320619235,0.09529004536606492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784056327997335,0.10574269164397916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658136136524083,0.10495162783551648,0.09963991418911683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633890189140588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857348250371273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054591266131300685,0.1619406319248193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771357725712524,0.0,0.08341538553380241,0.0,0.0,0.16890011216319714,0.08965264499281493,0.0939920561856944,0.06630609189388881,0.2014177917913667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557612350840097,0.07302178246485369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564263764320206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903869790925544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363578455697062,0.0,0.09808015717420887,0.10664734112611964,0.0,0.0,0.18897840782818476,0.07899423551368764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216995706771361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764720226928606,0.09824368157415103,0.0,0.1406179690183202,0.10587662847511782,0.07932811182718595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984075664502012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599297188147288,0.0636490968084214,0.0,0.0,0.057922345510724685,0.0,0.0,0.09491771571777136,0.0,0.20232341690221084,0.1080466647353606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392159853819752,0.3515379413436152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786260558115111,0.0,0.0,0.11090265542957392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008783094526244,0.10122964234715376,0.0705638911297518,0.0,0.0,0.06396771914841715
mentalhealth,sarahelizabeth678,2019/02/25,What is an evidence-based treatment for Reactive Attachment Disorder? Does it go away? Would it look similar to Borderline Personalty Disorder in adults?,7.493749999999999,11.614997541666668,8.180000000000003,50.66500000000002,73.58333333333334,16.533333333333335,45.5,12.45797560212912,9.7326,127,9,15,8,3,42,22,24,0.211,0.711,0.078,-0.5775,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32348897093404144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7892142560685487,0.0,0.3013065034747303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19567833491344705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891322460392333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24458672942709644,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,milkstatue,2019/02/25,"Need a little encouragement - I can feel another bout of depression about to hit I haven't had an episode in the last two years, I've been keeping well, doing my thing. Before that, I'd had about 4 very long episodes over the course of ten years (give or take). The last episode was the worst, with me being suicidal for several months. 

Over the last few weeks, I've been feeling low, I've been traveling - and every time I return from somewhere my mood, my self, everything just plummets, and I take longer to bounce back. Last week, all I did was sleep, get high, order food, sleep some more. I know it's a cycle, and I know I need to get out of it, but I just can't find the motivation. I haven't worked out at all in all of last week, and it makes me feel worse. 

Last night, when I went to bed, I told myself I would restart today morning, but the morning came and went, I had breakfast, and went back to sleep. All the sleeping and getting high has also put me in a clouded mood, so my brain is just fuzzy and I can't think. Again, I know I need to break the cycle and I'll be fine, but I'm really scared that I can't. I'm scared that if I don't break the cycle now, I'll just let the depression hit me and then I'll be a goner for another 6-8 months at least. 

I start crying for no reason, and I hug my pillows to sleep. I'm fine when I'm with people, but every day, there is at least one moment when I start questioning all my relationships and wondering what I could be doing better, and then it starts the cycle of me berating myself for not being good enough. 

The worst part of it all, is I work in mental healthcare, and I help others, and it makes me feel even worse that I can't help myself. 

I should probably go see my doctor again. 
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mentalhealth,AlexaCurtis,2019/02/25,"4 Ways in Which Social Media Can Affect Teen Mental Health  

Teenage life is extremely hard, with they being constantly pressurized by their parents as well as the society in general. They have the huge task of being successful in their life and so, this makes their life a whole lot miserable. They often seek solace in a lot of activities that will give them relief from the huge pressure and responsibilities upon them.",9.58783783783784,9.774330081081082,8.846621621621622,64.58722972972974,59.0,12.264864864864863,34.71621621621622,11.698219412168324,4.332794594594594,342,12,53,9,4,108,55,74,0.085,0.74,0.175,0.7655,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,8,1,3,6,0,3,5,0,6,4,0,2,0,9,8,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,8,3,12,5,3,9,0,1,0,0,11,7,0,3,1,42,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25599518939872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22724758870543435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122079513205612,0.0,0.0,0.25180422807305913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5019697010655042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4027927898839344,0.0,0.0,0.15812669037445146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387305742766459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630396016369834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414807076324373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803317831623434,0.0,0.0,0.21299360445883547,0.0,0.0,0.2644805229190865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Meowjow,2019/02/25,"I relapsed on Friday night. I cut myself for the first time in a couple of months, maybe more. I felt so shit, my mind just said ""Fuck it, do it"" and i listened. It was anything deep but enough to make then scab over on my arm.   It's been a bad month recently and i really dont know how to cope. My emotions are a constant  rollercoaster and it's tiring trying to keep at one stable mood.  I've been feeling suicidal recently  too, I dont know what's wrong with me. I thought I was getting better.

All i want is to be emotionally and mentally stable is that too much to ask for?",1.5300454545454514,3.3404748833333366,3.4145454545454537,90.01227272727274,79.33333333333334,6.696969696969697,22.57575757575757,7.686295010490155,0.9204166666666668,446,14,98,7,11,150,82,120,0.142,0.7290000000000001,0.128,-0.5848,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,3,0,4,0,11,5,2,2,1,18,24,8,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,7,5,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,7,4,14,1,14,16,4,15,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,0,9,67,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735519660703412,0.0,0.14468073479621404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921905189979213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687361406607848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724176633259946,0.0,0.0,0.17124021059861974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627577069534038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481708084564378,0.0,0.15990958379658793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825186086351232,0.0,0.1485949232230471,0.0,0.0,0.1316397103338371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307414069957528,0.08085628582906708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755877415468915,0.0,0.0,0.17010530348648822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330423421106501,0.0,0.1554783235788124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15596278591562365,0.0,0.15626459087921582,0.0,0.24705766277241295,0.0,0.11376721358168206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523280604512231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487012480321783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914392183750546,0.0,0.3056158262018269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472132435007548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588600424381678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928352174251532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286302430206678,0.09024244041210973,0.177875115110049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507262630557423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128210493024977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920696513230182,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThoughtsToGetRidOf,2019/02/25,I feel like I'm going to die if I sleep I know its probably in my head but I feel it some how i know it's going to happend I cant sleep. I'm posting here cause if its it's a condition anyone knows I'd feel better cause then I know it's in my head if not then I'm going to die. Never happend before this day is special I dont know why.,-3.196096866096866,-1.6757839999999984,0.8251851851851875,100.24410256410255,105.04938271604937,3.4799620132953466,13.638176638176635,5.369823440869387,-1.1398820512820516,260,6,68,2,13,96,42,81,0.104,0.774,0.122,0.09,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,0,3,4,4,3,1,18,17,7,2,3,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,8,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,3,10,3,5,17,1,10,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,5,37,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413759744210834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389008283564582,0.0,0.0,0.14436795326367818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353742971992301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527296948491807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3388239906096767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131001998020275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476093234409412,0.11661500426846337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27831036863066355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350520838065607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4485480030465437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974829885178808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589677382901499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633385706559855,0.0,0.1759947690957522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32670545798006584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729405601615264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,a-sadboiii,2019/02/25,Not attention seeking Literally want to give up with life 80% of the time. So much shit has happened in the past few months and my family are the least supportive. Don’t know how long I can cope ,3.668461538461538,5.141124564102566,4.608205128205127,85.17846153846155,72.58974358974359,9.302564102564103,25.820512820512814,9.725611199111238,2.179112820512821,154,5,33,4,3,50,37,39,0.14,0.828,0.032,-0.6669,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,4,2,1,1,0,7,9,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,9,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,4,21,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092411694020684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31468001045277644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29007929700245105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027885421645287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317000467465503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902996814581661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26183353168376233,0.0,0.2411426627099049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131454781457481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367220873722474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37224898565457704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912792067706922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19348289500684032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,natechar,2019/02/25,"I feel trapped I have anxiety and depression. I’m not on ssri’s for anything, because i wanted to at least talk to a therapist before accepting medication, but that’s been a problem. At our school, the mental health services are so swamped that i wouldn’t be able to be seen before the semester is over, so I’m basically just waiting until i graduate to get help. But every day i feel dragged down, i can’t sleep, and i definitely can’t build up the urge to work out. I’m getting more and more unhealthy which makes me want to work out even less because then people will see me. I feel like I’m in a cycle and i can’t break free. I don’t know what to do. Not really sure if I’m asking for advice or if this is just a vent post or whatever. Sorry",4.030000000000001,4.298557382165605,5.715165605095542,82.05109235668793,70.71974522292993,9.082547770700637,29.07579617834395,9.120678840339163,2.2162820382165602,587,21,126,11,10,202,97,157,0.132,0.7509999999999999,0.117,-0.0908,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,7,0,14,3,1,1,1,28,32,14,0,6,10,0,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,5,0,1,0,7,2,0,0,2,5,14,5,19,26,4,14,0,1,2,0,4,9,0,4,4,81,19,5,0.17593055120236534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191729849126902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458639012671506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447758533850929,0.0,0.16447131649551616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21449126216924566,0.0,0.29940788235167803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134606511541608,0.0,0.1515287259570353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162004698286169,0.0,0.14822907721044726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668673184285475,0.12568482093155608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383290347502992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18700594904464904,0.0,0.0,0.11792254001408703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668682995942364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595078072208072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743500905069774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772315215036715,0.17729661630473142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196809248147335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16849283635573245,0.0,0.0,0.16834177756073732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270561605946293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805111030065493,0.14019387150303544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17605760614241608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19693984842467474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658124624556783,0.0,0.0,0.1414063129256251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20426892979199546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075367946051224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256159073196148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aussie_GymRat,2019/02/25,"Numbers test to measure risk of nervous breakdown? Hello Reddit Hivemind! I hope you can help me source something. 

I remember hearing about a test that can indicate whether an individual is at a higher risk of a nervous breakdown. It applied numbers to risk factors, and your number indicated your risk. For example,

​

Moving house - 4

Losing job - 6

Losing a loved one - 6

Lack of sleep - 2

​

And if your tally was 'xx' or above you were particularly at risk. 

Does this sound familiar to anyone, and if so, is there a source?

Thank you in advance :) ",4.8864576457645725,7.41076356435644,5.61042904290429,74.82662266226626,71.77227722772277,7.261166116611661,33.994499449945,8.167268648758528,3.0296723872387243,444,23,70,7,9,144,70,101,0.2,0.657,0.14300000000000002,-0.5502,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,6,0,3,3,12,0,7,6,0,6,2,1,0,0,10,10,8,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,9,0,1,2,2,9,3,11,8,1,5,0,2,0,1,10,3,0,4,0,46,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372078117274435,0.41727347743688575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200580393008118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502575880807373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935206468326304,0.0,0.11508823955037865,0.0,0.0,0.17053884047891918,0.0,0.19812106909027605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703877531952191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841812642758384,0.0,0.0,0.1549677698336263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824920660075071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163497272465731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19450490867761644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182601348278356,0.0,0.0,0.13218459770293253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580801440724796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41727347743688575,0.0
mentalhealth,AnxiousMember,2019/02/25,"I fought my anxiety for 19 years by myself, but I need your help now Hey, im 19 yr old college student from Prague. (rIm reposting this because of an error in title).

I have extreme anxiety since childhood and i need some help to fight it. The thing is, that I was always a different kid, very quiet, little or no friends. In school i always followed what teacher said, because I was simply too scared of things that would happend if i didnt (like being called out). I avoided everything as much as possible, mainly social interactions, but also things that were new to me. For example I never went shopping alone, because I was scared about what would the shop assistant think about me. Same things with traveling to another city, visiting doctors or joining social events - i was never to a party. Then about the fear of change I can state some examples. I was really scared of taking a new shirt that I got for christmas, or going to school with new haircut - even when it was always the same but shorter than before, or simply I wanted to start exercising because I was very skinny, but I was feeling judged by others, even my mother, so I couldnt even do that at home home unless I was alone.

I always accepted the way Im and avoided everything, unless I was forced to. Thats probably why I closed myself at home with my computer and video games, it was the perfect escape from reality - but not a solution. Then when I moved with my mother to another city around 4 years ago, I never made any friends there. I was trying to become a profesional esport player at the time, so I didnt mind, but I had to stop pursuing my dream bacause of dry eye syndrome - it took me months to visit doctors, but they never solved anything. And thats time when I started feeling isolation and loneliness, so on top of my anxiety, I started feeling depressed too and I couldnt make the move to change things, so I just stayed alive, in my room for 2 years and just distracted myself with anything possible.

But now im at college and I face the reality, I have to take care of myself. Going there for the first time was probably the scariest shit I did in my life, but I think I have very good willpower and I managed to do it. But I didnt make any new friends there and the first term around 6th week I couldnt stand it anymore, the constant presure, and closed myself in my room for several weeks, thats where I experienced the greatest depression of my life. Luckly I barely passed the tests and was allowed to continue my studies.

Now Im back and things are going decent, to-do list helps. Im texting with a girl, I never told her about my issues, but at least I dont feel so lonely now, it definitely helps. She is the reason why I made it back to college and didnt quit. I try to think about things as little as possible, and just do it, because doing it never feels that bad as thinking about it. But the anxiety is still there. For example today, im about to travel to prague (4 hour route), and I already have this feeling in my chest since yesterday, although I traveled like this many times before. I also have sleeping issues when event is coming up, I wake up with this feeling in my chest several times during the night. Falling asleep is usually not an issue. I also need to take a bag with league of legends logo on it - I never used it before, I received that from riot games for being high in ladder ranking. Im probably scared what will people think about me, and it makes me really anxious right now.

Any step outside the comfort zone is just so painful for me. Last week (the first week of college) I made many of these steps. I know these things probably seem trivial, but thats just the way it is. I had to buy some things for the first time, take money from cash machine, order pizza in a restaurant, and also probably the biggest challenge - I had to find a new place to stay in. Im moving in today.

What do you think I should do? Im currently reading Feeling good from David D. Burns and it helped a lot with my depression episodes, but I feel like the anxiety is the major issue here. I'd be glad if you shared some tips or stories with me.

Thank you.",4.839725935828877,5.738770713235298,5.582456327985742,81.46432620320859,69.19607843137254,8.33650623885918,29.41969696969697,8.52124585384065,2.15845862745098,3266,119,624,49,55,1064,326,816,0.127,0.7509999999999999,0.122,-0.7812,5,7,0,0,1,0,101.0,0,4,1,9,48,34,3,8,37,0,55,17,10,9,8,123,103,64,0,12,30,2,9,3,3,4,6,2,5,2,47,35,2,3,20,11,5,20,18,17,0,4,32,13,93,17,100,61,13,126,0,4,1,0,34,35,1,14,67,438,140,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03639696713834754,0.0,0.0,0.08505098036236414,0.04531042547064002,0.13134178295816007,0.13665991542568234,0.0,0.0,0.08376605914560699,0.08610939949580383,0.15705287898280204,0.04638579993292968,0.040720212252044564,0.0,0.0,0.06757730721483278,0.07310371747598142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314478521793374,0.034283153734142036,0.12514813053763724,0.04534723828044816,0.10481640053471028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04192656805132117,0.0,0.04186312420149279,0.0,0.08687148545855546,0.03536931578608555,0.0,0.04437097395201668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609403805723117,0.0,0.0,0.0428986715372093,0.0,0.08405273291258122,0.0,0.0,0.04812168969237112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135867961934144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380366317669003,0.0,0.0,0.04620360378541048,0.18684926741624866,0.029333074396533137,0.0,0.0,0.03752784306630008,0.13970151802050554,0.0,0.0,0.09516792067374506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000556060158337,0.06887789536477164,0.03283921145109902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760733450640975,0.04338185180483177,0.12355875026463276,0.0,0.0404355564155957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.399163921619717,0.1714227331188531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022565350018751942,0.033469154505890886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05800339343092997,0.06017912011985596,0.08230525867241104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03490750828165668,0.0,0.1165551083782049,0.08222305203706856,0.083256229317794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041458615533485316,0.0,0.03277347925673057,0.13091996299518455,0.030183620880846695,0.09133579326879238,0.2216745280183546,0.19827868221260447,0.0,0.03853176868026356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043085272418942264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04369044031868197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028465642105744756,0.0,0.0428986715372093,0.0,0.0,0.138866005421731,0.0,0.0,0.2213466306360405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04367206967261677,0.04107083445788096,0.0,0.052607820041843695,0.04221623384809019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035064779192566606,0.03905719926309243,0.0,0.1644317830536168,0.08310926373008241,0.0,0.037379229827341286,0.0,0.09277159986585937,0.04214721573211603,0.06793005451821345,0.0,0.04108937595466153,0.0837104338830752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718685005929197,0.08752840333836999,0.032790347917590904,0.034327767055732275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348720734358686,0.0,0.0,0.037802276495299096,0.0,0.0,0.24550430010751045,0.15785647591374913,0.0,0.0,0.14365352844679807,0.0,0.0778396330487196,0.039234325010898435,0.04561886316243962,0.0557537135263543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03546241760256765,0.04522148413572998,0.10163571507256866,0.024218088513191398,0.06518259406968574,0.1317425327898996,0.0,0.0,0.03806277468614387,0.07410002735741197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058335298477900185,0.0,0.0,0.0793233464679231
mentalhealth,scoo-bi-doo,2019/02/25,"Can you imagine how hurtful are you? When you are having suspicions over your husband cheating with your own mother Im not delusional, i dont have good relationship with my narcissistic mother. I grew up on violent household
And now here iam at 3:20 am crying, thinking about what to do? How to handle this reality? How to find out that my husband is cheating with my own mother?",3.1742605633802796,6.041118028169016,4.490968309859156,78.67194542253522,79.98591549295773,6.930281690140845,28.59330985915493,8.07648339933343,2.4527028169014087,304,14,51,6,8,100,51,71,0.281,0.7190000000000001,0.0,-0.9734,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,5,0,0,7,5,3,0,0,0,9,0,0,3,0,12,10,5,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,10,1,12,10,2,8,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,0,2,44,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884816448520103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4144898110590297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232411139642423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29663532201794035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786030163046082,0.0,0.3820161841813276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797011659237248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266126470004473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Extermie,2019/02/25,"Am I okay? I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t talk to anybody without having a panic attack. I rarely go outside unless I’m forced to. I cry whenever I go to school. I have no motivation for anything. I don’t take care of myself (I haven’t brushed my hair in 2 weeks) and I hate myself. 
I am 15. What is wrong with me?",-2.322716894977169,-0.6085363424657544,1.007157534246577,98.67685502283106,104.2054794520548,3.5292237442922367,15.672374429223744,5.46131890053228,-0.8164968036529681,249,7,61,2,12,88,48,73,0.246,0.584,0.16899999999999998,-0.7785,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,0,7,2,1,1,1,9,1,1,1,0,7,16,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,0,2,16,2,10,16,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,40,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105369075965565,0.0,0.0,0.2779480935658675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490994676861753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683729105703733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27770419613203595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412143962935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342713135973472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866556638083533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472638360112557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183697455708782,0.1963743293212672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19597793652260592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355147635880876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5342488684943173,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InfamousGain,2019/02/25,"Has anyone encountered this behavior in real life before and what does it mean about the person doing it? I know a couple of people who will lie, take advantage of others or treat them poorly, then if you confront them on this behavior will respond with something like:

“Why are you attacking me?”
“It makes me sad that you feel that way about me.”
“How could you be so cruel as to accuse me of that?”

So that you become the bad guy.",5.810000000000002,5.957452380952383,6.273904761904763,80.00442857142859,66.85714285714286,9.100952380952384,26.323809523809523,8.841846274778883,1.8295552380952385,336,8,64,5,5,109,63,84,0.187,0.74,0.073,-0.9063,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,5,2,1,5,8,3,0,3,0,7,1,0,2,0,11,12,8,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,12,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,12,3,10,8,0,4,0,1,0,0,11,2,0,2,2,51,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17426015017109064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835232917431583,0.0,0.0,0.20808796947260452,0.0,0.27524348571150986,0.21206753734729894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19898158421319548,0.27575676490151746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180937654469767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601292607508474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24676660211939086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369645833126618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603118509985125,0.12175611582196012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663560289203566,0.0,0.0,0.27147322308787025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727775020773344,0.2176089558664568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28366648415680723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918614361867433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738213548874186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19781893098431685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22488193983321386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,doitpow,2019/02/25,"How do I stop constantly thinking about death? Ever since I was around 7 years old I have been terrified of death, about the incomprehensible gulf of eternity and the annihilation of my self. I can't go into it in detail here because I have a panic attack when I even try to explain it. 

This phobia or obsession or whatever has re-emerged and subsided over different points in my life, when it's at an ebb I will think about my own death maybe once every couple of days. At full peak it is maybe 20-30 times an hour, it fills me with anxiety and a twisting sense of dread. 
It has re-emerged stronger than ever over the last few months maybe 7-8 months, I'm not really sure. This time it is orders of magnitude worse than anything before. I wake up 5-6 times a night, just jerk awake with my heart racing and the thought of my own death gripping me. I cannot sit anywhere without thinking about it which has lead to obsessive distraction, podcasts and video games mainly, which I can barely recall or focus on, they are just there to occupy my brain. I drink very heavily because it can sometimes lead to a decent blackout and night's sleep, although the quality of sleep is poor. 

I'm 29, I feel like I should have addressed this before and I'm terrified it will just stick with me for my whole life, ruining the precious few years I actually am alive. 

Does anyone else have experience with this? What helped. ",6.921508515815084,6.570963218978102,6.951518248175184,77.7585669099757,64.62043795620438,10.3723600973236,32.50024330900243,9.888512548439397,2.9066319221411185,1118,39,218,21,15,358,161,274,0.205,0.755,0.039,-0.9928,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,2,16,11,2,5,12,0,22,8,5,3,3,35,32,14,4,1,8,0,2,1,0,3,2,0,1,1,17,13,1,1,6,3,1,4,4,8,0,0,3,2,25,3,34,26,7,38,0,1,0,0,5,12,0,3,21,140,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.11517088979547792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028528613325004,0.0,0.0,0.08252261068777791,0.12092585105048273,0.09712073661944504,0.10506318146587433,0.0,0.13426524769126166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388828587942276,0.0,0.20085334262417304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174980271454054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275381293617511,0.0,0.0,0.1305873324001314,0.0,0.07611339708772605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233062029667528,0.0,0.0,0.1032804509909012,0.0,0.0,0.11561506522290235,0.0,0.0,0.09859090361388606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795136385943002,0.2135124246857711,0.09943728066866676,0.0,0.0,0.11544660159175105,0.0,0.0,0.05967466245100893,0.08431380030126381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707371545567832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985474715540114,0.07910658913362249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622632468071477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620238134995317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672260344824516,0.057658808023330226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557020769460303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840552121302231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22150830873331184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384256097906984,0.12568787864285652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847151534504334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156742948086837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560689297909172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312102081475508,0.0,0.0,0.09762769789619352,0.0,0.23621127413458845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167251974712262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867034246732044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123283419055092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268681285591077,0.0,0.09369501788237544,0.20645594025198327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012810735022192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737919351448893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176556647390925,0.0,0.11376745802579118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027287458679738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200254163413768
mentalhealth,YourUsername22,2019/02/25,"Are my paranoid thoughts just part of my anxiety? I am prescribed lexapro for anxiety. Is it normal have questioning thoughts about whether life is real ect... 

Sometimes things cross my mind like “what if none of this is real” “what if someone can read my mind” “what if my friend is stalking me” “what if I’m being manipulated” “what if this is a set up and people are paid to be my friends and family” “what if I’m actually being recorded” “what if someone hid a camera in my room” “what if someone’s watching me through the window” 

the fear of someone’s setting up a camera in my room is most common.  Is this part of my anxiety or something else? Is this just normal intrusive thinking? I dont visit a psychiatrist or therapist by the way, my actual doctor prescribed me the lexapro. I’ve found these thoughts are more common when i forget to take a dose. Now I’m freaking out thinking what if this is more serious than i thought?? Hopefully I’m just overthinking. Insights appreciated thank you!!",4.507460317460319,6.365933502645505,5.369502645502648,79.0079047619048,71.11640211640211,8.214603174603175,33.234920634920634,8.841846274778883,2.9869580952380947,788,39,142,15,15,257,100,189,0.121,0.79,0.08800000000000001,0.3792,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,1,9,0,19,3,0,1,0,37,34,15,0,12,15,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,3,0,17,3,0,0,9,1,1,2,2,3,0,0,6,1,18,5,16,25,6,16,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,14,5,104,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.2352870862114463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766709791829686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339236774128635,0.0,0.0,0.14128866546263918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070759407806372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364780361232042,0.13565703033574286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218149612653485,0.1862798056732882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973755667897215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851510213227168,0.05889670974291284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434508222010089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362351082302218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610969769462605,0.0,0.08357712728643829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504833322165613,0.0,0.1205868585888604,0.2744342239958801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.408580848072656,0.09280853977366227,0.11923122088069008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064178148574853,0.0,0.0,0.11099014252438508,0.0,0.13997275843666535,0.08009087689811628,0.1544925719155471,0.0,0.3828263858900752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569034032650414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,surjssnfg,2019/02/25,"I am starting to think I may have some form of PTSD I am starting to think I have mild PTSD, I as bullied a lot in middle school by one person in my friend group, he stopped bullying me later because I became bigger than him and he started to act friendly, I never forgave him in my own mind though. 

He would hit me if he considered me annoying him, he would take my stuff, he would manipulate others to hit me, he would tell me that i was worthless and that i will not get any more friends if I leave the group. I’m in 11th grade now and lately for the past month i have felt an extreme amount of hyper vigilance, paranoia, and sleep deprivation. I keep reliving the bullying in my head and it’s worse because I have to see him every day and I always think about how nice it would be to punch him in the face. I do not think I can move on and I am becoming more stressed. You may think spring break is a break from the stress for me, but that’s incorrect because my parents are making me go on a school trip to Europe, which would usually be cool. 

Except the problem is he is going, I am going to be spending the only two week break away from him with him. Every time I see him I relive all the shit he did to me and i can’t let go. I do not mean to disrespect anyone with PTSD by saying I think I may have it, but it’s all I can think of, I can’t sleep and my ability to preform in every aspect of my life is being dampened, my grades have dropped from b+ standard to c and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m reliving the hell i went through every moment. I’m sorry if this was incoherent I am very tired but i can’t sleep so I’m writing this Instead.",3.4558216654384672,3.7366537740113017,4.879275362318843,87.49418201915995,71.99435028248588,7.851436993367723,26.69073937607468,7.7425588080867325,1.2865899287644311,1292,40,292,15,23,434,169,354,0.116,0.81,0.07400000000000001,-0.8552,2,0,0,0,2,0,26.0,0,1,0,0,6,14,3,2,13,1,43,8,6,3,3,56,74,20,0,10,10,1,2,1,3,10,2,1,0,1,13,12,0,2,11,0,1,8,8,8,0,2,5,6,56,6,41,52,9,40,1,2,2,0,28,12,2,8,17,201,69,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068622481155082,0.0,0.0,0.05776974635564368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939987199554336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981447266176456,0.0,0.0,0.15535643549680586,0.09382195414625084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05478651252639654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863002851740133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04295389204757884,0.0606891723809051,0.08156649848971455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968993179788832,0.0,0.0443835090251429,0.0,0.1931189563261294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718446566235229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550855238501973,0.0,0.0,0.04668697179881539,0.0,0.09582868243626456,0.08995108168194453,0.0,0.08686838356604305,0.060003562787527234,0.041502877665365416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222249392800505,0.0,0.0,0.05670560259390511,0.0,0.0,0.09253678873686784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577652075510826,0.0,0.06780725761118367,0.09028970841251173,0.0,0.0,0.0655196220849874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05756514886809495,0.06460923494539253,0.0,0.0,0.0943282824775788,0.0,0.08109555705054422,0.0,0.0741761332746502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128684976887669,0.2979103092568103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755662410954685,0.0,0.17195035081495594,0.1353902559009492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720121206401397,0.0,0.0,0.25503772839757266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509594174640344,0.1803867436828194,0.0,0.0,0.07102302827633772,0.19462268329029025,0.0,0.09724882865008792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638727491704489,0.0,0.07425111535328925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810332052745207,0.08346414760856026,0.0,0.04953574267496138,0.0976389367367789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298500329410402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356177293021994,0.07009365774520482,0.0,0.0,0.06814274881572101,0.0,0.0,0.07875063701116695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657255624184829,0.3620814788137513,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Upbeat_Dimension,2019/02/25,"My mental health is bad, I'm lonesome and have had an eyelid twitch for two months. (possible ADHD, or anxiety) I put paragraph tl:drs because I tend to ramble. I actually cut a long paragraph because it didn't really matter. Reading this back again I feel like I skip around a lot, so feel free to only read the tl:drs.

>You met me at a very strange time in my life

My problem currently is motivation, an awful desire to isolate myself and dissociation. I've posted about depression before. I'm not sure I have it... I think anxiety or ADHD is more of a contributing factor to my behavior. 

I get overwhelmed when I can't solve a problem in math for example, and unless I know how to do a problem I usually end up googling the answer. I figure I might have ADHD because my twin sister has it, I always like to fidget with something (like a fidget cube) and I find it tough to focus. It has gotten to a point if I came across a post on Reddit this size I would definitely skip it, and in a class where a lot of pages of reading are assigned I can never focus to read it. In fact, last semester I had to read a few (fiction) books and I don't think I fully read any. Then again, this might just because those classes were/are boring. If I see I have to read 70+ pages, I won't. I also don't want to medicate if I don't have to. When I speak sometimes I lack coherence, but that could be attributed to mild anxiety as well.

paragraph TL:DR: I find focusing on reading hard and problems I don't understand are overwhelming sometimes.

I took an ADHD test online and was tested for it when I was a kid (came up negative then). The online test gave me a ""severe"" rating, but I took it when I was worked up, and who can really trust online tests. I also experience mood swings throughout the day, which I've read is part of ADHD. In terms of anxiety, I guess I have experienced things that resemble ""anxiety attacks"", but never at the level described on r/anxiety. Mostly just my mind racing and the desire to run away or hide away. Not super heavy breathing... at least not that I've noticed. Also, I have an eyelid twitch that is caused probably by stress. I've found caffeine to temper overwhelming feelings, although I don't drink coffee that often and am trying to avoid getting a tolerance.

tl:dr: took an adhd test, scored severe, have maybe had mild anxiety attacks.

TL:DR of the TL:DRs; I think I might have mild anxiety disorder or ADHD. I should probably just go to a campus psychologist... I'd love any suggestions in the meantime, though.",3.6920589590050654,5.239355119760481,5.3417564870259495,79.64525564256104,72.65269461077844,8.252233993551357,27.417012129586983,8.841846274778883,2.234453769384308,1989,73,373,39,39,676,238,501,0.158,0.774,0.069,-0.986,1,1,2,0,0,0,83.0,0,0,0,3,21,27,4,5,29,1,43,8,1,4,4,75,70,36,0,14,17,1,4,3,0,6,5,1,0,1,21,15,1,1,14,11,1,8,14,17,1,1,16,7,51,10,51,46,11,52,0,4,1,1,8,22,0,15,23,253,72,22,0.0,0.0,0.05358028641713475,0.0,0.4619039700500511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317248038941359,0.0456861483938987,0.0,0.0,0.07467585690756938,0.0,0.3360232085634154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04887793577729204,0.0,0.12492688803464995,0.10317189386552966,0.042219286010552234,0.04584417439539872,0.13388062874535064,0.0,0.046720918995906906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559555819379672,0.0,0.056403534659071414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04383793292453369,0.0,0.0,0.035409795160769836,0.0,0.04729041383537205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292697493608641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053786927580219586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04863037429286902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05370855422021529,0.0,0.0,0.0832862933936394,0.03922482128149882,0.0,0.0,0.10036608624493397,0.0,0.0,0.06020153962160446,0.0,0.0,0.057372184890917326,0.0,0.03120431639938368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060485093507182563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491849461093568,0.0,0.0,0.058362456782653074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030174873921317395,0.044755677028235484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03878169588179261,0.08047282053251764,0.0,0.0,0.04859003750313006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335814959050136,0.04955476307994475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05516040611703927,0.0,0.0,0.05531196770543514,0.055332283061887935,0.17473960705915997,0.055439357051217664,0.0,0.04382540504414708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469370617166573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251078740076353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04175844873878628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059457792744547565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05190386943283929,0.06189820827176142,0.10516944439719632,0.0,0.11839580005274555,0.2101503137797563,0.0,0.055195644355584425,0.0,0.0,0.4942872703157655,0.0,0.0703483143722043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04375293304083711,0.0,0.0,0.12405618911760365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042269282374129316,0.10860677596068162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289457962512364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174820760265922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03647707311691623,0.1055445462712195,0.05394481659447516,0.0,0.032016100685581576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830075903830249,0.037277535577886815,0.0,0.05363513449855477,0.057159029774281216,0.0,0.0,0.06047114630158874,0.045303158539813336,0.03238495156926769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049367042524812464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039972185150444636,0.0,0.0,0.03900361118418881,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the213odd_one,2019/02/25,"I can still see the blood I do volunteer work for an aquarium. And today we had two dieing was urchins I even made sure with my supervisors that they had a 0% chance of surviveing. Normally we would toss them away in a bin and that's that. But today i was told that I could be merciful and end their suffering by putting them down (im not going to say how i was told to do so but know sea urchins do not have a brain so they can't feel pain) so I thought instead of putting them in a bin where they will suffer more i decided to end their suffering. And when I put down the first one i thought little of it because nothing spat out of the rag. Then when I put down the second one...i saw the insides come out...I felt disgusted. I tried to work through it reminding myself that this was the merciful thing to do...I wish I had tossed them in the bin, the tags were covered with their remainds and I tried my best to hose off everything...I just want to forget that. It was my first and I plan to keep It being the only time I ever do it. I need help to forget it.",1.7487546992481209,3.266513866071428,3.17843045112782,93.27314849624064,77.75,7.037218045112783,23.396616541353374,7.85451343220497,0.9071821428571428,822,26,193,13,19,269,119,224,0.091,0.83,0.079,-0.5789,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,10,7,12,7,1,0,14,0,21,4,3,2,2,36,37,15,1,6,5,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,14,12,0,1,6,0,0,6,3,5,0,5,16,5,33,2,27,16,2,29,0,3,2,0,16,11,0,0,12,139,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192865589374682,0.0,0.0,0.07739588231380375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324055156814782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173345889055006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936797019418423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137016921129324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176825727775268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249042754530879,0.0,0.0,0.08385831475566598,0.11484591947507547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419665261763667,0.0,0.1219050456005498,0.0,0.0,0.2159904866601876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215638654709458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510107998593991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714256399319524,0.0,0.0,0.11285115448333312,0.0,0.0,0.06977591942118062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272509642503479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013610607363714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094141961696389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243974517407548,0.12182507742465795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206775398486548,0.09656160161426927,0.13509830960383507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5105342733822775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100966616137531,0.0,0.0,0.10117361677329176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139336071405844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196617680421458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434902896904434,0.0,0.0,0.20158996357746195,0.07403354418125152,0.0,0.24069345074941265,0.2426384787499321,0.0,0.17240001237355732,0.0,0.12402506909138905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488646935355296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600196883020264,0.0,0.0,0.1848621457321516,0.0,0.0,0.09019135716091173,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KansanLesbian,2019/02/25,"Other solutions like ketamine? It's safe to say I've officially lost hope in getting better. Living is misery. Ive tried therapy and way too many antidepressants. I do have an interest in ketamine if that ever gets approved but that still may not work.. 


What other outside the box treatments could I try for MDD?",3.786264367816091,6.584004982758621,4.862758620689653,77.4164367816092,76.75862068965517,7.314942528735633,28.63218390804597,8.344100000000001,2.5576459770114943,251,11,41,5,6,82,51,58,0.065,0.7190000000000001,0.21600000000000005,0.7359,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,9,10,3,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,5,4,7,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,3,3,27,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24402082722568874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22029245478884915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24957726440125486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883041832281908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27404184419236466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479616089113602,0.0,0.2436344373675873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30118941167746216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27973041297278284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21941547393789124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203428533737005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155282348090092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3746508684644465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21900528173275646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008664688917811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loisurcarison,2019/02/25,I have poor hygiene Hey why is it so fucking hard to brush my teeth. ,-1.0380000000000005,1.0296988666666709,0.7083333333333357,103.34250000000002,93.66666666666666,3.0,20.833333333333336,3.1291,-0.7256666666666667,53,2,13,0,2,17,15,15,0.297,0.703,0.0,-0.6214,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5880731299510331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5698293101231355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5739900270511559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cecesium,2019/02/25,"How do I help someone who is currently catatonic? Google has exactly 0 answers for this specific question and only gives general facts and diagnostic criteria + treatment info so I thought I’d ask; this might be a stupid question but I’m doing my best :/

My friend occasionally goes into a retarded, partially mute catatonic state (associated with her depression) and whenever this happens I don’t know what to do — sometimes talking to her helps, sometimes she just replies “I don’t know” to everything, sometimes touch helps, but she can’t respond most of the time so it’s always just a guess.

I usually try and get her water and try and talk her out of her negative thought spirals if she’s not responding negatively to sound but I feel as though I’m not doing enough (and I just feel really lost because usually I rely on personal experience to give advice and guide my behavior with helping friends with mental health issues but I’ve never experienced catatonia before and have no idea how to help).

Is there any way I can be more helpful? Does anyone have experience either as a friend or as the person experiencing it? Does anything help you/your friend come out of it? is it something that even can be “come out of”? (I mean for her it is; she tends to come back to life after some care but I’m not super informed on how catatonia generally works.)

Thank you so much in advance",5.4658360323886654,7.0716449884615376,6.493765182186233,72.87860323886642,68.34615384615384,10.089068825910932,33.68421052631579,10.307518312809881,3.8123461538461534,1107,52,193,30,19,369,152,260,0.087,0.7390000000000001,0.174,0.98,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,5,13,11,1,0,6,0,20,3,0,3,3,58,43,26,0,1,14,0,3,0,4,1,2,1,0,2,11,19,1,0,13,0,0,4,10,3,0,0,3,6,24,8,28,36,7,20,0,2,0,0,35,7,0,8,7,132,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390911984489632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799640156390021,0.0,0.0,0.0653522084870064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719629327877444,0.0,0.07908321667163881,0.0,0.08984178269070292,0.0,0.0,0.07389600054939549,0.0,0.05858248652551312,0.0,0.08177516443378241,0.0,0.10085243017509753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798172369471717,0.0,0.0,0.2483483920079612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827719456431917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681978652131167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929837651052448,0.0,0.06347403049567485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636969016252435,0.1880111071121524,0.0,0.0,0.09718345277614338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29699063590108715,0.0,0.050208985120681705,0.1843783295215736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586646353801132,0.0,0.0849820999642598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215123338175536,0.0,0.0,0.4509029299463962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848671840526898,0.0,0.10030483385928092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562956935417124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787922039873336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490596785722868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468253526716514,0.0,0.0,0.09684755015796856,0.10194833782849454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064554444189709,0.0,0.07411927994504101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308940161072353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167823971276666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21531099528429945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06156498094494254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142635580351583,0.07398350869222473,0.285140055686376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448523800566638,0.0,0.08847720472954143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441908126314696,0.15258746294890507,0.056037465751076806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049300686208373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21168410376281144,0.0,0.0,0.07628077268075845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996292204229909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,malinka2986,2019/02/25,"Looking for advice I guess: People who were cheated on in a relationship, how did you learn to trust again? I’m so embarrassed to talk about this that I will probably delete the post soon. For reference, I’m female in her late 20s. I was cheated on in one of my previous relationships and even though it’s been about 5 years since our break-up and I dated/was seeing some great men after that, I feel that being cheated on has really messed up with my mental health. One particular experience leading to me discovering that he was cheating has affected me *more than the fact he was cheating*. At that point we lived together and one day he said he’s going on a road trip with his guy friends. I didn’t mind; I couldn’t go with him because of work. On one of the days he was gone, I suddenly got a gut feeling that something was off. It was a gut feeling out of nowhere. I called him but he didn’t answer. After some quick research, I started suspecting that he went on that road trip with a group of guys and girls, and he might have an affair with one of the girls. I quickly found her contact info and even though I didn’t know her at all I texted her. Before you call me crazy, hear me out to see how this ends. I didn’t expect her to reply but she did. I was direct and asked if she had an affair with my then-bf. She said of course no, my bf is a great guy, she is sure that my then-bf loves me, and I’m just a crazy gf who doesn’t appreciate her bf. The convo went on in that tone and ended on a friendly note. Then my then-bf returned home and life went on for some time, until it all exploded. I’ll skip a lot of detail leading to this “explosion”, but basically when we were breaking up he admitted to me that instead of going on his road trip, he went to spend time with the girl I texted. When I texted that girl, he was actually in bed with her, she handed him her phone, and he texted me on her behalf during that convo I had with “her”. I was shocked by that level of manipulation. This experience of having been manipulated like that has left the deepest scar that just can’t heal and it’s making me act in crazy ways because I suspect I’m being manipulated all the time even when there’s no objective reason to believe that. For example, when the guy I had a fling with, who’s also in my social circle so to speak, says “I’m not going to that party”, my first thought is that he’s lying; to prove/disprove to myself he’s lying, I show up at the party unannounced to see if he is there flirting with other girls. When he is not around, my first thought is, “Oh he must be fucking that coworker he said hi to earlier that day; I know where her office is and I’m gonna make up an excuse (like, say, I want to use her printer because mine isn’t working) to enter that office unannounced right now just to confirm or reject my suspicion because I want to know the truth and what kind of person he is.” I have such thoughts on a regular basis and, what’s worse, I act on them. I try really hard to be subtle, however. I never ask any direct questions because I’d never want any guy to know I’m like this and because that would be like missing the point but it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I’m generally a happy person and have never had any diagnosed mental health issues but this habit of thinking has been bringing so much negativity into my life. And by the way, every single time I had a thought like that and acted on it, I found out I was wrong. Also, I noticed that it’s been getting worse over time. Right after that break-up 5 years ago, when I was dating/seeing other men, this issue wasn’t that bad because I genuinely felt like I could trust them for the most part. But now I feel like I can’t trust any man. How can I fight these ugly thoughts? ",5.097505727376864,4.835965136597938,6.037395189003438,82.49168270332189,68.38144329896907,8.753447880870564,28.198052691867126,8.238735603445708,1.6887221420389462,2950,85,626,36,45,980,306,776,0.121,0.774,0.104,-0.9406,1,0,1,0,1,0,82.0,3,2,2,6,36,34,7,1,31,0,61,12,3,13,10,115,122,46,0,10,14,0,7,7,5,5,7,7,2,15,49,37,0,0,26,1,1,19,18,14,0,7,46,18,90,20,95,64,12,108,0,2,4,2,97,46,1,11,46,415,139,6,0.0,0.0,0.057341153527736125,0.0,0.0,0.05741946151909245,0.052087076317828385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398048808101782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983489682812985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05230873903332164,0.1098650864268715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049062034157365056,0.2507362847623457,0.0,0.0500003185545585,0.06620224779858581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000078696298433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691497209616274,0.0,0.0,0.11368575850222028,0.0,0.0,0.059640027649867026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408760179926613,0.0,0.0,0.1164310130111238,0.0,0.04950772184992259,0.0,0.0,0.11495684921569313,0.0,0.0,0.11884301623077285,0.04197806039501035,0.0564186866533719,0.0,0.0,0.09996222491823972,0.0,0.12885432150077375,0.09079545425310497,0.0543225497698417,0.030699605041675293,0.0,0.1335783450991711,0.0,0.04699563308582742,0.12956592059580907,0.06473061763674501,0.2909075304248277,0.0,0.06255097056421458,0.05263729880339215,0.0,0.0,0.1873769711816857,0.06622664012453673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058940937123565136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266006874464284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611893587866984,0.12917154378249168,0.0,0.06628368885368853,0.0,0.06384276692180538,0.0,0.08300766294196904,0.20094971900228392,0.0,0.05188603868307905,0.0,0.049343488840768265,0.0,0.0,0.049955537257284466,0.053033073688254745,0.0,0.07844533438295352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764837500442415,0.0623349326513448,0.05933071464762151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043195262901799,0.0,0.13595769451325826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689849751046806,0.0,0.0,0.1990860314148028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363120935268297,0.0,0.04073669289977089,0.10261369797329124,0.0,0.0,0.11109413349011972,0.0,0.05627570941537373,0.0,0.06335307444057031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582449834895468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528615027231365,0.06041492924227744,0.0,0.1261722127897336,0.0,0.10036120992876438,0.16768226685299215,0.09345640863759216,0.0,0.0,0.1404720178939403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486067688073456,0.0,0.0,0.05989828413027803,0.0,0.045236216007741775,0.0,0.0,0.0415905359704611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055380478816931325,0.0,0.0441801068804172,0.04722895493848185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037650949857668974,0.11546254106548252,0.2332438524490857,0.17131675356109116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03989409227987402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050749658482767315,0.0,0.0,0.10397427509800433,0.09328169402127537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178839398798868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555576533154745,0.0,0.11976264799465824,0.04174132328515268,0.06424468978013315,0.0,0.07567885506421967
mentalhealth,bellxxaaa,2019/02/25,"Today marks 16 days without buying food to binge/purge on from Uber Eats/SkipTheDishes I am an underweight bulimic. I was spending $500+ a month on food that mostly went down the toilet .... somehow I’ve managed to get in slight control of my eating disorder and significantly decrease how much money I spend on food, the severity of my binges, and how much I binge/purge. 

I’ve had this eating disorder for 5 years and I’m so happy with the progress I’ve started to make

Just wanted to share. ",5.8515625,6.420631031250004,6.260416666666668,78.67625000000002,66.8125,8.9,31.625,8.841846274778883,2.5495750000000004,393,15,73,6,6,127,68,96,0.059,0.836,0.106,0.6532,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,5,0,3,5,0,4,0,13,9,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,5,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,6,2,15,6,3,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,5,42,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191902077029094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103544428922383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922231817742423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501848996359607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6207355710504135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940005826639218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18215414841555244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421999493222075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365816474287787,0.0,0.2515771141036299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19331023485522006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111544542811478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621961652860275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092753353394307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586244912119397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649478926191149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019187450604867
mentalhealth,murfvegannaise,2019/02/26,"low point I’ve reached one of the lowest points of my life. I’m lonely to the point that it’s so painful how alone I feel. I feel like I used to be good at things and now I’m not good at them anymore. No one has told me I’m good at anything for a long time. I’m just feeling like there’s nothing/no one for me to live for and I’m just at a really, really low point.

I just need to hear something good.",-1.5027272727272738,0.2991285806451636,0.9029716520039096,103.64718475073313,91.1505376344086,4.242033235581624,15.981427174975565,5.565023196281405,-1.0225827956989249,310,7,84,2,11,104,52,93,0.175,0.63,0.195,0.2488,1,3,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,7,10,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,2,0,12,14,4,0,1,4,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,1,4,8,6,13,12,0,13,0,3,0,0,3,10,0,0,5,44,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15042352706392834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403779765141486,0.0,0.0,0.11951910321819173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22031120405129526,0.20751716166261375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4872774382313377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369460922888174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025864132827575,0.14191261861163765,0.0,0.128248463317626,0.12853170949290574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769268119848124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29525257558673096,0.0,0.15454425342803946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5491901970291472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860873045348299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118118734161342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649016148038453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468987397158742,0.0,0.0,0.13878183472940728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543963423501414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ilovemydogaxel,2019/02/26,"I have social anxiety Hello everyone. I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, before school I always got sick or threw up because I was so afraid of talking to people. I’ve always been so extremely shy, I never really made many friends. Anyways, my passion has always been to become a veterinarian. Once I got into college, I made it a mission to finally make friends and also form connections with my professors. This was especially important because for veterinary school you need letters of recommendations, and so that was always at the back of my mind. A few months ago I graduated undergrad, and low and behold I never made any connections since I’m a loser and I’m scared of talking to people. Now, I am at another university taking more classes that will make me look like a better candidate for veterinary school. It’s almost halfway through the semester and my professors have no idea who I am, because I’m so afraid to talk to them or even make friends. Why am I such a fucking loser? What’s the point of even wanting to become a veterinarian If I have this major problem getting in the way. I feel like giving up, what’s the point to all of this. I’m sick of feeling scared all the time. I just wish I had confidence in myself. I might as well just throw all my dreams away at this point ",4.100531561461793,5.994036627906978,5.62080841638981,76.64639534883723,72.25581395348838,8.790254706533776,30.11517165005537,9.362217197678863,2.9458380952380963,1062,46,191,25,21,359,134,258,0.12,0.7390000000000001,0.141,0.6821,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,3,15,17,1,4,13,0,18,4,0,6,5,35,41,18,0,5,5,0,2,2,3,2,2,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,9,1,0,14,3,27,8,32,25,7,26,0,3,1,2,14,13,1,5,12,134,38,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493421029134719,0.0,0.09594487520364987,0.0,0.0,0.0766232154138442,0.31890299955606705,0.0,0.0,0.06515748098559311,0.1004703745924567,0.14659641502198442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002134011145807,0.07367581543423936,0.0,0.17522379152498646,0.2116402642892447,0.08153150207230281,0.0,0.0,0.08474057512807065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265697986602301,0.0,0.0,0.0915553320266564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968938789212433,0.06845025025895576,0.0,0.10496064160800443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22207927811045328,0.08857941723510944,0.050059379308615065,0.0919144721968038,0.0,0.0,0.15326400579409882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816346463771212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362073171243074,0.0,0.0,0.08479325382548203,0.08046046263257195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271987389715644,0.1918717558517384,0.09714136430741062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164456622600114,0.09674582930837636,0.0,0.07647861341275032,0.0,0.0,0.07104560336150786,0.14779685906544596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203984065336727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328521040501903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717284160395994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916820083575964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06138153810205301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085397092347682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918550464297165,0.2909096651918316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792591524675944,0.0,0.0,0.1953426385220464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204095053404205,0.2310373862861201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055870493035940334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056514165447227024,0.07605348175036927,0.0,0.0,0.0861491857698224,0.0,0.08645812825896276,0.0,0.1101825135210421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway41018991,2019/02/26,Need advice about comment made from loved one I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for almost 4 years now and it's been a very rough month for me. I've stressed about school and other things so I've been on edge lately and haven't been the nicest person. So today when i was talking to loved one and we got into a fight they told me to was better off if I just told me to kill myself. What should I do now ? ,2.464691558441558,3.828287125000003,3.2583116883116894,94.09318181818183,75.47727272727273,5.9376623376623385,19.38961038961039,6.18269132825596,-0.19873896103896133,329,6,74,2,7,104,61,88,0.184,0.705,0.111,-0.7208,0,0,0,0,1,1,4.0,1,0,1,1,8,7,2,1,3,0,9,2,0,1,0,14,16,9,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,10,1,9,3,12,5,0,10,0,1,0,2,11,3,0,2,7,51,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943692136405869,0.0,0.0,0.19917621373841424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216299374890066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591671121776262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20506395605910133,0.17131795093746607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908376717180678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22006066678766847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22437529260710495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35904191913405104,0.18821022089739728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876533915107996,0.0,0.0,0.14748671307634348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26956850063843657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736775585851623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20130408400251407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278468220633349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598735792638364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214469732366751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885401858552692,0.3801275334805811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411876451440086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280893198829568
mentalhealth,Homosapian_Male,2019/02/26,"Is it normal to not seek help? This is my first time posting here and wanted to ask if it's normal to not want to seek help when having to deal with mental issues.

So far since starting my junior year of high school I had hard times with my self-esteem and always thought to my self if it was a problem, and most of the time I push it off as something normal for developing teens. Then I started to notice that I cannot sleep as I usually do, I stay up late and seek to distract myself with using my phone (like doing this post). I think I do this because I often talk to myself when I'm supposed to be asleep and have conversations with myself as well. Most of my conversations is over my mistakes I have done or something near that, and I mostly end my self talks with asking if I need help or not. I been pushing myself to not tell anyone since I figured it would be selfish of me to take away people's time for my own needs. So far I decided to talk to my school counselor about it, I dont know if i should regret that choice or not. I had to ask her multiple times too see if I do need help, I've wanted to hear her say no, but she kept telling that the thoughts I have are clear signs for help. Even still, I keep thinking that I can just push through it without needing help but afterwards I decided to try and seek some help and see what happens.",5.135271352313168,4.715656608540929,5.6209408362989315,86.04393794483988,68.32384341637011,8.163790035587189,28.23865658362989,7.1686216300943375,1.3088877224199282,1061,30,231,8,16,342,143,281,0.106,0.875,0.019,-0.9359,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,15,7,0,1,3,0,24,2,2,1,1,63,50,26,0,20,17,0,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,2,16,13,0,2,8,0,0,3,9,5,1,1,8,5,41,2,40,38,5,31,0,1,2,0,26,8,0,13,18,166,57,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369625909093436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619292990709636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24839935468933974,0.0,0.08321321547683666,0.0,0.0,0.053990661557892505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913104476002743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090636537383467,0.10380186466282733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844558557829771,0.0,0.0,0.05849879548412206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533649669961083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832101485912732,0.0,0.07934016456359627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982336946279996,0.0,0.415560160212656,0.09357770142019496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924427189542146,0.0,0.07872393602831759,0.0,0.0,0.04867504494729229,0.0,0.09990935897331707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04327019633033672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925642480219217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626902951626041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603355830366246,0.0,0.10083605964209964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140238940673413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696486767919458,0.0,0.0,0.0847482908759626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043339047967466,0.0,0.17927251933767585,0.14115558447016952,0.0,0.2771894317112987,0.0,0.0,0.14652989890244714,0.0,0.08863266999126125,0.0,0.0,0.13636903503328435,0.0,0.0,0.12537877296894656,0.09440245693329442,0.07073108360383264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659264494977618,0.21356451464095694,0.1548259070124417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135025020505292,0.0,0.14062731984692992,0.2582256257261077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601323380674033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649492559655409,0.09754591757099923,0.0,0.15672035389712424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963390402478368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537707270652316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291666810100185,0.0,0.0,0.05703534329532117
mentalhealth,sarah_caughill,2019/02/26,"So I've started cutting... At first it was curiosity, what and why people did it. Needless to say I didnt like it and didnt plan on continuing. As a background, I'm super depressed an kind of thinking of just ending it, but cant do anything about it cause my parents and friends wont help/cant help. a month after the first time I did it, I tried it again for no reason, again just curious. Then I got it. I did it very rarely, maybe 1 time every 2 weeks and only ever on my upper thighs so no one could see. It picked up to at least once a week, and one day I tried it on my wrist and it felt so much better. No one noticed until my entire arm was covered and even then my mom bought my lame excuse that I got them at work. Now I dont know what to do or how to stop. At first it was curiosity, now its release of whatever anger or anxiety I have and I cant begin to think about stopping. Wtf am i doing and what should I do now",1.1593942923704148,2.4924130990099016,3.29758299359348,92.58431275480491,78.9009900990099,5.9410599883517765,21.28829353523588,6.522977012572876,0.17064030285381504,714,19,169,6,17,244,114,202,0.172,0.7559999999999999,0.073,-0.9629,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,7,15,9,2,0,5,0,20,3,3,4,1,27,31,20,0,2,5,2,1,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,18,9,0,2,5,0,1,0,9,4,0,6,12,3,19,5,22,16,2,34,0,2,1,0,7,9,0,2,26,122,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764087636210498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579030925616368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124444377017629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454539438699535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234351432030787,0.0,0.0,0.09074471728790874,0.0,0.12119119058540598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490817882680514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462510858296764,0.0,0.0,0.09293599742339677,0.1272780177794128,0.11855216384254255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510129599958706,0.0,0.0,0.35905726290021484,0.0,0.0,0.10871028969381882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22507333342318747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886265845753171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652524126015973,0.07732917941931143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874259241384785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135962763553406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479496013987652,0.11231140910877706,0.0,0.1034362255706133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019645706426974,0.0,0.14984892870853395,0.2860411943809066,0.1070144181286025,0.0,0.0,0.15623906196908796,0.0,0.0,0.09754888551925013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467077705126294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189627652960522,0.0,0.0,0.11212568503379178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959351491906657,0.0,0.0,0.2352755933775556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031940915741027,0.0,0.0,0.16409538615987615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19106235502615967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609844946234625,0.0,0.0,0.22573418862988515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269666614020047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243675865359572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FlourishedSoul,2019/02/26,"Going to my first therapist on Thursday. What general questions should be asked during a first meeting? I’m hoping to divulge a lot of info to my therapist on the first session, but I’m wondering if there are any integral questions I should have ready when we meet; things that might not be so obvious to ask. I have some things written down, but not many questions. ",7.1954347826086975,7.452054304347832,7.041847826086958,75.30016304347829,63.92753623188406,10.378260869565215,37.53985507246377,10.125756701596842,3.906446376811594,293,14,51,6,4,93,48,69,0.0,0.922,0.078,0.631,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,0,1,19,16,5,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,0,5,1,8,10,2,9,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,9,5,41,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161414132004275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3193266715146604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358154933267406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706251939133344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963060611177125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519749590069567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315180329599936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117863654432004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5739635396150619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965950953284795,0.2269273629605742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18521184877934108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MiniC-horseVsTheDark,2019/02/26,"How do I explain my anxiety to my husband? I've told him I have anxiety, and what I get anxious about, but I dont know how to explain just how it feels or how big a part of my life it is. Like driving makes me anxious, driving in the dark when it's raining on unfamiliar roads makes it hard for me to breath and all I can think of is a million ways I could get injured or die. Being home alone when hes gone at work overnight, I literally accept that I'm going to be burgled and die while hes gone. Every time I leave the house everything and everyone looks like a threat to my anxiery.",6.281786666666669,4.369819432,7.166999999999998,80.78516666666667,66.68,10.253333333333334,36.03333333333333,8.841846274778883,2.8140933333333336,459,19,103,6,6,155,80,125,0.23,0.6970000000000001,0.073,-0.9587,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,1,0,5,0,11,3,1,6,1,22,26,14,2,1,4,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,6,4,0,0,6,0,0,5,1,1,0,1,3,3,17,3,12,20,2,15,0,0,1,0,7,5,0,2,6,67,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18471084812491145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728657128115538,0.4029564578825386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239336463428226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37018633098394105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20901812250514554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502627151762762,0.17041556528790686,0.16028430433147772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017620702033027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863550103309244,0.0,0.1013571422464194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15976140978005893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889381527328188,0.0,0.0,0.2057853094450808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801333088556766,0.0,0.0,0.18884080060705188,0.0,0.0,0.12596981185993447,0.17425997551727748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976424550417314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380923317987803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931294337531541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142757885674761,0.0,0.0,0.10399396127864767,0.0,0.0,0.17041556528790686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156135746227402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983673169888288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheHowtoSocialWorker,2019/02/26,"10 Important Life Symptoms that Verify You Need Therapy 1. Overreacting to Stress
2. Persistently Depressed or Anxious
3. Strained Relationships or Frequent Fighting
4. Recurring and Intrusive Thoughts
5. Chronic Pain
6. Substance Use
7. Problems with Sleep
8. Reliving Events
9. Problems with Food
10. Can't be Alone or Isolate

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[https://www.thehowtosocialworker.com/10-important-life-symptoms-that-verify-you-need-therapy/](https://www.thehowtosocialworker.com/10-important-life-symptoms-that-verify-you-need-therapy/)",17.799776785714286,23.847059781250003,11.083482142857143,23.741875000000014,76.1875,9.328571428571427,42.07142857142857,8.418075326091056,6.286374107142858,502,24,41,12,14,135,59,64,0.29600000000000004,0.627,0.077,-0.9505,0,1,0,0,2,0,46.0,0,1,0,1,1,8,1,2,1,0,2,6,1,1,0,12,5,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,3,1,6,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,3,3,17,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619601972629413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030982190336655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154842719184676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21738853966286345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809480246356998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999098209741099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912967035245979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34404695776664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982687254899496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301453031618154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990805569081414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20593534590401294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868584085190522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111841293892202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272382685281773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527066188625946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Focalizar,2019/02/26,"just need someone to hear me I've been procreastinaning.. but to a level that it can really affect my life. I'm about to finish (supposedly) my thesis by the end of March and I literaly haven't done anything in about a month. I am always making excuses, and when night comes I can't sleep because I feel guilty and anxious. I am thinking of maybe get some help, but I feel terrible. How do I tell my family/friends/teachers why I haven't work, I feel like an impostor, masking my lazziness as a mental problem, I think I reach a breaking point and don't know what to do",4.1060217391304334,5.0468047652173915,5.71538043478261,79.68959239130437,70.91304347826087,8.880434782608695,29.15760869565217,9.188382445141503,2.4010217391304343,448,17,90,9,8,153,79,115,0.156,0.8,0.044,-0.9164,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,6,0,11,2,1,3,0,20,23,9,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,4,16,1,11,21,1,11,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,7,57,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105614930418192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23224297466321986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917197579858348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531755042115156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770859858370558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21037617461627156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207979569733604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31183702585085704,0.14686392093525605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740525705947347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23169970092790945,0.0,0.1377936210972093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297948984924835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520478950926907,0.10043431315516857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372239364819153,0.0,0.2065292653494002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071727997547629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640892325593599,0.0,0.0,0.1524323992302264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19291965623700966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19433627809067452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19670898463740594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169759532800054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20572500447473185,0.0,0.17418433484508605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968295672509574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634502914618346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18550085156442844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966216920185801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brokedepressedgirl,2019/02/26,"Struggling I usually am able to hold myself together but lately I've been struggling. I do take antidepressants and mood stabilizers daily, plus a PRN for ativan. I also see a therapist weekly.
However, theres days where I just cry uncontrollably and cant get out of bed. Theres also days lately where I cant even find the ambition to put a plate in the dishwasher. 
I thought I'd had come a long way from where I was (I'm four months post suicide attempt) but as each day passes, the further I feel from recovery. 
Does anyone else ever feel this way? ",3.671666666666667,5.5796517222222235,5.151111111111113,79.50500000000002,73.44444444444444,8.503703703703705,26.814814814814817,9.150863307647796,2.3617703703703703,438,16,82,10,9,147,77,108,0.18600000000000005,0.8140000000000001,0.0,-0.965,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,1,10,4,0,3,7,0,7,0,0,0,1,15,15,8,1,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,3,0,1,4,3,9,0,10,11,1,22,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,10,50,10,0,0.16395823427999892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622346814344733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146434096274049,0.1679945867075711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412355009779953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18010042147101732,0.3172184915529045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348095571347014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696606607983555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829286741500396,0.14830960969232038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580441929138753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498548557780591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566141028473667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36990405957169215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450978778730564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308698983494971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702666619817468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16482331101957548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306534849770067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34280949123743354,0.0,0.17934369680406154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232761873245393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036814707888186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016452370582934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057683121455573,0.0,0.0,0.2602848294876852,0.1315174057311805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HolyHorden,2019/02/26,"What is wrong with me? Most days, I have a semi constant feeling of complete disconnect from my body. I look at something, but it’s like I’m looking through my peripheral vision. It feels also like my eyes are pushed far back into my body, everything is farther away. Everything seems coated in a fuzzy ness, making it hard to read write, comprehend much of anything of stay focused during lectures. I have crippling social anxiety if that has anything to do with it. ",5.14111295681063,7.293073476744188,5.392126245847177,78.28593023255816,70.04651162790698,7.70498338870432,33.21594684385382,8.418075326091056,2.9244039867109644,373,18,61,6,7,118,66,86,0.063,0.7859999999999999,0.151,0.8381,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,7,3,3,1,0,11,14,3,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,6,8,2,13,14,2,11,0,0,3,0,2,6,0,3,5,42,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944196881773333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295704483414726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30756049172265315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557298044994885,0.14369351185900964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151467126932552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959323894477641,0.2019429173688636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051738202269592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358981272425362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18897682581148165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740116437031066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18259304825172604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138518759061292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473892670836025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737287948706148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18692319303532368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012181721540648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904931053670645,0.0,0.1438636746860356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918135155094616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20431587711166166,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kcjennifer,2019/02/26,"3 Years Today 3 years ago today I was on top of the biggest bridge in my city ready to jump. A man stopped and introduced himself and talked with me for a bit until police arrive and they took me down. 

I was battling depression and anxiety for 6 years prior to this. I was constantly bullied at school and even though I had a lot of friends I felt like I was acting happy all the time just so no one worried. 

When I was starting college I was doing well, I was somewhat happy, had good grades, but it got overwhelming and I realized that the program I was in might not have been for me.  

I ended up dropping out and as soon as this happened I was kicked out of the house. I slept in my car for a few days and then started staying in a guy's room that I met only a week prior. I stopped working because I didn't care anymore, I took out numerous payday loans to buy stupid things I thought I needed but never did. 

After the guy decided that he wanted to have a second girlfriend openly, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I thought that no one wanted me and that I wasn't important. So I drove to the park by the bay, parked my car and made my walk up the 900m long bridge to the top. I remember feeling a bit happy walking up there like I knew it was good for me. 

After I was rescued I spent 3 days in the hospital. That was horrible, the nurses were rude and made fun of you and I wasn't allowed to go outside like the rest of the residents were. I ended up having an anxiety attack and when I get anxious I scratch my right forearm and this time my attack was so bad that I ripped through the skin (from wrist to elbow) and when the nurses saw that they didn't treat it, all they said was too bad, it was my fault.

After that I attempted suicide once more in March of 2016, I took 14 clonazepam and wouldn't let my mom into my apartment so she had to call the police and they came and took me to the hospital, I stayed there overnight and left the next day with no further help.

In April 2016 I was unable to afford my apartment that I had started renting in January so I moved in with my dad and step mom and had 2 months to find a job or else I was out. I worked at a coffee shop for a few days but left due to the other workers ignoring me and making me feel awkward.

I met a guy online that let me move in only 2 weeks after meeting (July 2016) and that was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. For a year and 3 months I was constantly abused, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. I was getting social assistance at that time and every time the pay would come in it would go to him for his drinking and drug habits. He would be so bad that sometimes I would find him passed out in the shower covered in puke and not responsive. He continuously would hit me and drag me around by my hair and always the next day he would apologize and make me feel better. 

In July of 2017 I tried to leave, I took my 2 rats and my clothes and moved in with my dad because I couldn't take it anymore but 3 days later I moved back in because he was going to change. We moved to a bigger city and rented a bachelor apartment and it was fine for about a week then he went back to drinking and since we were in a bigger city, drugs were easier to find. He would get drunk and high and beat me up, wake my up by kicking me and making me sleep on the floor with no blanket or pillow. He smashed my head off the hardwood floor multiple times and kicked me in the ribs. In October of 2017 I finally had enough. I ran outside after he slapped me across the face and called the police. He was arrested and I never saw him again. 

I have a no contact order against him and for the first while it was hard to cope with everything that happened. 

It took a lot to readjust to a normal life and get back on my feet.

3 YEARS LATER:

\- I am in an amazing relationship (1 year) with an amazing guy who tells me I'm beautiful everyday and makes me feel so happy.

\- I have a full time job which I love, I work with amazing people

\- I live on my own in a fairly sized 1 bedroom apartment with my cat and 2 rats.

\- I started paying off debt last October and currently have around $5500 left to pay.

\- I'm thinking about going back to school!

​

IT DOES GET BETTER

​

I LOVE YOU",3.305534090909092,4.3440560761363685,4.455454545454547,87.60943181818182,72.89772727272727,7.3181818181818175,26.47727272727273,7.6454224807358475,1.3122613636363631,3337,112,711,40,64,1095,352,880,0.14400000000000002,0.7490000000000001,0.107,-0.9845,9,0,4,0,3,2,81.0,2,2,4,11,28,37,5,2,54,0,63,21,12,8,5,129,123,70,1,15,9,4,9,3,2,9,4,1,6,5,33,69,3,3,16,4,10,28,16,15,1,4,65,12,117,22,114,43,15,172,0,2,2,2,52,67,0,6,76,487,150,14,0.0,0.056677507074362525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04240348030780053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03980315180240112,0.1036599671512123,0.11625127347189912,0.0,0.0,0.07318839106475045,0.054040748684942734,0.14232054378012848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851678666696878,0.0,0.10884007655389934,0.0,0.1471308665005714,0.11982248647772838,0.08748063433922174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461361555935742,0.10444843569091844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769123872218173,0.05471132109226585,0.048771705509240974,0.0,0.05060384988877508,0.0412062378641296,0.0,0.10338684061562667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851004956588912,0.0,0.041200836289781495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04186136169137136,0.0,0.0,0.09372159040424374,0.11094849874271773,0.0,0.03996060664010472,0.05380874746520044,0.08473650059085096,0.04942708695150407,0.0,0.03159504248430104,0.043270148172378564,0.040303657969543376,0.0,0.042991661451636035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674871109508447,0.0,0.04592979367665852,0.05240169402001902,0.13116294677032242,0.04068903973396626,0.0,0.0,0.03695775928146639,0.0,0.12496094903644668,0.0,0.10874457017704688,0.0802446662284027,0.03825859585490715,0.0,0.0,0.18945953752505573,0.08460193996846835,0.20368805746508184,0.04285141000516245,0.0,0.04909325021701779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03206327536452195,0.05054106546102791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05519599933557329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493914357859408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03899249705654765,0.0,0.05065112146704372,0.15592095206758613,0.09783053111483772,0.06757556863969277,0.07011035082245948,0.0,0.04223981791803221,0.04233310766638705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133643852188371,0.08634721143034586,0.13578994711571885,0.12772286052107906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048207155553955175,0.05074614042532945,0.0,0.1120492362738079,0.07636403203588342,0.2542090046341301,0.0,0.03546958089986995,0.07378771382507196,0.0,0.10174766365641577,0.0,0.04686884996603606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050943481536049176,0.06482944491753886,0.07276244256146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03316326577134268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05135766219412316,0.05418854672767556,0.040851444251870636,0.04550272481592193,0.0,0.0,0.09682460669260998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03957020262322957,0.0,0.047870267254152506,0.04876249333118988,0.0,0.0,0.04731075109528924,0.0,0.1354334777596781,0.10197302740154357,0.0,0.07998560917592948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232451457861069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035966508864293235,0.03844854044930216,0.04181052848392637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031779927387658724,0.030651198410865495,0.04699835287820702,0.07595243813563836,0.16736036113904687,0.0,0.09068534019886072,0.0,0.3188834759368765,0.032477314450613484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05642949509821742,0.0,0.11511278962383414,0.0,0.04301005790002467,0.04434419249079849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447492353914273,0.04857949654324037,0.0,0.2378678654183504,0.0,0.11625127347189912,0.1848278153020926
mentalhealth,Beard_Royale_10,2019/02/26,"I'm having a meltdown.. Hey everyone,

This is my first time posting or ever visiting this group so I thought I would quickly introduce myself. I'm your normal 17 year old kid about to go to college. I have a great balance of school and social life but lately things haven't been going too well.

School: My grades have been dropping slightly due to silly mistakes on tests ( I don't feel as focused as I used to, maybe it's because I got several acceptances.. so I can't find motivation). Also, I'm among a group of hard-core academic kids so sometimes I get made fun of.

​

Family: My dad is taking business trips more frequently now and it's just me and my [mom.](https://mom.My) My mom is someone who really gets stressed out and has severe anxiety. Therefore, I often have to make sure she is feeling okay along with ensuring my mental health. Due to this, I don't have an outlet to destress besides my dad.

​

Overall: I am starting to have spontaneous meltdowns because I feel like I'm letting myself and everyone around me down. I need to get my life back into focus. 

​

Please respond.. thank you :)",3.4543863179074417,6.016161333333333,4.2652448021462135,82.54845070422539,76.51173708920187,6.874044265593561,29.391683433936954,7.957251820313856,2.300557075788062,896,41,155,15,21,287,137,213,0.07400000000000001,0.775,0.15,0.9482,0,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,2,0,2,14,11,0,1,4,1,20,3,0,5,2,31,41,13,0,4,3,3,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,7,10,0,0,7,0,0,4,4,2,1,1,5,3,28,9,23,34,1,25,0,0,0,0,15,6,0,2,14,103,35,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784748481790402,0.0,0.3189727533929174,0.35771754326984684,0.0,0.0,0.07506949003841491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735686391707644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754562230185956,0.0,0.11963876624955318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876456798492363,0.0,0.18753561154979506,0.0,0.0,0.0925086109828754,0.0,0.14885304140699834,0.07010437982635641,0.0,0.0,0.08968941096384826,0.08346967103783713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538072568462367,0.0,0.1115395393842624,0.0,0.07848384801553468,0.10818911622557703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790556670848558,0.0,0.0,0.1043080300743204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069536934210847,0.0,0.0,0.1003449860577037,0.13862481202379842,0.04794155836363029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928533604307264,0.06550280629261497,0.0,0.09858517988019327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889236615233947,0.0,0.0,0.3447874275099274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276245074642612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614696031572896,0.0,0.0,0.10297135110176356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771771497223777,0.0,0.0,0.0939818007485157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286484921754233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862641443104687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221718848361276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003158845602952,0.08314557239122285,0.0,0.09705347819207052,0.0,0.06945720463067205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240804559480214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248674391847593,0.0,0.07378185090900329,0.0,0.0,0.09034529125390986,0.0,0.0,0.06519347966916618,0.0,0.0,0.07790457906052713,0.057220627390838615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475316155285438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882310176820543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970902310638682,0.0,0.35771754326984684,0.063192762485001
mentalhealth,Shemwell1018,2019/02/26,"Pills are not the solution to your problems! So many people today are reliant on some form of psychoactive phamasutical drug, but is it really helping us? With the major phamasutical company's being the largest and most profitable organizations in the modern world, how can we believe that they are making these medications for our betterment and not just their own pockets? We willingly consume pills that have no ingredient labels or any federal stamp of approval because the ""benefits out weigh the risks"" but the truth is that there are not many benefits and we are only worsening the cage that mental illness created in the first place. 
To over come an emotional barrier you need to be able to feel and pin point where the distress is coming from, when we take psychoactive medication it blocks the synapses in the brain that deal with stress and anxiety. And when these feelings are altered with artificial medicine it only dampens the way we communicate within ourselves. When we have a lack of communication within it creates disease and intolerance. Fear is something we all face, and the fear of overcoming the need for these drugs is a real one. But the only way to be truly happy is to be yourself, without reliance on synthetic medicine. Trust yourselves, and find an alternative way. A natural and healthy way to finding success and abundance within your life. While our world hasn't advanced enough to get every single person off these drugs, it is true that 90% of people can survive and thrive without having the composition of their brain and body physically altered. The truth will set you free. ",11.385628250752802,10.304568679715306,10.099074733096083,61.15659457979743,56.15302491103203,13.058965234054202,44.39118532712839,11.95083700844419,5.535320065699425,1313,64,197,31,13,411,166,281,0.126,0.685,0.189,0.9782,0,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,10,4,3,6,8,17,0,5,23,0,25,14,4,2,4,55,34,23,0,4,10,0,2,0,0,2,9,0,0,1,15,26,1,2,4,0,2,3,7,6,0,2,0,2,17,12,33,28,9,31,0,0,0,0,20,16,0,3,7,153,32,2,0.10797403784893927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342604832480383,0.0,0.0825998434165007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581997129392703,0.0,0.0,0.12164976591555195,0.0,0.09549426206027148,0.0,0.11993481504573955,0.0,0.2410694707953775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18602014586433327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113164918981645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.375646813249517,0.0,0.0,0.12145625967187645,0.0,0.11156604437761243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097278376979813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430016222988729,0.10918983558652287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19737262895860944,0.09184266143574496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05641197831200344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494037105927135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237272157510811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626525610436508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207350869631159,0.21893745436691786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175449673757998,0.10881243438699896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012276186184535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731660024365044,0.2463573638418204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497112052904257,0.0942787650969057,0.11280988844965407,0.0,0.10207036606053764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331657200910532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289809359729185,0.06917093347928338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312368947032467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368389554976625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118303892759404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234676280792937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987947303964326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34281906186686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20816623884770305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lillithalexandria1,2019/02/26,"Non-violent trauma So my therapist has told me that I have symptoms of post-traumatic stress.  He's the third mental health professional to do so, so I believe him.  My first reaction reaction though was to say that I've never really been in any physically or sexually abusive situations.  He explained ""big T"" vs ""little t"" and that I probably have the latter.  I've been looking for books about trauma NOT involving violence and ""big T"" situations... and I'm not finding much.  Does anyone know of books like that?

TL;DR: Anyone know of books about trauma that doesn't involve violent or otherwise extreme situations?",5.136545454545455,7.808413200000004,6.721818181818183,66.46272727272729,71.54545454545455,10.581818181818182,32.81818181818181,10.577609850970193,4.554927272727271,492,24,75,17,10,168,71,110,0.135,0.7879999999999999,0.077,-0.7795,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,1,2,0,8,2,0,0,1,13,14,9,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,5,0,2,4,2,7,1,9,10,1,6,0,0,1,0,8,4,0,2,3,46,12,4,0.0,0.20329987193331847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166835144251446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239952094585114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193317256475966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015497170057635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568253536969991,0.14594990136301947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823865664190404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859698340431452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382764215267463,0.1719729972172957,0.0,0.0,0.1440879759350638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291707162649372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613453462092614,0.0,0.1323367376692106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433076084542148,0.0,0.18499738222529533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992158503107408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364510807312952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5786053470023974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965497522990631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834225469257425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992231205540897,0.0,0.0,0.16858114646221609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395658247735773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PizzaRice,2019/02/26,"Gf unable to do normal every day things. (Long post) Sorry for the long post but I felt the background info is necessary for more info. If anyone has any questions I will try my best to answer them. Some of this is her perspective that she told me about.

This all started back around Thanksgiving. My gf(22) was working at her job (jcpenny(3 weeks in)) when she had a falling incident and hit the back of her head. She continued on with work until she randomly blacked out for a sec. Her job was going to call an ambulance but she insisted she was ok but then had a tremor (or seizure) instance. The ambulance was called in and she was taken to the hospital. I didnt get the call till after she was taken. I got there and we were stuck till almost midnight till doc came back and said everything about her appeared normal. He prescribed some meds and we went our way. 

Some days later she finally tells me about some issues she is having like chest hurting while breathing, motor skills being weak and even hurting to use, barely being able to maintain a standing posture or walk (I'm at work most of the day so I never knew). So I take her to the hospital again and they did some scans and kept her for 2 nights. Nothing came back on the physical side so doc doesnt have an answer even tho she tried showing him what her issues were. When I asked her what she thinks, she believes it has something to do with her childhood PTSD and depression (whole other story ide rather not share as it's her issue but it revolves around abuse).

To this day she still had issues being on her feet for so long. She did drive around the block and after parking almost stumbled out of the vehicle. She hasn't been able to go back to work since Thanksgiving (I think she was terminated idk) and I'm kinda at my wits end now bc all of our bills are burning a hole in my account and she is still having these issues.

I have to ask does anyone have any idea what she is dealing with or how to help her?",2.83874358974359,5.0025430025641064,3.4606410256410283,89.54685897435898,76.66666666666666,6.17948717948718,22.884615384615394,7.1686216300943375,0.8016153846153848,1561,47,309,18,36,490,204,390,0.069,0.892,0.038,-0.8842,2,0,1,0,1,0,39.0,4,0,2,6,27,8,0,0,18,1,37,5,4,2,3,64,63,35,0,4,10,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,13,24,0,2,10,1,2,9,5,4,0,0,28,4,54,4,50,30,11,63,0,3,2,0,53,15,0,16,36,228,67,6,0.1590811538542763,0.0942425770872674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929679635999308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818063974611644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112332415959715,0.0,0.0,0.21242393114022934,0.14871940447650234,0.0,0.0,0.3058089695508301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961499224018661,0.08347292822140674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436594666367321,0.18194646030634706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20518836756101466,0.0820028421968669,0.06850818235539498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960649488342763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704493422634218,0.0,0.0,0.10507160179065513,0.0,0.06701636661806676,0.0,0.07148594173610417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763714274781988,0.08713281411099512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04155666852818394,0.0,0.0904094857620144,0.0,0.06361586553861764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163157938424277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05331437207085785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702996653956854,0.08979162963843998,0.0,0.4150984851063748,0.15786349857564613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038859508136869454,0.0,0.0,0.21117272275359394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835164982654621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134659644723608,0.0,0.0,0.07464344321966752,0.15586575465009206,0.07632132878281173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235577129988154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297867792818253,0.0,0.08910364987458565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566130326654756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579678718377095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123422211950605,0.0,0.0890391637869839,0.05629922974213108,0.0,0.12704241496152874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598046149022719,0.0,0.06952197012716158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052843224962764015,0.1019327799743602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600442989042015,0.0,0.1080056611058626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869752013499554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313560765565596,0.06380265299731107,0.0,0.0,0.07373491169439733,0.0,0.0888042135813884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23162594930662256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dyam,2019/02/26,"I’m in hole and I feel like giving up. I’m sorry if this is the wrong sub for this. If anyone has a suggestion for a more appropriate sub to post this, please let me know!

I’ve recently lost my job which caused me to lose my apartment. I’ve basically been living in my car. Most of my possessions I couldn’t fit in my car so they had to go in the trash. I have two dogs and I may have to take them to a shelter soon because I don’t think I’ll be able to care for them much longer.

I am in my last semester of a four year degree, but now I have no way to pay for my remaining classes so I won’t even be able to receive my degree anytime soon. I worked so hard and now it might all have been for nothing. 

I’ve been in a horrible depression for the past 3 years and have pushed away every single friend I had. I was dating someone but she wasn’t sure if she wanted a relationship with me but I’ve been clinging onto her so hard because I felt like I had nothing else. I smothered her and now she’s gone too. And honestly, she wasn’t even a good partner. She was mean and inconsiderate of my feelings and constantly reminded me that she didn’t think a relationship would work between us. But I was so desperate to not be alone that I stayed around anyway. I literally begged her in tears not to leave me when she said we shouldn’t be together anymore. I felt so pathetic but I cannot handle the thought of being alone.

I tried talking to my parents but they are not much help. I told them I feel like I don’t want to live anymore and my dad said I was being selfish and my mom said that is my problem. 

I don’t know what to do. I have no one and no reason to live anymore. I have no self esteem, confidence, or motivation at all. For the past few years, it feels like every time I take one step forward, I get pushed 5 steps back. I feel so exhausted, I just want to give up. I don’t want to commit suicide, but I just don’t know how to cope. I feel so sad. I feel lost and alone and I just don’t want to do it anymore. ",1.0276963048498828,2.7447740993071608,3.0479162817551964,92.49104301385685,80.52424942263279,6.362332563510393,21.910450346420326,7.365786028017652,0.5842933487297919,1567,48,367,22,40,529,193,433,0.17600000000000002,0.6940000000000001,0.13,-0.9834,2,3,0,0,0,4,36.0,2,0,5,6,26,19,1,0,13,0,48,1,0,4,4,69,85,34,1,12,17,3,11,4,2,5,1,3,0,2,11,16,0,0,18,0,1,10,20,10,0,4,24,14,71,9,44,48,8,45,0,5,0,0,35,16,0,7,22,253,82,6,0.15671249516131278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434603244571331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108333705928066,0.054788510181896816,0.0,0.0,0.06975367283597178,0.0,0.0,0.07361827393196911,0.060251117747009274,0.0,0.09553048249754434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988941657863008,0.08049345048710309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846752670677599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748812122468502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545659039955481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035071250633049,0.0,0.1320370361279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27733491183014786,0.16793315678381845,0.15046857115586676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06053784250973901,0.0,0.04093790532603835,0.1503329051560164,0.044531661220521115,0.0657215028836682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038361419349826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05252054107450232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775648515645599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12918763343226938,0.06387079984728675,0.0,0.08296795243891447,0.0,0.0801245719494169,0.0,0.1531236185638579,0.0,0.20757000650016896,0.0,0.0,0.08766059829084863,0.1710702006803415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535292453644185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312359614794815,0.0,0.09176989014972524,0.0,0.0,0.11520171551436255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036986566664676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619244247255807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700534010159848,0.0,0.14959980901991482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601162990402587,0.0,0.0,0.07504362551488038,0.0,0.0,0.07497634669230534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056327272752081,0.07736734151775554,0.16825057178914798,0.0,0.0,0.22360420454805596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174265508924093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639099429945589,0.0,0.0,0.0877134040460693,0.0,0.08351733429049772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570901711963297,0.0,0.07384983603666866,0.0,0.11782829325064673,0.06297978372342576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041503912615528,0.0,0.062206108101253016,0.04569015808853202,0.0,0.0,0.0748727524465377,0.0,0.05319874866809024,0.0,0.07654266827822258,0.0,0.0942529180892298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23108272481721415,0.0621955421464122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408856291424495,0.0,0.0,0.055662030130726715,0.0856702561596301,0.0,0.1513765632943597
mentalhealth,ritababii2010,2019/02/26,"How to be happy? Hey everyone I’m on a Journey of Mental health awareness! I made a video on how to be Happy??! 

Check it out on my YouTube channel AdaSpeaks ",-0.4203125000000014,1.8093700937500048,2.024750000000001,91.94525,98.0625,3.8100000000000014,25.15,5.6839178017228535,0.7791425000000003,121,6,24,1,5,41,24,32,0.0,0.848,0.152,0.7026,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,3,0,4,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,7,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280059616787378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7308273908805776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648763606293267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248071716245315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459320114662182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sleepingbitxh,2019/02/26,Intrusive thoughts or something else? Whenever I do something embarrassing or I don’t perform as well I want to in anything I just get plagued with so many suicidal thoughts. I’m not suicidal normally but occasionally I just have these random bouts. I don’t know what they are and what to even consider them since they’re not constant. ,4.55182795698925,7.321058806451617,4.998064516129034,77.63376344086022,73.83870967741936,9.29462365591398,36.13978494623656,9.725611199111238,4.164991397849462,274,16,48,8,6,87,44,62,0.132,0.821,0.047,-0.7076,0,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,1,5,2,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,15,11,6,2,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,2,0,8,1,5,9,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,1,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19923401287793147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616324195238749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224992153038426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990985624292053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649128360138154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305606338940534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454592132731289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372141472531285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20027399602731888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37277268032086497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5296530687308768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844129492658264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280139761641727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768390339117424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cwt92001,2019/02/26,Need some advice Okay so earlier this week this girl I had just started to date ended things with me. She has severe depression and anxiety and could never hang out because she was always struggling. Despite this I stayed in the relationship because I felt like I could help her and she always said how I did. But we finally started hanging out and things went amazingly well and I was extremely happy she seemed happy as well. Then about a week or so later she ended things with me and said she cant be in a relationship because she needs to focus on herself and dosnt want to being me down with her. I was severely hurt and still am really struggling with this whole situation. She said she still wants to be friends and talk but she needs some time for now. This has been an extremely hard situation for me and I'm a little lost on what exactly to do because she meant so much to me. I'm sort of new to this kind of thing so posting here for some advice. Hopefully that made sense but I can explain more if needed.,3.2246055555555566,5.379136605000002,4.260333333333335,84.30822222222223,75.45,7.444444444444445,25.11111111111111,8.344100000000001,1.6992277777777778,811,28,156,15,18,263,112,200,0.08800000000000001,0.8140000000000001,0.098,0.2815,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,1,13,15,0,2,5,1,17,0,0,2,2,44,38,22,0,10,6,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,12,17,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,5,2,0,14,5,28,10,25,19,6,29,0,3,0,0,25,8,0,8,17,122,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747254213151408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814871093838785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729622564996236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463750604347072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134631984972214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702661972728985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898498860738454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701537756025587,0.11068567313710173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806416453149985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21512042856761693,0.09051305019802144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772577266961179,0.0,0.0,0.10035668967339302,0.0,0.0,0.10816667229026183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521883966979437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936361644910213,0.10126980619084763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102983831163002,0.0,0.0,0.09560760698571356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427689277807903,0.2996830168347727,0.07792918651499879,0.09758620065513687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676951946695893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472956680648062,0.0,0.0,0.21696082605775044,0.0,0.0,0.2883398993111861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198409484974683,0.0,0.2282955449013044,0.0,0.0,0.2271490381244104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303493361685815,0.10769645324305753,0.1613832327172064,0.0,0.0,0.2112603581221845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121307259922338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685090794055169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891792423754778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919341094863925,0.0,0.1620982787482162,0.0,0.18169630960828329,0.09366618555671384,0.0,0.11280886836899005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MahalikLab,2019/02/26,"Take Our Survey & Help Improve Outreach for Men's Mental Health - Moderator Approved Despite growing awareness that 6 million men experience depression in America each year, we still don't know a lot about how to encourage men to seek help. We are inviting men ages 18+ to take a 10-15 minute research survey and help us learn how to design more effective online outreach to men around mental health issues. All men currently living in the United States who are 18 years of age or older are eligible to participate.

No identifying personal information is collected, and more information regarding confidentiality is available on the first page of the survey. This study has been approved by the Boston College Institutional Review Board.

Please click the link below to take the survey. Thank you for your time and assistance.

[https://bostoncollege.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_26uoVBVzZScgyot](https://bostoncollege.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_26uoVBVzZScgyot)

Sincerely,

Dr. Jim Mahalik

[Mahalik@bc.edu](mailto:Mahalik@bc.edu)

Boston College",13.836089743589744,15.698319147435894,11.441794871794873,43.90320512820514,49.83333333333334,13.087179487179489,41.692307692307686,12.45797560212912,6.021338461538463,881,38,102,24,9,268,111,156,0.043,0.722,0.235,0.9839,1,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,4,2,0,4,5,4,0,0,8,0,8,3,0,3,1,18,13,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,7,3,7,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,1,1,6,3,18,12,6,16,0,1,1,0,20,5,0,2,9,58,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918549284304444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576295595449211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250985920379082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320812777572847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061538259367102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764335874790815,0.0,0.0,0.3560582297696039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848147457507161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973128674503182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563557748722342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053831310442145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35688918809506703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154610418007799,0.0,0.19436933979654986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140807822181645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994030968958043,0.0,0.0,0.1630219747910111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325075658695644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21299302760968145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280541418335038
mentalhealth,mcnielian,2019/02/26,1st panic attack I had my first panic attack a few days ago. It was so severe i went to the er because we thought i had a heart attack. That was a few days ago. I have since then had 3 minor episodes. I am having an issue of feeling like im in the center of a tornado with voices swirling all around me when im in a group of people talking about different things. Im also a server and find myself having more ttouble than before woth trying to listen to them and the store music colliding. Is this normal and will it eventually gp away pf should i see a professional. ,1.8827972027971995,3.8815320427350457,4.089805749805752,84.68524475524478,79.0,5.963947163947164,20.892773892773896,6.980632752743323,0.6290410256410257,447,12,87,5,11,154,81,117,0.179,0.7859999999999999,0.035,-0.9499,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,1,1,5,6,3,2,11,0,12,1,1,0,1,12,17,7,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,5,1,1,7,4,11,1,13,8,4,13,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,8,64,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530219855088313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413162042466685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270493752511136,0.0,0.487087358266936,0.13408836165683052,0.0,0.0,0.0869996347525043,0.0,0.12144259930767312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18408274741568711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911004819134888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216256424886931,0.1019578457825599,0.0,0.0,0.13044176632089258,0.12139595084182235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912164665190116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4624801457028657,0.1489606267543392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972485922166187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983344516582535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348979017997291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894276708554244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372785531635905,0.0,0.0,0.16123084038614402,0.0,0.1180578948006124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147114101694316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481557019121226,0.0,0.0,0.11330223699692772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689622793505932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230111712957204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CatMafia_,2019/02/26,"What's therapy like? Sorry if this isn't the place to ask, I didn't know which other sub would be though.

My parent basically said they're done asking, they're just setting me up an appointment and to deal with it. Okay, I have my problems so I get it. What's therapy like though? What do you do? Do you just sit and talk about your feelings for an hour?",0.8256756756756758,3.0102836621621663,2.368851351351349,94.55435810810816,84.0,5.8621621621621625,18.70945945945946,7.1686216300943375,0.16051891891891934,277,7,63,4,8,90,54,74,0.056,0.835,0.109,0.594,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,1,9,0,0,0,0,10,15,6,0,3,3,1,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,9,3,6,10,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,3,43,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816389844532579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104330738040155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088799875787513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320641775006366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664139511708848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010116542913026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217598418361667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994400565805272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22664498286310125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21325619570966955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19530999811473967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19415961920165886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284894574709032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640594931994917,0.0,0.0,0.4668454100401667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40108289491906896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499707547114354,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,olivichii,2019/02/26,"anger issues i've always had extremely violent tantrums coupled with anger issues. as a child it was excused as being bratty, but as i got older i knew it was rather taboo to have to scream at the top of your lungs every day. i haven't addressed my anger issue very well, if at all, seeing as nowadays all i do is repress whatever i feel and end up translating that pent up anger into depressive episodes in which i'm recluse and intensely avoidant of any social interaction. lately, however, the tantrums are beginning to bubble back to the surface and it's becoming harder to take control. breathing exercises don't usually help me calm down because when i'm so angry i NEED to move or do something otherwise i start shaking. does anyone have any tips to help me come out of or stop a tantrum before it starts? it's scary to see myself so angry and i hate it so much, but it's so apparent in my life i'm at a loss.",4.487637362637361,5.7021434780219815,5.560109890109892,80.13489010989012,70.26373626373626,8.676923076923076,31.032967032967033,9.057496981413335,2.6839868131868125,731,31,138,14,13,242,116,182,0.328,0.635,0.038,-0.9966,2,1,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,3,8,17,9,3,6,0,12,4,2,1,2,24,27,18,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,9,8,0,5,2,1,0,3,2,15,1,0,5,4,14,2,26,21,3,26,0,2,2,0,7,12,0,3,11,87,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126003566283068,0.0,0.0,0.2145498359005687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030196247272946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129945688624562,0.0,0.09616249520622636,0.17422168293787482,0.13423301611527313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588703423356674,0.0,0.0,0.1769292280748712,0.0,0.17454657478433924,0.0,0.1017352335229226,0.0,0.13586922130143794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804745553271966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971903713448647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291056971286527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976277438855739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616650764882387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574475230282406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147203059233244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4939477825486488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17794805575825168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142297968784287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766251667575588,0.11596386960762718,0.11696909021113573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25141150012377445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080552227209333,0.0,0.12144310052215818,0.0,0.0,0.2233115006687,0.0,0.0,0.13188545928556836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860782431580842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373854218752266,0.1301596745320933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183554513080254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,altstracc,2019/02/26,"Any tips for seeking professional help despite unsupportive family and no means? So I'm a college student and have been suffering from anxiety for a while, to the point that it's conditioning a major part of my life. I've decided to seek help, finally, but I'm finding it very difficult.

I've talked to my family about it, and they basically laughed in my face (too young to have problems, I'm ""living the good life"" and don't have bills to pay, etc.) Every time I try to bring up the subject, they refuse to take it seriously and invalidate me, which just gives me more anxiety.

So I've decided to try and do it on my own. However, I can't afford therapy, and the college psychologists' line of work doesn't seem suitable for my situation. My only chance is to try to get help through the school insurance (idk how to call it, not from the US.)

But the process requires visiting several doctors I've never been to and doing some paperwork I'm unfamiliar with. I'm not sure I can do all this on my own, and I can't ask my family since it will be more problematic than helpful, although I'm pretty sure they will get mad if they find out I'm trying to go to therapy and haven't said anything to them.

I just want to get help, but I don't know what to do. It's overwhelming, and either option seems to put me near a panic attack. Do you guys have any tips or insights? Any help would be much appreciated.",5.821648936170213,5.539476226950357,7.184459219858155,74.94562500000002,66.87234042553192,11.163475177304964,33.22783687943262,10.820120047756994,3.476439007092198,1104,44,225,29,16,380,152,282,0.14,0.733,0.127,-0.2913,2,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,1,5,2,7,12,2,2,11,0,24,4,1,1,4,44,45,21,0,4,10,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,12,13,0,2,9,0,2,4,10,8,0,0,3,1,24,4,35,37,11,16,0,2,0,0,21,7,0,6,5,144,36,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155724539752177,0.0,0.16167060917761267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695530205149131,0.0,0.09878479504888643,0.12021197093839202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078982735223526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081551053141488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178471307530138,0.0,0.0,0.08902937803698305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988415829944284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575351870572265,0.19315625695454328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562063294651408,0.10136583974490468,0.060053242903396115,0.08862883774096464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462738147599747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4249599575833615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807206317174815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927207974605253,0.0,0.0,0.0933062879920134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510282278308855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767772877832685,0.0,0.08149724615047738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036485187763567,0.0,0.12397797691276165,0.0,0.11442754343622223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998898882700093,0.0,0.0,0.10750177755385312,0.0,0.10110947214893863,0.0,0.10622496565125343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051393579239976,0.0,0.0,0.10694109352347997,0.0,0.19239134283676526,0.0,0.11937413342751906,0.0,0.08740920069850021,0.11877463310428815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918062880808649,0.0,0.07944876658018002,0.08493148798597594,0.0,0.0,0.24167985991472798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616155357061048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869650301255173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271049233114636,0.0,0.0,0.08718670677676531,0.06232539556746591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692715691943779,0.0,0.0,0.07506311968430016,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,morepastaplz,2019/02/26,"What can i do to calm myself down after a meaningless, yet traumatic for me, experience? Im not going to go into the deep details because i cant bare to talk about it. But today i was working on buying a car. The salesman straight lied to me on an agreement over the phone. And then basically called me stupid for believing that a deal like that was possible and laughed when i got there. And then tried to bully me into a car way over my budget until i cried. 

I have schizophrenia and ptsd from an abusive male. Im REALLY sick of people looking at me and assuming im a normal 23 year old girl. I'm not. Ive had trouble shopping around at all because i know salesmen are very pushy and it was going to set off my pstd. This just pushed me over the edge. Like he purposely lied about a deal (taking $xxx amount lff the car price) to get me to come up there. It freaked me out. I have bad paranoia and social anxiety and i felt like they made a joke out of me. 

Even since i left there 4 hours ago, my brain is so fixated on it and i cant calm down my anxiety. I keep telling myself ""hes just an asshole."" This isnt even the end of the world im going to look at another car tomorrow that i like even more. It just made me so freaked out in the moment its like im still standing there humiliated. 

I dont even think he realized how shitty he was being. I think hes just a shitty salesmen and thought that tactic would actually work on me and he could scare/push me into a more expensive car. 

It was absolutely horrifying for me though. I tried to go to a store and i couldnt calm down so i left. I tried to hang out with my mom. I went home and now im trying to lay down. It just got to my ptsd so bad, i dont know what can help? 

Sorry for rambling. ",0.9053763440860224,2.768916096774192,3.0631182795698924,91.5063440860215,81.58064516129029,6.2838709677419375,21.623655913978496,7.3871296695380915,0.6324107526881724,1356,42,310,20,36,461,179,372,0.166,0.7440000000000001,0.09,-0.9839,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,2,27,17,1,0,21,0,25,2,1,3,1,48,48,24,0,4,8,1,1,5,0,1,1,0,1,2,16,23,0,1,8,2,6,14,8,6,0,0,13,3,46,11,52,31,4,63,0,0,2,0,18,30,0,1,21,201,62,2,0.0,0.09806408824127404,0.08076760457816673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336699952567642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678728983037659,0.126631413590473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367922147192696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821218203103758,0.10090668048130104,0.0,0.0,0.0932488560732498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239414567167213,0.0845132641585855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129551659174455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608185712946536,0.0,0.09091448324432004,0.0,0.17065607078597755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19400209756022166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330604414459807,0.0,0.0,0.21866445396775752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096095709440124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946826832206805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043241780260185464,0.0,0.2351889152342645,0.0,0.1323909435529828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547625551923789,0.0,0.08302097202770807,0.0,0.08150776511369953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5364084162438544,0.0,0.0,0.0735661578301089,0.0,0.0,0.09097197674903083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17985084138296087,0.0,0.0,0.20217625370207104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900506529819362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663024062041234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693445213553133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109303454024737,0.0,0.0,0.08684891653496409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737947183708855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330614567584428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349787662243706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053021971492650734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286313048725455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846482920778893,0.0,0.0,0.08436943852559388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264967793114087,0.0,0.0,0.0660969753598508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062229675951891474,0.0665241161440227,0.0723410673176326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606612678713057,0.08131710199949486,0.06570690014383382,0.0,0.0,0.0784524202148058,0.0,0.0,0.22477052323038405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829055684023927,0.0,0.06569573956554271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672484253233389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050915962718453,0.0,0.0,0.05879453910940074,0.0,0.0,0.05329854271067893
mentalhealth,issac113,2019/02/26,"The Mind of Crazy: My personal journal from 2 years ago. Hi guys, I recently came upon an old journal I wrote over 2 years ago, I wrote this in high school. I find it very depressing, I don't know, have a read--tell me what you think about the person who wrote this:

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I feel like I can't accomplish the work in front of me; however, I must. I must prove to myself that I can do whatever needs to be done. The work I must do isn't just for myself, It's for my future. It's for Keanna. So far, I've gotten a fair amount of work done; however, I still notice my brain hinting negative thoughts, thoughts that are telling me that I wont be able to complete my work, that I won't be able to memorize the list that I have in front of me. That I don't have what it takes, that I'll be too tired to memorize the list of words for my class. I feel like I may not be able to complete my work. I must end this negative mentality.. I have all night to complete my work. I'm giving myself a deadline of no deadline, I will complete the work given in front of me before its due date. I think that it's too much, I think that I won't have the energy to complete it, I must end these negative feelings and complete the work. I need to realize that I have it within me to do whatever I set my mind to, I just need to set my mind on it, that's the hard part. I keep thinking that I can't complete the work, that it's too much, that it's too tiring, that it's too grueling, I need to end this mentality. I keep thinking it's just too much. I need to keep going. Again, I'm not doing this for myself, I'm doing this for the people I love, for Keanna. I love her so much, I can never get my mind off of her; well, I can actually, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do my work :p. I need to stay focused, I must not stop. Studies have shown that it takes at least 30 minutes to get back into the mindset of working once distracted, I must not let that be me, I've let that be me for far too long. I must not let the negativity envelop me, I must fight through the discomfort, for it is the fight through the pain that makes me grow. The whole purpose of life is to become the best version of yourself; therefore, I must work hard to become the best version of myself. It's 8:19 as I'm typing this. I must keep going, I must stay focused. I have negative voices in my head telling me that it's too much, that it's too tiring, and that I should just lay down the couch behind me and ""relax"". I must not fall into that trap, that habit has wasted so much time, so much opportunities. Maybe, even, ruined my chance with Keanna when I was younger. I cannot let that happen anymore, I want to know that by the end of everyday, that I've grown. I want the things that I desire, and I must remind myself that this discomfort, this pain, is what will get me there, I must embrace it. I must think of Keanna every time I feel this way; for this is the only way I may be able to get her back into my life, and maybe, even be in a relationship with her, which is something I truly desire. I'm feeling as if I can't complete the assignment again, I feel like I can't understand it.. or grasp it. I must complete the work in front of me. I don't think I understand it.. I feel confused. I don't think I have what it takes to complete the assignment. However, I must complete my given assignment. Remember, this is not just for you.. I feel confused, I feel like it's too much for me. I feel like I don't have what it takes to finish my work, I feel like my brain isn't working right. I need to complete my given work, and I will. Although it may seem complicated, I will complete my assignment. I will complete it. I have three sections left, I can do it. Ill do it for Keanna. I feel like I can't focus on reading, I feel like I can't comprehend the material, I feel stupid, I must read and comprehend this assignment. I know I can. I feel retarded, I feel like I can't comprehend anything. I feel like this section of my work is too complicated, it may have to do with the fact that I took a break; however, that shouldn't be an excuse.. I need to keep working, I need to understand this. I feel like I don't know what exactly to write, I don't know what is necessarily important and what is not, and it's frustrating. I will eventually figure it out.. I just need to stay focused and stop letting these negative thoughts get to me.. they're distracting me and overall hindering my ability to comprehend the content contained in this textbook. I'm finally getting back to work, after spending sometime listening to ASMR, attempting to nap, and watching some ""how to know if a girl likes you"" videos. I feel like I'm ready to get back into this, I'm primarily typing this right now to get my mind back into gear. I was thinking about the girls at my new school, and thinking about the ones that may possibly seek interest in me. I'm not too sure though, although I'd love to find myself an attractive and sweet girl to get to know, hopefully that can be soon. I just need to gain some confidence, something that I've been lacking in since the third grade. I'm honestly not looking too forward to working, but it's part of growing, which is essential to life.. which, again, I need to start embracing. Fucking APUSH man, I don't understand how a class assigns this much work.. I'm already in the mentality that I'm not going to get every thing done. It doesn't even seem right, there's just so much. I guess that just means I have to be very discipline in my schedule. I'm going to try not to get too mad at myself for not being able to complete everything, Ill get the hang of it eventually, and I will succeed the class indefinitely, as well as all my other classes. I'm anxious about first period tomorrow, I've had so many missing days, I know I'm already super behind, and my teacher probably hates me already. Oh boy, I can't wait for first period. I need to start working, I want to at least get the first chapter done, that way maybe I can go to the gym and meditate in the sauna, and follow that up with some exciting APUSH vocabulary memorization :D. I really hope I get to know a cute girl at my school soon, I feel like I need it.. A friend, but a girlfriend! I don't know, I just don't desire to have a guy friend at the moment, primarily because I don't see the point. At least with a girlfriend there's a possibility we can become intimate, which is something I really want. Again, however, I don't want to allow an intimate relationship to distract me from doing the day to day tasks I need to perform everyday. Alright, I need to get working. I can type my inner thoughts forever. My day has started; evidently, I got up super duper late. 8:00 to be exact. It's okay, I feel like it was meant to happen for a reason. Hell, I didn't even finish my first chapter! I feel like I should be typing that with more shame; however, I do feel like I worked as hard as I could given the circumstance. All I can at this point is learn what I did wrong. One of the things I did wrong is not do any school related work over the weekend, which would've definitely lessened my work-load. In addition, my lack of work Monday through Tuesday can also be attributed to this error. Although I made a few 'stupid' mistakes, I've came up with solution to prevent this problem again. I've decided to keep myself in a routine in which I complete a chapter in my workbook on Saturday and Sunday. In addition, for my thesis tests, I figured I'd read a section of a given chapter a day and write notes on it. I assume achieving completion should only take approximately 30 to 40 minutes. I've missed so much school; however, I know it's for the greater good. I know that I'll eventually make it up.. I know I have it within me. All I need is proper discipline, focus, motivation, and drive. I have negative voices in my head telling me that I have too much work on my plate, and that I won't be able to do it. That I'm not good enough, that I don't have what it takes to complete my given assignment. This is incorrect however, I know I can do it. I need to discipline myself to complete this work. All work is easy work. I just need to imagine Keanna, the most beautiful girl I've seen. She's so beautiful, I swear. I regret not talking to her more when I was around her. I miss her, I know it sounds cheesy, but I'm so in love with her.. as creepy as that sounds! She's one of my forms of motivation, which is why I'm so hesitant to remove her from my desktop screen! I know my mom would probably be freaked out, but it pushes me.. at least I think it does. I need to go train, but I'm still a bit fatigued from my ""all nighter"" earlier. I'm hoping I can complete chapter 2 as soon as I get back from school, and hopefully memorize my vice president names after, while memorizing my vocabulary throughout the day. I have so much I have to do, but Ill get used to it. Ill survive, I have greatness within me. I know that through this work and discomfort, and through this pain, Ill be one step closer to obtaining the things I've always desired, the wealth, Keanna, vitality, prosperity, happiness. I know I will achieve these things though my dedication towards working hard.. I still have negative thoughts telling me that I don't have what it takes, and that I'm not good enough, and that I'll just fatigue and never accomplish anything, and that this phase will go away eventually and that I'll end up back in square one, the person I was on Monday, the person I was while I was dating Tatum. I will not allow these negative thoughts affect me, I know within I'm strong, and I refuse to let myself down, I refuse to not allow myself to grow. I will ensure that every day, no matter what, I grow. That I become a better person than I was the day prior. That I learn something new, that I see a new perspective, that I work harder than I did before, that I increase my drive and motivation. I know I can do this... I want to do it for my beautiful Keanna, I love her dearly. I hope that one day I get to see her, hopefully soon. Well, at least once my hair grows out more. I want my hair to grow so that I can get it aligned with the shape of my head! I figured out that I have a triangular shaped head.. which is funny because short hairstyles don't go well that shape! You see where I'm going with this, I've had short haircuts almost all of my life. I prefer it short because there is less work to be done to it. But why shouldn't I want to look like the best version of myself possible? If I find myself feeling bad for ""not looking good enough"", then i should be at least trying my hardest to making myself looking more presentable, not just having a great physique. Okay, I need to eat and then head to the gym, Ill come back in later in the day, to discuss what happened I guess, and how I feel. I enjoy doing this, I think it's a good way for myself to express my deep-inner emotions..",4.030828363314178,4.67500562505613,5.239419630345097,84.11954828327151,70.88145487202516,8.529039879694897,28.32753907956953,8.706040021194417,1.9430214716882184,8505,298,1805,142,149,2831,544,2227,0.09,0.772,0.138,0.9984,8,0,4,0,2,0,334.0,1,4,0,59,88,102,9,9,87,3,203,34,9,18,33,344,424,82,0,76,45,1,31,18,4,47,18,5,1,14,178,60,1,16,96,9,2,34,69,35,4,12,43,49,320,67,245,305,58,224,1,8,12,6,66,89,2,28,111,1265,498,71,0.12650657562455478,0.0,0.01763602414523448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032040127520335214,0.0,0.01809686595014334,0.0,0.05982992228013405,0.014452466117341366,0.015037657878586788,0.01958140311933087,0.02195990517407963,0.012289829931431668,0.0,0.0,0.02041663168437417,0.01792293281266317,0.0,0.0,0.029744037908626862,0.016088239036771455,0.0,0.0,0.016979584591583746,0.1111722832804486,0.015089672351901322,0.033050243275348105,0.07983804209168789,0.030756508059122875,0.0,0.056897505549638926,0.0159835408131565,0.01973034509516976,0.0,0.0,0.040349479038144016,0.0,0.04133994879377224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.015567744748974113,0.3789706790114937,0.0,0.0,0.01442931524320861,0.0,0.0,0.1165518223570816,0.0,0.015565704030503984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.015815250977402433,0.09247153500631222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01849254418073529,0.0,0.02032898146543625,0.08003376918740737,0.05602076141118867,0.0,0.04774651433605038,0.0,0.04568024834895184,0.0,0.016242278997180587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284483061895284,0.2065744523506079,0.0,0.019797395714876456,0.04955345068328017,0.0614893877716184,0.0,0.0,0.02792533328982912,0.016707612952157048,0.17939926050742885,0.017336662106163844,0.09243848863621774,0.07579122397860673,0.014454123588939159,0.039849698923861816,0.039817501579398264,0.03578897120108458,0.04794400587017652,0.01923837173322196,0.06475716762046077,0.017842721813142944,0.09273731695624607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0190944489771875,0.0,0.10769963492772454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638130603526536,0.0,0.0,0.19864201580138466,0.0,0.02038641822043953,0.0,0.019635680652760484,0.11088132399328908,0.05106019177573557,0.15892642994451125,0.0,0.0,0.01599347692827947,0.06070494973108394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155508831974016,0.017100511522426646,0.03619033781530679,0.018322544527301383,0.05446836808042576,0.019686106789801157,0.0,0.0,0.054638088670892274,0.0,0.09123969886421476,0.02116613891542145,0.0,0.0,0.17270850836051194,0.2814090685998242,0.02787704857276061,0.052363216735956016,0.0,0.016959693061883968,0.0,0.0,0.020575510689784752,0.018963910060199127,0.0384929640891904,0.07347782542209333,0.0274897003905995,0.05769082107484025,0.0,0.0,0.03914122669302681,0.0,0.01252910441067169,0.07890047303519128,0.0,0.0,0.03416845842973761,0.06112163830903501,0.0,0.0,0.03897013860972626,0.017292815398067526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230903434317454,0.0,0.02315524335174105,0.01858140419749424,0.01784428308032109,0.038805919558996635,0.020472469885649647,0.046301110441364576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974120719638784,0.05760534966354844,0.032904810055399206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.014949649519930422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055651967124496986,0.017874034008206783,0.0,0.03837514515121338,0.057788218877267275,0.04329784916098931,0.030218617660459263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01703299291175958,0.0,0.09511720093207332,0.014525884786157385,0.06318418462793836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06003239113254257,0.1389605237975571,0.03551201949775934,0.08608464867794899,0.021076286167317174,0.06231458520487,0.0,0.0,0.020079065757065823,0.024539903068386992,0.0,0.0,0.07525588955381375,0.0,0.015608723356630112,0.0,0.0298231924944704,0.08527640682939022,0.0573800179053544,0.0,0.0,0.06499691675167929,0.0,0.032615002189157645,0.020177153410649483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604914687035988,0.0,0.0,0.02567618333506011,0.03951859460300116,0.02195990517407963,0.02327602486320217
mentalhealth,kateramos417,2019/02/26,"MENTAL HEALTH SURVEY Hello please fill out this mental health survey if you have the time! (:

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[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdf-F9hX46zO5SgxFgyE5Td50nZ71M6i8inNN0-VUqOCPKxIg/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdf-F9hX46zO5SgxFgyE5Td50nZ71M6i8inNN0-VUqOCPKxIg/viewform?usp=sf_link)",62.425,80.20542483333334,28.70555555555556,-100.05499999999996,-32.66666666666666,4.622222222222223,17.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.6459777777777775,309,2,11,1,3,64,15,18,0.0,0.7340000000000001,0.266,0.7312,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869882834463223,0.3218480030336296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5630922801200222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5338565775186102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907494930630882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444876834721222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218480030336296,0.0
mentalhealth,1usernametoBindthem,2019/02/26,"How do i get people out of my head? I've recently gone through some severe emotional trauma, most of which I feel I brought on myself. I hurt some people around me and they retaliated and now it's just become this severe anxiety in my head where I want to get back at them, but obviously, continuing this cycle of negativity won't do anyone any good. Problem is, one particular person I'm involved with in this scenario works where I work....Everytime I see them, it triggers me and I go down this rapid spiral of panic and manic thoughts and unstable mood. 

I keep seeing these people in my head, laughing at me, saying I deserve what I'm getting...I feel the need to severely harm myself and others...I feel like I want to break down and cry or lash out. It's nuts, and I don't like it and I wish I could make it stop. 

I realize my mental health has caused great heartache for others, especially in relationships. I've been called so many negative things by my last two exes, which were my most intense and unstable relationships. I don't know why things spiralled like they did over the last few years, but that's how this cookie crumbled. 

I just want to be able to forgive myself for having hurt those around me and I want to never do it again. 

Maybe I'm looking for advice. Maybe I want to know that I'm not a piece of shit and I can get better. 

My recent ex says I'm a sociopath and that there's no hope for me. I want this to not be the case. 

I'm sorry. I know you guys are strangers, but I owe someone an apology and communication with my exes is not a good idea. 

Thanks for the help. If I get shit, then hey. Guess that's confirmation I'm a hopeless case. ",2.6193655990995595,4.42226554005935,4.173522971451964,85.83821958456977,76.09198813056379,7.022163102425048,23.49012585695283,7.873277556716777,1.116525304410109,1305,40,272,20,29,435,174,337,0.18,0.647,0.173,-0.7625,1,0,0,0,0,1,42.0,0,1,4,2,13,21,2,1,9,0,18,6,5,5,2,65,56,23,0,12,10,1,3,3,0,1,1,2,0,2,24,20,0,2,10,0,1,3,10,9,0,2,6,8,45,11,36,46,6,32,0,3,3,0,18,16,2,8,15,178,69,1,0.08981553127568337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776669767670214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107764117326695,0.0,0.06870863558997807,0.0,0.0,0.06280110778307678,0.0,0.0,0.15990972966754535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690625995691161,0.0,0.0,0.09919419784607718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943453863161119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171169941087468,0.0,0.0,0.09226529144686636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171039336733775,0.0,0.09865814369389794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103038384513008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624029380324426,0.06416423348933993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18769963236878948,0.0,0.05104423622370135,0.15066601273004884,0.0,0.09902194030812032,0.09894193359269587,0.0889314967406383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765299406107545,0.0954697097824628,0.0,0.0,0.06020145738394561,0.0,0.0,0.08920708820908689,0.0,0.0,0.19229876767924176,0.10139080242620577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983217097221197,0.0,0.0,0.14808080133015367,0.1464232910179092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316379954707319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542242565199668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059952564555548885,0.09105885160848223,0.1804635463886698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905129306874834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659707839245478,0.06927127467167722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086132843662236,0.0,0.0,0.10537917411473742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680034166955875,0.07842345756338802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594133357837884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736400341661795,0.1928565361316559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428498308037691,0.0,0.0,0.14314269994137013,0.0,0.0,0.3043979561008521,0.18438870434124685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610040818747113,0.0,0.0,0.1005411339572777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508980581974052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269007410145977,0.0,0.0,0.11933889613847612,0.0,0.0,0.07130349934069456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773672334921899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178531643194358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104454706407109,0.0,0.10328342843540614,0.0,0.0,0.1307735529330245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057838257423676626
mentalhealth,TheShapeChills,2019/02/26,"It is normal to be as paranoid as I am about the government spying on my online info? For the past few months I have been freaking out because I saw a Reddit thread about the NSA and how much data the government collects on people. Essentially the thread detailed how they can see literally all of your internet history since the beginning of time, all your downloads, they can listen to you through your phone, etc. Since then I've felt paranoid that someone is basically watching every move I make, and I feel stressed out every time I have to use my phone.

I don't do anything illegal (other than occasionally streaming a movie online I guess) but the thought of someone watching everything I'm doing fills me with fear and anxiety.

The reason I am posting this here is because it's starting to legitimately affect my well-being. I stress about it every day almost, to the point of feeling sick. Should I seek professional help or are these reasonable fears? I live in the US btw",7.195230998509686,7.771558617486342,7.405285643318432,71.60154992548438,63.91803278688525,9.93323397913562,35.76204669647292,9.800150414767053,3.5967092896174853,789,35,133,15,11,256,119,183,0.136,0.8240000000000001,0.039,-0.9509,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,4,2,0,6,5,0,4,12,0,16,1,0,7,2,26,29,10,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,7,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,4,8,23,0,23,23,5,17,0,0,4,0,11,6,0,3,8,95,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134623389545145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798310551736398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615844839682443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17209342321736554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103322746165712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742501645479598,0.0,0.0,0.3567872517441129,0.0,0.12686091461668156,0.0,0.0,0.3176769923070813,0.14274430858312911,0.0,0.13553083172957126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549802675444904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946131482479605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464235513093296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422198605531176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266848757157165,0.15002531068942793,0.1037650866250433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383018234922645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474831579314514,0.09785902859700997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334369976094797,0.0,0.13518736708808915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902614752234644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248217301279023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335295695421087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392001627353167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999101586108679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323384902235323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206121656979293,0.1646171045561337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979195433895633,0.12191250509639552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691519933584522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,p4r4n01c,2019/02/26,"i’m scared of myself i’m desperate for therapy, but i’m not moving to get the help i need. for too long i avoided the monsters eating away at me, and the monsters in my real life. how can i tell either of them to go away? how can i remove any of them when they’re living with me and inside me? i startle easily now. i’ve been silent since i was 17/18, but i don’t know the reason. i lost confidence. i lost myself. i’m no longer the energetic outspoken social person i once knew. will i ever come back to my senses? i try to live everyday. i force myself to work out, to eat better, i go to work, and i want to go back to school. i’m almost 30 and live at home with a mom that i very much love, but also people i feel that i hate. it feels like they’re against me, so i’m against them. i feel paranoid. i am anxious, i am sad, and i am terrified. there’s no love nor is there emotional support. if i can’t go back and if i can’t improve alone, i’d rather lie down and die. ",-0.1914103653355994,1.5996118130841133,2.5400849617672066,94.17677145284622,85.07476635514018,5.573152081563296,18.138487680543754,6.7829847944221076,-0.06378691588785035,744,18,178,9,22,260,119,214,0.21,0.611,0.179,-0.5531,0,2,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,3,5,14,12,1,3,6,0,12,5,0,3,1,33,37,18,1,5,8,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,11,2,1,6,0,0,7,7,7,0,0,5,3,36,5,25,31,2,22,0,3,0,2,10,7,0,3,9,114,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075318734007374,0.12489458393780273,0.0,0.09643555704072436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200514609415335,0.0,0.0,0.13623206125461698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265960266040321,0.2781781577602687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665180940645222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387736767870742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515309267714184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467867815347588,0.0,0.13564720621192794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908030735625762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292136013490104,0.08614932142493614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300315253889717,0.0,0.2741356718026776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905738461538445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082874867165313,0.0,0.12096132335710585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627295746610892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517608684428937,0.058914046901360075,0.0,0.3194488012485608,0.1067181091499648,0.0,0.0,0.26327585308738394,0.0,0.21767386431531455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123322484464046,0.0,0.12816779017142413,0.08864732083247992,0.08941575080681721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842411820760388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360172950793171,0.10529429380630877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725750397947453,0.0,0.12398631830965637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073134867543613,0.12204323654732335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975306410082037,0.0,0.0,0.12292603526185862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684378736658565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540073215338727,0.0,0.13790485649850365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187250545724227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949914975016272,0.07112694235238658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558150752910873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,incelraidlmao,2019/02/26,"We need an option to escape. First off here are my extreme beliefs 

Antinatalism 

Everyone over the age of 18 who is still alive is a psychopath.

People will ignore pessimistic ideas or things even though it's part of the equation. 

Religion is an opioid for the masses

There is no free will.

Western governments hold off on information for the public because that information is pessimistic or nihilistic. 

The world is nihilistic. 

Religion in today's world isn't even that big of a deal for control. Modern technology controls people even better mentally and physically. 

We all are numbers, good luck surviving. 
Security has taken over freedom 

Science leads to nihilistic thoughts, so post modernism has taken the lead to prevent that freedom of thought. 

Controlling biology is the best way to control people 
Using societal pressure to influence ideas.


There is no bad or good. Only lucky and unlucky. 
Never feel bad about anything. There is no free will. You are a slave. 

If you just so happen to get in front of a more powerful person's agenda, you will get consequences. 

All morals are permitted and power is the name of the game.
",4.988296243120363,8.14196301507538,5.360990667623836,73.50510887772195,74.62814070351759,8.21258674324001,31.58674324000957,8.976282227363876,3.4815798516391485,916,44,136,22,21,291,120,199,0.099,0.703,0.198,0.9735,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,2,3,0,12,13,13,0,1,15,0,21,0,0,9,3,38,31,10,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,6,5,0,8,8,1,2,3,5,4,0,1,4,1,6,11,23,23,5,23,2,0,0,0,14,11,0,7,7,100,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688879831483183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21690625188336912,0.07918003149779017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631204599714558,0.1148775748324912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.582732876130316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391138223625162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573743126326887,0.0,0.0,0.12411592074174847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567652986637748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048477661663972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572483037558586,0.0,0.0,0.2178919453712473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486172320439085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932610850063556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308990540825221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631214567928467,0.10017954628958918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878756374008377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065873297494055,0.0,0.2701491139565821,0.11341535772797465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439917556428842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373070575582906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629346382405377,0.0,0.12761673789917544,0.20623706570052205,0.0,0.0,0.12312098810618018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218367109026206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103101017757377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,huntobuno,2019/02/26,"I need help with my depressed/anxious SO My girlfriend (23f) and I (24m) have been together for nearly two years and for the majority of the time it has been bliss. She is an incredible, smart, determined and beautiful woman that I love with all of my being. She also suffers from intense depression (self harm was a big part of her life until that last few years) and anxiety which at times puts a lot of stress on our relationship due to these afflictions. I am fairly new to handling mental health issues like depression and anxiety and would love to get some general tips on how to help her with her really difficult bouts of depression and anxiety attacks. What can I say to help ease her anxiety during a spike? How can I help her deal with depression when she doesn't want to get out of bed? 

I appreciate any help I can get, I have been lucky enough in my life to not deal with issues like this so I am quite clueless. Thank you!",5.303882783882784,6.155472813186817,6.015109890109893,78.95072344322345,68.12087912087911,10.242490842490843,29.452380952380953,10.317481424215053,2.9285589743589755,740,26,145,19,12,242,111,182,0.181,0.588,0.231,0.9073,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,1,0,1,6,16,1,1,6,0,16,5,0,2,1,24,24,14,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,1,3,1,1,2,7,13,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,9,0,1,4,1,24,7,28,18,7,17,0,5,0,2,24,7,0,3,11,102,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437540379670804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025326978487296,0.0,0.3611202111037973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425746504976674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433336032545611,0.4065796359823179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193955772563445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18497164771329294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544289904255476,0.0,0.0,0.3955100187293217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463509980396829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619680501014913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16671293942666068,0.11531093169848275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033091116686724,0.2130236965611387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892991454721526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875055617153286,0.0,0.11397823465853055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779718853035527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118636226508962,0.0,0.12552195096374266,0.0,0.0,0.07560251045008502,0.0,0.0,0.12670240145688672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938491221173427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311388414475324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518413783744854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865103330644278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376293154002866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528210313510727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960745715915695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383344927192149,0.0,0.0,0.15199373085615758
mentalhealth,breadxgoat12345,2019/02/26,"Strange emotional issues as a 21f. I have begun to have these weird mood swings (minor) from an overwhelming feeling of regret and confusing sadness, I feel like I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing at my age (I get extremely upset over dumb things). & then these times of “happy” feelings where I feel like everything is going great and I’m right where I am supposed  to be life. I keep going between these feelings of serve hopefulness and contentment to overwhelming anxiety and uneasiness. I’m not sure what’s going on, my mother is bi polar and depressive and so is her mother. My father has anxiety issues and depression (brought on by family members passing away young). I’m very scared I might be developing things similar to my parents. I lost all interest In sex/masterbation & I feel like I’m losing the ability to stay rational at times. I try to keep my self in check by asking myself if this is a normal thing to be upset about but I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able too do this. It’s hurting my relationship and making my day to day life hard.",4.0303124120461575,5.902777564593303,5.408533633549116,78.18326484660854,72.39712918660288,8.936785814804391,28.08359133126935,9.478462496947786,2.7476099634112012,857,33,155,21,17,287,121,209,0.17600000000000002,0.731,0.093,-0.9117,1,0,0,1,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,6,25,1,6,4,0,17,3,0,2,3,31,41,14,0,4,5,4,7,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,11,8,0,2,6,0,1,5,3,15,0,0,2,7,19,9,26,33,2,25,0,9,0,1,8,11,1,4,11,98,30,0,0.11688762132456125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25329537774005945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17883742075560127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927414726943392,0.0,0.10981976793962928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076569176539228,0.0,0.2013502739394705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148284134641475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505105708918364,0.0,0.11019124665289956,0.0,0.3546113605305157,0.2505136200885529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610689577834251,0.0,0.1992897866251159,0.0,0.0,0.12886901515988175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442904641648216,0.10470834963818383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160957820763182,0.0,0.0,0.12513061615522889,0.0,0.0,0.2440006166108592,0.0,0.2077901769901108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512236743835512,0.1713161626721129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076734956658015,0.1275966464349731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802339488139927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239992946277294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592585093563665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452505130617766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978987076355233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549356133145045,0.0,0.0998213899480629,0.0,0.0,0.11702490015629367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193928128449785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458665193909114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203303995804428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329648252868814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631622395940496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935902217440194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644452905476372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OtakuTightPants,2019/02/26,"Anxiety - Natracalms Passiflora I used to take Natracalms Passiflora tablets when I was in a ridiculously poor state with my mental health. Long story short I have a history with abuse, ptsd, anxiety and depression and I wasn't in a place where I fully knew what was going on so my mum bought me a pack of the herbal Natracalms. (please no hate on my mum for opting herbal - she didn't know the extent of my problems then.) 

They really took the edge off. Like more than I expected and I was pretty functional even though I was still suffering. Years later I've tried 3 kinds of prescribed antidepressants and got off them and done a load of therapy but my anxiety has got pretty severe again for seemingly no reason and I'm really struggling. I was getting so scared until I remembered how much natracalms helped back then but I can't find them anywhere!

TLDR: Do they still sell Natracalms Passiflora tablets? If not does anyone know a good herbal alternative (or any other advice) because I can only seem to find ones with very different ingredients? Thank you you'll be saving me. ",4.590505555555552,7.084293395000002,5.381333333333334,76.27122222222225,72.55,9.644444444444446,27.11111111111111,9.994966539143718,3.1209777777777785,869,32,150,26,18,282,128,200,0.18,0.745,0.075,-0.9498,1,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,2,4,0,11,12,2,2,9,0,15,1,0,3,0,28,31,18,0,3,5,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,9,0,3,2,6,7,0,1,13,0,26,5,19,16,3,23,0,2,0,0,10,9,0,4,12,99,28,0,0.0,0.15498307385057342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782157603281022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895219441765365,0.0,0.3001974434719908,0.0,0.0,0.0914622150078928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058132019920614,0.0,0.0797377908341552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266254609657972,0.0,0.0,0.1366638591963782,0.0,0.0,0.11446873451909573,0.1338593944077815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863957688935017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23910763093482265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683404510630417,0.0,0.07433975407777617,0.10971340902374216,0.2092341421799208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914330536044372,0.0,0.13904008115630315,0.0,0.0,0.08767613874038528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621375174255546,0.14377451362356666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390493772041674,0.0,0.0,0.11575871082642765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182113213875415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615705956113246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886371610890017,0.09948344229621092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366638591963782,0.14358510865405255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661523448161797,0.0,0.12516315407940762,0.152904576182468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675946469482359,0.13448979261309993,0.0,0.0,0.14817708069502364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095907892600653,0.0,0.0,0.2381607457266797,0.0,0.14777293103929204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20892280950578898,0.0,0.0,0.1367462617179935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834942267571067,0.0,0.0,0.12042808803007027,0.14958743677267966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851569469034194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532967265717953,0.08880831715769914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297391439725092,0.0,0.10792819883286237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423442392829386
mentalhealth,regginn,2019/02/26,"Insecure about everything I just have so much insecurity about every little thing. I’ll feel ok about myself and I’ll see someone who’s better looking or skinner and I just fucking go into a depression. It’s the same way with art. I get so excited about doing it and then I see someone who’s better at art than I am and it makes me cry because I’m shit at art. I feel like I have 0 good quality’s. I have an ugly face, body, no personality, I have too many mental health problems, I’m not creative or artistic. All I do is sleep and eat. Those are the only 2 good things I do. I’ve tried every kind of art and I fucking get insecure about it and stop doing it. I’ve tried making jewelry, water color painting, acrylic painting, and embroidery. Name it I’ve probably tried it and given up because I’m too insecure about it. ",1.077013391466835,3.4180429112426047,3.6588290252257885,84.67311429461229,84.38461538461539,6.3981314232326385,24.279352226720647,7.669130373188453,1.5048627218934914,648,26,128,12,19,226,93,169,0.2,0.691,0.109,-0.9441,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,12,17,3,4,4,1,11,9,4,2,1,25,27,14,0,1,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,13,11,2,1,2,5,0,1,2,9,0,0,1,6,14,8,13,26,3,9,0,1,4,2,4,5,3,2,3,78,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537226343991102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25443713441088994,0.0,0.15977855631303733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800617590409013,0.0,0.0,0.12389285875096835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718859870649226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24239000241878145,0.0,0.12927795451127824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454639696356648,0.1027623750445126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26596341899999776,0.1503053879729056,0.0,0.08175001338638535,0.241299497627426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289973227352802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497916715827907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027504434080406,0.14416974752618428,0.0,0.0,0.1207929584774828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920343340425384,0.14583551226662886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496119136575425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574208919353993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940004900917777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559926800583066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508845179179953,0.13763953954930636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292505188066033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476540757915776,0.0,0.0,0.1439481523524501,0.0,0.2437575659187339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026025042362247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19112748232888427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929824509051473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417688592087945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kinorynn,2019/02/26,"Dealing with setbacks I saw a doctor about my anxiety today and she said she thinks it would be bad for me to start uni this year and that I should take a year out to get better. I’m so upset. Thinking that I was going to uni this year was the only thing that got me out of bed and motivated me to do well in school. I know taking a gap year is normal and that nobody cares how old you are but I was so excited to go :(

Has anyone dealt with this? Any reassuring words?",2.8101571428571432,3.471945530000003,4.495428571428572,88.27700000000002,73.7,7.314285714285713,21.285714285714285,7.447530270364453,0.4813714285714283,363,7,83,4,7,123,69,100,0.08800000000000001,0.7659999999999999,0.146,0.7342,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,5,7,0,1,4,0,10,1,0,2,0,18,24,8,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,9,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,6,2,12,5,13,15,0,12,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,7,57,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103358119963784,0.0,0.14740481799477712,0.0,0.0,0.1347310390192798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608853676926722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704157506396421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196456959069484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19865155367580428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972230289121185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100670861491549,0.0,0.21901661372343104,0.0,0.1541091770616737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589558542466472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18879208022911376,0.0,0.0,0.20219230555668552,0.0,0.0,0.14654693793088652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18328920125661374,0.0,0.0,0.19500925378060455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638465642661216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897528756088257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801249882158589,0.24693174736294965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826444859947966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324850743307094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687912170886551,0.0,0.0,0.4963357362849848
mentalhealth,honeyouwillfall,2019/02/26,"Hi. Please help. Hi everyone, I'm sorry to ask here but honestly no one can help me where I am. My psy is not listening, my family doesnt exist, my friends cant help me. Where can I search what's happening?   
I'm 26, I've been diagnose as borderline, I take Seroquel 50 mg XR and Klonopin if necesary, and I'm usually fine with this but, when I have a big event, like a test (exam) or something important, I collapse, and I've read that this could be a burnout or a side effect of the Seroquel.   
It's when there's a moment of big stress and I start to panic and the anxiety strikes up, and suddenly all the sounds and the movements and the lights are too much. I usually use cotton for my ears and take Klonopin to calm down. After the event (like an exam),  I'm burned, I cant think about anything, I can barely absorbe information or speak, I usually end up crying and feeling extremely anguished. After a day, Im better,  I'm getting back to function again like a person, but, I dont know why this happen.   
",4.3985666041275815,4.723727663414637,5.6985365853658525,82.29362101313322,69.92682926829268,9.23452157598499,30.891181988742968,9.265573868473778,2.538737335834896,781,31,163,15,13,263,123,205,0.153,0.69,0.157,-0.3117,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,3,10,11,0,3,14,0,14,2,1,2,1,27,31,20,0,2,8,0,1,3,1,0,1,4,0,1,6,11,0,0,5,1,0,1,6,3,0,1,1,6,17,8,15,28,2,25,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,4,19,97,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179395938136613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202578199585948,0.0,0.1366178233801205,0.0,0.0,0.1123698845815457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924578561352182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667803813148755,0.0,0.16052399256732394,0.09424589971221632,0.0,0.0,0.14832538759760489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712707929225781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943349030301568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963960944339007,0.0,0.0,0.13776440859467629,0.0,0.07389096358734305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290463364014235,0.0,0.07635024657655448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584559027141929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938564806457106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785240801655226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803127532510533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21418461583955545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074270815215503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902581852654592,0.0,0.0,0.17145959906593194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760068300157734,0.0,0.16041390245354853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617596407277392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125029537576386,0.0,0.16358775500725936,0.10343610845432806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739877248311466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197527980910016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363831559305437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262149442501025,0.4828458535792096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186538671251866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bennyp251,2019/02/26,"Mental Illness to Them (Short Video) Hello Reddit, my younger sister made a video about mental health and how prominent it is in teenagers across the world. If you could please take 2 minutes and give it a watch!

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[https://youtu.be/LvLAudKU8Ho](https://youtu.be/LvLAudKU8Ho)",10.921097560975607,15.301039097560976,4.812378048780489,78.81661585365855,60.463414634146346,6.051219512195122,27.32317073170732,7.1686216300943375,1.524653658536585,237,7,31,2,4,57,36,41,0.063,0.8220000000000001,0.115,0.2942,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,2,0,6,5,4,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,4,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,1,0,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944281918088933,0.3301916176944509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21696081584186228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26067601207190744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28884496584038083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571252251880137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5476963202697707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982869073396468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043132843201667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3301916176944509,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwinbbbddd,2019/02/26,"Abuse recovery, gaslighting and a bad memory, how can I snap back to reality? *Whoops there goes gravity.* I'm sort of freaking out because I was talking to someone I trust earlier and she remembers a conversation we had a good deal differently than I do. I take her word for it because she has no motivation to lie about it and it's freaking me out a lot. I have lots of memories of being abused as a child and my parents tried to gaslight me my whole life. I have a horrible memory from my substance use issues. I know for a fact that my mom did things like scream about how she wished she never had me and scream that she'd kill herself if I left the house to get coffee instead of staying so she could hurl insult after brutal insult at me. I feel like if I wasn't in therapy at the time of this I'd probably already doubt that that even happened. My mom swears it never happened. The further back I go the less I trust my memory. I have a lot of memories of my childhood but I pretty much have a hard time believing anything from my childhood even happened at all, or even most of my teen years for that matter. I occasionally get this paranoia that reality is so far apart from what I think that I'd never be able to tell. What if people I used to know never existed and I just spent that time babbling to myself like a lunatic? It's not a thought I take too seriously or have often but it just shows how extreme my paranoia and distrust of my own sense can go. I also had an abusive ex boyfriend but I spend all this time agonizing of which details really happened and it was about a year ago when I dumped him. I feel sick to my stomach of the silliest conversation right now. She probably has no idea I'm freaking out about that little misunderstanding hours later and honestly I don't want to tell her because I want honesty so I can my basic abilities of understanding reality and if I tell her she might be afraid to correct me if I say something and she said it didn't happen like that at all. I'm not really sure if I should make as big a deal of this as I am, she said she easily could have just misremembered herself but I'm a burnout and she's not so I'm going to believe her over myself because it happened a few months ago and I can't really say I'm sure what happened even though I thought I was before",2.986174445709331,4.6699390718816085,4.657124735729387,83.27497750311707,74.77167019027483,7.811112918089662,27.561608933701955,8.5409612609427,2.0007851574781808,1843,73,374,35,39,622,208,473,0.173,0.743,0.084,-0.9909,2,0,1,0,2,0,23.0,1,0,0,2,28,25,6,2,21,0,33,3,1,7,11,79,70,38,1,12,18,4,3,4,0,2,2,6,0,1,28,17,0,0,11,1,2,3,13,15,0,0,14,9,74,10,49,48,12,42,0,0,0,0,39,16,0,16,26,274,102,2,0.07284014267168548,0.2589109744730209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913678311145882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038090872309439,0.058250235778128163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059941231036417075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201914712169306,0.060818476596065374,0.17761069957959288,0.0,0.06198159648359651,0.1641317946757327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163138537339755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501899773891521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761024458578257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924409090516063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366032947241806,0.052037012478800784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611193635987046,0.0,0.12419019504619636,0.061094855795848176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4508860832441429,0.0,0.06525046057173381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173286800221304,0.08404774493836675,0.0,0.08222765494369456,0.0,0.07602618448605394,0.0,0.0,0.08058682570123654,0.0,0.0800620749561174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914102814016731,0.0,0.05144914690794957,0.14234405764665028,0.07300495874911386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18577825353394595,0.0,0.0,0.04862136084632749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727188054236056,0.0,0.17061898949640578,0.05814030694504261,0.0,0.05354588595792222,0.0,0.22471523392304688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088035838719093,0.0,0.0,0.05049818349926481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410461160108768,0.15706798714436127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998978172179646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251368230981843,0.0622050838498415,0.13857531181121338,0.11585081008355365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171721651052185,0.05607590047605883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763790039864672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373019448807674,0.0,0.10953344444300668,0.05854614754393525,0.19099648576290404,0.0,0.08329905122645237,0.0,0.04839175417404397,0.04667302226796323,0.07156507034532653,0.11565387391685515,0.16989469182708186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945367552153485,0.0,0.0,0.07582915736682648,0.0,0.12582099253335405,0.0,0.0,0.08592600674156332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813234180214777,0.08376256930178201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381332744535884
mentalhealth,demo_con,2019/02/26,"Sudden urges to be physical but I'm not angry? I've been getting these urges recently out of nowhere to be really physically violent, it's always internal and any of the damage I want to do is to myself, but I don't understand where it's coming from and why. I've had issues with anxiety in the past, but it's never been to the point that I feel like my entire body is telling me to start screaming or throwing things and beating myself. It's so intense at times when I can't distract myself that I feel like my brain is spasming. I don't think I plan on doing anything actually harmful to myself, but it just kind of hits me like a brick when it does come. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this before?

TLDR: Been experiencing random intense urges to become violent with myself, wondering if anyone has any experience with stuff like this before ",7.313186077643909,6.964569301204822,8.165983935742974,69.36810575635879,63.81927710843375,10.751271753681392,34.107095046854084,10.25414643259724,3.5281279785809905,688,26,119,14,9,233,98,166,0.136,0.7120000000000001,0.152,-0.4284,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,6,12,2,1,4,0,16,2,2,0,2,26,28,12,0,2,8,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,13,9,0,0,5,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,4,5,16,6,19,21,0,18,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,4,14,85,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.14829775103787496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644861596393284,0.0,0.0,0.20668537584892785,0.0,0.11625424540132127,0.0,0.0,0.21251754842745127,0.0,0.2501115836715712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783547686205408,0.2586252398718043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688009425173335,0.0,0.16964529384939445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618120179460498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298723866184362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374627410440774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865276643624975,0.0,0.0,0.15367803880206574,0.21713033542309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939642133689036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586139379650167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825011771219008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712167012241051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720622445482133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450695800660414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14365781935409794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735387311560774,0.0,0.1500489581950296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756293812428876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396571707855346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282574922104914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009600408920711,0.09737423900325484,0.0,0.0,0.08861310840539947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820287896635934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963400172599753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371264700852206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16480159626855648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaydreamsstuff,2019/02/26,"Breakdown has messed up my appearance :( Okay, so im 18 (f) and i went through a pretty severe mental breakdown over the past few months. I have struggled with depression for quite a while and it just all came to a head and exploded out of me. I finally feel as though im back to a manageable state of mind.  HOWEVER - i despise how i look, and its all i can think about. Before this break down, i was generally good looking. I had long, blonde hair, clear skin, an amazing figure (apologies if i sound self absorbed) i was happy with how i looked. However, my breakdown resulted in 50% of my hair falling out, me chopping it to chin length, adding a fringe, and dying it black! I also gained a little bit of weight, im not noticeably overweight or anything, but im not happy with how my body carries the weight (all in my stomach, with stick legs and arms) i also have completely messed up my skin somehow, as my face is covered in scars from spots. I just look like an actual gremlin, and i feel as though i used to look really pretty before. 
I understand that looks aren't everything , but its really hard for me to feel happy when im walking around like this. I don't have any money to change anything like getting extensions or a gym membership, as I've been off work because of my breakdown. 
I just don't know how to feel attractive again. I don't have any friends who can help me boost my confidence, i only have my boyfriend, but he has commented a few times now on how im not as pretty as i used to be. 
Im not sure if i wanted to vent, or if i need advice, but anything would be helpful right now. Im really sorry if this is totally vain!",3.4038972809667705,4.702299564954687,4.6533583081571015,85.28220060422962,72.98791540785498,8.075456193353475,27.439395770392753,8.608573733854374,1.9267340422960728,1280,47,263,23,25,423,172,331,0.085,0.732,0.183,0.9899,2,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,3,21,18,1,1,12,1,22,13,10,8,6,62,43,36,1,7,18,0,11,3,1,1,1,1,0,1,10,15,3,0,8,1,1,5,8,6,0,0,6,20,38,12,41,34,7,32,0,1,8,0,8,14,0,9,14,171,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.07006555968828536,0.0,0.0,0.07016124477490979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483542084638484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976516935482062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17725361280087512,0.06391641694451343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05520907224981062,0.0,0.043768061967016283,0.0,0.12219148337931993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838601606301585,0.07975260872544472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211903731441049,0.0,0.0,0.07595392241143648,0.0,0.0752799851931616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618404554143323,0.0,0.0745161251141887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452839705701194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521511924634328,0.0,0.0,0.07865239918647428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547180278051751,0.0,0.037512063799237085,0.0,0.0,0.06022167449749395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292944155461004,0.06431788644355149,0.0,0.07368658562746491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625083999127217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6204427480865204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03945890496666756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523223348247468,0.07196155560434075,0.0,0.06353993979104304,0.361758940994669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235660054855544,0.0,0.07249661844491452,0.0,0.057309352717494766,0.0,0.0,0.05323811926476536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174374566966207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054606447226119466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854036052425197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21913647591785565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636717558014554,0.0,0.0,0.13798901655478102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131603492464656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490211500577951,0.08111254068008293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037320870278201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506000346911137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676697974385295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04600596102931757,0.14108449281320312,0.0,0.04186662975460309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474539014583613,0.0,0.12402273085993902,0.0,0.0,0.04234896654925527,0.0,0.0,0.17486391012253374,0.0,0.06655848049598745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052270596366838916,0.0,0.0,0.05100401715304221,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,c0nnecti0n,2019/02/26,"i need advice/tips to keep this post short, lately my depression/anxiety/bpd have been through the roof, and i’ve been struggling to do every day activities like doing my laundry, taking showers, or eating. it’s hard to take care of myself when i don’t care about myself... do you guys have any tips on how to make small things like these a little easier? ",15.001304347826085,7.287073840579712,13.256304347826088,61.469673913043486,56.97101449275362,16.118840579710145,44.64492753623188,11.20814326018867,4.8191971014492765,281,7,53,4,2,90,55,69,0.059,0.745,0.196,0.866,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,8,1,0,2,0,6,15,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,7,4,8,13,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247100869074598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28238560960314596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571956354913943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459739490844778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294235868377421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890723961377368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220039076813227,0.0,0.0,0.2008488059260144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19928882976300746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529195088137173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21907610887714074,0.2247180887760566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496624266390716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624944125705066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147319352563125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234393772917347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371571837589676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489556695440762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blurry-bandito,2019/02/26,Self harm in our society I think that it’s so sad that we live in 2019 and majority of people still think that self-harm and suicide attempts are just attention seeking. When will people finally open their eyes and see that mental illness is real and it sucks. It doesn’t mean that if you don’t have any experience with it that it’s not there. It is and for some people mental illness is their everyday life and it affects them in many ways. ,3.8027597402597375,5.498699340909095,4.599220779220778,84.47954545454547,72.63636363636364,7.755844155844157,26.20779220779221,8.418075326091056,1.7137610389610392,354,12,70,6,7,114,58,88,0.207,0.7929999999999999,0.0,-0.9633,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,2,1,3,1,5,3,1,0,0,0,8,4,1,1,0,19,13,9,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,13,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,7,0,6,12,2,9,0,1,2,0,7,4,1,2,4,48,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630503425442894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960672866949116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195705486666867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157562040849556,0.0,0.0,0.1769908429353466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20321315049566194,0.0,0.21833625650567545,0.0,0.0,0.40398967218878507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4168763966797168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22814286264570854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972351128811846,0.0,0.41820208050163377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007042261661422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192471558334447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568657589502398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909872939140768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayaccounttoas,2019/02/26,"Feeling suicidal from thinking I’m always doing things wrong. I know this may seem insignificant to some of you guys, but I’ve struggled with depression for a long time and I find myself feeling suicidal over minor inconveniences that others would brush off.

Today I had a meeting with my research advisor and we have a pretty close relationship where we joke and get personal about a lot of things so I didn’t seem to think anything of what I was doing at the time. He stuttered a few times on a specific word and I repeated the word he was fumbling over each time but I laughed after I’d repeat it just because he would tease me in the past (out of love though) only this time he got serious and told me that he didn’t like when people tease him but he let it slide because I was one of his special students. 

I honestly didn’t mean to upset him. That would never be my intention especially since my friends and I always poke fun at eachother over little things like that.

I’ve been having racing thoughts since that meeting and feeling like maybe I shouldn’t be here. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything right and end up upsetting someone. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.",6.779714854111407,6.618264146551727,6.781206896551727,78.23063660477456,64.86206896551724,9.724668435013264,33.79442970822281,9.265573868473778,2.891376923076924,950,37,180,15,13,303,134,232,0.159,0.649,0.192,0.8719,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,1,0,0,7,21,2,3,9,0,23,1,0,1,1,44,40,14,2,4,4,0,4,4,1,5,0,0,0,2,15,16,0,0,13,1,0,1,7,10,0,1,11,5,27,11,25,21,4,29,0,1,0,1,22,14,0,5,18,122,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18999692173079136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790411672187105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391937613217389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833432420947802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011205993838524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309108256143025,0.1631259268054317,0.0,0.0,0.10434917421957177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820734262961813,0.0,0.059649034255751875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131205837996316,0.0,0.0,0.1130461009124422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254895271370849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167464065118725,0.0,0.2231104863900013,0.1144281828457493,0.0,0.10103672422527228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706312342061453,0.10304274679834426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146989594449748,0.12436443630799494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805482639863776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736444486228622,0.08683131534986223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898804007941143,0.07915099842313399,0.09968870897865156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161517818966704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257569165144105,0.0,0.09750042778828674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20787188640475224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888495885955867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673574311392116,0.0,0.1129169006200957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193551157869628,0.0,0.2497665700029872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275481250753231,0.14631085935945548,0.11217129760988097,0.0906381077267424,0.3328667873048336,0.0,0.10821966793879458,0.1090941839827189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433089564966547,0.24965361581969014,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,haileysmith0802,2019/02/26,I can’t tell if I’m depressed So I will be going to a doctor soon to talk to them about my mental health but before doing so I just wanted to know more how I’m feeling. I do get sad but I feel like my main problem is my motivation. I just feel so unmotivated and lazy. I’m 20 and since I was 16 I just feel like doing nothing. I would be content staying in my bed and just going in my phone all day. I know loss of motivation is apart of depression but I feel like it’s my main symptom. I’m struggle in school right now because I force myself to go but I just procrastinate. I currently have an exam and 9 page essay tomorrow that I’ve barely started. Does anyone else relate? Could this be another disorder or am I just lazy. I feel like I used to be a very motivated and hard working person until about 16. ,0.7828070175438597,2.8848947953216384,3.5723099415204693,86.37144736842106,83.50292397660819,6.139181286549706,21.780701754385966,7.3871296695380915,0.8753298245614034,634,21,134,10,18,224,100,171,0.2,0.6629999999999999,0.13699999999999998,-0.919,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,5,14,10,0,1,3,0,16,3,0,5,1,35,35,16,0,5,12,0,7,4,0,2,3,0,1,1,3,5,0,0,11,0,0,3,1,6,0,0,1,7,25,4,14,27,5,16,0,4,0,0,5,5,0,2,11,88,28,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380396338473184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589195406179968,0.14051683601830509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359968731348094,0.0,0.1166966201357022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094956759407253,0.0,0.0,0.08844439501118108,0.0,0.23623813820486025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717510374846566,0.14036929994775418,0.12001273565340873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456344293351695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160546989034892,0.3918933246479067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716503464663997,0.0,0.2338206312533465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285111457292686,0.0,0.0,0.1457741327808271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507378654065933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680000414019955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820555238393262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315901838078222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974595441869558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312251121425036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711739374857165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879369253939808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344418994741727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970688811130118,0.14617372066807147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336921804980432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425416796117357,0.0,0.1102284860015104,0.11986700144790224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844551773241012,0.0,0.1131554258068264,0.08088912788130369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984005038308533,0.0,0.0,0.09742080627054144,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Strange_W-_Charm,2019/02/26,"Productivity vs Well-being (warning: self harm) Sorry not sure if this is the right place for this but just need to share my thoughts 

I am currently at university (the year before my final one). I used to be a very productive student (got high marks in my exams etc) and I really enjoy learning about my subject. I also did a fair amount of voluntary work. However nearly a year ago I became very stressed and started to self harm. I found it helped and just ignored that part that told me it was bad. I think the punishment drove me forward. 

Before Christmas it became very bad and I had to go the doctors. However I still managed to do my exams and get good marks in them. I only told on of my friends (not particularly close.) I hate the idea of my closer friends/family knowing as I am aware how much it will hurt them. After Christmas I went to the universities counselling sessions for a bit and that helped at lot. I haven't hurt myself in a few weeks. 

However my motivation/productivity has collapsed. I don't care about doing uni work (but I want to care!!) I still do a a bit of voluntary work. Most of my time is spent going on walks, listening to music and doing some flat cleaning/cooking. I hoped that failing at things in uni would motivate me but it isn't working. My parents know I am not doing much and are very supportive but I just feel really guilty about wasting time and money (they pay for my accommodation.)   

Do I face a choice between my productivity and my well-being? Am I just to weak to cope with normal life without self harm / alcohol / other additive thing? 

If you are hurting like I am please talk to someone, don't let your thoughts just spiral inside your head.   ",3.6093774574049817,5.634662492354742,4.842318698121449,81.1463876146789,73.92354740061162,7.6072083879423325,27.274901703800783,8.418075326091056,2.010684665792923,1333,51,251,24,28,440,175,327,0.206,0.696,0.098,-0.992,5,0,1,0,0,2,44.0,0,3,3,6,12,24,2,1,14,0,27,6,2,3,1,51,53,19,0,7,16,1,1,1,1,2,4,1,0,3,14,13,1,1,10,0,3,6,8,14,0,1,12,2,46,10,37,37,11,33,0,4,0,0,18,16,0,6,14,175,60,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213032739910958,0.09901671391854774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409369848409178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472094857554813,0.0,0.0,0.15767990155132106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023037768916788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892959314710034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483315528269626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333137042268456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734397438666247,0.0,0.04684758927806339,0.0,0.0,0.10149563797338597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158803641687957,0.07158263538018912,0.0,0.048406798602230856,0.0,0.10531243056803197,0.07771202577632047,0.07410219587130693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147457876218416,0.0950875891351858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420524372342895,0.0978918292386119,0.0,0.0920242516904736,0.0,0.0,0.29755735589988475,0.1045927280991312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183813271424913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474285473464203,0.06544278366153346,0.04526504291092159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876934012007232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621962816911168,0.06870021684233367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077919936260896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627833316691286,0.07046595216421743,0.0,0.0,0.10287898078991056,0.10033298903260499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680152538384892,0.10170397369026092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187103713165653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912422439804775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899684444479679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850366217959646,0.0,0.0,0.10371622706532514,0.0655794983599269,0.0,0.14798386908259967,0.0,0.10613244919550957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514028882810512,0.08732332813230273,0.0,0.0,0.07447009519495003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310762334233155,0.05936760243230204,0.0,0.14711053351186965,0.10805214693233993,0.0,0.0,0.17706573991068308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002150170897619,0.0,0.3057901142375847,0.05464849670052286,0.0,0.07431977305481631,0.0,0.16661038722021412,0.08588924826645503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931313438391256,0.0,0.2698067741289703,0.0,0.0,0.06581725813449525,0.0,0.0,0.1193295839007702
mentalhealth,SdP01,2019/02/26,"Need a stress reliever So I recently quit weed because it was making me unmotivated and lazy. And my sister has gone schizophrenic from smoking weed. So I'm at risk for that too. I'm 18, I'm in college taking really hard classes. I don't jack off because I have ED. I have no significant other. Even though I'm a handsome young man I struggle to find a women in my area because of my anxiety. I'm on anti anxiety meds. I have no job because I'm to physically hurt right now to have one. I lost it because of a shoulder injury so I can't preform my labour job. All this stress is making me feel like I'm going insane and it's keeping me from doing my college work. Does anybody have some advice on how to relieve stress in a none physical way? 

Sorry English is not my first language ",1.6806288819875803,3.8287080372670808,4.1654309006211205,83.12094138198759,80.42857142857143,6.509472049689442,26.83268633540373,7.6454224807358475,1.7471394409937884,618,27,120,10,16,216,98,161,0.241,0.6779999999999999,0.081,-0.9727,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,8,11,0,5,5,0,12,2,1,3,1,13,28,8,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,6,7,0,2,3,2,17,4,16,25,3,16,0,2,0,0,3,9,0,1,5,75,23,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008419106904427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21933133844307326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4369373416178221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545033925797205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468418222388117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248425600158886,0.10241236120138823,0.0,0.0,0.1310232595213128,0.1219371189198397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147156870905631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841732102417855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346377399973324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845141029717367,0.12741991424950885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003568398800174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564881842132791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19138025539516448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592343424748523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629541843460756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714060329393973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524749746058951,0.0,0.0,0.09183645388326046,0.0,0.14154510538214954,0.0,0.0,0.1224238135959073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047343459874022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4926356981936653,0.14986507011589212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778461465768513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408449002831233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378799367680835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436365877253737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chewy959,2019/02/26,"Lately I’ve been down Alright I have Depression and Anxiety and take Lexapro. 
I write music, poetry, exercise and work my dream job.

I feel like my success and being able to do all my things I love is uncomfortable.

Like there is nothing else to do in the world? And I’m 22. ",0.9103896103896076,3.418414272727276,2.9215584415584424,88.1109090909091,88.0909090909091,6.779220779220778,22.402597402597397,7.957251820313856,1.4683506493506493,215,8,44,5,7,72,40,55,0.123,0.616,0.26,0.836,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,1,1,7,2,0,0,1,8,11,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,7,5,4,9,1,4,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,27,8,3,0.31196971975892424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386559817169039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26869906249465303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606106697784869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577412639513749,0.2228712301302729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095818091432821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519154323325943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30482529374997785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815648521934962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29934335997855793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23456240414804636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20725881958201714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271176715259266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShyBertHerb,2019/02/26,"I am an Evil manipulative person I am 26 years old, I am achieved nothing in my life, I cannot seem to be able to care for people, my ex girlfriend I think I loved her but I treated her so bad, I was so manipulative and I demanded sex all the time and pressured her, I smoke, drink and gamble my money away, I dislike men who I deem as more attractive or taller, I feel ugly and stupid. 

I hate myself, I hate that I am not successful I hate that I am lazy I hate that after I feel like I can work on myself I do exactly the same evil shit. I look at hardcore porn and often chain masturbate, I have taken drugs, I take care of my Grandmother right now and hiding my drinking and late nights at the casino is hard.

I really want to be better, to be normal and kind and reasonable but I cannot seem to do it, I feel like I need to be better than people to be happy, I want the prettiest girls and to be the most witty and charming person. 

I am told I am charming but my charm is a lie, it is a weapon I use to manipulate people and to dominate people, I can be brutally honest and unnecesarily offensive, I can be warm and charming to people I feel like i need to be, while spitting on the rest.

I wish I could laugh at normal jokes, and share interests and hobbies, all i am is a drunken bore who spends evening after evening watching people play video games instead of being productive, I tortured and killed insects in my youth and bullied my now male to female transgender sister constantly which has affected her confidence I am sure.

I am a sexual deviant and a demanding lover, I pity myself and pity others for being lesser than me, ( in my eyes)  i spend all my money, I cannot organise myself, I never finish anything I start, I hate my body, I hate that I have a small penis 4.5"" I hate that I am only 5'9 and I resent people who I deem to be more attractive.

I try and care, I try and love but I cannot, I am selfish and incapable of sharing my emotions with others properly, often people's behaviour confuses me and I am even unkind to people on the internet.

I sorely want to change but I feel the best thing for me is to be alone, to bring children into the world would be unfair I am not a good person, to date anymore women would be unfair, I will only hurt them.

I have never been diagnosed but I think I am a sociopath, I think that I cannot change that reality, I wish I could love and laugh and be normal and care and be gentle without faking it. I wish I was a Man not a boy I hope that one day I will make it but it seems doubtful 

Sorry for the long text, sorry for the repition. I think I need help? 

J.
",2.9312547425474267,4.143747588888889,4.886585365853659,83.48670731707318,74.03703703703705,7.712737127371273,24.83739837398373,8.25429008570747,1.485535230352303,2038,63,419,33,41,702,231,540,0.241,0.515,0.244,0.6762,0,1,4,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,1,6,10,64,17,3,22,0,60,16,4,7,7,92,104,41,1,17,12,2,7,3,2,4,4,0,0,10,20,31,2,0,13,7,6,1,11,28,0,1,5,10,101,36,45,76,9,35,0,3,3,6,30,15,1,10,22,311,121,3,0.06431218598171318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660802913657603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637804072939754,0.0,0.0,0.05292344930957139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042341575752426,0.0,0.05369798897292743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674916714412428,0.11375780445293344,0.0,0.0714363404811738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622822391634685,0.0,0.13606753055421833,0.0,0.0,0.0694986257235902,0.0,0.10269609475239272,0.0,0.0,0.04147603954380474,0.0,0.0,0.06527551501055913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600291671432806,0.07458171797106733,0.0,0.0,0.072342553045845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743277689474986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259086798665387,0.1378339155465548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05394201033046408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846151785777271,0.0576110864389207,0.44446478344767104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043107102620843815,0.0,0.0,0.06387651184938377,0.0,0.0,0.06884752522969226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115190514568365,0.06697124507413812,0.0,0.0,0.07254694702901973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542559889618037,0.09425905661001964,0.0,0.0,0.05691426080734669,0.0540060387867058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413277629163595,0.0,0.042928883535102026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306001302607207,0.0992030450992029,0.0,0.0,0.060352629916880174,0.18903686247622736,0.061709276958701466,0.0,0.06748482071367506,0.0,0.043579601633664165,0.09782463091436804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4012737489029172,0.16846476048773645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041200033147524684,0.0661236383686509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054922255432568866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564219616290705,0.0,0.0,0.06601553471928269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439844537806211,0.045520496250861235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060613474184306675,0.0,0.048354760107949216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042726158684917456,0.16483460785931134,0.0,0.0,0.037500952830836584,0.0,0.0,0.06145304974370961,0.0,0.08732750543764556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055545079783007316,0.0,0.0,0.11379898068989105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22186751992743015,0.06199465230066285,0.0,0.04682003734912546,0.0,0.0,0.09137106342929938,0.0,0.0,0.04141493921438024
mentalhealth,jamespatrickflannery,2019/02/26,"Psych Survivors in the Bay Area -- want to help organize the 2019 protest of the American Psychiatric Associations Annual Meeting? Hi!  I helped organize the [2018 APA protest and virtual counter-conference in New York](https://ProtestAPA.com) and we are looking for folks in the Bay Area to help organize the 2019 protest.  

Who are we?  

We are a coalition of psychiatric survivors and ex-patients who stand united against the use of forced treatment in the mental health system.  We have the support of groups like MindFreedom International, Psych Rights, the Network Against Psychiatric Assault, and Opal Project.  Note that we have zero affiliation with CCHR or Scientology.

To watch last years protest and/or counter-conference, check out [ProtestAPA.com](https://ProtestAPA.com).  We also have a [Facebook group](https://www.facebook.com/groups/protestapa) you can join in. 

As I mentioned, we currently are looking for folks located in the Bay Area who can help with local organizing.  Contact me or reply to this post if interested!",10.315,13.325399069182394,7.314606918238997,66.22021226415097,58.30817610062893,11.086163522012576,42.18081761006289,11.038039088145766,5.526689308176102,848,46,115,23,12,239,94,159,0.085,0.7809999999999999,0.134,0.8148,1,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,7,1,0,0,1,8,5,0,13,0,9,1,0,1,0,19,14,9,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,14,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,3,11,3,22,14,0,20,0,0,3,0,20,12,0,3,6,69,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831132668810939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433924319963407,0.0,0.0,0.6139153101351178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664726740534934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186686658260628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3845669510954096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23075551792647855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22114794810966906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192972011002268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19554557965641384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598410143106801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19776308779899449,0.0,0.0,0.13505689371305896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745403718997158
mentalhealth,sl1888,2019/02/26,"Disconnect/ Dissociation. Does anybody else feel the same? Hi all. This will be my first post of this kind. Ive never done this before so please excuse the length/ ramblings.

Fistly, a bit of back strory. Im 23 and i am currently living with a mild depression/ anxiety/ dissociation. The main one out of those 3 is the third. Dissociation. Ive delt with depression and anxiety before, and whilst they are still scary i have found coping with them easier. This feeling is relatively new to me, its been ongoing for about a year now. I can still recall when it first came onto me, which is weird becasue i can pinpoint an actual moment.

​

I can remember standing up and feeling dizzy, it felt like i had stood up too fast and got lightheaded. The lighheaded effect went away but the confusion lngered, i thought nothing of it for the next couple hours, i carried on with my work, went home, and went to bed. I awoke with the same feeling something was ""just not right"" i went to work that day on the friday and when work finished it was still there, this feeling of not being right, not in my own mind. Still, i carried on and thought it will go away, maybe im stressed, ( was going away on holiday for a week with friends come the monday). Finally the holiday came and i still felt the same, i was able to enjoy myself to a degree but i was now becoming more anxious, more stressed due to the fact that i still feel weird. Id be much happier if it was an illness, at least id know what was wrong, but with this i was worried for the unknown.

​

Finally, i got home and spent the night with my girlfriend, i told her what was wrong and how i felt, this helped and i tried to catch some sleep. Withing 30 mins i knew somethign wasnt right, my heart was racing, i couldnt get comfy and i was sweating, and to top it all off my nose started bleeding out of nowhere. i imedietly shot up in a panic demanding an ambulance becasue i thought i was having a heart attack. I started panicking, crying, it turned into a full blown panic attack, i couldnt breathe i couldnt speak and was shaking. This was a first for me. I managed to calm down later on and get some sleep, i felt better, i felt that a whole weight lifted off me. I went to work the next day, it got to about 2pm where suddenly it hit me, this confused state of not knowing what i was doing, what was going on, a complete dream state, and the again, another panic attack.

​

The feeling set me down a road of the worst depression, close to ending it all. I didnt actually feel bad and i didnt feel bad before that day, thats the scariest part, i just was not myself, i wasnt aware of what was going on, almost like i was living somone elses life and i was just looking through VR goggles. I opted to try therapy first as ive wanted to stay clear of pills for as long as possible.

Therapy helped, a lot. Talking things through, how it feels and more than anything, knowing im not alone. Since my first panic attack, ive had a few more, some bad, some not as bad, but i can deal with them, I know whats coming. The issue i have now is, i dont feel depressed, im not stressed about anything, ive changed job and landed a really good one, but still, something just isnt right. It sometimes goes away and i forget about it and other times it comes on strong and i need to fight through, but its still there, holidng me back. Its also now left me with terrible anxiety, constantly over thinking things, worriyng about my heart and unable to drink alcohol. (i wasnt much of a drinker anyway but now i cant even enjoy a beer)

To sum up, the worst thing is, i dont feel comfortable in my own head, it feels like im not in control anymore.

The main point of this essay is to get feedback, and to get a chance to speak to anyone who has felt like this, if they have any tips or really just their story. I find hearing other peoples experience comforts me and shows that its not just me with this condition, that rarely ever gets covered as it is so personal.

​

Ive missed a lot, but if there are any questions ill be able to answer, but mainly id like to know if anyone else has had any experience with this.",3.2667942660796747,4.883422452038371,4.233931422026558,86.87822022978634,73.88009592326141,7.233301120297793,26.116825942231287,7.913819287138632,1.4465534414259635,3271,114,669,47,67,1058,339,834,0.14400000000000002,0.738,0.118,-0.9822,2,1,7,0,2,0,129.0,0,0,5,14,42,46,5,10,45,0,70,18,9,4,7,143,134,53,0,9,30,0,20,5,2,2,6,3,3,1,55,49,4,1,35,6,1,16,23,31,0,8,54,25,84,15,98,70,31,117,0,5,1,0,22,42,0,15,58,473,139,7,0.08227385066258061,0.0,0.08028741010103961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04396286264129018,0.04119268850273455,0.04260544839565639,0.0,0.032897184325071084,0.0,0.17828736563850872,0.19994346775349486,0.08392355961166384,0.04313565300445234,0.09440890584516304,0.04647301646409247,0.04079677610705991,0.05752778934558692,0.042149641338833116,0.06770436890890986,0.0,0.0,0.18719676513481695,0.1545979819740888,0.06326351269780238,0.1373904574444336,0.0,0.045432502064329264,0.10501348073763496,0.0,0.0,0.03638226749874805,0.04491086809151873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409936715408827,0.0,0.0,0.04351741243886136,0.10630745598181757,0.043131283547101176,0.044454402122663834,0.04613855970280194,0.0,0.04551722544224796,0.04518698083522202,0.07958974099727945,0.04241036370023056,0.14172469403725269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03599920057426,0.04209735704932445,0.09642434023287803,0.04029852583362637,0.0,0.0,0.10309386761798213,0.0,0.03643510575719895,0.0,0.0,0.027170551209734387,0.03721070409557372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047961306219052,0.0,0.0,0.2704008511595001,0.029388227676220124,0.23698739669635085,0.09012698188680764,0.03759840449456038,0.17495523835993745,0.0,0.04510451533129574,0.031782286466399516,0.0,0.10746172810809863,0.0,0.09351625066635423,0.03450370123968347,0.09870287135123786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042218353393149256,0.0,0.046364304589030576,0.1462423637524563,0.05514642784078733,0.0,0.08252738041431752,0.0,0.04051158504874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22217469244811047,0.04293626233713326,0.04082205085959679,0.0,0.0,0.042837777411915835,0.11303889169269248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044695389737465965,0.0,0.02905622692490441,0.1004871190525436,0.0,0.07264931746187775,0.03640488441464472,0.034544656678894364,0.0,0.0,0.06994628569258415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04132757067385096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041536567765394015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060480746787583486,0.030502508889063563,0.031727332826495105,0.039730298825367015,0.08749917355614006,0.038604217731669783,0.0,0.03947198932438453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575089047295555,0.0,0.0,0.19306127372224952,0.0,0.044547281369678296,0.0,0.028519164402770438,0.035919176474104315,0.0,0.04515599082692634,0.03888769106740461,0.04637570237442031,0.03939780317092472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608277099868085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270673547679836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04660011723601786,0.1405228378583224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0340288897313002,0.0,0.08233326785358147,0.0,0.0,0.06333842977672248,0.040685471021103176,0.0,0.05823385496015995,0.04384648896107635,0.2628160136664094,0.0,0.14136662693949145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0330643023422546,0.0,0.0,0.09408731846984468,0.0,0.08198863587131436,0.02635888071604769,0.0,0.09797437102168524,0.023987271975065737,0.0,0.0,0.03930809503825404,0.0,0.05585854400249664,0.044745161994967225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02426362438137881,0.0,0.03299756015967642,0.050093692701303434,0.0,0.1906717095766257,0.0,0.045927908048088766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979268631838165,0.041776544507799766,0.0,0.0,0.08995354013407936,0.19994346775349486,0.026490831186275016
mentalhealth,SilverMoon25,2019/02/26,"Ups and downs I told a friend of mine today that I thought about going on meds again, this time for depression on top of the anxiety. The response was stop drinking alcohol and exercise. I never was a big drinker and after my break up a few months back I haven't been going out. I don't have the energy to workout, because depression.

Some people just don't get it. The last few weeks have been extra rough. Anxiety in the college library before class, anxiety attack after leaving church on Sunday (couldn't do the Sunday lunch out thing), not leaving the couch....

I did go to a group at the college this afternoon that focuses on mental health awareness and even though I am the oldest one there (by like 10 years and more) it felt good and makes me realize group therapy would be good for me. ",5.583333333333336,6.438107627450982,5.87896078431373,80.16432352941176,67.49673202614379,9.257254901960783,30.33267973856209,9.3871,2.649957385620915,629,23,117,12,10,201,100,153,0.124,0.792,0.084,-0.6501,0,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,1,0,13,0,15,5,0,1,1,19,23,7,0,2,2,0,2,1,1,1,3,0,1,0,7,8,3,1,3,3,0,3,6,3,0,1,8,2,11,4,21,12,5,33,1,2,0,0,4,13,0,1,17,87,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811905385171586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610305374190424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789655014924416,0.0,0.12096348211980786,0.0,0.0958961446990078,0.0,0.13386121802651613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27098578251577193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410620755176027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039033194740133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104451997912674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153912663905805,0.0,0.08218920684130264,0.0,0.26821269084661403,0.263892260798767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721566527041726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823055644786932,0.0,0.3331421160849706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685486505845322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500721107947976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473855050338136,0.0,0.15853384235659362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556521202480847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132897758616715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065989154775939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906057176386348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152016345063675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990037511500806,0.0,0.10451133116410807,0.0,0.15455857912782253,0.1248884290685588,0.0917300927793605,0.0,0.1491137079333517,0.15031868603428725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261864733132644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175017556922552,0.0,0.0,0.10130399176051884
mentalhealth,keb-,2019/02/26,"Declining mental health. I just feel stuck at this point in time, i'm always angry and sad.

i just never feel like i'm at peace and i have no will to carry on doing important things. (currently in online school)

everyday feels the same and i just want to spend the entire day inside (i don't have a reason to leave), it feels like ill never be normal, money is tight, parents are fighting everyday and at this point i just wanna be sedated.

​",3.8562824675324654,5.5655158295454585,5.001493506493507,81.59545454545456,72.52272727272727,7.755844155844157,22.798701298701296,8.418075326091056,1.4573974025974028,355,9,65,6,7,117,59,88,0.212,0.718,0.07,-0.9104,2,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,3,0,9,2,0,1,2,20,17,4,0,3,4,1,5,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,5,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,1,5,6,2,10,13,1,15,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,0,9,44,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16029380681727018,0.20872782677750956,0.23408145245224185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423833184627935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38962289426436375,0.27524736253661525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204769732222584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398035612412507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823057172989024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19413810539268989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971552002736274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874852975211365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139064510684564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642184387356874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980683454082324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496426912864628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798296895264807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233126097848622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362540623634862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23408145245224185,0.0
mentalhealth,Yevgeniy-Sherepitko,2019/02/26,"Shallow Sometimes I wish that I was shallow, not think about life or faith and death as much as I do, that way I wont question it and my mind would be at ease and peace. 

What makes me feel better is that i'm sure everyone goes through these thoughts, I just cant seem to handle it. Its normal, right? ",2.3642857142857165,3.690445746031749,2.8097142857142856,97.36028571428574,75.66666666666666,5.674920634920635,23.711111111111112,5.6839178017228535,0.12521206349206349,234,7,55,1,5,72,50,63,0.057,0.7,0.243,0.8957,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,1,17,14,6,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,7,3,6,9,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,35,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398868380076901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591783106195074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714543594723316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158251754619413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810526175317804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27387176742833264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939019891649706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657543976837149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038472030883295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23163467781976654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24692372396409354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682600526875295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25563739969594895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17379753883157895,0.0,0.2153316591293921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21529508419076301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119088433416457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926787845182388,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,booticuss,2019/02/26,"Thinking my feelings are fake Hello. For the past year, I've been always wondering if my bouts of suicidal idealisation, self-harm and loathing are made up for attention. I've had bouts like this since I was 11, but it was only recently when I started questioning myself this much. The reasons I keep thinking I'm fake are:

*  The fact that they don't happen regularly, and on the contrary, I have days where I will feel great before I crash down (Wouldn't call it mania, though. I looked it up, mine are not as intense)
* \-Having a tendency to weaponize my negative emotions i.e. threaten suicide on my friends when I'm in a sudden low and I can't control myself. I know I'm terrible for doing that, but given I've actually attempted suicide before (following the threats usually), my friends take it pretty seriously.
* Being afraid to disclose them in a genuine and polite way fearing that I'll exaggerate them when in reality, it may not actually be a big deal (My mom tells me that all the time)
* Thinking I'm faking panic attacks or other breakdowns just because I'm spiteful and want to make up a scene for granted, even when I'm in the midst of doing them. (My mom would shout at me to stop being theatrical and hit me when I'd have panic attacks sometimes)
* My self harm being fairly superficial (I mainly bite myself, but I did that as a little kid due to my autism, and my cuts are pretty shallow and healed quickly), which makes me think I do it just to show off, even though I'd do them to try to validate my emotions to myself.
* Doing well in school. I'm currently doing 6th form (Equivalent to AP for Americans) in Maths, Further Maths, Physics and Computing at a fairly prestigious school, currently doing well. I am planning on getting a Maths degree and maybe get into teaching.
* Telling the doctor last time that I feel like I need medication, which makes me think I'm just ignorant and want an easy way out, also thinking that maybe I never had a problem to begin with and am just making it up for drugs to show off.

My friends think I have Borderline and the doctors think I just need to listen to my parents more and that it's just my Autism (which actually angers me when they say that but then what if it's true, and recently I actually finally got admitted to therapy to their answer is to be cleared) but I fear that if I use them to justify my actions and clear my way to get better, I just won't and will just make whatever illness I'm labelled with as my personality and identity.

I'd also read these ""signs you're making your mental illness up for attention"" articles with the intention of beating myself up for fitting with most of those signs, which only draws me into the pit of loath and mutilation.

The reason why I've been writing this is that I want to know if there's actually something that's causing this in me, it's something normal that passes or I'm just toxic. Please tell me your thoughts. If that's ok, I will delete this post after a while.

FYI, I'm a 16-year-old girl, autistic, Moved to the UK from Romania due to bullying, just mentioning in case it would help any.",5.977658850903888,6.412346509933776,6.698671916950065,76.11183730087704,66.51655629139073,9.708537676749598,33.70843028458923,9.635858565294015,3.172738285305172,2468,105,457,48,37,815,278,604,0.17600000000000002,0.708,0.116,-0.9933,3,0,3,0,1,2,78.0,0,2,8,5,27,32,7,5,25,1,42,7,0,13,6,107,96,46,3,15,24,3,3,2,3,8,7,3,0,4,38,26,0,4,22,3,0,4,8,21,2,0,11,7,66,11,69,71,6,68,0,1,1,0,33,31,0,11,31,310,104,10,0.0,0.0,0.3226931453935985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577694182528093,0.05502996684777425,0.0,0.0,0.0449743529977839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047717412441136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04031553775279362,0.0,0.1125527414250426,0.0,0.0,0.05849140392471211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753165747888533,0.0,0.0,0.06793929345115254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417649634327762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042651874195721716,0.06818271329211394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353848080832316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669608977113422,0.0,0.0,0.148786890235743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736364140692092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14884146688596647,0.10032016542103728,0.04724715675570099,0.0,0.07244811915911895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532881826637981,0.0,0.10365908082174392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052894536392239365,0.07291453324644957,0.0,0.0,0.05848333286311951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04432917747569577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058784199404465214,0.0,0.0,0.07269259370297992,0.05390919369868366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646208504726674,0.0662850645272547,0.0,0.0,0.055537095573145435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257893282032542,0.2648754355586185,0.0,0.13288383576391904,0.0,0.0,0.0666244771363075,0.06664894742831941,0.0,0.0,0.15491400751570894,0.0,0.0702914842868196,0.04861714281747986,0.0980771508102804,0.051007712476199084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479866902571971,0.0,0.0,0.06939799737051902,0.0,0.0,0.10059793309329522,0.0,0.15519132973083774,0.07343555652303563,0.0,0.06313374109157384,0.0,0.057746897162529724,0.0,0.07259683028742589,0.0,0.0,0.06333945016198231,0.13456699506195846,0.0,0.06328266447765253,0.0,0.0,0.07408680540723865,0.0,0.06615331647433084,0.0,0.0,0.13599645173857314,0.13060149582611094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05259353990126248,0.0,0.1338651502472646,0.0,0.0,0.13798733183823678,0.0,0.0,0.05470790226176693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182855370833528,0.06540962075671629,0.0,0.04681099017103628,0.0,0.0,0.055292171875003376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170242434730854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0497256046520627,0.0,0.1734158144898157,0.0,0.07563161571776808,0.0,0.0,0.33901525000193106,0.12995542733034066,0.05250413551873128,0.0771281896706288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044901608455393344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711976797095195,0.0728388208069592,0.0,0.1170251514217104,0.15748565244754856,0.0,0.0,0.11892736897365143,0.0,0.059676929203356176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172104107257063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396140869235677,0.0,0.0,0.08517808337652906
mentalhealth,post_orgasm_mind,2019/02/26,"[Request] I have given myself a last chance to get better. How do I structure my daily routine and goals for the 2 months in which I plan to be free and unemployed I have severe depression which has been with me for the past 15 years. While I appear fairly successful, I am very close to ending it all.  
I have decided to give myself one last chance and have given myself two months to show some tangible improvements. I have quit my job and this weekend will be my last day at work.   


This is broadly what I plan to do. Is there anything I should add?:  


* Eat 3 times a day without skipping any
* Sleep by 1AM everyday
* Go to gym every other day and get at least 5 minute of exercise everyday
* Meditate at least for 5 minutes everyday (I use headspace to help me with this)
* Try my best to not stay at home except to sleep because I end up on youtube or fapping (I need help/tips on how I could achieve this)

​

Do you all have any recommendations for any project I can pick up? Or any easy social work? Or any other tips at all? This is really last make or break chance.

​

P.S: I already am seeing a therapist. She's ok and am planning to visit her every week.",2.9663793103448266,4.8638421896551725,3.9891724137931033,87.12306896551725,75.3793103448276,7.053793103448276,25.393103448275863,7.908726449838941,1.4277096551724138,916,32,184,14,20,296,134,232,0.027000000000000003,0.8390000000000001,0.134,0.9718,3,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,0,11,3,6,0,0,5,1,23,4,2,5,3,31,34,13,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,11,10,1,0,1,4,1,3,2,1,0,2,3,1,28,6,31,26,7,37,0,1,1,0,8,12,0,6,20,122,39,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018583448826235,0.0,0.0,0.23600972737308096,0.2646772144819798,0.37031557364693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962435218520609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639104509428241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142952209224994,0.096322798902127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695645393684832,0.0,0.0,0.21071547057964785,0.0,0.09380475807126044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144299220880173,0.0,0.0,0.19292537854872133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18352418182140226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380285109043985,0.10447721422975256,0.0618965475923546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600129800215456,0.0,0.10924646557338934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807721634877897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551075252218561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269884006165582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386320753515014,0.0,0.0,0.08075601747012368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380081260501144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103967732676243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158400982315658,0.0,0.0,0.06977108123200335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678784907849373,0.0,0.0,0.12303826361015165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217979014163655,0.11102089913204463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608447821201415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645389459716352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350679420254363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394332006798701,0.0,0.10639007798221484,0.0,0.0,0.09406400863080737,0.0,0.08986285976445638,0.0,0.0,0.08736171684820694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498617576668688,0.0,0.15857679616296755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646772144819798,0.07013501852773657
mentalhealth,hellawanderlustt,2019/02/26,Mental health issue I don’t feel comfortable going to a therapist considering the fact I’m 16 and would have to tell my family members to take me and I don’t feel comfortable telling them about how I really feel. Most of them already think I’m weird have depression or extreme anxiety. I’m just gonna rant about how I’m feeling but I’m pretty sure I have bpd. I have trouble controlling my emotions I can get really angry for no reason really quick and really suicidal to the point where I’m like 2 seconds from jumping out a window I wouldn’t actually do it considering I’m scared of failing and people finding out I’m sad or something. I also have rarely extreme highs where I can be so happy energetic and bubbly I’ve been called bipolar before but I don’t think I am tbh. I also have extreme trust issues I wouldn’t tell anyone about this in real life but I’m pretty paranoid of everyone around me. I’m just better off alone I make everyone around me miserable if I’m being honest because my emotions are everywhere. I don’t cry in front of others so instead of being super sad and crying I just explode and yell at everyone around me even if it’s not their fault. I hate myself because of it and I wish I was normal. I feel like there’s so many things wrong with me. I can go from being extremely suicidal to ok maybe it’s not that bad in an hour or so. Because of all my issues is why I’m suicidal everyone around me would be happier if I was gone I’m too complicated. Also I’m terrible in large crowds I can really nervous and anxious and I just leave any situations like that . If anyone can help and find out what’s wrong with me I’d appreciate it thanks again no therapy suggestions I would never go because of trust issues.,2.51831487681346,4.652827881019832,4.693999484934332,80.46142844879391,77.55524079320114,8.018164649326122,25.427847883938536,8.841846274778883,2.187499338999056,1394,52,264,33,33,482,170,353,0.221,0.5660000000000001,0.214,-0.4839,0,1,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,3,4,28,29,1,3,5,1,32,3,0,5,4,63,64,30,3,11,16,0,5,3,0,6,3,1,1,0,11,20,0,1,10,0,0,6,11,15,0,1,4,6,40,14,34,49,2,27,0,5,0,0,10,17,0,8,7,172,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.07548343605851182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011232734174621,0.08535877239350396,0.18557274469670013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052601345074132236,0.0,0.059173317449972576,0.08738463383733104,0.0,0.10817126130212336,0.0,0.0,0.27543522340988397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458486951133018,0.18860985177826994,0.0,0.06582001959016479,0.0,0.0,0.06841069001850543,0.0,0.0,0.0974209000271788,0.0,0.07898403827287938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675574456257579,0.0,0.0,0.16993292344392186,0.0,0.0,0.06662231890909251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401896934866412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051089618218683824,0.0,0.0,0.2956488520098405,0.0,0.0,0.07291965619780423,0.0,0.19555499551288832,0.05525958308729217,0.0,0.0,0.14139485919376854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04041271463197845,0.0,0.1318810991422323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234159755258337,0.0,0.07636811675924833,0.0,0.08222051559176109,0.0,0.0,0.051846757225533,0.0817255979336768,0.0,0.0,0.07617517206762987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229374676440855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081903560008987,0.0,0.0,0.05463531192318862,0.1133694014963652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051632405503667496,0.07842179205847312,0.07770949478847028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795163351605028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05965787402288757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578757497488224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362545684135436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312171456161065,0.0,0.0,0.1573875880591748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804239337064204,0.2477652157548104,0.07952972983414291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744186353440041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694578569890499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954859308677419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25382837905289635,0.0,0.07290241954490108,0.0,0.058158339475209576,0.0,0.20282459871607214,0.07121442541759831,0.08845763088755303,0.08981049433280415,0.05138857965010573,0.09912681874280377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979726303444489,0.0,0.0889498539106671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648438327458018,0.16914239197409695,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saltybread18,2019/02/26,"I don't understand what's wrong with me? I can understand peoples emotions and pick up what people are feeling really easy but when it comes to reactions emotionally and just physically I don't know what to do sometimes I feel empathetic but other times I don't, people say I'm great to talk to about problems, its only cause I categorise there issue in my head on what they need to here and say it to them I'm a people pleaser and whether or not I understand the emotion that's coming out I like to make people happy. I don't know how to change to at least have stable/controllable/understandable emotions.",4.654388422035481,6.2714747563025215,5.7296918767507,77.53377217553691,70.34453781512605,8.986367880485528,29.188608776844074,9.444778638647367,2.7221421101774044,492,19,90,11,9,163,76,119,0.03,0.752,0.219,0.9706,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,8,1,1,4,0,27,21,10,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,8,0,0,7,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,4,13,3,16,21,1,9,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,3,63,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225264665550796,0.12617526641562832,0.20548665968774796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5366653376638789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120616261654222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149916146278065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269685753792784,0.0,0.0,0.12240874832559627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449026804822695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109890019027073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058270877367107524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961580981009515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843959164230505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071266905011263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134452124797355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412837665455412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764094878116458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970172577253855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796427815061833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586730743106693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954918186576918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4966705716080786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040655746009872,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,js3993,2019/02/26,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me Last night at a sporting event I was participating in, I had a major panic attack and I was too sore to even play. Sunday I had played an all day tournament for this sport and sprained my knee as well as overused my elbow. So I went to my game and tried to play through it. It hurt so incredibly bad that I barely made it through game one and I played very poorly. The whole game I felt like I was going to fall over and die. I had no energy and was being to get the cold sweats. My elbow and knee hurt so bad that i could barely stand up and I couldn’t life my arm over my head. I then tried to play game two but when I got up the entire room spun around and I burst into a cold sweat. I felt like I was going to pass out from the pain in my elbow. Then without a moments hesitation an overwhelming feeling of dread came over me. I wanted to cry and I almost did. I don’t know why, but the whole world came crashing down around me. I felt like I was going to die. The thought I could have been dying actually was in my head, similar to that flight or fight feeling people get. It almost felt like when I broke a bone and went into shock. The worst part about all of this is that I feel like I can’t admit this to anyone. It’s my battle to fight and I just need to figure it out.  I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think it might be a socially induced panic attack? Does anyone else ever feel this way? ",1.3640668824163953,2.925980983818775,2.9645954692556638,94.19170442286949,78.96763754045307,5.742826321467099,17.91693635382956,6.42735559955562,-0.34161833872707703,1120,20,263,9,27,369,145,309,0.225,0.6729999999999999,0.102,-0.9937,0,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,14,30,5,4,15,0,24,14,11,2,3,56,51,24,3,5,6,0,8,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,17,22,0,0,16,11,1,9,7,19,1,2,23,10,43,11,41,22,7,40,0,4,0,0,8,18,0,4,16,177,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.08981476677916397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18432338052623004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870872224904062,0.09430271077142854,0.0,0.16386476056912413,0.0,0.20941058854979572,0.0,0.0,0.15369398362115896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21053145703355866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469679983061269,0.0,0.10109824541762036,0.059356205551104685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28655940642704275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054213729760455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768850447396291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078952396378338,0.08325267201486576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18614654797511665,0.06575120087871672,0.3534795428423525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096170994038228,0.0,0.15692012420920684,0.0,0.07361034031519938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889128847989544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19705487332764796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517432685634415,0.07502238160953667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500840521467917,0.22482297412897675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708756812437078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763663780442372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824421708466956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637042365418365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062366605414942634,0.0,0.09793378215454857,0.2159710127855731,0.0,0.09966702579715284,0.0,0.06380681843760944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938200592185648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058973548183763665,0.0,0.07306704145829708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497406743832536,0.0,0.08990670670652219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594010578695995,0.05428576565835835,0.07305463073073405,0.0,0.0,0.08275225287943147,0.17063831159039838,0.08304901351341877,0.2055118900860182,0.0,0.08872031576546838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012558685835076,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ifrankenstein,2019/02/26,"My first post in here...just lost a close friend due to my mental health issues. We were just chatting as normal last night, and she brought up a photo I posted about depression and anxiety.  I've never been shy about it when people ask, it's something I've been dealing with for years.  I have my ups and downs, much like most of us.  The TLDR is...she said it was ""cheesy"" to talk about it, and that I need to ""man the f*** up and get over it"".  I've known this girl for years, and this is the first time we've ever had a discussion about mental health.  It devolved into her basically saying it's all fake, and weak people use it as an excuse.  I immediately removed all contact points from her.  I'm disgusted, angry, and hurt.  I had no idea someone that I cared about could be so obtuse about such an important, and very real thing.

Just wanted to rant.  Thanks for reading.",1.6207471264367792,3.880625212643679,2.8960919540229924,91.51643678160922,81.35632183908045,5.475862068965519,18.86206896551724,6.691623216298621,0.06253103448275876,673,16,141,7,18,217,111,174,0.155,0.757,0.08800000000000001,-0.9211,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,2,0,0,3,12,10,1,0,8,0,10,3,0,1,4,28,21,13,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,2,13,13,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,6,0,2,9,2,14,4,25,10,4,24,0,3,0,0,17,9,0,1,12,93,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276883574494825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780917117381455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029510466234308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769550510513226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197403132195642,0.12696468039600328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333414810989237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507750517056654,0.0,0.0,0.1138891954114917,0.0,0.07701604329001763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31338151103226874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578062783533095,0.16640881668907762,0.0,0.15385854559968687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201594523908856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201745632877657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091626911904058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297110770017372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836387741967844,0.10930321829047644,0.11369227358712065,0.0,0.0,0.1383350219814435,0.14443125655538866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439213466113693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935082523907205,0.0,0.28235753955969195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745066167796606,0.16778572884645074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402213992154734,0.11722696112199878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490066724987026,0.11348401276170653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848319329016085,0.0,0.1357160319662242,0.0,0.0,0.09793316561350994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595640556713993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731700637730394,0.12731557586348433,0.0,0.12162932354452327,0.0869466915630295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898554059523773
mentalhealth,Tignas_Ezurc,2019/02/26,"I feel like I have a strange mental issue and I don't know what to do so basically, I always have this strange anxiety where whenever I do something around people or talk to people, I get this anxiety, where I always feel like those people are going to think I am weird and laugh at my back or make fun of me. I don't know if this is a rear issue or others commonly have it. I always regret what I say to people and its as simple as talking to them about video game or tv shows. its so bad that sometimes I can't even sleep. it sucks and I really need help its been happing for about 2 years now. ",4.98952380952381,4.3015738253968285,6.1331746031746075,83.15071428571429,68.68253968253968,9.104761904761906,26.73015873015873,8.418075326091056,1.5411873015873012,466,11,102,6,7,157,75,126,0.14400000000000002,0.7240000000000001,0.132,0.1248,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,10,8,1,0,2,0,12,1,1,1,0,18,22,13,0,3,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,13,5,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,4,0,0,1,3,16,4,13,21,0,9,0,1,0,0,6,4,1,5,6,72,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025956882665195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467587727734909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435741239382861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401499584360727,0.13466274857604146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652446099347812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309685777980062,0.2304381010600461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426257219280618,0.0,0.09165960711900624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810313445814397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366705494660009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727144239238174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575873247654193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765620018008756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625331336068129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958768496357032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44724725568336493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332062356873073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282569819549015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139729577499734,0.0,0.0,0.12416185523908968,0.1595108556073772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592628289316549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334223766731652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385956072824014
mentalhealth,PROfesionalk0lk9,2019/02/26,"I'm having trouble holding my stomach with something I did last week while potentially manic. I don't know which one it was.  Here are my theories:

- I did twice the speed limit on a city road and held the accelerator down then did a 45 degree left a 90 degree right and then a 135 degree left which ended up acting as a brake and stalled my engine.  Then I pretended to hide a weapon, threw my dinner out the window like it was contraband, and ran away to wait for the cops to get me.  I did all this because I had a dream about doing this once when I was 16 and it popped back into my head as soon as I turned onto the road and saw my opportunity to finally capitalize.  The thing is it was some crazy stuntman maneuvers where I didn't bump into anything or come near flipping (even though an SUV being 45 degree to the left while still traveling in the correct traffic flow direction at over 100km/h should have been disaster).

- I did twice the speed limit on a city road and held the accelerator down then did a 45 degree left a 90 degree right and then a 135 degree left which ended up acting as a brake and stalled my engine.  Then I panicked and pretended to hide a weapon to make it look like I did this intentionally, and threw my dinner out for homeless people (it was cold outside and late night so the food would preserve well), then ran away out of embarrassment.

- I did twice the speed limit on a city road and held the accelerator down then did a 45 degree left a 90 degree right and then a 135 degree left which ended up acting as a brake and stalled my engine.  Then I pretended to hide something, threw my dinner out the window and ran away.  I did all of this because I was having a seizure.

- I did twice the speed limit on a city road and held the accelerator down then did a 45 degree left a 90 degree right and then a 135 degree left which ended up acting as a brake and stalled my engine.  Then I pretended to hide something and threw my dinner out the window.  I did all of this and it makes no sense to me why I did it because I have mental health issues and to be blunt I have no idea what the heck came over me period.",7.201997569329357,5.69037152436195,7.554424925422605,77.45623356535191,64.61484918793504,10.158479725997127,30.500607667661036,8.841846274778883,2.17586169484035,1681,43,345,21,21,553,154,431,0.084,0.892,0.024,-0.9517,0,0,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,5,11,8,2,1,43,0,36,8,2,3,4,59,58,47,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,3,0,20,32,5,14,2,6,0,15,4,4,1,5,36,3,37,4,52,18,4,95,0,0,2,0,0,47,1,2,35,247,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643866900845253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205334570015186,0.06016344663388161,0.0,0.14308721482437375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948826918764635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673987546375788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771975753283417,0.0,0.0,0.05167825617045722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571054046463225,0.0,0.0,0.09461081724190837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040878336775889305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029910269043039,0.08316783361016014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832595600214438,0.0,0.08166456200805278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042999884375011455,0.06377786175205541,0.08826064543928339,0.0,0.7650937238613328,0.0,0.0,0.07645040455959666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570376888536633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445459454772943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884976686466666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342503425114874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332542329522202,0.05301896117882743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054243311900339014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672737537264339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070407778090736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062484347368913125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05198066213818195,0.0,0.0768725954660877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851050803539119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276119883504203,0.0,0.07034916288427469,0.0,0.07060144438056737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558103657703039,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chhavipuri169,2019/02/26,Tips to be Happy when you are not financially secure Here are some ways to be happy when you are not financially secure. ,4.18391304347826,6.4240215217391325,5.8254347826086965,73.77989130434786,72.91304347826087,8.078260869565218,20.195652173913047,8.841846274778883,1.4412782608695651,97,2,17,2,2,33,13,23,0.134,0.624,0.243,0.6517,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,15,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9369981869697064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493342205044946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Zieriso,2019/02/26,"another brick in the wall- song lyrics changed to represent mental health, hope you like it. Verse: brain cells chorus
We don't need no mental illnes
We don't need no thought control
No dark feelings in my soul
 Depression leave them neurotransmiters alone
Hey, depression leave them neurotransmiters alone
All in all it's just another chemical in the brain
All in all you're just another depressed person in the world.


Outro: Ocd]
Wrong! Do it again!
Wrong! Do it again!

Outro: ED
If you do eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!
How can you have any pudding if you do eat your meat?

Outro: social anxiaty (to himself) 
You! Yes! You behind the bike sheds! Stand still, laddie!",1.6827490909090912,4.2987134240000024,2.1075090909090903,90.07275454545454,98.76,5.4727272727272736,20.081818181818182,6.980632752743323,0.927,538,18,98,10,22,164,71,125,0.18600000000000005,0.731,0.083,-0.9299,0,2,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,9,2,1,6,7,0,0,4,1,10,5,2,2,4,17,15,3,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,2,2,1,2,3,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,2,15,2,9,14,4,12,1,3,0,0,18,8,0,3,4,57,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781189949440841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826115119876348,0.42237008099689854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29977141328148993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420360478038908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505911841784432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469303599831703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27477609309348844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788912594728508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271890431180273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335683029787448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28433746151039524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559578084048326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27061790222684257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19911366820315451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723624133029358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368676859379057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722532024736944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659252366734033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935984611806485,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonthrowawaaay,2019/02/26,"SO hospitalized, need advice Explanation first, then questions: my SO has been hospitalized for a manic episode. His only mental health history is diagnosed depression and anxiety. He has severe chronic pain that makes it hard to function, including making it hard to sleep. We have been seeing so many doctors and are making some progress on the pain, but it was still a lot to bear.

It's possible that this manic episode is due to a bad batch of pot that he got right before it happened. He said it's something he hadn't tried before. Usually pot is what lets him get to sleep. This time he hardly slept at all, even with his most sedating medications.

He's on his third day in a good hospital now but there's no change in his condition. You can get intelligible answers to short questions, but otherwise he rambles angrily, pausing only to ask angrily whether you understand, and answering with anything other or more than ""yes"" makes him angrier. He's not actually violent, but you can feel the rage and frustration radiating off him.

Nobody at the hospital will venture even the slightest guess or educated guess to me about what will happen. I understand why this is. But I need to know: is it really equally possible that he'll be home next week, or that he'll be in an institution for the rest of his life, or every other possibility in between? Does anyone have experience that can give you an educated guess on most likely/less likely outcomes? I don't want promises or guarantees. On a practical level I need to know whether this really might go on for weeks or months so I can plan for that life. And on an emotional level I need to know whether I might ever get my dearest love back. I know it's premature to be that worried, but I can't help catastrophizing when they won't say anything to that question.

Any advice?",5.819156948493682,7.225455895043732,6.634478862973765,72.9516988581147,67.30903790087464,10.38138969873664,33.24210398445092,10.504223727775694,3.778881535471331,1464,65,257,40,24,484,183,343,0.139,0.792,0.07,-0.9653,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,1,4,1,3,13,11,3,0,13,1,29,13,3,4,2,56,63,26,0,5,16,0,4,1,0,7,9,2,1,0,25,8,0,0,12,0,0,1,6,7,0,2,7,7,26,4,37,45,8,33,0,1,1,1,33,17,0,18,16,175,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.08211727194166915,0.0,0.0,0.16445883091719796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722419624090516,0.0,0.06437374415445912,0.0,0.0,0.05883892774657391,0.0,0.13849489144899071,0.0,0.07866794286451269,0.0,0.0,0.06470537621842416,0.07026088861227812,0.0,0.0,0.1432091788641375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901846969387997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054269134658560716,0.0,0.07247739855140897,0.0854094497203282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613005312354212,0.07363934493637184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465628338604123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111592235787372,0.07611757568245793,0.07089915023066533,0.0,0.0,0.08231385547586162,0.0,0.0,0.04254825584154877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157708471573426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189311658107922,0.08072337534859726,0.047823808099365206,0.07058017724391652,0.06730163145938645,0.0,0.2780987861810802,0.0,0.1488253412671099,0.0,0.2261428894008353,0.0,0.0,0.08944643739852039,0.0,0.0,0.05640329169809565,0.0,0.08440829429654675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498432862501352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604803970768761,0.11887383513746345,0.04111094415170708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154045891253928,0.07594774548535194,0.0,0.22468040699475228,0.0853138643506742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477125072335383,0.08480238608603999,0.17853755291198115,0.0,0.0,0.06716691799566671,0.0,0.0,0.24958162822232866,0.0,0.0,0.08949340152507697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799819188157813,0.1790809086268633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845960151341491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827983689967356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781599069789467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186277447426045,0.08004495584660258,0.06691865135807552,0.0,0.0,0.06705584723434918,0.0,0.0,0.09506440240453423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16841951528067264,0.0,0.0,0.0647820007618615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720148911800096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04906795058992061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571316379784346,0.0,0.0,0.1752041247168688,0.0,0.0,0.09267821987386776,0.0,0.049633252314621575,0.0,0.13499848196043127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593137155204277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545738022469397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Depressed_monkey3,2019/02/26,"Man says emotional support alligator helps depression Joie Henney, 65, said his registered emotional support animal named Wally likes to snuggle and give hugs, despite being a freaking 5-foot-long alligator. The man said he received approval from his doctor to use Wally as his emotional support animal after not wanting to go on medication for depression.

**This is what was lacking in my life, I'll go get an alligator and feel better now** ( if he bites my head off i won't feel pain anymore after all )

This made me laugh quite a bit, support animals have been proven to help reduce anxiety and depression, especially in patients suffering from PTSD, but this one takes the cake

The news article is easily findable, the story was posted in the ""Detroit News""",8.555582706766916,9.475666466165414,8.904276315789474,60.83430921052637,61.03007518796994,12.364285714285714,39.93327067669173,11.93303328291395,5.553045864661655,612,31,87,19,8,203,94,133,0.07200000000000001,0.7120000000000001,0.21600000000000005,0.9229,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,1,14,0,0,8,0,8,6,1,2,1,16,24,6,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,1,4,3,0,2,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,6,0,1,6,5,7,8,15,16,3,12,0,4,0,1,15,5,0,1,4,52,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095650655563063,0.0,0.12400011454109168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058239811083244,0.13650472706161876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230747617373497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797758081588267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4219392088168957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644187837028756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532509607729486,0.1199439907181736,0.142119389086662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832093993772367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16761528780717375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831520062676232,0.061085288894989126,0.0,0.0,0.11065114129177384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831017890074222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595858468530466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472626349534057,0.0,0.13304497457758896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974799413173827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615803633727448,0.0,0.0,0.132989032771535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378719026463096,0.09943204261100294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5675483335081755,0.0,0.0,0.09400999533220426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798921718296356,0.0,0.0,0.07374828330987511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thepersoniamisnotme,2019/02/26,"Why do I not know anyone with (soxial) anxiety. It's stated that anxiety disorders affect about 18% of people but why is it then, that I know no one with anxiety. I have social anxiety an it affects about 6% of people but even then, there should be some people in my class who theoretically should have social anxiety but there is no one. There is no one in my class who shows any symptoms of social anxiety or one of the other common anxiety disorders and not only this class. In my old class there was no one too. (I failed my last class that is why I have a new one.)  There do was a girl who is now one of my close friends, who had an eating disorder but no one has an anxiety disorder. (I'm in 9th grade (German school) btw)

Is there any reason for it or does it take years to develop some sort of social anxiety. I noticed mine almost directly after elementary school but didn't knew what it was but still if someone knew what they had to look for, they would have noticed so I believe that I would probably notice when someone has some sort of social anxiety.",6.000766192733018,5.785111758293841,7.038116113744078,75.92061808846762,66.48815165876778,10.824802527646133,30.379541864139014,10.504223727775694,3.017113428120063,835,27,164,20,12,282,99,211,0.195,0.787,0.018000000000000002,-0.9867,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,1,14,2,0,0,6,0,25,2,0,3,0,32,32,14,0,5,11,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,18,4,1,0,5,1,0,0,8,1,0,8,8,1,16,1,20,19,3,17,0,1,1,0,13,5,0,9,11,127,34,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366596540622708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005513541090116,0.0,0.5627797427827389,0.0,0.0,0.051439227370985975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288396338274208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372531502930935,0.0,0.06437831470939852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527663207785333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048589809459791466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056837096593225826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086016608932281,0.0599663065267451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061777115706067365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105073558513324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512669646000997,0.07719539650181059,0.0,0.3988031195074303,0.055950442567803016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530047094281931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793168521723296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563834989897192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489059301803705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749575999026046,0.12466487735539708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058750096420833814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646349413909001,0.05531265905144014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914627452148506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451869613973133,0.0,0.0,0.04737424831158543
mentalhealth,TheDukeof419,2019/02/26,"I Find Myself Taking Joy Only in Things I enjoyed as a Child First time poster here (mid twenties guy). I've been struggling with depression, drugs and alcohol for several years now. Never so intense I can't get out of bed or that it's destroying my life, but more like a gray cloud over me all the time. I'm a very happy, positive person which almost makes it worse because everyone just assumes I'm totally fine. Moving on. 

​

I'm not one to go straight to the doctor (not that it can't be a very good thing). But I've just been doing some soul searching recently trying to really look at myself deeply and see what I can see. And what I've seen over that last several months is interesting. Quick footnote, I grew up in a loving household with great parents. But my oldest sister was a bit off the rails, drugs and depression at a young age. Suicidal and violent. Ran away all the time and ended up having to go into full time care for a while. So from like 9-15 years old, that was my life. 

​

But I digress. I find myself (maybe subconsciously) drifting to the things I found comfort in as a kid during those hard times. Random stuff like painting model cars, listening to old albums, and I really only enjoy the video games I used to love to play (Roller Coaster Tycoon...still a badass game either way). Same with the foods I eat and movies I watch. 

​

It's kind of concerning to me because it makes me think that there's still unresolved issues deep down in me. Just curious if anyone else has any kind of experience like this. ",4.075971302428258,5.8345659072847695,4.751274834437087,83.41059878587197,72.04635761589405,7.814790286975717,25.49724061810155,8.472884824447931,1.7265161147902877,1232,39,233,21,24,395,184,302,0.102,0.685,0.213,0.9921,1,0,3,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,0,1,10,24,2,1,17,0,12,10,0,3,4,42,33,19,1,1,12,2,1,4,0,0,6,1,1,4,19,13,3,0,5,5,0,7,5,5,0,2,7,8,22,19,36,25,9,50,1,2,6,2,11,20,0,7,26,144,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090343139543017,0.08517545283288139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764879094071522,0.31007217589870345,0.05784381851159705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05947603429258684,0.08715417512844105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991681048457484,0.0,0.0,0.1037037552973777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286365289216243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672449139920851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652436428643406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706266734264889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19728553727006348,0.08703776825034823,0.07105684024542226,0.0,0.07533804528629706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127861804064976,0.0,0.08320514799528192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548687133666594,0.07235211973019494,0.10285507043849958,0.0932640635460276,0.0,0.0,0.04444041739690604,0.0,0.09668328637024017,0.07134441776737628,0.0,0.09377911513642592,0.0,0.0842229211641805,0.0,0.09054811085294613,0.07619718645542407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878069678005941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771541126368526,0.0,0.06933537468714321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201609982693604,0.1662243700088452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142910265218358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354021182666674,0.0,0.11355662061729503,0.0,0.08545435305574885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789419982709073,0.09040547754401083,0.0,0.0,0.06560363110305041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851263653159805,0.0,0.057638958689903534,0.12938415333683803,0.0,0.0,0.09444922985386604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427124163946998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898341974647208,0.0,0.08398663591981978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556385278828753,0.0,0.0,0.1921875151011935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792914528473637,0.0,0.0,0.08892333681860408,0.09737352073991824,0.09304199775586453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395464657412796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953055120512064,0.05450310923522813,0.0,0.0,0.2479962861086473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057750258030405566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734646586711116,0.0,0.14036706314988126,0.0,0.06751678746629455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668355925452817,0.0,0.0,0.31007217589870345,0.10955189497090502
mentalhealth,usethisaccountmom,2019/02/26,"Is there a name for feeling constantly rushed by others? I like to work efficiently, walk and travel efficiently and basically do things without lolygagging around. As I'm going through the day, it feels like others are constantly waiting behind me expecting me to hurry up. Some examples: I live with roommates and without fail, whenever I go into the bathroom, as soon as I'm closing the door, one of the other roommates comes out to use the bathroom so I have to sower or do whatever quickly to free up the room. If I'm driving and switch lanes because the person in front is going slow, I'll get over and even though I'm going over the speed limit, there is someone riding right up on my ass. If I go to work and am at the vending machines, there is always someone else waiting for it so I don't have time to look at the options and make a choice without just picking something fast and getting out. 

​

What is going on here? Is this a condition? Are there any easy practices I can do to alleviate this feeling? Am I just unlucky with timing?",5.844145509662753,6.6058972266009865,6.4270935960591125,76.79622205380828,66.88177339901478,8.610685865858281,34.82720727548314,8.617729084823388,2.9874686623721103,839,39,148,12,13,274,117,203,0.017,0.867,0.115,0.951,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,4,14,4,0,0,13,0,17,1,1,3,0,37,38,17,0,3,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,9,16,0,3,3,1,1,13,4,1,0,1,0,4,11,4,36,38,1,40,0,1,1,1,2,17,1,5,12,112,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162458512356314,0.15137043895884827,0.16975701207098726,0.09500427217158347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436717584690588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516294434739025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034359038986182,0.0,0.301943206748795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009824476892757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670570104176957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227391405200104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119173187533823,0.09980536551516964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598031798153036,0.0,0.4763858346032197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650572953360782,0.0,0.12336218031918575,0.0,0.11731711501687064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325425230915378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466780478823998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198512195080935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930740899209825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367433893296961,0.10755182661351552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281387387925613,0.0,0.1372595709033822,0.0,0.1629263576939282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066036798700384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040122503584603,0.0,0.2034139822205825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975701207098726,0.0
mentalhealth,OzymandiasTheVagrant,2019/02/26,"Need help getting a diagnosis when mental health pros just don’t care. I know a woman in desperate need of help identifying the mental health disorder and/or learning disability she has. 

She has been to a number of mental health professionals, but all have been stupidly dismissive and absurdly unhelpful. 

Symptoms:
- gets overwhelmed extremely easily, to the point where she’s incapable of doing complex tasks like filing taxes, cleaning a room, or driving a car. (she says things like “I don’t know where to start and my brain just shuts down.”)
- Gets bored and distracted extremely easily and can’t focus on one thing too long, with the exception of video games. She doesn’t like to drive because she’s been in several accidents due to this problem. 
- Has chronic, low grade, full body muscle and joint pain and weakness, and sometimes has difficulty holding objects like coffee mugs.
- Depression, but that seems like a result of the other three problems.
- Minor anxiety, again mostly due to these other problems. 

It sucks because she’s highly intelligent and really hard working, but can’t get a degree or hold down a job, and everything is a struggle. Currently, she gets up at five a.m. every day and takes a bus to a job caring for abused dogs, where she shovels shit and gets bitten all day. She’s miserable, but it’s the only job she can do. 

“Diagnosis” she has been given from various mental health professionals:

- too much caffeine (even though she rarely drinks coffee)
- minor depression
- Immaturity 
- minor ADHD
- Low self control
- Laziness
- Fibromyalgia 
- Laziness and immaturity 

Whatever she has, it seems to run in the women in her family. It’s very clearly not immaturity or laziness, nor is it just ADHD or depression. 

Any thoughts on what this could be would be a great starting point.  ",6.949254658385093,8.918173777777781,7.020510697032439,69.1224844720497,65.19047619047619,10.176673567977916,33.37819185645273,10.374825546531014,3.956786059351277,1440,62,220,37,23,461,179,315,0.224,0.6459999999999999,0.13,-0.9903,4,0,1,0,1,0,55.0,0,0,0,2,12,26,3,4,18,0,25,12,3,2,3,48,45,23,0,7,13,0,1,5,0,1,8,1,2,3,14,13,1,3,7,3,1,4,7,18,0,3,6,2,18,8,27,35,6,35,0,7,0,0,22,21,2,7,15,145,32,9,0.0,0.1027736535696218,0.0,0.0,0.20849114937635946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898671245965716,0.0,0.06635646782009838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575276238871828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096349464671046,0.0,0.0968314098404576,0.0,0.0,0.17687603512377048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728717300905533,0.06925546358164644,0.0,0.0,0.1118812688277018,0.0,0.2241291489798115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941246154310247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497295277615274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729147449161269,0.0,0.07308285765490273,0.0,0.07795703001926013,0.0,0.08177149817623545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271910899732826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956320284796618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770271125478792,0.0,0.0,0.3688056192982041,0.0,0.0,0.11628104779898993,0.09164640826414973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582305527184152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534094071160172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118858455794548,0.0,0.0,0.07676287060619097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34965726336401565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376446202852723,0.12863439511833574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05877780496171337,0.06597028036959672,0.09229831747847222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639961695019073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24899766763125095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556837194424165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897975865365183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793111703795268,0.09048956264716512,0.09799240423017087,0.089038175630679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578886041699729,0.0,0.12279115687586716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068030836900262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015689447463933,0.0652182799303048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152534547266416,0.0,0.08522238691109571,0.06886249914343137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157023694043102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314832904487122,0.0,0.0,0.061618169327677524,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,taurinae,2019/02/26,"My psychiatrist is retiring and I am not sure how to thank her or whether I should do it at all So I've been seeing my psychiatrist for almost three years now and sadly my last appointment with her will be in a few weeks. I feel like she has helped me improve my life a lot and I really want to kind of show her my gratitude.
My issue is, that I don't think just saying ""thanks"" at the end of the appointment is enough for me but on the other hand I'm scared that bringing her a gift or a card or letter or something will be too much and that it's not appropriate.

I just kinda wanted to ask for advice/an opinion from people who may been in a similar situation. ",6.152600205549843,4.7480550719424475,7.265077081192191,78.34330935251799,66.62589928057554,10.820554984583763,29.92908530318602,9.957137785484203,2.4616610483042134,521,14,114,10,7,178,91,139,0.053,0.823,0.124,0.8323,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,8,0,15,2,1,1,2,28,25,12,0,3,10,0,2,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,2,0,1,2,4,19,5,15,17,5,11,0,1,1,0,10,5,0,9,6,88,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378592722133016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995904281085598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18909454932015213,0.22059897838905487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795025634918587,0.15252195793763734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310221834761108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22283490077499934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22232377387796445,0.0,0.17402816038809446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079890729350434,0.10430361649748647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150710825155886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569445088557849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14801160659904694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677133885020273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697810033752748,0.2137472632384434,0.0,0.1701290865039686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23997903582216554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16436005309122784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012179453075975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931178264931131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679995065198547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518515602971043,0.0,0.17125403199428813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374847603755112
mentalhealth,fcommakatie,2019/02/26,"med management help Hey!

I am the worst at taking meds. I don’t even take my birth control half of the time. I understand that it’s a problem but I’m scared to reach out to professionals about it because of their judgement. 

What are some ways I can be on top of taking meds? 


(I currently have three alarms on my phone from different apps blare when it’s time to take my meds and that doesn’t work) ",1.1614092140921386,3.4673386097561014,2.2096747967479686,95.44819783197832,83.63414634146342,6.083468834688348,20.08672086720868,7.3871296695380915,0.4204509485094857,314,9,71,5,9,99,59,82,0.138,0.799,0.064,-0.7901,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,3,3,4,0,2,3,0,7,0,0,1,0,7,13,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,9,0,12,12,2,11,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,5,45,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899991676964542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18214979567622253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696775210890921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726625155060716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885591821869277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.721576535139362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553986097038945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16259464650669278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4884301186366668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939805304858107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906819883706406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890866527542266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823198143240872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,colorsdripdown,2019/02/26,"Looking for support (mental illness) Hey guys, I've never used reddit before  But I decided to try it. A couple years ago I got caught in to a cult called masters in transformational training you can look them up they used to be called life spring but have changed their name many times. Ever since I have had terrible battles with mental illness, chemical imbalance and on and off psychosis. I had prior fights with spiritualism and many traumas through life and I haven't been able to overcome any of it. I am a Christian so I pray all the time about it but I have turned to nihilism many days because I have lost so much hope. Memory, regression, mimicry, psychosis, dissociation are just a few of what o deal with every day and its exhausting. Does anyone know how to balance out the neurotransmitters and trauma to get myself back to being a human being again? Thanks for your support",4.875435540069689,7.200610585365856,5.167595818815329,78.87792682926832,71.1951219512195,7.3686411149825775,29.397212543554005,8.192908349453996,2.2424090592334496,712,29,122,11,14,225,113,164,0.16,0.743,0.097,-0.9071,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,2,3,2,8,11,2,0,7,0,14,5,0,3,3,24,28,12,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,6,2,15,4,23,19,3,19,2,1,2,0,13,6,0,1,12,84,20,0,0.1377744098247863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212870147746638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369132316667793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633507076407774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594001684847368,0.0,0.08398600145335082,0.0,0.11723587519612365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813661530671677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574705735981364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244476395996998,0.0,0.1777061930888817,0.1420393668753204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056731448303433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462484142034015,0.11608088243895345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198144270438868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019078146874282,0.0,0.0,0.13641832658839462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368410758766186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571721252760995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946282802652138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23139160976206335,0.0,0.1503970434079353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4190448810409037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776884004327219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128004374798873,0.0,0.10626011837982507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396841552853025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126895351370889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684416599093132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606747326425749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935397805212493,0.14985899497165225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379857088966157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872220281570095
mentalhealth,ninjaa55,2019/02/26,"I got into an accident Recently a car bang me or I banged a car but from the look of it, it seems like the car banged me and it was pretty bad. I couldn’t say anything cause the dude have all his homies and I’m (female) alone with my 6 y/o sis. The driver was cussing me and said some bad words. So I called my mom and her first question was whether my baby sis was okay and how badly was the damaged to the car. She went to the scene called my dad and whatnot and it took us about 2 hours to settled it. It was clear that my parents will settle the damage- the cost was little over 500. 

We went to the foreman and the driver dropped of his homies and called out another more aggressive looking homies to come to the foreman. This time they demanded to change scratch that was even near the damage. My parents who wouldn’t want to risk getting beating now has to pay over 3 grand for their car. And it’s about 4 grand to fix ours too because of the damage. 

But what saddens me was it wasn’t my fault entirely and no one wants to listen to me. The driver was going fast as I was about to cross. My car wasn’t moving and I remember vividly as I was about to step on the gas, the car came fast and oh well. 

My parents aren’t talking to me. They wouldn’t want to give me a ride to my training place too. I have to spend 50 bucks a day just to go back and forth from home to my training place. 

Till this day, my parents didn’t even ask me how was I from the accident. I was shaking really bad but I couldn’t just panic and risk being vulnerable because I was alone and with some men. I was shaken up and I have nightmare about the incident too. But no one seems to care about it. They only asked about the car and my baby sis. No one asked about me and I’m sad. It’s all my fault but no one wants to listen. It’s all my fault I’m a waste of space. I don’t have the money to pay my parents back too. If I didn’t went out that day, if only I stayed home that day this wouldn’t happen. I’m so so useless of a child to my parents

Tldr: got into an accident. Was pretty shaken up and nobody cares. ",0.5736327641672858,2.474676449888644,2.2300638455827766,96.84564018807228,82.94209354120267,5.060153427369464,19.331898045038358,6.079149491110277,-0.2511030833951993,1622,42,381,12,45,530,184,449,0.233,0.69,0.077,-0.9976,7,2,0,0,0,0,37.0,3,0,4,2,25,25,1,4,29,1,35,0,0,3,4,63,68,37,0,11,11,11,1,1,0,4,0,4,2,2,20,29,0,0,4,0,6,21,15,18,1,5,29,8,54,7,56,32,6,51,0,6,3,0,38,14,0,8,15,255,74,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134007908317574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167393994323374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409642807065061,0.0,0.2184485256543245,0.0,0.0,0.1197844468969786,0.26013794132041673,0.09496144167663884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386016872327424,0.08908484659831202,0.15882708795503672,0.08001397987264372,0.08239677117324821,0.06709491391788862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092915484207846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289057024356864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625277530440435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04069405290695862,0.07471871297949165,0.0885328041730567,0.0,0.12459070900713536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887743426356435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625905352437008,0.0,0.07670547525812296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038052879021995584,0.07806574884023429,0.0,0.0,0.13081513868170394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122324982864713,0.0,0.08278421990048564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21111978436028245,0.11847696060518766,0.0,0.09138655483972667,0.5189224829777104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275591483809068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848326185716366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725407427066349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04989801299045607,0.0,0.07690649201320424,0.0,0.08823362836513286,0.0,0.07409075816677071,0.06194086263373279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181536463699873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830198514847794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260463574035817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04541799820420747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653810877845586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369148726128844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837649983252016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003202141192409,0.21661306143056613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OmarJDPG,2019/02/26,"I feel i am stuck, Alone, like a Faliure, Desperate, Hedious and I dont Know who to tell I currently am not in a very stable mental state to say the least, but before that here is some background info. I am 17 years of age, live in a high-middle class family, have various pets, go to and have always been to a dying private school with only about 300 people (I'm talking from Pre-Kinder level to Senior level), infact, in my class we are only 13. I live in the United States. A few months ago I became, with the lack of a better term, depresive (Yes I know depresion and sadness are completely diferent but that the only word I could think of). I started seeing the World through different lenses, I started to write a Journal (I would mostly write things I had a problem with). I consider myself a very peaceful, respectful and happy person. I really like to make other people laugh and smile, even when my own smile is not a real one. I even hangout with people  I dislike and are unpopular for the sake of being nice.But when I changed I was very pesamistic, and started isolating myself from the rest of my classmates, and as I stated before, started writing. After that, I realized something. I am Alone, am Ugly and I am Stressed. 

When I say I am alone, I don't mean I don't have friends, I mean that there are certain things I can't say to someone that hurt if they stay inside of me (thats why I used to write, to ""tell"" the pages those things). And that I need Affection. Love from the opposite sex. Now, this is more of a subjective topic but, I have this feeling that I am not attractive. Although I can safely say that I am a pretty decent looking fellow, I, for some reason, keep telling myself that I am Ugly and therefore will never find the Affection you so desperately seek. Last but not least, I am stressed that people that I dislike now think I'm their best friend because I hang out with them and on top of that, I don't have the balls to tell them to fuck off. I really don't know what else to say, Ive been given the world and I still feel like a piece of shit, making me feel even more like a piece of shit knowing that I've been given the world and there's not way one cannot be happy with all that I've received. I just need someone to talk to, and I believe that talking to a stranger about these things might be more helpful than talking to someone you know. I don't use Reddit that much but i just need advice. I feel like I am in front of an irrational wall built by me and I don't know how to topple it over.",5.271083009079117,5.110882243190662,5.968264591439687,82.78941374837875,68.00778210116732,8.643216601815823,29.19559014267185,8.131152278815165,1.8434676523994808,1979,62,405,23,30,648,236,514,0.131,0.6890000000000001,0.18,0.9864,3,3,1,0,0,0,66.0,1,2,4,3,18,25,3,2,29,1,47,5,2,9,3,86,84,29,1,8,13,0,5,5,3,3,0,5,1,1,29,24,0,2,19,2,0,4,15,8,0,2,8,12,67,17,56,69,20,45,0,2,2,3,32,16,3,5,25,292,96,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069470449157038,0.06301892235393516,0.0,0.0,0.22089015441350449,0.0,0.0,0.05915438342960672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04333712911360762,0.0,0.1209884069297716,0.08009653466088404,0.0746068500526321,0.06287525021902443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520609308015362,0.0,0.07453879133248076,0.0,0.0,0.056761315719176815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378245208921871,0.07427619011261112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331949787839878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05938838861313099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086713033702356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701937413702383,0.0,0.17973169501911235,0.1015765259105735,0.0,0.0,0.06497695863824111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098512737930008,0.0657235688393147,0.0,0.0,0.040403320521421336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135788129464614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04765158534022367,0.0751127845368804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610564209805072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318999029734723,0.0,0.0740315587447584,0.2344223960170864,0.05794960995078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736602248453862,0.0,0.12555138334393498,0.0,0.059699520720925825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416346221004376,0.0,0.094909155705784,0.0,0.0,0.15488043665873338,0.0,0.0,0.07164418983316123,0.0754175614834481,0.0,0.0,0.05674509463103518,0.0,0.05226092749487954,0.15814183753999522,0.054830666898834486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634779329081472,0.16220640445472292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19714544706960768,0.062074943749680214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232629855006943,0.0,0.06802560883442764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091845750369517,0.09108693353006828,0.07309459474565305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826767490016611,0.0,0.07194907501483337,0.056651257946998074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595018895727493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070850371829328,0.05473022841180214,0.0,0.0,0.20127762525875706,0.07577479783931097,0.05677430159283866,0.0,0.1628716891041469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285647845515149,0.2485507726233352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188921924513648,0.09110598840888333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280162426085575,0.0,0.17597546554357427,0.0,0.05642965825822509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414962890604772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05050184032228309,0.0,0.0,0.04578102888733618
mentalhealth,Tapesaviour,2019/02/26,"Flashbacks from an abusive childhood Hi. So I've been getting these really intense flashbacks from moments in my childhood. Mainly bad ones that involved physical pain. It gets to the point where i can mentally feel the same panic i felt then. I was beaten by my parents, mainly my mom when i was a child. 

When i got old enough to defend myself, she kept  playing the ""ow you hurt me, you're a bad child for hurting your mom"". I feel like these moments have really affected my mental health. I'm not sure whether i should seek counselling for it or not. I now study abroad in the UK and have access to counselling if i talk to my gp. I really have no idea where to start though because i feel like i have a host of issues. ",4.3953146853146885,5.443970244755249,4.840146853146852,85.83098951048953,70.32867132867133,7.398321678321679,28.28601398601399,7.554174236665415,1.5807152447552446,567,20,112,6,10,180,91,143,0.218,0.726,0.055,-0.9767,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,1,7,11,1,1,8,0,9,2,0,1,1,16,19,9,0,2,5,3,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,3,7,0,1,6,4,22,4,13,12,4,15,0,2,0,0,11,5,0,2,12,77,27,1,0.0,0.17842030464609296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514667710273977,0.09179609475389026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559604447820485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284230826135355,0.2151579624209627,0.14458659533789625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735039698690542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204377305940473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006634157897312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224117922082059,0.16999375876494438,0.0,0.15717311741641068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471378541305679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035114218687613,0.0,0.0,0.3527300317761852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801513504338555,0.0,0.10204126742067443,0.0,0.16023458688928474,0.17668073902805692,0.16720841840751902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235285750302176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894085840082337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658585569694186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192593545323204,0.0,0.0,0.1210356745430176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795041051103944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dolancrewrules,2019/02/26,"should I look into ADHD diagnosis? for starters, I have high functioning autism. I was diagnosed at 12, so I'm not sure if this would affect this overall question. when I made a joke about me having ADHD to my parents once, they aid they already had me looked at, and the doctors said no. but looking at the symptoms I see a lot of correlation with my own behaviors.

 

**Behavioral:** aggression(I've always had anger issues), excitability(yes.), fidgeting(I stim and bite my nails and pens a lot), hyperactivity(yes.), impulsivity(A lot of the time I'll just look at something, say fuck it, and do it, and its typically very risky), irritability(I've been described by my parents as easily irritable) , lack of restraint(I have some issues with portion control, and do a lot of typically unhealthy things or lash out very easily), or persistent repetition of words or actions (again, stimming)

**Cognitive:** absent-mindedness (I'll constantly get stuck in my own train of thought in my classes and outside of class and zone out for a long time) , difficulty focusing(when I need to get something done, even when I try to focus I'll usually get distracted), forgetfulness (I'll forget the words that I just read or the instructions I was just told incredibly often), problem paying attention (see absent-mindedness and difficulty focusing), or short attention span (to a degree yes. when its one of my special interests though, I enter the zone, although its often thinking about these interests that gets me into a state of absent mindedness)

**Mood:** anger(Again, anger issues), anxiety(for the past year or so i've been paranoid and anxious at an increasing rate and have been experiencing sensory overload whenever I enter deep into an anxious or paranoia attack), boredom(I get easily bored), excitement(yes.), or mood swings(from my own biased observation I do tend to switch from one feeling to another almost instantly)

**Also common:** depression or learning disability

​

Should I consider looking into a diagnosis, or will it just be of no importance?",6.06216362126246,9.37454338081396,6.6291893687707635,65.04039534883722,71.58720930232558,10.094219269102991,34.82857142857143,10.158995162802928,4.805749933554816,1649,86,230,53,35,536,195,344,0.173,0.7609999999999999,0.066,-0.9913,2,0,2,0,0,0,101.0,0,0,2,2,17,15,4,1,17,1,20,4,0,3,1,65,43,32,0,7,17,2,1,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,12,19,0,1,7,2,1,4,3,8,0,2,13,11,26,5,38,25,11,36,0,1,7,1,8,17,1,20,14,166,38,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23086006932936384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617736770201073,0.0,0.1059904414862434,0.07680888789240227,0.07991894039279347,0.10406706957534087,0.11670782556755445,0.0,0.10071383322795617,0.0,0.21701192882284945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926752275347992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379287039350826,0.1077250692555058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272528758332287,0.09748585671760636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830834931468974,0.0,0.0982896027276038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343825055729152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856433551715129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879406184194877,0.2509034130525371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147910944390336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30074487783974035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499872384547202,0.4032771674183377,0.0,0.0,0.3266234801838182,0.0,0.09088215545807653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121776023583816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228710240065172,0.1301680974859415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132980338044116,0.0,0.09168789261728624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190417112692154,0.0,0.0,0.10759481287009123,0.0,0.09607316265921907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136285413593744,0.07638056537526347,0.0,0.0,0.15307431992527173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478836092453501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905233219306168,0.09982978640193252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380947255610014,0.06154314891761594,0.09436585778130056,0.07625072514588206,0.11201175552117136,0.0,0.0,0.0917771878353794,0.0,0.0652097243600697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578238933807724,0.1584979497826145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822915450121783,0.0,0.11670782556755445,0.0618512290491826
mentalhealth,Prier-,2019/02/26,"What are people's thoughts on ""the rewired soul"" The rewired soul is a youtube dedicated to mental health. However, in the past week or so many other mental health channels have spoken out against him.

I was wondering if anyone from this community knew about the situation and is willing to give their opinion on whether what he is doing is harmful to mental health?",7.943636363636365,8.776268363636365,7.114696969696968,73.44204545454545,62.33333333333333,9.630303030303034,39.22727272727273,9.516144504307137,3.8697090909090894,296,15,49,5,4,91,50,66,0.0,0.954,0.046,0.4588,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,9,3,0,0,0,9,13,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,10,9,0,6,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,4,2,36,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493770540933994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851261989231415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6153934554135027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19565375400223864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5834422803032886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422343381672066,0.1337896223191752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169201814972669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320638326832914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479875387893588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928106326115453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cara-0,2019/02/26,"youtube ad gave me a panic attack i was doing my homework and listening to music and my autoplay was on

so i was focusing and then the video ended and went pn to the next one and suddenly i just heard loud ass fucking yelling. i wanna emphasize that it sounded so real i thought it my dad and brother were fighting again. i literally bolted up from my bed and was shaking violently. it was so scary

i cant calm down. im so fucking mad its just a stupid ad about some guys watching football. ",2.0269696969696973,4.3142388181818205,4.004333333333335,83.98650000000005,80.01010101010101,6.78828282828283,29.091919191919192,7.908726449838941,2.1603810101010104,389,19,75,7,10,132,68,99,0.287,0.713,0.0,-0.984,0,0,0,0,3,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,7,2,4,0,8,3,1,0,0,13,15,12,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,5,7,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,9,0,1,10,6,12,1,8,5,1,10,0,0,1,3,7,3,3,1,5,54,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31082080692073144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419868519317367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5051645952247029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27052519713730705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951184210233689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905665993750472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851371389978192,0.0,0.0,0.3205582149898643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310977785845749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21690170437564135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532724733138646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SadVehicle,2019/02/26,"Do I have a sleeping disorder, every small thing I think about in bed becomes a million times more terrifying if I'm tired? For many years now I believe I've had a sleep disorder, that I can't seem to search or find any information about. Basically, when I have been lying in bed for a while (sometimes about to fall asleep, and sometimes after having briefly awoken) I have almost like a heightened sense of emotional suggestibility. For instance, when I think about the news on that day, anything about a celebrity death will absolutely terrify me and sadden me to the point where I am almost shaking and panic-stricken. And whilst I typically would be saddened by tragic daytime news, when I am really sleepy in bed, these feelings intensify to the point where I'm induced to panic attack like symptoms. I get to so frightened by thinking about celebrity deaths, accidents, animal abuse, politics, crime that I get heart palpitations, start sweating and become existential. Tiredness does this to me.

​

Another possibly related symptom to this is when I am awoken by noises outside, for instance a plane going by, instead of just assuming it's a regular plane, I'll jump to the worst conclusion and assume that it's too loud and it's going to crash into our neighborhood. Or if I hear people talking outside, without context I'll assume they are going to rob us. I've been suffering from this for years. When I am really tired and trying to sleep (but still awake) every little small thing becomes intensified, is there a name for this condition? Thanks",7.925500625782227,8.708090861702129,7.82622027534418,68.49794117647059,62.368794326241144,10.606925323320818,37.15561118064247,10.46071229359064,4.203056487275761,1261,58,197,28,17,405,161,282,0.237,0.733,0.03,-0.9962,0,0,0,0,1,0,38.0,2,0,1,1,20,9,1,2,13,0,19,10,6,1,0,34,34,20,2,3,7,0,1,2,0,2,4,2,3,0,14,9,0,0,12,0,0,6,2,6,0,1,3,3,21,3,38,28,2,33,0,2,0,0,8,12,0,10,17,136,35,0,0.0,0.12100150412161158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045270042166258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065246682459713,0.12409313387493245,0.0694485471996224,0.10708703661503984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404022806375791,0.0,0.0,0.11618200633325312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.338367336985036,0.0,0.11505997806987114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586221926038367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340883476911413,0.0,0.08937033385376215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148769540912706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208954619402084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163750210896225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933404605781784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671226432055746,0.0,0.17412008619949718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510237210606045,0.12101869544908182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997862978562898,0.10235614579442412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353878821114328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396435227943207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080066232716102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19308239505634384,0.11513066784233307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084786525152514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297082494130147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065964598366802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020086040884701,0.0,0.07228464766384664,0.0,0.08155720998244953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122940940495926,0.0,0.08208425997886944,0.0,0.09402304024617483,0.0,0.0,0.1356947125333866,0.1963128568434689,0.0,0.0,0.0595499475114854,0.2347554813462564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933621645000664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228438806042726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984449197104548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725467170904681,0.0,0.12409313387493245,0.13153038897612904
mentalhealth,charbonne,2019/02/26,"Please help me out. I don’t know what’s happened to me. Lately I’ve been having a lot of conflict with people, and a lot of it hits my mood real hard. There’s a lot that has changed with me gradually the past year.

I’ve stopped doing things I love. I’ve stopped trying to get healthier. I feel guilty when I am happy, because I think that: (a) what did I do to deserve my happiness and others don’t? and (b) why can’t I just be happier to help let people who want me to be happy to feel okay?

It’s not like I’m always down. I look okay in school. When I get home I cry so much (to sleep most times) and throw myself a pity party to the point it affects my studies. I’m supposed to graduate soon. Why am I being so self-destructive? Why can’t I just be ok again? Why can’t I just do what I want to do without feeling like I’m a failure?

I feel terrible. When I open this with my friends, they ice me out. When I tell my boyfriend, he desperately tries but nothing works out and he feels bad for not being able to help. I don’t want to do this to them anymore. I just want to be okay.",0.2852229182019137,2.0197415127118643,2.4617391304347827,95.688861459101,83.02542372881356,5.460280029476787,20.854089904200443,6.498293943080001,0.08544789977892409,831,25,201,8,23,281,118,236,0.116,0.718,0.166,0.8506,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,1,13,15,0,0,8,4,24,2,1,1,0,40,44,12,0,4,8,0,6,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,13,12,0,3,7,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,2,7,32,11,26,34,5,20,0,1,1,1,11,7,0,4,14,129,45,3,0.11113856830074564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247619195129972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102195959301776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279606227002338,0.06774903968523842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117569868813927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208049861324638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28097499736597953,0.07939741540058863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586538217801737,0.0,0.116130629723789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827946890759102,0.3549272177082716,0.09955832735794044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234815188945446,0.0,0.11148104569061816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061078850613431775,0.0,0.1253691458985376,0.0,0.0,0.11364671595589035,0.0,0.10859338129163944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332840640894556,0.0,0.0,0.2834581092494437,0.10030689703083294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169963546861311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664045370832807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060943390341908,0.15409897921790447,0.0,0.0,0.12199677370853187,0.10506187020413084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650002205533178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124781645253373,0.0,0.0,0.11594176515878267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121883124561943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858336391101743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714000732554083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383552638970181,0.0712131069884164,0.0,0.0,0.06480579292885587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509115850979657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262209628339175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011410855717715,0.0,0.0,0.1071336138528603,0.0,0.08091020137690284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156959416458658
mentalhealth,silverwolf365,2019/02/26,Is it a thing to be more depressed at night or at certain times during the day? I don't know I always feel very iffy on if this is an actual thing but usually during the daytime I feel fairly fine. Sometimes not so much but usually I'm good during the day but when it turns to night I just start to hate myself and crawl into bed and I feel so alone. I don't feel this way at any other time in the day other than at night is this a common thing or am I just a fucking weirdo? Can depression be more severe at certain times? ,2.8119642857142857,3.6102734107142855,4.303928571428571,89.14107142857144,73.82142857142857,7.028571428571429,22.035714285714285,7.1686216300943375,0.5422285714285713,410,9,91,4,8,137,64,112,0.2,0.718,0.083,-0.9551,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,2,0,8,0,9,1,0,0,2,19,19,11,0,1,9,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,4,8,4,12,17,3,23,0,2,0,1,0,8,1,3,14,64,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.1498375867689628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902611786283208,0.0,0.0,0.1277615832587514,0.0,0.0,0.10441573699162143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970711026197298,0.0,0.26449584204281834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105474804888656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194970390180275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878610287329464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159371272428734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438421277236781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128731034321764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322742121140189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346193202871105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185974455244586,0.0,0.10867980776192923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30602504990450274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26859964281259696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701266324258687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382158341014514,0.12669054987445064,0.0,0.12187672432424915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,forlbw,2019/02/26,"Ten things you can do for your mental health 1. Value yourself

2. Take care of your body

3. Surround yourself with good people

4. Give yourself

5. Learn how to deal with stress

6. Quiet your mind

7. Set realistic goals

8. Break up the monotony

9. Avoid alcohol and other drugs

10. Get help when you need it",-0.09822727272727504,2.0002727833333367,1.0906060606060637,96.9586363636364,104.5,3.515151515151515,17.12121212121212,5.565023196281405,-0.4753333333333334,237,7,49,2,11,74,54,60,0.071,0.769,0.16,0.7351,0,1,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,5,0,1,2,4,0,2,1,0,2,4,1,1,0,8,7,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,5,2,6,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,1,21,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788948004389579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898759661984378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660736712648264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690459449201216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026393487121597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634470284646674,0.2503437232352244,0.0,0.21888708545127952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27739615782631083,0.0,0.0,0.17492095672965507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26299377324512674,0.0,0.2635026948169827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350403086611348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092194609106724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29893729116105194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19621501762509014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337515398065806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cushionbiter47,2019/02/26,"There is an angrier version of me inside my head Hey so im 21 and for the last few years ive been dealing with this, well it seems like it's another me in my head it take place of my normal conscious and feels really dark and angry and just hurt. Ive been through alot of stuff in my life and im not sure if the voice is the part of me that wants to come out and live the way it wants to. Any help or advice would be really helpful because I'm starting to lose ",0.8000862998921257,2.221921155339807,2.735469255663432,95.83442286947144,80.16504854368931,6.131175836030206,20.182308522114347,6.937597516519254,0.09773441208198497,361,9,89,4,9,121,70,103,0.131,0.775,0.094,-0.6437,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,6,0,8,3,2,0,1,22,16,9,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,2,2,9,3,13,12,4,9,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,4,4,56,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17032701276096449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185321134657456,0.18277204184385545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625357735734746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014672272004373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969888546793497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813290566718247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35777061968459795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336634434585977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18659511821369626,0.0,0.3765546072116297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208032441631996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231154637393582,0.08515571064309273,0.0,0.15391286750312222,0.0,0.0,0.1950006305459092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707800708053403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18875331674446774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18210968454440826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22332611172071712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867903383594806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337266082895244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199535395585772,0.0,0.0,0.16427864825975952,0.0,0.13105427026513386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20561701802725565,0.13835372073842184,0.0,0.0,0.15671945735452886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381995086257848,0.0,0.0,0.11224550850213427
mentalhealth,failedbct503,2019/02/26,"Former U.S. Army Trainee here, I keep having intrusive thoughts from my two months in U.S. Army Basic Training. So I went to Basic Training for the U.S. Army back in October 2018. Its sort of a tradition for the men in my family and there were a lot of college benefits. 

When I got there I was totally unprepared mentally for it. Every minute I felt like I was being yelled at for something different. I never took myself for a sensitive guy, but I realized how sensitive I was here. Having to constantly do exercises anytime one person minorly messed up, having Drill Sergeants belittle us every hour, and having to constantly check to make sure that I wasn't somehow not following rules(I'm also a naturally absent minded person, so I got more exercise and was belittled even more.), made me feel like I was losing my head and I was powerless. Eventually I was given an uncharacterized discharge in December because I had failed the Physical Training Test too many times. 

Now that I'm back in the civilian world, I keep having thoughts and memories from basic training flood back to me. In those moments I feel entirely helpless and scared. It usually takes me around thirty seconds before I am able to avert my thoughts to something else, and it will take upwards to a half an hour before I'm able to get back to my normal self.

My dad and brothers experienced basic training and had full careers in the military but I am the only one who failed it. They keep telling me that basic training today is basically nothing and that I didn't experience any real mental trauma. In a way I feel they are right. I was never in any real danger. Other people have experienced worse and came out fine. But the memories just keep coming back and I always feel really scared and powerless when they do.

Any advice on how to deal with this will be welcome.",6.711411483253587,7.7236973713450325,7.275651249335461,70.58794258373206,65.05263157894737,10.545667198298778,34.258904837852214,10.537671172512404,3.921334502923976,1479,64,243,37,22,487,183,342,0.163,0.7929999999999999,0.044,-0.9937,3,0,2,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,3,3,22,15,1,2,15,0,29,3,1,4,4,52,56,23,0,1,5,2,5,2,0,2,2,1,0,5,13,18,0,5,9,2,1,5,5,9,0,5,24,8,38,6,35,28,5,43,0,4,0,0,15,17,0,3,22,180,51,6,0.1795275734498498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771613350056988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178406781315955,0.07469066138216568,0.0,0.0,0.18312735931306476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799088012131158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451140560179167,0.0,0.05471917123016795,0.0,0.1527647421752413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102665858667676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732355403465849,0.0,0.19400552856037584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254252259874922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378405187943792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498612557113962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928813454937781,0.0,0.15125972359225034,0.0,0.0,0.08780620773721247,0.08462130935182326,0.0,0.18154907067253925,0.064127267171939,0.0861873120974578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046897873700103634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143584600643792,0.0,0.0,0.08888026150012071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212354203287006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679849677232504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31914471215191736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770810409958985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004227166577792,0.0,0.07631396149014102,0.0,0.08493666539668775,0.059918024666114574,0.09100639075564153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809215687015341,0.0,0.0906358358129939,0.0,0.07164859816735601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846273216836386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794945233391163,0.08613077430528109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216525299797378,0.06826940471545072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223090740027019,0.15675655243509212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20434168217365664,0.057504980309110075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665778340208786,0.0,0.0,0.17973841986170827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364320630855627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820909696536665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460130667746132,0.0,0.1349823927521002,0.0,0.07845750609663908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137872598419442,0.0523419859005547,0.0,0.08508557401113903,0.0,0.09973086988943937,0.0,0.0,0.08768617644190524,0.0,0.1079747831065364,0.0,0.09886212934523833,0.0,0.0,0.07125031574189193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321192959890181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147696740754144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,minorluck,2019/02/26,"my life feels boring if i’m not miserable? posting on my shiny & never-before-used throwaway! since i use my main account to talk about my place of work. 

i have PTSD and severe combined-type ADHD. for almost 6 MONTHS (but probably longer, i just cant recall) ive been going thru the PTSD motions, and realizing how much my ADHD affects me at all times. ive been struggling with work, because the environment was extremely toxic and exhausting to be in. 

but ive been getting better. i dont have a lot of problems with trauma (at least not as often, and almost no nightmares! woohoo!), ive accepted my ADHD for what it is and am learning to love how fast my brain goes at all times, enjoying my interests, finding better friends, not looking for relationships (trust is one of the things i still majorly struggle with with my PTSD)... ive moved locations at my job, and i love the people i work with. 

ive even found a little bit of spirituality (before i was a mostly optimistic nihilist who didn’t believe in anything spiritual), and stopped doing drugs. my life is going well. 

but now that im doing okay... i feel bored. theres barely any conflict in my life. i want to create problems in my friendships and i keep getting waves of suicidal thoughts. i almost went thru with it, but the reasoning was “im doing this because i can & to be dramatic, not because i really feel this way.” 

it just super frustrating and i dont know why i feel this way or how to stop feeling this way. ",3.3203806228373693,5.321910754325263,4.801444982698964,81.22824359861595,74.67474048442907,7.392166089965397,27.82297577854672,8.238735603445708,2.0622264636678205,1164,47,216,20,25,389,158,289,0.138,0.688,0.175,0.942,1,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,0,6,12,22,1,3,8,1,28,8,1,6,2,60,48,19,1,4,12,0,5,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,11,15,0,4,13,0,1,5,9,10,1,1,10,7,36,12,33,36,9,28,0,1,2,2,6,11,0,8,8,149,47,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31686211104812845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640124284259235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19044674379029874,0.0,0.05976482067996189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232187515307592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072165959990595,0.0,0.07478367069157445,0.09901631112628352,0.0,0.15545429934486835,0.0959476691822066,0.0,0.0,0.09810873676441677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20600115497486607,0.0,0.10191871025364074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05804722041126861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218650917438207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032530720340561,0.0,0.0,0.0963613775358797,0.06789974091612135,0.0,0.09183258107817534,0.0,0.0998941532794611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18986178444139645,0.0,0.08721231180021381,0.07811623518844395,0.0,0.0,0.048299303245496326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18622734543848649,0.0,0.08808386849781437,0.0,0.0,0.07380127421018139,0.0,0.0,0.07471669292252625,0.1586393060330959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014897671498044,0.09340785745015906,0.06460559471754833,0.0,0.0677823378489804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059553157431872776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060928400357211775,0.0,0.09182113034731523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416954616522852,0.0,0.09475490543310693,0.16818817137151298,0.3081986218502046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05630138799473501,0.09036042777166146,0.0,0.09435561096874706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992850461164443,0.0,0.07269938866296734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701850827166849,0.14695160760969875,0.0,0.183752989203582,0.0,0.09613193690644424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063864221930301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058386895685997316,0.0,0.0,0.06977088129290067,0.10249291246640843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571484634288962,0.07590443135965037,0.0,0.0,0.05183685607149284,0.2092770912937496,0.0,0.0,0.07901917878618697,0.08147028499018798,0.07930255211776155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919440025168624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Murrels24,2019/02/26,"How do I know if my medication is really working? How do I know if my medication is really working? Would you advise speaking to a doctor and changing or weaning off or....? I don’t want to take a medication if it’s not working and I’m dealing with the unpleasant side effects, but after 5 years I just don’t know if it’s doing a whole lot? But I know the risks of coming off a medication and the need to do it slowly and have a safety plan in place. I started a new medication in addition several months ago and noticed a clear difference in mood. And I’m worried that won’t work without the combination of the other medication if I decide to wean off the original.  ",5.393944444444448,5.399071829629634,7.6860648148148165,70.0135416666667,67.74074074074073,10.898148148148149,34.65277777777778,10.686352973137794,3.8367222222222215,527,24,100,14,8,191,73,135,0.06,0.8440000000000001,0.097,0.6868,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,6,3,2,0,1,13,0,11,7,0,4,1,35,22,17,0,8,12,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,5,9,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,1,10,0,15,20,2,16,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,8,7,75,15,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641863339235047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699883383309066,0.1034139530272027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376808340646475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542852765683496,0.0,0.12287805375993804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26390921000509016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206370526274344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7256370518248954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958241619626376,0.0,0.0,0.08901685189432902,0.0,0.1159467288123035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667971374751153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542852765683496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381645106097944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562430679759854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497324697253028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026397582105634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080963293321861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403349224164732,0.0,0.11572560351471785,0.0,0.3495964169639349,0.121918380177606,0.0,0.08528131916810651,0.0,0.0,0.0773093913304884
mentalhealth,KingOfTheUniversal,2019/02/26,"Unable to take criticism given to me as a person in a positive way Not sure if this necessarily belongs here (let me know if it doesn't and I'll post in the proper subreddit) - 

but honestly, I have a tough time taking criticism to heart. Whenever someone tells me that I'm acting bad or coming off in a jack-assy/arrogant/etc. way, or that I'm doing something wrong, or just criticizes me  in general, I have a hard time taking it to heart and working to improve myself. Instead, I just feel bad about myself and sometimes feel like crying (and I do internally). 

Like, I didn't mean to come off as jack-assy, sorry if that's how I looked to you, I didn't know. Geez, am I really that bad? Do I really have another inadequacy? These are the thoughts that go in my head. 

I just got roasted and was told I sounded arrogant and rude and that I was insulting in a discord server. Instead of taking that to heart IN A POSITIVE WAY and improving my behavior, there's literally tears in my eyes and I'm feeling down. 

I have homework to do and an early class tomorrow. I even have exams in my two toughest classes I'm taking at my university this semester later this week. but honestly, I'm hung up on this one thing and I feel like it's gonna screw up this whole week or at least the next few days. I'll keep dwelling over the fact that I am really such a bad person. Not sure if I'll even be able to give my 100% on the exams because of this.

How can I take criticism - on me as a person - positively and use it to improve as a person? And how can I move on quickly and not let it affect the next few days/weeks? How can I not let criticism stop me and make me feel shit about myself? There's literally a few tears dripping down my cheek and I'm not feeling very good about myself because of the self-criticism I just received on a discord server. 

I'd like to say that I do take criticism on my work in a positive way. It's just criticism on ME AS A PERSON that I have a hard time taking to heart positively. 

I want to improve as a person, but I have a hard time accepting that I need improvement, that I have an inadequacy, and that there's something wrong with me.  It's chewing away at my positive mental health and making me feel like shit.

I legitimately don't know what to do.",4.087223452858922,4.7030778690987125,5.972151460611937,79.01931815035306,70.7381974248927,9.446379620656236,28.980755918593374,9.618343705623,2.540174664266926,1781,65,366,40,31,620,176,466,0.219,0.626,0.154,-0.9868,0,0,2,0,0,0,52.0,0,1,0,2,22,24,5,1,26,0,30,12,9,8,3,71,71,39,0,6,21,0,10,5,0,1,1,2,1,6,29,21,1,2,13,0,0,6,9,13,0,2,8,14,51,11,56,58,5,53,0,0,2,1,13,28,3,8,19,252,80,7,0.06685948644355362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010800112207981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281668839342694,0.0,0.2232995138310113,0.08151384473734644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518705485520972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344200637862502,0.04311883760878247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456600089163412,0.08832012045826547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23664315674056655,0.14329329142329533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413771169907337,0.03799778692334125,0.05607856510200401,0.053473639039233085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967890193578553,0.0,0.06861712205339197,0.07106850759896037,0.0,0.3169152534059486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942778355886811,0.0,0.0,0.11023267566824994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20510506427199304,0.0,0.1633208393660607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561451296206368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925845274698553,0.0,0.0,0.07282958126711872,0.0,0.0,0.06737863681606396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106105308140663,0.0,0.04957546202441842,0.0,0.0,0.142211644674111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530571835126136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502747480313926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403290634384448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849569715220746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531693471632023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974902587280586,0.0,0.1372606040753413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05664982589638875,0.10294339824643188,0.06612574168531615,0.07484372120678046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589752443643625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260285494470572,0.0,0.4021601043183943,0.0,0.058438138102820274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04441847192368227,0.0,0.0,0.05307896395907423,0.15594521685993368,0.0,0.0,0.06388710449716126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531200319200348,0.0,0.0,0.057745129512687635,0.0,0.0551660784077992,0.039435457373969716,0.21227979314385031,0.16089194136889792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464622892431548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734900484709476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462007052960147,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,goonso,2019/02/26,"it’s just a wall of text but any words of encouragement in the comments would be appreciated i just need to write this all out somewhere. no need to read sorry if this is the wrong sub mods

im a 19yo guy in college i don’t even know what to type i feel so drained and empty and so much directionless energy i haven’t had money to buy groceries in three weeks my biological mom was helping me some financially but she’s cut me off suddenly and took almost two grand out of my student loans because she wasn’t going to be able to make rent or pay her own bills and she’s supporting my ten year old sister on her own right now she said she’d pay me back by february and now she’s saying Maybe mid march but i hardly have money to eat i’m working over 40 hours a week and i’m failing all of my classes now i tried talking to my parents and being honest with how hard this has been and that i’m struggling in school and they just shat on me and told me school should be my priority and that i’m not taking it seriously but i have to make rent and i’m working minimum wage i talked with a classmate about money today and she was saying how it’s a struggle for her too and eventually said she “only has about 25 hundred dollars” in her checking account and i almost cried because i have 16 dollars in the bank and a couple dollars in change in my wallet and even when my paycheck comes in it has to go to rent and bills i’m so tired of being stressed all the time and i’m tired i’m just tired i want to drop out of school but i’d feel like such a failure the term is over in two weeks and i feel so fucking stupid because i’ve been trying to study and learn the material and really try in my classes but i’m still just fucking failing my phone plan is about to be shut off because i can’t pay for it and i don’t get my next paycheck for another week i have to pay rent in two days and utilities in five i’m so stressed i just want to give up i almost broke down like four different times in classes today i don’t know how i’m going to get through this week i work 44 hours and don’t have any days off and still have to prepare for final exams and a final project i don’t know what else to say i’m tired of typing i just want to feel okay and not be this stressed i want to be able to eat normal and go out with friends i’m just tired ",1.187469138403202,2.9739333049504992,2.9707225616178654,92.90142616389299,80.30693069306929,5.723614914682957,22.031809563935127,6.6644487293756285,0.3296492521592582,1849,57,424,18,47,615,209,505,0.175,0.7390000000000001,0.086,-0.9945,7,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,6,30,22,4,5,14,1,36,9,0,5,3,86,80,46,0,10,18,3,6,2,1,2,5,5,4,1,14,37,2,0,8,1,22,6,11,14,0,7,10,11,51,8,68,59,8,66,0,3,0,2,32,31,2,6,30,263,65,25,0.13849451912610924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080233831194387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418102218517768,0.07261178943165017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05324686822574829,0.0,0.1688499467992488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325441875876372,0.059650382542173835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076620775602593,0.07606486302920898,0.08931750747063802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234864771549501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171446826061335,0.05784719975066156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147432370987704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005398032970728,0.049470256068102916,0.0,0.15171397614403906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053500260963161635,0.1280359512611384,0.07235767009291455,0.0664282812515429,0.1574192536536272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685656740060637,0.0,0.0,0.12406388604112707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046414978415530536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638920374280045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479892321750033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416944865069778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766142641664268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244616694424364,0.0,0.0695681796953802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110155347510327,0.0,0.0,0.05090470347064962,0.10269193107433017,0.0,0.0,0.07364524613834024,0.0,0.06784761178645536,0.0,0.0,0.07266335026856098,0.0,0.0,0.052665661298726775,0.0,0.0,0.07689088688410574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926599885493663,0.0,0.04436156765351325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059136781306250524,0.13174000261469115,0.16520460055807482,0.0,0.21024577083767612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751663772419723,0.0,0.0,0.11060190187477437,0.0,0.2379675056022332,0.14478454177457012,0.0,0.0,0.07858096953500221,0.0,0.0,0.0520653212636328,0.1113166483944221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075726784585445,0.3979476909216765,0.13127661039248045,0.0661687240386135,0.07693625331166659,0.14104303120144734,0.0,0.20293353171825526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337531129967886,0.0,0.27772987345587696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123848907835413,0.0,0.0,0.04919126639265632,0.0757110077152777,0.0,0.04459296479802104
mentalhealth,Idfkchief,2019/02/26,"Help pls Yo, so I’m a first year college student who’s still kinda getting used to everything that comes with university. I was hoping you could give me some advice on how you handled a situation similar to the one I’m in.

Essentially, I’m working 11+ hours a week, am a STEM double major, and have a relatively demanding social life. Realistically, I should have next to no free time if I want to be healthy/successful, but as a (self proclaimed) introvert, constant social interaction and exposure to stimulus flips the switch that makes me want to isolate and take time to recharge. However, I don’t have much time to do this, so I involuntarily (low willpower) eat away at the time I should be using to study, sleep, etc.

The stress and relative dip in mental stability due to this unhealthy and irresponsible lifestyle causes me to make poor decisions in personal life. (Ie, I’ve been pulled aside by managers to discuss poor work performance, and a close friend of mine’s expressed concern that I haven’t been spending too much time with him. (I’ve also been falling behind on course content and hitting mental blocks when it comes to assignments))

Any ideas on how I can address the dip in willpower? I’m worried that continuing like this will lead to a general increase in depression/anxiety.",9.08285216178522,8.373410364016735,9.06285564853557,65.56016910739193,60.422594142259406,12.318131101813115,41.25557880055789,11.538034831475384,4.906029009762904,1043,51,177,26,12,342,152,239,0.138,0.779,0.083,-0.9477,3,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,0,5,8,6,0,1,13,0,18,4,1,8,0,34,35,16,0,7,2,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,1,2,9,12,1,1,2,0,4,6,3,2,0,2,4,0,15,5,30,24,7,33,0,1,0,0,14,12,0,4,16,110,24,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792689335700985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469126284284708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902548569905162,0.0,0.10014826272947508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299728911364885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448394905952915,0.0,0.2255403118267287,0.0,0.1414706940009633,0.0,0.10452356175784222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395691695380105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600285695220772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765636991325415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135472667740898,0.0,0.0,0.1011432368594756,0.0,0.06839675950222654,0.12558389929011696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774837862832034,0.0,0.0,0.13002637631474387,0.12892316122282074,0.0,0.0,0.14778510201144274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849357720197536,0.06395759156222301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477119534857122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26385948971535234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247257443990684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922770542882865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871019280180227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430838299687635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136571050147409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715195572322284,0.13100777410607772,0.2668991036655429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454747469485708,0.0,0.14996066281220682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843045671045084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816827863457338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261339962747968,0.0,0.0,0.15443202995918118,0.0,0.105010696651525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906127814174462,0.13294873988345549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430382804932697
mentalhealth,myBPiD,2019/02/26,What do you tell work when you need to take several days off for a crisis? I called out today and I need to take off the rest of the week. I can’t function right now. Today I told them I am feeling unwell and couldn’t come. I don’t know if “unwell” is enough of an excuse for an entire week. I don’t work in a corporate environment and my being absent dramatically impacts everyone. I’ve also only been there a month. ,1.1064367816091938,3.2385725172413795,3.642068965517243,86.16816091954023,82.44827586206897,6.16551724137931,18.86206896551724,7.3871296695380915,0.49011724137931,327,8,68,5,9,114,58,87,0.054000000000000006,0.909,0.037000000000000005,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,1,2,4,0,0,0,7,0,9,0,0,0,0,11,17,6,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,11,0,10,13,2,14,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,8,48,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665915790821734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128019391252108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952003549629328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440217336605398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533517408869166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991372256457525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537441022448617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453239471333752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634464164047802,0.0,0.0,0.3090551699079651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849925822518685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779743335548396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354351580009768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31338502531027185,0.0,0.18215270179001547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3950818209896481,0.1991372256457525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33433533611241845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30343855614064885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RossVlogs,2019/02/26,"Feeling movements faster, walking, using phone, speaking etc I know I am not doing it any faster it feels faster in a way where I could be walking and then it comes on. The next few mins consist of ""feeling faster"" looking around, using hands, speaking.

Years ago I remember I way layed up on the sofa and I was ill with sickness bug. And I also shouted through to my dad why are you throwing things around through there he told me he wasn't. I have seen people telling me they get a sound louder or higher pitch sounds. I don't get the sound feeling louder anymore but every now and again I get this so called ""fast feeling""",2.256733921815893,4.758639049180328,2.4814754098360647,93.98666456494327,80.63934426229507,4.081715006305172,24.958385876418664,4.713530739802397,0.2995175283732663,492,19,96,1,13,149,84,122,0.017,0.933,0.05,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,0,8,0,0,0,5,0,9,3,1,2,0,21,24,9,0,1,3,1,6,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,5,8,0,0,7,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,4,14,15,0,11,18,2,26,0,0,2,0,11,7,0,1,12,61,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566562407874921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132709119926826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017920688697332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752639265581318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146458199071276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045620436107415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522331250626676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110070452772458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197095330780492,0.0,0.0,0.1488986163791849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4467878954502619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769948935208407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712355682150214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840467186077222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879492718713471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251901283252313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200195218941342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446562805896272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740838065441135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886851705746486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30526768946093336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805525007872303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946701938019647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380524478971556
mentalhealth,gaminggrumps,2019/02/26,"Really Struggling with Mental Health Lately I'm really struggling and I dont know what to do anymore. 
I keep thinking about everything from my past, (it's a long story but I had an absolutely horrid teenage life, from family fallout to leaving school with no gsces) and it's making me sink even further into this depression state. 
I cant breathe I cant think and I just constantly want to be alone. 
I was referred to the mental health team the other day but I dont know how long itll be until they get back to me and I'm really struggling and every day is getting harder 
This post has been 110% gibberish but I'm just trying to figure everything out and I cant and it's just making me drown",1.4822074468085131,3.9441674468085135,3.412832446808512,86.29031250000004,83.75177304964538,6.3618794326241135,21.57845744680851,7.6454224807358475,1.1450457446808509,554,18,107,10,16,186,82,141,0.211,0.779,0.01,-0.984,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,7,4,0,3,4,0,14,4,1,3,0,28,27,12,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,11,0,1,6,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,14,0,14,21,0,14,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,9,70,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928212189443998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333693636991038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340785766667453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532656475514427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734586917019771,0.0,0.11582859031922135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31522228296219224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882366382791466,0.0,0.11330633811620182,0.0,0.24172633324237894,0.0,0.12677704892678565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052191047814713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858947743715806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953320356634492,0.0,0.0,0.14781486673107394,0.0,0.1517008212095078,0.14239633284022446,0.0,0.0,0.09498815510083068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23802352701493856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953469174318998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710511423526089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283776661459606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879595991261367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584565905925024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610230654710742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4217673204182809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234043884715214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130400955238926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932058494736201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Enderdemon,2019/02/26,"3DS Causes Me Mental Breakdown(?) Hey Reddit, just a fair bit of warning here. I'm letting all my emotional baggage out on this one. It's alot, but maybe not comparitively to some. It's really exactly what it sounds like. I didn't remember why I put my 3ds away for a while, so I open it up and boot up Animal Crossing: New Leaf. Big mistake. Let me tell you, if you've never played an animal crossing game: That music is powerful. Just one minute of the 9 PM theme was enough for me to put it down and start bawling my eyes out. About everything, and all my emotional baggage just spills out onto myself. I wished I could turn back the clock, back to where the only thing I had to worry about was waking up as early as I could on Saturday morning to get onto the family desktop and log into Hypixel. Back before my parents get divorced, back when my grades were good, back when I had recess, cub scouts, Chuggaconroy, Old School Versus, hell, even all the way back to watching SpongeBob DVDs in the backseat of my mom's minivan! But most of all, back when I still had my brother. One of three siblings, actually. Figured this was the only place on Reddit and unpack some of this stuff without scaring people away and making them super uncomfortable, so I'm just gonna let it out. My brother hung himself on December 8th, 2017. Because of this, my mother and I quit the boy scouts, because it was just too much emotionally to handle that he wouldn't be showing up to the meetings again. Ever. My dad cries excessively every morning, and I can never forget the screams that I heard that night. It may not seem like much compared to some people, but very much still.  I came to this SubReddit to say this because I need to ask 2 questions about what just happened.

1. What can you classify that as, cause I'm not sure whether to call it a panic attack, mental breakdown, I dont know?

2. What do I do with my 3DS now? There are so many memories attached to it. It seems wrong to not play with it ever again, but I don't think I can really play the thing without having it all spill out again.

I feel weird typing this, even wincing to press post. Honestly, part of me is hoping this practically goes completely unnoticed. I hope my emotional baggage didn't make anyone feel uncomfortable. I really hope I don't wanna type anything out like this again",4.359967679379444,5.830751109890113,5.215491273432452,81.50553813833226,70.86813186813188,7.990303813833227,27.66806722689076,8.4952907291091,1.9901997414350352,1845,65,348,30,34,601,235,455,0.103,0.7859999999999999,0.111,0.3822,2,0,0,0,1,0,61.0,0,2,1,3,37,21,2,2,16,0,30,2,2,4,11,79,55,24,0,11,19,6,3,3,0,3,0,4,0,1,34,19,0,0,9,5,0,5,14,8,0,4,12,9,44,13,58,34,16,61,1,0,2,0,22,25,1,13,32,255,78,4,0.0,0.0,0.07310391650158636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05238064976249845,0.0,0.061646708061460526,0.0,0.07003319265895727,0.08522392658176886,0.14076575581806194,0.4032222961017042,0.0,0.13699812411580484,0.0,0.06374512697755759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817851851702371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649416667231289,0.0856800869604276,0.0,0.15391180465181198,0.0,0.0,0.07854446287569818,0.0,0.0,0.11962327200596662,0.0,0.08228800181198223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779703951384027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370664842309423,0.0,0.07740476785533415,0.0,0.0989581656421013,0.13552551772412125,0.06311711818894399,0.0,0.06732663767225598,0.0,0.07062095654835461,0.0,0.07575614895093387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827751014854466,0.0,0.0,0.06283315631298067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624498758945102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232154212925362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04117002000355945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298097060890301,0.0,0.10979557494442574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000951885100427,0.07594964455650158,0.07525980155425363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098861433128966,0.0,0.0,0.08773676193633807,0.0,0.0,0.16520819855375454,0.05554676281396514,0.11555447046291535,0.07235108080476234,0.0,0.07030042458994464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786081991138008,0.0,0.15228820198191656,0.11394885522148925,0.0,0.08789382554574697,0.08318160563589741,0.08112307355594893,0.0,0.10386996469665163,0.0,0.07826774961812523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174558775102202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506157598639308,0.08391928545234438,0.07967879871237729,0.0,0.0,0.1439728389987202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486140168424422,0.0,0.0,0.05957352680632761,0.07500060703592815,0.07581557670067632,0.0,0.13639528200807424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302354211221343,0.0,0.119650639459973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575703384875423,0.0,0.0,0.07060426325906631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547693685412863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953723974527064,0.048000985771398656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814834251650044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181076176728933,0.0,0.059462155461865125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759699286813199,0.0,0.08614582261561549,0.14442619600984835,0.0,0.0,0.07607740784214076,0.0,0.0,0.08190519632789457,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cakememes,2019/02/26,"Is this normal, or is it just a select few people? Please, I need help and i dont know what to do. I'm sorry in advance for all of this stuff. I just really need opinions on my current state of mind.

Everything is dull. To me, at least. I find no enjoyment in anything, and have been beginning to do... things for just a smidge of a feeling. More on that later. I've been raised in the mentality of, if you can't talk about mental health to your parents, just kill yourself. My family life is semi-okay, with some lashing outs from my mother and stepfather because life is stressful, and I've been raised to be okay with that. But now, I'm not okay. At all.

I have a couple hobbies, some of them being singing, dancing on occasion, drawing, and physical sports like ice hockey and lacrosse. Besides the sports, everything is dull. I can't find a reason to get up in the morning. I've forgotten how to laugh for real, not just that fake laugh you do when you want everyone else to think you're okay.

Things I usually loved, like drawing, are now a thing I do for other people's pleasure. Looking happy is now my hobby. The eye crinkle? Got it. The slight snort? Nailed it. The over-showing of teeth? Mastered. But, again, no enjoyment. Gaming? Dull. School? Duller. Family? So monochrome gray that a mime would be jealous.

Now onto the... Things. I've been slicing my inner lip open with a switchblade my father (not stepfather) gave me when I was young. Cutting into my chest words I believe I'll never be is a thing too. Beautiful? Right breast. Smart? Sternum region. Loved? Collarbone. Scarves have become my new best friend. The mirror, my new friend. They give me a sense of reality I guess I haven't realised yet.

Pain is something I thought I'd never turn to. I've seen all of the people on YT who share their experiences. They are similar, yet different. That's the basis of the human mind, is it not? My individuality is slipping, my morals out the window, and my reasoning loosely slung on my back in a burlap sack. 

Please tell me how I can change. I don't want to be another shallowly dug grave with a few seconds of silence to spare. Please. I need help.",1.2752961596875672,3.9049934486873497,2.673215014102844,89.4657912779345,88.26014319809069,5.529372965936211,22.176654371881103,7.056908132695986,0.9279008114558476,1681,61,328,26,55,543,220,419,0.075,0.74,0.185,0.9931,3,0,2,0,0,0,86.0,0,4,4,3,20,28,3,1,24,3,37,11,5,4,5,58,59,16,2,8,13,3,1,2,2,1,4,0,1,1,20,15,0,0,8,6,0,2,13,10,0,1,9,6,41,18,48,44,10,42,1,4,4,3,25,20,0,6,21,219,61,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013761840009283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858643356018905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343180237155647,0.0,0.058214484423961724,0.10546965764514207,0.0,0.10759315544889793,0.10021889772449323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102385699626153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566633943147588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977472437195026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119225410326352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977603719019169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125210230546366,0.17165427010268525,0.09341503165579676,0.1800533810892604,0.0,0.04828648401122185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456625410724666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475625035154215,0.0,0.049893583485533854,0.09161005300940248,0.0,0.0,0.07637819899116496,0.0,0.10520143404922656,0.0,0.0,0.10165903006602657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150954213937048,0.0,0.0,0.1280201309733048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056540066711201,0.0,0.05248301399088082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349056365810555,0.09331066142218533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019397893237623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17238072515704342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247835093904894,0.0,0.19285081749481356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124309045510368,0.1473073583517734,0.18446446155738544,0.0,0.0,0.09356742633129876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161623855192267,0.0,0.10603884506238506,0.0,0.0,0.19861815017099888,0.0,0.0,0.31448324503895514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869723907209074,0.061178243479303486,0.1963749899603071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155447601837842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664872575637024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351876080776906,0.0,0.10690180683937862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939224173804997,0.0,0.10932196794928643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675739811501722,0.08346916014852916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172219946524828,0.0611910416268581,0.0,0.07581447128624648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038740263568024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517717574119773,0.0,0.11265398296183965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678387945153438,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MadRadIan,2019/02/26,"I think I had a panic attack I’m currently in my final semester of and English Education Masters program and last week I was on break so I went to Atlanta to visit my girlfriend. My program requires two student teaching placements and the school I’m in right now I find to be very toxic as does the other student teacher across the hall from me. I’ve always been a melancholy person and an anxious one although I’ve never been diagnosed with anything and I do struggle with suicide ideation.

So last week, in Atlanta Saturday to Monday I felt good, but when Tuesday rolled around I started to feel anxious, soon I found that had no appetite, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t focus. I began disassociating and didn’t eat or really do anything without substantial prodding my girlfriend for 3 days. She got me to walk around the mall a couple of times and play Pokémon Go and that did make me feel a little better but the feeling always returned. On top of this, I couldn’t stop crying at random times.

When I got home I decided to speak to my friends stepdad who is a pastor and he pointed out to me that I’m finishing a program I don’t like, don’t really want to be employed in(this is back up, I’m a writer), he also said he’s observed that I can be manic, and that I have just enough type A personality in me to feel like I’m failing when I’m not doing great instead of just okay. While I do feel a little better now, I feel a bit as if I’m waking around in a fog. However,  I feel very fragile as if I could fall apart at any moment. He also pointed that I bring guilt to a lot of things in my life like when I’m relaxing my brain is always saying that “You should be working,” or while my girlfriend pays the majority of bills and she chooses to because she helps me have time to write I feel guilty about this and like I should be working more to help out. He said that while therapy might help, as I’m trying to make it through the last 10 weeks of this program I’d probably feel guilty sitting in therapy “wasting time”, and medication would take too long to work. He suggested more physical activities, less isolation, and meeting with him every once and a while just to talk. 

I know this is a long post but I’m just interested to see if people have any ideas of how to cope or proceed so I can survive the rest of this program.",4.224823932286622,5.273192923240941,5.350595076565226,82.01481424048589,70.727078891258,7.7317568004135175,30.630031659882412,8.00094639256281,2.1108402274342573,1847,77,360,24,33,612,227,469,0.108,0.775,0.117,0.7654,3,1,0,0,0,1,33.0,0,1,0,10,24,18,1,3,23,1,35,7,3,3,1,74,72,44,1,11,15,0,11,4,4,4,3,4,1,2,17,24,1,2,17,3,2,6,10,5,0,2,15,16,44,13,59,44,8,73,1,1,1,0,30,26,0,9,42,239,61,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278060537391756,0.19947153260950332,0.0,0.0,0.10868142861633837,0.0,0.0,0.1805483648977475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151624354298605,0.2134072821421598,0.0,0.09090777947820826,0.0,0.061444923550967735,0.0,0.048711653935582286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134565405813065,0.08723969753854104,0.0,0.0,0.08920463200583212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380066296022116,0.08841755123244187,0.08777604861058277,0.05153455593884571,0.0,0.0,0.08110573518466742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699287166600282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817666367853042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256713635463861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732659819558194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36363854631292736,0.057086852305831826,0.07672496542152953,0.08753616857109361,0.07303518224927387,0.0,0.0,0.08761585875174435,0.06173732943130465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0454140042809137,0.06702369800504067,0.1278207110926251,0.08809971808274948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16068352348559253,0.0,0.08015502718987531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020729226409599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04391577869867405,0.1954089763231239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056441938360540685,0.1561575849266434,0.16017919166292816,0.0,0.14143352111507815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793559184082862,0.0,0.0,0.1066794696053549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049969452976079,0.0,0.0847705935023208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06163058157432416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510024858422273,0.054148261089652185,0.0,0.0,0.09375574243862812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05539869039003213,0.13954653849258838,0.0,0.0,0.15107926214115086,0.0,0.07653052765113487,0.0,0.08615518605855098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238322830611504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824166617663639,0.1520231078181919,0.06354667350902474,0.0,0.08087195702142942,0.06367695619373838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996649463855016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056559849643465485,0.0,0.0,0.06680732273093062,0.0,0.08353801262999384,0.0,0.08740724158276457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600814619018945,0.06422765486926531,0.0,0.0,0.18276532060781334,0.0,0.05308784635703652,0.051202323153418265,0.0,0.0,0.18638182166642606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05425281998324764,0.0,0.07805927220289491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186623347445808,0.04713227203506225,0.0,0.1922940230396224,0.0,0.0,0.0740762447019485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702921764079125,0.0,0.17452364259217884,0.0,0.0,0.05676490850236441,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gottagetonreddit,2019/02/27,"Struggling. A little too much to read the sidebar bc I'm drunk, hopefully this isn't against the rules or already part of the FAQ...BUT...anyway...how do I afford / find a decent therapist? I have no money or connections or whatever, but I need help. Title says it all (and probably a little too much). I've always struggled with my brain. I'm FINE, don't get me wrong. I'm not going to do anything bad, more likely I'll just continue to wallow forever and ever. I'm sick of it though, I'd absolutely love to find a nice therapist. I have had bad experiences in the past because I was forced into therapy as a younger person due to drug use and bad behavior as a minor. Now, as an adult (31) I never thought I'd say this, but I honestly finally believe that talking to a pro could help me. I don't know what made me come around, but here I am.

Problem is, no money, no connections, no idea where to start. I have insurance thank god, but I'm sure it wouldn't cover this. 

I'm a super critical and paranoid person so if this person isn't up to the task 110% I'm gonna hate it. I sound like a douche...

If it's relevant, my mother is bipolar manic depressive and has been hospitalized on / off throughout my life. I dunno if that makes it more likely for me or whatever. I don't feel like she did, I'm sure of that. I'm much, much better. Still feeling bad though...

Any help is appreciated!!",1.7935455037919823,3.6641648063380288,4.126338028169016,84.93399241603468,78.75352112676056,7.467822318526544,24.303358613217767,8.384062270229773,1.6180638136511378,1071,38,223,22,26,372,159,284,0.187,0.609,0.204,0.7753,1,0,1,0,0,0,57.0,0,0,0,2,12,24,1,2,15,0,21,7,1,3,5,43,47,22,0,8,13,1,2,4,0,2,4,3,0,4,14,9,1,0,7,2,2,2,12,10,0,0,6,5,21,14,23,38,8,20,0,1,0,1,13,9,0,9,13,135,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122282179002314,0.0,0.08462235019487248,0.0,0.0,0.06915932658462456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369023994413183,0.0905343510791746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33966021794039697,0.061995231860647385,0.0,0.0,0.11458080724541385,0.0,0.08994517623459049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353057014977708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760534110620953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119898573578681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759385724386723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793943807278165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199325846869626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948188331608894,0.0,0.0,0.10284491228024932,0.07265433133464946,0.0,0.11140711982258407,0.18590348270728446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313392890362968,0.0,0.05779831924489597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040746144727224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045016231197696,0.0,0.0,0.10101081228094284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148066540058237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055891530317685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183355054939093,0.19874146948753707,0.20385976094193986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178800714430653,0.09623077518094422,0.06788538181952214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990441114642474,0.0754090859707519,0.07843712717000967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013093325492927,0.09708393178833356,0.0,0.2664009321251768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964954593330904,0.09731293877581404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172728485787688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175146766211956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198361602106587,0.0,0.08121756246814185,0.0,0.0,0.2126373483036714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170164698296194,0.0,0.0,0.08174241754860964,0.0,0.09363147839757632,0.116302542735983,0.2361625277656055,0.0,0.0,0.1998390024782866,0.08073825221148255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783594258122394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111927262445021,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shibuyacrow,2019/02/27,"Take Off Your Shit Coloured Glasses Had a great therapy session today, and it got a lot more emotional than expected. 

Synopsis: I take what others say/think to heart, probably too much. And especially too much with negative/bullies (My boss, coworkers, mom, etc).

My therapist said as far as he can see I'm a normal person. I make mistakes, am not perfect, try really hard, and do a good amount of good. I try and improve, I struggle, I get back up again. So by all accounts we could pretend what my life and view on myself would be like if we hadn't had these bullies and abusers come into my life and wipe just little smears of shit over my glasses. I could see the reasonable, if not good, things I do if it weren't for their shit smearing my view. If it weren't for them, and whatever their reasons are for why they smear shit on others, I could see myself clearly. 

So my homework was to try taking off my 'glasses' some times. Try remembering the shit isn't mine or because of me, and I can separate myself from it.  ",4.435107142857142,5.500494125000002,5.203428571428573,83.20100000000002,70.25,8.514285714285714,30.285714285714285,8.841846274778883,2.3599714285714284,795,32,158,14,14,258,121,200,0.157,0.738,0.105,-0.8791,0,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,2,1,4,1,7,13,5,1,6,0,18,8,6,4,3,39,30,18,0,11,8,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,1,10,14,0,0,3,1,1,1,6,7,0,0,8,8,29,6,21,17,8,14,0,0,6,0,11,9,5,7,5,114,39,3,0.0,0.1235383616789158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017424873694616,0.0,0.06355968944741096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981607306770441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497441575061221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728540736845992,0.0,0.0,0.11628434102891065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447477037954655,0.0,0.0,0.262360549476579,0.08339118101736216,0.11495382047895712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340200832622476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235559134312364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472925587273223,0.050939183957501716,0.10450209401118472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864336911120564,0.0,0.0,0.06959847809209704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211527809857953,0.0,0.0,0.15329526388794465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215870876222953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104119788027963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241656621651623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679557836781402,0.2144059764613844,0.0,0.0,0.1181132450958934,0.0,0.09918100434993006,0.08291664329425008,0.0,0.0,0.24925991422808105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5351386256226741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900163946060913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23518555118745746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923745224244615,0.12106105964437555,0.06926981030755619,0.06680955163051869,0.0,0.0,0.06079844219325192,0.0,0.0988321376041078,0.0,0.0,0.2831595407818945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408400082862876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406769560097982,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,schackdaddy,2019/02/27,"Random bouts of depression throughout the day, not sure why? Hey guys! Thought I would come here for some advice before I take the next step. 

Bit of backstory, I am a male, 20years old. Over the past few months/year, I have noticed that nearly every day I seem to have an emotional blackout. I can be having an amazing day and in a great mood and suddenly I can feel nothing and get extremely agitated with seemingly no trigger. 

When I say emotional blackout, I tend to just space out, lose any feelings whatsoever, and kind of just blank out. Honestly, feels like I’m numb to the world around me and mentally drift.  I never really noticed it happening until my girlfriend brought it up to me recently, hence not knowing an exact timeline. Maybe it’s been happening for years and I’m just finally coming to realize what is happening to me? For a while back in high school my parents and teachers would bring up how my moods would shift on a whim. 

A few summers back I was hospitalized for viral encephalitis (swelling of the brain) leading to a fairly serious seizure and about four days I don’t remember/was incoherent for. 

I’m wondering if what I’m feeling now is just delayed effects from my brain being screwed up from then, or could my feeling be red flags for a possible onset mental health problems?

TLDR: my emotions switch off for no reason almost daily, need help figuring out why
",5.52018218623482,7.139489423076924,5.949149797570852,76.78321862348182,68.23076923076923,9.473684210526317,34.068825910931174,9.811843763644266,3.5645384615384614,1110,53,193,26,19,357,168,260,0.108,0.809,0.084,-0.7469,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,3,12,14,1,0,15,0,18,5,2,5,3,53,43,15,0,7,8,1,5,1,1,3,2,1,0,2,6,15,0,1,14,0,0,7,6,6,0,1,4,7,21,6,36,32,4,44,0,2,1,1,7,16,1,8,22,127,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882440429586152,0.0,0.0,0.10126845864078654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877279953016563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900283603794652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552756209838006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605534717727277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040926322509552,0.0,0.0,0.2257921101039712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423144091193532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074516979610867,0.0,0.0,0.2608854689954296,0.0,0.08710430077619774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34127753795825755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520754097000692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556752966027109,0.07224827092210187,0.0,0.11078447255290473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283696677219798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149769243018934,0.0,0.10013595613346042,0.26829040945065635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749791717474108,0.0,0.0,0.0677862255411074,0.10685084488342607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531275932168974,0.05557915612826222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940767903036369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314013460719448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016000541268684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20383326917944616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498762941067319,0.07799874708127141,0.0,0.10755435928617224,0.0,0.0,0.09703827702580392,0.2302774700372939,0.10612036066850901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229441827420468,0.0,0.09654133590079958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401042438707645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676906298286896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647873452271597,0.10397989174732092,0.09985502727778506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042372452560949,0.0,0.10235034556788697,0.0,0.18413240200586986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531511936737716,0.0,0.07603820427213456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028701128201397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18251066286069892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967265676999778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155224709032443,0.0,0.0,0.13025057309232252
mentalhealth,EvilSubie21,2019/02/27,How did you know it was getting bad? So scared I'm losing my mind. So much anxiety. I feel like i forget where I'm at sometimes. Uncontrollabe intrusive thoughts about how I'm going crazy is making it worse. Am I going skitzo or am i developing another disorder? Idk. One step away from committing myself.,1.9282758620689648,4.752740017241379,4.123706896551727,78.41073275862072,88.48275862068968,7.727586206896553,24.49137931034483,8.472884824447931,2.540820689655173,243,10,42,7,8,83,45,58,0.348,0.595,0.057,-0.9558,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,3,1,10,15,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,1,3,1,7,1,4,12,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27242572193033365,0.19874830942334995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440931336075793,0.0,0.2169243534563817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977563350851082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136402159752614,0.18560305879966424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573615707965886,0.0,0.29530365632079353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278073718929446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269264473625239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906527005849364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342028041592486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623266062258921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19098483457283566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17604899343689334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601077667999327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569514553044014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20625427689323894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26476108696530176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Auderox,2019/02/27,"My cat is preventing me from ending it. She’s a bit of a floofy tsundere, but she is the best pet ever. I love her. Shout out to you, Marley. :)",-1.4498387096774188,0.4867794193548427,1.5163709677419348,97.99455645161294,93.51612903225808,4.390322580645162,14.201612903225806,5.985473137389443,-0.8608129032258067,106,2,26,1,4,37,28,31,0.026,0.59,0.384,0.9555,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,4,3,2,3,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.483530502764246,0.0,0.5030215432866223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4080892645060813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4167763081932527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4158464151700587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Toutss,2019/02/27,"Starting school with anxiety Hey everyone! I'n starting school next week and I live with anxiety and just the thought of it already gave me a panic attack. I have no friends, no one to talk to, and school really makes me feel bad and it isn't helping my mental health. What can I do for it to get better? Or at least tolerable?",0.8037264957264973,3.3505219538461546,2.475897435897437,90.1752136752137,91.0,5.965811965811964,22.606837606837612,7.3871296695380915,1.2004017094017096,257,10,52,5,9,84,49,65,0.265,0.6559999999999999,0.079,-0.905,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,1,2,0,4,1,0,1,0,11,11,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,1,6,2,8,9,1,5,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,34,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20595168228625949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855440380304293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123194300804202,0.0,0.0,0.1558288873319044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505973903564772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833368712452885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943661188558197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441904606490132,0.0,0.09750686813818216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19837976847304686,0.0,0.0,0.1250946630588893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479837852036164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245774801556999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807990800971616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848392837950946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646583164157754,0.0,0.0,0.2189709826330974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956044250843653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5666408724149123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641964221469847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000673380778426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481639749691941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497039366487176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Toasty_my_roasty,2019/02/27,"I don't feel anything, I don't think I ever have. Ever since I was little, my emotions were very flat compared to others. I didn't really notice something was wrong untill I really started thinking about it. I once went over to my cousins house and saw a hole in her wall, she told me she had punched it because she was angry. I could never imagine doing that, the inconvenience of hurting myself seemed so much more previlant than releasing such a strong sense of emotion. Emotion that I would slowly learn from then on that I didn't really have. The more I noticed that I never found anyone attractive, I didn't really enjoy anything, nothing gave me satisfaction or emotional rewards, etc. I have impulsive thoughts and physical reactions, but nothing internal. I feel very flat and dull.

I just didn't really feel anything, and I omly became more and more apathetic as the years went on. I'm not angry, I'm not happy, I'm not suicidal because I don't get sad. My days are just my work and my room, and when I try to go out and interact with others I only feel more out of place and ""fake"".
In highschool I managed to bypass my apathy somewhat and thanks to a crisis was ablw to force myself to seek out outside help. Not too long after I was diagnosed with depression and was on meds for a year but nothing changed. I stopped going because it felt inconvenient and like a waste of time. I wasn't happy, so there was no point. I weened myself off the meds once I ran out and that was about 4 months ago...

I'm 19, and I've been out of highschool for 2 years now, My family is getting on me about going to school and doing something with my life but I don't know what to do. Sure I'm ""good at things"" but nothing appeals to me, nothing matters enough to pursue it, and I sense that the second I try too, I'll only drop it for convenience sake. I never thought about my future because I wasn't ever able to see it. I had always assumed I'd somehow be dead by now. And I sort of feel like I am.

My grandma says I'm getting comfortable, but I honestly believe even on the streets I wouldn't try to help myself. I just don't care enough. As it stands, I sleep alot and don't exercise or feed myself all that much. I know I'm depressed but it feels liks so much more than that. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, and I don't know if this is all life has in store for me. 
I guess I just want to hear thoughts from others. Thank you for your time.",4.307517575757572,4.919140976,5.328690909090909,83.84501212121214,70.24,8.220606060606062,28.551515151515154,8.296473431620573,1.8579133333333333,1928,67,395,27,33,636,223,500,0.14400000000000002,0.747,0.109,-0.9601,0,0,2,0,0,3,56.0,0,2,0,3,23,23,0,0,12,0,42,6,1,0,9,85,86,38,2,5,17,1,7,3,0,2,4,2,1,0,23,27,1,1,21,1,1,6,22,7,0,1,30,11,69,16,60,52,16,55,0,5,2,0,14,22,0,10,28,278,92,6,0.07018599661534211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221565121879032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058400371666926576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049075680739152035,0.0,0.1732712849398402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711389283753774,0.0,0.0,0.07907558362086363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155930120080946,0.0,0.07424747808799274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603780721082779,0.0,0.0,0.045264161474265735,0.0,0.12090219208049174,0.07123730916094999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315799197661521,0.0,0.1450417928063276,0.07827593905643028,0.046357188824534414,0.1904617564881471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616511121520821,0.0,0.21292889245173507,0.05014089000582564,0.06738956338478455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769553226179258,0.0,0.0,0.11000785923400347,0.0,0.11966495794027693,0.058868684008894084,0.0,0.0,0.07731778811102423,0.0,0.0,0.14942859700067124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910471914835067,0.0,0.09408838814790207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098521674181734,0.07513556099803312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571716465222495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914889011186036,0.10286799814388686,0.07034480713147033,0.0,0.1242247967601341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592163987863036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602179288489975,0.0,0.15478434964965154,0.0,0.16239530225758647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367267833960863,0.15981444467244074,0.0,0.14949159154441682,0.0,0.10675922625620617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332942813513872,0.0,0.0663484529204536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22481473323472315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950705222283337,0.0,0.0,0.055814721568150316,0.0,0.07103197562625299,0.05592915229081293,0.0638946953169256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058058581682287634,0.0,0.0702366841027138,0.0,0.0,0.10806521834408306,0.0,0.0,0.049678009649681214,0.0,0.0,0.05867863589131685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677208864897085,0.0,0.06614947119280845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923567179474515,0.0,0.0,0.04662845746992448,0.08994470528955803,0.0,0.1671595243820471,0.08185203809447893,0.0,0.0,0.06706572752076677,0.0,0.1429550537160016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582159535970556,0.04139751926019723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012624405166534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051096241447154335,0.0,0.0,0.049858118260919536,0.07673736931654276,0.0,0.13559244204597284
mentalhealth,Stinkydrinkyy,2019/02/27,Do I have minor anxiety or am I just a crybaby So today I literally questioned my entire existence for an hour over losing a fucking video game. This has happened before. Usually this only triggers with really small stuff that never really matters in the long run. Like screwing up a kickball pitch. The questioning usually just involves me calling myself a talentless hack and a waste of carbon. Is this an early sign of worse episodes or do I just need to grow tf up.,5.194285714285716,7.297964586206902,6.4824302134646965,70.72344827586207,69.80459770114942,9.569129720853859,33.118226600985224,9.957137785484203,3.9306433497536943,377,18,58,10,7,127,68,87,0.213,0.759,0.028,-0.911,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,2,0,9,0,6,2,0,1,1,14,9,4,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,9,9,0,14,0,1,0,2,5,5,2,4,8,44,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708768507250034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473271660976314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096792991275858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18983732441816875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158512175150315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20222258875750956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032076171367406,0.0,0.0,0.1817230789881508,0.0,0.22972753845016666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226005854187696,0.1583740396932335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617345177171912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4600648055246887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630973949859544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350698822525488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19464220970847715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4523150612987178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20926319508996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KHaR18,2019/02/27,"Something wreckless Back in 2017 i began writing a story about two boys. One of them gets attacked while hes in a lake and almost dies. The boy who got attacked ends up becoming something like a skin walker and his friend has to help hik survive.

Now this story isnt all that great at all and it wont ever be publishable but thats not the problem that i have.

Two years ago when i started writing the story i had two boys visualized in my mind.

Fast foward to August of 2018 and i found myself in a my old state in a new school and there are two boys that resemble the boys from my story so hard that its scary.

Im trying to convince myself that its not real but i dont know what to make of it. I dont know if me moving was traumatic enough for this to be a coping mechanism but its the only thing that makes sense.

Maybe my brain was so traumatized by the move that it wanted some kind of connection to somebody else and these boys just happemed to be the culprits.

I dont talk to them but everytime i encounter them (because they're always together) my body locks up for a minute and i can feel every cell in my body just wanting to jump out and just wrap my arms around them.

Is this a coping mechanism for the stress of having to move all the way across the country?",3.9147625106022055,4.720872393129773,4.633994910941475,87.76416454622564,71.25190839694656,7.501611535199323,25.62425784563189,7.594959193182576,1.1482690415606442,1005,29,213,11,18,323,147,262,0.101,0.856,0.043,-0.9527,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,4,1,12,9,2,1,18,0,18,5,5,2,4,39,30,17,1,4,10,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,21,10,0,0,4,1,0,5,7,4,0,5,6,3,26,5,33,20,5,33,0,0,0,0,19,12,0,3,15,151,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949352561462173,0.0,0.10724243237360506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911349691955801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533926436017448,0.0,0.2436771810147273,0.0,0.0823511796487912,0.0,0.0652854936162697,0.1182805057716507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23792181759154196,0.0,0.11955595761663032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115004393198086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765515615437717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946601551568141,0.0,0.0948563812466906,0.11066009502619024,0.0,0.0,0.09687560007837027,0.09023405779888917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05415159087742719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742661406622215,0.08274307482564848,0.0,0.05595389632613302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565545966782495,0.11807510354899114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959381059181198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178503362276206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568341516922975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152531223661112,0.11771570284504343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052322309910388186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297650088247166,0.0,0.10759358915992157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108137699225828,0.0,0.0,0.34148230467549395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343519784293016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238055516203484,0.0,0.07257187280841472,0.08145228967356584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247761081867347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190012464709185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838814138480872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489740094360614,0.0,0.0,0.07580398948717199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267954565478005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608071812754535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115065850622064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271200722038475,0.0,0.4184738316487497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633747353906433,0.08500881736600469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896712196452273
mentalhealth,Ardie_BlackWood,2019/02/27,"Extreme Identity Crisis Hello, before I start I want to bring up some prior info.

•) I've been semi aware of this issue since 2016
•) I suffer from mood swings, hallucinations, paranioa, anxiety, body issues and self esteem issues.
•)I've said borderline morbid things to online friends to the point they all worried about my sanity.
•) I'm empathetic, to the point it makes me look desperate.

Okay, I'm a teen who has some issues and needs help. Recently, I've been struggling with figuring out my identity as a big part feels not only male but like a whole nother individual. like I feel it my gut but I don't  have blackouts or anything to state it so. 

Ican't really pin it down but it's like I'm two different people and people have sort of been noticing-- stating a change emotions to fast, the fastest I've tracked is five minutes. This is worrying so I need some help and opinions.",2.88498731769182,5.713514873493978,3.953512999365888,82.279153455929,80.98795180722891,6.868230818008878,24.399492707672795,8.032893268588372,1.806522891566265,703,26,124,14,19,227,113,166,0.084,0.789,0.127,0.8047,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,1,7,1,9,2,2,1,1,25,22,11,0,3,5,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,9,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,4,4,11,5,15,18,6,14,0,1,1,0,9,6,0,6,8,70,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375988837551244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161549375507758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541482174501112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506591599542631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348313276036334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170900269348233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257036121140674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716158147020052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479074404741012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818256597461088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.566267991030753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19879224203386212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389867371784987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053696602609893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20114226867704746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442057947600446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315601707144137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687875791923016,0.0,0.1880635278104512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564365584928793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689082254611973,0.0,0.1339225341787067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901930426383304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149618308307468,0.0,0.0,0.11219811632558696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600267426441453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179444722304707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010941955010453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249502836112256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000063981864951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143088153800408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754864844183141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwthrownune,2019/02/27,"Hallucinating while eyes closed irregularly, hearing sounds before sleep. When I close my eyes I see weird patterns , color changes when it’s pitch black. This happens mostly when I wake up or feeling really depressed. And I hear sounds that aren’t there as I’m falling asleep or alone. I’m afraid this something caused by my past trauma that I’ve yet to deal with and I don’t know what to do...",3.5822556390977454,5.921853315789473,3.704812030075189,87.83868421052631,75.05263157894737,5.9218045112781965,24.01503759398497,6.868970318607317,0.7430774436090228,316,10,62,3,7,97,56,76,0.162,0.8170000000000001,0.021,-0.8479,1,1,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,3,5,5,1,0,11,11,9,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,10,7,0,6,11,1,10,0,1,5,0,3,3,0,3,6,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609923663128363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21443045325987786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588698116889244,0.2665788737336232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597973168952647,0.21704420827968754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741699740037118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22283966459117774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.568036719377602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138490681071034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24055916447443976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143540475115326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008085770790963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25217847966089635,0.0,0.0,0.1939992100593821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FlippantSandwhich,2019/02/27,"What do I tell people when they ask about my self harm scars? I have quite a few and some of them are pretty bad. I'm not embarrassed by them but I have no idea what to say to people when they ask. I understand it's coming from a caring place but it always makes me feel like they're calling me out and I don't know how to respond in a way that defuses the situation.

I have bad social anxiety most of the time and in situations like this I just lock up; having a prepared statement would help a lot.",2.6575471698113198,3.766018669811324,4.271839622641512,88.03530660377363,74.56603773584905,7.564150943396226,22.683962264150942,8.07648339933343,0.944550943396226,393,10,88,6,8,132,73,106,0.125,0.6940000000000001,0.181,0.7395,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,4,1,5,7,0,1,7,0,8,0,0,2,0,20,17,8,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,2,14,3,12,16,4,10,0,0,0,0,13,5,0,3,5,62,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797921965279015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604903766379212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325174902372294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969821440917753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815970924210933,0.0,0.1813222972447571,0.0,0.0,0.15319557994383026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992251946113586,0.12705072868501047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920408945274193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007625530560965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977375955946026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737697399072979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119534706142812,0.0,0.0,0.1187112601381436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24658721572321984,0.0,0.1858075769604815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092977391185625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891574064171156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141427506487431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18552852979066228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998048777055275,0.0,0.18128804842632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544219736762008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037014010226836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514033070116126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116311100195486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633422053691662,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cyberdecks-and-neon,2019/02/27,"The man in this YouTube channel seems unwell and I was looking for people who could leave comments in an effort to help. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJzBqNEmjrv-khAjpCHG1FA

He's not sure if he's God or Satan at the moment and he thinks a girl named Maria is secretly planning a marriage for them.
",10.250588235294117,11.396857980392161,7.0047058823529404,75.12117647058824,57.43137254901961,8.368627450980393,32.68627450980392,7.793537801064563,2.260145098039215,251,8,39,2,3,69,43,51,0.063,0.841,0.096,0.3895,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,11,6,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,6,4,0,4,1,0,1,0,12,3,0,3,1,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397881774305465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28525493338697344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4506240275141796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35737704600788844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950411354095888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874288297459153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011007812999469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726922144266313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlecChristine,2019/02/27,"Lamotrigine (Lamictal) and Bipolar, does it work? Back in the beginning of December my doctor had me start taking Lamictal to treat my bipolar. I’m still feeling unstable (anxiety, anger, irritability, obsessive thoughts). I don’t want to add in another medication if I don’t have to because I don’t want the unwanted side effects that Lamictal DOESN’T have (sexual side effects, weight gain, etc.), so my doctor has just had me increase the dose. I’m wondering if anyone here is on it and what they think about it. Should I give it more time before I look into a different mood stabilizer? ",6.857623497997327,8.03601057009346,8.016288384512679,64.81532710280375,64.79439252336448,12.469425901201605,38.650200267022704,12.031772070788634,5.462827503337783,469,25,76,17,7,160,74,107,0.112,0.7709999999999999,0.117,-0.3094,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,4,6,4,1,1,4,0,11,7,0,2,0,17,24,5,0,6,3,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,6,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,3,11,1,9,20,3,12,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,3,5,52,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502851713960872,0.1641696570963944,0.0,0.0,0.15005444718109429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501540442612367,0.0,0.1308191598249436,0.0,0.18261017823330306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22421302435741106,0.0,0.43930771691820814,0.1877993297702236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393375412380805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850903055749732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20586543511971203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18021131769457896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161885617448812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189613598355933,0.0,0.17138113635891544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135371583675304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750805720687267,0.0,0.17036972042917764,0.12513593435612042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25315519922281304,0.0,0.0,0.2613269674034617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327263099506545,0.15623254018904806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Haralyst,2019/02/27,"Randomly lost motivation, constantly exhausted, mind foggy, and have no idea why Hey gang, so I’m in a bit of conundrum here. For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been feeling some depression symptoms

For some background, I’ve had depression, anxiety, and some DPDR diagnosed in late high school. I got into a relationship, chased the girl to another college, and got to suffer through 4 years of abuse thanks to her. Decided to try to drink all the pain away, which was a terrible idea, but I turned out ok. I got some meds after, and after slowly getting that dosage dialed in, I was a damn happy boy. I even ended up somehow landing the intro to my dream job, and I work freelance on TV, movies, and mostly commercials

My job is pretty intense, like 12+ hour days of intense physical labor. Waking up anywhere between 3AM-8AM and doing odd things throughout the long day with lots of lifting and running and random things. I absolutely adore what I do and feel incredibly blessed to have as much work as I do. But I’d be lying if I said it was all daisies.  I work almost 24/7, leaving no time to see friends, have a drink, relax, take care of things, or really do much besides eat and sleep. I’ll forgo sleeping sometimes just to see people or hangout. It sucks the next day, but coffee usually gets me through!

But as of recent, I’ve been feeling particularly bad. I have no motivation to do even the simplest of tasks, from cleaning my place to picking up something that fell off a counter. I’m constantly tired, can’t think, can’t seem to keep any social interactions going because texting has become too difficult now too, I’ve had nightmares, and my mind is so foggy that I can’t remember if there was anything else I was supposed to add

My friends thing I’m burned out from too much work. All work and no play sort of thing. But even on my days off, I’ve still felt unmotivated and awful. I spent a lot of my off days entertaining others, but even when I wasn’t, I couldn’t bring myself to do any of the tasks I wanted. Just wanted to sit and play games, but even that barely brought me much joy, mostly just left me feeling like a failure. On top of that, I seem to always want to drink or to smoke. Hoping that that’ll help me derive more joy from being able to relax, or whatever it is I’m doing. I’ve never been good at relaxing. I forgot to take my pills for two days in a row, but that was a week ago and I’ve been doing my normal regiment since

I’ve had issues, sure. Arguments and such with people I care about, like with a friend of mine who has become a FWB and now doesn’t wanna talk much, or things going wrong, but nothing that should have made me fall to pieces as far as I know. Yet, doing anything has become a chore and I’m not even excited to work, more dreading having to wake up and be responsible

I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, or just needing to vent. But venting is nice at the very least. If there’s any other info that’ll help, I can provide that too. And on top of that, if anybody has any advice for me to get out of this funk so I can feel functioning and gung-ho again, that would make me one happy lad

TL;DR:
Used to suffer from anxiety/depression pretty bad, especially thanks to abusive people in my life. But I’ve been doing good until recently where I started randomly feeling awful and depressed and have no idea why or how to fix it",6.7933347484610485,5.891571942050523,7.233362767989813,77.45113521545322,65.09212481426448,10.009407769051158,32.75011674803651,9.159459690764724,2.6690513181914675,2659,91,524,39,35,874,313,673,0.146,0.66,0.194,0.9907,2,0,5,1,1,0,84.0,0,0,0,11,32,45,2,1,22,3,55,15,4,7,5,118,108,58,0,15,28,0,7,3,3,4,7,1,2,2,29,32,4,2,20,13,1,7,14,16,0,2,25,11,46,29,91,75,21,72,1,6,3,0,16,31,2,29,36,348,75,13,0.058341496657522675,0.1382502669340636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402127062924645,0.051716216662416326,0.0,0.05842058149077715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854479885891225,0.0,0.0,0.15869687336912808,0.061176146134215174,0.044631085255306235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602016146292652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481375659437348,0.0,0.09742542556617607,0.035564434856231564,0.19330079819889773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369380403485778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896608819854207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609286338076506,0.0,0.0,0.06455375637854754,0.0,0.2257526332350337,0.0,0.20099778232996715,0.05921539102852867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714573676538693,0.0,0.05969791605125339,0.0487368342400205,0.0,0.05167324936492606,0.0,0.0,0.2312040498632055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769952820552729,0.04167917686931643,0.056016985959645126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522348678578666,0.0,0.09144307214124403,0.0,0.06631363406157642,0.09786815880553873,0.13998307342250546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421121609531012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782101508471366,0.061640994389110415,0.0,0.05794627014567168,0.05745462220809772,0.0,0.0,0.19758134512488915,0.0,0.06089336491376045,0.11578986638395343,0.051856602859054295,0.0,0.0,0.06412592160205018,0.0,0.06581174940641135,0.061775221113209426,0.06338820682331374,0.0,0.04120832445224365,0.08550812497212226,0.0,0.0,0.05163038864207393,0.04899216351091762,0.0,0.06368663539509348,0.09919970829312408,0.0,0.05520413477572268,0.03894340204804243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480425063755595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781656066582305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21443856450960486,0.04325948052913315,0.04499655886146448,0.0,0.06204684356512436,0.0,0.05716227965174615,0.05598023952175911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039533708024938434,0.0,0.062079465824962425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133994370848007,0.0,0.06095444665252605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187085524947073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03737505667821033,0.0,0.11521037915740727,0.06263693371456258,0.06608954271789824,0.0,0.05549612338960835,0.0,0.0,0.05904470932126653,0.0929812386740199,0.1062238148072687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482606889194941,0.0,0.11676726037735638,0.05947180872442528,0.0,0.04491413443460048,0.05770123198249669,0.0,0.04129441161622989,0.0,0.046591594593481125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498617015646285,0.06063915358726385,0.08773108959522513,0.046892685076701135,0.0,0.1074260233899376,0.0,0.0,0.2325569880159585,0.0373828753317549,0.0,0.0,0.03401939587088945,0.06705496802695918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03961004659403798,0.06345879518088451,0.05699116488337561,0.0,0.0,0.05038832123391971,0.0642549161436975,0.048137844758267136,0.10323397891398972,0.0,0.09359605902767072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528825258820396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25483982646328873,0.0,0.0,0.04144412532619031,0.06378726799342095,0.0,0.037570011046340515
mentalhealth,IOvercookedMyPasta,2019/02/27,I told my professor I was having suicidal thoughts I have no clue what will happen now. I told her through email.Im worried she'll call on authorities on me or worse do nothing at all. If you have experienced something like this or have any advice at all please share it with me :),2.2502424242424226,4.811615872727277,3.2177272727272737,88.31992424242426,81.18181818181819,6.575757575757575,25.53030303030303,7.793537801064563,1.511848484848485,223,9,45,4,6,71,44,55,0.188,0.6559999999999999,0.156,-0.4588,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,7,12,3,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,10,2,6,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,3,2,33,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253030193637704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760860073593536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644035798892381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22897709237623104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27969634303292495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650351581998842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484569899617049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842350170748941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19934231692629115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28323499940245866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20556701713537426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.494850710161693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629630448596847,0.2638788766991168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,findawaytohappynes,2019/02/27,"I finally set myself on a path to change During the past 6 months of my life I went in to a very deep rabbit hole. My depression and anxiety got worst and I felt like the world was caving in on me. And to make matters even scarier, I changed so much that I eventually started manipulating the love of my life..... they became tired of me not listening to their warnings. As much as they told me to look back and see all the damage I was causing I didn’t. Eventually my path of self destruction resulted in me trusting the wrong people and they took advantage of me. They lied and blamed me for raping somebody who I stupidly cheated on my fiancée with. I was labeled as a monster even tho I am innocent and I couldn’t take it anymore and attempted to commit suicide in anyway possible...... my fiancée eventually came back and told me that she knew I was Innocent but the reason she left was because of all the manipulation, pain and suffering. I can’t bear to know that I am going to lose her. I most likely lost my chance but I’m gonna prove to her that I love her and that I can change. She doesn’t tell if I have a possible chance but tells me that she hopes that’s how it’ll go. I started a blog on my journey and even tho it’s intended to be a visual reminder that I need to change, I want people that go through depression, anxiety and many other mental illnesses like myself can see my path to a better life. It’s not much but this is a link to my blog. I also have audio recordings of each post for those of which have visual disabilities. I want anyone to be able to experience this journey with me and also interact with me.  I would love to hear other people’s stories and maybe help them set off in their own journey.[Future Hopes Blog](futurehopesblog.blogspot.com)",4.789594017094019,5.779296680911684,5.779846866096867,79.67267628205131,69.37037037037037,8.926923076923078,29.15491452991453,9.188382445141503,2.372009401709401,1409,51,276,27,24,466,169,351,0.163,0.7020000000000001,0.136,-0.8449,0,0,0,0,0,3,36.0,0,0,7,5,12,24,4,0,15,0,21,10,0,8,4,52,53,29,1,8,7,0,1,3,0,3,6,3,0,1,20,20,0,0,6,2,0,8,6,13,0,0,15,7,60,11,43,32,9,31,0,6,3,4,27,13,0,4,10,201,80,0,0.09398514848586158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503197785764892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437967626860404,0.0,0.09320801273521452,0.0657166010848624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453755565726545,0.0,0.05729247417837165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831222262136653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074939719385828,0.0,0.09654863689564083,0.3976953004483165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189854134617085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18622891253959656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919355095552229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024048138588198,0.1029561362084968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602417773193358,0.0,0.07516850895085285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592809297609876,0.0,0.06299626390816943,0.0,0.0,0.186696917832346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051651779683854634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211513882672166,0.0,0.1991534695398472,0.13774918853090953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892385396361756,0.1051453406857472,0.10259589189680124,0.0,0.2544757978010307,0.0,0.06273581642095108,0.09528618901230368,0.09442071411660337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471492413090886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501804885079527,0.0,0.20726969462067968,0.06968879672077405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000682443462383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971945887097472,0.19547240437886693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190826677951446,0.09001179235482655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663238584784176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978799009007407,0.0,0.09804700727000434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304634367439466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280449803666412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066513506532128,0.0,0.16429432467949806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802210241063198,0.0,0.179613674046591,0.10442095812988267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754759042184642,0.11086975129638504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712517424330385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676435291871118,0.10275800583350476,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-meowmix,2019/02/27,"Advice on how to treat my spouse while going through depression? So I’ve dealt with depression on and off for years. This past year though it’s stayed pretty steady or has only seemed to get worse lately. I’ve noticed that sometimes I just get in these darker moods and I either become snappy, over emotional or blank. Unfortunately my partner is the one who sees all those sides and he tends to get the crappy end of the stick when I become snappy. I find myself getting irritated towards him for some of the stupidest things and it shows on my face a lot. I’ll give dirty looks without even realizing how bad I’m reacting to menial things. The dirty looks SHOULD NOT be directed at him and I’m feeling terrible about the way I can be sometimes when I get in that headspace. I’m trying to figure out counselling to talk through a lot of traumas I have went through in my life. It’s hard to work myself up to actually making the appointment though. And I feel awful because my partner is so good to me and when I’m in good moods or doing better I am good to him but I know I can be better and treat him better so he’s not randomly dealing with all of my terrible moods. Is there anything people have done when they feel themselves getting irritated or mad about silly things? I want to learn how to calm myself enough when I feel those moods coming on so I’m not overreacting to everything. When I’m not dealing with depression I am usually a kind, caring person. I’m just not sure who I am right now and I don’t like it. I want to change I just don’t know where to start. ",4.130514584479911,5.379024208860762,4.966362135388003,83.92712438084756,71.15189873417722,7.900715465052284,26.39735828288387,8.321376580360154,1.630030709961475,1254,40,251,19,23,407,157,316,0.14400000000000002,0.72,0.136,-0.4198,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,4,24,26,1,0,10,1,19,2,1,5,3,55,52,30,0,3,15,1,5,1,2,1,1,0,0,3,15,14,0,0,11,1,0,3,8,8,0,1,2,8,33,14,44,46,7,37,0,3,3,0,17,17,0,9,16,171,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.09771060016108347,0.0,0.0,0.09784403871894462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239691019166805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360279672994195,0.06103717178184024,0.22116728079476525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656655523985613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208729016701418,0.0,0.10592227303153434,0.08625150827931077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645538746283199,0.2587206056578211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246582913331882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263065662041875,0.08868379353595211,0.1034591125129379,0.0,0.06613367804664612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998869675663941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025111412389938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151528648487574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138768561967658,0.09605201519532512,0.05690511729002375,0.2519481461662845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969512715592533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426802745829268,0.1100555908821742,0.0,0.112948879126606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072345135248748,0.048917541112489527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681648035329834,0.0,0.0,0.17025069174506868,0.0,0.0,0.06683629671565385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399652674341056,0.0,0.0,0.06784940454265295,0.07615194618963071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558361899735776,0.0694162301755758,0.08742801109563146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018662933894966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550886624811871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978914694380441,0.09115287868236144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19805853925567765,0.0,0.07087119774681881,0.1067232520254783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436956687299784,0.0,0.0,0.080479188996218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19956201868494272,0.0,0.1967507364178668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798041999037609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027697671409517,0.0,0.1181163172359908,0.07947704001500945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281976914201476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651993331163272,0.0,0.07289446290736636,0.0,0.10203910710287943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895845118029842
mentalhealth,MyCatCanFetchChris,2019/02/27,"Working on a Mental Health App for my Wife So TLDR I'm working on Mental health app for my wife and I'd like some feedback from the community.

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**Long Version:** So about 3 years ago my wife was diagnosed Bipolar 2 and I won't go into specifics but I almost lost her. It was really bad for a while there. At the worst of it she had a manic episode and didn't sleep for so long that she had to be hospitalized. Through all of this I had no idea what was going on or how to help. 

​

I'm an app designer and I've been doing that for a while and so after everything calmed down I decided I wanted to do something about all this the only way that I know how. So I've hitched up with a couple of startup guys (I don't know nearly enough coding.) And I've been working on something for about 4 months it's still in it's infancy but I wanted to get some feedback on it and in general what people thought about this kind of thing.

​

I won't post the app or anything like that because I feel like that comes off scammy but I really just want to get a wider audience and some feedback because while I live with someone who deals with some serious mental health issues every day I don't myself and I want to make sure I'm not doing anything stupid. So if you're willing to talk/want to help please hit me up.

​

To be fair this is also kind of my celebratory post of the fact that she's now doing a lot better and we're now close to a year without a real episode. Mostly due to her own hard work but I like to think I helped. ",1.4112962962962958,3.471618262345679,3.0359104938271635,91.33034722222229,80.88271604938272,5.654938271604937,22.162037037037038,6.770275591412753,0.5112333333333332,1223,39,262,13,32,403,158,324,0.06,0.8079999999999999,0.133,0.9694,0,0,2,0,1,0,36.0,0,0,0,6,18,14,1,0,15,0,21,6,1,3,4,53,41,29,0,5,10,3,2,4,0,3,5,0,0,1,19,16,0,0,7,0,0,3,8,5,0,0,11,2,27,9,49,24,12,37,0,1,0,0,14,15,0,10,20,178,46,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898262224575709,0.0,0.07792536199355182,0.0,0.0,0.06223252451535389,0.0,0.3372712005756857,0.3782386551900547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807824998898873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497634361803334,0.09487654485963827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882535391682365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703493015471082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610620958362109,0.0,0.050187380363016884,0.08022887225239661,0.0,0.07898553324424355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040873162141278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556659954922978,0.0,0.0699394842146983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03934806613626215,0.05559453299258062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813153437432988,0.0,0.08845365464518813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705390933172128,0.0,0.0,0.06971132104315482,0.0,0.0,0.2481566587018458,0.0,0.0,0.15648306198293047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784916462166416,0.0,0.08122372942589326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207484547172196,0.08553553433559655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152075436927867,0.0,0.06871637379805245,0.13773627793953191,0.0,0.0,0.08494958438743865,0.06615967336457272,0.0,0.0,0.05194536966964662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23527238639248135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211508037614046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059185520297639765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05395050166953715,0.0,0.0,0.0854228519493732,0.0,0.0,0.1490598543302755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857605268678782,0.09970680697996297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787607382286409,0.0,0.06593652606214183,0.1198190807120203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062147051294362786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334430956935692,0.0,0.0,0.0625486663467812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170006589240185,0.04986383254413011,0.0,0.06178028678923246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295008874049333,0.061769793161834875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501558079575821,0.0,0.2266151781989225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782386551900547,0.100226893884992
mentalhealth,Nvxk,2019/02/27,"Anxiety I don’t know if I have anxiety (haven’t gone to the doctor yet) but, I have erythrophobia. I’m afraid of blushing (which occurs every time someone mentions anything negative about me, a teacher is talking to me, I get embarrassed, or anything else which involves attention. I turn completely red around 10 times a day, not just my face but my whole entire body. I can’t breathe straight, think straight, and I try to escape the situation as fast as possible which makes me not want to be exposed to people that might put me on that spot.",6.9536245954692575,7.193873699029126,6.9147087378640775,76.06326051779938,64.4368932038835,10.361812297734627,37.555016181229774,10.125756701596842,3.8223540453074447,433,21,79,9,6,138,73,103,0.136,0.7979999999999999,0.066,-0.7213,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,4,0,8,4,3,1,0,15,16,7,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,2,0,0,1,1,13,0,11,13,1,11,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,3,5,52,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150037225959885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3388524851240725,0.18328176542899624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286924021015889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21586705336829315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277912962846866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21073255655447728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199093552542333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734674326070312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756668797592052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314929887988068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743018509982494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184120037181208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273509800442136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321049919258408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069718162317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314239537300171,0.0,0.0,0.17444613522222396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548298430549627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192312962459848,0.0,0.0,0.2401070078958636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978275520243014,0.22394432713305346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214366155721638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298638334489624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smellymells80,2019/02/27,"Does anyone else feel like they are in a loop? Im so tired, I feel like I'm repeating the same day over and over, the same routine, same feelings, same everything. Im so tired of it, I don't feel alive or happy anymore, I constantly feel drained and like if I'm waiting and waiting for me to feel happy again. I do work and currently go to school. I used to love school and get excited about it and I wouldn't mind working every weekend but now I'm no longer motivated to go to school let alone be excited like I once used to. I still maintain my grades because I know the importance of having a good GPA. As for work, I find myself getting more and more frustrated and I began to hate my job. The days feel long and I can't seem to get out of there fast enough. I tried going to the gym but I have no energy. But I also hate being home as I feel like the days are dragging and theres not much I can do other than be on my phone and watch videos or clean around the house. I just feel so dead. Im in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and I visit him about once a month. Being with him only seems to bring me joy anymore and it kills me that we aren't together. We have plans to live together soon when money issues are better but somedays I feel like just quitting my job and school and leave my life here to start its him. That idea is what only really seems to make me happy or bring hope. I don't know if I'm in just this weird funk or something but its exhausting.",2.0815384615384644,3.5945738205128213,3.423974358974359,91.88769230769232,76.8205128205128,6.723076923076923,21.93589743589744,7.468242284971852,0.6044128205128203,1160,31,262,15,26,379,154,312,0.145,0.6779999999999999,0.177,0.8512,3,1,1,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,1,7,18,22,4,0,11,0,20,5,0,4,0,66,58,33,2,4,15,0,10,6,0,1,4,0,2,0,10,21,0,2,18,3,1,6,8,6,0,0,1,11,38,16,33,51,8,32,0,0,1,1,10,8,0,10,24,164,48,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081213619116913,0.0,0.06270792817351463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553193127733989,0.054829137451664685,0.08034476919049324,0.0,0.06980539720800158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047800660560874265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693511211949644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473805623480256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171230803489885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862092699508755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550512836029547,0.0,0.0,0.0810229860720972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606747271035589,0.0,0.07047376250253055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3964865195900366,0.22407691212197065,0.0,0.0,0.07166929622869925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290478591145827,0.0,0.13369404821766895,0.0657702372847012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504206042817934,0.0,0.15483587490110598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786559875798452,0.07788314368551373,0.0,0.09047963295489243,0.0,0.08852025766429332,0.2541028651876037,0.081844209767953,0.1556282876919816,0.0,0.08675386134148746,0.0,0.08618895320687893,0.0,0.0,0.08302947558262898,0.0,0.0801839866440092,0.055386375107235264,0.2298557462539323,0.0,0.06924130856059893,0.13878846617878196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707720132884794,0.0,0.05234218819754305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917614110280002,0.0,0.06258958686077583,0.0,0.05764357046426517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701744931920778,0.0,0.11927529486035285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340331451390685,0.0,0.0,0.05023424117213356,0.0,0.0,0.08418766723462125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174380382638716,0.0,0.21415644037123235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036719838717275,0.0,0.0,0.05550208124233877,0.0,0.06262180200967328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18025152254122373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323819708357511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544964508906618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712597443401992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maymegod,2019/02/27,"If someone wants to listen, feel free. Typical angsty 17/M. Hope I'm not wasting anyone's time that could be spent on someone with a worse situation, but I just wanted to get this out. I have a history of mental problems going back to practically the third grade, just for some background.

​

I feel like every day my mental health goes farther down the gutter and I'm verging on a total breakdown.

First, I hate having to exist. It's unlikely I'll actually commit, first of all, but I think about suicide maybe 5-6 times every day. Not the act of killing myself, or some mental soap opera episode of my whole family weeping all over me and fantasizing that they care, but literally the idea of nothing. Just going to sleep and never waking up. Phasing out of existence, kind of. Sleeping forever. Never being born in the first place. All the same thing. I'm practically infatuated with the idea.

Similarly, I also wish that I could abandon my life track. Like, go live in Tibet as a monk away from society, go live in the rocky mountains or Siberian woods hunting as one of those mountain people, etc. I'm on the path to go to college, get a job, and probably live out the rest of my life overworked and underpaid and suicidal just like I am now. I try my ass off and do well in school, but sometimes I wonder why I work so hard in the first place. Feels like it's all for nothing.

I'm also really, really badly social traumatized. Last year, an often dramatic girl at my school falsely accused me of ""raping"" her. When I went to the school office about it, and they brought her in, she denied ever saying anything, and said I didn't rape her. Turns out that this was all orchestrated by another girl I thought was my ""friend"" who would help me with going to the school so that she could have leverage to manipulate me into doing things for her. I won't go into that. Needless to say I cut these people off. Anyways, because of this incident, I'm terrified of being direct with girls about how I feel. Before this incident, I had maybe 4-5 girlfriends, and more meaningless sex in-between that. Now, I flirt like hell, and it's often reciprocated, but for the life of me I can't work up the ability to actually be honest with anyone because I'm subconsciously terrified something like this would happen again. I ignore people out of paranoia in the hallways, I'm nice but really abrasive, and I find my voice faltering(really unusual for me) when I say hi afterwards.

​

I know all teenagers go through stupid shit, and maybe it's just my hormones, but I've had on and off suicidal thoughts since I was 9 so I feel like there's something much worse under the surface.

Anyways, please help me. Tell me what I need to do. I can't imagine doing it today, but I'm scared that one of these days I might snap and really end it all for good.

​",5.155789473684212,6.2970296152450125,5.955381125226861,78.19154718693288,68.63702359346642,8.703811252268602,30.107985480943732,8.99025400887824,2.5037194192377497,2262,86,417,40,38,742,270,551,0.18,0.703,0.116,-0.9946,1,0,2,0,0,2,89.0,0,0,2,6,27,31,8,1,23,0,27,12,5,2,12,92,70,36,4,12,18,0,6,7,2,4,4,6,0,3,27,27,0,2,14,1,3,11,8,14,1,7,12,12,55,18,75,47,16,68,2,2,0,4,24,33,3,10,31,284,82,10,0.0,0.0,0.11752122158406715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963069373814194,0.0,0.19572697303793848,0.21950141885795796,0.0,0.06314009417578703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420667786413895,0.0,0.0495513563754275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05657345178142461,0.0463011902151805,0.05027654514121186,0.0734123317021173,0.0,0.05123805639244703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139263820330626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422900025868593,0.0,0.0,0.11650000387095158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053332124323627335,0.0,0.06715502144200809,0.0,0.05446741146353716,0.10146653130779497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056764818358383436,0.0,0.15223115930842604,0.12905163134619632,0.0,0.0,0.05503491045796483,0.20487349943126645,0.0,0.0,0.04652152965907755,0.0,0.06291912291058001,0.0,0.2737700469461145,0.050505018330474064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05324743350217573,0.0,0.05394031403002741,0.05944929669513563,0.0,0.06400513765778686,0.0,0.0,0.08072094438830353,0.0,0.0,0.05980652893868733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594955470818573,0.0,0.0,0.05975354390618975,0.0,0.06661836019117436,0.06270407682922033,0.033092283389179265,0.04908280814544288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759372653351092,0.20592414872418252,0.0,0.15951137029997473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18148050552062625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18204598929847032,0.0638780089155613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04426454431553161,0.04464824686100068,0.09288218181858374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115554765010283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160573051909205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523534019664534,0.0,0.12582255487718472,0.06609737687566282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492135439654899,0.05761709026571653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15429965747173668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727772471190696,0.1436548268422568,0.06028516241135719,0.24376092596271975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180926092052703,0.04981000987999406,0.06768355735025929,0.12051585924847028,0.06138104213734445,0.10203900510332543,0.09271204079455908,0.0595536242744153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19759448388038933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052630077654683805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000760128711111,0.03858298402501994,0.0,0.09560708419837284,0.07022305244200379,0.0,0.05707625172260505,0.0,0.0,0.04088165453848517,0.0654960234862207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103207772596144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414001614643479,0.0558193923624331,0.05433416947708922,0.06722727575617997,0.0692436383208812,0.0,0.0652999953705924,0.08767366399822933,0.0,0.12272732432620935,0.08554922601328216,0.0,0.21950141885795796,0.03877612738872032
mentalhealth,0fthesun,2019/02/27,"public harassment it seems that everywhere i go people are call me nuts, it used to get to me and make me angry but now I'm mostly calm around that kind of behavior.it seems people are purposefully trying to get a reaction from me. Ive tried telling people off and nothing seems to work. this sounds crazy but i hear people yelling at me specifically women saying the same kinds of things. this has been going on for about 8 months. Listen, i can tell you that im not a perfect human being, but at most i just have mild anxiety and social anxiety. I've been learning to live comfortably with it but it happens at my home at my college. i feel like no human being should have to live through this. its made me grow cold as a human being. I no longer want to partake in social occasions or get involved with people in general. It used to make me depressed, but ive learned to be happy on my own. I mean did i do something to these people ? like shit. I feel like theyre treating me as if i did something heinous. idk, its gotten to the point where my family does it too. i feel hopeless, but like i said I've learned to be happy while it happens. I just ignore and ignore but it adds unnecessary stress to my life. I feel as if these people are testing me, and with that in mind i just ignore the hell out of them. I will stress this again , no person should have to go through this, ive tried being an asshole, passive, freakingout, telling people to stop but it doesnt end. It seems that the calmer i become around them the more intense the behavior of others becomes. At first i thought it was all in my head, but ive had people come upto me say something and then proceed to call me nuts. idk i just want my life to go back to what it used to be, im not trying to start problems with anyone. Im not afraid to stand up to people though, so if anyone has any tips, they're gladly welcome.",2.935643897919653,4.510146258485643,3.924470647688032,88.93139223448162,74.66579634464752,6.404076476038068,24.10418596816305,6.968188349444268,0.8093452202476209,1479,45,306,14,31,477,181,383,0.174,0.716,0.109,-0.9798,0,0,3,0,1,1,39.0,0,1,2,3,14,26,3,3,10,0,31,4,2,6,2,70,65,26,0,8,20,0,4,4,0,3,2,7,1,5,29,15,0,4,13,0,0,6,7,12,0,1,10,12,44,14,54,45,6,36,1,2,0,0,23,18,2,10,15,209,73,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980615007714926,0.0,0.11205778579702028,0.0,0.0,0.10242312372155556,0.0,0.0,0.13039940380186305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056317535071459174,0.0,0.0,0.16177707618697473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957377452512713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309033043224811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308206015259774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640933819331157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486947242765594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904476178400995,0.0,0.14813068283519507,0.10464626273596396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229845515747689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479564223017327,0.0,0.16649738536686476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953292085095408,0.15593205685202147,0.0,0.0,0.0751660316187449,0.0,0.08254752979744831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346633853609005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373373940275391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152537722228803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346406698624086,0.14312671832825635,0.0,0.1293456625976761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930206911193475,0.0977773984195903,0.0,0.0,0.07978053355319327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395217281246154,0.0,0.058459984021941386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027637411583404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077584133318376,0.06395090612439455,0.0,0.0,0.06923608292186112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008140582725343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966862526178863,0.11648780101583192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667021296507703,0.0,0.0,0.07518046951828627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493192281765249,0.0,0.16915268003031553,0.0,0.0,0.05184010544484041,0.0,0.0,0.06123245865557304,0.16779382261259854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920466556274068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04865783007445133,0.0,0.07195856177490696,0.058144891010344674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19890236104518608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18976920486705115,0.0,0.0,0.08639845995187563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05332006179664857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vwps,2019/02/27,"Advice on focusing? Basically, I have all of the energy in the world currently. I start tasks then immediately move to something else, then come back to it, then do something else, then zone out on something like switching between social media for an ungodly amount of time, even though there is nothing new or interesting. I usually won't realize that I'm zoning out on something until a significant time has passed. I would much rather have things done, and I definitely have the energy to do it, but I just cant focus on doing one thing for very long. What are some tips for completing tasks? Anyone else experience this? What is wrong with me lol? I have never been diagnosed with ADHD but I have been diagnosed with major depression  (but I haven't had a major depressive episode in a little while.)  I start a new job soon, and I am worried that this could carry over and affect my performance at work

​",5.389167420814482,7.254585952941178,6.099411764705881,74.62427601809956,68.88235294117646,9.70135746606335,28.95927601809955,10.035473477838034,3.09116742081448,732,27,127,19,13,239,110,170,0.081,0.828,0.092,-0.614,2,0,4,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,8,1,22,2,0,1,2,22,26,14,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,10,9,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,4,0,13,2,23,19,6,33,0,2,0,0,1,12,0,2,19,100,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563256595933182,0.12710842447569834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409369176797668,0.1580561581268598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909519222773992,0.13327788001865518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000201494849754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204865896355448,0.13638184931232178,0.0,0.0,0.10385482604154612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22406794183293635,0.2640481031937585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311255620942086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32598455603914106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591374325255308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723894999989302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908001643108172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354839458226333,0.13036997825556146,0.0,0.11511286129587625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382498356663114,0.09562057300790988,0.0,0.10032236392639776,0.25125575600445543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481109898380455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881426301075313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259574930123275,0.0,0.4005543760855041,0.0,0.0,0.1841364359903432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17283297045887758,0.0,0.12779867045526125,0.0,0.1516963207619155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325995686191872,0.10732603787191332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469662592089607,0.13209814151786778,0.0,0.09240201314918907,0.14221730895486445,0.1580561581268598,0.0
mentalhealth,Manus_Byrne,2019/02/27,"Do I have a mental illness? Recently (For the last four mouths) I have been having many strange episodes,that ever I day, 

​

Almost every day, I have been uncontrollable moving my head backwards. This happens so fast that it usually hurts my neck. I  then uncontrollable push my face repeatedly, I do it so hard that once I have had a bleeding nose. I then get extremely emotionally, and sometimes start crying very heavily, although I when those episodes happen, I am always alright or even in a happy mood.

​

I have no idea why this happens and I don't know any illness or disabilities this could be linked to.

​

I have been diagnosed with autism ADHD, and anxiety, and have had many episodes of depersonalization. Also for all my life I have had the feeling of people being able to read my mind. Because I have had that all my life I just thought it was nature. But my friends say otherwise

​

Could it have anything to do with any of those",5.978637730984104,7.67209622346369,5.864916201117321,77.53856037816935,67.2122905027933,8.412720240653202,33.32230339492909,8.841846274778883,2.902355049419855,780,35,135,13,13,244,103,179,0.135,0.807,0.058,-0.8972,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,5,1,28,11,5,0,3,22,36,14,0,2,4,0,2,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,12,6,0,0,5,1,0,2,2,3,0,1,9,4,23,3,11,23,2,16,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,3,12,100,35,1,0.09251921697795484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119011959882548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264463143021837,0.0,0.0,0.07398758439099806,0.07698340008560195,0.400978131765974,0.44968390144461184,0.12583248032828956,0.0,0.07077694775190252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613543242467771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056398855937436036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773813279938725,0.0,0.10162801548254316,0.11933448205385615,0.0,0.0,0.09390505771840646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407166635403874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110807024442245,0.0836889285816946,0.07795143062503522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046780495995482334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148011753332717,0.0,0.04833747228112206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454433140725976,0.09848842686088206,0.08287904578603206,0.0,0.094951408414126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904373530286023,0.10444293449031547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05084614206453002,0.07541551021242951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306981181396721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18759992910066894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323760996170924,0.0,0.09341803488368476,0.0,0.0,0.09833328579738916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852994658092797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414117579669687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254425399201988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135156516422856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357499479032886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915038713014498,0.0,0.06548557797079288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344992378367451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189684648469684,0.0763380434030562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348420287896152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44968390144461184,0.0
mentalhealth,VincentVanGopherx,2019/02/27,"What is wrong with my friend? My buddy ive known since I was a kid got super religious a year or two ago and it got to the point where its all he talks about although thats annoying I didn't think anything was wrong. A little while ago he started talking about increasingly crazy things like how lizards run the world and you can only kill them with swords and other crazy conspiracy's.

He then left home without telling anyone to wonder around and hunt lizards with his newly purchased sword mind you its the middle of winter and I live in New York so it was freezing out. So he left home for 3 days well everyone was freaking out looking for him until he finally got stopped because people were calling the police on him because he was walking around with a sword going in churches and shit and probably questioning people. So the police finally got him and brought him to the psych ward where he was for less then a week then he escaped from the facility and was missing for another 36 hours until he was recaptured and was held there for a month until he was released .

Well he was there they told him he was schizophrenic and gave him shots of anti psychotics without his consent. I dont think he is schizo because he dosent see shit or hear voices that aren't there he just believes all this crazy shit because of youtube videos and alex jones. Whats wrong with him or is he actually just schizophrenic? ",6.782513837638379,7.099986612546124,6.168392527675277,81.00579912361624,64.79335793357933,8.989022140221403,33.17366236162361,8.660442795831766,2.563665867158672,1136,44,213,15,16,348,149,271,0.16699999999999998,0.7859999999999999,0.047,-0.9851,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,2,1,17,15,5,0,13,0,21,5,3,1,2,39,38,27,1,0,7,0,1,1,1,0,2,2,2,1,11,21,0,2,5,1,1,5,5,10,2,1,22,5,20,5,31,16,4,40,1,1,2,0,39,15,3,5,21,132,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.09806200480003127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815348362072414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537065790643348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026369822918334,0.0,0.08269324095238986,0.17891163684692926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450267390593737,0.0,0.0,0.1132158099724592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260970544898183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480658718377236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777144265653552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602079826638826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201598611606485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776369476634465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057109769826827514,0.0,0.3214784296248087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132575245219115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20159575116791625,0.0,0.0989606525483122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117532423136116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183614849430996,0.0,0.0,0.04909346727448741,0.10071559325987127,0.08873293719027815,0.0,0.08438479419869363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146445382808904,0.0,0.08020873659286952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705214676165942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764258176745241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393317549059236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499384631575222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834329460921853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256980154632908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007609919184627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094491340054369,0.08312489203403227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112607764331892,0.0,0.0,0.08401264949705216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615372457980867,0.08783113139966413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675990664242172,0.12877758463239064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602079826638826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098162387108211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060558682103038,0.0,0.18070195158506536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937341117156244,0.10897518547137357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32960427319701313,0.0,0.06471111751334678
mentalhealth,yfk0523,2019/02/27,"One Day at a Time: Why media portrayal of mental health is so important I recently started watching the Netflix show 'One Day at a Time' and it honestly helped me a with my recent depression relapse. Maybe someone has posted about this show already, but I just wanted to say that it portrays mental health as something normal and its just SO refreshing. Depression and Anxiety is often portrayed as demonic or extremely negative in the media, especially in this day and age, but this show addresses how normal it is to get anxiety attacks, deal with PTSD, take medication for mental health, and go to therapy. Personally, it made me feel like i'm not alone (i know its silly to feel that way from a tv show) and that so many people feel this way. The protagonist (Penelope) says something along the lines of ""just because i'm depressed doesn't mean i cant be happy"" and it really comforted me during this hard time, and even gave me a little hope. I strongly recommend this show to everyone because it also targets social issues and addresses them in a manner that is not only informative, but funny and light. ",8.321991978609624,8.16962618137255,8.764295900178254,65.25842245989307,61.69607843137257,12.124064171122994,38.15329768270946,11.567385478589935,4.785260784313726,887,40,141,24,11,296,120,204,0.141,0.743,0.116,-0.8695,0,1,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,1,11,11,1,0,10,0,8,4,0,2,0,35,23,21,0,4,9,0,4,1,0,0,4,2,2,1,18,13,0,0,6,7,0,1,5,4,0,2,2,8,11,7,20,20,0,20,1,3,1,0,9,6,0,3,11,96,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112598829845805,0.11997277082692542,0.08694156732786326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166337604312471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368216682851113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254669607231145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21034191732478053,0.11208325474325513,0.2809153871704641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180706664722054,0.0,0.0,0.1038844953272768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491292460888518,0.0776680019150285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680055154360754,0.0,0.061786818312608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573209566742562,0.09738977422476933,0.0,0.0,0.34668574058989265,0.0,0.0,0.07287123453536785,0.0,0.0,0.10798128366964074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347311386603308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974844725709533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053114014502643005,0.1089637741644507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287138968511593,0.0,0.11022276237871488,0.10922162008556263,0.11842553132405152,0.0,0.10952172306508408,0.3286858468497831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21304067781279232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14733995924231186,0.08268476874214435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537121802148364,0.09492816980706732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412157840342627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708526393386066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964739209604134,0.0,0.21469137879294745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291348044034385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082408293191004,0.09211622000940638,0.1673925130631117,0.0,0.0,0.07695100242851602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174223852901673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432825333337152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19018263090460755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412456190555972,0.17259022264741616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810088415722527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darkLordSantaClaus,2019/02/27,"Is there a way to cure a constant overwhelming stream of negative thoughts? Literally every waking moment I have a negative a thought enters my mind, criticising me for making an (admittedly big) mistake several years ago, and it's so all consuming that I have trouble moving on.

Due to me getting lazy my senior year of high school, I didn't get into the colleges I wanted to, this is around the time these thoughts started. This made me unable to function in the college I did go to, and I failed out, and then I was forced to go to community college, where the thoughts got worse, and I was unable to function even at community college. This has lasted 6 years. I'm worse off now than I was 7 years ago in every regard possible. I'm no closer to finishing college, I can't get a job etc. I'm looking for solutions but I don't know what to do. 

Today I sent my mom over 100 texts with things like ""[My community college] gives me a permanent mark of shame, a mark that says RETARD RETARD RETARD!!!"" This is about average for my day. ",5.249181264280273,5.901792638613862,6.417524752475249,76.72781797410514,68.15841584158416,9.383701447067782,32.37014470677837,9.466822959209583,2.9619911652703736,811,34,153,16,13,273,119,202,0.19,0.787,0.023,-0.9842,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,2,12,0,14,1,1,2,1,21,36,7,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,8,0,0,6,0,0,5,6,5,0,0,12,2,21,1,28,24,2,37,0,2,1,0,5,13,0,0,19,101,31,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447819172924425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229118078503463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920490538158582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904389822539663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398484195494958,0.09119410741882733,0.0,0.23266030524076545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21640804341853245,0.13244957864492354,0.15693702609938434,0.0,0.11042740334403732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587881484904192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701343275704914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587980642685946,0.1125456934223135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674541569535993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594424815323427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064542250914565,0.09216297357399217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394116075661231,0.16170622486151812,0.0,0.14674684034342986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565347759456793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979901593049114,0.0,0.13973447872239694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559800985555644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772684373710122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917277485350024,0.0,0.0,0.4384494691219259,0.08050988146295159,0.0,0.1308744664533525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143741917951207,0.10959374918399496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814107900515635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556508936704493
mentalhealth,Mlb_Fan23,2019/02/27,"Long term anxiety/depression Hello everyone, 
Does Gabapentin work long term for anxiety and/or depression like an SSRI/SNRI does, considering they work in the first place? 
Thanks. ",6.965714285714286,11.051654142857146,5.261428571428574,69.80857142857147,79.0,11.371428571428574,32.0,10.125756701596842,5.3486142857142855,148,7,20,6,4,43,22,28,0.165,0.6709999999999999,0.165,-0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,1,2,7,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,6,1,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19317275711104276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4349804129092824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4419539512593253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24128824587086764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21478854433778174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233657375927737,0.0,0.0,0.4469344389746076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638237105526471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324812516321504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676668523594429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,b00j,2019/02/27,"I'm not sure who to talk to or what to talk about I don't even know where to begin because my mind is constantly shifting between stuff lately. I'm still a somewhat new father at 30 years old now. My son is 16 months old and I love him so much. He's what keeps me going each day and makes me want to do better and get myself right. I just can't help but feel like I'm failing him because I'm not happy with myself and I don't want that to show. 


Lately I've just been so aggravated and easy to set off, my partner has noticed it and it's to the point she doesn't even want to be together intimately because she feels as if everything including her annoys me. I really am not annoyed by her but I definitely feel angry a lot. I used to be  a super chill guy and nothing really got to me but I just feel likely lately the weight of stuff has piled up on me. I've got a brother that's currently missing for all I know, he's always been something of a drifter but he had been in one spot after being released from prison for a while and he stayed in touch with me and was trying to do better despite constant struggles and ongoing issues with addiction, homelessness, mental health etc. The way he's chosen to live his life has always pained me so much because we were so close when we were younger and at one point I had him convinced to move home and try getting some help and then he started talking strange through Facebook Messenger and honestly seemed paranoid/delusional and I was trying to tell him to go back to the hospital or talk to his doctor to get some help and he texted me with a picture of him there and a few times after saying people were following him and then I lost all contact with him and I haven't been able to reach him at all since August 2018 and about a month back I just got this terrible feeling that something happened to him and I tried again to track him down but with no luck.

I've also been incredibly insecure about every decision in my life lately, and I can't help but feel like Ive wasted a lot of my own potential and wasted time on a lot of things in life. I recently started a new job with a lot better pay and I love my wife (we are commonlaw partners of 8 years) and son more than anything so on paper I should have it made and be happy but I feel guilty because I can't help but feel like something is missing. I feel lonely? And I feel like I should just be happier than what I am but I'm not really sure how to make that happen at this point because it feels like things aren't going to get any better any time soon. I'm also continuously afraid for anything to happen to my family because I feel like they're the only thing driving me right now.

I'm sure this makes zero sense and doesn't translate what I'm feeling effectively, or if anyone will even read it. All I'm really hoping for is an idea of where to start feeling better cause im sick of feeling like a burden or the rain cloud in people's lives.",4.903598000619276,4.974189837970542,5.798224443756361,82.90455301455303,68.78723404255321,8.634865307205732,28.624806475870304,8.358175599149588,1.837630654222143,2345,74,486,31,37,774,261,611,0.149,0.6990000000000001,0.152,-0.1668,2,2,3,0,0,0,26.0,3,0,0,9,30,38,2,3,21,0,43,11,0,8,7,115,103,56,0,8,24,5,17,8,2,3,8,1,1,3,22,40,1,1,21,2,1,6,14,13,0,3,17,18,64,25,73,78,18,71,0,5,0,2,49,23,0,16,47,321,86,6,0.051798372121476186,0.0,0.0,0.05646787133929576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284627894261623,0.08620079017228707,0.0,0.0,0.07044933856893906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0362186261594765,0.0,0.08525129349727742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965950167743653,0.0,0.2210306480910072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290572539569196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321119668703842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195127710898643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03340566484594293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05301782875129072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776887719674655,0.10263700879245824,0.0,0.043642362557814486,0.0,0.04655303688446754,0.0,0.04883089529906373,0.0,0.39286219967338265,0.2960381391470938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825004613801256,0.0,0.08831462571176668,0.0,0.12428367017067113,0.0,0.0,0.05128853212872541,0.13741538820081134,0.11028066062025443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505924736404914,0.0,0.0,0.17359678485101065,0.0,0.05195799061895229,0.05144747111437131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847405720562239,0.05595113053647747,0.0540640428552513,0.05140189171062915,0.0460407731330038,0.0,0.0,0.05693406134700708,0.0,0.2337232797252265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976016626775788,0.2024485454537191,0.0,0.09147782314686588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056544042034521014,0.1761484946014519,0.09350010636620416,0.04901287213358282,0.10372744683611013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220057599130395,0.0,0.05230158978664015,0.0,0.08268993288413277,0.055053472089742136,0.07615552701273702,0.0,0.0,0.10005438114201708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04970193506037792,0.05897278997759948,0.10870735623485107,0.0,0.07019983500383874,0.039394996122424746,0.05511711999402813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182093841148654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689861310482502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181238949660877,0.0,0.1327334542165589,0.0,0.051144643467783385,0.0,0.0,0.08847105354048755,0.0,0.041192144545421465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715529256858899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04284814868849316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963075249582901,0.0,0.0,0.10998946317701708,0.05521017268878109,0.04136624688689588,0.0,0.0,0.054150905173710656,0.11859348685427422,0.0,0.0,0.14645805814781165,0.0,0.0,0.16653427769511725,0.04527406033983911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323761040459233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061214200652122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067077814414866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04473716245526777,0.0,0.0,0.09165606578037568,0.041115136774264455,0.0,0.06307646268126192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671290673978235
mentalhealth,Chimchimjimin,2019/02/27,"What should I do about my psychiatrist? I want to confront her. I have been taking these medications for the past month:
- Buspirone Hydrochloride
- Gianvi
- Escitalopram Oxalate
- Doxycycline 
- Diclofenac Potassium
- Eletriptan HBR

Ever since yesterday, I have been feeling very nauseous and dizzy. Today I was walking back from classes and I felt the dizzy spell hit me really hard. My roommate told me to call the doctors, because dizziness and nausea might be the side effects of the medicine that I am taking.

I called my psychiatrist’s office to ask about what I should do, but the person who picked up the phone told me that my doctor was busy and that “Lexapro is pretty safe.” She hung up after telling me that she will call me later. I thought that was really sketchy because I didn’t know her qualifications to be saying these things to the doctors patients. 

My friend drove me to a place so I can check my blood pressure, but nothing was off about it. Three hours after I had called the office, I get a call back from a different person, who told me that I needed to reschedule my appointment from this Friday to Monday, because the psychiatrist won’t be in the office. FYI: I’ve only seen that psychiatrist once!! The last time I saw her, I had to reschedule my appointment as well (and it was very last minute like this time). Btw we schedule these appointments a MONTH in advance. 

I then asked the person on the phone about when they were going to call me back, since I had called earlier to ask about the side effects. They told me that the psychiatrist can’t give advice over the phone. If my doctor who prescribed me these medication can’t give advice over the phone, then why does the medication tell me to call my doctor when I experience side effects?? 

I am at a loss right now and I need some advice. Thank you so much.",7.247170087976543,7.621357316715543,6.769763929618772,76.89464589442821,63.80938416422287,9.517947214076248,32.29926686217009,9.255337874911486,2.727108973607037,1459,52,264,23,20,454,166,341,0.035,0.879,0.086,0.9648,1,0,0,0,1,0,40.0,1,1,2,5,15,8,1,1,24,0,30,9,1,4,1,27,55,16,0,6,3,0,3,1,1,5,8,1,0,3,22,7,0,1,7,0,1,4,4,3,1,1,21,6,52,5,34,25,2,42,0,1,2,0,40,14,0,3,25,186,74,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097617185132068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20067664101865296,0.0,0.0,0.1650590708559013,0.0,0.13085377723339667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5845073111764392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475745189351753,0.0,0.366186638890481,0.0626163417632356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647236085171586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699923731095058,0.0,0.0,0.03617924808410535,0.0,0.06870191369253408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055281519579634134,0.0,0.037383387332750095,0.13727994086523038,0.0406651079658122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409725879683598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046509962213053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03932355031143635,0.11665017205582265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034957086207608686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21624576963212652,0.0,0.07590621861430137,0.0,0.0,0.11422553245235595,0.0,0.0525995445806492,0.1061109963980358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865684610167919,0.0,0.0,0.07620140199901458,0.0,0.05441913242749704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830524865594191,0.0,0.18743144798315184,0.07475745189351753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279492629193125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167711808021176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061105704435891715,0.0,0.05690166238432207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837843925690295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759760887287327,0.0,0.12508061061906012,0.065876209339293,0.0,0.0,0.04753650416791448,0.0,0.0,0.05680493457326353,0.08344603191173919,0.0,0.06782369260550837,0.2734870856812249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180771153346082,0.04220369820560725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433456476117487,0.0,0.06456527710508703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FlakyBeat,2019/02/27,"Cannabis Edible Derealization/Depersonalization Help  

So recently I went on a trip to Amsterdam with a couple of my friends. I was excited to sample all of the different strains and strengths of weed over there since it is illegal where I'm from. I'll start off by saying I'm not a regular smoker, having only previously smoked around 10 times in the last year or two. Weed is kind of a mixed bag for me, some days I would feel fantastically calm and chatty, and some I would feel anxious and paranoid for the duration of my high.

So anyway, we spend the first two days smoking various strains and for the most part I'm having a great time, no real anxiety issues during being high. However, on the third day we purchased some space cakes for 5 euro each from a nearby shop. We get back to the hostel we're staying at, and decide to eat the space cakes and chill there for the rest of the night. I started off by eating about a 1/4 of the cake, as I had read that they can be incredible strong for newbies. About an hour passes and I feel nothing, so I eat another 1/4 , and then finally finished the cake the following hour. Two hours after this, the thing hit me like a train and I was not ready for it.

I retreated from my friends and went up to my bunk where I lay for what felt like hours just trying to stay calm. I felt like I couldn't stop shaking, and I could hear my friends chattering below me. Their topic of discussion would end, and then loop back around as if I was hearing the same string of sentences in my head over and over. I'm fairly sure I had some sort of panic/anxiety attack at this time. For the next few hours all I could do was lay there frozen, and even when my friends tried to calm me down all I could do was just get into bed and pray I would fall asleep so it would end.

So fast forward to the next day, I wake up in my bed and something doesn't feel right. I feel groggy and slow, and I cant seem to focus on my surroundings and my thoughts. Somehow things don't seem real, almost like my brain cant process them. I tried to brush it off as just the after effects of such a rough session, but the feeling persisted for the rest of my trip. I returned home a few days later and was hoping this feeling would subside, but here we are nearly a month later and i still have bouts of this feeling of immense anxiety and disconnection. I did some googling, and the closest thing that I could find that had similar symptoms was Depersonalization or Derealization.

I was wondering if anyone in this subreddit has experienced DP or DR themselves, and if they had any advice on how I should go about trying to get better. This feeling has been draining away at me ever since that day and I just wanna know if there is a way to help it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you in advance for any responses.

​

​

TL/DR: Ate a strong edible and have been feeling strong symptoms of Depersonalization/Derealization for nearly a month. Any tips on how to help/alleviate them?",6.543891010949833,6.225856344537817,6.73223834988541,78.90970460911637,65.38655462184875,9.766743060860707,31.47568118156353,9.259372276320047,2.4813473389355742,2395,80,480,38,33,771,268,595,0.03,0.845,0.125,0.9929,2,0,3,0,1,0,64.0,4,2,5,9,32,27,1,3,37,0,46,11,4,3,5,106,84,50,0,18,15,0,13,4,4,7,3,3,3,0,20,37,4,1,20,3,4,11,8,4,0,5,21,19,58,23,86,48,17,97,1,0,0,0,21,39,0,20,50,338,78,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059223373677152524,0.0,0.0,0.06068804371273829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133291164742136,0.14728557848676296,0.12364224913125416,0.06355055934108142,0.1390900184731254,0.06846740422025191,0.0,0.0423770470124864,0.0,0.0,0.10790418148804767,0.0,0.06894794852143975,0.05694122809756515,0.09320437591177698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536009840723551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765621612049644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935554844993012,0.0670592638579133,0.0,0.2345147091046397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332025509739694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18604486534166734,0.0,0.0,0.1073576584215592,0.0,0.0,0.0400296183485594,0.054821496697988914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30644158674383737,0.0,0.1163823161572426,0.0663907894246895,0.05539268492620049,0.05155133854715787,0.0,0.0,0.18729583918617812,0.0,0.0949922273575965,0.0,0.03444372359863295,0.0,0.0,0.06681820700041244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062199127304671774,0.0,0.13661448406908475,0.0,0.12186855040479695,0.1280668992510305,0.06079264855156762,0.0601953230497344,0.2984229645689474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325680260963214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631117075050423,0.033307411822999636,0.04940188880602033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843590491983674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675008538040274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891010183156634,0.05687452162876225,0.0,0.058152985411184466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04609350988041018,0.0,0.07110795292054692,0.0,0.06563027219908746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124458039127245,0.13796554086723145,0.0,0.0,0.059841004215010214,0.0,0.0,0.051757098386633435,0.0,0.04819623577825104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103466509893444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026763596029932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665737458154455,0.0,0.0,0.08579432088169822,0.1291956284204782,0.048399941547684684,0.050669237274809764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712033350058824,0.12598544929540942,0.045568086318703585,0.0,0.0,0.11159552056843884,0.0,0.0,0.12079157973327714,0.0,0.0,0.04811430642517511,0.14135912591143385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16458968245922534,0.0,0.1776094426359756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04810613401888893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236453328168307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572450175981145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583161096911481,0.0,0.14728557848676296,0.039028205719388885
mentalhealth,AbsyntheMinded_,2019/02/27,"Started counselling today... And it feels really good to be validated.

For someone to literally be like ""wait what!? No wonder youre struggling"" rather than belittling my problems is just... a relief.

Wether its my age thats made a difference... or the fact that this therapist actually probed rather than just letting me skirt around subjects... but i was finally honest.

Im not saving face for anyone.
Im not lying to keep the peace anymore.",3.7067369901547127,6.72960901265823,4.7118143459915665,76.91542897327709,79.12658227848101,7.561744022503518,27.765119549929686,8.515128840125781,2.696821659634318,348,15,56,8,9,113,64,79,0.061,0.706,0.233,0.9447,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,1,4,0,5,1,1,1,1,18,11,3,0,3,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,5,5,8,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,5,38,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.21211653715621245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155673190622648,0.15198641294919468,0.0,0.0,0.19350061699385296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270997891015309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990609499980504,0.0,0.0,0.23811234262148376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18231515045319427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4695822306040929,0.0,0.0,0.19320368274272626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22227007522656336,0.0,0.10619338546556807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567568165397432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079886084138123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924935678056194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18417235734653795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538518136761558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227236720660396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523771048709947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060362665749666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23572268408422725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TechnicalTechnician5,2019/02/27,"Impulsive thoughts I dunno if this is the right place for this,  but here goes.

Lately I've been having impulsive thoughts that end in my death, like I was at the shooting range and only after I got back I thought I could have just ended it right then and there.

I have a chronic illness so depression is kinda normal for me, but I really don't want to think these thoughts because they freak me out.

How do I stop thinking about things like this? It's the same sensation as when you're on a really tall building and you have the sudden urge to jump.",2.738727272727271,4.815034509090912,3.3963636363636382,90.30454545454548,76.63636363636364,6.581818181818183,23.72727272727273,7.554174236665415,1.0246545454545457,436,14,89,6,10,137,78,110,0.202,0.743,0.055,-0.9607,0,0,0,1,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,8,4,0,0,6,0,11,2,0,1,0,22,19,11,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,4,0,1,6,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,1,13,2,11,11,1,18,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,3,11,64,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340669623398464,0.0,0.11368843763310388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890477136120012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063184986059684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303666154950792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491607835826114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103796952815986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822285882383127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827300304763564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184136538900252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194852409007192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389528649827491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185393137897312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592203364258972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390206084193392,0.23900285259028284,0.0,0.5922394658856006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000230821254307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jj66311,2019/02/27,"Post-Drug Induced Hallucination/Attempt Fear/Anxiety. Any advice? So last April I tried to kill myself and ended up with full blown hallucinations and in a psych ward unit that was only for people who were schizophrenic etc, because even though it was drug induced, I had been at that hospital a month prior for an od and the psych wanted to “teach me a lesson” (totally unethical) and keep me there as long as possible to try to scare me, saying if I used again I could end up trapped in my head forever, like the people in the unit. I’ve been to 7+ psych wards and come out unscathed but two weeks there, after 1. Surviving an attempt (and accidental od 3 weeks prior) 2. Having full blown hallucinations that were really fucked up (I thought my family was with me and tried to take a fatal shot while “making eye contact” with my sister who wasn’t there) 3. Realizing the slight hallucinations I was starting to have from drinking or weed were leading up to this and I truly am possibly susceptible to stay hallucinating, I’m struggling. 
It’s been 10 months that I’ve been sober and I legit feel not depressed or suicidal for the first time in 8 years, I’ve been sober before but something really switched this time. But still I am really struggling to put that day/following weeks behind me. The cops and nurses were absolutely cruel to me and I’ve always disliked cops but I thought nurses were some of the kindest and most generous people alive but I’ve developed more distrust. 
What really fucks with me though, is seeing homeless people rambling on, because I never understood it until that was me, feeling so desperate but no one taking me seriously or even acknowledging me when I was literally crying out for help. I’m so scared I’m going to end up that way, with or without drugs, and I don’t know what to do. I saw a man on the bus today freaking out like that and people either looked disgusted or completely ignored him, and I’ve spent the rest of the day having the worst anxiety I’ve had for a long time. 
I’ve had minorly traumatic things happen to me, nothing wild, and I feel bad considering any of this to be traumatic because it’s small imo compared to what others have gone through which I know isn’t fair for me to say to myself either. I guess I just want to know how to make myself feel better about all this lol because I’m scared as fuck. I see a good therapist and psychiatrist regularly but even thinking about that day sends me into such a spiral. I’m just so fucking scared. ",5.863428170707272,6.6474285465838525,6.659536499031592,75.06785013023445,66.84679089026915,9.710518934081348,30.48747745942697,9.778596075983213,2.8614503305950705,2000,72,367,42,31,662,240,483,0.201,0.7070000000000001,0.092,-0.9966,0,1,5,0,0,1,43.0,0,0,0,6,21,25,8,6,21,1,32,10,2,7,3,78,71,43,5,4,19,1,4,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,25,27,1,2,16,1,1,6,7,21,0,3,26,11,39,4,61,43,12,57,0,1,5,4,10,19,4,9,32,246,64,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739453457178893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629647769160523,0.0,0.0,0.10291847390287087,0.0,0.11577703039985925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318256879129634,0.1845146552878947,0.0,0.06439090064075301,0.0,0.0,0.06692532106759144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518432478777203,0.07934016205961875,0.0,0.0,0.06041756121036356,0.0,0.08312162513170457,0.14640563483605482,0.0,0.06517578001409398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412929334486583,0.26326486055124576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010675517420208,0.0,0.08439376154473736,0.14994100051824544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133638619719115,0.08515151194127894,0.15304720192158508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436616684267256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798284495700148,0.0,0.0,0.04300587574082953,0.06346969120507757,0.0,0.0,0.08336072427447007,0.0,0.06691608623388602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766082352835155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050721033111837455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726033493586579,0.08371933898242348,0.0,0.12476128575414047,0.06168239868927267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393857687380463,0.0,0.0,0.1339338499428323,0.0635450288931078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102267101502084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080059050146913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836255082519486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726088762554967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127698878079915,0.05755161031585721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623055633215433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061656595482638,0.0724724105407295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607079072682926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390848546373446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035407966968192,0.303041619940414,0.0,0.12060082826799175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05825564265435231,0.0,0.0,0.053560700145288735,0.0806557851708285,0.06043138356114763,0.0,0.0,0.15821663152972607,0.0,0.08277237451040755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379114992360118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786048155392269,0.050272803729365996,0.0484872625095327,0.14869379284781634,0.12014948834158,0.13237403731272285,0.0,0.07172776471979188,0.0,0.0,0.15412800996518064,0.0,0.07392009169709238,0.0,0.0,0.06535590794987231,0.0,0.0,0.0892660608381869,0.06006454023658873,0.18209741667774007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294465693405999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048729985907278235
mentalhealth,onebeerqueer98,2019/02/27,"Coping with anxiety and paranoia? I had a massive anxiety attack on the train home from school today. I stayed late to study and I had been in class from 9:00-18:00. Then I stayed to study until 22:00. When I was walking to the train it was so dark and I got so paranoid someone was following me. I considered taking alternate routes or a different train. The whole way home I kept thinking that there was someone who was going to follow me and kill me. My anxiety is usually about things that are a lot more based in reality (eg tests, applications) something like this has never sent me into a full blown panic attack before. Any advice? ",2.9591354100444995,5.6574589504132256,4.0333884297520655,82.72322949777495,79.33057851239671,7.028862047043865,24.183725365543552,8.139509932561175,1.7776097902097905,507,18,90,10,13,164,82,121,0.195,0.785,0.02,-0.9627,1,0,1,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,3,1,7,0,11,0,0,0,1,11,19,10,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,1,1,0,0,5,1,4,0,0,11,0,13,1,13,8,4,20,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,8,65,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742318406666791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955222200788613,0.0,0.3697187819676373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665446568538551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370826047992291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831321072124972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155575414476677,0.0,0.12884485506956267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32318902854146964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823116225395355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172565668457835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870438689433626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695983084390087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424877444223224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18901389208655814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630398625159765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729957690734657,0.12402117628181546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434182474020729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211257109265713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107026409278398,0.10322514793626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270214776266455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17742678073056048,0.0,0.0,0.1278721612800134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798602586254949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tessislurking,2019/02/27,"Seeking help in Scotland Sorry in advance for the long post. This is partly venting and partly asking for advice.

I'm living in Scotland at the moment and I'm a full-time university student with a part time job. I've struggled with depression most of my life, with some times I'm my life being harder than others. I have no problems asking for help when I need it and identifying when it's reached the point where I need to nip it in the bud. 

I started feeling that needling sense of impending depression start to kick in around September and sought help from my GP in October. He basically told me it wouldn't be worthwhile to seek counselling because of the waitlist, that it would be nearly three months before I could see someone. He recommended medication (which I will address again in a little bit) and this internet cognitive behavioural therapy site called Beating the Blues. I opted for the CBT site only to be thoroughly disappointed. It was not at all helpful and it barely worked (function-wise as well as helping with my depression).

So, I went to my university for help. They have a counselling programme as well with a significant waiting list. I did manage to get in to see someone by the end of December, but then we had a month break for the holidays. When I went to my second appointment I was told that we no longer get 6 counselling sessions, but four and that I only had three left. After every session, my counsellor pressured me to see if I still wanted to come back for more sessions. This was coming after she recommended serious long-term counselling during our first session. After our third session, I decided not to go back and told her as much at the end. I was made to feel like I was taking up resources that needed to go to others, even though I really need the help.

I have sought other free counselling services in my city with them simply not responding at all (I've tried two that have not emailed or called me back). I am not in crisis, I am not suicidal and I don't wish to harm others so I know immediate help isn't on the table for me. But why should I have to get that bad to get the help I need anyway?

The lack of help available to me is only making me feel worse. For the first time in my life, I am seriously considering taking medication. There are some days that I just cannot get out of bed. I can't focus on my studies and it's frustrating because I'm in y final semester of my final year. It takes me 6-8 hours to read a 12 page article. I really want help, but I cannot find any. Can anyone please, please give me suggestions to actually get the help I need?

Thanks in advance.

TL;DR: I've been struggling with depression more than usual the last six months and I can't get the help I need despite asking for it.",5.003852852852855,6.061536248148153,5.835225225225228,79.22148648648653,68.92592592592592,8.726726726726728,29.779779779779787,8.994212911058018,2.43129029029029,2194,82,413,39,37,720,251,540,0.096,0.7609999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.9782,1,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,4,0,2,6,19,19,1,3,25,0,36,5,0,2,2,67,86,28,1,17,13,0,3,1,1,4,5,0,2,0,26,24,0,1,6,2,1,8,15,14,2,9,15,7,59,6,78,62,14,72,0,5,4,0,36,29,0,5,34,289,85,11,0.0,0.0,0.05839151908816681,0.0,0.0,0.058471261512075816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040690681364565294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0418388761755485,0.0,0.0,0.05326692167545459,0.16781636477145634,0.0,0.0,0.138031078769237,0.049960744208230067,0.07295120847300955,0.0,0.05091621594045375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532565462335424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219894110003933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308721026729403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777435262701552,0.0,0.0,0.03858941167169554,0.0,0.2061473938871939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599426089960826,0.0,0.0,0.039521258877390934,0.0,0.0504145959326246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076497188940226,0.042747007411593665,0.0,0.1310953081331054,0.054689220911867766,0.10179331606200888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188336865330336,0.05740035440871785,0.06801260532586925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5213904392748879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058926623456615014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937821531387018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032884421573307704,0.04877450540582223,0.0,0.0,0.06501222793770266,0.0,0.1267922749268277,0.029232954571020663,0.05997161182154358,0.05283647837162698,0.10590634324983456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661847799459997,0.03994114138098246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055739280419832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432820994232455,0.0,0.04398650642821067,0.3105745918205348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652442454152153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19439038527833846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136440181579168,0.05656456852698225,0.0,0.057306558350600015,0.0,0.0,0.05725518133163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05985241237375629,0.0,0.07666522925064634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304516057982347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139806979399472,0.0,0.0,0.06698174925062904,0.08470476876024396,0.0,0.04778528246011806,0.0,0.0,0.1251076176319271,0.0,0.06545111269663917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349681718372111,0.0,0.0,0.0550891519816501,0.06842793216859823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05878878219054505,0.0,0.10467294294154572,0.0,0.0,0.1715282168542113,0.0,0.04062486552068709,0.0,0.0584512922436937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659011425594647,0.0,0.07058590553265562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759989535972624,0.11093755053556296,0.05399288147956551,0.0,0.06880869981181363,0.0,0.0,0.04356148069155359,0.0,0.06097821997116689,0.04250593379136303,0.0,0.0,0.03853256377128431
mentalhealth,bettertobebetter,2019/02/27,"I called my grandma today. After being limited contact for a year and a month of avoiding her calls/texts completely, I called my grandma. I have a lot of one sided issues with her - meaning I have issues in how I was raised, how she handled my mental health as a teenager, etc. Just a lot of family issues overall and I've been feeling the lack of support system hard this month. Not that she provided any before, but I've been taking action with my mental health lately and it's forced me to be aware of the lack of family in my life.

I don't want to be in good with them again. They don't like me very much and that's okay, if I wasn't born into the family I doubt any of us would have crossed paths naturally and I don't like them very much either. But again, I've been craving a support system. I *want* a real family that cares about me and even if that isn't the hand I was dealt, after being diagnosed with Bipolar on top of my Borderline and GAD, I wanted to talk to someone and so I called the one person that has continued to make an effort to stay in contact with me.

And I regret it. As soon as she answered the phone, I regretted my decision. I apologized for not getting ahold of her sooner and mentioned the last few weeks being incredibly stressful. She made snide comments about me not calling her then went right into talking about herself. After half the call was about her, she casually mentioned my issues. I told her what has been going on and for the rest of the call, she referred to my issues as ""the problem"", like addressing it directly would contaminate her or something. To finish the call, she went on and on about the rest of the family and how they all have been getting along, visiting one another, etc. Then she ended the call.

Now this probably doesn't sound that bad to strangers, but it's the consistency in her lack of caring and making me out to be a monster that makes this short little phone call sting as much as I should have known it would. I do not have a family member I can call and pour my heart out to, I can't complain about my stresses or take pride in getting help. I don't get to focus on myself or take precedence in conversation unless it allows someone to turn it on me or attempt to ""one up"" my issues. I don't have a supportive family. I have a family that created a person suffering from 3 disorders and I don't know why I ever thought that same family would be a good place to seek support.

They say not seek out toxic people in moments of weakness and all I have to say is: Lesson learned. Thanks for listening. ",4.724585483316133,5.471107222222222,5.751721706226353,80.69938854489165,69.37037037037037,8.686366242403395,28.14866414402018,8.841846274778883,2.1126847150556127,2027,67,394,34,34,672,217,513,0.11,0.7859999999999999,0.104,-0.2267,0,1,1,0,0,0,50.0,1,0,5,6,17,26,0,4,30,1,44,8,2,8,3,87,75,39,0,16,17,0,3,3,0,5,6,4,1,2,20,28,0,2,10,1,0,6,15,11,0,5,14,7,70,15,76,49,17,58,0,3,0,0,53,26,0,9,26,306,90,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191972971563207,0.055448753357388685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04415216333753475,0.0,0.0,0.04499654915792427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5399586908309049,0.0,0.10782832360740917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544313663557982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05367156677209895,0.0,0.0,0.060604474011291175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04683553051747633,0.0,0.1179492133882818,0.03492640281711643,0.04783252390863943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4486506724857235,0.0,0.026737457762738757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105093989254725,0.0,0.030052631390390643,0.08870561063530262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04736963426668506,0.0,0.0,0.11241684504656024,0.0,0.06266244736710402,0.03544400586180105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311546789623105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02906118344662003,0.04310384009513187,0.0596503652395558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03735034589806825,0.07750273973175642,0.05299913847808207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991249867559031,0.0,0.05003584970474472,0.10589240569300036,0.0,0.0,0.0576012641092193,0.0,0.0,0.10658017215083214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844158049462883,0.0,0.11661752325214303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333003721866114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03665997852785061,0.09234465776639818,0.05524780967825154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701303133219466,0.050598528067119314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060188433639958475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04515879345029384,0.0,0.08410378187482742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960923642361822,0.040709212984109296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05636249790258754,0.0,0.0,0.12114654868483175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400280633454037,0.0,0.0,0.11927638114212374,0.08500505812769632,0.0,0.04868432756490877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04198040642903897,0.0,0.0,0.05012357117364896,0.05052861646721732,0.0,0.0,0.0575176977415701,0.0,0.0,0.06360751265885872,0.0,0.0,0.08726223045503595,0.09356907547502732,0.0,0.042416735281615874,0.0,0.0,0.09803962949585764,0.047715512647572386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025628311289593,0.0,0.0,0.034052656268548205
mentalhealth,michaelsmanifesto,2019/02/27,"Dealing with Anxiety as it occurs. Anyone who has suffered from any of the many symptoms of anxiety knows how consuming it can become. I have documented my personal journey through the last few years of ups and downs through my various adventures ultimately leading to personal development through self awareness. Below is a brief over view of the mechanics of anxiety I witnessed at work within my mind and a first step towards tuning those mechanics to shift from reverse, grab a gear and move onward and upward.

Anxiety seems to be a root cause of many ailments and illnesses. It seems to me that anxiety creeps in when we feel shaken and not well grounded, when we feel as if we are being thrashed around a chaotic world that is always in contradiction with itself and what we have been taught. At a certain point, the world outside of us no long fits our inner box of understanding that we use to interpret the environment we inhabit. The confines of this box are a result of what we have been taught by parents, teachers, friends, siblings, TV shows, pretty much all environmental stimulation our brain experienced and organized before storing in our memory. That box forms our identity and who we believe we are, including what we believe we deserve and are worthy of experiencing. 

As soon as our external experience no longer fits into that box, or operates in alignment with what you have learned to label as good or bad, right or wrong, POSSIBLE, AND IMPOSSIBLE, that box that our egoic mind clings to for stability and grounding in a turbulent world, all of the sudden shatters. We have no sound guide at that point to help us interpret our experiences confidently and so we are constantly unsure and most likely anxious.

The solution is to do the inner homework necessary to redesign your box of interpretation. First analyze the confines of the old system of interpretation, reflect on how it led you to make decisions or act in past situations. If, in hind site you figure you could have and should have handled such situations better, find the deeply ingrained belief that you have which led to that action and replace it with a beneficial belief. Learn to RE-FRAME your mind and become aware of alternative ways to deal with situations, ask yourself which of handling these scenarios will likely lead to your favorite outcome? Act accordingly.",12.522191995442247,10.202322760290564,11.427563025210087,56.403104970801905,55.05326876513317,14.85081897165646,47.29653895456489,13.216016132239005,6.341601167924797,1912,95,292,53,17,614,226,413,0.091,0.833,0.075,-0.2942,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,22,8,0,6,9,11,0,0,21,0,26,3,1,12,3,85,37,33,0,4,7,1,3,2,1,2,2,1,1,3,27,37,0,2,18,2,1,11,4,3,1,2,4,7,36,8,68,28,7,58,2,1,1,0,41,33,0,9,14,222,63,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965243745847397,0.0,0.0,0.06509756491950723,0.0,0.3661540278840242,0.10814413331400666,0.0,0.06693446427193023,0.0,0.0,0.08521722358893354,0.08949171598929381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992795108008131,0.0,0.21144564884571035,0.08145652914835988,0.21570283883724609,0.0,0.0846626512761548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686286327022802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833788084154943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344675588816868,0.0,0.07643012889759207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19738043169360286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727852561027356,0.0,0.0,0.09680477940473424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749263932964907,0.16285048022049342,0.0,0.0,0.07395835446364712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029117002925869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416371367687393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05260899292959557,0.07803018837716846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353464204377808,0.0,0.0,0.08471528153246215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389843956439482,0.1941040744275974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289970597796105,0.0,0.0,0.10174253005652427,0.0703702754971883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044926359104618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062933781036052,0.0,0.09138214416386604,0.0,0.16717004854402773,0.0,0.0,0.180985697380616,0.1079176804454917,0.0,0.09738865723649756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175023738105508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429232305868655,0.09986401908718756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228030911206923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949688745610263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965506404761867,0.23029531401469855,0.08267729396483935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759835461824239,0.0,0.0,0.08606996661908556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969031292205702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466232210085888,0.0,0.06164497588876956
mentalhealth,twxstedwhxspers,2019/02/27,"Bad MH days Does anyone have any tips on how to get through the really bad mental health days? Nothing seems to be working. 
I have so much work to do for very close deadlines and I just can't seem to bring myself to do anything except sit in bed. 
Literally any ideas would be appreciated, I'm out of ideas. ",3.1541935483870955,4.763511193548388,4.281483870967743,86.45222580645166,74.16129032258064,6.895483870967742,23.690322580645162,7.554174236665415,0.9090864516129034,242,7,51,3,5,79,49,62,0.111,0.8390000000000001,0.05,-0.6115,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,0,11,13,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,12,10,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,2,29,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762345711480645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420146287810028,0.0,0.1671368033923676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.339165732491686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619697981580067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777371654333726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611315052458134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158894305084228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585580629597029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20468046990291214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149304377956171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488320253280134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011324714792344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697954383858131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758158646090646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957234072734125,0.0,0.0,0.1442788372957813,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IsmKing,2019/02/27,"(15M)Got a suicidal parent what do I do last night my dad said are you sure you dont wanna kill yourself
he thought no one heard but I did from my bed
I later hugged him until he told me to get off
today he drove me to school and acted regularly and that scares me how he has a mask 
what do I do because my mom has serious anxiety and I dont wanna work her up
my dad was on suicide watch for a couple weeks a couple months ago
We thought he was better but I guess not
he does have meds but I dont think he takes therapy

PLS HELP
thank you",0.2310224089635824,2.066841058823531,2.5564915966386583,94.39647408963587,83.78991596638657,5.64733893557423,19.160364145658267,6.816661863887847,0.04710028011204415,422,11,100,5,12,144,77,119,0.131,0.7020000000000001,0.16699999999999998,0.6876,1,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,1,3,0,2,1,7,1,1,4,0,14,1,0,1,1,16,25,8,3,2,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,3,0,1,9,3,20,4,10,16,0,13,0,0,1,1,21,3,0,1,8,61,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127850472319223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103349335713725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792077393858992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755899557507486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31917370510110105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262159338176566,0.0,0.50710660033154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535379756472048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535325673304064,0.0,0.15888471043901184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667378407855197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956822650162114,0.0,0.0,0.11756603772611685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020611303390206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891948109715932,0.11512236133825013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534932200096494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773343004790636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014944420948374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371949853478667,0.0,0.14439857755035035,0.14596763765515655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155266432938907,0.0,0.1359343022212576,0.0,0.10844239936426876,0.0,0.0,0.13278685793503392,0.16493864546483486,0.0,0.0,0.0924162395523576,0.0,0.22900372844281794,0.0,0.0,0.13671240535792656,0.13781716934552826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569195434400208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500056617237093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ibuysleep,2019/02/27,"Talking to people casually seems completely unfeasible to me I kinda vaguely get the idea, but it feels impossible to me.  I can deal with cashiers and required stuff, albeit stressfully, but actually conversing with someone that I don’t already know well seems impossible.",9.515333333333334,11.495302311111107,9.664444444444444,52.49000000000001,59.22222222222222,13.111111111111116,46.111111111111114,12.45797560212912,7.0007777777777775,224,14,29,8,3,74,36,45,0.104,0.81,0.085,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,7,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,5,2,5,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,20,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.25173056095266155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28466393130528805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704648758318707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659441780730001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304317113476276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477281712562694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912040668627278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417674007890319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17883613991224304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4696719751046979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218567639507876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954909140771418,0.0,0.2953010901394705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20733749826154566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23193592528782705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CheifofRamen,2019/02/27,"Truman show scenario I’ve had this on and off paranoia for the last two years that I am in a Truman Show scenario. It started after some experimenting with psychedelic drugs. 
The terrible thing is that when you’re in that headspace you project it out into the world and eventually shut off communication until it passes. 
There have been two times that I went  overboard around my friends. One of them was pretty bad. 
So I thought it was my vices and I am now completely sober but today I was reading a conspiracy theory (I know) and I threw myself back into one of my turns which I am starting to get over. 
Now I know that it is incredibly irresponsible to ask for mental health advice on Reddit but I want to know if I should get help or wait for it to pass when I’m less stressed with life. 
Am I actually onto something and my whole life is some sick joke being played out?",4.344993252361672,5.916280836257307,5.204327485380119,81.17858299595146,71.046783625731,7.834637876743139,26.604138551506967,8.384062270229773,1.6937382816014397,697,23,137,11,13,227,106,171,0.122,0.794,0.084,-0.8294,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,0,8,6,0,1,5,0,15,5,0,0,0,25,30,13,0,3,4,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,14,12,0,1,4,5,0,4,0,3,0,4,8,0,19,3,26,20,4,32,0,0,0,0,5,15,0,4,13,103,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.16290387469318204,0.0,0.0,0.16312634449761693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860699069684402,0.15606111118589225,0.0,0.0,0.12836223428061333,0.13938323477741102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750275217863104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19359088310187805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329385622402956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289730881957574,0.0,0.17443264758949115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744344015800406,0.0,0.0,0.11189259635410634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752283092642557,0.136073800458159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358213794204828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682305920544479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22623811290487916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169832278856381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697955521069754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285142417052073,0.0,0.0,0.23631402730246984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19122276873187727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090378468585142,0.0,0.0,0.13252725128364198,0.09734077965996782,0.0,0.15823427349118585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815766694574169,0.3261412662665557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984622226785564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474984307161366,0.0,0.1863762741423629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750026781674216
mentalhealth,lildrewbiedrop,2019/02/27,"vent post; help wanted my friend hurt me really bad, i told him this and said ""its not my fault youre crazy""  
ive been explosive and toxic to everyone around me, i try to calm down and control it but everyone who even tries to help i scream at. I just find things to be mad at.   
I dont know what to do, i dont want to loose him hes all i have. 

i used to be really sweet until he started treating me like this; i dont want to put all the blame onto him but it DIRECTLY relates to him. ",0.0625,1.5491239537037025,2.6071851851851875,95.60633333333335,82.6111111111111,6.542222222222222,18.20740740740741,7.554174236665415,0.12038962962962962,369,8,94,6,10,128,67,108,0.16899999999999998,0.654,0.177,0.2498,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,3,10,1,0,1,0,10,0,0,2,2,17,18,6,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,8,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,3,3,21,5,15,13,2,9,0,1,0,0,13,5,0,0,3,63,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480303386571632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884237444335262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650457394755396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5846600091923151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098307383224182,0.0,0.0,0.31778796585860125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198294997795378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284726232174729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22291682045183064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801325636716814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138677267105504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123923870546672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925660753594514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671639727910411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130549221212412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817664637411818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769851918468875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047343552564344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889398292930065,0.0,0.22579538714737266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361824182291655,0.0,0.0,0.29424045463198906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,idriswinchester,2019/02/27,Is ot possible to become mentally ill after studying engenering under pressure from parents? Asking for a friend.....or something like that,8.262272727272727,11.71049613636364,8.009090909090908,57.23363636363638,64.9090909090909,9.854545454545457,42.81818181818181,10.125756701596842,6.0946545454545475,113,7,11,3,2,36,22,22,0.204,0.6940000000000001,0.102,-0.3612,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523047574037794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4162022551315509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911541011283668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18411033362029186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797771108462686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4184483711419592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248428115232028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2901182645877294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dustedbunny,2019/02/27,"What does your therapist say about that? I have several people in my life where if I vent or describe things troubling me they ask ""What does your therapist say about that?""  I am always caught offguard because although I am close with these people it seems like such an inappropriate display of boundaries.  Does anyone have any advice for what to say in response to this question that politely indicates ""That's private"" without being harsh.  Also, what do you make of this question? Is it inappropriate? Has you encountered it or asked it yourself?",7.1127678571428605,9.113604145833337,6.5981547619047625,72.18375000000003,64.83333333333334,9.235714285714286,35.589285714285715,9.606745405546679,3.7530285714285694,442,21,68,9,7,137,66,96,0.036000000000000004,0.904,0.06,0.3326,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,4,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,0,10,13,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,16,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,11,1,11,11,0,5,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,6,1,54,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134160115447727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203678703281527,0.13738306076392665,0.0,0.0,0.11227908400898368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544733426476166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30870733521582217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064828837974198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334613016670292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662064475034573,0.08066341609528116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021085462666434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22893016006434824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699174348850094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939014632536011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030809836761658,0.0,0.18652501432973728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834061666624643,0.10969040132918607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915819489580205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ScienceGun,2019/02/27,"Just want to sleep after work. It seems like every day after work, all I want to do is sleep. I'll come home, eat dinner, and then immediately want to go to bed. I feel like I've tried everything to solve this problem with no results. I take meds for my depression, vitamin D3 for a deficiency, and a multivitamin for good measure. I've had a sleep study done, and now sleep with a CPAP machine. I also try to walk for 20 minutes after work every day. I've even given up caffeine. Nothing seems to help.

When the weekend comes around, if I'm lucky I have enough energy to take care of my chores and have a little fun, but not always.  Sometimes I end up sleeping all day Saturday (usually when my depression is bad). 

How can I stop sleeping my life away?",3.2518,4.8420305133333335,4.703666666666667,83.60350000000003,73.86666666666667,7.666666666666668,25.833333333333336,8.344100000000001,1.640133333333334,587,20,119,10,12,196,94,150,0.103,0.767,0.13,-0.4657,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,0,0,6,0,8,10,6,2,2,26,22,11,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,2,9,2,1,3,1,0,4,2,4,0,0,3,1,11,6,22,19,3,24,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,4,17,68,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648970053397982,0.08999173677984505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627886099935846,0.0,0.0,0.1016130516822556,0.0,0.09030301349787236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102689180565586,0.0,0.0,0.1863280038709265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20924869424723447,0.0,0.18630357881738574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067779444252568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106672449751718,0.0,0.0,0.09579121893001738,0.11175068298149043,0.0,0.07143385933130349,0.0,0.18224668223591547,0.0,0.09720070159997858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468527081649908,0.07726433319716045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06146568985411253,0.09071338014967588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249249635376077,0.0,0.10848600821512296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639147291603089,0.1056759234893346,0.10839744999070476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013330372506803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037754630430393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348755797279743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19691637016911367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6493850303668645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696581719358207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042052653103697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16263478905759354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685721110053174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911495435835055,0.0,0.19137385004239785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23620943049695384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theotherkafka,2019/02/27,"Need help commmunicating with someone with mental illness Recently a homeless man has been coming into our office at work. We're in the midwest (USA) and temperatures are right around zero in the mornings (fahrenheit). He is in very rough shape from the weather and I know there are shelters he could be in but communicating with him has been nearly impossible. He usually will only whisper and it's nonsensical. It almost seems like the words are coming out totally random. A sentence might start out normal but halfway through it turns into gibberish. It also seems like maybe he knows it's happening because once the words get weird, he gets a sad/desperate look in his eyes and has occasionally cried. Then occasionally it's like a switch flips and he can speak at full volume and carry on a normal conversation. The last time this happened I started telling him where he could get help and thought he was understanding but then someone else showed up and he got scarred and went into the nonsensical speaking again.

If you have any thoughts on how I could talk to the man better, it'd be appreciated.",6.790107142857143,8.440419625000004,6.796428571428574,71.78,65.25,9.114285714285714,33.285714285714285,9.424239791934726,3.186471428571428,895,38,149,17,14,285,128,200,0.033,0.85,0.117,0.9532,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,13,0,20,2,1,1,1,44,41,17,0,7,4,0,1,3,0,2,1,3,0,2,8,20,0,0,7,1,0,3,0,1,0,1,7,6,8,4,23,26,2,33,0,0,2,0,23,21,0,6,12,94,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336420723751086,0.0,0.0,0.10650693283998997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056946271275412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856170294335446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118752911078436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779013312402488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22945187776079096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190089698999077,0.0,0.14629600775258764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125786659128724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087489119806995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065191475177285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23554775920066656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854041331822693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638852403724045,0.108562466897704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952004414929248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118407396974562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338008976909689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342178143007621,0.14128682710731832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987540037954804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609834382031109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183626198369972,0.0,0.10129218257705988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150280680008575,0.0,0.0,0.11373812653971566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424908224125091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256921829121736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188536174341482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704798909746883,0.11640839795228156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21146591455638888,0.07766046905466821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486558838655705,0.0,0.13864889752110018,0.0,0.0,0.14668299653898156,0.10989047593307794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346259646839765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695929802349648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maajigg,2019/02/27,"I don't know what to do anymore... I think about suicide pretty much every day.

​

I know what people are going to say. It gets better. It's never worth it to take your own life. I know that quite well. I've tried committing suicide before. The thing is, I don't have a plan anymore. I think about what it would be like if I were gone. But I am in a constant loop of being too afraid to do it, but still thinking about it. 

​

I struggle with depression, anxiety and very severe OCD and have for about 3 years. (OCD has been my whole life) I also have physical problems that ail me at the moment and are contributing a lot to my mental health because I am also a hypochondriac and afraid of dying. Funny right? I think about suicide but I'm afraid to do it. I can explain that to you. If I am not in control of how I die, I don't want to die. I can also explain to you that it's not for attention. I literally can't stop obsessing over my health every single day. I've never been so low before and I haven't been the same since someone I considered my second mother passed away unexpectedly last November.

​

A mix of these things (depression, anxiety, OCD, hypochondria, grief) have all kind of drop on me like a bomb. I am in school, but most days, I can't even get out of bed to go to class. I have good friends, a wonderful boyfriend and a loving family, but I still feel so lost. I've been what I consider a ""monster"" of sorts with just a shell of my human body. It's consuming me every day. I don't know what my purpose is, and I'm guessing that is the case for a lot of people, but honestly it's gotten to the point where I don't want to do anything, I almost can't do anything, or so it seems.

​

I don't know why I am posting on here. I think I came here for support, to reach out, because I am told to do that every day and not let this consume me. But I am almost there. I am almost letting it consume me. I am almost gone. I don't want to feel bad anymore and it seems every day that is what I feel with no control.

​

I think about suicide pretty much every day 

and 

I'm afraid I may do it someday. ",2.201444067385772,3.7215777421524687,3.847852381529514,88.94497818446251,76.51121076233184,6.5256574960610845,24.38589261907648,7.222845823187471,0.9467382862683316,1667,55,357,19,37,557,181,446,0.165,0.723,0.113,-0.9799,0,0,0,0,0,5,78.0,0,3,0,6,23,23,0,6,16,0,52,6,1,3,4,74,91,27,8,7,14,1,3,2,1,2,4,1,1,1,31,16,0,3,20,0,1,6,17,13,1,1,11,4,54,10,48,74,10,38,0,5,0,1,11,14,0,16,18,255,85,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22279068738435856,0.0,0.0,0.1334433350042082,0.0,0.301333548093682,0.3379357496283619,0.0,0.0,0.08510177328780398,0.0,0.16548704616635326,0.0,0.0,0.09154478280252873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052258956510503454,0.0,0.046442274658864593,0.06781364277679211,0.0,0.09466091519537773,0.0,0.0,0.04919338042301852,0.0,0.061783806222677866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361706243482004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060107917000316036,0.12477021778305547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511023522423744,0.0,0.09581476456010317,0.0,0.17318141342695678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036737986768129935,0.0,0.28118498411794285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243572878279636,0.0,0.08437287756008544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04297363018697901,0.0,0.05812068389545636,0.0,0.06322283918838519,0.046653323659508916,0.0,0.0,0.06127420468301899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824775049010955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05792203800308711,0.15284273312064348,0.045339576347510124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137550854505693,0.07857531281268068,0.054348466052425486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071828161754037,0.09457613496384837,0.050201273072653416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605416874341533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177754135561317,0.0,0.08579865197215676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712296128108953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052581026746545766,0.0,0.053270762172401634,0.11317569653459054,0.0,0.05322300336368144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916113407725546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04750111727591249,0.0,0.0442330640496546,0.0,0.05629270986532088,0.0,0.10127285672959407,0.0,0.0628373363040655,0.0,0.04601131905762616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047128571460267416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884003822739885,0.046502710876337616,0.0,0.05814847668963503,0.0,0.2433669554573916,0.06311949631155384,0.0,0.0,0.04182102706172273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390593334002064,0.21384303987663014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314946554630049,0.0,0.03776387226394416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04589420050786802,0.09842237331761704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001110344487529,0.0,0.0501904499429861,0.062100281482477426,0.0,0.0,0.060319982443219636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03951246689885786,0.0,0.3379357496283619,0.035818920200980695
mentalhealth,neo_redditor,2019/02/27,"Varying food and mental health Ok so I have developed a meal program of oatmeal, shakers and vitamin pills, which has all the necessary per day nutrients.

I eat all the time except on Sunday where I take a random meal.

Some people told me that not varying my food enough is bad for mental health. Is that true?",3.124971751412432,5.706308983050849,3.8450000000000015,85.01009887005651,77.81355932203391,6.6451977401129945,25.08757062146893,7.793537801064563,1.6208282485875705,246,9,44,4,6,78,46,59,0.057,0.8029999999999999,0.139,0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,1,4,9,0,0,3,9,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,4,5,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,3,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18690190190639094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443620296132512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290501475356349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312925602319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5413504857101432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4758752585891141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511678562206853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551865003379766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683041917074291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305262923518215,0.0,0.0,0.2138942648455242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ghostgirl_lost,2019/02/27,"Going to the doctors again to ask for a sick leave from school (f21) Ive been on it my sick leave since november so its soon been four months. Ive been absolutely so defeated about myself and my future. Nothings has been going as i planned them when i was growing up, im basically broke and i just feel like im too far down to get better. Im trying tho. I feel like im really not that good at anything and learning anything is hard cause of my add. I have no energy to do anything i just lay around and try to go for a walk so i do at least something. Mom and dad are supportive as hell and most of my siblings but one of them has said my worst fear out loud ""what if you are just lazy"" and honestly that scares the shit out of me. I just feel like everyone else knows what to do or they at least have a lead but im just trying to handle my normal day without job or school and its hard as hell. 
I feel so absolutely defeated and i dont know what to do",1.2573678532901835,2.7927804757281582,3.1937216828478974,92.54898597626757,79.19417475728156,6.713700107874867,21.153182308522112,7.594959193182576,0.5372004314994601,742,20,176,11,18,250,112,206,0.212,0.69,0.098,-0.9779,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,3,5,16,16,3,2,5,0,19,4,1,2,0,36,32,23,0,2,12,2,6,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,8,13,0,0,7,0,0,6,4,9,0,2,6,8,24,7,29,26,4,22,2,3,0,0,8,10,3,4,9,119,32,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26235872399726834,0.09460472667983402,0.09935009584583472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398906285197084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917075149227233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853673216146476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877402816758854,0.0,0.0,0.12455014485998787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877672805424341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154757438548423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958569163540125,0.2149375281472045,0.22776249267008974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055522801692780926,0.0,0.18119070152505784,0.08913602057798703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903979089722459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.573960683823275,0.0,0.10545869094390617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680876675855563,0.0,0.0,0.2250536823236979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575758408298215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446463422032075,0.08482540025269983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412412366818401,0.10197097488851026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201274561702722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808064771693338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108913168140002,0.0,0.10639694143034648,0.2151061382707374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908681425025732,0.08790940410319444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818134776431178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059635371663595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21645540110649636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244254096841132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lazyhazydazy,2019/02/27,"i’m depressed and don’t know how to love anymore I’m 22, and have been depressed since i was around 14. i’ve had a few stupid relationships and then one serious one, which ended over two years ago. i’ve been single ever since and never wanted a relationship again, but recently started talking to someone who is so amazing. he makes me feel like i can feel again but then when we’re not together i freak out and think i can’t be with him because i just never saw myself having a future with anyone. part of me wants to be with him but the other part knows i’ll never fully be able to commit and i’m not sure what to do. ranting/need advice",3.948964076858815,4.655427488721807,5.1673182957393475,84.33630743525481,71.10526315789474,7.414870509607352,25.304093567251464,7.3871296695380915,1.13155873015873,508,14,104,5,9,169,88,133,0.076,0.7859999999999999,0.139,0.9093,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,1,0,4,0,14,1,0,2,6,32,28,14,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,11,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,5,0,3,5,3,10,4,12,20,4,18,0,2,1,1,8,3,0,0,16,74,14,0,0.15749450178830834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390180437467008,0.1396093731608655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619222573893388,0.11012381757994867,0.0,0.0,0.14020349736500234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600718647903776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27129956722263165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394933817396796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246279359791736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926790456892834,0.11251410354645694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310971869160588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694385821919851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214493685983712,0.0,0.10512880290854487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36440840702160143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21344470080300174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411023954191577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555068202376868,0.33818030849746183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605621587651264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13344458027625772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147541898551667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843670406461235,0.0,0.0,0.12658811475174606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091611739669043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384924340101275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857886753931615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142129549159724
mentalhealth,faeriefawn,2019/02/27,"My mom has severe depression. How can I help her through it? TL;DR My mom has been suffering from severe depression for the last several months. My dad and I have been struggling to find ways to help her through it. Does anyone have any helpful tips or advice? How do I help her and continue to keep up with my day to day responsibilities? I know it’s really long but below provides a lot of context and I am desperate. Thanks!

My mom has dealt with severe depression before, but I have never seen her quite like this. Typically she is herself throughout the spring and summer but then gets seasonal depression in the fall/winter. She is usually able to manage this well with medication but this time is different. Here is some of the backstory that I think most directly has contributed to what is happening right now...

I think it really started when she fell and dislocated her shoulder while hiking last fall. She was alone on the trail screaming for help hoping someone would find her. A couple found her and called my dad. This was obviously very traumatic for her and it broke my heart to think of her scared and all alone like that. Afterwards she had a sling for awhile and was unable to work or do things for herself for several weeks. That’s when I noticed her falling into depression. We would be together and everything would be fine one moment and the next we’d look over and she would just be in tears. She was very upset being out of work and having to make us help her do basic things like changing clothes or doing her hair. She said she just felt useless. 

On top of this a situation that had been brewing for years boiled over. When I was a little girl we joined a local church. My parents quickly became friends with the pastor. Long story short this man, I’ll call him Josh, is not a good person. He is a master manipulator, a narcissist, a liar, and a cheater. He hid behind this spiritual, wise and kind facade. But really it was just all “fake deep.” I know my mom is not innocent in this. She chose to be his friend and to continue a friendship with him even after we found out who he really was. However, I 100% believe she was manipulated by him. Basically, before we knew about his affairs and he left the church, he became my mom’s counselor. She now realizes this was a huge mistake. They formed an emotional bond that was inappropriate. It caused a lot of tension between my parents for as long as I can remember. This started when I was in middle school. I am 22 now. My mom did not have a physical affair with Josh, but she became extremely emotionally dependent on him. My grandfather has always been emotionally unavailable. He is a gruff old country man who is set in his ways. My mother has struggled to have a healthy relationship with him because their views are so different. I love my grandfather because he is family but he is a very racist, homophobic, judgmental, and closed minded man. He voted for Trump if that gives you any insight. So my mom saw Josh as the father figure she never had. My dad truly tried everything to just let it go because he didn’t want to be controlling and he wanted my mom to be happy. This came to a halt one weekend when I found my dad laying on the living room floor in obvious distress. I asked if everything was okay and we ended up having a long talk. I confessed that I knew about the situation for a long time but I had been unsure what to do. I didn’t know if it was my place to say anything to either of them and I didn’t want to inadvertently make things worse. It felt so freeing to finally admit and have a talk about it. My dad told me that every counselor or friend that he’s ever talked has told him to shut it down but he could never bring himself to do it. I do feel sort of guilty and that I have contributed to my mom’s pain because I expressed that it has impacted me negatively as well and I think this probably contributed to my dad saying okay enough is enough. It was the right decision but the aftermath has been very difficult. He basically told my mom that she needed to choose between my dad or Josh. So my mom cut ties with Josh. Ever since then it has been very dark at my house. At first she was grieving. She would come home from work and isolate herself in her room and just sob. Eventually it got a little better. She started taking a new medication and she even said she felt a lot better. She actually thanked my dad for putting his foot down. She knows the relationship was toxic. Then things got bad again. She started seeing a new woman counselor that she really likes. But she is opening up a lot of patched up wounds that she never properly dealt with. She now harbors a lot of guilt. She says she wishes she would’ve seen a different counselor before and not Josh. She feels stupid and crazy for trusting him. She didn’t know that I knew about it and also feels guilty that it has hurt me. She asked me if she ruined my teen years. She has also been telling my dad he would be better off without her and that he would be happier with someone else. It is very scary because I feel like I am losing my mom and it is so hard to see her in pain. We have had several talks but sometimes I don’t know what to say. I have social anxiety and often have a hard time expressing my emotions. Her personality by nature is very melodramatic and it is hard to tell what is real and what is being exaggerated. It is hard not to feel like she is just wallowing in it. At one point she asked if I loved her and I told her of course I did and she doesn’t need to feel guilty and that I am okay. She asked what it would take for me not to love her and it was so dramatic I seriously thought she was about to tell me there’s a dead body hidden somewhere. 

While I have experienced major depression also, this more intense than anything I’ve ever felt and I am not sure how to handle it. I try to be there for her and remind her that I love her. I try to do little things around the house like dishes, laundry etc. so that she doesn’t have to. Yesterday she came home and I could tell she was upset. She left to take our dog for a walk. When my dad came home we talked about it and I expressed to him that I had thought about doing something nice for her but I didn’t know what. Just a little something to let her know I was there for her. So my dad and I decided we should probably take care of dinner anyway so we go to the grocery store and we also got her flowers and a funny lighthearted card. I knew it wasn’t going to solve anything. I just thought it was something nice to do because I want so desperately to help. I thought maybe it might make her smile for just a moment. When we got home we gave her the card and flowers and she didn’t respond at all like we thought. She seemed confused and just said “thank youuuu?” sort of like what is this for? It was extremely awkward and I felt embarrassed but I guess it was not the right time or something? My dad ended up saying something to her and she apologized to me later. I wish he had not said anything though because I know it just made her feel worse. She didn’t really eat what we made either and she ended the night by crying in their room. She is off work today and I heard her crying on the phone to someone. I guess her counselor or hiking friend. I have actually had a hard time looking her in the eye after last night. 

I really don’t know what to do anymore. I am scared for her and my family. I work full time and it has started to hurt my productivity. I spend all day worrying about her and distracted. The mood of the house is so bleak all the time. I keep hoping for one good day. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be here for this since I am 22. I am so incredibly grateful they have continued to help support me while I start my own life and I feel guilty for thinking I shouldn’t have to deal with this everyday. I am trying to save money for school and do not have the resources to live on my own at this time. Does anyone have any advice? How do I help her through this? And how do I do so without it impacting my work and day to day life?",2.818646220570013,4.834759642503098,3.9735672242874855,86.53735207558863,76.180916976456,7.234262701363074,23.90969640644362,8.144726394080802,1.33928116480793,6389,205,1302,111,144,2078,494,1614,0.146,0.72,0.134,-0.9704,8,2,5,0,0,0,133.0,17,1,5,15,70,85,3,13,62,3,166,21,6,15,15,273,283,126,2,29,51,28,20,10,4,12,7,11,7,7,92,95,4,4,53,1,4,13,31,39,2,5,88,41,247,46,170,166,24,166,4,15,9,4,241,63,1,30,97,932,339,9,0.02808030241810301,0.0,0.0548046490554946,0.0,0.0,0.054879493067525986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058165449458076335,0.0,0.08982323079449257,0.023365061077987796,0.0,0.0,0.05728670567672928,0.0,0.02148135449068121,0.0,0.027848114596413592,0.03926880070057818,0.0,0.0924307851730915,0.02499742252194125,0.10500516879493606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02344587960410044,0.1198224420549204,0.0,0.07168280743742042,0.03163688497765759,0.0,0.07450423670172153,0.0,0.031190885735470363,0.0,0.0,0.05734625666981395,0.0963491558651703,0.028629739769309062,0.028846205658685037,0.029705236643125073,0.024188694133297287,0.0,0.0,0.03149444687848143,0.0448396731317036,0.031070320529743036,0.061689787313730676,0.10865683220530564,0.028949558791122675,0.14511313995745154,0.0,0.0,0.08801381831761898,0.0,0.0,0.049146523751801334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028733159628903195,0.02345748948461833,0.1263462428599522,0.07461243980134051,0.05802891747176859,0.031316959888906024,0.03709354983103523,0.07620072349448101,0.023658865880764317,0.0,0.07571029555511627,0.0,0.05294322007374146,0.0,0.1277842015914924,0.060181720974607535,0.13480746950418207,0.030760598744693182,0.05132977538515047,0.023885090892009284,0.0,0.09236580668521888,0.0867790879680981,0.0,0.014670799041716916,0.026937184784325118,0.047876048925093326,0.04710485081476058,0.08983353211280429,0.0,0.06186723782965513,0.0,0.02483131869170564,0.029892004075172424,0.12577217716564332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033275293566836874,0.16939471323134853,0.0,0.11266733141308302,0.05578015247854451,0.0,0.09720269657076087,0.06012108901841549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0499181260023418,0.0,0.029241313855097706,0.15432199845638955,0.06866758289637771,0.0,0.0,0.06101866147824985,0.057428023442411824,0.03966789606221411,0.13718617370623207,0.1125753599322991,0.04959084298034755,0.12425092002218005,0.047160763652652385,0.03141467574267233,0.0,0.11936434477377045,0.1013742770421638,0.05314052220263468,0.05623145973361655,0.0,0.02821043802815635,0.0,0.0,0.056575900977188676,0.0,0.029788763372212188,0.02835310064787744,0.39464772974910106,0.022413429488418023,0.0,0.0,0.04164237687760678,0.08662904128229801,0.0542402621096872,0.029863720185737918,0.052702923215072514,0.0,0.0,0.031969610418001566,0.029465553772504163,0.0,0.07611175856978061,0.0,0.059758843162775216,0.0,0.06235970551111285,0.030408231113310986,0.0,0.0,0.04903727392746412,0.029337939439206324,0.0,0.02654496214095721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055063070230425,0.0,0.0,0.028228459761763424,0.0,0.02986685809439821,0.0,0.03196153171235863,0.12592272536391866,0.0,0.0,0.060295472074448325,0.03180950871189945,0.07194127451068265,0.10684319169666867,0.1116529177184384,0.0562265627377694,0.056837530365836615,0.04475273091643655,0.02556325269903806,0.0,0.1903364939528792,0.0,0.04645663266818673,0.06312687287299773,0.0,0.028624332079388082,0.07137704734449933,0.10808794340454184,0.027772137102977525,0.0,0.11925229548034012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871125794941216,0.0,0.0,0.031865194417424615,0.026465352712333218,0.0,0.08445157112663687,0.11284941710360186,0.0981736880114058,0.0775577092769361,0.0,0.0,0.09327652595866408,0.08996361978301827,0.027588754554303572,0.11146311759878176,0.13099080124644907,0.0,0.026616843348780516,0.1073277292616839,0.0,0.07625872840972588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033777146372532985,0.0,0.030926485958296463,0.1621843321147435,0.06624995960698399,0.044577674057997466,0.022524324822070948,0.0,0.05049512836524897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458192395127348,0.05413681896624548,0.0,0.12265676757100012,0.02851691015589965,0.0572324542627937,0.1795269705712658,0.0,0.0,0.03616558821675965
mentalhealth,boston_throwaway_405,2019/02/27,"I feel like the worst person in the world obsessing about a disturbing thought. Please help... I'm a mess. These past few days have been really terrible, and while I think I look great on the outside, I'm falling apart on the inside.

The problem started this past Saturday. I saw something about schizophrenia and it triggered some worries about 'what if' I developed the disease in the future. I have no reason to think I will, but my mind jumped to the worst possible thought. I tried to suppress the worry and forget about it, however, that night when I was trying to go to sleep it came back with a vengeance. I started worrying about all the terrible things that would happen if I were to develop the disease, but eventually my mind thought up a scenario so disturbing that I was immediately thrown into a mini panic attack. If I hurt or even killed someone I love.

Ever since I've been unable to shake this thought from my head. It's hard to reconcile because the thought is the last thing I'd ever do. I have no urge or desire to hurt anyone ever, it's just who I am... But each time I find myself thinking it I feel physically sick and grow more and more depressed. At this point it's hard to walk back and think to myself 'I'm only thinking this because I thought it could be the worst case scenario of a worst case scenario', and instead I feel ashamed and guilty that I ever came up with the scenario at all.

I suffered from OCD for years as a child and young adult, and was able to get over it through the use of medication. However, I've been off medication for years at this point and have only suffered from anxiety in recent years. While this started as anxiety it's quickly dragging back the OCD and depression I thought I left in my past.

Please help. I love this person more then anything in the world and this is tearing me apart inside.",5.3483588672237685,6.313864805013927,5.527872562674093,82.07290448003715,68.08077994428969,8.434586815227487,31.94997678737233,8.59863814320734,2.456116898792944,1471,61,281,22,24,465,167,359,0.284,0.65,0.066,-0.9982,2,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,0,18,26,2,6,25,0,19,7,2,3,6,63,50,28,1,7,9,0,5,1,0,2,3,0,0,4,27,19,0,1,18,0,0,8,2,22,0,0,17,7,32,4,44,29,12,59,0,6,2,2,9,22,0,6,30,198,59,0,0.0782313388940495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969352025071404,0.0,0.0,0.054701171123949656,0.0,0.06437772616773425,0.0,0.0,0.08899944183475703,0.0,0.18046521203148505,0.0,0.09537819614555423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895162125662364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624613583649162,0.0,0.0,0.05045274166947159,0.0,0.13476107511188204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167106152219048,0.2830588994333783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866834660067405,0.0558884841372696,0.0,0.0,0.07150202646895894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04087264569270218,0.0,0.04446067273540062,0.0,0.0,0.08625032731157732,0.0,0.0,0.06917971462104369,0.0,0.14015982689623155,0.0,0.08028792344711214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487363482966366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749653261023245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655138554910871,0.0,0.0,0.06376898259636181,0.0,0.0,0.08499857861019308,0.0,0.0,0.03821988056606981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569462160482788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121367541454954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761968716295746,0.0,0.0,0.15798270207027493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734148120158305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899691693613575,0.0,0.09178762030857167,0.0,0.0,0.22404199510463596,0.0,0.13661717519775005,0.0,0.17174903535101224,0.1479078037165404,0.08819408012837635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485682594850915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050116998923447516,0.08043484579417656,0.07724400925882748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647137719535075,0.0,0.07828783663139724,0.0,0.06628515957463788,0.06022630671805136,0.0,0.0,0.16611763297109927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394685077789588,0.2506374156014584,0.0,0.4347486118956599,0.045617322828882485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062278877382114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756675883536355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383431662593959,0.0,0.055573298583566494,0.0,0.0,0.15113525199771166
mentalhealth,lia233,2019/02/27,Kinda just need to say this My anxiety is getting worse and worse my brain is driving me insane. Everything is just getting worse voices are louder and louder hallucinations are showing up are becoming more and more common and having way more suicidal ideation ,6.698333333333334,9.661837000000002,6.628611111111113,67.57625000000003,67.8888888888889,8.944444444444445,33.47222222222222,9.516144504307137,3.930888888888889,215,10,29,5,4,68,30,45,0.322,0.6779999999999999,0.0,-0.9552,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,1,0,0,8,10,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,10,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,22,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388989806181608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654806164263197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683433683212177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21603787504647246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511770606864708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823858459197195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19115967446517268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262936498863108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908023058302518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7349026932713872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,century-city-lane,2019/02/27,"How do I know if a support animal would be good for me? I am better with cats but a calm dog could be okay too. I have anxiety that can vary from mild to severe, and even though I’ve made tons of progress, I’m wondering if when it gets bad, it would help to not be alone? 
Any insight?",2.880967741935482,2.964654032258068,4.158225806451615,92.85733870967744,73.19354838709677,8.135483870967743,23.56451612903225,8.07648339933343,0.798051612903226,218,5,55,3,4,72,51,62,0.136,0.585,0.279,0.8294,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,2,1,10,0,0,2,0,14,16,7,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,5,6,9,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,36,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766007976861638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161467142009266,0.0,0.20430547147355224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22298973226785476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361989977979216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132312132334763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763951893756266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953144883913055,0.0,0.0,0.22400307109535106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790093345415811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677300105564076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527051878332407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017096148238334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030643887876128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623919040594148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896226947154462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794333709852873,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_Wanna_Name,2019/02/27,"Helping friends Hi all,

I have 2 friends, let's call them R and M. R tried to kill himself recently, and after a week in the hospital, his girlfriend broke up with him, and I'm really concerned for him. We're all in high school, and during gym me and M tried to console him, with M doing all the talking. I just sat on the side, trying to say something helpful, but nothing came up. 

I'm sure its some help with my presence being there, but as R was crying, I would agree with things M said with an 'mhmm', and he just sarcastically replies with 'thanks for your contribution to the conversation'. Is it better for me to remain silent in these cases of I have nothing to say? What even should I say? I don't have any experience with these kinds of situations so I'm lost as what to do.",4.654177215189876,5.027273911392406,5.583392405063293,83.17394936708862,69.37974683544303,8.345316455696205,29.09113924050633,8.238735603445708,1.8005574683544308,610,21,129,8,10,201,100,158,0.091,0.755,0.155,0.8588,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,1,2,5,9,1,0,6,0,12,0,0,0,4,25,20,11,1,2,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,0,0,7,14,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,5,4,16,6,28,11,4,12,0,2,0,0,22,8,0,1,3,86,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062642502275107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382019922136574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595620719428342,0.1787233300836307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716476515314207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321028800246453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285527294528506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414569299130529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142195380479969,0.1651005193228023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288194138801505,0.16272394733329096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978958244499158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057960667015842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998772718854796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010612788527323,0.0,0.15429093591670898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486419692419061,0.3728000101320221,0.0,0.1581465754862508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756462446866123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029895029397356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472760999132708,0.0,0.0,0.12559834141760204,0.0,0.14386604585337034,0.0,0.0,0.10381424427605827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31827711385353824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534481399253675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100480584463318,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blgshmoke,2019/02/27,"Everyone in My House (including the dog) is Depressed and Anxious The reason behind this post, I guess, is to see if anyone relates. Me, my younger sibling and my dog grew up in a single mother household that has always lacked being social and emotional. We never hug and the only time we really communicate is when something we all like is on TV. I left home and joined the military because I felt the environment to be toxic. I am now home again for good and I want things to change but I also developed anxiety, depression and some form of PTSD. I was able to quit drinking and smoking and I want to help my mother quit but she's stuck in her ways. 

Anytime someone feels upset, I immediately think it's my fault. Consequently, my mother feels like it's her fault for letting me join the military in the first place. My little sister is solemn and shy, she never talks about anything. Sometimes she cries about having to go to school and I don't understand why that makes her so emotional. And my dog finds comfort laying in her bed all day. She's never allowed in the room with my mother and sister. And she hardly got walked (especially in the winter season). 

It's so strange seeing everyone in such a terrible mood all the time & whenever something is suggested, we never agree. It's been like this for almost 10 years. They all make it seem like they're fine and I'm the one overreacting. I go to therapy and my therapist suggests I just go live my own life... but I don't want to leave them again. We're from NY but I want to live somewhere like Florida where the sun is always shining bright and I can get my daily dose of Vitamin D. Not to mention we hardly eat healthy and it's so easy to eat junk all day and watch TV. We need a complete 360 but no one has the energy and always feels criticized. 

Anyone ever been in this predicament and have a success story?",3.163112872595164,5.298484264305177,4.437735942531585,83.0543266451986,75.56675749318798,7.391264140037983,25.290149450912395,8.296473431620573,1.750924432334242,1483,52,280,27,33,488,195,367,0.12,0.73,0.15,0.858,1,0,3,0,0,0,38.0,6,0,2,4,14,19,0,1,17,0,21,7,0,4,10,67,45,32,0,7,8,6,6,5,0,0,3,0,4,0,12,28,3,0,9,3,0,5,8,7,0,3,6,11,46,11,33,36,10,40,0,3,5,1,29,16,0,5,22,187,58,2,0.0917531469405318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918775229463268,0.0,0.0,0.07337495845884433,0.2290379053376244,0.09941449637600633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701909062700998,0.1036549395478576,0.0,0.12831186741549394,0.0,0.07550502205727598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593186675302796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706266342996354,0.0,0.09620142889047527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078652351831163,0.11834637845636635,0.0,0.15805370202535354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988315321386124,0.0,0.1877727510368182,0.0,0.20641988134429184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299597437450812,0.0,0.17534812779281606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391794439001962,0.06554846650746153,0.08809740987778204,0.0,0.08386071405523646,0.0780451799154995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047937232304943296,0.0,0.15643628357521566,0.0769581864551467,0.07338337341783108,0.0,0.101076435696248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438559500798228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615002003209082,0.0,0.18407177495135688,0.0,0.0,0.1058708125560548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971533345014606,0.09969006261697247,0.09382380921259112,0.06480796114702161,0.2241297648233728,0.09196075765099693,0.16203941948813438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224918761153348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680337958565009,0.2830627332905003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434861391402235,0.06978240280342435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586250989100888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787415185661422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725451873570988,0.0,0.0,0.19518153177870648,0.0,0.0,0.05877941540370747,0.09433751651991032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285908317054817,0.14623075758324686,0.08352861896746047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353077855961706,0.07774214365249668,0.14127211033600812,0.09074620844607828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374770396336519,0.0,0.0,0.1049277198925442,0.10653247547114003,0.06095671381993475,0.05879171172979871,0.0,0.0,0.10700399568057233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955182618136152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164735332303641,0.07282937728394462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279294382475921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059086018384614025
mentalhealth,monchherie,2019/02/27,"Why is it that family members are usually the ones that dismiss/ doubt the fact that you could possibly be suffering from a mental illness? Hi guys
I noticed that most of the time, it's the hardest to talk about mental health with family members. This might not apply to everyone but it is for majority of the people I know(&me).
I've been starting to realize that I might have undiagnosed pure ocd and anxiety due to recent events but I know that my family would just say that ""it's all in my head"" or "" you'll be strong enough to get through it"" kind of replies. That's why I've been holding back talking to them about my symptoms. I mean I did realize there was something very wrong with my mind since I was 13-14 but I just tried to brush it off. But it seems as though it's getting harder to ""suppress"" as time goes by and I don't know what I should do. Therapy is really expensive and I don't want to add on to the burden of my parents but I don't know what other way I can get better. My anxiety is getting the better of me and I don't know how long more I can ""suppress "" it.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I thank you all for reading this post.",3.749662810730989,4.7529993933054415,5.099635737140044,83.54102633522028,71.80334728033472,8.636081713019937,28.28476495200591,9.007467420416297,2.151116465665764,921,34,192,18,17,308,129,239,0.08199999999999999,0.83,0.087,0.7321,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,1,3,8,10,0,1,8,0,28,4,1,1,4,43,41,15,0,5,9,1,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,1,22,8,0,3,8,1,1,0,5,4,0,1,5,2,27,6,29,26,6,14,0,1,0,0,10,3,0,6,9,137,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104818722176772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231294407551551,0.0,0.07727944096811268,0.0,0.17386935206002374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738253449188398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20101158529015656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907326970160871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174210207035348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858837342460136,0.0,0.0,0.3213904658870312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374898961508872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252890590335817,0.0,0.11252196745905303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662794442634747,0.12079454379135207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833909951011674,0.3122692506641088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056827173765984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378782587247544,0.0,0.0,0.2290458029992093,0.24110923677753876,0.11474451577710452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938046926697888,0.0,0.0,0.07700574789416513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618433344804472,0.0,0.0,0.0787840181751832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811259569716876,0.10883619159539257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367125871882655,0.0,0.07280101806480825,0.0,0.11220628996640013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903714915543969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345404860891186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400460087854558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087486013479275,0.0,0.0,0.08043533503994496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811599788997207,0.0,0.1826798681681492,0.0,0.10462490982656952,0.1299578224609977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165122014490987,0.0,0.1325293858240152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715444400440538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251589623316139,0.09376531883336668,0.06702811475334353,0.09020254411993972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050857620011231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16145390989125494,0.12424805370799953,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrunchyMold,2019/02/27,"Regression after a month on fluoxetine I've been on fluoxetine since January 28. Currently I'm at 60mg daily. I had a couple days with light spurts of anxiety and/or depression, but for the most part everything has gone really, really well since I started it. Today I'm feeling really quite down. Yesterday evening I started having some thoughts like before the meds, where the thoughts are too fast and too loud for no reason and really overwhelming and give you a headache. I try to use my therapy techniques to dismiss them. I feel bummed, though. Why does my mind work this way? I have been so hopeful since starting my meds and feeling calm and alive for once. I've had persistent depression for decades, increasingly worse during the past six years or so and the longest I've come out of it is about 5 weeks. So now I wonder if the meds aren't actually working and it's just like before, where I would have a lull in my depression and think, okay everything is better now and I'm over it, only to come crashing back down and feel that darkness and weight again. 

I started up with a new therapist yesterday and really liked her. I had a positive day, except for hurting my back which made it hard to get comfortable last night. 

I just feel that sad, hopeless, negativity creeping in. That ""go back to bed and hide in a cave of blankets"" feeling that accomplishes nothing. I don't want that life back, and the meds made me so hopeful and I lost all my daily suicidal ideation but now I feel it coming in, that I am hopeless and resisting the inevitable. 

I just need to vent, and hopefully (probably) I will make it through the day just fine.",5.366320069706654,6.690968996805115,5.830201858844031,78.60326386871915,68.29712460063898,9.780365959918676,32.11864652918966,10.018931242160765,3.2534485623003198,1308,56,244,32,22,421,173,313,0.156,0.669,0.175,0.7115,1,0,0,0,0,2,36.0,0,1,1,7,24,21,0,1,16,1,17,2,0,5,1,58,52,26,1,7,9,0,9,3,0,2,1,1,1,0,15,23,1,0,12,0,0,6,4,9,1,1,11,11,27,12,32,39,5,49,0,9,0,0,4,14,0,8,31,158,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.08050610691326725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311071236009277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25374335082168353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039937265313782,0.0,0.0,0.07296274006884107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21319405884880666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128242182024136,0.0,0.15961307482362694,0.0,0.21316611202281288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219451932940106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054489123458597036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828769100040834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919941258314289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04310177828014418,0.07913955898133404,0.04688549091818274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390196646535421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24581726166308684,0.0,0.0,0.08831577071787408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724684694217177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058270747764031315,0.12091300600683648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005626694062943,0.0,0.0,0.15612312588810354,0.055068027831235634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665465357432156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329942044768188,0.0,0.06584908330898805,0.0,0.0,0.061171190816978124,0.0,0.07967704228859254,0.0,0.07741874538231272,0.0,0.07915901605567166,0.0,0.0,0.08785763324128512,0.0,0.06274341485456908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893372495670098,0.07875363612005633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894675238316742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774673362021784,0.0,0.0,0.2642515231220219,0.08482164123858513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20472949106717012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335699182471763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023937651616526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943436051852152,0.09578648821822937,0.0,0.05286136061356689,0.08105382525134419,0.13098832769763274,0.0,0.0,0.07819841831888441,0.0,0.0,0.056010698437340765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125174818203156,0.0,0.0,0.04865943330572939,0.06548303940463096,0.06617488601883496,0.10046028823737756,0.07417557219745252,0.0,0.07444157570872563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946551674465386,0.12011899250503093,0.0,0.08407246759528704,0.05860418265688185,0.0,0.0,0.0531259804001563
mentalhealth,drummondbass__,2019/02/27,"I’m just exhausted. I have always been a little strange, I never made friends easily and I struggle to hold conversations with most people. I’ve spent the majority of my life mimicking other people, watching them and learning how to be social. I have an incredibly social job and I’m pretty good at it, regularly getting promoted and generally being seen as good. However, I struggle massively with thoughts of suicide and have done since I was a kid, this varies from almost comedic like thoughts of ways to creatively kill myself (strangle myself with fairy lights, stick my head into a boiling pot) to simple thoughts about grabbing a knife. These thoughts happen several to hundreds of times throughout the day and I’ve found myself hiding sharp objects and drugs on the off chance I do decide to act. It’s ruining my life. 

As I’ve spent most of my life struggling to make friends, my work is really all I have to focus on. If I take a day off due to this then I worry they’ll think I’m unreliable or flaky even though I regularly deal with employees suffering from poor mental health and I don’t think that about them. If I can’t work then what do I really have, what makes me a worthy individual and should I just kill my self to make this easier on everyone else?

I broke down this morning and told my partner. I’ve never told him before as how do you tell someone you can’t stop daydreaming about smashing mirrors for the shards? He has his own mental health issues and begged me to get help but I don’t know what it is to feel normal, or just not like this so I don’t even know what help would do. He asked me to stay home from work today and the stress of missing work is making me worse. If I can’t successfully manage that then what do I have?

Sorry, this was long and rambling. I’m just really exhausted. I have spoken with doctors in the past but they’ve just advised SSRIs and CBT and sent me on my way. I worry that if I tell them about my obsession with killing myself they’ll take that as an immediate threat and hospitalise me.

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mentalhealth,overthinkinoverdrive,2019/02/27,"Simulating breakdowns & conversations in my head Recently (I can't put my finger on a specific time frame) I've been imagining myself having breakdowns. I.e. thinking about sitting with friends and just randomly starting to laugh-cry while telling them about how I am unhappy with my existance. I actually teared up a bit while thinking about that.
I've not had something like a breakdown actually happen in the recent past. Closest thing I can think of was me punching a wall out of frustration at work a few months ago* and even that was kinda premeditated (actually doing it was mostly unexpected, however I stopped 'dissociating' because of the pain (I don't know if my state before was actual dissociation)).

Aside from breakdowns I have entire conversations with people I know in my head, weird as that sounds.
I'll imagine how I'd talk to my ex about the things that eventually lead to me ending the relationship, which I didn't manage to properly do before actually ending it, or telling my boss what I actually think about her and how much of a narcissistic bitch she actually is in my and most of my colleagues' eyes*.

Despite thinking about having conversations so often when actually doing things with people I either am pretty much mute preemptively or I think about how terrible I am at talking to people and become more quite at some point. This is very frustrating to me.

*My boss was born shortly after WWII and thinks, that she's the non plus ultra. Everyone else is either stupid or lazy to her. She's a self-proclaimed misanthrope and she oftentimes walks through the office screaming about how she hates all of us. In the 1.5 years I've worked there three people quit and one was fired.
It is very stressful just being there, despite me trying to stay out of her way and not being as much of a target. I currently can't really go somewhere else, as I'm a trainee and switching training business seldomly leaves a good impression with future employers. I also am not to keen on going to a therapist/psychologist, because I can already see my boss being mad about me spending time off work. And I really don't want to get shit for not only being stupid, but also insane/retarded/a stupid millenial who just needs to be properly beat into shape should I go to therapy.

Thanks for reading.
Just had to get this of my mind, because hey, let's not pretend I'm gonna <talk> to anyone about in the forseeable future.",5.513238095238094,7.507980800000006,6.206507936507936,73.465,68.77777777777777,9.142857142857146,31.3015873015873,9.606745405546679,3.2184920634920644,1960,83,328,45,35,640,235,450,0.1,0.87,0.03,-0.97,3,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,1,0,1,7,27,20,9,1,19,0,37,6,5,9,1,68,61,31,0,4,16,1,2,1,1,2,1,2,0,0,16,20,0,1,11,2,1,6,10,14,0,2,10,6,46,6,64,43,12,51,0,0,2,0,22,21,2,10,21,235,62,10,0.0,0.0,0.5696346181526172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467998985807075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051983696240804,0.11670182789384485,0.0,0.07905867130905006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05101955006986406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343825791576755,0.08058525593415883,0.1241774476753347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966001507589908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014976613751806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190752331849783,0.0,0.1292525037813089,0.0,0.0,0.04819337970883422,0.0,0.0,0.06972217586556789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05637337968842439,0.0,0.0762434862201197,0.0,0.12440484209873495,0.06120045053073825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452362611998863,0.0,0.0,0.07203885597409064,0.14976841066285326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020045213157044,0.0,0.0,0.07726049840738247,0.0,0.07461271709757912,0.0,0.03564752033893983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367489774746186,0.0,0.058240795115745626,0.0,0.16091529975826874,0.05410339236828098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049443675487639116,0.05549395960852208,0.07764100854792524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965433921632329,0.2023418529027068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897649028702177,0.0,0.0,0.07423269205424884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335102119323074,0.0,0.15521672521608113,0.07298578329619718,0.0,0.09348782424172462,0.0,0.14409031898230545,0.0783382176589649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05814448506242946,0.0,0.07611949057061898,0.0,0.07489858909774404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056172820581153735,0.0,0.0,0.051645737002911606,0.07777208769483106,0.0,0.06100287467841431,0.08358234960174032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594201147642638,0.127551066029052,0.06717732417193209,0.08344302310618383,0.08471919356868586,0.14542617961095924,0.3272758348072325,0.0,0.0,0.0850941666622686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0495391499479495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776915922187564,0.0,0.0,0.12040924536604065,0.04303725949090704,0.05791704439719737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936043329187236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046987735961182206
mentalhealth,Honcho_59,2019/02/27,"Feeling weird I was talkinging with my friends and we were having a good time. Then I started having this dread of pain all over. Not physically but mentally hurting, then after that a day has passed then I was talking to my family then I had a that same pain. I don't know what's going on. Anyone know what that may be?",2.246974358974364,4.263792492307697,3.5211538461538474,89.11301282051281,77.92307692307693,6.17948717948718,23.14102564102564,7.1686216300943375,0.8097179487179491,252,8,52,3,6,82,48,65,0.208,0.7120000000000001,0.08,-0.8591,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,1,3,0,10,2,0,0,1,11,15,6,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,4,1,8,2,6,9,2,12,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,8,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349585945725165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17846778068403832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608761583709937,0.0,0.1399228648069117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21380070068012488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727188113560026,0.23210776571726366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29624489629378864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30416684178531683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788784773648335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5889198810078273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958707251435428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22242487228686675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136332925875746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway02011989,2019/02/27,"Helping my sister Hello, my [27F] sister has struggled with GAD and MDD for years, managed fairly with a slew of meds. She just graduated from a masters program and got what we thought was an amazing job. It ended up not being a good fit, and she was fired last Friday. She’s already seen her therapist twice and is seeing her psychiatrist this week. 
I took food over to her house and sat to watch tv with her yesterday. Today I’m taking her to the grocery store. Her husband, my parents, and I are trying to do whatever we can to help her, but she’s struggling. 
Has anyone been in a similar situation, and could suggest anything we can do to make this a bit easier on her? Thanks!",4.8697159565580606,5.804872045112784,5.877092731829574,79.24758563074356,69.15037593984961,8.317126148705098,30.567251461988306,8.515128840125781,2.349002339181287,534,21,100,8,9,177,93,133,0.08,0.821,0.099,0.5767,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,0,0,1,1,5,0,2,7,0,13,1,0,1,0,19,23,8,0,1,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,13,1,0,1,1,1,1,1,2,0,1,8,4,20,3,16,13,1,12,0,0,3,0,23,5,0,0,6,71,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056068579324023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13027807530071173,0.0,0.1533240712226109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034113085729425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487599877891196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502269617596174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252968068739751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627493562297196,0.14901575108389425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497704347945185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149862825339841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18489214608501225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187426787835742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436890041202905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20695760950405973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068844035307488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847154851251074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094295560578647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3895606459924512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008816090909315,0.0,0.0,0.17153684195542748,0.0,0.21632988656393765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791590441999286,0.0,0.0,0.17660794626756304,0.0,0.20700646749289808,0.1264978836233279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945328774577235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998286530121036
mentalhealth,JannySmellsLikeElbow,2019/02/27,"Am I okay    Not sure if this is normal. Aside from slight depression, ADHD and my grandpas dementia theirs not much history of mental probloms in my family. Also I'm 20 years old of that matters.
 
   But yeah am I okay like is this normal. I'm becoming very paranoid like I'll just give an example. last night i was chillin in my room when I heard a car pull up and a door shut from outside i could tell it was at my house. I assumed instantly someone was here for me. I was like ahhh man what do I do i grabed what could be used as a weapon amd started to peer thru my blinds when I quickly thought ""nahhh they'll see that and start shooting"" ""do I check the front door"" so after quick contemplation I decide to rush tonthe front door swinging it open and meet my adversary head on. Well yeah it was just my little sister. Now mind you i was in no state of fear I knew in the back od my head i was trippin but I was just tryna be careful. 


  Another example I work in unfinished homes, construction shit. Well yeah I just got an overwhelming erge to scope the house out for any siral killers or what have you. I could be here all day givinf exapmles but ill leave you with these two.

   Like I said no real true fear I just wanna be sure I'm safe. Am I dangerously paranoid or just normally cautious.
",1.129491094147582,3.5228250534351164,2.633557251908396,91.73631552162851,84.72519083969465,5.936081424936387,21.71043256997456,7.3011,0.7915873791348607,1012,34,213,16,30,329,155,262,0.166,0.7190000000000001,0.115,-0.9517,0,0,0,1,0,0,21.0,0,3,2,1,18,20,3,3,8,5,25,5,3,1,4,41,39,15,1,8,14,2,0,4,0,1,2,2,5,1,11,7,0,1,4,1,1,5,4,7,2,1,13,4,36,13,24,18,2,33,0,2,2,0,13,13,1,4,18,138,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442902784146581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601292983156297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164575991861636,0.12589467792229295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231968221856576,0.0,0.0,0.13259820626807875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241043530734902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875773907474576,0.0,0.0,0.07742956704312158,0.0,0.1034085696327224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131830514007476,0.2702045468426218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517368100350407,0.0,0.0,0.09602394101144912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246434938740418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043121238895645,0.0,0.0,0.2770691012481193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786593453263892,0.0,0.12712751713001813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346234283209448,0.12033290317370215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099349068632925,0.0,0.1212276262580754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825882543770304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266934007627047,0.3529035698132545,0.0,0.0,0.1259840743551188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366559752734309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420573248832035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567326348083433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324113699514808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172749859407572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995992650502226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22631259467835696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493881521485864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531521317289568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172823853870721,0.0,0.0,0.1036943624868425,0.0,0.09906309639740317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589894612722726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740601226056717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731550185981173
mentalhealth,araf20_19,2019/02/27,"Bad housing lead to bad mental health help needed Been living in a rented flat since 2012 damp floors appeared a week or 2 after moving in and more damp and mold appeared later some has been treated but the floor hasn't. Add to this I can hear everything my neighbours do tv,music,toilet flushing,bath running,washing machine ect and my neighbours who have a owned house can be passive aggressive with comments like it's been a week since you did your garden we do ours every weekend(my garden is the front but I will get comments about the back too) they constantly look out the window when your going out coming back.

There's also mould in my childs room as well as mine and my partners  room and in the bathroom it is rotting plaster away. 

I've been diagnosed with a reactive depressive disorder I suffer social anxity so bad that I avoid going out if I know the neighbours are outside I get startled easy by knocking on my door and I can't deal with being in the flat anymore.

When asked by the housing what I want to do I said I just want a 2 bed house locally to have my own space for me and my family they said since I have 2 bedrooms I can't do this but sujjested homehunt and home swappers neither are suited to my needs it's all 2 bee flats mostly in undesirable estates or areas. 

Any advice? I need to move it's affecting my family life and my motivation to do anything and I know moving isn't a instant fix but it will at least give me a quiet space to work through things.

Ive been offered anti depressants but I'd rather not go down that route as it won't fix the main issues.",3.515085604051124,5.270233285266457,4.5091065830721035,84.58737340245966,73.51410658307209,6.913961900168798,26.689293465155536,7.61054688173877,1.5262899927658549,1274,46,243,16,26,414,183,319,0.122,0.816,0.063,-0.9661,1,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,3,2,3,12,12,1,2,17,0,31,3,0,3,1,46,52,25,0,7,11,0,0,1,4,3,3,4,10,2,13,19,0,1,3,2,1,11,7,9,1,0,8,5,35,3,33,39,9,41,0,3,1,0,24,21,0,7,10,167,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003845301754252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215147697382337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985850528393711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187848843984967,0.0,0.0,0.08453632153571143,0.0,0.0960367338169553,0.0,0.09651625828251237,0.15798285212865135,0.25732055568128903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849100311988634,0.0,0.11101238198011676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590797019414626,0.17695880631872835,0.10426667190688584,0.0,0.0,0.11773509118257415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655269949383987,0.0,0.09232522658802504,0.0,0.19368547251474336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734219190317472,0.09854597729231504,0.17514792536759202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109194970486405,0.11578182689484165,0.0,0.06885635640097082,0.0,0.10304447524783897,0.0,0.0,0.4741368882560696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722125431394104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291315167008505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255976479872532,0.05018767056437462,0.0,0.09071063151877416,0.0,0.08626557639955988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035255770398636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275505504242739,0.0,0.2285143432230502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543554434287494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549327799834105,0.0,0.0,0.1047181731011664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824786244461176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118317239382967,0.0,0.16480427484999666,0.0,0.09236473323207056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478714602496386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CtrlAltDeadd,2019/02/27,"Weird voices?? Not sure if this is the right sub to post in but as far as I can remember, I'll start randomly hearing strange voices in my head. They're not saying anything, it's just my thoughts but said in a different voice?? As in nothing new is added to my mind by the voices, they're not intrusive, it's what I'm already thinking but not in my voice. They speak slowly and there are multiple ones at a time. Super creepy and in a super deep tone. When it happens it feels like my head is full and foggy and a lot of pressure builds up. 

It might be normal, I've just never talked to anybody about it so I wouldn't know.

What do you guys think it is??

​

​",2.2867745803357344,4.022173115107915,3.2742625899280604,92.21892386091127,76.84172661870504,6.072182254196644,23.813549160671464,6.816661863887847,0.6621649880095921,529,17,114,5,12,169,89,139,0.056,0.838,0.106,0.9017,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,1,2,6,6,0,1,6,0,10,2,2,0,2,28,20,13,0,3,10,0,1,1,0,2,0,9,0,1,10,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,2,10,9,4,17,15,2,18,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,4,6,73,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665578497342978,0.0,0.0,0.32707076399654456,0.3667991981375098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242046489701348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15769241655709795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631604495733281,0.10782626176725096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944697887652014,0.1334691776465276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30980073208263115,0.0,0.17011198151695986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294859601485069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373803226632739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831747790014308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011561044175315,0.1523988747510813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640850656994653,0.14577162149528186,0.0,0.0,0.1478818775204634,0.14482387642617575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227581901372117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455168527226905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097718497469178,0.1288955944036812,0.14357144207617145,0.12002764166280988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683085345992437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225216576275931,0.0,0.0,0.12131388659385887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934229993923784,0.0,0.11982360525054922,0.08800999827419152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667991981375098,0.0
mentalhealth,eggz1985,2019/02/27,"need help uk? Hello, so I need advice on what to do .please none judgemental.  I have suffered with severe anxiety and I’m always depressed since I was a child. I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child and sexually assaulted as a 22 year old women. I was put on to antidepressants for this on and off but no diagnosis has been made and I haven’t had therapy of any kind. I continually loose jobs and can not go out alone, I felt after the rape that I was suffering from PTSD but I didn’t go to the doctor I just locked myself away trying new job after new job to find somewhere safe . I have terrible sensory overload daily over basically nothing. I honestly don’t know where to go to get a diagnosis or what to say to who? I can’t work I’ve been trying for years but I just can’t function, will I be entitled to benefits? What am I supposed to do? ",1.1270917293233076,3.39749484,3.915248120300753,83.39717293233083,83.45714285714286,7.5699248120300755,22.92481203007519,8.532816995589336,1.7448285714285716,667,24,138,17,19,236,107,175,0.213,0.67,0.117,-0.9569,3,1,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,11,3,0,7,0,21,2,0,1,0,21,31,12,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,6,7,0,1,3,0,0,4,8,7,0,0,10,2,18,4,27,19,1,20,0,3,0,1,7,8,0,1,8,95,24,5,0.0,0.17894243789972314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758195113324793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641854615899795,0.0,0.0,0.1256666601491404,0.0,0.0,0.10270361872530503,0.0,0.11553533137847577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189494824074714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007943485460374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15458265415473524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500971685203576,0.0,0.13803604915320278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890543539082194,0.0,0.2574965736007165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123029323166864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4496133302522256,0.0,0.0,0.15727150202080178,0.08300055398453689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290551010109862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22396938768590227,0.0,0.29172586205477063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491459230254622,0.0,0.15847755414275133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657824222367992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17654261816032196,0.15182396688691688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010282548588393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061765442369142,0.0,0.12493119212700235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271267081127747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507499797419587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994954014092984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945130238846648
mentalhealth,alskm,2019/02/27,How do I help my friend with OCD I don’t mind anything she do but I also want to help her get better. Her parents are very strict and old fashioned. They believed that it is just in her head and that she can just fix it by changing how she think. She used to go to a psychiatrist for a few months but her parents stopped taking her there because they think it’s a waste of time and money. Is there anything I can do to help? Thank you. ,1.7265217391304368,3.3562731739130456,2.618913043478262,96.76902173913048,78.13043478260869,5.034782608695653,22.369565217391305,5.148860815047168,-0.14002608695652174,340,10,79,1,8,107,57,92,0.061,0.743,0.197,0.9109,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,2,1,7,3,0,0,3,0,9,1,1,3,0,16,17,8,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,17,3,9,17,1,6,0,0,0,0,18,1,0,0,4,56,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546530726918189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182852545360121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178881083741523,0.0,0.0,0.2178831212779038,0.0,0.17103680985515235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045798656433356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941182231983238,0.0,0.10103774404804987,0.0,0.1099073963994849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984728544461989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888736082675519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952677095557557,0.0,0.15436121409954018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292917051312248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4294710837785574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616818207960274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454044221396108,0.0,0.0,0.1780465616674655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478316597051257,0.0,0.0,0.11276665138818852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702596001958106,0.0,0.15956613630165334,0.11406581268903955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imscrewed1738,2019/02/27,"Drug-Induced Psychosis or something worse? I don’t want to say I suffer from depression as I’ve never sought help or received professional advice so I’ll just start off by saying I’m not happy with my life. Lately I’ve been having small periods of time where I don’t really feel connected to reality or just don’t care about my wellbeing (life isn’t real, I’m a character in a game) but I brush them off. They sometimes happen during or right after I smoke weed but have never previously lasted longer than the high. After staying up all night cleaning my apartment for building inspections (I’m in college and live on campus) I chose to smoke a joint once I finished and then take a nap as a reward for myself. I was thinking and feeling pretty normal initially and I went back to my room and started to relax I just started thinking about how much I hate my life. This was completely out of the blue and I don’t recall anything triggering those thoughts. I remember clearly saying “I don’t like this part of the game, I don’t want to be here”. I ate some food and felt immediately better, like a wave just rushed past me and took all my problems with it. I started chasing that feeling and started to try to find stuff to do so I could focus on that. I started talking aloud to myself and was instructing myself on what I could do to immediately make myself feel better. I told myself (aloud) that if I wanted to leave this part of the game i needed to do stuff that made me feel better. Every single time I did something to help myself, I felt so much better. Time felt like it was moving so fast and everything was so loud and my heart was beating so hard but I felt amazing. I remember thinking to myself “wow this feels like a game” and then everything went silent. Like i couldn’t even hear the electric buzzing from the lights in the room silent. The first thought that came into my mind was “I’m crazy” and i started to cry. That was the first time I’ve cried in years. I went to lay down and started praying that I was just having a bad trip. I tried to focus on something in the room to try to calm myself down and chose the smoke detector in the room. I started listing off everything I knew about it. The light on the smoke detector would blink and I would say something about it. *Blink* “It has a Red, Square base and a White, Round top with a Green, Flashing light”. *Blink* “It’s supposed to warn me if there’s a fire and I’m in danger”. *Blink* “It’s old and don’t go off when I smoke in the room.” *Blink*. “This is fucking stupid and I’m overreacting to strong weed.” *Blink* I don’t know if I experienced a visual hallucination, or maybe I just didn’t see it correctly but in that moment I was SURE that I had seen the light blink twice in rapid succession. I then started talking TO the smoke detector ALOUD and took it’s blinking as answers. I would ask a yes or no question and if I saw a blink as soon as I looked up I took it as a yes, if I had to wait for the blink it was a maybe, and if I didn’t see a blink it was a no. I asked if the smoke detector was answering my questions and got a “yes” blink. I asked if the sky was blue and received a “Yes” blink. I asked if I was crazy for talking to a smoke detector and got a “maybe” blink. I asked if I was in a game and got a “yes” blink. To save time I’m just going to do a short summary because this is spread across a whole day and I don’t want to have to include every single detail. Basically I had a pretty in-depth yes or no conversation with my smoke detector. I found out that I’m a character in a video game and that our universe is actually a free-to-play game. The smoke detector was being controlled by a player, who was using the light to talk to me while they were controlling me. It had been about 20 minutes since I had smoked at this point yet my mind felt so clear. I started questioning the smoke detector and found out that the player in charge of our planet was a mid 50’s Italian man with no wife, kids, or surviving parents. I found out that some other people were aware of simulation but not everyone was and that I was not allowed to tell anyone else that I knew or I would die. Everything he was telling me made perfect sense and I didn’t doubt anything, despite the fact THAT I WAS TALKING ALOUD TO A BROKEN SMOKE DETECTOR. I asked him why I was made and immediately I felt like I was about to die. I can only describe the feeling as doom. The feeling you get when you know you’re screwed and you can’t do anything to protect yourself. My leg cramped up, I couldn’t breathe and I swear the room got darker. I asked him if I was supposed to ask that question and got no blink. 

It’s late so I’m just going to TLDR:

I got high and I had an existential crisis. Then I thought the blinking light on my smoke detector was a player in a game from the future communicating with me. It’s been almost 24 hours since the start of all this yet I’m still not convinced that real life isn’t a video game and that I just had a bad trip. Could all of this just be due to me smoking or is it possibly an underlying issue I should check out.",2.1303028324628386,4.0434805085877885,3.529873041382082,89.4035962233829,77.88358778625954,6.435532342306148,23.626998794696668,7.396084526263063,0.9170086259541989,4015,132,854,53,95,1316,354,1048,0.112,0.757,0.131,0.9646,2,0,19,0,0,1,87.0,2,3,3,15,36,35,5,1,71,6,83,12,3,10,12,177,181,88,2,28,40,2,17,6,0,5,5,6,7,2,50,52,2,4,36,13,1,16,28,12,0,3,77,42,118,23,115,91,13,122,2,3,12,2,55,55,2,29,56,564,168,5,0.0,0.0,0.04261693142701623,0.0,0.0,0.042675131272894906,0.0,0.0,0.04373054203657135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030536018668473237,0.04474645208631831,0.10781338357293928,0.0,0.3266144865545782,0.0,0.0,0.033580567352732474,0.07292749506139569,0.02662164555367982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449501705956062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04994838259553568,0.04452584507151909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0457885726036691,0.0,0.09796224999765654,0.10460404224805717,0.0,0.09594184000829377,0.02816440361036647,0.0,0.03761406402136669,0.0,0.0906479191296404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064489353360694,0.0,0.036481803571213896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028844510397888382,0.0,0.0735899805770525,0.04172984004998357,0.15699594977666276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665234693392753,0.031198816403788725,0.2515880290911189,0.0,0.03991481663422471,0.07429364466084515,0.05280756170807145,0.14365012156976345,0.0,0.040373453201673334,0.02281647442381356,0.0,0.07445829246971948,0.0,0.2095677763042373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038618424683469765,0.04648895704442045,0.03912094570128352,0.043116410236232965,0.0,0.0,0.04922077787402497,0.0517507521201633,0.05854396176880292,0.09228234391109592,0.0,0.0,0.043007476261823836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045581536269540084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800125638419128,0.03559797355379637,0.09852635494125364,0.046241646946567516,0.0,0.0,0.1233854452475796,0.12801367456953894,0.0,0.038562596260061525,0.0,0.03667292949172354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396864297474025,0.029150960789013594,0.0,0.1316212026196521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819121493363442,0.0,0.0,0.04641572665109988,0.06420692447937867,0.03238174772461224,0.06736406446426671,0.0,0.0,0.04098259734107109,0.04278864416321438,0.0,0.0,0.04582572851840832,0.046508555372297464,0.0,0.033214024511640405,0.0,0.0,0.04849185861741375,0.0945836181788604,0.041689238727845225,0.03027621073289378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041283535276301415,0.049232877869223785,0.0,0.08885891260411137,0.0,0.04178757762693547,0.0,0.0,0.19568759676229672,0.0,0.0,0.09941509917589234,0.02797698080844575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989422375557522,0.03729508859110838,0.0,0.13891682023442256,0.0,0.0,0.06960081297870371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722507729862637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448133474937,0.04319207523072807,0.0,0.3709296190440913,0.04654784133696745,0.03487599119914225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998647968026064,0.0,0.0,0.04115972426321831,0.0,0.03283541522146498,0.17550685765410562,0.07634135793266066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394850031069759,0.0,0.10401050541253268,0.12732555746860835,0.0,0.0,0.04172984004998357,0.14556140796370748,0.08894992638465529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03771801895227718,0.0,0.0,0.10303395913563893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145131838537845,0.03940659471604607,0.04875749523887957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044504829804631066,0.12409147724981245,0.0,0.0,0.02812291328589081
mentalhealth,kevin_targaryen_,2019/02/27,"WILL MY BROTHER FORGIVE ME?!?! My brother was in a manic state for 5 days thinking people were out to rape and kill him! I tried my best to calm him but nothing worked. On day 5 he grabbed a large knife and was talking about kill someone or I thought could be himself, so I had my dad call the police to come and assess the situation. Within 20 minutes they said it was a good idea I called and brought him to the hospital. He is now being transferred to a mental heath facility to get treatment! He won’t take my families calls except our little brother. I was then told my brother hates me and wants to spit in my face for “putting him in there” 

My brother wouldn’t have got help himself and I know he’s where he needs to be my question again will he forgive me?! Has anyone had a experience where their loved one was angry and then understood why they made the call?!? ",3.750411140583555,5.068756879310347,4.346091954022992,87.74271883289127,72.16091954022987,6.733156498673741,28.90185676392573,7.010146845296331,1.4117007957559689,683,27,140,6,13,217,108,174,0.108,0.767,0.125,-0.6263,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,3,2,7,10,4,0,9,0,19,4,2,1,0,25,35,12,2,4,3,6,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,9,0,0,8,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,15,2,28,6,18,12,1,19,0,0,0,2,34,9,0,2,6,94,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996001462081625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948617402473807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5818049389748932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270288011242778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372993114551976,0.0,0.0,0.1837291722875709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933755005980306,0.13428351174467962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442110293549456,0.0,0.0,0.11947525629920135,0.11392546720556235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406339447890648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547720046749283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080192057590262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151863288512289,0.0,0.07828348885208462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276629421647222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856125772893318,0.1347839426347082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355003356536258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562040987933642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667884521751802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652373062667656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875272373797417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319554808616666,0.15956986289089795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354968489549294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011300716199586,0.0,0.0,0.12069232613147428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071001492489968,0.11449107935561847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912723538681662,0.0,0.11308461283863774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611133184539045,0.0,0.09671011545745296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401715287224586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285335405999158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037009174844526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eroynsus,2019/02/27,"Help me understand this? This weekend I had a very intense experience while shopping with my mom and aunt. The whole day was going really well, saw a movie, met a puppy, visited my cousin I hadn't seen in a long time. And for some reason I had a panic attack or I disassociated while I was shopping alone. 
I get panic attacks fairly often but they usually have a cause and I couldn't think of why this was happening. Every time I blinked there was a bright flashing, I felt really light headed, and walking felt more like floating. I made myself go into the bathrooms because I don't like my mother knowing this part of me and my aunt is unfamiliar to this. 
But it was really scary, it literally felt like everything was spinning and it felt like my lungs were shrinking. I've never been diagnosed with anything because my family isn't understanding and I prefer to keep this part of my life to myself as a result. But was this a disassociating episode, or just a bad panic attack? I've also heard of depersonalization but idk what that really is. The flashing lights really scared me though, I've never experienced that before and I've even passed out twice in the past.

Sorry for the long read, I'm just hoping to get a better of understanding of myself :/",5.773500000000002,6.824087349999999,6.927500000000002,72.11250000000003,67.16666666666666,9.5,28.75,9.673873057562805,2.6978750000000007,1004,33,177,21,16,339,128,240,0.151,0.727,0.121,-0.7709,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,1,8,16,3,4,16,0,18,4,2,4,2,41,40,19,0,3,8,5,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,13,12,0,1,11,4,2,5,6,8,1,1,21,11,26,8,19,18,5,21,0,0,3,0,10,4,0,5,16,124,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991975148830726,0.0,0.07715159929548487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939129818829277,0.0,0.0,0.32926518126246623,0.0,0.0,0.08055319731192072,0.11762140823557565,0.0,0.08209373287021808,0.0,0.0,0.08532493528284618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991071410141472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221885886217366,0.0,0.0,0.09792082610270153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372130389205731,0.0,0.08128495597734678,0.0,0.08670615732026132,0.09437176746001613,0.09094872371908536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.370527286617712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080916475612024,0.0,0.1096587511522704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531316153898222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990119230788116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466564222195939,0.0,0.0,0.09582215947034453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575205369144516,0.0,0.0,0.05302053324991654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814365492795288,0.1885326565797579,0.0,0.0,0.17075595449161848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128765997541624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299119852464093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881604727969036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33958041551165635,0.0,0.20894760888805716,0.09209699223045308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650182878467646,0.0,0.3090240866434909,0.09919310928343034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658902713111504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799667117037658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181774655200983,0.09478690613144236,0.0,0.11251153760303384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30130388414374537,0.0,0.0,0.1062543767872676,0.07960257364951223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674325952320626,0.0,0.08705433244019062,0.10771169724411853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PurpleDragon9,2019/02/27,"I've had severe mental illness for 4 years untreated, can I still get help? I've got bad mental illness, OCD which I've always had, anxiety disorder, and presumably some type of depression.


I haven't been to a doctor for it ever, and I worry that I may have messed up my head and skills to function as a person, is it possible that if I do go to a doctor as early as I can, that the help I get for my mental illness will put me back in my normal ability and skill. 

Will my abilities as a soldier go back to what it's always been, will I be able to word better again? Better grammar and whatnot, and will I still have my feelings and emotions? My mental illness has made it very hard for me to form relationships naturally as a person, where as naturally I am a very social person who I would consider really really good at forming relationships.

Will I still have my ability and skill to feel, and naturally focus on what I care about therefore naturally react to those feelings with how I do to people I love?

I don't want mental illness to damage functioning parts of my brain, I've had this mental illness for about 3 years, 4 was incorrect earlier, can my brain still be fixed back to normal even after 3 years? Any help and advice would be appreciated ",11.225761648745522,6.6922862177419375,11.476827956989247,61.85885304659502,59.806451612903224,14.570609318996418,41.668458781362006,12.06081838636515,4.866321146953406,994,35,183,22,9,343,119,248,0.162,0.7070000000000001,0.131,-0.7273,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,5,14,9,0,0,7,0,30,12,3,4,1,29,42,18,0,6,1,0,4,0,0,8,8,0,0,3,13,11,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,8,4,27,5,32,23,4,22,0,2,0,1,11,5,0,3,14,136,40,3,0.09010503522618067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804959758653527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499492149441159,0.0,0.0,0.061274513787118574,0.0,0.06893010531970133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20785563071110835,0.07523394072402509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593811626990741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201174037673424,0.0,0.0,0.09186808859889237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760733480810791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032681767033611,0.1844526432625088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135603682327307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059513525966065975,0.08150516297270118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667943949121986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415232391499458,0.0,0.10241753598078022,0.07557582854327963,0.0720652279219941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071641313006428,0.0,0.09247376144535346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811865173384477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132331222707898,0.08525956297961954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5448280954651727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656760682245015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757497247837076,0.0,0.06246748614384755,0.2360287237388229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015798886871972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058044758003524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544718567436354,0.0,0.0,0.19347817392966613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179304242698932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185073621843834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878319901001873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869218124855205,0.05314628431736464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150603707468023,0.0,0.12801606356984374,0.0,0.0,0.17407406542811105
mentalhealth,Babygirlbarbiegirl,2019/02/27,"First time panic attack Hi

So last night I had my first panic attack (and god it was scary) and I had my second one this morning. Any ideas how to stop them. I have GAD",-1.9810714285714253,-0.4844201388888862,0.18238095238095292,102.91500000000002,111.5,2.0571428571428574,7.920634920634921,3.1291,-2.3798365079365085,129,1,30,0,7,42,28,36,0.34,0.612,0.048,-0.9169,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,2,2,4,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,3,0,6,0,1,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587173209088099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5310434134790535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39705313034780587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634757370578573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19024893580193974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21902638695866652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815520722237453,0.0,0.0,0.5476799651652138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951295527845039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609511660647958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brielzibub,2019/02/27,"Anyone have experience, patient or professional, with Timberline Knolls? I’ve been looking into Timberline Knolls for residential treatment after I kept hearing about it in psych wards.  Has anyone had experience with them? How good of a treatment facility is it? Is it worth flying in from New York for?

I’m hoping they accept my insurance, but I suppose I won’t know until I ask.",4.0842647058823545,7.2641374264705885,5.598529411764709,70.0633823529412,79.14705882352942,8.105882352941178,29.088235294117645,8.841846274778883,3.2809058823529424,307,14,46,8,8,103,52,68,0.0,0.8740000000000001,0.126,0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,1,0,10,14,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,7,3,12,10,0,6,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,2,3,33,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113549728742434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27499183569833524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5754729918309749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24672022424236936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33152998704645864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921586946936604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165790743895184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470130779010497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840932387896139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LimesAreAwesome,2019/02/27,"How does one prepare for loss I am a trans girl, still in the closet, hoping to change that soon, and start my transition. I've also come to the realization that I may love my family. That may seem weird, but for the longest time, I thought I didn't, and it still feels weird to say it. It honestly still feels like I don't, but when I think about coming out, and I know that I'm going to lose every last one of them, I start to cry a lot. I can't remember the last time I told one of them I loved them, it's been 3 years at least, probably more, but when I imagine never being able to speak to speak to my mother again, or see my little siblings grow up, or spend time with my grandmother, it hurts immensely. 

Idk if any of that context was necessary, but my question is this: I am in a bit of a privileged position to at least know that I'm going to lose them all soon. How can I use that to my advantage and mentally prepare for it?

(Sorry if this isn't the right sub, I specifically was searching for somewhere to ask this and here seemed like the place to do so)",8.404897857498758,4.784269569506726,8.571988041853515,77.73757349277531,64.06726457399103,12.422321873442952,35.09167912306925,10.25414643259724,3.063584354758346,826,23,188,14,9,274,118,223,0.097,0.7859999999999999,0.117,0.7684,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,4,4,14,14,0,0,10,0,15,2,0,3,2,37,38,19,0,3,8,1,2,2,0,2,0,3,1,1,16,9,0,0,11,0,1,5,5,6,0,3,6,6,26,8,29,29,6,31,0,4,1,2,14,9,0,11,19,131,42,0,0.12637522520966438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106222194205727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593948673369854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814377616962407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796901503258718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133688231514955,0.21772213298190252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388172507694039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059181120859156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647657775791217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191353152206524,0.0,0.12779822203332195,0.0902824861407482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364390560972015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551911348292552,0.0,0.0,0.13528729234152267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389050375551419,0.20602535124499494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348110315649816,0.1266611756229834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28276310295784873,0.0,0.10743969725243667,0.2281171495398701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735650324115305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746836446720243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569053696558111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203521274852648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625386717091953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415691745638058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431584947847098,0.10792375182655407,0.0,0.10049865141685324,0.0,0.0,0.10070469263653764,0.2300945174187151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146671813014142,0.17889806970622982,0.0,0.302770254293914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809761415064105,0.0,0.10032781256683457,0.2210712303071864,0.0,0.0,0.12075694337913298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091476189110146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138150166051067
mentalhealth,alexthecampbell,2019/02/27,Struggle with identity I'm not sure I even have one. I base so much of what I say and do on other people. It leaves me feeling kind've empty. I want to do my own thing but have no idea how to stop caring what other people think.,0.4836734693877531,2.419547571428573,2.440163265306122,95.02269387755103,83.48979591836735,4.736326530612245,17.963265306122448,5.6839178017228535,-0.4521542857142853,177,4,40,1,5,59,39,49,0.192,0.6809999999999999,0.127,-0.3466,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,11,9,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,6,2,5,9,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,31,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28670918438009124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857345107484895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218666211416875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31744837074880256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29283372161784954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977575127242878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671943361735196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905530786964158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899069258047701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22362702022899647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23510156687703235,0.0,0.2939785170288216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26503418304271986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868213745210888,0.18018603214493906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586312028318145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,healthplustest,2019/02/27,"#Healthy #snacks for #kids \#Healthy #snacks for #kids

[https://healthplustest.blogspot.com/2019/02/healthy-snacks-for-kids.html](https://healthplustest.blogspot.com/2019/02/healthy-snacks-for-kids.html)",81.45666666666669,103.73527466666668,22.008888888888887,-46.69999999999996,-86.55555555555556,8.044444444444443,42.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,4.196466666666668,188,3,8,1,1,26,6,9,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SecretOfficerNeko,2019/02/27,"I want to feel emotions... Im 23 (F). I was born to an austere, absent, abusive father and a narcissistic, controlling mother, in a dysfunctional family. Strict control, emotional neglect and abuse were... normal to me. In my first 20 years I never felt loved or connected to my family, or any of my peers. I lashed out at school, leaving me in isolation.


Then, at 20, I came out as LGBT+. I was kicked out, and my parents spread rumors until no relatives would speak to me. I spent the next 2 years pulling myself through the rest of university and under constant threat of homelessness, with no support from my friends, who abandoned me the moment I needed them. 


Since then I've been trying to get to a point of having a ""normal"" life. I have been slowly regrowing a friend group. I have a stable job I enjoy, a solid roof over my head, and pay my bills on time. I may even be able to afford a car, or some new clothes, soon. But... I'm terrible with intimacy, and love feels completely out of my reach. Despite desperately wanting to find another girl to love and be loved by, it just... feels like a completely foreign concept to me. 


I'm slowly building a life but I have no idea who I am, what I like, or what I'm feeling at any given time. To a certain degree I feel like a complete stranger to myself. After repeated abandonment and a life of isolation I also have major trust issues and difficulty opening up... in fact I'm usually completely emotionally numb and lack the vocabulary to identify my emotions why they do appear.  


I've been trying to get over this hurdle. I am learning to consciously lower my protections and walls so I can actually feel feelings... hopefully with practice it'll get easier to do. Im trying to be more open with people. And even if I can't afford anything. I'm exploring what I can, and trying to figure out who I am and what I like. 


I don't know if I'll ever be able to relate to people normally but...  Im doing what I can to get out of the emotional and financial hell of my life up until this point. It's just hard. I suffer complete mental breakdowns regularly, I struggle with anxiety, depression, and a cocktail of other mental issues. I just want to feel emotions, feel love and bond with other people. They seem to do it so easily and completely naturally. I'm tired of being lonely all the time... I feel so alone...


Anyways if you're still reading here thanks for reading my rant...I just... needed to get it out tonight. I know I'm not the best writer but... it's just what's on my mind. ",3.5468623481781414,5.275258696356278,5.302208502024289,79.0450941295547,73.37246963562755,8.34080971659919,27.73461538461539,8.982922981607832,2.3944948987854247,1972,76,368,42,40,673,234,494,0.157,0.716,0.127,-0.9635,5,5,0,0,1,0,95.0,0,0,3,4,16,29,2,1,22,0,31,12,1,2,5,96,74,38,0,14,17,3,12,4,2,3,6,1,0,1,19,34,1,6,20,3,3,5,7,11,0,1,10,13,53,18,70,56,7,54,1,6,0,5,20,26,1,12,27,253,72,7,0.12216063151476893,0.1447403724907091,0.059605577237732514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326078626523388,0.0,0.04884590644347008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307341849659365,0.06404803676245671,0.04672627437022297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0502638954881384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410002303135742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985960924466451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38424929381987744,0.06600612215402246,0.13701353577315026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052608386459971804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4122428042478901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068594499114969,0.055250642516625634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516217137433825,0.0,0.30884042905075204,0.08727157956299925,0.058646681799701776,0.0,0.05582630203902937,0.051954885380337455,0.0,0.0,0.09438100087576183,0.0,0.15955971993084736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054715965521928096,0.0,0.06268602563859907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066653548909175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689522417685004,0.1979316673583497,0.12750396097294975,0.060612788541869626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713628830400363,0.0,0.0,0.06467523508570368,0.0,0.0,0.1725713335159179,0.1193630279725474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756368485289198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231091840797147,0.0,0.06167370687421001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058056037645973,0.04710890499411968,0.0589917495740205,0.06495960874905261,0.0,0.1795372225897654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782246228054686,0.0,0.0,0.12703620065155746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548128258705667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219368991657273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061816540468899936,0.0,0.055605225449296934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05052626838107542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0487788190645076,0.0,0.0,0.06385440798798928,0.0,0.0,0.06931321848699044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623454835017065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684926993905587,0.07020283768568479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587809992814706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727133844474734,0.0,0.10808025831035327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511548453566727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04338970383417327,0.0,0.0,0.07866744150188014
mentalhealth,throwawaybeany,2019/02/27,"Body confusing adoration with arousal Let me preface this by saying I’m very scared about what my body is doing however I know I would never do anything inappropriate. 
I have a history of mental illness, the only diagnosed is anxiety and mood disorder, however that was a while ago and I do speculate that I may have OCD. This may be relevant. I’m almost 100% sure I was sexually assaulted as a kid multiple times by my mom’s male friends so I believe this may play a part in what I’m about to say. I’ve noticed that when I look at someone I really adore, my daughter for instance, I get this feeling in my pelvis. It’s almost like being turned on but not as strong and I feel no sexual desire with it at all. It’s just an uncomfortable feeling. Could anyone have any explanations???? I hate it, it makes me want to walk away from my daughter because even though I feel NO sexual feelings and have NO sexual thoughts along with it, it makes me feel gross. ",3.385212765957444,5.3256368297872365,5.06058510638298,79.70875000000002,74.31914893617022,8.955319148936171,28.77127659574468,9.516144504307137,2.833695744680852,756,32,145,20,16,256,116,188,0.193,0.7070000000000001,0.1,-0.9702,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,7,13,2,2,6,0,19,6,4,2,3,34,37,11,0,4,3,3,6,1,1,4,2,2,0,2,16,8,0,0,8,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,9,21,7,21,26,2,12,0,0,1,1,8,6,0,6,6,101,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632650751621252,0.0,0.2854063387880992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969116800312743,0.0,0.10901975223293024,0.0,0.0,0.09964629848454194,0.0,0.1172735790780445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338928266855056,0.0,0.0,0.08687276713419341,0.0,0.0,0.16055995738919385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31659294447952513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378263081931213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464463997184018,0.0,0.0,0.16332879495150127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941265043080408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.432343997141977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010286471211364,0.0,0.07445558785787572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069911112601646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831976350981353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572612005529328,0.0,0.0696231826243787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196724994869004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19025304977903085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361655114666755,0.0,0.0,0.16690597782990418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991248969972332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622485680903314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838526909131244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543244316019719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129554872891599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22665932785622764,0.14267736099322992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074825200914173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431397897685268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001534154794915,0.1131370134876798,0.08309872116581338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500994627500744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758566654951788,0.08405608436991524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012350080381386,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,forgottenpenguin136,2019/02/27,"looking for insight here are some thins i've been experiencing for at least two years (i'm a 19yo female). I was wondering if someone could help pin point what's wrong with me/if anything is wrong with me. I don't really know what to think about all of this because it doesn't feel like depression or anxiety but I also don't feel normal. To be clear I'm really involved in school and have decent to good grades which is why I'm hesitant to say anything is wrong with me but I don't feel right. I feel really adrift kind of like i'm floating in space and nothing feels real like talking to friends etc. thanks in advance.

  

* Constantly feeling empty
* constantly eating/thinking about eating
* Feeling random urges to change my appearance 
* Feeling lost/confused/empty/detached/lonely after seeing friends/being around others
* Having difficulty falling asleep without smoking (weed)
* Trouble concentrating on schoolwork/ lack of motivation to study
* Keeping myself constantly busy with school activities/projects 
* Infrequent traumatic dreams (ex. Best friend dying, brother dying) (I’ve had around 8-10 of these dreams over last 3 years) that felt real/extremely vivid
* Constantly thinking about childhood events (parents were physically abusive)
* have been suicidal on and off since I was 12 but not currently

​",4.392682512733444,7.821979298245615,4.357334465195248,76.92247028862481,82.77192982456141,6.977023203169214,30.161856253537067,8.049812674583475,3.027404470854556,1072,52,156,23,31,330,153,228,0.157,0.659,0.184,0.8443,2,2,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,3,7,14,0,0,1,0,19,2,1,1,2,41,41,9,3,4,7,3,10,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,8,9,1,1,15,2,0,3,6,5,0,1,7,15,10,9,32,32,6,28,0,1,3,0,9,14,0,6,14,88,18,4,0.0,0.11137837983849208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751742976447774,0.0,0.10185239075763627,0.11422413548000275,0.0,0.0,0.07191216445955126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471319155820196,0.1673654945960276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573034573025144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865052286363146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994428849315338,0.0,0.0,0.40633610752430654,0.0,0.07505387870114089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096478886987858,0.0,0.19512088961341895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618870642317214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048383783658124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802466004404464,0.06715588035602747,0.09025778073320423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525322526377246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884539543591577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300834046441796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355433285527354,0.0,0.09788983147563418,0.05166168147142092,0.07662512647772969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777559542745035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893898388248277,0.0,0.10261555981014236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210314362029788,0.0901985727648242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437939098090186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886337609116668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399236494843674,0.18066250510067744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027818987991378,0.0,0.07475509037235263,0.0,0.19027244454793996,0.07490835242891547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776039006573983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964857724251821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282420594037332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555618380990989,0.0,0.08654548524936809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070029868980925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182743369090383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482323578364599,0.0,0.0,0.09061569722026737,0.10194242329085997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308333114473594,0.11422413548000275,0.12106991338689813
mentalhealth,Herren117,2019/02/27,"I'm feeling depressed and my job isn't helping. I suffer from seasonal depression, my job isn't helping I'm a labourer at a scaffold yard.
My crew and I are constantly being told how are production isn't good enough, they want more and more stuff done but not giving us the stuff we need to get it done. 

this has been going on for 3 weeks.

Yesterday was the tipping point I got a BS write up for lack of production, I was finding work to do because everyone else were already doing stuff so I was picking up garbage.

My foreman wasn't around so I couldn't get further instructions on what else he wanted done I continued cleaning the yard.

At the end of the day I was dragged into the office and got a write up turns out he. Along with his boss was watching us after a meeting before lunch.

Today I called in I needed a day to myself I booked some course's and applied for other work I cannot take being told how my work isn't good enough.

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mentalhealth,mab604,2019/02/28,"Question about intrusive/scary thoughts? Hello all, I remember I have been having this anxiety since watching the second season of Thirteen Reasons Why. I just recently also watched A Star Is Born, and have been having these weird scary images of suicide and depression pop up. I think I just have mild anxiety, nothing too serious. However, any slightly scary image or news article prompts my brain to overthink it and I cannot sleep for days at a time. I feel weak, and that I cannot handle any scary stuff, contrary to me being in my mid-20's. Can someone offer any advice/support please? I do not understand where these thoughts come from and why they linger so long. ",4.7623725055432375,7.2715517560975655,4.696112342941613,81.30984478935702,72.08943089430895,7.724759793052478,31.507021433850703,8.575989854853784,2.8112666666666666,538,25,90,10,11,166,89,123,0.21,0.762,0.028,-0.9719,1,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,13,3,2,1,1,20,19,8,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,8,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,4,3,13,0,10,14,1,11,0,1,2,0,4,4,0,2,6,60,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173706318541576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36158349462017975,0.0,0.27117297579464755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978560826053707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267473407131396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143037657080489,0.0,0.15265472050128406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961679410584318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15684994045535555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700645194932578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945539612689112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985469808071472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822300526035396,0.1750010176753958,0.0,0.2007759599077777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661300025908586,0.0,0.1773658722994619,0.0,0.15017307482666672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20289496105535312,0.19386946643954975,0.20112743817426768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356687261225708,0.0,0.2814141473594936,0.10334882918793076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451087665870547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198592259995209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pyroprotege,2019/02/28,"Help with Dad’s Undiagnosed Struggles I don’t know where to start. How can I get help for someone who doesn’t want to be helped? 

My Dad has become more and more socially withdrawn in the last year. This has really culminated this winter. 

I don’t believe he’s gone out to see family/friends or do anything he enjoys for the entire month of February. In phone calls he’s made it seem like a goal. I know he saw my grandma (4.5 hours away) in January, and I last saw him in December (though we phone twice a week).

I’ve recommended volunteer work, playing cards at the Community Center just next door- ** nothing interests him except his retirement account. His words.**

My dad has a great distrust of doctors and dentists alike, and as such, he has a couple of very good reasons to not want to be seen in public. But I feel like that distrust is helping to fuel this cycle of isolation. In addition to that distrust, he has always been paranoid that people or the government are watching him (he doesn’t have a smartphone/computer/internet connection).

At the same time, I know he “plays games” with local police. He’s frequently pulled over for DUI tests- which he always passes. Which makes me wonder if he’s lonely, bored, or a combination.

There’s a lot to unpackage here, and I don’t know what I can do or who I can get involved to help. I think therapy might do him some good, but I’m not sure how to get him to see a therapist willingly.

He’s not a threat to himself or others, he’s just leading a very lonely life.

TLDR: dad is severely isolating himself from human contact, who can I turn to for help?",3.6399016957483434,5.523867201277954,4.901166134185306,81.36548230523472,73.47284345047923,8.265863848611453,28.012902433030227,8.950670267944501,2.381984123863357,1266,50,239,27,26,419,172,313,0.083,0.8059999999999999,0.111,0.6761,0,5,0,0,0,0,48.0,1,0,0,3,9,18,4,1,15,0,26,3,0,6,1,46,50,17,0,3,14,4,1,2,0,2,3,0,1,1,14,10,0,0,9,3,1,4,8,8,0,1,6,7,26,10,37,40,5,29,0,2,6,0,45,14,0,11,13,149,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449044894332213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617407399714843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980323720460214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907376247134286,0.0,0.13167249899187453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933736410642865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293144616329643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962142452788982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909299704764723,0.0834919704215983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902934927147907,0.0,0.18317929594471954,0.0,0.0,0.19605006705935787,0.0,0.12884961701706296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4700130922694706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150934346190046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256914841022095,0.1905293403798147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254875611095004,0.11419358341878327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935871738314073,0.0,0.110585245056452,0.07801165032856598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398062950466912,0.0,0.0,0.0932845403016882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429259925012195,0.0,0.0,0.112139942614499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102296120060089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486993172794575,0.12016185211641528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626056012276912,0.106394082970565,0.0,0.13202986443316933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913427442455395,0.0990235943598624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272120642041167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217792710336615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014861705870488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365106084788128,0.13569510874771684,0.0,0.07488559410037038,0.114824207844864,0.0,0.06814785240885994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712102896958122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19286002328301968,0.13786593948365716,0.0,0.0937460859222172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674055860757705,0.08508277134819492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526046545629941
mentalhealth,o2bd9e,2019/02/28,"I think I may be feeling a little bit suicidal. I went to the Wal-Mart pharmacy to get a new prescription filled.  As I was waiting, I started feeling pretty agitated, and like I should attack somebody or vandalize property.  I started pacing and doing breathing exercises to try and keep it down, and then I ended up saying this:

Me: They should sell one-time use shotguns at Wal-Mart.  A lot of people that shop here could use 'em.  No license, either - send them to a special room, seal it off with saran wrap...

There were plenty of people around.

Things are pretty bad for me these days.  It started as just social anxiety and depression, ~15 years ago.  I was committed to psych holding for a month recently.  It's actually been a pretty brutal couple of months.

I was using my blender today and my main focus was fighting the urge to put my hand in while it was running.

I used to be a musician, I don't really play anymore.  I was in love once, too.

My family has more or less disowned me due to my illnesses.  I live with a childhood friend who is a drug dealer now.  I'm not a criminal, but I need to have someone I've known for a while in my life.  I feel safer living with him than I would with a wealthy family who doesn't get me at all and may just evict me or some such to make me get worse way faster.

I may be going to jail for something I did, and I was not even aware of myself while doing it.  I felt out of body, it was something where it was so terrifying I should have soiled myself or gotten sick, but I didn't feel anything during the entire thing nor do I know why I did it.  Even if I don't go to jail, my finances are pretty bad (how can you maintain employment like this - I am on disability), so any fines I eat are going to hurt pretty badly as well.  It was probably a mental health episode, I get them often, but I don't like saying that because even I don't like the idea of people getting off the hook for things they did with their own bodies.  At the same time, I think it's cruel how society leaves people like me mostly to hang (a lot of us aren't on disability, I won't be able to be on disability forever, and once it's pulled, that's it for me), why can't we get assisted-suicide?  Some cruelty about our nature I suppose - oh, you're crazy and your life is going to be much more brutal than most of ours?  Haha.  Is that what it is?

If so, :'(



I once did over a thousand pushups in one day.  I miss when I had passion for music, it was a huge bummer watching it leave.  With sensations like that you can't force it, you either have it or you don't.

I wake up each morning to a nightmarish panic attack.  Sometimes my brain feels fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure it's just a hallucination.

I am mostly treatment resistant, in the sense that very rarely something that is supposed to help will help, but most of the time it makes me worse.

I don't know what to do about suicide.

Sometimes I talk to myself out loud in third person, not as a planned thing, just my brain fires an odd impulse and out comes loud enough for everyone to hear, things like: ""Once a month, you end up in the ER for something stupid you do.  Don't do it, (myname), don't do it!""

It would be nice to be around people more.  I have a pain issue as well however.  It causes spasms, sometimes I will start doing random motions with my face mouth tongue or fingers as a way to discharge some of that energy.

I was recently told by a psychiatrist that I am not just suffering from clinical anxiety, clinical depression, and bipolar i, but have now also taken on many traits of schizophrenia.  I'm trying not to believe that right now.

I had a really good youth.  I don't know what happened.  I remember feeling suicidal at times even then however, so I suppose nothing has changed, just I am older and unable to fit into society as how I am.  So I am on disability which is extremely meager, I am really worried about my end likely being me starving or freezing to death (whichever comes first) while homeless.  It seems like the most likely end.

I'm very sad.  I miss times with my brother.  I miss at least feeling some warmth and love.

Every now and then my mind just snaps and I think life is something else entirely.  For example, my most recent event had me thinking we were actually living in a computer simulation (just like Elon Musk said), and the simulation was being played by four people who were on Mars playing this computer simulation (everyone was an NPC one of these four players would take over at will, when not manually operated they had scripts).  The point of the game was to find the true Elon Musk (the creator of the computer simulation) and kill him, thus ending the game and releasing the players on Mars back into their bodies.  I was the real Elon Musk, so I did some weird stuff IRL because in my mind I was trying not to get killed by three other Mars players who had found me out.  The people on Mars were myself (Elon Musk), my actual dad, my actual sister and my actual brother.  Police got involved but they just took me for a psych eval (so far).  And then you just snap out of it.

I once went three weeks without sleeping and then got in a fight with my chiropractor, largely because I started it while I was laying on the table.  He had made a racist remark.

Seriously.  How do you fit into society like this?  My life now is so much energy focusing on trying not to hurt self or others, that there isn't room for much else.

Also, whenever I have breaks from episodes, I am just in fear of where I will wake up in life after the next uncontrollable one.

I am very sad.

Here's a little piece I wrote about five years ago.  Maybe someone will enjoy it.  https://picosong.com/wSDei/

Yes I am going to multipost this, because I am of course a narcissistic attention seeker in addition to everything else.  I just really want to connect with people, I don't know how else to do it anymore.

Thank you.",4.305241387980889,5.381701795532648,5.385444640013411,81.73468317827509,70.56357388316151,8.46155393512698,27.425362501047694,8.806905602820038,2.004463909144247,4606,154,910,81,82,1523,449,1164,0.147,0.727,0.127,-0.9901,4,0,6,1,3,2,162.0,5,10,8,2,56,59,10,3,54,2,117,31,13,14,4,164,188,74,6,11,40,4,12,12,1,15,14,6,3,2,63,48,1,3,23,7,3,17,28,29,3,11,48,19,134,30,140,114,31,136,0,10,1,3,55,60,0,29,68,658,197,7,0.041734123478167566,0.0,0.2036324214750183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398956474095356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674952693473417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028380635089228213,0.0,0.06385298045895782,0.0,0.08277807239366619,0.0,0.0,0.03434362764475507,0.07430443608713103,0.0,0.09495718078020172,0.0,0.032090964861008146,0.10453874960630297,0.10176293724064632,0.0,0.0,0.04702006568387033,0.0,0.0,0.04556285379494473,0.13907160869873653,0.0,0.09317816820990202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042872441005480655,0.0441491688926091,0.07190050396920572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033321301660781955,0.04617801383287736,0.0,0.053830114131051265,0.0,0.07189107879627107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04839833352738848,0.04270442725351371,0.13945401984100345,0.0,0.18482023028765576,0.04312250578736451,0.0,0.1102599798137478,0.0,0.035162799008342266,0.07975748691991921,0.03750793915036048,0.0,0.07868643474668792,0.046962491689921664,0.14771418760465801,0.0,0.04007130332356953,0.0,0.03814423278164954,0.03549902411064247,0.0,0.04575931227478918,0.03224368027326284,0.0,0.15263049903442996,0.0,0.118592320679478,0.035004602711409954,0.06675718206045198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369053475626842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04436142168169576,0.047037390303600525,0.0,0.05594700649969767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893544846981018,0.04711274551188215,0.0,0.04355958204552353,0.0,0.03709520651453864,0.09234524840754683,0.0,0.09174393128792577,0.0,0.0,0.08838082166331795,0.0,0.0,0.14739022818645622,0.2446702159131525,0.08365711134551096,0.11055598690742624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096171870951859,0.0753333516960293,0.03948983672393234,0.055715702984913434,0.04231185077716526,0.0419275364812758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04205818049539242,0.0,0.08427913530337029,0.0,0.09993533758053083,0.0,0.09203814823873802,0.030945323747902806,0.0,0.04030707651699827,0.04438471378233926,0.0,0.0,0.04004501705283636,0.0,0.0,0.22222739724902285,0.11312048862564532,0.0,0.04440804985525853,0.04896600178239393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23146549122844715,0.03644062686095119,0.0,0.0,0.03945223634770355,0.0,0.0,0.25475164359311203,0.044996443784411436,0.0,0.0,0.041954321137810106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04750256928055747,0.10694379265368507,0.0,0.12362223627755765,0.0,0.04727662631960863,0.035640713418978544,0.03969870844585023,0.06637730014980064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03799317859046504,0.04353779266185562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041764263363027535,0.0425426831838928,0.07072237478140349,0.16064483599144508,0.12382834577604558,0.0,0.14769813701100848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777558658094051,0.18260142945110525,0.0,0.039333917475109136,0.0,0.03137886697983091,0.033544307591250794,0.0,0.03842317374237332,0.0,0.0,0.13863148601504172,0.10696616469904943,0.0,0.0,0.0973420120682006,0.0,0.03955906921432978,0.039878743459959606,0.046368146781793525,0.11333892136744825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050201011957144805,0.14417953194300331,0.0,0.10330506786143644,0.02461586732127748,0.06625320930684102,0.033476596490664444,0.0,0.07504797814722351,0.07737590116110513,0.07531711022278023,0.0,0.0,0.040230205747284205,0.0,0.0,0.04238302821464153,0.08506127454033917,0.08894017172517234,0.0,0.0,0.053750814425907234
mentalhealth,eklol200225,2019/02/28,"What’s going on Everyday I eat less and less. The thought of eating has been making me feel sick and when I have to eat (dinner with my parents) I practically gag eating and feel like I’m going to puke for hours later. 

I wake up in the morning feeling sick to my stomach it lasts all morning and goes away in the afternoon until around 8 at night. 

What’s going on with me ",1.3049675324675327,3.4991713636363677,3.18193181818182,89.39289772727275,82.11688311688313,5.40844155844156,21.313311688311693,6.6274283507984215,0.4561181818181818,293,9,60,3,8,98,51,77,0.156,0.7929999999999999,0.05,-0.8555,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,3,9,2,1,1,13,12,6,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,7,5,0,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,8,1,16,10,3,19,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,9,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16471726606401502,0.0,0.0,0.17384318733926582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7573336803503883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806724615154312,0.13218654226269036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154730005450173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822187580745804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082537025550755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903970457547748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350996462375505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17363953059457862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20545558637758946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689434466075774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GlassCranberry,2019/02/28,"Compulsive suicidal thoughts but no desire to kill self? I've been under a lot of stress lately, due to the pressure that comes from getting a physics PhD, and I've been developing a weird habit/behavior lately as a result. When I think about certain things that have upset me, I just compulsively start thinking the words 'I want to kill myself' and sometimes I make these motions, like earlier I hit my neck with my fist as if to stab it. Other times I've motioned towards my head with finger guns. It's odd because I don't want to kill myself at all. It's just a response to thinking about stressful situations I've experienced. Does anyone else ever do this?",5.281461067366578,6.640420488188982,5.801522309711287,78.60198600174981,68.52755905511812,8.164129483814524,31.43394575678041,8.515128840125781,2.5039840769903763,530,22,95,8,9,171,86,127,0.324,0.596,0.08,-0.9922,0,0,0,1,0,2,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,10,3,4,7,0,5,3,3,2,3,23,16,7,4,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,8,0,0,3,2,12,2,17,12,2,13,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,8,61,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098072483214214,0.1609078390044948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573119782821847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527756875074498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742830036745238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118823732229187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420532605656623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204783669004492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611701498527578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5212303113594382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35429988567594994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672267028111239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351128645091712,0.0,0.0,0.10482659265178132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16382880271861094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17652151534177107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531831382048358,0.0,0.11115496432359358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35978160549978405,0.0,0.0,0.17177819391318708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433156567831448,0.3018780516185933,0.0,0.1246736138052621,0.09157231175689436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852545948962764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rickylikesmusic,2019/02/28,"How can I cheer myself up? I had such a good beginning of the week. I even wanted to interact with people. I got work done in class. I also felt optimistic. Yesterday I felt good. Earlier today was good. But as soon I got out of school it all sort of went downhill.  

I got home. I went to my room. Everything was good. 

Then I started to see colors which is usually not a good thing. I ignored it. My mom gets really worried if I get worried. I see flashes of purple and red sometimes. It was a mistake to ignore it. 

I went into a psychotic episode. I didnt know. My mom went up to check on me and I was convinced I was some sort of angel who visited earth. I started speaking weird and with a different tone of voice. I felt good in the moment. I felt like everything was amazing. But now my parents are stressed. I wasnt fully out of it though. 

 I think my parents should only be stressed if I am harming people. Im not. But now I feel so upset. My mom and I got into a bit of an argument. Nobody understands me and its depressing. 
 

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mentalhealth,Seanyboy253,2019/02/28,"What do you guys do for your anxiety? I was diagnosed with social anxiety performance disorder and I get anxious in school environments. This has been going on for the last year. I have been getting help and I am on antidepressants and they are working, but I just wanted to know what you guys do to manage your anxiety/stress. 

Just looking for some extra techniques to use",5.9482608695652175,7.619759768115943,6.3804057971014485,73.8975652173913,67.26086956521739,10.157681159420287,32.64057971014493,10.355215969177356,3.702504927536232,300,13,51,8,5,97,48,69,0.092,0.88,0.028,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,4,1,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,10,1,0,1,0,11,17,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,10,0,10,14,2,6,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,1,2,42,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35256400374203684,0.2603257489937771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23388648544778826,0.0,0.0,0.2640982606135011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407853587857498,0.0,0.13096141508599124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4563333892519426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445559836939446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664094730353231,0.18783512901648045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350720714706407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23321233394851776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348992733844749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639623007125844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902169277811266,0.0,0.0,0.1359164235716555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775928895160372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839246502028033
mentalhealth,LastBlankSpace,2019/02/28,"Just a little venting. Hello fellow Redditors. There’s some things I’d like to get off my chest if that’s alright. Lately I’ve been feeling good. I’ve had more good days than bad ones and that is a small victory, in my opinion. I got tired of letting my anxiety get the better of me mentally so I deleted my Twitter earlier this month (which was the main social media platform I used, and cause of my bad days), and ever since I removed it from my life I’ve felt much better.

Despite that I still have moments where I’m not sure if I’m doing better or relapsing. I make progress yet it’s almost like it doesn’t matter. I’m an introverted person by nature so I like being on my own. When I try to reach out no one really responds so it causes the self doubt to creep in again. I understand that people are busy and have things going on, I get that. It would just be nice to talk when I needed it. Even so I feel like I’m getting better, little by little. It isn’t perfect, and it sure as heck isn’t easy.

Every day is a battle, and I know I’ll lose every now and then. That’s okay. So long as I keep fighting, and don’t give up, I’ll be better. Anyways, if you read this then thank you.",1.3465615797678832,3.109933183266932,3.3808279923783147,90.26104971418673,79.71713147410358,5.7994803395115175,20.87320284081067,6.7026698264267655,0.34276843928633305,923,25,199,9,23,313,145,251,0.106,0.696,0.198,0.9653,0,0,0,0,2,0,30.0,0,2,0,8,18,24,2,1,7,2,18,3,1,4,4,37,39,23,0,5,7,0,3,4,1,1,2,0,0,2,19,9,0,1,5,1,0,2,6,6,0,2,5,3,24,18,20,29,5,31,0,1,0,0,11,13,1,8,20,129,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652124969665727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813781522777861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764078718004706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4704092815533816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21855706703663866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20581319118077665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702610384271422,0.09622413215612056,0.17925450568769058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075748657626562,0.07599578595684632,0.1021386503933295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22231047282824806,0.10204655978581904,0.060456529119631425,0.17844804545676593,0.08507944481688208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945528099962812,0.0,0.0,0.05846204481958665,0.0,0.11999794614507395,0.0,0.0,0.10877774115073176,0.07513725653777159,0.20788181376766696,0.3198532518260689,0.0,0.09414034198454628,0.0,0.11900870903897047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710075070761104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720304650714244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490914661676265,0.0,0.07819937183722306,0.07887723486489003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416768462409188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374845252661431,0.09288433712799217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640583739490612,0.0,0.06814786233298413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097446338789092,0.0,0.0,0.08799619524050284,0.0,0.0,0.10843800635648332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495284974596046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005182218880905,0.0,0.0,0.08550184350339901,0.0,0.09793769566676616,0.0,0.0,0.14134437075092135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222647705711166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222303434973258,0.0,0.0,0.1107422609029488,0.0,0.09187561662324592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556720439401346,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FinnicleofGreatness,2019/02/28,"Starting antidepressants and seeking advice from people with experience with them? I have been diagnosed with moderate depression and an anxiety disorder. I’m starting Lexapro and I’m happy about it, but I know that most anti-depressants have side-effects, and that they might not work for me, or that I might end up feeling worse. Does anyone have advice from their own experiences about this? ",6.539901960784312,9.4313775,6.182941176470589,70.91990196078433,68.11764705882354,9.827450980392157,33.392156862745104,10.125756701596842,4.1337568627450985,322,15,48,9,6,100,49,68,0.145,0.795,0.059,-0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,0,15,12,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,7,1,9,9,2,4,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,4,3,37,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38455869951170746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052693246495302,0.0,0.0,0.1375847159358568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389518699054173,0.1997153131107737,0.0,0.0,0.22551310183422515,0.0,0.1721929467921557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17427798748125087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38495359643568733,0.0,0.0,0.09949178065819723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094631267603504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813851170129303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4174793702407035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641411143097135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785467157242021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324940090516514,0.0,0.20052333714236528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PirdBussy,2019/02/28,"Venting My social awkwardness/anxiety has grown to the point it's unmanageable. Over the years I’ve began to slowly lose the ability to care about how I’m perceived and at the same time becoming more aware of my specific social quirks. You would think that with the combination of those two things that I would make some progress but somehow I got worse. Now, I’m having a speech …thing? Where no one can understand what I’m saying. It’s painful to watch the person's expression change from a smile to a look of confusion. I have to see this every fucking day. I raise my voice, I talk slow, nothing helps I’m better off cutting off my tongue. It’s only interesting to be in this disposition because you get to see just how many people pretend to listen to you instead of just asking you to repeat yourself. It’s fucking irritating because some will go as far as to fake laugh in response to what you said when you weren’t saying anything comical or asking them a question! My fucking therapist did that to me once…I was struggling to explain something and she just said “That’s weird” in a condescending tone and moved on. As much as I want to sleeping pill + alcohol, I won’t give up prematurely. I’ll continue going until things get so ridiculously bad that I snap and take my life on the spot.   ",5.419859943977592,6.469280444444442,5.971335200746968,78.65340336134457,67.96825396825396,9.104014939309057,31.490196078431374,9.325443323948027,2.783494117647059,1040,42,194,20,17,337,158,252,0.182,0.748,0.07,-0.9847,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,6,1,3,12,16,5,2,12,0,12,8,1,3,0,26,41,15,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,4,4,7,0,1,16,5,1,0,5,2,0,4,3,12,0,2,7,11,23,4,38,29,5,27,0,1,4,3,24,13,3,6,10,126,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133949665517314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401585359778608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113374334159846,0.0,0.22978417354264474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102613845197083,0.14983371708775287,0.13573005929122098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869239201842844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530166213968186,0.0,0.13000870967141115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792583853239234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354600646344334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34084883404431265,0.12841719971307622,0.11789398206329355,0.13969037221045616,0.0,0.0982919420532033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237525538358889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680577172950539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032025111137895,0.1374902852018129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820346887064142,0.12459824864946538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062004077546688,0.09034342127836784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792296721310347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327817449629098,0.09346869151998984,0.13077105199306194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520129201431995,0.10730890289993067,0.0,0.0,0.116177370262459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767274430755155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23380634291082025,0.19546522302466746,0.0,0.0,0.19586596365541326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229857350975677,0.2505559894072416,0.0,0.09461209969059954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847860767598054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240323451890868,0.09877993756501972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426928664913247,0.2449418786634929,0.07874742265732168,0.0,0.0,0.07166221756398841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200524921899743,0.12794009075801435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248782317208446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524252237788402,0.1746049775337766,0.0,0.0,0.07914162602129445
mentalhealth,Froasis,2019/02/28,"Come for the support, stay for the community. Hello, here to support a fellow Bipolar friend. She is talking real mental health , come share or just listen. We are all here to help. She streams Magic the gathering as anxiety.  


[https://www.twitch.tv/thasritebshh](https://www.twitch.tv/thasritebshh) .. she is online talking Mental Health, please show her some stream love and ask any questions :) great advice from a somebody living with",8.769375,13.2074571875,5.045625000000001,73.13687500000002,70.875,5.7,26.75,7.1686216300943375,1.90681875,356,12,43,4,8,95,50,64,0.021,0.652,0.327,0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,3,4,0,0,1,11,10,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,6,7,10,2,3,0,0,0,1,17,0,0,3,0,27,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576619395450774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231728900509828,0.0,0.13759951882823834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681535108380747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30988294292792434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896657161381126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983065334195533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823853003611254,0.0,0.0,0.12056259737455595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588278833940083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233906186657696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625318885577765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19744247285911368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20149477612069755,0.0,0.0,0.20473063682003248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917167367635861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082270902524313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891442529890557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jack_hess,2019/02/28,"Am I depressed or just a teenager? I'm 14. I've just moved several hundreds of miles away from where I've lived for as long as I can remember. To add to that, I moved from a pretty urban setting to a very rural one. Quite frankly, I hate it. I hate living out in the middle of nowhere. Now, logically I understand why they moved here (houses are much cheaper here and we can have the type of life that we never could where we used to live) but I still wish we didn't live here, even though I know that it is illogical. I don't have friends. I never really have. It's not that I am antisocial or anything like that, I just don't have any. I go to a very small school that is very far from my house because the public school near me is wildly underperforming. All these kids have known each other since they were tiny and it is a very tight knit community, one that I am not apart of. Now obviously this isn't about asking how to make friends,  I just feel that it is neccessary to talk about this and explain my situation. I want friends, but I feel very distanced from kids my own age. All they want to talk about is stuff that is just uninteresting to me. I get along much better with adults than kids. Anyway, I really have no one to talk to about anything, except my mom, but there are things that I go through that I really would like to talk about to someone other than my mom. I would like to add that I don't really have a confidence issue, I'm not that self conscious. I went through that when I was 10ish, mostly before other kids started really feeling that. I feel fortunate that I don't really care what people think. 

But still, I feel very alone all the time. I'm always tired, and there is just constantly negativity. I try to fill the void with stuff that I enjoy doing, but something just feels missing, and I always feel off and generally unhappy. I haven't really brought this up to my parents, just because I know that they will dissmiss it as I am just a teenager. I know I am, and I just can't tell if these are normal feelings or if I have some kind of a problem. Thoughts?",4.112961604304227,4.953438716312057,4.995074590364394,85.23000000000002,70.82033096926712,8.198548952474118,26.17013124643352,8.433251757073789,1.5041920436944651,1639,49,350,25,29,534,186,423,0.119,0.8029999999999999,0.077,-0.9616,1,1,1,0,0,0,47.0,4,0,4,2,31,15,2,0,13,0,41,2,0,3,6,82,75,23,0,10,24,3,9,3,3,3,2,0,0,6,36,18,0,1,19,0,0,8,15,5,0,3,6,9,54,10,48,65,9,34,0,2,0,0,28,13,0,7,15,254,90,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564547601787397,0.0,0.0,0.1215471510251124,0.0,0.0,0.04966843330289463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020831624732699,0.0,0.06828079256531239,0.0,0.0686217278435269,0.0,0.0,0.08904673283654035,0.0,0.062150069516321176,0.0,0.0,0.0645962910188032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446724174901155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892827176539531,0.0,0.058315004012448525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629076347488254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824099633552782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29544218652176696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928723526348322,0.0,0.03815940863220309,0.0,0.08301850541941944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422006541386792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685523925474217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762328323072381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605797347276527,0.12041953918032301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158899154413885,0.1070482237455254,0.0,0.2579760292975891,0.06463644708882438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048753519238200295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17108275132623355,0.0,0.2328839215919391,0.10738285953891487,0.0,0.11266301775067923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156186039583252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847758234168815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110020040544152,0.0,0.0,0.050635443308690006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430603636849621,0.0,0.06988762684351729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768504219459238,0.0,0.0,0.3275306763850345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273796388836238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783697470791524,0.0,0.0,0.07619469910317067,0.08251229795227717,0.0,0.060417896278880126,0.08209791882446597,0.0,0.0,0.06188497092839336,0.056228321154969035,0.0,0.0,0.05169676467090337,0.0,0.11665669067892298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672223703339714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348211305419565,0.06383854531551184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04852328846885235,0.04679988485385984,0.07175959235060309,0.05798411715376415,0.0425891212333549,0.08394658663067653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04958809623941196,0.0,0.0,0.07603526964587895,0.0,0.06308149415472054,0.0,0.3615846408507057,0.08615956340623399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770707868215341,0.06590555239348334,0.0,0.08399024549729299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376838463717993,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlexEquilibrium,2019/02/28,"Memory recall is horrible Lately, it’s like I can’t remember if any of my memories are real, or if they’re part of some imaginary scenario, or if I had a dream about it. They’re also incredibly choppy/fragmented. It’s comparable to trying to being hungover and trying remember the events of the previous night. 

It’s kind of scaring me, as my memory is usually excellent. Are there any causes for this sort of thing? I’ve recently been through an extremely stressful time, and also a very bad depressive episode, but it’s happened before and has never once caused this type of issue. 

It’s caused issues with quick memory recall, or a foggy memory, but not fragmented pieces where I can’t even determine if it’s real or not.

If anyone has any advice or some insight to share, I’d really appreciate it ",5.983529411764708,6.93770281045752,7.729941176470586,66.89373529411765,66.64705882352942,11.871633986928105,31.63986928104575,11.602472056035307,4.319303790849673,642,25,106,22,10,225,93,153,0.07400000000000001,0.841,0.084,0.3423,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,2,6,0,11,0,0,3,1,30,12,18,0,5,14,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,6,4,14,9,4,9,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,13,9,76,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776574173276993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254861210181165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876172886389701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857772280831584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771387867091795,0.0,0.0,0.11996509180520795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4344813003853704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142738112158492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931171211746837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466970252645733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942966531648756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681080554193476,0.0,0.0,0.15903356315308173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887656543352137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873382260628586,0.0,0.0,0.13230182901427082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014097055288372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266950476208666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209362096585441,0.09031652387598013,0.0,0.1392024773302491,0.0,0.31940969691230353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411473336884109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149412684795286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366201520221608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220759652281362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143471806557907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552714880944828,0.11632471471228392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheGreyRedPanda,2019/02/28,"I knew a murderer Recently a guy I knew for several years committed  murder. I didn't know him all that well but we went to the same middle school and high school, at one point we had a class together. He never seemed like the guy to kill, but I suppose everyone says that about every murderer. He killed his mother two days ago and while at this point I have absolutely no contract with him and I never met his mother, it still scares me. It seems so crazy to think of him as a killer and because of that it makes me wonder if I know anyone else who has a similar mentality. I feel very paranoid right now, which is rare for me. I can't stop thinking about if my current boyfriend were to kill me, or any of my 6 siblings, who I love so much. It's causing me to have trouble sleeping as I've mostly been thinking about it at night. What do I do?",3.712586206896553,4.4953692816092,4.78109195402299,86.61060344827587,71.70114942528734,8.098850574712644,27.143678160919546,8.344100000000001,1.613940229885058,661,22,143,10,12,217,110,174,0.279,0.6659999999999999,0.055,-0.9945,1,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,2,0,0,0,8,11,6,1,7,0,11,2,1,2,4,32,26,14,6,2,5,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,13,7,0,1,11,0,0,1,5,8,1,2,8,2,25,3,19,18,4,21,0,0,0,1,18,8,0,7,13,99,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662550973463147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946953656132972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199415532355694,0.1348051331805359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020154240219914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515474251910456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484932330102436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990668890567414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085020900993232,0.12571715484143425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652383050712192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605424717211529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900692771294598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43667556518845857,0.0,0.144610700022013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427660609451595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874364408451107,0.0,0.0878214689272561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258779818368913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671630489115066,0.0,0.20294394881117955,0.0,0.0,0.12346597853143727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891526710123639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487451948301748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990576325082825,0.0,0.0,0.11235682719170224,0.0,0.1046267334033159,0.1317207313064674,0.2663040634497998,0.0,0.23954587839867686,0.0,0.14863237206176094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166122872752842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506894779801076,0.10999524536505732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529069509881889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128521072960165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855590460350502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829382611746694,0.12196319772503705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267794595678066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472432772135569
mentalhealth,qaws87,2019/02/28,Has anyone been on Latuda before? I was prescribed some.,2.265000000000001,4.741069500000002,2.8800000000000026,83.32000000000005,104.0,2.0,15.0,3.1291,-0.7040000000000001,45,1,6,0,2,14,10,10,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6348738885976506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.772615781340828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yvonaukon,2019/02/28,"How do I love myself? I've been told the first step to coping with loneliness is loving yourself. Become your own best friend. Don't use others as a vessel for your happiness. 

This all sounds helpful, but I dont really know how to love myself. I've always dealt with body dysmorphia, anxiety, and depression. I've always hated parts of my body that I was born with. 

I feel that I don't *love* myself. How do I?",1.107926829268294,3.60845662195122,3.0055609756097565,88.11931707317076,86.43902439024393,6.206829268292682,16.736585365853657,7.554174236665415,0.5067717073170734,321,7,63,6,10,107,54,82,0.158,0.628,0.214,0.5122,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,2,3,9,1,0,2,0,8,6,2,4,1,12,17,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,3,2,12,7,8,14,4,3,0,1,0,4,9,0,0,0,2,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28779361529999725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229575240096889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909944932711119,0.0,0.0,0.18148591750890747,0.0,0.0,0.3841863601493821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894973252475258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026799886092926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874417605165304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709947978814308,0.0,0.0,0.13361011220672495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18409384620570807,0.0,0.17073873667217354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591551821479693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950412363739256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6243268440644792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727309844745527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078738542851876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652479910231173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14936138863149373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arieswanxiety,2019/02/28,"I feel like I deserve to die All I do is hurt the people I care about. I feel like I’m going to always abuse people like my parents did to me, like that is always going to be a part of who I am and I cannot make myself a better person. I feel like I’ve tried so hard but my abusive tendencies and behaviors always come back.  I’m not at a point where I would actually kill myself, but these thoughts and feelings having slowly been getting worse and I’m worried ",3.0162244897959205,3.865266948979592,4.800612244897959,85.58010204081633,73.38775510204081,6.824489795918367,24.20408163265306,6.868970318607317,0.8456979591836729,363,10,76,3,7,124,61,98,0.279,0.62,0.102,-0.9714,1,0,0,0,1,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,1,0,4,0,10,0,0,1,1,16,24,7,2,1,3,1,5,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,5,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,3,5,14,7,7,19,2,7,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,50,17,0,0.0,0.34745047538674784,0.1430836869532103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36600826490543137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274465865845122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967684390087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494927453528869,0.0,0.0,0.12630342858946456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217236494276482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965496137553992,0.3142442355763201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660488858574396,0.0,0.16665937932912986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134613311195634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569638201986552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221752065624362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581649343838517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787253113386722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628083882593878,0.15877929688089648,0.0,0.2033009751560192,0.12802625457142025,0.0,0.0,0.1386068926129086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164029263954131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954794174649632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489035954408867,0.14942218790616427,0.10415734714957578,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ruska_Shadowsong,2019/02/28,"I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm at the end of my rope. 

I've been struggling with depression for years. After an abusive relationship I have PTSD and 7,000 in debt. I've been fighting, taking responsibility for my poor decision. But after an injury, I added another 15,000 in medical debt alone, plus because I had to miss so much work because of it (was getting to prove it was work related but that fell through, so fuck me, right?) that my insurance is dropping me because I was no longer full-time at work. So I'll no longer be able to pay for my psych meds, anything that kept me remotely healthy,  and the pain meds (because I'm at the point of screaming in pain on a regular basis).
I had been trying to see a therapist, but now I won't be able to afford one at all for god knows how long. I got ESAs for ongoing treatment since that'll be the only thing I can do on my own anymore. Well, since I'm on a month to month basis with my landlord, they don't have to give me a reason why, but they're evicting us. We have no place lined up where to go, so my boyfriend and I might be homeless for a while. 
My ESA dog is just a puppy right now and he's been great, the only difficulty is potty training and chewing things that don't belong to him. Well, he figured out how to get on the table and the first thing he did was eat my glasses. So now I'm mostly blind with no way to replace them for who knows how long.
My boyfriend is the light of my life and I love him and want him to be happy, but I've been thinking lately that he could be so much happier if I weren't around to fuck things up. He's so smart, responsible and understanding, but it's been 3 years and I still haven't found any way to be financially responsible, or emotionally stable for him. 
I lost my best friends because I was such a neurotic bitch after my ex, and honestly, I'm not sure that I've improved even though I've tried to consciously improve how I treat people when I'm having a breakdown. Of course, that also means that I have no one to talk to except my boyfriend about my depression and now he's tired of it. He doesn't know what else to say to get me out of my spiral. I almost got run off the road today and I was terrified, but I was still thinking that this shit was all my fault and  if I was gone, he wouldn't have to deal with all this bullshit. 
I'm going nowhere in life, the world is a fucking mess and that's not getting any better, and I'm a general fucking failure. 
I don't know where else to go. My family is unhelpful, I'm out of hope and I just want to stop existing. I'm supposed to hold on, supposed to see how it's going to be okay, or at least have faith, but I know how shitty I am and I know it's not going to change even when I need it the most. I'm screaming at myself, but I'm not listening. I don't know how to change. I don't know how to be better. I would rather end this fucking parasite.",4.466919191919196,4.118611564935069,5.5843073593073616,85.50261183261185,69.71428571428571,8.792496392496393,28.961760461760463,8.344100000000001,1.7315297258297253,2268,73,515,30,36,757,250,616,0.196,0.6809999999999999,0.123,-0.9932,4,1,0,0,2,0,66.0,2,0,2,8,37,35,8,1,23,1,58,16,1,9,5,95,116,52,0,10,21,1,0,0,1,5,7,4,1,0,28,28,2,3,19,0,4,8,20,19,2,3,25,9,62,16,78,76,10,65,1,4,4,6,27,30,7,9,24,337,90,5,0.14112035882619414,0.08360227451859742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065582728541768,0.07307906603526097,0.0,0.056426949983963075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959666832251155,0.07398850037001027,0.0,0.0,0.06997673789199084,0.0,0.0,0.058065015540058475,0.06281351930440943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150641522715831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404855507691815,0.12480948935745036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928662774629822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05633656172730377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274444668782215,0.1215467582713136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220067890769999,0.11788795163035312,0.0793707046992269,0.12499075117836407,0.0,0.0,0.0932086660668991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665178574555154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06001845256309603,0.0,0.07736559474210929,0.05451461958246594,0.32615874437912423,0.14745912591734409,0.06768775360625665,0.2005048801021788,0.0,0.112866842543427,0.07779284690225531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511262304644667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008217910143688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34900226367596,0.0,0.07959495576305899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967748286376904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488707676246848,0.059252779671712386,0.0,0.077024770997452,0.0,0.06368331677365277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686072080627095,0.15675290534829495,0.07108195745132811,0.0,0.07485319982460441,0.0,0.0,0.1126409240483113,0.0,0.1037397012538499,0.05231947897002455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562680736422167,0.10732839201423673,0.1501620115161639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04891754404990616,0.0,0.07372036951804388,0.0,0.06670217661090075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082481073807333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725476162179501,0.0,0.07575522627967966,0.0,0.12051601536902926,0.0,0.05611228674752287,0.0,0.0,0.112454655070027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242901019052007,0.1167362191185778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269890085119763,0.058991469465036576,0.0,0.07376481978001087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066502134051421,0.0,0.053052473595973364,0.05671359944015517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192580672395887,0.1875081915764744,0.09042422774548244,0.06932501801976919,0.0,0.0,0.0810985464136469,0.06688279969839188,0.0,0.0,0.09581146025934444,0.0,0.0,0.07345563520741304,0.08487520798821142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323644393811024,0.11201477222421437,0.0,0.0,0.12688415045852036,0.0,0.06366958698648009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541059529412467,0.0,0.0,0.050123926984615735,0.0,0.0,0.09087688427136048
mentalhealth,orantte,2019/02/28,"I am being sent inpatient in 2 days, I'm scared It's supposed to be a good hospital. But I'm terrified. I've never been before.",0.058095238095241086,2.028598142857142,4.064285714285717,82.54738095238098,85.42857142857143,8.019047619047619,23.619047619047624,8.841846274778883,2.159104761904762,100,4,21,3,3,38,24,28,0.248,0.647,0.104,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4587424269766508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476809900126475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521794212092167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.415794435916822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5397425988106804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brokennoodle,2019/02/28,"Genetics or just bad luck? So, it’s not the first time... but I’m going through a rough patch at the moment. Have had problems with depression, anxiety, and psychotic episodes for years. 

I’m 25 and it’s only just occurred to me. My sister has had the same, my dad has ocd and anxiety, one of my grandparents was sectioned, the other was bipolar. My cousins are all either addicted to something or on the brink of a break down... 

Funny thing is, that’s all on my dads side. I could go on, but have I just been dealt a bad hand or could it be genetics?    ",1.6068058968058985,3.727094594594597,3.122031122031121,90.65218673218672,80.53153153153153,6.91924651924652,24.505323505323506,8.00094639256281,1.3955333333333333,424,16,91,8,11,139,73,111,0.16399999999999998,0.753,0.083,-0.8723,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,8,0,14,3,1,0,2,21,18,9,0,3,10,4,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,2,5,2,8,1,12,10,5,15,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,4,4,68,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27809277345010697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3902961570232688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4259897443375997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073475002024525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197141901346069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21698490170502924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28995437131347235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285994981691552,0.19401233784630809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24409284172998935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19638570253864587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947473976997476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874878570292904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642737438136249
mentalhealth,Throowaawaay9966,2019/02/28,"What can i do in regards to my suicidal cousin? My cousin who's a lot older than me (30s) tried committing suicide in 2017. It was something unexpected for the whole family. As far as it seemed, she was absolutely fine, even more so since she went to work abroad like she'd always wanted. Pretty much her dream job become reality. My reaction to everything was ask a lot of whys and lashing out at her husband. Everyone did. I had reasons to think that maybe he was metalling abusing her. This is because she attempted to commit suicide after he also went abroad to live with her. I feel like that played a role. It's 2019 and she's had ups and downs ever since (tried killing herself again, ran away when she was living with her mom, etc.), I mean you could see the sadness in her face, taste, smell, and hear it. The sadness is there. I saw her this December and she's smiley bc she left the husband and is with someone else (which I think was too fast to move on to. Apparently this guy she's loved since way back. Nobody knew of him.) But I look at her smiling and idk if I should believe her. I don't at all. I want to help her but idk how to approach her, idk what to ask, idk what to say to encourage her to get out of the state she's in. I'm really worried about her but I don't want to say something or ask something that will trigger her. I'm scared. And I feel extremely bad bc ever since it happened I've become distant with her. I deal with my own issues. Not as alarming as hers. But idk if this may be why I'm distancing myself from her. The conversations we have are very awkward. Idk if I should ask her anything more about her suicide attempt, or to keep approaching it from a ""hey you're normal, let's forget everything, let's ignore it, nothing happened, I'm not gonna look at you like everyone else is looking at you, OK?"" 
The reason I'm asking for advice is bc the following happened. It was time for me to go. I was done talking to her. Never mentioned anything related to the suicide. I got up and was gonna say bye. I had all that while been thinking why I hadn't made her feel comfortable enough to open up enough, why I hadn't asked more or said something encouraging. I'm not a person that can express her feelings very well. I hugged her and started crying. And the most absurd thing happened. She said I know how you're feeling, it gets better. I couldn't hear everything she said. I was furious at myself. SHE was comforting ME when it should've been the other way around. I wasn't crying about anything related to me. I left and slapped myself hard across the face (something I believe to be a kind of tick that I get when I do something stupid, or when I think a certain specific thought I don't want to think about.) Srry this was long but I had to vent and get it out that I wasn't crying for me, I was crying for her.",1.9599858934169283,4.010656656896554,3.313416927899688,90.0896394984326,78.98275862068967,6.218181818181819,24.16614420062696,7.277327726719843,0.9837517241379312,2231,79,468,29,55,727,246,580,0.151,0.753,0.096,-0.988,2,0,6,0,0,5,73.0,1,3,0,4,21,26,3,3,19,1,50,5,2,6,8,84,111,38,6,12,15,5,6,3,0,6,0,8,0,2,30,24,1,2,17,2,0,8,12,10,1,0,36,21,88,16,71,62,14,52,0,2,5,2,79,25,0,12,20,317,118,2,0.0,0.06865210052014874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05662050357130567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04633640250400962,0.04821260001735734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430446231223053,0.051580893775220765,0.32500913560427985,0.0,0.05443865839909935,0.044554019566179985,0.04837936488308808,0.03532106245923941,0.12798534255180266,0.0,0.13056216511755042,0.0,0.05124521825856578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626217792438248,0.0,0.2545873970528378,0.0,0.05973592339505108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929504669206333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680664254704073,0.0,0.0,0.11973968217623672,0.06462093361724182,0.038270314707468125,0.10482417859184837,0.0,0.11073262047963836,0.15622429509647506,0.0,0.05462280377796568,0.0,0.1464867321744601,0.0413939604383412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108975256216045,0.0,0.03292992029898202,0.0,0.04634171656394034,0.0,0.0,0.05737194473640896,0.2049525883096616,0.0,0.051904881829836685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306102709597885,0.0,0.03883747392845485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060476663109278316,0.05749875007472515,0.05150174087998178,0.06410452322349308,0.0603379449414753,0.03184354948023917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590886493410122,0.11849976829826753,0.0,0.08492298092524242,0.0,0.1023281501021856,0.05127707467849618,0.1459707098716219,0.0,0.0,0.09852087082851048,0.05229514974055794,0.05482636516800765,0.0,0.0,0.058210785772235665,0.06311610492929116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786127186030506,0.0,0.06158345008495787,0.0425942262900109,0.0,0.044688641121992966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056771110185041024,0.055597158920825056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059294443774722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589481066416662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037119293943099714,0.11914858225499485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534906698903046,0.13823402673151255,0.05801030801029649,0.0,0.0461724775329454,0.052748455200164766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172173712780846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049094286872095896,0.26764068442199285,0.0,0.0,0.041011828187643186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168971272682932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0465717918806009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03849426134212368,0.185635295462528,0.0,0.045999680356414746,0.03378659639155589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867797902129496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561686152096993,0.1367033791624342,0.09198373425555148,0.0,0.0,0.05209704820742809,0.10742610666940183,0.15685162554637813,0.06469046142230242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042182653653848115,0.0588431752216806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ragedeltaz,2019/02/28,"WE NEED HELP ASAP First off. Yes, we have gone to the school about this and they won’t do anything about.

There is an instagram account that goes by @berea_truths_and_rumors 
They keep posting pictures and false accusations slandering people. They have even called people sexual predators. Nobody will do anything about it.

They have said that they have been giving hints on who they are on their posts on Instagram. We need to find out who they are. It’s a group, not 1 person. If we can find out at least one person, then we will find out everyone else.
They have said their name starts with the letter A.

Their email starts with D and ends with G.
Please help us. We really need it. ",3.1957254464285683,5.998390335937502,2.633526785714285,92.4659375,79.234375,6.1571428571428575,18.517857142857142,7.447530270364453,0.3710294642857139,545,12,106,8,14,159,80,128,0.017,0.8809999999999999,0.102,0.8816,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,7,0,11,1,5,0,0,0,5,1,15,0,0,0,0,25,25,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,8,15,0,1,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,4,2,18,0,17,18,1,16,0,0,0,0,32,8,0,1,5,74,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536837546380106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739143272655684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876194864505006,0.0,0.13651991116784268,0.0,0.0,0.10180624319448726,0.0,0.0,0.14728481038481034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226361418453538,0.13110912183658566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478625581870501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20662998703003946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700432821221945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34287259916421525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444743409853004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137188137612608,0.2691735171098222,0.0,0.1691964858691227,0.0,0.0,0.2952418815493669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874431123090377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29323976829107656,0.0,0.0,0.15599519230044329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21819837052486868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185408212138316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pahysia,2019/02/28,"This helped me today. I hope it can help someone else.   

Today I felt a big relief from a long break-down, and I wanted to share some things I wrote down for myself.  

​

· Today I felt hope, and even if that hope disappears again tomorrow, I will still know that this kind of hope DOES exist. If I forget this feeling, I still know that I have planted this seed in my brain which can eventually grow, even if I can’t see it on some days.

​

· Today I learned about the strategy of ”so what?”. When I really worry about something, I should try to ask myself “so what?” a couple of times. Example: “What if I go back into my work field again only to have another stress breakdown?” – “so what?” – “Then I would have gotten nowhere” – “so what?” – “Then I would have to find another career path” – “so what?” – “Hmmmm….. then I would be able to leave this work field with good conscience because I gave it a good try and learned it was not for me.”

​

· I don’t have to feel swallowed by life and work (probably bad translation). To some degree, I can dictate my life instead of letting life/surroundings/others dictate me. It is okay and even necessary to say no sometimes, to set boundaries, to ask for another way of doing things, to ask for help, to make mistakes, and to take care of myself.

​

· I should set lower and shorter expectations for myself and not obsess so much about a distant future. I should not worry so much about making “the right choice” in life and doing everything perfectly right now. Everyone makes mistakes and learns along the way. I have worried so much that I might someday need to turn my life in a different direction than the one I am going now – but if that happens - so what? I have been so afraid of making a “wrong” choice and locking myself into a situation forever, but I realize that I always have the ability to evolve into a new direction if I no longer find happiness in something that previously made me happy. 

And if I find myself in that situation, it doesn’t mean that “past me” made a huge mistake, it just means I am evolving into a new person. This can of course be very scary because it is new territory, but I need to remember that I will eventually learn something about myself and become a better version of myself if I just dare to walk into that scary territory and let myself lean into the vulnerability and insecurity.

​

· Today I thought: ”I am so thankful to have had this breakdown, so I got the chance to learn about myself.” This is a complete shift of mind for me and it took me by surprise. It is also completely understandable, that I did not think of this before on my darkest days, but I am so glad that this suddenly popped into my mind.

​

· I obviously know that I will not feel this inspired and happy all the time. Bad days are totally okay and necessary. But I am writing this so I can read this on a bad day and remember that this “thought-seed” of hope has been planted in my head. I will know that it IS possible to feel joy and inspiration as I do right now, even if it seems impossible sometimes. 

​

If you feel anxious about reading this, that is absolutely okay and you don’t need to take any advice from me. 

Okay, maybe just take this one advice: If you are in a bad place right now, hug your blanket and don’t be hard on yourself. It is okay to be where you are at right now <3 ",5.319813524809773,6.1887996267281125,5.884618297431501,79.83795734647951,68.09370199692779,8.820790912013717,29.88607866252277,8.973190933345348,2.364855578180259,2651,96,506,45,43,859,251,651,0.099,0.752,0.149,0.9884,3,0,3,0,0,0,98.0,0,5,0,5,42,40,0,4,23,5,60,8,2,6,4,123,110,58,0,30,24,0,8,0,0,11,4,1,0,1,56,31,1,0,30,2,0,6,12,12,0,2,15,10,75,28,75,78,9,72,0,0,1,1,17,29,0,21,33,382,131,11,0.04396318964901378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592064022836021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03515734687885338,0.03658089560567352,0.3334386833195587,0.3739406120411708,0.029896476523339655,0.13829771270433255,0.0,0.04966589067896565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329894318238452,0.0,0.0,0.03380497915434556,0.14682970805307233,0.053599104716930496,0.0485538889549446,0.037409436349391305,0.0,0.0,0.03888186861384085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490774591480589,0.0,0.0,0.04482340184016707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921891358246108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864443315340252,0.0,0.11341048135871246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045932176095282995,0.0,0.0,0.03847248352455896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03672560371846915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614908854582855,0.0,0.0,0.042008711710735336,0.03951128009370063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114554816294886,0.0,0.0844231128236741,0.0,0.12054467663659325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049970587619275135,0.0737484753163752,0.035161378876121696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03887650341595943,0.14039889862069474,0.039382382675037284,0.0,0.04511891596040895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840279795240627,0.0,0.0,0.2183268350846009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04578089678155398,0.09664407717744797,0.0,0.0,0.04655067005483824,0.0,0.08991068002669039,0.15526250497539146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038906039398478566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319806606270451,0.1173830818819162,0.0,0.044166933056747765,0.0957776035569089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04663799677235212,0.08878057809780662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969540085843764,0.09779444420757114,0.0,0.1273797675449761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595811901649253,0.03343598678527281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041967839058581834,0.0,0.03838696146224381,0.045932176095282995,0.0,0.0,0.04956189073863652,0.0,0.0,0.047399754128300296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879501734249893,0.0,0.02816394503096677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960344752139354,0.18772161874735285,0.0,0.034961292962122185,0.0,0.0,0.03503297021691222,0.04002243671453293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883293430186167,0.0,0.0,0.03724986792366661,0.10153503371677916,0.08696143739744634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021812008653919,0.0,0.050359685206832365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916454198879847,0.0,0.0,0.04047539838800356,0.0,0.0,0.05841437943885128,0.028169836771293505,0.0,0.06980372369075946,0.05127057885389175,0.0,0.20835981653212907,0.0,0.04884472131558473,0.059696239904240674,0.047819325990421234,0.0,0.045767230869779435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036274235658121455,0.025930628301955617,0.06979186725069675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601717699063103,0.13394025933774806,0.0,0.09369056568338133,0.0480668464240648,0.3739406120411708,0.0
mentalhealth,TheGam3Tim3,2019/02/28,"Just seeing if I’m crazy So I don’t even know how to put this into words so bare with me. 

Backstory:
I’ve been pretty down on my lucky lately and by that I mean I’ve been going through A LOT like homelessness, car loss, unemployment some serious business.

While I’ve had a lot of people help me out but I find myself taking advantage of them. Not because I want cause I really truly don’t but I just find my motivation to find a job and etc. to go away.

I hate not having work and not being independent after being so for several years. So I don’t understand why I’m feeling the way I am. 

My problem: 

1. I find myself lying just to lie. They won’t even be bad lies but the fact that I am just frustrates the fuck out of me because that’s not the person I am.
Then sometimes it evolves into bigger more elaborate lies that I have to wiggle myself out of. 
I can see myself becoming more manipulative and deceitful and I don’t know how to stop it.

2. I have no motivation to do a damn thing. I’ve been shut down so much recently I don’t want to do anything. But at the same time I know exactly what I have to do how to do it I just won’t. Then I just feel bad about myself. 

The best part it is it’s that it’s my lively hood at stake, like I’m literally homeless and I don’t know why I won’t work on fixing my issues while people are helping around me.

3. I have pretty bad anxiety that’s a lot worse than I give it credit for. It’s pretty on and off but I can usually deal with when and have coping methods when my life is in literal shambles 


Is this normal? Like i feel like I’m losing my mind I just wanted to know if I was alone ",0.7800785427807497,2.6056812357954584,3.3987834224598927,89.13471925133692,81.8125,6.527540106951872,20.012032085561497,7.618777277803332,0.6063242647058824,1273,34,286,21,34,446,162,352,0.201,0.654,0.145,-0.9703,3,1,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,8,21,19,4,0,11,0,36,2,0,8,2,72,61,29,0,7,18,0,3,4,0,3,1,0,0,1,18,16,0,1,16,0,1,4,14,11,0,0,5,5,47,8,40,50,11,36,0,2,2,1,7,18,2,7,17,206,65,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112905774744176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469689167783879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035215319833701,0.08692327865808616,0.0,0.0,0.09173913686758373,0.0,0.2445843435765026,0.11904495366146815,0.10783940312532267,0.0,0.0,0.1024706664816305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030661243164124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066600120955137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889814054861552,0.12898501697727388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481142272873522,0.06975642519153552,0.0,0.0,0.3569769935555672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026969906603503,0.0,0.09366839390009307,0.11098592633197278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640258804196487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089655186552798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191428366222603,0.0968959533159155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26831114414142754,0.0,0.11014594622601788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896838224359593,0.19081442488139175,0.0,0.08622086256066118,0.0,0.0,0.10923792687573727,0.0,0.2490386405279173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636222785300699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859194348029217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177909357613398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566974647333193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573822738091447,0.0,0.13538720198473922,0.08525840259107742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980151559010981,0.0,0.09343149416125997,0.0,0.0981585310168124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255282711982546,0.0,0.0964110234252082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561820810706795,0.0,0.0,0.11030918679814104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657176495751847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163420861533219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341564358995929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486989969503082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693661970747677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016501657421457,0.0,0.0,0.10754034959039567,0.0,0.17277772423187454,0.07750474235236754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621586285749027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217103620071125,0.0,0.09950691047855788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287911282932677
mentalhealth,patman434,2019/02/28,"Feeling empty for a few months now (M/20) Hi reddit

So I've been feeling very different the last few months, before I go into whats going on with me now, Ill give you some back story!

So when I was young I was a pretty normal kid from the ages of well birth till 10 or 11, normal childhood with no real trauma, maybe my father was a bit too liberal with how he shown his frustration with me and my brother, but it wasn't anything horrific, I do remember him grabbing my throat and aggressively telling me to stop complaining about the food he made, you know just remarks kids make, they don't have that social filter yet. my father is very chilled and layed back nower days, like when he found out I smoke cannabis he was very calm about it. so 11 or 12 was when things got worse, I started secondary school (middle school) I didn't fit in well at all! I was very anti social and have always rathered the company of myself and very close friends, even before starting secondary school I was getting into a lot of fights and was a bully which pains me to say. I would put others down to give myself control and power. Back to secondary school, I was bullied a lot because I was different, I was over weight and weird, I didn't know social norms and was often seen as 'lower' than others. the bullying I got was often just verbal until year 8 (I was like 12 -13 ) things got very physical often getting physically attacked each day. this drove me into a deep and dark depression and issues with my weight and self image, as well as many personality based self esteem issues. 

Years later things smoothed out, I found who I was (at the time) and thought I had found my footing, multiple LSD experiences helped me to find many aspects of myself, My love for creativity and knowledge, and many of my political and world views were established in that era! now I am 20 things have happened in the years since my school days, lost love, a job that wore me down and made me feel helpless, and the rising fear of mortality and that I may never achieve what I want out of life.

Now for the past few months I've felt very empty, like I can experience emotions and I know that they are there, but I feel like my empathy has dropped off the face of the earth, now I understand what people are going through, but cant actually feel sad for them nor do I feel that other peoples emotions impact me anymore, obviously those close to me I care about and care if they are struggling, but I feel distanced from my emotional response.

I have social anxiety disorder and depression but now I feel like it could be more than that? I just don't feel like myself, not completely anyway. I love being by myself, I know how to entertain myself, I often talk to myself and host/ commentate what I am doing, make jokes with myself, have in depth conversations with myself and often see myself as three different minds... I guess its kinda like I'm split up into my ego, superego and ID, the one that overthinks and is very negative, cynical and mostly based in reality. The one that is ambitious and feels like they can do anything, the one with all the confidence and doesn't doubt himself, and the one that doesn't really do much but holds the peace of the two conflicting ego and superego.

Does anyone relate or have any ideas on what is going on with me? any personal stories that may lead me to some answers, that would be amazing! thank you to anyone who actually takes the time to read this or reply to this!",7.2348393773803625,6.762127856929957,7.136990809736713,77.0917885825468,64.02235469448584,10.018893856598773,32.051705580394106,9.372597083632963,2.686951283325054,2756,90,520,43,36,879,309,671,0.133,0.715,0.151,0.9497,7,0,1,0,1,0,72.0,0,3,5,6,37,39,5,3,27,0,57,12,3,8,4,129,110,57,1,8,16,3,15,8,1,4,3,1,0,6,35,50,3,4,25,3,0,8,13,17,3,6,35,19,82,22,71,67,14,76,0,5,3,3,45,29,0,20,46,372,117,10,0.0,0.0,0.1043130341951788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044472147111691535,0.0,0.0,0.07269152272264133,0.0,0.040886773369832034,0.0,0.05300501654933428,0.07474270560760743,0.0,0.08796457801129975,0.0,0.0,0.060803625805592426,0.0,0.12329222517667568,0.0,0.03258076696264098,0.0,0.0909588422672496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835023091503477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898546291322674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056038114193354215,0.0,0.05994530337867202,0.0426730435948216,0.0,0.0,0.10340659094354236,0.0,0.092067565990759,0.0,0.0,0.16752207336493427,0.0612548394870839,0.0,0.04677178944713847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18036188780084714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03530120891776256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456275297467008,0.0,0.0601426821679104,0.2702438574492223,0.1527300579090696,0.051317457254095575,0.0,0.048849547504266254,0.0,0.06462826869235883,0.1758054784999035,0.041292983928591966,0.0,0.05584765484255145,0.10254237645729224,0.12150054213092627,0.0,0.12823923428924616,0.0,0.05887784527870318,0.0,0.047262964738200096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035824366521841025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060335105259903675,0.0,0.11156946763508953,0.053037854650878916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749219220981955,0.04356640082071032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03775116408644975,0.20889185535239485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05834366368621353,0.09087737768716242,0.1447138875513505,0.1011455999665294,0.0713525133740393,0.1625604669804956,0.05369464885565242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053966187328862436,0.0,0.12798254583963115,0.0,0.039289660731760566,0.0,0.041221585674354036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473333373160744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448681564643415,0.0,0.056871327138604565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102116505544428,0.07410677633816456,0.09333563703426492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054374766546090816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05372895072139575,0.0,0.0,0.053461417309425836,0.060834334457019884,0.034239487194744615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054497979972988,0.0,0.0,0.042503162869126185,0.0,0.27045585323507376,0.04259030238189115,0.0,0.11151365833156164,0.0,0.0,0.044211872492809716,0.0,0.0,0.21792975468105866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566005798582348,0.0,0.0,0.04468404657687957,0.0,0.055874360694450786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040185457705646216,0.04295863693357165,0.046714993395135455,0.04920677423863951,0.0,0.0,0.1420311248716314,0.0,0.0,0.042430911238240124,0.06233069714504805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220990772103777,0.055640163818731284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35279467445339324,0.031524398116822165,0.0,0.0,0.13016798208181785,0.14416569057455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446701202797191,0.07593436502964697,0.0,0.0,0.10325425776899608
mentalhealth,skimask7,2019/02/28,"Uncontrollable internal monologue Vs. Hearing voices? Someone confided in me and said they have a lot of scary, self-critical internal monologue.  Sometimes suicidal.  They say they don't hear voices, but the internal monologue feels like it's not their own thoughts.

I of course urged them to see a therapist, and they're planning to.  Is this a sign of a serious mental health disorder?  Is it ""on the way"" to hearing voices?  Or is it common with the general population to have self-criticizing internal monologue that doesn't necessarily feel like theirs?  Personally, I've never had that, but I get intrusive/racing thoughts so I could kinda comprehend how it feels.

Thoughts?",5.4250000000000025,8.603907846153849,5.9629273504273534,69.67721153846155,73.1025641025641,10.053846153846157,35.391025641025635,10.125756701596842,4.765969230769231,546,30,82,18,12,176,77,117,0.11,0.833,0.057,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,6,1,2,4,0,1,7,0,9,1,0,1,1,21,21,7,1,1,5,0,3,2,0,0,1,8,0,1,7,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,12,10,2,10,15,2,5,0,0,1,0,12,2,0,3,4,54,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585196006817326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065366244573056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391021330418709,0.22521685272426345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235335747177437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754963317123767,0.5329696744560692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401672357843293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340084412115025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885047067281752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215712992842426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376334082999328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14993892858529914,0.12535094536414676,0.0,0.0,0.12560793848104235,0.0,0.32887770107643965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355644952776893,0.0,0.15589667121014392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17241784280833944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830165533758428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754135794142803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511660464162688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,myborderlinelife,2019/02/28,"Borderline Personality Disorder Heya, my channel is about helping people who has mental health (especially those with borderline personality disorder) and to also educate people about mental health. I also write my own songs. My channel offers people a lifeline to people who need it the most and to also those people that don't think good about themselves. Please do checkout my channel and if you like what you see please do subscribe. Every subscription and share we get brings us one step closer to those who need our help the most. Please remember always be yourself, never let people bring you down and always follow your dreams no matter how big or small

Many thanks
Robert High
My Borderline Life

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjPShjDYoGgso53ehVGISeQ",9.566016260162598,12.198386739837403,7.583902439024388,65.03162601626018,59.65040650406504,9.369105691056909,30.739837398373986,9.725611199111238,3.3056764227642272,631,21,83,12,9,186,81,123,0.053,0.778,0.16899999999999998,0.9168,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,3,4,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,1,1,19,16,11,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,9,7,0,0,2,5,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,2,13,4,9,14,3,10,0,0,1,0,17,5,0,4,2,58,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891420074939641,0.20056639707576115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762552126957827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154421323285084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296729326318322,0.0,0.0,0.1010873690975324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562165578166751,0.0,0.0,0.16156548733214238,0.12733714473431545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232409762870052,0.0851276074800147,0.05888051500706387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218946496761245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24291381624065986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787297167367785,0.09295329163769413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081668207181698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5013248772894563,0.21046872767035898,0.0,0.3968878828370152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652689658719155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603970185709128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095962373907654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722504566774953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449720274393347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AutonmousBiscuit,2019/02/28,"Mum wants to speak to my therapist Because of my mood swing tonight my mum wants to drive down with me and speak to my therapist about it.

Idk what she thinks she’ll learn cuz legally my therapist cannot tell my mum the shit I’ve talked about and my feelings n all.

It’s not drugs I’m worried about at all, it’s the personal problems in my life, including the relationship I have with my parents.

I know they love me, but I feel so disconnected. They don’t understand and I don’t blame them because I never tell them much. I just don’t want her involved in this, not now, it’s too much.",2.0288971684053685,3.894202426229512,3.1469299552906134,92.25477645305516,78.01639344262296,7.059314456035768,25.02533532041729,8.00094639256281,1.2412032786885248,464,17,105,8,11,149,71,122,0.055,0.863,0.08199999999999999,0.2603,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,4,0,7,4,1,0,3,0,6,4,1,1,3,23,16,6,0,4,4,4,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,6,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,0,4,24,1,14,15,4,8,0,0,0,1,20,4,1,0,3,68,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20656793951764515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19648693923207952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713394803277554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931152115066194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967459496383707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529186918023754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491035361756025,0.0,0.13067614439778624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18813381197233173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794119370979408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621232201898304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18190619909222866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739191682845504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361827535556455,0.2961814846556124,0.0,0.0,0.5901696625009245,0.0,0.1085649689323343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638433753936242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998055557283004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206607918781242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,squish-squish-beep,2019/02/28,"I grew up with a schizophrenia mother and now I’m too scared too have my vaccinations My mum suffered from an extreme paranoia which ultimately made me very scared of pretty much everything. I know realise it was even harder for me growing up because I am autistic. My mum told me that the government is trying to reduce the population by forcing people to take vaccines which have poison in them. She says it will not act immediately but will take affect later. Now I’m 21 I know how silly this is. I’ve realised that all the things she told me were not true. It was a very hard realisation. My boyfriend who is my world wants me to get vaccinated because he is worried about me. I want to do it to make him happy and for myself. I booked an appointment but being afraid of needles and the fear of veins made it even worse. I became so so scared. Stupidly I left my doctors note where my mum found it. She went crazy at me and started shouting at me and telling me all the fears I had tried so hard to push down. She kept saying if I have it I will die. She made me cry I was so upset, I ended up not going to get it done. I feel pretty emotionally scarred again not to mention I feel like a failure to my BF. The two main people in my life have completely opposite views and I can’t do one thing without displeasing the other. Whatever I do people are angry at me. I’m so scared of everything. I wish I could braver. ",2.6853496503496497,4.577208472027973,4.096075524475527,86.07165174825174,76.16783216783217,6.673902097902098,25.07636363636364,7.554174236665415,1.2258449230769228,1117,39,227,15,25,369,157,286,0.214,0.703,0.084,-0.9919,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,0,16,15,2,8,12,0,25,4,1,6,3,34,50,15,1,5,8,4,4,1,1,3,3,3,0,0,17,7,0,1,5,1,0,6,6,11,0,2,14,8,47,4,29,31,4,24,0,1,1,0,20,12,0,1,7,163,64,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931615456860576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121029540327257,0.0,0.0,0.08468667891932108,0.0,0.11651073359732647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008185329729483,0.0,0.0,0.10856510755037026,0.0,0.10854440508453317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931224019313914,0.09394477838533744,0.0,0.0,0.14011384673978192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19065418464672726,0.0,0.0,0.23871201044205245,0.10726235045722547,0.07577501090784786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162981034064766,0.0,0.0,0.11083231978846142,0.0,0.06028089710253193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291137399390702,0.1900322146118397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658441394144653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152432083418036,0.0,0.07491897559910013,0.051819474288788095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301092360430099,0.07080122345582007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779721951598371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187443183463506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22060261859049807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158186062154064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869908512408502,0.424770345789506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507548674639405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949989348109195,0.0,0.09270812000042393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093375179376086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20270506701569965,0.0,0.14402643901219714,0.0,0.10361303809404067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503444096677065,0.12512332641621746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832611229344546,0.0,0.0,0.12197298230942112,0.10224578114210836,0.0,0.0,0.10771721760996908,0.1080923686415328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,looptty,2019/02/28,"I'm scared of success in approach-relationships So I'm 21 male, forever alone.
I did notice recently, every time girls give me attention or anything like that I'm trying my best to fuck this up(and this works great so far).
I can not approach girls who is in ""my league"", but I easily go for girls who won't ever date me(like these who 190+ cm). Or when I get attention on tinder I start acting really weird and stuff. 
So I find out, that I'm not scared of failure, but actually scared of success, and doing my best to stay lonely, meanwhile I literally crying every night because of loneliness.
I can not say I'm sociophobic or anything, I feel comfortable around people(and I feel better in group of a lot of people).
Don't really feel like I need friends, but I really feel that it would be nice to have a gf, but everytime fucking everything on my own.
I feel like I don't fear of women(as they were only ones who actually act nice to me thru my life, meanwhile males abused me all my life know). But I'm not even sure now.
Would like to find a core of my fear of success. ",4.173888888888886,5.119497129629629,5.540814814814817,80.9856666666667,70.75925925925925,8.908148148148149,27.825925925925933,9.21078282632365,2.2233281481481484,844,29,170,17,15,284,118,216,0.13,0.607,0.262,0.9894,0,3,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,1,7,8,25,2,5,3,0,13,4,0,0,3,33,32,14,0,3,12,0,5,4,2,3,2,1,0,5,12,4,0,0,10,0,0,4,7,9,0,1,2,6,25,16,23,26,5,21,0,1,0,2,15,8,2,4,12,103,37,4,0.0,0.13348600387489826,0.2198836489696677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668381689527803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18542239272813274,0.10029303304898957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867768712940961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23646355955852144,0.09964035115029422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375387647287435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441216421098948,0.10190919581249963,0.18984512628039046,0.0,0.1012533081173092,0.0,0.0,0.2535520611769208,0.2848263687565141,0.16097145816676395,0.0,0.0,0.20594198680209866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704235336569564,0.20830833929686307,0.05886122586656725,0.10807562105452047,0.06402839003214349,0.0,0.0,0.12421021225593358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061916068657829164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591529529598305,0.2201637779464165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578117235694164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353741824299016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057256206144478,0.0,0.0,0.1282663919210722,0.0,0.0,0.07634266203801121,0.08568449982250169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810561987932177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165224156688932,0.0,0.11124009710569988,0.12095678600782117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959331512616958,0.3383828378670139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974271748270374,0.12008266271307813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897099382541422,0.0,0.0,0.1061825670987248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569409679634199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649007774658972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201925107067151,0.0,0.0,0.16006365257933608,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cjshen,2019/02/28,"Seperation anxiety Looking for advice on how to cope with seperation anxiety. Long story short I have a dark past and thought I was fine. Turns out not, and now have a girlfriend that has been instrumental in helping me sort out my feelings. We're in love and shes the only one that has ever seen my true self, shes truly something special. Also has pretty much taught me it it is ok to feel feelings. Shes changed me so much (for the better) in just over a month and a half. That being said we hang out a lot and now she has spring break. So theres a minimum of 11 days we won't get to see each other and I'm already freaking out. Journaling takes the edge off but I'd like suggestions for more fulfilling pain relief.",1.3629336734693889,3.69823605442177,2.9237372448979606,90.46478954081637,83.01360544217688,6.123979591836736,22.792942176870746,7.413659706084162,0.9855717687074832,568,20,118,9,16,186,99,147,0.063,0.784,0.153,0.8841,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,2,0,0,1,9,10,0,0,9,1,14,2,0,1,2,26,28,11,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,1,1,1,0,1,6,14,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,6,7,13,8,18,20,5,21,0,0,3,1,12,11,0,2,9,81,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774591818725314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21201877111203596,0.15364523246695688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29395582191667863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992220040120634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20324666343659328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239071013563151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737913866587795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914380936196613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037930318484208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877980135921135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386436610622888,0.0,0.0,0.1700278319733887,0.16133969866457468,0.0,0.0,0.1633409294127188,0.17340363093762107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335527585324318,0.0,0.2824733663565093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019136291899955,0.1461225154471294,0.2044384569223039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18340856067754385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954639345957432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18275836752414865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310167947351674,0.0,0.2004321103629591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479100410383757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445685334608846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252870744886748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089808279199447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MisHere14,2019/02/28,"Am I broken? Hi. I just discovered the subreddit and maybe someone on here might be able to fix me... hopefully.

So, currently I am 15 years old and kind of feeling completely neutral about everything life gives me. I don't want more friends, have a work ethic, want a relationship or even sex, none of that. Really, I don't feel angry, sad, happy, upset, none of it. Even with family I don't like to talk to or have strong feelings for. Maybe there's something wrong with me...",3.211195652173913,5.209704467391305,4.414565217391306,83.8951086956522,74.97826086956522,8.513043478260869,25.630434782608692,9.188382445141503,2.178778260869566,369,13,73,9,8,121,67,92,0.162,0.6729999999999999,0.165,0.3186,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,0,1,3,0,9,2,0,0,0,14,16,5,0,3,3,0,3,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,3,9,6,11,14,3,4,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,4,4,47,11,1,0.19383514971359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032324666066487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560525765659811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420653399997005,0.0,0.18273052826342204,0.0,0.2940266273693476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975655583984127,0.0,0.0,0.1859443380554956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20634112122007967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19252203992922626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184948027022864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369114986291134,0.09469806315846106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894669222043974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20562846233140847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033973830426084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417576033920065,0.0,0.0,0.20810641001265665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16423589333348892,0.14922376817812627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579735099480996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22865798679326604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111429755698462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21192830746023328,0.0,0.12482348128053443
mentalhealth,GuyNamedRyRy,2019/02/28,"Suggestions on Finding a Therapist? US, Texas Hey all, as the title says I'm on the search for a therapist. I've had a few in the past, but they were military contractors so availability was once or twice a month at best. That was also back when I still had access to my parents' military benefits including health care, so it's been a few years. 

​

I've been looking through Psychology Today's local therapists, but I'm curious if anyone has any other recommendations on where to look, how to figure out if they'll be a good fit before setting up an appointment, and if possible ways to go about the whole process budget-friendly.  

​

Sorry if the post should be made elsewhere. Thank you all in advance for any help offered, and I hope your day is excellent. ",6.714741248097411,7.3848258013698675,7.1435159817351614,72.7406773211568,64.95890410958904,10.872450532724507,35.400304414003045,10.746095033038511,4.003999391171993,621,28,109,16,9,203,105,146,0.009000000000000001,0.745,0.246,0.9911,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,2,2,3,9,7,0,0,12,0,13,1,0,2,2,18,22,15,0,6,7,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,3,8,7,17,10,6,24,0,0,2,0,11,11,0,6,8,76,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469689802815227,0.0,0.2837041303522336,0.31816493241382543,0.1780605552945083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154250156159714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066961160528164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140351279233422,0.0,0.13739275332484702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348194754017564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443274774865513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965876114170156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114868106624696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440501034406731,0.10980971667936706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916213209222078,0.0,0.0,0.08775310183406239,0.0,0.0,0.1300333752056274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21988011873535415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238799313941652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449931586090147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139425821978286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537147397648267,0.0,0.12497821810954438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759294091860334,0.12538543543302488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411305883804628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655453123661324,0.0,0.0,0.10455310214052063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053380115057913,0.0,0.4560255960081229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240971142663214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748097315884516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391842185815768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461678135746261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31816493241382543,0.08430836584627484
mentalhealth,Xayton,2019/02/28,Work medical clearance So I applied to and accepted a new job that is going to be great.  However they needed me to do a DOT physical.  Okay not an issue.  Well because I disclosed that I take medication for Bi Polar I need to get a work medical clearance from my doctor.  Okay that's annoying but shouldn't be a huge deal...or so I thought.  I go to a mental health clinic because I can't afford private practice and all.  Well as it turns out they don't write medical clearances and their providers can't make that kind of determination according to MULTIPLE people that I have spoken to.  I very litterly can't get the clearance my job wants from my doctor because my doctor doesn't write those.  WTF!  I AM GOING TO LOSE A LIFE CHANGING CAREER JOB BECAUSE I CAN'T GET THE STUPID LETTER THAT I NEED.  It is causing me so much stress trying to figure out what to do that I am throwing up and had to leave my current job early one day.  I don't know what to do...,2.7136213235294133,4.670153781250002,4.363664215686274,83.89334558823529,76.29166666666666,7.01764705882353,26.919117647058826,7.928766900206844,1.762751470588236,754,30,146,12,17,253,106,192,0.096,0.7979999999999999,0.106,0.4241,7,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,3,3,5,11,2,1,9,2,19,11,0,2,1,22,34,9,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,4,0,0,4,9,4,2,1,2,0,24,7,20,29,2,12,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,4,98,36,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26694800674135843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246444905069304,0.11581360517630765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060449540662599,0.11286739816763393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361672695756337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159379825020718,0.0,0.186657251521866,0.0,0.0,0.12070029570216675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637039392974136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426698085611699,0.4345615803680991,0.0,0.0,0.11400488130548375,0.060166452177998236,0.0,0.0,0.1159217924370338,0.0,0.0,0.0773278144173162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247829892463125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307766589345024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4411517832349907,0.11032845311710243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047920288305524,0.243530485158868,0.0,0.10573489745426068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418538069713625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589852109752608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540710947583947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231411377463979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691360145278144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432863075116489,0.11908103525492268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033112545574973,0.06457318247492665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686841515781608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594031227819175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toofastgiraffe,2019/02/28,"Bipolar II is ruing my school career I used to be an extremely successful student. I worked hard, my GPA average was 3.89, all of my teachers told me I was going to easily get into an Ivy league university. I was offered scholarships, letters from the likes of Cornell and Brown asking me to come and visit. I was on the perfect path. And then the storm of bipolar hit my senior year of highschool and everything went to hell. Failed 2 classes, started averaging C's. Lost any hope on my scholarships and basically screwed myself over. I was constantly depressed with little patches of being okay, hoping this was it I would return to normal. I am now a student (22) at a community college desperately holding on to a 2.2 GPA (expect my psych and biology- all are above a 3.5). But that's the only place I can excel again. I'm barely able to get out bed, class is exhausting and I never finish my homework on time. I've always been told how intelligent and a creative thinker I am. My professors see me struggle and tell me theres no reason I should be struggling like I am. That I am their brightest student and I will no doubt be important to my field of study. (I am not trying to be one of those people humble bragging or ""look at me, I am so smart""). I feel like I've thrown that all out of the way. I'm worried nowhere will want to accept my transfer degree, and even if they do I'm scared of failing classes due to my bipolar (I've failed now 7 classes). I dont know what to do. I'm in therapy, I'm taking my meds. But now my psychiatrist thinks I'm treatment resistant to my depression. She wants me to start TMS but there is no way in hell I can afford it while being on state insurance. Everything has to shit since I was 17.... I'm lost, losing all hope, and I feel like a failure to myself and my family. I just dont know what to do anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions? Are you going through the same thing too? 

Edit for spelling mistakes**",2.3882734662683265,4.556733848329049,4.193046619884665,83.7262516501077,78.12596401028276,6.878927256305149,26.451816855415824,7.917944638633933,1.7635535468630592,1533,62,295,26,37,517,213,389,0.156,0.753,0.09,-0.9762,1,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,2,10,11,31,4,4,14,1,38,6,1,3,6,54,73,22,0,11,7,0,3,4,0,4,4,0,2,0,10,18,0,1,8,0,2,5,7,18,0,1,13,6,50,13,43,49,5,39,2,8,3,1,12,15,4,6,20,197,60,28,0.11000576208173568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153360642986927,0.0,0.0,0.14961538094779595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909615655503108,0.07691858660891741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284053786010276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947602234575626,0.0,0.11887714854741127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18949560337595348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962667837134758,0.0,0.2578518677592575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265776836593504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19773217149315528,0.0,0.10370364222855163,0.0,0.11124443722369198,0.1571762768227651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494694073462855,0.0,0.12503761934966476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854355549152484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277816291509284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209125798818118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21497303498985512,0.11025467315653346,0.0,0.0,0.09237713448951387,0.12306830938527848,0.24016856825545785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219160264893444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484322535755225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778229040527736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454275135808365,0.08366433911264877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762641444102956,0.0,0.11493260784246664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310424485382688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013495850417364,0.1113317041540616,0.08766034988511417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291933395162322,0.09099790316219078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557252891960053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300038146789575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271064269945637,0.0,0.0961498847596709,0.0,0.12580117603769375,0.0,0.07308294027349604,0.07048725050398517,0.0,0.0,0.06414524451276486,0.0,0.0,0.21023043972493208,0.0,0.07468669148562825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500965856078901,0.0,0.0,0.1297684972536492,0.17463490718746005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197644355033854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008550495780664,0.11171619120076604,0.0,0.0781449371633607,0.0,0.0,0.07084010410005498
mentalhealth,Pistol_YouAThrowAway,2019/02/28,"The job interview process vs. maintaining my sense of self So, I have diagnosed severe GAD and social anxiety. I go to therapy every other week and have made significant progress over the past year. I’ve been looking for jobs recently and going on interviews, and I just feel like it contradicts everything I am supposed to be working on in therapy. During one of my last sessions my goal was to work on being my “authentic self,” but how do I do that while navigating the modern-day job market? Employers don’t want to hear about your authentic self during an interview. I’m constantly quite literally told to NOT be my authentic self when interviewing for a job. I’m supposed to lie and be fake and make myself out to be someone that I’m not just to get the job. This has become increasingly difficult because it is just reinforcing the idea that I’m not good enough which is something I’ve been struggling with for a long time.

Interviews make me so uncomfortable even though I practice SO hard. It just feels really fake and demeaning to sit there knowing that the person is judging every single thing you say. I can’t just think of it as a normal conversation because it isn’t. They’re writing down everything I say and if I say something wrong or “too honest” then they won’t hire me.

I’m beginning to think that self-employment is the only thing that will work for me, but it isn’t the most consistent income. I petsit on the side and I don’t have the same problem because I feel much more in control of who I’m in contact with and how I’m viewed. I don’t feel judged or like I need to lie or pretend to be someone else to my clients, and I will still get work.

I plan on bringing this up in my next therapy session, but I wanted to talk about it here first to see if anyone else has similar experiences with interviews and applying for jobs.",6.0406152687091925,6.424001162983428,6.799648417880462,75.61982420894027,66.37569060773481,10.67021597187343,33.58161727774987,10.537671172512404,3.546061878453038,1479,62,280,37,22,490,181,362,0.112,0.848,0.04,-0.9801,9,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,1,10,19,10,0,1,14,0,30,1,0,6,0,55,60,30,0,7,17,0,5,2,0,3,1,4,0,5,20,16,0,1,8,1,0,4,10,6,0,2,5,12,31,4,43,46,7,34,0,0,3,0,25,14,0,6,17,188,51,22,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095752870424799,0.0,0.0,0.05571643647809331,0.08164498726421733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572265358535147,0.08800397665557884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610937080025376,0.08937162926352156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138915527060832,0.0,0.0,0.08087690177611474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313039354278375,0.0,0.0,0.08233417971842236,0.0,0.052630087398554896,0.0,0.13427328306157568,0.0,0.14322847647588746,0.07794558595019342,0.0,0.0,0.16116114175703025,0.05692578627311608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777859907692706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326250135555145,0.0,0.09057174452890872,0.06683459594914562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138061152611555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980890317085892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995277953305297,0.0,0.0,0.4744404531091958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04379187380704114,0.06495254845736273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785849933393472,0.0,0.0,0.0705172388181289,0.06691392773481597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539829271313113,0.10637848193047834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857641541368465,0.05908417890806221,0.0,0.0,0.08474412454891808,0.0,0.07807274420371156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05399548605932746,0.060602762494223125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760667540394909,0.0,0.0695764094928977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624618453709353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475302897611862,0.0,0.0,0.051047181067909016,0.0,0.07867767447666965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901021448071336,0.0,0.0,0.06349729670481448,0.0,0.4156354530092013,0.09001948099247183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122711931997417,0.1350308524295422,0.12268823952463065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636352095980267,0.0,0.0,0.08330231674325643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640464416276417,0.0,0.0,0.2733744940950722,0.0,0.10587612640579798,0.1021157197073467,0.07828846632496878,0.0,0.046463990029334316,0.0,0.0,0.07614083576607117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399858412442992,0.0,0.06391716022752783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320416506082996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712121153747276,0.0,0.051313451458228534
mentalhealth,fjri38idj4j,2019/02/28,"Gaslighting? I'm sorry if this sounds stupid but I've been questioning whether my mother has been gaslighting me and my brother. I haven't done much research but I talked to a friend and she said it sounded like gaslighting so now I'm here. Whenever we argue or show any opinion she disagrees with she always talks in condescending voice and says things like ""why are you getting mad, I'm not getting mad,"" and also a lot of the time in an arguement she'll assume something and if we were to explain that's not what happened she'll say something along the lines of  ""well I'm the adult, you're the kid so be quiet."" Also, I can't really explain it so I'll just tell what happened, I was playing the game bitlife on my phone and she told me to show her what I was doing. In the game there's and option to murder someone (there's nothing graphic at all, it's a text based game) and I did that. She went on to telling me how I shouldn't play that game because I have mental health problems and ""since I'm having thoughts"" its terrible for me to play that game. If I ever say something mean (almost always jokingly, and its obvious) to my sister she talks about how I've been so bad recently and finds some way to mention that I have mental health problems somewhere in there. Does this sound like gaslighting or is it just me being petty? ",4.295192193968069,5.436962816479403,4.607380248373744,87.05921939680664,70.64794007490636,6.96936723832052,28.65937315198107,7.0608816371341465,1.4371842696629216,1060,39,211,9,19,333,141,267,0.16699999999999998,0.7659999999999999,0.067,-0.9819,0,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,2,1,0,0,18,18,5,0,10,0,22,2,0,2,3,47,38,27,1,6,12,3,0,3,1,3,2,9,0,2,17,15,0,0,7,11,0,1,5,9,1,0,12,9,31,9,21,21,4,13,0,0,0,0,39,7,0,12,7,141,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378426566187108,0.0,0.0,0.19771245587681485,0.20571798928096405,0.0,0.0,0.08406359296480853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321477853150313,0.07535559112935343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817780459275836,0.12650279984299378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181837963613372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129834215629842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550595346641,0.0,0.12916924419471765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862767383325948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627975366911858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117862211742344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509449522403956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465482252176425,0.0,0.0,0.24915311125979897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087249582271864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861355474304135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23656896848032746,0.0,0.0,0.1384789916627365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919202149183423,0.0,0.1220565750691545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175877867964692,0.2949148772227584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225700918739873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047400262262809,0.2854985181739391,0.0,0.13837877165603718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980752556211307,0.21609288362860102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821254406452532,0.0,0.0,0.09813784930787676,0.07208189012639904,0.0,0.0,0.11812105147141118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812118020389947,0.0,0.0,0.111146256381601,0.11459391659211245,0.11154484170540092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,allidoishuynh2,2019/02/28,"What now? Hey, so I just withdrew from college for mental health reasons. But I'm at home now, I got prescribed some anti depressants (first time taking drugs so hopefully they work), I set up appointments with a therapist, and I still feel like I'm not getting anywhere. There are hours in the day and consecutive days where I feel like I'm not doing anything to improve my condition and that's literally the entire point of me going home. I know this isn't gonna just get fixed, but I want to feel like I'm maybe getting somewhere.  I'm asking for any suggestions on things I can do or try on my own that might help. I have looked into this online, but I also want to hear from some people who have things they've tried that have worked.",7.84591836734694,6.22968393197279,7.530612244897963,78.47510204081634,63.421768707483,10.576870748299319,33.244897959183675,9.23628265651192,2.652526530612245,586,18,118,8,7,186,99,147,0.025,0.8490000000000001,0.126,0.8989,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,10,5,0,0,3,0,9,2,0,1,0,24,31,10,0,3,8,0,3,3,0,2,2,1,2,0,9,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,5,14,4,15,28,3,18,0,1,1,0,7,8,0,5,11,73,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918555254100853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135088081992773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264549053973273,0.0,0.13933031524016026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223422818645766,0.0,0.1283661224667655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172836644345539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226074116728794,0.319418110606068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677155921810296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335984499162333,0.0,0.08470167155566131,0.0,0.119199221257932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842031539211654,0.16797654188330854,0.0,0.09989696090583113,0.0,0.29899432538809484,0.14802826028797578,0.14677230733897167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190733062068926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184371651236562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515429749030862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972859978738812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019514628513,0.15810565666039947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332411229375664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408889861549768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323578054328374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902185722010328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205795069555267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304448573842834,0.1980283129369824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690519638548064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20237389818192025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17581282640886747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217002728381636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arkaman_-22,2019/02/28,"Breaking up from a possible neurosis This weird thing happened to me where I’m feeling like a different person,  because somehow, my neurosis is gone, to make things clearer, let me explain, untill like 2 weeks ago I was still struggling with the symptoms of a neurosis, like I had a pretty bad case of overthinking, so bad that it made me not talk to people even trough messages because I ended up in a loop of doubt, I feared human contact I couldn look people into their eyes, females where even worse to me, I had anxiety almost all the time, I was working to overcome by myself this problem By putting myself into situations where I could overcome these problems, but the results where pretty mild, I knew I was going somewhere but I was for sure certain that it would take years of my life to finally become a healthier person, until one day, and what I’m going to tell you might not make sense, but I’m pointing to the probable cause of this change, one day I went to see a friend, and things went a little bit crazy and I ended up consuming MDMA, in other words extasis, like you might know, this drug improves your extroversion ,emotional warmth, empathy toward others and a willingness to discuss emotionally-charged memories, so well I was feeling like a totally different person at that moment,  the day passes and the effects of drug run out, but I was different, especially in my extroversion, I was able to talk to people, I wasn’t behaving socially awkward, to make things short, my symptoms are almost gone for good, so I’m just curious to know if there’s a chance that consuming that exact type of drug could heal a mental sickness like mine, it’s a total mistery  to me.",10.756251217137295,7.9899716455696215,10.283037974683547,64.63294547224929,58.81012658227849,13.267380720545276,43.29503407984421,11.51311941424646,5.027790457643622,1344,60,226,28,13,439,169,316,0.07200000000000001,0.746,0.182,0.9898,3,0,3,0,0,0,35.0,0,3,1,2,14,21,0,4,19,0,18,9,1,7,6,48,42,15,0,6,8,0,2,6,1,3,8,0,0,4,20,9,0,0,7,0,0,9,3,9,1,2,16,5,33,11,41,20,4,42,0,0,3,0,18,18,0,7,20,162,53,2,0.08583493825504103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608749377927465,0.0,0.17190258366256245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566349282454889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333717623038628,0.10464836333835968,0.09479794559408816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370952152040404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817612590985457,0.09080198336718176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706442748831374,0.0,0.0,0.16606930268169146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690377243235397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986238327595523,0.0,0.0,0.09655275247008054,0.1520485562690432,0.0,0.0,0.11338633437774386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658816907023476,0.08680144766614692,0.12264099408006585,0.0,0.09402797927976167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631586037307424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756394695453627,0.07199427379726629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590355242469599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434527457481416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777203986077071,0.060627755330235386,0.2516076908472681,0.08602915777892732,0.0,0.0,0.07207973005262723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812190939789018,0.17188646341337618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865014291681462,0.18211461021156589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116327951174556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785214156782278,0.22484327182918026,0.0,0.0,0.08114176095491597,0.09676599594609686,0.0,0.1746499808454033,0.09254458107768464,0.1642648872969082,0.0,0.08628782071534259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839933270234883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964820669416002,0.0,0.08749791010235311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685478925679856,0.0,0.0,0.08973331422731924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089841349060756,0.1784307329157146,0.06453719127792239,0.1379817439994567,0.0750235193629545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228099675768308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050051042762802964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688516099845323,0.0,0.0771759178529588,0.15913969541174194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06248885733885054,0.0,0.08747313516581473,0.060974677411691575,0.0,0.0,0.05527488602725161
mentalhealth,MAWyatt,2019/02/28,"Woke up with an intense hatred of snakes that I did not have before. I don't even know if this is the right place to post this but I figured I might be able to get some answers. The title explains it all pretty much, I cannot explain my sudden I now have of snakes. It's not a fear as such but an overwhelming hatred of them and a desire to kill them. 

I love almost all animals and never had a problem with snakes before this (I actually liked them and wanted one as a pet a while ago) however I have been diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety for several years now but nothing like this has ever happened before but I don't know if that is related. 

I'm not too sure of the names of the pills I'm on as I'm not allowed access to them unless I'm taking them which is supervised due to an overdose attempt. I also have a messed up sleep pattern where I sleep for almost an entire day, usually waking up around 5-7pm and going back to sleep around 3am. 

I can't explain my sudden desire to see every snake on earth exterminated, I know it is not rational as I have never had any negative encounter with a snake or even ever been scared by them. In fact where I live snakes are pretty uncommon and reclusive and I've never actually seen one in the wild and there is only one deadly species native to the country.

I know this hatred is irrational but I can't shake it and I just feel if I ever see a snake I will attempt to decapitate it. I just don't understand this, I love animals of all types but now snakes are my number one hated thing in the world.

Does anyone know why this sudden change in me might have happened? ",4.633798049340218,4.997016481927712,5.929931153184168,80.70640562249001,69.42168674698793,8.733448078026392,27.556511761331038,8.704169506293173,1.9263041881812968,1280,39,257,20,21,432,158,332,0.13699999999999998,0.736,0.128,-0.7274,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,6,2,19,14,2,4,19,0,30,8,4,1,11,67,57,26,2,7,18,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,16,15,0,0,12,0,0,2,15,9,0,4,7,4,33,5,38,46,5,38,0,2,3,2,12,16,0,9,21,191,49,2,0.098736845331219,0.0,0.19270583616419854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752425594577877,0.0,0.19774137618291515,0.0,0.0,0.07895981953873615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714444065592558,0.0,0.07553341642375243,0.0,0.0,0.06903909800159097,0.0,0.0,0.1757934515432318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592253939797056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520533491937469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445049032195006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367709694322353,0.0,0.08504190020326219,0.10021581961692094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640527872520876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042951026380767,0.2679393881794893,0.08319005067677226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110640147461527,0.04992431570972156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158592647255601,0.0,0.056114424593225326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746253324859154,0.0,0.0,0.09748219321235174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923769027830188,0.0,0.2713159400122749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964756704762658,0.0,0.08718644337032974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178227715710486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209488379284278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725829421254773,0.0,0.2284558261586169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474066604274917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676265669043031,0.075093820127044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315898830484448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456260444235268,0.20090173647698986,0.0,0.09447782627974577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432072642390374,0.0,0.0,0.09885280695848472,0.0,0.15736096445304487,0.0,0.0,0.11154453089861892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964244557002449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305830822210684,0.0,0.07423781973706124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559637271339779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278853813167252,0.0,0.0,0.10874468569590004,0.0,0.05823754955980445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909464537755694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358329117867077
mentalhealth,fortylightbulbs,2019/02/28,"An interview on social anxiety with the author of 'How to be Yourself' Posted [here](https://getpocket.com/explore/item/a-psychologist-explains-how-to-beat-social-anxiety).
",18.011199999999995,16.648452520000006,15.4,29.18000000000003,43.8,18.0,57.0,15.903189008614273,9.625000000000002,143,8,13,5,1,45,21,25,0.108,0.892,0.0,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5618827151713537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35171911620983864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7487198926729791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SMorris_92,2019/02/28,Need Advice How do I get a prescription refill for cymbalta if I'm unable to see my personal doctor?,2.6454999999999984,5.05386455,6.0100000000000025,69.785,78.5,10.0,25.0,10.125756701596842,3.519499999999999,81,3,13,3,2,30,19,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,5,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,8,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4755348627145358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980923524662634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542471155712481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608342727808001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4249116021589186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877857203648474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jfu88,2019/02/28,"My wife is dying right in front of my eyes and I feel helpless Hi there, new around here. I'll start with some back story.

Wife and I are in our late twenties, together 4 years, married for about 1 and a half. She has been struggling with depression and anxiety her whole life. She has also attempted suicide a few times in the past.

Lately things have been good, quite stressful as there is so much going on in our lives, but things have been ok...

In the last week, I noticed ny wife didn't seem like herself. She was very anxious, snappy, picking fights with me... etc. Then a specific event, which doesn't need to be expanded on, seemed to spark a downward spiral with her.

She hasn't been talking or eating much. She has been sleeping almost all the time. And last night, she told me she was tired of everything and that she wanted to ""go"". I tried to sympathize with her and just listen... but it was breaking my heart.

This morning I left for work but decided I shouldn't leave her alone. I came back home for the day and found that she was about to take some pills. I feel overwhelmed right now... I love her and I can't do this alone. 

I urged her to come to the hospital with me today and the whole experience was... well... a major disappointment. We felt unsafe in the waiting room, filled with people who clearly weren't all there, shouting, and pacing around. It didn't seem like the right place to even be in...  we decided to leave and were threatened to have police called on us for being a danger to our daughter. Really a sad, sad experience for someone who is DESPERATELY seeking help...

I feel helpless right now, and like I'm about to lose my partner, and best friend. I'm not sure what I'm expecting out of this thread... just a vent more than anything.

Thanks for reading.",3.4470525688164564,5.313667100864556,3.7330358739938383,89.61046109510086,73.95677233429394,6.745861075226076,24.357448077114178,7.503015589744147,1.004539381894067,1392,43,284,17,29,431,189,347,0.17600000000000002,0.731,0.093,-0.9858,0,2,0,0,1,1,67.0,6,0,0,5,19,23,2,3,16,1,32,8,3,1,4,58,56,22,2,4,7,4,4,3,2,1,3,2,2,1,13,28,1,1,10,1,0,6,8,12,1,1,18,7,41,11,46,34,13,48,0,8,1,1,38,21,0,7,23,195,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466081932104026,0.1958146845601205,0.0,0.07559774646318088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231723802888641,0.10679501568631894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777923372506497,0.16830824661564858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453795846489471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992062107602964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652843109720123,0.1081201970078508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143152946916972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096575522014236,0.0,0.08142085490911506,0.0,0.09810999240968853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967305271698204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542892179399467,0.062437940624997065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495987325926235,0.1849421921223111,0.0,0.0,0.14339568340273864,0.0,0.09076619320662424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365019938078186,0.07303571061174287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745019601380487,0.07928952315748969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202167565354976,0.0633632597407549,0.0,0.09482398127424804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411349532109697,0.21327395109017805,0.20019290787915225,0.1027100285561812,0.0,0.06677122438626294,0.13855167069408295,0.0,0.08347408440698374,0.0,0.0,0.10575788338992564,0.0,0.0,0.08531943046287807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389847871590359,0.07009478108219114,0.0,0.09130024709189204,0.0,0.08871251216062538,0.0,0.0,0.10762607764293128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024213538327502,0.06553705443475683,0.0,0.09876652566869204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054713667727733,0.0945582574089842,0.0,0.060560052588457085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229215535204372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581769921953769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460094589214912,0.0,0.08009722920173216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691071429321037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082868604206768,0.09882607770252264,0.0,0.10340340374963616,0.0,0.08909592793352497,0.0,0.07107680725775266,0.07598178375244033,0.0,0.08703298675739911,0.0,0.0,0.1256066182081129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024552661988132,0.10865140419699842,0.08960592298154949,0.09033002257241436,0.0,0.06418148139330232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371116915456407,0.0,0.0,0.07799935757034507,0.055757821281483363,0.0,0.07582841018262086,0.0,0.08499622821440353,0.0,0.0,0.21108471253314146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882091366052498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06087594366222757
mentalhealth,Beanheaderry,2019/02/28,"Confused as to if this is bipolar disorder or not.. seems different from what I’ve had it described to me as but I can’t think of anything else So this has been happening for around a year or so now and it’s progressively gotten more frequent and intense. I could be having the best day of my life, or an average one, it doesn’t really matter what my mood is at the time. Then, suddenly with no warning, I’ll get this intense sadness in my chest and I’ll start crying, but it only lasts for a little while. I’ve had it literally last two seconds before, and as long as a few hours. Generally anywhere between those two time spans. Can anyone help me understand these feelings?",4.854444444444448,5.731394626865673,5.8912935323383095,79.34367330016586,69.14925373134328,8.940630182421229,31.30679933665009,9.150863307647796,2.6743475953565508,536,22,103,10,9,178,95,134,0.122,0.7759999999999999,0.102,-0.4155,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,6,0,12,3,1,0,0,21,20,18,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,4,1,7,1,16,14,3,19,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,6,14,77,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535798307570807,0.0,0.15930260705605806,0.17233022828789513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647251772879792,0.0,0.2031537882625578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545605572006189,0.0,0.21264222584299705,0.12484524942884458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225340419065907,0.22186329647007086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617140532947734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788156097791237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011393132954322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711851217890602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975484250780908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19064061059103124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155925436212205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367336488012242,0.0,0.19402137820106036,0.0,0.1713151777436969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117709154024473,0.14722886491959164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401445440196772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623101619935627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701929526230344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404039753462527,0.0,0.0,0.2257600224843285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782056187684604,0.2015270999699776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466133394532475
mentalhealth,maritimer1127,2019/02/28,"I don't know what's wrong with my mind? I've been meaning to do this for a long time. I don't know how to say this or even where to start. All I know is that I'm depressed and have been my entire life.

I feel like I'm in this repetitive loop of poor thinking behaviour and fluctuating emotions that I just can't overcome. I'm so ridiculously scatterbrained that its such a struggle to focus on anything and to be present in a moment. Im so deeply 'in my head'.

I've tried to figure out what's wrong in my own research and honestly I've related to a lot of what I've read about ADHD, OCPD, mood disorders, anxiety, and honestly maybe even a little on the spectrum. I'm a chronic overthinker which when turned inwards has been destructive but when applied to a specific topic of interest I admittedly become very creative and deeply analytical -- striving for as much perfection and understanding as possible with an odd obsession for statistics and numbers.

I'm a deeply private person and talking about myself, especially my struggles makes me very uncomfortable. I'm Canadian but visiting a psychologist without any plan is *very* expensive, I've tried them a couple times when I was younger (for context I'm 24) and I never really got much from it. Felt like I was just paying hundreds of dollars to vent to an apathetic stranger.

I'd like to speak with a doctor about possible solutions to help my brain chemistry but I have no idea how to do that. Do I just book an appointment with my regular doctor and tell them I'm depressed in order to get a referral to someone? Any advice would be appreciated.",5.584404761904762,6.7512588474026,6.604025974025976,73.83794372294375,67.66883116883116,10.282251082251085,34.7965367965368,10.398101306919678,3.8716497835497847,1287,62,231,34,21,430,166,308,0.117,0.757,0.125,0.6771,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,2,17,17,2,3,16,0,19,6,2,3,3,44,41,24,0,1,8,0,2,3,0,1,4,2,0,1,13,16,0,0,11,2,4,1,6,9,0,0,7,4,22,7,42,31,5,23,0,2,0,0,10,10,0,2,14,148,35,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391118238860695,0.11311185128596063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743112702579762,0.0,0.08855022664226195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525431670696206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783937019626546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292178979554606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807776744013047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993946492461166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266221500175426,0.2369548586920717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020580761679254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529066635872106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852786330032205,0.08269349797184465,0.11114040302108147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047582245014735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257772399913827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879529991241852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758635650044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067030741025065,0.12503239516018386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19084338390013805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175930405725919,0.16965224579960378,0.11601425832649136,0.0,0.1024371822851912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840850387071924,0.0,0.0,0.07726558872249015,0.0,0.11628878812806713,0.12608823702036245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687687056556713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018258354727545,0.0,0.08927534391135704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107048235899976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609867524161801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578366863400286,0.0,0.07415391583446725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205091023032612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807658578439493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193010514440205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420189658025557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303734981242524,0.10117265100168528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416942842035773,0.0,0.0,0.13499224575731958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717648733605966,0.12590531159096385,0.0,0.12050227275201293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865234201026597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115811293750528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222714436880389,0.2531140350003739,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jimmythebulletdodger,2019/02/28,"People with mental health issues are actually the the start of X-men More and more people are being diagnosed with mental health issues , I think this is a progressive mutation that's supposed to happen ... 
Most people don't have them and don't understand so big pharma created medicine to silence people who have hyper senses and intuition . Change my mind ... I'm not saying get rid of of all brain altering medicine some people really need it .
",7.64725,8.662324225000003,7.760000000000002,67.92500000000001,63.0,10.9,31.0,10.793553405168565,3.715324999999999,358,12,54,9,5,116,59,80,0.0,0.97,0.03,0.3102,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,8,4,1,0,1,13,15,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,7,14,5,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,35,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.1650315901211367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18878797827070695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789009699952852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164790019728618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835547114809786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495476051437659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35952211868494954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.353023700151146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408557613016404,0.0,0.17075767714690696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539643608658596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5862143322835095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833923220195553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448682818189453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970028265782108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083618961654958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17605440739888198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ellefish79,2019/02/28,"Help. Need to manage anger freakouts. Hiya, this my first time posting on reddit..I suffer from depression and stressed induced anger management issues. I see a counselor but since there is such a high demand for mental health counselors in my area I can only see her about once a month. Any advice on how to manage these anger freakouts I have. I get so frustrated I throw and break things and hit myself in the head until it hurts. Always when I'm alone so most people down think I have any issues. But I'm worried I might take it too far one day and unintentionally hurt myself when I'm like this. I know I need to stop and breath but I dont think about that til after I've lost it. Smoking pot helps alot but I cant do that and drive or go to work. So daytime is hard sometimes. ",2.635515370705246,4.5759428227848105,3.37471971066908,90.9686075949367,76.46835443037975,5.5269439421338165,20.77938517179024,6.18269132825596,0.08406003616636504,618,15,128,4,14,195,103,158,0.28800000000000003,0.664,0.048,-0.9907,0,1,0,0,0,2,14.0,0,0,0,3,11,11,4,1,5,0,9,3,2,2,0,22,24,19,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,10,0,2,1,3,16,1,16,21,2,23,0,5,2,0,3,8,0,4,11,78,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680985751035833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556002227728138,0.0,0.0,0.1250092191398168,0.0,0.0,0.20433262353669188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689043612921112,0.0,0.12939890785689764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607664495894654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277915153539489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849263163664487,0.0,0.08538314924791696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458284234321216,0.0,0.15418650525797847,0.15969490547938406,0.0,0.0,0.2014013883263395,0.15873363896263928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216636313058074,0.0,0.0,0.31361679016484784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256632610005861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339820938003842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400143264619238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514035597650355,0.1593777151222291,0.0,0.0,0.11991773996397274,0.0,0.0,0.22279766353788197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999750167274465,0.1018044792864922,0.11426200835137347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415541911813307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388551654769907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23943887531749916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427759881155576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485882344368408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560485907176736,0.17209597577093516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295952668852136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981078701440016,0.19253160644483155,0.0,0.0,0.08760440280714946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093743252306336,0.15257296606118415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,joe1910,2019/02/28,"Anxiety About Counselling Hi Reddit,

For a while now I've been certain I have some sort of mental health disorder (I suspect Borderline Personality Disorder), but I have the most incredible anxiety about talking to anyone about it. I've not said a word to any of my friends or loved ones although sometimes I think they suspect it.

I've never been an open person and I really struggle even talking to my parents sometimes, I want to feel better but I'm so afraid of counselling/ talking to anyone about this and I've looked into but can't afford anonymous online counselling.

Can anyone offer any advice because I feel so stuck right now. ",6.621101694915258,8.004828016949155,6.762500000000002,72.85019067796613,65.44067796610169,8.611864406779661,35.08898305084746,8.841846274778883,3.2963694915254242,518,24,81,8,8,166,74,118,0.135,0.735,0.131,0.3546,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,9,6,0,2,4,0,6,2,0,0,2,21,15,10,0,1,5,1,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,4,10,4,14,11,2,7,0,0,1,1,12,3,0,4,4,55,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532966424645034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213361048538094,0.0,0.2400182170020663,0.0,0.0,0.32907238922192994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956296737357957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874337750291482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35958517008548285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361459861137508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864164245492132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120140035980954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16675101552324942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173566882474694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158600448175268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809331718420974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099183525761575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630270424017828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174191359023057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27395476993356505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004982784189488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397057468606796,0.14922425155365032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103071937426145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400003380931386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782710614641981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005193020986598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252906507958612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HiddenFromEveryone,2019/02/28,"How was your first time seeing a therapist? I’ve been debating but I don’t know. I don’t want to go and be chastised by them. I don’t want to be asked patronizing questions. I don’t want to waste my time. I have weird feelings about seeing someone. I don’t want to be probed or be pushed into an emotional mess in front of someone being paid to do so, who’s staring at their clock waiting for the hour to be up. 

But shit’s getting bad. This is going to sound weird but I’m borderline on the verge of tears at all times of the day now. Doesn’t matter if it’s at work, or on the bus, or walking in the city. I think I have a broken heart but like I’m in my fucking 30’s, this is childish. 

I guess I’m nervous to look a therapist up and go. What if I choose the wrong one? Etc. Anyone that has gone - how was your first time? Did it validate you going, or did you need to go a few times for validation? Any experiences you’re open to share are welcome. ",0.13913968957871606,2.1340749073170784,2.3192128603104223,95.03167960088692,85.29268292682926,5.483370288248338,20.04988913525499,6.7829847944221076,0.14890243902439027,736,22,174,9,22,248,114,205,0.173,0.723,0.103,-0.9638,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,4,2,3,6,11,2,1,11,0,24,3,2,2,1,30,50,15,0,7,10,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,1,5,0,1,9,6,8,0,3,7,6,18,3,28,37,3,33,0,0,4,1,11,13,2,8,12,110,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261443048245843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522779071472842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273200360028015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371364932105615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783181467537457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319634618332806,0.0,0.0,0.15188876914585162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332207588136101,0.0,0.0,0.06886217267600794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316876905928056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590622221125525,0.07115408445574893,0.0,0.3870019189067279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500295468930372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138678213858645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412052805881985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484691515657789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665359573278697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436599159992755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098377030664442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228642696880593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256489158152492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21705290803852986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979792369124305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23078808638897114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162560870737557,0.0,0.0872655808560054,0.0,0.0,0.3970698233746853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32131550624209376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914854187558887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890328641829093,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,symptomstm,2019/02/28,"Question about Seroquel. Hey everyone, just a question quick.

So I had a rash with lamictal and delayed onset anaphylaxis to Wellbutrin, which by the way worked amazingly. Now I have been prescribed Seroquel. This drug as I understand is an anti psychotic. I am not and never have been psychotic....I do however have depression and anxiety. 

My doctor is staying away from Paxil and Prozac  as he doesn’t want me to “flip” and be more depressed? It just doesn’t make any sense to me. 

What does make sense is Seroquel is fucking hardcore and really seems like overkill. I am sensitive to many drugs and I have muscle/nerve problems. 

Should I seek a second opinion? I am legitimately scared to take this drug. ",3.784475446428573,6.733371710937501,4.3850892857142885,79.90812500000001,77.984375,7.7196428571428575,30.236607142857146,8.634040054169528,2.9533732142857145,561,27,94,13,14,178,85,128,0.171,0.797,0.032,-0.9521,1,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,1,1,5,0,19,7,1,2,1,23,26,10,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,11,2,12,21,1,7,0,2,0,1,4,1,1,4,5,68,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225877947401942,0.0,0.12628430670358098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550963237784212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28436307839365604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16896444642012776,0.14446097152718446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5743146162810792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773921385824566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261205796970528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064882893359472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203818482200657,0.1673632993270899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731841960287835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15795746247811968,0.0,0.0,0.3698505390641464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575326801074562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652719919673799,0.0,0.0,0.15028091667063662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595130703824702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411819881262638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185214027934478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736734969084006,0.13103132452179694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201788343306871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smryan08,2019/02/28,"My dad was just diagnosed with Alzheimers. Hes 57. Im speechless and in shock.  I mean, nothing will happen overnight. Hes still him.  But ffs hes not even 60. Hes recently been depressed bc i think he knew before the diagnosis. I just want him to be okay. I know this means we can have fun and make memories but this...is just something im not sure im emotionally equipped for.  ",-0.8912087912087934,1.0511738717948729,1.1059340659340684,97.05692307692308,105.15384615384615,4.7926739926739925,20.95604395604396,6.5431188927421005,0.4834659340659342,294,12,67,5,14,96,56,78,0.121,0.813,0.065,-0.6178,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,1,10,1,0,1,1,19,18,4,0,1,7,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,12,3,4,13,0,3,0,1,0,0,9,1,0,0,2,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676976170486255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974173196657394,0.2000285359518976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216845776006834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301671935764289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17427413022610874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6386294332368709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830811037323464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155011832824187,0.0,0.0,0.4293482460711528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910025179736215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194589304140679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171914595939254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573855764915641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857423031910776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262786868819405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624084720758855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dodecahedron808,2019/02/28,"feeling sad after pet passed away so earlier this month my dog died cause he choked on a piece of food. didn't get to see him before cause I was at school but after I got the news I was somewhat down. but as time passed I felt more and more sad about my dog being gone. I felt like I should be spent more time with him. he was truly a one of a kind dog. I just wish I got to spent more time with him but I was away for so much and I didn't get to. how do I cope with this. I've been through a lot of pets passing away/being sold/ running away, but I've never felt like this before about a pets death. thanks for reading",-0.10371220020855176,1.6907789051094932,1.4045307612095923,102.42220802919712,84.76642335766424,4.206256517205423,14.895203336809175,4.65589566412798,-1.3468577685088632,478,7,122,1,14,153,73,137,0.111,0.725,0.16399999999999998,0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,6,0,11,1,0,3,1,23,26,10,2,2,5,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,5,1,0,4,1,3,5,3,2,0,1,16,5,16,4,23,7,8,18,0,2,1,0,5,6,0,2,9,79,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5376061400197383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24345247507331325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29390646440061097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484648077772021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233110528833275,0.0,0.4120554419416851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172978366706004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947694429214045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288226059979549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896605937136165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977541363921875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161721705465245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418229305402565,0.0,0.10515926666957902,0.0,0.11033008785866527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693535661691967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309014979177292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447756924493107,0.11399347518658515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170254458135125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502433317327539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645020939434464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,albr0wn292,2019/02/28,"Birthday It was my birthday today. I'm 15. Since my birthday last year I've been wishing everyone of my 200ish friends on Snapchat happy birthday when it's theirs, hoping that they would do the same for me. I wake up this morning to have one message from my girlfriend, but no other messages. And it's now almost 5pm and I still haven't got anything. I even posted on my story, incase people forgot, which got 138 views, but still no messages. I don't know why but this just got me feeling so low. I try and be nice to other people and get shit all back for it. I know this isn't anywhere near as important other people's problems but I just needed somewhere to say how I felt ",2.579782608695652,4.421463572463772,3.602246376811596,89.71902173913048,76.31884057971014,5.179710144927537,25.268115942028984,5.46131890053228,0.6022202898550724,535,19,106,2,12,172,89,138,0.124,0.767,0.108,-0.7401,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,10,7,1,0,1,0,9,2,2,1,1,24,22,12,0,5,6,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,12,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,7,4,17,4,12,13,2,14,0,1,1,0,8,5,1,2,8,74,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723407550140674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565110541619844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609757694283758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690296748174685,0.0,0.0,0.1691254962240182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949356083845593,0.0,0.16994214137530175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367452420304942,0.0,0.0924721387474287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246751738991165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884135649611188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579512829128927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19454271321502156,0.14427385618166674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312389203017847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993581738053495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681163760405276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695114709815966,0.0,0.0,0.16935949895062982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075285292172296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168195255493302,0.14641139073663367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826955152856737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776975979073594,0.0,0.0,0.12016741034613385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970969162276213,0.0,0.20353453875335567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573156667931115,0.0,0.0,0.1139784302802088
mentalhealth,askyyw,2019/02/28,"How long does it take people to fall asleep? I take about 30 minutes to fall asleep if I go to bed at my normal time. I have OCD, and I'm starting to have a new obsession that particularly strong at night, so it's started taking me a little bit longer to fall asleep. How long is a normal amount of time to drift off in?",4.316911764705882,3.9893986323529416,5.2694117647058825,87.56235294117648,70.02941176470588,7.976470588235292,24.35294117647059,7.1686216300943375,0.7010764705882355,249,5,58,2,4,82,46,68,0.037000000000000005,0.901,0.061,0.3722,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,3,0,3,3,3,2,0,6,10,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,12,10,2,18,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,8,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382160114530113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094678728591846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400711223385295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869200164783328,0.0,0.3861972271385367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21073726076122112,0.0,0.20476430681683155,0.4275759776178047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127121524697598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308883734597911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4921738596197814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544663462703298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Creatibly,2019/02/28,"I'm happy, AMA. How can I make your day better? Now that I'm 38 I believe I've built up a good amount of knowledge on what it takes to be happy and how to apply what you have to your situation and put a lot of happiness in the emotions bank. I'm not going to brag about what I have in specifics so I'll leave the tl;dr at I have a partner I love, a son I love, a family I love, a job I love, and live in a place I love. To some people I have it all, to others I'm lacking, but what I've got is a balance of happiness I never thought was achievable.

I've run the gamut of the bullied geek in high school to the lost feeling early 20-something so if you have any questions that could potentially make your life better I'd love to help.",2.53408243929983,2.95804779503106,4.483399209486167,88.98778656126484,74.15527950310559,7.34522868435912,25.19536984754376,7.348242739294969,0.9412062111801238,569,17,134,6,11,196,88,161,0.085,0.66,0.256,0.9804,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,5,0,4,6,15,0,0,13,0,10,7,0,4,2,20,28,9,0,3,3,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,4,0,1,3,2,2,0,0,4,1,16,13,20,22,5,16,0,1,0,6,15,9,0,4,4,84,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873324880851189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044255418673958,0.0,0.20479308545430092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243959220903994,0.0,0.0,0.0746674582148314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302350614021366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914552520209636,0.0,0.05854101295609373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657995049193248,0.0971093876530829,0.0925985237538887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4929928296138614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760378809324092,0.1223261843792828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489214835767042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225925565097698,0.0,0.0,0.08177767320049903,0.0,0.0,0.10223440498643284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638574671035244,0.09843061364678037,0.6269668917571676,0.0,0.1545658964945886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929540170904747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026613064761291,0.0,0.12096373450573834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638922083139472,0.129698250108086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171738722036318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013971731399435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913183092733239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705091106963701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191507803293554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flailing_uterus,2019/02/28,"Am I delusional? Does anyone else have doubts about reality or like heaps of philosophies that are comparable to delusions? I have a lot paranoia over my saneness, so I guess I’m asking if I actually am crazy or if anyone else has this kind of thinking. I really don’t want to come across as some pretentious pseudo intellectual either. But basically I’ve done a lot of googling and I tie the idea of theism and solipsism together. Like the absurdness of reality and how none of this could possibly be anything but a simulation run by a singular sadistic entity. I feel like no one else is real and it’s so obvious to me. I feel like every single thing that happens to me is just a Truman show-esque experiment. Sometimes I feel like none of my choices are my own as well. 

On a seperate note does anyone else have obsessive thinking that accompanies every social interaction? Like having to touch objects to make noises that broadcast your thoughts and intentions. Idk I probably sound completely psychotic but if you relate to any of this it might make me feel less alone",5.2855339195979925,7.4080125125628165,6.4566048994974885,70.92450533919596,69.60301507537689,9.799120603015076,32.035489949748744,10.125756701596842,3.7302786432160815,866,39,143,24,16,290,123,199,0.068,0.815,0.116,0.889,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,6,10,0,2,8,0,16,0,0,4,1,38,31,18,0,5,10,0,5,6,0,1,0,1,0,0,10,6,0,0,8,0,0,2,4,2,1,1,2,6,18,8,22,26,9,5,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,11,6,103,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.11095428104142713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775836060071057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731953828901282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23850393848958956,0.3494956291417615,0.09356497570662543,0.0,0.1062936558308984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794202547208576,0.1192117307144418,0.0,0.0,0.09077977471259753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989983442114508,0.11635403307377495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799252692109661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19159341401111096,0.0,0.0,0.11121989854411768,0.0,0.0,0.22995947258545935,0.2436807715276808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525278442085291,0.0,0.10054406552111747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835286169790747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840050110397725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332869061597959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933264463450028,0.0,0.0,0.15179055777635986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061716952991346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770457032062868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281790683811927,0.0,0.0,0.12258725878120667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941488845359125,0.07283879170481695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590229080542372,0.0,0.0,0.11245168278058247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553687545964115,0.1457080583481389,0.0,0.0902646785551778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706289305651092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222947798073824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,idkmyheadhurts,2019/02/28,"Anxiety vent, I just needed to talk I've never posted to reddit before, but I just need something right now. I'm a (way too) heavy male I'm in my 2nd semester of college right now and things are good for the most part. I love my job and I'm doing well in most of my classes. My professors are helpful and engaging, and everything in perfect. But I can't escape the fact that I always feel like I'm in danger. 

I've always had anxiety problems ever since I was a little kid. I was even on xanax in 4th grade for a while. I started anti-depressants last year, but I'm less than regular with those because I keep worrying I'll run out. But over the course of these last few months my usual general anxiety that I've learned to control has been devolving into paranoia. I keep hearing people laughing and even though I know it's not at me, I keep thinking it is. I can't escape the feeling that people are following me even though I know they're just trying to go to class. The inverse of that is also true, I keep thinking people think I'm following them (although I know everyone thinks this at least sometimes). I keep seeing things move around in the dark of my room and it's only gotten worse since my roommate dropped out because now I can't attribute the movement to him. All of this I think people experience at least once in a while, but the worst part has been my dreams. 

I don't know why but I've had reoccurring dreams all my life on a regular basis, usually a few nights a part (probably normal but idk), some pleasant, some not so much. Lately I've been having a lot of nightmares. They happen night after night and they don't change until I ""solve"" them. What I mean by this is that I keep having horror/suspense movie dreams where I typically have to just survive the situation, or save everyone. The most vivid example happened last week where I had to survive the xenomorphs. It took me 4 days to solve it. I don't know exactly how many times I died in those dreams only to wake up sweating with my heart beating out of my chest, but those were the worst 4 days so far. I don't think I got more than a couple hours of sleep during that span. Basically the theme of every nightmare is that I'm in danger. 

Even though I live in a dorm I live alone. There's a surplus of rooms available in my dorm due to people either dropping out, moving to a nicer building, or joining a frat. But I'm still always anxious they're going to move someone new into my room because they can do that based on the housing contract and I can't afford to pay the money so they don't do that. I'm worried they're gonna come in and see the mess that I'm always trying to clean but can't keep up with and think ""wow, what a fat slob"". I'm worried that I'm gonna make their experience worse with my presence. I feel like I make everyone around me less happy. I can see it on their faces. 

My best friend from high school came to the same college as me although he lives in the dorm just across the road along with all the other people from my high school. They formed a group and I was in it first semester, but I kept accidentally saying dumb/depressing stuff and now it's like every time I hang out with them I just instantly kill the mood. They all started drinking and smoking which I don't do. I don't drink because I'm worried about the alcoholics in my family and I already know I can be susceptible to addiction, and I don't smoke because I'm worried about the off chance it makes me more anxious than I already am and I don't think that's something I could handle. But I've isolated myself from them because of these things and I miss hanging out with my best friend. I miss hanging out with people in general. I've been too busy trying to pass my writing classes.

Easily my biggest challenge in school is the fact that I seem to be completely unable to write anything prompted unless there is someone holding my hand the entire process. This goes for all lengths of writing. I can't even write more than a couple sentences (unless it's word vomit like this). I already failed my history class last semester and I don't know if I'll pass my current English class. I only get two shots at each and they're university required. That's my biggest worry right now is whether it's even worth staying in college just because I don't know if I'll be able to pass two entry level classes. I have A's in everything relevant to my major (Chem Ed) but I feel like if I stay and fail I'll let everyone down. The pressure and stress keep getting to me and I can't help but punch myself. 

One habit I can't get rid of is that I punch my head hard whenever I get angry at myself. I can't help it, it just comes out of nowhere. I also bite my hand completely on impulse. It's to a point where I have trouble with moving my thumb. I can't think for more than a few seconds at a time. I can't escape the fact that I'm shitty to everyone. I keep fucking up. I don't know what to do. Lately my thoughts have changed from ""I want to die"" to ""I need to die"". I don't know why. Lately this thought has been coming to my mind at random moments and I can't help but to bite and punch myself. I hate when I get angry like that. I used to get really angry in elementary school. I was probably suspended more days than I was actually there because I would constantly let the all the kids get to me and I'd throw a desk. I hate that I used to do that. I hated in high school  when I would meet someone for the first time and they would say ""weren't you that kid that threw desk in 2nd grade"" and all I could say was ""Yeah I used to have a lot of issues"". And then awkward silence, then they'd move on. All I can think is ""I let down another person""

​

I really don't know. There's so much more I can't get off my mind.",3.279212823869578,4.4713942321877616,4.434735206306454,87.14259830283396,73.14920368818105,7.272946118274202,26.313128078585766,7.700901442207033,1.3363907230379461,4561,154,959,57,89,1496,413,1193,0.14300000000000002,0.747,0.11,-0.991,3,1,6,0,0,1,114.0,0,1,14,13,47,42,7,3,52,1,88,19,10,9,16,186,189,71,4,14,34,0,7,6,2,5,6,4,7,5,55,55,4,13,30,6,3,24,31,19,1,6,24,15,148,22,140,151,42,154,0,4,4,2,40,76,1,14,54,630,203,30,0.0373971624382056,0.0,0.03649423593415204,0.04076842708614365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03996619344310342,0.0,0.03873218189189765,0.12380609606974215,0.05981299458122075,0.12446973989123215,0.04051980987742634,0.04544164568582888,0.0,0.03921418553511951,0.08582618071407719,0.08449629775218576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030774678241895743,0.06658280645772685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237570491534227,0.0,0.03182223080374886,0.0,0.07849202951465041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042772391111557694,0.0,0.0,0.07912247834568249,0.0966430322083511,0.07842042661133684,0.040413047010347036,0.041944097619714134,0.05971718234420801,0.08275849786495358,0.0,0.0723542279477554,0.0,0.06442024241885512,0.0,0.11643705108106064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326996388201285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482028385363748,0.033827874453312354,0.0630174445611569,0.1786729566494684,0.06722031643300973,0.07316320163484298,0.035254716484515926,0.0,0.07563651595104763,0.08014962095448137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636200145311768,0.0,0.0,0.057785909864170475,0.03457307406427386,0.15630779090403338,0.0,0.042507338463157664,0.0313669655568127,0.029909927097637512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614037447615925,0.03980997481287975,0.033500511993332635,0.11076586664782356,0.038380277743223584,0.0,0.04214932001083593,0.04431581754959045,0.10026611873590996,0.11853646608797674,0.0,0.0,0.03682867191691963,0.04315130441454754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03903292149765578,0.03711091324309112,0.2991628464380787,0.04137441938729209,0.0,0.22607752701322906,0.12193471487967295,0.12655688440810842,0.0,0.0,0.11472339698501938,0.02641472179559052,0.10962218738200696,0.037481781350167366,0.09906713874213813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358746033955617,0.033752399183184865,0.0,0.07488868896368313,0.03791485299559577,0.0,0.04073647324904838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552094665988261,0.0,0.029850058268434475,0.19873632647170444,0.05498243472948194,0.08318856627061443,0.028842997134278882,0.036118412519288184,0.0,0.1052841107849877,0.03664127902003085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03982675748534136,0.025341285114299183,0.08532668164480603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214924477811032,0.0,0.1814853858493733,0.032653759765242006,0.0,0.0,0.03535240633524693,0.0,0.0358161440852952,0.0,0.08064093250826343,0.0357840338562557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04791515973397463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581091716281066,0.0,0.08921917374915775,0.0,0.1892396246333972,0.08940208990892058,0.03404497214454884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187063844099425,0.04203597746022663,0.03742417022167005,0.0,0.09505948312653753,0.057580325409961136,0.036986749894352834,0.0,0.0529398081118013,0.07972079861666848,0.02986542223103506,0.0,0.04283832322114184,0.0,0.042810803799021975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03005842258849375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453503899656326,0.23962591659166224,0.11022756665931686,0.059378339344709326,0.08722634463092609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041549623488904036,0.07617065544398212,0.0,0.07306318736378667,0.0,0.0,0.09689742338468467,0.08237538198874071,0.0,0.022057815333121983,0.029684126848818607,0.02999774794586415,0.0,0.03362454025060372,0.0,0.06749024468792365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278718025447689,0.07622180690700199,0.07969761365727887,0.0,0.04544164568582888,0.024082546496071243
mentalhealth,themurphysue,2019/02/28,"Anyone else feel like they can't trust their own thoughts and feelings? I have a therapist, i'm going to sessions.

It's difficult to talk to her because I never know if my feelings are...real or if i'm just imagining them/being too dramatic about them.

It's so hard to answer questions about ""*and how does that make you feel?""* And ""and what do you think about this thing that happened?"" And ""why do you think that is?"" and ""what do you mean when you say that?"" and ""describe your feelings when...""

I don't know what to say or even think when the therapist asks me these. Every time I answer, clumsily and feeling fake while doing ir, the words sound silly and ..like i'm overreacting. And then...my head starts to doubt itself.

My internal monologue starts diminishing what i've just said THE MINUTE I say it out loud. ""You're being very dramatic"" ""Is this true though?"" ""Are you sure the therapist isn't laughing at you right now? She probably thinks you're undeserving of the help but she wants the money"" ""your mom would say you're being ridiculous right now."" ""Your problems are stupid compared to [x]""

How...do you counter that?",2.3273062015503894,4.962796744186047,2.8321220930232585,90.71345445736436,81.55813953488372,6.0019379844961245,22.44670542635659,7.333567415737692,0.8958565891472867,880,29,174,13,24,272,119,215,0.118,0.836,0.046,-0.9458,0,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,0,11,3,0,15,13,2,1,7,0,15,1,1,2,3,46,40,22,0,5,7,1,7,2,0,1,0,7,0,0,17,11,0,0,18,0,1,1,4,6,0,0,2,14,25,7,13,35,1,15,0,0,0,0,27,4,0,6,12,107,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447206723760174,0.1237825189431806,0.0,0.0,0.1129395795198166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364370115177428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572027626999636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091994629929404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979283246514844,0.0,0.10178631757480178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665062501244444,0.08630557066417334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865821808866952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683050078955894,0.0,0.108220629269173,0.0,0.12398430835098695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097534797481125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13278631378887282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804179891046712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064056898002175,0.0,0.0,0.13159580277746935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148937989696106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317491328197744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025192663673396,0.11559735751155426,0.0,0.0,0.13533309638967345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20633948815030226,0.11491648728589875,0.3842868681303007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17101766529385112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386052101917853,0.0,0.0,0.09710124454255883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208037157707041,0.08025975667094071,0.30963667048328336,0.11869367478179743,0.0959084035808445,0.07044437042251236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967961160634528,0.07125594546521448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901082274669692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581884661900803,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eatmorevegetables123,2019/02/28,"Need help on what to do about my older brother? hi everyone, i (M23) have a older brother (M26) who showed symptoms of a nervous breakdown and panic attacks. He has a history of heavy weed usage and anger problems in the past and also showed signs of paranoid personality disorder. When he gets into this ""state"" he will often start saying things that dont make sense and say people are out to kill him and often threaten to kill and hurt my little brother. 

 Today was especially bad because he was in a distressed state and was having a panic attack and kept saying that he was going to die if he didn't sleep in the bathroom. It eventually led to him fighting my whole family so that he can sleep in the bathroom.

When he is back to ""normal"" he will refuse and help and deny that anything is wrong with him. How do we move forward in this situation? ",8.119512195121949,6.848962048780487,8.306219512195124,72.02384146341464,62.65853658536585,10.151219512195123,35.134146341463406,8.841846274778883,3.0018682926829268,672,24,120,8,8,221,102,164,0.309,0.665,0.027000000000000003,-0.9951,2,0,0,0,2,0,17.0,1,0,0,0,9,14,6,4,8,0,17,3,2,3,0,26,23,16,3,4,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,10,14,0,2,0,2,0,4,2,14,0,0,6,3,8,0,19,15,1,23,0,1,0,0,26,10,0,3,9,82,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182200887088456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506818434549107,0.0,0.0,0.3181536468997057,0.0,0.1075206468765422,0.11675221805698673,0.0852390765404017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451214745786351,0.0,0.16025730632727647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638797308964949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336135673081109,0.0,0.0,0.1318192893391696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305540921097309,0.0,0.07946861734619236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18745021708470455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969091826424716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30940237813848304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401464051743329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333761780092187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861717201942767,0.0,0.1036821809998394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700372155935694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281207785059733,0.0,0.0,0.13348356710964782,0.09694052303456277,0.12209417166627012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379843558498494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335953101255908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571747904402559,0.27986198810564034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897240112701863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453369208554788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289684569069906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254250005199195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561152130962337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288216558969528,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sensitivenoodle,2019/02/28,"How to work with depression Hi all,

I need some advice.

Ive been in my job 6 months. First time I've ever passed a probation. However I'm struggling with continuing. I feel like I can't do it. I cry every day at the thought of coming into work.

It's not my workplace, they're the most supportive. I just feel like I can't do it anymore.

Does anyone have advice for how to cope with these feelings?

Tia. ",-0.005389610389606503,2.3041142619047608,2.278658008658009,92.32694805194807,90.90476190476193,5.435497835497836,19.54112554112555,6.980632752743323,0.4504904761904762,314,10,68,5,11,106,61,84,0.079,0.758,0.163,0.7047,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,4,5,0,1,3,0,7,0,0,2,2,18,15,2,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,2,3,9,3,10,13,3,11,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,8,41,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960126661057712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095313369194626,0.14168263581696738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454660598919258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225780139363611,0.13067869073087482,0.0,0.17452372531582053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732166254555054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18328917891125407,0.1707233436531944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30736534134391985,0.28951583966787225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235579258512415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010776298215484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19798820785537385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173622371767782,0.0,0.0,0.15024654719378772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118314190909354,0.0,0.0,0.22994054594666344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086448290782135,0.1181543722832624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29503208348967225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FlyByWeekendMan,2019/02/28,"How do I start seeking help? I'm 26 and male. Do I go to a family doctor? Directly to a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist? I have no idea how to start getting help for my issues.",0.6175000000000033,3.119267972222225,4.262444444444443,77.32700000000003,91.5,8.435555555555556,23.86666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.7255066666666665,141,6,27,5,5,52,26,36,0.063,0.768,0.16899999999999998,0.5775,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,2,0,4,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,17,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32294341178620106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974398669253406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648437895760319,0.0,0.17931468972931708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4229666834369233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561785154112985,0.0,0.3293161350785265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44664689011874936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663377321799922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,khaostheklown,2019/02/28,"Inadequacy Lately I've been feeling inadequate in every aspect of my life. Like nothing I do is ever enough. I've been job hunting for months and all I've gotten are rejection emails. 

My ""friends"" seem to tolerate me less and less. Most of them only ever talk to me when they need something. 

I've just been feeling like I'm a placeholder in people's lives. Just here until someone better comes along. No matter what I do I can't shake this feeling. 

Those dark thoughts have come back and they are the only thing that make me semi happy. The thing is, I could never actually go through with them. I'm in this constant fight between wanting to just give up,but still being strong enough not to ya know? 

I know this is kind of all over the place, but this is the only place I can vent and try to get my thoughts out. Idk what the point of this even was. But yeah, I'm just a mess and can't shake it. ",2.4338319672131163,4.264214989071038,3.4433025956284173,90.74724897540985,76.70491803278688,5.886475409836067,22.36646174863388,6.6274283507984215,0.4089346994535519,705,20,150,6,16,226,109,183,0.079,0.807,0.115,0.3369,1,0,1,0,1,0,20.0,0,1,4,2,11,12,1,2,7,1,18,1,0,1,5,36,38,9,0,3,7,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,12,10,0,0,8,0,0,5,5,5,0,0,7,3,17,7,20,29,7,23,0,1,0,0,10,8,0,2,12,102,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.1363235422141057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741791437808257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355012007408728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406721708916076,0.0,0.15096218838657796,0.0,0.11153621414210388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886874641817778,0.0,0.09226815960707603,0.2527267966026397,0.117700248326319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119041030298276,0.09979914138904494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792909785757088,0.0,0.07298560713172357,0.13400952329269394,0.07939268765411674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870942336587914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862712887664946,0.0,0.0,0.14547231128822166,0.15354698430662114,0.0,0.15758363234150313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867170388968746,0.1364972166758774,0.0,0.12335448712788925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324843672774652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150433963853293,0.0,0.0,0.1035831160313028,0.10774248142941856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340424705732982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187362384619697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684789950203547,0.0,0.29190602582388353,0.0,0.13205825890173506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127174362704829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836431269341413,0.1075451193976226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156173143618384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122826806958102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856161715220211,0.0,0.0,0.22180668653722446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484469073992746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239656051825411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xdernomad,2019/02/28,"Sudden problems with my psyche(ish) I was looking for help online but nothing I found really fit my current situation, and I'm not even sure if this is the right subreddit. But nevertheless, a little something beforehand, I never had any mental problems, lest, never shown any symptoms which could imply possible problems with my cranium, but the past few days, my head has driven me nuts. For some time now, I had major sleeping problems, which lead to me being tired at any time of day and never having real active times (I'm only 19, by the way). For as long as I can remember, I have taken very long falling asleep. That's not really my issue, my issue is, that I have a very unstable sleep and I never seem to hit my deep sleep phase. Now if that was everything, I would have gone to my doctor and gotten myself some medication or whatnot. But recently, I had the strangest thing happen to me. When I tried to go to sleep, I suddenly started to focus on my breathing. I didn't really think it was an issue, until I suddenly stopped breathing for a moment, because I was trying to think of something else (even right now, I sometimes  forget to breathe in). It takes so long, that my heart starts to beat really heavily and I need to take a deep breath. This happens over and over again, and in addition to that, my thoughts when going to sleep, have turned into some kind of massive clusterfuck of random thoughts, that give me no rest. I already talked to the people closest to me, and everyone says the same: they believe I'm stressing out over something that I don't know about. As another side note, right now I couldn't be happier in my life. I recently got a girlfriend, my job brings me joy and in general my situation should please me. Nonetheless I always have this feeling of uneasiness and my heart starts beating really heavily. I'm scared that something in my head isn't working as it should or that I'm overthinking things, that I shouldn't. I already thought of visiting a therapist, but before that, I wanted some help from my favourite community. Maybe some of you know something, that could calm me down. Thanks in advance. If you have any further questions, just ask ahead if you need the information. ",6.440040485829961,7.116106239234451,6.657990430622013,75.96285609127716,65.55502392344498,9.78005152741995,33.541037909458964,9.757249324022393,3.2654299595141705,1760,73,311,35,26,566,209,418,0.138,0.81,0.052000000000000005,-0.9886,2,0,5,0,0,0,59.0,0,3,1,7,12,11,0,2,14,0,30,19,14,1,5,73,69,29,0,18,14,0,1,0,1,4,5,1,0,0,22,15,0,1,13,0,0,9,12,6,0,0,17,3,55,5,51,42,9,67,0,0,1,0,14,24,0,14,33,219,77,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207528301726658,0.0,0.0573339223247389,0.0,0.0,0.18742922877007864,0.07225219782617431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441624709743148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042003439987393656,0.0,0.05863250973919875,0.07763158417824817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100290013289012,0.0,0.0,0.08887518500262198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052650142481083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575607260582565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102132015246414,0.0,0.0,0.06584104009230707,0.06192676877741321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03484009956348203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555004126711883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609931191348893,0.0783198372169087,0.0,0.05510908718707298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186374282002907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143144284577344,0.0,0.0,0.16330392549166065,0.09237023984192727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157546556658502,0.06837691535754192,0.0,0.0,0.07175325635339044,0.07573603546735601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04866916598303763,0.0,0.06906024042152659,0.0,0.18293449112462204,0.05786228315456653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922366080082462,0.0,0.0,0.0694138633160724,0.06943935811285022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218337514073488,0.2125730682820716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611556294195206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052404847870933705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657769796196211,0.04776958651938043,0.0,0.0,0.07563626269729211,0.0,0.07767927894678085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637285520960472,0.0,0.0,0.07718861903472997,0.0,0.0,0.07842821255461759,0.22070939079375976,0.0,0.13606942628008895,0.0,0.07805517373093089,0.1765317638576195,0.0,0.054795488789286834,0.06898525473214714,0.0,0.0,0.0627279141159661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490270767209205,0.3447704591384275,0.0,0.0,0.26522959776189353,0.06814814419441872,0.0,0.14631251815040094,0.0,0.0,0.0576071051653882,0.07892967714817296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649415155235882,0.0716179818092257,0.10361496173742832,0.0553826903598848,0.0,0.06343784942435206,0.0,0.0800032378665114,0.09155395016833574,0.08830222478726976,0.0,0.16410702386314038,0.12053600671401506,0.07919539103497014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935630340668281,0.07494812460335061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370657689908782,0.040641559050987784,0.054693049877506734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050163172846318015,0.0,0.0,0.04894765903087692,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinkpower147,2019/02/28,"Happy Eating Disorder Awareness week! Lets eat cake to celebrate!

#carbsdontcount #hereforyou #selflove",11.895128205128202,16.268838000000002,9.700000000000003,33.23666666666668,92.07692307692308,14.04102564102564,50.48717948717949,9.725611199111238,10.531841025641027,86,6,5,4,3,26,13,13,0.131,0.483,0.386,0.7418,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972398448998304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7093277586928547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689679194235053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544275297311051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27802596457296225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fy1234567,2019/02/28,"Coming off sertraline/zoloft Hey guys,

Hoping you guys have some advice.

I've been on sertraline now for over a year and have also just started long term psycho therapy.

I've  decided to stop taking my meds mainly because I started to feel bad on them despite my dosage being upped and also because I wanted to regain some control over my life ( I don't want to be taking a pill to fix me forever).

It's been 2 weeks and I think it's going ok. I have been feeling a bit down but I think that's because of the topics I'm talking about in therapy and also I'm having a rubbish time at work.

Does anyone have any experience coming off sertraline and what the effects are?",3.846,5.1349595629629645,5.495740740740743,79.70583333333336,71.8888888888889,7.77037037037037,27.574074074074076,8.238735603445708,1.9804962962962964,531,19,98,8,10,181,86,135,0.042,0.918,0.04,-0.0544,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,3,6,3,0,0,6,1,12,2,0,2,0,22,28,9,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,7,0,2,6,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,2,12,2,18,23,5,22,0,0,0,0,6,10,0,3,9,66,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483021249670631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36409709493415454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320479423000696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611698948527433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671668678614373,0.2775419656345581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16568709388127498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614626731870456,0.0,0.0,0.1702163462404461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280978922615527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845441394932654,0.0,0.0,0.15347298092179454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625103712094105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005406445100664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073599775013127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719547412291996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430645538747207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16857570562772842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21483882641036456,0.0,0.0,0.12688158562661442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282154363101869,0.12198223724236056,0.0,0.0,0.3471109562296462,0.0,0.0,0.19448861842997325,0.0,0.0,0.08849486889430537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902880000383248,0.0,0.12173600913008853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048607446129546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773110652880566
mentalhealth,valueyoghurt,2019/02/28,"Have I failed if I have to take medication again? I took myself off mertazapine 2 years ago because of the side effects. I was already obese and, after taking this stuff, I ballooned another 10kg in a few months.  
That, coupled with the lethargy it gave me, made me ache all over from the slightest exercise. Mainly just from all the extra weight.  
That being said, this medication was the only one which ever worked for me and I’ve taken loads over the years. I felt content and ready for action but was being held back by my body being achy and tired every day all day (because of the meds). I was even happy, laughing and such.  
Now most days, I actually completely give up on life and I feel like there’s no point anymore. I don’t have much going for me and I know medication won’t fix that because I still have no direction in life.  
It was a huge effort to come off the medication and I will feel a failure if I start taking it again. ",3.850276497695852,5.238703612903231,4.944116743471586,83.27903225806456,72.01075268817205,7.464823348694317,25.651305683563752,7.957251820313856,1.4237370199692785,736,23,146,10,14,242,115,186,0.104,0.804,0.092,-0.0644,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,4,10,4,0,0,11,0,15,11,1,2,4,26,32,11,0,2,4,0,4,1,0,2,9,1,0,0,10,10,2,1,5,1,0,4,4,1,0,1,12,5,20,3,20,15,8,30,0,1,0,0,3,11,0,3,16,108,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.1234432879819361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121323790413225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959310906551736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326436319073276,0.0,0.0,0.1254515041743302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726874994318152,0.0,0.23133505970019186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051017775358995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896637373884333,0.13263019567413872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996704991068998,0.0,0.2447412192265411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355038911805063,0.11442420812677424,0.10657957835978098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279218482247753,0.09036982131442227,0.12145741331740115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134790445923653,0.07189143009763252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465891419803808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951970398755826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786978149348981,0.06180027658168346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969496929225615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051017775358995,0.5097315908431612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096907757588178,0.0,0.09299019900712367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571796274461363,0.09620702982454436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958100133869015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032806622085986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953556378389445,0.0,0.1010210468255811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480934445747087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28533107486619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145390238819752,0.0,0.0,0.1405433490136988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403984575971616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209166827476382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292045285271234
mentalhealth,sakshays,2019/02/28,"Burnt out or depressed or lazy or something​ - what is it?​ I am an undergrad. After having amazing first year and then loosing interest in the subjects. I really am in vulnerable situation. All I do is masturbate, sit in my room, watch stupid youtube videos or porn and the bare minimum coursework.

​

Courses are taking huge toll on me. Last semester was the worst semester I had so far. I was completely burnt out after the semester got over. I topped my class in first three semester but now I don't give a fuck. I want to study but I won't. I want to learn useful thing but won't. My memory has become worse as well. I don't understand what's happening. If I study for sometime, I have headaches, and couldn't think clearly.

Apart from all these, I am low in confidence because of my looks. I am going bald and have grey hair at young age and everyone stares at me and wants me respond as to why I look bad. My friends only come to me when they need help with problem sheets. I am really am vulnerable but I don't want to be like this.

​

What is wrong with me ? What should I do ?",2.0622760969745566,4.501332751152077,3.3153716690042074,88.09740532959326,80.93548387096773,7.276217190943699,24.64215588058505,8.321376580360154,1.7169656982568626,865,33,176,19,23,280,130,217,0.168,0.693,0.14,-0.5615,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,3,4,13,2,0,6,0,27,4,2,1,3,35,44,20,0,9,9,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,7,11,0,0,3,1,0,2,6,8,1,3,4,6,30,5,25,35,3,31,0,2,5,2,5,17,1,5,12,121,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991090539995861,0.33544105202835073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524857526387383,0.08414128906137484,0.15244235243061538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889989129981687,0.14472093828251434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888430514985204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189276850112908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23481504996475175,0.0,0.0,0.10664097935221616,0.12760572555133876,0.0,0.13241013860150638,0.07844514716515541,0.0,0.11039452093227813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220587220213218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251803011301878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251218023880316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674340708581497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318194459368423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234686620386234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049773888578885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207525587375285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768500166168415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515054846149395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651435933294478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378074330636776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170043439461936,0.08844350632731582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369321362699522,0.0,0.1192128686818643,0.0,0.0,0.32565267692745364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410478301789965,0.0,0.12454983934939202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066349661473634,0.0,0.15091320799462646,0.33544105202835073,0.08888624751857355
mentalhealth,Apprentice_mage,2019/02/28,"Is it a cause for concern? Firstly a bit of context.

​

Only  7  weeks ago I was diagnosed with  Mania (Altman) and Depression (QIDS) due to a lapse in my mental health which started to deteriorate 3 weeks prior. With the help of my work and my mother, thank God for her, I have been able to mostly get my mental state back to healthy.  During that time however I did hit a  bit of a low because  my mum suffered an non fatal aneurysm in her brain about 4 weeks ago, which she has been able to fully recover from. This scared my a lot   and still does but I haven't been able to disclose this to her. This lead me to be concerned about my own physical health which I have put of since the age of 13 due to the open heart surgery I had, so I have slowly been getting into shape and it has been going successfully so far.  BTW I am 22 in April and my BMI is 26. 

​

However, I have recently been reducing my calorie count quite drastically and now I have started to skip lunch. My mum noticed this morning and she is scared that I may develop an eating disorder. I have suddenly started to get doubts as well and so I was wondering whether it should be a cause for concern? Is this how it developed for some of you guys or as I just wanting to lose weight quick?   ",5.450170603674543,5.4388922322834645,6.019511811023621,82.06577690288715,67.62204724409449,9.293018372703411,31.89396325459317,9.029198982220553,2.4763714435695543,993,38,205,16,15,323,142,254,0.097,0.848,0.055,-0.8895,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,6,12,11,0,3,12,0,28,8,2,4,0,28,39,17,1,2,4,3,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,14,12,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,8,1,1,10,1,31,3,33,24,6,33,0,4,0,0,11,8,0,7,21,144,45,3,0.3201725568380826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920910235354232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312712210449208,0.2593631341273167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206431104533306,0.0,0.06505807297142105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330303387346587,0.0,0.0,0.11913948695108735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192702743083511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919213846837324,0.1083228018704262,0.0,0.0,0.12231516286197198,0.0,0.093395054031264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920548560393308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907795377620822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672769463129421,0.0,0.0606538141435167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567372290912692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268856373167644,0.0,0.12646867380796167,0.07153497196690745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939706471117335,0.0,0.0907330861149187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21510575460249431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215061926831918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116855233444363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728728395861883,0.0,0.11351430833877353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537725799084872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21369905596603897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828334919612411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266197836491011,0.0,0.08523007249154826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825729126562448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223173088392786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294868980266936,0.0,0.2568231125845949,0.12996130641325893,0.09595785992524422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573782674800755,0.07769647820495733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593631341273167,0.0
mentalhealth,okbyeseeyou,2019/02/28,"Mirtazapine / Remeron Hey guys! My first post here so I hope I am doing it right. 

I have been on Mirtazapine for 4 years now, and on the 45mg dose. I was prescribed it for depression, anxiety and panic attacks. 4 days ago I went to my doctor because I feel as if i’m ready to come off it, I have been in a really good place for the past year emotionally and felt like now is the right time. I also am not in control of my weight with it, I have gained nearly 30kg over the 4 years. I have cut down my dose to half a tablet each night, and am going to a quarter after a week. 

At the moment I emotionally feel fine, not anxious or depressed, but I almost feel like i’m going crazy? I feel so out of it, I am getting headaches and sweating and just feel really confused. When people talk to me it’s taking me longer to process what they’re saying, and I am really forgetful. My brain just feels really scattered.

Has anyone had these sort of experiences coming off of Mirtazapine or just anti depressants in general? Is this relatively typical for day 3? When will I start to feel normal again? 

Thank you so much ",3.3884585084033603,4.711906075892858,5.036323529411764,82.42338235294119,73.0625,8.306302521008401,25.230042016806717,8.841846274778883,1.7614987394957984,867,27,178,17,17,294,132,224,0.119,0.787,0.094,-0.8245,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,3,13,13,2,2,9,0,18,6,2,1,0,37,38,18,0,3,9,0,9,2,0,1,3,1,0,1,9,12,1,1,8,0,0,5,2,7,0,3,6,10,24,6,30,31,2,40,0,3,0,0,5,15,0,7,21,121,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298527872783383,0.0,0.11633604034771075,0.0,0.0,0.09290794803824197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887627617748238,0.13124869764418462,0.0,0.08123474657375816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216987779420675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082136847664311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296936893471726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001550750532215,0.0,0.0,0.13030412770494704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985111284669994,0.0,0.3001932561895711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891367341041802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26137047315334994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136449191917834,0.0,0.0,0.4112035754171998,0.0829979825293873,0.11154963152476027,0.0,0.0,0.09882141908525284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060698499619361176,0.0,0.13205389968617126,0.09744505943812592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150350344950048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539151870185416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351794662051133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854046052137736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090257032221922,0.11383031634121107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631050160662042,0.0,0.0,0.1109055761223353,0.08054358142764699,0.0,0.12138186207989285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126694046686464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977078276703344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984317014629352,0.0,0.09238984958299956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223177882402809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735181436451467,0.09337992132031116,0.0,0.10696160387806887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774464939664009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319142861620436,0.14147418066382805,0.0,0.10769868393999472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244455400520628
mentalhealth,artistj1985,2019/02/28,"What's the point? I'm 33. You'd think I'd have my shit together. You'd think I'd be happy with my hub and my kid. But I'm not.

I've had so much shit happen in my life. Mental abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse. Had a brother die when I was 11, then my sister committed suicide right after I graduated high school, throwing my life completely out of whack. Then I thrust myself into the religion I grew up in because I kept being told it would give me solace and peace, but instead it ruined 12 years of my life. 

I have nothing but regrets... Broken dreams... No hope.

I wanted to be an artist. I've thought about going back to school, but now that I'm in my 30s it feels like a stupid dream. Do people even do that? Go back to school when they're broke ass poor and have a kid? Seems like a waste of time, but because I always did ""what I was supposed to do"" instead of what I wanted to do I can't help fantasizing what my life could have been. What I wish it was.

I hate where I am and I don't know how to change it. I don't know how to make it better. Is it too late? Am I too old to start over.

I'm such a fucking idiot.",0.4621862348178141,2.3672346194331984,2.5474105263157902,94.39627368421054,83.37246963562755,5.571433198380568,18.382024291497977,6.742157984588678,-0.09063485020242944,889,21,208,10,25,299,135,247,0.234,0.653,0.113,-0.9886,0,0,0,0,5,1,38.0,0,2,0,1,16,14,6,0,8,0,28,8,3,3,1,32,53,16,2,7,6,2,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,2,14,7,0,1,7,3,1,4,5,9,0,0,10,1,30,5,22,36,1,28,0,3,0,2,9,11,4,2,15,129,44,4,0.0,0.6046526289645691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492639009976555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696361718006302,0.0,0.12443594944357332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026834053769693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797140682574884,0.0,0.10701337928406107,0.0,0.0,0.08149072582388019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059275229552994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480956836522957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741307614435066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051607212042533504,0.07291537130740118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943575965530699,0.0,0.09791020256900948,0.11601196601132092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025588466747572,0.10865026162262023,0.0,0.10076821572742024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841212587891915,0.10783744620801894,0.0,0.10137373434217542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218468634117902,0.0,0.11513394708835635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883665661452382,0.09972776416532296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681292874187463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285767615840667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502963699532571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979342745516477,0.0,0.1071002171077917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075913133364854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096484567382119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716308969441712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098861753481887,0.0,0.09291628914176832,0.0,0.0,0.20953684180091248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224224617868384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164272012790437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307984677288518,0.0,0.0810283369286652,0.059515016080020224,0.0,0.0,0.09752763510200044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040135257718265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736989791236588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250416187787821,0.0,0.0,0.06572661725197862
mentalhealth,xRevolvz,2019/02/28,"I need advice I’m only 19 and I already feel like life is going by too fast, and no matter how hard I try I will never have enough time to become adequate or successful enough for myself or others. I feel that I would be better off just giving up.       

I feel like my standards are set too high for myself, and I’ve set goals that I will never be able to reach. How can I continue trying knowing deep down that I will never achieve what I’ve wanted out of life, and how could I settle for any less than what I’ve pictured my life being?    

Life is just flying by and I have the drive to be successful, and no where to put it. 


Don’t have enough money for college

I’m in a skilled trade (carpentry) but I’m laid off more frequently than I’m working

I don’t have enough money to start my own business venture

What do i do to make myself feel happy with myself? ",2.1136499068901315,3.6624991731843615,3.6986368715083806,89.79976163873373,76.82122905027933,6.114115456238363,20.87188081936685,6.742157984588678,0.33410808193668506,668,16,142,6,15,222,96,179,0.026,0.8490000000000001,0.125,0.9261,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,7,8,6,0,0,2,0,21,4,0,4,3,31,36,12,0,4,5,0,5,2,0,4,4,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,5,0,3,3,7,0,0,0,0,5,21,6,22,27,7,22,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,2,10,103,29,7,0.1348050008647557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172988667058974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876067059295692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916720232484851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888153236409654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192240684526791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763082400775326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5571584061658452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726458354971736,0.1926094391061885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931724039424874,0.07661278857390467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350243010933791,0.12075880237419567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242888472174606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408530301993026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.380867035073126,0.1317178283178225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998338485521133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995620003325263,0.31190978139478115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025252777036339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551625926015626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541567344960572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860588007733929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304749350902366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951148218717112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813964614935362,0.0,0.0,0.09576160486989743,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whywhywhywhywhyhelp-,2019/02/28,"help i don’t know what’s going on with me. i can’t focus for more than five second on something and if i do it’s for hours at a time. i’m worried that something broken inside of me i’ve became very paranoid and my sleeping schedule has became very irregular i’ll highlight some issues i’m having and some background on me please try to help me i can’t help myself

issue i having

sleeping very irregularly, used to sleep 6-7 hours at a time
now am sleeping 12 hours, awake for 2, sleep 4 hours, awake for 4, then sleep for 6 hours, awake 24, sleep 12, awake 8, sleep 6

very paranoid, need to look out windows, freak out when friend asked if something was out there

unmotivated, was motivated for a while but not now, don’t want to do anything. did unlock everything except for a few trophies on ssbm 

no conversations have any substance anymore
used to love talking to anyone about anything

my self image is awful, i hate my body and always have but i hate it

craving drugs i’ve been off of forever

i hate myself


background

i’m a musician have been for 13 years and make music by myself i’m a solo artist but i hate

struggles with depression and anxiety but have been doing better the past year or so (sober kinda happy)

moved recently across my country (canada) to live w friends in a better city that has a lot higher wages so i could get out of student loan debt

went to college for 3 months became dependant on benzod and alcohol and dropped out

have had trouble sticking with a job for more than 3 months

have gf but haven’t told her i’ve been feeling worse she is back near where i was before

not taking any meds or going to any therapy

staying withfriends but they probably don’t like me

have no real friends

want to have more listeners for my music. not because of streaming money but because i want people to like what i make

father struggled with alcohol and depression
i think he’s dying

parents separated when i was 5

current 19y/o m

dead broke, $100 to my name and net worth is in the negatives with credit card debt and student loan debt, family is also in debt so can’t have any help or go home

i want a job but can’t seem to catch a break 

have so many dreams (financially stable, music is loved by others, good friends) all seem unachievable

haven’t felt like this before

i think and want help but can’t get it

i want money and job but can’t get it

i want to be happy but can’t get it

i can’t feel good

i want to kill myself and think about it every day but can’t do it

want to rob people and get flight home so can kill myself there because don’t want family to pay for flying body back

can’t find anyone i want to be friends with nobody is relatable

music still sounds good to me which i’m happy 
but i want to make it but nothing sounds good

can’t seem to get motivated to go to do anything

can’t leaves bourse unless it’s nighttime
unless it’s past 1am because don’t like people looking at me

smoke cigarettes and want to want to quit 

neck and back pain for a few years


please try to help me i need help desperately 
i just want to get a job and to feel not like this
i wish i was healthy and happy and had money and a job so i could do what i want to do
please help 
",3.1203290785206335,4.4919905386949965,4.347135588681603,86.91050313904016,73.8103186646434,6.8681722157755365,24.30244874884704,7.362008331298528,0.9786577464369666,2531,75,525,28,51,832,259,659,0.181,0.633,0.185,0.9308,12,0,8,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,1,5,21,37,6,2,16,1,64,17,11,8,1,107,128,53,4,23,27,2,4,5,6,0,4,3,3,1,19,32,2,0,14,2,13,7,26,14,0,2,15,9,51,23,80,109,9,58,0,3,2,2,29,20,0,13,33,309,70,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631025720499688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036034235412732984,0.03749329004846793,0.0,0.0,0.12256859731372323,0.0,0.034470556351844615,0.0,0.044687126405587294,0.06301359665219651,0.0,0.11124091093754596,0.0,0.04212474811296242,0.0,0.0,0.10394441149109376,0.0,0.10987192884246393,0.0,0.076684992227467,0.0,0.0,0.07970330706386848,0.0,0.10010236411068904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719530269916265,0.0,0.0,0.029059786547838695,0.0,0.07761972785074943,0.0,0.04676486705267071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052254960416876516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037964750775720674,0.0,0.04049676368529414,0.0,0.08495657253790533,0.0,0.0683506328514782,0.032190667261479136,0.043264389833605164,0.0,0.04118376044929853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740651086075408,0.0,0.16479287827005076,0.0,0.10243389094122032,0.15117579435317513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918676052554868,0.0,0.17794854746546845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416206011250391,0.0,0.09039713017564642,0.0,0.22187369869778295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406126491014072,0.2235740566988616,0.0,0.0997037903689856,0.0,0.024763639306022003,0.0,0.0,0.04771172890709345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006949616436074,0.0,0.03978855123477225,0.0,0.0756776190155981,0.0,0.0,0.03830815579818482,0.08133629867067572,0.0,0.09023312297811456,0.04568347557409917,0.0,0.0,0.05005118205534452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193246445923801,0.04789134283132224,0.0,0.06682241100797437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0432360089383024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047946710521841115,0.0,0.050033477726875976,0.0,0.08602918744760234,0.09371619227734412,0.0,0.0,0.1483860978198618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04858199069032082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047926550229507994,0.0,0.051287817090866765,0.0,0.0,0.04449102956319702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306200846146348,0.04700710678180663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607380287405973,0.0,0.0,0.1040675031650604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802765761448822,0.035984744215153186,0.0,0.0,0.09421238900511804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03387929567925299,0.036217289680034216,0.0,0.0,0.051529707673360826,0.0,0.0,0.08661733206884333,0.0,0.0,0.05254936086429963,0.0,0.0,0.04305648581465539,0.0,0.061185173311762375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783424743686575,0.0,0.14871592576377382,0.4252381695820248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041770804464844026,0.0,0.0,0.051816445043971725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576032479403755,0.04591969609448586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870509315763278
mentalhealth,Sanoooki,2019/02/28,"What to expect? I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to ask, so if not, feel free to delete this.

Tomorrow (or today, technically) I'll be having my first mental health screening and I don't know what to expect.

I just turned 20 and I've been dealing with suicidal/depressive thoughts and anxiety for a long time. I've only told a small handful of people about it, most of the time through texting (because that's easier for me). I have a hard time verbalizing my feelings and actually talking about everything that's on my mind. 

I'd like to know if anyone has any experience in something like this so I can know what I'm walking into? I like to be prepared or at least have something together instead of going in blind. ",4.151704545454546,5.703454347222222,5.412676767676769,79.57272727272729,71.5,8.56969696969697,30.452020202020197,9.095868883498916,2.6801194444444456,582,25,110,12,11,194,93,144,0.077,0.833,0.09,0.4365,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,10,3,1,0,1,25,22,11,0,5,8,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,6,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,3,6,9,6,20,17,2,17,0,0,2,0,4,8,0,6,10,71,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.1712820956562411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935954547234072,0.0,0.13427223704955366,0.0,0.0,0.12272758960816595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408740568452554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699529711708253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809533017188409,0.1511750258875637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774596144574815,0.17169213411601747,0.0,0.0,0.17749626247289682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929713056936306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997519995469383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572313477155246,0.0,0.0,0.1865694376389672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893834273954122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572504603068021,0.0,0.0,0.15532958123362947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768827685335713,0.0,0.1772250559401725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334907871833567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168339317768433,0.0,0.18338092975633585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989302884253813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702475761537166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542542112658765,0.0,0.0,0.1410762407073733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934318857778222,0.30704118175900263,0.0,0.1663723347235241,0.16771677865642512,0.0,0.0,0.19091524081623704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Habaln,2019/02/28,"Most likely had a panic attack and I feel stuck in it I don’t even know how to call it, I’ve never been given an example how panic attack looks like or feels like so I’m just assuming. 

It was few last hours at work yesterday and after conversation with my girlfriend it just struck me hard, I was feeling off and verge of crying for few hours and it was like switch on and off. I left work and I felt completely empty, like it never happened but at the same time weird like I’m stuck there, like panic attack left but there’s no door for me and I’m there behind the walls afraid to go outside, afraid to speak to my girlfriend. I’m starting work in less than an hour and I’m in bed crying feeling like I’m not here.",1.2268432671081655,3.2608292119205298,2.7148079470198674,93.52859161147906,81.38410596026489,5.351169977924945,18.013686534216333,6.42735559955562,-0.20569439293598224,565,12,124,5,15,184,83,151,0.219,0.664,0.117,-0.9451,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,10,17,3,5,5,0,6,0,0,2,2,28,25,14,0,0,6,0,6,8,2,0,0,1,2,0,6,9,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,9,0,0,9,8,9,8,19,16,5,23,0,0,1,0,5,12,0,3,18,75,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844926581833435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503594768517747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181192908609012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247498042879843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440924492054272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22785215570442774,0.16096514303744325,0.10816890873100164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402587811128586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962269357597414,0.0,0.1009190306944215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328349613604206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191363960621307,0.09183093407726373,0.0,0.0,0.2448055010825619,0.0,0.0,0.4403102812437082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460396293303763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377688518269324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39653806128684826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973958906739942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569151952754168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460481000315713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheZanyWanderer,2019/02/28,"Got my diagnosis today.... I come from a family and background, where mental health issues are considered stigma.  
Even when I try explaining my problems with depression, they think that it can be cured by taking a walk in the park. So, I wanted to show them proof of my illness, after my diagnosis. Today after thorough assessment I've been diagnosed with clinical depression (Major Depression Syndrome) and Bipolar Disorder. However, the doctor refused to give me my diagnosis on paper, without which I have no proof to backup my wellness issues, to my family and friends.(They think I'm making shit up!) So, with no one to reveal my diagnosis to, I'm choosing to declare it out online! Sorry for burdening my problems onto strangers over the internet.",7.528159457167092,9.231750450381682,8.372162849872772,60.963401187447005,63.58015267175573,11.318405428329092,37.456318914334176,11.20814326018867,5.1657881255301135,603,30,81,18,9,203,88,131,0.218,0.736,0.046,-0.9759,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,0,6,8,1,0,5,0,5,7,1,1,2,21,16,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,5,1,0,2,3,7,1,1,2,0,16,1,23,13,1,14,0,3,0,0,5,7,1,0,5,65,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395819186409373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4186908640799548,0.16446578298305695,0.0,0.0,0.1857102907553808,0.16585338825762447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070249767533302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30551116964803515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544220429021668,0.0,0.0,0.12959708264424816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172239470105043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33825242948035844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081620335289108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329681167764898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980155887871394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100981408530445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633030938010532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18138896280318131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183287226190875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20765560286963247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30718732001938065,0.0,0.0,0.11001358285289856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557457319593292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456921746250774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619944216053386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,9427Throwaway,2019/02/28,"I want to understand what my girlfriend is going through Alright so bear with me on this one because I’m not always good at writing down my thoughts. So me and my girlfriend go to colleges but we are still within driving distance. This means that we only get one or so days to hang out per week. This is an important detail because she struggles with feeling alone even though she has many people in her life that love her very much. I always make sure to tell her that I love her, and that her friends love her but it doesn’t seem to help. I’m running out of ideas to help her and it’s hard to see her struggle and not be able to help her. She also kinda isolates herself and shuts herself away when she starts to feel alone and she won’t reach out to anyone. So basically I’m trying to better understand what she’s going through because I’ve never had an experience with this before.
P.S. sorry for the wall of text with bad writing quality.",4.085238095238097,5.433618661375661,4.471825396825398,87.04678571428578,71.38095238095238,6.669841269841268,28.314814814814817,6.868970318607317,1.3400306878306876,753,28,149,6,14,237,111,189,0.103,0.6890000000000001,0.208,0.9789,0,2,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,0,1,9,11,0,2,3,1,8,4,0,1,2,35,29,16,0,1,5,0,3,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,12,15,0,0,8,0,0,6,5,3,0,2,2,4,27,8,29,25,1,23,0,0,1,3,31,11,0,3,6,103,39,1,0.1274992273380578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26410149553427004,0.0,0.10196108603804274,0.21217914179082564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915042425946451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978972110201855,0.0,0.1064565291809945,0.2331670367407108,0.0,0.1084924517028678,0.0,0.0,0.1127627054657031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222645388513923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421203718293564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471870952020547,0.0,0.0,0.1289348805305237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985055867658753,0.0,0.06661308394759054,0.0,0.21738224735119585,0.1069403027312942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421426429443815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25638013354900163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393110840537696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005647486898323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452190917243494,0.0,0.08510672429587933,0.12926420472575453,0.0,0.13888403625043438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372660234259353,0.0,0.09833526420115273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727935523004136,0.09696890772581664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839191058633797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016003768078211,0.11607050803247933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272494648946826,0.09024460934479901,0.0,0.10182104764963906,0.0,0.0,0.26657975092780906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201665128747432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143994444938912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526734351070634,0.10122014470452284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656360609345322,0.0,0.0,0.2654623843213473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052002153531838,0.0752023476750596,0.0,0.10227218953575257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tiritheon,2019/02/28,"Is this a normal side effect of stress or is it something more serious Any time I get into a stressful situation where I feel danger or extreme anger I'll completely blank on the situation. I'll know without a doubt that it did happen , even with people telling me about it it tends to be a blur. Once I'm calm it's as if the event never happened. I'm still doing what I was before, I return to my post event thoughts and it's like a few hours passed with nothing to account for it... It's been this way since someone tried to kill me. What's going on? ",3.573586956521737,4.38212595652174,4.791902173913043,86.31046195652176,72.04347826086956,7.141304347826088,26.54891304347826,7.1686216300943375,1.1645,435,14,92,4,8,144,79,115,0.16899999999999998,0.7709999999999999,0.06,-0.9271,0,0,1,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,3,3,7,0,7,0,0,1,1,16,17,5,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,0,4,0,1,2,2,7,0,0,4,1,7,2,14,12,2,16,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,5,8,58,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187598064169615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250331378601764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790912240717547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837334791033716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061919163446006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363523345693928,0.0,0.10185505246055387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169679192155868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649593909068848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982807585504398,0.0,0.09849481484898308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755800802342645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822577900415295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559788647043867,0.17196675507026496,0.0,0.0,0.19086381879774175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424882159739778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164354987336478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825292177813995,0.4029023546748767,0.0,0.0,0.151852817117975,0.13797257785054193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312559939433564,0.0,0.4105926004088319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664648139030246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228093519000026,0.10450482469074997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167885023627112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225676820733865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276201753245535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emem254,2019/03/01,"Drowning Do you ever just feel like you’re drowning. Like you’re getting smaller everyone else is growing you’re looking up their looking down your shoulders are heavy and all you can do is cry. 

That’s how I’m feeling. Lying in bed needing to cry. I’m dealing with a lot right now. Crazy ex plus my anxiety and potential eating issues. 

There’s a little voice in my head that always tells me you’re faking this. This isn’t actually you. You could make it go away if you wanted it to. So I always feel like I’m lying. 

There’s this guy I like. Things are complicated with us. But I don’t want to feel like I’m lying to him. 

I don’t have a question really. I just had to speak it. ",-0.11138755980861248,2.1838272097902087,2.1984100110415916,92.70627898417374,91.58741258741259,4.6888479941111525,19.41442767758557,6.339386263674448,0.13032307692307746,533,17,114,6,19,180,82,143,0.16,0.723,0.117,-0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,6,1,0,8,6,0,0,3,0,13,3,2,2,2,23,29,7,2,5,4,1,4,5,0,0,0,2,1,1,9,5,1,0,5,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,8,17,5,13,27,2,11,0,0,2,0,15,7,0,3,7,69,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.1446000463825986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465914095855745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335552400192313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921781345279638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830782472595447,0.0,0.3255324597687124,0.0,0.1527646875254432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516227650997597,0.12378344268058256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403520007377695,0.0,0.14159012872852725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996923605819225,0.3175745048746147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741672498455174,0.0,0.08421279355545211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671920533349642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207305482051595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465900612889488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36196066251396897,0.14851296877446335,0.0,0.0,0.24886387301584606,0.0,0.0,0.12597536952194194,0.0,0.0,0.09890975584217006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987187641483293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659929200720758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492641978398693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654293398277575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129513828522334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844267019298236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823951129381116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747980763879141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,niglitoffspring,2019/03/01,i think i need help but i have no idea who to talk to i get so anxious talking to people that i haven’t spent time with anyone outside of school in months besides for a few people who know how much i’ve been going through and even then they treat me like i’m a victim so it’s really a struggle to do anything. i literally can not do anything in school i can’t even hear when people talk to me because i feel so numb. i told my mom i needed help but she keeps telling me that i’m lying and i’ve been trying to get a shrink or something but i can’t afford any of the people near where i live. i don’t know what to do,1.3277272727272729,2.4202681231884067,3.2404084321475644,94.17527667984191,77.91304347826087,5.597891963109355,21.241106719367586,5.565023196281405,-0.1178347826086954,483,12,116,2,11,163,81,138,0.158,0.752,0.09,-0.8816,1,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,8,5,1,1,5,0,11,1,0,1,0,17,26,12,0,2,5,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,5,0,1,1,6,3,0,0,4,2,19,2,15,22,2,9,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,1,5,75,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320612295501998,0.0,0.0,0.171452445778427,0.0,0.10611835570376532,0.0,0.2497810670044737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251517962954554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004800984526723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673747841591476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858300160864885,0.0,0.0862521475723622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710513761194579,0.0,0.2034511776646123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17132540518423264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489664457982514,0.0,0.0,0.1668133116667344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414522938961121,0.0,0.1340122087039091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17774657156167378,0.1211382186651902,0.0,0.11156551422962846,0.22506521630455928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208618988345698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722522222627727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071907039216813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683692520126028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15865883458975882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659514231608182,0.13265022306871022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724556120087537,0.0,0.0,0.08849600823426243,0.0,0.0,0.14501897113579404,0.0,0.10303919043268582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ASystemGlitch,2019/03/01,"I'm sitting next to my suicidal friend Originally posted on r/advice thought might be relevant here. 

I need advice. 

What do I say? He's one of my best friends. Has diagnosed aspergers, depression and anxiety. Multiple times he's talked about wanting to die / killing himself. A few years ago, whilst I was at uni, he tried to kill himself with a rope in a tree. The only thing that stopped him was knowing that I was making a special effort to travel and see him for his birthday. 

We were out tonight, managed to convince him to come back to mine to chat and have some whisky. (an achievement, he was initially insistant that he would just wonder south London ""thinking"". (Previously this has landed him in hospital or police custody for drunk and disorderly) 

Currently he's asleep but we were just talking about things that he is dealing with. He doesn't see the point of living any more.

Has not seen his gp or taken medication for anything for about 6 months.

Used to have really good care at a well renowned centre (UK) but couldn't afford (was paid for by family insurance, stopped due to chronic diagnosis or similar, I'm not sure of the particulars)

Would me contacting samaritans (UK suicide charity) or similar be helpful for him?

I understand that his thoughts are not ""normal"" and cannot be reasoned with or solved by me. I don't know what the next step to take is, if he's already refusing treatment and won't accept that he has people that love him and want to help him get better.

I'll keep trying to help him as much as I can. ",5.522679180887373,6.682310235494883,5.991076791808876,78.20279266211605,67.80546075085324,9.546006825938568,33.080034129692834,9.766711354998122,3.2368690784982928,1221,54,225,27,20,394,177,293,0.109,0.745,0.146,0.9287,2,0,1,0,0,1,40.0,2,0,0,4,8,15,2,0,10,0,29,6,1,4,1,53,54,17,5,8,13,0,0,0,2,4,3,1,0,0,12,14,1,4,9,3,1,3,8,3,1,1,12,4,27,12,38,34,5,28,0,1,3,1,38,9,0,9,14,145,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22168732250127648,0.10054991966425474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125174155959438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713710948924953,0.0,0.08677456176354162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933442171946664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722159537010421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903905206539632,0.100320683411338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565067384199434,0.0,0.0,0.0977109396877078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116942592164629,0.09769813111957093,0.11513028591538498,0.11772368287315538,0.0,0.13000198876807645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693284546471744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17527333604448014,0.0,0.05926312319450025,0.0,0.0,0.09514071350019036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280916381396044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082286733337872,0.2509896453983333,0.0,0.12467764816540199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016183264819352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237609165015303,0.0,0.07571621050596172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114270006013885,0.0,0.12033258369358912,0.0,0.0,0.09053970606552003,0.0,0.0833849876339792,0.0841078016266184,0.0,0.0,0.2412707478823661,0.0,0.11113849770425553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768639204968466,0.08626954321935522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863891560097745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072291534414467,0.0,0.10863573962641422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266693484119666,0.11662617123613392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020504744094487,0.0,0.0,0.18077996965601648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966713388987275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481506564631006,0.0,0.10690756881864792,0.0,0.08528614987867195,0.1823434126313445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071730539896727,0.07268213635895114,0.0,0.18010341362092894,0.06614264814019732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540246854840916,0.0,0.0,0.11808588533387385,0.0,0.09796814189173453,0.0,0.0,0.1338093278578465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198827632096186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301130375728693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115654783124028,0.0,0.0,0.07304597737985805
mentalhealth,TioRennyDlarb,2019/03/01,"Had my first anxiety/panic attack today, need advice on how to cope in the future. I have been struggling with depression for about a year and a half, and I've learned to cope with my condition without taking any meds. However, today was a pretty stressful day in school where I had a serious discussion with my gf, and then a teacher got very mad at our group and I felt personally attacked. At first I was just angry, but my emotions later fueled an all out panic attack. It was messed up, I felt that my body was being crushed and suffocated, plus I was trembling uncontrollably. I had a chat with my teacher which helped me calm down a bit, but I was still quite nervous about what I had just gone through. I was able to end the school day with the support of my best friend and gf, however.

Later in at home I thought I was calmed down and was watching Netflix, but when I finished watching I felt my insecurities creeping back on me as they usually do when I have an extended period of time to think. Instead of feeling sad as is custom, I began feeling nervous and could feel another panic attack coming. Thankfully my gf texted me at that moment and after talking for a while was able to calm me down again.

I think that my brain has caught on to a new to express my insecurities and since I have no experience dealing with things like this, I'd like a bit of advice on how to cope with future panic attacks (aside from the usual take deep breaths and visiting my therapist, which I already plan on doing). This is very important to me since I don't want to solely rely on others to help me calm down whenever I have these.

Tl;dr Had my first panic attack, experienced in coping with depression but not this, what can I do besides calling my therapist?

Thanks for any advice!",7.458462532299741,6.785761616279067,7.779612403100778,73.32559431524551,63.65116279069768,10.551421188630492,35.099483204134366,9.861636050157227,3.3478196382428926,1412,55,258,25,18,464,172,344,0.223,0.65,0.127,-0.9898,2,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,1,6,13,35,7,12,16,0,30,3,3,2,1,46,51,24,0,3,8,0,6,2,4,0,0,0,1,1,14,22,0,0,10,2,0,4,4,24,0,4,24,9,44,11,55,25,4,55,0,3,2,0,17,22,0,0,31,195,58,3,0.1525157669225669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235549634283692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415247067192431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371595149584308,0.07996303985650137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5205261082962552,0.0,0.05863760526349865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002794395508467,0.0,0.16650771624213098,0.08470531741624998,0.0,0.08512901793904598,0.07786782515647403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568941426743463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060885714783382575,0.0,0.0,0.09836005235046408,0.0786185293761571,0.13136160656686438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577985486343763,0.06754185020771618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745948427657222,0.0,0.0,0.115674831513151,0.0,0.2196585808676968,0.0,0.0,0.19459475014742966,0.0,0.0,0.05891665159632874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609903956942185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222810367380784,0.0,0.07649287479943306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451149984940918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470531741624998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654425432640889,0.0,0.0736503390398568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578887822517887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658544243470821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758168268410195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110964582949008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543540985538266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616261845279536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608996442385048,0.0,0.08735314785640654,0.07972129715535459,0.0,0.0,0.0865365424550604,0.0,0.0,0.11467287590438335,0.06129319812889394,0.0,0.14041602704278014,0.0,0.17708256054880875,0.050662349288969774,0.09772594512722607,0.0,0.06054024138001754,0.04446658509592842,0.0,0.14456711384204976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679745699999561,0.12584148045437427,0.04497887543909702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350987838775994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049107576736147136
mentalhealth,LMS3oul,2019/03/01,"Is this normal behavior? My mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer and just had surgery. It looks ok but she got re admitted back because she started complaining about stomach pain and vomiting. So they had her come back to the hospital. And now my dad had a panic attack in her hospital room and had a seizure and passed out. My sister is blaming me for not making sure (he’s diabetic) he wasn’t eating junk food, his blood pressure was 90/60. So as a way to combat my anxiety and fear I buy things. Like I collect sneakers and Predator action figures. So literally while my sister is yelling at me and my other sister is yelling at her to stop yelling at me, I literally pulled out my phone and ordered $200 worth of sneakers and predator figures. Is that normal?",3.3985322896281787,5.848014410958908,4.479882583170255,81.51849315068493,76.12328767123287,7.1851272015655585,30.976516634050878,8.192908349453996,2.5726982387475545,608,30,108,11,14,198,93,146,0.236,0.7120000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.9865,0,0,0,0,3,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,1,3,4,1,12,10,3,1,1,25,18,16,0,2,3,5,0,1,0,0,5,3,1,0,5,14,2,1,3,0,2,4,2,6,0,0,8,4,20,3,14,10,0,19,0,0,1,0,17,7,0,0,7,75,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926040711798473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23683967703827724,0.0,0.3201617272577046,0.0,0.12690720697747507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933232641323876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21130266559522914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130244953720352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342651977105211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517372620767863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650398958010573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170832516585993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748223656607581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896462587122993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24382291681256205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079527924115105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22152275581905287,0.2442594009786745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473539074409246,0.0,0.0,0.17405138295318773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19621122352017886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383083874452372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524699412993968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,changed_canadian,2019/03/01,"Paranoid delusions. Coping? A combination of homelessness and a lot of system failures in my city. Have left me in a very  bad place. I see shit. I see the people Ive lost every day walking down the street. I know they aren't there. That they are dead. That the cops aren't coming for me anymore but it scares me. 

Every time someone looks at me i think they want to fight me. I get aggressive, i think they are stalking me and my past is coming back to haunt me. I want the voices to stop. The nightmares the flashbacks. 

How does it stop. When will it stop. Why do people say that I'm okay? Will I ever be okay? 
Its scary and it makes me wish there was an afterlife so I could go meet my father. 
Dad. I'm sorry i failed you. ",-0.6479304347826087,1.5355254533333351,1.1134782608695666,98.69543478260871,97.8,3.67536231884058,15.18840579710145,5.511479884284512,-0.8694985507246376,558,13,125,4,23,180,92,150,0.263,0.67,0.067,-0.9841,0,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,1,4,2,7,9,3,1,10,2,13,1,1,2,1,20,30,7,1,4,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,8,5,0,3,3,0,0,4,2,7,0,0,2,5,27,2,10,24,1,21,0,2,3,0,10,7,1,1,9,79,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786075817060727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239724595888715,0.1329061009665885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742336887346037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708983892224668,0.0,0.0,0.10265596169872006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929681799550386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14398466058137546,0.26822688426276103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316338442503783,0.0,0.0904639265656862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747948660720575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294621742099306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336685447831234,0.0,0.17376043973845845,0.13532654714766112,0.0,0.0,0.10625184738995903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195240606903054,0.22070650402370653,0.0,0.16630602933646765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265838962416725,0.15936389144733304,0.0,0.25368683428154504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633928474898339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487010967740815,0.0,0.0,0.17818555888037269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3992371626292152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398831924583466,0.0,0.0,0.09281735719732903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133765069182093,0.18777337359990365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436324352473932,0.0,0.18304563211574626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lantzerxx,2019/03/01,"I almost always feel like I’m spacing out throughout the entire day until I think about it. Almost the entire day I feel like I’m just going through the day and don’t really realize where I am or what I’m doing until i actually “force” myself to think about.  

Has anyone else experienced this? I don’t know exactly how to word it, and was going to go see a psychologist and wondering how I should word it to her. 

Thanks.",5.46670588235294,5.424774023529412,7.143529411764708,74.1258823529412,67.58823529411765,10.094117647058825,27.588235294117645,9.888512548439397,2.472105882352941,332,9,64,7,5,116,51,85,0.0,0.903,0.097,0.7486,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,2,1,21,21,8,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,7,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,4,9,3,10,19,0,11,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,4,7,43,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.20098521586502388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4124742038814669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137348474592706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440105633661571,0.2110282235398452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3984774513176736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205141056349366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827702096748732,0.2942727521519137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35115188925781865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318908416354395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012412684779659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319419146042159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412179329314666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896183773903022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26393903223472703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22335257392053684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,khaleesicee,2019/03/01,"Finally Happy After Starting Meds & Changing My Lifestyle! I’ve struggled with severe anxiety for 9+ years. I visited my GP 5 months ago and was prescribed 10mg of Lexapro a day. 

I’ve been on the med for the past few months. It has boosted my mood and allowed me to relax (as opposed to feeling tense all the time). Because of that I’ve had more energy, and have been able to go to the gym regularly, cook healthy meals, practice self-care, and build healthier friendships. My quality of life has improved so much. I’m genuinely happy and could cry with joy over how far I’ve come from being afraid of almost everything, and feeling anxious 24/7.

I work in the mental health field and honestly feel embarrassed that I didn’t visit my GP sooner. Because my anxiety wasn’t as extreme as the clients I work with (who are adolescents with adverse childhood experiences) I didn’t think I needed treatment beyond the odd therapy appointment. I was very wrong.

I know this thread is mostly people seeking advice and support, but I wanted to add some celebration into the mix.

TL;DR 10mg of Lexapro a day has significantly improved my quality of life! I went from being an anxious mess to enjoying life to the fullest! ",5.774473684210527,7.1896288596491225,6.3218859649122825,75.11861842105263,67.42105263157896,9.208771929824564,35.30263157894737,9.516144504307137,3.569047368421053,972,48,165,20,16,316,145,228,0.105,0.7490000000000001,0.146,0.8916,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,3,14,0,3,12,0,17,6,0,2,1,31,30,14,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,15,2,1,5,3,0,5,3,6,0,0,9,3,18,7,30,18,6,23,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,3,12,99,23,2,0.13000613895702226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270404943542932,0.11524259806383685,0.0,0.1301823688175935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086159724394245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19890868091934308,0.29373986449041595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850107126969046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752925681767775,0.11198877718122513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379932326137543,0.0,0.1428056390263018,0.16768640897549505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684113485033955,0.12717095012217755,0.0,0.0,0.1972050303122292,0.0,0.0,0.142415370577549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388548476192369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767879047481621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819044635018227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144797401652096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27548154205092673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888150251903236,0.0,0.13101561029846231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20753931956916175,0.0,0.0955694708314802,0.0963979047348267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410557013572668,0.09012988745331786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562475621754086,0.14686993224520795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201901429170532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359106437969142,0.0,0.0,0.14752942584598044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486733500447123,0.0,0.0,0.08330268442584607,0.0,0.0,0.07580762510751472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726867998385324,0.0766809890997652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051699328893067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892920350527084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214130424390162,0.0,0.08371969106962579
mentalhealth,Nathan_Rasmus,2019/03/01,Seeking help Okay so recently I broke up with my girlfriend and I have been struggling getting over her. I mean I wanted her for months then when I got get she broke up with me and said it was her. I can't help but get the feeling I did something wrong. I've been beating myself up mentally and I have started to think of ways to continue to hurt myself but without the pain I haven't ate I days due to lose of appetite. I don't know where to turn. I have few friends and I don't want to bog them down so I haven't talked to them in days other than a hello. I have lost interest in myself and in my hobbies. I dont know what to do I have nothing going right for me,0.2943678160919525,2.224805103448276,2.1772413793103453,96.67022988505748,84.17241379310346,4.9701149425287365,21.39080459770115,6.079149491110277,0.04437011494252818,520,17,122,4,15,172,81,145,0.17800000000000002,0.6970000000000001,0.125,-0.8384,0,0,1,0,0,2,7.0,0,0,2,3,4,11,0,1,3,1,16,2,0,0,0,17,33,11,0,2,3,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,7,1,0,5,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,8,2,30,3,24,25,1,21,0,5,0,0,13,10,0,0,9,89,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23557935359315615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140563292901447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234982896569116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110959040040436,0.0,0.2862704126668442,0.0,0.1038002712710879,0.0,0.14607635569204758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24484361290009196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19552319445748587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007517202758196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20433088802406615,0.19937649697240614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19895185757365466,0.0,0.0,0.184061266344102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578396379283026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17525096099494133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943451142192507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18033800709337086,0.0,0.0,0.15597619221837455,0.17373539374983166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060756597620888,0.0,0.0,0.1292757119528228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909382030882758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680158915952382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703031074201918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986632235595996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21545524118948006,0.1449735754226691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17606141130951014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19969153598822625,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oh_basil,2019/03/01,"Can’t afford a therapist... To start, I have been having some digestive issues, now to the point where this past week, I haven’t been able to keep anything down. I’ve missed almost a week of work, so I went to the doctor. I have a few appointments on Monday to get an ultra sound done and bloodwork to see if it is a physical issue that can be treated, but my doctor is convinced that it is stress. 

That’s all fine, but I cannot afford it. Even with insurance, it’s about $150 out of pocket PER SESSION. I looked into better help, and they offered me financial aid, which still made it $55 per week (I would be billed $221 per month). My budget is so tight that I only have $46 left over at the end of every month. I am at a complete standstill, because I’ve let stress and anxiety build up over the years to the point where it is affecting my job and my health, but I absolutely cannot afford the help I need.  

Oh, for some background: I’m a teacher in the US, have had a history of sexual abuse, family issues, financial woes, and a very stressful job (I come home with bruises from one of my behavior kids and is the key stressor at work).

Are there any other options? I’ve already tried to eliminate the things causing me stress, but everything else is out of my control, but I can’t help but stress for (ex., there isn’t anything I can do to stop stressing about my brother who is on the heart transplant list)",6.208645833333335,5.177204517361112,6.729944444444445,81.00950000000002,66.3263888888889,9.902222222222221,31.7,9.029198982220553,2.4086775,1103,36,231,16,15,362,158,288,0.14400000000000002,0.7879999999999999,0.068,-0.9735,5,0,0,0,1,0,44.0,1,0,1,4,11,12,0,6,19,0,32,5,1,4,1,33,43,15,0,3,7,2,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,1,15,12,1,4,0,0,2,2,6,8,0,1,6,4,25,4,35,33,4,33,0,2,2,0,10,18,0,5,13,153,40,7,0.0905845241152118,0.1073278485855262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907073159939862,0.0,0.09996227488802226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061600582674034364,0.0,0.06929691300739135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149086690090311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521948512547781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011465030663383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305525892188872,0.0,0.0780305466233356,0.09497615009210696,0.0,0.10159824635363697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543419765372327,0.0,0.09269941844488362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567174634600267,0.0,0.08023100145486148,0.0,0.0,0.05983022385510362,0.0,0.07632136844555527,0.0,0.08141152935091922,0.0,0.08539502751962859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732667511184199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628711321115516,0.0,0.10734309722400474,0.18215069122382446,0.0,0.09086366349820146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28364012573419384,0.17978232552595885,0.08051568714107153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842035049791807,0.09262881319708263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760681859614049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571326695997712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14460740584398316,0.0,0.0,0.0671672768390922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061382417886377924,0.06889361248460718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647317812052144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17126330958919672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218413770195065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411619240473382,0.0,0.07234091797120816,0.07573271826680629,0.6225855979248924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517561429934713,0.06018033274199041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061500945749900386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896202913232206,0.0,0.0,0.0747417191738655,0.0,0.0,0.21798432381287589,0.0,0.0,0.08397276138231383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318932248246989,0.0,0.0,0.0643486469344813,0.0,0.0,0.05833346359991232
mentalhealth,sheep_66,2019/03/01,"i hear voices in my head, does this make me crazy? i often hear a voice in my head of ""woman version of me"" witch is always very distorced and wierd;

​

""she"" talks bad things about me and how i everything is hard and is going to go wrong becuse of me and how its easy to everyone else and how im a piece of shit and a horrible person etc.. 

​

some times she tell me to do things, (i obviously dont do what she says) but the worse about it is thats she is fucking always right! Every time i dont do what she says me to do it turns to be the right thing! 

​

im a really sad person and constantly think about suicide, she also tells me to kill my self but some time after that she tells me to dont do this in a form of ""self-bullying"", saying that suicide is for ""weak losers who couldnt handle it"" or shit like that.

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the most commum thing that she says to me things like ""everyone hates me, i dont have any real friends, nobody loves me and its all my fault"".

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sometimes i feel the urge to cut my self, as i have a very strong mind, ( part of the reason i dont do what she tells me to do) i go against this and satisfy my self just by thinking in the feeling of a razor in my skin.

​

sometimes i even see her, her's fisical appearance is like this: her whole body is very shiny and white (the color white, not the race, she is paper-colored) with a long messy black hair, her face is just white, she dont have eyes or a mouth, its just a slender-men like face, you can see the places where it sould have the eyes and the mouth but they just dont exist, if i look her straight into the face it will start to get really weird and distorced, sometimes she walks, but she seems to never touch the groun, she always wears only a torn and dirty lilac dress and nothing else.

​

i dont think this things are related to the whole ""her"" thing, but im a teenager who is very confused with my sexuality, but im already working on this.

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I've never been in a therapist so i dont know if i have depression, anxiety or something else so i really want advise and help, thanks reddit.

​

(im not a  english speaker, sorry for shitty grammar)",5.884866666666667,5.016906875555558,6.144722222222224,84.40375,66.91111111111111,9.011111111111113,29.63888888888889,7.9370924344782425,1.7146222222222218,1714,49,370,17,24,550,196,450,0.179,0.7240000000000001,0.097,-0.9923,0,0,1,0,0,2,96.0,0,1,1,3,16,24,6,1,28,0,38,18,15,5,4,61,63,33,3,4,17,0,6,4,1,1,1,9,0,6,31,18,0,0,8,0,0,5,14,16,0,0,1,26,58,8,39,59,11,27,0,3,11,2,45,13,3,12,13,247,89,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04293187762220752,0.03111176563711608,0.09711451675815204,0.3793752690879349,0.4254569952823013,0.026456267424694296,0.0,0.029761693520507945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032483476933387614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04321392220844144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04204174213549335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03350822841180542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03404542711992393,0.0,0.4103600935654128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749868609606603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04338859370399529,0.02569593230580199,0.0,0.03277856224995339,0.07434947796061889,0.034964688619238474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03934237993520903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030057376284350783,0.035966411151066364,0.020325898209535776,0.0,0.06633065413540813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03485062351943154,0.03840995542710051,0.07985409957116539,0.0,0.08769597811460528,0.0,0.026076741427976318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21011667423087335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04304185899273903,0.0,0.02138079339235241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602673023001856,0.0,0.0,0.03442909340698655,0.032669825234536265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03511266207050368,0.0,0.02596893151420652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039282266497874085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06001081025262257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03732973828265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029588483690014006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04212958057592376,0.0,0.0,0.06793949228590293,0.0406467274906552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044281626267182746,0.07476929873912902,0.04000011402256872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644814271807957,0.0,0.1237530871434831,0.0,0.0,0.0620034021745948,0.035417026079343016,0.16234273575930308,0.0,0.07986943795530976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029950441405019325,0.1154320831901322,0.043550194081823534,0.027536673500132308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511000959811965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031269813709953444,0.13601633992125273,0.035817865126617374,0.0,0.045170906794570316,0.18092408145032213,0.07478494005969329,0.0,0.0,0.0680562545950104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04231672168737211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840053287864028,0.02294677221616115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687055386112089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028322803746289905,0.0,0.03964681938316962,0.0,0.042535759766338985,0.4254569952823013,0.0
mentalhealth,jrt_2,2019/03/01,Disassosiation? So I am a young guy but had problems with drugs and alcohol for a span of about 2 or 3 years. This all started from from major depression. Not too long after I started using drugs I started feeling like I'm being pulled out of my body even when I'm sober. I feel like my life is happening and I'm just watching it through a screen. My thoughts don't even feel like mine. How can I stop this? Can I stop this? (Btw I'm sober and I've been sober for a while),0.4953545454545463,2.6412453900000017,2.115454545454547,96.08772727272728,85.1,5.236363636363637,21.090909090909093,6.574015621080383,0.16320000000000026,369,12,86,4,11,120,64,100,0.147,0.738,0.115,-0.6416,0,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,4,0,8,5,1,2,1,19,21,9,0,1,4,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,5,1,2,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,5,10,3,11,17,2,14,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,1,14,52,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792386894703525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953231576817918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145426860693692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4078466663135077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23228674376455435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667361866366543,0.3768691878511542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17411330855426438,0.15549835991836747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242038905720087,0.25772564010369203,0.0,0.0,0.15561649803359773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16825905870601948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733900843914403,0.0,0.0,0.2940270884701731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396005761368459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518728465627832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323783732572433
mentalhealth,dogmessworshipper,2019/03/01,Treatment Centers for people who haven’t relapsed yet Hello. I have 14 years sober in AA but just got dumped by a girl and I need to either drink or die. I don’t know how I can get through it. I need to go away some place. Are there drug/alcohol rehab centers for people who are already sober and have not relapsed but feel like they are definitely going to? ,2.0436007827788667,4.156550424657535,3.0250880626223093,91.94863013698631,79.0,5.267318982387477,22.757338551859107,6.18269132825596,0.35495851272015644,283,9,59,2,7,90,53,73,0.118,0.7929999999999999,0.09,-0.4767,0,0,3,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,8,2,0,1,0,14,16,6,1,2,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,2,1,0,2,3,1,1,0,1,1,6,1,9,15,2,9,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,3,39,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269170095897635,0.0,0.0,0.2779423964843873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23663810278395644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613990267394788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24673457121472375,0.2920867021795891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735193483518795,0.17993441706501115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159053765991802,0.0,0.2862845666493105,0.0,0.2014416998862728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384199639834531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304989187144727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735135862184043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492268590355315,0.0,0.2631482589095209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219461478199246
mentalhealth,darkdecent08,2019/03/01,"Can I even say I have depression (or other mental ill nesses) if I haven't been property diagnosed? I have a lot of shit wrong with me, but can I even say I have so in so mental illness without being diagnosed by a professional? Depression and suicide have been thrown around a lot in the media and in life as jokes, so I feel like I'm not valid or taken seriously if I say I have depression or another mental illness.",5.473571428571423,5.537463023809526,7.2572380952380975,72.95442857142861,67.57142857142857,11.005714285714284,32.27619047619048,10.793553405168565,3.5619361904761906,330,13,63,9,5,116,48,84,0.355,0.583,0.062,-0.9836,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,1,0,4,0,11,7,1,0,0,15,14,12,1,2,8,0,1,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,4,10,2,9,10,2,4,0,3,0,0,3,4,1,7,1,51,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700233935684204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443436163823102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189663031791695,0.3291479562005463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21419076796295472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198549162886422,0.1158365725901165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452795917002673,0.07921596081767375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757001235087805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4902127133335157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3868331443124565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664397310907711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773605458269315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630219920000513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728033647144106,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throw817373away,2019/03/01,"How do I move on? How do you let go of someone that meant everything to you? It's been more than 2 months since my 4+ year relationship ended and I'm still having a really hard time. I'm seeing a therapist and I'm going to the gym consistently. I have a full time job and I try to keep myself busy but no matter what I do I still spend afternoons crying my eyes out. It feels like it just happened yesterday, it hasn't gotten any easier. I find myself constantly wishing to die in some freak accident because I can't do it myself and I couldn't do that to my parents or my pets. 

I feel hopeless. I don't want to tell my family about it because I don't live at home and I don't want to worry them. I have about 2 people I can genuinely call friends but they are busy and have relationships of their own so they can't devote much time to me. When I do talk to them I try not to tell them how sad I still am about it because I don't want to scare them away. 

Everyone says it gets easier but it doesn't feel the slightest bit better. ",1.2839189189189175,2.960699869369371,3.515576576576578,89.62795945945946,79.58558558558559,7.142702702702702,20.55945945945946,8.07648339933343,0.8049740540540546,809,21,184,15,20,278,121,222,0.189,0.718,0.093,-0.9674,2,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,2,7,1,12,8,0,1,5,0,24,1,1,3,0,29,42,15,1,5,6,1,4,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,12,7,0,1,5,1,1,3,11,4,0,0,3,7,36,4,22,37,6,22,0,2,2,0,18,6,0,2,14,125,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700048258153292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019955212916934,0.0,0.0,0.2339647603290625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314849528957248,0.13967235953280485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063638270645747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825275484410296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053106745916974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277678265436266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331282175541592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224779025746547,0.11498011924189372,0.0,0.12060614172408772,0.0,0.19406399920237924,0.09139709999950116,0.0,0.0,0.11693066942555455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884259936956914,0.0,0.06684098420785305,0.0,0.14541731144690986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131328822522146,0.0,0.11460502026932848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832967206334084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269561780215243,0.11371489249905467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082264971006108,0.0,0.0625027910488025,0.0,0.11296933258638694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211684327616903,0.13597512018965294,0.09404726482812267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205715992095205,0.0,0.0,0.08869432173793057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195871534162183,0.0,0.0,0.2747095563965677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017393925001302,0.12808568849353136,0.0,0.10194797747341236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058295135014302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839927852124503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065082098584966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282965617671666,0.223642417544461,0.0,0.0,0.1485429001259981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22380054213282466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737195243030511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22637890195702084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711943591705873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992464391115968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238622531705156
mentalhealth,Jacobisbatman123,2019/03/01,"I’m am constantly scared of basically everything Hello. I’m 19 years old

All my life the biggest emotion in my body has been fear. Scared of getting into trouble, scared of death, scared of pain etc and this has sort of just continued into my adult life 

I am so scared that it hurts. My whole body feels cold and I’m shaking. The feeling of being scared is literally causing me physical pain. I became so scared of dying last year that the only way I was to make myself a functioning human again was by convincing myself of the possibility that science could lead to major life extension and I should worry about something that might be able to be changed

I have social anxiety so bad I can not talk to new people and very select number of people am I able to initiate conversations with. I’m constantly scared of saying something that will upset my friends or make them hate me, afraid I’m annoying or I complain to much and I cannot fathom how people want to be around me

I’m scared of failing or getting things wrong so much that it severely hinders my ability to do university work. Scared people will be disappointed in me, that I will lose my chance to be successful, that I will ruin my life because I fail

I don’t know what to do. There’s no happiness, no sadness, not even anger inside of me, it’s just fear. I’m a scared little boy trapped in reality. I just want to escape. I just can’t take it. I can’t handle reality 

I don’t know what to do

",2.954440318302389,5.025396613793107,4.547586206896554,82.32488063660479,75.9655172413793,7.633952254641909,25.636604774535808,8.502166056373571,1.8771989389920425,1158,42,224,23,26,388,145,290,0.318,0.602,0.081,-0.9977,0,1,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,6,14,36,3,16,6,0,32,8,2,5,1,34,51,13,2,4,9,0,2,0,1,6,6,1,0,3,16,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,9,32,0,0,3,4,33,4,33,35,6,20,0,7,0,0,11,8,0,5,9,149,49,5,0.13981298733870792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053478276314568335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223160040305236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836900221771926,0.042614349692222525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530071035150222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181322562835762,0.07395180103190534,0.0,0.0,0.1510881698394273,0.0,0.055814646851817966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255190361680793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786353962212116,0.0,0.0,0.07796421938838642,0.0461725797647643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628274489132823,0.0,0.0,0.15732848108028571,0.07069364730868075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540095835983876,0.0,0.07304651531622869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441676241699507,0.0,0.06901818971240037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483634731353538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683756141585349,0.056983122635943885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19750809543717848,0.0,0.07006467175153164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820748502744541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332625471422673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415974255159445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277863278245616,0.0,0.0,0.0675161272007964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335510556800921,0.0,0.0,0.05316703854279397,0.14877087607693498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19385744264762267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788090679685119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05559244960707373,0.7698745499439031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897443975405055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126086676357132,0.0,0.1076348682978828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525609832688731,0.056188191600510334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046442768132190136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057680178477496034,0.08246532236196359,0.05548852079529075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804810367702028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05089275997361094,0.07099343766318343,0.0,0.0,0.07643177672221227,0.0,0.09003497989727725
mentalhealth,linszay,2019/03/01,"I no longer know what to do. Hello all.
I (20f) have struggled with mental health for most of my short life. It has gotten extremely bad the past two years which caused my-impulsive-self to make some drastic changes in my life. At this point, I feel extremely lost and so god damn broken. I have terrible jealousy issues, my relationship with my mother is almost non-existence aside from when she tries to give me money (trying to buying my love, seriously woman?), i do not know how to have a relationship with women because of this, my relationship with my father is great--except when my mother is around because she is extrenely jealous of our relationship. She was close to her father and guess what! Her mother was extremely jealous of their relationship. I feel like I am going psychotic and the only person even remotely aware is my boyfriend. I have thought through most of our relationship that he was mentally absuing me and then BAM guess fucking what! After a long conversation, it turns out that i am fucking delusional. I feel like i may actually be a little insane and the only thing making me think that i am not is the fact that i can recognize that in the first place. I have no idea what to do or how to fix the bloody mess of a person that i am. Any advice is BEYOND appreciated.. ",5.577106842737098,6.865574653061228,6.357935174069631,75.14828331332535,67.77551020408163,9.519807923169267,29.10564225690276,9.773937934552695,2.787789915966387,1030,36,185,23,17,339,135,245,0.16,0.794,0.045,-0.9786,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,2,0,1,2,8,14,5,1,10,0,26,6,0,5,2,37,45,12,0,0,3,5,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,4,16,12,0,0,8,0,2,1,4,11,0,2,6,3,35,3,28,37,4,20,0,1,0,3,28,11,3,8,10,138,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.09765271782749008,0.0,0.0,0.09778607733829688,0.0,0.0,0.10020445252502032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805021838021429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908245158099183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355327165321857,0.12200202850404825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279822716240528,0.10585952622276973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609450142089475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179338244570634,0.14297834746963886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511847375574025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502399404219216,0.0,0.09599511538326083,0.05687140752898735,0.0,0.0,0.11032620993473287,0.22047413942667413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636845946558636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296549955613505,0.0,0.10444583292196324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999039555623456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136311162402135,0.09777712615002764,0.1002952308540946,0.0,0.08855774275971219,0.0,0.0,0.10923692079191988,0.0,0.09031600276228507,0.0,0.13359340773771322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20169163645476085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522136697760665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955269966563656,0.0,0.17475244003548246,0.10455060185845952,0.0,0.0945973650909608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.644618676214779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439358700455126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046136414453715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648126701912899,0.06412004914776408,0.0,0.07944345276273533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358802987632954,0.10884612351901704,0.09775268116431493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444102903788876
mentalhealth,aleka05,2019/03/01,"A quick question I know that this post is a bit different than other posts on here, but I hope that you can still give me your insights. The way I'm writing it sounds a bit like a Quora question, but I know that I won't get an answer in a decent amount of time on there, plus I feel a bit safer in this community. (I've been a lurker without posting or even making an account.)

When I dream, look back at my memories, or even just think of doing something, I always see myself in 3rd person. It's not like a movie or anything, it's more like being a ghost floating a couple feet behind someone. I always thought this was normal, but I recently found out it wasn't. I  tried looking for answers, but sadly, I didn't find much. The only thing I found was that I could be a symptom for DID, but I don't believe I have it because I don't recall experiencing any form of trauma or abuse throughout my life.  I'll just list the things I do have, in case it helps you give me your insight:

\--Dysthymia

\-OCD (Currently the symptoms are currently mild enough, but expected to get worse throughout life:/)

\-OLP (A form of synesthesia )

\-Social Anxiety

\-Tinnitus

I know some of the information might be irrelevant, but I don't want to leave anything out. 

It's fine if you don't have anything to say, thanks for reading the post.",4.954088459811405,5.596835041984737,5.643488998652897,82.05160080826224,68.80916030534351,8.302110462505613,30.29726088908846,8.313332769828598,2.107877593174674,1039,39,205,14,17,338,149,262,0.094,0.787,0.119,0.659,3,0,1,0,1,0,45.0,0,5,0,0,10,8,0,0,20,0,24,5,1,1,0,44,44,14,1,6,16,0,1,3,0,2,4,2,0,1,17,3,0,0,16,2,1,0,9,2,0,0,9,7,29,6,24,29,10,22,0,1,3,0,15,9,0,10,11,143,46,1,0.0,0.12155334119661285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072755459727518,0.0,0.0,0.06976527287529011,0.0,0.07848169344368436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532705008148059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888600495798358,0.0,0.0625384092257269,0.0,0.0,0.11558471833825636,0.0,0.0,0.3360078008812144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191041869273151,0.11351478660575735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718556738756896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060037371913362,0.0,0.1355205328341946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187299908340929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376614724313888,0.0,0.0,0.22497106899823746,0.0,0.0,0.10719893417013414,0.19682891778508527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876446144942805,0.0,0.0,0.10189582851868564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16914368849122355,0.0,0.0,0.10862886120938116,0.0,0.0,0.14492585463645485,0.15036207191955955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17230089458107276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848016631693363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883264349362133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541605401739883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051721759638656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802493849427629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957834342705759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930145720641517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298503858832259,0.0,0.10261857854107492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129605416089764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158433458442048,0.0,0.0,0.08175159788166804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457841735535343,0.08692486548487817,0.07897942229772821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192915818696726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21326227831102645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445183987051692,0.0,0.0,0.13631355916509708,0.06573605246315284,0.0,0.08144564840601466,0.059821529828496825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965242983227145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06051072131865956,0.08143181453874172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889388567113534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045488060920646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dyadiccounterpoint,2019/03/01,"Questions about trauma I lost my father and my grandmother at 18, and my mother and great grandmother at 20. All of these individuals were very important in my childhood in one capacity or another.  They all died in separate incidences, and the deaths of my parents were sudden and unexpected.

For reasons I do not wish to dive deeply into, I've been significantly emotionally detached from family since I could remember. I didn't display much reaction during these events. I also didn't witness their deaths personally. 

For about 6 months after my father died I went into something like a dissociated state. I thought I might have been schizoid at the time, although later emotional outbursts would demonstrate otherwise. I've had all sorts of mental health issues from that time forward in varying severity, usually in connection with current stressors, that I did not experience before all of this.

I'm 27 now and I've only recently started really thinking about how these events might have been traumatic, but from my understanding if I didn't actually witness the events and also considering my general detachment from them, can it actually be traumatic? As a tangential question, if you feel hopeless for very extended periods of time, can that be considered traumatic, or is that a separate sort of thing?",9.582705922396189,10.36152246460177,9.620973451327435,57.04890742001362,58.86725663716814,13.679509870660315,43.04833219877467,12.896187039172386,6.414539550714773,1071,58,152,38,13,353,137,226,0.132,0.8370000000000001,0.031,-0.971,2,0,1,0,0,1,22.0,0,1,3,1,7,5,0,0,6,0,22,1,0,2,4,38,31,17,4,5,7,4,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,10,10,0,0,8,0,0,2,5,3,0,1,13,1,22,2,30,12,5,30,0,2,0,0,11,11,0,10,19,115,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.25422012470780153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20832970676548984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658369440917276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108373867315144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399799553370093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703681909278812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930386214470154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741435577108473,0.1227927944210578,0.0,0.0658608271462148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360656555250206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13845494335389516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595234859483354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363599947966075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218868785339914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126637464056268,0.27635988077240425,0.0,0.0,0.1039682752809067,0.0,0.09575239113710897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826413948817999,0.09906477508660427,0.0,0.0,0.144632730844825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137336166549242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918307559160887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344466989899381,0.1339238042949007,0.1286110699509996,0.0,0.14755349064355025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471510418156622,0.0,0.10774825816740533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002766404867892,0.0,0.0,0.0921951390109431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653561502605656,0.08346212605885191,0.0,0.1034078974854478,0.227858163511325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560001867354488,0.0,0.0,0.14345744845717534,0.21494798523446434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074766324089417,0.0,0.0,0.14978678856366529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925293943196256,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,totoro1997,2019/03/01,"Lost with my thoughts/ depression Lately I've been going through a lot of heart ache. I've been confused and just lost in my marriage. I am a very emotional person. 
I had sort of a random thought. 
Why is it I want to be depressed? I want to just be able to just disappear and isolate. I know this is just so unhealthy but I just want to be able to give up. Why am I feeling this way? Why do I want to be depressed. There has to be something mentally wrong with me to want something bad like that. ",0.9028861429832276,3.0745591650485484,2.3822065313327454,94.66100617828778,83.5631067961165,5.2988526037069725,24.897616946160635,6.574015621080383,0.7582699029126214,386,16,85,4,11,125,58,103,0.268,0.616,0.115,-0.9607,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,0,1,3,0,14,1,1,0,0,23,27,4,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,7,1,11,1,15,15,1,6,0,5,0,0,3,2,0,4,2,58,15,0,0.2885370391885754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045818776114098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727747935834821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228266653170398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294649829086704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839550988478605,0.08199112435477242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095889034507014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792862054212852,0.0,0.1627411739967586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048231138936553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31497226272156603,0.122651936267981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538873543309944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596970661352186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221299094116786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290661792156949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903663768693135,0.4254665536258237,0.11451363570710504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3905396982032432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773497852472973,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AppleWithWings,2019/03/01,"Something really small has ruined my entire week and probably will continue to do so. At school for English we have a presentation everyone needs to do to pass our tests, and it's horrible. Everyone does presentations, everyone gets nervous about them, I've been through much much worse, why am I so affected by it? We had so long to prepare for it too, but because of my lack of motivation I didn't, so it's my fault. I eventually made a few notes for the thing I wanted to present because we aren't allowed a full script. I was nervous, but nothing too bad, but the second my teacher called my name I panicked really badly, and made up an excuse. I did this a few times, strangly the time I was most confident was the time I started crying when the teacher called for me. Luckily no one saw as my head was down and it was only a few tears. Everyone was really annoyed with me that time too, which made it worse.
It's been really stressing me out and I've been self loathing much worse than normal. And it's not optional so it's not like I can just hand in a note like last time to not do it, I'll have to do it eventually. I'm having trouble sleeping, which hasn't happened in almost a year. I've been crying randomly (nothing bad just a few tears), which also hasn't happened in almost a year, which was the time I was in a traumatic situation. Like, brain, making a presentation that lasts for 4 minutes is very different from trauma, what are you doing??? Other people are nervous and you've cried in front of them before anyway and they already hate you so it's not like anything will change, so can you stop being so weak? I'm crying right now writing this just thinking of it, why am I such a failure?

I don't have anyone to talk to this about, so I'm just venting here. But if anyone has any advice to give, please help. Why am I so upset about this? How do I stop it? ",3.8817111306557237,4.928177825857524,5.2337848138375875,82.540441708199,71.53298153034302,8.358878139353072,28.021205902472392,8.735056554316923,2.0420453630411406,1472,53,298,26,27,493,178,379,0.27,0.65,0.08,-0.998,2,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,4,3,3,1,27,19,2,5,19,0,42,5,4,8,0,48,59,27,0,5,13,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,27,13,0,2,2,0,0,2,10,15,0,2,19,2,34,4,37,37,10,36,0,1,1,0,19,12,0,6,26,213,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036951037964722,0.0,0.0,0.164714303027727,0.0,0.0907601347080883,0.06577182729064937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05592987142254405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150161602847944,0.0,0.06768117317726717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20601508055657294,0.1002723860399092,0.0,0.06998500185725481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181336060633098,0.16796403585534425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700500647052144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36137199705752426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592921313524259,0.0,0.0,0.07197373426780525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31435702368122226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04296996455161098,0.07889753462039001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545913701336827,0.0,0.0,0.08120056521571854,0.08440777850260027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055127534499606216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408238567474084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072430695466916,0.0,0.0,0.07278482397143245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334685059220276,0.05489961895436223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18138007767540948,0.0609841172654417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058328770486307,0.15783386438232294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055731790040958434,0.06255153313221573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701878729308545,0.0,0.0,0.09028104048234008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867473569289676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21075471192785328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023734714406697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323700222722462,0.0,0.0,0.08580016401828823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244757159761748,0.08230506021473667,0.0,0.0,0.06331672982968144,0.0,0.0,0.05821390385665004,0.0,0.0,0.13752211460582994,0.09421212952299073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610594881469035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546403642029869,0.05269970015973308,0.0,0.0,0.2877486463147843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786128575138063,0.048510623173334086,0.0,0.0659725101817011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22264175611823306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514460722842266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592702137377613
mentalhealth,throwawayLA271,2019/03/01,"How can I stop caring about what's missing? Hi, Thanks for reading.

​

I'ma  26 year old male working on a PhD. Have never had any 'luck' dating. Had a few hookups here and there. On and off all the apps blah blah blah...

​

In short it seems I can't attract a partner (for now) for romance or sex that I'm interested in. Most of my friends (in my department) are having a much better time on these apps and meeting girls all the time (we're all straight). 

​

How can I stop caring?

​

I'm on a ton of anti-depressants for what that's worth. ",3.2254975845410634,4.687265791304352,3.7585507246376832,90.87425120772949,73.69565217391305,6.154589371980678,27.560386473429947,6.42735559955562,1.0106618357487918,446,17,94,3,9,140,73,115,0.096,0.7020000000000001,0.202,0.9394,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,0,0,7,0,8,1,0,2,4,15,15,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,2,1,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,5,9,15,13,7,20,0,1,0,1,6,10,0,4,9,58,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476330846230802,0.5341895139470966,0.07473960185075244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720260436520196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22411224309426694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466156393191004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491282236109256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079328895467736,0.0,0.0847660025698786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532747770641046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099353788289503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005396397819333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18377206723150652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118634407998946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817372131481602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001261256222607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5341895139470966,0.0707756267031309
mentalhealth,pumpkinmania,2019/03/01,"Is it normal to feel like this? I constantly feel like everyone else is enjoying their lives so much more than I'm enjoying mine. This is something I spend a lot of my day thinking about. I can get kind of obsessive about trying to gauge how happy other people are because I'm trying to figure out what the normal level of happiness to feel is. I feel like I've spent so much time doing this and I still don't understand if I'm normal or not as happy as other people.

​

Does anyone else feel like this? Is this a symptom of anything?",4.0496559633027545,5.331282165137615,5.312740825688074,81.24048738532112,71.38532110091744,8.018807339449541,25.551605504587158,8.472884824447931,1.7626412844036699,432,13,81,7,8,144,65,109,0.019,0.74,0.241,0.978,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,6,11,0,1,3,0,9,1,0,1,0,18,21,8,0,4,3,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,8,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,8,10,14,20,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,8,55,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659889560279356,0.15319120780267428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815243259593049,0.12917560223784827,0.10374646557056567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685228518956916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623898054449154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130597239353687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032640531573898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106338593255912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046714249762612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31872880750830235,0.3602632798947401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658673858422343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4026177770723392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312845262722778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24636952929513176,0.0,0.11132383381232457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718185602110616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18535476559044886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705712042640955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480482016125573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705633964279772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006812150849516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103701897644304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807818093501559,0.0,0.0,0.07351356274928528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118914497153845,0.0,0.0,0.13124533694049256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319120780267428,0.0
mentalhealth,Frednotbob,2019/03/01,"Reaching out for support and advice Long story short: I'm taking Buproprion to ward off depression.  I couldn't get the usual 24-hour Buproprion XL on my last refill (medication shortage), so the doctor authorized a 12-hour SR pill.  


Six weeks later, I went to the walk-in clinic with unexpected and hard-to-control crying.  The doctor said that my depression was okay, but my anxiety was 'a bit on the high side', and thankfully reset my prescription for XL.  


Since I've started taking XL again (last week), my emotions have been wobbly.  I'm constantly worried about my age, I'm crying at random moments, and it's hard to get through the day without feeling 'blah'.  


To be clear, I'm not planning to hurt myself or anyone else.  I just can't shake this roller coaster -- 'okay' one moment, 'slightly blue' the next morning, terrified and anxious the next (I started an application at a local work-placement center, but had to walk for half an hour when my password wouldn't reset).  


So -- is this (relatively) normal for switching from SR to XL?  How long will it last?  Will I ever really enjoy my life again?  I'm asking for myself, and for the sake of my girlfriend, who is having a hard time with her employment and needs as much support as possible.  I'm worried that I won't be able to help her as much as she needs if this is going to be 'the new normal'.",7.120050027793219,6.7703266887159534,7.4556670372429155,74.30522373540856,64.21400778210115,9.988771539744304,34.31045025013897,9.424239791934726,3.138633351862146,1057,41,189,17,14,346,150,257,0.116,0.778,0.106,-0.1937,1,0,0,0,0,2,45.0,0,0,0,1,9,10,0,1,16,2,18,6,0,1,2,28,40,19,0,7,7,0,3,1,1,4,6,1,0,0,8,10,0,0,1,1,0,4,6,4,0,3,6,5,20,6,32,26,3,40,0,3,1,0,8,11,0,3,25,119,28,3,0.10302748666059604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067726756941343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881574529672412,0.11639173431831605,0.0,0.07203921418147137,0.10556383530886816,0.0,0.0,0.0963167923392753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247933154827257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133611189492036,0.11555408689486615,0.0,0.0,0.226341712597188,0.06644420564477081,0.0,0.17747484658623264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109059964910612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606624490659077,0.11589205537257832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931942601194366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052093792885201766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765521895493067,0.0,0.058552894938578535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768771741614917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905715258238565,0.10885419625845463,0.0,0.0,0.3043839631617223,0.0,0.11029305533533068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519434575715607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727713607131402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235216721738912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378935376922276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147411438017644,0.1527871518045774,0.0,0.0995045886217088,0.2191418017697931,0.0,0.20189012424144456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981409133353206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614801104549385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600204612434851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800273287127652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522540162231562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458467706758671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23382874186298025,0.0,0.0,0.15492769607970186,0.0,0.0,0.09485386753770024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007615599689395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347022094296776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528487055387053,0.0,0.0,0.09550751232259233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931482059637943,0.0,0.07500523734035787,0.20925882755409786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HadesSpirit3,2019/03/01,"How do you take care of yourself on bad mental health days? Right now I’m thinking about how I don’t deserve to eat dinner; because I’m  such a ugly piece of poop

I don’t know how people can take care of themselves when filled with such self-disgust. ",9.594807692307693,5.562961173076925,8.619230769230771,79.57576923076925,62.269230769230774,10.4,37.53846153846154,3.1291,2.3275846153846156,199,6,42,0,2,62,38,52,0.128,0.752,0.12,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,1,0,4,4,1,3,0,6,12,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,7,12,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,23,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22230131709660025,0.16229892072611704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5429038250061856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170434861512124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724324844155111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830032644906648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631988261099468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683097594152368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845789853867964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273695897016077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777489310516582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003623623710256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17059740565284748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Darkshado9510,2019/03/01,"Footsteps, voices and faces Hello I have been having worrisome things happen to me lately and wonder if someone is experiencing the same things, or knows whats wrong with me

Over the pass few months I hear footsteps sounds like someone is walking around but when I go take a look around nothing is around but the sounds return.

The more recent thing is I hear voices its always sounds like a nice ladies voice, it usually says simple short things like from the ones i remember:
-""Are you awake?""
-""What are you doing?!""
It said other things but I couldnt understand it or it sounded like just random sounds

The latest thing thats been happening is I see things pretty often in the corners of my eyes, its usually looks like someone standing.

I'vw noticed that this happens more often during the night and not the day. Is it just so called tiredness or should I be more worried ?


",4.3459100204499,6.871624858895711,3.9952392638036818,85.77343149284258,73.41717791411044,6.064458077709613,23.750102249488755,7.03164865440522,0.9763238445807776,704,21,123,7,15,212,102,163,0.042,0.82,0.138,0.9548,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,0,9,7,0,0,11,0,16,2,2,0,0,27,30,12,0,3,10,0,0,5,0,1,0,12,0,0,20,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,3,17,13,6,9,24,5,21,0,0,4,0,8,7,0,8,15,92,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931816263627276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990748208655692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435059905197285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222194074675428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364443171182313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29708751704537745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25243354358254994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061544777271137024,0.0,0.12632549701747992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735544053952727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880806835040731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938644778740604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050916169844085,0.0,0.10745393709371394,0.12749721830338726,0.0,0.0,0.075884858862417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393039259231885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057302487702857,0.0,0.126858720620533,0.0,0.10652467732536372,0.08905605190948543,0.0,0.0,0.08923863363866306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846570498716044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841998092814883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5207913519162449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165817549284674,0.0,0.0,0.2466743185185204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144443535750413,0.0,0.11372758916816647,0.0,0.0,0.12243950974308986,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lola1642,2019/03/01,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s affecting my relationships and career. I (23F) am going through what feels like war with myself on a daily basis. 

For all of my adulthood and late adolescence this has been a constant struggle. Never have I felt good enough in any area of my life. But lately my symptoms have been reaching a physical level and it’s affecting multiple areas of my life. 

For about two weeks I’ve had random crying fits, and not just tearing up, but can’t-breathe sobbing. And most of the times my reasoning is very vague and I can’t even explain what is causing me to cry. At first it was happening on my drives to/from work, then crept into happening during work while I’m at my desk, but today I started crying while I was in a seminar around coworkers. Luckily I was in the back and could escape quickly. It feels like I have no control. I’m fairly young in a serious career field (commercial real estate) that I was blessed with an opportunity to join with no experience and my fits have now earned me an office reputation for being overly sensitive, although I’m not crying about work. Which no one understands. 

My boyfriend (26M) knows about my struggles and is such a support. I adore him. But lately I’ve been very annoyed with him for minor things, and manically spiral with stress and anxiety and snap at him. This really upsets him but I can’t stop. It’s a cycle of snapping at him while he’s doing nothing wrong, us fighting, and me hating myself for hurting him. This along with us reaching just beyond the “honeymoon phase” (sex slowed down a lot, less romance, etc) I’ve been feeling really sad and distanced from him. Which turns into me convincing myself it’s just me being too fat for him to desire me, and that clearly he’s bored. Or that he’s realizing how irresponsible and lazy I am and that he’s checking out. 

I’m wondering if anyone could advise me if this sounds like a hormone imbalance or if I should get evaluated? I want to excel in my career and I don’t want to lose my boyfriend. And most importantly I want to gain back some control. 

TD;LR 
After years of anxiety I’m starting to show physical symptoms such as crying fits and migraines. It’s affecting my career and relationship and I don’t know if it’s hormones or a chemical imbalance. ",3.9421427269966607,5.905978289887647,5.196270877619195,79.22936532037656,72.84269662921349,8.136653507440025,28.206802307925905,8.841846274778883,2.4036717279076827,1829,72,332,37,37,607,216,445,0.185,0.6679999999999999,0.14800000000000002,-0.9565,1,0,0,0,2,0,47.0,2,0,0,11,17,27,4,4,15,0,30,7,1,8,3,88,57,42,1,11,17,0,4,3,0,1,6,1,0,0,22,35,1,3,12,1,1,2,11,16,0,3,10,5,52,11,53,42,8,51,2,4,0,1,19,25,1,13,27,241,74,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05834403284800885,0.0,0.13126698460510078,0.0,0.0,0.0599903634947661,0.0,0.0,0.07637638210333368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194322833780342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813583975248904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271469571898937,0.1924543945930983,0.1370018051056899,0.0,0.4712128584068298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864991520578637,0.09568490882171607,0.05666726505457701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392467877595057,0.0,0.0,0.13014268436348805,0.12258496151642127,0.0823773474421021,0.0,0.0,0.07297779708846909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482472352451066,0.0,0.04875968583149296,0.0719613808501824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517377467907104,0.0,0.0,0.08470551288113927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184609459852518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145325475908255,0.0,0.2903439333846042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120011110040277,0.12574636780753753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959834669381882,0.0,0.07294045454449177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617094974906679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232330893879566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813740146588929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765431442094727,0.10992587255112986,0.08821229121227088,0.0,0.18422499400555492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145330688009395,0.0,0.0,0.07172906505785435,0.09827870938667374,0.17938463323471718,0.0,0.0,0.09735996831217453,0.0,0.1783492109786719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569988652361044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05002817530106947,0.0,0.08132431238487403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933211083980648,0.08380995353998696,0.08931637208632941,0.2064033790239323,0.0,0.0,0.14158091139078727,0.15181361872905466,0.0,0.06882015286656429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930418004331856,0.18738092175982846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876083065826487,0.0,0.055249631881258254
mentalhealth,generalpositivename,2019/03/01,"Anxiety but also bipolar and now maybe ADHD? Does this sound right? I fit into all 3 of these. Anxiety for sure and (only because my psych appt got pushed back another week) strong possibility of bipolar. Now I'm worried it's just ADHD, or also ADHD. I'm kind of freaking out right now. ",2.1607738095238105,4.653531625000003,4.485714285714288,79.5259523809524,80.96428571428572,6.590476190476192,25.404761904761905,7.793537801064563,1.8164261904761907,225,9,40,4,6,78,42,56,0.158,0.6729999999999999,0.168,0.3961,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,9,3,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,3,6,2,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,5,23,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6497650974164857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288242337555894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18897546566816087,0.2757342739731601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857738250348065,0.0,0.10985990558209507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157710970354387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441376972196642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876704853354196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810543336904787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706476519239186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031699844903132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307812295301835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985439206695466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456091105064225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302126900810425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,titan1846,2019/03/01,"Very concerned about one of my co workers behaviors. What makes it worse is hes a cop. Alright. So, recently, maybe past month or two months I've noticed a change in one of my co workers. Hes expressed to me he takes welbutrin, and a few other medications. No problem there, most cops take or have taken anti depressants. 

What concerns me is hes become, different. Hes much much more concerned about the cleanliness of our office and his squad car (how ever hes always been a neat person. It's just gotten worse). And more alarming, he seems to have gotten more ""dangerous"" and stupid. We've made contact with people, and hes constantly playing with his holster, were walking and he'll sometimes completely take off all retention on his holster and play with his gun or taser (not taking it all the way out. Just grabbing it, pulling it slightly, and dropping it back into the holster). 

Hes also, a week ago, flung me out of a moving vehicle. By that I mean I went to get in his squad car, no emergency, just getting in for lunch, and I was half way in and he hit the gas and threw me out. I wasn't severely injured. Just a sore back and neck for a day or two. What pissed me off/got to me, was he sat in his squad laughing. It knocked the wind out of me so I was laying on the ground wheezing and he took a minute to come make sure I was ok. 

I don't know much about welbutrin, I take Vybrid. So kinda different I guess. But he said he takes other mental health meds and wouldn't tell me what or for what. I didn't pry or push the issue because at that point it wasn't my business. Now that hes acting dangerous and stupid, it's become my business. I was hoping someone on here may be able to give me advice on how to start a conversation with him. I've reported it to our Sergeant, and other officers have as well, but sarge doesn't seem to care or think it's a big deal. I appreciate any and all help. 
",3.063341924398628,4.4155886159793845,4.2040000000000015,87.95766666666668,73.92268041237114,7.132096219931272,26.335395189003435,7.675431598112923,1.335339931271478,1485,52,313,19,30,485,195,388,0.081,0.8490000000000001,0.07,-0.4737,2,0,0,1,0,0,53.0,2,0,0,2,21,18,5,1,18,2,28,8,2,5,5,63,60,33,0,3,14,0,1,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,22,27,1,0,5,2,0,11,9,8,1,5,19,2,42,10,42,36,11,46,0,1,0,0,34,19,1,14,13,206,64,3,0.0989557205566891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669838485752552,0.0877182756269826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913485397746715,0.08233908668066009,0.0,0.0,0.06729328331479655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218168187199138,0.0,0.06032248877756612,0.2185776375974937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089195216060166,0.0,0.10468203128867823,0.08524159112127873,0.10375319029231864,0.10693597925800616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381825335655611,0.10201900276283801,0.08523041711423858,0.0,0.0,0.20677533266048734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951111456544396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340055948824473,0.09492734410093473,0.0,0.0,0.07914392950629373,0.0,0.1090108825597748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518530357365202,0.0,0.0,0.06632793359208264,0.0,0.0,0.09828535852444804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328406275785186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543834761022917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363429543996513,0.13210742375070628,0.0,0.09941432185204446,0.1077917895497767,0.10991749756815253,0.09968747779105666,0.09972409168727513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797102411141226,0.10517427047730064,0.21823152180091213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126617437278903,0.0,0.0,0.13410991448677936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446443234453276,0.06860343694681052,0.08640431829002665,0.0,0.0,0.09354514124160587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946872603107758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770683594265113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412955088140536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801711429557268,0.0,0.11179179760304414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384486090423195,0.0,0.09786973792178834,0.0,0.07004136833232308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326459553183053,0.0,0.4464143200035412,0.0,0.0864916614164847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340683007585639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994344659163707,0.0,0.0,0.19333072031062912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816488329406981,0.0,0.15709288993648846,0.07937631011352635,0.0,0.08897307688474825,0.0917329443509916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20168866654197184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NewMindRedPill,2019/03/01,"Bf's mood is increasing my depression I have dealt with depression my entire life (as early as I can remember). I grew up in a very painful household and eventually my dad committed suicide.

Fast forward several crazy years. I'm now engaged to a man who is amazing.

The thing is, when I met him he seemed perfectly happy with no mental issues. Turns out his mom was abusive and he's has undiagnosed depression.

He's slipping more and more and its really hard for me. I work really hard to make sure my mood doesn't hurt others. If I cant then I isolate myself until I can regroup. I feel like he doesn't try and leaves it up to me to emotionally support him (but doesn't really support me when I'm low).

He is very unpredictable when suddenly he'll be low and anything can set him off into a really low mood. I try to not let it effect me and I do whatever he needs until my depression goes from function to nonfunctional.

The weird thing is that when it hits and I'm feeling visibly low then he's able to gather himself and his mood goes up. Maybe in response to him realizing how hes effecting me or he's trying to help.

It's just every time, if he cant get out then me breaking down after trying to stay strong is what seems to make him better. 


I'm very cautious and scared of mental health issues because of how crazy and extreme my parents were. 

I'm feeling stressed and anxious around him. I feel like I have to be so careful and I just feel so weighed down and my depression is getting worse.
Idk what to do ",3.1511074918566777,4.811244540716615,4.727538762214987,83.0405068403909,74.27687296416939,8.039035830618891,27.915179153094464,8.726425361277474,2.1731019934853424,1202,48,239,24,25,404,156,307,0.183,0.677,0.139,-0.9319,1,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,0,6,12,30,0,2,5,0,26,4,0,6,3,46,50,33,1,3,7,3,7,2,1,1,3,0,0,1,12,20,1,0,11,0,0,3,7,14,0,0,3,7,38,12,36,42,3,38,0,10,0,0,29,17,0,5,19,152,50,1,0.09736891383693637,0.11536624101415273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099991576762991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012631971866703,0.086678976723386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05935518612941236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611489168791643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927409695468968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193185140584311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952692256904127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203750939443759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461632422223487,0.1391207430006725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174247745216736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365101934701457,0.17444684318827547,0.0,0.0,0.10349860223298236,0.0,0.0,0.0652643304962825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423543609421616,0.0,0.0,0.2032556976155172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103099620792025,0.0,0.0995663113440128,0.06877454338390995,0.09513906601383026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998901213632416,0.0,0.09782016122073348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19624992746937595,0.0,0.0,0.11403729508123625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219781585306094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360738934136343,0.0,0.10811665598184228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249508077909896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029999844187764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974832688951292,0.0,0.0,0.177282004472986,0.0,0.1099991576762991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378230680395176,0.0,0.0,0.11153576182499077,0.0,0.0,0.10650578812339982,0.22098617909664572,0.09176904897754974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293751596239608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05677659667838076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644284041276557,0.10590941806712488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241018653639176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088572893145655,0.0,0.09922724165886723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270238814574852
mentalhealth,chrohm00,2019/03/01,"Who should I see for work related stress/anxiety? Is there a particular type of therapist I should seek out for work related stress and anxiety? I thought occupational therapist at first, but I'm not sure",5.868018018018018,8.180099405405407,7.079459459459461,66.27342342342342,68.45945945945945,13.581981981981983,36.65765765765766,12.45797560212912,5.96280900900901,166,9,29,8,3,56,27,37,0.17800000000000002,0.8220000000000001,0.0,-0.6191,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,6,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,3,1,5,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,18,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608336832386456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20060525803417875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793382813186985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5403075083748964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22227626990522797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5476564921509948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18723049929592825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34338844287798703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zowee_,2019/03/01,"Mental Health and Identity Hello, I'm new here and not 100% sure what I'm doing so please don't get mad at me. I am currently doing my art exam on changed identity and am investigating how mental health may affect sense of identity. This anonymous, short survey will help influence my art and any response will help so much. Thank you in advance   


[https://goo.gl/forms/lvmi7SichJ5WHK7J3](https://goo.gl/forms/lvmi7SichJ5WHK7J3)",9.109303482587062,12.704023238805974,6.376940298507464,69.23217661691542,62.88059701492536,8.645771144278607,27.58457711442786,9.2995712137729,2.7516189054726365,355,11,49,7,6,100,50,67,0.027000000000000003,0.7829999999999999,0.19,0.8965,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,1,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,1,10,12,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,4,9,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,29,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16666978463747031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592730024581901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804954768428056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5210389813092307,0.0,0.0,0.32855767656710805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4939866823538045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801695451511616,0.0,0.0,0.2367097050976116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26903551163847683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309946741471157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22564618700728364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mermixie,2019/03/01,"Depression and relationships I have been in a loving, infinitely supportive relationship with my significant other since September. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for my entire life. This is my first real, long-term, serious relationship. 

I was hospitalized in November and my SO was with me for the entire process. He is so understanding of my mental health issues and has been my #1 supporter since Day 1. Recently, having graduated college and moving home, my depression and anxiety have skyrocketed. I graduated college a semester early, and my SO is a senior and finishes in May. I have begun the typical post-grad process of job-hunting (with no success). For the past month or so I have not done much else aside from waiting for the weekend to roll around so that I can drive 2 1/2 hours to visit my boyfriend. 

Lately I have been feeling like I have no identity outside of being my partner’s girlfriend. This, in addition to doing absolutely nothing while I am home (a place that I am already unhappy at) has begun to take a massive toll on my relationship. 

Coupled with my anxiety/depression escalating (I stopped taking my medication in December and am beginning to feel that this was a poor decision), I am experiencing doubts about my relationship. I am feeling numb and disconnected from everyone, but what made me take notice of this is my lack of connection with my boyfriend. He is my best friend and the past several months have been absolute bliss with him. 

I am terrified that I am “falling out of love” with him. He is everything that I want in a partner and feeling this way has me shocked, confused and sad. I want to make this work because he loves me like no other. We have regularly talked about our future together, including moving in together and eventually marrying and starting a family. These conversations used to fill me with absolute love and excitement, but now I am finding that they are anxiety-provoking. 

Have any of you experienced depression take a real toll on your otherwise wonderful relationship? How do I know if these thoughts of doubt and lack of connection are caused by my depression, and aren’t genuine negative feelings toward my partner who I have been otherwise infinitely happy with?

Any advice or related experiences would help me immensely right now. Thank you for your time and energy in advance. ",9.14492302891616,9.396249629186606,9.508352402745995,59.262162471395904,59.88516746411483,14.063823590597048,42.81506136883712,13.166244860791926,6.346405533596838,1907,103,294,71,23,638,208,418,0.145,0.698,0.157,0.9203,2,0,0,2,0,0,49.0,2,4,1,5,11,27,0,4,14,0,47,8,0,5,0,68,75,31,0,6,6,0,5,2,5,2,4,0,2,3,18,33,0,2,11,1,1,7,6,13,0,3,11,7,55,14,50,61,4,49,0,6,0,4,33,16,0,8,27,229,73,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380835648363153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833507177708702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027278098009716,0.0,0.11556254486888855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06723891091345223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04604320705288351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926548700380244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759149771433392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357399697181096,0.0,0.04871146918165748,0.0,0.3903302223021623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729479018938486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309674704762351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217343728173553,0.06788270288791183,0.07388414905567947,0.07120423025383872,0.0,0.19095458829395012,0.05395960819131188,0.0,0.0,0.06903428126040291,0.06424692374735289,0.0,0.0,0.058355330033686724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804045215970124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028628807442707,0.0,0.0,0.05062706863822121,0.0,0.15152819561879327,0.0,0.07438316051320917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883510085862645,0.07495320555625158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04151005207471795,0.0,0.08520264743925593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053350022929567316,0.07380160017933228,0.0,0.0,0.06684286377887769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726799523819201,0.07146958521705624,0.050417759514250364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608988411334149,0.07611783092453515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057679845303088,0.16055573337097692,0.05552422956108829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247436292998592,0.08599293726971206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442064313231712,0.0,0.0,0.07891417983616407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233815002807106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719424137891372,0.0,0.0,0.07457809133801327,0.4865543883662213,0.0,0.06450335621040061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853289210733836,0.0,0.12496061874272794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346147497799822,0.0,0.0,0.06314758676059068,0.0,0.07896176174587996,0.0,0.0,0.17142415117337945,0.0,0.0,0.2271606867668385,0.060709234294887116,0.0,0.06953911481801782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996345125407845,0.04404293486538891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863079423820107,0.0,0.06523483128578543,0.0,0.0,0.08910068884349663,0.059953266223421675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819105220523545,0.05498771896982243,0.0,0.0,0.05365530061797335,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dremerfox,2019/03/01,"Should i be worried about my inability (or over-ability?)to focus? First of all,im on mobile so sorry about the formatting.So,i noticed that this was i thing recently in a conversation with a friend when they told me that never happened to them and the more i think about it the more it sounds weird.

The root of the problem is that i can only ever focus on one thing at a time,and i mean it.For instance if im watching a movie or playing a videogame my vision kind of tunnels into the screen and i always feel wird when i realise that there is a frame around the screen.Or when i am talking to someone and another person says something my attention immediately turns to them and i unwillingly ignore the first person i was talking with which makes feel like a douche every single time.And i often forget important things like replying to a text from my gf because i saw an easy question in my calculus textbook and decided to do it real quick,and apperantly i’ve been studying for two hours now and she is really mad.Is this normal?Am i just overthinking it or should i seek help?",4.479339622641508,6.040300660377362,5.552028301886796,78.85700471698117,70.69811320754717,8.318867924528304,29.287735849056602,8.841846274778883,2.41294716981132,868,34,160,16,16,287,128,212,0.091,0.8079999999999999,0.102,0.4862,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,3,2,13,8,0,0,17,0,12,0,0,2,2,33,21,14,0,4,5,0,2,2,2,2,0,2,0,2,14,10,0,1,7,1,0,0,1,3,0,4,5,7,24,5,22,13,3,17,0,0,3,0,15,7,0,6,12,116,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208045739087802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15223790067817644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924438615851996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850271296004897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313270828120361,0.12232363537809553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681860971824215,0.10371935451210723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24698657695357176,0.0,0.0,0.11216866404914906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838557811306894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731365841981644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429768238428892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.313646892130078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511866135940017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185896801588435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691133142079927,0.0,0.0,0.15814774892911512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197471713537893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224932432109494,0.0,0.16529274850536718,0.0,0.0,0.09838031808241844,0.11041884212884127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25353783423388376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389213142574212,0.0,0.0,0.16263911232659906,0.0,0.0,0.16525097910490755,0.09300847676699754,0.0,0.14335151335604338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545600591949876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230137848778903,0.11176960251958,0.0,0.16252140715896873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23338652021583145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893610490428416,0.09302793362194788,0.0,0.0,0.1693157132965409,0.0,0.0,0.1387293677381995,0.0,0.0,0.157918312420485,0.1418235022522348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744122299016504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,buckleshot,2019/03/01,"Bringing up a medication change with your psychiatrist. I have severe insomnia (can’t sleep or stay asleep) and have to take medications to help me with that. OTC medications don’t cut it. The current one I take it a low doses of an SSRI with a sedating effect. It usually works, but recently, I’ve been having some trouble staying asleep. Not only that, but I want to see how I do off SSRIs completely. But I still need something to help me sleep. I literally have stayed up for more than 36 hours at a time without sleeping medications. And I become out of it after being up for 24 hours. But I still need to take a pill to help me sleep, even after 36 hours.

So I have a few questions:
1) Do you think it’s a bad idea to ask for a Xanax refill and to go off SSRIs in the same appointment? I have to get my psychiatrist to approve a new refill.
2) What’s a good way to bring up getting off an SSRI completely so that he is more inclined to help me out with that? 

I’m thinking of saying I eventually want to completely be off medications (which is true) and I want to start with the SSRIs. The Xanax (which he gives me only 10 tablets) could maybe help me get through tough withdrawals. I want to start with one at a time instead of going all at once, especially because I have so much trouble sleeping on my own.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks in advance.",3.1693492116739392,4.8176526457564615,4.6281130493123115,83.8213443475344,74.20295202952029,7.58409929553841,26.70932572962093,8.296473431620573,1.7300243542435425,1061,39,216,18,22,354,136,271,0.068,0.82,0.111,0.8907,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,0,4,8,9,1,0,17,0,18,17,7,2,2,37,44,13,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,13,12,0,0,6,0,0,5,4,6,0,2,2,2,25,3,49,39,8,41,0,1,1,0,14,17,0,3,15,150,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878234484035884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036306472352835,0.051371038250070805,0.09307109511873173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914792380757558,0.0,0.26507074965327515,0.0,0.0,0.06728382291522407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055660437818039726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208492067036842,0.0808407664141391,0.0957867106745699,0.0706828176770874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824265777702973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24897094024074426,0.0,0.0,0.09513210673286487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466190692658424,0.0,0.0,0.4244726418318776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061949145230311385,0.12497228975654065,0.0,0.081389803621989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974624698417934,0.11420890759693282,0.12818433182019592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440320845372037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320780041107981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701596705818871,0.0,0.0,0.0671533624500306,0.0,0.0,0.09520264874823796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216610936916175,0.0,0.0,0.06487620926174803,0.0,0.0,0.11929540324354773,0.26946616800504875,0.13459843226352475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900847227378485,0.0,0.0,0.0775857451260824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799536820019057,0.0,0.06690204582060293,0.09827861421627784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281299613832067,0.0,0.1988217236661958,0.06689068224206578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812345828173082,0.0,0.06135055299771928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BOY-OF-HOUSE-MEME,2019/03/01,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me Over the past 3 years (the first year being my last year of school) I have had changing emotions. It started in secondary school for months I felt depressed to the point of not going to school because I felt like I wanted to stay in my bed forever and die. Later in the year I feel like people would joke about me or mock the way I look or how I talk, thinking I’m like a alien and or a weirdo which ruined my confidence. I now feel multiple ways through out the day. When I’m at the gym I feel like I work hard and have a good physique then I look in the mirror and my day is ruined as I just see my ugly self. If I go out later on in the day I enjoy hanging with my friends yet can’t get out of my head how sad I feel I feel like I’m the ugly one in the group. I feel angry at the fact that I’m nothing and sometimes this leads my to be highly agitated. I also feel like when I’m out in public places people talk about me and point and mock me behind my back which makes me feel rotten, it makes me have a hatred for going outside.",4.276410256410259,3.4113399743589774,5.2975213675213695,89.14192307692308,70.19658119658119,7.883760683760682,25.69230769230769,6.297961479604792,0.6961384615384612,830,18,198,4,13,275,118,234,0.197,0.687,0.117,-0.9698,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,11,18,2,0,16,0,10,1,1,5,1,39,38,18,1,3,6,0,11,6,1,1,0,0,1,1,7,13,0,0,12,2,0,5,3,8,0,2,3,15,34,10,31,32,0,47,0,4,3,0,6,19,0,4,26,122,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082134665094254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771246073191618,0.0,0.06160805929745531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691297593492913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19553497294592412,0.0,0.08704681616972104,0.0,0.10488912801556463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368410378815365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088105013266434,0.2888023622941448,0.19407578422755908,0.0,0.0,0.08596552111063521,0.0,0.0,0.07808228103895286,0.0,0.052802096941256725,0.0,0.17231207170916865,0.08476821514806003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905340557433744,0.0,0.10372146567021852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678032851724104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055542476585577545,0.08238116089215171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962504341763033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973766780733052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349228481947915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066882200950448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697423647765308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848400763556431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647762330964693,0.1401309759288373,0.0,0.10559102595030848,0.0,0.1910774812310128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30684839793776897,0.08053542378694853,0.0,0.10543244857993564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995550149705257,0.0,0.07153406401059259,0.10772144657526764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246383976019235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475813293416051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961053620145774,0.16044079537406467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357625299718279,0.0,0.0,0.0717934121812628,0.11049830553606488,0.0,0.2603292280848301
mentalhealth,anniemagus,2019/03/01,"If you have experienced inpatient care in bc please help! I've come to a point where I can't be alone in this anymore. Suicidal thoughts are getting louder and louder and my anxiety is getting all too much. I have ptsd and have flashbacks when I close my eyes, I don't sleep much if at all. I'm in desperate need of help. My doctor told me I couldn't afford a psych if I wanted to (even though I live in bc canada) she's incredibly unhelpful and doesn't take me seriously and there's no other doctors in my town. I need inpatient care I think it's the only option I have left and if I don't find somewhere I'm terrified of what will happen. I need suggestions of places that will.focus on these issues. I've been doing research for so long but everything around me is addiction based and the reviews of people who have gone have said for many places, if you have other issues it's a waste of money. I'm at my wits end I don't know what to do. I live on Vancouver Island bc, at this point I'll go to the mainland if I have to. Please help me. ",1.8013302752293576,3.6825527568807352,3.654577981651376,88.27516972477066,78.77064220183486,7.112293577981652,22.367889908256878,8.07648339933343,1.1112873394495408,823,25,177,15,20,277,116,218,0.067,0.8390000000000001,0.094,0.5301,1,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,0,8,3,0,0,6,0,22,5,2,0,2,29,43,17,1,11,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,11,10,0,0,4,0,1,3,7,1,0,0,5,3,27,2,23,35,4,25,0,0,1,0,10,19,0,7,3,115,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754428534448065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067441299358265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965199586534636,0.0,0.12512706638628346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231834516336484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572781246165733,0.0,0.0,0.1086845691522823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582813622385535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174946483291727,0.0,0.0,0.08333431435980591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339375891142266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531739769984092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183758198618933,0.0,0.07170550728455903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157200792315597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25370794199372354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26337809309925564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693399148400639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370844349113388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22282142944617284,0.1116567734906862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279169134536643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854994227613086,0.28066110748757744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095958222955657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747062189772528,0.0,0.2636422859534698,0.2769942726411385,0.23854349123230706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748636630978684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001687846825715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626145072688671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800986495855488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486438758900327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084485422499524,0.1239617106098738,0.10016515026263972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056115915783852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441853078717278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kissarai,2019/03/01,"What to do when I'm having suicidal thoughts but I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want their platitudes? My life has seriously gone downhill in the last few years. I was permanently injured at work, then fired, then my ex husband stole my two sons, then my brother assaulted me, then I lost my house, I was homeless for a few months, then things started to look up with a new apartment and a pet bird, then about 70% of everything I owned was stolen (including the trailer it was all packed into), then I lost my daughter, then my bird died.
People keep wanting to tell me that I should get onto some antidepressants but honestly I've never been diagnosed with depression. I have a few other diagnoses including PTSD (from back when I got blown up and shot in the Army), OCD, and just general anxiety, but I don't think I'm depressed. I think my life just sucks a lot right now. My kids are gone and I can't work because of the crippling pain that any kind of repetitive movement of my arms cause, and I'm facing homelessness again. I want to reach out about suicidal thoughts but I don't want the pity party panic at the disco that admitting it to my friends will cause. I'm not in a place where I think I'll do it, I just keep having the thought a la OCD-style intrusive thoughts. ",6.497661830357143,6.031641121093752,6.5679910714285725,80.54218750000003,65.5234375,10.439285714285717,33.910714285714285,9.957137785484203,3.051004241071428,1021,40,209,20,14,326,139,256,0.239,0.6940000000000001,0.067,-0.9936,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,4,11,13,2,1,14,0,19,8,2,2,2,40,47,19,3,6,8,5,1,0,1,2,6,0,1,1,9,9,0,2,8,0,0,3,7,10,0,1,14,2,31,3,26,31,7,37,0,5,1,0,11,14,1,2,20,135,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808771773657393,0.0,0.0878439382882334,0.0,0.0,0.08029116848499848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882964809660594,0.0,0.13999749290861227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23592220973127856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978042510737089,0.2330982150878908,0.11917446453435075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032009803884057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871666881487521,0.0,0.05999345926806994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183931179193727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249735070967308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20413073961030828,0.0,0.11957682514239867,0.0,0.09360103304113188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221436200519085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642751377076184,0.0,0.2506990290479965,0.0976235845898002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916554827891501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856327192580223,0.1109026490756885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218624605921152,0.1347271938718315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796080315326725,0.0,0.11997195720221288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422905936986526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806341403711706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127661975761018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251208770283734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20073136903316216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628734392524661,0.22073352966174925,0.0,0.3646458784713622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217133400076966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33864585714546497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671938878561756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394616807913285
mentalhealth,Nema_h,2019/03/01,Where does one go to get an iq test &/or personality test? Started psych in college & was wondering where  i could get one done & how much it’d cost?,5.16,5.809743225806455,5.6808064516129075,81.94120967741938,68.35483870967742,8.780645161290323,31.62903225806452,8.841846274778883,2.31434193548387,124,5,26,2,2,40,26,31,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,3,9,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,14,2,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7409025032461002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198756780723974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994674737592417,0.2332566648319847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381732826239634,0.0,0.12954072575427686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755846769299598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089093397929494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902406932682984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133358173057108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471858082771904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,qwqwqwqwqwqw55,2019/03/01,"Getting worse in hospital, not sure what to do I’ve been staying involuntarily in a psychiatric ward since Christmas and since arrival my mental state has declined sharply, my life has been ruined and since I have no family willing to take me and no eligibility for other housing I’m basically staying indefinitely

Every day my mental state gets worse and the staff don’t care or have time to deal with it, no clue what to do

If I start telling people I’m self harming/suicidal then they will move me to another hospital which is even worse",7.387647058823532,7.822830901960787,7.930196078431373,68.4858823529412,63.50980392156863,10.72156862745098,36.607843137254896,10.504223727775694,3.9390666666666663,440,20,77,10,6,146,70,102,0.192,0.779,0.029,-0.9409,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,12,1,0,0,1,10,19,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,8,2,9,15,0,11,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,3,4,48,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665465268414989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193720962675345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243185556924464,0.16374618869521054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490535371942264,0.0,0.13382066182004412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14973026993049268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659636642843171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183267860363614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218593762708977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201254568787313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688105693357211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011234208539444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569375568796774,0.0,0.0,0.39415608682929343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242030214779834,0.3385821213791593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373363915537318,0.0,0.14969487688523628,0.0,0.11941997977487137,0.0,0.13882393992607173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261472952402663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4855823359601188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,solipsistrealist,2019/03/01,"Nearly Committed Suicide Last Night Last night, my partner and I go into it to the point where we were tussling. He left. I was home alone. I have been off of my medicine for a month now because I can’t afford to see a psychiatrist. Due to this, I experienced mania for the past 2 weeks including hypersexuality like ive never felt before. Then, a few days ago, the depression hit me, and hard. When my partner left last night, I went into his bag to get his gun. I sat it at the table along with the ammunition contemplating how to not go painfully. I began texting my sister of my thoughts and how I was feeling. She then called the police about my situation escalating it to the point of where four officers came into my house and my mom also came over. Once they got to my place, I was no longer in the mindset to committing suicide and due to the limited info I gave them they could not involuntarily take me to the hospital. I am now on my way to the emergency room with my partner whose with me for support so that I can receive psychiatric services. I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening. This life with Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder when it’s not treated is rough. ",4.120761766132946,5.829457759825328,5.448522561863173,78.65906234837459,71.83842794759825,8.407666181465308,29.31610868510432,8.998388855275968,2.4680944201843773,933,38,178,19,18,312,139,229,0.119,0.8140000000000001,0.067,-0.9205,1,1,0,1,1,2,22.0,1,0,3,1,12,6,0,0,14,0,12,3,0,2,3,32,32,13,2,2,4,2,4,1,3,0,3,1,2,3,8,16,0,1,4,0,0,6,6,2,0,1,14,7,36,4,34,16,1,45,0,1,1,0,18,17,0,0,22,128,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256834218342317,0.0,0.0,0.13152260494774953,0.0,0.1015532881545904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741149161372711,0.0,0.1080585313329094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967026183907407,0.2904838314834433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139061367587192,0.0,0.0,0.08189758553780087,0.0,0.10937568812855518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554072648725105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420959988013733,0.0,0.12192963156510067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634666196544407,0.0,0.1443418782777035,0.0,0.1015649347268371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375745928137695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738061046567356,0.0,0.0,0.14652858905121074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105396575507118,0.0,0.0,0.27594846709913945,0.0,0.08969629000562221,0.06204055189726659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487283199244959,0.10136163855328477,0.0,0.0,0.09416094836688828,0.09794196795286643,0.0,0.0,0.3575125343750832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352394477985795,0.0,0.0,0.13512555640264015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122564503594968,0.0,0.0,0.13267677821779345,0.0,0.2400918484458349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119402159692492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274128094628286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778113409046297,0.1441059397285977,0.0,0.0,0.09548014095989396,0.0,0.0,0.11691467532611564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081531024877917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007981863674134,0.10186314738007016,0.0,0.0,0.11772034271520647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,elle-jay-mac,2019/03/01,"Can I be burned out even though I'm working less than I used to? Hi all,
About 4 months ago I moved to a new city and started working as a freelance musician/tutor. Prior to that I was a student (did a 4 year physics degree then 1 year music degree). I'm feeling very stressed by my work situation because I feel like I'm spending my life waiting for the phone to ring with a gig, so this is causing a lot of financial stress too. Also I don't really have any friends yet because I don't have like an *office* where I work. I think I'm exhibiting lots of the signs of burn out  such as sleeping poorly, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of replying to messages/emails even if I really want to answer, not wanting to show up to lessons I'm teaching, chronic boredom. But how can I be burned out? I'm working so many fewer hours than I ever did as a student and I'm doing what I always wanted to do. I just don't know how to cope anymore.",5.162559440559441,4.662532174358977,6.209790209790209,82.11566433566433,68.28205128205127,8.526806526806528,34.13752913752913,7.686295010490155,2.363102564102564,734,32,152,7,11,246,118,195,0.045,0.858,0.097,0.7117,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,6,15,6,0,3,11,0,15,3,1,4,2,31,34,14,0,4,4,0,3,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,3,6,0,1,8,1,2,1,4,3,0,0,4,4,16,3,28,28,4,18,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,3,13,97,19,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222824780938047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031687500454494,0.11478369235286863,0.0,0.0,0.093809293262835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368072357171622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818350246359598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171047894214328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222655604750626,0.12478176101576267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20925178887224746,0.09854999768755067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657819492473722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358508807287775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581255077816207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743667184718692,0.1347887386658563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23455672009900266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985750514634973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101086869143699,0.1466167720893536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323092840109682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674589691435585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505920422949826,0.1380475108259837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764022408715496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160376758447561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883914355854423,0.13553309809848374,0.10951521296217402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191426826074886,0.0,0.11382145344389825,0.24409571271404046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5021385216611168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776678322293765
mentalhealth,jim0240,2019/03/01,"Clozapine alternatives I suffer from schizophrenia. 

I've been on Clozapine for about 3 years now. My mental health has been a lot better on it but due to uncertain developments I might need to switch to something that doesn't require observation and blood tests. 

Any recommendations?

Might have to be in Mexico for a while. ",6.084736842105265,8.836814666666667,6.245473684210527,70.5903157894737,69.0,10.174035087719297,28.94385964912281,10.355215969177356,3.5554659649122806,264,10,43,8,5,84,46,57,0.094,0.87,0.036000000000000004,-0.4767,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,2,0,8,2,1,0,0,8,9,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,11,4,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,4,31,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132241586272412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27730872280447033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332880601103229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26656825541446205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159837727847889,0.665252148632391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23249270493240384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24138543682616734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20191535787447948
mentalhealth,crazies1012,2019/03/01,"33, Veteran, PTSD, Father of Autistic son, Anxiety sufferer On February 10th I had my first panic attack. I’m 33 and have never had one in my life. It happened out of the blue and scared the shit out of me. Before that had happened I never took people seriously who have these episodes. After suffering through that I am beyond sorry for never taking this seriously. It felt as if it almost killed me. Heart racing, feeling like the room was closing in on me. Couldn’t get air although I was breathing heavily. When it all ended I felt a huge feeling on euphoria. Which makes me sense it was a near fatal incident for me. So as of now I’m scheduled to see a mental health specialist at the VA on March 15th. Not sure how I feel about medication but after this panic attack it’s honestly all I think about. It has taken over my life. I’ve become extremely depressed and a constant state of fear it will happen again. Could anyone who has experience these symptoms tell me what tools and coping mechanisms they use to handle this! I have a amazing wife and 2 great kids, a good job and live in a great place. I really have no reason to be feeling so awful about myself. ",3.3962334801762104,5.500327599118943,4.847072687224671,80.52708480176211,74.77092511013215,7.535594713656387,25.44691629955947,8.395991825355821,1.8945261674008798,923,32,167,17,20,308,142,227,0.175,0.672,0.152,-0.7153,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,1,10,21,4,4,11,1,17,8,3,4,6,32,36,15,2,3,3,3,6,1,0,1,5,0,1,1,19,9,0,0,8,0,0,1,6,14,0,2,10,8,20,7,31,22,2,33,0,3,2,0,8,18,1,2,14,122,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782133931224953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001098766142082,0.0,0.0,0.08227189623614949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26771466472309274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994826111363098,0.10012156198971983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715065189468905,0.0,0.09394340721742647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134197276283263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421346880555407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509585976270313,0.0,0.1324022850513033,0.2379734521813322,0.08405764398203129,0.22594764179274066,0.0,0.0,0.10008310334924253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061473456531804076,0.0,0.0,0.09868917128386412,0.0,0.2594451940647833,0.0,0.0,0.3121439369215092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250690367445183,0.0,0.139429850197483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676122342515155,0.0,0.13017539596832478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621607843953282,0.05748363304625865,0.0,0.10389756282733288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854019370553722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185319279331442,0.11857546314743675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272244200291151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973070977071696,0.0,0.0,0.2761016416514573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815719067663569,0.0,0.12293158264389176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375403976891533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537718937962247,0.12097597091576427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780003088327072,0.0,0.0937612549544243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077819075326104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171279985967002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110894894336313,0.1222957065489076,0.08846706256308162,0.0,0.10284163673319882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753929578675206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307266366537618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162205411141836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RobbieForkhill,2019/03/01,"Really struggling with anxiety today. Keep thinking I will be let go in work. I just don’t know I would provide if I got let go. My boss doesn’t acknowledge my existent. My friend told me in a meeting today he said he wanted to get another  colleague in on the role I’m doing in the company at the moment. Yes it could be to help but I just keep feeling like I will be let go.

I have struggled with anxiety and worrying for years. My demons keep coming back.",1.2581914893617032,3.507639712765957,3.5164255319148943,86.59400000000002,82.72340425531915,7.164255319148936,24.293617021276606,8.238735603445708,1.7357225531914886,359,14,73,8,10,123,63,94,0.127,0.7609999999999999,0.113,-0.3343,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,2,4,1,14,0,0,1,0,19,30,3,0,4,4,0,1,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,3,4,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,3,2,12,2,11,17,0,15,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,6,48,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626981600910704,0.2373930334864557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930800161722505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365608483558392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388215591682045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845325494465127,0.11084590676684472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987576798795195,0.0,0.08106438282777302,0.0,0.264541988974771,0.0,0.1240951467138215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400007557976453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137384131013165,0.0,0.0,0.08527154878233355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4759829983500185,0.0,0.07580304571262055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993990850862594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759212108371772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244125883789825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941987882085164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29414593884859,0.14826145645108832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151703449542553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129578915517735,0.15757190289156334,0.0,0.11022078642158326,0.0,0.0,0.09991756686389393
mentalhealth,Beard_Of_Thunder,2019/03/01,"Unexpected Haloucinations I have clinical depression and a generalised anxiety disorder for which I am medicated and the meds are doing their job. Until recently, about a month - 6 weeks ago I was able to manage them without professional help.

Whilst in work I had a visual haloucination. What I saw is not of concern, however it felt like I was caught between a dream state and an awake state. I was also able to manipulate it on this occasion and it passed after a few minutes.

As the days passed I experienced the haloucinations became more frequent and came with greater intensity. Througout this I experienced a disconnect from reality and feelings of paranoia grew as well.

I am now taking meds to stop the haloucinations and I am awaiting a mental health assessment. I was just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar as this is new to me.",7.1433052378085495,9.145661006622516,7.9715833835039165,62.36009632751356,64.76158940397352,12.11342564720048,37.56833232992173,11.741389052700956,5.398875496688741,696,36,107,25,11,233,101,151,0.101,0.836,0.063,-0.6659999999999999,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,5,3,0,0,12,0,14,3,0,1,0,18,21,13,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,9,0,1,3,1,0,5,2,1,1,0,9,6,15,2,19,12,3,21,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,2,13,84,23,4,0.3663834537857271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238841273421353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649835781087506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014116965523432,0.0,0.0,0.1280919148632977,0.0,0.1507511822861078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20952253273254465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814350877245497,0.0,0.15778276593935642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099535900061374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262724141254976,0.0,0.17589278611620088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947242392557656,0.0,0.0,0.12278955302041344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178952199399287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949822438830693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4069694219186981,0.18454639209742185,0.18461417355400467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622188865486266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769277113730318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808797298920992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531564864649675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773738013172412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694535335883047,0.0,0.16471136291864213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17659028751270153,0.19866361337942773,0.1333657589809418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,texasmermaid84,2019/03/01,"Screw Depression I have been flaking on my therapy appointments lately and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for a lot of things really. I’ve had unfortunate things happen in my life because I usually have awful taste in men and because of that I have been on this downward spiral for 19 years. 

I can’t kick my current depression episode I’m in, my anxiety is overwhelming, and to be honest I don’t feel like it will ever get better. I’ve spent the majority of my week not showering, either not eating or overeating, laying in bed, finding excuses for everything, and I hate it. I’m in the middle of a divorce and my ex is still living in my house. No, it’s not our house(long story). I can’t get rid of him and it’s slowly killing any sense that I’ll get better soon. 

Someone very close to me yelled at me yesterday and then I found out something from their son that was told to him about me and my past, it scarred me. I knew that people talked shit and that there were lots of rumors but, why didn’t people ask? If they had known the truth would they have cared? I want to erase myself from my persons life and their kids. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to survive that or if I have the guts to do it. Would they understand? Would they be upset? Would they ever forgive me? 

I am so lost and broken right now and I can’t do it anymore, I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to be happy again. ",1.5758268101761281,3.572592619863016,3.2675538160469664,90.21027397260276,79.99315068493149,6.36320939334638,21.72994129158513,7.447530270364453,0.7518420743639918,1103,33,236,16,28,366,149,292,0.127,0.773,0.1,-0.8006,2,0,1,0,1,0,30.0,1,0,7,4,10,20,6,2,6,1,32,7,2,0,3,46,55,20,1,10,11,2,2,2,0,5,2,1,2,3,18,14,2,0,9,0,1,0,11,11,0,0,12,4,45,9,32,34,4,29,0,4,0,1,22,15,2,7,16,168,63,0,0.1118013702162151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602876557937059,0.0,0.08552774220159733,0.0,0.22175383466027154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451918907656026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630615516200734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977584530285223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398894810615985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19258871268614694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144007129738608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20226148021961465,0.0,0.0,0.10047986255636683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306026407325308,0.15974184244286824,0.0,0.0,0.10218442692502272,0.0,0.0,0.1225844317815712,0.0,0.0,0.1752348045197612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886558245250376,0.11901463753319265,0.0,0.33114212033803264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290037704902113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236916513931516,0.0,0.061443109212406234,0.0,0.12611681532880653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793722828607434,0.10924100436460037,0.0,0.09872265819697286,0.09894069445740344,0.0,0.0,0.12204440251900625,0.1900990538059852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067270584601064,0.1550179860051894,0.0976206440929196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162282059820659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547775929233923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147624998980841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472893817503958,0.08607015691319507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928471867438678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986170641915898,0.0,0.0,0.1278546104282716,0.0,0.148551725062105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683100038405724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163891692821698,0.0,0.0,0.1231334141145501,0.09224783921507032,0.1978300344814294,0.0,0.08968031543275523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088334702941096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176819426543227,0.0,0.0,0.07199641686733453
mentalhealth,cannedpotatoes02,2019/03/01,"Just have a question Hello everyone, I really don’t know where else to post so I post it on here. Maybe you guys can give me an advice or two?
Background: I’m 17 and I live in a country with not much attention to mental health. I just have a question is that are the following behaviors I have symptoms of mood swings or perhaps something more serious?
1) I just have suicidal and thoughts about death so much. One moment I’m walking and normal the next I think about how insignificant I am and how much I want to disappear off this world and I know damn well that no one is gonna miss me.
2) One moment I am happy and bubbly and talkative and then bam the next I am so sad and lonely I can barely think straight and I just so so want to disappear and I keep thinking about how easy it is to end everything
3) I sometimes become super stressed for no reason, the kind that makes me hurt myself a lot and cry and sometimes vomit. The numbness is crushing and my mind goes empty or just repeats “nothing nothing nothing I’m nothing”
4) No motivation. Eat less sleep less for some reasons. Trying to work on that but still.


I’m just really scared and I don’t know who to talk to because I’m scared of opening up to people to because they don’t really give a shit about me
Thank you so much if anyone can help me ",2.1149438202247204,4.155466531835209,3.601417228464424,88.26446292134833,78.43820224719101,6.519191011235956,24.53767790262173,7.554174236665415,1.210958172284644,1032,37,211,15,25,340,142,267,0.17600000000000002,0.742,0.08199999999999999,-0.9678,0,2,1,0,0,2,17.0,0,2,1,3,23,17,2,3,11,0,18,7,2,7,0,53,40,30,2,4,12,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,8,17,1,1,13,0,0,4,7,11,1,4,1,0,27,5,24,38,9,23,0,4,0,0,12,9,2,8,8,145,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649249176775096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904481467545033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203880966648133,0.10905611778090216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846676894774043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104080828669372,0.0824887944282419,0.0,0.08745877960211297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943550992671488,0.08874565783126667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894504439280932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777309553960484,0.0,0.10511591109619492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496133988301166,0.0,0.0,0.0661867061744194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570858735957353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776911179583648,0.0,0.1028277441619027,0.1628030435410216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719366270656287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839494857671087,0.0,0.0,0.06591306833876116,0.0,0.09920264590808617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951175617212968,0.0,0.0997043222498142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903558089670888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21003290031349697,0.0,0.09674915510557748,0.3789940435780087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007365454757476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845736445942675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891408690999902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212340449393067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897757670444549,0.20305265526118968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19772198461918952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013603451348551,0.0,0.0,0.09881633355359988,0.0,0.0,0.07601874147286881,0.1953227015041535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885790138887844,0.0,0.11311208802289302,0.0,0.0,0.10801102609640596,0.0,0.0,0.10263388569573802,0.0,0.07936750754943289,0.0,0.0909111485987681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18981546707719196,0.0,0.07839251681187709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704138752011209,0.0,0.09645953738272252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648474365688816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878363275149266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188755139398997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IWillNeverPostLmao,2019/03/01,"What are some possible reasons I feel incredible amounts of stress over absolutely (or practically) nothing? Ever since I was a kid I would get these random horrible feelings in the pit of my stomach. It makes me feel stressed and miserable and have no idea why. It can make it hard to eat sometimes, or socialize, or get out of bed.

Also, stress gets to me in a horrible way. I remember getting in an argument once and I couldn’t handle that they were upset with me, the stress got so bad I started throwing up compulsively. It happened every day for a week. When minor things happen, like I forget to do something, I accidentally make two plans on the same day, or I see a friend talking to someone who doesn’t like me, I shake and my chest starts to hurt and every now and again I’ll throw up. It’s been really bad recently, i haven’t had a full day without it in the last two weeks.

Is this normal? What could be causing it? Could it be a problem or am I just taking myself too seriously?",3.414846938775512,5.153315637755104,4.900765306122448,81.74512755102042,73.74489795918367,7.961224489795918,28.066326530612244,8.660442795831766,2.1528428571428577,779,31,153,15,16,261,127,196,0.246,0.715,0.039,-0.9905,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,1,8,15,0,7,11,0,18,3,2,5,1,36,35,14,0,6,7,0,4,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,15,8,1,0,6,0,0,3,5,12,0,2,5,5,20,3,20,24,4,27,0,2,1,0,6,10,0,7,15,109,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785223742229313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834512487101699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285293062134992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754230203060554,0.0,0.0,0.212545145304216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241066878951872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937153218197113,0.1851177504184396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664030626580809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487489229713675,0.0,0.2295820373749799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786231269852265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942915556180243,0.0,0.09840988414014866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760370095386292,0.12401466480422865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895477445714775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073407152861824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21999028569445275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763608698952856,0.10541031546621753,0.0,0.0,0.11699363253284847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384674552582313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511787481224584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037691422321571,0.11295082236789585,0.10847008261946084,0.0,0.12444604750581455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754144127284821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087446725988932,0.0,0.0,0.11198491061388766,0.09308109204188472,0.08457293359388196,0.10865092964992099,0.0,0.15551405255301584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5033611934993509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259844821522366,0.0882985276451302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298380547629722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21462775866862044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719901010990826,0.17624058404870968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912844259888776,0.0,0.0,0.10589778682068762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803893592054242,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aeioujul,2019/03/01,"I feel angry all day everyday The past few months I’ve been very tired from school and work, and it’s made it so I get very angry at the smallest things. It’s getting to the point where I’m sick of feeling angry at everyone and I just want to go one day without feeling rage.
Any tips on how to not let small things affect your whole mood?  Or on just how to deal with anger in general?",2.8073577235772333,3.7610395731707342,3.6985365853658543,92.88772357723579,74.0,6.930081300813008,23.422764227642283,7.1686216300943375,0.59189593495935,303,8,70,3,6,97,58,82,0.221,0.701,0.078,-0.9453,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,6,3,2,0,3,0,2,2,0,4,1,19,11,7,0,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,3,4,0,13,8,3,14,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,1,5,42,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321244749267736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271633892944277,0.2171151466645065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20123342680238532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31945087511375525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200553527333633,0.0,0.11968651473053668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153485968873453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927095184938493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680956544361807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270524590722594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010376354172082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19908121536570725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313431459292365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798211435274953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420490305526631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475273793866737,0.12421493018573003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351228242779854,0.0,0.2030069521026784,0.0,0.1533163382138672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StonedZombieUK,2019/03/01,"Unable to go to sleep before 12pm. Unable to wake up early for an alarm. If I set an alarm I wake up gasping for air, and so fatigued I have a throbbing head, body pins and needles, feels like I've had an extreme sugar withdrawal or something. If I miss appointments I become Bedbound. What is wrong with me? It this depression? Apnea? DSPD? Diabetes? Or all of them/something different?",1.5555405405405374,4.2765210405405405,3.082486486486488,86.14291891891894,88.5945945945946,5.662702702702703,24.967567567567574,7.1686216300943375,1.5620097297297302,303,13,54,5,10,99,56,74,0.229,0.726,0.046,-0.9366,1,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,2,4,0,3,9,5,0,1,9,6,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,2,6,1,9,5,1,6,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3193578458710513,0.2460564388339312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211949367990078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490556921693669,0.0,0.0,0.3021138188862943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620951525598366,0.20657812487097132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433801248969948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967646901059573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412704492170345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893718579268857,0.0,0.0,0.44522365212701775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31615437737744223,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,trial-by-error,2019/03/01,"Anxiousness tearing me apart An incident occurred in my life 2 weeks ago that made me so anxious I couldn’t eat and constantly felt as if I was gonna vomit. I was getting over it when the person appeared once more, again I feel so anxious I wanna vomit. My heart feels as though it’s gonna stop, I’m having a hard time breathing. All I can do is try to think of a good future, trying to think that in a month it will be over (hopefully) if not a month than in a year. I’m on generic lexipro but I don’t take it regularly. I know I should because it’s my fault I feel this way if I don’t take it regularly. I apologize for my rant, thank you for reading.",2.622765957446809,3.326652446808513,4.554390070921986,87.52350000000004,74.177304964539,7.625815602836879,26.86595744680851,7.908726449838941,1.4086902127659569,509,18,116,7,10,175,89,141,0.116,0.83,0.054000000000000006,-0.6972,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,7,0,12,6,2,1,1,21,30,11,0,7,5,0,5,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,9,1,1,1,7,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,5,19,3,15,20,2,20,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,5,11,75,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072191147048227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5380254684549183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967722617067116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155188355669815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244043744293984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24080565071744575,0.0,0.15242447819631594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294009585972315,0.0,0.0,0.13315160377171184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220842915156912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188118999540934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767413828262178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724460957335205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212951293921272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021267733916358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534247773455947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906310629873647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861399739299407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879252544950248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272174514525809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23871983335161845,0.0,0.0,0.14615527129318084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344062317189227,0.1559706421495992,0.0,0.0925681483096896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155610688435637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600801595947406,0.12733932586806634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222951541330227
mentalhealth,depressedkitten0,2019/03/01,"Differences between bipolar and depression? I don’t want to self diagnose myself, but I want to have a better feeling of what I have. I know I have some mental health issue. I’ve been suicidal a lot recently, and just am generally very depressed. But sometimes, like right now, I just get very happy. I’m sitting in bed rn, rocking back and forth and shaking my legs because I can’t keep still. I have this huge dumbass smile on my face, and I just want to squeal and yell. I’m not talk to anyone rn but usually when I get like this I speak so quickly I can’t even keep up with myself. I’m just giving some context about myself to get a better answer. I’ve been thinking I might be bipolar but I feel like I’m not impulsive enough? Like I’m just happy. I’m just kind of unclear about what the difference is between being bipolar and being depressed, I’ve read so many articles and I still don’t really understand it.

Also I know I need to go to a psychologist but for reasons I’d rather not get into I can’t at the moment, so the best I can do is put a temporary name on it for myself and my boyfriend, which we can work with until I get officially diagnosed.",3.2888842203548063,4.566812071428573,5.035574229691878,82.5102427637722,73.24369747899159,8.146031746031746,27.92810457516339,8.680891452615391,2.0971841269841267,915,35,184,17,18,312,120,238,0.121,0.682,0.197,0.9563,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,4,20,14,0,1,8,0,21,8,2,1,0,49,46,20,1,5,15,0,2,4,0,1,6,2,1,1,7,13,0,2,8,2,0,3,8,4,0,0,2,4,28,10,24,40,5,22,0,3,0,0,6,8,0,5,14,128,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930961583825452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139930967029475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951510773313033,0.0,0.07096483644064905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216921193505255,0.205917278750102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008013793620008,0.23631532771972655,0.0,0.2432555081790565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028668405569415,0.0,0.07689028683329485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772473720440373,0.08316611754041886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041073047819858,0.11167482616157147,0.0661607054067985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24784953479313646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374253807048255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150587233831996,0.0,0.2069480566828508,0.0,0.1212271686016799,0.12795607624559255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274958162566348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897093968228993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802542856254572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731783617010942,0.12349675728162135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631943605085772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702812903218633,0.0,0.0,0.11644540902302805,0.0,0.07457772898265101,0.11969288383692354,0.11494468766650458,0.0,0.0,0.099416839450095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144509264425593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513632949925386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593659104671972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733791816742665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356908777499888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459333022788994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121190981460159,0.0,0.0,0.12821347036943406,0.19210732821625132,0.20599181340470654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475070988117547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealthreader,2019/03/01,Self-Injury and the Risk of Suicide | Psychology Today How NSSI May Lead to Suicidal Thinking and Behavior,2.7597368421052657,5.203289052631586,4.8940789473684205,68.43480263157898,105.84210526315788,8.215789473684211,31.065789473684212,8.07648339933343,4.322357894736841,88,5,12,3,4,30,18,19,0.442,0.5579999999999999,0.0,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,7,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892365619854645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8162466246876361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390747190584285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35366597971378383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vafurous,2019/03/01,"somebody tell me i can stay home today! i am so torn. last night i had a massive panic attack (i have PTSD/depression/anxiety) and couldnt catch a wink of sleep. i told my boss i wasnt feeling well and that if i felt better i would come in later.

but now im feeling really, really guilty for staying home. i work for a small business and when someone calls out it puts more pressure on the staff cause someone either has to stay much later or come in on their day off. 

my boss texted me back essentially saying “dont worry about coming in until 2, but let me know if thats also impossible”. i wish that hadnt been said because now i cant stop thinking about how they REALLY need the help. 

even though i am constantly coming in on my days off per request, staying later, opening and closing same day and generally being very reliable, i am seriously considering going into work on 2 hours of sleep for a 5 hour shift with nothing but trauma and guilt on the mind. in retail!!

does anyone else get this way??? i cant stand to inconvenience others even if it means i have to suffer. my poor spouse, bless them, is telling me its ok but my brain cant accept it.",4.18588519313305,5.055970150214595,5.4850831545064365,81.67466335836912,70.67381974248926,8.05675965665236,26.150482832618017,8.278499904357787,1.6022105150214596,907,27,181,13,16,304,147,233,0.14800000000000002,0.737,0.115,-0.727,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,3,3,13,12,1,3,7,1,20,3,3,4,0,43,36,20,0,7,9,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,9,15,0,1,7,0,2,7,7,7,1,0,7,5,27,5,26,25,4,48,1,1,0,0,12,17,0,4,18,118,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088019046726624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737045427262405,0.0,0.0,0.0707181884238931,0.10362804870852466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505931533038112,0.0,0.07776904105326521,0.0,0.06165291444372027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944852835588123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290369143105088,0.10327342094053632,0.0,0.0,0.10389680207652606,0.0,0.3484864521306858,0.0,0.10929447563843217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19567733662222594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850672964423002,0.0,0.11853322957144613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448799717483123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360166847283392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022770362733492,0.0,0.0971085427541932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052840540706705685,0.0,0.057479175808331125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779081065538266,0.0,0.20289974305149333,0.0,0.1992015293768377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924662283947999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558291554664164,0.08244114036664632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034206726499909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016916101312126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212076143128457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434822189408884,0.07499270163364083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949113593468769,0.0,0.09704484077213564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866389868059644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822515591180642,0.10167183620248824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19437518248434732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962055986866935,0.08042916445037958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20242250278894436,0.0,0.17138815525120338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311995024802268,0.0,0.08455607272113944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679850780257894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480528156305307,0.09936777839630087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586719785718292,0.09664189439995544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344961578565649,0.0,0.08027880396881945,0.0,0.0,0.090935397529718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630395085369764,0.0,0.0,0.14725964371717168,0.10271076221802973,0.0,0.07184568300493382,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peachychamomile,2019/03/01,"People that make fun of mental illnesses/believe that they don't exist are usually in denial and have some sort of mental health problems themselves I've realised over the years that the people who have been rude about my mental health and have denied the fact that mental illness exist usually have some sort of mental health problem themselves, and they're just in denial.

I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a long time, I remember having panic attacks in primary school (9/10 years old) and eventually tried to ask my mum to take me to the doctors when I was 11/12. She would tell me I was just being overdramatic and that I was fine, and even denied that things like ADHD (I had a close friend at the time who had Autism and ADHD) existed, saying it was ""something made up to excuse kids' bad behaviour""!! 

It took years for her to eventually believe I was struggling, but every time I got really bad she would get angry. For example when she discovered I had been self harming she took me to my grandparents and didn't want to speak to me because she was so annoyed at me... for being suicidal? Obviously this pretty much ruined my self image and childhood but that's another story...

Anyway a lot of things like this happened but of course I never believed her, I knew that I was suffering from mental health problems and I knew that there was clearly something wrong with her for her to be so weirdly in denial and angry about her daughter suffering from a mental illness. 

It got better after my parents divorced and I moved in with my dad (she cheated on him and went to live with her boyfriend), he wasn't amazingly understanding but at least I didn't have to be around her. But right after they split up my dad was crying and telling me about all of the abuse she put him through, and he told me about everything she struggled with. 

Turns out she used to be a drug addict when I was a baby, and she would often leave for days at a time and come back all fucked up and having to go to the hospital for injuries she had done to herself. Around the same time I also found some anti-anxiety medication in her room that my dad told me she had been prescribed because her job at the time was making her so anxious she would break out in hives. 

I've still never brought any of this up with her and in some ways it just makes me more angry that she had experienced similar things with me and never told me or even offered to help, she just got angry and told me I was making it up and being overdramatic. But in other ways I guess it's because she was struggling so much that she was in denial about her own illness and she didn't want me to be the same so she just pretended I didn't have one.. 

TDLR; Mum was horrible about my mental health problems throughout my whole childhood and would tell me I was making it up and would get angry when I had panic attacks or self harmed. After my parents broke up my dad told me she used to be a drug addict, had lots of problems, was on anti-anxiety medication etc. This makes me realise she was probably so horrible to me because she was in denial about herself.

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mentalhealth,amkimmy,2019/03/01,"Concerned about my mental health So, I’m a 19yo girl who has a family history of diagnosed schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety disorders. I’m most worried about schizophrenia because my great grandmother, grandmother, father, and uncle all had it and I know genetics and environmental factors during childhood affect your likelihood of developing it. I was raised in a very chaotic, abusive environment with my dad and his mom. I know that doesn’t mean for sure I’m going to get it, but I’m just so concerned that I may. Schizophrenia usually first appears in young adulthood or mid 40s, so I’m trying to just hope I’ll be okay, but the concern began when I noticed myself becoming more and more hostile and irritable and just all-around not myself.  I just needed to vent about that because it’s really been getting me down. ",8.240431286549706,8.94533030921053,8.308508771929821,65.5756725146199,61.69736842105264,11.492397660818716,39.91520467836257,11.20814326018867,4.989414327485381,685,35,104,18,9,223,100,152,0.13699999999999998,0.795,0.068,-0.8645,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,11,6,1,0,4,1,7,3,0,1,2,28,22,15,0,2,8,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,4,0,14,4,13,16,4,13,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,5,6,71,22,0,0.0,0.2156550960119965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923909427882888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620297487651544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219063090038282,0.20101854952010334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15676713328604555,0.18473889592901516,0.0,0.0,0.4172042774434095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158522323325578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481977284130805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901880788570884,0.0,0.1034419204938986,0.0,0.0,0.20066946700140886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934708178532324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807795200534678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20005866298317485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19826501396610205,0.0,0.0,0.1834258296825484,0.0,0.0,0.21317088607121584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495999152592872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20722248222199455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660189329308733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154466414273892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357456648312945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004610973636776,0.1501794067147202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18484256863135484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thowitaway2019,2019/03/01,"Patient manipulating her therapist...intervene? Long story short, I happen to know my friend is crafting fake text messages (having a conversation with herself between 2 numbers), screenshoting that and then texting to her therapist from the fake number. Essentially making up conversations between her and someone else, and then having that someone else send to her therapist.

Should I intervene here? Confront her, or warn the therapist of the manipulation? I want to make sure she's getting the best treatment possible and I'm worried the impact this could have.",8.7938198757764,11.475067760869567,8.261801242236029,59.23847826086958,61.60869565217391,10.909316770186336,42.49068322981367,10.914260884657429,5.801616149068326,462,27,58,13,7,146,64,92,0.166,0.713,0.122,-0.5329999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,6,0,6,0,0,4,1,15,13,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,3,10,11,1,6,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,1,3,45,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245861284173314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312074932140302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27456028801379523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269642015704561,0.0,0.08585784111568251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453201975477293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903137830901178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454306029195428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193887200364669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18526212802412048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27847968256691874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548830463688283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7632187268949426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692857372121604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668893653517655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway2726777,2019/03/01,"Random erection when trying to release feelings I have been feeling emotionally numb for some time, I don't even remember when it started. I have been trying to cry, and got close, but whenever its about to happen an erection is building up. I don't understand this, I am not sexually aroused at all, and its not like it only happened one time, its always the case. I feel like a freak, it really weirdens me out and is throwing me off. What is wrong with me?",5.091273408239702,6.054280617977533,5.972528089887643,78.6623127340824,68.66292134831461,8.629962546816481,32.810861423220985,8.841846274778883,2.7796277153558053,361,16,67,6,6,119,62,89,0.187,0.799,0.014,-0.9416,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,10,2,1,0,1,17,18,6,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,3,3,9,2,10,15,2,11,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,2,7,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18676314831174168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465514397531013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524797818324037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824930534911382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404710379894669,0.1603495013704518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951582948308056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3969666708865742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219313115601955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209538300145115,0.17070686913304642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437905484754285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542618644759709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886921982193294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26176107949180794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30477815051526097,0.0,0.0,0.2336638287616076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24540447736285104,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SeleneTheCorgi,2019/03/01,"My SO and I really need help.. My significant other is going through a lot right now. They used to go to therapy but they don’t feel it works. They don’t take medication but I think they’re severely depressed. They use alcohol to numb their feelings of frustration and inadequacy. Recently they’ve been drinking while I’m at work and hiding it from me which really scares me. I got them to admit it but even when they give it to me to hide/throw out, they just buy more. I really don’t know what to do. When they get drunk they just talk about how worthless they are and undeserving of life and how they wish they killed themselves before they met me or their friends so they won’t hurt us. It really breaks my heart to see them like this. I’ve tried convincing them that they matter and though life isn’t always straightforward, it has things in it that make it worth living. They just brush this off and say that’s not enough. I want to get their mom involved since she’s really caring and close by, but she lost a brother to addiction and I’m afraid she’ll overreact. I really don’t know what to do. Should I suggest they be medicated for the depression? Does that work? And/or go back to therapy? Is there anything that’s worked for you guys in the past for something similar? I really don’t know how to help anymore and I can’t just leave them like this...
Please help",2.821240875912409,4.933193416058394,3.671261313868616,88.26242481751825,76.51824817518249,7.887649635036496,21.90890510948905,8.726425361277474,1.3275849927007295,1092,30,230,24,25,348,146,274,0.196,0.679,0.126,-0.9778,0,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,1,1,23,5,17,15,2,2,4,0,18,10,1,6,0,41,45,24,1,4,10,2,2,2,1,3,7,1,0,1,21,12,3,0,7,2,2,3,9,10,0,0,4,5,44,5,27,37,3,18,0,5,1,0,42,7,0,2,9,149,65,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058707283299613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084109606635344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440811416252876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060349631526394,0.0,0.0,0.08347836370918639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800286167076115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631991977926143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342717850491688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474419666081534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877283422643499,0.0,0.0,0.09937482767203808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481700592042342,0.0,0.06700167781245778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025845426981836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837406394618945,0.0,0.10599882244993512,0.09731269098348364,0.17295597857979633,0.0,0.08113266865525567,0.0,0.0,0.10044381882108952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020960565034874,0.20398389209192486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859607275375044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223086729682799,0.0,0.1672500938904242,0.0,0.0,0.10741274119383748,0.0,0.0,0.14330338312537594,0.09911916063960388,0.0,0.08957540324268012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073624605346337,0.08624260991204351,0.0,0.0,0.06771351830094033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438487588758872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880798754551382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521817490123142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683814711912073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111353175183434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4549057133939137,0.0,0.10016202626454307,0.0,0.0,0.08663116396496179,0.0,0.08067098300236082,0.10156143206078344,0.0,0.08083637375633228,0.0,0.0,0.11460091670810857,0.0,0.08391411305911882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809523318626166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627197969939978,0.08153547256103284,0.0,0.0,0.23201620569611806,0.0,0.0673937519403313,0.06500012530481522,0.09966653783822213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887265811131961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202258823894944,0.1752271415742011,0.0,0.0,0.05983329270041449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665363063934915,0.0,0.0,0.29540478995205083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,clubvelour,2019/03/01,"I have schizophrenia -- We need to stop apologising for our mental health (Video link). Hey! I hope this is okay to post here.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zri4OYUpNxU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zri4OYUpNxU)

I have been reading the posts on this sub for the past week, and a lot of them talk about how hard day-to-day life is having to build your life around your mental health.  


In 2017 i was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. I have to apologise daily for my behaviour and my general 'life' actions. So I made a video about why we need to stop apologising for your mental health, and instead, try and live along --side-- id.  


I hope that the videos encourages one or two people. If not, that's also pretty chill.  


Cheers.  


​",6.2611021505376385,9.454875701612906,3.951290322580647,85.13860215053765,70.20967741935485,6.713978494623658,22.43010752688172,7.793537801064563,0.9802333333333332,593,15,102,8,12,163,80,124,0.066,0.7829999999999999,0.151,0.8727,0,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,3,3,1,0,8,5,0,0,5,1,8,7,0,2,0,23,13,9,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,4,9,0,2,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,1,16,5,17,10,1,11,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,5,4,65,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107569794134516,0.0,0.14574450376216294,0.16344770917364976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974486202710068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17349918602348952,0.0,0.0,0.13652760540980494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049699914724207,0.0,0.0,0.4289422757240223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672030148920827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850309908975161,0.0,0.0,0.11877721883680388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435792616894515,0.0,0.12727921235913905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066716297766698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947899305669348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114931770044148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840763620071494,0.09325420113102048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25765205523797635,0.136847820577241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454914675475124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22491735696684168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811624973773606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132532467867037,0.0,0.1313994070780346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789801091312784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137683087091955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344770917364976,0.0
mentalhealth,selfimprovement-acc,2019/03/01,"Do any of you have experiences in dealing with Adjustment Disorder, such as related to loss/grief Not diagnosed and I won’t be able to for a while but been researching stuff relating to how I’ve been feeling the past few months and I feel like that most closely matches my situation.

 The loss happened almost 11 months ago and I started having constant weirder feelings outside of the normal grief ones, that would fit this disorder, about 7 months ago like abnormal anxiety and worry and stuff related to the loss, mostly centered around my mom (like fear of something happening to her too) but in general also. Just wanted to hear about any personal experiences with this or ways to cope without being able to get an official diagnosis and help until at least later this year
",11.39808510638298,9.25353856028369,10.64734042553192,60.58250000000002,57.014184397163106,14.506382978723408,45.485815602836894,13.023866798666859,6.0568241134751775,631,31,100,18,6,204,98,141,0.174,0.733,0.093,-0.9207,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,8,7,0,1,6,0,9,1,0,1,0,28,18,14,1,3,6,1,3,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,7,10,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,4,7,3,23,12,4,20,0,3,0,0,7,7,0,4,15,73,14,1,0.26408150132686753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340923171602501,0.0,0.1322197385425126,0.0,0.0,0.10559294060053873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958447664281554,0.0,0.10101081284609922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754426235524595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268914313111994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612821604409486,0.0,0.1340185824874191,0.0,0.0,0.3026602794689103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583223815648502,0.0,0.14858255401018414,0.20029131274823891,0.09432993865694657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898584244063677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335263994807977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488195224271435,0.0,0.08850413187013031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352532341464884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464453132722455,0.3161810023119319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937190074427862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947422989102903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604783723060986,0.0,0.11529289043013465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14841933603628324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165142078812844,0.0,0.0,0.09345912292959238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30231013807362417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788105579917833,0.10480780188558776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728257175437466,0.0,0.0,0.1340937917092797,0.0,0.09379796083709116,0.0,0.0,0.08502991430118972
mentalhealth,code108227,2019/03/01,"Spring is the worst I hate spring so much. It creeps slowly every year and fucks everything up. 

First I don't sleep, then I start to get anxious. I was angry at everything about  two week. Every single thing got on my nerves. Now that has kinda subdued and now I feel.. nothing. (might be because my meds?) Everything is too much or too little and I just wish I could sleep. 

 I want to try everything, do stuff I haven't done in a while. But I just quit everything as quickly as I started it and move on, which just makes me feel quilty and frustrated. I can't focus on anything. 

I work a lot, take every shift they offer me, but I just want to quit. I hate my job and still I do it, because it makes me feel like I'm worth something. I know how to do my job and I'm good at it. Until I make a mistake. Even a small thing will make me feel like it was all for nothing. 

I don't want to see anyone, even my close friends. I don't want to meet them or even answer to their texts. Just leave me alone. But I don't really want to be alone. I don't want to hear my own thoughts or even see my face. I'm thinking of covering all the mirrors. 

I can't wait for this to end, or at least that's what I hope. Summer usually is better time for me. 


(FYI I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2 and BPD.) 
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mentalhealth,RedditUserMIH,2019/03/01,"Exhausted by friday night - how can I fix it? Hi everyone. Does anyone else get to Friday late afternoon and no matter what exciting plans you've made you're Just. Totally. Exhausted? I come home, I just want to eat, I'm too tired to even really watch tv, and I fall into bed totally wiped out. I just try to get my energy back before starting work on Monday. It's such a waste of a weekend!!!

Has anyone found a way to prevent this? How can I turn it around?

I'm already trying to exercise Monday to Friday, and go to bed around 9 or 10 each night. I don't drink except for sometimes on weekends and I don't smoke or do drugs. I also don't have kids or a partner keeping me awake! I take magnesium as well.",0.5427477840451225,2.8236794794520605,3.03475423045931,88.60150282030621,86.39726027397259,6.448992747784046,20.232070910556004,7.724431198458867,0.9757474617244162,548,17,114,11,17,189,96,146,0.109,0.812,0.079,-0.7979999999999999,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,13,4,0,0,4,0,8,7,0,3,2,27,21,11,0,1,7,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,3,2,5,10,2,2,1,5,0,3,4,2,1,0,2,1,12,2,19,19,3,20,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,3,10,70,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527030761551785,0.13426122287902886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347845721610697,0.17202269757024166,0.0,0.29891461145932324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909671074731954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286165246745364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462199257176608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692128797430565,0.0,0.0,0.16446785552164786,0.1946985916783458,0.17179293663043874,0.14025018677328274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108894729612496,0.0,0.0,0.1604256722013448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18408224016699595,0.0,0.0,0.17543073456887226,0.0,0.09541550767277844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16840692057321135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922795765914015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18938673982534385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588611639160361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31510596346035896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075543531195682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604707073789354,0.0,0.11883309681844904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623205726655695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929643551229061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279719854413721,0.18261563384882676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902561412949433,0.13326292049821184,0.0,0.0,0.15095287986830114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222560142337555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,suicidefishy,2019/03/01,"Sprained my ankle, and feeling guilty over it Literally just happened this morning. As I was getting ready for work I tripped down the stairs and I 'm pretty sure I sprained my ankle (loud crunch and now swelling up slightly, painful to move). I feel like shit and can't stop crying. Not because of the pain but because of how guilty I feel. I called work pretty much 5 minutes after it happened to tell my manager I can't come in because of a sprain and he berated me about how it's only a 30 minutes notice and how they are gonna have to find someone in such a short time (I do waitressing). He thanked me for calling and we hung up. I just want to be a good employee and co-worker. I am feeling like I am letting my work colleagues down and making their day worse because of that - they will probably be swamped and have a horrible day because one person really does make a world of difference. I feel like I am such a piece of shit and can't curse myself enough for having that happen. I was on a positive stride this morning for the first time in a long time, motivated to do my best at work and clean up my room, do all I can for university and now this. I'm just miserable. I feel like I deserve to die at this point because of how useless I am and what a burden I bring to others.",4.375218072019685,4.844769760456277,5.249613061954824,84.98026168642363,70.02661596958174,8.16542160590472,31.05994184746141,8.124751697461798,2.0541918586446,1009,41,212,13,17,330,138,263,0.145,0.6559999999999999,0.199,0.8966,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,3,7,12,15,2,1,13,0,21,4,2,7,2,39,39,20,1,1,5,0,6,4,0,2,2,1,2,1,11,16,0,1,8,0,0,4,4,7,0,2,2,7,33,8,34,32,5,32,0,2,0,0,10,17,2,0,15,146,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3615015138967471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037235652689075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018477058338132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513951391864606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856804581289167,0.12748366140147854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257743061900153,0.10326385911797924,0.0,0.0,0.08649311781696363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212526975506744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998504108304503,0.28243732063856364,0.0,0.0,0.09033542905958583,0.08407088936847641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051638368418181736,0.0,0.0,0.08289997135600567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622042833383772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106775451067014,0.0,0.1931474941365987,0.0,0.0,0.08746783002287642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319492244950836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050483237982437,0.07265672951216551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252683076472073,0.0,0.0,0.06697465861958384,0.07517016005735476,0.2103395425640424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630084871619056,0.0,0.0,0.09343312049900576,0.0,0.0,0.2011059719857976,0.10656324060018388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331765440094038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20290997327510427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837444562925436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263234207621685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315291074402532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638808724884763,0.0909960335476488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289833451443742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829675350584612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3597733687854032,0.0,0.10072357171191304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,misarahble,2019/03/01,"Struggling to help my friend About a month back, a good friend of mine confided in me about her mental health. She's also not very sure of what's going on (I suspect anxiety disorder but not too sure), but she knows she just feels really shitty at times. Her heart races constantly for no reason, feels like the world is closing in on her etc. 

She also told 2 other really close friends, and we all try to be there for her when we can. She's tried telling her mother about it, but unfortunately it didn't go too well, her mother thinks she's making a big deal out of nothing. 

So we suggested that she sees the school counselor, since we are broke students. She went for a few sessions, but felt that it was ineffective and the counselor was using very standard responses that was probably used on every other student. She felt super frustrated and stopped going. 

Now that leaves us not knowing what to do to help her. Often times I just don't know what to say to her. She really wants to get better and doesn't know how. Please help!

TLDR pls help me help my friend who's maybe suffering from anxiety disorder",5.036713178294576,6.228682190697676,5.312558139534887,82.50341085271322,68.95348837209303,8.710077519379848,26.891472868217047,9.029198982220553,2.004742635658914,881,27,170,16,15,279,126,215,0.17800000000000002,0.65,0.172,0.4435,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,5,0,0,3,17,16,1,1,7,0,11,2,1,5,3,42,31,13,0,1,9,2,4,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,13,11,0,1,11,0,0,4,7,5,1,0,8,6,30,11,24,22,3,23,0,2,1,0,40,11,0,1,9,114,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025296677258092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16286496488639868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185199543846085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414466779843653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503254765966175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974328639374854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24399742165878055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871773669737742,0.0,0.0,0.08968709032277844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764668553353576,0.0760465227148849,0.2044136816116257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289660603322088,0.0,0.05561472326666274,0.0,0.1814906744001496,0.08928359100043122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314932102729328,0.0,0.1261414758715161,0.3567494885743465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23400430238886416,0.0,0.0,0.11271313659414325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052005150264750256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105491352977204,0.0,0.10694139424212608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727461804184202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496583416559073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213979440438914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684801546952825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476902384644913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458007884090784,0.1094463452029126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465177804111912,0.0,0.10773113016776124,0.08482533017689556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880549437830703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899535322705747,0.0,0.11128263546550783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20065209305447387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093040305359248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682076252843866,0.0,0.0,0.12414145168720005,0.0,0.0,0.10171569293456327,0.0,0.14454250464186585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804392200481965,0.18387391033632172,0.0,0.1756616123362133,0.06278582985652442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570959912825863,0.09867842765583038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ragersolodolo,2019/03/01,"I want to help my s/o seek help for depression but they won't help themself Hey, I wanted to take to this subreddit today because I dont know where to turn anymore. Ive been with my girlfriend of almost a year. She has had a rough childhood and adulthood. She was never put into school (which I'm pretty sure is illegal) , she group up poor with an abusive dad. She moved away form her family at an important time in their lives. She really has never had any hobbies, and spent most of her time on Twitter and at home due to no school. Needless to say that she is depressed, not to mention extremely anxious. I should also share that she tried to commit suicide when she was 16. She says it was the worst time of her life.

Before I met her she had dropped to a ridiculous low weight of 106 pounds, mind you she is 5'9. When I met her, she became happier, she started eating more , and was actually sort of happy. I hadn't known yet, but she was depressed, until a couple months later she was sitting quietly at our table and looking down. I didn't know what was wrong until we got to her house, and I had to budge her to tell me what was wrong, eventually she broke down crying saying she loved me alot. This was the beginning of it all. A month passed by and again I noticed it, when I saw on her twitter she was posting tweets about her wanting her to die. I was taken aback and couldn't believe it (I was clueless). I wanted to help, I NEEDED to help. We talked about it a bit but she is not one to talk about her own problems with me. I also found out she cut herself on two straight occasions when these depressive episodes happen.

This is when I started to notice a pattern, she would have these depressive episodes that would last days, and would be normally sad for the days she wasn't and there were a select few days where she was happy. This is a good time to add that we never argue, it is very rare for us to do that, we always talk things apart, but at times I feel like I am walking around glass when talking to her, as to not upset her, she is a very sensitive person. There was a pretty good period when we went to Disneyland together, and to a concert in another state for a two month span,  and it was the best I had ever seen her. Then last  November she started taking birth control pills, and her mental health spiraled. Her depressive episodes where now more frequent, she was so sensitive to the point where I didn't even know what would set her off , such as playing with her cat the wrong way. There was a time where she couldn't eat a meal without feeling sick and getting anxious. Its gotten to the point now that she doesn't want to go out, even to the gym, or out for a drive. She even told me once that she felt ""numb"" which had never scared me more in my life and worried.

I had always told her to seek medical help for her mental health, I have told her in paragraphs that I would take her ,help her, and we'd get through this.  Ive told her there was nothing to be afraid of. She always says she's fine, and denies it. But after she told me these things, and the way she acts, I am convinced she needs to seek help. She has told her parents she has depression, but her overly stuck up mother, and her careless father could care less unless there was something in it for them. Her father caught her cutting once, and literally told her to go the other way if she wanted to finish the job, he literally encourage her to commit suicide. Her mother has anxiety, and pops xans to calm her down, but could care less about her daughter, acting as if it doesn't even exist, and joking about it all the time and it pisses me off even typing that nonsense because it is so ridiculous It makes me question reality ,and if there are any good parents out there.

I guess what Im trying to say, is I want to convince her to seek help, and tell her its going to be fine if she does, because I dont want her to do something bad to herself. I want her to know there is more to life. But I cant do that if she won't help herself. How can I convince her to find help? or Am I wrong in this? Should I leave her be? Am I doing something wrong? I love her so much, and she deserves to live a great life. Sorry if this was vague.",5.2765227537923,5.114183514585768,5.565778529754962,85.68690816802803,67.99649941656943,8.302907817969661,28.575239206534423,7.627320914984058,1.506770660443408,3300,98,699,31,50,1051,336,857,0.149,0.688,0.163,0.8654,3,0,3,0,0,4,97.0,8,1,3,2,43,52,6,3,32,0,86,17,1,3,10,117,145,62,3,30,21,8,5,1,1,9,10,7,1,1,45,42,4,1,11,4,2,12,22,29,0,3,53,15,145,23,105,74,17,107,0,10,3,2,148,39,1,14,49,516,190,4,0.0,0.05380933111906877,0.0443184743404506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04547654747176797,0.0,0.0,0.07263669447296611,0.11336671735268185,0.0,0.0,0.061767494530430574,0.04762157176151451,0.034742339352611215,0.10261201277237617,0.04503946192307008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040428965341763635,0.0,0.0,0.042668873541826836,0.0,0.03791961563594549,0.08305366030812329,0.0,0.03864480741223142,0.05116713633817289,0.04766022505926118,0.0,0.049581401433088736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926072082720648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05093676758835937,0.0725203404225563,0.05025081728933863,0.04988622869134718,0.08786672504971897,0.0,0.2738110212881188,0.0,0.047133584510210255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039742959572846334,0.0,0.10645204878393133,0.0,0.0,0.09294173539505207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998084694588,0.04108045414777753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04281320619283665,0.0,0.045926362144228766,0.032444474483378984,0.04360550778874613,0.0,0.04150847368814256,0.0,0.0,0.04979518713663445,0.0,0.0,0.04745491063912228,0.0,0.07743114799112757,0.11427580459629386,0.036322512382315916,0.05007018148444396,0.050029726300988536,0.0,0.04016032140498034,0.09669019241405803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654801108119886,0.0,0.0,0.3348477798161753,0.0,0.04555493304210067,0.0,0.0,0.05240279535934703,0.0,0.0,0.04905597723960753,0.0,0.04506736513903774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983555259089263,0.0740385487499385,0.0,0.04808791189415563,0.0,0.0,0.12831178843917018,0.02218746775700661,0.0,0.08020452790128768,0.0,0.038137149490725226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197759447972296,0.0,0.030314855257466695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045750819665070525,0.09153524667582266,0.0,0.0458561886697891,0.0,0.10874942364741197,0.04826894198384482,0.03338523961880919,0.06734927211218264,0.14010734524801938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04449704295715542,0.04357690312435734,0.1034105232605156,0.0,0.09673095405324927,0.0307743693036495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085593307143817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03965461331719046,0.0,0.0,0.08586368082174943,0.0,0.043495001936253545,0.09240673380977334,0.0,0.04345600738477642,0.0,0.04565460380397155,0.050875177103650346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02909400242027683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057909517604875,0.04546832286841802,0.09192477917492904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488802308947913,0.0,0.05083835772383731,0.09643488076957983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935324526221398,0.0,0.042803086063185794,0.0,0.10243925066092603,0.14601137917847834,0.0793893975789391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034339631412676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18537290151234226,0.0,0.04304809571108663,0.303771751858168,0.0,0.06166758763183775,0.04939846262913848,0.08872768292110708,0.0,0.05462863536591395,0.0,0.0,0.07494423802281161,0.24108241426128404,0.10814490401512353,0.0,0.0553032170749368,0.0,0.042100146250512144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04377842507119613,0.0,0.0,0.046121121941076114,0.0,0.1613075122437747,0.2482707846253761,0.0,0.02924576146393681
mentalhealth,throwaway123890124,2019/03/01,"My dad committed suicide when I was 5, I'm now 24 and still think about ending up like him. I don't have the money to go see a shrink, and I can't for the life of me find the energy to even go for a walk. I know it's all in my head but I keep thinking that my dad probably felt like this most of his life and eventually he couldn't take it. I'm at the end of my rope and feel like everyone hates me. Some rational part of me knows it's not true, but then I lash out at people and make them actually hate me because I'm being a dick. 

I'm too much of a coward to kill myself, but I think about it all the time. Theres a rational part of my brain that knows exactly what I need to do to feel better and get my life on track, but all I do is lay in bed and do nothing all day. I've been on 30+ different medications for all sorts of things (depression, anxiety, insomnia, ADD, bipolar) and none of those worked or had side effects that made them not worth it. 

Am I destined to end up like my father? What are ways I can get my energy back and try to break this cycle? 

I cannot in any way shape or form afford a doctor, I tried to go last year and after taking my copay they stuck me with another $3000 in bills that didnt show up until 4 months later and I wasnt warned about it at the office. 
",3.4008905800082303,2.9377543461538487,5.20544220485397,87.7066700946113,71.97202797202797,8.967174002468118,24.16618675442205,8.671277953709913,1.160096914849856,997,21,246,16,17,345,161,286,0.126,0.7929999999999999,0.08,-0.9534,2,0,0,0,0,2,25.0,0,0,3,3,10,10,3,0,12,0,18,10,3,3,8,49,46,20,2,2,8,3,3,4,0,0,7,0,1,0,16,14,0,1,11,1,3,4,9,4,0,0,8,4,34,6,38,36,12,38,0,1,1,1,9,15,1,5,20,157,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.11697373809387332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815142537671106,0.1256919004038386,0.09169858314575488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217098366852593,0.0,0.07307033355878799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601337929082577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381217201688456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730485187867522,0.0,0.10324201030326463,0.0,0.0,0.12523639885735482,0.0,0.12268983172311446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185020301116909,0.0,0.0,0.07917158959477981,0.0,0.0,0.11453887497896192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212175810880762,0.08563362158313736,0.11509194130529005,0.0,0.10955705046555657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525201670361502,0.0,0.20437099787875987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236689386572018,0.12301900400946883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654405963301176,0.13261602478615184,0.0,0.19762871954109545,0.09770830267978177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539986386931101,0.2342455223017917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134218653605162,0.08001272588943853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075425602359707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567738051233277,0.0,0.08811666767615729,0.0888804977394373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501644244008152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596104179807568,0.0,0.08310127984717715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923782451408788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551916334513956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572662610115858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13111598112337478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18025142269555194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963487846986768,0.2304194497328806,0.0,0.0,0.06989591185135301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16276481426490888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19029105230887197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726522811816577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771909704192145
mentalhealth,no_username2,2019/03/01,"(dumb rant) Having to prepare for university entrance exam while dealing with terrible mental health and parents who think that I'm just complaining too much. Last year I dropped out of high school because of depression. Now I have to study A LOT to enter a good university and there is pretty much no other option because in my country, the rest of one's life depends on how prestigious university one graduated. Of course I know I won't get death penalty or something if I fail at entering university, but I feel so pressured. My father occasionally gets mad and shouts at me for being lazy and staying home all day(originally for 20+ years he has been going mad and shouting at my mother, but recently his anger is also being directed at me). For me to success in this, I have to spend at least 10 hours a day studying. But I feel like there will be no time to get proper help for my depression(or bipolar, I don't even know because psychiatrists said things vaguely) if I spend this year doing that, as I will be very busy if I enter university. I once read a post in r/selfharm that says, if you're a teenager you must get help NOW. Also I'm simply not able to focus for a long time, maybe longer than 30 minutes. So I'm very confused and don't know what to do.",8.948614369501467,6.73818804032258,9.094662756598243,70.01426686217012,61.74193548387096,11.760117302052784,38.674486803519066,10.230975488527342,3.807704838709678,1006,40,190,17,11,334,152,248,0.138,0.772,0.09,-0.9057,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,2,12,13,4,2,7,0,19,3,0,2,2,31,34,21,1,5,10,3,2,1,0,4,3,4,1,0,9,8,0,0,6,1,2,4,6,10,0,2,2,6,22,3,31,24,6,31,0,2,0,0,13,11,1,9,14,126,31,6,0.1352646121503336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21634212293372684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24736815625831274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446896934960002,0.13945187567780573,0.11650321223990455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934100061435539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678770430011106,0.09663306594734578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826807080302641,0.0,0.07687399625924482,0.11345353908564415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14377995745737995,0.0,0.0,0.18133003653743132,0.1429144892793697,0.13568143478913175,0.0,0.13320839598687598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223013680087831,0.11025871242981304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955413958116057,0.06608345701718184,0.0,0.0,0.1197049252239335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149971361419084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589148370458948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363149144712256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988701073524887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405239738072975,0.1833176037374868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019534430533274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954610784770482,0.13761273906275134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353012166753991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335574860540551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286676214394734,0.10756784870593963,0.0,0.1368950089291288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413330686436573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441740790229314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986379789410813,0.08667210172027859,0.0,0.0,0.15774776622811162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232149421603975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613179262009073
mentalhealth,zoeck014,2019/03/01,"How do you move forward from a highly suicidal night Last night was, to put it mildly, not a great night. I didn’t go to class this morning because I turned my alarm off last night thinking it’s just better for me to sleep. The problem is I never know what to do with the next day, I feel like some people would say be nice to yourself but where’s the line between being nice and being lazy? The problems I had or tasks I have to do didn’t matter last night because in my head I thought at some point I’d just take the quick and easy way out. Idk. This isn’t even a very clear question. ",3.79258064516129,4.1026897096774215,4.158225806451615,92.85733870967744,71.25806451612904,6.52258064516129,25.177419354838708,5.148860815047168,0.3588580645161299,460,12,105,1,8,144,84,124,0.132,0.728,0.14,0.2837,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,6,8,0,1,8,0,14,2,2,1,2,23,21,5,1,3,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,5,2,11,5,14,12,2,24,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,4,14,66,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633416056594752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066214559505148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798671785567548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011139852895612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898362034948899,0.09746634419557873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753688973478118,0.0,0.0,0.15041567540253947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001758147929635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414685766286595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497891772576443,0.33362845867172863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665330240872161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500457745937487,0.0,0.0,0.10522400927828217,0.0,0.145095931959724,0.6401563262490574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458408735889567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897140733716014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610921114040566,0.0,0.1371508523200231,0.1528339602213519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849541886691033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652954359437705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923338648366025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257914404058632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741948540705402,0.0,0.108310986217017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483977668928053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256987537814467,0.0,0.1082925891652794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691667847934196,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shonaaarrr,2019/03/01,"I need help but idk where to start TL;DR: I need mental health support, but don’t know what to start with because nothing I’ve tried before has helped.

So, a quick bit of background: I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression/suicidal thoughts and eating disorders since I was in my early teens (now early 20s) due to childhood trauma. I’d rather not go into too much detail, but it involves alcoholism & abuse.

I’ve tried for years to help myself because I hate feeling like a burden to the people I care about. That’s not me being pessimistic, just realistic; severe mental health difficulties can be just as distressing for loved ones when they feel like they can’t help you.

External to myself, I’ve tried therapy, CBT & medication but I’ve also tried self-help things like mindful practice & journaling. The trouble is, nothing seems to make a significant difference or have a lasting effect and each time the symptoms return, they bit really fucking hard.

I’m at my wits end; I know I can’t keep going on like this because it’s becoming near impossible for me to function at the most basic level, and it’s causing a lot of distress for my boyfriend and friends. I know maintaining your mental health takes constant effort, but it’s exhausting and sometimes it feels like I’ll just never be happy.

I guess I’m looking for reassurance that it won’t always be like this, as well as some advice on something I can put in place to actually get better. 

Thank in advance 💕",7.351241007194247,7.580875158273383,7.400638489208635,72.95045413669068,63.60431654676259,9.971582733812953,35.00089928057554,9.673873057562805,3.4018266187050354,1186,49,202,21,16,382,168,278,0.162,0.638,0.201,0.8924,0,0,2,0,1,0,37.0,0,2,3,4,13,24,2,3,9,0,14,10,0,3,1,41,42,17,0,3,12,0,4,6,1,1,7,0,0,0,12,9,2,1,9,0,0,4,7,9,1,1,2,5,22,15,31,35,7,32,0,0,1,2,13,12,1,6,22,120,34,0,0.0,0.10287504458482156,0.08473000739623447,0.0,0.0,0.0848457189973901,0.0,0.0927909786121728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943501272916186,0.07224649120357401,0.2822289906386655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642193157859744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878563865111794,0.09589289855272612,0.07388284155972895,0.0,0.0,0.0767908639818184,0.18958380551953655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852526580179312,0.08919459428847996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382845494476136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071507138590132,0.09951053658519032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884504763123081,0.0,0.0,0.07690238796854844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317060569685807,0.1860863175360624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708183422477602,0.08026957535053136,0.04536319209177447,0.0,0.0986908482993364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956490299496904,0.0,0.0,0.0924282800830636,0.07777936861301407,0.08572305972971071,0.0,0.2768770974659368,0.0,0.0,0.29098941122559124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717526265156402,0.0,0.0,0.14315249851199213,0.07077507604388544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545138570493178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291227882975887,0.0,0.0,0.07381667059148347,0.07836418434933215,0.0,0.05795727286208776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746842815090014,0.2625016624538799,0.0,0.08766987724593339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06382736865210423,0.1287612989643863,0.06696584537148778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666244778946174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05883579201490539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06019446903917197,0.0,0.09071507138590132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728447843819286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055623192741680816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904346173508249,0.090578834832235,0.09808907831931404,0.0,0.07182366637534315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684317773725375,0.08587349513950053,0.0,0.12291229609414707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076976873364684,0.0,0.09497395083187443,0.09852953007460767,0.0,0.09024583846700064,0.06528262081322607,0.0,0.0,0.07993805141136358,0.0992935153819164,0.0,0.057683578824634735,0.0,0.0,0.06893043521901923,0.050629151676583724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357976096385824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806732957142082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559133323523763
mentalhealth,dietketchup,2019/03/01,Help I feel so empty inside. Feels like someone tied a weight to my chest and it’s just dragging me down. I feel so lonely; I’m sat at college but I have no friends. I’m scared to be alone with my thoughts and my boyfriend is going out later. Please help,-0.6977777777777767,1.4842350555555583,0.5906481481481514,102.85041666666667,96.59259259259258,2.7,17.86111111111111,3.1291,-1.0908444444444445,199,6,46,0,8,62,42,54,0.2,0.578,0.222,0.34700000000000003,0,3,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,10,11,5,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,4,7,2,6,8,0,5,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,25,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005118633148339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4401314856182866,0.20728595499072025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22417213023387086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490110887336806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3889679937573797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175450569227227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31850177510655264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904946027846667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24584639959806145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303497314819729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533291985145289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aswm17,2019/03/01,"i've always been depressed People always say that they liked themselves before they were depressed. I used to say the same until I realised I've always been like this. From start to finish. I can't remember the last time I didn't have depression and when i didn't, I was too young. I actually can't remember. I've always been like this. crying, sad every day, anxious 247. I just thought it was normal and U didn't need to see psychologist for it. I didn't think my childhood was so messed up and made me so depressed. I've always been depressed and anxious I think. Depression being a main factor of my life as well as anxiety. I didn't know why I always had sweaty palms in crowded areas when I was younger and thought it was just me being sweaty all the time but now I know it's my anxiety. I'm sweating whilst typing this. I wish I could be able to say ""I miss how i was before"" but I can't. It makes me sad that even in my childhood I can't look back and think of how happy I was, because i never was. I was depressed, anxious, an abused kid looking for help bc her family treated her like a piece of shit. my cat gets better treatment than me. I wish I could look back and say yeah i miss those days but I can't. I don't miss anything. I know it sounds weird that i wish i could say that. I just wish I had good memories to look back on in my family. I probably have a few but, along with the amount of abuse I experienced, it's all gone. It's dead and doesn't count to me",1.2060576923076916,3.1210213365384654,2.9134358974359,92.6982307692308,80.82692307692308,5.826666666666667,20.97692307692308,6.88968998030894,0.33791846153846183,1155,33,258,13,30,382,137,312,0.194,0.659,0.147,-0.8927,0,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,0,0,2,1,16,24,1,0,8,1,36,4,3,5,3,45,64,21,1,9,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,6,0,1,16,10,0,0,10,0,0,1,13,15,1,0,25,12,50,9,24,33,7,26,0,12,5,0,12,6,1,0,23,169,66,1,0.07314807039031833,0.1733370043030808,0.07138196496494202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651903260069373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191614726704084,0.24790949631183085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060194629311709914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687390529076944,0.0,0.044590384774095056,0.0,0.12448724058440988,0.0,0.0,0.06469352394534779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752083462820287,0.0,0.08034972055499291,0.09434890802575197,0.0,0.4410162808958456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04831361061692309,0.0,0.061630404154249877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791498150488146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038216847703673,0.0,0.0,0.06135313095670576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786748111333584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04902960968748215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206007994976413,0.05962544031101146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05166664536212447,0.1429458093638269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457038252623229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921447284966943,0.04882690498961284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054238367338586585,0.056416301320513076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166957817661404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05071166180764924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788659917340295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572500877621632,0.0,0.0,0.2908514076147365,0.0,0.0,0.058289541588484525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508544308964504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177458071331942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061098974946049,0.0,0.11614279434232422,0.08530645617158879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317644694830561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657689000109942,0.0,0.06600475607273004,0.0,0.33646668392605394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anon_on_reddit2019,2019/03/01,"Recoverer's guilt? A few days ago one of my friends broke down because she had been thinking of killing herself and i feel fucking guilty about it. She helped me improve whatever the fuck was going on in my head, and sure we don't talk much now because different schools, but it's still not fair. SHE shouldn't be going through all of this shit she doesn't deserve it. I do. She has someone special in her life who loves her and cares for her. I don't and it makes sense that i should have the issues still. Like i relapse sometimes but i havent tried or thought about ending it all again. Or maybe i have a savior complex i don't even know any more.",2.349636591478699,4.297511075187971,2.66182330827068,95.71925125313284,77.34586466165413,5.335588972431078,26.12092731829573,5.985473137389443,0.5867047619047625,515,20,113,3,12,157,89,133,0.133,0.715,0.152,0.5769,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,7,12,4,1,4,0,15,6,2,1,3,21,26,8,1,2,5,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,5,0,0,2,7,6,0,1,4,1,21,6,11,19,5,13,0,1,0,3,15,4,3,2,8,79,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630650327169698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250957268246186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242745547783456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18755441055303596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863577455375315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921938509640111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292955366952233,0.0,0.0,0.1215005607794139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301318916234334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212319796942646,0.3401269175270065,0.0,0.0,0.2090917628104563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887909292989736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330117736508454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19200125575165752,0.0,0.0,0.20351898278566974,0.0,0.10109687230507852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993287615913274,0.08987113453640626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602659445288814,0.0,0.12279140932768773,0.0,0.18480755041600935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352281113902541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465268746533467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18617230877666532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888271922812389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558644978913919,0.0,0.18193622597054976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938134452608977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733754364530027,0.0,0.0,0.1478560830567447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787095387928945,0.0,0.146039743903322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248933885852376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wallace-Wellss,2019/03/01,"How can I help my parent? My parent has had some pretty severe mental health issues in the past, and I would like to be more supportive.

It is very difficult to be who they need me to be, as I live under rather strict expectations. My parent has very severe anxiety, and whenever I’m out and about, my parent absolutely loses it. While they have gotten better, it still makes my social life difficult. Furthermore, I find myself making decisions that I don’t want to make to please my parent.

It is a difficult situation; I like to try and go out, spend time with my friends and partner, as I myself have mental health issues. These things help me greatly.

I want to create a less stressful environment for my parent, but I don’t want to sacrifice any more of the things that make me happy, especially since my parent is not very supportive of the the mental health issues I struggle from.

What can I do?

Tl;dr: my parent suffers from severe mental health issues that are made worse by my actions, which I do to help my own mental health issues. How can I help them without sacrificing my own mental health?",6.372432830327567,7.0317064641148335,6.940287081339713,73.93893264630108,65.69856459330144,9.49297018770703,27.560176665439826,9.466822959209583,2.4055974236290028,877,24,152,16,13,288,104,209,0.127,0.7070000000000001,0.166,0.7031,8,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,3,2,5,15,0,2,6,0,20,7,0,7,0,28,34,11,0,7,4,8,0,2,2,1,7,0,0,1,13,8,0,0,2,0,1,2,4,7,0,0,3,0,34,8,24,27,6,10,1,2,0,0,19,4,0,1,6,115,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04312342909563238,0.0,0.04851123779840595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608418446788117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795889036997207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04899319749803749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036039415721524935,0.0,0.0,0.06991372848986475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750496662539013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4044342101135297,0.0,0.0,0.1700192233413622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33093666541811656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479090784687982,0.06196137304287285,0.0,0.05599537909694356,0.0,0.0,0.07094360860595178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000349071148661,0.1693163073785581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834360208181695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047020388031787534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5633064720198152,0.0,0.06053546579399707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960910062723367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451443860073562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21491798675610824,0.0,0.05245639318640874,0.07127955415335224,0.0,0.06464218915646694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064219056744914,0.0,0.07264007558214453,0.06629367335898301,0.0,0.0,0.14392202545204616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425836897301621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036976985735622886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04305367836200809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696860747252897,0.1122089698541842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061128456766077637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462388579205308,0.04504720885779325,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sadderthanarainyday,2019/03/01,"What is happening? Okay backstory I have depression and anxiety/social anxiety. I don’t know why it happens, but sometimes I’ll have an episode where anything small inconvenient makes me break down and tears flowing and everything. And then someone can say something to me, not even remotely funny and I will laugh at it. I don’t know what it is that I find humerous or makes me laugh but it’s like my mood changes in a literal instant and Im laughing. Then I’m back to being upset again in another instant. For example, my mom told me I had to do something Saturday that was conflicting with my pre existing plans. I don’t know why but that upset and stressed me out and I immediately became really upset and tears flooded. Why? I felt so immature as I’m 18 and logically I know it isn’t the end of the world, but emotionally that’s how it felt. Anyway my mom said something to me, I can’t recall it but it was a question like “have you been taking your meds?” And I started smiling trying to contain my laugh but it wasn’t a funny question! That make no sense! Luckily I was able to contain my smile and giddiness before my mom noticed, because she would be confused or freaked I assume. but I knew nothing was funny. That’s just how I reacted I guess. then 2 minutes later I was upset and on the verge of crying again. Does anyone experience this?? 

SUMMARy: basically I go from crying to laughing in literally 2 seconds, then back to crying in a heartbeat and I don’t know why. Anyone else?",2.3287074755036907,4.829018197952223,4.285890124408237,81.16925795442036,80.33105802047783,7.330133215897829,28.56424088957393,8.360895534625662,2.468313090388638,1184,56,218,26,31,402,150,293,0.193,0.667,0.14,-0.927,0,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,1,11,17,0,6,8,1,25,0,0,6,0,52,46,31,0,1,11,3,2,2,0,2,0,2,0,0,18,16,0,3,13,0,0,2,9,8,0,1,13,4,36,8,22,29,0,27,0,1,0,0,11,12,0,7,14,150,54,0,0.10090692811636573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580971236715032,0.07719352381461189,0.0,0.0,0.14111294068380706,0.10339107248428923,0.08303780401228379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518239821706434,0.0,0.0615119267954912,0.0,0.08586436368059268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674615016592656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325245669345452,0.0,0.0,0.0869109893262556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830433279442049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429479034701552,0.11350671242969618,0.08937358754805454,0.0,0.0,0.06664807434495508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068864047470404,0.09870633821923347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377295062232636,0.0,0.09222710421522028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057347732649601614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111160357667844,0.0,0.178463326566109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089967980814766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772790437430195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859605614368024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20206847421843685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112084849298696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545429239341657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968229190025538,0.11488320646709875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22607770625141066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464356202090972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598559609269304,0.08024523934566713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549811273763808,0.23304924939134036,0.09979953209055664,0.0,0.07142244308587238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558854522837457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586945192135673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642089408659167,0.0,0.06850918048628969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36421123022546703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168138657266178,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gennoboy,2019/03/01,"Five Easy Ways to Cope up with Depression It's been more than a month since I had been diagnosed to be with depression. As in going through this journey I found 5 easy ways to cope up with depression. Please see my blog with the link below. I hope these helps other people experiencing depression.

https://depressedexpress.wordpress.com/2019/02/27/five-easy-ways-to-cope-up-with-depression/",11.621052631578946,15.74821847368422,7.073543859649124,64.65347368421055,57.24561403508771,9.472280701754386,27.18947368421053,9.888512548439397,2.8737115789473697,331,9,45,7,5,88,42,57,0.21,0.597,0.193,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,7,8,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,4,0,1,4,2,4,1,14,3,1,9,0,4,1,0,1,4,0,1,1,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8038760786795122,0.1894621354949767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20466971496572836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608663139356518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511833443558484,0.0,0.0,0.18540152982319266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899507911296372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941075203895974,0.0,0.0,0.2049032941304982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874869298474042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441210510188036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963336813929065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Absywabsy17,2019/03/01,"How I Am Spending My Last Two Years. I am dying, two years, that is all I have. Im horrified, yet in a way at peace. I can’t spend my life hating the world, no I must learn to accept it and just live the best life. So heres my plan: I wanna fix my relationship with my ex; she is the one person I want to have in my life for the remainder of it. Next I am gonna start exploring the world. Go to Nova Scotia and PEI and hopefully if my Ex and I work it out take her to France and Spain. I wanna go to Hong Kong and Japan. I wanna see Mount. Rushmore and the Leaning Tower of Piza (I think i spelt that right). I want to go around the world talking to people that are going through what I am going through. Hear their stories. I wanna spread my story. I want to try and inspire people to not give up. To know that they aren’t alone. I am going to live everyday like its my last. Yes, there will moments where ill be in a but load of pain from my heart but I will just keep going. My goal is to not regret anything I do. I want to have the best last two years of my life. Not let anything hold me back. My life is gonna end. I most likely won’t see my 21st birthday. I won’t get to have kids, or become a music teacher or see my younger brother graduate high school. I most likely am gonna miss out on so much, but I hope that the years I have will be the best years of my life. This whole experience of learning I’m dying has made me grow as a person. I feel new. I feel like I can take life’s challenges. My first challenge is fixing it with my ex. Why? Because she is the one person I want by my side the rest of the way. She may not come back, but at this point I have nothing else to lose. I also am gonna start looking into funding to live my dream life. To go around the world, to start an organization to help others like me. To make a foundation that supports heart transplants and helps thoughs who have only so long to live.  

But first before all that, I need to build the courageous to tell my family. I need to tell them but only when I am ready. ",1.0920938228438253,2.650607606818184,2.7822727272727263,95.20962703962705,79.75,5.512820512820514,19.463869463869464,6.163053881298487,-0.22320920745920736,1577,36,374,11,39,521,202,440,0.035,0.8009999999999999,0.163,0.9945,2,1,0,0,0,1,50.0,0,0,3,11,17,21,1,0,21,1,37,12,2,3,3,66,82,26,2,16,15,4,2,5,0,11,10,1,0,4,17,17,0,2,9,1,4,11,9,5,0,7,1,7,66,16,55,67,10,57,0,3,4,0,24,21,0,8,28,251,83,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713040402182618,0.0,0.055056389323708765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330933543525655,0.1225756690588001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587716415660364,0.0,0.04196808688189901,0.07603536816060041,0.05858316041678974,0.0,0.21674994368816133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930502163663345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290325284457278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05751227882580848,0.0,0.06097741824336246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734492632545115,0.0649021975862713,0.0,0.06962155127737454,0.0491838355674311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712131496951345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035969368573644515,0.0660436779952217,0.3130156705147872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797150263236458,0.0,0.0,0.07759482328192134,0.16316647720391736,0.09229249442786888,0.07273993298267054,0.0,0.1367598900298244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436585602237247,0.0,0.0,0.06119378595461052,0.0,0.0,0.03783614529593925,0.1683568557675536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040004214433936,0.3890256201984811,0.16817420888992013,0.0,0.2431703009448491,0.06092684011530417,0.05781358211005355,0.07702143879120789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514406692734619,0.045955463294606376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050609977875646785,0.10209737028869817,0.0,0.06649221946966635,0.07321885844707775,0.0,0.0,0.06605991534565457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330411687188836,0.10472148039018347,0.07325735459753542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545876042340548,0.1803418929052385,0.0,0.0,0.06508203979255034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391519889955189,0.0,0.05879439402435454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967616667405571,0.16458484658195446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618937104885618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812600523066328,0.0,0.0,0.10352775195950953,0.05533607631838111,0.12034946284367415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411395165311872,0.06764117470560246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04674214235583103,0.0,0.2017585969518408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20303676101047852,0.10929403257371956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212310908535111,0.07686447451954104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012095192483839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22167391301459827
mentalhealth,dananeedsmulder1,2019/03/01,"I don´t want to continue. I want to die. 32 years old female Hi everybody i am writting this because i realized that my life is absolutely out of control i feel in the middle of nowhere I am bipolar I been on treatment since i was 21, ai had very bad days sometimes but everything was working the way it supposed to be, i had the best medical support and all I can say is that i was on the right direction to deal with my mental illness, i used to felt not that bad, i almost can do everything, i went to many concerts, i enjoy most of the time and when i was depressed i had the medical support and i only try to suicide once, but i had the support, my mom is the only one that knows about my situation and a friend that has mental problems too, not bipolar i think he has ocd , my mom  doesn´t understant at all how difficult it is to be bipolar, not because i am not crying it doesn´t mean i am ok, but even if my mom don´t understand my mental disorder  i had the medical support and for me it was great, now everything is different, i start to felt like so different on my 30 birthday, i think it was normal that because of my condition i felt very sad but everything is going to be ok, i can say that since i became 30 everything get worst, for financial reasons i couldn´t continue with my treatment, i don´t have the financial resources to buy my medication, i start to have other health issues that are not so bad, but if i can´t pay for my meds and a right teraphy because is so expensive here, it makes me feel that i want to die, i mean, i can´t afford it, i am not asking for help, i mean public institutions is so difficult to get the service, i need meds and terapy for all my life and if i can´t pay is like i am already dead, all i have to say is that at least i had the chance to enjoy many things, now is like being drowning all the time, is not fair, i am not going to explain the details of how my mind is getting worse, maybe i feel i need to tell this, i don´t want to live anymore, is sad, i so sad, my family doesn´t know how hard it is, is just sad, i repeat i am not asking for help, just i realize that at least i try all the time to do my best, i am still doing it, nobody next to me is going to understand but i am sure that i try every single day, until i realize that drowning is not an option for me is not fair, thanks everybody for reading. 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mentalhealth,IQ2301,2019/03/01,"Is it normal to just start insulting yourself? Like I’ll be walking, fine and normal and whatever, and then I just start spitting out insults to myself? For no reason? Does this happen to most people or does it mean something or anything?",4.408636363636365,6.89970895454546,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636366,73.0909090909091,6.218181818181819,29.181818181818183,7.1686216300943375,1.9723818181818191,190,8,30,2,4,60,33,44,0.182,0.733,0.085,-0.7059,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,13,6,6,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,5,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,4,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22054872987003976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4690733015278135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23699964414229305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093575396976434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919405806242161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5251842105487912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580382883262145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755580871399157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20632657041694255,0.0,0.0,0.37939657230035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MyMindTherapy,2019/03/01,"What Are The Benefits Of Online Counselling For Clients? MyMind is Australia’s first therapy platform using an app. We aim to change the way people get help with facing life's challenges by providing anonymous, affordable and convenient access to a licensed therapist at the touch of a button.   
For More Information visit: @ [https://mymind-therapy.blogspot.com/2019/02/what-are-benefits-of-online-counselling.html](https://mymind-therapy.blogspot.com/2019/02/what-are-benefits-of-online-counselling.html)  
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mentalhealth,CommunistCheshire,2019/03/01,"Assessment help advice I’m 17 years old and my mom doesn’t have the slightest clue about mental health and has never taken me in for any kind of assessment even though I show signs of Depression and G.A.D

I would really like to get screened and set up an appointment for myself because I know my mom sure as hell won’t, but I don’t even know where to start.
this has become kind of urgent as I’ve started to have suicidal thoughts that are not going away and it’s messing with my head to be quite honest thank you for any help I receive ",3.1357474747474754,4.816743827272732,3.7657575757575783,89.83308080808081,74.36363636363637,7.070707070707071,23.131313131313128,7.793537801064563,0.963464646464646,431,12,90,6,9,136,79,110,0.095,0.7440000000000001,0.161,0.7063,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,5,9,1,0,2,0,10,2,1,0,2,15,20,9,1,1,2,2,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,1,0,2,5,3,0,0,2,1,11,6,17,15,0,12,1,1,1,0,6,4,1,0,6,55,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644312123857003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228858344990346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809493092801316,0.0,0.0,0.10257565292773413,0.1858406735723313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493045399757276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222811119228684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791397800006072,0.0,0.0956315535362031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726932674891721,0.17886283227229624,0.0,0.0,0.22557527825627546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35045401625910083,0.18495326312686905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220808030174445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957628945262818,0.0,0.0,0.3941508994872493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977997326188945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657075383212256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897554850117928,0.0,0.0,0.10779788452920534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382043325543917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18405975062602006,0.0,0.15859220956540487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154920140516757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16532413497310586,0.13358735322504547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953397354795675,0.0,0.0,0.10836017580932568
mentalhealth,wetleavesontheground,2019/03/01,"I just cannot cope with everything and I keep wishing I was dead. Don’t know what to do. I’m sorry if I am either jumbled or end up drip feeding. I don’t know how to formulate my thoughts...

I’m so desperately stressed and I feel like there’s white noise in my head all the time.

I keep thinking it will get better but to be honest it can only get better if something changes. And so much needs to change I don’t feel I can do it. I feel stuck in an endless hamster wheel.

I hate living. But I have to look after my children and I love them.

I just feel useless, and like the problems in my life won’t ever go away.

I don’t know how to seek support because there’s so much wrong that I don’t know how to begin telling someone.

I kept crying yesterday and my children saw. I don’t want that. But I can’t stop thinking I wish I was dead.

I know I’m feeling like this for reasons, and I need to solve a lot of problems in my life to feel better. No amount of CBT is going to take away the fact that we’ve had to visit food banks; no antidepressants are going to cure my chronic pain condition; no counselling is going to replace true friendship and family support.

I can’t cope with all the general  life admin, housework, self care, going out to work, money problems, disability, children with disabilities, and marriage problems all at once. All I want to do is eat, sleep, or cry.

I don’t know how to cope at all. I don’t know where to start.

I truly wish I could just leave, but as I would never do that to my kids and husband, I just feel trapped in an endless cycle of shitty experiences.

I’m so endlessly exhausted yet have insomnia. I just feel hopeless.

Can anybody help in any way? I need something but I’m not sure what.

I’m so sorry if this doesn’t make sense.",1.6776855265266877,3.5676615585831084,3.313438852380192,90.5323765827857,79.19073569482289,5.8435326174066375,24.690575412726396,6.794906146795322,0.8329099855746107,1380,51,296,14,34,457,172,367,0.214,0.621,0.166,-0.969,0,1,2,0,0,1,44.0,0,0,1,4,19,24,1,1,7,0,34,13,2,6,10,85,88,30,2,17,17,1,8,3,0,3,7,0,0,5,11,14,3,4,19,0,2,6,18,11,0,0,7,11,42,13,39,76,10,30,0,2,3,1,12,13,0,6,13,186,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054891934075717005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167699524475026,0.0,0.0,0.04920577380318227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21416914802907594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229876911879558,0.0,0.1707807637659667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444784228154714,0.0,0.17733285751213276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259605883276495,0.0,0.0,0.07149339586596773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301528410770718,0.0,0.0,0.07254535765970349,0.07895902476773038,0.07609503055849093,0.0,0.326513077769928,0.1153318565372936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760617281397843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843450700461359,0.0,0.2293733677261844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796936584934748,0.08284135284414182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541044867893164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349415537173846,0.0,0.0,0.3105287521394061,0.0,0.0,0.08547014929454279,0.0,0.0,0.17104341739173934,0.11830620879317184,0.0,0.07127667540347613,0.0,0.06778393430380444,0.0,0.0,0.06862471493424913,0.07285237560752726,0.0,0.05388080086324217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867603736815613,0.17955715216883758,0.06225574808679544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596348602671994,0.0,0.061390712077421625,0.08589109219797571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089501117949768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299294782220687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420789869864058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807776564561203,0.0,0.06839325339221154,0.12428341676108097,0.0,0.18071743410733696,0.057133579811902424,0.0,0.0,0.06748500092075704,0.0924637563322631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831987506289829,0.07607704331475194,0.0,0.060690914498996565,0.0,0.07055228014902022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344341559891747,0.0,0.06408215690704258,0.04706810905082024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522074202835637,0.06407127229785146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784698476832369,0.0,0.0,0.058764656824933065,0.0,0.0,0.0573407187409288,0.08825395069808847,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Phillip_Puffle,2019/03/01,"How do you help a suicidal person? A friend of mine is feeling very depressed, and is persistent about wanting to either take his life, turning to a life of prostitution or finding a sugar daddy to leech off of their wealth. I've tried to tell him countless times that these options are very poor, but he won't listen and gets really angry when I try to offer realistic solutions.

He says he has no passions or interests to guide him forward in life, and is reluctant to hang out with friends that care for and support him. I really wish to help but nothing seems to work. 

I've learn from past experiences that pressuring him to realize other ideas won't work, but I'm borderline fustrated that he's just given up and won't take any steps to improve. I don't know how else to approach this situation, so I turn to you all. ",9.290310559006214,6.906967099378885,9.284347826086961,69.46391304347829,61.2360248447205,12.926708074534162,39.77018633540372,11.491704259439757,4.4299788819875765,657,27,124,15,7,217,104,161,0.111,0.675,0.214,0.9584,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,1,3,6,9,0,1,4,0,10,5,0,2,1,27,25,14,1,2,7,0,1,0,2,3,3,2,0,1,7,7,1,0,7,0,2,4,5,2,0,0,1,4,13,7,24,21,2,11,0,1,0,1,21,5,0,4,4,76,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567188062966207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584324883560024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383889178330186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981006672009066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200318189519266,0.0,0.0,0.07857085826702291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420254620990628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24011092931394146,0.0,0.0811859002938524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20831194840551231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541864035864474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539937289170482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292738703682351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149102803672854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833923575646585,0.0,0.13568229039321364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990961734269432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357394603567573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146302998965882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746671054642881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699736140073776,0.17633698678995072,0.0,0.0,0.2336708727878513,0.0,0.1358194469113422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061031797898488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21100191965015933,0.3380437225708372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564293285467774,0.09165422073859483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17869311766128745,0.0,0.0,0.2262544363141488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,riding-hood,2019/03/01,"What's it like to have mental illness and use recreational drugs? Ive always been scared to take recreational drugs like ecstasy because I suffer from a variety of mental illness that are generally related to abnormal levels of serotonin (maybe dopamine too?). I also suffer heavily from migraines as well, which may or may not be related to the serotonin thing. Im wondering if anyone has actually done recreational drugs like ecstasy, which has a big influence on serotonin, how did it affect the psych/body?  I currently don't take any medication, and I don't plan on taking illegal drugs any time soon, but I'm wondering house ecstasy would interact with medications (like SSRI's) and how it affects people that don't take medication for mental illness. Also, I recently heard that they may be starting trials for using MDMA for PTSD? ",10.708159156279963,9.643408885906043,10.688609779482269,56.34275167785239,57.456375838926185,14.688782358581015,44.10450623202301,13.484332010920856,6.457796931927133,680,34,99,23,7,227,91,149,0.105,0.778,0.118,0.4606,1,0,4,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,7,8,0,1,4,0,17,11,0,7,0,22,28,11,0,2,4,0,0,4,0,4,11,1,0,0,10,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,4,1,7,5,15,18,0,9,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,7,9,66,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.1094706836043783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794192764316426,0.09334205228010442,0.0,0.0,0.15257135881603054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843828089590506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838337815160776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246057640194181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479823420203883,0.0,0.0,0.5203688703575038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943969566055544,0.0,0.0,0.12117274890934475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192202957305069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269904976835565,0.0,0.0,0.33902612254126946,0.3391506423660371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077770908765595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113144150111328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107633926527956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112310914597691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940099080770298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373790867024933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452685300910805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541257359304431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377356279064076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086254206713943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433070397406636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968886067781591,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThereminThursdayse,2019/03/01,"Mental drag at work. Clears up with little rest, but still can't keep up and hits me noticeably worse than my coworkers. I'm not sure what I'm experiencing. From start of day to end, I experience a slow gradual drain. Everything from mood, to intelligence, to awareness, to senses gradually curve off like a dying battery.

The problem is, it seems to impact me more than everyone else. To the point they comment, I'm too slow/tired/sad-looking/scatterbrained/impulsive/irritable/immature etc. My mental age, senses, and sense all deteriorate. At the start of the day, I'm perfectly gungho and on top of my shit. By the end of the day, I'm ready for bed and I haven't even been awake for 10 hours. It's so bad one of my coworkers started a rumor that I'm on drugs.

I have no fucking clue. I haven't even had so much as a beer in over a year. I'm trying to keep up on vitamins, food, mostly I'm missing out on sleep. Working two jobs with consecutive years of ongoing family emergencies isn't helping much either.

I get home and an hour of video games has me ready to go back to work again. I have a hell of a time relaxing on my days off. Mostly they just stress me out that I'm losing credit not being at work.",2.7176385636221703,4.545612270491809,4.513559718969557,83.39740437158473,75.88524590163935,8.254176424668229,24.323965651834502,8.976282227363876,1.8200818110850905,950,31,197,22,21,322,144,244,0.16699999999999998,0.716,0.117,-0.9373,1,0,2,1,0,0,38.0,0,0,2,7,9,14,3,1,14,0,11,7,2,0,4,24,31,9,1,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,5,9,2,2,1,4,1,1,7,8,0,2,2,1,17,5,44,27,9,40,1,2,0,1,6,20,3,3,20,120,22,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284193606390533,0.10081321382498812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311470349122484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530950153043385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400205636200433,0.0,0.1008631342965975,0.0,0.21388036262545376,0.0,0.13465749321158782,0.1594958275734729,0.0,0.0,0.11537265291505915,0.10851371105758707,0.11810730659328827,0.11382332964262197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599980447896047,0.0,0.0,0.11162257985268442,0.06308189011246887,0.0,0.068619567544211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092976360961693,0.0,0.1211124935876951,0.0,0.2378100000174815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981624397014652,0.21463927971107846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058987674155161963,0.12101362823571607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507765442652944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24335590540388274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17751621390903669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746377723478115,0.0,0.0,0.08181683861787413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413873096168743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155322829883556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991755071367082,0.0,0.0,0.12393831398008782,0.0,0.0,0.12082762502468718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563820885883428,0.0,0.09642346155335622,0.0,0.13830775202741408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379642423291995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040471437919135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197482482003855,0.0,0.11794585362360678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516018776011152,0.0,0.12304481100198947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555057536576713
mentalhealth,TooDepressedForSex,2019/03/01,"I need help I have a therapist that I normally see monthly, but I haven't gone in a few months.

I'm having really bad anxiety, and I have no one to talk to.

I feel like my life is falling apart, and like none of it is real.
",0.8339999999999996,1.8237070000000024,3.916999999999998,89.24350000000004,79.0,8.200000000000001,22.5,8.841846274778883,1.3132000000000006,170,5,42,4,4,62,37,50,0.23,0.614,0.155,-0.6133,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,0,7,11,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,1,2,7,2,4,10,2,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137916779655331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23334347673993186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413070364377959,0.1996514561127325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18732100382388592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19739598041134004,0.2730671595503881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4461361783652679,0.0,0.0,0.2072214215122882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738185641952077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18937423830280228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.318094908684553,0.17903387371342253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226992120146692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22462518600004994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244830121035085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,instrumentjar,2019/03/01,"Extreme Introversion that affects my mental health I noticed in the past few years I’ve been incredibly introverted and in the beginning of the semester I’ll be super talkative but then the next week I’ll just feel terrible and want to stay in my bubble. I was also verbally abused when I was little and I have a problem where I starve myself and then binge eat really late at night or I eat one meal. I’m trying to fix these problems but its hard. Anyway in most of my classes mid semester I barely talk to the people in my class which I’m used to, but today all my classmates were talking and I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I’m starting to think people actually think im mute or mentally incapable of talking and for the first time in class (today) I stared feeling really emotional all of the sudden and wanted to cry. 

I also have intrusive thoughts where if one thing pisses me off I’ll think about it for the rest of the day and it goes the opposite as well. If I’m super happy I’ll be super interactive but if something small affects my mood and I’ll be super sad.

Usually I’m really depressed and I think fixing my eating schedule will definitely help with that, but I just feel like I’m loser. There’s a girl that I like in one of my classes that I only briefly spoke to once and now I have a huge crush on her and got jealous when I saw her talking to a guy when I was across the room. I also noticed recently (the past 6 months) I have the tendency to organize things obsessively (make things parallel, stack things, make things balanced, etc.) I’m really worried about my health now that I’m realizing how much stuff is wrong with me. What do you suggest might help or think I can do other than therapy? I’m mainly worried about my introversion because it’s starting to make me want to genuinely cry in the middle of class.",4.243333333333332,5.553677073170731,5.6012466124661255,79.24626016260163,70.95121951219512,8.827100271002713,28.571815718157183,9.250403328903447,2.469849864498645,1476,55,282,31,27,496,183,369,0.16399999999999998,0.706,0.13,-0.9436,0,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,0,1,0,6,20,19,2,1,18,0,19,7,1,7,2,55,51,33,0,9,14,0,4,2,0,2,2,2,1,2,19,14,4,0,10,0,0,1,1,10,1,4,9,8,38,8,40,36,8,49,0,3,2,0,15,20,1,8,29,188,57,5,0.0,0.0997840073540017,0.0821841654139891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20204619639545127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930385531999543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133822751933858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501801479694527,0.05431334278641583,0.0,0.0725364392956907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585266890132472,0.0,0.09473339125047556,0.0,0.0,0.0939248131729465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277487481065787,0.06016502367001057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716353920562238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735645597698993,0.0,0.0,0.08338860008822363,0.0,0.08965113178562754,0.07544236914785943,0.0,0.0,0.17903860255060003,0.0,0.0,0.1128984766591492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909693893574541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500104748269428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228886699716845,0.08440809458379202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864757526457638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697429337532475,0.0893414956085598,0.0,0.0,0.06722163277446441,0.0,0.06190957825264299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895663036592588,0.07903245133314167,0.0,0.0,0.1917644430605409,0.0,0.08968892597132203,0.1712039433893972,0.06405123018309387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079033270896356,0.1167716692715032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611696139044341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158076371578201,0.0,0.08315465551023474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697316389662515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483477276551344,0.0,0.0,0.11921920915663126,0.08976468656953443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640892844757694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707634573913165,0.0,0.0,0.09631009064501213,0.0,0.279751939689158,0.269815978640868,0.0,0.0668593154206416,0.049107921786198466,0.0,0.15965675133577747,0.0,0.0,0.05717817792738004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273691006989881,0.09275371638987716,0.0,0.1490210520323894,0.0,0.06755422647232179,0.0,0.07572167788116096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105398915885253,0.0,0.0,0.09207865358528183,0.0,0.054233331214122604
mentalhealth,Allison-Cloud,2019/03/01,Is it rude to kill yourself in someone else's apartment? Help everyone. I am not the sort to leave a note because I don't want anyone to feel any blame. But I am tired of being nothing but a failure. Would it be rude to slit my wrist in my friends bath tub or should I wait till I get home? I am going to do it very low mess. I have it all planned out. But he would still come home to a dead person in his home. So I'm not sure. What do you think? ,-0.8234454545454533,0.9948871100000041,1.1714545454545475,102.8557272727273,87.9,4.036363636363637,18.090909090909093,4.851557810540192,-0.9045,341,9,89,1,11,112,69,100,0.272,0.644,0.084,-0.9598,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,2,7,3,0,4,0,13,2,1,0,2,18,21,6,2,4,6,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,4,1,5,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,3,5,0,0,0,1,11,2,12,16,1,10,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,2,2,54,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341933126031724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797993057152594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029246003143645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998504041805867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16484653020851134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856028663626376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977757263427137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245910645702784,0.0,0.10309842913919724,0.0,0.11214897983249912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322682545478903,0.0,0.5938237336782508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183198992554422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20894731904876104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18934648483642424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17230369991484806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671997423109407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759051291251389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18598416374579613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644311810053574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268054334027716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628205197127916,0.11639220785782052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803596238484893,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,concondabonbon,2019/03/01,"I feel like I’m losing it Lately I’ve been really struggling. I always tend to get sick during the winter from the flu or a bad cold, even when I’ve been vaccinated. And the subsequent missing of different things always takes a huge toll on me mentally because I have so much to catch up on. Last week I disappeared from classes, work, and relationships for almost the whole week besides talking to and occasionally seeing my s/o. My roommates aren’t super worried because I’ve told them I’ve been sick. This week I did actually end up getting sick after having a weekend that felt like a great point to catch up. I’m absolutely terrified on how to even get close to approaching fixing this. I’ve been MIA for two weeks and last week I even touched base with my boss and professors about the situation, telling them I was ill and excited to come back after that. But now what do I say? I really feel like I won’t make it back. Like this somehow is culmination of my six year struggle with school and that I won’t end up with a degree because I can’t handle my mental health. I’m even more worried because I can’t afford to see someone and my school resource keep wanting to dump me off to a separate psychologist in the city that I inevitably won’t be able to pay for. I need help but I’m not sure what steps to take and I’m so fucking scared for the future. I know I’m good at fixing my messes but I feel like this is beyond repair. I need guidance and sole venting time. It’s nice to have it here, anonymously. But I still need some guidance. If anyone has advice, I’m here for it. Sorry this was so long.

TL;DR My mental health in combo with physical health has put me in a corner with school, work, and my relationships and I’m not sure how to fix it. ",3.3437720706260023,4.8629846292134875,4.715200642054576,83.90247191011237,73.49438202247191,7.557624398073836,25.63563402889245,8.192908349453996,1.5414184590690208,1392,46,281,22,28,463,176,356,0.123,0.7959999999999999,0.081,-0.8317,3,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,4,19,21,2,3,14,0,22,9,0,4,2,46,53,24,0,5,8,0,5,5,0,3,8,1,0,0,18,19,0,1,5,1,1,7,8,9,0,2,9,9,33,12,44,40,4,47,0,2,2,1,9,17,1,5,28,174,51,9,0.0833630468977047,0.0,0.08135030850807491,0.0,0.0,0.0814614046207892,0.0,0.0,0.08347604970087567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872946618668328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058289380678259575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820207474108314,0.06960466208278827,0.2032693585640548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180988343374539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709664108801997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766983217629487,0.0,0.0,0.2202420250412556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645258387233765,0.17866373208133382,0.08004159809328161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770677935626864,0.13066125396352507,0.0,0.0,0.06992096860482368,0.0,0.0919080535021279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658330618613316,0.0,0.0,0.05587649311791975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409690638331583,0.0,0.0,0.045814150442958806,0.13590401907856833,0.09403714793935182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20363486942036066,0.0,0.0,0.0737736732223676,0.0,0.09326192603695954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055645481128885774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520310322250096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128143134492475,0.18543792895594874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880502463633736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380288716024546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680900495096483,0.0,0.0,0.17900142923749338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629364084075655,0.08346095274571573,0.2531035620034309,0.13285911065480935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937035574877662,0.0,0.0,0.07063323911311302,0.0,0.0,0.09331810596880734,0.0,0.0,0.06657383693694457,0.0,0.0,0.1742983133509545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571373702799013,0.0,0.12535727321576112,0.06700405936028185,0.07286297736362067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538270416157709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860966303391643,0.0,0.0,0.07965696375564836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143358369458395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916968492233519,0.0,0.3343440391993264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307186479525356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137858198125145,0.169318441326423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368306903726864
mentalhealth,H4YWYR3,2019/03/02,"I might be different and dont know the best path to take. I have recently started taking a college psychology class, and have started to question whether I might have (sorry I dont know a better way to phrase this) a mental disorder. 

Some background. Since it happened a while ago i dont remember this part of my life, but rom what my parents have said, when I was in around 3rd grade my teacher suggested that I would be held back a year and that it would help to get me tested for any learning disabilities. My parents beileved that it only seemed that I wasnt doing well because I was missing homework assignments, so they declined having me held back a year. 

The years went by and it sure seemed like that was the case. I didnt have the best of grades, but It was rare for me not to do well on tests. 

I made very little to no friends throughout middle school and high school. Me and my parents beileved that because I used to be bullied in elementary and had a very introverted personality, that I just had a harder time getting along with others.

Now recently after hearing my professor lecture about asperger's I began noticing similarities between the traits that were brought up and my personality. 

(I want to make this clear, I dont see any mental disorder as a world ending thing for me. Though I haven't lived the happiest life, I'm content with what i have.) 

I wanted to make sure I wasn't drawing conclusions that weren't there and went to my professor after class. I told her the connections I saw and if there was a possibility that I might have asperger's or something similar. 

What leads me to think this is because i have a problem with looking people( even close friends and family)in there eyes when talking to them, i can't even look at my own eyes in the mirror without feeling uncomfortable, I dont like eating with others (eating in public is fine as long as I'm sitting alone), and feeling incredibly uncomfortable being touched by anyone. 

After I explained this to my professor she suggested that I should check with a professional to see if  I do in fact have some mental disorder. What stood out to her was my uncomfortably even with family (which for the most part am very comfortable with and love). 

I dont have a clear answer yet and plan to visit the colleges health services in about 3 days. However I dont really know how to approach this topic to my parents, I dont want them to worry about this. 

No top of that i dont know if i should check. I wont look at my self any different. but I'm afraid of being prevented from doing things just because I will be labeled. ",8.022678571428571,6.915960132936507,8.052558730158731,73.23688571428573,62.75,11.159238095238097,37.02507936507936,10.264317810270406,3.65011707936508,2073,85,390,39,25,674,227,504,0.108,0.792,0.1,-0.6274,7,1,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,3,7,23,17,0,1,23,0,57,8,2,6,5,80,102,31,0,11,12,4,3,2,2,9,3,2,1,3,33,25,2,3,15,0,2,6,20,3,2,0,24,13,61,14,61,63,8,49,0,1,8,1,27,18,0,13,25,288,94,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05131855310073615,0.0,0.0,0.059959573491455115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810744939168592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040480054112273185,0.0,0.0,0.051536945274758016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903211635529239,0.0,0.14116387133117994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215100307365246,0.05120155576391874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03733612408891485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097149440310563,0.19905079942597534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6106503134036932,0.0,0.0,0.11847775698201644,0.0,0.0,0.0512759161933954,0.0,0.0,0.11471312168348193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545762634770633,0.0,0.058544768397790124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945580496708687,0.0,0.060493290193121926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05119449060763116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061537433884542435,0.0652494935053801,0.0,0.038804383211796176,0.06116701583932033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726567120521834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178291928812652,0.05656708263058535,0.0580238838526714,0.05112048169294243,0.05123338504120418,0.14584633835843533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052250592672148315,0.05477965142656964,0.07728790599557388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750272468797327,0.1842456196876565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591143791411701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04403015088884852,0.0,0.0,0.2571328085889928,0.12538471447713087,0.0,0.04013563988443174,0.10109967540072512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652655338564725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05539567623154523,0.0,0.0,0.06485328516497901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03708766716838455,0.0,0.11432448740671484,0.0,0.06558135776851247,0.0,0.055069394840793366,0.0,0.0,0.1171813889790202,0.09226627433736112,0.10540702380325442,0.06039490926670054,0.0,0.0,0.047889596084723526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456877439433239,0.0,0.0648063495497231,0.08195376970919109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912672562265148,0.0,0.08705649543869097,0.04653211128828827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769229261061896,0.03709542570164544,0.05687946956994736,0.0,0.033757809177173366,0.0,0.0,0.05531913644865148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000086831137196,0.0,0.14330308954197404,0.10244017777402374,0.045952680649104856,0.0,0.0,0.10410531985517772,0.10733457633804996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580667914789891,0.0,0.0,0.058793039035116464,0.0,0.08225089472994286,0.0,0.0,0.11184336739841397
mentalhealth,cherryied,2019/03/02,"why do people take photos of their self harm and send it to others T/W: self harm

so many people that have been close to me have at one point done self harm and they would send me photos of it (out of no where) and continue to talk about their issues, i was aware of these issues and would try to work through them with the person (i always suggested profesional help but they refused), the photos just always baffled me.  

just last night a friend and i were having a seemingly normal conversation, joking around etc when he said ""give me a second im dealing with something"" i thought he was talking to his girlfriend but i was wrong because he sent me live photos of fresh cuts. i started panicking told him to get help and i cried.  i cried so much last night to the point of not being able to breathe. he was doing better and i guess i just want to know why people take photos and send them,  i know im repeating myself but if anyone could help me figure this out? 

im not saying im confused about the self harm itself i understand that to a certain extent,  but would were they compelled to send me the images?  i also dont mean to demean anyone or their experiences but self harming images from people i know and see everyday give me panic attacks and i know that sounds selfish so really hoping for a helping hand here...thank you",3.689813507151911,5.378474414448672,4.459304725692559,85.39785804816223,72.91634980988594,6.682527611805179,23.170197356509146,7.2636822038024595,0.8975741082744877,1053,28,202,11,21,338,138,263,0.162,0.6970000000000001,0.141,-0.8448,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,8,2,12,16,2,2,10,0,19,2,2,1,1,49,40,22,0,8,12,0,1,0,2,3,0,3,0,6,9,16,0,1,9,1,0,5,4,11,0,2,12,5,35,5,29,23,3,22,0,0,1,0,43,8,0,6,9,135,44,1,0.08529447032875939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820995710586553,0.14194366422216853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927975369816918,0.0,0.0,0.07593016207042752,0.0,0.0970347735085004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05199471743776048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543602762417775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810069408329639,0.0,0.18738394107273804,0.0,0.08793485364132697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728585675389777,0.09996448398523818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512588099155148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343435870718409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589829619391771,0.0,0.04456284034733875,0.16364445611139136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093961475250741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286843421243884,0.0,0.0,0.08471665457291579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685306582386176,0.1780505336482605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875024409983202,0.13905275483849025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753165799674313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647520541687623,0.0,0.09291068311882264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627012497991782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600861647953209,0.08357047119139058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057797740533009685,0.0,0.0,0.1000746832105208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365297846023356,0.07447584152998403,0.0,0.0,0.16126168813981534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05464182178233954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113457351982023,0.06782958627479138,0.0,0.0,0.06796864973972068,0.07764888235103201,0.4449036729283398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566385036987173,0.0,0.0,0.06037186510692539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826165331884384,0.1371129287062887,0.0,0.07852768860522681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771428195624522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150252161335389,0.0,0.057909346477149674,0.0,0.0,0.08879455168329567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030888850342681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539299855310366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209539025157557,0.0,0.0,0.1817722335109304,0.0932561135542266,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mintchocolatech1p,2019/03/02,"How to tell parents about suicidal thoughts... Hi all... I'm a student getting ready to wrap my time at undergrad but have been grappling with constant thoughts of suicide. Now, I would never ever kill myself but at least once a day I find myself so overwhelmed to the point of tears and think about how killing myself would justt easily end everything. Then I think about how silly that is and wipe it from my mind...anyway...This is the first time I'm actually acknowledging this as being a super serious problem and feel I should open up to my parents about it. Because of how my dad responded to me opening up a bit in the past, I've shied away from talking about my emotions with them. 

I really really hate making a scene and honestly there's this genuine fear that the first thing one of my parents will say if I tell them about how I've been feeling is 'what the hell is wrong with you?!'

  
ANYWAYS -- How have any of you approached your parents about thoughts of suicide? Did you talk to a therapist/counselor first? 

​

thanks :)  
",5.306424945612762,6.690441197969547,5.171968817984048,83.04488578680204,68.49238578680203,8.065119651921682,31.837926033357505,8.418075326091056,2.421093110949964,824,35,153,12,14,255,115,197,0.209,0.6579999999999999,0.133,-0.9759,4,0,0,0,0,4,31.0,0,4,2,4,18,13,4,2,11,0,14,0,0,7,3,35,27,16,5,5,3,5,2,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,8,9,0,0,9,0,0,1,1,9,0,4,6,3,22,4,31,16,3,23,1,1,0,0,18,9,1,1,13,112,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.10382855513648127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528158368815165,0.12928453751153066,0.07235390891650796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996389891755623,0.0,0.0,0.06485889294792971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615844969962755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114977836152484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861754789063156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968280126917975,0.0942365529602722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962425774350526,0.0,0.0,0.09562316010190826,0.0,0.0,0.11972670222290145,0.10759548687256502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724533421103937,0.27150482880855714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558827192403757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050454462017396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23542601041679664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102111856051604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743108567039353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206026627496317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133098030312308,0.07209766011999233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725670711182977,0.0,0.1015683972757366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057997314999174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180798247026752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363218512997178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461151616344942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491445968260935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710364668369152,0.18599210750026696,0.09795646942002388,0.0,0.12353563045858032,0.07068573258178802,0.13635036907121026,0.0,0.25340305212947445,0.12408240782471748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116337986070758,0.1163289000078482,0.12928453751153066,0.0
mentalhealth,ratsandfoxbats,2019/03/02,"I want to become less negative and bitter. Hi everyone. I'm a 26 year old woman and, for as long as I can remember, I've been an extremely bitter and negative person. Growing up I was bullied and was always poor, so I often watched other people get and experience things that simply weren't an option for me. While I love and appreciate my parents, I never got a car or went on any trips like other kids my age often did. They weren't able to give me any money for either of my graduations or my wedding. 

When I see people get things without working for them, or not have to work, I instantly resent them. All my life I had to work for what I had, and seeing people be able to relax and not work while getting things I want infuriates me to my core. The other day I was absolutely blind with rage over our roommate who doesn't have to work and sits at home everyday, while I was stressing about budgeting. 

I guess I feel like everyone has the upper hand, and I don't. I feel like everyone else had a break, some time to come up for air, and I haven't. I still don't have my license and I have practically no savings, because of bills and helping my husband pay rent. I wish I could have more self-confidence in myself and less bitterness towards the world. ",6.036190476190473,5.608207380952387,7.022857142857145,76.77214285714284,66.46031746031746,10.057142857142855,31.49206349206349,9.606745405546679,2.7363063492063486,988,34,195,18,14,333,142,252,0.152,0.7340000000000001,0.114,-0.9011,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,3,5,6,12,5,1,8,0,24,4,1,0,2,38,41,24,0,4,7,2,3,3,0,0,2,0,2,3,9,16,0,0,3,1,6,5,13,6,0,0,13,10,38,6,28,26,6,30,0,0,4,1,15,10,0,8,16,144,47,7,0.2370998625774621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864303966921388,0.0,0.0,0.16123603705340267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226693777293014,0.1309290851133338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021202686769442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465247363834717,0.0,0.0,0.0764548982901135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903325559680703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398386190762324,0.0,0.11596458074868825,0.0,0.0,0.1198848145729255,0.16938418920013154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18581233839117067,0.11372389647893713,0.0,0.0,0.09481520979392302,0.0,0.1305961147519699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946152001753462,0.0,0.11891524705316907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373532240721676,0.17375252471803426,0.0,0.0,0.1049129586417478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699594148641996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914330153813107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439821064258895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163566925764175,0.0,0.0,0.24656278658158146,0.10351322731730538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429396222217488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18893789305154626,0.0,0.12367343311345914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467412826436973,0.0,0.13579854575283368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362779199156117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912741828775251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398476419938026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989697400559156,0.0,0.0,0.13632657036452858,0.11427790329817325,0.0,0.43152880950531697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634226893776877
mentalhealth,thecraftycockney,2019/03/02,"substance abuse/ self medicating I dont know if anyone else on this sub will get what im saying, but I was diagnosed with depression last year and have took antidepressants for about 3 months now. at first they worked and helped to suppress my feelings, but recently I feel as if the only thing that can make me feel normal and take my mind off of depressing/borderline suicidal thoughts is drugs. i know its an unhealthy coping mechanism but i dont know what else to turn to. im constantly trying to distract myself from how i feel inside and i turn to drugs as an escape. i dont know how to get myself out of this hole i am in. ive got to the point where i dont actually enjoy taking drugs i just need them to feel normal. does anyone else feel this way or have a similar problem?",4.323527042577673,5.3237978544303814,5.321944764096664,82.49008630609899,70.45569620253164,8.78342922899885,26.38895281933257,9.095868883498916,1.948182278481012,623,19,126,12,11,205,99,158,0.163,0.8240000000000001,0.013,-0.9791,0,0,3,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,6,4,0,1,5,0,12,5,0,3,0,33,33,14,1,6,7,0,6,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,8,6,0,1,11,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,4,7,19,1,21,28,0,16,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,3,7,80,27,1,0.0,0.11850000126522378,0.09759904381259052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986395191264775,0.2049519189390558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807938965703924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614174130950518,0.10151190399000147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752275231306636,0.0,0.468861725401051,0.0,0.3479527749201363,0.0,0.2506460948184592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034199009176841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507168908522382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104506167495999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999017407847371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703714343466127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21606413772722935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21985988047605806,0.08152459748225617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675998960878829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075338376162493,0.0,0.0,0.10098542952270004,0.0,0.0798300627530869,0.0,0.0,0.07415896708365981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959845824901192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606500339086025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454537042561703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569970157560097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875156394765587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953498979381132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433620792623212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939886674324634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503958648122093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644472613633626,0.0,0.0,0.07939978732093174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111901426316054,0.06790280663613775,0.21757259428109116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938630095130003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281123918246962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440560955515781
mentalhealth,haylee345,2019/03/02,"I’m bipolar. How do I deal with pregnancy and medication? I’m planning on getting pregnant this year, and I’m terrified. I have depressive bipolar disorder and severe anxiety. I take five medications (Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Gabapentin, Latuda, and Trazedone). I also vape. I’ve tried cutting back, but there’s a huge difference when I skip even one of them. Only Latuda is semi-safe to take while pregnant, but the others could all harm the fetus. How do people with medical issues deal with pregnancy? 

I’ll be working 55 hours a week throughout most of the pregnancy and that can’t be changed. How much medicine can I justify taking to help me function? How worried should I be that my medicine will harm the baby? My OB said if I absolutely can’t manage, go ahead and take a couple of the medicines. But he said it grudgingly. I feel guilty that I have this illness and I can’t give my baby the best start in life. ",3.4239000340020382,5.966757075144511,4.2713090785447125,82.56484189051343,76.514450867052,7.307582454947298,29.82964977898673,8.313332769828598,2.4841937436246178,726,34,130,14,17,233,108,173,0.177,0.754,0.069,-0.9468,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,4,9,5,1,0,9,0,15,7,0,4,1,23,29,18,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,7,10,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,4,0,2,2,3,16,1,11,21,4,12,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,2,8,85,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636824723438828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113185329982318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189200896022004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527089549761065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393551495612134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618184121738745,0.1610095165393901,0.0,0.0,0.3000390331039731,0.12533180706271138,0.0,0.0,0.1520321440149489,0.16677273134435047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611124737685726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357672734632396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602555173810188,0.13959119265939138,0.08269949542218016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753559887767424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330290696690304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187979437985774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278150753220912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397729879579503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697022616817436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860469124024604,0.11067067120171904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088173934115513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768360664985435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439046625336445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102996225519686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4376365098993776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879509435221913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672330983860055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059366114788217,0.1477774879407271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370685230892424
mentalhealth,EveryHolyShroud,2019/03/02,"I think I have developed agoraphobia. I am 29/m. I have severe depression, anxiety and PTSD. I also have a mild form of autism.  
I've never been much of an outgoing person but I'm worried that I've developed agoraphobia, or mild agoraphobia, over the last few years. It's not that I never leave the house, although I do spend most of my time there, I can go shopping at a nearby grocery store and I can go to places I am familiar with but most of the time I forego outdoor activities in favor of staying at home by myself.  
The thought of travelling long distances fills me with such anxiety that I can barely take it. Last summer I went to a music festival 190 kilometers from where I live. My stomach was in knots the entire car ride and a few hours after we got there I had a severe panic attack and had to get a ride home.  
Could this be agoraphobia or is it just extreme social anxiety?",4.031421121251629,5.3129864576271215,5.720000000000002,78.30352020860495,71.42937853107344,9.061973055193397,28.304650152107786,9.466822959209583,2.5617747935680133,701,26,135,16,13,240,107,177,0.14800000000000002,0.7979999999999999,0.055,-0.9204,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,6,5,1,1,12,0,16,1,1,0,2,20,25,10,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,7,7,0,0,2,2,3,8,3,3,0,0,7,0,20,2,19,16,6,27,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,4,11,98,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226380142417903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35194868427591264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446355987315298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244156491552645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208451879959188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012170775433024,0.0,0.17431046936620154,0.0,0.1226520789020196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076553286317414,0.0,0.15102387776021733,0.17695119003470247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500097412724587,0.0,0.1623809031102953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541535867487733,0.135714433466314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127336402501333,0.0,0.23655380695085185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17992916203958625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13390375396436194,0.16022343453674887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926389973473142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464952136124805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15632620711429449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634561269598675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153039463283822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826375280965093,0.0,0.12174681567434233,0.17884517854361706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216170966792424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15573954322941175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875565337740308
mentalhealth,MentalHealth_Help24,2019/03/02,"Recently prescribed Gabapentin Hello! I have social anxiety disorder and Generalized anxiety disorder. I finally decided to see a psychiatrist for the first time ever! He prescribed me Gabapentin 200 mg morning and 300 mg at bedtime to start. Is this a good medication, and did it work well for you?",5.261764705882354,8.734100176470589,6.466176470588237,63.8427941176471,76.64705882352942,11.243137254901962,39.87254901960785,10.504223727775694,6.22933725490196,243,16,34,10,6,81,40,51,0.168,0.7340000000000001,0.098,-0.4421,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,6,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,4,2,5,4,0,7,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,6,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723560888825191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5578481884649327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201428792795788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26660088508914265,0.0,0.20701113216604292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041279336504094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24517054106166164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24029936722535736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19393506887665146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480859469215289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17225914980743304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191150764280913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188196339511714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717688716014432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatwasthatcat,2019/03/02,"Therapy does not work for everyone Don't get me wrong, psychotherapy may work for many people, and if in doubt you should try it. 

But I just think that in society, it is referred to as some ""magic"" solution. ""Oh you are depressed, go to a therapist, go to a shrink, you will be fixed."" This is simply not true. It will not work for everyone. 

Some people suffer depression or other psychological problems as a result of raw, concrete, literal, external circumstances in their lives that they have no control over. Repeating affirmations, brainwashing oneself, or pretending that everything is gonna be fine does NOT work for everyone. The fact is that in some people, until that raw, concrete, external circumstance is REMOVED, the mental health problems will stay.

This is how I feel. So I am tired of people telling me to see a ""mental health professional."" I already know what they do, they are not magicians, they went to school and studied modalities such as CBT. I already researched this stuff, I know what it entails, you don't need to be an expert at it to gauge whether it will work for you or not. CBT assumes that problems come from incorrect COGNITIVE thoughts. But I DON'T have incorrect cognitive thoughts. I am having negative external circumstances jammed into my throat by society. I CAN'T just think that it is good or pleasant. The problem is not in my mind, it is the raw, concrete situation that society is responsible for putting me in. 

For example, you can't tell someone with money issues ""just pretend you have money"" or ""it is not so bad being without money."" It might work for someone who is exaggerating their problems and making them bigger than they are, but some people have actual concrete problems and no amount of psychological mental restructuring is going to change that problem. The only way to get ""fixed"" is by fixing that raw problem.

The reason why there is the thought that ""mental health professionals can magically help everyone"" is because most of people's raw, concrete problems are caused by the inefficiencies of society. For example, someone lacking money is a political, economical, and social issue, not a psychological one. Yet, those who have an interest in maintaining the status quo do not want you to think like this, they want to medicalize every problem. ""Oh he has psychological issues."" Well no shit Einstein, but what is the ROOT of that psychological issue? It is not biologically, it is not psychological, it is societal. 

It is very dark when you don't see hope in terms of your raw concrete situation changing. I believe the majority of cases of planned suicide fit this profile: these people have no hope for the future and prefer to be dead rather than alive in their current circumstances. This causes suicide. 

So yes, it is a good idea to try therapy, but we have to note that it will not necessarily end up working for every single person.

Hope is the only thing keeping me alive. I have hope. But it is hard when sometimes you doubt yourself when thinking about whether your circumstance will actually change or not in the future.",7.4448702351986995,8.800672813868617,7.637542579075428,67.4176561232766,63.56204379562044,10.687429034874292,36.572587185725865,10.686352973137794,4.3306847526358485,2474,117,391,63,36,803,238,548,0.156,0.764,0.08,-0.9917,1,0,0,0,0,3,85.0,1,12,10,9,16,30,1,2,23,1,64,7,2,8,2,99,93,32,3,22,34,0,2,1,0,10,5,0,0,2,46,10,0,2,16,2,4,7,26,18,1,1,4,4,41,12,61,74,10,36,0,3,2,0,32,16,1,21,12,298,87,12,0.0,0.0,0.1066864670111108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064402908221313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045641348024991236,0.03332207663763976,0.0,0.0,0.061586517634397285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230798194820206,0.17347871779864651,0.04708736144046422,0.0,0.0,0.06130923791760728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416237786246227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095671974464211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841522106043628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211192326959704,0.2089314765187074,0.04912760801833563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027639271166023015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711835564920367,0.0,0.09319878153215187,0.0916975147021475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896733930915559,0.0,0.0,0.1743127389733034,0.0,0.0,0.03663947776626922,0.0,0.0,0.217170896989088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170790895487264,0.0,0.22821601193244376,0.0,0.04858701401055115,0.0,0.0,0.06008274509972668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026705596053849884,0.0,0.048268458286437936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0364879979907205,0.05541973423754228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506725339227007,0.22034991547352875,0.05798883809279087,0.055194079134956366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0405319452234648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037041084833835024,0.08314739733046618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652752432651768,0.04772965065317477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5230513874051602,0.0,0.054951444686715055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620270049561467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055321906196568287,0.08711871771569793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611081630445671,0.0,0.1228870753913612,0.0,0.055722076734958055,0.1389474276015998,0.0,0.05406313588222498,0.0,0.0,0.05826351842975109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257609305020813,0.11958496858091774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555579780086053,0.0,0.12502388089819555,0.06346799272267499,0.036315689201926696,0.1401034535513564,0.0,0.13018902327008808,0.0,0.06282711345087792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422522042386658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045102725762130966,0.06448334449638538,0.04338897004891764,0.0,0.0,0.049148630083425696,0.050673177844692656,0.04932488363684153,0.0,0.0,0.052693211709835486,0.0,0.2785673657518757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05976544379728859,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,winter_coffee,2019/03/02,"How do I help my autistic boyfriend with his chronic illnesses and depression? Hi everyone.  My boyfriend (21) is on the spectrum so he's sensitive to light, sound, and doesn't like going outside. He suffers from depression, anxiety, migraines (silent and 'normal debilitating') where he basically becomes unable to do anything except scream in pain. (Migraines are genetic- his father has them too.)

Within the last 6 months he has gotten some medication for the migraines. Some kind of triptan. He says they suppress the symptoms, but they make him really groggy and tired. (he tried one other kind before, that didn't work.)

He took some last night but this morning told me he felt like he was on some kind of drug; that is, he kept seeing shapes and patterns like you would with a kaleidoscope as he was sleeping and he also kept waking up every hour.

He's expressed a couple times his consideration of suicide because he hates living with these things. 

He  (within the last month or so) has recently started bi-weekly therapy, and has spoken to his doctors about possibly starting an anti-depressant. In therapy he said he doesn't feel like he's  made much progress. (As someone also dealing with depression, anxiety and going to therapy, I understand how tough it can be in the beginning.)

We used to go for walks and play Pokemon Go, but then winter came and we've been stuck in the house, which I think is contributing to his symptoms. 

His diet is pretty restricted, as well. (Sensory issues and not liking most food).

I feel helpless here because I completely sympathize with him. We live together so luckily I see him every day. But I work, so I worry when he's home alone and having a depressive episode. (I lost my BIL to sudden suicide so my anxiety over depression has very much heightened).

He has said that he wouldn't hurt himself (as in cutting or something) but that if he ever did something like that it would definitely be fatal. Which obviously worries me even more. He has told me that he would tell me if he felt like taking his own life or hurting himself, but I can't completely trust that, because I know how it is with depression. I mean, just the other day I was having my own episode for some reason and was angry that I couldn't hurt myself and that people loved me. But, the thought of me hurting my BF by hurting myself stopped me from doing anything.

He plays video games all day or watches YouTube videos. But he also watches a lot of educational stuff so he is pretty well-read and intelligent. He doesn't shower often enough (maybe once every week unless I shower with him). I also help him groom otherwise he won't do it (except brush his hair). It's hard to know what's personal preference and what's because of depression. (He isn't active at all save for walking around the house so there is no need for him to shower or do his laundry often. I do our laundry.)

When he is feeling especially depressed he says he doesn't know what he needs or wants from me to help, so it's especially tough. 

I love him with all my heart and soul and just want to help him. I don't want to force him to do anything that makes him uncomfortable but I know sometimes its necessary for growth and healing. (Like getting up and going outside).

​

Please help me help him. :'(

​

​",5.1680511324639635,6.926688779032258,5.541777625257378,78.82628345916265,69.2741935483871,8.30885380919698,31.09471516815374,8.841846274778883,2.6881170212765952,2633,111,461,47,47,840,283,620,0.21,0.672,0.118,-0.9964,3,1,3,0,0,5,102.0,3,1,3,4,30,41,2,0,15,0,48,22,4,8,5,109,96,60,3,14,23,1,7,8,1,5,14,6,4,1,28,32,2,5,16,5,0,10,13,23,1,1,22,19,67,18,59,66,16,49,1,16,4,2,86,16,0,17,31,302,95,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391297889261321,0.0,0.16651252559752716,0.0,0.16920376399797166,0.189756504671754,0.0,0.0,0.1194651280474235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850976868122413,0.04633972660235415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269282680364973,0.05749033555723604,0.044294722730228366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953671873224355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915674248475923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759754460813076,0.0,0.10071294137329953,0.05366611851529497,0.4035117956342353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05328019966466717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036693532103026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378642874704473,0.0,0.03438164387492791,0.04708646382157235,0.13157501046446807,0.04974050451073948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896127371601798,0.03718789399153225,0.09996136642161084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294475986956281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02719643659399353,0.0,0.1479194515649519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046630794026248666,0.05139324750043185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168507993761545,0.20934704213697414,0.0,0.05221511667969403,0.0,0.05126340202680962,0.12012828869715135,0.2786282091387412,0.0,0.0,0.05433159119962612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626209048172254,0.11443162527530315,0.12729460467652734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0367677798941099,0.203450408620006,0.0,0.09193052218373747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05682386322493956,0.04425505148005246,0.09396281313647148,0.04925542359847241,0.06949384396784387,0.0,0.05229595108895653,0.05670283767036824,0.0,0.05243964215237795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830991430258687,0.0,0.07653240014488147,0.0771958132038101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884981743193066,0.05100256184685829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543656542926646,0.03527361751248784,0.0,0.0553898797327068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03608818041774869,0.045452163420626315,0.0,0.057140437948666474,0.0,0.05868386221460669,0.0,0.1059167046389373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206879501672563,0.0,0.03334757905691794,0.05352090980446505,0.05139774449317437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990318959524882,0.08279198668400599,0.0,0.0,0.08296172589618421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05209230156116073,0.0,0.04410578539613008,0.08014851518360824,0.05148343751782663,0.0,0.07368918088003694,0.0,0.0,0.0435200669720956,0.0,0.0,0.05959018699319125,0.11387880406010885,0.0,0.0,0.10820954657574046,0.0391386623332127,0.0,0.045498109435084914,0.0,0.17858728657029427,0.0,0.03458283515068748,0.033354555184591565,0.0,0.0413256238017333,0.03035351900708867,0.0598292296033302,0.0,0.09948100902147897,0.05783469623284782,0.035341729956839624,0.0,0.0,0.05419078712048585,0.0,0.04495855458790906,0.0,0.04295058593561506,0.09210964689189384,0.0,0.08351029417062714,0.0,0.09360686851384634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579289518322235,0.10572816609459494,0.0,0.11093451370461907,0.0,0.189756504671754,0.0
mentalhealth,glassbirdinacupboard,2019/03/02,"Completely overwhelmed *maybe SH trigger warning* Throwaway, because, yeah.

TL;DR - Lost all trust in anyone who can help me and can't bring myself to try again. Having very extreme thoughts of self harm. Scared.

I am completely overwhelmed by my thoughts at the moment. I have a long history of mental illness (depression, anxiety, phobias, ED, OCD) and I'd been doing just fine for a year or so after a huge breakdown, until late last year. I'm fairly sure I suffer seasonal depression too, so this all started at the beginning of this winter and has snowballed into me pretty much losing it.
I considered getting help a couple of months ago and I mentioned feeling depressed in an unrelated consultation because I was asked about it. I was then prescribed medication after refusing any referrals, but I haven't taken any of it. I've lost all trust in the professionals I have access to, because I was let down over and over by them last time and I just can't bring myself to speak to anyone there, since it seems like such a waste of emotional energy that I just don't have right now.

I'm 99% sure that I am autistic. For some reason I'm terrified of making an appointment to discuss that, even though I know it would be very relevant to therapy to have a diagnosis.

I'm a maladaptive daydreamer. Currently daydreaming most of my days away (somehow still fully functioning/working), except they usually have very traumatic themes, sometimes including specific traumas from my history.
I've become quite obsessed with thinking about every trauma that has ever happened to me such as sexual assault/abuse, emotional abuse and the circumstances surrounding it. I can't explain where this has suddenly come from or why.

I have self harmed during this episode but not recently. The thoughts of SH have increased dramatically and the methods I think about now scare me. Like really scare me. I am NOT suicidal and my current life situation is almost perfect. There shouldn't be any reason for me to be feeling like I want to destroy myself and having these almost constant, very dark thoughts.

Obviously I know anyone reading this will be wondering why I don't just try taking the medication I have. I know from past experience that any antidepressant will absolutely make me feel 100 times worse for the first few weeks. They make me lose any SH inhibitions for a while before things improve again, so with these thoughts I'm already having, I'm sure that would be the final straw for me to act on them. I kind of regret not taking them initially, but what's done is done. 

I'm not sure why I'm writing this post tbh, maybe I'm at that point where I just have to get everything out, and this was the only way I could think of. I might end up deleting it if the paranoia of being identified becomes too much.

I'm in the UK if that makes any difference to any replies.",6.145124426313107,7.61672125849057,6.427429882712902,74.49430137684857,66.60377358490565,9.72972972972973,33.38092809790923,9.966358637471284,3.5266119326874046,2297,101,389,53,37,738,267,530,0.156,0.727,0.117,-0.9843,2,0,1,0,2,0,60.0,0,0,5,7,28,32,1,6,22,1,49,4,0,7,10,81,95,26,1,8,17,0,3,3,0,6,4,1,0,2,27,16,0,1,19,1,0,5,11,20,0,1,15,4,48,12,61,66,9,66,0,11,0,0,18,21,0,12,41,265,75,3,0.0,0.15549487824149624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816702557882648,0.0,0.1314153152418625,0.0,0.072411876168699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123608019781525,0.0,0.05019813213720279,0.0,0.0,0.1376463793723229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613446342564678,0.0,0.061650936353462214,0.0,0.0,0.12000166633316182,0.14494141552848752,0.05583668759916552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652470680358546,0.1375999341182158,0.07091051204937221,0.0,0.05239119902403465,0.07260585249286232,0.0,0.04231863826384842,0.0,0.16955189156225212,0.0,0.0,0.06855758379861038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430144155604126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762442928993044,0.058118698766591086,0.0,0.0,0.04334053787585848,0.05935587827396676,0.05528659173769373,0.0,0.05897386377677906,0.06418768782479921,0.0,0.0,0.09953637140400637,0.04687801822177395,0.0,0.07188208737374717,0.0,0.05581523964079228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856613340410453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058026406918053934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796567379522457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833178687127868,0.10818697778417494,0.10697601032777908,0.0740207609558574,0.0,0.0,0.06709957489857407,0.046348434150175984,0.09617395883611683,0.0,0.0,0.05807049182255378,0.0,0.14682109963430304,0.143261142795387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17520398894153527,0.0,0.13184562420401227,0.0,0.0,0.13220789006886116,0.06612822414186466,0.0696110797208279,0.0,0.0,0.0523762268154724,0.0,0.09647460136798207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04990598444901408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264048185169245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062030889053428566,0.0,0.0628445837323803,0.06675781655160319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697935732961382,0.06563646551578506,0.0,0.042037024711273116,0.13493392154075334,0.06479055800948934,0.0,0.0,0.05603801823534369,0.0,0.0,0.19708732243739668,0.0,0.0,0.05973680744385526,0.13690924704175586,0.0,0.0,0.054280473476167115,0.07375817728956098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489858023769192,0.0,0.04644525937430797,0.0,0.05240318510087059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177621638131987,0.0,0.2473794235065951,0.0,0.0986742043768317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504071150973396,0.0,0.043594153966440716,0.1261374558676392,0.06447004760424065,0.260469622996794,0.07652559284122216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891015910329844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226973649857038,0.21656922552098207,0.0387036141957251,0.05208507623909967,0.05263536962765045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17763203333564945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116068989440039,0.04777120105657408,0.0,0.06687106957958468,0.09322729517035667,0.0,0.0,0.08451259332423011
mentalhealth,tressagracefull,2019/03/02,"My heart is to heavy. I've been through so much shit in my life. there's absolutely no reason why at this point I shouldn't be more happy. Yet here I am. I have been planning my death in my head for about a year. I'm so scared of life right now. Lately it's been these super invasive thoughts and I find myself going farther in my imaginary suicide. These thoughts and this anxiety seem to be completely out of my control. Most people don't understand how much pain I'm in. Physically and mentally. I can easily articulate my feelings.  However, understanding and knowing how to deal with them is a different ball game. 

Sorry for Grammer/fomat. Stream of consciousness. 
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mentalhealth,helpful_straw,2019/03/02,"Meds seem unnatural to me and it causes me Anxiety I keep going on and off from meds and it tires me. I wish I could just take them frequently as they do help me, but whenever I do, whenever I feel good, I get so many doubts in my mind.
I'm ashamed of myself for not being able to fix my mental health without any outside help.
I'm scared taking these meds will prevent me from ever facing the trauma.
I worry that to actually be the person I always wanted or at least have a chance at that I should avoid these meds at all cost or I wont even get a chance to be myself.
I still have a choice whether I go buy my prescriptions again or just keep on suffering untill this shit feeling miraculously disappears.
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mentalhealth,RaikuFA,2019/03/02,"What’s the point of a therapist? What’s the difference between a therapist and doing something like a journal or a locked twitter account and just venting your frustrations on that? It seems there’s no difference.

Every one I get they start cancelling appointments on me so I’m guessing it’s supposed to be a one time thing?",4.114808743169398,6.8325867377049185,4.624180327868854,80.01747267759565,75.0655737704918,8.001092896174864,34.756830601092894,8.841846274778883,3.558801092896174,265,15,44,6,6,84,45,61,0.135,0.821,0.045,-0.6174,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,5,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,3,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4976879115637146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20067414029814626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244374941732541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623784848068532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636110373182824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32278938886054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251539648489414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21682712030480505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18336005815846315,0.0,0.0,0.16858269252848804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.553083007019381,0.15823401469105364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888274780147294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,winedrunkduck,2019/03/02,"I haven't eaten more than 3 chips in the past 72 hrs, and haven't drank anything besides 1 coffee all day, and haven't left my bed. I need to be better. I've been depressed for the past few days. Majorly depressed. I have no motivation. I need to get up and feed/water my hamster and my plants, and myself. I can take care of them probably but not myself right now. My bf made me coffee before he left for a weekend trip, and my body is just running on that. 
When depression hits me I just fall apart. I don't eat, I don't brush my teeth, I barely drink water. Maybe posting here will give me a sense of responsibility to do something, even just a little
I feel numb. Will try to comment back if I am able to do anything for myself tonight. ",1.7352661064425767,3.5893424379084986,3.3257376283846867,90.68367647058822,78.86928104575163,5.678618113912232,22.039682539682538,6.5431188927421005,0.3541525676937445,575,17,125,5,14,190,98,153,0.097,0.862,0.041,-0.8408,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,2,8,6,0,0,5,0,15,8,2,2,1,18,26,9,0,3,6,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,6,5,0,2,2,0,3,7,4,0,0,4,2,24,2,14,18,4,21,0,3,0,0,5,8,0,1,9,80,25,1,0.16176439007464335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662366196242631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438683084750687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764958144321607,0.0,0.0,0.14306745737729878,0.0,0.17968377020161433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492957671254704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086492983281,0.0,0.41798229640682266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846751792665772,0.0,0.16552535557061462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684385400800407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179293609782315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451521723501876,0.15517914309053546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515149662646348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16213041588488744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306537718794924,0.0,0.0,0.16251407244179972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23989249106240804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088448286970269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492556988399467,0.0,0.1744093724196957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814590525813444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453413057251167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162668950939197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982740236724048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stonerchar,2019/03/02,"tell me about your problems if you’re going through anything and want to talk about it feel free to post it here, i might not have good advice but i can offer encouragement to those who may need it ",7.174499999999997,5.945243450000002,6.370000000000001,85.01500000000003,64.5,9.0,30.0,7.1686216300943375,1.4702500000000005,158,4,34,1,2,48,34,40,0.083,0.752,0.165,0.5341,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,10,8,3,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,4,6,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,0,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416629977824419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28772294881410226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678788740213106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870779269771227,0.29326044465576784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709115235980308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592527467643164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348573301196308,0.0,0.0,0.33455712065151805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28102643075202105,0.3055997301948765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20622602849516666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,notAtthwowaway,2019/03/02,"I think a friend i met online might be suicidal This is hard to write so I hope it makes sense. 
 I met this girl almost a year ago, in csgo of all games. Anyway we talked every now and then and I got to know her pretty well. At this point she had a boyfriend and everything seemed ok.  

 After the summer she seemed different, and later on in the year she started talking about how she feels sad all the time - about how all her friends left her and eventually tells me her boyfriend left her.   

At this point a past crush/other boyfriend (not too sure) came back in her life, but she said he pretended to care about her and then just ""exposed"" her and then left.

  It's been a few months and I knew she wasn't exactly feeling good, even after all this time, and I don't think all this was caused by her breakups/friends. But hey ive never met her or anything so I'm just going off what she says.   

Anyway we talk every now and then like we always have, and she talks about how she takes long walks through forests and bridges thinking about stuff (whenever I asked her what the stuff was she says I don't want to talk about it and it upsets her to think about it).   

After I talk about how I wish I could help. She says how it would be easier for her once she dies and she doesn't have feelings anymore and similar.   

I've told her that I think she needs to get help but she always says she doesn't need it.  

 What do I do? What German authorities do I call, if there is any?? Can they actually help or do they need evidence or something?? 

 PS I'm British and can't travel to Germany. Hope I did this ok - it's 1am sorry. ",1.0604776247848555,3.2357586536144614,2.0064165232358038,97.57266265060244,82.94578313253012,5.240068846815835,18.82306368330465,6.474141703775902,-0.2151632702237518,1251,31,288,12,35,391,162,332,0.05,0.816,0.134,0.9836,1,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,3,0,2,0,26,13,0,1,9,2,26,1,0,7,8,69,61,34,2,10,10,0,4,1,2,2,1,5,0,1,22,20,0,0,12,3,0,4,8,2,1,0,14,9,53,11,29,42,6,38,0,1,0,0,63,12,0,10,23,191,75,0,0.0,0.0,0.0851086330403439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731026656682373,0.0,0.08733258191570514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451386656805763,0.0,0.0,0.05930875446465578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649320840104846,0.0,0.0,0.0717699858725654,0.0,0.0815336520927105,0.0,0.0,0.06706245823927355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905561114361782,0.09974999191488662,0.08892085098836602,0.08959317044527912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963356853815163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051473471626588,0.0911204419669907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057604261228578674,0.0,0.14696371706405853,0.0,0.07838264177492985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132294600416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20214479101874971,0.0,0.04556590265857858,0.0,0.04956592977189893,0.07315126602405761,0.06975328964851822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812693453970884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537383823992347,0.0,0.0,0.1732470733796228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04793073056038692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842759669771852,0.0,0.061602080619527384,0.042608530179072464,0.0,0.0,0.07718196276658854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058216261506637425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252065196162633,0.0,0.0,0.06961366885403468,0.0,0.0,0.1940050251402136,0.0672650898436208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288044539753278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325597366614271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489151784454648,0.0,0.0,0.08872835668774938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296082678828158,0.27742543352072274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879335281041346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714187405515604,0.0,0.09762933395797513,0.061730771812063816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967914918220808,0.09539835269860827,0.0,0.08219850071465477,0.0,0.06557434360558898,0.420597586282658,0.07622919342772662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794171967177768,0.0,0.0,0.10171078756161596,0.0,0.0,0.08333705700347174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051441288269349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841618228430512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002922080760458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06195457795204697,0.0,0.0,0.11232637483406303
mentalhealth,XX123--,2019/03/02,"I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, and I hope there’s anyone here who could give some clarification, i don’t care too much about a label, I’ll answer any questions and edit if more personal/background info is needed I’m gonna try and keep it simple with some explanation, I’m 19 M, never thought of anything being wrong with me until I was like 14 maybe? Eventually I thought I’d grow out of it and that maybe it was a phase, but it’s only gotten worse and idk if I see this going away even within the next few years, I’ll just list some basic thoughts and small behavior and that I have some up until this point, which includes violent thoughts, abnormal behavior, 

I’ve been having some of the worst darkest thoughts you could probably imagine, I’ve lacked empathy ever since I was a kid, which is pretty normal, I’ve kinda always thought I wasn’t normal especially compared to the other kids, had extreme anger issues I eventually managed to control by the time I was in middle school, the first serious violent thought I had was back in elementary school 4th or 5th grade, not gonna go too in detail about it but I planned out how I was gonna go around and stab everyone in my class and threatened that if they told anyone I’d kill their parents, the only thing stopping me was how risky it was and the chances of me getting caught, Around the same age still in elementary school  I had picked up a knife and was gonna stab my mother idk why I just knew how easy it would be to do it and therefore wanted too I guess, I’ve had quite a lot of similar instances even as a teenager, some other actions would include manipulation, I guess it could be considered stalking as I would see how stealthy I could be and follow random people around the school hallways and even random strangers walking down the street and even my own family around the house just to see if they would notice and if I could get away with it, some minor delinquent behavior, and I still have this weird obsessive attraction to like bloody massacres, you know like a room and hallway just filled with bloody everywhere and a body somewhere in there as well, 

As of now, I know for a fact I’m more likely than ever to actually hurt someone, if I actually would I’d probably admit myself into some hospital, why am I so attracted to wanting to hurt people?? Why do I feel satisfaction over just the thought of killing people?? Why do I strongly want power and control?? Why do I have symptoms of depression over how badly I want to experience creating a massacre but simply can’t do it for legal reasons?? ",12.653211858448556,7.313995699203192,11.581450667916567,64.62440004687136,58.143426294820706,14.520928052495899,45.26646355753457,11.20814326018867,4.899588563393486,2059,79,386,34,17,666,241,502,0.187,0.715,0.098,-0.9958,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,2,3,7,34,26,5,1,22,0,43,2,1,11,5,119,87,42,2,25,17,2,1,4,0,9,1,0,1,2,24,32,0,4,19,0,0,9,6,15,1,1,27,4,41,11,55,42,17,50,0,3,3,0,14,26,0,23,19,264,65,9,0.0,0.0,0.1262586919530132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05382831748674858,0.0,0.0,0.043992280762635616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046727780335066,0.0,0.05323540170984122,0.23035577632264145,0.0,0.0,0.12155915203927604,0.0497435921243768,0.054014506825945344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185741541431435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595705941968287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511351628706595,0.2582535685739405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571849454374425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709118902236954,0.11703391153968568,0.0,0.06181527908857555,0.0,0.06328047362176174,0.060985170323072525,0.0,0.03270984897825202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055026359719049664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759703524557058,0.06205775922990819,0.11029661565827892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252945065314834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425302606854817,0.0,0.07464503793527152,0.13850668125927482,0.0,0.0,0.06752087672544907,0.0,0.05750057159767075,0.14314260700184372,0.0,0.0711052584059023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641954392335375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05499820287765817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129982148092944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047555525630554735,0.04796775570131953,0.049893894158373135,0.0,0.06879989768174671,0.0,0.12676741524063845,0.0,0.07365143766429459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840124919638407,0.0,0.0,0.07183199768723672,0.0,0.0,0.13454634002598526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061154158554428274,0.0,0.0,0.06581427673280346,0.13949625736425406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246902572322925,0.06880712678091523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651339806823164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618840686513154,0.15465169554629107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351328559085819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481270165030072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332506076627204,0.0540847969335081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06097075472832195,0.06723899754759613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04297800409427665,0.0,0.0,0.4108611271945696,0.03772199874527719,0.0,0.0,0.06181527908857555,0.0,0.04392112468990785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15262634440826034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058165219258498664,0.0,0.29186903752626925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592592906820663,0.2297741043795889,0.14145949283429024,0.0,0.04165905576127014
mentalhealth,fakeaccent_69,2019/03/02,"I (49M) am nearing the end of my rope and I don't know how much more I can take. I don't know where to begin. A year ago, I decided to go to university to go for a degree in political science, after finally realizing I should have done it 30 years ago. So, I'm in open studies now until I get accepted into the program.  3 weeks after I started, one of my cousins died. In the next semester, a friend of mine who lost  her husband a year ago,  subsequently lost custody of adopted twin girls, and her teen aged son took his own life.

This semester, my brother had a stroke, and my mother decided to get out of a very long term abusive relationship with a psychopathic abuser. He is my brothers father, and he also assaulted my brother AFTER his stroke, and my brother is now homeless and living in a camper. We have just experienced the coldest month on record here (there's no room for him at my place as we're already full up).

I haven't been a relationship for 15 years, haven't had sex in 8, and have no prospects, given that I'm broke, don't own my own home or vehicle, and don't have a job.  I'm by no means ugly, just not someone women see as ""suitable for breeding"" scientifically speaking. I've suffered so much personal loss that I no longer even want to be close to anybody, lest I develop an attachment, nor do I want to set myself up for the inevitable rejection that would be sure to come.

I have to keep my shit together for my family's sake. I have begun meditating, in the hopes of gaining control of my emotions. My hope is to become as ""Vulcan"" as possible, so that I can gain control of the hurt and loneliness I feel.

We weren't born guaranteed happy lives, but God damn, some days, I wish I hadn't been born.

​",5.608667621776505,5.365993154727796,6.869941260744988,76.8888660458453,67.30945558739255,10.074555873925503,33.4958452722063,9.766711354998122,3.053499598853868,1357,56,274,27,20,463,197,349,0.123,0.8029999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9229,1,0,0,1,1,0,52.0,2,0,0,7,13,16,3,0,18,0,30,5,1,3,1,43,56,22,1,7,5,9,3,0,1,2,3,1,2,3,7,17,0,3,8,0,0,4,14,10,0,1,11,6,40,6,48,41,9,51,0,7,1,1,26,19,2,4,27,182,47,2,0.0,0.2563000777323695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876277343520013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935550354244055,0.08649424761687029,0.0,0.11718960046942666,0.13142431612351316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945247485546236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316889991102094,0.0,0.0,0.24261772485972655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975323174122322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122513616368956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068361318281912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166366227009492,0.09579625502807257,0.0,0.0,0.07143761487303342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019621304241358,0.0,0.054688145823092414,0.0,0.0,0.11848225992912355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356292527321409,0.0,0.11301661842512215,0.0,0.12293784266473805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513664691744692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108491711725122,0.21485142664816406,0.0,0.0,0.11578582321208535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733054052250736,0.09613617129615458,0.0,0.0,0.11888207564260225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639548909781126,0.0,0.0,0.19101172889606235,0.0957167961825869,0.0,0.0,0.2361353791824575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781622468196745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633101717527426,0.0,0.159017763861077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502770433256422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732909430451448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443975853512583,0.11300252622750435,0.0,0.0,0.12193236493867385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23224332706158626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618825564788672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102306156622203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164227639211472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655508478837117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193802874918248,0.0,0.0813216696844636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016798181060567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924202192894792,0.12758927418151764,0.0,0.08675815872267538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437684265878868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768326367696542,0.0,0.13142431612351316,0.27860189973233274
mentalhealth,Orin_Mhando98,2019/03/02,"Being with societal rejects is what keeps me genuinely happy. Ever since my discharge from my local hospital psych unit, I've had the feeling of being surrounded with people who were like me(people with emotional problems) because when you are surrounded with people with similar experiences, you tend to have empathy and solidarity with them.",11.78976190476191,12.4334075,11.075714285714293,48.90261904761907,54.35714285714286,14.609523809523811,47.23809523809525,13.5591,7.48017380952381,284,16,33,10,3,92,46,56,0.05,0.769,0.181,0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,11,10,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,6,2,9,6,0,5,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779712962501368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328085441548079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26382895602925444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28530570452658754,0.0,0.0,0.14747529488289346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104843051528041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592464966114489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249346986784675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6066142703360953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790853533479106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24126945917455705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,doja_beef,2019/03/02,"I worry about things I can fix, but I dont have the motivation to fix them? I'm currently nearing the end of my first year of university doing Fine Art, at the start I was doing great and getting my work done and more, but my mental health has just plunged. I worry about anything and everything, even made up situations. I'm atleast 4 weeks behind on my work and I'm constantly worrying about it, but I dont have the motivation to do the work? Is this normal or am I just lazy? I'll sit down and try to do it but it honestly feels like I cant make anything come out of my brain. Does anyone else feel this?",3.2787839020122505,4.140326362204725,4.872388451443573,85.26340332458443,72.77952755905513,8.479090113735781,25.922134733158355,8.841846274778883,1.658236045494314,476,15,106,9,9,161,76,127,0.136,0.752,0.112,-0.2773,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,6,6,4,0,0,5,0,15,2,1,4,0,21,25,10,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,2,14,4,16,22,1,15,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,8,71,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584074771121174,0.15509546276016326,0.2491276341451993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689779021033428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039101920870688,0.0,0.1635761503524055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246406125208945,0.15490307545106982,0.3548067597904659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644940421841486,0.0,0.1340680349496113,0.0,0.0,0.0999778190150344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604072695591393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307346291128415,0.10813806775966706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875442254712374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790840724643462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688489378607207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608982042490525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395126381078397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322903942437668,0.10104000524452383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254438336640086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830951411682575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17014513574004606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713978098590717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056285983008288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027696376053671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141910821448106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33059537749936474,0.4611678033654988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747669472934198
mentalhealth,Calpsotoma,2019/03/02,"Exhausted from asking for help A couple weeks ago, I was sent into a major depressive episode. The details aren't important (it's not a good idea to ruminate), but I'm still in it. I was reaching out to people for help. Many of those people aren't responding anymore. I say that I'm fine because I don't want to be a burden to people anymore. Everyone thinks I should be over it. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. ",1.6023275862068969,3.443487206896556,3.84205459770115,86.88653017241379,79.22988505747126,7.108620689655173,24.66810344827586,8.07648339933343,1.5108862068965516,325,12,68,6,8,112,55,87,0.173,0.7070000000000001,0.119,-0.3468,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,0,0,9,19,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,4,1,6,2,13,12,1,8,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,43,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19368029041558465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333714127763616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20426085845028025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319091217333526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417576359931241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881871459617403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20877880933007992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832610218147545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29290164105388666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466512748105475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007768472435468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215169551337094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544252664473828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375389103890726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744882776459655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000107931494607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887245244132725,0.0,0.17526138863332014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,felines234,2019/03/02,"Just glad to have a roof over my head and my two cats A few months ago, I became homeless with 2 cats.  By mid December, I had a place of my own with my cats and my stuff.  While I do like my new place, part of me feels sad, like I'm missing something.  Could it be that I was so comfortable in my old hometown that now, it's taking me longer than expected to adjust?",3.104050632911396,3.0921330759493704,4.313772151898736,92.27648101265824,72.67088607594937,7.838987341772152,24.66075949367089,7.554174236665415,0.7947346835443039,279,7,69,3,5,92,56,79,0.066,0.782,0.152,0.787,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,0,6,1,1,0,0,9,10,4,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,13,4,10,6,3,11,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,8,47,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264777713670491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039891480806619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12918416314178344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262207955988691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496404522895037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039308526393208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24675525236163834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26809531791739416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766723629418445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5338684120258996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966898146480363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29247660565344363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19209778801906227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495780403785608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_MAKEOUTHILL_17,2019/03/02,"A table with other voices? All the time I’m in moments of distress, anger or where there’s a great deal of emotion my voice in my head isn’t saying “I need to calm down or I fucking hate this” it more feels like I’m sitting at a table with other voices telling me what we could said and how I should act. I usually don’t ever give into them to be honest I don’t know if I’m making this up or if they’re real. But it feels like that or in my head it’s like I’m sitting across from someone telling me we have to indulge in these acts of self destruction and become the worst possible version of ourselves. I’ll never understand it sometimes I wanna get better other times I don’t I’m always contradicting myself also. I just need some advice or help I think. I’m on medication for mood swings and I should be going back to therapy soon and I’m already talking to my school counselor. ",1.3109615931721201,3.472153200000001,3.3241251778093925,88.57264580369845,81.86486486486487,5.408250355618777,22.16927453769559,6.5966054737557815,0.5877027027027029,702,23,142,7,19,237,112,185,0.113,0.7609999999999999,0.126,0.1134,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,1,1,8,14,4,1,5,0,10,4,2,2,3,36,31,14,0,8,9,0,2,3,0,2,1,5,0,1,12,9,0,0,5,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,1,7,20,7,24,25,5,24,0,0,0,1,12,11,1,8,11,96,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442932704718001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16294831962554354,0.11808498048381233,0.12286633455479942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135427060936052,0.0,0.0,0.16308070826318324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305947434617482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789582449493445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522326932410586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609949887524253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356843015789752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932434954104806,0.21097904655357086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651083028793756,0.07714712566893307,0.14165052454296312,0.08391952731984971,0.0,0.0,0.1627975074116852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578532410845513,0.3030869382149136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989745017534607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115098962600667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164200931290826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856530827624192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487535931106822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21897850778234335,0.11388577942109325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646634118267134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807130249507915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046005799095476,0.1174264830434124,0.0,0.14944148868021848,0.0,0.0,0.1540433208406217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511324992604833,0.0,0.1460411627946003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868485333623055,0.2581256080484145,0.0,0.1688639832439799,0.0,0.0,0.09461563288130748,0.0,0.0,0.172205409134474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15372100126550556,0.0,0.0,0.1626284629718418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Infinitenotions,2019/03/02,Has anyone else been banned from a subreddit because of an opinion about a counseling site? I just found out I got banned from a subreddit about mental health because I said I didn't like a specific company because of how they treated me. Has that happened to anyone else?,7.387647058823532,7.822830901960787,7.2360784313725475,73.46235294117648,63.50980392156863,10.72156862745098,38.568627450980394,10.504223727775694,4.289556862745099,220,11,37,5,3,70,35,51,0.17800000000000002,0.8220000000000001,0.0,-0.8161,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,1,0,7,8,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,6,2,8,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277681786404286,0.4803004366805709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4286279935643445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915891734242422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569857977644016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18745526140435956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072616417007243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24913519836954595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450632942217433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362001203650609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22294924798933088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CelineDionn,2019/03/02,"I don't deserve love How can I change my mind set? I'm 23, never had a relationship because I feel like.. why would anyone love me? I am average in every way, I have nothing to give.

I always lied to myself about it, I'm kinda ashamed to admit it, because I'm the one always preaching that everyone deserves love and happiness. After doing some scary deep dive into my true feelings I sadly discovered I don't believe that at all when it comes to me. It's like a thing deeeep down that keeps going: you don't deserve to be loved. I wish I could change that",1.8068181818181799,3.8837118508771935,3.667607655502394,87.22643540669857,79.6140350877193,5.899840510366826,23.52153110047847,6.980632752743323,0.9175368421052628,437,15,87,5,11,147,76,114,0.181,0.6779999999999999,0.141,-0.7036,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,3,10,0,1,3,0,11,4,0,1,3,17,26,3,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,1,2,16,8,11,22,2,12,1,1,0,4,8,5,0,2,5,57,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629957495023757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050182618650983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19267347729314727,0.0,0.0,0.17805145573657666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343603917416729,0.13613325729893822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617817906994225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315139951741248,0.1510093238433528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981460409314627,0.11290031699632395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160168163462984,0.08981499718918264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823131747094652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404688705704693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441594804656414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5705314418390856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957041436176286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188642244859205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516389540837974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708868320625416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696705694122751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049915075059984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544091753948566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260210956743166,0.0,0.18173258179359025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122636107146087,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rrrriiiippppppp,2019/03/02,"What’s wrong ? So I’ve had what felt like a “trip” twice last year. The first one was I woke up early in the morning and I could “feel vibrations” it’s hard to explain but I would look at things and I could feel their vibrations, that’s the best I can explain it really. The second was the next day I woke at maybe the same time and I could see colors, the sun rays coming through the curtain were the colors of the rainbow and they were every where in the room and I was just looking around fascinated I think. I know I was hallucinating but what could have caused me to have these hallucinations I’ve looked online and all I found was people who’ve abused LSD who would wake up to things like these (I’ve never done drugs)(I do meditate maybe it has something to do with it but not sure). My guess is it’s something like bipolar because a couple days before I had gone through a scary phase of what I think is depression , something I’ve never felt before, it was extreme emptiness I could never shake, so my guess is at that point i was depleted of serotonin and when I had this episode it was the serotonin being introduced to my system (this is only a guess obviously).




I have other weird experiences when I wake up often but not all the time though, where I would feel like I’m tripping but there is no hallucinations, I’d have these “realizations” and time and everything feels weird.




Have you ever had a similar experience? Any advice? What do you think?anything would be great :)))))) (There is no hope to go see a psychiatrist or anything of that sort atm so it doesn’t matter if I think I have bipolar as I’m not really gonna do anything about it, and I’m very functioning )(also I’m gonna post this in a few subreddits so sorry if you see it more than once).",2.7736057692307696,4.870418749287751,3.7823993945868963,87.48120592948719,76.6068376068376,6.780662393162394,23.21946225071225,7.756953410329674,1.041140242165242,1395,43,286,21,32,449,165,351,0.093,0.807,0.1,0.6726,0,0,4,0,1,0,36.0,0,3,2,2,17,13,0,1,20,0,45,4,2,1,8,64,79,27,0,12,12,0,7,4,0,6,2,0,2,0,28,13,0,0,13,0,1,6,9,5,0,4,21,15,31,8,26,45,6,38,0,1,8,0,8,14,0,9,20,201,59,0,0.0,0.1033504386350755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523779804983338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975587763924736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059317756979582616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21534263965806014,0.07765105446837317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317313338647111,0.0,0.1484485205060194,0.0,0.091539981317023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960676985166617,0.0,0.07513885097612949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482206913170555,0.09651567675376192,0.0,0.1125091675422309,0.0,0.07512900130018196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892641162918747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890235517156137,0.07349301239176308,0.0,0.0783945395277819,0.17065065465015306,0.0,0.0,0.17641957533411218,0.06231541257634132,0.16750434406626782,0.0,0.0,0.07419574927013015,0.0,0.0956405576032721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957345341704477,0.0,0.0,0.09616873340247302,0.2882730959742929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813879347859114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663668533353364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047938005997566785,0.0711021334968695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704599910237957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974763741828746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752636903247351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20182590016781496,0.0,0.09276753876266863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289454378155128,0.0591076770534854,0.06634051798555536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06047263263613473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245827341835482,0.0,0.08353992579090541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176046418908156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085273037420416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20145619669340348,0.0,0.0976441531789179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221097767925006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159002787824122,0.22356768771057015,0.08570067096839387,0.0,0.15258933946363662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719719025654665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478559283130586,0.09536968387333868,0.0,0.05617171246426314
mentalhealth,NewSunset,2019/03/02,"Offer me some advice please. I feel like I've been stuck in a rut for quite a while. I feel frustrated at myself, and when I try to change something in my life that might be beneficial, I can't commit to it. It's strange how I know I definitely have the capability to be a more efficient human being ( Heck i even see glimpses here and there) yet it seems like life then kicks me in the ass and I fall back down again. I have a loving family, but I cant help to feel like home is kind of hostile. I feel like I want to grow, but sometimes my family shuts me down and makes me feel so... guilty and useless. I'm going to university and just lost my job ( It wasn't my fault)  and despite studying for long periods of time the fact that I don't have a job makes the tension even worse. I'm stuck in between wondering if my environment is taking a toll on me, or rather I can improve myself within it and hopefully improve it? I don't know",3.654,4.178154400000004,5.146153846153847,84.88384615384619,71.66666666666666,8.461538461538463,26.282051282051288,8.617729084823388,1.570435897435897,728,22,162,12,13,246,111,195,0.172,0.6709999999999999,0.158,-0.6067,2,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,12,13,2,1,10,0,16,4,1,3,2,32,38,17,0,4,6,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,8,8,0,0,9,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,5,6,27,7,20,29,2,22,0,2,1,2,4,10,2,7,13,109,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994507831841033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012116396557267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149927363118973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18918030929421256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700149970602705,0.0,0.3620613720071526,0.3069319771144834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813906621204178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959919638256495,0.0,0.14365328137351352,0.14224179872831114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842315618858618,0.0,0.0,0.14913322732590406,0.15741110533699484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230969751570166,0.2798645359190768,0.0,0.0,0.12673808566156566,0.0,0.0,0.15633278122610764,0.0,0.12925439309982126,0.0,0.19119020230250725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192526716685864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720373586061048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232355699796662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412139731971092,0.13037479761842374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025157019152776,0.14164029894239796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767757749591388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350805061587294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723152605136272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447012962002977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530727101694464,0.0,0.0,0.14594523102293247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,50nd3r,2019/03/02,"Living in the house I was abused in. For a little backstory my s/o and I don't have much money and my mother lets us rent her house. The one we lived in for the better part of my childhood. She doesn't live here anymore and was basically just letting it rot to the ground. The electricity only partially works because my s/o rewired some of it (it's a really old house and still has knob and tube wiring), the roof leaks, the floors are one big splinter, and it's drafty as hell. Worst of all there are still holes in the wall upstairs where my brother slammed me against it (thin walls) and his and my father's writing on some exposed drywall. I erased parts of it but honestly it makes me sick to even think of the fact it was there in the first place.

My mental health is just getting worse. On my really bad days I can't even turn a corner without thinking my brother or my father are gonna be there shouting at me or grabbing me to hurt me again. I have to see my mother who just let it all happen (and consistently denies it) every month to give her money. I basically exist in one room of the house and can't go upstairs at all as that's where our childhood bedrooms are. I live in a small town with nothing to do here and I can't drive as I have panic attacks and dissociate. 

I don't know what to do. Moving isn't possible and I guess I'm just looking for some very cheap ideas on how to make being here more bearable and maybe some ideas on how to cope with it all. My mother won't do anything to improve the house at all. How do you heal from your trauma when it's essentially written all over the place everywhere you look? I don't even feel like I have a home. 

Apologies if this is scattered and strangely worded. It's kind of a bad brain day tbh so I suppose this is also partially a vent post. ",3.1692398777692934,4.355838066844921,4.164205500381971,88.99782085561499,73.41176470588233,6.840183346065698,25.389228418640183,7.1686216300943375,0.9590094728800608,1423,45,307,14,28,461,191,374,0.141,0.833,0.026,-0.9926,1,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,3,3,0,3,24,12,2,1,20,0,33,4,1,5,7,52,51,28,0,1,9,7,3,1,0,2,3,1,4,0,18,18,0,0,6,0,4,3,10,8,0,4,4,7,41,4,43,40,15,45,1,1,3,0,21,30,1,8,12,217,59,1,0.0,0.10462901278097714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061884506204794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757652881374056,0.0,0.0,0.07266889911849178,0.0,0.0,0.10046163238883553,0.0,0.0,0.14746483059764687,0.05383095152931011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810010990946772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857949450959227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390104661595545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497724977043536,0.0,0.07440221284402558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044650526514995424,0.06308633214343318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751136434562163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04613661188980397,0.08471184400143605,0.05018673901794963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727979820064912,0.0,0.07808933309860026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938659046238624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857883144749629,0.0,0.0,0.509470442336446,0.09453416076887304,0.19937505648568227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195785073767232,0.048531059069078036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27089878556993496,0.0,0.043142198560106135,0.08850652365257332,0.31190577546139525,0.0,0.1483107936304034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178908309106611,0.0,0.08871596065391259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899239495434459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048557440437901,0.09385605884185064,0.06491559345056626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473267106526138,0.0,0.09266303864258227,0.0,0.17951673876449656,0.06716123313918479,0.0,0.10360889887833663,0.0,0.19125512566030028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452343620880649,0.0,0.0,0.09955254857866196,0.08457341912366176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314308086621708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036901573763323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104370730893187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316674976812335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605234390198826,0.0,0.0,0.10622210068472727,0.0,0.0,0.07286228498732036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512451838826167,0.0,0.0642883374994284,0.0,0.08999208299135875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justanotherdude836,2019/03/02,"Random outbursts of anger I very rarely get angry as I try to use as many different outlets as possible to pour my emotions like running or art. Sometimes I’ll randomly get angry at a disproportionate level and feel the need to scream at someone or thing because otherwise I feel like I’d get physical. I’ve never hit anyone and can’t imagine doing so, but I feel this overwhelming need to release all my emotion at once in these situations. This does not happen every time I get angry and like I said it’s very rare. But I’ve just had these outbursts of anger that really scare me because they aren’t like who I typically am. I’ve also been dealing with a lot of feelings of inadequacy lately. I’ve accomplished almost every goal I’ve set and when I accomplish them I feel good, but then later feel as if it’s never enough. ",7.944248466257669,6.699336024539883,8.644593558282207,69.37523389570553,62.98773006134971,11.340184049079756,36.32592024539878,10.411451182825502,3.736423926380368,664,26,120,13,8,225,101,163,0.101,0.7290000000000001,0.17,0.8681,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,3,4,10,2,2,3,0,6,0,0,1,3,30,22,18,0,3,8,0,6,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,5,0,0,7,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,8,14,5,17,18,3,14,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,7,11,70,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516087734244395,0.0,0.0,0.10794178426051344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437969166548402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456255979291545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391562962867736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102318527553948,0.0,0.0,0.11812007688987305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30366395793796364,0.0,0.13946826083198152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274494180769517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4094933154994479,0.09642824444424693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28208154368679433,0.0,0.0,0.1132130652459745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936051827200525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226095944655918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637735514030318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475339052496313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684641309046303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001688169645854,0.20820656754560346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374706681642174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521673104653658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647030417093643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839490013683205,0.0,0.13513643299329314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15172082394337064,0.0,0.0,0.11436634342756682,0.0,0.13349660238704333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967332439543145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870670361771791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164113934864634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116577574751882,0.0,0.22274182025829076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eatmybutt247,2019/03/02,"Constantly Debating Therapy Hello! 
Background: I’m F15 and have been fighting with my mind over therapy for years. I don’t have a bad relationship with therapy or a stigma attached to it, but I doubt that I need it a lot. I’ve gone to therapy. Been to therapy once as a 7-8 year old because of severe emotional reaction to parents divorce. 

Ever since 2nd grade, I’ve struggled with my mental health, and it seemed to get worst 2 years ago.  2 years ago, I struggled with an emotionally abusive friendship, family issues, breakup, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. I’ve improved A LOT since then, but still don’t feel “mentally right.”  I usually push my emotions/thoughts away by saying it’s normal teenage behavior and everyone else feels like this. I’ll give you a list of things I struggle with.  I won’t go into details, but if you need me to I’ll be willing to explain.  I just need validation if I need therapy or if I’m experiencing normal teenage behaviors. 

1. I always seek validation or opinions from others before I do a decision.

2. Don’t have any hobbies and lay in bed a lot after school. 

3. I lose friends a lot because of behaviors I do or because petty drama. 

4. I manipulate people to get what I want or to make them upset even though I know the consequences. 

5. Constantly irritated everyday and anger outbursts are usually towards loved ones which includes me cussing them out, calling them names, blocking them, ignoring them, or making them feel bad. 

6. I overthink. A lot. Too much. 

7.  I have a hard time opening up to friends because I feel disgusted with myself after opening up.

8. I have desires for drugs when I get upset. Usually heroin or pills are stuff I yearn for even though I’ve never done them. Only have done weed. 

9. Rarely, I self harm. I relapsed a few weeks ago after being clean for almost 2 years. It wasn’t anything too serious. 

10. Sometimes I disassociate when upset or anxious like I’m almost in a dream like state and nothing is real. 

11. I push people away, but once they leave to give me space, I get upset at them for leaving me.

12. I always like to be right in an argument. If I’m not right, I get angry. 

13. My moods change from deeply sad to really happy to angry quickly everyday. 

14. I go from loving someone to hating them real quick if they do something “bad.” 

15. I feel empty a lot. 

16. My sleep schedule is really messed up. I stay up till 12-4am almost every night even on school days. 

17.  When highly upset or even feeling a little left out, I feel like no one cares about me, is gonna leave me, or hates me. 

18. I have a hard time with feelings of guilt. Some days it feels like it’s eating me from the inside. 

19. My relationship with my dad isn’t close and I blame it on my stepmom. 

20.  I do risky behaviors that seem to be normal for a teenager. I don’t constantly do them but I occasionally sneak out to boyfriends house, smoke weed, and rarely drink. 

21. For a few months I felt numb and now I feel like everything is affecting me. 

22. Some days I wish everyone could leave me because I don’t deserve them or I should be wiped off this earth. 

23. I feel like my life lacks meaning because I don’t have talents, hobbies, or some special thing about me. 

24. My grades are usually A’s so luckily I don’t struggle with school, but I do struggle with getting motivation to do work/study. 

25. I feel like I have to replace someone if they leave my life. 

26. I hate the person I am right now. 

27. I feel like I make too many mistakes.

28. I feel like no one understands me or thinks I’m a bad person by the things I’ve done. 

29. I use to be really helpful and love giving advice to people, but I hate it now.

30. I get stressed really easily. People describe me as “over-dramatic.” 


I feel like everyone struggles with all the things on the list, especially teenagers. That’s why I believe I don’t need help because I feel like I’ll grow out of it. ",1.155079559363525,3.6768641421188666,3.1073703250374014,87.29565361077114,86.51937984496124,6.153004215966273,24.03884128926969,7.515186038467793,1.4092555038759689,3042,123,601,56,95,1018,334,774,0.2,0.64,0.16,-0.9838,1,2,4,0,4,0,120.0,0,2,14,2,25,58,7,14,28,0,49,12,1,7,3,130,112,47,1,22,28,2,19,13,2,4,6,1,2,3,23,30,2,2,27,3,0,6,15,35,0,3,9,21,102,22,79,92,15,83,0,3,0,3,40,32,0,35,56,362,125,6,0.0,0.046571231144531634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03840940829720359,0.10452730111203742,0.0,0.1180779667717764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541154960956275,0.0,0.0,0.026729455701930114,0.0,0.0,0.044404638244373934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032345522603279664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385863868094103,0.0,0.1312756094875595,0.16772418412803428,0.0,0.03344654581467478,0.04428444814034055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04013586248030579,0.0,0.040075128350366584,0.0,0.04158057952127798,0.0,0.0,0.12742759959332658,0.0,0.031382675330284236,0.0,0.0,0.07604743409927539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206711799478628,0.0,0.038504956156791635,0.045582528650268815,0.040219892647234384,0.032835153565775536,0.08842801122186675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384507735155926,0.03555456434507693,0.03311703474902457,0.11267581962951198,0.03532573513024632,0.0,0.0370542372517712,0.0,0.3179890450321377,0.28080243502466545,0.037739963314368664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073549945740937,0.0,0.14375048866516493,0.11311780822960205,0.044677057750470525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04184201147529768,0.0704209843810235,0.15522631150053948,0.0,0.041780483487685566,0.0,0.0,0.052692021414871434,0.04152899030629973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0453538939166426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041025294713095656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021601572159781247,0.0,0.0,0.20809711006489012,0.04270612849107722,0.0,0.055526038269700866,0.2496383003308487,0.039394979091041886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043973405717865684,0.0,0.20049954246783036,0.10642570968053497,0.0,0.0787112626349778,0.039850156187807566,0.0,0.04281580154625928,0.0,0.0,0.0792224887794746,0.0,0.0396878964583747,0.0,0.031373706878157936,0.0,0.02889446270318265,0.14572465656615924,0.030315241914798258,0.0,0.0,0.03688605675954626,0.11553472398051072,0.03771520637334453,0.0,0.04124507798054046,0.08371930158500926,0.07990437177128637,0.029894015334200136,0.0,0.0,0.043644706909419836,0.0,0.0,0.10899943878747992,0.0686410376912286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947775955827321,0.1007218252638056,0.0,0.0,0.08439995619239876,0.0,0.13426857679860044,0.0,0.031257741385801806,0.0,0.11933943564711615,0.0,0.07156548688332905,0.08200954606238409,0.044404638244373934,0.0,0.06502872648878245,0.0,0.0393344272943874,0.0,0.06660776187395147,0.030259710636333963,0.0388746795442026,0.0,0.0,0.04189500980868925,0.031389855069722035,0.0,0.04502493709746378,0.246547249492267,0.044996012990338737,0.04299442916161997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696993002335926,0.0,0.10445274822586982,0.025185723927067645,0.07723597131509374,0.062409211960657476,0.045839337127823065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04091897482229195,0.0,0.03394779926593537,0.17316020392656914,0.0,0.023183721331817744,0.0,0.03152893513958845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0354675882863046,0.0,0.04520000727068012,0.0,0.0,0.02861526593824352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655900833639733
mentalhealth,BlaizePascal,2019/03/02,"Increasing frequency of bad flashbacks I have my MD (maladaptive dreaming) under controlled for a while, not too excessive anymore but still takes a few minutes of pacing and re-enacting majestic fantasy scenes... but over the years, my flashbacks of embarrassing moments have been increasing lately and my brain will force me try to recreate the scenes where I could’ve done / handled the things better multiple times. 

I absolutely fucking hate this because I then tend to curse out loud as the stupid scenes of me being a dumbass gets replayed unwillingly. Now, every single day when I’m left all alone to my thoughts, I subconsciously try to go back what happened that current day and all I see are the wrong things that I possibly did and the mistakes and the embarrassment I caused and now I’m stuck on an endless loop of recreating new scenes to try and “correct” it somehow. How do I stop this? I just want to forget them all and somehow live in peace. 
",9.106839080459773,8.722641982758624,8.225862068965515,70.52201149425288,60.206896551724135,11.641379310344828,40.59770114942529,10.980518767755715,4.562935632183908,771,37,130,17,9,240,117,174,0.238,0.711,0.051,-0.99,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,2,11,9,3,2,11,0,9,2,1,3,4,27,22,15,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,8,9,0,2,1,2,0,3,1,8,0,0,5,2,17,1,18,15,7,26,0,0,1,1,1,7,1,2,16,92,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826903481663343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493483842368415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563562403635124,0.14728110752505566,0.1075277695465768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560056135239412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969133531268516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18120459496702526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19784017897714296,0.14083576371226889,0.0,0.0,0.22751827979421416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805116741127326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486190336444582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307284096752442,0.09215826267246137,0.0,0.1002484250065316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15598408675537254,0.0,0.0,0.17415194767764738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19897942009304026,0.0,0.1916519276299912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575858958111688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036182926075688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988570366532019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056268916843787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086798416754667,0.14747276723831115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262587219788927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343758524952767,0.0,0.0,0.1400366434132251,0.10285640061781584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35927858652419425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404138796631393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285847449929305,0.0,0.11359155588958825
mentalhealth,JoeRockMusic,2019/03/02,"How's everybody doing today? This is something I want to try and do everyday. Please feel free to post how your day is going and how you are feeling down below and lets create a dialogue and lets help each other out. We are a community, so lets help each other out and spread mental health awareness as far as we can ",5.210238095238097,5.746711571428572,6.098531746031751,79.39160714285715,68.2063492063492,8.839682539682537,26.86111111111111,8.841846274778883,1.9366539682539687,251,7,48,4,4,83,45,63,0.0,0.7659999999999999,0.234,0.9169,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,2,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,3,0,17,14,11,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,11,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,8,11,2,10,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,39,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590631017060662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287878387261532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857760533656915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404829139221507,0.0,0.0,0.30328827702607786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.694038262273013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22799706177967344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24834396698990865,0.0,0.0,0.21667571790542486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17417087550965046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444939941217905,0.0,0.0,0.15360234770431042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334424208632704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kiitos123,2019/03/02,"Inferiority complex? Err... hmm. I don’t feel like what I’m feeling is that bad in comparison to a lot of stuff I’ve seen, but maybe someone can help a bit.

I essentially have zero self-esteem and very good self-discipline. Anything I do feels like a failure, no matter how false that may be. This kinda motivates me on some days to do incredible amounts of work, on others I just feel tired and miserable. 
Partially, I feel like I’m only where I am because of this - most people around me consider me smart, even if I have no idea on what’s going on. I feel like I’m acting for just about everyone, even for myself. 

Whenever I play the piano, I cry because I can’t find any interest in it anymore, but I feel like I’m letting my piano teacher and my parents down.

However, because I usually feel normal and motivated, I don’t really know whether I should seek professional help. Is this maybe some sort of syndrome or disorder? ",3.9617582417582433,5.507269131868135,5.818461538461541,76.50153846153849,71.96703296703296,9.156043956043957,30.582417582417587,9.606745405546679,3.013325274725275,730,32,138,18,14,252,112,182,0.146,0.64,0.214,0.9161,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,8,12,0,1,4,0,15,1,0,3,0,37,30,10,0,3,7,1,8,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,14,1,0,2,5,3,0,1,1,9,21,9,17,25,6,13,0,2,1,0,3,9,0,9,7,89,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923381781018064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555102072411115,0.0,0.0,0.09588146027000012,0.1037225582321536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728469446823257,0.21307837202561047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272035965773986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798564634736384,0.0751421777974901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353564790299136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391338363024396,0.0,0.0,0.11133454497657258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.471305632645007,0.4161897126807719,0.0,0.0,0.10649209156977077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621784396904283,0.09772678817910962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561943524549431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153062581896538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403329166175226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914391374620148,0.0,0.28461536141178884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905641424249367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341088405063912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415941739459952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861448549562961,0.0,0.0,0.12937550222506006,0.0,0.0,0.08077644538114828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464213676342231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430999532449644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872231084532478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338116328360478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133916214153949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832419974138104,0.096136619213149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482390338299838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,glitchxwitch,2019/03/02,"Mental Health, Wicca & BPD ​

Hey guys! I made a youtube video opening up about my struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder and was hoping it might be of help to you guys. Trigger warnings because I briefly speak about self harm.

[Wicca and BPD](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yEq4firZJw&t=1s)",10.201304347826088,14.728419130434785,5.954521739130435,68.75786956521742,64.21739130434783,8.027826086956521,37.46086956521739,8.841846274778883,4.22824,264,13,31,5,5,70,41,46,0.212,0.6829999999999999,0.104,-0.69,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,8,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,4,1,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,0,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5573243145360844,0.20834034932425494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451926172803884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4318909304776809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19650582835575345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33954093621454645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822519345098104,0.0,0.0,0.11492474517346295,0.0,0.0,0.1702965729668523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622377927392454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17278942979437525,0.1818899407691472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497105928617895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17886818402360316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17924522574949125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20834034932425494,0.0
mentalhealth,Jormungandr8,2019/03/02,"Sharing your story in exchange for art? Hi so basically I saw a YouTube where they asked strangers to tell them the most painful thing they've ever been told. so I had the idea that maybe if you told us that or told us your story then we could do a quick drawing of you in exchange. i thought this would be a good way to help and reach out to people.

What do you think? Would you be interested in participating?

Also if you guys do think this is a good idea then I'll be looking for artists :)",2.8830940594059413,4.327158831683171,3.470383663366338,92.66814975247526,74.54455445544555,6.238118811881187,25.496287128712872,6.6274283507984215,0.6309495049504945,386,13,88,3,8,121,65,101,0.03,0.7959999999999999,0.174,0.9253,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,3,7,2,0,6,5,0,0,6,0,12,1,0,0,1,16,21,9,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,7,2,15,4,10,8,1,10,0,0,2,0,21,5,0,4,4,62,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371232414238385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631240428946028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349813528623394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124485057530626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804841921231846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555743771022852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120727683238587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775040806076097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040856158365786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679780698358383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779159742235593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591763347317828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614295074364245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110823644488646,0.21427409516312665,0.0,0.13274064963784654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4793094168702807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022496812391029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327181031106256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375526862309917,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crownpotato,2019/03/02,"I'm thinking about dropping my therapist and I know it might be a bad idea PROS OF STAYING WITH MY THERAPIST:

* I do what you're supposed to do when you are mentally ill/depressed (IDK WHAT I HAVE YET)

CONS OF STAYING WITH MY THERAPIST:

* With the excuse of therapy being progress I mindlessly go there to be told advice I already know and lies. For example: I say I resent my friends and that I want to avoid talking to them again, she goes ""if you do that then you will not have friends"". WELL DON'T YOU THINK I ALREADY KNOW THAT? CAN WE PLEASE DIG INTO WHY I FEEL THE NEED TO SHUT OUT MY FRIENDS.
* I don't feel comfortable opening up to her (and nether was I with the previous therapist). I feel like I'm not understood, like everything I say it's going to be met with a ""whoops that's yet one behavior more you need to correct"" so I just shut up.
* If she asks me to say good things about myself and I can't I feel so bad. Like sorry I'm broken I came here to solve this. Then she says that there's things, I just don't realize. No, my life is a disaster and I'm bad at most things THAT'S WHY I'M DEPRESSED. I'M NOT LYING.
* She refuses to diagnose me, which I desperately want because up until now I've done nothing but show bpd and adhd  signs and she's not treating them accordingly because she doesn't want to diagnose me.
* I don't feel better after going there. I feel like I have more work and chores to do. I do what she tells and it doesn't work because it's idealized advice based on the ideal basis that there's nothing neurodivergent with me, which there is. For example, she gives me advice to get closer to my college friends, I do what she tells me but there's still this off thing about me that these friends catch on.

​

I will probably keep going to her for a bit more but I'm kind of fed up with it rn.",0.8676515338941151,3.193381481382985,2.5388495794161337,92.4346511627907,85.25,6.050865907966354,22.04205838693716,7.397020576406223,0.8421608857001481,1431,50,311,24,43,469,164,376,0.078,0.797,0.125,0.9436,0,1,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,5,2,6,21,23,1,1,8,0,29,4,0,0,1,61,65,21,0,9,11,0,6,4,5,3,3,4,1,0,26,22,1,3,14,1,0,6,12,6,1,1,7,10,60,17,45,51,5,33,0,1,0,0,37,14,0,4,14,213,86,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510796530207696,0.23199691572233305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17466052506193686,0.0,0.0,0.08574551043852989,0.09616079434442057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398293343487918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198229664689345,0.14472456148786708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999073852303249,0.08639771629253333,0.0,0.09967098327229716,0.0,0.0,0.090512283241984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632212454816714,0.16064590996745504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098519724894539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112373382086082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400859611989813,0.1130717737157229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057074029003867,0.0,0.04134610748769827,0.07591595620263883,0.17990279050827138,0.066376828536776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933666970942758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034109721660227,0.0,0.08240958807332285,0.13047579585305746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589719720566789,0.15465045271917552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975204456188477,0.08395244245462415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173589922081896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186924145846567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362565702719227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868692735224546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532367181727846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517334481468804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858801648295385,0.0,0.16870021331866286,0.0631993556092414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360777100445611,0.13833942668838795,0.0,0.09050069385563707,0.3675392149251071,0.21030190693224388,0.10141630276453667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561932751320738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003214531006886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115416819009113,0.0,0.14281867308590787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522616870114015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616079434442057,0.0
mentalhealth,justasillyploy,2019/03/02,"I feel like I'm failing my parents So I'm trying to get into my major at my 
school. As far as my parents know, I'm doing 
pretty ok, even I thought I was doing ok. But 
recently tabulated that I may not make it 
to where I need to be. This suspicion was 
confirmed by my advisor who said I should 
consider a plan B if I don't get in. I'm 
beyond afraid to tell my parents this and 
even more so if their opinion of me. 
I excelled in high school and through my 
extracurriculars. But getting through college
has been a challenge and a half. 

I've done all I could think of to try and 
beaer my grades. Going to office hours, 
doing group study, doing individual study, 
tutoring, all of it but it just doesn't seem 
work for me. So I know it's not from lack 
trying because I've definitely been trying my butt off. 

So now, I'm in a position so that if I don't 
pass this semester with a certain grade, 
then I won't be competitive for my major 
and will have to either change majors or 
change campus. 

I'm beyond scared to tell my parents this 
news. They love me very much but I can't 
stand to let them be in the dark about this. 
But because of the anxiety and stress of 
this, I've had all the typical symptoms, lack
of appetite, lack of sleep, all of it. !'ve been
doing my best to fix everything and I just 
can't. ",2.854780219780217,3.828000439560444,4.645587912087915,86.0681620879121,73.9084249084249,7.657802197802197,26.10421245421245,8.07648339933343,1.4146792673992676,1012,34,223,15,20,345,138,273,0.057,0.81,0.133,0.9606,4,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,3,6,14,12,0,3,8,2,28,4,2,1,5,44,48,24,0,9,14,4,1,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,14,9,0,0,6,0,0,2,8,4,0,1,9,2,32,8,37,30,14,19,0,1,0,2,13,12,1,7,5,161,46,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345373004078512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893785688136285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282016665937751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584627675362397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753655687273163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250143195464119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161373929826808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979148645996324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061768866598493816,0.08727268273191145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19147408424203285,0.0,0.06942757968088145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907104579986864,0.0,0.0,0.12030513537182012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342742738997604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491910139770805,0.0,0.05968226839900681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025613310240692,0.0,0.08154420088708961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980325530234112,0.09058170537301824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5425865568008316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242828507856393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206204107527584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620420395101085,0.0,0.12230564924330654,0.2472692874789656,0.0,0.11121185667024093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225039976604812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993635952573089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697327561785227,0.0,0.0,0.21355025216185128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827658949849965,0.0,0.09698312186133014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33176039346809705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079658881361102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893551885681604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aurora-light,2019/03/02,"How to cope with jealousy of others when feeling so depressed? Hi,

Over these past 12 months I have really been struggling with depression, but I have found I have become so jealous of others. In particular my friend's and family. They seem to all be doing so much better than me, good jobs, loving relationship's and just generally happy with where they are going in life.

How can I stop these awful feelings because it is impacting my relationships with them. I have tried talking to one of my closest friends, but she doesn't understand because from her perspective  I am married and have a nice home and good life. However deep down I just feel horrible all the time. Please tell me there is a way I can change for the better.",7.1757846715328455,7.493027335766428,7.109187956204384,74.59473083941606,63.96350364963503,10.353649635036495,33.183394160583944,10.125756701596842,3.283628467153285,583,22,104,12,8,186,94,137,0.15,0.623,0.227,0.9449,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,3,2,10,13,1,1,4,1,15,3,0,2,2,24,23,12,0,0,4,0,3,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,5,8,0,1,6,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,3,18,9,17,20,3,14,0,2,0,1,13,7,0,1,5,79,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19019193592437436,0.17228941016399227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759381113948971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650269956591548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26872462259261914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706263165409084,0.0,0.23663440372140926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710456168836674,0.2410499593971613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886582233862057,0.2616902906488621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606457932051516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648041652900424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548056291138422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203744003090401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079581807723932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124517470617356,0.0,0.11467772758317675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570943266675507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891936347199788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712408225707224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993740113750896,0.0,0.0,0.3349705887833609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420162661176572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042273272965876,0.0,0.16308475551235088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538664808653774,0.1363506120144904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096467841845136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059135548509179,0.0,0.0,0.16240118723982355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382529908185305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tjparkin29,2019/03/02,"How has your mental illness helped you in the long run? For me, suffering from depression has given me the ability to identify when I am not being productive enough, because development in my opinion seems to be the best option to alleviate symptoms of depression , as it gives me the tools to combat negative thought cycles by rebalancing them through day-to-day achievements. 

Little victories promote positive wellbeing and in-turn prove that I am on the right track. 

Depression doesn't have to be so bad after all.",9.408461538461538,9.711295120879123,9.143164835164836,61.92683516483522,59.32967032967032,13.433846153846154,42.37582417582418,12.688352899677879,6.016721318681319,420,22,63,14,5,136,71,91,0.244,0.648,0.108,-0.9463,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,1,3,3,6,0,0,5,0,9,2,0,1,2,9,13,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,0,9,1,15,8,3,9,0,4,0,0,5,5,0,3,3,49,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576440185882345,0.13562385650607026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334826725458132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869668613181123,0.0,0.5748740525251449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22988489505791165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342641452213265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491259782236015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229868825033112,0.0,0.1968908672062966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22421100613181447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899996652446789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025405925215216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312455096788248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662702120534776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24199812443110866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tossmeout892,2019/03/02,"I don't want a cat, but my therapist wants one for me Using a throwaway because I don't want to be known on my main account as ""that joyless fuck who doesn't want a cat.""

Okay, so a couple years ago, my mom's cat died. I had bonded with this cat while I was living at her house for about six months, and his death was really traumatic for me. Since then I have gotten my own place, and I've been waffling on getting a pet for myself. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that nice as it would be to have a cat around, I am not a suitable environment for a cat due to my emotional dysregulation and executive dysfunction. I would either hit the cat and end up killing it, or leave something on the floor that they cat would eat that would end up killing it. There are no possible good outcomes for either me or the cat. It's a nonstarter.

My therapist does not agree. Since I expressed this to her she's been on the warpath about getting me a cat. She's wasted untold amounts of time that should have been spent focusing on me and my problems, trying to convince me what a great cat owner I would be. She's suggested fostering a cat ""just to see,"" like it would make me feel better to kill a cat I was supposed to give back instead of one I was supposed to home permanently. Last session she actually made me list all the good things that cats do. I don't really care how great they are as pets. I. Don't. Want. One. That should be good enough for her. But apparently, I'm just not smart enough to make those decisions for myself. I'm half-convinced that I'll show up to therapy one day and she'll have one already waiting for me, about to be euthanized if I don't adopt it immediately and become the cat-loving client she's always wanted.

I've asked her why she's so abnormally obsessed with this, and she gives me some incoherent bullshit like ""I just think a cat would be so happy with you."" That's not true, obviously, but even if it were, the choice should be mine. Am I within my rights to terminate contact with this idiot?",5.114306569343063,5.275107798053528,5.808461313868616,82.70022481751826,68.34306569343065,9.106413625304135,29.092068126520683,8.954980946260402,2.041675542579075,1599,52,339,26,25,522,192,411,0.201,0.687,0.112,-0.991,2,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,1,2,2,15,22,5,1,22,1,42,2,0,5,3,62,69,24,5,19,16,1,1,2,0,11,0,0,3,0,24,14,1,1,5,1,2,1,11,7,0,6,12,2,53,15,46,38,10,27,0,0,1,1,25,14,1,5,14,234,77,1,0.0,0.0,0.08438967702305096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665718732725478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543019779582004,0.0,0.07195630268514833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698341105694446,0.08084489576224357,0.0,0.0,0.06649594746165682,0.0,0.052715951028632586,0.09550773080693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648242233051769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881696912223457,0.0,0.0,0.0744928074788455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568583540614084,0.0,0.05577090711695299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975011060172879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567714304712625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848818860164942,0.0,0.09727567653275887,0.15318699672993485,0.17870898501625795,0.0,0.05711764866352467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043725680157920964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994716095008671,0.09036196849263103,0.16591441514807262,0.0,0.2175999599478196,0.0,0.19068375014440134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920570284802368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674409810900771,0.0,0.0,0.09978355620974128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28702400253644045,0.0,0.0,0.07049079767802309,0.0,0.09156730717502998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844971884000151,0.0,0.07636131778117441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182720960361667,0.11544895812639305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128153671076176,0.06902560669957943,0.0,0.06357099676143381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929973475816033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903507011344772,0.0,0.0,0.097490516636899,0.0,0.08797882301923267,0.0,0.08274739784003388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107995482287652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385141011711893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891146231250153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430703523884253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657469241165112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889468856502967,0.20081435095643724,0.057451884357571335,0.055411363438352776,0.0,0.0,0.05042579234010358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871262357841996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468889314058343,0.0,0.0,0.30604042487503313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803259618446502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4300185123048577,0.0,0.0,0.055688748337218236
mentalhealth,euph0ny,2019/03/02,"I got rid of my bad coping mechanisms without having good ones to replace them ahhhhhh I have been miraculously un-depressed for the past 3 months (yay  meds and escaping toxic job!), and have therefore been working on getting rid of some of the less healthy coping mechanisms I have used to deal with stress/anxiety/depression/etc. in the past. I am doing really good with not using phone addiction or emotional eating as a coping mechanism the way I did before, and I feel like a new person.

The only problem is - I haven't developed an equivalently natural-feeling GOOD coping mechanism to replace these. By natural-feeling, I mean that I just automatically do them without thinking about it. I think working out could be one of these mechanisms soon, but I'm not quite there yet on it feeling like the natural thing to do.

So now, on days like this where PMS is kicking my ass emotionally, I just have NO way to cope and feel like I'm trapped in this emotional tornado with no way to distract myself. And I honestly can't even thing of more positive coping mechanisms that people use besides working out and maybe making art... what are some others?

Sorry if this makes no sense, I am kind of messed up right now",7.427200948830904,7.6301247665198275,7.906343612334805,69.47893934259578,63.44933920704846,11.38990172822772,36.84479837343274,11.051253699011982,4.298357777024737,970,44,166,25,13,321,135,227,0.14,0.72,0.141,-0.3132,1,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,4,11,14,0,1,9,1,20,4,1,6,0,36,35,11,0,3,9,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,13,11,1,0,6,1,0,0,9,4,0,2,4,3,18,10,29,29,4,22,0,0,0,1,5,10,1,4,13,119,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633221664917985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910035779390968,0.0,0.0,0.0908043530916633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520113100593645,0.0,0.0,0.0688206399142899,0.11001575073403264,0.09191119370178066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919337839801306,0.0,0.3601111037897187,0.0,0.0,0.11901248228840353,0.07048250305809467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697848613834861,0.2287059799860516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575280031340405,0.0,0.0,0.268515777545613,0.08534761745238262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589554486176188,0.0,0.0,0.11112449483010886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085370626822632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246264919153984,0.0,0.1072069022051982,0.11624103675911725,0.11853336815963708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517678246788189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306345597636184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462210493704608,0.08115955347901152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20373803233908228,0.07398090957802922,0.09317711098821127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021093104806682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350172342970664,0.0,0.0,0.0683626661776131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113176682198576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945574307337598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222386403900102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178989190469735,0.1367539345327066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764956329101464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541098974695677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057338014681688,0.0,0.2330635928564012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,refillmycappuccino,2019/03/02,"This is why I hate saying how I feel because people always ask the most stupid questions. I remembered a conversation I had with a past therapist. In short,   
I've never had any romantic relationships, and I have issues maintaining friends.. and trusting men. When I was sharing this, she asked:

​

""How was your father? (I look confused) From what you said he seemed caring""

""Yeah, he was fun and cared about me.. but I never knew if he'd be the kind dad or angry dad, hitting and punishing me""

""I see, but he was caring to you and your mother, he never hit her. And they didn't divorce""

""Yes.. but-""

""Why do you fear men, then? It doesn't make sense""

""... because the rest of men I was in contact with were rude and abusive to their partners. Because I was bullied by boys and people excused it saying 'they like you, that's why they hit you'""

""I see, but they weren't your father""

""What does that have to do with it?""

""We develop unhealthy relationships based on our parents, your uncles and classmates don't affect your mind or childhood""

​

When I tried telling her this was making me feel unwell, she explained this is what ""psychology has scientifically proven is true, we are only shaped by own parents, so it makes no sense I'd feel traumatized in other ways"". I actually forgot this scene until today, so it's upsetting me a bit much.. I've had a couple bad months with my mental health, so it sucks

​

​

And no, if she thought saying this to me made me suddenly trust men, she's wrong. I'm slowly trying to push myself out of this hole by MYSELF, but she pushed me in deeper. Not only do I fear no one would want a long-term relationship with someone as fucked up as me, I felt I had no reason to be fucked up, which means I'm damage goods beyond repair. ",4.514782608695653,5.830239898550726,5.114898550724639,82.97060869565219,70.30434782608697,7.375072463768117,26.5536231884058,7.699297019823105,1.453200579710145,1395,44,267,16,25,448,183,345,0.234,0.688,0.078,-0.9971,2,0,0,0,1,0,85.0,3,10,5,0,11,26,7,4,8,2,30,3,0,8,4,57,63,30,0,4,10,7,4,1,2,1,1,4,0,6,20,18,0,1,12,0,0,2,12,14,0,1,20,11,54,12,30,36,5,26,0,1,3,2,61,11,3,8,13,181,74,0,0.0,0.08983009365805919,0.07398591690306572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308535852863913,0.32858836030199456,0.368501132914968,0.05155778471223136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175628941602786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330356748938418,0.13865100957330884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277192527401317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23189976588120825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838894580106691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634748484007975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170629165167479,0.11500522289510515,0.0,0.07279567999094065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857559989874471,0.1401821695578588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359123976112345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748530463850848,0.0,0.08058933922382425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913267431109322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895116397256889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037040087010870935,0.0,0.0,0.06709517095589412,0.0636667217256898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173935656240589,0.15182420392754378,0.0,0.0,0.08258633857045795,0.0,0.0,0.07640514768440225,0.0,0.07655299996005742,0.0,0.060515965715378074,0.0,0.05573381306521394,0.0,0.17542295663314073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051375187524582984,0.11532365072989795,0.0,0.0,0.16837038716817698,0.0,0.07237537872835012,0.10512315816354484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493177352415955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795193608132857,0.0,0.24419547593566804,0.08588525640964709,0.0,0.07211880414126585,0.1808768482528512,0.0,0.0,0.12083178663970565,0.06902044708097556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423903062516878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626691757413186,0.0,0.0,0.08802874004807335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018979118409892,0.0,0.0,0.07186512801973166,0.0,0.0,0.10294878336949724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471850555370318,0.06017956770870494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523765633528865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385782960409928,0.08289338436899467,0.368501132914968,0.0
mentalhealth,theweeknnddd,2019/03/02,"Can't bring myself to feel something for someone outside family I've reached a point where I can't feel anything for anyone anymore. I've been doing one night stands and stuff but it just seemed to bring me down even more. And even now, I can't like or love a girl no matter how much I struggle to.

I'm also scared of unwanted pregnancies, even if I'm using Condoms everytime and I don't Finish inside her so there's no possible way...(?)

Last things last, I smoke and I am very scared of cancer, every terminal disease and premature death. Even the smallest symptom I feel I link it to cancer.

I hope this is the right subreddit for this, I still don't understand how stuff works here yet. ",2.2684775808133466,4.65216371532847,3.385552659019816,88.21928832116791,79.72992700729927,6.542022940563086,23.65432742440041,7.7094869923839395,1.2771568300312826,547,19,107,9,14,176,89,137,0.292,0.667,0.041,-0.9917,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,15,6,0,3,4,0,9,5,0,3,0,21,21,12,1,3,4,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,6,0,0,2,7,3,0,1,1,3,13,3,10,20,2,15,0,0,0,2,3,4,0,4,8,71,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420661362197552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403231343085114,0.10860096464742464,0.0,0.12781231224065387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103405474044364,0.0,0.1308609181475316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641864963970144,0.0,0.2355981901145374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426440989477874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25320748650361563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587983607844996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401792782157995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417555790768555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575408972985907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524653483456599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682437169489995,0.17509610820636426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326395114431609,0.0,0.0,0.31099798533143336,0.0,0.0,0.14139438195781415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159923496523446,0.11957029204934848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403602212794015,0.0,0.0,0.16237061318952015,0.3556006519012043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614333971995409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031854349238867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169003823805725,0.0,0.13414365792997965,0.0,0.12815244530100675,0.0,0.1232830725173056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307232069817567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alexpythons,2019/03/02,"Mental Health vs Physical Health It’s amazing how much time we spend on our physical health and not on our mental health. I have learned a lot about myself and have made it a point to help myself and others overcome mental obstacles so I started this channel: [Head Shrunk](http://bit.ly/headshrunk)

If it helps at least one person it will be all worth it. Thanks",3.6759090909090912,6.80492257575758,3.0032575757575763,88.22488636363637,80.81818181818181,5.724242424242425,23.40151515151515,7.1686216300943375,1.165006060606061,294,10,50,4,8,86,48,66,0.037000000000000005,0.7659999999999999,0.197,0.8834,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,4,5,1,2,1,12,7,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,7,2,5,4,4,6,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,2,37,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894304000524425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821497381860948,0.6968981960965707,0.0,0.0,0.21972564465134165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934712833206192,0.0,0.15509194100294085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4955364764116122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048986305389868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106703397383287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431165084509886,0.0,0.0,0.1549442697078547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160136007231107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090274079523994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955749810915247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,400houses,2019/03/02,"Feel like I can’t like things that I usually enjoy I have off and on spurts of feeling like I can’t enjoy things that I usually do for no apparent reason (types of music, certain movies, etc.). Nothing really changes, it’s just a switch that flips in my head that tells me I can’t like that thing, even though I feel like I still should. Does anyone know what might be the cause of this or has anyone experienced it before? If so, what have you done to help?",2.513467741935486,4.288318774193551,3.40826612903226,91.33239919354841,76.31182795698925,6.800537634408602,20.227150537634405,7.6454224807358475,0.4821408602150537,358,8,78,5,8,114,64,93,0.023,0.713,0.264,0.9655,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,2,0,11,1,1,2,1,13,15,5,0,2,3,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,11,8,8,11,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,8,55,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277045440199883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855359887414911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726795799803915,0.17224914548330095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249081435413782,0.16662833041920824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18159490344431667,0.10754555397249796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469903403995106,0.34897045716650593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671072540422455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091393598525349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948534119670258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3977447053681543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273348458765214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15623668896222434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043110060811608,0.16741305084108227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003367857914125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423177845043572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245246368454561,0.0,0.15997648677298607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35866139314872336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Emma_2k19,2019/03/02,"Aspergers stuff I wanted to write about (feedback) Ok, so I have been researching about Aspergers and other mental health disorders (just because I was bored and I'm a nerd.. XD) and I found some interesting information and wrote a kind of essay on it. Looking for feedback. (it's pretty long, but I wrote about some important things regarding aspergers and asd that I think most people don't know).  


 

Asperger's Syndrome

Aspergers syndrome is a subtype of ASD (autism spectrum disorder). It affects the ability to understand directions given by others and often people affected may need someone to explicitly explain what is expected of them. Other things you might notice in people with Aspergers are obsessive or repetitive routines and physical clumsiness. People with Aspergers may feel anxiety in certain situations and repetitive routines may relieve some of that anxiety. It may feel “instinctive” to repeat the same routines or stick to the same things so that they do not have to step outside of their comfort zone. This behavior may come off as “obsessive” when in reality they are just doing what feels right to them. 

Other disorders that might coincide with Aspergers are depression or anxiety. This could be for a number of reasons: The anxiety may arise from the fact they have grown up with Aspergers and felt different, leading to anxiety and a feeling of inadequacy; the depression could come from the fact that having Aspergers (or other mental disorders) have made them feel that they are not good enough and that others dislike them, making them feel alone. Other reasons for depression or anxiety affecting people with Aspergers could be because of behavioral interventions and medications that could have other mental health side effects.

If it is not diagnosed early parents, teachers and other guardians may think the child is just being rebellious or badly behaved. This can badly affect the child’s mental health as the child is not at fault (nor are the guardians) they are just misunderstood. This could lead to a feeling of loneliness and put them into a depressive state that will continue throughout their teenage years and possibly into adulthood. It could also cause the child to harm themselves and give them a feeling of worthlessness.

Aspergers should not be seen as a disease that needs to be treated or cured but as a difference or even a personality type that should be celebrated. It is a common misconception that Aspergers or Autism stops people affected from being able to make friends, be social or creative. Many people affected by Aspergers and Autism can be very creative. Even if not all are. The condition may create difficulties in being creative, but not all people affected by the condition have creative difficulties. And although it creates difficulty in interacting with others and being friendly it doesn’t mean they are incapable. It just means it’s harder. Trouble maintaining eye contact or reading social cues affects them but it doesn’t prohibit friendship. People affected can be outgoing, kind and friendly, they just need to work harder than others on things other people usually have no problem with. 

People need to be more accepting of Aspergers, not by looking at them as people who have problems but by looking at them as being who have differences. Everyone is different in their own way even if they don’t have a condition. If they weren't the world would be a boring place.

In 2013, Aspergers was removed from the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders and people with these symptoms are now included within the Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Asperger's syndrome and autism have are different, although similar. People with Aspergers are now diagnosed with mild Autistic Spectrum Disorder and are given the same help as those with autism. In my personal opinion I think Aspergers should have been kept as a separate condition to autism as they are not the same thing. People with Aspergers might not relate to many symptoms of autism as they are different and need different support. 

The exact cause of Aspergers is unknown. Genetics and environmental factors are believed to play a role. Brain imaging has not identified a common underlying problem. Aspergers is greatly misunderstood by many people, even some psychologists as people studying the mental disorder can only know so much having not experienced it themselves. ",10.139083595223127,11.148181632432433,9.379736015084852,58.466206788183534,57.67567567567568,13.262099308610935,43.15524827152735,12.59259836980748,6.336462916404778,3608,192,479,118,43,1145,287,740,0.157,0.7390000000000001,0.104,-0.9917,6,1,0,0,0,0,66.0,0,1,24,4,21,34,0,2,38,1,91,10,2,19,7,174,133,65,0,24,38,1,9,0,3,16,8,0,0,6,53,42,0,2,24,2,0,8,19,18,0,0,14,15,33,16,90,82,15,48,0,5,5,0,49,24,0,33,14,400,86,8,0.0426624637960819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418544616685171,0.0,0.03411715688420307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19582000819022516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124275051485028,0.052013283902837715,0.0,0.0,0.048065987320349696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04762541892031987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765220447017684,0.0,0.0734998699352333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043750351893842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698047021457905,0.08660300543043044,0.0,0.31201236097048296,0.3911590369026952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04408172949677935,0.0,0.11271261991213324,0.0,0.0,0.04076581241687708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257138847126774,0.0,0.0409626556119698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04677718951682451,0.09888274110010717,0.0,0.0,0.04092572271902455,0.0,0.035783250525268435,0.0,0.04703551694690817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604461208546498,0.0,0.0,0.02859575019637276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885278193362495,0.04689234876502087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037754937950089405,0.10747717431791713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040368254779072715,0.056955051726690485,0.1297591264522677,0.0,0.09294386000752278,0.0,0.04297794395572404,0.25796237512726217,0.13577439658318044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031361819696119037,0.15816838165339414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485714977967454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032446726161166374,0.0,0.0,0.047371617283349536,0.0,0.0,0.5028052717478619,0.07450243563759734,0.044573194424354715,0.0,0.0,0.048095517777106515,0.0,0.04340306311320626,0.0,0.12246664848378765,0.0,0.042887559566630346,0.0,0.0,0.042674008864674165,0.0,0.0,0.0877282364113674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03643351097811207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04795439679395853,0.0,0.08697801845870702,0.036147767129492366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03566773003219788,0.0,0.0,0.0488383141414773,0.0,0.048412858342724616,0.0,0.0886852700995328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171522629935526,0.08200915249722825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044413129384316366,0.0,0.0,0.04698667656389832,0.03520100060642132,0.02516342649325161,0.033863477987095936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031058781751039124,0.0,0.0,0.030306190234852187,0.0,0.0,0.027473227940857544
mentalhealth,saferontheground,2019/03/02,"i don’t know what’s real anymore i recently started antidepressants(sertraline) and everything’s fine with them, a few side effects for the first week like sickness and being tired etc. However, for the last week i’ve been really confused, i’m imagining scenarios and thinking they’ve happened or dreaming them and i don’t know which ones are real until i either do the thing that i did in my dream/whatever or ask someone whether that actually happened. 

i feel like i’m going crazy. is this a side effect of the antidepressant? how can i be less confused? ",4.240384615384617,6.909002269230772,5.1448461538461565,76.70015384615384,74.38461538461539,8.006153846153849,30.592307692307692,8.841846274778883,2.9537838461538466,452,21,76,10,10,147,71,104,0.112,0.8170000000000001,0.07,-0.6182,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,3,1,5,0,2,6,0,10,2,0,3,0,21,21,9,0,0,4,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,7,1,0,1,2,2,0,2,2,1,10,3,6,17,4,11,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,4,9,52,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.192790157010184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19592653097892265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184692022736591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22033173163649736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17755427710251795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998923214354767,0.14113697330177424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804451821633615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227795632142767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494034839632926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171477261529868,0.16103784765531345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19303576922220414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387183512598444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497332852818493,0.1265620574294078,0.0,0.1950667626931588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739202971065875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398340540185409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125015045147845,0.12658853350641944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22706627009084399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31694158753563456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lamponerosso,2019/03/02,"My internet friend told me he has depression. I'm worried and I don't know what to do I've known this guy for a month now, we got to know each other on a language exchange app, we are very distant and maybe we will meet in 2 years but that's not sure.

Yesterday he told me he has really bad depression which I didn't imagine because he is a student and he is really passionate about learning his target language.

I didn't expect to hear that and now I'm really worried that he might also have suicidal thoughts, we can't meet, I don't know how to help. I just want to be a good friend but I don't know what to do!!
I'm a bit ignorant on the mental illness topic, I don't want to say anything wrong because of my ignorance.

What can I tell him when he says he isn't fine? I already told him that he can talk to me about anything and I'll listen, he hasn't seen the message yet. 
And what is better not to say?


If you feel like it, I would be really thankful to hear how depression feels like to you.

Excuse my ignorant questions, I'm just trying to overcome this ignorance state (I have never heard anything about depression) and be a better friend. ",2.6549966967628293,4.062573125523016,4.275622109667477,86.81297511561331,75.06694560669456,7.709403215150847,26.386478749174188,8.371475516178862,1.7011707112970709,903,33,191,16,19,303,115,239,0.191,0.638,0.17,-0.7836,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,4,2,0,2,12,22,0,0,8,0,27,2,0,2,2,43,50,14,1,5,7,0,2,2,3,3,1,7,0,1,13,12,0,4,11,0,1,0,12,10,0,0,9,10,26,12,20,35,2,12,0,4,1,1,41,3,0,3,10,117,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174614622715892,0.08512167852859748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26277824273491257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887467568591642,0.1297721860769714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18827870784124803,0.11620716345663246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3667135681338219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764060955124996,0.15208446072839002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467106191913409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927855150000774,0.08513144065247116,0.0,0.0,0.10539437618167427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23993587970516436,0.0,0.07134587045929276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339910943092185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400442979840993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693535806912348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726856306043957,0.11291820688727115,0.0,0.0,0.08496103837554171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820946801629017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923946985539495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727580420995898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539409999327236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643033958725425,0.0,0.1003203837492472,0.0,0.0,0.08555409748562627,0.0930350538157896,0.09799754975176662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845031075379266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051298551591698,0.0,0.07226717306065009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878258486683027,0.12556457197805507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161941615725736,0.0,0.07561338687609305,0.11637768524716816,0.0,0.06854519809085739
mentalhealth,luna-unknown,2019/03/02,"Been seeing a counselor for a few weeks now about my blackouts/hallucinations. I've written about this a bunch of times all over the place, had to make a new account because people i know irl found my reddit account!

Anyways, long story short, since i could remember I've always had episodes of blacking out and mild auditory hallucinations. And more recently, I've had a few scary incidents where i found writing where i had refered to myself as 'Ben'. 

I finally went to my schools counselor about these, but to be honest i don't really like where it's heading. We've talked about my homelife, my mothers psychotic breakdown and other kinda scary things that happened when i was younger.

I guess the hard part about talking about those this is that i honestly don't remember many details about them

One thing in particular we've discussed a bit was how i used to wear multiple pairs of underwear and bras as a child, then she trys to move the subject to ""do i feel safe in my home"". I've heard from a few places that the whole underwear thing is common amoung sexual assult victums, but i honestly don't think that I'm one of those cases at all.

At the moment, I've been keeping journal monitoring all my blackouts and overall feelings, so far I've only made 2 entries, need to do another one tonight. 

Sorry, this was just a rant/update i guess. Just needed to get some crap off my chest.
Sorry i wasted your time!",7.888054823405375,7.188161719557197,7.721647337901953,74.1793819188192,62.800738007380076,10.547285187137588,37.06931997891408,9.784248007369934,3.5297430680021087,1130,48,206,19,14,362,159,271,0.086,0.851,0.063,-0.4356,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,0,17,6,1,0,14,0,18,4,4,4,3,36,39,13,0,3,4,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,15,6,0,2,9,0,2,2,3,1,0,3,15,6,26,5,31,22,12,29,0,0,2,0,10,14,1,4,14,136,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032331397058551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009438269368398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562969377509543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544831835513274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905688295270404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254633459483699,0.0,0.0,0.13590861915778646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720646921986813,0.0,0.0,0.06481954581736182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733461378408765,0.0,0.10971146118665404,0.0,0.11113907807142433,0.0,0.12732786547728034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444866209883605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110275869989252,0.0,0.0,0.06818361986369441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060612550460094124,0.0,0.0,0.10979481322490417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739457761903535,0.08281525021724913,0.1257838031843436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186289276869992,0.0,0.1839872489757716,0.0,0.11982405133378232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522117033890869,0.09435804776938954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435176395433188,0.0,0.08601198381151555,0.0,0.2592458535161108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948007898414834,0.0,0.12250055048830068,0.0,0.2810859724157787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556176705910638,0.09886481587817247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262896455718433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27776423669360034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19943966082854733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24727250496184525,0.07949670577368399,0.0,0.0,0.14468816965768813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715348971993442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951854024158886,0.0,0.0,0.11501074691953855,0.0,0.13851564610165212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,millipedeman24,2019/03/02,"A “friend group” I had abandoned me after I acted out during an episode and shut off all contact from me. They refuse to acknowledge the good times we had together. All I did was get into some arguments on a mutual Facebook group and they instantly insulted and got rid of me. Should I send this text 

Read all of this and don’t dismiss it as a wall of text or guilt tripping:

I like how you purposely ignored all of the times I made you laugh and all of the personal talks we had together and just decided to focus on that one time I was going through a extremely dark time in my life and I acted out as if that’s entirely who I am. Don’t you dare call this guilt tripping or walls of text because that just proves that you’re deflecting the question so you feel less bad about it. I was always there for any of you during any of your problems and I listened every time but during my time of need you either ignored me or told me to fuck off. I didn’t know X’s mother was back in the hospital before I messaged him, it took me hours to work up the courage to speak to him because he told me he was my confidant and I could tell him everything but then he just sent you to do his dirty work. The callous way you kicked me to the curb and how you dismissed all of my problems when I would’ve never judged you for yours just proves how much of a disloyal asshole you are. The way you threw me out like a sub human piece of garbage wrecked me as a human being, I was beginning to enter rages just at the thought of you. You might think I’m pathetic but honestly, I pity you because you decided to verbally destroy a mentally ill person because I messaged someone who explicitly told me I could talk to him about my problems many times. I can promise you on my grandfather’s grave that this is not me trying to guilt trip you but rather a simple fact: the dread and anguish I felt from being abandoned caused me to overdose on paracetamol and now I’m facing permanent liver damage. I’ve destroyed my mind and body due to how badly you hurt me. I’ve seen several specialists and they just all spouted out the same drivel, so no help there.

But let me guess, you’re going to laugh with your friends about this on discord and make me into a laughing stock on the group because you don’t care about this. You don’t care about all the good times we had together because you’re looking for someone to take your anger out on so you feel better about yourself. I used that alt account to converse with my other friends in the group, I don’t give a fuck about mending bridges anymore, but don’t you dare try and stop me from connecting with the people who are still my friends.",4.789301646309081,5.411258763940524,5.209689856611792,85.0898773234201,69.16728624535314,8.453404142326077,30.42719065321296,8.505502328695277,2.1309950504514075,2117,81,433,31,35,675,238,538,0.183,0.711,0.106,-0.9928,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,3,27,3,3,27,42,7,5,28,0,31,7,3,8,13,98,64,38,1,9,19,1,3,2,4,2,2,2,0,4,19,29,0,7,12,1,1,12,10,25,0,1,23,7,87,17,72,34,14,57,0,6,2,2,77,24,2,8,21,302,106,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226729132451032,0.0,0.0,0.1181238098584706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861332141893415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678333693905496,0.14503452022260585,0.3176627076383496,0.0,0.07390411279399871,0.0,0.0,0.07681297245007777,0.0,0.09647228477559246,0.0,0.0,0.08868495193089587,0.0,0.17710150532435578,0.08922027385183531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868749199022892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317601898432345,0.0,0.07805640463031567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782931719439331,0.0,0.08339092835119406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684045896620416,0.1605853707138822,0.0453762523783828,0.08331574113045881,0.09871926188103057,0.1456936048771958,0.0694629688131001,0.0,0.09567656777688796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05821463770228673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553109743269653,0.0,0.092976180125073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773123760731459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881140277038377,0.061345686009336625,0.08486237761443895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293327063423455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821808594108999,0.05797395904662885,0.08805364996674865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752574599214286,0.09213557086930398,0.08769511783573654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384574486615825,0.0643991849885254,0.06698512516845956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058852731129440984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060211799323520075,0.15167051987783872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493150738532233,0.0,0.0,0.09729340314664886,0.0,0.08687486596089702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811731864846474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717775562726462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693596104815754,0.07261162820448584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530141600155054,0.13961567101248099,0.07591191917111874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0556508463450314,0.0,0.06895028063109199,0.4051498244713088,0.0,0.0,0.24897059711924324,0.09649505968985664,0.1179327484663477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501169178901977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378771383034538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645765295155525,0.0,0.0,0.06169671620932991,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sonicphobic,2019/03/02,"Would it be unreasonable for me to get tested for some type of anxiety after seeing really terrible videos/pictures online? (TW: Mentions of murder and animal abuse) (I’m 16, turning 17 in April. One of my therapists from a few years ago actually wanted to get me tested for anxiety (not because of this, because of things regarding school) but my mom never took me to the appointment. Also, my mom doesn’t know about anything I’m about to mention in this post, I’m not supposed to have social media but I do anyways since she doesn’t check my phone at all, but I’d definitely get my phone taken away if I told her this.)

I don’t really know how to start explaining this, honestly. I’ve accidentally stumbled across some really horrible things on Tumblr and Instagram in the past few years, and they’ve sort of ‘stuck with me’ for a really long time honestly. I don’t want to give like specific details because they’re obviously very graphic but I’ve seen videos of people getting murdered, I’ve seen pictures of dead bodies and videos of animal abuse. 

I don’t really know how to explain how this stuff makes me feel, mostly because I’ve literally never talked to anyone about this. Like I can go about a month or two without thinking about any of these that much, like my mind will sorta like ‘drift’ to those things, but for some reason I don’t dwell on them (no idea why it’s only sometimes, honestly) but then like other times like... I can’t really ‘move on’ from those thoughts? And then I keep imagining the videos and pictures all over again even though I don’t want to? Like I try so hard to steer my mind away from those things when I get like that, but I can’t. And then my next week or two is just ruined, like I can’t concentrate in school because I just keep thinking about it, I have a hard time sleeping because I’m either laying in bed crying or too afraid to turn off the light (sometimes I have nightmares when/if I sleep), I can’t eat without feeling nauseous and I’m literally too afraid to go outside because I’m afraid of being murdered.

I personally think I have some form of anxiety or something, but I don’t want to self diagnose. I really want to talk to a doctor about this, because I absolutely hate feeling this way, but I just would like to know if it’s like justified or whatever. ",7.076241721854303,6.436617664459161,7.452486203090508,75.25038493377484,64.4083885209713,10.817108167770419,33.44453642384106,10.222266870305534,3.2173238410596032,1834,66,351,37,24,602,202,453,0.133,0.746,0.121,-0.8683,0,0,1,0,2,0,49.0,0,0,1,0,22,24,4,4,9,0,24,6,3,5,5,76,70,34,4,9,24,2,5,11,0,3,2,0,1,2,24,9,1,2,16,3,1,5,19,10,0,3,7,9,41,14,63,58,12,42,0,1,3,0,18,14,0,14,32,223,65,6,0.0,0.16313930961515274,0.06718244918431816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061026629961142415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505504316168292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0468167239992936,0.0,0.15799791054432372,0.0,0.0,0.04813778124779751,0.0,0.056653282476728815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936363316367416,0.0,0.0,0.3357364858942862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647088822027677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562261729291359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987587239591259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046541830231892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044526586490958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04547124321635725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044297734824914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798424455041144,0.06604206318734099,0.07825200427307033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334257106802506,0.06796984068800523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771723206842182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238457945904835,0.0,0.0,0.15134088071718976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699742132433033,0.0,0.0,0.060925350417205086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045954339655727636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902694580272365,0.16126004822892748,0.05495114424059888,0.07317096967506949,0.05060874043107075,0.0,0.10619447919356197,0.0,0.07321706820169427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046650917764892816,0.05235945994331785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572001006601952,0.04772821319948222,0.060112494478952484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593414599308754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087255276225204,0.07078376809825099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934892609925856,0.05486027412762946,0.0,0.07181998627515541,0.0,0.0,0.05694900737973211,0.0,0.13778874114362472,0.07017845268605864,0.0,0.05299997639149233,0.1361782419423152,0.0,0.04872859887676513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881065535820861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106694466356781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799339469265155,0.1829493102736521,0.13233861912094094,0.06763952083796075,0.05465496349715294,0.12043161027417965,0.0,0.0,0.06578401505582146,0.07648894125931252,0.04674099948217333,0.14976642381105004,0.13450244255472638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056804047719998675,0.20303179663884285,0.05464568013425235,0.055223027018659235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062121590137752015,0.0,0.0,0.1327275751923012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781053076075713,0.0,0.0,0.08866739718132854
mentalhealth,Valkallison,2019/03/02,"Help Sometimes I’m so drawn to blood and that kind of shit, it’s like I wanna see people suffer
Then I’d be really afraid of myself and I’ll hate that me.  It just feels like it wasn’t me but I know it’s me. It’s weird. I’ve never put it this way before is because whenever I do.   I get abandon. 

Sometimes I become this girl whos trying to fuck everyone, And if someone assaults me then I would enjoy it. 
Then the other one is the complete opposite. 
Sometimes I just selfharm and can’t stop and sometimes I can just stop for like a whole year. 

I know and remember what’s happening and happened but it’s like I’m watching a movie in 1st person view. 


I really want to know wtf is wrong with me. 
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mentalhealth,TheVoyd_,2019/03/02,"How to help yourself So... You have no resources, you live in a country with minimal mental health awareness (Mexico) yet, you’re upper middle class so you can afford access to the internet, a smartphone and for any online tasks. 
You feel numb most of the time, if not, exploding in agony, feeling worthless, observed, confused, unmotivated, anxious....  You’re impulsive and unfocused.
Sometimes you have bursts of energy and happiness but they don’t last long.
No one in your family takes your mental health seriously and they think you’re doing it for attention. 
You have no money of your own because you can’t stand the pain of getting out of bed to look for a job, and your loved ones won’t finance you in order to seek professional help...

That’s my situation. 
I’m tired of feeling like this. 

What can I do to make it better? 
What online recourses can I find to substitute professional help in the most basic way possible? 
I want to be better

Thanks
",4.668257575757576,6.934185522727272,5.5462272727272754,76.19725757575759,71.61363636363636,8.784242424242425,28.77878787878788,9.3871,2.879824696969697,756,30,129,18,15,247,110,176,0.132,0.6890000000000001,0.179,0.8879,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,12,2,2,4,11,0,1,7,0,12,6,0,2,0,22,24,10,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,6,0,2,0,7,5,0,2,0,4,18,6,23,22,3,15,0,1,1,1,18,8,0,4,5,86,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730041278024746,0.0,0.0,0.17825413529220635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618534907095966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790991472640886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874732193237936,0.0,0.239345192145186,0.11272289837787285,0.0,0.0,0.14421424713678407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243707371874975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796694825817562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33543991126338235,0.0,0.0,0.31728343317704083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15657902005251287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286172752013598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708664458463163,0.0,0.13932860667374475,0.1396363241615532,0.1325011452617939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240871826317042,0.0,0.1053238926794124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31802390001163866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138407947051531,0.0,0.16789624563558805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788087269326014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773589379101889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605514786040245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863601251087773,0.0,0.0,0.14526885638470538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110338959683987,0.0,0.0,0.09200673313810076,0.181352678109125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306672370835606,0.1252437918371033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daniel1150,2019/03/02,"You got this To all of you going through some shit, you got this. You already got this far so don't quit. Man, I just had a mental breakdown like 30 minutes ago but I bounced back and you will too like we always do. You can cry  you can open up to someone I know life's a bitch but what we do to bitches? Choke them and fuck them. So dont give up... you got this my friend!",-1.0747560975609716,0.8836476219512228,0.5592195121951207,105.65834146341464,91.07317073170731,3.28,16.736585365853657,3.1291,-1.3477404878048782,283,7,74,0,10,90,53,82,0.265,0.643,0.092,-0.9661,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,8,2,1,5,7,4,0,2,0,8,3,1,0,1,11,16,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,5,0,16,3,7,10,2,7,0,0,0,1,15,4,4,1,4,49,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919422527571832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22307810863092534,0.0,0.16820541377710901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554412600412479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22205283706070988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369188858677653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618097840781628,0.1868848841046695,0.0,0.19392118417813525,0.1148867903316428,0.0,0.6467129013554787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109663064275999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278487970866247,0.19752105107479886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037201623435592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21501194485313524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075045880041969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128146655521562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,radkarth,2019/03/02,"Dealing with high school to college transition with depression and anxiety? I'm a senior in high school that will be going to college in August and I'm currently looking at Pennsylvania or southern VA as far as schools go, leaning towards PA. I'm just nervous because I know PA doesn't have the sunniest weather and on top of my depression that's usually induced by stressors and anxiety, I think I have SAD too and I'm afraid that when I go to college and I have more freedom to let myself go, I'll get even more depressed because of the weather. Did anybody have to deal with this? Will medication help?",5.527628205128206,6.700640854700858,6.35135683760684,75.57524038461544,67.80341880341881,9.26880341880342,39.41132478632478,9.516144504307137,4.063291452991454,488,29,85,10,8,161,72,117,0.209,0.72,0.07,-0.9497,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,2,3,0,10,1,0,1,0,14,22,10,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,6,0,0,1,1,7,1,18,17,2,18,0,4,1,0,5,9,0,1,5,55,11,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24357415420420864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19409290834637224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282551060824241,0.4113545347476403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514967795030736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317509656191127,0.0,0.36190666743501415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670797737609347,0.3364057357500373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749180659307268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16279213496142705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368736970593045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037660980407287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.483354764427927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020085237516268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175335607050948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themufasapotato,2019/03/02,"Anxiety, depression, and client service. I work at an IT company, I love the place and the people but due to some fool in mnagement our department is hurting real bad and I've been told we're losing money. This means that even with my MCSE and AWS qualifications and 12 years experience in the industry, I'm still expected to interact with end users on a daily basis and do very basic stuff like install printers for clients and set up email accounts, etc which I am way overqualified and experienced for. I don't want to leave but I rarely get to do anything that I actually enjoy since we had to let a bunch of people go. I'm riddled with anxiety lately and feel like I'm going to have a panic attack everytime the phone rings. That being said I somehow manage to still do this job excellently and I feel like that might be part of the problem. The anxiety is driving me but its driving me right iff a cliff. 

How do I go about talking to my  boss about my depression and anxiety in a situation like this where I'm heavily depended on to keep our clients happy, without sounding like a brat who just feels they're too good for it. The company has done a lot for me and I've been there for 5 years, but the work I have to do is really getting me down and I'm fatigued and in a terrible mood everytime I get home.

Any advise would be appreciated. ",5.749850746268656,5.908315738805975,6.925335820895523,75.24494402985077,66.98507462686567,10.580597014925372,33.167910447761194,10.411451182825502,3.3943313432835818,1070,44,208,26,16,363,152,268,0.16699999999999998,0.685,0.14800000000000002,-0.4278,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,3,0,0,4,11,22,1,1,17,1,23,2,0,3,0,41,43,19,0,4,6,0,3,5,0,2,1,3,1,0,13,18,0,1,4,0,2,6,2,11,0,0,6,7,21,10,32,31,5,27,0,5,0,1,12,12,0,5,12,138,34,8,0.0,0.0,0.1127433656581606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785662787953495,0.0,0.353529161618836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507366610712713,0.0,0.0,0.1314352606159493,0.0,0.0,0.09646507816173258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990164956438919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823018610467485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023277857887819,0.0,0.1288496330477968,0.0763083374172309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130132661158083,0.0,0.0,0.17525059416981872,0.16507333813735553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810833886573554,0.0,0.19697989069373012,0.09690344726601642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298683428443595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588883755438315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236802723817546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146484959768295,0.10269087805221357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303260522303307,0.12233257383302505,0.0,0.1181401351450516,0.0,0.282217498186041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925167245217714,0.0,0.0982218713288283,0.10427287996428176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584910963551196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256206359343615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555287030871582,0.0,0.12511078452320315,0.0,0.16019181968780985,0.0,0.12070720608034954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054930485623213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150164151922694,0.07401328231948633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866439627362016,0.10989816773888067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955699418648336,0.12986372933379914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452931718885052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225743691529224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928609037086505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039655972577496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953266753551806,0.0681442500730667,0.09170457421270957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136951483989346,0.0,0.16821853662697428,0.0,0.0,0.08207119990910411,0.0,0.0,0.14879869525068345
mentalhealth,satisficeboaty,2019/03/02,"Not being able to deal with certain consequences As a kid I always did my homework. Even through most of high school, I've always gotten my assignments done, except for the uncommon occasion on which I forgot. The finished assignment is often shit, but still done by the deadline.

The past few weeks have been bad. I started cutting (this isn't the main thing the post is about, I'd prefer you comment about the main point) and have felt generally awful. My procrastination and distraction has reached a peak. I'm pretty much completely unable to do homework in 99% of scenarios. This leads to me staying up until 3-5, then doing some of my homework in the morning, and not finishing some of it. I don't know how to deal with the effect this has in me. I feel as if I've let my teachers down.

This Monday and Tuesday, I had moments in school when I felt incredibly trapped in and by myself because of this reaction. It felt like the only thing I was capable of doing was harming myself. On Monday at this point, I hit myself in the head with my fist. I'd done that a few times in the preceding weeks. I'm sure I could've hit harder, but it hurt and left me feeling bad about myself for the rest of the day. Some classmates were around. A couple gave me some attention for it. I wouldn't be surprised if that's part of the reason I did it, but I think most of it was the trapped and out-of-control feeling.

Sometimes I wish I had this feeling of being trapped more often, at home, so that I could cut more effectively. (I know the following is an awful and unproductive way to talk regarding cutting, but I genuinely can think of no other sufficiently effective way of conveying the feeling): I always pussy out. I feel like if I had that short bout of intense self-hatred and inability to anything, I could do better.",6.078062953995158,6.2623978474576285,6.684285714285719,77.16398305084748,66.28813559322035,9.567715899919287,32.958837772397096,9.362217197678863,2.9043617433414046,1434,57,270,25,21,471,175,354,0.162,0.728,0.111,-0.9773,0,3,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,0,5,11,15,4,1,23,2,34,2,2,6,2,61,57,23,0,8,10,0,9,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,21,14,0,1,19,0,0,2,6,9,0,0,19,9,37,6,50,29,15,43,0,1,0,0,7,20,1,11,19,207,58,9,0.10303802498351028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25720767297109365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479151515272274,0.09172568756519636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206489392010452,0.06281102366557653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112875980163032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803340881474872,0.0,0.11556590652010625,0.24680243600679666,0.11400961482969706,0.0,0.06645100199123677,0.2124553587470096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163310207889077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805564372685081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125947282674503,0.07361038563619063,0.296797987512716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574674010400896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088653305752076,0.10335554026550026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030433682796913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132540077075773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195111562977612,0.10536336158541612,0.0,0.10067834871053252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574480406998517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836506107118969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115801400749073,0.0983614538423078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948084768847057,0.0,0.098681945593376,0.1048267142468725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059402506418762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20855996444185493,0.0,0.0,0.10749113181605366,0.0,0.10576705194936746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019072413841684,0.0,0.07293084441713267,0.10982482498695983,0.0822862998514742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711211914202107,0.0,0.0,0.08281806147072845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690777070702442,0.13204521183267054,0.0,0.0,0.060082300977732185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16357357641324927,0.16530177696783044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848864364944435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mikikilla,2019/03/02,"Gets harder to move every day I just realized it's been... shit, it must be at least 2 weeks since ive last showered.

My mental illness is the wildest thing- besides adhd, anxiety, and depression, I have this slow fog in my brain that grows every day, making me less and less interested in... living, I guess. I dropped out of school cuz I just couldn't do the work, lost my job almost immediately, and drifted away from all my friends. Not because I didn't want to do the work or hang out with them, but becuase of this fuckin... THING that's sucking away my will to move.

I noticed the problem a long time ago, too. Despite that, however, none of my 3 therapists (each of which I saw until they basically pushed me out the door) knew what it was, simply giving me meds for the stuff they COULD identify... and hoping that would inadvertently fix the problem. Sadly that just postponed it, and here I sit, 3 years later, completely immune to the meds and utterly useless and a person.

Like??? It's fucking unfair. I wish this was something I could will myself through. I owe people money because of the shit I promised I'd do, I've hurt really good people because I just... never responded, and I'm ruining my life as the time ticks on. Better yet, I know for a fact its gonna get worse. Nothing ive tried works and I'm running out of time to find something that does, yet I CANT!!! Like literally I cant do things anymore how am I supposed to fix that!!!

One thing I really don't understand is... I was actually cured for a while. I drew every day, did favors for all my friends, grew my social circle, got a job!!! And became a leader for a multitude of internet projects. I was reliable for the first time in a long time. It was the best time in my life. But.... it faded. It lasted a half a year at most, during which I accomplished so much! But before I realized it, the fog was back, and all those responsibilities... Oof. I wasn't reliable anymore. All that damn work, gone within 4 months. And I... i dont know why??? Why did I suddenly have control over myself for so long?? Why did it fade???? Feels like life is fucking with me or some shit, I just don't understand.

At least I know I'll never off myself. Ironically enough, my spite towards this fog has kinda... become my new fuel source. Fuck the fog, ima go eat. Fuck the fog, ima take a shower. Fuck the fog, ima go see my friend for the first time in a year... and promptly give up halfway to the car. FUCK the fog.",1.4731836007130144,3.6842991656565687,3.3088294711824133,88.6271657754011,81.58585858585859,6.2257872846108135,22.231134878193693,7.436932879493709,0.88337908496732,1897,62,397,29,51,634,243,495,0.155,0.726,0.119,-0.9704,6,0,2,0,0,0,117.0,0,0,3,11,14,34,13,0,31,0,38,17,4,4,8,67,73,25,0,10,11,0,1,3,3,5,5,0,3,1,32,20,1,1,10,0,2,12,12,21,0,4,17,3,55,13,48,47,15,70,0,6,2,7,11,20,12,8,39,257,87,9,0.0,0.0,0.06669435889773097,0.0,0.08213679005256877,0.0,0.06058326259855248,0.0,0.06843712974441159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05228334423089385,0.0,0.13555872952585862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842378751125405,0.05255269058608927,0.0,0.12498649176883853,0.0754811145231111,0.0581561232294634,0.0,0.07172332086232819,0.060445143342426386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629504853659498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716578925883902,0.0,0.07665415177723402,0.1091350206320848,0.0,0.0,0.1322296171708564,0.0,0.05886500509168405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05980871970112313,0.0,0.08009922783504032,0.0,0.0,0.06993347073951335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061812300613443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727495297598421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034557025318430856,0.04882531399479472,0.0,0.0,0.06246562145139619,0.11626756866144965,0.0,0.0,0.158408339552587,0.3791002525441572,0.07141434556867451,0.13112451594251445,0.07768349205514155,0.05732411173516575,0.054661328327414285,0.0,0.07528915584596038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678814949623553,0.0,0.0,0.07316418510875636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564271197912867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268102536823345,0.11141975476553248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482119358225978,0.1001689899961426,0.0,0.060349432699099224,0.1814481565957965,0.0,0.0,0.07460607919842646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045620474679311684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183063214021375,0.0,0.06887516644517667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455191616739925,0.14527874382832692,0.05024106055454455,0.0,0.105422960822129,0.06600752983907289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557837696084358,0.07781064956295226,0.0,0.0,0.046311992046972776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947629215463826,0.05967576844389525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079288472425601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756645476030474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916826791904689,0.0544617062390468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21046389624642955,0.05653526453959586,0.0,0.0,0.06966859599730044,0.0,0.1052298476742809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782380844587111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138654741218965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935321515003071,0.18162015686578206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278965533163527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046401419307445936,0.0,0.0,0.14229803910838676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0403113482080165,0.0,0.05482182367744433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850108031895962,0.0,0.07859278525715449,0.0,0.0,0.19902239727466314,0.0,0.06964886941134503,0.04854996149841317,0.0,0.0,0.13203482342348616
mentalhealth,latterdaymormon,2019/03/02,I'm pushing away all my friends. I don't feel down or anything but keeping up all of my relationships is exhausting. People I used to love taking to I now am to tired to do it. Even my best friend and family members. What is the reasoning for this?,1.6788235294117655,3.7802655098039244,3.6585882352941184,86.99964705882354,80.17647058823529,7.217254901960787,25.88627450980392,8.238735603445708,1.7537733333333332,195,8,41,4,5,66,40,51,0.109,0.615,0.276,0.9161,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,2,2,9,11,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,4,9,11,3,5,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,1,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349940005044666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255172278961096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850220133477122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938582080532234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25603543020999336,0.0,0.13732650431054386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4196669770028344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24140595997909856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24512493383067485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882896550600719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792447147218239,0.0,0.29159120111685044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20420550842205576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121582987592383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345707275170207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayacc2338,2019/03/02,Do i have a problem? I can't remember the majority of my life before around 3-5 years ago  (I'm 15) so I am just wondering if this is normal or not.,-1.6647058823529406,0.08726047058823383,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,91.35294117647058,6.929411764705884,20.264705882352946,8.07648339933343,1.0864941176470584,112,4,28,3,4,44,31,34,0.094,0.906,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,9,7,3,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32259148256987163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32396430878851185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30966754196491564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25704615181044965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35656252003699496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34822052150255256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4122483225503513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3946537101612724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343513571906977
mentalhealth,doyalikejazz,2019/03/02,"How to stop clenching teeth? I constantly have my teeth clenched to the point where my jaw makes a clicking sound when I open my mouth.

Everytime I realise I can relax my jaw for maybe a few seconds and then it goes back to being clenched.

Has anyone had any success in stopping this? ",3.4238181818181843,5.670285563636366,3.2890909090909126,91.0736363636364,75.18181818181819,5.854545454545455,29.181818181818183,6.742157984588678,1.4100181818181825,226,10,44,2,5,68,43,55,0.068,0.807,0.125,0.6322,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,0,5,5,5,2,0,6,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,8,2,5,4,1,10,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,6,31,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426405471973337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494872896917644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743620517823012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855808966976068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23817100317241616,0.0,0.3584599274282691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372973221166084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.59661215538291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bigtitsRmarvelous,2019/03/02,"Can someone off the internet track you with a First and Last name? You're probably wondering what this has to do with mental health.. Well, firstly, for a year, I've been living in fear/paranoia that my old friend that I blocked a year ago is going to hurt me or kill me as retribution for closing the friendship. He never said he was angry, or anything, or that he'd kill me. But I've still been paranoid. Two years ago or so, my first and last name got leaked, including my state, but I am not on google or on any search engines. Do you think by now he'd forgotten about me? Or is he searching for me? I feel delusional, idk. ",3.6867366579177614,4.649604795275593,4.407821522309714,88.59411198600176,71.91338582677166,7.8491688538932625,27.496937882764648,8.167268648758528,1.5577636045494319,487,17,106,7,9,156,83,127,0.151,0.8059999999999999,0.044,-0.8919,0,0,0,0,0,2,20.0,0,2,0,3,5,5,2,0,5,0,12,1,0,0,1,21,18,12,2,0,9,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,5,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,3,1,4,5,2,15,2,14,11,0,21,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,7,14,69,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887358939317564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075221311990747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402211600494865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18326580331735384,0.08234826888621444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155927594456301,0.0,0.0,0.12582730929618796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255861916397402,0.0,0.13025616994825154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311542229222399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17434787666643442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603668698775955,0.0,0.0,0.2655096565784141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381073791051593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412728450284686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560974569664912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089699534428496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559352410476992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491971214022052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799302763152108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006235357923238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435583481590803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590931819919089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464331161696616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661763864490462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146346955917555
mentalhealth,tonyb1999,2019/03/03,"I don’t know if this belongs here. I don’t really have anyone to talk to, and this seems like an area I’m able throw down what’s going through my head and can rant. So here’s a quick run through of where I’m at in life and what I’m stuck with hopefully get some ideas and maybe see how those experiencing similar issues can relate.

Right now I’m 19 just recently quit community college because I felt it wasn’t for me even though I chose a degree program (accounting) even though I never had an interest in this field. I finished the semester though for two reason one would be so I would be safe from having to repay my financial aid loan which could’ve costed me thousands, as well as in case I wanted to try again and actually be accepted for financial aid. The main thing going through my head from this experience is that I keep thinking maybe if I tried something I liked than I’d enjoy it.

Semesters over, come my 19th birthday and a little bit of thinking about my life between this time, I have come to multiple conclusions about where I should lead my life from here. My first option was to attempt another semester of community college with a field that I may be more optimistic about (computer science). My second idea is that I could join the military since I’ve always felt a small desire to serve and I know I have a timer when it comes to this decision. My final decision was to go to work with my dad who is a window installer.

I chose that I’m going to join the work force with my dad and all is going well. It turns I’m pretty good at construction who would of thought, I’m got a pretty good paycheck at the end of the week, and my dad who usually settles for bad employees has me who actually is catching on really quick so he making more money than he ever had in a long time. I’ve been construction for about three months a beginning to feel as if this isn’t something I can see myself doing for a career. I’m starting to think about my ability to still try college again, as well as I still watch military stuff in the internet and still feel the desire to serve. But now I’m stuck at the thought that if I should do what I think what is best for my future but my mind counters this idea with the fact that worker with my dad has built a stronger relationship between us, he’s been noticeably happier, and he’s not as financially stressed which decreased many of the arguments between him and my mom. The first thought that comes to my head is that if I quit working for him than it’s all going to go back to how it used to be and I’d immediately blame myself.

I like working with my dad because we spend more time together since I’m normally cooped up playing video games in my free time. The money’s good and Im not following the footsteps of immediate gratification but I feel but something in my heart tells me this is not what I’m meant to and there’s more for me out there but I find it difficult to stomach the idea ruining the progress that my father is making now as well.
",6.684067148760331,5.930121433057858,7.074677169421487,78.01474302685953,65.24793388429752,10.736053719008266,33.2864152892562,10.125756701596842,3.048819214876033,2397,87,488,48,32,784,251,605,0.036000000000000004,0.8440000000000001,0.12,0.9911,2,0,3,0,0,0,31.0,2,0,0,14,40,22,0,1,30,0,42,8,5,7,5,96,96,41,0,16,14,7,5,3,0,6,3,0,1,0,39,28,0,2,26,3,7,16,8,4,4,7,16,9,59,19,84,68,10,69,0,1,3,0,23,22,0,10,34,334,98,12,0.06705759504052909,0.0,0.13087707917035832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055797290945657135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031573525941537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0468882296190831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156315136785087,0.055990290861225714,0.08175537506122389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037280887019136,0.0,0.07320952601941143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23105672176866096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708006622738513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059393125457207374,0.0,0.0,0.0885818181780567,0.06065743383392708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559519529328872,0.0,0.0,0.10171900472334144,0.0,0.12877161454816854,0.07345831761754909,0.061289427016279076,0.11407831217017148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035034825708508015,0.0,0.2667726362309177,0.16873418758184494,0.05363208458179911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064613158846612,0.0,0.0,0.07946357299275879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660332250897984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027994500889431,0.07243370978485418,0.06999070711216651,0.0,0.0596038715824001,0.0,0.0,0.0737062010533206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420942875174412,0.0982828611805278,0.06720932689292508,0.0,0.059343861431413965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952293080062472,0.0679858762653717,0.1347367347431757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770905501940001,0.07853704485069428,0.053524732594575984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05171895126486015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570220546417904,0.0,0.07634551640838973,0.0,0.0,0.04543996186366272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644336359360526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264801321626255,0.0,0.0,0.08591762498163769,0.06894637612834671,0.06621128521397865,0.07199476146915075,0.0,0.05726681976813741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687244254240848,0.061046716017761876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109414711431849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154872638399634,0.0,0.0,0.047463710913234015,0.0,0.16065684606357994,0.0,0.07681424855496223,0.0,0.07676490293235486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05389835479702297,0.05861129374856671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044550086472651684,0.17187119693983174,0.19765123997194,0.1597087201683832,0.15640729172410778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658311576912546,0.07293940733093847,0.0655055265049435,0.0,0.08066203024985115,0.057916231733156874,0.07385446711147474,0.0,0.03955230695728261,0.0,0.05378955788973334,0.0,0.2411713249393949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952749113664301,0.0,0.0,0.14290737462119546,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stuckinmyhead13,2019/03/03,"Mind numb / blank My mind is constantly numb and blank. It's like I'm on auto pilot everyday. My brain has shutdown, I can't feel emotions or pleasure anymore. This has been going on for 6 months! Anyone else experience this ",1.1386378737541565,3.7225103720930255,2.721993355481729,86.4883720930233,96.44186046511628,5.2478405315614625,22.421926910299007,6.868970318607317,1.1799926910299003,178,7,32,3,7,58,35,43,0.106,0.7509999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.4003,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,0,5,8,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,2,3,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271033233543943,0.1910928295418792,0.28002098878603465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050853866894772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953326586627829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283012447333841,0.3074178561523809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26733300819370576,0.0,0.0,0.13818515925125402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531871771248704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335171619191398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5518960734656522,0.0,0.2181398761493692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,orangesunshne,2019/03/03,"Male(20) any suggestions? I guess my history is I've never felt truly like I fit in with other people. But I smoked weed around 14 for the first time and I got depersonalization and derealization. Then I did lsd, Lsa, shrooms, dmt. All that from 14 till I quit it all a very short time ago. 

I don't want to self diagnose, but idk what's wrong with me, my guess was maybe schizophrenia because I heard that comes from psychedelic use. It's hard to describe but I'm severely depressed, feel very little emotion, and I constantly feel like I'm going insane. All day my mind just does scary things. I'll see a window and my mind will picture me smashing my head through it and being stabbed over and over. I'll see my own finger and not recognize it as my own and it'll trigger a million thoughts of it being like a demons finger. And I can't stop the thought progression till another pops in.

It's hard to describe and I've heard the saying if you think you're a psychopath then you're not. So I know that's not it. So I really have no idea what's happening. I hardly sleep anymore because my mind won't stop. My body will be tired but my mind won't be.  I can't go to a psychiatrist because I can't afford it. I just want to find a cheap medication to make it all stop. It's been going on for a few months now. 

I've tried just about every illegal drug there is and the only that helps is oxycodone, but I know where that can lead so I try to only use it once a month or so. I feel so alone but at the same time I don't want to talk to anyone and push people away. I'm on my second year of mechanical engineering but I really don't feel like I'm working towards anything. 

I just don't know where to turn or what to do. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you",1.9797708795269773,3.797818644986453,3.608849470312887,89.10496674057653,77.99728997289972,6.749150036954916,23.105937423010587,7.686295010490155,0.9218086720867208,1396,44,307,21,33,464,177,369,0.166,0.777,0.057,-0.9888,1,1,2,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,0,5,16,8,0,0,14,0,27,9,5,5,5,70,62,32,0,5,17,0,10,4,0,6,4,3,1,1,22,16,0,3,13,0,1,6,14,2,0,3,9,15,37,6,34,42,8,40,1,1,2,0,10,15,0,5,23,186,59,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941221812918531,0.0,0.0,0.09278365116198196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184254318788446,0.09393829971796368,0.0,0.0,0.08884483054136415,0.06264032582397477,0.0,0.07372130541438995,0.07975016621838976,0.0,0.0,0.08416860853465759,0.0,0.0,0.1638316281068986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950939220710467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717005127400797,0.0,0.09681019434087723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777529277622415,0.0,0.07715993533547512,0.09092748566002336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839695142213048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389084008325533,0.0,0.0,0.10077172816823413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547972135420862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118865936075088,0.12799992337399285,0.08601621299958036,0.0,0.08187960409368765,0.0762014550543014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274066181441834,0.0,0.07164977820906189,0.0987684266024097,0.19737724943669466,0.0,0.07922023926055344,0.0,0.2407532702814806,0.0,0.09194065832816332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004733099030905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011312240139058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770168825104216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506797184923967,0.08978829376124317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979907537163631,0.0,0.09000076387332827,0.0,0.0,0.0902480546329456,0.0,0.0,0.3618236220138688,0.0,0.14301272266423126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909392793936041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954057270449248,0.0,0.1362677525137015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421473313951258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528529972874758,0.0,0.0,0.11478164278314895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124205496785085,0.0,0.0,0.14277622927643824,0.0,0.09345730576552012,0.10120621447300623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965028524769075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246926878513624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200550187733308,0.0,0.08247837286589804,0.0,0.0,0.059516683713675335,0.057402827231537785,0.0,0.14224189950656488,0.15671422968680604,0.1029654543827497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164546686644538,0.09744339416811933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474636836299974,0.0,0.14783498387616822,0.15851970196070475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652193747376134,0.0,0.0,0.06363903110044218,0.09794777666788572,0.0,0.057690181240502514
mentalhealth,myHEXOR,2019/03/03,"Schizophrenia? voices comforting me now asking for help I would like some opinions, similar experiences or advice.

Ever since i was little, very rarely i would hear people calling my name even tho it was unlikely for someone to do that at the time. I did not thought much of it for the most part since it always happend in public places and i would usually turn my head to check who it was calling only to assume that it must have been another person with my name being called.

​

At teenage years, when sitting at home late at night with parents out or simply listening to my music, i would hear people talk. Nothing unusual as living in a house directly adjacent  to the next one. Even when it happend late at night i just assumed it would be the neighbours, the tv in the living room downstairs or comming from my sisters room upstairs.

​

It was only recently that i started to think more of it. For some reason i have been living with these voices or sounds all my life, frequently or not depending on how good or bad i feel, without thinking much of it or talking to someone about it. It's just there and i got used to it.  I am 29 now and these voices have been with me since i am very little. 

They never scared me or made me uncomftable. The more i focus on them the clearer they get.

​

The feeling i get from those voices comforts me. Like when you're little and falling asleep at your parents 'parties' - when hearing people around gave you a level of comfort and security. Like the engine if your dads car humming as you have the greatest man alive giving you a ride home late, to the place where you love everything and everything loves you, occasionally checking on you as you pretend to be asleep. 

​

I know i must sound like a maniac already. How can someone possibly be okay with voices in their head or why did i not go and find mental help and to be honest, i never felt it was anyones buisness to get involved. In some way i protected what i had.  I am considering consulting a professional now tho and the reason for that follows.

Nothing that i would consider 'bad' happend and i also can not really think of anything that i thought was traumatic but the voices turned into noises that sound similar to strong winds passing the window. Somtimes one of the voices i usually heared tangled up in a vast ocean of windy, unclear sound. I describe those sounds as if they were a strong overwhelimg force but in reality, they are still very subtile and easy to miss or overhear. The feelings i get from this are so strong too. It feels like they need my attention or even asking for help. Never before have i encountered the feel of these voices having a existence or consciousness behind them. 

​

It's my first attempt to try and explain my situation and english is my second language so bear with me please.

Usually i would just 'deal' with it and move on but if there is a chance that someone out there has similar experiences or advice im taking it. 

​

TL;DR - Lived my whole life with Schizophrenia""?"" and did not think of it as something bad. Voices / Sounds turned into something unpleasent. 

​",5.805317325571995,7.335829988115453,5.806280620907106,78.41237832484441,67.45500848896435,8.190168970814133,32.02041393807098,8.563005593585519,2.6650610882043817,2529,106,430,38,42,795,262,589,0.03,0.853,0.117,0.992,2,0,2,0,0,0,77.0,0,9,8,5,29,23,1,1,27,1,45,8,4,7,7,105,86,50,0,13,28,4,6,5,1,9,2,20,5,2,35,28,0,2,21,2,2,7,9,6,0,4,20,26,64,17,72,52,12,69,0,1,0,2,52,33,0,25,32,328,99,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909100857541485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503045987302156,0.0364546107192402,0.0379306866829618,0.3457421699377947,0.3877385711455567,0.0,0.047800244022681584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03187435656208388,0.0,0.03751288238193018,0.04058065152907457,0.08523235065292728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141856608422142,0.0,0.0,0.03878979958420945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964330460702234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046996523589255816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090326137725701,0.04123458466806173,0.0,0.0,0.08193839767249793,0.08918249464837427,0.0,0.0,0.11524668529222667,0.0325662035108742,0.043769112104768526,0.0,0.04166421010290424,0.038774899667280975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526591520264653,0.04372964884469606,0.02590722111866836,0.0382348527046139,0.03645879149236122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935674994520215,0.0,0.2055121384687368,0.0,0.0916647549359026,0.0,0.09145170288600656,0.0,0.0,0.05259940638229308,0.0,0.0,0.049240031273377255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025052531864564395,0.0,0.15426687753185928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439660191282996,0.11135356665058617,0.13706557490566046,0.1610108975237065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822851677417749,0.043133987347802376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04593933973549223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048450043125394415,0.06702099664104091,0.03380098054968031,0.10547476245268148,0.0,0.048480567192697416,0.08555757937352107,0.0,0.08748080023601434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177966446489185,0.06933946901459323,0.0,0.0,0.10123433632331387,0.04936452265595452,0.0,0.09480948515846233,0.03980339419873235,0.09525403636463152,0.050039056563957886,0.0,0.05139066493305982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029203160749297637,0.09373872267013718,0.04501006181059257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563891631499847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312608849175285,0.051239875389768236,0.0,0.0,0.1544973731015127,0.07018770294327797,0.0,0.0,0.032265565531021154,0.0,0.036404542157464574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034274531463841955,0.07327960099439597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683707955104206,0.0,0.0723793971902533,0.026581200792954847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030949479700648576,0.14875140492064098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03937113079320863,0.15061756250159802,0.11283813405585913,0.0,0.036183551630901915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04113371374682828,0.050894447150790216,0.0,0.04394267815878794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22667781486048275,0.0,0.3877385711455567,0.02935548918053725
mentalhealth,dryadanae,2019/03/03,"What’s it called when your senses are too sensitive? I don’t mean having heightened senses, like you can see or hear really well. What I mean is, it’s kind of like misophonia, but it’s not just sound, it’s light and odors too. 

Every day when I wake up, the world is just too much. Too bright and too loud. Even strong smells make me want to retreat. It does improve, but I need at least an hour or two, sometimes more, before I can tolerate having bright lights or music or the TV on, or even listening to someone eat. It’s like I have to gradually ease into existence, every single day. 

Later in the day, after I’ve been awake for a long time, I can handle the world just fine for the most part. 

Anybody know what this is called? I’ve had it for years but didn’t when I was a kid. ",3.5525252525252498,4.1851813456790135,4.430179573512909,89.53126262626266,71.96296296296295,7.619304152637486,22.134680134680128,7.686295010490155,0.6390666666666669,606,12,136,7,11,196,99,162,0.0,0.794,0.206,0.9847,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,1,14,9,0,0,8,0,15,2,1,1,0,22,24,13,0,2,12,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,1,11,3,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,4,11,11,9,13,20,6,19,0,0,3,0,7,7,0,6,15,90,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445476919972547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469145256430016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3286581861777964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865523893326155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17382042040300338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224396359785804,0.0,0.2862472534705857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914569397850728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672886969409982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689448473729408,0.0933566478436928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248971140261684,0.0,0.0,0.15033047136236372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339019791079953,0.0,0.0,0.3700785922000265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487471556519596,0.1259571788994063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839537170325868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882369928650466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536517742122092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393112970963512,0.0,0.16800674235190866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990531342343239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593926378904553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001943049363096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15273441128838075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939134138306787
mentalhealth,jotar0_,2019/03/03,"Home sickness or depression? Hi I wanted to ask if you think i exhibit any signs of mild depression. I have been thinking about this for a while and I just have to get this off my chest.

[CONTEXT]
I recently moved to America last year and I'm in my last year of highschool. For some odd reason my will, passion, drive or general deaire for learning has just disappeared. I was an honor student before and I still get straight A's here. The only problem is that I tend to skip school a lot in the US. I never did that before in my home country. I used to actually like going to school. 

Maybe its due to the fact that I don't have the same type of friends. I do have plenty of friends here, though just not the same as back home. Maybe its because class starts way too early here. Maybe because of the different  classroom set up.

Where I come from, you have one room for the entire day for the entire year, here its 7 classrooms for each day and a bigger school population.

I just chalked it up to me being lazy but I just had to ask for a different opinion. I have trouble sleeping, My sleep schedules seems wack and I always tend to be tired. I tend to know care more about my self image, eventhough no one is really bullying me or anything. I just tend to worry less about important stuff and stress about other things.

Am i just home sick or do I actually have something that I need to talk to a therapist about. I don't really know what to do, I just hope i won't stay like this through college.

",2.557355555555553,4.546157713333336,3.5326666666666675,89.52522222222223,76.86666666666667,6.711111111111113,24.777777777777786,7.662118739084242,1.192244444444444,1174,41,244,17,27,376,159,300,0.129,0.79,0.081,-0.9502,2,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,1,2,0,1,22,13,0,1,15,0,24,7,3,2,2,44,46,15,0,5,15,0,0,2,2,2,3,0,5,1,15,8,0,0,7,0,0,5,6,5,0,2,4,0,36,8,41,38,7,34,0,2,0,1,10,10,0,10,18,173,51,12,0.0,0.0,0.19081948908517765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135275189575546,0.0,0.0,0.06648718127019594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045665607953942,0.0,0.1828041325514488,0.0,0.0,0.07517935349724268,0.0,0.1191997788920942,0.0,0.1663907098775393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968337375701936,0.0,0.0,0.08422048741667226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261075569582636,0.0,0.1684188945247313,0.0,0.0,0.2042983838444985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107423836053174,0.0,0.10216193063391456,0.0,0.05556513515275308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922864754605965,0.0971080043434931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107464039666538,0.15939174639159787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553129534564224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831208434950622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294670331669362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391439444963642,0.0,0.0724954654123515,0.07540651058949513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250342018387418,0.0743587463427271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355300752395476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526836178142006,0.1005241891894644,0.09653641184762844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29684639968107346,0.0,0.08900644203462292,0.1019957835232404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568188943648665,0.0,0.0,0.07526838139529851,0.0,0.0,0.06920234714866068,0.10421016957954074,0.0780795167450823,0.0,0.111995589729202,0.0,0.11192364354462774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858409272346384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351889591902345,0.06495426696027025,0.12529456722451265,0.09605885886100336,0.0,0.0,0.11237261880782376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760567624537704,0.08444217902108223,0.0,0.0,0.05766747740377558,0.07760554200191372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929052224614372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888267286409455
mentalhealth,Somesortaasian,2019/03/03,"I feel nothing towards people I care about First off, sorry for any bad formatting. I've always been particularly trash at writing things.

​

Anyways, I am currently a high school student in grade 12. When I was around 10 or 11 my parents went through a nasty divorce and since then I have always felt as though my father ditched myself and my brother. About a year after, my brother started playing basketball very often and my mom had to take him to all his practices and games since he is actually pretty good. So within the span of a year or so I went from having someone around the house at all times with me to being alone most of the time. Over the years I have slowly built up a lack of emotion towards my family and close friends.

​

Around October of 2018 I started smoking weed with some of my friends, and for once feel as though I have some people who care about me. Since then, I talked to my dad about it, (he was cool with it) and our relationship has been getting better, but I still feel as though I can't trust him fully. Pretty recently my mom found out I have been smoking and she is not too pleased with it. I don't know why but I feel as though I should be more upset or feel bad about disappointing my mom, but I feel nothing towards it, and I am kind of concerned. If anyone is willing to help talk me through this it would be greatly appreciated.",6.686654366543664,6.384683815498158,6.478140221402218,80.79622632226324,65.08856088560887,8.850282902829028,33.56482164821648,8.021203637495839,2.3470012792127912,1098,42,215,11,15,345,151,271,0.114,0.7929999999999999,0.094,-0.6908,2,1,0,0,1,0,31.0,1,0,0,2,19,15,0,1,9,1,25,0,0,0,2,45,42,29,0,4,8,8,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,8,18,0,0,9,2,0,2,3,4,0,1,10,8,37,11,44,26,7,34,0,1,0,0,25,17,0,8,15,161,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.08580837560824214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107042596818606,0.0,0.0,0.1463319606378165,0.19054730022627875,0.21369258467566607,0.05979637667952877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061483689035001426,0.0,0.0,0.2348328024684921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468381152480034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776818983407932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17930387337785894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989110052783926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828939112336486,0.0,0.2667645891588289,0.0,0.08442794673348435,0.0,0.0,0.07479441565708023,0.0,0.09641225662416593,0.1358711843545815,0.0,0.04594053447436396,0.0,0.0,0.07375269801637288,0.0,0.09694469413782476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589385731543709,0.09290436644756228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146104562567347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156703622044844,0.04832480541842942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30895262729408685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874512612569398,0.0,0.0,0.09364408592433096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763742904180607,0.0,0.0,0.12192114146048146,0.0,0.0,0.09652228704258724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891571949358895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682166300105358,0.0944054310064379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899128519805027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821332245642225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450400156310617,0.0,0.0,0.09843201869635608,0.12447661453392918,0.0,0.07022214064498808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661134799768789,0.14135187925669185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841772413714995,0.0,0.3455686704187644,0.0,0.10254702902301484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255262530625209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302660307638844,0.07934442409649099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246395348682578,0.0,0.21369258467566607,0.16987484262444685
mentalhealth,DotFlop,2019/03/03,"I don't remember anymore I think I've had anxiety and OCD my whole life.  I have always been obsessive over small things, the insignificant things. Like how I moved my hands when someone was talking to me, the tone of my voice when I was speaking, the responses I want aren't coming. Did I sound enthused about them? Was I too enthused? Will they remember me? Am I worth anything? 

I would always re organize my room, something had moved just a bit and I would want to re-arrange everything. I struggle to finish any art I do for ""fun"" because its not perfect. I've been assigning numbers to people for as long as I can remember, Im 22. I don't know why, I just do. My close friends have numbers my parents don't - everyone says its something with seeing letters as colors but I just see people as numbers, the good people. I remember all of these events, I remember how my room used to look, life before a brother, life without my pets.

Yet I can't remember what being happy was like. I've had depression for 4ish 5 years now, I cant pin down a day when ""the hammer struck"" I just know that one day I started to look in the mirror and hated myself more and more. I've been going through a really rough patch for 7 months. I have only just recently told one of my dearest friends. Shes been great and really supportive. I still feel broken. The more time I sit alone the more I feel like I should end everything. The only thing that keeps me here is my pets. If I killed myself today, no one would care for them. They would starve, my baby girl, my crested gecko, shes 4, I hatched her she would starve, she wouldn't survive, my parents don't care about her. My fish would die, lack of food or water changes. They have been my only anchor for as long as I can remember. 

I feel overwhelmed. There does not seem to be a point in living if  I cant remember how to be happy. I feel like I've fucked up my relationship. I feel like I cant trust her, everything says I should, shes kind and genuine and puts in the effort to give me thoughtful gifts. I feel like I am stabbing her in the back and cheating her out of knowing me because I'm too scared to tell her how I feel. I feel like I am broken for not wanting sex. I wonder why she stays with me even though I feel worthless. Do I have a personality? Is she with me because its ""convenient"". I keep myself busy and so does she. I notice a lot of the same  tendencies in her but I don't know for a fact that shes going through the same thing. I cant talk to her because shes busy, she feels the same hurt I do when I'm alone. But i'm always alone. I have my animals and I have and Dark souls. I've only ever had myself.

 Its one of the only games I can play day after day because I relate to the world and the message of the game. The celebration of life and the want to continue on despite the same trials over and over again. I fight being alone I fight feeling worthless, but I cant join her in her fight. I sit and watch from 3000 miles away someone struggle and find small copes that only keep them above the water. I want to live and I hope that  eventually I will remember what it is like to be happy. I hope that one day Ill be able to look outside and praise the sun. I hope that one day I will feel like I deserve love and can finally let myself be happy. I hope that one day, Ill be able to talk to my S/O without feeling like I need to hide how broken I am. I hope that eventually I can make the world better for people like me. 

And maybe if I keep Dark Souls and my pets close to my heart, Ill be able to remember what being happy was like. I want to live, I just need to remember how. and maybe one day Ill be able to help her in her battles and hope that I can trust her with mine.

​

This inst really targeted towards anyone, I just want something I can send off when I'm at a loss for how to describe my situation. Thank you for reading and I hope that you too can find some relief.",2.343002569569734,3.8263933882783903,3.7868372423596313,89.68490405117274,76.04517704517706,6.794314143567876,23.823392196526534,7.487627976209742,0.9156338126218726,3071,95,671,39,67,1014,290,819,0.155,0.653,0.192,0.9855,2,4,3,0,3,0,94.0,0,2,6,6,35,62,8,5,33,0,82,16,2,9,4,135,147,52,2,29,20,3,15,12,2,12,8,5,5,2,25,32,3,4,34,5,1,7,19,18,0,8,17,27,144,44,81,106,14,71,3,6,7,3,60,28,1,15,45,450,169,2,0.15316960983922587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863752225604824,0.0,0.0,0.09558703916088848,0.041489802066803534,0.046529460300977314,0.026040146775100043,0.0,0.029293583070837362,0.0,0.03797577376464451,0.026774938142600912,0.0,0.03151138450027988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03597697261979611,0.029444493842648363,0.0,0.11671346561134105,0.0,0.032584014124587966,0.0,0.0,0.033866518176619856,0.041805385840822974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808331272523175,0.0,0.04050828441110427,0.03298551407809063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975634538812684,0.0,0.032981190128224334,0.0,0.039741468162603835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701987888104625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03391570279218318,0.0,0.0,0.02529177068045344,0.03463767030630883,0.0,0.036590031535201586,0.10324422666752966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25170326014127103,0.1914926997792867,0.0,0.0419474551768728,0.06999712424580194,0.0,0.0463033250518342,0.0,0.05916923030407035,0.035400709038538335,0.0,0.036733561680965525,0.04352490953333799,0.03211785041255637,0.0,0.04221750889599272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038148723139721,0.0,0.03780581972849124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04537668128560012,0.0256665901996068,0.0,0.0,0.2662309706145725,0.0,0.0,0.040992808815528116,0.0,0.041362365665844086,0.0,0.0,0.13614418694356314,0.04236486983034928,0.039875644568238236,0.08417801183628296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039156575904793864,0.10818822519296006,0.224492803414822,0.0,0.10143867876403136,0.06777514237059225,0.09646792163471883,0.0,0.0,0.03255483122205701,0.034560388255183705,0.0,0.02556047598729898,0.0,0.0769397302391709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030564630312588274,0.08139752751789951,0.0,0.056786662445353436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435961540008243,0.0,0.0,0.20758338337543836,0.1747385855545391,0.0,0.0,0.08503836266261484,0.0,0.0,0.1061885216100586,0.03343544882108652,0.0,0.0,0.036198697522807084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03849444090463329,0.0,0.0,0.03830276492773785,0.0,0.07359328064626712,0.0,0.037809127799205054,0.04111170971026127,0.4771561006214288,0.0,0.0,0.06090331076106596,0.038337375025886106,0.0,0.061028174052812835,0.0348599650373505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043042264753592525,0.0,0.0,0.06489005668130247,0.0884380866332374,0.0,0.0,0.027103559550964846,0.04081460605588565,0.030580362068714187,0.0,0.0,0.0800630664458592,0.0,0.0,0.04345376452588907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233394782030166,0.033469247555829834,0.035254499438468354,0.0,0.0,0.1017590827585694,0.024536225316800327,0.03762209099561328,0.030399890250224944,0.022328607813656528,0.0,0.036296720118799225,0.036590031535201586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033072341069509965,0.0,0.0,0.15810095764911933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691058744355576,0.04275209984584514,0.0,0.07382501900737011,0.04152647702313237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321094426848304,0.0,0.046529460300977314,0.024659051718385137
mentalhealth,thebranman18,2019/03/03,"How do I open up to people? I’ve never opened myself up to anyone one before. I have not once in my memory even opened up and told my parents how I’m actually feeling. I always put on a happy face, and I’m really good at reading people so I get along with almost everyone, and people tend to open up to me, but I can’t quite reciprocate. What’s the best way to go about this? I haven’t felt any emotions in a while l, I think because I’ve had several concussions in the past few years, but they are starting to come back and every emotion is just so overwhelming, even happiness is almost too much for me now. How do I go about opening up to my friends, I feel like if I open up it can be used against me and I think that’s why I never have. Any advice is welcome because this is an entirely new thing for me. Thank you. ",2.5593766578249344,3.581898005747128,4.549540229885056,86.28409814323608,74.6896551724138,7.652696728558798,24.87886825817861,8.139509932561175,1.334746772767463,639,20,140,10,13,220,106,174,0.0,0.818,0.182,0.9859,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,2,13,9,0,1,5,0,14,1,1,4,2,32,30,14,0,1,5,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,14,0,0,5,1,0,4,5,1,0,1,3,3,22,8,25,26,3,31,0,1,0,0,6,17,0,3,10,99,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.13062570582870736,0.0,0.0,0.13080409492647813,0.0,0.0,0.2680780961239204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138024410857963,0.0,0.0,0.18205551274909434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359634441533914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292822983023113,0.0,0.1631966978535961,0.0,0.11390295627188925,0.0,0.14047529006743645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530646756034248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011435605704672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682336122488204,0.0,0.1127807990030991,0.12790667061478314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353648463877539,0.09562789429699883,0.12852428513599068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341804766896706,0.0,0.06993506984981826,0.0,0.15214871465368976,0.11227340183135733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849878029143239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539606065963703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840073590906777,0.0,0.2064784622798326,0.1292805016457201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425539725445508,0.09070537223014093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486330208849822,0.0,0.12778222297896538,0.2784000112895855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456385705905455,0.0,0.1423740316452392,0.13389382112268358,0.0,0.08575260448580102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122098396178332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474509636971047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323809130984358,0.0,0.0,0.08892903978465433,0.1715410869054225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790667061478314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560998605775785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624993022273856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078566139621573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619990400341734
mentalhealth,MickeyWasHere,2019/03/03,"Help ;~; Okay so first I don’t want to make it seem like I’m self diagnosing or anything and I’m not sure I should post it on here so bare with me. I feel like I’m completely strangers with myself, I feel like I can’t tell what I want or what I’m feeling, I just feel numb when it comes to it. I feel as though I’m lying to myself half the time and I can’t understand why. I don’t know what to do ;-; I’m sorry if I’m whiny or anything..,",-0.9070588235294108,0.5521120196078471,1.8076078431372584,100.27023529411764,85.66666666666667,5.2564705882352944,17.062745098039215,6.2581,-0.6597560784313727,334,7,92,3,10,116,53,102,0.095,0.731,0.175,0.6874,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,1,1,6,2,0,1,1,24,25,11,0,4,6,0,5,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,8,0,0,1,5,1,0,2,0,5,13,5,8,24,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,5,6,50,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087457648668889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159457819882794,0.1966874714740596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19040273330569116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4742627564132722,0.2680326536736329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956633155411978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573949301770934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309609154564588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27494508491369896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252196441732079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966203762194036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17077743075037194,0.19570019269722524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20999477023599505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680398474035855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396436716470128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430896395918667,0.0,0.10938686457554644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952907104644605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212941761011185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16927331500788162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ComradeGloop,2019/03/03,"How can I stop caring about the opinions of people I don't even respect? (24M) I find myself constantly obsessing over what family members and former family friends think of me. Especially now that I'm going through a faith transition, trying to come to terms with that and open up with my family about it is a challenge. Anyone have similar experiences? Any thoughts?",5.03199004975124,7.614002970149253,6.0247014925373135,71.7575497512438,71.5373134328358,9.839800995024877,30.56965174129353,10.125756701596842,3.814006965174129,297,13,47,9,6,98,55,67,0.102,0.742,0.156,0.584,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,12,10,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,6,5,11,9,1,10,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,33,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150698539370553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606433062233772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24214534112889416,0.0,0.0,0.2045837524045056,0.0,0.2566512850813277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568653845597708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323189057662383,0.6716767697777594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21706913983254025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349059429292666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497575472548706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646514145712705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985592098643966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217931826891226,0.0,0.1885471181486637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124575313660286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,taffytaffytaffytaff,2019/03/03,"i think my autism is starting to take over my life when i was 7, i was officially diagnosed as autistic. my mom was a single mom with three kids who had no idea how to care for me or how to make sure i didn't feel like i wasn't normal.

for a long time, i was okay. my autism only affected me a bit and nobody ever asked me about it. we moved around alot so i had to explain it way too many times but i was fine.

two years ago, my mom married my stepdad and we moved into a permanent house, leaving my sister to live with her dad and my brother to go back and forth alot. i don't know my dad.

i started going to a new school and made the best friends i could've ever had. they're still my friends and i love them all. (there's four, they're all great!!)

but when i started going to my new school, my fits (i sometimes spazz out or start getting emotional and angry and physical with people) got more frequent and got generally worse. i started seeing my school counselor and she would be there if i had a fit and things got bad.


i've been having them so often now, i can't control them like i used to. the last therapist doctor person i went to was.. not good. i can't do therapists anymore. anyways, they don't work for me.



anyone got any ideas on how to stop having fits or anything? thanks! :)",1.9014541062801944,3.4778012259259263,3.27937198067633,92.45978260869568,77.48148148148148,6.028985507246378,22.479871175523357,6.7026698264267655,0.4129677938808381,1001,29,224,9,23,327,151,270,0.094,0.76,0.146,0.9501,0,0,0,0,1,0,35.0,2,0,4,3,19,14,0,0,10,1,23,4,0,8,5,52,50,25,0,3,7,7,1,2,2,1,3,0,0,2,4,19,0,2,6,0,0,6,8,1,0,3,19,2,45,13,24,29,8,37,0,0,1,1,23,8,0,7,24,150,49,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264198256526956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339899304576035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245822758242944,0.06518796271634676,0.0,0.07671961544801431,0.08299367529913282,0.08715663460951081,0.0,0.0,0.07168743235161068,0.07784241424320099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783820114648932,0.0,0.10178204405253324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505329296358928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456437641377636,0.0744358597200457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462558610811264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954239464722632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487020257768898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866213833870194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471394401915485,0.06660289616026796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405716115846806,0.0,0.04870836307136708,0.0,0.1589527582536548,0.07819615582572344,0.2982553496705593,0.10278542498330774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757387793765466,0.0,0.2104886388682798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512362817412915,0.0759941693118699,0.0,0.09871616826746032,0.0,0.0,0.06585047883831753,0.091094069767488,0.0,0.08232301383290029,0.08250483027110526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414291338573884,0.08821563985328285,0.06223115612061932,0.09451968656589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275664272145254,0.0,0.1981755834795817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008251441603634,0.0,0.0,0.09134473523473613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090494065488784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463332754265758,0.08140406448541596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28305851548373084,0.0742915317602865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220597551865206,0.0,0.32994022620680297,0.0,0.07445288918206554,0.0779437120609841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786733463246016,0.0,0.07009668963303804,0.0,0.0,0.08583284049951867,0.0,0.21649236906840374,0.06193727934669744,0.05973745047076667,0.0,0.0,0.10872528974015984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107129559400123,0.0,0.0,0.08052001932177362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740009295580909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642432074193143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787190380724002,0.0,0.09500842979890356,0.06622728621076666,0.0,0.0,0.060036491418852166
mentalhealth,crystaltorta,2019/03/03,"If I didn't crave companionship like a normal human being, I'd be alone, because I can't stand people making me feel bad. Like really, who needs people making them feel bad? Yet EVERYONE does it. I don't think I've ever had a relationship with a human being that hasn't put me down.

​

Is it really that hard to be nice all the time? Maybe my fear of abandonment prevents me from being mean to loved ones. Who knows.",3.259781512605045,5.005301599999999,4.8327731092437,82.04176470588239,74.17647058823529,7.680672268907562,20.378151260504197,8.418075326091056,1.0886974789915969,336,7,65,6,7,113,60,85,0.214,0.672,0.114,-0.85,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,1,4,0,11,1,0,2,2,15,20,1,0,3,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,2,5,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,2,3,8,4,6,13,1,6,0,1,0,1,8,1,0,1,5,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19419265648008646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315533842444086,0.22783208844746095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.313108052031074,0.11429779089706835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408184056074185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960378894992664,0.0,0.17916355029908518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098876273535852,0.18961048980440934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796248235086267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304467381503568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320530660424725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922537641314997,0.0,0.2503143852616398,0.0,0.18836817912334974,0.20424162981423785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902830397340896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370943649875635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705433142650993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599767168055873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884885147643924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402336171088432,0.0,0.0,0.20130400443819135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014193632129165,0.0,0.0,0.10933230941006232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22783208844746095,0.0
mentalhealth,whomknowsme,2019/03/03,"Why do I feel so emotionally unattached and misunderstood with my family or just people in general I used to be depressed and now I am better but at times I still get this feeling that no one understands me at all, especially my family. They’ve never have had depression and seem to be happy and connect with everyone around them so easily; I feel like I sometimes feel this loneliness and misunderstood ness that they don’t/will never understand and it makes me scared that I’ll feel this way forever - where I will never connect to people as they do. Does anyone feel like this as well or know of a way to work on it? Thanks ",10.273500000000002,7.563769350000001,10.191666666666666,64.74000000000004,59.66666666666666,14.6,38.16666666666666,13.023866798666859,4.886966666666666,502,17,92,15,5,167,75,120,0.126,0.6579999999999999,0.21600000000000005,0.9316,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,3,2,8,9,0,1,1,0,8,0,0,2,4,30,22,13,0,0,4,0,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,10,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,1,6,14,6,14,18,1,14,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,3,8,68,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091632336952804,0.0,0.0,0.12848102970416428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764490739472445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486161073736441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630094107640902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162347691723523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790999011245306,0.0,0.0,0.2721160321612326,0.0,0.43785436374460457,0.2062135132371989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540454884131298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363805848895892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931797468430206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102110602387227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963389437717951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33394008171636863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779925415367137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001154050825349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449583093884116,0.0,0.0,0.1313892672925508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274242750202873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525919092128413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287629075425078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415784172920768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004975920322101,0.0,0.12465160696852252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22911904056352084,0.0,0.0,0.12976670058116302,0.0,0.13023206130543258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507128474195072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,supasavagelee,2019/03/03,"What is this? What do I get happy? Okay so why is it that when I start hitting something I feel happy? I have been diagnosed with mdd and mild anxiety before and had violent thoughts before, but I just punched a wall and I feel happy and I don’t know why. Any ideas?",-0.2657727272727257,2.0252126727272746,1.6803409090909118,95.26051136363638,95.0,4.931818181818182,19.602272727272727,6.6274283507984215,0.3052272727272727,207,7,45,3,8,68,38,55,0.068,0.715,0.217,0.8541,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,1,7,1,0,0,0,12,14,7,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,7,4,1,10,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,29,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417175670699439,0.0,0.15942365300068154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35466214894954673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21151925608865754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21074425494939694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887918528061308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6655296090257101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352556118260891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452991357205138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043471365232834,0.0,0.0,0.14750494886499432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544447781587573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760929798065868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,botxpiol,2019/03/03,"my brain is melting and i am hallucinating things ive been hallucinating when i wake up

this morning i could see text on the ceiling but i couldnt read it 

ive been extremely dizzy and experiencing bad vertigo recently

i am falling apart",3.033913043478257,5.780819782608695,5.4414782608695695,72.43613043478264,79.43478260869566,8.897391304347826,30.93913043478261,9.3871,3.447587826086957,194,10,36,6,5,68,34,46,0.212,0.7879999999999999,0.0,-0.8569,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,9,3,2,0,0,5,10,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,2,8,0,2,6,0,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,25,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518100862111115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4703665317555503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33641410636996993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42146454563191854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160328085634164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357618137547008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799265644377999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whymegod1257521,2019/03/03,"Did my therapist use me as her own coping mechanism? Im a 46 yr old male. A few years ago I found myself part of a program for individuals recovering from brain injuries. In my case i had been in a car accident and I had lots of memory issues, a degree of cognitive impairment, minor body tremors and a profound personality shift (ironically it's been a good shift). My official diagnosis is Major Neurocognitive Disorder (a type of dementia) and to compound things I also have Aspergers Syndrome. So I'm rather off center of everyone else. 

Part of the program included in-home services - this included a 40 yr old social worker/therapist named ""Jessica"". ""Jessica"" has a number of degrees is psychiatry & psychology yet she works in a non-licensed position in social work. This woman has/had been awesome! Very helpful in every way. And quite attractive to boot. Over the months we worked together she became the highlight of my week. Every Thursday was ""Jessica"" day... I counted the days until I'd see her. But I never let on how important she was to me. I didn't ever want to risk her becoming uncomfortable with my attraction & asking to be removed from my case. Besides she was married and I respected that - I wasn't about to dabble. And on top of that, since my accident, and all my issues - I felt like the most insecure man on Earth. 

After about 18 months or so we'd become rather close - I'd actually come to trust her. One day, there was something visibly off about her and I inquired... she almost broke down in tears at my inquiry... her husband was going to be leaving her for someone else. I expressed how sorry I was and offered to listen if she ever wanted to vent - I knew from the last 18 months of chit-chat that she really had no friends or family to speak of so she had limited resources for anyone to reach out to - so I was offering her all I could. 

Over the next 2 months we disclosed many things to each other. Mostly about her troubles at home, but also about our feelings for each other - she said she'd been attracted to me since the summer. I revealed my feelings about her. We exchanged Xmas gifts. She wrote me the sexiest most sensuous letter in her Xmas card that I've ever read (my son says she's  ""undercover trying to say that she loves you Dad""). 

By mid January her husband was gone - he'd moved 2 states away leaving her with their 8 yr old daughter. The very day he left she arranged for me to meet her & the daughter at Friendlys for ice cream. I felt like I was being inducted. It was nice... but scary. 

Two days later during one of our regularly scheduled in-home counseling sessions I was eating ""Jessicas"" pussy on my couch. Needless to say things were moving quickly. We had something of a routine at this point, we were getting together most everyday in some capacity outside of our ""official weekly counseling sessions"" ~ daily walks in a park, dinner at her place, dinner at my place, dinner at my sons place with his SO (side note: my son wasn't exactly happy with this relationship, he thought it was VERY inappropriate-he just knew I was happy) 

It was 2 1/2 months since her husband told her he was leaving and we were swapping ""I love you's"" ... I was beginning to think she was almost as screwed up as I was. 

She soon became nervous about being found out by her job for what we were doing... she said we could date more freely AND that she would feel safer if I was no longer in the program. So I left the program. 

Somewhere between her husband leaving and me leaving the program she went into almost a depression. She began growing more & more distant - minimal to no affection. Virtually all terms of endearment vanished. She wanted more time alone. Communication was cut by more than half. About the only thing thats consistent is our daily walks together...and those were awkward and sometimes contentious. 

I know she been seeing a therapist for a couple months. Therapy has gotten more intense for her. She tells me that nothing has really changed between us, but that she just needs time to deal with her husband leaving, to deal with all the residual feelings, we're moving way too fast, that she needs to deal with ""herself"" before ""we"" could ever hope to be anything. 

Here's the kicker: she told me I'm not the first client she's done this with... there was one other... and that's what ultimately drove the wedge between her & her husband. It just took him a bit to get up the will to leave her. 

It seems to me she might be seriously trying to pull her shit together now ... but to what end? She says she doesn't want the husband back - that he was horrible to her for a long time - even before her fling. So then where does that leave me? Am I just the latest ""client/patient"" she's engaged like this with? Am I actually something to her? Or am I just someone she's keeping close now so I don't rat on her and screw up her job/career? 

I'm a complete mess these days! Rampant depression, anxiety, stress - she's really set me back by leaps and bounds. 

I love her so much. But sometimes I wish I'd never met her. Or at least wish I could go back 6 months and never inquired what was wrong that fateful day and just let sleeping dogs lie. 

I'm frustrated all day. In an endless fog of anxiety and confusion ... and then I see her. And it's semi bliss while I'm with her... and it's good. And then it wears off after an hour and then it's misery again. 

Sometimes I wish I'd never met her. I wish she'd left me alone. There's no turning back with her - something has to give. 

My closest and friend ""Sandra"", who I disclosed everything to, wrote out all the facts on paper for me to see and read - and I was suddenly on 'Team Sandra' - she was very angry about the situation and wants me to report the relationship to her superiors. Then I left and met 'Jessica' for a walk in the park around the corner and I was suddenly sucked back in - 'Team Jessica'. 

Last week I sent her an email telling her I was done. 12 hours later we were back on track. I flip-flopped - she said I hurt her feelings - and now I'm back in this cycle of despair. This is like a heroin addiction I can't escape. 

Im beginning to think she might be my very own personal devil. 

I know my cognitive abilities are severely declined and I have trouble with even simple puzzles and adding & subtraction of double digits is difficult at most times... but am I missing the forest for the trees here? 

Should I let this die? She I let ""Sandra"" report this to ""Jessicas"" superiors and be done with things? I'm too close to ""Jessica"" and too close to ""Sandra"" - and I can't trust my own opinion... what do I do people? Help me!",3.3830426788500105,5.445631597503903,4.6043723534655685,82.43887187987522,74.67862714508581,7.72989748161355,27.28106195676398,8.554060886955776,2.1071579897481616,5196,203,984,101,112,1709,491,1282,0.122,0.787,0.091,-0.9908,2,2,4,0,0,0,219.0,16,2,1,9,60,50,6,6,53,0,98,15,5,4,16,172,173,72,1,22,22,13,7,4,3,5,1,9,2,5,50,71,4,3,20,4,1,18,16,25,0,6,74,21,189,25,156,74,33,168,1,6,5,5,169,65,4,23,85,692,239,20,0.0,0.0,0.0756921421814544,0.04227858866653023,0.0,0.0,0.03437829677212799,0.0,0.11650504721953805,0.08033383200704049,0.0,0.062028613207702685,0.0,0.25212457243453057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933692730017946,0.0,0.0,0.02711758671160909,0.0,0.031914647086694906,0.03452459768120655,0.036256350068795226,0.0,0.03643738295276363,0.2087491397714676,0.0,0.0,0.08566432524314048,0.06600200708063911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042340384486156964,0.0430785526144706,0.0,0.04329403383596645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04102668358022716,0.033407641633966235,0.040662654862166664,0.0,0.0,0.1238585037053375,0.04291203683795666,0.0,0.20009174486742096,0.11994899107314,0.06680652469789873,0.0,0.04025005410680567,0.0,0.04444804099057464,0.0,0.03393877825746803,0.11906371613796735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03968412245010658,0.06479551132575638,0.0,0.03434973430952058,0.0,0.0,0.05123087723785159,0.14032376441235947,0.06535176379965275,0.0370582874048782,0.034855160127960284,0.0,0.036560636829439726,0.0,0.0980478453125882,0.0,0.07447445663597117,0.0,0.0,0.03298832721261027,0.0,0.08504589656548951,0.08988966052232675,0.0,0.04052445280168613,0.03720365435783824,0.04408191354538759,0.06505774832526895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256926598528135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051990109678106806,0.0,0.038901953645797134,0.03851971780746123,0.07638579078952265,0.0,0.04151740861872684,0.0,0.08378338964348048,0.08095759146975981,0.07697118325063901,0.03447161833820917,0.0,0.0,0.04262763415220197,0.0632257364709625,0.0,0.3285200692009807,0.16854895633605624,0.15863070708477153,0.0,0.0757885730094699,0.0,0.0,0.034321242692283836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032971447173628245,0.1050080101368012,0.0,0.0,0.03931931125931462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228408908507102,0.0,0.0,0.2166904386022841,0.12365880168357375,0.02850955884194745,0.05751338190674005,0.11964564727242565,0.0,0.04124556936907192,0.0,0.0,0.0372128011647928,0.0,0.122086953791746,0.0,0.07883996363398077,0.029495796407336676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399521546373266,0.0,0.026886863633465503,0.06772666870925632,0.1215581992557618,0.0,0.036661945349565454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04124990321725015,0.07758587853240982,0.0,0.07453508048041649,0.0,0.0,0.0832756622624425,0.0,0.0,0.11067295653379193,0.1233654249202198,0.0,0.0,0.12361834734513892,0.03530608062021783,0.0,0.04381312294635356,0.03980962163825418,0.09624371579219453,0.04359309218580324,0.038810452403398435,0.07906763571857911,0.0657204782100578,0.11942648109277255,0.11507048689352008,0.043413771100781186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04442515878288806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779513124801279,0.0,0.044351104850242566,0.13508822056979114,0.12882666318884992,0.0497004485358843,0.0,0.03078892864264878,0.09045742034009796,0.0,0.0,0.07411657480975639,0.043088722481854816,0.052661467711626365,0.042184162615197036,0.03788481266020019,0.0,0.04665050519938031,0.03349557978180367,0.0,0.15999789039798376,0.11437445199698547,0.06156739804135626,0.09332681221516877,0.0,0.0,0.03595171430512503,0.0,0.0,0.17839158736777175,0.0,0.0,0.08470224379231689,0.0,0.0,0.027549935627067326,0.042402514547332085,0.0,0.02497462252341941
mentalhealth,te-ao-maori,2019/03/03,"Fluoxetine Over the last few years, my resilience to life events and general capacity to deal with stuff has declined. I’m in a good job in healthcare, have three amazing kids and a loving wife but I still have thoughts of suicide and feel down and angry a lot of the time, as well as generally quick to become intolerant of things that get to me. 

I want to try fluoxetine to take the edge off my low moods and anger, along with counselling and other situational management such as deep breathing etc. I’ve never taken an anti-depressant before. 

What are people’s experiences of starting on fluoxetine? I’m scared of the side effects. ",7.395266343825668,7.906762957627119,7.684285714285719,69.99449152542374,63.49152542372882,10.471670702179175,34.65375302663439,10.290406445055957,3.5891922518159802,511,21,89,11,7,167,86,118,0.17,0.747,0.083,-0.9464,1,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,8,1,1,8,0,4,3,1,1,1,18,14,10,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,2,1,5,4,23,12,3,17,0,1,0,1,4,9,0,1,8,61,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362016362372477,0.18198686586441895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22048966806246548,0.18420515658274367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23852059855046426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920503411978025,0.0,0.0,0.10813865130735666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173778620457704,0.0,0.0,0.17938326789739198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21223209749584504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743318746089371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15106208178509484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18182387474404532,0.19302522757232232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16494904719204848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826991668905568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21412029530042084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403978476151579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513776613768302,0.0,0.1707961526350102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448289705573608,0.2339381009957688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080295920413007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208513777386114,0.0,0.0,0.16978818902137652,0.12470880167145496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520309130827086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614554601929706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922940203054052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772469899683584
mentalhealth,_1231throwaway1231_,2019/03/03,"What’s the difference between severe depression and Major Depressive Disorder? Hi all, throwaway for many reasons. I am currently seeing a therapist and in the past couple months my testing of depression has gone up from mild- moderate. To moderate-severe. And I was just wondering what the difference is between having the disorder and just being severally depressed. Thank you. ",7.438602150537638,10.924838451612906,7.852903225806456,57.16602150537637,67.70967741935485,12.520430107526884,40.978494623655905,11.538034831475384,6.985959139784947,312,19,36,13,6,102,47,62,0.293,0.6729999999999999,0.034,-0.9571,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,1,1,9,10,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,1,4,1,8,7,2,6,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,1,3,32,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710587834079074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5326171247329228,0.0,0.0,0.3230421922014851,0.3543634083566628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673722442617713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339795389678952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758045322433194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589515973349971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319389652608766,0.0,0.0,0.5239522563428044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233226614786804,0.0,0.17949918302773235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765399236928127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fierycotton,2019/03/03,"Suicidal sleep-talking in the middle of the night - PLEASE HELP Does anyone have experience in treating sleep-talking?

I \[21/F\] have PTSD, depression and anxiety. This morning my SO told me that I said “I don’t want to live anymore” in my sleep, which was super disturbing and creepy. Obviously, it's generally what I feel about my life at this point, however I don’t want that to ever happen again as it really affects my SO (not that I am trying to hide anything from them. I guess we can all agree that hearing stuff like that in the middle of the night is extremely creepy).

Extra information: I mostly sleep talk in language B, which my SO does not speak, and seldom in English, which is the language we speak to each other. Therefore maybe there's someway I could brainwash myself into just sleep talking in language B before I go to bed?

Is there anyone out there who knows some tricks to make the problem go away?",5.509095238095242,6.6977324000000085,5.808357142857144,79.39405952380953,67.85714285714286,8.347619047619048,30.011904761904763,8.59863814320734,2.314190476190476,730,27,132,11,12,233,106,175,0.109,0.792,0.099,-0.3968,1,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,2,0,1,1,10,7,1,1,6,0,11,4,3,3,3,28,23,7,1,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,16,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,3,5,20,3,22,19,5,20,0,1,0,0,13,14,0,3,5,94,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115730142154366,0.0,0.11817499578009436,0.16663930123577667,0.0,0.09805877171652057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119550220062455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013966365908954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513980138178377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263258961833258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20855595867604607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107787311132847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656163601077005,0.0,0.0,0.06025102677580312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544308622408802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312685019327512,0.0,0.1053730575349041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430231557457642,0.0,0.07987063561432448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548738318790245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416644210378763,0.058215702333073285,0.0,0.10522072579894913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954042386750396,0.0,0.1197125350583457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22364773410340405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080222347506887,0.11264499713723435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140203117454484,0.13929201107036518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633713784402843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133487303437743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5962317681442134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364100317713167,0.1303420249519768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831061336330964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386277075127413,0.0,0.0809020201063747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056766158946754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spel-fu-bo,2019/03/03,"Am i misdiagnosed? Already posted this on r/bipolar.

Last year i had my first psychosis. It was probabiy triggered by smoking weed,
alkohol and not sleeping. l was in the hospital for 2 weeks and i got Olanzapine(Zyprexa) perscribed. I was diagnosed with Bipolar1‚butsome of the doctors assumed also Schizophreina or a Schizoid Disorder.

Now it's about 4 months that i'm off of my medication and i can't notice any symptoms. Maybe there are days with slight depression or i get really Iazy.

Could it be that the psychosis was just related to my lifestyle at the time?",4.355187165775401,7.4100948039215755,4.569500891265598,78.81729946524067,76.45098039215686,8.022816399286988,33.7825311942959,8.841846274778883,3.5366745098039214,458,25,75,11,11,143,79,102,0.073,0.927,0.0,-0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,5,0,10,5,1,1,0,12,13,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,6,0,9,0,12,5,0,13,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,8,53,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25606747526631385,0.18556633716044615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779858649619313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18526908526724,0.0,0.0,0.1496498562153853,0.0,0.199860055634268,0.23552083427344764,0.0,0.0,0.2659437228738193,0.2375079342402659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19737739515137806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212339577326944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855876187141169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18914768079533986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23312043480394196,0.0,0.0,0.2337609685830344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18521613959246194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641848195947428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22223500815007555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865399648595728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322126232912185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24118364827866215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530733070951814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861325368626176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942939988412365
mentalhealth,ashlo_ren,2019/03/03,Psychologist vs psychiatrist What is the difference? I’m not sure where to begin looking for therapy’s for my depression ,4.7228571428571415,8.251725095238099,6.806666666666668,58.73000000000002,83.76190476190476,12.323809523809526,35.57142857142857,10.504223727775694,6.428257142857145,101,6,14,5,3,35,20,21,0.25,0.75,0.0,-0.687,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,4,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3958302223390072,0.0,0.0,0.4801567836487181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859262276547862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331428477727667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.525562668414162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anotheredgelord420,2019/03/03,"Choosing my career (18 M) (UK) I'm really struggling, for the last few months I've really focused on my dream of becoming a royal marines officer , I got physically fit - thought I was training my mind as well.
I finally pluck up the courage to tell my mum, and she has managed to completely destroy my dreams and my motivation for joining. She went on to say that if I joined the shock would kill my grandparents and their deatjs would be on me, my girlfriend would leave me and she would stand by and basically say I told you so.
My mum has always looked out for me, regardless and this really messed me up to be honest. She wants me to do basically anything else without taking into consideration what I want to do.

I either choose to follow my dreams and then ruin my life. Or do what she wants but be left unfulfilled and depressed.
I'm really struggling and I have no one else to turn to for advice, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place but I need help.",5.235158730158731,5.7778218941798976,6.1609656084656095,78.9439880952381,68.15343915343915,9.686243386243387,30.035714285714285,9.725611199111238,2.654114285714285,754,27,150,16,12,250,110,189,0.16899999999999998,0.728,0.103,-0.9499,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,1,2,12,2,2,5,0,15,1,0,1,0,33,30,17,1,11,7,2,0,0,1,4,1,2,0,0,5,11,0,0,5,3,0,2,2,9,1,1,5,3,32,3,24,18,2,17,0,2,1,0,15,10,0,3,4,102,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337347710442625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387572730874612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262139281566487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114745899099516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349163297090153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178744643519516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286524025751209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14991981158587706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945679504018856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917321527742755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141164764454887,0.0,0.0,0.1115564662804076,0.0,0.14491147145074318,0.14869519133823472,0.0,0.0966659256702744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492514921009947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381862408558781,0.0,0.10923770222374736,0.0,0.0,0.10147749963020368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273763328663943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298610991122154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506955935532063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21766786175122196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531998569643835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28614464896474795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289919692818857,0.0,0.11961877702315378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086489227851374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077242971113828,0.0,0.0,0.14886077654503027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421648602556339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230505978338412,0.12686752036315105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319249629475834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888762565819804,0.14963130359031576,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,elbl121,2019/03/03,"My (now ex) bf claims he is the victim in our breakup/my suicide attempt A few weeks ago i attempted suicide for many reasons. One of which was that i believed my bf was going to break up with me. He proceeded to break up with me in the hospital after i had barely regained consciousness. While i was in an in patient facility he went on to make out with his best friends little sister. I come back to school and hear about all this and i go to talk with him. He holds to this day that he has done nothing wrong. He is currently working on getting me blacklisted from coming to his frat events, the brothers of which i am very good friends with. He sees himself as the main victim in this. I’m so frustrated with everything and I’ve had friends support me and I’ve had others agree with him that he’s done nothing wrong. If you have input on this please let me know. Am i the one in the wrong? I’ve been extremely unstable with all this going on and he claims his actions have all been to mitigate further damage between us but it’s only made things worse for me. ",2.9440826873385006,4.694562511627908,3.886937984496125,88.46952842377262,75.04651162790698,7.010335917312663,27.29328165374677,7.793537801064563,1.5616459948320416,840,33,173,12,18,270,119,215,0.08800000000000001,0.8140000000000001,0.098,-0.2119,1,0,0,0,0,2,16.0,2,1,0,4,4,13,3,0,8,0,18,0,0,3,3,27,32,10,2,1,2,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,13,16,0,1,3,0,0,7,0,7,0,2,12,2,25,6,38,19,6,34,0,1,1,0,28,15,0,1,10,121,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395258040101035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884767578436496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483279727516254,0.13490619581434027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22147036512809976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290466946238084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631043218145441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553322327741465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979542248932632,0.0,0.06716251821170788,0.0,0.21917524728495585,0.10782236167607873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488616115504574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064819034274937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145196315980578,0.0,0.0,0.12884173248067626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163793124237472,0.08580869675630068,0.1303303944138958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466960329527332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421877828645405,0.0977687211753863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111024034670228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321716934138145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010033255343598,0.10243839127821207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28122755071904376,0.14587799166864146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332431123689202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854034787827135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546308556155699,0.0,0.0,0.10606792180786524,0.0,0.0,0.10311574521381507,0.0,0.0,0.11916793441117668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358655655986724,0.0,0.1310043079724366,0.0,0.4216505529800378,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RuthSage,2019/03/03,"Extremely Anemic. Bleeding for over a year I have been diagnosed young with endo. I been put on shots for months that never stopped me from bleeding. Many different birth controls. Nothing working. I been bleeding for over a year now nonstop. I got my ""true"" period today and I'm so weak and pale. Any advice? My doctors keep saying surgery, but I'm so young they don't want to screw anything up for me in the future. At this point, they don't know what to do with me which kinda sucks. Feels hopeless. Any help would be appreciated before I pass out haha! ",1.6716154873164228,4.39688588785047,2.719686248331108,89.17656542056076,87.3177570093458,4.926301735647531,22.59612817089453,6.5431188927421005,0.7405492656875836,438,16,82,5,14,139,77,107,0.09,0.775,0.134,0.7141,1,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,2,2,3,6,2,0,3,1,9,7,0,1,2,16,17,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,4,5,0,3,2,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,4,2,12,2,16,11,0,22,0,1,0,1,4,8,2,1,12,51,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21111008520489924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938268471647285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778107852998382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838326454318129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423052762465001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192742841135752,0.0,0.2257139980183942,0.0,0.22112431119941808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923543437508286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727855302458437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448058903229936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920247299051508,0.0,0.0,0.11872897660709897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190288848799864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243967626347606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16662202276378565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072945349584259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042259833720774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21717811927221567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180229375597425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061765708695188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477900771906024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274249618180923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727842469323475,0.0,0.0,0.15346737991201392,0.0,0.0,0.2782431098819046
mentalhealth,alexhenry117,2019/03/03,"I eat right and sleep right, but I’m always completely exhausted. Why is that and how do I change that? I’ve had depression for half a year and my life is falling apart. I would love some help",1.3502500000000026,3.436905525,2.4700000000000024,95.165,81.25,7.0,20.0,8.07648339933343,0.6839999999999993,151,4,35,3,4,48,31,40,0.217,0.5920000000000001,0.191,-0.0745,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,5,1,1,0,7,7,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,4,1,1,5,1,5,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390620442977903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039322077760511,0.0,0.30123542504055023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24745668883486704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939863010455223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257550742660529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293309514519486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25930535584755826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4907164047637189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875140141582685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592494509806498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040943120066908,0.0,0.0,0.18501598227097849
mentalhealth,vartadise,2019/03/03,"I sometimes seriously consider calling the cops on my dad. But I can't. As a 13 year old, I have been growing up in a very toxic family with an unhealthy relationship between my parents. Every single day, they set a bad example of what a couple should be like; they insult each other not in a playful way, argue at least twice a day, and are straight up not happy talking to each other. The only reason my mom married my dad is due to pregnancy, and honestly I would be happier living with a single parent. Once, their fighting escalated to the point it got physical in which my mom punched my dad's arm and he punched her chest. She spit out blood and it has traumatised all the siblings. When my dad gets mad, he would yell really loud and insult us. I really wish it was different, and sometimes wish  that I was aborted or raised in a healthy family like my friend's. Sadly, I refuse to call the police and my parents since it would ruin my life as a teen. Maybe once I graduate high school I will.",6.340636825103829,6.0366714162436566,7.207743424088602,75.28468389478543,65.80203045685279,10.41236732810337,33.137517305029995,10.018931242160765,3.1928517766497446,787,30,149,16,11,264,125,197,0.188,0.703,0.109,-0.9533,4,0,0,0,3,0,21.0,1,0,3,0,1,15,5,0,15,0,15,5,4,1,1,25,19,12,0,6,4,9,0,2,1,5,1,2,0,0,9,12,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,9,0,1,4,2,25,6,19,8,6,21,0,2,0,0,27,12,0,1,8,102,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206040556429427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496294578042505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524975679409398,0.0,0.1576618230219226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770866557987615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298753929282126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304629471722077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443779740913108,0.0,0.06386229586745915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776181226212552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301205205586778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914708558220814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633759168676701,0.11943485817288847,0.0,0.10793498969354824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280062829446975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863183071918607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826417344872645,0.2603507508113373,0.0,0.09296457554799102,0.0,0.0,0.4071796586096768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555077683334693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661264686909185,0.12567705939031798,0.0,0.13123372715205245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370748076765835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111334808776726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24178539035245736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824717580886606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470326264484592,0.0,0.0,0.10085597123068568,0.0,0.09702377497230816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811264692085444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604948891606535,0.0,0.0,0.0787147819403675
mentalhealth,Thundercracker213,2019/03/03,"Mental health, work and fulfilment Hey everyone, I am currently self employed doing digital marketing for a few months and am a 23 year old male. Digital marketing was something I wanted to do for a while and now I don't know what I wanna do anymore. I want to do something that is fulfilling and enjoy but I really don't know what that is. I am gonna be disappointing a few people when I tell them I don't think I wanna run a business anymore. I feel that I don't like to be in the driver's seat and would rather do something else. 

​

I suffer from moderate levels of anxiety so life is f ing hard as it is. Always feeling anxious, dull and uninterested and always looking forward to the weekend (not that that is a bad thing). Any advice would be greatly , thanks so much",2.91532718894009,5.008265993548388,4.791082949308759,80.43233870967742,76.16129032258064,7.783410138248849,27.845622119815665,8.634040054169528,2.3485299539170508,619,26,115,13,14,211,93,155,0.172,0.767,0.061,-0.9576,2,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,5,8,0,0,8,0,23,2,0,0,0,21,33,13,0,7,3,0,3,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,9,7,0,0,5,1,0,2,5,4,0,0,1,4,14,4,12,26,3,12,0,3,1,0,5,3,0,0,10,84,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15228659362910765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593453665561137,0.1688542926919929,0.1893645839961218,0.1059776221208652,0.0,0.11921838628866364,0.1760566329802283,0.3091059537057083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012121431782706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018564746243844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891331331266036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759637620752806,0.11133325976224026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181589809401496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960345012885084,0.0,0.0,0.16565231781974746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129291947389647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007552056494256,0.07613632677338049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086768204605853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705166377068028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439126666631385,0.0,0.1145614966458972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16352952852128988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804093304425012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998361101715272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257676137930946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599233985605508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621241465248224,0.1434779938768567,0.0,0.0,0.10353422460607543,0.09985699532933147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383880959322402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345453024964727,0.0,0.0,0.2214107819368392,0.0,0.1893645839961218,0.10035687154301194
mentalhealth,gigishungry,2019/03/03,"I've been seeing things again I can remember having hallucinations ever since I was a kid but it's been about five years since I last had one until recently. Officially, I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder, general and social anxiety, and add. I used to have month long delusions as a teenager where I believed me and my family were vampires and there were security cameras watching me because I was actually asleep in a government lab and nothing was real but they chalked that up to bipolar; it however went away after my home life became less stressful. 

I got a job that I have to drive 40 minutes on the interstate to get to and I've been seeing things lately. Saw a woman in my late grandmother's nightgown in the middle of the road, thought a car that didnt exist was going to hit me looking in my rear view, random shadows and flashes of light out of the corner of my eyes, a black cat run across my feet (I dont have one, mines calico and was watching me from the bedroom door). 

I've also been having intrusive thoughts especially after our cat was hit by a car late last year. Even in the passenger seat I get random visualizations/anxiety attacks of him being hit by our car. I am a very paranoid and constantly stressed person and seeing him lay on the ground afterwards and all of that blood is something that keeps intruding my thoughts even like five months later.

Tldr I've been seeing things again and wondering if I'm going crazy. I dont want to see a psychiatrist because i dont want my drivers license revoked but i also want to talk to one. Advice on what i should do or what this could be? Can hallucinations/delusions be caused by anxiety?",7.5871397058823575,7.102251537500003,8.049926470588236,70.87536764705884,63.3125,11.029411764705882,36.63602941176471,10.46071229359064,3.8538566176470592,1332,57,237,28,17,442,174,320,0.095,0.884,0.021,-0.9621,2,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,2,0,1,0,10,5,1,2,17,0,33,8,4,2,2,39,60,21,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,3,3,13,15,0,2,5,0,0,8,4,3,0,5,21,13,33,2,37,31,2,45,0,0,12,0,10,17,0,5,21,166,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.09148685874936603,0.0,0.0,0.09161179784987956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499443089177772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515637938423898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665460492918236,0.08808157917910818,0.0,0.0,0.11429873737465925,0.0,0.0,0.10562458758891437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963074771222058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131086810909602,0.0,0.07485205932098984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515467425629044,0.0,0.0,0.1074460711666068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3296242829523741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384249921820305,0.0848025967028205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837952582669402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796142063136344,0.0,0.10656101628781116,0.0,0.07498075259125109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403928692453987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303279794805608,0.08332965581049437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283816404553618,0.3172635763219052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621867426344684,0.04580170592286546,0.0,0.0,0.08296614659853059,0.07872671748036446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966133662269612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995602940316275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058307530776675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185922600677792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067084704518796,0.0,0.0,0.0925672017802362,0.0,0.10620091837338418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.373534621839708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510258578909633,0.0,0.0,0.09556671818444476,0.0,0.07217363184460993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21478151413630106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535301373466549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868507836925485,0.0,0.0,0.22328201722882168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809702378056573,0.0,0.07735389157805249,0.16588923023422827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690755245229176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166830079331947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074435719583194
mentalhealth,koitami,2019/03/03,I don't know how to start this But my brother died from a disease I don't know I can't get over it the last thing he said to me while he was at home: I can't wait to play season 8 fortnite with you every time I login to fortnite I cry and shut it down and my mom comes in crying too idk what to do,-0.2555868544600948,0.7462671267605643,2.154577464788733,100.69177230046951,81.95774647887325,4.733333333333333,17.467136150234744,3.1291,-1.0673117370892022,230,4,63,0,6,79,50,71,0.197,0.8029999999999999,0.0,-0.9049,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,0,9,13,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,1,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,10,1,11,11,0,11,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,40,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22968102334846804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.585768433892531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27672332331543825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246500987946209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930492149234255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26745499193025685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930694343011446,0.2173417688940763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122777592271478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25362937609896363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872445884318004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771393512896144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15547605171306436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maco06,2019/03/03,"Is there a Canadian equivalent to RAINN? I think I can handle an online chat, but I don't think I can handle an in-person or phone conversation right now. But I wouldn't mind an online chat and a resource list for when I can. ",4.140992907801415,4.453914872340427,5.5838297872340465,82.93333333333334,70.48936170212768,8.819858156028369,24.177304964539005,8.841846274778883,1.4395730496453902,177,4,38,3,3,60,31,47,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,8,8,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,2,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,26,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954386997147629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42843573854414096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4190310840196554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6288054256989152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DJR1325,2019/03/03,"Nothing seems to go my way I don’t know if this is the right place to post this so I apologize in advance and for this being so long I think I might just need to rant about my past year or so to random strangers on the internet to feel better. 

That being said the past year or so just seems to be filled with a number of shitty events. First off I couldn’t play the last few weeks of my senior year hockey season because I got my appendix removed. I had some inflammation that has all the same symptoms of appendicitis without being appendicitis. If I took some Motrin I would’ve been fine. Then the girl I was kinda seeing for a couple months or so ended things the day after Valentine’s Day. I knew we were gonna end things before we went to school but I did not expect it to happen that early. Then I kinda got led on afterwards and ended up not having a prom date so I didn’t go to my senior prom. Flash forward to my current freshman year in college. I got into a prestigious school about ten hours from home which I’m very proud of and one of the few positives to happen last year. Then I got here and though I love it no matter how hard and smart I study I just can’t do well on my exams and it’s usually due to the stupidest possible mistakes. Although my gpa is fine it could be much higher. Than a couple weeks ago it’s my dogs eleventh birthday. I couldn’t be home to celebrate which was no big deal until my mom called that night and said our dog had to be put down because of health issues, meaning I would never see her again and I couldn’t be there in her last couple hours. That was one of the worst weekends of my life. That same week my buddies set me up with this girl who I started to really like and who I thought everything was going well with. She was also the first girl I met in college that had any interest in me. In the two weeks since we got “set up” we texted all the time hung out got a little physical and she even told me she really liked me. To me, that thought things were starting to look better right? Well I was wrong. Last night she texted me and said we should just be friends completely demoralizing me. On top of all that, my favorite sports teams which I use as one of my escapes either suck or were victim of a horrible non call. I 

have loving family and friends which I’m very grateful for but I’m just sick of either getting let down or crazy circumstances happening. My spring break just started so it’s nice to have a week off to relax but I have no desire to go back to school and start the grind all over again. I know there are people that are in far worse situations than me and I am grateful for all the blessings in my life. I try to look at the positives in my life before looking at the negatives but it never seems to work. Whenever something bad happens it reminds me of something else that happened and then I just get stuck in a mental rut if you will. I guess I’m just looking for any ways to move past this stuff without it bogging me down mentally because I’ve tried and it always fails. I’ve gone to my parents and they constantly say how lucky I am for my blessings which is true but I’m just tired of nonsense happening to me and not knowing how to adapt and overcome as they say. ",3.678391604010024,4.7606818300751925,4.4344783834586465,87.94535166040102,72.05263157894737,7.406328320802006,25.43311403508772,7.720077496677588,1.1751459899749372,2567,77,543,31,48,824,291,665,0.098,0.737,0.16399999999999998,0.9938,2,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,6,1,2,10,33,30,2,0,26,0,48,10,1,5,8,104,109,52,0,13,29,2,2,2,2,5,7,5,2,3,37,29,0,0,12,6,0,14,17,7,3,7,33,13,80,23,88,57,15,114,2,1,6,2,38,35,1,19,63,378,117,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050647551624837375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04569157993017885,0.047541668068516986,0.0,0.0,0.07770877884522784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043934000833204666,0.047706112215673696,0.10448859177849576,0.0,0.09723693070419184,0.0,0.0,0.10106416810835088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668433865712224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05990593207643227,0.061743638840483575,0.0,0.04561838826812602,0.1896594484145064,0.0,0.07369589195364605,0.058904631585756616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04772973522629005,0.0,0.15181641661357995,0.0,0.0,0.03773774071601836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051350086761833766,0.0,0.05386266671469425,0.0,0.028889641276233575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971995801067306,0.0,0.0,0.08828615045553427,0.0,0.059702326992700464,0.0,0.12988665534016433,0.0,0.2741809202343337,0.0,0.06294166480875223,0.0,0.30315066765824983,0.0,0.05118256767320786,0.0,0.0,0.06073281827352753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462398609461895,0.0,0.11253475726444206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05963506308304738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094201233223342,0.18629362432682384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842535611649434,0.12107038419062167,0.055827455465768304,0.057265208688426314,0.0,0.05056349715659341,0.19191915347008984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313480914383066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223777413468196,0.0,0.0,0.11515915117733197,0.06061218910091003,0.0,0.06691690679051776,0.04560535157425096,0.06072644788704825,0.04200148026005576,0.04236556567284962,0.08813349796069853,0.0,0.0,0.10723639340673607,0.0,0.05482346262211256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615034784066693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344268500656358,0.0,0.16362812126720522,0.03961085748174532,0.0,0.05969488262742085,0.0,0.0,0.06441217251058558,0.05472042393870954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743738737081961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320547537138564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758753841321684,0.16304805082906512,0.09087356434179847,0.0,0.17347382445102316,0.091059872314792,0.15604320534572544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047263428983130316,0.06422317549939803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797205554730651,0.0,0.0,0.16176441194858038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540696640767636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05938610478498781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387571265257193,0.03661039477440872,0.05613575787653981,0.09071908729150598,0.03331641832703525,0.06566934269411337,0.0,0.05459582645724103,0.06348011685434489,0.07758308744157155,0.0,0.055813498199841466,0.0,0.0,0.04934709585665579,0.06292715114449872,0.09428624655270093,0.0,0.09070367829375993,0.22915497001786064,0.0,0.1541161795258123,0.052965576460625635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015398885489627,0.0,0.0415956351148553,0.0,0.05822639055439281,0.08117544601942585,0.062469166485876075,0.0,0.18396831756237908
mentalhealth,t00th-fairy,2019/03/03,"What do I say to my doctor? 1st appointment ADVICE After finding out about cPTSD randomly a few months ago everything in my life has clicked into place. 


TW: s/h, suicidal ideation 


The guilt of being alive. The insufferable self-loathing. The years of s/h. The suicidal ideation. The nightmares. The flashbacks. How I can still feel people touching me sometimes. The way smells make me remember things. Feel things. The repressed memories. The things I went through. My behaviour when I was younger. Everything. 

I'm going to my family doctor next week for the first time about my mental health. I don't know if I have cPTSD but the ?comfort? of literally all my horrible dark quirks being listed under one understandable title has given me the fuel to go ahead and see a doctor about it for the first time, so I guess that matters. 

What do I say? How do I start? Where do I start? 
It's all been going on for so long. 

ANY advice welcome please folks. ",1.7521845574387953,4.5340659887005685,2.6333333333333333,87.85907721280603,92.50282485875708,5.786064030131827,22.374764595103574,7.2427474758485975,1.2908064030131818,748,28,136,14,27,235,111,177,0.08199999999999999,0.8590000000000001,0.059,-0.6267,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,10,4,0,2,15,0,13,5,0,3,2,20,28,8,2,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,8,3,0,1,6,0,0,4,1,2,0,3,4,8,19,2,20,22,3,28,0,0,2,0,3,7,0,3,16,91,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25320949189575703,0.11484731639626587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881053913219047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978311204099537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328807404154934,0.0,0.12213784334434688,0.0,0.13101907854511705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841569243729175,0.22040771117211375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22089617350114826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272518731692374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771645365135907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120290774078349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151221380751487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114656716262612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648245183427823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305662272596669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034137302511266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778876209813815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877933570333519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982074228643439,0.0,0.13536285274226956,0.14221821360095455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676647119322267,0.0,0.0,0.2060629716778035,0.0,0.0,0.10324271984760593,0.0,0.1351595638259924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813836884483554,0.0,0.183406778854082,0.0,0.10346695777482784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834357009127505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582221564772861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109521049064742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348767565419924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283887083497303,0.10392539224941286,0.0,0.0,0.12010362046604885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343253285165335
mentalhealth,InMyOwnWords48,2019/03/03,"So this is new Hey guys,

I know a lot of the time when we are struggling with mental health stuff we feel alienated or abandoned. There just does not seem to be enough resources out there today to properly help those suffering. I stumbled across this blog that looks pretty new and has a fresh feel to it. Take a look, it may be for you and it may not be but figured I'd throw it out there in case it helps anyone :-) 

​

Fantasmagoriastory.com",5.147241379310344,6.286358379310348,4.9845402298850585,85.15198275862069,68.65517241379311,7.639080459770115,25.99425287356322,7.793537801064563,1.186066666666667,357,10,73,4,6,110,65,87,0.065,0.805,0.13,0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,4,0,8,1,0,0,0,21,15,6,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,10,7,0,1,5,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,10,10,2,10,0,2,2,0,7,4,0,5,5,51,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21231810326491785,0.238107830476929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701690049808654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714823023517564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024747960057748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198162351364334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940271194283218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20829192649002728,0.0,0.0,0.26269017816398005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769222145790497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32910715608964897,0.0,0.0,0.1665946732174706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747742763765505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785108006297591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993575671869741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783908644513287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20485562189460133,0.2243225891076717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14733442722373635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114263443626667,0.0,0.1857432522322649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238107830476929,0.0
mentalhealth,AnonCaptain002,2019/03/03,"I feel like all the bad things happening to me are my fault and my fault only I've been feeling like this ever since I was in middle school, when I was getting bad grades, my teachers and parents would say ""you need more motivation"" or ""you need more time to learn"" but I would always tell myself ""You got bad grades because you are a lazy shit"". A worse scenario would be when I was getting bullied, I'd always tell myself ""You are too much of a wuss to stand up for yourself, That's why you got bullied"". Basically I have this douchebag inner voice that tries to discipline me all the time and I want to get rid of it",4.619619999999999,5.072393152000004,4.946950000000001,87.42522500000004,69.48,7.53,27.625,7.1686216300943375,1.21862,484,15,103,4,8,153,75,125,0.235,0.7070000000000001,0.058,-0.9827,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,6,0,1,4,8,1,0,5,0,12,1,1,1,3,19,23,7,0,6,2,1,2,2,0,3,0,2,0,0,6,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,6,4,20,2,10,13,5,10,0,0,0,0,10,4,1,1,7,67,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629431939952004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3957790511579535,0.09631748728540618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292324162636347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978266769269864,0.22575551133624586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476509741798835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25273971874895496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139722002568634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154385090481448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615077700038648,0.23431523558193046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120168806888607,0.0,0.0,0.17544422512915844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565075137521467,0.0,0.1599080109753274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218835622848127,0.13070215540269825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762041045585667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497052662727123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842662616457948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072740273989512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319457759477423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257361280956862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101909892096047,0.33672352986601817,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InversePluto,2019/03/03,Demotivated I've been really depressed recently and just feel everything is pointless in my life. Any suggestions on how to cope with this? ,7.138749999999997,9.907875375,7.773333333333331,60.70500000000001,66.08333333333334,13.133333333333333,37.0,12.161744961471696,6.088899999999999,115,6,17,5,2,38,24,24,0.14,0.86,0.0,-0.5563,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,5,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33373972868421803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226985946024458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410715051368457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24814753711463525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466446371689745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143991689446785,0.0,0.4845751509188697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,johnjock28,2019/03/03,"I know I don’t have the best history with reddit, and I am dyslexic. However, I am trying too treat my bipolar disorder the best I can. I need some input from people who have mental health issues. I started lamictal earlier this month. I started taking 25mgs a day and over the last few weeks I have worked up too 100mgs a day. I had been hypomanic for weeks. Over the last month I remained hypomanic, but this has changed dramatically in the last few days. 
I had some stress from a girl I like a lot who has borderline personality disorder. The sex is great (she likes to beat me, choke me, and etc), but her black and white thinking is a bit much at times. 
Other then that every thing is normal, externally, but internally I am feeling very week. I have low energy, and I feel like a failure. I want to clean my kitchen, but I barely had enough energy too get out of bed and feed my German Shepherd.
Does anyone have any suggestions?",4.056440410418311,5.657478657458565,5.2941318074191015,80.13349447513814,71.81767955801105,8.707340173638517,26.740726124704018,9.23628265651192,2.2051101815311758,731,25,143,16,14,243,112,181,0.11,0.71,0.18,0.8911,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,3,9,0,1,12,0,19,5,0,0,0,22,29,11,0,3,4,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,3,2,7,8,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,4,25,7,13,25,11,22,0,1,2,1,7,7,0,3,18,100,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092042118401092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463932933971413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28408133509550204,0.0,0.14776630510561248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318153972761716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618671704923387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102438896608217,0.0,0.11844502414814838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985193675031024,0.1509501705154523,0.0,0.0,0.11403756467972867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687327596323234,0.09669351766855808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071438686261516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922300499933294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386990333479702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126943232704056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438439766795356,0.3309830642521623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19837439253470507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506907605963855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640019036644746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21606892975018935,0.0,0.09949725826516677,0.10035973978065234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261350901462332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383411471604867,0.11818172784367012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19160176467717854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504208681014153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176577729037192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992001489606409,0.08672632206068398,0.0,0.0,0.07892322504423467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189324329033556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116772904909854,0.0798324832198886,0.0,0.32570696689893314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853585216762792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,weabootrash6969,2019/03/03,"Please help me identify what's wrong with me Forgive my username, this is my throwaway account.
It's like I am just gliding through life but not actually doing anything. What I mean to say is that my mind is so lost in thoughts(?) that my body works on autopilot. My body does everything in its own and it feels like my mind isn't even there. Then suddenly I become conscious and be like ""why was I doing this again?"". I struggle having my thoughts in order. Also, I've got a severe memory problem. I need effort to remember even what happened like 5 minutes ago. I mostly don't remember anything I did the day before and definitely don't remember anything before yesterday. I've thought of going to a therapist but I forget to do that and my family isn't super supportive of this. What is going on? ",2.679169354838709,5.195512477419356,4.403608870967741,80.74541330645164,79.06451612903227,7.487903225806452,28.39717741935484,8.472884824447931,2.535201612903226,634,29,113,14,16,213,91,155,0.154,0.7240000000000001,0.122,-0.8062,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,4,7,11,0,1,3,0,16,3,2,0,0,25,28,9,0,2,4,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,13,5,0,0,10,0,1,2,5,4,0,0,7,2,19,7,13,20,2,14,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,1,10,81,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.1211157916789338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100181474623344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925263546363178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30640177196669954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707238653111767,0.21122100946242767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757217779238684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004222561815226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861159107942804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163950129465062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154421559040632,0.0,0.11700211795481495,0.0,0.06275495482202025,0.08866591802044102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107186568911942,0.0,0.09926401818703356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975217882455586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318992053419927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766425328164824,0.24254018331925736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354833376543045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351947802570385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506362719734179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202776643669096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623813674316138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875879790403625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4217854394058987,0.0,0.0,0.09869915604450524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021167636801876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974922035918465,0.0,0.0,0.14084127224176032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410405368619125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29559412853406625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199212980827623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035529993144656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356974177389824,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ElectronicMarketing,2019/03/03,"What is supposed to be happening in my mind while I am in idle mode? Would love it if some people explained what usually goes on in their brain when they aren't active with a certain task.

​

Is it normal that I constantly run random scenarios in my head and just live through those scenarios? I tend to get too emotionally evolved in these scenarios aswell and I sometimes notice myself having facial expressions over these scenarios. I am not sure whether they only affect me emotionally during thinking of them or they have a effect on my mood etc after aswell.",7.0577060439560455,8.497462875,6.65620879120879,73.80307692307693,64.48076923076923,9.78901098901099,33.12637362637363,9.957137785484203,3.4810373626373625,465,19,75,10,7,145,78,104,0.062,0.897,0.041,0.1346,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,5,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,9,4,3,2,2,19,15,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,15,3,14,13,2,14,0,0,0,1,8,8,0,4,5,60,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21723076487885784,0.2436172203065047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22381307765597414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21665839844015905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510483917861089,0.0,0.0,0.22359927883535774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474771808321116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17729259071418355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20576051851290225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770362890679444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18094999737756645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024376848870809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643757193676428,0.0,0.22825912411264396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248163284696795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899447949623175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828967594463973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889593945770387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284658573262547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22081134253509016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242230015525795,0.0,0.2436172203065047,0.0
mentalhealth,nitrofire1,2019/03/03,"What is my problem? Forgive my username, this is my throwaway account.
It's like I am just gliding through life but not actually doing anything. What I mean to say is that my mind is so lost in thoughts(?) that my body works on autopilot. My body does everything in its own and it feels like my mind isn't even there. Then suddenly I become conscious and be like ""why was I doing this again?"". I struggle having my thoughts in order. Also, I've got a severe memory problem. I need effort to remember even what happened like 5 minutes ago. I mostly don't remember anything I did the day before and definitely don't remember anything before yesterday. I've thought of going to a therapist but I forget to do that and my family isn't super supportive of this. What is going on? ",2.7867999999999995,5.230260080000001,4.594000000000001,79.93700000000003,78.2,7.466666666666666,29.33333333333333,8.447377352677275,2.627133333333333,612,29,108,13,15,207,85,150,0.161,0.735,0.104,-0.8749,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,4,7,11,0,1,3,0,17,3,2,0,0,25,29,9,0,3,4,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,13,4,0,0,10,0,1,2,5,4,0,0,7,2,18,7,12,21,2,14,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,10,80,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.1212118431958512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110105397934017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933134828928546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066447655068119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718109250967994,0.21138851939719716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759404405330099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801057035270318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086977260741581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408015097931394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163267631846084,0.0,0.11709490710110483,0.0,0.06280472296968441,0.08873623499403034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118374347570672,0.0,0.09934274003981602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983921836840853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773377587973731,0.24273253108991802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559078342928013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353019971900494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508350403898552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210074954188499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377059603892364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42211993857158975,0.0,0.0,0.09877742993038854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403228719769314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985211866221838,0.0,0.0,0.1409529671549989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442183361654504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295828551015594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208094575706193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904269566782641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HeartSecret,2019/03/03,"How long should support last from a significant other? I have several mental health issues — complex PTSD after two physically violent assaults, anxiety, and an eating disorder (though the EDNOS is mostly dormant, in that I eat normally but rather consistently put myself down for my physical appearance).  
  
Just over 3 weeks ago, my pet died unexpectedly. I’ve (I think) understandably been depressed. But I’ve still been getting my ass up out of bed every morning, getting to work, doing my usual routine. I am not moping around, with exception of the first week. I’m still cooking dinner, tidying the house, having normal conversations. 

My BF of 3 years has been irritated as hell with me, and finally exploded last night, telling me he is “sick and tired” of having to deal with my emotions, that i “need help” (I am in therapy), and that he is no longer attracted to me. 
  
He apologized last night, as well, and said he “didn’t mean it”. But... this morning, I am still a bit sullen over everything, which also irritated him and he left for the day. 

I guess this is mostly a vent, because I am feeling really abandoned. But, I am also curious, how long can one expect their SO to be patient? For whatever it’s worth, I feel I have been patient with his issues (which he refuses therapy for), which are mainly depression, alcoholism and a scary temper. I’ve never pushed him to go to therapy, and I don’t judge or belittle him for those issues. I think he would *benefit* from therapy, and I’ve been open about my feelings on that, but that’s it.  

I am feeling now, like no matter what I do, it’s never good enough. I see myself fighting really hard against my mental health issues and being proactive, and then just getting belittled by him. Anyway, thanks for listening. 
",7.188119147562156,7.4912052546012315,7.82427833387149,69.52648530836295,63.93865030674846,11.280335808847273,35.25605424604456,10.992663274268294,4.120732515337423,1387,59,235,36,19,462,186,326,0.23,0.669,0.102,-0.9953,0,0,1,0,2,0,61.0,0,0,1,2,18,15,5,0,9,0,30,10,1,2,2,56,51,26,1,7,11,0,5,1,1,2,5,2,2,0,17,18,5,3,9,1,1,4,7,8,1,3,7,8,36,7,38,40,5,38,1,3,1,1,23,11,2,5,24,175,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686462786830324,0.09266836148243487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386865179214596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633415939725365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719173438575685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052858604650354704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466664154135418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05592182769662042,0.08939588274862084,0.1493691992397312,0.0,0.0899929816507656,0.0,0.09937904000484113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774552895756394,0.0,0.09753891237109802,0.0,0.08959629298264765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305828788280927,0.0,0.07793082159607967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753760215218377,0.06194680559928484,0.0,0.09498835192960547,0.0,0.07375686794497804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590974291781702,0.0,0.04928021744137147,0.07272960100550656,0.0,0.0,0.09552263609448962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767658833119362,0.0,0.0,0.18434081515200856,0.0,0.0,0.058120977600028274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005357857306543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.362017652164914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21204465441173406,0.0,0.0,0.09421243940788693,0.0,0.0,0.04236292230862927,0.0,0.0,0.15347412729643636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445438515270377,0.0,0.0,0.1747698559338547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429557471988072,0.1337547088882148,0.0,0.0,0.1627459809746371,0.16991797301090747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587580444143237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136125489693283,0.08716913778356421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109938075633208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248261662914111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909794229598329,0.0,0.0,0.09795946010187484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077440585181884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839932982935896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578978634692142,0.07983241857326334,0.3966492223228285,0.0,0.0,0.11112262212756607,0.0851937359429911,0.0,0.0,0.09966226256954452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470466254592228,0.0902698645905936,0.0,0.0,0.09550060961214127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910967799641666,0.0,0.07796416876827468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312709916822845,0.0,0.0,0.061597453876396924,0.0,0.0,0.05583944658859117
mentalhealth,Rectivepw,2019/03/03,"Idk I feel like anything I do is superfluous, as if I'm not taking advantage of all the time I have available, but I'm doing all I want...Should be enough to feel satisfied...So why do I feel like that? What is it that prevents me from feeling satisfied with what I do? 
",3.0642857142857127,3.9252654285714286,4.830714285714286,85.36428571428574,73.28571428571428,8.457142857142857,28.285714285714285,8.841846274778883,2.0147285714285714,208,8,46,4,4,71,38,56,0.048,0.725,0.228,0.8654,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,0,2,11,15,3,0,1,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,5,14,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492644187367576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129810994559115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6126300341995058,0.4327897657105243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959674682721085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277463266039137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766259253960321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17866079620381742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27332400488975056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KindlyWrangler,2019/03/03,"Those who can't fit counselling/therapy into your schedule. How else do you cope? I (21 UK) have been depressed on and off since I was 16 (I think the trigger was my dad leaving the family) and I have had counselling in the past but now I'm at university and my medical training requires very long hours and I know from others' experiences that MH ""excuses"" as they're seen don't go down very well. I'm quite high functioning with it, I can still get up and go to work etc. but my mood and interest in hobbies/ friends/ relationships goes down the pan when I'm bad. What things have you tried other than talking therapies? 

​

I'm very reluctant to start medication because my mood is so up and down but it's so unpredictable when I'll feel shit and I think it's starting to impact on my partner and I don't want to ruin things with him (he's very supportive but I feel like I'm bringing him down with me) ",2.904021739130436,4.826235923913046,4.093913043478263,86.19402173913048,75.63043478260869,7.643478260869566,27.26086956521739,8.472884824447931,1.9162782608695657,726,29,149,14,16,237,113,184,0.094,0.809,0.097,0.3441,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,0,3,8,11,1,0,4,0,13,3,1,2,0,26,32,19,0,1,4,1,2,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,11,13,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,4,1,0,5,3,20,5,23,27,1,28,0,2,1,0,13,15,1,0,11,93,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855310332967595,0.16659746201815656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144768657507497,0.08357787530058414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180882506300002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453355216029674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290820704789929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341149018871097,0.1292502989679716,0.0,0.13864871532667628,0.09794776891848606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592690667872276,0.0,0.07163165215866474,0.0,0.15583975004050651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448588558565097,0.0,0.0,0.13502071014940295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534926817840462,0.0,0.0,0.14517429414349792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698252936298787,0.0,0.0,0.12133352325411274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762375278836049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088214208045107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458279391604126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719935397172168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073621098423947,0.1134145911987411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940871096995668,0.0,0.1094921513228272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558501728410695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019972626286158,0.0,0.0,0.3135828070061302,0.0,0.1821728085304821,0.17570256946215712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308522821379146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4525036095986639,0.08086802308106751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327377194934773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981400109347008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659746201815656,0.0
mentalhealth,thr0w4w4y20182,2019/03/03,"My mum has always been odd, but I'm growing increasingly concerned and am unsure what to do My mum has always been slightly strange but not to the point where anyone really noticed. When I was a child I remember she was always concerned that homeless people/animals were breaking into our house and car, she would stay up all night watching the car sometimes.
If I was upset or did anything wrong, she would cry and apologise for having me. I was an only child and didn't understand this was weird, no one else ever saw this behaviour.

I moved out around 5 years ago, around a year after I moved out she told me she would cry every night after I left and had planned suicide, however she said realised that was silly. 
She lost her house and now lives with my grandma. 

She acts incredibly strange since I moved out - as if she isn't quite there or doesn't ever quite understand what's going on. She can walk to the end of an aisle in a shop and not know which direction she came from.

I've tried to push for her to get help, however she's insistent there's nothing wrong and gets very distressed and confused if I try to speak to her about it. She's been seeing a doctor for sleep apnea and insists she is better since getting machine to help her breathe in her sleep, but she still doesn't seem right. She got lost trying to get to the shop the other day and thought she was in a completely different part of town. 

I'm not really sure what to do. What can I do if she doesn't want help? I'm worried she would eventually attempt something dangerous but I no longer live nearby to keep an eye on her. ",5.330377358490567,5.820784584905662,5.565088050314468,83.4832924528302,67.93081761006289,8.624150943396227,29.42201257861636,8.548686976883017,2.020681257861636,1270,43,254,18,20,403,168,318,0.191,0.748,0.061,-0.9922,3,0,1,0,0,1,24.0,1,0,0,7,12,12,1,3,13,0,32,5,4,0,4,49,55,23,1,9,13,2,0,0,0,4,1,2,0,2,11,19,0,1,6,2,2,12,10,9,0,1,22,6,42,3,35,29,3,45,0,2,4,0,36,17,0,8,14,170,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072627706539096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227327585175976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636768549860481,0.0,0.07494119502899478,0.16213963457571945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054223525483377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415751803974772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548305328723956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20006781825851586,0.058731318707158225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514666513522001,0.0,0.09321194509714299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607561879152559,0.0,0.08065920738810592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475241865377607,0.07672870803011861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031706116659816,0.0,0.05175603651956746,0.0,0.07283538961182623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18312285915532536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21016046338276356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094541248822998,0.0,0.0,0.0500485848385992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894563595205662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16082940455316616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19882293431580808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903725787362356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092227615994332,0.0,0.08738219107014877,0.10368150848658664,0.0,0.0,0.061710025856604074,0.06926130892480616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861775702032224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608868489507912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19372403107160535,0.0,0.0,0.11668097070730032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316227831196442,0.07777156458054274,0.08662651141030565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256939621162413,0.082904876443776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066476229352607,0.0,0.18226751339758,0.0,0.0,0.07010858671637349,0.09006856921570858,0.0,0.0,0.09706635874531472,0.07272701324273546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961359847172677,0.0,0.08583050140327021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229781046535448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701936563188,0.0,0.18548755896796626,0.0,0.0,0.189609975399376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514062791276671,0.053714259099633635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248396285352548,0.0,0.25876834461065223,0.19913709863557733,0.0,0.11728959760820128
mentalhealth,Noaaaaaaa,2019/03/03,"How do I stop thinking I'm a psychopath? I have OCD... and with OCD comes intrusive thoughts. I often have thoughts of harming others, even though I know I would never do that (I'm generally a nice and kind person). However, recently I can't help but think these thoughts make me a psychopath. I know this can't be, because I care for others and have other people's best interests at heart. I am getting myself in somewhat of a state of knowing that I'm not a psychopath, but constantly thinking it every time I get a thought or impulse. It's getting to the state where it's lowering my mood. Any tips?",3.9815312791783377,5.431496042016812,4.9364145658263325,83.22116713352008,71.77310924369748,7.641830065359478,32.54995331465919,8.167268648758528,2.4802093370681613,475,23,91,7,9,155,75,119,0.104,0.78,0.116,0.5088,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,7,0,10,1,1,2,1,27,29,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,10,5,0,1,10,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,0,13,5,8,23,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,5,63,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171597865601308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502340741637656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18080259974281046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565615762088865,0.0,0.0,0.1484083719781737,0.0,0.1861790046245488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137926940366992,0.0,0.14515764054334945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27003558638616304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041586915827807,0.11547908141545887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940843601656242,0.28405018177236785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500165252182193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287690224084986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944080648257505,0.1504327176514397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701107670873546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440380711122329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311800366489939,0.1692692514009432,0.547100549613407,0.1004608364240995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238640306652301,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SpencerBee,2019/03/03,"How do I get motivated?? I find that I have no motivation. I'm 19 and I never leave my house. I've never had a job and I've put off college a year and I'm not sure If I'll go this year - I've been accepted, I just don't want to. I'm currently doing a temp job, where I essentially sit around for 6 hours a day for $12 an hour and still barely made it in to work today.

I have all these dreams for myself, but no motivation to get started on them. I often blame my depression, or anxiety, or bpd, but Im starting to think it's just me being a shitty human being.",0.9811904761904772,1.9638228333333352,4.308126984126982,86.61742857142859,78.60317460317461,7.5796825396825405,21.33015873015873,8.238735603445708,0.8935453968253966,431,11,104,8,10,160,81,126,0.18600000000000005,0.721,0.093,-0.9213,3,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,4,7,3,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,5,4,27,20,10,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,6,1,0,2,6,1,0,0,3,0,13,2,11,15,1,20,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,4,12,65,18,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091764933812634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398304971094926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320019363430335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879810609352112,0.0,0.1586569923523643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836162010797034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924808340896408,0.0,0.10468893348179396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628130599496304,0.21254984201951985,0.0,0.0,0.1989748856123172,0.0,0.3655935251106745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950483367549637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17430086814693968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284143182572884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517864857121696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607649526097193,0.0,0.14710773783498193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361266929160654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803223890068465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746064476119704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864990590574664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410469816988208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23724619788976806
mentalhealth,Ivan-Nikitin-19,2019/03/03,"When the waves get to big I have struggled for years with my mental health. Every combo of drugs and therapy and it just never gets better. And so I decided to go and try cannabis. And I kinda feel that it alongside with my current medication regimen might be helping. That is until last night when my wife found out. It turned into a huge fight. She ended up telling my family who we live with while I'm in my final year of nursing school. I ended up having the worst panic/anxiety attack ever. 

I know I should have told her up front. But how can you tell someone that mentally you don't feel like you can make it one more day. 

I just cant fake it anymore. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm honestly terrified that they will try and put me on a mental health hold. I honestly feel like I have not a single person to talk or turn to.

Even right now as I write this on my phone I'm struggling to get my thoughts in order. I don't want to hurt myself or anyone. I'm just so over it all.",1.605919145690315,3.4405800724637707,3.423198576150522,89.9246681922197,79.19323671497584,6.483498601576406,21.03966437833715,7.475848149327749,0.6525420289855077,773,21,167,11,19,259,128,207,0.127,0.784,0.08900000000000001,-0.7916,1,0,1,0,1,2,18.0,1,3,1,1,11,13,2,2,5,0,16,4,0,2,3,38,36,17,0,2,7,1,3,2,0,3,4,0,0,1,13,12,0,1,8,0,0,3,6,7,0,1,3,3,28,6,25,29,4,33,0,1,0,0,18,13,0,4,18,115,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148615018888864,0.0,0.11860131052490648,0.08362022516292235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605107921242324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576778404979208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712576407053985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868662600094564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21184278289918915,0.0,0.0,0.07898817722023216,0.10817615244175713,0.10075987332201687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273896590764045,0.0,0.18140514469013774,0.17087047796410898,0.0,0.13100518209305426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112444509939314,0.0,0.0,0.1874427785878815,0.0,0.06796584768916297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542375098166548,0.0,0.0,0.08015876788304283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802374686950854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144725612489047,0.0974819473432369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685142942892066,0.0,0.10560030818498443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982736490168364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047451142143133,0.3615562803630787,0.12686626818591487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922353090549974,0.0,0.0,0.1122272701830612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103739197027897,0.0,0.0,0.1403132934755602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442152075018872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022114855401715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212934892784263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210316333094867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132836015579706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500432160769287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961220459943284,0.20905415368255365,0.0,0.1367617780019481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494123400447206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427352920094445,0.0,0.16238774616219767,0.2601595203663164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053737879100729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402429286771907
mentalhealth,Mithrandir_97,2019/03/03,"Melancholia: A personal journey https://medium.com/@kafka3783/melancholia-ec891308b247

I recently started writing down my thoughts to help myself deal with my mental problems better. It has been incredibly helpful so I thought I should start a blog related to the thoughts I go through and steps I take to help myself. If you're interested please give this first introductory blog a read. All criticisms welcome :) 

kafka",8.97283482142857,13.210395078125005,6.781964285714286,62.72375000000002,66.96875,9.282142857142855,38.83035714285714,9.606745405546679,4.9771232142857125,351,19,44,9,7,102,51,64,0.083,0.612,0.305,0.9459,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,10,11,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,3,0,3,0,1,0,1,4,0,9,3,6,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,29,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18868365053238875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199462208792008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18146858523676765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046570739535356,0.12124716773381995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42899591068006265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149985444203623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18628199414685503,0.0,0.2341854364334139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20413946918472045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133997204660632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106494744867114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020091130613213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040662355716748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5081091216654482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grotesquefantasia,2019/03/03,"Help? Hello. This is my first post ever on Reddit and I apolagize if I may sound dramatic. Also, I'm sorry if my english isn't the best. So...Furst if all I have to give you some info about me: I have 'mild' genetic OCD that I got from my father but I started therapy only in 2017. I feel like since the day that I got 'help' everything started to get worse and worse. Since I was severely suicidal, I immediately got hospitalized on the 26th of october 2017. A week later I was set free from that hell of an hospital, just to be re-admitted two days later. While I was under treatment, I was prescribed Quetiapine (I don't know why since it is an antipsychotic and I have OCD??) and Zoloft. After another week in, I got out and since then I was never admitted again, which is one of the best things to ever happen. The first few months after the hospital everything was okay. My grades got better and I felt somewhat happier. But that happiness didn't last long. One by one my intrusive thoughts got worse and worse and worse and they still haven't gotten better. I started to get anger outbursts at school, which is very unusual since I've always been an introverted and overall calm person. Every single second an unwanted, grotesque and violent pops into my head. Sometimes violent versions of the place I am in start to flicker before my eyes, just to disappear in a flash. 
Since early December 2018 I started to have weird blackouts that still continue to happen 'till this very day. Furing these episodes my vision goes blurry or nearly completely black. I can't concentrate and my head feels heavy. These 'blackouts' happen every single day, usually around 11am. I've always had this feeling of extreme anxiety 24/7, but lately it has gone worse. I told my psychiatrist everything. Every single pain in the ass that torment me. All he did was changing the dosage of my medication from 25mg of Quetiapine at 9pm and 50mg of Zoloft in the morning to 25mg of Quetiapine with 75mg of Zoloft in the morning and 25mg of Quetiapine at night. Nothing changed. Nothing! 

Do any of you, please, have any tips for me? I really want to learn how to cope but nothing seems to help me. Thanks in advance. Have a good day/night.",4.478534877072612,6.2201356556603775,5.618078902229847,77.66831618067471,70.98113207547169,9.007318467695823,28.88622069754145,9.496760409515344,2.7565449685534578,1754,68,320,41,33,582,213,424,0.188,0.71,0.101,-0.9931,0,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,2,1,7,11,17,4,0,18,1,30,9,4,1,5,49,61,27,1,5,10,1,4,1,0,1,5,1,0,1,16,18,0,0,10,0,1,3,6,6,0,7,22,7,42,12,53,37,11,58,1,0,2,1,13,19,2,8,35,210,58,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537129686441915,0.11177569828659756,0.0,0.0,0.09135094929679304,0.07042985668257085,0.05138213399749891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979236151852878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05715368365410815,0.0,0.14097404584598627,0.11880649565960195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210635090879367,0.0,0.07042272243900229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21658394937102046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151175994661788,0.16977183875090046,0.0,0.18109456519098047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188409319945793,0.04798370997599842,0.06449030450973182,0.0,0.0,0.11426345962383895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018337344964809,0.06443215853562734,0.0,0.056336013577407126,0.3223147720846319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17818515283642494,0.07149991214523209,0.0,0.0,0.13786426641306307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506072374683292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036912912576755184,0.054749603851356216,0.0757666569671418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032814124281761003,0.0,0.0,0.05944017566175101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676631104965987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053611602462823454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05180289037608013,0.0,0.0,0.12606228642944745,0.0,0.19334399904450908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654113079720895,0.05108309554681427,0.07146981556161326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058647134679194975,0.07017462218826798,0.07372856884701946,0.0,0.0,0.0643268720343693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04302853402328146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797601153621942,0.0,0.061145793956507925,0.0,0.07587894609674621,0.0,0.3333645826474594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642931527623844,0.07518731776427319,0.23770371915398775,0.0,0.10727839320352492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346917128028348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183782331378524,0.07681066465824209,0.0,0.04462239061981308,0.0,0.0,0.053322641705150366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418040083277178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561184102873699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397433184533632,0.11083867558098487,0.03961649978044509,0.0,0.10775371513122298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060725469594552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41068997328063817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gotlembas,2019/03/03,"Sunlight makes it better? Yes, I am aware that SAD is a thing, but I'm not quite sure if that's what I'm talking about or not. I have anxiety issues and where I live it's been cold, but quite sunny lately and it seems to be making me feel happier and more productive during the daylight hours. As soon as night hits and the sun sets, I'm back to feeling inexplicably restless and anxious again. Anyone else?",2.922508710801392,4.762623585365857,4.088327526132404,86.61573170731708,75.34146341463416,6.636933797909408,23.90940766550523,7.447530270364453,1.0171651567944249,322,10,65,4,7,105,61,82,0.115,0.7020000000000001,0.183,0.7263,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,5,4,0,1,3,1,5,0,0,2,1,17,14,11,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,4,2,5,11,1,8,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,6,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855657356707174,0.2489171656547126,0.0,0.15406417917103574,0.22576045313373505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942492082760705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19486944457064065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840626043263763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228171845558193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21698675260952024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299737253557489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24854880666565485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945608824782488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29415222035106114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677057766433696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4687092953835502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005857817787176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076642407893821,0.0,0.0,0.17709787419853926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463815665502186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PensiveOlive,2019/03/03,"What do you do if you can't recover after almost a decade of struggling? I am 20 years old. I've been depressed since I was 12 years old and have suffered from disordered eating since I was 15. 

And I just don't care about anything. I don't care about anyone in my life. I don't care about meeting new people. I don't care about trying anymore. 

But I'm not sad. My life just feels like one long stretched out drag. Like I'm just dead or inhuman or something. 

I don't want to get better and I don't want to try to get better. I just want to move on. Every time I try therapy, opening up has just triggered a major depressive episode which always last more than two weeks where I feel so sad that I can't do anything at all, like laundry or shower.

I'd just rather feel nothing. And it doesn't feel like anything is wrong with me. But it's been 8 years and I haven't been able to recover. I tried being positive, I tried making friends, I tried therapy, and meds won't help me because I hate the feeling of artificial euphoria.

My parents think people with mental health issues are murderers so I couldn't get treatment even if I tried because I can't move out. They would get so angry and even though I hate my mom I'd be all alone if I moved out.

I feel like I'm just making up all my problems. I have an internship at a huge company that my peers I'm sure are insanely jealous of. I do well in school.  And yet it seems my only nerf is how I feel indifferent about everything.

I don't know what the point of this post is. I just wish my entire childhood never happened to me but it doesn't look like recovery is in the cards for this life. I feel like I just faked my entire life.

Has anyone else felt like this? ",1.6896334856949409,3.562378555865924,3.143702386998477,91.84613424750296,79.08379888268156,6.238835280176063,22.580328423903843,7.229369725052465,0.6847884543761635,1345,42,295,17,33,440,169,358,0.127,0.753,0.12,0.3307,3,1,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,2,25,30,4,1,7,0,38,6,0,4,5,63,72,22,2,11,20,2,9,8,1,2,5,0,1,0,12,14,1,0,12,0,0,3,17,13,1,2,6,10,46,17,32,61,5,34,0,5,1,0,8,16,0,8,22,180,58,1,0.07328500291926959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338434442690946,0.07590116142388252,0.0,0.0,0.06097899316801319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267903062819632,0.1024851560046874,0.07508914591176284,0.1809219393468876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934771514556393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962925927900248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29887577866242715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624053125760035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399096246038121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498885360744853,0.06122021621286813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680810652170793,0.0,0.061745775715742864,0.0,0.06586383517957245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964407955515393,0.20941928291424866,0.07036509542564064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056619811464117875,0.0,0.15315355719347332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480568605407122,0.0,0.0,0.14470753628352329,0.0,0.07789853114194999,0.0,0.0,0.04912139267522436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649050300621094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040275521036030375,0.059737058598247926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20705345942759493,0.2864268052629849,0.0,0.0,0.06485492143900166,0.06154094515256112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783661703197263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140311732201674,0.0,0.07385404612598162,0.0,0.0,0.08583050969357467,0.0,0.23367108062879985,0.0,0.0,0.056521912128462935,0.0707791124871886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031893680849788,0.0,0.15380056539873554,0.0,0.049659814608879936,0.05573654706881228,0.0,0.0,0.08137432304647219,0.0,0.0,0.10161318716362146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927801556502501,0.0,0.07018677495077302,0.0,0.0,0.07012385043790961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416833545387798,0.0,0.06671591426548426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124422344228793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05641837562855436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661339693127367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907024795902697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16761557537903965,0.0,0.0,0.04695807075194562,0.07200214327989908,0.0,0.04273307454460811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482899449977562,0.0,0.0715887991247173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967618041221507,0.0,0.05878480885860631,0.0,0.06589201879945701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427413663198106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052059563424395015,0.08012564621972766,0.0,0.14157941741042238
mentalhealth,DavidRothbauer,2019/03/03,"I was trapped in a suicidal depression...this is what saved me I hope its okay to post a link.

[https://davidrothbauer.wordpress.com/2019/03/02/3-days-that-saved-my-life/](https://davidrothbauer.wordpress.com/2019/03/02/3-days-that-saved-my-life/)",30.986428571428572,40.72194847619049,8.371785714285718,44.39196428571432,40.42857142857144,7.814285714285713,24.29761904761905,8.07648339933343,2.434704761904764,222,4,18,3,4,39,19,21,0.298,0.415,0.287,-0.3182,0,1,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,11,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5235403038397803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37231419123647225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5048267712799331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5765740405692579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PaulBlartMallCop3,2019/03/03,Why am I on Abilify/Aripiprazole I was taking Lexapro for about a month and my psychiatrist prescribed me abilify on top of the lexapro..... why? ,3.5548717948717896,6.5661642307692345,4.582307692307693,77.64602564102567,79.76923076923076,9.620512820512822,35.5897435897436,9.725611199111238,4.527528205128206,114,7,20,4,3,37,21,26,0.0,0.921,0.079,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,5,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779826582586116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560502573363157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8546094571829268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,momsbiryani,2019/03/03,What do you recommend for someone who can't afford meds/doctor/therapist? I know someone close to me who doesn't have those options. What are some no-cost methods you guys have used to improve your mental health? ,5.489666666666667,7.263509300000003,4.949999999999998,83.32166666666669,68.5,7.333333333333335,30.833333333333336,7.793537801064563,2.1390833333333332,172,7,30,2,3,52,33,40,0.0,0.847,0.153,0.6966,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,8,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,0,20,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33311297300887865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222477385637031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34593928142753605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885940340691234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279781437827331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5515072913639859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778737903859038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28108524133200435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Vatosian,2019/03/03,"I don't care about people in a positive way/No positive emotions For a couple of years I have noticed I don't really feel positive emotions. I'm not super depressed but I don't feel happy when I probably should. I easily get sad though.  


The thing that is bugging me now is that I noticed I don't feel that I love people. Like my best friends, my family. I can feel comfortable around them, I can think ""man they are so good!"", if they do something really cool I can say how proud I am, but I dont FEEL any of this. I still say it to them because I want to express it, but it just feels insincere, like there is some kind of disconnect. People don't know this as I am generally very expressive, I act like I (probably) would do if I did feel things, because obviously I dont want to be a monotone person. That would just make it worse (I think?).  


I was worried about being a sociopath or lacking empathy in general, but that just isn't true. It's just that i only feel my connections with people in a negative way. Like I know I probably love my family and friends, but I cant feel the positive sides of it? If I start thinking about losing them, I get really freaked out and sad (just thinking about it now I could cry). If I lost someone dear to me I'm positive I would be distraught. So obviously there is something there and I'm not all empty.  


**Does anyone else recognise this in themselves?** And if you used to be like this, what did you do?? Realizing now this is probably not healthy or normal.  


For context I am diagnosed with ADHD (primarily inattentive) and a mild mixed personality disorder. My therapist thinks I am scared of my emotions somehow and therefore not feeling them fully (probably true). This particular subject I have not brought up to him because it is v hard to talk about for me and I feel like I would have difficulty articulating it.  


tldr: I only feel like I care for my loved ones at the thought of losing them. This scares me. Help?  
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mentalhealth,icantseemydash,2019/03/03,Suicide thoughts People are afraid of death. But that's not the case with me. Most of the time I just want to get terminal cancer and get it over with. I don't want the stigma of suicide. But I want death. And it's great if it's painless. Why is that?,-1.0466666666666669,1.048690537037043,0.5906481481481514,102.85041666666667,97.33333333333331,3.4407407407407407,16.00925925925926,5.148860815047168,-1.033251851851852,195,5,47,1,8,62,35,54,0.31,0.541,0.149,-0.9432,0,0,0,0,0,2,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,14,9,5,4,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,7,8,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29567185410518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119665213884853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961701706493891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6190288390054974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22464016139177276,0.16499737405717393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5006948241799165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25532912550906944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cpedretti,2019/03/03,"Needing advice about mental health My apologies in advance if this post is a long one and if there are excessive spelling or grammar errors.  I'm on my phone. 

I need some advice on what to do, or if any of you think I need to see a professional.

For starters I have never seen a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist, just my regular family GP and I don't talk about this with him.  My childhood pediatrician recommended ritalin for me when I was a kid but ADD was kind of a taboo topic back then, at least for my family.  Btw, I am a female in my 30s.

It all started with insomnia. For 6ish months now I have been waking up out of a dead sleep with absolute alertness and fail to go back to sleep before I have to get up. I have generally been waking up at about 1 or 2 am. I do go to bed early, at 9ish because I start my day at 530, so I thought maybe that was my problem. However, even if I stay up late, my internal clock gets me up at 1 or 2. It's gotten so bad, I have to leave the bed so I don't wake up my husband. I end up binge watching some dumb show on Netflix all night. Despite my lack of sleep, I am rarely tired during the day. 

Maybe its the lack of sleep but I cannot focus on anything for a long period of time unless I am super interested in it. All day long I have dozens of random passing thoughts all at the same time. Sometimes I will get obsessed with a random thought and think about it for a long time. Like, last week I had this obsessive inner dialog conversation with myself over Kim Jong Un's hair and whether or not he likes the style or if he's just stuck with it. Like if he sees another man with an approved hair style and wished he'd chosen that one for his self instead.  I seriously had an hour long conversation with my inner self about his hair.  I was supposed to be working. I will often be driving and have random thoughts and by the time I get to my destination,  I can't even remember the drive there. This will happen even with other people in the car.  

I can't seem to stay focused on a conversation with anyone to save my life. Like if I'm on the phone with someone and they're telling me something, I guess I get bored, start thinking about something else and then have to pretend I know what the heck they said or pretend my phone cut out so they have to repeat themselves.  If I'm talking to someone in person,  I really have to try hard to pay attention but then I just focus on paying attention and not what we were talking about.  It's kind of frustrating. 

I also cant remember anything! I lose my car keys daily. I even forget people's names when I am talking about them even if I have known them and have been close with them for years. I'll usually have to relate them to something I know my husband will get and refer to them as ""what's his or her name down the street with the black Ford?"" 

I am having the most bizarre, vivid dreams. One woke me last night at 1 am and it took me a few minutes to realize that my ideas in my dream didn't make sense. By then I was already wide awake and obsessing over the dream.  It was a cool dream, but scarily real and I ended up waking to an overbearing feeling of dread and had to convince myself it wasnt real. I'll type it up in the comments if anyone wants to hear it. About a month ago I woke up in a pool of sweat. My clothes were so soaked that I had to change. That has never ever happened before.

I am not unhappy by any means. I actually have a better life than I ever expected to have. I just feel constantly busy with things that don't matter. I kind of talked to my husband about all this but he thinks I am ok and just stressed. I dont think I am stressed. I dont feel stressed, just... consumed.

I do not use illegal drugs. I just quit smoking a few months ago. I am not taking any prescriptions. I don't even take vitamins.  I do drink coffee regularly and have a few beers here and there. I eat ok and I consider myself physically healthy. Nothing has changed significantly in my life in the last few years. 

I don't know if my insurance covers psychiatric care or whatever or if I even need it. I'd rather not go to a psychiatrist mostly because its probably going to be expensive and because I dont know if I am ready for that or what it even entails.  So I am taking it up with all you good people of reddit to give me advice on what I should do or if anyone else has had similar issues and how they overcame them. 

Anything helps, even criticism. I have a good sense of humor so bring it people. 

If you've made it this far.. thanks for reading.",2.5873975917016594,4.171411203426128,4.0991075947606985,87.27864220362079,75.61670235546039,7.250234989849551,24.870769487471836,8.00094639256281,1.308467604772102,3560,119,759,56,77,1184,361,934,0.08800000000000001,0.799,0.113,0.9776,1,0,6,0,0,1,85.0,1,2,9,8,49,36,3,7,39,3,80,24,12,4,10,162,143,74,1,27,49,3,7,4,0,5,9,2,2,5,39,43,3,1,26,12,3,12,22,16,0,4,30,16,117,20,124,104,18,115,0,2,6,0,50,47,2,38,57,528,156,7,0.0,0.0,0.050588406870312984,0.0,0.0,0.15197247890367704,0.09190614584259403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057206779835058716,0.04145646604940939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575902683364403,0.0543588082380457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874329649325144,0.0531162532906026,0.12797982237631114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972359094343727,0.043284273042003565,0.09480363262192083,0.0,0.0882241218764379,0.0,0.0,0.04584830794205425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285438184539494,0.0,0.10967978982656616,0.0,0.0,0.056020673202128925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029762313185056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226844344948528,0.05078350935918186,0.06011799522378632,0.05304530893007788,0.08661141291151002,0.0,0.09182978761369692,0.0,0.0,0.30815875315520425,0.09378457899432628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774036342803412,0.0,0.07863565461587915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16250570646664458,0.04972969583038031,0.11784757116320148,0.08696194208522504,0.0,0.0,0.0571076551571354,0.0,0.09168396293025588,0.0,0.04643849878485992,0.0,0.0,0.055103544738195454,0.05842749945121538,0.0,0.03474729008624455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051052002918709406,0.0,0.0,0.058521101931329665,0.0,0.05410753954743066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195029161409008,0.11395973416848572,0.12676966944338552,0.05847782987089153,0.054891123592332884,0.0,0.0,0.1098484727264237,0.10130571171660857,0.0,0.0,0.22938404695295006,0.0,0.05799575129329024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04905230495620263,0.03460363324329588,0.0,0.10416058794669304,0.05646900751403178,0.0,0.0,0.05224257344960647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241346903804852,0.0,0.0,0.15375494895684072,0.07996447861086446,0.0,0.0,0.09729674284235376,0.0,0.04974192226177585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538447038254672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375744247752398,0.04526472859522551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049648434146748965,0.0,0.055892337511741184,0.04960392286189071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513827002841965,0.051854074643297575,0.1180106431354735,0.033210060901836334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744933298873125,0.0,0.04931175498816577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261960980229452,0.047193230893900234,0.10816094772430347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750993700744652,0.0,0.08784780548109622,0.11972700023724245,0.051271131031270976,0.0,0.11007795411424856,0.1105091829768162,0.0,0.0,0.17814779259908242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693178903487075,0.20833532650611167,0.04531048513832457,0.04772734941833342,0.0,0.060190288966310325,0.03444022306843417,0.16608504130739185,0.0,0.16462082370890796,0.12091339081495853,0.059582506887388476,0.0,0.0,0.057596198538245415,0.035195988357644016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477315529785827,0.0570944867521405,0.0,0.03057660225454809,0.0,0.041582957950308204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961349450493528,0.0,0.0,0.037740170893142286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676657995058201
mentalhealth,Fkdupsavagesweethrt,2019/03/03,"No psychiatrists or therapists in network? Basically I wanted to know if anyone ran into this situation. I have 2 insurances. My primary has no psychiatrists or therapists in network. I checked multiple times. The secondary has 2, but the copay is $90 a visit I am supposed to be seen twice a week.

With everything I pay for, I barely make ends meat as is. I can't afford this. Anyone ran into this and found a solution? I hate I can't get Medicaid just for mental health only :( ",2.4707608695652183,5.077794119565219,5.313217391304349,73.35569565217392,80.63043478260869,8.897391304347826,27.67826086956521,9.3871,3.273457391304348,377,17,65,12,10,135,63,92,0.16,0.807,0.034,-0.8782,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,5,0,9,1,0,1,0,13,18,6,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,2,3,4,1,0,1,4,1,10,0,10,13,0,10,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,3,3,46,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347093688406216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21198748275156645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151066901958868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624280200949222,0.0,0.0,0.1250472079624363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363023584299571,0.0,0.2544111675152357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153704157000393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15976378244853048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412021616479059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820316738348381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690323539202475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5557929807148698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956323985876376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117111912106212,0.0,0.19198708415471188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bored_blue_jay,2019/03/03,"I'm getting silent. I can barely speak at all to people anymore, I have to utilize a notebook to write down the sentences I'd much rather say. I feel like a coward, seeing these sentences and paragraphs written down on this little notebook. I can't say these things, although I really want to say these things. When I try to say all those paragraphs, I fuck it up. I don't say the right sentences, slur through some words, and then my voice hurts afterward.

I can't really talk about this to people at school, they haven't met people with these problems and they've never felt it themselves. They just seem to have a slight interest in my upholding of silence, and that's it. They think it's interesting that I can stay quiet.

Why would I open up to people who most likely don't care or understand these issues? They'll probably spread these issues to toxic groups of people, or they'll just not remember and not care. It's all one-sided and these are basic ways to tackle such issues, and I'd rather not fall victim to that.",6.089626865671643,6.332484094527366,5.912649253731343,82.5053917910448,66.26368159203979,8.491044776119404,28.192786069651746,8.07648339933343,1.7219681592039802,817,23,157,9,12,255,109,201,0.095,0.826,0.079,-0.7831,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,5,0,7,10,2,0,5,0,13,1,0,0,4,35,27,12,0,5,9,0,2,2,0,3,0,8,0,0,21,9,0,0,6,0,0,1,9,4,0,0,3,11,18,6,24,21,6,18,0,1,1,1,16,11,1,5,6,106,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179062436447935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25041794982743754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062094439870181525,0.08773268231439828,0.1179130876028804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135322346153968,0.06416110394226171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146643992136275,0.0,0.0,0.3845328991825617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999368712744135,0.1230839463722296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027659310578563,0.0,0.09471561341558546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321657257620849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4256913376993013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240571625352274,0.1175088255010526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734542859679249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391153398675149,0.10487571441504127,0.0,0.4883015873108946,0.0,0.124286301081973,0.0978605395610926,0.11179803559856656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089493279434974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870686879452327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317379470304658,0.07868917219173954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337726162849342,0.0,0.0,0.12784545185299642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243420301149606,0.09747774373456064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081337864135364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723791001058692,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,in__sight__,2019/03/03,"what else? i'm just waiting for something to happen, i just don't know what that *something* is. 

i broke down on my way to work before my boyfriend dropped me off.  i admitted to him i wanted to be alone --for reasons i'm not even sure of myself.  

​

i feel empty and i don't even know what i need. ",-0.7882812500000007,1.3500067343750004,1.102875000000001,98.554625,98.84375,3.1850000000000005,18.9,4.935628992294339,-0.5382012499999997,237,8,52,1,10,77,43,64,0.14800000000000002,0.828,0.024,-0.7321,0,1,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,13,14,1,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,12,1,10,13,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,36,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512963077934321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26289452639431976,0.29482764004304485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064642040836165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20269010391939293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205157770579746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268336215802883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145610070241185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26669130065845104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799105079490133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24946881622692416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735839932140379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22868027267128024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311219457436386,0.19259208009503975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664090454411896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29482764004304485,0.0
mentalhealth,thetruth-revealed,2019/03/03,"I struggle to think I’m worthy of support It’s hard for me to think outside of myself. I do things for other people sometimes, but typically it’s to look better.
 
I chase highs day to day, month to month, year to year.

I wallow in self pity or self admiration. Do I really feel that way? Or am I just a narcissist looking for attention?

I’m probably schizophrenic if I’m honest with a psych, but I just dropped LSD

Everyone understandably gets exhausted dealing with me, I’m tired of dealing with me

And I’m so backed up emotionally, i don’t really cry I just have a few tears and then nothing. Everything he just superficial for me ",2.2930523076923066,4.7356004960000035,4.491199999999999,79.98898461538462,80.04,8.326153846153849,26.415384615384607,9.057496981413335,2.5674923076923086,502,21,96,14,13,173,74,125,0.153,0.7040000000000001,0.142,-0.1186,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,19,18,9,0,1,9,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,14,4,18,18,1,13,0,1,2,0,5,3,0,3,8,60,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475055054049032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434858011144826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821017190063024,0.20925941001124232,0.3345192825759721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249524467123016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502479352179416,0.14580851896827898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203210692807114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476234829106148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533284868704366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17141272640140967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724771202326233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589926985288597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15567116617969212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247498940487874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491936309119774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20786687262628067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384979932768267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045694247572498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960576178446612,0.0,0.0,0.1841050852030511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077833232969327,0.2079103572174734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646803157820224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688948607733357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877650098556598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20895114000698212
mentalhealth,c0kelight,2019/03/03,"cut myself after 5 months of being clean i did it. i self-harmed, again. i held it for so long and finally i broke down. i did it on my bathroom where it was dark, and the only source of light was my phone. it was horrible and comforting at the same time.

i hate myself. i'm weak and useless. i'm so so so anxious i want to die. i've been doing so well for four months and my mental health has been going downhill the past few weeks. i'm suffering. i don't want to go back to that hole again.",-0.6755499640546391,1.37628981308411,1.6256074766355155,98.0676851186197,90.12149532710279,4.787634795111432,15.707404744787922,6.297961479604792,-0.5867593098490302,378,8,91,4,13,127,66,107,0.238,0.6609999999999999,0.1,-0.9536,0,0,0,0,0,2,14.0,0,0,0,0,10,8,2,0,3,0,11,2,0,0,0,9,20,10,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,6,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,6,1,1,8,1,13,2,11,11,2,17,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,11,62,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689045354236133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830292800598888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470360789761205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607486670477921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705542468867285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23500393669383304,0.0,0.2530132424500384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21064779684000545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398768167314836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799842721906011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810314557941017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272252064848291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483157138094789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879637512918375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28079083900262763,0.0,0.19093216365041465,0.0,0.2140162732677192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jackie9546,2019/03/03,"depressed at home (and other stuff) I'm a college student graduating this month. going to master's from April. ever since I moved to a new town last October and the cold kicked in, I've been suffering from the worst depressive episode of my life ever. on top of being generally sad and anxious, my mental abilities seem to have declined. I can't remember things or sit still for a long time, and panic attacks are more frequent. I also have trouble comprehending written texts so I just stopped reading. 

since I'm done with my thesis and have a good amount of time at hand, I took a part-time job which helped me with my depression. I have gotten better to the point that I'm able to do housework like a normal person, but I noticed myself feeling more active when I'm outside my house. once I'm inside, I feel like I'm living the depressive episode again, and at most times I can't get anything done other than the things I really have to do, like take out the trash or wash my clothes.

I'm not really sure what I want to get out of this post. I don't even know if I want advice or not, since I already tried everything I can. I've invited friends over, saved up to buy a display and Fire TV for distraction, been trying to keep my room organized, spending less time on my phone, etc. I don't know. I'm just tired of trying. 

also I got a letter from the police that I have to go renew my license which includes sitting down for 2 hours of boring lecture. I'm sick of life fucking everything for me when things look like they start rolling. I'm not even sure if I can go to school from next month.",5.4887463223275565,5.479735723602488,6.007672441974503,82.17565707747632,67.54037267080746,8.890748610657077,30.611964694344557,8.532816995589336,2.1628857142857143,1261,44,255,17,19,409,175,322,0.14800000000000002,0.737,0.115,-0.8749,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,3,13,23,2,2,15,0,20,7,1,0,4,40,51,18,0,5,11,0,4,4,1,0,5,0,2,1,13,11,0,2,6,2,2,5,7,13,0,0,8,6,32,10,40,42,7,44,0,6,1,1,6,15,1,7,25,155,45,7,0.09487019655750956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270605808960512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469162099809412,0.15173532382276486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071763183821434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807008830220892,0.0,0.0,0.1079285444904263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390497931036929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268462451212888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417029861408955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580534696552137,0.12532174016820372,0.17163104841504578,0.0,0.0,0.1705264308006042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593844381987553,0.06777528737664641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329647852463415,0.08770596799943671,0.09913152415667126,0.0,0.16175075696451088,0.07957261978645025,0.07587636274442977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358949297458241,0.0,0.09516254239019824,0.0,0.09342803346332833,0.10946746931095458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414403137185376,0.08432498972253986,0.0,0.0,0.10427635791605136,0.0773318723508312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340192509472035,0.1853951438370886,0.0,0.08377212166285485,0.0839571385624126,0.07966707143874913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095606844421602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144897155546713,0.10083200503055416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162622700885588,0.10089553031782553,0.0,0.09295264977637893,0.0,0.10801034757615366,0.0,0.10103366310548063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130973473448502,0.0,0.10273517783861813,0.0,0.0,0.08283699631994991,0.0,0.0,0.08968300050432247,0.0,0.09085942375758166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489586978003726,0.0,0.12155255440992098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746943886010976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601370379426652,0.0,0.08636626387056069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354328208617974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714961341762718,0.0,0.07576346151965592,0.07931573232827606,0.0,0.0,0.1086036775626838,0.0,0.0,0.17882807502558862,0.0,0.07133058106960903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18908262924252192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22127829815437966,0.10903933497316046,0.0,0.0,0.1054042791026254,0.1932319080578792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191379986331068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darltheman,2019/03/03,"I hate this cycle From October 2017 to February 2018, I was always tired, felt constantly sad or empty, never had enough motivation to shower, didn't ever change clothes, didn't really tend to schoolwork, slept too much or too little, had little to no appetite or the opposite, and imagined my death or killing others. 
In March until late July of 2018, this miraculously went away.
I felt so happy and energized all the time. I didn't even need sleep. I could sleep for 2 hours and be totally energized. I think I would sleep maybe 5-6 hours at most. Everything seemed to make me laugh and I felt like the world was so special and wonderful. I was truly energetic and hyper during those months and found myself starting and working on several projects and taking initiative to do things. I even started studying another language, Hindi, and I was making a lot of progress. It felt great. I miss those days, I felt like I was high or something.
In August, up to the present, I have been experiencing sadness again and I am doing poorly in school. I am suicidal and keep having random times where I start to sweat, my heart pounds, I struggle to breathe, and my head pounds. It feels as though I am dying. 
I hate that I am in this cycle of pain. 
Idek what I am experiencing but it is destroying me.",4.6647969924812,6.432050702040819,5.332824919441459,79.79582169709992,70.55102040816327,8.423200859291086,27.996777658431807,8.99025400887824,2.323448979591838,1022,37,187,20,19,330,152,245,0.133,0.7609999999999999,0.106,-0.6825,1,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,3,10,17,4,1,5,0,24,10,8,3,4,44,48,24,4,3,6,0,6,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,12,13,0,1,12,0,1,1,5,9,0,0,19,8,29,8,24,26,6,32,0,3,0,0,0,13,0,10,20,131,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626312746837787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870877655374353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740293879604772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967087166908053,0.0,0.0,0.11203223622658776,0.0,0.08277338599907612,0.0,0.0,0.06685964523090701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759481716305452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712053968125664,0.0,0.13694830955711698,0.0937769532900236,0.0,0.0,0.0931734047165608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052419507122379895,0.0,0.4977052654266036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367062597171368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429837297803415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036041160838847,0.0,0.20470860536622404,0.10639703414271083,0.0,0.0,0.1228514182318134,0.0,0.10953480251755528,0.0,0.0,0.20419140734681304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921481363123704,0.11469733339701513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169461499770938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012974744625738,0.207812481020802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813793941330389,0.0,0.0,0.13840327836916475,0.0,0.1041521185602311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274973125511782,0.0,0.07621059993755427,0.07687122350524124,0.07995797663073999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031395740646677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641472112678043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104921256370159,0.0,0.09437878714389326,0.0,0.11711946871540388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112395962955751,0.0,0.0,0.07981151008832536,0.0,0.0,0.22013800716336854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838013030255518,0.0,0.11339997126919488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794818747408608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887484540890103,0.066428614716273,0.10185688121542187,0.0,0.12090355924377193,0.11915532436562233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610466900476147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242749473795403,0.07547420441515917,0.0,0.0,0.07364537396105075,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eraserway,2019/03/03,"I don’t find enjoyment in anything and it makes every day drag. I have a lot of hobbies but right now i just don’t enjoy them. Most of the time i can’t even muster up the energy to do any of them. If i force myself to do something it just irritates me. I feel like i’m a waste of life because i don’t do anything, i basically just spend every day waiting until i can go back to sleep.

Does anyone have advice for breaking out of this?",2.2703495440729498,3.200882478723408,4.33437689969605,87.90500000000004,75.27659574468085,7.073556231003039,24.06686930091185,7.447530270364453,0.9296188449848026,339,10,76,4,7,117,61,94,0.094,0.77,0.136,0.5859,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,10,2,1,1,0,13,15,4,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,13,3,13,15,2,12,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,7,54,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23176648586733814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128840020777035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16583957747932165,0.0,0.39035269948954027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823743678491633,0.0,0.14458081449186067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059189113951239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075550714095573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665308136330408,0.0,0.3996634734249089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992374846863856,0.16943919855541353,0.0,0.0,0.2167753562653749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479307717521585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675250327253915,0.11587263515848285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201639287680988,0.0,0.0,0.1583173979834353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025477453741852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373481496273975,0.0,0.0,0.1825903368070431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829973633539733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SerenityHealthKY,2019/03/03,"For those who are wondering what Ketamine is and how it works. Here’s an brief explanation of the drug and why it’s very effective.

https://www.reddit.com/user/SerenityHealthKY/comments/awq570/what_is_ketamine_and_an_nmda_receptor_we_answered/",20.924444444444443,28.168300703703707,9.33481481481482,44.166666666666686,41.96296296296297,9.525925925925927,27.51851851851852,9.725611199111238,3.233874074074073,217,5,22,4,3,49,24,27,0.0,0.8759999999999999,0.124,0.5256,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,5,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,15,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5439105151659983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869879297116382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4232146567495372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5086286473590935,0.3414497725103781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,d_chs,2019/03/03,"Reddit, I gotta talk to someone... I just gotta vent. If nobody here has spare time, do you guys know somewhere where someone who’s on the verge of breaking point can talk?",0.97757142857143,3.329222114285717,1.6453571428571436,98.85089285714287,85.0,3.5,20.17857142857143,3.1291,-0.6391428571428572,134,4,29,0,4,41,30,35,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35069043132308403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946461489738585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33481128465649823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6001852200679705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5693473302023927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065231728840872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kipsauce,2019/03/03,"My sex drive makes me want to kill myself (I probably should be using a throw away for this, but... I don't know, I don't care enough I guess)

I hate my sex drive. I hate what it's been doing to me. It's like a cruel infection of the soul, and to think that I'll have to deal with this with the rest of my life has driven me to self-harm. I hate it when I have these thoughts. I can't stand them. I get so envious their bodies. I especially can't stand the gender and sex games people play. Whenever I see them out in public I am not only reminded what I can never have, but the disgust I have for my own body. I love the idea of being close to someone, but the sexual part just ruins it. I especially don't be or act in ways that are... ""expected"". I don't know. I just want it gone, I wish we were a genderless hermaphroditic species, but I'm stuck in this nightmare. It's been getting so intense that I almost made a deep cut. I'm scared, and it feels like there's no escape. I'm looking for some guidance.

(Yes, I am receiving therapy, any ideas on how I should bring this up to her? I'm embarrassed and disgusted that I have this problem in the first place.)

Thanks for listening.",1.2341278156102646,3.0020742008032144,3.2281578487864486,91.20073860660034,80.08433734939759,6.900715907106688,20.86624759909202,7.893859768569023,0.7228727431464992,912,25,210,16,23,308,136,249,0.184,0.706,0.111,-0.9663,0,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,1,0,3,2,7,19,9,2,11,1,25,8,2,4,1,39,56,13,1,7,8,0,1,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,19,9,0,0,7,2,0,8,9,13,0,1,8,4,37,6,24,43,5,25,1,1,2,4,11,11,0,4,5,141,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941274950500016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467711074448032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308055538393749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30929301045793645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419481716065376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353385578520067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385563406787136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039584991873142,0.09946167080473048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842388397854815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547761291292505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533709590626555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.412364701182427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31433395414029713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15403075517373166,0.0,0.15302776550581326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833804573287877,0.13603565162804462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169131159766672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565511763309534,0.13173713812388335,0.09293311733730958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737815045765464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588614418320863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076605107499705,0.0,0.09652040853588406,0.0,0.14545947310925106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010704580396886,0.13321858867545525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393875361888988,0.0,0.11094352200150727,0.0,0.14524102101510872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796406402182573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817877627205748,0.15921480532355722,0.0,0.0,0.08920913317552917,0.0,0.11052832384926284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024485595493307,0.0,0.0,0.16423587344827098,0.11050955017391056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010075707259858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crisfitzy,2019/03/03,"US has good Mental Health Care I've seen a lot of posts and comments saying the opposite, but can someone actually give me some cold hard facts on this?

I know we suck in terms of actual mental health, suicide rates, etc, and all sorts of other heath care, but what about things like therapy sessions and hospital stays covered by insurance, medical leave- anyone care to weigh in? ",10.758809523809523,8.550520500000005,9.524285714285714,68.33738095238097,58.28571428571429,13.333333333333332,39.04761904761904,11.855464076750405,4.523619047619047,305,11,53,7,3,95,59,70,0.149,0.665,0.18600000000000005,0.504,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,2,12,9,5,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,5,9,8,5,6,0,0,1,0,5,3,1,3,2,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.32042111566345144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479457626399568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5021603084483162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18309788311261485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749106964787055,0.0,0.13770171975686427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706803901263665,0.0,0.0,0.3490194764837484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022597127980736,0.0,0.0,0.1738370127622769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020733202404087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957522648897924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538846268698318,0.3308984153773797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572337185970992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055809344274874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910445881898836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498809456118414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958017601841622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774776466167087,0.0,0.1090701939633698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748162083212248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cwlo,2019/03/03,"Getting help is the best thing I've ever done I met my psychologist for the first time in August. Since then, I've seen her every two weeks. I seriously believe that she saved my life.

Not in *that* way, because although I had suicidal ideation, I wasn't actually committed to committing my life. I had just given up on life.

Thanks to her, I now have a job, I am starting to understand that my thoughts are distorted and I am working towards improving myself.

Life isn't as hard. I don't see myself as the alien I used to feel like. Talking to people can be really fun - something I never thought I would say just a year ago.

I am working on improving my idea of myself - I have BDD and it's slow progress but progress nonetheless.

I thought I didn't have a personality. For years, I had suppressed all that was *me* because I thought that *I* was the problem. Now, I've realised that I do have a personality hidden away somewhere deep inside of me. I am excited to find myself. I am excited about life again.

I love to be alive.",1.2611822660098504,3.8141632561576335,3.2132532019704456,86.48778128078821,86.38916256157637,6.4007093596059095,26.34660098522168,7.699297019823105,1.7944373990147784,803,37,160,16,25,269,113,203,0.055,0.746,0.199,0.9765,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,6,7,10,0,0,8,0,26,6,0,1,5,24,41,7,1,2,4,0,2,1,0,1,5,1,0,2,8,2,0,1,8,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,15,5,37,8,21,23,2,24,0,0,2,1,10,8,0,0,16,117,45,3,0.0,0.0,0.12695883080529127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532579835839506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223323066211138,0.0,0.0,0.15861550235714414,0.0,0.0,0.1465781460626723,0.1365319212696373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331374676116477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768289647082615,0.1096148594021474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578246800849137,0.09294346449878316,0.0,0.0,0.11890904112529055,0.1106629917566669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797187922614854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654404387932213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720328620569197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686706180895634,0.0,0.0,0.12910417316204933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4594673801728874,0.06356028737181971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742032755261705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034113879505993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901949574301372,0.22719659996018024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448812760690404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334539005900052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346074016588301,0.0,0.0,0.103672854227044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762006268357917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001573344983463,0.0,0.0,0.0920854481384135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230828162431938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456945021597956,0.0,0.1197785985852636,0.0,0.0,0.08643265767690643,0.0,0.0,0.41313946410421176,0.07586235501507209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708879368445147,0.13543868604231402,0.0,0.11236462659620912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326732268081754,0.1043583708087635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894286959171674,0.0,0.0,0.09241930576065777,0.0,0.0,0.16756026631011098
mentalhealth,aleksavlaisavljevic,2019/03/03,"I'm afraid of sports, help me. So few months ago I had a knee surgery. After I was done with rehab and everything my doctor advised me to start playing some sport but not push myself too hard. I used to play sports a lot before I had the injury but now I'm too afraid for some reason. I tried playing volleyball but as soon as I step into court I freeze, I don't have to be doing anything and I'll be scared shitless. One time we didn't even have the ball to play with and same thing happened. I have no idea what to do, if anyone could give me some advise I would be very grateful ",2.143170731707322,3.544394414634148,3.1175691056910573,94.61879268292685,76.39837398373984,5.5704065040650415,20.430081300813008,5.6839178017228535,-0.1876269918699185,455,10,103,2,10,145,82,123,0.096,0.764,0.14,0.5329999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,7,7,0,3,4,0,16,3,1,2,0,22,22,10,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,2,8,0,2,4,3,0,1,5,2,16,4,13,12,6,10,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,5,7,73,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20646258998947534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16285760821292816,0.0,0.1916668745922641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19819110610244675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18596141947292086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23839548040997874,0.0,0.23835002036853206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383629491695985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20932644459428032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22343058141321226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596346711676447,0.0,0.208643560154642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611612130071206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26292949536745336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980136021365518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859082759448332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782731757035556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23947250733138356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331857189968231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648564362322005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473649970487105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581296225184722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813207804414015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116133736320127,0.0,0.19217693688188608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545412651796002,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aili_V,2019/03/03,People close to you How can I get over the lack of understanding and acceptance about my mental illness to the people that are closest to me?,5.2066666666666634,6.833583185185188,5.8453703703703725,77.1991666666667,69.0,8.362962962962964,28.314814814814817,8.841846274778883,2.314792592592592,114,4,20,2,2,37,23,27,0.161,0.742,0.097,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,6,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,6,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521037688238912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4862801416419708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6690557611742652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5023342532905549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LaitheP,2019/03/03,"(25M, USA)I feel like I'll never get back to who I was, and what I could do. [Long post] TL;DR - I was hastily prescribed Lexapro by my doctor when I was going through a rough time after losing around 300lbs, and after a vaguely monitored back and forth on the medicine (now off for over a year) I feel as though my mental state has been permanently altered for the worse, and there's no coming back.


I've been overweight my whole life. Aside from that, I never had any health or mental issues, at least not diagnosed, until I was about 22-23. I had buckled down and lost about 300lbs, and I think this came with some natural mental changes with confidence and such that I wasnt used to. However, I began to worry when I started having mood swings. 

I was so sluggish and sad feeling at the gym one day, that I asked the owner (I knew him well) if I could take a nap in his office because I couldn't work out, and didnt feel safe driving home. So I slept, for quite a while, and woke up feeling physically, very warm, and I was enraged and irritable for seemingly no reason. This continued for a few days before I snapped at someone I had become good friends with at the gym, and I mean SNAPPED. I tore into her verbally, and after a very rough following day in which I apologized profusely to everyone involved, I was asked to not return the the gym.

Now, this was a huge deal for me. It was one of the first times I had ever done something for myself to really make a positive change. I went to the gym for hours every day, it was my life, my friends were there, I had even become a certified weight lifting coach and was on the road to it being my job as well. So naturally, I was destroyed.

I went to the doctor. I was convinced that those mood swings had caused all my problems and something had to be wrong. From what I remember (I'll get to my memory later) after a relatively short and succinct appointment, my doctor said he believed I was suffering from anxiety and depression. Being early 20s, and this being one of my first appointments without my parents, I accepted whatever diagnoses I was given without question, and started my prescribed Lexapro.

Now, I'll admit, I wasnt the best at taking it how I should, I don't recall the exact dosage I started on, but it was fairly small, I was told it's the general starting point for most people who take it. After a month, I had a follow up in which i said I had noticed my emotions leveling off, but not really getting better, which is what my doctor had said the goal was. So he increased my dosage.

Now starts a struggle for about a year. I battled with an off/on with the drug as I would feel as though it took hold of me and made me more sociable and confident, but it felt like a facade. I wasn't being me, I felt like a zombie that everyone really loved being around for some reason. So... I stopped taking it, and almost immediately I would come to realize what anxiety really was. I dont believe I had anxiety prior to taking lexapro, knowing what I know now, or at the very least, it wasn't as bad. I went into work the next day, and felt extremely paranoid that all of my coworkers were upset with me, everyone looked like they were in a bad mood, and didnt want to talk, and that effected my mood. So, naturally, i started taking it again, and boom! Everyone seemed pleasant again. But I still hated how it felt, so I talked to my doctor.

I was told at this point, that I could take the lexapro as needed. If I was feeling anxious or down, to take one, and of I felt good, just go without. And this was the real decline for me. I battled so much with taking it and then not taking it, I felt like that alone was actually making me crazy, I had no grasp of how my body or mind were actually feeling. I had my first panic attack, and many since. The lack of being in touch with my body, that I previously had become very good at when I was at my old gym, gave me out of control health anxiety. I was (not literally turned away) but brushed off at the ER because I had come in 3 times in 2 weeks thinking I was having a heart attack. 

I've had a very, very rough battle with trying to figure out who I am (I hadn't really had my moment of young adult, self discovery yet. That didnt help) My mind became a constant battle everyday, working myself up about something I would have brushed off before, and then calming myself down, because deep within, I did truly know it was nothing. I've been completely off lexapro for a year now, and I've seen no change, other than adapting to it so that calming myself has generally become easier.

I did engage in moderate use of cannabis during this time off of lexapro. That was probably, ultimately a mistake, but it's hard to say. As much as it made some of my paranoia worse at first, it did seem to help me self reflect and recognize when I was overreacting, but it was still self medicating for something that I just struggled with medicating through a professional.

And here I am now, after feeling I had figured some things out and learned to cope, I'm noticing just how different I've become. My memories are much foggier, where I used to pride myself in a pretty sharp memory. I notice that I panic over things I've felt before and definitely know that cause of, but my brain will just wander to something worse. I seem to bounce between several days of feeling hyper motivated and dreaming of the future, to then spend several days feeling like I'm going nowhere and being terrified of failure or what's coming next. I cry like 20x more than I used to. I've always questioned things, but I notice myself becoming tin-foil hat types of paranoid about random things. The other day I didnt want to go outside to grab something I needed out of my car because I had a call from a random number that insisted I had called them several times, and I had a feeling like they could be after me or something. I dont live in a constant state of fear, but I feel like my whole worldview has decreased into a small sharp bubble, without everything outside of it being fuzzy. I used to love driving around and exploring and doing new things, and now my girlfriend reminds me of very basic things I'm able to do as an adult who can make his own decisions and go where he wants. And bless her soul. We got together shortly before i completely stopped the lexapro, and now I worry so much that she could leave me because I'm very much not the person i was when we started dating, and I feel like more of a burden than anything. 

Also as a side note, I've never had suicidal thoughts, or wanted to harm myself, but I worry that that's the type of thing this path will lead to with how powerless and hopeless I can feel.

I'm not even sure what I want out of posting this, maybe it's a cry for help, I honestly don't know. I'm worried that my doctor's haste at prescribing me pills has permanently changed me for the worse, and taken away who I used to be. I've gained a good deal of my weight back, and I know people will suggest I start working out again, and I am going to, I know that will help, I just worry there's no coming back all the way.",7.627186121973537,6.071183455445546,7.899762459439219,75.46178529827777,63.809052333804814,10.835327398286047,35.07983193277311,9.66470028072493,3.140277177801813,5602,202,1095,89,68,1843,478,1414,0.135,0.743,0.122,-0.9091,5,1,8,0,0,1,172.0,2,0,3,20,68,66,9,6,65,0,119,26,5,24,9,240,242,109,1,22,36,1,33,10,3,8,17,5,1,6,79,83,3,5,55,8,1,24,33,28,3,8,103,42,171,34,179,114,25,189,2,6,2,2,57,68,0,23,102,795,250,18,0.03063960683013193,0.0,0.059799672899575385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030681140358340308,0.03173339225407397,0.0,0.024502482512271457,0.02549460737039767,0.0,0.0,0.020835983321377264,0.0,0.09375686144303642,0.03461403450070094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025213785757504253,0.08182723815807535,0.0572877926865616,0.06971395209306759,0.05757383842217905,0.117799831911558,0.05116558377185576,0.09338809968549797,0.20303423107337173,0.10428819479506607,0.06904068927837569,0.03215437705470196,0.027098242340013092,0.0,0.06806739196670973,0.0,0.03420393434879262,0.06257292857395197,0.03504354772927632,0.0,0.06295063256536998,0.12965056543758788,0.13196654133980218,0.06425008963695766,0.06622106012726059,0.034364924398643165,0.1223161644318076,0.0,0.06731233875560444,0.15808009323203906,0.06317617852248975,0.026389848466136942,0.06219711194785388,0.0,0.03201186782959972,0.0,0.18816561541168186,0.0,0.031354955631501175,0.07181878202606028,0.0,0.03553221649158464,0.0,0.0,0.03446543370556425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040474342684575886,0.027715278528449943,0.025815190229792857,0.11710982943078276,0.027536902965669217,0.0,0.0,0.03447807600165074,0.2323845874573825,0.10944470620764588,0.20593179242237825,0.0,0.0,0.10424813566983927,0.0,0.0,0.04734416846425797,0.0,0.048023789896823633,0.0,0.10447916790948278,0.10279619409125904,0.024505292563408044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027447069487689244,0.030250268407360486,0.0,0.06513693857564287,0.0,0.03630808161766145,0.08214833041217799,0.0,0.03073402385146254,0.0,0.030173840848885605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03197978911089175,0.030405082010013774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178710863322818,0.0,0.0,0.032442919623131485,0.0,0.0,0.04328332084989301,0.1496896423088129,0.0,0.027055334174625748,0.027115087872468496,0.025729552955143408,0.03427788273501749,0.0334467502658422,0.0,0.05530688282862522,0.057983873634741924,0.06135652643867784,0.031063752249301538,0.03078160330393284,0.033375514146546534,0.0,0.06173236086246695,0.09263255151701064,0.0,0.06187453705669964,0.0,0.02445624185291116,0.0,0.11261818229246585,0.04543776046298876,0.07089346097773057,0.029591923204016355,0.06517113892521237,0.0,0.0,0.029399529108277495,0.1395335818162077,0.03215111323158707,0.0,0.08304876218941894,0.0,0.0,0.07189795388614993,0.03402165743185729,0.0,0.0,0.04248329097946089,0.026753322859342645,0.0,0.0,0.057928664101233075,0.0,0.058688547547323236,0.031171495283734058,0.033034678373674915,0.029317965767148527,0.0,0.0,0.06864674370637022,0.03258899336759798,0.0,0.03487458043628928,0.09814258353677344,0.06300523768137417,0.0,0.0,0.034708701704149865,0.0,0.08743584748445966,0.02436584513509048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157258925999107,0.09589137652134276,0.10384210350210284,0.0,0.025345399390845742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025960839437888492,0.16511506377512228,0.0,0.0,0.17349497132446615,0.0,0.04893765918667399,0.05123216652153121,0.0,0.06406233926144347,0.0,0.033514756862743106,0.0,0.02887746683254688,0.0,0.2303717119014099,0.049253910724762234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248915325129138,0.03926524576729788,0.060206516289647474,0.02432442534583036,0.08933100569920542,0.0,0.0,0.058554914715391385,0.03404173056561772,0.02080228180104532,0.033327093846596816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877669650820836,0.0,0.20224707579256834,0.09036016976625748,0.02432029374545256,0.024577244446538197,0.0746215735219239,0.055097372418284316,0.08520966748985273,0.0,0.06841605364480229,0.0,0.1181419504293108,0.0,0.08922399475316871,0.15558004008953769,0.1248975078989888,0.06529649279657876,0.03349960018268866,0.0,0.059192706718905766
mentalhealth,mgd206,2019/03/03,"mental health // long post before i begin, let me just say i am in no way referring to myself as being a sociopath/psychopath, i haven’t been diagnosed. there are many things that have led up to this post, and i don’t feel comfortable disclosing this information with family or friends so i decided to ask the internet. i’m a 19 year old female. i have two loving parents, i had a picture perfect childhood from the outside looking in. growing up, my parents realized i wasn’t normal. i was malicious, violent, hurtful, deceitful, had no empathy whatsoever. i was never satisfied. i remember never feeling happy growing up and wondering why i didn’t feel anything. as i got older, symptoms just worsened. when i was 11, i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.  at 16, i was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. i have been to at least 10 different psychiatrists in my area, and i see no improvement whatsoever. half the reason of that is because i don’t want to get better so i don’t listen to them or take any of my prescribed meds, and the other half is because i go in and i lie my way out of everything. i play them because it’s easy, i can walk in and be anyone i want to be. i make it seem as if i am warm and friendly, when really i am just doing and saying whatever the fuck i can to leave. i have extreme social anxiety which has made me drop out of college, not get a job, only go out at night, and isolate myself from everyone at all times. my anxiety makes me physically sick. i cant stand being around people. i get annoyed very quickly and snap on people. so i’d rather be alone. i do have depression, but i don’t really feel “sad” it’s more of i feel completely and utterly numb 99% of the time. the only emotion i truly feel is anger. i hate everything about the world i live in, which is terrible, i know. i have self harmed, i have attempted suicide twice, been on bunches of medications, nothing helps. and the sick part is, i don’t want to get better. there’s some part of me that loves this darkness about myself. it’s honestly all i know. i don’t want to be this way. i try to fake emotions, i try to fit in, i try to care, i try to feel, but i just simply cannot. i feel i am going to go down a very dark path if i don’t get help. i want to have a life, i am not proud of who i am. no one knows me, it’s lonely but i don’t want it any other way... it’s confusing. ive learned how to mask my true self, i mimic others emotions in certain situations, i force myself to ask my friends how they are even though i could care less. i use people constantly to better myself. i manipulate my family members on a daily basis, making them feel guilty so i get what i want at the end of the day. i do this because it works. time and time again it works, and i love it. i love the way it makes me feel. to have a power over someone like that. there are very few people i care about. but i still don’t care for them nearly as much as the normal person would. there’s no one on this earth i would do absolutely anything for. i’m incapable of love. i attract men because of my attitude and confidence, but it’s a game to me. their emotions are my playing field. i will string them along, tell them i’m in love with them, make no efforts to see them, etc. i like having someone hurt over me, because again, i like the power it gives me. i don’t give a damn about my safety, i use many different drugs, nothing crazy but i like to take my mind off shit. i don’t think i’ve planned ahead anything in my entire life, plans cause me to have extreme anxiety so it’s either i do it when i want to or not at all. i don’t think about how my actions will effect myself or other people. i don’t think about what i say before i say it. i get myself in trouble quite frequently. i don’t have any regard for right/wrong. i do what i want always, even if i hurt myself or others in the process. i am not saying anything of this for attention, or because i am proud. i’m not, i’m ashamed. no one wants to have these problems. but it’s my life and i have to do what i have to, to stay alive. my question is, if you have any experience or advice on what i should do to be able to function in day-to-day life, please help me. i don’t want to be on medication or really go to therapy because i find it useless, but if it has helped anyone else in any way, let me know. it’s very lonely going through life not caring about one fucking thing, having anyone or being able to feel any amount of joy. maybe nothing can ever help or fix me, i don’t know. i don’t know how much longer i can live this way. ",2.136881666157503,3.637093406086045,4.146372946192572,86.82118971402771,76.63903462749214,7.301706801971124,24.76003825361617,8.066034848284158,1.3720767170959127,3548,121,762,59,79,1214,339,953,0.154,0.6829999999999999,0.16399999999999998,0.9257,7,5,1,0,0,3,128.0,0,1,10,17,37,59,8,2,25,0,99,26,1,17,9,139,184,58,1,24,35,2,12,4,3,5,17,6,0,4,48,26,0,0,33,3,0,11,37,25,0,8,14,21,147,34,111,153,16,90,0,9,3,8,47,41,4,20,30,536,195,5,0.08309730040558494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04060086011216204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04303187119280818,0.0,0.0,0.03457180536169518,0.0,0.0,0.16952704141094113,0.0,0.12713841472591855,0.0,0.0,0.08715534682808357,0.04257150212508135,0.13676399576987444,0.036987107505863794,0.07768475856822185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202621372183949,0.0,0.07070968223978064,0.0,0.0,0.1102392140673748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21180808977062968,0.042681908860705366,0.0,0.0,0.04356296924147771,0.044899330440817384,0.0,0.03317321634249271,0.0,0.0,0.08038632644018978,0.0,0.07157158307566322,0.12651301609085516,0.0,0.08681899256501242,0.04761835273864287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048183243411821126,0.0,0.03470856583808584,0.18694655673084645,0.03679977178693355,0.0,0.04633772786578632,0.054884983208583635,0.03758313281354117,0.0,0.0397015157970561,0.07468249545967834,0.04064255245923309,0.07833673935203822,0.0,0.23109070533766135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0379747135680884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630115224238316,0.07682211521290361,0.1519521841156355,0.07971450245709402,0.14167833239559974,0.0,0.033230251108602366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044229310734883766,0.0,0.04102069023163744,0.0,0.04416427226309338,0.0,0.0,0.13924592211486878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343606811513695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041230624264372816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700430936228286,0.0,0.0,0.043994021413263584,0.0,0.0849726196790628,0.14673520188898706,0.08119428714279245,0.0,0.07337643867124921,0.036769247969698014,0.03489040187539755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249956738537709,0.039314337426216234,0.13867023320460126,0.08424761997423319,0.04174120364685891,0.0,0.04615118390259401,0.083711787879236,0.04187126705759425,0.0,0.04195229251604375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06108607709603344,0.0,0.06408976085886156,0.0,0.0,0.038990593632566864,0.08141771117002576,0.11960115132861615,0.0,0.04359831915257745,0.0,0.11261776265972424,0.06319924146621403,0.0,0.0,0.0922697181979072,0.08998627856643862,0.0,0.14402301293837036,0.03627867875093138,0.0,0.045607941097177265,0.0,0.0,0.07958424357311465,0.0,0.0,0.03975644697629604,0.0,0.0,0.046543997082426666,0.044192103815113536,0.0,0.0,0.07985138770170401,0.04271893232639015,0.0,0.0,0.04706652125446285,0.03548232025521696,0.0,0.16520577140984935,0.0,0.0,0.06621778977949955,0.037824330686452606,0.08668860717084212,0.0,0.042649092363019565,0.0,0.046702423648141034,0.0,0.042353616536848215,0.0704080729727199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04428533289236036,0.033180805722529495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04544747970304668,0.0,0.0,0.043184956254730684,0.062478828318365515,0.0,0.036315351608128606,0.0,0.04751450250766341,0.0,0.055206154000531436,0.07986809216695384,0.040821337870224204,0.0,0.09690940823456942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283522465067168,0.0,0.04058699399312925,0.0,0.0,0.07176938725256789,0.0,0.13712795097584635,0.2695711741581582,0.2308556922034868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749119432888663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04505773879817165,0.060495824379337086,0.0,0.0,0.0590299380301051,0.04542692658037415,0.0,0.02675596850459225
mentalhealth,canijustdieyet,2019/03/03,"I think I’m god, I know I sound delusional but hear me out It all started when I wished for a new better psychiatrist and then got an even better one than I had. I was in geology lecture a few weeks ago and I thought to myself “I want to get out of here” and then an outlet exploded and we all got to leave. Then a few days later I went into the library to my normal spot where no one usually sits but that time there were people there so I sat down and wished them to leave and immediately they did. A week later my roommate got stuck in the snow and called me to ask me to pick her up (I didn’t want to) but I agreed so I was getting my car out from the snow and I wished that I didn’t have to pick her up and right then she called me and said the bus was working again so she was on her way home. Then another day it was my turn to take out the trash but I really didn’t want to and when I thought that my roommate came out of her room and said “I’ll get it” and room out the trash. Then another day I wished for more money and my mom gave me a hundred dollars. Just yesterday I wished sorting and packing my stuff to move would be stress-free and it was. And finally today I wished my cat would actually cuddle with me on his own volition and he did, and I that last one CANNOT be coincidence therefore I must have powers like god or be god or a god. I don’t know what else I can control or why I only just now have these powers. It’s in my blood I can feel it but I want it out it’s draining me of energy and spirit.",1.6949768303985169,2.780385457831329,3.5713253012048227,92.20133920296577,76.95180722891567,6.914921223354959,21.504170528266915,7.468242284971852,0.4502563484708064,1180,29,286,15,26,399,154,332,0.025,0.868,0.107,0.9709,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,2,6,14,3,0,0,14,0,26,2,1,4,3,68,61,39,0,14,10,1,1,1,0,3,0,4,3,0,15,31,0,1,6,0,2,4,6,0,0,3,25,5,54,3,36,30,6,52,1,0,0,1,19,20,0,4,27,203,69,2,0.0,0.0,0.08711162923224436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791297314553592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18720828117313715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834525125986244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578986589798211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18230299563891147,0.1020975663830714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012043235875184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270932017162152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457105051924326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05895995349805019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04513603289184393,0.0,0.0,0.09778753879424402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399148315357761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141847127086644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061029757685956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954199114298399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811752063807222,0.07276444759867738,0.0,0.1890415414256757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043611304170880105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045483284834694,0.0,0.09487660033665887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621453989376672,0.0,0.0,0.08746262062719648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18146870950759494,0.06789150911824032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618864370476285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057186669654915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623345512560296,0.1698265505111684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631835797875371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225494612640833,0.0,0.1021892573502214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711760844061583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057198632787472864,0.0,0.14173591387844714,0.052052254268888785,0.0,0.08461459489627862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709676664714896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983148920642612,0.0,0.2106077501596975,0.0708559197349114,0.1432090646631128,0.0,0.0,0.0827513217766735,0.08054950352510318,0.0,0.6159152602530134,0.0,0.0,0.06498737512001455,0.0,0.0,0.1268253062234141,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TrueWarriorRBX,2019/03/03,"Do I have depression? Depression is something that certainly isnt as foreign a concept to me as others. I've had friends, and even a mother who have had depression and have been on medication at one point. I never thought that I'd be considering my own possible affliction with it though.

I'm in college, and so as a student I'm pretty busy, whether that be studying, listening to lectures, or taking part in recreational activities. On the weekends, or when I'm left to myself, are when I start to feel some symptoms. During the day I'm relatively happy. I talk to people, make friends, and enjoy myself when I'm around people I like. 

When I'm alone, whether that be when my roommate is out in class or when I'm in my room at my families house, is when I start to feel down. It just takes one thing to set me off, like when my dad got irritated with me for something that would be seen by anyone else as a small non important instance. As a result, I went up to my room and cried (something that I dont do often)

While crying, all of a sudden I get slapped with a whirlwind of things that arent related. I remember my negativity towards my body, any rejection that's happened in my life dating back to middle school, any bad thing I've done, and bad thing my parents have done to me, and even the bad things my siblings have done to me along with stress about grades and really anything under the sun.

It seems like during the day I can ignore this disaster because I'm preoccupied, even though sometimes I do have aching feelings in my stomach that will worsen if I humor my feelings. When I'm alone however, I come to three conclusions that creep up on me.
1. I'm a horrible person and I'll never find love
2. I have no friends
3. It would be so much easier to not be alive
(Let it be known that I have not considered suicide, however I find myself wishing that I was nothing. I've seen the effects of suicide on others and wouldn't wish them on anyone)

Here are a few symptoms of when I'm feeling like this:
1. I get chills and goosebumps
2. In the middle of my torso I get an empty feeling
3. Light crying, sometimes heightened anger
4. Irrational thinking, looking at all the negatives
5. Wishing away existence wondering why my body still desires to breathe

There are probably more but it's more of a in the moment thing. Anyways, I'd love to hear your experiences and opinions, and if I share any symptoms with you guys.

I'm probably not going to try medication or therapy because I'm not on my own health insurance yet, and I dont need anyone close to me dealing with my dumb brain chemicals.



",5.709486004769674,5.945592550583662,6.5332609514246265,77.75428329358604,67.07392996108949,9.667277519769046,33.89582025856659,9.536714749202195,3.098314999372412,2057,89,395,39,31,682,236,514,0.125,0.7979999999999999,0.077,-0.9734,4,2,3,0,0,2,57.0,0,2,1,2,27,25,2,1,20,0,41,15,6,3,5,74,88,43,2,10,14,3,6,4,3,4,7,2,2,2,29,25,0,1,16,1,0,3,14,11,0,3,12,12,52,14,64,64,10,62,0,4,3,2,19,34,1,11,28,277,81,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316897267188194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100602464019965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498488123290929,0.07081865202930526,0.05687749634783181,0.061528885880797836,0.0,0.0,0.06493780458203363,0.05314679496180541,0.17312971158559173,0.08426630336084256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535470664828947,0.0,0.07715755855607369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953827438116185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277657154635992,0.08914964230226917,0.07125671047064848,0.1785914091824716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21219241627208102,0.16200948765407874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057738480528632175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695360746477958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760980084133482,0.0651574645989988,0.0,0.20968613997944885,0.04937728064705401,0.0,0.0,0.12634358159077294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601991344030229,0.0,0.10833251938982123,0.0,0.039280849164214815,0.0,0.05527927070067062,0.0,0.0,0.06843681026213158,0.06112003638417634,0.0735764539674148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346826100563704,0.07790001169585703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975187067598134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509594750016471,0.07067693274469518,0.04881946224257725,0.1350685242686142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058040968869657365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476178929849313,0.0,0.046136210854319265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925644341024765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080903211952425,0.051249464868997736,0.10661475978859254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631973578130163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367109155186593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674637656313565,0.07484709995062888,0.0,0.09583420953789132,0.06035039870090679,0.0,0.0,0.06533801414315646,0.07791916193704013,0.0,0.07031695383662742,0.14903987974049288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427819360698927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829621752965887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995021019779844,0.0,0.06292162548680895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596291952658099,0.13671718778006833,0.0,0.0978428992454808,0.0,0.05519701718796954,0.0,0.07917342151901703,0.0,0.0,0.15120581093156935,0.0,0.0,0.21551744034674689,0.10393493724691012,0.055553718793107436,0.0,0.0,0.07904144442799216,0.0,0.27551003945452657,0.044287456358304216,0.13581442879361802,0.0548712687208745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04692598400513413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640722579050711,0.06236744565741375,0.0,0.2384438130734739,0.0,0.07495456269782606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981976306211318,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WoodenWoofer,2019/03/03,"I can't do anything anymore. Want to apologize for terrible writing  


I am a high school student. I've been struggling with severe dissociation for years. It's not even in episodes. It never stops. I feel like I've been trapped in limbo and I will be this way up until the end of my life. I think it has gotten worse recently because I am more self-aware and am now at the stage where I want to do things with my life, but cannot.

I can't process anything anymore. There's this dull ache on my forehead that prevents me from processing anything. It's so normal to be dissociated for me now that I forget that there's something wrong with my state of mind. I have trouble speaking simple sentences because my thoughts are so fragmented.

I have completed isolated myself from everyone around me because I can't seem to have one decent interaction with someone where I can connect with them on some level.

I have vague, dream-like memories. When my normal processing should occur, I'm fantasizing about the act of doing it instead of actually doing it in reality and it's always like that. I feel like I have no past emotional memories of anything that happened anymore. I can have a general and semantic-like memory of what happened, but it's not precise.

I'm out of my body most of the time. It feels like I have this wide ""U"" vision where I have this big, blurry picture of the environment, but I can't see any details. If I just let go and relax, I can ""shrink"" my field of view, but it still feels strange. It feels like I'm trapped behind my vision. That's always happened to me several years before, but it has gotten so much worse.

I can't feel any motivation or drive to do anything ""in real life"", I just know I should/have to do it. I have plans, but sometimes I wonder if they're just fantasies and not actual planning about real life.

Sometimes, I feel like collapsing and just falling to the floor. The thought can happen in public. I have tried however, and it doesn't work. It's like my mind loses contact with my body and I am physically unable to collapse or even lower my limbs when this occurs. I think this is also why I can't seem to speak.

I have vague imaginations of speech, but I'm not actually thinking about speaking itself.

I get mad at people for just being there. I have to restrain myself from mindlessly yelling at them or smashing things. It is the only thing I can do spontaneously because it requires zero thought. It does feel satisfying to do simply because it is the one of the only thing I can do naturally. However, the anger I feel dissipates within seconds and I wonder what I'm doing. I'm not actually mad at people; I think I am frustrated. I feel bad for behaving badly/weirdly in front of my family. My theory of mind seems to disappear completely sometimes. I wish I could explain to them better. Maybe I should use this post.

I have concentrate really hard and constantly focus my attention on the very action I am supposed to do at all times. My thought never flows. This is why speaking is hard. Whenever I speak, my attention is focused on manually control my lips which is a bit difficult to do because the more I am ""not relaxed"" the more I lose contact with my body. Between this and the fantasy that is going on in my head, it makes it difficult to have meaningful conversation. Normally, I can only say what I fantasize about before hand. If someone asks me a question, I just start fantasizing about an entire conversation. However, it doesn't reflect real life which requires actual thinking. It's difficult to communicate my actual thoughts and sometimes I wish I could just throw my thoughts into other people's mind instead of answering with a few vague sentences.  


I think I have been this way ever since I was 12 or 13. Funny thing actually because I think it developed around the same time my scoliosis did. I was going numb in various places, and I thought it was the scoliosis and I would eventually get paralyzed. I got so worked up about it. It turns out it was the dissociation! I think this is also why I had a horrible stuttering disorder and why I barely have any solid memories from around that time.  


I'm actually really tired of living my life in this parallel universe and just being vacant in real life. All the imaginary speech in my head when I start fantasizing have different voices and it's crazy in a light-hearted kind of way. Sometimes I think ""Do any of my words actually make sense to someone else?"" I've pretty much given up control. My entire existence is just fantasy that I don't enjoy and putting up a social act. It actually looks really weird because I am completely stiff and move unnaturally :I. Real life would be fun.  


Anybody have any detailed plans on how to resolve this? Also, please ask questions because I am sure my writing is strange. I think I have some subconscious thoughts that I didn't add. Maybe some of you can translate my writing into something more comprehensible :D. My parents aren't well-versed in English.",4.852674248298438,6.5886431278826025,5.994552999626661,75.36104548979065,70.02725366876311,9.084839608282355,31.93641767898682,9.54233891841381,3.2136055139140174,4000,180,703,92,73,1333,352,954,0.166,0.764,0.07,-0.9982,6,2,2,0,1,0,108.0,0,1,3,14,43,33,4,1,28,0,97,19,8,7,7,162,166,46,0,16,29,1,13,7,0,5,11,10,0,0,65,36,0,8,45,5,0,14,21,18,0,4,22,26,116,15,101,131,16,88,0,3,3,0,27,45,0,18,30,503,181,7,0.0,0.0,0.3847633724997837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459240175314218,0.06561501517819641,0.0,0.0,0.13406299438369146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730684904881028,0.0,0.0,0.1622306740345604,0.10529864994050032,0.07372028390244388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032920987044595035,0.2163161542506296,0.0,0.06710116560110638,0.0,0.0,0.034871130914275954,0.04304549629148373,0.13138787231006016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401948024186317,0.042607989625402534,0.0884443915238602,0.06296058510829018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0411941859508786,0.04518825246494963,0.0,0.034503974665061644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032937288788550595,0.044351535265052526,0.03492177453696348,0.0,0.0,0.05208404606888727,0.035665158417456704,0.0,0.037675434278991136,0.0,0.0,0.03716949612421376,0.0,0.19936135266654795,0.14083794181757422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04119932315115635,0.0,0.06722404162366115,0.0,0.031534416673565775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394652765864898,0.0,0.07064003202194245,0.0,0.0809296302495898,0.0,0.0,0.04672273025863998,0.0,0.041658168099485936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04105851138219832,0.021668764822072625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0403181123435799,0.2227950180418233,0.13483874465274506,0.0,0.034815914925218835,0.0,0.03310984521456487,0.08822037395038049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052637398372983306,0.0,0.0792220620876057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924538978518485,0.0,0.0,0.04190604749168742,0.057968680459390624,0.0,0.060819077677969735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589409993860897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343527861029528,0.08996100604245677,0.0,0.0,0.04378046573430902,0.0,0.03763877771759452,0.08200386483516907,0.0,0.0411941859508786,0.04328043786011351,0.0,0.0,0.037761416386580836,0.0401127600526249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0396363358422842,0.08833744848052122,0.0,0.0,0.2243902103898786,0.07577634377538976,0.0,0.03893069368290936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03135496999700622,0.0,0.039903548777356176,0.031419253608480316,0.10768214182617744,0.04113232022295382,0.08908552173975606,0.0,0.032615500634435794,0.0,0.0,0.04019219075836744,0.10022242247199606,0.06070766965595991,0.19497800492158576,0.0,0.0558151132286786,0.0,0.0314874946264855,0.032963827752701354,0.0,0.041219024301106695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03716071004736308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097206649960666,0.25264065254720924,0.0,0.2504133544917063,0.0919638448975335,0.04531703548355158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026769230376569184,0.04288667279357118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03405339542323073,0.0,0.032532480190506405,0.04651167068061349,0.09388905779535292,0.0,0.0,0.03545078058058435,0.0,0.1423116472629583,0.0,0.0906812078546656,0.0,0.0855166279054938,0.0574085500213095,0.0,0.08036162076795328,0.05601747203090554,0.04310866103007457,0.0,0.05078107033083455
mentalhealth,coulomb_repulsion,2019/03/03,"Why is it so hard for me to do ""fun"" things? I'm a student in college. I feel motivated to go to classes and get my work done, but it feels like a chore to do ""fun"" things. I go to parties and see friends, but it always feels like a chore to just leave my apartment on the weekends. I do have fun for a bit, but eventually I just feel unmotivated to do anything and just want to go home. I just don't understand why it's so hard to do things that I want to do that are traditionally ""fun"" vs work and other things like that.",4.76681547619048,3.66612966964286,6.1239285714285705,84.40440476190479,69.26785714285714,9.252380952380953,30.273809523809533,8.344100000000001,1.7541023809523812,401,13,98,5,6,137,55,112,0.067,0.711,0.222,0.9621,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,6,8,0,0,5,0,11,0,0,1,0,20,24,9,0,2,8,0,6,3,1,0,0,0,3,0,12,4,0,0,6,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,7,9,8,14,23,1,7,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,64,21,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762888175511362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611290765150513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057767732283986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926510843447426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345317221452241,0.2363284487662269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277902591064673,0.0,0.08641645146255184,0.0,0.2820076974941578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29633792167607304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591309970214302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513832175298055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424232440450035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180509759761136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395466861856229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219077612356035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195118425468629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985016892907392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408312951283389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cgrunch,2019/03/03,"Loss of Concentration/Focus | March 3, 2019 Around April 2018, I woke up and went to the gym, and I felt kind of off. You know that unique tingle/stress/feeling you get in your brain when you focus/concentrate? Yeah, that was gone. I thought it would eventually go away, as I had stayed up late the night before. Well, the ""focus feeling"" (I don't know any other way to describe it) never returned. I'm almost at my 1 year anniversary (yay?). I've brought it up and worked through it with my therapist, my doctor, and my family, but I haven't gotten anywhere. 

I'm not asking for professional help, just inquiring whether this is something that has happened to other people. If so, how did you/they work through it or fix it (if they did)? 

Your input is appreciated, thank you! :)",2.92109300095877,5.175359637583898,3.845278044103548,86.44994966442955,76.78523489932886,6.673250239693192,24.065675934803448,7.7094869923839395,1.2026065196548412,602,20,119,9,14,193,104,149,0.011,0.85,0.139,0.9573,0,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,6,1,3,6,5,0,0,3,2,10,2,1,1,1,23,27,13,0,3,7,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,6,1,0,4,4,1,1,0,11,2,17,4,18,15,0,22,0,1,0,0,9,8,0,4,8,76,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18784196158579375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756605305227672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16699280347514284,0.1753691555704962,0.0,0.17624479760097614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15962329668771058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209409886561872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19200393623526754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684096705080946,0.0,0.1896999317951102,0.0,0.18011358764795535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800681886487916,0.0,0.10661039982951492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588316330105465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257360657507856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534369888228356,0.20618656293463225,0.0,0.21160707046102625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467918095752733,0.0,0.0,0.17603832737745556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004967577798462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441415850089254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999435044049548,0.0,0.0,0.21488105027277987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270552983209275,0.0,0.21780375137866556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892366183403308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889836655783434,0.0,0.0,0.16866385004591458,0.17389565598959394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273132126107558,0.0,0.0,0.13325690362578932,0.0,0.0,0.1208003137192098
mentalhealth,YAHYAH74,2019/03/03,Need help I want to kill myself. I'm in the UK and there is no way to get help. I'm in debt. What can I do? ,-4.809285714285714,-3.647973357142857,-0.6385714285714261,112.1085714285715,104.0,2.8000000000000003,7.0,3.1291,-2.857814285714286,78,0,27,0,4,29,21,28,0.276,0.528,0.196,-0.5719,1,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,8,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379286254721129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6104924053825428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5038345780508949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376746373427647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26860775923061103,0.3614767227471325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yaybutntreally,2019/03/03,"I think I have depression or a similar illness As the title says, I think I have depression but I’m not so sure, but it’s kind of stupid coming on Reddit out of all places to seek advice.

I used to self harm and I am pretty sure I still will continue to in the future. However, I only do so every month or so when I feel particularly sad. I sometimes feel hopeless and that I’ll never live up to my parents expectations, and I also feel lonely suddenly even in the company of my friends. I have also had suicidal thoughts with no intention of actually following through and sometimes wonder what would happen if I was to die (self inflicted or otherwise). I also sometimes have trust issues.

After doing some googling, it sounds like I have mild depression and I wanted to follow up on this throwaway account on Reddit. Maybe I’ll also check in with my doctor? All in all, I think I have mild depression and I want to see if what I have really lines up with the symptoms.",4.418819548872179,5.8170038894736855,5.974436090225566,76.40105263157895,70.63157894736842,9.218045112781953,29.360902255639097,9.606745405546679,2.8657218045112782,769,30,140,18,14,262,107,190,0.267,0.654,0.079,-0.9925,2,2,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,0,10,15,1,0,5,0,14,3,0,2,6,40,31,22,2,6,8,1,3,1,1,2,3,2,0,2,6,11,0,0,8,0,2,3,3,9,0,0,3,6,23,6,28,26,4,23,0,7,1,0,5,12,0,7,9,106,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.11620713931219237,0.0,0.0,0.11636583768327415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809202640395453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025788504213138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4102616149465657,0.0,0.12358861858341913,0.0,0.0,0.12188577196529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865273087387277,0.0,0.10033196711434143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806347548022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920026835194444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053040776737966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429097445482246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240058823984094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058177592866050565,0.0,0.105151845658038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963416821359114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950503494835704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184360489727816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905674492344134,0.0,0.0,0.13222679299450146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441564992387105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114950197434785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628716562827413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469901833168287,0.0,0.0,0.09489316920798714,0.0,0.24845760319273585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35332629559091594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509927233663508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025669977504836,0.0,0.22446730214250507,0.12377209734017353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22890937343439496,0.0,0.09453803834676172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284886631205452,0.0,0.0,0.1404756424528924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913966612724065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459264370617736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Newfiestoner,2019/03/03,"I just... I just had severe thoughts of ending it all...

​

I'm drunk and high...

​

And the only thoughts to have stopped me was how cold it was, and how much I hate pain

​

What life is that?",0.6857142857142868,3.211852809523812,0.6257142857142881,103.04428571428572,92.33333333333331,2.8000000000000003,21.285714285714285,3.1291,-0.6545999999999994,166,6,36,0,6,48,30,42,0.29600000000000004,0.7040000000000001,0.0,-0.9169,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,5,3,0,2,1,11,9,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,1,4,0,2,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4728062530536532,0.5302367976133531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288313075988672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360820473963867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536828050576164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027402454536646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692728251050623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062624198446644,0.15477599832724484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643244709931919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160816823180855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23095246681435075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5302367976133531,0.0
mentalhealth,Lazy_Spiral,2019/03/03,"I've ""killed"" myself, the person I was I don't know if this will last, but as of this past thursday I've really thought of ""killing"" myself as in the person I was. Him dying and being someone different someone better. 

I hit a super low point for a while and then lost someone dear to me and well I hit a breaking point. I'm engaging in a little bit of risky behavior, but it is things I enjoy and are no real harm, just some money better spent paying off debts. Anyone else ever go through a mental sort of killing, like actually visualizing that you left another you behind? My mindscape is odd and this may not even make sense.",4.128364444444443,5.306082992000004,5.497066666666669,80.3889777777778,71.08,7.795555555555558,26.68888888888889,8.167268648758528,1.7319422222222218,494,16,94,7,9,166,88,125,0.16399999999999998,0.639,0.197,0.7065,2,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,2,0,4,4,14,3,0,7,0,9,0,0,1,1,18,18,12,4,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,2,0,4,1,3,6,1,0,5,0,13,8,13,8,2,16,0,2,0,0,5,8,0,4,7,65,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.14234768544883966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295699183173847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199541437477108,0.14946064095306855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25801961046245137,0.15925182083418726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138961261154946,0.15240268287387396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185533133128022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634549357632796,0.13194740234516522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290105396011936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841492925510793,0.0,0.08016611609669293,0.11890319111149338,0.0,0.0,0.15848774474990118,0.0,0.0,0.07126451729629954,0.1461996582507648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923389728647852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736908918541752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700224562332567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924903652896306,0.0,0.2547354125824993,0.0,0.0,0.2757878381643244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603153714375632,0.09344779951482507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3707845103933961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690927909038953,0.0,0.0,0.11580416681097365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115428659997236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,neetsenpai,2019/03/03,"Is feeling bored but not having interest in doing stuff you generally like to do a form of depression? I’m not seeking to get professionally diagnosed here, I would just like to know if this a sign of depression and if so then    who should I talk to and if not then what can I do to not feel like this anymore. Any and all advice is appreciated. ",8.63695652173913,6.091335594202902,9.455362318840582,68.23782608695653,62.6231884057971,13.257971014492753,37.492753623188406,11.855464076750405,4.159440579710144,272,10,56,7,3,94,46,69,0.17600000000000002,0.64,0.183,-0.1078,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,9,1,0,0,1,20,14,10,0,5,9,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,2,4,4,8,12,2,3,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,3,5,46,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698255474006298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18777404641818635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738411871190963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4756510460214511,0.28026043229721354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792335652481494,0.19726331151911145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144263591406179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175073741376896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047012719727808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.316096351758898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193831642252854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961508364354475,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nottherealkathleeen,2019/03/03,"Happy but empty Im happy, or i think I am, but I still feel empty and I truly don’t know how I feel. Who I seem to be is like a mask I can’t remove.  I am so lost in lies. I don’t know if I’m fooling my mind or if my mind is fooling me.",-4.1824180327868845,-2.90906901639344,0.7312909836065593,103.4005430327869,99.81967213114756,3.0500000000000003,10.903688524590164,3.1291,-2.0160016393442626,174,2,53,0,8,69,36,61,0.279,0.514,0.207,-0.6227,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,1,0,16,16,9,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,2,12,3,2,14,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,5,2,34,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25839991023342984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5440173328290776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760083647670464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808571877147176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483548465503885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789332124235184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5160101729246035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232618270036252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406075892172426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372862911074168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mgunt,2019/03/03,"Will there be hope for my libido and emotions once I get off of psych meds? So I've been on medication for anxiety and psychosis for the past three and a half years and recently I've been concerned about my sex drive and whether it can come back to a reasonable level once my psychiatrist helps me taper off my medication. Don't get me wrong, the medications do help treat anxiety, but I sometimes wonder if I can enjoy my life. To better understand my situation, we would have to go back to the beginning. 

It all started in middle school around in 2009. I don't fully remember what caused my anxiety but all I remembered was experiencing a constant stream of tension that I felt that just wouldn't go away. I thought it was nothing major so I didn't tell my mom about it.

Fast forward to my freshman year of college, which was a huge transition for me and it introduced so much anxiety. I remembered calling my mom on the phone to tell her that I was having trouble falling asleep due to my anxiety. She would get worried for me. When I came back home the following summer my anxiety persisted. I visited a doctor who suggested an antidepressant but stated that it would take weeks for it to take effect. I ultimately got prescribed a benzodiazepeine. A week or so after that doctors appointment, I remembered feeling  anxiety inside my bedroom. My mom was with me. She advised that I have a cup of tea in the kitchen. So we moved to the kitchen, hoping that it will solve my problems. After a moment of silence in the kitchen, I started to scream about how I wanted to die. My mom had to calm me down, give me the benzodiazepeine, and drove me to the hospital.

After a couple of days of waiting in the hospital, I was transferred to a psychiatric hospital. During my stay, I was prescribed fluoxetine, olanzapine, gabapentin, and hydroxyzine. After a few days in the psych hospital, I was discharged and sent home. When I gone back to college for my sophomore year, I set an appointment to see a psychiatrist who took me off the gabapentin and hydroxyzine. Over the remaining three years of college, I stayed on the fluoxetine and was briefly off the olanzapine only to be placed back on it for a reason I don't remember.

After I graduated college, I was taken off the olanzapine and on 20 mg of ziprasidone due to past weight gain. Shortly after my medication was changed, I had another episode and was hospitalized around August of 2018. During my hospitalization, my ziprasidone dose was increased to 160 mg and my fluoxetine was increased to 40 mg. I didn't feel the effects of the dose increase until about November of 2018. I started to feel calm most of the time and rarely felt any other emotions.

As of March of 2018 I am still on the 160 mg of ziprasidone and now on 10 mg of fluoxetine. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist this Wednesday about the medications I am on. He said that he does not want to lower the dose of my ziprasidone until this August. I really don't know if my libido is low and I wonder if it will return to a good level once I taper off the ziprasidone. I've been reading web pages online about antipsychotics and the information about side effects is mainly negative.

I just want some hope that my sex drive and ability to orgasm can come to a satisfactory level once I taper off the medications with my doctor's help. When I was horny at age 17, I never thought I would be put on meds that would suppress my libido. I really hope that desire would return so that I can enjoy my life again. Also, I am concerned that the regimen that I am on is making me feel like a zombie.

I am really looking for some positive advice and motivational support.",6.9371449067431845,7.260434823529412,7.5803156384505,70.99434720229556,64.46628407460545,10.874605451936873,35.507890961262554,10.64675137493898,3.89936556671449,2940,129,520,71,41,977,270,697,0.066,0.8079999999999999,0.126,0.9929,1,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,2,0,0,7,31,19,0,1,47,0,56,23,2,9,3,92,103,42,1,19,11,4,7,1,0,10,14,2,6,0,31,30,5,2,24,1,0,20,10,6,0,3,34,12,89,13,100,56,13,111,0,1,2,3,27,39,0,13,51,387,120,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545974825484112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044680827041441384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03799488343903775,0.05858667514419263,0.29919354861192843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947587075687064,0.0,0.0,0.05249359356475265,0.2148106385757096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049414253372685964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705157013557709,0.06390269615440443,0.0,0.0573959459902473,0.059105179314389016,0.09625758052732614,0.0,0.060377795036996224,0.0,0.0,0.061821317511403184,0.0,0.0720656498872947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798632640497325,0.0,0.0,0.1715621123930014,0.048893973374579736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569698450231218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300227018852622,0.039914975849619456,0.10729178499653888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757245920611738,0.05359752410088429,0.06350670288829377,0.04686279202943707,0.04468595123278602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234949380286613,0.0,0.1120883651937707,0.2219740548804119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030705796087407262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892810745624326,0.02729624238909526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691841754673684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037295001221436745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412241764088153,0.3377110385252998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617464962274658,0.0,0.059383105574998776,0.04107235682924042,0.0,0.043091939313070975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361070146785684,0.0,0.0,0.2380074731630532,0.0,0.04249318208397805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667231317203983,0.0,0.0,0.05837435978380918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346196888387967,0.0,0.056166803046633365,0.0,0.0,0.05588713079812015,0.0,0.10737912286750427,0.11489146563563506,0.05516687045082752,0.0,0.3164604845446611,0.0,0.05314707705934713,0.0,0.0,0.05654545803521304,0.04452275902398448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280248135270612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525884756064326,0.0,0.11863949095401803,0.1191042595187263,0.04461946018811959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340289601313914,0.0,0.0,0.08401759788668406,0.0,0.0976692006123432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871227160065802,0.03257941894732688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620758600616061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816473392331886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09886427911309192,0.0,0.08963431421457208,0.06803705743741388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118162526153672,0.0,0.056740739301494786,0.0,0.23813924157239996,0.061087273135304564,0.0,0.14391897309167873
mentalhealth,ECStevenson,2019/03/03,"Being gaslighted by college suoervisor My supervisor for my course has been neglecting my emails. My project has been delayed for the past 4 months. On one instance he tried to shove me out of his office, kicks me ""accidentally"" when he walks past me, told me that if I don't get his signature I won't be able to get a job. 

Also he doesn't give me the name of the paper I'm supposed to be referring to for 4 months so that at meetings I appear to be incompetent. He doesn't answer my emails. He tells me to wait for his instruction but doesn't provide any. 

I don't see how he will suddenly be responsible when it comes to doing the actual experiment and my like likelihood of graduating depends on this guy.

Have been experiencing nothing but frustrations the past 2 years in this college. 

My attempt to see the vice chancellor to lodge a complaint resulted in the lectures taking the side of my supervisor and then saying that I have an attitude problem.

My meetings with him bears no results with him cutting the meetings short when I try to discuss because he claims I am being disrespectful.

It all feels to me to be very manipulative and is taxing to my mental health. 

Is there any advice anyone would like to share to help me with this situation.",6.844928571428577,7.0706480166666665,7.517380952380954,71.70000000000002,64.66666666666666,10.69047619047619,35.0595238095238,10.451354775682146,3.67607738095238,1004,43,183,23,14,334,134,240,0.067,0.855,0.078,0.6975,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,2,0,12,0,26,1,0,5,1,27,38,13,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,3,1,1,0,1,8,8,0,3,3,0,1,3,7,4,0,1,4,5,30,3,33,24,1,23,0,1,2,0,26,8,0,3,14,126,38,9,0.16032171438621612,0.0,0.15645086655561355,0.0,0.0,0.15666452380441656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820921707201702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21804852689693768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210067036437292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773062903748372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381029610889785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682539999477632,0.0,0.0,0.08106347592220006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16752295746411744,0.15379519711216294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874370298638352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041448541119794,0.0,0.0,0.10746026571638127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590945634819661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665018297302366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615665800316525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559345257294064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538330088541223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863814282668027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4591356514852586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340622874713986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749426212235535,0.0,0.0,0.2555112988869593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18020832418662075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054197693489943,0.0,0.1401282448391574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319426853216248,0.0,0.21769584054903546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228220461683682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388794604526635,0.0,0.0,0.10324192771084374
mentalhealth,ramblingloony,2019/03/04,"Its my birthday today and I just ran away to another city to be alone because I'm having a hard time recently. I know it sounds like I'm being an attention whore, but I just went away to another city just because i don't want to be around people, and I've started to hate my birthday. 
But I've been having anxiety attacks ever since my dad died three years back. But I've never let anyone know about this because i have to be the Man of the house now and also because I'm bloody good at hiding my emotions from everyone. Now I'm sitting in a coffee shop in a random city on my 26th birthday ignoring all the calls and text msgs from everyone.
I have no idea what to do. ",6.400714285714287,4.979267928571428,7.381428571428572,77.76357142857144,66.14285714285714,10.285714285714286,33.57142857142857,9.23628265651192,2.8123571428571434,530,19,108,8,7,180,83,140,0.237,0.726,0.037000000000000005,-0.9816,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,2,0,7,0,12,1,0,0,3,21,23,8,1,1,6,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,5,0,1,4,1,1,2,3,4,0,1,3,2,11,2,18,15,1,20,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,1,11,71,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620068406804783,0.0,0.12509125242140318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280458780315598,0.11966300981069608,0.0,0.0,0.10937445507744943,0.0,0.0,0.1392494508566863,0.0,0.17795351091874118,0.2939287295208127,0.12027947373469235,0.0,0.3814155351830373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597251625232369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16234216494217316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595459012435394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149337319577715,0.0,0.2989373674079091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120001877961934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012409949860394,0.15443512547208982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049090337729784,0.0,0.17658229538778825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193175433424507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599529055669964,0.0,0.07642027627830524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064290244537194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844387039031933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544486387967427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939455221868654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071685920459104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121138951843456,0.0,0.14827051935466104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226221709911067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500549783583108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007311512751463
mentalhealth,Wookeii,2019/03/04,"Can mere depression cause paranoid hallucinations? Hi,

​

My mum has had a few episodes in her life where she has had illogical, surreal paranoid hallucinations. I was only made aware of this about 5 years ago when I broke my back and was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer but after a week they took that prognosis back - no terminal cancer just osteoporosis. But the stress of hearing the initial news was too much for my mum, and while I spent 3 months in a spinal hospital, she spent 2 months a few blocks away in a psychiatric hospital. At first my dad wouldn't tell me, but he eventually gave in and told me what had happened.

​

The stress of my diagnosis caused her to have an episode and she started having hallucinations that men in suits where out to get her. She was extremely manic in hospital, thought she didn't belong there etc, but also felt like someone or something was trying to get her.

​

She has had a couple of episodes through her life, my dad told me, where she was thought her friends or family were out to get her. I was too young for them, but I do remember one episode, and the excuses they gave at the time and she never saw a doctor or took medicine for it.

​

Now, at the time in hospital dad told me it was paranoid schizophrenia, which is what is sounded like. But lately they have been talking, in a very casual manner, about mum dropping her meds. In fact she keeps doing it, I've learned. My dad also doesn't believe in modern medicine so he takes her to a naturopath and regular GP, I'm surprised she's taken her mirtaz and desven this long.

​

Dad tells me it's not paranoid schizophrenia or bipolar, just regular depression and anxiety. My question is: can you have paranoid hallucinations with depression? Google tells me it's possibly Psychotic Depression, which doesn't sound any better than schizophrenia. Can she really have only had one or two episodes in her life and it be ""no big thing""? I'm really worried she will stop taking her meds and replace it with ""healthy living and exercise"" which, granted does help, won't stop her next episode when another stressful situation occurs, like a death in the family.

​

My position: even dropping your meds for one day is a massive deal, I encourage her to see a psychiatrist every appropriate chance I get. It's unacceptable to not be seeing a psychiatrist. Am I being a harsh son?",6.520149812734082,7.8380556404494435,6.396797752808991,75.62051498127342,65.62921348314606,9.888389513108617,34.38389513108614,10.047579312681364,3.5556726591760306,1940,87,340,44,30,611,212,445,0.17600000000000002,0.752,0.07200000000000001,-0.9943,0,0,1,0,0,0,75.0,0,2,4,2,19,16,0,3,22,0,42,11,2,3,2,50,71,29,1,1,15,9,1,3,1,3,9,3,0,1,18,17,0,4,7,2,2,2,10,8,0,5,31,7,55,8,41,34,4,51,0,5,3,0,61,22,0,6,28,233,73,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523526606427329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944596807377316,0.0,0.3839454952596849,0.43058235492808944,0.04016246785215116,0.061929008436580474,0.04518033629064693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548832035163261,0.09082618063497334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653980330240146,0.0,0.05223330572135619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213406978534735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534818513427296,0.0,0.03808847514280144,0.0608877248506921,0.20347135516411174,0.05994412336036585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044987464945155,0.05168334407371526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586692566315011,0.03900822586180635,0.0,0.049760154426572535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113520326792724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05670635722093083,0.0,0.0,0.05023595878471192,0.0,0.0,0.045629203445890026,0.0,0.1234245512115752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522260981968419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656432000122715,0.0,0.039586320794157116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249477449764784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662165961344035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514636017091504,0.08656042800043358,0.0,0.052150597946715394,0.05226577638257997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055883502709690815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19680528627880836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942814180691188,0.0,0.04341550918068104,0.0,0.04555030758614936,0.0,0.06281042107781132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006068504712925,0.0898347832608377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658068357748938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616012776400405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567002325594449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690287157950559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412550933911412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638532376103698,0.0,0.0,0.05004090103438108,0.04546686880569002,0.0,0.0,0.041802599983244836,0.0,0.0,0.09875273027340106,0.2029572852758959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881074946717536,0.047469768418523316,0.1548617514263078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03923649053567721,0.0,0.0,0.09377325138973933,0.06887610897468349,0.0,0.0,0.1693015762853071,0.13123449835655185,0.0400975063763224,0.0,0.05769252484669276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04873025161822367,0.0,0.0,0.047373947979974886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059977763104865266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43058235492808944,0.03803236519585137
mentalhealth,flavescentsunflower,2019/03/04,"I need advice. Hi there. 20 y.o. Female here. So I don’t really know where to start. For the past 6 years I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety and I’ve been on and off different medications. I finally found the “one” that works for me, but I started to become obsessed with my body and how I look. I started taking Wellbutrin about 5 months ago, and for the past 7 months I’ve unfortunately gotten myself into the habit of binging and purging. In tandem with my medication, I lost 38 pounds in 3 months. I have been purging almost every day, and I hate myself for it but it makes me feel less guilty somehow. Here’s where my main problem comes in: About two weeks ago my throat started feeling sore and my tonsils/glands have been swollen and painful. I thought I was sick at first, but I’ve realized this is resulting damage from purging. I know I need help. My mother, sister and I are so so close, but I don’t know how to bring this up. I don’t want to hurt them or make them feel guilty. I am trying to just stop but I feel like I’m losing control over such small things. I’m afraid to go see a doctor because I don’t want to be sent off I don’t even know if that’s a thing. I’ve been trying to do intermittent fasting instead of purging, but I don’t know. Where do I go from here? ",1.7797752808988747,3.737050168539328,3.2036644194756536,91.11614831460676,79.14981273408239,5.919940074906367,22.665018726591764,6.918507183188421,0.5802091086142322,1013,32,219,11,25,331,142,267,0.201,0.7559999999999999,0.043,-0.9923,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,5,19,11,1,2,6,0,20,9,2,6,0,51,54,23,0,6,9,2,4,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,8,16,0,2,12,0,0,5,6,10,0,3,11,6,34,1,31,42,2,38,0,5,2,0,8,15,0,4,19,139,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138296261386928,0.20207827522887345,0.0,0.11413760622307388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719675676255953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948303761419343,0.12588537477963266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660952445361134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818634479776646,0.0,0.0,0.12784173479496494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350966759340374,0.11751156741014662,0.09817347391052016,0.0,0.0,0.11908807567534592,0.0,0.11666652904543852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528476017375409,0.0,0.096035674769855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23053311340006535,0.08142954684494026,0.0,0.1248629106593477,0.0,0.09695396357178747,0.0,0.12497658193454107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955844085420695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112534709704264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640046685813069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202126215349095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132106443369615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055686383393737375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571709360182162,0.12751792912764373,0.12442601437551973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216920388401245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22965195599144614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27294066025922964,0.0,0.0,0.16903404341596354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723789602814468,0.0,0.12128605097823167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176195259450112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906642950390567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302049025951746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082977039165856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32271128920624353,0.0,0.0,0.09529497241780162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570110312340726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145060893068998,0.0,0.0,0.09048984650827137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477408082087116,0.0,0.11134492279368906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446036691693702,0.0,0.09143036457980444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298105171324273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340137700068458
mentalhealth,kaylasummers,2019/03/04,"PLZ help my friend with depression Hey everyone! So I’ve got an old friend I was talking to recently, and I found out that things are going pretty rough for him. He’s got a mental illness, and it makes it really hard for him to work a regular job. There are many days he’s so sick, stressed, and depressed that he doesn’t eat all day, and I can tell he’s on the verge of a mental breakdown.

He’s started a YouTube channel in an attempt to make a bit of extra money (ideally, he would like to make enough to quit his 9-5 job so he can have some control over his life), but it’s going pretty slow.

I’d really like to help him, so I wanted to ask if there’s anyone that would be kind enough to visit his Patreon page and sponsor him. It doesn’t need to be much, and I know that anything would help him, even $1 or $5. Thank you so much to everyone who is willing and able.

I don’t want him to know what I’m doing, so don’t tell! Thank you!

His Patreon page is: https://www.patreon.com/gamermanual",3.522132604237868,4.048681435406698,4.91156869446343,86.43848086124402,71.96650717703348,8.07669172932331,25.45488721804512,8.192908349453996,1.2667030758714968,776,22,175,11,14,260,114,209,0.057,0.758,0.185,0.9805,2,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,0,5,9,11,0,1,8,0,19,4,0,4,1,28,37,16,0,8,3,0,2,2,2,4,3,0,0,0,11,9,1,1,3,1,1,3,4,3,0,0,4,2,19,8,20,27,10,14,0,2,0,0,31,5,0,3,8,103,30,3,0.11462541062384282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014875228173741,0.0,0.09432694622547412,0.0,0.10715928564025942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514126068016726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285621448111391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784781425750926,0.0,0.1974533964161126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172904113333246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368773809562096,0.0,0.07570900265905375,0.0,0.0,0.2190589840302769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568084632486126,0.17711861581471186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302885248023086,0.0,0.1833528242128526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268185319380548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304929896236157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274960661063051,0.0,0.0,0.1193647261313104,0.12599025593080276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096331739974158,0.11200037135535236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295400550169472,0.11621217520297332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310309074490584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685257315546186,0.08499328956427524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028008638022285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332305023668485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191823371914084,0.0,0.0,0.14686394639404074,0.0,0.11317876447847022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113245561330665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130302059077545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921315631260608,0.20037532240944864,0.21106335538566234,0.0,0.0,0.0761520294929908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521807405585187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344866411620924,0.0,0.0,0.2442798088304453,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Myst_Clown,2019/03/04,"People are leeches. I've a solution to avoid them. Isolation. I'm done with relying on others to be content with myself. All people do is lie, cheat, and steal. Betray you in every aspect of your being. Everyone is out to get something from you. Once they get it, theyre gone. Fuck people in general. I'll never fucking complain about not waking up to a girlfriends text saying "" I hope you have a good day!!! "" again. I don't fucking care that im alone and will always be alone anymore. Better alone then with someone who will use me like a napkin and throw me away once they get what they desire. I might just isolate myself from everyone again. Willfully this time.
Next time I yearn for a significant others  love and affection I'm going to put a hole in my brain to signify what they would end up leaving in my heart. ",2.233632352941175,4.721947775,3.64183823529412,85.7158088235294,80.625,6.264705882352942,22.536764705882355,7.5105763829236425,1.1578345588235297,644,21,120,10,17,211,105,160,0.168,0.677,0.155,-0.3387,0,5,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,4,5,1,4,14,4,1,6,0,15,7,3,2,2,21,29,5,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,8,8,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,8,0,0,2,1,19,6,23,19,1,22,0,1,0,4,14,9,3,2,10,82,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149245186240965,0.0,0.0,0.11111678623343034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243676043838745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546613885145586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810613741371605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907588911489056,0.0,0.0,0.1361539207300469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612287920454859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665877852700828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827766390291901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251402826740174,0.2552082425439369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703694295744007,0.20930893810432066,0.0,0.07589441169380118,0.1120078312885828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824669448881568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326363166425834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442471652270139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140060728048906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524137337804221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052594078466618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14166586771334055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299502994709386,0.0,0.14202233843676287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28443355319848823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27774148628811035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342455608644609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619714067126212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314883200004608,0.10280636426847237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15573762906145314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533652318724084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486367484776048,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AgitatedPiano7,2019/03/04,"Can somebody go over the weaker forms of bipolarism for me? TL;DR Need to consider if the boot fits, but online descriptions aren't very helpful, and I need to narrow down which psychiatrists to see since I'm not even certain what disorder to look at

I've been accused of ADHD by people with ADHD, Autism by people with Autism, Drugs by people who use recreational drugs, and Bipolarism by people with Bipolarism. Meanwhile I think I'm just stretched thin working 50+ hours a week in a stressful job, living with a slowly dying parental figure, and have some kind of sleep disorder. So stress + sleep deprivation + overwork.

Nobody in my family, close or extended, is diagnosed with anything.

**The things that fit Bipolarism that I'm aware of:**

* Often I'll just have a ""bad day"", or I'll feel sad for no good reason. I was fairly certain these are normal things? Usually something triggers it, like allowing a negative train of thought with things that always upset me, but I suppose that's a chicken and egg problem? I've been called very negative, downtrodden, etc by my peers, but it's practically ingrained in my personality.
* I don't have major delusions of my capabilities I'm aware of, usually I'm very pessimistic, but the exception is when I catch obsession with an idea. Often I'll be aware it's probably going nowhere, I won't finish it, that it's an interesting/entertaining idea but not a practical one. The idea holds my attention until I exhaust the enthusiasm out of my system. Typically this happens around midnight to 1 AM, and on rare occasional it's finally cleaning things I've been neglecting.
* I've never had a manic episode where I felt spiritual, or anything ""godlike"". Nothing on par with recreational drugs at least. Sometimes I'll be in a good mood for no reason, and on occasion I'll find a deep contentment in the ""inbetween"" parts of the day like driving alone. The closest thing to a regular ""manic"" episode for me is feeling "" *Wow I feel as capable of being as functional as my peers for once! Maybe everything will be OK! Maybe I'm too hard on myself?* "". Descriptions of mania involving irritability and pressured speech better fit me. I talk either too much or too little regardless of mood.
* My mind is either going 100 MPH with major slips in working memory, or is completely empty with a placid calm (and still noticeable slips in working memory, but not as bad). Rarely anything inbetween, and that makes it really hard to connect with adult peers compared to when I was a kid. When I'm trying to hang with people, I'm either over-acting or under-acting.
* Often can't sleep for shit. Hard time sleeping longer than 4 hours most nights, so I get up and do things until I can fall asleep for another 3-4 hours. Some nights I just can't sleep. This often compounds, where I get a few nights of bad sleep then I'm more likely to have a night of no sleep.
* I might have experienced one manic episode on antidepressants, but it was mostly being overconfident. Coming off and on antidepressants also triggered strong ""wow kill yourself"" episodes.
* Lithium supplements made me feel a very strong relief from some kind of phantom mental cramp. I laughed to tears for the first time in over a month. Also causes rapid, hard, downwards fluctuations in mood when I come off a dosage larger than 10mg.",4.606374110266613,7.0029933664495125,5.35291349981904,76.93674508384608,72.17589576547232,8.522089516226325,28.95994691760164,9.20083730400854,2.8333083363493787,2653,108,450,61,54,859,296,614,0.17,0.725,0.105,-0.9905,2,1,4,0,0,0,101.0,0,0,0,7,23,36,2,5,30,1,34,20,9,9,3,95,65,40,2,6,24,1,10,3,0,3,10,1,1,3,26,28,1,2,15,0,0,9,14,15,0,3,10,14,33,18,86,47,17,75,0,3,2,0,9,38,1,17,30,284,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608925747432688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294878458157477,0.0,0.09720999765984767,0.05057305359924005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373215236574431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15004798309244893,0.054106256552266536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152243949451933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05375414660819314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206222407461477,0.0,0.0,0.062436845341087184,0.0,0.10471157090629933,0.06372569657100692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839494164243792,0.0,0.0,0.061689474769261426,0.06307907694840166,0.0,0.13931615547200465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211453268884056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778472719332998,0.040144001283145415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054624307384190905,0.0,0.057297096240594876,0.0,0.12292689222600545,0.0,0.05835743684176198,0.06658049828620684,0.05555096717114439,0.051698644307945206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350910907563745,0.0,0.1036264352285229,0.10195719741915828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05374672922719317,0.0,0.21778442729888134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04073892820415649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956541731066025,0.0,0.0,0.2058365096176827,0.0,0.0,0.060313846761458526,0.0,0.06724303372496572,0.12658409305843882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908074786660168,0.06091659350693435,0.0536690306887184,0.0,0.05103910963523327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05751062384718781,0.04057049993834365,0.0,0.12212148641032848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612510052922494,0.06447698645638236,0.061369532653207236,0.0,0.04851327232045784,0.0,0.044679608409572635,0.09013381778894668,0.0468765642576028,0.0,0.0,0.228148152636632,0.05955058215576016,0.058319155097548925,0.06919737191440956,0.0,0.06472772395122467,0.08237093908794152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748796244785879,0.06581780791492775,0.0,0.2106827652375485,0.05306993793888756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553011528098139,0.05815735981422801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038936627385258035,0.12498200956774702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04843304821234876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062388840023486915,0.05027707323611134,0.0,0.4257607343687064,0.0,0.0,0.04679069604812077,0.0601120525037927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853824232536909,0.0,0.13924443439875686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048851912697974016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422734730859781,0.03894477271069099,0.0,0.04825179101262636,0.07088152680547777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041264997621901035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249360035345806,0.1338791135006755,0.20059638604639515,0.0,0.0,0.04875330232226334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274365643584127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Whynot10182001AMM,2019/03/04,I’ve finally done it! I was tired of just meandering around and hoping for the best. I’ve decided to finally break the news to my family that I’m not okay. I thank the entirety of Reddit for helping me reach this point. Now I’ve just got to wait and see what happens next. ,1.085789473684212,3.2631308245614083,3.434298245614034,87.36092105263157,82.85964912280701,8.010526315789475,21.780701754385966,8.841846274778883,1.6467333333333345,215,7,47,6,6,74,41,57,0.109,0.718,0.173,0.6015,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,10,9,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,4,4,8,6,1,7,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,4,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203903954146588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25981015733567603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533507628530535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333876061889091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5424031629328252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19800489076882316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189259368772482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594140988131864,0.0,0.0,0.24589354862978294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632942294154728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340343168331736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972817808296447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279298222312841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845460803595352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PogothePenguin,2019/03/04,"How do you make yourself feel worth it after a breakdown? I feel as though I have so much on my plate right now and I don't know how to control it all; grad school is kicking my in the butt, my relationship is on pause because of my choices and lack of having confidence to ask serious questions, and I feel as though my relationship with my family isn't so great.  I crave socializing with people but at the same time I want to be alone. 
Tonight everything just piled on and I cried to try to let it all out, but now I feel worthless.  How do you pick yourself up after something like this?",6.851708683473389,5.633878218487396,7.018949579831933,80.06551120448181,65.1344537815126,10.286274509803922,34.11904761904762,9.2995712137729,2.7392845938375343,464,17,98,7,6,150,73,119,0.127,0.805,0.068,-0.8009,0,1,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,10,4,0,0,3,0,10,1,1,6,2,27,18,15,0,2,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,6,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,16,2,20,16,5,14,0,1,0,1,7,8,1,1,7,74,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19199602860664566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330370159289538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300490105299253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079175448713668,0.0,0.0,0.20362937586103946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660607750992346,0.0,0.1747581784463388,0.0,0.37493138705109136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043802482646832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187907462702034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895618882756085,0.0,0.09056648156848644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374146567760907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136274392450286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851798327910982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20766614017934495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3980538718127133,0.0,0.15831206930851172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876127530642684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889698483193695,0.0,0.14271328472336192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642665092752453,0.0,0.10809558706087076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585970827761891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934093399432562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwback2trash,2019/03/04,"I feel like I’m always preparing for something that doesn’t exist. I’m always waiting for the day when I move to another country, transition, finally find a group of friends that is genuinely caring and loyal, and meet the love of my life. It’s not as if this is impossible but it is quite a few years down the road for me to be able to do these thing. For me to have the money and job to move, for me to get over my social anxiety enough to go outside, for me to transition from female to male. For me to make friends that are understanding enough to put up with my bullshit every day, and won’t let me push them away when I’m feeling extra depressed and reclusive.",10.386617647058827,5.852616779411767,10.115058823529411,70.98876470588236,61.352941176470594,13.52705882352941,41.17058823529412,10.793553405168565,4.144531176470588,526,19,109,9,5,174,85,136,0.081,0.805,0.114,0.1901,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,3,7,0,0,6,0,10,2,0,1,0,15,22,10,0,1,3,0,2,1,2,1,1,0,0,1,8,6,0,1,4,0,1,5,3,1,0,0,0,2,12,6,27,19,4,16,0,1,0,1,8,5,0,1,7,77,20,1,0.16766048403107206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27901390743039145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580663609348074,0.12825981137684492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575225437928328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094103745518932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21625428398852709,0.0,0.14440572922064848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464761969530496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126118893356032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695483567199894,0.1197766832919466,0.0,0.183663865076324,0.15323864497863052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590681481251869,0.0,0.08759568297494902,0.0,0.09528531681222896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663771599637527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714442042671023,0.11842355818072366,0.08191044363941516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132013274037764,0.0,0.11191467499573546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563931220274893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16854509458764672,0.0,0.17832756250395226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17090874948705628,0.0,0.12907323175725868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138617567654366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745404767408904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796785475111677
mentalhealth,Original_Tour,2019/03/04,"on medical leave right now due to mental health (stress/anxiety/ depression) , but worry about what to tell people at work when I go back So I started a 3 week out patient depression/stress  program where I go to therapy several times a week, practice mindfulness etc. My therapist recommended it because I've gotten to the point where I've tried almost everything and my insurance covers this. So far  I'm learning a lot. I feel that the tools that they teach will stay for me for a long time.   
I am on medical leave right now and getting disability  ( gave HR a dr note that doesn't say my condition or why I am off work) but I do not want my co workers or manager to know the reasons why I've been gone. He's incredibly nosey and I know he will pry. What should I do? I also know that people in the office gossip, if people find out the reason they won't believe ie take it seriously. I can hear my co worker saying "" 3 weeks off for mental health.. BS"" in my head. Please advice. ",3.620153846153844,5.080818399999998,5.152820512820514,81.27384615384621,72.69230769230771,8.687179487179487,26.84615384615385,9.21078282632365,2.2324461538461544,768,27,152,17,15,259,121,195,0.08,0.8909999999999999,0.029,-0.7329,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,4,10,3,0,0,10,0,11,6,1,2,0,24,26,12,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,9,5,0,0,8,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,4,4,20,0,18,18,2,31,0,1,0,0,10,15,0,5,12,88,29,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052310194062996,0.0,0.0,0.1132564800918798,0.0,0.0,0.09044855864030282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652361016801201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696935095563615,0.0,0.06894663841902411,0.0,0.0,0.12742853361153555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741558861648658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613992428878007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016498300290703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057188357615641276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337424200515437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059091734540734936,0.0,0.12855826806689358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607647556837028,0.2404467467922161,0.127475484862145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864756215523787,0.0,0.0,0.23951983775732194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009274016384452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615626463076336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278790754641604,0.22796277244400465,0.0,0.11420195260850895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23523447675951015,0.0,0.0,0.12415330880331801,0.10691904726981602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23257777787274914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931789665452284,0.0,0.1798883497962317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277743807284073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005500095643117,0.12055292297295217,0.0,0.0,0.2591185823112897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503950276281612,0.0,0.09885714974281327,0.0,0.12934332400361445,0.13132148974438815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190272786988358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678962343475326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671117597784504,0.0,0.2721736054001603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20411602518963734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468089952747242,0.11486175225103505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,all_mint_everything3,2019/03/04,"I'm not seeking medical advice just looking for someone with experience. let me preface this by saying I do not intend or wish to harm myself or anyone else.
hopefully someone can share with me their experience who has been through this, so I have an idea of what my options are. has anyone recently been to a psych ward in either nj or pa, USA? I've been off psych meds for quite some time and I really need to get back on them in a stabile place. I'm wondering:
-how long voluntary/involuntary psych holds are, specifically in NJ or pa?
-I'm on Suboxone (validly prescribed) which is a medication for my drug addiction that keeps me clean and manages cravings. will they allow me to continue taking it as prescribed while there?
-will I be seen by a psychiatrist and put on psych meds while there to be made stable until I have an appointment on the outside?
feel free to either message me or comment here. thanks in advance.
",4.709657142857143,6.661984394285718,5.535285714285717,77.6412142857143,70.77142857142857,8.657142857142857,30.785714285714285,9.23628265651192,2.907971428571429,739,32,131,16,14,241,116,175,0.032,0.861,0.106,0.9022,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,2,7,5,0,0,7,0,17,4,0,4,0,29,32,14,0,3,10,2,1,0,0,2,4,1,1,0,7,5,0,2,3,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,5,4,16,5,26,22,3,20,0,0,2,0,10,10,0,9,8,95,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122034132953876,0.0,0.15347879045608356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21964226334124348,0.1609281831962683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077068555849825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18214160731245566,0.0,0.13120482395147678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307272790539848,0.0,0.0,0.07941507070380137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205821031096079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599762051972724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17730344346630908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396035781753108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16060614053741146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389945850599997,0.13189219793791035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486154958069604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34892009006304825,0.3164461027458073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164591959154478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640959567196747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789030176874355,0.0,0.16705435851644876,0.0,0.0,0.10061769107715827,0.0,0.15507939477855745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490169864530827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661555900132205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809078641345812,0.0,0.0,0.1446012313527533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158388959351843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061310371748776,0.0,0.17032661949341346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FesteredRage,2019/03/04,"I feel like I’m losing my sanity. It’s getting extremely unbearable. I don’t know what to do. I feel myself getting angrier. More anxious. More afraid. I’m afraid I’m gonna snap, like the world wants me to be this monster that tears through anything that crosses its path, and it’s all because of some extremely shitty people. I hate the world, and I wish it would burn most days. People are so cruel and hateful, and it’s driving me mad because I’m encountering those people more and more. I feel like I’m gonna explode, or die. I don’t know what to do anymore. This can’t be real. It can’t be. It feels like hell. This can’t be what the world is. It can’t be. Everyone wants to make you suffer, they all want to destroy my life, and I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!! I want to fight back, but nothing I do seems to make sense anymore. Nothing is as it used to be. I wish I was a kid again. At least then I wouldn’t have to see the worlds true face. What do I do? I’m losing it. I want this all to stop. Why can’t I just die? Why can’t every asshole just drop dead? Why do they always get to win? Why do I always have to lose? Why is this fucking planet like this? Why?",-0.6759736055776884,1.4399664661354628,1.5256362051792856,98.09510769422312,91.50996015936256,4.253037848605579,18.20231573705179,5.800992412223965,-0.4292620517928287,897,26,211,7,32,299,112,251,0.213,0.6809999999999999,0.106,-0.9823,0,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,0,1,2,4,6,21,8,2,5,0,32,3,1,3,4,37,64,11,3,9,4,0,4,5,0,4,1,0,0,1,24,6,0,1,7,0,0,2,10,14,0,0,1,5,25,7,17,53,10,13,1,4,1,1,5,5,2,4,10,127,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742789298233476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686994390410558,0.18763357775144968,0.0,0.0,0.15569383392508315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274079205096033,0.0,0.1153333452013296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061008529270553835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635765429451266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970373784875928,0.0903933988223309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19132838791345386,0.20274463433799794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745525151120262,0.14827221981974287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867938559842417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103978273271883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668180715992208,0.2310814660487571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31749625184275865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629113466522732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154058444386828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19674910723328884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767437279898648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538315553578198,0.08611937706372827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790890001876401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170316315273701,0.0,0.0,0.27898470702367395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5121653035042839,0.0,0.21756836368753776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720041569808817,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yungbet,2019/03/04,"I’m 15 and I feel like my mental state is on the edge of destruction I’m a 15 year old freshmen and I attend a mostly white upper-middle class high school. I believe that I have some serious mental issues but i don’t know exactly what which is why I need help. All throughout middle school I think my mental state has decreased. Even as a 7th grader I had thoughts about killing myself and I don’t even know why. I would randomly get pissed or sad in school and would just blame it on becoming a teenager and shit but recently, I have started to feel as if my mental state is decreasing more and more everyday. I have started feeling less connected from people, I no longer feel close with anyone in my life and have started to develop some trust issues, I used to feel motivated all the time and now I always feel like shit and I never want to do anything, I used to be a super social extroverted person (and i still am) however I feel as if I have become more awkward and it has become more difficult for me to hold conversation or pick up on social cues and I have started to feel lonely randomly even when i’m not. Also, my self confidence has decreased slightly. I just feel like shit all the time and it’s fucking up my brain. This was a super quick paragraph about how I feel and I just thought I had to share it. I would’ve put more detail in but I would obviously like to keep some things to myself. I just felt like I needed a place to tell people how I feel idk. ",3.4615159031222653,4.902279808724835,4.66841260577765,84.66936533411148,73.06040268456375,7.598716078202512,25.37262912168077,8.18289091462,1.5027733878027427,1165,37,234,18,23,384,144,298,0.162,0.695,0.14300000000000002,-0.7106,1,2,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,3,16,21,7,1,10,0,23,7,5,6,6,71,55,28,1,8,12,0,12,5,0,3,1,0,0,2,9,16,0,2,18,0,0,2,5,12,0,0,6,13,39,9,28,45,13,32,0,2,1,1,8,12,5,10,20,160,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482429322384181,0.06744908002598017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667959677351004,0.0,0.06670613234430432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685758580377696,0.0,0.09132776411361844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049066226349577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061968355123887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4508545421480947,0.1737295571609562,0.07783108093180742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493940427104923,0.04235092282904728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054333346180545895,0.08564518673803942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921283184451422,0.0,0.07205056439272263,0.08968176608131591,0.0,0.08909779254512971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057255640955357685,0.19801106399604032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267608865675254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021111355603678,0.06251908692342763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505967469024962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239470572776122,0.07077916471841474,0.08469128406844308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148849408637257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800377616786113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461135745373287,0.0,0.0,0.08456409408236043,0.0,0.24962324186424906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526255665830678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295010084869277,0.0,0.06473526033977575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708507129194415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385319424530407,0.051940488149532615,0.0,0.12870644273124973,0.09453440980155033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002101115545132,0.0,0.0,0.04781176060630103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462895292914292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303330689540814,0.0,0.0,0.05220049812146571
mentalhealth,maevecor,2019/03/04,Mental health “experts” Does it really annoy other people that there are so many mental health “experts” out there??  Even people with minor mental illnesses (I am in no way invalidating anyone.  EVERYONE’S STRUGGLE IS VALID) try and tell me that I know nothing about mental health.  I have been hospitalized twice and was in an IOP for about a year.  This is really making me angry.  ,4.275819327731092,7.180434102941183,5.377983193277314,73.8073529411765,75.61764705882355,7.4151260504201675,21.478991596638657,8.418075326091056,1.7704050420168072,301,8,46,6,7,99,51,68,0.209,0.7909999999999999,0.0,-0.9387,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,1,1,2,0,7,4,0,1,0,6,9,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,5,0,7,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247823357874656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14077114858404968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062476288484824,0.0,0.0,0.15371023797518735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5129653613929086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840537769955972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073764269097983,0.16308850499913108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6484429921159506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543511296210271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22304248236589427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061042348948634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816756477207084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060020696368386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921452798991453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768452169762454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103589654035387
mentalhealth,fankywank,2019/03/04,"am i bipolar? for the past two years or so, i’ve been very all over the place mentally. there will be days or sometimes a few weeks if i’m lucky where i’m
feeling great and happy and like i can get everything i need to do done and feel great about myself and i start to work out and stuff. and then there will be other days or weeks where i’m the complete opposite. i’ll be super super down and sad all day or week and not want to do anything or hang out with anyone. i usually cry a lot during those times and in the
past i’ve tried certain things which i will not go in to. it feels horrible and idk why it happens. does anyone have an idea of why? i’m thinking i might be bipolar? idk


*also sorry if it doesn’t make much sense it’s hard for me to explain this stuff*",0.5048228206945424,2.45706763253012,2.150765414599576,97.03466690290577,83.51807228915663,5.110701630049611,18.800850460666197,6.2272716619740125,-0.2650520198440818,601,15,141,5,17,196,100,166,0.093,0.742,0.165,0.9495,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,7,9,0,0,7,0,16,2,0,1,3,37,32,20,0,4,9,0,4,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,11,13,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,2,4,9,8,16,22,5,24,0,1,0,0,1,9,0,10,14,91,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697553100421302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870696820716242,0.0,0.11008101398234346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025492014002186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693966576468168,0.2588110496491056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706271148025707,0.13689278327669466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022352492195985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20291384457063266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988911460263321,0.0,0.07602436787372921,0.0,0.0,0.2949629958047833,0.0,0.0,0.1182920489091524,0.14240026685469587,0.11983132041761828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15100963855902164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535308805463362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113726162394301,0.0,0.0,0.08929227195740072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480833192914835,0.14190844624558469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833607550118366,0.09918849142604394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553965112248858,0.0,0.0,0.13976080006558705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230159224666796,0.1497441576148186,0.0946828381302808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306268462308719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887060335191738,0.08571418250913845,0.0,0.0,0.07800215153731364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082080318398744,0.0,0.130673498623915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473283571842286,0.1103739606595154,0.07890079821532442,0.0,0.3219058037044226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414125831232557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973858894936163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861432609214227
mentalhealth,doomkake,2019/03/04,"Mental Illness Manifesting in Multiple Disorders I know this seems maybe a little obvious.. I know for example that depression and anxiety go hand in hand and can co-exist with many disorders..But  from personal experience, it seems like someones proclivity to certain thinking can manifest in certain disorders and move between others.. I was always prone as a child to negative emotion and my issues seemed to surface when I developed an eating disorders years ago. That lasted a few years. Now I struggle with debilitating OCD and GAD, and no eating disorder. I have also struggled with abusing drugs and alcohol due to my addictive personality. I feel like the OCD was almost always there, but manifested in an eating disorder, and now its just about something else.. I guess I'm asking for opinions and conversation on the topic. :)",7.985454545454544,9.925814713286718,8.800986013986016,57.43378671328674,62.70629370629371,12.433286713286714,40.17412587412589,11.979248473330829,6.038477482517482,676,37,91,24,10,228,94,143,0.13699999999999998,0.763,0.1,-0.5346,0,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,2,7,0,5,9,2,0,3,27,16,13,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,3,6,12,4,0,7,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,3,10,4,18,14,1,17,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,6,10,65,16,0,0.0,0.12679111331416432,0.0,0.1166583161963764,0.0,0.0,0.09485922642234956,0.11436273521172352,0.10715654634083643,0.0,0.0,0.08557704740195593,0.17808425920419285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186349456581599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004129475117472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216883685095943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6132221750690601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409935089124208,0.32849839959950045,0.08939436588064248,0.12037351939636658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467776807064574,0.0,0.0,0.05410822310586855,0.07644902761452148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060817094078996776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788521738857555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169218985368977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762142920271584,0.08722864444641874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045608142687382,0.10725362278785124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849285158716987,0.1075074219001928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078424094125319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373627520264196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868766054498497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29225771577673737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067048557459803,0.08238267071442325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22374328155977968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856863986321847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782377809260551
mentalhealth,Jvc_Joe,2019/03/04,"I fluctuate almost every other day It's really strange for me, I'll go through phases of having heavy fantasies of hurting myself or killing myself, I might have intrusive thoughts about swerving my car into a crash barrier or opposing traffic, I'll go through intense psychosis (one reoccurring episode is of a man hanging himself from the tree outside my window) - all of this awful stuff that makes life unbearable.

Then 2 or 3 days later I'll be absolutely fine, my depression gone, no intrusive thoughts etc. 

I'm not sure what to make of it all but it's making life very difficult for me.",10.03709090909091,8.404944890909098,9.61727272727273,65.29590909090909,59.18181818181819,12.8,45.63636363636364,11.602472056035307,5.485309090909091,478,26,78,11,5,155,82,110,0.189,0.7859999999999999,0.025,-0.9325,0,0,0,0,0,2,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,3,1,5,2,0,3,3,18,14,5,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,8,1,0,2,2,1,0,5,2,4,0,1,3,0,10,2,13,9,3,10,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,5,4,50,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114562042444438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723742997411766,0.0,0.1818803708747559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355103175743085,0.0,0.0,0.17791979287876578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400255011246289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22606180194163986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336282652884221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983111653320527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4228727496701337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22401794895873245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309422510594702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13528087904847338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24173907393224944,0.0,0.0,0.1990251813748264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352907091446109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423732652675547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rainmap,2019/03/04,"Can someone explain therapy? So I’m at the point now where I know I need therapy for my social anxiety and depression but I am absolutely terrified. I feel like I need to know exactly what the therapist will ask me before I go, otherwise I’ll be too scared to do it. What was everyone’s first experiences of therapy? ",3.989838709677418,5.8067105645161305,6.755677419354843,68.71351612903229,72.38709677419354,12.701935483870967,34.980645161290326,11.979248473330829,5.446021935483872,253,14,46,12,5,92,48,62,0.211,0.733,0.056,-0.8808,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,9,15,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,1,8,1,5,12,0,6,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471561388631538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983217966120096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368559952675565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656808107988929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18380980396220908,0.0,0.18816660900915466,0.0,0.0,0.09726383212976797,0.1374232041187902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362272470240805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932356099637427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143386879388268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093978187626747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852674582066618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184393989803693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19258757350767589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960884816721761,0.1629874052747401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6599469478147564,0.22334670667366374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beepboopbop131,2019/03/04,"Cognitive, Memory, and Organised Thinking decline For some context, I am 17(m), I have smoked cannabis in the past when I was about 14 1/2 yrs old for a few months, however I stopped as I was not liking the affects. Since then I have never smoked again, but did drink socially occasionally. About a year ago, I completely cut out all substances and became completely sober. Fast forward years of feeling completely fine mentally, being lucid, funny, intelligent, and confident, to about 3 or so months ago. I began feeling somewhat dissociated, this dissociation brings on intense feelings of anxiety, which in turn makes the dissociation worse. I have lost most, if not all of my social confidence, and have begun having measurable problems in my cognitive and memory abilities. Abstract thought has also been a struggle. My anxiety heightens most of these symptoms, but also makes it hard to speak at times, slurring words and speaking quietly. 

I am currently seeing a psychologist for managing the anxiety.

I am seeking advice of what to do, and also looking for responses from anyone, especially people whom have experienced these symptoms, and what followed.

Thank you so much for reading, any and all replies are deeply appreciated! ",9.903115942028986,10.832258502415463,9.55006038647343,57.317554347826096,58.178743961352644,12.890338164251206,44.30314009661836,12.311054993355176,6.267412560386474,998,56,136,31,12,323,137,207,0.119,0.73,0.152,0.8909999999999999,3,0,3,1,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,1,10,7,1,1,8,0,17,3,0,3,4,35,32,21,0,2,6,0,4,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,8,10,1,1,5,2,0,3,3,4,0,0,7,10,15,3,24,24,9,27,0,1,2,0,6,7,0,6,20,105,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537036734856274,0.22745514218754664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077972520796809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724637605578761,0.0,0.2944406174081457,0.0,0.0,0.08970826248543047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035509672586122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256822406834299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946124912288104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492893372089635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267944556824384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077371880293558,0.0,0.14005135762149354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712785200032152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929322477057315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20481092163490366,0.0,0.09431307494786616,0.0,0.0989505744454676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462614518112595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247402686049975,0.08894500258787144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122762925418884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833174335473807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022361177414929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612862433370822,0.0,0.0,0.2615653190152116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072620571236565,0.0,0.13412390612932915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666994647221966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181186627799008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220755280174008,0.0,0.10185350642347167,0.07481102664042072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955032108340704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074562854211375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16523815460660593
mentalhealth,bblakee,2019/03/04,"I quit caffeine and deleted facebook, instagram and snapchat I instantly feel so much better after just a few weeks. Quitting caffeine has made me so much less anxious! I used to think I might have developed some sort of anxiety disorder but as soon as I stopped drinking a litre+ of energy drinks per day, the feeling of impending doom that used to hang over me has essentially dissipated for the most part. 

Deleting my socials was just as hard, but (and i’m well aware this may come across as cliche) I found social media was making me very insecure, and I felt as though every time I engaged with it I had to put on a facade, or pretend to be someone i’m not. This was making me super unhappy and I didn’t realise to what extent until after I deleted it all. 

I understand many people are able to consume caffeine and social media without a significant impact on their mental health but for me, and i’m sure many others, cutting it out of my daily life has make a hugely positive impact on ones emotional wellbeing. ",6.3916323024054975,7.0098738505154685,7.076855670103092,73.11964776632306,65.64948453608248,9.765635738831616,34.723367697594504,9.725611199111238,3.5046646048109973,813,36,138,16,12,269,125,194,0.123,0.7390000000000001,0.138,0.7885,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,4,7,8,1,1,7,0,13,4,0,6,2,38,29,20,0,0,8,0,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,10,2,1,6,3,0,3,3,3,1,1,8,4,20,5,28,18,9,18,1,1,0,0,4,7,0,6,8,104,28,0,0.13021403945795215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961338377383423,0.14710480063473394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516373616888285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216786505400783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397728311166801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923657043413624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25512037133245496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647326805963629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971094432879554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168026168811536,0.0,0.12502589816787385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427729732298136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664620271041945,0.0,0.0,0.13841143486080507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919740269557973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232116725788724,0.26075664740031124,0.2640331962174322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122512510467998,0.1381365183108623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19144460324200385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823640310253711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410091154674501,0.0,0.09027401948354837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090107501426956,0.0,0.27699731865293475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982104449601685,0.11032993307219327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886476758556883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227251911692619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343589867218769,0.12793463263464858,0.0,0.0759288535614985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555740732047533,0.0,0.22492624376401105,0.0,0.10744021967022226,0.0,0.0,0.10444984806338913,0.0,0.11707805955016992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552168733863173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,selfdevelopnetwork,2019/03/04,"Spark your mind into life today We live in incredible times in relation to digital technology, but as human beings our happiness is declining. We search for the quickest easiest solutions outside of OURSELVES. I believe to uplift this amazing world we need to upskill our minds ABILTY to realise what we have, looking at the positive side of life,delivers positive solutions to us. If we feed OURSELVES POSITIVITY, love ,patience, face to face time for each other and compassion for OURSELVES then others we would grow in Authentic ways. The way we live has become so survival based thinking ,comparing, criticising,smalltalking,and so on .If we focus more on self care we wont need to compare we will feel proud of those whom have struck fame and FORTUNE, they can struggle also !",8.992279411764708,9.826015433823533,8.566470588235298,63.92411764705886,60.102941176470594,11.8,42.0,11.45678717892309,5.416591176470589,633,34,92,17,8,202,99,136,0.03,0.643,0.327,0.9956,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,13,1,1,2,3,6,0,1,3,0,9,5,2,0,0,24,16,10,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,6,14,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,16,5,21,12,2,16,0,0,1,1,19,9,0,2,4,66,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169735381850785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20950091875371316,0.0,0.21371895407108515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340456695231556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591443633744838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20193163298302294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679714283692609,0.0,0.0,0.3350046346455444,0.0,0.1592942713569391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712052598925607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3830715330801969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813097824770422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19789107851985555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983082191879418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154755904731948,0.0,0.0,0.22122292582767789,0.0,0.17980670110829827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281772178057899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011388093778869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475240268558414,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChicagoOhio,2019/03/04,Feeling defeated for the moment Just feeling stuck under some debt at the moment and it’s just draining at times. I know I work hard and I’m good at my job and that I have made extreme progress with my mental health and financial status the last few years but today made me feel the weight of it again and it can just be difficult. That is all. ,2.0062857142857133,4.2558847714285735,2.8071428571428565,92.74785714285716,79.85714285714286,5.7142857142857135,21.42857142857143,6.868970318607317,0.4458571428571427,274,8,57,3,7,86,49,70,0.135,0.777,0.08800000000000001,-0.5267,2,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,4,0,4,2,0,2,1,18,12,6,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,5,6,1,7,8,3,11,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,7,39,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897023712714925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21548288245662434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23013979069863055,0.0,0.0,0.27308200274844824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549423067951863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411903380593206,0.2094149319784285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.486186568958871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589036087266905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980556641017295,0.0,0.24351946890762294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128456631707217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870326401057134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544082105965813
mentalhealth,tagchaser94,2019/03/04,"For those who voluntary committed themselves to psychiatric inpatient care, how did you know it was time? Also: 
1) How long did you stay? 
2) Roughly, how much did it cost? 
3) How did it financially affect you? 
4) Did it help? ",0.8585714285714303,3.3473724761904786,2.764285714285716,85.9307142857143,98.04761904761904,7.161904761904763,22.66666666666667,7.957251820313856,2.0241523809523807,172,7,33,5,7,57,30,42,0.0,0.813,0.187,0.8385,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,5,1,7,8,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,3,1,2,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34968451437127396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4458257205515983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930927408294927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403120556217438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869700276316852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214436281270163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4660714439185147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25497554650292725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DegradedNewt,2019/03/04,"I have ASD I’m a guy that has had a diagnosis for ASD for most of my life. Since my mother decided that it’s too much trouble to look up what autism actually entails for a kid, she and my sister decided to bully me (unintentionally?), in short I got sub-subpar help. From mountains of meds to just consistently being belittled, idk what to do. I’ll be 21 this year and I can’t continue to be abused, I’ll go into details in a pm or however you guys do it here. Please I just need someone to talk to, Ive been having catatonic breakdowns as of late and I need to get moving.",2.7814166666666686,3.8825949750000044,5.343333333333334,80.5016666666667,74.25,8.666666666666668,26.66666666666667,9.150863307647796,2.0801666666666674,447,16,96,10,9,160,83,120,0.118,0.8390000000000001,0.043,-0.8225,1,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,12,1,0,0,0,12,19,5,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,1,12,0,20,13,2,10,0,0,1,0,9,5,0,2,3,64,19,0,0.0,0.2703292248653881,0.22264872219206916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192028310177608,0.0,0.12966711523546448,0.0,0.18247832510215475,0.0,0.0,0.4518234178446289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292910403706567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573714987842363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115432764393015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915947633244172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534314505329384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24249522155723416,0.16772195008571072,0.3383516603290852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25044832419626795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188734169074678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933170349472058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833842854666924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469258930137933
mentalhealth,Mediatormedia,2019/03/04,"I am only a mere human that has the natural instinct to help you the best I can This is my first post and have never done this before, but all I want to do is help, if you are experiencing any troubles or having a bad day, I am your sponge, in which you can talk to me or rant about it, it would be my pleasure to be at your service to make you feel better ",8.115384615384617,3.7160848974358975,8.770512820512824,78.49115384615388,65.41025641025641,11.425641025641026,33.69230769230769,7.793537801064563,2.199123076923077,274,6,66,2,3,94,56,78,0.126,0.66,0.214,0.7391,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,6,0,3,1,5,0,0,4,0,15,0,0,1,2,11,18,5,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,2,13,3,8,14,2,6,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,3,3,55,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959723783554076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406183808811627,0.0,0.0,0.2452200749677674,0.0,0.3024272792290738,0.2548719164684253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18585235073560905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949083387885625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571253839966186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451258811646187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863221485756172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236248222368252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22226229088658786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191739835245951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759969152325352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316282816883764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997611396169385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20471490424746028,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kebritlia,2019/03/04,"Can you develop bipolar disorder after taking psychoactive substances? My cousin who is 16 and has never taken any drugs recently smoked weed for the first time. Then, on another occasion, he took some MDMA. Now, about 6 months after, he is claiming to be experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder, such as unreasonably high self esteem and insomnia followed by bad depressions. His last depression was so bad that he actually thought of killing himself. Can any of the drugs have ""given him"" bipolar disorder? ",8.538392156862745,10.679840505882352,8.398529411764706,60.08171568627452,61.58823529411765,12.254901960784313,42.401960784313715,11.855464076750405,6.226960784313728,413,24,55,14,6,133,69,85,0.26,0.74,0.0,-0.9793,1,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,4,5,1,0,2,0,8,7,0,0,1,5,14,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,5,0,1,5,1,5,0,11,8,1,14,0,2,0,0,10,2,0,1,10,37,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.1588649986564774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22141314839068216,0.17070535587023156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718550120106581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28043118216770424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5597335022166244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775823680291295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847383380291772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17200246416802226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18010918470068846,0.0,0.0,0.13270012249666854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129941875622962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555798425958914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074099152030402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983129019020726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692069368030043,0.122402013011572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924150292174474,0.09492740954766536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18087187499011967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_5kage,2019/03/04,"First time going to therapy In 2 hours i will be going to my first therapy session. i’m going because i have super bad anxiety and am severely depressed. i’m scared to go because i don’t know what is going to happen and i’m very nervous. i think i got depressed in the first place because of all the drugs i have done in my life and i’m an idiot for making the choices to take them. i’m only 18 but started smoking when i was 11, eventually led to xans, acid, shit like that. but i wasn’t some crackhead like i never touched meth or heroin and never would in my life. but the past few months i’ve also been taking a lot of xanax and have been putting myself in stupid situations that could have so easily been avoidable. to be honest i shouldn’t be alive right now and i don’t know how i still am. anyways i think my brain is all fucked up from the drugs i’ve took over the years and smoking everyday for the past about 3-4 years now. i hope going to therapy helps and i really hope i straighten my life out. i do not want to be homeless or some bum. i know my potential in life as i have also done a lot of great things and have many talents, but my problems took those over to where i can barely do anything anymore. i just want to go back to being normal and be happy and have a good life. ",2.8892857142857125,3.8710762710622753,4.386247252747253,87.92750274725277,73.83516483516482,7.071721611721611,25.00531135531136,7.365786028017652,1.0245693772893776,1014,31,220,11,20,339,137,273,0.139,0.6920000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.9414,0,1,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,4,13,21,4,3,11,0,33,11,2,3,4,46,63,23,0,9,8,0,1,2,0,3,8,0,0,0,5,12,0,1,5,0,0,11,7,11,0,3,10,2,30,10,30,43,7,43,0,2,0,1,2,13,2,8,21,151,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532867037333858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951111997054685,0.0,0.09011320191678733,0.0,0.0,0.07477376950235855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069869218081619,0.07586809065893035,0.16617053005778945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014348708943571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725479368596164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652298035583967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859719319974596,0.0,0.0,0.2107480242278889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23186797916613444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840027977140838,0.0,0.0,0.3614828613956237,0.07621286026446697,0.07267266864829214,0.1001784697566904,0.0,0.0,0.08035120752533594,0.09672698629552268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090458194497444,0.0,0.0,0.18049796965054168,0.08948326293935921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14981031508208864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32090153851284303,0.08878364334922137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449955529339918,0.0,0.0,0.06065278216601016,0.09212237594571993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252720431556975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140160660821447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902795116751215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910657278645445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734809588972283,0.0,0.0,0.0949340987288292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694508772441459,0.0,0.09134395384308318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05821014734021485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759781574784556,0.0,0.0,0.09097125019961036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265106010634596,0.0932711386176006,0.0,0.102135543537163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431438499756471,0.0,0.07256453440198395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663764300410902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117345414071202,0.0,0.06036635901298714,0.1164446491572001,0.0,0.0,0.052983840616463114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019076817147389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497275683471408,0.10718851300281557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454755807849617,0.0,0.0,0.11702756185282127
mentalhealth,hiltymelbourne,2019/03/04,"Toxic anger I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, with no sign of it letting up. It’s strange because I’m completely aware of how to stay grounded and realize the nature of my situation. But lately I am struggling to control my anger. Several times throughout the day I find myself holding onto a bubble of hot, burning frustration in my throat. It started off as being “rubbed the wrong way” or being “grumpy” and now I feel like I can’t be around anyone without getting actually angry?
Other people will let these things roll off their backs, no big deal.  Why can’t I do that too? 

I feel like I’m spending all my energy trying to maintain composure through the day. Exhausting. 
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mentalhealth,chicken-nugs,2019/03/04,"What do you do during your depressive episodes? I’m just curious.
Personally, I get a bunch of junk food and sit in bed in my pajamas, put on the TV, start sobbing about nothing, and binge-eat. ",3.4954385964912262,5.073296263157896,4.876315789473686,82.66254385964915,73.21052631578948,9.27719298245614,31.08771929824561,9.725611199111238,3.0012877192982454,150,7,31,4,3,50,34,38,0.135,0.805,0.06,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,5,5,1,6,0,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322856701603641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39476578920065797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4665062520692688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20156257218860926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37018182369173536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33686232896488394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38783170175834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730685100843743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ash811,2019/03/04,"Slipped up (venting) After being sober from self harm for three years I slipped up last night when the Depression voice got to be unbearable. Nothing bad enough to warrant medical attention. I just feel incredibly stupid for letting myself do it. I know other coping skills. I could have used them but I didn't. I'm grateful that it's winter and I wear long sleeves all the time. But consciously I still know they're there. Which leads back into the beat up myself circle. 

Depression sucks and mental health care in my area sucks (no open spots for me to get into therapy even if I could afford it). It's just frustrating all around because of the negative scripts that I apparently still need to dismantle. ",4.030446271285967,6.7573694961832045,4.103358778625957,83.59165590135059,75.41221374045801,7.6948913681738125,26.87081620669407,8.617729084823388,2.2394035231943628,568,22,101,12,13,175,95,131,0.214,0.742,0.044,-0.9761,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,3,9,9,4,0,4,0,8,3,1,2,2,23,19,6,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,8,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,8,0,1,2,2,14,1,17,12,3,21,0,2,0,0,2,9,2,1,11,70,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024634661639562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705365694654615,0.15967947664613807,0.1165796364153695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19498444673745044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053831060960548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294337233116103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760459681396247,0.0,0.12631384968238227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669794047832787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999162988345432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295407588949994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032818057635748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102037233373217,0.15588814018492853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195558385587349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924357044359306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265667169171316,0.19272743194705733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418038704112977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17946810567159496,0.0,0.18350231056036226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950760764085165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054529717498717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187024346778898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111515023863901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651720937722682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315388239991534
mentalhealth,Virzon,2019/03/04,"I don't understand, but i want to understand For the longest time I have always denied anything being wrong with me, it was probably something to do with me ego when I was younger .

I have now only come to realise and accept Look and my self, for the Past 5 or 6 years or so I have always Kept to my self and Never let anything out to anybody. 

I have for the last 4 years at least I have been  going through Completely random cycles  which I don't understand, forgive me if this is the wrong Reddit but I figured id start somewhere

On a daily Basis I go through cycles where I won't care about anybody or anything that happens around me, but within a moment I find my self in tears over the simplest things like not being able to cross the road in time before the light switched 
And in the same instant turning hyper aggressive to anybody around me for no reason, threatening and yelling at them.

I don't understand any of this, if anybody could offer me advice or send me in the right direction I appreciate this 

* I live in The UK and I'm aged 17.",6.73116883116883,5.888797190476192,7.026883116883115,78.68629870129871,65.19047619047619,9.541125541125544,34.32900432900433,8.575989854853784,2.7078095238095234,830,32,161,10,11,270,118,210,0.146,0.8059999999999999,0.048,-0.9617,0,0,1,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,7,7,1,0,12,0,18,0,0,1,1,37,33,17,0,4,10,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,7,12,0,1,9,0,0,5,7,3,0,0,4,3,27,4,30,24,2,33,0,0,1,0,7,16,0,7,13,118,34,0,0.1212041271926569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843927032881132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017030865689618,0.0,0.0,0.08242296275762666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29922200825588596,0.21579473993732248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313578513516568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357568550454467,0.0,0.0,0.10440662342960964,0.12708022135648095,0.0,0.0,0.0967716330937456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107783764561852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776619726758832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718040939368943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879754056137796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393943188534913,0.0,0.05921421428938928,0.0,0.1070254648736645,0.0,0.10178094080236523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348009488840554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218120039716253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570305393824885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067854889814734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461802927292938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350766237442922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793270148996144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933088586108028,0.0,0.0,0.0857889050611816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052263645917555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135020252761946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183528574433534,0.0,0.504711083602723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148933450888137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26503537228504737,0.0,0.1561029681573321
mentalhealth,Pineapplezilla,2019/03/04,"Worried about mental health Hey, so I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for like a year now that has been bad enough that I cannot go to work or leave the house that much, and it's gotten to a point where I don't know how to act around people. I have never been that great with personal hygeine and have terrible self esteem issues, have sought out zero help until a recent brief stint in a facility where I came out thinking that I have just not been looking after myself all my life and now if I did (because i'm worth it?) it would fix things and now it's only getting worse.

My sibling has, since leaving school, stayed at home unable to work living with a non parent relative and finds going out, etc difficult.  I'm not familiar with my family mental history other than that, and that my mother had some kind of episode when I was born where she was unable to leave the hospital unless it was to move from the household with her and her husband, to one with other family members also present at all times (so when my father was at work) though I am not sure if this is true or exaggerated gossip.

I am starting to feel like I've only ever done things because that is the expected behaviour. I don't really know that I have a good sense of identity and feel as though I've just been acting my entire life (mid 30s).  I'm having memory issues and am starting to worry that reccuring dreams after becoming hard to distinguish from memories of childhood.

I'm originally from the UK and mental health has never really been discussed, I've sort of just been told that as a guy I should cry less so as a kid I tried to cry less.  My sibling and I have not really discussed it much either.

I don't know that I could have gone 30+ years of my life and only now suddenly am not sure how I got that far.  I really feel like I am going insane or something.

I dunno what I am asking for, does anyone know if this is maybe a real thing that could happen to a person,or am I making it all up just to be lazy and not have to interact with people?
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mentalhealth,libby31,2019/03/04,"How do I explain what I’m feeling to someone else? As someone who’s been suffering with mental health issues for some years now, I’ve finally decided to take control and I going to speak to someone tomorrow to help me. How do I explain  how I’m feeling? How do I get help? Does it really work? I’ve been worrying all week about doing this, and I’m scared I won’t be able to be calm and explain my really feelings well",1.8730172413793085,3.7814096781609203,4.248951149425288,83.96928879310343,78.65517241379311,7.5683908045976995,28.11637931034483,8.472884824447931,2.2557137931034483,330,15,66,7,8,115,54,87,0.095,0.746,0.159,0.563,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,1,0,0,9,1,0,5,1,18,21,8,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,2,4,7,2,10,16,2,6,0,1,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,41,11,1,0.1963093723944193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22017765366508976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179165468787205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639912907670602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977797513578498,0.0,0.0,0.2150473219317708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025635447055366,0.0,0.11156714028301062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20866768301516148,0.0,0.0,0.2631640685840128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489598200363107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783367491642376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25152162148926505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19653992821371866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4989968825453985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760021703776874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746753733599933,0.0,0.17650570159043402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291556113647827,0.1993616967502336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264167995664114
mentalhealth,vai_kisaiya,2019/03/04,"I finally did it. Ten years of depression and worsening anxiety - and I just spoke to a doctor today. I've been given a month's worth of Trintellix to try. I don't know how it will work or if it will at all, but I'm proud of myself for finally speaking up. Ten years of putting up with this shit, I don't know what I was thinking. But here I am. 

There's really no point to this post, but I'm proud and wanted to tell somebody. Thanks for reading.",1.6618157894736854,3.1226718526315804,3.698092105263161,89.69976973684211,77.84210526315789,7.697368421052633,23.453947368421048,8.472884824447931,1.3188157894736836,346,11,79,7,8,118,61,95,0.149,0.7140000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.0553,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,3,4,5,1,0,2,0,8,2,1,1,1,16,17,9,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,1,1,1,3,2,0,2,5,2,7,3,14,10,1,12,0,1,0,0,3,4,1,2,6,53,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17010735571564875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152122932522256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275983132088677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4871763663655202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444101660121934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17748830617026093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102052419147543,0.0,0.21296262439699595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235365860231141,0.0,0.0,0.22242352677375388,0.0,0.1424516572896236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282527854759143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19435537079049128,0.20472229914840692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248145738236426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077445751956048,0.0,0.0,0.1509701197571564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311556663000631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16188316865822014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863894165576389
mentalhealth,zwschlei,2019/03/04,What are the best organizations that can link up with employers to recruit people with disabilities? What are the best organizations that can link up with employers to recruit people with disabilities? I know of Lime Connect. Do you know of others?,6.585000000000001,9.80063964285715,7.0478571428571435,63.23464285714289,69.23809523809524,9.914285714285716,31.92857142857143,10.125756701596842,4.088457142857143,203,9,30,6,4,66,23,42,0.0,0.8140000000000001,0.18600000000000005,0.8732,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,10,7,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,26,7,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7645724371171698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003942053381349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5050875852090949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatwhatdb,2019/03/04,"Today, the FDA is expected to approve Esketamine, for treatment resistant depression. Researchers call it 'the most important discovery in half a century'. There is a lot of positive feedback online about using ketamine to treat depression/ptsd/suicidal thoughts.  Many ketamine clinics have recently popped up around the country, where a low dose of ketamine is administered by IV. 

Ketamine is not FDA approved, but esketamine is expected to be approved today.  Esketamine is nearly identical to ketamine, and is administered by nasal spray in a doctors office.

https://www.today.com/video/fda-expected-to-approve-esketamine-nasal-spray-1451599939662",13.624904761904759,17.63439085555556,10.270952380952384,44.32499999999999,51.55555555555557,13.142857142857144,49.52380952380952,12.28987398476788,8.01104761904762,547,33,52,18,7,159,61,90,0.094,0.8440000000000001,0.062,-0.4343,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,7,0,9,5,1,1,0,10,11,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,15,9,2,10,0,2,0,0,1,7,0,2,3,40,1,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076691830319043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382055642357747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092422992615325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23877256832102384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983268150190267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23650990293925606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726925254761298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23033643897324665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551711019655831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519873038598786,0.0,0.0,0.6633681662512664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147952925324414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,127648bluepaper,2019/03/04,"Dating is making me depressed and suicidal and I don’t know what to do anymore. I honestly didn’t know which subreddit to post this in but I think it has a lot to do with mental health and not knowing how to help myself. I go to therapist for this every few months but nothing really helps or I just feel more crazy. 
I’ve been there a lot of verbally, mentally, physically, and sexually abusive situations. I can’t stand up for myself because I’m terrified of being alone and I’m addicted to the feeling love gives me. I find myself fixing men accidentally more than being in a relationship. I date all kinds of different people. I do have a type but I try and switch it up to see if things change. But it’s always I find men that need fixing and I tell myself not to do it and then I stay get wrapped up in mental health drama or ex drama, they get better, they treat me badly, and then leave. This repeats every few months and now after every break up a feel really suicidal and I start hurting and cutting myself. I’ve finally hit the point where I never want to date again or get close to anyone ever again but I feel like I will because I’m scared of being alone. I’ve done all the work outs and the books and the yoga and eating right and the medications. I think my depression and anxiety is stronger than all of it and I could really use some advice or help on how to just stop being in these cycles. I would like to have a healthy relationship even if I tell myself I don’t. I just don’t think I’ll ever get there with my mental health issues and these patterns. 
Any advice or stories? 

I also apologize for spelling and grammar. ",2.418580645161292,4.547198781818185,4.259188660801566,83.48652492668623,77.84848484848484,7.167155425219942,22.4633431085044,8.155646560271837,1.337961876832844,1298,39,253,24,31,439,159,330,0.17600000000000002,0.715,0.109,-0.9748,1,2,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,2,2,15,13,1,1,12,0,23,7,0,4,6,71,50,37,2,6,17,1,4,2,0,2,5,0,0,2,14,24,1,1,12,4,0,1,8,6,0,0,3,5,37,7,35,39,10,37,0,3,1,1,15,14,0,10,20,183,51,3,0.0,0.10347444124821276,0.0,0.09520504844426553,0.0,0.1706801372672871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808997558614924,0.0,0.06983957260197017,0.07266743202497447,0.0,0.0,0.05938892800670211,0.0,0.0668089358741959,0.0,0.08661012987314913,0.06106474312408014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291878487755409,0.10647386386059272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723828237988946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238594572233713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972769915825015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15043828616000146,0.0,0.0,0.09124361853091054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937121775971331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936269916979306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057682130637595,0.15799404864401773,0.22074357380534906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17663124824657306,0.06239018027060799,0.0,0.09566821635374946,0.159640197438716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18250999448409516,0.08377705659426844,0.04963293296882159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27849030899901844,0.0,0.0,0.1756109084991267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349098499958626,0.0,0.0,0.09115218436692077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094310431262324,0.14398656988771294,0.0,0.0,0.09247224803873666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533225673401486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849351998014262,0.07882076962536218,0.0,0.05829495821729697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797805888007561,0.3520414882444646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941554514750207,0.0,0.0,0.06475576034258036,0.06735601875550752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379765383336002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054518931387315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255720905436859,0.0,0.08364015922228872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678418360628227,0.0,0.0,0.18752431691743127,0.0,0.07458126841391904,0.0,0.0,0.0874348222781683,0.0,0.06959250012117227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816511346014477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181421943584381,0.0930845636781396,0.0,0.07301367548257072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105462427985945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266448001993124,0.0,0.0,0.10139947894222597,0.058019669514262,0.16787694763944871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059292868361527765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542702810985515,0.0,0.0,0.0515108265748691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357892160805448,0.0,0.0,0.062038328116845336,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ravi-the-g-23,2019/03/04,"Never knew a sports injury could completely destroy my mental health I’ve been a physical person my whole life and I was planning on playing sports in college,  hurt my knee freshman year and had to sit out the season (ACL and meniscus tear). Rehab sucked but once I got to the other side I was thankful it happened. 

Then it happened again, 12 months of rehab for nothing and only to find out my surgeon made an error.  I’m not sure if we can sue because technically the way he did it was the way they used to do it but it’s an outdated way of doing it. 

We didn’t look for better surgeons because the school I went to recommended him and someone on my team had a successful surgery done by him.

I’m an absolute mess. When I go to the gym and think about how strong and confident I used to be it destroys me inside and I end up barely working out and just overthink and I can’t fucking think about anything else in my life.  My whole life has turned into rehabbing an injury just to feel normal again.  

I’m terrified of having another surgery but it’s necessary for me to ever be happy again but I have zero confidence in my ability to do it.  

My mental health is an absolute mess I can’t even progress towards what I want. ",3.558196405648264,5.0270724105691125,4.8570346598202825,83.30073812580231,72.86178861788619,7.6179717586649565,28.801026957638,8.20500826718156,2.0268731707317067,967,39,188,15,19,321,139,246,0.106,0.7190000000000001,0.175,0.9649,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,1,7,11,14,4,0,14,0,22,12,1,4,3,39,43,18,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,10,0,0,1,11,16,0,0,5,5,0,2,5,7,0,1,13,2,27,7,30,27,2,29,0,1,1,1,8,12,2,1,11,134,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510514695207695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602840195547462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708535110979738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139528731919457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509146137793093,0.0,0.0,0.1028721951773365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318531009570199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763340890305427,0.0,0.11411836786225853,0.0,0.0,0.08510086339903558,0.11654761884568735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514786972534185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776193497932892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911506482406725,0.0,0.0,0.07322554493020514,0.0,0.1030490635138448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278742983215617,0.13715782755288095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27391227846027905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793116612626566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27302096074610804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819729369877253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191619140037475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596907765951976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284279665258153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937315573914306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624067844223902,0.1236301886425909,0.0,0.0,0.13721564911408982,0.0,0.09799237788776097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250242613530273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303979513860026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091698940212792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143482498917835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186231038870341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511726168913274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014628887385935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22256130780260752,0.0,0.0,0.07599608002451758,0.30681333287889045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944054417952035,0.0,0.2877015338285496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380064611029816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297191281501941
mentalhealth,syed_imran02,2019/03/04,"Shutting down Ever since the beginning of the year i've become lazy. Not just lazy but my brain feels like its slowly deteriorating. I'm beginning to sleep early, i get tired easily, ive not been doing my homework, studying in class is harder and and since a few weeks ago, every now and then my brain will feel as if it getting poked at from the sides and sometimes it feels as its being pressed against my skull. Last year i was very much active but right now i dont know whats happened to me :/

Any comments would be appreciated, love you guys",6.453611111111113,6.129305287037043,6.617037037037036,79.68166666666667,65.57407407407408,9.051851851851852,30.037037037037038,8.344100000000001,1.9574703703703704,433,13,87,5,6,139,82,108,0.086,0.746,0.16899999999999998,0.9204,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,10,6,4,0,1,16,21,10,0,2,6,0,4,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,10,2,10,15,2,18,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,13,54,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507863231957087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664046453830338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567263328155247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4157809178628588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182561719807096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845260881209814,0.1569039306866531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282485272264075,0.1330403103286632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194591410049872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18439359875362127,0.164679555076615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234526148150637,0.1517995230131066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098090330640317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807676473796582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368979682983782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590364870153696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30809711288954617,0.0,0.18636107672591487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18418285546682506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140400656989162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365643676873095,0.0,0.0,0.14937973436500612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229002367260034,0.0,0.0,0.2398476315560894
mentalhealth,am4nwithnoplan,2019/03/04,"I made a tshirt to spread the message Seeing that Keith Flint of the Prodigy took his own life, and reflecting on my own bad times, I felt that the phrase ""Stiff Upper Lips Don't Fix Shit"" really needed to get taken on board.


https://shop.spreadshirt.co.uk/clothesbyslinky/

They're available here, I feel the need to point out that I get nothing in return! ",6.164999999999999,8.347019250000002,4.52075,85.44925000000002,67.4375,6.995000000000001,23.7375,7.554174236665415,1.0360975000000003,288,7,50,3,5,82,51,64,0.062,0.889,0.048,-0.2187,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,5,0,1,4,2,1,0,9,11,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,3,6,0,8,7,2,9,0,0,1,0,2,6,1,0,2,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405525707753528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567268542776998,0.0,0.2766224504819141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30104210073623205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20349448466301656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726084379012348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272469610972719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764409896353446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723488728921443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845650848240045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295794538943992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957318680191027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799419834010948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200911705694486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sleuthtoes,2019/03/04,Finally worked up the courage to try and make an appointment and the university counseling center has an absurd wait time for new clients. Can't afford anything else but I need help. Where do I go from here? Pretty much what it says in the title. The university counseling center has about a month and a half wait time for intake appointments and I don't think I can wait that long for help. Options off of campus are just too expensive and I don't have applicable insurance. I'm lost and desperate and don't know where to go from here. Does anyone have any wisdom or advice for this situation?,4.0189473684210535,6.257932649122813,4.899859649122806,80.23768421052634,73.3859649122807,8.770526315789473,25.43508771929825,9.3871,2.335378245614036,478,16,89,12,10,155,75,114,0.049,0.7959999999999999,0.155,0.9268,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,8,0,11,0,0,1,0,18,22,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,3,2,0,1,2,4,1,0,1,1,1,5,2,13,21,1,15,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,2,6,58,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22179550659813954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434950527300215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158704883337195,0.0,0.1867795389208924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19862570741416788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18960691773736887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486379592991705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579881101110685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30427059674965873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473849124209938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086406933603032,0.0,0.0,0.24776797316907986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150632050025736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18116777944244447,0.0,0.16685135953005634,0.16829769298624858,0.0,0.21921205427009746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309132619974685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049813556441305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551272973967737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543521093116005,0.0,0.0,0.2646997038256545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409985000548013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16523913506044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,icecoldcoca,2019/03/04,"Anyone else feel your memories a little too strongly? When I was 2 years old, my mom took my newborn sister on a business trip for about a week while my dad took me to visit my granddad. I've always had pretty bad separation anxiety, so when my mom left without me I was miserable. I remember begging her in our kitchen to stay home. 

A couple days ago, I was talking to my mom and that memory came up again. I started bawling. I had had a pretty rough day, but even as I think about it now I have this really sinking sadness. I've been told by my mom and my friends that this isn't normal. This is true for pretty much every memory in which I felt some sort of strong emotion.

Does anyone else get this? Does anyone know what the cause might be? I was thinking maybe hyperthymesia, but I can't remember dates for shit, much less even how old I was when something happened. ",2.9122413793103448,4.7962576954023,4.056988505747128,86.63686206896553,75.4942528735632,6.938850574712642,25.393103448275863,7.793537801064563,1.4096924137931035,685,24,136,10,15,223,111,174,0.07200000000000001,0.7909999999999999,0.136,0.8849,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,1,1,0,2,12,8,1,1,6,0,15,2,1,2,1,20,27,11,0,1,3,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,9,3,1,0,7,0,0,5,3,4,0,0,14,3,25,4,16,11,4,27,0,2,0,0,15,6,1,3,15,90,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222505621463407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656949584915957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959020617186865,0.0,0.0,0.21824126210734526,0.2132022576173042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686893521452185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189938803769109,0.0,0.10687759268843294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151181233874732,0.0,0.1341942020920825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209196071567016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738239015761439,0.1170308362378514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743468923150556,0.0,0.08765806709532623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05260567796952829,0.0,0.09989457877062856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038093577599899,0.0,0.05435653142555976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200210233714898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436045990362927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057177584771607864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303960952490567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427526940597352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452202070561736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036984746133634,0.0,0.48740089441468604,0.0,0.0,0.15296253239542154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101936970537717,0.0,0.0,0.21834465799065347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31753781406070203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665059676877055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357137542424723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067954185690755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009496518473913,0.0,0.0,0.07363994658612955,0.1108926450873625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362329645039109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332907940426553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941454231391246,0.23118421947695866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345449805078449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002907099010396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699825711054416
mentalhealth,the_cakes_not_a_lie,2019/03/04,"I might be the real American Psycho So I’m just going to leave my life’s story here for everyone. I might need serious help, I’m not sure.  

Lately I’ve been having something happen that concerns me where I mutter stuff out of nowhere, like I say things I didn’t mean to say. It never happens when I’m around people, only when I’m alone and I can stop if I catch myself. The stuff I say is usually weird and bad. Some specific stuff: “N-word” (And I’m not racist or anything), “Stupid, idiot. I could kill him.” “I hate him/I hate it.”,”I love you”,  “I could I would. I could and I will.“, and (this is actually real) I say stuff like “slice, dice, chop, tear” a lot. There are no conscious streams of thought connecting to these words. I don’t know why I say them. 

Another thing that’s been more recent is some particularly violent dreams. One where I basically kept tearing someone’s head off, it regrowing so I could do it again, and screaming at them because they had been trying to push me around. Another time I just kind of shot down a bunch of people who were ninjas or something, but I remember specifically in the dream they were supposed to be “good guys” and I just wanted to kill them. The most disturbing one, which I woke up from immediately because it was so disgusting, was where my youngest brother (Who I love and am proud of to put it out there) slipped on the sidewalk, and when I went to pick him up I asked if he was alright he said “No.” in a very vivid about-to-cry way and I was horrified to see that his entire face was embedded deeply with staples. The dream was so realistic and gory. I immediately started to freak out and tried to help him pull the staples out but then I woke up with one of those really scared “What the fuck was that” feelings. 
This is a recent thing that is pretty infrequent. And at first it was crazy to me because my first thought was: I’m not violent. I don’t fight people. I don’t want to fight anyone. I don’t want to kill anybody. But I started analyzing myself a bit more and I realized I may have been putting off, basically my whole life, some pretty fucked up stuff that’s happened to me and that I’ve done to other people. 
So I guess I’ll start with where I am now and then go backward. Currently I consider myself well-adjusted. I just graduated college with a degree in Finance, I have IT experience in the reserves, and I’m staying with some family in the city (I grew up in a small town) working part time stocking shelves while I look for something full time in finance/IT. I have some good friends, but none who live near me right now and none who I would open up to about this sort of thing. I’ve had one girlfriend a year ago (More on that later.) But other than that I don’t do very good with girls, I don’t have a girlfriend right now. I spend a LOT of time by myself. In college I was the same way. I used to get very lonely, every once in awhile I still do, but for the most part I’m fine with it. I spend a lot of time learning, at least recently. Now that I’m older suddenly I found out I have more ability to concentrate on things and absorb info. Since I’m out of college I have more time to learn whatever I enjoy, so for the first time I feel like I’m some sort of superhuman hopping across Wikipedia pages and tutorials. I like computer science, finance/economics, history, current events, anatomy and physiology, and whatever other subjects I stumble across. 
Now the unnormal stuff: Up until now I’ve liked to pretend this stuff just isn’t a part of me. I completely ignore it. So I work out a lot, which is something that I feel like really helps my emotional health over all. I work out roughly 2 hours a day 6 days a week, and I’m very proud of how I look and feel now. I started working out in high school because I got picked on and was rejected by girls, so at first it was really hate and envy that motivated me. I don’t necessarily feel that way now, but everytime I workout its still the same: I fantasize about a bonfire, or a party where there is a group of people from high school or college (Never the army, because I actually like people in the reserves and feel like I belong there.) And I take on and fight the biggest douchebag or multiple douchebags from whichever place and I just like stand there in my awesomeness. Sometimes It’s just that, sometimes I’m also rich and I have a “posse” or bodyguards who I don’t need. Sometimes I monologue basically about how I got to where I was and how the things I had overcome. Narcissistic and ridiculous I know. Like I said before, even though this scenario runs through my head at least 2 hours a day six days a week I just pretend like that’s normal. And if I don’t run that sort of fantasy through my head I can’t work out as effectively. 
The other thing is sexual. WARNING - NSFW ….. So when I had a girlfriend for a few months I’d have sex and it was fine. Normal sex, the weirdest we’d ever do is tie each other’s hands. She liked being spanked. So that was normal, and for the most part the relationship was normal. But for as long as a I can remember, even in high school, the only way I can orgasm when masturbating is through BDSM porn. Usually pretty intense stuff. I don’t like blood or cuts, but I like seeing physical pain. Usually a woman dominating a man. Over time it’s gotten darker. When I stop I just go about my life and I act normal, but now that I think about it it’s pretty odd to orgasm to the sounds of people screaming in pain. This has become normal for me. So when I at first thought “I don’t want to hurt anybody, what’s going on?” I started to analyze and realize “Oh, yeah. That stuff.” 

So how did it get this way? I guess I’ll go back to childhood. I was homeschooled until sixth grade. 5th/6th grade are I think when problems started at home. My dad was a serious alcoholic. He still is but he’s at least mellow. Back then he wasn’t. Some examples:
8th grade summer: This is the only time he ever hit me when I was being kind of shitty because I didn’t want to go dig a fucking ditch to find a leaking pipe. For context: We had all been digging that stupid ditch for days and couldn’t find anything. I knew he didn’t know what he was doing and the pipe probably wasn’t even on that side of the house. We never found that pipe but I wound up digging that ditch again. He was drunk midday, smacked me across the face. I cried and tried to kind of get at him and yelled “I’ll kill you. I hate you” and he just kind of forced me back in the chair and I think he realized he went too far, but he just said “You’re not big enough or strong enough yet.” …fuck that kind of explains a lot. I’m kind of starting to cry while I write this. 

Another time he showed up to one of my cross country meets, I think 9th grade, totally drunk out of his mind. Another time he hit my mom and she being an idiot made him drive us to church on a Wednesday night so she could have “couple’s therapy” and her jaw hurt so she claimed she couldn’t drive. He was drunk Mom. He was drunk. We were swerving all over across the road there were cars beeping at us going the wrong way, they were screaming at each other, my little brothers were in front of me crying and I just was in the very back seat trying to meditate or something. I just tried to stay calm. I feel like I was the only one in the car that realized what mortal peril we were in and I guess I was getting ready to die or something. The next morning, like every time something like that happened, we all pretended like it didn’t. 
Last one: One time he was wasted in the middle of the day. I was just in the bathroom on the toilet. He tried the knob and saw it was locked and a split second later he kicked the door in so hard it flew against the opposite wall so I was just sitting on the toilet freaked out. He just muttered “Oh thought it was locked.” I was shaking. Like what the fuck. I actually did keep a knife under my mattress at one point, to prepare for something crazy like that. Now my relationship with my dad now is pretty mellow, but we never really came to terms with any of that stuff. We act like it never happened. He won’t even admit he did most of it. In my family we do very poorly with emotions. My brothers and I are very close for instance but we can’t say I love you to one another. I have a hard time saying it to anyone but my Mom. 

So I went into public school in 6th grade because my dad was first starting to get worse and my mom and him would fight all the time, very loudly, and divorce was on the table (But it never happened…they’ve just slept in a separate room all this time) and my mom felt like she didn’t have the energy to homeschool anymore. So I went into school with absolutely no social skills at all. I was a stand out weirdo and I remember for stuff like gym class I would literally just stand there. I had no confidence. I couldn’t muster whatever it took to try to catch the ball, and I always felt like there was so much pressure to try to impressed the other kids and be good. So they weren’t very impressed by me. I walked around with my arms folded behind my back for some reason. I didn’t really understand the social suicide I was committing. I’d say the next six years were just a really slow stumbling through trying to understand other humans and particularly the kids my age. 
In 7th grade my Mom started to just “check out.” Because her mom died who she had had serious unresolved issues with. So she went into a really depressed state for a couple years, and I think that made things harder. 
In 9th grade there was a girl I became obsessed with. We had been friends awhile, so I let her know I had feelings for her. She had a boyfriend who was VERY important to her at the time. So that whole cliché played out, except for the part where I mercilessly ripped into her via SMS, calling her every name in the book and taunting her, then asked for forgiveness, then did it again, eventually admitted my BDSM fantasies to her even though she really didn’t want to hear it, stalked her, grabbed her butt without her permission, came to her house uninvited only not to be let in, etc. 
And I had an unrequited psychotic obsession with her pretty much through all of high school. But for the last two years of high school she had stopped responding to me at all. So I look back on that and I feel pretty terrible. And I know if she wanted to report me to the police she could have ruined my life entirely, but for some reason she never did, so that makes me feel double shitty. 
But that didn’t stop me from about eight other counts of butt/boob grabbing, verbal assault, and uncomfortable pressuring of other girls that wanted nothing to do with me. One was a teacher. For whatever reason nobody ever reported me. By tenth grade I had gotten good enough at pretending to be a good kid that everyone seemed to think I was. I guess. 
So I never really though anything of any of that until my National Guard active training, where we had SHARP briefings on sexual harassment and stuff. And everyone makes fun of those briefings because we see them so often but they really played on something in the pit of my stomach that told me: “You’ve actually put girls into those positions. You’ve done awful stuff.” 
So yeah. After that I went to college. I didn’t really like college anymore than high school. I thought the other people were stupid. I came to study finance because I was passionate about it, I watched college lectures on Corporate Finance in 9th grade ffs, so the other kids there who didn’t seem to know why they were there just didn’t impress me. So I spent a lot of time in my dorm room alone. There were entire weeks where I didn’t speak to anyone. At one point I met a cute girl, we’ll call her Karen. 
Karen was very sweet, Karen was a passionate libertarian, thinker, and studied economics. I met her at at an economics association meeting. She basically at one point obliterated an argument I was making so I immediately thought “I want here number.” I got it and we hit it off. It was the first time I had a very wholesome reciprocated friendship with a girl. Karen was smart but a little naïve, and came from a good home. I think the song “Uptown Girl” could be her theme song. Unfortunately, a friendship was all it was, because Karen had a boyfriend in her hometown in another state. And he was VERY important to her at the time. But she didn’t have any other friends same as me, so we hung out a lot. Like a lot, a lot. We went on walks, lunch dates, dinner dates, whatever. We really clicked. But then my feelings kept growing for her and it felt like a repeat of high school. She reciprocated some of those feelings, but it was still all about the boy back home. I knew how to control myself better by then but it was rough. I didn’t want to lose this valuable friend but I was also extremely attracted to her, and she kept putting me in that position because she was lonely too.   
Eventually the bad thing happened. I decided I was being played for a bitch. I couldn’t accept this insult to my pride. So I figured I’d take what I wanted the way I always had, but this time it wouldn’t be just a cheap thrill. We were in her dorm room and we were talking and I forced myself on her. It started with an attempt at a kiss, she resisted, so I basically just started to force her against me. She resisted lightly but didn’t say anything. But that was it, I couldn’t go through with what I was planning to do. So I let go and we had a really long awkward silence staring at each other across the room. It was weird because this was the first time a girl I tried to do something like this to actually liked me in some way so I could tell it was scary and confusing for her, and it actually was for me too. I think she knew what I almost did. I can’t remember how I left, but later we texted, made up, and pretty shortly after became friends again, and I just went along with it and didn’t try anything again after that. So that was also weird. I still had feelings for her, and I don’t know how it would have turned out but at some point she dropped out of school to go home. She hadn’t told me until the day she was leaving, which was a shock to me. I guess she was embarrassed. So I offered one more long walk and we did, and it was a really good time. I felt like I was being mature, doing everything right for once. And we hugged before she left and she said “I’ll see you” and I just said “You won’t. You’re leaving.” And she had this kind of weird look and so far I’ve never seen her again. I tried texting her once asking if she would want to meet up again sometime, but she cited her boyfriend and said she couldn’t do that. I didn’t reply, just deleted the number immediately and never found her again. 

When I had my first real girlfriend it lasted four months, and was a relatively normal relationship, I mean any actual relationship would seem normal relative to my sexually-tense friend zone. I met her in my national guard unit, but she was also a 29 year old stripper with 2 kids. I had frequented strip clubs and wasn’t afraid to date a stripper. Started casual then got more serious. But she turned out to be batshit insane. Compulsive liar…the lies aren’t even worth getting into they were just pointless. Stuff she made up to get attention, and I believed most of them. So she played me like a fiddle and I dumped her when she went on a trip to San Diego without me. Later she tried to claim she was pregnant and just made the whole thing uglier and stupider than it needed to be, but the whole relationship experience was pretty meh in general. 

So now I am where I am. I think I covered a lot of the important points. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or not. I think I’ve just been repressing everything for a very long time, at least since I stopped venting my anger by harassing women. I don’t express emotions usually, everything just rolls off my shoulders for the most part. A few times I just get randomly sad, especially when I’m drunk but it does happen when I’m sober: I’ll just go through fits of crying. Not for any reason. Like, it could be a perfectly normal day and then at night I’ll cry until I fall asleep. It doesn’t happen often, and when it does I just wake up the next morning like it didn’t happen at all. When people reach out to me for empathy I don’t have a response. When my Mom is crying to me about something I feel bad because I want to offer more support but I just feel incapable of it. I wouldn’t call myself “dead inside” because I have plenty of interest in the world around me and I’m not that bad with people anymore, but when it comes to genuine connections I’m pretty lost. I am very alone with my thoughts and feelings most of the time. I have some reddit forums I go to where I like the communities and I feel like a have a strong voice there, but not anywhere in real life. 
Really all I look forward to though is someday being extremely affluent and powerful, and just kind of rubbing in everyone’s face how great I am. Like some grand revenge on all the people who thought I was just some loser they could push around. If I let go of that fantasy I wouldn’t have much in life to be proud of, or much reason to get up in the morning. I try to learn and grow every day and keep myself focused which sounds really nice, but really it’s just because I have delusions of dominating people with power attained through knowledge. I always think it would be nice to live a modest life with a family, and sometimes I think about meeting a girl I actually like and respect like Karen but I haven’t met another one yet, and I feel pretty inhuman most of the time. Like I’ll have to put on a mask and pretend to be someone else to meet a Karen again, and maybe I’m too far gone to be happy that way. So I don’t think about relationships as much as I used too. I’ve partly given up. I feel completely fine each day, and feel like I’m building towards something, getting better all the time, but for all the wrong reasons. 
The only period in my life where I started to wake up to the idea that I needed a better philosophy was pretty recently at the tail end of college. So my whole life through the military and different internships I would save roughly 75% of the money I made (I also made a small profit going to college off full merit scholarship + military aid.) So I had, I think about $17,000 after a couple of years of playing the stock market and doing pretty well. I started looking into cryptocurrency and didn’t think too much of Bitcoin but got super into learning about Ethereum which uses the blockchain concept for a decentralized virtual machine, which turns out is kind of a really powerful thing. So in mid 2017 I shifted everything I had into Ethereum plus a couple other crypto platforms I thought had potential. I wound up making over $75,000 in the big crypto bubble. But I only ever cashed out $6000 to reward myself because I genuinely believed (and still do) that what I had invested in has a long way to go still. So, the market crashed and I now have lost all profits with some extra money to boot. My portfolio is only about $10,000 altogether now, not including my IRA which I never count because I wouldn’t touch it. 
So a few months ago I had gotten very depressed about that whole ordeal, and wasn’t sure what to do. I started meditating and just getting out of my own head more, going for walks without the fantasies. I kind of accepted my own mortality, the fact I might not ever achieve the things I want to, and humbled myself. It worked for a while but it didn’t stick. Now I feel fine about the whole thing, I’ve accepted the volatility of the market and I love keeping up on the new things happening in the field every day. But whether I someday have a really well paying career or start an amazing business or get rich on investments, which are all things I feel are totally possible it doesn’t really answer the question of what the hell I’m supposed to do with my funked up emotional well being. When I came here to write this I felt like I might be in danger of being the next big school shooter, but now I think I might be ok. I just wish I could connect with people IRL and I think maybe all the hate and anger would start to go away. 

This brain dump was really therapeutic though. 
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mentalhealth,Flashytag,2019/03/04,"Brother says I should get help, I don't really think so ​

First off, I hope it's okay for me to post here, I just needed to talk about this. also it's taken me hours on how to word this because i simply forgot... and/or I've been thinking of other things... just now i was stuck on ""forgot"".

​

Tl;dr My brother pointed a few things out about me and we talked about them and myself. he says i should see someone to talk about it, but i think it's not important and can be delayed or ignored.

​

He says that i have a weird, maybe blank look while i'm pacing around the house, doing anything like making tea or even in the middle of a conversation. He also pointed out how i'm pretty forgetful. Some of his examples of me being forgetful are that I forget important dates, forget that i am cooking, or even to eat. 

There were more discussed but i feel it'd be too long.

​

I did my best to listen to him and after he was done talking, i explained that i get so... engrossed in thoughts that it's the only thing that's going on. How i do things but i'm not 100% there, i can see what i'm doing, but i'm thinking of something else. A sort of auto pilot, i guess.

I moved onto the topic of me forgetting and just said that's just a thing everyone does. Every now and then i have a sudden realization about my life, but i can never remember what it's about.

​

He's worried that i'll forget something important that could have an effect on my health or be in my thoughts while crossing the street. He wants me to speak to someone that could maybe help me with these and other stuff that aren't mentioned. 

I don't think i need help because in my mind, it's not too serious. it's just how things are with me. I will say that sometimes it's overwhelming having my head clouded with thoughts and not being 100%, but i calm down after a while. ",3.6310497549943466,4.850111124010558,4.477846777233321,87.06722625329814,72.3245382585752,6.891858273652471,25.6729174519412,7.1686216300943375,1.0973798718431964,1472,46,299,14,28,475,171,379,0.085,0.8270000000000001,0.08800000000000001,0.7113,0,0,2,0,0,0,68.0,1,0,1,3,29,9,0,1,13,1,33,6,1,6,1,75,66,30,0,8,19,2,1,1,0,3,2,7,0,0,36,15,3,4,12,1,0,3,8,4,0,1,14,11,45,5,42,41,4,37,0,1,3,0,30,18,0,8,16,222,81,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087061981542539,0.0,0.3682104961094144,0.4129360663986916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593096106489319,0.0605049438097559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286397318783227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132706006186214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085320656919816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05947828531996684,0.06955372824546971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954709859776881,0.05677761704987785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978298247594194,0.0,0.057265038003887374,0.06494527808323995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034366102835342104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057812603721181785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101979181126944,0.0,0.038627151092655146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487319433158489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975363976977812,0.07224562805441309,0.0,0.0,0.1366703253336926,0.0,0.0,0.06750645968502553,0.06693369785594444,0.07842466810339392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800702592814988,0.033205190352266725,0.0,0.0,0.06014856073784253,0.057075071486356536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04536842826544352,0.0,0.13656375702286996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862718586391905,0.0,0.0,0.07223805006634622,0.0,0.1007931786116248,0.05242025723329877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169188416702026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285013637994856,0.0,0.06509349487209617,0.06914676383058171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04354133148743502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699323942458826,0.0,0.06465207867318849,0.21620000243848475,0.0,0.0,0.10832162664192307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517625427433713,0.10464846824049297,0.0672209942212074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778058305474059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21851685340195284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709250983109725,0.2177522004565075,0.0,0.16187436111675024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040088633937166766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902367814506076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129360663986916,0.0
mentalhealth,Easleyaspie,2019/03/04,Any stress relieving techniques? I *think* I have generalized anxiety. I had my first therapy appointment but I would like to work on some mental techniques. Any advice?,3.197142857142854,4.304963714285717,3.896428571428572,73.36107142857145,126.14285714285714,8.542857142857143,28.5,7.6454224807358475,4.1891285714285695,136,7,19,5,8,43,23,28,0.114,0.6990000000000001,0.187,0.4784,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,5,2,2,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,13,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181682535903123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44283234848592506,0.0,0.2490797440364391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27695145239792057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590695644769985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32812378551895954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729686615702615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723469463778007,0.0,0.0,0.2086285145367956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370374757961618,0.0,0.0,0.2312937735887631,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BeatyMyMeaties,2019/03/04,"Anxiety is ruining my life. Help Hey all. I'm a highschool senior who has been struggling with a fear of ALS. I acknowledge that I have health anxiety, and have had fears like this in the past. This one feels different. It started with muscle facilitations. They came out of the blue. I wasn't fearing ALS before that. That's never happened before. Usually I'll see a disease and then the physical symptoms will set in. This time they came first which scared me. Of course I made the golden mistake, consulting Dr. Google. After I found out muscle facilitations were a symptom of ALS, my quality of life has rapidly deteriorated. The facillations are widespread, and now include some minor cramps.Also feel weaker, like i can't do things I normally could. Worrying about this has made me isolate, caused my grades to slip, and made me lose all of my motivation. Life seems pointless if I have ALS. It's hard to convince myself I don't have It when it really feels like I do. My mom doesn't want to take me to a GP as we don't have insurance and we can't really stomach the cost right now. I'm sure she'd budge if i told her I really need to consult a medical professional. I know this isn't a substitute for a therapist. I've been speaking to mine but it hasn't been enough. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you! Quick recap: The facilitationsare widespread, and somewhat intense. They don't prevent sleep or impact me too much. Some minor cramps here and there. When I press my lips to a glass there is some minor tremors but only when they're in a certain position. Feeling sorta weak. Can't tell if it's perceived or not. I've been looking for muscle waste but I can't tell if there is any. I know ALS is very rare especially at my age. But my brain won't listen to any kind of reasoning.",2.2439568764568776,4.8413627954545495,3.752727272727274,84.23306526806526,81.55681818181819,6.905710955710956,24.082459207459213,8.055295364500962,1.6171553613053615,1432,53,276,29,39,472,188,352,0.095,0.823,0.08199999999999999,-0.1065,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,2,1,3,3,12,17,0,5,17,0,38,14,4,6,5,59,63,22,0,10,11,1,6,3,0,3,10,2,0,0,17,15,0,1,12,0,1,2,14,9,0,2,14,11,39,8,28,43,9,26,0,2,3,0,19,7,0,12,19,180,56,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921945702222476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119801850616204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714316091962826,0.0,0.1553489807965096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17279871063479024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334735951126085,0.0,0.23225945661777495,0.0,0.10430507654596974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106795038553798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608313811234664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049134633232123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34276748715198296,0.2053578913724216,0.07253708497168987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636616764355556,0.0,0.1113285937906513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978763541803693,0.0,0.09095599415631228,0.0,0.0,0.10792764245930858,0.0,0.0,0.06805720246629804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573374938975348,0.1116026700508139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21515288617903933,0.14881556193685055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526436927199899,0.1135924147798517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882264465709605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228648009909316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891732008948967,0.0,0.0,0.14928076361787815,0.07528739410597574,0.07831054878558652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948337389855492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688031807164134,0.07722243328308043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692726201111723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951390021873192,0.10439555364798624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671088592423032,0.0,0.0,0.1016548935356088,0.0,0.08091076308461863,0.09243423766322413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160897268270172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718674520289664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614710175374187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569614365017466,0.2110688246153384,0.0763421686635165,0.0,0.17749325793471835,0.09348038003772656,0.0,0.11789070953498056,0.06745577075320694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592062510425661,0.0,0.0,0.0970216598727475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182716795915056,0.08377754067775348,0.059888354032910186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311437600702618,0.0,0.07212800890452266,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pomegranate_Panic,2019/03/04,"How to get someone who hurt you out of your head and trusting yourself again? I had an ex-best friend that controlled and manipulated me and then blamed everything she did on me. This was at a time that I was severely depressed and had a poor grasp on reality. After she blamed me for these actions I believed it too for nearly a month until I replayed these memories in my head of her carrying out these actions and lying to me to justify them. 

Even though I’m doing much better now and have a rational grasp on what happened, I find her accusations still getting in my head and controlling my understanding of myself. I’m constantly worried I’m unknowingly hurting people or controlling them and feel guilty at random moments for no particular reason. I feel like in this way she’s still controlling me. How do I move on? ",8.337500000000002,7.6712663397435925,8.580384615384617,68.2771153846154,61.884615384615394,11.902564102564106,38.730769230769226,11.20814326018867,4.432707692307692,663,30,116,16,8,219,96,156,0.219,0.716,0.066,-0.9757,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,2,5,9,7,0,0,5,0,8,3,3,8,0,27,17,14,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,4,7,0,1,3,1,3,0,0,5,2,25,4,23,12,1,27,0,3,0,0,11,12,0,3,12,92,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791754922744868,0.1377795239468015,0.11611429831311565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187658066061473,0.5890063323021846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307887422315607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671503194811722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799393205860195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276715132948508,0.09379276416479017,0.0,0.0,0.11999560928215375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014334219811726,0.0,0.1371859866097248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609827603307818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4042206396577145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810948091371712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414108916490223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479348905716736,0.13953924555917768,0.0965123940520631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101914176234416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498678016878907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831900450975616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124059697771622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096948534981736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289906058321532,0.0,0.0765555707578277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667629894431282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421095979543578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333301766207051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BrinkleyG59,2019/03/04,"I don't know if there is something actually wrong with me (Anxiety, PTSD, Depression?) Hello, this is an alt account because my parents may have my main and I do not want to worry them. This is my very first text post in my two years of reddit so I'm sorry about the formatting. My name is Evan, I am 16 and suffered emotional and sometimes physical abuse from my father. This included:

Yelling at me for the most simple thing

Throwing me into a wall completely busted my upper lip and then him telling my mother it wasn't him but in fact me and my little sister ran into each other while playing

Grabbing my throat and lifting me up Darth Vader style in a fit of anger

And many many more things.

I constantly felt like I was walking around on eggshells in the presence of this man. I never knew when he was going to erupt. My parents finally divorced when I was in maybe 4-5-6th grade? I don't exactly remember. My parents told me the news and at first I was scared and hurt, but shortly after a strong feeling of relief came over me. I knew I wasn't supposed to feel that way but it was a feeling of a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I cannot exactly pinpoint when I felt my mental health began to decline so I will jump into my symptoms.

I have a stepfather, he is the only one who I've ever considered my Dad. This man probably is the most important figure in my life. I look up to him in every way. I'm a teenager, I make mistakes, dumb mistakes, so naturally like every parent he gets mad at me and sometimes yells. I cannot stand it when a man yells. There have been many occasions where a Male teacher will get mad at another student and yell. That's when my anxiety skyrockets, it's like my brain is begging me to cover my ears and run. Is this a PTSD response? I do not know what it is that causes this. Next, my anxiety.

On occasions my anxiety has crippled me to the point of feelings of extreme dread. This feeling of this overencumbering weight pressing down on my heart. This has happened on so many occasions. And it only gets worse in the summer, without school to preoccupy my worries, I assume my brain decides to find whatever it can to worry about. My brain gets hung up on things that might not even be possible and just worries and worries and worries about them. And these are where my questions about depression come in.

What does depression feel like? My brain just constantly feels clouded to the point where concentration is quite hard. I wonder if I am depressed? Now for my questions on what to do.

My mother, a specialist in a field that is plagued with abused kids in every way possible. And the kids that do not make it out alive. Shes told me shes had anxiety like mine before. I've asked about medication and shes said that medication is simply a bandaid and does nothing to heal my mental scars. But doesn't a bandaid make the healing of a wound easier? Shes offered to sign me up for a therapist but I don't want to be a financial burden on my family. My mother has given me a book that illustrates what to do to rid yourself of anxiety. She said that she read that to help her recover after the divorce.

Well, what do I do? Would it be wise to get a psychological evaluation done? Maybe a therapist? I'm lost in a world that I will be forcibly thrown into when I turn 18. To start a new chapter. A chapter of adulthood. I want to get better before then.

I'm leaving out some details about my mental health so please, if you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask. Sorry if I've made a typo anywhere, typing on mobile. If something isn't clear please ask me. I need your help.",3.1314099462365586,5.064642468055553,4.4265322580645154,84.01040322580647,75.0138888888889,7.422939068100359,27.585125448028673,8.259297600419973,1.952316308243728,2867,115,557,50,62,945,309,720,0.14400000000000002,0.745,0.111,-0.9779,4,0,2,0,5,0,73.0,0,2,2,6,29,28,4,2,37,0,63,22,9,5,6,98,113,44,0,12,18,10,14,5,0,6,11,7,0,6,41,32,2,0,22,3,1,8,16,17,1,4,25,22,91,11,87,78,6,88,0,7,1,0,52,50,1,15,30,386,132,6,0.0,0.12637562457697782,0.05204278476050808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03626650590845198,0.05592158227521672,0.2447856948027907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047475369418370036,0.1495701959372676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032509721444712134,0.0,0.0907604977019883,0.0,0.0,0.0471664116242817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381374889814025,0.0,0.060995778849227425,0.0,0.05478501908595963,0.0,0.045939423903335656,0.05591591765785865,0.1152624491643384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373360749206924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333959806045918,0.05457552284093122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05998953041192896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03522423121266579,0.048240406848241935,0.13479950543577846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050275161949051766,0.0,0.1887581951807617,0.03809925380633312,0.10241110913653803,0.05842085469622847,0.04874302633467531,0.09072563482848438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717762086635102,0.0,0.03030889960775913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715990326599692,0.0,0.04777357000107145,0.0,0.0,0.11337545875688855,0.0,0.0631967897171669,0.07149249604183765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057091304283045125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586179945525781,0.0,0.0,0.05646920128759046,0.0,0.0,0.0376688440168205,0.13027271651866024,0.053451078761227684,0.0,0.0,0.04478411073175389,0.0,0.05821643967674785,0.0,0.0,0.05046252109473997,0.10679538346181178,0.21627465085022268,0.10715512494659787,0.0,0.0,0.1074495499170596,0.1612335220800411,0.0565751346712188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039543821447753084,0.04113169801432932,0.0515068399301242,0.05671749344478572,0.0,0.0,0.05117196436882991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03613806435453965,0.08112035619691559,0.0,0.0,0.23686842540363945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756223179920042,0.10082894608293587,0.12024404293285768,0.0510757885422125,0.0,0.057499199339131564,0.0,0.12468078504087556,0.0,0.17922678506385725,0.056723452994123985,0.053344839511048237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041295560727315,0.0,0.10145886023218603,0.0,0.05339304151773532,0.05397321961049061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211270643280698,0.10549027343472593,0.11939805004453945,0.037747536950715616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055430713287987037,0.0,0.0,0.04661312682751887,0.0,0.0,0.12384142720195895,0.10629105918570997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191897966801954,0.0,0.0,0.05800816919732705,0.05209605896053095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044003171437036144,0.09436696834042448,0.12699358555012155,0.0,0.12988413818964184,0.04795044110775873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140860977370743,0.05783455206007915,0.0,0.3249577054914701,0.054348241432914966,0.037884391396089,0.058308428703231996,0.0,0.034343033953125705
mentalhealth,mentallyk,2019/03/04,"My experience with the Suicide Lifeline I’ve had nothing but very bad service.  It’s not as helpful as it’s promoted. They’re just there in case you’re too incompetent to call a sheriff, or ambulance yourself. I’ve had crises where I was either gonna attempt or faint. The woman was so annoyed, and borderline angry at me for “pulling a prank” on her for calling about being sad. I was so upset, and all she told me was “Get a therapist our office is open 24/7 have a good day ma’am”. They are not interested in you.  They. Are. A. Joke",0.835260347129509,3.3528001962616827,2.8299666221628854,88.38591121495328,89.09345794392523,5.673965287049401,24.4652870493992,7.1686216300943375,1.2835399198931916,419,18,84,7,14,140,80,107,0.236,0.65,0.114,-0.9462,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,1,1,2,2,7,7,1,1,7,0,11,1,0,0,1,12,14,9,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,7,0,11,3,11,5,2,8,0,1,0,0,12,6,0,2,1,57,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340601958170669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5724876307547441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078684366063896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742122610696829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645857414948746,0.0,0.0,0.23512384247909315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878963639705006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689800069787578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30663074573850496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254796680556268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26786315710669106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23129800675447665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hugheserrr,2019/03/04,"Need help, change in behavior This has being happening consistently for two weeks now, every night I wake up at random hours ranging from 3-6ish.

The first week was just that but this week each time I wake it’s accompanied with a nightmare beforehand or just general auditory hallucinations the worst one was last night which triggered me to make this post I woke up to screams of someone being murdered upstairs whether I heard them while I was awake or heard them while I was asleep and only processed it when I awoke I’m not sure. This legitimately freaked me out while I could rationally tell myself it was nothing I couldn’t help but shake and lay in bed staying as still as possible “just in case” and I didn’t get any sleep for the rest of that night. Any ideas on what this could be? ",5.877631578947367,6.8551988684210565,5.63142105263158,81.7609473684211,66.89473684210526,8.974736842105264,30.33157894736842,9.120678840339163,2.318676842105264,636,23,126,11,10,197,101,152,0.141,0.825,0.035,-0.9548,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,1,6,6,1,1,4,0,13,4,4,2,1,25,21,14,1,4,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,12,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,3,9,4,15,1,18,6,3,27,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,3,16,86,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22060006480181168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158371347285709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590034113943821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366586004059771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379653237953979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474163021941163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343093518283406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21743546648089315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973211208502086,0.0,0.0,0.1831015176411102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221281497845033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826825800680694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026757686425756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4566348040628997,0.0,0.15563311619122727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990939351239763,0.12335869823631893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285359313342567,0.15534060946838876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231488786839451,0.0,0.13742962772560605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288122103440404,0.12953133314271226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286946040209548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176798317327405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457881273036613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844363407413067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903157557239236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fatima83909,2019/03/04,"Heroin is trash My dad's a really good guy but he's been struggling with heroin addiction for years, he got pulled over for speeding Saturday night at 11 but in the state of Kansas if they smell drugs on you they can search the car. Instantly my dad gave them the weed but they still searched the car and found heroin. The last thing I said to him in a few days was just I love you before I watched him get driven away in a police car. While I was crying another copy came over and led me to his car. He went out of the car to take care of some stuff. While he was gone I noticed my dad's girlfriend who I will be referring to as female dog in the back of the car, I asked her if she knew and she said yes she did, I instantly got mad and yelled at her for not telling me before being silent. we drove to the police station, they took female dog in first and she looked back at me and I had the biggest smile on my face as I flipped her off from in the car since I hated her. I never actually knew my dad was using heroin until this incident. Inside the police station I had to wait there for 6 hours. I did nothing for the first 3 and watched sponge Bob for the other 3. A cop came and got me and drove me through the night to a temporary foster home. I stayed a day there constantly texting and calling my mom because I was scared for my dad. Every hour I texted our roommate to make sure that Fatima (my dog) was fed and let out. finally I got to leave. We drove to the court and I was so excited to finally see my mother. My mom wasn't there it was only my grandma. since my mom has a 4 month old child and she can't drive from new Mexico to Kansas. My dad walked into the room in a orange jumpsuit with his hair a mess, like a chimp tried to eat bugs out of his hair. He looked super sad and instantly I started balling my eyes out because first off I'm 12 years old and love my dad, dog and mom more than anything in the world, and second whenever my dad is sad I instantly start crying since I've only seen him sad once before this. The trial starts and they say a bunch of stuff I don't understand, but in the end I'm staying with my grandma. Right now my grandma's doing the paperwork to take me home. I just need some mental support during this time. I also still think that my dad's girlfriend is a complete female dog for reasons I will not explain and the heroin thing.",3.971189759036143,4.294315383534137,4.838411144578314,88.09207454819277,70.86746987951805,7.911746987951808,25.60266064257028,7.756953410329674,1.1399214859437743,1863,50,412,21,32,606,228,498,0.118,0.7979999999999999,0.084,-0.9594,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,3,2,6,5,12,17,2,2,34,1,27,10,4,4,2,58,72,32,0,3,10,14,2,1,2,2,2,4,3,2,12,31,2,1,8,1,0,20,6,8,0,4,35,14,76,9,62,32,5,86,0,3,7,2,60,28,0,4,36,262,88,0,0.0,0.0,0.07596303513211057,0.08485979716395388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622506060536267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162463132140105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405773143700272,0.0,0.07277221425271788,0.0,0.07313557580990547,0.11971212999886413,0.0,0.09490411105417132,0.0,0.19871466065673704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794858791211868,0.1780621276496456,0.07936560001386113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161636309499154,0.08412007077999288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17101262618287053,0.10040392441643244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027256768460247,0.07965229417441498,0.0,0.0,0.06894533564336335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558564979648232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054527186274288,0.0,0.19863833048829088,0.0,0.08535026546294519,0.0,0.0,0.040669484878686414,0.0,0.0,0.06529058207655361,0.2490309808942157,0.0,0.0,0.07707629719436225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685333682821588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616471598434786,0.0,0.1533183324479948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345201367512683,0.0,0.08242395062123076,0.0,0.0795992135248649,0.0,0.038029905537152735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130736162276161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140511761340695,0.0,0.051960462295200405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844691477472045,0.0,0.0,0.3646727041883205,0.06213312779124835,0.0,0.0,0.0577192152902052,0.06003692223012697,0.0751807557793305,0.0,0.14609979542785154,0.0,0.07469196248849211,0.08862418357550142,0.1633651841573773,0.08289970458665885,0.0,0.11840543306959395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04986788829885359,0.08003503784267672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664770557155972,0.1480920554068791,0.061903467369420574,0.07793390586776837,0.0,0.06203038117114499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931763206394924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529193174807305,0.16593946060426298,0.12433021599711686,0.0,0.0,0.08137786532937327,0.17822204026338728,0.0,0.08833472797431145,0.07336561961504284,0.0,0.11705572018094113,0.0,0.06803776175911487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343017449084592,0.04987832038314352,0.0,0.0,0.045390578210762735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648586353495666,0.052849936685593166,0.0,0.0,0.08103677074545339,0.0,0.06723091275804806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216076221684603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025601461296922
mentalhealth,shellediesel,2019/03/04,"My Take on Shame   

I believe most of our big mental health problems stem from a sense of shame, this idea that somehow something is wrong with us. I think shame looks different for different people; we all have different experiences and as such have different perspectives, but I think that if you really dive deep into people’s psychological difficulties, you’ll find a shared sense that something is wrong with them as an individual. This could manifest itself in a belief that you’ll never be enough for the people that you care about, or a belief that you will never be able to be truly happy, or even a belief that you just aren’t capable of functioning as a normal member of society. Whatever belief that shame manifests in, it feels absolutely terrible. The worst part is at a certain point we realize its other people that made us feel this way. I can’t speak for everyone, but I don’t believe I was born with the same sense of shame I have now. Other people throughout my childhood and teenage years did things that made me feel this way, and upon my first realization of that idea I decided I just would stop caring about other people. If other people made me feel shame then other people must be the problem, so if I just stop caring about them then I’ll be able to be that same happy I was when I was a kid. Eventually though, I realized this didn’t work. I wasn’t as unhappy as I’d once been, but I’d become someone that wasn’t me in an effort to protect myself from the world. I’d lost my sense of self because I was too worried about someone else taking it away from me.

I think cutting other people out and trying to not care about them is universal to people who feel shame. The people we choose to cut out varies, as again we all have had different experiences so we are willing/unwilling to share our shame with different people based on our past. The other part of this that varies is the way we cut people out. I think shame stems from various relationship dynamics, and so we avoid whatever the dynamic was that made us feel that certain way. Whether it be a parent, peers, or something else, we avoid dynamics that remind us of the one that gives us our shame. While this seems logical, this is actually where we all end up really fucked. It sucks, but the reality is that you’re only ever going to be happy when you start opening yourself up to shame again. We find joy by sharing our experiences with people who can understand us, and if you’re someone who has dealt with shame your whole life, how can someone that hasn’t had the same experience possibly understand you. How can you find joy again without ever letting yourself be truly understood?

Shame makes you find a means for ignoring it, because to be constantly facing shame is horrible. For people who don’t experience shame until later in their life this is less of a problem, as hopefully when you’re older you have greater perspective and more advanced social skills, so its easier for you to understand how you’re feeling and what actions you can take to deal with that shame that won’t hurt you or other people. When someone starts experiencing shame at a young age, we don’t have those same perspectives and abilities so we often find an unhealthy way to avoid it. This could be avoidance, lashing out, or, and what I think happens most often, committing yourself to something that doesn’t really matter in order to distract yourself from your shame. If we can’t convince ourselves we’re enough, we settle for finding ways to convince ourselves we’re better than someone else in a way that does not really matter. Whether it be being a better athlete, gamer, or student, we find a new way to define ourselves that let us be better than someone else. 

These unhealthy ways for avoiding shame get engrained in our psyche, and it becomes the only way we know for dealing with it. This ends up doing tremendous damage to us down the road, as we find ourselves hurting other people in our own attempts to avoid shame. We feel shame so we look to find someone that can understand us, the only people that can understand us can also make us feel shame, so we use our old unhealthy means for dealing with shame and end up hurting the person we thought could understand us. The only way to escape this dynamic is realizing that shame is at the root of these decisions, and being willing to accept that you’re going to have to deal with it, otherwise we destroy ourselves in a desperate attempt to avoid it. 

The reality is that once we feel shame, we stop caring about making ourselves into something better than what we once were, and start caring only about being better than someone else. As time progresses, less and less people are willing to keep putting up with our need to be better than them, until the only people left to make yourself better than are the people that genuinely care about you, and the people who need you around because they’re doing the exact same thing to you that you’re doing o them. It’s tough to know the difference between the two, and sadly I think that the people who genuinely care become unwilling to keep putting up with one’s deflections of shame because getting hurt by someone is much worse when you actually care about them. The people who simply need you because they are also avoiding shame are more likely to stick around, because they won’t actually be hurt when you wrong them to avoid shame. 

I think the only way we can healthily deal with shame is by acknowledging it, because until we do, we are stuck hurting the people we don’t want to, and end up surrounded by people that are there for their own selfish reasons, not because they actually care about you. In order to find out who we truly are, and to regain the same sense of self that existed in our past, I think we need to accept the unfortunate realities of our existence and use them as points of connection, not something to separate us from the world.",11.357345096763707,8.105644476744189,10.394142950073183,65.7980822084892,58.16815742397139,13.240559440559439,41.15148804683689,11.115808304768276,4.490636135957066,4767,176,825,86,44,1523,339,1118,0.211,0.66,0.129,-0.999,8,9,6,1,0,0,90.0,55,23,13,16,48,102,6,39,51,0,96,5,1,15,12,225,173,72,0,20,25,1,10,1,0,9,3,1,0,4,88,74,0,16,58,0,0,6,21,65,0,4,21,14,121,37,153,120,27,110,4,9,2,1,116,46,2,18,45,620,209,3,0.05109663869856465,0.0,0.09972589718210799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04086196350653505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045486841558214336,0.0,0.0,0.024003487027896,0.0,0.0,0.12459214675516465,0.08464833447531782,0.0,0.05756841422794848,0.0,0.1581678861160314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604821428282073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027608657009845758,0.0,0.06119476234420777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169597713086004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18684789226189835,0.0,0.0,0.022357506429642883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671171263794874,0.0,0.09051291120211646,0.052796486768109635,0.0,0.016874423978262602,0.046219835040624616,0.0,0.024412513987412163,0.0,0.12495579330861868,0.0,0.0,0.12917997904102288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23350701038414015,0.02173138738713456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023619009558278156,0.026695884784010797,0.024508275907915197,0.029039397294895183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02259229442595,0.08158998304913688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0271566687750142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025375245744411582,0.0,0.0,0.16410002559789472,0.057681885586441065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04541704022401685,0.0,0.0,0.0280813763361858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027758323726368776,0.05224977497247076,0.03609106701992739,0.012481618338602316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04290830748949556,0.0,0.027889008554348692,0.0,0.0,0.09669775000323914,0.06821480620638784,0.0,0.0,0.05565921903566338,0.0,0.0,0.025746696875235814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018780954349023025,0.07577502030365528,0.0394088777721901,0.024674726029191418,0.0,0.0,0.02503192854048056,0.0,0.0,0.026808663467173675,0.08162437890012894,0.034624404773550777,0.136014536815435,0.0,0.0,0.02836838519762532,0.055332680379454026,0.04877752334296268,0.4605116828880672,0.022307807011177558,0.0,0.0,0.04830283946333643,0.028801891360795036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333887372410634,0.0,0.051366234878364864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546763030902271,0.026267927357641174,0.0,0.02742933378952203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023258230407817253,0.05330493792542767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02604329420087197,0.21647008077216967,0.11801006647817758,0.0,0.0,0.0542496957957002,0.0,0.0,0.06407861686203893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762746986926079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03394633629653854,0.13096265154478978,0.025101094044767458,0.020282511788366032,0.014897430466708324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017345631802435934,0.0,0.024956995688254102,0.15958020871486348,0.3995092724427254,0.04413109008551334,0.0,0.0,0.015069060686336302,0.24334880067695705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028523786170390513,0.0,0.024627668158806112,0.0,0.018599480765292418,0.02594555844412929,0.02603592007090335,0.018148793048638086,0.08379922969823446,0.0,0.016452280026385074
mentalhealth,Yajushh,2019/03/04,"I need help with my weird addiction of Day Dreaming  

\~ A little about me :

I am 16 , I love science and math .  
But recently I am getting very unfocused  
I am not able to commit to anything that I start.  
And I have create fictional characters in my mind

\~ The Story :  
As a kid , I used to imagine fantasies of warriors , super heroes and soldiers.  
The protagonist would be perfect in every aspect of life and would be involved in violence.  
These fantasies date back to when I was around 6.  
Since then I created numerous stories in my head.  
These stories ranged from a young brave prince to a rich pop singer.  
But most of my stories had three things in common - Violence , Money , Girls  
When I entered my teen years , the stories became much more realistic , creative .  
I created a fictional crime organization in my head which was run by a very smart criminal in the 80s .  
Lets compare this character to Tommy Vercetti from GTA Vice City.  
He had been the most wanted criminal for decades but lives a secret life as another person who runs a successful real estate firm and earn billions.   
This character has a big family and his sons who now control the crime organization of their father.   
These people lives life as a billionaire  , drive hyper cars , own gold rolex and stuff like that.  
But they have a secret dark life as well.  
They smuggle cocaine , illegal weapons , etc.  
The protagonist is tall , good looking , skilled in every form of martial arts , can kill everyone in the room .  
Games like GTA 5  , movies like John Wick , Bourne series give me a stimulation.  
I can experience the life of this character.  
Often , this character build relationship with female figures .  
The girl with which he is in relationship with has to be extremely good looking , good body , etc.  
I also add imperfection to the life of this character to make the story more realistic , like death of a loved one , failures .  
I also relate this character to my real life.  
If I had a bad day , that character would also have a bad day.  
I have spent days sitting and creating this story.  
And this is 'one' of my many stories.  


\~ The Problem :  
As I already mentioned I have lack of focus as I am always dreaming and imagining about this character  
I have thought of writing my stories ( I am a decent writer) , but I don't do it because I have other priorities like studying science and math which i don""t do ultimately.  
I have recently started NoFap movement which promotes abstaining from Porn , Masturbation and Orgasm.  
NoFap has changed my life very much since i started 3 months ago.  
But I keep relapsing because I would fantasize my character having sexual encounter and end up breaking my streaks ( NoFap streaks)  
I don't know if this kind of imagination is positive or not . Because when ever I imagine these stories I feel satisfied or good. This is bad as that feeling of satisfaction is the dopamine rush in my body which is a reward system. And by feeling satisfied just by imagining stories , I am hacking the reward system in human body.  


\~ What I plan on doing :  
I plan on cutting my screen time  
Start Meditating   
Exercising more  
Keep myself occupied all the time  


\~ Reason I am reaching out to you guy :  
I wanna know what I am doing is common or not  
Is it dangerous or not  
How to use my imagination  


Also:  
The stories that I imagine are much better and creative than what I wrote above.  
I am afraid my ideas could be copied so I kept the stories very short and brief.",4.701190476190477,7.0025013095238124,5.573650793650796,75.88190476190478,71.61904761904762,8.53968253968254,31.666666666666664,9.20083730400854,3.1815714285714285,2715,126,455,61,54,887,295,630,0.104,0.727,0.17,0.9913,0,0,1,0,0,0,81.0,0,1,3,13,18,33,4,1,35,0,55,19,6,7,4,90,81,45,2,12,17,2,3,5,0,4,10,1,1,6,35,23,0,5,18,7,3,8,6,10,1,4,10,7,66,23,65,61,14,61,0,0,3,4,30,22,0,9,32,322,101,5,0.06994174335289119,0.0,0.0,0.0762468240437157,0.0,0.0,0.061999135439026125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718245300154011,0.22372954756020486,0.058197133385846526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334001623845095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057556095356676364,0.06226298009476741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537808833922066,0.17519530269327774,0.12790751271639325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185778824014643,0.0,0.233068528883066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398909052314649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844561243741845,0.055842790855829584,0.0,0.0,0.18042655330621252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619476248013873,0.0,0.15600706420672694,0.0,0.06326631110306566,0.11785787067493265,0.06683233306125133,0.0,0.06841644576744993,0.06593485097735315,0.0,0.10609394086041384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03654167416288552,0.06709449338480275,0.0,0.2346552638434712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692533221445878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435608137470244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046880476260768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895571490715345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433487024207543,0.07738017628857619,0.0728335627765917,0.07687630602427989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715201712764234,0.3952153740258717,0.17085001454152135,0.07010000119486008,0.12351968154548493,0.0,0.11746689827648253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625030816792218,0.0,0.046686656794592746,0.07090994996912921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062122263662232,0.0,0.055826832261123484,0.0,0.15424568689352555,0.051860916467556736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478867080492856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848879835412132,0.06107043251694114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692480254995238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921803226377773,0.0,0.07191176094767808,0.1381180674523825,0.15018251478850625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571306571908935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980205037334152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006656272357132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464661864556294,0.0,0.0,0.05552593165365051,0.08156718601134325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208144197058896,0.0,0.23083705263223897,0.04125345235761987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288602693995002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19873843100497146,0.0,0.0,0.045040189589130336
mentalhealth,random123b42,2019/03/04,"Struggling with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. But at least I am sober I keep typing out a really long story and erasing it but I don’t know what to say. I just feel hopeless. I was getting my life together, being responsible, working nearly full time and going to school. I got arrested right before Christmas for a DUI, possession of weed, and for having a fake ID. 

I’ve been going to substance abuse counseling for the past 4 weeks, and I had over 60 days of sobriety. I don’t consider myself an addict, but that’s what everyone keeps telling me that I am. I have court coming up in about a week and I’m scared. My birthday was last week and I had a couple drinks, for the first time in awhile. It was my 21st birthday so of course I’m gonna have a few drinks with my parents at dinner. Fuck the system for making me feel bad for this. I’m 21 years old and in college everyone I know my age drinks and smokes regularly. 

I had to email my professor telling him hey, sorry can’t make it for the midterm because I have court that day ooops my bad. I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights and have worried about my situation and also felt a lot of anger, guilt, and frustrated. I’m angry at myself for putting myself in that stupid situation of getting arrested. I’m angry at myself for drinking and driving. I’m angry at the cop because I got pulled over for a dumb reason and I wasn’t even that drunk, I blew a .10 and I did really well on the sobriety tests. I wasn’t driving erratically or speeding or swerving or anything crazy, but I shouldn’t have been drinking and driving at all so I don’t really have a valid reason to be angry at the cop because he was just doing his job but no, I’m still angry.

I’m frustrated at the system, I’m going to be labeled a criminal for my life and with the fake ID charge it will be next to impossible to get into a career field that I wanted to do. I’m labeled an addict because I made one stupid mistake and now I have to do this ridiculous 16 week substance abuse class. I have to pay for everything myself and I’m already up to debt. I wanna die. I think about killing myself often because I feel like I really messed up. I feel bad for drinking on my birthday even though it’s something that everybody does on their 21st birthday. I’m struggling because I feel like I deserve all of this but at the same time I feel like I don’t. I was going to do some community service to make myself look better at court today since it’s my spring break but I only got three hours of sleep because I was so anxious and stressed out last night that I couldn’t fall asleep until 6 am and now I’m just laying in bed because I’m too tired to do anything typing out this post that nobody is going to care about and I still can’t get some sleep. I just need to vent I feel like I’m suffocating from everything going on but I feel like I deserve it and I just the feelings to end.",2.7681181417290546,4.374206594639869,4.302001162273958,85.91982770997849,75.18090452261306,7.017522989095137,25.751512665367656,7.745696148679241,1.3901504050866582,2295,81,469,32,49,766,240,597,0.263,0.691,0.046,-0.9993,3,0,8,0,2,3,44.0,0,0,1,3,23,31,9,5,26,0,46,18,3,6,2,82,100,40,2,6,16,1,10,5,0,3,6,1,1,0,22,31,8,2,15,7,2,13,11,23,1,3,20,12,67,8,78,72,10,78,0,2,1,1,10,31,2,8,35,306,89,13,0.0,0.14888982277982415,0.0,0.13699095756997967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933599056020215,0.050246232124039635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048065833950997415,0.07098157549549068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340974480956118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738473424122024,0.3064114099994831,0.0,0.05346487688385846,0.0,0.0,0.05556924993571003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406077970590007,0.0,0.0,0.05412367065619162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952172722789678,0.0,0.08104208476374633,0.0,0.054116575783031744,0.0,0.06520905295379296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498416431206898,0.0,0.0,0.3693049952150194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564995360241047,0.0,0.0,0.08299906822007143,0.0,0.0,0.1200761529089712,0.1129375864422894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859249037541802,0.22443375319633707,0.0603279783623801,0.0,0.0,0.05344433998413999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05808659863422155,0.1313072117446827,0.0,0.21425112823883102,0.0,0.15075598374064805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187625317588224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235044990484059,0.11169483547298603,0.06951361305638261,0.0,0.06906096685857238,0.10243192187114188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875932409843787,0.1534811933902249,0.0,0.0,0.055603794375588066,0.05276253496291377,0.0,0.0,0.1068339853160482,0.0,0.05945257123728352,0.12582130272794076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658867235751362,0.0,0.0,0.06682188575349972,0.11792598819067808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593096424705283,0.0,0.042576169378896855,0.047786096007137964,0.0,0.0,0.06976681222849641,0.0,0.059979662013409964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017509412788416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316289134327795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610055644336268,0.12920224699612035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365765546974964,0.0,0.04996603547999687,0.06290517270131551,0.06358871126898016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051974767064158565,0.14125020797340845,0.1257535127390525,0.0,0.0,0.048370666216986415,0.0,0.07033458616285469,0.0,0.0,0.10035444293733367,0.0,0.07197313384640103,0.13137000168564006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983479157146052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040259811475082605,0.0617315121305429,0.0,0.10991244938519698,0.07221542878323954,0.059556801842136686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037059576004750766,0.0,0.20159817337880706,0.0,0.056492956633420126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045741993175145886,0.06380831660050118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040461348904256005
mentalhealth,skaikruu,2019/03/04,"I did not know smells could be so triggering So last night a friend was wearing a headband on his wrist. When he moved his hand close to me I smelled it and I got very confused for a second because I thought that smell was very familiar, so I asked him to let me smell it again. And then it hit me. The smell was the same perfume that my abusive exbf used to wear all the time, and I could not hold myself. I started having really messed up thoughts until finally I just could not breath and went into a panic attack. It went away somewhat fast because I forced myself to breath and calm down, but that feeling of uneasiness stayed for the rest of the day. My boyfriend helped me get a bit better since I did not think anything about the smell and thought my panic attack was due to the thoughts I was having and the performance I had that night

This morning I was reading a story on Reddit and it reminded me of a fairly similar story the same ex had told me years ago, and the smell came back again. That’s when I realized that the smell caused me to remember all of those very bad memories I have tried to forget and almost had a panic attack if it wasn’t for my boyfriend helping me out again. 

Panic attacks don’t feel nice at all. And not knowing what triggers me is not helping me either. ",5.843294723294723,5.755327563706563,5.768710424710424,84.45759588159589,66.7992277992278,8.605508365508365,30.780180180180178,8.021203637495839,1.9604036550836548,1025,35,208,11,15,321,135,259,0.174,0.7509999999999999,0.075,-0.9832,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,11,15,4,5,19,0,22,6,6,4,3,53,41,20,0,4,10,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,15,15,0,1,11,1,0,4,8,11,0,1,21,12,34,4,24,14,9,33,0,0,0,0,12,9,0,4,19,153,49,1,0.0,0.11567193292812128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654037171478722,0.0,0.09775925549635237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033863458494625,0.0,0.0912679890098224,0.4442588492297703,0.09172370248437496,0.07506907325326234,0.08151439806593037,0.11902492529084445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634307478402722,0.1065833085410364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165918528297697,0.0,0.10028973663852278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23384144846700414,0.0,0.0,0.06296128518474857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987262054944454,0.0,0.0,0.10694551593546336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542631413146914,0.0,0.05100603488651522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808116415294357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19631179433605572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730640116657443,0.07957896769007948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983013736464053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376196290773186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832324969134556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4581766102256643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765333652970072,0.0,0.06254230310207769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059226607006784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075799483878167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691008345474936,0.1040573041664738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625553866033027,0.0,0.3100194692129252,0.05692704057214607,0.0,0.0,0.09328670318919537,0.0,0.06628226844712752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431831118142308,0.0,0.2416572932696728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18100226083752946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286853391659254
mentalhealth,Steveheadroom,2019/03/04,"I am going to be hospitalized soon. I am a 37\[M\] and this will be my first time.

Today my gf is going to call my doctor because  I have voices in my head that weren't there before.  Presences I've never felt.  Some part me of is highly amused that this is all happening, another is scared and sad.  But neither of those feel like him, like my other.

​

I will have to tell my doctor about him soon.  He doesn't know.  He is stronger now, more clear.  I think he wants this to happen more than I do.  I think he will address the doctor himself.

It's scary, and unsettling.  Yesterday I had a panic attack, came out of no where, didn't see it coming, lasted about half an hour.  Never had that happen before.

I don't think I know what's happening in my own mind anymore.  It's almost like I can fell them moving, just out of light, a scribble and a silhouette.  Whispering too each other.

​

Perhaps posting this will mean I'll update it later.",2.009874686716792,4.277562513227515,3.3360345307713746,88.86223057644112,79.95238095238095,5.6720690615427465,20.529379003063205,6.8360192770164,0.4537026455026454,741,20,146,8,19,241,111,189,0.095,0.8190000000000001,0.086,-0.4047,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,1,1,9,8,1,2,6,0,23,4,1,0,4,28,41,5,0,1,2,0,2,3,1,4,3,2,1,0,15,9,0,0,8,1,0,6,8,4,0,2,6,6,23,4,15,29,8,26,0,1,1,0,11,6,0,3,16,107,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141766334000403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470857320348928,0.2770985925925675,0.0,0.11956208294668005,0.0,0.0,0.1130792555375472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971656623633934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950679601332993,0.0,0.1940487681682829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642928266538352,0.13041087310937355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821991774520167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501192628179541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057652984950038476,0.08145739012499646,0.10947906896646202,0.0,0.0,0.09698711512997343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960274089138166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4033173623948344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170195399555665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204705779912595,0.0,0.0,0.11228877168960412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532709629658312,0.09294320598260776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711627287051434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420346175992796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512978741677653,0.0,0.0,0.12118741636925345,0.0,0.0,0.17588170039696815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337803325951085,0.0,0.12347479125031027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920162516498527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415598412972948,0.0,0.09086082789882202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966031555988067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191822167775076,0.0,0.0,0.06648718639431192,0.0,0.108079590818232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725317153710571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770985925925675,0.0
mentalhealth,myhealthfeed,2019/03/04,"I can’t stop losing things I don’t know if this is the right place for this. I don’t want to act like I’m more deserving of help than other posts here or other people affected by worse. I’ve ignored it because I don’t want to be the person to self diagnose myself with anything. I just thought this may be the right place to get some advice on getting myself in order. 
I’m an extremely forgettable person. Anything important that I need to do just completely leaves my mind. I keep losing things over and over and I’m tired of it. Last week I couldn’t find my phone for three days. I lost two jackets last week. This past Friday I couldn’t find my glasses. I’m nearsighted but not so much that I wouldn’t be able to reasonably find them. I spent Friday Saturday and Sunday looking for them and panicking. This morning a family member handed them to me. They were on the table.  I’ve actually gotten better at not procrastinating with work, but the problem is I literally don’t remember what assignments I have until someone reminds me. This happens every week.
Is there something wrong I’m doing with my method? It’s like when something’s in front of me it’s the most important thing in the world, then when I’m done with it, it doesn’t exist anymore. My parents tell me I was like this as a kid too. I don’t want to write off my own inadequacies as something out of my control, so let me know if I’m overstepping. I just need to be able to do what I need to do on a daily basis and for most of my adult life I haven’t been able to. Thanks for the help, and let me know if this is the wrong subreddit and if there’s somewhere else I’d be right to ask",2.7257959782153343,4.323539894428155,4.177824675324678,86.80102272727274,75.27565982404694,7.3347716799329685,24.20203183912861,8.07648339933343,1.2752454126518646,1308,41,275,21,28,434,162,341,0.1,0.812,0.08800000000000001,-0.589,1,0,4,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,4,6,11,12,0,0,13,0,32,4,1,3,0,54,59,22,0,14,12,1,1,3,0,2,3,0,0,5,23,12,0,4,9,0,1,2,13,7,0,2,8,2,39,5,43,40,6,35,0,3,1,0,16,17,0,9,17,186,62,3,0.2799095853488641,0.0,0.0910504592857933,0.0,0.0,0.0911748024170366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253169823893433,0.0,0.0,0.1535611592665188,0.0,0.08722589242821395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687676173394195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251909387663026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782662491185504,0.0,0.1046474670546314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601728420692598,0.0,0.0,0.09470077902620448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548156278139522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779428471151585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861196601928079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795794858392034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558322900191618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749413700179352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250770730279966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507832987900872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293216684221506,0.0,0.0,0.1538309878396751,0.15210911406267866,0.0,0.09879461171029824,0.0,0.19081767698255767,0.0659028060139288,0.13674968462217435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835118488752076,0.20876481860422136,0.10185145923578404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420962931635604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858858401369629,0.20754941081470515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360215648793372,0.0,0.08906845721508459,0.06468468752576369,0.16293750220707698,0.1949639606474745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935866953609778,0.0,0.0,0.08927855685454737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593122420474684,0.0,0.0,0.10569433169588062,0.2390412564879392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733558117703564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905549444171849,0.2154880739466102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800564895773505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155110503643026,0.08590104638347375,0.0,0.0,0.18595949085676575,0.0,0.0,0.07407231485430324,0.0,0.1072382973317005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114366414411297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509792564604647,0.0,0.22452658548094545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792583728034829,0.0,0.09508392693845884,0.0,0.20402479375741908,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saradakl,2019/03/04,"Anyone have any good ways to deal with seasonal depression? I get it pretty bad during winter and can’t get anything done, failing classes because of it :(",6.428571428571428,8.125159000000004,6.727142857142859,71.76785714285714,66.14285714285714,8.457142857142857,35.42857142857143,8.841846274778883,3.525085714285714,124,6,18,2,2,40,26,28,0.331,0.519,0.151,-0.8074,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,4,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22655638113032175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23294926649093656,0.0,0.2741576419844161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781699648866328,0.20308779844027666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434675042433357,0.2869453519350561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409325669351301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34811879299930554,0.0,0.0,0.27943406087525124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389377432769453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644424145484449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,endmylifefamalam,2019/03/04,"Why does sunlight make me really uncomfortable For some reason, whenever I'm sitting in my room and it's really bright because of the sun, I get super uncomfortable and upset to the point where I have to leave my room and find someplace darker to sit and relax. I don't get a little upset, I get so upset and uncomfortable to the point where I feel like ripping off my own skin or destroying everything in sight. I know that sounds super edgy lmao, but it's actually starting to interfere with my general happiness and wellbeing. Does anyone know why I feel this way?",9.256666666666664,7.655452074074078,9.65992592592593,64.27766666666668,60.66666666666667,13.454814814814815,37.34074074074074,12.340626583579946,4.715316296296296,456,17,79,13,5,154,69,108,0.129,0.7120000000000001,0.159,0.7512,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,3,10,1,3,4,0,2,1,1,2,0,19,12,9,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,7,0,1,6,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,12,6,11,12,2,14,0,0,2,0,0,10,0,2,2,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.19020933709927795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628939658709086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881863343279915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34114360240125746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751774150224248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711019002434166,0.13924761797102986,0.0,0.0,0.17814916649822882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30550579286980295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20749109346362732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21424083928721174,0.0,0.0,0.20638729062763192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522583068975116,0.19535646113482796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010755917471584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685161561417344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24973562363245286,0.20040551916199076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796214044976518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471479113776535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3517617063122191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,65747382910,2019/03/04,"Struggling with what to do Hi everyone, title says it all. Not sure what to do and how to proceed. 

I haven't been doing well in school (not passing) and I am taking coursework that if I fail, I'll have to probably drop out of my major. Was thinking about taking a quarter off of school but my upper div coursework is only offered once a year and is offered in a series so I'll have to wait another year to take it and I don't have the money to stay another year. I keep worrying about so many things that I am not able to fall asleep for half an hour to an hour when I do get the chance to fall asleep. When I'm done taking a test, I literally will think about my test and even when I fall asleep, I think about filling in my answers (which I realize later are all wrong) and am unable to do anything about it. When I am awake, my mind doesn't focus and I often forget everything after \~ 2 hours. When I study for a test, even though I studied for about one to two weeks prior to the exam, right before as I am reviewing, I notice that I start mixing up and forgetting information. Everyone tells me that I am in a toxic work environment and that I need to get out. I've been constantly thinking about wanting to commit suicide and I am so devastated by my grades. I feel so stressed out and have been having a lot of chest pains and numbness and tingling in my extremities (am prediabetic). I know that I should just get sleep, but it's hard to fall asleep and by the time I finish my work, I won't get that 7-8 hours of sleep (usually get from 2-5 hrs each night and always in intervals of about 2 hours). I've stopped dreaming and when I wake up, I feel so tired. I've been thinking more and more about suicide and am not sure what to do. On the waitlist to see if I could meet with a therapist or psychiatrist but my thoughts seem to focus more and more on suicide and I'm not sure if I'll last until then.

Have been diagnosed with depression, insomnia and anxiety. Not taking medication because when prescribed different medications, they didn't work out and am too scared to try new medications which work/don't work. When I was on medication, I ended up not caring, randomly falling asleep sometimes, and almost fell asleep during one of my finals in one quarter and not turning in any assignments for 1/3 of another quarter (can predict how that went). 

​

TLDR: Stressed about school and work. Can't sleep or function properly. Pretty depressed. Looking for advice on what to do. 

​",5.934967607105538,5.973325311111113,6.514169278996867,78.76090909090912,66.59595959595961,9.5750609543713,32.01846046673633,9.314750747691287,2.6838199233716478,1979,74,388,34,29,648,221,495,0.171,0.807,0.022,-0.9974,1,0,0,0,0,4,63.0,0,0,1,6,32,15,0,4,15,0,44,21,11,2,6,85,76,52,3,7,17,0,3,0,0,3,10,1,0,0,19,33,0,3,13,1,1,9,14,10,1,8,11,6,43,5,72,61,9,67,0,3,2,0,8,22,0,10,34,273,62,16,0.0660187952374045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451280263316905,0.0,0.0,0.0661082870350466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054932926292940304,0.14306267411473295,0.16044012466136026,0.044895044642387735,0.2076793892736476,0.05050419765522556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432784331447284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04024444481241839,0.0,0.05617713223300177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731056166658902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134286404494708,0.0,0.05271063599880688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137237831993764,0.06700768748124321,0.0,0.06897558963879499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756014876399333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847305716375587,0.0,0.0,0.08720958323243767,0.0,0.0,0.12616757604531126,0.059333436242888137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676217302975794,0.0,0.0,0.07232036320935935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724604784312808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591398731198003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250760741762484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058680538587415135,0.0,0.0,0.036282203321824864,0.05381412952970748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543916074096224,0.0,0.0,0.056126818856382286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693269631107962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26602796268865964,0.0,0.0,0.06666016334678049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04895210014741845,0.0,0.06376136382943733,0.0,0.06195416709446496,0.0,0.0,0.07516283594741366,0.0,0.07030786230744512,0.13420813269814588,0.05021026869889562,0.07024865280375334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716484894175445,0.07117942731368163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05637969041217473,0.0,0.052500795773198265,0.06609633110458936,0.20044363606654955,0.05260843232197785,0.06010103169158936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981994196653351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652942765860162,0.0,0.04672844306590919,0.07036725164285927,0.0,0.05519466894443527,0.1512486137804424,0.06901717899935866,0.0,0.2166415401169794,0.0,0.1866657996327145,0.0,0.2481895893904333,0.0,0.0577033369336811,0.0,0.0,0.07665290966882501,0.043859954042029865,0.2115108913300668,0.06486313112501811,0.052411549047510816,0.038496090412018284,0.07587889336828851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482242837866349,0.07180949144401161,0.06449077004080576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271037588886375,0.0,0.038939595919024884,0.0,0.052956295347104984,0.0,0.059358825456998665,0.06120008459908045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883748152773213,0.06704529119216603,0.0,0.0,0.07218118878799981,0.16044012466136026,0.12754181886498936
mentalhealth,HenryTheH00ver,2019/03/04,"Voices Sometimes I hear the voices of people I know saying my name. Sometimes it's just one person and other times its multiple people. Any idea what it might be?
",2.1966129032258053,5.038922129032258,3.4195967741935505,84.34939516129033,85.7741935483871,4.390322580645162,17.427419354838708,5.985473137389443,0.08499354838709694,130,3,21,1,4,42,26,31,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,15,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19262236865863036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31924773731504313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197591810746466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566893851366118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004876310681877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919401767647864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927451856079075,0.2473263843213246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22525487431520255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5602907098560033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516762993167108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Awerka,2019/03/04,"Bad habits returning after being good for a month I honestly don't know if any of this is going to make any sense but I've bored absolutely everyone I know about this and right now I just need to scream about this.

There has been a situation I got myself in that has effected my mental health really badly for the last two and a bit years. It started off without me really realizing and grew into something just ridiculous last year, I promised myself this year I would move on and started to try and beat the bad habits I had that dragged me down all the time and had completely stopped doing them throughout the entirety of February just to go back to my old ways today and find myself not only hating myself more then I already did but just wishing I could disappear completely.

The problem is stupid so I won't bore you all with it but I don't like the person I've become in the last two years and because of other people knowing I have very bad anxiety and seeing the drama they could cause stirring the pot I've basically been made to look like a complete psychopath to some people so I can't in any way change the situation into a more favourable one for me. I can't really leave it at the moment because I can't afford too so I just have to try and get over it.

I can't though. I've tried so hard but every time I think I'm making progress it is like my brain just wants me to be upset. I don't blame people for thinking I'm mad because I am pretty sure I'm going mad. I just don't know what to do, I thought I had broken the habits and that I was on my way out of caring about this whole thing and felt so much better for it. Last week I went out with a bunch of work friends on Monday and was on cloud 9 all week until the problem reared its horrible head and my weekend was just awful and then today I turned back to the old habits kind of knowing that doing it was just going to make me worse.

I'm not sure why I want to talk about it, I know I'm not making any sense I'm just so lost. My friends don't understand, these things are easy to them and they don't see the problem my anxiety and depression give me when trying to act ""normal"" to solve all this. Every time I tried I made it worse and it is like my brain is hardwired to make the situation explode at any opportunity it is given. I'm tired and this weekend has drained me of my absolute last bit of energy to fight any of this. I'm just lost. It is all so stupid but even though I can see that I can't stop it and I don't know what to do anymore.

Honestly don't know why I wrote this but I have no one else to say it to and it is eating me up inside.",4.082571428571433,4.284775228828831,5.2220334620334645,85.86648648648651,70.58558558558559,8.288803088803089,26.12741312741313,8.146662555663855,1.3571250965250965,2072,57,457,27,35,688,224,555,0.21,0.68,0.11,-0.9966,1,0,1,0,1,0,23.0,0,1,4,8,31,38,7,1,22,1,50,6,3,9,7,95,103,41,0,12,22,0,2,4,2,2,2,2,0,1,36,27,1,2,16,3,0,9,19,21,0,4,20,8,61,17,61,77,13,66,0,3,4,0,13,18,0,2,40,306,97,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670227073089578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24781175662006266,0.0,0.09292439018842724,0.0,0.060232911939788726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934031056603274,0.2028451293038763,0.1110706832191063,0.06707716043208264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371527173302069,0.1326140259611246,0.0,0.0,0.13560094450634455,0.0,0.0,0.06192349533802705,0.06239169115816455,0.06424969621126034,0.0,0.19103883088151896,0.0,0.0,0.09698409110606857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052311063705362836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214718298747965,0.05073639343029338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040114969233763634,0.0,0.10234390412734602,0.0580350030783506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05831523287768187,0.0,0.05551079283947417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384759506251787,0.0,0.0317315897170243,0.058262654493278526,0.1380686571052601,0.050941731104262165,0.04857541800772007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054406731525511065,0.05996334991435444,0.062331747868978875,0.06455858486218786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324627386676479,0.26702743731435263,0.2475361159188565,0.0,0.06430971505468552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118688433166218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05100219826855406,0.0,0.13259910045629386,0.0,0.0,0.11493806459263482,0.20270579723057766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612067087061222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04847818763351431,0.06455181318341817,0.0446472962195506,0.045034316609631565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950751531173368,0.0,0.0,0.12746256838981254,0.0,0.08231136861427703,0.04619179015468625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263182399678266,0.05303155788185082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178944444001674,0.0,0.17434590163618194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672540551770536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186745452654054,0.0,0.048298999470659146,0.0,0.0,0.14519406462988702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048064346490726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04675685712437482,0.0,0.0,0.08597725096034615,0.0,0.0,0.10155454776902276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448425018925405,0.0,0.0,0.04881658310708848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069942048918723,0.07783321588130825,0.11934388002064746,0.048216895428363146,0.106245398172519,0.06980607772997019,0.11513957083103332,0.0,0.0,0.20617577435272885,0.06606236225876799,0.11865876020315134,0.06322739442010704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05011282880036322,0.07164628630794151,0.1446261167907804,0.09743608809234933,0.0,0.0,0.05630205809497985,0.10960798521699333,0.06780858452588663,0.0698423824132093,0.05854648145397411,0.0,0.04421588550962226,0.0,0.12378853748873885,0.04314448159616641,0.0,0.0,0.15644568559706254
mentalhealth,Forhaver,2019/03/04,"Need help with a problem I've had since childhood. Intrusive thoughts attach themselves to memories. It's hard to enjoy anything, as sometimes, even for months straight, this happens. Not sure if it's something OCD related but I'm pretty sure it is.

Whether it be during an important moment in a movie or video game, or while reading, my mind jumps to something horrible (Usually because sometimes I'm actively trying to avoid it).  Sometimes a character reminds me of someone who annoys me for a split second. Then, whenever I see or read that scene again any time again after that, my mind instantly jumps to what was in my head while I experienced it. Either the horrible thing, the person who annoys me, or anything else. It triggers what I had in my head rather than focusing on what happened instead.

It can ruin things for me often. I try to think back on meaningful moments in my favorite pieces of media but my mind jumps to something horrible I was thinking about that is forever attached to it. 

It just drives me crazy sometimes. I just want to enjoy things but I can't get this shit out of my head. 

It's spiked before high school, in my year off after high school, and now, since my college shut down, the months of nothing have also made it spike.",5.9425423728813564,7.157730838983053,5.8625000000000025,79.30273305084748,66.88135593220339,8.611864406779661,33.81779661016949,8.841846274778883,2.951369491525424,1002,45,175,16,16,314,138,236,0.17,0.727,0.103,-0.9684,0,1,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,0,12,10,3,1,8,0,10,4,4,2,2,33,22,15,0,5,14,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,25,3,0,1,4,4,0,4,2,6,0,1,6,3,21,4,32,15,2,35,0,1,1,0,5,14,1,6,17,124,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419427742417711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159562543456492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732768483289723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095564784928161,0.0,0.06417915873707622,0.0,0.08958754689698216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794991495513063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953801588960895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05500569568149626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18620171340938274,0.0,0.094312328629143,0.0,0.3241502728182567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705685568512493,0.22247321964216532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962072905239104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31891555901541346,0.0,0.16807077489275113,0.0,0.0,0.07806554719584488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102127850281324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192850910963726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711002529358964,0.0,0.10074101438805604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106217322474346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21310276895627986,0.08389642209349328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807084521265677,0.17418133747637254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892054148677964,0.24315454822233976,0.4165078446149572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19845478535403588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20983479576756645,0.1349213898471182,0.0,0.08358244576747881,0.06139099964791619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429596437125062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595366212044032,0.0,0.062098272675724535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779839782198326
mentalhealth,CLCutting,2019/03/04,"How do you cope with changing or uncertain diagnoses? Hey r/mentalhealth, F27 in the US here. Long post incoming about the wild ride I’m currently on trying to diagnose my mental health struggles, but with a TLDR at the end! Mostly, though, I’m explaining this because I’d love to hear your thoughts on the question I asked in the title.

So, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety as a teenager. Family history of bipolar, all seemed to make sense, so I never really questioned it. I sought out medication for the first time in my mid 20s. Lamictal has been a godsend for minimizing the bipolar symptoms. However, I’ve never been able to shake the anxiety and all its effects, especially on my energy and inability to focus/remember/think through complicated things. I’ve been trying different medication combos and therapy and self-help and just… nothing. 

My psychiatrist has been trying several strategies for years now, but we just went back to the drawing board and she prescribed me… Adderall and Guanfacine? Which are typically used for ADD/ADHD treatment. She said she doesn’t think I have ADD/ADHD… But also kept saying this should help treat my “ADD/ADHD-like symptoms.” She’s brought this up a few times before now. 

Coincidentally, I have a friend who just had her chronic depression and anxiety re-diagnosed as (drumroll…) ADHD. She was describing her symptoms and how they had gotten misdiagnosed, and not all of them hit home… But lots of them **really** did. 

I also just started seeing a new therapist, and she is the first person I’ve ever opened up to about my childhood… and she thinks I may have CPTSD. Apparently bipolar is a common misdiagnosis for CPTSD. So do I have that instead of bipolar? In addition to? No idea yet, but now we’re exploring that possibility. 

Since that wasn’t enough, my psychiatrist also thinks I might be hypothyroid. My levels of thyroid hormone are *technically* just on the edge of the normal range, so my primary care doctor wouldn’t treat me for it, but many of the hypothyroid symptoms fit with what I’ve been experiencing. My psychiatrist started me on the lowest dose of levothyroxine, and it helped my energy level, but didn’t address everything. She doesn’t want to go up any higher on the dose, though, since my levels are still technically normal and she doesn’t want me to go hyperthyroid.

On top of it all, I have no idea how much of this is coming from my extremely stressful work environment. I am getting my PhD in Chemistry, and am currently six months away from graduation, finishing up my research and trying to write a thesis. I’ve been sexually harassed and bullied in my time here, in addition to it just being a very high-pressure environment and not something I actually enjoy or am passionate about. 

This has been going on for so long now, and I am totally overwhelmed and unsure how to cope. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster trying new medications, unsure how any of them will affect me. I don’t even know what to research or try anymore. 

**TLDR: Docs unsure what combination of bipolar, generalized anxiety, ADD/ADHD, CPTSD, hypothyroidism, or chronic stress I have and I’m just AAAAHHHHHHH**

Now, I know none of you are doctors who can sort out these diagnoses for me, but I wanted to ask y’all: How have you dealt with uncertain or changing diagnoses you’ve received? Do you have good strategies for keeping track of your symptoms or the effects of meds you’re trying? Any advice for someone in this situation or maybe some hopeful stories about going through a time like this and coming out on the other side? ",5.584065683175275,7.69476871993912,6.489707001522068,71.03826264488936,68.8021308980213,9.680939000117084,32.72593958552863,10.035473477838034,3.732484861257465,2887,132,472,76,52,955,296,657,0.101,0.8,0.099,0.6091,6,0,1,0,0,0,93.0,2,7,4,6,39,20,1,7,28,0,51,29,0,11,8,114,92,56,0,8,23,0,1,2,1,5,27,4,1,1,25,37,0,2,16,1,0,12,14,9,0,3,20,7,64,11,82,64,12,78,0,2,1,2,42,35,0,19,32,344,89,7,0.05881902342231295,0.0,0.05739888211404363,0.0,0.3534451794253428,0.057477268942489175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111265534028744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999685875228973,0.0,0.17998556769329024,0.0,0.058332666091861926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997569383069546,0.0,0.05526240870911379,0.04522819833011951,0.0,0.03585553073980452,0.0,0.05005065670660985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059969914461465275,0.0,0.12444545531325216,0.10133476097211436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066073868527882,0.3582004238575882,0.0,0.06145336048534095,0.06741169668318009,0.12040752569632965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05209619634107725,0.060775774511298924,0.0,0.038849410235016035,0.05320517413812405,0.0,0.0,0.052862745579450435,0.0,0.05544934052352776,0.0,0.02974066555623065,0.04202032208549696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000628625506147,0.0,0.0,0.045443431589182834,0.0,0.03073051207249387,0.0,0.13371282598330853,0.04933460619697154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252187139638306,0.06629331423335869,0.0,0.11827545464452507,0.06214552763415001,0.059000276302609324,0.058420561970524226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279903593530734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05228105058862938,0.0,0.0,0.06465079404510009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574720075610174,0.0,0.0,0.10410596960404474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000583032546802,0.05308646508663467,0.0,0.03926215487159603,0.0596332577394475,0.05909161484180098,0.0,0.06533467522253476,0.1777619340686143,0.05927574122773864,0.06239768875787821,0.0,0.0,0.046948783329473866,0.0,0.043238750018975584,0.0,0.090729713882124,0.11361555869160797,0.0,0.0,0.11526030898541667,0.05643843933154344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051358502496867714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630961118799013,0.056332365358760524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317815351977582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536194510301325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595036069545272,0.04677524824815664,0.0,0.0,0.04687114634294914,0.0535466298356484,0.061361069381824965,0.0664487542978276,0.0,0.09731140798790808,0.06611504674715438,0.0,0.0,0.04983716767078024,0.045281757867982934,0.0,0.0,0.08326481503633043,0.0,0.0469729480846891,0.0,0.13475398520304713,0.0614904142601685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056774336880679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726467941213568,0.06829341966913954,0.039076745566512215,0.15075542080378734,0.1155787837438576,0.04669573444864397,0.13719138227042868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27953979145155344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075204298170541,0.050800751037757184,0.0,0.048531854349867634,0.1040789518884852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054525823995063366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04282094958263176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03787752262653546
mentalhealth,GTrustNone,2019/03/04,"What should I do about this waiting list? Hello, My mother and I have been trying to find a psychiatrist for me since I know I have many undiagnosed mental illnesses that I feel need to be treated asap, problem is, almost 2 months ago we went to my usual hospital where I get my checkups and they put me on a waiting list and I haven't heard from them since. Are waiting lists usually this long?

I really need to get help and I feel like I may never get a call back . Anyone have any advice?",2.3866666666666667,4.375530494949498,4.075757575757578,85.43363636363638,77.38383838383841,6.824242424242425,22.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.0347050505050517,385,11,77,6,9,129,67,99,0.07,0.873,0.057,-0.3049,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,11,2,0,0,1,19,24,4,0,4,0,1,2,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,4,5,0,3,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,3,18,2,8,18,0,11,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,8,51,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18257245880566556,0.16561746390084547,0.0,0.1870877100170135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705383046459978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063898912901167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436641567772202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19077885924759172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18893821982220455,0.1334745659302536,0.0,0.0,0.17076329933438866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29283986100903026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523119120601314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267932566840418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127787320072284,0.0,0.0,0.16534260583933014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18942080395254446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18828517816852144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912947271334415,0.0,0.0,0.27707074945834953,0.14409824313998215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17877533278328656,0.0,0.18782022278014002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969093061469012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091027697222429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684832505673835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115434941556478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319740374485088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shecallsmesexbutt,2019/03/04,"Struggling with anxiety and jealousy Hello everyone! Hoping I might ask for some assistance. I’ve been dealing with anxiety for a number of years, and I’ve been having some particularly difficult times over the past few months. I recognize that I have anxiety, and that I suffer from catastrophic thinking as a result. I try to look at those thoughts in a logical manner, sort of like what proof do you have that these events are going to take place or have taken place? And sometimes I’m able to overcome them, or distract myself with something else.
I’ve been suffering from jealousy when it comes to my wife’s friends as well. When she hangs out with her girlfriends, I don’t think anything of it, but when it’s a guy friend, my mind goes into overdrive and the catastrophic thinking takes over. To her credit, she’s been making changes with her friends, she’s introduced me to most of them, at least the ones she sees more often, and she’s made efforts to have us hang out together and I’m welcome to hang out with them when they do meet up.
However, even though she’s told me over and over again that she chose me and she wouldn’t mess around, my mind still goes to dark places. I’ve tried to take things in a positive direction, I treat myself to something nice or I try to hang out with my friends when she’s out with them, and most of the time, It certainly lessens the blow. 
I recognize that I don’t have a problem with her girlfriends, but there’s always a twinge of jealousy that revolves into almost panic whenever they’re male. I love my wife and I really don’t think she’d do anything to hurt us,and before I do anything drastic, I need to get my own feelings under control, because I recognize that what I’m anxious or catastrophizing about is not necessarily reality. 
Does anyone have any advice for me to help me get a better handle on my jealousy? I would greatly appreciate any advice you can provide! Thanks!!!",6.560916422287392,6.838147432795704,6.515835777126102,78.46420821114373,65.26344086021507,9.559335288367548,33.306940371456506,9.339509955726095,2.8822268817204315,1543,61,290,26,22,489,181,372,0.118,0.718,0.165,0.9795,1,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,1,2,5,3,14,25,0,3,13,0,25,1,0,4,2,64,52,25,0,5,7,2,1,1,6,3,0,0,0,2,16,29,0,1,7,0,1,6,5,9,1,1,8,3,52,16,57,40,8,41,0,3,2,1,40,22,0,13,14,201,68,1,0.09730803112942804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901765636376936,0.0,0.0,0.09743993706014777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096807708353089,0.0,0.0,0.13234559600516205,0.0,0.2233211324106564,0.10993037754638836,0.0,0.06804003789011381,0.0,0.2402286553137916,0.08662477820582,0.09096987348737713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059318072596008124,0.0,0.08280196741599677,0.0,0.0,0.08606104588070604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029389943504574,0.08382225257608587,0.0,0.0,0.10913923118148612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003203073131318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851549137886125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128837371480396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427103682708858,0.0,0.0,0.09298199378823056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049201864318232834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30071977387035304,0.0,0.1016788600485033,0.0,0.05530239655531132,0.0,0.0,0.1072824478477219,0.0,0.09635024956499444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522352210079205,0.0,0.0,0.09664883114448193,0.0,0.0,0.10417025989662236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047539788791330896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171423849483454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782429725349576,0.09207521186442706,0.06495386638813827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032284435676748,0.1965067440784243,0.0,0.07767034207474041,0.0,0.0,0.07215267209688549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593844024494003,0.0,0.0,0.11417000834382987,0.0,0.0,0.0928915263462672,0.0,0.0,0.3049985447147214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311064405420473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06233801645605332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754190229689335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982495280740718,0.09624013094691758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777103193578693,0.0,0.0,0.10172748197516082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194905878263076,0.0,0.0,0.08958816131768559,0.0,0.0,0.06464713204640593,0.24940422888660235,0.09560464652480344,0.07725170730421273,0.11348219096405375,0.0,0.0,0.09298199378823056,0.0,0.19819729700988487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340991604536807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874916062100953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912483341054021,0.0,0.0,0.06266318167823112
mentalhealth,Eeffa,2019/03/04,"My friend is spiralling out of control. What do I do? My friend has PTSD and has been going through a bout or emotional numbness. Recently she has been acting reckless and impulsive- picking fights, acting violently, and drinking heavily. This is all very out of character for her. I am worried and tried to express my concern but she snapped that I was just ruining her 'good time' and refuses to speak about it. I know I can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped but I'm not the only one worried for her. For now I'm trying to be supportive and am letting her come to me if she wants to and am not trying to push her. But I'm still worried and don't know what to do. ",3.709927007299272,4.872246598540151,4.825992700729927,84.86380656934308,72.06569343065694,8.107737226277372,31.21824817518248,8.548686976883017,2.3572458394160583,532,24,109,9,10,175,80,137,0.15,0.765,0.085,-0.7521,0,0,1,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,2,0,2,0,20,2,0,2,1,27,30,13,0,3,8,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,6,11,1,2,2,1,0,5,5,4,0,1,3,1,17,4,17,24,1,11,0,1,0,0,17,2,0,2,4,82,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870646319316844,0.0,0.0,0.19362053113388453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911282073127784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941868255672495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667488203321544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811026958958904,0.1447948311162101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314220625318144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18974714762928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765270627515953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697934541187185,0.13129378035297304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017965942562686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045244946395408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626982624306106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786347169364002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19589980073603805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066262081395493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35161568851938146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243879086191955,0.20364466815683185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5259459845718161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HiltonCGG,2019/03/04,"Why do I have to wait so long to get help? It’s been a year since I last saw a therapist and it was only twice. Now I called, to make an appointment. I’m going through a really tough time. I have to wait a MONTH for my appointment. I don’t know if I can wait that long. My insurance doesn’t give me many options for therapists, changing insurance isn’t an option. I just needed someone to listen to me..",1.226382352941176,3.0661974470588262,3.4078676470588256,89.5541544117647,80.41176470588233,7.544117647058822,22.389705882352942,8.472884824447931,1.327970588235294,313,10,70,7,8,107,56,85,0.025,0.937,0.038,0.228,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,1,0,11,21,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,3,2,11,0,9,18,0,8,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,3,7,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269749415556921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351450554058699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613325606383662,0.21323330578664987,0.1263280760039627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899104867822693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216046387151315,0.18118963084682127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39342543974794775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837507017666315,0.22535922521039875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17742350219954864,0.0,0.0,0.16481940769832587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905560174954398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239964578967693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838741026367005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883389557894012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5161734484086391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961451707490554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057507876791006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431424254784385
mentalhealth,bakaoneechan,2019/03/04,"I think I need help but I don’t know how to get it Last year I had what was probably the worst year of life so far. I was in a really bad place and was slowly cutting myself off from everyone. Eventually I was forced to tell people about my problem.

I think I might have anxiety but I haven’t been officially diagnosed. And I was supposed to start seeing a mental health professional but when I was making the phone call to book a session, I panicked and hung up. Besides, I don’t think my mom is willing to pay for a therapist.

I’ve gotten a bit better since but I think I’m spiraling downwards again and I don’t know how to stop it. I’m afraid of going out the house and meeting people I know on the streets, so I haven’t gone outside unless I really needed to.

I really don’t want to burden my family and or have to tell my professors AGAIN that I’m having a problem.  Everything just seems so hopeless and I don’t know what to do.",1.5029635627530382,3.5391542923076926,3.782887989203779,86.22097165991907,80.43589743589743,7.182186234817816,22.570850202429146,8.20500826718156,1.3433076923076928,737,24,154,15,19,254,103,195,0.223,0.738,0.039,-0.9897,0,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,0,1,10,9,1,1,10,0,22,3,0,3,0,34,44,19,0,5,7,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,9,1,1,2,7,8,0,0,10,1,25,1,21,32,2,19,0,1,1,0,7,9,0,3,8,105,30,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664236719506348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639508593540455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328999352096492,0.15219119138780424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234532007042733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149038584968848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320485818412994,0.12528578590544695,0.0,0.13141606871303835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283194079453724,0.0,0.07922553163540788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817811122584088,0.0,0.0,0.09343841380184714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608515214833752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064474027054786,0.11363146882892786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846395718569284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305210835173612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404847164754915,0.14788379583812591,0.0,0.16326627248939365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067300573519904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932879853935379,0.0,0.14564571855930306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502992419786431,0.26677832193878503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26791402194775066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110855734316675,0.12690660555011235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531501148580142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866965549887716,0.0,0.0,0.11654655307989854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436874846590256,0.0,0.0,0.16185679842449846,0.0,0.3572934240905392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222308004519673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954100334363218
mentalhealth,HipHopRandomer,2019/03/04,"My messages are open to any and all who need to vent/talk. No judgement, no bias, just happy to listen and give advice if you want it :) ",2.896071428571428,3.715270750000002,3.7771428571428594,92.91785714285713,73.64285714285714,5.6000000000000005,21.142857142857142,3.1291,-0.29384285714285685,103,2,23,0,2,33,24,28,0.162,0.615,0.223,0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,5,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4363790149730668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30368011555188945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283866889173943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.475377688997399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311229456990037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589327431677352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633961294041925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ilovemydogandket,2019/03/04,Camhs Does anyone who’s been in the camhs (uk) service know how long they typically take to diagnose? and from then what is the process?,4.634615384615387,6.347247846153848,4.456923076923079,86.26307692307695,70.53846153846153,8.276923076923078,28.384615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.0155230769230768,108,4,22,2,2,33,24,26,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,13,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35246829129181445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5116361557906046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4411286044056583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770321992739685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460997910843647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790095500863687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LemonsInABowl,2019/03/04,"I realized how damaging daydreaming was becoming I used to think that sitting/walking around daydreaming was what I needed to escape but I realized that it only kept me yearning and feeling even more dissatisfied with my life. Some advice given to me was to be in the moment, so instead of always imaginging myself being somwhere else doing something else, im going to try to keep my head with where I currently am in my life so that I can appreciate all the good things i got going on and being more coherent with and aware of my life is probably what I need to be able to control it a little bit better. ",12.759615384615381,7.611661521367522,12.458525641025641,57.83855769230772,57.71794871794872,15.802564102564109,46.344017094017104,13.023866798666859,5.897565811965812,486,20,83,12,4,165,75,117,0.05,0.816,0.134,0.8438,2,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,3,0,11,4,1,3,1,22,22,7,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,7,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,6,1,15,2,17,12,5,10,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,1,2,68,23,0,0.1853560048867599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112774274555785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15423104462574816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500614210430428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20471114471572013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639323235263735,0.2023607505519681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207892520621506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096823154396616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224258930935887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372156539554136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068417821590904,0.15546782274292725,0.14824612970123366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19022873622252012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20021629252783366,0.0,0.0,0.16475293373733246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39276728363945945,0.0,0.18577541166621847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748782579722452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097159417785093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998451233402156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269610823689666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314229344102715,0.11876864358399072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584456023039997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600880754173412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,webdevlets,2019/03/04,"Equations for Mental Health? (Not super serious) This isn't super serious, but I would be curious to think what you all think about this:

​

**Given functions over time (t):**

\- arousal(t) (life, vitality, etc.)

\- release(t) (use of life, vitality in action, release of energy, etc. - much more consciously controllable than arousal)

​

**Basic equations:**

depression(t) = arousal(t)

anxiety(t) = 1/release(t)

flow(t) = 1/(arousal(t) - release(t))",5.7739037433155085,8.115612575757577,4.339269162210344,70.86713903743319,112.63636363636364,7.6135472370766495,37.215686274509814,7.5105763829236425,4.997917290552586,354,22,41,10,17,103,51,66,0.0,0.759,0.241,0.9383,0,0,0,0,0,0,67.0,0,1,0,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,2,1,9,7,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,4,8,4,5,4,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,23,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913862276243911,0.4389268936804399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20257180608878775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028604249113076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19198219581829468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25514330764625515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201449677522952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277066069333116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231457856834852,0.0,0.0,0.10531635660999923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599084793247794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830164000582656,0.0,0.4389268936804399,0.0
mentalhealth,NervousTumbleweed,2019/03/04,"Honestly it should be considered unethical to list yourself as in-network with an insurance plan you only accept out of network. Seriously.

 I don't care about any argument claiming these people are trying to reach as many possible patients as they can. 

They want as many possible *clients* as they can. They're not doing this to get more resources out there for people in need. They do it so their name pops up regardless of what insurance filters you put on your search.

If you do not accept an insurance plan as in-network, and you have your practice listed on websites designed for people to find a therapist/counselor as accepting that insurance plan in-network, you are a shitty person.

I've been struggling to find a counselor that accepts my insurance. I have *good* health insurance. I'm sick of getting e-mailing practices about a consultation, just for them to tell me ""We do work with XXXXX Insurance, out-of-network! Are you ok with that?""

No. I'm not. That's why I specifically put my insurance into my search. ",4.0108790593505015,6.792599180851068,4.839160134378499,77.99184210526317,75.80851063829788,8.213213885778277,31.703247480403128,8.99025400887824,3.300942553191489,818,41,136,20,19,264,106,188,0.116,0.792,0.092,-0.7663,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,8,6,4,5,10,0,1,6,1,15,2,0,0,0,24,22,10,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,9,8,0,0,6,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,0,22,8,31,19,1,9,0,0,0,0,19,7,0,1,0,93,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913850166804996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786228196735298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32024982715118105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306415027246595,0.0,0.0,0.1469451231591925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18622392678688648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552401479772995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990475700655374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324357351209135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36437413741072666,0.15297338027879492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3950117264037477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3522384149011529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315168992115916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312801575955365,0.0,0.0,0.20341471712933554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189457990451714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333445818587793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808609697594722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754393305767706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,techguy404,2019/03/04,"lack of passion... So Im just really starting my journey here on mental health checking myself after having a conversation with a friend of mine at work. Its come to my attention that I really have no passion towards pretty much anything. I wake up and just go through the motions and then go to sleep. I have no passion for really doing anything, the only thing that drives me to get up in the morning and finish my day is just because I know I have to.

​

Just going to say this is probably going to get a little dark but Im sorry its how I feel, Im 30, married, just had a kid recently and honestly the only reason I get up and go to work is because I have to pay bills, the only reason I feed and change diapers is because its required of me to do so as a parent and take care of the child, the only reason I talk to my wife and go out of my way to take care of her is because its what a husband should do...none of these things I really want to do but I do them just because its what a man should do. I have no drive or passion to do any of it or anything really, Im just here, Im present and just basically going down a check list of things each day to say theyre done. 

​

Im not sure where Im going with this but writing this and reading this outloud this cant be the thoughts of a normal person right? Somewhere in this text says something like yea this person needs help? and what kind of help he needs? I personally dont feel bad, I dont feel like out of place, I physically feel fine or just feel nothing or anything I just feel like I exist and thats it. After talking with my friend I can acknowledge that I do lack feelings for others, if someone was to get hurt in front of me it just doesnt phase me, but on the flip side Ive had the postpartum of childbirth (if men can have that) and randomly think of losing my child and that makes me tear up a bit, that feels normal. 

​

Should I be seeking help?",4.6612777777777765,4.484428340740742,5.792237654320989,83.59131944444445,69.2962962962963,8.429012345679013,29.467592592592588,7.9370924344782425,1.7840555555555555,1518,51,323,17,24,508,174,405,0.06,0.7979999999999999,0.142,0.9892,1,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,1,4,17,18,0,0,20,1,35,8,2,5,1,75,68,29,0,12,22,3,8,3,2,3,1,3,0,8,30,21,1,1,16,1,4,14,8,3,0,0,5,11,38,15,53,58,5,43,0,2,0,4,26,19,0,7,12,225,68,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981345664612946,0.224084276990464,0.04180281643127285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20234365545436075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132624347561676,0.1873626758000415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671110990746611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534884754642456,0.0,0.06502883381603665,0.0529523662752969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792882320082005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290682010335323,0.14408858535957725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486552256220156,0.08783068967575644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949856578821552,0.0,0.12846555835172271,0.0,0.279485952076074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653414682708795,0.0,0.0,0.12360941370232514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580665142626492,0.0,0.464799363773968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401324325708764,0.033783200290046465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009580026892508,0.06161072255346151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687710302663996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041032790437830084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061948944875780114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04518872115208036,0.09116086965445476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045829170267068,0.05898368699586533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870077788855218,0.0,0.0,0.06825697056747174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102396903940586,0.06422476990226691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253874727847929,0.06627681423146728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148826521267831,0.0,0.196901501618567,0.1896092215360661,0.060695818747382314,0.0,0.0,0.052496436244255984,0.0,0.14665412267776035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151602419265844,0.0,0.0520847127147761,0.047323864095847004,0.0,0.06881245715899817,0.04350993618924034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057936283897991415,0.0,0.09243803121777652,0.09881713556744387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251705876055405,0.039388538463052236,0.0,0.04880160786482789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03625756011776104,0.048793318717658934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950415769686414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224084276990464,0.0
mentalhealth,Rosebudding-94,2019/03/04,"Anxiety attacks in dreams? I dreamt last night that I was having anxiety attacks so I woke up basically having one around 4am. Slept very restlessly until getting up at 7. It's almost 8 now and my heart hasn't stopped racing. I don't feel like I'm still having a full attack, it's mostly just my heart. I've had a couple of anxiety attacks over the last year or so but they're not super common for me. Any ideas or suggestions?",1.1677272727272765,3.55461122727273,3.396545454545457,86.38481818181822,84.45454545454547,6.247272727272727,21.3,7.554174236665415,1.0472690909090905,340,11,67,6,10,116,67,88,0.237,0.725,0.038,-0.9144,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,4,1,3,0,7,3,3,0,0,12,12,7,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,5,0,1,4,1,7,2,9,8,2,16,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,4,10,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086492287776393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245443879035793,0.0,0.34576505727124585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411996023003814,0.0,0.6855931613484336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670319310424894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617857410181239,0.10763203041706763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787139947044889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35706729731113324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007758586504915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456171492366545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360520527842843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413848559668094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209158587707567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031782542608285,0.12595908693189253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431085161492696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702054779988292
mentalhealth,ella206950,2019/03/04,"Just a message (TW) So i had a bad week and it all crashed down on Saturday and i had a huge break down. All that I could think of was self harming but i did not do it I’ve been clean for over 2 years and I didn’t want to start again that was the only reason  that I could think of that stopped me doing it. When I woke up on Sunday morning I feel so glad that I didn’t do it and that it would of been a huge mistake. So I just want to say no matter how strong the urge is , how hard it is to resist it will pass. And you will feel better for not doing it i promise. And if you do end up doing it it’s just a bump in the road. ",-1.1673563218390797,0.4000237586206907,1.2820689655172437,103.08816091954023,87.27586206896551,4.142528735632183,15.183908045977011,4.604124745555138,-1.3414229885057471,475,8,130,1,15,161,76,145,0.113,0.716,0.171,0.8695,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,2,10,7,0,0,8,0,22,0,0,3,2,30,30,14,0,7,7,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,16,6,0,1,5,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,10,4,14,4,16,15,2,22,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,1,9,99,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21011195732756915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22255838078911264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4018339958541356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228816041078613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544772060904376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254233048010828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19138635421363304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25873160892975194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20011715046981884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262519234303702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17811468825420534,0.0,0.0,0.21038538002359355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224862118216688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296851918566138,0.0,0.2018533770436828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876044659615253,0.0,0.0,0.16205027613460252
mentalhealth,Anomalousalienx,2019/03/04,"Help? So I've gotten to the point where I'm paranoid af, and severely depressed and anxious. After a year and a half of talking with my therapist, she said she doesn't know how to help me anymore. I've been thinking about admitting myself to a ward, but my boyfriend is worried that they won't let me out or will keep me in longer than needed. I can't talk to my parents and my friends don't know what to do anymore. My psychiatrist seems not to know what to do and told me that if I continue to go untreated, I'll become psychotic. I seemed to be getting better, but stress is hurting me physically and mentally and there's really no way I can stop it. I'm trying to be more positive, but people around me are being more depressing and that's been affecting my motivation and mood overall. What do I do? ",3.797126789366054,5.035377460122703,5.271917177914112,81.45895961145195,71.94478527607363,8.868916155419223,30.147750511247445,9.2995712137729,2.638648670756646,638,27,128,14,12,215,100,163,0.156,0.7290000000000001,0.115,-0.6485,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,6,7,0,1,4,0,19,0,0,3,0,31,35,16,0,2,6,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,7,12,0,2,8,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,5,1,21,2,18,24,2,11,0,3,0,0,12,5,0,4,4,92,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964776740060867,0.3154109761925449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156185354390913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562551743518898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406406045144901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739280426201618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285875204564806,0.0,0.0830815858512108,0.0,0.09037494726034616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131760190210773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023460700908138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134462135300865,0.0,0.0,0.2621803282907857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626091137343298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16025514225369908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791159771760035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657331452586725,0.0,0.0,0.11024470978868436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032566016070112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018725281443401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126479781917382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895323653077285,0.0,0.17964776740060867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294815914196467,0.1821573093873147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556291176422456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18463491906446225,0.0,0.10189383930943416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519507889024045,0.0,0.10796440046075613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622297680465605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149291613849087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024039118028372
mentalhealth,Colonelangus1234,2019/03/04,"What do you do to boost your mental health after being ghosted? After a seemingly great first date and plenty of positive texting and conversation I’ve been ghosted. She asked how my morning was and if I was up to anything that day and then boom nothing. I understand it’s a part of dating culture these days (even though it’s a disgraceful practice) but it leaves you feeling so inadequate and empty.

I understand the move on already mantra but damn if it doesn’t blow.  

So, what are some things you do or tell yourself in these situations? ",7.1105882352941165,7.476957313725491,7.120392156862747,74.29176470588237,64.09803921568627,9.937254901960783,35.627450980392155,9.725611199111238,3.4645568627450976,434,19,76,8,6,139,74,102,0.107,0.812,0.081,-0.6996,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,1,5,2,1,0,4,0,9,1,0,1,0,16,14,15,2,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,10,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,2,9,1,9,10,2,12,0,0,0,0,9,3,1,5,8,60,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344687632865342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17484682039857502,0.0,0.1986331702671196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740544590939306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033612790602426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743251494066733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807290585957101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23425175734653356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258484051142299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22497777188666654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141223754064252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225824715424418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20387316031142835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23008708685751905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934270468481665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23882806973627144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571039035805129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411573336840633,0.0,0.2087532201979387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423828750209564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GiraffeNinja6,2019/03/04,"How to approach asking a new doctor about anxiety meds? My excuse for not trying medication to relieve my anxiety is that ""I have too much anxiety to ask about anxiety meds"". In other words, I'm too scared to ask. I've been seeing a therapist since September and even he says he would recommend I try medication.

I'm going to see a new physicians assistant today about a few things unrelated to anxiety and seeing as he's not my real doctor, just said doctors assistant while I'm on the waiting list for a physical....is it bad to bring it up first time I ever meet him? A family friend just got a new doctor too and she got prescribed anxiety medication and a sleep aid on her first visit, but it was with a pcp not a pa. 

I'm not asking for medication advice nor if I should be or not be taking it, I'm simply asking **How do I approach the conversation about starting (or restarting, since I used to take cymbalta) anxiety medication if it's my first ever time at a new practice?** 

or is it to weird to mention first day. Only reason I'm considering asking today is my first physical probably wont be until August or September.",4.04549284578696,5.58533646396396,6.458797032326447,72.0154292527822,71.74774774774775,9.908214096449393,29.275039745627986,10.194018383442646,3.3358677265500782,893,36,159,26,17,319,113,222,0.083,0.884,0.033,-0.7343,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,5,14,5,0,1,13,0,13,11,1,4,2,30,38,17,0,4,14,1,0,0,1,3,10,2,0,0,9,5,0,1,1,0,0,5,7,3,0,5,5,5,14,2,25,27,2,30,0,0,3,0,21,5,0,6,20,109,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291810995890315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3995903667780723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185595392629329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062304847639587414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04812393115453718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055082247345272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049286015488834656,0.13499669728804287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034539364577122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173600167732825,0.0,0.0,0.05765147165996196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04240844566624395,0.0,0.11936136808949975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16577270004853142,0.3758605936285334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05485451877548175,0.0,0.0,0.2882750678361685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567521134505747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804533223767003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493425699064318,0.0,0.07672211367191116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098100916230883,0.05934107096366794,0.07470795474147522,0.0,0.1783881941061652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234533943325991,0.0,0.07467420670553371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052816644303350015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221038324893272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663993917119775,0.0495744227671305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870234136195529,0.0,0.1414626704133127,0.0,0.0,0.1013245938089202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444799515217918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300813209689945,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gloriaborgerye,2019/03/04,"Does anybody else is struggling with borderline personality disorder? 3 years ago ive been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Although im like that since i was born. I had terrible thoughts about hurting myself so agressive and killing myself since i can remember myself ( my first suicidal thought was at my 4). Im 17(f) and im used to be struggling all my life . My brother happent to have psychosis but now he is better . My family as you can see its quite interesting. My parents are super sweet its not their fault. Well 4-3 years ago i lost my sense of reallity and i was sitting alone in my room with the lights off doing nothing or talking to the other me ( the agressive me and the disgusting me) or leaving the house to go walk alone in the winter to jump over the hill.I have tried to commit suicide so many times but i was always scared. Although i did went to a hospital to get stitches. My psychiatrist told my parents that they have to get me to a clinic the fastest they could but i begged them that i wouldnt hurt myself again. My life was  shit and i have no childhood to remember as ""the good times"". Does anybody have a fucked up story like mine? Or better does anybody have borderline personality disorder . Its a quite rare disorder i think. Sorry about my grammar im not from america or England. ",2.9143156199677938,5.583646972332017,4.155353535353537,81.96043771043773,79.27667984189723,7.226409017713365,28.73795930317669,8.285830014693849,2.4047298784950963,1056,49,192,22,27,345,136,253,0.215,0.655,0.13,-0.9695,2,2,0,0,0,6,26.0,0,1,4,7,7,21,4,3,13,0,24,6,1,1,2,27,36,18,3,2,9,3,0,2,0,1,4,0,1,3,7,8,0,0,5,0,0,4,4,12,1,1,13,3,38,9,26,20,1,25,0,3,1,1,14,7,2,4,15,131,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574364569770899,0.0,0.0,0.18394561502585932,0.0,0.0,0.07389095365290717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707752935595976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090172369178238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013286318776252,0.0,0.0,0.4071023145510753,0.0,0.23313550283207296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418325432730957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371527486375825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553552452553343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820966578882275,0.09279148284049574,0.0,0.0504686163726911,0.0744834849085773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024663837923686,0.1901302370832333,0.0,0.3836885842958557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982470215823982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402922882512342,0.0,0.0,0.12544793525931708,0.08676901951432738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693862854319993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003199164399323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520857808068856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19720976094822204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326172563562937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890518795093106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20119227817187715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890698653539737,0.0,0.07076424827116745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115468729978736,0.1469170091144802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940734340950147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18567170980481348,0.0,0.19427146376914567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137624011448084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690117939471059,0.0,0.14099883632248436,0.10356312777818023,0.0,0.0,0.08485477784624987,0.0,0.06029119876623455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766970138194283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984428496207331,0.08232098524206627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143720443886318
mentalhealth,signoragrigia,2019/03/04,"Stressing too much about jobs causing me to have stress induced panic attacks I'm 26 and I haven't been able to hold onto a job for more than a year due to either the work itself/environment/staff starting to make me feel agitated, upset and feeling like I'm trapped.

I got a degree in filmmaking when I was still in college but that has taken me nowhere so I have resorted to working entry level jobs, which isn't all bad.

The point of all of this back story is that I have constant headaches induced from the stress of thinking about how I am not amounting to anything. I feel pretty much like a failure most times and would want nothing more than to just be content in a full-time job. I'm so tired of feeling stressed and like a failure, I have never felt so low in my life. I sometimes get these thoughts when I am out with my boyfriend or family and just panic and clam up.",4.54550847457627,5.41370723728814,4.895833333333336,86.23324152542375,69.84745762711864,7.0299435028248585,31.13418079096045,6.816661863887847,1.6763977401129946,699,29,140,5,12,221,109,177,0.219,0.674,0.107,-0.9714,4,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,13,13,1,7,9,0,14,2,0,5,3,33,30,14,0,2,6,0,5,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,9,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,6,5,15,3,25,22,9,20,0,1,0,0,0,10,0,2,13,97,20,7,0.11706642702597952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633569473635584,0.0,0.0,0.13317996100018145,0.0,0.09001685630368564,0.0977455766987693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025946798713215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265072190049635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103598087548968,0.0,0.23676921182759955,0.0836322788583379,0.11240212841222254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116237638248297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936287159143071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4646814607090536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826874794740021,0.17157822897377728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814274907554497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17211458739965355,0.0,0.09028884543873987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232839403042393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747044574884308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066561275274496,0.0,0.0,0.1190986424256347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578168970948187,0.0,0.08286021958658146,0.0,0.09348939984381577,0.0,0.536396786528358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501143950310173,0.0,0.09293766661183607,0.06826237502211684,0.13455063669925968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904881174646035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045150625865954,0.0,0.0,0.08316063095937765,0.0,0.0,0.07538694083115459
mentalhealth,capers514,2019/03/04,Experience with Paroxetine Doctor prescribed paroxetine for my depression. I am having second thoughts in taking it since I have read that it can cause weight gain. Is it worth giving a shot? ,6.335454545454546,9.305102545454552,5.863636363636368,72.61545454545455,69.0,9.248484848484848,29.181818181818183,9.725611199111238,3.3887454545454547,156,6,23,4,3,48,29,33,0.099,0.695,0.206,0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,0,3,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,0,3,7,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,17,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408170843299869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857512575683554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395785649925616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32453272589307164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182620579940175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318577408484639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744418846815221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494482166825381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633867011823764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040039961385317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SneakZ,2019/03/04,"Brother has anxiety/depression questions. I don't know anything about this and I'm not trying to be a dick but idk how to handle it. The Dr doubles his dose and he can't work on all the med he on so he's home (23 lives with his gf).  I've been dragging him in errands with me and stuff but idk if there is anything I can do to help.  

My instinct is to tell em cheer up but my wife says that's not gonna help lol",-0.6748387096774167,1.1230650107526934,1.6133440860215058,100.06001612903226,87.06451612903227,4.580215053763442,20.052688172043013,5.6839178017228535,-0.3573518279569896,318,10,81,2,10,107,68,93,0.08800000000000001,0.79,0.122,0.7353,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,1,9,3,1,1,1,15,12,9,0,1,6,2,0,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,8,1,11,9,2,4,0,0,0,1,14,4,1,2,0,49,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44757131850058135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342238366466667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645548997363185,0.0,0.2727806865324334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494525881034681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401303736271949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020670186384943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046380449065179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21625973858859507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31130931332228995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23768989359467954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18463123275217536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797751395622573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lonelydarkness4,2019/03/04,I'm going to kill myself I have no one else to say goodbye to. I'm alone and the darkness has taken me. I say goodbye to this shitty world. All the pain all the suffering. You can say that I'm weak that I'm not strong enough. I've been strong enough for to long now. I don't have any strength left in me. I don't have anything left to give. I don't have any breaths to breath. I hurt and just want this hurt to go away. I'm sorry if I inconvenienced any of you. I always am. Take care world. I won't be here much longer.,-1.2813505747126437,0.6992912672413816,0.7518620689655187,103.44601149425293,93.22413793103449,3.782988505747127,14.629885057471268,5.2151,-1.285607356321839,401,8,104,2,15,131,65,116,0.322,0.642,0.036000000000000004,-0.9873,0,1,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,2,0,3,3,10,1,0,3,0,13,4,2,0,2,8,25,3,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,2,3,14,4,12,21,5,10,0,3,0,0,6,6,0,1,2,60,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702445963810222,0.0,0.0,0.1367745089120994,0.0,0.0,0.3353451981132765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526794567551473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443723768661569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675929108063637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731556677127738,0.0,0.0,0.3396899611522616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576850241500776,0.18683803303644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3519371251933642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18185836648056644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35719133925242885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454681287687331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083572305185132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138584622217623,0.0,0.17490830431519785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3921566377738984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18400615914308266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359075511451385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695358446150504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,icantreachher,2019/03/04,"My Friend Has Become Delusional **tl;dr –** **my friend has become delusional (schizophrenic?) after rejection, what do we do?**

​

**BACKSTORY** (cut very short, some details faked):

My friend **Amy** (f/24) has been dating friend Ben (m/23) for a couple of years. Ben's best friend Chris (m/24) developed feelings for Amy. Amy rejected him softly, but fast forward 1 year, Amy has lingering feelings for Chris. Amy is also depressed because she thinks she tore Ben and Chris apart. Ben and Amy split, but Chris is already in a different relationship. Amy knows she can’t be with Chris anymore but still wants to keep in contact. Chris rejects Amy in a harsh way, and Amy is crushed because she had trusted Chris. She breaks down and has suicidal thoughts, but her friends support her and she seemed to be getting over it.

​

**SYMPTOMS** A couple of days later, however, she starts saying weird stuff (she is not taking drugs):

\- “I am thankful to everyone, my parents, all the singer songwriters and artists”

\- “I haven’t slept for 2 days straight, music is a drug”

\- “Some higher power is at work making \[Chris and I\] complement each other”

\- “I’ve won, I love the world, all I had to do was accept that I’m insane, I’m so high right now and I’m so happy“

\- “Chris triggered a PTSD in me. I spiritually and mentally died. Old me is not here anymore.”

Other things:

\- According to her there are 12 souls (her close friends) connected through music, and she needs to save them

\- Chris is her twin?soulmate? And they belong together, they are the same beings, twin flames

\- Chris is the ocean and she is the water

\- She doesn’t eat at all (49kg / 168cm as of early Feb), doesn't exercise

\- This has been going on for a month

​

Basically she is weird… like very weird. She seems to have gone through some transformation after deep introspection (she is a serious, serious thinker) and now has a spiritual/delusional take on the world. As much as I’d want to believe this is her way of getting over her shock, it makes me very worried when she says things like *“me and Chris are going to be one forever / we have telepathy*”, and that Chris has already broken up with her girlfriend (all of which I have confirmed with Chris that is **not** true). She has also been trying to drag her best friend into her beliefs and I find that disturbing. She doesn’t respond when we ask more about her beliefs / her situation with Chris, so we don’t know how to approach this (we are all out of country and there is nobody around her who we can trust).

She currently lives with her parents. She doesn’t have a job. All she does these days is make playlists on Spotify.

Regarding her PTSD – she has a history of being abandoned by mean friends during high school, and we think that’s what she is referring to.

​

Given all of that I have a couple of questions:

1. Is this, in any way, a transition that can result in something healthy? I know this sounds off but have there been accounts of this kind of behavior leading to a better recovery?
2. Is this considered schizophrenic / psychotically delusional? I’ve read that it could get better in a month or can develop into something even worse (so not really an answer), but is there any medication that can help?
3. What is the best course of action here? We may be able to meet her in person in a month’s time, but until then, should we be aiming to do something, or leave her alone without confronting it?
4. We want her to see a psychiatrist but we don’t know if she’ll accept it, what are some other non-offensive remedies that she might allow?

And please don’t judge her dating choices, it's unrelated to the subject...

​

Thank you.",2.1892014901198564,5.0454276836734735,2.846515063168124,88.23051441528996,86.30320699708454,5.96434078393262,23.802980239714927,7.3871296695380915,1.3534443019112403,2885,111,536,50,90,899,314,686,0.092,0.758,0.149,0.9933,7,2,5,0,0,0,179.0,11,1,3,9,21,43,2,1,26,0,79,11,1,8,8,110,120,44,2,7,16,2,3,2,10,4,7,3,0,1,36,41,2,2,21,3,1,7,14,14,0,1,12,7,77,29,73,96,18,70,3,5,1,1,83,34,0,12,29,363,113,5,0.055607857808217226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057592970236861524,0.12272930773669755,0.0889391675973313,0.0,0.30125545351242883,0.33784816910165105,0.07563050036856779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102961053372388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04950278299979727,0.051985840541662505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779606797282685,0.12282902012334294,0.0,0.06265101333803068,0.1750710481125945,0.0983612626134714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04439834960728957,0.18458711095929886,0.0,0.10758740388900943,0.0,0.04789496644722525,0.0,0.057712177056415376,0.05809837588037221,0.0,0.0,0.04866281110271185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897492146222309,0.05690072105472704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03672846563213001,0.0,0.0,0.05313569115814516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056234007474025655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082457461542544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866624370123588,0.0,0.08715843172530581,0.0,0.06320645415199183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059195598660761566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03727277492551274,0.11750550971526336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05518221844143519,0.04942681904667354,0.0,0.05790702673954942,0.12224249752111553,0.0,0.0,0.058880692278085185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054334380927403864,0.0,0.04910275722783844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050188262747637206,0.0,0.1113560306672325,0.0,0.0,0.06057325915527456,0.0,0.05601906649842665,0.056039641562943054,0.058991149497616774,0.0,0.0,0.13315698471782894,0.0,0.04087817381116416,0.04123252196018525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835109252119235,0.0,0.037681323593519576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234918906994637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048554636543071066,0.0,0.06104072914712705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000522000645304,0.0,0.06229352720131705,0.0,0.05562290608427866,0.0,0.035623817632522,0.0,0.0,0.05970202862618891,0.0,0.04748880673204445,0.0,0.08844320093015492,0.0,0.05627812086375651,0.04431226309952844,0.10124661052704333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250556205434571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842893708468345,0.0,0.0,0.03935952796872956,0.0,0.04440850707724054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365769312699028,0.06082597092164992,0.06310313805783617,0.0,0.05779785613121428,0.08362037717697453,0.0,0.0,0.1023924886369812,0.0,0.0,0.07388677963824128,0.07126253987323773,0.0,0.044146427641731774,0.03242538907451815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037754085256126384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764691925330974,0.09839686585560756,0.132416787586309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360399055608797,0.0,0.0404831827707722,0.05647247887389744,0.056669157818773415,0.0,0.0,0.33784816910165105,0.07161927450651609
mentalhealth,emz0rmay,2019/03/04,"Does it annoy anyone else that in TV shows it’s depicted that if a character is on antidepressants they take them whenever they’re in a stressful situation? I mean I don’t know about you but I don’t carry my meds around and take pills 10 times a day. It’s kind of a once a day thing. Less dramatic though, I guess.
And don’t even get me started on when they don’t even drink water with their pills! ",3.2885714285714265,4.205258333333337,4.479523809523811,87.88214285714287,72.80952380952381,8.457142857142857,23.523809523809533,8.841846274778883,1.28032380952381,316,8,72,6,6,104,58,84,0.062,0.938,0.0,-0.5255,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,4,0,6,3,1,1,5,0,5,4,0,0,0,9,12,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,2,3,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,11,1,8,12,1,10,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,5,44,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018747492300308,0.22007966145061636,0.0,0.19121030951670934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27704598342549697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18796581947606456,0.0,0.0,0.21041426784935333,0.0,0.0,0.17943105217755487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837360187051367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221989079721677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366174689404249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236726873741009,0.11804399859298716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23397132301760346,0.2385853545638452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287463395119566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414350697611541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203079643750894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24604336999498155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229935214345173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269817925063796,0.0,0.2110319291070352,0.0,0.12524687109336322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YoungMasterGandalf,2019/03/04,"I run a YouTube channel about Aspergers and Anxiety! (Admin permission granted to share this here)  

Hi there! I am an activist for Autism and Aspergers. My channel is about raising awareness of these conditions and discussing my own first-hand experience. I also talk about Anxiety and how it affects me on a regular basis.

If anyone took the time to check out my videos, I'd be very grateful. The channel isn't monetized, my goal is to help as many people as I can!

Joe

[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCotuCdv8AAuKTRRbnL3ki-A](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCotuCdv8AAuKTRRbnL3ki-A)

​

(I have permission from admin simmaltree to share this content here)",9.408415841584162,13.463401970297033,7.509396039603961,59.21320297029706,63.95049504950496,8.792475247524752,34.85247524752475,9.3871,4.02441306930693,553,25,71,12,10,164,71,101,0.033,0.836,0.131,0.8711,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,5,0,7,0,0,2,0,8,8,9,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,4,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,10,2,14,6,1,5,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,51,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127005350602093,0.0,0.2881843753789408,0.3231893811391574,0.0,0.0,0.406941104529148,0.0,0.0,0.18597627465205416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601751048146815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22623864974599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827779107915098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696574406734146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18439394289791514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378105585256307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509247032558068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955086000798511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21945766726849755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231893811391574,0.0
mentalhealth,SadClownBoner,2019/03/04,"Im a closed person, a locked box. Can someone kindly PM me. Try to get me to open up a little? ""Beat me outta me"" I want you to do that, ask me anything deep and without judgement. Ive been through a lot so I kind of just need to open up a little and don't really have anyone close enough to do so. ",-1.3550373134328346,0.4999137014925381,1.5896828358208952,98.58213619402989,91.08955223880596,3.9470149253731344,15.83768656716418,5.148860815047168,-0.9511179104477612,226,5,56,1,8,79,45,67,0.0,0.924,0.076,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,11,11,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,9,2,10,10,2,9,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,0,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571058540032302,0.0,0.19502453916066465,0.0,0.221555887633874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24487648496614825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238187392597204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559924430646484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.493582197607728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4750572582614849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20148245014364552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572684998621546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693260868637708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182338987392774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008028780878863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090227230282916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397842484792186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22845220130381425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,makennakatona,2019/03/04,"Psychiatric hospitalization I really hope at least one person replies.. 

So basically I work in a mental hospital, I love my job so much . But I’ve been really suffering lately with my mental health. I have considered admitting myself to a mental hospital. (Not the one I work at)
 My question is do you think I can get in trouble for conflict of interest ? I really need help but I love my job so much I don’t want to jeopardize losing it. ",1.7328246753246788,4.474059273809528,4.666753246753245,75.2055194805195,87.21428571428572,9.245021645021646,24.303030303030305,9.339509955726095,3.183466666666668,345,14,61,13,11,123,54,84,0.105,0.706,0.189,0.8039,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,3,7,0,0,3,0,6,3,0,0,0,11,14,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,15,4,9,13,3,5,0,2,0,2,7,4,0,2,1,45,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851700719816277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800897078246157,0.0,0.0,0.1135612844701699,0.0,0.0,0.16827618401758535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33625420262624417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111756504417068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954203318680649,0.0,0.0,0.3058234110198682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5122183971963704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24909215555148545,0.1256256923478501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296120702774499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793443482092844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897935685576466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32561191079802343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085600089983138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993061957181416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466852679510446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uptowndrunkasfuck,2019/03/04,"Any tips for anxiety First time posting here and it’s like 3am where I’m at,not even sure if anyone’s gonna see this but I figured it’s worth a shot. I’ve been struggling with anxiety/depression for close to two years now. It started when I was playing college football (American football) at a small military school. Long story short I had a really awful experience there. I ended up having to leave the school and give up my scholarship because mentally I just couldn’t handle it anymore. After I left it was better for awhile, still had bad days here and there but I felt like I was making improvements. But once I started back at a new school it started to get bad again. I can’t even sleep some nights I just lay there crying and freaking out over shit that shouldn’t matter. It’s started to happen a lot more frequently recently and I’m really not sure what to do. I’m afraid if I don’t get this under control now I won’t ever be able to. I don’t know if I should be taking medication for this or something, but I’ve heard those can sometimes have some weird side effects in certain people, so I’m trying to find other ways to control it before I try that.
If anyone has any ways that could help me control this shit I would be so grateful. I don’t care what it is , if it helped you even a little, tell me please. ",2.4301506765067638,4.31723706273063,3.79234778597786,87.98502844403446,76.89667896678965,6.583087330873308,23.83779212792128,7.492282038375204,1.057616113161132,1048,34,214,14,24,344,152,271,0.142,0.713,0.145,-0.4837,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,6,20,16,2,2,7,1,25,4,3,5,4,43,45,18,0,10,13,0,1,2,0,5,1,1,0,0,21,8,0,3,5,1,2,0,8,8,0,2,8,3,22,8,22,27,4,40,0,0,1,0,6,15,2,9,24,139,43,5,0.1025378877163269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945855964219253,0.0,0.07844120344444945,0.0,0.1016900318622482,0.14339375043179184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884530636777431,0.17122970646540348,0.06250614462960782,0.0,0.08725219017430899,0.0,0.0,0.09068642903203053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045442103187787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450148801422752,0.0818681597576261,0.0,0.1126330548481096,0.06612845482922729,0.0,0.08831573243983364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081813365916372,0.0,0.0,0.20317592333634926,0.09275138984427657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030172966460603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984524522957456,0.0,0.09371777174226034,0.08721867491000343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714362847307184,0.09836368525106763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067391547097337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374579694606897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635214149146416,0.0,0.0,0.10857281778939032,0.11140771502559947,0.0,0.0,0.10018966509885924,0.10276990116140444,0.0,0.09074280394979664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717404534685667,0.0,0.0,0.06844483627039523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329613434129292,0.10333407364948233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903173091044952,0.0,0.09622486151476388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091995039432532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108686061839466,0.0,0.0,0.1125558091627464,0.0,0.0,0.09820295234212426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137679300750446,0.0,0.10124379385692728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113214498164505,0.08170942088483685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105073364635387,0.0,0.0,0.1026119393525418,0.0,0.0,0.0789386755119736,0.1014125928384472,0.0,0.2903073787409116,0.0,0.08188688958384789,0.0,0.0,0.10719486360339248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932814913731643,0.0,0.07709573056510093,0.0,0.08962263340441692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979066691524019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392329899913269,0.0,0.10016461696103462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277960504681604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283997347795723,0.0,0.0,0.06603103785261041
mentalhealth,friendlyfire69,2019/03/04,Can I get a PM? I'm feeling pretty awful and would love to have someone listen non-judgementally,2.6557894736842123,5.2230811578947405,4.883421052631579,76.97144736842105,79.52631578947368,5.905263157894738,25.28947368421053,7.1686216300943375,1.5423473684210527,78,3,13,1,2,27,18,19,0.131,0.48,0.389,0.7096,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,3,8,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266462266163762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753308217574193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4756295639337037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5361388655695629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4465173992704203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743589803758605,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,statuesofbees,2019/03/04,"what is happening to me so just as preface (idk) i have a history with mnetal health issues depression anxiety self harm that sort of thing. it's varied over the years, I go from suicidal to peachy to so anxious i can barely breath all the time. I'm used to it. But something weird has been happening lately. 

I just got out of a depressive episode (approx a month of really bad shit details upon request I guess but idk if its relevent) which is good because now I can actually go to class and stuff.

I've been really anxious which is normal for me but I've also been like.. twitching sometimes? idk what to call it. Its like my body just fills with an itch to jerk my head to the side violently and if i dont do it i get so anxiously full of enegry that i feel like I might scream. I'm 20 and this isnt something thats happened to me before, at least not this frequently. I mean everyone gets twitchy from time to time but this sometimes goes on like in an ""attack"" for upwards of 20 minutes at a time and it hurts. 

If anyone has any advice I would really apreciate it.",1.9906298003072216,4.123720474654377,3.611428571428572,87.57523809523809,79.27649769585253,7.082642089093702,24.158218125960055,8.11559375814309,1.465590476190476,841,30,173,16,21,279,125,217,0.193,0.748,0.059,-0.977,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,8,16,4,0,9,0,16,7,5,1,1,27,30,16,1,5,11,0,1,4,0,2,3,1,0,1,20,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,11,0,0,4,2,17,5,29,24,3,21,0,3,0,0,3,9,1,6,13,114,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.11304197434324607,0.0,0.0,0.1131963502043018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926362592032738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877436707678569,0.0,0.08861637707906475,0.3925946691897964,0.0,0.08099719344594099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178337609145668,0.0,0.0,0.09672057266447684,0.0706142669799622,0.0,0.09857030037710306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286708104446356,0.0,0.0,0.11828438256371587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19954360474452607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576222948220734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106889527312989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058571585873027514,0.08275527320629647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104200044703425,0.0,0.13166773713585886,0.09716010281997682,0.09264688313190357,0.0,0.12760951546913,0.0,0.3073076469422625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888404458623028,0.12313124440715295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400784822882405,0.0,0.0,0.1209056279035772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306712298898914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22637197676635004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618242979965694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288667778636317,0.0,0.0,0.09246143766410583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349744464741293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22262793501445932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084514846391575,0.0,0.1189068798464648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835675966508838,0.22913510178108856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260772998220138,0.1267088631658799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769581620243168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701861803495625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004754420160997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228857121911583,0.0,0.0,0.07459639949829165
mentalhealth,athenajewel,2019/03/04,"School/Homework vs. Taking a mental health day. In the past few days, I’ve been feeling like I’m extremely emotional and drained by doing little things like getting dressed or putting on makeup. This week I have the most work due than I’ve had in a long time and I really feel like I will have to choose between going to school or getting my homework done due to how exhausted I am. It’s been hard to keep everything together recently and I feel like I won’t be able to go to school tomorrow. Please tell me what you think I should do...I don’t want to make my parents worry about me, but I also don’t want to make myself worse by overworking myself. ",6.446071428571429,5.6595899924242445,6.693073593073598,80.66318181818184,65.74242424242425,10.270129870129873,32.49350649350649,9.606745405546679,2.739959740259741,517,18,106,9,7,167,86,132,0.08800000000000001,0.799,0.113,-0.2466,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,3,5,0,0,4,0,14,2,0,3,0,20,29,8,0,3,4,1,4,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,4,4,15,4,16,21,2,17,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,14,63,19,4,0.14293323581271378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430365703907144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436022505525676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627032559592532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078065200171685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845917596021802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21681401607034426,0.3063345966720409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493534327207805,0.0,0.16246450362015427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804010433951565,0.0,0.0,0.15193134580948092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704562737582312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793198367259102,0.14325665219270334,0.0,0.1264914158476265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19081808959950425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404308344337013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871044336198112,0.0,0.1364459468159827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15689777087721293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368738041641105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156669087630193,0.0,0.14112932677100354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4339681964512061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746800507048476,0.0,0.12492994813769905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495849070375596,0.09158584611767982,0.0,0.0,0.0833455192410276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686114515095652,0.0,0.11465242016908175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405709799827813,0.14515563911218504,0.1456611784211134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JebidiahStJacques,2019/03/04,"24 y/o male, completely lost I live across the country from my family due to my stepdad being military and my desperate desire for stability. I work an unrewarding, median salary position at an office job that makes me lament going into work every single day. I used to sleep with a lot of women and was madly in love with a couple beautiful and successful ones around two years ago. Since neither of those worked out, it feels like I'm drowning. I was before, but with them gone I've yet to find another reason to get excited about anything. I moved away from my friends to accept this job because I saw them beginning their own lives and it scared me that I wasn't there yet. I don't know what to do. I can't afford help, or medicine. My rent is too high compared to my salary. I feel stuck in this miserable life with no foreseeable escape and I don't want this to be it. What can I do? 

​

I live in Ottawa, Canada if anyone knows of any local resources.",4.206768885564698,5.519114287958118,5.2375205684368025,81.81158376963353,71.04188481675394,8.59850411368736,26.208302169035157,9.04235418022936,2.0216354525056093,763,24,148,15,14,251,130,191,0.126,0.755,0.12,-0.0558,6,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,5,6,10,1,2,5,0,12,3,1,3,0,27,28,8,1,3,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,11,12,0,0,7,0,1,3,6,4,0,2,7,3,24,6,28,19,4,21,0,2,1,1,8,11,0,3,8,99,35,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725885831027373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554913153811364,0.17444327955820876,0.09762693515553526,0.1505370465067377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038173641711837,0.0,0.11813911487671115,0.12780042343732176,0.0,0.0,0.13488102057872556,0.0,0.0,0.08751393022032926,0.0,0.12216050322304585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052179774709998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884838193014253,0.0,0.0925854732490082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209569936642282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353372720251565,0.0,0.14517830172876195,0.10256056622091964,0.0,0.0,0.1312128685148818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091547716662624,0.0,0.0750051061484267,0.0,0.0815894694711336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622643676788888,0.15168090547445062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849258346972163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577956025754986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140193272264092,0.07013703542440622,0.0,0.3803030528011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156714644516759,0.12205109380390368,0.12957011388143294,0.0,0.09582860470443977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152583455259352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728117934198298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476054227608208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373038900320256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875579014706572,0.0,0.1436654612675852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402390013208689,0.0,0.0,0.12399128641326143,0.0,0.0,0.08467645897338401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31354406277822994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17444327955820876,0.0924490811783655
mentalhealth,Tordensky77,2019/03/04,"Addicted to a person? I'm a straight male in love with a girl I've known for four years. She often compliments and hugs me, and knows I'm interested in her but  she has no interest currently as she is dating another man.
I find myself feeling extremely depressed when not having seen her for even just a week, it becomes hard to be motivated to even get out of bed. The only way I can get up in the morning is through my hopes of seeing her.
Whenever I see her, I become incredibly happy and back to my normal optimistic self. I get excited just being around her and I am completely dedicated to her, I would protect her with my life.

She has anger issues and has told me to kill myself a couple times during outbursts, but I never stopped loving her. What is wrong with me?",4.302976827094471,5.514549137254903,5.876375519904933,77.70550802139039,70.69934640522877,9.223767082590614,28.941770647652998,9.573946990214177,2.6917111111111107,610,23,116,14,11,208,98,153,0.155,0.608,0.238,0.8952,1,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,0,1,8,13,2,0,7,0,12,5,0,1,1,26,26,9,1,3,5,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,2,10,0,2,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,5,28,9,21,21,0,17,0,1,3,3,20,7,0,2,9,88,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766876217188822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995164334407611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442827030771424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462704512205455,0.0,0.0,0.3580021559552565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16993442796872815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933488252917773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959649951040126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21410037901510892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819508935815374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813524743224096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540352958609052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17253375401296786,0.14518896640186105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097882032828412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916605719391742,0.0,0.0,0.17931395160508626,0.0,0.08907316369121943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447962813397528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29256125709152964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500361017441272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588008395101322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326670029178087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151919918100728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583084308408139,0.0,0.16908143691175004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355034516002782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450827813092204,0.0,0.0,0.1548713160268342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864900979959518,0.13000822254628164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513469957213493,0.1772055238021566,0.0,0.10437213720152193
mentalhealth,giftedxalien,2019/03/04,"Moving on from a trauma I saw this on Quora:  
[https://qr.ae/TWXI2r](https://qr.ae/TWXI2r)",13.86181818181818,19.44411563636364,5.864090909090908,62.81613636363636,74.45454545454545,5.836363636363638,14.590909090909092,7.1686216300943375,0.9018727272727278,76,1,7,1,2,18,10,11,0.259,0.741,0.0,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spleenqueen666,2019/03/04,"I think I may be bipolar or schizophrenic (help?) **IDIOT WARNING:   I'm kinda having a little ""episode"" right now, so if it sounds all jumbled and stupid just ask me what I meant.**

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------          this is all is pretty much my mind, and if someone takes time out of there day to read this and help me I will shit my pants and cry :) 

*If you have a mental illness similar whatever I describe COULD trigger something*

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I'm  gonna describe this the best way I can)

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***I'm a 12 year old girl, and I talked to my mom wont get me therapy so ya bitch is just gonna rant on here :)***

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**H A L L U C I N A T I O N S**

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(seeing hearing or feeling something that isn't really there)

**VISUAL:** Sometimes I can't tell if my eyes are just stupid, or I'm hallucinating. Most of the times I see things is when it's dark. Like right now, I see splotches of colors and dots and shadows that I KNOW now aren't really there, once I turn on the lights. It's like I see colors that literally don't exist. New colors. Its really hard for me to just focus and write this. because whenever I think about it and try to talk about it, I cant. I blame my stupid brain for that though. About once a week I'll get a more extreme (I guess is the best way to describe it) hallucination. I hate calling them hallucinations though because I know I see it and that word is just so stupid to me, the most recent thing I have seen is the scariest to me, I looked in the mirror by my bed and my face's reflection was on the other side of the room? Some of the other things ive seen are faces in walls, doors and beside me that obviously arent really there cause they have no body. But it feels really real to me. The earliest visual hallucination I had was when I was about 6 or 7, I saw this giant blow up snowman (in summer) outside our backyards sliding door, my mom thought I was possessed or some shit and just passed it off. 

**AUDITORY:** Thought visual was it? no, bitch I hear and feel things that aren't really there too! The first time I heard something was when I was 8. I heard the radio playing and it slowed down and stopped, so I turned to my mom and said ""why did you stop the music"" and she told me ""It wasn't even on"" and I remember being so confused. I dont hear things as much as I feel things or see things so this part will be shorter I guess. The most recent was when I heard some man scream ""FUCK"" in my ear really loud. dont know why I heard that but it happened. sometimes ill hear someone whispering or whatever too. its kinda normal to me now, so it almost feels pointless that I'm making such a big deal out of it..

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**FEELING:** *yeah, woop woop. super fun. feeling things that aren't really there. Never* being able to tell if my house is haunted, or if I'm just a schizo. Sometimes its just feeling something touch my leg or back or neck, and sometimes it's feeling a presence of someone. And from whatever the presence is, Is this constant feeling of judgement. like I'm being judged and someone is controlling my brain, and it's NOT me. This feeling of judgement makes me paranoid. It stops me from doing normal things like showering, eating, and sometimes talking or saying certain things. Like my brain is telling me to not say or do something or else ill get a feeling that something terrible is going to happen. But my brain knows how to get me to listen. pretending to be people such as people from books, movies, shows or celebrities. and that sounds so fucking stupid and ridiculous. its  one of the things my brain doesnt let me say. it doesnt let me say it because it doesnt want anyone to know. it doesnt want me to know, and I dont want my brain to know I know. (if I talk about this part any longer I'm going to have a panic attack)    

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**P  A  R  A  N  O  I  A  (my brain)**

Probably the worst part about my brain. \^ from the previous paragraph. If it weren't for paranoia I would be able to tell everyone everything. I would be able to talk or write or type without being distracted. typing all this dumb stuff makes me feel so fucking stupid. I feel like people are watching me type it or just st- (a moment of me realizing how fucking dumb I am and how I should literally just fucking die). I can't describe how agitated and paranoid I am 75% of the time without wanting to die. Everyone (I just saw a shoe fall from the ceiling)  just thinks I'm an emo teen. SKSKSKSKKSSKKSS (sorry I give up) im done. stop typing. thats stupid. well why did you say that? (that was me saying everything in my head for three seconds. its like 3 people. 3 people are talking in my head, there is me, sassy bitch, and weird thing. ill see if im allowed to describe them later. When it comes to anxiety, I'm only anxious about presentations and my paranoia, I'm anxious about my paranoia.

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**N  A  R  C I  S  I  S  S  M** 

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  Yeah sorry. Most of the time I'm a narcissist, and like 40% of the time I feel like I am the worst human on the planet and I should have been aborted or something. I can go from loving myself to hating myself in like 2 seconds for absolutely no reason. At the moment, I love myself I feel like a handsome gorl and I feel sassy and just happy. When I feel shitty, I draw. The things I draw would scare you so ill post them later maybe? Let me tell you tho, I'm always feeling agitated and annoyed, not just because im a girl and I bleed once a month. I dont feel the way I do when im on my period 24/7. That would fucking suck. One of the only things that makes me happy is being social, and having friends. Having friends makes me realize that people other than my annoying family like me. (which just feeds my narcissism) I do feel bad for other people. I feel bad when people don't have the confidence I do, I want to chop off a chunk of my confidence and give it to them. That would be nice.  I AM an empath. I feel for other people, I'm not completely evil.   I gotta stop now, if I dont stop talking about this right now ill be extra bitchy and I dont think anybody reading this would want that in their life, sooo…..

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I completely fucking forgot what I was talking about so if anyone wants to ask shit, go ahead :(",0.3626511306292386,2.7589744004796195,2.1932781137053574,93.00762060290421,89.96722621902477,4.79655735534272,19.984998504264073,6.4172226859024,0.213134435764272,4769,154,1005,54,163,1568,406,1251,0.156,0.7340000000000001,0.109,-0.9962,4,0,7,0,0,0,896.0,1,6,6,6,72,69,31,4,55,2,105,42,21,14,6,202,228,101,2,29,53,3,25,12,2,15,10,22,6,4,86,43,2,8,43,7,0,8,33,42,1,6,31,65,150,27,98,166,21,90,0,0,17,9,66,31,16,43,59,662,236,7,0.08406140395366833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0280584511383185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023315274036040237,0.2125211574810707,0.2383355491600458,0.01905487909228771,0.0,0.021435581312791867,0.06331030622686583,0.0,0.039185125446266435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239071016084492,0.03187732749853088,0.0,0.02154601027985637,0.04679184070274945,0.06832406882721767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05881150484859155,0.0,0.0,0.03112442316850723,0.0,0.2502408735672606,0.028612030688364862,0.0,0.0,0.028784739213279082,0.0,0.024137152066899446,0.058757855140188824,0.030280171437684213,0.03142733747343342,0.02237206363943676,0.0,0.030779168341222605,0.018070883774559038,0.028887872117456977,0.0,0.0,0.05816164381320067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028674667246892757,0.1970386787540612,0.0,0.0,0.028671934065702,0.023407505493176703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01850725483647186,0.0,0.0,0.05354951590003717,0.05036597970862669,0.0,0.026415203458050925,0.0,0.32586378227859697,0.06005348378076335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02383419575340072,0.0,0.0,0.04329708811418383,0.18133129795141456,0.0585581520790553,0.05375957228698853,0.06369871075024534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061735409080963914,0.0,0.049556814599452714,0.05965661841608995,0.025100835533351115,0.055328822078688784,0.057514168114727635,0.0,0.12632441553671067,0.0,0.0375630580878648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03233185795413199,0.0,0.0,0.12106765503907164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319453124613755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595848087699189,0.019791685201178445,0.16427262346495405,0.028083870161591067,0.0,0.0,0.023530135971833958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05057913269634523,0.0,0.09351939981095483,0.0,0.028150326297363994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02823804124402733,0.0,0.028292684926874718,0.09845170034104893,0.02236567021441468,0.0,0.04119653609003382,0.0,0.021611112316747304,0.02706234258607204,0.0,0.0,0.05490821863238805,0.0,0.0,0.029402767599731774,0.08952265174321879,0.037974788563492914,0.04262165710580078,0.0,0.032875981832781245,0.0,0.09103030875780803,0.0,0.17483277955089466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02683586275644759,0.028506889480371663,0.030210803711728955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605610144227452,0.031893427027557666,0.1436050343679657,0.028809707890476405,0.055333663440607736,0.0,0.031741727962716536,0.07178797967272485,0.02665388167591665,0.1336980048033172,0.028053376662702915,0.0,0.1563007961303013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628782316360645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028563338409514905,0.09496660637383557,0.15100067647502613,0.13856479659118565,0.06273323967841621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405581954515404,0.0,0.0,0.032076732004086415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02106790473411908,0.18017432615618745,0.12245562035311018,0.0,0.03204384714833918,0.0,0.2606177539391831,0.07181753787038134,0.0550599350542795,0.04449024332618239,0.09803376129857498,0.0,0.0,0.026774757950018584,0.0,0.019024058449688488,0.060956445774525726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156903860180832,0.06672402972213849,0.02247632924863701,0.0,0.025193765841039224,0.0,0.07585234215320437,0.0,0.0,0.05402146244876052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942961905836275,0.0,0.2383355491600458,0.018044262694924575
mentalhealth,Ogelbeh,2019/03/04,"When do things get better? I remember struggling with depression since middle school and am now nearing the end of my junior year. Before I didn't even know what depression was and thought it was weird when symptoms of it were seen in it me. Then it peaked freshman year where I very nearly gave up on life. I've been slowly getting better, but will this be a life long issue, or will I always just have to deal with wanting to die? ",6.076235294117647,6.1856959176470605,5.755294117647061,84.07882352941179,66.29411764705883,8.211764705882354,28.764705882352942,7.554174236665415,1.5986941176470584,343,10,67,3,5,106,67,85,0.154,0.802,0.044,-0.8677,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,2,0,11,3,0,0,0,11,18,7,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,8,1,6,2,11,7,0,15,0,2,1,0,2,7,0,1,8,48,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621866627134507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699834438989021,0.0,0.0,0.3533479558727882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20594669259981715,0.34411084284729365,0.0,0.2073222653921065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17693056296942075,0.0,0.0,0.13194145651074285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208735653778922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085004807653328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978441988288068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821967704361511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678380672868296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262923300388824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217063546362565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524586637692654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088354693122984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20763005450681346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327135391388318,0.0,0.0,0.15858936284288258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648252447425119,0.11782528504470442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25728140911952474
mentalhealth,debbie_the-downer,2019/03/04,"new friends and abandonment So according to [this](https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/6064/signs-abandonment-issues/) article I have a fear of abandonment which makes sense.

I don't know what to do to stop though. I have a new friend and literally the only one in my life I don't have to hide myself around and we spent 4 days in the past week together which is something I haven't done since I was in school and you're basically friends by forced confinement.

But today he had a client, which is a huge deal for him cause he has no money, like the only reason he has a phone this month was because I was his client/doll for his business which is giving makeovers and doing hair. So I truly am happy for him that he has another paying gig until he finds a more permanent job. 

But I've also been freaking out all damn day! 

Cause what if he figures out I just suck, I truly am boring. We live in a boring ass town and the only bit of real excitement is the movie house and the gay club where we met. So eventually he's gonna realize how boring I am and find someone better to be his bestie and I don't want that.

He messaged me this afternoon and told me about his client, and said he'd message me later if they didn't show up and I messaged 3 hours later cause...he didn't message me back. They of course showed up and I told him ""it's great and hope y'all have fun"" cause again, it really is great and he really is fun to be around and if they have fun maybe he'll get more clients and will be able to get his own place even and he won't be sad anymore. And I really do want him to be happy. 

I just want to be there with him. Is that bad?

​

Seriously it physically hurts and I know it sounds all kinds of fucked up so what I'm asking is what do I do? Obviously messaging now is crazy, especially cause it's nearly midnight, I guess I need a distraction until I can go to sleep but I don't know what? Should I message him first tomorrow or wait until he messages me if he does?

​

I have a therapist but my appointment isn't until next Thursday so I'll need something at least until then. ",2.5243593212001976,4.446007390186921,3.7731923266109217,88.0715863256272,76.73364485981308,7.12208558780128,22.47811116576488,8.032893268588372,1.039321495327103,1665,48,352,28,38,543,206,428,0.097,0.799,0.104,0.7588,2,0,2,0,0,0,53.0,3,1,3,2,19,30,3,2,15,0,51,6,3,7,3,70,78,43,0,11,11,0,1,1,3,5,1,2,0,0,19,28,0,5,8,3,3,1,10,15,0,2,13,3,51,15,38,53,7,44,0,4,0,3,50,17,4,7,27,228,70,3,0.08873324314772363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095994248679682,0.0,0.1922848637564023,0.215641205523872,0.0,0.09304454223438308,0.0,0.0,0.08799953386884403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798279788296107,0.08295360423577545,0.0,0.0,0.06823038680437428,0.07408855163830687,0.054090961430665725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847734273364261,0.09687371980882747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3646139336378639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445120222445868,0.09148007742167134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765105904134646,0.0908049152641199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058607470235924324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984956785122677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622011533975598,0.07547645129205545,0.0,0.0,0.20566525063081406,0.0820324534616394,0.0927189144302671,0.08512101228802063,0.050429146939242116,0.0,0.0,0.1956574276524639,0.09774967120150577,0.0,0.0,0.18891637463740724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813213189443563,0.08738437054981471,0.10238624903919873,0.09499077201422447,0.0,0.0,0.09261445222590227,0.08805405206008685,0.0,0.0,0.09240201809901198,0.14629640957761295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267491378899581,0.04335058051274114,0.0,0.0783530793678153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592301288260307,0.0,0.0891444693003877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082602811599319,0.0,0.0,0.13158915091839135,0.0,0.17139823832781484,0.0943688107442997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06012794199127992,0.20245688966075112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470592096024616,0.0,0.0,0.09270735318128208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009978568812718,0.1705343631149355,0.09123255245663707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440563394170715,0.0,0.0,0.08980277930725745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340105567583086,0.0,0.08879732523472668,0.0,0.07518338896880854,0.13662237137829986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741849644831118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302613440862524,0.0,0.0,0.08717996086935541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410873919824988,0.16957683281449182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15701149742275045,0.0,0.07117645534638617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215641205523872,0.0
mentalhealth,porgonboard999,2019/03/04,Getting back into things I’m a senior in high school and the last day I went to school was January tenth. Now it’s March. I’ve been very depressed and struggling with anxiety. Tomorrow I go back for a couple of classes. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be but I’m still nervous about going. Well wish me luck. ,-0.6410937499999996,1.5337520781250047,1.6559999999999988,94.589,98.53125,4.4350000000000005,18.9,6.2581,0.1175799999999998,239,8,51,3,10,80,51,64,0.126,0.6940000000000001,0.18,0.6829999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,11,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,3,0,3,2,9,7,0,16,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,10,30,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735217416163649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488313355340335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509793380691396,0.0,0.14628440345758864,0.0,0.1953654333712191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517766169300328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850754577541947,0.0,0.2578215880131881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396547751455663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18489396749375586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.459121293423627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114402982354685,0.0,0.0,0.2371284300598724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069352580437026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871557147295589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20394437000890564,0.21027054699883013,0.0,0.0,0.26083941601126737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,weenz08-17,2019/03/05,"Struggling to apply the skills I teach to my personal life 
Just venting...
I work in the mental health field as a PSR (psycho-social rehabilitation specialist)  I have a caseload of clients suffering from various mental health conditions. I work with them on reducing anxiety, controlling emotions, positive redirection, coping skills and the list goes on and while I excel at rehabilitating them I have recently struggled with applying those same skills to my personal life. I am feeling extremely overwhelmed and while I have other stressors in life right now work continues to be the biggest of them all. I am about 2 months away from finishing my graduate degree, preparing for my upcoming wedding, working around my fiancé’s crazy work schedule, not to mention I feel like I’m not as close to my friends as we are getting older and drifting apart making it difficult to have normal communication. Many days I find myself working with my clients and then coming home and waiting for my fiancé and while he is amazing and listens to all my vent sessions, I’m still overwhelmed. I don’t have the typical coworker relationships with any of my coworkers they have at least 15+ years on me and we work individually with our assigned clients, we typically work in the field (all around town) so it’s extremely rare occasions we see each other. I’m trying to ride this whole thing out best I can but it’s becoming draining. My fiancé has recommended taking a mini vacation away from everything just to unwind which is extremely passed due...but then I get anxiety about taking time off from work.. I will figure things out I’m sure. Thanks for listening 
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mentalhealth,snakefanclub,2019/03/05,"My dog is getting older and I am terrified of him dying. The thought is constantly on my mind and whenever I look at him I get anxious. My childhood dog is turning 10 this year and I am absolutely terrified of him dying. I keep thinking about it even though I know that I'm likely going to have a few more years with him. It's making me so anxious - I have no idea how I'd cope with losing him, this dog made me adopt him by waddling into my lap and sitting down and refusing to leave. 

It makes me anxious to even look at him right now because I don't want to think about him eventually dying. I keep staring at him and trying to see if he's slowing down or if he's in pain and I know that he's not but it makes me so fucking worried anyways.

What can I do to get through this? This is really hurting my mental health.",3.2298362235067444,3.9329366416184968,4.901864161849712,85.59630298651254,72.757225433526,7.616377649325628,28.867533718689785,7.793537801064563,1.6961025048169556,641,25,138,8,12,218,96,173,0.16,0.8320000000000001,0.008,-0.9614,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,10,5,1,0,2,0,11,3,0,5,0,31,33,15,3,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,10,0,3,6,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,4,29,1,22,31,2,18,0,2,4,1,13,9,1,3,8,98,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404192180424145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921625708809175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042968379679066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046024607191253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716613758268163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013659493395645,0.20368038859463167,0.0,0.0738535267817848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813067429137973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391140630125514,0.14669762732062405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310108961609517,0.0,0.0,0.14283414068503736,0.0,0.0,0.13759818811011587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348696048261493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218250386132744,0.1453807059099132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296174395564932,0.2602277157778685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309589415997958,0.0,0.13121236140356218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382758630795438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324923791061839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109765104489578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355325111935224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653330637438754,0.12767512372670434,0.1031657105243901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822745664169641,0.14134818264007046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766478219691092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197043836434633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16736695892289027
mentalhealth,9-inch-snails,2019/03/05,I need a boost I've been doing very good at managing and treating my plur of mental illnesses recently but for some reason the last few days have been excruciating. I'm on 40mg of celexa but what trying to cut back down to 10mg because I'm out of refills & I have no insurance. I recently lost my job. I cant even find the motivation to do the dishes & my house if getting dirtier by the day. I feel like my husband is getting overwhelmed. I've used marijuana in the past to help my anxiety & bipolar (the only thing that gives me any relief) but as I stated I lost my job & now I cant afford it. Anyways please give me some words of advice & positivity below. I dont want to lose hope again after doing so well for so long. Thank you!,4.123076923076924,4.465090794871799,6.076051282051285,79.2856153846154,70.53846153846153,9.060512820512821,28.42051282051282,9.120678840339163,2.182294358974359,588,20,123,11,10,206,103,156,0.145,0.649,0.206,0.8995,3,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,4,8,12,1,1,7,0,11,3,0,3,0,17,25,8,0,4,4,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,4,1,18,7,20,21,3,18,0,4,0,0,5,6,0,4,12,77,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161130205104326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6437264595454345,0.0,0.0808041044042033,0.0,0.09089970825711872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136799324285444,0.0,0.0724337473370402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326274935921216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926034282870833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848184944121446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060080768854550486,0.08488758443012047,0.0,0.0,0.10860259322655144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416082546092692,0.2279727974532952,0.0,0.0996635756468319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964493641687474,0.0,0.0,0.11801861910143688,0.0,0.13710644990473633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23582812322899455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685707132217106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805119585087884,0.0,0.0,0.1051551231147398,0.0,0.13293318450843847,0.2594199331777716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974621417441066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810617391351015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037068180745396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134305457788986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043260131498596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217042327908913,0.2346478870879631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939678174425264,0.0,0.0,0.0789411021596269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067340641287361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262541619878547,0.0,0.09804189209431606,0.07008522208100497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683666243667428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deconstruct2012,2019/03/05,"An experience with my therapist Hi all! This is a throwaway to protect my privacy. 

So I have been seeing a therapist to deal  with Anxiety, Depression and PTSD. Things have been going well so far, he has helped me deal with a few different situations in my life that have cause a lot of mental problems. We were working on one today, and I was mentally guiding myself through a bad situation that happened several years ago, so that I could finally process it.

The first time, it was like I was in first person. Everything was normal, it was pretty unpleasant. I got a lot of tension in my body and I was pretty upset by the end, but he told me to just focus on whats happening with my body. So I did, and the discomfort eventually dissipated. 

The second pass was weirder. When I mentally got closer to the situation, it seems like there was some mental wall that initially would not let me go through. After that, it seemed like I was viewing the situation in 3rd person, with a birds-eye view. Everything proceeded as normal. And I came back around mentally with the same physical issues I had before. I opened my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and I was relatively ok again.

The third pass is when it got bad. At the beginning of the memory, everything was fine. When I got to the pivotal moment in the memory, it turned hellish. The protagonists (if you want to call them that) voices turned demonic and their faces started distorting in terrifying ways. I was able to follow it through, but I was a sobbing mess after. It took me a little while to calm down. 

I don't understand why this happened. It makes me reluctant to try processing it again. Has anyone experienced anything like this with a traumatic memory?",4.901121495327104,6.7514570809968895,6.069936448598131,74.41361495327105,70.09034267912773,10.245034267912773,30.908535825545172,10.444984826868176,3.6317856947040497,1357,58,241,41,25,453,172,321,0.151,0.7659999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9786,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,1,2,3,14,18,1,3,25,1,29,6,5,2,1,39,53,19,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,1,1,1,0,2,22,18,0,1,3,0,0,8,2,10,1,5,26,6,33,8,37,24,7,47,2,2,4,0,14,17,1,6,25,183,55,1,0.08038329576857071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125494164830393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061493001244200776,0.0,0.0,0.05620586940610444,0.0,0.06614860331685637,0.07155817548238781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180979268129797,0.13423338870849846,0.0,0.0,0.0684002641895684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17857544096402828,0.0,0.0,0.08208033237096163,0.09193707600491144,0.0,0.08257578735221266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417952082289682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574329663744747,0.06923401485867284,0.0,0.0,0.08398343536577386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071195741024727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167299692758776,0.07863028760680682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805597141001298,0.0,0.13674798063384114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136735883811332,0.0,0.2571594591197701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21324804893470825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05387922874651932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389927654650194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219736605827584,0.05677709901781909,0.15708487198168208,0.08056517980961464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667800705715946,0.0,0.0,0.05365647411204212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050372789089066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751712572699614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054469801548829216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403751866737217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355742022621853,0.0,0.07691595804930187,0.09396377115692972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405507946716411,0.14635586696450606,0.0,0.09081024402300968,0.0,0.0,0.3614167694877655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056895710475547125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866624038585814,0.053403089915201735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04687214618799458,0.0,0.07619396541653332,0.07680968385733154,0.17861759856781168,0.054574981328746434,0.17486788630351166,0.0,0.08368184576426586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047412150503682304,0.06380451864665182,0.0,0.0,0.07227423654167968,0.0,0.07253342160928511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05851999667995152,0.0,0.0,0.057101987004567326,0.0,0.0,0.051764207005084655
mentalhealth,_itskghost_,2019/03/05,"Should I talk to my professor about my anxiety? So I’m in my first year of college, and I had to do a reading of a reflection I wrote in class. Long story short I thought I could get over my extreme social anxiety and just push through and do it, but unfortunately I completely freaked. One of my classmates even turned around and asked if I was doing okay because I looked like I was going to start sobbing. I didn’t end up doing the reading. So, my question is should I tell my professor about my anxiety and why I didn’t try to participate today? He is younger and feel like he would get it but I am too afraid to tell him and make it seem like an excuse. ",4.107555555555557,4.744362274074074,5.206666666666667,84.45000000000003,70.7037037037037,8.666666666666668,30.555555555555557,8.841846274778883,2.2518888888888884,517,21,111,9,9,171,80,135,0.11,0.789,0.101,0.1079,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,9,7,0,1,4,1,16,0,0,1,0,23,29,12,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,5,2,0,2,2,3,0,2,7,2,22,4,16,18,0,14,0,1,1,0,11,6,1,3,9,78,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939222290857893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279980607545235,0.16046423800997112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463276417174924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996576918358395,0.0,0.0,0.1370439962959611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520258915021376,0.0,0.0,0.11336943270565952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678850880880623,0.12262271288350535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460005427835665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17935411113515004,0.0,0.09754940381009364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25157018552788435,0.0,0.0,0.15189979260798825,0.14413797130824976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457389436976995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631061101715713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228088400921106,0.0,0.3433814726362227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625851231831175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496973485689551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149070974187147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796117606943675,0.3000493446211875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626639097458887,0.0,0.0,0.16269871417601328,0.0,0.0,0.11653520380290197,0.1866996952890254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488227139910246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219311767244312,0.0,0.0,0.110533293208031
mentalhealth,throwawayaway3397,2019/03/05,"how to stop being so sensitive? it’s literally ruining my life, i can barely function because everything gets to me, and people notice that it gets to me or at least notice me acting strangely

if i put up a wall then i act like an asshole, ironically people understand me better when i’m asshole then when i’m being my authentic sensitive self

i don’t wanna be an asshole, but i don’t want to be so overwhelmingly sensitive anymore ",8.582857142857144,7.149660619047619,10.019047619047623,60.634285714285724,61.85714285714285,13.161904761904767,41.23809523809524,12.161744961471696,5.345723809523808,348,17,57,10,4,124,54,84,0.092,0.843,0.066,-0.2586,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,3,0,7,1,0,1,0,9,13,11,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,11,2,7,9,1,11,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,2,6,43,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470749721400001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518703815911828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22033965882631665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22390647070233605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603255061993004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597141595514304,0.12171477508508136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5672836899609464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454376753584316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25044948321532073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259902135865347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082880127545899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593583177656933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694627590946266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Googoltetraplex,2019/03/05,"Why am I constantly annoyed and freaked out about nothing? Is it anxiety? I'm constantly annoyed and scared of something, I just can never quite pin point the reason. I would give more details, but there's nothing else to say other than that.",3.3753333333333337,6.260411422222222,3.6533333333333333,84.90000000000002,79.22222222222223,6.2666666666666675,31.222222222222214,7.554174236665415,2.4040222222222223,194,10,33,3,5,60,38,45,0.172,0.8,0.029,-0.6429,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,2,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,8,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,5,5,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181421525713532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5125566525050294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19811104246497796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274989300195021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18290714451168505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551097247916031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241864000572937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25224158775024463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24383295626941215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859371918687776,0.23743169458748284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18257209630050686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399384884991887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16846680750713655,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bastardsasuke,2019/03/05,"needing advice I’m thinking of quitting my job and applying for disability. 
I’ve had agoraphobia for many years now and for 2 years I was well enough to live a somewhat normal life, I went to cosmetology school, got my license and now I’m working in a salon. 
A few months after I started working my agoraphobia came back and other than work and therapy I’ve been house bound. 
At first my anxiety wasn’t causing me problems at work but now I’m having panic attacks while working on clients. I love doing hair, so to have panic attacks while doing what I love is really sad and frustrating for me. 
This has been going on for a few months now and I’m at the point of a mental breakdown. 
I’ve been self harming and I’ve had thoughts of purposely cutting myself too deep so I can be hospitalized. 
I want to quit working and apply for disability and go to therapy more often so I can get better but I’m afraid if I quit working then I’ll regret it. 
I don’t know what to do, I feel like I shouldn’t be working on people if I’m not in a clear state of mind.
i just...... don’t know when enough is enough. 
Should I quit now, or should I wait for things to get better, or possibly worse? 
",1.6731542699724535,3.8124480991735545,3.702004132231405,86.48058195592289,80.40495867768595,6.347382920110194,24.13292011019284,7.492282038375204,1.1852308539944905,928,34,190,14,24,315,123,242,0.17800000000000002,0.7190000000000001,0.102,-0.9616,1,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,0,15,14,17,4,3,7,0,24,4,1,1,1,39,48,23,0,10,8,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,6,11,0,2,5,0,0,4,5,11,1,1,11,2,22,6,28,32,7,32,0,2,0,2,3,10,0,6,18,129,28,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000262508325238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045904349467341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20956240672349646,0.0,0.07082202499164947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629163951333179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534204390640392,0.0,0.0946158241577964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855030874705214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04657037505491303,0.06579886908549255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834332135640584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624071594092157,0.0,0.1046892586166491,0.0,0.07366370622907001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627525107025343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139866513574672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012355194467894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505553491057108,0.044997193190161364,0.0,0.08132921422635632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166254288072325,0.0,0.0,0.09337864929154402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281882059480126,0.0,0.09299843511377656,0.0,0.14703251639688958,0.0,0.0,0.06829369267458688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024202582567092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161275871257747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385307700892591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706772391217364,0.10383303147441532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813075836238074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39185429474390815,0.0,0.0,0.05900395943862505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321381540241287,0.0,0.0,0.09608419856910233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651914406183741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065711137156307,0.0,0.061189575381800164,0.05901630273807688,0.0,0.07312001349217911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432512167114297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828122464833308,0.08538101034851582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5364204586478466,0.0,0.09386149243890647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862346735540084
mentalhealth,BipolarArtist,2019/03/05,"High Functioning I try not to spam this out too often but I am building a community of high functioning people with mental illnesses. I feel like we face some unique challenges, and having a community built around those challenges could be really valuable to people in our situation. If this idea resonates with you I hope you will join me there. r/MentalGold",4.630803571428572,7.789907437500003,5.3069642857142885,73.29875000000001,76.1875,8.657142857142857,27.892857142857146,9.23628265651192,3.153998214285714,292,12,46,8,7,94,51,64,0.06,0.6779999999999999,0.262,0.9126,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,2,2,0,2,4,5,0,0,2,0,5,2,1,0,0,15,7,3,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,9,5,8,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,4,1,35,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23595803669933074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162744337160708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402141450674526,0.18935766562720746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5600971843114604,0.0,0.2632626474604341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992184994571067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294940715651914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26711637203468763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675160310069944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980310113755254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979365767211917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799571517918743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DependentLandscape1,2019/03/05,"Vent / seeking advice to combat isolating myself/impulsive moods, and about whether I should seek therapy or not (this is a throwaway account since my friends know my Reddit username -- sorry!)

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Possible TW: Suicidal thoughts mentioned briefly

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I'm in the last year of my degree, and my mental health has been pretty rubbish. I've talked to friends about it a few times, but I usually understate it - it's a bummer of a topic and I worry I'll lose my remaining friends if I keep bringing it up, as I'm already a bit negative (I'm working on it) and I think that turns people off.

​

I've been struggling with aspects of mental health since at least the first year of sixth form (UK education typically the ages 16-18) where I had what I think in retrospect was possibly a sorta depressive episode (not sure of the technical term) for about 2-3 months, in which I felt suicidal and very lonely and lost in life. This, I think, was mostly due to losing a few friends moving from school. This changed when I became best friends with a guy with a big social circle, and we got on really well. Sadly, it has since transpired that he's a scumbag (it's very serious, but I'd rather not go into details here) and we all cut ourselves off from him. I'm still friends with a few people from that time, but only a few I talk to on any regular basis, and I've moved hundreds of miles away for university so we only see each other a few times a year.

​

In the first year of university I was doing okay; I already knew a lot of the content going in for that year, so it wasn't too heavy with work. I was in a relationship that lasted 8 months, but I noticed it was becoming dependent and we thought it was bad for our mental healths so it ended. In my second year, I moved into a house with a group I didn't entirely know, and one of them I was very incompatible with: very loud music in early and late hours, smoking drugs which stunk out the house & might've gotten the neighbours on us, once even ordering class A (the ""most illegal"" classification in the UK) drugs through the mail to our door, etc. and I felt anxious and unhappy pretty much every day: his music was so loud on some days that I couldn't take a phone-call in my bedroom, and I felt like there was nowhere I could relax or chill out. Asking them to turn it down worked sometimes, but they'd often not respond for a while and I **hate** confrontation so that stressed me out and made me sad too. They also had to be asked on a daily basis (they'd turn it back up the next day) and would always argue that it wasn't too loud (the rest of the house agreed with me).

​

Paired with being in university late every night, a miserable house life, and not getting enough sleep, toward the end of second year I became very cranky and rude and I pushed away a few friends who I knew from a trip abroad. After second year, I realised that the hours I was working had made me very toxic (for 8 weeks leading up to the exam period, I was in the library 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, and it totally ruined my personality for months - luckily I didn't take this out on many people), and since then I have been striving to a much healthier work-life balance. In any case, I have a much better control over how I express my emotions now, and I know my work limits better, so I think that problem is solved, which is good I think. Additionally, my housing situation changed this September, and for the first time in two years I finally don't feel permanently miserable all of the time at home, which I thought would fix everything.

​

Going back a tiny bit, on my birthday in January last year I invited two close friends (I invited a few more, but they were busy) on a night out, but I drank a bit too much and had to sit down. They went dancing and forgot about me for about a few hours, and I think that was the point that really started validating some of the issues I'm about to describe. Eventually, they came over and seemed to find it funny I was still there, and then went back to carry on dancing without even asking if I was alright. After a few more hours, I'd sobered up enough for it to properly hit me emotionally, and I walked for a few hours home crying (I didn't want to get in a taxi or anything because I didn't want to have to talk to anyone about it). They didn't ask me the next day where I'd went, or what happened, which is what hurt the most.

​

After that, I decided to distance myself from them, because I figured that's not what friends do, but it's hard because most of the friends I'd made in uni were in a group with them. Sadly, that group changed quite a lot gradually and now has a very toxic (in my view) drinking culture. They established a system whereby if you didn't go to a certain number of drinking events in a row (typically there would be multiple such nights out a week, and I'm not a big partier so I would go once every 2 months or so tops), they'd remove you from the facebook group chat - funny ""banter"", I guess, but it was the only place I talked to a lot of the close-acquaintances-but-not-quite-friends I had. I tried seriously saying to one of my closer friends (one of the ones from my birthday) there that I thought it was unfair to do this, and they added one of the 'points' to me and laughed in the chat, which made me really upset. I left the chat then, and lost regular contact with most of the people. They seemed to think I was overreacting and being ridiculous, but they were serious about removing people (they had already removed some) and others agreed with me in private that it was toxic so I don't think this is the case.

​

The problem is, most social outings (this group is 20+ people and makes up a substantial minority of the people in my year group that I used to talk to) are organised in that chat, which means I'm now rarely invited to anything but the biggest stuff organised by the society for my course. At some point last year, I asked to be added back while drunk, but I left again a few weeks later after finding out everyone in work (a lot of us worked at the same company over summer) had organised a trip to another city with literally no-one mentioning it to me ^((another friend also hadn't heard about it, and I know they don't dislike her so I don't think it was personal -- It just makes me feel like I'm forgettable and no-one gives me a second thought most of the time, especially since I was working with them daily)). That group chat was being filled with pictures of everyone out having fun and it just made me so miserable that I went home from work on that Friday super sad and crying.

​

So, for mainly that reason, for the last few months, I've pretty much been lonely besides my housemates. I talk to a small few close friends on messenger from university, but we rarely talk in person so it's not the same, and I don't know how to change that since there's such a long-standing precedent of our friendship just being chatting online.

​

I'm also becoming increasingly volatile in my mood. For the past year or so, I have weeks when everything feels fine and I'm confident and happy, but then it's like a switch flips: the smallest of things brings me down. If someone does something minor like flake on a plan, or seem slightly abrasive when talking to me, then my internal composure falls apart, and I fall into a cycle of self-loathing (though I don't take it out on that person, of course). Small stuff also can reverse my mood quickly in the other direction - sometimes someone drops a random compliment about something my way, and I end up cheerful, over the moon, and feeling like everything is perfect for days: I'll get all household tasks done, finish coursework more productively, exercise, eat better, etc. A few weeks ago, a friend of friends who I had never directly spoken to started a conversation with me about dogs randomly on facebook, and it brightened my week because it validated that this group of people doesn't have some shared secret dislike/exasperation towards me, and just generally it was a nice conversation even if it wasn't of much depth.

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I struggle to get out of bed most mornings, and tend to sleep in for hours because any dream I'm having feels preferable to having to deal with the day^(I should add: I'm generally able to keep to commitments punctually, so I haven't devolved to a degree where I'm actively damaging my life other than socially - I always make my morning orthodontic appointments on time, etc.), and my social skills are worsening because of this whole mess, since I talk myself out of going to events - I figure no-one wants me there and I'll feel even worse afterwards. I've forced myself to go to things, and sometimes it helps, but most of the time it's counter-productive because I end up overthinking the tiniest things, get miserable, and end up feeling worse, and as I don't talk to anyone about it, the next few days are just even more miserable and even more lonely. Sadly, pretending I'm happy and the whole ""fake it until you make it"" thing just isn't really helping. I went to a big uni event in a spur of the moment decision last night, got a bit drunk, and ended up overthinking all of this, sitting down in the corner and crying for a few hours. A friend noticed but we're not close enough that I can burden them with something like this so I just pretended I was okay and I think I made up some excuse, and eventually let them get me an Uber home.

​

I'd appreciate any advice from anyone, especially if you can relate to any of this. I don't think I have depression because from seeing people I know suffer from it, my issues seem a lot more situational and come and go on a weekly basis. Having written this, it feels like a lot of my problem is that too much of my general confidence in my social relationships lies in external validation, but I have no idea how I can change that.

​

Is this something therapy might help with? I've thought about it, but never very seriously, and it's one of those things where I see people who're much worse and struggling with suicide etc. and I feel guilty taking already-strained mental health resources: the UK mental health resources, especially in London where I am, are very stretched. I'm also worried that if I speak to people I know about this then they'll just talk to me more or overcompensate out of guilt, and that's the last thing I want to happen, since it'd just validate all the worries I have already.

​

So sorry this is so rambly! I tried tidying it up but it's really hard, and if I hesitate any more I think I will end up just not posting this :(",8.613269814637263,6.779769113135187,8.304700982742094,74.22399938079259,62.087248322147644,11.357054969638865,36.7818991690636,10.003213829251012,3.4415251038670505,8494,314,1632,139,96,2726,631,2086,0.135,0.75,0.115,-0.9933,0,6,8,0,1,1,321.0,10,4,22,29,94,96,6,11,127,3,121,19,2,18,12,311,253,147,3,25,58,0,14,7,17,9,11,6,7,5,121,118,6,6,54,17,1,34,37,47,1,15,81,25,194,46,265,148,82,291,0,23,4,0,122,125,0,48,132,1121,315,13,0.01874216226128829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036629248096192814,0.016613796007270715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827297684348799,0.07494050194497763,0.031189960809413688,0.3249139996754109,0.3416066786902888,0.07647187820283156,0.03930558258038461,0.0,0.02117330861086557,0.0,0.03931486689021283,0.0,0.030846405210642164,0.0,0.08760695854186643,0.0,0.035217756797469565,0.05764626357718571,0.015648922627535068,0.09140038524816446,0.04139849144137607,0.0,0.0,0.01966874299369964,0.049727758363345566,0.08184634804743753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021436040657916936,0.0,0.0,0.0991336127520645,0.016144713243638784,0.0,0.0,0.021020928654439323,0.01496409150201544,0.0,0.061762155539655986,0.10878429742319287,0.019322346325805,0.032285193784976435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01640139249605606,0.01917973913304813,0.0,0.03672036760073789,0.043469915960774465,0.019177910979235886,0.0,0.04216481983574972,0.11619994956512758,0.058096991135054885,0.08360986075274404,0.07427412847223291,0.0,0.047373240143896315,0.03581787843675921,0.05053274081654078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528940340446364,0.04016821339297634,0.05398624480309437,0.02053112264758749,0.034259993527839025,0.047826220935041366,0.0,0.0,0.2461625172091705,0.0,0.05875203736381693,0.017979189845357575,0.0852128218111115,0.015720036488902998,0.029979638578916917,0.0,0.02064660474086593,0.018557687277228563,0.03314726438143168,0.03990276047246503,0.033578592100550884,0.0185040050311844,0.0,0.09961021030365244,0.0,0.0,0.037687428887750216,0.0,0.07519966756230534,0.0,0.14765803605024075,0.10812969439326547,0.02006387233532905,0.02115761988916334,0.0,0.039123896068318634,0.0,0.03331778993634242,0.0,0.0,0.07210141560241534,0.10694154608217156,0.04228395076371977,0.0,0.04072682827143278,0.019165130732510503,0.03971443043020622,0.0640953164437759,0.0,0.0,0.016586223819788703,0.0,0.04193537102188356,0.04091856818337003,0.09560349677089397,0.0,0.10640572258893667,0.05004215537874003,0.019001610834258918,0.0,0.020415709155684497,0.0,0.0,0.09443845677884663,0.039764944719768366,0.0,0.0,0.0747990755315115,0.05975985719397438,0.11022116610300642,0.0,0.028910221907117832,0.0,0.059797506570225416,0.07035299861331308,0.0,0.0,0.042676151913383566,0.0,0.03991958226053375,0.0762010451953243,0.04276277686166012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017891514598263866,0.14292800999037295,0.06545973267063285,0.01958157049715279,0.0,0.05315220401737942,0.04225794377595188,0.017949810634148546,0.05720255084606881,0.0,0.05380115429925316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019934596583233617,0.0,0.0,0.060033545325370224,0.019270064307321037,0.0,0.040244136420402206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01490451968548714,0.0,0.018968068804712232,0.04480523029895613,0.06824864246516245,0.0195521627522307,0.0,0.0,0.12402968238958773,0.04213395129500778,0.03751139525345595,0.09552637084617507,0.03176034652674838,0.057714528671767025,0.055609433136786686,0.04196063241617525,0.02653159782783921,0.0,0.02993502998420558,0.0,0.021469083547149426,0.05878013206560963,0.04291058353228076,0.0615026506134627,0.0,0.0176642661268847,0.0,0.05636709411846446,0.16570664093648538,0.0,0.0,0.04286659188284125,0.0,0.07470875884411446,0.1441106496202826,0.01841407926256035,0.08927509989373775,0.08742964428026861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02544939581514578,0.061158271778718874,0.036616738373177575,0.0,0.04508902707751288,0.016187210591867295,0.02064184385806923,0.1391782203322401,0.04421845157755145,0.014876656027165603,0.12027065644964267,0.0,0.016851454716099373,0.0868708609295148,0.0,0.041849909687054786,0.0,0.018066775604261943,0.0,0.13644517344293078,0.0571007266276327,0.057299593595910324,0.053255577326055466,0.0,0.3416066786902888,0.15690139413445225
mentalhealth,Cocs365,2019/03/05,"Can I get some help I am a college student. I have been dealing with depression ever since I was a kid, even though I did not know at the time. But my last two years of high school it’s gotten worse and I stopped wanting to hang out with my friends. When I got to college, I’m pretty sure I developed anxiety as well. I did not want to be in public places, seeing people would make me so exhausted. I would sleep even though I didn’t do much. I felt like I was I was delusional or living in a simulation. Which sounds crazy! But there rlly is no reasoning when I’m like that. Now I have no desire to see anyone, I’ll make any excuse to miss any event that involve me going out, I have fallen out of love with so many things and so many of my hobbies. Everyday feels like either a dull/numb existence or an emotional roller coaster where I’m just crying for no reason. I don’t want to self diagnose but I rlly want to get help before it’s too late and I ruin my life. It’s affecting my grades, its affecting my ability to carry out basic human functions like getting out of bed and brushing my teeth. My friends and family have noticed. They have been kind enough to say that they are there for me but I cannot for the life of me tell people my problems. It makes me sick to my stomach. Atleast I’m anonymous online. I’m also scared abt talking to a specialist but I rlly want to salvage myself. 

So tldr, HOW DO I GET HELP. How do I look for someone to help me? Do I just call a hospital? And how do I ask for a doctor? Do I say I have anxiety and depression. Can I even say that if I’m not diagnosed in the first place? Sorry abt these embarrassing questions. I would ask my friends or my parents but alas I still can not admit to them that I have problems. Thank u",1.510650058388478,3.4710208746594016,3.3860770727909713,89.46229972752045,80.03542234332427,6.483114052160374,23.01977423121837,7.554174236665415,0.9915356792526272,1379,46,294,21,35,463,180,367,0.166,0.69,0.14400000000000002,-0.5718,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,3,1,25,21,0,2,11,0,33,11,3,10,2,62,66,30,0,12,17,1,2,4,3,3,7,4,1,3,13,15,0,1,7,1,0,3,10,9,1,2,11,10,53,12,37,51,4,29,0,4,3,1,29,13,0,6,17,202,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012402307061945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926162782857162,0.0,0.13416208564923227,0.0,0.0,0.06131345448001279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395279515066974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461598813650701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953920250159302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963210971270229,0.0,0.09040242755006367,0.15105100813705147,0.17800284975095287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975233393608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863714287307304,0.0,0.0906050942848712,0.0,0.17375119472648765,0.07931877229028983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266439657192921,0.0,0.044337662966617265,0.06264429001607037,0.08419418467127956,0.0,0.0,0.07458732668332378,0.0,0.0,0.20324248124557573,0.0,0.18325334172306024,0.0,0.04983508356220912,0.0,0.07013206519821337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351015418193402,0.09264713507893538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131350761949307,0.04819100486295793,0.07147738396311773,0.0989158286212526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387318665897698,0.17135961509922745,0.0,0.07743006762251928,0.0,0.07363579441877299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914179972368497,0.0,0.17559716544493334,0.17780363914546807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446073379946679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983331388467999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736709288364703,0.0,0.0,0.12158356914518954,0.0,0.1832304916117964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921017098277834,0.0,0.16781105398683674,0.0,0.0,0.0982305739220004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031563693702507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20919893552000302,0.08779093665926617,0.08874488827438921,0.13975188857044935,0.0,0.09147765736374408,0.0,0.0,0.07253637955776945,0.0,0.08775127861085663,0.0,0.07429771668088728,0.0,0.0,0.09815948249752993,0.0,0.0,0.0700277112759851,0.07331105379453705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264485647004921,0.0,0.0,0.07048025379166513,0.07664313454489684,0.08073128442067022,0.0,0.0,0.05825597855180819,0.0,0.1723059341102446,0.0,0.05113154964143267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565838698067409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25860312832304616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884199922712462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936151388930877,0.1868730143978114,0.0,0.0,0.056468165752730275
mentalhealth,that-quiet-kid,2019/03/05,"I scare the hell out of myself You see, I've always been a weird kid. Always anxious, always alert and always concerned that something bad would happen. No one was surprised when I was diagnosed with two anxiety disorders and major depression last year, and no one even seems to notice my mental health has once again started to decline after a few weeks of improvement. All those mental issues are quite obvious through the way that I act, but recently I've been having a reoccurring issue and I have no idea what it's all about. 

When I was eight, I started getting really delusional that my mom was planning on killing me, even though I knew it was totally irrational. I never experienced any form of abuse and the only direct threat to my life had been two years earlier, when a landslide in mom's hometown killed 400+ people, but even then my close family wasn't affected. With the paranoia, came the homicidal tendencies and I would often find myself in the kitchen grinning at the thought of stabbing someone - anyone - with one of those big knives. I never told anyone about this because this was about the time social phobia started to kick in.

Eventually the delusions and the desire to freakin' stab someone went away, but whenever I have a depressive episode or when my anxiety is particularly bad, these thoughts come back and I am left wondering if I have another mental illness I'm unaware of. I'm afraid to act upon these thoughts and in several occasions I've had to physically stop myself from twisting my cockatiel's neck while I was petting her or testing a lethal dose of antidepressants on my mom. It's not like I forget that murder is wrong or that I am actually quite empathetic, but I always have to rationalize the weight of my decisions moments before I take them and this is making me horribly scared of myself. 

The delusional thoughts also creep in every once in a while and all of a sudden I have to be reminded that there is not a secret plot organized by my loved ones to kill me at once. Still, it's hard to convince myself of that and I don't want to turn on my close friends and family because of something I rationally know isn't true. ",8.440315126050423,7.838624838235298,8.356750700280113,69.75323529411766,61.647058823529406,11.594957983193275,37.810924369747895,10.914260884657429,4.202868907563024,1746,75,300,39,21,566,216,408,0.239,0.693,0.068,-0.9977,0,0,2,0,1,1,29.0,0,1,1,3,17,22,6,3,21,0,32,9,1,2,8,60,57,30,5,5,10,3,2,1,1,2,5,0,2,1,19,21,2,1,12,0,0,5,10,15,0,7,21,4,42,7,48,33,7,49,1,2,1,1,12,18,1,7,26,220,61,1,0.0,0.09057535913250804,0.07459973291079679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611333996470706,0.31804369627426543,0.0,0.0,0.051985528192399114,0.08015972090805519,0.11696112174310508,0.0863616004406516,0.0,0.10690487374617147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718230177639387,0.05878183322037123,0.12765751712439685,0.09320087493166848,0.0,0.06504944843533014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874332307884358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585098720284653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168471007768304,0.07759052372953319,0.0,0.0,0.08761310991453046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147449848496727,0.0,0.06440858963954743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413193570273122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986975740371994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906156590937624,0.0,0.0399395930440806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760045996639395,0.0,0.06848010879271002,0.0,0.0,0.08125793979726664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629760934979405,0.0,0.1595783796491684,0.0,0.0,0.2537266960075896,0.0,0.042012420717993264,0.062313245706736825,0.0,0.0,0.0830582063255707,0.0,0.053995682891390326,0.037347386011636334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899500427156134,0.0,0.05102793223575318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311171037212709,0.0,0.0,0.2685959653105707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179188892430268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703365278482834,0.0,0.24423573162104426,0.2072056644292087,0.05814021034584161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299765043132783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261829425971994,0.0,0.0,0.048972913489437137,0.0,0.07548066053971171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307046518927486,0.0,0.0609171271220869,0.06959306761542895,0.0,0.0863616004406516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792651042104304,0.12954396532963727,0.11770288612838373,0.0,0.0,0.1623254513102457,0.0,0.061049436018426835,0.0639118201426622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747746549352858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510726759726356,0.2427565966195037,0.044575957310033436,0.0,0.0,0.0730469045494344,0.0,0.0,0.08315069896199498,0.14935219558465415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508950770789201,0.06067884086154475,0.06131992977533934,0.09308996494792594,0.0,0.07086569906868677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290183080232534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860931030658152,0.0835811001991216,0.0,0.09845672832610318
mentalhealth,Mikedivine,2019/03/05,"How much do you know about hereditary mental illness? My fiancee had two kids before meeting me, her oldest daughter inherited all her fathers mental illnesses (bipolar, sociopathic tendencies, social anxiety, multiple personality disorder) one therapist said she has cluster B. As for her son so far its only ADHD but we are keeping a close eye on him. We have a 2 year old daughter together now, I have no history of mental illness in my family but my fiancee just did some research and there is quite a bit of mental illness in her father and mother's side. Can anyone give me an idea of how likely my daughter and step son can inherit something?",9.23909604519774,8.705624322033902,9.880000000000004,59.25638418079098,60.016949152542374,12.612429378531074,43.39548022598871,11.855464076750405,5.680554802259886,522,28,76,14,6,178,90,118,0.128,0.872,0.0,-0.9268,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,2,1,0,1,7,1,0,0,4,0,10,6,1,2,1,16,14,9,0,0,3,8,0,1,2,0,5,1,0,2,1,6,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,3,2,16,1,9,11,4,11,0,0,1,0,25,6,0,1,5,57,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996422843341321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270802799598445,0.0,0.0,0.1161539927308039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135469966767036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813584949179534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19038631589983887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660183886135776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935610509137615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752768770676767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765385092919306,0.0,0.0,0.0912944422397024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115716059138961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6696339389064595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221162902769785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17431353428882115,0.0,0.11256626754471814,0.12634068650439145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504836047170755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766875868932561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580168363976547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693370004154166,0.0,0.1278862197827584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928765067598905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622737414335218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697493674088436
mentalhealth,pezthepest,2019/03/05,"Help me understand why this is happening to me (anxiety) TL;DR at end

Hi- this particular thing, which I will explain in a second, has been happening to me for years. It has made functioning like a regular human very hard for me in some situations, and leaves me frustrated as to why I cannot simply feel/act normal- and I don't even know why it happens. If it helps in interpreting my situation, I have been diagnosed with the following things: GAD, depression, gender dysphoria (although I doubt this last one has much to do with this particular problem, it certainly could, which is why I'm listing it).

So, if I'm out in public for more than, say, 2 hours (unless I am in school- this is the only exception. There are no others.), I become extremely anxious and tired. I have trouble breathing, focusing, my face begins to flush and get hot (which causes me to feel embarrassed, which only makes the flushing worse), and all those delicious symptoms of anxiety we all love so much. This makes things like getting together with friends (even just to chill at someone's house), spending time with family, going to academic competitions (which I do often, but they never go well for me due to lack of ability to focus), field trips, and going to the mall/anywhere in public to run errands or something very, *very* difficult for me. In situations where I have to interact with others or with my environment more, I may have a good 30 minutes of mental clarity and being in a generally good mood before I begin to feel anxious, tired, and very, very depressed. 

What's wrong with me? I've asked my therapist about this and she suggests I may be worried about the expectations set on me by society, but this makes absolutely no sense as I am well aware that when doing things such as going to a friend's house or just to the grocery store, I am not expected to ""perform"" well, and going out in itself does not make me anxious (unless I am anticipating getting anxious and depressed, which is quite embarrassing. I am actually currently writing this post in anticipation of reaching that state tomorrow during a 10-hour academic event). 

So, reddit, what I'm asking is three things: one, what exactly is happening with me? I have a friend who experiences the same exact thing so I know it's not just me. Two, do any of you experience anything similar, and if so, how do you deal with it? And three, how would you (either from personal or professional experience)  recommend I try to prevent, control, or cope with it?

TL;DR: When out in public for more than a few hours at a time, I become anxious, tired, and depressed. Why?

Will be crossposting this to a few different subreddits for a maximum amount of interaction as I am getting a bit desperate- this is affecting my ability to function like a regular social being and makes me just want to sit on my ass in bed doing nothing but watching youtube and playing video games, because I know that at least that is safe.",7.861310176721513,7.762034195612433,8.30418098720293,68.00129280926268,62.61974405850091,11.973406459475932,37.977391834247406,11.4731,4.595222108470447,2343,108,402,64,30,778,260,547,0.155,0.7490000000000001,0.096,-0.9889,2,0,1,0,0,0,94.0,1,3,1,3,24,28,1,3,20,0,43,9,3,11,6,95,79,43,0,11,22,0,4,3,3,5,5,1,1,2,43,30,0,3,8,3,2,8,8,12,3,6,3,6,49,15,78,66,16,50,0,4,1,2,30,22,1,13,19,309,92,4,0.0,0.0,0.06033986511553763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04204840468852875,0.0,0.09460380130556097,0.3492671567592623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088310212715805,0.0,0.11561058834816985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03769268335552611,0.13657887546618042,0.0526151340128976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750537150105064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351928854713126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935071054325115,0.04936843635021018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374687194299393,0.21302590059852813,0.06275896110355053,0.0,0.06460208537188104,0.0,0.0,0.05411027467904101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476548226161464,0.0,0.0,0.08167992431425815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145294476227056,0.05829043362355955,0.0,0.09379352081511393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331553672232042,0.0,0.1292202833986553,0.0,0.17570494378313345,0.10372478953645313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187140611346698,0.0,0.055390017717495466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289040618770062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267847283014668,0.1426934320604129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194502180050184,0.05040196116186998,0.0,0.06547197665450381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062510600626693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580649003623205,0.05850766307488529,0.20636927426482216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231289005243819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090840266629843,0.0,0.047689244946803794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060582987344048135,0.05933021151580186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379897189299645,0.09405321743583166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398999072908398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059218702563462434,0.0,0.0,0.059165611250835214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576676321806353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491719013696437,0.0,0.06257806545393822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850787624597436,0.0,0.06303072335865889,0.05239070630366086,0.04760188807370557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642679245249236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179261301513144,0.24647367368089895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211037215641561,0.21320302325672166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041980392771659804,0.0,0.06040163271806525,0.06437009537172167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25509255907280515,0.03647057043050663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678526112624062,0.0,0.2789722922567721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279418049284545,0.06301287627900462,0.04392422652522807,0.06760442853399709,0.0,0.039818277325590665
mentalhealth,KB456789,2019/03/05,"Looking for advice Just a quick background. Was exposed to abusive parents and developed a three year long depression/diagnosed with ptsd and social anxiety that kept me from going outside until about a year ago. I’ve worked hard at therapy and now I’m able to be social without panic attacks. 
Ok so I got a new job as a barista and my coworkers are nice and friendly. Recently one asked me what my hobbies are and I was totally stumped for an answer. It’s been so long since I’ve done something that I felt reflected me. Mostly I’d spend all my time caring for my siblings, myself, and working at therapy. What can I do to rediscover what I enjoy? It’d be nice to be able to have hobbies that I’m proud of and would want to share but I don’t remember what I liked or how to get started. ",3.738773584905662,5.115795786163523,5.1624056603773605,81.65040094339625,72.27044025157231,8.318867924528304,31.488993710691823,8.841846274778883,2.6778842767295594,626,29,121,12,12,210,101,159,0.051,0.8029999999999999,0.146,0.9083,2,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,7,11,1,1,6,1,15,0,0,1,2,24,27,15,0,2,4,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,1,4,0,1,1,2,2,0,2,7,3,15,9,19,15,3,15,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,2,13,84,24,3,0.2938467574958293,0.17408017872759382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357182528517773,0.1302387104106227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123959825951827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735352593105488,0.16714655387338148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979817656339173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912413671630712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15035362716667308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106948426055402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351263796143984,0.0,0.07676140135695637,0.0,0.08349994199303183,0.0,0.11750804769078538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161448866551054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579878275805622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177934146971197,0.0,0.0,0.2600451335656074,0.12337863454975626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141899514732258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955908384651548,0.0,0.0,0.17238292855028492,0.16314102488994148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174556736288746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145069111545084,0.0,0.16643554712040814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215365371645782,0.0,0.0,0.2995397642722489,0.0,0.1131087949869843,0.0,0.0,0.10399312368825432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33603937619532986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567220367442271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665921543900275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162889413999252,0.0,0.2139239391549547,0.0,0.0,0.10437015282484632,0.0,0.0,0.1892276776829336
mentalhealth,happiestunhappyhuman,2019/03/05,My therapist dumped me and my mom today... It’s because my mom is flakey. He was a great therapist. I’m sad. Wish me luck.,-2.163846153846152,-0.6850389230769203,0.9610769230769236,97.43392307692308,111.30769230769228,5.156923076923079,16.73846153846154,6.742157984588678,0.21251692307692327,92,3,22,2,5,32,21,26,0.173,0.536,0.292,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,10,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590633775369394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28768143937026003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6112071582506425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6059306205757315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473355951418247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000620394120502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itsjoeyourbro,2019/03/05,"For people with depression, does anybody else feel like their depression is episodic? For instance, feeling so depressed and negative about everything and anything. 

And then later (or earlier) in the day everything is perfect and amazing.

This is how I almost always feel. And it’s almost always completely random and doesn’t pertain to what I’m doing at the time.

I also have a smaller form of Aspergers so the whole rationalizing thing with that may contribute to it...

Just wondering if anybody else goes through stuff like this.",7.206754658385093,9.493813619565222,6.979192546583858,68.43413043478263,64.97826086956522,10.039751552795034,38.14285714285714,10.290406445055957,4.710420496894411,431,23,61,11,7,136,66,92,0.146,0.722,0.131,-0.5581,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,6,7,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,1,1,21,12,13,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,3,4,11,11,2,6,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,7,6,50,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549327185046653,0.0,0.0,0.14172766439936815,0.294932658809225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584199638903686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858182152999301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429618606293575,0.0,0.4579337932496023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509177220817474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960993647564534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185588186961662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26883255446668064,0.12661037577654602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17316746071407105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286627698851005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20288150680220127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177411593903083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334197598022364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19786663424090767,0.0,0.0,0.192194167539776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Regal97,2019/03/05,"I’m not sure what to say Hey everyone. I’ll be honest I really hope someone can understand me. Long story short I’ve grown up with a bipolar mom and a lot of moving and family trauma. I’m 21 now and have gone to many doctors and therapist but nothing ever works. I’m facing something relatively new. It’s like I’m splitting between personalities. Not like the movie split, more like I have the side of me that is super caring and easily hurt, loyal and super happy. Then there is the other side that is more serious and narcissistic, couldn’t care less about much of it doesn’t benefit me. The one that will not keep there word and is overall cold to a point. But at the same time I have control and tell myself to stop, I know that won’t make sense to most people. It’s everyday I cycle through this and most of the changes overlap and mix with each other. Thank you to those who read this.",2.694833333333332,4.663963650000003,4.137500000000003,85.43625000000003,76.3888888888889,7.166666666666668,22.916666666666664,8.07648339933343,1.2294999999999994,707,21,142,12,16,234,114,180,0.061,0.684,0.255,0.9924,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,4,5,17,0,0,9,0,13,3,1,2,2,34,26,14,0,2,5,1,0,3,0,2,2,1,0,1,14,14,0,3,2,1,0,3,6,3,0,1,1,2,10,14,17,21,9,18,0,1,0,0,7,7,0,4,11,94,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33507886463093123,0.0,0.1738331722218742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843035177276328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819274033345033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486406100691476,0.0,0.15701877642882667,0.0,0.0,0.15491019316941346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749261234604242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321096796596898,0.0,0.0,0.17591241145563502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605886326723785,0.0,0.0,0.09030826065309933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408414520998736,0.0,0.0,0.14542171024206102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970252418111762,0.0,0.0,0.10968765251275917,0.16659890610997494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245446966313615,0.0,0.17465057611246348,0.12079716466603238,0.0,0.0,0.15870529728392224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767346295705556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135030326910794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392168190642665,0.14348151786053756,0.0,0.0,0.15533944505842176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16436862802395605,0.0,0.10527026438282856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067716718099956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923132715385875,0.126504766191105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738235535153506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487357570068072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362655834701904,0.15128760848739614,0.0,0.1907930145473469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581873890670237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710672453178784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962994526018887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lummybot,2019/03/05,"Help w/ nail biting I’ve been suffering from a diagnosed anxiety disorder for a while now, but have recently been feeling less anxious. I want to move onto dealing with my nail biting, but I‘m having trouble. I have previously been able to control it, but it ended after some personal issues flared up. I have a long history with nail baiting, but it feels like its getting a bit out of hand at this point. My fingers often hurt now and some of my nails are becoming misshaped, my thumbs and pointer fingers. I also have ADHD which started me on nail biting at a young age (because of the boredom shizzle it causes). I often don’t realize I have my fingers in my mouth until its too late, caused either by anxiety or boredom. I just really want it to stop, but don’t know how. I’m not sure if this is the best place to ask for help with an issue like this, but I wasn’t sure of a better place. Any tips would be appreciated! Thanks!",3.9046350931676974,5.371526777173916,5.375931677018638,79.92869565217394,71.98913043478261,8.083229813664598,28.903726708074533,8.634040054169528,2.2990618012422357,733,29,137,13,14,247,115,184,0.14800000000000002,0.669,0.183,0.8873,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,0,0,9,0,16,6,5,4,2,35,27,14,0,4,11,0,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,11,6,0,2,4,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,4,6,15,7,24,21,6,24,0,2,0,0,5,10,0,6,15,100,26,0,0.14026520018789698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16857151296645373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217002991384016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538514602643418,0.0,0.2146049884420106,0.15845975131041473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311290277654764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550436414002277,0.15491189353043225,0.0,0.0,0.14719967392203873,0.1240531710356061,0.15313327023683812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881819968411894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573193490027846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14460726236944968,0.0,0.1423662256314468,0.0,0.0,0.16075607142238107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423333444936413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418445994254131,0.1002054870405458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328277786553293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803361404484506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015679783501626,0.0,0.0,0.292800853906169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770860857713801,0.0,0.15822525533403028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137052983485754,0.0,0.0,0.12413028827784844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907970979467935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247416252308935,0.29309456054061056,0.0,0.1325959518969113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985747893608759,0.0,0.13849496346571305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928043063401684,0.0,0.0,0.11726798801698765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643965824132673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913735110904445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16546409843369242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996403738082851,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The-Frights,2019/03/05,"I can slowly feel my depression coming back. I’d categorize myself as a little bipolar on a daily basis, but I’ve been fine for the most part until recently. Two years ago I was in an extreme depression for almost an entire year but luckily I recovered, or so I thought. Recently I’ve been having more “sad episodes”, unmotivated periods, and constant tiredness. These were similar symptoms from my last depression and I’m afraid of falling into the dark place again. ",5.476252100840334,7.772290305882354,6.776302521008407,68.10764705882356,69.47058823529412,10.033613445378153,34.49579831932773,10.290406445055957,4.365756302521008,376,19,57,11,7,127,66,85,0.233,0.6970000000000001,0.069,-0.95,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,6,0,6,2,0,0,0,12,10,8,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,1,5,1,7,1,9,5,3,18,0,4,0,0,0,5,0,3,11,41,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18333405422353574,0.0,0.20710103611628355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590323368575563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781577029077145,0.0,0.22349968099126194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5344030466067389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457475021631926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16858645841768566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20728865538403507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22396664221641044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160835913559981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4084209414898709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21496587703632145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419251804912924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20203375241453853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663714744375041
mentalhealth,Jibranivry09,2019/03/05,"Mentally scattered, unmotivated, lazy & lack of will power to change my life. As the title says above. I’m mentally scattered, lazy, and I lack will power to change anything. I’m pretty well versed in knowing what I need to do to change my life. I just have a hard time actually physically doing it. And persevering at it.  I’m lazy, and unmotivated. I’ll wait til the last minute to do anything I need to do.  My brain is always scattered. In moments where I need to put my brain to use, (like at work) I get really flustered and confused very easily. And I end up having to leave the room for a second so I can calm my nerves down. It’s damaged my self esteem and self worth. I always feel less smarter than others because I can’t mentally keep up. I have a “what’s the point” attitude because I feel like my brain is wired to be this way. So I end up in this endless cycle.  I purposely went to the ER and told them I was having migraines and went blind for a second (I wasn’t actually having migraines and no I didn’t go blind). I did that so they can perform a CT scan just to see if my brain was out of wack. Maybe they’d tell me something? But it came back normal. I know that. I know sounds pretty stupid. I’ve gone to therapy a few times and explained my situation to them. I didn’t really find it useful. Although they said my best bet was medication. But here’s the thing. After a few weeks of taking the meds, I saw no progression. I am aware that meds are hit or miss, and take time. But eventually I lost the will power to even go to the therapist. Stopped going because I didn’t feel like it. I’m so pathetic. I’m so all over the place. Endless cycle of nothingness. ",1.4311661807580194,3.602374740524784,3.4378309037900903,87.86992419825073,81.47813411078717,6.485597667638482,22.044897959183675,7.658307877764058,0.9520439650145768,1308,42,277,22,35,442,167,343,0.14400000000000002,0.7659999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9179,3,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,5,8,12,11,1,1,17,0,29,11,4,2,1,42,65,24,0,7,7,0,4,3,0,3,7,3,1,2,15,13,0,3,8,0,2,8,8,5,2,2,16,12,41,6,37,43,7,36,0,3,5,0,12,15,0,4,15,179,56,1,0.0,0.0,0.17127104186046618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603718563760018,0.09508172833398533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444285945572455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674776264290355,0.0,0.16048258816430294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209270538622254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39185120503803256,0.0,0.10036752107590118,0.0,0.0,0.2784971849794001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544849473855255,0.0,0.0,0.05796087590517634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311360573152278,0.1253833537837244,0.0,0.0,0.08020582432501715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04584799063772983,0.0,0.14961834298510654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861060034672078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800003827673402,0.0,0.0,0.144682375928645,0.07153145257679212,0.0,0.09291911436004772,0.0,0.0,0.1239668897452222,0.12861692924477328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579416553829166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816097166373597,0.0,0.19495044995381372,0.08840320731500237,0.26530702994237243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19520606544214836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859805647689681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168454757741687,0.0,0.08295616157353282,0.0,0.0,0.17855530690140778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821729172315082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243528078455678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347441810573608,0.06978572757590035,0.0,0.0,0.06992880150001364,0.0,0.18309371011471687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863949019547233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755753388989169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336650947612333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196059844271754,0.0,0.07670111075782933,0.0,0.10035466980382222,0.101889485545275,0.05830004591723061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351068333340126,0.0,0.0,0.08385297747529183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158304895631505,0.0,0.07240647336482298,0.0,0.06965526475590164,0.0703911920971033,0.0,0.07890163875729722,0.1626981979436502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388616274703939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Soexi,2019/03/05,"Experiencing the highest of highs or the lowest of lows Hey everyone! I was wondering if people can relate to something I’ve noticed about myself the past few years (I’m sure some people can) and if anyone had any strategies they use for situations like mine. I want to improve my mental state. I’m (24f) from the USA if that matters.

I only feel so depressed it’s difficult to even go out in public or so happy that I can’t even handle it. I’ll be in one state for a couple of months of constant depression before it does a 180 and I’m so ecstatic that it feels super weird. 

Obviously I like the overly happy me better but it is so extreme that it almost hurts my body and feels like when you are a kid and super excited at Disney world or something.

Anyone have any strategies on feeling more neutral? I’d gladly just have a month of feel average or less extreme. 

Thanks and sorry if this post doesn’t fit into the sub. ",3.372990990990992,5.065367524324326,4.974594594594596,81.36423423423425,73.75675675675676,7.095495495495496,25.30630630630631,7.793537801064563,1.4941063063063065,732,24,137,10,15,247,117,185,0.081,0.693,0.226,0.9807,1,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,3,9,18,0,0,10,0,11,1,1,1,2,30,24,19,0,5,10,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,7,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,6,0,1,2,6,12,12,19,21,4,21,0,4,0,0,5,11,0,11,9,90,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959476340140922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18960143775703567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495154199926068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862406113288325,0.0,0.0,0.1232930941896974,0.0,0.1548484079464938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064813616262038,0.0,0.0,0.15424985712883016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24014000847448996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219949478769782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841524214840679,0.0,0.0,0.13320820820570906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35243878514475385,0.09959152554406246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922752410958799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29680011530462896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728987298652432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923678342234611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043198847013522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048824958110148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22254474607341185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871441798356906,0.0,0.0,0.0944649724000592,0.1060243865587944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307860240404878,0.19329284646940914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351221326123033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15669795090025512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21464277861619532,0.0,0.15605337064298866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313883090080648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834612336612933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040184471552502,0.0,0.0,0.08222514790590547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117963459597586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977275934561169
mentalhealth,fexofenadine_hcl,2019/03/05,"Ways to release emotion other than crying? I'm trying to find ways to release emotions other than through crying. I'm not against crying, but I have trouble getting myself to cry without having an authentic ""trigger"" to make me cry. Plus it can be time consuming an exhausting.

What are other ways that could provide a similar type of emotional release? The only thing I can really think of is exercise. Any other ideas for actually getting feelings out of my system? ",5.652857142857144,8.052922380952385,6.64952380952381,68.76214285714286,69.23809523809524,8.609523809523811,37.0,9.23628265651192,4.192471428571428,376,21,52,8,7,125,60,84,0.23,0.75,0.02,-0.9633,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,8,2,0,2,0,12,15,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,16,13,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,43,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.12954047925296652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027150598936448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598649653144522,0.0,0.7290736051919897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4479625305688093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712012372996552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132700086458947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387081112015576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985353482330854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860866573090206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095895009536386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504017958645528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881902253475023,0.0850579695180473,0.0,0.0,0.07740498052461235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012549478616992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161016461728391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796194474336164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nintendo67,2019/03/05,Is therapy covered under health insurance? My family looks down on mental health issues and care. My mom and i have been in numerous fights about me talking to someone and it always ends with her ignoring me. But like I can't deal with this anymore. The new random anxiety attacks just aren't working for me and suicidal episodes are wearing me down. Is mental health covered under blue cross blue shield federal insurance? If not how much does it cost? Are there affordable places in Boston I can go to? ,4.298602150537636,7.004937784946242,4.807741935483873,78.99827956989247,74.3763440860215,8.434408602150539,29.68817204301075,9.150863307647796,3.0878946236559144,406,18,67,10,9,129,68,93,0.151,0.7929999999999999,0.056,-0.8677,1,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,2,0,1,0,9,4,1,1,0,13,12,7,1,1,4,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,3,0,0,1,3,10,2,13,11,1,12,0,0,3,0,5,8,0,2,3,47,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480531156394294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313101213200354,0.0,0.17258910204181424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19798207531746315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743323560986127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941531872717978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229315387642903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413723302379542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405819467767405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890417374199252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5549511636558451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816401115213424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502133403156907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613976508603102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35075876474590306,0.0,0.0,0.2038195951124632,0.0,0.0,0.12793066971143607,0.0,0.0,0.16807741327718365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18182231353722725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147453435491221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19035848401157826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398771862735805,0.0,0.0,0.19901628704213495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669452182085786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Trowit25away,2019/03/05,"This is how crazy I'm becoming. I dont want to go outside or anything. Dont want to see people or confront my situations.

Yet... a few weeks ago I walked for 5 hours straight from  los angeles to san Marino then to north el monte... I basically went from a small city to the outskirts of mountains.... just walked and walked. Had to talk to myself.  I was called crazy once. A more schizo person wanted me to talk to them but I did my own thing. Eventually I started picking up trash. Then my mom called and said to come back home. So yeah. Now I'm home. Ruined relationship. They cant live with me at home. But if I leave my mom would worry. But if I dont they won't live....
I'm becoming mad. I'm looking at homeless who are crazy and I can become one of those. I cant be helped. But they still care for me  crazy stuff... I appreciate that.. ",-0.5717241379310316,1.6427726781609238,1.5014114942528778,96.69473793103451,95.20689655172414,4.623080459770115,17.304827586206898,6.360717304075467,-0.2800811034482753,642,18,149,8,25,212,107,174,0.154,0.773,0.07200000000000001,-0.8816,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,4,0,7,4,2,0,4,1,14,0,0,2,0,20,29,15,0,6,9,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,3,0,1,5,3,23,1,20,21,3,22,1,1,2,0,15,6,0,4,10,91,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519158153528838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765324394755394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124798499738564,0.0,0.0,0.3931768019170031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423455770312626,0.0,0.12098942821319818,0.0,0.0,0.10222154640570136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4172322896286839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744147672115959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954032594289336,0.0,0.35709954358165635,0.0,0.11686358683260885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565175157743302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20957115870241608,0.0,0.09965081545290444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277963890885975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637701794267506,0.08041217125845519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822691050366658,0.10361588651214344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740448828586085,0.0,0.0,0.11287997005923395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456263605936102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338724548902128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399346949207886,0.0,0.09476802128685104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584590012984754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19076088793785087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883741614410535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099795037411349,0.0,0.09518791309560268,0.0,0.0,0.11000596427822568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051260968386755,0.0,0.08429798948492856,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RunTalkRun,2019/03/05,"RunTalkRun Run Talk Run is a Running Mental Health Support Group.

We are a physical & virtual running community committed to supporting each other and being open about mental health.

Physical in the sense that we have “real” runs worldwide, where we come together on a weekly basis for a gentle 5k jog and a chat, and virtual in the sense that we have a wonderful [online community](https://www.facebook.com/groups/500028130365033/), and through instagram- @runtalkrun 

​

Run Talk Run is FREE, and most importantly, for ALL abilities.

To join us, take a look at where we’re running by following the links below.

​

**Click here to meet our** [**Run Leaders** ](https://runtalkrun.com/become-a-run-talk-runner/meet-our-run-leaders/)**or take a look** [**Where and When We Run**](https://runtalkrun.com/become-a-run-talk-runner/where-we-run/)**.**

​

If anyone has any questions, then please comment and we'll do our best to get back to you in a timely manner.",6.7836,10.78523752666667,4.154166666666669,76.41125000000002,83.73333333333333,6.7666666666666675,26.91666666666667,7.793537801064563,2.581866666666668,799,31,107,16,24,220,94,150,0.0,0.79,0.21,0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,0,96.0,9,1,0,1,7,4,0,0,12,0,9,2,0,0,2,23,19,10,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,15,0,0,3,2,1,12,0,0,0,0,0,3,10,5,16,17,4,27,0,0,3,0,17,10,0,4,5,68,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4686226630560834,0.3941587783733826,0.0735301346368824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560498116708789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314306425626784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347271868717522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314192090299638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05649194604707178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298680983482747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18159906002587792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21793336651456907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869108390527285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112709607360432,0.0,0.0,0.12307230982730664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454026994289653,0.0,0.0,0.16259624258059796,0.34763386312265115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304978051668457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006358583982566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867330360791472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725922564407652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3941587783733826,0.0
mentalhealth,crazygurl3,2019/03/05,Eveytime I tried to explain something was wrong with me my mom wouldn't listen My mom would always tell me nothing was wrong with me when I tried to explain that I had shit going on. Like I just wanted to sit there and sleep and not take care of myself. My problems had stopped me from doing a lot of things and my mom would get angry at me because I was the way I was. ,3.881538461538465,4.163559974358975,4.411948717948722,91.21638461538464,71.05128205128204,6.24,25.856410256410257,3.1291,0.3804994871794869,290,8,64,0,5,92,49,78,0.24,0.731,0.029,-0.9503,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,2,0,10,2,2,0,0,16,18,4,0,5,2,3,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,6,1,16,2,10,9,1,7,0,0,0,0,7,2,1,1,3,48,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577373762951434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679538730280408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861987005308322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153056365589224,0.0,0.09956562309637793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558993800829176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489419318810445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.615548087168572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810140201011714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763503698957846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983202020315006,0.0,0.0,0.17531847260750338,0.0,0.0,0.13487132304234853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646831567551194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317225443015496,0.0,0.1531254871379192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638974772379998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23788766975731634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033327518113438,0.13905921624973905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489026710829861,0.3830897928159556,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,schtr0,2019/03/05,"I don’t know Apologies for the vague title, but here goes;

I know that it’d be best if I just went and saw a doctor, but i don’t have the motivation to seek professional help at the moment. 

I just want to hear back from this community, and go from there. 

Recently, I’ve realized that I have some issues that have been there for years now, but I’ve been burying them as best I can until now. I have no idea who I am anymore. I’m never happy, and I feel like I’m physically incapable of being happy at this point. My mood is ALWAYS changing, most times for the worst. I’ll randomly become angry, or sad, or pretty much anything negative. I’m always thinking about worst case scenarios when it comes my relationship with my girlfriend, with work, etc. I never feel like I’m actually here in the moment; rather, I feel like I’m just going through the motions everyday until I get tired enough to go to sleep, like I’m just on autopilot. I feel as if I can never truly enjoy anything, regardless of how much fun it might be. I could be having the best day of my life and I can guarantee you that my mood will turn sour in the blink of an eye. 

I wasn’t always like this; in fact, I used to be the complete opposite. But it feels like over the past few years, I’ve slowly debilitated into what I am now, and I feel like an empty shell. I have no motivation, and everyday is a struggle to get going. 

I’m tired of feeling this way, but I don’t know how to overcome this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have no idea who or what I am. Everyday is a struggle because I never know what my mood is going to turn into, and it’s causing problems not only for me, but for my relationship with my girlfriend as well. 

Please..anything you guys can tell me would be much appreciated. I’m lost and don’t know where to go. 

Thanks for reading. ",3.9529255319148926,4.531604313829792,5.496344680851064,82.4444,71.02127659574468,8.462808510638299,26.74212765957447,8.608573733854374,1.7146614042553194,1426,44,302,23,25,485,165,376,0.181,0.6459999999999999,0.173,-0.564,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,2,1,7,19,27,0,2,15,0,37,6,2,6,5,69,77,27,0,8,17,0,7,7,2,3,4,1,0,1,20,15,0,0,19,1,0,9,15,8,1,0,6,11,41,16,42,60,13,43,0,2,2,0,14,11,0,9,29,213,61,6,0.0,0.0,0.07668751929617504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19616677816439967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793509719630072,0.0,0.0,0.1940060125467971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042693175245061,0.0,0.04790462120882668,0.08679083991741933,0.0,0.0,0.247409989848602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807283320373733,0.0831323965220688,0.06769392670385274,0.08239476488591553,0.0,0.0,0.06274364233296648,0.0,0.0,0.05068075464405769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043496763487296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119920125473819,0.08764292837077256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27814418082831505,0.2807053153370225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211472595784647,0.0,0.2679696331637849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781139890067146,0.0,0.16731015917973865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885708854813086,0.0,0.052673797097619206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17742555700942178,0.0,0.08202221101268042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591292112272835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550683376567892,0.26874826377698463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578469352879467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336615251755483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733068147477768,0.0,0.2424380555094285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059767352091083824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501817217552577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742881245107362,0.0,0.0,0.07994908768402173,0.0,0.07519512921980435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860615891675306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759310101751618,0.16874153043108142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786416457984229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643079849791266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686866600142615,0.07235041101129439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035402614167297,0.0,0.0,0.04582348291308585,0.18064354777388614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095559413767142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787211583193914,0.0,0.0,0.04635140579576466,0.0623770300223927,0.0,0.0,0.07065725622933504,0.07284898286787721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721073784806632,0.0,0.0,0.05582445308376422,0.08592024373572542,0.0,0.10121218882076634
mentalhealth,iLuora,2019/03/05,"Is it normal to think about cringey things you've done several times a day? Im not sure if i'm posting this in the right area, but its something that i feel is affecting my mental health.

​

For the past couple of months now, everyday when i am by myself or my mind is not occupied with an activity, i shift into this thought process.

​

I'm not sure if its cause i overthink situations, or i hold onto the slightest negative reaction of someone but it hammers at me at every oportunity. I pretty much say things without thinking, and realise it can be percieved another way or what i just said was idiotic. The feeling is pretty overhelming and the only way i can get over it,  is to recite negative things about myself until i've found something else to occupy my mind.  

​

I feel like i do cringey things every day, and if i didnt so something remotely cringey that day I remember one of the worse things i've said or done in the past and replay it in my head. 

​

This happens more than several times a day. 

​

Example: In the shower, on the way to work, when i cant find background noise for myself when doing work, in the toilet, leaving work, cooking. etc.

​

Basically every opportunity i have peace to myself, something would pop up and i do the rounds of this cringe fest circus until I hyper focus my attention on something. 

​

This surely can't be normal. 

​

I've never been diagnosed professionally with my mental health before. The one time i tried to talk to my gp about feelings of depression, she suggested its cause i havent been excercising and i have low vitamin d (?) levels.

​

Is this normal? Am i making it a bigger issue than it is for myself as everyone likely goes through this?

​",4.728410553410555,6.943530051051053,5.561127198627203,76.37456081081082,71.31231231231232,8.12050622050622,30.81177606177605,8.841846274778883,2.8571794079794084,1429,63,238,28,28,466,168,333,0.092,0.8240000000000001,0.084,-0.6167,1,0,5,0,0,0,74.0,0,0,0,4,9,9,1,0,16,0,28,6,1,4,4,49,43,22,0,7,14,0,5,2,0,1,4,3,1,0,25,9,1,1,11,1,0,0,11,3,0,2,10,8,34,6,41,30,3,40,0,2,1,0,6,18,0,7,20,176,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4594704564949614,0.5152811365677673,0.0,0.04446654558203444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03608451016506895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871255944228917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046921598235374944,0.0,0.10939383392982903,0.0,0.03652435473074272,0.043041349459170916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679242880239926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035424896764555416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04729406664646192,0.0,0.0,0.1071870306422318,0.040520893460939435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576729411328532,0.030294961928708137,0.0,0.0,0.038758452714198435,0.0,0.0,0.046496154508837886,0.0,0.0,0.02215546304932368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749961826725977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043520943924533616,0.09015150858725793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04580591877396023,0.04426100298375592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490198973051121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04143500560240546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028306434316565463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547085003949034,0.0,0.08563624543578903,0.0,0.03384818423503897,0.0,0.031173399456685805,0.0,0.0327062370234688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464706953577265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057471009241445985,0.032251787858116686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096293678266095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040613369417431114,0.08628459937477145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04803790119949398,0.036214620271883734,0.08067591884314716,0.03372307242197138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581375780827553,0.0,0.0,0.04766628918370682,0.0,0.0,0.035930593157971875,0.16323162967246682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990188314312768,0.0,0.0,0.03408445693608201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086380832905285,0.05434429708207101,0.0,0.033665746171017336,0.074182101002933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02879099213795046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098008373044708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040878015192082166,0.0,0.09261654644513306,0.0,0.043215489559764265,0.0301241121642654,0.0,0.5152811365677673,0.0
mentalhealth,DefiantVanilla,2019/03/05,"What is wrong with this woman? So for the past view years,  this very peculiar woman keeps making it into the news. That isn't what I'm curious about, it's that her behavior is a huge rabbit hole and I'll list the peculiar things about her - 

1. She is obsessed about claiming she is allergic to water in her bloodstream, making up these stories about how when she was 8 a nurse gave her a saline IV and then she almost died of anaphylactic shock. 

2. She repeatedly clarifies that she isn't allergic to chlorine or additives in the water, but to the compound itself.

3. She always claims that she will instantly die if she drinks water, but in the same article says how she drinks milk mixed with orange juice, which is essentially water contaminated with fat and sugar.

4. She changes identities a lot, including first and last name to make it seem like there are multiple people with her condition, but the stories are too similar to be a coincidence and every single one of them includes the little detail about how they can only drink milk.

5. Her parents names change as well.

6. She uses the name of a real, documented disease, however her symptoms are ridiculous and are not seen in people with the real disease (the real disease just causes itchy skin and nothing more - not death from drinking water). I am presuming she does this to try and make her claims seem more legitimate.

7. She and her family have been doing this since 1996, and she claims to be 32 years old in 2019.

8. Her parents claim ''thieves'' keep breaking into her home to steal this ultra rare Swedish medicine and mentioned that they received thousands of pounds worth of donations.

9. They also mentioned that she had an appendix surgery and doctors had to re-innovate surgery just for her, by not using any water based products inside her body (which is 98% water already..)  

10. She now says she's writing a book all about herself which she's been writing since she was 12 and says it's a ''long awaited'' book.

11. She mentions a real immunologist as diagnosing her with the allergy but this doctor never worked at the hospital she claims to have went to, nor did this doctor write up anything about her condition.

12. There's no medical literature on anaphylaxis from drinking uncontaminated water, or antibodies against water, which would need to be present to be an allergy in the first place. 

13. Her parents say after numerous doctors told them an allergy to water is impossible, they admit they took her to Chinese Herbalists and Holistic therapists. ",5.978013750954927,7.755670463203463,6.260061115355235,74.38320091673036,67.31168831168831,9.158237840590782,32.419404125286476,9.5536054971066,3.2550698242933533,2022,87,337,43,34,648,244,462,0.07200000000000001,0.893,0.035,-0.9561,4,0,5,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,7,3,20,9,1,1,26,0,31,32,4,10,2,69,49,31,3,3,12,3,1,1,0,2,11,4,1,2,26,23,19,2,4,7,2,3,8,7,1,4,12,8,48,2,54,31,6,34,0,0,2,0,69,15,0,7,16,236,74,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193624604007431,0.0,0.09029628382448836,0.06543568499312115,0.06808522753060396,0.0,0.0,0.05564402874103616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733527272127593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088949286681933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405715136419864,0.17312069409508107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305098519840479,0.1698435431835162,0.0,0.0,0.33500676051767586,0.071605895674975,0.0,0.0,0.4007883495559055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894136767848781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713763668093866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920116386972947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820774753051314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546022179983514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669856315050157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039975721953670856,0.08201047463290335,0.0,0.07241284011507965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956496750286703,0.0,0.0,0.21847616647565768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243040918925226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060672443679124125,0.06310873708800181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851360876237197,0.0,0.08586191691175171,0.0,0.055446959700652665,0.06223184890072767,0.0,0.0,0.2725720290839845,0.0,0.07811153401143478,0.11345475890497432,0.0,0.08549005180556822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725405470328792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602831392374125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898141037397394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537351325390082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504784583104995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500551213772666,0.054361111849546784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818760715769256,0.09091094981077344,0.05555402634772251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134162244929152,0.0,0.06751446478797808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357079642248275,0.07585289854394854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059569813095185435,0.0,0.0,0.05812636510950332,0.08946315067675595,0.0,0.10538565657061263
mentalhealth,ehohteeetch,2019/03/05,"In the last 1 year, I've lost all motivation to go out and exercise during to my ongoing fight with depression and anxiety But this community taught me to never give up, and that I'm not alone in this journey of mine.

And today - 365 days since I last did - I found the courage to put on my shoes again, and went out for a 3km run that lasted 20 minutes.

And it felt great. The wind blowing on my skin, in the coldness and stillness and quietness of the night. The pain in my legs as they are exerted to a force they've not experienced in a year. The crunching of the leaves (and a snail) on the running trail in the darkness.

[](https://i.imgur.com/m0qSmAU.jpg)

One step at a time yeah?

Thank you everyone.",3.6827272727272735,5.360193623188408,4.266495388669302,86.8187549407115,72.91304347826087,7.9167325428195,27.03820816864296,8.575989854853784,1.7794840579710147,552,20,115,10,11,175,90,138,0.107,0.782,0.111,0.1381,0,1,0,0,1,0,27.0,0,1,1,2,2,7,1,0,15,1,2,5,3,1,2,20,11,11,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,12,0,0,3,1,0,7,3,4,0,1,6,5,10,3,24,5,1,32,0,2,0,0,4,13,0,0,12,73,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20078262922365872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830394586852266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502499139126513,0.0,0.16697310887601907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18524350684591612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861379799741552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125597433918724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18597015359706304,0.1101762766909618,0.0,0.0,0.21373360639682945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4740703618668207,0.0,0.20527193088812928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162333996929547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951837248606994,0.0,0.0,0.18192641146049912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136594957021328,0.0,0.20628290095539287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488491613861805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16036469998773625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548184921561654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784821393716593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304252663487276,0.0,0.18375856591821996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179712072558625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496816222425981
mentalhealth,rickyyean,2019/03/05,"I talked to 12 high-achieving millennials about how they take care of their mental health I interviewed twelve of my friends, mostly 25-35 yo high-achieving millennials in San Francisco and NYC about their experiences with mental health to try to get a better understanding of this topic beyond my own limited experiences. I wrote about it: [https://medium.com/@rickyyean/how-we-take-care-of-our-mental-health-eb1824cc1fde?source=friends\_link&sk=78aadea30327749575a6cb4ff6114dbf](https://medium.com/@rickyyean/how-we-take-care-of-our-mental-health-eb1824cc1fde?source=friends_link&sk=78aadea30327749575a6cb4ff6114dbf) 

​

Would love to get this sub's take.

​

Some things I learned:

* I wanted to know “How do people become aware of their mental health enough to want to work on it?”
* Answers I got from people, “Triggering life event, lots of suffering, luck / chance” - which was very unsatisfying.
* What is good fitness? weight, BMI, blood pressure. What is good sleep? 7-9 hours, falling asleep quickly, feeling refreshed. What is good mental health? SHRUG 
* How do you improve what you don’t know how to measure? If the only measure is to tell people if they’re depressed and make it a “condition” that’s scary and unhelpful. 
* I also wanted to know “How people got better?”
* Answers amount to a \*perspective shift\*. Everyone gets there differently, but ultimately the story we tell ourselves gets reinterpreted or loses its power.
* Journaling, meditation, therapy, mental frameworks and thinking exercises all help, but all starts from being kinder to ourselves.
* There’s a lot of luck involved in getting better. Most people aren’t lucky enough to even find help. We need to make mental health a more tenable problem, more like general fitness. 

​",10.047955729166668,14.701857050781252,5.898937500000002,67.96897916666668,66.3828125,7.163333333333332,28.84583333333333,8.238735603445708,2.7011483333333337,1479,52,180,24,30,394,153,256,0.063,0.7340000000000001,0.203,0.9882,3,0,0,0,0,0,109.0,2,2,4,7,14,18,0,1,7,0,11,12,3,8,2,49,36,15,0,8,5,0,2,1,1,1,7,0,0,0,13,7,1,1,10,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,4,2,17,13,30,30,13,11,0,3,0,1,18,6,0,11,5,109,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787716238162622,0.0,0.324339807889045,0.21824191194117107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612053047590903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884761245555853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831210952117686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156502242607336,0.0,0.0,0.06255029030014894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237212191123367,0.0,0.03954286419811805,0.0,0.0,0.05720732906690236,0.0,0.11712660466362315,0.0,0.0,0.030271530304768608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471911819226013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04625458747396561,0.0,0.15639522688635105,0.0,0.0,0.15064565623877665,0.09576530628518597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4454651173746059,0.0,0.0,0.08025776475003236,0.12650962497971993,0.0,0.0,0.05895883722296024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987071960846011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042287196403639996,0.029248935523481394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697801975701262,0.0,0.1017968481741251,0.054034047543580765,0.0,0.07992595248273067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48267040790207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04439205363894124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045533019719166686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20752789229732715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572864813608066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059912167489539814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042375537409000165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800559409164054,0.048120378833421226,0.10465616880958102,0.0,0.06846534007166583,0.0,0.03977425741841164,0.03836159349596264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040647074156596005,0.0,0.0,0.06232566842032621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049398137944187716,0.10593673972171004,0.0,0.0,0.07290422900806741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043585294704275405,0.0,0.0,0.04252917076200753,0.0,0.21824191194117107,0.0
mentalhealth,HUGE_GENITALS,2019/03/05,"I think I might have something on the spectrum of bipolarity I haven't got to see a psychiatrist in a while for now, and since I'm not financially independent I can't go to right now, but I would rather describe what I have to see if it's worth it to do a check up or not 

What I have is basically two me that exchange places throughout the year. One me is particularly excited, nearly violent and very cheerful, while the other me is much more calm, even kind of depressed, and with long periods of me staring in the void. I change of me multiple times during the year, and the period lasts for multiple months, at least 5 or so. There's a difference you can see between the two phases, but they don't really affect me in life, I don't change viewpoint except eventual depressions on my calm period. Since I don't know much about neither mental health or bipolarity, I'm wondering what would it be like. I know it's not something serious, but rather on the spectrum of some other thing",9.753505154639177,6.771282572164949,9.864407216494843,67.5315592783505,60.90721649484537,13.823711340206184,39.7139175257732,12.161744961471696,4.601197938144329,785,30,153,20,8,263,107,194,0.076,0.809,0.115,0.6711,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,0,8,10,1,0,12,0,17,4,0,2,0,28,28,14,0,5,13,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,0,11,5,0,0,4,0,3,1,9,4,0,3,1,4,20,6,24,23,6,25,0,2,4,0,2,11,0,7,14,116,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170276405951348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581187784764415,0.0,0.0,0.15655383985111468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896976015971916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515911977679504,0.0,0.11984298035646565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592758958090856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603822401342415,0.16469937489583394,0.12214188614028855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583840525376947,0.0732056261575461,0.0,0.0,0.13260616802904046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510063050406677,0.15895953770031435,0.0,0.0,0.11960309816288082,0.0,0.2203034070837446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153736330572448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655383985111468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599313846587748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279649375940764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582159484978493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479030351067533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23071262542695836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954890211059818,0.09601321969541997,0.0,0.0,0.08737454518065396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927492968951661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363600775549433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624981312373585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128880603599751,0.0,0.0,0.19298770854512065
mentalhealth,pigdiz,2019/03/05,"Do you ever feel that you overcorrect happiness? Hey all!

I'm really just wondering how common this is. Without much conscious thought I feel like I'll have a really great day one day. And the next day, I'll feel panicky and want to completely isolate for the entire day. It's just weird, in my opinion. The feeling of ""I'm so happy I reached out and connected"" one day and ""I'm scared something bad might happen if I leave my apartment"" following this great day.  ",2.776333333333333,5.217193744444447,3.912222222222223,84.825,78.22222222222223,7.555555555555558,27.777777777777786,8.515128840125781,2.3157777777777784,367,16,69,8,9,119,61,90,0.133,0.633,0.234,0.9101,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,5,8,0,1,4,0,4,0,0,1,2,22,16,7,0,2,4,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,1,4,7,5,6,14,2,13,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,4,10,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491456225549508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156858795116329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5789000395882264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353269768447276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30258067372367936,0.1068783862845664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298817615784919,0.0,0.0,0.13229588127965272,0.3185162311706669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841090061960195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308981844734583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870807150786695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997744894927594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591074251558314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20275347235378016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916825640576448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978146672499454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517382468443416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877026392347036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824135459502364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421461589973475,0.16224106716348635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,poppin-pocky,2019/03/05,"My parents don't really understand how anxiety works and I'm bad at explaining. Can anyone help? I was diagnosed with aspergers and as a result have anxiety. My parents often tell me during anxious episodes (eg right now as I'm a few days away from radiotherapy.) to just get over it. To not be anxious and to stop jumping to the worst case scenario. I know that's not how it works but because they keep telling me to get over it I'm becoming more anxious and erratic. I'm always on the border of an emotional outburst and I've already had one in public.

Any advice on how to explain how anxiety works/ why it's different to feeling anxious? ",2.5925824175824173,5.085933484126986,4.672539682539687,78.82587912087915,79.23809523809524,8.003907203907204,31.12087912087912,8.841846274778883,3.159601465201465,513,27,91,13,13,176,84,126,0.159,0.797,0.043,-0.8926,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,3,7,2,0,0,5,0,6,1,0,5,0,23,18,12,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,5,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,2,1,7,0,19,15,3,12,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,1,3,61,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13021077057791544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147045154589972,0.0,0.1108750258979753,0.0,0.0,0.09061485657746964,0.0,0.3058086252196928,0.6021401963075244,0.0,0.09317179356233034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519315817189178,0.0,0.11125853682250768,0.08122822070376348,0.147164622576708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593549890970181,0.0,0.0,0.13524637382736834,0.0,0.13921833049175011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988879017318948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737541728803567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392356919817168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931494933023942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843909790807805,0.0,0.0,0.07323094734641734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902939347600844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959176498814527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853636326556554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379513265385717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114033196777086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23293348483944526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387183890374294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202377804303797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.291023683516255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlackQueerGirl,2019/03/05,"I keep having episodes of depression I am a 19 year old girl. To be honest, I feel that I am suffering from bipolar disorder or BPD. 

These has developed in the past few years. I have trouble making up my mind. One minute I am hopeful and happy, the next minute I am hopeless and sad.

My personality changes rapidly. I go from wanting to help people, to being apathetic and not caring. 

One minute I like a person, the next minute I hate them. One minute I am positive, then next minute I am negative. I am trying to identify my triggers to help myself, but it seems like everything is my trigger. 

I am a homebody, don't really go out much, and don't have any friends. I am sure that plays a factor. Which is way I am trying to get out more, and meet people.

I also do not like my living conditions. Therefore, I am also in the process of changing that. ",2.5974161735700183,4.535837775147932,4.374414201183432,83.76738067061146,76.57396449704143,7.3469033530572,26.651282051282053,8.238735603445708,1.862751163708088,660,26,130,12,15,223,95,169,0.136,0.711,0.152,0.5796,0,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,1,0,2,16,1,0,8,0,22,1,0,4,1,22,33,10,0,2,4,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,3,6,7,0,1,2,1,0,2,5,6,0,3,0,1,25,10,15,31,3,16,0,4,0,0,8,5,0,3,11,95,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178065718826934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260723065022712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17151424067682927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884482706514178,0.0,0.2881212667580842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729183816444637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607434914982599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239001562831395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885681934081203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521251292264268,0.0,0.07114855294766767,0.0,0.1547887333737432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449663940325781,0.0,0.13444979007818375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18255748396108756,0.0,0.0,0.1352577020775635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104325131940193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995923544969405,0.0,0.1202496437812911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909013653313517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750321825960868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010814293815944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4344876793978592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428982502421366,0.0,0.27683775790655873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999944486955026,0.1888204586187772,0.2378146596185096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724054660645017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397337275224968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834826128950766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491488297784714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032263180545067,0.10809353307821364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17539121494384116
mentalhealth,jijithecat7,2019/03/05,"For those of you with anxiety, any suggestions for medication thats good for anxiety and mood stabilization? Hi guys, 

I’m currently looking into trying medication for my anxiety, but something that would also help with mood stabilization as that is something I struggle with heavily. Would prefer something with low risk of dependency and minimal side effects. Ive heard buspirone is a good one? I am currently seeing a therapist and will discuss this with him as well, but thought I could also get some good input here. Thanks in advance! (P.s. I’m Canadian) ",6.4667346938775525,8.963219091836738,7.128316326530613,65.77471938775511,67.26530612244898,11.022448979591838,37.76020408163265,10.9516,5.207995918367346,453,25,67,15,8,149,64,98,0.112,0.7020000000000001,0.18600000000000005,0.9012,2,0,3,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,2,4,10,0,2,2,0,8,2,0,2,0,19,16,9,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,5,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,3,7,5,15,10,1,7,0,1,2,0,8,4,0,2,2,47,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689731032343887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436227104914833,0.0,0.3859518207882652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342711225545168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786257876221132,0.0,0.0,0.4231623975993499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651605628003213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272169741076925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122156193178534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3388298443402009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395724532542473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401077657012492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883995171751293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580918773204848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482956587400706,0.0,0.195259875607194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335092508766103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417729382280276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120622198163666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23892817512159856,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BrokenHeadstone,2019/03/05,Bipolar and no insurance Hey guys. Im bipolar 1 mixed moderate and my insurance denied me so I wont have access to meds since theyre expensive as hell. Anyone out there with advice? ,2.171666666666667,4.757782833333334,4.308888888888891,80.20000000000002,81.77777777777777,8.044444444444443,25.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.5798,146,6,26,4,4,50,32,36,0.257,0.743,0.0,-0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4163306671474639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979037356200843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4218560154198532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4602065999298669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4732449788189743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524325716415144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,queenkazumi,2019/03/05,"I have felt this way 4 times in my life. I am 23 I dont want to think there is something wrong with me but when *this* happens whatever *this* is, I think everything is wrong with me, like serious illnesses or pregnancy or that im becoming blind; or I become convinced my life path is the wrong one and start doing things like trying to drop out of school. One weekend in college my friends got really worried I wasnt acting myself, I dissapeared with a random friend and got some peircings. more than one, over $500. and yet this time, and really any time, when I put it all together some things just arent right for mania in particular. Sometimes I can sleep while its going on or I am even extra exhausted. I dont engage in risky sexual behaviors or really spending other than the one time but I also have people who monitor my money and I've been in the same relationship since this began happening to me. 

I want to do things I dont normally want to do like take drugs or skip my classes ( a big deal for me). Sometimes ill do a bunch of crazy projects and im just generally so off topic and malmotivated, as in like very motivated about all the wrong things. I feel this feeling like I cant trust myself (not in the beginning but closer to the end). 

Every time is a little different. But the feeling is the same and something in my head yells to me that I am having a manic episode. It makes me want to reach out. Two things with that: 1- I didnt think people in mania would think it or admit it And 2- I also always during it feel like something is wrong with me so maybe it is something different making me a hypochondriac to the point of impairment just every so often or what. 

​

thoughts?

​",2.35458823529412,4.690697282352944,3.927647058823528,84.71441176470589,79.11764705882355,7.1764705882352935,23.235294117647058,8.219915518859313,1.5111764705882358,1356,45,264,27,34,450,167,340,0.149,0.7290000000000001,0.122,-0.8424,3,0,5,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,1,15,18,0,0,15,0,28,9,2,3,2,61,54,30,0,6,16,0,5,6,2,1,7,1,0,0,24,16,0,0,12,1,2,3,8,7,0,5,8,7,35,11,37,45,9,38,0,0,1,0,6,19,0,12,20,190,59,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727755950862215,0.06101311023349022,0.15889739169387482,0.17819824415755747,0.04986419789647168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196562331367426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559589148250531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322013728559114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578125954792458,0.0,0.08503488640340952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494507617155479,0.0,0.0,0.04843113478792845,0.0,0.12356064357497913,0.0,0.06590068525958606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830332543254507,0.10476822533180108,0.07040446391047803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330297923225655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041672858473894944,0.0,0.11729100940861607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968388822293953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525363574425609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840933654030462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358465176256823,0.2149402933956272,0.07349192050256484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789135552626256,0.0,0.07366582776744783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184391637353117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987503948816018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016700386067117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931677584082423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737128878635245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409235493827951,0.0,0.0,0.07872468794281166,0.0,0.06262000767452554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742098318090249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065602911543822,0.0,0.07337896022364873,0.0,0.0,0.2257997643178601,0.14504258789033728,0.0,0.05190052378815456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055132030270993455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24357269777798946,0.18793737307183814,0.0,0.05821265742318048,0.2137849161122087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04978354419017312,0.0,0.07162885225810424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060501633494760836,0.17299831038204572,0.05820276977181839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446611746714439,0.0,0.05208869016857005,0.4008523781184929,0.17819824415755747,0.0
mentalhealth,AllegraW,2019/03/05,"When a job application asks if you have a mental illness, should I admit I’ve got clinical depression even though I really don't want them to know? I have clinical depression but dont let it get in the way of my work, so should I still tell them?",9.328823529411768,5.520693745098042,9.856960784313724,69.81132352941178,62.529411764705884,14.905882352941177,37.26470588235294,13.023866798666859,4.498011764705881,195,6,42,6,2,67,40,51,0.175,0.795,0.03,-0.6966,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,2,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,0,0,7,13,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,3,9,0,4,0,2,0,0,6,1,0,1,2,29,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481125066009582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571760331264163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110459871792829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529372568847373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13866017324110472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122640540948346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26336784006278674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585650706569994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27138875179109345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674600582067724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002157886467031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21194821302370306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23197067434212834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607534514737896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653937543209526,0.2106616002983588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19321384145729534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ttrazi,2019/03/05,"Memory problems post depression Hi All,

I had severe depression and forms of DPDR for 4-5 years and I took medication and went through some self therapy to overcome it. I think I am the best I have been in many years, but I have some serious memory issues. 

I can't remember things I've done with friends or my significant other a week or so ago, and even a few days ago. I can't remember important conversations I've had with my SO that is REALLY important in our relationship (which is extremely frustrating for him and he has been very patient). I can't remember inside jokes with my loved ones which isn't as big of a deal but it really sucks that I don't. I rarely feel nostalgia or a need to think about the past. I suspect that I have an issue with reflecting on the past because I would avoid it in order to deal with past traumas as a child. It was easier to forget things as a child than to deal with them. I try to remember what I did a few days ago or think deeply about a past conversation and its like my brain doesn't want to comply. 

My question is, does anyone know methods to feel nostalgia again or improving one's memory? ",5.970880080618072,5.73085828820961,7.047685589519652,75.90909640577763,66.55458515283843,11.762311051394025,31.15250251931475,11.362043627235082,3.480073967080955,904,31,184,27,13,306,122,229,0.158,0.736,0.106,-0.7429,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,1,1,6,13,2,1,12,0,22,3,1,0,1,41,34,18,0,4,7,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,3,14,12,0,1,13,1,0,2,6,8,0,2,9,2,24,5,29,24,7,22,0,2,0,1,17,5,1,8,14,127,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27283238481145466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173669192029372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254085728167624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766694649166304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145297625598782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233035824684253,0.31731230032649616,0.1767295567812081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978142877901693,0.10499013320899174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776291888180476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375005928719527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079264512636362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141646990802799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056383436531215775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012265260620995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092595841368656,0.0,0.0,0.10401505666136836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335349962582056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607276788704312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904182655498654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3917535036220934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825748913905748,0.0,0.0,0.09816939840339407,0.0,0.0,0.11492969166976727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144975282501614,0.0,0.0,0.1101484544275804,0.4648797795483134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702878478380798,0.1159029576006846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732613151761198,0.0,0.1363188951373999,0.19721587707099394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398663320569642,0.06965515636541082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465148092594425,0.060513090001092625,0.0,0.08229538573352647,0.0,0.0,0.09510643703442356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288042499949958,0.0,0.0,0.13213541609299478
mentalhealth,Maurov2904,2019/03/05,funeral anxiety i dont know what it is but i have these weird thoughts about what people will say at my funeral and how many people will come. i have them almost everyday and i dont know why i know its irrational because it doesnt matter if im dead,1.5547169811320742,3.4851195660377385,3.6836226415094337,87.53260377358494,79.75471698113208,8.013584905660379,23.807547169811322,8.841846274778883,1.7827916981132073,199,7,43,5,5,68,36,53,0.334,0.6659999999999999,0.0,-0.9482,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,0,12,13,5,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,7,0,2,10,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,28,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420954070691349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495161254987524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737933300205794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20826144772992716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5666998379700735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26115058066731683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3986075805249209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451144793855448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33522253420783404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226336204155126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19193653127109975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21815772557795585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Naralex7,2019/03/05,"New Schizophrenic Tendencies Last night I had a dream and it convinced me that I was being watched and I was given depression for the benefit of others.  Leading up to my diagnosis, beginning plenty of years ago, I have always been an obsequious individual and I would just want to please others to feel validated, and being manipulated was just expected in my relationships. I feel physically sick and keep experiencing sleep paralysis.  Other times I feel absolutely disconnected from my body. Now I think they are after me, but I do not know what they want.  ",5.738117913832197,8.601309591836737,7.319931972789114,61.976655328798216,70.42857142857143,11.294331065759636,31.29705215419501,10.980518767755715,4.613479365079366,452,20,70,17,9,155,71,98,0.066,0.818,0.116,0.1901,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,1,3,3,0,0,3,0,11,4,2,2,0,21,21,6,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,5,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,6,5,16,2,10,12,0,12,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,9,56,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22339548406275275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20969609804610514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799310907640621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21705955973271346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822780286661608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22400190201784767,0.0,0.0,0.13850047646341895,0.20542530215758012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433969952707468,0.0,0.2364983621685436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27663603875865755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705690599664504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25219631614736765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148059679052196,0.0,0.0,0.14695157338573728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972891442253622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902373832249113,0.0,0.0,0.16228895587483338
mentalhealth,hamishbg,2019/03/05,"I used to be depressed now I honestly couldn't give a fuck I used to be depressed and suicidal due to social isolation and unprocessed grief caused by the passing of my brother (my only idol as a young child) I'm now almost fourteen and my dad has a diagnosis of prostate cancer that can't be cured only delayed. And sometime last year I stopped feeling sad and just said fuck it and decided to do whatever the fuck I wanted (as long as it didn't affect others too much). At first I just drank a lot then I started smoking weed more often than I already was, I then started to develop a habit of sniffing solvents (lighter fluid) throughout the day and night to try and stay constantly high. I then found dihydrocodeine lying around the house and gained a habit of going thru roughly 300mg a week for a short time till my school caught me with weed in my bag and kicked me out. Now I'm going to a school were I'm new and I don't give a shit about making friends ",5.961119962511718,5.707577108247424,6.190243673851921,82.0938847235239,66.57731958762886,9.116401124648547,33.100281162136824,8.575989854853784,2.4811195876288656,765,30,154,10,11,245,118,194,0.158,0.7340000000000001,0.108,-0.9006,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,9,10,4,0,14,0,11,7,2,5,0,31,32,18,2,2,2,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,4,14,1,2,3,0,0,4,4,8,0,1,7,3,18,2,25,21,3,34,0,4,0,4,8,6,4,3,23,97,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873928203019148,0.0,0.15289499084052188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334018162266885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233052395478615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972491618677355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935423513486232,0.0,0.2386683536736343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005578550245596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785180836578503,0.0,0.15191453388550538,0.1070445209065056,0.3842658002451917,0.0,0.2658223871509804,0.1574839849885509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638723352184274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986979242530025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293793908278475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261368970235152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177915039100151,0.0,0.0,0.09248418112393254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185127131726436,0.0,0.0,0.13381387169012915,0.0,0.13002116749610804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21074927039433808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179417455385475,0.0,0.0,0.2804429661559296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222109142389294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412357739843147,0.0,0.0,0.1370309451434154,0.0,0.19613488511405508,0.14767743061006128,0.0,0.11583523162815315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155281877550597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079047551029908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406735238516636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393279673809585,0.0,0.0,0.0817212458929277,0.0,0.11113763077148137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892226031549948
mentalhealth,CeilingCarpet,2019/03/05,Anxiety finally spilled out. Yesterday I went to the doctor and opened up about how anxious I have been the last year or so. I have missed 2 days of work and I had to call my boss this morning and tell him I cannot work due to my mental state. He understood and told me to take care of myself. I need to know how I can get over this. I feel like I cannot leave the house without feeling nervous,1.84,3.2930430000000013,3.137619047619048,93.94071428571432,77.33333333333334,6.704761904761906,23.904761904761905,7.447530270364453,0.7940190476190478,308,10,72,4,7,100,58,84,0.094,0.7979999999999999,0.108,0.2763,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,3,0,7,1,0,3,0,16,18,8,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,5,2,14,2,12,13,0,12,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,7,46,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702014568538454,0.2513462592042061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271834495946481,0.0,0.2268396725260853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348529672162513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277242175839871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249915777291356,0.15894430043650698,0.0,0.2437229329423594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623994060492945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567193884917379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227268524090842,0.1813560787125992,0.0,0.2355809313349965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869559754779204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242139220905714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497081723827556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728205436935098,0.0,0.19446288560975986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125952519553436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062470852314258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21446891213226452,0.0,0.32394544056993024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327392169658193
mentalhealth,FUCK-YOU-KEVIN,2019/03/05,"Dealing with irritability/anger: This has been a big problem for me the last few years, but my psychiatrist seems to suggest that there isn't enough research or knowledge on the topic to treat irritability itself as a symptom.

I will be going about my day normally and get a random sensation of anger, bordering on rage, that is directed at no person or thing in particular. It is like a disembodied anger that has no cause or target. I never direct that anger towards anyone or act out because I am good at controlling my actions, but it is often hard to not at least say something mean to someone because the feeling is so overwhelming.

If anyone out there has a similar problem or other experience with this, then I would love to get some advice on what to do with it. I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder three years ago, which was after I already had this problem.",12.56722222222222,8.691611277777781,11.838765432098766,58.27444444444446,56.5925925925926,14.750617283950618,46.7530864197531,12.45797560212912,5.771004938271606,705,32,116,16,6,232,105,162,0.222,0.684,0.094,-0.9768,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,5,12,4,1,8,0,17,3,0,2,1,31,24,12,0,6,9,0,2,1,0,2,2,1,0,1,15,7,0,1,4,0,0,3,5,8,0,1,4,3,10,4,25,17,4,22,0,1,0,1,5,11,0,10,9,98,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924363274749645,0.14445512083545195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983154919440927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278922828060083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986790630156453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740586777717753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827746523143504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050963830995901,0.16800566662170954,0.0,0.16540201542935107,0.0,0.0,0.18676745898005528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683823065063468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15940715738187666,0.0,0.0,0.08239799333961548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028082470345676,0.0,0.09261450894535904,0.13668398056340686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598107432060256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283498979548175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961452791420368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470786922492344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17751233563570934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256855927791815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159667209769499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229128593872245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4677950928243134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295931520538222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835360157675664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807635212595112,0.1254553626635457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937890712283313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826406742093793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157628403290612,0.0,0.0,0.20988312122346228
mentalhealth,LetsTalkReal11,2019/03/05,"Anxiety is... ""you have nothing to be anxious about"" 

""why are you freaking out? There is no reason for you to freak out""

People often think anxiety is caused by situations around them or you need a legit reason to be anxious. NO you can just be sitting and watching TV and have a meltdown out of nowhere. That is anxiety. Anxiety is a million voices in your head telling you you are not good enough. Anxiety is going from 0 to 100 and back in the span of 30 seconds. Anxiety is that suffocating feeling where you reach to a point where it hurts to breathe. A common advice people give is ""ignore it"" or ""try to be more positive"". You think I wouldn't ignore it if I could? You think I like thinking that the world would be a better place without me? Anxiety is when you lose control over your mind. Anxiety is the pain millions of people live with. ",3.9187288930581614,5.624236079268297,4.871463414634147,82.6059943714822,72.35365853658536,7.729080675422139,29.688555347091928,8.384062270229773,2.2541703564727964,663,28,125,11,13,216,94,164,0.228,0.7090000000000001,0.063,-0.9776,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,13,1,3,9,10,0,0,9,0,23,3,2,4,0,31,31,7,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,8,0,3,7,1,0,1,5,7,0,3,0,3,18,3,23,23,2,18,0,2,1,0,16,13,0,4,4,100,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801962632997424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6765100055978936,0.2497602875503903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840514513172063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499939494491046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977647491339788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135563097295649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239814070110598,0.0882581901856325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421865675618813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589297541960843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604123588401217,0.0628231375811101,0.09271675263251483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344720964609832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833669021558847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400486918912485,0.0,0.09760994551342447,0.0,0.0,0.1236673790271856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116151467912216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196493331810263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606730694425062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762367958486533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229906144808882,0.0,0.1154920746667657,0.0,0.10449720765027372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273096232131224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425299211001632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661792139168526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833214681570411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505024998210072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974628101185633,0.0,0.0,0.10655781656422876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852532964422879,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loudacriis,2019/03/05,"My diagnosis makes me feel like a bad person I was recently diagnosed with NPD, and my psychiatrist had the grace to call me ""begrudgingly likeable"" despite how supposedly unlikeable folks with NPD are. I go to group therapy for people with NPD and the stigma we deal with is a lot. Everything online is about how abusive or selfish we are and it's hard to find helpful literature without stigma. The group leader is a NPD specialist and he let me read a journal he is publishing on NPD but that's about all I've read that isn't full of stigma. I want to be a good person and I try my best to be kind to others so this diagnosis is a real slap in the face for me. My friends and family have been great about it and I try to take heart in the fact that I'm loved and supported but I still feel like a little gremlin sometimes. Does anyone have any advice for accepting my diagnosis? Thank you. ",3.6877608346709465,5.292411949438204,5.344975922953452,79.38730337078654,72.76404494382022,8.905939004815409,27.32102728731942,9.424239791934726,2.439817335473516,709,26,139,17,14,241,103,178,0.04,0.696,0.264,0.9932,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,0,1,7,14,0,0,12,0,16,4,2,3,2,30,26,14,0,1,4,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,7,14,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,3,18,12,22,20,4,8,0,0,0,1,14,5,0,2,4,94,25,3,0.0,0.17717435919350008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612373636718015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168883384000008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455825227769916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248553635854736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569276119639439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269181296835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416387653344965,0.0,0.15177473711317813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308589653194353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343922917845304,0.0,0.14096815950843392,0.0,0.15121863836194016,0.21365547039574567,0.0,0.0,0.13667215469606064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553026334292217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849841080325408,0.125422747502462,0.0,0.16486271311528872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395386459466976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177199531297354,0.1002300658513536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571754759231388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529095275581693,0.0,0.14611036042338088,0.1498732158107493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712919214397495,0.13496105106779932,0.0,0.0998156814549588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366864502512987,0.26113614711146205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29915065625311577,0.17020341015473242,0.0,0.0,0.1476476360757348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789380198520902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941873385084142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16969038918094373,0.0,0.0,0.11243160628250283,0.0,0.0,0.13767161016691354,0.1710061466399266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030487109661911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819953584516295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441462706779706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway_sevensix,2019/03/05,"Schizophrenia means/is...  

“I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia.”  One might ask, What does that mean?  The 2019 \[Gregorian\] way to go about answering that might be to answer “What is Schizophrenia”?  That is an entirely useless place to begin.  A better idea would be to first examine the verb, rather than the ‘object of preposition’.  So, “diagnosed” is the past tense of the English word “diagnose”.  The act of diagnosis means that a modern medical worker, usually a licensed psychiatrist or nurse-practitioner, decided in their professional judgment that the person met a valid criteria combination for the symptom-grouping called Schizophrenia, and they may have filed the medical bill to an insurance company using the corresponding alpha-numeric code for the diagnosis.  Schizophrenia is a symptom-grouping, which I will illustrate below the text from the Diagnostic Manual below.  If the diagnosis occurred before May 18, 2013, the criteria were specified in the DSM-4, but by now there is a DSM-5 with some minor changes to the criteria combination rules.  These are the possible symptom combinations from the DSM-4 for that diagnosis:

>A. Characteristic symptoms: Two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated):    
>  
>	(1) delusions  
>  
>	(2) hallucinations  
>  
>	(3) disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence  
>  
>	(4) grossly disorganized or catatonic behaviour  
>  
>	(5) negative symptoms, i.e., affective flattening, alogia (poverty of speech), or avolition (lack of motivation)  
>  
>Note: Only one Criterion A symptom is required if delusions are bizarre or hallucinations consist of a voice keeping up a running commentary on the person's behavior or thoughts, or two or more voices conversing with each other.    
>  
>B. Social/occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset (or when the onset is in childhood or adolescence, failure to achieve expected level of interpersonal, academic, or occupational achievement).    
>  
>C. Duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least 6 months. This 6-month period must include at least 1 month of symptoms (or less if successfully treated) that meet Criterion A (i.e., active-phase symptoms) and may include periods of prodromal (symptomatic of the onset) or residual symptoms. During these prodromal or residual periods, the signs of the disturbance may be manifested by only negative symptoms or two or more symptoms listed in Criterion A present in an attenuated form (e.g., odd beliefs, unusual perceptual experiences).     ([www.dnalc.org](http://www.dnalc.org/), 2019).  
>  
>D. and beyond:  exclusion conditions and sub-type characteristics

So, one person who receives the diagnosis might have a psychiatrist that decided they were experiencing ‘bizarre’ delusions for less than 1 month, and simultaneously experiencing temporary dysfunction in their relationships at work or with family or friends, with residual ‘negative symptoms’ lasting 6 months.  Delusions are defined as false beliefs which are resistant to reason or being confronted with actual fact.  In other words, the person was mistaken about something and could not be reasoned with about it – in the medical worker’s judgment of what is false and what is true, and what they consider bizarre.  The medication prescribed may cause “side-effects” that the medical worker may call negative symptoms (flattened mood).  A different person with a Schizophrenia diagnosis may have two or more voices in their mind which are so-to-speak “not their own” which are talking to one another, dysfunction in their relationships at work or with family or friends, and they decided to take the prescribed medication, which made the voices “quieter” or less relevant or less interesting, and they had a flattened mood as well for 6 months (which the medication is known to usually do).  Yet another person might have had a habit of sitting real still and not moving at all for significant periods of time, called catatonic behavior, and also difficulty communicating coherently with their speech.  Their relationships with family and friends did not function normally for a while during this time, and they took the prescribed medication and they had a flattened mood for 6 months.  All of these disparate scenarios have a patient that can correctly assert afterward, “I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia.”   

The key is, as I wrote above, the verb of course: at some point in the past, a thing happened, which was that a medical worker decided that an experience the person was having falls into one of numerous possible \[largely unrelated\] combinations of behaviors or phenomena.  The term “Schizophrenia” comes from the Greek roots for “split” and “mind” - based on the description of a person’s thinking being described as fragmented - which also might have essentially nothing to do with the experience the person had.  Please feel free to post any corrections or disputes or any comments in the comments section.",15.230752125572273,13.01994649640288,13.579313276651408,42.719153041203406,49.863309352517994,17.591105297580118,54.5293219969479,15.549919911452193,8.659101199040768,4254,244,537,156,33,1365,352,834,0.087,0.86,0.053,-0.9837,2,0,1,0,0,0,206.0,0,0,14,17,16,20,1,3,79,0,62,24,0,8,7,134,80,63,0,11,41,0,1,0,3,15,24,7,0,9,35,33,0,2,19,0,2,9,8,5,1,11,17,10,18,13,105,41,26,80,2,1,0,0,42,32,0,49,36,405,53,16,0.0,0.0,0.04098388228917504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717139478417672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571200106232423,0.08807689887997933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03926235777268565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03573711102742415,0.0,0.0,0.037143720708028204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865362374826705,0.0,0.0,0.043143401794536435,0.04442819880923477,0.03617746341497737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033531897698204145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050789686279946,0.0,0.043878856166594864,0.0,0.0,0.036752636483930366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232459853021138,0.1187756186878402,0.0,0.02123539503672769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035723383707580283,0.0,0.0,0.09734239670557457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02386836868079034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03713859535220671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04741050571398613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037329654243467375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03423388566491406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039739418904639806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914960284428226,0.0,0.3807761011907421,0.0,0.22276562164472652,0.08481179312427252,0.0,0.26817852037914386,0.04463711050367357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04114901512094518,0.04029810806337624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075314272448158,0.06388257555643304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018347616948313,0.0,0.3300384378615698,0.043878856166594864,0.04610107139768986,0.03970158088792746,0.09469262116185494,0.040222369250103834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780279323218156,0.0,0.0863616511438567,0.0,0.13527004949345695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043812958581423735,0.0,0.0,0.034741088532406546,0.0,0.0,0.042811559849967935,0.0,0.03233202748828935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03353956913748694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5674745482530172,0.03157718651464452,0.033756313062366684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0279015319037048,0.02691055205744932,0.0,0.033341633383162414,0.09795722939149004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04666120099901065,0.0,0.0,0.16410334366184892,0.0,0.0,0.036272692499419376,0.09250948464968384,0.0,0.0,0.033335970174140035,0.0,0.0,0.03776114677794228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172489215304226,0.0,0.0,0.029834096017716426,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IndigoLord,2019/03/05,"I think i've just had a panic attack, and I've no idea what to do I'm sat at my desk at work, feeling a lot of stress generally, and today specifically.

Been speaking to my doctor recently - past month or so, about maybe having some kind of worsening depression/anxiety type thing.

Over the past two hours been unable to focus, culminating in sudden chills, shortness of breath, and having to stop myself from sprinting but instead walk out the room. Those intense feelings lasted 5-10 minutes, and have subsided now, but i'm feeling pretty shell shook. 

​

I can't believe that reddit feels like the most appropriate place to turn to.

​

This hasn't happened before, what do I do?",7.065859374999999,7.936530117187503,6.967187499999998,73.60906250000002,64.234375,9.2125,33.1875,9.188382445141503,3.0396531250000005,557,22,92,9,8,177,95,128,0.102,0.804,0.094,0.2391,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,1,3,5,0,11,2,1,0,0,20,21,8,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,6,5,0,1,6,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,4,5,6,2,16,17,3,20,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,4,11,60,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128955829913461,0.3509021948021221,0.0,0.0,0.11045886333823664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426582094357142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286626577894255,0.16267942301825367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477904989410094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920340917878029,0.10315309330979493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768465038204085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219623444804666,0.0,0.0,0.1630000755041043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036120242566212,0.0,0.11769808957202757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054224080649088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275622426457113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506035549181515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525166841208155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941194789107206,0.0,0.0,0.27567545363583124,0.0,0.0,0.15085805899933213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689774741175282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256887832434534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071749828703145,0.16539961760924055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592708912283143,0.09252004278721226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368659626763119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705614919281166,0.1410492094765107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511850430189293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509021948021221,0.0
mentalhealth,gasguts,2019/03/05,"Almost 5 years of wanting to kill myself may finally be over I've always been a down person, always looking on the dark side of things. I've been depressed for about 7 years now, it's been tough everyday is a challenge. I've lost many friends and don't really talk to my family anymore. Have no interest in the things I use to love doing. I made a friend in September who has done loads for me. She talked me out of killing myself when I was really close, she given me a way to distract myself and make more friends through world of Warcraft. I owe her everything
 But lately ive been really tough, crying all the time, drinking alone, cutting a little. I just want it to end. Last night I was listeing to music and I just broke down over the song one more light. My mum was alseep but it's like something else was controling me and walking me into her room even though I didn't want to. And I finally told her, told her everything even though I could see her become really upset. We spoke for about an hour before I went to bed. I then told my friend that I finally told my mum, she has been asking me to tell her for months as she was worried about mem
Today I went to the doctor's, he wants to do a blood test to make sure theirs nothing wrong with my body which I suppose is helpful. Then I am to go back on the 19th, the day after my birthday.
I hope something good come out of the visit, because I have happy periods in which I am perfectly fine, but 5 minutes later I am suicidal again. Hopefully this is the end of it all, I need it to end
Thank you for reading",4.245847797062751,4.775532445482868,5.185758789497111,85.10878504672901,70.33956386292834,8.481886960391634,27.12372051624388,8.563005593585519,1.7332636404094348,1229,38,258,19,21,403,174,321,0.102,0.725,0.173,0.9804,1,1,3,0,0,3,28.0,1,1,1,4,13,27,3,2,16,0,29,5,2,5,4,36,57,14,3,8,5,2,0,1,4,1,1,2,2,1,12,12,1,1,0,3,1,6,3,11,0,1,22,5,50,16,44,32,4,50,0,3,2,1,34,17,0,4,27,176,62,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725846700014704,0.09025111610794848,0.0,0.0,0.14501549355265825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864198058209761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146445844690912,0.0,0.0,0.06700554559200611,0.0,0.053119944822378695,0.09623966354736024,0.07415001445306811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679327766737723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506369032005293,0.0,0.0,0.09773530535628902,0.06957447391459869,0.0,0.0957195759578729,0.056198312862409464,0.0,0.07505385049663968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919183441465141,0.0,0.08917482627136687,0.0,0.08536436232790745,0.0,0.0,0.07279457570780665,0.0,0.23154144016239855,0.0,0.0,0.1151107505863826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663224447672253,0.0,0.08214816091892943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863739620055676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692976540857187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04952386557753962,0.07308918610170315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276251642934964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05840833566376581,0.0,0.0,0.17310004701291565,0.08581568563713587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928157591763548,0.0,0.0,0.07103101072971718,0.09829810346389448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04257237039143071,0.08733751715842097,0.0,0.0,0.07317594200355748,0.0,0.09512397910401617,0.0,0.07864756253870309,0.08245430034549606,0.11633371239274752,0.08834663147745693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955459111837599,0.0,0.0,0.0646134608364141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177530968345949,0.0,0.08361351014181362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05904855222353673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760875871170687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716392529553464,0.0,0.22329734258458897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943957197473824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416978802309482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531739275560024,0.0,0.08212874284415747,0.0,0.0,0.14008021518784722,0.07616450141805475,0.08022712097112332,0.0,0.0,0.11578434486966832,0.0,0.17122989085462434,0.0,0.05081223528104696,0.0,0.08259885694614258,0.33306533158246643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526127870324116,0.0,0.0,0.20559053019770315,0.06916794892353383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155994359872022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884952491040255,0.0,0.0,0.09527428651342948,0.0,0.11223104890182607
mentalhealth,ilikezelfs,2019/03/05,"Our love was worth a real long try Vent post:::

My SO is falling out of love with me. Last time we fought was because I told him something he said made me feel like my emotions were being belittled. He said I was just trying to find something to be upset about. But I just wanted to be honest with him. He's the only person I've ever loved. And he doesnt love me anymore",1.5321978021977998,3.25414635897436,3.1275091575091603,92.48653846153849,79.0,4.96996336996337,20.117216117216124,5.288315135182226,-0.1990937728937734,288,7,62,1,7,95,57,78,0.111,0.634,0.256,0.9406,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,0,0,5,8,1,1,2,0,9,4,0,1,1,14,20,3,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,9,3,12,6,8,8,0,7,0,0,0,4,17,1,0,0,5,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097966241438167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509662856701736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19393267968581074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595040176132074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717326495544439,0.12316633142410395,0.0,0.0,0.1575752576852963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053327382704586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422848730747849,0.0,0.0,0.15257320409622727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6224098082533526,0.16313399808941753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112194699899676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505375976677278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511655402269046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19623489710608316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32799371002883115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654519394537884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053087660103023,0.0,0.0,0.1647405864168285,0.0,0.2341036696488625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168907206762336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,neomattlac,2019/03/05,"Depression, weight gain, lonely I'm not really sure how to describe my issues. I've had depression since high school. I'm 28 (male) now. In Fall 2016, I weighed 325 lb. I got a trainer and got motivated. I was seeing a therapist twice a month. Had a good job. From there until spring 2018, my exercise, good eating, and therapy helped manage my depression and I pretty much overcame it. I got down to 229lb. At the time, I hadn't realized that from 250lb down, I was relying on my trainer to keep me moving. Well, he relocated in March 2018. Since then, I've (sometimes not so) slowly regained the weight. I'm back to 257 lb. My depression is back. I've still got a good job, but it's hard to go many days. I still got the gym three to four times a week, but maybe at a quarter the intensity I used to. I get winded going up stairs again. I just hate my body again. The constant binges, especially on sugar, especially on chocolate, has begun again. I've been hearing thoughts begin in my head saying ""Is any of it worth it?"" (Overarching, ""is my existence worth it?""; I guess the word is hopelessness). And other voices, that ones that really bug me, telling me I should just give up on seeking more, and settle back with my ex (who still hadn't gotten over me, but she doesn't excite me and our depressions make each other worse), get a house, and just stop trying to reach my dreams. She's okay, but, no offense to her, I can't see myself waking up happy every day with her. 
I thought about throwing money at the problem (hire a trainer+therapist again), but I've got other expenses and it'd put me close to what I can totally afford (i.e. nothing towards savings).
I still live with my parents and I hate that. I can't seem to stop eating. I feel like I am losing progress in life. And then there are times where I think about what if I stop existing.
I don't really expect answers. I guess I really just wanted to rant.
There's more, but I'm already late for work.",2.678158567774936,4.544273759590794,4.075051150895142,86.32925191815859,76.10997442455245,7.259846547314577,23.520460358056265,8.124751697461798,1.2842450127877236,1524,47,312,26,34,503,207,391,0.142,0.763,0.095,-0.9671,4,3,0,1,0,1,79.0,1,0,0,5,25,22,3,0,16,1,21,11,3,4,2,53,54,22,0,5,13,2,4,1,0,1,2,3,0,1,16,15,6,4,8,3,4,6,9,12,1,5,16,10,49,10,40,36,5,59,0,8,2,0,15,22,0,4,32,196,65,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704392631186822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363980146563548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18195713153422305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761576871757068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523918605813545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173967657115633,0.0,0.33968788767926084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142394223246687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645818713547381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03988312892053022,0.05635051844584486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242108586735476,0.07566704491761052,0.08965646493246485,0.19847758169472335,0.378516053027336,0.0,0.17378620302256256,0.0,0.0,0.08396718636869747,0.07065926937187794,0.15575155409039232,0.08095166975852969,0.0,0.08890133252530229,0.0,0.05287031653459045,0.08333902567785413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101471771482923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232822576034472,0.15654865310726304,0.07011046463586064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897791361156805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557139229128591,0.03853584719790404,0.0,0.0696507926373892,0.0,0.0,0.08824439894239347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265173307843588,0.0799699960270501,0.07924363657571631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295973352214257,0.08383491947189603,0.05798446702912136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756856482474347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344983060190831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758477687512659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024736786437232,0.0,0.07547567296776825,0.0,0.07929425995515474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021252797159216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272701774759731,0.0,0.07982883136511776,0.12571123996633274,0.07180764455177656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304975311625791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801244125747968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519685567489321,0.19783682861152785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434165999447055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894292146677121,0.0,0.09020396250783676,0.18316706839921687,0.0,0.05054189079946967,0.0,0.125240774691671,0.13798333401951096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355304084427134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812533832062018,0.0,0.0,0.04652433717097819,0.0,0.06327124054337932,0.1921045110773654,0.07092086973314962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05742418405111439,0.0,0.08038350559127297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Big_Bruh,2019/03/05,"Happiness Hero, Mental Health Awareness Box Dear Mothers and Fathers

I am a student from the University of Brighton, I was wondering if I could take a minute of your time. 

Please take a look and fill in this survey. This is going to be used for market research for the 'The Big Box of Happiness' a product that my group  and I are helping with. 

​

[https://brightonbusiness.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_3Dd4uAUXjjxu5YF](https://brightonbusiness.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3Dd4uAUXjjxu5YF)

Here you can read more about the 'The Big Box of Happiness'

​

**Introducing 'The Big Box of Happiness'**

**We'd like to ask you about a product we've developed - The Happiness Hero's Big Box of Happiness is an activity box, providing fun, practical, creative activities for 3-8 year old children and their families to do together to build scientifically proven habits for happiness for resilience and emotional wellbeing. The box includes:** 

**Happiness Hero Badge and Mission Details**  
**Fun Feel Good Facts booklet introducing the 6 Happiness Habits and the science behind them - the Happiness Hero's 'Superpowers for the Mind'**  
**6 things to make / do together all linked to one of the happiness habits / happiness superpowers for example:**

**- Calm down cuddly for mindfulness and calm**

**- Balloon for 'blowing out' anger**  
**- Set of 'You're a Star' kindness postcards for 'do good feel good'**  
**- A fun fold out game for active fun challenges**  
**- Kit to make a happiness tree to notice the good every day**  
**- 'up for a challenge' and 'awesome effort' stickers to encourage a growth mindset**  
**- Happiness Team paper chain activity to encouraging asking for help and talking about emotions**  
**A Happiness Hero self portrait to send in for a chance to win prizes.** 

**A % of all profits from sales will fund free boxes and workshops for disadvantaged children.**",4.0070705604933785,6.093425738255036,3.759735171413027,75.27978233266829,113.76510067114094,7.114166515508798,29.19481226192636,7.3813716822258035,3.409493415563216,1482,75,211,41,74,449,164,298,0.006999999999999999,0.643,0.349,0.999,2,0,0,0,0,0,113.0,1,3,2,11,4,42,1,0,28,0,13,1,0,3,3,28,25,12,0,2,1,2,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,4,14,0,0,4,3,4,4,0,1,0,1,1,3,11,42,49,20,3,19,0,0,1,0,22,10,0,2,5,121,15,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212725102670975,0.13600316634403994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046363361613362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04468217293508737,0.0,0.0,0.03609172434506088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590244930165134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715152733729063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275725601582743,0.0,0.05659349207824761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03180525560086672,0.1877575765554344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8936102354315572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594864130881419,0.0,0.0,0.07502209382660968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05827720637860063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02734086093732373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04699511058185397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471192756259944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639788365296838,0.0,0.11301403939081432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637146331182564,0.05872411091954478,0.0,0.037922207291961885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143094146427356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055978484128198384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838196840967463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415493339205914,0.04498121256001555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0371795561615937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03263267339732904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833435714457356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060689854618197675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13600316634403994,0.0360385559068195
mentalhealth,jedisIayer,2019/03/05,"What to do during a diagnostic assessment? I have an appointment for a diagnostic assessment at my local mental health facility 1 week from now. I have seen mental health professionals in the past, but they usually just scheduled me with a random psychiatrist right away. I've had issues with doctors not listening to me about certain symptoms and trying to only treat me for depression when I brought up other concerns. I'm wondering, during this diagnostic assessment should I bring up the whole cocktail of symptoms that I have and would like to be treated for/figure out whats going on? Should I mention that I have had an issue in the past with my doctors brushing me off? I'm apprehensive about mentioning everything because I've had such bad experiences before. I'm never anything but respectful and listen to my doctors the best I can although I do get frustrated when I'm told that I need to be entirely symptom-free of depression before anything else can be treated (which imo, will never be the case for me.) I've had doctors get angry with me because I didn't remind them to take my blood pressure, yell at me for bringing up the current medication not working for me, and even straight up fall asleep while I was talking to them.

TLDR; Is it necessary to bring up all of my concerns relating to my symptoms during this diagnostic assessment or should I wait until he puts me in with a psychiatrist? I'm worried about messing up at this appointment and ruining my chances for finally getting good care.",9.248156682027648,8.57322917921147,9.311175115207373,63.801048387096785,60.0752688172043,12.415873015873014,42.86763952892986,11.629938488055165,5.296770404505889,1227,64,195,31,14,405,145,279,0.122,0.7829999999999999,0.094,-0.8815,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,2,9,17,1,2,12,0,24,12,2,0,4,29,46,13,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,5,10,3,0,0,11,11,1,1,1,1,0,7,5,8,0,0,9,5,32,9,45,28,3,40,0,3,1,0,10,19,0,3,15,147,43,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760225052220384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048363395116687,0.0,0.08929930557918722,0.1303922181513288,0.0,0.18201421128764805,0.0,0.11223808390888187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904329133657302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842328353272718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378739913680368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893435246183366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063987995568985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612032664770803,0.10461823467822616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715918333986135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676318639571967,0.0,0.06078250556995271,0.08970511105144614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273670289112823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22325733429761732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522506736957302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774150415956744,0.21556215238695828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930253418998914,0.16497383250545705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134077063479568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20419294892207088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751491933169548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133525044008302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4446506053041924,0.08041356076230435,0.08596286215344442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219590664006473,0.0,0.07261245479300961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779100493194394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578934120685375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940655476914293,0.0,0.0,0.11598339194826955,0.07786132967803355,0.10861355245296694,0.0,0.07597465631703601,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,safir18,2019/03/05,"TENSION & RELIEF- A real story about taking a step to recover from social anxiety. Six months ago, I was feeling really down in the dumps- and could not even imagine how things would improve. Now, thankfully, my condition has improved drastically and looking back, I wanted to share a particular day from last summer where I took a proactive step to improve, and thankfully it paid off.

I'm sharing the post here, hoping that it would be helpful for anyone who needs some encouragement and positivity.

[https://www.millennialvefa.com/home/2018/9/9/tension-amp-relief](https://www.millennialvefa.com/home/2018/9/9/tension-amp-relief)",15.78292134831461,17.882161000000004,11.769977528089886,42.3814831460674,45.74157303370786,12.063820224719102,41.395505617977534,11.602472056035307,5.422058876404496,535,21,58,11,5,154,71,89,0.067,0.578,0.355,0.9833,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,0,7,9,1,1,6,0,6,0,0,1,0,16,17,5,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,2,0,1,3,2,4,7,10,10,1,15,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,2,7,44,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510500017259979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5538874911958733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035612308714045,0.0,0.0,0.11914818080558168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102767436503632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605114967212995,0.0,0.0,0.10989440012079688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254810188089004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615974957609912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421604462644168,0.0,0.3418517330449248,0.16924641380195452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889937111150288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309373075742535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601226935967345,0.0,0.0,0.1263500122455793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319683509313074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939533823976126,0.10916309699537033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737021265324116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812017283944985,0.0,0.0,0.3137642709711126,0.0,0.0,0.11320670029707128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893215259730955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050678942047736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24209563676775844,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PleasantOstrich,2019/03/05,"Is this anxiety or persecutory dilusion? Hi. Just some thoughts. For some time now I think I am afraid of unreal things. One trigger is the public bus here, because when I am walking on a street if I see a bus coming I start to think how it would be if it hit me and then I make such a detailed, graphic and brutal image in my mind of that happening that I become afraid to walk past it and generally come near it. Another thing is that I am afraid of the people inside the bus. If someone looks at me more than once or keeps looking at me and having eye contact I instantly assume they are up to no good. But I really believe it to the point I start to panick and fear for myself. For example one time there was a man staring at me and I started to feel uncomfortable and annoyed and I got off the bus at a different stop than my own and walked home because I didn't want him to know where I live. Another time this girl was staring at me from head to tow and typing at her phone at the same time and I started to believe that for some reason she has a beef with me and she was contacting people to wait for me on the bus stop and hit me as soon as I got off. Lastly, when I am in the bus I start to think that the person near me will do something really violent against me, like they will punch me suddenly or grab my bag with force or hit me or something like that. Generally for some reason my brain flashes really violent scenes for me to see? (if that made sense). Obviously I have stopped taking the bus and I try to go everywhere by bike which is a very nice thing to do and I enjoy it (and I will keep doing it whichever the outcome) but it is not a solution to the core of the problem. Apart from that, I have generally a fear that something bad will happen and that people near me want to hurt me or my friends like if I am walking with a group of friends at a dark street and another group of people is walking right behind us I start to think that they want to hurt us or steal something from us and I automatically start walking super fast to get away from the other group (I would even start running if I wasn't afraid it will look suspicious). I have noticed that generally I want to have a sure way out of somewhere. Like in class I want to sit near the exit so that if for some reason I want to storm out of there I can do that very quickly. Or I like to carry my bike because I know that anytime I want I can ride it and leave from where I am quickly. The thing is I hadn't realise how bad this is until I talked to a friend about all that and they told me it's not normal and I should talk to my therapist about it (I have an appointment in 2 weeks so I will but I wanted to share it until then) but it hadn't occur to me to talk to her about it earlier. Some context: my bag with all my belongings was stolen from me almost a year ago and from then I started to be more carefull with my things but I wouldn't say it was a more traumatic experience that the average stealing. But generally I have heard many stories from friends about stealings and that makes me upset and afraid. Another thing is that my mother has persecutory delusion but I don't know if this is a hereditary desease. Or how much she might have affected me. I want to understand if all this is because of anxiety or is it something else (like persecutory delusion). Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this. 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mentalhealth,Gingerfuckboi,2019/03/05,"I've been anxious for 2 days straight It's not the consuming anxiety, just a pit in my stomach and I don't know how to make it stop i don't know what's going on",-1.8886842105263173,-0.042786184210523714,1.3476842105263138,98.93678947368423,95.05263157894736,5.145263157894737,20.757894736842104,6.742157984588678,0.2809831578947368,127,5,33,2,5,45,31,38,0.129,0.7659999999999999,0.105,-0.1979,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,2,0,8,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3437348135408649,0.5076129261099196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28977949205696923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553635488469674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938780130244807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999300367682478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3756584624427194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bebopyu,2019/03/05,"My boyfriend’s mental health is rapidly worsening and I don’t know what to do. I originally posted this in r/relationships but was told this would be a better place to ask for help. Hope yall are prepared...

My boyfriend [20yr old male] and I [21yr old female] have been together for a year and a half. When we first started dating I wasn’t really aware of how deep his mental health problems were until about a few months in. He suffers from depression and severe anxiety, and it has caused a lot of problems in our relationship, but usually it was things we could work on and figure out. 

About a year in to our relationship I was going through a few things myself and wanted to take a break as I felt I couldn’t deal with our relationship and other issues (my parents were very ill and I was having a depressive episode). When I mentioned taking a break he freaked out and immediately talked about killing himself. He then left his house and went somewhere without telling me or anyone and kept texting me saying he wanted to end it. I talked him out of it, his friends were able to find him, and he stayed with his friends for a few days until he got better. We  didn’t see each other for about 2 weeks, but still occasionally texted to check up on each other. 

I feel like a lot of his issues are as a result from his family. His dad is extremely abusive and has physically assaulted him before for not going to work because he was too sick one time. His mother seems to be trying to keep the household together but it was discovered a few months ago that she was having an affair. His siblings are 30+ something year olds who are doing nothing with their lives and still living at home, not working. I feel as though his parents take out a lot of their aggressions out on him (my bf is the only one who has a job & is also going to school). They brush off his mental issues as him being “dramatic”. 

Towards the end of 2018, things were finally looking up. My bf got a much needed new car, he found a place of his own, his job was going good and he was almost done with community college. But then this month a lot changed. 

His job basicially canceled his shift, and told all the workers on his shift they needed to start a new schedule from 12am to 5am Tuesday to Thursday, or quit. He had just moved into his new place so of course he wasn’t going to quit but I can tell the toll this is having on him. 

Now, for the part that has brought me to this. One of his roommates (he lives with 3 other guys) is this old white dude. He’s a little strange, and whenever he messages the group chat they’re in the guy never responds even if its a question being directly addressed to him. He’s kind of a loner and a bit dirty. For the first week there, every-time the toilet would be used it would be covered in splattered shit. My bf annoyed messaged the group chat saying this isn’t right but never got a reply. 

In addition, the guy is starting to sleep in the living room and taking over the couch. He told one of the other roommates this is because his heater broke and his room was too cold, but then when the landlord texted him he said it was because his bed broke. 

This has caused intense paranoia in my bf. My bf refuses to go the kitchen or even leave the room if the old guy is there. He tells me he thinks the old man is “watching” and listening to him, that his room is bugged. Recently he had to go to the ER because of gastritis and then again a week later for a kidney stone. His diet has been absolute shit and sometimes he skips meals, so it makes sense to me that hes having these health issues. He says this guy is poisoning his food and poisoning his belongings (even though he locks his room and keeps all his food in his room) and making him sick. He had an asthma attack today, and afterwards ran into the hallway to yell out “LEAVE ME ALONE. I dont want to die, im sorry!”. He keeps telling me one day hes not going to wake up and that one day he’s going to die alone.

My bf has always had anxiety about things, and hes a big germaphobe and is paranoid about small things (like locked doors and what not) but it has never been this bad. Hell stay up crying all night because he’s scared and when I try to calm him down he gets extremely mad and aggressive with me. In the past month, it has caused a lot of arguments. 

I don’t believe he is being watched or anything. I do think the guy is weird, but I think hes just a bad roommate and maybe just an older guy whos kinda awkward and lonely. I’ve asked him to look into therapy so he can talk to someone, but he says it’s too hard and they don’t help (he’s had about 3 different therapists he stopped going to before). 

Im at my wits end. I love him but this has caused great concern for me. I can’t go over to his place because he acts inconsolable and i’ll stay up at 5am with him trying to calm down. When he gets nervous or freaks out he just sobs and cries and screams and balls up. His asthma attack happened about 30 minutes ago and I had to leave as I felt extremely uncomfortable being there and his response was “yeah thats what he wants. To isolate me so ill die alone”. I am sorry but this has become too much for me....am i wrong to feel this way? We actually plan to move in with each other at a new place in September but the way he is acting right now I am concerned. I have been there with him through everything but I feel like this is my breaking point. The obvious answer would be of course to move out, but he really struggled to find this place that fits his budget and is close to work/school. 

Update (3 days later): my bf spoke with his landlord and the old guy was told to stay in his room since hes not renting out the living room. And he did, for about 3 days (the weekend) until tonight/this morning. While the guy was gone my bf was getting better and he really calmed down- talk about getting killed and being spied one was non-existent. It is currently 4am and my bf just called me in a frenzy because apparently the old guy is back to the living room. This is right after his friends came over, too. Now im even starting to feel weird, but I know he’s not possibly being watched or in danger...right? Anyways I tried calling his mom because I do have work very early but no one picked up. My bf told me he was having a lot of chest pain and i told him I would call 911 so they can check on him if he felt very ill, but as soon as i said that he said no and he stopped complaining of any physical pain. Sigh. 

Tl;dr : long term boyfriend suffers from depression, anxiety. Severe family abuse and trauma, suicide attempts as well. Recently, extreme paranoia about one of his roommates trying to “kill” him. He becomes inconsolable and it has been extremely hard on our relationship. Don’t know what to do. ",4.034459611638662,5.012451733382036,4.710788212198687,86.68792324841732,71.11102994886778,7.63258156805454,26.532147857316776,7.8658589789855275,1.3825045592890182,5329,168,1110,66,96,1710,468,1369,0.191,0.752,0.057,-0.9996,9,5,1,0,1,2,143.0,8,1,6,14,53,61,15,4,68,1,122,26,6,11,7,195,202,111,7,19,40,5,10,3,13,5,14,11,18,12,57,85,5,7,21,4,4,22,23,42,3,12,60,30,138,18,167,124,22,200,1,9,7,1,205,80,4,20,91,718,195,10,0.03138717627417653,0.07437734283170633,0.03062935638898646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564567594641796,0.0,0.031429723170368504,0.09752294622886833,0.0,0.025100313526584518,0.026116645034382324,0.03400799237964654,0.0,0.021344356178576145,0.0,0.07203331181779703,0.0,0.0,0.02194664343910259,0.0,0.02582897171290823,0.0,0.05868554571801101,0.07141488842352707,0.0,0.024134801140074,0.05241396229141715,0.15306665065200367,0.06932934045925514,0.053416350469114415,0.03536259940417937,0.0,0.08327822028805214,0.03426666728401731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614944881786024,0.03589856801849105,0.0,0.1289731041167983,0.033203470707025284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025060106257151837,0.0,0.06895467861785691,0.10121066050268293,0.03235880053239072,0.08110118679860495,0.0,0.09772480072961127,0.032792918786580944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03211997872332599,0.0367855368338437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339916591429881,0.0,0.0,0.08292373563833623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02820877017842048,0.0,0.059178072808280836,0.0,0.07935149701674822,0.04484601000345215,0.0904098341692137,0.03438311741530462,0.05737462097591056,0.05339583220933625,0.07590699627728499,0.03441441872632711,0.07274896359051494,0.0,0.06559401658132094,0.0,0.19621861153813167,0.026326074304287333,0.07530957641873666,0.0346044726487458,0.0,0.31078239196259005,0.027755576321512824,0.0,0.056233489743899884,0.0,0.0,0.10008930194675293,0.0,0.0,0.04207632528660005,0.0,0.03148389695692602,0.03117454812943565,0.0,0.03621658729744637,0.0,0.0,0.10171060932780322,0.13104022954334082,0.09344078799411147,0.0836950932783741,0.10417578045097434,0.032684914100739065,0.051748713704143065,0.0,0.0,0.09970346317160464,0.034102258859531116,0.0,0.0,0.0460025667001509,0.03145819633379366,0.1662927101389455,0.027776663305809475,0.05271464601593052,0.0,0.0,0.16010552911355774,0.028328152024622636,0.0,0.041902367776861835,0.0,0.03153263729063832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489267402517228,0.0,0.0,0.03676028150564882,0.10021177860367617,0.10007880338017942,0.04614637203261725,0.046546387003670836,0.07262317590205525,0.12125572172589875,0.0,0.029454738707682726,0.0,0.030116842151897687,0.0,0.26348449286716585,0.0,0.19141886654899767,0.02387136191684256,0.06679633703238465,0.0,0.06970348966117948,0.03398925324693381,0.02996261128672515,0.0,0.0,0.1967575127194857,0.0,0.029671026811037168,0.03538432523923928,0.030060238653775394,0.0,0.0,0.06006657752728097,0.0,0.0,0.035160820719819644,0.06676825098296232,0.0,0.0,0.06032228650745789,0.0,0.061982099987179275,0.16849040497827086,0.0,0.1072179081661169,0.08956917668335931,0.0998413694489406,0.03142403898762276,0.06353099614166806,0.025011515779107426,0.028573706460111217,0.0,0.07091715037057808,0.06443697079919877,0.025963796560128902,0.0,0.03140984371750927,0.0,0.02659425260187294,0.024163381734552986,0.031042719903179788,0.07027074826594149,0.08886401966308739,0.13381821484633274,0.050131679034051656,0.05248216957986145,0.0,0.03281269152836528,0.0,0.03433247649909728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439700150358918,0.10091129345630766,0.10973510203769987,0.0,0.03589397148905698,0.036442930820718936,0.10426122621172164,0.06033490559358471,0.06167548265596035,0.0,0.01830211489445771,0.0,0.029751373101727263,0.17995075198719013,0.0,0.10654916190902253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027108442726673555,0.03456854031914206,0.07769312267164072,0.07405187912082169,0.04982735914728351,0.0755306986855711,0.0,0.028220840918819243,0.02909622686082469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030256117874308867,0.0,0.11425119073532874,0.0,0.0,0.11148274741546843,0.03431695001433403,0.0,0.06063693735471894
mentalhealth,beepbeepmof0,2019/03/05,"I need help and can't tell if anything is wrong I don't want to talk to my mom yet because many kids in my area fake illnesses for attention but I can't help but feel I'm having issues (I'm 17/F). I can't seem to get my work done, school or hobbies. I get easily distracted or move on to something else entirely. I'm apparently very monotone and not focused on what's addressing me. I no longer find joy in stuff I liked before (drawing, videogames, animation, MTG) but find it to be a chore and something I'm required to do instead. I don't show any emotion when being scolded, nor do I feel any. I don't care about how I present myself anymore and I've grown to just hate myself, sometimes it even drives me to wanting to kill myself (I've tried several times, and was hospitalized once). 

I also argue with myself constantly and insult myself but it's not always in my voice. I also think other people can hear my thoughts and ideas and it makes me paranoid and I just shut down. I try to stay away from people to keep this from happening. I lock myself away for hours. I go into my basement and just pace around for 2-3 hours at a time. I'm always paranoid because I feel like my biological father, who isn't allowed to contact me, has paid people to watch me. I feel like I'm being rediculous but I can't shake this feeling. 

I come from an abusive background (only my father) and I can't tell if that is the issue. This has been ongoing since I was 12.  I don't want to tell my mom though because she'll think I'm being an idiot. Is something wrong?",2.452800925925928,4.119701187500001,4.077222222222225,86.9403703703704,76.1875,6.4907407407407405,25.28935185185185,7.2427474758485975,1.1311296296296298,1220,43,251,14,27,408,166,320,0.18,0.737,0.084,-0.9858,2,0,3,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,0,2,13,15,5,2,5,0,28,1,0,3,0,51,59,26,1,6,14,4,5,3,0,1,1,2,2,1,12,15,0,2,13,1,1,6,14,10,0,0,6,8,45,5,33,48,0,28,0,0,1,0,17,13,0,5,11,157,57,4,0.0,0.11451386591782695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15458115755398658,0.16084027064305528,0.0,0.0,0.13144996303868284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585034410215464,0.0,0.0,0.0795343122224702,0.08603855539662236,0.0,0.0,0.1816107935934526,0.0,0.0,0.17674993393736452,0.0,0.08224161502086147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854061749648294,0.0,0.0,0.08325499552335584,0.0,0.10444378568373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989060054250401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073826438371885,0.10871769085312187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383609028478056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443444829782523,0.13809285949095876,0.0,0.0,0.176671803626756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099076054385554,0.0,0.05492814421163447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546684310961462,0.0,0.0,0.09542138239230773,0.0,0.0,0.10893102281546813,0.0,0.1295642594569965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036059892847595,0.0,0.0,0.10910553334548707,0.0,0.20175395764972825,0.0,0.08590652587438301,0.10692836375759307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165420689730002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451429887857618,0.09798743409494097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263894776109129,0.0,0.1027231343593968,0.0,0.07166438753207825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292857458166604,0.0,0.07350630807036365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20101380420388806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781446468522696,0.0,0.08798608462666574,0.0,0.10918643688557328,0.0,0.07994947398784691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22321654558159126,0.0955888373899263,0.0,0.0,0.10301551876456268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106405665424946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768321567091534,0.2534277970172533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238582078226326,0.09495765353251023,0.07672891562948443,0.11271421383142798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123734703042195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974596827144577,0.1710191565150263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703619948694387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21134213528128332,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MentalHealthAware89,2019/03/05,"Ideas for creative mental health initiatives in the workplace Hey all, 

​

I need some help from you all for ideas on Mental Health initiatives in the workplace that I can implement.  Some out of the box ideas would be good to get the topic going!

​

One of the ideas I'm thinking of doing is: 

​

Creating a blog site where colleagues can anonymously share their stories of mental health and the affects on them or people they know - I think it would be powerful for people to realise just how common mental health is among their colleagues and to know that they're not alone. This would be followed with an optional group meeting weekly where people can join to discuss the various forms of mental health - I think having read so many of each others stories, people may feel more comfortable coming into this session.. but again all optional. I'd also perhaps introduce a professional into this space. 

​

But yea... I'm looking for different ways to open up the conversation and also create a safe place for those suffering in the workplace. 

​

Thank you all!",7.206950407105848,9.197772792746116,6.233060695780902,74.92851036269431,64.59585492227978,8.623094004441155,32.95669874167284,9.04235418022936,3.1499714285714298,891,37,134,15,14,269,111,193,0.021,0.847,0.133,0.946,3,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,4,1,8,6,0,0,13,1,14,5,0,2,4,41,29,10,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,8,10,0,1,10,2,0,3,1,1,0,1,0,2,10,5,28,22,10,23,0,1,1,0,13,16,0,6,3,99,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168206724380165,0.0,0.11069655491112704,0.0,0.37495224829398666,0.4204967216682927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059619434408479874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231111139926948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03499532919176991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03616006454782522,0.0,0.03933439513652218,0.058051181845446435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678420489724967,0.0,0.0,0.04639089714570145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125246790539391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607347642708041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05812008783418879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016942783018602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34874372152648425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051319325945961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04689938998731023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192969326100007,0.0,0.07231111139926948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923006189524501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372049596982424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304348136974709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05493673407786173,0.05551715602853414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474972341423054,0.0,0.4204967216682927,0.0
mentalhealth,XochiquetzalRose,2019/03/05,"Camp fire survivor: california...PTSD scared and lost Oh man am I struggling.  I only read the community info so I'm not sure if I'm posting correctly, please be gentle if I'm not. 
Im 29, full time single mom of a five and a half year old.  I've worked my butt off with lots of struggles but I always provided. I deeply Love(d) my community.  I worked at a grocery store and I Loved it. My town burnt to the ground in mere hours.  We all fled for our lives.  My son and I literally left with the clothes on our backs and our car. It's been 3 months.  Christmas came and I had to fake smile for my son.  That's when I truly realized something was wrong.  I've always been the strong one, but something broke inside me and I realized I had to do something about it, if not for me, for my son. 

I went and talked to someone.  They diagnosed me with ptsd. That was disappointing to me.  I was supposed to go back and I didn't.  I thought I could hang.  But it's not getting better. 

I mustered up every ounce of strength I could to get a job at a sister store. Panic attacks last night and then this morning before I went, but I got there.  I kicked ass. But I came home and had a breakdown.  My anxiety is through the roof. I can't handle letting people down, but I'm supposed to work tomorrow and it's driving me nuts.  I can't sleep and don't know what to do.  I absolutely need the money but the mental strain feels like it's killing me. 

Please I need some advice.  Im thinking of telling my new bosses the whole truth and just asking for a day or two of work a week, but they've been so generous and I just really don't want to disappoint anyone.  I don't know what to do. ",0.34943083573487144,2.562646533141212,2.2797053314121065,94.16935626801157,86.55043227665706,5.3143804034582125,20.49056195965418,6.742157984588678,0.2673043804034592,1285,41,290,16,40,426,182,347,0.163,0.713,0.124,-0.8757,1,0,3,0,1,0,44.0,4,0,1,8,9,20,2,5,16,0,24,5,3,1,4,59,48,31,1,8,18,5,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,11,21,0,0,8,1,3,9,10,13,0,4,18,2,47,7,33,26,6,36,0,4,0,3,15,11,2,6,16,181,58,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810652855459767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707625407596466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680322830746063,0.0,0.0,0.07019973221137031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385739567678872,0.11421578104067215,0.0,0.1543977858581502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543022783974907,0.0,0.0,0.08879275441341045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296542401722987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031724881501785,0.0,0.0,0.06474758916040221,0.0,0.0,0.1019005737920956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458858022775963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050763606349225436,0.07172344831970134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490630176441236,0.0,0.05705777876108365,0.0,0.0802964412639618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070611214326804,0.0,0.09887056166179146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21689140627751047,0.0,0.09962826909435092,0.0,0.1110741134646441,0.0,0.11035084110223456,0.08183673968355261,0.0,0.0,0.10908134751378663,0.10266246473440807,0.0,0.049048774016356586,0.0,0.08865215731697286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959489715302924,0.08535371479863901,0.1812239481348964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117629640985228,0.0,0.0,0.1175834439043794,0.08013571690271709,0.0,0.0,0.1488858153699567,0.0,0.09696379332304167,0.0,0.09421553575482706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534948597292246,0.0,0.06803142665949051,0.07635624184322075,0.0,0.11779393811112653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960245567371555,0.0,0.0,0.22041093529574304,0.0,0.0,0.09615232094877482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23471682379387024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042390486811673,0.0,0.06431671994172693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005146471738086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046924140761933,0.0,0.08506582868552573,0.2318709371380889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099129340499944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462273561402146,0.0,0.0,0.08069509350475725,0.08775117250400047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433017464106495,0.0,0.07970379402764648,0.058542144180622785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807302293922217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059216596132968986,0.0,0.0805322058500259,0.0,0.0,0.18613756036624196,0.0,0.11208937046532276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923600783584145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097680703658316,0.0,0.06465220640277501
mentalhealth,BetterPea7,2019/03/05,"My father-in-law opened up to me and I don't know what to do. Throwaway account for obvious reasons, TL;DR at the end.

So this happened Sunday. I was at my SO's house and he decided to go shopping with his mom (the store was exceptionally open, last sales). Anyways, I decided not to go with them because I did not shower etc and go upstairs playing some games.  
His father was cooking downstairs and everything was going well... until my SO messaged me to go see his dad to tell him that they would be a little late due to some technical problems at the store because he wasn't answering his phone.  
So I went downstairs and the F-I-L started talking nonsense -> I just told him they would be late for technical difficulties and it seemed like he didn't understand, asking me why and stuff.

All of a sudden he started to hug me and cried and told me he loved me like his own child (I started crying too).  
I was wondering what was happening and he asked about 5 times: ""Can you hold a secret?"", ""It's between you and me, nobody else know"". At this I said ""yeah, sure, what's happening?!"" and he replied: I'm going to die, sooner or later...

He confessed to me: He and a neighbour decided to go to Switzerland in a few months or so and go see doctors to be euthanized as it is legal there (I know it's under conditions)

(As he said that, I remembered the conversation we had all together while dining, the evening before, when he said he'd go to Switzerland but for his work, said he needed to go there to sign some papers at the bank. I have family there and told him he could stay there, even for a night. He said ""no, it's okay"".)

The F-I-L already tried to kill himself on October 2018, we were all in the house with him when it happened. And he said he tried to do it again (not saying when). He told me that he tried to make the doctors here,where he lives, sign his will but they kicked him.

I really tried to reason him, telling him to have a break from work and have a sabbatical year, to enjoy some concerts (he wanted for so long to go to Tomorrowland). Or to go grab a bag and travel somewhere to find some peace.

So now I don't know what to do. I need to tell that to my SO... but if I do, he will tell his mom and it will be a big mess, obviously. I'm more afraid of the mom because she is a sort of boss for the family and I don't really know how she will react.  My SO will definitely broke down and cry and now is not a really good time because he have a lot of important things to do at his work. Really, I don't know if it's my role to tell them and I'm so scared to talk about this again to the F-I-L, knowing he'd surely close himself off/avoid the conversation.

​

TL;DR: My F-I-L told me he was going to kill himself by euthanization and I don't know if I can/how to tell the family.",2.5466800076234044,3.760653403087481,4.278447112635792,87.4634987611969,75.00343053173242,7.514983800266818,24.619363445778536,8.094773233980128,1.2401568820278253,2166,68,480,34,45,732,230,583,0.081,0.863,0.056,-0.9582,1,1,0,0,0,0,104.0,2,2,5,3,30,18,2,2,28,2,44,6,0,6,7,96,99,51,3,10,15,5,1,2,1,7,2,8,1,1,22,32,2,1,21,6,6,15,12,7,1,0,24,11,69,11,69,61,13,60,1,1,2,2,93,17,0,15,28,310,91,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630303887210879,0.0,0.0,0.0618865980405373,0.0694038019765267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067939776654899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927276530415342,0.0,0.048602636894452704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04560353652977467,0.0,0.18822209927886208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05927876594252831,0.0,0.0,0.11692400531490617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04771419610783207,0.0,0.05058899684753003,0.0,0.06370091593221003,0.0754509092771508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133336898459834,0.0,0.1615353927901194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220420050713477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42199419868458615,0.04790730250309711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20203464832824952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181144922971122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638371549756114,0.0,0.2511215056642465,0.04655824342323607,0.12886166146583472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055809280015190664,0.05724656515610602,0.05043564463001421,0.05054703546519202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485591073891617,0.0515506160436653,0.0,0.03812625812491968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006853630170742,0.04559050408018736,0.0,0.0,0.08470354587762956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360074050952731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05465356639703302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636328450082903,0.11745224645968826,0.0,0.0,0.0647027951464542,0.0,0.3259899362681836,0.04542198955708827,0.05718440676907125,0.0,0.09103022643186474,0.051997467727131576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212838103708664,0.06087946901015606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653856722061861,0.0,0.0,0.10766480617691378,0.0,0.0,0.09181748493361258,0.2995383588774667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037946212912233164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661114335246199,0.0,0.0,0.2728902599081574,0.0,0.1551156582489999,0.0,0.0,0.059461149931618024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033689278288884836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051355334911042064,0.05294833273691935,0.05153950200277111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06194130276717885,0.12474627912916872,0.0,0.0,0.08114901815709655,0.0,0.0694038019765267,0.03678168479327462
mentalhealth,EmmaDay2437,2019/03/05,"I have to make the toughest decision on behalf of my mum I dont know what to do. My [24f] mum [50f] has been struggling schizophrenia for the last 13 years. She was the best woman I could ever have known, dazzling and beautiful, with a naive outlook. So kind hearted, always wanting to help people. She dedicated half her time to charity. She gave so much of herself but had previously been in a physically and mentally abusive marraige with my dad and was hurt so much by the people closest to her which unfortunately led to a breakdown that has destroyed her life. After losing her home and two businesses all in a space of a month, something changed. 

She started believing no one could be trusted and everyone was out to hurt her. She believed it was a whole conspiracy all the way up to the government and she was a main target because of her qualities. She believed she was fighting spiritually for the human race and there were some people who 'didnt like that'. She started taping letter boxes down, carrying around a suitcase with all the food and pans every time she left the house which then led to having to take all our clothes and EVERYTHING we owned around, to the shop, even if we were just getting milk. She thought people where coming in and 'tampering' with our things. She thought we were being drugged as part of an experiment. Neighbours who had known her for years didnt recognise her. A few arguments happened with neighbours that caused her to be sectioned. My brother amd i were put in care but that's another story.

Her hospital experiences were the most truamatic experiences of our lives. She refused to take medication so it was forced onto her by injection. To be held down by several nurses, being forced an injection, is truly something i could only imagine in my nightmares. I can't imagine what she was feeling, especially when she truly believed they were injecting her with poison. The side effects she experienced were worse. When i went to visit her, she was in bed, with a swollen face and she just couldnt move or talk. Her lips were so swollen and stiff, she couldnt form words. She didnt recognise who were were. My brother and I tried telling the doctors that this wasnt the right treatment, it was inhumane, but I was only 11, my brother was 10. Our voices weren't listened to and we had no other family to ask for help and the treatment continued. After a few weeks of being sedated (zombified), she was able to start walking around so they would release her. She was not my mum. My chatterboxy, passionate mum had become emotionless, no laughter, no talking.  She walked extremely slowly, with her hands stiff slightly in front of her. (She couldnt move her arms due to stiffness). She complained of weakness and achy bones, and feeling suicidal. She once said  ""i dont know, but every time i have a knife in my hand, i just want to hurt myself with it' and 'every time im walking on a bridge, i just want to throw myself off it'. Nurses were coming round daily to give her the medication. My mum started to stop taking it by hiding the pill under her tongue and spitting it out untill she just  out right started refusing to take them. The physical side affects of the drug only started to ceed a year after she stopped taking it (puts to light how strong those were).

Anyway, as time progressed the paranoia started kicking in again. She was sectioned again and treated the same way as last time with the same drugs and stuff. Shed come out again, act a bit normal but then she start getting paranoid. It'll start with tissue paper in the cracks on the walls, then taping the windows, then the letter box, then huge furniture against the doors so no one can come in. Will start calling people 'sick' saying her past hospitalisation was all part of the big 'plan'. The 'conspiracy' was the only thing she could talk about. If i was talking about acheivements in school, she'll respond with 'none of that matters, we're still slaves, youll understand when youre older what games are at play'. She hated all my friends because she thought they were all in on it. If i went to a sleepover i had to promise i wouldnt sleep because she told me my friends will inject me. The lowest point was one evening when she was scared because of helicopters in the sky, she brought our mattresses to the living room, brought ALL the furrniture down to baracade us in the living room, with all the lights off because she thought they were coming to get us. Shed then be sectioned. This cycle happened throughtout our teenage years, she mustve been in and out of hospital 9 times. Every time she wouldnt eat the food there as she believed it was poisoned so my brother and myself would do daily shops and drop it off to make sure she would eat. We couldnt just drop off a weeks worth or two days worth because they would have to put it in the kitchen (no food allowed in the bedrooms) and she believed the food will be 'tampered with' if left in the kitchen. Once she was taken as far as London, about a two hour drive away from where me and my brother lived, she lost so much weight because we werent able to drop off food daily. Finally I turned 18 and as her nearest relative, had the power to request her discharge every timemshes been discharged. Which i have always done instantly as i didnt wanted her going through another traumatic time again. 

A lot has happened in th last few years since her last sectioning, down to her becoming homeless. Shes moved countless times, due to not getting on with neighbours.  She was homeless for four months and spent a lot of that time sharing a room with me. We had to keepmit abit of a secret because my landlord wasnt happy with it and he lived there. I became and anxious wreck during this time which affected my ability to support her. It led to a complete breakdown and having to be signed off work for two weeks, which didnt help because ghe situation was in my bedroom. It was difficult having to listen to her rants every night. She has very strong views that are not in line with my values. She would be rocking back and forth mumbling out loud all night. She said she was 'working hard'. Anyway we managed to sort out supported housing for her after a few months of trying to get help from the council. Shes been moved 3 times this year due to antisocial behaviour. She csnt leave the house unless i come over and house sit. She baracades herself in. She wont let me help with housework cause im her daughter, weve fought so much about that but shes not able to keep up with the cleaning and i can only just manage to go there once a week. She's in a state where she has become abusive (never physically) to almost everyone. Shouting about how their attacking her spiratually, 'theyre all sick', blah blah. They are proper rants and you just cant stop her. 

She is now back into hospital after being verbally abusive to the hostel staff and they raised concerns about the things she was saying. Doctors have told me they need to medicate. My mum is already saying she cant wait to leave in 72 hrs, because she knows its something that usually happens cause i always get her out. The thing is, its really dawned on me that she is not well this time round. Ive spent my whole teenage and adult years defending her, saying shes just traumatised, shes not unwell (because that's all shed ever tell me and if i said otherwise she would start saying im on 'their side'.) I was worried if she loses the trust she has with me and my brother, she would have NO ONE cause she trusts no one else. I think i spent it all in denial. I never really said out loud she was 'unwell' just 'traumatised'. But this time round i can really see it and i have to admit she needs help. The thing different this time round is that if i discharge her she has no where to go to, shes homeless, she cant go back to her last supported housing hostel because she was verbally abusive to staff and other residents. The doctors have said she needs treatment and that they wont give her the same as the last times. I just dont know what to do. 

Either shes on the streets or they start the medication, which will be forced on her, with the risk of the side affects being as bad as last time and deepening the paranoia. I pove her and i cant see her suffer like this any more. I just want to think of a long term solution because it been going on for too long now and she deserves a life. 

I dont know what to do

Ps. Sorry for errors, typed this really quickly",5.225760996876627,6.412158006127451,5.2625418618774935,83.05639966163456,68.50980392156862,7.982873503383653,30.19002689571404,8.227418567173826,2.0966511734339743,6734,257,1274,90,113,2105,544,1632,0.138,0.7859999999999999,0.076,-0.9988,5,0,6,0,2,2,160.0,17,3,13,12,64,44,7,3,88,0,159,44,9,16,18,235,256,97,1,33,37,14,10,4,5,18,23,16,14,3,67,94,11,11,22,5,7,33,43,21,1,11,90,32,226,23,208,126,45,235,0,7,7,1,225,95,0,16,102,930,293,13,0.0890694328100079,0.14071028418456427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02973005696877003,0.0,0.032763444652532586,0.0,0.07411290330142234,0.0,0.0,0.020190089543933684,0.0622647109388032,0.0,0.03354103548974078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929067901726101,0.027755965395914257,0.0337764461007329,0.02789455470381247,0.06848889590292148,0.024789751987887552,0.23528223128970985,0.098370190708718,0.0,0.20070149949800892,0.03115762486226288,0.0,0.03241358394922759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03031661648620356,0.0,0.030270740972107076,0.12199845706711533,0.03140788324255465,0.15345085923850976,0.031129201894806342,0.0,0.0,0.09481959260410742,0.0,0.0,0.019147471877375286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031019533274682345,0.0,0.09116633867606984,0.0,0.030382984670398117,0.13918494919841054,0.0,0.10329226438622108,0.060760177315277324,0.024802027324258263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039219680224788576,0.053712267531943775,0.15008967735113762,0.056739773357766664,0.026683287659817752,0.08712699637235348,0.027988911425585145,0.0,0.030024120977167994,0.0,0.0,0.03252373665462769,0.0,0.0,0.17950518617512834,0.0,0.04587654856182066,0.0,0.09307020487592096,0.05696234403067844,0.08436701878635347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501840703676116,0.031605355821875535,0.026596238926072716,0.02931254159941732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0351825689108193,0.119402726618968,0.0,0.029781301128695925,0.0,0.029238483215638093,0.17129027795297785,0.09535067000093976,0.0,0.09621027182621693,0.0,0.0,0.02638966812492195,0.0,0.030917369299340663,0.0815837181757942,0.16940810991765118,0.0,0.06287444582331048,0.06451613290781112,0.03035984322897837,0.041941582993184456,0.029009883866758308,0.0,0.13108323499815408,0.052549096790175616,0.0,0.06643060815722665,0.032409935850164835,0.050482431081339714,0.0,0.0,0.03963635869077397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963744396866302,0.029920346306104805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109437149699202,0.12622228157428528,0.08730170876752785,0.06604385583393572,0.04579722502629125,0.0,0.0,0.05572375264222704,0.029089710974196086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485603903083993,0.10059292134516763,0.11290219545728435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430234398691627,0.028342284011183237,0.1029158830382967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028066467930130845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953938111647497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760802125483548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05070987263508938,0.1412090454953292,0.1180526465929662,0.0297246801770008,0.0300476737312662,0.047317870727490455,0.0,0.0,0.03354103548974078,0.0,0.024559718412853503,0.033372591447130784,0.0297112525630548,0.0,0.0,0.06857000091591718,0.0,0.033235312602978365,0.25217521192311343,0.0,0.023710321365916363,0.07446603409435804,0.0,0.03103823674007689,0.033987730297453916,0.0324758343134065,0.1010749368322643,0.02798229544333104,0.0,0.11161521440907236,0.0954541816033794,0.05190040678007599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862295566862167,0.03804806405239074,0.0,0.0942815739986074,0.31162261529352203,0.0,0.0,0.056739773357766664,0.0,0.04031486547124813,0.032293988655266094,0.11601052474746833,0.030908140252492545,0.07142637389362258,0.0,0.03269913220184648,0.024497203391291543,0.08755909863462089,0.047132779949163484,0.09526150188643036,0.03615419123922794,0.026694705635018016,0.0550455043755597,0.0,0.06629522725303384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04322907193167377,0.030151444183906414,0.0302564538159755,0.14763552892983442,0.0,0.0,0.13383485377168827
mentalhealth,BrotherLockfield,2019/03/05,"How do you know you're ready to work again after a burn-out? I left my job last year on the 12th of March because of a burn-out. This wasn't really a heavy workload burnout more of an I hate my job burnout. I was a market research consultant and felt I was forced to sell bullshit to my clients. 

The thing is i've spent 3 months solo-travelling in south America right after and I felt fine during that time. It wasn't like solo-travelling was stress free but I could handle myself pretty well. 

I signed up for therapy right after I left my job and was put in group therapy when I came back from my travels. It's a group therapy of once a week and I feel that the downtime is making me feel worse. I've been applying for volunteering gigs and am trying to start with that as soon as possible. 

But really I just want to go back to do 'real' work. How do I know I'm ready to start again? ",2.020114864864865,3.6976831027027046,3.5258614864864875,90.37798141891894,77.43243243243244,7.219594594594596,21.83277027027027,8.07648339933343,0.9233851351351352,694,19,154,12,16,229,105,185,0.083,0.815,0.102,0.5008,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,4,10,6,1,1,10,0,14,0,0,3,0,23,29,12,0,2,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,6,1,3,4,2,2,1,0,11,4,20,5,24,17,1,30,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,18,93,27,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19941255906309333,0.0,0.07904408538675185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830504037966716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352892261527794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112753648774142,0.0,0.2490022090440632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369301064755451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801978019769442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3860248639844524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252369939539375,0.1056962934732136,0.0,0.0,0.2817681682787753,0.0,0.0,0.06334897544771184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655404223854006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349933641281464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809162227217034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461805880588224,0.0,0.1319184319596357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035162043399398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758996719692685,0.16613660154307233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214706195496288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18355860347473088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853364728987448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4448581532552428,0.0,0.08614530448901696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561014375441791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803569964795202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648123260478534,0.0,0.10401142196626756,0.0,0.11658662679407827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887989230846228,0.0,0.13214222840232567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350159852484776
mentalhealth,sellardoore,2019/03/05,"This might be a weird one. Anyone heard of maladaptive daydreaming? I find myself spending hours of my free time daydreaming and fantasizing about anything and everything. Being rich and famous, being successful and married in a beautiful house, perfecting past conversations and pretending me and my ex are still together, so much so that sometimes I forget where I am, and forget what my life really is. 

I went on this journey to figure out what was going on with me after someone pointed out I was obsessive and probably had a form of psychosis after I drunk called my ex so many times that be blocked me. I found being called obsessive to be very troubling and I wanted to stop thinking about my ex. I eventually found myself searching for “obsessive daydreaming” and found out that there are some psychologists who recognize the condition as a mental illness, and 1/4 of sufferers were childhood abuse victims. 

As a child I did spend a lot of time fantasizing and daydreaming about having a nice family and more food to eat, about someone coming to rescue me or becoming a famous tween popstar and leaving my family in the dust. I didn’t realize that I never truly stopped as I grew older. It is taking control of my life, an old coping mechanism that I don’t have any use for anymore. But when I read about this, and then tried, for what I believe is the first time ever, to live in reality for a moment, I was horrified to hear my own conscious, and be alone with myself, with no imaginary audience. I can be a pretty abrasive person. So my conscious is somewhat abrasive. 

I want to stop daydreaming but I’m also horrified that if I do, I won’t be able to handle or stand the voice in my head, which i am pretty positive, was just my conscious, just me. I’m hoping this doesn’t lead to an onset of schizophrenia. My mother is schizophrenic and I’ve had psychotic breaks before. 

I don’t know if anyone on here can help me, and i will talk to my psychiatrist about this as I’ve read about a medication for ocd that could help, but if anyone has a similar experience or any input at all, i would love to hear it. ",7.9207611922574515,7.371504992518705,8.33594584966156,69.30869492934332,62.66583541147132,11.827621422633893,36.052844080275506,11.20814326018867,4.154506851917826,1686,68,293,42,21,560,201,401,0.094,0.79,0.117,0.9526,0,1,0,0,1,0,38.0,0,0,0,5,20,14,1,3,18,0,41,10,1,3,4,69,60,38,0,8,11,4,0,0,0,4,5,4,0,2,19,25,3,5,11,4,4,6,7,7,0,2,14,4,47,8,51,32,8,42,0,1,0,1,17,13,0,11,21,229,66,4,0.09901616544911876,0.11731796481401187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025508856922118,0.0,0.07918319173610502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346687758287848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819742968818022,0.2077032153676282,0.0,0.08148186744055963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935557543352142,0.08425546391201624,0.11155731126396136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022131511890435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529365904395034,0.0,0.0,0.11105504906662858,0.07905635109240941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131825666725204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956579043118199,0.0,0.0,0.08898934490646307,0.09685680952175536,0.18668725714474815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049898139141042,0.08422309974858888,0.11973074029473972,0.3256983439996299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627316865316241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161915191521953,0.0,0.22319682947373026,0.0,0.1327368970587092,0.0,0.0,0.09834539394119808,0.09751097767972798,0.11425136076343285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05441669503440055,0.0,0.0,0.10484382240496967,0.0,0.0,0.13987609182522412,0.0,0.0,0.08743308815181702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418000301325639,0.08936595516703305,0.0,0.0,0.1003868505637098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974836966105437,0.0997850059220538,0.10504050414663844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278827455111833,0.0,0.07636737094733569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039008093270128,0.0,0.06709591626682614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452213383383902,0.0,0.08645709643862805,0.0,0.0,0.09360228120246772,0.0,0.0,0.20147007443158804,0.1067561733915414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980859212594185,0.0,0.06343229104052621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16779215133087302,0.0,0.09792951946597317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907443763206139,0.2483458438975779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744478337039043,0.07958544312231605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344556072226754,0.0,0.0,0.2309484893611635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722547674815013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085518175532746,0.0,0.0816987063072538,0.11680459960455288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178897737184537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033824302248066,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Goblin--Slayer,2019/03/05,anyone need some one to talk to If anyone is looking for someone to talk to you can PM me or can talk to me tomarrow at any time usually ,0.3689999999999998,2.211936566666669,2.8633333333333333,92.345,83.33333333333334,5.333333333333334,23.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,0.5553333333333339,107,4,24,1,3,37,21,30,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,7,5,1,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,3,2,17,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19455395406558088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000876132146405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402471813570264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21213531959611034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19386492126371535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424067962427712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6898553528930981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682390373776276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31509248389113004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wild_Pigeon,2019/03/05,"I am now completely unable to even consider a positive outcome I've had depression for 8 years now, I think. Going to therapy for 4 years. Tried 5 different anti-depressants and other medications. 

Nothing helped.

Even some substances that used to help, psychedelic mushrooms, lsd and mdma, can't provide a temporary relief and a different perspective on life like they used to, even while having abnormal amounts of serotonin in the brain I still can't fathom that anything good can happen.

Trust in people: destroyed after betrayal from those closest to me, a great thing to happen to someone whose social deprivaton contributes to delusional thoughts and paranoia.

All that is left, all that I am able to do, no matter how hard I push myself to exercise, to eat healthy, to look for reasons to be content, is watching my life and the lives of people still around me as an irreversible descent into madness, misery and death.",11.797949167397014,9.87488763803681,10.720876424189306,59.67361963190186,56.05521472392638,13.97686240140228,46.59859772129711,12.540900571622839,6.09082541630149,747,38,110,19,7,238,114,163,0.171,0.703,0.126,-0.8049,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,0,10,8,2,0,7,0,11,6,1,4,2,18,19,9,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,8,1,0,3,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,3,10,5,26,16,4,17,0,1,2,0,5,7,0,1,9,81,18,0,0.1456976529582164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198967541400353,0.12970180082902902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626467658082069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276121711284124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509783500000991,0.0,0.0,0.3044460743533131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908507243519156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886957770148321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828033337798844,0.12220427872302783,0.0,0.16063217674433294,0.0,0.0,0.2576799066741253,0.0,0.13051647911502195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531613120635571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583009262446812,0.0,0.20582112215177173,0.07118051376266653,0.0,0.12865369686684786,0.0,0.12234933359333824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677505718490255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980082750083878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20201681503175364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980145315088025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852040905281558,0.12344914854474222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327086677155249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16661796383408314,0.0,0.09679504661966958,0.09335717300224587,0.0,0.11566766186306104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891914251350957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516719851526173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18764902323979946
mentalhealth,localedgybitch,2019/03/05,"i really don't want to lose my cat. since i started living with my mom, my mental health has gone to shit. so much has happened and it just hasn't been good with school or home. i got bullied for years in school until i started skipping. a lot of people don't understand my reasoning. they expect me to just go back and face it but it's not that easy. it's actually really fucking hard. i did the best i could to hold on, but i reached my limit. so basically, I'm not longer in school. I'm going to get a job and start online school.

but at home, my relationship with my mom is just really bad. whenever she is being nice to me, i can never accept it. i can't get comfortable because i know that once i do, she's going to go back to how she usually is. it's hard. i can't talk about my feelings much because she cancels my therapy sessions. whenever i try telling her how she makes me feel, she interrupts me, denies being abusive and just blames everything on me. I've battled with suicidal thoughts. i was on and off meds and in and out of psychiatric hospitals. but i haven't been back to one in about 2 years.

i feel better since i have a cat. I've had her for almost a year. i plan to keep her for the rest of her life. or mine. who knows. the point is, i don't want to lose her or have her go back to a shelter. i don't care what it costs or what i have to go through. but whenever my mom gets mad she threatens to take her from me. or when she makes bad decisions, she brings up taking my cat to a shelter. now im scared.

i just want a little more time. im almost 17. I'm going to get a job and save up for a place. i hope she won't get rid of her before i can move out and take her with me. i just don't trust her anymore. all she does is bring me down. i finally feel better and like i have another important reason to live and she wants to ruin that for me. i can't get a break...

maybe it sounds dumb to people who don't have pets, but i really love mine and can't handle losing her. i want to keep her for as long as i can.",0.6477099657874419,2.2869068280543026,2.950589338925063,93.10954695949677,81.39819004524887,6.484140823308687,20.056505904425567,7.499876790926021,0.4143527645955194,1566,41,374,24,41,537,185,442,0.197,0.706,0.097,-0.993,2,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,1,8,18,25,5,1,13,0,37,6,2,6,2,72,85,31,1,8,19,3,6,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,15,19,0,4,12,0,1,11,16,12,0,1,8,7,78,13,56,73,7,47,0,4,0,2,34,17,3,9,19,249,93,7,0.0,0.08492297519802408,0.06994431298356357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435440148657827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515732817130044,0.0,0.0,0.07108219017555822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220454137305268,0.11969100939181995,0.08738464485332105,0.0,0.06099001703142042,0.0,0.07521833158794948,0.1267811579315704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307728499583431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722653434800394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272314299229136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441673227421496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496382810183905,0.0,0.0,0.07851629317001985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626224255026818,0.22468290064671448,0.0,0.2851412773308849,0.06011746239074516,0.05732492402382273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338183188103609,0.0,0.12841317188824866,0.0,0.0,0.07618701236337817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379143425222765,0.07118929708462497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484227184372856,0.0,0.1422524551912338,0.12741579733957656,0.0,0.0,0.07878124463019838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050626065222413884,0.03501671057508287,0.07183702792594218,0.12658040886363198,0.06342998550890844,0.0,0.24055746550235502,0.0,0.060935393137765574,0.0646893492077631,0.0,0.09568703597020617,0.0,0.07200701914345957,0.0,0.0796145988238048,0.0,0.07223138925472701,0.0,0.0,0.2518341491419192,0.0,0.07617902095564752,0.1053785214261288,0.0,0.0552800618317947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633137451353864,0.04856873235100508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993806305873728,0.0,0.07488496154225256,0.0,0.06775589925752151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836669733345075,0.1473873635192122,0.0,0.07695196380140146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175902719746051,0.2901550931633821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357320206232781,0.11858035080986695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521954801797797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784006510374201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616716982400681,0.05760952828592696,0.06264697684741445,0.0,0.08196643586531413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056901823606669476,0.04179418059529949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486625173187171,0.0,0.0,0.07461604511114794,0.0,0.0,0.07893971955402936,0.0,0.21137841359075155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846875758147595
mentalhealth,ventingthrowawayidk,2019/03/05,"Types of eating disorders that don’t involve starvation? I’ve only just truly started to think I might have an eating disorder but upon researching symptoms and habits looking for a name or information about what I have, I’ve noticed many articles don’t talk in detail about disorders that don’t involve restricting or withholding food. I have never truly starved myself or forced myself to vomit, yet the most common eating disorder symptom that is discussed on articles about symptoms and leaves no real help or clue or anything to help me try to understand what I deal with and put a name to it. I’d just like at least a little light to shed on the situation.",11.548048780487811,8.810441040650408,10.888552845528457,60.81234146341466,57.29268292682927,14.067642276422768,44.11219512195122,12.340626583579946,5.55421756097561,540,24,85,13,5,176,78,123,0.116,0.735,0.149,0.6636,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,6,0,8,8,0,0,1,23,12,9,0,0,8,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,4,4,2,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,17,11,2,11,0,0,1,0,10,6,0,7,5,60,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666001879915617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362476491381495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5941884771292726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39787774262943215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672791274684258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375301254541722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724089076440354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332210567762557,0.12990574497679766,0.0,0.0,0.10884183074621008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314067007131891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749834777812686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996512692626884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756465572807584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857612370760564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029633117246006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752736620839318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568984640251714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174037310878176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4041509509904143,0.0,0.10417759344749626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305043701037668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799835888605011,0.0,0.0,0.1349311519037052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Raintoastgw,2019/03/05,"My girlfriend just broke up with me and I’ve never been lower in my entire life Before I get into it, I don’t want this to get popular cause I have friends that use reddit and I’m not really ready to tell them that I’m messed up as I am so please don’t upvote this, but I still need advise. 

I’ve been trying to get through a point in my life where I haven’t been happy in about 3 years. But I’ve been dating this girl for about 2 years and whenever I was with her I felt better and was actually able to find happiness. But I’ve never told her the full extent of how unhappy I was before I met her (I regret that now, I just didn’t want her to get scared away or to just stay with me out of pity). After she broke up with me I felt like all chance of ever being happy again just left me. She ended it for reasons I completely understand but that on top of everything I’ve been going through just broke me. She was the first person that I actually ever loved and that somebody ever loved me back.
My friends knew that I was really screwed up after it and just kept telling me to fuck another girl to get over her but I haven’t been able to bring myself to it. I still love my ex even though I know I probably won’t ever get back together with her. I feel like the first step to getting back to normal is to get over her. Does anybody have any help in getting over something that you thought was the only thing keeping you happy?",3.259217912330495,3.986811701986756,4.514597918637655,88.30919426048567,72.70860927152317,7.606685588142543,23.321349731945762,7.793537801064563,0.8899588142541783,1122,27,249,14,21,371,141,302,0.099,0.6970000000000001,0.205,0.989,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,1,4,24,22,2,1,5,0,23,7,0,4,7,52,55,16,0,5,13,1,3,2,3,1,2,0,0,3,16,13,0,2,9,0,0,3,9,9,0,2,20,3,47,13,46,33,3,45,0,5,0,5,29,20,2,1,23,178,63,1,0.1753402258524153,0.0,0.17110676730029953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961868312609344,0.09192975750109196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236895701781327,0.2022387158614221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149201617782548,0.0,0.0,0.07753709044707277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006135581927156,0.0,0.0,0.09192044540942937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672070662018969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764969818447436,0.0,0.0,0.057905282751232925,0.31721054540177235,0.0,0.0,0.07879224449656058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04432864328764447,0.0626315461917996,0.16835411383758664,0.0,0.08012889493654217,0.14914430653746855,0.0,0.0,0.13546742354333996,0.08104960670290004,0.4122361399812586,0.0,0.049824945534509016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733058617162949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876342868776991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792522456717926,0.0,0.0,0.04818120129271637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525383421361301,0.0,0.12384798694608636,0.08566237757458033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23737709935691895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650062778708157,0.13523319155943125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589809654020701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667707144697159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655016101326921,0.0,0.09623545715217058,0.08287659420004356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452320976432577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232743852414044,0.0901394775248303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777307721399089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749273610478365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344467549963847,0.14002693086194207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325508582830408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058244127448488225,0.0,0.08613544082452293,0.06960027681676596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377254992114264,0.0,0.05952225185954139,0.0,0.0,0.09126767940877534,0.0,0.0757188290638437,0.0,0.0,0.1034202081163582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291335669383573
mentalhealth,_ThrowAway_abc123,2019/03/05,"I don't know what is wrong with me To start off I am a 20 year old male college student wanting to vent and ask for help. For the last 4-5 years I have been struggling with my mental health. It's not like I am depressed though. I am typically a very positive and optimistic individual, but there is just some days I just feel down. It can be anywhere from just not wanting to do anything to having suicidal thoughts. Some nights I'll just cry myself to sleep, but I don't even know what i am crying about. I believe I have a lot going for me currently, yet I still go through these episodes of being down. Most of these episodes are only about 2 hours long, but others can be days. What I am wanting to ask is, where should I start to ask for help?",4.161883116883114,4.613741681818183,4.7445714285714295,88.47542857142858,70.49350649350649,7.718441558441559,28.387012987012987,7.554174236665415,1.377802077922078,585,20,130,6,10,187,92,154,0.131,0.7929999999999999,0.075,-0.8904,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,1,4,0,22,2,1,0,0,25,36,6,1,4,9,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,2,1,17,1,22,30,4,20,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,4,15,94,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362161301005953,0.0,0.4213176913897699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16925108855140722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300281826964738,0.19376420004985803,0.0,0.12938777484075095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922158410305376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595780556041985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075160637833506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15968116590467904,0.0,0.0,0.2013840604760096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794045258903174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511844478126236,0.12245267047849985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339189446236485,0.0,0.0,0.1329435782449455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771513568073115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139053354786378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409751170238742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763489529036429,0.0,0.0,0.11425217765956165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033256406455595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21265874560190892,0.0,0.1199691395766032,0.0,0.0,0.15704681932462816,0.0,0.16432075464031254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759439000998634,0.11926113459179205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395059381653847,0.2658181531119646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642464423869196,0.0,0.1934787567774545
mentalhealth,cassandrabethel98,2019/03/05,"Issues with self destructive thoughts Hey everyone. I was just asking for advice. For a long time I used to self harm a lot and struggled with suicidal thoughts. That was a while back and its not nearly as bad. Something im trying to overcome now is self destructive thoughts. For example today I failed a small math pop quiz. It was like 5 points so its nothing to my grade. On the drive home I was having thoughts along the lines of ""youre so fucking stupid why are you even taking this class"" ""you deserve to die"" ""crash your car and kill yourself""""you deserve to cut yourself again you're worthless"". I find myself thinking these things whenever I fail anything big or small. The reason im asking for advice is its starting to affect my relationship with my friends and family. They'll ask me whats wrong and ill completely shut down and wont speak. I also feel its affecting how I can learn from these mistakes im making. Bogging me down in a way. If anyone knows any small exercises i can do i would really appreciate it. Thanks :)",3.695,6.008822439393942,4.135353535353538,85.00636363636366,74.60606060606061,7.228282828282829,26.656565656565647,8.167268648758528,1.8197050505050507,825,31,154,14,18,259,134,198,0.229,0.6920000000000001,0.079,-0.9876,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,4,1,2,9,17,6,1,8,0,14,3,0,6,0,32,30,14,3,3,4,0,1,1,1,3,2,1,1,3,12,10,0,0,10,1,0,2,2,14,0,0,8,2,21,3,22,19,1,22,0,3,0,1,15,11,1,3,9,96,33,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270956204864972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292388281665624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901895130649668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124867926427093,0.0,0.0956214486397934,0.0,0.3258896806740818,0.0,0.0,0.0893494589447349,0.09702087754333784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218318959598115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059567730978801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767480004285096,0.0,0.0,0.1110326276251246,0.0,0.0,0.10954158594728347,0.0,0.058753443077919326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620330599792813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977465773562754,0.10742362275801616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655655011394475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765428958637221,0.1212810242535053,0.0,0.0,0.12855640235605312,0.0,0.06385964599025758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676870812500314,0.0,0.0,0.10283199862555564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878779276262578,0.0,0.0,0.07756338798146027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114955758607006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984512267221297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443972199410905,0.11947139070923556,0.0,0.1247536819119746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636610710989985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945526717734452,0.0,0.0,0.08224588251700421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147588113795972,0.0,0.1271022778113416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873667962022947,0.0,0.0,0.10697994901960543,0.0,0.0,0.07719710717204924,0.07445529436905518,0.0,0.3689944558534293,0.06775626838080323,0.0,0.11014257271374063,0.0,0.0,0.07889114074181205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003581788971471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223294516942347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048510550685101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254406659854589,0.12704479720460865,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toadall,2019/03/05,"Tactile hallucinations? Are they a thing others have felt? Sorry if this is the wrong sub- but I got a couple of flea bites from my friends cat yesterday and something bad happened. Ever since I was a kid I had a phobia of bugs biting me and crawling on me and I would lay awake at night because I could literally feel them crawling all over me, i would panic and itch and turn on the light and nothing was there. My parents just said I had an overactive imagination. It hasn’t happened in forever, but it’s back and it’s not stopping. I feel constantly twitchy and itchy and I’m absolutely miserable right now. Am I crazy?? Is this something that happens with anxiety? I can’t tell if I’m hallucinating or what it feels so real and it’s so stressful because I know nothing is there :( I don’t know what to do, and I can’t manage to feel clean of it",2.1088854489164106,4.364553380116959,3.7902511179910574,85.80424148606812,79.52631578947368,6.596628826969385,26.433092535259718,7.724431198458867,1.5746130718954254,672,28,136,11,17,224,104,171,0.196,0.735,0.069,-0.9741,1,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,0,8,6,0,3,7,0,18,1,1,0,2,34,33,18,0,5,7,1,5,0,1,2,1,1,1,1,13,12,0,1,8,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,7,7,20,1,12,23,1,13,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,3,7,96,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568709278334703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162830741086184,0.12626697493975095,0.18437132108549845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634210405349057,0.0,0.12074125559011355,0.16732813824621764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367921216341115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058566243715918,0.0,0.14520019432837894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683644536677955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094884623195155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011846279059909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621915868182968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191488647935718,0.0,0.29020988965612365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743053967763994,0.16791802026580527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17212772529355835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914574983124752,0.14385007980343462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509529546234766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328415546203457,0.0,0.1692845650737251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264312885616218,0.1732282981230594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217775162625114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046750187721568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644899173751904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148525111817939,0.16534134333813386,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lizzyb187,2019/03/05,"Anyone ever use online or phone therapy with a real therapist? Can you recommend a website? Whether it's free or low cost, either is fine.",2.8302564102564105,5.661571769230772,5.036153846153848,74.39217948717952,81.30769230769229,8.082051282051282,27.89743589743589,8.841846274778883,3.1629128205128207,110,5,17,3,3,38,24,26,0.07200000000000001,0.654,0.274,0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,3,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28534942244129685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36914517463968893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645013064698178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4666920507433003,0.4738295990735567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524629402579649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,realtor-cat,2019/03/05,"Depression often makes me feel like I’m wasting my life away. This is a quick memo I wrote about wanting the most out of life, but the effects of depression causing a lack of energy to do anything about it. Maybe someone can relate. That thing called time...

Always there.
Never tangible.

Ever constant.
Ever elusive.

It can heal.
It can hurt.

It comes and goes in the blink of an eye. 
It creeps when you pray it to pass.

It can bring a lifetime of joy.
It can be the cruelest of punishments.

It’s worthless in excess.
It’s treasure in deficit.

It can be extremely fluid.
It can evaporate without warning.

It can be cherished.
It can never be forgiven.

It’s the most valuable possession.
It’s our daily waste.

It can sometimes be seen;
Sometimes be heard.
It can never be held;
But it can always be felt with the heart.

Empty hourglass.
Empty heart.
Empty life.

Time’s tickin... ",0.9417555938037871,3.4363902409638563,2.2185283993115306,89.71629518072291,98.3975903614458,4.540103270223752,22.7960413080895,6.367922702773337,0.9301125645438906,684,28,123,9,28,218,95,166,0.222,0.648,0.13,-0.958,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,1,0,1,8,10,1,0,10,0,22,7,3,3,5,24,33,4,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,22,4,0,1,3,0,0,3,4,5,0,0,5,5,5,5,17,20,3,18,1,4,2,0,5,5,0,3,11,91,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559499848158705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656535533230226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14450137293601176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570483110967963,0.0,0.0,0.15799628932473894,0.0,0.1324861911438743,0.0,0.16620455345532564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649376480315459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278244140631915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776655244123186,0.10987567090187916,0.1476733557746506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645105336873788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464745983345686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259031945469543,0.07513954052989234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266355404874516,0.0,0.15451406612752375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35586310463959925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031533224649866,0.0,0.30422681310720284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021787416823362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793655357787252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071598453595772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825895325225671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yentrouc16,2019/03/05,"ICANdles- Spreading positivity one candle at a time.   

Hello everyone! I would like to take some time to explain why I started my business; ICANdles. I will be getting a little personal, but I believe that is very important to get my story out. Maybe I can help someone that is having a hard time like I have been. 

I have struggled from anxiety, depression and PTSD for the past few years. Lately, my mental state has spiraled out of control. To the point where I had to leave my full-time job that I loved so much, and I left behind great co-workers. Since leaving my job I have been working on myself and I was searching for a psychiatrist. My primary doctor wasn’t cutting it…Do you know how hard it is to find a psychiatrist in the area...? Hard, really, really, HARD. After months of searching I was finally able to see a psychiatrist in Newton that I have been going to the past month. I also have been struggling to find a good therapist, which I am still working on. 

Aside from all that nonsense I was sleeping for 16+ hours a day and constantly exhausted! I needed to find something to do that I could handle, work on in my own time, and something to keep my mind distracted from my mental state. I started to realize that every time I would be able to relax is when I would have a candle lit. I started to research how to make candles and thought it would be a great hobby to start for myself. That is when I came up the idea to combine my hobby and mental health together. Then came ICANdles, a business to spread positivity into the world one candle at a time. Spreading the message that you can do anything you set your mind too and with hard work and dedication you will succeed. Maybe not immediately but everything takes time! Oh boy have I learned that the past few years. Each candle is hand crafted and poured with love, attached with a note of inspiration. 

If you suffer from a mental illness, you are in no way alone.

Don't worry, be happy. ❤️🙃 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Below are the links where you will find ICANdles for sale. 

   
 

https://www.ebay.com/usr/icandlesco

https://www.etsy.com/listing/682195325/16-oz-mason-jar-candles?ref=shop\_home\_active\_1&crt=1

   
 

""I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me."" – Joshua Graham",5.834264354066986,7.816738775119617,5.708202751196174,77.40335675837325,67.94736842105263,7.713038277511963,29.330442583732058,8.278499904357787,2.1583562200956945,1840,68,315,26,32,574,207,418,0.129,0.7070000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9776,2,1,2,0,0,0,79.0,0,9,0,7,11,19,1,3,26,0,44,8,2,4,1,51,66,20,0,7,4,0,8,2,0,7,4,0,0,2,13,20,0,2,12,2,1,3,4,7,0,2,12,10,50,12,54,42,7,58,0,2,2,2,17,22,0,2,31,222,63,11,0.13946011772544686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221931149633297,0.0,0.05576310287974354,0.0,0.07555248964484998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053343304170419284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05738189705795577,0.062074536018799975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042506796671709215,0.0,0.0,0.07856189790545373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950522207863288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753534215733594,0.07820819028179775,0.05567377801535435,0.0,0.0,0.04497011934261586,0.0,0.06005839752200753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713716699615836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875058202462277,0.06663005945935649,0.06266888068566479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638587110576335,0.25492804213600145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286215550745598,0.0,0.03962919938152281,0.05848626505381769,0.0,0.15375527212977072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422894428454498,0.3123221818080996,0.0,0.0,0.07411979184651991,0.0,0.0,0.04673858860912609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867006192906107,0.0,0.0,0.07871674888407873,0.0,0.0,0.13839264779332447,0.061979280219861786,0.0,0.0,0.03832181675237142,0.0,0.07865854362473138,0.14766812821989606,0.07576191298174764,0.0,0.0,0.06813316911800983,0.06988783772420104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586820113374078,0.0,0.046545355753648765,0.0,0.140106432969068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810859945949944,0.0,0.1408149632920355,0.0,0.1113157354413188,0.0,0.0512596165075056,0.05170395510034178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450178502697787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19969569391527495,0.0,0.06088559778517805,0.0,0.0,0.06591744437212352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815107073066542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974892880695263,0.0,0.08934172249532739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556582893243566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768142526179072,0.0,0.06978041707730293,0.0,0.05908205259179172,0.10736321202994492,0.0,0.0,0.19742117824671587,0.0,0.055686515081759966,0.0,0.0,0.1457939950845308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728497875560865,0.0,0.0,0.06419806967193024,0.0,0.08096197278343921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055357877813844304,0.3252812646170658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575346012842781,0.0,0.055348475058151686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292053230675984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25382156666527755,0.07081425955270078,0.0,0.19813693265180965,0.0,0.0,0.08980774343562184
mentalhealth,pinkhairmermaid,2019/03/05,"alcoholism my best friend/cousin has a mother who is a very bad alcoholic. she has been a wonderful mother up until recently which is why this is so hard on my cousin. my aunt has cut all ties with her at a very fragile point in her life. she is going through nursing school and getting interviews and can’t even enjoy this because she can’t even get a “congratulations” from her mother. i’m at a loss because i have no idea how to help her/what advice to give her. i know she needs to cope with not having a relationship with her mom but i don’t know how she would go about doing that. (trust me, it’s bad, my aunt is way too far gone). & she can’t afford therapy right now.",2.7643506493506496,4.133917071428569,4.039350649350652,88.7711038961039,74.71428571428572,7.376623376623378,22.72727272727273,8.00094639256281,0.9229285714285712,530,14,117,8,11,174,90,140,0.101,0.815,0.083,-0.3547,1,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,8,7,1,0,7,0,17,3,0,2,1,16,28,7,0,2,2,7,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,5,2,0,4,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,2,2,19,3,15,25,2,15,0,1,0,0,23,8,0,1,3,78,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633077657724436,0.0,0.3572009897507892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107449003537865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790765002150524,0.2037496465450212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538216811976268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207624163008053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911652586151806,0.0,0.17462664319084265,0.1603167674276737,0.18995633637623555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497067272395131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201703791832301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18865817961035405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368960330185197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804182430844995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19572896726406244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391738970635872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798245273220224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501087481449542,0.17942437658010274,0.0,0.14271959828668854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16913439934015476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111632672016515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27578306514879075,0.0,0.13265210640313896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079983934027422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18123455103069552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187172792245179,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IlikeVisa,2019/03/06,"I’m looking for someone to help a little girl. Hello, me and my friend run a discord server and advertised it as a teen friendly homework help and metal support server. Being a teen my self I am incapable of providing the same help a professional can. A little context on what happened and why I need help. Said girl joins discord server ya da ya da ya da. She’s likes to @ someone and “slap” them. It’s innocent so we didn’t really stop it. Someone gets mad about the @ and they say “wtf why’d you slap me.” This is what started it all. She pings the mental health support role and I answer. She tells me how she’s shaking and having a panic attack (she’s also autistic). I tell her to calm down and start talking about other things such as school and life. She seems calm but then dms me again saying how she’s shaking and she doesn’t know why. I know this may be a long shot or even in the wrong sub reddit. Can someone experienced with young children or not even help her. I don’t know if I’m over stepping my boundaries by posting this but please I feel she needs true help. If you are willing to help or just want to give me advice my Discord is IlikeVisa#0001 any and all help will be appreciated. ",2.242687747035572,4.3720538760330605,3.385379087315848,89.53146784045994,78.42148760330578,5.5310097017606905,23.744879626302552,6.498293943080001,0.658077757815307,946,32,191,8,23,305,138,242,0.104,0.698,0.198,0.9661,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,5,2,0,11,14,2,3,12,0,16,2,0,2,3,40,35,26,0,5,9,0,1,1,2,3,2,3,1,4,11,14,0,1,6,0,0,4,4,6,0,0,2,6,35,8,17,27,3,18,0,0,1,0,42,6,0,7,8,124,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028084425943774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413512908559928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154532792713983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196897570578816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389783277966266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05319653427889367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162567516299451,0.0,0.05496705296596482,0.10092549550870952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930354512975458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118316222153774,0.0,0.0,0.5641518470574216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17345937543371576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431181279560818,0.051399515833229104,0.21089293618110488,0.0,0.09310613392642794,0.08834856868529904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602533403855252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602140885110272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234394030925668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548724291021445,0.0,0.0,0.10076057642868257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739920275853854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007729231965924,0.16733190399738931,0.0,0.10647652977829736,0.0,0.0957777869558989,0.10975531884409953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565709843781508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893411107196744,0.0,0.0,0.08795894337370055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387785183796457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456253636183686,0.18391357871655228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989579406373024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620546472682777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18986845546168094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150288826560698,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Neutrin0B0mb,2019/03/06,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me I’m not sure what my problem is. The best way I can explain it is that sometimes waves of hopelessness and boredom of the same monotony everyday just come over me. I still don’t show anyone any signs of this though.  But It has become increasingly hard for me to pay anything any attention as of late (besides baseball) or apply any brainpower to anything. Ive also been extremely tired and unmotivated all the time. I used to be able to pay attention in class, but so often I find myself just zoning out and just thinking about nothing. Same occurs when trying to do assignments or homework. I went from making all A’s last semester (and all of my previous years in high school)  to having two B’s this semester. I’m worried that if I let whatever is happening to me keep happening that it’s going to get worse and spiral out of control. I would see a therapist but that would mean having to confront my parents about this which is something that I really don’t want to do.  So is this something I should be worried about? Maybe it’s just teenage blues? It doesn’t seem like blues to me because it is very frequent and it just feels out of my control.",4.883525641025641,5.896558666666667,5.544519230769232,81.35985576923079,69.17094017094017,8.755982905982906,31.29166666666667,9.017664075816787,2.594402564102565,944,39,182,17,16,306,130,234,0.127,0.84,0.033,-0.9388,2,0,2,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,3,15,7,1,0,5,0,24,1,0,4,4,50,43,18,0,6,12,1,2,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,19,11,0,3,9,1,2,4,5,4,0,1,2,5,21,3,31,35,7,20,0,1,3,0,2,7,0,5,9,131,40,6,0.12925747001524762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336715207175587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636985361136429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037982842053413,0.0,0.21273576874468333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879415399683333,0.14275472038817824,0.0,0.0,0.13564774022882614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134386517956484,0.0,0.0,0.2899464872157267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535646059213042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813898589742645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675316931776319,0.0,0.07345999894923065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22860390771026665,0.0,0.11578930437914285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656761379866195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488997837155306,0.0,0.0,0.07103652514550594,0.10536208982713756,0.14580805623630394,0.0,0.0,0.1321745205521179,0.0,0.06314867080244846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628036493588168,0.0,0.1298565020151146,0.14079927797239736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240260285728743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435251238616623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368194220196325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280564511844818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081546038240927,0.10300146858109456,0.1176711461308162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19901743073273045,0.12783894295003012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032251825228575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182363579004722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007788520633356,0.0,0.08282296759788384,0.1269948080139597,0.0,0.0753710702269298,0.14856244724055218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775733745718463,0.0,0.12626576635992248,0.0,0.0,0.11163695301211016,0.0,0.10665094969993473,0.07623940476056311,0.10259856325810797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982296967931247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625344702147778,0.13172440472013705,0.1836415962416854,0.14132275228409052,0.0,0.08323757281719839
mentalhealth,_happykate91,2019/03/06,"Healthcare advice?? Okay so, I apologize in advance as this post is going to be a bit messy, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m open to any advice, insight, past personal experiences, just anything at all.

Someone very close to me was diagnosed bipolar when they were younger, before I even knew them. They were seeing a doctor regularly and was prescribed medication. For reasons I’m unsure of, this person stopped taking their medication and visiting this doctor. If I had to guess based of the small bits of conversation I’d say this person was either prescribed the wrong medication or possibly the wrong dose as they mentioned once before it made them feel nothing at all.. however I’m not a doctor, just a guess. 


Anyway, fast forward to today and this person is having a hard time managing their mental health on their own. I’ve noticed small changes and I’ve grown concerned as well because I care for this person a lot.. Quite frankly it makes me really sad. We’ve called their previous doctor to try and get in contact, as well as to get our own copies of their medical/mental health records, but with no luck. We were told she no longer worked there and that was pretty much the end of it. We made a few more phone calls, on multiple occasions, but none were returned. We called their regular family doctor looking for recommendations for help with their mental health but was told they would leave a message for so and so and we would be hearing back from them. This happened at the very least three times and now we feel as though it’s pointless to keep exhausting these options. 

Any advice? Anything at all is appreciated as I know this person is starting to feel defeated. 

TL;DR: Need help finding mental health professionals in PA after having not been to previous doctor in years. Unable to get in contact with previous doctor, family doctor not returning calls in regards to mental health. Any advice, insight, personal experience with more specifically the mental healthcare system or what my next step could possibly be would be so greatly appreciated. TIA. Starting to feel defeated. ",6.106013611615246,8.137502902631578,6.195607985480944,73.98184210526317,67.34210526315789,8.925589836660619,31.261343012704174,9.40505699530331,3.1039754990925594,1693,69,273,35,29,537,191,380,0.076,0.826,0.098,0.9279,1,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,6,0,14,5,17,12,0,0,14,1,26,20,0,4,3,61,58,28,0,6,12,1,5,0,0,3,20,2,0,7,15,20,0,2,11,0,0,6,7,6,2,1,16,9,30,6,49,34,15,43,0,3,2,0,47,18,0,8,19,185,45,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255559423288232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772481996079705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497314791272328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04437184073756382,0.0,0.03517663666226401,0.0,0.098205979906001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599856070981846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356943958333388,0.0,0.05883443497145448,0.0,0.061044593058618174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046073014534287485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05856970041686072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725108450976005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110979902862353,0.0,0.0,0.07622765917467217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289378098476432,0.1087989085373066,0.0,0.11671020506792135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052741630841408836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904459676358422,0.0,0.03279527174504894,0.0,0.0,0.0636203356417141,0.12713786469181718,0.0,0.05102863723507309,0.0,0.05169264574736213,0.0,0.0,0.3066903638263304,0.06503810652941593,0.0,0.07735733945364599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05129115321771099,0.0,0.0,0.063426686068453,0.0,0.0,0.061101617855446676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04845794800588008,0.0,0.0,0.04905901232138342,0.0,0.1092043666157115,0.03851875925413236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439616254714144,0.2907670265970679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042420060943609325,0.042787774779021036,0.0,0.0,0.06137027850867933,0.0,0.0,0.05536982532926127,0.06569790645519515,0.0,0.061454298560141174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055086271827140654,0.0,0.3527025095437482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301081898300548,0.05526575977722732,0.058707071217215474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06137672694602135,0.0,0.0,0.036967515280804865,0.059330695270626975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04588959857693569,0.0,0.0,0.045983680922602216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048893543151076066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168826635250585,0.0,0.0,0.04824424399944091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0433872304614314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669519872858296,0.0,0.06729688987650652,0.0,0.054697910346637096,0.11027984115052272,0.0,0.03917813464058691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522588966259538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376805273533174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042010171204331634,0.0,0.0,0.1229766431783424,0.12618345034603418,0.0,0.03716034384679105
mentalhealth,v11209,2019/03/06,"Long-range counseling options? I'm trying to figure out a way to get some professional mental health counseling while living very far from home. I am American, but currently live in Southeast Asia, and am dating a local. Our relationship seems to work pretty well, but whenever I visit her hometown, I very quickly start to feel like my mental stability deteriorates. 

The basics of my issue are that I'm rather introverted, and social situations wear me out. Visits to her town, however, offer very little privacy, and lots of social obligations with her massive extended family. Being practically the only white guy most of the locals have ever seen, I'm a novelty everywhere I go, so there's no real way to 'escape' and relax in the ways I normally would. And since I speak very little of the language, and nobody but my girlfriend speaks much English, I'm basically tied to her. Her family (and others) have been nothing but nice to me, but it seems all the normal 'nice' gestures are social in nature, which is the opposite of what I feel I need. I feel at times like I'm ready to explode at someone but that the 'final straw' will be just some banal gesture like a friendly slap on the back.

I've never been treated for mental health issues before and never experienced issues quite like this, so I'm not sure what type of counseling would best suit me. My suspicion is that this is some type of anxiety issue, but I'm certainly no expert.  

I had hoped to be able to work with a counselor over video chat or something through the Veterans' Administration - after all, the VA makes a big to-do these days about their mental health services. But, when I emailed the office I was told that without a referral from my 'primary care doctor' the best they could do is to give me the toll-free crisis hotline number. That doesn't seem to me like a very good solution - I'm away from the situation that brings on the anxiety so neither I nor anyone else is in any immediate danger. I'd rather to talk with someone who could help me get to the root of the problem and offer strategies to deal with it. I'm kinda on the wrong side of the planet to see my primary care doctor, so I'm searching for other options.

I'm not particularly put-off by the idea of discussing this in painful detail, but I want to do so with a secular professional with relevant training. Does anyone around here have any pointers? Thanks.",7.5066960352422925,7.358563431718062,8.022796475770924,69.88806255506609,63.36123348017621,10.876334801762118,33.798766519823786,10.444984826868176,3.560294731277533,1914,71,330,41,25,636,242,454,0.08199999999999999,0.754,0.163,0.9914,2,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,1,0,2,5,17,24,1,0,30,0,27,7,1,2,7,70,60,27,0,12,16,0,3,5,2,3,6,2,1,1,18,18,0,0,8,3,0,4,10,4,1,0,6,9,34,20,59,46,11,44,0,0,3,0,30,23,0,13,19,221,52,9,0.07394427347093163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056928323483036,0.0,0.11313433362177185,0.0,0.0,0.10340711060173924,0.07576464650092993,0.0,0.06582608048548645,0.0,0.0,0.06947307902257613,0.05685858199153996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292113047067899,0.0,0.15519990601720735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078222986221046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807697093248992,0.0,0.0,0.04768793913163412,0.07623329906637813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137019436929502,0.06470913201607781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061770952163032265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688682874400703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394161603131668,0.0,0.1121653393311792,0.052825803742397995,0.0,0.08100233721987275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057129162256940626,0.0,0.07726566190244635,0.07093408498852327,0.04202423465998128,0.062020948325124885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321645623833656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357979147284576,0.0,0.0,0.04956328782917661,0.0,0.07417213533888206,0.0734433480756366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347408422078068,0.0,0.30871444071311777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18062718474186665,0.14822317575105445,0.1305882963934465,0.06543835513118818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286477703274336,0.0,0.0,0.04935837672854046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980737431198734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054357549138286165,0.05482874183420874,0.11406076444129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448993762913887,0.07095152468344271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623795203122008,0.07868192043198942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522790956610853,0.0,0.07075468331941735,0.0,0.07433441838366196,0.0,0.07864883681686805,0.0,0.08416477167157801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938847683594723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892401235897296,0.20194826824574127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611674671341927,0.16623292304987294,0.0,0.22613062434503745,0.12530548590736645,0.056925914308268766,0.0,0.0,0.052338137351812274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969160265182192,0.0,0.0,0.059433606056637965,0.0,0.06807795228557942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04311750050499557,0.0,0.0,0.07065692211369892,0.0,0.05020330785717382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050588484215365,0.043614248323219626,0.17608056737581074,0.0,0.0,0.06648478220061149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127964091842581,0.0,0.10766462351776962,0.0,0.0,0.10505578061779904,0.08084645507394504,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Polski98,2019/03/06,"https://www.theodysseyonline.com/mental-health-residential-treatment ""My name is Nathan. I'm 20 years old and I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and attention-deficit disorder. I've spent the past three years of my life attending college and working full-time in the summer. This year, in 2019, I'm spending two to three months of my life away from all of that, and instead, I am currently living in a residential mental health treatment center for mood disorders. After having gone to inpatient care twice over a period of two months, I decided that I needed a full reset on life. I needed a place where I could finally shut everything out and focus solely on my well-being.""",9.945967741935485,11.78443053225807,9.106612903225805,57.37991935483874,58.193548387096776,12.9741935483871,36.467741935483865,12.38480682065935,5.471599999999999,622,26,85,21,8,196,85,124,0.127,0.847,0.027000000000000003,-0.872,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,6,0,6,5,0,0,1,14,13,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,5,3,0,10,1,18,9,3,27,0,1,0,0,2,13,0,0,12,57,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071446935106764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114111569134654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090167088666065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467762276774447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213401186920826,0.12035765529430645,0.0,0.0,0.6795229607621235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065733430771986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990016031142132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25209302986886184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25127271255996203,0.0,0.0,0.10470957517101352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23900438150812775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18930113212939545,0.0,0.0,0.1758532555574188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443126320398527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319939266943622,0.0,0.10354073074588012,0.1238923555419137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316736530389416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661894659516756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632869331204877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290876591563947
mentalhealth,SpadexSnake,2019/03/06,"It feels wrong to be happy. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. After going through every depth of hell, I promised myself I would I try so hard to be happy. No, that I WOULD be happy even by force; I didn’t care if what I did went against my morals or if it hurt people cause I desperately needed joy or something bad might happen to me. I wanted to be genuinely happy and not faking it to try and act “normal” like I wasn’t hurting. That survival tactic wasn’t doing it anymore, I wanted to be happy and engaged in life. To stop feeling like I’m on autopilot with brain fog clouding my judgement. I wanted to be free again and finally repair myself but whenever I get close to or achieve it it feels wrong. 

It’s not the same like it used to be (not that I actually remember how it felt. I’m just know it was a positive experience). It feels weird and uncomfortable. Almost like it’s tainted if that makes any sense. Like somehow  my happiness comes at some unforeseen cost,it makes me feel guilty. Very guilty in fact because the I also get the feeling that I was lying about my depression because I’m happy in the moment. All on top of the “happiness” being a strange sensation for me. 

I feel bad for saying it but I think I’m more comfortable being sad than happy. Any attempt doesn’t make me feel any better. I still feel like on autopilot and that I’m faking my way through life, I’m still hopeless anxious about everything, I still hate myself, and I still feel guilty. Only this time is guilt over joy instead of sadness. I still feel the same for the most part except there’s a part of me that is still forcing me to seek joy.

What’s wrong with me? Is this a normal part of the process(recovery from physical and emotional abuse) ? Am I okay?",3.4363186813186815,5.05683031908832,4.59522486772487,84.44458333333334,73.44444444444444,7.5214082214082225,25.92602767602768,8.192908349453996,1.6178660154660158,1386,47,274,22,28,455,164,351,0.195,0.575,0.231,0.9248,0,0,1,0,1,1,35.0,0,0,0,5,17,44,2,1,12,1,25,3,1,6,2,66,62,19,0,11,13,0,13,6,0,3,2,1,0,0,25,13,0,1,16,0,1,4,9,18,0,0,8,14,39,27,40,42,9,28,2,6,0,0,1,11,1,11,18,185,64,1,0.0,0.07511433510261284,0.0618657148047219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063482309760467,0.0,0.0,0.0506980564143733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933512235102082,0.0,0.0,0.07161985619076436,0.06287216669251558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586664642004123,0.0772916808558527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606893987971608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077131847110356,0.0,0.0,0.06463682720449432,0.06512553818824769,0.0,0.0546103616586954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054603202986999895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131238646840918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041872706321280456,0.0,0.05341417833733162,0.0,0.056976572040463073,0.06201381739719836,0.0,0.0,0.3526062202263052,0.09058076277439804,0.060870459755682525,0.06944762759942831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624397638625149,0.0,0.03602961962560952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606120308701088,0.6073795591557453,0.056790697701720176,0.06259079313690832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573425652981852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968197705220441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955746590780322,0.18583359281947395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695271335139946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725353308273248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047007607130046536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422997001628495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04821579825551632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20595628139509756,0.0,0.043951062543688316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181573198492687,0.0,0.0,0.0504153401853886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880562503902313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037705512073076,0.053002206352730334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04062183584944346,0.0,0.0,0.03696693479301805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608395135218637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547541112268216,0.0,0.05230864695566274,0.1121784696418679,0.05032108986114248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058769072715890436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006992859611229,0.2772559260589724,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theplanstartswithj,2019/03/06,"Do I have an inferiority complex? Hello! If I always feel like I'm worse than everyone else, and that anyone that isn't me is automatically more important than i am. I feel a need to obsessively apologize for everything I do, I feel like I can't socialize with other people because I'm beneath them, and I've begun to wonder if that means i have an inferiority complex or some other thing, or just typical emotional development? 

Thanks!",5.564430894308941,7.202903573170737,8.303414634146339,59.87308943089431,68.14634146341464,11.320325203252034,33.178861788617894,11.20814326018867,4.459578861788618,351,16,58,12,6,129,53,82,0.108,0.7190000000000001,0.173,0.6413,0,0,0,1,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,1,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,17,17,6,0,3,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,10,3,7,17,2,2,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,6,3,43,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008825027031332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681404896860002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465867757103601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20087976706097133,0.27049360771725683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297770320584336,0.2161167125351267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647628286139085,0.3435801061500291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349605795297428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619396380745447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830362819780954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670990916445566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451263663212476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221390195848388,0.0,0.0,0.159755943355487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607767810486398,0.0,0.0,0.24505695906154976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unsureand24,2019/03/06,"Am I just crazy? Ive written a few long posts and then deleted them. I dont wannt ramble on. Basically what I want to ask, in very short, is if someone feels like they know  everything that they are doing, everything stupid, and if they think they know how the world works, and why they are doing it, and still does it all anyway, knowing why, but then tries to ask for advice from people and more importantly tries to tell them exactly what they know will work,  does that make me crazy? 

Lets say your an addict and in the 10% that doesnt seem to have any control  over moderation. Like that study where 10% rats put onto cocaine couldnt wait even 5 minutes and would kill themselves to take it non stop. But you do it anyway, till you get help, and people know your an addict, and thats fine, people normally understand, or just deal with it and feel pitty, but what if your an addict and in that 10% and seem to be able to know that, but still cant just change it easily, and still carry on, does that make you crazy? ",9.656662561576354,6.002267935960598,8.722013546798028,77.72568041871921,61.75862068965517,11.923399014778322,33.256773399014776,9.188382445141503,2.5094241379310342,793,16,170,9,8,248,113,203,0.092,0.823,0.085,-0.5574,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,6,8,3,11,5,2,0,6,0,17,3,0,4,2,49,38,25,1,7,11,0,2,2,0,2,3,1,0,0,17,14,0,3,12,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,3,19,3,18,32,3,20,0,0,0,0,20,10,0,6,10,113,36,2,0.1112516682482256,0.0,0.0,0.3638422192606804,0.0,0.10871384263374424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565494939105404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20801058388160235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768951356184293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477820586174734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146955849195608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920712537873538,0.0,0.13038612662772994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348067763848072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999716517450508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250437240982993,0.07947821402566678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05812440491642459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456964814226613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308348761069353,0.0,0.3668460443204857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376236831494448,0.0,0.10870389113451884,0.0,0.0,0.09845422551384483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852270487810468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900301391751087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23138369661577016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065483453802678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183865450642276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847179190598821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255868090547907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426317748141236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665371779180141,0.09301137617546082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364740908172122,0.0,0.09723886166472027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128557686798584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15106515997849246,0.0,0.0,0.1158169101472116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917942775220317,0.06561911636413602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007746530079441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198507897136424,0.0,0.0,0.07902999315724088,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flippantdtla,2019/03/06,"Am I “socially Awkward”?   

I work in I.T. and have the privilege of working with a lot of very smart people. Some though, by their own admissions are socially challenged. Some of them dress kind of odd for a professional environment, most do not exercise at all and some even have questionable hygiene practices. These people will typically avoid any company party our “social”. They refuse to interact with people they do not work with.

Me, my hygiene game is on point, I dress very fashionably, I am in very good shape and I go to parties and mixers.

However when I go I feel a lot of anxiety when I have to talk to people and when the event is however I feel great relief. I often spend the night sleepless re living the night and convincing myself my “performance” was OK and maybe even good.

I also date semi frequently and I have been on many of dates and I go through this anxiety then too. I have been on many dates were things were going great but still I got this overwhelming feeling of “I just want this to be over, I like this person but I would much rather be alone at my computer reading”. I have often not called back or returned calls for fear it would happen again.

I think I do have social/anxiety issues but maybe not as bad as some of my coworkers.

P.S. As far as the dating thing goes, please know I married my High School sweetheart. We divorced when I was 35 (not that it matters but no kids). I never really went out on a “date” until I was 36. At that point I had never even asked a girl for her phone number. I literally have no game.",3.005605487228004,5.228514645695366,4.050203405865658,85.23518211920532,76.3841059602649,7.6255439924314095,24.030747398297066,8.527137837955566,1.6710535477767263,1221,40,238,25,28,395,165,302,0.079,0.7759999999999999,0.145,0.9592,2,2,0,0,1,0,32.0,2,0,4,5,17,18,0,4,10,1,29,1,0,0,3,50,43,26,0,4,12,0,3,1,1,3,1,0,0,3,11,14,0,2,6,4,1,5,9,5,0,0,10,3,41,13,37,28,10,42,0,1,0,0,25,16,0,11,22,179,52,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887473592029453,0.0,0.07634470555165587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492064674479778,0.0,0.21909535013639506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924850088494976,0.0,0.0,0.07340801877375759,0.07971072779022649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496440024355327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916461463261205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742660703932176,0.14481253395684776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170237595676732,0.1601459192103819,0.07635346109414022,0.2105048028456492,0.0,0.0,0.08442090970051506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086583652912667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964245794491736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941390335061824,0.05246601543091471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04664021966131627,0.0,0.08429886727310122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232479147349635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19357655026300136,0.19181831387653764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701790274726246,0.0,0.14725964743020115,0.0,0.0,0.17917810877998133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647384271424658,0.0833578620126339,0.0,0.10479379601334668,0.18049382553765705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694458067091957,0.0,0.09549255972706187,0.0,0.061158428648535865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661742250155518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892652152249578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623984996464675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673253740036909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268477002433936,0.061171222650938314,0.09379557267558693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363101388145172,0.05630874790705484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884986105851287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850273857439686,0.0,0.0,0.135633644838885,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,isabelelelan,2019/03/06,"Stuck in Life and no self-esteem My brother is going through a though period in his life and has struggled with this for a long time. He is finding it hard to find meaning in life and he is essentially stuck in the same pattern. He is working at the same job he has had for the past 3 years and doesn't like it, he is also not seeing a lot of people outside of work a part from myself and 2 other friends. All of the interests he used to have he doesn't seem to enjoy anymore. A lot of his time when he is alone is spent binge watching a tv show or youtube. His diet is very poor and he is struggling with finding motivation to cook.

​

Nothing we have tried has really helped him, everything from therapy to yoga and it just hasn't shifted his mindset. He says as well that maybe the modern world wasn't meant for him.

Although, I feel as if what is bringing him down is lack of self esteem and fear. Fear of being turned down from anything that has gotten to do with putting himself out there. Fear of trying to accomplish something in case it fails.

​

Now, I am in a place in my life where I feel like I need to help, in any way I know how. All I know is to use design thinking. I have started a project to try and understand a bit more of what could be happening in the mind of people feeling stuck in their life and am hoping it will lead to product that could be beneficial for people like my brother. I have started with creating 2 surveys to get a bit more insight.

I know it may be a lot to ask and if you don't feel up for it, you of course can ignore it.

But if you would like to share your thoughts with me, please do and if you have the time answer the survey below, it would be highly appreciated. They are super short and to the point.

[https://aisab.typeform.com/to/PwLldI](https://aisab.typeform.com/to/PwLldI)

​

[https://aisab.typeform.com/to/xCXogI](https://aisab.typeform.com/to/xCXogI)

​

Finding meaning in life is not easy. Maybe forming a habit that you may not instantly enjoy, will bring you joy in the long term. The only times my brother has been completely happy has been when he has achieved something he didn't think he could. But it's so much easier said then done to try and push yourself out of your comfort zone.",7.074861111111115,7.285785171296297,6.636700000000001,78.25830000000002,64.18518518518519,8.578666666666669,31.168888888888887,7.976525956113202,1.9876882222222216,1822,60,348,18,25,567,211,432,0.115,0.777,0.108,0.0949,1,1,2,0,0,0,84.0,1,8,2,8,12,22,0,5,23,0,55,8,0,5,2,78,90,31,0,12,11,3,5,4,1,6,6,2,0,1,18,22,2,1,22,4,2,6,10,7,1,0,14,9,34,15,62,62,16,49,0,1,2,0,43,25,0,12,21,243,52,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900197736476764,0.0,0.053278884594360164,0.0,0.2887466563892949,0.3238199609598839,0.04530634600937671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607272843024076,0.0,0.0,0.054825562303256484,0.0,0.06228409088108342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547147466702764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985359767587536,0.0,0.0,0.15958061732373235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817909416792269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987701346013435,0.0,0.0,0.22491028385481387,0.13474761572096836,0.047595927217419384,0.0,0.0,0.2435711256262265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05147324330422117,0.0,0.03480809149869105,0.0,0.037863738410834166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891504686256645,0.07092208201947263,0.05968167702826022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931281582300493,0.07039151209133689,0.0,0.06617228706368032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611366234757109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984379706769314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823493972825611,0.13019574116293026,0.0,0.0,0.11791961380236972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992305692766688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338647616002383,0.1451453064480887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727086362621296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04897602628290311,0.0494005698141265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392715993997627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050670264948308896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214688769819062,0.06359978361227771,0.13856528758767936,0.0,0.0696075024597597,0.07313272772035621,0.06298085526250898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697513935407225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04268079676766896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337431897906015,0.052981776452503314,0.0,0.0,0.05309039910253312,0.06065164115615506,0.13900593081309898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258023474337843,0.0,0.0,0.0943130818506719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929894567400647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618991541971172,0.0,0.0,0.08537945070493662,0.06545736807725665,0.05289171210205199,0.15539507365304528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093225791667056,0.0724673667669781,0.0,0.06935753770376496,0.0,0.11508283273334828,0.0,0.05497146363282998,0.0,0.05288272823441291,0.0,0.0,0.0599026352749373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700557723326757,0.0,0.0,0.0946550158032098,0.0,0.3238199609598839,0.04290342673815365
mentalhealth,The_True_Zephos,2019/03/06,"Anxiety... I normally don't have a problem with anxiety that affects my life in any significant way, but I have been super anxious about a new job that I will be getting. It's a pretty big deal, and I know I will be getting an offer soon, but it has been a month now and it is taking a really long time. I was hoping to get it today, but didn't, and it kinda made my anxiety about it all go through the roof.

​

It has been stressful worrying about how to make the commute (I have to buy another car) and the possibility of selling my house and moving my family closer, and then I have to study a ton to get ready for the new job. Anyway the uncertainty has been difficult... I don't really let myself believe that it will happen until it does.

​

Is there something I could do to help me with my anxiety in the short term? I don't think I really need a therapist or anything since this is just a temporary situation.

​

Thanks.",5.776623376623378,5.716596089947089,7.156411736411741,74.35735930735932,66.93650793650794,10.682251082251083,32.525733525733536,10.436869588844218,3.339334391534392,747,29,144,18,11,257,106,189,0.095,0.767,0.138,0.8867,2,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,1,15,0,27,1,0,4,1,26,41,13,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,13,8,0,0,2,0,2,3,4,3,0,0,7,0,19,3,17,27,3,20,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,3,11,110,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33412458142858203,0.3747098244076924,0.06990194142615294,0.1077861533870288,0.3145417490408061,0.11612546309289802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458888394983273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158111461196744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207087930245799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597382092537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995378728837371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690295046962184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481786878986908,0.0,0.05841894254772896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089843957077992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889916943392853,0.0,0.0,0.10209544008255796,0.0,0.11860792345951808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20400997917297928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05649167901749715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051115686476424,0.07260488051155277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909674986292414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972640761887802,0.0686143173738658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204742531887499,0.10925140418621976,0.0,0.07621880910128942,0.0,0.1985539007772288,0.0,0.0,0.10071412849344877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115882297389691,0.0,0.10457620376637697,0.0,0.09835785977456372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19755315657486486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503043011287273,0.11554227768530052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791341411535221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774764704527327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728663276022671,0.0,0.0,0.09463686883334356,0.0,0.11934918974900535,0.0,0.0658648278647146,0.0,0.0,0.05993871881744658,0.0,0.09743459687914999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159133757403515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439005139977743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747098244076924,0.0
mentalhealth,cjh00,2019/03/06,"I feel... I am currently a 20 year old college kid with medical school aspirations. Some days I feel like I could take on the entire world and nothing could stop me. Most days I feel like the world is going to destroy me. I have never gotten lower than an A in my life. This success has come fairly easily until this school year when things have gotten tougher. I have become consumed with worrisome thoughts. These thoughts flash through my mind constantly and I cannot get them out of my mind unless I am preoccupied. These include thoughts such as
-Did I turn off the stove?
-Did I lock the door?
-Did I leave the water running?
-Did I turn that HW assignment in (after check minutes earlier if I had in fact)
-I am constantly washing my hands
-Did I skip a page on that test?
-What if I don’t get enough volunteer hours for med school?
-What if she’s pregnant?

The potential consequences of these thoughts has overtaken me and controlled my life as of lately. When I am alone these small, seemingly unimportant things are all I can think about. Around others I am generally happy, however, these thoughts have created so much anxiety that thoughts of suicide have come at times.  Help me.",3.1229729729729736,5.975848018018018,3.3939207207207214,86.54612432432434,80.08108108108108,7.155603603603604,26.44756756756757,8.238735603445708,2.053790054054055,948,39,175,20,25,292,133,222,0.081,0.8029999999999999,0.116,0.7755,3,1,0,0,0,1,33.0,0,0,1,2,6,5,1,0,10,0,25,6,1,1,3,36,46,13,1,5,4,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,2,1,15,9,1,2,11,0,1,4,3,1,0,0,14,4,31,4,25,30,6,33,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,6,19,122,46,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227762161067273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293154832157973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650578387376052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972772186866408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186767166588278,0.0,0.2343002939016593,0.12158838700312237,0.17310935959177468,0.0,0.0,0.13982791967196734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201407191168064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644424810924058,0.1548928801873772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132770356889864,0.0,0.061610560398633135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540194923296974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266335634809833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675968891844216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228854048259125,0.1147880385502682,0.0,0.0,0.1531430450778148,0.1059249946152742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041644993504333,0.10920929282559977,0.0,0.0,0.21892162688959893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969208937183153,0.0,0.08361065553701028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040200549100566,0.0,0.11375558266433332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291429596344897,0.0,0.09869024448093823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063364170058086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858036352623708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150905422142114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404243872360634,0.06946323877720255,0.0,0.5163813442338007,0.06321336701536275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358327658343043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139621932503263
mentalhealth,haylz27,2019/03/06,"How can I get my depressed father to shower? He's 59 years old, 75ish KG and suffers from several health problems including multiple heart attacks, depression and bipolar. And he has a sore knee which gives him another excuse not to move.

My dad mostly just lies around watching TV. He doesn't help around the house while my mum goes to work apart from stacking the dishwasher sometimes.

It's usually dad and I at home and I do the washing and clean some days. 

The problem I want advice with is.......he rarely showers. And by rarely I mean sometimes he doesn't shower for over 2 weeks. Staying in the same clothes most of the time. 

What made me post this was, I can smell him in the other room! It is that bad.

I said to him just now Hey dad, why don't you go have a shower? And he told me he showered today which is obviously not true if he still smells like that. 

I feel like I'll embarrass him by telling him he should have a shower so I try to do it nicely.. but what way can I approach him? I don't want to make him feel bad.",1.8077142857142867,3.836790771428575,2.833571428571428,93.44892857142858,79.38095238095238,5.914285714285715,22.880952380952376,6.961326702584282,0.5906952380952379,802,26,175,9,20,255,127,210,0.139,0.8170000000000001,0.044,-0.955,6,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,1,8,13,1,1,10,0,16,6,2,3,2,34,28,13,0,6,6,5,2,2,0,1,4,1,9,0,11,11,0,0,3,1,0,3,6,9,0,0,4,6,24,4,19,23,4,24,0,3,1,0,28,8,0,4,12,103,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070218991613515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509826663781403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563574766821081,0.0,0.1638057196821611,0.0,0.0,0.24044585111221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928595448323186,0.0,0.2480311610810887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560805864008758,0.1028641660814915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522713631662789,0.13812521499302546,0.0818309906762936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305118675572715,0.0,0.17062499718047394,0.09651128633397968,0.0,0.14443045458093176,0.0,0.0,0.16614138249456695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068931025242312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624374842525794,0.09611227660777537,0.0,0.0,0.1568437866566126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530351329113896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510898775169707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789950905747014,0.0,0.0,0.2755517561645905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696437602706532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162664048221541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848131635787535,0.0,0.0,0.1534707220957035,0.1149880080235847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585076977981394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839598343755048,0.0,0.13648260719974478,0.13758551420349113,0.0,0.09775755466860696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858106762716426,0.0,0.1698542365740982,0.11428998357565705,0.11549748919685544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992565009886514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482407204478036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272274901377203
mentalhealth,JustThrowitAway86,2019/03/06,"Looking for advice/Guidance I live in New Brunswick Canada and over the summer I was diagnosed with ADHD on my first appointment with my psychiatrist and I was prescribed Vivans. Due to the doctor canceling and my phone calls going unanswered I was ultimately told it would be +3 months before I seen a doctor again after my initial appointment. In the mean time I'm once again struggling in school, in the past I've dropped out of university and 2 other collage programs because I couldn't keep up with the workload as well as other anxiety and financial related issues. I'm am seeing a counselor now, second appointments next week. However I was wondering what my other options are. I know I'm going to need more then just counseling as I struggle to even do my readings without getting distracted or mentally wandering off within a few sentences. 

​

Side note; I am beyond broke. The main issue I  went to the counselor/psychiatrist about was my spending and binge eating. It's getting to the point that my rent and way of life is severely being affected",7.056590007930218,8.463713144329898,7.382577319587632,68.71281919111817,64.4639175257732,10.092942109436956,37.088025376685174,10.214889679676881,4.298540523394132,866,43,130,20,13,282,129,194,0.078,0.892,0.029,-0.8344,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,3,11,0,14,5,0,1,0,23,31,12,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,7,11,1,1,3,1,2,3,2,4,1,2,8,3,19,1,28,19,3,32,0,1,3,0,3,13,0,3,14,99,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161035739160313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471698552634486,0.1735100549369664,0.0,0.0,0.10923683995137208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704575423447225,0.0,0.12150697739138396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580840012598564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493266644624675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923109398603412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461136708600627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431393555464168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146030419665835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149207698013083,0.0,0.16230597551326728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29807918490595553,0.0,0.12692165997157553,0.0,0.0,0.07847571927398479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008594596592017,0.0,0.0,0.1260895112560954,0.0,0.1199107996971076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554427232341375,0.0,0.0,0.14390253041905024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397662148584753,0.0,0.0,0.10587976796684752,0.0,0.1379111087610118,0.15186278982999835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207070023429695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631280685519648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349862636532013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428324077661806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451491432948402,0.11378814372776948,0.0,0.0,0.16131631066262295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985580956147741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326419312308564,0.0,0.0,0.13644556246195727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334304474585948,0.11454054569364612,0.0,0.12838874424681987,0.13237125143534414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13764809457098226,0.15485374777646044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143659423212008,0.0,0.1735100549369664,0.0
mentalhealth,SnailsAreHuman,2019/03/06,"i don’t know whats wrong with me but i know it’s not normal. mood swings, some days ill be good and other days ill feel like utter *shit*.
some days I’ll be not tired at all, and others ill be so tired I can hardly fucking function. 
some days ill not be hungry at all, some days i can’t stop eating. 
 
all i ask for is for a bit of schedule. but there isn’t. everything is so hectic and i can’t help but fall deeper into a pit of self-loathing, ive had to bathe with the lights off because i’d resort to self-mutilation whenever I saw myself. 
  
every aspect and everything i do *makes me so angry* and ill often spend every day fantasizing suicide and self-harm, and it takes every inch of self control i have to not ravage my skin with a blade. 
 
im so afraid of others and i know i should stay away because im an annoying person, i love talking to people but i have *no social skills* and often end up so awkward and seen as annoying, i can’t avoid this because it just keeps happening. 
 
i feel no desire for relationships at all, and i know i should at my age. 
 
people touch me so often and it *scares me* because i hate it so fuckign much, i am so lost to the contact and people seem to be so natural at doing what’s.. right. 
 
i hate myself in every way possible and it’s only getting worse, and i.. im too afraid to get help or ask for it because the last time I did, my parents fought eachother about it and then they promptly forgot *a week later*. 
 
they haven’t done anything to stop my self harm, and i hate myself because i feel like i just have them a burden they don’t want. 
 
but, i know i have something *something* wrong with me and i know what im doing isn’t normal. 
 
*and i know if i don’t get help soon im going to lose the inner battle and snap, ill probably end up dead by the end of the month and i don’t know how how to stop it by myself.*
",-0.1884039859951514,1.950347693670885,2.2061405871263133,94.21455426878536,88.51898734177216,4.576892001077296,17.26501481281982,6.01570014992238,-0.3735553460813361,1429,35,319,12,47,486,169,395,0.239,0.6659999999999999,0.095,-0.9967,1,1,2,0,0,1,50.0,0,0,4,4,20,25,9,5,12,0,32,13,2,4,4,78,65,41,2,7,13,1,6,2,0,2,8,0,1,3,16,26,1,7,12,1,1,2,16,20,0,0,8,9,49,4,38,50,10,39,0,2,2,2,19,14,2,10,23,209,65,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056796364764055175,0.0,0.12904600686492035,0.0,0.06484517555876408,0.0,0.0,0.25243831094809016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535035292709401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741014380014756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26706743059609417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062991310923954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062318088290355,0.0,0.0,0.1833897803186348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23260433396970676,0.0,0.12405879865502208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469351902734993,0.09861369514356652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380651359324277,0.10817799098338686,0.0,0.039224817909159305,0.05788946364615333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06103285312769105,0.0,0.06182704117977213,0.2044245114794397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878498603069409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727592495722692,0.0,0.0,0.06134683563398849,0.0,0.0,0.3034462078506272,0.056259309108542266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743792945446067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721407447027777,0.07534187236066478,0.0,0.06229191287077049,0.0,0.0460704009277857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0550899276449387,0.0,0.050736556755615725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524699964596593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249169784665452,0.0,0.0,0.07663690347659881,0.0,0.0,0.14354626358293798,0.06026431327622121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780801595804274,0.0,0.0,0.07441364263262475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741000656685589,0.0,0.05894144266686415,0.0,0.0,0.06909958323307777,0.0,0.0,0.06283187239538725,0.36000686628429,0.0,0.07084652340172448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035569384654164,0.0,0.10626766393823688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356456372872819,0.0,0.17310773035403895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549506345703938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051893340834698334,0.055474475481081136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0402452565689935,0.1586532813641097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04070891385803785,0.05478369206514665,0.055362497084178584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033577270958964,0.0,0.15092184329040845,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LordWombatius,2019/03/06,"Am I depressed? I don't know if im depressed or not.
I often feel powerless and don't want to do anything. I often feel unfoused and have issues to focus on something. Sometimes i feel like i am packed in cotten(I don't know how to say it better)

Everytime something bad happens I think to my self that if its getting wors i just could killmyself.
I even got planes on how to do it.

I don't know how to start and online I just get confused, do i go to my normal doctor? Should i Just call a therapist?. I am from Germany and if somebody got experience i am thankfull for every tip.
",0.17875000000000085,2.5486603750000008,2.379999999999999,91.3575,91.08333333333334,4.333333333333334,23.333333333333336,5.985473137389443,0.5705833333333334,455,19,92,4,16,153,67,120,0.127,0.8270000000000001,0.046,-0.8416,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,1,1,0,14,1,0,3,0,29,29,11,0,7,8,0,3,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,2,4,17,2,12,25,0,5,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,7,2,66,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146921715299658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907192843565836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579025174756076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18230745049207545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425482143779032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307549357358121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18274139950385435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792278854979582,0.0,0.15042612267058322,0.0,0.0,0.17464460548562522,0.0,0.0,0.2708228151599997,0.12754771632584933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865576674255604,0.0,0.10146736597440928,0.0,0.2855865955206117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788072895868616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285187905417225,0.1863474813454042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943597548703015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722473975990491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492951582081862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198073214403598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186254266567486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748948375754925,0.1765788319580174,0.0,0.1263702475503358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072965957081043,0.0,0.11440006104749792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530644834146427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DreamOnElmStreet,2019/03/06,"Can’t stop thinking how I might have been rude to a Lil Caesar’s worker. Anxiety! Not sure if this post belongs in this tag but ugh I’ve been having anxiety thinking about this moment for the past 4-ish hours and I’d like your guys’ opinion. 

Today I picked up a pizza at lil Caesars and I noticed how hot it was in there! So I said to the worker, “wow it’s so hot in here!” And she said “sure is!” So I said...

“Must sucks to work in that for so long!”

Ughhhhh. I meant it like.. I was empathizing? But it just sounded like.. idk so rude. She just kinda laughed it off but I left feeling like an asshole. 

I’ve had a tight feeling in my chest ever since. Just wanted to write about it somewhere, get it off my chest! ",-0.31270575768279585,1.8936968322147685,1.644259978806076,97.24170611091488,90.74496644295307,4.210667608618863,18.58036029671495,5.750287758089431,-0.37292751677852376,544,16,124,4,19,179,87,149,0.157,0.726,0.117,-0.5068,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,3,15,12,3,0,6,0,11,3,2,3,4,30,22,14,0,3,8,0,5,4,0,2,0,4,0,1,11,3,1,2,5,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,9,9,13,8,17,11,0,18,0,0,0,0,8,10,1,4,11,79,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26455389390394696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564084962419242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485866185901147,0.12352812476342415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033920591115907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120972896217526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028315512589193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786902499421784,0.0,0.0,0.3379036127308567,0.0,0.0,0.15302137827144635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343194671734345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686107145486376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506374524644013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560157349811194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4934357563336175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430343123307906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456189059444222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32593438726717405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22158962027852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639000360616449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198777731060926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258817481638795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eighty6that,2019/03/06,"I think I am ‘losing my mind’. I feel an obsessive notion that I am actually going crazy. I’m scared. I had a trigger episode back in November that I didn’t even think was one until I realized why. I realized it the next time I saw my mother. I had a physically abusive childhood with a single, mentally unstable (yet in denial) parent who treated me like the result of her failed relationship with my father. I’ve only realized this in hindsight of course.

 

I saw a woman being beaten in the street at 5am in a **very**, very risky area to be at that time before dawn, because I had an appointment. I didn’t see the guy starting to brutalize her when they got to what appeared to be their destination (it was obvious they were a couple). I was already 3 blocks from my car and my damn phone was in none other than *the car*. That’s a safety red flag: a huge one. I told people nearby, but that was all I could do. I had no description. I digress— I had flashbacks of this to the point of sleeplessness and when I saw my mother a few days later, the flashbacks were no longer about that guy beating a helpless woman who was pleading for him to stop. 

 

The flashbacks went from nightmares to memories of my mother. Nasty memories. Fucked up memories. And it’s unknown whether it’s mutually exclusive from the abuse or not, but I suffered from childhood depression. Observed by insiders as well as outsiders. I am bipolar. However, despite the memories of my mother— physical, somewhat sexual, and after about age 13, psychological abuse until 6 years ago. I’m 26. She’s okay *now*, and I appreciate financial assistance because I’m not healthy, but I left that house at 18. And she’s mainly nice *when I agree with her*. 

 

10 years of therapy. Brought her in to bullshit and cry like she meant it to revert back in a week. Inpatient psych hospitalization sessions, initial improper diagnoses because of what an excellent manipulator she is. Water works on, situation in her favor? Water works off. Could happen in minutes. She’s always right— *always*. 

 

Lately the thoughts and the nightmares and flashbacks have me walking back and forth in my apartment not remembering what I was doing and my fingernails are fucking gone from the anxiety. I’m going through dab pens and concentrates like water— not cheap. I use my anxiety meds as instructed (usually, except for those intolerable days...). 

 

I can hear her voice in my head. The taunting, name calling, slaps, head hits. I can hear the belt whips on my naked body. I can hear the rocks on her ring finger holding me down and punching me in the face repeatedly for things like talking too much in class, expressing frustration about anything, and plenty of white lies to hide from her abuse in the first place. I can remember the look on my grandmother’s face when we showed up at her door while I was battered, and that sending me to school was for her legal protection.

 

I had a really bad episode the other night and started having chest pains. Bad chest pains. I have medical experience, so I knew it was anxiety, not cardiac. I went on a frenzy; I started writing post-it’s if any and every little thing I could remember that’s been screaming in my head. Every demeaning name she called me. Every time she beat me, the time she told me she would’ve told people she never had a daughter after I woke up in ICU after a near-death suicide attempt. I wrote something like 25 post-its and started putting them in arbitrary places for the police to see if they found me dead, so there weren’t any questions— and for her to see eventually. The wine urged me to go to sleep...

 

I occasionally dissociate or zone out and have this mental notion that I’m there— as an adult, watching myself. 

 

I feel fucking crazy. 8 years of atypical antipsychotics have not helped, because now I have spasmodic torticollis, and they never helped to begin with. That’s always the physican’s #1 answer. It’s a no-go. 

 

What the fuck. I’m waking up dizzy and feeling hungover after not drinking anything at all in days. I feel a sense of fear waking up every day the last few weeks. And I have a lot going on aside from this, but I don’t know what to do with it. I want to jump off my 7th story roof. 

_____________________
TLDR: long abuse history—>triggering event witnessed—>acknowledgement—>personal trauma flashbacks—> losing my fucking mind and acting peculiarly.


Edits: typos. Really fucking terrible day. 



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mentalhealth,Whistory,2019/03/06,"""Mom would be sad"" is an actual thing I don't know whats happening to me, idk if it's hormones or something else bit usually (for about a year or so now) I've been having a lot of really bad mood swings. Even for a 16 year old.

I can one hour be happy, energetic, have a decent self-esteem (not good bu better than usual) and almost feel invincible but then the other hour I'll feel horrible, devastated, worthless and all that bad feelings stuff.

And it's gotten bad to almost feeling suicidal. But not really. I can't feel suicidal

If I ever start to feel suicidal I feel really selfish. I think about how my mother would suffer and I start to almost cry (I never cry, even tough I want to). How my dogs wouldn't have anyone to pet and walk them, how I want to see my sister grow up, how my cousin wouldn't have me to waste his time with. The amount of resources and the struggle my mother went through to raise me, the fact I never kissed

I think about how if I got shot I couldn't let myself die, I would stay strong until I couldn't

I may be sad, my mood may swing(if anyone can help me with that I'd thank you lol), but I won't die on the people who care

If you're suicidal, please don't die.
Don't die on me, I care and I want you to know, even tough it may not look like they do, someone carea",3.08826028708134,3.7286917781818185,4.55800956937799,88.16311961722488,73.03636363636362,7.825837320574162,22.110047846889948,8.032893268588372,0.7975090909090907,1009,21,229,14,19,338,142,275,0.256,0.5710000000000001,0.173,-0.9905,0,1,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,2,2,14,22,0,1,10,1,28,1,0,5,5,59,53,24,8,14,12,5,7,1,0,9,0,0,1,0,10,9,0,0,11,0,0,3,14,11,0,1,4,9,37,9,25,34,4,23,0,4,2,1,12,3,0,13,17,146,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.084744372054145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608764075956439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144261167771235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175260360442769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680388268116296,0.09480797325589682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770805477737427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19078170841901348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605093434665497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254458337385843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207315301885287,0.07855273319449532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3073662332690135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283818201187532,0.06945474881699126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679328473298465,0.0924439498636461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058207748792935936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104195198490307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954511785311126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880089315068762,0.0,0.042426167654037464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292463997517892,0.0,0.0,0.07382918506249235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170722927269753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395439678278395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112511054126204,0.0,0.05884576671042545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06020467407729749,0.0,0.0,0.0953254335217634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166897868372542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692011014500111,0.0,0.09059419106807498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358016957239792,0.06685450996076411,0.0,0.0,0.12293313396659213,0.09256104211380714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907851573393669,0.09941226586103673,0.37996020876571424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995160366749864,0.0,0.0,0.05769335818028847,0.11128852165092566,0.0,0.0,0.050637735063585376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912863727836904,0.0,0.15366336585299553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805025558862919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850682457302659,0.0,0.0,0.11184562318042282
mentalhealth,thatknifegirl,2019/03/06,"Is there such a thing as a ‘normal’ mind? I’ve asked some of my friends what they think about when they get massages or do other relaxing activities and several of them answered nothing. 

When I questioned that they could just make their brain stop and relax, they said it wasn’t really something they had to think about, it just naturally happens for them.

My mind is constantly going, even when I beg it to just stop and be still. I’ve had extreme bouts of anxiety during a massage simply because I wasn’t sure that I really did book the right day for my plane ticket (spoiler alert: of course I did). 

My mental health has been pretty strained to say the least the last few minutes/days/months/years. I remember being unable to sleep when I was six because I was constantly agonizing that I had done something mildly embarrassing, days and weeks later. I get irate with my loving, supportive partner because he started doing the dishes while I was serving dinner, or because he got the wrong kind of something and now dinner has to be ruined, etc. I get irrationally angry for things that should be mild annoyances at worst. I constantly worry, about everything and anything. It never ends.

I’ve always just assumed everyone feels like this, or at least some variation of it. This might be a stupid question, but are there really people out there with normal minds?

(PS. I am in the US, not sure if I’d be breaking the rules or not without including that tidbit so I’m including it just in case). 
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mentalhealth,random275892164,2019/03/06,"Watched a girl have a seizure... Haven’t been the same since So story time (Sorta Long)

I am a senior in high school and go to Younglife (Christian organization that reaches out to high schoolers) every week for club and am very religious. There is Younglife all over the country and sometimes gets a bad reputation because people get high before the club starts (the club is supposed to be singing songs and playing games for an hour or so, then having a person talk about Jesus for the last 15 minutes).  Anyway, I am one of the few seniors that go and it has been one of the best experiences of my high school career. 

This past Monday, it was a normal club and we were about halfway through when a freshman girl fell into her friend’s lap and started seizing up. I have never seen this happen to anyone if it shook me up. Luckily we had kids who have jobs as lifeguards there, so they were able to stabilize her before the ambulance got there. The girl used a dab pen before the club started (it wasn’t her first time) and was foaming our the mouth during her seizing up. Anyway, she is fine now (this happened two days ago) but I have had a little spell of depression come back to me after being gone for over a year. 

I keep replaying the image of her shaking uncontrollably and her eyes rolling to the back of her head. This happened to me before when I got in a car accident and kept replaying the crash in my dreams, so nothing new for me. I just keep thinking about how she would’ve died if she didn’t come to the club that night. My girlfriend has helped me over the past few days to talk, but it doesn’t feel like I’m ever getting everything out. 

I’m scared because the last time I had a bad case of depression it led to me contemplating suicide and I don’t want that to happen again. 

I’m sure I’ll get over it, but if anyone reads this it’ll make me feel a lot better to get this off my chest. ",5.810863636363639,5.711659660526317,5.8342583732057465,83.99844497607657,66.86842105263158,8.488038277511961,30.16746411483253,7.84624498591911,1.7988421052631594,1501,49,308,15,22,473,192,380,0.116,0.8240000000000001,0.06,-0.9814,1,0,0,0,0,1,35.0,3,0,1,3,21,15,0,4,31,0,30,4,4,4,4,45,62,27,2,5,8,0,2,1,2,1,0,1,0,5,19,18,0,3,3,12,0,10,6,8,0,4,16,6,34,7,45,43,6,62,2,2,3,0,26,19,0,6,34,206,53,8,0.08842079213633205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783796972235439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365174749508412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598026252612816,0.14765533618976473,0.10780098838837372,0.0,0.30095832643581405,0.0,0.09279216621771527,0.07820100520512888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152333366226907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404819211661806,0.0,0.15231339740553376,0.0,0.0917668223947736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998166867319646,0.07449833093235406,0.0,0.0794669065665455,0.0864925013291116,0.0,0.0,0.08941641850333983,0.06316783156950527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521068062138145,0.0,0.0,0.0683136846672718,0.0,0.2309810722881069,0.0,0.1005031476580638,0.0,0.14143636972901566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127608578880322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907452421310256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05926659313867767,0.3736856861215653,0.0,0.0,0.08707666924205736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774399264326269,0.15718492548152813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414949391406018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043197932731085416,0.0886208626961703,0.0,0.07824961860059193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517219551686036,0.0,0.0,0.059021565349704964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819556586446893,0.08539735203009995,0.0,0.08297692363122006,0.0866336027818411,0.0848421347767619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198324341993305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16881530223060806,0.06129984405132863,0.07720562514450291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844472005842945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852463806037245,0.1789731244055316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314259297042808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745042433663303,0.0,0.1877540753202461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671799532185954,0.0,0.08333555017140068,0.0,0.0,0.1421385667982119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566564733258571,0.0,0.0,0.1546766248676095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863742658735961,0.0,0.0,0.07636717487858029,0.0,0.0729564136869453,0.05215287410573816,0.0,0.0709258259918023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281159381718839,0.0,0.0,0.056940091146253285
mentalhealth,an_anonymous_coward,2019/03/06,"Feeling a bit lost... stonewalled on changing ADHD meds by my doctor. My doctor switched me from Adderall to Vyvanse about 18 months ago out of a concern the Adderall may have been exacerbating the emotional turmoil I was experiencing at the time. Despite my  later complaints that Vyvanse was not effective for me, my doctor has resisted my requests to further change medications (either back to Adderall, or something else).

Even after 18 months of just trying to deal with things as they are, I feel like I'm losing my mind. The emotional stuff that prompted the change was bad, but this is on a whole new level. I've been laid off twice for performance reasons, my stable financial situation has snowballed into a massive amount of credit card debt, and for the past 1.5 years I've been having panic attacks every weekend as I feel hamstrung, unable to take on any of the projects or tasks I used to. I feel like I did pre-ADHD diagnosis, except now I know how enabling medication can be, while feeling stuck with a medication that is only slightly better than nothing.

My doctor is aware of all this, but after surfacing my complaints recently, I feel like I'm being stonewalled. At this point I don't know what to think or do. I know I'm going to be biased in this situation, and I know Adderall has some addictive properties that may have influenced that bias. But I'm having a hard time telling the difference between that and a legitimate concern that this is simply not working. Any advice?",9.751032167832168,8.52220004727273,9.265818181818183,66.30857342657346,59.43636363636364,11.516083916083915,41.517482517482534,10.389873798559362,4.461995804195803,1203,56,195,21,13,387,155,275,0.098,0.8029999999999999,0.099,-0.1282,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,7,6,11,1,2,15,0,27,8,0,5,1,39,47,13,0,0,11,0,7,3,0,2,8,0,0,0,15,7,0,0,13,1,2,1,3,6,0,1,9,8,23,5,37,33,6,30,0,2,0,0,4,13,0,6,19,139,38,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355141003054592,0.2283152687491963,0.092821594899883,0.08420151233715667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291907800224853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806305263396428,0.0,0.07304023974504638,0.07931137177252896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400954759722905,0.10370276428474802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30145549326054843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792890088593063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924269258364248,0.0,0.3888987343593137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935064500797748,0.21369839836965188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627389624677922,0.0,0.08003184948785345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881740271698225,0.20357926112070196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398411404497967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509097607137897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881262889559146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921964722913838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626775659569576,0.10369109269799033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055107326426653,0.287072551224492,0.0,0.0,0.0959112366163674,0.0,0.15163771791631953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917404180576886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114396088749298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224298171456177,0.0,0.1114484567551287,0.0,0.0,0.09067720504795207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897947697676041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766392682326233,0.09378961559886154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135419514135815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312673449015264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873902710454343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714194782569329,0.0,0.08302407501477503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310609243821029,0.060864750780052164,0.0,0.0,0.11077703536682022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449090908436553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203950570711123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605119038663112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915270868844496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116943490424592
mentalhealth,lastpattern,2019/03/06,"Is there a way to leave (the world) that isn't shameful or gruesome? I'm considering taking control of my life at some point, certain actions are making sense to me. But my family and the community and everyone would be hurt and be judgmental, everyone would know me as the person who offed themselves, I wish I could go quietly. But I feel guilty. And proper methods are usually gruesome, you leave your body behind, ugly and dead to be judged, i can't just pop out of existence, i leave a physical body behind and affect other people. they have to deal with it. i wish it was simpler. 

does anyone have advice for me? if it helps i'll say i'm not serious, it's hypothetical, but i need to know. how do you kill yourself with dignity? with pride? because even if i see it as an action that takes control of my life others will see it differently. and i don't want to leave behind pain, if it was selfish and egotistical then i'd just do it without a thought, but it's not, it's a rational decision i'm arriving at after thinking long and hard about certain things. and I wish I could leave in a dignified manner that wouldn't have people being anguished and hurt because of me, angry, have to deal with my body and all the bullshit that comes with it, how it would hurt my family's reputation even though i never claim it's their fault. I wish I could leave without the community seeing me as a coward, a loser, selfish, self-centered, weak. I wish I could leave without people pitying me or seeing what happened to me as sad, a tragedy, pathetic, instead of a decision i arrive at as an autonomous individual who's given it a lot of thought and decided it was the best action to take. but no, the social stigma, everything about it, makes it so much harder to do. and the legacy i leave behind due to it is what i'll be defined as by people, what my identity will be. people can't understand and agree, wish me the best and respect my decision. i have to stay alive for other people even though i'm not happy (and won't ever be, and it's not just happiness, there's no meaning or goal anymore and won't ever be, this is my circumstance) i'm not doing anything useful and i'm worthless (really), it's still frowned upon for me to off myself. 

is this post going to get removed and i'll be judged for rule breaking or given some hotline number? or can people answer my question? how do i do it with dignity?",5.7683502689778825,5.764036907949794,6.990451285116558,75.35059623430965,66.94979079497908,9.757441721458461,32.13419007770472,9.516144504307137,2.9075855349671245,1894,72,357,35,28,645,206,478,0.221,0.6609999999999999,0.118,-0.9953,1,0,1,0,0,0,61.0,0,3,2,7,20,24,1,2,21,0,46,7,3,9,6,101,85,47,2,19,24,0,2,0,0,8,4,2,0,1,36,29,0,2,14,0,0,7,18,16,0,0,7,8,44,8,55,57,7,29,0,7,4,0,14,9,0,12,9,270,80,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05851224026549553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059383040226025974,0.04186819835786197,0.0,0.04927461978668148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300233529166161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256768594043025,0.0,0.0,0.19953339561666614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05157972873745705,0.0,0.0,0.1343168852172246,0.19123133841489776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346349755687495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625599277766355,0.0,0.0,0.05239977713425549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864687037158385,0.1083264389493667,0.0,0.11443228664635345,0.05381462493518069,0.0,0.1128955914214467,0.0,0.030276194410404637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03128386471644351,0.0,0.06806027099462697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052950054899757085,0.12748281929729627,0.05363906579804235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040135065258556216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19230241073875995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624630705084293,0.0,0.06581493630650811,0.0,0.0,0.5072185651371719,0.0,0.0,0.0845874236616235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299028310338881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090626629471639,0.0,0.0,0.07993826712562073,0.0,0.0,0.06522486490417748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04401733374669334,0.044398893373354655,0.04618172466755858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371457886511409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905838142084237,0.0522832955194797,0.0,0.0,0.05660421100169575,0.0,0.057346720838346174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067077237592503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03835947949401323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04761751235454248,0.0,0.0,0.1908605489994299,0.0,0.06246597482231717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06103823860062455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06382214640962823,0.04781877209684532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506276236408188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03978038566288181,0.0383675040833241,0.11765996694764785,0.09507313356056282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062335271288051164,0.0,0.05171550084196014,0.06594732843952245,0.0,0.03531768733116298,0.04752849250537145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4131415404725303,0.17316121459057368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760717041460573,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MentalHealthIsLife,2019/03/06,"I feel like i have no passion in life and im confident if i found mine, i'd be content I've had depression ever since i came out of education because i had the sudden realization that i'm gonna have to get work and I've always hated the idea of every job that doesn't give me any meaning apart from earning. Frankly, i'd rather be dead than working an unfulfilling job.

​

Thing is as well i know i have a lot of potential (in the most humble way haha) and i know i can get what ever i set my mind to. But i'm scared if i commit to something that im not passionate about ill drop out of it and be back at square one again.

​

I've looked at jobs like fire man or a nurse because it's a huge meaningful job. But i'm still unsure. I'm pretty sure that most of my depression as come from unfulfillment and a bit of loneliness. 

​

Any advice would be much appreciated on how to find my passion. Thank you!",2.4285309278350518,3.9751460154639195,4.223286082474228,86.37967139175258,75.95876288659794,7.32422680412371,25.011597938144327,8.07648339933343,1.3574030927835046,733,25,158,12,16,248,117,194,0.157,0.6659999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.2378,4,0,1,0,0,1,25.0,0,1,0,3,9,13,1,1,8,1,13,5,0,1,4,34,31,13,1,4,7,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,8,9,0,0,8,0,0,2,3,4,1,1,4,4,17,9,23,21,5,20,0,2,2,3,3,9,0,6,8,94,25,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876882981643742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841020793841118,0.3285425296061516,0.3684497352838258,0.13746824949147407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772005013393027,0.0,0.1232281518859662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034717393276887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560229934941475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706673042310592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17411063433051888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285534043241936,0.08515962401299458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051106303222063186,0.07220764168609083,0.0,0.0,0.09238026020564397,0.0,0.0,0.11082297025017092,0.0,0.0,0.10561450719229933,0.09695986864978068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979014142184993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410080560025733,0.21835560498249115,0.0,0.40120337351902063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109580173211164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139190718332883,0.0987597886685063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487712219736869,0.0,0.0,0.08592992388326064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009975950826416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205643004802532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430138593350379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849069578648101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028291015737724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119320525386076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360986935872462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778120867420992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071822479935814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526151835477474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305581812500713,0.0,0.0,0.06714940538495118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022823201426947,0.0,0.0,0.09087811241131187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716687691396915,0.0,0.0,0.07180042352875941,0.0,0.3684497352838258,0.0
mentalhealth,DeRussia,2019/03/06,"Will I ever be able to trust again? I am 20 years old and throughout my entire life being betrayed by loved ones has been reoccurring. I have been cheated on 2 times, and I was in a very abusive sort of dating situation. My mom constantly lies to me and is an alcoholic. I have no dad, honestly, my family is very dysfunctional. I'm in an amazing relationship with the literal girl of my dreams, for the last two years she has shown loyalty, love, and affection. Despite knowing that she wouldn't hurt me I can not stop the paranoid thoughts of being cheated or lied to. Like I said I do trust her, but it's hard for me to not be prepared for the worst. I want to just relax and enjoy our time together. Outside of my romantic life, I have had several falling outs with my friends. I am a very charismatic guy and I make friends super easily, but I constantly cut people out of my life.  In high school  & my freshman year of college, I had a bad habit of befriending really shitty people. After years of being screwed over, im scared that I will never be able to trust again.  How can I fix this?",4.447987711213519,5.429531525345627,5.658451612903228,80.26101075268821,70.15207373271889,9.288970814132105,30.134869431643626,9.558583805096642,2.708481044546851,859,34,170,19,15,287,132,217,0.17800000000000002,0.589,0.233,0.9067,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,1,5,21,4,1,9,0,26,7,0,3,2,27,34,10,0,2,6,2,1,1,2,3,4,1,0,2,4,10,1,1,2,2,0,1,5,8,0,2,7,2,31,13,28,18,1,26,0,1,0,3,14,8,1,2,18,119,35,2,0.2560083441451231,0.15166401250887007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136797531391041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869246696104226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687813694274947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766540713904065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578710201678527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067094135043364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19779141163036665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674425513910087,0.0,0.0,0.11466659559529993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524343571138225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703111364893447,0.0,0.1382664714645767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034774537277848,0.10434048472840028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712393968038593,0.06253637273417641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23105752582406286,0.0,0.08544377882712069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14991693926784516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872470870925744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431884597073862,0.0,0.08673893977037897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17748395137354306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820027503638355,0.0,0.0,0.13742857658182253,0.0,0.0,0.12176128030146385,0.0,0.12815450675299964,0.12954705595402718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446082795029856,0.0,0.0,0.14388205257412973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107017219500071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162101442084463,0.14928052423558896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504147638123184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31685054292371984,0.07550017716213685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32972196013238275
mentalhealth,tannerlord18,2019/03/06,"Can my mother refuse to give me my meds? I'm going to be 18 in less than a month, and my mother has taken my prescription of Vyvanse, which I purchased from the pharmacy with my own money. I am concerned because she has never done this before, and has constantly been trying for a diet medication called Fentramine. I'm concerned that her administering my daily dosage in the morning may simply be a ploy to abuse my medication. Any advice? ",6.844939759036148,7.3530653012048255,7.659903614457833,69.71130120481929,64.66265060240964,9.531566265060242,32.26265060240964,9.3871,3.0457007228915662,352,13,58,6,5,118,60,83,0.084,0.916,0.0,-0.7757,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,10,3,0,0,1,6,15,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,12,0,10,9,2,6,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,3,45,15,0,0.0,0.30188614824057963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24897920974124946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326689091341246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531847411508187,0.0,0.216808717308944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26017050940504965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753389898682775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607400665090901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444191301841274,0.1448038257476382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830158096391874,0.5133510653375515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033720666752911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651083704954644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729866373944446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hipelesswandrer,2019/03/06,"Empty but emotional I need help, i'm getting worse day by day, i used to have those down moments but now they are stretching to days. I look back at myself a couple of months ago when i thought i was in a bad state and I see a much better version tban what is here now.

Honestly, the only thing keeping me from ending everything is the fact that i will cause my famiky so much harm and sadness. ",3.28777777777778,4.438088333333333,4.0972222222222205,89.73250000000004,73.07407407407408,6.881481481481483,25.84567901234568,7.1686216300943375,1.0356567901234568,309,10,66,3,6,99,64,81,0.206,0.652,0.142,-0.7916,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,2,1,10,14,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,11,2,8,11,3,16,0,1,2,0,2,4,0,0,11,46,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19174498420409655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663283618956703,0.1806090805927005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19130783913385388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22220905210533898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393419278505546,0.0,0.4185044642403495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433186464380629,0.1915856770406909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19440469004227845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301258776494626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498744404173075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226548533109386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816451825903249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17265587647752556,0.0,0.3180241852032044,0.16039047219716912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645128335967279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17237036360573438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370616823716176,0.0,0.0,0.17172527991648726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682162931864896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22043747385487672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ktmaverick97,2019/03/06,"I really hate the way I look I hate that i’m chubby compared to my tall thin and gorgeous friends I hate that i’m short I hate my nose I hate that my legs are two different lengths and it causes my hips to look tilted I hate that my one boob is at least a cup or so bigger than the other one I hate everything about the way I look so much that it takes over so much of my life and I really just wish I could look the way I want to look. I tried going vegan (and actually ate vegetables and fruit with some carbs, no junk food) and ended up actually gaining weight and even though my (hereditary) high cholesterol dropped, my bad cholesterol was still higher than my good. I try going to the gym and I can never stay consistent with it. i’m constantly surrounded by size 0,2, or 4 girls and i’m sick of being a size 8. I know it seems trivial but im so extremely envious of the people who can wake up in the morning and generally think they’re an okay looking person. I don’t even want to feel like the sexiest woman on earth, I just want to feel semi comfortable in my own skin is that so much to ask? it’s so extremely hard. half my friends are gorgeous tall model worthy girls and all I feel like is danny devito next to them. ",3.4356032986111096,4.283122464843753,4.89104166666667,85.32756944444445,72.3984375,8.657638888888886,25.159722222222214,8.998388855275968,1.6752602430555559,965,28,210,19,18,324,138,256,0.113,0.7340000000000001,0.153,0.9144,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,13,18,8,0,11,1,11,13,6,1,2,34,43,21,0,5,5,0,7,2,2,0,2,0,0,4,13,13,5,0,6,1,0,2,3,9,0,4,2,15,31,9,24,39,7,26,0,0,6,1,9,14,1,4,7,129,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.17045231561957633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164624024413343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292090249880076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971688782064069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437788280573448,0.0,0.06972972410775348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912462683203379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735270247655304,0.0,0.0,0.11536761154784188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849087876069677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324772833220366,0.12478398426510405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560557592912848,0.0,0.13494928574890905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926874869970692,0.0732522791101209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823481842458824,0.603575175865125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227400169218207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433656099303483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799691712521795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168714567184312,0.08533473485265315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44003537160737705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926033607393328,0.0,0.06735797482946909,0.0,0.09288154100794783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836062923202452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060546947595768424,0.07625737083129562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189780688482344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950631365064034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930872669301221,0.06974567689842201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566489387456173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596060764117671,0.08580598872331813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185891805499934,0.0,0.08531340055437289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545369674744089,0.20796687596045985,0.0,0.1063502472944021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043069953349414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,avisioninblack,2019/03/06,"Suicide prevention line Tried calling twice, no help whatsoever. I see there’s an online chat to talk to someone. I try and there’s 39 people ahead of me. What to do now..",1.382941176470588,3.89186994117647,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,84.88235294117645,5.752941176470588,23.20588235294117,7.1686216300943375,0.9950235294117648,134,5,27,2,4,44,29,34,0.184,0.742,0.07400000000000001,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856188687469146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253128205479093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618122402371527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009350299653538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31997829617091783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.413083514621334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035376123173959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5127937949072081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ted_the_athiest,2019/03/06,"I'm Here Hi. I have battled anxiety, depression, anorexia, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts for years. I understand. If anyone wants to talk, I'm here. I'll give you advice in the comments or just listen. Let me know",0.912961672473866,3.3841681707317086,2.523554006968641,87.40219512195124,99.0,6.245296167247387,25.369337979094077,7.447530270364453,2.0504118466898955,169,8,31,4,7,55,35,41,0.281,0.7190000000000001,0.0,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,10,3,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,3,8,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,2,1,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023424353667517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23669041635270524,0.0,0.0,0.2163399144947612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664860629845103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296805002903217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003833758653294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163828143330995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32277203657974884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384337587120255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24868427669213136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24562931284310816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220966697730478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249233922294536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19924367749665767
mentalhealth,destirino,2019/03/06,"Broke up, broke, and breaking down 👌 how do you stop life from feeling like a tsunami of problems? Hiiiii,

22f, broken up with my girlfriend of 3.5 years.

I’m diagnosed w depression and psychotic features or a schizoaffective disorder but only recently. 

I could go in depth about how this happened but 🤷‍♀️ I’m so sad and scared and overwhelmed. I tried to talk to her before the end of February but she refused to talk to me about our relationship. I explained that I understood it was hard but that there are problems with our relationship that we needed to talk about so we could be better. She didn’t want to. I feel like she just tells me what I’m doing wrong, and I just want to know what she needs. Well, told. I keep thinking in *we* and *us* and it’s breaking me. I don’t know how to stop thinking about it. She won’t talk to me anymore, and so her mom texts my mom. None of this feels real. 

Yesterday I had a terrible panic attack and she called my mom to deal with me, then left. She paid her half of the rent (!!!! Just now) and said I’m on my own. She took the car and the bed. She had been telling me over and over that I couldn’t take “our” cat that I paid for and take care of and feed, but I told her I’m keeping her. I know I’m struggling but I’m always a good cat mom. I’ll have to rehome my best bud Simba because he’s an old boy and I can’t afford his needs, but he was originally my brothers and he will be in good hands. He’s gotten me through the last several years especially and I owe him his best life.

I’m going to get some assistance and counselling tomorrow (as soon as my mom can drive me) and I’m being referred to a psychiatrist and psychologist by my new doctor. 

I’m using my savings to pay my rent and rent for next month so at least that’s something, but I’m hoping assistance comes through fast so I can get my new medication and everything else I need to do 😩

My mom has been a saint and is helping anywhere she can, but particularly with cleaning and hugs and essential oils.
",1.0332057416267943,3.1974865550239286,2.879114832535887,91.3413038277512,82.9712918660287,6.192344497607657,22.179425837320565,7.435244526350478,0.7928258373205743,1572,53,348,25,44,523,202,418,0.13,0.754,0.116,-0.6124,5,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,7,1,0,3,19,25,1,4,12,0,27,8,1,5,0,82,75,46,0,12,13,7,5,2,2,2,5,1,5,1,13,33,1,5,11,0,7,6,6,13,1,1,15,7,63,12,47,52,6,39,1,5,0,1,56,12,0,3,21,220,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553757475839124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811226712187479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896048972361769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04801352282670551,0.0,0.06702197119081091,0.0,0.16531495146529562,0.06965995033293619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042638046327531,0.0,0.0803046781765986,0.0,0.0,0.0678478153674638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577255502145396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120175107451674,0.06783892144659018,0.07994333497309554,0.0,0.0,0.09026984040405428,0.08061782051813206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579683081550701,0.0,0.06976111803666699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707875909013837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194756369605433,0.11253737719173004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230139743719092,0.0,0.08952626958950277,0.1321262406056207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965033815555713,0.0,0.07055666095634149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279354048727563,0.0,0.0,0.07822996697708405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001730634290355,0.0,0.0,0.1298591449464892,0.06420279739519731,0.0,0.0,0.08557681648979802,0.0,0.11126603500021072,0.0769597741266776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934598003916635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5534814354931815,0.06286830604834144,0.0,0.0,0.2336086671140251,0.0,0.15214063515876325,0.08376591816746197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264908560338312,0.0,0.0,0.05990322126559791,0.0,0.09241204344374687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073214074749494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965015186563302,0.0,0.0,0.0777694934828737,0.16912513070186092,0.0,0.0,0.07492216305227592,0.0,0.07885604378551203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898038086333694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060636021003425376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316996921999206,0.0,0.08234075323354911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844075942497415,0.2532285992382304,0.13768561091877507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093699198791586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052387529948955,0.08750919084322355,0.05347527337346336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474284052270264,0.0680264095730531,0.0,0.0,0.092913552975335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081788143258445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611556630200927,0.0,0.10144227457937388
mentalhealth,deaya,2019/03/06,"Going through a rough week. Hello everyone, I dont know if this is the right place to post this but I'm just going through a really hard time right now and I dont really have anyone to talk to about it. I was just wondering if anyone would like to be a friend I guess and message me to talk. I feel really pathetic asking for someone to talk to but i just dont know what to do anymore. ",0.3187014725568957,2.38509337349398,2.7922088353413663,91.46962516733605,85.144578313253,6.5804551539491305,18.86077643908969,7.793537801064563,0.6368350736278443,302,8,68,6,9,104,48,83,0.093,0.8140000000000001,0.093,0.0054,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,0,0,15,18,6,0,3,7,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,3,7,2,12,15,0,9,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,4,4,46,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581312023670968,0.21971305611829672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687873154102538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5524031094647287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15012747385721986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794406669315468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138452336506304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17858100810374328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307684032416712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074170296373972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17268955151277227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675710218908717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641488463972016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047009171568362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019503633294325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26834598123347114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312068723750115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3788425906162551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161340794658507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260259584038061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17038151737243093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160802428436543,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nagaffets,2019/03/06,"Feel overwhelmed and worried about trying to support family and friends who have various mental/physical health issues. No one realises I’m struggling too. How do I keep a brave face on things? To elaborate I’m Female 30 in think UK, married with no kids. People on the outside think I have a nice life, nice home etc but recently I feel like everyone else’s problems are getting on top of me because I worry about them too much.

I’ve summarised below:
My Husband is in a high stress job and is currently being bullied by his boss. Has had a bad rash on his face for the last year (suspected rosacea). It’s really getting him down and I wish there was something I could do to make it go away. We’ve also had to deal with his father being treated for stomach cancer which was hard going for his side of the family.

My younger brother is (I suspect severely depressed) he is facing redundancy for a second time. The last time he was redundant he was unemployed for two years. He is also still living with my parents and is single. He admitted to me when drunk that his last relationship broke down because he admitted to his girlfriend that he had intrusive thoughts and she dumped him (she was a nurse). I lie awake at nights worrying that my bro is going to do something bad to himself.

My older sister has learning disabilities since childhood and sometimes struggles with everyday tasks. I worry about the future when my parents are no longer around how i am going to cope with looking after her in middle/old age. My parents are still in there 50s at the moment but I’m starting to realise that they won’t be around forever. My mum is suffering with arthritis and issues with her spine. She has also has depression in the past and can sometimes go through manic episodes.

I’m also dealing with some close friends who are suffering from mental health issues which I feel is starting to effect me.

Basically I’m worried about a lot of people I am close to and it’s starting to take its toll on me.

I know it sounds like first world problems but I just need someone to tell me it will all be okay even if it just from some internet strangers. I feel so selfish just worrying about how this all effects me when I need to be a good wife/daughter/sister and friend. 

Has anyone else experienced this and if so what are your coping mechanisms?

Thanks for taking the time to read.",3.7558574108818017,6.0475451582417605,4.428158670597694,83.08086571964624,74.34065934065934,7.164299115518628,28.67997855802734,8.096554002634818,2.128600107209864,1897,80,341,31,41,605,230,455,0.198,0.715,0.087,-0.9965,7,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,2,4,29,28,1,4,16,1,43,11,6,7,2,64,78,29,0,8,8,9,5,2,4,2,4,1,1,1,19,24,1,1,15,2,0,5,4,15,0,4,9,8,47,13,61,61,9,57,0,6,1,0,46,24,0,5,30,241,66,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312073578386237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05053946276016639,0.07405882454482808,0.0,0.12868804568601894,0.0,0.0,0.06790891012550017,0.0,0.12070062115376312,0.0881217475455402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057709248818092924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14903385103132522,0.12450834593109865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076038942919967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061067818878853,0.04773988629350677,0.0,0.0,0.0690660992872419,0.0,0.0,0.1362772405361875,0.0,0.1461866199109448,0.05163644406035416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061480851980392624,0.0,0.0,0.16752874062157144,0.0,0.07552604496218493,0.0,0.2053903479425616,0.06062456227599367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474817820483618,0.0,0.0,0.15365932266484242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763671933487996,0.07250216837097084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22632285955706494,0.07172618807993451,0.06424528442793775,0.0,0.0,0.03972288817033477,0.17675216389132162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051053103737413175,0.0706241636468796,0.0,0.06382406687591129,0.0,0.06069652283343455,0.0,0.0,0.061449392392539375,0.0,0.0,0.04824708529342424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456813438894875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313370259399012,0.10718857300980086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678293550518554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584511016508982,0.0,0.04897841695215771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24077328246753105,0.0,0.06899890097201611,0.10021892123309607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383233188480141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229899659774792,0.0,0.04630405800642737,0.0,0.07136722393998687,0.07760106525148773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165519001017467,0.0,0.059790296999367824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124213220742855,0.11128848333657174,0.14297242226350976,0.0,0.15347927206761547,0.0,0.11544490312044133,0.0,0.08279585059687726,0.15112432169048393,0.0,0.0,0.0820218482802395,0.0,0.0,0.10869028230672104,0.0,0.06317541356957691,0.06654519431601945,0.0,0.0,0.04801924607813335,0.09262748911456677,0.0,0.05738179909255783,0.1264401624841664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049072993010253016,0.0,0.07060650709734398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311778517002752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404196593163226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309117499244253
mentalhealth,DazzDazzle,2019/03/06,"Uncontrollable Crying I find that I cry very, very easily. I'll start tearing up when I'm mildly sad/frustrated or not sad at all. I'm embarrassed that I cry in situations when my classmates do not. Today I went to speak to my teacher to apologize for crying during a quiz yesterday and I suddenly started again. I'm not even scared of her or anything, she's my favorite teacher. I don't usually cry during quizzes, I had forgot we would have a quiz yesterday and the shock of it made me anxious. I cried on and off during the quiz, I even started again in the next class after I thought I had calmed down. I'm pretty sure I bombed it, it wasn't even that hard. I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I'm 15. I had a bad head injury in November 2010, bad enough to require stitches. I was hit in the back of the head with a metal bat repeatedly. Just giving this information in case it might seem relevant.",3.0136541889483084,4.559212433155082,4.731893048128342,83.34176114081998,74.40106951871657,8.195222816399287,26.905169340463466,8.841846274778883,2.046218110516934,723,27,148,15,15,245,108,187,0.19,0.675,0.135,-0.9165,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,1,9,10,0,3,9,0,12,2,2,1,2,23,27,9,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,2,5,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,10,2,22,3,23,14,2,28,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,4,18,94,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449195267969272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068325806792517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847351735303347,0.18402083217504545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7262815166159663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138636069928501,0.0,0.21835348119248507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071863522750486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571160570997627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871542930912758,0.0,0.22618911586664184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05383699454789502,0.0,0.0,0.09752143270836287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427165970172296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690226849627977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719642711679455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211060403083906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483243032646467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103270493585701,0.0,0.0,0.10031978143305084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386675052133375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339953439968047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038599598770846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748460711947664,0.0,0.0,0.10445446589384504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136711819718328,0.18184916719737468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021543048074357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828123292222185,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psycwolfofwallstreet,2019/03/06,"I have severe anxiety in my own home I (18M) live with my family, my mom, stepdad and sister. 
My childhood was very troubled, and I get severe anxiety in a lot of situations.I learned to avoid my mom in my house because she would put pressure on me ( because of personal issues) and make me feel bad.I learned to avoid my stepfather because he is really cold and don’t even look at me, and this would make me feel horrible. Im basically spending 99% of my time inside my room, dont have a job or college anymore because I dropped out. I always avoid making noises so they don’t know I’m here. 
I keep hiding and living with anxiety.I can’t handle normal social situations, it’s like I’m traumatized to talk to my mom.Every time she talks to me my heart beats fast, even when she is only calling me to eat. My childhood was kind fuckep up, but my mom changed, and she always try her best for me. 
I want to take some steps to have a better life, what can I do? i can’t even have a job interview because I’m always extremely anxious.

",3.521336477987422,4.432549089622643,5.3399245283018875,81.95098742138366,72.25471698113208,8.294842767295599,28.75597484276729,8.648137234880735,2.1328574842767294,805,31,164,14,15,277,116,212,0.115,0.812,0.07400000000000001,-0.1119,2,3,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,3,6,9,0,4,4,0,17,3,1,3,0,30,31,11,0,4,2,4,2,1,0,2,1,0,2,1,3,10,1,4,5,0,1,2,5,5,0,0,2,4,35,4,21,27,4,17,0,0,1,0,17,8,0,3,7,99,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25396937215242577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566279625155702,0.1149380923592588,0.10089948914282994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494927964935524,0.3101010957474509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677064413259672,0.08998142879839477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388868485522186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762822710246213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923940564445948,0.0,0.0,0.1041061906714893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015964248937466,0.0,0.08572097305917001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591212792023078,0.0,0.10288636410568862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053155344628501085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056328303115807,0.0,0.0,0.1020542714239084,0.0,0.0,0.11739516982786287,0.0,0.0,0.10989747282800796,0.10619091381511338,0.2019239984398255,0.090431856619341,0.0,0.10594733871945802,0.055914057498727764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186250319013941,0.04970539314787575,0.0,0.17967789903894466,0.0,0.08543660906852182,0.0,0.0,0.08649635053637073,0.0,0.0,0.2037382294314535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4766301644970258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968433704674913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737842782463676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088836101832103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022775584820981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517773205950614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298761847185176,0.0,0.0,0.11436086996155442,0.0,0.10371188591118946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649638501096602,0.16355072795177253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865170335336467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907529334332459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394677697988913,0.060009332561230866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445474247280992,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dracarys_1999,2019/03/06,"Im depressed and being kicked out Hello all, 

I am 20 years old and live in Margate, Kent. I have to move back to the West Midlands tomorrow and will need to register as homeless. 

I have been trying to help spread mental health awareness but have come to the hard truth that I have depression. I dont want to go to a doctor as they will judge me. 

I recently self harmed (something I never thought I would do) and have just been feeling hopeless. 

I told my mom (she has depression) and she keeps blaming herself and crying. 

My life is a mess and I honestly dont know if I can do this. 

Im not looking for attention. Im scared and really need help. I dont think I am well",1.2805279503105569,3.3961557898550723,2.9615320910973075,91.38652173913046,81.68115942028986,6.2616977225672885,23.625258799171853,7.447530270364453,1.0266650103519668,521,19,112,8,14,172,87,138,0.239,0.6679999999999999,0.093,-0.9718,0,0,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,1,0,3,10,0,1,4,0,21,3,0,0,3,27,33,12,0,5,4,1,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,10,0,1,5,0,0,3,5,7,1,0,4,3,20,3,12,25,1,12,0,4,1,0,10,3,0,1,6,75,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231412288739003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461850758667845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615901371678475,0.0,0.0,0.34381044800273003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619147827580833,0.0,0.0,0.4678323116382168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672786054457215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562047027288847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191946879249596,0.0,0.0,0.14143544667661825,0.0,0.0,0.1783732250801464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.431179512162505,0.0,0.0,0.11826891258334027,0.0,0.0,0.07312572168381833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398347469067524,0.0,0.0,0.11749349470975196,0.0,0.11173601015265383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409213048792154,0.0,0.0,0.15583703953122655,0.0,0.14142061123043262,0.0,0.19732305777941828,0.1026232686510911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962298998069447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524097351858922,0.0,0.13137966536581358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332152259278119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880950878056156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243528396258372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525880545515273,0.0,0.10563394716330868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714353328511385,0.0,0.09033829598875014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848161889170915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963597996916014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452126373604856,0.0,0.0,0.08568560428595355
mentalhealth,Stormponylyfe,2019/03/06,Partial hospitalization Has anyone gone through partial hospitalization? How did you afford to take off so much time from work?,6.8663333333333325,10.924314300000002,5.890000000000002,64.70833333333334,81.0,6.666666666666668,31.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,3.128166666666667,106,5,14,2,3,32,18,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4453885755309349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4682508047884063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4789268362464712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37142594969772497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4637262662558842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dmikulic,2019/03/06,"I get productive when I am sad So, let me take it back a little so you guys can see the whole picture. When I was in the 6:th grade (12-13 years old), I started to really dislike my classmates. I felt as if I was alone in my grade and I had no one to talk to. During this period I started learning everything I could about physics, astronomy and a lot of other things. This went on until the beginning of eighth grade. For some reason I became more social then. At this point I started socialising (at school) more and more to the point where I pretty much stopped learning more things in my free time. But it wasn't like I had less free time, at that time I just thought that I grew out of my old hobbies and learning in general. But recently, about two months ago (I'm 16) I started learning things again. At the same time I became less satisfied with my day to day life in school. Could there be a relation between my lack of socialisation and me becoming more interested in learning?

​

Sorry for the bad English, I live in Sweden",3.285910908052543,5.048587533980585,4.372775556824674,85.29481153626503,74.14563106796119,7.5655054254711605,27.166190748143922,8.313332769828598,1.7987404911479152,816,31,165,14,17,266,117,206,0.105,0.82,0.075,-0.4594,0,2,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,0,11,6,0,0,9,0,11,1,0,1,0,27,23,15,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,11,7,0,1,8,0,2,2,2,2,0,2,8,2,27,6,30,11,13,44,0,1,1,0,4,17,0,3,26,122,38,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120407850170766,0.0,0.0,0.12992862648298314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592529482122806,0.15243578648795952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646349963250507,0.1047457197366564,0.0,0.1385499463844489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032363529305566,0.0,0.0,0.1618100676370639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274659674826475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045191443040068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554257851207827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421547200193933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828138142185513,0.08860922246544384,0.061288656025786925,0.12573410872010496,0.11077487021249499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665331747277558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001331936857918,0.0,0.0922203691626557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26327787137491937,0.0,0.08500833692778166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371820730795345,0.0,0.0,0.12762800570482347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036664329063245,0.12898375199903014,0.1238669886823196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25392470347678564,0.09996760815071402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788073283086382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043128551559134,0.3551773341061335,0.0,0.0,0.10488202733881137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432297646666186,0.1008321599869654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500307178332468,0.0,0.0,0.0995934865666894,0.2926042014017893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225466668407788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629363974481212,0.0,0.1400607254384228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243578648795952,0.08078584875957298
mentalhealth,Trash_Potato_Panda,2019/03/06,"I feel like I'm floating Hey guys I really need some help,
I suffer from severe anxiety and depression among many more problems.

Recently I feel like my brain has turned to mush, I constantly feel like I'm just floating in a pool of nothing, I can't think straight and I've nearly relapsed into self harming.

I've told my psychologist and she said that it's nothing serious but I'm so scared...

Is this my brains last hurrah before I go mad or is there something else wrong with me, please help

Please be kind I'm only 16 and I'm just super worried
",2.2008599508599542,4.4686974234234205,3.5472563472563468,87.6035380835381,79.27027027027026,6.55888615888616,24.505323505323506,7.686295010490155,1.3390468468468475,438,16,87,7,11,143,78,111,0.17800000000000002,0.5589999999999999,0.263,0.8998,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,13,1,1,1,0,5,2,2,0,0,17,19,7,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,6,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,8,0,0,2,4,12,5,8,16,2,9,0,2,0,0,8,5,0,2,6,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359720103022168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263571203949888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33153594490617483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604688331910781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789732400273307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240473523121864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252484845709995,0.3182515822669805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843923374980204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470320146284252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19906426602812344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546332383196011,0.0,0.1210421068796062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21763942343348336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054920801336175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010612621270842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849672369065764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293607763274187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32600277199047784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208832504792804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512880546604706,0.0,0.1466195200838866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125142261329648,0.0,0.14866800306590475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549112147897268,0.1677555061090496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431763151802625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514870588194344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189200269407776,0.0,0.0,0.16151840073038656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508024634641079,0.0,0.0,0.16235444565076473,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fredules,2019/03/06,"I'm finally off my anti-depressants after 8 years. I'm now 31. Big news! Super amazing news actually. 
For the first time in 8(ish) years I'm no longer on anti-depressants!! *uproarious applause* 

They're now totally out of my system and its crazy how different I feel!

The only satisfactory way to describe it is like Ive had tinted glasses and ear plugs in and now they're off!

The be more specific I was on SSRIs. Basically my brain doesn't make enough serotonin and they kept it active in my brain for longer before the chemical found its final destination. 

Coming out of winter and into a more active schedule is really helping and I have high hopes for me and my brain. 

I'm really pleased and i wanted all of you lovely people in internetland to be pleased too!

I'm 31 now, and I started them when I was 23 so this is definitely new ground for me - infact I have a lot of people in my life who have never known me without their affect on me, so it feels kind of like I (and they) will be meeting a new shiney Fred. 

Anyway, go me!

If anyone has any questions or anything, to do with mental health im happy to share my experiences (such as they are) with you if it'll help provide any insight into helping your own. ❤
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mentalhealth,ChosenUndead24,2019/03/06,How do I stop worrying about that someone will ruin my relationships with others or my whole life? I wasn't on good terms with my classmates. I didn't see them for 5 years. When I meet one of them she wasn't mean. She was nice. But I can't get out of my head the disgusting scenarios. Makes me feel ill.,0.01171875,2.274609234375003,1.7268749999999995,96.930625,89.46875,5.7,17.375,7.1686216300943375,0.02666249999999959,237,6,56,4,8,77,48,64,0.255,0.7040000000000001,0.042,-0.9218,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,7,3,1,2,0,10,12,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,4,2,14,2,8,7,2,6,0,1,1,0,6,2,0,1,4,38,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405325289107144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591805448612169,0.0,0.0,0.2555476288980106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126852980395371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21520154732970828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20337348073285624,0.0,0.0,0.3318812949759669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064562258168796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32710781703788305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24278718804098984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581508399684414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547226343080847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401596808529116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.309413092188552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962012437495867
mentalhealth,1901wasagoodyear,2019/03/06,"Can't find a therapist to call me back. I am 12 weeks pregnant and live in the DC DMA. I am not sure what is happening in my body, but one of my pregnancy side effects appear to be pretty bad depression. I have United Healthcare as insurance, and have tried to find an in network provider for months, but I either get ignored by the provider or get told they aren't accepting new patients. I am struggling. Really struggling. I don't know what to do next, but could use some advice. ",4.195714285714286,5.5384846315789495,4.8565413533834585,84.41578947368423,71.10526315789474,8.375939849624057,30.413533834586467,8.841846274778883,2.422774436090225,380,16,75,7,7,122,69,95,0.225,0.701,0.07400000000000001,-0.9469,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,1,7,0,2,4,0,12,1,1,2,1,19,19,7,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,1,0,10,2,11,16,2,10,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,3,5,50,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910078107022968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030183764801672,0.16320654156402334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21711945446970832,0.0,0.0,0.19959336951227674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560642658807892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683551943729008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3573060708886108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20424658097797754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285056967701068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742339413408514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726006896037198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601966627663033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18878297043929204,0.2078810678912467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245330414429562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988599197195472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522098221817354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40868849975332266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842250647186872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22695192058320846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677682179660893,0.0,0.13270906805352736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882048184062876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679160762354044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CocoonMom,2019/03/06,"Just really excited for my son He is 19yo and has been struggling with what looked like social anxiety since about 3rd grade.  It got pretty bad for a while, but I've seen him making conscious efforts on his own to step back into the world for the past couple of years.  

He has been out of school for almost a year now & I think he's working out other issues, too.  Trying to figure out what to do with his life going forward.   And, I think some more personal gender or sexuality related issues that he doesn't talk want to talk to his mom about quite yet.  
Anyway, a few weeks ago, he let me know that he would like to see a therapist.  I am so freaking proud of him, that he recognized the need for help & asked for it. 

We have worked with insurance and found a therapist.  His first appointment is in about an hour. 

Let your healing, self-knowledge and growth begin, baby.  Find the confidence to be you & to love yourself as much as I do.  ",4.3504360345536846,5.347299732620321,5.038181818181818,84.56188811188811,70.3903743315508,8.32069107363225,25.079802550390788,8.617729084823388,1.5359900452488686,738,20,150,12,13,238,126,187,0.058,0.79,0.152,0.9681,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,2,0,6,10,8,0,1,10,0,15,3,0,1,0,28,30,10,0,3,3,2,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,8,12,0,0,7,0,0,4,1,3,0,1,5,3,15,5,31,21,5,23,0,0,3,1,25,8,0,3,15,99,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316282409028545,0.0,0.12783297799309887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149584377079824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765949591156296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934480036012897,0.0,0.0,0.09816260506919136,0.10659070797108908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125328279749305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166788619298229,0.10858746999996644,0.0,0.13997252243810593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255207931278622,0.0,0.10210130680885968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556775914373012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571931447633838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664875966075541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015855812934854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610818523113301,0.09016998287953988,0.12473638546394923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720218799797712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521806968261268,0.0,0.08521399359521482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951376540160052,0.0,0.0,0.09384473621562843,0.0946582194384112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186584681225505,0.0,0.11146772552705797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987604189667468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578204797218155,0.0,0.0,0.08178221914122423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919866311953715,0.10172843485872793,0.0,0.1331771470618166,0.0,0.0,0.10560161208856553,0.0,0.0,0.13013322055138118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345787525085226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052164297746195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29644603284327103,0.0,0.16359865505129914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866727116600277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529713340685963,0.0,0.10240109434561066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858758967972594,0.0,0.0,0.09068595049165164,0.0,0.0,0.16441761696759308
mentalhealth,miamans,2019/03/06,"Who gave you your diagnosis? Confused on where to go tldr at the end. Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this, theres just no one irl I feel comfortable asking.

This is something I've been wondering for a while. Years ago I had a breakdown in college, talked to my counselor, and they recommended I see a therapist. Talked to my general doctor a few months after, they also recommended I see a therapist.

Last year I went to see a therapist. They wrote a list of things I might have, but no diagnosis, and the experience was draining and expensive. Didn't go back.

Recently I tried out a free screening at a psychology practice, and now they're offering a mental health assessment...for $300. I don't know if this is typical, or if this is even where I go to get a diagnosis. They said they'll be able to pass on the information to a doctor as well...huh? Is that where I'm supposed to go for an official diagnosis?

The whole system is confusing to me. Who gives you the diagnosis if you have a mental disorder? Is it a doctor, a therapist, a psychologist, or someone else? 

My situation isn't critical (no thoughts of self-harm or suicide, thank god), but I have enough symptoms in common with adult ADD that I've always wondered. I've also taken online assessments for anxiety and depression and scored higher than I thought I would. 

I'm 25 and live in the US, if that's relevant. I just would really like to have something close to a definitive answer, so I'm not wondering about this for the rest of my life. It just feels like I'm spinning in circles.

tldr; Who gave you your diagnosis? Where did you have to go to get it, and how did they determine that you had it? ",4.0561585365853645,5.5710302012195125,5.8237512195121965,76.67734634146345,71.6829268292683,9.882146341463416,29.888292682926828,10.17224662633116,3.19305424390244,1318,55,255,38,25,453,165,328,0.094,0.835,0.07200000000000001,-0.7899,0,0,2,0,0,1,50.0,1,8,6,0,16,9,0,2,26,0,26,6,0,1,0,44,57,24,1,7,14,0,2,2,0,4,6,1,0,1,18,12,0,0,10,0,2,7,7,4,0,1,15,7,33,6,35,37,4,34,0,1,4,0,29,14,0,14,14,180,51,4,0.09536105679106913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453182308836113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525204053256342,0.07934803846515393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295094743047734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914971530322785,0.0,0.0,0.0733267663855862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821343384802225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092920327770766,0.2928182472588634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966192648539548,0.0,0.08446159165566099,0.09853346328246954,0.0,0.06298507863895482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328141189382,0.0,0.0,0.09643483118545053,0.06812595802557989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964443258172298,0.0914790150676406,0.2709794308539036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136434408485384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052407942905285915,0.07773198895542488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735633457302657,0.09317719095016253,0.0,0.0842055602420643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19220303217094192,0.1011630114724794,0.0,0.0,0.07611628573308102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461912004517611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109073483977338,0.0,0.09415753913756933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071020247058126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227971247474516,0.0,0.09948237970678714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718982330481634,0.0,0.0,0.08079911396074696,0.14682720087494988,0.0,0.106748895752891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430951840360664,0.0,0.0,0.09911665110243292,0.0,0.15329521047206188,0.0,0.0877956489311767,0.0,0.4428861475489652,0.06335364880887707,0.0,0.0,0.1514120543173995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474389789696804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470760982242201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574104245769253,0.08840065502686667,0.0,0.10646721436755996,0.0,0.0,0.3102449947787345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354835174039856,0.1042623455715449,0.0,0.12281878807677825
mentalhealth,pancako56,2019/03/06,"Did my friend just cry out for help? How do I respond to this ? I apologize in advance if my writing is confusing or unnecessarily detailed this is my first post.

Im gonna give a little backstory of our relationship/ the circumstances. My buddy is 2 years older than me, we met through work and starting hanging out and fucking around together on the job around a year and a half ago. Eventually it turned from a casual coworker friendship to actually talking and hanging out outside of work. Now it’s at a point where he’s the person I talk to the most besides my gf. We’ve gotten really close and started talking about our personal struggles and we’ve had some pretty deep heart to hearts about stuff that neither of us discuss with anyone other than our girlfriends.
I thought I knew him pretty well.
He’s always been the “popular” type with lots of friends always going out to parties. He seems relatively happy in life and confident.
While he has all these friends He’s said to me that I’m one of his only “real friends” and I’m the person he talks to the most besides his gf and he feels more comfortable with me than her. But last night he opened up in a whole new way that kind of shocked me.
He asked if I had tumblr and said he uses it quite a bit (had never mentioned tumblr at all in any previous conversation) and I didn’t so I said I’d download it and check out his page. He immidiately sent a long text along the lines of “don’t judge me please and don’t show anyone” apparently none of his other friends not even his girlfriend know about his tumblr. So he went to bed and I checked it out, his whole feed.
His entire page was extremely dark and concerning. A good 2 thirds of it was posts about wanting to kill him self and suicide  in general. The rest were other dark posts about being hurt by someone he loves “his gf” and other really sad troublesome ideas. It was sprinkled with pictures of people who were often blood-covered, crying or doing drugs. But all of them were sad looking. He talked about how nobody knows what he actually feels inside and nobody knows how unhappy he is. 

So what I’m left wondering is why did he choose to share this with me? And is he okay? Is it just an outlet for him to express these thoughts or did he show me this as a cry for help? Literally not a single thing on his feed was about anything but despair and pain. And he wanted me to see all of these thoughts. He has a dark personality and that’s a trait we share so we get along well. I have these thoughts too but I keep them inside and don’t share them with anyone but the fact that he wanted me to see this and see his pain makes me wonder if it’s a cry for help?

I woke up this morning to a text from him on an unrelated subject and so far we’ve been talking about other things today and pretending like it never happened basically.

But I don’t want to let him open up to me like that and make him feel like I was scared away or ignoring it. I have no clue how to address this to him and talk about it and ask him if he’s okay. Anybody been in a situation like this or have any advice?

",3.83784908026756,5.094613017628209,4.771909141583056,85.01149665551841,71.86858974358975,7.733779264214048,26.8664994425864,8.18289091462,1.5934729375696768,2449,83,504,36,46,797,275,624,0.083,0.8,0.117,0.8828,2,0,1,0,0,1,40.0,7,0,3,5,29,36,2,3,28,2,38,10,2,7,7,115,87,55,2,8,19,0,3,4,10,1,4,3,2,5,41,51,2,2,16,4,2,6,12,13,2,4,31,10,61,23,82,53,18,58,0,4,4,2,99,32,1,18,20,337,102,4,0.0,0.0,0.12586201105945308,0.0,0.0,0.06301694730686018,0.057164739216469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731839821927153,0.0,0.0,0.08770813069943686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527457012988875,0.0,0.05306814616178635,0.11481602105429252,0.12057518790773968,0.0,0.06058861810495721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704042161692693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833482497177905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478563022478442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04259372935990053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782124248647922,0.04607025475285879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054853477320182135,0.0,0.0,0.24911642346505866,0.05961813583504519,0.03369232908269964,0.0618627855057006,0.03665002819494003,0.054089492008223015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057026543580848285,0.06864869700541165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528372296545481,0.12967488243894598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06903575975169507,0.07279912567097238,0.06965812837366038,0.0,0.06399440971248364,0.05731991569375824,0.07134644002271813,0.06715434969935748,0.10632278872965978,0.0525663438344337,0.0,0.0,0.070066422996632,0.06594337019029503,0.04554979603858144,0.1260223576633722,0.0646339381832078,0.0,0.057069868850518485,0.05415369552327498,0.0,0.0,0.054825408942252685,0.05820295630989756,0.0,0.08609250892462468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947427398815964,0.06228293207939669,0.0,0.060517638730285074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0436987516750813,0.049046045555534205,0.13723960117758038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044707873637355934,0.2252338084360065,0.0,0.07078848115422734,0.060962023772378436,0.0,0.18528509260082132,0.1312150014843604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685909478223615,0.0,0.07340148558901556,0.08262535452495015,0.0,0.0,0.06923600008262723,0.0,0.0,0.1840286254000539,0.0,0.06456375857794731,0.0,0.15416580921378634,0.05870747189100646,0.06727506972880183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248723701929584,0.0,0.0,0.05464049052461301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912899057001134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741688090969045,0.0738233548845743,0.07053942763194287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628311969816602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568595069304412,0.0,0.0,0.2047851396801524,0.0,0.0,0.06112710307732686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014444813676536,0.0,0.0,0.07757114849858326,0.05569694437810613,0.0,0.0,0.15214682134537913,0.051187589027448216,0.0,0.0,0.11596495031507345,0.05978104111032308,0.05819040805953246,0.1439971438463735,0.0,0.0,0.13986901478277336,0.093896093990772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305634179867205
mentalhealth,ThrowawayAmbitionLoL,2019/03/06,"I'm starting to realize something might be wrong with me. Hello everyone.
I've been dealing with depression for years now because of several different reasons such as a mentally abusive father, unsuccessful life, being poor, and because enormous regret of things I've done in the past (mainly stealing). I moved to a different country to live with my father and haven't been able to finish any school programme due to my inability to focus and anxiety.

I'm lately having some kind of fear and anxiety attacks, where I think that my life is doomed and that I'll never be able to have friends/a good job/people will hate me. It's collateral damage coming from bad friend relationships, where I've been rejected because of my poor posture and perhaps even bad breath. Although I exercise daily and still am able to have fun with things like music, video games, maybe even rapping, I always do back to the thinking that I'm not worthy of a normal life. I struggle with anxiety because I (sometimes) walk funny and hunch a bit and because I haventbeenlucky with befriending the right people, after being rejected and hated because of how I am I now am afraid to even go outside and sometimes I'm having huge battles within myself. One part of me that tells me that life is beautiful, I'm good looking, I'm smart and creative, fights with the part of me that tells me I'm useless, have no real education or skill, have no chances of having friends or a girlfriend due to my inability to focus on a conversation without my mind shifting it's focus on keeping a good posture or even keeping attention while talking to someone. I turned into an introvert with social anxiety and I don't see away out of here.",9.446698113207546,8.116513040880506,9.26479245283019,66.39813207547171,60.100628930817614,11.750440251572327,41.95471698113208,10.650279960617883,4.660772075471698,1369,66,222,26,15,447,166,318,0.239,0.6579999999999999,0.102,-0.9931,3,2,1,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,13,28,5,3,12,0,25,6,1,2,1,44,44,20,0,2,5,2,0,1,3,2,5,0,0,0,10,24,0,2,5,4,2,4,7,19,0,1,4,2,24,9,43,34,5,30,1,7,2,0,15,12,0,5,15,154,34,1,0.26449299481030336,0.10446031621187822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733597865914073,0.0,0.0,0.05995476877408822,0.0,0.2697818894409595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029965501506874,0.08283329173375185,0.06779292894362977,0.14722706852455295,0.3224649494022785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625261574926182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759457650729297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089355460033127,0.07593580962157746,0.0,0.0,0.18422592340829927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902227212324428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329268381058155,0.0,0.0,0.08424479704650897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920938419707724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623108779146592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050105821398050886,0.2218441752617395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408804948088447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748949513687121,0.15672901767094996,0.0,0.09180958427210194,0.0,0.0,0.09945320621665654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490922989622046,0.04307263906903353,0.0,0.07785072005126527,0.0,0.07403583379257163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857292118724039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884890978416411,0.09352842333744993,0.08902084209369031,0.0,0.0,0.09370473183708468,0.0,0.0,0.06799776769120794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638232591132841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974243280532308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094675915024809,0.08416283051753909,0.12224409321841995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035031099328294,0.0,0.0906476166370239,0.0,0.09465549756205946,0.0,0.07529185746760933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922701045169902,0.07025555761344489,0.0,0.0,0.09960059973261014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898724332736187,0.07470135206352005,0.06787320978785281,0.1743935566238369,0.0,0.06240316768823531,0.0,0.07040814910501264,0.0,0.0,0.09216850192057932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086315013731517,0.15411902364323646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714492875453268,0.11298428754359753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589747575940057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498726951420071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963938563397133,0.0,0.056774938971456086
mentalhealth,throwaway_aocu827hxp,2019/03/06,"I think I need to see a doctor but I’m scared I won’t be taken seriously (UK) Hello, please delete if I’ve posted this in the wrong place, I’m not really sure where to post it but I just needed to get type this out because not talking about it is becoming too much for me. 
I feel at a complete loss. At the beginning of the year I tried, and very nearly succeeded in, killing myself. I have battled with myself since I was a young child and have suffered with self harm and suicide attempts several times throughout my life. Right now, I feel very much as though I’m drowning and everybody around me is just watching me. I can’t stop hurting myself, I can’t stop thinking about hurting myself and I feel completely disconnected and out of control of myself. I’ve stopped eating regularly to the point where I have lost 20 kilos in a little over 3 months, I don’t go out (nor do I want to or have the motivation to), and I’m crying hysterically all the time for the smallest of reasons. 
Several months ago I finally worked up the strength to see a counsellor through my employer. I have been under various counsellors through CAMHS and seen several child psychiatrists through the NHS when I was younger, but it’s been a good few years since then. I explained to this most recent counsellor how I was feeling and that I wanted help and he said I did not present as somebody with mental health issues and that I was ok. It’s knocked me back massively. I don’t think the way I feel is normal and I really really think I want somebody to help me but I don’t know where to start. I want to phone up my GP and ask for help but I’m frightened of being told I’m fine as I am. I really don’t feel fine, my thoughts are seriously worrying me. If anybody could offer me some kind of advice on what to do I would be so grateful because I’m really struggling right now. Thank you ",4.340130932896892,5.297361425531918,5.396276595744684,82.13153846153848,70.38297872340425,8.763338788870701,29.88707037643208,9.057496981413335,2.384272422258592,1480,58,299,28,26,489,188,376,0.185,0.69,0.125,-0.9825,1,0,0,0,0,4,29.0,0,1,0,8,16,22,2,2,16,1,31,4,0,4,2,66,70,30,3,11,13,0,6,0,0,2,3,1,0,3,10,20,1,4,15,0,0,1,11,13,0,0,13,11,49,9,47,51,7,48,0,5,4,0,16,23,0,5,21,199,59,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853552864056546,0.07742857908312377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775808556169095,0.0816584279080142,0.0,0.0,0.06716508792270243,0.0,0.10649285019387447,0.09646881324074927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18316507118395856,0.0,0.09796801622029426,0.0697401329451645,0.0,0.0959474873062047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940420300318941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937863425402759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649941174818371,0.0,0.0,0.09568527583270801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563563487967188,0.0,0.04964178347328277,0.07326321377353742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284665638855366,0.0,0.0,0.17564222329428658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870153124728216,0.0,0.0,0.09116843855070822,0.0,0.0,0.09663742980929853,0.09095932121342452,0.04800408181879705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06169635396110376,0.0,0.08754547055871903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535047231733572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880260659994745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944040561474588,0.0,0.12842140761367676,0.12953461507477332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558232554941246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125988901916417,0.09588168486991422,0.0825719305891104,0.0,0.16731014773565708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797862758054497,0.08980811474411496,0.08624544223735554,0.0,0.0,0.14918913537075446,0.0830877866942233,0.0,0.0874504135849549,0.0,0.13920981959900738,0.0,0.09112283425441564,0.2960345485481457,0.0,0.1445100515763247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061825242097454915,0.0,0.0,0.21908008566637602,0.0,0.09131491486887844,0.0,0.09554434649296284,0.0,0.08232429398749565,0.0,0.0,0.0702068753130583,0.0,0.08041814429242758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238758444279517,0.08581879732964696,0.06934441843043121,0.10186644165188964,0.0,0.0,0.08346459267697247,0.0,0.05930344141785469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414221148800002,0.20608004777519667,0.06933264000519351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359025894992952,0.08870595910083047,0.0,0.06204939074133516,0.09550113761346132,0.0,0.11249827459128342
mentalhealth,mt183,2019/03/06,"What is the best way to create a mental health space at my university? I started graduate school at a state university (California) and I’ve noticed that from my undergrad institution and now this institution that there really isn’t much being done to provide students with an open and supporting atmosphere for their mental health. 

I have ADHD, depression and anxiety, and so I definitely feel out of place sometimes (almost all the time) when I talk to my other colleagues or students from my other classes. Like they’re not as soft-spoken as me or they don’t take a moment to think what other’s might be struggling with internally. I don’t want students to feel alone like I did as an undergrad and now a grad student so I really want to try to create this type environment to help students. 

I’m married and my wife had some key points. She told me that we weren’t and shouldn’t serve as therapists and I understand that but I want people with mental health issues to know that there will be a community ready to support them with just a sense of belonging and understanding...",6.052118226600985,7.415984926108379,6.689630541871924,72.9273522167488,66.73399014778326,10.134975369458127,31.24876847290641,10.290406445055957,3.370286699507389,872,34,152,22,14,286,118,203,0.037000000000000005,0.831,0.132,0.9253,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,3,1,8,7,0,1,10,0,15,3,0,0,1,36,30,20,0,4,5,1,2,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,12,17,0,0,6,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,2,21,5,26,19,4,15,0,1,0,0,9,7,0,5,8,110,33,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568351393180363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067648213573738,0.1351582117732004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983182409754568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695126157956866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239909994781266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354638229191124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196902086785434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41614486411239776,0.0,0.0,0.08747111993076137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620766019924296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717191581702325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127511009308069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945386586717871,0.13843943529483613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593220926353288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485746406308565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047197969021588,0.0,0.13634428921834785,0.0,0.12336428749321444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720274950030642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320725454273059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290674248348784,0.0,0.09236827679857912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642649905279494,0.0,0.0,0.2961787614737649,0.0,0.0,0.09811944583305024,0.10489062188964493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515200745661469,0.0,0.08361886369179276,0.0,0.0,0.0760953565224728,0.0,0.0,0.1246979443625118,0.0,0.08860065090174908,0.0,0.0,0.2717093372405202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309161062267888,0.1035844950365279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,k8vant,2019/03/06,"Should I take time off from work? Hey everyone, thank you in advance for reading. 

I'm a 24yo female with a history of depression, anxiety, and type-O OCD. I've been on citalopram 30mg for about 6 years and recently started amitriptyline 10mg for headache prevention. 

Lately for me, things have been overwhelmingly tough at work and with school. At first I was incredibly stressed and I felt like my emotions were out of control, but now I feel totally numb. I have no motivation to do anything, I can't hold a conversation, I feel totally empty, and just mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Just completely burnt out. Its affecting my work performance and people I work with as well as customers have noticed (I work in customer service/retail). 

Tomorrow I'm going to my GP to discuss my options for help. Something I would like to do is take about a month off of work for stress leave/short-term disability and to attend regular counseling sessions. I guess my question is whether taking the time off of work is a good idea or not? Work is my biggest stressor - my manager is absolutely awful and I can't sleep at night because of the dread of coming back to work. 

I'm worried my manager or coworkers will shame or judge me for this, and I'm worried about repercussions for when I return to work. I also feel bad about leaving them since our schedule is already made for the next two weeks and my manager would have to replace all of my shifts. 

Does anyone have any advice?",5.647625899280572,7.197459985611513,6.130280575539569,75.86894604316551,67.84892086330936,9.732661870503597,34.763309352517986,10.008157457239328,3.7151951079136696,1188,58,209,29,20,384,162,278,0.17600000000000002,0.757,0.068,-0.9844,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,1,1,1,15,11,15,0,5,8,1,23,3,1,4,3,45,40,20,0,3,8,0,4,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,3,17,0,3,7,1,0,4,4,10,1,2,6,4,29,5,45,30,3,33,0,2,0,0,8,12,0,6,19,138,32,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040037337928196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208784434305676,0.07398076356102905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291043998861558,0.0,0.07077042290681784,0.0,0.0,0.06468562384716119,0.0,0.07612841358707867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113500852669344,0.07724256008736928,0.05639365659203285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968976603033692,0.0969956960039892,0.0,0.10375860264180943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967931979165298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095672625820187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20812414421458533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839792659225545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032855006672662,0.0,0.08882476784178216,0.0,0.0,0.0786895437309864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052575955751241375,0.07759357573493157,0.0,0.0,0.10191095229075862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200796394929493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443330601678864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435608525059364,0.09795546082591032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039209826708036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753584955271458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932290144941115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384114834916931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838616592042113,0.08681501359642503,0.0,0.0,0.10532403114662407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413526269576618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363314233225296,0.0,0.09253572244410838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134314356892284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362575490093784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652579687608899,0.0,0.09257749785048697,0.0,0.0,0.07121924708412596,0.0,0.0,0.06547954093097817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21194136048618836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20866957224589927,0.0,0.0,0.08517141206643311,0.0,0.0,0.06145999026492576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788745194274928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036949959152417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420649354490241,0.0,0.08317821836358047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6734888247036596,0.1878981879475281,0.0,0.13143387661580286,0.0,0.0,0.059573849821346725
mentalhealth,bunbunsylvia,2019/03/06,"Can I get away with not paying my psychiatrist? I was seeing a psychiatrist for about a year or two while I was in college, and stopped seeing her last year because my insurance changed since graduating and she didn’t accept my new one. 
I owe her over $400 in copayments
Her financial person keeps sending me bills each month with this balance for the past year. 
What will happen if I don’t pay them? 
I didn’t like her as my psychiatrist, and was just seeing her because she took my insurance and I needed someone to prescribe my antidepressants. ",5.925494505494505,7.084037153846152,6.315824175824176,76.24346153846155,66.88461538461539,9.404395604395603,32.164835164835175,9.606745405546679,3.013056593406594,440,18,80,9,7,142,68,104,0.034,0.909,0.057,0.4871,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,15,17,8,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,2,1,0,4,2,4,0,0,2,6,3,22,2,11,10,1,15,0,0,3,0,10,4,0,2,10,58,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19088484762384755,0.0,0.0,0.2477010206980363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21492685832777386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614790870296233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796625079497283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18058677875869272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561061874024965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992585707190879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621683086443839,0.0,0.0,0.15064793698044052,0.0,0.19622279516174287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767321017951675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394869795312056,0.0,0.17740015595242772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4857004157051907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806427479128766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17214523179609673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985916812061558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22572928017134886,0.0,0.0,0.19846751072312765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3925043426713317
mentalhealth,throwawayhelplolol,2019/03/06,"I feel like I'm on the verge of giving up My mental health is at an all time low and I dont know how to tell anyone. I'm so fucked up were I cannot be alone without crying the entire time. I feel so lonely and I hate being alone. 

I'm constantly seeing my boyfriend and he is supportive but I just wish he was more supportive. I feel like I can never talk to him or tell him how I feel. I have no friends, (and no not like ""teehee I have no friends *has millions*) so I feel so alone. I'm so broken and I just cry everytime I'm alone. I cant stand my thoughts or dissociations. I'm so lost and need my boyfriend so bad to help but I dont know how to take the step to do it without over whelming him and pushing him away ",-1.2826636904761877,0.7115986562500005,1.24642857142857,99.69666666666667,93.6875,4.297619047619048,16.99404761904762,5.916634753146586,-0.6212827380952382,555,15,139,5,21,188,78,160,0.199,0.59,0.211,-0.4481,0,6,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,13,13,2,0,4,0,15,2,0,3,2,31,39,21,0,2,9,0,5,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,8,0,0,2,11,6,0,1,4,6,23,7,14,33,2,15,0,3,1,1,13,8,1,2,7,88,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4963643983321781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377668708215523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256913316772066,0.0,0.10003962860672172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947629583615833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632199565937357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808420720033381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029076201797773,0.17119019395232135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18513589333710245,0.11076604949795628,0.0,0.1149364411588649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829145271633168,0.0,0.12735660698687296,0.0,0.0,0.08030875306476039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169320726806338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17560510545079075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079106024144035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074426294017512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884051243716932,0.09240789066964464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547619145911417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719268603974774,0.0,0.0,0.0900851658523972,0.09630190008785136,0.2094453151993404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511887867904374,0.13972893455978366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778010882694774,0.2309927097973051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ravdoggydog,2019/03/06,"UK: therapist or psychiatrist? Hey all. How can I work out if I need to find a therapist or a psychiatrist?

I have looked for local therapists but they nearly all talk about Buddhist techniques, and do yoga classes. I am an atheist and looking for a proper scientific diagnosis and assistance, so this is not appealing.

Where to start finding help for my broken mind? I am 40. Been to doctor recently after months of getting the courage to go.... and they just sent me to the NHS website. 

I need to talk things over with someone.

Thanks ",3.1469696969696948,5.975327737373736,4.487676767676772,78.91818181818184,79.7070707070707,7.640404040404039,29.202020202020197,8.575989854853784,2.7933353535353533,422,20,73,10,11,139,73,99,0.041,0.84,0.12,0.8438,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,1,5,2,0,0,6,0,7,1,0,1,2,20,16,10,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,10,2,16,14,2,11,0,0,2,0,7,5,0,3,4,56,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18430774188574606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32915869710440376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407836020745756,0.0,0.1023370793296541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206961211656052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024243804278685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818178551941467,0.0,0.14372896029043228,0.0,0.0,0.26703702508951505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779592203442024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257145734475971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745341247675993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28946448196271696,0.0,0.16578288361510998,0.0,0.6272202285737221,0.11962951142724533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109201401385187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kasengan,2019/03/06,"How long does it take before the episodes of major depression stop? So around 6.5 months ago me and my fiancee at the time ended up breaking up. Since then every week I end up super depressed at some point, or as of last week I find myself depressed nearly the whole week. So my question is how long does this typically last? Im just so tired of not having the will to play games anymore or go to the gym and want my life to normalize again.",5.886629213483148,5.527867325842699,5.936269662921351,84.20620224719102,66.75280898876404,8.468314606741574,29.03595505617977,7.554174236665415,1.5653173033707857,348,10,72,3,5,110,63,89,0.162,0.763,0.07400000000000001,-0.875,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,5,0,3,2,0,2,0,15,6,11,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,2,14,5,3,25,0,3,0,0,3,8,0,4,15,46,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976009535841996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636085077442607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403548609786999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416090483743656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073886931149302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759465902020833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792879574259273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283916886605907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410252660903555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960438734823976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030475075074047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570352748089644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113631221827508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27905630015865085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584632584185748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544777667550951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904394513909147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662035991490665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042173075961425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181460913802362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854410704251493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193545695709447,0.18121218701820152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299462636918916,0.0,0.3794069340068113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602682030176486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,andresrroa,2019/03/06,"Any advice you guys may have for us? We are open to any advice you guys may have for us in terms of acquiring funding or support for our mission to utilize art therapy to help with stress and low morale on our high school campus. 

Who are We?
Our team consists of Collin Stewart, Kyle Gorgonio, Andres Roa, and Jesse Lapid, and we are seniors at Cypress High School located in southern California. We are mental health activists who want the school environment and community to be more aware of the psychological impacts of school standards. Because of the expectations to get into a good college and the belief that good grades will set you up for a good future, students have constant anxiety which impacts their overall mental health. The creation of this group was made to counter this problem and make people more aware of this issue.
What Do We Do?
We had several plans at first, starting from planting more greenery into the campus to painting murals around campus to, where we are now, having a Saturday Academy event at our school. This Saturday Academy event will consist of students painting on canvases to relieve stress as well as learning self-defense, as part of the partnership we have with “Action!” The overlying title of this event is “Martial ARTs” because of this combination of painting and learning krav-maga. With this event, we want students to know of their outlet options to take them away from all the stress. 
What are Our Goals?
Our goals consist of helping students find positive outlets to deal with their stress. This comes in the form of painting, running, sparring, and other forms of physical activities. We really want students to know that they are not alone and that we all have to cope with these expectations. From this event, we hope students and adults will be more open to addressing these issues so that they can become stronger as individuals. 
What is Our Future? 
Our future actions consist of this Saturday Academy event and helping make this effort last beyond our years here at Cypress High School. We really want people to know their options so that they know that they are not alone. For the sake of mental health of students, we hope that these events have a long-lasting impact.",9.420901619531056,9.424778527918788,8.019528643944891,70.98354483925553,59.40609137055839,10.347401498670537,39.32028039642253,9.725611199111238,3.9547823543630662,1796,81,283,28,21,544,179,394,0.043,0.847,0.111,0.972,0,2,0,0,0,0,39.0,25,3,9,7,8,14,0,4,15,0,29,3,0,3,2,66,47,18,0,9,3,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,3,28,36,0,0,8,3,1,4,2,6,1,1,3,0,37,8,68,37,10,49,2,1,0,0,48,23,0,7,21,207,65,24,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522579307051721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137450399051612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595767533205512,0.0,0.05959797368155286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935296981461747,0.0,0.0,0.07319537054076279,0.0,0.0,0.09498170346682268,0.08604119615869002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710922986596403,0.0,0.08418884629637169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031779577374235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120478840874077,0.06626691156653994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040702735740192536,0.0,0.0,0.19603188851634765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542786276193425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24843170885919735,0.0,0.0,0.15665650359455766,0.2469363005823513,0.0,0.15475672452644673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262751124027486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712606792365612,0.12700778249371275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894447056029927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737166607680744,0.10400588903687592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.235533155969394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436474331168747,0.0,0.10802059790527316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454564179278897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998173193195968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4730709565363406,0.0,0.0,0.08127308083549799,0.08801174806554306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551423574538036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569648196371452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840694934162943,0.0,0.0,0.05857571173589767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909244545949226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742295616614468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18380420800624114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004696404652341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05016899133747242
mentalhealth,hikarakujou,2019/03/06,"My best friend is struggling with his mental health I have a very close friend who is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts and a very low self esteem. He is in a situation that makes it impossible for him to seek professional help anytime soon.

I get the impression I am the only person he opens up to and he has told me that I am the reason why he ""keeps trying not to commit suicide since he doesn't want to hurt me"". I am thankful for his trust but also feel stressed.

I've never really had to deal with mental health problems prior to getting to know him.

Does anyone have tips on how to be a good friend or how to behave in certain situations?
How do I take care of my own mental health in the processes?",5.332057902973397,5.884757260563378,6.019671361502351,80.00647104851332,67.94366197183099,8.846322378716746,28.45383411580595,8.841846274778883,2.0774106416275435,569,18,111,9,9,186,91,142,0.122,0.6659999999999999,0.211,0.9376,0,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,17,0,3,8,0,13,3,0,5,3,24,25,8,2,2,3,0,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,2,4,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,3,1,14,10,20,21,2,11,0,3,0,0,18,8,0,1,3,72,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947982545563114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698091584977823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305464381184358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268305087625788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824731553677288,0.10714251169843968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088602037877265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289860136215833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28832525109287993,0.0,0.12998406003041466,0.0,0.0,0.10433787107673806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966829449000036,0.0,0.0,0.0833803428569145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316901182140833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056931303543448,0.0,0.0,0.06836505583073325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303562081415743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760872006257669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594223932858208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460913364132126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861821397373307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903063764128492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969157472197573,0.12790030651373002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977266547401048,0.0,0.0,0.10290205926039682,0.2796537260759796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424957552012981,0.2600924345039777,0.0,0.27213913212457785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935306766503746,0.0,0.0,0.11452757174084713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875691520236138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886617391807505,0.0,0.08445704885659769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20528025873174435,0.073372270846324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224848059388794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JDurno26,2019/03/06,"Just want to vent I guess I've been struggling with anxiety for most of my life (24, M) but did not know it was anxiety until very recently. I would always procrastinate projects and events in high school. EVentually leading INto college I found myself actively trying to avoid social events that revolved around drinking (not much of a drinker), however now I am realizing that by staying in most weekends I kind of lost out on the social aspect of college. Combined with that and my continual procrastination of work due to being overwhelmed by a bunch of projects led me to failing 2nd year and changing my career field.

I find that the only way to cope with all the thoughts in my head is either to use CBD oil but that only gives a minor relief or I just get high so that my mind isn't continuously racing around. I have been interested in mental health awareness and treatments for a while but just started becoming more aware of my own mental health.

I am hoping that by addressing and putting my own mental health into words I can start the recovery to get better.",9.981211111111113,8.209926210000003,9.36066666666667,67.53144444444446,59.4,11.888888888888893,39.72222222222222,10.504223727775694,4.141755555555555,862,35,148,15,9,276,124,200,0.077,0.8240000000000001,0.099,0.6918,1,1,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,7,10,0,3,8,0,12,6,1,3,1,41,25,12,0,3,10,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,8,13,1,1,5,2,0,3,3,5,0,0,7,1,19,5,33,16,9,30,0,3,0,0,3,12,0,5,13,106,27,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034809096549308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19027642135375591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22142086536517686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137350398702729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099899569604776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156074786560296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182949075847957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136665517695297,0.0,0.0,0.13635883745242472,0.0,0.0,0.1299502385321645,0.11930139517807685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700109807292676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763346519879526,0.3965797290785893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26279503968934803,0.0,0.12352163129178582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950609232866747,0.06834726742948152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784205517190705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575812689429395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759893437608952,0.0,0.12557230801952785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142193702375426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916903320506176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502028924961225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227945641668802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586312796626015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25354711566583155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17605112713030036,0.13255560373917866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130012379580599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873121892211036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443507336260674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741066890451448,0.0,0.10261342268387644,0.07335317958136844,0.0987144490319444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905385598409458,0.0,0.0,0.08834470199519177,0.0,0.0,0.08008641523307833
mentalhealth,NotBrokenYetBritches,2019/03/06,"Last night is a blur and I'm scared. I woke up today to a canvas hanging above my bed, with ""the ides of march approach"" written on it. The ""h"" is on the wall. My left arm is covered in scars. I can barely remember taking out a knife and some paints last night. Any explanation for what happened??",0.6752142857142864,2.9927829499999987,2.3061904761904763,93.79500000000004,86.16666666666666,4.761904761904762,20.238095238095237,6.18269132825596,0.045809523809523515,227,7,49,2,7,74,47,60,0.058,0.942,0.0,-0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,4,1,1,0,0,7,9,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,9,7,1,15,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,2,6,28,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193470454624912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25158331899883746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4638126184432581,0.0,0.0,0.3091111987679569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5339698832755815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222842039450463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848351600873585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21390936605596653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696737081947688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,j1404de,2019/03/06,"Diagnosis on record, never discussed I have a mental health disorder, actively managed by my med provider. I went to a new primary for a physical and disclosed this and my medications. However, when I reviewed my medical records they added two additonal, including schizophrenia. This was never discussed nor have I ever been diagnosed with it. 

They said I told them I had it and they will not change their records. They based this I believe either on the medications I was on or the fact that i already had a mental disorder. Or it was an error by the staff. My med provider sent a letter stating my diagnosis and purpose of medication, but this does not resolve that false information has been passed to other parties.

 I also had an extremely hard time getting anyone to work with me. I am just wondering if it was not a mental health diagnosis, say diabetes, if I would have been dismissed as I was. I've reached out to state agencies, nami, disability resource, and a lawyer to understand. Nothing has developed yet and through this process my medical information became public record.

Not really looking for anything, just wanted to vent and suggest checking your health records for accuracy. 

Has anyone else had to deal with this, what was outcome? How do you prove you have never been diagnosed with something you didnt even discuss or have history of?

Stay strong.

 I apparantly had been listed for anger issues because I said I felt angry on a new medication and that I overdosed because I said I felt very loopy on the meds. My doctor's words defending me, not mine. The whole situation which goes deeper than above has me distrusting the medical profession and regretting seeking help or being open. 

",6.750867362146053,8.591834740983607,7.033211624441132,69.3306222056632,65.52459016393442,10.397913561847991,37.47019374068555,10.537671172512404,4.536344262295082,1376,72,216,37,22,445,168,305,0.092,0.8590000000000001,0.049,-0.9205,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,4,6,3,8,5,2,0,16,0,31,14,0,1,6,48,44,21,0,5,15,0,3,0,0,2,14,4,0,0,16,15,0,0,8,0,1,3,10,3,0,1,25,8,40,2,28,16,2,22,0,1,1,0,26,7,0,7,9,167,56,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927409577886288,0.06720728520359398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752636661778434,0.08610958733417468,0.06915830220951003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246081223878546,0.0,0.0,0.09468504451866584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889038745748239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664222994359212,0.0,0.17059900111859194,0.0,0.0,0.19263575392806828,0.08601917631644873,0.07354454764846953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020518732219608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550806312927597,0.0760195881223753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138442530567035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04390777604591513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528392382845897,0.0,0.0,0.2679938740462173,0.0,0.0,0.056330682699653814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771661428388247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057298797178058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800506819674534,0.5926348618936877,0.2540796552276864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944520131220985,0.16233398566852486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806392795767452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0538385985915516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23982573749264036,0.06683250574306078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446522267481627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469860569659554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957616128069419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900478451147615,0.0,0.0,0.0803044518321465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820955129470031,0.08748929060668396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934234570709608,0.049569358512833096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790653351452399,0.0,0.09382839529643147,0.0,0.0,0.0911385105163042,0.06118260118517565,0.0,0.0,0.05970007341060603,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sheikah_42,2019/03/06,"What's the point in trying to get help if it's not even available? I've been paying for therapy sessions on betterhelp.com, but even my therapist recommended I get serious outside help to treat my disorders. 

I'd love to get help, but no one within 2 hours of me is accepting new patients, and the wait lists are over 3 months. My only option is a private practice 3 hours away, and I can't afford it. I don't know how much longer I can do this. 

Sorry for format, I'm on mobile.",4.8076870748299285,4.947158204081635,6.312653061224491,78.89544217687076,69.0,9.390476190476187,29.59863945578231,9.2995712137729,2.4226680272108845,376,13,76,7,6,129,71,98,0.057,0.711,0.233,0.9642,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,8,1,0,1,0,11,15,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,8,3,12,14,1,11,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,2,4,47,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238854735868244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346846383068037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704978583252972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209522738143254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117598823283868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4033152256815928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253646594914796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848132960722848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634457931893474,0.0,0.1505298176477063,0.0,0.0,0.197768544699887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875773402841204,0.15573712940227907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193574231669987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292237169796013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23417281770626214,0.23775423676268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139025671628916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kaleidoscopedreams20,2019/03/06,"Is this schizophrenia with something else in addition to it? This may be a bit long as there is a lot of detail to try to shorten as much as possible. My grandmother is 84. She sits and writes ""stories"" that she calls ""books"" that basically ramble from one topic to another, just sentences apart. They're more so, ""I remember when..."" or ""Back when I was living at x place..."" type of statements and just start out in the middle of nowhere and talk about odd things. 75% of it doesn't make sense from a common sense standpoint. The events that happened and the things she said/did/claimed to have seen earlier in life indicated that she was having severe mental issues possibly since childhood.

This grandmother somehow raised 3 kids - my mother (now 61) and her two brothers (in their late 50's). However, their lives were rough. My grandmother constantly moved them from apartment to apartment, claiming she couldn't pay the rent, the kids moved from school to school every year and such. My grandmother was never financially stable. Her day-to-day life has always been out of order, she never knew the right thing to say or do and that sort of thing. She quit or got fired from lots of jobs due to hallucinations, false accusations against the employer and general rebellion (""I'm not doing x tasks, I don't care what you say!"" mindset towards employers). She would get a car from the car lot and want to ""give it back"" to them when it needed repairs or maintenance, wanting to get another in a cycle. A lot of her jobs were nurses-aide related stuff, so sitting individually with older people in their homes. They said she left their dishes dirty/greasy and didn't wash them properly. My grandmother would claim that the woman she was sitting with was ""really a man with strap-on hips"" and just all sorts of absurd things. She would claim the house owners left the doors unlocked all night, that the house was surrounded by woods and just be scared all of the time. Yet say that she was never scared.

Present-day: She hates everyone and has for a lot of her life. She makes up blatant lies against neighbors, family members and people that she knows. She can't watch the TV/news without judging the reporters, saying they're ugly, that they ""must be Asian because they have black eyes"" and making odd comments that don't make sense. Sometimes given her description, I think she's hallucinating and not seeing what we see. She thinks a neighbor from 20 years ago two houses down has basically set up speakers/mics throughout the neighborhood to torment her. So she hears sounds of people dying (she calls them ""death tapes""), screams out of nowhere, footsteps, grinding sounds, loud music, sexual stuff, etc.  She once called the bomb squad from a store and told them that someone in the attic of the house next door said a bomb would go off in xx minutes. It was raining hard and she said there was a ""crackling noise like something was about to blow up.""  That in itself didn't even make sense. Bombs don't crackle. My mother had taken her by the store and she went in to buy something and made the call. When they came back, there were police  and bomb squad people everywhere. The authorities would not take her for a mental evaluation. We haven't been able to get her help.

She has problems functioning in general. Doesn't know when to go to bed or get up. Opens the blinds and curtains at times like 4am. She wants the curtains near her bed wide open all night long. A couple of years ago, she started running over to look out of the window every 1-2 minutes. She'll go from the living room window to the dining room to the kitchen window looking out of each curtain. Then back and repeat. Hundreds of times per day. She has nothing to do and nowhere to go, but she'll get up at 6am and be pacing from room to room for an hour or two, then go back to bed. The same during the day. She'll pace for hours from room to room for no reason. There are times when I go into the other room and she's so anxious that she's standing 2-3 feet from the TV and can't even sit down. The dog picks up her anxiety and likewise flips out. She runs to the bathroom sometimes 1-2 minutes apart, claiming to her daughter that she ""didn't finish"" the first time. She was too anxious to finish peeing. Unable to cook anything without burning it (decades-long problem), will drink out of dirty glasses, can't wash dishes/utensils/pots properly and is unable to open a package with ""open here"" on it. She seems to have had problems following directions for all of her life, so she'll rip a big hole in the side of a package rather than ""open here"" as directed. If you challenge any of her rants at the TV, she'll turn on you and start saying you're siding with them. Then if that fails, she'll start making up lies about what the TV or newspaper said and they didn't say any of those things. She is a very chronic liar for a lot of things. No idea why. She has done that for all of her life.

Supposedly decades ago, some doctor or something diagnosed her with paranoid schizophrenia with high anxiety. Boy is it high. I have come across a lot of people with mental issues and I have never seen anyone like my grandmother. I assume her hallucinations are the paranoid schizophrenia and her delusions are mostly the persecutory type. She relates events, objects and people that have no relation to one another. 

Is this some form of psychosis or something? Most days she just has this wild, blank stare out of her eyes. Every time we take a family photo, her mouth is hanging wide open and she's staring with wild eyes into space like she's see a ghost or something. ",6.052455553116772,6.790688790111942,5.616444249341531,82.87412203687447,66.41604477611939,8.395434591747149,29.663959613696232,8.313332769828598,1.9785453906935908,4461,149,851,56,68,1368,437,1072,0.077,0.9,0.023,-0.9942,6,0,7,0,0,0,160.0,3,3,15,4,38,15,2,2,63,0,79,23,7,9,12,155,139,66,3,17,24,4,3,4,2,14,11,15,23,5,46,68,5,0,11,6,5,17,26,9,0,6,37,33,101,6,147,83,24,155,0,1,15,0,119,73,0,29,62,555,147,14,0.04442513465122706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181406042272126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03696527085315753,0.0,0.0,0.060421229931227574,0.13975088154197465,0.06797021282249589,0.10037551408809883,0.0,0.031063087083968058,0.0,0.03655810055117128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080093173442149,0.0,0.027081149744195968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048500741030142416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145211802689828,0.0508105190500938,0.045294385556944025,0.0,0.0,0.03826831983178024,0.0,0.048007788239753456,0.0,0.0,0.04915556651201716,0.0,0.17190321990209484,0.0,0.0,0.04509057652925754,0.0461062759437542,0.0,0.0,0.0454710077696678,0.0,0.045462336825511145,0.0,0.04351971913280204,0.0,0.0,0.037111499492330335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954576839011532,0.058684764907423866,0.0,0.11229027595201528,0.042450119956568284,0.0,0.0,0.0837601264268864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03778799683974318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605149637725955,0.04261663721958845,0.15148696679953275,0.0,0.03553083849387071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03928499985581983,0.0,0.039796194661774975,0.043860623104051866,0.0,0.0,0.05007035547237342,0.0,0.029777231315069583,0.09387518773633194,0.0445620322592556,0.0,0.08749961773910052,0.20504256301905086,0.0,0.05015056957526056,0.0,0.09273659712709137,0.08817018246122496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04882978437334585,0.0,0.05011348690924695,0.0,0.09653607756949574,0.0,0.15689393205739127,0.0868155071614461,0.0,0.11768462340969132,0.11794453856662755,0.07461184870192418,0.0,0.0,0.2643806257583699,0.0,0.042036136561809344,0.17792473407910886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134310260475761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443377505642987,0.032657585590158744,0.03294067443504765,0.13705361026281945,0.042906071876691126,0.04724663469374418,0.08337995885804451,0.0,0.04262711485035962,0.0,0.0,0.047311318524009126,0.06020724194238599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479276832629807,0.0,0.04641481030261405,0.0,0.0,0.10016532864023996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752656234721307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04725159909949315,0.0,0.0,0.028459878828162408,0.04567643741718929,0.0,0.0,0.05032501739740805,0.037938822257336115,0.21129238153393912,0.21197190101398167,0.08895461962655804,0.08992121602357292,0.10620324172636547,0.04044297409510697,0.0,0.050187757044049416,0.0,0.036748930460169416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03764127242497373,0.20520383442132625,0.08787518823563045,0.0,0.12577735584420682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171230111062246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680434496299803,0.03570724043846448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20659859816813095,0.05693166495238022,0.0,0.0,0.15542791963559846,0.0,0.0,0.042450119956568284,0.0,0.030161750285756826,0.04832178950198262,0.13019070398913654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03665538866374173,0.07860928629852998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041182544898065984,0.04008677413506367,0.0,0.0,0.08564848897831183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577917051842491,0.0,0.0,0.08582499054041086
mentalhealth,Mira_Miraonthewall,2019/03/06,Motivation I’m in high school and ever since the new semester began I barely show up to class and and barely talk to friends.i just wanna be alone for a bit but feel like I never get the time to. March break is coming up and my grandma will come back home for vacation so hopefully a week off will get me back to where I was before. Any advice to get over this hump,4.080394736842109,4.611571513157898,5.243263157894738,84.54384210526318,70.71052631578948,8.185263157894736,23.094736842105263,8.238735603445708,1.0842031578947369,289,6,61,4,5,96,57,76,0.019,0.855,0.125,0.8476,0,1,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,1,2,14,14,6,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,13,9,1,19,0,0,0,1,1,7,0,1,10,40,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20836860652876635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22084485432082954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500560369968166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32792569428736484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144539199037135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232794970938614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673623212301961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192881258961243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781690141524464,0.1523335419364788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33421598292368365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22529214128248706,0.2138898661014649,0.21178826542029494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417476639227824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445826672182445,0.2059415494170866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215802959154406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638836060635682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138843291083694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243377498505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710424755710232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,marche_ck,2019/03/06,"Had I ran into a narcissist? After being unemployed for 1+ years after giving up my stressful job (high stress, I got down with clinical anxiety & depression), I finally landed another job in a much smaller company 2 1/2 months ago.

I just walked out from it yesterday afternoon, not with a concrete reason, but I have this intense gut feeling that I don't want to be there.

The job itself was ok, had some annoying customer but no big deal. I got along with the rest of the guys too. The only thing I can really put my finger on is that I don't like my boss.

Here's what I would describe him, based on my interactions with him.

* Not very agreeable, keep pushing his opinion, sneers at your rebuttal as if it is not good enough.

* Capable of saying whatever things that is convenient at the moment.

* (Maybe a cultural thing but) His manner of speech to those beneath him can be belittling

Now normally, I would just say that he is just another hypocritical stuck up boss, but my instinct is telling me something else, that I should stay away from him.

All this while I brushed this feeling off as just something in my head, but with my anxiety symptoms flaring up quickly in the last 2 weeks, I chose to trust my instinct this time, gave my notice and walked out (Still in probation, so 24 hrs notice). This is the most outrageous thing I had done in my working life so far.

Here are some other significant events.

* A sales guy dropped some hints, saying ""when 3 out of 4 guys in a group leave, who do you think is the problem?"" (3 out of 4 exec staff in the company had left, only my boss remained, and we new hires are the replacement for those 3)

* When I gave my notice, we had a long talk, I had a feeling that I had been gaslighted to feel that it was me who had not voiced my problems earlier, and the boss is always open to listen to our concern & ready to  compromise to make things work for us. I had no evidence for any manipulation here, but my instinct says otherwise.

What do you guys think?",5.323187660668381,5.983372136246787,5.948837017994856,80.12643290488435,67.99742930591259,9.617316195372752,31.498303341902318,9.692545771848811,2.854652565552699,1567,62,307,33,25,510,210,389,0.115,0.8240000000000001,0.061,-0.9652,5,0,2,0,0,0,61.0,4,3,0,2,17,11,2,2,19,1,36,6,3,7,1,59,53,17,0,8,15,0,5,1,0,3,3,7,0,4,28,17,0,1,7,0,1,5,8,7,0,0,19,13,48,4,52,28,8,57,0,1,0,0,34,29,0,6,22,224,76,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844897467006884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363821141259137,0.1917771390064333,0.0,0.06018231708837154,0.1855977195633956,0.13540290077853553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314767166192029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123852591039427,0.07622401130805609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056514650646648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392951227952556,0.0,0.0,0.0914430670343002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899090194876915,0.0,0.0,0.09694626801868754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489625177470331,0.0,0.07422871592926826,0.14156138106342586,0.0,0.0,0.3505114757661031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908254491091311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350399390262053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634646407228411,0.07866192824430203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213845164848702,0.0,0.09370760409606574,0.09615436225591224,0.0,0.06250942179804451,0.0432361140788167,0.0,0.0,0.0783187810745517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907373272827584,0.0,0.08890908492065829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063901325317984,0.0,0.06505690710250775,0.0,0.0,0.08547283216970501,0.0,0.0,0.08671017560613849,0.0,0.3022699049937677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346148705719857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693630758836608,0.0,0.08896588289884245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566946900578693,0.09099165453061124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815116513443708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626162244573647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432809978786467,0.0706753714789496,0.0,0.20275048407273646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198428908352037,0.0,0.07113209939169908,0.07735197833217347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939738319300687,0.1134131005420751,0.0,0.0,0.05160444628784951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645333377013512,0.0,0.0,0.07302089765698963,0.0521989704556217,0.0,0.07098851518672697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12885657137710402,0.0,0.0,0.1257342221748498,0.0,0.0,0.056990418772657085
mentalhealth,tquilla,2019/03/06,"What am I feeling? i dont know  how i feel now   
i dont know  if im okay 
I've confronted something emotional about myself and I feel like I'm floating. 
it's not a bad energy, it's also not a good one. 
I'm just not sure. Yet it's definitely keeping me up (+8 timezone. It's 00hr right now)",-2.6586363636363606,-1.0434253484848457,1.4106060606060602,95.6359090909091,105.51515151515152,4.8242424242424224,18.12121212121212,6.574015621080383,0.1480484848484851,221,8,55,4,11,82,43,66,0.133,0.65,0.217,0.6209,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,1,14,11,4,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,3,7,4,2,11,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,31,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19016684080933474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19855125739169796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.557394577542503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26749055495206325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36071318755084203,0.16988281911753436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19945353973589816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568624655116373,0.0,0.0,0.2113656397576313,0.0,0.0,0.2613749396832786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617600937166182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113796562019725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030780497277544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830683892798048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22412164299562248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Heisenber49,2019/03/06,"Myownhell.com Please check out my personal blog, I write about all aspects on mental health and awareness, from my own experiences, news and other people's stories. https://t.co/ASByrgMF6d",9.814523809523813,14.208289500000005,7.857142857142858,55.35452380952384,64.71428571428572,9.447619047619048,34.333333333333336,9.725611199111238,4.590176190476192,158,7,18,4,3,47,26,28,0.0,0.916,0.084,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152079847516804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511861921757253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4277606440053589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942704202448329,0.3706262570181121,0.0,0.465934843305598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,british_drunk,2019/03/06,"Lexapro help Lexapro Side Effects

So I have been on Lexapro for about 10 years now. Recently, I have been noticing that having extreme night sweats are not normal. 

Does anyone have any suggestions that could help this? ",5.258684210526315,8.472472500000002,3.020263157894739,90.32934210526315,74.0,5.905263157894738,30.552631578947373,7.1686216300943375,1.880768421052632,177,8,30,2,4,48,30,38,0.0,0.863,0.13699999999999998,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,8,1,1,1,0,4,8,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,3,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23084278344438636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373566209426835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27102924226964986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29706160108513685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550624982551296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31855792753933365,0.332596338231386,0.0,0.3864746855668112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33517339115457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21859954112141267
mentalhealth,ZenBuddhism,2019/03/06,"Normal or not? Is it normal to have violently changing, extreme emotions and/or opinions?

I go from being hesitant of life, with no outlook for tomorrow, to extremely optimistic of my life and the future. All within a fraction of time which I dont notice.

Also, my opinions change. For example, when having an S/O they can say ""I'm going to do x and y"" and I'll be like ""Ok!"" 
Other times they can say the exact same thing, and I flip out. 

I hope that all makes sense. I'm typing this on a time crunch.",1.1615031503150313,3.4483287326732714,3.529522952295231,86.11149414941498,83.45544554455445,6.0489648964896485,22.05310531053105,7.348242739294969,1.018516831683168,386,13,76,6,11,133,74,101,0.087,0.833,0.08,-0.1677,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,0,2,4,1,0,5,1,9,2,0,1,3,18,15,7,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,2,8,3,13,13,3,11,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,7,53,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364653966758436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4329534035822907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398307019670175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230186837649344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23259757845859694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032487331952822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890795117947486,0.09997432699175426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659545493922376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4009977137981394,0.0,0.2329783096489328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254679390495897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359504045475497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579729513622665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ifouree,2019/03/06,I’m 15 and had a weed induced psychosis After a week I’m fine. The stuff I did was extremely a hybrid with extremely high THC. I learned through research it’s not uncommon for minors to experience psychosis with high THC strains while the brain is developing. I plan on taking a long break and smoking a high CBD (indica) strain in small doses once I begin again. Any have any advice or similar experience?,4.927705627705631,6.787608285714293,5.9656493506493495,75.14942640692642,70.03896103896105,9.28917748917749,32.31385281385281,9.725611199111238,3.3870969696969686,326,15,57,8,6,108,57,77,0.051,0.923,0.027000000000000003,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,7,0,5,2,1,1,0,8,9,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,4,1,8,6,0,13,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,6,32,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066457702819116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28761333265025724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360701531593612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137159427637549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6702881328817673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18714405429821931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22520835819224866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420822443307572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589989173689014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169628259765799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheLethalBranches,2019/03/06,"I was doing so good Over a year ago I was so depressed that I couldn’t function. I was having panic attacks multiple times a day. I lost 20 lbs way too quickly. Constant suicidal thoughts.

I worked through it and tried hard to find a little bit of purpose in my life. I was working hard in school and found something that I really enjoy, and found that I was happier than I’d ever been before. I still had my struggles but I was doing really good. 

Fast forward. My mental health is in decline. It started with the winter blues, but now it’s gotten worse. It’s scares me because this is exactly how I felt before my last depressive episode. I’m having panic attacks again and I’ve lost interest in a lot of the things I used to love doing. I stopped going to class and hardly ever leave the house other than to go to work, which I’m really not enjoying right now either.

I’m working through some stuff with my therapist but I don’t think I’m making much progress.",2.2693100627215688,4.5316726476683975,3.717692937005726,86.5009026452141,79.0,6.342950640850832,25.183801472593398,7.475848149327749,1.4014310880829008,763,29,146,11,19,251,115,193,0.207,0.6659999999999999,0.126,-0.9194,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,7,11,16,2,4,7,0,17,3,0,3,3,28,35,11,1,1,5,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,7,0,1,6,0,0,3,3,10,0,0,15,5,21,6,18,19,5,28,0,4,1,1,1,8,0,2,18,99,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722732312962637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495603949426892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686171229927347,0.0,0.18666423505994906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974538096389192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852831049386232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073643315849214,0.0,0.1889395395887119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842902741399446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531283891468814,0.0,0.10024823525256844,0.0,0.0,0.24052340117458934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467070375413353,0.18399372023674854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29476315553977755,0.0,0.0,0.1165878538530854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655940559377146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940624881327364,0.0,0.11613841406428785,0.0,0.0,0.07747231595269558,0.0,0.10993113725372483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23946380761056016,0.09324852739652838,0.09899315063457192,0.0,0.07321422522857582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105346225399884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062959337928663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25737863409960204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21079713176010226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366864563373774,0.0,0.0,0.10981177389702464,0.11100500776665706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443929861044762,0.0,0.0,0.07763416121227518,0.0,0.08759295081917715,0.09169986299022594,0.0,0.11466444095505653,0.1255607438826158,0.11997535224955475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735036641871353,0.07286848265111733,0.07028040978172458,0.0,0.08707601583045284,0.06395701403690239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446752774892854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473085826345956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706122562288214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31940199487240706,0.0,0.1117763032463655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063222794951278
mentalhealth,Help61234,2019/03/06,Throwaway Ive been thinking about ending it and I would like someone to talk to.,1.7043749999999989,4.387680687500001,2.2800000000000007,92.965,85.875,3.2,26.75,3.1291,0.4419749999999998,65,3,12,0,2,20,14,16,0.0,0.8390000000000001,0.161,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4873940051913232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688441183705337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4662593138167451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423026203036121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526039015823754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.390910548158673,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kiero564,2019/03/06,"I dont know what to do Hi, I am a 16 year old college student in the UK. I really do not know where to start because I dont entirely know what my issue is.

Over the last few years (since year 8 (about 12-13 years old)) I have has constant what people say mental illness symptoms. I had bad facial eczema on my face (google it if your interested) and was bullied for it. Verbal abuse, people laughing at me, trying to hurt me etc.. This continued well into year 9 until I eventually stopped feeling any of it at all. I felt dead inside, barely feeling happiness or anger or anything and lacked empathy when talking to my friends. This caused me to lose many friends but some of them still stuck around which I am incredibly grateful for. This continued until yr 11(15-16 years old) when it finally started to see an improvement and felt true happiness in a long time. I got pretty good at masking my emotions, smiling whenever I had to so that people would not ask anything. I was afraid of them worrying. I started to punch walls and furniture when I got angry or upset and I managed to hide all of this aswell.

Now that I have gone to college, it feels like its starting all again. I feel like my eczema is getting bad again and even though people say its fine, I feel like my eczema is getting bad like they are lying to me even though I 100% trust them. I opened up to some of them about all of this and they all said i should of and still should go to the doctors about this. I have occasional, what I think are panic attacks but im not entirely sure. I have weeks were I just feel down and tired all the time. I have lost a fair amount of weight for no reason even though I eat the same amount. There are mornings that I have to force myself out of bed. But when I talk to my friends about this, I always feel like im lying or that they think im lying and I have no explanation or reason for this. I do not want to go the doctors because of this because parts of me think this is all made up and I could never tell my family about this.

I rarely punch things now and I rarely have thoughts of suicide. I got pretty good at controlling this i guess. I really have no idea what to do I feel lost but I never know why or anything.

Thanks for anybody who reads this and even more if you respond. I had to force myself to this and It helped a little and I understand if you dont care about any of this.",3.2807216437749247,4.571636506147545,4.0861608329641115,89.25821887461235,73.28278688524591,7.078954364200268,25.074435090828533,7.534196372845213,1.0503553832521044,1877,58,402,22,37,601,211,488,0.177,0.6729999999999999,0.149,-0.9394,0,0,0,0,1,1,47.0,0,3,7,4,29,33,2,3,11,0,36,9,2,5,11,84,78,38,2,9,18,0,11,5,3,3,5,3,1,0,35,19,2,2,22,1,0,3,12,12,1,0,18,15,67,21,59,56,17,58,0,4,1,0,24,18,0,12,42,282,102,7,0.0,0.0766286522791302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053814326644216384,0.0,0.0,0.0879616929274209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15966469492686994,0.05757397579099709,0.06046188402847109,0.07357652806906266,0.0,0.0,0.16200140276945835,0.118274840513764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593991612270995,0.06643847959914717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989010869319201,0.07253789947907475,0.05163728886638119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239408820669224,0.0,0.0,0.22739393505787686,0.0,0.0,0.0661781123802383,0.0,0.07275005574392139,0.0,0.0,0.07212911206781017,0.1708674674838691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060969319299770536,0.0,0.26161077731355525,0.18481377128175586,0.12419523619072105,0.07084770303374492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499019680565478,0.0,0.06757946569259324,0.0,0.07351196519994542,0.1084917270197402,0.1551782068294026,0.0,0.07124620248215516,0.0,0.0,0.1376943176807746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04334992319994498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923534057634173,0.07300958630162564,0.2095785253558751,0.06750332696729186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217355401898416,0.05271831194905821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579833568218768,0.06482079344096353,0.0,0.05723485655440747,0.0,0.07235417087914163,0.14119961275289,0.0,0.0,0.06119653208505747,0.0,0.06556974524267205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651766379820353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976185187105817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20359488000142045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588153681418565,0.0,0.07003613114224602,0.0,0.17934849236741462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159434109467907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469195577012872,0.0,0.08286422256163323,0.13299222033985275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061520216002045235,0.10286344323816876,0.0,0.0,0.051537166363899024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534993766301654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310764551770667,0.0,0.10329820492677516,0.05407073942785656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074335552652276,0.0,0.0609549074518641,0.0672215210543555,0.0,0.1039657525114529,0.05652832338934515,0.05954354790507075,0.0,0.0,0.042966833422115484,0.12432233594271527,0.190626967890674,0.0513442922252367,0.07542438838631013,0.07433377081256122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04390970888558655,0.0,0.0,0.06732838742323155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038146668593722906,0.0,0.051877945851265296,0.07875606150493117,0.05815010118567951,0.0,0.05835863521700591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568004735323026,0.0,0.04594287648135949,0.0,0.0,0.24988936742953335
mentalhealth,iMylene,2019/03/06,"Interest in everything is gone (antidepressant) I'm using antidepressant for 5 weeks now (also having a lot of therapy sessions next to it) , and I'm noticing that I really don't care for anything although I should (my thesis or eating at all for example). Yes, it keeps my anxiety and (good and bad) emotions on a low, but I feel numb in this world.

Is this feeling temporary? And how are other people deal with it?",5.846582278481016,6.515843784810129,7.301113924050636,70.8587594936709,66.84810126582278,10.876962025316457,33.52151898734177,10.793553405168565,3.910304303797469,325,14,57,9,5,112,61,79,0.108,0.8170000000000001,0.075,-0.3665,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,1,6,2,0,2,1,15,14,9,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,5,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,2,5,3,10,12,2,10,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,3,42,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935236515002685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512583541865696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914161291591287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20205606916999866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24673046082412156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494866540437673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24762173087483225,0.0,0.27221227799676145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174898812908432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447203129702639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20297427853389569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150966500442556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573585390093446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257364876618561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755133918212183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776915551263316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550284639460055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767428551062425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20900634637075066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411413054684168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lucydawnnn,2019/03/06,"In a pit of loneliness Small back story, I’m depressed and have anxiety. I’m also borderline anorexic. I have been Medically Suspended from my job following an overdose and just want to be back. The other day I tried to write what was on my mind and here is it. Hopefully someone can make me feel not alone?🤞🏼


Do you know what’s really sad? Because i’m sat constantly trying to distract myself and keep busy, I keep finding myself checking my phone over and over again to see if anyone has messaged me. To see if anyone cares enough just to ask me how I am to check i’m okay. Not one single person has messaged me. ‘Friends’ saw me get taken to A&E last weekend, not even one of them has sent me a message just checking in, am I expecting too much here? I assumed that once I opened up and allowed people in I wouldn’t feel so alone, but the truth is, in this week, I have never felt more alone than I do now. Knowing people know, yet still no one cares enough to speak to me. I have been so proud of myself this week and I have been trying so fucking hard, but I have no one to share that with and no one who cares about my progress and how i’m getting on. This time last week I had spent the night in hospital on a drip, 7 days on and I have been free from self harm, I have been eating at least 1000 calories a day, I have cut down on pointlessly walking to burn calories and I have been fighting against my mind. That takes a lot of courage and a lot of power and I am exhausted. Who am I fighting for if no one is interested in if i’m okay or not? All I want is to be back at work and for things to go back to normal, I am fighting so hard to achieve that, but it’s extremely demotivating when I have no one to share my pride with and no one checking in and showing they care. Maybe i’m asking too much, maybe I really am alone. 

Maybe I really am a burden to people and should leave everyone alone. I should have learned by now not to expect anything from anyone but I can’t help myself, I just want to feel loved and cared about. I waste too much time checking to see if my messages have been read, if people have been online since I wrote to them. I waste too much time thinking about reaching out to someone yet never doing it because I fear the rejection I am so used to receiving. I waste too much of my time worrying that a little message will annoy someone and make them want to mute me or never speak to me again. I don’t want this life. I just want someone to care and support me throughout my recovery by just being there and just being a hand to hold when things are all a little too much. Obviously my s/o is the light of my life and is my absolute rock, but everyone should have a friend, shouldn’t they? A friend who can provide love and kindness, a friend who can put a smile on my face and distract my mind. A friend who I can talk to about complete nonsense and have a laugh with. Why can I not have that? I guess I don’t deserve it. I just want a friend. This sucks. I’m not giving up, i’ve been doing it alone all these years, so maybe thats just how it’s supposed to be. No one wants to be my friend and I need to accept that and move on. I want to work on me and discover who I am. Lonely. 

",3.281847870759698,4.044759369985144,4.3192823495937525,89.5994293572761,72.6849925705795,7.3324144035914145,25.61186810407512,7.459000224883572,1.0343177199582687,2508,76,561,27,47,817,252,673,0.156,0.6629999999999999,0.182,0.9779,3,9,0,0,6,0,61.0,0,1,5,7,46,47,7,3,23,2,71,10,2,7,8,119,132,53,0,25,29,0,7,0,7,6,4,2,0,2,31,33,1,3,12,4,7,7,22,17,0,9,18,14,80,31,79,102,16,66,0,4,4,3,45,27,2,13,32,409,111,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761187671852177,0.0,0.042640227115316835,0.0,0.057772526118776875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0407898859181734,0.0,0.0,0.1118483870336202,0.0,0.04387806625710168,0.0,0.09969457135075092,0.0,0.0,0.16400008723489404,0.0,0.06500712372247426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261816156603285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590532332646825,0.05762030525334062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316155323928032,0.0,0.0459246989186223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054559981487203695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018825301055206,0.0,0.035217557313817836,0.0,0.0,0.1018996691837996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000016490056684,0.08088104201130933,0.0,0.05119585270452702,0.0,0.048733791043624186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28836593729298904,0.04929376101286718,0.055715315298174535,0.051149693320597225,0.0303031570117333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058738325235470464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955290367838289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03573947521608328,0.0,0.0,0.05295909196706328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052912173357026665,0.09478707060897057,0.0,0.055524890516767164,0.08791033239218768,0.08692632716541948,0.0,0.056458502126119976,0.0,0.0,0.0753234138793993,0.0,0.10688190288065423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066202986653872,0.09624731060094427,0.0,0.0711834327002547,0.0,0.2142696447506383,0.0,0.0,0.05371459578069231,0.0,0.0,0.16151491862700512,0.0,0.0,0.056671043850246086,0.2351793472939684,0.03953632912058743,0.12337171450147275,0.0,0.0,0.05003749243162571,0.05224257605387802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056784382602197425,0.3251809558139984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786233803558965,0.04655723199640866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360163176989518,0.0,0.0,0.053334732319189095,0.0,0.10247505450754496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746813447448513,0.0,0.055624704846711316,0.0,0.0,0.044107105711138316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071247910189314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042581662922658386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050724806999579,0.0,0.0,0.040090232128523313,0.042856839884888594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084728021872133,0.034165497239265326,0.0,0.0,0.1243659900843465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860295728024567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605162215936701,0.0,0.0,0.28304726618406306,0.0,0.1283109927180881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04811328009423727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763563137950505,0.05414935601488973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03433652701381591
mentalhealth,StrivingAim,2019/03/06,"What can I do about my anxiety without my parents knowing? Anxiety is just the tip of the iceberg. Along with anxiety, I have a severe phobia. I can not be seen naked or see anybody else naked without having a severe anxiety attack. I can also not show much skin without having problems. Because of this, I wear long sleeve and jeans/joggers every day to prevent my anxiety being triggered. During my anxiety attacks, along with the common symptoms, I often hear voices and lose touch with reality.

I have no way to treat or cope with my anxiety because if my parents find out, they might abandon me again. The closer my parents get to me, the angrier they get. I don’t want to lose them again.

What can I do about my anxiety without my parents knowing?",4.79327784891165,6.586034845070423,5.8980665813060185,75.76889244558261,70.26760563380283,7.980537772087067,34.740076824583866,8.575989854853784,3.243822535211268,596,31,97,10,11,198,79,142,0.267,0.6859999999999999,0.047,-0.9821,4,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,2,7,7,2,0,7,0,15,3,2,1,0,29,23,6,0,3,10,4,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,9,0,2,3,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,1,6,23,1,19,19,1,8,0,3,2,0,8,2,0,5,5,81,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927918357689373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6067113751607217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22556347925517706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086501512907305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393464787148981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281557448579932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352652447666024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906086910863949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358914594012182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173370275727476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089653261176383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773241764659685,0.0,0.22181610019439327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516784217292076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287651399068627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4403160738965246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485995506744198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899871644583598,0.0,0.0,0.22399137672222832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304047070291944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058473099477578734,0.07868970140164683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822550376896212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hvlsey,2019/03/06,"Should I still take the prescribed antidepressant even though I feel a little better since my last visit to my psychiatrist? *(tw: mentions of self-harming)*  


I have a long history of self-harming and dealing with passive suicidal ideations (w/o the actual attempt or intent of dying). My depression was manageable for the most part, in the sense that I could still function and pretend that I was okay, so I never really felt compelled to get help before.

​

But two months ago, it got really bad to the point that I could barely get out of bed, I lost my appetite and interest in everything, and I felt hopeless and was tempted to self-harm literally every second of my waking moment. I was forced to look for help, but since mental health resources were scarce where I'm from, it took me a really long time before I finally found a psychiatrist who was available to help me.

​

By that time, the worst of...my 'episode' had worn out. It felt bizarre; like one day, I just woke up randomly feeling a lot more clear-headed. I still have a constantly low mood, and I'm unmotivated / withdrawn, but I can at least eat now, get out of the bed, and force myself to do things if I really have to.

​

I still went to see my psychiatrist since my appointment with them was already booked, and I was told that I may have dysthymia (or the kind of depression that was considerably milder but doesn't really go away). I was prescribed with antidepressants (20mg fluoxetine) and was advised that I check back with them again by the end of the month.

​

Since this was my first appointment with a psychiatrist, I still feel hesitant to take the antidepressants because I heard the side effects could be really bad, and that once I start taking them, I can't just randomly decide to stop on my own. And also because I feel relatively 'better' now, so I'm not sure if I should still take the medications. I still have healing wounds and past journals to prove that I was definitely feeling suicidal not too long ago, but on 'okay' days like this, I get doubts and fears that maybe I was just overreacting at that time.

​

**For those of you may have longer experiences with antidepressants (and/or therapy), do you recommend that I still take the medications anyway and that I keep seeing my psychiatrist?**

​

(Sorry if this was all over the place, I just feel troubled since I'm not very financially-secured, so every medical decision or purchase counts for me, and nobody from my family knows that I'm even self-harming or seeing a psychiatrist.)",8.14769230769231,8.182603583864122,7.809607218683647,71.33705658990692,61.993630573248396,11.322586967172954,35.1005226196309,10.891193690592663,3.829476171811203,2052,80,360,48,26,652,218,471,0.142,0.794,0.064,-0.9909,0,0,0,0,0,1,95.0,0,2,3,6,26,21,0,2,23,2,35,8,1,3,4,78,75,32,3,8,19,0,9,2,0,4,6,1,2,0,23,24,1,2,16,2,2,4,6,11,0,4,28,14,53,9,47,39,8,56,0,5,4,0,15,18,0,14,36,250,76,3,0.0,0.0,0.0497066331322392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903041893710386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620964552664614,0.04073386525414362,0.0,0.33113777109340303,0.3713602139975608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785647689531747,0.039166990345921,0.08505962585499507,0.062100781290621285,0.0,0.08668634437862711,0.0,0.0,0.0900983115934807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504421314981922,0.0,0.1220058455188843,0.0,0.0,0.06569960017165016,0.05251324925786585,0.08774298938554688,0.0,0.052863999231084376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05212071052431149,0.0,0.0,0.04511458104647402,0.0,0.0,0.0672860972490379,0.0,0.08583232166812678,0.0,0.04577840201939661,0.049825627655351035,0.048018357245205784,0.05731767388753335,0.15453001495481944,0.0,0.1467209562461327,0.055798397511212114,0.0,0.04332652323335195,0.0,0.05584919462114135,0.0,0.0,0.10644878320231738,0.0,0.02894836162933345,0.0,0.04073853679076436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05227549875925872,0.05414307055782689,0.0,0.0,0.10242489776862376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04527466225237197,0.0,0.05304248034243297,0.02799334397247337,0.041520009828018616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0497699587516848,0.05105171014067058,0.0,0.13523148136498822,0.04277379414919561,0.0,0.055603158489572514,0.0433043531670609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117251611794605,0.0,0.0,0.15393936111978804,0.051331967005814966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131398602246205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03928533480121863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05424566297928501,0.034515860656700495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05515921784734618,0.04862461058596273,0.0,0.0,0.05321775497855415,0.0,0.04815141479379485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19578718710538665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217692813839544,0.0,0.21255132866903004,0.0,0.0,0.21067581276348316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701919197425665,0.03605308554277575,0.0,0.32542335482371265,0.042585157783925284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143243052116404,0.0,0.04800700672876106,0.0,0.19148937798973467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058250276297256785,0.0,0.03383991785793407,0.0,0.0500448091481273,0.0,0.08910437089008029,0.0,0.0,0.04867196629545746,0.05659227652476704,0.0,0.0,0.0497575159035616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04202791048444327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047218604783463895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713602139975608,0.0
mentalhealth,spacespiders,2019/03/06,"How do you start therapy? I'm not sure where I should post this really.

Basically I am finally feeling ready to start therapy but it seems daunting. I know where I want to go, I think, and that my insurance covers it. The place I found is some kind of medical system with multiple locations and like 60 mental health providers. The only numbers I can find are for individual locations around me. Do I just call one of them and they sort it out and find who would work with me best?

Sorry if this sounds dumb. I have anxiety problems.",2.503371579876436,5.072566786407768,3.986090026478376,83.16197705207415,80.16504854368931,8.405648720211827,24.897616946160635,9.095868883498916,2.356425242718447,421,16,82,12,11,139,77,103,0.118,0.7559999999999999,0.126,0.2213,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,2,2,5,6,1,0,2,0,9,2,0,1,1,27,19,7,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,2,15,4,9,16,2,11,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,4,4,56,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739714327175415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598863072233961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884841059310873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18339653226195027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081355886023257,0.0,0.0,0.1967482262202323,0.3283109780512183,0.0,0.0,0.19692733963067893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207351925131417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091145211166333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18703071032816335,0.09870607433574166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877458093799242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093289172392552,0.18099934598946496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170482780094098,0.13659750679004473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876487383593682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720117045656424,0.0,0.0,0.17185749100156014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505940283169484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350542025203585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105281480873485,0.2542503350165957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16927535272188707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41078737202160026,0.0,0.0,0.11508347261747552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593553581336627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075439814959672,0.0,0.0,0.12758606232946354,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,haveufinishederrands,2019/03/06,"Feeling very numb...don’t want to do anything. Meds? (USA) I feel...blah. And usually when I start feeling that way I spiral into being completely catatonic. I don’t clean, don’t see people and basically just sleep. I’ve tried talk therapy, doesn’t really do much for me. 

On a positive note, I am noticing that I’m feeling apathetic and realizing I need to go to the doctor to avoid a spiral. I’m in nursing school so shutting down isn’t an option right now. 

Meds...I’m predisposed to weight gain. Being depressed makes me eat mindlessly. I want to try Wellbutrin...but how do I bring this up to the doctor? Has anyone had positive experiences with this drug? 


",1.5227822222222225,4.257691416,3.5439333333333347,82.0231888888889,90.84,6.937777777777778,23.74444444444445,7.984000788550335,2.0445911111111106,517,21,93,13,18,174,86,125,0.063,0.757,0.179,0.9013,0,1,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,5,0,12,6,1,2,0,17,25,6,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,4,5,2,1,4,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,5,10,0,14,22,1,14,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,1,4,54,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171201620609295,0.0,0.1432426891351888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825064213936139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499240493480645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563308450064207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018629923383662,0.1781144688920347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17027137807159354,0.0,0.0,0.35205495428690003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892654963900066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619138206902987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933497087962794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795961250910926,0.12906881694792582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19817695839338395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067646052317853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111512072956345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865266085572554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616556384669904,0.13870923006029168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419317073174528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232058450234534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990883182902505,0.0,0.0,0.19906131211815875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363607602593256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171071654848187,0.14362388538596152,0.2053389972059808,0.13816664860093453,0.0,0.211967273807708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coocoobanane,2019/03/06,"A vacation has haunted me for two years--is this PTSD or something else? I know this is a long one, but I really need your help. 

Almost two years ago, I went on vacation with a friend. A few nights into our trip, we ended up meeting a guy who gave us some MDMA--we were drunk, stupid, and figured we were on vacation, so why not? 

There are few things I regret more in my life than taking that pill. I have never felt so immediately out of control and out of touch with reality, and yet so convinced that I was finally seeing the world clearly. We were on the beach and saw headlights coming towards us, but I'd lost my shoes. Instead of leaving them behind, I insisted on running back along the shore to find them, despite knowing that the beach was closed at this point and that there were patrol cars on the way.

I managed to run back to my friend before they caught up to us and she couldn't believe how unreasonable I was being. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning. After that, my mind was racing a mile a minute and I couldn't stop rambling about this sudden ""revelation"" I'd had about the human condition. 

Essentially, I had this thought pop into my head that humans are animals, and that we are sentient beings, but we're the first species of our kind and that our brains are still grappling with instinct and emotion vs. rational thought. I suddenly saw this as a way to explain all of the problems in the world. Here are some pieces of ""evidence"" I thought of to support this: 

\- humans self-medicate with drugs and alcohol to numb not only our emotions, but consciousness in general (being heavily intoxicated allows us to run at an almost-instinct and emotion only level, removing rational thought)

\- since developing consciousness, humans have always been at war with their consciousness vs their animal/bodily instincts. However, it looks like we've slowly evolved to be less violent and more empathetic throughout history. This would suggest that as conditions became less dire, our survival instincts were deemed less essential, allowing us to slowly evolve past the extremely territorial, war-hungry, violent traits of our ancestors... 

\- I was then convinced that although human bodies haven't really evolved for some time, our collective consciousness is constantly evolving, and maybe that IS our evolution from now on--our evolution is now less concerned with evolving our bodies, but evolving this consciousness that nature has only just started to form in our species

\- maybe the current political dichotomy in our country (republicans vs. democrats) represents a pull between two camps: those who still prioritize our primal hardwiring for safety, shelter, reproduction, more of a survival of the fittest mentality (right to bare arms, right to property, anti-abortion, etc) and those who prioritize rational thought/compassion and are less affected by the aforementioned instincts (support social programs, reproductive rights, race and gender equality, etc)

\- technology can be seen as the evolution of our consciousness. Like, in some way, we recognized that perfect consciousness isn't currently attainable in a human body with the flaw of our animal instincts, so we're building machines in our likeness that are free of said flaws

Clearly, I was out of my mind. I've tried MDMA before, and that was definitely not what we were given. For 5-6 hours straight, all I could think about was this huge revelation that humans are animals and that we're the first animals to have rational thought and that we're an imperfect evolution, caught between primal instinct and sentience, and that we're all doomed to grapple with this polarity forever (or until we naturally evolve to a point where our brains are more equipped to handle this division, or evolve to phase out the primal instincts in general, but then what would keep us reproducing and evolving? Isn't that the very essence of nature itself?). I sat outside smoking and rambling all of these weird theories into my phone's voice recorder because my friend had long since fallen asleep. I couldn't find any paper in our cottage so I wrote out my thoughts on the back of a cereal box. I finally tried to go to bed, but I could hear what sounded like faint sports commentary and cheering, like there was someone watching a game on tv in another room.

Since then, I haven't experienced the same kind of total break from reality, but sometimes I still find thoughts like the ones above popping into my head. Like, I'll be reading something in the news and I'll suddenly start to think ""it's because we're all animals and..."" but then I'll immediately feel deeply disturbed and have to try to focus on something else. 

It's been two years and I'm still getting these random thoughts about the strange theories I came up with during that one horrible drug trip almost two years ago. Every time, it sends me into a panic and I can't stop worrying about having caused some serious irreversible damage to my mental health. I've been really stressed out lately and I've noticed these kinds of thoughts popping into my head more and more. Does this sound like I'm schizophrenic or is it maybe PTSD? 

Why is it that I can't think about human nature without feeling like I'm going to have a complete breakdown? Were these revelations factual in any way? Are they common knowledge, even? If so, again: why can't I think about it without feeling like I'm going to break my brain?

Thank you to anyone who read all this. Any insight/support would be greatly appreciated. I'm feeling so scared right now. ",9.135229083476847,9.041449549648947,8.434479286917359,68.09657462954904,60.02306920762288,11.737166215628015,39.97481122613122,11.169944260094475,4.6816971631876765,4479,211,723,105,53,1410,412,997,0.09,0.795,0.114,0.9846,3,0,6,0,0,0,141.0,30,2,6,8,35,41,4,4,42,0,70,23,12,6,12,167,126,63,1,12,23,0,6,10,3,3,10,5,2,9,59,64,2,4,33,8,1,18,16,16,0,10,46,18,81,26,121,65,31,128,1,4,6,0,67,55,0,13,59,497,140,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119745610466811,0.048946019921241216,0.13758554590828795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038109073215723335,0.0,0.0,0.0934362317151744,0.048025046696770594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03202426041166721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056515761289194,0.0,0.05583822298866645,0.0,0.07794445298254457,0.05160065115630342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261964146237125,0.0,0.15338305306212688,0.0,0.0523827296789178,0.0,0.047048974525399065,0.0,0.039452441944908885,0.04802018196472847,0.049493275031621466,0.05136833060160447,0.07313477078624257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04007968277301375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062263732970452,0.0,0.07651965310448629,0.15455571259615591,0.04056499747924635,0.0,0.10215768863746297,0.030250312670351973,0.0,0.038588277130610166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926309487488129,0.06543872217908095,0.043974956523449404,0.10034280722042564,0.1255804657499185,0.07791451300123703,0.0,0.0,0.10615435390683192,0.0,0.02392848676696473,0.0,0.07808718529243673,0.0,0.0,0.050494402325659916,0.0,0.04534896773252438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101131560179322,0.04868300823705779,0.051619663500206206,0.0,0.03069861689517648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04510354261995559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04070893528301395,0.0,0.1430802213923208,0.05034070587995888,0.0,0.05166412953677989,0.048495337907628264,0.0,0.0,0.03234972830378772,0.22375451621999265,0.0,0.0,0.0810627011406731,0.038460267425569565,0.0,0.04999585348346992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803605879833913,0.0,0.05087321382079042,0.0,0.09231078129931494,0.0,0.09248941270696544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03395994523636251,0.03532360204212365,0.0,0.0,0.04297997665792562,0.0,0.0,0.052143335728129694,0.0,0.0,0.0931053177080874,0.1393311396391613,0.0,0.05373615582504359,0.0,0.0,0.04372105780649986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659116296437792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382418947363871,0.10707494817133836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162431763613382,0.0,0.08802150620901608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15645099540772184,0.04356606431906411,0.0,0.04585355434959233,0.0,0.03649648279123871,0.0,0.047779143193127024,0.0,0.0,0.11365811605190733,0.0,0.0,0.04668709246355296,0.03880599204790571,0.1057766894387777,0.0452971384359687,0.0,0.06483461844210361,0.0,0.1463030051693622,0.07658130821956285,0.052463475781339315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591909086395686,0.0,0.0,0.034435723241912436,0.0,0.0,0.042166269990523884,0.0,0.0,0.03042732861003228,0.11738655975669456,0.0,0.3635989732914983,0.05341242227684665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328510167181048,0.0,0.22369857597949344,0.0,0.330548866916958,0.0,0.0,0.03778960245919602,0.0,0.14541488582397308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042456840772645166,0.1239814919709818,0.0,0.0,0.08829867770363578,0.0,0.0,0.04651188427841147,0.0,0.0976045164595903,0.0,0.0,0.08848064068665952
mentalhealth,666_pack_of_beer,2019/03/06,"I'm kind of weirded out by how well new meds are working? While hospitalized I went from Zoloft to effexor and have been on it about 3 weeks. Yesterday I had a few things happen that would have previously had me near crisis or even in crisis. Instead I was calm. So calm I had reason to question if I was being numb, which I don't think so. I actually burst into tears the other day thinking about how long I had stayed on meds that weren't working for me when I could have been on meds that do work for me.",5.218,4.851928085714288,5.956904761904763,83.5239285714286,68.14285714285714,8.904761904761905,27.97619047619048,8.344100000000001,1.6217619047619043,399,11,87,5,6,131,71,105,0.121,0.8140000000000001,0.065,-0.7783,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,10,6,0,0,2,0,18,2,0,3,0,13,23,9,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,10,0,12,4,16,10,1,16,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,3,7,68,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.17743931398117052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451760202236297,0.0,0.0,0.11726495287138793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009663684700435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079118212918556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18934739149967936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091334140605745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6059145852859426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561201585573982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036905976184037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18695095824651264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380600051602886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079940707141773,0.2330179392101948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585261700226576,0.0,0.16348651238416478,0.16855772181623954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3971220155229536,0.0,0.0,0.12916642433433387,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stew4201998,2019/03/06,"Worried about my friend My roommate/best friend is diagnosed bipolar but I think he’s developing Tourette’s or something. This year I noticed a small tick, just like a random head shake. Then he went through a breakup and the ticks got a little more violent with him making a sound like he’s in pain. He had a breakdown recently and got checked  in to the mental hospital (the story behind it was fucked up and didn’t help him at all, actually made it worse but that’s a post for another day)  but me and some other close friends and his mom visited together and while talking he had another tick but this time he basically screamed in pain and we all got taken aback. He laughed and was like “it’s just the tick” and all of us laughed (idk, it’s what we do) but after thinking about it and everything going on I’m worried about him. Am I tripping or should I talk to a doctor about it?",2.1403954802259904,4.477187587570622,3.245000000000001,89.31179378531073,79.90395480225989,6.6451977401129945,26.78248587570621,7.793537801064563,1.6189638418079095,701,30,144,12,18,225,106,177,0.168,0.685,0.147,-0.7409,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,3,0,0,0,6,14,2,1,12,0,9,7,1,2,3,33,21,19,0,1,9,1,0,3,3,1,5,2,0,0,11,14,0,0,2,0,1,5,1,6,0,0,11,2,14,8,18,9,5,22,0,0,0,1,22,9,1,4,10,90,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.13637372408623258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930755710617937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665672676794014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012578987746056,0.0,0.0,0.14184110668935399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303782654331246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559633941597026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239064824692046,0.12919461779557104,0.0,0.0,0.07942191278746465,0.0,0.3353073197213102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342159174811508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936700252908455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20482119371860827,0.14006403962891986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223277655372287,0.09328276228187972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408329445012091,0.0,0.0,0.16367097054596244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15910383171596232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974030900532041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383979212864944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379841237045427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075847076840024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22464802583876176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790895345344143,0.0,0.0,0.08148808401696532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809943386969964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954763931296032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838414115893436,0.14241497867286573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999302128355129
mentalhealth,rainetheawesome,2019/03/06,"What do you do on a bad day? I'm having one of my bad days today... You know what I mean.  Heart heavy, feel like I'm choking even though I'm not, irrational crying.  The works.  Days like today, it's so easy to forget what to do to feel normal again.
It's particularly hard today... So, help? 

Any suggestions?",-0.5104761904761901,1.71855731746032,1.9368253968253981,93.64428571428572,94.87301587301589,4.704761904761905,13.349206349206348,6.42735559955562,-0.658726984126984,233,4,52,3,9,79,42,63,0.183,0.594,0.223,0.4602,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,1,5,4,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,0,0,7,11,3,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,4,2,5,11,0,8,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,9,27,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267785962239653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258084841244499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21431330824469474,0.3774790964164128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886478824120048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19730155726285226,0.1393828085064203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747754534242488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311999621867704,0.13077454136108366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072244190304096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19063656409053648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21252617226937312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911611427325304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220796736140286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19168933842531424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5548092157391796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203851659192854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Huntyr09,2019/03/06,"Don't know what to do. I've been strugeling with my mind for a while now. I want to seek help but I'm afraid of what my parents will say since I'm only 16. There is a major taboo on mental health in my famaly and I don't know what to do anymore. I also don't want them to spend money on me anymore because i got a dyslexia test recently that cost a lot of meoney. I feel needy because of this and I hate myself for that. I've also been having thoughts about death that scare me. Please help.

Ps I'm not english so please excuse any mistakes in spelling or grammar.",0.467895740623014,2.5474551157024834,1.9854545454545445,97.40587412587412,84.6198347107438,4.053655435473618,20.05149396058487,4.713530739802397,-0.4678447552447551,443,13,100,1,13,143,75,121,0.163,0.706,0.13,-0.8499,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,6,4,1,2,4,0,10,1,0,0,0,16,21,8,1,3,3,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,3,0,1,4,0,3,0,4,4,0,0,4,2,13,0,15,16,2,7,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,3,61,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962304895406285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259515956446605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673642351410468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22580897648431375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364955852904693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813223127001707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18286007988292385,0.0,0.19687339019400224,0.0,0.0,0.2482895367924178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035770957925836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574619749179559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18665174076095234,0.0,0.18701293219193413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086328481790125,0.0,0.0,0.20565777836950208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066178167764397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287608043731815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728928443932338,0.18543111907323576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532105994850266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703890563703165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21848755375237552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thrroawayz23,2019/03/06,"Lying to parents for 2 years I'm 21, a failure, a LIAR and a disappoinent. 

I don't know how I will recover from what I've done. I't feels like the easier way out is to take my life. How do you recover to tell your parents that you've wasted thousands of dollars to someone who's failed university 2 years in a row. 

lied to them saying this is my graduating year and not even in school (academic suspension). they are paying for rent for housing and tuition that doesn't exist. thousands of dollars wasted because of me 

I don't know if I'm depressed, insane of fucking stupid.

I'm broke, my head hurts, I feel like im about to get an anxiety attack. spent the tuition money they gave me on weed and food. Wasting my days away playing games and doing nothing. 2 months left til graduation and here I fucking am. 

All I wanted was my mom to be happy. She puts her back for this family and is severely depressed because of so much stress. How the fuck am I supposed to live and tell her what I've done. How fucking hard is it to imagine your mom breaking because her son killed himself. 
",3.1339068100358425,4.8850103502304165,4.4462288786482365,84.65759728622633,74.52995391705069,7.0342037890425,28.645417306707632,7.793537801064563,1.8458962621607773,854,36,167,12,18,282,130,217,0.267,0.6779999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9943,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,3,1,9,18,8,1,8,0,17,7,1,4,1,22,33,15,1,2,2,5,3,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,8,9,1,0,5,2,8,1,4,14,0,2,5,4,25,4,26,26,2,16,0,5,0,4,22,6,4,1,9,106,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893102980333877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328153213042439,0.1096866211020724,0.08977039490765182,0.0,0.21350166088699885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529145079305402,0.0,0.20110615439051105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389431889397791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710956941665878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005764942998107,0.0,0.1180604751182964,0.16680659619597182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411696121405175,0.0,0.0,0.4317188330535934,0.06099491702779149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427818710998935,0.1045813999470518,0.0,0.11981498006782244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347091001508554,0.12497890625695472,0.0,0.12610561145932575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916204690783886,0.0,0.1283209928054316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684476773997114,0.0,0.08246108552444084,0.1140723045660716,0.0,0.10308877329460528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734627866644545,0.09318546781718584,0.0,0.0858216733769775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202084482304464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25926502385535394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173618802967129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284102975961668,0.0,0.1181530889650529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131889642627331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891842673523933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337320401175645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777839160444624,0.0,0.20408213409305886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688597597484646,0.09266746558002352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255416061119025
mentalhealth,odetoaphrodite1,2019/03/06,"Not sure whats going on with me? Okay any background info that could be important: I've always suffered from some type of depression or mood disorder, anxiety, insomnia, and add. Usually I'm moderately to severely depressed for a couple weeks then go to a happy and stable and everythings great period. I do sometimes feel a bit too good during this time. Past couple years my depressions have been less frequent but more severe when they happen. There could be other stuff and there probably is but a bad experience with mental health services when i was 15 makes me avoid therapy and psychiatrists that talk to me rather than just prescribing what i need. I'm currently prescribed 20 mg adderall up to 2 a day which i don't take every day, i take 20-30 for homework on some afternoons/evenings, sometimes 40. Also prescribed temazepam 15 mg for sleep. In general my sleep schedule isn't abysmal, its not the best but I'm usually rested enough. I've also been sexually assaulted and currently have a case open with my school against my assaulter. I've been struggling a bit with sleeping pill abuse but the timing of that doesn't line up w/ these symptoms so I think its unrelated.  I also for the past few days have had a very very small appetite barely eating half a meal a day if that.. but i dont feel hungry or tired bc of it. I'm getting over a cold, but usually colds dont cause appetite loss like this for me. Ive never had a problem with most of the symptoms below. Day to day if i'm not depressed (not currently) I usually don't feel too bad besides the paranoia. Thats all the stuff i can think of that matters. Ok so as for whats been going on lately....



For the past few months I have been getting more and more paranoid all the time, especially walking home alone at night or in my apartment at night. At first it was just regular checking a lot to see if I'm being followed which is what i should do, or double checking that i lock the doors to my apt, etc. now its to the point where i feel intense fear if i see man out late at night when I'm alone, sometimes i wont go to my friends apartments if i have to walk home alone after, sometimes i get convinced someone or something (i dont believe in ghosts or spirits or demons really but when I'm in this state its a possibility to me) in my apartment to the point where I'm double check the locks multiple times before i can sleep, etc. 

The night before last i took adderall too late, only slept 2 hours, the next day i felt fine as i was rested before that and then night came, i felt overly energized and couldn't sleep till 5 ish am when i finally took 2 Benadryl's. Sometimes this happens to me when i dont sleep, i go into this like hyper awake state. I was feeling a lot of paranoia and i was laying in bed and i heard clear as day something whispering my name. So clear i jumped and sat up. After that i thought something was in my room and when i turned the lights off besides my lamp, i could see these black lines moving all around my bed and room and i assumed it was proof of demonic energy. It was light enough in my room to where it wasn't just seeing shit in the dark. After staying anxious about it for about 30 min i realized i was probably just being paranoid and the benadryl kicked in so i fell asleep. 

I've heard my name whispered once before this and i wasn't sleep deprived that time. Ive also thought i heard radio chatter (prob a misinterpretation of my air conditioner) and was convinced someone was bugging my room and i was somehow getting feedback from the other side. I was sober and rested that time too. I know it could be the lack of sleep that caused the visual stuff but the connection to the ongoing paranoia and hearing my name scares me.

now tonight, i'm not sure if this is related or not, because what happened tonight could just be adderall. but i was getting this intense buzzing? Ringing? sound and sensation in my head. Not tinnitus, not in my ears, like in my brain and skull. It didn't hurt but would speed up and slow down if i paid attention to it. It was really bizarre. 

I don't know what i'm asking for, maybe just some thoughts on what this could be, if its severe enough to see someone for or if i should wait it out and see if it gets better. I really hate mental health offices as i said but if i'm truly losing my marbles this time i'll go. ",4.298824009799919,5.458797834292292,4.948787445710682,84.54648864100376,70.65707710011506,7.861917665837634,29.206002449979586,8.207736516917482,1.9370353242510847,3454,132,689,49,62,1110,344,869,0.127,0.782,0.091,-0.9894,4,4,3,0,1,0,79.0,0,0,1,5,37,38,4,4,38,2,67,24,15,3,9,140,134,78,1,25,46,0,7,3,1,4,7,10,10,1,55,37,2,2,18,1,4,15,23,20,0,2,40,28,80,17,89,76,29,133,3,9,7,0,13,50,1,28,68,457,135,5,0.0,0.052055856285167235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365104016927031,0.0,0.1405393915842365,0.03655748562130619,0.0,0.0,0.029877344240314282,0.0,0.033610197092918966,0.04963410693761287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03911151404078773,0.04107334596270502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336787210997467,0.026782401955464573,0.0,0.1495419845578559,0.04949976222245933,0.046107130020139185,0.03885698611926679,0.09593140274153696,0.0,0.0,0.04904605197411137,0.0,0.05024999889663306,0.0,0.09026680864019697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21047140004961987,0.09722660618983284,0.0,0.2266758083929208,0.0,0.15136479520283774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035337979433379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596623067088002,0.0,0.0,0.04495653002927163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618997029453767,0.09799840086189933,0.029018689702223932,0.0,0.0370171790420562,0.0,0.039485994806557935,0.042976914615741164,0.0,0.049439151949606526,0.11107442044718598,0.0,0.08436908615979066,0.048128705615553005,0.0,0.037371135642818486,0.0,0.0,0.033944114783553365,0.0,0.1377255184304001,0.0,0.1498158266603411,0.03685063994925121,0.0,0.0484385536359658,0.0,0.0,0.11655487306454898,0.04676968339704645,0.0,0.043376771262882335,0.045090042060527184,0.09340181869832913,0.04951800049041508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814088553795976,0.0,0.04326717948414167,0.0,0.047033385446584836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04829111484699405,0.03581293405005112,0.14868196835856448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439334640685862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049152088793069135,0.0,0.07470402586492271,0.0,0.0,0.02932699061239776,0.0,0.044138668379371984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855240433002466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03506854202144321,0.04669601079760802,0.0,0.03257728684848847,0.03388542320191837,0.0,0.046725429804990115,0.2061503660534989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04678940007060064,0.0,0.03341458938876325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582294508148492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306565675536705,0.04953017355215991,0.0,0.0,0.09473884120704994,0.042039914418252965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844377644501251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04179229867138234,0.0,0.04398665494518997,0.044464621602405184,0.21006330497459727,0.0,0.0,0.1489023208128386,0.04509870296071795,0.0,0.0,0.35173427783197714,0.0,0.11167808948918637,0.10147005626030384,0.21726446582490194,0.0,0.0,0.046828923265922216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045930459182845766,0.1508853810431608,0.0,0.0,0.08281653944875889,0.09133068989728008,0.06606738768740739,0.03531333326600486,0.0,0.0,0.05024356477929245,0.0,0.0,0.05630361890655215,0.0,0.10463857908154074,0.1793321886670192,0.05049688302566044,0.0,0.0,0.09762692616493802,0.0,0.04778872396017137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355302551348053,0.07250204384224954,0.0,0.0,0.03524205128606507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031210202767616595,0.0,0.0,0.02829273518282908
mentalhealth,summerbirthday,2019/03/06,"Eating Has anyone ever had their appetite seriously affected by mental health?

I have barely been able to eat for weeks. I feel nauseous almost all the time. It weakens me a lot and I’m cold a lot. I can feel how bad it is for my body and I’m so desperate to eat and make this feeling of malaise go away but I just can’t. It makes me feel sick. I write this after attempting to eat some soup this morning after eating nothing yesterday. I

I don’t know what to do. Looking for tips or anything. ",-0.37220588235294016,1.866900480392161,1.935465686274508,92.54084558823529,98.11764705882356,4.51078431372549,20.100490196078432,6.322622252153567,0.3549196078431369,387,14,80,5,16,130,71,102,0.135,0.851,0.014,-0.8652,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,3,0,9,8,1,4,2,22,20,7,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,5,0,5,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,6,11,0,12,18,4,8,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,5,6,55,18,0,0.14567836746407525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587584181868962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018617017216374,0.0,0.11988088382158772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686962167111102,0.0,0.12163535184302872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161815825415487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7453266928002812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177442361519168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946374389400813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279237338912959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484929238673492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006102093981335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233313863543545,0.0,0.0,0.2477010770204749,0.0,0.0,0.19448288298666505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468095304860874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397823225490777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494622758270043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685439919601527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shruberrie,2019/03/06,"How to deal with depression when no one understands? I think I am a horrible person and deserve to die. I am a horrible daughter , horrible wife and a horrible mother.
I was abused physically as a child and emotionally and mentally by my mother (perhaps) she is going through depression since long too. Now this has gotten vicious I may spread the emotional torture to my toddlers. I contemplate suicide but I am also scared of hurting myself. I know I am clinically depressed and have bad anxiety. I told my husband(who is the sweetest person) but he fails to understand my mental situation he says it's all in my hands to work this out but as much as I try I am not motivated to do anything for myself - I don't want to see a shrink(I also cannot afford it), I skip having bath for days, I stopped meeting friends, I work from home. I am bitter, I used to be a good looking and good dressed girl but now I stopped caring about that, I am sulking and cranky , I binge eat and I know I am rubbing all my negativity on my husband and I am afraid I will spoil his mental health. I don't want to live neither want to die neither want to improve my situation.",3.461571960875645,5.361259004424781,5.130363297624594,79.46626688402422,74.0,8.120726595249186,31.806241266884022,8.841846274778883,2.8488884955752223,909,45,171,19,19,308,127,226,0.32299999999999995,0.608,0.068,-0.9953,1,0,0,0,1,3,24.0,0,0,0,4,8,15,3,2,8,0,22,4,1,3,2,33,38,20,3,4,5,5,2,0,1,2,2,1,2,4,5,11,1,2,6,1,0,1,8,11,0,1,3,6,38,4,25,32,5,11,0,5,2,0,18,3,0,1,7,127,43,4,0.0,0.13611893785225887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837456347279401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788606423513587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453987092096956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592347083276913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713205279919615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409077594031986,0.1184405194094801,0.2968486634582422,0.0,0.23846323034578296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175551715754084,0.0,0.258458423110025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875921328353957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652913128760195,0.1927187573897376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211648469519525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152381746931633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298586417469498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627465437634694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014448137694494,0.10166886211091763,0.09647375600903348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473286220373237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445307277281956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784847675241692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006248259705712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136049128466144,0.11501908100432345,0.0,0.09154779754986872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503336031709647,0.2582692076836353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920965957484444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566461927711084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736131277988603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977673349457047,0.0,0.07799880015031603,0.0,0.0,0.23919691422921344,0.0,0.09922302384834857,0.0,0.0,0.2710466050043715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727406642033715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SomaSoma5ama,2019/03/06,"How to deal compulsive lying, anxiety, and depression? Ever since I had recollection I have compulsively lied about preety much everything. When I say something that is true I always add a lie to it(Not lying right now, im carefully making sure of that). It kind of comes out of nowhere and I only realice that I lied after the fact. This has caused people around me to not trust me entirely... Also depresion is huge in my life bc of abuse from my narcisistic dissmisive yelling and explosive father who up to this point hasn't recognised his wrongs made me lie even more thru my life. I feel like I it's his fault that I grew up this way. The pnly thing he taught me was to be proud of what he had done in his past and shit. He would control money so tighly thta he nurtured a kind of dependance of him all my life(same for the res of the family) He's better now but I cant seem to stop suicidal thoughts from haunting my everyday... Add to the fact that recently I was diagnosed with ADD and aspergers and my life is in a loop of drug abuse to calm all the worries I have. I have mood swings. I never had a personality, dad controlled everything and embarrassed me every time he got the chance, just to prove he was smarter. No arguing was allowed and his point of view was always the right one. Recently he has told me that I dont have to do all that he has to say.. Really? But when I corrected him or made a comment he would shout/ make sarcastic remarks of how stupid the comment was or entirely dismiss me. I dont know if its my fault for never standing up and I feel like I cant forgive him, but i'ts been 18 years since the abuse began and I've been conditioned to do what he sais cuz he sais it all my life, levaving me with no self respect and no confidence.. I really dont know what to do..",3.6780899908172633,4.950965440771351,4.899063360881545,83.88475665748395,72.27823691460054,9.014141414141417,27.21854912764004,9.444778638647367,2.2610653810835637,1417,50,295,33,27,469,180,363,0.185,0.731,0.084,-0.9918,1,0,2,0,4,0,37.0,0,0,0,4,13,23,3,1,15,0,34,7,1,12,13,63,50,24,1,3,8,2,2,2,0,2,6,4,0,2,19,19,0,3,9,0,1,2,12,8,0,1,19,7,43,14,41,28,6,33,0,1,1,0,32,13,1,5,18,194,62,1,0.0,0.329565755206357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414626971390724,0.1542970214049902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092874704229678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253836412118895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200122515378419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453182157880356,0.09524656488409627,0.0,0.0798680440848553,0.0,0.0,0.20798145264535625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558782400674046,0.07985757447635612,0.09410646116372108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488234491980706,0.32599317926020177,0.0,0.10752303592905386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061239132150807285,0.08386842092173005,0.07811861743133232,0.0,0.1666572873467526,0.0,0.08740594700031819,0.0,0.0937616574992117,0.13247501270399514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415477313021941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015097041182043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19310232550860545,0.101910389275717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32744608431436034,0.09059431905684596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546336096456752,0.12377950018607993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815813960699818,0.0,0.1430191322035659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628278779264391,0.07051594942229984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850948636340747,0.06427874297471536,0.08095747406323398,0.0,0.0,0.1752962929558351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879459912999132,0.0,0.1830949839816252,0.0,0.0,0.15836072980972835,0.0,0.14746559041835086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440666462885055,0.09672472797029792,0.0,0.09517333342000454,0.15339399330652842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137857530714507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775161054605547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014180583741434,0.0,0.0873852860969531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615974855549857,0.0,0.0,0.0736074559557167,0.054064406241862435,0.0,0.0,0.08859568611849535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359495343660218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941592723006904,0.0,0.13172791406864154,0.10137219317306748,0.0,0.059707125530077974
mentalhealth,mi_chel_le,2019/03/06,"I don’t want to eat. The title sums it up. 
I’ve been stressed lately. Not just normal life stressed. 
My mom found out she had stage 4 cervical cancer that spread all the way to her lungs. My husband was in rehab for alcohol. His PTSD wasn’t treated so they want to send him to rehab in Germany. I was supposed to deploy, which i want really bad to do, i was taken off the team because of the family issues happening. 
We work 14 hour days and i come home and want to love on my kids. 
So i forget to eat. At work we’re constantly busy so i can’t fit a meal in. Usually i can fit snacks in if it’s a slow day and i do that. 
I also *believe* i have body dysmorphia so hate my body and do home workouts to make myself feel better. 
On off days i have to force myself to eat but i just want to sleep. Food tastes gross. 

I’m not sure if it’s mental but I’ve told my doctor and he isn’t worried. 
I’ve lost 13 pounds in a little over a month and don’t know what else to ask my doctor to help me ",-0.9943849813115868,1.0063076926605523,1.6322833843017328,97.74073224600748,91.33944954128441,4.697519537886512,15.413523615358475,6.238725200709706,-0.622996466190961,759,16,184,8,27,260,126,218,0.12,0.795,0.085,-0.8854,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,1,5,7,10,1,2,8,0,16,19,4,1,2,30,34,15,0,8,8,2,1,0,0,0,7,0,2,1,7,9,8,0,3,2,0,2,7,6,0,0,10,2,28,4,29,24,1,29,0,1,0,1,16,16,0,2,9,108,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227423196498082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184744740016404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737151884131044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589698231251907,0.07001297578210079,0.0,0.0,0.1293993593055488,0.0,0.1015776416416069,0.0,0.2551503179401375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893519938821432,0.0,0.12411467560022807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222109490467618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351126592361736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525681288878353,0.0959444683751226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108272650135324,0.0,0.0580728399320659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888001519379953,0.1259297622089767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156362523326122,0.0,0.0,0.11339299742360348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769831633668653,0.0,0.23041270513539536,0.0,0.11310650905845808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987609813658327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311989230643662,0.0,0.1295585445402182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112366845020623,0.0,0.11511230845829637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537499554217946,0.0,0.10365880291772683,0.0,0.07666488938975696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574423664677748,0.0,0.0,0.13451377881910992,0.09167411449292837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125309966849124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425634541971745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357740812258916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493537583248925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26312614282652075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824705678797984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974641950360547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649372627557326,0.0,0.3387146969912009,0.09116451361298884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722787498817548,0.11663821852730735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Boopable_Snootable,2019/03/06,"How do we convince my dad to go to anger management therapy? He's anger is so bad, I'm in therapy because of trauma. My mum's planning to leave him and take me with her because of his anger.",2.520162601626016,3.402512073170733,4.705853658536586,85.66577235772358,74.60975609756099,8.393495934959349,30.739837398373986,8.841846274778883,2.4083593495934963,149,7,33,3,3,52,32,41,0.364,0.597,0.039,-0.9509,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,1,2,6,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,5,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,1,7,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,0,19,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719833493072024,0.3971420828681048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851283090834298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34491676982516395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24491959309196715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7450352660805861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aklurking47,2019/03/06,"How do I go about therapy? I have officially hit my lowest point I've ever felt in my life. I never thought I'd actually consider therapy my whole life and I feel embarrassed and that there's something wrong with me. I don't want to share a sob story, but I need to seek out a therapist soon. I'm currently in college and I'm afraid, confused, and lost about going to see a therapist. Are there therapist provided in state colleges? Are they confidential about everything? I don't want anyone I know to know I'm seeing a therapist or want to. I haven't slept in days and have stayed in bed and I can't do it anymore ",1.69543956043956,3.965961865079368,4.016984126984127,83.52587912087914,81.14285714285714,8.32136752136752,25.56532356532357,9.057496981413335,2.35904590964591,489,20,100,14,13,169,72,126,0.16899999999999998,0.831,0.0,-0.9146,2,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,8,7,0,3,4,0,10,3,1,1,2,23,29,9,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,4,4,15,1,15,24,1,16,0,2,2,0,2,7,1,2,5,61,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.13712860905526328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935946257226905,0.09825582522909627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062467340180792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710964491621932,0.0,0.0,0.12629156710316342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105183846613386,0.0,0.13492257391995796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972309184967026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445376521634002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19850883109030013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15339569997568547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419483232524718,0.10837876110477083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283813685690007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239547136149447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818023353967868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497771079082672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213969187764924,0.6526246715571599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111558289602818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24864947502010154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568871169097754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363808376256713,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NickZuroff,2019/03/06,"Should I see a counselor? I feel like things in my life are not getting done the way that I want but I also feel like that is what’s holding me back from getting them done. To me it’s like anxiety on steroids, but I’ve only developed it in the last 6 months. I’m beginning to be confused about what everything means and my purpose but generally learn from those nights and know not to go there again. Am I numbing the inevitable or just figuring things out like everyone else?   ",2.16,4.604149473684213,3.020263157894739,90.32934210526315,80.57894736842105,6.747368421052633,26.342105263157894,7.908726449838941,1.6387684210526317,380,16,78,7,10,120,66,95,0.079,0.7859999999999999,0.135,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,1,4,0,7,2,0,0,0,21,18,7,0,2,7,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,6,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,3,10,4,10,14,0,12,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,2,10,53,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042840393707533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346673170690775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425734113400294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4105890482697239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675846021169297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916922398731867,0.1802960736708998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028697211758973,0.2866328263262507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20962175187210286,0.0,0.11401175468647227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025046276227404,0.16352459720190987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169735816701434,0.3920332625804345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21852399904491845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012564623999484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18825966911737332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257357196224822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986085401839126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665538356077243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832546198389267,0.15923553488548509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,human748926,2019/03/06,"I dont think im autistic but many people have told me that i am So this is my secondary account because some of you might know me so I don't want you to be able to make fun of me if you know who I am .

I've never really had many friends and I've been alone for most of middle school but I recently moved to this new school and I have made friends with people here and I'm happy that they are my friends. But I have a hard time understanding what they're talking about when they joke around and often they'll just tell me to stop talking or just start a new conversation without me when I try to talk. They're nice and all but they keep joking about how I'm autistic and I don't really think I am because I've seen what autists are and I definitely don't act like them I can talk to people fine and I'm not really obsesive about dumb things like trains although I do really like knowing facts . I really don't know what to do about this . Anyways I'm just happy I could vent to someone without being made fun of for it ",2.082803261977574,3.5494187889908275,3.4232415902140687,92.09084607543323,76.70642201834863,6.4958205912334375,22.66156982670744,7.1686216300943375,0.5572254841997957,808,23,184,9,18,264,106,218,0.092,0.706,0.202,0.9845,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,5,0,16,15,1,0,2,0,24,0,0,4,3,44,43,20,0,3,12,0,1,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,11,10,0,2,7,2,1,2,9,1,0,0,6,2,30,14,22,32,3,13,0,0,1,0,19,2,1,6,12,119,41,2,0.11019719388321547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413105912819115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809886571788244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134350373155667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798349248847151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291502905252534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554142359146413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346139239943537,0.09871504078461296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903187932728397,0.0,0.0,0.09794832917861523,0.0,0.0,0.24224598341050035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16151034796821906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20854249861795654,0.07355748261228046,0.2234453169281554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690180839194304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712217757712445,0.0,0.0,0.08499086936424967,0.21285827306917646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22919057735379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35297572081002204,0.0,0.10880643467114882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230508867144305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336972477383797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799814101238413,0.0,0.0,0.09212978839007584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542893209912536,0.09631720459186244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321011905621835,0.14121982454539214,0.0,0.0,0.0642568699356615,0.0,0.0,0.1052981411524096,0.0,0.07481666111291954,0.0,0.0,0.11471916514520022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499716006316432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124523250147713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ohnowhythisagain,2019/03/06,"How to stop regretting about the past? im 27 years old guy. Have been a loner for my whole life and always lived with depression and anxiety.  Always wanted to have a girlfriend but unable to even come close to have a one. But few months ago very pretty girl who is way out of my league talked to me and we started dating, which was of course by far the best time period of my life. But after about a month she said she wanna break up, which was devastating for me, now even after 5 months i still feel depressed, feel like there is no point in doing anything, cuz i'm sure i wont find a girl like her ever again.

the thing which make me sad the most is that i feel i could've done so many things differently , which should've saved the relationship. Because i was very new to this, i really messed up many things related to our relationship. I feel i could've thought deeper and done things differently.

I tried to counter this thought process and told myself past is gone, things always happen the way they meant to happen and there was nothing i could've done to change things. But several times a day, mostly in mornings, i feel this deep despair of wasting the opportunity of living a happy satisfied life.

plz, suggest me a way to counter this thoughts efficiently. Any method. i should do something before i'll totally destroy my life.",5.555021576198044,6.434939455598457,5.477633431751079,82.92638882580059,67.57142857142857,8.565160118101295,27.59050647285941,8.671277953709913,1.8188276629570752,1065,32,210,16,17,332,148,259,0.14300000000000002,0.7140000000000001,0.14300000000000002,0.4138,2,0,2,0,0,1,25.0,2,0,1,2,12,14,1,0,15,0,19,4,0,3,3,39,38,13,0,4,4,0,5,2,1,2,4,1,0,3,16,11,0,1,10,0,0,2,2,7,0,1,15,6,27,7,30,21,6,37,0,5,0,0,17,9,0,2,24,136,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785960190508942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21925494309008592,0.0,0.0,0.0597301783730548,0.0,0.06719282180391213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227995422757752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354283276290031,0.0,0.07474032280159064,0.0,0.0921764357039645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291679783369414,0.07566127244318092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038506913923302,0.0,0.0,0.0566457076943627,0.0,0.15130270856984485,0.0,0.0,0.18353581359943774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696542414910595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602714740136695,0.07945094333343833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220577201450859,0.06274867591261979,0.0,0.0,0.08027874713825545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696953682661256,0.15534275296576222,0.09350099892705517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487586611895714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481591998866489,0.08582257816007087,0.0,0.1551181829306803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058629922604024436,0.17809991822018004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103249458896756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483069045098476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427915739016616,0.0,0.09216707935471892,0.0,0.059518637814252075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769511356589298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303158498234761,0.0,0.0,0.08935882433453594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056268753245060886,0.0,0.0,0.18860183665041733,0.0,0.0,0.08355031271130776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922749615645582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761895692828264,0.0,0.0,0.06216940559151759,0.0,0.07014440036964348,0.07343321401177892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278256985838216,0.0,0.0,0.07059769696931446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501183125085003,0.0,0.0,0.2091913171054217,0.10243350308662504,0.0,0.0,0.0839292162655214,0.0,0.059633566766593926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449446100790065,0.05180680916000383,0.20915578512830413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980636004731263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656226020422918
mentalhealth,tamnook,2019/03/06,"Is having imaginary friends as an adult an unhealthy coping mechanism? I don't know how to explain this apart from calling it ""having imaginary friends"". The thing is that when I was a depressed and bullied teenager  I would cope with my loneliness and fear of going to class everyday imagining an alternative life where I would go to school and have lots of friends. With time I would give those fictional friends a face, a name, a personality... And would imagine myself interacting with them and being loved.

As years have gone by I'm starting to do better thanks to therapy and I actually have good friends now. But sometimes, when I'm feeling sad or something bad happens to me, I still go back to that imaginary place with those imaginary friends, and I don't know if this is a weird thing to do, if I should talk about it with my therapist or if it is a thing that a lot of people actually do and shouldn't care about it. I'm afraid I'm being creepy by doing this, and don't feel capable of asking people around me because I'm afraid of them leaving me if they find out I'm weird.",9.58768343815514,6.961768858490569,9.070251572327043,71.98837526205452,60.88679245283019,12.629769392033547,41.00838574423479,10.980518767755715,4.272026624737944,866,37,169,17,9,278,107,212,0.14,0.7290000000000001,0.131,-0.2528,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,1,10,19,0,3,11,0,25,3,1,1,0,41,47,21,0,10,7,0,2,0,6,6,1,0,0,2,15,16,0,0,8,0,0,4,4,8,0,0,2,2,18,11,27,37,2,18,0,2,0,1,19,5,0,8,9,121,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.2305527500752761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051594090382993,0.11043420063358618,0.0,0.0,0.09083352429443746,0.0986323626520374,0.07201003672027935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447505798548716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206224053032478,0.0,0.12043987784813555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017439033179207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292740334607087,0.119458637181026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107967308246144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.54759471299078,0.0,0.0,0.11331962047642005,0.2014054452066981,0.09908058061125244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446064177094433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984066773315472,0.0,0.0,0.12508102430836565,0.0,0.0,0.0834376525026463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008572515128048,0.10661558262738552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637908552445013,0.10314524912588603,0.12341913935808307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955234783149173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094108996725526,0.11683210630681225,0.0,0.08361195978082614,0.0,0.0943375721024588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494721307778843,0.0,0.10875685105491764,0.13509023390549085,0.13715629239504593,0.2354379777758854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888167788318528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356603864105437,0.0,0.0,0.07607088052895744
mentalhealth,_boredInMicro_,2019/03/06,"Olanzapine dosage Hi, have recently been given olanzapine to take. Initially it was 5mg, which felt fine. But theyve recently upped it to 10mg, which has zombied me.        
Anyone got experience with this drug? Would i be able to argue the lower dose in court? I feel way better on the lower dose.",2.4972023809523805,5.073520982142857,4.485714285714288,79.5259523809524,80.25,8.019047619047619,21.833333333333336,8.841846274778883,1.8691047619047616,229,7,43,6,6,78,45,56,0.124,0.795,0.081,-0.3527,2,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,0,5,11,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,3,2,7,4,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,24,8,0,0.2887988341711213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20193485975980505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554190998360341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349149600768996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825006759708474,0.0,0.0,0.1460253679909684,0.0,0.2772921705093009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23097880996223016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5703080155860527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171407818383097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292350720858017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051544057518157,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheDorkNerd,2019/03/06,"Noticing a positive change in my life. Small, yet positive. Sorry this is going to be a wee bit long. 

I can't remember a time when my life was really exciting, but it wasn't bad either. I was happy with my life living in a small village without any friends, reading comics.

Fast forward to my late teenage days, my mental health started declining. I got diagnosed with ADHD and OCD started taking over with depressive episodes. And after taking my meds for some months, I started putting on weight. At the same time, I started my college.

Didn't take much time before I lost my self esteem completely. My grades were bad, I was getting overweight. The future I was dreaming started looking grim. After a year of being completely invisible in my bedroom, I got some friends. Days got better, I started enjoying life again. I was still depressed, but I could cope with it. When college ended, my grades were much better, I was enjoying life and all.

But after college almost all of my friends left for pursuing better things in life, I still wasn't ready and so I thought of taking a break of one year, get my shit together, practice a lot and try to get into an art school. But it backfired. Without college I didn't have much to do, or even if I did, that freedom didn't really allow me to do something productive other than sleeping. I ended up with double the weight I already was. Lost my motivation to do literally anything I loved to do. My dreams and ambitions took a back seat. My memory started getting worse, depressive episodes were frequent. My temper was something destructive. It wasn't only my life and career that was getting ruined, but my whole family was suffering for me. 

After some months my family forced me to go to this new Therapist in town. This new guy almost ""forcibly"" made me do the things I like. Sent me on trips, even sponsoring some. Made me take an apartment of my own. A slight change in my attitude came after some days of therapy. When I saw whatever the therapist was doing work on me, I got a bit of my courage back and fought back against my head. It was really stressful, my temper and mood was really bad, but I started seeing a difference after a while. Plus I wasn't very alone in this, this therapist of mine really helped. Although I'm still living off of my parents' money (a lot of people in my country do, the lifestyle is pretty different), I'm trying get a small job. I'm still kind of sad and hopeless, but I'm pretty optimistic now. My body language, the way I talk has changed into something normal. I'm more pleasant to look at now. I have started losing weight. And only after a couple of months of seeing this therapist, he today has told me that I've already become a source of inspiration for his other patients and I deserve a lot of credit for it. I feel pretty good. Not overtly happy or something, but I'm having that warm, nice feeling inside me right now.

I still have a very long way to go, but I'm optimistic. I still don't have any hope for my future, but I'm preparing myself to get ready for whatever my future holds. ",4.683777111213659,6.212253553299494,5.561437855714503,79.11337967235812,70.15059221658206,8.350730656822027,30.35229195508384,8.841846274778883,2.610207783417936,2434,100,433,44,44,797,247,591,0.14800000000000002,0.677,0.175,0.967,3,1,4,0,0,1,80.0,0,0,0,8,20,43,5,1,27,0,45,18,4,4,2,64,100,32,0,4,17,1,6,1,3,0,10,0,1,2,20,21,4,1,6,5,2,9,12,20,0,1,39,11,73,22,69,58,21,95,0,11,5,1,14,26,1,14,60,302,93,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061302120231418726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215498202936933,0.05282926380154298,0.11257795782952952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937484972526213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041975523087916085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766681001526083,0.1277695164608329,0.0,0.05633471133624526,0.04340434604425198,0.0,0.0,0.13533821234837304,0.11137580695923524,0.056658774103022086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058339959772004076,0.0,0.0,0.16188020182373222,0.0,0.1069625619450709,0.0,0.0,0.040726014201216014,0.05643976535752113,0.0,0.09868849129329717,0.0,0.13180024264074475,0.05177239811740321,0.0,0.1065857313211094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035651007866953,0.0,0.0,0.06738106376266795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617225916202302,0.0,0.05158270537611245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822676623589813,0.0,0.18654829077493512,0.0,0.08696765664167473,0.04278338108293911,0.16318413802105525,0.0,0.0,0.050506282689620256,0.0,0.1085986669789113,0.0,0.0,0.05234927955601177,0.054219487215328536,0.0,0.0,0.034189819539731964,0.0,0.0,0.05066279754793763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061791331837052,0.0,0.0,0.05311734364463589,0.0,0.0,0.05753963677162874,0.0,0.055420717867485064,0.0,0.2522009260709568,0.024920101634818604,0.0,0.09008260919011632,0.09028156326607377,0.0856683287862826,0.057065292454956874,0.11136327178331587,0.13009641670037014,0.04603702433702723,0.0965306618327844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056658774103022086,0.0,0.05140441611705218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214312690846135,0.0,0.1124910116172366,0.0,0.0,0.0985283580666848,0.0,0.0,0.049977349604982776,0.0,0.058073340725149414,0.0,0.0,0.0345645757863561,0.07758829228030491,0.0,0.0,0.05663873250747624,0.0,0.0,0.03536276500700168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556814790787007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051277476968189205,0.0,0.0,0.05102215021815377,0.0,0.16338626498916273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057782513254699186,0.0435608493215366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162317000041794,0.08129409639060617,0.0,0.053212830047489806,0.0,0.05235933481133145,0.0,0.0,0.051045184253047264,0.0,0.0,0.1570748691282927,0.0,0.05709966794318906,0.3249357325818279,0.0,0.2444119890779305,0.0,0.0584298887313365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917596430127982,0.040998576863493966,0.0,0.0,0.058332489798769024,0.23689848764547314,0.06777535794562684,0.0,0.0,0.040494929540690235,0.08923013136361925,0.0,0.048349948360687005,0.0487406611245466,0.056672149952111936,0.06926263817889643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841744560004025,0.0,0.0809761026317369,0.0,0.1863432734190204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05694899740505618,0.0,0.09834045183835652,0.0,0.037134683856856615,0.0,0.05198186298617261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569540571738437
mentalhealth,meto78,2019/03/06,"College Not sure if this is the correct subreddit but I need someone to sort of relate to me so I feel less dramatic. Excuse grammar/spelling as I am on my phone currently. 

I want to ask anyone who has got angry, depressed, anxious, lose sleep while attempting to deal with a relationship, rent, a job (with hostile, passive-aggressive management), and full time school.  

How did you guys do it? After you finished school did it feel like relief? Did your quality of life significantly increase? 

I feel hopeless right now cause I may have to begin working nights to keep my job and maintain a decent income to pay the bills etc. just like everyone else, all while going to school to finish my undergrad. Girlfriend isn’t too happy with my because i’m damn near always tired and hardly have enough time for her (she also works 30+ hour weeks and attends school full time). 
I guess I also get feelings of jealousy and envy many of my peers with the luxury of having no responsibility but school.
I’m really not sure what else to say, i’m tired stressed anxious and just want to hear someone say that they too have gone through something similar and still came out on top.

Again, sorry if this posting is incorrect for this subreddit.

Thanks!
",4.834675057208237,6.987259552173914,5.138009153318078,79.78641876430207,70.86956521739131,7.798627002288329,29.496567505720826,8.532816995589336,2.403695652173913,987,40,171,17,19,312,149,230,0.207,0.6859999999999999,0.107,-0.9794,7,0,1,0,0,1,30.0,0,3,1,5,11,13,2,1,6,0,14,4,1,2,4,38,35,18,0,5,8,0,5,2,1,1,3,3,1,1,8,13,0,1,4,0,3,5,4,6,0,0,6,8,20,7,29,28,7,30,0,3,0,0,17,8,1,5,18,110,28,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613275212828222,0.0839298999822802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22790329040330784,0.0,0.07052895141645098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429756341279398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148793548583915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536563059047206,0.0,0.103618781381342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399003733652196,0.08687709169752379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852382621282308,0.0,0.0,0.10422316516163302,0.11249400557746476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096383287338641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204006699920058,0.07205981337263857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05269914305473215,0.0,0.057325365487922324,0.0,0.0806730115118957,0.0,0.11111700213175896,0.09987475435430056,0.0,0.10737540569336254,0.09035753182781886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136850841311921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933423989375632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20019100156973146,0.08965573230678282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124574889610859,0.09855760102389056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284501180021395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226388590653328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479202632289778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465738307831913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966032513109321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461834928909901,0.0,0.0,0.10829402336466387,0.0,0.08614035509580838,0.0,0.16042788307823813,0.0,0.5104168380859317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094041704817136,0.0,0.17092953233772665,0.07765278463389172,0.0,0.11291298836194386,0.0,0.0,0.08055297305095148,0.0,0.11554346257976852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901329852062333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286530803038108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17645007663125742,0.2318648708865527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898861434782795,0.0,0.08090988177496403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686558704073374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,decentgrapes,2019/03/06,"Anxiety from car crash continues to surround me A little background :) 

Recently I was in a car crash on my way to work, giving some ligament injury in my hip. I couldn't walk for a month. It forced me to disassociate from everything I cared about, my friends, school, my job. I watched everything progress without me in addition to the flashbacks of the crash. It's difficult to be a passenger let alone drive to work or school. Today was the first day back at college and everything was anxiety inducing. I want to disassociate even further from my friends because I rarely had discussions past people asking me about the crash. I go to work for the first time on Friday and I fear that's going to be even worse. I visited my coworkers today and although they all wanted to make sure I was okay, all the people cluttered my mind and stressed me out. I have to been okay, but it's not like I can break it down without being the downer on everyone's day. 

It all boils down to when I'm alone at night, trying to put all of these thoughts to rest. I rarely even feel tiredness at the right time anymore. The entire day is incredibly exhausting, almost as though I feel the eye bags droop further by the minute, but once I'm in bed it's like it never happened. If I even try to ignore the black hole in my chest I've found that I twitch from the tiredness. Almost like intense spasms that only stir me awake longer. Then let's say I do fall asleep. Well at that point there's a 50/50 chance the sleep will be riddled with nightmares and sleep paralysis. I feel I've lost so much sleep that I'm becoming less functional in my daily lifestyle. 

I don't know how to help myself. I honestly don't think I can unless I'm willing to just wait it out. I don't see myself being the postive and reasonable person I was before, and it scares me because I don't know why I was able to forget how to do that. It's as if I never had that ability in the first place. With the financial setbacks from the accident, my parents won't be able to give me the help I need and I certainly can't either while attending school. Maybe there's not much advice besides those that include paying for a therapist or medication, but I'm willing to try anything. Thanks for listening. ",4.6720935121420775,5.7631688269662975,5.308611815875317,82.57000724900328,69.71910112359551,8.708227618702429,29.41101848495832,9.023248300946321,2.3262526277636826,1788,67,352,33,31,577,214,445,0.125,0.782,0.093,-0.9029,2,2,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,8,16,20,0,3,25,2,33,11,7,5,8,59,62,26,0,6,14,1,3,3,2,4,3,2,1,1,20,13,1,2,10,0,1,10,13,7,1,3,12,9,49,13,60,37,10,58,0,1,4,0,14,25,0,7,24,236,69,9,0.16574182115047142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098049470224425,0.0,0.0,0.16596649252573495,0.1716585415939502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679203952479667,0.0,0.08218567521268925,0.0,0.0,0.06819569834422347,0.0,0.07747311463722599,0.0,0.0,0.06372261491632518,0.0,0.1010346758133616,0.09152440989357108,0.07051704116855233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449241638811958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033464474494394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21894181944308527,0.0,0.0,0.07918670640949048,0.2234370926335829,0.0,0.0,0.09325281388170722,0.12570606713729074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114698626020136,0.0,0.09086367603939532,0.12805171988049044,0.0,0.0,0.15899465740591634,0.09419489648158018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328247253629587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109324902951448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822365915546479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108737038121316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948224147830085,0.0,0.12145962280703887,0.08305842336575141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904633883091154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531697631213655,0.0,0.08325496828027065,0.0,0.0,0.08348372394257728,0.0,0.0,0.08367599583992091,0.0,0.06614677018654846,0.0,0.12183930904395805,0.061447730138042174,0.1278303101304118,0.0,0.0,0.07776873574541866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825481514868877,0.0,0.06302706179871698,0.0,0.0,0.09201833908273452,0.0,0.07910966118304925,0.114904509944244,0.07235968263426465,0.08658246337691665,0.0,0.07833979673908696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330815422719977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852050982020083,0.08182502657190073,0.0,0.0,0.0707713048322887,0.0,0.06590227428422359,0.08296823843304868,0.2516093573067022,0.06603738639550136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24879227686729502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492834807235252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810485248021777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762964003997041,0.0,0.09621951445272324,0.0,0.053100333315902144,0.08142024888157423,0.06579024622619889,0.09664538877325858,0.0,0.15710386676817414,0.0,0.0,0.1687917254734424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775882033706106,0.06577907149124422,0.0,0.0,0.07451090100339966,0.0,0.07477810704856863,0.0,0.0,0.15976920107837406,0.0,0.18099302965965894,0.0,0.08445253773612413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,drillitup20,2019/03/06,"(20) girlfriend broke up and I feel lonely AF So it's been more than a month now since my 3 month relationship with this girl ended (it was my first relationship). When we were together, I was the happiest I have ever been in my life, everything felt amazing like you could have told by looking at my face that life is great (now it feels like an amazing dream I had). Until she decided to breakup. I was really fucking shattered and God knows I tried EVERYTHING to keep this girl in my life but she didn't give two craps about me and dumped me like garbage. I treated her like a queen! Always took care of her, told her everyday how lucky I am to have her and how beautiful she is and I'm the length of my relationship I NEVER let her pay for a single thing that's how much she meant to me. Well when she dumped me, it felt like the end of the world, cried over her for days and later realized she wasn't worth it. But I still do think abt her everyday and I feel like I'm going mad (for still thinking or caring abt this girl who treated me like garbage and later dumped me like one) I was insecure before her and now I'm more insecure abt myself so I cover myself in designer clothing in hopes that I'll have more people talk to me or like me or literally give me some attention or ANYTHING. That's how insecure I am, and I HATE it.

Well to the point, now that she's gone I feel LONELY AF like I can't describe. Sometimes it feels like I'll never find anyone. Idk if this hurts more because I loved her or I loved the idea of being in a relationship (because that was the first time I ever got that much attention in my life) sometimes the second option seems right because I really wana get back into a relationship (like in general) and sometimes the first option seems right because I want to be in a rs with her (idk why I still like and miss her) I literally have such a small circle of friends which adds to my loneliness. Right when my ex was helping me a little bit to come over my insecurities, she left. She left me in such a bad spot and I feel soooo fucking helpless that I cant describe. This is a cruel fkn world and I'm soo desperate to talk to ppl, have friends, maybe a girl who would actually respect me one day that it feels impossible to happen. Lately, I've been having sleep problems like I just can't sleep, I feel paranoid af, like i just can't sleep cause there is soo much going on in my fucking head. Feels like I'll die a loner when the time comes. Anyways, thanks for reading till here if anyone even did. 


I'm sorry for this not so good structured post because my head was all over the place and I had sooo much to say. ",3.1452821054484668,4.541273399260632,4.221741484024297,87.7371734442391,73.78743068391867,7.370495554968753,24.710896928087315,7.957251820313856,1.1963107648974571,2083,64,445,30,42,678,225,541,0.152,0.654,0.194,0.9676,0,4,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,1,0,4,33,56,10,4,24,0,39,16,7,5,5,78,88,37,1,7,12,1,11,16,3,1,4,1,0,4,27,22,0,1,23,2,2,6,9,22,2,7,24,13,78,34,47,59,12,69,0,6,1,5,47,28,4,14,50,292,105,2,0.0,0.0,0.05675107082005972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048389771992125005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132691397478782,0.0,0.0478567614765698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044717746965812766,0.048557149686464296,0.17725430264151573,0.0,0.04948577844606408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349039911599133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185861723199954,0.05974139378461778,0.0,0.1001910836004808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04643218247541198,0.0,0.06388073911705766,0.07501056553702982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06035589970886655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030164637051302,0.0,0.0,0.03841095070779296,0.10520938716217706,0.0,0.0,0.10453225943186742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26464507661970016,0.16618430092890607,0.11167619361865593,0.0,0.05315278481412663,0.1484003099864845,0.0,0.0,0.08986110214830355,0.16129059215507305,0.0303836834922627,0.11157550373803583,0.06610186276670052,0.048777809376170274,0.04651201340407759,0.0641162959168786,0.0,0.0,0.05142643735211275,0.0,0.0,0.057416204519878576,0.11936799357735906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03898019412915788,0.0,0.0,0.05776121986399683,0.0,0.0,0.06225632750988558,0.06565012431972392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051690999810891834,0.0,0.0,0.03196056836208737,0.0,0.06560158087037693,0.0,0.12637155564634445,0.05946761600710612,0.16430690589259644,0.4545869677093659,0.05828677251123731,0.0,0.0,0.04883570799385389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497464859097387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842469914476341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283782643546366,0.0,0.17100300731448334,0.0,0.0897057264595817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881491580137855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04031748232291265,0.0,0.06075978981794415,0.0,0.05497544651191349,0.0,0.05569659091242676,0.0,0.0,0.055646657276727234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817092184647081,0.0,0.0745114003297313,0.0,0.0,0.31218451945208514,0.0,0.14899262872779154,0.0,0.04624733667604882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588459112986466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04810656935224802,0.0,0.1745915496187507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255089267622664,0.06509996750785459,0.0,0.0,0.1393284157390735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348586840600356,0.0,0.05354148024145554,0.0,0.0,0.03863572030299182,0.07452698769938572,0.0,0.0,0.06782151118955386,0.0,0.0,0.11113954143047927,0.06461254948371065,0.03948355268405975,0.0,0.05680916471169701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0343014344063672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457698955512047,0.0,0.0524760083052347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04131177432161142,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Basharoooo,2019/03/06,"Is it normal to feel like you have 2 distinct personalities? I am having a tough time figuring out if I'm ""normal"" or not. My fiance came from a pretty suburb, with a upper middle class family. I came from the middle class as well, but my youth had a bit more trauma. Divorce, sexual abuse, drug abuse. My parents split when I was young and my mom was the one with her head on her shoulders. She was the one with the big house and the white collar job. My dad on the other hand was a bit more rough around the edges. An alcoholic, by the age of 7 I was cleaning and cooking around the house. By 13 I was my dads drinking buddy. He taught me to race cars and he was always a womanizer. In adulthood I noticed that there were always 2 conflicting sides. One side (I gave her the alias of Eliza, my middle name) was doing drugs, having lots of sex with many different people, sometimes more than 2 a night. She was having sex for money on camera. Cheating on her boyfriend with no remorse. Then there was my other personality, she is the one that the world saw. She was happy (except when she wasn't) she seemed well adjusted and going places. My question is, does everyone deal with this sort of angel/devil type thing? Do I just have the personalities of my parents? Or is there maybe something mentally wrong with me? I am posting this today because I am engaged to a great man with a good job and last night i had an ""Eliza"" night. I went out with a guy from work to a glory hole and did many things that I shouldn't of. I don't feel ashamed except for the fact that I would feel badly if my fiance ever found out. 

TL;DR I have 2 conflicting personalities inside of me and wondering if others do too. ",3.1343556591776185,4.893909462908013,4.265352903772786,85.91904673590506,74.54896142433235,6.713395506570581,22.12473505722764,7.447530270364453,0.7835435353963542,1327,34,266,16,28,433,174,337,0.121,0.772,0.107,-0.8003,5,0,5,0,3,0,44.0,0,1,0,1,12,14,1,1,27,0,35,10,3,0,3,55,49,18,0,7,10,5,5,1,0,2,3,0,1,7,12,24,3,2,9,2,1,5,5,6,2,4,23,7,41,8,41,24,6,38,0,0,2,2,30,19,0,10,14,191,53,7,0.0,0.21751354764556194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980961662222942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275415597683092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342607306653814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664126231265972,0.05595465793406284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20042298052517624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099678366506217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463201068208868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590157205617908,0.0,0.0,0.08032651540952253,0.0,0.0,0.0899197789039339,0.21289575718119333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302979366907033,0.0,0.08770978942423903,0.0,0.0,0.08653194688927035,0.0,0.13923615689917887,0.06557517627156302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006435834130422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052166676136988686,0.07698954546498199,0.0,0.1011993884651638,0.0,0.09088706055890394,0.0,0.09771273093868993,0.0,0.0,0.09420357008772776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21182790583168326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18217588419262384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482153683295363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04484421869525691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803703007146183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861223900166863,0.0922159295099697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925032695305802,0.0,0.0,0.1075039647602826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25841759603234843,0.17987046989918692,0.0,0.10450413204591756,0.0,0.0,0.2487985672588799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20384505203129846,0.0,0.0,0.0636359991978221,0.3205918172091307,0.09590157205617908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790995891651611,0.09338397299915528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282640602263224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356265530465062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066483802855174,0.09078318581488408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196310506279892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053523798895557376,0.0,0.08700669403216138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506142844287433,0.08509074520070319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954291927093234,0.06682460242173993,0.0,0.0,0.06520536219337894,0.10035854008502187,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snortinglexapro,2019/03/06,"Avoiding symptoms before bed time? Hi Everyone, I was wondering what advice y’all have for avoiding symptoms that come on right before bed. I experience most of my issues with depression and anxiety while winding down and trying to sleep. Any tips/tricks are welcome ",5.4913043478260875,8.848568130434785,5.4414782608695695,72.43613043478264,74.21739130434783,8.027826086956521,33.11304347826087,8.841846274778883,3.73541391304348,218,11,30,5,5,68,40,46,0.203,0.737,0.06,-0.7351,0,2,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,8,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,6,4,1,6,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,2,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23445791445030614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16316138977654196,0.0,0.18354665074095164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083274241871721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20667941567139192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066523228260404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22926446800828576,0.0,0.23469867537792724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504257541202965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489986625687331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401043962505067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4987606051271259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990576605102706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16289748157455658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601950658011176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thebear_thewretch,2019/03/06,"Coping with a depressed friend Hey! I am having a really difficult time. My housemate and best friend is extremely depressed and won't seek treatment. They usually come home from work and go into their room and shut the door, and are growing more and more emotionally closed off. I am trying so hard not to take it personally but it's so painful I just want to cry. I know they don't hate me but that's what the behaviors feel like and I can only be strong for so long. How do I stop feeling all the dark ""energy"" for lack of a better term?

​

PS: I should mention I am just pulling out of my own dark time so I'm very familiar and sympathetic to depression. I don't want to sound unsympathetic. ",1.6840714285714284,4.211199764285716,3.246785714285714,87.3694642857143,83.5,6.928571428571428,23.035714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.4367142857142858,557,20,114,12,16,183,94,140,0.17,0.62,0.21,0.6792,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,3,4,7,12,1,0,6,0,13,1,0,1,1,28,23,15,0,4,5,0,3,1,2,2,1,1,3,1,4,13,0,1,3,0,0,4,4,6,0,0,0,4,15,6,13,20,7,16,0,3,0,0,8,6,0,0,7,75,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857203712212092,0.20827934117174685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798819997362349,0.1515963445090554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765271498865407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882835124076893,0.0,0.0,0.44290007920997104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19281079917009128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333795324806325,0.12245382692181375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648586127080499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974150508465398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354779655490053,0.16922979924060272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193608387862658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420129060706227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374123421051786,0.0,0.0,0.15169058387371626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036342008254462,0.18239007424172474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966675321809586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098082799479626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330466656273153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288773971549408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998986317325937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637470205324753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887815684318008,0.14142945598231196,0.2022016225835507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478698135988567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827934117174685,0.0
mentalhealth,abmsintx,2019/03/06,Anxiety at bedtime Is it normal when the moment you get into bed you're being anxious and your heart rate increases?,9.908636363636363,8.244585318181823,10.153636363636364,61.45045454545455,59.45454545454545,12.436363636363636,40.18181818181819,11.20814326018867,4.839763636363637,95,4,14,2,1,32,21,22,0.163,0.8370000000000001,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606768312195451,0.5326321759190705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24632605509678895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5586997526991719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4619450719636286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MeltingDog,2019/03/06,"Is there a place I can ask ""Why do I feel this way""? I feel this is a question that doesn't come up much when talking about mental health. And as someone who has anxiety and depression issues I really wish sometimes I could just figure out *why* I feel the way I do rather than just trying to work with it.

Could I ask these questions here?",1.5877018633540416,3.7796243333333344,2.619503105590063,93.83869565217393,81.02898550724638,5.681987577639752,20.002070393374744,6.868970318607317,0.2289113871635617,265,7,57,3,7,84,50,69,0.09,0.863,0.047,-0.4151,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,17,16,4,0,4,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,8,0,7,14,1,7,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,2,1,42,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707683225622164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350295232822453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543529096196158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861309492827717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433267606371814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718055414700985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046638433480487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702367464407652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057738609318147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317223588375697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872112768771568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014587530829872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147911673117271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182375254829747,0.0,0.17721957806306451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440229537223402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165556095202805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844590806353229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233750659663384,0.0,0.2060551060710149,0.0,0.0,0.13044957322340595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OverallKarma,2019/03/07,"Idk what to do I get these random spikes of depression about one or twice a week but fine the rest of the day.  Some types of love song trigger this during school but at a much lower level.  When my buddies on xbox talk about girls this really seems to trigger some major sadness in me. I know there there are different types of depression and it be nice to research on this. I don't want to talk to people about this because they may think/treat me differently and I just could not do that. I just want to know what I should do, thanks

Sorry for terrible grammar I'm bad at writing",3.5879487179487164,5.040614290598288,4.103931623931627,88.79384615384619,72.76068376068376,7.2512820512820495,24.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.0489418803418804,460,13,96,6,9,145,78,117,0.208,0.677,0.114,-0.8663,3,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,0,4,0,9,1,0,2,0,22,18,6,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,9,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,5,0,2,0,1,10,4,19,14,5,9,0,3,0,1,6,6,0,6,3,68,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755356946478243,0.1281560278739654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785386822464166,0.0,0.0,0.13558283190517562,0.0,0.3621465868783661,0.0,0.0,0.4392972808830962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983801607409216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23107701358105776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897434052432084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545453752415287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14245925762876213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574902587366376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346805825765706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21276692415261447,0.0,0.19138814136018767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23533852567189545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379544919000337,0.0,0.1935542136913475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470875700379387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24800162920670304,0.0,0.1686361557287863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helloimamess,2019/03/07,"Is anyone actually happy? HONEST QUESTION. 

Are there actually people out there who are genuinely happy? Have hopes and dreams? Goals? See a bright future? Believe people actually care about them?

I’m really not trying to be just bleh. I’m really asking. I need to know if there’s hope or if this is as good as it gets. 

I’ve been diagnosed with major depression, severe anxiety, and bipolar disorder. So I know I’m not 100% okay. I’ve been working with so many doctors to try to get better. But does it actually get better?

Is there hope for my happiness?",1.3001415094339634,3.973709273584909,3.9145047169811313,78.7974174528302,93.0566037735849,7.178301886792452,20.775943396226413,8.07648339933343,1.9141150943396232,437,15,76,12,16,152,70,106,0.093,0.5920000000000001,0.315,0.9845,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,4,8,14,0,0,1,1,9,3,0,0,0,19,24,10,0,6,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,4,13,11,21,1,2,0,1,2,0,4,1,0,7,1,44,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.4971451983637441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974310795109537,0.0,0.0,0.08905401298176004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906566406646657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349262087147396,0.0,0.22528151761061346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985337833568833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969613891132134,0.1292690831641128,0.0,0.0,0.14596713422488627,0.13035973228506406,0.1114547703550532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996231366894708,0.0,0.0,0.10682465267903622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067355566968514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794956556599691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998892768532264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912441260202004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094436822741957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17659263919885682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426738532259215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318187640342766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014905015915822,0.0,0.0,0.14388206668721296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729399846344747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272057525477843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LittleStarDarling,2019/03/07,"Can anyone relate? So, I'm a Gemini. I don't usually believe in horoscopes, but I believe this: Geminis are two-sided. Or at least, I am.

Then think of it is, I have these... episodes where I act completely out of character. My thought and actions are completely irrational. To put it simply. I'm either a super hyped insomniac, with a brain on overdrive, absolutely convinced that I've got my sh*t together. Or I'm so exhausted that I can't get out of bed for days, convinced my life will amount to nothing. I just can't seen to find the middle-ground.

I've tried all the herbal teas, the vitamins, the yoga, the mindfulness, but nothing's working. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I just feel so alone, my friends see it but but they don't understand (this I'm beginning to isolate). There has to be someone who's experience something simular, can anyone relate?
",2.3261633986928096,4.827940688235298,4.058039215686275,82.79006535947714,80.35294117647058,7.777777777777778,28.267973856209153,8.680891452615391,2.5799346405228767,687,32,130,17,18,230,106,170,0.127,0.762,0.111,-0.6009,0,1,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,2,7,7,1,0,9,0,16,5,1,0,1,22,30,11,0,0,9,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,10,5,1,0,6,1,0,3,5,3,0,0,3,3,15,4,16,25,4,13,1,0,2,0,3,6,1,2,4,84,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812277008809192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447017785857981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3942876729022765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19533683425596546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669288153334427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284836656489924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116514192740814,0.0,0.0,0.0884757275404021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992960196223793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351900032023029,0.0,0.09142042931629672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994841128623994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616506443660576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359436175800308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17668108098996765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33579826730253043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759043868721827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394373224601995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826096140614195,0.13470903884458604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212085613094333,0.0,0.1389154883089581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188007154638956,0.0,0.17093115877033474,0.1821615492316742,0.0,0.0,0.19271701667457414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738836194271078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131441961611514,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slowkidmathclass,2019/03/07,"Uncertainty I am a 20 year old male living in the US, I've been in therapy at the recommendation of my teachers since I was 11. I'm a cancer survivor, when I was 8 years old I was diagnosed with non hodgkin's lymphoma and apparently over 60% of children diagnosed with cancer under the age of 12 end up diagnosed with some sort of mental health disorder later in life. In the 9 years of therapy I've been involved in, I've been diagnosed with ADHD, severe depression,anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, a rage disorder, and one that I cant remember the name of but it was something along the lines of being a disruptive child.  Some of the diagnosis' have replaced others, as symptoms evolved. Like the replacement of my bipolar diagnosis with that of borderline personality disorder. My issue is that I still dont feel like I identify with any of these and I fear I've been misdiagnosed. I've addressed these concerns with my psychiatrist because I dont seem to make any progress with treatment (therapy and medication) any advice would be really helpful. Thanks ",8.479545454545455,8.658433116161618,9.30878787878788,60.38318181818181,61.27272727272728,13.462626262626262,42.24242424242424,12.719339214003902,5.996266666666667,879,48,140,31,11,300,111,198,0.158,0.758,0.084,-0.8738,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,1,2,5,1,1,12,0,17,12,0,1,0,23,22,7,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,12,0,1,5,7,13,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,8,1,14,3,31,11,2,19,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,4,12,91,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698590706693253,0.0951212639807332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19858725176480152,0.0,0.0744661977346472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05933864756314106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951994437993743,0.0,0.0,0.5578105843899714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281676899631903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621592736965397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953656876020823,0.04921893039433617,0.06954098938920268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346976366631888,0.0,0.0,0.06524614542223166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159953150269864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875538023376747,0.0951125567254114,0.0,0.0859545779760859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497639617724986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980616057290704,0.09809762246391752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042876536985628,0.0,0.06596131154168759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699901809373662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235963891584649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102692647528285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861630355074301,0.0,0.10996850781269578,0.0,0.0805221289899527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493846041957596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773727382885436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011753842789196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961923571700339,0.3339564376315365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709017984784445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914880993427486,0.0,0.0,0.18805475077286304
mentalhealth,AintGotNoMilk,2019/03/07,I am in so much pain I haven’t filled some of my meds and I can’t stop crying. I miss my abusive ex and all my friends are gone and I can’t find a job. I feel so stuck in my own way like I’m two people one who wants to love again and be social and financially stable and the other who can’t get out of bed. I’ve been in my room for three days and finally took a shower. I feel like I can barely move. I heard a song from college when I was so active and happy and had friends and have been crying since. Sometimes I even feel like I need to go back to a psych ward not because of self harm but because I can’t take care of myself. I’m so sad.,0.5872448979591809,1.6234050884353763,2.6732142857142875,97.71553571428572,79.74829931972789,5.444217687074831,18.37244897959184,5.46131890053228,-0.6390448979591836,496,9,129,2,12,168,88,147,0.146,0.701,0.154,0.037000000000000005,2,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,0,5,0,14,2,0,0,1,22,31,16,0,2,2,1,3,3,2,0,1,2,3,1,3,11,0,1,4,1,0,5,6,4,0,3,8,5,19,8,13,22,4,17,0,2,0,1,9,5,0,1,9,81,22,3,0.0,0.19123186122491814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241061529383422,0.0,0.19677511578948856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455741441501376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545792584200156,0.10408924141065526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660276168861836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24482511293524,0.230607484348462,0.0,0.17680512069169216,0.14751610018018035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24939350578085756,0.0,0.08432450930955353,0.0,0.09172698141864374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181263056978674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016397038964586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23655473874883196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145669232873474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792783151820806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154198766200876,0.1186471077965566,0.11967558776801104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093683901577874,0.0,0.17174030917738822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189400107929524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16837474280043632,0.0,0.0,0.13351122671572516,0.0,0.0,0.16452633220893972,0.0,0.0,0.1596281038972065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349371003020066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135223983752945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793206387184952,0.0,0.0,0.1576637322403436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519753013709882,0.12811130738049895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,orchidloom,2019/03/07,Have you experienced Somatic Experiencing? Hello! First post here. Just wondering if any of you have done therapy sessions with a Somatic Experiencing therapist. It's a somatic modality for working with trauma. I'm especially interested to hear about people's experiences with complex (chronic) PTSD. Did it work for you? What are the sessions like? ,5.7651315789473685,9.549005578947373,7.683486842105262,52.66628289473688,80.9298245614035,11.97280701754386,38.703947368421055,10.411451182825502,6.7599842105263175,286,18,36,13,8,99,44,57,0.048,0.843,0.109,0.5461,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,3,3,3,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,7,8,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,3,2,8,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,26,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18566536880393844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793978720064068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26706941011913105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322336826840041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30771737104669145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333855101375571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18928014497914414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614810795553322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191499064703643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122262109289061,0.3170013719091039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960823814941237,0.3975287759760198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beingblonde900,2019/03/07,"My best friend just told me I need to “get over it myself” My cutting has gotten a bit worse, I’ve started having panic attacks again, and I’ve been experiencing suicidal ideation. My best friend told me, while I was crying, that I can’t get better if I keep feeling all this, that I need to be tougher, and that even if I’m suicidal (I have attempted before), that I have to figure it out on my own. He told me it won’t help if I keep going to therapy and asking for help. I’m hysterical right now. He won’t talk to me anymore. I just lost my only friend because I had a panic attack. Please help.",3.8283400000000007,4.084578184000005,5.513349999999999,83.36442500000003,71.16,8.17,26.825,8.07648339933343,1.5029399999999993,463,14,100,6,8,159,71,125,0.21600000000000005,0.556,0.228,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,5,12,3,2,2,0,11,0,0,0,1,16,28,7,2,5,5,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,8,2,20,6,9,17,5,9,0,1,0,0,13,4,0,3,4,66,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987919991179128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243187292332215,0.2979765609172505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798332727937518,0.0,0.11143909036966024,0.0,0.27487326153610525,0.11582532358228298,0.1429766803083503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385570325230854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864992234440794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066218366244472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035429510501684,0.0,0.13684457057285002,0.0,0.07442877216218785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633433794067126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328102408453565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296058850269736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19421345644654076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960256867177872,0.0,0.30731158387608376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437570445379008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184090687998592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092695639358327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865025347180421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052623649129582,0.0,0.0,0.14976656013996476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754196596486661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346155523212924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,an__faireoir,2019/03/07,"hard truths -- mental health, stigma and the transitionary nature of life  

* 📷
* [**conrad\_murkins** ](https://honest.cash/profile/conrad_murkins)  
Mar 8th 19

# hard truths -- mental health, stigma and the transitionary nature of life

[""have you ever stopped to consider how many people didn't screw up for you to be sitting here tonight?""](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CikveyZjum4)

mental health is a topic that is much more comfortable to avoid. it is a hard truth. as down as one may feel, i fully believe that the nature of the universe is an on/off system. everything is constantly in transition. even us. especially us. but yet, this is a topic we don't want to address, and i get that to an extent. where i come from, we don't talk about this. we are emotionally repressed. traditionally it has been more one-sided, with 8 out of 10 suicides in Ireland being men. recently however women have caught up in this tragic race to the end. Ireland now ranks among the highest rates of female suicide in the EU.

so in honour of Womens' Day, i would like to express this: the tide is turning. somehow, we are becoming more repressed and unable to deal with the struggles of life. i love the bones of every single one of you. i am blessed to have you in my life. not everyone has this -- as Terence says, there is only one true problem -- ""we are inappropriate to ourselves. we are ill with ego. we have a narcissism that we can't put down. the thing that makes you happy eventually makes you unhappy. nothing lasts."" to all my brothers and sisters out there, please realise the transitional nature of life. our state can change very quickly, but never, ever lose faith. practice gratitude and appreciate what you do have, for we are truly lucky to be in the situation we're in… looking at the bigger picture.

please don't be ashamed or afraid to speak. there is no shame in feeling down and out. isolation can never be the answer. there's already been too many promising young lives ended prematurely, for reasons that many of us will never be able to comprehend. please, know that you are appreciated, and know that you are loved, and the one thing we all have in common is that we suffer. suffering is relative so don't compare yours to others -- as Roosevelt said, ""comparison is the thief of joy"", and this is a two way street. do what you need to do but please, don't give up. you are valued and you are loved. stay strong. x",3.5054777365491634,6.428147568181821,3.8956771799628953,83.12616883116883,79.0,6.500927643784786,24.661410018552875,7.745696148679241,1.5705013914656774,1910,69,336,32,49,596,227,440,0.124,0.6890000000000001,0.187,0.9899,1,2,0,0,0,2,104.0,15,13,0,4,18,31,1,7,24,0,54,14,1,4,11,65,72,22,2,4,5,2,5,1,0,3,9,3,1,3,22,29,0,4,6,0,0,3,12,14,0,5,5,9,36,17,60,58,8,48,2,4,1,4,43,23,1,4,18,245,58,0,0.07937710614498117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759461046777034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766577739462822,0.0,0.08943081664779791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397045327271849,0.06837634841458845,0.0,0.08577845250914581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511916667593628,0.08183431099844103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928856054670219,0.14060911134225892,0.0,0.0,0.052427829985442535,0.14360227386645066,0.06687863543366247,0.0758482265526827,0.07133902473775837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027089976416596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04147126179151464,0.07614575313454883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449840550262364,0.2133188875599813,0.0,0.0,0.25312245597387417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724716329323626,0.06470293582938899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803319876505771,0.038779644569935705,0.0,0.07009143898201768,0.0,0.06665677752675453,0.08880267789882029,0.0,0.0,0.21492281215494224,0.0,0.10596966945021123,0.24142778070467705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23998035989858454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835130626345186,0.058857118422843635,0.18366155310714768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616447415850074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26893990709746396,0.06036986609265111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503009089118698,0.0,0.0,0.3485289041983246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595317046840355,0.0,0.07979591577953515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161288535540047,0.0783753161927314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550580511828382,0.0631238607702435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892231930773341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460543369051388,0.0,0.06636281500873656,0.0,0.08298218596020895,0.0,0.17365134139390914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638003111679949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546924447769043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633949777591428,0.07753989875901686,0.0,0.2864426557413383,0.0,0.0,0.06549442561266387,0.04681867379421496,0.06300585215771834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638721876495995,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,freeopenspace2,2019/03/07,"Signs of an identity crisis? Has anyone had a desire to do something out of character or did something out of character?

Gosh, I feel confused at who I am lately. 
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mentalhealth,caconci,2019/03/07,Holistic medicine Has anyone tried holistic medicine to deal with the effects of anxiety and depression? Thanks! ,8.863529411764707,13.230456823529416,5.077941176470588,73.79573529411766,69.0,8.105882352941178,49.67647058823529,8.841846274778883,6.047376470588237,94,7,11,2,2,25,15,17,0.252,0.62,0.128,-0.4199,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738408810822468,0.0,0.0,0.3416982634711356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5038103425978333,0.4209016407061207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4499133172039731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317834337596236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,goomy996,2019/03/07,"What do you do when you feel overwhelmed with grades and other things? I’m 12 and my mom used to push me really hard to get good grades. She stopped cause she realized her mistake but that mentality got implanted into me. Im constantly afraid of failure. Im afraid of failing my mom, my dad, etc. i also sometimes feel like everyone hates me and i consider running away sometimes. How can i change my mindset or at least improve?",2.5318340026773747,5.1479149277108425,3.6452208835341366,85.35396251673363,80.44578313253012,7.062382864792503,28.49933065595717,8.167268648758528,2.2776784471218203,341,16,64,7,9,110,60,83,0.18600000000000005,0.7070000000000001,0.107,-0.8155,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,4,8,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,15,10,8,0,1,2,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,3,15,2,8,9,2,8,0,2,0,0,8,3,0,1,4,40,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707445515225068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727914898566889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892840718087373,0.1945546360696777,0.0,0.0,0.19874366470710744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051106277049278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17573591112532422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18598298665700766,0.13138685459096747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608649150664816,0.0,0.0,0.1542567598010234,0.14709132228967878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647491346399757,0.1815751421103431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973132960868268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985017160395088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534015940226947,0.0,0.0,0.4307913021054871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781881279724338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637875767064453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375876655865162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218303984413292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884102164017969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ploofers,2019/03/07,"Not really what is happening ? I need advice .... Sooooo my family has a long history of mental health issues , so I knew as I got older I would probably end up experiencing depression or anxiety or maybe some anger problems . I never had a true understanding of mental health though. It was frowned upon in my school, programs were cancelled that helped support kids with mental health. My family didn't want to talk about , they were embarrassed. So now here I am 25 years later trying to deal with things I don't understand. I have gone to a doctor but they have just been testing me on different medications and not really fixing the issue I guess ? Sometimes they seem more interested in me being a guinea pig. I have always tried to handle things on my own before depending on medication as well.  I have also looked around for  a therapist but they are quite expensive ...anyways... I was wondering does anyone else experience random fits of anger even when you are totally fine ?  Or you start stressing out even when your happy?  Maybe get angry over the tiniest things even when you don't want to.. and then there are times when I randomly remember an embarrassing moment and somehow focus on it for the rest of the day and freak out for hours. I've only been put on medication for anxiety but I really think there is more going on.  Does anyone else experience similar issues ? If so any ideas on how to handle the situation ? Maybe some type of excercise or hobby to help ?Of course I'll still be going to a doctor and attempting to find a therapist but  like I said before I like to try handling thing on my own before medication. So just any kind of opinion , advice or ideas would be greatly appreciated because it's only gotten worse from when I was a teenager and it's just a huge feeling of being pushed over the edge and I can't always handle that... But yeah. ",4.588339901477834,6.695046328571429,5.771753694581285,75.17814285714289,71.42857142857143,9.05615763546798,26.068965517241374,9.581879112588783,2.6031881773399013,1485,49,257,37,29,494,191,350,0.115,0.78,0.105,0.4799,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,4,4,2,29,18,2,3,16,1,29,9,0,2,3,57,51,33,0,7,16,0,1,2,0,2,9,1,0,1,11,12,0,0,11,0,1,5,7,8,1,0,14,4,33,10,45,31,8,44,0,1,1,0,14,20,0,16,21,190,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743707853885385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603288860420327,0.12554330051779766,0.0,0.0,0.10260280057251507,0.0,0.11542191708172435,0.0,0.0,0.10549800899024134,0.15459322499555705,0.0,0.06715708804200353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598717718326498,0.0,0.19258019925643852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04865219231017369,0.07777474124806699,0.06497587172984365,0.0,0.0,0.0788181493576139,0.0,0.1544309093784685,0.1320351096062454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603992953114654,0.0,0.06681694461857914,0.0,0.0,0.14948109887769892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758847921934687,0.1422351639893516,0.0,0.038144443221538586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068950273607031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03941398926334632,0.0,0.08574793474390237,0.0,0.0603358048207608,0.08317223945269564,0.08310503881339894,0.0,0.06671084005217755,0.08030667752510302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24056576364183396,0.0,0.0,0.10113092135659088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429264382134228,0.0,0.0,0.17032387108257455,0.0,0.2362174998332903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855855887969976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371179118685836,0.0,0.0,0.06676152285624913,0.06335012247701409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273671457964285,0.0,0.0,0.3039891620542705,0.2280756099490588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055937382499996934,0.058183540195825875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475017403460122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133646645977684,0.07218534754038493,0.0,0.07583746507652668,0.0,0.08023912132632796,0.0,0.0,0.14498529449239386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545816974781505,0.0,0.0717601747256523,0.0,0.0,0.0763487321046433,0.0,0.06867722504759921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479708169166572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461152664448444,0.0,0.0533964178357103,0.0,0.0602460273720852,0.0,0.08641561379544904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560777276490017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060635357371451336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17518198871836954,0.200474424451078,0.04833854153597196,0.07411885833214728,0.0,0.043989339122258095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365526585655018,0.0,0.0,0.15707021722182782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899226242626011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782910874792761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181084533205768,0.0,0.0,0.07687922557641143,0.10718001521944637,0.0,0.0,0.048580520448297
mentalhealth,WouldntKnowIt,2019/03/07,"Okay. I need help. First I'm in stlouis USA. Second I'm on my phone and probably super rambling. Third here's my  throwaway. I'm sorry. 

So, I've been off and on meds my entire life. I just got back on health insurance. I've done this before. All of last year I was on top of my life. Wasnt on meds. Got a new job, dream job. Making money. Social. Responsible. On it. Since xmas I've been spiraling. Just had to borrow money from a friend cuz I couldnt pay my phone bill. My rent is late (they're being really nice about it) I'm a mess. My house is disgusting i can barely take care of my pets let alone myself. So... i need help. I've been on meds before but as an adult I've never paired it with a therapist. Last time I tried to get on meds and talk to someone it was a BATTLE one of the most difficult things I ever had to do. I finally got into a Primary Care Physician. Who told me that there is a shortage of psychiatrists and psychologists and therapist but ""what were you on previously? What do you need now it's probably going to be six months at least before you get in to see anyone"" 

So I got on meds. And gave up on the therapist. That was three years ago. I lost my health insurance painfully weaned myself off meds had a great successful year and now I'm in a rut, I cant shake it. I'm getting those fucking suicidal ideation fucking cutting thoughts. I'm not going to do it. Not even close. Just sometimes my brain pops it out as an escape. Even though 2 seconds later my brain is like.. fuck that that's dumb you're too old for that shit and you have your dream job dont fuck it up. You actually have a pretty great life and an awesome future to look forward to. 


Soo.... my question to you guys is... do any of you know any affordable therapists or a way to find one that could get me in sooner rather than later. I'm already working on getting back on meds... but it's the same situation as before through a Primary physician. And I cant just do meds again. I need to talk this shit out. I need help. I need someone to hold my hand because I'm kinda scared and I dont want to fuck my life up.",-0.10053269537479892,2.175200254545455,2.0900717703349296,93.82673046251992,90.77272727272728,5.269537480063796,18.628389154704944,6.8360192770164,0.18828030303030285,1632,48,363,24,57,547,203,440,0.141,0.723,0.136,-0.8238,5,1,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,8,0,6,21,27,11,2,18,1,34,19,5,2,3,49,77,23,1,10,11,0,1,1,1,0,9,0,2,2,23,16,0,1,4,2,6,4,9,17,0,8,20,3,43,10,55,52,4,56,0,1,2,5,23,29,8,4,25,224,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.057877944153495925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257468168623315,0.0,0.0,0.061427209067403274,0.0654499916746317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066558364511782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04147088783693178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121136303361647,0.0,0.03615478785160205,0.0,0.20187355621005745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241901208348028,0.0,0.0,0.1209408696564629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047354159585071935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060694658782598575,0.13902161178229214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783473096744639,0.05364923468936236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497113828685136,0.05420820905439912,0.050449003162088085,0.0,0.0,0.045822711153784286,0.27415541094177664,0.15493497399533526,0.0,0.06741440939121153,0.0,0.18974230268207112,0.1307788325676641,0.0,0.05872616354540342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608738176684986,0.0,0.0,0.11926260419225627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843570561559466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765678860665343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03259519096371008,0.09669103130302514,0.06690419368535762,0.0,0.0,0.060648430214011714,0.1675694535075453,0.028975839959712462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980541052567465,0.0,0.06474380377475561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039589844319427234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5270397672628496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04734062684738306,0.0,0.0,0.2638654061155036,0.04574348070663408,0.057281907928588685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223580316954321,0.0,0.08037989819924724,0.0,0.0631099559409707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060339529490159874,0.1278922895281477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644070453744666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03799546514951934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059379594873135766,0.0,0.04726234188773183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176159857794135,0.04906179379793348,0.06666685556235474,0.0,0.0604590129514148,0.10050623639278493,0.0,0.05865904546315899,0.06639262007514737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487544603387331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459369233797173,0.09534216346154308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754536384041965,0.03940288755285016,0.0,0.058271713180449575,0.04708546597223435,0.034584101941273,0.0,0.0,0.05667318765274055,0.0,0.040267554853288666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03498253823705445,0.04707746831859057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04317834141123187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145809670071094
mentalhealth,Throwaway2312430,2019/03/07,"Need Advice: boyfriend has mental health issues and I am trying to get him through this My (25F) boyfriend (25M) has severe depression. We’ve been together on and off about 7 months now. I didn’t realize how truly bad it was until recently. He got arrested for having a cartridge for his marijuana pen so it was considered a felony in the state he was arrested. He has a lawyer. His family is incredibly supportive. But to him this is the end of the world. The fact that he’s most likely getting probation (his lawyers words), and he’s going to get hit with a fine plus most likely drug testing, he’s just devastated. He’s made comments about hurting himself, which I have told his mom about (she says let’s go to the hospital, he’ll agree then back out or it just passes). He’s on antidepressants, and has been for years. As a teenager he had been hospitalized for a week to get treatment for it. He today has just made some extreme comments about actually coming up with a plan. He went to his psychiatrist yesterday who just upped his antidepressants. He wants to do medical marijuana (it’s truly the only thing that’s helped), but he really gets mad and angry and says that it doesn’t matter, the state won’t care about it. He is honestly a roller coaster and I don’t know how to help him. I try to do everything I can to distract him, support him, help him, encourage him. And I just need any advice on what to say... things like, “it gets better” don’t help him and he just gets even more upset hearing that. Any supportive advice will be appreciated. Thanks. ",2.6235324177579082,5.09903297359736,4.03315660598318,83.55577770680297,79.0,7.606047056318535,24.295645693601607,8.558390810932622,1.8514893857127648,1233,44,239,28,31,406,164,303,0.1,0.732,0.16899999999999998,0.9739,0,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,2,17,18,1,2,15,0,29,3,0,4,1,38,56,19,0,3,9,1,0,3,0,3,3,4,0,0,19,14,0,0,2,1,0,5,5,6,0,0,13,4,24,12,36,37,4,27,0,2,0,0,46,9,0,4,14,152,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.1030052589049289,0.0,0.0,0.3094377843529875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356037432923718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116433817545711,0.08813299384250065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335373699414913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761910925959144,0.0,0.0,0.09092523151638074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091331246180036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240886886883452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934893153739965,0.0,0.0,0.06971727344115886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486492757851868,0.0,0.099506705816769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3860324391358944,0.0,0.11997728659553955,0.0,0.08442099706043033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121987278011714,0.11896677678679382,0.0,0.2830018838706431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299750015217533,0.0,0.0,0.11017071824537758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580095947321197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079358872838342,0.0,0.15470472944525046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19975506976726892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633432433868813,0.1063733795340052,0.0,0.0,0.12362330653702393,0.08425201683397701,0.0,0.0,0.1565335746371125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027840296186495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762045166220794,0.0,0.1042216195399112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518217974996868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924572201177235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35934352186426155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971797351967298,0.0,0.0,0.1402504768731658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005263741756218,0.1008611562231095,0.0,0.1433281701275111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622583517946485,0.0,0.0846688720734915,0.0,0.0,0.09784940770199996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679731709246825
mentalhealth,GM-Abdush,2019/03/07,"Feeling like “someone else” This may sounds very odd and I don’t know if I’m even describing it correctly.
Sometimes when I’m doing things, i get this sudden “feeling” of being someone else. Like, the other day I was looking down at my phone in a meeting and all of a sudden I thought if my 6 month old son and felt “like him”.
It doesn’t make sense when I say it, I sound crazy! ",2.5624472573839654,3.685180962025317,3.73487341772152,91.73665611814349,74.82278481012659,6.279324894514768,25.824894514767927,6.42735559955562,0.7676059071729955,292,10,65,2,6,95,54,79,0.067,0.789,0.14400000000000002,0.5857,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,2,14,16,7,0,2,2,1,3,3,0,1,0,3,0,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,7,9,3,5,11,1,10,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,3,10,39,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224044569391335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39439898051703404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591670889068426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387200560160113,0.16864272292586874,0.2266565165611355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333263943734375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973348853563738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459838727813311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982326062344341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575732021285103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18842241719684025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24770733406628595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877259582649702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000290926762922,0.0,0.2334713304971529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568290876497705,0.0,0.0,0.18740684068103752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477585273027184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EthanJohnnyStew,2019/03/07,"My mom thinks I have mental issues cause I smoke pot I have done some shitty things to my parents and I totally understand that. I threw 2 parties at our home when they were gone and I enjoy smoking weed and partying. Throughout all of this I lied about going different places and where I was going and what I was doing but they stopped letting me leave the house so thats why i lied to them.  I didn't lie to hurt anyone I just did it so I could leave the house and go out once in a while.  That also more or less stopped working and I snuck out a few times and they caught me. They eventually found out I smoked pot and things got extremely out of hand. They told me to stop but I got sneaky and did it behind their back. They threatened me with military school and eventually sent me to boarding school in a tiny town with less than 200 residents. So my mom is basically telling me that I have ODD, Compulsive lying disorder, narcissistic personality disorder and all because I wanted to smoke some pot and have some fun. She said I have a mental disorder because I want to smoke pot but I told her I would stop doing anything she disproved of until I moved out. She later told me that that was the issue and I shouldn't want to smoke pot and party when i am 18. I really dont know what to do anymore and I might be getting sent to a school for mentally disabled kids and I really don't want to do that. I have plans to go to college and currently have a decent GPA. I always took my work and priorities seriously and put work and school before partying. I have never let it get in the way of my priorities and stopped when I had things like finals or AP testing. I honestly just wanted to have fun and just be myself but she is trying to warp my mind  She wants me to do a wilderness thing or other shit until im 21 then I can leave her house. I know partying is illegal for a minor but I don't believe I have a mental problem please help me.

​

I dont know what to do anymore and this is my absolute last hope",2.3524370132844687,4.2706556513317215,3.906100386100388,86.93881944898895,77.23244552058111,7.1767292716445255,23.75296119363916,8.098718942377014,1.2996185982592758,1596,52,333,28,37,530,188,413,0.15,0.723,0.126,-0.8621,3,0,5,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,8,4,13,10,1,0,13,0,43,2,2,1,4,74,74,43,0,11,11,3,1,1,0,3,0,1,1,2,20,31,0,5,6,0,0,12,7,4,0,0,22,2,71,6,39,44,10,44,0,1,0,0,29,12,1,8,20,243,91,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057234795428312835,0.059552277473887576,0.07754646111153775,0.08696582784272991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195714207934476,0.0500436636476582,0.0,0.05889631261164335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055033193290279656,0.0,0.08725726102669683,0.0,0.060901109629343336,0.08063529328300753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352248032739914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057143113113736425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477579896599135,0.2460775182672206,0.0,0.0,0.0732413326010545,0.16775987066263565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840183706742729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847321163934698,0.0,0.0,0.07478512402598103,0.0,0.1627003522010403,0.0,0.11448271872657642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047972107352425485,0.0,0.07179091208192341,0.07108552181503901,0.0,0.2477477776784212,0.07661755651539934,0.0,0.07730827627047042,0.14940173402313725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799960344710415,0.058339400247474624,0.0,0.2273480493411836,0.0,0.1463710955175452,0.0,0.034965665421825866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28850437955547176,0.07592484761861942,0.07226566673169048,0.1676446941297865,0.0,0.07606797198114973,0.0,0.0,0.0551994780424576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622010344762835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947042109995481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249248255213359,0.07477579896599135,0.07856276913560185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684831739892738,0.0,0.07194798518959318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169961759948383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807980703408176,0.0,0.0,0.2897321233596632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346595168634439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991801513112545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255565403377074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19019268255793573,0.04585940032419567,0.0,0.0,0.04173325567349212,0.0,0.0,0.2051656539319604,0.07951730947968562,0.0485915801686076,0.0,0.0,0.07450727454430776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532843353574101,0.056809224803254996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458112280057739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631223543686534,0.0,0.0,0.05084153419320933,0.0,0.08696582784272991,0.0
mentalhealth,scorpioassbitch,2019/03/07,"i tried to kill my self i attempted suicide last night and was taken to the emergency room. i was held in the emergency room from 6:30 last night until 20 minutes ago. i’m currently in the ambulance on my way to a mental health facility. i do not feel suicidal anymore, i feel very calm, and i want to go home. i get evaluated once i get there, hoping i can go home tonight or tomorrow",2.377582417582417,4.309504230769232,4.6403296703296695,81.64038461538463,77.2051282051282,9.072527472527472,27.809523809523807,9.606745405546679,2.78321391941392,302,13,62,9,7,105,52,78,0.172,0.703,0.126,-0.7053,1,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,9,15,4,3,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,2,11,2,9,11,0,17,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,9,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499249782465214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845903672654157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18822525166592413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19448987641959745,0.0,0.21156327414802475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978468665396648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734059627690859,0.18486850871874547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20592462261865135,0.0,0.0,0.30344063454606085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875746742987376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493396983321848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822175457071076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417357531974566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.407190744491756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636965633355424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357626213082592,0.10978395263379022,0.14774086765758038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nina1781,2019/03/07,Can bipolar people have a healthy relationship? I recently got diagnosed with bipolar. I have a boyfriend and for the last couple months I’ve been thinking about ending our relationship. Since I feel like I’m unable to provide a healthy relationship and It seems like bipolar people  can’t hold down/ handle a relationship. ,6.542499999999998,9.486766821428574,6.267285714285716,70.07771428571431,68.28571428571428,8.765714285714285,36.2,9.3871,4.036032857142857,266,14,39,6,5,83,39,56,0.0,0.802,0.198,0.8555,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,5,4,0,0,0,7,10,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,4,2,5,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,6,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021337503478588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541801032804225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180170253056972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236932174251876,0.13050779388581593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610718881684254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890991168329715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17849803487265695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145814735200889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532968827299611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803760720098431,0.7845268211981095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630649607235715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511161331722364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705501296134008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HCAaker,2019/03/07,"I need help. Hi guys, I need help with some of the symptoms I've been having recently because I'm starting to get really scared. Quick background- 27 female with bipolar 1 disorder and GAD. Medications I'm on: Trazodone, Lamotrigine, Quetiapine, Sertraline, Clonazepam and Lorazepam. 

Recently I've been experiencing what I first that were moments of disassociation but they became even... weirder? It's like out of no where I'll get this heavy headed feeling and if I talk I don't understand what I'm even saying. It's like a foreign language coming out of my mouth. I don't totally understand what's being said to me but I can get the gist of it. I'm a bit dyslexic but nowadays it's even worse. It takes me a long time to read things and understand what I'm seeing. 

The first time it happened I was driving my car and singing along to a song I know by heart when out of nowhere it was super foggy outside and I didn't recognize my own voice or what song I was singing. I was sure I wasn't singing the right words. I actually posted about that moment before but now I'm wondering if it's something more health related because it's been happening more often. 

I'm going to call the doctors tomorrow and get my appointment moved but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this? Is it a side effect from one of my meds?",3.2070897435897483,5.462377503846158,4.701153846153846,80.65301282051283,75.88461538461539,7.871794871794872,28.91025641025641,8.72156446121922,2.4898333333333342,1061,47,199,23,24,354,141,260,0.073,0.865,0.062,-0.5432,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,4,9,5,0,1,10,0,18,8,3,1,2,38,46,17,0,5,9,0,1,2,0,0,5,5,0,1,20,14,0,0,8,6,0,5,5,1,0,3,12,9,23,4,22,33,6,27,0,0,1,0,9,7,0,8,16,126,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.11518484783746602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253261194822657,0.12094050656030302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14390572430279056,0.0,0.10043884244054953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288633299009133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052663345900115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167644902933723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527800087621775,0.12081352471518075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986028522579812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338824333340509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968189467301916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008005238529526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24667305192493105,0.0,0.06708184439987848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687291784441965,0.20875540410533716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211376629391436,0.12546537455202486,0.0,0.1398716967373354,0.158232352784254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486878838389626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153315918710168,0.0,0.0,0.10445700182791404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311099510451384,0.1189075499548642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545221423856695,0.0,0.1750424800414503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998337258418386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304462200642434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806664939760901,0.0,0.07561605609477717,0.0,0.23309006774419186,0.0,0.0,0.10080099529944972,0.1122780365365386,0.09386593699366497,0.1181733335581754,0.0,0.09405837989585653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086888451021707,0.0,0.0,0.08354557351063732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124631496310416,0.122683255805404,0.08874741046153406,0.0948718268369016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841701486658091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765397434077067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686348797670266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560072105842934,0.0,0.0,0.1202874509596681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UsernameUsernm,2019/03/07,I don’t know what to do I am extremely depressed and in my Junior year of high school. I have always been an A student but this year I have had depression and anxiety that has made stuff very hard for me. I have tons of missing assignments and I don’t know what to do. I have nobody to talk to about it and I don’t want to talk about it with my parents or counselors/teachers. I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I am super stressed and tired from lack of sleep and I get distracted in class with thoughts of suicide and I don’t really have any friends at school. There is some other stuff going on too that I don’t really want to talk about but I really need some help and I am completely lost right now.,2.2783999999999978,3.626861306666669,3.6023333333333305,91.4995,75.93333333333334,7.4,23.833333333333336,8.07648339933343,1.0773333333333328,556,17,127,9,12,182,80,150,0.225,0.672,0.102,-0.9644,1,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,2,2,0,22,2,1,1,0,25,34,12,1,5,4,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,11,10,0,0,4,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,5,1,19,2,21,29,4,10,0,4,0,0,6,6,0,4,3,94,30,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307508393740076,0.0,0.0,0.10058560066998158,0.0,0.11315268974496245,0.0,0.14668949633865574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508348609117534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254793711303539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427686300536467,0.0,0.07727819830906034,0.0,0.08406210624173006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250058461207567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914265901321108,0.15627772154280595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438665944421739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146401223583934,0.0,0.0,0.13995842357818955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967527567031958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642393735773785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842696856900059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631650265343372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993907782744962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14801936262884624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16943331707085624,0.0,0.3386489455571444,0.16179231372722042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566594951997961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742603632496787,0.0,0.1700037081690907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204333777153176,0.17448529905964116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19050165503810848
mentalhealth,stasia_onyx7,2019/03/07,"My brother is schizoaffective doesn’t care to take his meds My brother is schizoaffective (schizophrenic and bipolar) and doesn’t care to take his meds. Instead he does drugs and drinks. I love him and want him to be normal again, but I hate how he isn’t even trying to better himself. He doesn’t want to go talk to a therapist/psychiatrist either. At this point, I’m really afraid of him especially when he doesn’t take his meds. He gets extremely paranoid and starts physically attacking us if he thinks were conspiring against him. I don’t know what to do. I want to runaway. I can feel my mental health declining drastically. My life just feels like a trap and hell hole. ",3.810442708333333,6.276946242187503,4.241875000000004,83.64895833333338,74.859375,8.329166666666666,26.291666666666664,9.075114841892004,2.268935416666667,541,20,103,13,12,170,76,128,0.153,0.718,0.129,-0.8552,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,6,9,3,1,2,0,12,7,0,1,0,19,30,10,0,5,4,2,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,4,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,1,2,18,5,11,28,1,6,1,0,0,1,19,2,1,1,4,60,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729963922774054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448952529969302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100817039259044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307349237007465,0.0,0.0,0.14896624048592694,0.17634763424279104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043778976815892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377771228091774,0.10863558159782516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944791677231325,0.0,0.08642229459968283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15013314100770744,0.0,0.16163845312539266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357118964438794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740831824913122,0.07429149346216737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724499774002605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5067312735154971,0.0,0.15324619858494856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489918458537642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437509938553535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741701550920406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763270197813518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430028610787377,0.12222444152301305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17655969770926572,0.0,0.09743739460588798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324245275650144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18291600247406786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26907641134907145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Glogrande00,2019/03/07,"I’ve been pulling my hair out for years Hi, I’m 18 years old and I have found out that I like to pull out my hair because it releases tension. it feels good to do it. I know it sounds weird but I also pick at my cuticles until they’re practically bleeding because it relieves stress. I don’t like doing it because it’s honestly really embarrassing but I can’t help it. Is there any alternatives that anyone can think of? I just really need to quit this habit because now it’s getting out of hand ",1.4460695187165769,3.7784221274509817,3.4126381461675592,87.11141711229948,82.62745098039215,6.846345811051696,23.97860962566845,8.00094639256281,1.4715764705882348,395,15,82,8,11,133,66,102,0.096,0.703,0.201,0.9102,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,0,3,0,0,8,4,3,1,0,14,15,5,0,1,3,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,12,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,5,10,5,12,13,0,12,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,7,49,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117920326151848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406793395105098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841536673834145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5524332152597788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145550711298984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484103220041597,0.0,0.0,0.1183677611271624,0.0,0.0,0.19002699557527586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185776630886594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451093766610885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22137063145687144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679906767518158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23773562847570434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24097345444402285,0.0,0.0,0.2902790781679246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595226446897445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451699014665932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917932210026197
mentalhealth,Kaje26,2019/03/07,"Can I ween myself off of lexapro? I’m going to call my psychiatrist tomorrow to ask, but I don’t know if she’ll respond.",2.2796153846153837,3.4073223461538475,4.910769230769233,83.0092307692308,75.53846153846153,8.276923076923078,28.384615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.141292307692308,95,4,21,2,2,34,23,26,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,7,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,4,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5863943832845839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6404927147776124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.356480815890231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447203757704666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aromaofhappiness,2019/03/07,"Where am I supposed to go to get diagnosed with a mental health problem? I’m 95% sure i’ve developed depression in the past eight months, ever since the school year started, but I don’t want to just assume I have depression without having it actually get diagnosed. Plus, if I DO have depression, I don’t want to leave it to be untreated and progressively get worse. Let’s just say this year has just been the hardest in all of my life personally and I’d much rather not get into the details. I’m from the U.S. Thank you",3.864711538461538,5.386118355769233,5.1376923076923084,81.38230769230772,72.17307692307692,9.046153846153846,28.384615384615394,9.516144504307137,2.5448500000000003,415,16,83,10,8,138,70,104,0.182,0.746,0.07200000000000001,-0.9319,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,6,0,11,4,0,0,3,20,22,5,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,1,1,7,2,13,19,2,11,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,2,6,54,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.16394088392320896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4340868310169721,0.3410269326163605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519629469466306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3510860927617167,0.0,0.0954765932549864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17857300497405373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788461582382878,0.0,0.17178836261825955,0.11866128249864903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930150996270474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409364006185068,0.0,0.12349715947013502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037219054199595,0.0,0.14668854141758256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075048540042566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359799461415175,0.0,0.17002198041177466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896889324127112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890917448215145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583352285535495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466910968380582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19817802184716185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194315823699662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712033431951397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163691804268177
mentalhealth,immarrypoppinsmofos,2019/03/07,Someone with mental struggles So I know this guy who has been battling organic personality disorder and frontal lobe brain damage this person has had a super f'ed up life but has managed to hold a job have a family but has lived the last 15 or so years with no medication or psychological care except marijuana. he has triggers or so he calls them he needs help but doesn't need to be locked up guidance from the right person's with help in sight and not greed he is struggling really bad and I don't know what to do for him without hurting his life ......,6.93333333333333,6.728179000000004,7.272592592592595,74.98166666666667,64.55555555555556,10.162962962962963,32.814814814814824,9.725611199111238,2.9158037037037037,444,16,85,8,6,145,77,108,0.152,0.693,0.155,0.3158,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,3,9,2,2,5,0,13,4,1,1,0,21,18,12,0,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,7,0,0,2,1,5,2,13,15,0,6,0,2,1,0,15,4,0,3,2,54,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225916536172786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19019906717933616,0.17397578483343398,0.0,0.17371252232281692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19526884388705465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606179513507254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870178004824918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284026108722736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18239400885821624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16907465020964685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872714444334207,0.13888144662225327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406871433596985,0.0,0.0,0.15044758505743888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163869704412882,0.17170173767450586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526674144164252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4463045391128406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091490098706923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550254799225348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14436138819373018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562337900839417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642390648489498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971834884011734
mentalhealth,lindzwils,2019/03/07,"Today. I haven't been legit depressed in a long time. It's been nice. I haven't wanted to cut in a long time. Also, been nice. But every now and then I find myself missing it. All of it. The depression. The hiding in my own little world so I didn't have to have any conversations about anything. The sting of anything touching cuts I did myself. It's not a good thing, and I dont know why it happens, but it does. Normally it's just a moment of it and I'm good. But today, I wanted to cry. I dont know why.Nothing happened but I just wanted to sit in a corner somewhere and do some harm to myself. I didn't. But the thoughts were there.",-1.0255147058823546,1.076116889705883,1.551705882352941,96.04917647058826,97.01470588235294,3.6023529411764708,16.358823529411765,5.341637118332708,-0.692231176470588,491,13,109,3,20,167,68,136,0.166,0.778,0.056,-0.9301,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,7,10,2,0,9,0,14,0,0,0,1,22,24,12,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,8,1,14,4,13,16,3,17,0,3,0,0,1,7,0,1,9,79,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817142974499232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899213053641588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26378445271451456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17605397113260265,0.0,0.0,0.27608831937453376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025726219259593,0.0,0.3756809527448474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503814722587365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648795509607598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688612299268404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834603557247781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761653060866986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063711702367975,0.0,0.2836757115149318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703494374638935,0.15378766938208188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647923115676576,0.0,0.0,0.12724002038319945,0.18691465593808188,0.0,0.3038429000726491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836020916282528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462277329626386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,creepingforresearch,2019/03/07,"What do I say to a friend that just left a mental health institution? Pretty self explanatory, but she admitted herself 2 days ago due to major depression and bereaving a parent.
I don’t really know what to say, but I want to say something 😬",5.644184397163119,6.330463063829789,7.341276595744683,70.33333333333334,67.29787234042553,11.373049645390072,30.56028368794326,11.20814326018867,3.711275177304964,192,7,35,6,3,67,35,47,0.16899999999999998,0.677,0.153,-0.5789,1,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,5,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,1,4,5,1,4,0,1,0,0,9,1,0,0,3,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21778258915315415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844479787000634,0.0,0.21160585728651168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189813582451064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26114886082056066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502060030307486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669346037795005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24759003449813244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728011870327359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24994728525557774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573904113338175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5861294226380928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563002835632011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891382842366472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490982176331252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BreeChick96,2019/03/07,"Antibiotic induced psychosis Hey guys! So I took a series of three antibiotics and I started having a psychotic episode with them (started feeling I was out of my body) if I tell my psychiatrist this, she won’t institute me will she ",6.219689922480622,7.705481976744188,7.013953488372092,70.30527131782948,66.44186046511628,10.38449612403101,39.91472868217054,10.504223727775694,4.731998449612403,187,11,31,5,3,62,35,43,0.0,0.951,0.049,0.2003,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,1,0,6,8,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,10,0,4,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,2,25,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4366162664931013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19874987231439728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38920476010106503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5564391733420908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435637375845118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43671934167224585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Simann123,2019/03/07,"Mental Health Charity CALM and Amethysts Release Video For How It Is https://youtu.be/HBQt34_JEZA

Mental health charity, CALM and East Anglian duo Amethysts approach toxic masculinity and male depression in their video for ‘How It Is’. 

Simon Gunning, CEO of the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM): “Suicide remains the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK, so it’s crucial we talk about this issue and the themes that surround it. Music can be an extremely powerful medium for this, so it’s great to see Amethysts opening up this conversation among their fans and beyond.”

[How It Is](https://youtu.be/HBQt34_JEZA)",10.897058823529413,12.203896352941179,8.277254901960784,65.99764705882355,56.05882352941178,10.72156862745098,42.49019607843137,10.504223727775694,4.958478431372549,516,26,69,10,6,149,70,102,0.126,0.7190000000000001,0.155,0.3689,1,0,3,1,0,1,24.0,1,0,2,1,7,6,0,1,5,0,4,2,0,3,0,10,5,10,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,10,7,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,4,14,4,1,11,0,2,1,0,7,10,0,0,0,47,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232375973005048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28575485642917603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5510078499236511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705241484221895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22886708891321705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5223995698954154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20653867992968689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28350878201327484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20832489246686128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Orut-9,2019/03/07,"I’m just so mad all the time I never used to get like this. I was always the person who stayed calm and helped others chill out. But like, the second something even slightly inconveniences me I just see red. I can’t even play on,one games anymore without almost breaking my hand from punching shit.

And then I get mad at the fact that I’m getting mad about such stupid things. It just snowballs until I’m sitting there shaking feeling like I need to fucking destroy something. I wish I could just duck everything in this room up. I want to put my fist through my tv. I want to smash my controller off the wall. I want to break all of the windows.

I feel pathetic. It’s not just video games but I don’t do much else these days so that’s usually the only thing that’s even slightly stressful in my life right now. But like, I feel absolutely pathetic for getting so mad about something like that. I play games to enjoy myself and to escape real life for a little while, and yet whenever someone else kills me in a game I actually find myself wishing that they’d kill themselves. I’m 22 but I sound like a spoiled fourteen year old.

I don’t know what happened to me. I’m literally mad all the time and all it takes is a little fuse to set it off.",2.6887012987013,4.575597682539684,3.580447330447331,89.79435064935066,76.14285714285714,6.010389610389612,25.740259740259734,6.7829847944221076,0.9499619047619052,984,36,203,9,22,314,139,252,0.183,0.6759999999999999,0.142,-0.969,0,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,1,17,23,11,2,12,0,8,5,2,2,6,39,32,15,2,7,11,0,4,6,0,0,2,1,2,1,17,6,0,1,5,8,0,2,6,13,0,1,1,7,29,10,26,29,5,32,0,0,2,1,8,13,2,1,18,125,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.1118372419869087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475962834955172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535993879540557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365664718862105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853844108101026,0.09150218934102372,0.0,0.0,0.07391027735968675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19147433461275729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270851312854651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299893398124052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17384209699704747,0.08187331802222972,0.0,0.0,0.10474623247874268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059498069046874,0.23950401739216035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013441832121324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681683077561212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25358530379611016,0.0,0.06298351319719013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189677946953676,0.3359391636393393,0.22972718532990266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424732975593069,0.0849776188705298,0.08838988315728419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025790966007233,0.0,0.0,0.0871617165358054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006803373653388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520895178426613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304447567128044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787142593384536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132477049544636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763964290749215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710383156356807,0.26468391329707663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215291015229103,0.0,0.0,0.13127881150986945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616815324098312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227597782478886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365335048696422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898129854930217,0.1262204193815915,0.0,0.20278971470157686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26357852413597666,0.1104744328715385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380139660963915
mentalhealth,confusedhealth28,2019/03/07,"Does getting help for mental health count against you in the future? I have been struggling a lot with mental illness for years now but I have been reluctant to use mental health services because I'm afraid it might count against me in the future. Does getting assistance bar or prohibit you from anything, such as a driving license or certain career fields like teaching for example? 

​

I live in the UK if it makes any difference legally.",8.059375000000003,9.176811187500004,6.727500000000003,75.3275,62.125,8.9,41.0,8.841846274778883,3.963075,365,20,56,5,5,109,57,80,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.117,0.5362,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,2,5,0,5,4,0,2,1,10,10,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,6,2,12,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,5,5,37,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959994906897032,0.21980703851935535,0.12301469882133705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886104549348825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027181946840957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899661316806812,0.0,0.0,0.3166045985377407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18902018235462328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3845655257750989,0.0,0.0,0.12125000256121565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883760846861492,0.0,0.15973346367519645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15379032969930018,0.0,0.0,0.12074871476201662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5468983752845427,0.1919008456432144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18911057012489185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562350669955728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980703851935535,0.11649035032542622
mentalhealth,selliott21090,2019/03/07,"You’re not crazy, take your meds. Ok, so this is a long post because I feel like it’s really important to speak openly about mental health. There is nothing to be ashamed of with having a mental illness. 

You are not crazy.
You are not worthless. 
You are not broken.
You are not a failure. 
Your mind is brilliant.
You matter SO much.
You are beautiful the way you are. 
You are strong for fighting through each day. 

While I am a big supporter of speaking out about mental illness, I feel like I only do so when I’m ok. I don’t speak about the bad days. So let me enlighten everyone.
I have rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, moderate depression, generalized anxiety, mild PTSD and adult ADD. Yeah, it’s A LOT. I know. 
Yes, it’s real. I feel it every single day, all my disorders feed one another. On a good day, I can conquer the word. On my bad days, I can’t do anything and I’m so overwhelmed with the smallest things. 
To put it simply, I either wake up as Tigger or Eeyore. I have no in between and I never know what day I will have. I can’t “snap out of it.” The bad days happen and they have been happening often. They are dark. They are crippling. They are days where I do the bare minimum to simply make it to bed time. They are days I don’t shower. I don’t clean up. I avoid EVERY thing I can because I can not mentally or emotionally deal with doing anything that isn’t necessary to keep my kids alive and well. Simply answering the phone is sometimes too much on certain days. I hide every bit of pain that I can so that no one knows. I suck at accepting any sort of help because I don’t know how anyone can help. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to put into words to explain how it feels like I’m suffocating and there’s NO reason, except for the fact that my brain doesn’t work like it should. 
I don’t want anyone to judge me or feel sorry for me. So if I’m having a bad day, you probably won’t know because I won’t/can’t tell you and you won’t see me. 
I have suffered from mental illness for 19 years. OVER HALF MY LIFE.. (tell me again that it isn’t “real”). I have tried numerous holistic approaches, diet changes, exercising, hobbies, meditating and 15 medications before finding the right combination that worked. When I found it, I was FREE. I spent an entire year not being weighed down and drowning by the symptoms of illnesses. I was having good days 6/7 days. I was managing the bad days SO much better. I felt like ME. 
And then...I stopped taking my medication. My medication is like a ladder. It helps me to reach all my other coping skills. Without my medication, it’s like I have ZERO tools to help me and I’m left trying to dig myself out of a massive pile of rubble with no hands.
I stopped taking my medication because I was embarrassed I needed it. I didn’t want to be dependent on store bought chemicals. Then I realized, everyone is dependent on their brain producing these chemicals!
IT’S NOT MY FAULT MY BRAIN DOESN’T MAKE THE RIGHT CHEMICALS IN THE RIGHT AMOUNTS. 
And it’s not yours.
I’m tired of SUFFERING from my mental illness. I want to thrive. I want to be myself and I want to love who I am and my life. My mental illness will never go away but I can learn to manage it and to embrace it. I do not have to “suck it up” and “deal with it.” 

I also need glasses, no one told me to try harder to see clearly when they realized I couldn’t and needed help. 

Mental health is the same thing!!

So, today I went back on my medication and I can finally take a deep breath again. I’ve got a lot of work to still do, but I’m prepared to do it. I deserve it. My husband deserves it. My kids deserve it. 

Medication isn’t bad. Stop shaming yourself. Stop shaming others. End the stigma of mental illness! M

Do what you need to in order to THRIVE, enough of this surviving bullshit. 

And just because you feel better on your meds doesn’t mean you should stop taking them. You feel better because you take them. If they work, take them. If they don’t work, find something new. 

Do. Not. Give. Up. Do not be ashamed

I choose to take my meds for as long as necessary because I choose not to suffer. I choose to thrive and if that requires medication to treat conditions I didn’t choose to have, I am thankful to have the ability and resources to have access to medications that make me, me again. 

So to whoever needs to hear this, take your meds. 
Got to your doctor. 
Advocate for yourself.

You deserve to make the most of the this life. 




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mentalhealth,KalliopiMS,2019/03/07,"Help for a Friend I have a close friend (who gave me permission to post, she doesn’t use reddit) who just left her abusive husband. She has two kids who are understandably having trouble adjusting, acting out and stuff. 
She’s working her ass off, got her own place, and is currently getting therapy for herself and her kids from a local DV women’s shelter. 
What she desperately needs at this point is anti depressants. She’s not self-harming, but she is dealing with crushing depression and anxiety. No insurance and finances are strapped. Does anyone where I could take her? If anywhere? I know Kansas budgets got cut so the county health dept is only treating cases with self-harm or other extreme issues.",5.870625000000004,7.9795285625,5.811375000000003,76.19612500000002,68.0625,8.245000000000001,33.1125,8.841846274778883,3.11219125,568,26,90,10,10,178,96,128,0.206,0.7490000000000001,0.044,-0.9641,1,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,0,4,0,11,2,1,1,0,20,20,9,0,3,5,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,7,9,0,0,3,0,2,1,3,4,0,1,3,0,16,3,9,16,1,12,0,2,0,1,24,9,1,2,1,62,23,3,0.0,0.2089193908234188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489014307326774,0.0,0.0,0.12329236843781195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078325290702498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178602885290773,0.3037414333620237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430548439834446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27246055635975946,0.0,0.0921239013394075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28205060357646217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742800961103853,0.0,0.0,0.11818868370781813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840402190187228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690504600240812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158046994920666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074469250456436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410509706098606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422482856684655,0.0,0.16668659057889068,0.0,0.1688731140009527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678963167601416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20185293350416425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325764224618157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016459951976187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224645874181935,0.1835632660528416,0.0,0.15229044558483182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836860398890113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LightBylb,2019/03/07,"Appointment?? How do I go about scheduling a therapy appointment? I understand that you have to call. I have a list of numbers I am considering. But what do you say? How do you set up a consultation?

Also, has there ever been a case where the therapist hasn't believed you?",1.6677472527472543,4.414141269230775,4.099450549450552,78.90269230769233,88.23076923076924,9.125274725274727,26.659340659340657,9.23628265651192,3.322826373626373,214,10,40,8,7,74,37,52,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,0,9,0,0,2,1,5,11,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,8,0,4,10,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,35,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748642099378492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3872426906653481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509656331223389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109047473909869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19533792088224386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27333143770923857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930615489890985,0.3990729987196153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578135118503955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Unwise_Perspective,2019/03/07,"Do you subvocalise your thoughts? If so do you use ""I"" or ""we""? Hi all, there's something I'd be keen to hear your thoughts on. 

Something that's interested me for some time is when I subvocalise my thoughts I will naturally use ""we"" instead of ""I"". Here's an example:

* \*opening fridge door to get a yoghurt\* ""oh we need to put the bin out""

or something more related just to me might be:

* \*setting alarm for the next day\* ""oh we need to wake up 30 earlier"" 

However on other occasions I will use ""I"" for instance:

* ""I really shouldn't have said that""

I try to correct myself but (in my head) but will very naturally lean to ""we"" rather than ""I"".

Is this something that other people have observed about themselves? 

​",1.6394757033248055,4.286828224637683,2.9671867007672645,88.24776214833761,85.59420289855072,6.435464620630863,26.958226768968448,7.724431198458867,1.8617633418584827,557,26,110,11,17,180,87,138,0.013,0.955,0.032,0.3485,1,0,4,0,0,0,47.0,5,4,0,0,8,3,0,1,4,0,13,2,2,3,2,27,24,7,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,1,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,2,23,2,18,13,3,12,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,5,4,79,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17634383017590738,0.19776385609844171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496282949274197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503221824625344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670325009156993,0.0,0.18343552332810026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726562146444282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413599742509324,0.0,0.0,0.17309066569979606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283309204081185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636126665216009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426434399050268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481627089028344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5011837496910097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876253549019328,0.09490313349810683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049924443240663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4217014548074465,0.0,0.13428904865751004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19776385609844171,0.0
mentalhealth,Nikhopps,2019/03/07,"How to get rid of trauma ? Emergency please My friend said that she is crying because of her childhood trauma. I don't how to handle with it .
How can she rid of that ? ",0.6902941176470598,3.0271859705882385,2.301470588235297,93.70161764705885,86.35294117647058,4.576470588235295,17.323529411764707,5.985473137389443,-0.3370352941176469,129,3,27,1,4,42,25,34,0.27,0.602,0.127,-0.7319,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,4,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,5,1,6,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855342916878158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5145190081273401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618872119016297,0.0,0.24472138096347834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5141661421461343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455587821802523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Confused0wl,2019/03/07,"Something is wrong with me Please hear me out. I have been dealing with this for years. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me but I am really struggling. A bit of a background- I'm 20 now. 14-18 I was severely depressed and was suicidal and attempted multiple times and I had horrible anxiety and panic attackd. Today I am in a much better mindset, i am not nearly as depressed as I used to be and I'm very productive. I work very part time and go to college full time and my GPA is a 4.0. I have alot of passion and drive to succeed and do good in school and I have many plans for my future. The only thing I still struggle with is anxiety and OCD.
However, I really struggle with something else. I cannot handle any information thrown at me. I could look someone in the eyes and they tell me multiple tasks and it's like I blank out and freeze and can't remember anything. Or I'll feel like oh ok cool then start doing the task and I forgot completely how they showed me to do it. I hate to say this but it's like people have to hold my hand through everything I am a hands-on learner if you just tell me how to do something I can't do it and if you quickly show me then walk away I STILL can't do it. However if I physically do it as you're standing there guiding me I can eventually do the task. 
It is also hard for me to make connections in conversations. Some could tell me their birthday is April 2nd then a few sentences later they'll say their birthday is March 12th and I wouldn't even notice. I am such a slow minded person someone has to speak then stop speaking then I have to think about everything they said then I have to think about what I should say then I should finally say it. I cannot do anything fast I can't even move fast. For example, it takes me 3x as long to finish assignments than it does other students. 
I feel like I'm honestly too stupid to do anything and that I have no future I am too stupid for any job; I'm just too slow no matter how hard I try. In ceramics today we learned how to make clay and despite being one of the first people to start, I was the last person to leave and I didn't even finish making the clay the clay kept messing up on me and I had no idea what to do the teacher was helping other students. In my head I was thinking of course I was the only students whose clay had to mess up. And I just broke down in my car because I'm realizing that I am probably not capable of being in this world. I wish I could be like other people. ",1.97012601185012,3.7294316660268727,3.6621067345406,88.9800965951765,77.82917466410748,6.910473170324626,24.377910373028456,7.818819491935897,1.207973178669782,1962,68,423,31,46,655,225,521,0.157,0.733,0.11,-0.9821,4,0,3,0,0,0,34.0,1,2,6,6,22,27,3,4,18,2,62,4,3,8,0,76,88,45,1,10,11,0,6,5,0,4,0,8,0,2,23,31,0,4,11,2,0,5,14,14,0,2,14,17,71,13,58,63,7,60,0,3,2,1,27,19,0,6,40,299,94,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476748707640476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015163706907058,0.0,0.1239138995159965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999430313698048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609255172572749,0.0,0.0,0.04937060998975301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162886697995158,0.08841984894405618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491622936850199,0.0,0.0,0.1939912152600433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349689309935714,0.13951273456661314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708746905180387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765655760104641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604789309880972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455767599107538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190171891012146,0.11571821086021865,0.0,0.08872033054422457,0.0,0.06888985408268418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602835075957398,0.06793037367718555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451018456957405,0.07996062713850575,0.08311886606337926,0.0,0.09128135309707976,0.0,0.05428573335022591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914275883650328,0.0,0.0,0.08036984640859714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04450985764917288,0.06601746932608718,0.0,0.08575646881329879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783754500900436,0.0,0.0,0.07167339482748926,0.06801100613659569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621838942719343,0.08211091146962991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177657666261544,0.0,0.0,0.08607930464935817,0.059536797241197585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922073860524094,0.0,0.0,0.05488076186893242,0.1231927340515306,0.0,0.0950240408662468,0.0,0.0877040248153022,0.0,0.1684443197600899,0.1414342805203968,0.0,0.08890244293875091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732066653118213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376823667037786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174561752820196,0.0,0.07703981449128766,0.2576252523151143,0.0,0.08196596762025612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149538341935742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724473280974409,0.18704963735501,0.0,0.0,0.11464994728035098,0.0,0.12935706442541114,0.06771107134588633,0.0,0.2540042663914848,0.0,0.08858965947182852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060894225170332016,0.0,0.2123658772885593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380600217671196,0.15568491661069456,0.0,0.0,0.14167735259269051,0.0,0.15353765767352304,0.0,0.0,0.05498673520261326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994915470285754,0.0,0.13365007873258866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313423460470596,0.0,0.0,0.05896151465659536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709919154603065,0.0,0.0521547543262756
mentalhealth,ermagaawd,2019/03/07,"Considering going back on Antidepressants - how do I (26f) know when I’m ready? This is my first post so stick with me, it’s an essay. 

TLDR: Overcame difficulties with depression and anxiety, feelings are starting to return but not nearly as severely. When do I bite the bullet and ask for more medication? 

I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression on and off for around 5 years. I finally sought help just under 3 years ago when things got tough and after being given online worksheets to help I ended up attending an 8-week course of CBT therapy. During the CBT I ended up ‘caving’ and going on SSRIs at the same time - it helped and for a time I felt better, I was in a toxic relationship and ended up on a second course of CBT within a year.  

Eventually the relationship ended and I gradually took myself off my meds over a course of 3 months. Everything was golden, few minor hiccups with stress but ultimately I was coping and then around a year and a half later I’m finding I’m not dealing with the stress as well as I once was: I went on a new contraceptive pill which sent me into mood swings and 0-60 on the anxiety scale. 

That was November, I came off the pill as soon as I could and signed myself up for more CBT, this time it was Group Therapy and most definitely not for me. I’ve been trying to follow the necessary steps with my anxiety because I realised it’s not that bad, it’s no where near as bad as it was and ultimately, I knew I was going to be okay. 

But recently (talking the past month or so?) I’ve noticed that my depression is creeping up, I had an evening of feeling empty for the first time in what’s felt like a long time and it’s got me on high alert. 

But how do I know if I should go back on the antidepressants? Do I just swallow my pride and do it but risk having a bit of a set back or do I just accept that things aren’t as bad as they once were and I need to keep that in perspective. 

Can anyone offer advice on getting back on antidepressants even for a short time till the stress subsided? 

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mentalhealth,gingeraiyle,2019/03/07,"Something happens almost every time I go to my clinic that has me irked, and I'm wondering if this is a common thing that happens. I go to a mental health clinic once a month for therapy, and was going once a month for medications until I got on a medication that works well for me, so now the person who prescribes my medication gives me 2-3 months of refills and I don't need to go in as often.

The last few times that I have gone in for medication check-ins, I have been told that I need to wait in the lobby afterward to speak to their (coordinator? I'm not sure what her title is but all I have spoken with her about in the past is kind of 6 month goal setting type things and she is the one who assigned me to my therapist). When I get to talk to her, she basically just tells me she's going to set up my next therapy appointment or asks me about it, and I tell her when my next appointment is scheduled for. Then I get a funny look from her and the person at the front desk (who originally scheduled my appointment when I was last there for therapy), as though they either have no idea that I have an appointment scheduled, or they don't believe me.

They then look in their system to check if what I'm saying is correct, and it always is, but it's kind of left me feeling like these people think I'm lying to them. On one occasion someone called me from another office of theirs to tell me they would be taking over my case (from what I understand some type of program where they call every so often to check in on you and make sure you're doing things like making your doctor's appointments and working toward whatever your goals are, aren't relapsing etc), and I had told her that I had already said I did not want that service at this time.  Anyway, during one of those visits I was told to talk to the coordinator lady and I told them about that phone call and they again had that kind of unbelieving look on their faces and kept checking their system and so on. When I got to talk to the coordinator she finally ends up getting what I'm saying and says this person should not have been assigned to my case and so on, everything's fine and life goes on.

I'm not sure of the cause of the confusion, all I know is that when I come in and I'm about to leave and they tell/ask me about my next appointment, and I tell them, they look suspicious. (Also, I'm not required to see a therapist to be prescribed my medications, it's just a thing that was recommended to me when the holidays were rough and I haven't decided to stop therapy sessions at this point since I've benefitted from it. I have major depression and social phobia.) 

So, my question is this:

Is it common for patients to come into a clinic for medications, have it suggested to them to see the therapist and they claim they have an appointment with the therapist but actually don't? Or am I missing something? 

TL;DR: Mental health clinic staff made me feel as though they did not trust me when I told them I had an appointment scheduled with the therapist in the same office next week. I'm wondering if people working in the mental health field have to deal with patients lying about their appointments or something often.",10.084881516587679,6.568643763033174,9.813078041074252,69.8053421800948,60.816745655608216,13.224366508688785,38.116208530805686,11.126944784690435,3.933101156398103,2534,81,500,49,25,833,236,633,0.063,0.8859999999999999,0.051,-0.8665,0,0,3,0,0,0,52.0,0,3,22,6,32,15,0,1,29,0,46,16,1,5,6,86,101,54,0,8,19,0,3,2,0,2,15,5,0,3,37,30,0,4,10,1,3,10,12,3,1,3,24,14,88,12,87,73,8,79,0,2,6,0,69,27,0,16,40,365,125,16,0.0,0.0,0.05242251218868952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379234957017329,0.0,0.05928083722555245,0.0429594887687696,0.0446989523793872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632961114444277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044101797739828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06052351458994142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456093913884706,0.0,0.0,0.05518475508195055,0.0,0.09254923696325572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055382476659894236,0.0462685525118836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05498421529259569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757955881872994,0.0,0.059911476116797875,0.0,0.0,0.09052204193473197,0.0,0.04827964974928167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432441696420371,0.03837724299792013,0.0,0.058847119374570475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419871177025043,0.051532668195917945,0.15265023445855366,0.0,0.0859288310991268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500800601489592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130404519853845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064281065729658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782187187403982,0.029522848825730873,0.08757717367391378,0.0,0.05688122582999481,0.05836642657527195,0.0,0.0379436927461285,0.052489297803567335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180443502514224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083071821261207,0.07171640688824077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247006496357172,0.16240995395158364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17151366547128755,0.0,0.0,0.07966470170156054,0.0,0.0,0.2285253185511644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441909256455846,0.10920523149286253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05128136991961425,0.07448471642734505,0.14071746472965685,0.0,0.0,0.050782319579259015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060178167942563976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109957472153142,0.12815977930786354,0.0,0.0,0.08561502070995662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04443735037564893,0.0,0.0,0.054760295821085096,0.045516383480786037,0.12406775618259835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044911932519065854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518900639690705,0.0,0.04039040111594551,0.12953317017196295,0.23476618521793746,0.0,0.24573185724035104,0.3118625740741404,0.1427554750411144,0.034421305753374425,0.10555833104080374,0.0,0.0939728699110207,0.0,0.0,0.2566565652900985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05592392529797455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031685170645656305,0.0,0.04309056669011307,0.0,0.048300308966786734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651307762445336,0.11732537300813818,0.0,0.0,0.03816081285545665,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Abstraction_,2019/03/07,"Can I feel depressed for periods of time without being clinically depressed? Recently had a few upsetting and big changes in my life, I am typically a mentally sound person but lately (last month) I have been constantly anxious, sad and been getting quite fatigued with everything going on. 

It has been painful, I hope I get better but I just would like to know how to appropriately describe what I am feeling, as I know it is insensitive to say “I am depressed” when you are actually just sad. ",6.689333333333334,7.967391711111107,7.56666666666667,67.53000000000003,65.22222222222223,10.888888888888893,39.444444444444436,10.864195022040775,4.8067777777777785,394,22,65,11,6,132,67,90,0.287,0.596,0.116,-0.9561,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,4,11,0,1,2,0,14,4,0,1,0,15,22,7,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,8,0,0,4,4,11,3,10,16,1,12,0,6,0,0,3,3,0,1,9,49,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.18393285350654864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21293287499347688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16669847164484985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939070987662855,0.0,0.0,0.20368386582800616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4870220752009949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939695130822174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906059936872196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969498557125486,0.0,0.1071196020188568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872067934240416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20717136975861075,0.15363933149465714,0.21261776720103734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313157626346886,0.0920835908131867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18994718757887075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504458513546208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005598929034206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645766532056001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004755629039853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610486574033008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988976382269378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990633217982892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816915127427616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389337724543315,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HeterosexualDogboy,2019/03/07,"I fucking hate myself a lot I don’t wanna sound too melodramatic but I truly feel worthless and unloved so much of the time. I don’t know why, really hate myself and my self esteem is in the shitter. I just want somebody to love me and I feel like that’ll never happen because I’m so ugly and weird. I met this girl a while ago and she was great but I fucked it up so badly with all my emotional problems and everyday I just feel like dying bc I couldn’t earn her love. I don’t know how to get out of this dark pit, I’m going to a therapist but I really need help. It probably has to do with my mom being so overbearing and strict when I was little, I project how I needed to act to gain her attention onto my relationships. I have nightmares all the time and sometimes I fucking scream bc I hate myself so much. ",1.1999380804953574,3.2298452923976626,3.3762160302717596,88.77266253869968,81.45614035087719,6.362710698314412,21.169934640522875,7.5105763829236425,0.7788235982112144,639,19,136,10,17,218,97,171,0.231,0.581,0.188,-0.902,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,11,17,6,0,6,0,12,5,0,2,3,34,34,20,1,6,5,1,3,2,0,1,0,2,0,2,5,11,0,0,6,0,0,2,5,12,0,0,3,5,29,5,15,28,5,14,0,1,0,5,11,5,3,1,9,95,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253682549249792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542029890800867,0.08426666196725886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346591655895904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549556428509026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096870323265936,0.19750996311445027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833875850990832,0.07222198694213852,0.0,0.07856203265814353,0.0,0.0,0.15240437479103858,0.0,0.0,0.12224059297717488,0.0,0.0,0.4094347916200942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265588460052816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15194048157444795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350690990706111,0.13854760316595466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752229888903573,0.2495246404776281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189894806023114,0.0,0.0,0.20323699337636345,0.20499873187153705,0.10661521350182557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904051399944368,0.13227205174898826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771135281548299,0.0,0.0,0.14841246153151802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420906300537867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367177695981712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050127807643502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121166799198008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153447716186649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247354221406805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,erizo93,2019/03/07,"Suicide If I could beat these thoughts there isn't anything I'd pay. 

It's time for my brain to stop over-ruling my soul. 

I'm sick of this. 
I'm sick of being alone.",-1.4359459459459458,0.5420210810810815,0.3716756756756752,105.57805405405406,94.94594594594594,2.9600000000000004,15.508108108108113,3.1291,-1.5025848648648648,128,3,33,0,5,41,30,37,0.377,0.591,0.032,-0.9326,0,1,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,4,6,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,15,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062577189534896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227923130944381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378861306890841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31318357366490884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279426123346543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4290631321519317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31140652964962584,0.2287269530884852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,frogs25,2019/03/07,"18F with possible BPD I suspect I have BPD. Obviously I’m not a doctor and don’t want to self diagnose, but it’s difficult for me to go to the doctor. I have about 6 of the main signs but I’m still not sure. ",-0.595744680851066,1.1932302765957488,2.8887659574468114,91.09400000000002,86.65957446808511,7.164255319148936,20.038297872340426,8.238735603445708,0.9402970212765962,161,5,40,4,5,59,34,47,0.172,0.8009999999999999,0.027000000000000003,-0.7305,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,3,3,0,0,2,11,7,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,7,7,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,25,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.627347199227299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527836045573934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.509832702600981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154258849113385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28076989444708583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598166489719317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19889408849369475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347295534409344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468979424066054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ghost-Music,2019/03/07,Brain Zaps when I’m not in withdrawal. Title says it. I’m having bad brain zaps even though I’m not in withdrawal from my medicine. It’s shocking my whole body and making me dizzy. I forgot to mention it to my psychiatrist today because so much more was on my mind. Has anyone experienced this and how did you deal with it?,2.6092820512820545,4.7160887230769255,3.884230769230772,86.50993589743591,77.15384615384616,6.7948717948717965,23.14102564102564,7.793537801064563,1.107410256410256,257,8,52,4,6,84,47,65,0.157,0.843,0.0,-0.8046,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,3,2,0,9,9,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,7,0,7,6,3,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803971245917308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21541626882643,0.157272248288948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28657590757872264,0.0,0.5760187511554574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265983023211651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040422959289184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221464142127066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260502879583064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896570846499526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051691413981669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534802134963141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445504787599913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28804383567101915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,feymadcap,2019/03/07,"Need suggestions for my research paper I'm writing a persuasive essay for my English course and my topic is why and how we should reduce the stigma associated with mental illness. 

If anybody knows about some good credible studies/statistics that prove that it is a problem or show how it can be alleviated, send em my way",9.318926553672322,8.805282813559323,9.680000000000003,60.69028248587573,59.847457627118644,11.934463276836158,41.700564971751426,11.20814326018867,5.021910734463276,262,13,40,6,3,88,49,59,0.09,0.862,0.048,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,2,1,15,8,6,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,4,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,28,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777248434779671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474957534262306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4538380216899853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33392230345872675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4309157212827289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35745989351255114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4063628989687018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MagicWagon,2019/03/07,"Do Anxiety medication work? Ok the obligatory first time poster and on mobile format. Ok well I guess I should explain I obviously have anxiety. I'm 16 in the UK and my Mum who's quite strange (she's antivax but that's unrelated) and doesn't like me using medication like antibiotics, I've been talking to her about getting some help about my anxiety but she says the Anxiety stuff doesn't work. So I thought I'd ask reddit for help. I'm not sure how I'd convince her even if there was proof.",1.4874242424242432,4.0728705959596,3.480025252525256,84.80670454545456,85.46464646464648,7.7444444444444445,25.421717171717173,8.59863814320734,2.2391474747474747,395,17,80,11,12,133,68,99,0.159,0.7,0.141,0.0594,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,7,7,0,0,3,2,7,2,0,2,3,17,15,8,0,2,4,1,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,3,1,11,7,6,11,1,4,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,3,4,44,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5687347089280079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375558224352014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275988739101727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809385090310402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710505715959132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20474759584231966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491583339437924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160525819172127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744721799149086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19768677590000786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780466866534445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127671577166308,0.0,0.0,0.1751724347509777,0.0,0.0,0.1493885788648821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755341375529155,0.10837744084565303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605248172121087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711197230108635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706190347261591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heheu37djfj,2019/03/07,"I think I'm starting to realize just how much I've missed in life I was talking to a therapist and I told him of an experience I had where basically for no reason I just felt present and was able to talk and it felt comfortable. He said that was normal. I never knew normal was that good. Apparently I've been depressed since at least 3rd grade (10th now) and have social anxiety. I never knew I was that far off from being ""normal"", its demotivating and motivating at the same time. If I could sustain that feeling even 10% it'd be great.",3.222388369678093,5.065094644859818,4.92704049844237,80.91357217030117,74.51401869158876,8.120041536863967,25.907580477673932,8.841846274778883,1.9609530633437169,425,15,85,9,9,144,74,107,0.087,0.775,0.138,0.765,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,3,0,12,1,0,3,2,25,23,7,0,5,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,9,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,13,4,10,3,10,6,3,12,0,2,0,0,7,6,0,1,6,59,17,2,0.1766093098945975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510563866842834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100816312049674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211333982405995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664878354331056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17275779374651531,0.0,0.0,0.08929897359872517,0.0,0.3391452670740713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481315099676345,0.0,0.19471238764442853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474437853635363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982816370017194,0.0,0.2724239748186234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5191188779690911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158378481067264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679958968347855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609304617506227,0.0,0.0,0.18003095050270596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250049785465255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28390374690303805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050570209489986,0.0,0.11316411460907745,0.0,0.0,0.10298230885398794,0.0,0.0,0.1687577640299922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ddboyd,2019/03/07,Another alleged Muchausen by Proxy case in Texas. Officials say Shawna Bieber twice intentionally deprived her daughter of oxygen. One of the incidents was reportedly caught on video. [https://www.star-telegram.com/news/local/crime/article227180479.html](https://www.star-telegram.com/news/local/crime/article227180479.html),29.45741379310345,39.11945534482759,12.465086206896556,18.607284482758644,30.034482758620697,11.175862068965518,41.73275862068965,10.125756701596842,6.783406896551725,291,10,18,6,4,62,28,29,0.1,0.9,0.0,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,10,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7083886353742823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457780217433612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5372362737185538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pachonik,2019/03/07,I think i need a break Lately i have lost a lot of  interests in almost anything.I'm just thinking about how every single day i do the same stuff everyday 7 days a week 4 weeks a month and so on.I think i need to take a brake bc im feel like im burnt out and kinda sad.Any suggestions for feeling better?,0.8843781094527365,2.436223731343283,3.2067910447761214,91.96053482587065,80.34328358208955,6.257711442786071,20.12189054726368,7.1686216300943375,0.3356487562189052,238,6,55,3,6,82,52,67,0.041,0.8009999999999999,0.158,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,6,0,2,0,0,1,0,17,11,4,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,5,3,6,10,3,10,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,3,8,28,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936580414970034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539205262906442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608416154230627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568007947160436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677468992133169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013377582420631,0.1422341647551157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4301155164338397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22458886933501526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726820960116313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173367151632348,0.1692642311202994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891646355184386,0.0,0.0,0.2952542033204677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22791719467920565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969535375852686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827178784476782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194054748708761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Umwanted-vermin,2019/03/07,"Sadness Quick question, for some odd reason I randomly get sad, out of the blue for no reason whatsoever, it just happens. It normally happens for 2 hours to   up to a day and I hate every minute of it. I want it to stop but I have no clue what it is. Thanks for reading",1.5801785714285683,3.2919238035714287,3.7387142857142885,88.20628571428574,78.82142857142857,6.622857142857143,25.485714285714288,7.554174236665415,1.2594257142857144,207,8,45,3,5,71,40,56,0.233,0.6829999999999999,0.083,-0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,12,8,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,11,8,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,3,4,32,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621968032229349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118997398979625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139845826517965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.444801538553365,0.0,0.0,0.2483043491178905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476770060838976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464167675456331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817377483322669,0.0,0.25156822899491377,0.0,0.0,0.5171681230334141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21026540311511546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315475659412523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483413161023942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KingandCommand,2019/03/07,"Trapped in a job and I'm losing the will to live Hey all

So I'm trapped in a call centre style job on decent money relative to that kind of job.

I have a business and marketing degree but no work experience in the sector.

So I feel like I'm trapped in this kind of job having done nothing but this since university

My current employer sometimes throw me a line of hope of moving into a different business area but I've been stuck in my team for 18 months now and I'm becoming exasperated and almost suicidal

What can I do?",1.8334494477485137,4.1273982242990686,4.084010195412066,83.10761257434156,80.77570093457945,7.255395072217502,25.61512319456245,8.296473431620573,1.9030822429906533,418,17,83,9,11,144,69,107,0.222,0.7140000000000001,0.064,-0.9562,7,3,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,7,0,7,0,0,0,1,12,14,9,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,3,1,6,4,14,10,1,13,0,1,0,0,3,8,0,2,4,50,10,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656246764349644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267182180973354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688923704856965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728082851364756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926210435618144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179339535159956,0.0,0.0,0.08363144623825125,0.11816212723158152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642799848715138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6565377702485765,0.0,0.0,0.34447826936911835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080631385763731,0.0,0.14605164332798695,0.0,0.0,0.1850408156462029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320210753705753,0.1757945214045856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587062097115018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368209761500159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635852919147776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092126617058388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041351045489568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NoOneImportant11,2019/03/07,"I have a story I have been working up the courage to post this for a week now and I think I am finally ready.
This is quite a long article so strap in.
Also sorry for the bad formatting I'm new here.

I'm sure someone is going through something worse now so it's not just me.

I have been depressed for about 4-5 months now and it isn't getting better.
I don't believe it will ever get better.

I have a secret that I am forced to keep and I need to make sure to not mention to much about myself or someone might find out who I am.
I have no Idea what's wrong with me and I hope it's not a condition, I don't want anyone to have this as well.

I was watching a medical show and there was a woman who had surgery and it was said that if it went bad she couldn't feel love for her son. They said that hugging makes you feel happy. I hugged my mum and felt nothing, just emptyness. I started to pay more attention to my emotions and started to realise that I fell no love for any of my family. 

I recently got very strong crush on a girl in my university and I couldn't stop thinking about her for months, everything I thought about reminded me of her. I never knew why it felt so strong but I know why now. 
That was the only time I have ever felt love.

I have had a very hard time with my emotions, I had a friend who had severe depression and talked about killing himself I tried my best to help him but he had no one to go to and didn't want to talk about it to a counsellor. He then attempt suicide and nearly die from it. I messaged him not knowing if he was still ok and he didn't reply for a week. 
One day a broke down while I was trying to go to sleep. I knew that it was my fault that I couldn't help him I started crying harder than I ever did before, but I did something I didn't think I could ever do. 

I have always been very sensitive to sadness but for my first time ever I tried to stop, I really tried and I stopped crying, I never told myself it wasn't my fault I just stopped of will. I went to sleep in 5 mins give or take.

I woke up crying again but this time not because he could be dead but because I was afraid of myself.
I know that I should of went into grief but I didn't. I felt like he trusted me and I thought he was one of the best people I have ever met, I felt nothing. 

It turned out he was ok and he attempted suicide and that he has finally got on medication, that day still scares me. 
I still feel happiness sadness anger and fear but I have almost full control over them, but if I don't pay attention to them I lose it and I have to regain control. I was walking with some friends through the dead of night in the woods with out any light, I used to be petrified of everything but I just did want I did before and suppressed my emotions and lead the group through the forrest.

I can't just suppress them though I can also make myself feel them, force myself to be angry, sad but what I do alot is force myself to be happy.

I feel empty inside and I can't help it but no one knows I just make myself happy and I'm on my way. But it's draining mentally to keep making myself happy, it makes me question my sanity.

I love the control over my emotions I just wish I could love my parents.

I have been getting more angry recently, if I don't notice it I can't stop it and I keep getting more aggressive, I keep saying I swear I'm going to kill them sarcasticly but I can't stop saying it. 

If I ever get to a stage where I try to hurt or god forbid kill someone I will end myself first. I have morals and I can't live knowing I'm a danger to others.

If anyone know what's wrong with me than I would like to know but I doubt anyone would talk about this.

Thank you for reading and even if you don't know if you have any suggestions on what I should do I am up for suggestions.


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mentalhealth,Psychotic_Genius,2019/03/07,"Sertraline (Zoloft) Im starting these today What should I know while on this new medication?

Im Bipolar Psychosis with schizoid personality.",5.199782608695653,8.708482782608698,5.122065217391307,68.58135869565217,90.7391304347826,7.517391304347825,36.184782608695656,8.07648339933343,4.282921739130435,116,7,16,3,4,36,20,23,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,8,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7169895021861348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18239633368986188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343410860622066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205383887631498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897907967749164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349112213130227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145899281875158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,killme_555,2019/03/07,"Recently, strangers have been looking at me like they know me. So, I know that a there are a few psychological disorders that don't start to manifest until adulthood. I turned thirty one recently and I've been noticing  that strangers are looking at me like they know me. I don't mean they look at me like I'm a familiar face. They look at me like they really know me and it doesn't make sense. I'm also starting to see the physical world differently. It's hard to be specific. Anyway, does this sound normal? Should I get some sort of psychological evaluation? ",3.016868686868688,5.576169777777778,4.409461279461278,80.93621212121214,78.07407407407408,8.37171717171717,26.484848484848484,9.095868883498916,2.4743777777777782,448,18,86,12,11,148,63,108,0.014,0.883,0.103,0.8385,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,5,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,10,1,1,1,0,12,27,5,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,7,16,4,9,23,2,10,0,0,5,0,5,5,0,2,9,54,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094055612089794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710704935296734,0.18765698295726466,0.0,0.14328750134123114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554591360248127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14667634354221154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599426673182096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199748433594493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5499919399597606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929583277263703,0.0,0.0,0.17835777990989235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604276624320758,0.0,0.18641585389770887,0.0,0.0,0.11095254430636284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489422417512816,0.0,0.3233414050094028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047732579412855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317880241117133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809902323085866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,inhrn,2019/03/07,"First admittance​ into hospital UK Hi, Will be going into a psychiatric hospital in the UK in the next few days for the first time. To say i'm nervous is an understatement! If anyone has any previous experience/tips or ideas on what to take that aren't obvious i'd really appreciate them. Thank you ",4.184210526315788,6.464243210526316,6.4524912280701745,69.1061052631579,73.03508771929825,11.577543859649124,28.94385964912281,11.20814326018867,4.291781754385965,241,10,42,10,5,85,48,57,0.037000000000000005,0.857,0.106,0.6058,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,1,2,0,2,0,1,5,0,5,0,0,0,1,6,9,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,2,1,8,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,5,27,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21738948343382705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22352370061747945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616347497760334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5438295858817159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816782693599093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608733693864611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33997724050802364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047915397977016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542178310303917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403552866959369,0.0,0.0,0.29431314223524896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864046527974556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mitch-tibbens,2019/03/07,"Any good online social anxiety and bipolar tests? I’m looking for a good test for social anxiety. I’m obviously not looking for a diagnosis just from an online test but I just want to check if I meet the criteria. I don’t feel like going to a therapist just yet so I just wanted see if I meet certain criteria. What are some good online tests for this? Also any bipolar tests? I’m less sure that I qualify for this but it runs in my mother’s side of the family and on occasion I’ll go from feeling fine to wanting to die. This usually happens when I smoke and I remember some awkward situation earlier in the day which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but often it leads to suicidal thoughts. Not necessarily wanting to flat out kill myself but feeling completely worthless, outcast, and the ol’ feeling of “I won’t kill myself but I wouldn’t mind accidentally getting hit by a truck.” Yesterday was especially bad and at some point I started to realize that I was trying to rationalize suicide. At no point did I really plan on doing it but just the fact that I started rationalizing it was a bit of a wake up call. I know that smoking is part of the issue but I still don’t think it’s normal to literally want to die over a bad social encounter. It’s not even always when I’m high. Sometimes I’ll just have a weird interaction and it can take me from having a good/decent day to wanting to having a bad one and wanting to die sometimes. So yeah, any recommendations for good tests for either of these would be appreciated.",4.479381818181821,5.862458186666667,6.3661818181818175,73.70809090909094,70.46666666666667,9.321212121212124,30.96969696969697,9.688023934748609,3.0711333333333326,1216,52,225,29,22,423,149,300,0.229,0.66,0.112,-0.9946,0,0,1,0,0,5,19.0,0,0,0,2,15,17,2,1,18,1,18,3,1,1,4,56,47,21,7,12,19,1,4,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,18,8,0,0,9,0,1,4,9,9,0,1,5,7,20,8,38,37,7,27,0,1,3,0,8,13,0,6,11,154,38,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153180912525349,0.07442818854086418,0.0,0.0,0.18248382560443946,0.0,0.1368554780840531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987425270331323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976544257474234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913367610999902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378488783513117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537356520827315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784997799007652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907978822009551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432393890297181,0.0,0.18091108327848934,0.0639019154919827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046733068382634524,0.0,0.10167111152544747,0.3751251394045373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909887601559461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450708747548532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336083269931916,0.0,0.0,0.1979226815845917,0.0,0.04915847109826721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04369994312330947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022816320294574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031732952439846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876403863513937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060612513467225924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686384088368034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911519644162745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05730290021915758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132753789511624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127874999447584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054368744220868,0.0,0.2735439694871722,0.0,0.0,0.17693340065183805,0.0,0.12662399786182482,0.0,0.07143356380776282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568394260331426,0.0,0.08430400652064741,0.0,0.06725402340492027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385642269653372,0.059425505778186866,0.05731488766650166,0.0,0.07101199439885307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072955466520049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098514714775516,0.0,0.369312659572825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354153784123875,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stigglets-ugo,2019/03/07,"What should I do? I study abroad in July, and I’m depressed and now want to take the anti-depressants that I turned down the last time I was at the Dr’s. But, I don’t want it to get in the way of my social life when studying abroad.

What are the risk of stopping anti-depressants early.

Any questions fire away! Cheers ",1.0538311688311701,3.2442253787878776,2.211385281385283,96.00136363636366,83.0909090909091,4.983549783549783,18.51948051948052,6.18269132825596,-0.25808831168831103,249,6,55,2,7,79,47,66,0.151,0.7609999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.6114,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,0,5,2,0,0,0,8,11,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,6,1,9,9,0,12,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,6,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671038943257455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308701361302351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6349371250695971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283830667402385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030162985234867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356539794181805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27527230246788226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504893922473605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20544013710429132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475734793720155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328633984897887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26728218593898345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898742243546589,0.19504794822145985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PopSixSquishCicero,2019/03/07,"Susan Schofield: Mother of Two Mentally Ill Kids or Munchie Mommy? Hey, guys.  Anyone familiar with Oprah's Seven Year Old Schizophrenic, Jani Schofield?  Just an [update video](https://youtu.be/kJrk1sUOoPk) after the February 2019 Dr. Phil episode.  This woman may be seriously harming her children, and she claims to be an ""advocate"" for the mental health community.  Real MH advocates need to step in and help Bodhi and Jani.  DCFS and Dr. Phil are now involved.  I highly recommend watching the latest Dr. Phil ep. on this family.  It serves as a warning for overdiagnosis and overuse of meds.",6.347142857142856,9.739362081632656,5.570775510204083,72.57779591836736,71.04081632653063,8.817959183673471,32.248979591836736,9.3871,3.8089681632653054,476,22,67,12,10,144,80,98,0.104,0.843,0.053,-0.6561,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,4,6,0,0,0,11,5,7,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,1,3,0,11,2,0,10,0,0,1,0,10,3,0,2,6,37,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18258883179578667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461710195450243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585606953911032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775699887536068,0.0,0.0,0.17503057134129954,0.2758991856967334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900576176257681,0.0,0.5263171577713505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19362529060303466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740130050092543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972241898733427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25508699428134785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815977024753864
mentalhealth,southpenguin1,2019/03/07,"what is wrong with me im 17 yrs old and for a long time I’ve been getting this feeling of complete emptiness and nausea at random times regardless of my circumstances, recently it has been occurring much more I’d just sit completely numb crying although there is nothing in my mind that feeling would just sit heavy on my chest I feel so suffocated all the time to I don’t know how to explain but I feel so detached from myself like nothing I say, feel or do is real I don’t feel that the emotions I show are true i feel so distant and detached from myself and everyone and every interaction I have is so hollow, sometimes when I get this I feel the need to bang my head against something or cut myself but I’m to scared so I usually just dig my nails into my skin , I have tried speaking to my mum about how I’ve been feeling but she says that everyone feels that way and it passes or she says I should pray I don’t know why I feel this way or if there’s even a reason for it is this normal?",2.6108439897698186,4.180928748792276,3.923074737141235,88.62370843989773,75.52173913043478,6.802955385052573,25.703040636544472,7.5105763829236425,1.211968684285308,789,28,167,10,17,259,114,207,0.097,0.831,0.07200000000000001,-0.6183,0,0,1,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,0,15,6,1,1,5,0,18,4,3,3,2,46,36,23,0,6,11,1,12,1,0,2,1,4,0,0,12,8,0,0,15,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,16,28,2,18,31,3,17,1,0,0,0,9,4,0,6,9,113,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384158505099781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248895416715648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789251713947428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509503013537272,0.0,0.09579364899706898,0.2172824952041626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6323683625951155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880276772280893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668473325592693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281101767807034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496852069884615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554604450397765,0.0,0.0,0.1006172407430976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480038752193968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357952452941476,0.08430402484466545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113977834452532,0.2181884500566041,0.0,0.11930465855011385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294107572904277,0.0,0.11689825970100727,0.11226092579068722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712464865388513,0.11382937040090182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752861243216313,0.11244809311439233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19889087614692005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719201227840193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521990511009762,0.0,0.0,0.1804929316282004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259281148868228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076626275739952,0.12430855294411575,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,epitaph1128,2019/03/07,"I (20/m) think my girlfriend (21/f) has NPD???? (ADVICE NEEDED) Hey guys

So, I’m concerned for my gf. Me and her have been dating for 4 years now (earlier years has been absolute hell but she is better now) but best friends for 6, and having known her for so long I’m very concerned for her.

Ever since she was a child she had very abusive tendencies. I’ve heard this from her family, including her mother.

My gf would have a perfect child face, got everything she wanted, grew up on being told she was perfect, so when her younger cousin came around and got attention she used to choke him and physically hurt him until he would back down. She was like.... 6 years old..? He was FOUR. Like..

She didn’t stop doing that to him until high school and even then, until she was 17 she would tell him to practice tackling as an excuse to beat the shit out of him.

And she always, growing up in school, had a heightened sense of self. She feels she is smarter than everyone she knows, which has a lot to do with her mother and she tells her “you’re a genius! You’re better than everyone! You’re smarter than me!”

I feel she is probably very insecure but she hides it well.

My gf has a lied a lot, usually negative attention because any amount of attention is good to her.

She lied about getting raped, she lied about having delusions. She did this because she wanted to see a psychologist to have some sort of story to tell, and lied to the psychologist.

She has been depressed but never suicidal. She gets very manipulative instead. I was there when she went insane from not getting what she wanted from her family so she held a knife to herself screaming and taunting them to tell her to do it and if not she needed her way.

She used to cut herself but it was very superficial. My brother has depression and has really cut himself to cope.

She would cut only a few thin layers of the skin and parade around waiting for someone to notice.

Ofc this was during our teens but I feel like this is important.

She didnt even like or cared about her friend’s boyfriend but because she wasnt getting attention she showed her cleavage to get the attention

I cannot stress enough how much this woman is convinced she is above everyone.

She has backstabbed a lot and caused many fights between her family members

Now she is 21, and I am 20

I have my reasons for loving her, but I am not here to talk about why or the good things about her. I’m here to talk about the problematic shit that she needs help for.

She’s really reclined to herself since college. Doesn’t even try to make friends as she is swallowed up in her studies.

I understand that but when I offer her to converse with others, her face contorts and she says everyone is stupid or weird and not worth her breath.

She wants to see a psychologist again and told me this is for genuine reasons this time. That her behavior is hurting her studies and home environment, and it took a lot for her to admit to me that she feels defeated that people don’t look at her and think they want to be friends with her

She expects people to look at her and desire to know her which is again problematic to me, but regardless her admitting her inner feelings was a big deal to me

I’m worried she won’t be honest to her psychologist about everything. She herself is a psychology major and wants to be a psychiatrist one day. She told me her issues she wants to empower her to do something helpful and productive “for once in her life”

Idk if this is an actual reawakening for her to take charge for her life or if she is being manipulative again

She is VERY manipulative

I remember I saw her watching a neurology Ted Talk and was bawling and when I asked what was wrong she smiled and said “nothing! Just wanted to see if I can make myself cry realistically on demand. Looks like I can.”

Or maybe she is a sociopath but I doubt they get depression

I’m no professional so she could be something else entirely different from NPD but its evident my gf is messed up and needs help

What can I as her bf even do? I always don’t know what to do when it comes to her issues",3.21058059077658,5.289895817955113,4.1612373994591,85.34759421867868,75.23441396508728,7.411077938955429,25.51023848828633,8.292428520291027,1.6430924238699032,3234,114,641,58,71,1043,316,802,0.14400000000000002,0.718,0.13699999999999998,-0.6881,4,0,2,0,1,0,76.0,1,0,3,7,38,43,9,3,26,0,80,12,6,11,4,126,144,66,1,24,26,4,7,5,10,5,3,4,1,5,28,35,1,3,22,1,1,6,15,22,1,2,32,19,137,21,95,100,11,54,1,6,8,2,151,19,3,16,33,462,165,4,0.0,0.06810934383720088,0.056096259596957285,0.0,0.0,0.056172867497939184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566287198754783,0.0,0.0,0.03909120811803474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234620071196718,0.05373994094714939,0.0,0.0,0.044201779915994235,0.0,0.1051254529506582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603260919325803,0.10168015731319677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574657871193157,0.058608944385949935,0.05905207929999801,0.0,0.049517524107813016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0458964337440014,0.0,0.0631436635991955,0.03707253533789246,0.05926365712221926,0.14853309911244966,0.0,0.0,0.06005872476822404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802064942664271,0.0,0.0,0.059396516075316076,0.0,0.15187101361327346,0.05199772452751809,0.0,0.21971435877707707,0.1033261342317056,0.0,0.1625728839618042,0.0,0.14532862263012722,0.04106670390152198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776485145016204,0.0,0.18019864352141512,0.0,0.0,0.09642999216745583,0.09195068711796152,0.0,0.0,0.05691836784388165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559128615963248,0.06073518372759772,0.0576613114030248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307598990055707,0.0,0.0,0.1199970812437852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477539262953767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120554126413065,0.14041931379846184,0.0,0.0,0.050871683222839234,0.1448166799483246,0.0,0.0,0.1954839492326996,0.05188170948465321,0.0,0.07674226224953336,0.05827992782364395,0.057750577085856784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04225748057067035,0.1704951403808952,0.04433533716716784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05515761330854862,0.0654461107270609,0.060319968545616685,0.061218767008409274,0.03895276259125404,0.043719303076888184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970457374638361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197765987328058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736516649894117,0.11820660540661447,0.0,0.0,0.06511836090940124,0.0,0.05468061123349993,0.0457137207520411,0.0,0.1163541018216685,0.1374223275448294,0.0,0.059968528138766415,0.0,0.11801335280075148,0.0951030020652532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048706152319875316,0.08850824792448166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04805934169126142,0.0658479247091921,0.0,0.0,0.06287835401570208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0432209432861587,0.1386107997691693,0.20097479988247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0381899295381398,0.07366707250722472,0.0,0.0,0.033519482918746735,0.0,0.0,0.1647857690828078,0.06386703011387633,0.0390279793697261,0.0,0.0,0.05984305025108814,0.0,0.09929573583932877,0.06331069406106596,0.28458277235324064,0.27124523166917075,0.04562825999768473,0.0,0.0,0.05168517412255373,0.053288403273915264,0.05187052406175963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058377966927171586,0.0,0.16334042570607407,0.06284991797189997,0.0,0.11105376606077967
mentalhealth,leloar,2019/03/07,"Support Groups in LA for Child Abuse/Mental Health I live in the San Fernando Valley and I tried going to DBSA’s meetings, but the one closest to me meets only during the weekdays. I’m looking for other support groups that meet on the weekends, hopefully focusing on either trauma from child/domestic abuse and mental illness like Bipolarism/psychiatric disorders (since I developed it from my past experience). I haven’t quite gotten to the step of getting a therapist yet, but any advice for great ones that take Anthem Blue Cross HMO would be greatly appreciated. Also, I hope that the support group is more like a place to joke about the trauma/disorder and isn’t always entirely depressing with everybody just venting (one thing I didn’t like about my local DBSA chapter).",8.672751798561151,9.23061752517986,8.419343525179857,65.6468570143885,60.79856115107914,11.266546762589927,37.518884892086334,10.9516,4.5430496402877685,632,28,93,15,8,203,97,139,0.103,0.654,0.243,0.9717,0,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,13,0,0,9,0,6,2,0,0,0,11,17,6,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,2,0,3,2,2,9,11,17,13,2,13,0,1,2,0,7,7,0,2,6,60,15,0,0.0,0.16801913262940038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857300544356355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134036992153726,0.11799550451259876,0.0,0.0,0.09643421168653417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213890720233075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250482002123332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387153037550198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408875708701634,0.0,0.08059267821771024,0.0,0.0,0.3126873458061498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073513033511862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816944159284164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20784048102322264,0.0,0.12521894372841735,0.0,0.1190828922257067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290897537322975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882780400767888,0.1078512722086814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537165400217474,0.0,0.0,0.14815903771595645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508301209781478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173049321665042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48276565755074896,0.0,0.0,0.10662186703373384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164649862279302,0.09421084501289002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627823250879533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007362393479031,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yadadameannn,2019/03/07,"Dealing w/ Anxiety or Depression? You aren't alone.  

First thing’s first, shoutout to all the people struggling with depression and anxiety due to uncertainty. You don’t know what you’re in college for. You don’t know what your passion or purpose is in life. You don’t know where your next dollar or meal will come from. You don’t know if your artwork will sell. This is for you.

[https://4ormypeople.com/jah/2019/3/6/the-beauty-in-uncertainty](https://4ormypeople.com/jah/2019/3/6/the-beauty-in-uncertainty)",9.677866666666667,14.281470119999998,4.652000000000001,76.5526666666667,67.8,6.533333333333335,25.666666666666664,7.793537801064563,1.6548666666666674,429,13,61,6,9,108,47,75,0.198,0.743,0.059,-0.8823,0,1,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,9,0,2,1,4,0,1,1,0,9,3,0,0,1,12,14,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,4,0,2,1,5,3,0,2,0,0,9,1,8,12,1,8,0,2,0,1,10,3,0,4,4,40,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341961024047429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459682366741256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19478566540990147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23312374952434925,0.38952026334515866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3846816448327053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4970869942968025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15971795515932455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404852686936315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15676579870591986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363937338598629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022663130021258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Healthcare_Junkie,2019/03/07,"The future of medication treating depression. JNJ gets approval for esketamine As a current mental health patient, taking 20mg of Lexapro and Lorazepam on an on-needed basis, I do wonder what medications are coming down the pike that could better treat my anxiety disorder. While esketamine is not meant for those with my condition, it does give me hope that there are other medications in the lab that could better treat me one day. Has anyone else read about this approval and what do you think it means for the future of treating depression and anxiety disorders?

Source: [JNJ's Janssen gets new depression treatment approved by FDA](https://www.medtechy.com/articles/2019/fda-approves-j-js-esketamine-nasal-spray-for-hard-to-treat-depression) ",12.408292682926836,12.202972715447155,9.865162601626016,60.84701219512196,53.552845528455286,13.728455284552846,44.07723577235773,12.745084868956482,6.051786991869919,616,29,84,17,6,182,88,123,0.131,0.693,0.17600000000000002,0.7096,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,5,2,10,0,0,6,0,8,4,0,0,0,13,18,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,6,7,13,15,0,10,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,2,6,50,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21495079672789014,0.0,0.0,0.09823472724682847,0.14394985684564807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24850613347163755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102074564280915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22434161376693085,0.0,0.0,0.0906052140186314,0.0,0.4840195259113583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32203021823440603,0.0,0.1229448129241415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736238643941578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468017272383747,0.1347719794277616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585253736995178,0.0,0.0,0.1493355966459774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395394808794261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303612443046394,0.0,0.4245903696128828,0.14158210535247992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417245908966882,0.0,0.13568729523392742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520048626375252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052923840332024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056319127040358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900211006585904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235673457630006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,newaccount_15898,2019/03/07,"Mother with schizophrenia, severe hallucinations; low income family; California residents; what do I do? I will try to keep this brief. 

I come from a very dysfunctional home. My mother was always a difficult women; she has been prone to mood swings, conspiracy theories, suspicions, delusions of grandeur, hypochondria, a distrust of doctors and a general unfriendliness and hostility toward most people. She also has multiple sclerosis and I'm sure her neural degeneration has something to do with her declining mental health. 

Her mental health worsened when I moved out for college. She believes that someone is siphoning poisonous gas to her where ever she goes and she's able to smell it. She screams at all hours of the night. The house is in constant disorder because she's constantly arranging plastic tarps and moving around furniture. She no longer takes care of herself; she can go on for months without taking a shower. She sometimes sleeps in the car because she feels safer there, but recently she's taken preference to sleeping on the beach. She screams profanities, bangs pots and pans, builds special noise making devices to ward off whoever is harming her. She's not sure who this person is; sometimes its the neighbors, sometimes it's someone omniscient. My parents were evicted once because my mother proved to be an incredibly problematic tenant and they're now facing the threat of a second eviction. This has all developed over the course of four/five years. 

​

I live on the opposite side of the country. My parents live in California. My childhood was once of unhappiness and abuse. I have very little affection for my parents but I feel a limited sense of responsibility toward them. I just recently graduated college and I'm struggling on my own as it is. My father works at a warehouse; he's emotionally catatonic; he's too tired to deal with the situation and so it's up to me to figure things out. 

​

I need practical guidance. My mom already receives SSI and medicaid. What kind of mental care can I get for her? Money is unfortunately a consideration and I have been timid in soliciting medical help for her because I'm afraid of it being prohibitively expensive. My mother is another obstacle. She will not go to a hospital or see a doctor willingly. I don't believe she's a threat to other people, but she is certainly a threat to herself.  Again, I need practical direction. What do I do?",6.360179820179822,8.82714756876457,6.931544455544458,67.19819580419582,67.48484848484848,10.031062271062273,36.03336663336663,10.290406445055957,4.490338341658342,1973,102,295,55,35,645,238,429,0.17800000000000002,0.758,0.065,-0.994,8,0,1,0,1,0,59.0,0,0,1,2,11,22,6,3,24,0,32,11,4,2,7,47,51,20,0,3,8,9,2,0,1,3,7,2,4,2,16,19,0,2,6,1,2,8,5,14,0,1,6,6,52,7,54,40,4,43,0,1,1,0,45,22,0,2,13,212,68,7,0.08277471416806659,0.09807450086773233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134395540812072,0.06619490901452232,0.06887519313193041,0.17937273643637971,0.20116067571631094,0.0,0.08679650506550025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368704486808232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20183478987893308,0.0,0.0,0.18651751481888187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687886754797124,0.0,0.0,0.07130308688170223,0.0,0.17890011951947568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533709568177443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486699370152876,0.16944685483195154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311041226713562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487446790683636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803263375674586,0.0,0.08370676517050718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04324637175247704,0.0,0.0940855552114976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759713008810346,0.0,0.0,0.05548214609076501,0.0,0.083029787348234,0.0,0.08151641975911357,0.09551090660408906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357396922095742,0.0,0.08619712708984252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296200929406503,0.14618317822693333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525276446337381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338681618272971,0.2502523291825884,0.0,0.0,0.09694474481513636,0.06606998713211333,0.17595284290019758,0.0,0.12275280344205307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767846193381378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17630473822912954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757345730699514,0.0,0.0,0.11477112899129635,0.07227568764199296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346008845008447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659607303135784,0.0,0.0,0.09351186612425533,0.0,0.0,0.09304224684947793,0.16566898615340214,0.0,0.14026949340100506,0.0637240189732225,0.245598926568536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653410356572876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560283770097972,0.0,0.12447256722820862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05499184203828997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513735728383482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619859744517764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659561611601348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979187063545279,0.0,0.060260977756440175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116067571631094,0.05330420204862793
mentalhealth,neile611,2019/03/07,"i think i’m ill after i lost my best friend ever since my best friend who was my biggest source of emotional support for years left me hanging i was devastated. i couldnt sleep well, i cant open up to people, i have difficulty with things that remind me of her, i get painful flashbacks of our past, and i occasionally feel suicidal. is this normal",6.103260869565219,6.088610594202905,6.870833333333337,76.52625000000002,66.2463768115942,9.798550724637682,31.74275362318841,9.516144504307137,2.6845623188405794,277,10,55,5,4,92,52,69,0.242,0.532,0.226,-0.0863,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,3,2,8,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,1,8,12,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,1,15,6,8,8,2,9,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,38,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4525885998961372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425589268776311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950530573735431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903089481498596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33319617546986524,0.0,0.11265972589119788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23428668257400256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23538969279580074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112752756250773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294494959391609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20584679825862184,0.14949328011132124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837445279372727,0.0,0.21578946177890526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358683058695779,0.2446986055993757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325747107168468,0.13816938963058228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388062314443807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886105465722653
mentalhealth,oystercakeisthebest,2019/03/07,"Is it my fault if someone gets triggered from my own depression? I have this app on my phone called Talk Life where people with mental health problems can come to talk about anything and support each other when things get worse. Recently, I posted something about me getting back into my depression hole again then closing the app right after I posted that because I had something else to do. I had too much going on for the past few days that I only opened it again a few minutes ago only to see that there were a few who interacted with my post. One of them apparently sent me a message as well telling me his last goodbyes and even posting it on his wall as well. I partly feel like its my fault if he really did do it. Maybe I could've triggered him. His message to me seemed like it could've been sent to a couple of people but it still bugs me. I'm kind of blaming myself about it. 

It also made me realize that maybe the app isn't doing any good as some people might get triggered and its basically just social media for a bunch of depressed people with a few listeners who'll try to cheer you up. It's still better to talk with therapists but right now the app is like bandaid for people like me who can't open things up like this to anyone. ",7.713626666666663,6.157294136000003,7.403000000000002,79.09316666666666,63.64,9.933333333333334,32.83333333333333,8.344100000000001,2.3488933333333333,994,30,198,10,12,315,141,250,0.095,0.809,0.096,-0.1604,1,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,1,18,18,0,0,10,0,16,3,0,4,0,28,31,13,0,3,5,0,1,5,0,2,3,1,0,0,23,13,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,6,2,1,8,3,28,12,33,21,10,35,0,3,1,0,23,13,0,5,19,143,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763133120365807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905641725268245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722658369411202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912355892207972,0.0,0.08135141271365863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601542136991128,0.0,0.060262698454936335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743154707583073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094470116624234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851571015331019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785955936874202,0.1093840959514699,0.0,0.0637549981090492,0.0,0.25543781580447444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825828712680908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652945374350817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049985392024182056,0.07062391621514763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20659614226093315,0.0,0.056183073751326015,0.0829170963390776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508104621683488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294501717197146,0.0,0.08058216918084918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982607316375261,0.24148424174659802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354148718806736,0.0,0.0,0.19863156913047594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996252473634288,0.10487233138977337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267173850725446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669884938462594,0.15037137652395646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705318815841618,0.09437080127921403,0.3426771936534717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37871316104655095,0.0,0.0,0.0945934083832834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333073418543286,0.0,0.09760999107828074,0.0,0.0,0.1688477651078512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877673820531865,0.08999628064301718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077291232709464,0.08376175572429151,0.1522108786903749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789567453394396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112182475888241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23837407386984416,0.08640593278615667,0.0,0.0,0.11478133696704587,0.1313532437583343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711784689766384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776977746009318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074437858834852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway8383747229,2019/03/07,"Mom is living an extremely unhealthy lifestyle; don’t know what to do. Disclaimer: I know this probably isn’t the right sub to submit this in, but honestly I don’t know where to put it. Throw-away for obvious reasons. 

First, my brother died a few years ago in a horrible car accident. He was extremely successful working in one of the best hospitals in America. This took a huge toll on my parents because they were always proud of him and was, no doubt, their “favorite” child. My mom’s health took a steep decline following this tragedy and has resorted to binge eating. She’s not insanely obese, per se, but she is definitely overweight. Her doctor put her on medication because her blood pressure is dangerously high. She works 3rd shift and comes home and eats the whole house before she finally goes to bed. The other night I woke up from hearing her rustling through bags of food and opening and closing cabinets and it honestly burned a hole right in my heart. I confronted her about it and she admitted to throwing up after because she ate so much. I hate seeing her like this, I love her so much. I want to help but I don’t really know what to do. Does anyone have any advice?

TL;DR: Brother died, mom resorts to binge eating to cope. She relies on medicine to keep her blood pressure at a somewhat acceptable level. Hate seeing her like this; don’t know what to do. ",4.26109090909091,6.391031123076925,4.7675524475524504,81.93108391608394,72.38461538461539,8.265734265734267,30.279720279720287,8.97023862654752,2.704384615384616,1092,48,199,23,22,347,151,260,0.184,0.64,0.17600000000000002,-0.5463,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,6,4,16,4,3,11,0,16,14,3,1,1,28,36,13,2,1,4,6,0,2,0,0,5,1,2,1,13,11,7,1,8,0,0,8,7,7,0,2,7,3,31,9,31,29,6,33,0,0,2,1,31,19,0,2,8,126,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249526430852453,0.0929768150556228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727515423025163,0.0,0.0,0.07132738431671662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334007444150717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854565624253593,0.0,0.0,0.1918161127545495,0.0,0.0892518970080529,0.0,0.11007340398915914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035165814741836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177142085585432,0.0,0.0,0.10735723354678847,0.09178812813718908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219795912064779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489959263094653,0.0,0.08921761361743517,0.12683089268421924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071102176552338,0.0,0.11149095723820486,0.11821631210478853,0.12429269362529267,0.07030416376214889,0.11081984926646846,0.10521113868445447,0.0,0.0,0.12102658047834355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322920516231553,0.0,0.0,0.28821829678610794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248588204846763,0.0,0.09261795753650896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466544549470796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056635475297636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685304027828985,0.0,0.0,0.15420938374784215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843021031761597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107477106245752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164656257064694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308692101518188,0.0,0.0,0.21088266546081075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719388920397913,0.1078422537767802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791474260787287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716418929615393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330686832877956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061865614465423574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171036201288663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527193141276546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754438344736599
mentalhealth,Unicornhearts,2019/03/07,"Fear of being by myself. Any ideas on how to get over the fear of having to be alone in my apartment? I have to be here 8 hours a day or more by myself. I mostly sleep it away but that is not good. 

Any ideas of what I could do?",-0.7413461538461554,0.6899290961538505,1.6275384615384638,101.91746153846157,84.96153846153845,4.16,12.323076923076925,3.1291,-1.779389230769231,171,1,46,0,5,58,40,52,0.17600000000000002,0.8240000000000001,0.0,-0.8003,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,8,1,1,1,0,8,9,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,12,5,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,2,38,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24432843887919584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208496108241629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22164233103960296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883524916973089,0.0,0.0,0.15214045699882314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5309217758753865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325163685210327,0.0,0.0,0.19786754457219835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323208111685905,0.0,0.0,0.5326204299100582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360773041944924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Willyjohn44,2019/03/07,A new me I have been given this site as i suffer with depression since the passing of my mum. Had some dark days where i dont speak to anyone for days but its not what i choose. The scared feeling and hiding away 😞😞,3.3392907801418454,3.4530891702127704,4.328510638297871,91.93333333333334,72.19148936170212,7.117730496453903,22.04964539007092,6.42735559955562,0.20106241134751768,169,3,40,1,3,55,41,47,0.234,0.7290000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.8591,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,2,6,0,6,3,1,7,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468153781448417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316411061108441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552923550897284,0.0,0.30402553573831964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4136958897199541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17847986455781087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34091519385466396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35339964797302537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29199290925036303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway9247436,2019/03/07,"Is schizophrenia coming My mother suffers from severe paranoid schizophrenia and is on 6 different medications for it (some are for her side effects from the anti phsycotics) hers started after smoking weed for the first time and went pale and describes to me it felt like her brain was suddenly taken over it's caused  her problems until this day and describes she hasn't felt the same since.

My dad also suffered from scitzphrenia but also apparently bipolar I never really spoke to my dad about it because he passed away when I was in my early teens.

Anyway I've been smoking weed and drinking alcohol since about 14 pretty heavy usage but recently the weed has been causing me huge paranoia and anxiety and somewhat delusional thoughts example my grandparents keeping life threatening doctors news from me and the past year when I sometimes speak my words come out in the wrong order and I sometimes stop speaking in the middle of a setence and don't speak until I I think of something else 

My Gran has always said I've showed simliar odd behavior as my mum did when I was younger  

I don't know if all of these symptoms are from the stress from my terminally ill grandad or something else I just thought I would ask reddit ",6.964882005899702,8.27849534070797,6.315203539823012,76.62109439528027,64.61946902654867,8.681533923303835,35.863126843657824,8.841846274778883,3.2672882595870214,1001,47,163,15,15,307,143,226,0.158,0.805,0.038,-0.9761,4,0,4,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,9,6,0,1,9,0,16,9,1,3,2,38,31,22,0,3,5,4,2,1,0,1,7,5,0,0,6,13,2,2,7,2,0,4,4,5,0,1,14,7,27,1,27,16,4,32,0,2,0,0,16,10,0,4,18,112,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412244047024764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156921640073473,0.11221285499305447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316618084033707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607424543186901,0.0,0.12670375127571054,0.0,0.0,0.08220832849737067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054639083124474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770731120174427,0.0,0.2323368570012564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697240519053852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089815272035186,0.0,0.1380331182074902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13210972947518476,0.0,0.0,0.22531350183530235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589701088640364,0.0,0.0,0.11471034600829665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986819584869242,0.0,0.0,0.07411455924392796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525435978642288,0.06588492178885047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358554842049106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401098476857698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287374450701556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719930765640073,0.0,0.1290411181283886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639363874136738,0.0,0.13315623788717715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828106394453642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235141995799853,0.0,0.22311225156488154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764091614000396,0.26675648594983514,0.0,0.09545335301898784,0.0,0.0,0.11274752321810183,0.1544796528364305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401693427171338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641171180907102,0.0,0.214124749949304,0.07863692147342376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501493516033296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579942104730714,0.14744630984159018,0.0,0.08684428199781251
mentalhealth,neverwillbeloved,2019/03/07,"Ex left me because of my mental health problems I admitted to that happened to me in my past Basically I've had problems with depression, anxiety and bipolar and paranoia. I can function well depending on the situation. 

But my Ex who happened to be on the autistic spectrum, basically broke up with me a month after I told him. 

I knew he was going to as soon as I revealed what happened to me which sucks but I'm worried that I will never find love because of it. Which is making my depression start up again. 

Anyone who has been or still in a relationship with someone who could or couldn't handle their mental health problem, how did you cope or not cope in relationships. 

Was your partner excepting or ran like the wind.",5.998188405797106,6.939400413043479,6.636376811594204,74.79340579710147,66.6086956521739,9.321739130434784,35.6231884057971,9.444778638647367,3.4457623188405813,579,28,102,11,9,190,89,138,0.193,0.7659999999999999,0.041,-0.9661,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,1,0,5,10,1,0,5,0,12,4,0,3,1,26,25,11,0,5,8,2,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,7,1,0,8,0,18,3,21,13,0,18,0,3,0,1,16,8,1,5,9,80,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219685691878636,0.0,0.0,0.10255023759061366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17880890801272678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709853754392748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526413966416774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340474006669246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335200981570211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38908103931248894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117919975143099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934986860863348,0.0,0.0,0.07165217402483166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236915834938556,0.0,0.09789874663635956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956037839041257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706507345531908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311561095900664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400065078204282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4210102889152482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149225276330808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16485545002608307,0.0,0.0,0.12426715412925955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380888488703688,0.0,0.11712532738830066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014286073784635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318677249786387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894347979385247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,casedawgz,2019/03/07,"Job stress is turning me into something I don’t like but I can’t afford to not have the job I’ve always been a kind of nervous and anxious person but never too bad. I got a new job about 9 months ago and it has driven me over the edge. My mental health is circling the drain. My wife is worried about me. I cry all the time. Sometimes on the way to work I fantasize about being in a car accident so I can not have to be there.

I am a manager and my boss tells me that I go to her for her opinion too often and she wants me to make decisions for the team on my own. But when I try to take initiative and make decisions on my own she tears them apart for not being the exact way she would do things. She has ground my feelings of self worth into the dirt. I have so much work to do that I will never have time to complete it all and when I express these concerns I am told that I simply need to work more hours. I already work a lot of hours and am teetering on the brink of mental collapse as it is.

However, I have a mortgage and car insurance and student loans. I need this job or a job that pays similarly. My wife makes more than I do but my contributions are definitely still needed to maintain the life we have built. I just don’t know how to take this anymore.",2.968788295365279,3.7561162126865684,4.396873527101338,88.66218774548314,73.44029850746269,7.433150039277297,25.299293008641005,7.669130373188453,1.0929522388059691,987,30,222,12,19,329,137,268,0.107,0.8490000000000001,0.043,-0.951,8,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,1,6,14,5,0,2,17,0,29,2,0,5,5,43,45,20,0,5,9,2,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,11,12,0,0,4,1,3,4,8,3,0,0,4,1,40,2,31,36,8,29,0,0,0,0,16,11,0,4,13,166,51,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626035929760483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983410098848075,0.0,0.09035734014906804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267818224739445,0.1076942001007203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066988147005717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385676820964785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928334099844926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054907436983891694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171540237335475,0.0,0.08685103572825682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542834195560528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21388272128107486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5388045984636535,0.0,0.0,0.11308197883976015,0.05967938735732513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670182340905818,0.05305262297388642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232113424736704,0.0,0.0,0.21745824319782106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188706248003704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667719144548247,0.0,0.07982770047430121,0.2415590354923424,0.16750586963597974,0.10487894289813876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481844762694044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132852606804194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359951669391055,0.10740038001631473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672180459550438,0.0,0.12439190267741836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329551446372484,0.0,0.0949142963047095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214377703391157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664187293495918,0.0,0.0,0.10376442102971206,0.0,0.07372691900155748,0.11811703985578532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405044389879462,0.17239073522934048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162254168593996,0.11028056559991432,0.0,0.07714072397668788,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,businessmermaid,2019/03/07,"Anyone know how to find a telepsychiatrist? I’m having a really hard time getting an appointment with a psychiatrist any sooner than three months away. I’ve read about telepsychiatry and I think it could work for me. However, when I search for it, I can only find telepsychiatry services looking to provide services to healthcare providers — nothing for patients. Anyone else had any luck with this? I tried to go through my insurance, but they are very opaque and do not seem to have any options in this regard. I’m willing to pay out of pocket.",5.643257575757578,7.881583363636366,5.446351010101013,78.05619318181822,68.8989898989899,8.182323232323233,31.566919191919194,8.841846274778883,2.802685858585858,439,19,74,8,8,136,73,99,0.036000000000000004,0.942,0.022,0.1062,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,1,0,16,16,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,5,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,7,1,18,13,0,7,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,3,3,48,11,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43563604795621097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986191114167881,0.2187931882368467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20062439617920289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17049137111298904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838218995728686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903366449006748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156391067342344,0.0,0.1213576081867926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128659452849686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173539737118365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931672325664966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044264857153327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489385237962165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240398910421192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213594099949172,0.0,0.13679683065179887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943954403934002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682544778632444,0.0,0.0,0.12451474190110605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449771403074147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618982237365735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554569797899306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MegaByyte69,2019/03/07,"I have trouble concentrating in school So I'm a high school student and I have a problem. Whenever I'm in school and the teacher is teaching I can't seem to concentrate on what is being taught. I try my best to focus on what the teacher is teaching but I start thinking about something else. It also happens when I'm doing something else like writing, talking to someone, reading. I can't seem to keep my attention on one thing. I will be watching a movie and fir sime reason I get the urge to go for a walk in the middle of it. 

 ",2.799444444444444,4.49079042592593,4.2770370370370365,85.77166666666669,75.2962962962963,6.2814814814814826,30.51851851851852,6.937597516519254,1.7671407407407402,418,20,82,4,9,139,65,108,0.038,0.901,0.061,0.4854,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,8,0,11,0,0,1,0,12,23,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,5,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,1,1,10,2,14,19,1,12,0,0,1,0,2,8,0,2,3,57,15,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706367098340092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19299027049527054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072474223115132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607944600749932,0.0,0.10451383151594576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16262095450634256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942990033113469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345755532468467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898435833801784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461447357514295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17596615646284744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394839934985896,0.0,0.0,0.18907842378755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5583457057576443,0.0,0.3348288188651861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581671561787394,0.2831483054976934,0.0,0.0,0.13016439950195566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478107558661562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217408082721258,0.11783481901705802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485510090501092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CybermanFord,2019/03/07,"Nobody even loves me. Just today my brother made a remark about how scrawny I am. Even my mom laughed. That just reminded me about how nobody even loves me. Yesterday I went to my niece’s birthday party. I felt so different from everyone. I just sat there the whole time, like I always do when I am with other people. I feel so alien from everybody. Why can’t I be normal like everyone else? No one even loves me at all. Fuck this shit.",0.9314420062695916,3.437003586206899,2.414085684430514,91.84175548589342,87.85057471264368,5.922257053291537,19.40334378265413,7.348242739294969,0.6416528735632183,340,10,70,6,11,110,60,87,0.102,0.675,0.223,0.8968,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,15,8,2,0,2,0,5,5,1,3,1,11,14,5,0,1,3,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,2,15,6,7,9,2,6,0,0,0,4,5,1,2,0,6,49,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526271337623764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182396642302031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583734920087252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4612279573528855,0.0,0.0,0.3336331354115403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827178032970415,0.0,0.16762206388589804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613943614800731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705797880326992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4726898369925217,0.1651897339283503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044634074918485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104917602227349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182984342816407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103026399210767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920160127218238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179771814459852,0.0,0.1654793400046656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618353681052711,0.1575293091856874,0.19490987734288048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hopeless_unicorn,2019/03/07,"I’ve done my waiting, 12 years of it!!! Okay so it’s actually been longer than that but couldn’t resist quoting HP...

I turned 24 last week and according to the office I spoke to I should be getting seen by a therapist in the next couple of weeks. I’m 11th on the waiting list but they’re getting new people in so fingers crossed. 

I’ve had a up/down relationship with meds and aside from a one off prescription for something to help me sleep I decided (with my doctor) to stop my meds until I started CBT to see how that goes and then if I feel I still need something else we can try different things out. 

It’s been a stressful year so far for various reasons and I’ve definitely not been on my A game but hoping this is a turn around moment for things.

Thanks for reading my ramble if you got this far, have a positive day! ",3.6991814595660766,4.678343568047339,4.774689349112425,85.91438116370811,71.89940828402365,8.000197238658776,27.692800788954635,8.344100000000001,1.7196741617357003,649,23,138,10,12,213,113,169,0.043,0.8240000000000001,0.132,0.9425,1,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,0,0,6,4,0,1,10,1,11,3,2,2,0,26,27,15,0,6,6,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,9,9,0,3,3,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,8,5,15,3,24,16,1,24,0,0,2,0,6,9,0,3,14,87,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.14778930619236735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481891754746184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16757195578847775,0.0,0.09767004637643127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822868276899554,0.0,0.15501124784664025,0.0,0.15498168848695906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651357706664942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765755737110282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582484149815471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112508347893555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151096291835522,0.0,0.0,0.15041990371585195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344858339647352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33644440329891434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229518102945628,0.0,0.14626734853763546,0.16106438277176452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102623629436243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104993485652788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148683638972965,0.0,0.0,0.15571156014603565,0.0,0.16259616908413682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068273707321114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155522537491328,0.0,0.0,0.2331808332149597,0.0,0.0,0.10719415423461952,0.0,0.12094485382926627,0.12661551439694732,0.1734807129191657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943099404214435,0.0,0.17584030801075254,0.20122779060596105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028217930140694,0.329459198565712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24296145639284156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19505232795785588
mentalhealth,hellostrangerhi,2019/03/07,"My friend is suicidal and I need help She has been battling with depression and suicidal thoughts for 5-6 years and I've known her for 2 years. 
Within these 2 years, she has relapsed a few times. After awhile, I realised these episodes have been getting to me and are wearing me down. I don't know what to say to her anymore and am honestly feeling jaded myself, not seeing her life improving and I'm lowkey starting to view suicide as euthanasia (I don't tell her this of course). 
Also I feel guilty because honestly, my compassion is running low and I don't find joy hanging out with her anymore because she is so negative and cynical. I'm trying to reduce contact with her (for the sake of my own mental health) but not cutting her out completely. But I feel guilty doing that. 

What do I do? ",3.249585253456221,5.425545741935487,4.182050691244239,84.79879032258064,75.45161290322581,7.267281105990782,29.78110599078341,8.192908349453996,2.286594470046084,630,29,118,11,14,203,93,155,0.174,0.735,0.091,-0.9229,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,0,2,9,3,0,2,0,16,3,1,0,0,25,27,13,3,1,4,0,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,6,13,0,0,7,0,0,2,6,5,0,0,3,6,24,4,19,24,2,13,0,2,2,0,15,5,0,0,6,84,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651244272151186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33858627574354416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20811993401570708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898057221394778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470276603751744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589401924376457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602095271333882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188598507187502,0.0,0.08918613130018868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18145105484533552,0.0,0.0,0.1144197250670814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381480843478553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057373891316132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203013173298168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126575331081065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357511850768347,0.0,0.0,0.1360295006497554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120825626156145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5601695245686942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920338361107285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552042002655554,0.0995392511159665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589724842859167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32978458331513694
mentalhealth,mackandcheesequeen,2019/03/07,"i'm starting a club with my english teacher to provide a calm, quiet space for anyone that's stressed or suffering from mental illness or maybe just needs someone to talk to. i could use some help coming up with a name. the only one i have is ""grey matters"", like the brain but like saying it matters? it's kinda confusing and i dont think everyone will get it.",3.279166666666665,5.089664138888892,4.331666666666667,85.38000000000002,74.27777777777777,6.466666666666668,28.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.6468166666666666,286,12,54,3,6,93,57,72,0.107,0.74,0.153,0.3048,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,5,0,5,2,1,1,0,18,12,4,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,3,4,3,8,10,1,4,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,5,3,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671298697295765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821275402794852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177024159134702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017823929590432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961948194652077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414920150919941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203971976173082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939795697853924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24693984124310026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538988040802388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25468993949453306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18739428430232585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125473608406516,0.19221069860377013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009791003775739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214135242440631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888186857208466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28949856743377755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20313284051214772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619376165009547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21827546885282226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sgtlemon,2019/03/07,"My GF got put in a mental/psychiatric facility Hey guys, so my GF has been suffering for Bipolar and suicidal thoughts for a long time, she checked herself into one of these places last night. So I;m completely out the dark on whats happening.  
How long until I get some contact from her again? I'll be here waiting for her no matter how long.",6.066194029850745,6.303231104477618,6.441007462686567,78.71733208955227,66.31343283582089,10.282089552238807,34.660447761194035,10.125756701596842,3.39470447761194,272,12,53,6,4,88,56,67,0.14400000000000002,0.8390000000000001,0.016,-0.8658,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,2,0,9,8,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,3,0,7,0,10,4,1,14,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,1,8,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463665288573701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276459572595352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793075314274496,0.0,0.0,0.23266192068437505,0.20778737353441398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19153576274842216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6238357129039754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23679925642023386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22050786203520792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15922495503211856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454985760792735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236214499344248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570242114969201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18654368492757248,0.13701565191773202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MadeThisAccount4Anon,2019/03/07,"Recurring nightmares about my brother with BPD Anon account for reasons. 

When we were little, my brother and I suffered the same traumatic experience. I won’t go into details, but he ended up taking up drugs and alcohol, and a horrible personality issue, I ended up with some pretty bad depression and anxiety. We’re only 16 months apart in age, and I think because of that, We’ve always been really close. It wasn’t until he met his current girlfriend where his personality problems started showing through, he started abusing her, and then had no memories of it afterwards, and if he did, he would go into a state of complete fear, but the slightest thing could tip him back over into that aggressive state. 

When things started getting really tough for him, I offered him and his girlfriend to stay at my place for a few months until he got things sorted. This was a relatively good idea at the time, but throughout the three months, I experienced a lot of his “episodes”, multiple of them screaming at each other and him threatening her, telling me if I called the cops he would kill himself, insulting my boyfriend for no reason whatsoever. Sometimes I’d come home and she would be crying because he hurt her and threatened her while we were gone. He even had an episode where he started screaming at his girlfriend because she had to leave the house and he “didn’t want to be left alone with these people”, as in myself and my boyfriend. During his episodes, he looks like a completely different person, like someone I genuinely don’t know. The look in his eyes is piercing and terrifying. When these “episodes” would cool down, he’d always be extremely apologetic and promise he would work on his mental health. 

(Also, yes. I’m doing everything I can for his girlfriend, but she only lets me do so much. I believe he belong in a mental health hospital, she won’t let that happen and won’t leave him. That’s another story. Just want to clarify that I don’t blatantly ignore their situation, I’m doing everything I can to help her)

After they moved out, things got weird. We didn’t really speak again as much, it was like a “hey thanks for the cheap stay. Bye.”, and although I would like to confidently say I was never afraid of him, I started having these nightmares where I was always trying to hide from him as he chased me and tried to kill me. I’m still having them, at least once a week. I have dreams where he has killed our whole family, but manipulates me into believing it wasn’t him, I even had a dream where he stole my car while I was in it and tried to kill us by driving off the road. He’s just a horrible monster in my dream, and it’s making me terrified of him irl. I don’t know what to do about this. Is there an effective way I can stop this from happening?

I’m thinking psychologist, but I just want to know if there’s an easier way. ",6.381463536463535,6.8026433901098935,6.617672327672326,77.08641858141861,65.64835164835165,9.841625041625043,32.84582084582085,9.725611199111238,3.0495135531135524,2265,89,420,44,33,729,256,546,0.203,0.696,0.101,-0.997,2,1,2,0,0,1,62.0,5,0,4,2,22,26,6,2,23,2,49,5,1,5,2,76,81,43,4,14,12,2,0,4,4,9,4,4,1,3,23,34,1,2,9,4,2,7,13,18,0,1,21,9,74,8,62,44,9,77,0,3,3,0,75,34,0,6,35,296,97,1,0.0,0.08252677910895305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443730037867914,0.0,0.07213894567950993,0.0,0.05570104956992008,0.1738692871050467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303668066208215,0.05328394361819476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355844472777601,0.058156897296482025,0.1273784850302583,0.0,0.0,0.15694894808761775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772483896429555,0.0,0.07112295242915086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999942950317649,0.14605856471676434,0.0,0.0,0.055611824106446515,0.0,0.07650996007884912,0.0,0.0,0.0599915643983743,0.0,0.0,0.07277199916005432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077474399321229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338281670631294,0.0,0.0,0.0920095899284655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519828522066184,0.06813347416375543,0.06566214329265645,0.0783783855159004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036390537166165464,0.0,0.07917019983363595,0.05842118140283025,0.11141487521651523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231868861629042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480746223415375,0.0,0.0,0.046686577799650006,0.0,0.06986709959597155,0.0,0.0,0.08036959068944742,0.07456440232647851,0.07862915270390683,0.0,0.07269907519000364,0.0,0.0,0.3082405221612877,0.0,0.11483751643823792,0.0,0.0,0.14750380278536562,0.07567760494980019,0.14244872522062274,0.0,0.1361147007397472,0.06981006637678258,0.0,0.0,0.11698105315235408,0.0,0.0,0.05921603332515605,0.0,0.0,0.046493559974141056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038660072513234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667877945502929,0.07402954524948517,0.1024051493754608,0.0,0.05372027347468551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417759998248556,0.0,0.1059476736833001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04828824784499194,0.18245353245353785,0.07277199916005432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086159547703895,0.0,0.06664800040841952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13386345422992973,0.14322866531981795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05539043429591062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829228683919671,0.0,0.0,0.059016305947054426,0.0,0.06888806700684459,0.0,0.24650185937884184,0.14848051620190386,0.0556245469990152,0.05823257797574211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05236998388918845,0.0,0.060879322798979875,0.06412662991155657,0.0,0.0,0.18509600601726026,0.08926097181230483,0.0,0.0,0.04061491135920806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186835099510772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378333701807858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324848209423607,0.11057376629425364,0.05587100452058474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776448760934483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507078226877981,0.0,0.0,0.29687466812251545,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MuzzyFinlay,2019/03/07,"Just feeling so low and isolated I have been feeling so low on life at this stage, friends come over to mine and stuff but they can’t be here all the time and apart from that I have a broken leg which prevents me from going out a lot and staying in 24/7 looking at the same 4 walls gets so tough I wish I could have somebody to talk to about it ",5.068783783783786,4.132851418918925,5.019594594594596,92.02506756756758,68.5945945945946,7.9405405405405425,29.31081081081081,5.985473137389443,1.0095513513513512,271,8,65,1,4,84,56,74,0.156,0.7170000000000001,0.128,-0.4926,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,7,2,1,0,1,16,14,8,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,3,7,1,12,11,3,15,0,2,1,0,3,10,0,1,1,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687079926240136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24905806181060175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154516560458864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24100344567124946,0.0,0.16297535282251624,0.0,0.1772822312569827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22033187620125924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26195035709421155,0.0,0.0,0.2651995456909631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324856734702672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35709574364311936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507249062028246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18189425120045952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587146757305709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,athrowawayaccnowah,2019/03/07,"[Serious] Is my brain is riddled with mental illness? I’m a teenager and I know I have OCD. Ever since I was a child I’ve had these compulsions, that if I don’t fulfil something terrible will happen. I’m a big hypochondriac— going into episodes when I’m sure that something is wrong with my body. Intrusive thoughts (including r*pe and murder fantasies) never leave me alone. I constantly have tactile hallucinations, and I’ve recently started developing paranoia. I feel like everyone’s watching me on cameras, plotting against me but there’s still a voice in my head that tells me that’s not real, it’s not rational, but still these thoughts are still there; no matter how hard I try. I haven’t gone through serious stress beside my parents divorce and moving a few times. I’ve never been abused, and have a relatively good relationship with my parents. Why the fuck am I so fucked up, and what can I do about this? How do I talk to my parents but so they don’t put me in a mental ward? It’s so frustrating. I also have Anxiety and perhaps depressive episodes. I’ve struggled with body dysmoprhia and ADD.",3.968030075187972,6.329622980952383,4.7910025062656665,80.39943609022558,73.95238095238095,8.040100250626566,31.528822055137844,8.841846274778883,2.9191904761904754,886,43,158,19,19,286,123,210,0.212,0.721,0.067,-0.9861,3,1,2,0,2,0,27.0,0,0,1,0,14,14,4,2,8,0,19,7,4,2,4,32,32,19,1,1,6,3,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,10,14,0,0,4,1,0,4,8,11,0,0,6,4,24,3,13,25,1,21,0,1,1,2,9,6,2,1,12,105,34,0,0.0,0.14643597604609104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280037466089471,0.0,0.098836252288417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945473260384246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745650740355382,0.0,0.13796923160176264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355874047183666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644936567329114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179578475404396,0.0,0.11809718302295932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062491686172002125,0.08829394808426526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22851710365128874,0.0,0.0,0.07024002155165188,0.10366286934807917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929174812171116,0.0,0.1107139035036285,0.0,0.12684075895172614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792277604881528,0.0,0.0,0.13086578420120262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603806705903663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491027654652209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135843700557753,0.0,0.0,0.1906431043272132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117019304702391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242438129223089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067443283461173,0.0,0.0,0.12203191137852562,0.1326912522982812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223634634938446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19029388543120548,0.0,0.0,0.08747885417328974,0.0,0.29610151710278426,0.0,0.14157389547678167,0.12920489836609667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648373163342013,0.0,0.0,0.09933834141388972,0.10802460911898727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19623603763799885,0.07206732470510145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391066379633799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152230209648996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512814195700776,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gettingsrs,2019/03/07,"I'm legitimately at a loss on how to find a therapist I have hit a point where I believe I need to start dealing with my depression and anxiety, but every therapist I look at, they just don't look like someone who could understand me. I know that sounds like I think I'm unique or w/e, but curious how you found a good fit.

Trying out like 10 different therapists would be a lot of emotional effort and money, plus I don't even think that's an option with my health insurance.",13.091099656357393,6.197359278350514,12.71278350515464,61.50738831615122,59.30927835051547,17.46941580756014,46.76632302405498,14.06817628641468,5.967937457044673,378,14,78,11,3,129,69,97,0.142,0.732,0.127,0.1543,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,2,5,6,0,0,6,0,6,1,0,2,0,23,18,8,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,6,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,12,4,10,13,1,8,0,2,2,0,4,7,0,3,4,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723258114922067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738308782970664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279114575640272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17146624016299852,0.14324918666452596,0.0,0.0,0.1737665919562491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870850206926155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985126871392616,0.0,0.14012983093681147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201135977937405,0.0,0.0,0.1823587676091908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949939135381084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678793201012855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140385537713754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24376327367347145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793299505903285,0.0,0.0,0.14139735638495765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332246315345173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15722398004127094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409204429262969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772052028124587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5793229871509641,0.0,0.21313932619073925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291879726364433,0.0,0.0,0.17314258560314813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814731836699095,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dylanthe-klebold,2019/03/07,"Molested by sister I was molested by my sister since as early as I can remember growing up until about ten. She would kiss me and hump me. Pretty much having lesbian sex with a toddler/little kid. It was so fucked, now I can’t let anyone kiss my neck.
My mom pretty much said as soon as I turn 16 I would be move on and I’m 19 and I’m still not over it. I feel so gaslighted I can’t tell who’s in the wrong",-0.5761538461538436,1.3011769340659356,2.222736263736266,95.33476373626374,87.35164835164835,4.958681318681318,16.792307692307688,6.2581,-0.41293054945054974,315,7,75,3,10,110,62,91,0.151,0.7070000000000001,0.142,-0.4246,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,3,0,2,0,10,7,1,0,0,9,16,10,0,2,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,3,2,13,2,13,9,2,11,0,0,0,6,8,4,1,0,5,53,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213633182797368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001450599664099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011483271613432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224893216698308,0.0,0.0,0.2180713697485248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548259555385475,0.0,0.2312520983332671,0.3198912757521181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4427122330708189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464746509361617,0.0,0.20696750315174328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998363986485266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375891164817273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017368126370204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23666352871892435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30912383118550185,0.23788853676834476,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QueenMaja,2019/03/07,"I went off my antidepressants and now I’m relapsing I’ve had major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder as well as many traits (but not enough for being diagnosed) of borderline personality disorder since I was about 10-12 years old.

I was in therapy when I was 12, 16 and 19. I started antidepressants on my 19th birthday. Through my last bit of therapy and dose of antidepressants I had enough strength and motivation to get myself out of the situation that was making me suffer - living at home. 

I applied for jobs in the nearby city, I began looking at apartments and I felt amazing. After I got accepted for a full time job and landed myself a cheapo apartment I felt like I could do anything.

I stopped taking my medicine three months ago and so far it was great. I stopped therapy because I moved away and I’m not longer near to my doctors office. 

Unfortunately, faking good mental health isn’t the same as having it. I succeeded in cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, eating, going to work, moving all my stuff in and I was so proud of myself.

Everyone at my new work liked me and called me a breath of fresh air. 

At my new job I had shitty customers and I hadn’t cried or had a panic attack once. I was getting better. 

Or so I thought.

See the thing about depression and anxiety, that I found, is that they never really go away. They’re always there in the back of your head undermining you. Anxiety says it’s embarrassing to go shopping alone - I look like an idiot when I don’t know where things are in a store - everyone is staring at me and judging me, just stay at home and wither away.

Depression says stay in bed, don’t go to work, you can just order pizza or not eat tonight - you don’t have to cook food. Don’t wash your clothes or do laundry just wear this dirty top you wore yesterday and some old worn jeans. You aren’t worth it to look your best.

Needless to say I’ve neglected my mental needs - I thought I could go off my antidepressants I thought I could stop going to therapy or regular doctor visits but the truth is I can’t.

I’m embarrassed by my inability to be a regular, functional person. I’m embarrassed about relapsing. I’m just embarrassed.

I guess the lesson here is don’t ignore your mental health and always make sure you have a good support system or a way to get help again when you need it. I’m about to build my mental health from the ground up again. ",4.64073057060083,6.017758706638116,5.6095912583448815,79.30866576395013,70.07066381156316,9.091548053911072,29.15285300415669,9.478462496947786,2.626680362766089,1904,72,362,42,34,627,230,467,0.13699999999999998,0.757,0.105,-0.8398,4,1,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,11,1,11,22,31,2,5,17,0,37,17,3,3,4,63,76,34,0,5,15,0,2,3,0,0,8,3,4,2,12,18,6,5,10,3,3,10,13,14,1,1,23,10,62,17,55,48,9,71,0,5,5,0,20,31,0,8,28,238,74,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584822639635747,0.0,0.0,0.06832951032714002,0.0,0.0,0.10979185733780626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514105484118958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429125321710609,0.0,0.0,0.07505532612696741,0.1859551677714029,0.050730188356101734,0.0,0.04021733996038821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923599032309401,0.0583489346173369,0.07202688249076401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736716854852387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802540529803655,0.0,0.0724697049297423,0.0,0.0,0.17047078442113925,0.06696255744000326,0.0,0.0,0.2268368979799524,0.13505504715183786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501642269674882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363382404022466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608260149800035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669140825672925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977642318955469,0.07233744889878037,0.0,0.0,0.10340659521775956,0.0,0.2249683968698772,0.11067227779355396,0.05276569954685546,0.07273693308040502,0.07267816385120487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770869742720839,0.21038288696560384,0.0,0.0,0.044221203537856905,0.0,0.13235526686457366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19640803118998934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036257767060945856,0.05377788542136323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669517722637563,0.0,0.05825654317344465,0.0,0.16620546649582946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807675677746772,0.06688761677679986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26594643416765784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05266008174833536,0.14024054632323096,0.0,0.09783826128450906,0.050883471425725545,0.1274368404095962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13845792507762802,0.07026050958054621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740666272344733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521248254624142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04226484594912625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739630860680365,0.0,0.0,0.052573000257247614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054574648545490656,0.0741579125079146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0466969712058598,0.1406397178338412,0.0,0.16547248510590468,0.0,0.0,0.07552482502697236,0.0,0.0748668892377798,0.062180026401143285,0.0,0.0496044864709585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017895898822928,0.0,0.08766082824981675,0.0,0.0,0.15712874875420385,0.038470163086166936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052367353270453984,0.0,0.0,0.05931884696585048,0.06115886600990561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409029663695902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04248530625255998
mentalhealth,cursewordbyrd,2019/03/07,"Obsessive Behaviors: I NEED HELP Looking for some help or advice.

Ever since I can remember i’ve had this series of what I could only call “obsessive” behaviors. They’ve become so integrated into my life that I barely even realize i’m doing them.

For starters, I pick at a lot of different things:

- I’ll obsessively pick at, rip off, chew on and chew off the skin on my lips, sometimes for hours, without noticing it. I’ll pick and pick and pick, even after my fingertips are covered in blood or my lips are in unbearable pain. I’ve tried everything I can think of to get myself to stop: covering my fingertips in spicy/disgusting flavored things, therapy, finding other things to do when the urge arises, putting a rubber band around my wrist and snapping it every time i do it, cutting my fingernails disgustingly short.....you name it, i’ve probably tried it.

- I pull out and play with my leg hairs around my ankles, my beard hair on my chin and parts of my sideburns. I’ve tried shaving these areas but even without the hair I still instinctively reach for them and pull on the skin looking for hairs and when their is nothing there to pick I reach up for my lips and it starts that whole cycle again.

Secondly, I am very adamant about every single space I am inhabiting to be immaculately clean and organized a specific way. For example, I share a home with three other people currently, if I go into the bathroom or the kitchen and something is moved from the spot I put it in previously I will have low grade panic attacks and internalized fits of anger. If I come into the same spaces and there is a small amount of mess or dirty, I will drop everything I am doing and deep clean the entire room. If i’m at someone else’s house (my girlfriends for example) I will clean the whole house if im there for more than two consecutive days. Those are just very small examples. While the common areas in my home are constantly in a state of clean by me and some may find that to be awesome, my cleaning is interfering with my own life dramatically.

Thirdly, everything I do has to be done in very specific ways and in very specific orders. I wake up and do my morning routine in a very specific way, I shower in a specific way, I do my after shower routine in a specific way, I get dressed in a specific way, I do my daily activities in a specific way, I drive my way around town in a specific way, I travel around the grocery store when shopping in a specific way, I take my clothes off and change into bedtime clothes a certain way....etc. E V E R Y T H I N G I do has specific steps and if those steps aren’t taken I feel weird and angry and panicky.

I can’t live like this forever and I’ve tried so many things to alleviate myself from this stuff but nothing is working so i don’t know how to fix it.

Anyone else?",5.610490373364538,5.984551696202531,6.543470375491967,77.11836692905013,67.3001808318264,10.122518880970114,32.35873843208169,10.056822442137396,3.1328132539091587,2220,89,431,50,34,740,256,553,0.08800000000000001,0.843,0.069,-0.8567,5,0,1,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,3,1,22,16,4,4,26,0,39,19,13,7,2,74,54,41,0,7,14,0,7,1,1,4,3,0,11,0,25,35,3,1,7,4,2,11,5,12,0,4,3,10,62,4,73,43,11,89,0,1,2,0,10,47,0,13,19,290,87,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671594032552637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773832296466704,0.06995412874256231,0.0,0.2431110720667571,0.0,0.07767080687094359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540256565781736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971473721829151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722241655111452,0.058811457036012364,0.0,0.0737792510323779,0.0,0.0545107250387673,0.0,0.0,0.04403067113156613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133113327018684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986735453041422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406726856728305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614284718535379,0.1352817374211679,0.0617571657129365,0.1150465061569389,0.0,0.1840790895815324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034521063804827896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248012341260043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134002875650826,0.0,0.0388013256509538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152439238700433,0.0,0.13696749986270249,0.0,0.0672355101027599,0.15755658908670447,0.0,0.0,0.0737469479937671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03752125489666661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644699098329934,0.03335491662508856,0.0,0.06028663050692725,0.0,0.11466485995725875,0.0,0.0,0.058043571890314664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069218474328391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256378028736309,0.0,0.05062383370343943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102026661275898,0.07772967648419536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051924969207923735,0.07264767204508603,0.08010408136454616,0.0,0.07393339912466965,0.0,0.04733215360538902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361023287218252,0.0,0.0,0.13726717443472414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734041137720242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056476431533396584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05784779906024937,0.05256017050458786,0.06752410192254397,0.0,0.0483242378542563,0.0,0.05452319602150616,0.0570795886906772,0.0,0.0,0.07815666657298148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133307238050667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807654086985155,0.0,0.18143115518865516,0.04374681436307784,0.0,0.0,0.03981074710547134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541252805027592,0.0,0.06669315531143104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816633739098359,0.0,0.5961143960475754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244954359848942,0.0,0.1316261715144403,0.0,0.04970382152109108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daydreaminghippy,2019/03/07,"Thoughts of nothing I'm new to Reddit.. thought it might be a good place to try and describe the way I'm feeling.. I don't know why, this post could be long if it is sorry.

I feel like my body is a empty shell I can see my mental health getting worse and it's like I'm screaming for help inside but I'm stuck. My mood is flat I feel numb I have lied to my grandmother saying I have made and appointment with a councillor but I haven't I know I need help  but actually getting help is a different story I feel like  this is just how I'm supposed to be.  I have always  struggled with life even as a small child I used to sit and think about suicide. 

I hate feeling normal so turn to opiate painkillers to boost my self I love how I am when I take them.  So much more patience with people and more energy I don't always have access to them so I don't take them every day i buy them from a friend but end up taking them all in a few days.  I used to be addicted to codiene but my husband found out and I went cold turkey years ago. 

I struggle to eat or sometimes I binge then don't eat for days or eat very little for the next few days I have just realised i do this. 
My mental health has got alot worse in the past year I lost my grandfather last year in Feb and its affected me in ways I didn't expect it to..  I have flash backs to the day I was watching him take his last breath watching his chest move up and down as his breathing slowly started to stop the gaps between him exhaling and inhaling where getting longer then it just stopped. I have flash backs to when my husband picked me up from the hospital after he died and I'm just sat in the car numb wondering if that just really happened did he really just die? Gramps always gets better.. after 5 heart attacks, a triple heart bypass and numerous says in the hospital due to C.O.P he always got better and came home. 
I have been avoiding my family I used to visit my nanna and Gramps alot and phone daily now I haven't spoken to my nan in weeks or visited I don't even have a reason why. 

I get frustrated with the way I am why can't I just asked for help?. 

I hide used how I feel but now I don't even have the energy to do that I don't have the energy to hold conversations or even smile I just feel like a flat line of nothingness no emotion no smile or laughter. I have two children that stop me commitinfg suicide I couldn't pass my pain onto them purposely but I welcome death by accident or if someone else did it. 

I also struggle with the way the world is... We are born forced into school college forced to work hard to achieve what we want forced to kill our self's over money. I hate money I hate that it divides us. 

I feel like I'm sat in my head watching my self just be this failure of a human I have other illnesses that cause a great deal of pain but due to me abusing painkillers and having a high tolerance for them they don't get rid of the pain. 

My husband asks me to explain how I feel and I can't because I can't even think I don't know how I feel I don't even know if I feel anything. I struggle to make a simple decision like what to make for dinner my husband doesn't help trying to decide either so I just get frustrated and just want to go hide in my room it's ridiculous. I don't feel hungry any more even when I haven't eaten for days I feel weak and know I have to eat. Iv lost around 5 stone in the past year.

I don't know if any of this makes sense I struggle greatly to try discribe how I'm feeling this is the most I have written/spoke about this.",2.2870872274143323,3.644949176234981,3.6464572763684906,91.15346873609259,75.92923898531375,6.702278593680463,23.297752558967513,7.3011,0.7303708767245212,2779,81,621,32,60,912,296,749,0.208,0.6729999999999999,0.119,-0.9975,1,1,0,0,0,2,40.0,4,0,8,6,40,38,8,6,32,0,62,26,7,18,1,124,140,55,6,12,31,4,15,6,1,1,12,3,2,6,24,29,6,5,30,0,3,8,24,23,0,1,19,24,106,14,78,113,12,78,0,2,4,1,48,26,0,16,44,392,130,4,0.0,0.058973287941479324,0.04857161562969617,0.05426030493770013,0.0,0.0,0.04412107700206036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03980373486517354,0.16566167803687332,0.0,0.0,0.06769517785505362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040959231079396086,0.04430883946503845,0.09306273802929604,0.056624378042635995,0.0,0.07654527698116073,0.0,0.030341375879626018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804097730700597,0.0,0.055286977991920914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056927459568743136,0.0,0.051130947384046575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03973997472566548,0.0,0.0,0.1925981821021212,0.05131414456565075,0.0,0.0,0.10331377079874708,0.05200256337251618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20372227675920027,0.041579252217482834,0.05598832626622372,0.04408441996170659,0.0,0.0,0.2301238258157176,0.0,0.04193619919475813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046921890385910034,0.0,0.35233666090183363,0.14223238208142222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457391586248381,0.038454771430193706,0.0,0.18203166958309086,0.0,0.028287345281035912,0.04174752958917717,0.07961659946080132,0.1097506015612908,0.0,0.0,0.04401441439213432,0.0,0.04458715055369709,0.14742265352303166,0.05108182293961359,0.10581349998701144,0.0,0.11796333318052052,0.16681015697620655,0.052588283432998525,0.04992673440786504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0550668439533147,0.0,0.16412480885642278,0.08114385671395317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035156393364030335,0.14590048575376724,0.04988597871021422,0.0,0.0440478538442416,0.0,0.0,0.10866699560067064,0.0,0.04492239713317398,0.047096752981194916,0.09967230501603333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003196721970524,0.05280166517019235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290120049894247,0.03658914370592516,0.03690631284871403,0.0,0.048071417448143784,0.05293452884501351,0.0,0.04876732106277323,0.04775887754233713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888708041749286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950286006795827,0.03450657804774655,0.0,0.05200256337251618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04766911648698957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377217283390664,0.051175299778923815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916354100343051,0.0,0.0503732936137435,0.03966292060827355,0.0,0.15577339663442222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04217280307599578,0.0,0.04922712185293362,0.055717197113742414,0.03522983760717596,0.0,0.0,0.12483826312926563,0.0,0.2601695935838573,0.0,0.10888794599218878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969347757097629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637855136170248,0.0,0.07902896996075716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137852468435543,0.05413911862327952,0.04862133652719229,0.0,0.05987121891843133,0.17195279505292807,0.0,0.041068231443856316,0.058715229984502675,0.15803109315185745,0.03992518395540635,0.0,0.0,0.04614039973319802,0.13473813630394094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397708146681412,0.03623559601550688,0.0,0.10144660418066767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820963769753058
mentalhealth,FifaLeaf,2019/03/07,"I constantly feel like crying because I'm so stressed out. Looking for de-stressing suggestions. I'm here to rant a bit and look for some advise on how to cope with stress. 

I've never been over-emotional like this in my life and I don't know how to handle it. I've always been very good at managing stress. This year has had a little to much going and I constantly feel on the verge of a meltdown. It's really nothing major, but it's just a bunch of little things that have been piling up. I'm currently trying to deal with the following:

My parents are in the middle of a very very dramatic divorce.

My dad cheated on my mom and casually introduced me to his mistress before he asked for a divorce. He also took out hundreds of thousands in debt before the divorce and is trying to pin it on my mom. He doesn't recognize what's wrong with that. 

My mom calls me every other day threatening to commit suicide because she can't handle the divorce. 

I'm in the process of applying to PhD programs. My boyfriend just found a pretty great job in Detroit, which isn't close to where I've gotten accepted so far. So 4 years of long distance seems inevitable. I'm torn on which school to go to based on whether it's close to Detroit or a better school as a whole. I have no idea if he's willing to move in the long run. I'm hoping he is because I'm not a big fan of the city and there are no jobs in my area there.

I have 100k in student debt and I have no idea if it's going to be worth it or what I'm doing with my life. 

My Master's adviser is f-ing difficult to work with, always super condescending, and complains about his personal life.

I'm really exhausted and stressed out. I keep questioning all of my decisions because I have no idea if I'm doing the right thing. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle some of this stress? How do you guys keep your shit together when you just want to cry? ",3.903886520791893,4.743133703324811,5.1472918442739415,83.95215307378992,71.30179028132991,8.350137349625841,28.29222316946102,8.626192665926032,1.9905492280003785,1502,54,309,25,27,500,187,391,0.18,0.7190000000000001,0.101,-0.9869,6,0,0,0,4,2,32.0,0,4,0,4,17,20,2,5,19,0,26,5,1,4,3,54,54,26,1,5,11,5,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,2,19,19,0,2,11,1,3,7,10,11,0,1,7,4,28,9,57,45,8,48,0,0,2,0,32,31,1,10,12,194,47,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208357503112126,0.12919477598046294,0.0,0.0,0.05279352135980765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257695161790682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892989280881144,0.0,0.13212097923500285,0.0,0.0,0.06866062492586797,0.08475580223890689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927260235962534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778871908151194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17055376456491206,0.050067260144878965,0.08003684968484656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732736931320734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540967017408711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850777821804265,0.055461471107659734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512125336145487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236291989697205,0.06511539418079518,0.0,0.08559133621280822,0.0,0.07686948583062682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710769810923869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629167101455837,0.0,0.0,0.15407877053687927,0.13800865070951646,0.0,0.0,0.04266540530941259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16450475760372152,0.07585572714933346,0.1556185575422634,0.0,0.13740661515115904,0.1303853705931915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727706599286812,0.0,0.08251224819824868,0.05706964073310659,0.0,0.05987583097103885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449154877915981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620294375461672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778667942066563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898129772404612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869674177178201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946816524736726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629868427002827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15713872902765405,0.0,0.07067472870626479,0.0,0.0,0.0796897916664108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5335742721182251,0.0,0.0,0.08491857595636781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315265032042678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625380439313779,0.10541625913757267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921675920772158,0.045790318403033096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667516031616468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05651819739143245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848801724646844,0.0,0.09998700735834587
mentalhealth,takeawayaddicted,2019/03/07,Interview Hos do you cope woth the panic before an interview? I have one at 2pm today and I've been awake since 6am because I'm so nervous,0.6015053763440861,2.389570870967745,3.6658064516129047,87.18537634408602,82.2258064516129,6.713978494623658,23.23655913978495,7.793537801064563,1.2430559139784942,111,4,24,2,3,40,28,31,0.201,0.799,0.0,-0.722,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,11,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28691120244513,0.0,0.4004987181216141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189327695604397,0.0,0.0,0.5522204775632434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3893364914892283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44613256746131214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WhenITryIt,2019/03/07,"Straight White Man Have you ever thought how damaging it is to mental health to tell somebody:
‘You only got there because you are a straight white man’",6.092142857142857,7.705169642857148,4.620000000000001,86.875,66.85714285714286,7.028571428571429,35.42857142857143,7.1686216300943375,2.3668714285714283,122,6,22,1,2,35,22,28,0.106,0.772,0.122,-0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,2,3,0,3,0,1,2,0,6,2,0,0,1,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24995843955448466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709074173325879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32794888805981226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43585659143282507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4132269548104242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31185621946298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583957021710209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255283822552971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emmittelliott18,2019/03/07,Having a hard time trying to cope So I've been diagnosed with a eating disorder and I'm having a hard time trying to cope with it. I knew before hand that I may have one but now that I've been told I have one I'm having a really hard time to cope. When I saw my nurse practitioner once I brought up that everyone is concerned about me and my weight she weighed me and had to do it twice to make sure she was reading it right. Right after she found out my last weight which was down on Jan 16 she got up and left the room immediately to go talk to one of the other nurses. This made my almost go into tears while I was waiting for her to come back for at least 5 minutes. Once she got back she ordered my blood work and for an ECG to be down ASAP and wants to see me back in no more than a week. Sure I was laughing when I saw that I had to be tested for HIV even tough I'm a virgin it provided a bit a relief for a couple minutes. Now I'm just trying not to relapse and self harm,2.985501661129568,3.1665645767441895,4.559285714285714,89.7275,73.0,7.445182724252493,22.799003322259136,7.1686216300943375,0.5198305647840531,764,16,182,7,14,258,116,215,0.081,0.8390000000000001,0.08,0.5777,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,11,6,0,0,12,0,18,9,2,2,2,25,38,12,0,1,3,0,6,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,11,12,4,1,2,1,0,4,2,2,0,4,17,9,24,4,32,18,3,32,0,0,3,2,10,13,0,2,14,124,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429687544005125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863417238660023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562430704100584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355162962161477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692580888186444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734594916756274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598792916788965,0.0,0.0,0.14226214433823878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701455969973038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198577811034828,0.0,0.0,0.11861020900423175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610061706814244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109030246866267,0.0,0.1985539821402332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335845673394284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011813867075813,0.0,0.0,0.1348661010696972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745349479407455,0.08285681295968515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643858431561498,0.2523382816465916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416220382724287,0.0,0.07951996789401636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120103143134116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891443346512112,0.0,0.12949321465934754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23397949724079015,0.0,0.0,0.09976987710997763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714117712662406,0.0,0.0,0.11861020900423175,0.0,0.2528255403509304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321427192731605,0.0,0.0995684859151794,0.3023104200451872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036710852798893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fozzie96,2019/03/07,"Anxiety, Claustrophobia and How To Beat It? 9 months or so ago I posted about conquering depression and I feel like I really did, however some of the fragments of it still linger. 

After seeing the amazing, nice comments I got on that post I thought it would be great to ask for some help as most of you guys seem really awesome. 

So here's what I feel at the moment;

• People look at me in the street and it's like they look down on me, it feels like they are judging me and I feel so uncomfortable when going outside because of this. My body temperature increases and I just cannot make eye contact with anybody. 

• I always feel claustrophobic when I'm outdoors. Everywhere just seems so...busy. Personal space is constantly invaded by outsiders due to the fact when I'm walking to a destination and another person is in my way, there is no mutual respect to get out of each others way. I always feel like I'm forced to move out of Thier way and I say 'sorry'. It makes me feel like I'm always in defense mode. I only feel like this is my hometown though...When I was on vacation in California, LA - I didn't feel any of this. I always felt pretty confident and no one judged me... Americans are nice. The ones I was surrounded by anyway. 

• Self confidence has gone down dramatically. I feel ugly.  I'm not as confident as I used to be and I have become super socially awkward. 

Sorry for the crazy list. Just feels good to write down what goes on in my head daily. I have a great friend who is giving me awesome advice to cope but I'd also like to hear other takes on the situation. 

It might be more dramatic as I'm still kinda young I guess (23) and my brain gets stupid. It might be a simple phase I'm having that I'll grow out of. 
 
Do any of you guys feel like this sometimes? Do you have any advice? I'd love to hear responses. 

Have an awesome day, guys. 

- Fozzie",1.6793328840970358,4.0689857708894905,3.5803497304582237,85.91305828840973,82.1266846361186,6.944501347708894,21.94346361185984,8.07648339933343,1.3098770350404316,1455,47,292,30,40,489,192,371,0.058,0.764,0.17800000000000002,0.9912,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,3,2,3,17,22,2,1,12,0,27,5,4,4,1,52,68,24,0,1,6,0,13,8,1,3,0,3,0,6,19,15,0,1,16,0,0,6,5,4,0,2,8,20,37,18,49,53,6,45,0,1,4,1,24,21,0,10,21,182,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472506025131857,0.0667879249302976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060252583045435126,0.2507690307749548,0.0,0.0,0.15370954532168385,0.07900477102197169,0.05763796665650817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043648505019864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04592901334742519,0.08321154712036244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369021761583466,0.0,0.08410884055520093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142011575105165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048590657806425006,0.0,0.06489369130111715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4571543849809566,0.3229546841071388,0.07234207168547954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058210600511215876,0.0,0.07872827817795547,0.07227684637356846,0.0428197410733879,0.06319498665223286,0.06025949307340411,0.16613408910639685,0.08299992890818038,0.2238072667214165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732469802662227,0.0,0.16983636562874002,0.0,0.05050150630374587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29447424683555873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265399965391494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800091682438608,0.0,0.10058543259237447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598561907007318,0.0,0.0,0.060138875417369834,0.08007876615253523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211011145773656,0.05730251993780215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522340545800079,0.13157497869993973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443174822445063,0.07665195178867876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965346129622816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05991658627810415,0.0,0.0,0.060039426598267866,0.1371807264144566,0.07860024148300998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468983171805781,0.0,0.0768037368720071,0.0,0.0,0.07451715919570166,0.1686829166924211,0.0,0.0,0.120339658347579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056649323984649565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402511400225541,0.059814733362144726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507303962125352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941372077543996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352222783726958,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QueerXQuinoa,2019/03/07,"Self-harm Disclaimer: I have had trauma before, but everyone in this story is better now.
(years back)
my friend and i were talking about cutting and i didn't understand it, a year later i became seriously depressed and found myself into a hole, i remember what cutting was and decided to try it. my friend who was also suffering from some trauma had also recently been going on about self harm, he didn't explicitly show me but he mentioned it multiple times. after i got better i made one small cut on the top side of my wrist as a reminder the seriousness of an issue that depression anxiety sucidie and mental issues is.",5.157948717948717,7.0005646239316235,6.625299145299149,70.71692307692311,69.42735042735042,9.644444444444446,30.09401709401709,9.994966539143718,3.429796581196581,499,20,80,13,9,170,83,117,0.252,0.617,0.131,-0.9331,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,6,15,3,0,6,0,11,1,1,1,1,15,16,10,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,11,0,1,11,0,12,4,12,5,1,16,0,3,0,0,8,7,0,1,8,61,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761326207882981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320750247152761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327554312011792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691048412961674,0.0,0.0,0.3053857368271444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974024373045009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497228446442624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929930149561136,0.26677438317792546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811967160938788,0.0,0.13808214443840364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603987055199407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336343656402935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398828334971536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699055567687484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046878411792374,0.0,0.19557619847144392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36021842680055843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876768859736896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067226742850252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721646141819568,0.0,0.0,0.17973235366484325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223589280481892
mentalhealth,justwantanending,2019/03/07,"I want my anxiety weight back Disclaimer: I have had people on this website given me all sorts of diagnosis and I would prefer of you don't this time. For example I'm not anorexic. Thank you

A few years ago life was hell to that point that I stopped eating. I did not do this by choice, food just made me feel sick and my stomach was to tight to get anything in there and at the same time or was a bit self harming, I did not deserve food. I lost alot of weight to the point were I was a few kilos above underweight. I looked so good.

My whole family is tiny in length and petite. My sister still had to show ID when buying alcohol when she was 30 due to how small she was. I have always been tiny even before I stopped eating. People have always been mentioning it, saying stuff like it would be impossible for them to get as tiny as I was. I just had the right body for it. I was even born to early so I was just about 1.5 kilos as a newborn and people still comments I was the smallest toddler they have ever seen. 

I looked so good with my anxiety weight. I had guys taking double takes on me while I walked passed. On one night I had 8 guys hit on my. I always had atleast one guy hit on my. My life otherwise sucked, I sometimes wanted to kill myself. I do not miss that part for the world but I miss the weight.

After I became somewhat mentally healthy again and started to eat I have put on so much weight. I'm was soooo hungry all the time and I still am. Last time I checked I was a bit over normal weight but that was a year ago and I'm afraid too look. My friend and boyfriend tells me I'm not fat and certainly have a normal weight, even of it is heavier then I'm used to. My Xs clothes do not fit and I'm dreading that next time I shop I'll have to buy medium. It feels like I have lost a part of who I am, I was the tiny girl and now I'm just a girl. I have not had any guy hit on me for over a year. I feel ugly and refuse to show myself naked to anyone except my bf. I just want to be tiny again. I sometimes wish my anxiety would get that bad again so I can loose this weight, it was so easy then, but that is sick since I wanted to kill myself at that time and was always hurting myself in different ways. Everything is just messy",0.8650970159239932,2.7817074968553466,2.320286364244616,96.50364110798878,81.99790356394129,5.3174361033052335,18.325036799143586,6.356417079543762,-0.29929284089388464,1744,39,407,15,47,564,203,477,0.134,0.7929999999999999,0.073,-0.9835,1,0,1,0,0,3,38.0,0,2,2,2,30,20,4,2,19,0,53,21,3,3,4,62,90,33,2,11,18,1,12,2,2,3,6,1,0,8,20,15,15,4,4,3,4,3,8,13,0,2,33,17,66,7,48,49,14,59,1,5,4,0,23,20,2,4,37,276,86,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826560192299893,0.06526276268652241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20325275930366107,0.0,0.0,0.04152810672221123,0.0,0.14014979115305165,0.0,0.0,0.04269993169661245,0.0,0.05025348550429699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695726538101645,0.050988949995987375,0.0,0.0,0.051964085597928776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334014894424456,0.06783240978591018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638027129845612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746240247117568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100385160070146,0.05523919974462716,0.0,0.0,0.054883680194935815,0.0,0.057569160265039526,0.0,0.09263293984907366,0.043626752522009066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476865273420426,0.0,0.04718072697439872,0.0,0.09571600443710256,0.0,0.0,0.10244132117535136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24186636004061424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537419907948705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351246481659336,0.0,0.0,0.04977829807440712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626779642801392,0.05966915355160792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538443765127788,0.0,0.13332514171538792,0.0,0.0,0.057783701765595524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154184367838881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04489176076758178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494615518619493,0.05730786734880529,0.11966669283224275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827620613376878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13226066173536766,0.0,0.1270098906176213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545736565276335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061389870952189486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052151452772839856,0.0,0.04856345877896509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370689360638311,0.0,0.0,0.050515804058079636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079496559197302,0.0,0.04322400804055957,0.0,0.14630614994932695,0.10211060577752526,0.0,0.0,0.06990786682580521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918305691654573,0.0,0.05337583141964717,0.05622290180479311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136542815028812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052742855919739824,0.0,0.0,0.1440771655692504,0.048472670504610516,0.0,0.5949117200182036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817986781451489,0.07022480168370902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014215262211007,0.0,0.0,0.11797672343484975
mentalhealth,Dragonfruit_1,2019/03/07,"Got meds for the first fime for my severe chronic add I've always had sever chronic add and procrastination, I recently for the first time ever have gotten meds for my add and.. it made me realize how different I think truly compared to everyone. 

I'm jealous in a sense of normal people that can actually think we'll.. normally.  Not having the attention span of a goldfish (a little embellished  but it stands) and not having my mind wander everywhere every second of the day.  Is something that is incredible and very refreshing

 describing what  its like for me is you're in a room  but you have to look at five things at once, all the while trying to understand what a group of people are trying to say in different corners of the room. 

Frustrating, tiring, and made me emotionally unstable because of my ability to do work and such. 

I don't know if meds can be a long term solution and I don't really want to fully go back to my chaotic thoughts.  But we'll see I guess and hope it works out in the long run ",5.9851870748299305,6.4171209540816365,7.0953061224489815,73.28421768707486,66.5,10.819047619047618,31.639455782312922,10.686352973137794,3.4618517006802723,801,30,147,21,12,271,116,196,0.084,0.841,0.075,-0.2283,2,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,2,1,0,4,4,4,2,0,13,0,17,3,0,3,2,36,33,14,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,2,0,9,12,0,0,7,0,0,2,4,2,0,4,6,3,16,2,25,24,2,26,0,0,2,0,5,12,0,3,12,102,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.12203954456284155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040591067284546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616265199449213,0.0,0.07623480598194604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065270948424602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613200762546625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067454314178146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312302576385327,0.1053676017170792,0.11949923431492772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127502439693585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071073912000548,0.0,0.10002110710002697,0.0,0.13776658838644892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421180541151434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872915612898034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061097510696490435,0.12534197273322684,0.0,0.2213465602258156,0.10501806355109716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366677002483572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4167370712452505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627394024574845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450625360055763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318375410559846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17340032917474016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011599807351792,0.0,0.12348067581667801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945193674115514,0.0,0.0,0.0996558319980291,0.0,0.0,0.2825621479931555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627652845631697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308364303088739,0.16026551578756545,0.0,0.09928287721383357,0.07292290892078804,0.1437369242144761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698137045753295,0.0,0.0,0.13019083001908685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318677269498408,0.07376303869363413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208888369741213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asdqwdweeeeeeeeeeeee,2019/03/07,"Trauma as a child which results in obsessive hand washing Hello,
As a little kid, let's say 4-5 y/o, I got """"""molested"""""" by other kids similar age. Nothing too bad, I don't wanna go into details but even though it WAS sexual, with sexual organs, mouth, hands involved, if I said to somebody that this traumatized me they would laugh in my face.
Well, let's skip the bullshit - this went on for I don't know how long, let's say a month. I told my parents then but they didn't believe me. I was sweating every night lying next to my mom (as a kid i slept with parents) with guilt. Eventually, I told her again. I don't remember any reaction really.
I felt guilty for a long time and then it just disappeared.

Now, 14 years later it has come back in a similar way and has been like this for about 2 years.
After remembering and realizing how disgusting I was felt and what not, I unconsciously and consciously wash my hands obsessively, what is that logic you ask? Well, it's not logical, let me explain:  

In the time frame when it was happening, I could've touched, let's say, an old TV remote. The idea here is that by touching any item in that time frame, touching it now could result in me somehow getting closer to the people with which such a horrible thing has happened, so if I Do touch it, or I touch anything the item has touched, i have to go wash my hands. I'm not talking once or twice, I'm talking about up to 20-50 times in a row. I estimate I wash my hands about 50-60 times a day, sometimes over 100. and because I still live in the same house, I basically interact with only 50% of it. It sucks, but I can work with it. This does not apply to anything like public transport, my hygiend is good and normal everywhere else.

""Why don't you get therapy?"" I simply can't, i don't have the money, it's 6-8 hours of work for 1 hour of therapy, I need to pay for food and shit as I'm a student and no, all my friends told me when they got a state assigned therapist, it was a waste of time and that seems to be the consensus from everybody. Mother can't pay for it.

Although as I'm trying not to be a pussy, I try to fight this by touching some items and then not washing my hands, or only washing then once etc., but at this point, it's gotten so far that I can't even do that. BTW I'm talking about sweating, trembling, crying etc. if I don't do that. I can hide it perfectly if I have to tho and can go on stoicly for a few hours.

I told all of this to my best friend and girlfriend about half a year ago, they support me, but can't really do anything else and for the love of god if they just knew what they're doing to me when they try to help me by making me touch something.

This is a throwaway, I'm xanned up otherwise I couldn't even type this without breaking down. I'm a fucking pussy, I know, but it do be like that  sometimes.

Anybody went through a similar thing? My goal here is to get motivated and touch stuff without mental agony and imaginary filthiness on my hands.

Thank you,
anon.",4.694385649831354,4.629217831442464,5.716106706382233,83.78212273862194,69.22690437601297,9.068973673835911,30.12786368215866,8.841846274778883,2.1471762144640603,2330,83,504,37,37,774,273,617,0.108,0.775,0.117,0.8781,2,0,1,0,1,0,94.0,0,3,6,6,31,26,6,4,28,0,49,22,13,6,3,80,91,49,0,11,24,4,18,3,3,1,6,4,0,4,43,24,1,0,15,1,3,8,21,12,2,2,21,22,63,14,72,59,11,67,0,0,0,2,41,21,3,11,38,336,106,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128703572594019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403298979947396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17068508039951727,0.0,0.06463508755791407,0.0,0.0,0.053163175558671366,0.0577276908736868,0.04214613771603952,0.0,0.0,0.07789532092782726,0.07255650388458293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05955662492274076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040280139336063,0.0,0.07594530536375595,0.044588559743954224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060503495253044624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155125526963791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421522332258686,0.13699581851127507,0.0,0.058252098835648684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276744670548205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360244913143591,0.0,0.10683234003399733,0.06391735309069188,0.10836590901056646,0.0,0.11787886823908872,0.0579900245246091,0.11059261711367883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227774889452968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046342024015293436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20426224371012766,0.0797764513349616,0.0,0.07804885803675124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759933324944823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534935818947264,0.0,0.10133261572927604,0.06929485785883284,0.06105048951190505,0.12237064802733455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062400121326755924,0.0,0.046150430689616384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967526352165256,0.0,0.0,0.08097407921153464,0.055185625396638426,0.0,0.0,0.05126526068178793,0.0,0.0,0.07352949159216257,0.06488172145538253,0.06774096987915794,0.06634017646557752,0.0,0.07254913905228931,0.14726031685324972,0.0,0.10516576432879546,0.0,0.0,0.15354006177230753,0.0,0.0,0.047931873501035116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535815224688353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858368154997566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566406990713397,0.0,0.06576646777995766,0.16494493432614804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294101882524057,0.0,0.0,0.07096959223290872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322613175014935,0.13675932595865994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521402969243777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791469470557157,0.0,0.07845745708927504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667125237142261,0.0,0.0636533659874181,0.15813161224703012,0.08027503180365779,0.09186498518693184,0.0,0.06792814436453562,0.0,0.24189100417656376,0.0,0.0,0.2642588839324101,0.0,0.14082134177919226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548788578492485,0.0,0.0,0.12432748142178594,0.1281840117695049,0.06238666818975287,0.0,0.0,0.1332939349232861,0.0,0.10066718305400392,0.0,0.0,0.049113948262624,0.0,0.0,0.13356862263830516
mentalhealth,snwbrdrmidget15,2019/03/07,"Looking fit a counselor, or therapy that specializes in building/gaining confidence. Pretty much, just want/need help gaining confidence in my ability as a person. I have self defeating behaviors and really struggle with believing in myself. So wanting to work through what caused it how to grow and gain that and not allow the triggers that create the lack of confidence to have control over me. If that makes sense. I’m tired of not knowing who I am and just feeling dead inside, while everyone just says “you’re fine, you’re doing great” 

Thanks.",5.257505668934243,8.001324795918372,5.272993197278911,76.65216553287985,71.44897959183673,8.845351473922905,33.337868480725625,9.444778638647367,3.726846712018141,442,22,69,11,9,138,74,98,0.131,0.5539999999999999,0.315,0.9676,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,5,5,6,0,1,4,0,4,1,0,6,0,22,11,10,1,3,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,7,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,3,5,4,12,11,2,7,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,2,1,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259645837595122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23674256283385114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584768394591749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22021129909765613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652585643862705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540793786884117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447030062887432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665300195281462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352562663590567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538316690791161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941222676307194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012259435666565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344573638135016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763649420363542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832684561796553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404166493244202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409234309462516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121736110807627,0.2635473762935585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648761307219282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718587222627372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777525755761324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,levissy,2019/03/07,"Might I be facing early symptoms of Alzheimer's? (young adult) Problems facing currently:
RLS like tingling in calves at night
Muscle movement stiffness esp in crowds (heavily controlling muscle movements)
Uncontrollable eye movements like paranoia 
Excess fear anxiety and anhedonia
intrusive, obsessive thoughts 
inabity to concentrate or make new memories
delusions 
twitching shivering hand muscles

Drugs used:
All SSRIs
Previously abused MPH(upto 3-400mgs), benzos, codeine, weed, MD all at the same time. After this abuse, stayed behind bars and went to rehab in 2017 for 3 months.

2018 After rehab gave up benzos, MPH and codeine. Still smoked up and got hands on at Phenibut. Abused Phenibut for 3 months in 2018 summer and then left it.
Also did 1000 mics lsd spread over 3 days, combined with Phenibut, sertraline, MDMA and alcohol.3 days of combines use

2018fall- 2019present: Gave up all gabaergic drugs. Only smoking up. Due to heavy ADHD-I symptoms and above mentioned problems started MPH yesterday again. Also did Lsd once again in 2018 December.

About me: I am 21 years old male with many dreams and aspirations but these problems are worrying me about things like schrizo like symptoms, Parkinson's alzheimers or Huntington type of disorders.
My self diagnosis tells me my problems are related to D2 receptors in my brain. My productivity is negative and life is a mess.



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mentalhealth,homebluston,2019/03/07,"I am 56 years old and have just realised that when someone close to me is in a bad mood it is not because of anything I said or did. Parent, wife, colleague, boss. They are having a bout of depression. Though I may think that I caused it or set it off, it was there, waiting to be triggered and I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I blamed myself and that triggered many negative reactions in me. 
I wish I had realised it earlier in life and I feel sorry for all the children out there that are being shaped and suffering from the depression bouts of their parents. ",4.480961538461539,5.394007299145301,4.838536324786325,86.42139423076927,70.02564102564102,7.901282051282053,30.009615384615394,8.07648339933343,1.9308128205128203,462,18,94,6,8,146,76,117,0.223,0.7559999999999999,0.021,-0.9766,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,0,6,7,0,0,6,0,14,1,0,4,1,22,20,9,0,1,5,3,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,9,7,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,2,14,0,15,12,1,15,0,3,0,0,7,10,0,3,4,74,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15965277198893468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198930533820385,0.1182660083572037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993005549459588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341991163490982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809671558751416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715614058172284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703420464170465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19669454649436965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20357967658328652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4308477884989851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20269797977552426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845468659665153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438308865161125,0.0,0.0,0.2171770497698025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431305219031097,0.19061273284949606,0.0,0.11312813412157086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22310062951193094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242364935694338,0.0,0.12493535348863274
mentalhealth,notinagoodplac,2019/03/07,"I don't feel okay I feel like I'm falling apart and it's been really hard to get out of my own headspace for awhile now.  I don't know if I'm just lazy or depressed, but I know that everything around me is going to shit and it's so hard to pick myself up and just take care of it.  I'm aware that none of it is even that hard and I just need to do it.  I can do my job, I can do my homework, I can go to classes, I can do anything but I just don't want to and then while I'm mulling over how to get myself to just do something, I end up not doing anything and feel a lot of dread about how much more i will have to take care of once I snap out of it.  Then I start wondering if I ever will snap out of it.  I've been in this kind of funk before and it was really bad.  I don't want to go back to that place.  I know things can get better but it just doesn't feel like they are.

​

There's some things where I think I am okay, but I feel so far away in those moments and when I look back on them, it doesn't even feel like me.  I have to go to work or else other people are going to have a hard time.  I have to act a certain way at work so other people are comfortable.  I have to go to social events and hang out with friends and people and do things to be a regular person but it gets to be so hard to force myself into this.  The only saving grace is that I don't even feel like I'm there when I finally force myself into the mindset of whatever I'm set on doing.  Once I'm in the moment of being around other people, I really don't even feel like I'm there and it's like I'm watching myself in a TV show.  Nothing feels real, my head feels light, and I get tunnel vision.  I still feel things, but in the empty detached way you feel when you're watching a soap drama.  However, the moment I'm by myself again, I feel even worse and am just reminded that I can do all this, so I must be being lazy.  I wish I could put myself into TV mode all the time.

​

I feel like my memory is so bad.  I forget about things that I planned all the time, my work schedule, even classes I have.  I have to check what my day looks like every morning, even when I should know most of my own routine after checking a million times.  

​

I'm aware of what i need to do but it doesn't feel like there's any sense of urgency inside of me to do anything.  Every once in a while, it hits me how much of a hole I've dug myself into and I feel so horrible that i start to feel physically ill.  

​

​

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mentalhealth,IntrovertApocalypse,2019/03/07,"Has anyone else ever felt like this? (stress, short-term memory loss, etc.) I am currently attending high school online because mainstream school made my anxiety so bad that I had to start studying from home a couple of years ago. I'm not the most organised person, but I put effort into my work and get everything done in time. Around the middle of last year (sometime in term 3 at my school) I started to fall behind on schoolwork because I was feeling very overwhelmed, so I ended up having to contact my teachers and let them know I might be submitting some assignments a week-or-so late. I ended up getting over that overwhelming feeling after some of my teachers gave me some advice and/or adjusted the workload that week so I could get on top of everything. However, my stress levels didn't go down.

I eventually just accepted it as normal because there were also some things happening in my personal life that could have been impacting my mental health. I told myself just to make it to Christmas holidays and I could give myself a break. This didn't end up happening because I was assigned novels to read and some other homework to do over the holidays. This usually wouldn't take me as long as it did, but something has been affecting my ability to think for a while now. It has now gotten to the point where I can hardly understand anything I read - and for a school that relies on students reading the course and what they’re expected to do each week because teachers aren't there to supervise, this isn't great. I can skim over the words, read them, but the meaning doesn't stick with me as easily as it should. It got to the point where I'm having trouble in online lessons because they're set up so that a teacher can talk over a PowerPoint presentation, and I can't read the dot-points on the PP while also concentrating on what the teacher is saying. I also can't handle having lots of noises around me when trying to concentrate, which sounds fairly normal but has never been a problem for me. I have to actually think about simple math questions that I should know off the top of my head, and it is taking me longer than I am happy with to complete all of my schoolwork for the week.

My memory has also gotten a lot worse, too. I forget what I was just doing, how I was going to finish my sentence, what schoolwork I have left to do, etc. I used to have trouble remembering some things, but never to this extent.  


I was regularly talking to a counsellor through most of this, and I had my last session with her yesterday because my old psychologist is coming back from maternity leave and I have an appointment with her in a few weeks. The counsellor I was seeing said she thinks I'm just stressed and should give myself some breaks from schoolwork. I can see her point – I don’t really give myself time off, don’t have weekends or holidays (even at Christmas, my family doesn’t really get together anymore, so I didn’t end up having that rest I was looking forward to then), and I usually work from the moment I wake up until early evening, even skipping meals to do so. I know I need to look after myself more and that doing something like, say, creating a timetable for my schoolwork that includes breaks and weekends, etc. would probably help, but I’ve gotten to the point where if I take a day off, I’m worried I will fall behind, because it is honestly taking me so long to do even simple tasks now.

The other option of contacting my teachers again and explaining what’s going on also doesn’t appeal to me, because even though when I did that last time I was able to get back on track with my work, my mental health still hasn’t gotten better since then, so it’s not as if I can say to my teachers that I’ll take some time off and come back feeling better or more able to function, because I don’t think it’s that simple.

It doesn’t make sense to me that I can spend so much time dedicated to schoolwork, to the point where I hardly do anything else any more, and I still have to rush to get things done Friday afternoons because I didn’t finish them during the week. This can’t be the way everyone my age feels – most people my age go out with friends, party on weekends, have hobbies, are on sport teams, or have dance classes they attend. I don’t. So why am I struggling?

I don’t know what to do. I feel stupid, and that really hurts because I used to be good at maths, good at creative writing, etc. and now it’s like I can’t even get my brain to take in information. It’s so hard to describe this to anyone because, as I said above, I’m still getting all of my work done, it’s just taking me so long and I feel so terrible.

The counsellor I was talking to actually suggested I see a doctor to make sure it’s not something medical, so I’ll probably be doing that soon. I’ll also fill my psychologist in on how I’m feeling when I see her next and see what she says.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? I’m diagnosed with depression and anxiety but don’t take medication for either.",8.607675840978594,6.732996699286447,8.53707645259939,72.68414678899083,62.12945973496434,11.57423037716616,36.682772680937816,10.25414643259724,3.5909895616717638,3986,146,747,70,45,1299,355,981,0.065,0.8370000000000001,0.098,0.9818,3,0,4,0,0,0,95.0,0,0,4,12,60,28,1,6,37,0,99,11,3,9,6,128,177,72,0,15,21,0,11,3,1,7,7,7,2,2,52,36,1,0,25,15,1,15,27,15,0,0,35,26,110,13,123,127,29,145,0,5,7,0,36,56,0,21,74,548,162,24,0.08187925769780734,0.0,0.07990234428814039,0.0,0.0,0.040005731493690175,0.036290510818697184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643643839632652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027840351496947042,0.0,0.06263740802543892,0.0,0.04060111101167867,0.08587782115481106,0.0838949755544168,0.06737965252040101,0.07288989876175528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444014259699278,0.03418288003939513,0.3244334308591331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724155495864113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04570216534354295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053173042170842,0.04292442193904145,0.0,0.0,0.0980608870437933,0.04529892063712622,0.0,0.026402673756551188,0.0,0.03526124233813493,0.04155286150922005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04190344488746297,0.0,0.12568636274390202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259941993447502,0.0,0.14504143853801155,0.0,0.18263403227470365,0.16224143246319275,0.03703223813181823,0.0,0.039119569794378604,0.07358779721377504,0.0,0.038594238545085216,0.0,0.14490214510951913,0.0,0.039308463886080565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031629855693522696,0.0,0.17111413082147775,0.11781906735380945,0.09306773811579604,0.06867643662185154,0.032743161096738034,0.045136085335502514,0.0,0.0,0.07240555717176989,0.043580996178963084,0.11002159825801144,0.0,0.042015870282184016,0.08703382208606404,0.0,0.0,0.027440970247081264,0.04325496562046357,0.041065785748753074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382671941629513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999739740627029,0.1001137849539921,0.046181684546279585,0.04334915573523687,0.04448102653207117,0.041863544242720964,0.028916870584644563,0.06000310414513463,0.0,0.0,0.10869084970887234,0.06875795464815683,0.0,0.0,0.06961081686471188,0.0,0.03873806669564636,0.08198256047421347,0.0,0.0,0.04459525767991277,0.0,0.08248473799574213,0.08251503355245099,0.0434304765727865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03009533777801335,0.03035621604730852,0.06315033123267241,0.0,0.043539759730772065,0.0,0.08022428793135787,0.0,0.0,0.04295925369008995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02838238386382742,0.07149380959152878,0.0,0.0,0.2322070927181424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827968839542266,0.03917369579075489,0.0,0.04115563459451083,0.045861753784986636,0.0,0.20475353846945826,0.0,0.0786809236791514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046376618782124485,0.0,0.07788592423196168,0.13022734422812096,0.0,0.16573236023024562,0.16311791860480448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03386568404226438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606930566874394,0.040490339755164806,0.0,0.057954560028734586,0.0,0.09808332144782683,0.0,0.14068861957755546,0.04279898901928488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03858511568948564,0.0,0.2462520471576084,0.09871716870951044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159541082294683,0.10492984438646852,0.04022297748219877,0.0,0.11936113404784905,0.0,0.0,0.039119569794378604,0.0,0.02779532064058903,0.0,0.0,0.0426195974452661,0.0,0.0707173894336498,0.09017843453973896,0.033779481345127406,0.0,0.032495971797391825,0.1970358049334773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03694164728421388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921814956251273,0.04157618035293699,0.04172097936737459,0.029082337718926224,0.0,0.0,0.05272755744047458
mentalhealth,haramon,2019/03/07,"what do i have? alright. i usually dont post much on reddit but i need a question answered.  


i am a minor, and i was wondering if i have some form of mental illness. maybe i do, maybe i dont, but ive never shared this with anyone, so this is kind of me listening to others experiences and answering questions.   


ive been stuck in a rut. my brain feels heavy and every little thing that used to make me happy has now been dulled. every day ive followed a formulaic routine, and everything has to be perfect down to a tee. you'd think that would make me happy but no. it gets so boring, but if i leave this routine i feel vulnerable and wrong. i have a stupid short attention span, which makes things a lot worse, as i just cant figure out or piece together certain things without getting disgruntled and leaving the problem.   
ive never done any self harm, as i know that one day ill get better and i wont have to see the scars, but the way my life is going is doing me great harm anyway. makes up for it i guess.  


i dont know what i have, ive never gotten professionally diagnosed with anything, as my parents brush my thoughts aside (though i do love them dearly). i have self diagnosed myself with dermatophagia, but thats about it when it comes to things i *know* i have.   


sorry if this is weird lol, i just want opinions and stuff. you can ask questions. im an open book. ",1.3635258724428392,3.686352386281588,3.048545126353794,89.65161432009626,82.89891696750901,5.859398315282793,21.507701564380266,7.1686216300943375,0.6997158604091456,1069,34,221,15,30,353,158,277,0.183,0.6859999999999999,0.131,-0.9134,2,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,1,2,9,19,1,0,11,2,36,7,1,5,5,60,64,25,0,7,13,1,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,21,14,0,0,15,1,0,3,10,8,0,1,7,5,39,11,22,53,5,22,0,1,1,1,13,9,0,12,8,159,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478715284678624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066615293104517,0.0,0.07839943843886574,0.0,0.08906498253027822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842589447919387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635329700725604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206703137136473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288307928993585,0.0,0.0,0.19339494259721493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974947172720232,0.334968669581717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605388763649577,0.0,0.08562291080035322,0.0931927521301008,0.0,0.0,0.09634317423929564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932458758187386,0.0,0.0541443754317717,0.0,0.0,0.1050359748459878,0.10495110897360957,0.0,0.0,0.20283426816441674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290840253865696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920948225902028,0.15707439457649408,0.0,0.0,0.20175523852174831,0.0,0.0,0.06729231542294087,0.0,0.09548598969723802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099550453769029,0.08598527403362767,0.0,0.25437498166626776,0.0,0.19142388505129754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601017594024573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003472096297435,0.0706418095735145,0.22043526438656744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455770249371935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578652738108657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124272758471813,0.0,0.0,0.09116092578958472,0.0,0.0,0.3201740235875362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591819037096555,0.0,0.19877565240715228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664743575477786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906183813127754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531737361224178,0.06104543855347075,0.09360270434724284,0.07563407200339346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228305448417182,0.10492690838782426,0.0,0.056192962334557235,0.07562122525548384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183728555095697,0.10331670698027,0.0,0.0,0.09708869758659908,0.0676773732237018,0.10416324892693464,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dirtyhippiebk,2019/03/07,"I have a confession (please read it all) I have Borderline Personality Disorder with anorexic tendencies and suicidal tendencies, Major Chronic Depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was misdiagnosed for two years to just have depression and anxiety, it was when i was checked into a mental health facility for 9 days that my proper diagnosis was given. Two years ago, i was incredibly suicidal and even attempted suicide. I had also started cutting. 

Since then i have been able to stay clean from suicide attempts and cutting. Until tonight. Things have been much worse than they were tonight, MUCH worse. However tonight, i snapped. I got into an argument with my parents about working out. (I haven’t felt good enough to go because my lithium makes me severely nauseous, to the point that i would throw up 4+ times a day) After the argument i laid in bed trying to convince myself not to cut. But it was all i could think about. I even dream about it. I started to scratch my arms thinking that would help ease the urge but it didn’t. So, i got up, went into the bathroom and started cutting again. 

After 2 whole years of fighting that urge...2 years full of pain and hardship, & today of all days was the one that i needed to cut. Over an argument about working out....I’m honestly still in shock and i guess that’s why I’m writing this. I feel so stupid and embarrassed, i know that if my mom sees my cuts that she’ll freak out. I don’t know why i couldn’t control it today, i just snapped. I don’t know what to do or who to tell because i don’t want to go back into that institution. I’m just lost. 
I’m sorry. ",4.181629392971246,5.994104581469648,4.938167412140576,81.95787092651759,71.87539936102236,8.330683706070287,31.050351437699682,8.954980946260402,2.679941444089457,1286,58,244,26,25,415,165,313,0.236,0.705,0.06,-0.9947,2,0,0,0,2,2,47.0,0,0,1,6,16,19,8,2,10,0,27,4,1,2,3,46,52,19,4,7,8,2,3,0,0,3,3,0,2,1,19,17,0,1,8,2,1,4,7,16,0,3,18,4,35,3,38,29,9,44,1,3,1,0,11,13,0,3,25,166,54,3,0.09500072214839823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421240816898162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597204317925853,0.0,0.10293324275690703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726752924151134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730496912875024,0.0,0.11582311691368015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655138796479632,0.0758503463563792,0.0,0.0,0.1838028197161901,0.0,0.16364796556098718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177581161172927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816114127306896,0.0,0.12549416201173533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048035219570546274,0.0,0.09121559136513492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798219937887152,0.07968209845934296,0.1519615119664062,0.0,0.10465400592257926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009813252097022,0.0,0.0,0.06367698152679371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662973722771706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370451051765202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341371972675304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573838351727117,0.0,0.0,0.11126369759767976,0.0,0.0,0.13967292340452192,0.07044183172325784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437494796576848,0.0,0.10108746641482999,0.0,0.10548705936831193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295096623130717,0.0,0.10428226473750156,0.0898063893773117,0.0,0.09098443119304718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502643069300457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570327576731342,0.0,0.0,0.10732377514721528,0.0,0.07858557907152983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634553062145266,0.2017260003080092,0.10125812956190064,0.0758676994251464,0.0,0.10882300624705482,0.0,0.0,0.4156614831568152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303481848402723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311425848358465,0.12174525358332003,0.0,0.0,0.0553956850603011,0.0,0.18009915290761047,0.0,0.0,0.06449925432758168,0.0,0.18560380278831945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603388730696294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806662120307247,0.17144675064369638,0.10606491360730988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383233143543478,0.0,0.19362770401594148,0.13497157462069073,0.0,0.0,0.2447094013701776
mentalhealth,Hemiram09,2019/03/08,"I’m confused Hey guys , I hope i am in the right place for this , but recently my friends from high school have returned from college for spring break and now all they do is rip on me, even if I haven’t said a word, they belittle me as if I were a child , and just make me feel like a waste of oxygen. I hope this isn’t normal for what college does to some people but the more they do it the more I feel like an outcast. I feel as if I’ve entered this rut and now just contemplating on how I messed up I think. What I’m trying to say is while your friends leave for school, is it possible for them to just not want to associate with you anymore? :/ 

Some before context is they have never done this to me and it’s been going on for about 4 days between text and irl. 

Any advice would be awesome y’all:) thanks for reading",5.496486833654462,4.276072971098269,5.7529094412331405,88.05392421323059,67.84393063583815,8.84495825305074,29.62684649967887,7.3871296695380915,1.4313254977520868,636,18,149,5,9,203,103,173,0.096,0.743,0.161,0.9439,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,5,0,8,9,0,1,7,0,16,0,0,2,2,32,29,14,0,8,9,0,3,2,2,1,0,2,0,2,9,6,0,0,4,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,4,5,22,7,25,23,5,19,0,0,0,0,15,8,0,8,10,104,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612688377728705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122284473115805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16366889794712125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043136330851452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643296227408944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442193837828532,0.1688865810540624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900307812174152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503377069103962,0.2357999477097737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550089637742305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379234799425902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634091232826644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436696625876855,0.0,0.3278310297050236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474666011192505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16125407546960446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016115067917016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728401834711062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169780169982362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441345747333355,0.0,0.1724248943112533,0.0,0.0,0.1860504878921442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507817228169086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629506831799951,0.0,0.0,0.14093771740883715,0.15698466208192444,0.131241272598834,0.0,0.33404544946143466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15194068477792172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574681064488793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204692147521582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734104117153397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723507178937795,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,22222uprightnow,2019/03/08,"I’m spiraling and no has given me the time of day for the last 4 years I know I’m going to be scatter brained and idk what I even hope to accomplish out of this post.   Just need to get my thoughts out there. 

I’ve dealt with severe chronic pain in my lower back for the last 5 years.  I’ve seen upwards of 15 different doctors and gone thru so many different tests and treatments, that it isn’t worth typing out.  Every doctor has told me to put it out of my head and there is nothing wrong.  I haven’t seen a doctor in over a year because I’m too discouraged and anxious.  

I’ve always despised the doctor and I absolutely would not go there for no reason.  I know my body.  It’s just like when I’m at the doctor I freeze up and can’t explain anything, then the doctors end up pushing me away. 

I haven’t been working for 6 months and I’ve lost almost all my relationships because I have hardly been able to leave the house.  I’m 27 and still live my parents.  My mental health is deteriorating before their eyes and they keep minimizing it.  

So tomorrow, I’m saying fuck it.  I’m going to find a job, even though I feel like I’m a danger to society.  I don’t want to harm myself, or anyone for that matter.  But, I’m so sick of being kicked around, minimized and pushed away.  I’m literally going to snap and I’m really scared.  If anyone disrespects me, I don’t have any control over my actions and I black out.  

I’m hoping writing this out will take away some of my anger.  Please understand, I know I need to see a doctor and I truly want help!!!  I just don’t know where to turn because of my increasing anxiety.  My primary doctor and my parents are tired of hearing about it.  

It happened again tonight where I’m literally in tears with my parents.  Telling them I’m having sleeping problems and I’m sweating my sheets and sweating thru multiple pairs of clothes every single night.  All they said was well find a new doctor then.  This is what caused me to make this post.  I feel super fragile right now.  Thanks for bearing with me. ",2.7387038327526128,4.533165985365856,4.059547038327526,86.82207317073174,75.73170731707317,6.734494773519164,25.12891986062717,7.554174236665415,1.222531010452962,1594,55,325,21,35,524,205,410,0.136,0.769,0.096,-0.9569,7,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,4,5,25,18,4,1,13,0,23,22,7,4,2,66,74,28,0,9,7,3,5,2,0,2,14,3,0,0,15,28,0,3,12,0,1,10,10,11,1,0,11,13,42,7,51,59,5,53,0,2,5,1,16,21,1,6,22,195,57,14,0.06910498914219906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919866443091242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750088685156843,0.0,0.0,0.046993762327746436,0.0,0.0528651275451092,0.07806896777755888,0.0,0.09663963035850943,0.0,0.05686751793735605,0.06151809144505685,0.0,0.0,0.1947792362886992,0.05313747105393935,0.0,0.12637727991529488,0.0,0.058803255937060185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676006433234361,0.0,0.07714402227476708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098985969438634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750712143947253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456700108360543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440001081283296,0.0,0.6365869615453951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120650893252193,0.0,0.0,0.09128638716749543,0.0,0.11644786765209005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988311776578883,0.049368618051016736,0.0,0.0,0.12632141626706775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388644891900325,0.03610450462355532,0.0,0.1570958314184458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110931367571525,0.0,0.06190449666823551,0.0,0.07092165564974644,0.0734553719631804,0.07788634516088835,0.0,0.04631961755136282,0.0,0.0,0.1372736936371084,0.0,0.07973787925665185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857603864888193,0.06142368953204092,0.0,0.0,0.1519131791238266,0.11265957894185688,0.0,0.07317220552885546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752241413409571,0.0,0.06102097147465351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543625891732489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046128116861452816,0.07006161253325394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964157538842733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055158943033249835,0.0,0.0,0.10248094764560528,0.0,0.06674202913397936,0.0,0.064850351009606,0.0,0.06630810085380373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735325807113038,0.0,0.23019873725494444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585652623936896,0.0,0.0,0.13236695442973942,0.0,0.0,0.06612414177644453,0.0,0.06946960101398537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044270425578870835,0.07105143825786955,0.0,0.07419289651849137,0.0,0.05901528314419225,0.06573466955751339,0.054955061037044034,0.06918614959416841,0.0,0.05506772929322727,0.0,0.0,0.07806896777755888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915489593890188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05518733359551374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05195835161292176,0.0,0.06040080643597421,0.06362258945403687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789530096701643,0.05486164227671328,0.04029567489641793,0.0794260192643862,0.0,0.06603277855462106,0.0,0.0,0.07516638418953905,0.0,0.07194073081536692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815198260891992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062133684414396914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05030925513196933,0.0,0.0,0.04909020156761832,0.07555545734405696,0.0,0.13350404193452708
mentalhealth,throwwwyyaway2,2019/03/08,"Weird “Flashforward images” Hi, I often encounter this weird event so I figured I may as well ask about it and I believe this to be the right subreddit.

I often have these so-called “flashforward images” where I see myself acting out on various urges, often self-harm and fatal, so I wonder if this is normal and just my “edgy” imagination going wild or what is up, I’ll explain it in more detail below.


These events are very much like a form of daydreaming I suppose, wherein I see/perceive myself doing things in a sped up manor.  The easiest explanation of how I see it is like if you imagine a video layered on top of another video but the opacity has been turned down to 10% and you can only see well defined objects, but the video behind it makes up for it.


These events occur very often and almost exclusively when I see objects or possibilities for self-harm, I’ll give an example of an occurrence which happened yesterday.

I was at a train station, but as the train approaches I get this “flash forward image” / daydream in which I Lunge myself towards the train tracks and get hit by the train. This also occurs if I am standing near a ledge or atop of a tall building.

Another, but slightly different example is if for example there is a knife laying on the table I daydream myself taking the knife and vigorously stabbing myself with it. The difference here, from the example with the train, is that I get a slight physical discomfort associated with it, which can be a bit nauseating, however I can at most times snap out of it by pinching myself a bit or focusing on something different or looking in a different direction.

It also, albeit a lot more rarely, occurs without any instigation if I am for example laying in bed I can get a sensation and “daydream” that all of my bones and muscles are being crushed downwards and I experience with also the same sort of physical discomfort which I previous talked about. 


",9.927607938718666,8.021409941504178,10.022463440111423,63.17012970055713,59.612813370473525,13.320403899721448,41.6575557103064,12.048122262838008,5.148778412256268,1535,69,255,39,16,513,180,359,0.048,0.913,0.039,-0.7277,4,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,0,1,19,10,0,2,28,0,23,2,2,2,1,51,42,33,1,6,16,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,25,16,0,0,5,3,0,4,1,5,2,0,2,5,32,5,48,35,11,38,0,0,5,0,7,27,0,20,10,206,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037220007044032,0.0,0.0,0.2644353701147617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495527522614585,0.2311564064705536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304342736524552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418333675075625,0.0,0.0,0.2406694730791945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.460637413010186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078190363066742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23034742884286274,0.1057357414154897,0.06264215024287079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746964700333602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769857284584113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925593812133552,0.0,0.0,0.09370747236046004,0.0,0.0,0.07357456657545768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102643123676746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107994929273359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838293967515319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425963167072522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412965831020713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4391664553761089,0.0,0.2299728121973472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485488684478397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287381883327005,0.08859290145790294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322712234308652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427179380147201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989074157092072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18189068636566147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820704644223985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625083387709933,0.11953191129542512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alemorg,2019/03/08,"I’m just getting tired of existing Recently I broke up with my girlfriend of two years and it’s been tough. She’s crazy bipolar b***h. It would take too long to tell everyone here what she did wrong. Long story short, you can’t fix people. My mistake for thinking you can. Recently I’ve been trying to get back on the horse and find someone new. It hasn’t been going well at all and really lost hope in humanity. I have no friends thanks to my ex and I started to get extremely depressed and lost my social skills. I don’t know what to do. I just want to love a girl and make her feel like the most important girl in the world. I want to genuinely help her with anything she needs. I just want to feel whole. I just don’t understand why can’t I find a girl. I always try to be so nice and not pushy at all. No one gives me a chance. I’ve grown numb and don’t know where to find hope again. I just want to meet someone who will give me in humanity honestly. ",1.1461940298507471,3.1656775870646783,2.595171641791044,94.35663805970152,81.58706467661693,6.408059701492538,20.995273631840803,7.554174236665415,0.5657082587064681,749,22,173,12,20,243,116,201,0.14,0.67,0.19,0.836,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,0,3,12,17,0,0,6,0,16,4,0,1,2,38,43,9,0,9,6,1,2,1,2,2,3,0,0,5,6,10,0,0,9,0,0,2,9,8,1,2,6,2,24,9,23,34,4,21,0,4,0,1,23,10,0,3,10,104,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103839303757209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269551988404817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595952862263384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748561259130177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924681732241466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620004126048745,0.08915345843458636,0.0,0.0,0.3421806679779697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641618360439716,0.0,0.19560045911743998,0.23942916338607706,0.07092378331381484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836473505052126,0.0,0.0,0.24789886820795945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716796049148292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096845505869949,0.0,0.0,0.22087901218372455,0.0,0.0,0.2724566187733469,0.0,0.1126322151674776,0.0,0.08330152456411691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092533792386268,0.0,0.120527633852081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456421311336293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651702872946275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994676988220913,0.0,0.2464396977331981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721262331469066,0.21147652544852547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833042987272967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938301885636202,0.0,0.10907619047469412,0.11489432170310493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996349430087951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14343331020112032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16945500884943515,0.0,0.12190642501169956,0.12991582927992232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944289191699767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220554817034338,0.0,0.1126079322560122,0.13932898187208514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865067360162804,0.1364435666169274,0.0,0.08036378522323258
mentalhealth,gotallthesmoke,2019/03/08,Ok I’m confused I’m having random thoughts of not liking electricity and I’ve developed a Amish mentality. Idfk why tho I think I’ve convinced myself to be Amish. My mind is calm but I’m not in the sense that I don’t want to live that life. Idk what’s going on,-1.3926315789473662,0.4647435087719316,1.7452807017543892,92.70213157894736,105.14035087719299,4.3852631578947365,16.226315789473688,6.2581,-0.17722315789473653,208,6,46,3,10,73,44,57,0.095,0.778,0.127,0.1707,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,2,1,4,1,0,0,0,10,11,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,4,5,9,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23051651605973605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864931026572854,0.1981597031772902,0.0,0.3581595163642522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.408757716522496,0.0,0.4095487071875373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598973892388347,0.0,0.3220076440922938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23923825514915995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659983578356359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nathcoart,2019/03/08,"Whats going on with me? I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD when I was 15, nonetheless, new symptoms have become very evident to me. For instance, I have paranoid episodes towards my boyfriend, being totally convinced he doesn’t love me or he wants to break up with me. Social queues are increasingly more challenging for me to follow or decipher. Furthermore, I am starting to notice an increased number of times where I find that I had disassociated in critical moments of the day and have no idea what I was doing or what I was talking about or, in the best case scenario, even resume my task only to find out there had been a several minute gap. This has all led to isolation and a certain feeling of depersonalization. What is going on with me? Should I be worried? Should I seek professional help? I can barely afford it but if it’s critical I’ll find a way. 


Thank you so much for taking your time to read xx",4.632362012987013,6.534354914772731,5.806038961038965,75.82727272727277,70.875,8.892207792207794,30.75324675324676,9.424239791934726,3.020238311688311,739,32,131,17,14,246,120,176,0.085,0.8,0.115,0.6545,1,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,2,6,7,0,0,6,0,21,3,0,1,3,26,30,11,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,5,1,0,6,2,1,0,0,7,1,21,6,25,19,7,23,0,1,0,1,8,8,0,5,7,101,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942003325983755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330420729567938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245039286052756,0.0,0.0,0.1828693357858464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112379729830905,0.0,0.15008513622520658,0.1768646385273191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509344669476028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810830550980983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4777963387749419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19806568383687745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679911099532947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967121079969406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727147986804738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809709955317616,0.0,0.0,0.16829607153446394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983898909248086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252839125772767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17430164495677347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19685797324709592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17763050737170302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333822435089807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18111713514898475,0.1310176896526092,0.1400591577900829,0.0,0.16043012184226665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20321838796011188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437782030106551,0.10277981251846703,0.13831510266180802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17696389231430454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JPTomlinson,2019/03/08,"I feel lost... Sounds cliche I know but thats the only way I can think to explain it, I feel like im losing grip on who I am.

Recently ive just been unhappy with everything, i dont enjoy university, even gaming is becoming a chore. My relationships are strained, me and my partner are incredibly distant at the moment and I havent talked to my parents recently or I have but just small talk, my housemates and freindship sphere is so draining and I feel like I dont belong, they refuse to act like grown ups and keep clashing with me when I try to help them because theyre all low and stuff.

I have no motivation to get up, do work or manage my diabetes. Im spiralling and I just need my girlfriend and she lives 140 miles away.

I feel like i need new friends or something but I love these guys, I just...

I dunno what I'm supposed to do. ",0.2728513650151676,2.6682356279069768,2.2137310414560183,92.51084428715878,90.97674418604653,5.316885743174925,22.013144590495447,6.8959733430537185,0.7049001011122349,656,25,141,10,23,217,105,172,0.108,0.715,0.177,0.9245,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,4,7,11,0,1,3,0,15,2,0,1,1,34,29,16,0,2,10,1,5,4,3,0,1,1,1,2,6,10,0,2,8,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,6,30,7,13,27,1,16,0,3,0,1,17,8,0,4,9,89,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243910929976524,0.0,0.0,0.08592956162381171,0.15568224189803434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33041450016857904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310454264542713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668819733382178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850999330834314,0.302111371517616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890744257775413,0.0,0.07364719964758913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395752482359313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448433531974243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30452783924911725,0.0,0.0,0.12529413637506065,0.0,0.0,0.07746942070445385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754690455537539,0.0,0.12447265834944192,0.0,0.0,0.15770121925234307,0.15387745321748075,0.0,0.1272243522528088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090441314739967,0.0,0.1361426668435302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720849544378706,0.0,0.0,0.15652241124299116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783673469163669,0.15134120019930594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108519983468876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136858162859394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22660097866272425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032321482067496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957044292559046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188964049739596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262253409809524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sonny_and_babou,2019/03/08,"Advice on how to help someone in an episode. My brother (31M) is a schizophrenic. He lives with my mom in a different state than me. As far as I know he doesn't stay on his medication and frequently self medicates with various substances. I got a call today from my mom asking me for advice. I could hear screaming in the background. My brother was arguing with some type of hallucinations. He seems incredibly distressed but they live in a small town and in a rural area of the town. There aren't exactly experts standing by.  I think she is a afraid of what he could do if she takes action. She says he has acted quite normally for the most part but that he has been talking to himself more or less throughout the day. He yelled at a cable guy who stopped by and didn't let the guy do his work. He is under the impression the cable guy called the cops (vs my mom). I have no idea who the best person to call. My brother has done jail time and has a record for various petty things. But he is sick. Most outpatient places cut him loose far before he is ready.

Ok during the post I received a call and learned there are 3 officers at the house. They are attempting to get him to go with them but my brother is refusing to go. Now my mom is worried they won't take him to the hospital. What the heck is the best thing to do with this type of situation. Any information is welcome. ",3.034565217391304,4.784309557971016,4.182028985507248,86.45282608695652,74.79710144927536,7.698550724637681,26.49275362318841,8.456263369488248,1.7475231884057965,1082,40,225,20,23,353,154,276,0.102,0.809,0.08800000000000001,-0.0367,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,4,5,4,10,2,2,24,1,29,4,0,1,1,33,40,14,0,4,7,8,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,5,8,10,0,2,6,0,0,5,5,5,0,0,5,4,29,5,36,31,10,32,0,0,0,0,52,17,1,6,6,152,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972373670540988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862963658075535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434736849109013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587620749707088,0.0,0.21182040489355766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4122058730406036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16115416841007513,0.0,0.0,0.06508559724438316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544080505010613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327706529635454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05272697712436224,0.0,0.11471128597245644,0.0,0.08071562052011731,0.0,0.0,0.29978251540093875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374512910278348,0.0,0.06764511632286774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164491073717058,0.0,0.11392735196504765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055463458120162866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319840349987583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782299134469379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20333427157797834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727891043855766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988810023875368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928744247295147,0.0,0.0,0.08812019077019187,0.10544080505010613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966542741827972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734174321670836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025630808067337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187454864958268,0.10528245328257324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343926027622638,0.0,0.0,0.08550990603479991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756819479529864,0.0,0.08437434690231402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517598341524797,0.08111635388365157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409465255375458,0.06466600365577495,0.0,0.0,0.058847757381719865,0.0,0.0956611624481526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734715784677019,0.10249001878984552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PossibleBasis6,2019/03/08,"Do you think I have ASPD? I'm wondering if I do or don't. I thought, why not ask? I won't treat this as a diagnosis, it's just an easy way to satiate my curiosity and maybe help me learn something about myself.

​

Why do I think I might have ASPD?

1. I exhibited textbook conduct disorder as a child/teenager (minus hurting animals, unless you count insects, lots of insects)
2. I am very aware of what people around me feel and why they feel that way, but it doesn't ever get to me, I 'know' but I don't 'feel' (cognitive empathy I believe)
3. When there is a situation in which I should feel sad, even depressed, I have to pretend. Things like having a beloved family pet died I just shake off in a minute. I don't -like- when it happens, it just doesn't make me very sad.
4. I am highly manipulative and a pathological liar, I lie because I have problems stopping myself.
5. I think of people as tools, even if I try not to do that. There are a few exceptions (family members, one or two friends) but I still happen to treat them like tools sometimes.
6. In a crisis, I am the one person who doesn't ever panic (in fact I feel excited, like it was a video game, even though I am aware it's not at the time it's happening).
7. I like violence, I like it when people are afraid of me (unless I specifically don't want them to be afraid). I am much more likely to start a fight rather than de-escalate in conflict.
8. I'm a risk seeker, always have been. It's just like with lying. Manageable, but pathological imo.
9. Addictive personality. I am addicted to nicotine and an ADD-treating stimulant drug (I convinced the doctor I have ADD to get it, I do not).
10. I have a lot of anger in me, I like fantasizing about having power and using it to abuse others.
11. I'm very impulsive, always have been.
12. Violence turns me on sexually like nothing else. Even if it's not sex-related violence, it can happen that it causes an erection.
13. I don't understand a lot of common concepts, like charity. I just don't understand why people do things like that.
14. I can be predatory sometimes, seeking out vulnerable people constantly to use in some way. I never harmed anyone in a serious fashion, physical or otherwise. Okay, one exception, a kid in high school whom I pranked way too hard, way way too hard for it to classify as a prank.
15. When I think of things like above, all I feel is excitement, pride and joy. In other words I do not have a sense of guilt. I can't think of single thing I was guilty about - I can regret things, but I don't think it's the same as guilt. If I regret something it's generally because consequences caught up to me.
16. I don't form close relationships with people, at least not often. I have a difficulty being with others just for the sake of companionship. When I go out, I need to have a goal, such as picking up a girl or...well usually it comes down to that one thing.
17. I tend to be charming when I want to. I have this 'charm on/charm off' switch. I'm not super-charismatic (oh I so wish I were, I tried hard to improve my charisma over the years) but I can adapt how I talk and what about on the fly, depending on the situation.
18. Pretty sure I mentioned it already, but I read people like open books. This came without any training on my part.
19. I am very goal-oriented, love a challenge, and I am quite ambitious. Regardless, I procrastinate a lot and often fail in achieving my goals. I tend to abandon them early, too. I get bored very easily.
20. I am highly intelligent, not to brag, but apparently psychopaths are.
21. I'm pretty sure I'm highly resistant to pain compared to an average person. Nothing spectacular, but noticeable.
22. When I was a child I had no clue when I was going too far with my jokes, hurting others or being a nuisance. People hated me for it. I had to learn and it took years, literally, to learn what to do and what not to do. I think it's called 'boundaries'. By the time I was an adult I had it mastered so it doesn't apply now.
23. It doesn't matter to me what others think of me, unless they're important figures in my life. The one and only situation I feel shame in is when I feel I have failed myself in something.
24. I have an allergy to authority, so to speak. If there is a rule, I want to break it and I likely will. It's sometimes hard to resist breaking a rule just because. If I can do something in an illicit way rather than a regular way, I usually do it the illicit way.

​

I don't think I am evil. I haven't murdered anyone, I am not planning to murder anyone, not even rape or hurt anyone. I'm just callous and impulsive. I wish I had a role in society where my -probable- ASPD would be of benefit. At my core, I still have that need to belong. If we still lived in the old times, I might have been an executioner or something like that. Or a mercenary. I do badly with authority so I don't think I could cut it as a professional soldier in any era.

​

I have friends, actually, and good relations with my immediate family. I even have a soft spot - I'd never hurt an animal unless I absolutely had to. I am sure this is because of my upbringing - in my home, animals were LITERALLY worth more than people. By literally I mean, my mother would say things like ""I'd shoot those who hurt animals in the head, no mercy, not one bit"". That's just one thing that really stuck with me from my upbringing.

​

Hell, I even want to have a wife and family one day. And I mean an actual one, not abusive kind where I would be the tyrant, although it might work out that way with me. But at least for today I would strongly prefer to a normal, healthy family in the future.

​

What do you think? Do I strike you as an ASPD? I know, I wrote all those things. But I still have doubts. I'm curious, what do you think?",1.615436007019131,3.8782250565068495,3.80356645533794,84.98577295369637,81.39726027397259,7.2173214083550326,23.437139137325936,8.270309347392791,1.5690406911581567,4518,161,922,98,121,1547,434,1168,0.152,0.679,0.16899999999999998,0.9743,2,0,6,1,2,0,223.0,1,5,4,14,57,77,10,9,59,1,112,11,1,9,10,182,181,70,4,29,57,2,13,17,2,10,8,2,2,7,71,35,0,3,33,6,1,7,37,38,0,10,21,15,145,39,125,142,18,102,1,13,0,2,38,48,1,27,52,652,216,19,0.0,0.08372054466346057,0.06895396640827707,0.07702982895404359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03898753310402416,0.0,0.05879477980298775,0.1914001990752152,0.2146490829271748,0.048051222502117436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988142287585554,0.0,0.0,0.031451190046415126,0.03302878043452942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02949907393799038,0.08614735936045405,0.0,0.0,0.0398048111174469,0.0,0.0,0.038571209182758866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036075879730994666,0.04040810753278437,0.0,0.03629364169417669,0.0,0.030433666330726174,0.0,0.038179178364435885,0.0,0.028208129859118494,0.0,0.0,0.02278492696951008,0.0,0.03042967689320672,0.0,0.036666961705993616,0.0,0.0404912403989108,0.03616175165952015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040971583013286905,0.0,0.029513681226332376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334592075355736,0.06391601465299489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652989670703786,0.0,0.14291127479797264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05459174011527804,0.0,0.05537539981037666,0.0,0.04015770591529089,0.029633127451094043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496880789856492,0.0,0.12659496052014085,0.034881060220938294,0.03625877230340862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023680954013117976,0.14931233735164998,0.03543887023937187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910747646641626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03679075786538849,0.03883288765099105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024954623555669932,0.2934277047651496,0.0,0.03119703692986424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201452090174658,0.031886704021909615,0.0,0.02358304908058673,0.0,0.035493733281396704,0.0769694538358014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124386392930856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02597161483407062,0.05239349408973965,0.054497347446858094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03461589834710182,0.06780017495934246,0.04022343871988674,0.0370728914434465,0.0,0.2154646987403907,0.026870056732985342,0.037593610533579146,0.04145214226685711,0.0,0.03825894669262834,0.0,0.22044035940023066,0.09254637874947322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188662193186103,0.038091715095364534,0.03380603820462254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03757780343920363,0.03533956040810297,0.0,0.02263330242551964,0.0,0.0,0.03793119769622798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02809583373099421,0.0,0.035755845782415405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913719948657868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599379883100085,0.10482681899553832,0.0,0.02500675556537446,0.0,0.11285833329973252,0.029537461645329537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989431955279368,0.0,0.0,0.028396915408676494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124513681346915,0.2716564462348649,0.03471154523510125,0.028048073289861426,0.06180362066406244,0.0,0.03348870860039159,0.0,0.03925292952426652,0.047973501224117164,0.0384288943092204,0.034512275967734006,0.07355955114351669,0.0,0.06102755230690648,0.07782200636792971,0.1457547486692863,0.08335419655117178,0.2804330921307221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12751931766688784,0.0,0.08125551192215051,0.0340568588685745,0.03831387749848685,0.02572066049321973,0.0,0.0,0.10038967221854862,0.0,0.2146490829271748,0.045502722816614896
mentalhealth,mrbigglsworth1,2019/03/08,"I think I'm experiencing emotional detachment disorder. As the title says I believe that's what I am experiencing. As with many I had an interesting childhood and recent events have brought to the surface some of the worst events of my life. I find myself unable to show sympathy to my wife or kids while they are sick, I've had no interest in doing anything with friends or family. I just feel lonely and withdrawn and when I try to force myself to interact and get out there I just wind up getting angry and blowing up over nothing. Anger was never an issue in my life but for the last few months it has been. I just cant get into anything, I've played guitar for 15 years no less than 2 hours a day but I haven't picked up my guitar in weeks. I just feel like I cant let my guard down for a second or everything will fall to pieces. I'm not sure if this is just rambling or making any sense but I'm feeling really lost and lonely and I need to break this cycle.i just feel nothing but lonely and angry and numb. Nothing inbetween. I'm just lost.",3.646109154929576,4.971587563380286,4.892015845070425,83.70027728873241,72.42723004694835,7.766314553990611,25.988556338028175,8.278499904357787,1.5967654929577466,833,27,168,13,16,276,126,213,0.172,0.742,0.086,-0.9642,0,6,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,9,14,1,0,8,0,15,4,0,2,2,43,32,22,0,2,17,1,4,1,1,1,4,1,0,1,5,13,0,1,6,4,0,2,7,8,0,1,7,7,21,6,27,23,5,27,0,5,0,0,6,11,0,6,14,114,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101634908650639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459783896612697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838524104561056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963864747064694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128902470329516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811739346497684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432102407981314,0.0,0.14089340464687913,0.0,0.30227689542338426,0.10677108486929668,0.0,0.0,0.136599677988992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546899809783633,0.0,0.23425309110386255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471836251264909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559927791657178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182623232546105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282844023601885,0.21112976972686465,0.07301643933643444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262968063947278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997627495909536,0.15152448403837335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119294005390587,0.0,0.0,0.11081940704971306,0.11526934469189586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43021993383330415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574506140311444,0.0,0.14756933911397965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885306329458345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408601004482738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576509073631813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014705175159614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988423851566135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624448319953173
mentalhealth,Throwaway_Account279,2019/03/08,"Could I have Primarily Obsessive OCD?/How do I tell my parents that I might have Primarily Obsessive OCD? As  the title says. I think I might have Primarily Obsessive OCD, but the  only people that I told this to irl is my sisters. I want to tell my  parents that I might have Primarily Obsessive OCD, but I don't know how  to go about it.

Every time I say to  myself that I'm going to talk to them about it, I end up chickening out  even though they are quite understanding. I just don't know how to go  about it and I'm kind of scared of going to see a therapist.

I  first started to think that I might've had Primarily Obsessive OCD  around late 2018. And the reasons why I think I might have it is because  of the intrusive thoughts/obsessions that I've had for a long time.

Growing  up I also used to pick at my fingers/have dermitillomania and I would  only do this to distract myself from my anxiety and intrusive thoughts.  The picking started around six or seven and I stopped it around 15 or  16.  I've been clean of picking at my fingers for 2 or 3 years now, but  when my anxiety starts acting up or I start getting intrusive thoughts I  become tempted to start picking again.

My  intrusive thoughts are getting more and more intense now and I don't  know if I'll be able to cope like this anymore. Sometimes they get so  bad that I start feeling guilty for having such terrible thoughts and  then I start crying, and I'm honestly tired of suffering in silence like  this but idk how I should go about this to my parents and I'm scared of  having to get mental help.These are the reasons why I've started  thinking that I might Primarily Obsessive OCD.

Anyways I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me or if anyone else on reddit can relate to my situation?

TL;DR  I think I might have OCD and I don't know how I should tell my parents  about this. Plus I'm afraid of seeing a therapist/getting mental help.",3.9770826491516162,5.51089704761905,5.164347746761544,81.25261904761908,71.91005291005291,8.282576172231344,30.23024995438789,8.841846274778883,2.467196205072068,1516,65,295,29,29,502,155,378,0.152,0.782,0.066,-0.9855,4,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,3,2,23,17,0,10,9,0,36,2,1,11,0,68,79,34,0,8,13,5,2,2,0,9,1,2,1,0,19,16,0,1,18,0,0,7,4,13,0,3,10,6,48,4,46,58,2,39,0,1,2,0,16,11,0,15,23,202,67,0,0.06645953051132013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494348404196103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314766253873568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045194759742106884,0.0,0.10168271786685104,0.0,0.0659099960586578,0.09294009798913452,0.06809564283280661,0.0,0.17748921718132413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05549093196050831,0.04051311294464043,0.07339932998962413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306252725207286,0.0,0.07300267356755026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055518409841516264,0.0,0.058863417799285174,0.0,0.0,0.043895893107966745,0.0,0.05599502083183435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03360393551198397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653044270206201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361180838099738,0.0,0.1888524137503244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909284478991865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920737395944469,0.14609767960858286,0.0,0.07496924519016056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493753921455467,0.0,0.0,0.058814593143057224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339511506140236,0.493521415519941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109093547000103,0.0,0.0,0.2951817747105817,0.0,0.0,0.04607467042126229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068789136409953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666293236962646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570257230566912,0.13307516800133815,0.0,0.10591928254620066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747032968398964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573017504149054,0.0,0.3763231820899094,0.0,0.0,0.05556314336824792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341765318272653,0.1742656769678307,0.0,0.0,0.15432927458301865,0.0,0.21292291816714054,0.065296151293905,0.211045774497568,0.07750617338907533,0.07638545373087659,0.0,0.06350492946417723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918671508351243,0.0,0.05739969600228088,0.0,0.0,0.03919955300263752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993877833552392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207252586576017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04721094365815808,0.0,0.0,0.04279775868799121
mentalhealth,king_wendy00,2019/03/08,"Life is starting to get good again. Last year had to be the worst and the most educational so far. I didn’t have a car for the first time in years and I’m so used to just going where I want. I live about an hour away from the next bigger city. I couldn’t go anywhere with out having to ask a friend or my mom. I also didn’t have a job for the first time in years so I didn’t have any money. I was honestly the most depressed I’d ever been I was trapped with myself. The person is been fighting for years. I couldn’t ignore my feelings anymore. 

The good news is I learned a lot about myself. After years of thinking I was the enemy I learned that in the end I will be the only who truly cares about me and I have to stick up for myself because I’m important. I deserve good things. I deserve good people. It was a great place to start in My journey of self love and as my life starts getting back to normal I can continue learn and grow. I’m so ready to get to know myself better and treat myself better!! I’m going back to therapy regularly and I couldn’t be any happier about it! 

",1.3503209109730818,3.0998099782608723,3.149254658385093,91.99137681159422,79.65217391304347,5.772256728778467,20.5175983436853,6.655083550727371,0.18280331262939908,845,22,189,8,21,282,117,230,0.08,0.71,0.21,0.9827,1,1,0,0,2,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,15,16,1,0,17,0,26,3,0,1,1,30,47,14,0,5,2,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,5,10,0,1,6,0,1,6,6,4,0,2,10,1,28,12,32,30,4,39,0,1,0,1,8,11,0,4,22,133,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954131492084506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622714583758363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832468236377698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153989618578798,0.0,0.1120968300482903,0.1834859456918912,0.0,0.07273101968442176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21104217814497167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164575280788885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027625893836218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567433819519714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792384013596906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032734385372561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20297214615677514,0.0,0.0,0.09217956196005676,0.0,0.1870055831561592,0.0,0.2034219682011747,0.400290403226612,0.0,0.13154105460147245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749753020596584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183979878391386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557033290665644,0.09725457842363952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16854610337625084,0.0,0.0,0.1053540038318653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143414292568068,0.10768304519631956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397358730411199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688884890014165,0.0,0.11689967528976784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074156838592093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271538565651967,0.104177965825377,0.12465484344849966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244676358984224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533473125264957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136442791989112,0.0,0.0792650810728631,0.07644981995651615,0.0,0.0,0.13914267783193854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304659692594666,0.0,0.0,0.07037285594299245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841626085162644
mentalhealth,emid11,2019/03/08,"My mother is scared to sleep I had a bad episode this morning in front of my parents. I don't tell anyone what I'm feeling, but this morning they saw all of it, every bad ounce of my being. 

Now my mother is scared to go to sleep because shes scares I'm going to kill myself. That's something that weighs me down heavily. I've only ever had one other person (my boyfriend) be like that. But, as much as I don't like that I'm causing so much strife, I have to admit that it keeps me alive knowing they care about me so much. ",1.9080257936507927,3.1886052589285754,3.3811904761904787,92.98603174603176,76.76785714285714,5.334920634920637,22.265873015873016,5.033348758259628,-0.004556746031746162,407,11,91,1,9,134,69,112,0.177,0.685,0.139,-0.7783,1,0,1,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,2,0,5,9,1,3,1,0,10,3,2,1,2,9,21,6,1,0,2,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,1,1,3,0,0,3,2,6,0,1,3,2,16,3,13,16,4,7,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,0,4,61,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926763176622387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848403297446155,0.10397886683850284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390911866165004,0.17522402380382116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15429178156567758,0.1437139333787665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624612827517765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387954718076145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161187926015798,0.1887122079550501,0.0,0.0937416929315768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666653399860129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761692663075236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155837335522023,0.12972739137792533,0.0,0.0,0.18939958086980896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148936545686615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5123157973085255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413895782951417,0.0,0.0,0.13131435442235478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149087100471394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChickenPie34,2019/03/08,"How to start socialising again after a major depression? Was depressed for years - still am - but am fighting my way through it with the help of therapy. 

I need help and advice getting back into some kind of social circle. I have 2 or 3 really close friends who have always been there for me - and this is great - but don't get to see them very often as we live in different cities/countries. Day to day I'm incredibly lonely. I don't have any meaningful interactions in the average day. I have acquaintances - tried getting closer to them but we just don't 'click' and I don't want to force it. 

Background info - I'm 24, female, final year of uni (currently doing dissertation). I used to have hobbies but gave up on them when the depression hit hardest. About to move away from this city so feel kind of stuck in limbo.",3.4671428571428606,5.6420130254777074,4.56701091901729,82.29326433121021,74.79617834394905,7.797816196542312,25.22702456778889,8.634040054169528,1.899519017288444,643,22,121,13,14,210,108,157,0.13699999999999998,0.7609999999999999,0.102,-0.4381,2,2,0,0,2,0,21.0,2,0,3,0,10,9,1,0,4,0,15,0,0,2,0,23,29,12,0,2,6,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,3,13,4,26,24,2,24,0,4,2,0,13,9,0,3,13,81,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755130940577686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415561119172267,0.0,0.0,0.10964138559378432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514801418583376,0.12397530363010845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119384898247097,0.0,0.41659942419928986,0.0,0.0,0.16845019935686925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152232851689321,0.0,0.0,0.17661870908205834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456528089272036,0.0,0.25270680939499235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777557635005602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21613706998331028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357908048419672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423683385062699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136112515126953,0.0,0.11954940975426105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328755479167176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847879893302425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435286654067047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411885844410782,0.0,0.12875784833822418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437964282446334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946404424498317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392502634877088,0.0,0.13303097626929372,0.09509716016615798,0.12797623530267868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076526389181344
mentalhealth,Adobeeditingsoftware,2019/03/08,"Its not a lie - I told my friends i tried to drop out of school at 12 cause i didnt like school.

- I told the same friend at 12 a pedaphile followed me onto a bus ( which is 100% true) luckily, i got off the bus early & he didn't follow me. There's a lot more to it than that. I told my friend I got taken out of school because of that.

- I actually dont remember the exact reason why I was taken out but I think it  was a combination of - i was being bullied, i almost got hit by a car at 12 (the car swerved & missed me), i would barely turned up to school cause i was horribly depressed even at 12.

- As I said, I don't remember why but I remember never going back to that school after that. My dad agreed to transfere me schools.

- I feel like people think I'm a weird liar. Its such a bizzare story. This school was in really rough area and what made it worst was - I found out my best friend from that school was raped at 13. I feel like im fucked in the head. 
",-0.0015415019762876625,1.9323859758454096,2.102733860342557,96.74564229249012,85.3768115942029,5.309530083443127,17.621651295564337,6.574015621080383,-0.3006888888888897,735,17,178,8,22,246,109,207,0.226,0.679,0.095,-0.9866,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,4,16,3,0,13,0,14,3,1,4,3,27,37,4,0,1,3,1,3,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,13,5,0,0,9,0,0,5,6,7,0,0,20,4,28,9,28,14,5,25,0,2,0,2,10,15,1,2,7,110,41,9,0.0,0.0,0.0830582236459789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522859387128161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444027363468188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544681139510633,0.0,0.051884228079823735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932107187581391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748694420804254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330789048177082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975205833516658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056216478178150106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607160140302762,0.12160980078040062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332225107562003,0.2630330463005032,0.07868579912018847,0.0,0.0,0.04837180357794911,0.0,0.2042184485182501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735071747065253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919368816137353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474605815237075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723602147951832,0.0,0.08053618541195683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564456126501247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059006789039046985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054525707297970016,0.08751056433027399,0.0,0.0,0.2892500546060999,0.0,0.0809621616407595,0.0,0.0,0.6891129697891897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907422754406776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439879835213981,0.0,0.05778628846614201,0.09257874098508054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360288258468646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060461988491744174,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fennybeans,2019/03/08,"I'm worried I may be showing early signs of schizophrenia. 15 F here. I recently read a post about schizophrenia and it reminded me of some things I do, but milder. I looked at early signs and I do seem to meet a few.

Sensations on skin of crawling and light pain, like a needle or bug bite. It feels completely real.

Hearing people say something quietly (usually unclear like maybe a giggle or grunting, sometimes my name but it's never clear)

Arm flapping (did this when I was younger too, I had to to imagine things)

Social anxiety

OCD

disorganized speech occasionally

Minor visual hallucinations of patches of light and faces in the dark, had this for years

Feeling presences when I'm alone

Thinking someone's trying to kill me, people I know and strangers

Thinking someone is reading my mind

Bad memory

Excessive movement (pen clicking, blinking, squeezing hands in fists)

Pacing a lot, I get the urge to do so at night

Trouble sleeping

Please help me. I'm really scared right now, especially because my parents don't believe mental illness exists (they think it's demons or punishments from God) and they wouldn't listen to me because of my past hypochondria.",6.607999999999998,8.349153323809528,6.3900000000000015,74.18500000000002,65.76190476190476,8.457142857142857,36.38095238095238,8.841846274778883,3.4617523809523814,938,47,147,15,15,294,143,210,0.171,0.736,0.093,-0.9628,1,1,1,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,2,0,7,9,2,1,7,0,12,7,5,0,2,31,26,14,1,1,5,1,5,2,0,2,2,5,0,0,8,6,0,0,8,3,0,1,3,6,0,0,4,14,19,3,20,19,3,19,1,0,2,0,10,6,0,8,13,87,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659510621144908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827945017073876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818188435941718,0.17256570974410587,0.0,0.0,0.15946966994012102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840437856459773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313605053614686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394999484281277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595284267995603,0.0,0.09487280090832716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15659555202558606,0.0,0.07778793068824573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830080841859627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188598596088674,0.0,0.0,0.12033417750916225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219823615357147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426413184314845,0.0,0.14291734490576946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109166125475638,0.0,0.0,0.13282783333318915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506109561971927,0.0,0.1571659419447149,0.0,0.13511811385317718,0.1962551782514341,0.0,0.0,0.1553709096048701,0.0,0.0,0.13555837006349375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28316114941387105,0.1611060923523299,0.09067560342901736,0.0,0.13975591717930774,0.0,0.0,0.12087632636601454,0.0,0.11256009527477298,0.14170850587837286,0.0,0.0,0.12885476788850844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14164449149374472,0.1442845208110754,0.23985661439943,0.10896615562120987,0.13998892559970127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18806879145395086,0.2720837167796035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609791117346532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558888149595087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374304718953745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114858210898368
mentalhealth,watersideway,2019/03/08,"Cross post. Please help me Where to start...

1.) I think I'm depressed. I go through the motions but that's it. I have barely any retained memories and I have made little impact on other people's lives. I dont take pictures of myself. When I'm gone, I'm gone 

2.) I make zero attachment. I have no close friends. I have some friends but no-one I can call up and have the standard womanhood connection with or even have a meaningful chat with

3.) I'm angry with my father for letting me be abused by a step parent. Emotionally and physically till I got big enough to defend myself

4.) I was sexually abused when my father left me behind in our country to find a better life in a western country. Sickeningly I grew to enjoy it as it was the only attention I got. I don't enjoy sex as an adult

5.) I feel I have no real family I have 3 half siblings and have a  half arsed father that raised (ish)  me after my mother's death (I was 4 I don't remember her. I don't know her. She was 27). I have family on my mothers side that I've had no contact with for over 20 years. I don't know why. I don't know how to start fixing this

6.) I  miss my grandma. She helped raise me but I haven't really spoken with her since moving to a different country . I pay for Skype calls. subscription to my country and I haven't called once. I cry about it sometimes. I know she loves me a lot 

7.) I have been paid for sex a lot by the same guy in my teens. I subscribed to a sugar baby website and that is how I paid for myself until I was 19. Started at 16. He was in his 50s

8.) I have alcohol issues. I'm too young to be an alcoholic. I've quit for over a year. I still struggle 

9.) I have a  long term boyfriend (6+ years) that I think I love but I'm too self destructive to have him for the rest of my life. I want to but I don't think I deserve it. I haven't told him any of this. I don't want to. I feel He'll hate me 

10.) I have a lot of death anxiety. My life hasn't been  and isn't worth shit 

These are my innermost thoughts. I've never told anyone ",-0.5817922553636805,1.443254378684809,2.193236961451248,94.4433457613815,89.11337868480726,5.297069597069598,18.45809349380778,6.759486899279683,0.04459459270887845,1555,44,366,21,52,541,208,441,0.141,0.742,0.117,-0.8779,2,1,2,0,2,0,64.0,1,0,0,2,10,14,3,2,19,0,43,11,1,4,1,48,81,21,2,2,6,6,2,0,2,1,5,0,0,3,14,13,3,1,14,1,4,8,17,7,0,3,19,3,75,7,48,58,8,41,0,2,0,4,35,16,1,5,16,235,89,1,0.0,0.2289574459553776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20651447157552646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140962261226194,0.0,0.07391392086892133,0.0,0.0,0.0675588457156906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545240568759864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959790091071951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613236841991801,0.0,0.0,0.08321853531558229,0.0,0.0,0.10094717887121167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323774473405855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868432669000516,0.0,0.0998341332707427,0.0,0.06381649974976936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216919146201932,0.0,0.0977077986278668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830879257831205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929651302793062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054911287419066535,0.0,0.15455144103790067,0.0,0.0,0.0956688421535336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539209870773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295244977305222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084602088278656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21239897115775694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049777498431812,0.09880034292582404,0.20473637254934413,0.0,0.0968384727489596,0.08531709779899158,0.08550552689211595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464282241980542,0.1744063740182007,0.09142403833805313,0.0644945002094336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269160985419684,0.0,0.0,0.07451918482454177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289698702931126,0.0,0.07348374986080895,0.0,0.0,0.10728490935143692,0.0,0.0,0.06698403848800029,0.0,0.0,0.1060595810170648,0.0,0.0,0.0925351082056078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027671037573686,0.0,0.1099745421947962,0.06189715006888046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945145525299883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100795575664141,0.0,0.09917888766655833,0.07992493844749192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555950231540633,0.0,0.20516408160842106,0.0,0.07716073710150244,0.0,0.0,0.1010080457466084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264610278902822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573029582306014,0.0,0.07670536844009193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464881465297087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139777818499322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718438646197009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866600469810596
mentalhealth,mrscolonelbrandon,2019/03/08,"Is thinking about suicide, but not in terms of making a plan still considered ‘suicidal thoughts’? I have an appointment with a mental health professional in a few weeks but this question is something I’ve been thinking about a lot. 

I think about suicide fairly frequently. Not in terms of making a plan, but more so the consequences if I did go through with it. I wouldn’t consider myself suicidal, although I do believe I’m very depressed. 

Sometimes I think about the different ways it would be possible to accomplish, but there isn’t a desire to act on them. 

Would those still be considered ‘suicidal thoughts’? Or no since I’m not actually thinking of harming myself?",7.1523347107438,8.483669553719011,6.887262396694214,72.62362086776861,64.20661157024793,10.67809917355372,39.09194214876033,10.686352973137794,4.623073553719008,540,29,88,14,8,170,72,121,0.21600000000000005,0.7290000000000001,0.055,-0.9754,1,0,1,0,0,2,12.0,0,0,1,3,8,2,0,0,9,0,12,1,0,2,0,26,24,8,5,5,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,8,0,0,2,6,2,0,0,4,0,9,0,16,15,5,13,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,4,6,68,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.12291629878165068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191090987543162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848696461311938,0.0,0.0,0.13159872353514931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158451987291402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388687622307374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708451723671986,0.0,0.0,0.16815514801908613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269354811610503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199809614208347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110116745905338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041933018428796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696819649554757,0.12457513589761075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20117955990714206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6888850169888738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035422307888913,0.0,0.1999922868154198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392808518193,0.0,0.09997915866508976,0.1010354664211484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895311303695927,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Balkan_,2019/03/08,"Do I have depression or am I suggesting myself? It's been 2 months since my boyfriend of 2 years left me, at the start it was devastating, but my friends helped me a lot with boosting my self steem and everything, but it's stopped working, I'm afraid of this thing going further, I've had self-harming dreams, my apathy levels are increasing, I'm pushing away new people because I have a weird feeling of not being worth it, I try to act cool about my sadness by just being myself in front of everyone like if nothing has ever happened, but when I'm all alone, it all rises up, thinking by myself, blaming myself for what's happened, I'm trying to meet new people, I think getting in a better relationship will do the case, but I'm scared, everyone gets bored of me, Jeremi, if you're reading this somehow, please explain me what the fuck went wrong, I hate and love you, it's too late and I won't ask you for a second chance, you've ruined my life.",12.97064912280702,6.4438524157894745,11.913684210526315,66.04912280701754,59.05263157894736,14.56140350877193,46.403508771929815,10.125756701596842,4.717666666666667,749,28,147,9,6,244,120,190,0.223,0.624,0.153,-0.9393,0,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,2,7,15,2,2,7,1,14,3,0,0,3,23,34,11,0,2,9,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,11,4,0,1,4,2,1,7,2,10,0,1,4,2,23,5,18,26,4,24,0,3,0,2,11,8,1,5,10,93,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084533109144535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361593488983682,0.0,0.13683921103461635,0.0,0.0,0.08878444954306022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12881205088468664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254446860724901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174514506494125,0.0,0.2783419883558337,0.13089723316788185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364299359046625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252573803110044,0.13464737975852098,0.15218804698957358,0.0,0.08277397800861397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25758855295615285,0.0,0.0,0.14379527145975274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762344347257404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429503148677865,0.0,0.1582448047629654,0.0,0.10287407680943972,0.07115527856034384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382302054342845,0.13145120107429875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625324736851085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813316280593609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975126474861385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194519521713825,0.0,0.0,0.15987557093154334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568541351564462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636929711925854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581705378939666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038810836728703,0.0,0.0,0.12047987596618233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308898818081788,0.0,0.0,0.12176657729493592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676073045003043,0.186648151282806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19776814660168449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501530083082186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060320223731772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924103671393566,0.0,0.09379124857628852
mentalhealth,nicolas1324,2019/03/08,"Sometimes I start feeling vert strange almost like a high but a high I've never experience So like the title says sometimes I feel very strange, I dont know if this is the right place to share this but I'm concerned about it.

The feeling is like being a bit drunk but really sober at the same time. I feel really hot and as if I wasnt really there. I also feel very focused on stuff and I get these brain fogs or whatever. It lasts about 15 minutes.

Im a guy with adhd and Im pretty anxious but im not really sure when I am as im not really sure what anxiety is.

I hope someone can help me clear things up and maybe its not something that anyone else experiences? Thanks",0.1909219858156064,2.5236640141843982,2.4451418439716335,91.4841666666667,89.70921985815603,5.686524822695036,19.180851063829788,7.1686216300943375,0.4977829787234045,530,16,114,9,18,179,88,141,0.112,0.6559999999999999,0.233,0.9619,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,8,0,8,2,1,0,4,28,19,16,0,3,10,0,6,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,10,5,1,0,6,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,7,10,8,9,17,2,12,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,5,8,65,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357065127358772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129229648986254,0.0,0.0,0.0888799280810337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850230491745795,0.12555841619215255,0.0,0.07771281774713971,0.11387774266084567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133788371027555,0.0,0.0,0.12407082521073352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025717247521312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928445775068832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174356975440468,0.0,0.0,0.2809827590600074,0.07939960868629277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580669188665633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100476956880677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449589746013166,0.2348544861562476,0.0,0.11038872453797573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4802081659290133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610805378644487,0.09059526917992923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16289457163640186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165671423302802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571928320542706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611935684514525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307100240185942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35600089754442704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491435193339652,0.0,0.08838429176128758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416994955540484,0.08556226313615567,0.21984384454099126,0.0,0.07866662370851976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723058557389014,0.0,0.0,0.20949935778578935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232428829664494,0.0,0.0,0.07383756603297824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480758313346717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18340698276225853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jraceing5,2019/03/08,"I need help everything feels off I am very depressed and a bit suicidal recently been not eating that much these past few days (I am fine I have been eating enough but not as much as I used too) I was walking home from school today at waiting at a light to cross I stared at the road then it looked like it was slowly getting sucked in I looked away every thing seems off it looked like a fish eyed lens and I got back home and everything seems a bit farther away and I feel a bit taller and I feel very paranoid this just happened I just felt like my right hand is bigger then my left I feel very weird I feel paranoid af

I think its alice in wonderland syndrome ",0.1866176470588244,2.5893138382352947,1.1178823529411763,99.15947058823532,94.44117647058823,4.1905882352941175,17.094117647058823,5.985473137389443,-0.4565694117647055,526,14,115,5,20,162,82,136,0.125,0.752,0.124,-0.0297,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,6,0,8,4,2,1,0,22,27,10,1,1,5,0,7,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,8,5,2,1,9,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,6,13,17,4,13,21,7,24,0,1,5,0,1,15,1,2,10,70,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22812697573512425,0.09335253695969437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976266850782472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829583405685205,0.0,0.10456548470058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484541453205143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544326207532774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228849485360887,0.0,0.21822100338718167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069287173766352,0.0,0.11656732169751068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342882029256895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970982382831915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735756426388766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137485137433806,0.0,0.24355714698029896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319063025262483,0.0,0.0,0.17793626237864554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058475132211678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784924961978576,0.09001986981126409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589429559908895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987225928050227,0.0,0.0,0.1036787466854166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228677964027982,0.0,0.221044124035804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279677602058712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065572959896332,0.07779107676221382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507723394783005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485447494985208,0.0,0.3005141854546132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_theendisnear,2019/03/08,"Distressed I was supposed to be called back somewhere around Christmas from the mental health center of my region, in Canada, I'm trying to get evaluated in the public health system but I think they are trying to discourage me from getting services by making me go through loops because of my substance  abuse profile and probably also the fact that I did mention that stimulants help me ( I was diagnosed with ADD as a child but they said its been too long). Lately I have been more anxious and stressed, my drug plugs stopped their thing and I began drinking a lot instead, I'm drunk almost every day. I did stop using in the past, as long as a year, but life was still too damn depressive. I feel like I have underlying problems and that I will never ""recover"" from addiction because its just another consequence of my complete inability to cope with life. 

I decided to use credit and consult in the private for a couple sessions because I feel like the universe is about to collapse on me with all those culminating problems and negativity. I saw a psychiatrist but I think his psychoanalyst approach is gonna take too much time. 

I had several occasions to speak with social workers and they would always ask me to tell my story before leaving me to my fate because I'm just another substance abuser and because I'm not suicidal so I'm not a priority. The thing with this system is that not being a priority basically means that your'e nothing. I'm so tired of having to repeat myself and going through all this for nothing that I lost all hope of becoming a functional individual and I lost confidence in all those so-called professionals too.",8.639938524590164,8.287082393442628,8.789948770491804,65.99541495901643,61.13114754098361,11.428278688524593,40.04610655737704,10.820120047756994,4.5578565573770495,1330,64,216,29,16,438,168,305,0.184,0.7240000000000001,0.093,-0.986,0,0,2,0,2,0,20.0,0,0,4,3,14,13,1,2,15,0,19,10,0,4,6,51,46,20,1,4,9,0,2,2,0,3,8,2,0,1,14,17,2,3,6,2,1,3,5,9,0,0,13,5,35,4,40,28,7,28,0,4,1,0,16,9,1,3,16,161,49,6,0.0,0.24091279653341785,0.0,0.11082985415591064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180281003554274,0.0,0.0,0.08130146218368642,0.08459342256337637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21320922951070964,0.0,0.1148525099680878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050340246642953,0.09504304938001122,0.0,0.0,0.07817410806929949,0.0,0.3098701958540034,0.11228100289660088,0.08650942533159242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381132980361957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659381616335108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249038660670403,0.0,0.06556551318555973,0.0,0.08756391382090818,0.10318783295591423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995929937877382,0.11789912119910027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856571456047785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280975537764804,0.14525898979402174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623153079171972,0.0,0.1155571224877816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21613027764498968,0.0,0.0,0.06814390516464777,0.0,0.0,0.10097628235417933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468254597885745,0.1076485536331838,0.0,0.0,0.14361798938126127,0.09933676546745387,0.0,0.0,0.1799406480683551,0.0,0.0,0.22195870973838627,0.08643194573936637,0.0,0.0,0.06786217561803133,0.0,0.0,0.11074298695601824,0.0,0.0,0.10245440613846417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473547126713262,0.0,0.07841031391907581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510061503504605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705074424158618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961206290842057,0.19455934588886456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670669416450862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148525099680878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363466250329273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118979874245141,0.16999298119904924,0.1164569117383628,0.0,0.0,0.11120500693377112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643942614371155,0.0,0.08885968933308201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350834144935958,0.13028565135325887,0.0,0.0,0.05928167791200147,0.1168489596952334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804772037568447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561183280575368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221989768002311,0.0,0.0,0.06546892550509198
mentalhealth,PhilRizzutosHead,2019/03/08,"I'm drowning. I have no idea what to do.  I have no insurance, no expendable income. I am confused, lost, and have nowhere to turn.   
I've struggled with drugs and alcohol for many years (10+) and have managed to kick a few but I am not making any progress as far as my metal health goes. I was homeless off and on for about 7 years and only recently fell on some good fortune due to a friend taking me in. Since then I've able to secure a sign spinning job that luckily allows me to pay my half of rent (and only just). I have no money left over at the end of the month for any kind of medical care. Unfortunately I  live in the U.S. and really have no access to public assistance, at least in any avenue I have yet sourced. I'm really not sure what I'm looking for here. I suppose help/support/an idea of where to turn? I'm getting so desperate...",2.956540659340657,4.042325234285716,4.6291428571428614,85.85039560439563,73.8,7.898901098901099,26.60439560439561,8.384062270229773,1.6619978021978017,656,23,141,11,13,222,107,175,0.14300000000000002,0.747,0.11,0.2597,3,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,6,9,0,2,6,0,11,4,0,2,1,20,23,12,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,3,8,1,1,2,0,3,1,7,3,0,1,2,1,13,6,29,21,3,21,0,1,1,0,2,12,0,2,8,87,16,3,0.15318671578729626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371001212151184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312516659195028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618406610457294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776479567497642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567796196140872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835167662118674,0.0,0.08003373645033024,0.0,0.0,0.1284857493078807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628303155481224,0.0,0.0,0.10267782655484088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458583123454538,0.0,0.0,0.15201417832088282,0.0,0.0,0.15952039148553404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16643781492117854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352666765509168,0.0,0.12863826020109445,0.0,0.16722139599857858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225332230236278,0.15530728620254458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431950009583095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227217505490262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330108004280476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962706654067592,0.0,0.15125340125686276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671763428709376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601440157427411,0.0,0.0,0.1738344697307119,0.1443766667392117,0.0,0.11517734595004335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33324631620758904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972944450865147
mentalhealth,iamthrowaway000,2019/03/08,"I think I'm losing what makes me human. Throwaway because reasons. 

I recently went on some antidepressants and was told that it would take some time to take effect, 4-6 weeks. Understandable, I have to build up a therapeutic level of hormones.

I felt better immediately. Maybe I just did it out of sheer will, but somebody told me that antidepressants are horrible and turn people into monsters so maybe I wanted to prove them wrong or something, so I fooled myself into making the medicine work instantly? 

Anyway, I feel great. Then the medicine hits that 4 week mark, where it's supposed to kick in for real. I'm losing control. I put in my two weeks at my job. I feel like I have a loose grip on reality.

I attempted suicide a little bit ago. I keep on thinking about how the pills slipped through my throat, how it felt, and how easy it was. Now life doesn't even seem like a valuable thing at all. Not just for me, but for everybody. And when I went to the emergency room after the fact, I made a scene in the waiting room. It's so not like me to make a scene. I didn't feel like I was controlling my actions. I feel like that's an essential part of being human, being able to control your actions and choose how to respond to your environment, and to value life. 

I was watching The Good Doctor and there was this doctor and her patient asked to see her wife. When the doctor isn't able to find the patient's wife on the list, she says that her wife is probably in the waiting room. She goes into the waiting room and isn't able to find her. Upon confirming that the person was in fact on the bus during the accident, she alerts some ambulance drivers and says they have to go back. For some reason my brain thought that it was a bit much to try to go back and find her, like it wasn't worth the gas or something. Life is sacred, I know, but for some reason it felt like such a waste. She wasn't even suicidal or anything. 

I call up the suicide hotline and start just talking at them, not really thinking about what I'm saying and it's almost like I'm acting like a person. Like this whole thing is just one really bad trip and I can't control my actions. And my mood keeps going back and forth so much. I called the triage line for my doctors office and a nurse spoke with me and said I need to wait until the 6 week mark and the mood swings should stop, and that it's gradual and it doesn't instantly feel better but that I will look back and be like ""wow a couple months ago this would have super set me off."" He also said that maybe I should take another pill on top of this anti depressant to take the edge off, that would work in the mean time while I wait for it to kick in??? I'm very hesitant to even continue taking this medication, let alone stack it. He talked with me for an hour and convinced me to get an appointment. 

I had cancelled the appointment and not 20 minutes later this same nurse calls and he talks with me for an hour. I promised him that I would call back if I'm not feeling better but jesus, I feel like he wasted so much time on just me, like it was a waste of resources or something. 

My friend told me that this mood swing thing is normal, but I honestly just want to smoke some weed and destress that way. This antidepressant thing is a trip. Will I be able to get back to my real self if I stop taking these, or am I permanently damaged?",4.0250963426607775,5.055478341678941,4.663841126656852,86.82042541114386,71.17967599410898,7.661278841433481,25.633314923907708,7.9370924344782425,1.276206897398135,2650,78,555,34,48,848,275,679,0.115,0.741,0.14400000000000002,0.9713,1,1,4,0,0,2,68.0,0,2,3,15,34,35,0,0,40,0,43,12,2,16,4,128,106,54,3,12,24,3,11,13,1,9,10,6,4,5,44,33,0,13,27,0,1,12,13,7,0,2,26,20,72,25,72,65,15,79,1,4,3,0,46,34,0,15,44,364,116,7,0.20412037468515545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047019811986554,0.0,0.0510992675300372,0.052851787172432656,0.0,0.040808747472264664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350950261017896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04199341904570094,0.0,0.0477062490263689,0.0,0.0,0.23543395280113655,0.04260799668708956,0.031107471457812445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539591280703772,0.11142329122132344,0.0,0.0,0.05696646120240002,0.2084297245795883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22893835691715625,0.0,0.056463828039387175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043952144903952335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089258528111144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111468678083192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806164405007171,0.1458236364602544,0.14699067753528616,0.0,0.13992174338238836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039425723784817256,0.0,0.05332223550760781,0.0,0.08700473466709079,0.042801621465081575,0.0,0.0562608584246523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050872607326893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05063949389612783,0.09071578389242962,0.0,0.0,0.028044804929497832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218172817351773,0.10813219289757672,0.3240994397965589,0.05114555994525834,0.0,0.0,0.042852426426377266,0.11417924365146727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048285908487819766,0.10218895134227016,0.0,0.15379976401074955,0.055586731992616815,0.0,0.05140745073568442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04073173391293081,0.0,0.11253897133868808,0.03783816785729162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04999865708307796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034579312140869865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055260618599679914,0.0,0.035377841663661695,0.0891150189425985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05501907192071733,0.0,0.0,0.051299338746092826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616683701440805,0.06538236941211134,0.15740230603255256,0.050386061184026235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708260971052612,0.12174353605618032,0.0,0.0,0.04066437776751732,0.04645588072205906,0.05323551694904784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178563776388992,0.0,0.0,0.03611936295098895,0.0,0.0,0.08532688657106861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745591987110567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302096780037597,0.12304816892216755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356085069492523,0.09809407055906864,0.0,0.04051219425822676,0.0892681739786136,0.0,0.0,0.14628432404861344,0.0,0.03464608389948192,0.05550608825408177,0.0498489865542304,0.053124127184723965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04210517158255984,0.06019774278292628,0.040505313100924034,0.16373305222123274,0.0,0.0,0.09461081616383216,0.0,0.056973277194287526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430103191636123,0.0,0.0,0.1450012576766782,0.05579339659124362,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotoriousFarts,2019/03/08,"To everyone dealing with social anxiety, how do you cope? I'm struggling. And I hate that I'm struggling. My social anxiety has been so ridiculously insane this past year. I feel it has been this way because I have been forced to go out into social situations due to my career (where normally I wouldn't be in those situations). It has reached the point where my face goes so red every time I have to speak with some, and I become stiff. I have a hard time initiating conversations, I get so into my head and nervous that it becomes too late to initiate. Whenever I have a meeting or an interview I'm SO nervous for days prior. And I feel like people notice my anxious energy. As a child, I was a pretty huge gamer (and still am frankly) and spent my days at home. That might explain why I'm like this. And holy hell, I'm SO awkward, it's terrible. So my question is, how do you cope if you can? How can you just let loose and stop worrying about speaking with people?",3.1892187499999984,4.977375317708333,4.638958333333331,83.17687500000002,74.46875,7.9250000000000025,27.104166666666664,8.660442795831766,2.047441666666666,759,29,150,15,16,253,111,192,0.231,0.7020000000000001,0.067,-0.985,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,4,0,0,15,11,3,5,6,0,21,3,2,3,0,30,33,20,0,3,3,0,3,2,0,2,1,2,1,1,11,14,0,2,4,0,1,1,1,9,0,0,5,6,22,2,16,24,1,22,1,0,1,0,16,9,1,5,13,101,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20405496483839275,0.15066983864955402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130095271683804,0.2945927885170556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202489166999194,0.1374983407999751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236975413980324,0.12744049746827055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487149091173012,0.09527936551296798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968018203664349,0.0,0.07579709405078959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947308630057242,0.1316750019403375,0.13687582553868702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337807187618546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044687054166772,0.0,0.0,0.13637959037177233,0.0,0.13031543175772575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414842128584788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067402347148455,0.0,0.15184232755370242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273165033986795,0.18492356321675832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607750872179102,0.0,0.0,0.13568496803718266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940462658068132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299826340793484,0.0,0.4078609483295753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065092428534114,0.11150307057257186,0.0,0.27885400992014425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553793031354507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105862687993302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203454417301417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544344006999295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588573680412108
mentalhealth,dwightschrutefanacct,2019/03/08,"How do I find a psychiatric hospital that has private rooms? I stayed in a psychiatric hospital in Missouri because I was extremely suicidal. I’m not quite back to that place, but I’m in bad shape with my PTSD right now and really need help. I want to go back, I actually liked the hospital that I was in, but I didn’t like that I had to share a room with somebody. Due to my PTSD, trusting a roommate was a huge issue for me. I couldn’t handle it very well and was trying to get out every day. I don’t have any money, I don’t have insurance, but I need to find somewhere to go, preferably without shared rooms. I need my own space to heal. If I can’t have that, I’m likely better off just taking my pills on time 3x a day and locking myself in my walk-in closet with the light turned off.

If any of you know how to find one, or are aware of one in Missouri, I’d greatly appreciate it.",4.398770053475936,4.091588556149734,5.742673796791447,84.16930481283424,69.85561497326205,9.15294117647059,28.764705882352942,8.841846274778883,1.938576470588236,688,22,154,11,11,233,103,187,0.054000000000000006,0.769,0.17600000000000002,0.9712,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,7,10,0,0,8,0,16,2,0,2,0,28,29,11,1,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,7,7,0,0,5,0,1,2,7,1,1,2,6,1,22,9,26,22,1,28,0,0,0,0,4,18,0,3,10,99,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.14243301442482953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985115816906288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22446390549431344,0.12186803000862735,0.08897405557351397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908713894085586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18826042942918245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297509949777374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002062651903838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625652814295837,0.0,0.16590149642832144,0.0,0.0,0.1609181495473639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783192585537112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234122672824835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021417091805545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392170841493127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246758825416308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19780853254422628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249403922313054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34123193322471856,0.0,0.0,0.1552432760029601,0.0,0.0,0.0935038159159064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464651286237745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557078218893125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596533096658339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974152791581296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510872254908138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990952478557352,0.15875934460583568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042984211685805,0.08608924256399259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123290579871075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069737603694318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beepboop33,2019/03/08,"How to get accommodations at work on disability? I have a mental disorder and it’s severe enough for it to count as a disability. I’m currently trying to get a job, but I’m scared as I have no idea about how to go about asking for accommodations such as doing solo work whenever I get hostile/aggressive.

Does anyone have advice or experience doing the same?",5.129130434782611,6.59717698550725,7.577507246376815,65.31495652173913,69.0,10.73739130434783,28.29275362318841,10.793553405168565,3.466417971014492,288,10,50,9,5,104,45,69,0.162,0.838,0.0,-0.8645,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,4,0,5,0,0,2,0,7,12,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,13,12,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,36,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23469813188253105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16793730500303622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22453302296230854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752635880178095,0.0,0.21018046392803896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481669885148525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23493913948543255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764476239689371,0.0,0.13649809326543044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27113053754349065,0.0,0.0,0.23833855894841424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420418713008547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24045902210673065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713315852781026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306438067383192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34970335429595945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,parrythebeardie,2019/03/08,"I was prescribed an antipsychotic for insomnia If you have a better subreddit for me to go to please let me know. I just dont know where to go.

To begin I have been diagnosed with MDD and generalized anxiety disorder. However im almost certain i have a panic disorder and social anxiety disorder and recently ive discovered that i have almost every symptom for Borderline Personality disorder.

My friend had a horrible experience with antipsychotics and im just terrified. I was prescribed 50 - 100 mg of Seroquel for my severe insomnia. Should i be concerned? My doctor isnt that great. I do have mild psychosis (i constantly hear quiet mumbling in the back of my mind) so maybe thats why he considered this first? 

I already take Viibryd 20 mg and I just started Klonopin bc Ativan hardly did anything for me. Are these meds horrible to take with Seroquel?",3.6911111111111135,6.723309707006372,5.474087048832273,71.35137119603682,79.31847133757961,9.603538570417554,32.926043878273184,9.725611199111238,4.431126256192499,692,38,108,24,18,235,97,157,0.208,0.731,0.061,-0.9734,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,2,6,5,0,1,5,0,18,5,0,0,1,20,27,7,0,2,4,0,1,0,1,1,5,2,0,1,5,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,5,3,20,4,16,19,0,10,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,6,76,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24975905886651104,0.0,0.13762111371393215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19080634880904224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026260974609478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589465974613297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029628339643023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476772262501016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657851014400284,0.0,0.0,0.5717160492805324,0.12764645877828387,0.0,0.0,0.14615975154661945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507395652424498,0.0,0.0,0.121990777653535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607866896972096,0.0,0.0,0.09635100602800957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175167732498728,0.0,0.0,0.13749374237999912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171609274988216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055777250843693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694174335628175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370752346140561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752491325814905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252884374863639,0.0,0.13852522721243934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259220319273551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632087568537175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088923791759413,0.0,0.1368946551081418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123136551946811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408873428349922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712662726959126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882707182856791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962193754274598,0.18753351825243444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253180901785773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uncomfortablecandy,2019/03/08,"The small steps become a little bigger A throwaway for privacy, I'm on mobile, sorry for fornatting issues.

About 2 years ago I fully admitted to myself I wanted to get better. It was a slow process but I finally feel like it gets easier at times.

I haven't hurt myself for about 1,5 year. I can eat proper meals without panicking (which my boyfriend helps me with, I don't eat when I'm stressed/depressed and he keeps me on track.) It's gotten better.

Today I was triggered by a song. I longed to go back to the twisted comfort of nothingness, but I didn't. I felt terrible, but I am able to feel again and nothing is going to steal it from me.",2.3194358974358984,4.354251738461542,3.9750000000000014,85.85916666666667,77.76923076923076,6.7948717948717965,23.91025641025641,7.793537801064563,1.3329487179487185,506,17,99,8,12,169,89,130,0.042,0.7240000000000001,0.235,0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,2,18.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,6,0,8,3,0,1,0,14,21,6,0,1,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,3,1,4,1,0,3,5,3,0,0,5,4,17,4,19,16,0,20,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,12,64,22,0,0.1839789946415393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308627809239673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414684905337438,0.0,0.0,0.20319034508607445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254289397320529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584608384976961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765128838493182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18605061528205868,0.131434630532657,0.17664868661499894,0.2015399958075938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19224286249446149,0.0,0.20911900490476412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331724199745887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19695331890784185,0.0,0.0,0.1920262711623371,0.0,0.1635289837615814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988284364387987,0.184395285646936,0.0,0.1628156207764324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17653280729948168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20594942191906035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727963129536452,0.0,0.17439057482098147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851557777096504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734918552870982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23695288112174245
mentalhealth,throwaway10293703,2019/03/08,"Every time I start feeling better in myself I always get set back by my therapist. So to start with a little background I suffer with social anxiety and panic attacks, I haven’t been to school in months. I self harmed for 3 years and stopped sometime last year. I’m 15 and I was put on sertraline about 3 months ago. 

Anyway I’ve suffered with anxiety for years now but over the past 2 it’s gotten worse to the point I struggle to leave the house and have no motivation to do simple tasks like brushing my teeth. Not too long before Christmas I finally got taken on by my local mental health service after trying since I was 11. During the time between visits with my therapist I feel reasonably good in myself, and I even manage to go to a couple of small shops sometimes with my mum and sister at the less busy times. I feel quite happy despite the anxiety during the week break between appointments but whenever I meet up with my therapist again I usually end up breaking down into tears due to what she says, these are things such as if I don’t shower then my mum will get arrested for neglect which doesn’t have anything to do with the situation and that the reason I’m crying is because I want them to feel bad for me so that I don’t have to appointments (which isn’t true) but back to the point the way that she speaks and makes points that aren’t true about me just makes me feel like crap to be honest and it completely sets me back to where I was before.",8.656899367755532,6.421494558219184,8.364520547945208,75.09955216016861,62.321917808219176,11.313382507903054,34.447839831401474,9.661875296680813,3.0196445732349844,1169,35,227,17,13,376,166,292,0.162,0.736,0.102,-0.9303,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,3,15,17,2,2,13,0,19,3,2,5,2,38,37,17,0,2,6,3,5,2,0,1,1,2,1,1,11,17,0,2,8,1,1,3,8,9,0,0,7,8,34,8,45,28,1,53,0,3,0,0,12,18,1,1,29,152,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759192628292485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222048551667169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267754477359557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131483166524266,0.0,0.0,0.11241426284982634,0.0,0.2279437192226789,0.08250488188240528,0.06023560030609883,0.0,0.16816548466762712,0.0,0.0,0.08739223199143357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360374426817336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093349095295448,0.1085416435982192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751915242982357,0.0,0.0,0.06526517663413756,0.0,0.08325436997564165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498145762061918,0.07059215896825771,0.0,0.1082450140031907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325162139326778,0.0,0.05615781007522627,0.08287981125435058,0.07902993064450811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518847264826696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050337947345184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401714835243157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054593403589055,0.0,0.10462889521058026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655026169760184,0.09903677032935056,0.0,0.08744655908253751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191713630813226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958044917399746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774348275661534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593598187823966,0.0,0.0,0.0943283658409654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802311966529383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933454311346064,0.0,0.10509998519509282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20319282258376195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858021062749644,0.0,0.10000421840647963,0.0,0.0,0.10308370210610797,0.0,0.0,0.0817392875776924,0.11107015983058746,0.0,0.10072759807056378,0.0,0.0,0.1954575328368056,0.0,0.1398809615868202,0.0,0.0,0.08261224705822098,0.0,0.103300995400414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441891707512946,0.06564708926744453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285628808254133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708766621456272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882876284073684,0.0,0.0582825765591281,0.07843330672277744,0.07926197653087343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069907716249933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908973538900384
mentalhealth,buddyboyo13,2019/03/08,"How do I treat Antisocial Personality Disorder with diet? I was diagnosed with ASPD also known as psychopathy. I'm not a violent person or anything, I just wanna be normal. I have never committed any kind of crime, I was bullied as a kid so I did have to resort to self defense, but I never bullied people. I never scammed people. The only bad things I've done was torture animals as a kid and cheat on my exes and never felt bad about it. I went in getting help because I thought I have autism but the brain scans showed something different. That's where the neurologist tells me what is really going on. 

I feel comforted finding out what the error in my brain was. I want to fix it. I know there is no known cure but I want to treat it. Please don't demonize me like I'm some bad person.  i just cant believe im diagnosed with this shit. I love my parents. I love my dog. i just dont understand. im just happy at least to find out whats wrong.",1.1793053510063842,3.4550553350515467,3.705640648011784,84.94905498281788,83.2783505154639,6.788021600392735,23.155621011291114,7.957251820313856,1.4593517918507608,741,27,149,15,21,258,115,194,0.246,0.5870000000000001,0.16699999999999998,-0.9683,3,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,10,17,5,0,7,0,16,8,3,1,5,37,30,12,0,4,9,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,6,9,7,1,1,9,1,0,2,9,9,0,0,9,3,25,8,21,20,2,14,1,0,1,2,11,8,1,2,5,101,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944671088944658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033125232751571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720947432991672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958964324168433,0.07200987718708772,0.0,0.0,0.1330900717701334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637403609310455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397953490776518,0.0,0.12341886593162607,0.13538519438899466,0.0,0.0,0.1208862002672062,0.13844541464167734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059729186264392074,0.0,0.11342163303455588,0.0,0.2159341381042727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061717128559471576,0.0,0.06713499966901464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574970546333405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917886759697937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551975349342576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301238135095613,0.06492019004012575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057711489981793575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21323069285606255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364431116710168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574059180459492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984184772310386,0.0,0.0,0.13116742827082353,0.0,0.0,0.16379049237733606,0.30943506184443764,0.0,0.12966933159181646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567597382436095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232335145815687,0.0,0.1212569383021911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094088849364143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324928633621827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784791520598465,0.0,0.0,0.09378062556677824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229756613111819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935019021450398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950605968998917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915468368538574,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,creekrunner48,2019/03/08,Clearing record Hey I’m 18 as a minor I got put on a m1 hold after someone made some false accusations of things I said and they kept me and even though I never spoke to a doctor I got sent to this fucked up place where they slid food under the door and kept me locked in there 24 hours a day for like 3 weeks before they let me out and never even explained why they kept me so long. Anyways shitty experience but I had gotten over it but now I am getting rejected from jobs that require security clearance because of it. How do I get that shit off my record super stressed because It was already screwed up being there and now it’s affecting my future. Never got a diagnosis that I was told about and I’ve always just been a hardworking guy that likes the outdoors and don’t have any mental health issues. If anyone knows how I can clear my name so I can get the kinda jobs I want I’d appreciate it thanks.,3.4957603686635927,4.796134182795701,4.563471582181262,86.00806451612905,72.76344086021507,7.034715821812598,24.57603686635945,7.447530270364453,1.023468202764977,722,21,149,8,14,236,123,186,0.121,0.7490000000000001,0.13,0.1964,2,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,4,2,15,10,3,1,9,0,12,6,1,4,5,32,33,16,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,1,11,8,1,6,2,0,0,3,4,5,0,0,16,2,22,5,17,15,1,24,0,1,0,2,12,10,3,3,13,99,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718176543653736,0.0,0.11851823585796728,0.0,0.0,0.09686142444707686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959462480659274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736554348776474,0.0,0.12120262030662607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918594935682276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578937200143946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881553860702556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393298257883344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17223428346591754,0.0,0.0,0.13167986853239075,0.22325093205373134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34175745501035937,0.0,0.0,0.1410341212764299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140290134724188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027085549947854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866627022205448,0.282691678957003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827914915385438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456505507194419,0.0,0.13917415612566006,0.0,0.0,0.12605145602321166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347764707955516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354207577201747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295664768190236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881539639193886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318760994396426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548933759532802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620859787117385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068563547062355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631600580099152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113601329789729,0.0,0.0,0.09462820804689133,0.0,0.13994273365606427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610378642151386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840124953244669,0.0,0.11425363849438623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852641525602973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,O5Beta,2019/03/08,"Crazy Mood Swings? To start off i am 18 male. 

The past couple of months have been a rollercoaster. I was a normal kid who accepted life. Now im a fucking wreck. The past couple of months i get really impulsive and depressed. I got 2 tattoos on my forearms (bad decisions), ive gotten high everynight for 3 months, and ive had mood swings like fucking crazy. I go on impulsive swings where i sell all my shit and start over. I sold my pc, bought an xbox and tv, sold the xbox and tv and bought another pc, sold the pc and bought an xbox and tv again. Ive also been a horror at work. Today for example i was having a wonderful day until 2:00 where all of a sudden i felt numb and depressed. I ignored people and didnt give a shit. I felt so numb and down that my boss sent me home for my mood. It came out of no where. Now im sitting home and just chugged captain morgan (rip). Anyways i have been a trainwreck for the past 6 months. I got into weed and nicotine products hardcore and just feel numb all the time. When i get yelled at i just die inside now. I dont react the way i used to, im just numb. I isolate myself from society by hiding in the bathroom when im at college. My appetite has depleted and my nothing entertains me unless im drunk or high. I feel like killing myself but dont have the balls. I used to feel normal but ever since october ive been a mess. At work i feel excited and out spoken then all of a sudden im down. People at work call me sunshine because when im happy im really happy but then a cloud appears and im a mute and feel numb. I cant do this shit anymore i feel like ending it all. I need help and dont know where to get it. Ive been self medicating and my music choice went from pop music to fucking depressing songs. My memory is fucked from all the weed and im a wreck. Sorry for the rant, the alcohol kicked in and now im sitting home crying and hating myself. What should i do? I need help

",0.9678545232273841,2.884196369193159,3.0251338630806863,91.58572035452323,81.640586797066,5.948190709046456,20.98294621026895,7.066338657993696,0.4824439608801958,1501,44,331,19,40,507,178,409,0.18600000000000005,0.7290000000000001,0.084,-0.9869,0,0,1,0,0,1,43.0,0,0,0,3,20,32,9,0,27,0,28,17,4,4,7,66,67,36,2,5,9,0,8,3,0,1,8,2,3,3,7,27,2,1,12,10,7,5,6,20,0,0,23,11,46,9,37,43,6,57,0,3,1,4,10,22,7,3,30,196,53,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062468978535818225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046745215803158435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06129355596450204,0.0,0.0,0.05797013155755944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488062026758336,0.035632690451338135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059687524481654014,0.0668551931541179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293552970998406,0.06420838785968268,0.037697649965744436,0.0,0.15103765436147995,0.0,0.06066546930563301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20552108115046028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177242114709416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052874506703889664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733497305153298,0.08351833586866067,0.11224898856320484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161571503889184,0.09161857053824107,0.05607389111860088,0.033220451903306934,0.0,0.09350115349514852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444960341983168,0.0,0.057710696216080874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836025249815473,0.12351859272100794,0.17590077781504573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6945375157976423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467009975108583,0.0,0.032124496334464604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04128741185290679,0.08567223296315359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888571758207036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866279961756558,0.0,0.0,0.08668500905534281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454397206408028,0.056087677319610056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674013429123931,0.08104854697350318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748935744712128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06097971347606865,0.0,0.18000492917270547,0.04835331128382436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543386975747932,0.0827473284723623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03408468621276387,0.0,0.055407051175179724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097005394006699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0463976406863271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541869487895588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339029063824231,0.1276644587176394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sarahstorm24,2019/03/08,"Can you have yourself sectioned? And can you do it whilst your intoxicated? I know the implications of my judgement but when I’m sober I won’t make such a bold move, and if I can be honest when I’m sober I would definately rather die than be here, in this house , let alone this world, so I’m not going to stop, and recently I’m sure my body and mind is actually near death, so I wonder if I can section myself? And just before you say, I can’t go hospital (we’ll prob should, my arm is broken and I’m still in bed drinking) but they will just fix me up and send me out, I’ve been to rehab, and I’m apparently just a a knowit all selfish cunt that already knew how depressing being an addict was with being around more people like that, I’ve kinda consciously decided that if I’m not locked away, I’m jist going to die. But I still want help, I’m just so fucking unstable clearly and can’t appreciate the help in given, I’m selfish, and I want what i want or is rather die, and I’m so close to it I can barely walk or move, so I don’t want advice or anything, I’ve pretty much established I’ve gone mad, don’t want your advice, but i wonder if I can section myself and how? That’s all. Please don’t try tell me I’m being selfish or stupid or whatever cause I know I am, and I’d still rather keep using these things to kill myself with, so that’s why I’m not asking for help it’s just a simple can I be sectioned, because the section does say if your a harm to yourself, which I really am lol. Even now I’m having crazy ideas that if my arm isn’t really broken and while im this fucked up and planning not to stop then I may as well actually break it, or I’m thinking I should cut myself even more and worse just for more attention, or not even that also to try help me get locked away. Basically in a wierd way I seem committed to either getting out of this house in some way or dying. I know I can save up and leave and have patienece, I knew that 5 years or 10 years ago, but clearly because I’d rather abuse things than even be here sober one minute and clearly have no patience. So right now I’m on my chair, drunk sleepy, but I shouldn’t be as I haven’t had much, but tired and broken and I can’t but keep toeing the line in my mind to just get more cocaine and get more energy and just go really crazy and have fun one last time before the alcohol and stress kills me anyway, or I’m also thinking about cutting myself more or actually breaking my own arm or trying to make my body give up, in my mind it’s either try make it give up or  don’t try but make it unintentionally while I use other drugs to keep my mind happy, but either way that’s it. So, can and should I section myself at this point?",4.125811011904762,4.032267994791667,5.434882936507937,85.409125,70.44097222222223,8.318968253968254,25.31130952380952,7.957251820313856,1.1568947023809522,2119,51,477,25,35,713,225,576,0.196,0.6659999999999999,0.13699999999999998,-0.9942,1,1,4,0,1,3,49.0,1,6,1,1,42,23,9,1,12,1,50,16,6,9,7,134,106,74,7,20,49,0,0,1,0,9,6,2,1,0,28,32,3,5,14,2,0,9,17,15,1,2,7,2,58,8,43,81,21,63,0,1,0,2,19,30,3,25,20,317,86,0,0.0,0.08064546489517041,0.19926380196335955,0.07420050110478492,0.0,0.13302395115402094,0.060335193961673375,0.07274039723099741,0.0,0.07049443676568229,0.07511101952164273,0.10886253131931113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056011396811119545,0.06059195751760324,0.06363124759329614,0.0,0.12789793412296974,0.0,0.0,0.08298314198793408,0.0,0.11583598586823188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120893538213234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992113151989701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862397215706418,0.0,0.2825613889598925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05956382256397065,0.0,0.0,0.06667743183330536,0.0789333698885903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798242033606786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258493203518205,0.14224385438214734,0.13058760395501004,0.15473080714801474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245607179896624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824891659007619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707490525052845,0.0,0.07683669037596047,0.07352148796685345,0.0,0.0,0.18149693037976694,0.15060687256683652,0.0,0.11221963343973232,0.055481763663724384,0.0,0.07207062288064528,0.0,0.06960070290623539,0.0,0.0332529435861415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18173469505193968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749035215035609,0.0,0.0,0.14468387490903795,0.10007067970192317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224471918659398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047187449195022727,0.0,0.0,0.07471453205653902,0.06434308244938045,0.0,0.0,0.06924620556092131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308118481710488,0.0,0.0672056177101579,0.0,0.0,0.0581268281438135,0.0,0.10825546259697644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061963489243433575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306952121795018,0.11381016861685588,0.07796781177701649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415011490990907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949149285403589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043824087569302,0.08722614218706473,0.0,0.0,0.03968903722651323,0.07823028757903264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310571033920001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175719853947106,0.0,0.0,0.20073143213694655,0.16207962223214775,0.0,0.0,0.06119828294432265,0.0,0.06141774816265275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762639088040366,0.0,0.0,0.06936368008092665,0.04835116529212019,0.0,0.0,0.08766278934980604
mentalhealth,Throwaway039117389,2019/03/08,"I just realized something is wrong with me Some background that might be helpful:
Have been traumatised from a young age and family was abusive though it stopped the past few years.

my family had a sitdown with me a month ago and spoke to me asking whats wrong and why I never was close to them and how I didn't seem to love them.

Throwback to a week ago I felt a wake up moment,I realized I feel nothing towards then,nor hatred nor love.I think if my father dropped dead I would care but I wouldn't be really sad.

I have also noticed A few wierd things about me:
-Feel nothing
-enjoy manipulating people
-tortured a cat and felt pleasure(not sexual pleasure)
-Always acting and lying
-Very selfish and only care about myself
-Can turn on and off my emotions
-Always gaslight people
-Clever(score straight A's in school while barely studying)
-Can read people's emotions quite easily

My father is also a sociopath(mother told me)

I want to seek a psychologist to see whats wrong with me but I dont really care nor want to change,just shocked how I never realised all of my actions were against society norms.Not to mention how my mother is against that because ""if I take prescribed meds I will become a vegetable""",4.347207792207797,6.607803060606062,4.647833333333335,82.31175,72.50649350649351,7.044242424242424,28.866017316017324,7.908726449838941,2.0399695238095243,981,40,172,14,20,308,139,231,0.165,0.7120000000000001,0.124,-0.8984,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,1,9,13,1,0,12,0,20,3,1,4,3,39,38,21,1,6,5,3,4,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,6,12,1,1,8,1,0,2,7,7,0,0,10,6,28,6,22,22,4,22,0,1,1,1,11,7,0,5,12,116,34,2,0.0,0.12965286199719026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940005079381721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501714161055953,0.18210372382536447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229928457411287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670556038234943,0.12085330113578906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347037403459234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824739225768012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461808385536075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20631569278920128,0.0,0.11065895392646023,0.0,0.21013377293769075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334647606430618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19752391495858249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215485040437514,0.0,0.0,0.11608454007729975,0.0,0.0,0.08734342615058256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879338509187286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099959278269136,0.12458313476973855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832240108198651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446026056680273,0.22758829078985546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638886925653268,0.10945641041995942,0.0,0.14020321763134946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074576156797544,0.08719899045026873,0.09961804709274348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424209519030898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148570291422456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227533374367947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269830224654754,0.07011627368152269,0.10751127341960567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456199484690357,0.0,0.0,0.1190249335000448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028856843021403,0.12908552119169925,0.0,0.08777557681232594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874066492221907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773365767277034,0.35892307643528004,0.0,0.07046727019698673
mentalhealth,angrymangoes13,2019/03/08,"Not feeling enough... suicidal but confused on what to do Hello I’ve (23F) been hospitalized multiple times before for suicide attempts and depression. I have a mental health disorder that has a lot of influence on my moods. I constantly feel depressed and frequently feel suicidal. 

I’ve given suicide considerable thought the past two days. I feel like it is inevitable. Meaning I know I WILL die from suicide. I’m basically just delaying the inevitable. 

I know that probably no one on here would give me tips on how to best kill myself with causing the least amount of harm to the only two people that that love me. I don’t want to focus on my sob story or anything. I just need advice. 

I want to die. I know this. I feel it in my bones. My  question is this: should I go to the hospital or try to push through it? The reason why I’m writing this is because the hospitals I’ve been to haven’t really worked for me. I mean I’m not dead I guess so technically they have worked. But I haven’t been able to figure out how to keep from getting back into suicidal thoughts. 

I don’t feel like I’m really worth going to the hospital. I feel like it’s basically a waste of time for them and for me. I know I’m going to kill myself eventually, so why delay it? I don’t want to hurt my family. But I’ve been suffering for the greater majority of ten years with depression and thoughts (and actions) of wanted to die. 

Are there any alternatives to the hospital? Should I just go? 

I guess some background is needed. I do see a counselor and I am on medication. I have very strong knowledge of psychology, my mental illness, and suicide. I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be great. I’m at the end of my wits. ",1.439092920353982,3.9673051179941012,3.448583333333336,85.43287500000002,84.84070796460176,6.929823008849557,24.404203539823012,8.07648339933343,1.7545863716814156,1341,54,266,30,40,452,158,339,0.254,0.605,0.141,-0.9955,0,0,0,0,0,7,41.0,0,0,2,5,11,18,2,1,15,0,29,5,1,5,0,66,70,16,13,10,10,0,7,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,14,11,0,3,22,0,1,6,9,10,0,4,8,8,40,7,43,56,8,27,0,6,1,1,7,10,1,8,14,176,54,2,0.073294625394598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432453193109695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968571729625307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060315231592936426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056359042721221976,0.0,0.044679723344429566,0.0,0.06236832780656081,0.0,0.07691818743259274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529377021402049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792054516588556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04726896986644336,0.0,0.18938566035810173,0.0,0.2282047482917931,0.0,0.08400199065075971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491728310222485,0.07573294092098759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909564976741422,0.0,0.2594197539961404,0.1570850850805783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03829341664457439,0.07031088335712993,0.16662009874822034,0.0,0.0,0.08080758325030238,0.1614845863625641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790875938325685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846341240041621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514763073533081,0.16217928699384354,0.0,0.20140404648410695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742415513980567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231246946987956,0.0661512610318563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967866822086765,0.0,0.07383662409938263,0.1477274866357646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869407203453647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04966633504719408,0.05574386539490487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996801339887622,0.0508132645946208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902400281613223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210675470498062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390882768785024,0.07535908210826812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05840632695235504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5612069678782649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456323642262198,0.08547737097470798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049762239457362994,0.0,0.14319639776982554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060475741984681565,0.17292427622398712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227399833783945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671872044408537,0.0,0.0,0.104132797909572,0.0,0.0,0.0471993356954337
mentalhealth,sTacoSam,2019/03/08,"Ive had a memory and awareness problem affecting me my whole life. And I'm having suicidal thoughts about it. I was born with an Attention Deficit disorder with Hyperactivity. I'm currently 17 years old studying to become an engineer (hopefuly) one day.

I've had big memory problem and lack of awereness in my surroundings for a couple of years. I bump into a lot of people because I dont look around or behind me or I dont listen for the presence of them. I always get hurtful comments like ""watch where youre going"" or ""dont you realise what youre doing?"". I sometimes start walking in the middle of the street because I dont realise I left the sidewalk and I almost got run over a couple of times. Sometimes I get up an hour later before going to school because I, for some reason, see a different time on the clock. And every now and then I get ready for school, take my shower, eat breakfeast and hop on the bus only to realise we are saturday the second I get to school. I also have a very bad memory problem. I always forget that my girlfriend works on thursdays and fridays. I even forget basic information like what time we are or what day we are.

This morning, friday, my school was canceled, my friends reminded me (thankfully) so I didnt go to class. But somehow, in my dumb stupid head, my brain thought that we were Saturday because it was a day that I didnt have school. I had plans for saturday evening, and it took me literaly three hours of preparing for it, to realise that we were only friday. I told my girlfriend and she got mad at me telling me I got a mental problem. She always gets mad but I dont want to tell her that she is very hurtful sometimes she even told me once that she might breakup with me one day for that.

Now dont get me wrong she is a very nice girl and I love her more than anything in the world. She doesnt mean all the bad things she says to me. 

My mental problem is making my life very difficult and I dont know how to deal with it or how to stop it. Im scared of failing my academics or worse, losing my girlfriend or losing my friends because of this. I dont know what to do and it makes me very upset",3.265679513184584,4.730186045977014,4.509131169709266,85.52207403651119,73.59770114942529,7.140635564570656,27.73664638269101,7.724431198458867,1.6324983096686951,1690,65,339,22,34,557,194,435,0.16899999999999998,0.7759999999999999,0.055,-0.9923,3,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,5,3,1,5,13,27,4,2,21,0,32,6,2,6,1,62,64,27,1,7,9,0,0,2,5,1,2,2,1,1,21,24,1,1,8,0,0,6,11,20,0,4,18,5,70,7,46,45,6,50,0,5,3,1,35,19,1,12,27,233,91,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05841680623425166,0.0,0.0,0.04665265881450212,0.14562498538650234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048006978222622274,0.05193294491159988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741912973747613,0.17781068305141134,0.06442943556968794,0.0496411084848023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512419623149136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290991695676302,0.0,0.1504920297611781,0.060143634432504776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060950507652491985,0.06686008872591666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5469710479592188,0.0,0.0,0.059694058250776574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559455449416706,0.0,0.04915205067155246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901431655797795,0.0,0.18287432580872406,0.0,0.09946402310996534,0.0,0.1399740274322412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987133783542777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149018187476425,0.0,0.12490348560049445,0.0,0.0630147554366797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412177765486918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338411054875874,0.0,0.08241132297339168,0.057001732842379874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898899753789454,0.13052998750795045,0.0,0.049596648903336926,0.052652075833647935,0.0,0.07788177089275293,0.0,0.0,0.06354688646171308,0.0,0.0,0.11758141428800248,0.06188710879435268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612156305120696,0.06212777479744864,0.07906230655300471,0.08873693962144663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04044403415836314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791066279478057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059980898988575074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0463925016269298,0.058406241336805435,0.29520446866167066,0.04648761501884763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309250963538847,0.0,0.041291743087554865,0.0,0.0,0.04877295155418891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638120042075525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04386271011709389,0.0,0.10197948862107314,0.05370954065115631,0.0,0.0,0.03875699328524639,0.0,0.0,0.09262727692588013,0.10205159240548396,0.0,0.0,0.11148839538039866,0.06481536067774328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24067366996527745,0.03440910257492849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065131988289903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247055969942848,0.0,0.05945112724674838,0.0,0.06378314593072335,0.0,0.07513516639197602
mentalhealth,WestyDave,2019/03/08,"Is this an anxiety disorder? I am 22 y/o male with a family hx of anxiety and depression.

​

I have racing thoughts all day, every day. The only time I can get them to stop is if I've smoked weed or am exercising. I can not focus on a single task at a time. I am unable to read information and comprehend it. I am unable to have conversations with people and understand what they are saying a lot of the time. 

​

I don't know if I have a reading disorder. I have been well above average in my studies over the course of my 4 years of college, but I have never been able to comprehend textbooks well. I have to either write the textbook out word-for-word, or read the information several times, then write it out in my own words. 

​

I know that I've been struggling with depression. I have more difficulty getting out of bed. 

​

However, I've been mostly productive. I am still carrying a 3.6 gpa, and I am getting through most of my work, but it takes so much time. 

​

I have been trying to get in to see a psychiatrist, but I was unable to find anyone who is accepting new clients until almost June. 

​

How can I stop the constant racing thoughts? I feel like I am going crazy, and I can't even hear myself think anymore. ",3.236282991202348,5.331012701612902,4.698299120234606,81.4560850439883,75.20967741935483,8.057478005865104,27.804985337243398,8.841846274778883,2.365324193548388,1002,41,190,22,22,334,133,248,0.123,0.831,0.046,-0.9437,1,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,2,1,6,7,0,1,14,0,30,1,0,1,2,43,45,16,0,2,9,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,7,11,0,2,11,4,0,1,4,3,2,0,8,4,28,4,28,37,9,27,0,2,1,0,11,9,0,8,18,137,35,8,0.06833811729669359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843075305204728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442659292376221,0.4982297549709979,0.0,0.0,0.10455694536463613,0.0,0.06777304935842075,0.04778360055421877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384922723678186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814486436995858,0.0,0.11771904058163594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664280591767565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045136681962331976,0.0,0.057577811221295176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442309505063419,0.0,0.034553805435886036,0.04882076465135938,0.0,0.0,0.06245980115979676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281538294298754,0.0,0.03883812691224208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702202485645562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511368414019641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03338655221952702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809862353144815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05023637929762438,0.0,0.05270656897050726,0.06600137952690925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05197421763763968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04737704596210482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050698316853003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054345213765516015,0.0,0.0,0.05445663171959196,0.0,0.0,0.07720262087353014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457490874908432,0.11426745207673615,0.0,0.07144183799453559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138175942348038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04378830619148565,0.0,0.10850566338359664,0.19924252878141835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046397095812622365,0.0,0.0,0.07114239017900753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288834905536256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049750963295041736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4982297549709979,0.044007506985884584
mentalhealth,Rocket_Man_The_Great,2019/03/08,"I keep romanticising abuse Btw wanted to prologue that I have never been a victim of actual abuse and I don't want this post to be triggering for anyone. 

​

But fuck, I have a history of self harm (and still do) and I've had small moments where I would fantasize about someone else hurting me. Not very, just a good ol' slap, punch, kick, etc.. Now that I think about it, I've actually asked people to slap me as hard as they can. Last night, I concluded that I have this weird ""fantasy"" (it's not sexual) and, because I have concluded that I have this, I can't stop thinking about it. I have the obligation to feel like such because I labeled how I feel. For some reason, I fantasize about a romantic partner slapping me/hurting me and then, immediately after, wanting for me to cradle him and be loved. I don't know, I just feel like I *have to* constantly feel bad. I don't deserve someone who's too nice to me, as well as I would feel guilty. I think I also want to feel loved and needed, and that's where the taking care of him part comes in. 

​

To be completely honest, I think about giving the guy head after consoling him but that's because I have a weird sex drive. 

​

Didn't know if this was the best subreddit, but it seemed broad enough for me to post in it. ",3.5234435797665387,5.02714837743191,4.573250972762646,85.1618998054475,73.00778210116732,7.9415564202334625,26.079571984435802,8.548686976883017,1.7108351750972766,1011,34,207,18,20,330,126,257,0.101,0.763,0.136,0.828,0,0,0,0,2,0,51.0,0,0,1,3,16,17,2,0,9,0,23,5,1,5,1,46,50,19,0,8,8,0,7,2,1,2,0,0,0,3,16,9,0,2,16,1,0,2,8,7,1,0,4,7,34,10,30,41,5,21,0,1,0,4,12,6,1,3,13,144,50,0,0.0,0.21674675002877888,0.17851709136228971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314608420336574,0.0,0.2973131954970686,0.3334270552692309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395581582188636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550924800329003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637107988988781,0.16727220516778146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598891746467228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325664807927307,0.0,0.0,0.07879067551652152,0.09590135334868627,0.09884327511873227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640889715789037,0.0,0.0,0.0945098065628786,0.10200982372893228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774906190539522,0.1306880099494859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455971831474092,0.0,0.08774342980131049,0.0,0.07671813524424505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056665761303066,0.0,0.0,0.08193641827421645,0.0,0.09387147549491907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19583451634245616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130002484981627,0.0,0.0,0.10053568364156293,0.07455776946421462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937225993495547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510498094967416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067821581979981,0.07054494802785849,0.0,0.0,0.08583553330592468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904978985129216,0.0,0.06341166405615077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17520010221494006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404325497195586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326807298721225,0.09541997357334386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499929417868707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304562176080155,0.07647046303222478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877176069149216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344333046026828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546981019371557,0.2157982998838716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223976979217558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995098919442094,0.0,0.3334270552692309,0.0
mentalhealth,KyleAken,2019/03/08,How to find freedom from the thoughts that shackle us Make a change today. https://youtu.be/MrU_-pwAUZo,9.952000000000002,14.749351200000005,5.428333333333337,69.5025,70.33333333333334,5.666666666666668,34.16666666666667,7.1686216300943375,2.729666666666668,88,4,11,1,2,23,15,15,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4562628091293901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3942043584869004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878990000734873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424074735436242,0.0,0.0,0.4088260888937293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5188060231081594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aridarr,2019/03/08,"Menstrual cycle and mental illness I frequently go for weeks without any significant signs of depression or psychosis, and it almost appears that I'm making headway with my recovery. I take my meds (and they actually work) I sleep well and wake up early, walk my dog, eat healthy food, look for employment opportunities, and generally feel pretty optimistic.

Then I start to pms. I can go on for more than a week and it is so bad that I lie in bed barely able to clean or feed myself. I go totally wild. I scream with despair and rage if anything upsets me, get hallucinations and mad, paranoid thoughts, etc. I've gone so far as to attempt suicide several times. It feels like the world is ending.

It goes away once I start bleeding but it takes me a while to get my confidence back. And it does feel like I'm making no real progress because when I pms, it takes me back to square one.

I've asked my doctors to help me find a solution but they haven't given me anything to help. My consultant psychiatrist is dismissive and doesn't seem to realise how much of a factor it is in my illness.",4.427873222748817,6.004480042654032,5.491513625592416,79.17954531990523,70.84834123222748,8.687322274881518,30.72304502369668,9.188382445141503,2.7289073459715643,863,37,163,18,16,285,132,211,0.126,0.725,0.149,0.804,1,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,2,4,7,11,2,1,5,0,7,11,2,3,1,33,31,22,1,1,6,0,3,2,0,0,6,1,2,0,10,12,3,0,6,0,0,6,4,7,1,1,3,6,25,4,23,28,4,26,0,2,2,0,6,7,0,6,15,100,35,4,0.13275003280448053,0.0,0.12954488259472313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329299821511779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027457449964056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21848393192448945,0.0,0.1241033607350076,0.0,0.124723025683669,0.2041531621122865,0.11084073241916664,0.08092318785635387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143374087339705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587528367591478,0.1161704482938855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358364246410048,0.0,0.0,0.11757712676751395,0.0,0.14805137746339586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20136721583441006,0.18967329992046328,0.0,0.0,0.12133112501367548,0.0,0.16052186660368087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871282616958586,0.0,0.2263347086054783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779590974764962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970992113021385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147659360566277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772233554357783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745536009309887,0.0,0.1337808099259798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758654852583457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137445244438812,0.0899548578261684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350545078604257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510986000122888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085064412264905,0.0,0.1499697512745037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284590329055834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879223129593608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145206989685911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994345111706332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538869772420034,0.07740761167577746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129681379144272,0.0,0.11935822212925615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796629442755147,0.0,0.0966436049269218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stillchillingx,2019/03/08,"Tell me your mental health success stories I (20f) have been depressed since I was 9. Some days are worse than others but for the past few months I have been feeling progressively lower and lower. I dont remember how it feels to be happy or not anxious and I'm not sure I ever will. I dont think I can cope with many more years of this. 

Please .. if you've overcome mental illness or gotten close let me know your story (as much or as little of it as you want) 

I think I might feel better knowing theres a chance I can get over this.",4.1504633204633175,4.369529837837838,4.945637065637065,87.84810810810812,70.44144144144144,7.063577863577862,24.86615186615187,6.18269132825596,0.6420800514800518,416,10,90,2,7,135,81,111,0.132,0.693,0.17600000000000002,0.7395,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,3,3,5,0,0,2,0,14,2,0,1,2,25,25,11,0,2,7,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,8,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,3,15,4,10,17,4,8,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,6,5,62,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19318708460111989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124011144600166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102841404703648,0.0,0.1472864392082088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4008333994968698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15468390018825562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593959450535395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934310504867808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820381052599504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177042122922493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879598579491904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486429732163014,0.0,0.0,0.17139203154041502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733723277386957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446658332835476,0.1814093838833132,0.0,0.0,0.1364946366991147,0.0,0.12570842217030995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632437144265321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877122443056628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937154391054545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145718310500138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16117027987397126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946599186721415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191463221595024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086323662069524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742688029075488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012167565002147
mentalhealth,Discount-Jesus,2019/03/08,"Just trying to make sense of how I feel 17M for context

Sometimes I feel like my mind is split into 2 and different things happen in each independently at the same time and I can’t tell which is real, I would think that I might have done something even thought it never happened or it’d feel like something happened but was all in my head and the more I think about these things the more real I believe them to be until I kinda snap back to reality

Any advice on what this is and what to do to prevent it is appreciated ",7.537757009345796,5.621642401869163,7.864411214953272,76.79437383177573,64.23364485981308,10.055327102803735,33.549532710280374,8.238735603445708,2.374014579439251,415,13,86,4,5,137,74,107,0.0,0.909,0.091,0.7964,1,0,2,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,13,1,1,3,2,28,23,8,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,11,2,14,16,5,9,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,3,6,67,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050747525260153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169860822629264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630147635328867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18505843435443725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161086319462304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808925458500193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848846625114117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491558434451179,0.23468671811782715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43574880680778255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16857237720044765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049278264329853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964107145943308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424793606922784,0.16585009613605986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668310075920566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739148795740077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25290208682885995,0.1624517778720428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356556445919175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21824661774535375,0.21049514372430364,0.0,0.13039962717987116,0.09577804756465606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151793938728824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668159604692124,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CoffeeFodder,2019/03/08,"Turning Anger into Compassion, Accountability and the Enduring Human Spirit Let me introduce myself. My name is Coffee, and I admit that I have struggled greatly with anger in my life. In order for this to be understood, and why I realized my anger was consuming me, I have to explain what happened.

I lost a good friend because of some serious issues that had always been there. I asked for a single break, and he blew up on me. He came at me saying all these awful things, and I finally reached a breaking point. I *reacted*, I spat back. I sent him a text everyone told me not to, because I couldn't control my anger. I'd always controlled my emotions, fearing about the repercussions of them. 

​

But I couldn't control my anger in this situation. Years of dealing with hostility and feeling like I was wrong in every way, I couldn't control myself as I sent that text. The text that I wish to this day that I had never sent. I wanted him to understand just how harmful he was, how much pain he had inflicted, and had always.

​

I learned later that he would use my reaction as proof of my own 'craziness'. That I was the true problem. He had mutual friends watching every post I made, sneaking into my life without consent. And I allowed him to creep into my mind, all hours of the day and night. I became obsessed with figuring out what he was doing, and trying to figure out why.

​

Why would a close friend do such things?

Why would a close friend go out of their way to cause so much harm?

​

Questions that I would never get answers to. Because in order to gain accountability from another person, that other person must be willing to take steps to  change. But you, *you as a single person reading this*, cannot force another nor expect people to do something they are either unwilling to do or unable.

​

We don't always get closure in the way we want and the way we need. We won't always get that apology we desire to calm our minds and souls. And I am sorry to have to say that, truly. I know what it feels like to keep waiting to hear someone apologize for harming you and hearing nothing after. 

​

Instead, the best thing that we could do is pick up the pieces. Have mercy on yourself, I know mistakes are made in times of extreme pain, but you must believe that you can find a way to create a new life.

​

I've struggled with anger that has turned into resentment, bitterness, hatred. It was only just last night that I realized that I don't want to be that kind of man.

​

I don't want to hold onto hate, I don't want to feel that festering feeling of anger. Waking up angry isn't a pleasant experience to me. It was after watching a YouTube video that I knew that I had to be the change, I can't expect the people that hurt me to change.

​

I cannot control what another person does, but I can handle and change myself. I am in charge of my destiny, not them.

​

I am in charge of my image, not them.

​

*I am in charge of my peace, closure and life.*

​

The road ahead of me is going to be very rough. I've had some pretty dark days since the break up, yet I've had some great ones too. And I will continue to live and learn from people, places, situations. Each time provides another lesson to me, and teaches me how to be more compassionate towards other people.

​

Learning how to turn anger into compassion has been a very hard struggle for me. There will be times that I will want to dismiss my decision to let my fury and pain go, there will be times I won't understand why I decided to do this.

​

But then I will remember what my face looked like in the mirror last night, and I will know that the reflection is of a man that I never want to be again.

​

I want to be someone my grandmother could have looked at and taken pride in; I want to be that man that I can look at and not feel scared of. Because we're all struggling in this life, I don't want to cause more pain for another human being. I want to help people, not hurt them and in order to do that, I must learn to control my anger.",5.080188175753391,6.0041172260869615,5.556559696342308,81.77652806533244,68.66459627329192,8.099608925695879,29.81423970554405,8.226894021818545,2.0822762824936736,3257,120,616,43,54,1046,300,805,0.146,0.7440000000000001,0.11,-0.9938,1,0,1,0,0,0,154.0,7,5,6,12,17,51,13,7,28,1,88,12,3,18,11,156,145,40,0,30,15,0,7,3,4,16,9,4,0,9,47,46,0,9,30,2,2,8,24,34,0,1,28,17,105,17,108,82,17,86,2,3,5,0,59,38,0,5,31,450,152,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215855504268456,0.4381444033315508,0.4913646632511257,0.0,0.1413421893751242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0252026475872313,0.0,0.0,0.020729495833401224,0.0,0.06573483822194988,0.0,0.0,0.030373105324244882,0.02829138269405535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03083345132389598,0.0,0.055387807193711884,0.11407447754485706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181418142685888,0.04304848962518762,0.0,0.0,0.052158191476519115,0.02779312814375226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023591648534426714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030324791334687868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045427558734440425,0.025760093221719956,0.0,0.026370679282631333,0.0,0.030335914798100206,0.06815537933111758,0.03851845192822586,0.0,0.029531823571417124,0.024639667829876845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833125758322401,0.0,0.0422542603166765,0.0,0.045963573137415316,0.022611590807533048,0.0,0.059443893274773715,0.0,0.0,0.02383939690951544,0.0,0.02414960630042732,0.02661603173510651,0.0,0.0,0.06076859268867259,0.0,0.018069778256120654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02654878610626081,0.0,0.05771946796450497,0.0,0.0,0.028137769569356968,0.0,0.023962038293732044,0.0,0.028073228643319573,0.044447217065846416,0.043949706787839785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513398066248952,0.09520826607452826,0.0395118239923321,0.0,0.023804933671945028,0.0,0.06791529140457847,0.0,0.02942849149382192,0.0,0.0,0.05101774966106353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444099271183422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039635339078405565,0.019989456922650185,0.062376392228496426,0.026036779459096986,0.0,0.07589644676636753,0.0,0.025867499395565825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018267841959519998,0.020503226627840505,0.1147433850532266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344847834853956,0.09415682276333844,0.0281659943832216,0.0,0.025484586472554843,0.0,0.025818882381003657,0.027426583345644483,0.0,0.025795734991803317,0.0,0.0,0.03019979664967043,0.0,0.026965890812062028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03053883336179647,0.0,0.0,0.04287711425465967,0.026990256993705088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02230042872484256,0.060605181575741185,0.0,0.0,0.04568386085332828,0.020754043842341908,0.0,0.030177940454833893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273190914186125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0202695087272244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373027874058282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287909516969459,0.0,0.0,0.025760093221719956,0.0,0.01830311669051277,0.08796963142754069,0.0,0.05612969718393968,0.0,0.023283570777780697,0.0,0.0444873291299268,0.1749096586563472,0.10699239117801916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216296961862286,0.0,0.03100105430101097,0.02598712397795456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660245086363246,0.029474992075074313,0.4913646632511257,0.017360451586757975
mentalhealth,ngwsklv,2019/03/08,"How to deal with health anxiety? For the past three years, I (21F) have been having episodes of crazy health anxiety (it mostly happens during exams or when something important is coming up). I literally spend hours googling stuff (even though I know it's really bad for me), watching videos of people who have terminal illnesses, overthinking about how I probably have something bad and how I don't wanna die now etc. 

During these ""periods"" I go to the doctor a lot, I get my blood tested for no reason (I literally just go to the lab and ask for blood test without a prescription), I cry all the time, I check every single part of my body (mostly lymph nodes and beauty marks). The problem is that all of that results in my having little to no sleep, so then I can't focus on studying and I make myself sick by thinking I am sick. 

Do you guys have any advice to stop these episodes? 

I have seen a therapist for about four months (but stopped because she said I didn't need it anymore) and I've been taking medication for my anxiety but I honestly don't know what to do anymore, it's ruining everything. I haven't had a blood check since November and I keep thinking I'm gonna die. I know it sounds crazy but I just don't know how to reassure myself anymore. My boyfriend and my family are trying to reassure me but I just keep thinking I have something bad. 

I'm taking a competitive exam at the end of this month and it's really important for me, but I just can't focus long enough to properly study. ",4.242274268104776,5.671544569491527,5.359545454545458,80.52036594761175,71.10169491525423,8.889060092449922,28.324345146379045,9.339509955726095,2.490694915254237,1188,44,227,26,22,393,154,295,0.125,0.784,0.091,-0.5958,0,0,3,0,0,1,34.0,0,1,0,0,15,8,0,0,11,0,24,13,5,7,2,47,48,22,2,3,11,0,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,1,14,10,0,4,8,1,3,3,10,5,0,2,6,4,36,3,31,41,9,22,0,1,2,0,9,5,0,4,14,157,50,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173449595654893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07079795871853467,0.0,0.23893020683165586,0.0,0.30974563467490884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097328230665695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607809887215437,0.06346412093306716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564206815219545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968102538666789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435928189618795,0.0,0.10733221490058184,0.0,0.0,0.21609823068128065,0.0,0.0,0.10656037735846548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221002273639647,0.10757283531446966,0.1161094955913354,0.06876327357208259,0.0,0.08771665555735267,0.0,0.09356681128648928,0.0,0.09814507218372788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439286197313905,0.0,0.11833553685326265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308466918622554,0.09206359424380113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22132683719317106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252678291440638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507442777195754,0.0,0.0,0.2288632033630536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434496439086573,0.0,0.0921335385153098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885100847108878,0.0,0.0,0.06949382963944288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487926268050324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619825178459158,0.0,0.0,0.07719579728739934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127403294865166,0.09938419782866352,0.07217634595400887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224753637520728,0.09961863081184273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333902887249488,0.10704179753880093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903187553386354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612036744802214,0.0,0.10418458164129976,0.0,0.0,0.2404454959752077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408023199611136,0.0,0.0,0.1191803494134982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565546170540522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087903192026794,0.0,0.2001272898448348,0.1022869520750676,0.0,0.060707025497460265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706834453400005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035774170590764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704303707173463
mentalhealth,Optimus811,2019/03/08,"I’m terrified of dogs, it’s hard to open up Ever since the age of 8-9 I’ve been very afraid of dogs. Beforehand I was just a little afraid because they were bigger than me at the time (5-7 years old) but I had a traumatic event that made it really bad. everyone in my family knows the event and make fun of it, but to me it really traumatized me and sometimes brings a tear to my eye when I think about it. 

My parents always knew that I was afraid of dogs, just not to the extent. They just told me their is nothing to be afraid of and that if they harm you you defend yourself. While this is ok advice they don’t know the extent of it. All rationality goes out the window when I am near a dog. I live in fear each time I go on a walk or a hike. It’s really disabled my ability to live normally. 

I told them the extent of the fear a few months ago. They understood and said they would look into behavior therapy or something. Nothing happened. They forgot the next day and completely ignored it. It took a lot of effort to open up about it, primarily due to the fact my dad is ashamed of it. He still doesn’t understand the extent and I feel like a huge failure and that I’m just a pussy because that’s how he acts I’m like. I quit going on morning walks with him, last time I ran like fuck away from a dog and he laughed at me for it. I kinda don’t blame him it was just a little dog but that instinct in me takes over.

“Run! Don’t freeze up! Run!” It’s a constant knot in my stomach when I am near a dog. I could tell my mom again but she will tell my dad and all go through the embarrassment of being ridiculed and being a failure. 

My parents are also extremely overprotective and I can’t go outside alone, so going to a shelter wouldn’t work, and my mom is allergic to dogs. I’d probably break down and cry/run back if I entered a shelter. I’m sick of living in fear and cancelling every event or walk.

What do I do?",1.388358407668754,3.1395113546798044,3.3086712821195583,90.88511716149648,79.54187192118226,6.65519904140594,22.30302223405672,7.63319966405982,0.8111096525096531,1494,46,337,23,37,503,196,406,0.184,0.7490000000000001,0.066,-0.9951,2,1,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,2,9,3,17,20,2,9,29,1,27,5,2,3,4,57,56,30,0,6,15,6,3,3,0,3,2,1,1,0,22,20,0,2,7,0,0,15,7,14,0,0,15,6,47,6,48,34,9,65,0,0,2,1,28,25,1,7,27,218,69,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812680294447447,0.08901404051122727,0.0,0.0,0.1040022288494282,0.0,0.08030382548506812,0.08355539076733957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434553153633846,0.07721484661203956,0.08384440450062461,0.12242713212051838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528582120244777,0.10851562598264172,0.0,0.08017518973936981,0.0,0.0,0.06476096969567915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083336307266182,0.08460606104050401,0.0959532090318372,0.0,0.0,0.09466466676413446,0.3389927608654549,0.05077409699813373,0.0717382704643228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283434563269508,0.0,0.0,0.2853478507203734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879884925738397,0.0,0.08995434144732331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037364586363732,0.08185365180949405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717673085005495,0.20128939869921425,0.2660114336877371,0.0,0.08432539557099407,0.0,0.0,0.08537135373171267,0.0,0.0950174511292999,0.06702945016603802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23521548666593786,0.08015227750058435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679513319297997,0.0,0.09838781343671664,0.1927065678893476,0.0,0.10537125716983876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22300346422060294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826703154451184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680635461386256,0.0,0.0,0.19299003430473607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955200224305785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830663802540205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773062849547865,0.09931545910956636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019353224731872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550145067938352,0.0,0.17553861377644495,0.0,0.11483614415295565,0.0,0.0,0.06434346891475634,0.0,0.0,0.17566272695385593,0.0,0.0,0.1919064180636744,0.11156751929858448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453814200957863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285494067375493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310512414559084,0.0,0.0,0.07133369934655075,0.0,0.0,0.06466556722654809
mentalhealth,st3llz,2019/03/08,"Bang Energy Drinks...good for mania? I tried this brand for the first time today and just felt...better...after drinking it. After some googling, I found some studies that show the BCAA aminos in these could help reduce mania symptoms. (More testing was needed to know for sure) I wasn't manic before drinking it, but definitely very anxious and on edge. Anyone else get a brain calm from these? ",4.272555331991954,7.03754390140845,3.822052313883301,85.72591549295778,74.77464788732395,5.183903420523139,21.410462776659962,6.18269132825596,0.4324350100603618,311,8,52,2,7,93,58,71,0.041,0.815,0.14400000000000002,0.7446,0,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,3,4,1,0,1,11,7,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,2,2,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,3,2,8,3,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,4,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25126224913181794,0.0,0.15551563937884225,0.2278873739792108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892562277128864,0.0,0.0,0.19670533689832853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482853443004641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775778814786291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4357581671281067,0.0,0.0,0.1857966838986848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21355039562161088,0.0,0.0,0.1891835307126094,0.0,0.24386327444224465,0.0,0.0,0.1162010885215305,0.0,0.0,0.1865486305059123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907807309611354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222318167705731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491567732753254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096206746840872,0.23117122452908664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969022382372142,0.0,0.21082056685123768,0.0,0.0,0.1510031462035634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18351319008675845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,patrickswayzme,2019/03/08,"I’m a recreational therapist at maximum security prison, we’re starting a live stream Q&A subreddit engaging with inmates, Monday through Wednesday 0900-1500 PST  

Please subscribe and stayed tuned Monday through Wednesday to engage with inmates.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/askaninmate](https://www.reddit.com/r/askaninmate)

​

We have men with all diagnosis. I encourage you to explore how these men manage their symptoms in a correctional system environment. ",16.934999999999995,20.50937072580645,11.580806451612904,39.6412096774194,43.35483870967741,13.296774193548384,52.596774193548384,12.602617957971056,8.062406451612905,403,23,36,11,4,111,50,62,0.051,0.753,0.197,0.8176,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,9,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,9,3,1,10,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,21,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5854828025323721,0.32829993709625005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385750994598629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965780100658405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19123576413972135,0.28797739140064865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808218937907961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137013945312705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32829993709625005,0.0
mentalhealth,ChewwieWheels,2019/03/08,Anyone have experience with brain scans? I’m going to get one in a few days and I’m pretty scared.,-0.4357142857142868,1.8118882857142893,2.3114285714285714,90.95857142857146,94.71428571428572,4.704761904761905,11.761904761904766,6.42735559955562,-0.8126952380952379,78,1,17,1,3,27,19,21,0.131,0.7240000000000001,0.145,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,5,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808060567938658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4483152226438133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589969309896729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39283906184070055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20981792952281808,0.0,0.22823690858355666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721326144206911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4085686665680642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020687947628984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ProudTadpole,2019/03/08,"I need advice pls I've seen/experienced some shit, and have a very pessimistic outlook on humanity. I am not insane, but I am pretty much jaded. No particular life goals, no desire to have a relationship, sex, marriage, friends, social life, career, nothing except basic drive like to sleep, eat and have a roof over my head, and even those basic needs I struggle with. ",5.656567164179107,7.441291373134327,6.191223880597018,74.54146268656717,68.1044776119403,7.748059701492537,28.32537313432836,8.238735603445708,2.113838208955225,290,10,48,4,5,94,52,67,0.201,0.574,0.225,0.4372,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,3,0,5,7,3,0,0,11,7,4,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,6,7,2,3,0,0,0,1,5,2,1,1,1,30,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23673456949352745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24789340406506946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001105439206456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717018764997467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486295986043284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422321079186161,0.11835644958618124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808965282297104,0.3592668084844566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23245588880376744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24646645239915496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26009756697989506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24867735540471225,0.0,0.0,0.24243588028637264,0.2469545016939489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25326371652113555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19989063255135456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bretto2004,2019/03/08,"Beta Blockers vs mental health Anybody been on beta blockers for high blood pressure? What was your experience? I recently stopped taking any beta-blocker and have noticed that i sleep better and have much less depression and anxiety.

I'm in a tough position now, i know I need a medication for lowering my blood pressure (i know there are other medications) but beta-blockers work the best but they make me feel so shitty. 

Just looking to see if others have experienced the same, thanks.",4.250344827586204,7.4266499540229916,5.163919540229887,73.53553448275864,78.19540229885058,7.617931034482758,30.539080459770126,8.548686976883017,3.196306666666666,394,19,59,9,10,128,66,87,0.183,0.696,0.121,-0.2514,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,3,4,7,0,2,4,0,6,6,3,1,0,17,16,7,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,9,3,5,14,4,6,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,1,3,42,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431224306487922,0.0,0.162342505857234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22270464539857387,0.18768531702512792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277890549006007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20758521568449007,0.0,0.0,0.10730136275121806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22557269237651065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22421488152072544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23325363350969966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820562834698508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416539490115423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275649163441688,0.21386097765026044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560011087150451,0.15735338791356734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416061179377393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20953491883722294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910643330430009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21236644306661145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17741972513987572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955790504535236,0.0,0.0,0.195377389230378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449372630314231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eesketit,2019/03/08,"how has anxiety medicine effected you? i have extreme anxiety, i have for years & i haven't been able to get it properly treated due to being under 18. i can now get the help i've needed for years & medication is an option. i did start therapy, my first session is next week which is what I want to try before medication because I've heard a lot of negative things. i've been told it changes people but honestly i feel like my anxiety is severe enough to need medication. what are y'alls experiences with different types of anxiety meds? have they helped or are there symptoms that just aren't worth it?",5.487371794871796,6.650385717948719,6.35135683760684,75.57524038461544,67.8888888888889,10.636324786324787,32.57371794871795,10.686352973137794,3.670300000000001,487,21,91,14,8,161,79,117,0.128,0.7859999999999999,0.087,-0.4289,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,1,2,4,3,0,0,3,0,17,4,0,2,0,12,26,3,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,8,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,5,2,12,3,10,20,2,9,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,3,9,60,20,2,0.14353339131357104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110367390412735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4392106059468539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749662311598037,0.0,0.12213634427405028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518392961612533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996184439761195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830836212092616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040319860310094,0.0,0.0,0.07257479534400331,0.10254028343374283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220894293272566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499805456781667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924148132868992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012316484417111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202695649215177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159433240462536,0.4337843738093861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21285638190803088,0.0,0.0,0.15264939001280473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950798099743444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621518770288073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159367313405633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491861515287712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641429420261586,0.0,0.09535720735090188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715230638847042,0.0,0.09744975092266088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465971301868105,0.0,0.1151338287110477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848615961577068
mentalhealth,panaceamatter,2019/03/08,"Glenn close mental illness Your Full Service Pharmacogenetic Testing Solution Helping individuals obtain PGx data quickly and easily, online to achieve better medication outcomes. PanceaPGx benefits of PGx Testing Optimize Medication, Fewer Side Effects and Dosing based on YOU.",13.571538461538461,17.503888205128206,12.777435897435891,26.60923076923077,51.564102564102576,13.405128205128205,56.589743589743605,12.45797560212912,9.579882051282054,236,17,16,8,3,77,35,39,0.054000000000000006,0.636,0.31,0.8979,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,9,2,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521809761372067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669091857471064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8023015970927139,0.40129813594551067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GirlWizDahCurls,2019/03/08,"Not knowing how to deal with emotions after a brake up. Okay. So I just need some quick tips and tricks, kind words, on how to deal with yourself and emotions after breaking up with someone you have been with for 4+ years. Our relationship had been threw alot in the past 4 years (Like to much to type and talk about) and it was a very hard decision when we decided it would be best to just go our separate ways to work on things by our selfs. He was very mentally and emotionally draining. He always made me feel like I didnt do enough. Like my being just wasnt enough, he always wanted more. (Mind you iv been a stay at home mom for 2+ years, because he didnt want me to get a job) it's been really hard for me to get in my own groove again. i feel like some days I loss myself in my emotions and other days I'm my normal happy self. But I have been having alot more bad days then good. Is this normal? Am I actually going insane? Should I be concerned? I just wanna kick this but I'm just struggling. ",2.3175851393188864,3.7646499282296695,3.5453757388122717,91.54115958345064,76.03349282296652,6.448747537292429,20.906557838446385,7.048011613610866,0.30024154235857026,781,18,175,8,17,254,121,209,0.083,0.848,0.069,-0.1768,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,4,2,0,3,12,13,1,1,7,1,22,1,0,3,0,42,36,13,0,8,8,1,4,4,0,2,1,0,1,2,7,11,0,1,5,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,13,4,22,9,28,18,11,27,0,1,0,0,17,8,0,4,17,116,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.1054139764371844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797660629436286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019393218385788,0.06584926279642181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336251791506913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089959327762694,0.2227320609376904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4860412427522142,0.0,0.22323138801054132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923842774295522,0.15434200385305813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128741660534848,0.0,0.12278288503553615,0.09060380313422382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499152234511135,0.19353314798921456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835496279515401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719525519668886,0.0,0.0,0.11248838274987707,0.059366115062788036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110965450092796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221311242511433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886085859063582,0.0,0.10907151619892792,0.1265141650137349,0.0,0.0,0.07940866455582787,0.08009701021020027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21167742381098725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311930685265942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920171624218563,0.0,0.0,0.11597529738925623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253811950248261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152676541862943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513717401967405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129281414759154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682406329042204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176507598537926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17825907273682284,0.12742845363179747,0.0857429061906037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864136728922454,0.0,0.0,0.07673579268177133,0.0,0.0,0.20868805091287396
mentalhealth,vadoink,2019/03/08,"Weird muscles spasm causing panic attack and anxiety. Hi i have an weird situation going on with panic, anxiety and muscles. I had anxiety issues since i was a kid but it was not anything serious then when i was 19 i hurt my shoulder and herniated disc. Since then i was suffering with a little bit of pain and muscle spasm still nothing that serious but then few yrs back i took L- glutamine supplement which gave me low blood sugar type symptoms and aggravated my anxiety then i lost a bunch of weight started having panic attack, derealization type symptoms and i felt like those muscles affected by my shoulder injury and my back issues(right shoulder, right abdomen and right leg) started to twitch, felt like muscles not working or behaving weirdly. If i stretch or exercise those muscles i get panic attack its been 3 yrs since my first panic attack its gotten a lil better with medication but those muscle symptoms still persist . If i massage 1 muscle other muscles gets spasm. Feel like some kind of dystonia my body feel twisted at times. Did anyone has symptoms like this ?? I cant work im 28 i have no life now . Pls any help would be appreciated.",4.32384546271339,7.1175368113207576,5.267897574123988,75.27512578616354,74.75471698113208,7.434321653189577,31.321653189577717,8.418075326091056,2.956933243486074,932,45,146,18,21,304,125,212,0.28800000000000003,0.601,0.112,-0.9922,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,6,6,25,4,5,5,0,14,18,7,2,0,28,27,20,0,3,9,0,5,4,0,1,9,0,0,1,10,11,2,0,4,1,0,2,4,19,0,1,13,6,21,6,10,12,4,23,0,4,0,0,4,7,0,5,18,92,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582851842428628,0.0,0.26226916478826995,0.0,0.0,0.05992985432113615,0.0,0.07053135557218641,0.0,0.0,0.3900262809169854,0.0,0.13181014403479724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580280820367867,0.09357223049166064,0.09520358172010178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804694169420223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667427745064321,0.06123065820631475,0.16458851535372065,0.0,0.0,0.07290418816300323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955902229342218,0.0,0.04871050446094872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057449059392423174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175345419827524,0.0,0.09258062653700704,0.08945812019650896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892529258969105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06053893141176221,0.16749271194253745,0.0859031190223339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356169908091354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634298586052871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224027367939432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912006147692718,0.5028063019996339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195855245988501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21269856820562175,0.09634071393914337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213308032177419,0.0,0.1368949301847099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563386387273317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04997771447087387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522605712240373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437069597659324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247946135505188,0.0,0.0,0.060885345228010285,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jshishou,2019/03/08,"Girl I was dating had called off our relationship because she is not mentally ready I (23 M) was dating this girl (20 F) and we have so many similarities. We were dating for a month or two (we’re already saying to each other that we love each other) and after awhile I noticed that she was getting distant and not saying it anymore. I confronted her about it and she said that she is in a really difficult position right now because she does not have the energy to do anything in school or at home. She told me that we should stop dating because she doesn’t want me to be involved in her coping mechanisms. She used to go to therapy and she told me that she might go back again. Right now, we’re still friends. I’m confused as to how to deal with my situation right now. Any suggestions?

tldr: used to date nice girl but girl called it off due to her mental health",3.3611710963455117,5.071036761627909,4.500265780730897,84.68011627906978,73.82558139534882,7.70498338870432,25.07641196013289,8.418075326091056,1.5835318936877083,681,22,137,12,14,223,100,172,0.056,0.898,0.046,0.0494,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,5,0,0,0,9,6,1,1,3,0,14,2,0,3,0,26,25,11,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,2,1,3,1,4,11,12,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,8,3,26,3,20,14,2,26,0,0,0,1,35,9,0,4,15,96,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545713012695331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525275643789756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389123172071862,0.0,0.0,0.11526610271245555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770558340757214,0.0,0.25615706567822805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28605532233007336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444065550605864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257665547526793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821813585476282,0.0,0.07318106520677417,0.0,0.1592106082414599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888841216556242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050215164437874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264191125073849,0.0,0.0,0.1420095217687248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823162773034119,0.1485926859588355,0.0,0.0,0.11180295226151493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594712147567623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973276146005636,0.0,0.0,0.1503833179435687,0.0,0.35885837479296423,0.13323913980793553,0.22277939814581227,0.0,0.14175884367534494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574451325685241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186049775645948,0.11710522618950367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018284623959367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676867678188544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682854444451273,0.0,0.0,0.24195191186383055,0.0,0.0,0.08261722146419409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TodayIsSeptember,2019/03/08,"I want to know if I am a sociopath, ask me questions and I'll answer honestly Instead of listing out ambiguous incidents where I felt myself as a sociopath, I think this would be more effective way of figuring out who I am. 

\- I will answer honestly as long as it isn't too invasive, such as asking about my personal information

\- Do not shy away from rather ""vulgar"" questions. Since the topic is sociopathy, I'm not expecting questions I'll hear from pleasant first date. As long as the questions are not designed to poke fun at me, I will reply (please be polite). 

\- I would appreciate if you could ask me questions where I can answer with more than simple ""yes"" or ""no""

​

Note that I am not trying to convince myself to be sociopath, as far as I know, my traits may be that of asperger, autism, simple anti-social/introvert or just plain asshole. I just want to know better about myself through the eyes of strangers.",6.266504702194357,7.030868419540234,6.583688610240332,76.03471786833856,65.95402298850576,9.54566353187043,33.63427377220481,9.573946990214177,3.2319264367816105,731,31,128,14,11,236,102,174,0.01,0.841,0.149,0.969,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,3,10,6,0,0,5,1,18,1,1,1,0,39,30,13,0,9,11,0,1,0,0,5,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,16,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,3,21,6,28,19,2,12,0,0,1,0,13,7,0,11,4,98,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646804635242726,0.1530444646345452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532420416291383,0.0,0.11833527571891345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139357967726124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056176513214372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093288054549325,0.0,0.0,0.10713400578934533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419561289740038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20765841692795872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229256542530648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997570854118503,0.0,0.13825656859507138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7054707108575874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418811416145964,0.0,0.0,0.1283913623177898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070442776408923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551258071273356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857853353308806,0.09997418080168954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894420313850012,0.0,0.1530444646345452,0.0
mentalhealth,swazi_ZA_,2019/03/08,"Help my schizophrenic brother Hey,

​

Long story short. My middle brother(28) was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago. Schizophrenia is not multiple personalities. It is voices and dellusions etc. 

He has started painting and puts his images onto instagram. I know that there are these instagram groups that comment etc. on profiles to gain traction. 

​

Can somebody please suggest some sort of legit group of people that I could enter so that I could do the liking, commenting etc. and in return they comment and thus provide him with motivation. Please.

​",6.4749649122807025,10.356255715789473,5.135394736842105,72.3448464912281,76.05263157894737,6.9561403508771935,34.232456140350884,8.07648339933343,3.6297192982456155,483,25,60,9,12,142,74,95,0.0,0.843,0.157,0.93,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,2,0,14,11,5,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,8,1,8,8,5,12,0,0,0,0,14,5,0,2,6,45,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121581485069965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112743779136429,0.4612308058045236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20204230221929245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128421780429738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4233316324059083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480807645624379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953568051138563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181447908161819,0.0,0.0,0.1119720113053048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771757554709496,0.11047809926894657,0.0,0.2777763037391135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271941252029072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955614021023317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4612308058045236,0.08147894703610901
mentalhealth,justalostthing,2019/03/08,"I’m in a abusive relationship and only a freshman in high school. To sum it up, I’ve been with this boy since the end of eighth grade and we have been going on for almost 11 months. Like all bad relationships, it started of great and then turned wrong. In the very beginning I had a best friend who I had known since kindergarten, she was dating his best friend and we all went on double dates together and it was probably the best months of my life. But what we knew was coming finally happened, and she had to move states. From then on out I was the worst I’d ever been and my boyfriend became his worst to. He pressured me into sending photos and that was the first, biggest red flag. He talked about girls he used to like or found hot to make me mad when he needed to or just to joke and make me upset. I truly don’t even know why. He was very jealous and protective, but those were the main problems only then. Our relationship now is nothing but fighting. He will yell at me over the smallest of things, degrade me of all my self worth, and scream the nastiest of things at me. He’s fake broke up with me so many times and every time he’ll wait till I’m in tears and he says he was kidding, and every single time no matter how horrible of what he’s said or even if the fight wasn’t my fault, the second he’s not mad at me, I stop crying and I act like nothing happened. Because I will do anything to try and avoid him being mad at me. He will accuse me of liking somebody and yell at me for being a no good cheater, but he’s bluntly said how he’s liked the girl I’ve always been worrying about while we are dating or how he’s catching feelings for someone else, how this person looks so much better than me and how I’m to fat or to skinny, and just list all of my insecurities. He makes sure to do this when he knows he’s loosing a fight, just to make me weak. 

I have developed bulimia (when you throw up your food) and anorexia because of him. He always said I was to skinny so I ate till I gained weight and I then started to hate my image so I resorted to throwing up. I’ve become so depressed to where I’ve self harmed. When he finds this out instead of comforting me he yells at me. Mental illness is just attention to him. 

He’s often like this only over the phone, but if he’s angry at me in person he will squeeze my hand till I yell, and grab or punch my thigh and arm until I bruise. My friends have tried so hard to get me out of this situation but I refuse, they have even admitted to giving up on me and just staying out of it because im so stubborn about it. I know what I’m in, I know how wrong and messed up it is, but I love him. Is this love? No, but in my world I’m just used to it and it’s “normal” for our relationship. I can’t imagine breaking up with him and hurting him like he hurts me, because I know how much it sucks... He’s even said to me, the reason he treats me like this is because he knows I won’t leave, because I’m weak. And it’s so true. And I just listen to him say that and do nothing but try and silence my cries. I’ve pushed away friends, family, help. But through all this I still stay because when he’s not the monster he is, he’s the sweetest thing. He can be the reason I’m depressed but at the same time the only reason I’m happy.  ",3.648744588744588,3.973151854256855,4.6509206349206345,89.14685714285716,71.58297258297259,7.372121212121212,25.93391053391053,7.03164865440522,0.9251325252525248,2557,73,578,21,45,836,275,693,0.203,0.6629999999999999,0.134,-0.9959,0,1,0,0,4,0,64.0,6,2,1,6,41,59,10,4,23,0,42,15,6,16,8,122,91,79,0,5,28,0,7,8,4,6,5,12,0,8,29,44,6,6,17,1,1,10,9,33,0,2,25,21,76,26,86,57,16,85,0,5,2,2,89,38,1,10,41,371,105,2,0.0,0.07406068114856483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259182212452052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402181346747982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143800963025375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05872746924426665,0.0,0.052190809744049736,0.2667261959010521,0.06903417065612581,0.0,0.0,0.19679200567122013,0.05528244206777594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384432381232332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732220787650593,0.0,0.0,0.10767453111543003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05221665347759661,0.0,0.05536272920111292,0.0,0.0,0.16514137534208034,0.0565412420634721,0.10532983951064996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892612204710695,0.0,0.03160546314495898,0.0,0.0,0.0684734624507995,0.05713034841445396,0.05316849934886545,0.07558382209159556,0.0685357985420582,0.19317129262717347,0.0,0.032657374963467996,0.059962497029676425,0.03552422007531717,0.052427981982494286,0.0,0.06891428807699987,0.0,0.0,0.11054962760331022,0.06653996027868543,0.05599407555090409,0.061712811103444114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041897185249077984,0.06604217311652168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383026662034206,0.0,0.06751838413925823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611357381576856,0.0,0.0,0.0661859836542598,0.0,0.0,0.04415060665857218,0.24430245697120906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052490213307015615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128301794470286,0.0,0.16689587345511608,0.06337237901197866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299244551946265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978512675951112,0.06643514511885967,0.09189980752616543,0.046348215669611635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124367729477385,0.1799317178238201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901578363728928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915756103548092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739321578520549,0.05981084395552143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928030990931056,0.0,0.26843689079720795,0.0,0.0,0.23783422863404305,0.09941629462247913,0.0,0.06326051280085558,0.0,0.0,0.13041705561133604,0.0,0.0,0.10341302258118314,0.07026058880032893,0.0,0.0,0.05296205503840845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848568092489256,0.1332484835338804,0.049918243312133605,0.05225872663982957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589121931674932,0.0,0.0,0.05024083171314205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458080060369743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457935488348755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731463437159027,0.0679897652306895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797211391415568,0.0,0.1031497920657605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611679686583778,0.0,0.057944699235672026,0.0564029269277544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347898469010423,0.0,0.0,0.13668338212907485,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,agiml,2019/03/08,How to get rid of self harming thoughts ? Sometimes i think like i want to hurt my self i want to turn of my car can in the middle of the street or I think of something disgusting and insulting happing to me . How can i get rid of this ? Because sometimes I can’t study because Of it . I tried to just stop thinking about it . It didn’t work I tried to distract myself and think of something else and did work temporary and then the self harming thoughts come back again.,2.2814775413711565,4.447914074468084,2.668439716312058,94.53388888888892,78.46808510638297,5.454373522458629,27.465721040189123,6.42735559955562,0.9831196217494084,369,16,78,3,9,113,50,94,0.215,0.715,0.07,-0.9498,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,2,1,3,0,5,0,0,2,0,18,17,8,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,5,0,1,6,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,4,0,12,1,15,13,0,9,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,5,50,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408709688453855,0.0,0.1967449016775777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390099182233453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480776089078092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16862312316834455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727548337643384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883947220625508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5050466683912204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484680833251209,0.31920718715096513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491638119515667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41360927911849255,0.0,0.2562267938391372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21912550428796654,0.17552921154113355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903658257968842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23496524361924226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Annjenette,2019/03/08,"Why do I feel scared after suddenly coming into money? I went to the casino this week with $150, and I just kept winning. First, I won $680, then $790, then lost all of it except $360, came back another day then won back what I lost and was at $1,500 again, was satisfied with making what I lost back and was about to leave and go home, but I decided “fuck it” and went back to the Blackjack table and I won... $3,000. I was like wow. Nice, right? But ever since then, I haven’t been sleeping well at all. I’ve been having nightmares every night and waking up in the middle of the night and then not being able to fall back asleep. I thought the money would have eased my worries and I would be over the moon because for years I’ve struggled with debt and bills and even paying for groceries. I payed off one credit card (the only one out of six that I have that isn’t cancelled for non-payment), my late bills, and I have enough money to eat all the food in the world, so why do I feel uneasy and have nightmares since having this money? It feels like I’ve been stuck being poor for so long that my mind is having some kind of crisis or something at the sudden change. I’ve bought some nice things for myself, not very expensive... a magic bullet blender and some whey powder, a few shirts, some makeup from sephora, a massage package at a day spa, I really don’t know why I’m still feeling so uneasy and I really want to be able to sleep good at night again. :(",5.7959,4.90584302333334,5.961166666666667,85.71975000000002,67.1,8.433333333333334,26.41666666666667,6.9077264865688965,1.035366666666667,1137,23,245,7,16,362,156,300,0.151,0.7140000000000001,0.136,-0.7176,2,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,8,16,19,1,2,14,0,26,8,5,1,4,50,50,26,0,3,7,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,11,22,2,1,7,3,14,6,5,6,1,4,20,4,22,13,35,24,9,48,0,3,0,1,0,15,1,5,29,161,33,3,0.2029551271753274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640807341342956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.390149912813674,0.0,0.06185978088234749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606329881288666,0.0,0.0,0.1073498068309965,0.08741393559322096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088926696933215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383688145170243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048534498486804,0.0,0.06702497369195608,0.09179226596519872,0.08549922401403605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20524042083819816,0.0724955917032029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631676374782936,0.12270707269411466,0.0,0.0,0.09381437234912034,0.0,0.0,0.05767203793823985,0.0851145657669381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017902702532209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567326668834252,0.055769415080222436,0.0,0.11447111177843547,0.107450087635854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991536234784106,0.0,0.0,0.08980445046238418,0.0,0.0,0.3323242441444959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773706168096075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246341122193596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28568945744501945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752764669397738,0.07717825986256481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300182514315591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666128483987738,0.0,0.0,0.10159674405535143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16788657847984575,0.0,0.2031016989409475,0.0,0.0,0.0781223861949787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104011336502095,0.0,0.0,0.10608638260306327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741718414047014,0.0,0.0,0.08056185033475675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837296175500199,0.05985409619701701,0.0,0.0813991804777475,0.0,0.09124051663076707,0.18814143621193846,0.27470315193763023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305539166142977,0.0,0.14417349927828071,0.0,0.0,0.06534822387784342
mentalhealth,andrefigueira,2019/03/08,"Is there something wrong with me? Hi, 

I'm a 29 year old male, living in the UK.

I find that I am struggling with my mental health, I don't know where to begin, so apologise if i don't seem entirely coherent and happy to clarify anything, this is gonna be a big post, but i feel like i need to speak to someone who may have some insight or at least have an idea on what it's like to be me, going to give some background on my past, and my behaviour and how i feel. If this is the wrong subreddit, I apologise and will remove and post elsewhere.

I've had a bit of a chaotic life, not as much as others, but enough to make it strange, and difficult to bear with sometimes, but i feel myself slowly unwinding and fearing that i'm going to lose my sanity.

### Child Abuse
I was sexually abused as a child a few times, by the same person, I can't remember exactly how old, but i think it was at 6-7 and again at 11 by the same person (not my parents). I never told anyone, not until I was 25, I don't know why, i was embarrassed, ashamed - I tried to just get on, i feel almost like i didn't even realise the gravity of what happened when it did happen, i guess that added to it.

### Bullying

I suffered bullying throughout school, and to a great degree, no-one else i saw suffered as much as me, I was constantly ganged up on from year 2 to year 7, luckily it died down a lot when i changed schools to secondary, but primary school was very difficult, I still have memories on groups of boys holding my arms and legs whilst they took turns punching and kicking me and the schools never doing anything, instead calling me disruptive (which i may have been sometimes) and a trouble maker. I'd be told go back to your own country, etc...

however, i never started anything i just reacted to people, I felt so alone, I had no friends aside from one, who i am still in touch with these days, but even at a young age, he was the only one who would talk normally to me compared to everyone else.

I even remember my year 2 teacher already writing me off, she hated me, tell me i was going to be a rubbish man or a road sweeper, absolutely horrible things to say to such a young child, but i didn't know why, i never knew why. 

### Violence at home

My dad, whom i love to bits and miss every day, unfortunately, was psyicallly abuse with me and my brother, a trope passed on from Portugal i guess, as psychical violence against children is quite common to educate them and teach them ""discipline"", so throughout growing up, when i misbehaved, i would get beats, usually with the palm of the hand or with a leather belt, I remember one ocassion, there was a church mass from my school with parents and kids, and all the kids had to go up and kiss the statue of jesus's feet, I was about 6 at the time I can't fully remember, but I found this a bit nasty, i didn't want to kiss where all the other kids did, so i pretended to do it when it was my turn, but didn't actually do it. The priest told my dad, and when i got home i got the back of my legs whipped with a thorned rose stem.

There are so many ocassions i was hit, it's almost normalised to me, I've been hit with thorned rose stem, leather belts, wooden spoons, broom handles, the works, so I always feared my dad, we had aside from this form of punishment a relativley normal life. Aside from the fact I was abused too, which my parents never found out about, my mom still doesn't know, and my dad went to his grave never knowing.

### Getting kicked out

At 19, I was still living with my parents, by this point i was no longer beaten, obsviously with times changing and it becoming more unacceptable, this diminished in my house. anyway, at one point my parents had a cousin ask to come live with us temporarily from portugal, to which they agreed, and this cousin ended up poisoning my dad against me to the point where i was kicked out one night, because i asked my mom to pick me up from the train station after a work outing (i was sober).

This was very difficult and was the begining of a trail of debt i would build up which i'm still paying off now. Anyway I was able to stay with one of my best friends at the time, until i found a place a few days later, my dad eventually realised that he was played by my cousin and kicked me out for very little reason, because of bullshit my cousin had fed him, my parents told that cousin to leave and asked me to come back. At this point, i had already put down money for a place, and kind of wanted to experience living on my own, but i reconciled with my dad, I hate conflict, i love my family, i didn't want to be estranged. And everything was just dandy.

### Dad passing away

Fast forward 2 years, I'm 21, I had been with a fiance for a couple of years, and we wanted a change from the dreary UK so we planned with my parents to move back to our family home in Portugal. 2 months before my fiance and i moved to Portugal, my Grandma passed away, my mom and I went to Portugal for the funeral, and when we land we get a phonecall, My dad had a massive stroke and was on the way to the hospital. We were distraught, we tried getting straight on a plane back, but there was nothing available, so we went paid our respects to my grandma and managed to get a return flight the following morning at 5am. It was too late, my dad suffered several more strokes on the way to the hospital. My aunts were the last to speak to him, the last words i know my dad said were, ""I'm scared"". Even writing this now, i'm holding back tears.

This affected my family and I hugely, I still ended up moving back to Portugal, although just my fiance and I, i made the mistake of going anyway, as i could not stay with all the memories, but left my brother and my mom, here, I called every day. and missed them, but being back in Portugal helped, but now i wonder if it only temporarily helped me cope.

### Fued between my mom and my wife

6 months after my dad passed away, my mom had met someone, me and my brother were very very apprehensive about this, we thought it was just too soon. and did not want to meet the person or deal with them until we were ready, our mom didn't listen and forced it, my wife in an attempt to defend my brother and i, ended up getting into an argument with my wife which ended up with them not being on speaking terms for 4 years, this caused a lot of issues between my wife and I, she tried to get me to stop talking to my mom, but i simply couldn't, i had already lost my dad, i didn't want to lose my mom.

I know some people might point fingers at my wife, but she had a bit of a fucked up childhood too, so i don't fully blame her. But this caused me substantial stress, as i felt like i was in the middle of them, and that my wife was trying to control who i talk to.

### Derealisation as a child

As a child, reality always seemed so bizarre to me, almost like it wasn't real, i was just a kid though, but i always had issues with understanding reality and grasping it, this went away eventually however, but it was a very surreal experience, i don't know how else to describe, some people say it's like you're living a movie or a dream, i don't know, but it seemed much more profound than that to me, bearing in mind I experienced this when i was about 5-8 years of age.  Then it just kind of went away and life went on.

### Addiction issues

When i was 13 and living in Portugal, I made a couple of friends who introduced me to smoking, a habbit that even after all these years I have not managed to kick, I try and try, and i will sometimes go clean for a while, but then it's like when i'm presented with the opportunity, the person in me that wants to make a change just disapears.

When I was 23, I went to Amsterdam on a trip, I was living in the UK again, and went with my wife that i had married in Portugal (the fiance that moved there with me) and I tried weed properly for the first time, I had tried it a few times in the past, but never properly gotten high.

Well, I got very very very high, We ordered some Amnesia haze and proceeded to smoke 3 pure joints between us, I felt like i had transcended to another reality, and it was one of the best experiences i had ever had. I didn't have weed again for around 6 months.

6 months after my trip to Amsterdam, I wanted to try weed again (against the wishes and behind the back of my wife, yes i know, i'm an asshole) it had gotten rid of all the pain and anxiety that i had learned to tolerate. And gave me a clarity that i had never experiences, I was able to think on much deeper levels, I felt like i had been a husk up until that point and never truly been objective until then.

I found how i could get a supply here in the uk, and started smoking every chance i could, initially spacing it out, but as i continued, the time between smoking became less and less. I started abusing it, I don't blame weed for any stoner out there who wants to say it's not addictive or harmful. It can be, anything in excess can, and things can be addictive, I am addicted to weed, I'm addicted to the escape.

### Psychedelic uses

A couple of years ago, I tried psychedelics for the first time, mushrooms specifically, and had a similar experience to when i first tried weed, i really enjoyed it, then i got too cocky and tried LSD, I had a very large dose for someone with such limited experience i took 250ug (micrograms) and smoked some weed whilst i was peaking, and all of the trauma i've experienced in my life came to the forefront, it made me realise i had been burying things deep inside my whole life. Long story short, i had a little bit of a psychotic break induced by the intensity of all of these things, again, I don't blame the drug, it was my fault, i broke all of the unwritten rules on harm reduction. Luckily, it all went fine in the end and i came back, I have since had psychedelics again, but have been much more careful, and lowered any doses i did take.

For anyone who wants to blame the drugs for the way i feel, there is no point, i felt like this and worse before i took any drugs, and literally only tried weed twice in my teens.

For a long time, i thought i was just getting on with things, but i've slowly come to realise how much it' affects me, how my personality has been shaped, the fact I have a lot of issues with overeating and self control. Is something wrong with me? What can i do? What should i do? I feel like i'm on a slow spiral towards insanity sometimes. But i have anxiety, and social anxiety as well as depression.

I'm aware i should stop taking all drugs, and i do not take psychedelics regularly, but i have an issue with my weed addiction, i can't seem to get it under control no matter how hard I try. Luckily, I earn pretty well, as somehow with all of this stuff happening i managed to learn how to code, so i make a decent living as a software engineer, but my addiction has caused me to rack up 5k worth of debt despite the fact i'm already earning well.

I live in the UK, so mental health support isn't great, and all the NHS do is give CBT which just doesn't work for me, happy to try private too, but my financial situation isn't the best at the moment, luckily i'm working on that with my mrs.

I tried to add as much as possible about my and my background above, to provide insight into myself. Let me know if there is anything i can clarify, unfortunately, not something i can add a TLDR to.

In addition to the above, i've also moved around a lot, for reference;

Born in Portugal 1989
Moved to UK in 1992
Moved back to Portugal in 2003 with parents
Moved back to UK in 2006 with parents
Moved back to Portugal in 2011 with Fiance
Moved back to UK in 2013 with Wife",8.738236574493277,5.693929925767923,8.785176917183259,74.6784202827889,62.88225255972697,12.161203594065613,37.527582364003614,10.243752486242741,3.4990273002716434,9062,319,1896,152,98,2989,677,2344,0.126,0.782,0.092,-0.9981,15,1,9,0,4,1,317.0,16,1,8,25,116,77,6,9,130,1,170,37,7,28,27,362,325,174,3,28,59,50,19,11,3,11,24,8,5,20,97,139,1,10,53,4,6,45,48,39,4,11,139,30,292,38,319,159,56,312,3,11,1,5,151,121,1,34,150,1320,389,19,0.0434342552731129,0.12865622519164166,0.02119278383995524,0.16572412284597285,0.0,0.0,0.01925092331330661,0.0,0.06523969888627099,0.02249239468846241,0.09586156151011513,0.017367179124772085,0.05421116974931185,0.0,0.0,0.04430517451469167,0.022772301878170483,0.0498406295987201,0.0,0.0,0.03037024118369754,0.0,0.08935672812844497,0.03866569578993893,0.06090774823032965,0.0,0.10201978149335443,0.23378782887913824,0.0,0.02647711887230745,0.02398486124651273,0.03695935215335725,0.0,0.06837235684279674,0.0,0.11854739346187665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435123087471398,0.0496772170148095,0.02214205899615394,0.06692841702261915,0.09189536580446016,0.0561221474789867,0.0,0.023468499824180096,0.07307281586772889,0.052018077837093835,0.07208876599044121,0.0,0.05602300284974238,0.02238940499741521,0.018704930210947213,0.0,0.022538949794475082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073989330680674,0.0,0.054425620378170975,0.0,0.0961746455050027,0.022439598202709358,0.024220337978191776,0.07171978992418376,0.01964438527628679,0.054892850057500144,0.020751646123788662,0.01951795399126318,0.12746110811175534,0.061418925482645215,0.048875612624009565,0.06588499355830357,0.03102944064568642,0.10425924115746367,0.0,0.019849061220872585,0.055417733020365366,0.0,0.09524683807029118,0.05033579682101751,0.02007713455486387,0.12480933133583967,0.04166609543019408,0.08639640875080466,0.0,0.0694766834732779,0.047886419774998114,0.047847729004571744,0.0,0.05761315274127433,0.04623657239492368,0.019454280683764726,0.042882334860555385,0.0,0.04616858227797574,0.0,0.0,0.029113065754760525,0.045890675402135414,0.06535214917746136,0.0,0.0,0.02505864949521544,0.0,0.02451599368381105,0.0,0.11333519482834754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045230093023667935,0.13128681936807698,0.03540471514041476,0.024497865905533198,0.02299530246142699,0.02359572272057645,0.02220723438879308,0.07669724750732904,0.11670880747606087,0.04353253437193899,0.17258959421371742,0.03843794912040042,0.0,0.048591821598389866,0.02370681022698344,0.07385250121906697,0.0392011111705298,0.06164781380366501,0.0434890540009837,0.022017758785501496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04377151346943157,0.0230384404931638,0.021928108055742336,0.22891353672476197,0.06933761634406435,0.2308186978163388,0.11175211332320817,0.016102974965781506,0.15074628886587246,0.0,0.0,0.020380053128336018,0.04255634820206265,0.02083816968144724,0.0,0.04557694448096472,0.0,0.1030126141114804,0.04955056253655655,0.023108554976642257,0.0,0.21702870172453065,0.0,0.04146291134661228,0.045167765585421515,0.09481279091789277,0.045379552250409794,0.0,0.14370793648780428,0.024482798351829312,0.041598010214540425,0.02209412625469564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021831711585641414,0.0,0.02309883845555761,0.0,0.024718845734711645,0.01391254806281295,0.022328824192880268,0.0,0.0,0.09840508844479076,0.0,0.02065796155455342,0.051810994674801714,0.02174263334774081,0.1098944629515242,0.0,0.07908182944819725,0.0226557004544753,0.024534172694691003,0.0,0.01796463239956421,0.024410961375468318,0.0,0.02213787672309704,0.05520255531513407,0.050156717572443485,0.08591517815228045,0.0,0.04611448415579149,0.04629513700958414,0.10405995710226827,0.03631298226553048,0.024876896333160304,0.02270345709966733,0.02486091536659235,0.0,0.024644339082358302,0.0,0.0,0.04898573175842595,0.05236621369227008,0.0189817267754982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213947305756,0.027830916980650242,0.021336967639037082,0.03448194703345755,0.11397088592451225,0.0,0.0,0.08300658449515466,0.07238558364290879,0.2359120658483835,0.04724399727677063,0.0,0.022608295765296986,0.05224606117475737,0.01875662549510104,0.02391834791898469,0.17918904701757069,0.1280932455141607,0.05171413520644036,0.0,0.0,0.07810522346977603,0.1811879540431131,0.0587889894266156,0.024246397442875843,0.02497362500910945,0.0,0.023551298531203527,0.06324131027661963,0.0,0.02213160840777079,0.046281673134533616,0.07123280957628986,0.0,0.13985118173943986
mentalhealth,temptemptempest,2019/03/08,"Is it too late to ask for help? I've been under mental health services for years (I'm 25 now). I've been med free for over a year now and in some ways I do feel better. I can cook, clean, look after myself etc and people are noticing that. However, I'm miserable most of the time. I think people are comparing me to when I was a sedated mess and thinking I'm good now.  

I see my care coordinator once a month but don't say any of things that are happening or worrying me. Voices tell me to shut up, don't talk, stop talking, they are evil, don't trust them, it's a test, it's tricks, it's riddles, shut up, listen carefully. In the past I've been involuntarily medicated. That's still a worry so I don't even mention small things. Every time I say everything is fine. Stupid I know.  

It's looking like I could be discharged from services soon. It might work out okay but I'm still having a miserable time. I spend every day in headphones in the dark to block everything out. I can't live the rest of my life like this. I think I've wasted mine and everybody's time saying everything is fine. I think it's too late to ask for help now. Even if I had the chance I'd probably end up saying everything was fine.  

I'm not sure what to do.",0.7209800664451862,2.8894788333333348,2.8221760797342204,91.24063953488373,84.31007751937985,6.3213732004429675,19.679401993355484,7.5804360353943165,0.5729541528239208,961,27,215,17,28,324,137,258,0.156,0.7040000000000001,0.14,-0.9055,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,2,2,13,19,3,2,11,1,25,4,0,0,1,24,45,10,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,1,3,6,1,0,14,6,1,2,6,1,2,0,6,6,0,0,6,10,23,14,26,36,4,37,0,2,3,0,15,14,0,5,24,125,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976459978361714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19181527781145385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073236441645988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091943301665159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190962842533228,0.0,0.0,0.0661619508663601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086413575591974,0.0,0.11441477462946302,0.1355192253392418,0.0,0.17287270650400927,0.0,0.36880448310000413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187249861545015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604747889073561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071984451691036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904818795370876,0.0,0.0,0.13752759602706185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638068553394612,0.0,0.23145158494552476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246222819972667,0.10024041415614696,0.0,0.0905886960836759,0.0,0.17229923223112975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395416970794088,0.10334845691801887,0.10338641544360086,0.10883159348201724,0.0,0.0,0.08188622052356853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679919711054552,0.0,0.10925481675297202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793359740635256,0.14224573647226027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060918412981358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263341898522541,0.0,0.0,0.08175080914656363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385673547754076,0.08576968838699374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668969711020788,0.0,0.0,0.16491563256175196,0.08966802994459329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631224401906802,0.2629416729807436,0.0,0.0,0.2392838106941292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143102888889013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468661532599698,0.2083698967071021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212896909027091
mentalhealth,darndc,2019/03/08,Sometimes I just really feel like giving up Know that feeling? ,5.90727272727273,8.77057063636364,5.863636363636362,72.61545454545455,69.9090909090909,8.036363636363637,29.181818181818183,8.841846274778883,3.0005636363636365,51,2,7,1,1,16,11,11,0.0,0.502,0.498,0.7133,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4830587825876578,0.3412547307016966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4582342407580172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625204688653037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333703490327365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060140784851468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.472437794131177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tbribri33,2019/03/08,"How do you deal with derealization/depersonalization? This has been happening to me a lot. It’s like the world isn’t real, I’m not real, what’s happening isn’t real. Sometimes it can last for a week, sometimes only for a few hours. Tips on how to “get back to reality?” ",2.3738888888888847,4.434606388888888,5.229407407407408,76.80633333333336,77.7037037037037,8.023703703703704,23.76296296296297,8.841846274778883,1.7998340740740737,211,7,43,5,5,76,40,54,0.0,0.939,0.061,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,2,0,8,10,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,7,9,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,29,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552309319100313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20851801187588545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567089712426056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577102672417051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918233269615152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648663913347326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881251871394772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719516075576717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382550792286687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6906379918176259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40007454732147296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622383078316597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,supplementtolife,2019/03/08,"Workbooks for Anxiety and Depression? Slight backstory inside as well to help pick a workbook. I saw a post on here while I was googling something regarding how to get out of a depressive and anxious slump.  


I was wondering if there were any really good peer reviewed workbooks that help people who need to get their life back in order. I'm sick and tired of being tired and unable to cope with adult life.  


Here's some backstory if it would help with picking a book or two:  


Basically, I've come from a family of alcoholics with no Father figure, and a mother who has mental health issues, physical illnesses as well as narcissism. I'm currently 29, and I'm severely stunted in where I want to be. After graduating from University, I've become stuck in my family house after returning home and have no friends around me and nowhere to go in a city with nothing to do.  


I can't even bring myself to get out of the house. I find every excuse to just sit on my ass and do nothing and will find ANYTHING to do nothing. Even writing this post. I need help. Seriously. It's getting to the point where it's affecting my physical health despite my working out and eating healthy.  


I have things I like, but I just can't bring myself to do them. Sitting here playing games that make me feel like I've achieved something are what I do all day, even if I hate the game. I've deleted some of them cold turkey to find myself going back to that familiar comfort.",5.668117833135625,6.388297284697508,6.245664294187428,78.08936635033614,67.25622775800714,9.660814551206009,32.337089758797944,9.725611199111238,3.0552489521550017,1151,47,215,24,18,375,154,281,0.109,0.7859999999999999,0.105,-0.3079,1,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,3,2,17,12,1,0,10,0,18,11,1,5,1,46,39,21,0,7,7,2,1,2,1,2,9,0,1,1,11,20,2,0,6,4,0,5,4,4,2,1,5,3,24,8,41,30,3,31,0,2,1,1,17,13,1,7,10,143,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040328993023972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025200003758117,0.0,0.07902923193048889,0.1167070022824026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501249260294895,0.09196473634881457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887272836098246,0.0,0.0,0.11409397378398642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898944987781293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662418173638643,0.0,0.1779555691554727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570839643251664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469901611607366,0.0,0.0870402282926043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477645230284293,0.0,0.05223489830063915,0.07380222364378791,0.0,0.0,0.2832609595646813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981438824914668,0.0,0.21589364498898933,0.0,0.11742299198926193,0.0866486371170336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101993835592601,0.0,0.2196200745932211,0.0,0.0,0.2769768252445543,0.0,0.10362489792131624,0.0,0.0,0.23840378888870195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782520369533977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593695008642038,0.10094072926536712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895792775397758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410870963434997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320100330846745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973762775909715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161975783556106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765808625027857,0.0,0.1978782465366077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618082454730989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167070022824026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590608665186868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863228486690988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374713762831493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091549335609183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093288281049899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576999940428435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203155230212797,0.07520840252739296,0.0,0.0,0.07338601277167776,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,branpsy,2019/03/08,"Instagram use: Effect on well-being (18-24 year old participants needed)   

For my 3rd year dissertation project as a student at Edge Hill University, I am completing a study regarding different levels of interaction users have with Instagram, and possible effects of this on well-being, in particular self-esteem and loneliness.

If you are interested in participating, you must meet the following criteria:

· Identify as male or female.

· Be 18 – 24 years of age.

· Be an Instagram user.

If you wish to take part, please be aware that it may require up to 15 minutes of your time.

Also, please be aware that possible items in questionnaires provided, have the potential to arouse distress in certain individuals. Should you feel any discomfort, there is no need nor pressure for you to continue, and are advised to exit the link.

​

For further details, and to participate, please follow the below link:

* Please make sure to answer 'yes' or 'no' to the first three questions of the consent form to ensure confidentiality.
* You will also be asked to provide a memorable word, in order for your data to remain anonymous.

[https://edgehill.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/survey-protected](https://edgehill.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/survey-protected) 

Thank you for your time.

[http://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth](http://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth)",11.222949080622342,13.905609470297033,9.372786421499297,53.56326732673267,55.78217821782178,12.10806223479491,38.190947666195186,11.765960540728905,5.49938783592645,1091,48,135,32,14,331,134,202,0.053,0.8170000000000001,0.131,0.9134,1,0,0,0,0,0,75.0,0,10,0,4,3,7,0,3,10,1,15,1,1,4,3,29,26,13,0,7,4,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,8,0,0,2,3,3,0,2,0,1,12,4,34,17,3,25,0,0,0,1,16,13,0,6,9,94,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21466685737722527,0.0,0.14542425619734348,0.16308856197092853,0.09127228348646407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547494336485218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072415745693492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402283842527723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786423792962677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416506297102368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959100847282946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19904067353101665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083835046403032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453441243152227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5893206267615817,0.0,0.30261940319893377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503539563108153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001778824590233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649810179138507,0.0,0.10091461425943228,0.0,0.0,0.123569144779097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652623157830153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159205482107251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413547235642788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543431307844347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308856197092853,0.2592943862858677
mentalhealth,BootyIsABeast,2019/03/08,"How to know whether you’re relapsing or just in a slump? i suffer from chronic depression and anxiety as well as OCD. generally they tend to fight for the spotlight and i’ve learnt over the years how to manage this and had therapy a couple years back to help. 

lately though i feel like i’ve been really depressed. a bad day turns into a bad week, my self esteem and internal monologue are very negative and now it’s all just a kind of blur. 

i am still getting on with a lot of different things and being fairly productive which differs greatly from when i’ve had depressive episodes before so i’m not really sure how to deal with it. i keep telling myself “you got out of bed today, you saw a friend today, you had a bath etc so you can’t be that bad” but the feelings of worthlessness, self loathing and constantly being on the edge of tears just aren’t going away. i don’t know whether i just need to wait it out and am just going through a tough time, or if it is more than that.

i feel like i’m losing myself and i really don’t know what to do. i’ve reached out to local counselling services but even the private ones are booked solid with a huge waiting list. it took me months of therapy to finally get to a point of sanity, and i can’t bear the thought of having to go through that all over again. i feel like all my progress has been lost and i don’t know how to cope.",4.538814291323124,4.9225417526501785,5.218698468786809,85.65008932076955,69.63604240282686,8.833058500196309,28.443070278759322,8.841846274778883,1.9421301138594425,1088,36,233,18,18,352,154,283,0.136,0.78,0.084,-0.9136,2,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,0,4,1,3,19,20,1,0,17,0,22,1,0,4,4,55,48,28,0,2,13,0,4,3,1,0,1,0,2,2,12,18,0,3,9,2,0,4,8,12,1,1,10,5,21,8,41,35,6,33,0,7,1,0,12,13,0,5,19,159,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248382126611818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013026700110832,0.08290875040841836,0.27008153655261685,0.0,0.0,0.09174889909117416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651768208790687,0.0,0.0,0.1193034064201161,0.0,0.06953651154270402,0.11116013350535324,0.2786017591397248,0.0,0.0,0.22530286477693656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025044897403027,0.07121566137080056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21807292871444844,0.2310849773700423,0.0,0.11811414080041985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330329896914199,0.0,0.11266548080225285,0.0,0.18383382035701876,0.0,0.08623540254073682,0.11887454838341414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227106473849837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583748047412248,0.0,0.11228041074675538,0.23702542860840506,0.0,0.12162833469534788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580296973881648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206256570187754,0.11770085851418495,0.0916667269202052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606279053238547,0.0,0.0,0.07994892437902146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306323133444828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192699504588616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20722132190299014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249645032967611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086107087447425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162131181326843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942415076582032,0.0,0.24660856379809276,0.0,0.07163239449203744,0.0,0.10593493536914377,0.0855989213694194,0.0628720935765762,0.0,0.20440600711668214,0.0,0.11979462521875248,0.0,0.1172797813344896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896475092334849,0.0,0.0,0.08648860496993606,0.0,0.09694526350039323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886814799082225
mentalhealth,rexskelter,2019/03/08,"After six and a half years of suffering I conquered severe clinical depression and anxiety - now here is what I know and my solution to getting well and staying well. This is Part 1 (I'm still writing part 2).  
I use research from the best scientific journals and resources to inform my understanding of physiological functions and as the basis for my solution to conquering clinical depression and anxiety.  
When I am sharing my opinion I will do my best to state clearly that it is my opinion (based on my experience). 

I'm going to give my firm opinion on a few things:  
Clinical depression and anxiety can be cured. I am living proof. I know exactly how to do it and how to tailor the process for individuals suffering from clinical depression and anxiety.  
I write ""clinical depression and anxiety"" because the two are so heavily interlinked, it's highly likely if you suffer from anxiety you will suffer from clinical depression, and it's highly likely if you suffer from clinical depression you will suffer from anxiety. This is backed up by quality scientific research and easily explained - if I don't get the time to do so in this post, I'll make sure I explain it in part two. 

Clinical depression is a cluster of symptoms that destabilize the homeostasis of our brain and body, the symptoms are debilitating and effect one of the the most important parts of our physical being, our brain, and these symptoms, under the umbrella of clinical depression, function in a self fulfilling cycle that, sadly all to commonly, destroys the ability of a person to live their best life, and tragically all too commonly, destabilizes a person so intensely and so severely that they end their life.  

Alright so I’ll try and keep this as brief and simple as possible.

To conquer depression we have to understand exactly what clinical depression is. To understand what clinical depression is we have to understand exactly what clinical depression affects. (Anxiety is part of this, but for now, I am writing specifically about clinical depression, but the information is useful because the two are so heavily interrelated). 

The three main things that clinical depression affects:

The Brain (as in the fleshy organ inside our skull)  
The mind (as in the non-physical thing that is who we are, our experience with the world, etc)  
The body (as in everything that we physically are, apart from the brain).  
  
The next important thing to understand is that every part of us that isn’t the brain exists to support the successful life of the brain. The primary job of our heart is not to make sure the our elbows, or our pinky fingers, or our hair is successful and healthy – obviously this is a part of what the heart does, but the primary role of the heart is to support the brain. The same goes for everything else.  

The brain is an organ made of flesh that has no muscle or bone or cartilage. It is pretty much a big lump of nerves, aka neurons. Nerves transport messages. They transport messages using electricity and chemicals. The brain is the house of our mind which is our personal experience of the world.  
The brain and the mind are connected obviously. But what I want to make really clear here is that the brain as a physical thing is changed by other physical things – and these changes inevitably affect our mind.

I want you to think of a projector – like a movie projector. Our brains are like the physical box of the projector and all the wiring and such inside. Our minds are the projection up on the wall, coming from the projector.

Now I want you to understand that healthy adult brains do not change in size – I want you to understand this because it’s important for my next point. Our brains, healthy adult brains, do not change in size, despite the continuous increase of information we gather throughout our lives. This has nothing to do with the saying “we only use such and such amount of our brain” what it means, what it shows, is that our brains are able to take in lots of information over time, without becoming cluttered, because our brains have a natural system that orders information based on value.

This is really important to understand. Read this slowly now. Our brains naturally value information and the value of a piece of information is based on how often it is used by the brain.

I will show you an example of what I mean.
I don’t want you to think of a red car.

Stop thinking about a red car.

I told you, do NOT think of a red car.

Why are you thinking of a red car?

You’re thinking of a red car because our brains naturally value information which is immediate to us.

It doesn’t matter that I am telling you NOT to think of a red car. What matters is that the action of thinking, or not thinking, of a red car, is immediate information that our brains must process. It’s up to us to say “Okay, I know I can’t NOT think of a red car when someone says don’t think of a red car, but what I can do, is accept the fact that I think of a red car, and just let that thought go by, whilst thinking about what other more interesting thoughts I have”.

The reason I’m explaining this is because it is fundamental to understanding how our brains work in terms of processing information, which is fundamental to our minds and our experience of life.

Every moment our brains and minds are processing information from our surroundings, but also processing our internal thoughts. It’s a lot of information and a lot of it is deemed by our brain not to be worthy of specifically noticing, or focusing on. This is normal, natural, and just the way our brains work.

We have two levels to our mind – we have the immediate conscious experience which is what we deal with mostly– and then we have the lower conscious experience which is very important but we don’t deal with it a lot, or at least most of us don’t, because it’s just something that’s been there since the beginning, and nobody really talks about it.

Basically the lower conscious experience of our mind is information that our brains/minds consider to be just a bit less valuable than the information involved in the immediate conscious experience.

To put it really simple – the lower conscious experience of our mind is where our self esteem and our personality live. It plays a big role in the cycle of depression and also in getting out of the cycle of depression. I’ll go into that a bit more after I cover some other stuff.

Our thoughts physically exist. They exist in bits and pieces. These bits and pieces eventually make up a whole clear thought but for the sake of the explanation, let’s just call them bits and pieces. The bits and pieces are electrical and chemical. Essentially, they are the information that travels through the nerves of our sensory organs and into the nerves of our brain.

The most important thing to understand here is that the brain doesn’t have simplistic or set in stone nerve pathways.

The brain utilizes billions of nerves to create more complex information from the information we gather through our senses. What I am saying is this:

When I see a red rose I think of valentines day.

What happens when I see is a red rose is that the visual information goes along the nerves of the eye and into my brain. It’s just a red rose. The red rose itself does not belong to valentines day. It’s just a plant. But my mind creates more complex information from the information we gather through our senses. My brain, which has information about valentines day, connects the information of valentines day with the information of the rose and I experience the thought of not just the rose but also valentines day in my mind.

What all of this means is that, believe it or not, we are able to influence what we think and why we think it. And this is a wonderful thing but also a terrible thing. It is the reason why we have everything we have as humans but it’s also a big part of the reason why we suffer so much mental ill health. I will tell you more about how to deal with this towards the end.

As I said, the brain uses electricity and chemicals to function. The chemicals interact with the nerves which then create the electric pulse which then sends out another chemical from the nerve which interacts with another nerve and so on and so on.
One of the most well known chemicals is serotonin.

I’m gonna cut thru all the bull and give you the facts.
There is nothing magical about serotonin.

It’s just a neurotransmitter.

If you think of neurons as lazy buggers that just wanna stay in the physical place they are in but they still want to socialize then serotonin is the thing that takes a message from one neuron and delivers it to another neuron. That’s pretty much what all neurotransmitters do. They are chemicals, and they move around between neurons (nerves).

There’s lots of different neurotransmitters. Pretty much each neurotransmitter does a variety of functions – which means it interacts with a variety of different neurons.

For example: The majority of serotonin in our body is in our digestive system because serotonin acts as the messenger between the automatic and slow moving muscles of our digestive system, and there's a lot of them, and serotonin is the big reason on how it works! But serotonin is also vital as a neurotransmitter for our brain.

But where does serotonin come from?

Serotonin is created in our bodies from food that we eat. It’s a chemical. And chemicals are just different combinations of pieces of matter – as in – the tiny molecules that make up our universe and everything. The reason why I am saying this is because serotonin doesn’t magically come from somewhere in our body, it’s something that can only be created within us if we ingest the materials needed to create it – if we eat well. The chemical that is used to create serotonin is called tryptophan and it is available in a variety of different food sources. 

Here’s something really interesting though: Serotonin is the chemical that is needed in order for our bodies to create melatonin! And melatonin is a chemical, otherwise known as a neurotransmitter, which has a variety of functions, probably most importantly, it regulates our sleep patterns, it makes us feel sleepy.

The final chemical/neurotransmitter I want to quickly discuss is dopamine. Dopamine is often thought of as some kind of happy drug. It’s pretty much bull. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that has a variety of functions. For example, it is the messenger between nerves that control physical movement. The main source of what we use to create dopamine is a chemical called tyrosine. 

The process our brains and bodies use to create neurotransmitters is called biosynthesis. 

The biosynthesis of dopamine and serotonin requires iron, the mineral. This is essential to the process to creating serotonin and dopamine, if we don't have enough iron available, then we are predisposed to becoming ill with clinical depression and anxiety, because our body and brain cannot create serotonin and dopamine without sufficient iron, and without serotonin and dopamine, our body and brain cannot maintain balance and things go down hill. 

The reason I have written all of that is because it’s important to know why doctors say “eat healthy”. Especially when they say it to patients suffering from mental illness. Sadly, it’s never really explained in the simple detail as I have.

So now we know that our brains require certain chemicals to function well. And a brain that functions well means our minds function well, because we know the two are linked. And we know that we get the chemicals our brain needs by eating a healthy diet.

Now I want you to understand something really important. The brain uses more energy than any other human organ – it uses 20 percent of the total energy of a human, on average. We eat food that has particular molecules which neurons use to do what they do – I’m not just talking neurotransmitters, I’m talking about energy, as in, fuel. The chemicals from the food we eat are taken to the brain via the bloodstream. Now here’s something we don’t think about often – energy is never created nor destroyed. Why do I say that? Well it’s because it’s true and it’s super important to understanding our brains. Because our brains use up so much energy, so much fuel, the fuel doesn’t just disappear! Our brains create lots of waste – what I mean is, there are heaps of leftover chemicals or molecules from the chemical reactions in the brain – and many of these chemicals can interact with our neurons in bad ways, so these chemicals which were part of an important process, now need to be cleaned out. How does this happen?

SLEEP!
Yes! Sleep is not just “rest”. It’s cleaning! I want you to think of it as cleaning from now and forever. Sleep is so massively vital, good sleep, because it is the main and most important way that toxic chemicals are cleaned from our brains. Here’s the good news though, if you don’t sleep well now, you do have time to fix that because our brains excrete a chemical which protects the neurons in our brain from the waste – however, this chemical is limited, so prolonged chronic lack of sleep drains this protective chemical, which then means our brains are damaged by the toxic waste. Unless we get good sleep of course.

So NOW, when doctors say, eat well and sleep well, we know what they mean is:

Eat a healthy diet so that your brain can function to it’s healthiest potential, which means, YOU, functioning at your healthiest potential.

Make decisions to ensure you get good sleep (aka sleep hygiene) so that your brain is able to get a GOOD CLEAN every night and be nice and fresh for the next day – which means, YOU will function at your healthiest potential.

Now I want you to understand this:

Our thoughts impact our feelings, our feelings impact our decisions, our decisions impact our behaviour, our behaviour impacts our existence, our existence impacts our thoughts, our thoughts impact our feelings… and so on and so forth.

When I say our existence – let’s think of two very important parts of our existence – what we eat, and our quality of sleep.

Clinical depression is not one singular thing. It’s not a broken finger bone. Or a pimple.

The definition of clinical depression is:  

Clinical depression is an illness, a medical condition. It significantly affects the way someone feels, causing a persistent lowering of mood.  
Depression is often accompanied by a range of other physical and psychological symptoms that can interfere with the way a person is able to function in their everyday life. The symptoms of depression generally react positively to treatment.  

As you can see, it’s a few different things. But I want to make it really clear, clinical depression is a cycle that sustains itself unless we know how to breakfree from that cycle. 

Depression is a cycle. It’s a few different things in different areas of who we are that can exist by themselves, but when they also have a tendency to impact each other, and to fuel each other. I’ll break it down.

The cycle of depression can look like this:

I don't eat because I hate myself.

The reason why I hate myself is because I slept all day and accomplished nothing.

The reason why I slept all day is because I was unable to sleep the night before due to anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, and hunger.

The reason why I felt anxious, fearful, angry, and frustrated, is because of intrusive thoughts and feelings of guilt, insecurity, confusion, and hopelessness. I felt hungry because I was crippled by so much anxiety I couldn't go to the shops to get food without having a panic attack dismantle me to the very core of my being, I felt guilty for not being strong enough, and I felt confused and hopeless because I didn't know why this was happening to me or how to overcome it. 

Then I hate myself for suffering all of this, and because of that, I don't eat. At that point I just want to die and stop being a burden to myself and everyone around me. And the cycle continues. 

Thoughts of insecurity and guilt and confusion and fear came from something – it’s different for everyone, but we are all insecure, or guilty, or confused, or fearful throughout our lives – these feelings are generally linked to something specific, and the situation or the feeling is resolved. We move on. However, with depression, people often feel like they can’t escape these feelings, and they can’t move on, and after a while, they may not even know why they feel those feelings.

Those feelings contribute to behaviour which creates a malnourished and unclean brain. The malnourished and unclean brain then has to work extra hard to do basic things. The experience of being unable to do basic things as easy or as normal as we once were able to contributes to feelings of fear, anxiety, uselessness, dejection, and ultimately a loss of all hope. These feelings contribute to behaviour which creates a malnourished and unclean brain.

So that’s one common and typical example of the cycle of clinical depression and anxiety, and those are some common and typical examples of the catalysts for how people enter the cycle of clinical depression and anxiety.  

If you have any feedback, comments, queries, questions, or conundrums, please let me know. 
Part two is taking a while to write because I have take a whole lot of complex information and make it easily understandable without potentially misleading or misguiding people. But I will get it done soon :). 
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mentalhealth,dicree,2019/03/08,"I feel like I'm being limited by my own mind. Starting out, for context i'm a 17 year old male, in a central-european middle class family. 

I have a really tough time with my mind. I feel like it doesn't connect with me, like I can't control my thoughts sometimes.

I want to do things but it's like i'm stuck in a shell that is limiting me.

I love going out with friends, having fun and joking around and I want to be a really social person, but I have a really tough time actually putting my thoughts into words and I feel so dumb for it, so I rather keep quiet around people because I fear that I might embarrass myself.

Lots of times I have been called out as really quiet or serious, but I just can't think of anything to say. 

I just feel like I don't belong. My mind would rather be daydreaming about anything else. 

I even come off as rude or unconsiderate sometimes because i don't think my actions through or I just can't hide that that I'm really not interested in something. I really hate myself for this. 

I'm always really trying to be cautious about everything, because one of my biggest fears is ruining opportunities.

I like writing because I have lots of time to think about what I want to say and how I want to say it. It's the only time I can actually kinda express myself, but it takes a long time. 

I envy people who are good at improvising so much, because that is something that I would absolutely love to do, but I really struggle with it.

I just love being creative so much, but I feel so limited.

In elementary school I didn't really have a problem with studying, all I really remember is that I could do things well, but REALLY slowly. 

Looking back at old recordings even my talking would be weird and kinda slow-motion, which I kinda grew out of, but my friends say it still comes back sometimes. 

Now that I'm in highschool more and more problems are emerging. 

I don't mind paying attention when something interests me, I can spend hours being hyperfocused on something if I just found some new thing that interests me, but as soon as I lose interest I start daydreaming and thinking about anything else, and I can no longer focus.

I just can't pay attention even if I know it's important.

I procrasinate until the very last day, every time, because I cannot get myself to start working, because I have really poor self control and a really short attention span, and I would rather do anything else than what I have to do. Responsibilities are my worst enemy.

The only way I can read books, even if the story is good, is if I have the text in front of me, and the audio version playing at the same time, else I just get distracted by my own thoughts.

I don't like keeping still. I walk up and down in bus stops, I constantly express things with my hands when speaking, even if I'm talking online, fidget with my hands, tap with my feet. People sometimes say that it can be quite annoying to them.

I also have really bad memory. Everybody has those moments sometimes where they suddenly forget what they wanted to do a minute or a couple of seconds ago, but that is an everyday thing for me, sometimes multiple times a day, and it is really annoying. I keep repeating the thing I want to do in my head so I don't forget it, and I still manage to forget it. I even forget whole words sometimes when writing.

Another thing that happens sometimes, although not too often, is that I'm thinking about something or trying really hard to remember something and my mind just start to fill with multiple things at once and it's like my thoughts are ""overloading"", and i have to calm myself down before I can think straight again, because at that point everything in my mind is just a jumble. 

I also have a problem when I am left alone with just my thoughts, when I'm in bed for example. I can give myself unintentional panic attacks, so I have to do do something that I can think about until I just fall asleep.

I obsess over new and exciting things, and think about it for weeks and then just suddenly lose interest in it, even if I loved it. Games, books, history, music, movies, hobbies, they are all so exciting when new but I get bored of everything. It's just the worst, because every time that I find something new that I am passionate about I already know that no matter how much I like it now, after a month my brain will think it's no longer new and stimulating enough and I will start to hate it. I have also spent lots of money this way on things that I don't care about anymore.

I'm also: a perfectionist, a control freak, manipulative, kinda selfish (which I really hate about myself), and messy.

I'm self-aware but it's difficult to control these things for me.

I know this is a lot of things, and I don't mean to share my whole life story and bore everyone, but I really want to know if there is something wrong with me, and what could help me. I have hid all of these things from everyone in my life so far. 

I never got a diagnosis. I'm kinda afraid of seeking medical help, because I fear that it might affect my employment, or my social status, or my relationship with my family, and I also don't feel like people in my country (Hungary) really take mental health problems seriously. Where would I even start?",6.445358479118212,6.311259586510268,7.091334647925308,75.63631231671556,65.54936461388074,10.417831260322918,32.398439343378165,10.085429814115964,3.1059486769811566,4139,151,785,86,58,1370,339,1023,0.16899999999999998,0.6940000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.9909,1,1,9,0,0,0,117.0,0,0,4,12,73,72,8,9,29,0,87,15,6,9,4,192,163,84,0,28,45,0,9,10,2,9,4,9,1,3,69,48,0,11,32,6,6,10,21,38,1,2,11,19,133,34,107,133,22,113,0,3,1,5,35,42,1,27,69,571,202,11,0.0,0.0,0.06395966227519126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02904957090354811,0.0,0.0,0.033940939021944935,0.03616368397883628,0.13103504002609606,0.027268150446033892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03436331791886865,0.0,0.0,0.03250008959611909,0.0,0.0,0.10787117343850558,0.05834638957854351,0.0,0.037281816233589525,0.0,0.05039785068918695,0.027362469554445826,0.19976936417151395,0.0,0.02788576172307604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03658334541570919,0.033462920322997705,0.0,0.033412283779381914,0.0,0.0,0.056458739698415625,0.0,0.035413878001954724,0.1470221392241297,0.05233005592517698,0.036260558950975866,0.0,0.04226925033742015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950407537439516,0.0,0.0,0.033861269323438505,0.0,0.1731598293698502,0.0,0.055222069573530805,0.06262831196482438,0.08835755757794897,0.0,0.0617872850941673,0.11062967354356296,0.09942020757668307,0.09364661855062774,0.0,0.0,0.029952158757291587,0.0,0.0,0.03593178013894493,0.05063768543950015,0.0,0.05136458502262798,0.03143699067765715,0.01862455085528004,0.05497362726626742,0.026210013538744012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02897934362759881,0.0,0.029356436411022174,0.09706392312469002,0.033632566070350006,0.03483410854047981,0.0,0.0,0.04393150676975556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032272896767865066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738528214879958,0.0,0.0,0.07204047884995028,0.026712791019236168,0.0,0.0,0.035605856874306584,0.0,0.046294343254301616,0.16010286518195715,0.0,0.0,0.029001360355225856,0.02751944011911656,0.07332487610499606,0.0,0.11144314668194276,0.11830865874978932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035697295813956566,0.0,0.03301339924420939,0.033025524630471835,0.06952984017662492,0.19853659568805515,0.0,0.02615755059495823,0.0,0.07227150808234457,0.0,0.02527506479436108,0.15825248888742008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687754378696056,0.034900113580601896,0.022206521057933856,0.04984774171745615,0.0,0.03844978263140364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087731793945286,0.02861442900693292,0.0,0.0,0.030979247981757538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254299295055678,0.0,0.03294397070370805,0.0,0.034856060386491104,0.03277993227064984,0.0,0.3988856716958918,0.0,0.0,0.03518385845970762,0.07424645424853299,0.0,0.0,0.13030432695736913,0.0,0.033166066286399926,0.0,0.0,0.06837473361778025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681194549012562,0.0,0.22705889473926802,0.2592913616460666,0.0,0.13917316643594438,0.0,0.07851304202051007,0.027398076857764585,0.0,0.034259431406937886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927952337035763,0.05268027972291103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830313034290829,0.1889853709050915,0.0,0.13008282108583738,0.19109070930269034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04449880255307094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02703955982660888,0.13530455812890813,0.05202429040054623,0.026286970784861342,0.0,0.029465122142406614,0.0,0.0,0.07317544516792822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02385772486096922,0.0,0.0,0.11639811793054396,0.03583001394734914,0.0,0.021103490745696816
mentalhealth,oscarej11,2019/03/08,Zopiclone Does anyone know anything about zopiclone? ,10.598571428571423,13.544729571428572,4.317857142857143,70.33964285714289,110.42857142857142,1.4,46.35714285714285,3.1291,3.867342857142857,45,3,3,0,2,11,6,7,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4678208893813168,0.0,0.5505777023291221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5854971387305237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676967632368125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sashi-mi,2019/03/08,"Is this normal? I would like to think that I have some normalm self esteem issues but I’ve realized that my insecurities hold me back from expressing any emotion at all. 

For example, I won’t smile because I hate how yellow my teeth are or I won’t want to socialize because I think everyone thinks I’m ugly,fat,boring.Even though my friends tell me that I’m pretty, skinny etc , I think they’re just giving out free compliments.

 I don’t even really feel like myself, more like a watered down version of it.

I’m finding that my mental health just gets worse as I continue to isolate myself because these insecurities and I don’t know what to do. I can’t just accept them.

I know everyone has their ups and downs but my range of emotions for the past year has been kinda just meh or the feeling of wanting to cry but not being able to. 

What should I do ?
",4.989920255183415,5.574629023391815,5.930037214247744,80.2353110047847,68.70760233918128,8.791281233386497,28.995746943115364,8.841846274778883,2.170106432748538,677,23,133,11,11,224,108,171,0.128,0.6679999999999999,0.203,0.919,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,0,8,10,1,2,3,0,16,4,2,1,1,34,32,10,0,5,10,0,2,3,1,4,1,1,0,1,9,3,2,1,11,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,1,4,24,8,18,26,5,9,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,4,7,90,33,0,0.1456739268563782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906326563414188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201425783768162,0.0,0.266404421145429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001596833110296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32772712107781965,0.0,0.0,0.16246493560836872,0.1924325096102255,0.0,0.0,0.2783953596605162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731422886068676,0.10406948245322348,0.0,0.0,0.13314333004102802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254731452943817,0.0,0.07610861431285364,0.13974370459268054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143822843804444,0.0,0.15484457222840514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15204573236367425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011716099590995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21350676716328024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468050553979709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272951881597978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906224653281604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482027543349864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332244773827836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196967601414182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849622327988998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273254329107094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37336788109682384,0.1431238935094665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718445126823846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845417673839378,0.10348257804962488,0.0,0.0,0.09380923278820673
mentalhealth,mw__throwaway,2019/03/08,"I just got my aspergers diagnosis I don't know if this is the right sub for this but I just needed to wrote something to clear my head. 

All my life I've had issues with social interactions, struggled to get and keep friends at school, interactions with strangers have been awkward, I've never understood any social cues and I've struggled with empathy
I've had repetitive interests and I've been strict about having a set schedule for everything.

During the last year and a half things have gone much worse, I missed half a year of school because of depression and anxiety issues, I've even struggled to go the grocery store without getting anxious. I don't have any friends and barely keep contact with my family. 
For the past year I've been going to a doctor and a psychiatrist. They have helped me massively. 

Now, maybe a month ago my doctor first mentioned aspergers to me, she described the charasterics of it. At first I thought that ""no way I have some autistic personality disorder, I'm fine, I'm just a loser"" I decided to try to forget about it and move on, after a week when I saw my psychiatrist and she also mentioned it and explained apsergers to me, it just hit like rock, every charasteric she described to me fit perfectly. 

Today I had a joint session with my doctor and psychiatrist and after while we reached the conclusion I have aspergers.

I don't know how to feel. I just feel numb. I feel like a fraud, all the charasterics fit but it just feels like a easy way out of my situation that I might actually have something wrong with me and it's just not me being a fucking loser and an idiot. 

/rant over",5.702565284178183,6.8523360645161295,6.306497695852535,76.14069892473124,67.38709677419354,9.517665130568359,32.181259600614446,9.725611199111238,3.1002549923195093,1300,54,237,28,21,424,153,310,0.18,0.687,0.133,-0.9555,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,1,6,14,20,2,4,20,0,20,7,1,1,5,58,45,21,0,2,12,0,4,3,2,1,5,0,0,1,11,22,0,2,11,1,1,4,7,12,0,4,12,5,34,8,34,30,4,34,0,4,1,1,18,8,1,3,22,160,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.1018384615732635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092507167953833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345514290574775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193418685608258,0.0,0.07983366854975098,0.11789496000471532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361573527128249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988348727111571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960343528326076,0.3204448430126464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689275474651559,0.0,0.08792620864793775,0.0,0.09379034026575428,0.0,0.09837953852391282,0.0,0.21106638421241605,0.1491069093470389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775339101992424,0.0,0.0,0.1612536339107528,0.09647739113971274,0.10904561056096523,0.0,0.1186182377532922,0.0,0.08346471390407655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710152822974213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994904139390154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21784550761405552,0.0,0.18551656636104816,0.0,0.0,0.11470497616942305,0.0850657881845098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737112193663247,0.15295230372027516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484174823147782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070746319073174,0.0,0.0,0.08329764780976975,0.11091615554367673,0.07671521848691251,0.0773802162874053,0.08048740794620114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996216244117678,0.0,0.09112147641823053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912125578214035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21123195757423174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730288813285515,0.0,0.21275990214445786,0.0,0.16067994318935136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272932656066186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933089121625577,0.0,0.0,0.08284868246798224,0.0,0.0,0.09891928605661228,0.0,0.0,0.07085230647965618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566922057958866,0.08370978110026603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059749406314224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634982970665932,0.0,0.11409921093226093,0.0,0.20160960407706652
mentalhealth,MentalMentalOT,2019/03/08,"Responsibility over my parents mood Since I was a child of about 10 I can remember my maternal grandfather telling me to look after my mum (in different ways: cleaning my room, not being naughty, etc) when he could tell something was up with her (my parents relationship has been volatile at times, part of which was/is to do with my dad's relationship with his parents in law). This impacts me today as I still feel responsible for other people's moods, particularly my mum.

I'm wondering if others have experienced this or if it has a name. Also if anyone has any experience with treatment methods which can alleviate those feelings or help to change that thought pattern? (I assume CBT could be helpful)

Thank you and happy international women's day",7.112761437908496,8.441138544117651,7.569509803921572,67.70751633986931,64.29411764705881,10.162091503267973,36.43464052287582,10.25414643259724,4.0047395424836605,606,29,100,14,9,199,100,136,0.0,0.916,0.084,0.8807,4,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,14,0,0,0,0,21,21,9,0,5,6,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,9,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,16,2,18,13,2,13,0,0,1,0,19,6,0,7,6,71,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374610464703326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522900164175923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819831524374844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369517282740295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470957606229757,0.0,0.0,0.09979496847874313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616711263605516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257681610254974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136612485641732,0.0,0.0,0.15648312350095867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472438284295748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20743889699081075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994323946212255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5154637998888028,0.16756912955349507,0.0,0.10727773744276364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322672645404083,0.17529108044841227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280031296326674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191269727202121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357614563875495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705004343038949,0.14246447269787846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284685369397008,0.09023056315981284,0.0,0.14667611722618354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228259876673356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780971922255555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KolaJ23,2019/03/08,"I can't accept that anyone can feel like they have a fat face. ## Is there anyone who is skinny, that help me know that feeling fat is a choice? If you are skinny can you please comment that you can ""feel fat"" about your face like I can? I'm not even chubby im just not skinny and i drive myself crazy for no reason.",0.4382515991471188,2.4334173880597016,1.8801705756929648,98.63044776119403,84.07462686567165,3.8285714285714287,12.556503198294244,3.1291,-1.6206272921108744,243,2,56,0,7,78,43,67,0.096,0.736,0.168,0.6219,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,10,8,8,1,0,11,15,2,0,1,4,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,1,6,0,6,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,10,3,2,15,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,2,37,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4349362799999307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054217379659494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4717738959124583,0.22218838176625896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20846605139187926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359483663208856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092509761773514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30389134883018915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34139985028784986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319774073326652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theTravelG7,2019/03/08,"Death of my 🧠 I hate that I keep myself in my own head so much. I not only creat and assume things I feel like I have no friends. Sometimes I hate even saying that because there are ppl out there going thru some serious things but me not having friends is my issue...smh...
I think this stems from me seeing my brother and his friends or how my roommate interacts with his friends I wish I had ppl to do those things with but it’s like I couldn’t keep a relationship for nothing. I don’t feel like I have a problem I think I have more of fear... anyone can really just help me understand a better way and healer way to go about this?",1.3698355842630647,3.4359269465648867,2.7522137404580143,93.27867880211392,81.06106870229006,5.55748678802114,20.763945977686433,6.67199483983844,0.2386401644157368,494,14,108,5,13,160,82,131,0.096,0.662,0.243,0.974,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,7,13,2,1,3,0,11,2,1,1,0,25,24,8,1,3,6,1,2,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,9,6,0,2,6,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,1,4,25,8,12,22,4,6,0,0,1,0,11,2,0,3,3,79,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392695580762223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060469247878536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314529325578382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817003945274733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725233107376608,0.15030561819826924,0.21236547231969494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4593308825015125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894199065972407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934866728929948,0.1525393204665872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962490188400376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642219157443385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21784227413863114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926162764304727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261642023165758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304133964190828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222075839329593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095217470216965,0.0,0.0,0.1595751525355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819813835409933,0.0,0.0,0.11844046686545308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700085634863175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962335050192215,0.19047477836206614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473116203943235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359543392810506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091947390072434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ashthestampede64,2019/03/08,"Something more than bipolar, not totally sure what?  So I'm bipolar,no questions about it. But I also get these weird episodes where my eyes and mouth change position , my head literally feels like part of my brain is tingly and I can't help but freak out and yell at whoever happens to be around even if I'm thinking ""What the hell why can't I stop?"" When I'm like this I can't help but smile and honestly get aroused by causing others pain. It started out emotional, but over time physical pain started doing it too.I also feel weird when certain topics come up. Especially murder. Like the topics a trigger. It freaks me out because I'm normally a bleeding heart. Super sensitive, a little too nice. I know morally I'm a good person, and I'm so squeamish I don't see myself (even batshit) ever doing something like that. But I definitely think it's a problem and one that will get worse over time. My ex thought I might have multiple personalities because my opinions change from one hour to the next, and we've identified three other ""modes"". One where I'm bubbly and cant seem to access my brain, I have giggle fits and hallucinate too. One where I'm super calm but also cold and logical,and one where I just act like myself. But mpd doesn't make sense if I don't have memory gaps, right? I know I should see a professional and I plan too soon. But in the mean time does anybody have some insight? ",3.802183794466405,5.509320278985507,4.736785243741768,83.4470158102767,72.65942028985508,7.626877470355732,27.76284584980237,8.296473431620573,1.8991217391304351,1111,42,216,18,22,361,153,276,0.14300000000000002,0.675,0.182,0.9195,0,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,3,21,23,2,0,10,0,18,11,7,3,4,53,45,28,1,5,12,1,2,5,0,3,4,1,0,2,13,16,0,1,11,0,0,2,8,9,0,6,1,7,23,14,17,40,4,30,2,0,3,1,6,16,1,7,17,132,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568242893674163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529747436054503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305137541340392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23900710545823198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997015959324062,0.22649007311753025,0.0922143655794779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368045011513232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041719330192023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141144395434915,0.09683313665767428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825570928948794,0.07647676484135049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677881102701168,0.0,0.0,0.0897887233941178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466423805431497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986450493064168,0.0,0.0,0.1268551360742047,0.1435071362684786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542299444718824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766410459524272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26149687752638884,0.10729253653412542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145691504149787,0.0,0.0,0.11660917349450975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356346484138555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384922210331312,0.0,0.10488657759314816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36270031212583936,0.0,0.2278181608172518,0.0,0.0,0.11592505676642227,0.0,0.0,0.18694440799693413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243269187214207,0.0,0.0,0.1199208499311996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142038220312623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061047887357492,0.0974545842284515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164825121569829,0.0,0.0,0.1515415247445188,0.0,0.0,0.0894988548817159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089365290891986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718703585745884,0.0,0.08498599071318517,0.1872656947775388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659625667502833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090934142892604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Favip,2019/03/08,"Indecisive I am constantly weighing things out. This or that. I just can’t make up my mind. I’m so indecisive it’s exhausting. I’m always changing my mind. It makes me feel like I’m crazy. I wish I could just find the right balance.
Please give me advice or insight if you have any. 
Or just relate if you how I feel.
Feeling lonely in my imbalances. ",-0.026107554417414747,2.306507183098592,2.217413572343151,90.66110115236877,96.88732394366195,5.398719590268887,20.539052496798977,6.980632752743323,0.7684253521126765,274,10,57,5,11,92,49,71,0.168,0.71,0.123,-0.5073,0,2,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,2,1,0,4,2,0,3,0,23,14,7,0,4,8,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,12,1,3,13,0,5,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,7,2,35,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218704928273248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892366990107096,0.0,0.0,0.15440168887020195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401886433408916,0.0,0.0,0.2453602348571177,0.0,0.1812808358799172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444096898850205,0.16220446345842635,0.0,0.0,0.20751945626404134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21780691217847487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092509157052548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303115085705967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585112625721197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24923256157913626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938993375986078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084183637195914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610961307017738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_NullRoute_,2019/03/08,"Are These Social Media “Live Coaches” a Scam? Hi All!

I’ve started looking for a “coach” of some sorts - someone to help me improve my personal and professional life. I’m not sure whether I need a “life coach” or certified therapist. 

Anyways, recently, I’ve seen quite a buzz on social media from old acquaintances who are now helping people “realize their full potential” and similar slogans. Honestly, the forced-sounding social media posts and invites to various “seminars” sounds eerily cult-ish. Also, asking how much I earn on the sign-up-for-a-free-consultation form raised some red flags. 

I know some of these old friends, and trust that these aren’t trying to recruit me into a religious cult, but what _is_ going on?  Multiple friends who suddenly have a network where they’re helping people using various “methods.” Should I be wary? Personally, I probably don’t need an MD, anyway. 

Is this a scam?",5.646880341880344,7.848693080246918,6.241604938271607,72.5087606837607,68.81481481481481,9.675973409306744,34.68376068376068,10.035473477838034,4.079309971509971,717,36,113,19,13,233,113,162,0.064,0.809,0.127,0.785,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,2,6,5,0,0,10,0,9,2,0,2,2,22,19,9,0,3,4,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,0,2,8,5,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,9,5,11,16,9,14,1,0,3,0,15,6,0,5,6,70,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122861512952882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362758711646806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373953808191341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731406865262481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089340484970863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443354372609305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21703328561012392,0.0,0.0,0.13566214315123215,0.0,0.1290143479170742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293908897211688,0.2278361791658279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32242728162535245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21302173779085454,0.2682955673058493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471394529321683,0.0,0.16564405516334346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634092802126991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169560675718546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4698333001963183,0.13017407559696864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874334190405643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479876737046896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838158126306086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043077905950396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326909436277813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amethystdreams2151,2019/03/08,"Struggle city over here y’all Maaaan, I don’t even know where tf to start but to just make it quick I keep feeling like I suffer from borderline. My upbringing was riddled with two drug/alcoholic addicted parents, moving around to so many people, getting fucked majorly by the system and just being in my own completely. I can’t trust any body and my partner and I have some serious ups and downs sometimes even though she’s completely committed to me as I am to her. Does anybody struggle with BPD or that has had a diagnosis? I haven’t and I don’t even know where to start. I just always feel like something hella wrong with me but I’m constantly just tryna survive. ",3.4425897435897466,5.756370053846156,4.247307692307693,83.90685897435898,75.38461538461539,7.717948717948719,27.756410256410252,8.59863814320734,2.2531794871794872,537,22,100,11,12,172,90,130,0.155,0.728,0.117,-0.7417,1,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,14,9,1,2,2,0,10,3,1,1,1,24,21,11,0,0,7,1,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,2,2,17,3,17,18,3,13,0,1,0,1,5,7,1,2,6,72,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979245497100545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645131013300826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959797701465542,0.0,0.0,0.10591656691669517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386521258648115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300514127140273,0.19616394337960905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266056040395537,0.16831236707382494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629945229496251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18062264341842726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30861779062007577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575055827104364,0.22253823819924096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399003201334282,0.08137388858727514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843935876463162,0.0,0.0,0.17119423520487753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218492712144818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396553785634073,0.1579078819102887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655395175891826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729439451173453,0.0,0.0,0.10797868913752974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990534720322298,0.154042515613638,0.0,0.2204838554600944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256512034285981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302535553652072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214687979365638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029014612389035,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brokenbutsmiling,2019/03/08,"Is depression my fault? Does anyone ever wonder how much of an influence you have on your depression? I just wonder if there is something more I could be doing or is it completely out of my control and my past traumas/abuse will forever have an impact on me in this way. It seems like no matter what I do I still feel this way like I must be doing something wrong :(

I guess I'm kind of wondering also if in a way it's my fault and I'm contributing to my depression. It used to come in phases throughout my life, now it has consistently stuck around for over a year now I just can't seem to get past it. 

To be honest I know I still struggle with feeling any emotions especially surrounding my past trauma and abuse and instead turn to various unhealthy coping mechanisms to avoid them. Is the answer that simple just allow myself to feel and process emotions but I don't know how to, have I answered my own question lol 
",4.513516483516483,5.734450351648352,5.430439560439558,81.06456043956044,70.20879120879121,8.457142857142857,28.83516483516484,8.841846274778883,2.2746461538461538,732,27,139,13,13,240,108,182,0.153,0.7759999999999999,0.071,-0.9013,0,1,2,0,2,0,11.0,0,2,1,1,14,13,0,2,5,1,19,1,0,6,2,41,37,12,0,4,7,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,9,0,2,13,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,1,3,24,4,21,30,4,22,0,3,0,0,4,9,0,10,11,106,34,0,0.0,0.27982990103212224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443491771294096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030387816569308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256986372109769,0.0,0.0,0.1051233413902043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172234153044887,0.12381300394513994,0.0,0.13244571468103292,0.09428364589012822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30512702136714176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333959011109238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26566617438014506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068173417087271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17912649776040396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06169609745867999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300872271436634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12297046291030292,0.1297961348895885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340903499788985,0.11538364773310368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680825522429148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33818502645354165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228556718540144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150057301440813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818197978564766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861043227121915,0.0,0.0,0.12345119996765774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844581619183335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199010285301943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28119823419395906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841841423149885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911067215676,0.0,0.07604478968483529
mentalhealth,poopdaloope,2019/03/08,"Medication- depression/ anxiety/ adhd I was clinically diagnosed and put on medication for depression and anxiety about a year ago. I was 25 at this point and while I knew I had depression for over a decade, I had never had thought to go to therapy or take meds.

About a week ago, I was diagnosed with adult ADHD and I've been switched to new medication.

Depression & Anxiety: I was prescripted Escitalopram, 10 mg in September, 2018 and have been taking it since. The side effects included weight gain. A LOT of weight gain. Due to my history of eating disorders, losing weight is ridiculously difficult for me, so this upset me quite a bit. The medicine otherwise worked really well and I have possibly never been more stable than I am currently.

In the first few days of taking Escitalopram, I experienced extreme panic and anxiety attacks- side effects most people go through when taking new medication.

​

Recently, I have been switched to  Bupropion HCL for depression, anxiety, as well as ADHD.

I have also been given risperidone (0.5 mg at night).

I have no reservation with taking medication, however I would like to know the side effects beforehand so I know what to expect. 

Is there anyone taking similar medication who can share side effects and long term effects?",6.575972222222222,9.01595758928572,7.490119047619048,63.52710317460321,66.85714285714286,12.299206349206347,36.10515873015873,11.750952952430431,5.55352361111111,1036,53,155,41,18,346,126,224,0.179,0.753,0.068,-0.974,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,11,9,15,2,2,9,0,22,13,0,5,2,26,35,16,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,1,9,0,0,1,5,10,4,0,9,0,0,3,3,11,2,1,15,4,18,4,28,19,6,32,0,6,0,0,3,11,0,3,19,107,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784514261504396,0.0,0.13692196363827375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061761927724727564,0.0,0.1673603929441134,0.09384461206769294,0.0,0.0,0.2954090721849323,0.0,0.0,0.054001995012954856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878618741676639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431669293378526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049807867876375735,0.0,0.3325964854409698,0.15677650339659518,0.0,0.0,0.08851388264874835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902700949884726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569299475526215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778477601107572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488872226656488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03773136401500148,0.0,0.0,0.06834736425545103,0.0,0.08640218863441923,0.0,0.06565937982519407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578668183832337,0.4668151002195369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913124342589962,0.1491811469508701,0.0,0.07247644302482055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061441487098797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535425327957676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730086423614124,0.08706680638469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763889480106789,0.0,0.0821451072144699,0.0,0.0,0.04947641650661723,0.0,0.07625669646676939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638866173885763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34841043587687404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832084390151547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061313109779888825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061950375616831165,0.28214113987786665,0.13888061878694152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05622538361670911,0.0,0.0,0.054862975166710085,0.0,0.09384461206769294,0.049734493533775716
mentalhealth,MartyS4,2019/03/08,"Halp with major social anxiety I'll start off with a little background of myself.
Growing up, my parents themselves never really had any close friends and never went to outings or even just out to eat once in awhile with other families that they went to church with. I noticed these things at a young age and I yearned for the complete opposite social life, so I ended up forcing myself to make some good friends up until high school graduation. 

I joined the military straight out of high school and made a few very close friends since we practically lived with each other, but of course the physical interactions don't last long since everybody went back home once we all got out of there. 

Fast forward to current state. I've been back home for two years and I still have no idea how to interact people when I go out, or even how to go about being actual friends. I consider myself to be such an open book and I'd love to be a great friend to somebody, I just don't know what to do since everybody sticks to their circles in this city and I missed that mark. 

I've been diagnosed with GAD, social anxiety, and severe depression by the VA but their services here aren't the best so I don't have anybody to talk to there. For example, ""Hmmm yes I'm sure that must be hard"" is the best of a conversation I've gotten out of there.

Any replies are welcome, and if you've made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read this. ",4.6834668989547055,5.779692355400697,4.972353658536587,84.97218902439027,69.69686411149826,8.38808362369338,27.938850174216032,8.697196308434329,1.9130656445993035,1154,39,233,19,20,364,164,287,0.091,0.7659999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.9468,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,2,3,2,19,16,0,0,13,1,17,4,0,5,5,47,34,20,0,3,7,1,1,0,5,1,2,0,2,0,12,26,1,0,2,2,0,7,7,3,0,1,10,1,21,13,48,19,8,47,1,3,0,1,22,22,0,4,19,153,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.09510145241038816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325446899744277,0.0,0.14910472356004473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987286137571235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045447950452002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217910141805626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628500363571522,0.0,0.08393734601974714,0.09891418121811184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972019747015468,0.0,0.0,0.0863156869022195,0.0,0.0,0.1287354457982752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918713505344641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37646520171392106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077118132409476,0.08174014075926755,0.0779431994029565,0.10744383809431314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730001507103996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20593188303127474,0.19550945113683746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001417389152486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535583985848183,0.0794383564107691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688349363529527,0.0,0.09767492739843113,0.08605403510404784,0.08624409177747748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795641565007227,0.18442745024056892,0.06505157967417663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164020928219765,0.0,0.15032570756038874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095249896291076,0.0,0.20757154573595368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821159642835702,0.0,0.0,0.06756262165689138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748078892099278,0.0,0.06243179459077795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972581444226464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009575120345914,0.0,0.2418459008669172,0.0,0.0,0.29802751430126884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897873750314668,0.0,0.07782722280158691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184963410485544,0.0,0.07327359275989334,0.07833016837203707,0.0,0.08972293318145999,0.0,0.0,0.06474438389693415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056826453894100966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519880411478852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041009975893901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710236609922584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275744897494305
mentalhealth,Gaviotas206,2019/03/09,"Resources for hospital/medical phobia and panic Hello! I am looking for resources to support my spouse who has a lifelong phobia of hospitals and medical procedures. He has never sought treatment or resources before so we are starting fresh. We have access to mental health counseling so he might try that out, but we are also looking for things like videos, books, articles, etc. on basic strategies. When he is in a medical setting, he feels light-headed to the point where he comes close to fainting. He is actually okay with blood, injuries, bodily functions, etc., in a non-medical setting, it's just anything that involves a medical procedure that starts the panic. I will be giving birth to our first child in a hospital this summer so it seems like a good opportunity for him to find some coping strategies (and I am finding some other support resources for myself, so we are all good there. :)  )  Any favorite books or articles on phobias and panic? Thank you!",6.9313157894736825,8.633802789473688,7.011944444444449,70.17125000000001,64.96491228070175,9.442690058479533,36.47222222222222,9.725611199111238,4.020348538011697,771,38,114,16,12,247,107,171,0.093,0.6970000000000001,0.21,0.9738,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,5,1,0,2,9,12,0,3,8,1,13,6,1,0,2,25,24,13,0,0,4,1,1,2,0,2,5,0,0,1,9,12,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,3,12,9,19,21,5,19,0,0,2,0,19,9,0,6,9,84,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.12293883792504433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007465954335935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856710899023635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036712533837494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720016394518704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852108348183157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28100321578111315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369954828276728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23028786957157876,0.10715898627593834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085201717116364,0.0,0.2113330062176048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929238341928814,0.13391142703961825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309546044350808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21158385571427976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798719679630626,0.3807364324323116,0.126958757301318,0.1336454485273901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716396190241322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4434330726923321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909233448677264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468795565944458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833935476777674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859224565395541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598595879436023,0.0,0.0,0.08369587547532124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553251972145717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SwaggyHoe69,2019/03/09,"Doctors misattributing chronic pain to my chronic anxiety Okay so this is going to need some explaining. So I (27) was recently diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder despite having suffered from it since age 12. It's a horrible illness but honestly, I've had it so long that I've got a pretty good handle on it, although a couple months ago I had a pretty awful acute episode which meant I had to see my GP and was signed off work. At the beginning of last year I had my wisdom tooth taken out by a dentist who has since had their practice shut down. Long story short she yanked with too much gusto and my jaw is fucked up. It's not bone related though, it's muscle related and the specialist prescribed me valium as a muscle relaxant. 

My GP however, decided that because I have anxiety I can't be having those (despite... well the obvious, and the fact that I can source and consume as many benzos as I like if I want to) and refused to give me any pain medication for this. Instead he decided that it was because of anxiety and put me on antidepressants. The two aren't related in the slightest, they're two different complaints. Ironically, my jaw pain makes my already terrible insomnia worse and that actually does affect my anxiety. 

Does anyone have any suggestions about what to do or say to my GP to get them to understand? I tried going there to just ask for pain relief, armed with my note from the specialist (bc I have a mental illness so I'm OBVIOUSLY trying to score) and the doctor just shouted over the top of me trying to explain saying over and over ""I CANT GIVE YOU VALIUM"". I  was trying to get some naproxen or something yknow? I'm kinda just venting because this whole situation has really boiled my piss but I would really welcome some suggestions on what to do. I can't really switch practices because it will definitely look like I'm trying to score valium after the other GP said no. I've called the specialist and asked them to speak to my GP but the GP just ignored him. ",6.213109225413405,6.8931569112271545,7.20920691906005,71.79969375543952,66.04960835509138,10.978633594429937,33.973999129677985,10.864195022040775,3.9622411662315056,1599,69,280,44,24,538,202,383,0.159,0.721,0.12,-0.9423,2,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,3,2,14,19,2,0,19,2,28,22,6,2,3,47,53,26,0,4,11,0,0,2,0,2,14,5,0,0,22,15,1,2,6,1,0,3,6,9,1,2,13,7,37,10,45,37,5,28,0,1,2,1,23,15,2,7,12,191,59,3,0.0,0.0,0.0890267579551791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086938002907887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067393809864572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407827360698315,0.0,0.3489512987948859,0.0,0.0,0.0637897345464352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705743930023809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22245044077233406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315544210509363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094362259633677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259594513487854,0.0,0.09531533103015337,0.10455682380777703,0.1867543626520636,0.1596709676932568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434013256340576,0.09532721751203764,0.17503115309503942,0.10369556824005174,0.07651891261549956,0.07296450444894889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436415690078654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914017691437005,0.0,0.0,0.16147033907757752,0.07660973955758144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608963490196115,0.09249231705071267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190404699594336,0.09193780214065488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281845596676842,0.0,0.06706412373285597,0.06764546203383381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882981577381719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856262438349026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171076899382384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17533171549544674,0.0,0.09007805033566547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678007368231183,0.14509859950959572,0.0,0.0,0.07269803952391901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093184477015353,0.102545695093148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023286776715151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963244601762785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096939526621121,0.0,0.17823578245633634,0.0949730479051801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053809478028944986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202620851265205,0.0,0.0,0.10185439405852688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641610730901609,0.0,0.09297057714346878,0.06480676540695471,0.0,0.0,0.058748758070139274
mentalhealth,CJMA19,2019/03/09,"Devices to counter lack of vitamin D Like the majority of New England, I'm prone to SAD each winter. I've recently looked in to UV emitting ear buds, but I was hoping for some first hand experience with different tactics you've used.",9.497333333333334,7.448916622222224,9.705000000000002,65.55750000000002,60.55555555555557,13.444444444444445,44.72222222222222,12.161744961471696,5.4485555555555525,188,10,34,5,2,63,39,45,0.08199999999999999,0.688,0.23,0.8065,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,1,0,7,5,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,2,8,4,4,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,5,16,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38521953506143175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606654419614868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31362133074771825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662084797735541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013123982848198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30962037202821874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560987743328226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36405292091539704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184438009733325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SlimFaucet69,2019/03/09,"Am I set up to fail? I'm confused I'm currently 14, turning 15 on the 22nd :D. Anyways, back in 6th grade ADD really started taking affect and I started getting scary amounts of anxiety from my math teacher and stopped turning in work. She kept me in for recess for 3 quarters of the school year and my mom panicked cause of my tanked math grade so she threw me in special ed. I didn't think of it too much till 7th grade. What happened was that my band teacher accidentally called me Eddy (my name is Donny Edwards) and everyone started calling me ""special eddy"". It made my anxiety far worse than what it was before cause the whole school (7th grade and up)  was in on it. Hell, I was blackmailed and a whole bunch of fucked up shit like people made messenger groups and kept calling me but kicked me from the group so I couldn't answer, even sexually assaulted for a quick laugh. I hated that special ed room, the fact I was getting the same resources as people who were learning adjectives while I was above a 12th grade reading level *insert an r/iamverysmart joke*. I was watched constantly and the aides were always on my ass in front of everyone about work and shit and it got to me to where I tried killing myself. They're still on my ass to this day and I'm a freshman, still anxious to the point where I actually physically freeze, my ADD daydreams make me scared, schizophrenia type of things. I'm always negative on self-esteem and I'm planning on jumping in a bridge. The US education wants people like me to fail..",4.887247425997426,6.15584019256757,5.175386100386104,83.06279279279279,69.37162162162161,7.8002574002574,30.987129987129983,8.11559375814309,2.1666224581724585,1211,50,231,16,21,383,161,296,0.203,0.741,0.057,-0.9934,1,0,0,0,0,1,33.0,1,0,0,5,12,18,7,2,15,0,13,5,4,6,1,33,38,18,1,2,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,12,14,0,3,3,3,0,3,3,11,0,1,16,2,33,7,38,21,6,40,1,2,1,3,12,22,6,1,16,143,45,16,0.0,0.0,0.10766780192796133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18360958871442992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16880686294369074,0.12464339117064137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483824980581672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388413143560484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379829363481637,0.0,0.0,0.22668205057477006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922934757879144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115480462344508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728730325773787,0.0,0.0,0.2108532924610761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199985819978412,0.11528749568300625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824232167070918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756593824007356,0.0,0.0,0.10892968971990756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206565440945638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780496934047333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879700235168547,0.07364725162383727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921912748350978,0.0,0.0,0.08110647805659386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22947027985116386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429909780404924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036153504823236,0.0,0.0706812979574726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046125692384677,0.22332309637843936,0.0,0.0,0.11510000231648765,0.0,0.2265077633606631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342799881125177,0.0,0.17622204071174127,0.09224222290720456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295569070573458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329946414784247,0.07069608409105811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490796681667085,0.24001836566135756,0.0,0.0,0.13271542352719548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650764821199512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24636275602683616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064555086176469,0.0,0.11243740550510432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104998309153297
mentalhealth,ILikeWhackShitOk,2019/03/09,"What's wrong with me First time posting here, I'm 16 btw, I came here to seek help I guess. Before I state how I feel I'd like to say It's hard to put into words because I don't completely understand it myself. Also this might be pretty long. 

I'd like to start off by saying I was a pretty sensitive kid. Anytime someone said something slightly negative it destroyed me. Around 7th/8th grade I fell into a deep hole. I was depressed for a while. Freshman year of high school things took a turn for the better but long story short I'm back in that hole.

Whenever I'm with anyone I feel so out of place, I feel like I don't belong, I feel no one wants me there, and I contribute nothing. I shrugged it off but I started feeling this way towards my family and close friends too. I don't know, every day is just.. a day nothing more nothing less. I don't think of what I'll do that day I kind of just exist from day to day doing practically nothing. I have to go to school but at school it's nothing more than eight hours of fuzz. I get home and smoke until I sleep.

Up until the smoking part that's how it feels when I'm sober.

Here's the drugs use part. I knew before I ever tried drugs that I would get psychologically addicted, I knew for 100% certain if I tried drugs I wouldn't quit, and I was right. I started smoking weed about 6 months ago since then I've done other drugs but that doesn't quite matter right now. My point is I have a very addictive personality and I know that but O can't change it. I've been thinking about my drug use and I wanted to think how far I would go. Now I have never tried cocaine or heroine or meth or anything crazy like that but I can tell you for certain if it was in my hands I would 98% probably do it and I will most likely use these substances in the future.

The point of this was I started using drugs to cope and at this point I don't think they help. Before you start giving some motivational speech in the comment section telling me to seek help or quit, for that to work I'd have to want to change. I don't want to change but I don't wanna stay on this state either. This is the truth, and this is gonna sound awful and Ik it does but it's like there's two different fucking people in my head, but the truth is I want to try meth, I want to snort cocaine, not because everyone else  is doing it or some bullshit like that but because I need something more. I'm not sure about heroine still but that's the truth. I know pathetic right.

Now before you say ""Ah you feel this way because your drug abuse"" I felt this way before my drug abuse now I'm sure it's not helping but still. I don't know what's wrong with me I seriously feel like there's something not right I mean I have friends, I'm a functional member of society, I talk to my family but it always just feels mandatory like it's supposed to be there. That probably doesn't make sense. I don't know what's wrong but it feels just empty all the time and I don't know why. I just feel empty.  I'm only contempt when I'm sleeping. On top of this I feel like a disappointment and I just don't wanna go on. I don't think I wanna die or anything but there always seems like there's something missing. It's just torment in my head u know like this is some edgy shit but it's like every fucking time I just can't I can't. Or maybe I'm feeling too much all at once idk I'm just so frustrated with this shit. Idk what 
The fuck is wrong with my head my fucking head. Anyway thanks that's all.
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mentalhealth,Stephani2104,2019/03/09,"Just watched two documentaries on bringing back mental institutions and just wanted to give my take as someone who has been psychotic. I’m a person living with bipolar and I’ve been psychotic and previously was put in mental institutions three times in two months. I was no danger to myself or anyone else although I did feel invincible so I can’t say for certain that had I continued to remain psychotic that I wouldn’t have thought I could fly or something at some point. 

With that said I have also had a banner recovery. I started a business, bought a house, paid off all my debt all within three years. I take my medications and go to therapy and I even spoke at the National Alliance for mental illness’ nationwide confrence and led support groups for a year. I am now a mental health advocate though my stances on most issues are nuanced due to the amount of things to take into consideration. 

So I can see all sides but I think who we should really be asking about legislation are... well people like me. Who can see the many sides and speak from the perspective of being psychotic and wanting to stay that way, and also speak from the perspective of sometime who was involuntarily committed and ultimately got better because of it.  

This isn’t a one size fits all issue and all cases are so unique that there should be people that have been in my shoes making these decisions. I hate to say it but you normies that haven’t had to strip and shower bare naked in front of a mental health nurse, or haven’t seen the the look in the eyes of your father as he commits you to a psychiatric facility and leaves you sobbing in a hospital, and you haven’t thought you immaculately conceived the second coming of Christ....and then after all that came back only to thrive more in life after all that— if you haven’t been there or somewhere close, you shouldn’t be able to tell me what to do with my body or brain or treatment. 

Because you don’t know. You don’t know the suffering that takes place and the toll it takes on your spirit to go to a treatment facility. And the shame. And embarrassment. And fear. And loneliness. And you don’t know what it’s like to have to learn to retrust your brain after it lies to you. It’s like mentally learning to walk again. How can I trust that the sky is actually blue if my brain said yesterday that I know like I know like I know that it’s green. 

So yea, get a collection of people living in recovery from mental illness to make these decisions. That’s your best way to make sure we take time and care and consideration with this. 

If anyone knows any other ways I can talk to legislators or people crafting bills on these issues let me know. I won’t know about all of them in all states but I’d love to share my experiences to help give texture to this issue. ",5.33393687044979,6.447346049815501,5.776478508028326,79.73894634486888,68.20664206642066,8.959090455769424,28.301785180013965,9.21561531244674,2.2502319138326525,2237,74,430,42,37,719,249,542,0.07400000000000001,0.813,0.113,0.9655,2,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,2,15,1,2,20,22,2,3,25,1,46,14,6,5,13,93,95,47,0,10,15,1,1,5,0,5,7,7,1,1,34,32,0,0,19,0,4,9,13,7,1,6,21,16,50,15,70,63,14,57,1,2,8,1,41,26,1,12,22,300,84,2,0.06608790225424467,0.0,0.06449225930563164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570094311163604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494203978361962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242039575286548,0.06771486576643719,0.0,0.0,0.06178326739668893,0.0,0.0,0.1016350349415234,0.0,0.08057314361691201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935517611627656,0.05844937896746855,0.0,0.07340876095337777,0.0,0.2213278664918046,0.0,0.07558695416080828,0.0673810208759988,0.0,0.0,0.056928875969248414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052765812328464605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552079621190261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043650436149077966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464664967884526,0.0,0.07436726356653779,0.033416029099026884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0345282012502682,0.1267950756743502,0.07511855569478469,0.0,0.0528565326774856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524812125540247,0.0,0.14049669937325654,0.0,0.0,0.044297327807829086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625656606979214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275914399109523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268816445787802,0.0,0.0,0.06997754614746787,0.0,0.06757935764733439,0.0466798398136384,0.16143605406269299,0.0,0.11671365695399118,0.0,0.05549719323006103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05964691202843035,0.0,0.13234256380703885,0.06700275997938036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657660872120445,0.4662074300224505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275073306397257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04478287293582983,0.050262827699284016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832681207206702,0.05770540711918376,0.06904779176271421,0.0,0.06247442912805775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664365953666011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04233760246152216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572945804224675,0.10511150489348424,0.0,0.0,0.10532700333416764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055996065116672614,0.050877695918093054,0.06536262519273296,0.0,0.04677735736812051,0.0704409105278297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499576830104264,0.06228706575642873,0.0,0.29813926652565664,0.05311895246671746,0.05776373951241446,0.0,0.07557727584552135,0.0,0.04390586567328112,0.042346459251985484,0.06493102841818807,0.10493282459910644,0.07707277453856336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911655510923262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796071405611656,0.15737250201233074,0.0,0.0,0.05942096096455704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511688454949126
mentalhealth,lalechuganormal,2019/03/09,"Where do you think is a good place to draw the line between when a person needs/doesn’t need to go to therapy? Before I get into this, I want to clarify that obviously in an ideal world, everyone could go to therapy because everyone could benefit from it. I know that already.

That said, this questions is being asked with the context that the psychological services in my area are already very busy, and from what I’ve heard they’ve had to turn away people in the past after only one or two sessions because they didn’t have the resources or manpower.

Because of this, I figure it’s safe to say that it’s most important for people who are very high priority to get therapy whereas people whose issues are less severe shouldn’t overflood the services (at least as long as they lack the resources to accommodate everyone).

So, with that in mind, where do you think it’s fair to draw the line between when someone _needs_ to get therapy vs when it’s probably okay if they don’t?

Because I’ve been thinking about going to therapy on/off for years but haven’t done it because I don’t feel like my problems are as severe as the people who _should_ be going to therapy. But there are also times when that reasoning seems less valid.

Idk. I also don’t want to invest hundreds of bucks in intake sessions and whatnot just to be told they can’t help me. I can’t afford to spend that kind of money without an ROI, so if it’s fair to say that I _don’t_ need therapy, then I probably shouldn’t.",6.207927074939567,6.257827065068498,6.788275584206287,76.9871837228042,66.02054794520548,9.74730056406124,33.2723609991942,9.478462496947786,2.9900565672844484,1181,47,222,21,17,388,144,292,0.039,0.87,0.091,0.8912,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,4,1,13,8,0,0,13,1,29,0,0,1,1,40,52,21,0,15,9,0,1,1,0,3,0,4,0,1,23,5,0,1,9,0,4,4,11,1,0,2,7,5,18,7,43,37,5,28,0,0,0,0,18,14,0,7,11,154,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17601716981807855,0.12755568213619958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455758279341522,0.0,0.07492985893839932,0.0,0.0,0.2430811398971753,0.0,0.06786328599140548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735135537853226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816142354539658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286200618205136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04032513107766437,0.05697501936597879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250017682083226,0.0,0.18130015363466614,0.06689239881993989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053456248345587966,0.08426262495704978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324062291583388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304968998230214,0.04382974784499346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038962918193823255,0.0,0.0,0.07057822667608306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052703207905715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774058361544101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404218483950015,0.06065517567336305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613254147626733,0.22116065821338002,0.06963658366094841,0.08332412104392768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719728167133149,0.07631212715694126,0.0,0.0,0.0893407659357532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199859000589126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586264754636796,0.1268443716049956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260344805690899,0.0,0.18019467129551486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757381791150673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6384254939904092,0.0,0.0,0.15330605395549673,0.0,0.0,0.0465041750858026,0.0,0.0,0.07620668727350452,0.0,0.0,0.08674754052147081,0.07790635436734021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160790799387648,0.09407988016483868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687831767844618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05135783064183133
mentalhealth,KrootzyTV,2019/03/09,"Did my Ex Girlfriend and best friend in the whole world make a good decision? So me and this girl dated long distance for 6 months, (i know it’s not that long) and she was my closest friends and for a while all i had. we broke up in october, and it was mutual because it’s hard to maintain. however we were still really close friends. although lately, i’ve let jealousy poison my life. every time she mentions a guy or girl she’s interested in i get upset to the point of crying. today she said she’s trapped and that she feels as if i’m forcing her to talk to me, and decided to stop talking to me permanently. was this a good decision? how will this effect me?",2.81369696969697,4.393141103703705,4.317845117845117,85.96484848484846,75.0,7.575757575757577,27.08754208754209,8.296473431620573,1.7724814814814818,519,20,108,9,11,173,87,135,0.141,0.7090000000000001,0.15,0.5171,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,0,2,3,10,1,1,6,0,8,2,0,3,1,23,14,14,0,1,3,1,2,0,4,1,2,1,0,3,8,10,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,7,3,19,7,14,5,3,18,0,1,0,0,21,8,0,2,10,73,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160055957659967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212546803214145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20109882032168688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542482224675054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256800414813607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4243288795167933,0.0,0.0956489075075525,0.0,0.0,0.3071085293941028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18127260877188425,0.0,0.0,0.16399885659305255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061299670701797,0.0,0.2065160908688963,0.0,0.0,0.18720615308564584,0.1293109840399631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32403046959162685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220369810309285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461283763732787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730646450402719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728225842353153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414584119356855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620358932225502,0.15305853934760716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942968117314058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067522549141223,0.0,0.17353328747611144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439622115922185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ian7531,2019/03/09,"Is anxiety making me feel sick? Basically I keep feeling sick everyday and it’s getting worse. It started about three weeks ago when I was at my friends house I ended up feeling sick and was really close to throwing up but I managed to stop myself. I wasn’t anxious that night I had just ate way too much but I’ve always had a bit of a fear of being sick. 

The next weekend I went out to lunch with my girlfriend and I ended up feeling really sick after it but it was different to the usual feeling. It was the first time we went out so I had been nervous and lost my appetite and I felt really nauseous. 

Then a few days ago I had an event on at my school and I went with my mum and we went to a presentation in a classroom and it was really warm and crammed and I thought “it would be really bad if I ended up feeling sick” and then I started to feel sick and then my heart started beating rapidly. Then I couldn’t breathe properly and I was worried that people could tell because only one person was talking and that was the teacher doing the presentation. So I was really worried I was about to be sick and twenty minutes later I still felt the same but it was getting worse. My arms started to get tingly and then it went to my hands and it’s hard to describe it’s like the worst pins and needles I’ve ever had. I thought I was about to pass out so I had to leave the presentation. I felt fine after a couple minutes but I didn’t go back in. I’m not sure but I think it might have been a panic attack. 

Every time I’ve went out since then I keep feeling sick but I think it’s because I’m worried about feeling sick that it actually makes me feel sick. 

Then today my girlfriend was coming over to my house and she wanted me to come and meet her parents when they dropped her off so this morning before she arrived I was starting to feel anxious and my dad gave me a bowl of spaghetti hoops and I could only manage to eat half of it because I thought I was going to throw up. After that everything was fine until tonight when I went out with my friends. We went to the cinema and then McDonald’s after it and I was really hungry because I had barely eaten anything all day but when we got to McDonald’s I started to feel really sick and I was worried I’d end up being sick over my friends. I could barely eat any of my food and now every time I go out to eat I just end up feeling sick.

I’m really not sure what this is and I’m not diagnosed with anything but some of my friends have told me they think I have anxiety and I’m almost certain I have OCD. I just want to know what I can do to get rid of this and what it might be and what’s causing it.

Thank you for reading this and I’m sorry it was so long.",0.6961943679982205,2.8992372311733834,2.720593778667336,91.70035415450478,84.74430823117338,5.3066577711061065,22.548605898868594,6.655083550727371,0.5913265560281316,2133,77,456,24,63,715,207,571,0.207,0.72,0.073,-0.9981,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,4,1,2,3,21,19,1,3,18,0,51,26,4,3,5,110,116,59,0,8,16,3,19,1,6,3,15,0,0,1,32,48,7,3,23,3,0,16,6,7,0,4,50,19,76,12,65,54,7,95,0,1,0,0,26,22,0,5,56,321,108,5,0.0,0.0,0.0533966793367838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700805584207002,0.0,0.05479197239598232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0455295926738755,0.0,0.0,0.037209980126364776,0.0,0.08371793395098373,0.12363107764085605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005617373331022,0.0,0.0,0.062249396438418814,0.0,0.04207461041515601,0.04568707715731552,0.1334218512172107,0.0,0.04656081735961912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973766544970091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05621025296886913,0.0,0.09426907873478854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106313181690182,0.06054420458154348,0.0,0.0705769081882387,0.0,0.0,0.05553741486062845,0.0,0.057168454561254925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796990811676527,0.0,0.0,0.24231864700462735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04949538245129094,0.09220421235635964,0.0,0.049176830115952384,0.0,0.0,0.06157273707838218,0.3596705267634551,0.0,0.1576130057294047,0.0,0.0,0.04654293244352735,0.06616498055267737,0.0,0.16909934515515418,0.0,0.11435116772691588,0.0,0.09329215956758616,0.0,0.04376282295924275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049016400829810285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484085606046212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627398852492655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727138894881696,0.0,0.0,0.03007147170249537,0.0,0.0,0.057938249220012124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026732353014119255,0.0,0.0,0.048423530835908515,0.0,0.0,0.05973094206725488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304911233582441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609387692746274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0402238786654297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05819300070497984,0.051348948301389113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037078197161649576,0.08323070464936619,0.0,0.06419954829981815,0.06075764111437775,0.0,0.0,0.03793443267509345,0.04777747210466467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473260707995651,0.0,0.3154826123599373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05537733450616839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526312932207745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125209691414767,0.2323772414085262,0.0,0.043697705495345567,0.045746530621881325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031417572537969,0.0,0.0,0.043980094698333715,0.047825768692965696,0.050376798364467214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518286985469276,0.0,0.13031946269245193,0.0957191670428702,0.0,0.051866076099240994,0.052285202460909744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06026392585988615,0.0,0.06454795186494015,0.043432442471154055,0.04389131836548453,0.0,0.0,0.4057915878784633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222274326505194,0.11152422506466722,0.03886995495254943,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ordenaru,2019/03/09,"I have a good memory but not for numbers... is there something wrong with me or is this normal.? I legit can remember people’s name, faces and whatever I hear. Sometimes I to limited study because I already retain information from classes when teachers are speaking but I just can’t remember numbers! 
In history I would remember the details or event, who took place but I just struggle in remembering the date and time.. at all! I believe if my birthday aren’t associated to a holiday, I would forget it. I struggled remembering the timetable, but I ended up remembering it regardless because I found there’s a pattern in the timetable (like if I remember one set I can remember the other, i.e. 2x3 is the same as 3x2 and I found patterns in numbers such as 9 time table the first number of the pair goes up while the other go down since I was 6!) 
This sounds very condescending but I believe my brain is able to remember patterns and learning it hence my ability my mathematics. Even though I struggle remembering numbers, I actually exceed in maths because the formulas are letters to represent a number. But I don’t think I’m a lost cause because I do remember important dates if reminded (of course) and I remember even numbers easily or if the numbers are repeated

Am I just overreacting? 
Honestly I’m disappointed that I can’t study chemistry because it consists of numbers like the periodic table, I can’t remember the numbers or atoms but can remember what each number represent.. ",6.405748987854253,7.92089316849817,7.605625602467708,66.12577790630422,66.03296703296704,11.168613842298052,40.009446693657225,11.10113133989139,5.211722344322347,1197,70,189,37,19,407,138,273,0.094,0.8059999999999999,0.1,-0.5908,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,10,10,0,3,18,0,21,2,2,1,1,56,30,25,0,8,19,0,0,2,0,2,0,3,0,0,11,7,0,2,19,1,0,2,6,6,0,2,5,3,31,4,21,23,3,24,0,2,0,0,6,10,0,8,13,139,42,3,0.05709087088448408,0.0,0.05571245452612323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300119567546551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740103249643799,0.0,0.0,0.12864372246093075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637322929916944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864805080252821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050565566135409634,0.0,0.0,0.07541596356474968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856146560945725,0.0,0.1251943863255892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032446057583288127,0.0478851138398825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643455607249248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05578343148576391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06232142962927694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055936931927162266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03868625163467807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039579621460271934,0.0,0.0596478089018278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9054195851675764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047226158356426434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04395134161446824,0.05646433111454331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905132201645824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03658152483444719,0.056091490777821634,0.0,0.06658029185072918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343005819822746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471059475193838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111143331846013,0.062419905037126175,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sbw4435,2019/03/09,"First time dealing with mental illness. Need help. My fiancé was admitted to the inpatient program at my local hospital last night, this is her 4th admission but the first one since I have known her and while I have known her she was always a super happy woman. When I saw her this morning, she was very paranoid about the food, water and the effect she is having on the other people inside the unit. Having never dealt with something like this, I am not sure what and how to be acting around her. I would love to stay with her all day but she gets paranoid that I am getting sick from being around her and wants me to leave after about an hour. 

The doctors are saying she is bipolar, which I read everything I could find but not sure what to say and how to act around her?

I was able to get her a few of her favorite snacks, her lotion and blanket. What are some other good items to bring her?

Any tips and ideas are highly appreciated. ",4.5381187290969915,5.692105771739129,4.8082608695652205,85.79928093645486,70.08695652173913,6.965886287625418,23.936454849498325,7.010146845296331,0.8321752508361202,738,18,144,6,13,232,112,184,0.087,0.7440000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.9692,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,4,8,7,0,0,10,0,20,8,0,3,4,35,29,14,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,10,13,3,0,6,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,5,3,29,7,21,20,4,22,0,0,1,1,24,7,0,1,12,114,39,3,0.14949917691580994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439529132331828,0.0,0.0,0.10166456684796933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3992578893635088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193629279085326,0.0,0.0,0.0964146013523706,0.1541270869133705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530187423958651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343602204493545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663953929510073,0.25432784702579603,0.18077499814696665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343214487625985,0.0,0.0,0.12539281665657476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591446537527786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020614697926697,0.1579540884859324,0.0,0.0,0.14722657494615174,0.0,0.0,0.16876637363559294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186178257572733,0.0,0.15829804237677453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303774634595457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492884400408295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506600077494622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085174538588068,0.11530298156938605,0.0,0.0,0.1402948501835036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130451134726186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364390557156683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495396335162592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377754918820826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366726402662502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509177025874275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934623109382146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28180240998613165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717417230014261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335247777593712,0.08817848793505671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061999259400593,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iuhrdiuh2o,2019/03/09,"I can't remember a lot of the last 6-7 years. Is there any way to get that back? Since i was 19, I've struggled with depression and anxiety (I'm turning 26 in a few months). It's been pretty extreme at times--I won't go into it much for the sake of this post--and I feel like it's been a pretty constant struggle since then.  

I've had trauma, but not as bad as some people. But is it possible that trauma, depression, and anxiety can cause memory loss? 

I was re-reading an email I sent to a friend of mine when I was 19, and I told him in the email that I couldn't remember much of what happened that previous year. 

We actually have a really long string of emails from that time--something I have ZERO recollection of. I was actually really shocked to read them. I can also barely remember what college was like, and I find myself mixing up events and times when I try to recall it. And it's a short-term issue too. I can't remember things that my boss mentioned last week, or things we had long conversations about, so I have to write everything down or I won't remember. 

But if in fact that all of this crap has caused some kind of memory loss, is there any way to get it back or at least improve this condition? 

It's probably a stupid question, but now I'm kind of freaking out about it. What else have I forgotten?

Trigger warning! 

I was assaulted when I was 19, and I don't remember a lot of that. I don't know what day it was, or even what month. But I thought that was because I was intoxicated when it happened, and that I tried really, really hard to forget it afterwards. 

Honestly, I'm just so freaked out by all of this. Has this happened to anyone else???",4.2621994134897365,4.6889505131964855,5.6808064516129075,81.94120967741938,70.26099706744868,9.719061583577712,28.696480938416425,9.800150414767053,2.464664516129032,1299,45,278,30,22,440,162,341,0.179,0.748,0.073,-0.9882,0,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,2,0,1,2,17,21,3,2,12,0,32,2,1,4,3,52,47,28,0,2,12,0,2,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,34,14,0,0,12,1,0,2,8,15,0,1,17,2,31,6,37,27,10,36,0,4,0,0,14,10,1,10,24,192,65,3,0.0,0.0,0.1625526096736119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660475355008247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327632074822858,0.0,0.1274289788170483,0.0,0.0,0.05823635533336175,0.08533759138340119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808545042374336,0.0695413433243714,0.05077111154714994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111781901031448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000388812424265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537133617258011,0.0,0.14347030774786007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915155731605686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0550104181945165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485317598502013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042112517017231,0.05950040107707985,0.0,0.0,0.07612300312668463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434749358592977,0.0,0.08702826170142647,0.0,0.04733404207950248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209518202125524,0.0,0.07460898290546558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693021089792823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173461629965669,0.04577247370698785,0.13578038836915288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137984981713779,0.0,0.0,0.1474131239012298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161561896188693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329581164323709,0.0,0.12245136831488496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0577408661401208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389381768476213,0.07976612662908887,0.16946607431478564,0.08979770154240117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330073890040716,0.0,0.16661950191645045,0.0,0.2134236834479576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5660890536843619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779208528852013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411856503951252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413975568448078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066464599027742,0.0,0.0,0.06612074325917845,0.09713088648869347,0.0,0.0,0.07958450050543868,0.0,0.11309310001091365,0.0905925704091962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221902477597686,0.06680797786436447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726846802837273
mentalhealth,GameCoping,2019/03/09,"Can A Video Game Help Your Mental Health? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqlShHtXUZU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqlShHtXUZU)

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In 2018 I was really struggling with self-esteem and anxiety problems. As well as going to therapy I also played a video game called Celeste and it helped me in ways that conventional therapy never could. Hopefully this video will explain how playing this game in particular helped me, but also explain how it could help you too.",14.362826086956526,16.39965365217391,9.949094202898552,54.4566847826087,48.71014492753624,11.537681159420293,37.53985507246377,11.20814326018867,4.609489855072464,398,14,48,8,4,110,49,69,0.095,0.759,0.146,0.5739,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,1,2,0,5,1,0,2,1,13,9,9,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,8,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,0,6,4,7,5,0,6,1,0,0,0,12,3,0,1,1,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815171781533424,0.0,0.1907114434893118,0.21387666599349625,0.0,0.0,0.1346504739506429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973030153278746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28106622613555376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000329949933176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870949926418564,0.0,0.0,0.4719147571284376,0.0,0.0,0.1748219361943262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773810367660543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575309545321565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842193414137485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275928126920988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836213243155279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840083853314806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025754321998238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971197538149954,0.0,0.0,0.15825801323489336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21387666599349625,0.0
mentalhealth,TheScottishPlay1776,2019/03/09,"Biggest personal fear I am terrified to talk about my mental health with anyone. It started with an ex; I was going through something and when I decided to talk about it with them I was met with hostility, and everything fell apart. I didn't hold them responsible for my emotions or expect them to fix everything for me, I just wanted someone to understand you know? They didn't, and I don't know how or why this affected me so deeply, but ever since then I've been terrified to open myself up to people. 
Friends, family, work acquaintances, partners, it's all the same, I just can not seem to bring myself to tell people what I might be going through and be honest with my emotions the way I used to, I don't know how to fix this. 
I have come a very long way from where I started, my SO knows more about me than anyone else ever has, but in spite of knowing they would never try to hurt me or be anything but understanding/supportive at what I have to say, there are still some things I'm scared I could never open up about. 
I seem to have these random unexplainable lapses in okayness and it makes me half a person, insecure and self destructive, and while I do my best to never act on the negative emotions the spiral brings, it still affects my relationships with people; then because I have this crippling fear of even saying a word about it if I even try to open up my mind will draw blanks and I can't explain why I'm feeling what I'm feeling to anybody. 
It makes me feel like my emotions are completely invalid that I can't even explain what I'm feeling or why I'm feeling it. Getting to know people and making friends is really hard, because one day I'll be this really likeable, cool, outgoing, charismatic person who has a lot to offer, then the next I'm this slow, nervy, stuttering shell who gets emotionally exhausted just trying to maintain small talk 
By nature I'm an optimist, and a very big believer in self evolution, deep down I believe this will be okay in the end, I just cannot for the life of me figure out how to fix this so I can feel whole, and be transparent for my SO and everyone else who cares about me",10.642144549763033,6.6525405781990505,10.103359004739335,69.60323755924172,60.279620853080566,13.583175355450235,41.06694312796208,11.20814326018867,4.342885781990521,1692,62,331,32,16,551,201,422,0.112,0.7659999999999999,0.121,0.6087,1,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,5,2,27,19,3,4,14,3,34,3,0,9,6,82,74,32,0,5,13,1,7,1,3,4,3,2,0,6,25,23,0,1,19,0,0,7,12,10,0,2,6,10,49,9,55,57,7,48,0,1,0,0,29,20,0,11,20,236,74,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506470209473373,0.07697913584096534,0.061825245075858674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159659252686753,0.0,0.0,0.1692906244184845,0.07884386187730064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659961664853998,0.0,0.0,0.06471748303579065,0.07877193802141648,0.0,0.0,0.059984858406158435,0.0,0.0,0.04845236550195865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255222517939279,0.4225533416492366,0.06654251059733937,0.0,0.0,0.14886714235366866,0.13591801753587285,0.0,0.07178953584147163,0.1350432490270478,0.0,0.0708254841724982,0.16908333552502855,0.22792664631298284,0.053672588865630345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608985839598962,0.0,0.07850421216388193,0.0,0.08539574637792566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730134911158528,0.0,0.0,0.07985923315247702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042777210710418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477355229376149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053066246080186785,0.03670451914705265,0.0,0.0,0.06648731646614674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387248452028549,0.0,0.0,0.15044873945379875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571294865728738,0.07970061457532385,0.07585946145249564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383369722333444,0.0,0.07990116348801155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090974958093484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20834157168583556,0.196800761093183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625986891291094,0.0,0.0,0.08066105531801962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949211922759664,0.07521781870674264,0.0,0.0,0.13679030077214901,0.15675307974009114,0.0,0.0,0.0621479671460357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365705158515414,0.057838423232841024,0.0,0.0,0.10635421059659554,0.0,0.11999716352608722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525616007947487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18115893805811653,0.06566656671735209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04991275637371042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302416497735866,0.0,0.0,0.07821254513861466,0.0,0.06488783734134812,0.0,0.1239795478058051,0.04431337439465925,0.11926873144640456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20337828808134012,0.08387949601051263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546952309672497,0.0,0.0,0.05336989995034786,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Camdingirth,2019/03/09,So how long exactly? How long am I supposed to ‘hang in there’ before I let go?  It’s been years of effort and nothing’s changing.  Nothing’s improving.  Everyone told me thing improve when you try and hang in there long enough... I’m seriously thinking they lied.,2.141866666666669,4.8737085200000045,3.4720000000000013,85.01266666666669,83.8,6.533333333333335,28.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,2.175133333333334,206,10,38,4,6,67,38,50,0.085,0.794,0.12,0.4137,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,6,7,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,4,4,1,10,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749270267083024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24552194638507585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398124770971139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22177329628779266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190290159424914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373291999323621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6161808052327171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4453959508842249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419122547680178,0.1487148094346899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22177329628779266,0.0,0.15757483817537635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494592639980708
mentalhealth,_ilike,2019/03/09,"Do I have depression? I an just always sad. no matter what I do there is always this feeling of emptyness and sadness inside of me. sometimes its more present than other times but its there. Its been there for a long time, at least as long as I can remember my feelings. 
I am in therapy but my psychiatrist isn’t helping at all (he cant really handle the situation) and I don’t dare to tell my parents (I’m 16) what can I do? Do I have depression and do I have to learn to live with this feeling that I’ll never be happy?",2.169225280326195,3.657305963302754,4.5058103975535175,84.32937818552499,76.5229357798165,7.780224260958207,25.87257900101937,8.515128840125781,1.7750236493374103,406,15,86,8,9,142,69,109,0.161,0.773,0.065,-0.9088,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,17,0,0,0,2,15,21,7,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,3,13,1,13,19,3,9,0,4,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,69,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490755649411351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613333254437176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181840770157862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22329426349315065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405982372614333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18522262226804725,0.3712634001377376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617804540773074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329145359196427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437813454095704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376180868315225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23577991875943616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20745878678609128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18334017772599573,0.0,0.2398797464036502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446264092493337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,13-Jane,2019/03/09,"I have a few questions about mental health and the first steps to take to ask for help. 
Hi everyone!

Here are the questions:

1) How did you guys know there was something not right?  What did make you ask for help? 

2) How did you explain what's going on in your mind in your first appointment /session ?
Did you just say how you feel about certain things? How you're living every day? 

3) I think a lot of people google their symptoms and make assumptions based on what they read. 
Most of the time, the symptoms overlap and so you can't really know what's going on. 
My question is do you tell your dr/ therapist if you are suspecting that you have something because that's what you read online and fitted with your situation? Or do you not mention it?  I am concerned that if I say what I think I have, I won't be taken seriously because the only resource I used was google. 

Thank you in advance!",2.8832386363636364,4.99543902840909,3.517045454545457,89.4393181818182,76.32954545454545,6.218181818181819,24.63636363636364,7.1686216300943375,0.9926659090909092,703,24,141,8,16,221,101,176,0.01,0.913,0.077,0.885,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,16,2,3,10,3,0,0,7,0,18,4,0,7,1,32,34,12,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,11,5,0,0,10,2,0,4,4,1,0,2,7,3,27,2,15,25,3,17,0,0,0,0,32,9,0,8,4,100,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485845765144505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620927609400072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574312080422783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201789822875093,0.12704145154452606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722458840709777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261780166648568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111951133848545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164350497035268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413218901613593,0.0,0.0,0.1782300117462082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461340201569023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739916084834492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303114098872265,0.0,0.0,0.1774931496558807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398446981713746,0.0,0.13424374434726127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111608097563092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921722622029628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4468104175363091,0.0,0.2659762044701813,0.0,0.0851725347492602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354038703289895,0.0,0.2114577298330428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494437572921884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047060802502645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763763255555425,0.09996345077780328,0.0,0.11620601604305987,0.1224044526397816,0.0,0.15436766267018825,0.08832748319068226,0.1703807047376292,0.0,0.0,0.07752545238684345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148279473715146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JOYtotheLAURA,2019/03/09,"I want an official ASD diagnosis (even though I’m 32 years old). I’ve been trying to figure out what is “wrong” with me for the last 23 years. I genuinely believe that I have what’s called “high-functioning” Autism. I fully and sincerely believe that I have high-functioning Autism. I don’t have issues with verbal language and I graduated from high school and college, but there are several issues that affect my day-to-day life, and my ability to fully relate to others. 

I’ve been diagnosed with depression, OCD, and ADHD. I never felt that any of these mental illnesses/disorders FULLY described my symptoms. For so long, I just felt that no one fully understood what I was going through, and there was no way for me to make them. 

Once I started working with children on the AU spectrum, I realized that I had exhibited several AU symptoms during my own childhood (stimming, extreme sensitivity to certain sounds, repulsion to certain food textures (raw tomatoes, melons [except for perfectly-ripe watermelon], raw pieces of meat of any kind, too much yogurt in my throat), inability to control emotions, separation anxiety, social rejection by my peers, and inability to retain information within the context of a non-preferred subject.

Several such symptoms extend into my adulthood. ",10.472487824675326,9.861812084821429,10.26253246753247,57.75519480519482,57.61607142857143,13.145454545454545,44.47077922077922,12.24349002098031,5.943907142857142,1033,54,146,28,11,340,142,224,0.117,0.8029999999999999,0.08,-0.885,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,2,8,7,0,0,5,0,11,7,1,3,3,30,19,10,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,11,13,1,2,6,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,8,3,23,4,29,11,3,16,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,8,102,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834076977550533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565585346448408,0.0,0.08805941993484775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593808263707565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754096092891606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910651069470816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847384073023406,0.0,0.099144732975451,0.1168350031230188,0.0,0.0,0.13192690909219024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294841168188595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602957445868555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22104877180948196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919239361259433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654201003160674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648625288223471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402914632934781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987014772880247,0.0,0.09383063687171524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130613734785104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186940444813043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683732929690437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600457649177155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461965687976261,0.0,0.08878051810164543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078938385339677,0.12258920761237295,0.07800203326079364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649823936186407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39012719745382507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734092838637547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147599173703067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589324789900602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309574188307248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815265317234428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789531144589732,0.0913695670655888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380200767500731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258555508251171,0.0,0.14825511684339915
mentalhealth,Msterland98,2019/03/09,"Who else experiences thoughts like these? I should stipulate that I talk to myself internally all day every day. Always have, unsure if that's 'normal' but we won't open that can of worms.

My mind and I will often...disagree. For example, I will often say to myself that I don't love my girlfriend, or miss my deceased mother, or that I'd be better off dead but then I will instantly disagree and provide evidence TO MYSELF, of the contrary. I routinely have what I think are referred to as 'intrusive thoughts' such as earlier where I suddenly thought of taking control of the car while my girlfriend was driving and taking us into the barrier. 

Does anybody else here go through anything similar? Is this something I should be worried about? Is this a condition which I need help with?",5.495115987460814,7.3393797655172435,5.9081504702194385,76.18235109717871,68.58620689655173,8.858934169278996,34.56112852664577,9.339509955726095,3.4913448275862065,626,31,104,13,11,201,97,145,0.152,0.787,0.061,-0.9282,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,4,0,16,1,0,1,1,26,26,12,1,5,5,1,0,1,2,6,0,1,0,0,11,7,0,2,5,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,4,1,20,3,16,14,1,12,0,1,0,1,10,4,0,4,6,82,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911858540280766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573659034671753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912729525114842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21448057929833647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466549146059045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734656311725735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194960656370901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111942779077787,0.0,0.0,0.18705952399112635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868035188964748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281773625543808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342526357666772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259243946913955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19308767273559466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179453842339404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18736468767787887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520736818461937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472181099482116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875621529056222,0.15370333981256554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225323903054202,0.0,0.455445509969941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23002600899701506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420323314885546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RNsteve,2019/03/09,"Experienced a major panic attack at work yesterday...still ongoing today. Advice? I'm a registered nurse who moved to BC from the east coast 6 months back. 

Found myself working casual at a hospital and at a couple prisons.

I was orientation at a max security prison Tuesday to Friday. After the firetday I just found myself wanting to leave.. counting down the hours. The staff had no time to explain anything more then once and treated me like a idiot if I had trouble.

Was preparing replacement meds Friday at 11, couldn't identify a generic medicines(listed under its trade name arthrotec vs Diclofenac sodium – misoprostol ) the staff was just overlooking my shoulder and I just felt like I had a ton of bricks on my chest.. couldn't breathe. 

Just said I was not feeling myself, wouldn't be able to learn anything today and left.  I drove the 30 min drive trying to take deep breaths but just zoned in on the road .got home still panicking. Took 2 mg Ativan watched some Netflix and slept...

Today I woke up feeling 60% myself..was cleaning up, about yourself go out and view a apartment and...bam. It hit me again. Just feeling like I'm about to break down. I'm due to head to the hospital tomorrow night for a night shift and
....I'm.not sure what to do.

That second attack out of no where has me stressed.",4.43620811287478,6.710277300411523,4.6076308054085855,82.63814814814816,72.29218106995884,7.426925338036449,29.26690182245737,8.269060116576782,2.245956848912405,1036,43,183,17,21,323,154,243,0.127,0.82,0.054000000000000006,-0.9365,0,0,0,0,1,0,42.0,0,0,0,2,12,13,3,2,18,0,13,6,6,0,1,34,33,10,0,5,10,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,2,0,5,9,0,1,8,2,1,5,6,6,0,1,16,8,16,7,32,12,4,44,0,0,2,0,4,21,0,2,20,111,21,6,0.13536795144592506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227999546316327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22279257988605825,0.0,0.0,0.3080011742434386,0.0,0.1040895988969402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978206353532986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20533831080871487,0.09670689156076448,0.1299744619176572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968479434078945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693272636238445,0.0,0.10826611686901087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892657183845672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357850925283811,0.0,0.13331016437691764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333511499204832,0.1470776753272779,0.0,0.0,0.1984018301314151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036327753623194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080494073585481,0.14387470940778702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540673047109659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416245035790487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15882512436729904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876592077404145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810502088662713,0.0,0.15506353102074066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758269222388333,0.0,0.10177985273791584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893414108834779,0.0,0.38493896943488703,0.0,0.15039877488930425,0.09190595324607916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984352502549143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970989617543079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kattyprod83,2019/03/09,Debating medication Anyone have any advice or insight for debating whether or not to put child (13 years old) on anti depressant medication. She's been seeing a therapist regularly for her depression but the therapist suggested it may help. I'm undecided. ,8.738992248062019,10.850518558139536,10.306976744186047,46.695968992248076,61.093023255813954,15.965891472868213,44.56589147286822,14.06817628641468,8.339440310077519,210,13,27,11,3,74,38,43,0.175,0.7490000000000001,0.076,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,7,5,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,4,3,0,4,0,2,1,0,5,1,0,3,2,17,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307359400136801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057123399862142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510217453556067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067435136499369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826777385251325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757366719124108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24777059217208544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23736808903298626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18815887062727887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5483122867189326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520549940771874
mentalhealth,lily191,2019/03/09,"Blog ideas Hey guys! 

I’m a psychiatry resident and super interested in integrative medicine with plans of incorporating that into my practice. I’ve also suffered from my own share of mental health issues so I’m really invested in the field of mental health. I would love to start a blog and was wondering if there’s anything in particular you’re looking to learn/hear about? 

Thanks :) 
",5.463761904761904,7.954477185714289,6.491428571428576,69.30190476190478,70.0,9.80952380952381,30.23809523809524,10.125756701596842,3.5898095238095244,313,13,51,9,6,104,55,70,0.041,0.711,0.248,0.9432,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,8,9,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,5,12,7,1,5,0,1,1,1,4,4,0,2,1,28,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122435530068712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648527006620289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22438500046054866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4817634169810916,0.2554121691718247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558213465747668,0.0,0.2365277339294397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902999683454726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452936104103947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4567503019369693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517570960483706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16039963660029594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20863713077326626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24575487257591064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609811686704198,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dex-04,2019/03/09,"I get way too emotionally invested in my hobbies and interests. I need help/advice please. So I'm pretty depressed , and since I'm very unhappy with my life in general, I tend to look to my hobbies and interests to find fulfillment. This usually leads to be getting very attached and invested emotionally into my hobbies , almost as if I'm attaching my self worth to them.  Now this works well if things turn out well, for example if my favorite basketball player  has  a good game, or my favorite tv show gets a good rating , or my favorite movie studio has another hit, basically when things go well with those things I feel a little better about myself. However when things go poorly it hits me twice as hard and I get very sad angry and defensive, so if people criticize a TV show I like it's like I'm the one they''re are criticizing.  I also can't stop checking to find out what other people think about my interests and to see how well they're doing. For example I've spent a good chunk of today checking box office numbers for Captain Marvel, and getting angry if it's not doing as well a predicted because I like marvel studios so much, even though I'm probably not going to even see the movie until it's out on streaming.  

I know all of this is irrational , I know it doesn't make sense to be so invested in these frivolous things but I don't really know how to stop. I wish I could just go back to casually enjoying things, and not have to attach my self worth to their performance.  Does anyone have any advice for me?",5.6381127060074405,6.340545474747479,6.676686159844056,75.03561403508773,67.31649831649833,10.293035619351409,31.456494772284245,10.307518312809881,3.3013946127946125,1214,47,222,30,19,407,155,297,0.059,0.7490000000000001,0.192,0.9798,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,4,23,20,1,0,8,0,14,1,0,4,1,47,44,31,0,8,12,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,18,15,0,3,7,6,9,5,6,3,5,2,1,5,28,17,35,38,2,24,0,2,3,0,6,9,0,8,12,148,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815063208216818,0.0,0.0,0.09299760253622674,0.0,0.0,0.07426947314256648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315594768452447,0.09738408584286387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649380591897215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141261256260557,0.0,0.0566137325714139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213748058689209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415050360403445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999026796205484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127265950132614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089363477076523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268177746763645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046958727190924934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976612133239571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24260817736598084,0.0,0.2111245326842512,0.2336891528969117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319481053142964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224994973670873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311958946415566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655980355005304,0.13611727950757935,0.09308185195582258,0.0,0.0,0.07798884628180955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199258776025837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827139299820742,0.06886319638579905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293227441200455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287711005130479,0.0,0.0,0.10194524901605348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448391731856022,0.10013141146078612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949599570962631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480134578752463,0.0,0.19377089674046485,0.0,0.0,0.07682443843815788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15528981659718452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701990255256951,0.05950844194032363,0.09124598379658108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880315221239341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010177519816606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228506803674177,0.2298866618344076,0.0,0.07371724078336138,0.0,0.0,0.4175141048459423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679788344216327,0.0,0.0,0.0676117111671662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TightBear,2019/03/09,"Why do I feel like this? I've been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder (as well as depression, anxiety, etc.) I don't even know if I have any reason for all of this. I've recently decided to isolate myself, but when I look back on my life, the times I was happiest overall were when I was mostly alone. I have a few friends to text and occasionally talk with throughout the day, but there are times when I have no one to talk to (even if it's just small talk.) I end up dissociating after this and I'm not quite sure why the whole thing happens. Any guesses or advice?",4.561474358974358,5.494517572649574,5.847083333333334,79.19062500000005,69.85470085470085,9.610683760683765,30.009615384615394,9.827888789773867,2.72978717948718,464,18,95,11,8,156,80,117,0.129,0.7609999999999999,0.111,0.3801,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,1,2,20,16,13,0,2,7,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,4,2,11,4,13,12,5,13,0,1,1,0,5,3,0,5,11,68,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637022666190185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350407926481792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278437850456124,0.0,0.12815520784218035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12881542073864627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803895785361683,0.0,0.1442879577258978,0.17003307675147422,0.0,0.0,0.19199672751870375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837631606673948,0.0,0.18683326069075568,0.22129570974040785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470503995561422,0.11967899825476905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294284312906215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845462939993042,0.0,0.14814069612376846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206667016914014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183269766978704,0.08184364078169498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067775545819294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351842644484435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627527409675944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17818212572866168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224231284892685,0.16540948984361226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788914888663153,0.0,0.0,0.4039477262028754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129533359932978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19536888800977176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506239672520028,0.0,0.30232824984189777,0.1870342807906058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PacuFTW,2019/03/09,"Am I really the bad person in this story? I had a friend circle, who I really enjoyed, we were playing computer games and other stuff and whatnot, hanging out together, them drinking alcohol and other things (I didn't drank because I personally don't like alcohol). They were good friends, to which I've spoken to as a daily basis. However I've made one mistake, because one would call me a degenerate while being drunk, so I called him autistic (which he is by paper). And they tossed me out of their friend circle, not even wanting to talk to me. We had a discord server which I wanted to leave because of this (I wanted some time to refresh and whatnot) and the guy who called me a degenerate insisted that I'd stay there but I don't know why. I left anyway, thinking to myself that I need this break and I don't want to talk to them. However one week later when I try to go back there, they just wouldn't accept me back, unless I change for the better, because of my behaviour. And don't get me wrong I want to go back to this circle, but is it worth changing my entire personality because of this? I even went to a psychiatrist because I am so lost right now, and I don't know what to do. And I'ts not like I have that many friends or any other people I could talk to, they were the only ones. I am shaking writing this letter, because I'm afraid of the future. What should I do?  


TLDR; My friend called me a degenerate, I called him autistic, and I wanted to time to keep my calm, and cool, but they won't accept me, and I don't know what to do.",3.826363636363638,4.746775133757963,5.2336884771279655,82.960920671685,71.54777070063695,7.747307469600464,26.69310943833237,8.00094639256281,1.5568777070063695,1208,39,245,16,22,406,145,314,0.08800000000000001,0.794,0.118,0.9202,2,0,3,0,0,0,42.0,2,0,8,2,13,21,0,2,12,1,27,5,0,1,0,47,47,23,0,12,8,0,0,2,5,4,2,0,0,4,23,17,5,1,6,4,1,5,11,6,0,4,10,1,50,15,30,31,1,23,0,1,0,0,35,5,0,2,13,180,73,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18218486762407768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057964084835065176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966259814617654,0.07116933702247376,0.36371780054569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538520230365824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4351825498580886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18033889397070613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680548109726211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349981272089922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259647297784367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292694847874439,0.0,0.04453281595826041,0.0,0.09688430600711342,0.0714927539430583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439803375772638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576256453116084,0.0,0.0,0.1405320828680318,0.0,0.0,0.09025367875981244,0.0926102529897474,0.0,0.0,0.08328498820419547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304625752303428,0.0,0.0,0.08065331303518528,0.0,0.08641694240686992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320215757443692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23103519631136066,0.06482658158905921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059092605432251276,0.223276989415874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921001327969923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279193470141962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908513038872467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757597548173633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20553082249636764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056627677223734414,0.054616429702893814,0.0,0.0,0.0994047636319219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057870329827036014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301649956150725,0.0,0.06837198226443522,0.0,0.0,0.07901555558906774,0.07691313729871697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054992125105576,0.09319328188067386,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jessmarlanaw,2019/03/09,"Trying To Help. My (27/f) cousin (21/f) has recently been diagnosed with bipolar mania. She went with us to the doctor willingly. She was experiencing almost all of the symptoms the doctor discussed with us. 

The doctors solution was to put her on medications. 

It’s only been a day and a half and I know that things could be slow going but my cousin is trying to plan her life in this state of mind.
Some of her plans:

-quitting her job (I convinced her to retract her two week notice until her doctor thinks she is in the right head space)

-adding hundreds of random people on Facebook (to inspire them, and being them peace and happiness because she is claiming to be psychic) 

-creating videos that exhibit her violent mood swings and outlandish theories (laughing and crying and anger all in one video about how the story of Adam and Eve is about your soul being female and your body being male or vice versa, for all people, not just transexuals) 
-taking out loans, accepting/applying for pre-approved credit cards and spending them all immediately (she hasn’t done this one because we’re currently convincing her not to)

To paint a picture, this woman is very budgeted, cheap, and shy as her “normal” personality. She also would not add random strangers, or be willing to deplete her accounts or quit her job without substantial savings to fall back on. She also left her boyfriend of a year to date a 16 year old she had known for a few months. 


I’m worried. Our whole family is worried. When we express our feelings about this stuff, or tell her it’s not a wise decision, she gets extremely upset, crying, screaming, shaking and turning the tables on others around her.

I need advice on how to proceed. She claims this is who she is now and that we can’t stop her from living her life. I don’t want her to do something right now in this head space if she is going to regret it when she comes back from whatever this is.


I need advice.

",6.020687214611873,7.029651117808221,6.214674657534246,77.59415810502286,66.58904109589041,8.713470319634705,31.6466894977169,8.841846274778883,2.6443538812785388,1538,60,271,24,24,491,202,365,0.12,0.797,0.08199999999999999,-0.9456,3,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,6,2,3,4,15,15,2,2,14,0,31,13,3,2,4,60,45,27,0,8,12,2,1,0,0,3,10,1,0,3,17,22,0,1,6,2,6,7,8,6,0,4,7,3,49,8,46,28,7,44,1,1,0,0,52,16,0,9,20,202,66,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19090442129758656,0.0,0.0,0.09781286631710832,0.0,0.0,0.1562300500188931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695631489544993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502204817209259,0.0,0.11909019812770127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850096562959287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414306323456018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798989542275954,0.0,0.21459478739368504,0.0629958129249351,0.0,0.0,0.09914360622211807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999203413080021,0.0,0.0999610199537183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208444015118906,0.0,0.049390173293534685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051034006410847016,0.0,0.11102810786795422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398266128978924,0.0,0.0,0.20049665640534295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547315033709092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19386555957642196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536826238036754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061301007602744,0.0,0.1379891890133158,0.0,0.0,0.0862536318363401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840278245783246,0.0,0.0,0.09862941453404499,0.0,0.07796760769119833,0.0,0.0,0.14485764016613395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570610691097092,0.0,0.11120984606122963,0.10249920647465648,0.0,0.13238160933654394,0.07429038809291097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543865751897394,0.08529080607227071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819583734694642,0.0,0.207790376396976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964476655940671,0.0,0.0,0.16683715063929766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519918691486764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166523467802166,0.0,0.0,0.1118207517563438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152739449110088,0.0734435460881772,0.0,0.08537702358787536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489455428051326,0.06258969175018092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263723480495365,0.10624828598552252,0.09541961154347528,0.0,0.23499512188999805,0.0,0.0,0.08059660575061939,0.057614463494578334,0.0,0.07835336944503897,0.0,0.0,0.09055076091008196,0.0,0.1090567402473361,0.0,0.09416047341150496,0.0,0.0,0.1983984882589482,0.0,0.06938939303094928,0.0,0.0,0.12580602158464074
mentalhealth,7layersof_facemasks,2019/03/09,"Does anyone know how to stop repetitive thoughts? I want to stop, but I feel like my hands keep moving on their own and I can’t stop the racing “what- ifs” going through my mind. I’m a college student at a bit of a crossroads as far as school and careers go. I’ve cycling through the same thoughts about emailing over a hundred people, creating excel sheets with a state by state breakdown of pros and cons, and plotting out my actions for every semester. I think I have 50 tabs open on my laptop with the same five windows open. 

",4.974436813186814,5.896759548076923,4.840824175824178,86.81846153846153,68.90384615384616,7.096703296703296,32.164835164835175,6.868970318607317,1.833825824175824,419,18,82,3,7,129,74,104,0.07400000000000001,0.816,0.11,0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,8,0,2,1,1,1,0,25,12,9,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,0,4,5,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,2,10,2,18,10,4,18,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,1,5,50,11,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15725977789907666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455395286927971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19681709835376196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189493334523876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371942895449284,0.16067317064615855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556389699141707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999071341170552,0.0,0.0,0.12360267066590674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098779021664828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270913412728554,0.0,0.0,0.23903990049994214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592177314183478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276172748390527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.564095440473072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441109340104306,0.0,0.35710110428231123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13265561651674915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ghstgrls,2019/03/09,"I finally feel like I’m setting myself up for success. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since middle school. I started seeing therapists in 6th grade for self harm but no one ever really stuck or helped much. High school was full of panic attacks and I barely completed my first year of college before dropping out. 

I moved out of my parents house and into my grandmas basement, thinking it would help my mental state because my parents are hoarders and my sister is a kleptomaniac and I couldn’t stand living there. Unfortunately it didn’t help much because often times I was too anxious to go upstairs, my place became extremely messy, and the picking at my fingers became so much worse (biting and picking at my fingers is a HUGE trigger for my anxiety but at the same time it’s caused by my anxiety, I’m a mess). I was hospitalized and put into inpatient which eventually connected me with a psychiatrist. 

For a long time I had seen medication as my holy grail. My parents didn’t believe in it and now I was finally getting a chance to fix my brain chemicals, I truly thought it would help my situation. As it turned out my psychiatrist was a complete piece of shit. He was a pill pushing asshole, I was never in clear understanding of what I was taking or why. The medications he put me on caused me to be in a deep sleep for 10-12 hours a day minimum. Come to find out he had put me on a sleeping pill for god knows what reason because I don’t have trouble sleeping. He came off as extremely rude and dismissive and I cried every time I left his office but kept going because I was scared I would go off the rails if I stopped taking my medications.

Eventually I had enough and told him off in his office, which might have been unnecessary but it sure felt necessary to me. Then I went to find a general doctor that could prescribe me a months worth of my medications until I could find a new psychiatrist. I don’t remember how I found the doctor I did but it was more or less random. 

She ended up being SO helpful. She gave me a ton of information on the medications I had been taking. She reassured me that I could stop taking the sleeping pill (THANK GOD) and not have it effect my mood. We talked through some of my other health concerns as well. She noticed the picking on my fingers and I broke down crying because I am so embarrassed. She reassured me it’s normal, I’m not crazy, and that I can and will get better. 

It’s been a few months of me stopping my other medication. I’m about to start my new medication, I have a wonderful boyfriend who stops me from picking my fingers which helps me immensely. I’ve become less anxious about going upstairs and more motivated about cleaning my place (even though these are definitely works in progress still). I have a cat now and he gives me so much purpose. I’m applying for new jobs and looking into esthetician school which is what I’ve always wanted to do but have been held back by my anxieties about myself and my fingers. I know things don’t happen overnight but I feel like I’m putting some of the stepping stones down towards a better life and a better me!!",6.197654535723842,6.659225688118813,6.861924003211132,75.03767861921328,66.04620462046205,9.71966818303452,33.87012755329587,9.635858565294015,3.193431861564534,2501,106,458,48,37,825,276,606,0.136,0.7340000000000001,0.131,0.4664,4,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,0,0,9,21,24,3,4,29,0,49,25,11,11,4,98,93,44,0,10,13,4,8,2,0,5,14,0,1,1,26,33,0,6,18,0,1,14,10,12,1,2,32,11,85,11,68,50,16,85,0,2,3,0,33,36,1,10,33,328,111,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046945145834541895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264158923831385,0.12747487136782087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418478229853744,0.0,0.04338274528435188,0.0,0.17196256036627294,0.06231037704474651,0.04800843215926651,0.06356491746670277,0.0,0.14969412001874213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298228730455323,0.0,0.06452833082735744,0.0,0.11591575360322405,0.0,0.04859999166467244,0.11830854204060327,0.0,0.0,0.13513799433146825,0.0,0.12394729259549475,0.03638560168087174,0.0,0.0485936208703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549451913772756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04997050732935015,0.0582959313532293,0.0,0.0372642318487096,0.051034235336911385,0.047535459263092134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057054305324995815,0.08061152100270821,0.05417110868519419,0.12360856145057515,0.15469789163403874,0.04798999118615743,0.0,0.06186054540280754,0.0,0.0,0.058953220642038326,0.05412226674055203,0.12825692123627455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04989115471837227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997078198191243,0.0,0.0,0.2268988866097416,0.05960979423136922,0.0,0.0,0.05556137180147118,0.06509997628216599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598717361416022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201283787645095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061299432348235,0.0,0.03985042365980552,0.055126968507599516,0.0,0.04981902996101169,0.04992905895728633,0.04737776888218597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978536027063576,0.056857104155564664,0.05985166638646745,0.0,0.0,0.09006624998530685,0.05996449152694015,0.1658978909392278,0.0,0.04351382779323624,0.16346952869140535,0.0,0.0,0.05527866254601717,0.0,0.06423343034872239,0.0,0.0,0.038230989359021916,0.0,0.0,0.06619556601427726,0.18793994115702914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178917393677201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268668000956251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0361434701054639,0.05800815106347624,0.0,0.0,0.06391175355463075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564852832759409,0.17129718661937215,0.04495865583988145,0.0,0.0588573443482581,0.0,0.057913315192707863,0.046670397914012014,0.06341734445311116,0.2258390680759224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986734814206009,0.0,0.04505630374969145,0.18867531426002127,0.0,0.05898141154788555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531742604265458,0.0,0.16968033206774685,0.04534747266946052,0.0,0.0519430552088864,0.0,0.06550683289390713,0.03748229118214682,0.03615103111796178,0.055431402538268164,0.04479040130374135,0.13159354146288474,0.0,0.0,0.0539107931866992,0.0,0.0,0.06136769467124949,0.0,0.05873419149671433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033277400868988186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05072747631877097,0.05230099851715641,0.05090939182571032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118402255030937,0.04107371987312322,0.0,0.057495803303651935,0.12023536319993502,0.0,0.0,0.03633200031792912
mentalhealth,fuckthegards,2019/03/09,"My boyfriend doesn’t understand Anytime I’m having a bad day, my boyfriend asks me what’s wrong so that he can try to help, but he doesn’t understand that he can’t help even though i’ve told him. He always assumes it’s something to do with him if i’m feeling down, and anytime i tell him what’s wrong or that there’s nothing specifically wrong i’m just having a bad day, he gets upset about it. I end up having to comfort him because me being sad makes him sad, even though i’m the one who needed comforting in the first place. I understand it’s because he cares and I feel selfish getting annoyed over it but I can’t help it. It makes me feel like he only cares about my feelings if they’re affecting him and it’s just so draining sometimes ",4.369935483870968,4.8234456387096785,4.995645161290323,86.85346774193552,70.03225806451613,7.7483870967741915,30.338709677419352,7.554174236665415,1.7320193548387093,594,23,126,6,10,191,79,155,0.205,0.634,0.161,-0.8705,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,11,15,1,1,4,0,10,0,0,3,0,23,30,12,0,3,7,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,0,8,0,0,0,4,10,0,2,1,4,17,5,10,28,0,9,0,2,0,0,20,5,0,4,5,73,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089243104059962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237947465531142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186021478150219,0.1595982116622905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669348606508054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688471300425724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594389483145075,0.0,0.0,0.17292440718943455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647601047026961,0.0935192998115878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134860917815792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678600397320986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26323067397598177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395407792135516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17476159393614307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706516858483964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560787416159327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887053193262506,0.09955994086610027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367689479382108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077786365928897,0.12946941899041367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441764726147165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572290356748858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508632930863686,0.0,0.08887660700674374,0.0,0.0,0.4088334070948422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4293756082330713,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,julsie87390,2019/03/09,"Therapist talks about herself a lot..what to do Hey peoples! I am a therapist who has been seeing a therapist for my mental health issues for the past 3-4 months. At first I really liked that this therapist helped me focus on my emotions. So, instead of letting me ramble and intellectualize like I tend to do, she would stop me and say “how are you feeling right now? I noticed you just switched the subject and it seemed to be when you got uncomfortable about xyz. What feeling was that?” And it has been supremely helpful because I’m mostly unaware of my feelings to a degree. However; I am often frustrated that my therapist self discloses too much. Some weeks are better than others. My therapist is MUCH older than me, and I think she is trying really hard to connect with me. Problem is, I don’t feel super connected to her. 

She often gets really caught up in my syntax and how I edit my thoughts, and it feels like she has trouble keeping up with me. This is frustrating. Then when she isn’t playing catch up, she is rambling about herself. Yesterday, I wanted to talk about the deep sense of shame I feel when I’m trying to make friends. I tend to push people I really like away, afraid that they can see the real me and will ultimately reject me. My therapist kept interrupting me to talk about herself and I timed it...her self disclosure went on for a full 15 minutes at one point. None of what she said really related to my situation or taught some principle that I should learn from. I also noticed the urge to start taking care of HER, which I ignored. 

So my question is, should I give up on this therapist? I’ve put a lot into developing the trust, but while I trust her, I still just don’t feel that connection. She doesn’t “get” me and I have to overly explain myself. Secondly, she talks about herself at an inappropriate level and I am unsure how (OR IF) I should address it. Thoughts?",3.5920286885245893,5.7100799890710405,4.829641393442625,80.80790471311477,74.24590163934425,7.962978142076503,27.55771857923497,8.751876143730069,2.2833062841530047,1500,59,278,31,32,495,187,366,0.066,0.8390000000000001,0.094,0.8736,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,3,1,3,24,20,2,2,13,0,32,1,0,4,0,55,65,26,0,7,6,0,8,4,1,5,1,2,1,2,18,14,0,4,14,1,0,5,5,8,0,3,11,12,63,12,46,47,8,40,0,1,2,0,36,19,0,11,20,217,81,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936516473094172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974559415384791,0.0,0.0,0.045252556911020085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565422991846577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568684415271493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350362655822577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627457446648846,0.05303301826410819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631436808886009,0.0,0.0,0.057353257134711025,0.0,0.07756874422285573,0.07121233106245949,0.0,0.0,0.05937197298592334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649937616330233,0.0,0.0,0.07890761857855932,0.0,0.0,0.09951540960897287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748135102955614,0.0,0.0659828809758338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759096292056374,0.0,0.14506857041490254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622274087126747,0.0,0.0,0.049551989919474015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481074182994417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05925313182330405,0.0,0.10914154417036144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903254733207046,0.0,0.0,0.05030310138581357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086506520811776,0.10292947116869204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017543396451323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103222567228497,0.0,0.0746260026069156,0.08315943591288008,0.0,0.0,0.08449491644309573,0.2377820547719127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339570991461058,0.07061384476321042,0.05903411662588993,0.0,0.0,0.11831029543313468,0.06758014353810722,0.15488518658236014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344249419459768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254343895311765,0.0,0.05928362968341254,0.0620632216256154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581497556228001,0.23866696138680735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6895342049521178,0.0,0.04756635949049518,0.0,0.11786752766112665,0.04328663323202515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080047075067128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04378532959346619,0.0,0.05954629962374802,0.0,0.0,0.06881596513972903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052733936235240406,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrMayouta,2019/03/09,"I'm either really sad or really happy I have days where I'm either really sad and think I wanna stay sad and lonely for my whole life or I'm extremely happy and think about how stupid I was for wanting to stay sad. Today was all sad unfortunately. I wanna know how I can turn all of my days happy, I know that isn't possible and that  everyone has bad days but right now it's like 80% of my days are sad and 20% are happy. And the sad days are really bad, I start thinking about how everyone hates me, I snap really easily, I can't do work or enjoy the things I like doing, my self esteem goes to 0 and sometimes if it's extra bad I start having suicidal thoughts. ",3.0642857142857127,3.9252654285714286,5.378571428571429,81.43642857142858,73.28571428571428,9.028571428571428,21.142857142857142,9.3871,1.4815142857142851,520,10,110,12,10,184,72,140,0.276,0.5670000000000001,0.158,-0.9604,0,2,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,7,20,2,0,2,0,13,1,0,3,2,28,27,15,1,4,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,13,0,0,3,0,16,7,10,24,6,13,0,8,0,0,1,2,0,4,11,69,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928996499725992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770568723642777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234668014446004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979045460403652,0.0,0.11544600067629543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285253815572875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259242894673323,0.11425399811006508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182309985097132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745477102147917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985916728970637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198542912807367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564859687940683,0.0,0.16552994098380172,0.2492676033568205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790447315504405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768433022569612,0.2247756381049203,0.0,0.09283083333706717,0.0,0.0,0.1108377283041504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12718828299113566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896943907715733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055024287694386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512778481752052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,droppingplanets,2019/03/09,"tldr; perpetually been on the verge of a breakdown for a solid three months now, but i can't seem to make it all the way there and that's making it worse it's been about two years since I got diagnosed with anxiety, and due to various circumstances in my life I haven't been in touch with my therapist or mental health specialist in about nine months. in that time, circumstances have changed a great deal for me mental health-wise, having gone from a period of somewhat improvement to a plummet. 

first off, of course, is this inexplicable sense of guilt I've got about feeling like a pile of trash (about myself, my actions, my feelings — yes, this is vague but that's how it goes), which really only set in  around the beginning of december.

i haven't really attempted to identify what this, but whatever it is, it's been somewhat omnipresent and very lowkey weighing down most aspects of my life. two days ago, my finals ended, and the first that hit me was just how much I've been repressing because I needed to spend all my time studying and couldn't effort a breakdown. now, obviously, some kind of meltdown on my part seems inevitable, yeah? 

but strangely enough, the issue is simply that the meltdown just isn't coming. everything to push that meltdown is *there* but it's just not coming through. and this obvious lack of catharsis is making me feel even worse about myself (adding onto that undentified feeling of trashness) and I wish it would just _happen_ because I desperately need some kind of relief, but no matter what, I can't push myself into it. and right now it's this feeling of simultaneous numbness, yet extreme trash-feeling that's doing me in.

and all I want is some relief, which I thought I had during exams but turns out I was lying to myself.

I don't expect a solution to be handed to me on a silver platter but I've been feeling beyond distanced from absolutely all of my close friends and I can't imagine going to anyone I know in my life with this right now, thus turning to the sense of anonymity that reddit provides me with.

that's all folks, I'm done here
",7.773753290260828,7.265474233668343,7.574292893036612,74.51491624790624,62.94472361809045,10.294520220148364,34.2790141182101,9.606745405546679,3.1213506580521653,1667,61,301,27,21,532,192,398,0.098,0.792,0.11,0.4383,0,0,0,0,1,0,45.0,0,0,0,4,24,10,0,2,16,2,30,8,1,6,7,74,59,21,0,8,14,0,8,1,1,1,6,0,0,0,30,20,1,1,11,0,1,7,10,3,0,6,14,8,35,7,56,41,16,49,0,0,0,0,2,21,0,9,20,225,65,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043619757654557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804642150356286,0.0,0.0,0.07133603639254361,0.0,0.0,0.09082105951449312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438312254553335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792556963380294,0.17576554763034513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579564096866736,0.1051800280440549,0.0,0.1035500109682272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440375438243334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903610606222992,0.10541582362419956,0.0,0.0673844572145642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169064333780357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610971223264857,0.0728844164836318,0.0,0.11175992912233527,0.0,0.17355943473837732,0.0,0.0,0.07882181358944383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579813576770183,0.0,0.16319235631699305,0.11247942889605947,0.0,0.0,0.09021756826101797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168888712903428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648428550736584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21248007498251165,0.05606853024107239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161831092336934,0.049842713326956736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20430109330555946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20562801980566453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16286570439050427,0.0,0.0749977846005696,0.1512957900122086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759219978966828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047970106711666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071559477171135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425217254960934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857536866231332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843935129051192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845520917544272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099393790079247,0.11897950024060135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22194091174185554,0.19932100915866305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417869520280419,0.06017511924496804,0.0809801807583452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732007077111208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20793792360789495,0.07247338162519301,0.0,0.0,0.06569871427600096
mentalhealth,SnowBird312,2019/03/09,"I don't know what to do. I'm honestly at a loss right now.. I've been struggling for a fair amount of time now. But I don't think I can handle it anymore. To give some background, I was raped a little over a year ago in my first year of college. Ever since then, things have gone downhill. I began to have panic attacks, and refused to go out. The panic attacks also bring on what feels like heart palpitations and thus makes me even more scared. It took me a while to tell my friends I was raped, but even then it didn't seem like they cared. One day I woke up to see they blocked me, probably because I just stopped being me. Always angry depressedand irritable. I now only have a few friends, that I rarely see/ talk to. I also live with my boyfriend but I rarely see him either. I've been very very depressed. My family knows I'm depressed and have anxiety, but they support me very little. I just feel 100% isolated and in this battle myself while also doing school full time and working 30 hours a week at a factory. While paying for an apartment, my cats, and car loan. All of which is new to me in the last 6 months. I hardly eat, barely sleep. I don't function, I never feel present. At times I have suicidal ideation (but would never act on it) My Uni just sent me an early alert email telling me I'm at risk for failing one of my classes. I don't know what to do or where to go for support. If anyone just has ideas or anything at all I would greatly appreciate it. I feel like I'm drowning.",2.027717086834734,3.9544312254902,3.171489262371616,91.78955882352942,78.24836601307189,5.678618113912232,23.673669467787114,6.5431188927421005,0.5767669467787115,1169,39,249,10,28,376,166,306,0.202,0.6920000000000001,0.106,-0.9847,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,3,4,14,24,5,5,12,0,23,5,2,2,5,44,52,22,2,3,13,0,5,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,12,8,1,3,10,0,2,8,7,14,0,3,10,8,40,10,32,39,8,55,0,4,3,2,13,19,0,5,31,164,52,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678946882331222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348907987425859,0.08146723753211757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489929527522808,0.0,0.09709835378025207,0.06845949821396523,0.0,0.0805698806632958,0.0,0.0,0.2227688001605813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968376283829676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982365560629128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314251244062666,0.0,0.16865590610535705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018425086598144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293345232399724,0.08856332424902179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229887889157018,0.0,0.19802075641743508,0.139890883553733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328043169588477,0.0,0.0,0.15128684125242642,0.0,0.0,0.0939222039243284,0.11128666107801896,0.0,0.0,0.10794383387443833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770627046841388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160213635184686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641958489412628,0.0,0.0,0.11052613086993654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614229065703836,0.0798080271493609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434986011225584,0.1962589260361152,0.0864544922654627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535430075994995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781491723025092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102525646666054,0.09456008487084924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268988884075925,0.07446338949487326,0.0,0.2297477110440728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556130364220244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361283370018048,0.0,0.0,0.09802291393297,0.09908804799604932,0.23405982211716064,0.08913169851235976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099044800030628,0.0,0.09797863376449333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185541002174458,0.0,0.10235462216874512,0.0,0.1070953797601344,0.22220950794407285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869468209694827,0.17115168528628522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504567543034769,0.06273544552397503,0.0,0.0,0.1712726967208815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087793080984509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423528776751321,0.0,0.0,0.07853583238688695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127813608301341,0.0,0.0,0.13910196278997414,0.0,0.0,0.12609898839593564
mentalhealth,nowayout_3,2019/03/09,"I think my uncle is depressed and i am really worried My uncle (my moms stepbrother) is almost a 50 year old man. His parents got divorced when he was still a teenager. He was left with his father (my  grandfather) and after that my grandpa met my grandma. And i think his mental health issues started from there. 
   Idk much about his early relationships but he eventually git divorced too, leaving his 13 year old daughter to his already a ex-wife. Their relationship has been getting worse and worse and this also affected his relationship w his daughter. Once when i was 12 we threw my grandmas ""birthday party"" and there she (daughter) came. Then something happened and she ended up arguing with my uncle. She started calling  him names and other horrible things. 
   After that i have heard my mom and grandma talking about him and his mental state. 
   3 months ago my grandma visited us and i overheard her and my mom talking. She said that my uncle accidentally broke one of his fake teeth. He started crying and shaking crazily and my grandma finally calmed him down.  
    Also he is very bad tempered and can get angry about very small things. Once he had argument with one of my other relatives where later he realized what he had done and apologized.
   I feel like everyone can see that he has some mental health issues but no ones saying anything. I don't have very close relationship with him but i really love him and respect him and am very worried. And I'm curious about his mental health. What should i think about that?


  P.S. I'm only 15 years old and if i said anything to my mom she'd think I'm crazy or smth. That's common reaction in my family, like my opinion doesn't matter",3.871142857142857,6.412725495238099,4.687857142857143,80.15464285714287,75.0,7.120634920634919,28.277777777777786,8.131152278815165,2.2323777777777774,1341,56,228,23,30,432,164,315,0.188,0.7290000000000001,0.083,-0.9881,1,0,1,0,2,0,33.0,2,0,1,0,14,12,2,1,3,0,22,5,1,1,0,45,45,30,0,2,5,10,1,2,0,1,3,4,0,1,13,27,0,0,6,0,0,4,3,7,0,3,14,6,54,5,19,29,2,34,0,2,1,1,65,7,0,5,24,151,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885816433024958,0.0,0.07778476965589998,0.0,0.08572122811968193,0.12424049014831685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784717219727054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485911379955543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931942520671073,0.08884462103463843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532725159417502,0.0,0.0,0.06690521474162082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949306879997653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880095501714911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422606363650774,0.0,0.0,0.07322929217543968,0.0,0.039277074658537164,0.055494229764541235,0.0,0.08509406378490462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116863522669568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212736929372222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869169986425665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24770893637039676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215437239827135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822513439975238,0.08439897277349773,0.0,0.0,0.07590053179819246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010875558999563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131305463544701,0.0,0.0,0.3639090314481325,0.062003012826756,0.0,0.057103349265206264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445346138726484,0.16545220334279975,0.1579128601886088,0.05907873823797509,0.0,0.0,0.0862538600502042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952691672710437,0.0,0.0,0.3335947254621762,0.0,0.0,0.14778193111061633,0.06177383334414203,0.0,0.0,0.06190048137162665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05980145202493513,0.0,0.0,0.16494578864221604,0.0,0.06203492606329401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487163304985904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321357806379128,0.1990954744067268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343883946317023,0.0,0.0,0.256374796053299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15777454736138127,0.1583240350432061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500690979430204
mentalhealth,_ardiasti10,2019/03/09,"Constant anxiety and negative mind I am 23 years old working as assistant lecturer and assistant research for several projects in university and currently pursuing to get accepted in master school with scholarship. In a surface it looks like my life is fine, but it's terribly not and here is why.

I worked with perfectionist, suspicious, moody, sharp-word, outrageous, demanding professor as her assistant. She is the one who offers me to be a lecturer and so i ended up being her assistant till i get my master degree. 

The thing is, working with her really messed up my mental health. She is perfectionist and hard-headed, seems can't take other's opinion or point of view regarding research project (i've been seen it while she worked with other lecturer) and thus she treated me like she did to other lecturer while discussing about current project. She demand myself to have a knowledge like PhD while i only graduated less than one year ago. 

When thing didn't go in her way, or someone didn't helpful enough. She would constantly talk shit about them in front of me, and assuming that those people did really bad job or not cooperative. And she does it a lot, since she has so much thing to do yet so little time. It affected me so much, not only what she said but the way she said those thing. While in fact, those people would do it, but not in a specific time she wants. (She always rush it in 'right now' words, even when it's weekend or late)

Sometimes, it's her fault that she didn't not listening enough to other or she didn't read the message/email that been sent to her. Thus making her blaming other for the mistake that could be avoided if she really does listening or reading. It happened several occasions with me and with others too.

Because of those circumstances, i ended up crying a lot before going to bed, have low interest in field that i like (research, technology, finance and law).

I try to tell myself that is temporary till i get my master education but everytime I'm with her feels like a hell because she has those lousy traits. I ended up seeking profesional help but it didn't help me a lot and cost me a lot of money, while i am in a saving mode for low income i get.

Could anyone give a me a penny for thoughts for my condition right now? I don't what to define my current self, what should i do and what shouldn't i do.",5.663600000000002,6.6868908266666685,6.3080000000000025,76.55400000000002,67.4,10.0,31.222222222222214,10.125756701596842,3.1868222222222222,1872,73,342,45,30,612,205,450,0.157,0.77,0.073,-0.9921,5,1,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,1,7,14,22,3,1,17,0,36,3,1,4,1,66,58,40,0,9,17,0,1,5,0,4,2,4,1,1,37,20,0,1,6,3,4,5,14,12,0,2,14,8,57,10,47,35,9,56,1,2,3,0,41,21,2,14,33,253,94,23,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726520487468475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725270344874251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667985727843917,0.0,0.0,0.0609467626295615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277790171225408,0.10626815040846113,0.0,0.07416973902209857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18838560805687607,0.0,0.1391859626975992,0.0,0.09574503822376017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525547744637406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316030322625968,0.180126441129139,0.0,0.05757068553933783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044072496702282665,0.06226963895748928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18215737498056145,0.08361519464151734,0.0990740787401052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707841640603473,0.0,0.07808139683781842,0.0,0.08945492229524013,0.09265075005560386,0.0,0.0,0.17527161841506794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649634801176624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832425164122983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061566174728689485,0.2129184751193181,0.08736074972147369,0.0,0.0,0.07319540746057816,0.0,0.0,0.2964132444107167,0.0,0.0,0.058182329101926014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784033110642905,0.0,0.08801031170645401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815043859856692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914634559488826,0.0,0.11812851933628347,0.13258357547268276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085642525267155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823977039151998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437422336318914,0.0,0.16751755626065648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887434647513578,0.1658249431291067,0.0,0.0,0.08821413972049658,0.0,0.07935039861122271,0.09093056518408886,0.19693994400527226,0.08947210480645916,0.07210256777093324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385337102388467,0.0,0.08620695399571432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655361224091685,0.07005873889086033,0.0761847618586895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316302890881668,0.0,0.0,0.06919810179121491,0.10165150358291758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059178311228019365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0514113047807625,0.13837269643688052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865152298579839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25382433432109625,0.0,0.0,0.12383693320348114,0.0,0.0,0.11226090336763776
mentalhealth,alleyexplorer,2019/03/09,"Is it a romantic partner’s responsibility to help you when you are in a crisis? Is it wrong of me to ask my boyfriend to come over and help me when I’m having a breakdown on my kitchen floor? Like if I call him and tell him I can’t be alone and no one else I know can come over while he’s literally across the street getting high with his friends, is that asking too much? Is it bad to be upset with him because it’s not his responsibility to help me when I’m having a breakdown? I called a crisis hotline after a terrible conversation with my bf over the phone, and the guy who answered said that my bf’s just a 19 year old guy who wants to hang out with his friends and it’s not his responsibility to help me. I’d like some thoughts on this because I really just don’t know what to think. ",8.092321428571427,4.8408383511904765,8.52,76.72500000000002,64.29761904761905,11.504761904761908,35.904761904761905,9.23628265651192,2.780954761904762,625,20,145,8,7,210,89,168,0.138,0.723,0.138,-0.4515,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,6,8,0,1,10,0,12,1,0,0,0,24,25,10,0,2,5,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,1,3,11,12,1,0,5,0,0,3,5,4,0,1,2,1,22,4,22,21,2,21,0,0,0,0,31,11,0,2,9,96,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623448901930066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001005019585196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401474077510134,0.19568438076089056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277865386924308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765212164098225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408110190781666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24801110419227934,0.0,0.08385709402838726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178498237913417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4303317344871608,0.16958205388725694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641839818551036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682900209001652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798944050973365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684227086931875,0.0,0.10876215530086528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282343655317884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526767483305398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028820385441254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028449466430121,0.0,0.12742282280058226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466984511788312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548671992371673,0.0,0.10335978030443488
mentalhealth,Kaayloo,2019/03/09,"Just needed to vent about my sick dad So this post is not so much about asking for advice but more just me venting about my dad.

He's always been strange, paranoid and socially awkward. My mom was able to gloss over most of his behaviors while I was growing up, so he was bearable to be around. I'm grown man now and my contact with him the last few years has been sporadic/grandchilds birthdays etc. The last 6 months it has gone down hill for him really fast. He's gotten admitted against his will to the local physic facility twice and two times on his own free will. They haven't given him a diagnosis yet, but he's showing servere symptoms of paranoia and threatening to kill himself and sometimes others/not me or my family. At the moment he's out. 

My approach to protecting my own sainty has been to cut all contact with him. Whereas my siblings have chosen various other ways of dealing with him/the situation. He has adequate help from the municipality, where he gets help/looked at three times a day from professionals. So he's not lacking food, cleaning or people to react if he needs to get admitted again. The help his gotten/getting is because of the legwork done by my siblings. 

When he's out he floods me with phone calls, text messages and emails. I've not respond to any of them. I just don't want to actively communicate with him. He's then started calling my siblings and family, about how to get in contact with me. They couldn't give him any answers, besides just telling them that I didn't want any contact with him. Just today he's been ringing me 30 times and sending me dusin of texts. 

One of my brothers called me today desperate/angry and told me I had to tell him, that I didn't wish any contact with him, because he's been flooding them with phone calls. I had a fairly okay talk with my brother about the situation and agreed to write a letter to my dad asking him for no contact. At the end of the conversation with my brother we got into a argument, about the various way we are dealing with the situation. He's more hands on and I've just disconnected myself from the situation. My siblings are slightly resentful towards me, for not helping with my dad, even though they respect my way of dealing with the situation. The phone call with my brother ended rather fast after that discussion.

I felt like yelling, crying, breaking something or getting totally hammered after that phone call. I hate that my dad is so sick and I hate that I need to protect myself by cutting him out of my life for the time being. But mostly I hate arguing with my siblings about my dad because of the different ways we are dealing with the situation. 

I Just feel drained. I think I'll go buy myself some chocolate ice-cream.

Anyways thx for letting me vent. Just typing this out has made me feel a tiny bit better. ",5.431672204314411,6.529864800000002,5.8085395487230365,79.65349863625093,67.97247706422019,8.313910240515744,32.894867344408624,8.524219190627866,2.625480535581453,2256,99,415,33,37,723,251,545,0.134,0.794,0.07200000000000001,-0.989,1,0,1,0,1,0,54.0,3,0,6,1,31,14,8,1,24,1,33,6,1,3,2,82,64,29,1,10,20,11,4,1,0,2,4,2,1,1,10,38,1,2,7,1,2,6,10,9,0,4,20,6,74,6,81,38,16,55,0,0,0,0,94,18,0,7,26,290,84,2,0.06895742709482171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738439967379012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057378103407201314,0.0,0.0,0.1875736603016465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061386729937920215,0.12893177153049715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610742255191534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06098724049949623,0.07528365057051087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4224794577981729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574649567233935,0.04447183577055063,0.28436831769719345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204583447388793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056738942531987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215162551456338,0.0,0.07690575928336395,0.04554573024314578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001385042229766,0.0,0.06973389415599396,0.0,0.06620994397965628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338359456190217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013704772099776,0.06615024753819322,0.039190094942518176,0.0,0.055151553828577976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20424354886772875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18488283928592095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629117618760886,0.0,0.0,0.11241901341494356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705136412130805,0.0487066700704694,0.033689115704346184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790687138784725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524918483795461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076210519123568,0.055041160414857286,0.0,0.05069164325794722,0.1533931753032727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04672733723169141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780639739775108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604215356339957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04417589355277873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4650662235450982,0.0,0.07029341290960768,0.0,0.0530867963326688,0.06820065863362385,0.0,0.04880842181964424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167317007878421,0.0,0.055425367837904194,0.12054366140501177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418513490349251,0.06775032200468163,0.0,0.16083852111971855,0.0,0.13072715581115282,0.06589177669471938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736138636559298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134575425171123,0.2189407836953594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792976380062454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04440632219100977
mentalhealth,CrimsonLush,2019/03/09,"Been having more than 2 pannic attacks per day So I’m a hypochondriac and I worry a lot about my health and recently I felt pain in my eye and it made me worry a lot and I mean a lot and after that I’ve been having so many pannic attacks it’s like after that I opened some sort of pannic gateway, is this normal if so how long should it last and what should I do cause I can’t take this ",-0.002919896640825925,1.8874423255814,2.269224806201553,95.81285529715765,85.04651162790698,4.752454780361758,15.369509043927648,5.82211442006289,-0.7728925064599483,304,5,71,2,9,103,54,86,0.18600000000000005,0.784,0.03,-0.9174,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,4,0,9,3,1,3,0,21,14,11,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,9,1,6,8,5,8,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,7,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4318530279950653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19497833985417626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240621295731068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822391264547762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017500321934637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471348841453467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927273857667113,0.0,0.0,0.16796828253898718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4840871355591427,0.0,0.17959469125073876,0.0,0.19242884769809784,0.0,0.20674938677750745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18596509132787764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20196209112126168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874060028086387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427070455225615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385505107032609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,everything-went-numb,2019/03/09,"My depression emergency plan. Where I live, the winter months are a challenging time for the city road crews and the Department of Transportation.

A winter storm could (and will) hit the city multiple times during the winter and they need to prepare a plan ahead of time during the nice-weather months.

My city is really good at removing snow, first they start with the bus-lines and the major highways. Once those are clear they move on to the secondary roads and then on to the less used streets.

If the main highways are not totally clear, it's a good sign that none of the roads are safe to drive on.

The city is efficient because they have developed an emergency plan ahead of time and anticipate storms before they happen.

Coming up with a plan when things are calm is better than scrambling in panic when emergency strikes.

**In the same way that cities have a procedure for trouble, you can make a strategic plan for your mental health.**

For some reason or another I'll go through periods of moderate depression.

I don't look forward to going into one of my depressive funks, but I've learned a good way to cope with it.

Make a prepared action plan for when you get depressed. When the day comes where you wake up and know it's going to be one of those days, open up a file on your computer with your ""Depression Operating Procedures"" for the day.

A set of rules to follow can help you manage your depression in a healthy way.

Everyone's list is going to be different. Here's my list of operating procedures:

​

**1 - Accept being depressed**

People are quick to judge depression as a negative experience, but we shouldn’t be so quick to label it as “bad”. Society is wrong to think that we are always supposed to be happy 100% of the time.

Sometimes we need to feel bad to appreciate the good.

Sometimes depression is a natural signal from our bodies that we need to listen to.

If I could just stop being depressed because I wanted to stop then I would in a heartbeat. But since I can’t eliminate it, the best plan of action is to accept the fact that I'm going to be depressed today.

​

**2 - Go easy on myself**

Being depressed and brain-foggy sucks, but I need to listen to my body and take it easy. I'm going to clear my schedule of all non-essential tasks to lighten my workload.

I'll do all of the tasks that I can't push off until tomorrow as soon as I can, then I'm going to lighten my workload and give myself the day to relax – guilt free.

​

**3 - No junk food or TV binge watching**

Even though I'm going to give myself a guilt-free pass today, I'm not allowed to eat garbage or binge watch Youtube/Netflix. I can do anything else that I want, but I know these things are going to end up making me feel even worse and I'm not permitted to do them.

​

**4 - Spend an hour doing a few ""must-do"" things that help my depression**

It's essential that I carve out an hour and force myself to do the following things for 15 minutes each:

* List things I'm grateful for
* Write in my journal
* Meditate
* Exercise (even if it's just light work, like push-ups and jumping jacks)

Your list of must-dos will be different from mine, but having a list of important tasks you need to do will help with your mental state.

They won't totally vaporize your funk – and they may not help at all, but they'll at least give you a sense of accomplishment so you don't feel too guilty about taking it easy today.

Sometimes, one of the four tasks usually clears the depression a little bit. If that's the case then I'll spend some extra time doing whatever is helping.

But some days nothing seems to help improve my mood – and that's okay. It's okay to feel bad sometimes.

​

**TL;RD:** If you have recurring periods of mild depression, it can help to come up with a game plan ahead of time so that you know how you're going to handle it. Accept the fact that depression is a part of your life and try to figure out what works best to help you manage it.",3.3092547120222235,5.4549604015544055,4.043167380040551,86.00286138019075,75.1658031088083,7.428730194488248,25.048509424044447,8.321376580360154,1.646711811969663,3138,107,608,57,69,999,312,772,0.128,0.713,0.159,0.9626,3,0,0,0,0,0,125.0,5,18,9,20,23,44,1,2,52,2,56,8,3,8,11,110,112,50,0,16,22,0,4,1,0,8,3,2,0,0,35,34,2,3,15,4,3,27,13,24,0,5,0,10,62,20,107,92,21,110,0,16,3,0,47,31,1,13,50,398,97,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034971569414676,0.22769250502751434,0.2553497207928237,0.0,0.044071165013433666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03458635961772707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052776027410515,0.05124108582190933,0.0,0.035763659647899265,0.0,0.08821387306084523,0.037171314279969545,0.04588488038777529,0.09336968749727476,0.0,0.0469183638310396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861301750200553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711361619054672,0.0,0.0,0.13552642901165404,0.0,0.5791934923761994,0.0,0.0,0.08782290636067308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04300625121891149,0.03510991129307206,0.0,0.03722529847737978,0.0,0.0,0.0832794518548189,0.0,0.0,0.04016059621528898,0.0,0.04111251436387201,0.0,0.0,0.08500468210756297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03574992213021358,0.05082174195567396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021958464621328097,0.12095439738547968,0.26274710188936057,0.1410080251481393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03716618511658995,0.04474074739070607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044674956859750405,0.0,0.0,0.2253697025077512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827803742511787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929426544037859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02968638892155089,0.020533290199789483,0.042124189201922506,0.037112456111946066,0.0,0.035293849954487234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416423097713918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471087390810725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709443665127887,0.04467027081439254,0.0,0.1558201868921394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04032804498737713,0.0,0.0,0.04475960872665705,0.08543999647203276,0.0,0.0,0.049312080954464335,0.0,0.04551340831539773,0.0,0.02913767876216013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026924911004333488,0.04321290402810326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038261704655740775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034766897221128794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662713771214024,0.0,0.029748405930619306,0.0,0.0,0.07027640166180057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320128956598424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961129788769958,0.026930543545647702,0.041293367123668434,0.0,0.17155250088094962,0.0,0.1195159877816504,0.0,0.0,0.02853499296614428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0362996389961868,0.046289104352545116,0.0,0.04957969194649009,0.10008220505783827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061195355563470576,0.0,0.0428312329324313,0.029856259367512232,0.04595221162390136,0.2553497207928237,0.0
mentalhealth,jae_bea,2019/03/09,"Last night I was looking up reasons not to kill myself, today I'm trying to move forward. I'm 31 and I've been battling mental health issues since I was 8.  Anxiety, depression, OCD, trichotillomania, all connected to aspergers, which I wasn't diagnosed with until I was 25.  I was also diagnosed in my twenties with a rare genetic disorder that has caused my body to break down over the last 5 years.  After an unexpected early miscarriage May 2017, it's like something in my brain broke.  I've gained 30 pounds, I don't leave my house, I cry most of the time, and my saint of a partner and I have had sex less than 10 times since because a fear of becoming pregnant again has grown exponentially into a complete and irrational inability to have sex.

After starting a fight with my partner yesterday morning, struggling through my day at work, and another difficult but honest conversation last night where he told me exactly how he feels in our relationship and how my current state has affected him, I spent my night looking up how much of my meds I would need to take to overdose and reasons not to do it.  I stumbled upon a reddit post where hundreds of people responded with what keeps the going, and I was able to find reason.  I can't do that to my partner, he's lost several people in his life to suicide and I don't think he'd recover from losing another.  And for some reason, the thought of my cats looking for me after I was gone hurt me so badly, I was up all night with them crying and guilt feeding them treats.

I'm trying to restart today.  I made breakfast and listened to music.  I watched absurd anime while doing a very quick and easy work out I found online.  My apartment is starting to give off mild hoarder vibes so I'm going to start to clean up slowly.  I'll go out later and buy some clothes that fit me so I don't feel like everything is too tight, because it's just a reminder of the weight I've gained.  And probably hold my cats and cry again, but I think that's okay.

When I told my partner last night what I was looking up, and how I want to change but I don't know how, he told me he doesn't expect things to change tomorrow.  He just needs to know that change can happen, and baby steps are okay.  I feel like I'm in a place in my life where I'm financially stable, I have a roof over my head, and a partner who loves me, and it's not the time to give up.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this.  I don't talk to people about how I feel (problem #1, I know).  I think it's maybe just easier to say to strangers.  Last night was the worst moment of my life.  Tonight will be better.",5.410334846068932,5.371228072243342,6.17000490616951,81.04810315221394,67.70722433460077,9.220556850239175,30.8460689316816,8.933256019334266,2.3406186189132843,2050,73,418,32,31,675,253,526,0.122,0.777,0.101,-0.8507,1,0,1,0,1,2,53.0,1,0,2,7,22,25,3,3,19,2,37,15,3,13,4,81,84,36,2,6,10,0,6,3,5,3,6,2,1,5,16,28,3,3,17,0,2,8,12,15,0,0,21,13,62,10,67,58,8,76,1,5,5,3,31,28,0,4,41,257,78,2,0.06721789553258234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05375412677224933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096764860438116,0.05142150609895475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612413507633415,0.08195081044542446,0.0742368845738945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059448766194228474,0.0,0.07466392874686127,0.0,0.07503740170710757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690512947334513,0.21332286209577528,0.0,0.07047668459193272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215071057999864,0.043349981820761836,0.0,0.057894674926866,0.13644949807997156,0.0,0.0,0.07703753176570409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604111102697606,0.0,0.0,0.07563882016149928,0.1359495506122139,0.09604095599849484,0.0,0.0,0.061435938761927475,0.0,0.0,0.07370095298008746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896306071171956,0.11460443720453092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059440563028953536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898495317976013,0.07144947970063333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756042659719213,0.07195814740121206,0.0,0.0,0.07015801917849479,0.0,0.05974635402509972,0.07436664224703388,0.0,0.11082359245461816,0.27395778156030937,0.0,0.0711740458710784,0.0,0.0,0.1424339624519991,0.0985178053505076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257844119511409,0.07519963142916714,0.07337627332289337,0.0,0.06066677508001321,0.06360319801365015,0.0,0.0,0.06752941076170589,0.0,0.07466392874686127,0.0,0.06773982887908751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144198522215572,0.04941288740663444,0.09968243564509628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.378476648953246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398012757198329,0.0,0.07022839423176769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875232635542205,0.0,0.07247226024096393,0.06431844804960016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04306150509075685,0.2764447669287468,0.0,0.07216686420683148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345436845628541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593708913853248,0.0,0.11120667559023696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174761995023406,0.0,0.0,0.14273151727971425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027073898046513,0.0,0.07352546780673108,0.0,0.06335207104834084,0.0,0.0505394920701874,0.05402719826046065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044656582996695886,0.12921153995284645,0.0,0.05336350074107929,0.11758588631113685,0.0,0.12742941076532066,0.1926887392230368,0.0,0.0912730775361573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05546180344188421,0.03964685634073816,0.0,0.0,0.08185328815219649,0.0,0.0,0.06065369564331771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787085701798387,0.0,0.0,0.04774966441070732,0.0,0.0,0.043286120897710174
mentalhealth,guyfierrisdaughter,2019/03/09,"Drug induced alopecia Hey was just wondering if anyone else in there drug journey experienced hairloss (especially with any bipolar or antipsychotics). Just started depakine chrono at 500mg. What to expect? How did you manage it, or just rid it out and cut your hair? I've only been on for three days but have noticed a significant amount of the hair on my head coming out every time it's even lightly touched, the medicines known to do this but I'm curious of others experiences and aswell if it is full body hairloss or just head. ",6.051428571428572,7.5865204343434325,5.897431457431459,77.97090909090913,66.87878787878788,8.485425685425685,33.334776334776336,8.841846274778883,2.8697867243867234,429,19,75,7,7,134,78,99,0.016,0.928,0.056,0.6072,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,7,1,1,0,3,0,6,8,5,2,0,22,10,10,0,3,11,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,5,3,0,12,7,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,6,3,49,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495465805245083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376643140928736,0.2253241436036837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442708260233426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894332962031675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418239844216546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.510052383207781,0.0,0.1837068809599544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524871358592018,0.0,0.1852839563609342,0.0,0.0,0.2151145219127497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513829309339687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25036939350423804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725173236707672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565367913997094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823149482391208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384833961833593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nan93,2019/03/09,"Feeling isolated I don't know how or whether to put this down here.
I joined a company some months back and everything was going well until I was hit with some personal issues

I am not that kind of a guy who carries workplace pressure to home but with the new developments,I was getting extremely stressed and at times I used to be sad throughout the day
I tried reaching out to my colleagues but they would pass off comments like I am being too sensitive for a guy

Some days I would just go for a small stroll inside the office and  feel better 
The thing is that last few days ,I have heard people saying I am mentally unstable like having multiple personalities 

I just don't know what to do",9.253111111111107,7.144035459259263,8.83092592592593,71.82416666666667,61.074074074074076,12.25925925925926,38.7962962962963,10.864195022040775,4.033962962962963,557,22,105,11,6,179,93,135,0.104,0.784,0.112,0.0414,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,1,7,8,0,2,8,0,16,0,0,2,0,24,26,9,0,2,7,0,2,2,0,2,0,2,1,4,6,6,0,0,4,0,0,4,3,3,1,0,4,4,13,5,15,17,4,18,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,4,11,77,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352410511453985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555178300286435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402846213829034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806982242393813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778606718857445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189016826594976,0.0,0.1999135915785728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482981866936821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17642222506396146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357327954475725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831522088757287,0.19331836480033632,0.14336587322935074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185240626337692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724591841022874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038593271240815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16986623557025715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193321575559896,0.3071436899711503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680822360262316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986702929209846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147022518864305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684701891468065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255718462914692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941114054850074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190406036463094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813746166447534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498805580794387,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DanishBiscuit12,2019/03/09,"Self harm urges, and talking to SOs My mental health was okay for a while, but it’s becoming worse. I’m currently waiting to receive therapy and to be put on venlafaxine (I’ve tried two other SSRIs to no effect) but I’ve been struggling in the meantime. 

My friends have gone off to uni, so I don’t get to see or talk to them as much anymore and I’ve felt so lonely as a result. I speak to my boyfriend as often as I can, but he doesn’t seem to want to talk as often as I do. He’s literally all I have right now, and it’s hard because I feel like I need him more than usual, but I have no idea how to tell him how I’ve been feeling. 

For the past couple of days, my urges to self harm have been quite bad, especially at night. It’s been about 4 months since the last time I self harmed. I have no one to talk to so that I can distract myself for a bit so I’ve tried colouring in and listening to music to distract myself, but it feels like the urge is more physical than mental. My chest burns, my heart beats really fast and it’s almost like my skin tingles. I feel like I’ll only be able to ignore these physical urges for so long before I cave and self harm. 

I need some advice to help me while I wait for therapy. How do I deal with physical urges to self harm? For those of you who have told your SO about your mental health, how did you go about it? 

I’ve tried dealing with this on my own for ages and I think some outside help may be needed. ",3.412741935483872,3.6285081774193593,4.576935483870969,89.85540322580648,72.06451612903227,7.7483870967741915,24.20967741935484,7.554174236665415,0.8210516129032253,1125,27,263,12,20,371,153,310,0.173,0.74,0.086,-0.9863,1,2,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,4,1,3,16,17,0,3,7,1,23,6,3,6,1,44,43,32,0,4,6,0,7,4,1,1,3,2,0,5,12,10,0,3,9,0,0,4,5,11,0,2,9,11,35,6,47,30,8,25,0,1,2,0,29,7,0,8,18,165,47,0,0.092283219781884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017809432500787,0.0,0.0,0.09240831432807774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152015678275376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705263384520769,0.05625499423715803,0.10191956592473624,0.07852622305408001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074937485744337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210962743376176,0.0,0.0595150423590233,0.19027989490507952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664467488890624,0.19778145195371133,0.0886063629320021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129778668505919,0.0,0.048214173486600106,0.0,0.0524466804696791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266763865292595,0.0,0.0,0.19618549454047435,0.0,0.10935605976791203,0.12371099394602128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417652238162893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752231409995056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803396791197833,0.0,0.0,0.08166774552339558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789993408856081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365958559662733,0.0,0.06783878478304319,0.20528051445550494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660155032854623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253349803270439,0.07018554708526974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809477534578118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277012467712828,0.0,0.09815456360408703,0.0,0.0,0.059118993639168525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880936546678258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353777821741901,0.0840111773740839,0.4813576222744872,0.0,0.0,0.07633763303205462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647445815119728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966950257377669,0.08065960163692845,0.0,0.21106780876587328,0.0,0.0,0.059131361003133966,0.0,0.0,0.053811087576811495,0.0,0.0,0.08818057121209262,0.0,0.18796274580677624,0.0,0.09014729645061294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163692891465753,0.0,0.054431034003134315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404448493377048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hikkiko33,2019/03/09,"I'm a complete hermit and social recluse I'm a 22 year-old female from the USA and I've been a hermit for 5 years; since I've graduated from high school to be exact. I have extreme social anxiety and agoraphobia and have not been able to leave my home without having complete emotional breakdowns. Just the idea of even stepping outside my front door makes me sweat and break out in hives. I guess it used to be worse when I was roughly 18-19. I used to literally lock myself in my room and have my mom hand-deliver me food, clean clothing, and baby wipes to clean myself. At this current point in time, I'm able to go to different rooms in my house and bathe everyday, as well as cook some of my own meals. Does anybody have any experience with this issue? Any advice on how to get out of this funk and experience life like a normal person? I've been in and out of therapy for years and have made very little progress of my fear of the outside. It would comfort me knowing that there are others who can relate to what I'm going through.",5.850224358974358,5.728956394230771,6.317115384615388,80.64455128205131,66.78846153846155,9.048717948717947,30.794871794871803,8.59863814320734,2.198421794871795,822,28,165,11,12,267,127,208,0.052000000000000005,0.871,0.077,0.7185,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,7,0,15,5,1,5,1,30,28,15,0,2,3,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,7,1,9,15,3,0,2,2,0,4,2,1,1,0,5,1,16,3,34,20,2,26,0,0,0,0,5,15,0,2,7,101,25,2,0.26197320945846875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279985941594145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815076587589568,0.0,0.100204394091761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746739258683175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685312286437776,0.0,0.0,0.1146272605017055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734230000538612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651541705956826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562600675680645,0.0,0.1473963467641951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838952237536144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843509469828654,0.0,0.14888541211022888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429651266964574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383945395600725,0.13139024453836473,0.0,0.0,0.15114095525934276,0.0,0.14786793299498036,0.0,0.13671598394902165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198681236353363,0.0,0.0,0.1386959014355977,0.0,0.0,0.09251971265437338,0.06399343868173432,0.13128298935446012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394269251840642,0.08743457578441895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340992834954012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283390615451374,0.0,0.0,0.1374484073447433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437245086069588,0.0,0.0,0.12382468008138164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256543702706045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835347301024728,0.0,0.0,0.2670486959787126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979459810367626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763793425839885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262607404531192,0.0,0.10807766692861064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177726885104118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262664126910918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348654071780094,0.0930491258103603,0.0,0.0,0.2530532366432921
mentalhealth,vroutek,2019/03/09,"Gonna stop drinking today Wouldn't say that im an alkoholic, but i do tend to drink too much when i go out so that i ended up 3 times in hospital and its not so easy to just say no to drinks when you go out as i dont want to be left out and i usually cant stop drinking.

Started drinking with 16 which i did nearly every week and sometimes during school because i needed a way to cope with the stress of school. 

Went to a psychologiest because i thought i had a   mental problem like 2 seperate personalities. Where as one was the normal me and the other was really aggresive and often tempted me to deliberatly do dangerous things and often was the one to convince me to drink.

With 19 i was more mentally stable but would still drink way to much. 

And i do tend to become more of an asshole when i drink, which destroyed to many relationships that i had with people which makes me more depressed and i drink even more.

Im considering just to stop drinking alltogether as i have wrecked a relationship with someone today that i actually really liked but i dont think that i will be succesfull in stoping.",8.431409090909092,6.4004502318181835,8.812727272727274,71.06409090909091,62.59090909090909,11.70909090909091,37.45454545454545,10.355215969177356,3.673445454545455,881,34,171,16,10,295,114,220,0.161,0.78,0.059,-0.9714,0,0,10,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,13,8,2,1,10,0,19,10,0,1,0,36,31,19,0,6,6,0,0,2,0,4,0,2,0,1,11,16,10,3,2,10,0,3,6,5,0,2,9,2,23,3,30,16,6,28,0,1,0,0,6,9,0,2,16,127,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.07622277955802519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952286217033289,0.08626487229469249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727486973321982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18308552288208668,0.7651674520984733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918108407804646,0.0,0.0,0.05159002968767582,0.0,0.06580991027955801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887818968212333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874150091061496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486528174047492,0.0,0.0,0.07631988641132051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05213813345362176,0.0791899161027161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743030492348284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483769682178407,0.057916577657489775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765298974475652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585689161814604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054150706286720834,0.06820146438516156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473943362573003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007680841654464,0.0,0.0,0.16771892733494165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423027434253205,0.0,0.15810025690743396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661812095507135,0.0,0.0772514566095292,0.0,0.05528570773246063,0.0,0.06237767244205284,0.1959069981005752,0.08947319991606767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05189191937995161,0.05004887196354011,0.0,0.062009546912556224,0.04554578461686251,0.0,0.14807574306699672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602564790868794,0.0,0.046070508194823806,0.12399802868882998,0.06265405126005233,0.0,0.0,0.07240750532976899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055486147164540124,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,woohoopoopoo,2019/03/09,a crosspost of an excerpt from my autobiography (originally posted in r/schizophrenia) [https://www.reddit.com/r/schizophrenia/comments/az3jnl/an\_excerpt\_from\_my\_autobiography\_i\_am/](https://www.reddit.com/r/schizophrenia/comments/az3jnl/an_excerpt_from_my_autobiography_i_am/),71.56,91.68961071428572,34.34,-138.66999999999996,-58.14285714285714,11.371428571428574,49.85714285714285,10.125756701596842,8.3654,266,6,7,3,2,56,14,14,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ohmymuladhara,2019/03/09,"The sounds that I hear are distorting and replying in my head I want to speak with my doctor about this but I don’t even know how to approach it without sounding like I’m severely disturbed. It sounds really serious but it’s not something like that. Been happening since I was young 

I will hear a sound, usually outside, it could be anything but it’s usually a sound made by cars or road noise. That sound will then distort in my head and then replay over and over all day sometimes several days in a row. It’s in my forethoughts so I have to think louder than that sound. It can become distracting and impede my day to day activities. It’s like having a song stuck in your head and by the end of the day you get that little feeling of “if I sing this one more time!!” It’s not all sounds and I don’t know when it will happen. 

26/F/US",2.7313455149501635,4.284777616279071,3.882823920265782,89.10686046511627,75.16279069767442,7.4724252491694365,24.495016611295682,8.192908349453996,1.3005667774086391,658,21,142,11,14,214,98,172,0.165,0.821,0.015,-0.9756,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,2,7,0,13,4,3,2,2,25,26,16,0,3,8,0,1,3,0,3,1,12,0,0,17,7,0,0,4,2,0,2,5,3,0,1,4,13,15,3,19,17,3,24,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,2,16,94,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073023889413372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860937006620134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743406990453336,0.0,0.0,0.433895733080784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377263992707906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917895490778978,0.0,0.0,0.08887466716917444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803685658829765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030129970723513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379794001005104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4142877423372751,0.0,0.30331457813075424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789974334802775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19721556309209654,0.13486303806197172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732257347890158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118037019053653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862016662252316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30402576957025657,0.0,0.11130824051601594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358976198111823,0.13308186748622775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621969913335484,0.0,0.0,0.07846218490836697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185739329114932,0.0,0.2963945115822888,0.0,0.07936613153583455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970966082079713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UncleCleanFinger,2019/03/09,"Disillusioned This is about the person I used to be versus the person I am now and how empty my life has become.

I realise that I have already lived the happiest days of my life and that my past life is but a foggy and unattainable memory.

Looking back at my past self I am stunned at everything I gave up for my passions. If I could go back in time I would have studied something normal and would have found work in that domain and lived a conventual life instead of the financial struggle I find myself in today. What is the point of all my past adventures if I can't remember them and have not become and wiser because of them? I have the feeling that I should have been somebody by now.

I have become unable to hold a decent normal conversation let alone intellectual or philosophical. I shy away from social interaction as i find it difficult to keep up. Silence is my defence mechanism. I used to be full of humour and wit. I even had some charm but now I am hardly able to conjure up an old, tired joke. When it's my queue to add something to the conversation I'm usually a bit confused at the situation and it's no longer obvious to me what to say and how to say it.I have lost the ability to think properly. 

I find myself staring into space thinking about nothing. My mind used to be full of creativity. In stead of original thought I have vague memories of who I used to be. There are no more exciting ideas, gone is my creativity. Gone is my enthusiasm.

Instead of waking up with a purpose my days have become a blurry and boring mess.

I have no sexual drive at all. I am unable to achieve or maintain an erection. I have to desires nor feel any lust. The idea of sex has become foreign.

I find no sweetness in music or inspiration in art. I have no feelings.

All my passions and past desires have ended. I can't even find the enthusiasm to revive my old hobbies.

I have no more excitement or hope for the future and have no strategy or desire to plan for it. All I feel is boredom.

I used to be rebellious, original and eccentric. Now all I long for is to be normal. Even though my past self has fucked up my current life and hope for the future. I wish I had a normal job and a normal household. I cannot fit into my old skin anymore.

I don't have any interest or curiosities anymore. I have no desire for intellectual pursuit for it's own sake.

My concentration, my memory and cognitive abilities are much worse than I was accustomed to.

I have become a shell of my former self, a facade. I rely on my past reputation to carry me socially. People have begun noticing and approached my girlfriend about my standoffishness a few times which is very worrying. I didn't think that it was  that obvious to other people.

I have left all my physical belongings as well as my income stream behind in the city where I was born when my girlfriend of 13 years broke up with me and moved to a new and almost unknown city to be closer to the people I care about which is my mother and brother. I have started from scratch, only what I could fit into my car. I am now almost middle aged with no hopes and dreams and hardly anything to show for my life.

I can't pinpoint exactly when or how it started but there have been few traumatic events in the past couple of years.

I can't even commit suicide for fear of the impact to my family. I am stuck in this void.

I don't know why I'm posting this, probably just to get it off my chest, not expecting anybody to read it.",3.367756837508619,5.1781728238719085,4.9984448019612335,80.693282004137,74.0363901018923,7.965157435072397,27.19091396613805,8.6894789155246,2.1399671033478898,2738,104,522,54,57,925,288,687,0.141,0.7,0.159,0.9744,3,1,2,1,0,2,56.0,0,0,2,4,29,26,2,3,31,0,72,15,3,10,10,112,106,46,1,21,16,2,8,0,2,3,7,2,0,5,25,30,0,3,19,5,0,7,20,10,1,0,15,13,88,16,92,78,16,86,0,2,2,5,20,35,1,16,43,395,113,4,0.056503463590312074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316011375458443,0.0585205477265401,0.062352977119539015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684858565547856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207250589600977,0.0,0.0,0.04649753612771591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053086864023380434,0.08689535150057848,0.0,0.03444398695846612,0.3744218177029352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168714797185455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057609046888767376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022683589637308,0.06252000774962667,0.0,0.07288011920167314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004529762449523,0.0,0.0,0.14928001921817746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078166971060795,0.0,0.05326643679346495,0.06358210543705259,0.11427939572153112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582157103749668,0.0,0.0,0.06195313138393475,0.0,0.05223654160456121,0.02952072763148102,0.0,0.03211222048120377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123200993122776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836206574835114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757106553647232,0.0,0.0,0.05607096898592508,0.05022287461639943,0.0,0.0,0.03105282589600355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139117851777725,0.05777861974787656,0.2394604040386631,0.0,0.0,0.0997871870833735,0.05000378721712008,0.04744867865491772,0.0,0.061680205178146465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705239089935785,0.0,0.0,0.060054239705600136,0.041536547110725915,0.0,0.0,0.05457139723089095,0.0,0.0,0.2768069874862568,0.05421659722174458,0.0643295678000054,0.17787264039717693,0.0,0.0,0.042973430204016116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775726464798706,0.11751716161190695,0.09867328993374176,0.0,0.0,0.05341403662628765,0.0,0.0541146991195611,0.0,0.060920290428432125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05651875423001746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400740955588137,0.0,0.0,0.08986764425996646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683630641664036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351226047783161,0.0,0.1151963309627325,0.0,0.08699825356258152,0.0,0.0,0.0799868847019079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906968836182035,0.0,0.06180561828456114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861541387642623,0.05551436609372737,0.04485743859257845,0.06589524801665714,0.06494241940178762,0.0535586767070317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440042540330184,0.06223058239552081,0.046621274983423416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080339956087137,0.0,0.05098558733869975,0.0,0.06497619459789995,0.0,0.0,0.04113519444675063,0.057382010019353974,0.05758185662447059,0.08027687874197778,0.0,0.0,0.07277275602667628
mentalhealth,elhassan0,2019/03/09,"Drinks that reduce stress (naturally)  @# **Water**: Our body needs water to function at its best, so dehydration can lead to stress. Relieving stress can be as simple as drinking more water. 

 @## **Tea:** Many people believe that drinking tea helps them relax after facing the stresses of everyday life.

 @### **Milk:** Milk contains calcium and magnesium, which helps relax the body by lowering blood pressure. 

[www. Foods-for-energy.com](http://foods4energy.blogspot.com/2018/11/natural-stress-relieving-drinks.html)

# ",7.326391683433938,9.23646822535212,5.007444668008048,65.1836150234742,120.26760563380282,6.986183769282363,28.73306505700872,7.07126945348624,3.6773374916163655,408,18,44,10,21,116,54,71,0.175,0.627,0.198,0.4767,1,0,4,0,0,0,53.0,1,0,1,2,1,9,0,5,2,0,3,15,4,1,0,4,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,10,1,0,5,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,8,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461075828093027,0.14401399147199753,0.0,0.0,0.3048622832760307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4032982718973372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839642070392444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692931990490404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912926827686672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175400438782012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951377209766812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7859801757186953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Atvali,2019/03/09,"I'm not doing too well. (Rant) I suffer with depression and anxiety and I have done for many years. 

Recently my boyfriend left me because I've gained too much weight as a result of my medication which has lead to me hating myself even more. I feel so ugly and worthless. I do nothing but cry all the time. 

I try my best to give myself reasons to keep going but I'm just finding it too difficult. I say to myself that I love my job and colleagues but it's not enough to stop me from wanting to give up. 

I've been getting tattoos to help me take my mid off things and to focus on the pain of that than resorting to self harm.

I would go to the doctor's to ask for help but even that is difficult after the first time I asked for help from a doctor they just laughed in my face and said ""what do you want me to do about it?"" 

I've got no friends, no family. I've got no one at all and I'm just falling apart. 

My landlord is trying to kick me out too. Everything is just going wrong and there's nothing I can do. 

My medication isn't helping I've got no one I can go to for help. 

It's got to the point where I've been having breakdowns at work. I want to talk to my managers about my mental health because I know they'll want to help but I'm too embarrassed. 

I live in a house where I just get bullied all the time which makes me feel even more worthless but I've got nowhere else to go. 

All I do is cry all morning while getting ready for work, try my best not to have breakdowns at the office then cry all night and all weekend. 

I just feel like my life is collapsing around me. ",1.8259821428571428,3.2755434434523845,3.207857142857143,93.43714285714287,77.36309523809524,6.2285714285714295,23.011904761904763,6.868970318607317,0.4867869047619049,1231,37,284,12,28,402,152,336,0.168,0.657,0.175,0.7699,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,2,7,22,18,1,1,10,0,23,10,1,4,7,50,58,19,0,5,15,0,4,1,1,2,7,2,1,1,11,12,1,2,6,1,0,7,8,11,1,3,9,6,43,7,45,47,13,35,0,4,0,1,19,16,0,0,13,190,54,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531337202406505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600386453873545,0.1596324304626267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040903733934865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919633899449738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28134874111325425,0.0,0.0,0.07353531097346781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477449155707442,0.0,0.08737058175534276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132174733786471,0.0,0.0,0.08821753480748971,0.0,0.16917262974678265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673157825915748,0.0,0.08048608457926364,0.0,0.1295079274596618,0.0609935332952457,0.0,0.0,0.07803327106529481,0.07262185575565812,0.0,0.0,0.0659622611184529,0.0,0.13381828731297582,0.16380329944862976,0.2426093286190321,0.0,0.3414199803872166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429237087967821,0.0,0.09075203747694598,0.0,0.0,0.34335947574095543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851389780258826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472375897304453,0.07588723364137627,0.0,0.0,0.04692111058942695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276264537388204,0.0,0.06030448531649307,0.04171101782115327,0.0,0.07538968685534972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705631263845314,0.0,0.056989985596286374,0.08655914355045675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720172193854341,0.08604019952103815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276211147456755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012077711847786,0.0,0.16384357176016576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570768512363624,0.0,0.0908474267046631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070910930822224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778204527779385,0.08429974659922372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121332770880743,0.06789542582782856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906710473939862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137921428081563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419307596971634,0.06862300945858749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672085941967429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14935250481850054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738966705125801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20143088557415312,0.0,0.0,0.10396650479644502,0.0767644122663012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431132768512188,0.0,0.0,0.060649557593261134,0.09334663365277948,0.0,0.05498015776181766
mentalhealth,MelodyPondWilliams,2019/03/09,"Imposter syndrome? My head is messed up So backstory: I have generalised anxiety disorder, probably depression, on a cocktail of meds etc.

I’ve been working at this place for about 9 months. It’s a really great place to work and theoretically I’m enjoying it. I’m studying to be an accountant (very long process) and my job is as an assistant to the finance director. Compared to when I started I have a lot more responsibility which I think is a good sign, and I passed probation although I still haven’t had my probation meeting (the FD is very busy and I think she keeps forgetting). The company is in an industry that I’m interested in and everyone’s really nice. Basically it’s probably my dream job.

But I can’t let go of my “I’m rubbish and everyone hates me” mentality. Example: we recently had flex time introduced. I asked my boss if I could start coming in earlier (meaning I would leave earlier). This wouldn’t affect her as she always comes in later/leaves earlier than me though she works from home quite a bit. She said that should be fine, but just so I know if we’re very busy I might have to work later sometimes, but she would try to avoid this as much as possible?

Great, right? Well, in my head this has turned into “I’m lazy and I should be working late all the time”. Every time I leave “early” I feel guilty even though I’ve worked the required amount of hours or more. 

If I get a comment like “no I wanted the (excel) sheet more like this, can you change it?” I feel like that means I’m awful at my job and I’m going to be fired. Once the FD asked to speak to the lady who does HR but also legal and office management (we’re a small company) and I was CONVINCED she wanted to discuss how to discipline/fire me.

Thursday night I started having an anxiety attack going to work because I couldn’t deal with “all the hostility”. There is literally no hostility. None. Only from me, towards myself. 

How do I get out of this because when my brain is working properly, I actually really love this job? And how would I cope in a company where people actually did treat you harshly???",2.6498780487804865,4.975447097560977,4.524573170731706,80.88003048780489,78.02439024390246,8.39268292682927,26.59146341463415,9.120678840339163,2.4986292682926825,1650,67,318,44,40,560,210,410,0.124,0.762,0.113,-0.5615,4,1,0,0,0,0,51.0,1,2,0,11,17,22,4,1,21,1,35,4,3,5,2,57,68,34,0,13,9,0,3,3,0,7,0,2,1,0,16,17,1,3,7,2,2,6,7,7,1,0,6,5,49,15,39,48,11,42,0,1,0,1,20,18,0,6,21,207,65,19,0.0,0.0,0.14709536440634788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027125934376688,0.06271169021013218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531166502130515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091663603940754,0.08574126487746449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188649963034967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822816491329545,0.0,0.0,0.08413491150053054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972868514079473,0.1298446332335133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060174713029279014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770045011092447,0.06491380618876726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637753666666324,0.0,0.06595449423694158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405454110823772,0.04977943772613316,0.0,0.06350026061927731,0.14403350553953076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762160146078998,0.053842464887709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875268132776381,0.0,0.12849904131019504,0.06321457499789596,0.0,0.1661855851527802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744096754884109,0.1546973322264595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559961817343604,0.0,0.0742216788151945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991619452888095,0.06698998224914544,0.0,0.0,0.0414199360639508,0.0,0.08501767723781639,0.2394094910377477,0.0,0.0770682431233536,0.0,0.11046207152461056,0.0,0.0,0.06669775164504653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407464364508103,0.06802199484868401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419432339973014,0.08371615880196545,0.0,0.07595258335368603,0.07995287040362338,0.0,0.0,0.060157516470115815,0.0,0.05540368955164771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072717213963829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026379036952498,0.0,0.05732028181461184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052250245401000206,0.0,0.15748572309519274,0.0,0.0,0.0849653866251361,0.0,0.0,0.16251754626091655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016247619101807,0.0,0.0,0.14484680322615578,0.0,0.07441618645603641,0.0,0.0,0.06436332301718006,0.07169162875691791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454025703857628,0.0,0.16003623928155994,0.0,0.06018847982117126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658473624671787,0.148096118654945,0.0,0.1318419603215268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05116949765171755,0.08197805734158993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655792250602768,0.08890725621130602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776431776901358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4389467495599165,0.0,0.0,0.16061645384748288,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Noxious_1000,2019/03/09,"Do I need therapy for my anger I am 17M. I not an angry person, I love my life, I have good friends, I go to a good school, I live in a shit town but in a good country, I live in a middle class family and I am happy most of the time. However, recently my relationship with my parents has begun to deteriorate, we argue on a daily basis and we rarely talk civilly to one another. We have at least one serious argument every week and it is getting me down. I don't want to spend my life arguing with my parents, it is upsetting my younger brother and I really don't want to be in this state when I leave home at 18 for university. We argue about the most trivial things but it is always escalated to the point of full on yelling, often to the point where I have recently started to leave the house for a walk to prevent myself from doing something irrational.

This happens every other night with something or another, often to do with playing video games so I gave them up this week to see if that would help and after 8 days without playing them nothing has changed. At this point my parents just seem disappointed in me, I do everything I can to impress them, I can play two instruments extremely well, even though I don't enjoy one of them any more (I haven't told them about this in fear of the backlash.) I go to cadets where I have represented the corps in clay target shooting, another passion, which my mum is not keen to support as it involves guns. I have been forced respect this and have given up arguing about continuing it outside of cadets. I was berated through my GCSE's where I was told I would fail if I didn't work over and over even though I was confident in my abilities. I got straight A's and they pretended they were confident in me the whole time. 

By far the most upsetting thing for me is that there is no conversation between us at all. I keep my social and my home life poles apart, I don't talk about relationships, friendships, jokes, music, even what we did at school. they've made it very clear that they are my parents and not my friends and then expect me to share stuff with them. Something that sticks in my head is the time that my mum told me that she would disown me if she ever caught me doing drugs. Now whilst I am a good kid, I'm not a straight edge. The first time they caught me drinking (legal age is 18 here but most kids start at 15 or sometimes younger) they were livid and wouldn't talk to me for a week so it gives me all the more reason to separate my social life where we drink all the time and smoke weed etc... The funny thing is it hasn't discouraged me at all from trying stuff out and I still think it would have been far more effective if they sat me down and talked to me about the dangers like my friends parents had.

Now on to my anger. The constant arguing has led to me having a very short temper and whilst I can control my self up to a point the best way I could is like a water balloon being filled slowly until it bursts. This is a very short outburst of anger where I lash out at something (never people.) I have broken a desk, my dads rear view mirror in his car, a couple of plates and a balustrade from the banister. I always regret this afterwards and it upsets me because I am not a violent person but I feel like I am pushed to this point. My parents make no effort to remove me from the situation, de-escalate things or try control their own yelling and anger. So, I have found a couple of ways to reduce my anger eg. playing the drums, going for a walk etc.. However there are some situations that I cant detach myself from and I end up breaking something. My parents suggested therapy at one point but I feel that unless their going to try to help me there is not point in wasting my time.

I don't hate my parents and they can be very supportive and loving but I feel like our relationship is slipping away. I need them to realise that in less than a year I will be an adult and that they need to start respecting me and my opinion like they would do a friend and start making that transition otherwise I can see our relationship completely falling apart as I move away from home.

Do I need therapy for my anger or do you guys thing that I'm being unreasonable.

Cheers

M",5.8069755534722685,5.6785416160188475,6.233542462921567,81.23161029782939,66.87985865724383,9.521896108266633,30.989663710006965,9.18150861145379,2.4131502175428468,3348,116,684,55,49,1084,338,849,0.134,0.701,0.165,0.9828,10,0,9,3,2,1,68.0,9,1,18,8,32,58,16,4,44,0,77,13,2,8,7,108,122,50,0,19,23,12,3,5,4,7,5,2,3,7,42,38,3,5,8,11,1,15,20,25,1,6,21,8,132,33,106,88,20,115,0,4,3,3,83,60,1,17,41,502,174,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772899740444805,0.0,0.0,0.03176279732369917,0.14693110124631473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776673184772922,0.0,0.0,0.028472544223171456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04901678724279148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049410490608716016,0.0,0.04897207258450848,0.050474366362749636,0.1047731812684324,0.03729225043364029,0.1033622319989138,0.0,0.030122564200565118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151141212933728,0.054166034473932534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136910606467938,0.0,0.10418273189164792,0.09254986844185713,0.0422497350420627,0.07870640348424407,0.0,0.04197781570133774,0.0,0.044031806742974036,0.05255908124230256,0.07085035957950063,0.06673589564373818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03972949528685511,0.0,0.05121251715778689,0.14434482924993,0.0,0.02440281445934487,0.04480622496973724,0.10618011426584556,0.15670461183458462,0.037356367061923364,0.0,0.0,0.046247907620611504,0.04130341238343623,0.04972115201020752,0.0,0.04611412524143736,0.04793551447431226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261429396243655,0.0,0.14055471567797553,0.0,0.0,0.053894346236569635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04151589710722352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891329482120864,0.0,0.0,0.13196395163565713,0.1140949696680207,0.0,0.08248740485714555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431093857177661,0.04419589893829768,0.06235542566589376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964283019467227,0.0,0.13853249488330896,0.036023811913578056,0.0,0.0,0.04383195669934016,0.0,0.044817240927638016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266012244644205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149064598321927,0.0,0.0,0.03238119699491001,0.08156662045749988,0.0,0.0,0.3090767236875825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029922110625846824,0.048023233747547,0.09223632060479246,0.2005861048995976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454125190461142,0.07443988469867154,0.04252088184277713,0.04872625576883675,0.0,0.04794472193315424,0.0,0.10500269015600487,0.0,0.0952251152469244,0.0,0.17978911855400356,0.0461950509264242,0.0,0.13223963385510526,0.0,0.03730078216773704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693814770672364,0.0,0.10600655422628742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016732924191892,0.0,0.0,0.16024277312621302,0.0,0.15515240512183867,0.029928370164616757,0.09178003960638896,0.0,0.16341360529896168,0.0,0.0,0.13389345679476158,0.0,0.09513426611920564,0.0,0.045626578041564,0.0,0.05618354075679533,0.0,0.0,0.1541547806654116,0.05509875323188677,0.07414870219223971,0.11239815593384764,0.0,0.0419957783176671,0.0,0.0,0.052147412773594574,0.0,0.04502449883254022,0.0,0.03400371868756573,0.0,0.0,0.1658988390945642,0.0,0.0,0.030078189216453593
mentalhealth,wiserchip4,2019/03/09,I'm too afraid to tell people I'm too afraid to tell people that I'm not okay,3.4394736842105265,1.8288529473684207,4.862105263157896,94.04473684210528,72.15789473684211,7.6,19.0,3.1291,-0.6239894736842109,62,0,17,0,1,21,10,19,0.1,0.9,0.0,-0.1695,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6214314216632251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7834685623365005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,saaraa17,2019/03/09,"Faking it I’m gonna try to clean my apartment today. I’ve been trying for two/three weeks now. It’s an awful mess. Haven’t done the dishes in about a month. I’ve also been eating a lot of junk food lately, so there are candy papers etc. everywhere. I also just drank a cider and it’s 1 pm. 

I’ve been trying to book an appointment to see a therapist (not sure the name in English), but there are no appoinments available, since I belong to a minority group with a different mother tongue. I would like to speak in my own language when it comes to this. 

I’m doing my internship right now, plus writing my baccalaureate, plus looking for summerjob, plus doing other studies. While I’m at my internship I’m always smiling, full of energy, kind to my clients, etc. And when I was with my friends yesterday I was all laugh and jokes. And then I come home to the real life, aka mess, I’m living right now. No energy or lust for life what so ever. I just go to bed and lay there. It’s also funny that I even painted my nails three days ago and have been looking really put together. Well, that is just a big fat lie. 

I don’t really have any questions and I’m not sure if there is any point in this post. I just had to write a little. Thank you.",1.4571764705882302,3.503566639215688,3.3809411764705892,88.99023529411768,80.6470588235294,6.5898039215686275,20.003921568627447,7.699297019823105,0.7001262745098038,963,25,204,16,25,324,145,255,0.056,0.7709999999999999,0.173,0.9853,2,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,0,22,12,0,0,13,1,19,8,1,0,4,34,34,22,0,2,9,1,0,1,1,2,3,1,3,0,11,14,5,0,1,2,0,4,6,3,1,1,9,4,19,9,26,23,6,32,0,0,3,1,9,12,0,4,16,132,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136983301766544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077181131879335,0.1067259541634459,0.0,0.0,0.17444788763365426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22097622195184294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271969312628745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400861951045834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312586426182831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124613144770733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860966136134493,0.08471718703864607,0.11602216511437675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550973831958347,0.0,0.09909647714931727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289540832002032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865928755733885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356725718633808,0.0,0.0,0.14468742101452453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119336571667108,0.06266332982379162,0.1285542616812056,0.1132594949609055,0.0,0.2154189746436371,0.0,0.0,0.10904549786156424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237913097004994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125097397649034,0.0,0.12284149240767725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894078438668888,0.14368507653078652,0.0,0.0,0.14599255517206108,0.16433845353805832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21907357429281266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220983143451662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610133720994183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417746746792715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808829285293125,0.0,0.14892443341146272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157930996781333,0.0,0.0,0.2612485858367801,0.0,0.1252953270800888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288567406261356,0.0,0.11532477354540245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111509211856696,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Renee_Away_,2019/03/09,"Physically feeling guilty when logically it doesn't make sense- and I won't admit anything to doctors. What's my deal? I feel guilty, but over stupid things. My rational mind knows it's ridiculous, but the other part of me- the chemical part that causes emotion (whatever it's called) I don't like it at all.
I have chronic pain after getting  multiple work injuries (at 1 time)  6 years ago (I worked in special education for 15+ years) memory issues and insomnia. I'm a single mom with a child with health disability, and the guilt that goes with that isn't what I'm talking about. I think it's a chemical issue, because this is new, but I've tried SO MANY antidepressants, that's it's ridiculous. 
And going to a doctor, Psychologist and psychiatrist- I ALWAYS down play how I'm feeling. Always. Like I can't admit to anyone where I'm at because I don't like people feeling sorry for me. Stupid and irrational. What's my problem?",3.0380000000000003,5.543852133333335,4.567777777777781,80.125,77.66666666666666,7.333333333333335,26.66666666666667,8.344100000000001,2.136833333333334,744,30,134,15,18,248,107,180,0.237,0.684,0.08,-0.9816,0,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,5,12,4,1,7,0,8,6,0,3,1,27,23,12,0,1,3,1,4,3,0,1,6,0,0,1,16,9,0,0,9,1,0,1,6,7,0,0,0,4,14,5,17,22,4,15,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,10,79,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129582049900223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24327125818944026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221426901190378,0.0,0.1202958197361596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17822310561872826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926877321180168,0.0,0.0,0.1501697924340287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070783610705835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992481595823073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443574321000762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956572483650408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763743721792631,0.0,0.0830789372521632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538526218199375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051532985235476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033813095006871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142522951618857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757801697704664,0.1482062065907149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760274850467012,0.17120728794805365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411840607211136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554858722207265,0.0,0.0,0.31660300897820376,0.0,0.1013446049438056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987700057719912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363944643410167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117496032187143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711722025362836,0.09366790398211136,0.0,0.0,0.08524024644131943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924838601020304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128453396922504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18827359618890424
mentalhealth,asseatingvolcano,2019/03/09,"My boyfriend wanted to take a break, i let him  My boyfriend left after he got home from his therapist who told him to take a break. Since that happened and he moved out, I’ve been having the hugest migraine of my life, crying for no apparent reason, and now i’m hearing voices and seeing things. 

Note: I have MDD, ADHD, and generalized anxiety disorder. ",4.8832835820895495,6.475942701492535,5.310626865671644,80.85489552238808,69.74626865671641,8.345074626865673,28.32537313432836,8.841846274778883,2.2562262686567163,279,10,51,5,5,89,52,67,0.145,0.855,0.0,-0.8271,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,1,0,8,13,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,8,0,7,9,0,7,0,0,1,0,8,2,0,0,2,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701502182026486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196139322343085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24691789753593535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576253069568118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978264996047005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19877834796930965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253351217501914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254796280300267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442316671646712,0.2298598751188855,0.1587736629005341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389129421804193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23111841171528924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17912608728379334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859460789950682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380236064058271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609949618696121,0.14933845410773947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21479355344367154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258516077227714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loner1350,2019/03/09,Has it been long enough Why do i dwell on a past relationship that ended badly. All i do is think about ( mostly bad things) about my ex. There is not a day that goes by that i dont have ill thoughts about her. How can i move on i already sink my life into nothing but work to try to make it go away but it still does not help. If any body has any ideas i will gladly listen. Thank you in advance.,-0.002919896640825925,1.8874423255814,1.5831782945736457,100.73145994832045,85.04651162790698,4.28733850129199,15.369509043927648,5.033348758259628,-1.188008785529716,304,5,76,1,9,98,64,86,0.083,0.81,0.107,0.2684,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,2,6,5,0,1,2,0,11,3,1,2,1,13,17,4,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,1,10,2,11,14,3,13,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,5,52,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205222606006003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717885274381633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775102334230104,0.0,0.3337068007392572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22197100016642568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288766742314693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487645468632002,0.0,0.2342044614380972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769939892914151,0.20648238333186286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357051067255128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339448048230735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22558874538898835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411489663695936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684718044128964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339103249313067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123923717890823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19174652332141492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19076457335346905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145473898269573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958803241326516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839806927876668,0.0,0.0,0.1327611144787005,0.12804583256267998,0.0,0.15864621418514782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567445920008758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18031948909871934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548184366966074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sean_d2,2019/03/09,"Narcissistic brother. How do I help My brother had always been the best friend I've had. When I was 6 and was reading 4 years ahead of my class, my best friend called me a nerd, so I stopped trying so hard. But we always had so much fun goofing around, making funny voices and playing sports. When I was 8 and doing musicals, he would call me gay, so I didn't enjoy them as much. And then we would play video games. As we got older, the manipulation kept happening (e.g. getting into arguments that immediately got personal, making fun of my friends, criticizing my choices) and essentially all of my parents' attention went to him. He got into the drug scene and got himself into trouble with school and, later, employment. I always felt horrible that he was bullied when he was younger and later played the same bully. He was treated much differently by our parents, but he was still my best friend. Now he's older and is still living with the family at home, still abusing substances.  


I always told myself ""That's just big brother stuff"" and ""he was raised differently than me and my sister"", but I think now I'm realizing he has been a narcissist his whole life. I'm left wondering how much of my self esteem issues had/has to do with my best friend also being a narcissist. I'm also very conflicted as to how much of this was his choice.   


Would you blame a narcissistic 8 year old for being that way?  


I want nothing more than for him to get help and change his ways, but I've heard how hard it is for narcissists to change themselves. I would love to help him get off the booze and weed but I also need to look out for myself and recognize when to intervene (e.g. when he's making my parents' life harder at home) and when to know that I can't change his mind.  


Thanks in advance",6.814742926680862,6.467728329479767,7.097654396105874,76.61085336172803,64.83815028901735,10.058777000304227,31.505324003650745,9.549672527348893,2.684597687861272,1406,46,270,24,19,457,169,346,0.08,0.7509999999999999,0.16899999999999998,0.9893,6,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,4,1,1,6,24,20,0,0,10,0,28,6,0,8,1,58,55,41,0,6,6,7,3,0,5,4,3,2,2,2,8,26,1,3,6,7,0,2,2,2,0,0,24,6,42,18,37,25,13,36,0,0,1,2,47,11,0,1,21,182,50,4,0.0,0.09141640208782426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18510317254021727,0.25679752814512324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868456594450485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238788668807389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756835507545192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448601990850457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612217127041281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947564118158444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273514073856073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408117793620245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980499281934544,0.0,0.12093136362618055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24683253463487634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822816811103068,0.0,0.13823196993906264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15514669350912358,0.0,0.1547860933950467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053007715481472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042402529582248015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838294483055128,0.0,0.1089941261173404,0.0,0.0,0.06812953459376808,0.0,0.06479101151829993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963566154137922,0.0,0.15450526552644847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790484836870648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835900786462182,0.05720966988147287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403258161569501,0.0,0.08096149790653495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25701545639546075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736902318335694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771761692870133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808527257377286,0.0,0.0,0.08048979438198879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18484894270628566,0.0645052771999374,0.0,0.0,0.08832434777401756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103422486405969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04943799441857995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737251859834509,0.0,0.05238337728324266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06366119458072089,0.04550818904881742,0.12248455578977015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152372678777186,0.0,0.08614112587702175,0.0,0.0,0.08367162074792311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219235617204509,0.0,0.0,0.09937095420999956
mentalhealth,veefroggy,2019/03/09,"Question? I (21,F) have had bad anxiety all my life. About 5 months ago my psychiatrist prescribed me 0.25 mg of xanax to take as needed (if i feel a panic attack coming on, or if i feel anxious). I used to take about 3 a week, sometimes less. Right now i’m in a somewhat good place, I still find I need them with certain things, especially lately with family issues going on. 

As of lately i’ve been noticing that when I take one, it doesn’t help my anxiety at all. I plan on bringing this up with my doctor, but I’m not sure how to go about it. 

My question is, what is the proper way that I ask my doc to up my dosage without sounding weird? I don’t want her to think i’m becoming addicted or anything of the sort, because I’m really careful with the meds I’m taking and it’s not like that at all. I just like to have the xanax handy because i do still get frequent panic attacks. So how should I bring this up with my doc? Will she say yes? What should I say to her? Thanks so much. ",1.635507246376811,3.242652864734304,3.3742270531401,91.35380434782611,78.32367149758454,6.1458937198067645,22.61111111111111,6.937597516519254,0.5512299516908215,761,23,170,8,18,254,120,207,0.128,0.784,0.08800000000000001,-0.8407,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,1,12,13,2,2,7,1,12,5,0,3,5,37,37,13,0,7,9,0,2,2,0,3,5,3,0,0,11,7,0,0,6,0,0,5,5,6,0,1,2,5,27,7,30,32,6,27,0,0,0,0,10,11,0,8,12,111,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286890350669157,0.0,0.0,0.10464185249285657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061179805041264,0.1333599037495286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714291010237222,0.0,0.11035833627755952,0.2685918031584118,0.0,0.0,0.09856460573766616,0.14392113678811047,0.13037402267788276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035713994882125,0.0,0.0,0.10168733870579474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208264639966801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128453487704064,0.0,0.11937657335904366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789313855717958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06167486773029681,0.0,0.13417805790073686,0.09901251578713367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912464983481399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321076289654655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663251033476034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338033381206697,0.11534394403056605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311239930869374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422426789091516,0.0,0.08677838436121035,0.17506122731274246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439768947231226,0.0,0.0,0.07999193890468129,0.0,0.0,0.2770062591187062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333435481239842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644800950092861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562415467014763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008117912137041,0.0,0.187751980308784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675184681783732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885455311119517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112582295843228,0.0,0.3550276616863489,0.0,0.0,0.10868213897821104,0.0,0.0,0.07842541342818309,0.07563997482180808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195500789125478,0.0,0.0,0.06962738505720932,0.09370049114003562,0.09469046301876764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379343209555227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shadowdevil965,2019/03/09,"Am I going insane? Soooo I feel like I’m going insane... lol might sound weird so let me explain. You ever think about what someone is gonna say or do then it happens well this has being happening all my life and every time in happens it feels weird... I feel like something is with me everything I do has a reaction even if it’s small like if so a little good soon enough someone will do something for me in good a way and a take a mental note each time... but it’s getting to the point where I feel like literally everything I do has a reaction I can predict, I feel like I’m going insane my brain is being controlled by something that makes all my actions have a reason I feel like I’m mentally insane I have thoughts and visions about things and they happen I’m getting scared for my mental state sometimes I feel special like I was put here for a reason and someone is guiding me to do decisions which will effect my future I realise it every time and it’s driving me fucking insane... it’s not like I’m stupid I do good in school but something is in my head and idk what to do. Someone will read this post and understand exactly what I’m going though and they will realise they are not the only ones having this thoughts... which might have a positive or negative effect on them they might view things differently... honestly Idk what is wrong with me. Can someone explain.


Well I just tried to post this on a different subreddit and it got deleted and the first thing I viewed was the title I put which was “I’m I going insane” and maybe it was deleted so I could view the title and change it... see this is what I think about and go though and it’s driving me crazy... ",1.5866950036089518,3.999058940652824,2.9835271473253684,89.89472130884596,82.73887240356083,5.542353035528111,23.0546956452001,6.885778809224403,0.8234839842810171,1321,47,263,16,37,429,140,337,0.086,0.76,0.154,0.9669,2,0,4,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,5,4,16,21,2,1,15,1,40,4,2,6,4,56,79,27,0,3,9,0,7,8,0,8,1,2,0,0,28,18,0,1,19,1,0,11,3,6,2,2,7,13,39,15,19,60,4,33,0,0,4,1,9,10,1,7,16,185,67,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218793367271192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788367241728003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257477336793986,0.05878220152633869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384132381318494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607253315968095,0.0,0.04862748475196919,0.06659647542848791,0.12406158430306725,0.0,0.13233572088026274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605830118064074,0.2629824441509304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262392779559779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806353974697504,0.07693025444584506,0.0,0.25105085382166914,0.1852551528639684,0.05888326586332825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604193077346146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555872974498559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528479606298367,0.052002302817998614,0.2877489418173431,0.07378987214072386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049144113792161416,0.0,0.07396448446208252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225848617991774,0.2343080093321722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049889042652382254,0.05599382510613049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959780056806555,0.0,0.1410215095134946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802347069929025,0.0,0.0,0.07364320754818893,0.0,0.0,0.1513939958715019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585481904923922,0.07370975101172228,0.07451069400998253,0.058668225342704085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119038482607221,0.22671520385481006,0.07281531045997207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535554706878488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673611550577256,0.09434965527231304,0.14466900553074147,0.11689732745733145,0.12879098696285704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998537710518459,0.0,0.0,0.07664443515221997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058438735990694116,0.0,0.0,0.1323923483093256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049550352310195,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,meatthehevy,2019/03/09,"Why is it so hard for me to like myself? Right now, I'm going through an episode of renewed motivation to do things after a few weeks of extreme emotional confusion. I'm trying to get back into the habit of doing art and music. However, I'm finding myself constantly fighting with thoughts of being judged even though no one is watching or caring. Thoughts of me being obnoxious, pretentious   
 or burdensome to other people. I'm being extremely impatient with myself too. It's a fight against myself to convince myself that I'm good enough and capable enough to improve myself. I'm sure many people experience these feelings, but the phenomenon still confuses me. Like, why is it that my mind's sole mission is to convince me that I'm the worst person in the world? Why does my mind work so hard to keep me down? Or am I just overthinking things and I'm really just being lazy?",5.461606425702815,6.9965920481927775,6.2965662650602425,74.55802208835345,68.27710843373494,9.388755020080325,31.90562248995984,9.725611199111238,3.3028128514056228,704,30,119,16,12,232,98,166,0.162,0.7190000000000001,0.119,-0.8716,1,0,0,0,3,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,10,12,2,2,7,0,11,0,0,1,1,23,26,10,0,0,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,1,5,1,0,1,1,5,0,1,2,4,14,7,22,20,4,12,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,5,8,87,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730490520464425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553936240586524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16485709390934164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350137008605395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160314951482913,0.0,0.3152589194798429,0.0,0.10076073231155062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492274611159025,0.0,0.0,0.07713608064448069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943194384884305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797033695492894,0.0,0.0867001724351887,0.1279553799822764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733175278905275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559734656098946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490607330775789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466620171583392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080728803359718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337479920288607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21152400390810824,0.13320460441236487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773024520920832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028061098029034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183012867412113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378070216116354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027007090102501,0.0,0.1498839083947374,0.2422222819037925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357441327013027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236992545783346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41296981159201374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106140896659053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,plannerspartan,2019/03/09,"Question? So I live in a big city and have noticed that folks have a lower tendancy to sit next to me on public transit lately, and make eye contact, etc. For what it is worth I make a little north of six figures, but I get the feeling that people think I'm disadvantaged. I was at a bar tonight and as soon as my friends left I got kicked out for being ""drunk"" but I only had two beers. This type of thing isn't uncommon. Is there something easily common that signifies mental illness that folks with mental health problems don't realize? I feel light like a victim of gaslighting, without any conspiracy to do so. ",4.312166666666666,5.793546550000002,5.146666666666668,81.91166666666669,71.0,7.666666666666668,29.16666666666667,8.167268648758528,2.0569166666666674,486,19,91,7,9,158,88,120,0.118,0.742,0.14,0.4261,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,6,0,10,6,1,2,0,17,18,9,0,1,3,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,8,5,3,0,6,3,1,0,3,2,0,2,3,4,9,2,16,14,1,14,0,0,1,0,4,8,0,1,6,61,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369031153931442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245227399334453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20358481767853087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553775548967788,0.0,0.1051803243208838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610123623063667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213991576030594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270954261903774,0.0,0.2187325511602621,0.0,0.0,0.09835378565088668,0.2017734827283432,0.17776744583533455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26876260136436503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4057623037316587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141039329645429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292018302899602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531113793150267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956852425761135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19263409787788588,0.0,0.0,0.2255221875070975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15498440010172165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374670628314286,0.1289964190628183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19665839299229154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19406332812477448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,existentialanomoly,2019/03/09,"What is the worst thing you've heard a mental health professional, speaker or advocate say regarding mental health? Many people mean well but often cross a line, unintentionally (or perhaps intentionally) when they talk about mental health. Mental health practitioners and the average lay man alike can often say something regarding mental health that comes off to those that are actually suffering as false, inaccurate, misleading, demeaning, escalating, triggering, disheartening, insensitive, biased, rude or simply unhelpful or stupid.

I want to know what kinds of things you've heard that made you feel that way.

Common example: telling a clinically depressed individual to try to have fun.

Common example 2: telling people they can treat their mental health if they just exercised and fixed their diet. 

But I also want to hear about the less common things you've heard. ",11.29994680851064,12.378451858156033,9.946161347517736,55.14562500000002,55.241134751773046,13.57482269503546,38.19237588652482,12.815532586354998,5.646297163120567,716,29,97,23,8,223,91,141,0.196,0.728,0.076,-0.9704,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,5,0,8,10,2,0,6,0,5,9,0,3,0,21,16,12,0,3,8,0,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,1,10,3,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,6,1,0,4,8,8,4,10,12,2,8,0,3,0,0,16,1,0,7,4,56,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0964614293221462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904874292686573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514883498921484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513767314123527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049980539740233434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6304250734508585,0.11140892661892757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029350238832488,0.05432429840716562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935324067379912,0.0,0.10021639907993336,0.0,0.10767449528842654,0.0,0.0,0.5976934580290415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705757143753666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721585984725878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609805148271838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945031131181468,0.17279509002634902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970107391524282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711133149710423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660627166416318,0.0784609741983209,0.0,0.0,0.08887626031479579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,immapizza,2019/03/09,"How could growing up as the youngest siblings with older siblings that were primarily absent from your life? I'm the youngest of eight children, four of my older siblings are half siblings from my mom's first marriage and the other three are from my father. All of my half siblings are very much older than me, the youngest now being in his thirties whereas I am eighteen. The youngest of my older siblings only has a four year age gap that has been a big part of our bond. Seeing as most of my siblings are significantly older they weren't very involved in my childhood, especially the four oldest and most were completely absent (except for my half sister who I've never met) through my teenage years. I really only had my youngest brother around and we have always been close because of the small age gap, however, all of my other siblings were come-and-go. I never had the guidance or protection i should have gotten from them and lack a bond with all but two of my brothers. The ones that were willingly absent never attempted to bond or communicate with me (one of my half brothers in a different state would routinely ignore or hang up when I'd call on my birthday) and it still hurts me a lot. I grew up feeling pretty much alone and with all of the drifting in and out of my life i struggle with abandonment issues and have trouble trying to have any relationship with my siblings because i never know when they'll abandon me again. I guess i mostly am curious to know ho much and what kind of damage that this could do to someone other than what ive already acknowledge.",9.988384870943008,7.690944930232557,9.160265780730901,70.62753386148736,59.830564784053145,11.387784308714542,40.76181957577306,9.466822959209583,3.886024073600818,1268,53,223,16,13,401,152,301,0.102,0.8640000000000001,0.034,-0.9716,2,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,1,3,2,7,8,0,1,15,0,30,3,0,1,8,50,38,18,0,5,5,6,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,12,19,0,4,4,0,0,4,5,7,0,13,11,2,37,1,44,20,13,39,0,4,1,1,20,13,0,8,21,185,49,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395635579432923,0.14870338151693274,0.0,0.11212536259886263,0.0,0.0,0.0916367195254766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995881606961413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428846128163546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759796735237306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607785194467432,0.1412860471410534,0.0,0.0,0.21517874881325708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078829439155813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813520928168397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462090631966683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658328429799936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484457166939612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425596585277325,0.0,0.0,0.14064721208679531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032460295851015,0.14811354420301795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903601798713037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456225510784995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782118597663974,0.0,0.0,0.2971770698323309,0.0,0.41571954949950496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826243573511064,0.20497158858888287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592446080879842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709233331813026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632627759725517,0.0,0.0,0.14467438469027413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738076319479756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141758526834177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761398874133342,0.0,0.0,0.14087318377299374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148850013411858,0.0,0.13163418487018616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223708172706766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572472621211968,0.0,0.0,0.1735531389740563
mentalhealth,Throwaway1503638,2019/03/09,"Length of erect penis is decreasing very fast. HELP! The length and size of my erect penis is rappidly decreasing starting a few days ago. I woke up this morning and its almost 10 cm shorter than its ussual length (20cm). 

Im 19 years old and weigh about 70 kg. The only changes lately is that I've been excercising more often. Also Im using USN protein shake and creatine powder. 

Does erection size naturally fluctuate? Should I go see a doctor? This has never happened before.",2.547575757575757,5.409010444444448,4.120909090909096,80.09045454545456,83.44444444444444,6.82828282828283,23.73737373737373,8.00094639256281,1.9052222222222224,380,14,64,8,11,126,68,90,0.02,0.916,0.064,0.5945,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,6,2,0,1,1,9,12,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,5,9,2,11,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,8,32,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20205860612071594,0.0,0.2282529934825398,0.0,0.0,0.1822867375807697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396355846657112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411345318508411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147005025191328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23331034682638754,0.1994753339177591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295458303992583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015701298696524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15278606097406072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4924372792417019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571307649635023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580446812505604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391888878051736,0.0,0.0,0.17336168653121894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181641859114412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133993919578926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687043272613955,0.0,0.18807767546111934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467884650866256
mentalhealth,Aboo176,2019/03/09,"“best”friend treats me like shit but tells me she will kill herself if i leave I would regularity give her my full attention and make sure that she is safe, but lately i’ve been getting the feeling that she is playing into her depression. She often uses it to get people to stay, or guilt them into giving her things, but never ever listens to others. She has cut herself in the past, but I was confused because the cuts were made by one strike from a leg razor, and she posted pics of it on snap after. So do I need to be worried about her? Is this an actual suicide threat, or is it all just fake? please help i’m v worried.",4.7242857142857115,5.140060277777781,5.630277777777781,82.74875,69.23809523809524,7.56984126984127,27.654761904761905,7.1686216300943375,1.399352380952381,489,15,97,4,8,161,93,126,0.293,0.575,0.132,-0.9832,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,0,5,14,5,2,5,0,12,2,2,3,4,26,23,10,2,3,8,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,9,0,1,4,2,20,5,13,16,2,12,0,1,0,0,18,5,1,5,6,75,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.17957031054474973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217272101050564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849027442846586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664504479998027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304258816624628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922785738263276,0.3530444019101047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233401495993154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035833097421275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075748717847312,0.1948433785411372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989954042011794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17411771152433955,0.1228302204377527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644343457361585,0.14192230142286247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469208687608825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566139311446682,0.1275715632584827,0.0,0.0,0.2019912034911196,0.0,0.0,0.17623375174963501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888868755521046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961335564101219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012805423795987,0.0,0.1734302358333794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083562204440446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222501741848372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892829796984226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3737486144495786,0.0,0.130717676986356,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AtariMaker,2019/03/09,"How to De-Stress? Hi everyone, brand new reddit user here.

​

I legitimately only made a reddit because I came across this subthread, and I'm hoping that maybe I can get some help..

I saw my psychiatrist on Wednesday, and finally was able to explain to her exactly how I feel, and why I'm always anxious and struggling with stress. It's because I have it engrained in me that I cannot function without stress. If I am not stressed and anxious, then I become even more so stressed and anxious because I'm freaking out about what is going to go wrong.

I really don't feel like this is a way to live life.. I shouldn't be in a constant state of tired from losing sleep over anything/everything, and I can't seem to break this cycle.

If anyone else feels this way/did feel this way, first and foremost, I'm so sorry. But, if you can share your wisdom as to how you cope/managed to beat this, please let me know.

Thanks for letting me finally get this out.",5.227508771929823,5.726143347368421,5.614473684210527,83.01048245614038,68.15789473684211,8.017543859649122,31.096491228070178,7.793537801064563,2.002333333333334,756,29,149,8,12,242,118,190,0.157,0.7490000000000001,0.094,-0.8726,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,0,3,8,13,0,5,3,0,14,3,1,4,1,33,34,19,0,5,6,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,12,12,0,0,7,0,0,3,6,8,0,1,4,5,20,5,22,26,2,21,0,1,1,0,8,7,0,6,8,95,32,0,0.09866410957976897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209644298739423,0.1069025215082501,0.11988769246436927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343870806086668,0.0,0.06898823947298666,0.10109303984951344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18043417629801253,0.10896675738544946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128454569405548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662085138865296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242120325187767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651667138540583,0.0,0.0,0.0942777848609966,0.08867293979178496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19955015331329448,0.0704856595978082,0.0,0.2161634187621218,0.0,0.08392364120596774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030958500889616,0.0,0.11214617437896043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613247290114865,0.0,0.0,0.09799572302631793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054223214335662274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017814734865109,0.0696893784405613,0.04820230022399913,0.0,0.08712221636921863,0.0,0.0,0.11037990131793322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335836608274484,0.0,0.0,0.09912135943054888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529041184712243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503850131046776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830356404254768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320675503571498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982009979661765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987353636197418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044639292492567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5650970208619792,0.10314514960765536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083665615987377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339987988509605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349449332444161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890290126751957,0.0,0.0,0.09510868079793633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787371527407456,0.11988769246436927,0.0
mentalhealth,irishmadlibber,2019/03/09,"New to SSRI's This week I started intake of an SSRI first the first time in my life. As a 38 year old male, who has suffered from anxiety most of my life, this is a new avenue for me. To be honest this is clutching at straws. I grew up in Ireland, and as you can imagine access to mental health services, not to mention medication was rare. I suffered the loss of my sister which changed my life without measure. Grief counselling, of course, was non-existent. I went through considerable tough periods through out the next 20 years - including bad bouts with booze and drugs and many ideations. I eventually got in to CBT in my early 30s to great effect but fell off after a close friends suicide. The next few years were hammered by anxiety, which has left me exhausted, and my relationships strained.

I recently passed out and hit my head quite badly and ended in ER - symptomatically my doctor described it as resulting from a panic attack. Which brings us to this week - and the reason for this post- the SSRIs

I've been prescribed a 20mg for the next few months - and to honest I'm worried. I realise I'm in the first few days of settling in but I would love to hear about others experiences at this age. Have they felt success ? Have they experienced any difficulties weening off of them after their course? Did they pair with talk therapy or anything else?

Secondly - I was to say hello to everyone on here and admire everyone's courage in the face of mental health issues and realise everyone's story is different but the goal is similar - to be content and happy in ones skin 

💚",5.5372081541646745,6.899127036789303,5.906669851887248,78.07430323299893,67.92976588628763,8.772161172161173,31.96384774645644,9.107695989026183,2.8214623666188885,1260,53,226,23,21,404,177,299,0.134,0.748,0.118,-0.1693,1,0,1,0,0,1,31.0,1,1,5,8,2,20,1,2,16,0,18,14,3,3,0,30,28,18,2,1,6,1,2,0,1,1,9,2,0,1,12,16,1,0,5,0,0,5,2,11,1,5,9,5,26,9,53,15,4,50,0,4,0,1,18,19,0,2,25,151,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044066976872587,0.0,0.15848294783105468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524080331459788,0.0,0.0,0.1178417500608738,0.0,0.0,0.17297662099295327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957813370809083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680310854913504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822322976959847,0.0,0.10602260980122563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012455037179146,0.0,0.08653113759309293,0.0,0.09174467567298307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969368433817323,0.0,0.10132502493448883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945688092404023,0.0,0.0,0.2643254839042228,0.0,0.0,0.08002873886072201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284558469933252,0.11420172199046467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026709057071653,0.0,0.0,0.10630706454685024,0.22020988926618867,0.11674669248033015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811478053558543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254431544311327,0.0,0.21949332053023454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348860116603527,0.0,0.0,0.10501791445213768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434997903591664,0.20877661081473495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267975787720759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008413887498044,0.3304882667168882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869397978062106,0.0,0.07019119690507147,0.0,0.0,0.12153350165012995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920483552954536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017433084364882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650160044667384,0.10227670022559328,0.11121044717372218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237415169342598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331728597290811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133040799723378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325689281536508,0.0,0.0,0.11845732760431245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040066144715996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12459879400906175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661776680448421,0.0,0.0,0.09602340265837933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985127636724103,0.0,0.0,0.10519457668511756,0.0,0.07358309925024076,0.0,0.0,0.2001140931239655
mentalhealth,horse126,2019/03/09,"What does this mental disorder sound like? I am born ""different"", I was born with a large head that messed up my mum's legs that she couldn't walk for a while and also left scars on his legs permanently.  I already started wearing glasses when I was 4, I believe that before 4, l everything I saw was  blurry because of abnormal eyeballs. Now I am pretty sure I have some form of autism, being unable to make friends and just feel half disconnected all the time. My hair is always messy ever since I could remember and I'm quite unaware of my appearance. I was also already sexual at a young age... When I was 5, and saw a ""spanking"" took place in a kindergarten,I was sexually aroused by it and soon discovered masturbation because of it. So ya I was already interested to female butts since I was 5 and I started masturbating ever since with fantasies in my head. I already had a few talents when I was young, around 5, I could already draw really well and detailed that could seem like a 12 yr olds drawing. I am very sensitive, I get tensed very easily from the littlest threats or if people are just around me.i also get obsessed very easily that I couldn't focus on doing anything . This is just the context of what I am like so maybe these could give some clues of what mental disorder that I have that I'm going to talk about. So this disorder could have ruined my life along with autism, autism have made it hard for me to make friends, but this disorder...it made my life hell.. I was bullied for it, everywhere I go.. even now, I'm anxious of going out because of it.. and I'm very suicidal...because this disorder could be holding me back my whole life besides Asperger's. Basically I'm not observant and people can see it.. I also feel that people can read my embarrassing memories or thoughts. Being not observant really ruined life. Am i too dumb to be observant? People hate me and are mean to me because of it, calling me stoned, daydreaming , and alot more. The thought of what people said to me when I was a child, how I was very stoned and very mean stuffs to me, still makes me teary whenever I think of it. How could people be so mean and heartless to someone so harmless? Could it be I don't  seem like I'm listening or feel anything so they can say anything they feel like? Could have masturbation at a young age caused this disorder because of dopamine overload or something? it's like I just see things, but they don't get into my head and make sense and being pieced into the big picture . And somehow people just know about this maybe from my face expression and everyone just finds my face expression very funny or something. My head no longer looks as large as it was when I was a kid, so I guess I did grew out of it a little. I think becoming permanently observant would really help me alot, it could help me avoid mistakes or accidents because of observed clues or meanings that was picked up. I could also be a slow learner because of this disorder because not being observant and unable make sense of everything u observed really makes you a human being thats unworthy to survive. I often feel no direction as well. I'm not saying I can't see be aware anything around me,  Its just that I cant intuitively make sense of everything that's happened or be more aware of the abstract part. Things that are meaningful could appear meaningless to me or being unable to piece it into the bigger picture without conscious effort that could end up in failure too. And I'm just very upset, this has ruined my life along with Asperger's and possible PTSD because of all the social trauma and torture that I have been through. I would rather die than continue living like this, I feel like a dead man that people everywhere just pick on. 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mentalhealth,BlueButALighterShade,2019/03/09,Helping A Friend With Deppression how should i help my stubborn friend from committing suicide and helping him understand that depression is not a thing to be procrastinated about.,10.344482758620694,12.774469827586213,8.375344827586208,60.8416379310345,57.620689655172406,12.696551724137931,45.53448275862069,12.161744961471696,6.655606896551725,151,9,20,5,2,45,26,29,0.255,0.398,0.34700000000000003,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,1,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,8,4,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,17,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27381428488351256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4912309234393642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6392624717525812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477405031405297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211204404447002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33095415313480897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Harajuku_Lolita,2019/03/09,"Recovering from a panic attack So I just suffered a major panic attack and I’m still shaking and my chest hurts.  Background:  I suffer from fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder, and generalized anxiety.  I usually have a pretty good control of these but tonight really shook me.  I was recently offered a raise and guaranteed hours at my work so I wouldn’t leave and get a second job which admittedly felt good bc it validated my work ethic and made me feel good that they feel they need me so badly.  So recently I’ve been working doubles, 10-11 hours a day.  I just worked two in a row and when I left I was have bilateral pulsing pain in my thighs.  So I could barely sleep last night but it was fine, today was my day off I can rest.  So for much of the day I felt fine but a couple hours ago I was hit with a dizzy spell and the pulsing in my thighs became so bad.  I was trembling, running a fever and my blood pressure was elevated.  I guess I should also mention I have tachycardia and am currently wearing a heart monitor for a month, even though I keep explaining to all my doctors that I feel it’s anxiety related.  So I had a lot of thoughts going through my head mostly worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with this new routine and that my family would suffer because of it. My mother and I got in a fight because I’m not sure but whenever I get sick her reaction is anger. I don’t know if it’s frustration since I am sick a lot.  So I go to my room we continue arguing and then I have a full-blown panic attack. I am trembling, sobbing, and my chest and heart are going bonkers. I’m screaming at her because I’m scared about what’s happening to me.  I’m in my car right now. I stopped crying but I’m still shaking and I can’t stop thinking which is stressing me out because I just want to relax and go to bed. I don’t know what to do or who I can talk to so I just looked for a mental health board on Reddit. I don’t even really know what I’m expecting I just needed to get it out to somebody. I guess I’m about to have to go back inside and explain all the other things that were going through my head to her but I’m worried about another fight.  So yeah I’m not sure what I was expecting but it just needed to talk to someone. Thank you for listening.",2.151163227016884,3.92042868376069,4.015126120491974,86.60683864915572,77.33333333333333,7.300896393579321,25.73087346258078,8.176038313617813,1.6072020429435063,1776,67,373,32,41,601,212,468,0.263,0.6759999999999999,0.06,-0.9985,2,0,0,0,2,0,34.0,1,1,2,5,29,37,8,11,20,1,35,18,11,2,4,80,82,42,0,12,17,1,5,0,0,4,7,2,2,0,23,23,0,5,13,1,0,11,8,28,0,2,16,8,64,9,44,59,9,52,0,5,1,0,20,15,1,7,26,252,87,6,0.0759096728239303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728934483084296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06070493793188765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959791064219182,0.11614138387279065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590746345402007,0.0,0.058369852777134,0.12676281211765938,0.18509532794143133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513915280253187,0.06060769692361352,0.08399260915462645,0.0833832111534555,0.14686637736265964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699906156185895,0.07769676670354304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027524595806188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156088375052752,0.0,0.11514663423073672,0.0,0.14577038027463998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897901298289455,0.0,0.2588472984296178,0.1910082961640384,0.0607118998378801,0.0,0.16724612549549128,0.0,0.06712667298265723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581044851698478,0.08068843251550634,0.0,0.179906655574364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22426721067723185,0.0,0.08126287475921383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532863722308332,0.13494401008938567,0.0,0.0,0.1251539129237518,0.061876514880572074,0.0,0.08037738302904894,0.08247608163190533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374500683246903,0.0,0.0,0.12907137855863374,0.0,0.07182756784510645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649909606092976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06059037662753858,0.0,0.05580234380448812,0.1688581816529175,0.0,0.07331403503646329,0.0,0.07123608568299641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077324391453762,0.2671909362185589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722742728192998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972593603785436,0.0,0.14990328820493282,0.0,0.0,0.06482644582823076,0.0,0.0,0.07599882504624754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627932657888697,0.0,0.07596449388180798,0.0,0.06431801944751704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212431255474251,0.1269277709819034,0.08695427374779942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430879365649545,0.0,0.0,0.122026639217148,0.0,0.06988742795008984,0.0,0.0,0.050431013614086063,0.04863985324732644,0.07458086813505124,0.06026380102946478,0.0,0.0,0.07195349395201524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415272024211743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360378017776185,0.0,0.044773491783359605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22105258358264468,0.15417991499181272,0.0,0.05392405361920754,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SelfImprovement730,2019/03/10,"Why am I not back to being happy yet? So about 5 weeks ago I ended a toxic relationship I was in for 6 months. The girl I was extremely mentally draining and had an abundance of mental problems that made the relationship an absolute nightmare at times. Sure there was alot of good times but eventually the bad times began dominate most of our time. I've been occupying my time with school and going to the gym every afternoon. My friends have been great throughout this entire ordeal and I ended up throwing a party a night ago which I thought would finally break me out of this dumb cycle. I got completely plastered and had an amazing time but today I'm sitting here on my phone wondering, why am I not happy again? ",5.949359286293593,6.933712824817523,6.62549878345499,74.67349553933497,66.73722627737226,9.592538523925382,32.010543390105425,9.725611199111238,3.1317613949716137,575,23,101,12,9,189,95,137,0.08900000000000001,0.716,0.195,0.9535,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,0,7,10,1,0,11,0,12,0,0,1,1,18,19,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,3,0,0,11,0,13,7,14,6,2,29,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,3,20,69,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24619867961723305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067819928943321,0.11595014428506573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560191860512892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459941307814611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700345471431473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212463439070156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729015013226076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892267745121669,0.1164770599509257,0.11106654117910612,0.1531039982904601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956581065851632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140157931420968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27989537555253435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108442262345622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031951998004082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287925633774872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981875197186347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054324166991333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088276137925384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024678780472537,0.4858551660571687,0.0,0.1316319489316299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139265223327577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506160585530581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505979351558087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986488338832252,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ryanide1,2019/03/10,"I want to be loved but I want to be hated. I don’t know why. I want somebody to Love me and talk to me, but I also want everybody to leave me alone and hate me. I feel that i deserve it. I believe it’s my fault. I made them all like this. I’m ugly. Annoying. Cowardly. Unmotivated. I’m a waste of skin. I don’t deserve anything. I just want to be loved. I just want companionship. I’m tired of being lonely no matter how repulsive I am. 

I flinch at sudden movements. I’m almost always bored. I sometimes feel tired of living. I don’t like this. Is it wrong for my to feel tired of it? Is it selfish? Or do I deserve everything?",-1.6804639844256961,0.13905561940298838,1.6523231667748242,93.59316353017523,104.74626865671641,4.4199870214146655,17.766385463984424,6.280692351149826,0.023076963011032348,479,16,108,7,23,170,69,134,0.377,0.452,0.172,-0.9914,0,3,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,0,4,13,3,0,1,0,11,7,1,2,1,22,31,7,0,6,5,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,1,4,24,5,13,26,1,3,0,1,0,3,6,1,0,2,3,68,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914051355796697,0.1439125287912576,0.0,0.11111998968694728,0.11561932578270555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143457856541508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655149792986506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488123895295734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077515675186995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27437297520933285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636447153042962,0.0,0.0,0.14713027107075075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357700102531867,0.0,0.12269730028194695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762292400243189,0.13147989060036827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742723619140032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168448031819507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4791151910747633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4917454936662181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253827089949149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192237051706545,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,claiclaiclai3,2019/03/10,"My best friend’s mental health Hi everyone, just wanted some advice on how to handle this situation that I am in. I wanna keep things short. My best friend has had marks on her arms for about a year now. I just recently found out that she can’t stop picking at her skin. She will pick and pick until there’s blood. It started on her arms and now it’s her chest and face. She’s suffering from anxiety and depression. It’s very weird because when I’m with her we laugh and talk like there’s absolutely nothing wrong but yet I can see that she has changed. She’s very antsy and anything will put her over the edge. She’ll be seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. She cried to me today because she’s scared and doesn’t want to be told that she’s crazy. I told her that she should buy some coloring books to keep her mind occupied or put gloves on while driving so she doesn’t pick. If anyone has any sort of advice I would really appreciate it. I don’t want to make this about me at all but I need some guidance on how I can be the best person for her. ",2.603194444444444,4.245796634259264,3.5668518518518515,90.86333333333332,75.71296296296295,7.207407407407408,21.722222222222214,7.984000788550335,0.7713999999999999,827,21,184,13,18,265,122,216,0.08800000000000001,0.792,0.12,0.7756,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,3,13,12,0,1,4,0,19,7,6,7,1,40,33,17,0,8,6,0,1,1,2,5,1,0,0,1,12,10,0,3,1,1,1,3,4,5,0,0,4,4,34,7,24,21,7,26,0,2,3,0,28,11,0,6,13,122,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25382607875235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831993551563669,0.0,0.09935456163834784,0.0,0.0,0.0908121152546994,0.0,0.10687664209843764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834205307102026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088896306280535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739127885634028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142662367467971,0.0,0.0,0.11186175755887363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410180532447103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424020109713185,0.2006833006779499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805180504210776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308789945681496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345071097512855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669304403099137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088416723514135,0.0,0.13113744234237473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630119232118987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461924522511655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340245926103795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26112191822656405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320170462425636,0.0,0.1282365939780855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002824136777674,0.0,0.2069882494723678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598573811109591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192669505512943,0.0,0.0,0.1085819078878228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438917501534033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628364986752901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310698584029565,0.24820361064894206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21432212265570447,0.2298121737911909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225997711491532,0.14199869918781946,0.0,0.08363569823373848
mentalhealth,broken-heart-,2019/03/10,"I used to love Games of Thrones, but now it’s my life, Over the last few years over the course of my early 30s my life has fallen apart. I separated from my husband in that time I was sexually assaulted by another guy, stalked and developed a drinking problem. Reconciled with my husband I was finally back on track than found my brothers body from suicide. It’s haunts me and now I see happiness in the future as an abstract concept. My brother was my soul mate and was the only one who understood me, now I will spend the great majority of my life with him. I have little children and business, I am trying to get my life on track. I have suffered depression before this and ocd. ",4.307894736842107,5.80345832330827,5.300759398496241,80.747530075188,71.03007518796994,8.62827067669173,32.096992481202996,9.120678840339163,2.8546998496240605,539,25,103,11,10,177,86,133,0.192,0.722,0.086,-0.9542,0,0,1,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,7,0,9,7,1,1,0,13,15,7,1,1,1,4,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,5,7,1,0,3,2,1,1,0,4,0,1,6,1,22,3,18,8,2,19,1,2,1,1,11,8,0,0,10,73,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971552740624596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645316488786225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620687391944483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21155983029482592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404424208680252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865797960616523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20864130327642288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088312437709717,0.0,0.0,0.09950829168103842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20998451610481134,0.0,0.18858686520837803,0.0,0.2027498469568664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552515726070268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5381144626830044,0.0,0.190892495364215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189897258120798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906166614685208,0.14485458084426794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822459677997055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177318525367212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20833400750015604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105965343895087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293108808907117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644976152677146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265098481876835
mentalhealth,travelingfrog,2019/03/10,"Panic attacks, and my family's unwillingness to help. So I think I've been having panic attacks for the past couple of weeks, went to the doctor and first they tested me if it was anything physical like low blood sugar, heart, whatever. Lab work came back normal, and family doesn't believe that depression/anxiety can cause anything physical. Talk therapy doesn't seem to work, but what else can I do?",8.378513513513514,8.264638608108115,8.527702702702705,66.87371621621624,61.567567567567565,12.264864864864863,34.71621621621622,11.698219412168324,4.376983783783784,323,12,52,9,4,106,58,74,0.133,0.818,0.049,-0.631,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,3,2,6,2,2,2,0,8,4,2,1,0,10,12,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,2,0,0,2,2,5,0,1,4,1,5,1,5,8,0,7,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,5,31,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709618350272892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734371344869515,0.0,0.0,0.3780150961347717,0.0,0.12775094065893774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871822067979656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001920944176595,0.0,0.17067092530613642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383008209514445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005071214474676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878814715076385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31324287379721105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131808570577264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687598466439912,0.11135973533896963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116731705613969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278133373843692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898575698862008,0.0,0.0,0.15859885292866793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124706672351654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353655357810304,0.0,0.0,0.1899948789757488,0.0,0.0,0.10645541679853014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133267002418441,0.0,0.0,0.15401288494249468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419029185802061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nineteen_eightyfour,2019/03/10,"Father has serious mental health issues Hey, so my father has some serious depression for which he’s been being treated for 30 years of various medicines and doctors. He’s 66 and now he’s just taken a huge downhill turn. He’s an engineer and quite skilled, but he’s been literally unable to get out of bed since being fired Friday. He says he won’t kill himself but I’m unsure. In the months before this I knew it was coming. He’s been like walking around aimlessly and weirdly watching me over my shoulder while I do everything. He was fired bc apparently the behavior continues at work and he just paces around. He refuses medical treatment and my mother isn’t taking it well. This is like his 5th firing for issues stemming from mental health in recent years. I guess, will he ever be the same? Is my dad gone forever inside that shell of a man? What can I do, he doesn’t listen to me. My mom is going to baker act him, but man I don’t want to do that. He’s on the max dose of Paxil and is still unable to function. I just dunno what to do. 

Thanks for listening, that part alone helps",1.9114698843238929,4.3003165091743165,3.6413841244515375,85.83750099720784,81.1559633027523,6.543597925807737,22.32229756681292,7.7425588080867325,1.2170587953729552,861,28,166,15,23,287,130,218,0.139,0.778,0.084,-0.9295,1,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,10,10,1,0,7,0,24,6,1,0,1,25,38,12,1,1,6,5,3,2,0,2,5,3,1,2,10,11,0,1,1,0,0,5,4,5,1,0,8,7,16,5,23,25,4,23,0,1,1,0,30,9,0,3,11,103,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16234562879656864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790812976038696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338262440166995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502616400027706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500846391646468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16044017033813454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14178926362326108,0.0,0.0,0.14087670776822597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189535600828826,0.0,0.08908458359679303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172677693045276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332356391740193,0.0,0.0,0.1050661575082725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272123528692621,0.0,0.0,0.1734205460015148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316017216430955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579090388615363,0.3159340735389754,0.0,0.0,0.1835835948321724,0.12511627908617626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974487248620054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667228192230434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477162122853932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465381633154085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966514163574075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518067701181235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178564211671222,0.0,0.0,0.14431425296743022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17049888531199833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924551555119952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409369899484468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411579808399855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188359978476467
mentalhealth,austinnutt,2019/03/10,"Emotional pain is a thing right now Anybody else have times where your soul just hurts, all the way through?
That’s where I am right now... it makes you feel numb, as if you’re going into shock. And it sucks, it’s so debilitating. I probably won’t fall asleep til like 3 or 4 tonight.
So yeah, it’s one of those nights. It makes sense though, I just got back from a very happy weekend away with my GF, went to an indoor resort (we live in the Midwest so we couldn’t be outdoors 🙄) so it’s just the shock/disappointment/depression of coming back into the real world. But it obviously doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Main struggles right now are my GF has back surgery soon, so that’s a thing. I also just recently lost my job, so I’m in the process of trying to find another one ASAP, and let’s just say right now I’m definitely not healthy enough to be self employed. It’s so hard to keep trying to look for a job because a big part of me (the depressed part) is absolutely dreading going back to work again, but the sensible side of me knows I need to be working because I need an income, and also I need to be doing 
/something/ every day. I can easily say I’d rather have a job I hate than be unemployed.

This whole thing didn’t really have any direction/purpose other than to vent, just FYI 🙃😕😕

(I do see a therapist every three weeks or so, so I am actively working through this thing, the bigger struggle for me has always been anxiety but I just needed to vent somewhere, that’s all)",2.9457076502732233,4.36867599016394,4.261331967213113,87.14587773224045,74.34426229508199,7.443989071038255,25.16734972677596,8.07648339933343,1.3381284153005473,1167,38,249,18,24,385,170,305,0.111,0.823,0.066,-0.8487,7,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,2,2,0,4,32,14,2,3,17,1,24,3,1,3,3,40,46,23,0,7,15,0,2,1,2,1,2,2,0,1,20,9,0,1,3,1,0,5,5,12,0,3,5,6,22,2,30,33,8,39,1,4,2,0,9,15,1,3,19,166,42,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630431690278264,0.07611414709025129,0.0,0.0,0.12441165115841472,0.09591903344387856,0.06997777450459587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594334367557949,0.28135310665687163,0.0,0.11152406393509666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879721850662692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589935123019134,0.0,0.1575737785374381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641524235869987,0.10289654798295107,0.0,0.09451765491200302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414249435312033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04625227710384015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360607448733809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397418087407076,0.0,0.07316054785870535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973763512710666,0.08194322249528099,0.09031217251656397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19585077896864034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723231055233047,0.08130677622305521,0.0,0.0,0.05027201619788251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353891712091712,0.0,0.04468984082417885,0.0,0.08077369676751547,0.0,0.07681557710389042,0.0,0.09985526870208493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317990194753767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713088562679509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584266132001299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239710345233321,0.0,0.09733536247247096,0.0,0.0,0.1981160304257363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862502811996884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411805549595007,0.05860093415526664,0.0,0.09032007497854334,0.0,0.0,0.3124750373610875,0.0,0.14548845515808642,0.0,0.0,0.0728933669870261,0.0,0.09542789750519057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070421571726399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912581057887863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062089940433138,0.2430864851818937,0.0,0.0898732733962939,0.0,0.05333954125062754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12421041938901008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547607741021191,0.0,0.07260823391102181,0.07337536019671953,0.0,0.0,0.08479781718289563,0.0,0.10212805976571857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19978366881542686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yahsehh,2019/03/10,"Not a sliver of motivation to be found, need help Hey all. Im completely new to this site, so please excuse any misplacements or whatever. 

Im an 18 year old male, and like all adolescents, its a period of discovery and finding your place in the world. Im fully aware that there will be always be confusion down this road to adulthood, but for some odd reason i cant find a sliver of motivation to fulfill my own purpose.

Some background knowledge: I moved to a smaller town about 5 years ago, away from my friends and those who kept me active. Ever since, i have fallen into habits of sleeping during my free time every afternoon (typically 4-8) and its been something i rarely have control of. This along with bad eating habits has put my health on decline, though this doesnt show due to my fast metabolism. I didnt see this as much of a problem back then and dismissed it as me not having any reason to be outside. 

However, fast foward to present time and i simply cannot find any motivation to do a thing with life. I have no job experience or intention of finding one, and my grades in school are at a concerning all-time low. Though graduation is risk, i can never find it in me to do the work. Its like ive grown out of anything that requires effort. It feels impossible to jump back in it. 

My motivation comes in short bursts, and in the end nothing comes from it. How might i challenge this and find lasting motivation? How do i find it in myself to be successful? ",5.168843201754385,5.991239031250004,5.931995614035088,79.53098684210528,68.40972222222223,9.1187134502924,30.08845029239766,9.276330184999452,2.4966222222222223,1163,43,227,22,19,381,170,288,0.119,0.774,0.107,-0.3631,2,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,11,10,11,0,2,11,0,24,4,1,11,4,54,31,20,0,2,5,0,1,2,1,2,2,0,0,1,20,16,1,3,17,1,1,7,8,5,0,1,4,2,23,7,42,20,6,47,0,1,1,0,7,20,0,6,22,152,43,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623352668677862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094538769589725,0.0,0.0,0.1984627639254156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005377897257802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139847899041276,0.1496058037067759,0.08122537356485618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675975267466191,0.1019970290108956,0.0,0.10910864749453797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954250657109656,0.0,0.0,0.08616188143053392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879960194323308,0.08196323839135583,0.0,0.0,0.09515925278835806,0.0,0.0,0.04918807666003437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6223899840274899,0.0,0.0,0.10666333529686378,0.07515887606743434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340490186272312,0.0,0.0,0.06520524475212475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31523975204266474,0.0,0.09653614646695093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929680561836765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871227973937323,0.09505293378093742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319951623908692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339405551625937,0.0715125539674368,0.0721324530178981,0.07502892148360044,0.09395436696144573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334351563733134,0.0,0.10207979623201836,0.0,0.06591996255738013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163769202994208,0.10678506475143593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308455199951032,0.0,0.09779403579760544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20004165260896256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984533255826651,0.07752017301366917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047165230642125,0.0,0.09735101785984288,0.0,0.0,0.07489148395486518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462901621741211,0.0,0.19115571116986574,0.0,0.11345039026539515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082155396770176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529124360876245
mentalhealth,ParkdaleTurdBurglar,2019/03/10,"Nightmares and anxiety after anaphylactic shock Hi, 

this week my partner who had a minor surgery, went into anaphylactic shock with some common post surgery antibiotics. With no prior allergy experience we did not see this coming. A combination of fainting and extreme facial swelling at the cost of sounding dramatic I thought my partner was dead in my arms. With no reaction and no recognizable breathing I thought while waiting for an ambulance this would be the last time I would ever see her. Another thing that’s troubling is she was planning to be dropped off and I was going to return to work. I decided against it and I’m grateful I did because now  the thought of coming home and the worst case scenario of me coming home to a dead body is constantly on my mind.  All said and done she is fine now and was stabilized once the paramedics arrived. Going forward now I have had nightmares for the past 3 nights, mostly unrelated to the event but troubling my sleep nonetheless. I am also having issues separating myself from her in an irrational fear of things going wrong. Does anyone have any advice going forward?

Thanks, it is very much appreciated.",6.310288461538459,8.439117913461544,6.329038461538462,72.84096153846156,66.98076923076923,9.046153846153846,35.596153846153854,9.516144504307137,3.763167307692308,938,47,148,20,16,297,131,208,0.161,0.785,0.054000000000000006,-0.964,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,2,5,9,0,1,12,0,21,6,5,0,2,30,38,11,2,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,1,2,2,2,9,16,0,1,4,0,1,10,4,7,0,0,14,4,20,2,24,20,5,34,0,0,2,0,10,8,0,2,18,110,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331200182050773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894114950997262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926394283952508,0.14284649946734268,0.1042137287001042,0.0,0.0,0.09525349400950976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304307063739164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131813523967308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520440029669619,0.0,0.14721362230173474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921367656414088,0.1394081153866424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322564868136285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332567169347539,0.0,0.15329390524535189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096851008519665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27329474764594835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218620440121613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104366281246993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755102547218132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014294860547597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784035904301622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507793071006753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300446431650801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046836845356394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295836279523261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21711149361356613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136325965685245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542005636709208,0.0,0.0,0.1810071068760839,0.0,0.0,0.3244484541944419,0.07943539959985209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124020235033239,0.0,0.0,0.10927355056584638,0.0,0.0,0.12628433494521793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917530343521176,0.0,0.0,0.19354433387627373,0.14894347747004158,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sithlordliam,2019/03/10,"Asking for advice A few things about me. My name is Liam and im 20 years old

About a week ago i was involved in a house fire. I didnt lose much but i cant live in the place i was living with my mom for awhile because they have to rebuild it. Im going through alot of trama from the fire because i almost slept through it and died.  Just asking what advice people have. I have a history of depression and was doing really well on a new medication. But now i feel like ive fallen back into depression.",1.243679245283019,3.0968275188679257,3.349660377358493,89.92694339622645,80.41509433962264,6.1267924528301885,20.033962264150947,7.1686216300943375,0.4114709433962269,391,10,85,5,10,133,71,106,0.208,0.721,0.07200000000000001,-0.9523,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,8,0,11,2,1,0,0,12,16,5,1,0,3,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,5,3,12,2,15,11,3,14,0,3,0,0,6,5,0,2,8,60,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249448070859613,0.1473840446948518,0.0,0.1664905545921974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31087098668272645,0.0,0.0,0.12784765570482767,0.0,0.20270741344492907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286407901102465,0.0,0.17255700050437522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406866757576095,0.11877987337415095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449232984508092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184768735963004,0.0,0.0,0.3591898378721384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812287655335705,0.0,0.2936303891446583,0.0,0.0,0.1860082004822876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749467060607265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472776205075973,0.0,0.0,0.1222240334488799,0.0,0.0,0.16057994090650254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446733107585932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152673367655549,0.0,0.17371171886814732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651372779047756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104591935497379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333678934505385,0.0,0.14949235887836498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706932070040584
mentalhealth,0penlyGinger,2019/03/10,"What does being on meds feel like? I haven't been to a doctor yet but I feel like I need depression meds. Will they make me feel better? Or will I just feel numb? I'm sure it depends on the type prescribed but I really know nothing. I just want to return to feeling positive and not hating myself and snapping on my kids.

I've tried exercise, meditation, taking time for myself, nothing is working and I am hiding the pain 24/7.",1.9659869281045736,4.378305023529413,3.641568627450983,85.77594771241833,81.11764705882355,6.130718954248366,22.38562091503268,7.3871296695380915,1.0586993464052288,337,11,64,5,9,112,60,85,0.165,0.612,0.223,0.7013,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,3,8,1,0,3,0,7,4,0,2,1,20,19,6,0,2,6,0,5,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,5,12,4,7,15,0,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,2,5,41,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627900347341995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619321891694947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924355500382252,0.16452826084942893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4753159158215807,0.26862785350143537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856203226196755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033250292332524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370375643625653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549770995970025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41767203803277003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940656067374446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608001095697503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000552182611863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044361242356262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719659996775688,0.0,0.14135964319305638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962977170669956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276460164629779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089279366460257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687305570708258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AndIThankYou,2019/03/10,"for those who have had relapses of depression after recovering... was it like the same depression, as in same symptoms, or did it feel like a different strain of depression? if that makes sense.",8.403529411764708,9.091034058823533,8.045882352941177,67.65647058823532,61.352941176470594,13.858823529411767,37.588235294117645,13.023866798666859,5.551811764705883,154,7,26,6,2,49,28,34,0.278,0.609,0.113,-0.8074,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,2,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,6,3,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,0,2,6,3,2,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,3,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7785526679940078,0.0,0.0,0.3148044488671106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235121001403293,0.2152556708188284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944093459274413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112652795669744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131760908868093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BumbledTheBees,2019/03/10,"My friend is in a psych ward and I’m not coping well So I’m a university student and so is my friend, I’ll call her N. We had a week off of classes, and when she got back to campus Monday night we got dinner together. She seemed a little bit less depressed than normal. Her depressions been really hard on her for the last month or so. 

Tuesday night I was in a biology lab and couldn’t use my phone. I got out at 8PM and had a message from her asking which floor advisor was on duty, and a message from another friend that lives on the same floor as us asking what happened to N and why she was leaving in an ambulance. 

I assume this had something to do with N’s recent depressive rut. She’s been committed more than once for feeling suicidal. 

I haven’t heard from N since so I assume she was committed. I don’t know where, since it depends on what place had an opening. I don’t know what happened to have her committed. I also don’t know if her family knows about it since N is 25 with her own health insurance. 

I don’t want to contact her parents if they don’t know, (N doesn’t have a great relationship with them,) but I am really stressed by the fact that no one seems to know what happened to her or when she’ll be back.  I am pretty close with her family, I spend breaks with them and they’ve pretty much adopted me since my parents couldn’t handle my sexuality. (I’m bi)

This has all been weighing on me a lot emotionally and even though I know she’s safe. Not knowing where she is, if her family knows, what happened, when she’ll be back, etc is really really stressful for me. I’ve been trying to suppress my emotions since it happened but now I just keep randomly crying and I’m only feeling worse about the situation. 

I don’t know what to do or how to get any answers or how to emotionally cope with any of this. I know I shouldn’t blame myself for her being in this situation either but I really feel like I’ve been failing her as a friend the last few weeks. She was really depressed and doesn’t have many friends, but I was too emotionally drained to be around her constant negativity and complaining. I knew it was just because she was in a bad spot, but I really feel like I could’ve tried harder to support her. I’ve been where she is and I know how lonely and frustrating it can be. 

If anyone’s been in a similar situation I’d really appreciate advice on how to cope. Also if there’s any way for me to find where she is that’d be nice. ",3.4473240038457433,4.555760976284585,5.018217070825768,83.44233148167935,72.63636363636364,8.47422283944023,25.928640102553143,8.918530864059932,1.8108022219848308,1938,62,409,38,37,655,208,506,0.124,0.7659999999999999,0.11,-0.8754,2,2,1,0,0,0,41.0,3,0,3,1,31,23,1,2,19,0,56,4,0,6,5,91,95,44,1,10,19,2,5,2,5,3,1,1,0,0,19,26,2,4,23,0,1,0,16,11,1,1,24,6,68,12,54,59,11,46,0,6,0,1,51,26,0,16,20,284,87,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970554526107062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772220317518933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464889187045045,0.0640679610349365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04272206295148322,0.0,0.0,0.0543913457785572,0.11423922685324915,0.0,0.0,0.14094480959999578,0.051015377425800895,0.03724557643104322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670462938478303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238923378792247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602665555410167,0.0,0.04878283278532535,0.0,0.06711473052554946,0.0,0.0,0.2104990081946781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749140307239783,0.0,0.0,0.06814188913099244,0.040355522519233286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17279699459815515,0.0,0.12357460165608168,0.0872987282910298,0.0,0.0,0.05584366866741628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360259030644907,0.0,0.03192187125794048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466001155729518,0.06736221249526296,0.0,0.0,0.27014962040838963,0.0,0.054732986743204516,0.0,0.0,0.06494571664841396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054307880134997814,0.0,0.0,0.4029430396791618,0.09960819605344852,0.0,0.06469535446908653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970007990658565,0.0612375668216263,0.053951816144778106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05194445422941053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619451173400425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876889176545321,0.0,0.0449150280413143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467513971152996,0.0598643578718004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506877834893529,0.04140247834101009,0.04646878368342821,0.0,0.0,0.13568712142729086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383578175180281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431994161677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31313429514630764,0.0,0.06032820428474776,0.0655978004853113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124504660891238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252709931288401,0.20603457620523505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047037239131748704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997812197201695,0.0,0.0,0.06683273578233925,0.06933478066939906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060029768558968126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296485091464488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349495517583103,0.0527701923940758,0.0,0.0,0.0360379600900457,0.048497793753819116,0.09802037300049277,0.0,0.0549356235555121,0.0,0.05513263004062345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06226542370179785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kamikaze_Goat,2019/03/10,"Anybody with a dissociating disorder ? Hey ! (Skip to the last paragraph, it's the only one important)
So last year was the weirdest year of all, I got cancer, depression, almost killed myself and blah, blah, blah ...
Then, for the past 3 months or so, I was really really happy, like someone who was able to taste life again ^^
Everything was all fine and dandy until yesterday, when I took some sweet brownies filled with delicious weed. It was a new dealer and apparently the one he got was a different kind. I kind of got a allergic reaction and in less than 15 minutes (it takes 1h-1h30 to hit), I was shaking, my heart was going completely nuts and my hands were getting real purple. Called 911, the guys were super chill and I got back on track in less than an hour. But for the whole ride in the ambulance, I was completely disconnected, and it was not because of the weed. I should have had the worst bad trip of my life, but even though I thought I had a 50/50 chances of survival because of the colour of my hands that I could not even keep still, I was super chill with the idea of dying and I felt like I was watching a dramatic show, and I just could not stop smiling thinking how bad and cheesy the story was. Even when I had no symptoms at all after 3-4 hours, I still thought what I was seeing and my life were two completely separated things.

If it would had been just that time, I would have thought it was just the weirdest trip ever (I'm used to out of body experiences and self-loss due to drugs but this was different), but it made me realize how in the past few years I had been slowly disconnecting and that this was just the first time it was a complete dissociation.

I'll soon see a therapist, so I'm not really here for psychological tips (will take them if they come tho) but still, I was curious to know some of your personnal stories and also what kind of person gets this kind of stuff (personnally, I'm a really sensible boy ;( and had a really great childhood until I was 9-10 years old and became too aware of pretty much everything, and I'm usually way over the average at school).

Thanks everybody ^^",6.2147248995983935,6.205884804819277,6.650135542168673,78.18275351405623,66.01204819277109,10.579317269076308,31.02660642570281,10.317481424215053,2.9297570281124496,1674,57,335,38,24,545,212,415,0.086,0.7809999999999999,0.133,0.9811,3,0,1,0,0,0,60.0,0,1,2,4,26,19,1,1,28,0,39,12,4,4,4,65,67,38,2,7,16,0,3,5,0,4,7,0,0,3,19,22,1,2,8,1,0,8,5,6,0,4,41,10,32,13,39,19,11,52,0,1,5,0,10,9,0,6,36,229,51,1,0.07782693769533784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793243602402271,0.0,0.0,0.06223817395686354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984411111754868,0.1299644842844956,0.09488515771111744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864481829523275,0.0,0.0,0.0794700049602238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704101555651579,0.3264002538164322,0.0,0.0,0.12427695382833992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703222739606554,0.0,0.08077207403893596,0.16262517054465214,0.08919641320853068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025453930917512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542118750333199,0.0703989208217043,0.0,0.0,0.1398916665813152,0.07612967888452953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747260650811531,0.0,0.0,0.06619955344574481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132272551483856,0.0,0.0442308422147435,0.0,0.2489812468040957,0.08580447356233606,0.0,0.07706090425209851,0.0,0.08284822236271312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222529589107037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328771317429782,0.0,0.0,0.0878571395306216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917615815539943,0.08610397553975659,0.32417911711141023,0.042771649607101433,0.12687868328940566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491440313061462,0.07604462113494571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364173022395748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212071915612224,0.0,0.057211754088296166,0.0,0.0,0.07516574139650231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166627921118479,0.0,0.10547509431867937,0.059190893133431725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858923666351784,0.0,0.06795548007064138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917797492531471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858409358232769,0.24928964580134155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876501592958397,0.12403598611118595,0.0,0.0811904694406571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594251175130098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18645807892995184,0.0650668047728864,0.0,0.0,0.08909322372945483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089198766767464,0.11703234292998364,0.0,0.0,0.07165258785102267,0.0,0.09036307317498604,0.05170475920189843,0.049868359161161946,0.0764645711367237,0.18535768553039408,0.09076302647561084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646859140393218,0.0,0.0,0.0760256094320008,0.0,0.0,0.06721748604197457,0.08571537656447649,0.0,0.0,0.06177540059679351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689099657666839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057204714967787,0.0,0.0,0.20047198487765744
mentalhealth,junkieweedman,2019/03/10,"I Don't Understand what is happening. Anyone feel the same? I expect too much of people that can give too little. I am constantly doubting myself. I feel like I am going insane. I feel sad and depressed. There is too much that I do not know. I miss my family and friends more than ever. I need help. 

What the fuck is going on? What is wrong with me? Is something wrong with me? I do not feel like myself. Who am I anyways? Can you help me understand? I feel out of place. I have always felt I am out of place. How do you fit in if you cannot fit in? Suicide is in the back of my mind often, but I do not wish for death. I do not want to bring sadness to my family.

Life took a turn from the happiest I ever was to maybe the most miserable I have ever been. I almost feel like I don’t have friends. Every little thing is just stacking up in a pile of shit. I long for connection, a type of connection no one seems able to provide. I question everything around myself. I question everything about myself. I don’t want to become a bad person. I don’t want to go crazy. 

I hate feeling everything, but I also hate feeling numb after taking meds. Why do I easily disclose? Why do I feel like I am the only one that really discloses? I miss how easy it was being a kid. Life is not good, but I know it can be. I don’t know how to get there and I don’t know where there is.",-0.4152956081081101,1.7737607118055578,2.154703453453454,93.47820945945948,91.1875,5.335735735735737,17.158783783783782,6.885778809224403,0.07186531531531504,1047,27,233,16,37,359,130,288,0.199,0.645,0.157,-0.9452,0,1,1,0,0,1,38.0,0,3,0,0,20,22,4,2,11,0,39,5,1,3,3,55,76,11,2,7,10,0,10,4,2,0,3,0,0,2,10,8,0,0,19,0,0,5,13,15,0,2,5,10,47,7,30,69,5,28,0,6,0,1,13,16,2,8,11,175,57,1,0.08735307447173747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747148595798056,0.0,0.0,0.0698562220952519,0.07268475566938158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107930073078529,0.0,0.0,0.07776275620710127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716912228526903,0.07293616844354253,0.0,0.09647460777152443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439764075571022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523707504279359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370475707527423,0.07359873274964784,0.0,0.23552193232932095,0.0,0.16469740877482875,0.0,0.39751505207212173,0.2496202154263153,0.08387265028423309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497753729638842,0.08075650976043194,0.045638376046292166,0.08379702873168228,0.14893429582403872,0.07326761442834631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724603526739879,0.0,0.0,0.17248615255594846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171018489892447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920278609976457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234001196734198,0.17070519925066774,0.17510145819350306,0.0,0.07730472206654118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775790435808105,0.0,0.09702957339709664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820170365408847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284291214205912,0.06477119787400573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838540795477122,0.06643594941604711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060559623060890286,0.07627333526356911,0.18253074133761008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571087019718827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596061630990302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795229582470348,0.0,0.0,0.08966667564782806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724866441343502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555008549438253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567864077849479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803350118679086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705247987454092,0.0,0.09501506095846396,0.0,0.18187526239342053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456931969064844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15764512561832902,0.0,0.1004517246368173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910137480389615,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thelovingbigguy,2019/03/10,"I love you. I love you, this is important, you are important, don't feel down. life is hard. your hard. get hard. be solid. I believe you can get solid. I love you. I'm not solid. but i love you and i love life.

​

Lets love it together. You are not alone. you are great.  together we are strong.

[https://soundcloud.com/wildwoolyllama/loveyouguys](https://soundcloud.com/wildwoolyllama/loveyouguys)",4.985892857142859,7.2041927777777826,3.1773710317460333,79.29558035714284,113.28571428571428,4.749603174603175,15.048611111111107,6.322622252153567,0.009223015873016216,327,7,53,5,16,92,32,63,0.042,0.443,0.515,0.9915,0,1,0,0,0,0,37.0,1,9,0,1,0,8,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,0,6,20,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,16,8,1,18,0,1,0,0,0,6,16,1,0,0,0,33,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485336812796689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538903908497445,0.17426374109160353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157849836060906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725144415097336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985582054522442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581144718248369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3854123982747517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466505599112525,0.20259513802903595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7766205554892451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17426374109160353,0.0
mentalhealth,dsfvdh54,2019/03/10,"I've been miserable and alone in this city for 6 months. I think I need to go back home I'm 26 and left my old job about 6 months ago for a new job with the same company which I had to move for.  I really hated my old job, so when this one came up I thought it was perfect.  

I miss my old life so much.  I have no friends down here, I'm super lonely, theres nothing for me other than the job.  I had friends back home, a great room mate situation, it was near the things I like to do, the mountains for snowboarding and hiking.  I'm further from my family.  I leave every weekend to go visit my old friends, driving forever and eating up a ton of my weekend.  I do have fun when I leave but theres always this looming feeling over me knowing I need to go back on Sunday.  

I visit my old room mates at my old place all the time and man I miss having that situation.  Even doing the same things I do now chilling alone was so much more fun there because I could always go see what my room mates were doing and shit too.

Im not sure how this would turn out but I've been thinking about asking my manager about applying to some jobs back at my old office so I can move back up there.  Career wise I like this job a lot more but I just do not want to be in this area, and signing a new 1 year lease and committing to stay here is terrifying. ",2.41394701542589,3.336215894366198,3.9356941649899397,90.9329812206573,74.91549295774648,7.099664654594232,23.38296445338699,7.447530270364453,0.7191386988598256,1030,28,240,12,21,343,144,284,0.121,0.7659999999999999,0.113,0.2283,6,5,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,25,18,2,1,11,0,22,3,1,1,4,37,44,18,0,5,6,0,1,2,6,1,1,0,5,1,14,11,1,0,5,2,0,10,3,6,0,1,10,2,33,12,32,31,10,55,0,4,1,0,10,19,1,2,27,159,47,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639254537183431,0.0,0.0,0.15514345058376802,0.0,0.0,0.1246422483626556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001950628662845,0.0,0.0,0.28795963971675137,0.0,0.045657116997345266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566334276347208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979994719816303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663933782915687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04946941327544997,0.0,0.06310478340386483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060715531112921,0.0,0.0378706720793932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17359799423006572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026500553757726,0.0,0.0,0.08257529381483411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394625485084315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025757323588945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090267727894958,0.0,0.4459481640552053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04116197427265443,0.0,0.0,0.15861230520346511,0.08137688077663494,0.0,0.05290266240378585,0.07318274528767969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367558919396257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195657154770365,0.1592094116010145,0.1101172749476973,0.11107181496049763,0.0,0.14467388290930586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186663743474406,0.0,0.5501498586795811,0.0,0.050752813588354616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825245399155241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04798156760926176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059683997649044085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688170616399458,0.0,0.16837694840024764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983128742400457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059046528415931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099517787487391,0.09598321017155392,0.0,0.05946063458020165,0.04367361786388824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146750110880913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044176772595348704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05320538022099229,0.0,0.0,0.0482318472616967
mentalhealth,waste_land,2019/03/10,DAE miss their therapist? I feel weird that I miss her but I saw a therapist 3 times a week for over a year when I came out of inpatient and she was the only professional I’ve ever had that I felt actually cared about her patients. She was so good at her job and even though I never really got used to the therapist/patient dynamic I felt comfortable talking to her and crying infront of her and it was the first treatment that helped since my mental health problems arose. Since therapy ended I’ve been struggling still but I think it helped change the way I think and everything’s a little easier now. Damn. Thanks Nancy I miss u,3.426202346041056,5.568103467741939,4.507976539589446,82.82060117302055,74.80645161290323,8.380058651026394,24.982404692082113,9.095868883498916,2.1025419354838712,506,17,97,12,11,165,81,124,0.152,0.6709999999999999,0.177,0.8109999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,8,12,1,1,8,0,5,1,0,1,2,18,19,10,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,7,0,1,10,4,19,5,9,9,0,16,0,3,1,0,11,4,1,0,10,62,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.14129906844253956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560694762942674,0.14762818953769466,0.0,0.15317394921327204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590505482668467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824542467165614,0.0,0.0,0.09563575584700727,0.13097539995819285,0.0,0.0,0.13013244214147845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321272093082005,0.0,0.27805188338309056,0.0,0.0,0.12316258386360138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144720665049433,0.11580581776546925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391035261001587,0.0,0.0,0.1941061212967456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436867312350958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512266534094953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591934038156587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167485828496326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012314978049667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854929469213756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275940790899324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395519005092111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563350298667975,0.0,0.0,0.1513712102588468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638076539730252,0.0,0.13330781555011975,0.16558574296162848,0.5043545914796049,0.0,0.18555762532025336,0.1422603879486802,0.0,0.08443115004679261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505642154414395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493156011914467,0.11614584417584944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324325605169237
mentalhealth,captmidnight_,2019/03/10,"(18) I think I need help I’m 18 and from England, and it’s finally sunk in that I need help. What kind, I don’t know, but I feel stuck in a perpetual rut that I can’t get out of alone. 

I’m feeling less and less motivated to do anything with my life. I don’t have dreams, ambitions, prospects.. I find it hard to get out of bed. I don’t see the point in doing much anymore. I feel numb. 

I quit an office job a few weeks ago after 2 days because I couldn’t handle it. I feel so shitty about myself. I haven’t even told anyone that I quit because I don’t want to be a disappointment to my family even more so. 

My Mum’s done so much for me and I don’t want to let her down. I get teary eyed at the thought of it. 

I go out all week and do nothing. I have no friends so I mostly drive to the library and hang out there most of the day, or park in a secluded area and sit there for most of the day. 

I’ve honest to god never felt so bad about myself. I don’t know what to do. 

On the daily I’m suffering panic attacks, feelings of hopelessness, suicide, anxiety and all of that shit. I had a driving test on Saturday and freaked out half way through and failed the whole test. My Mum took me and I felt so fucking low because I disappointed her. I broke down and cried on the way home. 

And yes, I mentioned that I drive to places so yes, I drive without a licence. It’s such a normal thing to me that I do it nonchalantly because I.. just don’t care. I think my mental health is that bad that I don’t care about being in the same category as lowlifes. 

I wanted to be a psychiatrist and now that dreams so far away I just laugh at the thought of it. And then I’m so sanctimonious that I think I’m above low skilled work. The thought of doing that for the rest of my life makes me think of just ending it all. 

Ever since October 2017 I’ve gotten worse. No, the bullying and chastising from others in school wasn’t enough, so I also had to stumble upon a corpse in a forest.. 

Hanging from a tree.. 

I don’t think about it ever, and for some reason it hadn’t got to me as much as others perhaps think it should, but I still have nightmares of him. 

What should I do? Please help ",1.2252399515355847,2.8126568898488173,3.0353126481588824,93.4143955117737,79.4535637149028,6.072148764684192,21.875836274561447,6.914303735213361,0.3553612073960912,1672,49,394,18,41,558,201,463,0.23,0.659,0.111,-0.9972,1,1,0,0,0,2,53.0,0,0,0,6,27,22,3,1,25,2,34,7,2,3,6,72,76,35,1,9,7,2,8,0,1,2,4,0,2,0,28,23,0,0,21,2,0,8,18,16,0,1,15,10,56,6,64,54,18,54,0,8,2,1,11,27,2,5,16,273,84,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905357983296364,0.0,0.0,0.09236462533253306,0.0,0.07131801727476357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822322453116021,0.0,0.08844359305670375,0.062357432079693076,0.0,0.07338836819147995,0.0,0.0,0.10145626748586399,0.08378848961755203,0.0,0.14892482773886473,0.21745565097877947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818519558808621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796114609555756,0.17254311090119928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126313083814733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898789987991282,0.09214781748734807,0.0,0.11780642509662555,0.16133864900235706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407191436788564,0.0,0.2254629779434817,0.0,0.17125550000957496,0.09769343156561718,0.08150982268725855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890102304332296,0.0824464018436457,0.13978018250787358,0.0,0.05068362017392623,0.0,0.07132619633479972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988866331745396,0.0,0.0,0.09479523775267183,0.0,0.0,0.17932844287801866,0.0,0.08945581913440193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849838635512798,0.0,0.0,0.09286829289968083,0.0980230958467252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911936195502016,0.12598236209477212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05952901316946955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987347718728718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19667489935758325,0.13225317002075454,0.06878188869427694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737844973040168,0.08557157927830218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463469394794092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317516874975616,0.0978939626574512,0.08430487533266537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970995210738345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169292595373588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025593794905393,0.07106571447855252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154301980577734,0.07377144869654885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122006558955324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754954452878556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05924789683746552,0.3428615212186175,0.0,0.21239926845908094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521627180231914,0.09908337766696393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578038015971578,0.14157546106577912,0.14307124538311186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956740696105973,0.0,0.08596730614308239,0.0,0.06492483359536133,0.0,0.090883062782046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abicus502792,2019/03/10,"I feel like I'm losing so many important people in my life and I don't know how to cope This is my (26F) first time posting on this sub, so please bear with me.. not even sure if this is the appropriate sub for how I'm feeling but here it goes 

A little background: I've been diagnosed with chronic major depression and generalized anxiety disorder since I was a freshman in college (and more recently symptoms of borderline personality disorder) and should have been treated in high school (my mom never acknowledged that I had a mental illness even when my doctors said so). 

Over the years I've been through my darkest times. Attempted suicide because my mother (not thinking anything of it) told me that I should just kill myself and didn't believe me when I tried. I realized I made a mistake and called 911 for myself (all the while my parents fought me thinking that I was just joking). They threatened me multiple times with taking away my funding for college and kicked me out of the house multiple times throughout those years.

Enter my Aunt: she took me in when my parents couldn't understand how to take care/acknowledge my mental health needs. When I was 18 I lived in her house for months because my parents kicked me out. I literally felt like I was in the middle of a black hole with no way out and when she and her family took me in, they finally started some sort of healing process in me. They got me to therapy and any necessary medications I needed plus just gave me the opportunity to talk to someone (in my family) about their was feeling.

More recently, my parents kicked me out again and I lived with an ex boyfriend for over a year. When that relationship ended, my Aunt was the one that helped me find my own place and support me through that process all over again. Currently I have a better relationship with my parents which I am glad for but we haven't had an easy time recently.

My grandma (my mom's mom) passed away a month ago.. she had been sick for quite some time and we knew what would happen in the end. When I was very young (1-8YO) she took care of me and my cousins and was one of my favorite people in the world. My heart still hurts for her.. 

My biggest issue: last week, my Aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer...and we found out it has spread to her liver also. I looked up some information on the info for this diagnosis (basically 2-8 months left to live depending on treatment). Tomorrow we find out the actual prognosis and I'm honestly in shock.. 

I guess I just don't know what to do with myself or how to handle this at all. I've been texting/calling her daily to check in but I feel like it's not enough. On the mental health side, I honestly just feel numb... My brain can rationalize this and can't even accept this information. I just feel like it's not even real life. After losing my grandma, I'm just worried about losing another important woman in my life... And I'm worried how this will affect my mental stability.. 

I don't know if I'm looking for answers but I knew I need to get this out somewhere (my family doesn't talk about these things much) and I felt like this was the best place to do so. I'm just scared and I don't know how to feel anymore ",5.1193333333333335,6.007441377777778,5.712380952380954,80.82428571428572,68.55555555555556,9.047619047619053,30.23809523809524,9.23628265651192,2.4884285714285714,2548,96,500,48,42,825,269,630,0.118,0.79,0.092,-0.9659,6,0,0,0,0,2,74.0,4,0,4,9,37,28,2,1,23,0,40,18,3,9,5,116,88,47,2,10,19,14,9,5,0,4,15,1,0,2,27,40,0,0,28,1,2,5,15,11,0,3,33,13,94,17,77,50,13,88,0,5,3,0,45,41,0,9,44,344,121,4,0.0,0.0,0.05709468819290527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186319420323465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046788269271626284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03978697251151876,0.06135000880429878,0.04475792684539581,0.0,0.058023523443514136,0.0,0.0,0.04814652543016311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993907469371332,0.0,0.0,0.07133101803316813,0.0,0.0,0.06591769546284773,0.06139980514804293,0.05174495517984068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531349995490639,0.059742498127813126,0.0,0.1193041899432682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050392254558395966,0.11876736246118012,0.0,0.0,0.13410887672110902,0.0598847040439937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364020958528164,0.060453684246159614,0.0,0.15457408800676334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654664354648709,0.0,0.20708135329989455,0.1253928873982326,0.112352372582438,0.06409189089695487,0.10694923044428138,0.04976628225673306,0.0,0.06415023814298126,0.0,0.0,0.03056765114869838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679363515360088,0.0,0.06445239070254262,0.0,0.05173781504142135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438105486169505,0.0,0.06933143605398066,0.039216212088046085,0.061816178158411374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501914522123964,0.06263327820690039,0.0,0.0,0.061066423919325374,0.0,0.0,0.06472966246895133,0.0,0.12861633507408002,0.04769126101521362,0.0,0.0,0.06356835617214544,0.0,0.12397631565785693,0.14291856525171526,0.05863968827745185,0.15498906202205126,0.0,0.0982627985797687,0.1963641202474896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055361024983397816,0.0,0.05931722241203511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893995274478307,0.2358464024492241,0.0,0.0,0.20556913933749413,0.14009991378787198,0.0,0.04300959982599342,0.1301472720515508,0.04512443912791776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792921257274182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32482718193790033,0.0,0.0,0.0811231946353341,0.05108632046678434,0.1222553585049104,0.06422344955605103,0.0,0.0,0.05603382360194663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062229718813625025,0.0,0.06659411997828732,0.0,0.0,0.1733067107597774,0.12562989588889673,0.0,0.0,0.05565384342922375,0.0,0.058576017235711465,0.05921251444574075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048397845846921465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049573048181099526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0414117703764136,0.0,0.04672400795312138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399749363689032,0.06639339438619256,0.0551424409084664,0.060811490123978025,0.08798042144187176,0.09405190827160728,0.0,0.0,0.06690820022942551,0.0,0.03886965253575273,0.07497823500360933,0.0,0.0,0.20469647417316195,0.0,0.0,0.055906235531618935,0.1950113000238137,0.03972261838710037,0.0,0.0,0.06090816605504236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048274652562462265,0.0,0.046440374029749515,0.046931029561731084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883401292671522,0.0,0.04156190957289134,0.0,0.0,0.11303035516884942
mentalhealth,kiwihandsoap,2019/03/10,"Curious about OCD Intrusive thoughts ( trigger warning for symptoms under a spoiler) Hi,

​

To be brief, I was diagnosed for the first time with depression at eight years old and severe anxiety disorder as a teenager. I've gone through much therapy, counselling and in recent years intensive therapy due to post traumatic stress. I recently read by chance on an Instagram post from a friend who has from OCD/Intrusive Thoughts and I had never felt so seen. I thought it was worth a shot to try [Dr.Google](https://Dr.Google) and read an article and again, felt like I was reading something from my psychologist's notes. Any insight on where to look for help, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you VERY much for your time and kindness <3

​

and on that note Happy Sunday Funday, everyone!

​

Symptoms below under spoiler tag

 \>!spoiler text   

Past/Current:

Counting on my fingers of words of a question, even/odd: even - yes odd - no

Counting out pieces of food to be even number

Television, music, anything with a number has to be an even number

Not folding a shirt while trying something on and getting upset, I wasn’t more careful

Getting a bad grade and struggling with it for days, even weeks

Obsessing over a thought, anxiety, eg. Worried about job status/money etc.

Using an online magic 8 ball to comfort me

Constantly seeking reassurance

Neurotic in early 20s, doubting my qualities

Doubting I’m a “good” person

Having taboo thoughts about sex

Using certain dinnerware that matches outfit, mildly upset if it doesn’t

Mismatching socks will upset me enough to want to change out of them

When things are out of order, feels anxious, eg. moving and packing/unpacking

Trouble sleeping because I can’t sleep

Thoughts that are very unlike me around people

Aggressive thoughts such as a sharp fork stabbed in my forehead, or cutting my groin area and having the same thought over and over and it coming back up when I do not expect it (fork thought as early as 6 years old)

Doubting self

Emotional over compliments

Doubting happiness/joy

Triggered by loud noise, sudden noise, different noise

Triggered by certain people (specifically, men) and scenarios

Recently, upset by a truck pulling up to where I was walking and it was going fast with a random man getting out the back seat

Recently, upset by talk of rape in classroom, specifically talk of consent and having to leave 

(Sexually) Assaulted at 11-16 and then again at 27 < 

 

​",9.002436194895594,9.713118496519726,7.9164306264501185,69.01203805104409,60.09048723897912,10.608296983758699,41.60194895591647,10.355215969177356,4.724929392111368,1996,105,295,40,25,613,248,431,0.175,0.7090000000000001,0.117,-0.9806,3,0,2,1,0,0,85.0,0,2,1,1,18,32,4,12,20,1,22,11,5,5,3,64,48,28,0,4,4,0,5,1,1,2,3,1,0,4,12,27,1,1,14,4,1,7,7,19,0,2,20,8,21,13,69,23,7,69,0,1,2,2,15,29,0,8,31,192,33,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749764136540467,0.3083770826917997,0.04314569975359762,0.0,0.09707258187115678,0.07167632632416578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522109474348008,0.05648071087374179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757266744336,0.05297505956613796,0.038676311527429286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468779142655533,0.0,0.06711783508094797,0.054653420309912916,0.0,0.06856297429179507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04091765273571596,0.0,0.054646255993817,0.06439671879775771,0.0,0.06628794123244981,0.07271502409018472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713686141710496,0.0,0.06555704907500719,0.07075946151557502,0.2095286085443916,0.0,0.0,0.06062571490964307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032080385434343016,0.0,0.12183690861733182,0.0,0.0,0.05396744051033688,0.0767195890842669,0.0,0.04901849953841286,0.0,0.09944431169669636,0.0,0.036058027912568964,0.05321579569421589,0.0,0.06994983472647269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753982888134234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04252675701159183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296072132298354,0.0,0.0,0.06606961945650451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718053319583893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03099668618304768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0532789621432433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743343870724018,0.09328074811811618,0.0,0.048933743365343424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315256178101822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056672872187035,0.08797143330710737,0.05539891339402162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152814735907412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107444240412841,0.0,0.1903905853040405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25058250094500634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618838952042252,0.07167632632416578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698435830107885,0.0,0.0,0.09768821365500048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267758981308084,0.06632791005480243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189012024970825,0.0,0.10199156003550802,0.0,0.058412883032979285,0.14511288172612904,0.0,0.042150941676920135,0.0,0.0,0.4533238978051565,0.07399216425039963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615182599582755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959456644062412,0.0,0.1046997815461447,0.03742230634653199,0.0,0.05089284212342221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443285727214883,0.0,0.04507047303232204,0.0,0.3083770826917997,0.12257212497748605
mentalhealth,Scroggsito,2019/03/10,"Self Care Tips: Video 1 Hello friends!  

When was the last time you did something nice for yourself?  If you have to think about it for more than 30 seconds, it wasn't recent enough!  Our western culture tends to focus on ""do do do"", yet often all the things we are doing are not directed at taking care of ourselves. And guess what happens if we don't take care of ourselves?  

Everyone suffers. 

This is the first video in a new series exploring different ways to take care of ourselves so we can fill our tanks and be the people we want to be!  So check out todays video, subscribe to the channel and hit the notifications bell to get reminded of next weeks new tips and I will see you in my next video! 

\-Rachelle",3.4330434782608705,5.486653971014499,3.687753623188408,89.1059782608696,74.5072463768116,6.339130434782609,25.99275362318841,7.1686216300943375,1.1385971014492755,560,20,111,6,12,173,92,138,0.021,0.835,0.14400000000000002,0.9547,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,6,3,0,1,6,7,0,0,7,0,16,0,0,0,1,18,31,9,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,9,0,0,2,5,1,2,3,1,0,2,3,1,11,6,19,24,3,20,0,1,1,0,13,5,0,4,12,75,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6094134813360568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15612206007578924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544006551386071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278632477165512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710468650619178,0.0,0.0,0.11544888840226715,0.0,0.07807076478895078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461348011811588,0.0,0.13214004468789686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180501547518295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886399529579309,0.3178400123557188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359562493850832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475436389300877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907599303573572,0.0,0.1558875948310282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150381568456118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370572417393745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927434351383628,0.09574841260753388,0.0,0.0,0.08713356379352769,0.0,0.14164172725685467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813741158622397,0.11861020985715667,0.11986335987654775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HoorAmjad,2019/03/10,Constantly worried for children all over the world? Im a 19 year old Pakistani and about three years ago i started having palpitations and extreme anxiety after witnessing the terrorism attack on a school in my country where many many young children were slaughtered. Soon after there was a highly publicized case of a 6 year old who was raped and murdered and many other similar cases since. my heart rate goes up and i start sweating and feel like i will cry whenever i imagine a child facing even an implication of danger. I know it might just be empathy but is it this severe for a lot of people? ,6.965982142857143,7.811845776785718,7.085714285714285,72.75928571428572,64.44642857142857,9.971428571428572,34.75,9.957137785484203,3.624039285714286,485,21,80,10,7,156,84,112,0.194,0.79,0.016,-0.9528,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,4,1,9,0,8,4,3,0,1,14,12,7,2,0,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,3,1,7,1,12,6,2,20,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,2,14,56,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473183762389369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713573099347586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18906636001635466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959353068910766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18255311154530665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976764931088004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403120992827981,0.11872694979687773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19693724497109927,0.0,0.17559001391059767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951489859844638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133427824878726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119257323324716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128972392270542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.505475049675973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17630248634278625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3487791907740255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521597823459255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819425828243864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774863028254046,0.0,0.13747498921279638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352618215193721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877512169534548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210648446359421
mentalhealth,HollySki,2019/03/10,"How do I be there without getting too involved or damaging myself Keyboard broken so not really many punctuation keys besides , and .

​

I \[22f, UK\] only recently went to a counsellor for an assessment on my depression/anxiety that I've known about for years but never sought help for. Counsellor looked visibly shocked/sad when I explained how long for but that's a separate realisation and post in itself.

I am a helper/fixer/caring personality type person with a guilt-complex a thousand miles wide. This is important for the next bit.

​

My friend \[24f\] who moved a distance away a couple years ago, has a range of severe mental illnesses for which she has been hospitalised before, briefly because funding here is messed up, and is heavily suicidal. There's a whole bunch of environmental factors that basically boil down to her not having a good, stable support network besides me and one other friend. Anyone else is either a contributing factor or self-destructive themselves.

​

Recently she's been relying on me more when she has meltdowns/suicidal tendencies. Phoning/texting me in the middle of a meltdown and the local mental health team can't get to her quick enough. Which is fine, I understand she needs someone and I'd rather she phone me than do something self-destructive. All our conversations lately swing round to her mental health because she is constantly self destructive and not in a position to get out of her situation.

​

But recently I've noticed she also doesn't really talk to many others except me. And it's beginning to take over my thought processes in that I'm constantly worried about her, worried that she's self harming after I hang up the phone - she's a compulsive liar too in her depressive states. And I'm finding that it's making my depression/anxiety worse. The past few years my own suicidal ideation has gone up, I have no desire to kill myself I just don't want to exist/be alive. Whenever I look up online what to do in a situation where really she should be phoning Samaritans it mostly comes up with 'just listen' or 'be there for your friends', which is not really helpful when I have to make a split second decision as to whether I have to call an ambulance to her near location based on some panicked and worrying rambling and reassurances that I can't fully trust. I talk to people in my immediate support network - I phoned my dad after the last one and he was basically like ''you're a good friend but take care of yourself. If anything happens it's not your fault.''

​

tldr; suicidal friend phones me when she won't phone samaritans, how do i be there without making my own or her suicidal ideation worse. Personal advice/anecdotes appreciated despite knowing it's a very individual case by case basis.",7.150326668216692,8.60072584387352,7.331113694489655,69.00925366193911,64.27667984189723,10.775075563822368,36.62148337595908,10.781019540027769,4.458507277377353,2271,110,357,61,34,734,263,506,0.194,0.715,0.091,-0.9961,0,0,1,0,0,1,75.0,1,2,0,1,23,22,3,0,26,0,33,4,0,6,2,59,60,32,5,6,22,1,1,1,5,2,3,2,0,5,21,16,1,0,7,1,1,5,14,8,0,4,6,5,53,14,59,48,12,56,0,2,3,0,52,26,0,7,24,257,74,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120534866746281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04619479533428614,0.0,0.31294275389107146,0.35095509542822306,0.0,0.0,0.08838041254344288,0.0,0.0,0.0403907585006908,0.05918725553594181,0.047535823036996924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427229018916392,0.0,0.0,0.07042623782253751,0.0,0.04915391544435837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306461790992036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058984709559387685,0.0,0.058895453099119435,0.0,0.0,0.04975958958536271,0.0,0.12484728099963754,0.0,0.0,0.06391607539149667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04975306678355871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04825539746070028,0.0,0.0,0.059686874817753525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0527963300250672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231461823697894,0.0,0.0905397705864894,0.0,0.0,0.0969013883554661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05108155984583479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280337491096315,0.0,0.0,0.07743756797996555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390861547905033,0.0,0.031746233446361564,0.04708633330807616,0.06516164159432793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02822115019021018,0.0,0.0,0.05112036848154244,0.09701640902796366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567612301479754,0.11712965629117618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746411514212049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061395246909979335,0.0,0.042832150660343474,0.0445520696221333,0.0,0.06143392659998322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576604279822876,0.0,0.0,0.0782863648649608,0.04393302406088579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514340267523269,0.040047104021811816,0.1513149869667852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553230767751253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480234195139615,0.0,0.17110844573302536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410467326053135,0.06525821367908277,0.0,0.0,0.12986097011511324,0.0,0.0,0.04894425142182656,0.044470459407994135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159286682844072,0.13110248842132916,0.0,0.0,0.08686445609554047,0.09285893069014856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585910223227373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060135591867375764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04766232497317599,0.03407140110503568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053548902622757424,0.0,0.06449276301122432,0.0,0.11136714856835662,0.0,0.0,0.17599003953424233,0.11773531135603517,0.0,0.0,0.35095509542822306,0.11159665029014193
mentalhealth,GoodApolloXVI,2019/03/10,"Taking a year or two off my career in order to work on my Mental Health. Is this a good idea? Hi all, 

​

To give you some background about myself; I am a 27 year old, college educated male (I graduated in 2015) who has worked in the political sphere for the past 4 years. I recently wrapped up working on a campaign in California and have come to the point in my life where I am reflective on the past 8 years of my life. 

​

My mental health issues began in 2012 when I was in a terrible relationship with someone in College. From there, I developed terrible anxiety issues and severe depression. Being the 21 old college person I was, I tried to self medicate with Alcohol and Drugs. I attempted to commit suicide in 2013-2014. I then spent 6 months out of College trying to get myself back together. Sufficient to say, I was not able to. I returned to University and returned to my old ways. 

​

I felt I was cured by 2015 of my mental health issues, yet I continued to drink and do drugs. I eventually entered the political world and had a new breath of life. I stopped drinking. I began focusing on work and improving myself.

​

But then I had another terrible experience with the opposite sex. I returned to drinking. In 2017, I could honestly say I was a functional alcoholic. I was actually fired from a job in 2018, and I partially blame it on the amount I was drinking. I was able to bounce back and get a job that I thought was out of my league. I was very successful in it. 

​

Over the past two years, I have moved the needle on my career and I feel that I have come to a point where I can get to the next level. However, I see several issues. I still suffer from Anxiety, depression, and some anti-social tendencies. 

​

Today, I set up an appointment with a therapist that specializes in the issues that I am having. And I am sure with consistent help, medication, and self-reflection I can get better. 

​

The issue though is that my career requires me to travel frequently and work long hours. And I feel if I do travel and work consistently, I will not be able to dedicate myself towards good mental health. 

​

I think getting a stationary job where I am currently at will help. But I am also thinking taking time away from politics is a good idea. 

​

Has anyone done anything similar before? Taking time away from your career in order to focus on improving your mental health? 

​

​

​

​",4.739235190097258,6.955142706896553,5.809051724137932,74.60522325375773,71.2844827586207,9.241732979664016,31.07847038019452,9.725611199111238,3.423777144120248,1992,89,333,52,39,659,206,464,0.087,0.835,0.079,-0.5457,5,0,8,0,0,2,106.0,0,3,0,10,12,14,0,0,27,0,37,20,1,0,3,48,58,25,1,2,6,0,4,0,0,2,14,2,0,3,9,25,6,2,9,6,1,6,2,6,0,2,18,7,62,8,67,35,4,84,0,3,1,1,14,38,0,4,36,242,71,20,0.09571483467088543,0.0,0.031134623869297426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681933663488011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02551437290182992,0.0,0.4493969279655648,0.5039840027553516,0.0,0.03345511656086569,0.04881439102680277,0.0,0.0,0.022308679294212683,0.0,0.026255051167228625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995149194198945,0.04906586649183976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027148758191413616,0.0,0.0,0.028217331027620668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549665699322045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0254735023659068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054959364566474975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032649835783039205,0.0,0.12501879861244905,0.07399921384625434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031209158181644374,0.0,0.0,0.032264197545730865,0.0,0.030633750458173518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334508438570333,0.030606130348850038,0.0,0.08028106216236605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695673223794984,0.0,0.0,0.04277042406518063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03141994395520402,0.0,0.0,0.07203359859580775,0.0,0.1998028398033204,0.09498220436958034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676062183519957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028234872237846282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428175081306484,0.16076340163146738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025466222620504173,0.03390990722494865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0308139945873425,0.03393127084453707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043661801886844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137064005265136,0.0,0.027858167247112976,0.0,0.0,0.06032097102175187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031502284037935493,0.034253970719870235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074418549496643,0.0,0.0,0.02542411033042524,0.0,0.06656763146101613,0.07208701268905171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027032956270087564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025479330202687136,0.0266739625371498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034898831327884086,0.0,0.03007003297958985,0.0,0.07196564381435748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03704410009104524,0.0,0.040886800840979946,0.03134644636446185,0.02532896242596708,0.03720805987660277,0.0,0.030242157208712494,0.0,0.0,0.04332272656984891,0.0,0.06233299037601452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02632492089062755,0.0,0.025324660200971398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393630791971673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5039840027553516,0.10272869232321233
mentalhealth,publicclaire,2019/03/10,"People are suggesting I get on disability. I'm just not ready to give up. Can I cancel disability if I get it? I'm unable to hold a job down due to mental and physical health, but... I know I can make it better. I just don't know how.

I know I can do freelance... I'm just stressed on starting how.

I'm unable to do basic things like shower and brush my teeth, but I know my life isn't meant to be like this way. I'm still waiting until I can try different medications.

I just don't feel comfortable even attempting to get disability if there's a chance I can succeed and break that 3k threshold and live the life I want designed around how my brain works.",2.003063725490197,3.767697492647063,3.8402941176470575,87.71549019607845,77.75,7.180392156862746,23.098039215686285,8.07648339933343,1.1333892156862744,513,16,112,9,12,173,76,136,0.066,0.813,0.121,0.784,3,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,11,6,0,1,3,0,12,6,2,4,0,27,31,12,0,3,9,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,1,0,5,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,16,5,12,29,0,11,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,6,67,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300763766903002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17188174736528913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21695252145402685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20304843797391575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836258265013087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826632161047996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046106392805098,0.18643276925449656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065789116491014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285673805305414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42722619693880776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745422646275024,0.18989362453617686,0.0,0.17160958467848178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972633482052146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19578144443630144,0.19585335237947474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473387306370654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755790161668088,0.0,0.15520361555982118,0.0,0.2226207484028941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911372276015934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194702816090828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462930825380616,0.15426146585282474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414849709868546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jacob_Heverly_716,2019/03/10,"What Could Be The Cause Of This Since around the age of five, I've had constant strange mood swings (example: in 10 minutes randomly going from fine, to highly aggressive, to breaking down even in a situation where nothing that would cause that is happening). I never really cared because it didn't impact me much, but now my antisocial self is getting back into talking to people and I'm realizing this ruining many close relationships and I have 0 control over it.

​

If this is important (I've been told this is a symptom of bipolar disorder) my mom is bipolar and there is a pretty big amount of depression in my family, as well as alcoholism which has heavily affected my childhood and obviously affected me a lot. Any idea what this could be, I never really asked any therapists I've had about it so I have no clue.",7.38853046594982,7.7076824193548426,8.103440860215057,67.63960573476703,63.516129032258064,12.308243727598565,37.86738351254481,11.855464076750405,4.919910394265234,665,32,113,21,9,223,104,155,0.123,0.8109999999999999,0.066,-0.7914,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,9,7,1,0,6,0,18,4,0,5,3,24,25,9,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,13,7,1,1,2,0,0,1,4,3,1,1,5,0,10,3,18,15,3,20,0,2,0,0,6,11,0,3,7,84,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631369315668348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847896890565985,0.17772899664266392,0.19893156416727328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020760149400634,0.1367388093838577,0.0,0.0,0.11246939709711334,0.0,0.08916229418356697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912776481204212,0.30051060246098754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806140354335135,0.16404956890367434,0.2335627317228289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597854760518515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676333164525306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660720320581324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378864099912782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641786082328379,0.0,0.08312624357003769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934239303841605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453788307636926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511632187629574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434998066904147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14829059729372393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713047757909893,0.0,0.0,0.10752221678988406,0.0,0.22561845476653805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034601153885776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140231199031953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880493563900854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18740327589297667,0.0,0.0,0.1570347661418228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258716317276216,0.0,0.0,0.12099260849600064,0.16440892454802916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202620463524,0.0,0.1175629360839847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698259055075646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976327148024578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151054965366973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390305116480494,0.0,0.17772899664266392,0.0
mentalhealth,lmg080293,2019/03/10,"How to convince my mom to get help? For years my mom has exhibited signs of mental illness. I’m not sure which one.

She flips out out of nowhere (she will literally be napping, wake up, and start screaming at my father and I). She overreacts to minor stressors. She sleeps more hours than normal. She’s either been fired from or left every job in the past 10 years because she doesn’t get along with the boss, doesn’t like the commute, the people are mean to her, etc etc. In those 10 years, she’s never held a job longer than a year.

Her brother has bipolar disorder. I don’t know if she does too, but she has something.

Anyway. I’m usually tolerant, but at some point, her irrationality makes me snap and I always end up screaming at her to get help. Then again, I’ve also tried to tell her calmly that she needs help. Either way, she gets nasty, tells me I’m a child (I’m 25), tells me to stop talking to her like that. She just threw a chair at me and called me a cunt. We just got a new puppy and she had a meltdown over the stress... it’s been here 24 hrs. She doesn’t know how to channel or cope with her emotions.

I don’t know how to get her help. My father is a helpless bystander. He doesn’t know what to do, either.

Advice, please. We’re at our wit’s end.",1.1720874926600118,3.189062973282444,2.4819847328244293,95.21608338226662,81.48091603053435,5.099471520845566,19.6189078097475,6.093298490706669,-0.19384075161479766,977,25,221,7,26,314,143,262,0.132,0.768,0.1,-0.833,2,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,2,0,0,0,10,10,1,1,13,0,17,4,2,5,2,40,37,15,0,3,11,5,1,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,6,11,0,2,5,2,0,1,8,5,0,1,6,3,37,5,32,29,7,31,0,1,0,0,40,14,1,4,17,136,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099602995567441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998797923628696,0.09363166354819913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859555044029557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490287554427198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896594596948913,0.0,0.09847333078079283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657797964400727,0.19933143870018136,0.0,0.2509951967926141,0.0,0.0,0.09480903827667064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29395414702155354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999829944866566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30169850127326625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081664735108633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233318103359052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473680747390327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222611565752641,0.0,0.0,0.10995023395875443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511279485536758,0.0,0.0,0.12257513386717672,0.0,0.0,0.11340097366790285,0.0,0.0,0.26358104613687805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343750971027147,0.08678793113116184,0.1086794927620565,0.0,0.0,0.11025278632950324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625135824255669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074199666661156,0.07801220763312894,0.0,0.0,0.12352109909390036,0.10637459734369488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260848838691198,0.0,0.0,0.08662895351902437,0.0,0.0,0.07964734731127321,0.0,0.0,0.09407779670612157,0.1288995532670347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605557556963206,0.0,0.0,0.0904451190483668,0.2950612570994865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639859764586443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239328379373831,0.0,0.0,0.08931887156699783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898553679471895
mentalhealth,you741,2019/03/10,"Struggling with Addiction to Wasting Time I'm in first year of university, and I recently got a very terrible score on a midterm when the median was very high. I usually don't get such low scores compared to the average and this made me very sad. I had no excuse for it because I wasted so much of my time on useless things like YouTube and League of Legends. Even though I try so hard every time to not do it when I am not doing it I can't focus. I've improved a little but then I soon fall back into my bad habits. I just feel so terrible and I know if I keep going down this path I'll eventually fail. I often wish I was never born and I Just don't know where else to talk about this. Sorry if I wasted your time.",1.8307591093117423,3.408680355263158,3.7976315789473714,88.66072874493929,77.6842105263158,7.045344129554657,22.87651821862348,7.882392219407189,1.0086380566801625,562,17,124,9,13,191,98,152,0.239,0.71,0.051,-0.9802,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,15,9,0,1,5,0,9,1,0,1,1,22,19,15,0,3,7,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,7,8,0,1,5,2,19,1,15,14,1,26,0,4,0,0,3,9,0,3,16,84,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573367432108254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310077003986569,0.14225583688731866,0.1038588933945433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232627882838134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253094495572953,0.0,0.14354811261098294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614661531305408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492071320617955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890137981907967,0.0,0.09682792203007892,0.0,0.13626428723339326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526223508945223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001032466485306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143694564284638,0.0,0.0,0.1872670627951004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832365186526679,0.17076030320120264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121275009112582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524507756759468,0.0,0.13140354482802316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822455544738502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19072063370615525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781127275950054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694080617484186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318944297462688,0.0,0.16739237060293094,0.0,0.39738765127402415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567330180258042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876437658245056,0.4217311457811001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959226054772294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971578173159112
mentalhealth,jdyoung1276,2019/03/10,"It's Ok You're Not Ok. I’ve been in remission for a year and seven months. No symptoms. For me it’s a milestone that I never thought I would achieve, let alone live to see, but it’s quite a difference on the other side of the fence, it feels like my mind is in the midst of complete silence and I can finally steer my sails in the right direction. My life no longer involves functioning inside of a tornado that never ends. I can see in full color. I notice all of the intricate details in life again, and for once, I wake up and I look forward to the day.

Despite all of this though, I’m not always ok. I’ve been left with this mess of a mind and it’s hard to navigate through it all. Some days I feel like I’m on the right track and other days I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing at all. I get lost inside my head and I get frustrated because I can’t figure myself out. Sometimes I get angry for the moments where I wasn’t in control, the memories where I can truly measure the force that is manic-depression. It’s heartbreaking when I think of how much I lost. It makes me feel guilty. And often it breaks me down because this wasn’t what I had in store for my life.

I receded into myself, and now that it’s over I’m tasked with figuring out what the hell I’ve been doing for the last ten years. I don’t feel like I’m in a crisis but I feel like I’m in shock. Where do I go now that I’ve become present within myself? The lights have been turned back on and I still I feel like I’m roaming around in the dark. I use literature and self-help books, online courses, meditation, and a plethora of other resources trying to find a path for myself. But it seems like I tend to go in circles, despite the world moving forward without me. I feel like I've been left behind.

I never pictured what 29 would look like, but I had to make the decision to find a way through this sickness. I want to say I don’t know what motivated me, but I do know. It was the hunger for something beyond myself. I like to think that I have a pretty good mind despite my mental illness. I know I’m not cured and I never expected that outcome. Whether I like it or not, bipolar disorder is a part of my identity. I've learned to appreciate myself because of it.

It’s hard to look back at my life though, and see where my choices, confounded with my disorder, led me down some bad narratives. I look in the mirror and I apologize to myself for the all the years I didn’t care. For all of the things I could’ve done, the friends I could’ve made, the places I’d have under my belt, and perhaps love that’s still waiting out there. It hurts. It hurts deeply. Now, I glance backward in quiet observance. I no longer ask why it happened, I simply observe my choices and that gives me all of the answers that I need. I’m a guidebook to myself.

If you’re maintaining any type of sanity inside this disorder understand that you’re brave. It’s ok if the days knock you down and you have a hard time finding your way back up. It’s ok if you can’t quite find the right words say that you love yourself. It’s ok if it all becomes too much and you have to retreat into the background. You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. What I really mean with all of this is that it’s ok if you’re not ok, because I’m not ok either.

\-JD Young",2.1127142072957743,3.6694613256150532,3.6057280802435265,90.43106729377716,76.84370477568741,6.617905085084088,24.214806128050302,7.372421405659032,0.9300542242626872,2580,85,566,32,58,852,262,691,0.132,0.726,0.142,0.8209,0,1,1,0,0,0,72.0,0,6,0,9,22,38,2,0,40,9,36,13,2,8,15,115,94,35,0,10,22,0,11,11,1,2,8,3,0,0,52,29,1,3,28,1,1,6,24,10,0,2,16,24,81,28,79,75,16,85,1,5,9,2,15,49,1,10,42,372,133,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251964424068471,0.0,0.0,0.05022828224891627,0.0,0.0,0.041050079179294485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373739832036476,0.05643286399105533,0.0,0.0,0.139250229356319,0.050402019254224224,0.14719109061909674,0.13333617990114235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154585451525476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329125979304975,0.0,0.06770416571160531,0.09639263302119806,0.0,0.0,0.1557210006303777,0.0,0.0519920443568918,0.0,0.0,0.06306828378644126,0.20754959452320576,0.0,0.0,0.06177406611838799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346522418114096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24417772704168664,0.3018719731531309,0.0,0.06612659948703069,0.2206890396916393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04663763245917163,0.0,0.09461422325731177,0.05790733933124459,0.06861332226912109,0.05063106263920472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053380321998592994,0.0,0.16222479520128052,0.0,0.06195161731559876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04046119897311197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924336119857718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269948441071058,0.04920530307421946,0.0,0.0,0.1311728884829671,0.06172701541063672,0.17054954600659278,0.32440268029356223,0.0,0.053303153153860666,0.0,0.2027646441764712,0.0,0.1317904440146342,0.0,0.1089630320900524,0.0571185570442045,0.0805878378644467,0.0,0.0,0.06575487593905581,0.0,0.0,0.06083343921109794,0.0,0.18285347560873974,0.0,0.04818254310368773,0.06415814354786292,0.08875002880983995,0.044759674548736715,0.1862279718403806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872563311961892,0.0,0.06428645605850672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536910859987351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306828378644126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06141262112748256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841061902184056,0.0,0.0,0.038671184967897836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465342159424514,0.0,0.09600889544192404,0.0,0.0,0.14430859772061178,0.05495377339190045,0.0629735673793719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04647171013940074,0.0597022509980996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641468576149287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274205668394275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040103637284851716,0.07735854952851308,0.11861606062353801,0.04792284439068036,0.0351991533162352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04098368202122662,0.06565948053024966,0.0,0.0628418017606453,0.0,0.05213573607220196,0.0,0.0,0.03560467549188052,0.09582940900996427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446977011755195,0.0,0.0,0.05818943537144905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576272941179057,0.0,0.0,0.11661870045532476
mentalhealth,MrReeRee,2019/03/10,"From cleaner to office administrator! 6 months ago I started a new job. I was running errands and doing some office cleaning for a Medical Administration Office. 2 weeks  my office manager came to me and asked me about the skills on my CV and asked why I was doing a job that I was, quite frankly, wayyyyy over qualified for. (15 years retail office experience, accounting qualification etc) I couldn't answer her without telling her my mental woes. 

So I just- 🤷‍♀️

Come last week, she chucked me in front of a computer, handed me some paperwork and told me what to do. Within a week a had proved myself and have moved up the ranks.

We are hiring a new cleaner in a few weeks.

I'm a bit proud. And I just wanted to share.

Don't let your mental illness rule your life,
You can do the thing you want to do.
Do the thing.





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mentalhealth,hereforthighs,2019/03/10,"Mood changes Usually, I wake up very early and have had a good nights sleep. I'm generally in a really good mood, sometimes I can't stop myself from smiling. But, when it gets later in the day, about 6pm my mood just completely drops and on occasion I feel to sad to even get anything done. Does anyone else get anything like this? Is it just tiredness from my day? Should I get it checked out? Thanks for taking the time to read this, and for any responses I may get.",2.7839361702127654,4.57501755319149,3.6797340425531937,89.60875000000001,75.59574468085106,7.253191489361702,24.51595744680851,8.07648339933343,1.267046808510638,366,12,78,6,8,117,67,94,0.032,0.7959999999999999,0.172,0.9105,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,4,0,7,2,2,0,0,12,16,5,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,8,4,13,12,0,15,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,1,10,45,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356389861865626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705057965866326,0.18617563530326428,0.29905127289445704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221710197791889,0.0,0.19051156452969947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343661001315807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900904075185274,0.18594469476601505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178908360773422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001275627348475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187421958838543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.474660159987634,0.0,0.0,0.3048067928726976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877064020075473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051544291451695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18175162387605392,0.0,0.11640324390036308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18183367595007294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970837175280535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191138648075458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366176312148752,0.0,0.0,0.1672872058705837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595216133038833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20011958082280945,0.14992355282503608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rainabo123,2019/03/10,"Hi Lately I've been having a really hard time. I'm currently in the process of getting out of an abusive relationship, and away from the abuser. I was talking to an old friend about how I've been feeling mentally, and they told me they were so proud of me for not killing myself. I instantly started bawling. I have really been needing to hear that. 
So if any of you are struggling right now as well.. for what its worth, I am proud of you! ❤",4.297453183520602,5.063294494382023,5.309606741573036,83.41512172284645,70.34831460674158,8.629962546816481,30.563670411985026,8.841846274778883,2.341200749063671,346,14,71,6,6,114,65,89,0.122,0.695,0.183,0.7267,1,0,0,0,1,1,11.0,0,2,2,2,6,6,1,1,5,0,9,0,0,1,0,8,16,7,1,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,6,3,11,4,15,10,0,10,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,6,52,14,0,0.0,0.4925417155534595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134661725369402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952839752692759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509631289410168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605860869605827,0.0,0.10859419087513232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619473656573826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342645251930634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299576531818509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23446632455088195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20946612090176006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154119765742896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21810590967227392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663108714860318,0.0,0.0,0.2231554663362281,0.0,0.17750463520081686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471188504100977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21729223930298788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706371761005034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120028391939147,0.0,0.0,0.19861167555522985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688408151347796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pileofasilverado,2019/03/10,What is life Feel like I’m in a slump right now with everything my job my vehicle my social life. I’m content with what I have just feel weird....any advice?,-1.6601298701298681,-0.33926272727272355,0.5516017316017319,99.50454545454546,115.66666666666666,4.30995670995671,13.805194805194805,6.18269132825596,-0.5094987012987011,122,3,28,2,7,40,24,33,0.0,0.915,0.085,0.3612,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,3,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,14,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33043400609946605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22995202269465906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30390533712923096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34195526143188065,0.24157277511208264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33555940223979325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4776874229959262,0.1652018793374436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2887762770356548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446989828887665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,miniella,2019/03/10,"i don't know how to spend time away from the internet so I'm a 19 year old who spends most of her free time doing nothing on the internet, which I'm trying to change bc I feel it's not only a waste of time but mainly bad for my mental health.. I don't really have like a ""need"" or desire to be on the internet all the time, but at the same time I never really feel stimulated when doing most other things, hence why I go back to the internet over and over again.. I only think I'm truly away from it when I'm playing volleyball, I can barely watch a movie or tv show without being on my phone.. I think it may be rooted in the need of stimulation, as I often find myself  playing like simple games on my phone while watching movies or series

​

now, I know I'm probably addicted, you don't have to tell me that, but perhaps somebody has any advice on things to do that has nothing to do with the internet, or maybe you can help me with your similar stories, I imagine I'm not alone in this boat...

​",8.067380952380951,5.190605642857146,8.6252380952381,74.78309523809527,64.0,11.809523809523812,34.285714285714285,9.994966539143718,3.0598571428571426,795,23,166,13,9,269,116,210,0.063,0.8340000000000001,0.103,0.7508,0,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,0,0,8,6,0,0,12,0,17,2,0,4,2,35,32,14,0,3,10,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,8,5,3,1,7,1,0,0,0,4,21,6,29,28,5,27,0,0,2,0,10,12,0,8,16,115,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838261160417056,0.0,0.12404364857727325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147086768893926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750774318908421,0.3084903713508076,0.08632310042624132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23852736678584735,0.09760851276803197,0.10598904208599688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342849843941045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836868329295828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602025207469745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214254914035463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349305766710381,0.0,0.0,0.0850847601795565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952507703169173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403229381100955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752762335722953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279249927718046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18824781624613093,0.09790344036328302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436034301385004,0.0,0.1332014781111033,0.0,0.0,0.19308616805477394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686207244529633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264117635463093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095057347047274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866570676647885,0.16267519998223226,0.0,0.0,0.3700967339630182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618347563967574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454300527691523,0.0,0.0,0.12236498866120353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084903713508076,0.08174476957777674
mentalhealth,mmbb420,2019/03/10,"Hello! So for a week now I’ve been feeling like I’m a worthless child, with no rights to anything. 




**I know, that this is complete and utter bullshit, with no evidence to back it up or even to speculate about it. I’m not even a child too.**



It’s really fucking disruptive. 


I’d appreciate advice and insight!",0.07393442622950985,2.3862712295082003,2.6512950819672128,86.9189098360656,99.0,5.718688524590164,24.1327868852459,7.1686216300943375,1.603936393442623,239,11,46,5,10,82,45,61,0.219,0.6759999999999999,0.105,-0.8221,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,7,3,1,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,7,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,8,6,0,5,0,1,0,1,3,2,1,1,4,31,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255088672963822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741191518295178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256139163867095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492569550173857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400288236863083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842919881137133,0.23797211831976986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079525856987173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306721184411973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273953535574606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21339724241490388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844720491983714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671988041298657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,watertribeguy,2019/03/10,"Medications and psychiatrist Sorry if this is long...

Last April I started therapy and also started seeing a psychiatrist last summer. I was diagnosed with ""general mood disorder"" and was put on lamictal for that. I was also put on seroquel for *sleep* and an anxiety med. I stopped the lamictal after a month with no changes.  I had been begging to be put on an ADHD medication because It hadn't been medicated in 15 years. I fought hard to be put on one...and then i was put in cymbalta for it.

The psychiatrist didn't warn me of any of the nasty af side effects associated with it. I've yet to find anyone else with ADHD being treated with cymbalta. However, I have found many people whom had nasty side effects on it and coming off of it. 

I stopped the seroquel last month before going into the hospital for surgery. It put me to sleep but I dont stay asleep. I have been having terrible night sweats and terrors since about Aug and wondered if it was that. It wasn't. Turns out it may be the cymbalta and the shrink didn't mention it when I told her months ago about the night sweats.


My wife went to my appointment on Friday with me and was blown away by how shitty this doctor is. When I mentioned that I'm still smoking as much weed as I have been even with all these medications her response was ""what's the issue with that?"".  Why would I continue taking pills if they're not helping?  I dont want to just smoke to be baseline. I'd love to actually get high and enjoy it.

There's very shitty limited mental health care where. I live. Even my and my wifes therapists have no good suggestions for psychiatrists.

I'm just so frustrated ",2.894753766811608,5.26728618495298,4.292191323692993,82.61790878754175,77.43260188087773,7.752492668621702,25.96430377186773,8.654491914285503,2.0851030640105166,1299,50,249,29,31,429,171,319,0.149,0.789,0.062,-0.9745,1,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,3,16,10,2,1,13,0,33,14,5,3,1,43,51,24,0,5,7,2,1,0,0,2,8,0,0,0,20,22,0,3,5,0,0,9,9,4,0,0,21,2,26,5,42,23,2,50,0,0,1,1,12,16,0,5,24,169,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.08397320849582371,0.0,0.2068327789712575,0.0,0.07627887913798602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376296540031981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05851752315099845,0.0,0.06582865835313004,0.0,0.0,0.06016874928387115,0.0881692563184123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084759837816499,0.0,0.0,0.0524557943926464,0.0,0.07322292832509243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773456807998052,0.0,0.09103038056224308,0.07412518064444887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733979294847126,0.0,0.0,0.09862171965974408,0.08807668274510097,0.0,0.0,0.2017018911497524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718844364201967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136715387286823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864891035241282,0.0,0.0,0.09435030636189197,0.0,0.0,0.04495801315990408,0.0,0.048904676368753563,0.07217536334604058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708465203679922,0.0,0.0,0.09146802078629697,0.0,0.0,0.057678065303720265,0.09091743875319556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981472200261664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104287630643508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598446972729728,0.07615228702408322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776642442647076,0.0,0.0,0.08724204724911575,0.0,0.0,0.0955830863320334,0.3467486799366873,0.0867190090387412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060548825664277,0.0,0.06325726977100618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615057713442275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058310277335159776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05965681880899296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5190291797377089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857137977834839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711821454619537,0.0,0.17222597313602406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632687217376933,0.1218144572836769,0.09171874780129746,0.06872031332146833,0.14388471349099466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469952378342955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840663686545953,0.09991165955767492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222526685234847,0.0,0.0,0.0935986056258187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100095635857816,0.05075501592286365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976999234317465,0.07764750026331597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331846711801868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112804900969165,0.0,0.0,0.05541392075378295
mentalhealth,Midi242,2019/03/10,"Do I have Social Anxiety? Sup guys Im a 17 year old guy from Hungary

I want to talk a bit about myself just to give you the context

So, Im a high schooler, I have like buddies from my class,but I dont have any real friends that I would spend my freetime with regularly, we meet up sometimes for a move but thats it, in school I dedinetly put on a mask, and I try to be the nice guy making sure that I wont offend no one and also I want everybody to like me, 

I never had a friend or a girlfriend or anyone(including my own parents) to be open towards and talk about any intimate stuff, and I feel like thats one of the problems Im strugling with

The other one is that sometimes I have a really weird feeling( only in social enviorment) that I just wannago home and hide under my bedsheet or just go to the locker and lock myself just to be separated from everyone, and I start to feel like everyone thinks Im fkin stupid and ugly and they only dont tell me to fk off becuz they are empathetic

And dont even get me started on the constant self- loathing and the lack of motivation to even do shit I actually like to do

Do yall think this is like some normal teenager thing that I will grow out, or I have some mild Social Anxiety?

",4.841627906976741,4.539841612403105,6.2110232558139575,81.16769767441862,68.92248062015503,9.205581395348837,30.37829457364341,8.841846274778883,2.198785736434109,968,34,208,15,15,330,138,258,0.135,0.715,0.15,-0.1599,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,2,2,1,10,15,3,0,15,0,22,1,1,2,2,43,35,18,0,6,9,1,3,6,3,3,0,0,1,4,12,16,0,0,6,0,1,4,6,5,0,3,1,3,31,10,30,28,5,21,0,0,0,0,21,11,1,6,12,143,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.09032039092504336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401625098715585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588123430406528,0.0,0.1416087407645386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104615798925873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000191430513234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254215359629652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222634933085402,0.0,0.0,0.17688065941625836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039586349814134,0.13224271197538656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301562521567748,0.0,0.04835620070439168,0.08878725079241975,0.052601175622677666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749321935942582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778950640549487,0.09284027535152001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999014052202893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713063738686349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617812237094861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837138517062896,0.0,0.0,0.07138417095013239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068431110748976,0.0,0.0,0.09712096989657272,0.0,0.18815311948410024,0.14078459324190573,0.0,0.0,0.10277144506538184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856269610915199,0.0,0.09304340288038797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534792535210953,0.059293143802450765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367066572505864,0.0,0.0,0.09655511692951868,0.0,0.09500644281741992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830446950689182,0.0,0.0,0.18307864921640954,0.0,0.13102190090463053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595340431074683,0.0,0.0,0.08723205217596193,0.0,0.0,0.14878450852794878,0.0808972051875079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061489471670081584,0.1186110951953194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283881276603671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918274915713944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574846170508232,0.0,0.0,0.059602426474152974
mentalhealth,themonsteroffashion,2019/03/10,"Any medication i could get in Switzerland that help BPD without numbing me, zombie-ing me or just fry my brain? Any medication i could get in Switzerland that help BPD without numbing me, zombie-ing me or just fry my brain? I saw what certain pills did to some of my associates that went on meds that where also prescribed for BPD... And I don't want to become a zombie, or just... A plain different person.... 

What helped you guys? If more info is needed i thought I'd leave a small summary of me and why:

Hey... Im 25, Born Female... Diagnosed with BPD, anxiety, depression, ADHD.... Abandonment issues that are  really bad but i wouldn't call PTSD on it...

I started struggling more and more and now It almost cost my the love of my life because i became mentally abusive to him, through my distancing and stupid behaviour.... Not gonna lie im surprised he's still with me....

Im in therapy but i want to do more.... I haven't talked with my current therapist about it (will talk on my next appointment) but.... I want meds... ",1.6208828073272985,4.174706634517765,3.20424188920768,87.3453652615317,84.17766497461929,6.674817920988746,24.301258000441408,7.893859768569023,1.6133987640697414,785,31,154,16,23,258,114,197,0.14,0.778,0.08199999999999999,-0.8909999999999999,2,0,0,0,0,0,58.0,0,1,0,0,8,10,1,1,4,0,10,10,2,0,1,34,22,13,0,8,13,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,10,8,0,1,2,0,1,1,6,7,0,0,4,1,27,3,21,13,5,15,0,2,1,1,13,8,0,6,6,97,37,0,0.0,0.12028367983182135,0.0,0.0,0.12200637901018987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165683836222772,0.0,0.0,0.08118488671318842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380731070540887,0.0,0.07766192844974909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476431153561477,0.06188517665122292,0.11212000689002123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5114396348534911,0.22665805669783465,0.10366247818041584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621096792558015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743835882868363,0.10303987534416394,0.0,0.10606598176009432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607920892257808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051999253799693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20413858763648146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32897454794982706,0.10595969427910512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749419994198124,0.0,0.0,0.07170603015448078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162506318804184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255299438704605,0.2045398755267775,0.10230750016310544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527521821189469,0.0,0.0,0.10796684637899467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864267057222927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867054013965972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503581440927189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185582922684698,0.0,0.08107338338245881,0.0,0.0,0.10612993505693542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319461345880698,0.0,0.0,0.11609608007243208,0.11787164359692436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805949240072156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796360056704645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410933767721393,0.0916053093077324,0.0,0.0,0.19572181832749266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LiiViiEE,2019/03/10,"ADHD Problems I have a whole bunch of problems ADHD, OCD, TERRIETS, DYSLECIA, I didn't know til I turned 19 and I don't know how to deal with it. I find something I like and can't stop thinking about it, them the next day I find something new. I hate school and working I can't read very well I'm awkward and have a hard time making friends. Id did hard drugs drank alote and smoked from 14-18 and have been on alote of medication trying to fix my fucked up mind. My family looks down on me for what I've done and have shun me, I feel so fucking alone and lost. If anyone has any stories or anything that would be great I need some possitivity in my life :) ",1.8289130434782628,3.4840960217391337,3.003695652173913,94.01032608695655,77.91304347826087,5.759420289855073,22.369565217391305,6.42735559955562,0.22236521739130444,513,15,118,4,12,165,95,138,0.177,0.721,0.102,-0.8290000000000001,0,1,4,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,4,11,3,1,5,0,14,6,0,2,0,28,28,13,0,5,2,0,3,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,4,9,1,1,6,1,0,0,4,7,1,0,6,4,17,4,14,20,5,11,0,1,1,2,3,5,2,5,7,70,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33955252441482137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631068076497514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960668459189705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877762515128242,0.0,0.1162512387363528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110594713208242,0.14564074356986534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445658524960114,0.0,0.0,0.16382562388377514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317456742876504,0.0,0.07142916819387637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582321446867749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914303555693702,0.2611993311711664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574808226780884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530961322757316,0.1394725571274507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527401136951546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978151860684978,0.0690162378302192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862924639461507,0.0,0.1542103271402772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429725298765958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231229473831458,0.0,0.0,0.1426400550924584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474817209184872,0.0,0.1364371761600324,0.15023974786610547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703481238747832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130587850994947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429704031913197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21750947656172576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810608050999465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051860564764977,0.0,0.0,0.08237430245480717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591146094332396,0.1536586366050353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165606055642274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270165824431458,0.0,0.0,0.15772028568327714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028445313093713,0.0,0.0,0.10035248502210617,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OmegaThree3,2019/03/10,"Self Created Brain Fog - As simple as hypochondria?  

Hi Everyone! I would love to share my recent experience and get your opinions.

This crazy story starts when I realized that WiFi caused my teeth clenching at night (daily jaw pain). I forgot my night guard on a trip once, stayed in a hotel that didn't have WiFi and was surprised when I woke up with no jaw pain! I then turned my WiFi router off at home and my night clenching got so much better. I had figured out that for me, WiFi was causing a physiological effect - at night at least.

CURRENT ISSUE: I just started a job where I will need to work from a 'tech' room, lots of WiFi, lots of electronic devices. I got concerned: ""Oh no! What if the room is filled with so much WiFi and electromagnetic fields? What if it's bad for my health or worse, I get symptoms during work? Fast forward to when I started to be around this room for just a little bit, prior to my job new job start date, I started to get strong brain fog when in the room or even looking at the door! This was for short stints of 2-25 mins.

Now that work as started, I've spent a full week in the room and whenever I am there I have full brain fog. My anxiety is high and I am tense.

My anxiety mind says: 'See, you are reacting negatively to all the dangerous EMF & WiFi'.

My rational mind says: 'Nope, you are manifesting anxiety through a symptom of brain fog. The room might have higher EMFs but it won't give you any symptoms if your only there for 8 hours a day and you don't sit feet from the WiFi routers etc.'

Interesting enough when I was in this room prior to knowing I would work there I had zero brain fog. Did I create this fake symptom? Do I just need to ignore it, be productive until it fades away? I am a bit of a health a nutrition freak so I would worry about this more than the average person.",3.2370684957248907,4.7558062425068135,4.071402799962417,88.41288828337878,73.7683923705722,7.241905477778822,24.3717936671991,7.873277556716777,1.0975115850793946,1429,43,305,20,29,458,187,367,0.105,0.846,0.049,-0.9583,4,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,6,0,7,19,13,1,0,20,0,28,18,9,4,1,42,50,26,0,8,9,0,0,0,0,6,8,2,9,2,16,11,0,3,4,1,1,3,7,7,0,1,13,4,39,6,45,29,13,63,0,0,2,1,14,29,0,9,31,195,55,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198778097846071,0.0,0.05145779791878277,0.0,0.17366068912686844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736182338096994,0.0,0.0,0.0710939075262542,0.0,0.06318080192134341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692344953338276,0.16522280884920595,0.0,0.0,0.4223604700099997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546666934048184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880051355778126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818673477817817,0.08439140151404627,0.049978935830248136,0.0,0.0,0.07230537004425384,0.0,0.07401920899266402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860244067624283,0.07258899921500171,0.0,0.0,0.1210394895425698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608661021932533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07994889289116162,0.07590259428538795,0.0,0.07451913264119639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897921111624225,0.2252706591730781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04158593228839155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758406342309142,0.0,0.0,0.06354325188713357,0.0,0.0,0.12866286359849088,0.06829460256846359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080273292786693,0.1528090791335605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125145527335333,0.11221582680898316,0.0,0.0730819938168274,0.0,0.28404248495287154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058545880812601,0.0,0.057550000912932386,0.16103518812984152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607161563330563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471441979878972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035071402610095,0.0,0.0,0.06029872786210284,0.0,0.07893970411796566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213552140774104,0.08065352967083736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314597987472786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230659594639804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069744147054211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22035294522455032,0.0768459653632931,0.07711359985866167,0.1612601468961776,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rerothe,2019/03/10,"Church and Mental Health I am a Christian and believe that Mental Health is really important. There's loads of information about mental health out there, but I aim to put it into a Church context, with resources and personal stories. My hope is to work towards Mentally Health Churches, so if you might be interested check out [rachel.rothe.uk](https://rachel.rothe.uk) Thanks :)",8.9835,12.21081701666667,6.003333333333334,73.39500000000002,62.16666666666666,8.8,33.66666666666667,9.3871,3.5875666666666675,311,13,42,6,5,86,46,60,0.0,0.752,0.248,0.9501,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,2,0,5,4,0,0,0,12,7,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,9,5,0,5,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,0,30,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537866085270964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6618490735734563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15460827528936133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6274859267764706,0.16513362274339916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591874546655994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648409995007098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099721570298375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331338458678566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332436624905655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tatortots02134,2019/03/10,"I need to come clean about my narcissism. I am in school and am severely fucking up my career path and relationships. should I just go to therapy? Tell my current girlfriend what has happened? Or keep powering through? I feel like I have finally come to a place where I cannot continue unless I get help with some of the issues I have. I realized I had this problem 9 or so months after reading some articles about narcissism and finding so much in there true to myself. I broke up with my girlfriend at the time because I realized and knew I had a problem. I spent 3-4 months with myself, trying to be free of everyone and just work on myself. I have a girlfriend now but am realizing I was again, in the same exact cycle, for all of the wrong reasons, and I have now gotten myself to a point in school where I am not sure I can continue without fixing some of the things I am thinking about and realizing. I literally cant study because I cannot stop thinking about this, and how strange it feels and how weird I feel.",6.5451845184518485,6.049195138613862,7.168847884788481,76.3731368136814,65.43564356435644,10.513771377137717,35.1953195319532,10.018931242160765,3.36960792079208,806,34,157,16,11,267,108,202,0.104,0.833,0.063,-0.8213,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,16,10,1,0,9,0,19,1,0,3,4,50,35,17,0,4,8,0,3,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,14,0,2,12,1,2,3,5,6,0,0,6,3,31,5,30,27,6,27,0,1,0,1,6,12,1,5,13,125,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879396203088455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26557711053548083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472991269215268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338321010891619,0.1101264325901699,0.0,0.1688663077042959,0.14089240779288462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425113156506322,0.08053821337511707,0.0,0.08760830347237089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631636814678078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332503605025573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089494923064782,0.0,0.137017645454439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531102633640444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460857873485121,0.0,0.11331967612145938,0.11430197581192016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105634190900495,0.0,0.1457237481655683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950058611890387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541940139381511,0.0,0.0,0.15849423651385242,0.0,0.16550187831204274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120207110261618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414821918764284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288782237255348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528671667662496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473590310932804,0.0,0.17628658742567424,0.0,0.10241193719833508,0.19754913649842196,0.0,0.0,0.08988744470363758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465929161242946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859731446649635,0.0,0.1122247089887576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16854133877965385,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BushWhacker_64,2019/03/10,"I’m not OK with what happened. I went out and got trashed with my friends the other day, the plan was to crash at their house. They’re married, I’m single. He went to sleep early, his wife stayed. I told her no and to stop over and over again but she wouldn’t. Eventually she had her way. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t stay there. I got home and told him the next day. We haven’t had a chance to talk about it and I don’t want to lose my friend. That shit was so wrong. Any advise please? ",-0.8175088214537745,1.169000954128446,0.4543119266055058,106.73929428369793,89.91743119266056,3.720818630910375,12.971771347918134,4.713530739802397,-1.7606152434721245,380,5,102,1,13,118,73,109,0.172,0.713,0.115,-0.7618,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,1,2,4,6,1,0,4,1,10,2,2,0,0,16,21,7,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,9,0,1,1,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,11,0,16,3,13,8,1,15,0,1,0,0,16,4,1,0,6,60,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157243131516547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305888445522701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762406544494281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859637532888979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580892329442493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17932487015801707,0.0,0.0,0.20628116092383386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824949961494964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20000234594912092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901281472659764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962401363339612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350891310804332,0.0,0.0,0.1789030803280809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810985348307917,0.0,0.14946304547997386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369174677842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416523826883034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544552050264262,0.14190245765363968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314505260288485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19546127386831771,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ironwolf9876,2019/03/10,"Have any of you ever had burnout? What did you do to get through it? I had been a pastry chef for over 13 years. The job was very stressful and it took a toll on me mentally, physically and emotionally. It affected my relationship with my wife and every aspect of who I am. 

I have done all I thought I could do to help improve my situation. I changed careers, My wife and I improved our relationship significantly and in the past year through healthy eating and exercising I have lost 100 pounds. 

But I still don't feel any better. My anxiety is still running rampant, I'm still exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally and I don't know if this is burnout or depression. If it's depression shouldn't I be feeling sad? Because I'm not. Just exhausted. 

I thought the daily exercise would help with my anxiety but it's done next to nothing and now I don't know what to do anymore. I am really hoping you guys may have some insight to help me through this. I have plenty of time now but the lack of money does make it hard to do the things I want to do so I just end up just watching netflix or youtube which is fine but it's SO unfulfilling. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

​

Thanks so much all!",2.8807617829740586,5.229903886554627,4.360778224333213,82.22859517720133,77.36134453781513,7.836609426379247,29.675557179393486,8.716276077567194,2.5401145049324074,967,46,190,22,23,321,127,238,0.098,0.7659999999999999,0.136,0.9365,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,3,0,4,12,12,0,1,7,0,32,5,0,2,3,44,47,20,0,9,12,2,3,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,14,11,1,0,7,3,1,2,5,7,0,0,11,4,29,5,21,29,5,18,0,4,1,0,13,4,0,7,12,138,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121144415276493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431169595148522,0.13941151400068408,0.23406437103938274,0.0,0.1755387979999616,0.0,0.11378296850276055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993934956431062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147082176311192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213708739106896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916038875442535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976364058202323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040244097515227,0.2348206259545025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739912178691353,0.0,0.2581153298907261,0.10161818865017383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378134686332534,0.09666636432430968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602354011752715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05994255228642961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649205029365174,0.0,0.11360237259947993,0.0,0.0,0.1027770237257284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307066217284588,0.0,0.0,0.11395441710374865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385346025839027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610702982318087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252431501717447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658426796522792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312450381222851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434096469652377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201841246756001,0.0,0.0,0.11008811348847083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095243430605188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350003351860533,0.0,0.0,0.2463577121587101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896318282012348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27487453414104984,0.0,0.1314247186116431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562948958060248,0.0,0.0,0.07622261089494678,0.0,0.0,0.1821682305285401,0.06690094836032255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274710858139741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466562776635967,0.06767170036927214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630041461529165,0.0,0.13941151400068408,0.14776684327065084
mentalhealth,garshgoofy,2019/03/10,"What diagnosis would you label me as & do you have any tips on how to get better? * feel disconnected
* ashamed to be seen by familiar people
* fear of intimacy - feel unattractive
* obsessive thinking about sad times 
* poor habits and pick at myself out of stress
* always hungry
* feel powerless a lot
* extremism such as wanting to meditate really hard or believe one certain belief system
* questioning myself and thinking I'm weird compared to other people
* obsessing over things such as my appearance ex) pimples or eyebrows
* never feel good enough
* wonder what people think of me
* scared to go for opportunities when they present themselves
* guilt about past 
* feel alone yet figure people will reject me
* excess computer use or shopping out of boredom
* feel stressed in body and kind of numb/disconnected
* tired even with a full night of sleep

I don't have the money for therapy :/",5.372723509933773,8.633222675496693,5.282677980132451,73.99765935430464,73.90066225165563,8.013410596026489,29.305049668874172,8.841846274778883,3.0779168874172207,708,30,104,16,16,220,113,151,0.289,0.67,0.042,-0.9899,1,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,1,2,8,16,0,8,3,0,7,3,2,3,2,31,24,11,0,2,3,1,7,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,13,1,3,2,2,11,0,1,1,8,10,5,26,20,3,17,1,2,1,0,5,7,0,7,7,67,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375894461667127,0.0,0.0,0.11549593625668088,0.15039393133867127,0.0,0.09439138899331548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638442538384167,0.0,0.12276074012437024,0.0,0.15417980456670574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342149868543735,0.0,0.09167864471913063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561929395611453,0.4211004328888284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251929131711199,0.0,0.07888543605654058,0.11642209769799115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434100050756736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445428672237314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800608360745732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705409881577042,0.0,0.0,0.13025802585903135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940570921986684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250399653935332,0.38491649592023547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15549209721396812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889213111427678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896688487606004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890410897165054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179987201654374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587343181959854,0.0,0.09221512120518956,0.26681973895634903,0.0,0.0,0.08093765077520151,0.1595346256443215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988197446708612,0.0,0.0,0.08187011673366085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052687222026634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860228426940534,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SlickWaffle736,2019/03/10,How did you’re parents/parent react to you’re hospitalization into a mental health institution? Just wondering. It’s interesting to see how some parents react with disappointment and anger whereas others react with support and love. ,6.539736842105267,10.479052447368424,7.247684210526316,56.63678947368422,77.15789473684211,8.303157894736843,31.28421052631579,8.841846274778883,4.1204568421052645,195,9,22,5,5,64,29,38,0.157,0.628,0.215,0.3818,3,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,5,0,13,5,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,3,5,4,1,1,0,1,1,1,2,1,0,2,0,15,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3936383802870875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342329598451334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732007095448748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112023198820188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951012456371373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4202406589492801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016018924585047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cobra_11,2019/03/10,"How to treat my unwillingness to open up? In spirit to make this as short as possible, not going to talk about adhd, high functioning depression and commitment issues. They re not relevant anyway, I think. 

By unwillingness to open up I mean unability to tell (in this case, to parents) a single bloody thing about myself or about my plans. 

I missed a concert I really wanted to see because I couldnt force myself to tell my parents I need a ride to the place of event, nor that there was a concert occuring. And I never tell where am I going when leaving the house. 

And now friends invited me to go with them to a neighbour city, and it seems I will decline because I cant tell parents. 


What to do? This may seem trivial, but thats something that has really been making me troubles lately, cause they started to think theyre doing something wrong. Its completely my fault. 

",6.476084337349397,6.892595042168676,6.806891566265062,75.82696385542171,65.44578313253011,9.77253012048193,32.86506024096386,9.642632912329526,3.082809156626507,691,27,124,13,10,224,104,166,0.12,0.8370000000000001,0.043,-0.9243,3,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,3,1,9,7,0,0,7,0,10,0,0,4,2,26,25,11,0,3,4,3,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,10,7,0,0,5,2,0,4,6,5,0,0,2,3,21,2,26,20,1,20,1,2,1,0,13,10,0,4,6,91,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808606008675322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037167620141374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351282778058203,0.0,0.0,0.13791766035863098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329559781889685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016278262506798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22427240920149374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138979708701479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178001965669258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729405570819872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838335838484815,0.13928234481564478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17560854512878105,0.0,0.0,0.1432861136962625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753557777741416,0.10145210513086822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4381803126847842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743177448358115,0.0,0.0,0.14829209434454982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16853636257226198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482070895907618,0.2394989728082988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20253253154535708,0.0,0.0,0.09310500835198203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572723196271866,0.4598886087062554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738963080025924,0.16857161943996274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758596617802971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381883375578616,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Matturr,2019/03/10,"I’m lost My father recently passed away unexpectedly. It’s been super hard on my family but I’ve been ok. The only thing I’m concerned about is my brother. About 4 months later, he has started to act kind of crazy. His personality has changed and all my friends wonder why he’s acting strange. I’m just scared that this is going to be a permanent thing. He’s a spiritual kid and started having explanations for everything in life. I feel like he’s a completely different person and just want an answer on how to get him back. He smokes all of the time so I’m wondering if that may be it. Please help",2.2181129476584047,4.4927614380165295,4.238367768595044,82.63512741046834,79.24793388429751,7.669696969696971,24.13292011019284,8.59863814320734,1.7978754820936642,478,17,96,11,12,163,83,121,0.097,0.742,0.161,0.8466,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,7,7,0,1,6,1,10,1,0,1,2,16,23,7,0,2,4,2,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,3,2,7,5,12,17,2,15,0,1,0,0,14,4,0,4,8,54,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711703059550623,0.14009024808732307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272926351085212,0.0,0.19101918166640072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903462183780594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373756674429718,0.0,0.1717493103201163,0.0,0.09211901799943856,0.13015414195144515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407569136139652,0.0,0.09518497793486544,0.0,0.10354084208559083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320340663504465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211583625222762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897193060970603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286837820035502,0.08900716913963087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988781930510058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541960429239573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856111735513962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31815662006541784,0.0,0.1999861748996035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17988728628386344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18240056721960168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579052234237821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420733605571165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062344703487128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745837574090493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439506730365838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951471877527707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrazyBirboLady,2019/03/10,"What kind of therapy would be a good option for me? I hate my mother. 

I’ve recently come to accept that I hate my mother. She is narcissistic, mentally and physically abusive, and has made my life hell for what I can remember. 

I can’t remember most of my childhood, and what I remember is her calling me names/fat/stupid etc. I suffer (diagnosed and treated by a psychiatrist) clinical depression, anxiety, and also self stem issues. 

I’ve tried cognitive-behavioral (the most common type where I live) three times with different professionals and it has not helped. My psychiatrist was also one of these professionals that has not helped with this particular topic. 

I’ve come to irrationally hate people for being like my mother. I don’t want to hate my mother either. 

Thanks in advance. ",4.571076458752515,7.410210514084508,5.982615694164995,70.23577464788737,74.14084507042254,9.972635814889335,28.45271629778672,10.125756701596842,3.731449094567404,631,26,101,21,14,212,88,142,0.225,0.6970000000000001,0.078,-0.9774,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,3,13,5,0,3,0,12,3,0,1,0,23,21,8,0,2,3,4,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,8,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,7,0,2,2,0,19,6,13,16,4,9,1,2,0,0,10,2,1,3,5,72,27,3,0.0,0.16016410711548015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21620397563276544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341098180910233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380320944816312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23288816448603966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642881801604267,0.13720306574310845,0.0,0.141232487131127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507594677418011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338109225930874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5338420946003386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18121424653412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109095970601007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076733273293088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548038695312508,0.06604125880306927,0.0,0.11936486043194908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790891694485013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362278692982393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160027227720656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371556946447096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334722016629649,0.0,0.459391775531153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102038315525495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244539594662923,0.15458809566191178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882351745284848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917771500370757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973162691793474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960267415789824,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Atomicbobb,2019/03/10,"Concerned about my friend One of my close friends is in a really bad spot with depression/anxiety etc and it's been getting worse as time goes on (alcohol abuse, stress-induced illness). I make myself available to talk as much as possible but I'm not a professional, and every time I ask her about seeking counseling she says that it would probably help but her parents wouldn't let her (or something like that; probably more complicated than I know). Obviously *that* made me even more concerned. I really want to help because I care about her but I don't want to overstep and make things worse. Any advice? ",5.1049459193706985,7.1312496814159285,5.388082595870205,78.79553588987221,69.88495575221239,9.270009832841692,32.024582104228124,9.725611199111238,3.286678269419862,486,22,87,12,9,154,78,113,0.092,0.716,0.192,0.9037,1,0,2,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,3,1,19,16,10,0,4,5,1,0,1,2,2,2,1,0,0,6,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,15,4,14,11,4,5,0,0,0,0,13,3,0,1,3,57,21,1,0.0,0.1885873648714838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555365602116589,0.0,0.1701015655540018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823930335086167,0.0,0.12176264026552708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488000512205282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289814686412765,0.0970269815953276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228179214389407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17751374676196602,0.10512857944332812,0.0,0.13410541577252766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24594470696468124,0.0,0.08315840730152058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337313238602668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874742511756143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275947037259894,0.0,0.07776116131616582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506080608485054,0.21249097695771654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700636737859615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078559627458454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673658317281116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943735015440812,0.0,0.0,0.3432187978301757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20393344930690654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657632050757692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253485575611407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18232574127927112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279327426482458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574376099467968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856236046146867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877621358264518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32441039706955604,0.11306796808424832,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Icantthinkofaname55,2019/03/10,"Treating Social Anxiety So I’ve had pretty bad social anxiety for most of my life. Whenever I get to know someone and I feel comfortable around them, I have no problem acting as myself. However, around strangers or people I don’t know very well, I’m generally a very quiet and reserved person. I hate this about myself.

I’ve tried therapy before, but I generally find it pretty useless. I’ve got a great core of very supportive friends and family who I can always talk to, and I tend to talk to them about my problems. However, this has never done anything to help my anxiety. 

I’ve been researching prescription benzodiazepines for a while. I know it’s generally more useful to combine a prescription drug with therapy, but I’m starting to wonder if it would help me. I know it may not be a great justification for this prescription, but whenever I drink even a little bit, my social anxiety melts away. This has created some awkward situations where someone who met a talkative, relaxed me at a party has been confused why sober me barely talks to them the next day. If anyone is wondering, I wouldn’t describe myself as an alcoholic, as I only drink socially once or twice a week. I can certainly have fun with my friends without having to drink, but I don’t always feel the same way about people I’m not close with. 

Finally, I feel like I should mention that I  am an engineering major at a strenuous university. I’m doing quite well, but I know that benzodiazepines can have a negative effect on memory and cognition. I have a feeling I could still do well, but I can’t know for sure. 

I just need some advice from others - I realize I should talk to a doctor or psychiatrist about this, but a second opinion from y’all couldn’t hurt. ",4.951999999999998,6.653109593939397,6.328303030303032,73.20245454545456,69.72727272727272,10.007272727272726,30.77575757575757,10.264317810270406,3.51034303030303,1386,58,241,39,25,469,168,330,0.103,0.677,0.22,0.9933,2,0,5,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,3,2,14,23,1,2,18,0,30,7,0,3,3,66,55,22,0,11,16,0,4,1,2,5,4,1,0,1,14,11,4,0,16,4,0,1,11,8,3,2,6,5,40,15,35,41,7,19,0,2,0,0,21,9,0,13,9,175,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808907956177112,0.0,0.08846570192086613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775771419238825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533031933890829,0.0,0.0,0.05788108369941804,0.0,0.06812016050349948,0.14738192961832886,0.0,0.0,0.07777370585760045,0.0,0.06911710546593976,0.0,0.0,0.07043893206264905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037335675816756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609238956341412,0.0,0.0,0.053385682672472665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472793446120115,0.0,0.08471177754662511,0.0,0.24327606257147655,0.09599749572439543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467482643153582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780367848707898,0.0,0.1674224362643888,0.05913741811583587,0.0,0.09068047706175984,0.07565861376806646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790988174911824,0.0,0.043248672336380065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620602231887139,0.18252853866369456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817272407643122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097019516608242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861675741280872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729594288582659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05846933879299819,0.04044169549887175,0.0829664226368591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06137966677092789,0.06384435862319579,0.0,0.08803653062015951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815705856973012,0.0,0.06295724906461428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147772344887332,0.0722795325028872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684322443510937,0.0,0.15841687185748066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804578099453142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304719643222274,0.0,0.33753154287751985,0.14027695533886309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058591485461753766,0.0,0.06610751020341349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393676161574377,0.07801833863770763,0.0,0.0,0.26613887626908633,0.0,0.0,0.18933027037391786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056201587050626965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149457942292209,0.0,0.20490432392108307,0.0,0.06570621045827706,0.06640041493704044,0.0,0.22328510414213906,0.0,0.07469527811834249,0.0,0.0,0.07979611533589209,0.1795408437185954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880391005668669,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rustyword,2019/03/10,"I dont understand what is going on, need help Hey, so I am living normal life, have friends, gf, hobbies and etc. I feel perfectly happy almost all my time, but there are some days when I just wake up feeling like shit and it goes trough all day, I feel like no one cares about me, that Im nothing in this world and I dont have anything to live for. I hate when this happens, but I dont know why and what couses this, maybe anyone have similar experience and wish to share it with me, couse I cant live with this kinda stuff, becouse I hurt people not on purpose but when my mind gets darker than night. So, I hope you understand me and what Im asking. ",1.7606372549019618,3.465058102941178,3.1461764705882374,92.69196078431378,78.26470588235293,6.003921568627452,20.892156862745093,6.816661863887847,0.2541245098039213,506,13,113,5,12,165,89,136,0.111,0.6809999999999999,0.208,0.8953,0,2,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,8,11,2,0,0,0,10,3,2,0,3,30,25,14,0,4,5,0,3,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,6,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,0,3,17,8,11,25,4,13,0,1,0,0,7,5,1,4,9,72,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904716786718912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011063077632607,0.0,0.1060510660690451,0.0,0.12047836738170313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139407690322066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622416971400486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4531127418287762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372687524142666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606200899018138,0.0,0.0,0.1954853862477657,0.18413304341621656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995665543063615,0.0,0.0673305490392716,0.0,0.07324119726520173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139615038095434,0.13718714574049304,0.0,0.12723488826030546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638050330671536,0.0,0.0,0.12799944574236224,0.0,0.0,0.13796064961895574,0.0,0.2784087747056289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082494181373729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102644012459553,0.12592116312100354,0.0,0.3413902687603391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12946972251975072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012446208000833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555730708657452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093808748777342,0.1262676630333548,0.12365661522815155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732732413339771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934394743067005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322857433790097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752815111412618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514657638907782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683215822839403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628736362661818,0.0,0.14819698590673508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,destined2destroy,2019/03/10,"Having identity crisis. What’s your hobby is the most dreadful question to answer for me. What if I don’t have any?
I don’t have the energy or the mental will to do anything but I am just labelled as a lazy adult.

Moving to a country where I don’t understand their language is certainly not helping the situation. I don’t go out. Stay home all day, watching and rewatching youtube and scrolling reddit. 
P.S my eyesight is getting worse too cause of constant screen time.",3.299666666666667,5.8705105222222285,4.174444444444447,82.94500000000002,77.1111111111111,6.666666666666668,30.0,7.793537801064563,2.2830000000000004,377,18,66,6,9,121,68,90,0.16,0.789,0.052000000000000005,-0.8667,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,1,6,0,13,0,0,1,2,15,16,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,2,9,1,7,15,2,8,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,4,3,48,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811524111942608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21921394420685733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27365300450497143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878698962478443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179768773749746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917630220617033,0.0,0.15139396826510304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855370562810088,0.0,0.2672080525559925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684556135981436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831274052037681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984145972675269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994303415689973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28393328051581834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533250173238902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27731843982592497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27147128550495137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xustiel,2019/03/10,"should i seek help? I graduated last year and I think the bad experience i had in school has impacted me more than i expected. In school, there were a few times where I blanked out during my presentations and i was made fun of. But luckily,  I found a way to survive the subsequent presentations. Other times, people said very hurtful comments when I’m around. 

I skipped classes and cry often thinking of what I have to go through the next day. My grades also suffered because I’m uncomfortable speaking in class?? really hated the attention..

There were also instances where I was feeling faint/ or actually fainted(but woke up almost immediately) in the bus on the way to school. Surprisingly, I still manage to report to class as if nothing happened. 

Now, i have the mentality to avoid certain social situations. Which means to make myself get a job is tough:(
",5.04242396313364,7.66368257419355,5.780760368663597,73.33685483870968,71.64516129032258,8.557603686635945,31.71658986175116,9.23628265651192,3.2673041474654383,689,32,113,16,14,224,107,155,0.14400000000000002,0.763,0.093,-0.8814,1,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,11,9,1,1,10,0,10,1,0,2,1,22,25,10,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,5,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,9,3,17,3,20,15,2,24,0,2,0,0,5,10,0,4,11,78,20,11,0.0,0.0,0.15026323401252384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418971876915116,0.0,0.0,0.2462770838102937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707572678080324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856769468637586,0.0938653821775438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691408868966487,0.09930499988661363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062295465232245,0.0,0.0,0.07785741505008674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883220753337516,0.0,0.0,0.08044871183552274,0.0,0.08751094499229753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616488074335129,0.0,0.0,0.1520243486371693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032102116778542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483983428329638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280237271241395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551505824970766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570053564610222,0.10278350636837813,0.0,0.0,0.16773043895785025,0.0,0.0,0.15517662099538093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376052952041187,0.0,0.0,0.14774891259602446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675103030729458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986441649695684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647118258438946,0.0,0.0,0.467510946967703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308108407717449,0.0,0.15696422781001484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229694173535278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973296015581596,0.0,0.0,0.17957510686048075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270504427725019,0.0,0.24444588494411024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915870896121892
mentalhealth,charleymations,2019/03/10,"I’m pushing people away and I don’t know why I’m pushing people away and I don’t know how or why I’m doing this. I moved away for University and now all I do is sit in my room alone. At first I made new friends and what not and now I have no one.

I’ve pushed away all the people in my building. I can’t afford to go out drinking so I stopped going to places when they invited me. I’m ont acquaintances with the people on my course. They’re all lovely people but no one messages me or talks to me outside of class. And half the time I can barely get out of bed to go to class. 

I was dating someone but eventually I realised it wasn’t going to work out and that it wasn’t healthy for me so I broke up with him. I don’t talk to him now either so. 

My only proper friend can be absolutely awful and makes me feel worse. She travels a lot and so I don’t really see her either. And then today one of my online friends asked me if I still wanted to be friends and it hit me so hard. 

This is only a small part of the rest of my mental health but I hate it. I don’t know how to resume being friends with people or make new ones. And sitting alone in my room watching other people enjoy their lives together doesn’t exactly make me feel any better. ",0.8989962825278788,2.6081691152416364,2.9945040892193298,92.75820966542751,80.89591078066914,5.493591078066915,19.68193308550186,6.360717304075467,-0.029794171003717725,968,24,221,8,25,328,132,269,0.111,0.772,0.118,0.5982,1,2,1,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,2,3,15,10,1,0,6,1,20,3,0,6,4,46,44,28,0,2,10,0,3,0,5,0,1,0,3,0,9,18,1,1,5,2,0,9,12,2,0,6,4,5,38,8,32,36,8,41,0,1,2,1,16,17,0,5,13,154,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19759153889069406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486879776055493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917722241888221,0.0,0.35848998564665113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436512810112108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344635527066078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646458612124034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113909391,0.0,0.0,0.368492242708153,0.0,0.049837588919489716,0.0,0.21685043317531014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545113385122073,0.094178350656784,0.0,0.10139562002024506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727234007705948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423154184028299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109757525222329,0.08609363286675085,0.0902607790131649,0.19102165918693226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961311681769951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138498443136257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425744079932613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25855623301457586,0.145097517629222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032985945540343,0.0,0.4629222383628557,0.0,0.09966274920394093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110958436613397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601386264291997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082404450107375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617896087962217,0.07975071292917038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533425096593826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562295623939573,0.0,0.09041902171647057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626377683037342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17215014306728174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944540583661707,0.0,0.09721104897872024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,redfenix,2019/03/10,"Diversifying my connections, making friends in my 30's My wife and I have been separated about 2 months. She has been asking for low, to no contact, and I've struggled greatly with it at times. 

In my counseling recently, it came up that because we spent nearly all our time together previously, I'm still looking to her for all those links that just aren't there right now.

As my therapist put it, ""you need to diversify"".

So, ok.. I need to, I want to, but... how to? I'm making progress on handling inattentive - adhd, and my depression is mostly under control. Making friends, connections in my 30's seems just bonkers.

How do I do a better job of not looking to one person for all the things? It's not doing either of us any favors.

Thanks for your help. :)",3.686894977168951,5.528406479452058,4.99609589041096,80.91323059360731,73.24657534246576,8.154337899543378,28.605022831050228,8.841846274778883,2.3508420091324207,590,24,113,12,12,196,99,146,0.067,0.778,0.155,0.9146,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,3,2,0,3,9,10,0,1,2,1,9,0,0,6,3,27,24,8,0,3,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,1,2,0,1,2,4,3,0,1,4,2,18,7,24,20,5,18,0,2,2,0,14,10,0,2,6,82,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054007470920255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116224739936993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977788770181925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418522065163108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511561091281125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19547564223311728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916902283699236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472046328529447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26408946400173283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884290067410955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455744841926732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960191870336014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870429059941257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422514895880227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641882436498892,0.0,0.0,0.2534553714924541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581311808849601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492321213651258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181187271336956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875312123467312,0.0,0.0,0.14595630560296685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559015107214824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648903976278515,0.0,0.0,0.1786723622680584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573510727198698,0.0,0.1984398180832098,0.11354508705333745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993181266381222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20558382647002624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100807214804889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LifesbettercraZ,2019/03/10,"I’m done fucking trying to be a different person. I will embrace who I truly am. I’m going back to see a psychiatrist tomorrow who will probably just change my anti depressant medication.
I have anxiety and depression and Aspergers and probably some other stuff which hasn’t been diagnosed yet.
I’m not going to carry on trying to be a certain way. I will embrace who I truly am.
After all it doesn’t matter as everybody is ultimately self interested.
All you do is what makes you happy, when you doing something for someone else your just doing it to feel good about yourself.
Fuck it. I’m just going to be who I truly am.
I’ve only ever been happy within the last 2 years when I’m singing like shit and laughing my fucking head off while spilling Diet Coke down myself. I’ve only ever been happy when holding a fucking knife.
Ive only been happy when I’m fucking insane.
In fact I want to be looked in an asylum in a strait jacket in a padded room to fucking scream, I just want to let go and be forgotten as some crazy piece of shit.

LifesbettercraZ",4.091153846153849,5.668803500000003,5.875192307692307,76.0948076923077,71.69230769230771,8.276923076923078,27.903846153846153,8.841846274778883,2.3933596153846155,840,31,148,16,16,289,116,208,0.136,0.6679999999999999,0.196,0.8982,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,4,0,0,13,20,8,0,8,0,26,13,3,1,6,24,48,12,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,1,2,11,5,2,1,1,1,0,4,3,11,0,0,5,4,16,9,23,34,5,27,0,2,2,6,10,9,8,2,14,107,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805530520092746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845742010518242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793785434948956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576251120411526,0.10356179763239218,0.0,0.10660323202091328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441563822463637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523584961850172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845901828171786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051591174928562585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5659696476836669,0.0,0.0,0.23195182980873494,0.08558081168450793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4344659927598375,0.0,0.0,0.10471574995014238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317087488922707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433610922505014,0.0,0.04984838671431386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568239498150597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810811601452102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278796012857644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328030953546313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909166748051542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22001861947892126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130744436466543,0.0,0.10644313451210533,0.0,0.2094717275255996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645260578940442,0.07855032991185038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680388182116537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854802132793792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036393745365412,0.08098939839324157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570619248555404
mentalhealth,danasaur-,2019/03/10,"TW My friend tried to commit suicide a few times and I don’t know how to help her My friend’s been struggling with depression and anxiety for more than four years now, and I think it’s her worst time yet. She made a promise to my friend that she wouldn’t commit suicide, but she keeps relapsing (not taking meds, attempting to kill herself) then having to go to us for help. 

We feel like we’re repeating the same things and I even think we’re making it worse for her. And to top it all off, apparently her father is moving out because he’s had enough and needs a break. So she feels really fucking lonely and that everyone will leave her (trust issues). 

How can I help her? What should I say to her? 
",4.025744680851066,5.078097425531915,4.470702127659576,88.12350000000002,71.19858156028369,7.909503546099291,24.0290780141844,8.238735603445708,1.1547895035460989,551,14,117,8,10,174,92,141,0.189,0.664,0.147,-0.8647,1,2,0,0,0,4,15.0,2,0,0,2,6,12,2,1,4,0,9,1,0,4,3,29,21,12,3,3,2,1,2,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,1,5,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,3,3,22,6,15,15,6,13,0,2,0,1,23,3,1,0,8,80,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216379815125497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692764683628777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695031384100878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642941182709476,0.0,0.10502095039071306,0.0,0.0,0.15193558154561518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079487143166402,0.11359282250223685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36853936872970094,0.1469970669394725,0.0,0.0,0.09036590246316062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31973202629124986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595935217005098,0.0,0.1413304754699718,0.17591488350005716,0.0,0.08738469635777033,0.0,0.0,0.16836277138945138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768155061309133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045387058938509,0.10613671595163347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176618117079026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899658405472234,0.0,0.11789979703035786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018623326600408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644673358143496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662259917578099,0.0,0.34785015734723945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955157031489724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563550212847912,0.20376728338459274,0.0,0.0,0.18543356597045252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795359529699083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19126279526699266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203913530116468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239366313723527
mentalhealth,zulu_cw,2019/03/10,"Dealing with ADHD at 14 Hi I'm quite new to reddit and this is my first post

So I had worries about focusing in class and was even getting detentions for doing so. I went to the doctors with my mum and they started to do tests like qb tests and family and school surveys. Yesterday I got a letter though the post saying that the doctors are pitting me on medications. My mum and my sister were over the moon about it but for me something changed. In school I'm known for a funny and witty personality and I don't want that to change. The letter even came with forms saying things like ""does you child keep you up at night?"" And  ""struggleing to cope with you child?"". After looking at them it made me feel like I was a burden to my family. Since reading them my mood has shifted from light hearted to a saddened and angry phase almost instantly.

If anyone has any advice on coping with this please let me know.
It would mean the world.",3.211195652173913,5.209704467391305,4.029782608695655,86.65380434782612,74.97826086956522,6.556521739130435,23.45652173913044,7.413659706084162,0.9858978260869566,738,22,144,9,16,236,112,184,0.086,0.8340000000000001,0.08,-0.272,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,3,3,2,7,6,0,1,10,0,13,4,1,1,0,27,27,15,0,3,2,3,1,3,0,1,3,2,0,3,8,16,0,1,4,1,0,2,1,2,0,1,8,5,21,3,28,17,1,20,0,0,1,0,18,10,0,2,9,99,29,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977291505283325,0.12991138856594509,0.0,0.0,0.13312426392747295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040651391920748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295757196689876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205257830643218,0.0,0.0,0.28127435763592346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705947962378845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27214774022494603,0.11634023543055913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561658448486478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506556402213587,0.0,0.06722050699992732,0.09497525701120672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308214235822996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945777988642418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063275027176188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157539341221255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181667814532234,0.0,0.0,0.07306257396026995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594429997415594,0.0,0.1948492450135781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163952051101958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12579487605633094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481504605327244,0.0,0.13392714554182247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128398193441402,0.0,0.12475898652944878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608161794728955,0.0,0.14593264628384792,0.0,0.0,0.2546473045642864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414023632605768,0.13298002812698664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114448915975811,0.0,0.2690929554833722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997269327171387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234682596388883,0.0,0.0,0.09409848396658888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898198795817265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832212056323026,0.0,0.13061685568212528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841384608264436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324046772279093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501113763586864,0.0,0.09443963989023332,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anomalistic_Username,2019/03/10,"When I remember horrible times I punch the wall, my pillows, my mattress, etc. I get angry because back in the past I did nothing about it. When I was bullied, I did nothing about it but tolerate it. 

Do I have some PTSD bullshit? I am not a normal person. Fuck, I don’t wanna have mental issues because noone cares about them",2.5225520833333306,4.669174484375001,4.057500000000001,84.97083333333336,77.59375,6.141666666666668,27.854166666666664,7.1686216300943375,1.6433104166666668,253,11,47,3,6,84,44,64,0.182,0.7020000000000001,0.116,-0.5228,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,6,2,1,0,3,0,8,1,0,0,0,6,11,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,12,1,5,8,2,8,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,1,6,38,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870471747012853,0.0,0.2965705453639192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480134845350403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712923138553249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22488423959558465,0.1270900825703647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538937918530396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24514263964367186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23833709883334184,0.4668172074625818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23221329876835264,0.0,0.2123998554797756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284350701672872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755591619258473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184326036904446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nabil-xel-sahara,2019/03/10,"Had a breakdown a few months ago and I'm still in a weird echo chamber of the emotions I felt during that situation Hey, 20M from Europe here. I've started a job a year ago alongside school. At the beginning it was really exciting to learn about the theoretical aspect of my occupation in school and doing it in practice at work. But as school became more serious and demanding since we are close to graduation and I have increased my work hours, I've become so frustrated and stressed out.
It all worsened in October, when I worked a total of 150 hours that month and went to school fulltime. As you can imagine, I had NO free time at all. 
But not only that, I have also lost the passion for my job. Some people are nice there, but my boss really doesn't know what they're doing and the staff feels unappreciated and shitty because of the way we are treated.
To add to all of that, people have been gossiping behind my back and have told lies about me to my boss. So the human resources employee had a private conversation with me about it. She didn't believe my part of the story and it was so frustrating. They all pretended like I was an unreliable employee who didn't know what they were doing. Of course only the people who didn't like me told these lies about me.
Everything from the past year caught up on me in that moment and it all became to much for me. I excused myself and ran away criying, feeling absolutely raw and shitty. I haven't cried in years, and it felt kind of like a relieve.
I was told to get a grip and I continued my work day sorely.
The story should have ended right there, right? But since I had that breakdown, I still feel that raw, metallic feeling in my chest, like being vulnerable and still healing. I don't feel confident anymore and I am on the edge constantly. 
I hate the fact that my motivation and discipline have declined so much. I used to have so much passion and happiness in my life, but now I'm just a smol bag of sadness and cringy interactions.
",5.4636153846153865,6.138586848717949,6.197076923076924,78.41792307692309,67.69230769230771,9.316923076923075,30.215384615384608,9.3871,2.5600892307692305,1581,57,305,30,25,519,190,390,0.139,0.755,0.106,-0.9422,4,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,2,1,2,6,20,22,3,1,24,0,33,6,1,4,7,58,56,34,0,1,7,0,8,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,20,26,0,1,12,1,1,4,8,9,0,0,22,8,40,14,46,32,14,48,0,2,0,2,17,19,0,1,28,219,60,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16570416364893542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474482768892463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269328250873764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781450267540315,0.0718696820504123,0.0,0.05697608326578961,0.10322599359018744,0.0,0.105304318063533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100367842546333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266815125990604,0.06027791940959613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513681224979034,0.08278324596838263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400132787462514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362964098075204,0.0,0.1794842780006147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04883219348637397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949642978161004,0.0,0.0922784496844142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18409061480472114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855014172190851,0.0,0.0,0.09733058791873483,0.10273307767897008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601788935283233,0.18265131323873798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202931821797326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920754109703085,0.0,0.20612507224623888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421704020776146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121470692095323,0.08922399377061654,0.19439293114450304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975358809831853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963912288496904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37837084022757816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546322915832678,0.10505984239707776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615580548852304,0.0,0.22392650835942832,0.0,0.10706513225311767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05450085006628557,0.0,0.0,0.26793266816227645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072472395112791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418906082016283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086644035772972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272177813419644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805673634061299
mentalhealth,el00n,2019/03/10,"How can you cope with thanatophobia? I'm fairly certain I've developed a strong fear of death over the last 3 months, with occasional panic attacks and a state of mind that there is something wrong with me and I could die any moment. 

I'm watching what I'm doing at all time, thinking how they would find my body in this situation. I became highly conscious of my body, and any small change or unknown pain sends me into alert mode. It's worse when I'm alone, because there is a higher chance of death, since in case something happens there is nobody to call an ambulance. 

Does anyone have/had similar problem? Or know how to deal with it?",5.653790322580644,6.42617921774194,5.585645161290324,82.62346774193551,67.30645161290322,8.135483870967743,29.20967741935484,8.07648339933343,1.8730516129032264,509,17,97,6,8,159,89,124,0.253,0.679,0.068,-0.9803,0,1,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,1,7,8,1,2,5,0,7,3,2,3,2,23,14,9,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,1,8,2,15,12,1,14,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,2,5,53,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874806723988754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347301365022252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067683295589265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19634261122351584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520742433293216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834104673932933,0.0,0.0,0.17623060835384738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825741462099139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779666421622475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792960355581555,0.0,0.0,0.1791180427509514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103203386274067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420834047938326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774137787014436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261810110688584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823476256325979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484929357094952,0.14068142788224705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17426365611492375,0.0,0.13775728507556256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18364472062640386,0.202493641284158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16514243653261498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427657376892972,0.19399500256727864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657317862133502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105867714111563,0.0,0.0,0.10063685902523324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588088252018427,0.1226008425812432,0.1886967752461396,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kxbooks,2019/03/10,"What is this a symptom of (describing what one is doing out loud)? I was waiting for the bus really late one night and a woman was standing beside me. She must've been in her 30s and her behaviour was completely ""normal,"" other than the fact she was talking to herself quietly. Then she looked up at me and said very distinctly ""I am looking at *you""*. I didn't really know what to do/say so I just held her gaze for a short while and smiled.  I then looked away and she carried on talking more quietly. 

I've been thinking about this a lot for some reason, and I want to know what this kind of thing might be a symptom of. I'm quite interested in the idea of ""tautology"" in relation to mental health, and stating out loud what one is doing seems like a form of tautology to me. But anyway, -- any ideas what this person might have? Maybe schizophrenia?",4.831687534022862,5.558485113772459,5.593184540010888,82.0027000544366,69.11976047904191,8.946978769733262,28.35547087642896,9.095868883498916,2.1581904191616768,662,22,133,12,11,216,98,167,0.0,0.932,0.068,0.87,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,9,0,17,3,0,1,2,28,29,12,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,5,0,2,12,9,0,2,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,9,8,18,3,25,17,4,18,0,0,3,0,14,11,0,5,6,102,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983709392811263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359089339882229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166890779758765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537624054202659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265976968835017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506368087897564,0.15899814549184907,0.0,0.16317810092664864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067154205036298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36442344751986977,0.0,0.0,0.1229812317538284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532624560513138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577907459714312,0.3069139967116045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357497171014781,0.14173202083731956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29406764550174397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263079096374898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538593037991117,0.0,0.0,0.18534048481568174,0.14873030743858626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760084035427647,0.115036138940376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168925404485232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007056342801039,0.0,0.2325377874675384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610291982799199,0.09268962850604846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935622683190103,0.08532176894563982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GunnerJohnny24,2019/03/10,"Question about processing stress/trauma I have a certain reaction when I am faced with a rock/hard place situation, or just a string of negative occurrences, or just an absurd amount of things going wrong. I can feel my perspective change to effectively seeing the whole situation as a joke, and I just start physically laughing at the situation. 

For clarification, in the moment, I process it as legitimately funny, like a good joke from a stand up comic. 

For example, the first time someone pointed it out as abnormal was way when I was in high school, and a fellow mistook me for someone who had been talking trash about his sister, and he looked like a roided out gorilla.

Well, he popped me good, well enough to hairline fracture my cheekbone, and I, though I was hurting too, thought well, today is it, and I started laughing. To me, it was funny. Freaked him out though. 

Anyway, is that a sign of being a bit cuckoo upstairs? Apparently, most people who see me do it find it a bit disconcerting. ",6.579262295081969,7.7062704918032825,7.058046448087435,71.62182377049183,65.39344262295081,9.81584699453552,34.37568306010929,9.928628108626363,3.5406469945355186,792,35,135,17,12,259,115,183,0.06,0.7390000000000001,0.2,0.9719,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,14,15,0,0,16,0,13,1,1,1,1,23,21,14,0,0,5,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,9,0,0,6,3,0,1,1,3,3,1,7,4,17,12,23,13,6,21,0,1,3,0,10,10,0,4,10,103,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851373334559611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814516918749445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493268406195189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602939841671593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935539497846112,0.1110783920685904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742163742400447,0.21906264082440244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698152014317326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797377184494966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979753997528946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759775257483807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966133264780656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053352602344608,0.0,0.13643704159413314,0.0,0.1234482098255516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462888494389511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321623918186335,0.2081240307332942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44036036329655137,0.0,0.0,0.22129418683471386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18486222629191326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958852484974353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049619769455379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675710356788968,0.0,0.256604800787446,0.1036725707580788,0.0761471227177726,0.0,0.12378249572050845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365496155965284,0.0,0.0,0.3522438552652973,0.0,0.0,0.14579724005062925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277787125205288,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jhall901,2019/03/10,"Seeking Suicide Friend. What an absurd way to preface this. 

Being said. 

I’m in a relationship. 

I’m successful.

My wife is too

Doesn’t matter.

I just want to talk about basketball.

Or dogs. 

Or whatever. 

[this is what “a total panic attack” looks like]

Holler at me. 

",0.2867999999999995,2.27153208,2.4080000000000013,86.70400000000004,108.2,5.2,19.0,6.742157984588678,0.9049999999999998,204,7,37,4,10,68,41,50,0.19,0.6459999999999999,0.16399999999999998,-0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,1,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,9,2,1,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,3,3,5,7,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,2,1,24,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3773419862713569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562606484110853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620455741130569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27853364574731465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.389163372807035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561078396152509,0.0,0.0,0.3155104095189797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628118775164564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665975453479137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956376588370592,0.2632777994385001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kdizzle343,2019/03/10,"Trying to go on NEED HELP Apologies if this moves around a lot try to bear with me. Also it’s gonna be kinda long I need serious air.

I fucked up pretty hard. The other day I did mdma with 2 of my friends (1 a girl in my class, another a guy in my class i also live with) and the night when on for a long time, somehow, due to the fearlessness I felt on m (and probably also wanting help and not wanting to be alone) I not only shared with them that I had been depressed and recently made the decision to kill myself only to breakdown and change my mind but also shared that I was sexually abused when I was younger and how i was told if i told my parents they wouldn’t love me anymore and how I gained abandonment issues it’s fucked me up ever since then(side note: one of them, the one i live with already knew about that because i shared it with him a previous time we did m, the suicide was new though). I also said a slew of different things but i was so high and pretty drunk (combined with the fact that I’ve most definitely repressed the memory, I’ll get flashes and freak out) I go to school with them and it’s a small class of 14. I’ve spent the past week of Break freaking out every time I think about it because I feel I ruined what would’ve been a good bonding moment for me and that girl, also I feel I’ve now employed her as a helper for me and added a whole new level of worry she never needed to have. And it stresses me out and I can’t help but feel everything’s fallen apart. I’ve tried smoking weed since then and it just gets me extremely paranoid and immediately gives me panic attacks. I realized I’ve been using drugs as a way to make me feel like I’m okay and now drugs don’t do that for me anymore. When she left that night I called her and we talked for a bit and at the end I said goodbye my love in a strictly platonic and endearing way as I sometimes say it to people and I was on molly but it sounded like I shook her and freaked her out and I’m gonna see her on monday and everything feels so fragile and I’m at a loss because 1. I’m not gonna kill myself, I had a friend I knew that killed himself less than a year ago and I realized how it fucked me up and how stupid it was for me to think I was gonna do that to others. 2. I’m in school abroad and no one from back home talks to me because I’m so busy and nobody here really hits me up just to chat either so I’m just alone spiraling 3. There’s NOBODY I can tell without pulling them into the situation and changing my relationship with them forever too so basically this is where you come in reddit. If anybody could just help me, maybe give me a more positive outlook, outline some areas in which I might just be spiralling and I shouldn’t worry, and maybe just maybe someone who could talk to me here and there who would help me out even though they don’t need to, I would really appreciate it. I really need a friend right now.

Thanks

TL;DR told two of my friends I was abused as a child and I’m formally (as in a week) suicidal while we were on drugs, gonna see her back at school on Monday and I’m freaked that I’ve burdened her with terrible things she didn’t need to know and I’ve ruined our relationship.

Really sorry, hope it’s okay to post this",3.267982456140352,4.060585345029241,4.562236842105263,87.73440789473686,72.74269005847952,7.746783625730995,25.36111111111111,8.007285818006526,1.2329654970760229,2552,76,566,35,48,846,280,684,0.192,0.687,0.121,-0.9954,3,2,3,0,2,3,43.0,4,1,7,2,43,42,8,4,31,2,36,9,0,7,3,123,95,70,5,18,18,1,8,2,4,10,3,4,1,4,34,57,1,2,14,2,1,7,12,24,0,4,28,14,90,18,79,51,8,81,0,5,2,5,63,37,3,10,35,371,124,8,0.0,0.1361466894699006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092931714811221,0.0,0.0,0.11900959594155255,0.06340168454527159,0.2756746445513736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060245306974145776,0.0,0.0,0.1139574402581378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05114605288248867,0.0,0.06536197898145918,0.0,0.08835683424911821,0.0,0.14009318537817153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272465689506643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05866674201455429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155698075692077,0.049491351686921495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174435049112097,0.0,0.0,0.0370529406991083,0.0,0.04948486404743821,0.0,0.0,0.06002698080987469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988446367698254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0508870036290247,0.0,0.0,0.037947685598227525,0.05197024120002433,0.04840729496871776,0.0,0.10327152134216944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525180938173507,0.04104499815030555,0.055164647140427917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17755461861776795,0.15934530565552713,0.06003446659009759,0.11022981879633163,0.06530462431951775,0.048189512112274936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056888283716968836,0.0,0.0,0.0514673096301304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255031756751728,0.06070308222777353,0.057630834594291185,0.057064575876908566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059966828473793,0.0,0.0,0.19069231423654992,0.0,0.03157509974099875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242370956537485,0.0,0.0,0.05613803814346483,0.0,0.10146549610599924,0.10168959012593078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884515661344089,0.10370857495350924,0.05436416407318356,0.03835085011492269,0.0,0.17316015928759898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094939049823238,0.058011948385718916,0.0,0.0,0.061064284935762075,0.0,0.25560753810499665,0.044311903784226885,0.11097845435012757,0.0,0.10783297739812367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679652248263778,0.08739239059587728,0.0,0.06740964196726071,0.0637956331899476,0.0,0.054846142376870965,0.03983122300046539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055024847911641535,0.1169023163016852,0.061944901664357566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14722547300151306,0.0,0.056728685096622676,0.12336773523700335,0.0,0.04906522165538404,0.10930341973967883,0.045689558826306806,0.0,0.17443890452602842,0.09156646210539374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505273550118433,0.0645804657547099,0.0,0.0,0.048680408748453086,0.0,0.05682326614601329,0.06431481267506589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581312087698576,0.0,0.0,0.12569023949219846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853753721703185,0.050217143730448575,0.0528957295049261,0.0,0.0,0.07633948860430233,0.0736281358749467,0.11289611144171925,0.0,0.1005052987231466,0.0,0.0,0.16469867178577866,0.0,0.11702205355087213,0.0,0.056124003229631805,0.0,0.0,0.04962162660572611,0.0,0.0,0.0677754663415275,0.09120828648423483,0.09217192752419248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414510332675043,0.0,0.05538340209489488,0.0,0.0,0.11669422266224555,0.0,0.12244056925750978,0.0,0.0,0.03699835624727145
mentalhealth,xMonophobia,2019/03/10,"Is it normal to laugh at your own depression? At this particular moment, I'm lower than I have been in quite a while...

I'm over a year clean from cutting but I want to break so very bad.

Yet even feeling like this, I almost find it funny. Is that even normal? How can I find this amusing in the slightest?",0.7138095238095232,2.9378289523809533,2.5295238095238126,92.95714285714287,84.87301587301587,4.8698412698412685,18.52380952380953,6.18269132825596,-0.16781904761904753,236,6,51,2,7,78,46,63,0.147,0.599,0.253,0.7774,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,5,6,1,0,3,0,5,0,0,1,0,9,9,4,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,5,3,9,8,1,10,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,5,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25900278650355435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21596375843946225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22277673542463336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416746383859633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307823090210521,0.18478116226952745,0.0,0.0,0.4728067958726435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636438546901574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5068484200224871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751084214266906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21341512888972194,0.15255975159367208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16656351754231855
mentalhealth,Ashbyguy,2019/03/10,"An old friend called me and now I’m worried An old friend called me out of the blue last night, and after a brief exchange of pleasantries he started to tell me what is going on in his life. Basically he is saying that every car that he sees  he can tell that  the person inside is laughing at him and that something is being put in his clothing that is burning him. I told him I was worried about him and asked if he was getting help, he said he was seeing a doctor but he couldn’t trust the medication because something is being put into his pills. I’m worried about him, I don’t know his family and I’m not sure what to do next. Any advice would be appreciated. ",4.272908496732029,4.895934264705887,5.313627450980395,83.88104575163399,70.32352941176471,7.220915032679738,26.87581699346405,6.937597516519254,1.1738571895424834,524,16,107,4,9,173,78,136,0.059,0.809,0.132,0.8822,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,7,0,17,4,0,0,1,14,29,7,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,1,4,2,0,1,7,7,0,0,1,0,1,5,3,0,0,0,5,5,15,5,13,19,0,19,0,0,3,0,29,6,0,1,8,68,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074262504160842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794406964860546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13464686236215925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779821330114901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941376550285729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741889753167225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213499142737699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357769059959333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225515571785397,0.0,0.07524875516064,0.0,0.08185450734207947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653902183670944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791540954567292,0.11740215190164514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173133003987823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509319187453268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317555383673673,0.13516064646458692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30226659573142856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575981066267625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895761098130788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700373697612608,0.11453695254737267,0.0,0.0,0.2295435498724432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22175978734185225,0.0,0.0,0.10194385413077718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574481122858326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25177387378086474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376250536558155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4388026822855585,0.0,0.1023134535998633,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nanaberries,2019/03/10,"My dad is depressed and slowly dying at home We live in London, UK. My dad, who has been separated from my mother for 10 years, begged to stay in our family home after he lost his own home due to his gambling problems. My mother accepted him into our home, and since then (3 months ago), he's stayed on a sofa, and barely moves to eat or go to the toilet. It's gotten to the point where he's slowly starving to death, and my sister and I have had to take time off of work to bathe, and watch him because we're so worried. Our family from the other side of the world have even flown over to try and talk to him, but to no avail. His behaviour is slowly killing all of us, and I don't know what to do anymore. We have called an in-house doctor before, and called the ambulance last night, but they needed his consent to admit him, which of course he didn't give (he's refused to speak for months). I don't know what step to take next, clearly he needs professional help, but who do I contact?",7.635098039215684,5.029784470588236,7.71078431372549,80.15186274509807,64.58823529411765,10.43921568627451,31.0,8.167268648758528,1.9827588235294118,768,17,167,7,9,250,122,204,0.098,0.8290000000000001,0.073,-0.6487,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,6,0,1,2,3,5,1,0,7,0,13,2,0,0,2,26,24,15,3,3,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,7,12,1,1,4,1,1,3,4,4,0,0,5,2,24,1,31,19,2,27,0,2,1,0,37,11,0,1,11,102,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133215886971005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678196858943916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792948748224217,0.0,0.1087816006294882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610758903143336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101075711266156,0.0,0.13267673226398582,0.0,0.0,0.13084866648066568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081124501032068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443647510260446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410305243887961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263484852414548,0.07265386806221265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568780856584125,0.0,0.5129318906964353,0.0,0.0,0.14750907918472486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143494822289895,0.0,0.14051397765705229,0.10420587370754407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288420756979953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955140510094274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407979172479992,0.13587265977764004,0.0,0.18958204509709425,0.0,0.0,0.13595826106804465,0.11996827168481736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120849206674699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232468879600712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574976850439433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725187976438361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223808493098046,0.10275217164186708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454396774167762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679431130283373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377461535564296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306833801159957,0.12982674267358624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232414538229292
mentalhealth,fabernetle,2019/03/10,"Im struggling, and I dont know what im supposed to do to help myself. Im a high school student, which already puts me in a bad spot. Ya'know people saying ""youre just a kid, youll get over it"" well I cant. I havent gone anywhere to get my mental health checked. So ill get to the point, Im having a problem with feeling lonely all the time. I have a boyfriend and it isnt as bad when im with him. But I dont have any friends, im trying my hardest to graduate right now, and i pushed all of them away while trying to do so. I work, do homework, and sleep. When im not doing that im at home watching netflix laying in bed all day. Ive tried reconnecting with my friends but they dont seem to want to talk to me. Ive tried making online friends but nothing seems to work. Im really stressed out over school, im having home issues. I feel like im drowning. Im sorry this is all mixed up. I dont talk aboutthese things so its hard to get the word out correctly that get the point through. Thanks for reading. :)",-0.14757575757575836,1.8182371818181864,1.9304545454545448,97.54901515151516,86.27272727272728,4.393939393939394,20.984848484848484,5.46131890053228,-0.20746969696969764,780,26,185,4,24,260,117,220,0.131,0.7929999999999999,0.076,-0.7595,0,2,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,2,2,9,12,0,2,9,0,19,3,1,1,5,28,33,14,1,2,5,0,3,1,3,1,2,1,4,1,9,9,0,0,5,2,1,3,8,6,1,0,1,5,22,6,27,31,4,22,0,1,1,0,13,13,0,2,7,104,31,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875313932147965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04236831792410205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853591483438865,0.0,0.10404115258597592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04018041495943669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29207558317442306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300474795737407,0.04450942426084626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440591190778546,0.0,0.16275427361131226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055811436791958026,0.0,0.0,0.06622539669975905,0.0,0.0,0.041760527042974206,0.06582675996044343,0.12499039508154375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8075778713962551,0.06502836229504322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848042752026233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030438200383746943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04158787514810769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278697981689571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05978160842547931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04319319973809998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779333951767282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961575584657276,0.0,0.0626319323252661,0.0,0.0,0.06232006815654013,0.0,0.03991303042475182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0532065992332294,0.0,0.049546011688048855,0.0,0.1261083454588722,0.0,0.11343700127971908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062348202655347885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974334054367719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713681142904939,0.06513284050303972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015391721162732,0.0,0.05736042324816605,0.0,0.0,0.041391482997540786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03632950162770174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16919915423222606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03674804631279166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056018066327723916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071495493764843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ParaSalirDelPaso,2019/03/10,"Drunk and thinking about ending it all Hey guys (mankind),

Right now I’m drunk, but with a coupule of friends, this week has been hard, so hard I’ve been thinking to end it all... I need someone to save my life, should I tell that to my friends?",8.685400000000001,5.006347540000005,6.904,90.09200000000001,63.6,10.0,39.0,3.1291,2.1124,187,7,46,0,2,54,37,50,0.115,0.664,0.22,0.875,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,10,8,3,0,2,1,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,4,2,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,4,3,6,5,2,5,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4534416561307961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3955364561580871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534587983516858,0.0,0.0,0.4586126211206451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808050695054957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18980469329457786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21860410103958355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21688961414336794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22373634912063348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280411646198452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205330381456666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BitchDuckOff,2019/03/10,"Sadness is appealing and I Dont know what to do. For the past 2 or 3 years I've struggled with really bad anxiety and self worth problems. I feel like I'm past that to an extent. I feel the same about myself as I did before, but I am very confident that I wont do anything about it in terms of harm or other things of that type. But since those issues have become less prominent, I've been falling into a familiar ""comfortable"" type of depression, I feel awful about myself and incredibly depressed, but for whatever reason I enjoy the feeling. Is this a problem? I dont know if this is something I should work against or if it is normal. Any suggestions?",5.462538461538465,5.807385061538465,6.541346153846158,77.10740384615386,67.61538461538461,9.884615384615383,31.634615384615394,9.827888789773867,3.009615384615385,518,20,98,11,8,174,83,130,0.236,0.649,0.115,-0.9544,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,11,0,1,6,1,14,0,0,1,0,25,21,12,0,6,8,0,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,11,5,0,0,7,0,1,1,3,8,0,0,2,4,12,3,15,17,4,7,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,5,5,71,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457969125746068,0.0,0.1288951914545584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865377712039914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406829882027247,0.0,0.18608512616740705,0.14337347291352528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902421875600996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949405096034083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34077654825202963,0.12037003921163293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758608800116122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519654843287875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823162158254684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508545417489812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216875432341377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224463577344265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793968057476576,0.1732368607179706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17577291084370916,0.0,0.0,0.1393775370332835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971264139886265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761434279484176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193796626626808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902276139675468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266349053330405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850271148609797
mentalhealth,throwaway39292020292,2019/03/10,"I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is a sociopath. I’m considering confronting him about it & letting him know I want to help him. Thoughts? As the title suggests I’m 99% sure my boyfriend is a sociopath.  We’ve only been dating for 5 months, but that’s more than enough time to determine this.   We met on Tinder, and from the very start he was super charming.  I don’t think anyone has ever given me that much attention in my life.  He quickly convinced me to delete Tinder.  ( he said he did the same ) 

Things kept moving alarmingly fast.   I’m pretty sure he was already using the word “love” by the third date.  
But I don’t think he knows what love is.   This dude lacks empathy.  Here’s some examples ~

1 )  We’re in Walmart because I’m wanting to find something specific for my nieces birthday party.   Out of the corner of my eye I see a lady crying hysterically.  I go up to her & ask her what’s wrong.   She tells me a bit about the troubles she’s having that I won’t go into,  but I try my best to comfort her.   When I finally go back to what I was doing I can’t find my boyfriend.   

Turns out he just went back to the car and sat there.  He’s super pissed at me, and tells me I’m wasting his time.  And questions why I should “feel sorry for anyone.”  Then I explain her situation and all he says is “so what?”  So now, I’m pissed.  Then I’m like “what if it was me, or your mom, x, y, z” etc?  All he says is “that’s still not my problem.   I decide to just let it go.

2 )  I’m scrolling on Facebook.  I see this article about a puppy that was tied, and burned.   I’m visibly getting upset reading this disgusting ass article.  And I say out loud “how can anyone be this evil?”  He asks me what I’m looking at & I show him.   So he says, “I don’t see the big deal, animals can’t even think.  You’re working yourself up over nothing.”  I was literally speechless and again dropped  it.

Over the last 5 months he’s been terrible about making promises he can’t keep.  Movie night?  Excuse.  Bowling?  Excuse.  Dinner?  Excuse.  He even lied about the type of car he had.   Then he tries to tell me he never said that.  Like wtf?  It’s not even like I care about that stuff.  But why would you lie?  He also lied about what kind of work he does.   On his dating profile it said he’s an engineer.   I recently learned he’s actually just a server on & off.   

I’m sure you guys are wondering at this point..  why am I still with him?  Because at the time I didn’t want to question him.   Stuff happens, and you can’t always come through with plans.   But, now that I’m adding all of this up, and looking back.   It just seems really strange.   But I kind of just feel bad for him you know?   And I want to get him the help he needs *if* he’s actually a sociopath.   I’m just a really empathetic person.  

He didn’t ask to be like this.  I’m just a really empathetic person.   Tomorrow night I plan to spend the night with him.   I’ve got a few articles printed out on the diagnosis, examples ( internet examples and my own ), treatments etc.  some doctors offices as well, and I want to confront him on it.   

What do you guys think?

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mentalhealth,xsheriff123,2019/03/10,"derealization Im 16, if been going through derealization after a bad weed/acid trip where i thought i was stuck in a dream.  The symptoms of derealization came on through a sudden mini panic attack in school around 3 weeks after that bad trip and i was smoking a a lot of weed in that period between. I feel disconnected from the material word and feel like i am in a dream. I have mini panic attacks sometimes, for example yesterday i was walking to get food and this car playing loud music set me right back to the bad trip for a couple of seconds. i have been getting better. The problem is now every time i think of something i enjoy or life in general my mind says whats the point and its happening a lot. I need some insight. Will this last?",4.888163265306126,5.865855809523811,6.277693877551023,76.23694897959184,69.1360544217687,8.60108843537415,31.026530612244898,8.841846274778883,2.5475338775510203,592,24,111,10,10,201,93,147,0.184,0.721,0.095,-0.9371,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,12,2,2,13,0,10,3,0,0,0,21,21,6,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,6,6,1,0,5,3,0,7,0,8,0,1,8,4,13,4,21,12,3,28,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,5,11,76,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503904708150158,0.0,0.34514567047027633,0.0,0.11664265400453062,0.3799722835759944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341602468401716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17349652994183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16784556380445115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780800503584702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340120944104418,0.10836960283941974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834279356997304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850679971334966,0.0,0.08621070191266371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414173445129274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385461176384014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365014768459626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107145344270347,0.074109601315041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579281501460338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316681909643295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124785342733823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559584093919684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339904000834658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514983941834686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954510472995312,0.0,0.12063246600190952,0.0,0.15352154671809815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678078302302584,0.15002838498693571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766724499802087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719883301438773,0.0,0.12042740144157825,0.08845348436042061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216790794113626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imasubhuman001,2019/03/10,"easily hurt when insulted Whenever I get insulted or talked badly about, it gets me so hurt to the point where I start to shake, feel weak, unable to move freely, and I get massive adrenaline rushes to the point where my hands become cold. I also take most disagreement or insults as personal attacks against me. Am I just born this way? I'm a male as well which is embarrassing, how can I thicken my skin? It can be as stupid as being insulted over the internet in a video games where no one really knows me but it still gets to me.",6.16,6.027898285714286,6.743571428571428,77.8839285714286,66.14285714285714,11.190476190476188,30.833333333333336,10.864195022040775,3.1914761904761915,420,14,84,11,6,138,73,105,0.25,0.7040000000000001,0.046,-0.9504,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,11,13,6,2,5,0,6,3,2,1,0,9,15,12,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,2,2,0,3,1,12,1,1,0,4,12,1,13,13,1,15,0,2,0,0,8,7,0,3,4,58,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501970529470758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347553114988613,0.0,0.0,0.1722953898862019,0.0,0.2278996897537858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433782541025877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43124183583927705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4418083965166888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340572135076288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21931963283450187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398295280358278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017870032931696,0.0,0.0,0.39013887973653344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321944435955702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605708331665213,0.0,0.16479305908601874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515110351438324,0.16585800700687087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637926975172955,0.0,0.0,0.1855353259496145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skm11a,2019/03/10,26 F Having reoccurring dreams my brother molested me as a small child... it feels so real but I have no idea if it is. I’m so confused and anxious. For the last few weeks I have had this dream where I’m in my child hood bedroom and I’m a small child in my dream. The way my room is set up in the dream I know it was sometime before 4th grade. My older brother sneaks in my room during the night and starts molesting me in my bed and then tells me not to tell our parents and I wake up feeling so guilty and nauseous. I’ve been a complete wreck since the dreams started. I’m married and have a pretty stable life. I haven’t shared any of this with my husband. My brother lives in another state and has been in and out of my life because of his drug habit. I feel lost. If this is real I feel like so many things in my life are tainted... but is it possible my mind is playing a really cruel trick on me?  Could this all just be some weird dream?,1.3877055555555555,3.0859947150000053,2.844333333333335,94.46022222222223,79.35,5.644444444444447,22.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.24317777777777794,733,22,168,6,18,239,113,200,0.166,0.685,0.149,-0.792,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,1,6,10,4,1,10,0,18,5,1,0,1,30,30,19,0,3,6,5,4,1,0,0,4,0,4,3,9,11,0,0,6,7,0,0,3,7,0,0,5,4,25,3,19,23,3,27,0,1,0,0,13,17,0,4,8,106,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613355163523354,0.16365392781187324,0.0,0.17631567281083166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513936104871074,0.0,0.1328048253891553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363735036820154,0.0,0.0,0.12460989964632843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809926738545028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156565093085676,0.11149706926070184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618502872618194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577247512214832,0.12721859930514126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33071243849000503,0.07624834948366571,0.0,0.13781344812678295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036980408447935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823137801962014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758709997804232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14646195019327574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329824467922328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175946469335353,0.0,0.15878019545395494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552856638826828,0.09998300341053304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910344635398438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543580929861529,0.0,0.22093554709542554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27282565988113044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368655904272582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388180160274855,0.12519064746237268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,clarithromySIN,2019/03/10,"Schizophrenic friend in Europe, does not realize they’re ill and have completely isolated themselves from society Hey all,

I’m open to ideas. I know someone who’s been suffering from depression for years and has endured trauma at different points in their life. They’re currently living in Europe and displaying symptoms of schizophrenia and have completely isolated themselves from society; other friends are not willing to see them because their behavior has driven previous friends away. They need help and I’m not sure where to begin as they are not even aware they’re ill. This is specially hard because they have no support system and feel lost in life with no direction.

Where do I begin to help them? I do not live in Europe but I occasionally visit.",6.488595658073269,9.019549664179106,6.1564314789687895,72.62120081411126,67.28358208955224,10.245861601085483,34.56987788331072,10.436869588844218,4.346501492537312,621,30,95,18,11,193,82,134,0.126,0.765,0.109,-0.08800000000000001,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,7,2,3,10,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,2,21,23,8,0,1,6,0,2,0,3,1,6,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,3,3,11,6,18,19,1,18,0,3,1,0,15,11,0,0,4,62,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511225670776625,0.0,0.0,0.21425731285315688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685172843903235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136345096425965,0.0,0.0,0.18360949638333687,0.0,0.0,0.1537900862764898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607372797363097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885874721509085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40732575999700543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742732141275645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355878397349449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19838755696761928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658137196773188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24825882654990994,0.0,0.0,0.3103609141914936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918395079181268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030799014610922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661298381338451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004095963135232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890279693307662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19942614958573693,0.16563160794534448,0.18265975761766548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316993568424286
mentalhealth,angelic_dollx,2019/03/10,"Im trying so hard to make it I (16f) have been diagnosed with bpd and g.a.d 

Im going trough hell rn because for the first time since 6th grade i want to live 


I live in Quebec where anyone can have mental help quick!!!:))... if you have money and or insurances... 

Which i dont im quite literally poor. Altought there are options for people like me , if you dont pay, you will wait a hell of a long time to get that help you so desperately need. I had been on that list since sixth grade and just recently got an actual psychologist !! 

Now dont get me wrong im more then happy but since it had been a while i began to think pretty quick that i was never gonna get help so i just went on a downward spiral of self destruction. I started doing drugs , nothing too crazy. Abused amphetamines , tried a couple of opioids ,lots and lots of weed. Never cared because i tought i'd never get help and i would end up killing myself, also never tought i had a problem because i wasnt doing hard drugs often i mostly did weed and you know most people ( including me ) consider that pretty harmless. That is if you dont smoke every day 4 times a day which i do. 
Now i can imagine my mental health must have suffered a lot from that especially my anxiety even thought i cant tell the difference because i feel like i always felt this bad, i know thats not the case and i know drugs fuck your brain up.

But now i met someone about a little more then  year ago who put me back on the right track without even knowing probably, he made me try harder in school which i had completly given up on, he made me want to get better he gave me hope. He's the most wonderful person i've ever met and its the first time i dont doubt someones feelings towards me. I know he loves me and he loves me the right way and i've never had that. 


Anyways my point is now i want a futur , i want to live i want to see myself at 30with a good job and someone to come home to ( hopefully him ) 
But im trapped in the lifestyle ive been living . I dont want drugs in my life and yet they always find their way back to me , i dont think im addicted but i do think i have a problem with them , especially weed and amphetamines but particularly weed i will never say no and cannot say no to weed. 

But i know theyre screwing this up i wanna get better. Im trapped in a dying mind but i have so much will i want to be good. Not fck fantastic just not fck sick.


I do what i can, i cut out toxic people, trying to change the way eat, trying to change my sleep schedule hanging out more with people that make me feel loved cared for and accepted and im trying to stop things that i know have tendencies to make me sad and or anxious ( ex: i unsubscribed from all the morbid subreddits i was  following , im tryinf to stop watching true crime video) and im trying to give myself a more positive view on life ( stupid exemple: i follow the dodo their videos are wholesome and give me faith in humanity ) 
But im kinda putting sticks in my own wheels by continuously smoking weed and taking amphets ""one last time""

Also my familial situation ( if thats even a word) isnt the best, im very fragile and the mood here is always tense and stresseful so im trying to move out but im 16. 

Everythings seems hard but i want so bad. Has anyone gone trough something similar or has any advice to give me ??? Please im begging",1.8674970180750563,3.733432381502893,3.597277731902011,88.83582209377009,78.50867052023122,6.474575649142124,21.966785943664554,7.447530270364453,0.7511269566015231,2616,76,559,36,63,874,301,692,0.136,0.693,0.171,0.9585,1,3,7,0,1,1,70.0,0,7,4,6,31,37,8,2,29,0,52,18,2,5,10,118,117,50,2,20,24,1,8,2,0,6,10,2,1,3,22,29,1,3,20,2,3,10,23,17,0,3,25,13,83,19,57,85,14,81,3,2,3,5,39,27,4,21,43,342,105,5,0.0,0.04529631928628548,0.03730698230691633,0.04167636200762972,0.0,0.0373579306166082,0.03388860382217957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611450623213913,0.09543131124009456,0.0,0.0,0.025997722844512242,0.0,0.02924585872636272,0.043189038002173115,0.0,0.05346263421801497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058793047276530064,0.06384093544141181,0.09321865525236073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04012004473282662,0.06762268745015677,0.0,0.0,0.04814936870150581,0.04267734292527859,0.0,0.0,0.07795610142078978,0.0,0.08088457873314107,0.03293177493553748,0.04008344596347763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0423007871868538,0.0,0.04931039715875469,0.0,0.0,0.03880266299912077,0.03967672239517984,0.03994223141440297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136370702888369,0.0,0.17733873216373144,0.03911885200877216,0.0,0.0,0.03386044821034388,0.0,0.0,0.07575169795426738,0.034581239513752665,0.03221043856778018,0.0,0.034358674618596034,0.0,0.03603985808872223,0.0,0.057990736552902974,0.02731153212112832,0.03670681204100118,0.0,0.034941543374773384,0.06503686666472254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035343035123103814,0.11984163746183887,0.11002114894990274,0.021726999940764397,0.06413104969020941,0.03057603735138035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04069656448384548,0.1027397595441894,0.0,0.0,0.04063672085713799,0.0,0.0,0.10249909943074627,0.0,0.038347824610090765,0.07594206686688086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6194246876147951,0.0,0.03793739335306559,0.0,0.042295850085085684,0.0,0.14707152461118791,0.031162566732612317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400598387363442,0.03735451092865874,0.03831652089347657,0.13503122333870002,0.033832362434739895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975053812104706,0.1035122501056122,0.07234833379140937,0.07655650057168961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705373163257265,0.0,0.03860141949437524,0.0,0.0,0.04063245839041128,0.028103461644533062,0.028347073545124037,0.1769120776840261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036682732834211466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025905649240047547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601552202949116,0.03338097665653965,0.0,0.04196507892610682,0.036139723545266185,0.0,0.0,0.07778734341797043,0.04121842484560186,0.0731619272892414,0.0,0.07686345352323895,0.0,0.04066232940795315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03774753015049777,0.0,0.0,0.06529645207262977,0.0,0.06080408866947755,0.0,0.03869081868547237,0.030464374268596762,0.034803172087993856,0.03988224588090223,0.0,0.0,0.094872796534249,0.0429721414141191,0.038257626733987686,0.0,0.0971765092302582,0.029431335200055864,0.0,0.0,0.027059403135910688,0.0,0.0,0.06392401286788066,0.043792355849091864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028744215355000543,0.0,0.033414720327262434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025398324876174855,0.0734887546079389,0.0,0.03035036353883615,0.11146115312958382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764537903700694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031543768186198924,0.18039243848739706,0.09103562522667737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035439609207235115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03685237260221017,0.04145882316564836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027157507539732718,0.041798522657578316,0.0,0.02461887783198208
mentalhealth,redditburgerking,2019/03/10,"How do successful people come to terms with eventually dying? Anxiety-sufferers/hypochondriacs, is this a normal thought to be having in your 20s? I've been going through some death anxiety recently (probably stemming from my anxiety disorder and worrying that I have a grave illness). I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I'm going to die one day, either from an illness or of old age. It's made me wonder how successful people come to terms with it while leading ""successful lives""?



Posted in /r/death",7.061929824561408,8.016190578947374,7.4776315789473715,69.65258771929828,64.26315789473685,11.80701754385965,35.833333333333336,11.538034831475384,4.673596491228071,415,19,68,13,6,136,70,95,0.208,0.685,0.107,-0.8290000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,4,3,4,0,0,4,0,7,3,1,4,1,18,16,5,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,0,0,5,1,1,0,1,3,0,6,3,14,12,4,16,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,4,7,44,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29269958042302857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17030432338434315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329589115382294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337757538514442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970941700255715,0.0,0.21925508347863887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174490352981278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19633678963390475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892811553699796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101987655060756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874408293499956,0.0,0.0,0.20074514458307455,0.0,0.1296349807009258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652572036497325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832197982989792,0.0,0.20626194927096725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888931752771008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741592538427268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518768649712438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074649313422132,0.0,0.19428215388405745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,f1_kill,2019/03/10,"ran into an old friend from hs that is mentally challenged and hates his life I was leaving work today and ran into an old friend from higschool (we graduated 2 years ago) and he was in a really bad mood. He has always struggled with a mental disability but always seemed to be able to handle it enough to get through school and daily life. I used to make sure people did not makes jokes about him if me or him were around because I knew how horrible that would feel for him to be singled out and because he deserved a friend. 

He remembered me quickly and seemed happy to see me, then he started to talk about how he hated his job at wal mart and how he hated life in general. I tried to cheer him up but he just stayed in a real depressed mood. he had to go because his lunch break was ending soon and he just faded back down the sidewalk as I walked to my car saying goodbye.

the answer is probably easy to my question but I just feel better about writing it out. Is there anything that I can do in my power to help make his life better? I am going to try to see him again and give him my number so he can feel like he has a true friend but i just feel like i could do more. i truly am scared that he will take his life before he is 30 because of how depressed and down he seemed about his life. i cant put it into writing the way I felt when talking to him. it just seemed so dark and depressing. I know that mental health issues can be a rollercoaster of emotions but I have known this kid from 2nd grade to graduation and he has never seemed so sad about his life.

I was eating dinner just a little bit ago when i remembered this and started to cry because I remember how happy he was when we were little and after seeing him today I could see that the life had been sucked out of him. I cant handle seeing somebody my age so helpless and depressed when we are JUST getting started with our adult lives. I'm sorry if this is in the wrong sub reddit. ",4.988954696591853,4.980034199501247,5.580614089775561,84.81170251454701,68.60099750623442,7.980091438071487,27.18214879467997,7.333567415737692,1.2949176226101402,1538,42,320,13,24,498,188,401,0.153,0.715,0.131,-0.9061,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,4,0,0,5,31,31,4,2,14,0,37,12,0,9,3,80,74,38,0,5,16,0,5,2,4,2,9,1,0,2,13,27,3,0,18,1,0,7,4,14,0,0,15,11,48,15,50,52,4,52,0,6,5,0,51,18,1,9,26,216,61,7,0.06806941583918986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067886013581527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327841381083426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601532934554335,0.060596211651088736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234117910605044,0.05683511896432448,0.2074724204904722,0.0,0.05792205932977716,0.0,0.0,0.12040373341471823,0.0743141722722597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869577937763092,0.0,0.07477105700582394,0.0,0.0,0.2345123524768085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069652005951785,0.0,0.07656893092619299,0.0602892983604967,0.07033390266369309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767176762158684,0.09725760855285928,0.0653573139154887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21036104729548566,0.0,0.07112692062888974,0.06529838622532877,0.07737083536343038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449223178129239,0.0,0.20161336705953373,0.0,0.07235460596767243,0.0,0.0,0.04562549459530413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104678514667198,0.06754839193722731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03740917077620436,0.0,0.0,0.07207568292594961,0.0,0.0,0.3846355316720306,0.06651055652005115,0.13644687429608918,0.06010654127551397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631059092100709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20579388320530306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249932984156097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285480283001115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04719076220414045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339034315284282,0.0,0.0,0.06842856381719557,0.0762533241575392,0.0,0.0,0.07747789751663824,0.04360701080359323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313281364186489,0.0,0.0,0.05413153158162224,0.06814936006063285,0.06888988288193229,0.27121255723428234,0.30983919835765555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619813810681661,0.14453964864701754,0.07255294036060958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116093288981147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415461885998952,0.0,0.05117972936774656,0.10942323605579167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904369413533634,0.0,0.0,0.09242933032200844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587901200348809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403033392264095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04955534543376012,0.0,0.0,0.04835456000521017,0.07442322050423701,0.0,0.04383447205697553
mentalhealth,mspolettiii,2019/03/10,"Panic Attacks in Crowds TLDR; I've started having anxiety attacks in crowds, and need tips for getting through an important life event that is going to be crowded. 

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Hello all,

​

I'm a 24 year old woman and have recently (within the last 8 weeks) started experiencing some severe panic attacks. I've always been an ""anxious"" person, but this is the first time I'd say I've ever had actual attacks. To give some reference, I'm in my last semester of graduate school and have been talking to a therapist on my campus for the last 3 months. She and my fiance are the only ones who knows the extent of my MH situation right now.

​

My first panic attacked happened in the middle of a class talking about mental health. My classes all have 100 people in them and are held in a large auditorium. Every time I'm in that auditorium now, or in any large group at all (watching a comedy show at a club, at a dance recital), I get feelings of anxiety about having an attack, and occasional have one and have to step out for a bit.

​

I've been working on strategies to help stop the attacks before they're full blown, such as deep breathing, repeating a mantra, full body scans, eating a small piece of candy, etc. These help, but simply knowing I have an exit plan and that I can leave makes me feel the most reassured. 

​

I'm graduating with my masters in 2 months. This will be in a very large hall with hundreds of people there, and I'm now so afraid I won't be able to sit through the ceremony without having a complete meltdown. 

​

Anyone have any tips to prepare for this? I can't exactly be whipping out starbursts or leaving to calm myself down at an event like this, but any advice would be so appreciated. Love this subreddit and the little community its built.",9.832021379980564,7.6589500641399475,9.56590087463557,67.20784062196309,60.02040816326532,11.8288824101069,40.359378036929066,10.203070172399654,4.131251273080661,1444,60,250,23,15,472,189,343,0.11,0.795,0.095,0.0693,0,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,0,0,1,5,10,15,7,4,27,0,28,6,2,1,5,38,48,18,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,3,2,1,0,2,11,14,1,2,5,3,0,3,3,11,0,4,5,6,16,4,46,35,12,56,0,0,2,1,18,29,0,5,24,165,27,9,0.058039343099063966,0.0,0.056638026588791385,0.0,0.0,0.056715374354291234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048293382893257714,0.3773136239955263,0.4231449275282187,0.11840623068372925,0.0,0.08879987722023197,0.06556793745973694,0.0,0.04058245817680886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621969212476159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938720617769424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336393060610641,0.06446862614975216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060853146994656514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059388737528231574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472920956293003,0.0,0.05249990864820444,0.048900649777303296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869287151604696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987364711813033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064632256742977,0.05567662650286901,0.03298509620038464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132399942462816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06169310767226501,0.0,0.0,0.07780509652491417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637938102145888,0.14192943310101008,0.0,0.12291056824466275,0.0,0.0,0.04099490445816194,0.028355091357743587,0.05817066926778421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05238277315415027,0.0,0.03874171220151041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584900068446728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265289986808142,0.0,0.0,0.04303543749410985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090252731408506,0.0,0.0786579219078625,0.04414153577980325,0.0,0.2042899915550728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804743453401449,0.05067771571227871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057306849391802576,0.0,0.0,0.04956528188501765,0.0,0.046155215161032326,0.0,0.05873891378889772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556793745973694,0.0,0.0,0.06523865339649755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216109154475397,0.0,0.0,0.04852348966056763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932996509835708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738815071999181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768641540219525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04788853642845817,0.0,0.0,0.04655566015486147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594785560870928,0.0,0.04225333302135868,0.0,0.0,0.04122948410747036,0.0,0.4231449275282187,0.03737543406118665
mentalhealth,luckydoggolad,2019/03/11,"I have trouble asking for help trigger warning 
I've been struggling for a couple of years now. My angry outbursts have become harder to contain, and even hurt? I began biting my fingers as a calming mechanism. Then, I broke down in front of my mom explaining to her how getting up everyday was a difficult task as it doesn't feel worth it. I have no motivation to do anything anymore and have trouble sleeping at night as well. I've had thoughts of suicide and self harm, and more.

I was supposed to see the doctor today for a physical but it ended up getting pushed back until tomorrow.
I want to ask for a screening, or help. Anything.

I'm a student athlete and was very close to calling 911 last week (to tell them that I'm dangerous to myself --> inpatient, etc etc).

I could go into detail, but I'm not good at explaining nor would that be a good idea.

So...how do you approach a doctor for help?
",4.2975228161668815,5.645181429378535,5.386666666666668,80.69335071707954,70.86440677966101,7.7060408518035635,32.259452411994786,8.139509932561175,2.51115332464146,711,33,130,10,13,235,113,177,0.18600000000000005,0.7290000000000001,0.085,-0.9378,0,0,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,1,1,1,6,12,1,1,9,0,15,4,2,3,0,23,30,15,1,3,4,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,7,0,1,6,0,1,4,4,8,1,0,7,4,14,4,27,20,3,25,0,2,2,0,14,8,0,1,13,90,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487172047679125,0.0,0.0,0.24042214467852985,0.0,0.27312943232855996,0.0,0.0,0.11232620322601833,0.0,0.0,0.16133345248537298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491636146119841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663268207470386,0.16163431011911047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990373417616569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938317584084347,0.0,0.3258347593695098,0.0964842047745977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386224007781254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526411341481988,0.0,0.08302040883709158,0.2450492925368741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937422503120861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638124392374247,0.16490609895414368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190743792335834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710866738484547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370858183933764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640653627470372,0.0,0.1523928921342569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461851070673294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527141257811295,0.0,0.15978738379106766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768001796426592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159708931844314,0.0,0.0,0.13846638975321035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053097704332873,0.08616153884092513,0.0,0.1171762518519568,0.0,0.13134311295372475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377076380042947,0.0,0.0,0.0940704795090848
mentalhealth,FiveInOneP-TVT,2019/03/11,"Disconnected Today I started really good, I was writing and having the time of my life feeling inspired but suddenly I am disconnected from my body. I'm in my skin physically but mentally. It's a very ""nothing matters"" sort of feeling.

I have depression and my therapist has suggested that many of my other symptoms are connected to D.I.D. My meds haven't been changed (dosage added or subtracted or dose change based on behavior) in over three years. I finally got my hands on a psychiatrist that will help me but I'm not going to see her for another week and a half. What do you suggest I do?",5.431172566371682,6.820709141592921,6.626714601769912,72.710514380531,68.20353982300885,10.959734513274336,35.36393805309734,10.9516,4.350239823008851,475,24,85,15,8,160,82,113,0.06,0.843,0.097,0.2887,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,11,6,3,0,0,15,19,8,0,0,6,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,3,5,16,2,12,15,0,13,0,1,1,0,6,5,0,3,7,59,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612900381821246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22894672218731466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4360835802433127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752609967183494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084353483529572,0.0,0.0,0.22578833813327506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713960894046975,0.17287904685723188,0.16484857863740027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815419129197004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558475281102898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20896773185594367,0.0,0.0,0.22894672218731466,0.0,0.2077149172792309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977724025766295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204221380321599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642465548933943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588888986721202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21423186462974886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393147976469817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018701086436248,0.0,0.19537242678384711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006603212197438,0.0,0.0,0.16533260328773236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273096744391674
mentalhealth,ScriptKid2,2019/03/11,"Is chronic fatigue a mental illness? I get very tired when I have to do things I \*don't\* want to do.  I don't work much at work. Instead I will look at my phone a bunch, then think for an hour, then text or get on reddit.  I get very tired and sometimes I fall asleep.

​

When I am out with my wife at the store I get tired too. It can be the mall, or eating, or going to a home store. Once I fell asleep on the floor of the store.   Often we will sit and watch TV and I will get drowsy.

​

However, even after getting drowsy, when I sit down to do the things I love to do, by myself , I get an \*opposite\* effect. I can work for 14 hours and not even sleep much.  I get a ""rush"" and just sit down forever and I can do a TON of stuff. Sometimes I get up and walk around and think about what I work on, or do a ton of tasks in a row.

​

My dad had ADHD but I am a very easy going person, so I don't think it is that.   I don't run around the office or anything.  Not sure if it's narcolepsy because it just happens sometimes.  Anyway I don't want to be at work because my drowsiness makes me afraid of being reprimanded.  I don't like work either.  I just want to stay home really and engage in the stuff that gives me CRAP LOADS of energy. Instead of being tired all the time.

​

Does this sound like a mental condition to anyone?",1.7511384976525832,3.2514149119718354,3.110211267605635,93.84036384976528,77.69718309859155,5.860093896713615,20.636150234741784,6.42735559955562,0.049976995305164085,1041,25,238,8,24,339,132,284,0.112,0.84,0.048,-0.9058,1,0,0,0,0,0,57.0,1,0,0,7,17,8,1,1,19,0,28,13,4,2,2,38,50,22,0,4,13,2,0,2,0,3,7,1,2,1,12,14,1,0,4,2,3,7,8,3,0,0,1,3,33,5,35,42,7,36,0,1,2,1,7,16,1,7,11,168,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636002376831807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114348749225654,0.3492640583273274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05024517529677605,0.0,0.059133471368941634,0.12793870494384849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876086212846267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288390928883313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352924543800661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492380110363906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378881813549189,0.06893327768322377,0.08167775020175824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635442864694613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415998747287864,0.0,0.1415324117599065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702129244916014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060343091578614325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485515510653811,0.0,0.04796614617037978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448330524590862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564861813711167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765270202003626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274412206648274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0460344329840947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191045446242171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132098570178118,0.0,0.0,0.07659166288358131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452171625206233,0.0,0.0,0.06772584151278198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547926729116234,0.13813218939269642,0.0,0.0,0.04190130366520257,0.3303633713216325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778725106106767,0.1271521197924526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31388332100756394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492640583273274,0.0
mentalhealth,maxipadsforeveryone,2019/03/11,"Can I stop my medication I have selective mutism so I have no say in what medication I take. I don’t want my depression to get better and this medication is kinda making me feel a little better which scares me. It hasn’t helped my anxiety at all though. This medication has been giving me nightmares every night. Instead on the numbness and sadness of depression i’m just kinda bored. I don’t like taking this medication.
",3.0319444444444485,5.859993750000001,4.986666666666668,75.14277777777781,80.25,8.055555555555555,25.13888888888889,8.841846274778883,2.524972222222222,340,13,58,9,9,116,55,80,0.254,0.615,0.131,-0.8746,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,4,9,0,1,2,0,9,6,0,1,1,10,17,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,2,12,3,5,16,1,6,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,2,3,42,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647411593168742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26931309527875136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262272795599669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828080690180912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698434429553629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954658302094976,0.14605618955749916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205284192278426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438375595643168,0.15259879829149264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163092156444324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7669009014556529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428803381824484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107872330015396,0.1524331063388073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729140483197227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22895255721151506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495890679408886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980352564686858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,johnstamos1488,2019/03/11,"Chronic Fatigue A Mental Illness? Need help.  I get so tired when I have to do things I don't want to do.  Often I don't work at work.  Instead I will look at my phone a bunch, then think for an hour, then text or get on reddit.  I get very tired and sometimes I fall asleep. 

When I am out with my wife at the store I get tired too.  It can be the mall, or eating, or going to a home store.  Once I fell asleep on the floor of the store.   Often she will sit with me and we will watch TV and.. well I don't focus well right there so I will get drowsy.

However, even after getting drowsy, when I sit down to do the things I love to do, by myself , I get an opposite effect.  I can work for 14 hours and not even sleep much.  I get a ""rush"" and just sit down forever and I can do a TON of stuff. Sometimes I get up and walk around.  

​

Does this sound like a mental condition to anyone?",0.10457894736842377,1.8818396684210548,1.8489473684210544,99.61763157894735,83.89473684210526,4.842105263157895,16.315789473684212,5.750287758089431,-0.8334210526315791,667,12,166,4,19,218,100,190,0.08800000000000001,0.8370000000000001,0.075,-0.3096,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,4,16,5,0,0,13,0,18,11,3,1,0,23,33,17,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,4,6,1,1,0,5,12,1,0,2,2,3,5,4,1,2,0,0,3,25,4,24,28,3,28,0,1,2,1,6,12,0,5,9,116,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525333887550796,0.1404675358390256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083071582617282,0.0,0.0,0.10290915537066836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116297478796228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182884029721712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270637920613878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5435694752143543,0.0,0.0656985568951042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774847302205464,0.0,0.11595695419608346,0.0,0.2276868592374467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056476675754272065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707549548098927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043341690284701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329966854809391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497983517450942,0.08571647393526495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311100093298312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987223888074256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568421197161015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286641488415239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233517462181066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535999720593738,0.07407227779449799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985980887062709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538270605776317,0.06818430360681609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078778724422548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524761170906465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404675358390256,0.0
mentalhealth,xXMystroXx,2019/03/11,"Ive recently been diagnosed with major deppression with psychotic features and social anxiety, and my life is falling to pieces. Should i just end it? Im sorry if this is long but i really would like to just kill myself and be done with this life and need to see if there are any logical options that i can pull my life back together. I am a 21 year old college student majoring in graphic design. Ive dealt with depression my whole life but due to a big mental breakdown where police were called last week, ive noticed how crazy i really have become. Leading up to that event i had found my girlfriend for two years had been cheating on me which was the last thing tieing me to this world. On the early morning in question i had blacked, out went to the closest CVS to buy the highest alcohol content wine so that i could jump off a building in the city i live in. I drank a lot and dont remember much besides blasting Nirvana in my ears, crying, laughing, ranting/yelling, and updating social media of my final thoughts and words all at 3 a.m. in the lonely streets. For some reason i came back to my dorm and woke up to campus police, 50 missed calls from my mom, a crying roommate, and my very upset ex girlfriend who said i called her saying how i wanted to kill myself. Of course my mother came and got me to get me evaluated and from what i described to the psychologist sounded like schizophrenia (runs in my family but maybe a little unlikely) or major depression with psychotic features. Either with social anxiety regardless. I do have to go back in a day to get evaluated for medication and schedule private counseling sessions but im unsure i want to deal anymore.

I had scheduled a class trip to go visit a print shop and see some design studios in Nashville this weekend and i figured i would go and just take a break from school, responsibility, and conversations about my freak out. I told some of the people i was going with about my breakdown before hand and the diagnoses and they seemed okay and supportive. Little did i know that i was going to have another freak out sunday night. Im not going to lie i did have a lot of drinks so i could be myself around this group i was with but i kinda ruined the trip for everyone. After the little clique i was with tried to get rid of me at a weird club i had a big anxiety attack. Blurry vision, fast heartbeat, sweating etc. I stayed for 10 min in this club alone and i had to get out of there because i was convinced someone had given me a drug. I saw these patterns and ravens kept flying by the corner of my eyes which i now believe was me hallucinating. Now somehow i made it back to our hostel after peeing myself, falling around in the streets, and asking them if they wanted LSD in our group chat (thats what i thought i was on). I made it back BEFORE they even did and they all proceeded to get very annoyed with me in that moment. Avoiding eye contact, refusing to talk to me, etc. When they went to sleep i walked outside in the streets at 4 a.m. and sat by the river listening to Radiohead trying not to jump in the water so i could drown and stop runing everyones time. The next day i helped everyone pack up and things went back to kinda normal but i know that they know now that i am insane and not okay.

Long story short to top all this off. My major is difficult and requires a lot of time. Apart from two people in my life i dont really have people id consider close friends and im tired of always going to them to complain about my life because i can tell they are also tired. The break up fucked with me but i cant let her go because shes one of those two people. Im expected to graduate in two months and somehow i have to get my life together between now and then. Im stressed out all the time yet i have no motivation to do anything anymore. And i realized how easy it would be to just off myself before i ruin more peoples lives. I dont believe people genuinely would care that long besides my mom if i were to die. im breaking so much now idk if im living in a dream or if any of this is real. I see no other options anymore so now im here to ask i guess if this life is really worth all the pain that comes with it? Is life worth living knowing that one day we have to meet our ends? And why not just get it done and over with? ",4.288525124664364,5.222412638665137,5.307521864211741,82.8066836401995,70.48446490218642,8.04879938626774,28.17723436900652,8.291686609442984,1.8738055082470269,3409,119,675,49,60,1123,364,869,0.165,0.774,0.061,-0.9985,0,4,4,0,1,2,64.0,4,0,9,4,40,30,6,3,36,2,66,29,7,8,5,146,122,61,4,22,26,4,1,2,3,5,17,5,2,0,36,59,5,5,15,8,4,25,10,21,0,6,43,13,107,9,119,67,23,136,0,6,7,1,50,55,1,24,54,477,143,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047520177988461816,0.0,0.04605292670678554,0.0,0.03555910512930003,0.036998921364811414,0.0,0.0,0.060476233053212515,0.04662603354893695,0.10204813198957832,0.0,0.13229370965543788,0.0,0.0,0.036591380404402366,0.0791675799284425,0.08313862245373535,0.050586012054387716,0.0,0.2051476998737126,0.0,0.08131740739851241,0.04910873530174481,0.11351079060883175,0.10019495481813162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621297419322628,0.10171354655063164,0.045335618292802866,0.0,0.0,0.03830315654507226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650643291833994,0.0,0.097686694771064,0.08602985408630119,0.04584205646557532,0.07659627104997926,0.09026324746420766,0.046148247765957946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910074449041391,0.15633997202389274,0.04355933634057712,0.0515659513711934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876660465619363,0.0,0.09918174255544243,0.029369093638559825,0.0,0.0,0.12746629043561208,0.0,0.0,0.04191818779694286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048709865139690604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04875420907221379,0.03435399378076677,0.04110770858078978,0.16261999778394193,0.0,0.20216649278452664,0.0,0.035563183201949795,0.0,0.048983845149756115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029804338354900792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4322740725156983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838914362722026,0.0,0.0977484709616728,0.07249075849947224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0454690641807072,0.2826661625221378,0.043447268863149605,0.13369856628604568,0.1570556733166993,0.1180519067524394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340912804737187,0.0,0.08414880644641652,0.0,0.0,0.0446716477558864,0.0,0.0,0.044794389888636064,0.044810842277430464,0.0,0.0,0.10415509059339624,0.03549199860380338,0.0,0.06537462939280317,0.03297066124492026,0.0,0.0,0.04728964461615714,0.04172793097397911,0.043566823626462234,0.0,0.050624353087338994,0.046659142185019764,0.0,0.060262050265167615,0.0,0.04731450800945287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18496099031035487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498116216390811,0.0,0.0,0.050611560336923545,0.11394314658190005,0.04571801794545649,0.04390439201575192,0.0,0.05037082965700545,0.0,0.042296945370225374,0.035360810819434214,0.0,0.04500153690068534,0.106299921483903,0.04047979045651038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444976885911344,0.13598116540640373,0.037675538319614,0.0,0.0,0.04977557197555863,0.0,0.047394387772250114,0.0,0.03717521264281172,0.05093516717057265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05045900879905831,0.0,0.0,0.033432579405847505,0.03573974573012798,0.038864873396902186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059081905886883564,0.0,0.0,0.0706014011150912,0.07778470499158427,0.10221327711584204,0.0,0.04248876347853736,0.0,0.060378414727750934,0.0,0.1737456269321342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337751416208188,0.07868084651285112,0.0,0.03566760301227696,0.0,0.0,0.12366010353387186,0.04012326623776073,0.04964422774037164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634827788110958,0.0,0.0,0.05726874627366806
mentalhealth,throwaway0311191,2019/03/11,"My therapist wants to see me twice a week. What do I do? I’ll try to be brief. My wife has begged me for 2 years to see a therapist. I finally cracked in December and have been going about 2 times a month. Its very difficult for me to open up to anyone about anything, including my wife. Things have been very slow going, I guess mostly my fault, but so far therapy has been nothing but a long series of questions with few “revelations” or whatever. 

Anyway, I went in today and got into another long series of questions. I let slip that I’m a cutter. My therapist asked to see me twice a week. She’s not charging me more so I don’t think she’s trying to scam me or anything like that. I don’t know what to do. I hate going to therapy. I find it extremely difficult, frustrating, and emasculating. The only reason I went in the first place is because my wife begged me. I’m so lost at this point I’m asking strangers on the internet for advice. What do I do? Why does she want me to go more? Am I mentally deranged and I can’t see it, or am I “broken” somehow? ",1.498595456531234,3.4928877018348663,3.7227916120576654,86.86163608562694,80.23853211009174,7.455133245958932,23.683704674530357,8.418075326091056,1.5737686325906508,821,29,174,18,21,282,115,218,0.145,0.833,0.022,-0.9821,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,7,7,2,0,9,0,20,0,0,1,0,24,43,12,0,2,6,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,6,0,0,7,4,6,0,3,7,4,31,1,25,34,4,29,0,1,4,0,10,11,0,8,12,117,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886061061927263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681456603231913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789477241146413,0.0,0.18334848140052534,0.0,0.20829140639348556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790954132352309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748852050897533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220352949777234,0.101819284017477,0.09475836724663733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532489826323527,0.0,0.08909824611401762,0.0,0.12272171098915058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099862755198732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122355016391316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139159520097346,0.0,0.05442532284256491,0.0,0.0,0.19717428522130026,0.0,0.0,0.12160829254289245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226687530018482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891990373085241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689309149636354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472613631436378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639123552885315,0.0,0.10531076823083874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495911628008512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453966849981045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35509144433596035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547954768429048,0.3880384456279356,0.07401044728901217,0.07138181521501391,0.0,0.0,0.06495932183470814,0.0,0.10559593967606573,0.0,0.0,0.15126910391678425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383640685149752,0.1314154095309238,0.0,0.1787197087189144,0.0,0.0,0.20654128506212652,0.10052285336353864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173914693121106
mentalhealth,TurbulentNet7,2019/03/11,"hurts when I concentrate, and i feel mentally exhausted  Hey everyone, 

​

​

Hoping someone could give me some insights on what’s going on with me— need some advice— 

So I had this office job that i’ve been working at for a year and a half. I started to experience this weird thing from the beginning of this year and until the end of my time there (last month).

it’s starting to become really hard for me to focus and stay on task— and I feel like I don’t have the mental energy to focus on the tasks that I need to do. When I do try and focus on my tasks that I have to do on the computer— my brain starts to hurt— I feel it in my frontal cortex area and I just have to look away from my screen. It even got to a point where my brain felt like it was vibrating . it was a little scary. It’s hard to explain but I felt that if I continued to focus my brain would break. 

I thought that I was burning out and it was the job and because of my boss that I hate— so my thinking at the time was to find another job. It was not as easy as I'm making it sound but I was able to interview and  find a new job under the mental exhaustion and distress I was in. 

​

The thing is— now I’m at my new job and I’m starting to experience the same symptoms all over again! I felt the two weeks that I had in between these jobs were going to give me the break that I needed but I am starting to feel the same things all over again.

My brain is hurting when I focus on things, and I feel the exact same feelings of mental exhaustion . and it’s starting to hurt to focus. 

It’s also sort of affected my conversations with people as well. Like it’s hard for me to talk to someone because I can’t focus on the thread of what they are trying to say sometimes. Or sometimes I don’t get the nuances in their communication right away— like sarcasm for example. I’m still able to catch these things, but I’ve honestly felt like I’m slower overall. I don't feel on point as I used to, and I feel like I feel anxious about doing little things right. 

​

​

​

I won’t be able to see a doctor until next month because I just started. Can anyone help me as to something I can do in the meantime, or something I can take? Can anyone relate to my situation?

Anything helps-",3.4499136420525645,4.489845623404253,4.664155193992492,86.24411764705884,72.55319148936171,7.401752190237797,26.376720901126408,7.724431198458867,1.354187734668336,1793,59,376,22,34,592,186,470,0.092,0.835,0.073,-0.7632,7,0,2,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,2,1,17,17,0,1,23,0,35,9,4,4,3,66,79,35,0,7,10,0,16,6,0,2,5,2,0,0,33,18,0,0,19,0,0,3,6,8,1,2,18,21,54,9,71,57,7,66,0,3,3,0,12,30,0,7,36,264,87,10,0.14516482930972946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03869608718412745,0.0,0.3145720638157336,0.3527823133873613,0.0,0.050739326895295006,0.0,0.054664979198034334,0.0,0.06766841593584133,0.0,0.03981942855894921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092475711364056,0.0,0.0,0.08849113257597853,0.053441049650395464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21606927786818006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03863410134471732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049527451319669305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04285765052144559,0.0,0.0,0.031960000225654865,0.0,0.0,0.04623707176917972,0.0,0.09466603867450098,0.0,0.0,0.22019909824226408,0.06913718870945007,0.18584133469669065,0.0,0.0884520160709805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025280877285652,0.092836887890976,0.055000345214348975,0.0,0.038700525019506736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003917378320798,0.047773405125306326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486728342869169,0.0,0.0,0.048060476657582576,0.0,0.0,0.20720260286197031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28810738757857424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03944290359303431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184040608395573,0.09699553009157344,0.0,0.0,0.04063396530789138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032299550262539195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19505600641595974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724612120117999,0.0,0.0,0.1076378815562911,0.0,0.09346739781776238,0.05146148094332658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03354633822892331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914851234114214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03099876893790248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264664737557137,0.0,0.03848029958557055,0.0,0.0,0.03855919146868197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439045010401978,0.0,0.0,0.08199845919763821,0.07450331847634473,0.09571448536159773,0.0,0.23974629780430595,0.0515754644163464,0.0386429400679348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050293946757743936,0.03638196188500105,0.03889266368438566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19288212452675946,0.031005253707590462,0.0,0.03841488646771382,0.056431186236757976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570492682109988,0.0,0.047268314986974286,0.0,0.0,0.0417919346730975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03881415662158102,0.0,0.0435068717148657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0352272415474186,0.0,0.0,0.03437364325306926,0.0,0.3527823133873613,0.06232092710638909
mentalhealth,throwaway0595x,2019/03/11,"Going too far with setting boundaries? I don't know if this question is going to make sense.  I'm asking particularly in the context of romantic relationships, but I think this is an important thing to think about in all kinds of relationships.  Apologies if this isn't the most appropriate place to post this either.

How do you know when you're drawing too many boundaries?  Like at what point do you come to the conclusion that if you need all these boundaries the relationship just isn't working and you should let it go.

Every time I talk to someone about this I feel like I'm not getting my point across well, but I don't know how to state it better.  Like I feel like there's a certain point where you've set so many boundaries that it's turned into something that feels like ""punishing"" (again, I feel like that's not the word I want, but I can't think of a better one) the other person, or it just doesn't make sense to continue the relationship.  But does that point actually exist, and how do you decide where that point is?",6.230223880597018,6.508002034825871,6.147475124378111,80.82180970149255,65.96517412935323,9.088059701492536,29.68532338308458,8.841846274778883,2.106744278606965,823,26,163,12,12,259,101,201,0.006999999999999999,0.81,0.183,0.988,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,5,0,4,16,12,1,0,10,0,14,0,0,5,3,44,37,15,0,6,13,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,19,5,0,0,13,0,0,4,8,1,1,1,0,4,15,11,18,35,4,26,0,0,0,0,14,14,0,6,10,107,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.09904990994432993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948893268369978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953800302121609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743374939407011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882382855446352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551860381413172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052869419426089,0.2900480960678417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053029856004441774,0.0,0.1730553307519225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569721926577808,0.16734616839592995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379120472958248,0.0,0.29752829481564924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550483079183287,0.2058112838171154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526138294249815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877940979430029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862637842115317,0.10604648727749676,0.0,0.4797542096976266,0.0,0.097209484056679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137038624526615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358944857380636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600109946154312,0.07814009391390732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158230948665282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743246534993984,0.1951123911860287,0.0,0.0,0.059185795779197636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040346825158256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598676631086771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126119778890997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389362028799222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TubsAlwaysWins,2019/03/11,"What else can I say besides ""I'm sorry"" I've got a friend who has expressed her dislike of  the phrase ""I'm sorry"" when your trying to comfort them.
(Ie I'm so sorry that happened to you)
What else can you say? I like genuinely feel sorry that happened to them but out of their dislike of the phrase, I don't know what else to say and I feel like whatever I do say just comes out weird.

Any tips?

Sorry if that didn't make alot of sense",0.8547311827956996,2.70569189247312,2.3969892473118293,96.28215053763441,81.68817204301075,4.993548387096775,20.010752688172047,5.82211442006289,-0.2185569892473116,338,9,78,2,9,110,52,93,0.149,0.754,0.097,-0.2047,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,3,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,1,0,12,17,5,0,1,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,6,12,4,10,15,1,4,0,0,0,0,14,2,0,2,3,45,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007921771721944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410493688138275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3319669109404557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395430091507746,0.09463142071495947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234039816966768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594256820020727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342727587016157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279806754443761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294292251205063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841991949205591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4213588070088333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7414060629471194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993351753400479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mkmk96,2019/03/11,"Please help a student out and take my survey! Hi all, I am in the process of developing a prototype of a product designed to reduce anxiety for my uni capstone class. Unfortunately, it is only a project at this point in my life and would not go to market for many years. :( BUT, it is super beneficial to gather information to help with the ideation of the project. I am in the process of gathering information, if y'all are feeling friendly please click over to [https://iastate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_cAXdObrKX8Id6vj](https://iastate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cAXdObrKX8Id6vj) to help me out!!",13.06065217391304,14.163435065217396,10.312086956521744,53.9024782608696,51.60869565217391,11.273043478260867,40.13913043478261,10.793553405168565,4.3903930434782605,494,20,71,9,5,146,60,92,0.046,0.6809999999999999,0.273,0.9792,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,8,0,6,1,0,0,1,13,9,4,0,2,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,2,20,8,1,10,0,0,1,0,10,8,0,1,1,50,10,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19681740393195649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008777672575775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19877278707999116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462173418664686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5173452122933767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172346454676652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608400912740706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19567194797361795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5648292270926403,0.2432114110086356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344146797552045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18276331638074253,0.0,0.0,0.16567896562534373
mentalhealth,Rizev-C,2019/03/11,"The dog scale. I have a fair share of mental problems, one of the big ones is not understanding my own emotions. So I’ve developed a system to determine my mood, it involves dogs.


Step one: locate, or visualize dog

Step two: look at dog for a bit 

Then I see what happens 


If I feel an urge to hug the dog and be freinds, I’m in a good mood.

If I feel the urge to just pet the dog, I’m in a moderately good mood, or I’m neutral. 

If I don’t feel any urge to pet the dog, I’m in a bad mood.

If I get annoyed at the sight of the dog, I’m in a very bad mood.


If I feel any violent urges whatsoever, I need to GTFO and cool the hell down, as things have gotten WAY out of hand.


",1.9343708609271493,1.9820546556291416,4.365225165562915,90.66081788079471,75.29139072847683,7.894304635761589,24.37152317880795,7.908726449838941,0.8690577483443702,507,14,133,7,10,180,80,151,0.134,0.745,0.121,-0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,2,16,3,0,17,1,5,2,1,0,0,19,21,12,0,7,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,6,0,4,1,9,10,5,19,19,2,14,1,0,3,1,2,9,1,7,1,72,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627243415433453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32257763165777786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21089152382386125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21729016184731845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3906900658850347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009233112452002,0.0,0.0,0.3240435307183139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17081952372367054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221408306200025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194669846929483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432330492244545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926908144734501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848375268102128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539314177267759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833351250233696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18869894472269835,0.20109670089614096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938541571659948,0.0,0.15332929245194876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BipolarBilbo909,2019/03/11,"Are there chat rooms or real time options or resources available? I am swinging wildly between depression and mania at the moment and it is coinciding with some of the worst panic attacks o have ever had. I am home alone and wondering if there are chat rooms or anything just for not being on my own in my head.
Reddit has been an awesome resource over the last few days. Thank you all for being out there. I just feel like I maybe need more at the moment.",5.14419475655431,6.120346359550562,5.442191011235956,82.46455992509364,68.5505617977528,7.281647940074906,28.316479400749067,7.1686216300943375,1.5444591760299629,362,12,67,3,6,115,67,89,0.158,0.752,0.09,-0.7845,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,6,6,1,1,5,0,11,1,1,0,2,20,15,7,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,7,2,11,11,6,14,0,1,0,0,3,8,0,7,7,55,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644051311121193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21008325475162293,0.0,0.0,0.290431078025469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464197808803188,0.0,0.21988230214568716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23092589013022805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908311602943906,0.1823803875908976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620028584276432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25607831463419106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080967473305648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247225924789266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564747503908202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929550481819746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995297157605335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905777591916104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350382283776491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886259927816942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276852876816969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OnMyWorstBehavior300,2019/03/11,"How to get help with depression? (Posted this in r/advice was told to try here instead sorry if repost.)

I'm currently an (18M) college student and think I have pretty serious depression. I come from a family where if I were to tell them I think I'm depressed they'd simply ask ""what do you have to be depressed about"" I feel it getting worse by the day and have no idea how to get around this to see a doctor for help.",4.973103448275861,4.598907229885062,6.11554022988506,82.20848275862069,68.65517241379311,9.258850574712644,28.894252873563207,8.841846274778883,2.043705287356321,327,10,69,5,5,110,63,87,0.232,0.677,0.091,-0.9062,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,2,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,2,0,13,20,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,2,8,0,13,15,0,7,0,4,1,0,8,3,0,2,2,46,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17266877544836814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573000804113891,0.16519024591992446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221103411259534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395660511358248,0.0,0.6087643253091585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085949801786794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16657662940104334,0.0,0.08934461217619945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276954698061669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368759951521421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947230737960947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922934446206506,0.17976698804873606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080668048087314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19780070279665796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544432131444957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22644390018286495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884401210180852,0.0,0.11996740964384653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18007195841444434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CarlMarcs21,2019/03/11,I just need someone to talk to I don't know what's wrong with me but I hope that me actually talking to someone about what I'm thinking/feeling would help me figure it out. Anyone that's willing to try and help me can like dm me if you want. If not that's cool too I guess it doesn't really matter,0.1261038961038956,2.0860729090909125,2.390173160173159,94.71954545454548,85.06060606060606,4.983549783549783,20.034632034632033,6.18269132825596,-0.06157316017315927,236,7,55,2,7,80,45,66,0.057,0.688,0.255,0.9267,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,16,11,4,0,6,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,10,3,7,9,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,4,1,36,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.2506351587696807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958589769123992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986413949302475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28293411678224395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34430388724863104,0.0,0.0,0.2550963761942993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115050183281408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547723238971908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904408461715979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453589669705715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43523309067167626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4128705437991155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743749739478476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148869147732116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18244912327706103,0.28081015174143586,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BVBBQ,2019/03/11,"Life has been spiraling downwards for the last year, finances are shot, and my last good thing going for me (work) is starting to suffer also. I've dealt with depression for a long long while and though its always there, I normally can push it down and bounce back after a short period. This time however, I'll be honest, things aren't looking so good for me. I guess I should add that I live in Canada.

I'm starting to really feel like there isn't much point in trying to fix all the damage in my situation since it is rapidly becoming a mountain of shit to deal with. Financially, I'm honestly screwed. I've really only got a couple friends at work. I've pushed away my family (they were the original cause of my depression years ago.) My health isn't good due to some conditions i've largely neglected. Even the last few things that brought me happyness generally just don't anymore and have been slowly replaced with drinking more and more and being a hermit. 

Frankly I'm not even sure what I'm expecting to get out of posting this. ",5.150959488272925,6.359866189054728,5.742619047619049,79.46250000000002,68.70149253731344,9.52395167022033,29.78002842928216,9.784248007369934,2.8170565742715,828,31,156,19,14,268,127,201,0.124,0.767,0.109,-0.6229,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,11,16,2,0,9,0,16,5,1,2,2,25,29,10,0,3,2,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,11,11,1,1,1,1,1,4,5,7,0,0,5,2,13,9,24,21,6,32,0,5,1,1,3,10,2,2,18,96,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516182011319982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389298869931393,0.10809969782039963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12884078336847316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205943094900445,0.09989662557203492,0.0,0.0,0.14348092459553424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345850475463428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437484905020172,0.0,0.0,0.13393667351901326,0.2237912201015428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272672532597638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161528122853809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224723118100928,0.0,0.06568893391792198,0.0928113110133721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037201652469592,0.0,0.06787523207835698,0.0,0.07383369559592813,0.3268996465676573,0.10390490359858308,0.0,0.1431160332097123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809358337380614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176942245680164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176281549582957,0.06346991293231273,0.0,0.1147173363455236,0.2299413960609433,0.10909589071508767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550248252917766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272891288526681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988062213341296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281167922110756,0.0,0.12442267031635483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645376756744382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333558935821414,0.10746704098957964,0.1460299174725188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18390902928073952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244336196530482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258929285129092,0.0,0.12764084033878462,0.0,0.07575448863973525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820376576102265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891593530156808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732201746358155
mentalhealth,ladylairy,2019/03/11,"I feel so lonely, yet i push everyone away. I can feel an ""episode"" coming. I'm starting to get erratic, mad, aggressive, i can't sleep, barely eat, paranoia is out of control and somehow everyone annoys me. At the same time I feel so terribly lonely. I wish someone could actually see me.

I wish someone could get inside my head and understands. When i feel like this I think I'm really losing my mind. And all I do is sleep. To not be mad, or lonely.. To not feel. ",1.3003225806451653,3.5888089784946264,3.7703333333333333,84.5955,82.87096774193549,7.160860215053764,24.35376344086021,8.238735603445708,1.8004976344086017,357,14,71,8,10,124,59,93,0.251,0.6659999999999999,0.083,-0.945,0,6,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,4,0,2,0,8,4,3,1,1,24,24,7,0,4,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,1,7,0,0,2,3,9,0,0,0,6,14,1,7,21,2,9,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,2,5,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.15791309135058104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203532670543604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939370225525355,0.0,0.0,0.18149502104909612,0.2584003919888984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558237811815396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30925211286708354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.409105566505368,0.11560432391146545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908866449740664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607412513751432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905713531190643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18103531892990526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339218843083173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366611058526094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894968232054926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238739630881708,0.0,0.2742193200004719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453711168970875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103687796957805,0.0,0.0,0.09435861154028533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684604486804334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721702969464144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,momof1Ab,2019/03/11,Ever just feel like starting a new life I've been feeling exceptionally depressed lately and can't seem to curb this feeling of wanting a different life. Anyone else ever feel like that? ,8.265,8.918097264705883,8.045882352941177,67.65647058823532,61.647058823529406,9.15294117647059,37.588235294117645,8.841846274778883,3.563870588235295,153,7,23,2,2,49,28,34,0.098,0.6829999999999999,0.219,0.3415,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,2,12,9,1,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,2,3,8,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551601136629361,0.2273663985834015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19112519258791813,0.0,0.0,0.231841968015925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853719324118253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014489096574338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488043861689036,0.3170558645458785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503168569133582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134740634792065,0.2168217203020296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21431582029248475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20201264737472388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706446671138238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088445635459922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iri4irjrj,2019/03/11,"Is this normal? Is it normal for what you want to say to just come to you? Not have to consciously think about it? I say this because a few days ago I felt like that, talking felt very natural and smooth, even though the topic was sad I still enjoyed being able to talk easily. I ask this because if it's normal I might start going to therapy more because I never saw the way I think as a problem but apparently when I describe it to other people it is.",3.1918894009216565,4.416788956989251,4.817235023041476,84.18870967741938,73.40860215053762,7.464823348694317,25.1136712749616,7.957251820313856,1.3891671274961594,355,11,72,5,7,120,62,93,0.044,0.851,0.104,0.5084,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,0,1,18,17,6,0,6,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,11,2,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,4,6,10,2,10,11,2,9,0,1,1,0,7,0,0,2,7,54,21,0,0.16800065577430062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892244476438984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705793472747198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072349213029087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447176891548752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834652462693982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096284868700512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226139511286162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547864425316666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207663437041819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782221468530466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957246264504632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938149182264273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647050145860385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075393859184975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26720172904859874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189117288516798,0.0,0.13416554071665052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700651267192936,0.0,0.0,0.19212339128024447,0.0,0.0,0.21529607330201894,0.1650597913123309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861813546580626,0.0990911395225826,0.1333511007667868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotDelnor,2019/03/11,"I think I need to quit my job This is going to be kind of a long one, and it would mean a lot if I could maybe get a little advice? Sorry if this is the wrong sub for this, if so just let me know. 

A little background:
I have been a wreck lately. I got divorced last year and ever since then I feel like my life has been a slow and steady spiral in DEEP depression. I have to force myself to shower. I can hardly bring myself to get up to eat in the evenings. I know that I am in a hole and I know that I really need therapy. I have been avoiding the therapy thing because I am massively in debt and struggling to make enough money to live.

My job is incredibly stressful and my work hours are 2AM-10AM. My boss is incredibly bad, she is a micromanager that has no idea how to actually do my jo, which means she is very controlling but also rarely is telling me to do things that actually need done. On top of that we have been short staffed for over a year and corporate will not allow her to hire anyone new, which means that i am often doing the work of 2-3 people and typically at least 2 days a week i dont even get to take my days off because there is too much work to be done. 

For my own sanity, and the fact that i have recently started having suicidal thoughts, I know that I need to get out of this toxic work environment ASAP, but I am having a hard time finding another job that would even come close to supporting my financial needs. 

What am I supposed to do? ",4.785398391812869,4.632150134868424,5.940745614035087,82.55133040935675,69.03289473684211,9.387134502923976,27.744152046783622,9.150863307647796,1.92987485380117,1147,33,251,20,18,385,163,304,0.101,0.872,0.027000000000000003,-0.947,6,1,0,0,1,0,24.0,1,0,0,7,11,9,0,3,16,0,42,2,0,5,2,50,69,18,1,11,7,0,3,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,19,13,1,2,12,0,2,3,3,6,0,1,8,3,38,3,33,54,5,35,0,1,0,0,6,16,0,5,17,182,57,9,0.0,0.0,0.17363181410778425,0.0,0.0,0.0869344672655537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114437725929702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328637795715833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062205608657162174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428111810168615,0.10846310274440812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663449936537182,0.0,0.0,0.09978054854971684,0.0710304136969672,0.0,0.0,0.1147486768376684,0.0,0.07662445363037129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208185976901192,0.10426499682647028,0.0,0.0,0.09103225214275547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919234625618309,0.0,0.1762793976384678,0.08047291659067679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04498280735712952,0.06355580879259948,0.0,0.0,0.0813113683917954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859198076020641,0.0,0.050560219314968034,0.0,0.07115253640554188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938831221010696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761149469813863,0.0,0.0,0.10042938412719836,0.0,0.0,0.26484875041175016,0.0,0.0,0.0926421838120806,0.1955688724260532,0.07251743051106088,0.10035512396742187,0.0,0.0,0.09097158783768018,0.06283781461812618,0.04346325470855389,0.17833034519652813,0.07855672993264745,0.07873022825551468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563390361963787,0.0,0.0,0.05938407617931695,0.0,0.08937616819047807,0.29072321571608656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065398683119221,0.32982792361727586,0.0,0.08592186310918899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028422288601331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06167634808321031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462402993182202,0.0,0.0,0.05699253522450533,0.0,0.0878410921070951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359183524146205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958777247204996,0.06296908734817462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190781617737278,0.09300435640034868,0.0,0.09731203786401844,0.10095514904204952,0.0,0.0,0.06688976095861161,0.0,0.07775834642153873,0.0,0.20347588457389326,0.0,0.11820728857856574,0.057004457745222364,0.0,0.07062737796272935,0.051875549893638254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340451244363648,0.0,0.0,0.0713614528659603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259067036987858,0.0,0.0,0.1263947660514861,0.0972680295655429,0.0,0.1145796350961491
mentalhealth,IMnotweirdihaveOCD,2019/03/11,"Nobody seems to want to help me People always spoke about the system and how it is not at all equipped for treating mental illness and I recently encountered this for myself and it is incredibly frustrating. Being diagnosed with mdd, ocd, and generalized anxiety they wouldn’t place me on meds until I see my family doctor. Not sure about elsewhere, but in Canada it is growing increasingly difficult to attain/see a family doctor, and while I have one the visits regarding mental illness are limited and put me on a waiting list of almost two months. Just for a prescription for my meds. Does anybody else feel like it’s a never ending battle crying out for help in our health system? Dealing with this is hard enough but being blown off makes it much more difficult. ",8.212214285714285,8.589833364285719,8.260714285714286,67.00678571428574,61.78571428571429,11.285714285714285,33.214285714285715,10.9516,3.9200714285714287,621,22,96,15,8,202,96,140,0.136,0.746,0.118,-0.2073,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,1,1,4,7,2,0,6,0,9,6,0,2,3,27,16,11,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,7,9,0,2,2,0,0,4,4,4,0,2,1,4,11,3,21,12,5,20,0,0,1,0,7,8,0,2,7,74,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781252315630653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113490140884285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056271943229525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311498031862288,0.0,0.16247753537780651,0.0,0.15995955585232766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32261828376819673,0.13791585062132547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165364989190548,0.0,0.13958583865262233,0.16284178214049838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29714041497531,0.0,0.0796867340673834,0.11258867845851864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117764980405131,0.0,0.0,0.16752025034338752,0.0,0.0,0.21127042776132726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769948569942811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519848280630828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501136771800504,0.0,0.3176452267977085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257939303641175,0.0,0.11585331766209694,0.0,0.12154997958039855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679308651053383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925922672932477,0.0,0.16465729676706878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584304134890423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15560989093796956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558591088024645,0.1434721103954584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485350886564407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539512154510558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295590852944877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,91000105,2019/03/11,Any tips for mental exhaustion? This is not as serious as most of the posts on this sub but i was wondering if there is any practical things a person can do to relieve stress from prolonged work. I am a college student who is studying computer science and it seems like i have endless work. Even when i have a two day break to do whatever i want it is ruined by the constanant dread of having to get back to doing my endless math work. At the beginning of the semester i had a huge amount of motivation and i was relatively unphased. It is like a marathon and i am starting to run out of air. I was just wondering if there is any practical (legal) ways that anybody knows of to just escape that constant weight on you for a short time in order to feel refreshed and ready to go at it again,5.0715189873417765,5.548273367088612,5.9568101265822815,80.4967341772152,68.49367088607596,9.357974683544304,32.88860759493671,9.3871,2.886443544303798,624,27,124,12,10,206,97,158,0.081,0.777,0.141,0.7941,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,4,8,8,0,2,10,0,19,2,0,1,0,19,29,10,0,3,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,5,1,0,6,1,0,2,1,5,0,1,4,2,11,3,26,25,2,23,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,6,10,94,21,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863069240736347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560352962545675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046272039103544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211933563807488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250682420024387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574438156457933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989310030059956,0.0,0.10761571396930307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406542990444784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502013046078725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19082690583711215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533887079118614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813512704733173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723831280368757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402756919931105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21690733437411716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580010459914914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041535054618294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18497387409568672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116874229956494,0.15030244752490066,0.0,0.23058531397470536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4106982894520469,0.4135615588069638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway12051988,2019/03/11,"My stepdaughter is struggling Hi all, sorry if wrong place to post but me and my partner are at a loss with our daughter, (my stepdaughter) her previous partner was abusive and sexually abused her daughter at a very young age, for the past few years we have noticed her playing rude games with other children, mainly looking and touching the private parts, she is now aged 8, she stopped around a year ago when she did it to my nephew and he was aged 4 at the time,  and we caught her and really told her off about it, it didnt go down to well with my brother and his wife which resulted in them stopping my nephew coming round to play because of her actions. We thought that was it and that scared her enough not to do it again but yesterday we caught her doing it again. What im trying to get at is do you think this is just kids being kids or do you think what has happened to her in the past is playing a part so she thinks its normal to fool around with the privates. We are really struggling how to deal with this, we are thinking about seeing a counselor but she doesn't seem to remember (thank god) what happened when she was younger. ",6.0606262763784855,5.964642734513272,5.652831858407082,85.49846494213753,66.34513274336283,8.546766507828455,31.98638529611981,7.882392219407189,2.0193625595643296,902,33,185,9,13,277,130,226,0.152,0.807,0.041,-0.9814,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,7,2,1,1,13,12,1,3,10,0,22,0,0,2,1,42,39,17,0,2,7,6,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,16,22,0,2,7,4,0,5,3,7,1,0,10,4,33,5,29,28,6,35,0,1,3,0,42,11,0,3,18,139,49,0,0.0,0.3086939336216606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154752371014617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23193331126876096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794105178692889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221484776437697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430118693839893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346022671613001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805995693590666,0.0,0.07403463662380674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303921519221461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071242168240478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939279906080554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763555074287672,0.0,0.14831164288460333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28213635728825864,0.2487122015263249,0.0,0.0,0.13610294089250527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476129103773385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690677741449686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756890793256078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042157512024627,0.0,0.10380719312819492,0.11859162359807082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458250111854212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178207335164465,0.0,0.2723700104082581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993380725039887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338833867641305,0.0,0.10341870217352772,0.07596065717418048,0.0,0.0,0.1244772116843744,0.0,0.08844381544581402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748522215574102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712709894803824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242824342074775,0.0,0.1677773902835994
mentalhealth,hipsterstalker,2019/03/11,"Over extension and Burnout TLDR: I'm burning out and feel like I'm behind in life
I'm diagnosed with GAD, SDD, depression, and I'm in college full time, babysitting, working, and helping take care of my friend's 2 kids. I can feel myself burning out, and I've started to isolate myself pretty heavily. All the boxes are checked for my semi-annual mental health spiral and I just started seeing it about a week ago. I told my friend how I was feeling and she said she noticed it was happening about a month ago. This week I am planning on dropping all but 2 of my classes so I only have one thing to do daily (babysitting, work, or class) and I'm going to pick up therapy/counseling again. I guess I'm just lost in feeling like I am making the right decision for balancing my health and my success in my schooling/career. I'm already at the age where I'm beginning to be older than my peers and if I step back for a while again I feel like I'll never catch up to where I'm supposed to be in life. Does anyone have some words of wisdom or advice or just their own experiences to share in these regards? Sorry for the novel.",5.060667086217748,5.323980431718064,6.068373190685962,80.43476872246696,68.47136563876651,8.600251730648209,31.192259282567647,8.418075326091056,2.3238699811202013,886,34,172,12,14,295,131,227,0.037000000000000005,0.8079999999999999,0.155,0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,6,12,11,0,0,7,0,11,5,0,3,3,36,38,18,0,1,8,0,5,3,2,0,5,1,0,1,5,13,0,0,6,1,1,3,1,2,0,1,5,7,23,9,32,31,5,37,0,2,1,0,10,17,0,6,19,111,28,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120834953383662,0.2380467923208511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817170618887646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938856071749116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324633310642832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689852776490416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564766439601393,0.13628253186403474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750170977098735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313430852027922,0.0,0.0,0.3394579903905445,0.2877703068965358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20747532948848116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630946777555445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791496262289236,0.0,0.11873565735304922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854482026240457,0.0,0.0,0.08999921464489477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967956447406464,0.1967945083826742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657297312050946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962712798686602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531387828583838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071740617920736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355829557648397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286875237803044,0.0,0.0,0.09098570033956907,0.10211936571866356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660217223001392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466694709069612,0.12772274357744162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699683310581012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030571499212944,0.1900758187743491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095529899876464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920387807684325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829466834958601,0.0,0.0,0.12830197063147586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21540865770254367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955021949922669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Merikerica,2019/03/11,"PLEASE HELP URGENT!!!! Guys I seriously need help and looked up this subreddit just to say this; i think I’m going slightly insane (maybe?). I didn’t really realize it until the thoughts started coming today, but I’ve only been eating one meal a day, can’t sleep, have been really isolated (“dropped” most of my friends), but I didn’t really think anything of it. I’m currently 14 and I thought “oh this is just a normal teen thing” but then today I kept feeling like a couldn’t think about anything, like I had brain fog. Then I kept getting thoughts that were just bursts of uncontrollable anger directed toward people that did nothing wrong, just the type of people who seem like assholes. After I would get mad at them for no reason whatsoever I would have a hyper realistic thought or vision of me just brutally killing them (mostly shooting them in the back of the head) for being “unworthy” and “scum”, and I thought I needed to “cleanse the earth of these terrible people”. It’s only today that the thoughts started happening so it’s probably just a one day thing, but if you have any recommendations please tell me. Thank you all and I really hope someone can help me out. ",5.360548642533939,6.880211850678734,5.761580882352941,78.35648897058825,68.50226244343892,8.96391402714932,30.102092760180998,9.354420925462401,2.7249929864253395,933,36,168,19,16,299,128,221,0.189,0.664,0.147,-0.9478,1,0,0,1,0,0,27.0,0,2,3,0,9,14,4,1,11,0,17,5,3,1,1,44,44,15,1,8,12,0,1,3,1,2,0,1,0,1,14,7,2,2,13,0,0,2,5,8,0,2,15,3,22,6,19,25,3,21,0,0,1,0,13,5,0,6,16,110,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919720558728244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674721552407529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824367164441158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359275156450198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765332310823995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124771389372486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412124404045164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145062054612741,0.07269412457361868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861601989331124,0.0,0.10632606138828182,0.0,0.057829975751637966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007539083850564,0.08998202170375105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443046360832407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20461362995830085,0.0,0.0,0.10106613654472353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257734576720244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491377410899899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544896288524402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222704152114953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090077601268195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969875103208134,0.0976371130892372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790427315936946,0.15477923291648998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21163328180297614,0.0,0.0,0.223393888095804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097096016864078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607486260710734,0.10462156543484556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092002998442087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263435372651632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182895164420418,0.0,0.08621707533999197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404608380999126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893876151984594,0.0936827609532956,0.0,0.0,0.13520361906621708,0.19560237992275992,0.0,0.4846948383917219,0.0,0.0,0.28935684878008355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456832574947895,0.11125362720726377,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mommabearax3,2019/03/11,"PTSD, disability, and returning to work 3.5 years ago our youngest (2 at the time) was diagnosed with stage IV neuroblastoma. I took a year off and helped him get through a horrific, intense treatment plan. I went back to work shortly before he finished his treatment, and didn’t get the support I should have to process what we went through. I’m currently on a 12 week leave of absence from work due to my PTSD and anxiety (I’m a teacher in a high needs school district). 

I go back to work in 5 weeks and I’m a little nervous that going back will show me that I can’t actually manage the workload and our 3 children’s activities, doctor’s appointments, etc. I had a super busy week of multiple appointments last week and I ended up sleeping all weekend. 

Any thoughts?",5.41466216216216,6.4743051959459486,5.888756756756759,79.20354054054056,67.98648648648647,9.163243243243244,35.745945945945955,9.3871,3.3442897297297307,611,31,115,12,10,197,100,148,0.067,0.8740000000000001,0.059,-0.0534,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,0,0,6,3,3,0,1,10,0,7,4,1,0,1,13,20,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,1,2,0,5,2,1,0,0,7,0,14,2,17,11,2,33,0,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,18,63,17,7,0.0,0.0,0.13148690559065618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943897297048325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916278915594494,0.0,0.10307581121505012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31082047026903065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465390493244805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675836990668566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791220647975155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933973968903393,0.0,0.15027083356119453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079228691598175,0.0,0.15315181305617726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031345191030947,0.14236031824936432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983116876686888,0.0,0.14267031583051434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504498229943793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990808027129318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31500794369633284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363641792806909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483741228681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290147395156975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696859243244697,0.07856803854037933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970121393609542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4323215380321443,0.0,0.0,0.24981085372523334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3923696035673265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353641946224144
mentalhealth,Grapejuice6969,2019/03/11,"PTSD over a gay kiss 4 years ago (Im not homophobic) 4 years ago I was 18... I did not enjoy actual sex.. I was into  like BDSM and sissification. Idk why, but that is what I got hooked on from 10 years old.  
I was a virgin and taking my moms anti anxiety pills which made me very numb. I felt like I was in some dream. I somehow found myself on Grindr and made out with a couple young, trannies on two seperate occasions... They looked like real women in the face and it was dark. But they had dicks.. Looking back at it.. It was disgusting.. I lost my virginity to a female a little after from a dating app.

I no longer can get into fights on the street, be a dominant High testosterone alpha male. Because no bad boy would ever kiss a tranny.

I want to be Hyper, Fun, HAPPY, Free, I want to dance to techno music, do the worm, Do backflips, Be a fucking unique guy that women love. But I cant with this dark secret. I want women to maybe question if I am gay, not actually know I kissed a tranny or two... I know it does not make sense... In my head it does... I have issues..

Im now into real sex.. My masculine, muscular body and energy, with a soft, feminine real girl. I had plenty of sex with real women since.. Its amazing..  
But the thought of my sick past... Keeps haunting me.. I have severe OCD on it...

I want to be pure.. I cant be happy.. I cant lie to a chick and not tell her the truth about my Fucked up teen years. I cant tell people to go fuck themselves confidently.  
Because I am not worth being free.. I am not worth lying to women, thinking im this awesome, dominant male. When I kissed two men.. Transsexuals disgust me. You are NOT real women. I only want my Lips to touch Female Lips.. The prettiest Female lips at that.. I am very Picky at this point of my life, and quite frankly, I tend to attract Gorgeous females. Instagram Models even..  
But my mind was warped... Im pathetic. And Honestly, I do not blame females at all if they would have a problem with this. If I was seeing a guy, or even hooking up with a guy as a female, and I KNEW that? It would make me look at him different as well.  
Any one else have similar experiences.. Even though I did not have sex with them... I still touched my lips to theirs.. My lips should ONLY touch a females.. I feel stained.. ",0.4949855699855732,2.7712933181818222,2.7137662337662363,90.8446176046176,86.59740259740259,5.4135642135642135,18.94516594516595,6.857409640812817,0.2545797979797979,1731,48,369,23,54,586,226,462,0.14300000000000002,0.6859999999999999,0.171,0.9374,1,0,0,0,1,0,111.0,0,1,5,2,12,30,6,0,23,0,41,30,10,4,4,77,73,23,0,13,20,1,6,3,0,4,4,0,0,15,18,20,0,1,10,3,4,2,16,10,1,4,20,10,60,22,48,43,2,42,0,1,4,17,30,24,4,8,19,238,78,0,0.0,0.0,0.14627472188447746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328718055607401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096646047951395,0.0,0.05733417160731251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057629538140914115,0.06257752905148647,0.0913738664206845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324910778402334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292731680021734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830355646996523,0.0,0.0,0.13117307048356808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626085160584856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850515728369673,0.06779375976701424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331244713976548,0.0,0.0,0.037895403383061015,0.0,0.07196077504193937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217540492981977,0.0,0.20786159775620214,0.039156660732873536,0.0,0.042594049118925684,0.0,0.05994188062583395,0.0,0.0,0.2226276355937402,0.0,0.1595647324823857,0.0,0.0,0.0769171392280784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918551229785448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238220419038861,0.078225089390968,0.0,0.06661624628408044,0.0,0.0,0.08237770989832469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293721029366751,0.10984580551709336,0.07511648075908561,0.0,0.0,0.1888095546465236,0.0,0.08181339221188916,0.0,0.06764250130297937,0.14183313350141727,0.10005527238348172,0.0,0.07529423229458934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567500172533385,0.08777690078344821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864416171848553,0.0,0.050785957527343016,0.1140009858857304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154529427974464,0.05195874217567916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084904331146724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171405930614601,0.0876089127441916,0.0,0.08395767783535492,0.0797152511075746,0.0,0.4265298877740413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059722974065065236,0.0,0.0,0.08466866162282452,0.0,0.06199684826325011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059852689321808226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635073981929585,0.0,0.13101378402862068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802294582766803,0.07363494647112008,0.05949946512978895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196366865492444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367807936503293,0.2210281103742849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673862617993287,0.0,0.06762791793650651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15972037739890654,0.0,0.0,0.19305337957144267
mentalhealth,Drocclol,2019/03/11,"Im losing it, i'm losing it all Im 18m - I've not been able to control my frustration at times lately no matter how hard I try. I just want to make people happy but it seems all I've ever done was the opposite because it feels like every time I try to turn something into a good situation it just becomes a bad situation then causing me to get frustrated.

Idk, Just coming to a place to rant because I'm pushing everyone out of my lives even my own girlfriend doesn't want to talk to me. Kinda feel like i'm turning into the second coming of my Alcoholic father. Kinda done with life at this point idk what to do with myself anymore because I feel there is no hope for me anymore.",2.9026440460947502,4.225812964788734,4.983982074263763,82.32241357234321,74.28169014084506,7.135467349551858,26.289372599231754,7.686295010490155,1.5317098591549292,539,19,106,7,11,187,86,142,0.175,0.6940000000000001,0.131,-0.6908,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,2,0,5,0,7,2,0,4,3,29,23,3,0,3,5,1,4,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,7,7,1,1,4,0,0,3,4,5,0,1,4,4,12,5,19,19,3,15,0,2,0,0,3,7,0,4,7,66,19,0,0.12454712318900035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310299749021434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470345587862962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399164552600422,0.2277683108742347,0.1375525123917433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279442035991503,0.0,0.21457263694272904,0.0,0.0,0.13969018911330672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549098977198201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822622002344405,0.11266000338182044,0.10493632296010907,0.11901011355679753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892430312008035,0.1779529793838275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507073137331343,0.0,0.0,0.10446421783269748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258272857903602,0.1115697588292312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370339569006385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690645308755276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404945798480307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879713164044122,0.12169486654390495,0.0,0.1099773915849616,0.0,0.0,0.27867274585637675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313617185291908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634529327395872,0.0,0.1301252352286136,0.0,0.11773728860148415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338302328845525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799923695686734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958824602527953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010625985814213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524885822587852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911864231489784,0.2709430108457821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692224032312878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SortingTheLifeOut,2019/03/11,"Help and advice with life please. I lost my mum in 2016 and in the years since have been diagnosed with a mental illness.
Things before my mum passed weren’t easy but her dying just really tipped me over the edge I guess. 
I was also made homeless but thankfully I’ve now been put into temporary housing and will be given a flat soon. 
I’ve been off sick at work for a while but I am getting help with the medical aspect of my life and hope to get back to work eventually. 
After a couple of impulsive suicide attempts I was referred to the crisis team, with the crisis team I initially had daily visits then every 3 days then weekly. I’ve now been referred to a core team, rather than weekly visits I’ll have fortnightly visits with a social worker. In regards to the social worker I was due my first appointment last week.
I had made a list of where I wanted to be in life and what I felt was stopping me from achieving these things. Said social worker didn’t turn up, I convinced myself I had gotten the dates wrong. Called the office today, spoke to a receptionist- got a callback from the social worker who said sorry she didn’t write it in her diary, I’ve rescheduled and I appreciate how busy she must be but I’ve gone from feeling supported to feeling really anxious and neglected and I’m scared of seeing her but know I have to.
 I can’t get out of bed somedays. I want to do everything I can as to not trigger another impulsive attempt to end my life but do feel really bad at the moment.
I’ve been taking antidepressant and anti-anxiety tablets for a few months too and I thought up until this week i felt better.  
My current anxieties include:
-I will never get better, I’ll always be consumed with anxiety and depression.
-my childhoods messed me up to a point where I’ll never have normal relationships.
-The nhs is too busy, I’ll continue to get forgotten.
-I won’t be able to cope when I get my own place I’ve never lived alone.
- I’m on sick pay I can barely afford to get by let alone furnish a house. I don’t even mean an IKEA trip. I don’t think I can even afford charity shops.
And just overall I’ll never have a normal life- bad things will just keep happening. 
I’m hoping support including advice from anyone whose been in a similar situation. 
I hope this isn’t just inappropriate rambling.
",4.720921052631578,5.874399030701755,5.80434210526316,78.82914473684211,69.65789473684211,8.594736842105263,27.407894736842106,8.930421266530582,2.1691789473684207,1842,60,341,33,32,612,229,456,0.156,0.7240000000000001,0.12,-0.9732,4,2,0,0,0,2,40.0,0,0,0,16,18,17,0,1,26,0,43,10,0,4,5,64,86,26,2,9,12,2,5,0,0,5,10,3,1,0,10,20,0,3,11,4,2,7,13,8,0,1,29,9,44,9,54,46,2,59,0,3,1,0,27,20,0,4,32,224,54,11,0.07511168361735057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679653584183402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558610345803994,0.0,0.060066786251691415,0.062498937841156316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876114938113231,0.172380697132663,0.08485482279687306,0.0,0.05251983561888366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775624833420829,0.1254302368067341,0.0,0.0,0.0639145105214614,0.0,0.0,0.13286036054664302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669742696299339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310964927554326,0.0,0.048440822098642575,0.0,0.06469358303739589,0.07623677778309174,0.0779540689893187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652665735612953,0.0,0.0,0.09922111726820096,0.0,0.06328483298796858,0.0,0.06750553800595628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393617227151795,0.0,0.14423799071516985,0.0,0.0,0.06388995971409704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746992819875512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007367497167695,0.0,0.08274398767059943,0.0,0.0664210137626786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069155648474296,0.0,0.0,0.22380854928372867,0.0,0.17333759641347787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676271557249551,0.0,0.0,0.04127941697586839,0.06122604717100898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680678547100264,0.2652680172765975,0.0,0.0,0.06632499274395655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819932754987528,0.0,0.0,0.1421449823265378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181864320388267,0.0,0.07566711909458543,0.07569491062976186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995342925610776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317230435764639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718700444908292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847572267320063,0.08245007299658799,0.07100481926009193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550798802165905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435540360956614,0.0,0.0,0.0806418384421501,0.0,0.0,0.14289682304515336,0.0,0.0751998986401186,0.0,0.059854287100567685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213316087099404,0.08442867944207913,0.0,0.30626760964210764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408138032551259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627967307826597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215999075781709,0.1704716969104961,0.0,0.0,0.05647463831588478,0.0,0.0,0.06915274670190234,0.0,0.0,0.14970259513051368,0.04812853398514208,0.0,0.059630286735699825,0.0,0.0,0.07119709349060649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169994291276457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860563414826292,0.0,0.2410002477237028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093644004985311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212283480593917,0.0,0.0483694616162924
mentalhealth,legosharkdan,2019/03/11,"I'm ""deployed"" to Poland and it's making my girlfriend's diagnosed depression worse, what do I do? This is my first post on this subreddit and I'm really just looking for advice as I have no one else to ask.


I'm a young Army soldier on a 9 month rotation to Poland (it's a deployment without the whole ""oh crap I'm getting shot at"" side of things). I just got here and this rotation won't be over until October.


My girlfriend has clinically diagnosed anxiety and depression. She has been in for therapy and has been on treatment before for it but she's currently a broke college student type and isn't able to keep paying for treatment. This leads to a catch-22: she's unable to afford treatment without a job but isn't emotionally stable enough to land a job right now.


As young love goes, she got very attached to me very quickly and this somewhat long term separation has completely destroyed any semblance of ok-ness she had before I left.


Is there anything I can do to help her? Anything I can say that might help her out? Any dirt cheap or free resources I can point her towards (she's in the US, in Kansas, Fort Riley/Manhattan area)? 


I'm writing this at midnight my time so I may not respond for about 5 hours, but once I'm back I'll be able to add details and the like.


Please let me know what, if anything, I can do to help her. I really don't want her to be in this much pain.",2.5894642857142856,4.551891874999999,3.9072857142857167,86.99771428571432,76.67857142857143,7.194285714285713,27.271428571428572,8.109356740369918,1.7908185714285714,1095,45,223,19,25,359,152,280,0.115,0.789,0.096,0.3586,4,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,0,2,9,9,2,0,10,0,28,6,1,2,0,29,44,17,0,2,10,0,0,1,2,3,4,1,0,0,14,10,0,1,1,0,3,1,8,6,0,2,5,2,28,4,37,32,5,33,0,3,1,1,22,18,1,5,14,146,42,7,0.23646896027464026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553736559573966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160807001852922,0.0,0.0904490536830465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918907087672422,0.0,0.11053327844678833,0.0,0.0,0.09091501704669086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012176684318295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396660291885996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20367036898318586,0.2400110170462504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876973663761084,0.13299787622852838,0.0,0.12216782405061992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057018840469233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061772635923544136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891258293822572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377502392805063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643714641291505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23465895531343434,0.10509223849225983,0.0,0.0,0.0649785781846867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284621086186182,0.1209027665715236,0.0,0.0577633947408185,0.0,0.0,0.10463379429941796,0.09928718520060496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671123450623636,0.0,0.07892243359744587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542809898573332,0.0,0.0,0.09437363402287073,0.0,0.08691594713457565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591586259025275,0.0801187436734448,0.0,0.12580982301677954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297859540427585,0.11176980049109264,0.0,0.11323594894253215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148807108572096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097160001504747,0.0,0.0940248041897432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352114322741441,0.0,0.07854973491046137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894347618457385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422215217776276,0.0,0.0,0.19511165725951105,0.06973775973474163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320045746766094,0.0,0.22794763929022746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049103631415778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PCNuub,2019/03/11,Please help me Im lately having intrusive thoughts like really bad thoughts about me doing stuff i would never do and the things i do are really really bad so you can already tell. I keep thinking im a bad person and im crying myself to sleep every night of the guilt i get having these thoughts and it’s KILLING me. If i tell my parents they will think im crazy bad i can’t stop rgese thoughts from happening and i often get panic attacks and have  anxiety. What do i do please help,1.2960545454545451,3.640820060000003,2.9414545454545475,90.1657272727273,83.4,6.036363636363637,21.090909090909093,7.348242739294969,0.7791000000000001,386,12,79,6,11,127,63,100,0.321,0.574,0.105,-0.9788,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,1,0,3,9,2,2,3,0,13,1,1,0,1,17,23,7,1,2,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,4,0,15,1,4,17,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,2,5,49,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816734358043413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888495311699434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213010470143033,0.0,0.0,0.3879001971863463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757828383625072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785598680150168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213604679640168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270539620984273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569720511495902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5018200455168778,0.0,0.0,0.10323376242671888,0.12849567816268562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101503238795326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056741893171051175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957709937439992,0.0,0.0,0.10899289476778763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362694825006238,0.12896371597428094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014121060242582,0.0,0.2549815769118285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232136801724472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622747106842267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971012447771438,0.0,0.0,0.13295662750821846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20302924000489986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716064277216393,0.1488402501534947,0.0,0.3688201596668674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250507653838858,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wine4Nurses,2019/03/11,"Is it mental abuse or strict parenting? Let’s be clear: I love my mother, even if I don’t like her 100% of the time. We have a complicated relationship but I believe that she is a decent person for the most part. Just trying to work out some things and could use an unbiased perspective on all this. Please be honest but respectful, no matter what side you may take.

As a child, I misbehaved. I would even say I was more on the naughty end of the spectrum and had a temper (a big one). I was never malicious, though, or destructive.

My mother put a paper grocery bag by the front door and said every time I was “bad” she would put a piece of clothing in the bag and when it was full I would be sent to an orphanage. This terrified me, to the point where I genuinely thought some strangers were going to take me away. I don’t think it helped my behavior any, and to this day I remember the sorrow 7-year old me felt that I would be given up so easily.

Anyway, my question is this: is threatening to your child with an orphanage (even an empty threat) mental abuse or an understandable discipline tactic when nothing else has worked?",5.931312217194574,6.004777425339366,6.36398190045249,79.71484162895929,66.60180995475113,10.23891402714932,29.217194570135746,10.035473477838034,2.5965855203619905,885,27,177,19,13,287,138,221,0.188,0.718,0.094,-0.981,1,0,0,0,2,0,28.0,1,2,0,2,10,9,3,0,20,0,25,1,0,1,3,36,37,16,0,6,7,3,1,1,0,5,0,2,1,3,11,8,0,1,6,0,0,5,4,5,0,1,11,3,26,4,19,15,8,24,0,1,0,1,19,11,0,9,9,133,37,3,0.0,0.30456783574166457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740301977871863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075569606517232,0.0,0.10731498632495523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480633425020814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261864750219632,0.0,0.0,0.08288952159271253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736812633036556,0.0,0.11383710190101033,0.0,0.0,0.2546733494378311,0.0,0.10828985354058274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234064320949001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304506694345743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861491876464233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314279450047549,0.0,0.06279198137945946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600097051359308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25905072033366305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991282320980604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123325479028361,0.0,0.13486785539922758,0.0,0.08709347301109377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271443548193705,0.13918261806310467,0.0,0.0,0.11222514296325548,0.0,0.1410844574861771,0.12149990946191988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584110150235858,0.14398007056755285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379902965976696,0.14559645660826584,0.0,0.12225896244299266,0.10221012425569256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19327317536406294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538787434481862,0.08235514973018644,0.12627748959351653,0.10203637605268752,0.14989068742380582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726164825798392,0.0,0.0,0.13380152613655433,0.0,0.11100638201436566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871389139130874,0.0,0.0,0.365208627360531,0.0,0.0,0.08276741309028897
mentalhealth,measlybastard,2019/03/11,"Mental illness made me miss years of school I just wanted to vent. I’ve been mentally ill for as long as I can remember. OCD, social anxiety, depression, C-PTSD etc. My social anxiety and depression has gotten so bad that I missed around 3 years of high school going from mental health treatment centre to mental health treatment centre trying to get well enough to go back to school. I always end up relapsing and now it just feels like I was born to fail. I want to believe that’s not true but it’s hard. I feel so trapped in my own brain. I never thought it would get this bad but now that it has I can only wonder how much worse it can get. I never want to get there but I know it’s in my near future. I’m scared. Maybe this fear will fuel my recovery. I’m an atheist but sometimes I pray to God things will get better because I don’t really know what else to do. I just hope things will be okay in the end. I will try harder. We’ll see what happens. ",1.289545454545454,3.3936560858585842,2.8124141414141413,92.53195454545455,81.57575757575758,5.778181818181817,18.990909090909085,6.961326702584282,0.17997696969696975,747,18,161,9,20,244,117,198,0.214,0.685,0.1,-0.9734,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,12,15,0,2,2,1,16,5,1,2,3,28,41,11,0,5,8,0,3,1,0,6,4,0,0,0,15,3,0,0,7,0,0,2,4,9,1,0,5,4,21,6,22,29,4,21,1,5,1,0,3,7,0,2,13,99,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554940529057839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573047119697183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915261733496634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905754669566177,0.17169063243193816,0.06267440226271648,0.0,0.0,0.11583606334480535,0.0,0.09093054397456016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477432068770675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771069316100068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588782491605274,0.0,0.18212520626355871,0.10623424785400533,0.11466468181111801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569422720074528,0.1039715992580663,0.07345027434419463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685801096276349,0.0,0.11686302322753145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091799672878004,0.0,0.09210106425751044,0.0,0.0,0.21857274664545115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862853560964232,0.0,0.10211740631940662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300766685035908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022968069925055,0.0,0.0,0.09098707064557046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728500293862034,0.0,0.0,0.10329038679762502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4144489369952338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755800501655352,0.0,0.15859284377337912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819460779795913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018395311956985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586522030537874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646811210145692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293465503244938,0.312159482790528,0.08192937100081711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20961165717120106,0.0,0.0,0.10168558108527513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660998011860756,0.0,0.0,0.08162275622205042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960778535721294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819269151271919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244204813545666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149729432969352,0.0,0.0,0.10477615293107316,0.07303604830557174,0.0,0.0,0.1324175679918312
mentalhealth,brightexperiences,2019/03/11,"PLS I NEED HELP NOW okay so im trying too keep this short, first the back story.. im (F18)in a relationship for almost 1,5 year wirh my boyfriend(M19). He is suicidal sinds the begin and had multiple attempts to killing himself. He made some mistakes in our relationship and since then he lost who jhe was.. he didn’t knew who he was anymore..

the last weeks where really bad ( for our relationship but also shit around that ) he lives in a place with other people who cant get a home them self because of money and mental health resons. he feels really unhappy there and wants to leave.

today whe had a fight and he took some benzo’s he was talking about killing him self. after when i got home he told me he was going to talk all his pils and rhings like that. this was a few hours ago.

i do wanna call the place where he lives to get help but

WHO AM I TO DECIDE IF SOMEONE CAN LIFE OR NOT, I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH BUT I SEE HIM IN PAIN EVERYDAY.. IDK WHAT TO DO..

im scared that if i call too there and he’s okay he doesn’t trust being there anymore witch means he will be homles again..",-0.2473998917748901,2.047292901785717,1.2804870129870132,97.97208874458876,95.42857142857142,4.3222943722943725,14.823593073593075,6.11248444174946,-0.6940398809523809,846,18,190,9,33,270,138,224,0.205,0.721,0.07400000000000001,-0.9882,0,0,0,0,1,0,28.0,2,0,1,3,17,15,4,1,9,2,18,5,1,1,1,30,35,19,3,6,7,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,2,2,11,9,0,1,4,0,1,2,4,10,0,1,14,2,17,5,17,18,5,26,0,1,1,1,41,9,1,6,16,108,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498265466087537,0.0,0.10729597551668142,0.0,0.0,0.08568839792227362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125294584766929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953868645848192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239229528648095,0.08946638162015698,0.06531808883486125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21882574551870368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417862725019484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911423539171853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196366507907247,0.0,0.06089622762327646,0.0,0.08569822503998928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138962125432196,0.0,0.0,0.14364174775930832,0.0,0.214961832068879,0.0,0.1055218825360964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472235179758591,0.0,0.0,0.09524048971716842,0.2370928081487111,0.0,0.0,0.08734214397977019,0.0,0.11345714888419756,0.0,0.0,0.07568372752690622,0.052348432974399436,0.0,0.1892321106250636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696767642017634,0.0,0.09670771484657342,0.10138860898278826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671855435943868,0.0,0.0,0.10798273101470167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876811349810751,0.07945090660302638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401592855242945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428482278627514,0.0,0.22389940835131172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728699933987906,0.0,0.0,0.3451193432919885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727657063903062,0.0,0.08538525681957942,0.0,0.2235631545921988,0.0,0.10998868179275284,0.08863618890102448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078846353776343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172055044171422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224739163869784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156636069006633,0.10238711179416972,0.11904840063485725,0.07274831028923354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320027515071155,0.0,0.08594985022081841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900155531704169
mentalhealth,bbeane20,2019/03/11,"Help! Hi all,

About a month and a half ago I struggled with an intrusive thought about suicide (Let it be known that I do NOT want to do this in the slightest little bit). I wasn't freaking out about it until I went online and started researching possible causes as to why I was having this thought (bad mistake). I soon was able to come across Suicidal OCD. After I saw this, I started to really freak out and started panicking because I automatically assumed that I have this. The whole week I was trying to assign that intrusive thought to a meaning. Whether it be OCD, Depression, or that I was just suicidal. I decided to go see a therapist and before my session I told her that I was just their to get an answer (she told me she had never heard of suicidal OCD). After I spoke with her about my issue, she told me that I was painfully normal and I was going through an adjustment disorder. She told me that everybody has intrusive thoughts and now that I have paid attention to them that I will probably have more. She was right, but they didn't come constantly and when they did come I labelled them just like I was told to do. However, now I am still struggling with the fact of ""what if"" I have something wrong with me what if I have OCD, what if I am depressed, What if I am suicidal. Does this mean that I have some sort of OCD? It has completely taken over my thought process. The only compulsive behavior I can think I have would be me researching the internet to see if I have something wrong with me. Any information on this would be greatly appreciated!

Also, is this a product of self diagnosis or the onset of a new problem that is coming to be? ",4.372479360165118,5.811426303405572,5.4042608359133135,80.28748516511868,70.79566563467492,9.098503611971106,31.414989680082563,9.516144504307137,2.950217853457172,1308,58,252,30,24,431,154,323,0.158,0.807,0.035,-0.9898,1,0,2,0,0,1,35.0,0,0,5,0,13,14,0,2,15,0,42,1,0,1,3,58,74,20,5,11,13,0,0,1,0,3,1,2,0,1,26,18,0,0,15,0,1,7,4,12,0,1,29,5,52,2,37,36,5,32,0,2,3,0,23,8,0,10,18,204,78,4,0.08340992503122181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739378658732842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670288691229219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672160926943533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964380336617412,0.05084591611609862,0.0,0.07097570277030593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106203515291188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568496932835627,0.0,0.2874010591795871,0.08745371945500327,0.09013649704001528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368169241526185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559500038279298,0.0,0.07299258748438799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043578243211114115,0.0,0.09480756515544,0.0,0.0,0.09195973680982486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05590791454266762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705829115374059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529229953974292,0.0,0.040749876172202604,0.08359865745482792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171572163283808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665770063828187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433087624284957,0.08055782535529518,0.0,0.0,0.08172401692665694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343700658141603,0.08875404107019502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403215790117302,0.0,0.0,0.0899300066693083,0.07981203349844865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053434533808196696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712316202325759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293382226097086,0.0,0.0870147428362788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842607065854866,0.0,0.0,0.17711392273688065,0.0,0.0666112738749263,0.0,0.0,0.17439632775792668,0.0,0.4561846000275506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684535178065866,0.0,0.05344571201484822,0.0,0.3310908174787643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985087891057113,0.0,0.0566298639249239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04919733486005413,0.0,0.06690641065092727,0.0,0.0,0.07732183615222271,0.07526448375676062,0.09312420255721077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850403518903767,0.18239131822449264,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tj_maybe_,2019/03/11,"Im scared and i dont know how to tell my family So ive dealt with this issue for a while but ive always avoided it. 
I have this irrational fear of men. Not all men but definatly men that are a more than a few years older than me. Whether they are my host family or family friends, heck even if they are my family i feel uncomfortable and afraid. I dont have ptsd or anything btw.
Im currently on exchange 12000 km away from home and my host father (mid 40s) is teaching me the language an hour a day and i dont know how to tell him that i dont like sitting in a room alone with him.
I need to being it up but i dont know how? 
And yes as much as i am greatful for his help i keep struggling to learn because i start tearing up from fear and sometimes i start shaking or stuttering. I cant learn if im scared and i domt know how to approch the subject without upsetting anyone.",1.1390247678018568,2.7503232368421067,3.2393498452012395,91.7445665634675,79.78947368421052,6.575851393188857,23.281733746130037,7.5105763829236425,0.8457058823529415,685,23,159,10,17,233,105,190,0.195,0.731,0.07400000000000001,-0.9713,1,2,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,6,13,0,9,8,1,16,0,0,4,1,35,25,24,0,3,11,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,3,6,9,0,2,7,0,1,1,8,10,0,0,0,1,27,3,22,24,4,18,0,0,0,0,13,8,1,5,9,105,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595594714372908,0.0,0.0,0.08512500804704183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153323854957967,0.0,0.08418736104938332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961178453894862,0.0,0.0,0.062363484337919085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597752719306021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5994968180011789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757073558080666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38577190273723655,0.23024057240394044,0.05172790619317972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903970951480473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279036831913634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857212180003291,0.0,0.10261911429597023,0.0,0.1007486959008415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315171771144589,0.1067786518873108,0.0,0.09093237255959577,0.0,0.0,0.22489410691610434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998049909523967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520510933634234,0.07585701691453711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195877392914547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048480245583128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118113479282667,0.0,0.14482239925829174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695020844829033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788361681162445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986172716339368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588033255513312
mentalhealth,TheOtherOtherCH,2019/03/11,"My self hatred has given me a little problem I haven’t had any suicidal thoughts for nearly a year and everything seems to be getting better. I’ve been learning to appreciate myself more but I still have a bit of self hatred. 
     I have recently gotten a girlfriend and I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. The problem is even before meeting her the thought of someone caring about me even in a non romantic way gets me so nervous that I’ll get hard. 
     I’ve been able to hide that this is happening but I might not for much longer with spring coming along I won’t be able to use my long coat. Should I seek help or just focus on solving it myself or am I totally overreacting. ",3.9505839416058417,5.172676941605843,5.170518248175185,82.39373357664236,71.55474452554746,7.8157664233576645,27.56861313868613,8.238735603445708,1.8381217518248167,539,19,105,8,10,179,92,137,0.155,0.682,0.163,0.483,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,1,7,0,17,0,0,1,2,23,30,7,1,3,6,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,8,1,16,3,14,17,4,12,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,4,6,75,21,1,0.322396731550849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096204164547876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371679364542404,0.0,0.0,0.14256685488211654,0.17598686541606445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643524772159514,0.0,0.0,0.13885811863676265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129400005933447,0.14581315062447905,0.0,0.0,0.14487469702832362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252658478701405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254718248942955,0.17159865783937114,0.144402073148958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804786666354947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156311083715133,0.0,0.14265548109450507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100599212121395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849934656662288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084901314645121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591639390874832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674893801473265,0.3363301031220578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365828522130483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873322313667185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632484860484154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328940388416154,0.0,0.2559469927870015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392236315903227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795175958621627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380646246334914
mentalhealth,GentleRainFall,2019/03/11,"Going to see a psychiatrist...what to expect? Within the next two weeks, I’ve made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. 

I went to a therapist once and hated it. I didn’t feel connected to my therapist or felt like the session helped and left it feeling humiliated.

I have a hard time sharing about my feelings on my mental health and problems I’m dealing with. I start to cry whenever I reflect back on my depression and anxiety and on past issues and problems that happened to me, so I’m pretty nervous and frightened now with my appointment...

What should I do? What should I say? Do I just open up? Do I wait for the psychiatrist to ask me  something first? 

tldr: opened up on my feelings and past issues to a therapist once long time ago, left therapy session feeling kind of humiliated, finally going to a psychiatrist now and I’m kind of afraid. what should I expect or do?",4.082857142857144,6.09297204761905,5.6661904761904776,75.81214285714287,72.57142857142857,8.847619047619046,31.04761904761905,9.424239791934726,3.1268761904761906,696,32,125,17,14,236,86,168,0.177,0.754,0.068,-0.9568,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,6,10,1,2,10,0,9,1,0,1,0,32,29,12,0,7,3,0,7,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,6,13,0,1,7,0,0,3,1,6,0,2,4,10,18,4,23,22,0,28,0,1,2,0,5,11,0,2,15,84,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417980659348583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990715350092926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987104925498024,0.0,0.0,0.09037032517553613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290969147187929,0.0,0.12116426024935935,0.10122506749451173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29712366581973565,0.0,0.11284349745303225,0.12874411035483638,0.0,0.0999676502775048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335855949429275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392795213235533,0.0,0.10528031129026794,0.11603270345380662,0.0,0.12492476059811375,0.0,0.0,0.07877527509493333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245333452017668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447707191350157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553849277207416,0.0,0.0,0.057417321533248536,0.0,0.0,0.10400691021520006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112060482234588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184386778061057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499035272718476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25032294590442344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22438394328375547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956630664437935,0.0,0.22491323263106405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346148089956807,0.0,0.0,0.1873061891807293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904773423248296,0.0,0.0,0.08318558651830082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134401350832823,0.4093706208106557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706084129824286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480593357870975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942723574605702,0.0,0.0,0.10894788266674046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Huge_Zookeepergame,2019/03/11,How easily does mental illness go away? I'm thinking about going to a therapist if I might have a mental illness. But I'm not sure. I think it's quite possible because when I was very young I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and a mild case of OCD. I didn't know until an adult because I never read the papers that I gave to my parents to sign when I was in school. But for fun I decided to go through them as an adult.,3.5565543071161048,4.1383741123595525,5.442191011235956,82.46455992509364,71.92134831460675,9.079400749063671,29.44007490636704,9.2995712137729,2.4496277153558053,332,13,70,7,6,115,63,89,0.141,0.7909999999999999,0.068,-0.6202,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,6,0,6,3,0,1,2,15,15,9,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,0,0,0,5,0,11,2,13,9,0,10,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,5,47,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216537223450746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688220615838344,0.0,0.0,0.24250700771677816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188915340786398,0.0,0.0,0.2279677431967388,0.0,0.17406721452246188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391348906310653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931556643356212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4009083769990048,0.2110117529555552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534114191770103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22086567692109813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424079438058475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115649449098215,0.1989635227874315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013072306208514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18747003353707092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23094948685731664,0.0,0.2549066018678707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412132988269176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,11pizzaparty,2019/03/11,"I feel broken and like I have no friends I’ve overcome some very difficult things but I still feel affected by it, and some days I just feel like I’m broken because of it. Like I’m not functioning the way I’m supposed to. I’m young, I live in a fun city with people I know and am at least a little bit friends with, but I feel so lonely. I feel like I don’t have enough fun or enough friends. I feel like a non-person with no personality so who would want to be my friend anyway? I feel like if I tried to make friends my facade would crack and they’d see just how sad and insecure I am and would leave. 

Some days I’m okay and feel hopeful, other days I feel so broken and alone. 

At work people say I’m sweet and hard working and like to be around me because I’m very positive. 

But when I try to make friends or get invited to things I just feel engulfed by my loneliness, like I’m an outsider, and I don’t know how to be. 

What’s wrong with me? ",0.3839767711962807,2.3070853024390274,2.146898954703836,97.05739837398376,83.78048780487805,5.465737514518003,20.005807200929155,6.655083550727371,0.0016295005807203113,737,21,178,8,21,242,95,205,0.175,0.531,0.294,0.9875,0,3,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,12,24,0,1,5,1,13,0,0,5,0,51,39,23,0,6,10,0,11,8,6,3,0,1,0,1,7,16,0,0,12,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,0,14,23,19,18,32,7,12,0,2,1,0,10,5,0,7,14,102,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740614226954282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372332775659466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146624911880328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267687752388807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196099153289128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943550009039881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4755387428252191,0.2687537856187853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359709896886933,0.0,0.049136590604198574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842492077113709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341163042259402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337346776833717,0.0,0.0,0.09958404759089017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675797526660535,0.09426155585296472,0.08304677006049642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255565429963038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040312400551798,0.1642394832393369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479134152263768,0.0,0.0,0.07494467790090648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510745392282471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496362211710588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770585662070888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520013807947686,0.05547238997508787,0.07465152082196623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369372214795022,0.0,0.0,0.20042860265684925,0.10282754504283602,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lilp00f,2019/03/11,I’m scared for my friend My friend I live with everyday for the past 3 years has spent his days hysterically crying about time he can’t get back and relationships he feels as if he can’t salvage. It’s like a bad acid trip loop that never ends. I don’t know how to help him and he’s very self destructive. Nothing makes him happy and everything is a trigger. One second he’s crying because he’s sorry and then extremely angry because he’s not sorry. He’s seen professionals but hasn’t found one “smarter” than him. The last therapist told him to toss a ball and I’ve been trying to tell him to try medication but he claims he doesn’t need them he knows what’s wrong but continues to hysterically cry all day because he’s not getting anything done but never getting anything done because he’s hysterically crying...can I do anything to help,3.25870259481038,5.413146766467066,4.5088862275449095,82.56580439121757,75.34730538922156,7.3275848303393225,26.10339321357285,8.238735603445708,1.7338586027944114,678,25,132,12,15,223,98,167,0.155,0.754,0.092,-0.8169,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,3,8,1,1,5,0,11,1,0,3,3,24,24,13,0,2,7,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,4,1,1,1,9,4,0,3,7,3,12,4,12,17,1,14,0,0,1,0,28,0,0,1,14,64,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003298781057343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354355985817424,0.10157507804922884,0.2966338797335549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4008899474261976,0.15691209426702646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24898627794034645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774834817086733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933376937293736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061511354230276975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338610993422018,0.187977435315732,0.0,0.19067583509807787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950175886992496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308272979816288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371448887914025,0.09916333857558522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05943345498988471,0.0,0.1074217267876549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812042458022525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255248373062418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020407322996232,0.18765241010707004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167292247499574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487028739662746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161314446363152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060967183560207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179576102425173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691049121136105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27236089116886075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063299841008651,0.0,0.0,0.14124837660148926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093677591228073,0.0,0.0,0.11624454553088545,0.0,0.16518864766323718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003763711582946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300833303679696,0.0,0.07834046979348927
mentalhealth,spaceship-duck,2019/03/11,"I'm not sure what to do. So long story shot, I have been battling depression and anxiety for a little over 3 years and OCD for about 10 or 11 years. And now I'm just running out of steam. I have been seeing a few therapists over the past 2 years and feel like I'm not making any progress on that front. I feel like my life is falling apart and got no reason to continue, yes I'm aware that it's not the answer what so ever I'm just very tired of being the person who is always in the wrong, getting made fun on, getting screwed over and getting told that I'm ugly. I am aware that good stuff happens to me like getting a 83% in college or having a nice car. But in the inside I'm withering away. This feeling was becoming very prevalent about 2 years ago when my dog passed. I was devastated as she was in my life for my entire childhood into my mid teens. It seemed like everyone had someone to comfort them and my Girlfriend (at the time) refused to come and see me because she couldn't understand what to do. About 2 weeks later we made plans to hangout after she was done work, she finished at 11pm and we spending the night and we were going to leave in the morning. Well turns out she was invited to a party after work and she decided to ditch me without letting me know. So at 12am I was getting worried as I didn't hear from here. 1am rolls around nothing 2am nothing.. finally at 3am I get ahold of her and she explains that I'm never there for here and she will be at my place at 4am just to wait for her. So at this point I'm beyond upset, but still waited (for some reason ) around 5am I call her again... she says she is going to crash at the guys house who was hosting the party. At this point I was way beyond pissed that after all this time I was waiting it was just a big fuck you. And it didn't help that we were supposed to leave at 7am. I decided to go by myself and she came and got her stuff from my place and broke up with me about three days after through a text while I was at work. But it didn't end there. About once a week she would contact me explaining that I was the only one for her and she wanted me back. This caused even more stress for me as I just wanted to get things back on track. We have been broken up for about 2 years and she finally stop texting me about 3 months ago. Not to long after this my friend was looking for a car. Now I should mention that I'm in the Automotive industry and I fix cars for a living. So they asked me to inspect a car for them. I took time off work to help them out and the only thing they had to say was. I couldn't get ahold of my other friend so you'll do. About 6 months later the car started showing issues that were not present at the time and now it's my fault because... it is I guess. Flash forward 1 year later I was getting ready for college. Things were starting to go well I was feeling good and ready to get things started.  Well in college alot of people would go out their way to point of my appearance, and not in a good way. You can bet this took its toll on me and by the time college was done I was a wreck. Right after college I had to go back to work to get more on the job training.  And I have been treated like shit by one  of the counter persons calling me a ""low level person"" or a ""unpolished mess"" now I'm just feeling like complete and utter garbage. And just a few nights ago I got into a confrontation with my friend. He has been consistently making fun of my appearance every chance he gets. At first it was funny then it just got annoying. I have asked him a few times to stop but it just doesn't seem to help. Now I should have responded in a better way than what I did rather than provoking the fight. Should have been an adult about it, but I just cant think anymore. I feel lost, confused, angry, tired, ugly, lonely and a fuck ton of other emotions. Like I said in the start I have been seeing a therapist also on anti depressants. My parents and grandparents have been nothing but supportive but they have a bit of a hard time to understand what's going on and I can't blame them whatsoever. I don't know any more just really stressed. Well if you made it this far congratulations. Thanks for reading ",2.7005600322320724,3.985468545662101,3.8204190169218393,90.61694601128126,74.73059360730593,6.6597904915390815,24.18372280419017,7.108773556668569,0.7747855761482678,3290,99,723,33,68,1068,335,876,0.151,0.742,0.106,-0.9906,3,2,0,0,1,0,75.0,5,4,8,10,53,48,9,4,45,1,77,9,2,9,4,131,163,55,0,11,30,1,7,7,4,7,4,4,0,5,46,48,0,6,20,3,2,23,18,22,4,4,53,15,100,26,128,98,11,151,0,6,4,3,70,61,5,13,72,500,146,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335386752928642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040157209711475336,0.0417832068310647,0.0,0.0,0.06829634110440047,0.0,0.038414617222684855,0.0,0.04980014938344639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940464328268184,0.09388917648118393,0.0,0.04717898895053044,0.11583754956290213,0.0,0.061221641549969626,0.05545892606145902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04441141014651447,0.054822173546964385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255100534188348,0.05743300069671953,0.0,0.05158501290902962,0.0,0.04325609107425291,0.052649855422613134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03238475658512,0.0,0.08650084158435549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277550678039213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05648552747331356,0.04447590919313301,0.0,0.0,0.033166775372753,0.04542267305043527,0.04230861127154086,0.04798293374326223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234238583893914,0.10762160161012548,0.0,0.11001695696894732,0.0,0.04271316430924354,0.0,0.0,0.11638880064596215,0.09284659263693257,0.3148254714289845,0.0,0.19976984630599512,0.12635479858816762,0.1606472604589335,0.0,0.05531788651600161,0.049721106772062984,0.044405281943006684,0.0,0.0449831042560918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056596366549507005,0.0,0.1009749031600345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057941789834503585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241179530325821,0.049831001979461886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055194103354271065,0.0,0.0,0.10634164324420156,0.0,0.051348613499968936,0.0709371955069338,0.17172883802178615,0.0503289883603623,0.044341087794690266,0.08887803670460474,0.04216826002364202,0.0,0.05481600339557825,0.0,0.0,0.14254497920371095,0.06703829290580877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016285144577137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03872918561386898,0.0,0.0,0.0942474378280864,0.0,0.1445489927677876,0.0,0.0,0.05347772548974029,0.06805446260085453,0.07638209662822594,0.0,0.0,0.05575822088797868,0.0,0.04793624843251769,0.034813011788528504,0.131538360980775,0.10492873846929206,0.0,0.14240925453903192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022895457040681,0.0,0.032169249028039346,0.10325951834574912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042883647832648544,0.04776631186895088,0.07986654841174727,0.0,0.0,0.1200454348842744,0.09142836573236698,0.0,0.0,0.051545351152985024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042547316300342634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217077685646146,0.0,0.04010205581748205,0.08396458823908913,0.11504306322221572,0.0,0.11496915933474493,0.0,0.056983801780414775,0.04732738778407382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04623156197830761,0.0,0.11660781957312345,0.13344343038027046,0.032175978655638426,0.0,0.0,0.20496688443404645,0.11543035150949005,0.0,0.04798293374326223,0.11158223764309697,0.0,0.054619898045087545,0.0,0.10455193301612306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286587116292476,0.059236647307893235,0.1594344794559812,0.08055947464715348,0.0,0.1805985771151308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04840582047897104,0.0,0.1827869210193356,0.05099614125765682,0.0,0.07134310991666053,0.0549026193208411,0.0,0.1940222943459289
mentalhealth,NatureWalks,2019/03/11,"Any advice on how to stop letting fear run my life? I came to a realization last night that the root of many of my “problems” (past or present) has stemmed from fear. 

Fear of messing up, what others might think of me, the fear of change, the fear of growing old, the fear of commitment, the fear of holding onto someone only to lose them at some point. The fear of opening up and letting others know the real me. The fear of showing too much emotion, the fear of being too much or too little. The fear of being imperfect. 

I have such a tight hold on my emotions and feelings because I guess I’m afraid to have to feel anything too deeply in a way. I also don’t want to come off in a negative light to others, and can be super insecure of my personality in certain situations. I find myself being uptight or neurotic at times not wanting to let anything/myself slip. I haven’t gone after so many opportunities for fear of failure or being foolish. I’m often standoffish to people that actually do care about me, if I had to guess why I honestly think I don’t want to have to care so much about someone and then have to be completely broken when they are gone (for whatever reason that may be).

Does anyone have advice here? I’ve come so far in my mental health journey, but I still have such a long way to go...",7.174500000000003,5.945243450000002,7.686153846153848,75.57884615384619,64.5,10.153846153846157,34.615384615384606,9.057496981413335,2.891153846153846,1027,38,200,14,13,341,137,260,0.172,0.763,0.065,-0.9704,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,2,3,17,24,0,15,15,0,26,2,0,3,2,42,46,17,0,5,7,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,7,8,0,5,7,1,0,9,5,18,0,0,4,4,21,6,46,30,4,39,0,1,0,0,3,16,0,11,12,147,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.06026280946796511,0.0,0.0,0.12069021484210232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049384498728241265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04199470773301748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043179699084619584,0.0,0.050818123022922435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037644548774529885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062990606779443,0.12592424785629167,0.0,0.0653273416352983,0.10639087675629492,0.0647476937974882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054041174387753715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892944652839054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8338824441660458,0.062449162626708875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056441862640823584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03509611275897912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605756554932266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065641411204749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03393827841238817,0.0503375964877227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944236088406785,0.043618541557882425,0.0,0.061893539903140525,0.0,0.054650177666015404,0.0,0.06908671623320124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521733931912685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062233314798401565,0.06551103245157784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618846524829648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795176640760349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480023441305016,0.0,0.0,0.04696655446056939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589509982581246,0.042812315615284084,0.05392104404366967,0.0,0.0,0.0583773100787504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909005515735991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028935424569012,0.0,0.06349320071119434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941386867383867,0.0,0.0,0.10464760389584117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931667162004975,0.05162894945768205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791386945664814,0.0,0.0,0.03600914262573598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927198956278483,0.09803459832620977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572320741161983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CornBar,2019/03/11,"Am I going crazy? I have had 2 problems for the past couple years that are always on my mind. I am hoping someone on here could help.

1. Whenever I hold a weapon such as a knife, I have a weird urge to slit my throat with it. I do NOT want to die or commit suicide, but for some reason my body wants to kill me.
2. I always feel like someone is watching and judging me, but not just in public, like EVERYWHERE. Even when I am in my house I feel like I am being judged by god for doing something bad, even though I am an atheist.

Sorry that I am not good at describing things, but I could not find much about these specific things on the internet and I hope someone on here can help me. Thanks.",2.003541666666667,3.4972044930555555,3.3483333333333363,92.43,76.9861111111111,6.188888888888887,21.722222222222214,6.816661863887847,0.36195555555555536,533,14,119,5,12,174,90,144,0.162,0.647,0.191,0.7053,0,0,1,0,0,4,17.0,0,0,0,0,9,12,2,0,6,0,17,2,2,1,1,27,25,9,3,7,9,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,3,21,7,17,21,2,11,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,4,6,87,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453634410915139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310607021051395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637723742557901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354373579484987,0.1631393287513417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301922940608034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947651880400341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909998078359854,0.21066203792993649,0.0,0.0,0.13475730147801998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379343321578447,0.12366550476194413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765157330152144,0.0,0.0,0.2928819683171934,0.0,0.17012572771491166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312028807805906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160949090078612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887216252841834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838521392110304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074796743072915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410799715782907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159266526144535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374775779377216,0.1135063574014298,0.0,0.1650467793614778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127520521724767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574275401953514,0.0,0.0,0.1959048966821768,0.0,0.14485884993577924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392762217790125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494639393777117
mentalhealth,ThriftAllDay,2019/03/11,"Concerned about my brother-in-law Hi All - I wanted to reach out to the community for guidance, as I'm starting to have serious concerns about my brother-in-law's mental health. He's always been odd, but in a ""that's just who he is"" kind of way.   He's almost 40, and he's been diagnosed with ADD as a kid, but I think that's it, and he is resistent to further diagnosis/treatment.

He is a frequent recreational drug user, mostly pot but he does have a history with crack and harder drugs. I don't believe he does those any more. He has always had a problem keeping a job or a girlfriend, moves frequently, and is effectively homeless (currently living with parents).

The issue is, within the last 6 months or so,  something seems to have shifted in his mind. He says the moon is an alien base to keep an eye on earth, and that everyone is being watched all the time.  He also says he's being followed by interdimensional lights, and that cellphone waves cause irritability, things of that nature.  He doesn't seem angry about it, more matter of fact, or even interested in the idea of this.  He hasn't expressed hearing voices, and he is lucid when you talk to him and can carry a conversation, although he seems compelled to talk about these things and it's hard to get him to change the subject, and if he does he ends up going right back to the conspiracy theories a few minutes later. Other than his fixation with this subject, he seems exactly as he always has. He has never mentioned anything like this previously. His parents have spoken to him about getting help but he wasn't interested and they seem to have dropped it for now. 

I'm not really asking for a diagnosis, as that is something a doctor would have to provide (but, if you or a loved one has experienced similar symptoms, I would be interested to hear about it) but I would appreciate guidance on how to help someone who is resistant to seeking treatment. He doesn't feel that he needs any help. I am not particularly close with him, but I am concerned; any intervention would come from my husband and his parents.

Thank you for any guidance.",5.908496067523501,6.7826417381546165,6.580112219451372,75.356636773451,66.78054862842893,9.061998849031268,33.3781891425283,9.162432508145574,2.969199808171878,1671,72,302,29,26,549,199,401,0.045,0.843,0.111,0.9808,6,0,4,0,0,0,54.0,0,3,1,1,14,9,0,0,22,0,38,8,1,4,5,67,62,34,0,9,16,4,2,1,1,4,6,5,0,1,22,21,0,2,9,0,0,4,8,2,0,1,4,11,22,7,51,51,6,30,0,0,2,1,60,11,0,13,14,199,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051836755311377,0.0,0.0,0.07228951375683182,0.22564971969322356,0.0,0.0,0.2458890607828764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438806706488063,0.0,0.08450789987177125,0.0,0.0,0.06950881458854773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184514681054696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286141958384196,0.09562680362171072,0.0778680046060425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174986611127632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252396389531198,0.23731800382362594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966093142543515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080063875766394,0.0,0.0,0.059705594133778586,0.0,0.0,0.08637709078515728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045706848475354285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094456181971574,0.0,0.051374034189612505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809769094344349,0.0,0.0,0.09608654173885446,0.20376534364130108,0.0,0.18177126108929298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204589069622548,0.0,0.09434976246650033,0.0897039144151901,0.16069593687261613,0.0,0.09413334797685904,0.0,0.0736846676081402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044162837179941836,0.0,0.07982117530469691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158576717859173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109773678191818,0.0,0.09127402081641643,0.0,0.07215309024222359,0.09607646302978523,0.0,0.0670273636237432,0.06971883794567099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612545548575856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30112161962185674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649660248038821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579098843487341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719754614961483,0.0,0.14377278679479166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114648496410544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659209464772583,0.1391822547922758,0.0,0.0,0.06398263476986392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395588082922808,0.0,0.1453134903833625,0.0,0.08322433654237844,0.0,0.0,0.12010994744832562,0.057921998773775026,0.0,0.0,0.05271053626643878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533178034684126,0.07175200343073737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568584203350079,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cursedmidchild,2019/03/11,"How to improve my mental health and organise my life? I need a way to improve my life and relax. I'm always stressed out and can't enjoy anything, Be it work or fun.
I cannot get over the fact that I was dumped by the girl loved, even though she cheated and I wasn't at fault for that. I've tried studying again but I can't because of job stress and the fact that I'm scared to try and fail ",0.7038372093023249,2.3682211860465117,2.049011627906978,99.51909883720931,81.32558139534882,4.765116279069769,20.05232558139535,5.148860815047168,-0.4978325581395349,306,8,75,1,8,98,58,86,0.21600000000000005,0.653,0.131,-0.8669,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,4,11,2,3,4,0,6,4,0,1,2,13,11,10,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,0,9,4,9,8,0,5,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,44,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009006422113675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18799623325311896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926199849869916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508901527378046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935655219162515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24283340898571876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267030006762679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227242969669586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061865232129728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302255193423368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939399534552307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287199439813496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5233811603911791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244525750437452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102073333436246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133427719769105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631551377007586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,isuckatsex69,2019/03/11,"Spring Break Depression It’s my university’s spring break this week and I feel so lonely and alone and it’s hitting me really hard. All of my friends took trips and none invited me; don’t get me wrong my friends are the best and I’m sure there wasn’t room for me or something, but it just really sucks. My girlfriend of 1.5 years and I broke up about a month ago and that’s been really hard to deal with too. I know it was for the best but it hurts so bad and I miss her so unbelievably much. I’ve made a list of goals I want to accomplish over my break and so far I haven’t done anything besides lay on the couch. I want to do other things and I want to invest myself in my hobbies but for some reason I just can’t right now.

I know my situation may not compare to a lot of people’s on here but I just needed a place to vent and let things out. I just feel so broken and lonely and don’t want to do anything.

Thanks for listening.",1.0123095051060496,2.815577154228855,2.6840481801518727,94.66154752553024,80.94029850746269,6.221628698612203,19.036658811207122,7.273561745256523,0.12270547263681575,732,17,174,10,19,241,107,201,0.19,0.684,0.126,-0.9514,0,5,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,14,15,1,0,7,0,13,0,0,2,2,41,31,23,0,5,10,0,4,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,10,15,0,0,5,0,1,2,7,9,0,0,6,5,25,6,23,22,7,22,0,6,0,0,6,10,1,4,7,117,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845076839540678,0.0,0.0,0.15007931483414705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23849121837110945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099077990288665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041406250331752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493921215636469,0.12480765827568704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828954371326786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465380458304347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22390862935859213,0.0,0.07570760610514342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596153194046749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512528366981812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927352067563452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817659780534506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319422781860395,0.0,0.13711392650457396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566289513948486,0.0,0.10652286714888158,0.10744624941583394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004598429163943,0.0,0.15139633203918867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784922250099697,0.14898789934708725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237492622333077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16288084965681154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115560157387096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657255428839474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334103318130822,0.0,0.0,0.192538728560167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609963270913986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418781643825332,0.0,0.11623516255417853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584323857462901,0.0,0.09331496190117633
mentalhealth,lachlansterling,2019/03/11,"First Stay at a Psych Hospital Tomorrow Hi everyone, 

I will be staying at a psychiatric hospital starting tomorrow for the first time. Any tips, tricks, and helpful advice for me?",5.615376344086023,8.648767096774192,6.330322580645162,68.08215053763442,71.58064516129029,11.8752688172043,39.36559139784946,11.20814326018867,6.148217204301076,144,9,21,6,3,47,25,31,0.05,0.858,0.092,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,14,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938457393559148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044899159221535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28733680101131354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5115595498748359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015564242880808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21284075937189445,0.6410236803077166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753436788935235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pappi_soviet,2019/03/11,"I think I’m bipolar and I don’t know what to do about it. I feel like I’ve been doing better, I’m working out more and have less mood swings, but then I’ll just become an emotional wreck out of nowhere. I want to tell my parents but some part of me won’t let me. I’ve only told a couple really close friends, but they have stuff they’re dealing with right now as well and aren’t much help. Any advice would be great",1.994945054945056,3.051946736263737,3.0953846153846136,96.0246153846154,76.14285714285714,6.079120879120879,20.69230769230769,6.18269132825596,-0.11722417582417588,327,7,79,2,7,105,68,91,0.054000000000000006,0.7140000000000001,0.231,0.9504,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,2,4,6,0,0,2,0,11,1,0,0,0,17,18,8,0,2,4,1,1,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,1,8,5,9,12,5,6,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,3,48,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091036993691245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551716147638888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363296589097205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892523739099131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23677037086912034,0.0,0.0,0.2206091747560162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407043624737772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819726309074017,0.15287095156784974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16532430702011605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359192562241407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342965816904976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760057889587973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21881419594181512,0.0,0.10454227916781901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730362196073122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627452614476669,0.0,0.0,0.237605057646913,0.23172493992394974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708429264846078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827420504656592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449616692956457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18703235212683292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711296991843386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044718708123962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621391764524847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923982447924672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578365383341916,0.0,0.0,0.15200882914211553,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alt-for-advice,2019/03/11,"I don’t know where to start sorting out my mental issues. Parents and school counselors are a no-go I’m a fourteen year old girl. I am pretty sure I have mental health issues. I think I fit much more with anxiety than depression though. I’ve been told I’m too hard on myself. The moment I do something I perceive to be embarrassing I feel sick. I avoid asking for help because I don’t want to appear stupid, and a wave of anxiety hits my chest whenever I’m forced to make a phone call or email by myself. But I’ve never had a panic attack and I’m not scared by public speaking or standing up for myself. 
What particularly disturbs me is that when I’m in a shitty situation I vividly envision myself launching myself out a window or cracking my skull open. I don’t make plans for suicide and I don’t have any debilitating loss of motivation so I’ve chalked it up to morbid intrusive thoughts.
I also have focus issues, which frustrates me the most. I make good grades and words and facts stick in my head, but I lose things super easily and sometimes I’m so inside my own head I forget to listen in class. It makes me feel crazy more than anything even though it’s the least concerning at its surface because I can’t remember important things and I can’t trust my own brain.
I’ve talked to my mom about therapy but she hasn’t really taken me seriously. She says we have the same problems and there’s nothing wrong with me. She would prefer I see a church counselor, and I abhor the very thought. She’s a very negative person and I kind of blame her for a lot of my issues.
My resting state is uneasy and it has been for a few years, or maybe even my whole life. I have friends but I don’t think I can come to them with years of baggage and self-doubt, or that they’d be particularly helpful anyway. The most I’ve tried is through casual conversation turned cry for help on this group chat where I just downplay or hide how I feel.
I take Health and my teacher, who I adore, is very big on getting our needs met in a healthy way (as in Maslow), and I really don’t feel as if I’ve done that. My current coping methods are just feeding the pleasure center of my brain with Reddit, TV, and food, which I think could translate to drugs and more addictive behaviors when I get older so I wanna nip that in the bud now. 

I just don’t know where to start. My mom’s always telling me to get my act together, but I always have a r/wowthanksimcured reaction. I know that, but how?? I’ve taken small steps as in catching myself when I say or think self-deprecating stuff but I still largely feel like shit.

Thanks for reading through this this scrambled mess of a post. I really need advice or at least a point to jump off and research because I am just lost.",3.5032864578960634,4.986962940433216,4.514795567122828,85.64105574678871,73.02527075812273,7.2473511879775,25.880110821929307,7.82057824672937,1.374681605238854,2175,72,441,29,43,708,276,554,0.135,0.7390000000000001,0.126,-0.344,2,1,3,0,0,1,49.0,2,0,2,6,26,28,4,5,23,0,36,15,7,8,3,92,82,48,1,9,21,3,6,1,2,1,6,4,1,2,20,27,2,1,18,4,0,6,13,17,0,0,11,12,76,11,58,65,15,52,1,4,2,0,36,27,1,14,16,289,96,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360814942023563,0.0,0.07494481990660236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133243474971022,0.12763166689181665,0.0,0.0,0.05215478010705269,0.0,0.11734191798550908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311290576335747,0.0,0.07169885347625016,0.08725088194127069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025647060435575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17123249210197866,0.07831349449873387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606538159400595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123418857735336,0.0,0.08424512949883506,0.0,0.0,0.0660567213258278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848493594010242,0.0,0.0,0.08894108376125791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131177444962644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389480963721573,0.05479045071306431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273909848361517,0.0,0.059253855638079285,0.0,0.1202088791944078,0.0,0.04358715996296228,0.06432757235377193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870306294806564,0.0,0.15742103513413308,0.1630449907671886,0.0,0.0,0.15421979524766138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201958541092226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986535145309162,0.12644760804598085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417147936841317,0.03746897978608797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580134707374125,0.08372093020542888,0.06520278393484877,0.0,0.0,0.20477626582718172,0.0,0.07704977139293591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545797089137356,0.0,0.0,0.1796469645240305,0.0,0.0,0.056379163324568125,0.11373576034075394,0.0591514018687721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359028620069727,0.0,0.08047780682709517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998428145294032,0.08515998668589374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696653809616178,0.0,0.0,0.07250093963636897,0.0,0.07345197596200187,0.07802571431621387,0.0,0.07338612410017313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671509302737495,0.0,0.14739707124588328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687973479629206,0.0,0.0,0.12198083244185892,0.07678441222415197,0.07761876502689964,0.06111545809532335,0.0,0.16001784283448758,0.0,0.07872563629185499,0.0,0.08620764978482108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05904304868531541,0.07585266179638749,0.0,0.10856929499726664,0.0,0.06124819775643205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779666856574808,0.08389115826966217,0.0,0.07228350634908437,0.0,0.05766459778635075,0.06164400411635044,0.06703423224526389,0.07060984263559189,0.08770665999565731,0.0,0.10190462117985072,0.19657054118887995,0.1507035962577595,0.12177347577741722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328472705281942,0.0,0.052070421459079384,0.08342141690011068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18984258390688086,0.045236307899708936,0.060876396034145235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562648996690411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448145756694096,0.08385321941632372,0.0,0.14816591831777906
mentalhealth,jsalas2727,2019/03/11,"My issues are ruining my relationship and I need help. So I've had a gf for a little over 7 months now and everything was going great. So great that I recently moved in and we were very seriously considering getting married and starting a family together. However recently some serious issues have been happening. The last couple times I got  drunk I went off on her and hurt her deeply (emotionally not pyshically) and completely unprovoked. Now I love her deeply more than I have ever loved anyone in my life and have no major issues with her and shes treat me great and I know that. My family is a mess right now my parents are starting the process for what's going to be a very messy divorce and my mom is not coping the best. And on top of that my brother just ended an engagement  with his gf of 9 years and is now dating her best friend who is married. I have a hard time accepting all this. What's happening with me is definitely new. I drink too much sometimes yeah but I was always a happy drunk. This is not me and whether I've ruined this relationahip already or not remains to be seen. Either way I need to get back to the old me because I dont recognize this person. So basically I'm just asking for some advice because this has never happened before and idk where to turn or what to do. Thank you. 

PS: I have quit drinking for now possibly permanently but at least till I figure my shit out. ",3.567768011301208,5.431709631768952,5.081685763616388,80.0801836446398,73.62093862815884,8.571903939726887,26.84492230419087,9.20300075937882,2.360185810704756,1116,41,213,26,23,375,159,277,0.114,0.7609999999999999,0.125,0.6086,2,0,2,0,1,0,19.0,1,1,0,4,14,20,1,0,12,1,24,8,1,0,3,41,45,23,0,2,12,3,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,12,19,4,0,3,4,0,4,7,7,0,0,8,2,35,13,25,35,10,39,0,3,1,2,23,12,1,4,22,155,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891164415456777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169950028637303,0.0,0.08422368640147701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077582944312226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946276405783795,0.0,0.0,0.07783242908526505,0.0,0.12340633306907152,0.0,0.08613131481281941,0.0,0.21244964710729905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612792192150362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199871996721586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118629843700248,0.19831539669123693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385960324609072,0.08965144880928591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155986963816287,0.0,0.0,0.09097059021749702,0.0,0.1908436339922977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820282030117337,0.0,0.10576722000634868,0.0,0.11505205193200925,0.0,0.08095539758864433,0.3347883599083481,0.0,0.0,0.2685272499110617,0.10775126025717252,0.0906738173914709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784606562595863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083587954403582,0.0,0.0,0.3169441706000004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055628220099476516,0.08250833653587883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149513598528183,0.0,0.10144967928634993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271117054385547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854839767840822,0.0807933542357643,0.10758152818162003,0.07440882168296017,0.15010765345081298,0.07806760253983064,0.09775953101539324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621404122582216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239354914429232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838196415289977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411107010698172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766061691616367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988635389241696,0.10867309343803984,0.0,0.08644187894460696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390153892485224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010980747076413,0.0,0.14328898896901462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319037175998893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804514579305835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009899701642592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703526788715678,0.0,0.08034423765973253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383255327650812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518277761668148
mentalhealth,hesarah2h,2019/03/11,"Are stress pains a real thing? What can I do about it? So I’ve been suffering from BPD and depression for about 7 years now and ever since I’ve been experiencing change in me I also had these constant aches and muscle stiffness knee and below. 

Initially thought it was a joint problem, but reports turn out to be normal. 

After many years of observation I realized it occurs after something depressing or when I’m undergoing an episode. 

It has gotten to a point where the pain remains for hours making me restless and hard to find sleep while in pain. And at times I feel so painful to the point I feel like either chopping my leg off or just to end life because of how unbearable the pain is. 

- Does anyone else go through this? 
- I am assuming it’s for the stress. I have not received any diagnosis for this matter as doctors just fail to provide one. 

Currently I’m trying the following 
- meditation 
- keeping ice
- and Massage (only if someone is around to help) 

These are somewhat successful but not all the time. Keeping ice and massage works but i need someone to help. Meditation doesn’t work all the time. 

It would be really helpful to know what I can do on my own about it that actually works. Taking warm showers haven’t helped either. ",4.919862884160757,6.6783517404255335,5.469326241134752,79.10361111111109,69.8936170212766,8.286052009456265,30.92789598108747,8.841846274778883,2.631208037825059,989,42,178,18,18,318,148,235,0.18,0.746,0.07400000000000001,-0.9789,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,5,14,16,0,3,11,0,20,11,3,2,3,44,35,21,0,5,12,0,4,1,0,1,8,0,1,0,15,10,0,3,7,0,0,3,4,13,0,1,6,5,13,3,31,26,6,29,0,4,0,0,5,11,0,5,16,124,28,7,0.0,0.0,0.10078072645431356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258834430976847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702300007240766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221172527875447,0.10581662725377568,0.0,0.09193593772293604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06295499672245976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300702457286323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092504150646065,0.0,0.0,0.11160272661370173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17789984262308015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570552477078254,0.09037595262028476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862723462989584,0.0,0.09147029209260056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341743085021648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443708203363666,0.07377911258283014,0.0,0.0,0.0943907522665464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058693110573489686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251340242802522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27689009034720197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017042887767744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18358971687456105,0.0,0.0,0.05675680213395004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294562506943625,0.05045455991006143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893633367736092,0.10470383419450628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657651431651243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118679356698553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699812739664718,0.0785446865053385,0.5494551766872474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19525500952001487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881946655921943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754865472461745,0.0661601001165972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542948946138089,0.0,0.10334878824960476,0.0,0.17500779727059496,0.07950552841772338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366005054661889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764934941680184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861079276489834,0.0,0.0,0.08198818281341831,0.18066005807849708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011640599898933,0.11233267894664216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255545533705767,0.0,0.0,0.07336303204656032,0.0,0.0,0.1330104038962797
mentalhealth,iamdeeprest,2019/03/11,"Question on Gender Dysphoria A little backstory before we get into any question...  


I'm a male, age 17, who has had slight mental problems from a young age - only to escalate to the point where I began therapy at 14-15 and started medication a little afterwards. 

The simple explanation for me is that I have a depressive disorder of some sort. And along with this, I don't like the fact that I'm alive, here and have to go through life. I don't want to live, and I don't think I will ever be glad that I ever existed in the first place. I've attempted to commit suicide a few times (which failed clearly) and I've come to learn that just because I have these feelings doesn't mean I should resort to fulfilling them. I've have learnt to sort of 'accept' it over the last 3-5 years, as I know it's something that ultimately can't be changed instantly. I know that feeding my own 'dysphoria' to life wouldn't help.

​

What I'm about to ask may be rude as Gender Dysphoria isn't exactly the same as Depression and Suicidal thoughts (or maybe it is, I don't know)

​

But why would someone with Gender Dysphoria act on changing their gender? Whether it's literally getting surgery or just dressing as the gender they wish to be if they know they're just feeding their mental illness and not accepting the way things are?

​

I'm sorry if this comes rude and ignorant towards anyone, but I'm really interested in this.",7.897672147995893,6.9265610179856125,8.029105858170606,72.86561151079138,62.92086330935252,11.539979445015414,37.4830421377184,10.7630783206399,3.977632271325795,1145,49,212,25,14,374,158,278,0.117,0.84,0.043,-0.9013,0,0,1,0,0,2,40.0,1,0,5,3,8,12,2,0,14,0,25,6,0,0,6,57,48,19,2,8,11,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,18,15,2,1,13,0,0,4,9,7,0,1,3,1,20,5,32,36,4,30,0,3,0,0,12,13,0,10,13,137,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224311264127129,0.36159599585613417,0.06745556288048059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935899935964378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273333161789203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046795808442116,0.0,0.08440709004687119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098689496548076,0.1708943070295787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17087190512266032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113685324560349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794539460595336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050155646315967715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437466764089452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364991272319897,0.0,0.056374437848805664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648788519090255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21805849328030172,0.08085663857258267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401278128433912,0.04846135132465318,0.1988376058895284,0.0875904327393293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965406216754452,0.10805173235432992,0.0,0.09992787682946283,0.19992915804215688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544177680283169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363698847300007,0.0,0.09377072786994033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491560119001577,0.0,0.0,0.2222407584610798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354644379298761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404705504519439,0.07636466063268847,0.0,0.1110399591970229,0.07021027497906394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21700504882429025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343738975085725,0.0,0.06590032177011734,0.06355973735484853,0.0,0.07874923770762345,0.05784102606702421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850740058238616,0.07873586183643065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950747664094998,0.0,0.11406861279353987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046482372629262,0.0,0.36159599585613417,0.06387791236849359
mentalhealth,MeanTimeMeTime,2019/03/11,"Forgetting names and spellings at 25? Hello all,

I am experiencing some strange symptoms that seem to be getting worse over the past few years. Sometimes I struggle to recolect the name of a person I see on a daily basis for 10 to 20 seconds before I am able to recall it. Additionally my abiltu to spell has gotten much worse than it ever was. Lastly I feel that I am very anxious for large parts of the day without cause. When should I go to a doctor about this?",4.065274725274726,5.636496626373629,4.910769230769231,83.00923076923078,71.74725274725273,6.518681318681319,27.285714285714285,6.868970318607317,1.2739846153846155,367,13,70,3,7,119,69,91,0.146,0.8540000000000001,0.0,-0.8991,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,6,0,7,2,0,1,2,13,13,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,3,8,0,16,9,5,10,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,2,6,51,13,1,0.21303498540663368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24066889551173096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18127708181296048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188456132001255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738994164265894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21805033462894732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270234078338846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771688960669976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113019871801992,0.0,0.12107269159975514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365194650714497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660522639346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23069612908760756,0.20336599898168428,0.0,0.1860139321146269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697613016365465,0.1939390496797065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106970478576326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227104216013476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22142491947655005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17577617378902005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053581237608124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4342017004346694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718754597551447
mentalhealth,Rizumu972,2019/03/11,"Is Xanax a medication that is prescribed as something you take daily? Or is it an as needed medication? Someone told me that they take it whenever they experience extreme anxiety or are having an attack. So I wanted to learn more and find out if it is like other medications where you’re supposed to take it every day, or if you just take it when you have panic or anxiety. ",7.064166666666665,6.891508194444448,8.310555555555556,67.54,64.27777777777779,11.088888888888887,34.66666666666667,10.686352973137794,3.8158499999999993,298,12,52,7,4,103,48,72,0.133,0.835,0.033,-0.7691,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,2,0,4,3,1,1,3,0,7,4,0,0,0,13,14,11,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,1,5,13,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,6,3,42,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818457162122513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095695019568785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880249725230288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520785716343707,0.0,0.0,0.18019619532398232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836784329309473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899974333541785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5567273005824604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659200983975506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21613490463894375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608353932130029,0.14181658719880988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5540226422817633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602393703989044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865392195452167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Grintastic,2019/03/11,"I think I have ADHD but I can't go to a check up and tell for sure Ever since I was a kid I've struggled with paying attention and interacting with the world outside my head. I remember a couple of times where my brother would try to tell my mom I probably have ADD or something but she shrugged it off as just an insult as he used call me retarded, handicapped, down syndrome etc. When I was younger having a zippy brain was actually beneficial and helped me out a lot as long as I could pay attention. But now that I'm 18 I've been getting literal brain freezes where I cannot focus on one particular thing and I'm sitting there telling myself to pay attention and after the 100th time I finally get my shit together. When I use my phone I open like 10 different apps in like a 5 minute period. And I can never stay still I always have to be moving in some way. The only time I feel focused is when I'm playing video games and even then I'd find myself getting yanked around by all the different things that are happening.

The reason why I can't get a check up is because my parents don't believe in mental health and even though I can legally go on my own I'd get in a lot of trouble with them for it. I've looked around online a bit but I'm still unsure, are these things normal, is it ADHD, or maybe something else entirely?",4.316330089213301,4.895078354014603,5.548856447688569,82.39247364152476,70.2043795620438,8.862611516626115,29.09083536090835,8.998388855275968,2.2090241686942407,1055,38,218,19,18,353,159,274,0.105,0.818,0.077,-0.8126,3,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,16,8,2,1,15,0,22,5,4,3,4,43,39,23,0,3,7,3,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,9,16,0,0,8,3,5,3,5,4,0,1,4,3,30,4,30,32,7,39,0,0,1,0,16,17,1,5,18,143,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.10193425652484207,0.0,0.25107228754336186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691598872316571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18597646175829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367557578915564,0.0,0.0,0.11768645195388408,0.0,0.0,0.11403919850031224,0.0,0.0,0.233215497611422,0.10666153581607853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339983600422117,0.11557888163761043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21826915024512966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725981433190627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164963585356227,0.13798476914121113,0.09448668108672964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281623126396428,0.0,0.0,0.1144267436189312,0.09547114308084192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27287046239973106,0.0,0.11872981670064048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923703391224128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107202273916119,0.11103213586406772,0.0,0.0,0.07001483937366068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206411947331397,0.0,0.0,0.0924405164398638,0.08771696312130564,0.0,0.0,0.17760997944198084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494036824242547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526735694962484,0.0,0.0,0.12233792696569976,0.0,0.11102048948181216,0.0,0.0,0.08056311890282579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023449714570089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707822753755142,0.07944370421390022,0.0,0.0,0.1159863319614869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262153173355376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073984479983242,0.0,0.0,0.1183285971846899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722286534057067,0.08640731020618646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083108772884738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133649093543596,0.16683783249574072,0.0,0.0,0.10920037865129877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984488031176958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738981656723467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20818832318817596,0.0669313633416736,0.10262775995852626,0.0,0.18272788212451094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091895412106393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18043336724393835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291252915619465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425554116760028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742027408530772,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TrashCubed,2019/03/11,"I feel like I've grown to like nothing. (Not sure if this is the right subreddit.)

Right... so, I recently got asked a very simple question; ""What are your hobbies?""

It hit me like a truck that I've got no clue. I don't have any hobbies. I spent hours thinking it over, I've got no hobbies, no interests, nothing I like to do for fun, nothing I genuinely like. Every time in my life I was interested in something or got an opportunity I made up excuses to avoid it, and now I'm stuck in my room, browsing the internet and playing games merely to kill time until the next morning, where the whole cycle of endlessly doing nothing repeats. 

Now I can't even think of something I would remotely like to go out of my way to do for fun. I've always been content with just staying inside watching videos or browsing Reddit, but now it's seriously depressing me. 

Yet I can't muster up the motivation to do something about it. I used to be doing absolutely nothing with my life in contentedness; Now I'm just doing nothing being depressed about me not doing anything. 

Is this like, a common problem people have? ",5.316969292389854,6.1126948224299085,6.4172229639519385,76.27981308411219,68.06542056074767,8.918024032042723,33.97730307076102,9.04235418022936,3.0317994659546064,868,40,159,15,14,291,118,214,0.097,0.7440000000000001,0.159,0.8905,0,1,3,0,1,0,31.0,0,1,0,2,12,21,1,1,9,0,20,2,0,3,1,24,36,8,1,3,8,0,1,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,9,5,0,1,5,3,1,2,8,6,0,0,9,2,20,15,26,23,1,29,0,2,1,0,5,12,0,4,20,106,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775228894701992,0.0,0.0,0.07171733231066682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678570260351716,0.0,0.09859212310924312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816674070891877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965622499292888,0.0,0.08885573326763233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053324425747833935,0.07534160729226591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059936113796772536,0.0,0.3373882927496756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385818311864836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667735493820505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489809363456433,0.3606616092333994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997900763784933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215933885320332,0.0,0.0,0.6071580399103785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311361911340207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091226611024,0.0,0.0,0.11814084448282015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413035710478027,0.0,0.0,0.18012682803058702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435678916395456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240776370883804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993960713625264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515074549249392,0.0,0.0,0.12299071894155293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910847429263251,0.0,0.08701665599215339,0.0,0.08371030834173092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774382756379473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491671499865908,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xunavolt,2019/03/11,"Diagnosed with dementia at age 30 Hi all , first time posting here. I hope everyone is having a good day. I just wanted to start of by saying that as of 2 hours ago , I have been diagnosed with dementia. 
Now I have been given some medication by the name of CEREBROLYSIN. I'm wondering if any one has any experience with it, and what can I expect.? 
  Thank you for taking the time to read my stupid post and have a wonderful day.",2.4357142857142877,4.620770904761908,4.238333333333333,83.37750000000003,78.04761904761905,8.485714285714286,23.595238095238088,9.188382445141503,2.044052380952381,332,11,67,9,8,112,62,84,0.04,0.82,0.141,0.8225,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,3,4,1,0,4,0,9,3,0,0,1,15,18,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,7,3,13,15,2,13,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,5,10,46,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524938857276694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535429212063417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404499466405117,0.0,0.0,0.3784231636833148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17813155130404473,0.0,0.18235376592487787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856809131806168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563595951819777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851563461061041,0.1835853781134628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779774950644526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632248646067393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3570761589936337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646966535812004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824804421094673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194848176149096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016405153017844,0.0,0.0,0.171629769419037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21740508993438554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995488453733086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4043273789040524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,buckythirteen96,2019/03/11,"Back at it again with the Depression vibes First time poster! 

Okay so to jump right in; I've been suffering with depression since I was around 16. I got put on prozac at 18 and took it for three years. I then switched to citalopram, came off it of my own volition a year or so later, but am now back on it.

I can feel myself slipping back into a rut again.

Now, I have a fiancee, a home, a cat, a job that I don't mind and pays the bills. I've been scouring my brain and I can't find any reasons for depression to be rearing its ugly head again.

Im finding it very hard to do simple daily tasks like brush my teeth or clear the coffee table. Or eat. I've had two cups of tea today and some crisps and that's it. Its nearly 4pm here.

I just. Because I'm struggling to do the household things I feel like I'm letting my gf down. I've promised her before she left for work that I'd tidy the coffee table before I got ready for my work. I have 15 minutes before I need to start getting ready and I'm just sat here.

I don't know what to do. I hate the fact that I'm probably gonna be on medication for the rest of my life and I resent that I might need to change it yet again. ",1.3710193452380963,2.627210953125001,2.9924107142857146,95.32104166666667,78.140625,5.9699404761904775,20.78422619047619,6.42735559955562,-0.0031976934523809675,908,22,220,7,21,300,143,256,0.116,0.8,0.084,-0.8512,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,17,11,2,1,13,1,18,8,3,1,2,32,36,14,0,2,6,0,3,2,2,2,3,0,1,0,16,12,2,1,6,0,2,4,3,7,0,3,9,4,25,4,29,22,3,35,0,4,0,0,4,13,0,5,20,135,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555019433537972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199113281378877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902036834240288,0.0,0.07668819804159897,0.0,0.3211466622666012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043749149921853,0.0,0.14388484921490982,0.0,0.0,0.13308264479048773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250612121256977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12872763555265934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721931612816575,0.0898735206361621,0.0,0.0,0.22996289667123315,0.10700776786120826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572675252911363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20123192735463555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269456748889715,0.1242041856643234,0.12910993125230893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261904308832504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358885743404342,0.0,0.12483983283242035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913790975869255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668507254562373,0.1286418508733729,0.0888582135307684,0.12292175312286575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267330508742399,0.0,0.1334568534915042,0.1270249305724251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18656231279398894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563665851926046,0.0,0.0,0.126466526040175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293461951051337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743487415482313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040653474304731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904384475216429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151636495534616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357776725081607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335660410037975,0.0,0.11924631173236665,0.0,0.13977150108453482,0.0,0.0,0.12289102179932228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380045646840637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317182282155745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202571243962766
mentalhealth,whatagwanwan,2019/03/11,"I constantly phase out Hey, I didn't know where to go to ask my question so I decided this sub fit the most since you all seem so very caring. Anyways, for the past 6-7 months I have been tired in an odd way and I dont know what the problem is. I constantly ""phase out"" and having big problems with phasing back in. I can do my studies and all of a sudden just stop to stare at whatever is infront of me and begin to feel mentally tired(?). I might be at the gym having a great workout when suddenly I phase out. I also do this when I drive to the gym, I'm aware of everything and I drive completely according to law, no swaying back and forth either. Im really getting tired of this because it is happening constantly and is affecting my everyday life. Do any of you recognize what this might be or had a similar situation? I'd appreciate any help. And yes, I am sleeping enough. I've been trying to get a minimum of 8hrs sleep but its still affecting me.",4.112923076923078,4.751062958974359,5.8117948717948735,80.11153846153849,70.69230769230771,10.1025641025641,30.89743589743589,10.214889679676881,3.080282051282052,747,31,155,20,13,257,117,195,0.07,0.863,0.067,0.2837,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,0,11,4,0,0,10,1,21,6,2,2,2,33,33,15,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,8,12,0,1,6,3,0,3,3,2,0,0,4,2,20,2,22,25,5,29,0,0,1,0,6,10,0,6,15,108,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062336079163067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113259165844286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176307386316678,0.0,0.0,0.19350553531371625,0.0,0.07670263160961234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828844425641914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192663125453388,0.4079210517864314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746765377354026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001235086875873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130846933901879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362163010605831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147824606341849,0.0,0.07151006707517664,0.0,0.0,0.13872409731659133,0.0,0.0,0.1112679077582526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843388122545831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591415007477234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830184455769867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887493763045122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680345957703526,0.266963943098106,0.0,0.0,0.10043346613309052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011557714489562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407978249213722,0.0,0.0,0.14095441259221922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060764118327716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454766775103127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408493368113918,0.14143419355021736,0.2518346261649854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048515970111106,0.10519654025772916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4338569583032457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542789514929483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381999286366037,0.0,0.09987517350054216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hk__47fett,2019/03/11,"Should I be concerned? Hello all,

So this has happened before a few times recently and I decided I should ask to make sure that I'm not losing my mind. While at work typing an email I've went to type simple words and have completely not been able to tell if I've spelt them right and then I panic. Today's word was know. I think I spelt it right at first but then I panicked that it wasn't right. I spent the next thirty or so seconds erasing and retyping the word,even going so far as to right click spell check it. So what's everyone think ? ",2.059646017699116,3.8514387256637193,3.123194690265489,92.79735840707966,77.6725663716814,6.289911504424777,20.14955752212389,7.1686216300943375,0.2981653097345132,428,10,94,5,10,137,77,113,0.063,0.905,0.032,-0.6449,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,3,4,3,0,1,4,0,8,0,0,1,2,21,18,15,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,4,0,2,2,3,2,0,2,5,1,10,1,7,10,2,17,0,1,1,0,5,7,0,2,8,56,17,3,0.1796988709968539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799418681758282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291050377108129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18841084732610844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868940951300615,0.0,0.0,0.1717099720634305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528517678707131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212700954961926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589071181578828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987577999683981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010370714544404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199503917750016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814446333170204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911117879443976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108379068301082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743095607606466,0.0,0.0,0.6138474158934532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693640592657508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706473379960476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302875612247875,0.0,0.0,0.10478385677830587,0.0,0.17033351806754146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665826537400331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308229182889338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imprssvdprssv,2019/03/11,How do I know if I’m just sad or it’s an actual mental condition? I have days where I feel sad and then I’m okay the next. There’s nothing in particular that’s making me sad but I just feel so so down. How would I know if it’s pointing to a more serious condition?,-2.1804999999999986,-0.44653138333332976,1.5,94.995,104.5,5.7333333333333325,16.0,7.1686216300943375,0.25820000000000043,207,6,51,5,10,75,40,60,0.159,0.8140000000000001,0.027000000000000003,-0.7140000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,3,0,15,10,10,0,3,6,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,6,1,3,9,1,7,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,3,3,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.334516022230527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107279780032055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466523658280305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3767795758642584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288166491770717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34545420468071714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645637024487789,0.0,0.0,0.3289186397145464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240497037636875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24350994999139186,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beefbroganoff,2019/03/11,"I'm not sure if I have mental health issues or what's happening but I have a few questions and thoughts. 1. Is there any way to feel / know you have mental health issues? Like, is it obvious for those with it or does it fly under the radar?

2. My parents don't ""believe"" in mental illness, so how can I get tested somewhere? I'm 23, I live with the parents, I have little to no motivation in my life, it's EASY to live here. No bills, nothing. I just work full time and save money. Parents are 67 and 76 I believe, so it's also better for me to stay at home and take care of them even though I don't love them.

3. I obsessively save money. Like, I think about EVERY SINGLE purchase generally, even little coffees here and there. I pay for mostly everything for my gf, but it genuinely makes me feel like garbage to spend money and I just like to hoard it and only spend on things that are necessary like gym membership, deodorant, toothbrushes, all hygiene products really and clothes when needed.

4. Again, little to no motivation. I go to the gym because at better times in life, I'd go all the time but now it's such an obligation that I commit to because I'm in great shape and can only see myself hating everything about myself if I didn't look good.

5. I feel like everyone dislikes me. Not only that, I feel like they have good reason to. I feel annoying, I feel like a burden, I feel like people don't want me places even when I'm invited. If my girlfriend wants to bring me to her family or friends get together and they say yes, I still feel unwanted and it takes a lot to get me to go.

6. How can I get tested for mental health sort of things? I have nobody in my life I can turn to or feel comfortable turning to. Family is religious and I have zero love for them, friends are difficult for me to be serious with, so where do I go?

7. Touching back on friends being difficult for me to be serious with, I have an incredibly hard time expressing myself. I can always show happiness, being grateful, but with everyone aside from very close friends, I'm generally really monotone, and I can never show anger nor can I speak up when someone is doing something I'm uncomfortable with.

I've posted on Reddit on other accounts in different subs, things similar to this post and a lot of people tell me I clearly have 
ADHD, which is now stuck in my head and I use as an excuse for MYSELF to not do things I don't want to do, but obviously I want to be sure. 

I also have pretty solid social skills, although I'm an introvert and absolutely hate going outdoors and if I spend more than an entire day with someone I NEED my alone time excessively.

Dunno, where can I get checked in Canada/Ontario?",2.696766759776537,4.690696415270018,4.440536545623836,83.15231319832405,76.46741154562383,7.529003724394787,24.967760707635012,8.408885092690799,1.7513972998137803,2113,74,412,41,48,713,240,537,0.131,0.675,0.194,0.9941,4,1,1,0,0,0,67.0,0,1,5,6,30,37,4,1,13,1,40,10,1,7,9,88,91,44,0,11,18,3,11,9,6,0,7,2,1,0,21,25,0,0,16,4,11,6,13,10,0,1,3,15,65,27,62,83,9,50,0,0,2,2,25,25,0,14,24,278,86,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509082422769947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064712165700384,0.0,0.09993313640783608,0.051989753991951514,0.0,0.0,0.04248967757458395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04804454677334071,0.0,0.07617649109689584,0.0,0.0,0.14079088957397534,0.0,0.11051991759695726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370422583068867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040295507588897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528004566237006,0.0,0.0,0.05467812968447417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380565948234605,0.0,0.052643501027622455,0.11940782483309192,0.11230899068857098,0.0,0.11780431379949187,0.0,0.2843334833418619,0.2231845844413239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19309273021150955,0.0,0.16322046634040022,0.0,0.17754886219601207,0.10481331923391167,0.0,0.06888626076056244,0.0,0.0,0.05525233363475985,0.06651289859707331,0.05597130286155508,0.12337542522935847,0.06412421845684352,0.1992452774308232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267420854951505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304292585827587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03433829129962185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239795205986393,0.2747284870538215,0.18786914087984705,0.11034491706211286,0.0,0.05246886563210993,0.0,0.0,0.10623936140351402,0.11278429161692405,0.0,0.04170699930123788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251867306422772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265873186809384,0.048189715081339256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995284663976855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425603746433318,0.0,0.0,0.2081354979799933,0.0,0.0,0.08663384435389375,0.0,0.06528004566237006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968033493518715,0.06356632003850042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999376899184356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005471431791361,0.06424156214036222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049687931097547364,0.0,0.0,0.04978980074238936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636921931436044,0.1058810309326464,0.048101441450047834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665971458081991,0.049897941652777465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177764673699647,0.0,0.09395687844454306,0.0,0.05461173278297232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660401784229347,0.04003573065897916,0.06138792265233401,0.04960346599389833,0.1821678185775044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592422783204625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053964100925262576,0.0,0.05155392061585605,0.14741322911364918,0.04959504064793735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04548739925666148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VerlanderFan_23,2019/03/11,"Anxiety meds besides SSRI’s SSRI’s don’t work for me and I would never take benzos, so what’s a good everyday medication for Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Gabapentin? Propranolol?",2.9306093189964137,3.870559838709681,5.546881720430108,61.42921146953408,128.03225806451613,10.410035842293908,32.47670250896057,8.167268648758528,5.8315562724014365,149,9,19,7,9,52,26,31,0.215,0.6809999999999999,0.103,-0.3531,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5157212527651429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863159153262433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827216119453965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744131375265317,0.3395665126811466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25997218724807963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534376386641937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24539382847607225,0.0,0.0,0.23944764182535005,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DiMski_F,2019/03/11,"Interesting thought visualisation for depression and anxiety relief. Hi all so I am someone that now takes mental health very seriously, after becoming anxious and depressed about 6 months ago. I did see a therapist and I was also on medication for a few months, I am doing really good now and I am genuinely really happy. I do feel anxious every now and then but I have found many coping strategies. It also didn't help at the time I had chronic migraines, I genuinely at one point thought i had schizophrenia but the mind is powerful. I was suicidal but I never did anything as I put into perspective the mess I would leave behind, the family I would tear apart and the friends I would scar for life. I perceived that time would eventually help me, I was also too scared to do anything providing faith for the future that it would be a more peaceful place.

​

Onto the thought visualisation, thoughts come and go granted but how do I personally close out these negative thoughts once they come into my brain.

​

let's face it some people are D\*cks and they won't change that but with this trick it could help you. I put a lot of effort in every week to protect my mental wealth if you will. 

​

I consider my brain like a busy motorway, there are going to be good cars and bad cars the bad cars are bangers barely running. The good cars are brand new ferraris or Mercedes... this is the beauty it's your mind create your idea of a nice car. The nice cars will stay on the motorway as long as you want them too if you want to visualise that, they will inevitably turn off on a junction but that's for you to decide when. Just like the nice cars the bangers will also turn off now if you use this theory to visualise negative and positive thoughts it will help heaps. If a person is horrible to me now I visualise them in a terrible car and myself in a range rover. Now this isn't always going to work some days are gonna be worse than others but if you practice this when times are good you are planning for those bad days!",4.470143278205342,6.2711521040609135,5.060175208776816,81.42097183559852,71.10659898477158,8.332601932208942,28.19191092189291,8.933256019334266,2.281733191419681,1635,61,307,32,31,524,193,394,0.162,0.662,0.17600000000000002,0.7949,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,10,5,4,19,25,1,1,24,0,43,8,3,2,2,60,64,36,1,13,14,0,1,2,1,12,5,1,0,2,20,18,0,1,11,0,1,16,6,10,0,1,15,3,43,15,38,32,6,58,1,2,1,0,23,18,0,9,25,221,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320982495413204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280984313443492,0.05933357922013977,0.23178504444034426,0.2599393703127913,0.0,0.0,0.05455006704987843,0.16111442928598868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736004661280455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786164329165396,0.0,0.07875356710258526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592055777788502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543391415648074,0.12285025019188392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056933262213287386,0.0,0.0,0.09197491844688063,0.0,0.1228341462038838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201593429017378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722239526636761,0.0,0.03605523089417958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818502863309619,0.055092022586850996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157714170584788,0.2392374997986661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590819411612372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579657236892369,0.0,0.0,0.1911837432716326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049752441012292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550438073530813,0.0,0.07291678303350349,0.05036661889407626,0.06967451682097273,0.0,0.0,0.06310492218876898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060623113999619116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229464561587318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183483688264987,0.14372244174219653,0.0,0.14400056030774236,0.0,0.11383398397352673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05499676489750746,0.0688692590630161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594019469801283,0.04831982935557928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04943566445720034,0.12452597352959535,0.0745011942430464,0.0,0.06740866667666917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336753051461407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136286227980456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713912795550224,0.0,0.05682287104418441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041864073568036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600434168735827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799886668065495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361438997508402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279354105470156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396612932153635,0.12473998661276628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512423738834308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061586813005277276,0.0,0.05883618209548048,0.08411806015725104,0.0,0.05719860122555275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191273279983341,0.0,0.07266846741016404,0.2532741252464233,0.0,0.2599393703127913,0.0
mentalhealth,DemureSlytherin,2019/03/11,"Dunno what to title this So.......i dont know what to title this or what to say.....
Anxiety has been apart of me since birth. But, for the past 7(?) years or so.....it started as numbness then crying spells most nights then a deep ache in my ""chest"" thats not physical. Now we are anhedonic i cant put how i ""feel"" into words.....I use to draw a lot(from elemntary to highschool though it dropped off in senior year to nothing for years) the pen/pencil feels like a weight in my hand and i dont care about it anymore.......If i dont feel anxious i feel nothing or grey?
Most days are grey.....aside from being anxious and overthinking.....really i dont know what to say or how to say it.
I cant ""say"" its MDD idk i dont think that could happen to me?
Idk.....i may delete this...",-0.11786805555555445,1.9278433937500024,1.9629166666666684,96.8215277777778,86.9375,5.055555555555556,18.26388888888889,6.42735559955562,-0.24715277777777755,573,15,137,6,18,191,93,160,0.104,0.833,0.063,-0.6169,0,0,0,0,0,0,65.0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,14,4,2,3,0,25,25,13,0,1,6,0,6,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,13,4,1,0,7,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,1,11,13,2,20,21,2,21,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,8,13,81,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877469174263235,0.2591618175248126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694660188045837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158042379072907,0.0,0.12599505016812668,0.07397347070968686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.672150991309436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319876428504338,0.08194331977876855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143083257496777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607472830907712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603773198499218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975157624167032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076403039083264,0.0,0.2201198302359275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949628909622328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530745553602205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648633741675093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488289745436704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118685229208361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349657881115611,0.11269439126018603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906592764374128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967645565927608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22159349059951614
mentalhealth,Final-Entry,2019/03/11,"Life advice? Okay, so lately I have been having some issues with myself. This may be long because I’m just going to ramble but if you feel like deciphering anything I have here I would be extremely grateful for any advice. 

I’m a 22 year old disabled veteran. I have no combat experience so that is not an issue. 

I was disabled due to a back injury that keeps me from working really any job. I’m enrolled in college and am having to consider dropping out because I’m not physically able to sit in a classroom due to pain for any real period of time. They don’t offer most of my major coursework online either. I feel as though I’m not fulfilling my life because I want to work, I genuinely do, but I can’t. People tell me that if I really want something I’ll find any way to get it. I understand that! I really do. Problem is that I have had to quit a job after 2 days because I couldn’t handle the pain anymore and that put me in such a bad place mentally. I felt like a disappointment. I felt helpless. 

I live with my parents because I don’t make enough to live on my own. It sucks but I try and make the most of it. 

My next issue is a little harder to explain. I feel lonely. In a relationship sense. Let me clarify, I want to be in a relationship, but as soon as my mind starts thinking “oh let’s see if this girl who seems to be interested in you wants to go out” my mind convinces me I don’t want a relationship. I am unhappy with some aspects of myself but nothing serious and they are all things I’m working on and seeing progress! So no problems there. Yet I still don’t want a relationship but I do in the same breath? I don’t get that! 

A lot of things culminate and make me feel like less of a man. 
1) I can’t provide for myself so a family is out of the question ( can’t work ) 
2) I rely on people to help me survive. I feel like a failure because of that. ( living with parents) 
3) I’m not living a fulfilling life and it destroys me.
4) I have 0 sex drive and no desire for a relationship. (Relationship issue) 

If anyone has anything to help me understand my own mind I would appreciate it so much. ",1.5491231527093632,3.564274813793105,4.074113300492609,84.30043103448278,80.17241379310343,6.901477832512318,24.380131362889987,7.957251820313856,1.4841855500821015,1644,61,336,30,42,576,191,435,0.147,0.7390000000000001,0.114,-0.9752,4,2,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,2,2,7,14,18,2,0,22,1,39,7,1,3,1,73,76,27,0,16,16,2,7,4,0,3,5,0,0,2,18,15,0,1,14,0,0,4,16,11,0,0,5,9,55,7,49,61,14,38,0,3,2,1,21,15,1,12,20,235,73,8,0.06635534455566197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968334946378962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804956388782827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580667158624631,0.046397199751926944,0.0,0.10920958945507676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102316409232355,0.05540394103938402,0.24269761291854175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042793707797710134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856280882767292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490825956778554,0.06255391337264456,0.0,0.1677562798118275,0.142212814226969,0.12742307336205952,0.0,0.06064758279545074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933585762896964,0.0,0.07542254294099611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895317749005469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770309602254764,0.13169488134772753,0.058979679084989474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485171889415734,0.0,0.0,0.13570567104060774,0.1406062266610138,0.12967147844791466,0.06650548741926629,0.23437193971566864,0.05872239185084058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05641294105164728,0.0,0.0,0.1328781232457975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687058036850667,0.0,0.20099994665638307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048778813192210564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705696617199177,0.0,0.0,0.06366974271469679,0.0,0.06962877194076829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121353001374098,0.0,0.1473595150069272,0.0,0.0,0.09200488199568828,0.0,0.06932721204550306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698620650948256,0.0,0.06670544874758479,0.0743331720363463,0.0705770767757543,0.0,0.075526909138023,0.12752679854418478,0.0,0.0,0.42744484354986506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575323711088384,0.060407413551022526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05108358606777277,0.0,0.0,0.046966654405581655,0.0,0.0529914638768445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057997495871849776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816708490934314,0.04251782547988687,0.06519378912145184,0.0,0.038692335025952124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04505092327408285,0.0,0.0,0.13815650765871446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23482860855975185,0.052669783921227516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932299244994454,0.0,0.0,0.09427386588899922,0.0,0.0,0.04273066634841809
mentalhealth,stubborn_unicorn,2019/03/11,"I feel numb and had some scary thoughts yesterday. I’m not sure what to do. I live in Arizona. I recently was involved in an incident at work where a coworker began to verbally abuse me and I reacted in a very unprofessional way (which I recognize and am working on improving my actions - you can’t control what other people do but how you react). 

I’m currently on 100mg twice a day of Zoloft (sertraline) and have been for about a year. My doctor prescribed it for my anxiety disorder. 

Since the incident and HR at my work opening up an investigation I have been...numb. I’ve never felt numb before. 

I went to my SIL baby shower yesterday and just sat in the corner. I didn’t want to eat. My fiancé asked me what was wrong and I just couldn’t describe it. Like there is a black hole in my stomach and I’m just empty, tired, and can’t even react to my kids. I’m faking a smile and excitement when they show me toys or things they’ve discovered. 

What worries me is yesterday I left from the baby shower early and couldn’t stop thinking about just driving off the side of the freeway. I kept thinking how quickly I would go if someone hit me head on. Then I started thinking if my kids and my fiancé would be better off if I was gone. That it would be easier to process for them if it looked like an accident.

I know one of the side effects of my medication is increase in suicidal thoughts. I’ve never had suicidal thoughts before. I’m not sure what to do. My primary care physician prescribed this and I have not seen a mental health professional. I don’t even know where to start looking. ",2.7539404190309895,4.873061781645571,4.305857704059367,83.59968354430382,76.75316455696202,7.649759930161501,27.35224792666957,8.53829466247534,2.1380110432125705,1257,52,245,26,29,419,161,316,0.172,0.7290000000000001,0.099,-0.9773,3,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,0,2,2,6,15,11,0,0,16,0,27,11,2,7,4,57,57,23,2,10,13,0,2,2,0,3,8,0,2,2,14,14,1,3,11,2,0,6,11,4,0,2,17,6,38,7,32,32,2,45,0,0,4,0,8,21,0,6,19,168,52,5,0.0,0.14222046060145482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182555148598412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221542777547737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042798970260526,0.0,0.0,0.1061601682852561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223824896310646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346281471504583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741189026899692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756916854772155,0.12285971138496404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282457467956348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856242544134044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060692711115923566,0.0,0.11525130072241505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682179918313776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318933945217585,0.12759034837041938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319349077435925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130417107627164,0.0,0.0,0.11728493249614726,0.0,0.10599207110754336,0.0,0.2015963719971008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092145563494293,0.12096586849125456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18515497926119928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133802978147946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321634412855597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851892624300993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929322466115016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170427472645534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992112552310018,0.0,0.0,0.10035365672985176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26259505571950914,0.0,0.2262609286705196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974514307807437,0.2307384947397442,0.0,0.28588035959171954,0.0,0.13796123002002295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990404807991766,0.07079906296731105,0.09527726722525348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127256307809068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26215817374507866,0.12190018105598086,0.0,0.25580576691080203,0.13123814999734432,0.0,0.07729785112618501
mentalhealth,johnboio,2019/03/11,"How do I bring up/discuss mental health with someone who might have mental health problems What is the best way to talk to someone about their own mental health without just bringing it up out of nowhere?

I believe one of my friends has been diagnosed with a mental health issue a few years ago, I believe schizophrenic or something along the lines of it, he has never told me and dont think he ever will. 

It started about 3-4 years ago, me and my other friends hadn't seen ""mark"" in at least a year and we were excited to see and talk to him, we have known each other most of our lives now, we are all in our twenties. At first he was the same old mark, chatty and funny, talking about usual stuff and then out of nowhere almost instant he started shouting and screaming at us and hissing, he then started to cry and then ran home. I cant remember what he was shouting but i definitely remembering him referring to someone/something as ""them"" and ""the sky"".This has since happened a few times and we started seeing or hearing from him less and less.

The last few months he has been hanging with us more and more being his usual self with very little problems, sometime he might say he have to go with out saying why or where, even though i know he's doesnt have to. 

Now that we are seeing and talking to him more and more which is great, I'm just afraid for him and others if he is going through something mentally.

What is the best way to bring it up In conversation with just him and me? Without stressing or freaking him out, I imagine he doesnt want to talk about it or hopefully it was just an episode and it has passed.


Apologies if I dont get my message across, I'm just worried for him.
",5.678846153846152,5.741725257396452,5.593899408284024,85.05783136094676,67.13609467455622,7.9434319526627215,32.284615384615385,7.1686216300943375,1.896745088757397,1339,52,271,10,20,418,164,338,0.039,0.8590000000000001,0.102,0.9748,0,0,3,0,0,0,33.0,9,0,2,3,16,13,0,2,11,0,32,6,0,1,3,70,56,32,0,6,15,0,0,0,2,3,6,6,1,1,17,35,0,0,7,0,0,8,9,6,0,2,10,10,34,7,47,42,17,48,0,0,4,0,48,15,0,12,23,202,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676027142018984,0.0,0.07724477056546064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17382118593710186,0.16190776804621504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473489092441443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829568239858829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808154871396688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095037664739231,0.069777730100113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561541738379957,0.0,0.0,0.11919665918284512,0.0,0.04030257229618283,0.0,0.08768111028229078,0.0,0.0,0.08504734629069871,0.0,0.0,0.06821482687727576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279857147972198,0.08694261531798422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737791337714289,0.07661762735506568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051433042419938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0423942382551522,0.06287956132486869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731474900479103,0.06811621264666333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3886959059785836,0.1636671303326589,0.0,0.0,0.061572574185887616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949528020425104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094566681655227,0.0,0.05227219805181805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762551278598718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17476962514747293,0.0,0.0,0.12268997143595242,0.0,0.0,0.18441226358045254,0.0,0.08047405552820648,0.0,0.0,0.06381117318227843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072128758221535,0.17815889131956072,0.07629363337535458,0.0,0.21840093128377644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836384206733823,0.0,0.08830707696340476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31001186632488564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049428327387232435,0.0757898579228537,0.0,0.04498107279601947,0.0,0.0,0.0737107698710583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855803327094647,0.0,0.1699180709458152,0.06364874636612665,0.045499290445723234,0.12246060534326984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960703494279694,0.0,0.0,0.14872080614479805,0.0,0.0,0.07833962076324599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902728504377585
mentalhealth,onetruebipolarbear,2019/03/11,"How to criticize someone who is mentally struggling, without negative effects Hi

My best friend, H, has struggled for a long time with mental illness, and I have been doing the absolute best I can to help them since they came to me 9 months ago. In that time I've helped them out of one very bad relationship and helped them get through another abusive one. This is where the problems started. When I tried to warm them that I thought their partner was becoming abusive, they got angry and accused me of not wanting them to be happy. Eventually they did break up before there was any serious physical harm, but the relationship did place a huge mental strain on H and indirectly on me as it took a long time to help H recover.

Throughout their struggles I have stood by them, day or night, and we have had some fantastic times together, when they are feeling well they are the best friend I've ever had, and I love them to bits. 

However recently old problems have started to reappear. Recently she was saying some pretty awful things about another friend of hers, who I will call W. At the time I assumed this was because W had done something awful to H, however I later learned that W had done absolutely nothing wrong at all (I heard this from H). I pointed out to H that if W had done nothing wrong, they owed W an apology, but H refused to acknowledge that they had done anything wrong. I tried to push the issue but this resulted in tears from H when I told them I was disappointed in them for the they they had acted. This occured on the Sunday. During the week following this I could tell they were having a very poor time with their mental health, but they refused to open up to me at all and ignored all my attempts to help them. Overall they were cold, abrupt and generally not friendly at all. Of course I suspected that this was due to our earlier disagreement, but when I asked them about it they denied it was. Finally, on the following Saturday they admitted to me that they were angry and upset with me. I stayed calm and we talked things over. We were moving towards resolving things, although they were still refusing to admit that they had done anything wrong. When I asked H to put themselves in my shoes, and think about how they would have reacted, they took this as me calling them a shitty person, and ended the conversation saying they ""needed time to think about our friendship""

TL;DR: how can I get through to this person that their actions are not okay, without them storming off or sending them into a negative spiral?",8.491638772663876,7.635353753138077,7.951976987447701,73.52460425383545,61.677824267782434,11.230264993026502,37.908298465829844,10.411451182825502,3.8772214783821486,2026,86,364,39,24,639,220,478,0.161,0.6729999999999999,0.165,0.8081,3,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,5,0,38,6,18,30,0,5,18,3,47,4,1,6,5,72,72,31,0,7,13,0,2,0,5,2,2,3,0,3,26,23,0,4,12,0,2,11,7,16,1,2,36,6,75,14,63,32,10,71,0,1,0,1,81,25,0,7,33,279,101,1,0.0,0.15957935699270853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969493429636606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045795110509763086,0.14122866132397538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108340400666124,0.0,0.1259120223162125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056228053338972274,0.04105127441723694,0.07437434002079081,0.05730338390849776,0.0,0.21201493990666134,0.0,0.07352040988933396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752814708887134,0.07702171364621188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053767390584710084,0.0,0.0,0.04343024773114212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445730484675779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05964533805429529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060915015309934185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034050317981898816,0.0,0.0,0.07377025797969386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20811414497429345,0.0,0.07036720182583672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385983294889524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168718887619056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158177404756247,0.0,0.0,0.2256908044242926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028792228440893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919172965814726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060779104398898914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714610180597528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053752025092018985,0.07157426569246689,0.0,0.04993350276835341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319623805324398,0.0,0.1292336112658752,0.0,0.07066447312528913,0.0,0.09126584484883528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760149333484718,0.07035842764264351,0.0,0.06366029222813661,0.0,0.0,0.06851138481228165,0.0,0.12887507745799734,0.0,0.06769766662470947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298490218173506,0.14460097369550884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710668687092084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055706291760514816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705895866045135,0.05184343474993783,0.0,0.0,0.0953305306275188,0.07177798999693036,0.05377969150713258,0.0,0.0,0.21120255238794872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412723387919752,0.05886018630138681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342178045466175,0.08630052354004067,0.0,0.0534623074715128,0.2748750803253268,0.0,0.0,0.06434850587372834,0.14963966798692913,0.091442076837978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112899069052533,0.03972026562222443,0.0,0.05401797496640925,0.0,0.06054886442782291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298312537570129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047838076680408494,0.29451317343398625,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wisecat27-,2019/03/11,"Working with mental health issues What do you do when your mental health prevents you from working, but you have to work? I’ve got a bit of a mixed bag of things wrong with me. When I manage to work I do well. However, I have problems with mental health keeping me from getting to work or having so much anxiety that I make myself sick. Then I end up losing jobs because of it. I don’t want to get on disability. Even if I did I wouldn’t be able to live off it. How do I get past this so I can get back to my life? ",0.9656756756756764,2.5634126396396404,2.8777387387387385,94.20093243243244,80.26126126126127,5.521081081081082,20.109009009009007,6.2581,-0.06736828828828889,397,10,93,3,10,133,69,111,0.165,0.7879999999999999,0.047,-0.9444,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,4,0,6,8,4,0,0,2,0,12,5,0,2,0,13,20,9,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,18,1,17,16,2,9,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,6,68,24,7,0.136682358206023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456162991154147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510029656196823,0.0,0.0833202969226094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492217347405694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105999989726487,0.0,0.0,0.09027740851305677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856435632254129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093173680284039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358608656533503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426608707755784,0.13563615008562152,0.12148956014851925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654279177847118,0.0,0.0,0.12069302643280455,0.0,0.0,0.15291259683933542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123653545842594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4132310071137885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047726015512799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047877683885215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307865574474821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080568537663787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806187961877021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289385491853848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4975319232650713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494407019422282,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatiswrongwithme24,2019/03/11,"Should I seek help after all this time I’m a 22 year old man and I’ve never been on medication but I look up symptoms for all these mental heath issues and what I’m feeling slots into those things like depression anxiety bipolar and who knows what else. I’ve never had the guts to open up about it, you know the whole (guys don’t get sad stereotype). I’ve been telling myself for years I don’t need medication and all will heal with time as I have ran myself into crippling drug abuse for years that has ended most if not all my friendships due to me pushing them away. None of them expected it and were kind of pissed there was no reasoning behind it. Someone told me once I have the best poker face that’s when I knew I mask all my emotions too well which I was happy about,  i always thought people see emotions as weakness. All I think about before bed is ending it all but all I can think of is the pain I would put on my family who really has no idea of what’s going on in my life. Now I’m left with just me wondering where it all went wrong. I use to believe this would be temporary but after reading a lot of stories on here and seeing people going through similar stuff. is it time I check myself in so they can see what’s really wrong with me ? I’m scared they won’t let me leave if they know how I’m feeling but I need help 

It is so sad how many people are struggling alone in this world ",3.362312459230268,4.34228615753425,4.299980430528379,88.99974885844748,72.6986301369863,7.20574037834312,23.493803000652317,7.447530270364453,0.8011090671885195,1106,28,240,12,21,358,162,292,0.196,0.726,0.079,-0.9912,0,1,1,0,1,0,13.0,0,1,5,1,16,15,1,2,6,0,26,12,3,4,11,54,54,19,0,8,8,0,2,1,0,5,9,0,1,2,23,12,0,0,12,2,1,6,9,10,1,0,11,6,33,5,35,36,14,38,0,3,4,0,14,16,1,5,17,166,56,1,0.0,0.1218153994853575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648221803010682,0.0,0.0,0.08554781407771285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865089305662111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659525156680278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874854333821562,0.11583390880224995,0.10789484341124853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855181871682555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922927096028114,0.0,0.0858862274086062,0.23129930749001046,0.18212181874765068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692199674604754,0.0,0.10396966539370073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371502281133229,0.0,0.11686084958359515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180003691607906,0.0,0.10944527807985137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378254231335101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606222551320285,0.0,0.10730900905262147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706286932930972,0.16950834737366655,0.0,0.0,0.10886305545856076,0.11170553096328063,0.10513222832809896,0.07261915100194936,0.05022874643075519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633618006076955,0.0,0.0,0.08740707965736623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423522368361664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714453268154895,0.10361030706860652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246757981881334,0.15858989395774292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788389156841532,0.10949141687454082,0.0,0.0,0.10939920908669336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21383067163883174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335444959202764,0.0,0.0,0.10283981515062553,0.0,0.13172799043391326,0.10570785187589718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293274045517277,0.0,0.2457835413609972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871122678324737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748141771511907,0.11769513416245705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686102649204304,0.0,0.0,0.08986221329884937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830371959133744,0.13175554719531676,0.0,0.08162123804457883,0.17985149932069416,0.0,0.0,0.09824126499835756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879655159630055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244032871992353,0.09530774732267043,0.0,0.114785918294475,0.0,0.0,0.11149522048793384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460693796805157,0.22481754878358526,0.0,0.19862265755169964
mentalhealth,in_vino_veritas-,2019/03/11,"I still have anxiety and insomnia but I woke up feeling ok. I (28F) have been struggling with clinical depression and anxiety since my teens. I had a handle on things and was leveling out in my early twenties until my divorce. After that my anxiety soared to new heights, my sleep became more irregular. About eight months ago my life tanked again and I have not been the same. 

I quit my job, I started drinking even more than usual, I would sleep for one or two hours then be awake for 15 hours... Oftentimes longer. My mind never stopped no matter what I tried to do, but my body was so fucking tired. 

Anyways, like I said, the last 6-8 months have been terrible and about a month ago I decided enough was enough. I made a call to see a professional. Despite breaking down to the appointment scheduler about how desperately I’d like my life to end, no one could see me for a month.

Ok. Fine. I literally might not make it another month like this, so if I can’t get real help until then, what the fuck do I do? 

I’m a social worker (of sorts). I’ve spent most of my adult life helping people put their lives together. I teach, I encourage, I connect people to resources, I am a reliable helping hand to everyone. Except myself. 

So, I decided I’m going to try and work as hard for myself as I work for my clients. I will try to show myself I’m worth something just like I empower the people I work with. I’ve seen what I can do with others, I’d like to do that for my life.

Obviously, it’s a great concept, but feels sort of impossible in execution. It’s been 2 1/2 weeks since I decided to help myself where I can. I’ve significantly cut back my drinking (from basically all day everyday to three times in the last 2 1/2 wks). I’ve worked out 4-5 days a week. I make sure to get outside once a day even if it’s just playing fetch with my dog.

So... Yesterday I fell asleep at 6pm. I woke up this morning at 1am. Granted, it’s a weird sleeping pattern and I’ve been laying in the dark with a racing mind all morning, but it’s not all so bad. 

Usually this kind of thing would send my thoughts and feelings to a terribly dark place. Today I found myself fantasizing about what good things the future holds for me. I let my thoughts go unchecked and they were positive! I had to take a moment to appreciate that. 

I believe I am just beginning a long journey to real mental health, but I’m genuinely happy in this moment because I found a little bit of sunshine. And I made it for myself! I feel like there may be hope for me after all. 
",2.7066549856642226,4.423408982387478,4.331539616802441,85.17380603467896,75.61448140900195,7.649770172484412,26.169435215946844,8.428315365350997,1.7486117598871345,1974,73,409,37,43,662,251,511,0.092,0.721,0.187,0.9943,2,0,3,0,1,0,70.0,0,0,2,6,21,27,3,1,24,2,34,18,6,5,7,72,67,30,0,6,15,0,6,6,0,5,8,1,0,1,22,17,2,2,11,4,2,6,7,9,0,5,22,11,66,18,62,36,11,68,0,1,4,2,13,18,2,9,49,266,88,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937327318703956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651911505838954,0.16747366565094188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056112144710332386,0.0609298543598625,0.044483990161461866,0.0,0.0,0.08221618581336043,0.0,0.0,0.07966820120962044,0.08105714766550932,0.0,0.0,0.07451413907209471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582634304959224,0.0,0.0,0.14118568109330915,0.0,0.06285199953117808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297256770998495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463289310380743,0.15080233925610476,0.0,0.0963966644484522,0.0,0.0,0.06972934075317727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759044941761254,0.05213230861920012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002343110151016,0.0,0.13492571609715734,0.0762513212597313,0.0,0.08294508424190725,0.06120673969690744,0.0,0.08045358093574954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776816858901785,0.06536995469246755,0.0,0.0,0.0775674562525818,0.0,0.0,0.19565049155847167,0.0,0.0,0.07247918662207599,0.1437284669005616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241497436754929,0.0,0.0,0.07599070815711849,0.0,0.11896634279364975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462038455381667,0.20617346592619787,0.21390710159525853,0.07313865379553178,0.06443696912627128,0.06457928291763759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809864816704534,0.09742080370808603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354016061630499,0.07741338966493143,0.14736493766039518,0.0,0.2912339006883582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562816895526263,0.07047829568752939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771443412216529,0.09889751297534397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177198467908706,0.0,0.07624181337759164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335855899331167,0.0,0.07761633790698573,0.0,0.1661197195614326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941454340107563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630092037441454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072892594855802,0.0,0.2190787095087374,0.07438733006376247,0.0,0.05617859309099252,0.0,0.0,0.05165104429426527,0.0,0.058276760023928224,0.061009143541017836,0.0,0.07628778396346403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687766939681308,0.0,0.054867017319192836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544112409912874,0.0,0.0,0.11586567254405335,0.04255145561393228,0.08387234466248625,0.0691703794502486,0.0,0.0,0.14863272227778654,0.0,0.07128454109311169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074008031430684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170699375870718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212502412948372,0.0,0.0,0.10367661236363547,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TechnologyWanderer,2019/03/11,"Looking for help to learn non-hostile way of communication, and to fix my over-fear and over-shame caused by my background Few days ago I was participating in a public online discussion. I had good intentions. But, my way of communication was hostile and criticizing only, the constructive part was left-out... I didn't realize, see, myself at the time.

There was a different participant, which instead of fighting, explained my hostile way of communication in quite constructive way. That was quite a big luck, that I had received such response, because it's great chance to realize what was I doing very wrong, at lots of discussions, which were either public online, or with real people, that matter to me.

I feel ashamed, because I got publicly caught doing something publicly wrong, which I didn't realize I was doing wrong. I feel also fear, because my contribution to discussion was done under my real nickname, which also my co-workers know. And, posts are easily discoverable.

This hostile behavior, fear, and shame,.. is very tied to my background, and I can't quite deal with it. I was a bit bullied, but that's just minor detail,.. The issue was caused, that I had decided to live (and lived for fear years) with my father (divorced parents), which was located closer to high school, and I didn't go to college instead. My father has got diagnosed few psychical disorders (don't know which, but I heard from others, that is at least paranoia, ego-centrism, schizophrenia,...). My father lived at home, he wasn't working, and his parents were partially taking over his responsibilities, while he was watching TV all the day, even when he had 40 years. And, he was very hostile against everybody, and criticizing everybody, even closest family members, which took care of him. Also, he was hostile against me, maybe because I reminded him of my mother, his ex-wife. Even minor mistake, which I've done, and had no harmful consequences, he was bringing up repeatedly over year or more,.. Same was, even if I had different opinion, than him,.. But, the way he did it, that he stood in my room for hours (with short breaks), after I returned from school, and was calling me names, and repeated all my small mistakes tens or hundred of times, like I was the worst person in the world,... It lasted few days, and was repeated once a few weeks,... Also, when I was happy somebody, because something made me happy, and it wasn't my father,... Then he made me to disgust it, with similar terror like he did after my mistakes, or when I had different opinion,... Now, I can't really say my opinion,... And, each time someone is a bit angry at me, or in disagreement, I fear, that's beginning of the end,...  When I do something, or communicate with somebody, I fear to do a slightest mistake,... And, I don't enjoy anything, because I fear people envying, that I'm happy for a moment, will use that against me...

I really want to move on. But, trying to forget past doesn't improve my wrong behavior. And, it would neither fix my over-fear and over-shame of making mistakes, and especially when they are discovered. I feel guilty of wrong I've done, even if it's not discovered, but I fix that as my as I can,... However, over-shame and over-fear of the beginning of the end is still often present.

So, I'm looking for ways, and currently mainly resources - books, to help to learn and change myself. Or, another ways, which can be beneficial. I want to learn how to speak constructively, non-hostile,.. Also, I very want to get rid of over-shame of doing mistakes, and of the fear, that it's beginning of the end, of long lasting terror using all my free time for days to destroy me...

Honestly, I'm thankful to this guy, as he pointed me in right direction, instead of only putting me down to drown,.. My long-term suffering, which doesn't kill me, but blocks me from living, and enjoying anything in the world... It needs to end. I should start living, and also I should change to become a good person, by actions, and in communication with others.

Thank you for reading the exhausting post. Another thank in advance for yours advice, if I'll get any.",7.381327723378212,7.460389069736844,7.512496940024482,72.68178090575276,63.56578947368421,10.385556915544676,35.963892288861686,10.043921644272036,3.6382417380660943,3223,139,562,63,43,1044,298,760,0.171,0.727,0.102,-0.9954,7,0,3,0,3,1,207.0,0,2,1,5,27,52,9,11,23,0,65,2,0,9,3,108,105,63,2,16,20,7,3,2,0,4,2,3,2,3,37,36,0,1,14,3,1,9,14,35,0,1,47,10,80,18,91,53,19,94,0,1,4,0,49,31,0,16,46,390,117,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542727249257576,0.04120856843014468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22305732907067205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031613251064797475,0.09749287813222453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651088284642656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003093521156645,0.05134204629454093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015051235971068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746917076955185,0.0,0.047397339778327024,0.09551141029831237,0.09835571023101816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199229620846306,0.04792680916808103,0.0,0.04718406818591294,0.0,0.14570935277798389,0.05327896698567575,0.0,0.0,0.1427192663598338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469732473759768,0.0,0.0,0.15352353873039692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382449528032207,0.5231162148959267,0.07051678045203982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048575841247794384,0.0,0.026420048714274662,0.07798340597101744,0.0743609700847203,0.0512528873045959,0.0,0.046030162266000284,0.0,0.14846116156370598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231949204935484,0.049116839925991945,0.0466309843534438,0.0,0.045781050581202416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04852111304603746,0.0,0.0,0.05143178638128665,0.0,0.05109688215852391,0.075787410446183,0.0,0.0,0.0505090555172224,0.0,0.0,0.04542311414938717,0.0,0.20524758988142225,0.08228035771913172,0.07807597124743569,0.0,0.0,0.039522206294900664,0.0,0.08797562978675975,0.031030921280938338,0.0,0.04670317394743938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940910079542424,0.0,0.03447006333185247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04950791608871563,0.0,0.07071202815601918,0.0,0.0,0.10323824716545647,0.05034168224192278,0.04437779922895591,0.0644574783477878,0.0811825868090664,0.0,0.0,0.04394593175263569,0.0,0.08904479138924533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046733009434525616,0.0,0.14833627192750054,0.046500311023375325,0.10582643018155496,0.05956246145220651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039700268084215916,0.0,0.03696890939969679,0.0,0.09409613082821087,0.03704470264742429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03938890343422561,0.10736557902585413,0.0,0.0,0.032904255119393405,0.0,0.03712516185412158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034952988079494526,0.0,0.0,0.12839897004472012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084294786564713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05164957940559188,0.031562117667007415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030094688489055,0.0,0.153428985940678,0.08225900421453014,0.25829857808969314,0.03728965353759717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768724335275693,0.0,0.0,0.033023550150236565,0.2541351792260097,0.0,0.08980972339279067
mentalhealth,kjkova69,2019/03/11,"It's been a while since I had my last anxiety attack. I used to take my meds to calm myself down. I haven't taken them in the last few months as I feel like I don't need them anymore. 

Today has been the worst day I've had in a long time. 

We were practicing our spiel for my job as a field worker. I knew what I should be doing. The first time I presented I got nervous. I said to myself that it's ok, I just learned this today. Second, I let it pass. Third, fourth, several times have past and I had panic attacks like I did before. I couldn't say what I needed to say, I stuttered so much, and I kept repeating everything over and over again. My hands were cold and clammy as I kept on shaking. 

I really wanted to cry at that time. 

I'm new to this job but I fell in love with it immediately. Maybe today was just a bad day for me.

I'm just glad it's over. And I hope it never comes back.",0.2925743114262325,2.063963160621764,2.5560349059176453,94.82940005454051,83.19689119170984,5.721188982819744,16.893646032178893,6.8360192770164,-0.2795533678756481,682,13,164,8,19,232,113,193,0.117,0.772,0.112,0.471,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,2,2,6,15,2,3,7,1,18,2,1,1,1,25,35,11,0,6,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,12,8,0,2,3,0,0,4,4,8,0,3,15,6,33,7,21,16,3,35,0,0,0,1,8,9,0,1,24,111,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140174949592468,0.0,0.13145574881995187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015935728952316,0.0,0.10192413749613656,0.11067520026998116,0.0,0.0,0.11279180255427505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418162221577735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560190704821374,0.1709698657516036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912899358794675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702216310396762,0.09469501868311142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274847702781485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601376793521523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165382683218513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26307437872208805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609478559246184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355431765180294,0.0,0.12951620929209492,0.0,0.0,0.1173041548398909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963315733208665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133166079976119,0.0,0.14723514680027416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580156681065332,0.0,0.097440810485707,0.1965709317999371,0.10223210490509824,0.12801933587162226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552095488312465,0.0,0.0,0.12653567331286922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491606495787117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260870975858456,0.21082099264989404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974578293092222,0.0,0.10964820282369156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966244288314584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091680373326791,0.0,0.3769307679545286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448217980929867,0.0,0.0,0.0781824746095129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fridgemagnet012,2019/03/11,"Strange thoughts I'm not particularly happy, nor sad. I'm doing just fine; recently just got out of a slump actually. Yet I still seem to have rather dark thoughts of just not wanting to go through life. 

I know life itself is meaningless unless I give meaning to it. Yet it still seems purposeless to me.

I don't feel the joy of finishing university, finding a career I'm passionate about, working, finding a partner, having kids, the idea of growing old just seems painful. All of it just seems pointless to me. It's not that I can't experience happiness, just life itself seems painstakingly long. 

Forgive me if this sounds rather morbid, but I have friends and family whom I do love but the pain behind the idea of living is greater than my love for them.",4.422319347319348,6.551522181818186,4.8183391608391615,81.74238053613054,71.93706293706295,8.123310023310024,30.797785547785548,8.841846274778883,2.629005128205128,604,27,112,12,12,191,88,143,0.103,0.72,0.17800000000000002,0.9267,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,13,12,0,0,7,0,9,8,0,0,1,34,28,6,0,4,15,0,1,0,2,0,5,1,0,2,9,2,0,0,15,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,3,2,12,9,18,25,2,11,0,1,0,3,9,1,0,6,8,77,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.12335921289384745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365452701562075,0.11916934181531272,0.0,0.0639173614333883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310753119910843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766507195904824,0.0,0.0,0.12126525650061867,0.07184246608819067,0.0,0.10110268019131373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691344006818892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28540598601715883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947235531974323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26786416041646466,0.0,0.0,0.1116235111843076,0.111870039928562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22818230276306076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376989858108299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326474152649657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26902111346583824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248159277462898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5754005885096892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190448627615595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20071293498851853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456067151430258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202894623252883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yohojones,2019/03/11,"My Psychiatrist put me on Risperidone. Am I officially crazy? Wikipedia say it's an antipsychotic. It also says weight gain is a side effect and I stopped taking citalopram because I gained so much weight. Im also on Cymbalta.

I had a suicide attempt while going through a divorce.  I'm just scared this is more than situational depression and looking for help.",3.3398803418803418,6.51659556923077,4.291282051282053,77.15982905982908,85.61538461538461,6.581196581196581,31.83760683760684,7.793537801064563,2.946863247863248,292,16,47,6,9,94,52,65,0.219,0.659,0.122,-0.7884,0,0,0,0,1,1,7.0,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,1,4,0,4,2,0,1,0,5,8,6,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,5,6,0,5,7,2,7,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,31,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485664440521899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328516725105818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18770782989663587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238579669682486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607780763773912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354081180315709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18301122704883524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020792716675247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190857254453489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.346622673470383,0.21819180696830728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24496902868945364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18220413070957345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383864495581089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386063817711904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5307743107068705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WeinerBop,2019/03/11,"Treating recurring nightmares? I don't even want to go to sleep at this point. Reliving moments from 9/yo up (20 now). Do any of y'all have certain breathing exercises or coping mechanisms to make it even a little easier? Tired of going through this, therapy and medication are a little out of the way at the moment. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks",3.429626373626373,6.251003215384612,5.4591208791208805,72.4623076923077,78.38461538461539,8.637362637362639,29.285714285714285,9.23628265651192,3.3389560439560437,279,13,46,8,7,96,53,65,0.057,0.779,0.16399999999999998,0.8086,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,5,5,2,1,1,6,10,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,12,10,0,14,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,4,31,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23246881107677825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32355430938567725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142555787542635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704030850279097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4768677445289259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879714939909234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23965477267768606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22488822123023294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380673890302535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21902229117730368,0.27205433274928026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734259775915917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403169789193393,0.1888304412010484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SomeUselessWeirdo,2019/03/11,"Low self esteem, fear of others' judgment, social anxiety and beating myself up I don't know, I feel like sh*t mostly. I don't have confidence at all. I just want to live a life where my brain doesn't tell me to ""kill yourself because you're not good enough for anyone"" ""you're not good looking enough"" ""they are going to hate you"" ""you aren't good enough"" ""you're going to fail your grades""
And nobody believes that my mental health is deteriorating. They just play it off as ""stop faking it"" or just outright ignore what I said.
Sigh, just needed to vent a little. When I'm something that shouldn't exist or have nothing else to type.

I just want to know how can I stop thinking so negatively of myself.",3.716857707509885,5.4028012391304365,4.352002635046116,86.20571146245062,72.84057971014492,6.177602108036891,22.69038208168643,6.574015621080383,0.5401362318840581,553,14,108,4,11,176,90,138,0.29100000000000004,0.6679999999999999,0.041,-0.9887,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,2,2,9,13,2,1,2,0,10,3,1,1,1,25,23,8,1,4,9,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,6,2,0,3,4,1,0,2,8,7,1,0,1,3,17,5,14,21,5,11,0,2,1,0,9,6,0,3,4,70,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644390991958906,0.0,0.0,0.10643213148900968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278873289884344,0.0,0.0,0.17149396170864722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992206389614214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271559385918399,0.0,0.0,0.4718357523785464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128397492598238,0.07696437943023918,0.10874228778284728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301436402308282,0.3830116723386181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502806077445417,0.0,0.1617972208369675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16840313028116344,0.0,0.16730655317533408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751381896732534,0.07436446551911545,0.15255922382371911,0.13440846235615925,0.0,0.12782210071741007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533967230906366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286534990326515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605421156264034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479113729589754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587932394189014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551638258009572,0.0,0.11718239416096506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545167869998768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304244953726213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753310148667202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956047259493413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Foreversimsandmore,2019/03/11,"If You Need Love and Support Hello, I'm kind of new to this subreddit.

I came here to write about something I recently discovered about my psyche, but I realized so many people here have much more painful issues then mine.

I can feel the pain you are going through, even though I've never met you.

I want to offer everyone love and support without any judgement, so if you want to talk, I'm here. I really care about people, and it hurts me to see your pain more than my own problems.

I'm not trolling or lying, I genuinely care about people.

If you are feeling suicidal, anxious, lonely, or just down, feel free to contact me. I'm not licensed or anything, but if you need someone to talk to about serious or just random stuff, 

I'm here,

El

​",5.67278911564626,6.027130836734695,6.031700680272111,80.90972789115645,67.16326530612244,8.982312925170069,32.65986394557823,8.841846274778883,2.644504761904762,591,24,113,9,9,190,86,147,0.201,0.619,0.18,-0.4334,0,2,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,7,0,0,15,15,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,1,31,26,17,1,9,15,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,1,2,4,7,0,0,2,4,19,9,18,24,4,7,0,2,1,2,16,1,0,9,4,76,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970924949452546,0.15667936828351506,0.0876853872867077,0.0,0.0,0.1456684320550128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061087703426274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747597975801732,0.2629311415206012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516536893727393,0.0,0.0,0.12321017672085195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195591753327584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328104910489687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803571646518642,0.0,0.0,0.13458257046399022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427387208955693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327514552899923,0.0,0.0,0.1307275545648832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478764479244338,0.19121860303804786,0.09944847952131597,0.12453356324395302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.411612041587156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681776831904535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338065082406338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260392911632647,0.0,0.12731525834624194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027505551992216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925264362559574,0.0992663103925104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760842380829636,0.14104227239970846,0.29264506106097743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072783497025868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668544643690605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210736846996506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242960617506914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667936828351506,0.0
mentalhealth,jxcksxn1,2019/03/11,"Why am I obsessed with a certain time period? This has been happening to me for the most part of 4 years, but, and this may sound silly, I can't stop obsessing with the late 90s and early 2000s. In my head it seems like this carefree place with nothing but party hits and fun. I know this isn't the case, as it was just like any other year, but this obsession is getting to me and it's starting to deteriorate my mental health. I can't think of any reason why I'd be obsessing over this but I need to stop.
Can anyone explain what's happening to me?

Thank you in advance,

Jackson.",3.1899346405228783,4.443285789915969,4.539775910364148,86.06486461251171,73.45378151260505,7.641830065359478,25.827264239028946,8.167268648758528,1.4708816059757233,455,15,96,7,9,151,77,119,0.06,0.7020000000000001,0.238,0.9696,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,1,10,0,4,4,0,11,2,1,1,1,23,22,9,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,11,7,0,2,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,1,11,6,15,17,2,14,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,11,63,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26223649904964536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481809648439474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073591071907807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410046713409136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787995005257408,0.20494932333435106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105964010646507,0.0,0.2174994679388208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18839565734717656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943083721494288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296708541043013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18500757723185832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879577491623136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014466996395952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982420591400991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755281041105559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364727823889405,0.0,0.0,0.3223976469003704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775146774005868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354565207603893,0.0,0.0,0.11242977991400643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479642939853473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483282236602761
mentalhealth,nunyadoomboom,2019/03/11,"Waking up feeling angry. Hi reddit,

I'm feeling a bit stuck... and not sure what I can do about it.
Basically I love sleep, I always have and I love going to sleep. I have a job, but once I get home in the afternoon and after doing everything that needs doing i have a lengthy nap and I can still sleep at night just fine. (Asleep by 8-9pm) i generally sleep 9-12 hours a night even after a nap. However, the last few months I have been dreading going to sleep lately because I have been waking up super angry, every morning for no particular reason. I just feel angry that I'm now awake and have to start the day. I just don't want to start the day. The feeling lasts until I get home and back into bed.

I'm not sure how to tackle this because I can't just not sleep because of it. I'm not sure what to do because it's becoming a problem. Lately it's getting to the point where I consider how much I need my job and whether I can just stop going to work so I can stay in bed. Obviously that's not an option, I have bills to pay.

I don't know. I should add that I have been seeing my psychologist for over 3 years now regularly. Actually I had an appointment today but I bailed so I can stay in bed, which made me feel worse.",3.079689922480622,3.7855813100775215,4.955813953488374,85.06108527131786,73.10852713178295,7.748837209302327,24.41085271317829,7.984000788550335,1.1546341085271314,950,26,209,13,18,327,125,258,0.154,0.777,0.068,-0.9692,3,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,16,9,0,1,14,0,25,11,9,4,4,44,51,15,0,5,13,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,12,9,0,1,7,2,2,3,9,2,0,0,6,6,29,7,25,44,3,38,0,0,1,2,3,10,0,1,23,138,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0914780528013054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800032763036563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208132567338453,0.0,0.2285754713980508,0.10352997605741207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234129504135578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091085464464495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061915289460120974,0.0,0.0789811455618682,0.0,0.08424869706923759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369922613382384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692798722421185,0.0,0.15982613909461674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18806047059168,0.0,0.09231636470747796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860476863952753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051517804297594436,0.15282345280774018,0.2114886923539157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692104890329095,0.08870034896162124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482346558313659,0.0,0.0689106914911595,0.13901607314095749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759398472844773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983149751984237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861589263641792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969782911615626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638173889436892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469973355054173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5628544012967049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270124549203993,0.1998316511784584,0.07486197756581105,0.07837198109849829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26505038983526874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885585596208483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552910875943692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824483234950703,0.0,0.09553046252880323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036636755274174
mentalhealth,watermelonapple,2019/03/11,"SO doesn’t understand mental health and when we argue he pushes me to the edge. Help? My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years and I’ve been having mental health issues. When I get upset over what he calls “something small” or “no need to be mad about” he ends up getting mad at me and then I start to get high blood pressure because if I’m upset over something, he should at least ask why and tell me its okay. But he argues with me and my mind gets frustrated and I start to feel like fainting. All he does is talk down on me and when I tell him I don’t feel good, i’m crying and i’m in pain. He continues and doesn’t acknowledge it. I don’t think I can take another argument, I feel like he’ll be the death of me. What do I do? How can I help heal after these arguments? ",0.6970693277310929,2.659701375000001,2.3819747899159687,95.58655462184878,82.86904761904762,5.8577030812324935,18.810924369747895,7.048011613610866,0.07340084033613481,613,15,143,8,17,201,97,168,0.221,0.695,0.083,-0.9757,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,8,13,5,3,2,1,16,6,1,1,1,26,34,19,1,3,3,0,3,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,5,12,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,9,0,0,2,3,21,4,18,28,2,21,0,0,0,0,19,10,0,2,12,84,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960404475441187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229454458097113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927849825650376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554220534074924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719405895622172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331988185963986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481168928411685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23088380605484124,0.217475785276933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180909575766683,0.0,0.0,0.1276653972592669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235813626379779,0.0,0.0,0.20404450435092497,0.16081679950224345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886628944589432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872291971422036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067810462077345,0.0,0.15368735045898896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286078811301295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196073907826258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23435531576894775,0.0,0.0,0.21546813704950665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144419650053628,0.12233955030799955,0.2660741444585159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752915939503796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845457646090788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734463545099798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801738264630888
mentalhealth,irrepairable,2019/03/11,"Insane drops in cognitive function with extreme depression for a few seconds, then fade like nothing happened Hi, I’m an engineer and in college. 

I noticed that sometimes (rare, very rare) I get a huge slap of extreme depression for 2-5 minutes with no logical reason or any prior notice, no triggers either. They immediately make me feel worthless and like life has no meaning. As a scientist it interests me extremely. They fade after a few minutes with no treatment and return every few weeks or months even, for a couple of minutes at a time. I take Vyvanse for ADHD but I always had these, even before meds,
They do feel like crashes in dopamine that I’ve had in the evening while taking Concerta. 
I’ve learned to deal with them as what they are, crashes in dopamine levels. I do wonder how they occur. I realize people with ADHD are more susceptible to dopamine related disorders, but I’m intrigued. They are also acpannied by complete lack of interest in anything and an inability to think clearly in logical situations or math.

Anyone else experience this?",5.9442187500000045,8.071401234375,6.6717916666666675,70.02737500000002,67.90625,9.286666666666667,37.8,9.725611199111238,4.326253749999999,855,48,129,20,15,281,120,192,0.108,0.7959999999999999,0.096,-0.1326,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,7,0,5,8,0,0,9,0,8,1,0,4,1,30,20,15,0,1,6,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,10,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,2,15,5,27,18,6,21,0,3,0,0,9,10,0,4,13,92,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34476586519410435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470620608296254,0.11935075091140028,0.0,0.0,0.09754181420621733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029421355588752,0.1469677586373405,0.11803610935273495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205399144955895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15039055775378396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870988198598296,0.0,0.0,0.1478768477746166,0.24708348593974674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439078309800734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198228831990103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842155865670499,0.0,0.1208515312310284,0.0,0.0,0.14030852899397436,0.0,0.0,0.14505172073096834,0.10247114363743487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493970917751007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684052149846065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131352035199473,0.21022764877673492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574505171989446,0.0,0.0,0.15624451938293396,0.15932573947462014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448973452342415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763129686745815,0.3266070648818533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944088579048953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747672555558886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122876064678435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186247605307714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156929612974005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190838868319046,0.0,0.0,0.0836390414252882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835022606342163,0.0,0.0,0.11505619746995227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555088615331233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RichDjNee,2019/03/11,"My head's in the clouds. Hi, I wanna go straight to the point with this post.
Since I was a little kid, my head has always been in the clouds. At school and in my everyday life.
Sometimes I lose myself in the mid of a sentence because meanwhile I start thinking about something else.

Professors (and teachers) always saw that I wasn't paying attention in class, always looking out of the window, they called me the 'dreamer' when I was a kid and now that I'm in my 20's people think that I'm on drugs.
For real, people around me started thinking that I'm on drugs because unable to pay attention. 

I either can't pay attention for one second to things I'm doing without checking my phone, and if I don't have it with me, I search for something else. The bad thing is that I mad want to pay attention, especially to things that matter to me, I just can't. 

I've been trying to self medicate with caffeine, theanine, ashwagandha, acetyl tyrosine and pseudoephedrine (yes, the one for the colds). 
I've been meditating, exercise daily and following an healthy diet. None of them really worked on the issue. 

Now, I'm convinced I have ADD. I really want to put my life together and do things that matter to me since I know I have the potential to achieve anything that I want. 

Have I just been lazy my whole life, or do I really have potentially some mental issue? 

Thanks for anybody who'll take the time to answer me, I truly appreciate it. 

",5.852226438962681,6.2108371111111165,6.4593337550073775,77.98351043643268,66.77777777777777,9.432089394897744,31.107105207674465,9.325443323948027,2.6656778831962886,1130,41,213,20,17,370,140,279,0.061,0.851,0.08800000000000001,0.4767,0,0,4,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,2,3,7,5,1,0,16,1,21,10,2,0,0,36,41,10,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,3,16,13,1,0,9,1,5,3,6,3,0,3,8,3,35,2,37,32,4,27,0,1,2,0,9,16,0,3,7,145,51,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820016976882698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092965155146502,0.1005677603479436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943257089446837,0.1377316244311369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535558501200313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620199957760116,0.0,0.18874483389500293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420377954939252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318807980326636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358238532554855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062085672007006064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23938336809666905,0.0,0.11322619170854167,0.0,0.0,0.0948668282236491,0.12638517346035893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380596631410317,0.11384776574500463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310356675348571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566391407868654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679370597883976,0.0,0.1081945801501848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356662767214501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858524348981826,0.2171155238501031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433225020666107,0.0,0.0,0.11785294469798895,0.0,0.0,0.18690084934339984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394053133708284,0.11173078448671912,0.0,0.1599223048200578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493981088066369,0.0,0.0,0.10400812474235677,0.0,0.0,0.3002105133188329,0.2171609432075838,0.0,0.0,0.06587404909433728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669960289322518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998989112267895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612760937154113,0.0,0.10889960016914936,0.0,0.08224392198373355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CSvinylC,2019/03/11,"Trouble Opening Up Hi, all.   


I suppose the appropriate thing to do before anything is just lay a bit of background on you as to how I am. I am a 21 year old male, and ever since around 13 I have just been unrelentingly sad, anxious and had no hope for myself.   
When I was younger, my social anxiety was really bad, and I would often have panic attacks when doing things as menial as answering the phone. With time I have curbed that a lot, and I am super proud of myself for it. I am a lot more confident in my ability to socialise with people, and I control my thoughts and mental a lot better now.  


Likewise, I thought I had gained a better grasp on my depression over the past 2 years -- however, unlike my anxiety, it's not something I can make better, just something I can contain. It still seeps out regularly, and is super troubling and debilitating. Of late it has probably been as bad as it ever has, due to personal reasons. It has gotten to the point where I think I should seek outside help, as I have spent 8 years of my life trying to fix it by myself to no avail.   


I have briefly mentioned some things to friends before, and my best friend (19F) is the only person who is properly clued in (relatively), but neither party have ever really done much for me. That's not for lack of trying, or any fault of their own, I just haven't really ever indicated the extent to which it plays on my mind, so they probably just assume I manage, and/or want time to myself.  


My thoughts about ending my life have become super prevalent recently, and not but a week ago, I failed to hang myself, maybe through lack of willpower more than anything. If I was a braver person, I don't think I'd be alive now, but at current rate, all I do is hope that something bad happens by pure chance. It was upon realising this that I knew I needed some sort of intervention in my life.  


I feel as though with direction and sustained guidance I will get on top of everything. My mother (single) is really supportive of me and understanding in that sense, and I know she cares about me dearly, but I don't know if she would even believe me if I told her. I have spent so much time hiding, I don't want to risk losing the few things I do have left in my life by making people think that I am just using excuses for my apathy. I also think my hiding has become a source of comfort.  


Moreover, I am starting university in August(ish), so I keep convincing myself that if I push on a little bit, that I can sail my way to August and that my life will be monumentally better — meaning I won't have to tell anyone and can ultimately save myself from looking stupid. However, having nearly reached my 10 year anniversary of being utterly lost in life, I know myself better than that. Annoyingly, it still doesn't keep me from having slight hope though.   


I know at this point that talking to my mum candidly is a good foundation moving forward, but I just need some kind of help in wiring myself to do it. Sorry if this post seems attention-seeky, I just need some alternate input from people I know won't judge me.",7.883197388016952,6.4105054684385445,8.265330507503723,72.77762458471763,63.25249169435216,11.094145950280677,34.04765723450567,10.004066432519934,3.181622110207355,2420,80,458,42,29,804,277,602,0.098,0.736,0.166,0.9915,4,0,3,0,0,1,73.0,0,1,2,16,32,40,3,2,18,0,62,6,0,6,7,104,103,42,0,18,22,2,1,0,2,7,6,0,0,4,31,21,0,5,21,1,2,4,13,16,0,0,18,2,86,24,76,75,23,62,0,5,1,0,25,29,0,20,29,352,117,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058091395703890214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052407027880066265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456495207312717,0.0,0.1002657271387074,0.07403407675982643,0.0,0.04582246964241122,0.0,0.107856791449092,0.05833861051087889,0.0,0.07455369122580198,0.0,0.0,0.16415292861990086,0.0,0.1447529599383929,0.11152817534814244,0.07383368860805703,0.06877324915661016,0.2897947873450409,0.1430909765974395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681565813289439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350126870426676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05644381232076851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706341013141655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058043131727096874,0.0,0.0,0.04328418568272836,0.23711481052041844,0.0,0.0,0.058897184835444816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033135650772467384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126186827895052,0.0,0.034238491205517814,0.0,0.0,0.05496629787417714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057950959878179664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785129915011225,0.0,0.0,0.1952683273741697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164981752709696,0.0,0.06824294058003685,0.1800771850238865,0.0,0.0739245177521166,0.0,0.07120221940382566,0.0,0.27772902619799644,0.0,0.06568167248491166,0.0,0.0,0.05503154214625089,0.07331510002155987,0.07153743596395741,0.1671424326855555,0.0,0.0,0.08748809268844228,0.0,0.06583709800565844,0.07138507290082183,0.0,0.0,0.06604224296486895,0.0,0.06617004189213574,0.0,0.0,0.06965162185980622,0.09634916325311578,0.14577653375728547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876626834277258,0.0,0.0,0.04984109573715558,0.0,0.07688931258177799,0.0,0.0,0.06255903550367573,0.1362978024991463,0.17166368382531808,0.0,0.0,0.12390047061916587,0.0,0.06276287200720948,0.0,0.14131215558841026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679294694831838,0.0673792389425091,0.06470631609148599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05965913650862841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420989697032669,0.0,0.0,0.06680303774710113,0.0,0.15135241464990365,0.0,0.07335926421050222,0.04638487036313012,0.0,0.10467009896228882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743665137611637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05267325609276843,0.057279070895077736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414988806734955,0.1679645993922329,0.12877244483994607,0.15607857325808744,0.11463913921100775,0.0,0.0,0.06261996200726891,0.0,0.08898573944663646,0.0,0.0,0.06822256959408496,0.0,0.0565998074987104,0.0,0.0,0.07730658203822598,0.05201735423057663,0.05256693211717865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310607926488072,0.0,0.0,0.16880541688027806
mentalhealth,GloriousEyebags1234,2019/03/11,"How do you tell your psych you think she's not taking you seriously? She diagnosed me of burn out, but I've resigned and taken rest and all that, but I'm still very suicidal.

Also, do psych really do not follow up their meetings with the patient?
I mean, I get that it's out responsibility to keep going with the meetings and all that, but, it's not always easy, you know? Do psych not really check on their absentee patients? I mean, you get paid by sessions, is that it? Does your accountability stop when I step outside the clinic?",5.0197252747252765,5.953296576923076,6.0889010989011005,77.87038461538461,68.80769230769229,9.019780219780221,27.357142857142854,9.23628265651192,2.1405565934065938,420,13,82,8,7,140,64,104,0.172,0.8170000000000001,0.012,-0.961,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,7,2,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,1,2,23,18,9,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,7,0,2,4,0,3,3,4,2,0,0,2,0,16,0,9,16,3,10,0,1,0,0,14,4,0,0,3,57,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19408989187402775,0.20194874480220812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463389317141617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123914581250249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25360511079608283,0.0,0.13793398548143032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157260119158988,0.0,0.0,0.13338348990235174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5287504993585063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109641387128857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19382331923617516,0.20291098372697847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654782237847261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824828183486552,0.0,0.212133546327267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551459533876194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002557957788484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sextional,2019/03/11,"Expiration date Does anyone else feel like there's a big expiration date on their life? Like, there's an inevitable end (and not the far off future one) that you can feel?

I've (21F) always felt like there was a big looming death date for me and I've just been narrowing it down as I've gotten older. It's not like a suicide date, it's literally a feeling of doom and an emptiness after the date. When I was younger I could feel it somewhere around 25 and now I have certaint certainty about not making it past 23. I just feel like I know that death will come for me at that time. It's made it hard for me to get close to people when it just felt like I would just hurt people when I die.",3.432500000000001,4.193965027777779,4.2023888888888905,90.5815,72.33333333333333,7.14888888888889,23.427777777777766,7.1686216300943375,0.5823327777777778,540,13,123,5,10,173,80,144,0.156,0.701,0.14300000000000002,-0.5954,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,1,1,0,13,8,0,0,8,0,8,1,0,2,0,26,21,8,4,2,7,0,8,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,8,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,7,8,12,6,14,11,0,26,1,2,0,0,2,10,0,0,21,72,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473530138927695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322233825813532,0.16591219664137982,0.0,0.14414836093118014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948480525622134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928463686509314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680534956688477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141702426281534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352682924729608,0.0,0.14341826499644456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4093729440426475,0.23135975796152103,0.310948470839366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459958755979746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505378043084385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334500050545926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899022734678785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437303573873675,0.4746528262619729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532181801506371,0.10808678036377292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972516502244932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545765720218643,0.2245180296744742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771206279541772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442028113180484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502749723751432,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,infinistar,2019/03/11,"Just Another Message For The Void I’m not exactly sure why I’m writing this right now, but I feel the need to get my thoughts out and express how I’m feeling as this is probably the worst I’ve felt thus far. Also, if you’re not in a place to be reading depressive thoughts right now maybe stop reading. The last thing I want is to be pass on negative thoughts.

Cold. Alone. Hopeless. These along with many other negative words float around in my head and knock on the doors I wish to keep closed. It’s hard to act like I’m a normal and healthy person. It drains me immensely to interact with people whom I know nothing about and will never know me and what goes on in my head, what I’ve experienced. Every day the past haunts me and the future scares me. I live alone and I suffer alone, even though I know many people struggle with what I do. But we all have our own version of depression, anxiety or whatever else. We all have unknowables about ourselves.

I wish I could get a real glimpse into people’s feelings sometimes in order to have real conversation but it pains me knowing the burdens we all walk with in life. I know these burdens too well. They creep in and pollute my mind when I’m at my lowest. Real conversation is so rare, but I accept the reason for that. Having conversations like that is extremely emotionally draining because of the vulnerability you bring unto yourself.

I’m not really the type of person to talk about my feelings, even with close friends. I have a fear, irrational or not, that they will see me differently and refuse to be honest with me. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about my life with anyone and it’s hard to pinpoint why. I guess it’s just my nature, or how I was raised. It’s so hard to overcome that though and to expose yourself to people. I’m the type of person where I have a need to hear honest thoughts, as I can immediately tell when someone says or does something disingenuous. I’m oftentimes surrounded by people who supposedly love me, but I’m still stuck in my own mind coming to conclusions about their intentions that could very well be delusional. 

Delusional. This word shakes me to my core. How can you truly know of the things that you think are correct? I am fairly confident in my perceptions of physical reality but the realm of emotions escapes my grasp much of the time. Maybe some sort of undiagnosed disorder. I come off as cold and unfeeling because I internalize everything, but within my mind a gust of emotions blows. Before a couple weeks ago, I had never lashed out, spoken my mind to anyone other than my family. Doing so, even just for a minute of speaking the slightest bit of truth to my closest friend, brought me to tears. 

When I’m inebriated and enjoying myself and I hear something that, for lack of a better word, triggers me, I completely shut down. I don’t speak a word and retreat into the dark corner in my mind I know all too well. I don’t speak my mind, I’m just not that kind of person right now. Besides, sometimes the settings which house whatever triggered you are the worst settings for emotionally charged conversation. At least that’s what I tell myself. 

I am currently in that dark corner and it’s the darkest it’s ever been. It’s at times like these I wish I had someone to talk to. Maybe a therapist is in order. But money won’t allow it at this time. For now I wait to go to sleep again and dream whatever my mind decides worth dreaming. Hopefully tomorrow will be brighter.

Thank you for reading, 

Much love

infinistar11",3.78160105838596,5.9183897187039785,4.608467087691269,82.52002496193306,73.75699558173784,7.7256284166645885,27.414218317066478,8.543581382742746,2.0894084071790524,2805,108,526,53,59,904,295,679,0.152,0.706,0.142,-0.7027,3,3,2,0,0,1,67.0,4,5,3,2,39,33,0,4,31,0,37,8,3,9,12,137,90,45,0,12,22,0,8,3,2,4,3,6,1,4,38,37,0,4,24,5,2,9,13,13,3,0,11,18,76,20,89,68,15,77,0,4,1,2,42,39,0,10,28,356,114,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04950707040831782,0.0,0.0,0.17352921977363353,0.0,0.04466269724993658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058562902884911526,0.04272459245341178,0.0,0.0,0.07810231458143263,0.0,0.0,0.049717753603432516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809047892859624,0.0,0.047523675086205135,0.0,0.0,0.049394202935611885,0.06097301474140687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621852283790384,0.05855697071306081,0.0,0.0,0.08918230743444534,0.061796232756459124,0.0,0.03601820418465936,0.0,0.09620590990520934,0.0,0.0,0.05835067367407973,0.06400818252916507,0.0,0.04887413404747195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0466549573792136,0.2512919628300433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066388759625033,0.1010378514498592,0.04705547795433871,0.0,0.05019378586396763,0.0,0.052649787558860836,0.06284603486405177,0.11295641813667888,0.0,0.053624125021915874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629812353136647,0.0,0.05835795040719356,0.0,0.03174046713382007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06152434483675087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009011690705568,0.0,0.11463507133964927,0.0,0.12589253102038808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547099654886349,0.0,0.0644426402155722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964145976952495,0.0,0.058158493581180824,0.214853357848262,0.04552466644629434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889608141225972,0.08185549981568017,0.0,0.049315990681025636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081242022621542,0.0,0.0,0.11324493030147055,0.1683245069403891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3947433898303031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211138243722865,0.08282315631721172,0.0861489084643516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054720495543819365,0.053588948270693854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942763573694833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053314514788797264,0.1935945023372988,0.1950619589175432,0.05835067367407973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021503487303965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16759336173582556,0.19070632867071344,0.035778517492129625,0.05742242350982596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308509434920955,0.0,0.04441363702483479,0.05591493262376693,0.0,0.04450469337050913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05588967401292176,0.0,0.09464192957492616,0.0859911014101056,0.1104728512161305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044601355296965337,0.04669254924809178,0.0,0.05838585666010816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263734227097967,0.0,0.0,0.13466875256254582,0.0976295701408235,0.05141856894102845,0.0,0.06484538866107267,0.07420764009611819,0.07157200431714976,0.10974338653935126,0.17735255102505015,0.09769859835005204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608155475309776,0.032941387907956164,0.0,0.04479897199819128,0.0,0.15064579246321735,0.0,0.100790685600191,0.0,0.19267195524418898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Deadass6969,2019/03/11,"Manic episodes feel like low dose of amphetamine? Technically I'm not officially diagnosed with bipolar, but I have strong reasons to believe so, and my mother also thinks it's very likely. Just for some background, Ive been diagnosed with aspergers, major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder, and a while after seeing that doctor she asked me to fill in a bipolar test because she also thought it was likely based on what I had been telling her. I scored 36/45.

Anyway I never thought that it was even likely for me to be bipolar but after taking the test and seeing that I scored pretty high, I started doing some research, and things started to make a lot more sense. I definitely recognized several symptoms and it would make sense as to why some days I'm literally full of energy and on top of the world, and other days I could do a bunch of nice things but still feel shitty for no reason whatsoever.

Anyway, the most prominent symptom I have, and also the thing that suggested to my mother that I probably was bipolar, are the manic episodes. I will literally chat on and on to my mum and be super motivated to do things that I've been putting off for ages or telling her about personal issues that she knows I wouldn't normally tell her.

Now, I've taken my fair share of drugs, especially stimulants, and now that I've noticed these manic episodes it just clicked in my brain that it almost feels exactly like I've taken a small dose of amphetamine or something. Maybe a bit less euphoria, but feeling good and super energetic etc. It also effects me in the same way that I can barely sleep for days, but still have energy the next day.

I'm 100% it isn't a side effect of drug use, because not counting this past weekend, I hadn't taken any drugs other than alcohol and a bit of weed for over 6 months. And also my prescription medication for my anxiety and depression, but I'm pretty sure that SSRIs don't give you that much energy, at least not this much.

Sorry for rambling but does anyone else know what I mean or feel the same? Again, I'm not diagnosed yet and I apologize if I got something wrong and I dont mean to offend anyone if this sounds like something completely different to you. But as far as I know and based on the circumstances, I don't know what else it would be. ",8.711705451411332,7.283976115384616,8.77015513897867,69.67302413273003,61.60180995475113,12.219952596423186,37.110967463908636,11.20814326018867,4.102668692092221,1841,71,333,42,21,605,209,442,0.069,0.7509999999999999,0.18,0.9946,1,0,7,0,0,0,40.0,0,2,0,7,18,18,1,0,17,0,29,19,2,9,3,80,62,42,0,7,19,3,5,6,0,4,17,1,0,1,34,21,1,0,19,2,0,2,12,5,0,0,14,9,39,13,46,40,18,43,0,3,3,0,21,19,0,11,27,235,73,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008421497808464,0.07503797349356266,0.0,0.0,0.2996330338129857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095931721966797,0.0,0.1146522717479392,0.0,0.0,0.10479453730656213,0.07678119065563226,0.0,0.0,0.07005541219967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913610598167957,0.0,0.0,0.08442765411487951,0.0,0.0,0.16362226656803694,0.0,0.0,0.08365379803565744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856938280044193,0.0,0.0,0.05983061253440799,0.0,0.0,0.19331109775033367,0.0,0.129085211734173,0.2281765858378778,0.0,0.07829258174962038,0.1717671981406928,0.07670057401578652,0.06557734288941698,0.0,0.0878248950180643,0.0,0.2607072769905959,0.0,0.1251994821872892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835738872299645,0.049494781127145664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945046055738,0.053534574448681545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188581686868663,0.0,0.06285309148688605,0.05993347940618993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917441396602883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821412566826218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473232832112664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196608199168748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370824195445346,0.0,0.0,0.1000412490276734,0.0,0.07528367934935587,0.1632554016318878,0.0,0.07549053268539302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05981351431131024,0.0,0.11017374294509304,0.0,0.057795566305363526,0.0,0.07969570456148321,0.0,0.07342175507130995,0.0,0.08531558060993176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153526677100673,0.0,0.06543156832299288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524745045025491,0.080794106451729,0.0,0.0,0.07533177298096984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409418619622395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942920705301788,0.0,0.0,0.08465679479422601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499051161015276,0.0,0.0,0.17306909020009964,0.0,0.08388515732654968,0.10608072994891732,0.0,0.11968860120573735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062666398424268,0.15577521083974574,0.0563428419199076,0.0,0.19649313247328004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19913764016241653,0.048016215119327896,0.0,0.11898225183474245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647209838836147,0.0,0.06183037256447605,0.0,0.05948102111305121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676184394719218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646532774349446,0.0819311825178039,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway54729,2019/03/11,"20 year old alcoholic I come from a painkiller, compressed-air huffing, alcoholic household. I work my life away at two retail jobs. I spend every drinking about a pint of liquor to a whole pint. I’m 5’1” and weigh 110. I don’t take care of myself so this really hits me hard.

I don’t have insurance or the money to pay for help but I know I need it. I’ve been drinking every night since New Years. I’m so tired. I’m so dehydrated and depressed. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m on a spiral downward. All I can think is that I’m becoming my parents. 

Where do I start? Any advice? I don’t have hobbies anymore. Id rather drink and listen to music. I turn 21 in a month, and here, that’s the legal drinking age. I don’t have self control as it is. Easy access. But what about when I turn 21? I can see what I’m becoming. It’s clear what path I’m on. I just don’t know how to get off. 

Thanks for reading. I’m just a little lost. I trust strangers on reddit more than my own family at this point ",-1.0002015503875974,1.1014612046511658,1.4198837209302333,97.64734496124031,95.09302325581396,4.355038759689924,17.399224806201552,6.079149491110277,-0.3672449612403104,769,22,180,8,30,259,122,215,0.076,0.816,0.108,0.7486,2,0,6,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,12,5,0,0,8,0,16,10,0,2,2,20,41,13,0,2,6,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,11,5,8,1,4,6,4,1,6,2,0,1,2,3,22,3,22,38,4,22,0,2,1,0,4,12,0,1,9,101,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739958391104767,0.0,0.25678661006109466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169943554698919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382935325079171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287564471554465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26537075819843425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224909104850075,0.0,0.0,0.10349011872637254,0.0,0.0,0.13474741665316906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347655258688564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4707665159892179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024465500649878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325746030344072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276828034912486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762199460308347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052742366755357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922058103345815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807768688543628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485855520932865,0.0,0.12041201253833067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114718779779644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589473768360757,0.0,0.0,0.08908241394436152,0.0,0.11603212506114548,0.0,0.11274341125440605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606689891775033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334014414238858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357129361411493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017268187894745,0.0,0.07696486942232414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573616108312173,0.0,0.1253323991606342,0.0,0.0,0.09938119031899026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503583085581623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903304563938128,0.0,0.0,0.11060892741851476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698097004403814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380834523609385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613560122113323,0.11735948927757407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413220962310235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746347479917697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547326613721316
mentalhealth,anon-1205,2019/03/11,"(Advice) depression help? I’ve struggled with depression for awhile but didn’t want to admit it and as a result I’ve just been silent about how I feel, in 2018 I started to recognize it and have started to seek help. I go to therapy every two weeks and it’s helped a little bit. Recently I’ve been feeling really down and as a result have grown really angry and anti-social. How I’m feeling and what I’m putting off has begun to effect my family and I feel like it’s the end of the world, what can I do to make it till the end of the week when I see my therapist again and can seek help from her?",1.7363493199713669,3.350298669291341,3.8717823908375095,87.86754473872585,78.05511811023622,7.452827487473158,20.99427344309234,8.296473431620573,1.0258724409448825,469,12,102,9,11,161,74,127,0.08800000000000001,0.758,0.154,0.7522,0,0,0,1,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,7,0,9,0,0,6,0,23,22,15,0,1,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,6,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,3,5,9,1,18,19,1,19,0,2,1,0,6,5,0,0,12,65,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948405710814967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781798470420657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811400155323438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891060380997261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750899311694273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385709782961307,0.0,0.33008958785082154,0.11659516136529945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275433735617973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375770273495739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973472909049077,0.16357635729544714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089419846304107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640681805562872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20910925271373365,0.0,0.16114728933987635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005490200939968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310376042682335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061946261373273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664150489579334,0.1894959841171638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594295896679628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626375674035682,0.0,0.26182972950027783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,candypaintfence,2019/03/11,"Intrusive thoughts gettin wicked hi everyone! 

I have had intrusive thoughts about harming others my whole life, and I have successfully learned to distance myself from them encouraging me to do terrible fucking things, but now it seems the thoughts are coming after me. 

I have very specific, repeating intrusive thoughts, and they're all worded as if someone else is threatening me, and I'm fine, really, I can shake them off, but I wanted to tell someone about them in case they were different than regular intrusive thoughts. (And sometimes I have to stop doing tasks because I'm anxious that ""they"" will ""take control of my body and enact the violence they threaten upon me."" Definitely irrational, but it doesn't hurt to walk away from something sharp if it completely eliminates the chance of horrible things. 

Before, they consisted of: 

""Do this to that person. How much resistance would it be? What would it sound like?""

And now they're:

""I'm gonna [commit a situation specific act of violence onto your specific body part, and here's a graphic intense feeling of what it would be like]""

Before it was ""You should"" or ""what would happen if"", and now it's ""I'm doing this to you"", but I don't know who I is and I can't imagine what they want with me. Leave me alone, I've got shit to do without your edgelord ass lol 

I guess I'm asking if this is just another aspect of intrusive thoughts that I don't quite find described on other parts of the Internet? ",7.156764705882356,7.534602911764708,7.13485294117647,74.18808823529412,64.0,11.064705882352943,36.48529411764706,10.820120047756994,4.081149999999999,1160,53,206,29,16,371,151,272,0.171,0.732,0.097,-0.9782,1,1,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,4,8,3,8,11,2,1,6,1,29,6,4,2,2,48,53,20,0,11,11,0,2,2,0,7,1,1,0,1,23,11,0,2,12,0,0,4,5,6,0,0,10,3,32,5,30,34,5,16,0,1,0,2,18,6,3,7,8,149,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145536756701261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597924186135085,0.0,0.12495244284256432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034009722429107,0.0,0.10391726735189856,0.0,0.0,0.06742392995472157,0.0,0.18823383184385556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245714983152007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527662378425504,0.11596749365967457,0.0,0.12405318575687993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555893853346633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239648855092787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568805023260157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055925334527094736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109118895280028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102252765525367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088461117362888,0.0,0.12184414567367904,0.0,0.09780785171861928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840520096581267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078574935686092,0.0,0.0,0.11711498293483108,0.0,0.0,0.07812375460628708,0.1080722703638438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130758051707535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23954940103520814,0.0,0.0,0.09657623254992098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117642291336453,0.0,0.0,0.0708565513191012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069085981600633,0.0,0.0,0.1135346932111824,0.0,0.12432492808939476,0.0,0.0,0.18743092810761844,0.08514932027845336,0.10939141418149988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247093630262504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316137826499741,0.0,0.0966738581114599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469624184371708,0.0,0.0,0.5268492526015498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126090956521886,0.13047567682679762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348680464267835,0.0,0.10661950796308206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31428316680118873,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,literal90sgarbage,2019/03/11,"Loneliness Lately I've been getting lonely again. 
I am in a good environment and relationship.
I still can't help to still feel disconnected from everyone.
I'm not post this for needing help or anything. Normally I deal with this loneliness is just talk to someone random and dump these feelings on them and just slowly just cut them off when I go back to not being lonely (I know that makes me seem like an asshole)
This is just a post for me to get it off my chest since I have no one to currently to talk to. ",3.6926470588235283,5.282737823529415,4.768774509803921,83.58198529411767,72.72549019607844,8.237254901960785,26.47549019607843,8.841846274778883,1.9258196078431364,406,14,82,8,8,133,69,102,0.206,0.7440000000000001,0.05,-0.9333,1,4,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,9,6,2,0,3,0,7,1,1,1,0,19,17,5,0,2,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,1,2,11,2,15,15,0,14,0,2,0,0,8,4,0,3,8,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16592253938562762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550393696364975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078694581992995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19266404966963346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20389819672906306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068445776020975,0.0,0.11458975273265135,0.1691158730271514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702937932321696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080939242915072,0.0,0.2274449952292245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850518208759047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458815443924196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495044947340192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19755248173689208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366282482114007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862074872674692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164728520116508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183554420525065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667886397194614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083862159949506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32204052029055824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32412165395247144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kirkarshi,2019/03/11,"I'm destroying myself but too afraid to speak out I have recently been feeling a lot more sad for no reason but loneliness. I started self harming again, even though I haven't for about a year. I am crying more often and just feel like doing nothing. I stay in my room most of the day and barely eat. Anything is a trigger to start crying. Yesterday night, I was crying extremely hard, and I don't even have a reason. I don't have friends to go to for this. I don't want to sound like an edgy teenager (even though I already do) but I just want to scream. Like just scream. And I feel like it would be so much better but I'm stuck in a household of multiple people. I want to tell my family so badly, but I don't want the pity. I want to feel better, but I don't want anyone to sympathize with me. But I'm such a coward, I can't even come out and say, ""I'm lonely, sad, and self harming. Please get me the treatment I need medically, but please don't act any different towards me."" Thats all it takes, but I'm just so pathetic. So I decided to keep it inside, at least until it goes away. But at any second during the day I feel like I'm about to have a break down and start crying on the spot.

The three big problems are:

1. I'm sad and need help medically

2. I don't want to be treated differently by anyone

3. I don't want to say #1 due to the fear of #2

I know theres no solution to this besides to get help because I'm only destroying myself but for right now, I need something or someone to distract me from this whole thing. Any advice or reccomendations for that distraction?

My country/region is the USA",2.2897030462415096,3.632914174556217,4.094589086127549,88.00325991672148,75.89349112426034,7.137584922200308,23.761122068814373,7.793537801064563,1.0559069471838702,1253,38,274,18,27,424,156,338,0.292,0.595,0.113,-0.9971,2,2,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,2,22,26,2,4,16,0,25,3,0,3,1,57,60,28,0,13,17,0,6,5,1,1,2,6,1,2,10,12,1,1,9,0,0,3,12,17,0,2,3,12,33,9,41,54,8,31,0,5,0,0,9,13,0,5,18,178,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210126001552058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271577471995464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140503511614438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749445326868675,0.0,0.06913952282319079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893752556424838,0.0,0.07015138624915207,0.051216494910512944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861390215295786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237392896578605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691586044583038,0.1083691112376468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755615192184179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597122451030638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22197196142677725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920454133905375,0.0945434273750962,0.21240971959801191,0.18006708319401407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649119740994333,0.0,0.08779170647785647,0.0,0.04774927417154279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526348107836198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126307731025552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467891580855192,0.0,0.0,0.046174007131563964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523436147872348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142896232510962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16927826760444634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06176277897973957,0.18689448939438727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788450505024635,0.0,0.08061738262243466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389935265000721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058247390822786,0.0,0.0,0.1844527145704599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039372519392478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276866356157689,0.08295748015688922,0.0,0.0,0.0717507755545037,0.0,0.13362871581650754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529785965260006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711880424497884,0.0646810373053558,0.0,0.0,0.17840477692882714,0.08955183758731332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317095887944774,0.0,0.07343529463901423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581771902778961,0.0,0.1650942007339767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3964471867856435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938029169427604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596838623310097,0.0,0.0,0.0541047337690411
mentalhealth,Whytfigatp,2019/03/11,"Do people like me make it? So everybody tends to lose someone close by the age of 21. Way too often to drug addiction and every day I see myself closer to becoming that kid. I’m 15 almost 16 living in Australia and I have an drug addiction that now acts mainly psychologically as if I can’t take opiates, then I’ll take my vyvanse, Benzos, weed etc. My friends and I get drunk almost every weekend partying which is normal but they just stick to that. I spend the whole next day shoving kratom or tramadol down my throat to ‘recover’ and then every other day I take whatever I can get my hands on which mostly consists of either tramadol or kratom. Sometimes amphetamines (prescription) or Benzos. Either way I spend almost every hour on something otherwise it’s all i can think about. I feel like I’m damaging my brain which I hate bc I wanna be a writer, I’m always writing poetry, rap and in my head it’s pretty much all I do, mainly plotting stories and listening to music. I have a lot of friends which is good for me and I’m in somewhat of a relationship (short - term things with each other for 3 months while still hooking up with other ppl, now we’re keeping it as just us) so I have a lot that I’m proud of. But I can hardly bear to stay at school without drugs and I’m just bad news. I feel like I’m someone I wouldn’t want my kids to be hanging out with, not that I’ve ever peer pressured or introduced my friends to drugs but I’m pretty self destructive with them. Just for the record I have severe OCD and I’m not bipolar but I do go through short and very severe manic/depressive phases. Anyway, Idk how long I’m gonna be able to keep my hobbies and social life going like I am. Have I damaged my brain permanently? Do I still have a good shot at a good life as an adult?",2.037780401416768,4.1693206804407765,3.7005871704053535,87.00386776859507,79.11019283746558,6.2422353404171576,23.04360487996852,7.33818517376401,0.9751634632034628,1409,46,282,19,35,469,191,363,0.101,0.767,0.133,0.8981,0,0,5,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,2,2,16,18,2,1,11,0,21,15,5,2,3,60,50,29,0,5,18,0,4,4,3,2,9,1,0,4,17,18,1,2,3,3,2,4,5,7,0,0,0,6,39,11,40,45,15,39,0,3,1,0,14,14,0,13,22,182,56,1,0.08542095667093341,0.0,0.0,0.1862429027561633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566102472229402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107707888038267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713229307844856,0.0,0.09434073545932252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907160761025395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652683510599691,0.0,0.073572944812121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39624476151762783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952669466982301,0.0,0.07726814575092184,0.28788336068365195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638280461078765,0.12204949702725805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979880576843553,0.0,0.08925784848118687,0.0,0.09709339640562087,0.21494113705722012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765203987913544,0.08433550995726402,0.08766654549097389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841224355794777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151852142290008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206706957889805,0.1669294586009356,0.0,0.07542826972490818,0.07559485861303104,0.0,0.09556420068026887,0.0,0.1452436853586197,0.0,0.0,0.05701915188244721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818219265127552,0.0,0.06279423181438118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084615649916253,0.0,0.08369440095112783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922013585413163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380764464519646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171013956396117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864505685582104,0.06806944297819144,0.0,0.08911268742620168,0.1930027338590257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870759080112856,0.14475379877160016,0.06576122573564087,0.08448351035575953,0.0,0.0,0.0910473741912783,0.1364345726803109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19267778594195187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056749887972670277,0.05473429988767682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027508932701457,0.0,0.0,0.07048123525980628,0.050383493425189184,0.135606358774267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536944756486856,0.0,0.0823427539768325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ultra_amethyst,2019/03/11,"How do I make sure my ex-boyfriend is okay? My ex-boyfriend while we were dating told me that he thinks he has depression, I was the first person he ever told. He has extremely low self-esteem. To my knowledge, only one or two other people in his life know he may have depression. I told him he should get help but I don't know if he has. We broke up because I started to feel like a ""therapy dog"" for him. I had absolutely no problem comforting him and being there for him but when I went through crap he just wasn't there for me. He also wouldn't make much of an effort to see me, we only live a mile away and sometimes he would say that seeing me ONCE during the week was too distracting for him because he had too much homework. I know a lot of how he acted is related to his depression and issues with self-worth but I couldn't stay in a relationship like that. I still care very much about him and it kills me not knowing how he's doing; if he's okay. I know the breakup was harder on him than me, I was the one that initiated it and it was his very 1st break up so I don't want to ""stir the pot"" so to speak by texting, etc, but I also want to do anything I can to support him. Advice?",2.429633867276888,3.4514647905138363,3.968375286041191,90.32816933638443,75.00790513833992,7.065446224256292,23.59246931558145,7.475848149327749,0.7855106719367582,924,26,212,11,19,308,131,253,0.14,0.763,0.097,-0.9112,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,3,0,0,2,16,17,2,1,10,2,27,2,1,5,2,42,48,21,1,9,9,0,1,2,0,4,1,2,1,1,8,9,0,0,8,0,0,2,7,9,0,4,13,5,38,8,25,29,5,20,0,5,2,0,36,8,1,5,10,147,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166725940057136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827698007520638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403778977898088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736421270460167,0.0,0.0,0.13932077587308953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650998938552742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952721633583899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744575024586352,0.0,0.10336740230088548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057780383036922726,0.08163738974988148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720143140398232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059703464104134074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765954734077913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927239782669805,0.0,0.0,0.12642728291055855,0.0,0.3140100913767622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071512675971329,0.11165703755008292,0.0,0.1009060619449544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715169369098364,0.0,0.0,0.1525576045395886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25201368140977143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169811227746162,0.15487008010783912,0.17382109815484054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922322384802519,0.0997796751004476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934481351091513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268754218506958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087529515153793,0.0,0.0,0.18212321334603676,0.0,0.23842547072348644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130199374899667,0.0,0.0808837464851182,0.1218009111647,0.09125938784306108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967681485256854,0.10770192074549192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068231220113946,0.0,0.0,0.07322218413762442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275811978508599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116291224865593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18857608472316245,0.13480356707391067,0.0,0.09166373383347702,0.0,0.0,0.10593317052309748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117699211540648,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jario5615,2019/03/11,"Extentenstial panic Over the last year or so, I've had more and more extentenstial thoughts, from the harmless what is life to the damming what is the point of it all. It's driving me insane. I can barely leave myself alone  with my thoughts without causing a panic within me. Sometimes, I can barely sleep at night out of the fear of the futility of it all. I'm trying to get help, but living in old britannia means I'm at the tail end of a waiting list that'll take a good month to enact. It's difficult to articulate, but I just want to go back without these thoughts, a time when I was a kid and could get by knowing that the extent of my knowledge lied at 12*12=144. I don't know what to write, but maybe venting will help me calm me down a bit at 5am, and hell if someone reads it, all the better. ",3.9623822562979214,4.518269487951809,5.009912376779848,86.02254654983574,70.98795180722891,7.482146768893758,27.74151150054764,7.348242739294969,1.28964578313253,629,21,137,6,11,207,103,166,0.131,0.753,0.116,-0.5606,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,1,3,15,0,10,2,1,1,3,28,24,10,0,3,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,11,5,0,1,7,1,0,2,3,5,0,0,5,0,12,4,26,16,7,21,1,0,0,0,4,10,1,2,9,90,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981127496714082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864940992108458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646838078491533,0.16845880890478812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585115888290866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231983144470039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366665749072178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17363366765588722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16123379920468875,0.0,0.08769389721210183,0.12942195643600574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068519702287217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960168318870164,0.12577746266697992,0.0,0.163384497538661,0.0,0.0,0.1089887055636984,0.0,0.0,0.1362522926792962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501800847978114,0.1680810997367824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316310718141772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480282421898466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191494297283027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620824268038727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586612097817542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543446622417249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441434139716032,0.0,0.13074035125423938,0.0,0.15260951923660626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601658184085464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674978139339447,0.08997526517546613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047615442507256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101185162288472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297484989534786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993660122410427
mentalhealth,LifeAbsolutelySuxx,2019/03/11,"The Daily Struggle Every day, without fail, I have a major mood-swing or two or more, for one reason or another. It's like a bomb goes off in my mind, one second I'm on top of the world, the next I'm sobbing and suicidal, or I'm seething and swearing up a storm. I am an absolute pain to be close to, my mood swings and depression are ruining my relationships with the people I love. I don't know what to do, or how to fix this.

I'm tired of being this way, I'm tired of never being truly happy, there's a cloud that hangs over my head and I know, no matter what, it'll rain. 

I can't just be happy, I don't know why, I want to so bad, for myself, for my boyfriend, for my parents, my brother, my family. I don't want to be a burden, I don't want to push people away, I don't want to be alone. 

I am an absolute headache to everyone that knows me. 

And I can't change that.

Not without the proper tools, and I don't even know what those are. 

​

I am full of love to give, I'm not a bad person, I don't want to be a bad person. I don't want to be like this. I want to be better.",1.3101147842056908,1.9948420041322308,3.7450688705234185,92.1583103764922,77.30578512396694,6.865381083562903,21.295684113865928,7.1686216300943375,0.34080367309458204,823,19,205,9,18,289,111,242,0.259,0.652,0.08800000000000001,-0.988,1,1,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,3,6,18,0,1,14,0,27,6,1,2,1,35,48,13,1,7,10,2,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,2,12,8,0,0,6,0,0,2,16,10,0,4,0,0,28,7,30,38,3,16,0,4,0,2,8,10,1,5,5,136,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395877355035318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921837636239492,0.13369952214207784,0.0,0.11537693646670195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033776024108392,0.0,0.27561348285479825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731334228983013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639804617390467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096079345699292,0.0,0.09476940697994704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267433647908902,0.0,0.09270573388442498,0.10513918923141384,0.0,0.0,0.10372728971618528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555161421501542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342597645238909,0.0,0.0,0.112923392551108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30235037878638393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751102758964193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986142699646008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109978883635008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848625721141302,0.0,0.11701905367276676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491194986058591,0.0,0.11708057857485,0.0,0.12217623391923922,0.0,0.0,0.15256306976700884,0.19214938239424506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313003595599087,0.0,0.1181319513948951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502813116463295,0.0,0.12035588749343873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529285440390369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748414905846733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542933090381913,0.0873373645472866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928572488783433,0.0,0.0,0.212131619399159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369952214207784,0.0
mentalhealth,Aubreylaw,2019/03/11,Lately I’ve been feeling very detached.   I have had this super strange feeling lately that none of this is real.  I feel like I’m in some kind of virtual reality game and I have this fogginess hovering around the center of my forehead.  I’m having constant panic attacks because of this feeling and I think I may be losing my mind. It is really starting to freak me out.  I just emailed my doctor and asked about getting back on Bupropion.  I have a history of anxiety and depression but have never experienced anything quite like this.  Has anyone else had these feelings?  If so how do you cope with them.,3.624712918660286,6.153128026315793,4.90971291866029,78.32117224880382,75.75438596491226,7.654226475279107,30.539074960127593,8.575989854853784,2.848501754385966,481,23,81,10,11,159,82,114,0.126,0.774,0.101,-0.2301,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,3,6,9,1,1,2,0,14,2,1,1,1,22,25,8,0,1,3,0,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,6,13,4,12,20,2,11,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,3,8,62,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245656824831245,0.0,0.0,0.12106803093543125,0.17740901013498228,0.142484783837023,0.1541370588966252,0.16186856737718394,0.1969790948875845,0.0,0.13313894031926912,0.0,0.1055484751446198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871098122360104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913079258913747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17722273901632266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464164995746914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.437740264120739,0.12369586587338785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046187917849637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030539396378856,0.0,0.0,0.390633498017159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918122912712233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937065999871188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17482856645031586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354122436590712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315006473677485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18416257360584468,0.0,0.19707857846744106,0.11092205617145136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255395581869165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109452604473705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428639631565314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,monkey-emoji,2019/03/11,"I feel like a worse person than me from a year ago I’ve gotten bad(I mean bad) acne and a few bad haircuts the past 5 months since my normal stylist quit and I just feel disgusted with myself. I rarely do things I used to love like skate and my confidence at school couldn’t be lower since my friends all went to different schools after middle school. I just wish I could feel like the old me. The best way to explain my mental state right now is as if there’s 2 parts to my brain fighting each other. On good days I feel like I’m in control, but On bad days I feel like I’m just doing “things” while constantly overthinking. I’ll have thoughts I don’t want to have. It’s like my brain is fighting my conscious. Usually I hate venting because it makes me feel weak and I wonder how the old me would feel about this and I just hope someone could give me any advice to improve my state at the moment. Thank you for reading if you did. ",2.625,4.27301816666667,3.1639583333333365,93.751875,75.66666666666666,6.0500000000000025,22.9375,6.6274283507984215,0.4126500000000002,736,21,161,6,16,229,114,192,0.129,0.6829999999999999,0.188,0.81,2,0,0,0,4,0,12.0,0,2,0,3,8,20,4,0,8,0,13,4,2,4,1,39,37,11,0,10,7,0,7,6,1,1,1,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,12,1,0,1,2,8,0,0,4,7,28,12,18,28,5,25,0,0,0,1,9,7,0,4,20,94,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754617191775193,0.08848733106809986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678832660215242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333931382799629,0.06085135619868825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475839309783276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22287162919732664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078735227301247,0.11196031734049508,0.15940156220681875,0.0,0.0,0.12875553862831238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429410055694696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533156132973984,0.2852551373860514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771232327473048,0.0,0.0,0.0957596038549007,0.0,0.08372704664168346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855484072174928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914705911323772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29261172807017616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009442419799044,0.0,0.06663282684496051,0.0,0.0,0.10873683619676666,0.0,0.0,0.1005984061305812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967800443978107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780563797172086,0.0,0.0,0.20949551923942566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809890449403474,0.09529263359640812,0.0,0.08716185382799761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617436537668104,0.09985031203571416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524855143695169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30307952197869764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16514972801934755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457995682383622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190388151443236,0.0,0.0,0.13263632775702208,0.0,0.0,0.07924854858554196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621527928263759,0.10994126029509717,0.0,0.058878367748544436,0.0792350879044109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253719773466317,0.0,0.0,0.11479186676849708,0.0,0.1082541089742831,0.0,0.0,0.1017284692466826,0.07091160713679086,0.0,0.0,0.06428293135575963
mentalhealth,Anonymous-Shark,2019/03/11,"First Suicidal Episode I’m writing right now because I had my first suicidal episode 1 week ago. I made threats to blow my brains out, drown myself, or even hang. I was sent to the hospital that night by my housemates and ex-girlfriend. I was black out drunk and on drugs so the doctors said I had Alcohol Induced Delirium. But my family and friends know that isn’t the root reason for my threats. So now I am being forced into therapy Tuesday. I am really scared because I’ve done it before but every time I finished a session I felt a pain in my heart and a pressure that wouldn’t go away. 

People say to speak your mind and release that burden from your mind and you will feel lighter. I never feel lighter after talking about my feelings. I feel pressure and like I am dying inside. I feel vulnerable and fear. 

If anyone is reading this I could really use your help with this process and any tips for myself to bounce back. To find myself again and be able to live my life the way it should be. I don’t think I would ever have the courage to kill myself but that was scary for not only my friends but me too. I’m terrified right now that I will snap at any moment. Or relapse. 

Any Ted Talks, books or articles or even real life experiences of your own would be so helpful for me to not feel alone right now. ",4.07103455202893,5.2812092251908425,4.560413820811572,86.92723382884695,71.25190839694656,7.500522298111693,28.293290478103657,7.85451343220497,1.6383862595419845,1035,38,211,13,19,328,149,262,0.188,0.726,0.086,-0.9811,0,1,2,0,0,1,21.0,0,5,0,2,14,13,3,4,8,0,24,9,2,5,2,51,40,22,5,6,11,0,7,1,2,6,6,3,0,0,10,14,2,0,12,3,0,3,6,9,0,2,10,11,37,4,25,19,1,32,0,0,1,0,16,10,0,5,19,142,47,4,0.10806338968916727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579167478761436,0.11548689940235896,0.0,0.11192108150483183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22046043192049208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556043466962598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152911184223408,0.08309407631600657,0.0,0.13174887869279242,0.0,0.09195398538074588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063448160181092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627982346875156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215273748840672,0.0,0.0,0.11060745838475568,0.0,0.11058636645954872,0.0,0.0,0.1253192241838383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427496994391879,0.0977495227196687,0.09104806654890348,0.0,0.0,0.105706730854745,0.1018725464035542,0.1216013568109832,0.32784058061041865,0.0,0.10375780070409298,0.0,0.09876798044252803,0.18383732813079495,0.0,0.0,0.16697901362204468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061414914682146424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805563708659853,0.14486522446031394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195561297678636,0.0,0.05938881287137681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265673590313192,0.052794313709474135,0.0,0.09542195290861173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022521921873429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182264363529421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334514802494379,0.0,0.0,0.10141017080850566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218707738144833,0.1149870656647484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491754796078104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809263317712514,0.1229997955530786,0.1384563491122361,0.11110716253260143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276856633038657,0.10279302986163763,0.08593634482769393,0.10819030488960914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23640761784414235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371451852740755,0.0,0.0,0.12357990392735925,0.0,0.0,0.06924265670438706,0.0,0.0,0.06301263155051323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333207245690192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577568879850216,0.08668193292546708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353026309013318,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ItsCalledLuck360,2019/03/11,"I dont want to do this to myself Today was the first day in my life that I purposfully cut myself. 

Ive been on a downward spiral for about a month now, but on the outside, im fine. If you read my previous post on JUSTNOFAMILY and depressionhelp, you would see my struggles trying to communicate. 

Today I just didnt feel real. I didnt feel like a real person, I was just on autopilot. Unprompty, I just took my arm and bit down really hard. I honestly dont know why I did it.

I dont enjoy the pain, but I kept doing it anyway. While going to sleep, my subconcious seriously debated whether I should grab a knife and see what happened.

I *helped* a friend get through a situation similar to this, but for me I just dont know what Im doing.

I feel like im drowning in fog and I cant scream",1.5683636363636353,3.3539806242424284,4.361818181818183,83.38272727272731,79.12121212121212,7.793939393939394,23.12121212121212,8.648137234880735,1.5621393939393935,613,20,132,14,15,219,91,165,0.12,0.769,0.111,0.3788,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,2,0,1,7,11,1,1,9,0,17,4,2,0,0,24,30,10,1,4,9,0,5,2,1,2,2,1,0,1,7,4,0,1,5,1,0,2,7,5,0,1,8,8,26,6,16,20,1,18,0,0,2,0,5,8,0,1,9,91,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245533351867378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824450321599218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5687673691293387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18403649672920067,0.17334902057311005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319887115333166,0.0,0.0,0.09373529243109807,0.0,0.06338723628341204,0.0,0.06895171869193416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728718051853624,0.0,0.10868325152853836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132150192610485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.393155032242817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335394959835434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569534261261114,0.11854640477055395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684035251686482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909821410582467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593619544156753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619568671604864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135770071608082,0.2761885234567221,0.07772381745141811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193360424395544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637423548831246,0.12141248785266633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683509499221565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300035783559157,0.0,0.13479639300615345,0.08237162172685142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156055085059199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094768229303488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618570559023307,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rdouchey,2019/03/11,"I think im bipolar but i have ptsd, depression, panic attacks, anxiety, and sometimes randomly pull my hair or hit my arm when agitated. I've thought I'm bipolar for about a month and a half now. It all started when I was around four. I was extremely happy and always was. I would almost never have fits but I remember a specific time when I got a spike of depression. I remember little 4-6 year old me walking up to the knife drawer and grabbing a knife. I held it to my chest, neck, arm, etc for a couple minutes thinking about what happens when you die. I ended up putting it back and have never told anyone. It started up again last year (5th grade)
I found out I was bisexual and got really really happy for a week. Talking to a lot of guys. Then after, when I realised I didn't know anyone else out I got really sad and started staying in my room a lot and writing poetry. I then tried to kill myself and went to the hospital, but hen the mental hospital. I ended up really happy at the hospital but that soon faded as the second I got out i was sad again and started drinking ( I know ) Skip to the start of 6th grade. It got bad. I would hate myself for a couple weeks then get happy for a week or two then cycle back. Now it's the third quarter of 6th grade and it's gotten very bad. For example last week my baby parakeet hatched and I was trying to move it to the new cage I set up because I knew my 2 parakeets that aren't it's mom and dad were aggressive. My mom wouldn't let me and I walked in my room and was gonna cut myself. Instead I packed a bag to just leave without anyone knowing. After about two hours I went out of my room and saw the keet and I was happy again. I'm so confused please help. ",2.3704310344827597,3.838437474719104,4.279046881053855,86.24859550561796,75.93820224719101,7.157535838822162,24.63541263076327,7.873277556716777,1.3049117783804742,1335,44,279,20,29,455,169,356,0.182,0.727,0.091,-0.9884,0,0,1,0,0,2,35.0,0,1,0,0,20,18,5,2,21,0,18,8,5,0,3,53,49,34,2,3,8,3,2,0,0,4,2,0,3,1,12,22,1,1,10,1,0,7,6,13,0,7,24,3,43,5,40,19,4,69,0,4,1,0,9,18,0,7,42,190,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750188879135436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440048192871957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059208472730458366,0.0,0.0,0.1623532899040383,0.07930234549805751,0.0,0.06889971534914924,0.0,0.08805023051977269,0.0,0.11902699007689264,0.12924647966525582,0.04718047655157563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127655768726652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332379938656735,0.0,0.08032583888027076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581956849953844,0.0,0.0,0.06465523983031643,0.0,0.13710149141191466,0.0,0.08631808419657759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486178635710953,0.0,0.0,0.04043672410752088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095071494845166,0.0,0.0,0.07663517190283081,0.06844188788267377,0.4119525863491003,0.0,0.07641348758989533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051877559745504655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622042826849024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836020125524157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562828364198302,0.0,0.12760605726159527,0.12617772655352202,0.0,0.08195221948506479,0.0,0.07914364900568098,0.0,0.0,0.07757210016207985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316002779171622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799794512504361,0.0,0.0,0.18129279941451493,0.06177752567868761,0.08226073397569736,0.0,0.0,0.11938663436362384,0.07475047910520485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121510390715789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080867205927652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495863480965897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047292000113227,0.07780533535500579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832993183763606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535136622365294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765475856302044,0.0,0.2739098803125322,0.08249487554392329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062208755394128276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918571067698527,0.0,0.061444551475208775,0.04513079754180414,0.0,0.0,0.0739561247635613,0.0,0.10509492880128672,0.0,0.15121119339006975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386060864011903,0.0,0.0,0.24833273387450766,0.0,0.0,0.143495539314304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460792034476266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996117841081167,0.0,0.0,0.09968222649283674
mentalhealth,Magic3170,2019/03/12,"Trying to find a way out. Recently I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, at this point I seem to be lost just trying to come to terms with what this will do to me overtime, while I may not have it for a lifetime the effects have already changed me in a negative way I’ve even cut off ties to all of my friends. I’ve completely given up on goals I had set for myself seeming as if is impossible for me now. 

I just feel like nothing matters now knowing I will have to end up depending on other services. 

Guys I just don’t know what to do at this point without feeling I’ve ruined my family around me. They all see me as a disgrace  to where most family just avoids me altogether. From this I’ve almost just given up, should I try and keep myself sane for a while or just give up now?",8.003105590062113,5.3000512981366485,8.258260869565216,76.8204347826087,63.96894409937888,11.436024844720498,36.664596273291934,9.606745405546679,3.18420248447205,613,22,130,9,7,203,95,161,0.1,0.848,0.052000000000000005,-0.6761,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,3,12,6,1,1,6,0,14,1,0,2,2,34,27,7,0,2,10,0,2,1,1,4,1,0,0,1,8,6,0,2,8,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,5,3,19,2,32,17,4,27,0,2,1,0,4,15,0,8,9,100,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16441825031321933,0.0,0.1811940101447533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616896209179492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17369725238694556,0.14144003497626936,0.17215604109226695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665515364753472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542863202963974,0.0,0.0,0.10844969465039148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30957813835341386,0.0,0.16604453343106448,0.11730142289716962,0.0,0.0,0.1500718721273539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685717105869462,0.0,0.0,0.15751145295654762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625795328761308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594466011296411,0.0,0.0,0.18047529758320294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021771287173253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792389752513899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575501783688275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104359708689189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212342016806164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084269434353096,0.2989551511904033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344342553409006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606617679804618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827877118734604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InkyFirefly,2019/03/12,"seizures hi i'm new to reddit and this is my very first post, hooray for me. anyway, i don't know how posting usually goes around here but this seemed like an okay place to join and just share some frustrations i've had. i suppose i've had mental health issues since i was quite young, starting from just anxiety/depression that manifested into ocd over time. after a point of it being so crippling in my life, i saw a therapist specifically for ocd which brought it down from ""crippling"" to ""slightly less crippling"". still struggled with holding jobs, family life went down the drain after i came out as gay to my parents, dropped out of college after being unable to keep up, and overall, i've just been a mess.

​

managed to get a job at home depot last may, made it through training okay, and things maybe were looking up...until the first day they put me on the floor out in the garden heat, tasked me with stacking a bunch of 60lb bags that i clearly am not fit enough to do well, but i did it regardless. started having problems focusing, people would talk to me and i felt like i couldn't make out the features on their face, everything was spacing out. took a break, tried to eat some food and drink water. started feeling faint, vaguely recall saying ""oh no"", and woke up much later in an ambulance with a swollen tongue, barely able to remember my own name. later was told i had a tonic clonic seizure, before getting thrown under a bunch of imaging tests. quit my job because it was just too physically taxing for me. i was told there was no head damage, but it didn't stop me from having more seizures from then onward, even despite being on medication. now i feel like i'm addicted to the meds i'm on, and i just feel like my life is spiraling downward.

​

earlier i was having leg tremors, which i've had prior to seizures. i haven't had one yet, but i'm terrified of one acting up, i'm scared to be alone anymore. i guess i'm really just looking for support. thanks for listening to my ted talk.",6.340259538598048,6.492598709183677,6.258487133984032,80.54862466725821,65.73469387755102,8.96024844720497,32.85980479148181,8.587818076936951,2.5267358917480034,1602,62,304,21,23,505,226,392,0.087,0.8059999999999999,0.107,0.6303,4,1,1,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,2,4,18,16,1,2,17,2,32,16,3,3,1,53,66,16,0,4,11,1,4,4,0,2,8,2,2,0,13,19,4,3,7,2,1,6,7,6,1,4,26,9,31,10,58,33,9,60,0,1,3,1,12,28,0,5,26,197,44,7,0.09164932640463183,0.0,0.0,0.09991129372971468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492106216453422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19860401373746892,0.222727926200595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908915048847512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158733128568131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055868578717970734,0.0,0.07798682647849174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048224137477586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059106233571386335,0.0,0.07893743053723587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897814486135701,0.0,0.09378014119135823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946982535852056,0.0,0.06053351572487599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236850498980196,0.0,0.08639882835311684,0.0,0.13902195955296895,0.13094859419174054,0.0879977258820839,0.0,0.0,0.1559137404413995,0.1108227292802972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576598071994033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009620656711235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405864972246013,0.0974189482524088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919317470131617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565808552389927,0.2728434442006206,0.08146213234061794,0.0,0.0,0.05036807295503554,0.07470643329242305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942038888965324,0.1791009259800467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392470341441675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672080863206863,0.06117663704377451,0.0,0.09207406688018152,0.0,0.10180174077387358,0.092327054354509,0.09236096486424604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737280021405606,0.0,0.0,0.08851549054469428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420791094997755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176573100580584,0.0,0.0,0.06353810320259251,0.0,0.09575403952806807,0.0,0.08663823713261609,0.0,0.1755494409637378,0.0,0.0,0.08769602785734074,0.0,0.09213288675046424,0.0,0.1949606799398025,0.0,0.0,0.058712905309933214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382082084801136,0.0,0.0,0.07288322289157137,0.09175696408529742,0.0,0.0,0.0834341046508038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581326987991822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946095948370779,0.0,0.07319127045500018,0.07662294065945179,0.0,0.09581177516028544,0.0,0.0,0.10400256951032126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473285138985216,0.0,0.08437838627804985,0.0,0.10641193182699307,0.06088774006909885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053441459250900256,0.0,0.0,0.17514971785044856,0.10182577385159598,0.062223876608958624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093878491539604,0.07562029257775399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240375107938606,0.08495984377240384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651050519302151,0.0,0.222727926200595,0.0
mentalhealth,Cat_Momma_0215,2019/03/12,I can never seem to take my medication like I'm supposed to. Does anyone have any tips on keeping up with medication. I am really bad at not taking my Prozac and not taking it makes my anxiety/panic disorder really bad. I think its my depression that makes me not take it on time because I hardly ever leave my bed. I'm just stuck in an endless loop of feeling numb or feeling everything. ,3.8878354978355,5.489459363636364,5.9656493506493495,75.14942640692642,72.24675324675326,9.28917748917749,28.417748917748927,9.725611199111238,2.9242398268398264,309,12,56,8,6,108,55,77,0.21600000000000005,0.706,0.077,-0.9301,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,2,2,16,17,2,0,0,5,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,3,10,1,9,16,0,8,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,2,4,35,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167506922759926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251084519685138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987896396098461,0.10907095978147294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410775625495265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20506343947572744,0.0,0.1565783878429251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618478178637952,0.0,0.0,0.16080616513183174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093961348935012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028156811696687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590366743548205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894556369240283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741366946619088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388675234518177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604960306249327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379979151003866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22924774822142666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16288651119459813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5381170365005221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464785278631302,0.0,0.0,0.1043325494647537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,McMacDuffy,2019/03/12,"Worse than I thought? So first, I’d like to apologize if this isn’t particularly coherent, I haven’t tried to write and organize my thoughts like this in a while. I had a pretty bad mental health day a few days ago, and called something called a warm line. I also filled out a few surveys, and the general consensus I got is that I may be worse than I think I am. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been depressed and anxious for most of my life, but finding out that actively thinking about suicide or even thinking about it means I’m severely depressed was a bit of a shock. I’m aware that it sounds dumb, but I have been acting and thinking like this for as long as I can possibly remember. It’s not something that really concerned me.

So recognizing this, I called the previously mentioned warm line and got a guy who told me that “medication blocks your production of melanin and hides your third eye” and I didn’t know what to say to that, so I did more research and came to the conclusion that I need therapy. The issue is, I don’t like talking on the phone and I know you can set this up online, but I’m still on my mother’s insurance and I would prefer for her not to know I’m going to therapy, so I’ve done nothing but sit and hate myself even more because I can’t even bring myself to go. 

I’m not sure if not even realizing the extent of my depression is evidence to how bad it is, but either way I need some sort of help. I guess it was a wake-up call, but I’m not sure what to do now.  I’m in New York, if anyone has any local recommendations. ",4.434259259259257,4.5492957592592616,5.696518518518518,83.07533333333333,69.80246913580247,9.319506172839509,29.471604938271604,9.255337874911486,2.2237634567901226,1222,43,268,23,20,411,160,324,0.173,0.753,0.07400000000000001,-0.9886,1,0,2,0,0,1,27.0,0,3,0,2,14,16,2,0,15,0,26,4,1,1,2,62,55,32,1,8,17,1,2,4,0,2,3,2,0,1,21,15,0,1,16,0,0,6,11,8,0,2,14,5,33,8,31,38,9,26,0,3,1,0,19,8,1,10,13,176,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560560094144945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722890904698873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656725399161216,0.0,0.0,0.10909931762486333,0.0,0.06752566370336405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126783126867816,0.1177392707546324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543204283954208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944448491879344,0.11045309220862287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456241052557013,0.0,0.24953298580269084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882708886435562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551406232701761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826541908054376,0.08214442948721655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976863469168134,0.0,0.154475531987542,0.0,0.10638538028689587,0.09562185371455162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534524619327917,0.0,0.10265193949915558,0.0,0.0,0.06473044042156467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079648963528573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122946498774798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821193826980385,0.18872157570734094,0.0,0.0,0.08546353023842439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519564885432416,0.0,0.09728652759808422,0.0973222596569532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321441381858224,0.0,0.09327022045639224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266381716180554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887086460876268,0.0,0.09824884368024664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061866748839036964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939769738459698,0.0,0.0,0.07679824429416443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909931762486333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869229488062005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712283905125447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563452532568644,0.0,0.18203667798977252,0.0,0.0,0.07762123265808094,0.0,0.0,0.22087789911688724,0.0,0.0,0.2475187640723016,0.0,0.15333538809486558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227906153069074,0.0,0.06556631673456613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665467173470851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968310409546411,0.06860225830517087,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MissKala,2019/03/12,"Baseline About 2 weeks ago things were high stressed and life was ugly. I decided I didn't care anymore and took 3 gabapentin ( which I'm told is a boring drug to pick) and 2 Lexapro. I wanted it to knock me out if it did anything else I didn't care. Woke up the next day wicked groggy. Long story short went to the ER to be checked out, they referred me to IOP therapy (Intensive Out Patient) I've taken a leave of absence from work, started therapy and was put on new meds. It's a process it will take time. I feel like I'm back to baseline for the first time in a while.  Depression and anxiety have been with me a while they suck and don't leave you easily. To others don't be ashamed and don't fear getting help ❤️",1.938818135506878,3.5748348940397388,3.084370860927155,93.63743759551708,77.54304635761589,6.5004584819154365,25.522669383596536,7.321109707123232,0.9959664798777379,563,21,128,7,13,181,100,151,0.209,0.74,0.051,-0.9636,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,2,2,2,9,1,3,8,0,15,2,0,1,0,17,30,10,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,11,0,0,3,0,1,3,5,6,1,1,12,1,11,3,18,15,0,24,0,1,0,0,5,8,1,1,14,71,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045942269849634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212164553777857,0.0,0.15714324447259673,0.0,0.0,0.13039368806245655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184092213533528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32310770484510704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218936658315833,0.0,0.13647572411393274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18375569610733336,0.0,0.1323675249910624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830418368708778,0.08011882520371384,0.11319917618542945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347804234393874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278538758662539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062080073341337,0.16741476939375113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355586488962609,0.0,0.0,0.11192035760691774,0.07741235177104189,0.0,0.0,0.14022631681862618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17600606193559254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303532918630686,0.16851704145935273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928948216835215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215416731179598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150789136803547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913727446163527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36241065836374464,0.0,0.1052694312322642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479096163464345,0.0,0.0,0.15140906164101253,0.17604761296737215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345995006930097,0.0,0.12710179965112298,0.0,0.0,0.14688793542596898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535599861345988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jorleesi,2019/03/12,"Quitting Zoloft? Does anyone on here have any experience quitting Zoloft, and if so what was your experience like? ",6.374210526315789,9.865068789473684,5.504473684210527,72.51881578947369,71.63157894736842,8.010526315789475,30.552631578947373,8.841846274778883,3.0712947368421046,93,4,14,2,2,28,16,19,0.0,0.863,0.13699999999999998,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21180382162031808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177804246354409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725611839697841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6093362705766601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216386867355838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6625531640673435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_millseh,2019/03/12,"Metagognition      Ive always always been interested in thought and conciousness. I liked to try and better understand myself.
     But for a while now my thoughts have been hard to read. its like my mind is; for lack of a better term.. a sticky, messy, spinning, spiderweb of thought and emotion. Its like ants swarmed across my brain incepting thoughts and questions and anxiety and put downs. Its kind of fascinating for me in a weird way.. generally its pretty overwhelming.

     For the most part its only at night or when im alone. I find it helpful to talk to people even if they dont say anything and just listen. Theyre probably getting sick of listening lol.

     I know thats pretty vague but I could rant about this for hours. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe im blowing this out of proportion, maybe its something else or maybe thats just life.

    { I dont know what the purpose of posting this here was but I didnt think it could hurt much.} 
     ",2.9387005649717497,5.473772502824861,3.4450000000000003,87.87789548022602,78.20903954802259,6.871186440677969,25.65254237288136,7.984000788550335,1.58173220338983,731,28,144,13,18,228,112,177,0.128,0.753,0.119,-0.4012,0,1,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,2,7,10,0,1,6,1,11,3,1,0,0,32,23,15,0,4,8,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,14,8,0,0,10,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,8,4,13,7,22,13,5,15,0,2,0,0,7,6,0,5,9,89,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663379352662175,0.0,0.0,0.1874071796846431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614914481643007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267145026664103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19919526892771366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257140927353283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982569468886514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639647512971319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407426610444553,0.1266752147528186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438026306803855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029268488392681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058835991546338215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087972347573418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548256526703835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090177486531587,0.0,0.1205552565741564,0.0,0.24328416370780814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726980172587853,0.1237790493997737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954236135131182,0.16505204386283562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4525422476644764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370769821653605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278400062417918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568029511998653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564776613108847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194962412302846,0.0,0.07807213531975464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785276093722763,0.2291371635109293,0.1214165767657225,0.0,0.0,0.11320783654568367,0.1261530766647839,0.0,0.11264413897917346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955490569158865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669550044721304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051459749174896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721582888291298,0.0,0.3576106809791291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645728578400679,0.0,0.0,0.11723479588552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938748484570673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lemonbeees,2019/03/12,"Lil vent and probably a small beg for someone to tell me what to do Hhey. I genuinely have no where else to really go to, so I made this secret account to come to this subrdeddit for help.

Some details, I'm only 13. Young, I know, so I'm worried about this being hormones or whatever, but I'm just so tired of this. It's getting to be so hard to cope with not only the issue I'm about to explain, but with other things that I'm not getting into.

I'd like to note that this is hard for me to post because I've been feeling on and off. So I'm consistantly invalidating myself and telling myself it's fake, because that's what I've been told.

So here's the thing:

Lately I've been feeling super off. I can't remember much and my body feels weird and foreign if that makes sense. I feel weird and floaty, and the concept of me walking and moving in the perspective I'm in seems so weird. I can't get the thought out of my head. I feel spacy if that makes sense. 

I remember things I did. For example, today I went around town with my friend. We got McDonald's, went to some stores, I bought a succulent. But the memories feel so distant. I remember I did it but just barely, like the memory is just far from me if that makes sense at all? I've been feeling that way about my memory for YEARS now and it's been getting worse and worse.

I'm also very uncomfortable with talking to my mum or dad about this. I posted about this on a private Facebook group and I've been told to message the Canadian helpline (I hate phone calls with people I don't know) but I've always been told that that's for those who are suicidal or in danger because of their mental health, and I guess I just feel guilty about ""taking their resources."" 

I hope someone can at least try and help me find out what's going on. It's been getting terrible and on and off lately, right now it isn't too bad but it's so hard going into social situations with someone I love and knowing I'll never remember a thing, and I think the most annoying part is I feel the need to snap a rubber band against my wrist way too hard as a sort of reminder that I'm real I guess, and I stare in the mirror for way too long to remind myself that.



TL;DR - I'm very spacy, memories feel distant, beginning to hurt myself to remind myself I'm real because my body feels foreign and wacky. Too afraid to tell my parents.",3.1109784116765624,4.371996712525668,4.468910594372609,86.46595982018982,73.6611909650924,7.400388478827902,25.48249070425662,7.917944638633933,1.3447484211110492,1857,60,389,26,37,616,204,487,0.14400000000000002,0.777,0.08,-0.9864,1,0,0,0,0,2,49.0,1,0,2,1,29,17,3,1,17,0,23,7,4,4,2,90,80,42,1,5,18,3,15,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,35,32,0,0,24,1,3,8,8,11,0,0,19,16,45,6,64,59,7,48,0,1,1,1,26,25,0,14,12,248,80,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571093273266909,0.05942172906979184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357313013580307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059627265727558575,0.17413195746792354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864853555773986,0.0,0.0,0.07292113886684289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151638228307332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05965679182947476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3971967659616689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527061915158403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055173870902288716,0.0,0.18655295678117287,0.0,0.12175776466679775,0.0,0.057115876872439325,0.0,0.15733998008135072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558897735763452,0.07050601829145252,0.07329082450639374,0.07590918071897237,0.0,0.0,0.09573388917838513,0.0,0.0,0.07092969063912244,0.0,0.0,0.07644959820795785,0.0,0.0,0.07453711040331458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177409288746547,0.0,0.16111501272062065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977802984450973,0.0,0.0,0.06319867499243191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445344616197607,0.06757315340226272,0.14300714020549998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196798260532802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590121845355721,0.05249711846345607,0.05295218421180382,0.0550784716918857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862632612130332,0.0,0.0,0.0792962088433041,0.0773338304006861,0.0,0.0495091093166986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367887303063903,0.0,0.0769958007083285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256832984327854,0.04574929846460779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235901677659051,0.06098671443144171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501214231602953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027173402975563,0.0,0.07279704084435598,0.1815252078712653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811474690330966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053694043022778234,0.057399443266438574,0.18725556520025224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18977574886149548,0.04575886896285964,0.0,0.056694319378167525,0.0,0.0820792800988197,0.06769162078734595,0.2047158970153115,0.0,0.04848505941889684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784718595880254,0.0,0.17005406886768148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240200701131255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252384676143107,0.1455528568853997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598793423849723
mentalhealth,acp3500,2019/03/12,"Mstate I’ve created an empty website i want to use to potentially become a mental health type business, hopefully to be a resource and help those that need it. I just need content and other potential more complex things we could provide. If anyone wants to contribute or add anything feel free to contact me. ",8.930119047619051,8.863497964285717,8.547142857142859,67.03119047619049,60.42857142857143,11.038095238095238,41.88095238095238,10.504223727775694,4.765709523809527,250,13,38,5,3,80,47,56,0.031,0.765,0.204,0.8481,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,16,9,4,0,7,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,5,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,25,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20496080009374187,0.0,0.2412180579032895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237350880085517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340375849797856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821351941419186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31157966463457576,0.0,0.0,0.19647645253079132,0.0,0.0,0.2911406632590404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954024753291877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4346990348759877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947401606300748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531671016559598,0.0,0.0,0.34578710031818183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gozii55,2019/03/12,"I’m Running Out of Things to Talk About During Therapy. Is This a Good Sign? So I started going to therapy mainly because of a rocky relationship that I wanted to work on. Now things are going well, my life has some problems but overall I don’t have much to complain about. 

Should I stop going? Even my therapist is struggling for things to bring up. I go once a week. Maybe I should spread out the appointments more? What should I do here?",1.8743023255813969,4.4833296860465115,2.857023255813953,89.8966976744186,83.53488372093022,5.765581395348837,22.55348837209302,7.1686216300943375,0.9121060465116284,347,12,68,5,10,110,60,86,0.149,0.809,0.042,-0.8767,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,4,0,10,1,0,0,0,11,18,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,3,1,0,0,0,9,2,14,15,4,14,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,4,53,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571868933744538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538101489983136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4315393650892792,0.1592205121581107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340826394312939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070988712866074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954699254334826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20216290010353408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816418036152284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038065247730372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343627477424631,0.0,0.0,0.15870649423627706,0.0,0.19845167532561406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257827316883793,0.0,0.0,0.4341746101465307,0.22040741975997946,0.3783441232548557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196673290145256,0.0,0.1522702852107105,0.0,0.17068009049473834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819860031763656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,attemptedlyrational,2019/03/12,"Are the 'delusions' I've been having all this time actually delusions? Disclaimer: I'm not suddenly thinking I should believe them all. I know they're problematic, but I don't think I've defined them correctly. I'm trying to not ask for medical advice, just questioning the definition of delusions Vs overvalued ideas.


I suspect they are actually _overvalued ideas_ 

From what I've read, delusions have the following traits:
1. The person will never acceot think of them as delusions
2. They won't be moved by evidence
3. The person will not obsess about them


However, mine violate these in the following ways:
1. I've always come forwards to health professionals saying ""here's as weird thought that I really seem to think is true, but seems strange, but at the same time I suspect it's a delusion.""
2. I clear these 'delusions' by going and looking for evidence, and if I find proof against them they dissipate
3. They grow stronger and stronger until they are the only thing I can think about. I obsess about them so strongly my life is seriously impacted.


So as far as I can tell, my 'delusions' violate most of the criteria for the definition of delusions.


I'd be more confident that these are overvalued ideas if I hadn't been seeing therapists and psychiatrists for the last 6 years all of whom just went along with me calling them delusions, not correcting me.


Slightly related, I suspect repressed memories are at play, so it's possible that I had troubles listening to the health professionals, and they were aware.





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mentalhealth,brockfuture,2019/03/12,"I'm a 15M newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder... and scared out of my mind About a month ago I decided that I wasn't going to sit on my mental health problems any longer, and after creating this reddit account to anonymously get some advice on my situation, I finally spoke to my school counselor and now a psychiatrist. To be honest, I didn't even know if there was anything wrong with me, but I just knew that I was sad and therapy would probably help.

After seeing my psychiatrist, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and prescribed lithium and valproate in an attempt to stabilize my mood. I was totally not expecting this, considering I had no idea what being bipolar even meant. I'm glad I'm diagnosed, but I'm scared. I don't know if the meds will make me numb, make me better, or make me worse. I'm also scared what my family and friends will think of my when they inevitably find out.

This is all so new, and I know that this ""scared"" stage will probably pass, but right now these fears are circling through my head. I'm glad I can reach out to people that have similar experiences as me, and I just wanted to see if you all have any tips for me, especially those of you who were diagnosed as children or teens.",9.52768907563025,6.747194794117651,9.45838655462185,69.64102521008404,61.14285714285714,13.385546218487391,39.76638655462185,11.792908689023552,4.475872605042016,963,38,187,23,10,318,135,238,0.126,0.775,0.098,-0.7906,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,1,2,11,15,0,5,5,0,20,10,1,3,3,47,41,22,0,7,11,0,0,0,1,4,9,1,0,1,13,15,0,0,9,0,1,2,5,9,0,0,11,3,31,5,26,24,4,20,0,1,2,0,8,7,0,6,9,128,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096026986304906,0.09942420178057672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969533011786608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254702468660455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229917155977352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919753196779596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553653276354041,0.0,0.0,0.1285465369471442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816292702498599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971524781636012,0.10573566682057577,0.12621261569100709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286719302453065,0.10251337226069317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665552189315312,0.0,0.05859963626337765,0.0,0.06374383664585577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510982542494752,0.11922218912886465,0.0,0.0,0.07517933755550689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661642577869187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849227083937406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22460556358101869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458589021864445,0.0,0.11303218335553412,0.0,0.11325091293119595,0.0,0.08952605864898074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832605713635217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775850481655655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24185764692049705,0.1073231912950727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578511496799927,0.0,0.0,0.4491720069785203,0.11351319706840325,0.1787560272646941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607397110011914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826619151758178,0.0,0.0,0.07186841536348544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615562527292293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430192018592382,0.0796761508280473,0.12263074550498824,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JustSomeGuy278,2019/03/12,"Looking For Info Look i know a lot of people on here are looking for some serious answers or trying to help others. Me on the other hand I'm here looking for a way to fully embrace my negative emotions and stop trying to look for a way to avoid them, i want to be angry, jealous etc. As weird as it sounds it has been something that has wandered throughout my mind for years, trying to figure out how to do this but unfortunately i haven't had any luck, if someone can give me a link or can tell me where i can go to figure this out it would be much appreciated.

Please don't attempt to say anything positive or how this is unhealthy or try to change my mind as i will just end up ignoring it.",6.76792207792208,5.201207790209793,7.560359640359643,77.24405594405597,65.5034965034965,9.849750249750251,34.414585414585424,8.418075326091056,2.6054123876123882,546,20,112,6,7,184,90,143,0.16899999999999998,0.711,0.121,-0.6814,0,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,6,6,1,1,5,0,16,1,1,2,0,28,26,12,0,3,7,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,10,3,0,3,6,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,8,12,1,24,20,4,12,0,0,5,0,5,6,0,8,3,85,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943502989919416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032710441350025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546820187447941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447850711635842,0.12950806116107086,0.0,0.16307463343123552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026813426195325,0.08310054313798232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980085936515794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035902404935043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6139424350476185,0.0,0.0,0.12431153494971126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29528226949190345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748897376928823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137096108213887,0.0,0.0,0.1605063221381443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628049908453796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389224957125705,0.11256777038103186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222469784913472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780325933491926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970967879852723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624470507408878,0.23212623070735025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387092709432943,0.0,0.0,0.09416127973779373
mentalhealth,stevepwn3,2019/03/12,don't have strong opinions i just go with what smart people say is this normal? i usualyl just take other peoples opinions that i like and say them.  I have no backbone and dont really care about much,4.076666666666668,5.4995540000000025,4.655000000000001,85.4366666666667,71.5,7.333333333333335,25.833333333333336,7.793537801064563,1.4088333333333332,160,5,31,2,3,51,31,40,0.185,0.691,0.124,-0.3709,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,8,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,5,4,2,8,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,22,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239905675186455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724273773344303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805976161709016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524774808620725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335995854462397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31134989315813644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4406073228664586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20357340495227447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5054114004275841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23892561264643195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,boofpacket077,2019/03/12,"Am I a psychopath? So I am a 15 year old kid that lives in the U.S

Now i have wondered if I’m a psychopath for some time. To elaborate about a year ago I’ve found that I typically don’t show any empathy towards others. I don’t want to do harm to others but at points I could see my self doing a multitude of graphic things to a person for a different number of reasons. In which I’m perfectly fine with harming a person. I can either be a very nice charming charismatic person when I want to. I aswell am very good with playing with peoples emotions and I can typically talk my way out of situations. And even so if I was a psychopath I would be perfectly fine with it and I actually find it quite amusing to imagine that.

To add to all this I can typically have very bad mood swings typically about a girl I can’t get very anxious and protective of a girl. And small things can drive me to the point of punching a hole in my wall. ",3.930123555201277,4.598449082901556,5.5461139896373055,81.74231964926268,71.12435233160622,8.840015942606618,30.39019529693105,9.057496981413335,2.4008002391391,735,30,155,14,13,251,104,193,0.077,0.7190000000000001,0.204,0.9757,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,7,13,0,0,15,0,19,0,0,1,3,28,27,11,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,11,11,0,1,5,3,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,1,19,9,28,21,3,19,0,0,1,0,8,10,0,4,7,108,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.14144793661378902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284872908222546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856933007234103,0.0,0.0,0.16374951636357254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102518123005243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572885425274605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143937858169673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304652670386147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573651461517137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324794691728962,0.0,0.0,0.15892754835528525,0.0,0.0,0.07572913206049844,0.0,0.0,0.12157515953621888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799137546535028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520981104388808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048840667907076,0.3796879279629039,0.0,0.0,0.2740446430759949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416960142602792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14903026109955542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155044609363742,0.0,0.1512119458220446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629271615939904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165033804428529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259347312664216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845201040012843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4783877598306148,0.17098768532694847,0.11505264832844694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718947576549885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296660752313007,0.0,0.0,0.18668298831745694
mentalhealth,Rileysticka,2019/03/12,"Effects of negative news stories on our brains As humans, did we evolve to be able to handle the onslaught of negative news stories?

Regularly getting bombarded with negative news in our feeds, in message boards, on TV - you name it.",6.770650406504064,8.708719073170734,7.008292682926832,69.15845528455284,65.58536585365854,10.34471544715447,40.495934959349604,10.504223727775694,5.0164081300813015,186,11,28,5,3,60,31,41,0.226,0.774,0.0,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,7,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,10,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,0,21,5,0,0.6300461302406191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7033398501141335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291730988556768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlackKalle,2019/03/12,"Weird Symptoms after last LSD Trip First of all thanks for taking the time to read through. So the story goes as this. I (21,m) have already tripped multiple times before around three times and want to ask if anyone has experience with these symptoms which I am having since my last LSD trip:

a kind of pressure in your head as if it will explode any second

tinnitus and with it some kind of background noises with which I can't sleep well

a feeling of unwellnes in my brain which, if it is extreme, can disrupt my thoughts and basically leaves me unable to do most stuff

a relatively bad short time memory, e.g. I have to think really hard in order to remember what I ate yesterday or even had as lunch. Also I often forget my wallet or key despite having put it on my table

lack of motivation especially in the morning. Sometimes it's a real fight to get out of bed and do the stuff I planned yesterday.

Problem to concentrate and focus at the task at hand like getting easily distracted

sometimes getting a weird taste in my mouth which goes away when I focus on it

sometimes, especially in the night, getting weird optics like lines drawing through my field of vision or white areas which expand

Insomnia on nights like this, Haha, but this is rather rare.

Beware that I also have moments of clarity in which these symptoms disappear. But these rarely last longer than a few hours in a day.
I know that something is wrong and I have already scheduled and appointment with a Neurologist but I would like to know what Diagnosis I can expect. I have a relatively good life and do not want to throw it away because of some disease.
Again thanks for taking the time to read through. Any input is appreciated!
If it matters on my last Acid Trip I have felt very unwell. Part of it felt like I was dying and other parts of it I felt very unwell and watched. Nothing like the beautiful sweet feeling LSD otherwise gave me.
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mentalhealth,randomblackkiddd,2019/03/12,"I think my brother has psychosis and always has, and now he is addicted to drugs My brother has recently started heroin and he has been thinking drones has been following him around, and back in the day my brother also said he ""was in control"" of everything at a party. ( he was not one drugs) I dont know exactly if its psychosis but I do think the drugs induced or triggered the psychosis. ",4.225200000000001,6.05719972,5.0183333333333335,81.34750000000003,71.8,7.666666666666668,33.83333333333333,8.344100000000001,2.873933333333333,309,16,55,5,6,100,48,75,0.029,0.945,0.026,-0.0644,0,0,3,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,0,12,4,0,3,1,17,19,8,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,1,7,0,6,14,0,10,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,2,5,42,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21097402471700424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15476422686743094,0.16103075257750804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722809004337862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881104314042426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21705804516950908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248095136887414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268133090036307,0.0,0.6732929218235967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739304372800137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635789680904864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113954337183448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910854972782665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18408939216198292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698007481981953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37201467652667936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotaBotjustPerson,2019/03/12,"Confidentiality (Questions) Hello, I have a few questions about Confidentiality, if you could answer me I'd be very thankful :). So I'm only 16 (afew days off 17) so I wanted to know because of that is what a therapist, can/would/must tell my parents different then if I was 18+? I have some stuff that, less then healthy/sane   
(From USA)",0.7324615384615392,3.25717001538462,2.9203846153846165,85.7021153846154,95.0,5.06153846153846,21.884615384615387,6.742157984588678,0.7819538461538467,261,10,52,4,10,88,52,65,0.0,0.93,0.07,0.6115,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,10,6,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,5,7,3,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,5,3,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507095568254206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031060121979205,0.0,0.0,0.16405751384833772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26577856034317177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980354231766035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19347153100276754,0.0,0.0,0.282464840254236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5699396489965421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912103785636925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223440190586627,0.2342038637700133,0.0,0.2953610122737823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20989456521208752,0.15004307752785573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070806264009234,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WhatElseIsOutThere,2019/03/12,"Mentality Podcast Hi r/MentalHealth!
My friend and I have started a podcast about mental health at UIUC. We interview students there and share their stories as truthfully as we can in an attempt to shine a light on mental health in college. Here's all the ways you can access it:

Apple Podcasts: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mentality/id1453311131

Apple Podcasts: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mentality/id1453311131

Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yNTg0NTAucnNz

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/mentality?refid=stpr

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7BLKdRMuR4xNwjsQCAQwsk?si=BmTmzYQtRAqm9gSRTpRKjw&fbclid=IwAR1hiw3ReoaUrnS8bb1Nv6D-F93AFbeLi51KDQrWLPoqdftjuLX77u7_XcE

Alternatively, you can go directly to our host site: http://www.buzzsprout.com/258450

Do note that we're making this on a student budget so only the most recent episode has a proper recording setup, but we hope you find it helpful regardless!",23.698,31.16409827619048,13.22880952380953,18.920357142857142,32.9047619047619,9.533333333333337,38.11904761904762,9.888512548439397,4.987361904761904,889,29,66,14,10,220,81,105,0.0,0.865,0.135,0.9235,0,0,0,0,0,0,68.0,4,3,1,1,4,4,0,0,7,0,6,2,0,1,2,13,10,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,10,4,10,10,2,10,0,0,1,0,13,6,0,2,2,45,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087424167595331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608385860409692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14884534893160314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094906983479974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095680910711259,0.0,0.0,0.12913308334457518,0.0,0.0,0.1913506226794919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859920427004978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5824550266790819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652337374803268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190224303785987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363627262994606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463482274861589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529211611940689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Teh-Voice-of-Reason,2019/03/12,"A Positive Thinking Limerick If things are going badly

Don't work yourself up madly

\  \  \  \  Calm yourself down

\  \  \  \  Turn things around

Toxic thinking is truly what's nasty",15.4375,17.344576638888892,12.735555555555555,35.815,46.5,18.311111111111114,56.88888888888889,15.903189008614273,11.00932222222222,213,14,17,10,2,65,26,36,0.208,0.597,0.195,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9568253427318324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826692919105608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216768604266658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273489870859332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14667108600532527,0.14146176306344113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006825275615188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036231124178099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Filleperdue88,2019/03/12,"Detachment, Impulsiveness So, for the past year I have not felt much emotion period. I have recently been making very bad decisions. I don't know why I am doing the things I am doing, but I feel like I am watching someone else, and I can't stop myself.  I haven’t hurt anyone else in the process and I’m not doing anything illegal. But I’m afraid I might emotionally hurt some people if I don’t stop. I’ve been more worried about it lately because last month I came very close to doing something that I consider terribly immoral. I did stop myself and had a panic attack afterwards. The next day, I felt like it never happened and I forgot a lot of details about it.

I tried an antidepressant and it didn't do anything but make me behave in the same stupid way, only faster. Has anyone felt like this? How did you snap out of it?

I would like to go to a psychiatrist, but I am afraid they will just offer more pills and I am not sure I want to try anymore pills.",3.877282768777612,5.00757376804124,5.142120765832106,82.87721649484537,71.62886597938143,8.017083946980852,26.228276877761417,8.418075326091056,1.6812957290132549,757,24,152,12,14,252,111,194,0.198,0.688,0.115,-0.9647,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,0,5,14,2,3,9,0,26,2,0,3,2,39,40,13,0,3,9,0,4,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,8,9,0,4,6,0,0,2,9,9,0,0,11,5,26,5,12,26,6,22,0,2,1,0,3,4,0,4,19,105,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067037492870004,0.1701580509924153,0.12467193510879045,0.20025875473859728,0.0,0.0,0.13842456432696598,0.0,0.0,0.10159478023421813,0.07417285420875637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916548068944404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784712649958456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032901754404209,0.2737393306099528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061523285386061076,0.08692570321912753,0.3504855130915165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915154888845766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759811139559328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260514381605865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668702125201576,0.099182572963373,0.1372563718129669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377799324094528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344499400203186,0.0,0.0,0.1624399934473475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290795192738148,0.0,0.0,0.09712100725676058,0.0,0.0894462147164921,0.0,0.09384440421502532,0.0,0.12940431924403525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254044769022296,0.0,0.14276113523737916,0.0,0.0,0.11615397027202468,0.08435515228224137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014084704456628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309608854062892,0.09367250059778133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051809623761701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467864452226947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083644815888671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522068876383875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20079168166807373,0.07176794174977599,0.0965811280222306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097940996488405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356837402427352,0.0,0.08643548190926234,0.0,0.0,0.07835566523766377
mentalhealth,AlterEgo002,2019/03/12,I just scheduled to meet with a therapist for the first time After what it feels like a long time feeling like absolute garbage dealing with borderline abusive people having zero motivation to do anything besides what's required of me to exist I am not going to be passive any longer. I will be seeing a professional tomorrow. I can and will get over this.,10.19409090909091,8.600939924242425,9.974848484848485,62.732272727272736,58.84848484848485,12.436363636363636,44.72727272727273,11.20814326018867,5.280672727272727,289,15,45,6,3,95,52,66,0.063,0.777,0.16,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,1,0,9,13,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,5,2,10,9,0,9,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,9,36,9,3,0.0,0.32185691477690564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847290684497904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235420850187394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28005581562122706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274705463146522,0.3881289078160584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310625408564091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192418686197916,0.0,0.15438307744377214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26542570853297776,0.0,0.0,0.24039877774696844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18832561550539875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164672465046901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154027512363529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167987459380697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tuxedomask1995,2019/03/12,"Why I chose youtube as an outlet for my mental health Hi everyone. So last year was the first time in the 17yrs of battling mental health, that I got help. I'm grateful for the free mental health services we have here. However, I found therapy, seeing a nurse psych nurse wasn't fully helping.  Yeah, I had someone to talk to every week but, idk I didn't feel like I was getting better and the meds weren't working either. I used to host a talk show that I based on mental health tbh, I lost it because they didn't like that I always did segments on mental health. That's why I started doing youtube. I didn't do it to get exposure or anything. I did it as an outlet where I can vent, share my story and help others combat their mental well being. My mental health is so bad that I spend a lot of days at the E.R because the pain is really unbearable and I never know what to do about it. Gets me more annoyed when they send me home because ""there's nothing wrong with me"". Talking to a camera makes me feel better in a way, I know weird lol. Anyways, I just thought I'd share that and enjoy your Tuesday.  ",2.5983859649122816,4.30547508888889,3.660421052631581,89.91126315789475,75.8888888888889,5.803508771929827,23.39766081871345,6.339386263674448,0.5473555555555558,865,26,177,6,19,279,131,225,0.14300000000000002,0.7040000000000001,0.153,0.5611,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,1,3,5,10,16,2,0,13,2,18,7,0,2,1,20,34,11,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,0,7,0,1,0,12,6,0,0,6,1,2,1,6,7,1,1,14,3,30,10,19,19,4,19,0,1,1,0,15,7,0,2,12,112,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025513008453846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948127392516552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049813891067988,0.15440896177998673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934848872161874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05445238552039936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113855575030625,0.08067947646049019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538385750505509,0.060319046769162464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718187794201842,0.0,0.09257657180770693,0.0,0.0,0.13233848073578947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752888921917337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.538490829820024,0.0,0.0,0.16978124693645327,0.0,0.08469331621136977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928044830721521,0.06882427217393076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249952737004748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216873814500176,0.07178202994245407,0.0,0.0,0.056359771615727076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378617618345908,0.0,0.5956211711282308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512003696536922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101586786249035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984280601897465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409002674985027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728227505329867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153991921956092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05976220579869785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20359246103697334,0.0,0.0,0.09655664549924277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703047597772441,0.049233638587174125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292311733166511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701909058481434,0.06772716600907229,0.0,0.07591552618020267,0.0,0.15237553879780888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061468326095153625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231437591572957,0.0,0.05437216911763186
mentalhealth,urmumvirgay,2019/03/12,"Slightly worried about introverted behaviour I am an extreme introvert. I have 6 friends that I am very comfortable around but only because I have known them since 5th grade. Any other people I meet I behave almost autistically around. Like today someone new joined my class at school, and they said hi to me. I responded by saying exactly this: ""kill yourself you dumb faggot"". I am not even homophobic, I want everyone to be equal, and I would never wish harm onto someone else. Whenever I see someone I know in public I completely ignore them, unless they are one of the 6 friends I mentioned. I don't understand myself because I just want to be friendly, and on the inside I genuinely want to get along with everyone I know. In primary school I was super friendly, and made friends easily, but now I can't even strike up a conversation properly. I don't know what to do, any advice would be appreciated but this was mainly just a rant. 

",7.424971428571428,7.607058268571428,8.092142857142857,68.21535714285716,63.457142857142856,11.342857142857143,36.35714285714286,11.00357731598739,4.243228571428571,747,33,126,19,10,250,112,175,0.14,0.643,0.21600000000000005,0.9502,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,4,1,8,12,2,0,5,0,17,0,0,1,2,31,29,8,1,6,7,0,0,1,5,2,0,2,0,0,5,8,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,4,3,29,8,19,20,2,12,0,0,1,0,18,8,1,1,5,92,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235493382769453,0.0,0.0,0.1266048719700639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195821080726312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22510521424933255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414535791197845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325631035474358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561895314510228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701624886834612,0.0,0.0,0.24162522625222135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48841098447935605,0.0,0.06605627757413539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398799184971467,0.0,0.20845361053976175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061769014379546024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963442056121765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751329802577376,0.1221102476907778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567460157494976,0.09615836266996547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765305905358092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026719723228772,0.10054498195768524,0.0,0.25591487360695714,0.10075111816373024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458708533745463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213800446999149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984416032111107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162171682382373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043208663285448,0.22372123573315156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539226809209194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839934126685013,0.0,0.179629440410892,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kafaras,2019/03/12,"Talking to Myself I've been having an issue with talking to myself for the past little while. Not full conversations, or anything. Just saying repetitive words/phrases. 

Most of them have been rather negative towards myself.

I thought nothing of it before because I would only do it at home, but then it started coming out more and more out in public. 

I can usually suppress it or replace the words/phrases with sounds (humming, mouth popping, tongue clicking, etc.)

It has been getting worse, and I don't know what it is.
I figured it was tourettes, but according to the internet, it's something that starts in the early years of life (before the age of ten). I've only been experiencing this over the past 6(?) months (that I've noticed). I'm 26 years of age.

Does anyone have an idea of what's going on?   ",4.153453897096281,6.3395330463576185,4.725430463576164,81.87187468160981,72.84105960264901,6.5004584819154365,29.49617931737137,7.321109707123232,1.9011320427916447,634,27,110,7,13,202,96,151,0.059,0.941,0.0,-0.8105,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,8,0,14,2,1,0,0,21,22,8,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,13,7,0,1,4,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,6,4,9,0,20,15,5,26,0,0,1,0,6,10,0,3,14,82,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241064608780675,0.0,0.14406490559405866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671898218057613,0.0,0.297937586251886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080438536711746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153201972509926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524554990804555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914650795176692,0.0,0.09949439039808908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756060865778042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19762889653512655,0.0,0.18272405990470186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621203194183632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236547258711698,0.0,0.1754627375553798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973650000878962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798113643974324,0.1993144988706228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662920954946767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342417820076282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392199970629766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347748314224167,0.0,0.0,0.24782609903655714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28142382373456903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898333533804272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19281114064299976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784078346807336,0.12436229874183695,0.0,0.0,0.2254743175639656
mentalhealth,poaldianu,2019/03/12,"How vivid is your imagination supposed to be? I've recently stumbled upon the term ""aphantasia"" which is pretty much when a person can't imagine things visually. Such as if someone tells them to imagine a big rock for example, they can't see it as a visual image but instead they just think of words that would describe a big rock.

When I first stumbled upon this term I knew I didn't have it. I was like ""wow, people actually can't imagine things visually?"" and I started reading into it. I related to very few posts but nevertheless my diagnosed health anxiety made me question myself (constantly think there is something wrong with me and if I see a new condition I tend to convince myself I have that particular condition).

I started imagining things like crazy, constantly thinking of a tree, an apple, me holding an apple etc. I can ""see"" all of those things but not as if I'm seeing them with my own eyes. More or less like a vague dream. If I imagine a bird for example a particular bird comes to mind visually and its sitting on a tree branch. But it's not like I'm seeing the bird, it's like I'm seeing it with my ""mind"".

But as I can't access others thoughts and know how they think I don't know how normal my visualization is and it has sparked up a little panic for me. How vivid are you supposed to be able to imagine things? Feel like they're directly in front of you and you're seeing them with your eyes? Or is it like a dream state but not exactly so vivid like in my case?

I also noticed that I can imagine objects very easily but sometimes have difficulty recalling ones face accurately. I can recall visually what they look like, but not with 100% accuracy. The more I focus on trying to remember the face in absolute detail the less detail I actually get. I don't know how to describe that really.

So I'm still 95% sure I don't have aphantasia since I can imagine things ""visually"" without having to put words in my brain to describe the thing I'm thinking of. But my mind is making me focus on those 5%. I can't access how others imagine so how will I know if how I imagine is normal?",5.1363479344729335,5.826540245192312,6.360235042735045,76.90513532763535,68.42307692307692,9.528347578347578,31.513176638176642,9.633347757342033,2.934099287749288,1666,67,316,35,27,562,175,416,0.044,0.843,0.113,0.9797,0,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,4,7,1,19,14,0,1,20,0,32,7,5,10,3,82,64,40,0,8,22,0,1,9,0,2,2,0,0,1,27,13,0,1,25,5,0,3,14,2,0,2,5,14,50,12,40,55,11,32,0,0,13,0,14,14,0,8,21,225,77,1,0.08204890306820821,0.0,0.1601357873960255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656144781401939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627671862694558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159371102554577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706778648868811,0.0,0.1773314316198161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327790949838998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150621556907723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041486390684981764,0.05861575274607396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979075503511634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042867165409549435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087214147181825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18036772544839091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607645463005407,0.08223455589458936,0.0,0.0,0.06890041403301524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763665594261948,0.05476827991820279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24853800775746826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060315384422917825,0.0,0.0,0.07924334186235196,0.0,0.0,0.16078100875045612,0.0,0.093413219959623,0.0,0.0,0.055598460161319314,0.0,0.0,0.09626670932679553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056882378467146624,0.07164193738543582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858016872769903,0.0834732315334737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248180964264024,0.09191354920998916,0.0,0.08207110666663069,0.0,0.05256262828773104,0.0,0.0810133933264356,0.0,0.0929454126985246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45767646986649796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787170048799124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951976931093856,0.06316525412862947,0.08114846311947695,0.0,0.1161492717901285,0.0,0.06552435997715989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733012013290361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171435773340679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815675177623005,0.2628681204830366,0.0,0.0651376640847486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570581935186567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539787577507195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909221463581881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058285186641621765,0.0897075952524981,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hahabyeeee,2019/03/12,Experience with low dose Seroquel? The psychiatrist prescribed me Seroquel yesterday to help with insomnia and mood. I do not have bipolar but he thought that it would help with my sleep and possibly help decrease anxiety and irritability. He gave me 25mg to take at night and every few nights gradually increase to 100mg and if it works we could add 25mg in the morning to help with anxiety and mood. I have a terrible fear of weight gain. He told me that it typically only causes weight gain in people who take high doses (when prescribed for schizophrenia or bipolar). I also take Wellbutrin which he said suppresses appetite (I take adderall xr too) so I shouldn’t worry about that. But obviously I’m still worried. I’ve lost 7lbs last month and I don’t want to gain it back + more. If anyone has experience with 75-100mg dose please share with me. I am going into this optimistic but a bit anxious (as usual). ,3.821982758620688,6.214451471264368,4.7914798850574725,80.07963362068966,74.51724137931033,7.798275862068966,28.69109195402299,8.660442795831766,2.422667816091954,732,31,133,15,16,238,110,174,0.146,0.6579999999999999,0.196,0.9036,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,5,7,7,0,1,4,0,9,9,1,1,1,31,21,17,0,6,7,0,2,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,10,16,2,1,1,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,5,3,13,1,19,13,4,17,0,2,0,0,14,6,0,3,9,77,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501634512718833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009184766158442,0.14835392256884564,0.0,0.09182181247828247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100976770804781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143367139778774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490154216310196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484812330482372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064254102979977,0.0,0.0,0.2569117994271781,0.0,0.14777121162712453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074632032014774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35208340272733624,0.13874651063154933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704311153825273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335100402750767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481816010492137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464693520645491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998745764294952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104056997905068,0.0,0.0,0.14414963512930976,0.0,0.14804327075360926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249151404871941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13141457315803676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487211049514282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949443929603998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425320152188293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548163496423134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446301360679509,0.0,0.07745578244304141,0.0,0.0,0.31982412047381364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560233153857456,0.26672313185836544,0.0,0.09328577243395947,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blambett,2019/03/12,"[UK] What to expect at my first Psychiatrist appointment? I've had undiagnosed/untreated mental health problems for going on 10 years, and I've only gotten some help now since I had some social services involvement when I presented at A&E with suicidal thoughts.

I was referred to the primary care mental health team who after 2 sessions referred me to secondary care (community mental health team and psychiatrist).

My first psychiatrist appointment is tomorrow and I'm quite anxious and don't know what to expect. What kind of things would he ask? How long would it go on for? Will I be prescribed meds straight away? 

Any experiences would be great. Thank you.",5.809192789968655,8.815914198275868,5.714106583072102,72.87791536050156,70.8103448275862,9.045768025078367,32.09717868338558,9.573946990214177,3.679062068965518,541,25,83,14,11,169,80,116,0.076,0.7759999999999999,0.14800000000000002,0.8429,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,5,3,6,0,0,1,0,11,3,0,1,0,18,21,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,2,0,2,1,1,0,2,5,0,8,5,14,10,2,17,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,2,9,51,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520658578256524,0.0,0.0954407362774521,0.0,0.0,0.15855210130114747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312054494712963,0.0,0.1318605761143558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861861310476439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372862440807216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23875808188215406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952480791096893,0.0,0.0,0.15473300391249234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4475467234229578,0.0,0.0,0.09407159980851136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461497475417367,0.07713101137076883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420263113385645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15589381853467746,0.0,0.4243101361562293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674017703920116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429307346886635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927625318040244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609644439610292,0.0,0.0,0.14306603758244246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351678016838416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292126120701374,0.0,0.0,0.09324027496153324,0.0,0.0,0.11141979856310008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990953319897787,0.0,0.0,0.09037883204855347
mentalhealth,dauvoire,2019/03/12,"It gets better. Last year this time my depression was rocketing. I was slowly trying to come off my medication and I had little to no support. Fast forward a year, I’m 3 medications down, married my best friend and I feel a whole lot less shittier.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but life somehow does get better man. Peace and happiness want you. With all your baggage and in all your flawed, imperfect glory. Stay hopeful and stay prayed up. Your patience to persevere is unmatched. ",2.6157312252964435,5.459218913043479,3.5761660079051403,84.31982213438734,82.69565217391305,6.8237154150197625,25.75494071146245,8.00094639256281,1.973617391304348,388,16,70,8,11,124,70,92,0.091,0.615,0.294,0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,0,4,1,9,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,0,2,17,16,6,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,4,7,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,2,11,8,9,13,6,14,1,1,0,0,8,6,0,3,6,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932099745013319,0.3256571074375225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585927293439116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857194000562153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111414069340405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309053039292267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224137457560254,0.0,0.19237764956307432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598637635072289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20750308266706455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828607732199647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118093518457133,0.15007258251827682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004091641262108,0.0,0.1845245705509157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156522027354599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709388568733015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651374003477892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924692370217645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089235626315667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073548481686286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249972384634258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859166120229136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055499933602513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371190156862789
mentalhealth,ilovedogs5,2019/03/12,"Help. Boyfriend suffers from anxiety and depression. F(29) M(33) Hi everyone. I have recently entered a relationship in which my boyfriend suffers from really bad anxiety and depression. I have had phases with depression in the past but was never diagnosed so I am familiar how it may work in that regard. He sees a therapist every two weeks regularly and was recently prescribed meds. I have no problem with this whatsoever because he is such an amazing person and I want to be there to support him as best I can. 

​

This relationship is long distance and we've never met. We do video calls and sleep overs via discord and I worry a lot because a lot of times sometimes when I go to sleep and wake up in the morning he is still up. Can someone please help me know how to help him? Sometimes when things happen and I feel hurt, he gets really down about it and is just so hard on himself. He'll be able to hang around me but doesn't want to talk. I sucks and it hurts me because I feel helpless. ",4.075757772020726,6.057872777202076,4.888468264248704,81.4993345207254,72.52331606217616,8.348316062176165,30.71534974093264,9.017664075816787,2.7410209844559583,798,36,149,17,16,258,117,193,0.213,0.657,0.129,-0.9427,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,2,12,14,1,0,7,0,18,4,3,2,2,31,31,20,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,8,15,0,0,3,1,0,3,4,11,0,1,4,4,19,3,23,23,3,24,0,8,1,0,19,10,1,3,11,105,27,1,0.1149616782174456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456093031812047,0.13969102221692772,0.0,0.0,0.17589073834479055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234026690468513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598819935905993,0.21023871601690627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064518871729744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738872694618872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970489749810659,0.11668368346639175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686017215472256,0.10985081011125704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625615743735887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006273200032749,0.0,0.06533537102388849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166023238091444,0.0,0.10298308290798697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23116916886294156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461377084515176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317993184068815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017374675893993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19547261550391035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769650824439008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733106680790056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109743930043585,0.0,0.10038010314083193,0.0,0.1261934003387074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100028001403209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472947896562123,0.0,0.2270215763190564,0.24685163839699065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160957340064987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23008940433315814,0.0,0.09740665688889508,0.0,0.22740007863910836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180854472650574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045715008363462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240184228020863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347936908102884,0.07637543074029023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703507906591916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230085503326233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561475273405155,0.0,0.09221532388450232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369347092927977,0.11674916460247345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969102221692772,0.0
mentalhealth,Run_Tiger_Run,2019/03/12,Feeling down vs. Depression How do I know if I’ve been feeling down or I’m actually depressed?,2.407894736842106,4.913615315789475,4.883421052631579,76.97144736842105,80.05263157894737,8.010526315789475,35.8157894736842,8.841846274778883,3.7539263157894736,77,5,14,2,2,27,15,19,0.318,0.545,0.136,-0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,6,3,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,5,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.4261292072463763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7522104828307036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4415893052159433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399836948004495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,riplogster,2019/03/12,I need help I don't feel happiness and idk what is going on. I had severe depression when I was younger and I've been clear of that for w while but recently I've noticed that after that part I haven't been really happy. I think it's a loss of dopeimene. Like I don't think my brain produces that at all. and I just need help. ,-0.00996478873239326,2.0660074929577483,1.9980105633802843,96.54518485915493,86.74647887323944,5.803521126760564,18.734154929577464,7.1686216300943375,0.16833661971831004,256,7,61,4,8,85,48,71,0.208,0.643,0.149,-0.4826,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,1,0,8,1,1,1,2,13,14,6,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,1,9,3,6,10,2,7,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,39,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623415356903241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20240810026831588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882478961368212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355785856639069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5003310183909548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150356759395381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481079995002245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485041146621878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675529499088719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544858016566868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054920769699065,0.0,0.2320375250524984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654869721930773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30116140350428844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadboiz7,2019/03/12,"My brain wont let me do anything I went a month between therapy appointments, and I was doing really good. I was supposed to have a psychiatrist appointment yesterday but was given the wrong time on the appointment card. I was on the waiting list since July. As soon as they said my appointment was at 10 when I was given a card that said 11, I had a fucking meltdown in the doctors office. I drove 40 minutes to an appointment I missed.

I was able to be fit in on Thursday, but I have no medication left. I've been off my meds for a few days because I can't get another refill til I see a psychiatrist. I had a fucking episode yesterday where I wanted to kill myself and had the mobile crisis unit come to my house. I calmed down and had a therapy appointment today. Now I'm at the gym and my brain literally won't let me do anything. I'm so upset and frustrated with my entire existence.

Mentally I'm not available today and I don't even know how I'm going to last until Thursday. My mind is so all over the place and I can't focus on anything. I just want to sleep for the rest of the day but I'm at the gym trying to work out. I'm so mad and irritated right now.",3.1133333333333333,4.220316074074076,5.262654320987653,81.37694444444449,73.44444444444444,8.692181069958847,27.90329218106996,9.150863307647796,2.2861094650205755,918,35,190,20,18,321,129,243,0.171,0.7879999999999999,0.042,-0.9894,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,1,1,11,10,5,1,19,0,26,7,3,1,1,23,49,20,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,11,0,1,1,2,0,4,7,8,0,0,18,3,29,2,30,26,3,39,0,1,1,2,3,18,2,0,17,132,30,2,0.13160408130813925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799835402281793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248968365664539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022462646052149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938273576454622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336526302522705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974749021949118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347023537612869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692325451637463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24333170505892185,0.06875770072535838,0.0,0.07479363222465943,0.11038325948792098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185344032740652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145600417200624,0.0,0.07232616134289215,0.10727489122888137,0.0,0.0,0.14298821940963824,0.2691481791737578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618246631693607,0.13257726646638746,0.13262596034833626,0.0,0.13288260601479646,0.0,0.1050451221239832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749825446614286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430894440109082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123891663646673,0.2503712367108366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487141396474092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886425601714428,0.0,0.1316991242017513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010014727705428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673939814276304,0.0,0.2494905620375833,0.0,0.0,0.08935053248944727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524699379942547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199830185751552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580933858936892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438884033556553,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cherrybomb004,2019/03/12,"Progress! I learned how to cry alone...quietly. 

I wiped it off and went around like nothing happened

I'm tired of being called a drama queen when I show emotions, so I'll hide them from now on and suffer in silence....

But I'm super proud that I did that and needed to share",1.1514880952380968,3.3935635535714286,2.1678571428571445,96.14380952380957,83.10714285714286,4.447619047619049,21.833333333333336,5.46131890053228,-0.033752380952380534,213,7,46,1,6,67,45,56,0.135,0.596,0.27,0.8234,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,4,5,5,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,8,7,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,4,8,4,0,7,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,27,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970910139605961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407762845534477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665874241226869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754020376343578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951168922164794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304392747686322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474570320087691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320223538372482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38357426317728205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30937163570034665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,priz24601,2019/03/12,"Hopelessness I have been in a very bad mental state since last summer that just gets worse and worse. I've been going to therapy, to the psych ward twice, went to a month long treatment program, regular psychiatry appointments. I've been on tons of meds. Prozac, zoloft, wellbutrin, mirtazipine, venlafaxine, gabapentin, zyprexa, seroquel, lexapro... currently on abilify and lamictal. I've quit 3 jobs because I can't handle a day without crying and panicking. My family is toxic. My boyfriend broke up with me because of this. I am feeling so lost and dont know what to do anymore. I can't sleep or eat. I've lost 20 pounds. I can't find a job even with a bachelors. I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. Its beyond just depression, I am starting to feel crazy to the point where I just wander. I wish I could die, but I'm too scared to kill myself... I have no motivation to live and nothing good in my life...",3.754704761904758,5.8209312514285765,4.46857142857143,83.80476190476192,73.62857142857143,8.323809523809524,29.380952380952376,9.029198982220553,2.5637238095238097,719,31,138,16,15,230,115,175,0.22,0.715,0.065,-0.9791,3,0,0,0,0,2,35.0,0,0,0,4,8,10,1,1,7,0,16,5,1,1,0,21,27,8,2,2,6,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,7,1,0,6,0,0,2,7,8,0,1,6,2,16,2,20,20,1,18,0,5,0,0,0,8,0,1,7,82,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281613712842651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854808309038688,0.17310042235475434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336015935254855,0.0,0.15595930192820398,0.09156590546767143,0.0,0.1222879020654181,0.0,0.14735371124298727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640050423423478,0.0,0.0,0.14528185986849676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377701544449453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384691379369024,0.0,0.14357957231908733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976792895211967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417913651214256,0.0,0.08069099164896598,0.1190868046463034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602791029333905,0.0,0.0,0.281788180474221,0.0,0.15708077945902985,0.0,0.07802896459676052,0.11573334647383902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028527651361313,0.0,0.0,0.12537169586779787,0.12564858849032345,0.0,0.0,0.3099777496762973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770872222617013,0.0,0.143083307236085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332776360707808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623445928368108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421779991427654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101411569153886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214760426728035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174480301580284,0.0,0.14208339152749366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100494779694327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236748104905216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714907452611464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161767470797067,0.0,0.0,0.16327097588127276,0.13686447728617726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893812413088501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,veganldk1990,2019/03/12,"This is an amazing way to combat mental health and improve it naturally Tune in tonight to find out how to improve mental health and physical wellbeing naturally 

https://youtu.be/Hc-ljGEd31w",19.381034482758626,16.0250091724138,14.844137931034483,40.289655172413795,43.48275862068966,18.49655172413793,60.03448275862069,15.903189008614273,9.305524137931037,162,9,18,5,1,47,22,29,0.065,0.6759999999999999,0.259,0.802,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,12,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883461016207785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6706881786033021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6358661062357862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504160292441848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,johnlivano,2019/03/12,"I’ve had really annoying mood swings for the past two days Hey Reddit,
I’m a 17 year old male in high school and these past two days have really been wild. On Friday, I noticed that some people who I used to have a decent relationship didn’t really seem to reciprocate the same energy and didn’t seem as enthusiastic to see me today or talk to me when I tried to start a conversation. I wasnt able to tell if someone said something about me which was untrue, and tried to ask a few of my friends if it was anything personal and they said no, but still proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the day when I thought there wasn’t any hard feelings. Suspicious, but I can’t remember if I did anything and neither can any of the friends who did still talk to me. This week though, I decided to forget about those who I lost and who won’t respond when I try to talk to them and cherish those who were still my friends. But I can’t tell if I’ve developed anxiety or not, because these past two days I’ve been having a good day until about 11am-1 pm, then all of a sudden I become uncontrollably pessimistic and can’t even catch my breath with how anxious I become. I start feeling like I can’t be the same funny joyous person I used to be and Im becoming more distant from my friends or people who aren’t unclear with me. I tried talking to my friends about how I’ve been feeling today but I felt like I was being ignored or they didn’t really care. But I can’t tell if my newfound anxiety has been making this worse than it actually is and I just have a hard time projecting myself and being clear. I’ll start wanting to bawl my eyes out, but then after a while no tears will come out and I’ll come back to my senses and be happy and everything will seem fine again. after I stopped feeling that way today and I looked back on it I was wondering why I was feeling so pessimistic over it when it didn’t seem like it was worth getting myself down over. I don’t think it’s bipolar since it’s only been this week and I haven’t had any manic highs I just get anxious and pessimistic then I’m fine. How do I make this stop? I’m afraid this kind of thing will keep happening and I just want to go back to how things were before.  ",5.437023411371238,5.023692695652176,6.059999999999999,83.1273076923077,67.69565217391305,9.250836120401338,29.431438127090306,8.730908602173464,1.977371237458193,1760,54,377,25,26,575,203,460,0.127,0.7140000000000001,0.159,0.9604,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,1,26,22,1,2,14,0,48,3,2,8,2,80,87,49,0,7,19,0,8,3,5,4,1,2,0,3,28,24,0,5,15,0,1,4,19,6,0,3,28,13,49,15,45,50,8,56,0,1,3,0,31,10,0,16,44,257,77,2,0.06923159379382562,0.0,0.0675600487653062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123957349693295,0.0,0.10592395951414267,0.15642398999463106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394340555645854,0.0,0.06472219461903338,0.0,0.0,0.15970446664860422,0.0,0.04220293699229461,0.22938256828560086,0.058910987170721185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705862239166597,0.0,0.0,0.11927377573825013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22324325305081527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045726814762110136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062220892422952624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750278699940047,0.04945906443943555,0.06647318700577985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26744078814357963,0.0,0.0723413006572318,0.0,0.03934591019573616,0.058068176203541225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122126975103034,0.07369831894978296,0.12403581913681005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629395984287336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747820014984735,0.0,0.0,0.06153622156353896,0.0,0.0720940512915833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146917911435384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813710236436295,0.0,0.07557446285019269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242525289902956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882062839818453,0.07264691167902118,0.0,0.0,0.05265374677530152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19826816998299152,0.0959929401320672,0.12090071462742097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774061270424008,0.0,0.0,0.07432882253387008,0.07842589987576612,0.0,0.1317101991467675,0.0,0.0,0.07006606901774347,0.05516861680901414,0.2521033713323204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05726908980580257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058659704756494915,0.05329786325213502,0.0,0.0,0.14700743526098242,0.0,0.1658653207015338,0.1157614247943993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22258293058125425,0.1815343934454652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198878928748684,0.04436080985384812,0.0680196893944326,0.05496215222822794,0.04036949908690901,0.0,0.19687036763628435,0.0,0.0,0.1880148308193496,0.0,0.20288762217762102,0.0,0.0,0.1195877372874944,0.0,0.0,0.08166917549668473,0.05495281668809976,0.11106681711208903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06247074511336136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507871024733463,0.0,0.0,0.07055290869643549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044582876556259976
mentalhealth,yunghunnybee,2019/03/12,"cannot control my emotions!!! please help I have always had trouble with outbursts. whether i be happy, sad, angry every emotion i have is very strong, so to speak. i never feel that i’m at a neutral level. 
recently in this past month i have not been able to stop myself from crying several times a day over the most random things or small things that shouldn’t even inhibit that kind of reaction. 
i’ll have a few great days in between where i feel like i’m on top of the world, i’m unstoppable, i accomplish so much. then i’m back to this emotional mess and i am conscious of it, i don’t want to cry, i don’t want to feel like i am in a pit of despair over a stomach ache or my boyfriends instagram story. it’s ridiculous. 
it is destroying my relationship with the best person i’ve ever come across and i can feel it. it puts so much stress on him, and when i actually have bigger issues to cry about or feel sad it seems like nothing because i cry ALL THE TIME. 
he is so patient but he shouldn’t have to be. i feel crazy, and sometimes i raise my voice because i’m filled with so much emotion and i don’t want to ever do that.
i want it to stop but i don’t know how. i am open to therapy, medication, anything. i just don’t know how to get connected to those things. please help me.",1.7982587064676598,3.577090343283583,3.382910447761194,90.6978482587065,78.40298507462687,6.556218905472638,23.85323383084577,7.492282038375204,0.9518054726368159,1004,34,221,14,24,332,136,268,0.149,0.718,0.133,-0.6421,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,5,15,16,2,1,9,0,26,2,1,3,4,45,46,20,0,6,8,0,6,3,0,2,1,2,0,1,17,10,0,3,10,0,0,3,10,8,0,0,2,8,28,8,31,40,7,34,0,3,0,0,8,16,0,6,18,146,45,1,0.09404314793483473,0.0,0.09177254649721757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825143272128965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738949775485715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231337582480074,0.0,0.11465566020826852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869248175645634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100984479645858,0.0,0.0,0.10547738706009677,0.0,0.0,0.4132079283215632,0.12130010084490613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42314353426011775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211461226890645,0.17013482275777253,0.07923540818280976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853062476576963,0.13436888735071076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049133663308161095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368290259963256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011067970186167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607027943248042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815661326707237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793146682462477,0.10336730932838728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783419533421834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473857770339056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506434345761863,0.0,0.20739760342617186,0.0,0.07253187326351472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023693680119964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977482590779404,0.0,0.08211484936338273,0.0,0.20646227161029654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453933856626133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285626313574694,0.1009671462163887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561334986625145,0.0,0.1062419888485519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301107798461768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15724856529386802,0.10772610822072334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075465356050952,0.0,0.1874342661763405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967463167152873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759544604144296,0.2218763409036432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Maybegaythrwaway,2019/03/12,"I can’t shake the feeling that everyone that is a part of my life are only there out of pity or obligation. I can’t really fathom why anybody would want to be in my life unless they feel bad for me or because they have to. I’m awkward, incompetent, oafish, and on the whole not worth as much as most other people. I’m innocuous enough in my interactions with others and quiet so as not to be in the way, but it’s getting very hard for me and I’m thinking about it more often and I don’t think it’s something that’s going to get better. My parents and siblings tolerate me because I’m their son/brother and everyone I call a friend just likely feels bad when they look at me so they’ll say hi and sometimes have a conversation with me. My closer friends from high school, they’re good people and will  hang out with me, but I know things would be okay without my presence and they feel enough pity for me that they won’t turn me away. I don’t know how much longer I can do this and sometimes I feel like I’m not supposed to be here as I just don’t have it together like others do and I don’t have things about me like others do that make them worthwhile as friends, siblings, sons/daughters, and lifelong partners.",4.084701176470585,4.859966415999999,4.7300941176470594,87.3429294117647,70.84,7.48235294117647,27.50588235294118,7.5105763829236425,1.3496635294117652,964,32,204,10,17,309,127,250,0.077,0.774,0.149,0.9699,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,8,1,11,16,0,2,6,1,25,2,0,2,0,44,46,26,0,3,11,1,6,4,4,5,2,2,0,1,16,17,0,0,9,0,1,3,11,6,0,0,0,9,33,10,31,37,8,15,0,2,1,0,18,10,0,4,5,146,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717769234891635,0.0,0.20827046444628228,0.1520552016525848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103039016030314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735213726838665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25773632291122417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23834887407451336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153086012902364,0.08909934417905142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890729830868615,0.0,0.1303211558623751,0.0,0.07088073408385631,0.10460845703510377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172380902325996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177256815399296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708470245308962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618556599257018,0.24372579400611105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473262589667848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832509623081387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18336576582987935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948544894534756,0.0,0.0,0.13848579205428332,0.1350586227494654,0.0,0.1729290294615153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989824389106351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918162774296096,0.0,0.12622237944532266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601485017423007,0.2467007419116567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571564566039268,0.15982991631673402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356585580069852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290631246396144,0.07356255176752298,0.09899620996060232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253958163307104,0.13924441213961672,0.0,0.120224753988035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771937290516138,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,supremegreek,2019/03/12,"Dermatillomania distractions? I’ve been on meds that help my dermatillomania for a few years and I’ve absolutely seen a difference in the amount I pick at my body, but I still pick in class or literally anywhere when my hands aren’t occupied, not out of boredom but rather subconsciously, and I can’t stop. Does anyone have any toys or gadgets they can recommend that I can hold in class to stop myself from touching my fingers, scalp, back, etc and stop picking?

My school would be relatively understanding about it so it doesn’t need to be incredibly discreet. Anything would help!!",7.114258760107816,8.427297056603777,7.013827493261457,71.74801886792453,64.28301886792453,10.58544474393531,34.01078167115903,10.608840637214634,3.703300808625337,472,20,84,12,7,150,74,106,0.091,0.799,0.11,0.4831,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,1,3,0,11,4,4,3,0,21,14,9,0,4,6,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,4,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,4,11,0,12,8,3,13,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,2,7,56,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630222957848188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504305325511515,0.0,0.1770414679038633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654289868330739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23897147191764564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22477497530135968,0.0,0.0,0.18827001612281055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23993739915269785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28840692829506986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23897147191764564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952320464683584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21773264803829764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718106733656433,0.5395987369033342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223967794755162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056578398516174,0.0,0.0,0.1385427769224615
mentalhealth,markdelfmark,2019/03/12,"Our experience with mental health Hi,

I recently wrote an article about our experience with mental health. This is a reality we live through on a daily basis and I'm sure there's many out there going through the same stuff. We took the decision to write this article during a moment of feeling helpless in the face of this condition. 

It has been well received and got a lot of friends reaching out to us - opening up about their situation and seems some have been encouraged to get much needed help. Hoping it can have a similar impact here. 

https://www.maltatoday.com.mt/comment/blogs/93413/accepting_helplessness_and_doing_something_about_it#.XIf5Lbdw1-E


Best,
Mark",8.900799584631365,12.153886971962619,7.353208722741433,63.51917964693666,62.45794392523364,9.615368639667706,33.38421599169263,9.994966539143718,3.8679624091381104,554,23,78,13,9,166,78,107,0.027000000000000003,0.768,0.205,0.9517,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,5,0,1,1,6,7,0,0,9,0,7,3,1,0,1,21,17,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,6,10,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,5,1,7,6,17,12,5,11,0,1,0,0,13,6,0,4,2,58,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351012237315907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.360745420627149,0.0,0.0,0.09323514468965767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246234373609665,0.0,0.09633825221729067,0.0,0.10479535716715843,0.0,0.14747672314310087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39200438973960505,0.0,0.0,0.12359540851753735,0.0,0.0,0.18314484381240848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282327653469356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567651812265759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18694656994615366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716515556456403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555080354866358,0.1367258114283618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820668253824427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678653684105031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072665770703646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108700929935287,0.0,0.0,0.17378915881611956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048685140545589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22180327309811004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579234704132792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Phaedra1102,2019/03/12,"Best Treatments for Anxiety that do Not Involve Meds ​

What are the best treatments for generalized anxiety disorder & social anxiety disorder that don't involve medications? Or, if there are medications, what are some that actually work? (I don't want benzos--been there, done that, have the car accident to prove it. I'm also not comfortable taking xanax, given its addictive nature.)   


I'm in talk therapy with a counselor at my school. I'm trying to reduce caffeine (not easy, since it is my own great addiction), get a little more exercise. I'm taking CBD, trace amounts of Lithium, and occasionally L-Theanine. 

​

I've gone on medication before and did not like it at all. I really need some good advice I can get to get me through this time. My father passed away a few months ago and I'm in a high-pressure graduate program. I am completely obsessed with what other people think of me, I feel I am not able to hide my neuroticism and that other people ""think I'm crazy"", and I'm just needing all the good advice I can get right now. Please and thank you. ",5.309174917491749,6.976933415841585,6.193683168316832,74.64257095709574,68.8019801980198,9.545082508250827,31.288448844884485,9.888512548439397,3.287715775577558,858,36,149,21,15,283,121,202,0.112,0.754,0.135,0.8714,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,3,5,10,0,2,7,0,14,7,0,0,3,28,36,9,0,4,8,1,1,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,15,8,0,0,4,1,0,3,7,2,0,0,4,1,14,8,17,32,10,15,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,4,5,94,29,4,0.10390611447685894,0.0,0.10139737909220492,0.2265460037966225,0.0,0.20307170500521865,0.09210650114753582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830936822068989,0.0,0.3377466948724817,0.2525146043607234,0.0,0.0,0.2384636795137654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976232149311388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841645037285911,0.0,0.21808611329126254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108943584132431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23817081838814266,0.0,0.0,0.1063320305422328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052538053508916285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714662498974768,0.0,0.0,0.17430303806195707,0.0,0.11455685803154488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097825147863509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050763279032822385,0.1041412238215247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541626922703753,0.31402343657331955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293686925327277,0.0,0.0,0.15409013458998996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407083355666425,0.0,0.0,0.11405771127502567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656491760199758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873525402987349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515853513328248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859522116314176,0.0,0.0,0.1059191985036125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562489336221994,0.08351579892283653,0.0,0.0956627899835451,0.11882569741195728,0.0,0.0,0.1331576852235113,0.0,0.0,0.060588490942294564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054543115330135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061286518433048234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564488885500402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525146043607234,0.0
mentalhealth,foliefortuna,2019/03/12,"I was diagnosed with PTSD from a psych ward (and no I did not self diagnose) Am I alone here, is this normal? It completely ruined my life, I went from having my future ahead of me to procuring means for a painless suicide.  I don't feel like spending too much time justifying myself so I will just say that it is something my family feels awful over. On top of it I now have permanent physical damage on my scalp due to what happened. I guess using violence tends to have violent consequences? 

How do people expect using force to take someone and lock them away against their will not be a traumatizing experience. It's beyond me. As far as i'm concerned I was kidnapped and the perpetrators have no right to say what they did or did not do to me. 

Was anyone else traumatized by a psych ward? ",4.8075974025974055,6.101573915584417,5.80766233766234,78.36006493506494,69.58441558441558,9.236363636363636,28.935064935064936,9.573946990214177,2.6563844155844163,629,23,118,14,11,208,105,154,0.217,0.743,0.04,-0.982,0,1,1,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,3,2,7,4,1,0,5,1,19,4,1,3,0,18,30,8,1,2,5,0,2,1,0,2,3,2,0,1,8,4,0,0,3,0,1,1,6,3,0,0,7,4,20,1,22,20,1,14,0,2,0,0,6,8,0,2,6,90,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18406644083965631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242673863666604,0.1820972377020686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697571187787913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18633818326790155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607682700634493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484639641125592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17384626255946606,0.1675405275186286,0.0,0.17972321217893472,0.12696466472346313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957808695365281,0.0,0.15715901778535482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553033651071266,0.08682601428092569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935914084117412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064615230818605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412987050029086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321008896773294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077475604986988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15177365568992873,0.0,0.2826634074389308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540285305965015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058331231286648,0.13681911324001456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19439907218049127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362486033741752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363115385855948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30698957090741114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475011657973845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Callmeroll,2019/03/12,"I'm struggling with reality, I can't believe anything is going on if I'm not observing it Hey guys, I'm from New York, 20yrs in college. I've struggled with depression for most of my teenage years, have social anxiety, and struggle to grip the concept of reality. When I read history and see the massive lands and empires that people controlled and held it just seems impossible to me. If I try and think about what my friends are doing right now I can't believe that they're real unless I'm talking to them. If my friend is on FaceTime I can't believe that there is actually a person in their homes miles away speaking and interacting with them through their phone. Other nations and far away lands don't seem real. I'm a physics major here at school, taking some space exploration classes, I can't believe that there are currently rovers on Mars as we speak... when I see people in class it's as if Im watching them on TV, they're not actually there. I look at my snapchat memories from 2016/2017 and can't grasp the fact that these things actually happened and I actually observed them, simply because it's not right now and it's not right in front of me. I wish I had more time to explain these thoughts, I'm not sure what's going on with me, just wanted to see if you guys could offer some insight or advice.",6.2759358974359,6.260404465384612,6.555384615384617,78.93628205128206,65.88461538461539,9.241025641025642,35.02564102564102,8.841846274778883,2.8684794871794863,1051,46,204,15,15,339,139,260,0.061,0.894,0.045,-0.4519,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,6,1,11,7,0,3,5,0,15,0,0,1,2,49,37,21,0,8,14,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,3,16,15,0,2,8,2,0,4,11,4,0,0,3,8,26,3,33,33,5,34,0,1,5,0,22,22,0,11,8,130,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.3916638725835089,0.0,0.0,0.0980496871646881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675872971688917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257009188711764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18854277475561226,0.0,0.0,0.06116545961290135,0.0,0.0,0.4521888234073496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253823573262106,0.08011218175285903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642146140579106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504265714042875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140494407509857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870191462887246,0.08872906411918385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064776459524097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083828713926223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425912602546601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690761401607212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912425819661842,0.0876117671509994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036572082657587,0.2284145140950951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25706576594364944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154798741902757,0.23987054293975915,0.1826889273170573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228253392314622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146869706632669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945679126793138,0.0,0.07544211568558537,0.08064834002829377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666048594000411,0.06429290274291917,0.0,0.07965761489461279,0.05850822577689841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812330112953438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591822869623205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153844010935851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461474792445766
mentalhealth,Lunggisti,2019/03/12,"What should I/we do with my little brother? So where should I start. Well, lets say my little brothers name is Tom.
 Tom is 12 years old and Im 5 years older than him (17), big boy for hes age.
 Tom and I have lost our parents when we were just little bit younger. Dad went when he was 4-5years old, and I think he knows why. Drug related debts. Mom just 3years ago, so he was 6 then. She was addicted to bubrenorphine. I knew this before she told us this but Tom didnt.
 One day it got too much and she told this for us and went to rehab, before this we saw lot of Mom nodding in different places and lot of side effects from the drug(s). We just laughed at her cuz we were young as fuck and didnt know what was going on. I started to smoke weed when I was 11yr old and it got to daily stuff when I was like 13 and lasted for almost 3years and I think my brother have known about this. 
When our parents passed away, we went to foster family in 2015 and its pretty nice. Pretty normal family overall. 

Just small backround info to understand the past.

So last year october I went to Child caring institution cause I was skipping school alot, and now Im here and Tom is at the same Family where we went then.
They moved to different city and he dosent really have friends there, so he have been playing video games for long time straight from morning to 2-3am and sometimes skips the school. 

Here is the thing we are worried about. 

Video games 24/7 and BAD social anxiety. 

Tom barrely can go buy stuff from the grocery store cause the anxiety. And I am really the only person he can talk with, so therapist wont really help and doctors probably start giving him some benzos or some like that.  What the fuck should I do. Tbh, im like father to him, from what I have noticed.

He get only A's and B's from the school and is over all a fucking Ainstein and Elon musk combined. 

Tldr; Little brother just only plays video games and has really bad anxiety from very traumatazing Child hood, what should we do. ",2.359093482509941,4.40208279301746,3.1439886769562584,91.82511828536768,77.67830423940148,6.330147603963066,21.06227674058098,7.329194593529364,0.5372610500775088,1564,41,330,20,37,493,207,401,0.08,0.812,0.108,0.9055,5,0,3,0,0,0,47.0,12,0,1,2,25,16,3,0,13,0,37,7,0,4,1,65,65,38,0,5,7,10,0,3,1,5,4,1,0,4,17,32,0,0,9,8,3,9,3,6,1,1,24,2,37,10,35,35,9,54,0,1,1,3,54,18,3,7,30,196,54,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662334352279378,0.0,0.0,0.06230529746572783,0.0,0.07038240503290515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130837999240005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603706980577245,0.0,0.11737363079455612,0.0,0.0,0.11961833687549925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673533880137033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166241067021875,0.14440848242751342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04532938239725619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687017634468355,0.0,0.07194185310852673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302150595571052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19878134466290645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430366019448949,0.1949379497816994,0.0367221230182052,0.06742581713520274,0.07989158842012818,0.0,0.11243007310051126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047111979837763086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277664764353409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725593398991308,0.1145867796890624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187334975920366,0.0,0.10301622017134976,0.2817846665677466,0.0,0.062201895850462076,0.0,0.0,0.07672670235690927,0.11951120427198984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463886799317629,0.0,0.0747040928585402,0.05166912590341966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886646138037045,0.0,0.08002236028696612,0.22126354959057665,0.0,0.04762837650123524,0.16036958270465554,0.0,0.0,0.1560910738840125,0.0,0.06709701615870321,0.0,0.061372008454388276,0.07343508817234178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301455427778262,0.07578141119502749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011093420347893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589514474486595,0.0,0.21340297582397008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164887481208601,0.0,0.0,0.06951576613339318,0.0,0.14924877139888595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092388941315294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05649413049183503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160877217105661,0.04669564420076757,0.09007430620352663,0.0,0.0,0.04098498916067243,0.0,0.0,0.1343247244408758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317137832429682,0.1690935198238419,0.0,0.0,0.0579942410830392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319656858416517,0.3257843559020833,0.0634231999217577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137998958790856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357878165747995
mentalhealth,Who-left-the-oven-on,2019/03/12,"I need help selecting a antidepressant Hello to start off I am 24 M and I have pretty bad anxiety and depression.

To give a little background, I started being depressed in 7-8th grade and that is when thoughts of suicide started to creep in. (Also, I feel really bad that I feel this way because I shouldn’t. I have had a really good life with a great family and great, supportive SO, which upsets me as to why i feel like this.) 

Anyway from then I had deep dives into a really deep depression that led to a few attempts on my life and I have also had peaks where I feel great (mainly when I am distracted and not thinking about it). 

I have also had anxiety/panic attacks for little reasons. Nothing ever big, but always caused a snowball effect that led to panic attacks. 

Anyways with all this being said, I looked for help my sophomore year of college after a suicide attempt. I went to therapy for a bit and was put on sertraline (Zoloft). I hated it, because it made me feel so empty and although I wasn’t as depressed I really didn’t feel much. I stopped receiving professional help for a while but recently realized I needed help again. I tried duloxetine when I went for help this time, but it caused severe migraines. My dr. Asked if I had any suggestions of what I would like to be on and said she would have suggestions for me too, but I need some advice. 

Do any of y’all have any suggestions for antidepressants that i should take or any medicines I should avoid? 

Any help is greatly appreciated! ",4.8182446633825915,6.204608624137932,5.786748768472908,78.1707471264368,69.65517241379311,8.97208538587849,29.671592775041052,9.362217197678863,2.701228243021347,1191,46,218,25,21,393,145,290,0.18600000000000005,0.6759999999999999,0.138,-0.9441,0,1,0,0,0,2,33.0,0,1,0,3,15,21,3,4,10,0,27,5,0,7,2,48,52,28,2,9,7,0,6,2,0,5,5,2,0,0,15,12,0,2,11,0,0,6,4,13,0,0,14,9,36,8,33,30,6,35,0,4,1,0,17,13,0,3,17,159,51,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952108727566089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19523251517470733,0.06771254460742326,0.0,0.0,0.2766972304359669,0.0,0.06225351473822855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760769162158921,0.18515715979774966,0.0,0.0,0.1358935175263534,0.09921385764268208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884308202535669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16719408358480786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28036106075063905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361054855247039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671540294583687,0.0,0.24688125634845146,0.05813605554668293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806465047187028,0.0,0.06825553122618205,0.0,0.3588756357885653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034336905687257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272734743457151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495857736600545,0.07951380803670424,0.16312313620044272,0.0,0.0,0.06833654964332292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700129625378131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059821777847340676,0.18102100990486145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808384327161445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954788857692153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279010671608562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180679838316395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852987360261124,0.08366955617357304,0.0803503992323359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481715112176375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193333794553908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17279810119686534,0.0,0.0,0.068035179175815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780274107465134,0.09234614843129264,0.0,0.0,0.06118570328141264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306218859239596,0.0,0.0,0.052143374222478237,0.0,0.06460459313415126,0.047451836542161084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05524993634634268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459361978708937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087539434162198,0.0734304772869354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156163894311862,0.0,0.0,0.05240439982603152
mentalhealth,whytoluve,2019/03/12,"Why do I tremble, get scared and anxious, feel like crying and throwing up when reminded of something from the past? A thing has happened to me in the past which I can never really forget and still haunts me in the present. It wasn't a very big thing but it still traumatizes me the same way it did back then. I hate remembering it. Is it a trigger? How do I stop feeling this way? ",2.2983116883116885,4.265230259740259,3.4116883116883163,90.19467532467534,77.57142857142857,6.477922077922077,25.285714285714285,7.447530270364453,1.1467974025974033,298,11,63,4,7,96,55,77,0.241,0.6990000000000001,0.06,-0.9337,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,2,7,0,7,0,0,2,1,13,12,7,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,2,7,1,6,10,1,17,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,11,48,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333661166005406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884013352352805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22690823709639185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088967264868623,0.14757416428673284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792467577888636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266980628281465,0.0,0.0,0.20394582042167847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092001994227012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932007464014752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943902541293033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323344933550417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340043582258519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20681332817591416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902823308220582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299352891002525,0.17270237229814767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744728161907011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044247857964634,0.0,0.32793244635182583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863979455932267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pillsboozecigarettes,2019/03/12,"Advice? Hi, I am going to my GP for a medication review and I am terrified of telling him about how bad I have gotten. How do I word the fact few that I am SHing more regularly, have increased suicidal ideation and plans to end my life, and that I am really struggling; without him freaking out?

I gave a friend my sharps, poured any alcohol I had down the drain, have flushed the pills I had stockpiled: because I know last night would have been THE night...

I am desperate to die - but I want to carry on living. If anyone has any advice, anything at all, I’d really appreciate it. Can anyone relate? I’m terrified...

How will he react? Am I overreacting? Sometimes I feel like I should just not wake up, at least then I wouldn’t be a burden for anyone. ",3.3220720720720722,5.001801567567568,4.767297297297297,82.85045045045045,73.86486486486487,7.906306306306307,25.84684684684685,8.59863814320734,1.815038738738739,584,20,116,11,12,195,96,148,0.127,0.7759999999999999,0.097,-0.6507,0,0,1,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,7,0,21,5,1,4,2,22,28,9,2,5,5,0,2,1,1,4,4,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,5,2,21,2,15,18,5,13,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,6,82,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35112258035401783,0.0,0.19200148356856286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24434938921471014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3768665267852188,0.0,0.1478445498493872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000826875590714,0.10951882983445163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864583090851413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912508738203454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084129625224784,0.12834886024881864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880456790405865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210469579866444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873622235672556,0.14644655982021504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689889468769014,0.08777260978223213,0.0,0.15864272586998526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809881544689296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371967443049517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301890913740576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17768794674441454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781923114397744,0.0,0.19651845182388727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570304166941765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059678919452268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318545147818154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762503123092428,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MendingMyMind,2019/03/12,"I'm choosing to stop taking Zoloft. Rant/Cry for help. I know i need to wean myself off of it, I'll be seeing my doctor tomorrow to talk it out and figure out the next step. after that i need to find a new doctor.

My current doctor doesnt really listen, ex: after telling her i struggle with sleeping because of night terrors  she prescribed a medication that i later found out commonly causes night terrors, when i explained i was not confortable taking it my sleep problems were just put on the back burner and never adressed again.

There have been a few situations like this and i dont trust her to actually help me when considering a replacement for Zoloft. I need to go to a new doctor but my usual doctor is the only person i could get an apt. with soon enough to get the zoloft i need to wean off of it.

Zoloft has been the first medication to really help my depression and social anxiety but there are some side effects that are having too big of an impact on my life and I would rather try other medications instead of settling for the first thing i tried.

has anyone had great success with zoloft and then chose to move onto something else? what worked for you? im so worried about this transition but i need it.",4.825588235294116,6.124033239495804,5.537226890756305,80.29894957983194,69.54621848739495,8.121008403361344,27.02521008403361,8.4952907291091,1.8878588235294118,973,31,181,15,17,316,139,238,0.096,0.8220000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.1295,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,5,13,9,0,3,13,0,17,16,2,2,1,37,33,13,0,9,6,1,0,1,0,1,14,1,0,1,13,12,0,1,7,0,0,4,4,5,0,2,6,2,26,4,34,24,3,36,0,1,1,0,14,10,0,1,23,132,39,7,0.0,0.0,0.09467982179548516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742218351966413,0.0,0.0,0.06784028575182363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07460420134173416,0.0,0.0591439264284319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966868352627084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746445483445469,0.0,0.10657449997629018,0.0,0.0,0.08356521127397151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4965324521962487,0.0,0.0,0.11370947622431665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104972707422026,0.0,0.0,0.1002500273224746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867667378632879,0.16505432938249442,0.0,0.10638000324993696,0.0,0.0,0.10138035095968713,0.0,0.05514003962096722,0.0,0.0,0.1069674877297808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19509611609289104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480079136682198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05332094836764295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852975787454141,0.04740022134311359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29321944295356445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031194077255452,0.0,0.3597042303765063,0.07482962059127887,0.18740958802547866,0.103184374102015,0.18209781338263767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378987216051565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471617712737113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283728955846736,0.0,0.09753426345631636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243100086572708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731425455783847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905719089761136,0.19418484463272284,0.09890207152123123,0.0,0.07469254814072378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111503226114868,0.0,0.10142883014195296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589747115289795,0.07798289294964246,0.08480181377051947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445734081081826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174361921143016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685641564193236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063342919365115,0.09853090999577327,0.0,0.06892189652645135,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nic_42,2019/03/12,Mental health I’ve taken a lot of quizzes online about my mental health and each one told me i had severe depression and some sorta anxiety disorder. i told my mom a long time ago but she didn’t care much for it. idk what to do and i really want to die. help?,0.5375151515151515,2.6734882363636423,2.7886363636363645,91.39628787878787,84.81818181818181,6.575757575757575,16.439393939393938,7.793537801064563,0.3327575757575758,203,4,45,4,6,69,44,55,0.228,0.618,0.154,-0.396,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,9,8,4,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,7,1,5,3,4,3,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916792658046113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462188694944246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060756638005503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408638059511364,0.0,0.20976951786961254,0.0,0.23164798994059235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4296899959175787,0.0,0.0,0.13547733640587473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17887058022684768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183590756728792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40738052840228856,0.0,0.0,0.2367214812602216,0.0,0.0,0.14858207139501625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696230996752518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948378367609087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283390142142603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785828537099295,0.0,0.0,0.3862702425873471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921610633538035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FMCinc,2019/03/12,"How do I help my friend? Didn’t know where else to turn. 
This subreddit definitely deserves more attention and if anyone here has suggestions where else to turn, please let me know. 

Onto the issue at hand.
I have this close bunch of mates. We went through high school together and 10 years on, we are still close, despite not being able to see each other nearly as often. Some moved for work, some studying, some married with kids. Some single. Some shift workers some 9-5ers. 
Diverse bunch. 

One of these mates, seems to be going through a perpetually hard time. And we are at the end of our rope trying to work out how to look after him. 

It got worse over a year ago. He went through a break up with a girl he had been dating for 6 months. We recently had a get together as one of the guys who had moved away was visiting. In the space of an evening, he brought up this girl 17 times! Completely unprompted. They dated for 6 months over a year ago. Immediately after the breakup we made sure we saw him lots. But it wasn’t sustainable over a long term. We have lives to live. 

[some side context: this girl is the best friend of one of the crew’s roommate. We get along with the roommate and the girl but make sure not to not have her around when there is the chance of him being there]

He accuses us of being bad friends. 
That he doesn’t feel like part of the group. That we are excluding him. Which isn’t true at all. All catch ups are organised through a communal  FB chat. Nearly constantly people offer to give him lifts as he doesn’t drive. [He will actually say to us that no one offered him a lift when we have the text trail to prove him otherwise, and he sees them because he replies. Not sure if he is lying or genuinely believes it] When we mention this he says he often muted the conversation because it’s too busy. 

He sometimes tries to organise something. Usually the night of, and we can’t rearrange our schedules for him. And it is always dependant on someone else to actually make the plans as he can’t host due to still living with parents and younger siblings. He will sometimes ask if people are free on a particular day and after people respond not follow up. 
His twin brother who hangs is one of the crew tries to help out and host, but has his own child to look after. 

Earlier in the year he showed one of us a Snapchat of a cut a comment saying serrated knives are not good to cut yourself with. We are not equipped to deal with that. The recipient instantly offered to go with him to go see a psychologist, which resulted in him being ignored for the next two weeks. 

Back to this party recently he was alluding to the scars he had given himself saying it was a hard year. The one he said it too suggested that he needed to see someone to which he brushed it off as not having done it for months. He also seems to have a habit of trying to tear down the others when chatting with someone one on one and making you promise not to tell anyone. But we don’t play that game, neither keeping secrets or tearing down our buddies. He talks down about his ex insultingly, but that night goes and loves a bunch of her fb photos. 

We really want him to get help. But we can’t tell if he just tries to downplay things. He is working the same job he has since high school. And keeps getting passed over for promotion. He blames upper management for keeping him down which he tells us that local management is going to open the doors for him because they acknowledge he has been treated unfairly. But our person on the inside there tells us a completely different story. We can’t tell if he is telling stories to increase status in our eyes or if he genuinely believes it. Do we respond differently in each of these cases?

We feel if he could get a new job and get out of his parents house things could improve. His brother had pretty much secured him a new job at his place of work, all he needed to do was submit a cv, but he didn’t. 

We are quite certain of depression, but it feels like there is something more going on. And we just don’t know how to help. It is hard to do one on one catch ups with him because he seems to always be complaining/attacking someone. He seems to think everyone is against him. We really aren’t against him. We want to help him, but we are running out of ideas how. And out of emotional energy to help. 

I honestly don’t know what to do. 
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mentalhealth,shug-E,2019/03/12,"Floater Hi everyone. 

So I’m not sure why I’m writing this post. I think I’m looking for advice.

Currently, I’m struggling mentally. A lot. My mental health has never been great but I think up until the past year I was in denial about it, or at least thought it was normal so just got on with things as best as I could. 
Over the past few months, I think I’ve spiralled into depression. I have no motivation to do anything, I’m behind at lectures, failed to hand in my assignments, even just getting out of bed is a serious struggle. My sleeping and eating patterns are irregular. 

I put on, what I can only describe, a show to everyone around me that I’m fine and come across as a happy, bubbly person. Even this drains me mentally which in return means that when I’m alone with my boyfriend (he’s aware of  how my mental health is) I’m irritated, shut in and confrontational. This leaves him feeling confused and annoyed that I’m communicate fine with others but when it’s just us two, a lot of the interactions are negative. We live with 4 girls and although 3 of them are okay, the 4th is very manipulative and a leader and can passive aggressively ostracise you if you don’t behave how they like (they made a separate group chat for the house that I’m not in, which is used to discuss things I do & make plans without me)  . As they have a much better relationship with the other housemates, to speak out would probably result in everyone distancing themselves further. 

I’ve suffered with drug and alcohol abuse since I was 15. Most weekends up till now I regularly get black out drunk where I remember very little of the night, behave seriously out of character and feel shame and embarrassment for days after. But as at university I’m surrounded by drinking behaviour and I do it enjoy it so it’s hard to refrain from getting involved. 

When it comes to life in general I feel almost bored of it. Nothing excites me anymore and I don’t have any realistic goals or aims that I want to work for and would be settled with. So I just feel trapped, with life continuously moving forward and I’m going nowhere. 

I had some traumatic things happen to me when I was younger that I never told anyone or dealt properly with but I’m not sure if that would make me feel like this now and so lifeless. 

Thanks anyone who read this and any responses or advice would be great. 
Hope everyone is having a good day",4.073560571687839,5.992468890086213,5.066501814882034,80.48657441016334,72.38362068965517,8.160072595281306,29.02087114337568,8.841846274778883,2.408625862068965,1911,78,358,38,38,625,243,464,0.173,0.7090000000000001,0.118,-0.9812,1,2,3,0,1,0,44.0,2,2,4,7,22,31,3,5,16,1,33,11,2,9,4,93,73,45,0,10,18,0,7,2,0,4,6,1,1,2,29,34,4,1,12,6,0,6,10,14,0,1,10,10,40,17,64,56,8,56,0,3,2,0,23,28,0,13,25,245,69,7,0.0,0.09544866216142954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744168862543234,0.0,0.08609254853716454,0.08066771181927515,0.08343432191573641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728511269293711,0.0,0.1095650994982122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989239590276631,0.11265676752857992,0.0,0.06629279028106252,0.0717141539244044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454118692077595,0.07124745620150427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878804767035705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431941569304747,0.0,0.0,0.10390714993209016,0.0,0.06938492722751695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891667154652421,0.09342229678448297,0.08243146790646104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641627311177862,0.0,0.0,0.30790843695478226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20366401762679176,0.057551016144702365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626549074188154,0.0,0.04578325810581515,0.06756865670752185,0.06443000017157642,0.17763208489973384,0.0,0.0,0.0712376249687293,0.08575603262593352,0.07216460228847592,0.0,0.0,0.1712598595893267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001277806265683,0.0,0.09295370536201164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529983110693766,0.0,0.0,0.1138017170196626,0.07871363832677894,0.08074079120751261,0.07113464085371297,0.0,0.06764885981365018,0.0,0.0,0.13697593000523625,0.0,0.0762264106532977,0.1075468628866558,0.0,0.0,0.08775183469547536,0.0,0.0,0.32473612491077986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430103467248872,0.0856209479004834,0.0592197745499357,0.0,0.12426337946220885,0.0,0.0,0.07559870511438363,0.0789302363005037,0.0772980636974346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061268377497417766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538044277086877,0.0,0.07034058426184987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715278482718363,0.0,0.08685569975451207,0.0,0.0,0.08098355366946645,0.0,0.0,0.08058031098306102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648969231720254,0.09125708868674544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663883252466488,0.0,0.08061668909897687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843449303558766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185088593914187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416745328081223,0.0,0.0,0.1605584848020691,0.1548559225508889,0.0,0.06395445902758032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697710923869558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869395935031423,0.0,0.09690196947148526,0.0695766880888817,0.0,0.13293841620436228,0.047515496813427725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269152583735522,0.0,0.0,0.07765552958340456,0.0,0.058647555241183986,0.0,0.0,0.22890581867575785,0.0,0.0,0.0518770396801277
mentalhealth,bazilikas,2019/03/12,"I need help I'm so tired and weak. I need help. I don't know how to get it. I just know that I can't continue for much longer. I want things to change but I need someone to help me. I want to be strong. To pull myself together.

I can't put my thoughts and feelings into words. I just feel so exhausted and I want the noise to stop.

So pathetic. ",-2.2078441295546547,-0.5144069868421006,0.35315789473684234,102.94325910931177,105.71052631578951,4.443724696356276,15.056680161943321,6.297961479604792,-0.6102862348178135,263,7,68,4,13,88,45,76,0.206,0.601,0.193,-0.6224,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,0,21,17,8,0,6,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,2,14,1,8,15,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,41,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302648392830948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201198768485187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137230187417936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43769663562726063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392502749553465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001169024387948,0.4841962042393322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218817369756794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18443015657181355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198095087960173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446095482543689,0.0,0.0,0.17280479646215027,0.0,0.2501783855385408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851602787587358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,31coins,2019/03/12,"Can anyone offer some tips to control outbursts of rage and anger? I want to preface by saying a couple things. Firstly, I have reduced the severity of my anger outbursts, which used to be very violent and destructive to my own property and others, thankfully. However, now I get severe bouts of rage much more frequently, usually at least once a day when before it was a very sporadic occurrence that often was a result of a cocktail of external pressures. While they are much less destructive, I tend to hit myself, bite myself, bite really anything, and yell at myself and others. 

​

I have tried breathing, and all the cognitive behavior therapy my therapist recommends me to try doesn't work/isn't working. I just don't want to hurt others or myself. I would like not to have to take pills, as I have seen what those do to people, and I have an extremely addictive personality. 

​

If it helps anyone to know, here is some info about me:

I am male

14 years of age

Diagnosed depression and anxiety (No, I don't self diagnose nor do I believe in it)

​

also yes, I know having to ask for help like this is desperate and my anger problems are very childish. I apologize.",6.787188311688311,7.733361368181821,7.3267532467532455,70.52227272727275,64.86363636363636,11.012987012987013,35.25974025974025,10.914260884657429,4.270428571428572,951,43,155,26,14,313,138,220,0.2,0.6990000000000001,0.101,-0.9819,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,1,3,7,15,8,1,8,1,21,5,1,3,1,27,33,16,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,1,4,2,0,3,12,9,1,1,3,1,0,0,6,12,0,1,3,3,25,3,25,27,9,12,0,2,1,0,10,3,0,5,11,122,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460599717970878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407152762848644,0.0,0.3417212937886188,0.3832292896392966,0.0,0.0,0.08042330571219435,0.0,0.0,0.14701711500845313,0.0,0.0865121109613741,0.0,0.09828131176527023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945693406420457,0.1184442477053038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791097859510508,0.0,0.1163231065165552,0.0,0.06779943072612693,0.0,0.09054735059279216,0.2134072012057245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942257191486326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492550094483132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093134494479467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254264073467997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555216655783072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272132134171234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456364667260408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195882653008504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288312866951359,0.09179448330578714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059414052308414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734825272672335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360270521324745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967234995488244,0.2375314220835896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904383456754338,0.0,0.0,0.0967885485095517,0.12022403674528848,0.12206273288626905,0.0698429567483683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275121782425593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907975985736978,0.11578460920175845,0.26022700881063576,0.12401547484364515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307015393762988,0.0,0.0,0.07468054030092013,0.0,0.3832292896392966,0.067699552155325
mentalhealth,GranTuro,2019/03/12,"Is it safe to give up on this kind of ocd/intrusive thoughts, and images? DON'T READ IT IF YOU HAVE OCD OR YOU'RE NOT 100% SURE THAT YOUR NOT SUSCEPTIBLE TO IMAGINATON OR WORDS OR PICTURES AND DO NOT TRY TO IMAGINE IT

So, after 4 month of suffering I decided to give up on it.The problem is basicly that my mind statrted to imagine (maybe hallucinate) bad things,words or even people everything (on food, clothes, everything).This is just one part of the of problem it did the same thing with parts of body(worst is with head) .So my quesiton is is it safe to give up and stop correcting it (it with positve ones etc)?It won't hurt me, it won't cause anything bad, right?( for some reason about subconscious mind)It really took all day,and sometimes I even woke up. (sorry for grammer).Please help.",2.1961999999999966,5.0671965533333365,2.6750000000000007,89.24249999999998,86.8,6.7333333333333325,25.5,7.908726449838941,1.8600000000000008,633,27,122,14,20,195,96,150,0.128,0.802,0.07,-0.858,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,0,0,6,10,0,0,2,0,12,2,1,2,3,33,18,10,0,3,9,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,6,1,3,5,1,0,1,6,6,0,2,4,0,7,4,25,12,5,12,0,2,0,0,6,8,0,6,3,81,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685362092772256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23712756934339385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458727663053288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157803328511437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836715668330265,0.1875788722427188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762013811099732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717065523811591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4086570387240081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573261794177847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517937879452464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201357281047995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787079427069044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265774440297052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867583538560843,0.0,0.11334277376201753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19244528903222366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075435877726906,0.0,0.09844468473756564,0.0,0.0,0.1558729848528568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717489940681902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203808700661158,0.0,0.09096861822949544,0.1459993003686313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126693366625033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044129454517892,0.15895699355449056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871807398520445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383299894181885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433826433837747,0.0,0.0,0.11273186843036373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776684697395896,0.09640844795738532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gabbakerrr,2019/03/12,"my uncle just died he was only 41 and he had a heart attack in his sleep- he has four boys all under the age of ten and none of them know yet; they’re all asleep. his mum, my grandmother slept through it too. we don’t know how to tell her. ",0.22169811320754812,1.8210107924528351,1.679849056603775,101.898641509434,82.58490566037736,4.994716981132076,14.373584905660374,5.6839178017228535,-1.2096611320754715,184,2,48,1,5,59,45,53,0.122,0.878,0.0,-0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,2,0,4,4,4,1,2,9,7,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,7,0,6,4,3,4,0,0,0,0,11,2,0,0,2,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4202690687887782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834000809152677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4377649865722909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4060476127513387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809608826667643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696872196081131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32288973745446875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CerberusF,2019/03/12,"Is my social anxiety even real? I don't really know how to explain the story since it's not really a story, since everything is in my head, so I'll type what's in my head whenever I think about this ("" ""). 

""Every single one of my boyfriend's friends hate me, they think I'm stupid, that my boyfriend was happier before meeting someone as annoying as me. Sometimes I wonder if my boyfriend feels the same way.

I'm having second thoughts about posting this, I know you all will say, at least I think I do, but you guys probably think I'm exaggerating, I'm just looking for attention.

Maybe he will hate me for posting this, what if his friends see this and tell him about it?... will he be mad? 

This is going to keep ruin my mood for the rest of the day...""

I tried to keep a notebook to keep the bad thoughts away, I wrote down the opposite of what I thought at the moment, and it would help me feel better, but I started feeling like by doing so I was being dramatic, I was seeking for attention, so I stopped.

Talking or hanging out with his friends is extremely stressful, I don't know them well enough to be open about my social anxiety, they will think I'm exaggerating or that I'm crazy.

Sometimes I don't even know if my boyfriend believes that I can't help it, I want it to stop, but it won't.

I have heard social anxiety feels like this for some people... or maybe I'm just exaggerating.",5.6391801075268795,5.410671114695344,6.2672558243727625,81.18755040322583,67.24372759856631,9.555645161290323,32.849686379928315,9.188382445141503,2.6390804659498204,1087,43,226,18,16,356,133,279,0.183,0.7120000000000001,0.105,-0.9669,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,2,3,1,13,16,5,1,9,0,24,2,2,1,1,50,61,17,0,5,12,0,4,2,3,6,0,2,0,1,18,5,0,5,20,0,0,2,6,8,1,2,8,8,39,7,29,44,7,18,0,1,2,0,26,8,0,8,7,149,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215500698854782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906990537701166,0.0,0.0806037978512691,0.0,0.0,0.08214530111702856,0.10876337865937806,0.0,0.08537853325150856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062257942448190426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974782802783808,0.0,0.12752266251695,0.0,0.08133601618042521,0.0,0.08676062292152407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524666314436345,0.13793113768642404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237511723512425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054863817362046485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558613774783628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19061926708591376,0.1981482374140077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941252557358046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574177598802854,0.0,0.0,0.212215355151909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432554291093724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810661984996515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396742476828155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541551122686677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692613170278522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849102257401045,0.0,0.10408248441320607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987947070705456,0.12368728165827332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676955918265012,0.0,0.0,0.07692695128080894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15971168886247716,0.0,0.0,0.2952198743037669,0.08179491368382848,0.0,0.1909537848650075,0.0,0.06832890668854863,0.0,0.0,0.1614173782203788,0.11058203248072523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775922401500472,0.08437700180590563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30928289087054106,0.0,0.2299171730942397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554182688946095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05693962480812801,0.07662604024935345,0.0,0.0,0.0867977484307007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468952494163304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857663449765153,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TurtleDolphin,2019/03/12,"Is it bad that I subconsciously say to myself that I want to kms throughout the day? I don’t to kms btw.
When ever I get anxious thoughts and negative self reflection on events or things that have happened in my life I subconsciously have the urge to do things like say I want to kms or put the middle finger up to distract or convince the negative thought to go away? It kinda work at getting rid of the negative thoughts fast but I don’t think it’s healthy for me to say things like kys to myself to hide my anxiety.

Do I need help?
",4.677182175622542,5.171176403669727,5.3140498034076025,84.6978899082569,69.36697247706422,8.797378768020971,31.16775884665793,8.841846274778883,2.2940474442988203,424,17,90,7,7,137,64,109,0.147,0.716,0.13699999999999998,0.2359,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,5,0,7,2,1,0,1,15,18,6,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,0,1,9,1,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,3,4,13,3,17,15,0,13,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,4,7,61,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418307426054126,0.2094495972771672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418971011573214,0.0,0.15480152877367326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956787305564287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770521003816555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19372803736413746,0.0,0.10536727832199372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639488967720391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242699310410776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095373381922473,0.1811544695693256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747199318757058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863785364351553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423133440939264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19341297525181333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695152170253351,0.11879704333199002,0.0,0.4415614503919951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187078327093692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497364608084642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hayaotaku,2019/03/12,"How do you learn to love yourself? At age four I was raped by my older cousin.

At age nine I was diagnosed with social anxiety.

By 10 I'd been diagnosed with major depression.

When I was in grade 11 I spent a month (including my 17th bday) hospitalized due to my own Dad.

Two months ago my Grandpa Hugh passed away before I had the chance to visit Jamaica to thank him for raising my Mom and I for a period of time. 

I'm 23 and I've had three suicide attempts, one was just three weeks ago.

Please help me. I know I'm not okay and I'm trying to change but I can't remember how to love myself anymore or if I ever have to begin with. ",0.3300995024875633,2.475893701492538,2.599970149253732,92.33333830845774,85.86567164179105,5.961393034825871,19.381094527363185,7.3011,0.44462348258706497,492,14,110,8,15,167,91,134,0.08,0.805,0.115,0.6775,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,1,0,1,5,6,1,0,3,1,10,5,0,2,1,17,19,9,1,1,5,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,2,0,6,8,0,18,4,19,11,2,20,0,1,0,3,11,4,0,2,14,69,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265381710948181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090119012742644,0.0,0.18266224744542167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730480783812905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567280574104273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948435420051779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586384611827173,0.3738882450226169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660607743335454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345547135330895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122338074529216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33246870651812804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157155050707572,0.2940297727617926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480867267734096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202180063160526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086459509254736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775363808358028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014687375882748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695730056720878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739988369551223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250496750006594,0.0,0.17992219801245604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774227461416872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway_Badger2183,2019/03/12,"I’m worried about what the dentist will say to me. For months I’ve had issues motivating myself, especially when it comes to hygiene. This includes showering, changing out of dirty clothes and the one I’m worried about most. Brushing my teeth. With my supportive family and starting sertraline things have gotten a bit easier recently but I feel as though the damage is already done. Today I have a check up at the dentist (every 6 months) and whilst leaving the house is difficult for me (I don’t go to school currently due to this) I’m more concerned about what the dentist might think, he’ll probably take one look know that I haven’t been brushing but I’m worried that because he doesn’t know about my personal issues that he is going to tell me off.",4.969412878787878,6.7242618125000035,5.412676767676769,79.57272727272729,69.7638888888889,8.56969696969697,31.84090909090909,9.095868883498916,2.9056750000000013,607,27,108,12,11,194,91,144,0.11,0.85,0.04,-0.872,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,8,0,13,4,1,1,0,15,30,8,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,3,1,1,1,9,6,0,0,5,0,1,3,3,2,0,2,4,5,11,1,18,23,3,16,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,2,9,70,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879306731403645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932418382862157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16699062981487278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180938868227726,0.13175985964202913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565292426074443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887379659937698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441952841164462,0.0,0.0773402114290835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385922673413098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649311129147147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192970340704017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16812354353847514,0.0,0.0,0.16196054289679862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844628083767787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226437273558034,0.0,0.0,0.24417939283669066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20729673480920707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355711338331874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491470268313335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102767112305585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216384207112142,0.0,0.15480176362834824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826453072036596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17357503967633622,0.0,0.0,0.11500545561569855,0.0,0.1336921216337682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161856527253826,0.0980093745464509,0.15028055701318313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449863942395114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4660091270979461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AutistEgg,2019/03/12,"Odd Experience I have no idea what happened to me earlier but I had an experience that I can on describe as out od body. my body did not feel like mine, in ways that i cant explain well; it was if the air and my skin felt different. I was pretty okay with this but then it started to mess with my senses and make them slower, my eyes were a little blurry and my reaction time was screwed beyond belief. After this my demeanor changed a bit and then my chest got tight as I was filled with an intense anxiety as it became hard to breathe, along with this I had a fluctuating heartrate.

I have never had an issue like this and have no idea what could have caused it. Nothing in my daily routine changed or anything, if anyone has an idea as to what it could have been it would be much appreciated.",4.9978750000000005,5.3549080375,5.62125,83.25875,68.625,8.4,29.75,8.238735603445708,1.8942,626,22,130,8,10,203,96,160,0.151,0.775,0.073,-0.856,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,2,6,1,0,8,1,22,7,6,2,1,31,29,16,1,5,6,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,15,11,0,1,7,0,0,1,5,2,1,0,12,6,19,4,19,13,2,15,1,0,1,1,2,7,1,3,8,101,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324952933032265,0.0,0.0,0.10351240185147416,0.0,0.12182359032604036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162038827742498,0.32887620103008475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207696587423966,0.3132115407284159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23639439867229314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546693824382889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896213514515545,0.0,0.0,0.07485303225985762,0.10575918412748374,0.142140780537683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840041597782985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091051384617455,0.0,0.13261398272662991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5013544755151439,0.0,0.15451439005738865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464888244918106,0.14837409964133322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881726888857092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882579422867833,0.0,0.11417690346078158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204753797431371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060901634596893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478285824238703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863228072640717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750657082398565,0.0,0.0,0.13310495675026976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516275057729947,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,doctornroy,2019/03/12,"Sexually Transmitted Diseases Can Be Fatal - Learn About Types And Symptoms of Sexually Transmitted Disease  

The term STD or [Sexually Transmitted Disease](https://www.drroysclinic.com/disease-details/sexually-transmitted-disesase) refers to a medical condition that passed from one person to another person through any kind of sexual contact. You can be affected by STD via having an unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex with someone who has the STD.

STD is also known as Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) or Venereal Disease (VD).

It is not always necessary that STD will be transmitted via sexual contact. In this era many children are affected by STD. It can be transferred via breastfeeding and sharing same needle.

We are sharing the symptoms & types of STD in men and women specifically in this article. Have a look! ([Click to know more](https://www.drroysclinic.com/blog-details/everything-you-should-know-about-common-symptoms-types-of-std))",11.047567567567567,13.506289162162163,9.71578378378378,51.765702702702725,56.02702702702703,13.487567567567568,45.20540540540541,12.688352899677879,7.149154594594594,788,45,93,28,10,245,90,148,0.069,0.8909999999999999,0.041,-0.4389,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,0,15,14,1,2,0,17,17,8,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,0,5,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,2,3,16,12,2,6,0,0,2,9,12,3,0,3,2,56,9,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031700589270736,0.1980230916893504,0.2578573084061809,0.0,0.1618383752980506,0.24954866185242724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24782539002648996,0.2615813341810891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984797372789997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412800546605457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397454641616173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126520807707811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41559970927198997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164443459171053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4947163425550307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lunavism,2019/03/12,"Initial Assessment Hey everyone, I hopefully plan on seeing a psychologist or therapist for the first time in the near future, and I haven't been able to stop wondering what I'm gonna say when asked why I'm there. There are upwards of a dozen reasons that I think I need professional help, but the reasons vary wildly in *type* of problem and severity. Should I just list off a bunch of seemingly disconnected problems? Should I prioritize what I believe is the worst problem and save the others for later? Any help would be appreciated. ",7.420303030303033,8.122951585858589,7.770252525252527,68.74204545454548,63.444444444444436,11.44848484848485,36.7020202020202,11.20814326018867,4.405214141414142,433,20,74,12,6,142,72,99,0.16699999999999998,0.6859999999999999,0.146,-0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,8,0,8,0,0,2,0,21,18,6,0,8,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,1,2,7,2,11,12,2,11,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,4,6,51,11,2,0.18346443567818446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247621075247356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17151448148075976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20670159325989526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530813048617114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560547552650133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459446879415192,0.0,0.0,0.18222158088158147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603655438595033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5266520625923194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37726399167157415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589828297454568,0.0,0.0,0.14619740201495202,0.16701913179910394,0.0,0.2072625912409256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338448322058684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130163503425167,0.0,0.11755660241335265,0.0,0.0,0.10697958782585876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165548117132047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19895935442413032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032787125396866,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GirlG0ne,2019/03/12,"Calling in sick bc of anxiety I had a terrible day at work yesterday (I’m a teacher). I had my first panic attack in a long, long time. The rest of the day and all last night, my stomach has been giving me issues - because of the anxiety, I think. I called in sick today because of those stomach issues. But how am I going to get through the rest of this year?

I’m applying to new schools for sure because I am hesitant about even staying in education, but I’ve only ever worked at my current school so I feel like I need to try another setting before completely giving up on it. I’m just tired, drained, discouraged, and overly sad and anxious because of my job. I still have to stick it out for at least 3 more months. Maybe more if I don’t find a job in another school. 

Those of you with anxiety and depression, how do you get by when it’s at its worst? How do you even get up in the morning to go to a job that makes you physically ill? ",3.2217673048600872,4.189243989690727,4.959646539027983,84.1854639175258,73.02061855670105,8.429455081001473,29.32106038291605,8.841846274778883,2.231347275405008,730,30,155,14,14,249,111,194,0.233,0.7190000000000001,0.048,-0.989,4,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,0,3,11,9,1,1,10,0,10,6,2,4,3,22,24,12,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,7,0,1,3,1,19,2,34,21,7,36,0,3,0,0,8,15,0,1,18,106,27,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338712361408509,0.2559313001525039,0.12598281294744265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686703403774066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719196571889235,0.0,0.0948930132460232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22774327436306924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169237729919254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383887275523294,0.0,0.09604969172123988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731225692568026,0.10087378720805504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638650032338606,0.07966798525012421,0.0,0.0,0.1019247968166722,0.0948565629928738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747895680717687,0.21395512178685866,0.12675570913659578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327901874353625,0.33199115457994216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090148790624504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448172245503161,0.0,0.0,0.19737861204370694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443866729136739,0.0,0.11203412220506176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089012049222125,0.0,0.0,0.0826886689132337,0.0,0.10770410845032197,0.0,0.10465143671552024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481393590845629,0.0,0.1308415301250026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385844000269251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886260969208776,0.08905786413420831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510374057340993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145578642005282,0.0,0.0,0.06502663756911682,0.12817273768312182,0.1057053661298695,0.0,0.0,0.07571293016906228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237185297172496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181348843024664
mentalhealth,basmaj,2019/03/12,"Does the fear of having someone touch my neck count as an OCD? So it first started when I was very young, because my neck was the place that most tickled me. My friends knew that I wasn't responding to their tickles in any body part except my neck so they would always target my neck when they want to annoy me.

Anyway, gradually, my neck has become more and more sensitive. I always feel the urge to pull the fabric of the top I'm wearing to cover it, and/or to surround it with my hand so that it is totally covered. I first need to note that I'm wearing a headscarf (hijab) which normally covers the neck so when I'm outdoors it is fine  because my neck is not exposed. But when my  headscarf is off indoors is when the problem shows. This urge increases specially in three cases: 
1- When there are people around. So if I'm alone like taking a shower or something, most of the time I'm not annoyed (unless cases no. 2 or 3 happen). So it mostly annoys me when there are people around me.
2- When my hands are busy. So if I'm washing the dishes or cooking or anything that makes my hand busy, the urge increases. And I can't resist it and just use my dirty/wet hands to pull my top to cover it multiple times during my cooking/washing.
3- When I think/talk about my neck. Like the whole time I'm writing this post, I'm more conscious about the existence of my neck and my need to protect/cover it. Also if I see a picture of a spider or an insect for example, as an unconscious reflex I just cover my neck with my hands because I guess I imagine it attacking my neck or crawling on it.

Any time I have been to a hairdresser or so on, and I take off my hijab, I use it as a neck scarf to cover my neck so that I can act normally. I also remember an incident that happened about a year ago. I was with my friends at a friend's house so my headscarf was off, and then a friend was about to tickle my neck and as a reflex I punched her in the face. She was shocked, and me too actually because I didn't realize it until I hit her.

So anyway, I just want to know if that counts as an OCD, and if someone has something similar because I searched but in vain. I also want to know how such OCDs are normally treated.



",4.293511317028711,4.6501031696035255,5.4604511620841585,83.79742290748901,70.16740088105726,8.112289229834422,29.53182439617196,7.990435384864732,1.873249673401185,1725,63,356,21,29,575,190,454,0.044,0.898,0.058,0.0101,1,1,2,0,0,0,50.0,0,0,3,4,39,17,4,1,28,0,25,26,23,4,1,63,53,55,0,15,21,0,7,2,4,1,1,0,1,0,24,14,2,0,8,2,0,5,6,8,0,3,10,8,58,9,47,41,11,43,0,0,1,0,12,16,0,16,23,254,82,0,0.0,0.0,0.09995043030799264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079213394153256,0.0,0.0,0.1060797177353636,0.0,0.24572378596401856,0.17044889068098312,0.0,0.0,0.1393028020309859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428570304684664,0.18235702121758154,0.0,0.11652136495586694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121816657722057,0.11311856057092252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376926974902815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896313776621481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525476195643658,0.051788331244591514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424252531455606,0.0,0.0,0.3165281534916409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283088478095073,0.0,0.18114528830119744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181828125506534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257840652231367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007776588705447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836839202613902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189125593158453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30105945593945505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109145241164758,0.0,0.14201493113273966,0.0,0.10701061759666576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809327203774214,0.0,0.0,0.0980053285275512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602570725052146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161816177358006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356597099326845,0.1577010219472508,0.0,0.0,0.07249578550903901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401924872735098,0.08232402173100173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562875715359268,0.0,0.0,0.2388955531439297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692180541442018,0.0,0.08451000345749361,0.18123586460429955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435203020686174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275862042011418,0.0,0.0,0.06595728951656131
mentalhealth,consistentbenny,2019/03/12,"How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying I've been writing an article about a book that has helped me tremendously to change my relationship with my chronic worrying and anxiety. Wanted to share some of the advice, especially after learning that trying to stop worrying thoughts is simply the wrong approach.

If you are a chronic worrier, give it a try, I am sure it can help you!

[https://consistentme.com/stop-worrying](https://consistentme.com/stop-worrying)

Also, feedback is much appreciated!",10.371731601731604,13.583799701298707,9.33707792207792,50.97799783549782,58.480519480519476,10.847619047619046,36.20995670995672,10.864195022040775,4.816187878787881,415,18,53,11,6,130,59,77,0.219,0.665,0.116,-0.8065,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,7,0,7,2,0,1,1,13,10,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,2,9,8,2,6,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,2,4,40,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246355579214996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477127970931393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935692207838285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505130609298774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967117025644014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20915742530124587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777088367435994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469462097263335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750996696207446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5217677821804949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704952813069574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386457890839946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118583143475598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202621824821486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6337944145692505,0.0,0.0,0.1705863062018752,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Meme_juice_,2019/03/12,"Rant (TW- depression, hospitals, ptsd, anxiety, worst fuckin nurses ever) I can’t really find a place to vent and it seemed like a good idea to put it in here and possibly give some advise to inpatients and others who aren’t treated properly

(My mental health has improved a lot since I was last in hospital so that’s a good thing atleast idk)

So a few months ago I was admitted into a local hospital for I think the fourth or fifth time. Keep in mind that this was a children’s hospital, with colourful things, game stations and even a whole floor dedicated to having fun. 

So the entire vibe of the hospital is okay, the colours and children are kind of overwhelming but I can deal with it on my way up to the top floor. Not only is this floor packed up to the top, essentially shoving us up out of sight and out of mind. 

So after I’m admitted I settle into a room and unpack my things. I say goodbye to my mum and try to have a nap as I was extremely exhausted. A nurse a few minutes later is banging on my door telling me to come “socialise” and “stop being moody”

Big red flags here, I haven’t ever had a nurse tell my depressed little sad bean self thins like that. I had previously spoken to nurses about this and that if I couldn’t come out that it was ok and they wouldn’t push it 

So eventually I get up, sobbing because I’m a bit of a wreck and the same nurse tells me I’m behaving worse than her 6 year old (wtf)?


(Thought I’d mention that the same nurse last time I was there have my roommate my medication by accident. I take 150mg of quetipine, the regular dose for others there was 12.5mg. Needless to say when I was given my right meds I couldn’t sleep because I was afraid she would die from an overdose)



Fast forward to the next morning and I’m feeling just as horrible, and the nurse came in twice to tell me breakfast was there. I couldn’t even think straight and just couldn’t reply to her.

I wrapped the blankets over my head and she literally tried ripping it off me, after tugging for a while I let the blanket go and just layed there having a full on panic attack

We had phones in the nurses station that we could use to call our parents so I asked for the phone. Instead of bringing one for me she literally makes me come to the nurses station or she’s refuse.

After calming down I went to get the phone and called my mum, I was sobbing again and I ran to my room. She was two hours away but legit drove all the way to come and see me and we had a full on meeting with the nurse with her and my brother and I ended up getting aggressive and lashing out at her (I had to be moved to a new pod with more “high risk” patients)

Idek what to say I’m just so angry that she treated me like that and is treating other kids the same way today. Please don’t take people’s bs and just nail down ur blankets my dudes",3.719825904121109,4.674144010344829,4.616038687973088,87.16404962153072,71.82758620689657,7.5895710681244735,27.249789739276704,7.8500785054351265,1.4571820857863749,2226,76,473,28,41,722,279,580,0.13,0.8009999999999999,0.068,-0.9931,2,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,5,0,1,2,27,28,3,4,40,2,42,8,2,2,3,87,76,42,1,8,11,4,2,3,0,2,4,3,3,4,26,45,1,3,9,2,0,14,10,15,0,3,23,10,64,13,74,43,14,84,0,6,5,1,48,44,3,6,28,320,90,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774860332611759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687043213445801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171902075256902,0.09944449996540657,0.0821270549306879,0.0,0.0,0.10657187087653157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954319657640868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785161623056664,0.0999767758482389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011930053411682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979188208047163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011859598071746,0.15057676152827404,0.0,0.09072052207695866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742165567021238,0.0,0.0,0.1154704517202778,0.1581394789372583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04419845842530128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989357148914189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700849340338198,0.08385417166291756,0.04967861906939306,0.14663515426732882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971058959316792,0.09291555121254323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235625592383392,0.0,0.0,0.08608384477320638,0.0,0.0,0.09867823330330804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769637288391178,0.0,0.0910268155817622,0.0,0.14250594064111022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938534918474972,0.0,0.1281162049989192,0.08761043175409029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431510261544352,0.0,0.0,0.058348617535105125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709573987488636,0.08805904088548325,0.08809138381014663,0.0,0.17652370044894874,0.0,0.06977193715395866,0.0929058051149969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442367467876627,0.09296433680795806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172486375117672,0.0,0.059233068709455536,0.06648125346735409,0.0,0.10255990168508933,0.097061394734551,0.0,0.0,0.06060091992342328,0.0,0.09132760641724656,0.09595283177018912,0.0,0.09854462025232913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218070113856703,0.08787384908983079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05599877701438242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464991894745987,0.0,0.20854212503622127,0.0,0.0,0.06965655859544287,0.07957718660099335,0.0911904499540173,0.0,0.0,0.07230864104451801,0.0,0.08747577070918594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730808830788513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144685681068144,0.0,0.3056100091083213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421922630333328,0.11202098329284137,0.0,0.06939587393446606,0.1019420294096079,0.0,0.08285696405039326,0.0,0.0,0.1186948924704637,0.0,0.08538945001666473,0.0,0.1051466459054042,0.07549645714791338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081522603079191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103239520294522,0.0,0.09759309349197473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908095041979013,0.062095433130151985,0.0,0.0,0.0562908757336672
mentalhealth,boxershorts711,2019/03/12,"worried about a loved one Hey, 

sorry about anything that might be ignorant in this post I don't know much about what is happening and want to know what would help, 

​

This person has been struggling for a long time and they have been getting better (seemingly) for a long time. This is a younger sibling, and has learned that, through going to therapy, most of their pent up anxiety and anger is against me. I was a 3 sport athlete that was honor roll and earned an athletic scholarship in the same high school as them and in a very athletic/ academic driven family. I followed an older sibling who earned academic  scholarship and went to Ivy League while also being an athlete in high school. We have one more very young sibling who is the last person in the house. (this is all background sorry if it doesn't help but the concerned sibling is the 3rd child in the family of 4)

​

I haven't really always gotten along with this sibling. They would consistently not do homework and nor turning in assignments and quit sports in the later years of high school which lead to stress with our parents but while also testing high in standardized tests along with the SAT. They almost didn't apply/go to college and once they decided to go it was a great relief to the entire family even though they would have found work without school because they are smart enough.  We have always fought with it ending with the the sibling attacking me with really insensitive comments that go in every category of insult. I have always just laughed at them and insulted back because I can't just fight them like I would a person at the bar or in the street. They are family so I could never hurt them. This went away with very personal conversations about my own demons once I left for college and would regularly continue almost always, with certain exceptions/ outbursts/ fights like childhood, it was pretty solid at home and with the relationship. 

​

So after them going to therapy over anxiety issues and several years of me being in college and them being a first year there was just another scary explosion. This is one that started over a videogame where we were trash talking one another (which we have always done, and usually they win). It turned into more once I said ""you are arguing like Trump does"" (because from my perspective he was just talking over me and ignoring whatever I was saying but he took offense because in our liberal town that would be considered a very deep insult \[our parents are very republican and he might be also\]).  This lead to the regular fights that we had when we were younger;  he called me fat (I struggle with my weight), calls me a drug addict that will die in 10 years (because of my weed usage in the past), tells me I peaked in high school, sexual activity, etc. Either way, he was saying this to me in the late hours of the night while a room away and a family sleeping. I felt that we needed to talk about it face to face, but it only made things far worse because I would continue argue my point (which I shouldn't of done in retrospect of how he reacted) and he would get angrier and angrier. That is when he would start telling me to commit suicide and how I will die soon anyway and how I am a waste of a human and further devastating things to hear from a sibling. Im not going to sit here and say  that  this was his fault because it wasn't, there was an argument that I probably made worse and and i've learned that our relationship growing up has caused some of his issues. I can't change these things that happened in the past even though I wish I could, but I really don't know how we can move on with him almost violently exploding on me. I have been thinking of not returning home anymore and just moving in with friends instead of coming home on break or just staying at school instead of coming home at all. 

​

I just want help from this community to understand what is happening with my sibling and try and learn what they are going through. I know I will never actually understand what is happening, but if I can learn was to help them and even myself be comfortable around each other after this recent fight that would possibly help save this relationship and also my family. Any advice would be appreciated or comments on what I should or should not do moving forward. 

​

Thank you guys ",10.449963369963367,8.12696444810745,9.485450549450553,68.73454945054945,58.975579975579976,12.974163614163615,39.639316239316244,11.43576647940075,4.4086277411477415,3509,133,622,74,35,1107,332,819,0.134,0.759,0.107,-0.9836,3,0,1,0,4,2,87.0,12,2,17,11,39,37,14,3,40,0,86,9,4,10,6,149,132,63,3,22,26,2,2,3,1,19,3,5,6,7,52,60,3,2,15,3,2,20,17,21,0,5,33,7,81,16,103,70,13,115,1,1,0,1,89,53,0,14,42,467,133,26,0.0,0.0,0.03874359579086141,0.043281231121121054,0.0,0.03879650601288609,0.0,0.0,0.11926798018870055,0.0,0.0,0.12699926033673492,0.16517695079439426,0.21508645067212265,0.2412124418360155,0.02699884051420297,0.08326238457940831,0.06074411056510304,0.0,0.039373889407393774,0.0,0.0,0.032671507263480684,0.035343353189718804,0.0,0.045166955769359515,0.07460300084594979,0.030528521983572438,0.0,0.1694145420746679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03511334751370282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108071949459948,0.0,0.0,0.04078507029607932,0.041999636936193,0.06839981675717298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339791244534575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240917917931312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03474364097902855,0.08125821885797646,0.0,0.0,0.04604191851066497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035164342909497465,0.0410229599396012,0.044278420033519006,0.07866873664202692,0.0,0.033450794863273944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22456606369214685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03812031422932918,0.0,0.0,0.033770649858954435,0.0,0.04353138575871949,0.03067380199744676,0.0,0.04148549568673869,0.0,0.15794562732775402,0.0,0.0,0.043771788209725784,0.0,0.03931139531696206,0.14043400929309316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04474723680490278,0.0,0.1330576554209777,0.20973763897382772,0.15929807497474968,0.0,0.03909864508022443,0.04581097955036525,0.042501999585423035,0.0,0.04288516203641786,0.0828775117128227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727710853548991,0.03236257168595077,0.044785782818832734,0.0,0.043136529414117296,0.0,0.0,0.05818943195991081,0.0,0.0,0.07027035121940055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03583276310496348,0.07513431607779843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423546739868389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659138690844268,0.029185666889972737,0.02943865977287847,0.06124152999853401,0.0,0.0,0.03725780183308845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684456223088614,0.10761288539493227,0.030195293212758063,0.0,0.0,0.08816913402778125,0.0,0.07580043705711012,0.0,0.13866563165527204,0.0,0.0,0.037531388347421785,0.04475823706483133,0.03802370905179965,0.04039138526720305,0.04280565976138841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042228150257131086,0.0,0.0,0.07630269000578294,0.0,0.039201108206039816,0.12787583380231807,0.0,0.0,0.03776586022756618,0.09471828950656776,0.0,0.2410843248004349,0.0,0.03614336910243863,0.0,0.04485215708916064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0397308475369363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888666912099953,0.05620280776477239,0.04231723611506588,0.0,0.0,0.045478707438425935,0.08301066736370127,0.0,0.043427735636605375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573331336330328,0.06940290196476866,0.03655242867745352,0.09080579461348223,0.0,0.07912908296941545,0.025439550701084567,0.07801437091534921,0.0,0.046301315155531264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044110577369565175,0.026955170774287468,0.08636913148639112,0.0,0.08266272890487428,0.0,0.0,0.04372633679258494,0.16379226203189273,0.046834743044788185,0.03151373861095216,0.0,0.048346553444642594,0.0,0.07360862815519963,0.0,0.0,0.04565554200393939,0.038271480021838916,0.0,0.028903656324073757,0.04031948600439828,0.08091981655904178,0.3102361468868453,0.0,0.2412124418360155,0.10226759631213414
mentalhealth,kugekiyokai,2019/03/12,"So I made a drawing of how I perceive my anxiety to be It was actually pretty disturbing. I ended up drawing  a personification of my anxiety. It was a women with stringy hair, scribbled eyes, and a scribbled mouth",3.5875000000000017,6.229834750000002,6.599999999999998,65.555,76.5,9.0,37.5,9.516144504307137,4.5752500000000005,170,11,27,5,4,62,28,40,0.172,0.746,0.08199999999999999,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,3,3,3,2,0,5,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,5,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.3981258342122032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6242012182543539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613457416533815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3860368617810704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150583761325725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GlobalBoardq,2019/03/12,"Really worrying about a friend... Hi,

So my friend struggles with depression. This has been the case for the past few years. Recently they've gotten much worse. It could be because our latest project was due in last week but I don't want to jump to conclusions. We're also starting a new project which basically involves speaking to strangers, something she's really not comfortable with.

They've had a suicide attempt before, they've been in counseling but no longer are as it didn't help. They're on antidepressants atm. I've offered to speak to someone at college for them or contact one of the many mental health services for them, but they didn't want to and of course I shouldn't force them to.

Last week was particularly bad. We're in college Monday to wednesday only. Tuesday and Wednesday she ended up just completely blanking out. She wasn't in yesterday and probably won't be in today. If she's missing this much time it would be important to tell someond, as getting under 90% attendance stops us going through to the next year. She's also spoke about wanting to just ""give up"" I don't know what to do in situations like these. I want to help but if I push her I know it will just make things worse. If I speak to someone I know she won't be happy about it. It just makes me feel completely useless in situations like this.

I've struggled with mental health myself, I'm certainly not great but I'm much better than I was.

I'm from the UK btw.

Any advice is appreciated.
",2.9654884056229736,5.4869741010452975,3.852233569626339,85.07083623693383,78.02439024390246,6.8854499579478565,26.62129040009612,7.990435384864732,1.8125605911330056,1185,48,224,21,29,379,158,287,0.196,0.731,0.07200000000000001,-0.9885,0,0,1,0,0,1,32.0,2,0,4,3,11,15,0,2,8,0,25,2,0,2,1,38,45,17,1,10,15,0,1,2,2,5,2,4,0,0,13,7,0,1,5,0,1,4,11,6,0,1,11,5,25,9,43,24,4,39,0,3,0,0,27,13,0,4,24,141,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509186453952034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17200761660720698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313438197502416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979569837980296,0.06555851815559413,0.0,0.09151299168351344,0.0,0.0,0.09511493532983356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255180629088834,0.0,0.0,0.08586604196498636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262847009506488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525307151212817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437805333231641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617821426275087,0.0,0.056187896039111264,0.1031670963486158,0.06112038051727305,0.0,0.0,0.11856889472627215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448379959404853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286309061107401,0.0,0.0,0.14417047859725388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731198650787475,0.1753272832682826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508224459064147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357442993417036,0.10903389043545107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21676040919126494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371741530238184,0.0,0.0,0.1038677647988758,0.11437547473494515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287536905304587,0.08179292390382469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266400356511976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595184874829867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779233898752544,0.0,0.1061878498032753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24177048299661602,0.0,0.0,0.18224529349616586,0.08279350170125419,0.0,0.0,0.07612100247370675,0.0,0.0,0.08991255123413204,0.0,0.2248590583653003,0.0,0.11763692610010686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399919118371786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144821121946919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271043504163168,0.0,0.10194021625665774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936355978165054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537316360484276,0.0,0.17253244596356818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921730838519134,0.2191953676849426,0.07639698068093143,0.0,0.0,0.13851108621543673
mentalhealth,WHIT3STKIDuKNOW,2019/03/12,"Marijuana and depression What is the general consensus on weed and depression?

I have been dealing with depression for over a year now and anxiety on and off for the past couple months. I have been smoking to help relax and get my mind away but recently I have quit in order to pass a drug test for a job soon. I have been more anxious, and have in general felt way less than usual. 

Is this possibly due to a dependency on weed? ",3.5782142857142856,5.462988011904763,5.244761904761905,78.83357142857143,73.64285714285714,10.038095238095238,28.66666666666667,10.290406445055957,3.2577095238095244,339,14,66,11,7,115,54,84,0.138,0.8170000000000001,0.045,-0.7845,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,6,0,10,1,0,1,0,13,12,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,4,1,5,1,16,8,2,19,0,3,0,0,2,8,0,1,8,50,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653179639807546,0.2311594871068331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19224483872535988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22640532696830196,0.0,0.0,0.2109516159454444,0.5287101539234668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23729129118991704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19646484935130573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690417727575467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715076990214176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305125548810715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20660530413913164,0.0,0.16332370394919232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953305179700028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306754411642965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176358549602008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20203505594868165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253572234205277,0.0,0.0,0.16241581513338155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317669352232485
mentalhealth,Tdzoey,2019/03/12,"Why do I keep coming back? i don’t even know how to explain it properly but it just feels like i’m in a cycle with people that’ll push me around , guilt trip me when i don’t deserve it, and put all the blame on me - pushing me further and further down. but, i’ll eventually get the idea that ‘hey I don’t deserve this I need to leave’ but I always always always go back it’s like I crave it after dealing w it my whole life especially with my parents. it feels like the closer I get too leaving the longer I stay the next time it happens and so on and so on. I feel so stupid doing this but I always want to give ppl a chance and the benefit of the doubt.. this happens to you guys too....right?",0.4800223713646545,2.3722895302013463,2.539033557046981,94.55132438478748,83.22818791946308,5.0471588366890385,20.000447427293068,6.079149491110277,-0.11032116331096242,536,15,124,4,15,180,83,149,0.08,0.7979999999999999,0.122,0.644,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,13,7,1,2,9,0,6,1,0,1,1,26,22,14,0,2,5,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,13,9,0,1,6,0,0,6,3,3,0,0,0,3,18,4,14,21,2,22,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,1,9,80,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.491914776303795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157039764425008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272930785774044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731377016248935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237190788091756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761832638989827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22419135681273472,0.21117198390072286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544353512433792,0.14178006193956466,0.08399627053790779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634196947978265,0.2613922672572481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684448432774662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136849773249845,0.0,0.0,0.08122520105559161,0.0,0.0,0.3129907301021084,0.0,0.0,0.10439318001756498,0.2166180062361936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958938026169283,0.0,0.0,0.1571834670764697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411074469525527,0.0,0.0,0.10246362238096196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485765051368785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126217574179852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753161713259428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618144426993825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717432289024532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336353336706447,0.16500973733051452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,omoksha,2019/03/12,"I can't connect love with sex. I'll try to make this as short as I can.  

If you're trigger by cheating in relationships, do not read this.  I deal with this guilt already.  I'm looking for help, not for hatred.

Basically, I feel comfortable getting into relationships that have the potential to last a long time.  I don't ever feel afraid of long-term relationships, at least I don't think so :)

BUT...

In every single one of my relationships, I have completely stopped having sex with them after about 3 months.  Sometimes, even less time than that.  

I couldn't and still can't quite figure out why.  One huge problem is that I DO want to have sex but with other people.  I have always felt awful because I just stop seeing my SO as someone I want to have sex with.  But I certainly don't feel ""in love"" with other people that I have had sex with just to get off.

After some time, I started to realize that, the more I felt closer and comfortable with my partner, the more I cared for and fell in love with them, the less I felt sexually attracted.  It's as if my brain does NOT want sex associated with someone I love, which isn't how it should be.  And while my partners have varied in their reactions -- from ""You don't love me"" to just not approaching me for sex anymore and just carrying on as normal -- they nearly always decide to stay because we still have care about each other.  One of them left because he developed a sexual attraction for someone else, but once that faded for him, he still called me and told me how much he missed me... despite the fact that our relationship was pretty much sexless.

I'm sorry if this is confusing or nonsensical, but I've never really been able to share it with many people.  I try talking about it with some friends, but they have never experienced this.  It obviously interferes with my life because I'm at worst a cheater.

Has anyone else had this problem?  Is this common?  Is it some sort of psychological issue?  How do I fix it?  It's not as easy as...""You need to make the effort to initiate sex"" because my feeling just isn't there.

Thanks in advance to anyone that reads and responds.",4.753521091396053,5.935701337378642,5.588553732842318,80.2994660194175,69.60679611650485,8.498292601272183,28.04184800803482,8.841846274778883,2.1090581519919662,1669,57,321,29,29,546,192,412,0.14,0.747,0.113,-0.9407,0,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,2,1,6,3,19,23,1,3,9,1,34,15,1,6,6,84,66,29,0,12,20,0,7,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,27,24,0,3,11,2,0,3,16,8,0,3,8,10,43,15,62,55,13,41,0,1,2,13,33,17,0,9,20,232,70,2,0.07811703991440061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620409604879295,0.0,0.1299992700687505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747111292029328,0.109242501239591,0.08004013883698828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380971123783397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872044514006796,0.07976623176125945,0.0,0.15929105684105413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190423011136967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053523804403498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836074805053438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051352617771084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051595568124111736,0.07066133488751207,0.06581697528818746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799329014058985,0.0,0.22501382611666929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060353031260170074,0.0,0.08162585838670408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05236020521809226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153389422650395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367581367266636,0.0,0.0,0.08487439243437025,0.0,0.05517637548687078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826224424871192,0.06559863924885642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525183920780577,0.0,0.10428746146323692,0.07919841751896563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062352275979641526,0.0,0.11485002519779287,0.057922795279109374,0.1204973538894795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653811329808956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319209804445375,0.15880238379264314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246955887211126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947311317573191,0.0,0.14949491452279906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308708756547142,0.15627635898962727,0.0,0.05004377607029178,0.0,0.0,0.41934233190992665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062249166964525086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19856494326028676,0.0,0.07725974992288072,0.08744563064791604,0.055291642917610635,0.0832623707458618,0.18715310695060336,0.1306186864358807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278751766231473,0.0,0.07191967499787333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050054244949323166,0.0,0.0,0.13665202252404354,0.0,0.0,0.07464417927041096,0.0,0.10607268472941234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822636225268475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048847819444565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cremrytelevision,2019/03/12,Anyone here get the urge to rape/murder a someone? Anyone here getting that same feeling? I really just want to hear them scream. Lemme know your experiences with this.,3.515000000000001,6.713554833333338,3.4616666666666696,83.6025,84.0,5.666666666666668,20.833333333333336,7.1686216300943375,1.0003333333333335,135,4,22,2,4,41,27,30,0.09,0.7959999999999999,0.114,-0.2457,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,3,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5172851462505564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618330278865219,0.0,0.0,0.1870324765306692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865148052660197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4169040102699837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20328728180388825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369673133598044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134149393905359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181765131159683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SeraZero,2019/03/12,"Mental/emotional abuse from ex is damaging my new relationship sorry for the formatting, I'm on mobile.
This is a long post so sorry in advance and thank you for reading.

Some info to give context, I am currently 19 and I am trans mtf and open about it to my family and friends (who are all very supportive). A few years ago before I came out to people, I was dating this girl that I was head over heels for. She was my everything and I wanted to spend my life with her, I was young and blinded by love, I didn't see all the red flags until afterword. 

Our relationship started out alright, we became good friends before we started dating, however once we started dating things started to go bad. It was like every other week she had some new person that she claimed was ""trying to take her away"" from me, and she would demand that I do what she wanted or else she would go with them. being the dumb and love sick kid I was, I would listen to her. I had to respond to all her messages immediately, I was never allowed to say no or to argue with her, I was not allowed to interrupt her when she was with friends, I was not allowed to make plans  with friendsbecause she might need me for something, etc etc. We dated three years and as I was learning more about myself I came to her and told her that I think I might be transgender. She did not like that, she got very angry with me and told me that if I am trans then I can never be with her, she then kept making threats to leave me for someone else so I took back what I said. finally I had enough one day and broke it off with her after some family members died.

fast forward a few years and I have come out to people and I have started dating my current boyfriend. He is really sweet and caring, but he has commented recently on my behavior that makes me worry. He talkes to me about how it seems like I'm afraid to say no to him and that whenever he messages me I drop whatever I'm doing to message back. He is worried about my mental health and he asks me all the time if I'm ok. I always say yes even when something is wrong. He knows a little about my ex but not everything and I think it might be hurting our relationship. I don't know what to do.",3.920895737327189,4.778788508928578,4.9805040322580645,85.09473790322583,71.27678571428572,8.012788018433179,26.50518433179723,8.259297600419973,1.564077534562212,1724,54,359,25,31,567,205,448,0.105,0.8170000000000001,0.078,-0.872,6,0,2,0,1,1,40.0,6,1,1,2,13,24,3,1,8,3,44,8,2,7,6,80,85,33,1,8,10,2,0,3,3,6,4,5,0,3,21,37,0,1,7,1,1,8,10,9,0,2,25,9,78,15,54,50,13,57,0,3,3,2,67,12,1,11,40,262,99,2,0.0,0.09320809358242556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973396969567518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545764077460392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354346940837864,0.0,0.07391068194738983,0.12098086420469885,0.06568405533575387,0.0,0.0,0.13388045347687333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994926734146258,0.08020673325161352,0.0,0.0,0.0677650636606211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050734013109442255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164441862660476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314331612515888,0.08849032055536853,0.0,0.08128453038765368,0.17547005793979562,0.05195912503268062,0.0,0.0662807402381066,0.0,0.14140250729766662,0.0,0.14832138762533129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861763731719405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233488716347646,0.0,0.0,0.07546500987975724,0.08941707739848427,0.06598254532873338,0.06291756583608514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073552449103892,0.08361984682675594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421515858250739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086467173399294,0.0,0.0,0.0832974968987398,0.0,0.0,0.05556516377290708,0.11529886330361315,0.07884547622114314,0.0,0.06961823948654823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200093439222045,0.0,0.1575334504450466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855662318811112,0.2503612764498543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833093561272652,0.1213464121916463,0.15195507432424954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377829300425432,0.05330711670894914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907624343669764,0.06868940446155751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753416949538224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868876312071735,0.0,0.0503963986148767,0.0,0.07767464063770624,0.2533782816709184,0.0,0.0,0.07483078300062145,0.18767859981334226,0.0,0.0,0.06268779213186837,0.07161591431834442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665469593015225,0.12112413056100665,0.0,0.17612359439350198,0.27840621705218604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927091790715433,0.0,0.0,0.05914815059980985,0.06322993620033945,0.0,0.07242644128920693,0.0,0.0,0.05226317456244437,0.1008138825211581,0.0,0.0,0.04587163705750747,0.0,0.0,0.15034028637279906,0.08740245881556016,0.05341005137447096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981781051387822,0.0928002294282777,0.0,0.06310230296306117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978127810203785,0.0,0.16764935059493313,0.08601053403149886,0.0,0.15197782325455678
mentalhealth,sumi430,2019/03/12,"Feeling empty, but emotions change constantly ? I go from feeling sad to angry to overly excited so many times throughout the day. I thought it was just mood swings because I am a teenager but its starting to take over my life. I am scared that people are going to all hate me and I overthink everything everyone says. I constantly feel empty and guilty of myself. I question my existence in this world and i take drugs, and cut myself when I feel angry. Since I was very little I always knew I wasn't going to be here for a long time. I don't want to sound like a dramatic angsty teen but I am so broken and I don't know whats wrong with me.  I am so confused with myself. I want to change my identity and everything around me. But sometimes I seem to love myself and everyone else. But I can snap and everything changes.  How can I stop feeling this way? ",1.6897430340557271,4.169674841176473,3.1006501547987635,88.76871517027867,82.94117647058823,6.1671826625387,23.653250773993808,7.475848149327749,1.241352941176471,673,25,132,11,19,219,98,170,0.249,0.644,0.107,-0.9817,0,0,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,2,2,4,0,13,3,0,1,1,33,32,18,0,2,6,0,5,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,11,0,1,10,0,0,3,3,6,0,0,5,7,30,3,17,26,1,19,0,1,0,1,3,6,0,3,10,91,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061902669051722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360907470715285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779611654568634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050158906607589,0.0,0.0,0.27582429285897925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230449997141343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799896692485834,0.0,0.10661033844433727,0.14355559789659542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438932254142817,0.3440905403855957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32264315100351704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175885779519895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599857018628025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013674884360659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014195290038407,0.062348805136608225,0.1279090120742174,0.0,0.11293990044647292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518225332789638,0.0,0.0,0.12938689717809215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847580867939206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296388115422662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014887407628663,0.12777012832012552,0.0,0.0,0.11618067755160327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556878507794476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262196850951352,0.0,0.09033026594597683,0.0,0.0,0.10669623889498572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190908272325016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131621884822037,0.1488327817767545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530006722196301,0.15054745351704366,0.10129900988553696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953270324714853,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,huffpuffpuffpass,2019/03/12,"Instagram is blocking posts that are hashtagged with different subjects surrounding mental health due to it ""encouraging behaviour that can cause harm and even lead to death"" I hope it is ok that I am posting this on here. I will delete it if need be. However, I do think this is very important to talk about and raise awareness.

If you now make a post on Instagram and do a y of the following: #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #anorexia #bpd etc, the post will be blocked.

This. Is. NOT. OK.

Centuries of this crap has cause stigma and abuse. We are (or at least some countries) have been making profess with stopping the stigma of mental health (albiet we still have a long way to go) and Instagram just too years of steps backwards.

It is so. So. So. So. Important to talk about mental health / illness. If we don't talk about it, it's shoved back in the box, and all the hard work that so many advocates have done, will unravel.

Please keep this conversation going and if you have an IG account, please seriously consider making a post protesting this archaic new rule.

Talking about mental illness allows others to know they are not alone, it fights against stigma, it gives those who feel voiceless a voice, and it advances help for those who need it.

All of us on here are warriors. So let's do something and fight this. ",3.7637585034013625,6.380214673469387,3.899821428571432,85.28497023809527,75.73469387755101,7.511904761904763,27.35119047619048,8.472884824447931,2.1512210884353737,1045,42,192,21,24,322,140,245,0.138,0.7709999999999999,0.091,-0.9136,2,1,1,0,3,0,42.0,4,2,1,3,18,11,4,0,11,2,28,6,1,7,2,42,42,20,1,7,8,0,2,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,26,14,0,4,3,0,1,6,3,7,0,0,2,3,11,4,24,34,5,27,0,1,0,0,19,7,1,7,8,135,37,2,0.0,0.11826742999896127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338083953436072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636012382857907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675350572367494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571666268088275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050801626161327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597267722815069,0.0,0.0,0.1042880554587462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214797115902648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132291197414496,0.06592852558641417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047073348654478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575405343348782,0.11345718526669757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941688501742097,0.0,0.0,0.3183040442414507,0.0,0.0,0.06690557454716121,0.0,0.0,0.09914131234802803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872239142282679,0.0,0.0,0.0548570944011734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207016934605892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833535746383624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988689401235948,0.1011992906685826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023703009693855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802684142984754,0.0,0.0964043755478046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21913930811578847,0.0,0.0,0.4779879241964433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768443977434267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971439439972368,0.08345190995898184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320918142019479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639590315375931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006817729773744,0.0,0.0,0.08235990152502899,0.0,0.0792304952775531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266833790049489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427920538630782
mentalhealth,TheBaneOfDanes,2019/03/12,"Dealing with depression and anxiety at work? First off, sorry for the long post!

Only recently got a job. I work mainly with the public. It's stressful and I mostly deal with upset customers. I have to just stand there and smile while I get verbally abused and there's not much I can do about it.

I'm mentally exhausted and super stressed. Apart from my own work, my manager and supervisors just pile on constantly. 

At work I mainly try to just repress the feelings, which is probably not healthy. I haven't eaten in 2 days, I do have lunch breaks at work, which I just don't take as I have a ton of stuff to do and I feel like I'm letting down the public I'm supposed to be assisting when I do take a break, I get home at 5/6pm, I feed the dog, then just go to bed. 

I feel like I need a break, but I cannot relax. Hobbies I love (training dogs for example) is just a chore at this point. 

I almost cried at work yesterday. I feel like I cannot handle things anymore. I'm overwhelmed. 

I'm ashamed to say that, yesterday, after what felt like my millionth angry customer, I wanted to go lock myself in the bathroom and self harm, which I haven't done in months. 

How does one even cope with the stress of work? ",2.4629965156794427,4.188979585365857,3.6566202090592337,89.71085365853659,76.3170731707317,6.962137049941927,24.315911730545878,7.793537801064563,1.147449709639954,942,31,201,14,21,306,134,246,0.19,0.746,0.064,-0.9827,1,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,0,9,12,17,0,7,12,0,18,5,0,1,0,32,39,14,0,2,9,0,5,4,0,0,1,1,3,1,10,12,3,1,5,1,0,2,7,10,0,2,4,6,27,7,31,33,6,33,0,2,0,1,7,14,0,2,16,130,37,9,0.0,0.1255090532253791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607302299503818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103572425630493,0.0,0.10505353079443497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447208206075128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635850514813248,0.06831571923589562,0.21841718263685814,0.09123686311819808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269955832241884,0.10840258513417723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996538968479066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142444111804005,0.2270280185676283,0.1017088650640736,0.0,0.0,0.09010351931957084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068751053663503,0.0,0.12040427279568612,0.0,0.08472144226777142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625585557285296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511861441739052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832001944483348,0.0,0.20700707581653496,0.0,0.0,0.09374421243201858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560544662854893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675195089874268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455186065894947,0.0,0.07787031968465162,0.07854533035835254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178052346278753,0.0805641051243924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001375510739708,0.0,0.1014511126513644,0.0,0.11420984219747116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459253302331484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842393346897033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050749817832048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857932467758922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640254136140742,0.0,0.12126385432688715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929149704686166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037480658355516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719191297996105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624799225420334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5398252082253926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,camberries,2019/03/12,"After a traumatic event when I was 13, I have suffered from multiple mental illnesses and suicide attempts, and four years later I’m being discharged from therapy! I’m seventeen years old now, diagnosed with Anxiety, depression and PTSD. I’ve been through the worst and best four years of my life, and I don’t think I’d change any of it. I went through pain, emotional and physical, that I thought would be the end of me. I had hallucinations, I went blind, I broke bones and I missed my entire highschool experience. I gained weight, went on anti-psychotics, I attempted suicide. I have no formal qualifications for anything and yet my future is bright. 

No matter what you’re going through now, I believe you can find your way and make it work. The suffering builds you as a person and I wouldn’t change who I am or what I’ve went through. 

Today my therapist told me I no longer needed ongoing support and that she’d see me one more time before my 18th birthday. 

I’m learning to drive now, I play video games and I work at youth clubs and I’m on a committee in my town. I’m going back into education after my 18th birthday and I’m going on little family trips in between to do the things I love with the people I love. 

I’m so happy with these things in my life. I still have no friends and I still find it hard to get myself washed most days, but I wouldn’t trade this for anything anymore. 

Please have hope and use all your strength to come out the other end! ",4.027074551745834,5.527317622837373,4.803770053475937,84.01923796791446,71.73356401384083,8.022711544510852,27.66923560868197,8.575989854853784,1.942991695501731,1159,42,230,20,22,374,161,289,0.127,0.757,0.116,0.4991,0,0,0,0,0,2,30.0,0,4,0,7,9,17,0,0,9,0,18,11,1,2,1,39,46,21,2,5,2,0,2,0,1,3,7,0,0,1,13,22,1,0,5,4,1,10,7,7,0,3,9,5,40,10,31,31,5,45,0,5,3,2,12,11,0,3,23,149,53,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301796417649703,0.0,0.0821407735425264,0.0,0.10648610056887496,0.0,0.0,0.1767192147160561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256393541734654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136731818849346,0.12097366605388203,0.11268233016336525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22717479171889196,0.0924931455302101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692473112895504,0.0,0.09248102094354148,0.1089822933249923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078123527092435,0.19020288886146933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503232103187593,0.10122259870940356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19627567981010893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295684306251212,0.0,0.056098454233710085,0.0,0.1830692610455728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430156038513152,0.09618596375750237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066465542220662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516827846571921,0.0,0.10761690039935352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19381835389314064,0.0,0.07167294163485524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820768129698403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961641921508937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267089236772082,0.0,0.07275936356010405,0.0,0.11425344722853205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443957338109751,0.09375478661194356,0.0,0.1178643471205844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255143949984231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556313190612176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149794133824367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234899335274187,0.12184667962468175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279146311149147,0.1246694252518478,0.14266895504988694,0.0688008879781632,0.0,0.0852429180385001,0.06261061043663645,0.0,0.10177794435064733,0.10260040524844474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273661305763096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852284391898792,0.0,0.13075253752548874,0.0,0.39814688863323744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633902062799765,0.0,0.0,0.07627536936673407,0.0,0.0,0.2074358993307766
mentalhealth,marhasss,2019/03/12,"My anxiety has taken over my entire life. Most recently, a very subtle fear I had of driving over and under bridges has gotten out of hand. I work 20 minutes away and I leave more than an hour sooner than I should to take an extremely long route so I only have to go over one bridge. And even thinking of driving over that bridge makes me tense up and hyperventilate. And there's tons of other things that make my life much harder and I'm constantly on edge. 
I can't leave the house after dark by myself, even to run to the corner store. Now convincing myself to leave the house at all is a struggle. I'm worried it will make me agoraphobic. I cant even look at a picture of the ocean or anything underwater, I hyperventilate, I used to be able to swim in lakes (never the ocean), then my anxiety ruined that, but I could still go into pools, but now that's even too much for me. Underwater documentaries freak me out and I can't even play some of the games I loved because even swimming in a video game makes me hyperventilate and tense up. I can't have a normal conversation with the person at the cash register like I used to. Or anyone I don't know. I'm always wondering what they want from me or what they're trying to take from me. I used to be able to reason with myself and call myself out when my fear and anxiety would take over but I can't even talk myself down anymore. I physically can't make myself do these things. I will literally start shaking and freeze. I've done it in front of strangers and it is mortifying and embarrassing, which ruins me for a few days and leaving the house is an even bigger struggle again because what if I leave and it happens again?
 It's gotten so bad I'm thinking of just ending my life in a real way. Why live when you can't even ""live""
I can't visit any doctors about this because I can't afford insurance or any of the meds they'll probably try to subscribe to me. I'm hoping someone has some advice or ways to bring myself back because I'm not even me anymore. ",4.843458703458705,5.337312004914003,5.794115479115479,81.4028572103572,69.0,8.521980721980723,27.44745794745795,8.502166056373571,1.7542641088641089,1594,48,325,23,26,527,192,407,0.129,0.8240000000000001,0.048,-0.9783,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,2,1,24,15,0,6,20,0,29,6,1,9,2,57,62,29,0,7,11,0,2,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,18,21,0,0,5,7,2,11,12,10,0,1,5,3,48,5,56,49,9,55,0,2,1,1,11,24,0,11,19,230,66,2,0.1453937404741077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103854023369083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060489619662082834,0.0,0.0,0.0988727292861975,0.0,0.16683872025378665,0.0,0.1441915220868087,0.05083134195617246,0.0,0.05982333003031784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830110262234447,0.05589940590229441,0.060698850097641574,0.17726134939421376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423163250938879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855949068996057,0.0,0.0580425354861185,0.0,0.0,0.04688346724087775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440832711777283,0.0,0.07439413806675164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643878494557713,0.0,0.0,0.480155971710619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360837989933774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263061331149947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428560226552586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220439520483216,0.07159177351413509,0.2516472833547814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039952298694883016,0.0,0.0,0.3848774449080947,0.0,0.0,0.15404384805089993,0.03551601873707177,0.0,0.12838533657544504,0.06433444252269692,0.06104706182450096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656117636642532,0.0,0.24262862691841094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074983449709743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688112846666073,0.0,0.05606830794670838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122749782527824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0492612806824171,0.05528924566171354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347610304199405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837952165535386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274495370010275,0.0,0.07474449025033185,0.07177938914331798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061595822241595086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145521892252438,0.0,0.05805581447768673,0.0,0.0,0.151997105909052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16397699754340453,0.058430990588041715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659314066943413,0.09316243815387727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871280588613916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18836026465218844,0.0,0.05998253137772325,0.04287849757677515,0.11540678366678532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559761811410329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883665473121923,0.05292418734812098,0.07382720051578452,0.0,0.05164177084129997,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Suji7498,2019/03/12,"Effects of PUBG on your Health - Mental and Physical Effects of Playing Mobile Games like PUBG #  How Playing PUBG Can Really Effect on your Health:

​

Over the past few months, we are frequently listening to the word “pub-mobile”, which is a record-breaking name in the gaming world. Pubg mobile was released in 2018, march after the popularity of its PC version.

But we know that every unit in this world has come up with some professionals and opposition, similarly, in Pubg Mobile there are also some professionals and Opposition.

>“19 Years Old Boy Killed his Whole Family just because of PUBG Addiction”

* Pain in Eyes and Back pain
* Loss of Mental Control
* Unnecessary Ego and Anger
* Loss of Money
* Loss of Time
* Damaging your Mobile and So your Body

Read More.. on 

*https://pubgmobileupdate.com/effects-of-pubg-on-your-health-technical-and-health-advantages-and-disadvantages-of-playing-pubg/*",8.973700980392161,13.231839360294115,6.7739411764705935,62.64556862745101,67.16176470588235,8.038431372549018,25.978431372549014,8.841846274778883,2.612270196078432,747,23,98,15,15,217,91,136,0.161,0.78,0.059,-0.9501,0,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,2,4,0,7,6,12,2,0,5,0,6,7,2,5,0,22,9,10,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,10,0,1,4,5,1,1,0,8,0,0,1,2,7,4,20,8,6,22,0,4,1,0,12,12,0,2,10,60,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030582978364932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759555633489725,0.0,0.15932824024217132,0.17868142675725793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130721082066623,0.0,0.08964010509608486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633390172318648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266702575028805,0.0,0.0,0.16492869247192452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389567691532133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386253280730192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6252276295610885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626886565351656,0.0,0.0808146449539866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184103388732423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963829324888019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173736320437548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430387697904588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31294240233840703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037553514130008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470894491740388,0.0,0.09420377470218302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574583663424967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417568886273767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868142675725793,0.09469515689674833
mentalhealth,Intrusivethoughts98,2019/03/12,"How can I fix myself? I (F/20) have suffered from OCD and intrusive thoughts and it is ruining me. My intrusive thoughts insist that I have cheated on my husband (we were together for 4 years and got married 2 months ago). I know I haven't cheated but for the past 2 months, my OCD has been convincing me otherwise.  I'm doing awful and quite frankly I don't want to get cognitive behavioral therapy or go on medication because in the past, I went for therapy for 3 years and took meds and it never helped. I want to go for a new kind of solution. I want to get some kind of solution that will erase these thoughts I'm having. I know select memory/thought erasure isn't possible... but is there any kind of therapy to help me forget that I've ever had cheating OCD? I want these thoughts out of my head for good and gradually forget they were ever there. Can a therapist do that for me? I've also heard of ECT but it sounds way too extreme. Any similar solutions? Please help? 

TL;DR I need alternatives to the usual medications and therapy used to treat OCD. ",3.3192753623188413,5.344628584541064,4.85635265700483,80.72771739130438,74.74879227053141,9.044444444444443,29.374396135265695,9.586721724236666,2.972775845410629,835,37,161,23,18,280,112,207,0.135,0.736,0.129,0.6825,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,1,1,7,11,3,0,5,1,18,3,1,2,3,33,40,14,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,9,10,0,0,6,0,0,4,4,5,0,0,12,2,23,6,23,27,1,21,0,2,0,0,7,4,0,2,12,99,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151720444536438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256204945257928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404152811463995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293495282084148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867753763572234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787866125744844,0.0,0.1173488471815992,0.08659392426715266,0.08257151802707115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595538348232557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20760144960435026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225298550331361,0.1134774632841063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146778368038638,0.2080095446573173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481247957410405,0.0,0.0,0.07655213353342702,0.07962607364616364,0.09971111399603393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711105139487284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332797089541954,0.0,0.11638908044531295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980985623305214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4722618059715119,0.11987113441552855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4098103951920434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470490963527115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916735588229062,0.11370573249253145,0.0,0.2435776309947009,0.08194815745333907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957057416204217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296805543168266
mentalhealth,when-in-rome-burner,2019/03/12,"I’m stuck between being lonely and not wanting to talk to people I desperately want to reach out and make connections and friendships with people but as soon as I get to messaging or talking to them it feels forced, uncomfortable, or I get bored; or a combination of the three. It’s like I’m just perpetually unhappy regardless of what the situation is. If I have family calling me and friends messaging me I feel harassed and if I talk to no one I feel lonely. I just recently started living a lone in a state where I know no one and it’s very jarring to be my only company.",4.658947368421051,5.797032570175443,6.632412280701757,72.89230263157896,69.78947368421052,10.261403508771927,32.671052631578945,10.411451182825502,3.636547368421052,459,21,86,13,8,161,71,114,0.275,0.636,0.08900000000000001,-0.974,0,4,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,4,7,1,0,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,25,17,14,0,5,9,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,5,0,3,1,3,13,2,15,14,0,7,0,3,0,0,8,3,0,5,4,63,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145515093861051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807827813390952,0.0,0.318722266215323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233478336612628,0.0,0.21955344680465966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547403308619825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265186376522384,0.0,0.1855359151761949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025378768017574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847595227915376,0.15980237411644493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913353877167512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746379626722672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361787262891344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487208958286587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5066488558231848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733673665638732,0.24786323739120225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jhcukf86438,2019/03/12,"Why do I let people walk all over me? I never stick up for myself, never. As much as I might want to, I keep my mouth shut because it’s easier than wondering what could happen if I don’t. Tonight, I finally did it though, I pointed out politely that someone had cut me in line. He looked at me with a nasty face as if he was saying “how dare you point me out?” And gestured me to go in front of him. Flustered by his reaction, I simply said it’s fine and he turned back around. I don’t know what I’m more angry at myself about, saying something to him, or backing down.",2.428166666666669,3.441606150000002,4.065000000000001,89.66666666666669,75.0,7.0,23.333333333333336,7.3871296695380915,0.7870833333333338,438,12,98,5,9,147,85,120,0.101,0.8390000000000001,0.061,-0.7686,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,6,2,1,0,1,0,9,2,2,1,3,19,19,10,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,6,6,0,1,2,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,4,4,21,1,22,12,3,22,0,0,1,0,10,13,0,5,6,73,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724541739829605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29792142320718623,0.0,0.11809149095308825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546717223507046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21221362494797705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009701051775472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713082438850256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218953632029646,0.0,0.0,0.1064648675191878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19809447029073385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267818278034607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20550905105594772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240839143458006,0.0,0.2988216033905386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343028498613268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36626092273390376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18427454224109754,0.30811195323869645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414051929199175,0.14913711188412307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033145812153046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21071454578967455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142626009781475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480450312579265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21008388192417574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,niny6,2019/03/12,"Isolation From Lack Of Understanding We all crave understanding from others. We want someone else to understand how we feel, what we feel, why we feel it, our past experiences, our goals for the future, our values, morals, principles, ideas, everything about ourselves. I don't think it ever truly happens, sure we can get close, but I don't think we can ever find the understanding we so deeply crave. Most people reply to this logic with ""Come to understand yourself and find solace in it"", that's bullshit. Humans are social creatures, we feel rewarded by being social, we desire being social to some extent. For many people it becomes impossible to live in such isolation, you find understanding of yourself but then you're all alone in your understanding, how can you become content in loneliness? Few do and few desire too. 

Depression, it's a double edged sword. My depression has brought about a lot of sadness for me, feelings of failure, suicide and loss of self. My depression has also come to bring a lot of clarity about myself, who I wish to be, what my values, principles and ideas are. An endless cycle, you feel lonely and lost in your disease and your own mind, filled with ideas about the world and yourself. Many of these ideas are ultimately true. The cycle goes quite simply; Depression -> Introspection -> Depression. I would put a good analogy here, but those have never been my strong suit. The depression gives me the clarity to see the world around me, the blindness that people have, not just blindness to world events, blindness to themselves. 

Few people come to truly question themselves. I feel such a sense of isolation from feeling like I see that much more. From the fake social interactions, to the news, to media, and all the way to the individual. Mental illness, dare I say, comes with a gift for us all, a clarity of the world around us. We see the acts people put up, to be liked, to be polite, to maintain social prowess. It's all bullshit, all of it. Here I am, trying to describe a feeling, my views on the world, how my depression affects me. I imagine it isn't nearly as clear as it is in my head, I imagine many people will struggle to understand what I mean, my personal values leave it to the individual to find the ""truth"", ""Clarity"" and ""understanding"" I've come to find myself, it's not my place to ""enlighten"" others, ignorance is bliss and everyday I wish to go back to feeling ""normal"", ""human"" and to stop envying the people I view as blind to the realities around them.

Consider this a call for understanding from me and others like me. I'm going to write everything I've come to see in the world below and I beg anyone out there who reads this and understands what little sense it might make to respond with their own story, don't message me, I pray there are others like me out there, searching for this exact post, a post which they can relate too. I want them to know they aren't alone, no that WE aren't alone on this blue and green dot in the sky, surrounded by darkness and empty eyes, roaming the streets, shrouded in ignorance, unaware of the meaningless world around them.

This is what I've learned:

**Social situations.** 

Social situations are like watching the summer blockbusters, you know full well all the possible outcomes and where the story is going. Before I enter any social situation, I recall what I know of the person and past interactions, I don't do it consciously, I do it without even realizing it.

 I manipulate and control these situations like puppets, I use my past knowledge of this person to sway the conversation in my favor. For example, I know a friend who's really needy and tries really really hard to fit in and appeal to everyone. I saw this within the first 10 minutes of meeting him, I hadn't said anything more than ""Hi"" before I had categorized him and used my past knowledge of people like him to ensure I made a good impression. I made it seem like I went out of my way to do him a favor, I listened to him talk about cars for 20 minutes and every time he said a big number I made sure to smile and say ""Wow, that's crazy"" or something along those lines. Not the best example but one that shows the shallowness in social interactions. My mind blanks in finding good examples where I've worked to manipulate situations in my favor, I offer another underwhelming example; My friend gave me some shit for something I did, which I fully take blame for, I apologized to him, I knew he was just giving me trouble for what I did but I felt he deserved an apology none the less. He now tries quite hard to maintain my favor in our friend group, he always says stuff like, ""niny6 is my homie"" and ""come over and tell these people about this one story"", even if the story was trash. I don't particularly favor him, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed and lacks confidence in who he is. I still manipulate his emotions to make him feel better, I still say hi to him when I see him and act all happy to see him, I still give him a high five to make him feel good, I still say the stupid story to give the impression we're closer friends that we truly are. 

Do I think I'm a bad person for what I do? Not at all. I only toy with his emotions to stop him from feeling bad, to make sure that when I need something from him, I will get it. I like to think I do it for the better.

Many people have this skill of being able to read and control outcomes of social interactions without realizing it, I've seen it happen dozens of times in my short life. It's the people who know they're doing it that I'm writing this for, I want you to know that you're not alone and that others see this too.

**Principles and Values.**

I hold myself to extremely high moral principles. Without morals, what are we as humans. I try my best to make people feel happy and to give when I can. I'm going to make this simple and list my values.

Being a decent human being, giving to others, going out of your way to be nice to others, respecting others views, treating others the way you wish to be treated (To it's fullest extent), investing in relationships the same you would expect back, offering help whenever you can. I find my values are core to who I am, I will always value them above my own well being. I don't like violence, I despise it. I'm likely one of the few people you'll see willingly take the first few punches and not hit back, I view violence as beneath what people are and should be capable of. Money holds little value to me, I will willingly spend hundreds of dollars a month on my friends and family before myself, whether it be convenience for others or a gift for something someone else did for me.

 I believe that what one is given, one should return equally. If I got to ride shotgun on the way to the store, I offer the spot to the person who sat in the back, it's only fair and I why should I care where I sit? If someone buys me lunch, I offer to buy them lunch next time we're out. If I can't repay you with something equal in value, hopefully the exact same thing you gave me, I will return the favor another way, I'll run out in -40C and grab your vape from your car, run upstairs to grab a blanket for you, grab you a drink when I get up. If others don't return my small favors, I could care less, my values differ from theirs and I find solace in knowing I did something kind, regardless of it being returned. 

I value my relationships far too much, if others continually fail to invest the same amount I do in a relationship, I willingly push them away to arms length, I don't ghost them or cut them off, that's pathetic. I treat them with respect and as friends but I don't go out of my way to offer my company to them, they were given a chance to be a close friend and failed. For example, a friend of mine is horrible to our group. He never goes out of his way to meet up with us, he never offers anything to us, whether it be gifts or favors, he focuses on himself and his interests, he constantly hits on girls who are interested in us, he's a narcissist through and through. I gave him a chance to redeem his months of selfishness, I told him I'd pick him up at the train station if he wanted to hangout since he lived so far away, it was a 10 minute train ride, he refused, multiple times. 

This showed me that he didn't want to go out of his way to have my company so I refused to go out of my way to get his company. He was part of my friend group long before I joined and I very directly told our mutual friend that there was only two ways this would turn out, confront our selfish friend and give him a chance to change or ignore it and live with knowing that you didn't put forth all your effort into maintaining the friendship. 

**Introspection**

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure out why I think the way I do and how this affects. This clarity and understanding of myself, how I act and how it influences others gives me that sense of isolation mentioned at the beginning. I like to think I've found who I am but I also realize that I'm constantly changing who I am. 6 years ago I was a vastly different person than who I am, 3 years ago I was vastly different from 6 years ago and from now, 1 year ago I was even more different than who I am today. Humans are dynamic, who I am is dynamic and constantly changing and I don't know who I will be in 10 years or who I will be in 1 year. In simplistic terms, I feel different than everyone else, superior isn't the right word, ""lost"" or ""aware"" is more like it. I think the clarity and awareness I have of the world makes me different, sometimes I see it as a gift, I'm more aware of who I am, who others are, what the world is. Other times I feel lonely and lost, unsure of who I am, what I want in my future, why no one else seems to see what I see, why everyone seems so utterly ignorant to the world, they go about meaningless tasks, never talking to each other, never understanding each other, they enter relationships for good looks and shallow personalities, they seek approval from others, they make themselves look good not for themselves but for others, they care so deeply about what others think of them that they let life pass them by. 

Even more scary, I've come to try to understand regret, how life's ultimate goals are regret and death. No matter how we live out lives, we'll always have regret. No matter how nice I act, how kind I am, the actions I take and don't, I will always come to regret them. Ask that girl out and get rejected, at least you won't regret not doing it, except you'll come to regret having done it, having been placed in such an embarrassing situation, having been vulnerable and being brushed off for it. Go on that trip to Europe that you've always wanted to do, you come to regret not being at home with your friends and the experiences you could've had, you come to regret not being at work and missing that opportunity to get promoted or make a good impression, you regret stuff that could have or couldn't have happened. You can never truly know. Each decision you make is one with regret, buying the black coffee instead of the one with milk, not going to class that day and coming to regret not going but if you had gone you would've come to regret going, seeing how much time you feel was wasted. Life is regret, you can't escape it, you can't come to accept it, accepting decisions is a falsehood. How can you accept a decision when you can never come to understand where that path could've taken you. The solution to regret isn't accepting it, it's coping with it and understanding how each decision you make is one you'll come to regret at some point, the feeling doesn't go away, it's overridden and forgotten until it comes back with a different decision.

Death is the light at the end of the tunnel of life. As cheesy and over explored the idea of death as life's ultimate goal is, it's true. We are all working towards death. There will be a time after your death when a friend has one final memory of you, one last thought about who you were, what you did together and then you'll be forgotten for who you were, nothing more than a photo in an album. Your great grandparents had that moment, a friend thought about them, the life they lived, the experiences they had and then suddenly, they were lost to time. A final thought for the dead, only to be lived on in photos and stories, never known for who they truly were, what they believed, how they acted, the way they talked, those car rides they loved so dearly and told so few, lost behind videos and images of when they were at their best or times they barely remembered. I recently read that people on their death beds come to regret not living true to themselves, can we ever truly live true to ourselves? The world doesn't work that way. You need to go to school, get a good job, find love, have kids, go on vacations, celebrate holidays, you do all this to find that ""true self"" and many come to believe that this is it. I imagine that on these people's deathbeds they come to regret not doing something differently, what would've happened if they ignored it all, ran away in high school and lived a life somewhere else.

 I guess the question is: What is living your life to your true self and is it ever attainable? Or are we just doomed to regret our lives no matter what we do? Doomed to be forgotten to time, lost to death regretful of all the decisions we made in our lives?

One might wonder why I wrote this on a mental health subreddit, I think it's as I stated in the beginning; Mental illness gives one a sense of understanding, clarity and introspection that many people never find themselves. I suffer from anxiety and depression, many days I don't feel it, mainly because many days the depression has me void inside, feeling nothing and seeing nothing. Many days I do feel it, it lingers as sadness and loneliness, a time to come to understand why the world has fucked us all so bad, why we were blessed with the absolutely wonderful gift of mental illness.

I speak out to the void of the internet; if anyone feels this way, write it below, help that lonely soul out there who feels the way you and I do. Help us find solace in knowing we're not alone and that some shared experience might bring a connection. If only I could yell this out in person, if only I could say something in person to each and everyone on this blue speck and get to know each of you for the person you are beyond the persona you put on for the world. I feel a sense of sorrow for all us, we're all doomed to never be truly understood. I offer an opportunity for the reader of this to take the sense of understanding I'm offering, the chance for you to know that I understand each and every aspect of you and all I ask for in return is to try to understand me and offer me the same comfort I hope to offer you, one of reaching that deeper understanding we all crave.",7.3836544594819475,6.486008495523414,7.598126167101152,75.30147845138389,63.90702479338843,10.702309242516684,32.19654445615397,9.92728578739946,2.9063820677796874,11757,369,2248,211,149,3836,727,2904,0.14300000000000002,0.685,0.172,0.9977,11,16,9,1,0,1,363.0,40,58,39,36,91,170,6,2,144,0,206,28,4,40,46,534,448,164,10,63,57,0,30,14,14,27,17,11,2,21,187,175,4,13,127,10,10,69,62,69,2,19,70,74,359,101,385,317,76,333,9,49,31,3,325,144,2,44,114,1594,546,18,0.015933602784718802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056496709960295224,0.0,0.0,0.08251203580896438,0.0,0.025484192780575003,0.06629016965596157,0.0,0.0,0.010835396280129807,0.033415543592394584,0.01218916251812122,0.0,0.0,0.022282291083586186,0.0,0.026223994921761414,0.05673713839344086,0.029791535450882967,0.0,0.05988057727349321,0.06125978509422425,0.03991167833462179,0.00971297636721039,0.0351948248722571,0.05423328961799237,0.05385514205732201,0.05016399929216959,0.02818395366517557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01626998992678717,0.0,0.04873610987393934,0.0,0.0505669170776976,0.3019585347113647,0.0,0.05165569228256677,0.03574178076961402,0.07633011176723566,0.0,0.0,0.041103422568294426,0.0,0.12351229857667292,0.0,0.0,0.13317778892440552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01630560767749481,0.0,0.015608864743090697,0.0,0.0,0.06655240285689852,0.03584631705701005,0.014112442723395437,0.0,0.0,0.04209597746367979,0.05765142373901224,0.02684949511355737,0.06090096112138101,0.028640189556533507,0.062344483768475616,0.015020782651099669,0.0,0.19335619965960185,0.011382969013087491,0.015298757395917241,0.03490896604461655,0.17475629140415996,0.027106228777994124,0.0,0.017470373035864024,0.1723436678104835,0.01473035902381784,0.06659719855850252,0.13756467309047693,0.14488693844121545,0.10691480040926672,0.01274355770925492,0.01756685332071171,0.01755265983762948,0.0,0.056360129283982215,0.033923232896946084,0.028546756833141305,0.0,0.016352473301636174,0.016936674671299168,0.0,0.0,0.03203987424199538,0.05050417847265787,0.015982702739634636,0.03165132553170767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993549049575414,0.0,0.0,0.015811642168590878,0.0,0.0,0.033184790742855325,0.11383698808000504,0.012988012899180494,0.0,0.016871384718395558,0.0,0.016293188381991897,0.10128937373516662,0.10898094876549012,0.031939311795865975,0.18290562128854707,0.014100737063237272,0.026760426717517237,0.0,0.10436045791257101,0.04063853788962084,0.02876139720519073,0.0603070408531955,0.1169938394377844,0.14538755111272406,0.0,0.01735636452827635,0.0,0.0,0.06422929593450417,0.050709103764653235,0.03217679330598549,0.0,0.025436099454649818,0.0,0.0351390941718062,0.0236291291418424,0.12288976743028895,0.0,0.016945567324330918,0.0,0.015611547704827297,0.04586616481074357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115830256529345,0.07270933748051131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017254539097594116,0.060841707130997576,0.1877880170349843,0.13912607363906826,0.03329444723110138,0.0,0.01506240482711953,0.017962743071959594,0.030519974026282412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407068675704695,0.0356985633903772,0.033894695734965216,0.04781374393176046,0.0,0.03062242184132422,0.0,0.01573251050574714,0.06842690562563161,0.018049665884855463,0.01360720971842334,0.030313010013182262,0.07602624277437567,0.0,0.032251313345179215,0.16506124035588288,0.04351606065281614,0.04986666808232042,0.0,0.016355614286489278,0.013180440876827371,0.1074602227308637,0.0,0.16242301473107326,0.04050146979899056,0.09813172695261782,0.01575874057525515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0508983830646009,0.026642410775057985,0.0,0.016657261186653113,0.036480326214871885,0.017428775318102798,0.0,0.04505169617446224,0.0,0.04792034533110146,0.03842047909263187,0.013926671135815402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01058557768812142,0.09188648364389156,0.0,0.03794850243109388,0.1114921430209067,0.0,0.01510319237264126,0.045675720841035765,0.0,0.07572509267167697,0.01733118438055471,0.015564814677633631,0.3649237334066545,0.1533292983780064,0.02752303391334289,0.0,0.013146890999269335,0.06578636223488207,0.20235763587756386,0.0,0.0,0.028652444904459763,0.014770609413369716,0.11502078559866825,0.0,0.05496857056545328,0.0460782734775828,0.03455862507607665,0.04639941038227426,0.0,0.0,0.05659387130433461,0.0,0.0,0.061564306738027375
mentalhealth,KeepItCool_481,2019/03/12,"I was on the upswing, but now I am going downhill again and find it difficult to go to school without having an anxiety attack I have anxiety and depression and was in a bad place a few weeks ago, to the point where I almost ended up needing to be hospitalized. I ended up finally getting out of it before going, and was feeling great, and was actually happy again. Things slowly went back to normal and now I can feel myself going back to where I was before. I know I need my meds adjusted, but am currently in a weird spot and find myself without a PCP or a Psychologist. 

On top of my depression going downhill, I am also in the midst of my senior year and graduation is swiftly approaching and I am terrified. I have found myself worrying about grades and stuff but at the same time, looking at all of these assignments makes me even more anxious, and it’s a vicious cycle. Doing them makes me anxious, not doing them makes me anxious, I wish it all would just go away and I could just walk across that stage and never look back. I find myself losing sleep over it, staring at the ceiling at night because I know if I go to sleep I will wake up in the morning and have to go to school and actually face it head on. I told my parents today I wasn’t feeling well so I wouldn’t have to go, but I know I have to go tomorrow. I just feel completely hopeless. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do any of this anymore. After spring break, I only have a little over a month left and then I graduate. I can’t mess it up now, but I can’t deal with a mental breakdown either. I just don’t know what to do.",3.7167724726593785,4.657190815950919,5.357457988797012,81.8975580154708,71.82208588957056,8.123552947452655,27.670845558815685,8.456263369488248,1.91484758602294,1250,44,251,20,23,426,155,326,0.166,0.748,0.086,-0.985,2,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,2,2,19,13,2,0,16,0,34,5,5,3,3,61,64,26,0,8,15,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,14,18,0,0,13,0,0,13,11,10,1,0,9,7,44,3,42,50,6,67,0,4,3,0,5,27,0,3,25,200,58,7,0.0,0.0,0.16322420037656746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413411536810464,0.0,0.08374468218315098,0.0,0.0,0.06687993297258878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056872162535113936,0.0,0.12795545524601784,0.2834387461954134,0.1658795855947153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514269504944137,0.07857437410110481,0.192921958625576,0.06982865535056071,0.0509808738300333,0.0,0.14232817989428528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768584338853185,0.0,0.0,0.0667728004667808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622021427690689,0.14406305938086736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481450452909169,0.0,0.0,0.0552376952926776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16914602428798725,0.0,0.0,0.09161401851370136,0.22931252239932046,0.0,0.0,0.09169742104096147,0.0,0.0,0.04369391071266197,0.0,0.4752960401269893,0.0,0.0,0.09220382083469622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902709071054524,0.0,0.0,0.08582985757218864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838463359052029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086566924049347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382054909450948,0.0,0.0,0.1404584842530017,0.09356205023764776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747365796892208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289553844335056,0.0,0.08428069595852597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667537183248658,0.0,0.0,0.12402312184764497,0.06450162639657529,0.0,0.0,0.07848232447011158,0.08194093280388877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360538418262865,0.0,0.0,0.09286267901709276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873769249176592,0.0,0.07905862539319737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692787127593591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738342652824675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573784789167476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556093005208527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048766092746272964,0.0,0.07927270855714902,0.07991330611948652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708399691387132,0.0,0.07519459655680036,0.07752706754623494,0.0,0.0,0.0961718857560137,0.16123520794282845,0.0,0.0,0.08493166068254332,0.0,0.05940928719356224,0.0,0.0,0.05385582536849555
mentalhealth,JoR2016,2019/03/12,"Please help me understand what is going on with my best friend. We are like sisters, I love her so much and we have known each other since we were babies. We are adults now (in our 20s) and living together and this is so difficult...

In the past few weeks she has been bringing up random occurrences from her past, bringing up people or occasions where she remembers people making fun of her. She starts crying when she tells me some of these things. I often see her up late at night, listening to music loudly and pacing around. She tells me stories from her childhood when her aunt came over and made fun of her, one when she once went over to her friends house and her friends mother made fun of her. I reached out to her mother and she doesn’t remember any of these things happening, so she could possibly be making them up. 

I just don’t understand why these random things from the past are putting her in so much distress right now. True or not, they all seem to be revolving around people making fun of her. Could this be a severe form of social anxiety, general anxiety? She’s a bit overweight and doesn’t like to go out much anyway, she doesn’t really have any other friends besides me. 

What can I do to help her?",5.647848101265823,6.267748805907174,5.508708860759494,83.7093924050633,67.27004219409285,9.020421940928273,27.61434599156118,9.029198982220553,1.9838908016877648,965,28,190,16,15,300,125,237,0.057,0.752,0.191,0.9883,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,5,0,2,1,15,15,0,1,4,0,21,2,0,5,2,43,40,17,0,2,4,4,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,1,12,19,1,0,6,0,0,7,5,2,0,1,6,3,41,13,32,29,10,37,0,0,1,1,47,17,0,7,15,144,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404338464856226,0.0,0.16204005647318498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856277237529886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114486968976862,0.0,0.11562510236711378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113158153278696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911929761348107,0.0,0.11633596736732932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272998525568344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038095137964885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093654901623013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419770232737014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220466551201227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946986645531013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348349003942664,0.0,0.09351951014744346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558692856150296,0.20042714770302167,0.21208506462564092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233565710341094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938833998779033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278953540239588,0.0717666201069333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033061226963425,0.22027171441722415,0.0,0.0,0.11625618216090125,0.0,0.11939638582496655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064677093786492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784796135005093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399483044840811,0.09044563266499314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439569125138842,0.09641549635027387,0.0,0.11964692543950207,0.0,0.08760894691687884,0.0,0.0,0.1079607989492323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496287343276395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18513811543459807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108352651395298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22050982614384565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495374134280198,0.0,0.0,0.09817862301563184,0.09556632052391748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nicole3Cahill,2019/03/12,"Topics for mental health blog If you were a reader of a blog about mental health/diminishing stigma, what topics would you like to read about? Any specifics?",4.5998809523809525,7.698454464285714,3.6428571428571423,85.56880952380955,75.78571428571429,5.161904761904762,16.476190476190478,6.42735559955562,-0.14946666666666664,127,2,21,1,3,37,21,28,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,13,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070416167609514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6472484099045848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874261069401049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6136433283055723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30454000300169365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21627795256732926,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,baronred146,2019/03/12,"Need help on how to end Communications with someone with bipolar Hi all,

This is my first reddit post so hopefully I get some help, because I need it badly.

I’m a 23 year old guy who befriended a guy who is about 7/8 years older than who worked at a movie theater with me when I was in high school, I was 18.

5 years later, I find myself in this “friendship” that has taken an unhealthy turn. 

It started out as work buddies and shooting the shit at work and nothing crazy. Growing up without a big brother he seemed to be pretty chill, hooked it up with weed and other fun stuff and showed me a lot of new things like quality movies and music. So naturally he became like a brother figure to me.

After that we stayed in contact as I went to college, he’d invite me to concerts when I was home and grabbed food to catch up, still nothing too crazy. But through this time, I always felt like he was a bit too obsessed with me. 

Today, he has been diagnosed bipolar disorder and he has begun to harass me. Throughout our friendship, I would give him advice on how to deal with certain things and essentially became a younger brother to him. 

But it has gotten very bad. In the last couple days, after he stopped talking to me for about 2 months, he reached out and wanted to talk and hangout again. I’m a full time employed guy, I have a girlfriend and I’m focusing on my own stuff now. The 2 months period that he stopped talking to me was great because I had thought he had moved on and out grown me. Unfortunately not. He repeatedly texts me saying he can’t live with out me and he needs me in his life to be sane. He has even gone to the extent of contacting my older sister and telling her everything he has felt towards me. 

She has become very concerned as have I. She has said that he is obsessed with me in an unhealthy way and even hinted that when people make the decision to stop talking to someone with bipolar, the person with bipolar tends to get suicidal. 

Now, I’ve tried not responding but he is the kind of guy that will drive to my house and show up unexpected. I am scared that if I block him completely, that will happen and I’m not sure what he is capable of. I’m fearful for my family and myself. 

I don’t know if I should reach out to his parents or what. I’m honestly lost and begging for some advice. I’m 23 years old and have dated someone with mental illness and i felt trapped then and was finally able to get out. I feel trapped again in this situation, it is not my responsibility to keep him sane, I have my own life to live. At this point I just want this whole thing to end with him. Please help if you can, anything goes a long way. 

If you need any more context please let me know, I am more than willing to tell if it means it’ll help me.

Thanks ",4.27656906129366,5.097226121645797,4.986819037755391,85.51061364278318,70.43112701252234,7.673119291968742,28.842905564447797,7.7627490962704995,1.638875491949911,2178,79,452,25,38,703,261,559,0.096,0.802,0.102,-0.1592,3,2,0,2,0,0,50.0,2,2,0,5,19,20,2,4,20,0,42,10,1,3,3,91,82,42,1,14,15,5,5,3,1,6,8,3,1,5,32,41,1,5,12,4,0,7,7,9,0,1,19,8,61,11,79,53,12,81,0,1,0,0,64,29,1,11,44,296,93,6,0.07157136613151374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398774212957041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05955311008401942,0.0,0.0,0.04867098325615117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058897136050623175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951820236370694,0.08725848098473524,0.07904495081560027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813739499430362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504121568666804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791923553153796,0.0,0.046157610203435895,0.07378693579344991,0.0,0.07264343005806498,0.0,0.0,0.08202698623908418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678197377116013,0.0,0.0,0.09454442464846938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432372893067544,0.0,0.0674711143003253,0.08053768492216899,0.036188633195028685,0.0,0.2061592061257827,0.0784029332163349,0.06541493201958096,0.060878567469216265,0.08654438002081072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217925441354806,0.06865777604689406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890768382911237,0.0,0.2834676196174096,0.06329032270203114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918911122332192,0.07561907785861965,0.0717919158024075,0.0710865156733464,0.0,0.0825837471602077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361591872332119,0.0,0.07453056412741751,0.07866750214590681,0.05834021590017159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318657097788621,0.10110594503089243,0.10489846284753956,0.0,0.12639765508467898,0.06333840680684265,0.0,0.0,0.07812860075057265,0.06084741606873975,0.0,0.0,0.04777444265355156,0.0,0.0,0.07796219958217109,0.0,0.0,0.07212710329559767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142551632310236,0.07606903549990783,0.0,0.21227704443612047,0.0,0.06912407139922729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373493121872128,0.0,0.15020421831070646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947153218891058,0.0,0.0,0.04961857360017465,0.06249335626975355,0.0,0.15712773506905406,0.06765807490423623,0.0,0.06854558460106287,0.07281380972633315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808075886899917,0.056916423012070824,0.07165542322341698,0.07243404353796727,0.0,0.06515588369360804,0.0,0.0,0.07346697882583117,0.0,0.08044921425451063,0.0,0.0,0.1819265587961095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05065858132368526,0.07628555342291403,0.057156985445129475,0.17951060051873072,0.0,0.0,0.16386418184252058,0.07828745804509141,0.0,0.06745516556662544,0.0,0.0,0.23010541208538546,0.12511305726920305,0.0658932980175989,0.0,0.0,0.1426465062547042,0.0,0.0,0.056819670109246025,0.08346767830593135,0.0,0.0678412864724913,0.0,0.0,0.04859225953543768,0.07784909411593217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810774523665445,0.08442929218904349,0.11362003812463765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634737344674704,0.0,0.07990687432499839,0.0,0.06899224292062285,0.0,0.15631442086379574,0.0,0.0,0.05084224501701464,0.0,0.0,0.18435845291712688
mentalhealth,Toasty_eggos-,2019/03/13,"How to change my thinking Not sure where to really post this but I’m trying to change my way of thinking. For starters I get jealous of the most minute things, I am extremely self conscious at times and have bad depression and anxiety. I have been cheated on in a past relationship and it really messed with my head, I am constantly paranoid my current girlfriend will leave me or cheat on me, etc. Often I feel as if I’m unliked and unloved, I generally feel unwanted most of the time. What can I do to change this? I’m tired of being bitter, miserable and would like to change my way of thinking and am seeking help before it is to late. I am dragging others down with me. Please help. ",5.014666666666667,5.876778022222222,5.5562962962962965,81.94333333333336,68.77777777777777,8.962962962962962,31.296296296296298,9.150863307647796,2.5881851851851856,543,22,107,10,9,175,84,135,0.304,0.617,0.079,-0.9898,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,11,4,1,3,0,13,2,1,1,1,26,22,11,0,3,4,0,2,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,1,3,16,2,20,18,3,16,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,5,8,75,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110473986729469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205771169303012,0.0,0.0,0.12288308792024005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6110705766029689,0.0,0.0,0.1560569414358038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438094553802895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610563902139024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460370377066443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544876461809855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14820730430275694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935912406649152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629018494391783,0.1529103520210576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705518990437195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785659876541034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585198648383277,0.0,0.0,0.1383057777985453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502671363972092,0.0,0.0,0.15504332337817212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065212286677065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610561780921945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594022290725347,0.27759813029543234,0.0,0.0,0.16841438053708854,0.16597915120324194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804556032531493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22925339156104754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258540040219292,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cassafrass97,2019/03/13,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me Hello! So I’m (F 21) and I’ve suffered from mental health problems since middle school and wasn’t even diagnosed with depression till my junior year of high school. 
Well anyways fast forward to my first year in college, everything’s dandy. I’m on medication and going to therapy shits tight and yeah it was going pretty well fast forward to December of 2017 and I met this guy! He’s fantastic in Every way! We’ve been dating since the day after Christmas and things were going great! 
Up until a few months ago... I will admit that I fell back on taking my medicine regular and now I completely stopped going to therapy due to high waits (month/month and half out) and I don’t have it in me to open up to someone all over again and things have just gone down hill. My boyfriend goes to school 3 and half hours away, we recently got a puppy a few months back that made me her sole caretaker while he’s at school and mind you we have also two cats, two guinea pigs, and a created gecko. Don’t get me wrong I love my animals but sometime it’s just so over whelming to take care of them all myself and I’ve quit two jobs since this all started happening again, I’m having emotional outbursts (getting excessively angry, then excessively sad) and the past few weeks all I’ve done is sleep and not eat, I think I went four days without eating. And I get so worked up over little shit (like pretty sure I lost my Juul somewhere today) and ive lost four of those things. And I feel like my mom and my boyfriend get the most wrath but at the same time it’s hard because all they want to do is blame it on my mental health and that’s it and I need to get over it. I just feel like they dont really listen to me like I don’t know what to do I literally told my boyfriend I was selling my laptop (even factory reset the thing) and told my mom that I’m getting rid of my clothes (literally ripped everything out of my closet and dresser and threw them in boxes. They’re still there even) and after I cried into my dogs back for ten minutes I came to realization that I’m better off dead since no one even acknowledged me and then I felt guilty about thinking it and cried more 
I just don’t know what to do. ",3.9189793956043966,4.888216883516485,4.6339938186813185,87.1642874313187,71.37362637362638,7.885302197802199,25.42754120879121,8.17850203761792,1.3242870879120874,1762,51,375,25,32,566,224,455,0.116,0.7859999999999999,0.098,-0.9067,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,2,1,4,6,24,21,2,0,9,1,23,10,3,1,6,71,68,39,1,3,8,2,5,4,0,1,4,1,2,1,23,37,2,3,10,0,1,11,10,10,2,10,18,6,52,11,53,49,11,73,0,5,0,1,20,29,2,1,40,238,75,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269598779125744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05656105074309116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645116050670573,0.16315609490443192,0.0,0.043115052056189686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255305189073984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089383924020148,0.07211177551866338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741568242806437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538248445173325,0.09122724779307544,0.0,0.0609178093463839,0.07178729753596225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237916548384485,0.08289253491862662,0.0,0.0,0.14474453304829274,0.0,0.0795593321503956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686035990263708,0.0,0.05959127952845567,0.0,0.1271312949754174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152427071559801,0.10105600652134906,0.06790984519912208,0.0,0.0,0.06016108866256077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22171435207591,0.0,0.1607851099649351,0.0,0.05656753741009921,0.07797772451529825,0.0,0.07003170945748431,0.06254442037395723,0.0,0.06335827764655448,0.0,0.0,0.1503608332821543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945575222130209,0.0,0.0,0.06965270325213113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018649581955409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661056020713438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382162554362179,0.0708879049354227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441564649870448,0.0,0.06383466256011774,0.06692441913371643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125088638435115,0.14255411179096178,0.0,0.07141498475545349,0.16567124911560754,0.2258172388426425,0.0,0.0,0.05244381817051405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047927034025981835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751775333758482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391133842036688,0.0,0.06767701797601129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522779402486326,0.0,0.0,0.045310083537057136,0.0,0.06983523729345302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863215148864301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520228088961648,0.2340272942272807,0.0,0.07077894714171523,0.0,0.05992749330784159,0.0,0.06995167027645638,0.0,0.05006154923199952,0.0,0.05648336700412505,0.05913166490072098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666017886267643,0.0,0.10635710957126604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617669628399957,0.0,0.18795381181361803,0.09063912430798828,0.0,0.0,0.041241988796470966,0.0,0.06704174917580855,0.1351670183139987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072725505654213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041717129231652134,0.05614048976198634,0.05673362972791831,0.0,0.12718569539232674,0.06556544252583027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817914113165248,0.0,0.051490730502591016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465964192463927,0.0,0.09109285658904642
mentalhealth,SciK3,2019/03/13,"Over the past year Ive noticed that my personality has changed So before the last year I feel like I was the kid that wasnt to shy or too intrusive, just kind of there, which I felt like was my place, I enjoyed just kinda talking to people whenever. I could start a conversation and continue one, not really acting odd while doing so. But recently (about a month ago die to personal stuff that Id rather not talk about, its not severe I just dont feel like talking about it) I had an extreme wave of crippling depression that basically turned me into an aggressive hermit. After some self reevaluating I was able to pull put of it. But I havent felt the same, I feel like I cant start conversations without the other person judging me or I somehow fuck up the convo and saying something stupid. any suggestions?

(dont comment those stupid cheesy ""You can do this!"" type posts, they just make me feel off, I cant explain it but they just aren't what help me)",3.43531914893617,5.388188436170214,4.495691489361704,83.75875,74.21276595744679,7.67872340425532,25.57978723404256,8.472884824447931,1.7326319148936171,758,26,149,14,16,247,117,188,0.08900000000000001,0.8340000000000001,0.077,-0.6408,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,2,0,14,11,4,0,10,0,17,1,0,1,0,31,29,10,1,2,15,0,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,5,14,3,0,0,7,0,0,3,11,5,0,1,7,7,23,6,16,21,2,21,0,1,0,1,18,5,1,5,16,104,37,1,0.1257179405752639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144136893349292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549251064305571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697670786569953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329929115245916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003755457874195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082806780011719,0.0,0.1304753740140551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946809801116889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542670726252583,0.26943876559980245,0.24141787631606826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162242102699258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426608554714657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091588911121707,0.0,0.10247690091884956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456777420264413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083917701549796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034686074806032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431307085978377,0.0,0.0,0.08518973013967389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001199956057755,0.08715699062993673,0.32931616962989657,0.13134849020148118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040303542255283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638125380632373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053813192436339,0.0,0.12413129959271413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997595229410447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311512300840504,0.14202548866096262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678381267770313,0.0,0.0,0.17796761081172166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391696420491765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30314195557033924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674501853046986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118760845938305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191646381176006
mentalhealth,NeoshadowXC,2019/03/13,"OCPD. Great Difficulty trying new things. Anyone relate? How have you handled it? So I've gotten therapy and all in all I'm doing much better since my diagnosis. 

But there are some big-ticket items where trying a new thing brings me to a point of absolute *rage* because I feel I don't know how to approach it, and I'm in a situation where there's pressure and the people around me expect me to just get it done.

There are some little things that give me a lot of anxiety, if they're necessary but I don't do them often. Like going to the post office or getting a tuneup on my car. If I'm with a friend, it's almost guaranteed I'll piss them off because I crawl out of my skin in these situations, and none of them can empathize. 

The key contender, and inspiration for this post, is I want to start being active and working out. Mostly to feel good, but also to look good. Every time a friend tries to show me a workout, I want to try all the other things, and I get frustrated when I don't pick them up or enjoy them right away. My friends get very frustrated with me for not just sticking to the routine. But I know I want something very specific, I just don't know what it is. And I can't explain my reasons for disliking something. It makes me feel like a child. 

Here's a text exchange with a friend to give you a sample: 

> Also can you help me build a workout 

> I want to only do workouts I like 

> I want to climb and swing from things and hang upside down 

>>Where do you plan to do this?

> Idk hopefully someplace convenient
 
> That beach had stuff 

> I just don’t want to go to a gym and have no idea how to use the equipment 

>> Just go there and climb you don’t need a program you won’t follow it 

> Lol but I wanna know what each workout is working 

>> I could suggest my gym for the 100th time since that’s a lot of what is done 

> If the program is fun I’ll follow it 

> But I don’t wanna work til failure 

>> Then don’t workout 

>>I don’t workout to failure at that gym 

> I just wanna feel the burn 

>> Then go swing at the beach. 

> I just wanna understand it better
 
> like which muscles which thing works 

>> Then look up YouTube videos
 
>> Or talk to the guys at the beach 

> Okie doke 

>> Reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness recommended routine

> I feel like it’s a really hard thing to get unless you’re already in it 

> Like I asked on Reddit and people were just like figure it out 

>> Asked what? Follow the recommended routine

>> You have nothing to figure out 

> I need my own routine 

>> No you don’t 

>> Stop making this impossible for yourself and everyone 

> Yikes sorry I asked 

>> It’s like I’m trying to help you but you reject everything I offer
 
>> So I can’t help you if you don’t listen 

So you can tell I want someone to hold my hand through things like this, but it's not reasonable to expect that of others, and I can't stop pursuing new things just because there's no one who will baby me through it at my pace. 

So... anyone else's OCPD manifest like this? How to you manage? ",4.39764111498258,4.925100598412701,5.1245876887340325,85.69008710801396,70.0,7.924119241192412,26.79442508710801,7.8500785054351265,1.3841231126596978,2427,72,511,28,41,786,244,630,0.073,0.7390000000000001,0.187,0.9973,0,0,2,0,0,0,138.0,0,14,5,9,30,29,4,1,30,1,40,3,3,10,3,106,91,46,0,21,27,0,8,10,4,2,0,1,0,2,45,24,0,3,17,14,1,13,21,6,0,1,5,12,66,23,68,82,13,53,0,1,2,0,40,25,1,15,23,330,111,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648497951765995,0.0,0.07146648515435032,0.10358030722981712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954275810782344,0.0,0.0,0.09056620219814536,0.06635632941047302,0.0,0.05765191658937704,0.1816312030021942,0.0,0.060846037428885814,0.0,0.0,0.11843495513797145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455346475855485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170719287188241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254803613722074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410034678480855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456478407563272,0.061882873021115385,0.05820391603000199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372808314596218,0.09253198150830244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001398638938749,0.0,0.16917737856976728,0.12425123662053035,0.1472229641188392,0.10863859774918633,0.0,0.07140034136797946,0.0,0.06412456881665662,0.0,0.0,0.05801403773411853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302258245401527,0.0,0.0,0.06432328563501126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731084230654162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236602153849295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31639445373959624,0.06490854462234365,0.0,0.0,0.1087675503347413,0.0,0.0,0.11011668491185944,0.0,0.0,0.08645828514028786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047607526770705885,0.09604041521576644,0.0,0.1876426498085288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062140892375338215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043884412009721,0.04925442462545136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979564273910676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122102956316279,0.0,0.12404820170321453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041488200022082575,0.1331722586243242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530640014029285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714360287580713,0.14559041862127334,0.0,0.0,0.05487263838620655,0.09971391397663233,0.0,0.0724957647137186,0.0458388818959884,0.0,0.0,0.1082878754365329,0.0,0.0,0.07413700386187247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052053248100328,0.056604848635265964,0.0,0.07406099909065014,0.0,0.38722499814819616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552649418962461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198457583792149,0.0,0.0,0.06741953326121311,0.0,0.05593358073349988,0.0,0.10687087643279948,0.26738816765721296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859004968529733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,monrose561,2019/03/13,"I think I’m destroying my relationship with my almost constant need for reassurance I’m not sure if this is the right place to post. I grew up in an abusive household where emotions and vulnerability were definitely weaponized. My boyfriend had a very stable and loving home. I get... weird. I have moments of insecurity, of being certain he’s cheating or unhappy or going to leave me. I have moments of desperation where I’m so scared I want to throw everything away. I try to carry most of this on my own but sometimes I try to talk to him and he doesn’t understand it. He can be very kind but he can’t help me feel more secure. And then I get more afraid that because he knows I’m broken that it’ll turn him off and he’ll find someone who isn’t as fucked in the head. I almost feel like I should be dating someone else because there isn’t an understanding there. He will never understand what this kind of low self esteem bullshit feels like. So he’ll never really understand what to say to help me feel comfortable. Or maybe I need help? 
This post has gotten a very manic feel to it so I’ll end it here. ",2.547200772200771,4.734402536036036,4.0004247104247135,85.21040540540542,77.69369369369369,6.93127413127413,24.08494208494209,7.957251820313856,1.3307861003861006,881,30,178,15,21,291,124,222,0.158,0.6609999999999999,0.181,0.8343,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,8,19,4,3,6,0,17,3,1,0,4,36,44,16,0,5,7,0,5,2,0,5,0,1,1,1,13,6,0,1,12,0,0,3,7,9,0,0,3,6,21,10,23,33,4,24,0,1,0,2,20,11,1,7,10,106,34,0,0.0,0.1280036874843805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21636268838071085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150234244824184,0.0,0.0,0.13171414148710073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674734404599768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024929408654232,0.12152471853471936,0.09568685268673056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709479970015784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731284511879508,0.15436030465331954,0.0,0.0,0.09874193905465113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987652184395086,0.11288754988624615,0.0,0.0613987218876041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087497285522276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217240543454093,0.0,0.10836781077225643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22500344167828035,0.059373154283395124,0.0,0.0,0.11439335739474715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556078768394823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750571291514444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853557536848596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021301511204378,0.16664634611150367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287347378236202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693513631161736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920992169990342,0.0,0.0,0.11598904893258075,0.0,0.09226121213202383,0.0,0.08591368665772472,0.1081617791904754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127039595788948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18307523605049555,0.0,0.10684927602597508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182161230875186,0.0,0.0,0.08683435828336301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922440002977666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669720754703966,0.11751094542686676,0.0,0.4498725532145534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26742031418489665,0.06372178160532521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadwinters,2019/03/13,"my doctor prescribed me antidepressants now my moms giving me the cold shoulder. shes been so rude to me. she wont look for a therapist under our insurance. shes making it about her, and shes making me feel worse. shes making my home feel so unsafe.

why cant she respect that i just want to get better? im not giving up, but im trying to better myself. getting medication and seeking help isnt giving up, but the opposite. so whu doesnt she recognize that?",1.358404255319147,3.6327429255319177,3.8930212765957455,83.89400000000002,82.51063829787232,6.313191489361702,21.102127659574467,7.554174236665415,1.0144459574468088,361,11,70,6,10,126,59,94,0.065,0.753,0.182,0.8779,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,2,6,4,1,0,3,0,9,3,1,3,0,12,21,7,0,1,4,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,4,18,3,8,19,0,4,0,0,1,0,14,3,0,0,1,47,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.313635903060114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18148622573010656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17930843147177844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18527628131338286,0.5102811453929292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884841768713232,0.0,0.17785827590543055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3830545213019724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488973246892797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35507117651338393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17862306809604048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20766553452191655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20587276262470644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038312958674854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458314266183397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999639542453697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069595708618824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Subaru10101,2019/03/13,"I think my friend may have schizophrenia or a similar disorder I have a friend in the states who has had declining mental health to the point where she is now out of work, on food stamps and keeps having to move.  She used to be a bit eccentric but pretty much normal otherwise, minus getting a bit obsessive and fixated on certain situations.  Over the past year her statuses and updates have been weirder and weirder and has posted her getting hauled off by an ambulance screaming a couple times. She has restraining orders against her from a guy she’s never dated that she thinks she’s married to. She talks about working for the government, Justin Trudeau sending Canadian weather to LA (where she lives), travelling through time, working with Mark Zuckerberg to get his company back, Kate Middleton and Angelina Jolie being her doppelgangers, Nikki Sixx being her estranged dad, etc...

I’d like to be able to help her, she’s mentioned being on antipsychotics in the past for something so my guess is she stopped taking crucial medication. But I live in Canada and don’t really know if anything can be done for her down there that won’t cost her a fortune in hospital bills. 

Does anyone know if this could be schitzophrenia, or some type of delusional disorder ? 
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mentalhealth,navierstakes,2019/03/13,"i think i’m breaking apart the one person i could turn to suddenly started giving me the cold shoulder. a few days ago, i was the happiest i’ve been in a while. but ever since yesterday, everything’s crashing down. i lie on the floor for hours at a time staring at nothing, listening to a clock ticking. i can’t talk to my friend because i don’t know what i did to make them ice me. i thought i was getting better, but i’m at the worst i’ve ever felt. i’ve attempted twice, and i think that if i had enough energy, i would kill myself. i want to. but i can’t even life my head. everything’s heavy and slow. i can’t understand basic words i read or people say to me. i have nothing left. ",1.8803196347031952,3.2731211643835607,3.8645890410958894,89.02555936073061,77.08219178082193,7.3324200913242015,25.180365296803647,8.07648339933343,1.3746776255707769,534,19,119,9,12,182,91,146,0.091,0.787,0.123,0.09,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,1,2,3,4,1,0,9,0,12,3,2,1,2,20,27,8,1,4,5,0,1,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,2,0,2,7,5,24,2,13,18,3,22,0,0,1,0,7,9,0,2,12,76,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209484746805407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459325224919408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174809778353976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699224508962374,0.0,0.0,0.11065456360792032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728745839044538,0.0,0.11332662160073795,0.31040690709471536,0.0,0.0,0.3084091279027361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474319826539066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325618727489601,0.0,0.08964319129090596,0.1645946619262766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609003669669862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897121570429674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898272617242644,0.0,0.09429558941325426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864215959763309,0.0,0.12119165373001672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453062843030047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292702576008302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626668925047885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895160049178835,0.14981657490380895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716259016448564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644688108345074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193231047483024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144483184165072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790907851330675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198823923495756,0.0,0.1362149334112751,0.10004936864800673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866291928612273,0.0,0.17862027914051626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120201676091932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188513249297145,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jesusheretablefor24,2019/03/13,"Life with the volume turned down I've never truly talked about my feelings with anyone so thanks in advance for anyone who reads this. I had a fairly traumatic childhood with a good dose of verbal and psychological abuse from my father. One of the many things was a very active discouragment of showing emotions, especially crying. Ever since then I have felt as if all my emotions are turned to the lowest volume. I do have them, or at least I think so, but it often takes exteneme situations to feel anything besides baseline. I never really get excited, or sad, or embarrassed, or happy. My strongest by far is anger but I have worked a lot on it since I was young and have it under better control than most I know. I'm considering going to a therapist but again I'm an extremely closed off person and have an exceptionally hard time letting anyone in too far. Any thoughts on the situation?   


  


  
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mentalhealth,thomo-_-,2019/03/13,"Fake emotions? So, today I got the news a student on my school committed suicide, I wasn't close, but talked to him sometimes. Yesterday a close friend of his was crying because he was missing and told me and a friend about him and how he talked about suicide, and some other things. And today, when they told us that, I just cried a lot, and I didn't even talked to him, there were people who talked to him way more and didn't cry as much, I feel like I was faking, I don't know, it just doesn't seem right, I thought it was because I knew something others didn't because that friend that talked to me yesterday, but the girl that was with me didn't even cry, and she was really close to the friend that told us that. Or maybe the fact that a few months ago I was feeling like doing the same he did, which I also might have faked. I don't know, I already tried to post on Reddit about this but I always ended up feeling like it was stupid. I get it if you think im being an asshole, I just need someone to tell me what's going on.

I just feel like shit because I almost didn't talk to the people who actually talked to him, and they are my friends, it seemed I knew him better than everyone and people actually came to see if I was ok, and that was awful, I wasn't the one who needed help, I was the one who was supposed to be helping, but I was needing selfish.
I know I was wrong and I just shared this so you can know the kind of person I am, but I just want help about this feeling that my emotions are fake, if anyone else feels like this, anything. I want honesty, if you think I was an asshole please tell me, I really want to change.

I'm sorry, I think I just wanted to tell this to someone.

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mentalhealth,paigeemily95,2019/03/13,"I am so depressed. My mental state is unstable and I just feel so damn lost. USA TAMPA, FL 
I have  been diagnosed with PTSD,severe depression, general anxiety and panic attacks! Oh one more OCD!!! I am switching over from Zoloft to fluvoxamine and I just feel insane. I’m ruining my long relationship with my boyfriend of almost 6 years and I am putting all this negativity in my life and on others. I’m my worst nightmare. Please I am crying for help. I can’t take it. My great grandma killed her self and I just don’t know what to do. 

I’m scared 
",0.7408562691131486,3.2693508532110123,2.832990825688076,87.69419571865446,90.92660550458712,6.209418960244648,21.94556574923548,7.554174236665415,1.2315462996941895,429,16,87,9,15,144,75,109,0.364,0.5670000000000001,0.069,-0.9899,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,3,2,0,0,10,3,0,0,1,17,18,8,1,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,10,0,1,2,2,16,1,10,16,3,7,0,4,0,0,4,3,1,1,2,56,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376740153051475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803086851802094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22013998159335735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125562612614832,0.0,0.0,0.3333313106582333,0.19640359882454708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956839810665303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21334005107632725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970238669527534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140847181607764,0.0,0.10634533996841833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366783716762249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124592039133746,0.0,0.0,0.21123367035771026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950076235211102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112406075704186,0.0,0.0,0.22703653673180602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21241048652331665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22619710165635545,0.19452606758445304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077520554571328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19373235797271768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20186801664597487,0.21860567903777967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549174991514974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461093727852407
mentalhealth,serenerii,2019/03/13,"I have weird tics and I don't know how to make them stop. Before I start, I don't even know if they're tics. I've never seen a specialist, and I am not in the best position to see one at the moment. I hope to be able to in the next few years. 

I have two major ""tics"" that have been the bane of my existence for a while now. The first one is a lot easier to explain, so I'll start with that one.

It has to do with my legs. Whenever I sit with my legs bent, I  get this feeling in my knees. It makes me have this uncontrollable urge to stretch my legs out. Whenever I can't do that, my breathing gets funny and I get anxious, almost frantic. It makes it harder to sit in certain places, like when I'm eating at the table for example. 

The other one is...a bit more strange. I've had it for years and I've never seen or heard of anyone else having it. 

I'll explain it the best way I know how. 

Imagine you're sitting at a desk. That desk is coated with a thin sheet of flour. Whenever you move your hand or rest your arm on the best, the flour slides and created a little pile, an inconsistency in the fine sheet. So, I move my hand to smooth it out or push it away. But wait, now that I've done that, the pile it only bigger, or there's more piles now. And it just keeps doing and going. It's the weirdest thing. 

Has anyone else experienced this? Has anyone even heard of this? Depression, anxiety, and Bipolar Disorder all run in the family, and I've had trauma in the past, if that helps at all. 

Thanks so much to anyone who's read this. It means more than words can describe. ",1.5231805396395472,3.1368041329305143,3.1924971351182414,92.50317220543808,78.66767371601208,6.499051984581728,19.87300760495885,7.372421405659032,0.29973061777268484,1212,28,280,16,29,402,160,331,0.111,0.7979999999999999,0.091,-0.7838,0,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,3,1,4,14,13,0,2,22,0,23,10,8,5,5,49,49,23,0,3,9,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,28,15,1,3,8,1,0,6,6,5,0,6,8,11,25,8,37,40,14,47,0,1,3,0,10,21,0,9,17,186,53,3,0.11083432903906264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098457054696192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847879583479838,0.12521124407664716,0.0,0.30999175956248703,0.22712573579111364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413250057520636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431185067818022,0.0,0.3489413711753797,0.0,0.12100238147110925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954614451942114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270257433147173,0.0,0.0,0.1134219994640854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341118842753928,0.18517571992333107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641005805369686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448474141534868,0.0,0.056041166961122005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427562366088343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371908721403276,0.0,0.06298970337101432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428991446749716,0.0,0.0,0.11008349699379308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851464417972428,0.0,0.0,0.18273494601526466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414805471028012,0.111085114920125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422738307589733,0.0,0.0,0.221948325828732,0.0,0.0,0.1207310765204848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23559870283288115,0.081475984605058,0.0,0.17096453454915095,0.0,0.11787356632109156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004168390873992,0.08429450162035297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580390823352437,0.0,0.0,0.11579828396138601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086432238256123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832061047517817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568982171100188,0.0,0.0,0.09266246190938784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020413591174399,0.0,0.0,0.07363340334296622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826903461327388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797513147783885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427473481098775
mentalhealth,oldyoungman1,2019/03/13,"mental health support worker with secret mental health I'm a mental health support worker who leads a 4 person team during the night shift, I can feel my self getting really stressed and anxious due to the immense work load and responsibility of the job. I hide what's going on with me at the min due to fear of not being seen as a 'strong leader', but trying to hide it from people who are trained to recognize it is super hard lol ..... anyway iv started smoking cannabis which genuinely helps de stress me but due to being in the UK and the laws regarding weed I'm feering if I'm found out I'd loose my job..... you think I'd know better being in the field of mental health but I have no coping mechanisms so smoke up instead, anyone else have the same sota thing going on? ",3.785,5.398029019607847,4.807336601307188,83.30551470588236,72.52941176470588,6.6686274509803924,23.86111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.9988915032679736,612,17,115,6,12,200,101,153,0.12,0.748,0.132,0.7287,2,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,8,3,8,0,3,11,1,8,5,0,1,0,19,22,9,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,5,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,2,3,8,5,19,17,1,16,0,0,1,0,8,7,0,1,6,66,15,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403723824901665,0.0,0.08688173766460662,0.1273135687331493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989313708826727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379881286483347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982102178614114,0.06282688253657474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623880608245487,0.0,0.0,0.06491792420102324,0.0,0.14123355773265184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130775686613684,0.0,0.0,0.5283075138665773,0.0,0.0,0.08328527015041626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24660712702924625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828710399382508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5008778333278874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660456818744705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861425265334089,0.10849436430816853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960070805683228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962469488390058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794807809237487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28466655474404856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820053999729725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825492657175772,0.07961736008129759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436074845841596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045886227549392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Makasaurus,2019/03/13,"How do I help my partner when he is overwhelmed and can't communicate his needs? My husband is currently almost incapable of communicating (he can speak just fine usually), so he can't tell me how to help. I know what set it off and can't do anything about that now but every little thing is too hard for him. Dropping something out of the full recycling bin is enough right now to push him back over the edge and into a full on melt-down. Leaving him alone doesn't help, cuddles don't help, leading questions cause distress. I've ensured he's eating and drinking and I'm tending to the areas of the house he usually handles. I'm at a loss...I don't know how to help. 

​

How do I help??",2.873261904761904,4.720559135714289,4.047142857142859,86.82619047619049,75.5,6.666666666666666,28.095238095238088,7.492282038375204,1.5813095238095234,549,23,111,7,12,179,87,140,0.073,0.78,0.147,0.862,1,1,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,13,3,0,2,6,0,14,3,0,6,0,20,20,12,0,1,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,4,7,2,0,3,1,0,2,6,2,0,0,0,2,10,1,15,20,3,22,0,1,0,1,20,11,0,2,7,69,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246466286200389,0.15769364811663206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497177097839558,0.18501046247851036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125295582240237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707721061100727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641118385646938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915513840888842,0.0,0.1557982206280412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573234932015394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828415857867342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363935025593979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6123330499463259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568559997764538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735432562093475,0.0,0.0,0.16121952263926234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15260278534048385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289757729475774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056410735595445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002772990320172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172158542343702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308043826551258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011536284795275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353819450982958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501046247851036,0.0
mentalhealth,vegancondoms,2019/03/13,"Compassion fatigue or just being a jerk? \[cw suicidal ideation\]  


I wanna keep this super vague so let's just say that in my life I have met some people who have depression, but from my (admittedly subjective) viewpoint they don't seem to have it as bad as I've had it. At my worst, I would spend weeks in either my bed or on the sofa, not changing clothes, not showering, not brushing my teeth or hair, only eating because I have amazing parents who made me food. All I would do is browse pro-suicide websites or look at memes or just lie there. The only thing that stopped me killing myself was that I couldn't bring myself to do that to my parents, but even then I was tempted at times. I would spend hours screaming at my parents to make me better and hours unable to say a single word. I was probably this bad for a few months but in total I've been severely depressed for around four years and dealing with some degree of mental health stuff for about sixteen years now.  


Anyway, it's hard for me to know that somebody is struggling with depression, but every day they go out with friends, they put effort into their personal hygiene and style, they're working full time, etc. (I know Instagram stories are not representative of how people feel all the time, but I wouldn't have been able to even get dressed and out the door.) Most of the time I realise that it's the worst **they** have ever felt, and besides, there are people out there who have suffered *far, far* more than I ever have, and in ways that I couldn't even begin to imagine. It's not a competition, but I feel like when I talk about depression with somebody who is (from my outside perspective) mildly to moderately depressed, they can't really understand what I've been through. The only people who really get it are my uncle, who's been in that dark place too, and the people I've met during my various hospitalisions.  


I'd never dream of saying to someone that I had it much worse than them, but I feel guilty for even thinking that. It makes me feel like a jerk. Has anyone else had experience with this sort of feeling?",6.656273752012882,6.590024439506173,6.515415995705855,79.71328502415463,65.09876543209876,9.216317767042405,31.929683306494894,8.716276077567194,2.41823564143854,1658,58,317,22,23,523,201,405,0.197,0.746,0.058,-0.9965,4,0,0,0,0,2,54.0,0,0,7,4,21,22,3,1,13,0,37,7,2,4,6,75,61,25,2,7,21,3,8,2,1,4,3,4,4,1,30,17,2,2,13,1,2,3,11,16,0,1,14,14,42,6,50,39,16,42,0,7,1,0,26,19,0,10,21,233,72,1,0.0841220659511463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05882010444849796,0.08619299765277975,0.0,0.07488647361018949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047682257632993,0.051280030611031535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439913122661014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898999158842351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054251773293608564,0.08672615620811136,0.3622710606922579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607787456481024,0.07027319179444548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381834019941186,0.22224732474653155,0.15218644946395454,0.07087646871879495,0.0,0.0,0.08228752225911648,0.0,0.0,0.21267322065085045,0.12019364144776493,0.08077037541466799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017207360613186,0.0,0.06499249948004865,0.0,0.08790061489848422,0.0,0.04780850867380703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535684783456302,0.0,0.0,0.08941782238092122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16568657972419668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477155739283363,0.09306860225396216,0.0,0.0924625749293344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602051187938921,0.05941790296634245,0.08219558450810081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064134871526892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959833278943693,0.11230426448187517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477525675768573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714543047088174,0.0,0.061839397683055936,0.0,0.06488012322239045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919358655239524,0.0,0.0,0.2802227971902813,0.0,0.0,0.2915982428731249,0.07345214324919723,0.08788965444989592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069781502849723,0.0,0.0,0.08456591095142355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077814990338215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20069172977054214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658156943808203,0.0,0.09503399013069776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127635349398416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032981387192623,0.0,0.08794264819083926,0.0962996394861158,0.18403177317351813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761413012430746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558869626940338,0.053902023161345784,0.0,0.0,0.19620901259139106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757403737913935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677218039215295,0.0674776471412126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612418659014045,0.0,0.08572757195337116,0.17927370621513605,0.0,0.0,0.10834370484453568
mentalhealth,aquaberries,2019/03/13,"Regret Getting Help I feel like getting help for my mental health was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I knew I’d regret it, and I did because I can’t keep my stupid mouth shut. I realised I’d not been truly happy for five years, and I had to stop changing the environment, and fix myself as a person. So I got hospitalised for my eating disorder, my main coping method. 

Now they tell me a week later that I can be discharged. But I have to go from being vegan to vegetarian, like I have been for the past week. It’s hell, hell for the animals and hell for my body. It set me off. The meal plans are awful, and I can’t eat any of the food I legitimately want to once I’m out. Even if I ate the dairy, I still can’t have almond butter on a sandwich because it’s not an approved snack. My parents say it’ll be easy, but it’s going to be months until I’m weight restored and they’ll never let me be vegan again. Hell, the dietitian wants me eating meat. I have to have dessert every night now. My face is breaking out now, so my looks are gone. I used to actually not want to drink or take drugs, but now I’m ruined I see no point not to. I’m going to gain weight regardless. 

I want to go home, but once I’m there I feel as though I will finally kill myself or run away. I have had no psychological support here. I spent my days daydreaming about jumping off the roof I can see out my window. I don’t like anything enough to want to live for it. My parents insist there are things I want to live for, and I agree that there once was. But I think of games I wanted to wait to come out, movies I wanted to see, degrees I wanted to do and I feel nothing. Now that I can’t cope with my eating disorder, I’ve taken to physical self harming by just bruising myself. And I can’t tell my parents, or else I’ll be stuck in a hospital that doesn’t care about me even longer. They forgot about me constantly. They told me I wouldn’t have to eat the same stuff I was eating here once I was out, and they gave me an identical meal plan. They lied. Everyone lied. They’ve been telling me it gets better for five years, and it never did. I’m at my limit. ",2.3561915297092284,3.541314170353985,4.039934260429837,89.10000884955755,75.43805309734512,7.024121365360304,22.206321112515802,7.554174236665415,0.6827420227560057,1663,42,374,21,35,559,203,452,0.149,0.76,0.092,-0.9815,3,0,3,0,0,2,50.0,0,0,6,6,22,17,6,0,16,1,44,21,3,1,3,60,91,26,1,14,14,3,5,3,0,4,2,1,2,2,16,18,16,5,5,2,1,8,16,10,0,2,22,11,68,7,51,58,3,46,4,3,4,0,20,13,4,4,26,245,84,0,0.0,0.0,0.07067571710013522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0492510407271894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959906811575361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804505977028037,0.0,0.0,0.0882984216315116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405345101970518,0.0,0.08044712462661904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384145044108492,0.0,0.07661535791447945,0.0623871636092604,0.0,0.07826499184176218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04670771346522668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660091565739701,0.0,0.0,0.07411525402892309,0.0,0.07094828959573049,0.08398925141002994,0.4446491375435876,0.06050125014086071,0.0,0.0,0.0748337125689637,0.0,0.095671198676718,0.06551196987039337,0.06102063750853628,0.06920456896473981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985978059880806,0.0517399692605604,0.0,0.0793373340465811,0.0,0.0,0.08757581006082535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351619914457226,0.0,0.16464170579279905,0.0,0.05792436783311476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709706603298347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698369606924238,0.0,0.0,0.09708902873448247,0.0,0.07264752697636237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437408891968269,0.08012681139769012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405880355744945,0.0,0.10614863559944204,0.0,0.1279040537486985,0.0,0.06081821246161285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298670921131895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057808424251133625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171624524269796,0.0,0.0,0.06796534519775692,0.0,0.06949311597818339,0.0,0.0,0.30851827122820197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24125600552728765,0.0,0.06913723592453122,0.0,0.06323814784307652,0.0,0.0,0.06846441924327949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057594749073806024,0.0,0.0,0.17313848756731176,0.0,0.07555439097185089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057838178513594574,0.060549998552391224,0.0,0.0,0.08290855201321191,0.0,0.08218629276163279,0.0,0.0,0.054454096983308116,0.0,0.1899062192756277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623103841519116,0.046406598350081145,0.07115655498680867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920456896473981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255138386990433,0.0,0.0,0.384459816402039,0.0,0.1161888880911746,0.17638669123355302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327781221551046
mentalhealth,wilfred7777,2019/03/13,"Why do I crave chaos? Best wording I can come up with. Better explained below. I've been trying to find an answer to this for years. And only online, have I been searching. And perhaps a mental health professional would be better suited to answer this. But I refuse to go. That's a whole nother story.

Let's start with my question here. Craving chaos? Yes that's really the best way to say it. What I mean by this is, I crave chaos. I crave disorder. I crave death around me. I crave bad things to happen all around me. I crave pain (mental mostly, but phycial as well. Will describe more on these later). I crave to watch everything around me fall apart and just go all to shit. And I want to feel it. I want to feel it heavily and I want it to affect my mental and emotional state. I want it to play with my feeling to the point it hurts so bad I can't take it anymore. Rarely do these craving ever get satisfied and I'm left with that awful craving that never goes away.

Now let's dive a little deeper. Descend into this paradise of madness I call my brain. Where I live everyday. Where I wander though the sands, looking for the lost artifacts below. To find more of who I really am and to dig deep into madness surrounding.

Ever since I was a young, I've always been though traumatic and shitty events. Bit there's one big one from where so much stems from. Been through abuse, nothing physical but rather mental. My mother was the one taking the physical abuse. Though just behind closed doors. This all led to a suicide of the stepfather after he murdered his and my mom's newborn 2 month old child. It was hell for 2 or 3 years. Glad he blew his fucking brains out cause I woulda done it myself ",1.591531593406593,4.126866133928573,2.695595238095237,91.08145604395607,84.08928571428572,5.231868131868132,19.32967032967033,6.67199483983844,0.25942087912087963,1335,36,263,15,39,425,185,336,0.224,0.669,0.106,-0.9952,0,0,0,0,2,2,42.0,0,0,0,5,20,18,6,0,13,2,20,6,3,3,6,56,41,20,3,6,7,2,4,0,0,2,2,1,1,2,23,22,0,1,10,1,0,5,2,11,1,3,9,7,34,7,44,27,11,43,1,2,2,1,14,22,3,3,14,179,57,1,0.0,0.21462851195836316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536403490183216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982412985736052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418876565883561,0.0,0.0,0.08509636381613095,0.0,0.1512494303258849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19010166027588685,0.16020900826755485,0.09888231454546888,0.0,0.0,0.2022189606289414,0.09248521274410217,0.0,0.0,0.09304347387709846,0.0,0.07802066439316807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380456444831923,0.0,0.0,0.09268767846574584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188249267603493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638570218388518,0.0,0.0,0.0814012189339588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738936948777075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655642572778943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373332707919008,0.0473206813937821,0.0,0.10294950539209947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009345074228179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627491886604167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696032541914998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840788598755801,0.18523416431958628,0.0,0.0,0.09077799247673488,0.07997766427204336,0.0,0.07605855225570084,0.0,0.09887118549292163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866060600437053,0.0,0.0,0.3651053335396585,0.0,0.0,0.10607806380741794,0.07229454597173096,0.0,0.06658161467295352,0.0,0.06985552133717791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690728614186519,0.0,0.09504118202391014,0.0,0.18412393220844395,0.06888488740750458,0.0963761131798497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562080991706096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014625468323758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604683270564133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202732626923186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297193628595812,0.07492296455251428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410807236715589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907221826302604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619932626451636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601727111639617,0.0,0.26696269111242704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06149315692196415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21368933089455885,0.0718926728317961,0.0,0.0,0.0814360511147196,0.0,0.08172809167334269,0.10112157798357327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434049745754572,0.0,0.0,0.11665215183969432
mentalhealth,TheDecoyPeanut,2019/03/13,"I am terrified. I’m falling apart. I’m detaching from everything again. That wall between me and the world is getting taller and stronger. I can feel myself slipping away, back to that state I was in when I tried to kill myself. I had almost forgotten how bad it really was. I am being consumed by a black hole. I am so terrified. I don’t know what to do. Every day is worse than the last. Words can’t describe this. I can’t stand hiding this from my family. I can’t stop crying. I’m desperate. Distractions aren’t working anymore.

I need sleep, and I need help. This can’t continue. This is no way to live. I wish I was never born. I’m considering talking to my mom and getting on medication. I have to. This isn’t gonna get better on it’s own. Suicide is not an option, it would shred my family to pieces.

I just keep posting shit to Reddit because I need to let this out somewhere. It’s gonna kill me if I don’t express it somehow. I’m so thankful for this place and the wonderful people on here.

I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to reply to comments but I sincerely appreciate every fucking one if them. Thanks for reading.

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mentalhealth,juvadermjunky,2019/03/13,"Uncontrollable thoughts 28F Poor grammar as I’m on mobile but As long as I can remembered I’ve pretty much fantasised about ways I could end my life daily. 
For example if I see a crane hovering with goods I think hmm I could just stand under it and hopefully it would crush me to death or when I’m driving I think hmm shall I just crash into that central reservation and hope it kills me. 
Most of my thoughts feel like possible opportunities I could take just to end it, it’s never in a fit of rage or a dramatic response to anything.  This typically happens when I’m alone. 
The last time I argued with anyone was probably my ex 2 years ago so I don’t feel these thoughts are a response to any relationship issues currently, especially as I’ve been thinking of these scenarios since I was maybe 15. 
I have a good family, friend and work balance with recent promotions. I don’t feel like I have justifiable reason to feel these things and it makes me feel worse with guilt for people who do have big problems. 

I’ve been to my GP and he wanted to sign me off work which I don’t feel is beneficial as I enjoy going to work and being productive. I also didn’t really get much direction or diagnosis. 

I suspect my feelings aren’t normal, is this common in certain types of mental health? Any suggestions on what I could do or where I could go from here would be appreciated. 
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mentalhealth,Hitting_Trees,2019/03/13,"Anything I don't understand or agree with is a mental illness. Anyone else notice a rise in people calling everything mental illness? Seems like any time people find something they don't like about other people they chalk it up to mental illness. I know it's kind of been like this for years with violent criminals and outcasts always being labelled mentally ill but now it's small things like being vegan, playing a lot of video games, political views, or anything a person views as different from themselves. The accusation is thrown around way too much. Its just another reminder of how little people care about mental illness and how they always view it in a negative light. ",8.738724911452184,9.359912057851243,8.217544273907912,66.93462809917361,60.65289256198347,10.550649350649351,36.29397874852421,10.290406445055957,4.077650767414403,553,23,80,11,7,175,83,121,0.187,0.7040000000000001,0.109,-0.8527,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,0,8,8,1,0,6,0,7,5,0,2,0,16,11,8,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,4,5,7,15,8,2,11,0,0,3,0,6,6,0,4,7,54,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116408806140013,0.0,0.0,0.08648389431004097,0.13335489841090511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892426530778208,0.13030661986769987,0.20930966866063672,0.11321341078384915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986069478917445,0.0,0.12966418782946504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287162651938156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623904887189467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429739451103442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623636278942373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243400892355478,0.06989248507078072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24852665708291605,0.12746354606128105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812030389098236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6408163921280063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348883443170994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447904732448296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3526707034019215,0.11104498937834888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157760575614252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790613193579394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448994003745412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415722249665421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13239447646331193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094621796480878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189703541294502
mentalhealth,Cresta_Diablo,2019/03/13,"Need to know if things are bad or my anxiety just has me feeling out I also posted this in r/malementalhealth and while that sub is pretty good, it's small. 

Hey, so for context I've had bad anxiety for years. I got help when I was a teenager but I wasn't ready to cooperate in therapy so I didn't get it totally fleshed out. Now I'm older and know myself better, going to try therapy again for the first time in almost 10 years. 

I've had a relationship with a great girl for about 3 months. She's been amazing, she's funny, kind, sociable, and really cute too. 
When we first were dating, she was very affectionate, and we would talk a lot. We'd call or FaceTime each other late in to the night, and text often. And even days where we were too busy to talk a lot, we would check in to make sure the other is doing ok. For the first time in my young adulthood, it felt like I had a girlfriend who had her stuff together, was an independent person with goals of her own, and we were mature about our approach. 

Now she's still in school, going for a second BA in a different field than her first. Exams and midterms have been coming up, and she's said that has her stressed out. I know she's stressed because she had been seeming much more distant than before, texting me maybe twice or three times in a day, seeming to miss or ignore texts/social media posts, and when we would spend time together in person, it always seemed like she had to be somewhere else. 

Now if I were doing ok, I'd trust her and just wait for exams to be done. But my anxiety has gotten quite bad recently, and im having constant intrusive thoughts about her not being interested in me anymore, wanting to break up, even thoughts that she might be cheating on me. I have no proof for any of those thoughts but I can't get it out of my mind and it's really distressing. I asked her if she was doing ok, and she just said she's fine and that school has her stressed, and that things weren't really executing well for her right now. 

I guess I just don't know if my worries are valid, or if I'm just being too anxious and clingy. She's only been distant for about a week, but it's been very hard on my mental state. I wasn't very stable to begin with. 

I am going to see a therapist tomorrow. I'm mostly going to talk about my history with anxiety, but the relationship will definitely come up. ",5.068808581095674,5.178512252609608,5.8049600460729955,82.86290187891444,68.43632567849687,9.028608451515373,27.999496076596362,8.841846274778883,1.8918393348211064,1855,55,389,29,29,607,219,479,0.118,0.738,0.14400000000000002,0.961,1,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,8,0,0,7,30,27,1,4,17,3,52,1,1,2,3,87,88,39,0,10,21,0,3,2,1,5,0,2,0,3,20,34,0,2,12,0,2,7,8,10,1,7,32,6,57,17,57,45,8,67,0,1,1,0,46,23,0,20,35,277,77,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699258426938786,0.0,0.0,0.06148759229943152,0.06397727344729251,0.0,0.0,0.05228672021216487,0.0,0.23527753438030274,0.08686195940152731,0.07625259084834056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188023578185401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925957024854924,0.04687042952651613,0.0,0.06542632976057848,0.0,0.0,0.06800150459037937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851161038906371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246502491335702,0.0,0.08308900015951227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917326048941916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033196949998536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786834855395141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423035720451283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015680709222134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03887706415896144,0.0,0.07382488160779382,0.0,0.0,0.2616047929360884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034198745291979,0.0,0.17478970350547784,0.06449030694186811,0.061494643963626784,0.08476968639094286,0.08470119506311596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887686656354038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05153664578612874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305262099948113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006739319967578,0.16902332352092206,0.0,0.08673341710727224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512753610269818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073546523091015,0.0,0.0,0.051323576167996696,0.0,0.07724469034217865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748538076337724,0.08156639751805173,0.07763532340759792,0.0,0.061371553983355635,0.0,0.056521790188681274,0.057011743380456385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215451564085391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058477061157837996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342718973725594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472755865626402,0.07822310218607363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178023335521943,0.0,0.0,0.14776995336778068,0.0,0.07591797787381804,0.1650986441535458,0.0,0.06566223781959625,0.14627687187171573,0.0,0.0,0.1556302468093989,0.06127006674190424,0.20998882082992315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614031422051159,0.0,0.26422606372961976,0.0,0.08801877479753137,0.0,0.0,0.07246636769767023,0.0,0.0,0.1853998496038122,0.0,0.0,0.1758570770511704,0.08927331007748031,0.10216241742407396,0.0,0.0,0.1831223037706465,0.1793368800203826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220214815539455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19032284382599135,0.04535074579412482,0.0,0.0616752031397375,0.0,0.06913186797151495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808386003470211,0.0,0.16385785096053132,0.0,0.0,0.0990271636356054
mentalhealth,dontmentiontrousers,2019/03/13,"I feel suicidal. I feel like going to the kitchen, getting a recycling bag, putting it over my head and gently falling asleep. I've never even felt depressed before. What do I do?",2.3526470588235284,5.102427500000005,3.3426470588235304,86.23691176470591,82.82352941176471,5.752941176470588,29.088235294117645,7.1686216300943375,1.9503176470588244,141,7,25,2,4,45,29,34,0.159,0.627,0.214,0.2737,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,3,2,0,1,5,7,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,1,3,4,1,2,6,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829062133725354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286354639303164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21959231435804796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33621213503802233,0.2375155689881752,0.3192219062992725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370107362207876,0.0,0.1889495151882936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412086070107453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242731967848406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564202098808372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342226795809293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636665866073049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xougei,2019/03/13,"alone i feel SO alone in this world - i don’t know how to change. what can I do to get rid of this persistent feeling? 

I have a bunch of friends but I find it so hard to stay connected with them due to my anxiety. Whenever I am around them I would just rather be by myself. Also no one i’m friends with really understands what I go through either. 


Urgh, why can’t I just find people like me?
",1.6929087779690164,3.1688814578313287,3.251153184165233,92.87228915662651,77.79518072289156,7.634423407917385,22.70051635111876,8.418075326091056,1.076068502581756,303,9,72,6,7,100,59,83,0.123,0.742,0.135,0.4424,0,2,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,1,8,3,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,1,0,16,15,5,0,2,5,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,14,3,12,13,2,6,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,52,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4519434424995854,0.0,0.17448081515710304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690934890943884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19422907058124927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308086163493865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206396962931106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988305017227765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371351903808849,0.0,0.11399157893402175,0.0,0.12399839060288788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19544905523296366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199076356937052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659316172365932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784640410763533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126057608530813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397735757472263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325539796995678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271361310954214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968761636288053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499089781808947,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nguyenissleepy,2019/03/13,"Struggles. Hi guys, I’m pretty new to reddit. I don’t usually post anything online, and I don’t think anyone would read this post. I’m currently going through a bit more than I can handle, and particularly today I don’t have anyone to talk to. I’ve struggled with depression, suicide, and ptsd for many years. Last year, my family became aware of my mental health issues since I was going out of control because of my parents’ divorce. I was made hospitalized three times within two months for multiple suicidal attempts. This made it hard for me to keep up with school at that time, I had an F for the first time in my life haha. A lot of things fell apart later too. My fiancé at that time broke the engagement with me, and he later broke up with me too. He’s now in a relationship with a girl that he told me before not to worry about. I was a crisis counselor that helped answering the national suicide prevention lifeline during this time, but after so many hospital stays, I became mentally crippled (I’m not sure if that’s the right word) and I had to leave the job. The people from my office were the best people I’ve ever known in my life. The fact I failed as a good worker made me so ashamed, I have not been able to reach out to them and ask about their lives later.

These days I find it so hard to talk about my mental health. I cannot bring myself to see a therapist, because the last time I came clean about my suicidal thoughts to a professional caregiver, I was forced to be in the hospital against my will. I was at school, getting ready to take my final, when the police on campus stopped in front of my class and took me to the hospital. I was handcuffed and had to sit in the back of the police car because it was required by the law. The police officer that took me there was really nice to me, but the experience still really scares me to talk to anyone these days. Whenever I feel hopeless and try to seek out advice on the internet, I would see the NSPL number pops up and I would feel even more depressed because I can’t call for help, I know where my calls would go, and I’m afraid of talking to my old coworkers. I don’t blame my ex-partner for leaving me, but I feel hurt every day for the feeling that I’ve failed to be a good person. I still think of the times I was in the hospital, I tried to make several phone calls to him but in returns he either declined my calls or he would yell in the phone that I should stay away from him. I still have nightmares about it. I still think a lot about the stories of people left behind because of their mental health issues from the people that I talked to on the hotline.

What do you do when you struggle with the thought that it’s better off if you just don’t exist? Not the kind of thought “the world/people i love/my family/friends etc. would be better off without me.” My family would be hurt for sure. But my suicidal thoughts come from the feeling that it’s better for me to just not exist. I would not have to see people move on so fast, I would not need to try fixing myself then watch it all fall apart. I really did try to become a better person, I really did try to see a therapist, took medications, tried a different meds when this one does not work, tried to be less clingy when my partner felt that I asked for too much attention. I really tried to work on my self-care routines to help with the depression, I went to work out, I did try.. i just, can’t anymore, and I feel that it’s so much better for me to not exist anymore.

I’m sorry, I just don’t know where to say this.",5.411932501155803,5.2692622760055485,5.998203883495147,82.63413430420714,67.71012482662968,9.141285251964863,28.26236708275543,8.77342768361299,1.9042125751271384,2795,80,580,41,42,910,284,721,0.13,0.784,0.087,-0.9862,4,0,0,0,1,3,73.0,0,3,3,16,33,30,0,6,45,1,49,6,0,5,5,97,95,31,5,13,23,1,9,0,1,11,6,2,1,5,30,25,0,5,20,1,0,15,19,16,0,4,31,16,87,14,110,48,12,96,0,10,5,0,40,35,0,5,41,393,117,14,0.04622200046820669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045167603904201416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167960848486192,0.09695849232723433,0.0,0.03803676801565559,0.0,0.08642266185271986,0.0,0.043427090975092605,0.03554186524623402,0.0,0.14088251234160604,0.051048568038990084,0.03933151798724647,0.0,0.048507137820571325,0.20439801611551392,0.05046245311811776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18879132163001172,0.05286565485420293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039816160627735374,0.0,0.0,0.051841903861568985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942809935390256,0.0,0.11943282382051698,0.0,0.0,0.04829215263796378,0.0,0.0,0.040449184094292163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05154974875607532,0.03052919537918185,0.041810445682960364,0.038944028932997636,0.0,0.0,0.04521398576441668,0.08714797677745832,0.0,0.14022739351466934,0.0,0.044380369027101164,0.050633942199386696,0.04224607104579841,0.039316409985736725,0.0,0.0,0.03571100290310685,0.0,0.02414908750192214,0.0,0.07880708415750197,0.07753764200954635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576704747608618,0.0,0.0,0.0828116669867471,0.0,0.0,0.14739547517855428,0.0,0.0,0.0929448977876556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896321497473493,0.0,0.0,0.09648751927215413,0.045868203293020784,0.04108423778877728,0.0,0.04813310065456955,0.05080480529516826,0.07535419909962189,0.0,0.09788484913165696,0.05022033875245466,0.0,0.0652959317552927,0.0,0.0,0.040814873239731285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859258376738132,0.041717160049941145,0.1312091233327,0.03085354423224378,0.093723707289836,0.0,0.0,0.051342222516066766,0.04656380267063898,0.1863236197656744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0368939597901155,0.04912667152436267,0.06795697743133904,0.03427302767033396,0.0,0.04464149607970967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04850221411399831,0.0,0.031321223752031245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132406151497943,0.0,0.0,0.19226709139222464,0.08071853588633637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853579901498575,0.04702439158529026,0.0,0.0,0.05403104504341845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04623450879797469,0.0,0.14805498540949205,0.0,0.0,0.04962513040207084,0.0,0.039473335847128685,0.0,0.03675758998757212,0.04627628596185185,0.09355826429731487,0.14733179996234538,0.0,0.048219627132069225,0.052217703959716,0.0,0.03823531643227397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174174527324213,0.0,0.09853300493250657,0.14765179712520773,0.0386436620755956,0.0,0.14496381228486405,0.0,0.25279683188984226,0.0,0.08712737685275693,0.0,0.034753191953157625,0.1857574655904264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733461020792563,0.03070784325851521,0.08885157461234686,0.0,0.14678042129680793,0.1886669412634488,0.0,0.04381305184720406,0.044167102247685226,0.15406302974441002,0.2824353380350441,0.0,0.045152178138086335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090700332069061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428482575124344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04455635901541806,0.0,0.10095050052666936,0.046940685144759485,0.0,0.29551304662769945,0.0,0.0,0.0595309057074238
mentalhealth,imarandomguylol,2019/03/13,"I was thinking to go to a therapist because I'm not into a great mood... I just feel sometimes like my thoughts are overwhelming me ( making wrong decisions,how things should've been,what should I do next ) but I never figure anything out.I'm stuck on loop,going over the same things unlimited times.Inside it kills me and I'm afraid I might actually fall into depression.I can't change the past,but a part of me just doesn't want to let go...",3.6421915584415565,5.298249875000003,4.465129870129871,85.44090909090913,72.97727272727273,7.755844155844157,25.07142857142857,8.418075326091056,1.529215584415584,351,11,71,6,7,113,66,88,0.16699999999999998,0.81,0.023,-0.8759,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,2,5,0,8,0,0,1,1,17,18,2,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,3,1,9,2,8,12,2,9,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.20775452254825705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519420316834322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977863671215786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22521437003369366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764596008378276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629789026058017,0.0,0.0,0.2347171648621213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355364491265912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21769926086174274,0.0,0.10400959958597908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142108869356681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258476395106659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419752174850094,0.0,0.2264159349846505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23054422007468744,0.20323208633959094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105583078592988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471871624321831,0.2828755654781007,0.13641433124265245,0.0,0.1690146159317735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557081346377447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327669401536611,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,auster21,2019/03/13,"My mental health has dipped, and I’m unsure about what to do about it. I think this might be the year I go out. I dropped out my course six months before graduating, due to my health, and I feel worse than before I left. 

I spent five years working and studying with the NHS and I was about to get a decent qualification, but it’s all went up in smoke. I keep thinking about stupid mistakes I’ve made at work, at uni, and all the shite people have said to me over the years and I just feel like ending it all. I’ve had so many more positive interactions with people, but right now I just cannot focus on these, and I’m sick of interactions and obsessing over the negative. I just don’t know why I cannot feel better. 

It’s as if something is telling me I don’t deserve to have good memories or experiences, like I really am the guy everyone secretly hates or the useless person in the room.

Everything’s just going round and round in my head, and all I’m doing is making people feel worse because I feel like shite. This is the exact theory I had about other people being unkind and lashing out when they feel bad, and it’s true. I’ve been on mirtazapine for about three month but nothing’s really working. I’ve previously been on three different SSRI’s with poor results. Could it be something different to depression and anxiety? I think I’ll go back to the doctor soon.

The most eventful thing I’ve done this week is talk a lot of shite on some guy’s music post, and I feel like shite for that too. I’m still getting out, socialising and that, but I feel useless. I feel like I’m going up and down in mood like a yo-yo. 

I feel like my parents and friends would get on fine without me cramping their style, I just don’t know what to do. I’ve exhausted my options, and have pretty much decided I’m not cut out for this.

I don’t know where else to post this. I’m pretty anxious people will just make fun of it or say ‘oh boo hoo, man up’ and that, fuck it. Does anyone else feel like this or have any advice? I’m based in the southside of Glasgow, Scotland.

I hope everyone has a good one.",4.541996891996893,4.842223463869465,5.487319347319347,84.02106449106452,69.6060606060606,8.686557886557887,27.31080031080031,8.626192665926032,1.7152119658119658,1642,49,351,25,27,541,199,429,0.153,0.7020000000000001,0.145,-0.6325,3,0,3,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,2,4,20,29,4,1,16,0,33,8,1,4,6,83,75,31,0,5,17,1,13,8,1,3,6,2,1,4,22,27,0,1,19,0,2,5,9,12,0,5,10,15,35,16,51,58,9,49,0,3,2,1,15,27,1,11,22,215,57,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241374903704223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039338492588091,0.0,0.0566894964262852,0.08371663278506812,0.0,0.051815367088366,0.07592849172404861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05698154180832603,0.06187389666719361,0.04517322155964136,0.0,0.12611440176526378,0.0,0.0,0.06553912699930202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916615944442009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06382582340259821,0.0,0.0,0.154846195915155,0.0,0.07584877037798611,0.06484906907990164,0.07583430664637872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380907050202712,0.0,0.06563430999830434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161944320273145,0.0666000605496681,0.07248810950992944,0.0,0.0,0.4121623112142334,0.3176402547239485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057252707218461124,0.06850812219438115,0.11614912973112786,0.0,0.16846045753282576,0.1243101440871658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674958171918534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316253792540316,0.07605226982705893,0.15753856047523754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360217336299392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586720187603197,0.0,0.0,0.12217716136734992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051441060917609,0.0,0.0,0.28962848157192017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300072557728134,0.0,0.07011916880762895,0.09893023387628314,0.0751300094742914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467958600372969,0.07861282655453848,0.0,0.0,0.11829850221369125,0.0,0.054475100333706006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110496126540082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050214911579616966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822839245134659,0.0,0.0,0.2568725461890829,0.06470491342321287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194264420718647,0.15078118813205685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494607311793782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328456656127765,0.07049004680418001,0.058930619879947875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140980394698003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917969549907046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05956213450486319,0.06477032137442905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0492315257614121,0.14244890296086815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059441904934775164,0.0,0.0,0.0686953191663852,0.06686749812026105,0.0,0.0,0.07143378706982316,0.0,0.16184618129858447,0.0,0.15103698478630184,0.05264148476627629,0.0,0.0,0.14316199089246648
mentalhealth,TBenoit4224,2019/03/13,"Questioning what is real? Does this happen to anyone else and if so what's the reason.
Here's an example of something that happened earlier today I stepped outside my house to check the mail and i saw a car pass by on the road, totally normal but in my mind shortly after I asked myself ""did a car really pass by? Or did I just imagine it"" and afterwards for a short period I get this weird feeling I can only describe it as being high almost as if I'm in a memory or dream, this seems to happen to me every now and then.",4.12123015873016,4.548715435185192,6.160476190476192,78.37500000000001,70.57407407407408,9.134391534391536,27.46560846560846,9.23628265651192,2.2769719576719574,409,13,80,8,7,144,76,108,0.035,0.918,0.047,0.2726,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,8,0,5,0,0,1,1,20,14,13,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,5,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,3,2,10,0,14,10,1,18,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,7,6,60,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230861700671654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412673938627095,0.2070084754488016,0.0,0.0,0.1888752173879876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768019701127899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877410804171328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022298950289774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215483942923133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555481754126347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5359759832492148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21346080452397445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23312097434434664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039975025972093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795115772891805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365653045319513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22632515641608225,0.0,0.0,0.2299597751045536,0.12942863343991326,0.2077253705472732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392484736076045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553622010681722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19150531850486865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Xenoezen,2019/03/13,"Not sure what this means (anger issues?) I'm banking on hoping that the people I know irl don't follow my reddit account for anything other than r/unearthedarcana

So recently I've been diagnosed at uni with a specific learning disability (probably ADHD, inattentive type, as per the person who analyzed me) but I don't think that's the source of my troubles.

Today, maybe a few a few hours ago, I got an email from my university student support officer about not handing in my twice extended deadlines for 2 essays, which prompted me to a) drink far more alcohol than I usually do on a Wednesday afternoon and b) revert to what I call ""self-anger"" which has resulted in me self harming and ripping apart a moderately sized hard cardboard box mostly with my teeth but aided by my hands. Now, I've stated self harming (drawing blood from my wrists) maybe two months ago but this is probably the weirdest thing I've done. Important to mention that self harming my wrists was done arguably under the same emotional state as me today tearing apart cardboard with my teeth, which is to say anger at me failing to meet my academic deadlines.

I should state, if it wasn't obvious already, that I'm enrolled in the second year of university in the UK, and it's mostly my inability to meet the deadlines for my essays that have brought me to  anger at myself, which has lead to me privately bad-mouthing myself, cutting myself and most weirdly and recently ripping cardboard to shreds with mostly my mouth.

I'm not too sure why I do this, my housemate  (who is clinically diagnosed with depression, not sure if this adds to anything but thought I'd mention it nonetheless) has mentioned several times that I may have depression but unlike the brief research I've done I feel far more of an obvious emotion, namely anger, towards myself.

During my childhood I've had a history of getting into fights more often than usual but between my late childhood and teen to early adult years I've retreated into someone who rarely picks fights, but I still feel great anger and fantasise about beating, bloodying and killing many people that I know (and sometimes, people who I actually consider friends and family).

I realise that this is incredibly unstructured and poorly worded, but to be honest it's only copious amounts of Dutch courage (cheap bourbon and craft beers) that's propelling me to post this. I don't want to proof read it as I think it'll drive me to not post it at all, and I'm sorry if this is not right for the sub as it's my first time ""venting"" at reddit, but here goes.",12.161004407330086,8.411224336116913,11.071840640222684,63.080254581303684,57.20459290187892,14.235258640686615,46.861633031779185,11.958738252310605,5.562227464625376,2063,97,348,43,18,661,237,479,0.182,0.765,0.054000000000000006,-0.9969,0,0,3,0,2,1,53.0,0,0,0,4,8,26,9,0,19,0,26,14,8,3,7,70,45,30,1,6,18,0,5,0,1,3,4,1,0,5,36,21,3,0,9,3,4,5,10,17,0,4,10,6,45,9,57,31,12,53,0,3,0,0,21,20,0,10,23,234,81,8,0.0,0.0,0.08806719378248958,0.0,0.10845829731001927,0.0,0.15999547834093325,0.09644565539207348,0.0,0.0,0.09958883619960028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852973259738814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535173960896732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092151377408274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15545769975436236,0.1831958218173377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770593369242711,0.0,0.08840683936055077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20302947369245736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507600909882522,0.0,0.09126229850807327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676330254278188,0.0,0.0,0.06972392751402899,0.0,0.04714987229797108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217806533833335,0.09949666456568987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808427962939894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963475876965385,0.08887424831448125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419350134177916,0.0,0.0,0.09984395936917727,0.0,0.09919381349708573,0.0,0.10180155284236568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914953997673091,0.1813287124600592,0.09830447992149488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203359102210248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863623998767546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876958871742912,0.07879942997467355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286167094401175,0.0,0.1946011595590051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027054067406956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821430986970827,0.0,0.0,0.0770696923525124,0.0,0.07176733587789845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765855353916595,0.1019524266992656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646524359329254,0.0,0.08925571907321897,0.10102314142980907,0.0,0.0,0.07207066704347896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024102261410134,0.2551676968293965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995551128256344,0.11565213788753867,0.0,0.07164533773207828,0.10524647521612067,0.0,0.1710855368274791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815734478648775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987866999489653,0.0,0.053229499060220835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143308532453472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623108333448115
mentalhealth,wheresmy_vodka,2019/03/13,"I feel like I’m going mad? I’ve struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember and have had many ups and downs in my life. I’ve had different therapies before which have helped with anxiety but never seemed to help with depression. For weeks I have felt myself feeling worse and worse including mood swings feeling very high and very low. I get myself into a distressed state where I am in uncontrollable mental pain what I can’t seem to escape. When I’m in this state I begin feeling very suicidal as I can’t cope with what I’m feeling and experiencing. While I don’t want to die, when I’m worked up I can’t see another way to end what I’m feeling. I become irrational and and can’t control myself, I behave in ways I never normally would - including hurting myself. I feel very alone in this, I only have one person I feel I can talk to but I also feel like I’m putting on him. Depression seems common in my family and my mums auntie was schizophrenic. My GP has prescribed me fluoxetine and promethazine, I think to help me sleep but I’ve not had it fully explained. Does anyone have any advice or know much about the drugs I’ve been given? I feel like I’m going mad and have nowhere to turn. My GP doesn’t seem to listen and sees it that so long as I’m not suicidal when I speak to him that everything is ok. I’m really struggling.
Thankyou for taking the time to read, this is my first post and I’m not really sure how to use reddit. ",3.9422366522366517,4.953455845117844,5.222010582010583,82.81333333333336,71.35690235690234,8.485425685425685,25.59066859066859,8.841846274778883,1.766285040885041,1154,34,234,21,21,385,148,297,0.254,0.675,0.071,-0.9969,1,1,2,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,0,3,8,17,2,4,3,1,24,6,1,3,3,52,64,27,3,3,7,1,11,3,0,1,5,2,0,1,11,17,0,1,19,1,0,3,11,11,0,2,7,16,36,5,34,56,1,36,0,4,2,0,11,14,0,5,17,140,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425462408821963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929944146864706,0.0,0.06895127963069336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058633557299886965,0.09041073068663373,0.06595918972105498,0.0,0.0,0.06028805764206713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522484122667693,0.07336812175963688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670471188018497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852485417254555,0.0,0.08948427483219183,0.09008308644293804,0.0,0.0,0.07545299077117458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999895334679892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636663188599746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749029901758765,0.0,0.08128192984298029,0.0,0.43596166670356695,0.1847899094643101,0.08278613400006046,0.0,0.0,0.07333993963621438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504716021384324,0.0,0.09800329848891816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164939233743163,0.0,0.0,0.1733773046855932,0.091097718557548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923018685465664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047385065865995855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090077521270161,0.1263703673227919,0.0,0.0,0.15260657814317755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741503913521663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378192758917865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338270234339906,0.0,0.13299862845638924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447873554652717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842590053719756,0.06557531438602979,0.09174572477248064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528526322183461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825763359085771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667639341676704,0.0,0.0,0.08624480428359606,0.0,0.1104713649767306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767211937086707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741469935394898,0.3139711577116015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628373964446888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802748054610344,0.0,0.1886245910829933,0.0,0.08126271652677645,0.0,0.06482781619519706,0.06930155280362768,0.0,0.0,0.09860176696903894,0.0,0.0,0.05524723748528189,0.0,0.0,0.050276433423202316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937842019046106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446766801617108,0.0,0.2845669754172728,0.05085565782903654,0.13687718164095913,0.06916166366148598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627702581658014,0.0,0.17573409118865574,0.0612492595592522,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gloria_snockers,2019/03/13,"Seeking Help. How to start? (long) I'm a man about to turn 60. I've led a rather strange and destructive life. As a result, I've hit this age (which truly surprises me) and have had to get help for chronic pain. I've been a pain patient since my early 40's. Long before that, I had issues with chronic depression and anxiety. The mental issues started as early as 9 years old.

The mental issues are partially based on genetics. The rest of the issues such as the pain, ptsd, insomnia and intractable depression are mostly my fault but are based in my early mental issues. 

The issue(s) I'm now facing ... 
My pain and anxiety were dealt with by my GP for most of my life. By my mid-forties, I needed to start going to pain specialists and was declared disabled by SSI. Due to finances and hospital visits, I fell behind with my GP who eventually dropped me as a patient due to nonpayment. There was really no hard feelings ... just no money.

So, my pain MD's have been prescribing my pain medicine along with benzodiazepines for my mental issues. Last month they told me they could no longer prescibe the benzo since they deal with physical pain. Thank you war on drugs. 

It's not like I haven't tried to find alternatives. I've attempted more anti-depressants than I can remember. The last one, Welbutrin, is supposed to be user-friendly. They prescribe it for multiple issues now. Like it's a panacea of some sort. It put me into a 5-day cycle that mimicked a stroke. I'd fall over every time I stood up, I lost all communication skills ... oral and written, I'd lose control of my emotions ... screaming anger one minute and sobbing the next. And for a finale' I lost control of my bowels and bladder. They checked for; MS, Stroke, heart attack, aneurysm, etc ... It came down to the damned anti-depressant (once again). I've never reacted to one properly. 

As a result, I've been on Xanax for 35+ years. And now they want to take me off of it. It seems just cruel after this many years. I understand their position. But, I'm now in the situation of having to get a GP to refer me to a Psych who I have to convince I need Xanax. Asking for Xanax nowadays ... well, you might just as well walk in and insult their mothers. The reaction is similar.

I finally found a GP that can see me in May. All of the psychs I've managed to get a call back from want a person in a group for 3 months before you can even speak to a prescriber and/or won't even talk to me without a referral from a GP. I really don't want to come off of Benzo's (I know, what a surprise) as I tend to turn into ... not a nice person. The woman I've been with for 25 years is already threatening to leave me, just with me going on a reduced dose, it's already starting.

I guess I'm just looking for ideas. I should call Medicare and see if they've got an accelerated process for me to talk to a psych. It's frankly amazing I've hit 60 years old. I've got maybe 10 years left. I'd really rather not spend that time as a complete prick. I'm open for suggestions. Thanks.",2.7857347150911878,4.757129841402339,4.045448703814536,86.18862664188744,76.12854757929883,7.0583173213217,25.325259079598073,7.966352962830772,1.4898173748700665,2361,84,471,38,53,773,279,599,0.179,0.765,0.055,-0.9977,1,0,1,0,0,0,105.0,0,3,8,7,22,35,8,0,39,0,30,25,5,7,3,74,76,28,1,10,14,1,4,2,0,4,20,2,0,4,19,27,0,2,9,0,4,10,11,24,2,3,18,9,52,11,89,50,8,66,0,6,3,0,32,18,3,9,39,285,71,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256413723133908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709845046127049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321933666025694,0.06476301690758457,0.0,0.0437735763172003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968818711318758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625826709069638,0.06510966043247897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049037824374756366,0.05968718623091645,0.0,0.1276976050295393,0.04545181323011395,0.0,0.0,0.036713396111411736,0.05868954197785961,0.19612558474600944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601758954466969,0.0,0.0,0.06403554521829075,0.0,0.0,0.06348898251888067,0.07519988355000227,0.0,0.04796370170185312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02878415107203217,0.0,0.0,0.12472213924340468,0.052030516750132254,0.0,0.0,0.062417841182359476,0.04398188727893352,0.0,0.08922648691332921,0.0,0.06470618783051371,0.0,0.09105991721660647,0.0,0.06271183401888658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050995675095907474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745911924624327,0.07631433237799136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426398739051256,0.0,0.4159211441885639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03128575282221848,0.09280668761351273,0.0,0.06027778626807204,0.0618516731135589,0.0,0.08041886468510158,0.055623602132290825,0.0,0.0,0.10075773021681506,0.047804590703278915,0.06368708221162205,0.12428573551984275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05771534253140088,0.057191119865184034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22947729763209224,0.060390864365714725,0.0,0.0,0.0908776482791635,0.0,0.0,0.08442173656082085,0.04390583973596023,0.0,0.06054282457642765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947124082336999,0.06062571178763425,0.11572622613577553,0.0,0.4845972485667736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941343726206396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654496204182114,0.05722765538887468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940724958689814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448752847364951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072736820256737,0.05182447177160055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418169419444247,0.06398866528748108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611737309952999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042802241516827794,0.09151200748952047,0.0,0.1048220105219976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638952759121483,0.0,0.0,0.05439647040340671,0.0,0.038649896829802736,0.12384110081071913,0.0,0.0592633222507899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073158144066152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236895067217576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05487588139411563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199558711532806
mentalhealth,PlanetToastie,2019/03/13,"Eating problems when depressed Hey! I just wanted to know if anyone knew why this is happening or if they have similar problems.
I love food. I love eating food. I love love making food, but the last month I've become disgusted with most foods I used to love. I find it difficult to eat because of it. Because I'm not eating i feel sick and then I don't want to eat. My friends are making sure I eat everyday and if I don't eat they'll say ok just an apple, a ramen, something. My range of food has diminished drastically and I don't know what to do about it. 

I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and recently adjustment disorder. ",1.834241071428572,4.2987459062500015,3.7397767857142883,84.53468750000002,82.125,7.7196428571428575,24.767857142857146,8.634040054169528,2.116341964285714,508,20,99,13,14,171,76,128,0.175,0.621,0.204,0.7401,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,4,14,1,0,3,1,10,19,0,3,1,30,26,12,0,7,8,0,1,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,5,7,12,0,6,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,3,15,8,10,23,1,6,0,2,0,5,10,0,0,5,6,58,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614019084105048,0.0,0.0,0.060453496392932876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054080802691484,0.09548615133352202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893242687115044,0.0877531263456937,0.0,0.0,0.09908844449444723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6192773661002191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043715800568653776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902111436396785,0.0,0.5227272382654221,0.0,0.06679729438979508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645459032002938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503019405322637,0.07047487065011501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901589418424991,0.0,0.11542287303672735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901001072392743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545740299455045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536691882744156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875493152967786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655965020729339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814857126364532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467201757491161,0.0,0.0,0.10199042554599297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801496512653819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xXHazarDemonXx,2019/03/13,"I broke down crying over a joke So I'm a 16 year old male and I have been playing PlayStation with one of my friends for over a year now and we always play together, but just the other day we were playing some Michael Myers on modern warfare remastered and they kept saying that I had a ton of lunge and that I'm super laggy. I don't know what it was but I just got so irrationally angry and sad and upset with them and I just shut off my PlayStation and went and cried in my bed.. I don't know what triggered it but I have been suffering from anxiety and depression for about a year now and the meds don't work and they just make it worse so I haven't been taking those.

A bit of reason as to why I have depression and anxiety. My mother has a rare genetic disease called Huntingtons and over the past few years she has just been going more and more crazy, she was struggling with a meth addiction, she was mentally and physically abusive and about 3 years ago the state took me and my brother from her and gave us to my step dad. (My brother's dad not mine) ever since then he's treated my brother like a prince and I'm just the jester that's only there for their entertainment. He's mentally unavailable for me to vent to and he treats me like a maid, the only times I can actually enjoy myself is when he's a work and I can just play video games with my friend. (I dropped out because I was thinking about committing suicide and just couldn't handle the stress of school piled upon everything else and my friend is homeschooled so he can play whenever he wants as long as he does his homework)

I just need help to figure what triggerede to just cry over such a simple thing as why modern warfare has so much lunge...",4.3216379310344815,5.255694841954027,4.848908045977012,86.12439655172415,70.4080459770115,8.098850574712644,26.856321839080447,8.344100000000001,1.5954632183908048,1367,43,284,20,24,436,176,348,0.191,0.679,0.129,-0.9844,0,0,1,0,0,1,19.0,3,0,4,3,24,24,0,3,19,0,26,3,2,3,2,59,42,38,1,3,14,6,0,2,3,0,1,1,3,1,12,31,0,1,5,9,0,4,6,8,0,1,15,1,42,16,37,26,7,35,0,5,0,0,34,11,0,1,20,193,54,4,0.0,0.13408967499818966,0.11043902046611193,0.12337359690066425,0.0,0.0,0.10031967153751284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416772128112523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315171534691526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689882720246869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355392393572465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556071470505165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729406063777069,0.07298622971172641,0.0,0.19494882654249326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903710790972163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454023357223336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237006539375937,0.0,0.0,0.10171121154144222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623079694142789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643179491545326,0.0,0.09051355553342827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585644455683861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439215022534868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057971837585318,0.0,0.0,0.10015318142348016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554282880967389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570798016086968,0.0,0.2281004283528547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319404529145692,0.0839152041204884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118754410518414,0.0,0.07668791067239789,0.17214399113107692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803496485817904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635911028227275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999848792040728,0.0,0.11453556016679868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361660177466516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963752586819374,0.11831138288470132,0.0,0.1237912095371188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509085408617242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518608977078327,0.07251570235482536,0.0,0.0,0.06599118883637213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573765695848205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613133279060874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675145969373968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491107788750977,0.20423928117857407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16478034251393756,0.0,0.11533138696416464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3643935511014148
mentalhealth,iamemogroot,2019/03/13,Help so i’ve been having personal issues with school work as its my last few months in school and i have exams but also i think i have a few mental issues too. like i always feel unhappy and there’s odd times where i feel suicidal. i want to tell a teacher but i don’t know how to word it. help? ,-0.4298437499999999,1.7233732031250035,1.9112500000000023,95.60875,90.40625,5.075,14.25,6.6274283507984215,-0.5277125000000003,231,4,53,3,8,78,47,64,0.19,0.662,0.149,-0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,12,10,8,1,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,8,1,5,9,2,5,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,34,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964935653397654,0.1869235007875016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271755747428126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011510097292622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4689442004896165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345958824463732,0.18311650520641815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975070753386457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226390370387939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793103253890457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961522565894929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4547075702749702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457263055598164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635054009767156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394411122853987,0.0,0.0,0.13099291212111164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250205440758156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354499219385135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,queeridescent,2019/03/13,"Can't deal with unexpected mentions of suicide A co-worker was talking to me and another co-worker about some employee who had died upstairs years ago. Okay, fine. Tragic, but I can deal.

Then she starts telling us about another guy who killed himself. When she started going into more detail (it wasn't even graphic or out of line, really) I had to run to the bathroom to cry. This is the second time that's happened at work (completely different people and scenarios though). 

I've never lost anyone closer than an acquaintance to suicide, but I've spent weeks on end feeling suicidal.

I don't know how to deal with this. What if it was a customer I was waiting on? I couldn't just walk away in those instances...",4.353729946524062,6.276663544117651,5.0229946524064175,81.07120320855616,71.64705882352942,7.886631016042781,30.010695187165776,8.575989854853784,2.4753617647058817,566,24,101,10,11,182,99,136,0.205,0.747,0.048,-0.9816,2,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,1,0,0,2,7,5,1,0,5,1,11,0,0,1,1,18,20,10,5,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,1,2,0,1,3,5,3,0,1,8,1,10,2,20,11,2,21,0,2,0,0,13,8,0,3,10,71,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239758396397744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29330699623379997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779209260598937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140136568683336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663864274412164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362764551501346,0.0,0.4325629329691729,0.0,0.0,0.14515071198882734,0.14612203272434188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387283700100482,0.0,0.0,0.09237501007022272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071649900558133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948462777173072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848158849187206,0.12367612831080722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473235649043246,0.0,0.07686239913085194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526717267134673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786725181706183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696005349926101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959673255898971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979846819024196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4589464530886773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124127088277984,0.12224221542550885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740995355728508,0.0,0.08155243053957645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823217246765418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218579735514636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054552662434111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006408367320888
mentalhealth,Maslover51,2019/03/13,"Selective mutism? I cant talk when I get too scared. So let's start with the fact that my fear is not usually justified. I often become afraid when my boyfriend gets hurt (like, burns himself cooking or something), becomes quiet for a while (he's not a talkative guy), or get frustrated at a video game. He has never hurt me and I can't imagine that he ever would. But I can directly link these fears to stuff that happened in my childhood. Mom getting frustrated or mildly hurt and taking it out on us. Or worse, calling dad home and telling him everything we've done wrong all day so that he'll punish us. 

So I understand that I get unfairly afraid because my parents were too harsh and straight up abusive. 

What I don't understand is why I sometimes get so afraid/ upset in these situations that I can't talk. It doesn't make sense because I want to tell my boyfriend (or whoever I'm with) what's wrong so I can get a big hug, but the words won't come out. My mouth won't even try to open or form words. 

This is half an expression of frustration and half wanting to know if this is normal? I know I have anxiety problems. Is this from that? Or from the trauma? Sometimes I wonder if I have PTSD from my childhood but idk how to tell. 

So is this normal for anxiety sufferers? Or do you think it's more likely from being a child abuse victim? ",3.22597837107131,4.9272333568773234,4.093134504900306,87.49495015207843,74.16728624535315,7.567489016559647,27.468908415005068,8.296473431620573,1.8031546468401485,1059,41,217,18,22,340,151,269,0.235,0.748,0.017,-0.9948,1,0,1,0,1,0,31.0,2,1,0,0,14,23,5,7,9,0,24,3,1,2,4,49,46,28,0,8,15,3,0,2,0,4,0,1,1,2,19,11,1,0,8,3,0,1,10,20,0,2,2,1,29,3,21,38,3,21,0,4,0,1,22,10,0,12,12,143,48,0,0.0,0.23164110706937505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956056472827706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917785397583686,0.2159195874032416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981608161988527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420499638849313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304218073267863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003459584931924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456450712771357,0.08842259957336346,0.0,0.0,0.08785351162624998,0.0,0.0,0.21999714743797374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575009884624055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679019791655448,0.08644208278603632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805358014015464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31393774643868233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744427335411473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995840370542987,0.0,0.09551372387302813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525045458146346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448637420965276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539264075311371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915531019908244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854241961996652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353579992613327,0.11426726939559095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786715823062628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109877740257387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525453696560028,0.19335915296376344,0.0,0.06918961847013336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190305695852212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349760390673536,0.1571392768420941,0.2563195949796794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263576063411228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066367430946723,0.0,0.0,0.2035272934607088,0.2351680890782372,0.0,0.10766040630702498,0.0,0.11531374076462925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820629403400562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600825682090184,0.0,0.0,0.09961799876309,0.06944046680690535,0.21375370482248715,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bvbygh0st,2019/03/13,"I can never understand what’s wrong with me I don’t really know where else to ask people about their experiences, so to start I’m 22 and I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety. I haven’t really been able to afford proper medical care for most of my life, so I just about life on my own without medication or therapy. I’ve taken Abilify. Zoloft, and Ritalin in the past but I don’t anymore. I feel like I never got enough time with my doctors to actually understand what’s wrong with me. I have frequent mood swings, periods of time where I’m up and other when I’m down that vary in duration, a very big problem with obsessive thoughts and daydreams, I have a really hard time staying focused on reality. Being in the moment is VERY hard for me. I fall into depression often because I don’t know how to keep my head out of the clouds, which effects my job and relationships. I don’t know if I experience dissociation, but I’m constantly “leaving” where I am in the present and completely withdrawing into my head to the point that I don’t really see whats happening around me. I’ve had my fair share of traumatic experiences along with being an only child. I have an intense need for control over everything and I get extremely anxious when I feel like I’m losing control. I don’t even like to go out due to the fear of not being in control of my surroundings. I’ve always had issues being myself and feeling accepted by others, which has lead me to almost prefer isolation over socialization. I tend to leech onto one person (sometimes a couple of people at once; not necessarily romantically) for long periods of time and heavily base my life and headspace around that person. I hyper-focus on certain things about myself and other people and don’t know how to un-fixate. I’ve struggled with fluctuating self hatred/obsession and suicidal thoughts on and off since I was 11. I feel like I’m getting older and not much is changing, I feel like medication and therapy never helped me, and explaining my issues to the people that care about me is literally exhausting and sometimes humiliating. I don’t even know if I’ve been correctly diagnosed or if there are some issues I have that I never fully stressed in therapy. Does anyone have any advice on how they’ve alleviated similar symptoms? I just feel lost and kind of helpless. I can’t afford medical care right now. ",6.585711139081184,7.227808839207048,7.7837916928886095,68.13609030837004,65.23348017621146,11.331529263687857,34.27595972309629,11.135684009426244,4.160323725613593,1919,82,328,55,28,656,215,454,0.128,0.76,0.112,-0.8927,3,1,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,1,7,23,25,0,4,12,0,32,17,2,8,6,86,70,34,1,6,13,0,8,5,0,0,15,0,0,4,14,34,0,4,19,0,0,3,18,12,0,1,11,9,49,12,63,55,5,57,0,4,1,0,11,31,0,9,27,227,63,3,0.06727780332763025,0.0,0.06565343110796258,0.0,0.0,0.0657430907677256,0.0,0.0,0.06736900177406584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598052188104339,0.0,0.0,0.04575121331696826,0.0,0.05146733539819156,0.0760047678948607,0.06672150281597262,0.04704220437352193,0.0,0.0,0.11978301736840424,0.06289566427546664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04101192445852938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20578261296919448,0.0,0.0711709952022623,0.0,0.07053949677524696,0.07270340451966288,0.22637333153901065,0.0,0.07444160973775221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05794627342295701,0.13657110838182046,0.0,0.0,0.07710619128899696,0.06886168251045154,0.05887525906912526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056201971781068914,0.0,0.0,0.06951595532788916,0.0,0.08887270917164969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060464951533072735,0.1974318037581932,0.0,0.0757062330862866,0.2041060730055452,0.19225310455999914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029975089951299,0.0,0.038235526048678366,0.0,0.053808205265403766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059493539294265874,0.0,0.12053539414850295,0.0,0.13809287172175713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0450948934152813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21066164205597304,0.06676283866731872,0.05979960282593522,0.0,0.07005947917841816,0.1848706062115344,0.0,0.0,0.0712374795760314,0.0,0.0,0.14256090639397806,0.16434268186384998,0.0,0.0,0.05953873883594781,0.0,0.07526665292800523,0.07344166975800606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711012354747939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945692652907389,0.04988563869348725,0.20755515788513135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164866483395653,0.045589180698037725,0.05116780108458966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422427591834766,0.18656783104774266,0.11748876567968015,0.0,0.0,0.06359927025242333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437577171873655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723995342331652,0.0,0.0,0.07223118275884652,0.0,0.057454876442124166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361169876556083,0.0,0.07018542161442025,0.0,0.0,0.055652894142252184,0.0,0.0,0.06858124799896463,0.0,0.0,0.13307893556000594,0.0,0.047619575472250035,0.07170918675068318,0.0,0.0,0.07706649640383048,0.07033336761522603,0.0,0.07359099721108489,0.0,0.0,0.06992739786821807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308140942715337,0.0,0.044696383073751414,0.0,0.0,0.10682212167716336,0.15692091261641508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007713188646415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102246729370116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485340159382512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711543298452107,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SSBKicks,2019/03/13,"I don’t know what/if something’s wrong with me (serious answers please!!!) I’m an 18 year old guy and the only medical issue/diagnosis I’ve ever had is having bad anxiety. Always been a pain in the ass but I have over time found ways to control it well. Recently I’ve felt overly anxious and kind of depressed  and I don’t know why maybe it’s all the shit going on in life like picking colleges, growing up, all the responsibilities at a young age etc and changes. Ive always had incredible friends around me, very outgoing kind personality and well kind of a party animal lol. Recently I looked into schizophrenia and some of the symptoms sounded similar to what I am currently going through (nothing intense or too wild like hallucinations/paranoia etc) but I’ve just been kinda talking to myself and worried about everything and life just has a dull meaning these past few weeks. Any help would be greatly appreciated and I’ll share other info if needed! Thanks! ",4.4454212707182315,6.824874160221,5.641764502762432,74.76275725138122,72.59116022099448,8.060911602209945,31.20200276243094,8.841846274778883,2.9399306629834245,777,36,131,16,16,258,127,181,0.113,0.6409999999999999,0.246,0.9847,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,8,18,1,0,10,1,14,7,2,2,3,34,25,13,0,3,6,0,1,2,1,1,5,1,0,2,5,12,0,1,7,0,0,3,2,7,2,0,6,3,9,11,18,17,6,24,0,2,1,1,6,9,2,4,13,80,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20552345139107733,0.0,0.0,0.08398409795297786,0.0,0.09447700780117617,0.1395196194590958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109941004122401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311717313835872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064641129989166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385155253930945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637019546230793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754698419987267,0.0,0.1117126382194448,0.0,0.0,0.11099365555825096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857917389267515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541115455183794,0.09541563794891972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037556305702942,0.0,0.0,0.13615896381360335,0.0,0.12228421710299657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277931165518315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858181063586785,0.1357445188885299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446311997466607,0.1206715266402755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370872650171907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407214707140216,0.13452748574811596,0.0,0.12441305412792253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915735357105131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850138744677173,0.0,0.1295922635995088,0.0,0.0,0.09392716185589954,0.131412492962862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178945319398802,0.0,0.10783526042092056,0.0,0.1355656924344262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438823037388887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677076839696202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507617852192664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836357784599284,0.0,0.09926445992668012,0.0,0.11370202171650988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201372565107411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190026768882804,0.0,0.09802839158868512,0.09906408894533072,0.0,0.22208230112093524,0.0,0.1114393589607515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254200401763834,0.0,0.08773071345581686,0.1350276423115581,0.0,0.07952982111931464
mentalhealth,aiellooz,2019/03/13,"crippling fear of planes  

Hi everyone! (by the way sorry for my english, past tense or more)

Edit : another plane needed to land with emergency last night...hahah I begin to see sign that I'm gonna die in a plane.

Since Sunday, every news papers and tvnews talked about the crash from Ethiopie and my anxiety pop-up as it triggers a big fear in me. Letme explain.

I took the plane at least 10 times in my life, but 2 or 3 years ago I began to dream about plane crashs while I was in it. It scared to F\*\*\* out of me. Everytime that it happened, I woke up with difficulties to catch my breath and a real sensation of death. It often occurs (in the dream) while the plane is in ascention phase and suddenly, motors shut down and the plane begin to fall like a rock... Each time, I have the same sensation that I really feel it. Like, I'm in THAT plane that is about to be destroy.

last night (since the news won't stop talking about it) I had a panic attack as a begin to think about the moment I'll take a flight (I'm suppose to go back in France in two months) and I had hard time to fall asleep. I know that plane is the safest way to travel, but I can't get rid of thoses nightmare. With that include, when anxiety come I begin to think about ''Self-defeating prophecy'' and want to don't travel anymore...Sometimes, I often think that maybe I had the capacity to see my own death.

I'm scared.",3.0006866537717616,4.388696244680856,3.92894906511928,89.72454545454548,74.1418439716312,7.113088330109607,22.3926499032882,7.686295010490155,0.7688382978723403,1079,27,233,14,22,347,150,282,0.182,0.7609999999999999,0.057,-0.9875,0,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,0,0,10,9,2,5,18,0,12,3,2,1,0,34,39,16,3,2,4,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,16,13,0,1,6,5,1,8,3,7,0,1,7,4,21,2,45,29,5,49,0,0,2,0,4,16,0,4,25,135,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408527151916245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349537474439803,0.1969111357384664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641545452972873,0.0,0.09896277812413123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108641272105115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357085087353113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843576351031156,0.12297889010162814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896477974654496,0.06507486469442722,0.0919436980641846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724072503781096,0.0,0.07314348801577482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138094706176163,0.0,0.11529041271922635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073045603027492,0.20981625006323085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090500402749882,0.12575317484671356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292970002011203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272755049671146,0.0,0.0,0.09542982647318593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415534940201068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510023644039674,0.0,0.0,0.1228592369822476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648940112579395,0.0824488673835347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577034034834087,0.0,0.2051153495925118,0.0,0.13426274136259453,0.0,0.0,0.21292484850631266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728813402348652,0.14406972796042947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759942196045237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676679601755292,0.2068892527138728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24739834568117025,0.0,0.0,0.22513897566305235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299104566872242,0.0,0.0,0.12572173564734768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759109184345075,0.2043130108752535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828789340716523
mentalhealth,AnonymousChildhood,2019/03/13,"Is early childhood sexual curiosity normal? Or a product of intervention? I’m in my mid 20s now. But I’m going through a lot of anxiety and remembering a lot of my childhood that I had forgotten about. Thoughts and feelings. Even dreams about that. For instance my cousin kissed me in my dream and I said no, I’m taken and she said but isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? And I did. As a teen even.
    
And I noticed that I’ve always had a high level of sexual curiosity starting from a very young age. Even from as early as 7-8 I remember learning truth or dare and using it to see my friends naked. I remember once pretending I didn’t understand foreskin, so my friend would show me his.
    
There’s a lot of stuff like that. What seemed like a normal thing to do, but now looks like manipulation I did in order to see and touch others.
     
I have no spots if my childhood that are blanked out. I can even recall with great detail, my first birthday cake. How it felt and looked and tasted. My therapist doesn’t believe I was sexually abused. But I haven’t told him every single instance of thoughts I had as a kid. A lot of them I don’t want to post here just in case somehow this post can be traced back to me.

I can give more subtle information if needed.",1.5739203630507959,3.910329691699605,3.3158278436539312,87.97941004245355,82.12252964426878,6.277792416922853,22.413848631239933,7.526774132740827,0.9834255306690096,984,33,203,16,27,327,138,253,0.058,0.797,0.145,0.9702,0,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,0,0,1,1,15,8,0,0,10,0,20,2,0,3,1,47,44,24,0,8,9,1,3,3,2,1,0,2,0,1,14,12,1,0,11,4,0,1,7,0,0,1,14,10,31,8,28,28,6,24,0,0,4,1,13,8,0,10,15,143,45,1,0.0,0.1331578560593538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702665773421726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597422280614088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641713333327407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266194177439474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29691694899663473,0.0,0.09468921559186708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05682523637209639,0.0,0.10790723112094644,0.0,0.0,0.09559462961171084,0.0,0.0,0.1736567553763778,0.0,0.0,0.10780993942548704,0.06387098943798407,0.0,0.0,0.12390486706140448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874093034677866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16471691302228753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18875020212248766,0.0,0.0,0.3821828563796015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333205872576056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202268906872197,0.0,0.1279510754452257,0.0,0.11968636469207095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152675413977232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38193091462697576,0.0,0.21380775528455326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17911260021625253,0.10231108956142387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954668645482123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865394523107568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048765529541445,0.0746636049307956,0.0,0.0,0.17844228419137928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738869042015142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169967558421065,0.0,0.09706456232939943,0.0,0.0927294007524192,0.1325751779437268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983508454739821,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lolaiero,2019/03/13,"body dysmorphia i need to vent so badly, you don't need to read all of this i just need SOMEWHERE to put my mind at ease 

my body dysmorphia has convinced me that my eyes are so far apart that i cant even stand being alone without putting a ton of eyeliner in my inner corners to make them look closer together. ive been doing it for months now and its genuinely getting ridiculous and i dont think i'll ever be cured of this at this point. i'm sick of looking like a different person every time i look in the mirror, i'm sick of checking my face at every single angle because i can't go outside until i know how i look from every point of view, i'm sick of picking at my skin until it bleeds because every bump distorts it even further and i'm sick of being told i'm stupid by my family for thinking about myself this way. even my psychiatrist said ""why dont you try new clothes, new makeup, a hair cut etc"" i've tried everything. nothing will change the way i view my facial structure. because the way i look at it changes every single time i look at myself. i KNOW its impossible for my facial structure to change every day but this mental illness won't stop convincing me otherwise and i can't stand it any longer, i feel so alone and weird and nfkfnfkd i really don't know what to do about it anymore:( the meds i was put on didnt help my body dysmorphia at all so my psychiatrist said she'll put me on another but i freaked out while having my blood pressure checked so i couldnt be put on the other medication and i've moved house since then so unless i can pull myself together with my new psychiatrist and get further treatment i'm at a complete loss. i have no idea what to do because i can't keep living like this it's so fucking exhausting and i just want to be normal",3.3347158427403656,4.676211610354227,4.6978075126508365,84.7268903269755,73.22343324250681,7.422693655118724,27.00360062281043,7.957251820313856,1.6161873102374469,1419,51,287,20,28,472,178,367,0.14,0.825,0.035,-0.9863,1,2,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,1,1,17,14,4,1,9,0,29,19,10,3,3,39,60,24,0,6,6,0,3,2,0,3,8,2,0,1,20,11,0,2,7,1,2,8,13,10,0,0,6,14,47,4,42,45,6,50,0,1,9,1,9,23,1,0,16,180,67,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292919180030845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050206263235123484,0.07741616154921134,0.0,0.0,0.07321854637195735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164414531837777,0.1800219339214998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460221828337785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343039316842717,0.0,0.07740831962280896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047613608214603816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713560901404236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730541160458174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233886972548925,0.1462901082047006,0.0667825726279256,0.37322478603023657,0.0,0.0663527599177909,0.0,0.06959942657211715,0.0,0.03733016928683712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825373651113156,0.07714522835868785,0.0,0.04195873172660538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04948603381689458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518877309396165,0.0,0.08334397364478642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562262250914416,0.0,0.0,0.1217234907706907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213825687427139,0.0,0.06519237458267006,0.0,0.3719866795811753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928144211001495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200739427792618,0.07437496737691239,0.07440228432179986,0.0,0.07454626083888427,0.0,0.05892961696457818,0.07846856103667582,0.0,0.1642298417669669,0.0,0.2139135739022369,0.0,0.0,0.07233676123259031,0.0708409329491289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446464988826928,0.0,0.0,0.13958456934171273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710927687617649,0.0,0.0,0.07384899613676135,0.0,0.04729675876220313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045660360033735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107212575422751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172436401997596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461330596104872,0.0,0.0,0.08610058700884321,0.0,0.0,0.07054678957471977,0.0,0.1002501124986948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04354626704467236,0.17580611160601675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666192044340285,0.0,0.0,0.07116853775121969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stevenlastname,2019/03/13,"On personal victory Something I wrote to vent off my frustrations with all the bullshit and narcissistic neurosis in the average workplace.

\---

It feels about time to write something again. I know so many people have been waiting impatiently for my next post, hitting the refresh button of my website in a constant state of neurosis.

To be honest, I can't wait to publish this post myself. I have been craving for likes for a while now, and I truly have missed the sweet taste of dopamine. It will be great to feel accepted again, and to inevitably spending my time waiting for that glorious red notification button to light up, filling my consciousness with bliss.

But, let's get to the point. I have been up to quite a lot the last few months. Haven't made any money though, didn't get any articles published, nor did I advance my professional status.

I have, however, been quite successful, for the first time in my life I might add, to finally establish a stable defecation schedule. I’d like to share some lessons learned on this way to personal victory.

Some background first. I always have been a very turbulent defecator. Some say it's genetics, others say it's stress-related. For now at least, it remains one of the most fascinating mysteries in human history. And what would life be without the mysterious? To be honest, if you’d tell me 6 months ago that I would have had a stable shitting schedule right now, I’d ask you if you had missed your most recent psychiatrist appointments.

However, against all odds, I did it.

How? By following these simple rules for life, for which I coined the term ‘NISHO’.

By following this framework, you too, can achieve personal victory.

* Never stop believing in yourself. Whether you say can or you can’t, you will be right – Steven De Blieck
* Imagination. Every day before going to the toilet, I imagined myself shitting. This practice activates the mirror neurons in your brain, and preps your mind for the job to be done.
* Show up, whether you’d like to or not. Some days I felt really tired and just wanted to sleep out. However at 8AM daily, I was there, at the toilet, ready for work.
* Hard times expose your true self. It is in these times you learn who you’re destined to become. A lot of times, I had tears in my eyes, and my mind was filled with agony. However this gave me a surprising sense of peace once I finally accepted my faith.
* Obsession is passion is disguise. I started seeing shit everywhere. At breakfast, it wasn’t Nutella I was seeing on my bread. There was no difference between the “I” and my bowels, we became one. The world became one big toilet.

It takes time to become a superhero, however by following the NISHO framework, success is not an option, but a definite date in the near future.

Feel free to contact me for workshop or speaking opportunities. And, as always, thank you for the dopamine.

Source: [http://nibbler.be/entry/11/](http://nibbler.be/entry/11/)",5.294341134303185,7.7248591593927936,5.255511701454775,78.24196036263969,70.30929791271348,8.783116171199664,31.065949820788532,9.3871,3.1314089732236976,2335,102,394,54,45,727,269,527,0.054000000000000006,0.8270000000000001,0.12,0.9848,7,0,2,0,0,0,106.0,1,14,0,11,13,26,4,1,30,0,47,16,8,2,4,68,74,24,0,5,13,0,5,3,0,5,4,4,0,5,22,15,3,4,13,1,4,7,11,7,0,5,21,16,53,20,71,38,13,72,1,2,4,1,32,27,3,15,37,274,75,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620742698625825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306824641685992,0.0,0.0,0.11692541692646935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037056544627948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898947424465326,0.07315433875162515,0.09685901613391312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597121533868187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092903283531964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088738004248376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089820598693097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797739956344633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243363161933859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040740317670774,0.0,0.08254490840611414,0.18835238249310496,0.0,0.1462524774928331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983179994380515,0.0,0.0488588662520399,0.0,0.0,0.09478248859144367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701244509936829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531219371482389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047246993339771816,0.07007721656050257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791039087880441,0.1821699601937009,0.12600214422259695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617764049047816,0.0,0.08134711589059007,0.0,0.08716032564980107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120083453589273,0.17361086181769575,0.0,0.13724124419759753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630554583007485,0.0,0.09143032120045412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155549547828226,0.1747669703377205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960093691721233,0.22519768190789025,0.0,0.0,0.08126966097012545,0.0,0.16467144326563268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287985634980167,0.0,0.0,0.05507473451711112,0.0,0.08488523643375717,0.0,0.0,0.14683622346606914,0.0,0.2051009465627121,0.0,0.0,0.13701429483127145,0.0,0.08968570546502316,0.0,0.26474163520580074,0.0,0.0,0.08603232258537982,0.0,0.0,0.13236817545716734,0.0,0.0,0.060850175462879665,0.0,0.0,0.0718749667123987,0.09847861477083612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463891827581943,0.0,0.07514177547614043,0.07914984275969111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446532028602112,0.0,0.35090955139068464,0.0988101394449842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093444815651906,0.050707472551229864,0.0682391716795941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287223956140807,0.0,0.06258735564243681,0.0,0.0,0.12214157796659746,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sashabobby,2019/03/13,"How do I stop bad news, politics and the current world state from affecting my mental health? Anyone else in the same boat? I consider myself an empath, but maybe I feel like I haven't desensitised enough, or never will. I feel like I'll never be able to accept existence and life in general. Whenever somethings terrible happens that I hear of, it takes me a really long time to get over it or I'll just mourn on my own and it will eat me up deep down. 

How do I stop this from happening? It's not as much when it's happening to me, but more so hearing other people's stories and life's as well as my personal confused religious beliefs, politics and hearing about war, poverty, and injustice. No matter what I can't run away from it. I want to work in this sort of field and believe its really important to keep oneself informed on issues but whenever I am on my own I spend most of my time just consuming and dwelling on shitty reality, from the books I read to the videos I watch and stuff I search. I can't stop myself either because it's what matters to me and in my interest.

How should I take be taking a break from all this?  It's affecting my studies and progress in life. Although I've reached alot of goals I never thought I would, looking back it was because I was able to block everything else out before, and now I can anymore. Even working out and exercise just keeps me temporarily steady now. I know I need to strengthen my mind and learn how to control my emotions alot more but I dont know where to start. I used to think I was really strong in that sense but the more I'm getting to know myself the more I realise I'm not. Advice would be appreciated alot <3",4.193236894164194,5.314884311572701,5.2927781899109805,82.12573503956482,70.86943620178043,8.82141444114738,29.768669634025716,9.188382445141503,2.48178743818002,1331,53,266,27,24,440,175,337,0.134,0.7490000000000001,0.117,-0.8986,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,6,16,12,1,2,12,0,19,6,0,8,4,75,46,31,2,5,13,0,2,2,0,5,5,3,0,1,19,16,1,7,11,4,1,1,10,6,1,0,4,7,44,6,42,34,15,37,1,1,2,0,5,19,0,8,17,191,63,6,0.2015353339161688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846899791028943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993444854257903,0.07045909570205001,0.10324838297050773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467454017587536,0.07748411587389213,0.08413679284173972,0.12285406897195647,0.0,0.08574586269196424,0.11353065367859345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301950694212975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180989551964518,0.0,0.0,0.10311047997375493,0.168356911037746,0.11335006237066915,0.0,0.10411993686299427,0.0,0.06655609366331351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056348152525212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190232028725428,0.14397688281837476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052938939070432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673255453021101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071113178679016,0.34071745269816495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517526404245436,0.0,0.17913386477393525,0.0,0.0,0.1661378233740192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21352554967934365,0.09845998420851336,0.0,0.0,0.08917621428435064,0.08461946125935726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123466555439536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155010748553972,0.0,0.10174661799484183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407582969055462,0.07471794822694777,0.2331547106630789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985961243620945,0.08798643999769425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079493611985793,0.0,0.19366304327078684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757587308711719,0.0,0.0,0.07132387332126762,0.0,0.0,0.2527388449632016,0.0,0.0,0.1153548702139106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272942345847825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456785216668147,0.0,0.07999827170709377,0.1175168739107415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703091047668363,0.0,0.0,0.059435380772103676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060223430561742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467201233652132,0.0,0.0,0.1431649188828331,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ToxicDuck867,2019/03/13,"Should I get medicated? I've had mental health issues my entire life. When I was a kid I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, adhd, and ocd. I was on a ton of medications which I stopped taking sometime in my teenage years because of various side effects and I didn't think it was worth it.

As an adult I started seeing a psychiatrist again mainly just to treat my adhd, which I am being treated for currently. For a long time I kind of thought that I didn't have depression anymore but I've been starting to think that I've just been depressed for so long that I just didn't realize it.

Recently I've found out that I'm probably going to become homeless in a couple months, of course this has greatly increased my general anxiety and depression. My question is since my depression is peaking, if I get medicated now what is going to happen when I'm not as depressed? I don't know if that makes much sense, I can try to clarify if need be. 

Currently I keep switching back and forth from feeling a lot of anxiety and sadness, to feeling nothing at all. 

I know this is all things I should be telling the psychiatrist but he's very hard to talk to. I would appreciate any input.",5.965844155844157,6.307240021645023,6.935909090909089,74.72386363636366,66.53246753246754,10.409523809523813,35.980519480519476,10.290406445055957,3.7760077922077926,939,45,175,22,14,315,130,231,0.161,0.78,0.059,-0.9761,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,9,11,0,0,8,0,25,6,0,2,2,38,47,15,0,7,9,0,3,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,14,7,0,2,11,0,1,3,5,7,0,0,12,4,24,4,25,29,8,25,0,7,1,0,6,6,0,5,16,123,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541775470067275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191239495697688,0.0,0.2426912260159841,0.0,0.10487378836018196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813138300950559,0.0,0.06446311465391537,0.1167905668248003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170083600538949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5464845627337067,0.10733218611737984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693892373522854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159474313001981,0.0,0.0,0.11049812858597802,0.0,0.12019826584929318,0.0,0.0,0.11658775198346208,0.0,0.0,0.0935127745241878,0.0,0.09472960651610994,0.0,0.0,0.11240538017550952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037363534572374,0.0,0.09399384945041647,0.0,0.1101204661448826,0.11623287852686455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469307342009608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871676395879548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990332891813327,0.0,0.0,0.0705877374794446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195905262181961,0.1065693025348972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440719577105346,0.0,0.07773708664897608,0.07841094240612426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146823963976186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401443367672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846217358165352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441357933800673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426761557629785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747599492781426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458766315270464,0.0,0.1496982252828672,0.0,0.0,0.08841022131213801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795094777992653,0.08499638885727079,0.09242857845367967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025439807420042,0.13551833950662068,0.0,0.08395225008536951,0.061662619562133376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179607901434149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725333098610538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512047958679502,0.0,0.0,0.06809836679310417
mentalhealth,phazer213,2019/03/13,"I think my Dad is going into a schizophrenic relapse and I dont know what to do. Sorry in advance for spelling  or formatting I'm desperate for help. 

Im not even sure if this even the right place to post this but I am very worried and scared. Mt Dad is suffering from delusions and is refusing to get help. This has happend before 9 years ago and it got to the point were he actually got help for himself. His schizophrenic symptoms occur when he has trouble sleeping and ever since 9 years ago he has had trouble getting sleep. Me and my Mom at are a loss in what to do and really do not want to go through another traumatic event like 9  years ago. 

​

Some more information my Dad is 63 years old and has had no prior mental health problems before a schizophrenic episode 9 years ago. No history of drugs or other illnesses either so it was very strange that he would develop something like that at that age. I live in So cal California and have no idea what to do or were to start looking for help regarding this issue.

Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.",4.421071428571427,6.024316857142857,5.318273809523814,80.31026785714286,70.90476190476191,8.678571428571429,30.744047619047624,9.188382445141503,2.740690476190476,860,37,162,18,16,281,124,210,0.218,0.6729999999999999,0.109,-0.977,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,0,1,5,0,24,9,2,0,2,31,36,18,0,5,9,4,0,2,0,2,7,0,0,0,13,10,0,1,4,0,0,3,6,6,0,0,7,1,10,4,21,26,3,29,0,2,1,0,17,9,0,6,18,102,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.10373751138966276,0.0,0.0,0.10387918060357733,0.37692884362093065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115180497168125,0.12917117227510533,0.0722904642219722,0.11146916532040364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18091399619407209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458766674078307,0.0,0.12327905937498525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042577096638664,0.0961581855753986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107905689858466,0.0,0.12083019126424485,0.0,0.1700422723497279,0.11720069563144117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299633559411153,0.0,0.0,0.35626713945769783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000444081387945,0.11482671895544053,0.1109539091526938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842197823887061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386967166193503,0.0,0.09386850800353792,0.0,0.08926870878432759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071295755991518,0.0,0.0,0.12450213034024647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154831835462377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106520629817894,0.0,0.100491777974797,0.0,0.10180998614921252,0.0,0.0,0.10171871049525118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810115764047435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078315936763973,0.0,0.0,0.10642899449104594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793588762262547,0.0,0.2127618340399915,0.0,0.0,0.08183812470843449,0.0,0.11899878756870362,0.07524262128509411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019039901695556,0.11049071023987896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811540402308612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754241061133507,0.0627009392244723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795701981779372,0.0,0.1510308298077267,0.0,0.12917117227510533,0.3422819217171702
mentalhealth,gk3842,2019/03/13,"I feel like I am a bad person? Possible Attachment Disorder? I am 24 years of age, male, unemployed, never been in a relationship, never stayed in education, struggling with life. I don't know what to think about it all. I don't want people near me, I care about people, but if someone is kind to me I feel upset (I don't show it) and then I feel like the best thing to do is cut myself to punish myself for not being good enough. I don't know why this is. I don't know how much longer I can live like this, it's very difficult because my mind is up and down all the time. I genuinely don't feel depressed, but just fed up of not knowing what is wrong with me.

​

I have saw mental health professionals for the past two years, a team of professionals that all work in the one building (psychiatrists, psychologists and an occupation therapist), they aren't 100% sure what is wrong with me. I have anxiety and at times get to the point where I don't want to be here, my mood fluctuates, in the past I have been in a deep depression to the point where suicide was the only thing on my mind everyday for about a year. At the moment I don't feel like that and haven't had constant suicidal thoughts for some time. When I was very young I had my first suicidal thought, I can't remember what age I was, but I'd guess 6 or 7. My Mother died when I was aged 5, just before my 6th birthday, but I didn't know her and didn't know she had died, so I was oblivious to it. I was in care when I was aged 2, but only for a number of months and then was taken out by my grandmother. I don't know why I am suffering like this,  everything from autism, to insecure attachment disorder, etc. has been mentioned, but still no real idea. The professionals don't know.",5.091798350625169,4.9318867486033575,6.022817238627298,82.24563314711361,68.38547486033521,10.059271082734767,28.77946262303805,9.842372674337009,2.333350731577547,1368,42,299,29,21,454,169,358,0.189,0.6829999999999999,0.129,-0.9739,2,0,0,0,0,2,50.0,0,0,1,4,14,24,2,3,17,0,46,3,0,1,6,55,71,22,5,3,12,1,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,15,11,1,0,18,2,0,0,20,12,0,3,21,6,45,11,40,48,8,46,0,3,1,0,9,19,0,4,31,207,60,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137985481385907,0.10247952786143764,0.0,0.0,0.06451810407966757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041845062390838,0.051411474681003946,0.0,0.07176516473044184,0.0,0.08850720527553314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197579705799124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113908430376218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527986229738174,0.0,0.17505841965411553,0.0,0.19331660503819534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871433814543247,0.09405882103233892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579728008067653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21321835748800502,0.18075259356748846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173759833401022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04406296353034875,0.0,0.0,0.07073845526925063,0.0,0.0,0.0929074768340797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964702354093942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520698944877773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782472872219672,0.37079832233152266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957020652197725,0.20601568298008566,0.0,0.07447172779985753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499255781325077,0.0,0.17031405532408184,0.0,0.06731754169148704,0.0,0.061997908160121726,0.0,0.13009285574142307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057149403255994526,0.12828523141375925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610197413984187,0.11693827403661397,0.07364042021669953,0.0,0.0,0.15945275992201202,0.09507807655776893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599475817309867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905471194686426,0.0955381651882204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145905334584474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989275894029404,0.0673521903405319,0.0,0.0,0.08816806809532482,0.0,0.2767552417853441,0.0,0.07948727728226601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792256156178952,0.11206043106083603,0.05404018808089929,0.0,0.13390941479788185,0.1475339605324414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238567103025947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917485808461325,0.09948911254761432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220329956113818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139884474893765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442005484811247,0.10247952786143764,0.1629321269534134
mentalhealth,throwaway_7278234,2019/03/13,"I've become a recluse. I am not a mean person. I am very non-confrontational. I have always treated people with a LOT more respect than they have given me. I have been labelled as ""too nice"". It is not in my nature to hurt people. I sense other peoples' emotions very well. I love animals and that has been turned against me (I was bullied about it and other things as a meek 12, 13, 14 year old at a time where I felt they were the only beings that were nice to me and accepted me). I am a victim of physical, verbal, mental and emotional child abuse. I have always felt that I am ignored, shunned and excluded, and it made and still makes me hurt inside. Social situations are painful for me and exhaust me. I suffer from GAD and clinical depression. Looking back, as a 19 year old, I realise that as a young, impressionable child, I did not exactly grow up in a healthy environment (mentally). I was targeted by bullies because I was so meek. And it has shaped the person that I am today. Everyday I suffer with depression and anxiety, which I internalise. People complain about me always being tired, but the truth is that it's just worse these days. I'm mentally tired, not physically. Like I mentioned before, my love of animals, my one source of happiness, was turned against me. I was relentlessly bullied about it (people were insinuating that I was having sexual relations with them - umm sure, as a meek 13 year old girl) and my own mother was very neglectful of our animals and was constantly replacing her menagerie (she cycled through them - it was animal abuse - and despite trying everything I could do in my power to save them, it just wasn't enough). In that sense, I watched heaps of my best friends die. Looking back, I was totally powerless, I was just stuck in a shitty situation. I also had one ""best friend"" who really was the opposite in so many ways. I was used. I don't really talk to her anymore, We haven't spoken in months, and even them it was extremely brief and we only happened to come across each other in the supermarket.

​

I believe this has traumatised me as I suffer from a dissociative disorder - the world around me almost doesn't seem real, like I'm not really part of it, like it's dulled down. It's been like this since I woke up with it one morning when I was 12.

​

Now, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm out of there, I have a boyfriend (who is very supportive) and we live by ourselves. Currently I don't have work we just moved to a new town, I'm currently looking) but he does. I was planning on going to university this year but deferred because mentally I am not prepared. I've cut everyone out of my life except him, my grandparents and my 3 siblings. They are the only people I talk to. It's just too painful for me to even attempt to try and make friends because I've been hurt in the past by so many people. 

​

I need guidance on how to start recovering because I can feel myself slipping.",4.1219022687609055,5.82597546596859,5.2740802792321135,79.92951483420595,71.82722513089007,8.723350785340314,29.48726003490401,9.270117722386633,2.677730610820244,2334,96,439,52,45,772,257,573,0.179,0.7170000000000001,0.105,-0.9917,5,0,0,0,2,0,96.0,5,0,7,6,26,40,2,0,22,0,57,9,0,5,5,73,87,34,1,2,16,1,3,4,3,0,7,0,0,5,34,33,0,2,6,0,0,5,12,17,2,3,32,7,79,23,65,52,9,53,0,10,4,2,35,23,0,3,28,320,113,1,0.0,0.1467317842376714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062004626453505324,0.0,0.0,0.04951795329680254,0.1545689229393888,0.2012731247268809,0.2257212471525913,0.0,0.0,0.04736915824616863,0.0,0.06140868573940291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055122541909629126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522637670768752,0.0,0.15098511120700095,0.06838653707101053,0.052689946382816495,0.0697634132695221,0.1299638875762966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053339191467902385,0.0,0.0669142679931344,0.0,0.049438632307929185,0.0,0.0,0.03993372237842605,0.0,0.10666439885847497,0.0,0.06426390004176576,0.0,0.07096647511804516,0.0,0.054187212958523655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930488355467147,0.0,0.0639806250524498,0.0,0.08179606330786497,0.0,0.0,0.05916787269867154,0.0556503233625279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03130896129361122,0.0,0.11890714542193935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351931411735214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03519095500112075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05475626153270323,0.06591572574933369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19886213745604944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04373641444906863,0.12100528529140828,0.0,0.05467710357175179,0.0,0.15599335303379694,0.0,0.0,0.05264275620042301,0.1117716802584388,0.058590853909901985,0.08266508258562093,0.1255557213301944,0.0,0.067449783912212,0.0,0.0,0.24960596584370404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049424503875525744,0.0658118938970075,0.0,0.04591340692500708,0.0,0.05980338810343705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492604342983572,0.0,0.12587718587473673,0.14128042463820106,0.13177595945420778,0.0,0.0,0.06705407297372051,0.059110304928059375,0.3004960685704574,0.10813351595861613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704793012065154,0.1190039384515647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056370270455377215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05122143450959082,0.13920289951939493,0.0,0.06312034543946568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382778297552281,0.0,0.04944994289551919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702668650414348,0.11671903475314098,0.0,0.0,0.09953900996489516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0411373549159162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03610645220094953,0.14233744814812313,0.05869357377575135,0.0,0.0,0.08408016764629417,0.13470385915283725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05347959496468991,0.0,0.20436421592170487,0.0,0.0491497614271819,0.0,0.0,0.05567413654552622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045078999678183865,0.0,0.06310247298341827,0.0,0.0,0.2257212471525913,0.15949957643952395
mentalhealth,emanresuboo,2019/03/13,"does anyone else edit conversations in their head? maybe editing isnt the right word but idk what this is...

after speaking with someone i always think about the conversation and what my replies were, wishing i should have said it better and thinking about better responses.

sometimes where i mess up bad i wont say anything and ill just stop speaking in the middle of a sentence, it gets really awkward... or ill word something poorly people will understand what I'm trying to say but ill still think about the conversation later and ill want to call them back just to correct it.

example: talking to my boss, messing up a sentence, he would understand, conversation would end, and i would still be having the conversation in my head until i find the right response and i would be ruminate about the conversation for 1-3 days (some conversations still make me cringe from years ago most people wouldn't even remember/think is cringe)

worrying about every conversation makes me very standoffish, alot of people think I'm being rude because I'm so quiet/hesitant to answer someones question",6.936354933726072,8.826446067010313,6.601914580265095,72.41123711340208,65.1340206185567,9.25419734904271,32.929307805596466,9.606745405546679,3.384852430044184,883,37,138,18,14,276,117,194,0.16399999999999998,0.767,0.069,-0.9716,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,2,14,7,1,1,10,0,17,6,2,3,1,39,32,11,0,8,5,0,0,0,0,8,4,5,0,0,7,7,0,1,9,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,2,5,14,2,22,19,3,21,0,0,0,0,19,9,0,5,12,90,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428690667469097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789167179779716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226147017641694,0.12054318455075745,0.09681340074369926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046322868036412,0.09823027397850594,0.07171647769596642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080983014883241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013067113362574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587253835493449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029536228699708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827891543548632,0.0,0.10420026215905133,0.0,0.0,0.07770468893179651,0.0,0.09912261415356577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075271643563478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061465666193194074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24147938643600225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570604811055572,0.0,0.11819215586498286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24468470824229244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179148843637736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536763706449548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093967397470705,0.11190917306495818,0.1871151244172328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936372715430825,0.09057035584661537,0.11635582382317627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281858975236669,0.0983581029068736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945601474338614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3769170177705126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798745441782206,0.0,0.0,0.2449492101939461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707103975907146,0.0693912085315926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13528816557351822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947617001089425,0.0,0.3342920197213565,0.0,0.0,0.07576076690474905
mentalhealth,SharpTransportation9,2019/03/13,"worried my bf will fall in love with my gorgeous friend that he hasnt met yet i know this is completely irrational and stems from insecurity. im going steady with a man i really like. i have a girl friend who seems to fit his taste and has the same characteristics as i do (the ones he definitely likes)... and she's pretty much way prettier and smarter than i am (not saying this out of insecurity, but she truly is). my mind plays games with me about what could happen between them and i could use some reassurance/anecdotes/wisdom/guidance/empathy/anything here. thank you.",5.17314220183486,6.73381543119266,5.8540252293578,77.35975344036699,69.0,9.119724770642202,28.303899082568808,9.516144504307137,2.47218256880734,458,16,87,10,8,149,85,109,0.064,0.6679999999999999,0.268,0.9652,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,3,10,0,2,4,0,10,2,0,1,0,19,18,7,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,0,2,5,9,1,0,2,2,0,2,2,2,0,1,1,2,15,8,12,14,3,7,0,0,0,1,17,3,0,2,3,59,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18761952042499327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390472244208922,0.0,0.0,0.3640690903243706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35229498130959797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957416474534084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016142174161371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24627249271767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252994628886628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22277256713985968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20577336010360145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302088048329151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760172039264898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449454004770616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231951720868553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460587048175339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18130986845697047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20755704727228474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20990611432543935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19691349235188813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18097091380887625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23153883189169766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,freshbannana,2019/03/13,"Severe media/political anxiety M28 

I was diagnosed with severe anxiety 5 years ago. Lately the political atmosphere has been making things worse. Does anyone else feel like they are the only ones in the middle. Everyone else seems to be crazy right wing or crazy left wing. Does anyone else have this problem?",4.962777777777777,8.242138981481483,5.401481481481483,72.36666666666669,75.85185185185185,8.785185185185185,23.814814814814817,9.2995712137729,2.81905925925926,251,8,37,7,6,80,43,54,0.306,0.655,0.039,-0.934,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,1,0,6,9,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,2,1,3,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,4,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987222496844335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586794039336637,0.0,0.0,0.23643830194278576,0.3464687149990631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160463348958635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29591228697991795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4237141610618821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615556472649924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548793925284258,0.12078514971489172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907207052091358,0.0,0.18369734304779325,0.0,0.0,0.08260009315907624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285694680412173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456763787704136,0.12858695892019126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617791763176991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438665880158627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539168997388276,0.0,0.3820067214097481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123239977556228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722989251071507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887689608772252
mentalhealth,humanbeingaliveish,2019/03/13,"(20M, UK) Counselor I've been seeing suggested I'm bipolar and should ask my GP for a psych referral; terrified and in denial about this, don't know how to proceed 20 year old English twat here. I'll cut the shit, basically I had some pretty bad depression last winter and mates got concerned so dragged me to a GP, who in turn recommended I do some counselling (and also start SSRIs which fucked me up proper for a few weeks and just made me way worse, so I stopped taking them).

Had 3/4 ~hour long meetings with the counselor (props to the YMCA) thus far, most recent one this afternoon. At the end of today's session they said to me that while they rarely divulge their suspicions to patients, and were of course in no position to diagnose, they were worried about me and my behavior and had a strong suspicion so may as well be honest. They said they suspected I'm bipolar and that what I'd been experiencing (for many years, essentially my whole batshit insane life) were dubbed depressive and manic ""episodes"". Furthermore they advised I return to my GP soon and press for a psych referral.

As they said this to me I just zoned out for like a minute, everything became white noise... I just couldn't process what she was saying and had this awful sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't really know jack shit about this disorder (they don't teach you this shit in school) other than it's apparently a pretty serious and lifelong mental illness that's not ""curable"", hooray. I know mental illness and suicide runs in my family but it's kept on the hush and I don't know the details; perhaps the genes for this shit have been passed down, double hooray.

I'm terrified of getting diagnosed (just from Googling, this illness seems - no offense to you lot! - really shitty and kind of hopeless), there's still so much stigma here and I know my parents would think I'm having a fucking laugh, not to mention treatment on the NHS (*especially* for mental illness), is apparently abysmal and I'm a broke fuck who can't afford anything privately. 

I don't want to jump the gun, hopefully I don't have this, and if my GP when I next see him refers me to a psych hopefully they'll also say I'm in the clear, but I have this horrible premonition my counselor was onto something, and as much as I'm denial about this I have to admit that [this is me to a fucking T, Jesus H. Christ](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-disorder-signs-and-symptoms.htm/).

Ultimately I just can't register and accept this; I'm firmly in denial, and so scared about seeing my GP again, possibly being referred to a psych, and God forbid being diagnosed with this bullshit. I know it isn't the end of the world (and that mental illness is legitimate and nothing to be ""ashamed"" of, and treatments exist), but it fucking feels like it. Like, apparently you can have your driving licensed revoked with this shit, and what if I meet the perfect girl but she finds out I have this and walks out. Honestly right now I just want to go out and dance to pounding music while getting stupidly smashed, do cocaine, hook up with random girls and then maybe jump off a bridge lol.

I guess I just wanted to vent, I don't really know where I'm going with this, my thoughts are all over the fucking shop right now. To anyone who's read this steaming pile of shit post, thanks for reading, honestly means a lot. Sorry for all the fucking swearing too :P I'm just angry and confused and lost right now (don't even know what to flair this as but I suppose rant/story is most applicable). Fuck this, fuck the world.",6.802609809663253,7.053314969253298,6.6874051976573945,77.52964366764279,64.75402635431918,9.641127379209372,33.766068814055636,9.3871,2.9958990043923865,2856,114,524,48,40,904,319,683,0.182,0.696,0.122,-0.9892,5,0,2,1,0,3,113.0,0,4,11,3,35,44,18,3,31,2,47,28,7,3,4,106,106,56,1,10,17,1,3,3,1,4,12,6,0,2,39,41,0,3,20,4,1,9,16,29,1,1,20,14,61,15,76,77,13,67,1,5,4,9,37,28,15,15,31,343,100,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925139050659568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04339059103736597,0.0,0.0510663214454776,0.0,0.0580134388459127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181368186769518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689648096721087,0.1889548286554401,0.0,0.0,0.07112088511211266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992536242382656,0.0,0.0,0.04098701824675045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557714082281066,0.0,0.0585003251802176,0.0,0.06275416766687633,0.04433240292796645,0.0,0.0,0.05671752770754024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.516323104885915,0.06484278919179177,0.0,0.07053504809016019,0.0,0.049631386543610184,0.0,0.06836103897714647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327006381749794,0.06111208649321035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462116837009113,0.2728322781904212,0.05058344799305744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04383157684066806,0.09095142789803387,0.0,0.0,0.054917092047779295,0.0,0.0,0.0677408191220855,0.10551459430632557,0.0,0.058718336828978764,0.0,0.06291445374058452,0.06234300806882885,0.0675965422331856,0.0,0.0,0.25014906250506463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123574464958424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659966409116541,0.0,0.0,0.059543847093336315,0.0,0.06511672221318535,0.0,0.04205035715780669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890519778475013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699581596543111,0.05943193662077938,0.1262653386052183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414442190142763,0.0,0.11926286912833498,0.0,0.06127223872852045,0.0,0.0,0.15898496339634585,0.17708673883572867,0.09869791802993566,0.06212829894638035,0.06280339586845528,0.1483504011090253,0.0564929217933804,0.0,0.0,0.3821939681199451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777329243230368,0.0,0.06946595975730308,0.043923144168226624,0.0,0.04955753687389327,0.05188110799977926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787855515153997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046657951348702265,0.0,0.0,0.057132291369433284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03976260608527887,0.0,0.04926507013398408,0.0,0.0,0.05882128019435871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749847498435993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098056797863831,0.04925670226590563,0.04977711309288247,0.0,0.055795273224210185,0.0,0.0,0.06928265792884124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06302028909203387,0.06323977235559093,0.044082388400295235,0.0,0.0,0.07992330908726195
mentalhealth,Bipolarapparently,2019/03/13,I dread having to do anything I am somewhat of a hedonist. I apparently have bipolar but I’m not overwhelmed by sadness. I just feel like I don’t want to do anything. I can spend hours doing literal fuck all. I have had pretty bad manic episodes but that’s a story for another day. My depression is questionable and never really been brought up by doctors. I can relate it to some degree. I struggle making decisions and tend to self loathe in my head and to others sometimes. I’m quite lazy and lack interest in motivation in everything. I can function and do the basics though. But work or any other responsibility I usually dread. I dread meeting new people and most social occasions. I have a gf funnily enough but I guess she expects me to get a job soon. I am intending to but I worry about it aswell because I often quit things on impulse. I feel scared about having to work again soon. My CV is looking pretty terrible and it’s only going to get harder. It’s something I hate and I’ll have to do it until I die. How do I deal with that? Any help or insight to what my problem is or is everything I said normal?,1.7863513513513531,4.307241653153151,4.031758558558561,81.97315135135136,82.91891891891892,6.7952432432432435,25.54666666666667,7.976525956113202,1.9393756396396404,885,37,163,18,25,304,132,222,0.263,0.618,0.118,-0.9913,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,5,9,15,2,6,5,0,24,4,1,4,2,40,40,19,1,5,10,0,2,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,11,9,0,0,6,0,1,2,3,13,0,0,4,4,28,2,24,36,6,16,0,3,1,1,9,5,1,9,10,123,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539423293014265,0.14293545229204846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22434700573893868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138151726450309,0.0830947829000861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879102307479377,0.1405321142753312,0.11740568318900828,0.0,0.14147076568264308,0.0,0.0,0.13952153267342207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084716316845972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450176180240175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784730537850226,0.09738161642130803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260186310404882,0.1424352213667037,0.0,0.07746948669278426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016349297942125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345802888400186,0.13989586379166358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913673383465431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424027060426688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526903841013393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659536050059432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446809733381452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098959541053543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513253774336856,0.1316513797001269,0.0,0.0,0.13355722470881848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367173398307844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450186513881052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773574622458202,0.0,0.13043257163908595,0.0,0.0,0.15270110121869407,0.2899700644870725,0.0,0.0,0.0873252234460891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966432177251047,0.0,0.13647250718025292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220357734488978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895334073516616,0.0,0.10493995659077564,0.13481646380816736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250333262290224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905599114639946,0.0,0.13392625551614146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15012886690896604,0.0,0.08040059402459457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19847412300017836,0.138431874064939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bahhbahhdaze,2019/03/13,Do you suffer from PMDD?(Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) If so what are some things you do to cope? Feeling hopeless with this struggle and I’m looking for advice from other women! Thank you!! ,4.278181818181821,7.6901113636363645,4.505212121212125,74.51781818181819,86.87878787878788,6.276363636363637,27.81212121212121,7.554174236665415,2.558823030303031,157,7,22,3,5,49,29,33,0.245,0.6579999999999999,0.097,-0.7927,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,7,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,1,5,7,1,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4125273279538612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838289573809403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21345546716489366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545058951246854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413305773958153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38866581767764347,0.0,0.0,0.2804626199239878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anxiousIesbian,2019/03/13,"Mother doesn't believe in mental illness and denies me therapy I am posting here because I don't know where else to ask this. I have been struggling with anxiety, depression, and what I suspect are personality disorders for a while now. My abusive mother ignored all of my suicidal thoughts at a young age and made fun of me for them. She has never taken my problems seriously and thinks I am making them up. I also believe I have been developing BPD and/or AVPD due to her abuse. I show many of the symptoms but I'm not entirely sure that I have AVPD or BPD. I went to a therapist once and it was terrible because my mother was in the room and I had to lie for the majority of it. She said she would never bring me back and so I have been continuing to struggle and I don't know what to do. I don't trust the rest of my family besides maybe my aunt and I don't know how to tell anyone about this at school. I also cannot afford therapy even if I was able to go. I have two years left of high school and my plan is to move out of state for college so I can get away from my mother and find therapy. The problem is I will still be 17 when I go to college so she might still have control over me until I turn 18. Please help, I am at a loss of what to do and I just feel like my issues are getting worse.",2.000951778656127,3.5121441054545457,4.005407114624507,87.64167588932806,77.03636363636362,7.109881422924903,24.683794466403164,7.893859768569023,1.237112252964427,1019,35,224,16,23,348,148,275,0.166,0.785,0.049,-0.9807,1,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,2,3,16,13,0,2,9,0,34,2,0,4,4,40,53,24,1,4,5,5,1,1,0,3,2,1,1,1,8,14,0,2,8,1,0,5,9,9,0,1,12,2,44,4,36,37,3,34,0,2,0,0,17,13,0,3,15,168,52,4,0.1035314207319139,0.24533560796823276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165588079508879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920125348195407,0.0,0.0,0.0723915766011876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678790266985828,0.0,0.0972711778235991,0.07960927192962765,0.0,0.12622358626853925,0.0,0.0,0.2332889155180479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607884002452957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611929180623297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917146097032055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865597770042062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648721715976918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838152696534527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097600209405564,0.0,0.052348597093184734,0.0739628676574353,0.0,0.0,0.09462584291913867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818178846123433,0.0,0.11767858456894742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939492896791569,0.10938663027270236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080599049365594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706944837610932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248719155407312,0.0,0.0,0.05058022259555437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979639335815646,0.06910802727320986,0.10496461072312416,0.10401122769396252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433532124773487,0.10983047646180848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110037515625179,0.0,0.0,0.15969962835617196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025758417944352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039964319004963,0.0,0.1136464100614959,0.0,0.0,0.09915448233316466,0.0,0.0,0.1981311748333184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848208957284098,0.0,0.0,0.20955865011890756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653606526669892,0.0,0.0,0.21646704006085807,0.0,0.11324657045116247,0.0,0.09757713879579263,0.10760878761345,0.0,0.0,0.09049102505178028,0.0,0.3551916073791869,0.12020795915330786,0.0,0.06633875398946518,0.0,0.08219238348922214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261245596045845,0.10113515435126964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959746642554034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550736266254228,0.07354575082637542,0.0,0.0,0.066670840540389
mentalhealth,SlimyEggs2610,2019/03/13,"How do I get out? I can't cope like this anymore. Doing nothing day in day out just sitting and smoking weed not knowing what else to do. The world is getting more and more fucked but no one with power seems to give a shit. My country is going down the fucking drain and the politicians don't seem to care. Ive fallen so far behind in uni because I can't fucking bring myself to do any work. I'm 19 and I feel like time is running out for me. I don't feel like I can be successful anymore because I've left it too late. I'm never going to be free of this constant torment and I can't take it I just want to vanish from existence. Nobody cares. Nobody wants to fucking help. I feel lost and like I don't know myself at all. I don't know what I want, what I like, what I hate, what the fuck I want to do with my life.. I can't do this anymore just knowing I'm gonna achieve nothing. I'm fucking lost and trapped and the only way out is the exit sign. Suicide isn't an option for me I'm too scared. Please help someone please. I feel like I'm going crazy. ",0.4137630529713334,2.2820360873362446,2.3087640022783407,96.243540915132,83.32314410480349,4.331953673818113,21.74691475223087,4.813696971540001,-0.1966014429466489,820,27,188,2,23,272,111,229,0.256,0.623,0.121,-0.9895,1,1,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,6,7,21,8,1,8,0,23,8,1,1,2,38,63,11,1,4,5,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,14,0,0,10,0,1,6,12,11,0,1,2,4,24,11,23,58,3,26,0,2,0,6,3,12,7,3,12,110,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430704847003216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28134748378282765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152911856449412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19282945750995545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219054358167852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197245578506233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899643881348488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19125844873025524,0.2026705220001576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5245396959570812,0.09881201307615377,0.09071480863362726,0.1612294176673306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336278718882313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676907501956472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078805290161807,0.0,0.10667278489177856,0.0,0.10274451921012426,0.0,0.06679364657060106,0.27719639438005617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645647074442008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293391054928633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814742231457261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407929845590461,0.07192050277782044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076066723758865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946754814900227,0.0,0.0,0.17217579306919342,0.0,0.0,0.09706901838073023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012412633975295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343812724319756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110067528307565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055141273870013836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22310618039158456,0.07506083512217263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884402414302097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,paulmc74,2019/03/13,"Let down by the mental health system? 10 years ago, my Dad took his own life after a sudden breakdown. Looking back, he was massively let down by the mental health system. They didn't give him the help, the treatment or the support he deserved. 

​

Since that day, I've heard of countless others too let down by the mental health system. Have you ever been let down?

​

I'm on a mission to make a documentary about it, exposing how broken the system is and just how many people are losing their lives to the lack of funding and resources: [https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/a-documentary-to-expose-the-mental-health-crisis/x/20555907#/](https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/a-documentary-to-expose-the-mental-health-crisis/x/20555907#/)",13.616785714285722,17.50402595238095,8.296369047619049,58.95883928571431,51.38095238095239,6.773809523809526,27.410714285714285,7.1686216300943375,1.5426428571428563,635,15,76,4,8,167,74,105,0.096,0.8540000000000001,0.05,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,0,1,2,1,7,2,0,0,11,0,10,4,0,3,1,9,17,5,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,5,2,6,1,14,8,2,17,0,1,1,0,11,5,0,1,7,55,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879242127115547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21706283082031305,0.2434288877351017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702260395537394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459973359396037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060721424510927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608976769453707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5323667000798382,0.0,0.0,0.06714014587561969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097121117830306,0.07075124865622986,0.0,0.0,0.08844971402747956,0.0,0.08411544970202929,0.11206178071247996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686256620343042,0.1015540959626385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.504726266943174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694435136861786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285956896939975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366886159883112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128974841320907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434288877351017,0.0645045686494107
mentalhealth,Jojotherabbit123,2019/03/13,"But I’m not sad! Fuck, my fiancé is now worried. (Un)fortunately I am not stupid, I get it. If I did the same PHQ questions I screen with other clients, I would come up depressed af and it really hurts. 

I have not been to therapy or my psych in awhile. Once I got outta undergrad (May 2018) I stopped it all, and I was doing AMAZING. Learned to drive, got a better job, got into grad school and the engagement have been fucking amazing. I specifically took this year off to work on myself and my stability. I work out, I am mostly vegetarian and meditating daily. 

I have nothing weighing me down, no debt, children or shitty people. Yet I have been sensing a part of me working harder to be okay and I am not sure why. It’s baffling me to a point where I tell myself dumb shit. I haven’t eaten in the past month, lost almost 15lbs. I tried to tell myself that my body is just “naturally” intermittent fasting. I went from 8hrs to 5-4hrs of sleep, and well, that’s because I am SOO young and the youth keeps me awake. 

Guys my body is getting fucked, I thought I was pregnant (negative test, but I am gonna take another just in case). My clothes are getting a lil looser and I feel like puking every time I eat. I am bipolar and all of these same symptoms have happened before. It’s like the depression just happens despite knowing that I am living my best life. It’s also shitty because the bit of mania I do experience is pretty awesome too. I just get everything done and the energy is amazing. Although my shitty situation is much better than when I was younger (11ish I was getting help), I guess I hoped that feeling like this was behind me for the most part, and it’s tiring and annoying knowing that I am prolly gonna fight this forever. 

In freshman year I was not so I tuned with myself and ended up hospitalized. While even the deepest part of my heart was twisted by sadness, I told myself never again and am meant it. I am starting form square 1 again and I refuse to beat myself up. ",3.0336102379883267,4.964387320610687,4.471121838048198,83.5943971710822,75.28498727735371,6.862715162400838,26.82599910193085,7.724431198458867,1.6081696452626848,1559,60,302,22,34,518,216,393,0.134,0.72,0.147,0.8155,2,0,0,0,1,0,51.0,0,0,0,8,15,28,8,0,13,1,40,15,5,0,4,59,73,26,0,3,14,0,2,3,0,4,4,0,0,2,18,21,3,3,8,0,1,4,9,14,1,0,22,4,59,14,32,46,13,36,0,6,2,3,9,14,5,10,21,220,77,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945311537818633,0.0,0.0,0.07549419334980177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098989971178363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509461134310126,0.0,0.08033015775052015,0.0,0.09907031898479518,0.16698389198989655,0.1030638283722244,0.2097213148658689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131998529228263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261865070828868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096607234868283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659802656344166,0.0,0.0,0.08361320201675068,0.0,0.0,0.062352413695330615,0.0,0.07953875537280107,0.0,0.08484349598877618,0.0923444299852114,0.0,0.0,0.09546617418995668,0.13488330918982158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618226714492018,0.2466088404202384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22650855405555614,0.0,0.10399575195454956,0.09347399570801393,0.16696085036007074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186822936946617,0.06327646531728355,0.0,0.0,0.09376366401095564,0.0,0.0,0.10106056258745026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936805949736302,0.08390988885052714,0.0,0.0,0.10376304380544564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667976176346241,0.13836188386133344,0.0,0.08335974235670815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030522286967218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535172201953473,0.0,0.0693972035236235,0.0,0.07280955644132496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058240257010074,0.0,0.0,0.10053631158731596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066883511699977,0.09011852251762606,0.065447282366859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924152411830033,0.0,0.0,0.0960419782270665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575317296130117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060477097972938335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554106368720798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969035133214168,0.0,0.10611313585782647,0.09447136236705672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681906059838949,0.0,0.0,0.07892529018577325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897388513253474,0.09812105608473996,0.07097944688624777,0.0,0.16502509025873552,0.0,0.10795826995615496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494558436114565,0.05504725664438702,0.1085025744804527,0.0,0.09020628931968394,0.1048854126513713,0.06409356617716824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487980114522667,0.08751269875789848,0.08518419145152173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617993017535813,0.0958710173306487,0.0,0.06706131443048728,0.0,0.0,0.12158511268391252
mentalhealth,gtmarie,2019/03/13,"Advice needed I was at the emergency room on Monday due to hypervigilance from PTSD being terribly bad. 
He asked me about my life (work, friends etc) and recommended me to get friends since I don’t have any apart from online friendships and my relationship. 
The thing is, I don’t want any friends. I’ve had many many bad experiences with them in the past that I’ve been simply not interested in having friends anymore since I graduated 7 years ago. 

It’s bugging me so much... I don’t want to get friends... I don’t mind not having any within reach. 

I’d appreciate some advice on what to do now.

Have a good day lads! ",4.248999081726353,5.6636746528925626,5.256639118457301,81.32112029384756,71.06611570247934,8.352984389348027,27.49403122130395,8.841846274778883,1.9589441689623508,487,17,99,9,9,160,78,121,0.118,0.68,0.202,0.7866,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,3,10,0,0,4,0,14,1,0,0,0,10,20,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,12,7,14,16,3,15,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,1,7,57,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28088301110101,0.1273990947366776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932035535885541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253160596257786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435878478323682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24000036782440226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268750037763207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028577343639125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058572259360252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5551885177557829,0.0,0.1501755202084277,0.0,0.0,0.1205455042927775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151367539316528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914190131820349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511621443417294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565072527824723,0.10656654747514924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719698750901652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800097097156386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430147770487956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23777331276362115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548117160657366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953954108899374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462986044977923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925509580059665
mentalhealth,despairdistributer,2019/03/13,"How do you control paranoid thoughts? I’m extremely tired of my own head convincing me that everyone and everything is going to kill me. I don’t want to leave the house anymore because this is the only place where I feel somewhat safe. I do see a therapist, but it’s really difficult telling them that i’m so paranoid because i don’t want to be put into a hospital.
",4.774520547945205,5.772619876712335,6.106739726027397,77.28449315068495,69.41095890410958,10.223561643835618,36.51780821917808,10.355215969177356,4.0657090410958885,293,16,55,8,5,99,53,73,0.191,0.722,0.087,-0.8168,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,1,1,1,3,4,1,0,4,0,7,2,1,2,0,11,15,4,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,2,9,2,5,13,2,5,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,0,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22210190068223207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730402040852988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511831272608725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399736580369735,0.20127515258753448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323772407712665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727805355972138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22984111557457004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25841251101651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24777159696048154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237134640946076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17032688706012142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339839592726721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251353334788056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347048033198356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17846211029563067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957454123943258,0.0,0.0,0.2600275168071111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779422868250336,0.0,0.2574018430072999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641873994357811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stoic_Stranger,2019/03/13,"How do I deal with a friends delusions in a healthy manner? I'm a paranoid schizophrenic so there is no judgment here at all. I have a good friend (25yo and medicated) that's mentally unstable. This person believes that something to do with the antichrist will make him super rich. He spends a lot of time looking up mansions and talks about how we are going to zombie proof them and various zombie killing strategies. He believes that he'll be able to turn himself into a god. He's going to make me Raiden from Mortal Kombat.

Thing is, he's 100% serious. He truly believes these things. I asked him why every government in the world would work together to keep the truth from us (the earth is flat) and he replied ""it's a secret"".

I honestly don't know what to do about this. So far I've tried to entertain his delusions while not reinforcing them. This person will show me a mansion and I'll comment on what I like about it. I'll say things like ""wouldn't that be awesome"" as to keep things hypothetical. He'll start going off on what we'll do when the zombies take over and, again, I keep things hypothetical. 

I used to think that I could stop a moving car with my mind Stranger Things style so I know what it's like to believe impossible things. If someone then had told me how insane that was, I'd probably be hurt.

I don't know what the right thing to do is. Can anyone give me some advice?",3.4270652173913057,5.274297141304352,4.096521739130433,87.0658695652174,73.96376811594203,6.9739130434782615,26.130434782608692,7.7425588080867325,1.3736826086956522,1105,39,223,15,23,351,153,276,0.086,0.773,0.141,0.9393,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,3,0,2,2,13,14,1,0,15,0,25,2,0,6,3,37,48,17,2,4,2,0,0,3,2,7,2,1,0,2,26,11,0,4,5,2,2,5,5,3,0,0,3,2,24,11,30,34,4,24,0,1,1,0,29,12,0,3,10,144,50,2,0.10020795479400292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792205366141414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006773194296823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368091065283517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516001989523234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000789790751779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331000127608768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442952384759858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484083459453424,0.0,0.0,0.0961286012861862,0.1708514700079689,0.08404967814699664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072746881571976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672083034949345,0.11086525493587207,0.0,0.1652150138710946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686963503911973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414944400863948,0.0,0.0,0.0851932196954866,0.0,0.0,0.13377917590503666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094897204342693,0.10098604926985154,0.0,0.10118146826512196,0.0,0.0,0.10650519729623813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749954418502458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804112387787408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557704586711566,0.0,0.07968938770498933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490587490985424,0.07714497931814503,0.0,0.0,0.07092770617070804,0.0,0.0,0.08377833722297673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534391097124317,0.0805433582535559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5325896997793885,0.06420921121212471,0.0,0.0,0.05843206429140885,0.0,0.0,0.09575299512323034,0.0,0.06803462348221924,0.10899747937727976,0.0,0.0,0.12053783133714073,0.0865474988753696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042209285127988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295258456101557,0.0,0.0,0.07118485597897957,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UntroubledKes,2019/03/13,"I’ve been paralysed by anxiety for over a year now I’m a 23 year old university student. Ever since December of 2017 I’ve been feeling like I’m just coasting through life. 

During that month, I decided to quit my part time job at the family business because of conflict between other family members that I didn’t want to deal with or pick a side on. Unfortunately I didn’t manage to get a summer job during that holiday season and just spent a lot of time gaming and lazing about. 2018 was supposed to be my final year in university but I failed a whopping 4 modules. Not because the work was too hard or the workload too intense, but because weeks go by and I feel like I have no desire to do anything.

I’m staying at home with my parents so I always put the bare amount of effort to at least appear normal. I come from a religious family, and I think the religion is beautiful in its own way and I can see how my father relies on his belief to get him through tough times. But personally, my faith wavered long ago and I just pretend to pray and go along to religious gatherings. I feel like I would live completely differently if I lived on my own but I’m not financially independent enough to do so. My parents would lose their shit if I told them I don’t believe anymore.

January of last year was also when I decided to get serious about writing a novel. Which turned out to be a great excuse to blow off friends and opportunities to stay at home and not write anything at all.

My two best friends from high school have kind of drifted apart. And I haven’t been able to replace them. I don’t really feel like I have anyone to talk to about this. When I told my best friend about my issues, he was kind but I could sense his uncomfort. When I sent him a text a few weeks ago during a bad phase his response was a word long. I understand that people probably don’t want to deal with me being a downer and so I just hide my feelings.

The problem is its affecting my ability to live. Like I said, weeks go by and I do no studying at all, despite sitting myself in front of my books. I’ve barely made any effort to find a job despite desperately needing one. Most of my university acquaintances have moved on. I just feel lousy all the time.

​

My university offers free counseling and therapy services. Last year I made an appointment but backed out before the date came around. A few weeks ago I walked into the office but I missed the hours when the people are in and I haven’t been able to drum up the willpower and courage to go back. 

Just typing this reddit post is more than I’ve done all week. I don’t even know what I want from this. I just needed to vent and perhaps reach out to someone. 

​

I have goals and ambitions and this fire inside of me that wants me to go and do stuff. But then I feel a tightness in my chest and I feel like I cant do a thing. 

​",3.902444667201287,5.210792377586209,4.969775461106657,83.45602646351244,71.77586206896551,8.016038492381716,27.798716920609465,8.499448955792047,1.9162558139534882,2289,83,459,38,43,752,274,580,0.085,0.755,0.16,0.9928,7,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,3,10,28,26,1,0,31,0,40,3,2,6,5,99,82,42,0,14,22,3,11,6,3,2,1,1,2,1,16,31,0,2,15,6,2,14,14,8,0,2,20,13,67,19,76,56,17,82,3,3,1,0,29,26,1,7,43,309,83,12,0.12214160991769925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240675138350905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048838300661317925,0.05081580200594571,0.19851057497340227,0.2226231376731344,0.04153024157915395,0.0,0.04671899863537602,0.0,0.060565828304357715,0.04270212679417002,0.0,0.10051213782263356,0.054365964175914334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391935867507407,0.05099157121141213,0.11168458759259006,0.0,0.051966756942655686,0.06880588403957118,0.12818008407012949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698487314248463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05260709089342008,0.0640315770786663,0.0,0.0,0.04876006838301414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592263660505407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380599292375251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062496636803499934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631024667776881,0.0,0.040336690702841065,0.055242039454847375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727163592582496,0.0,0.24703387167654775,0.21814497632562996,0.0,0.06690008171505656,0.055817609341471175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154945725557636,0.0,0.09572092495943624,0.0,0.173539729176834,0.0,0.0,0.06733077806601276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547074457145521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452465845888626,0.12251799356559945,0.0,0.060142441107614165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374205368378752,0.18181005162559227,0.0,0.0,0.12719169107195247,0.03356291726585594,0.09956171410644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043136115620706586,0.17901666298429028,0.0,0.16177991894303492,0.10809148120484953,0.0,0.06832260944203368,0.0,0.05192021446336173,0.0,0.11557334456470435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874613386868847,0.06490860076481292,0.0,0.09056645610325433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983642230002473,0.0,0.0,0.06408353658915697,0.0,0.04138315796497159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562380332860208,0.06613373046393611,0.0,0.08467761325400595,0.05332467127930873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058488949620854463,0.0,0.06584465691814953,0.058436512553253536,0.0,0.06139302685315776,0.0,0.06495631842770777,0.0,0.0,0.03912352146397361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058092320589482424,0.0,0.0,0.061806915033025385,0.048665524688430536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268830367921015,0.05051840095024552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174509485938048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018670471394986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991146061580973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04908639970494676,0.0,0.0,0.0698397878438722,0.0,0.0405727291625478,0.039131705886606166,0.0,0.0,0.14244350995963656,0.0,0.0,0.11671154254006275,0.0,0.0,0.06642749887212006,0.05965730250976496,0.06357686173977692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408457221890245,0.04847516236434905,0.2449365800191048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044460273359819134,0.0,0.0,0.08676589527154452,0.0,0.2226231376731344,0.19663798054253706
mentalhealth,Nevermore2028,2019/03/13,"Not even sure if its depression I close to being 40. I've been medicated for depression for the last 9 years. Successfully for 5. I have so many things going on in my life that I dont have a spare moment to see a therapist. But the hits just keep coming and I'm running out of steam. I'm at the point now where I cant even tell if this is depression or if this is what anyone would feel like when one big stressor after another hits. I'm not experiencing suicidal thoughts but I noticed the other night that thoughts of self harm (cutting) popped up and as sickening as it is to acknowledge (thanks for anonymity reddit) I felt giddy at the idea of being able to cut. 
I'm going to sign up to a gym to work out and feel better. It's all i can think to do for myself as I can take my lunch break or go before work. 

I'm on the max dose of lamictal and lexapro.  ",2.521136543014997,3.7408421436464083,4.316231254932912,87.14454419889503,75.07734806629834,7.823362273086031,23.978295185477506,8.418075326091056,1.2927344909234413,672,20,150,12,14,228,110,181,0.134,0.8109999999999999,0.055,-0.9237,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,7,12,2,1,9,0,14,4,0,0,2,31,35,16,1,4,10,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,8,1,1,8,1,0,5,4,7,0,1,4,5,11,5,30,26,1,26,0,3,1,0,2,13,0,5,8,96,21,3,0.15289402153353224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032271265322698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069070548193154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010155114824448,0.0,0.0,0.13522233724553953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170466138926373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3950621901270808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791906545420452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019701184900767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461562247736832,0.10922751953322547,0.14680223765656875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26067958764484594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17259873998709438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358992313949449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462903404304627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799356902253422,0.07469629594594845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501054016940755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402464142816094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348068188415464,0.0,0.0,0.17407085689067806,0.0,0.0,0.10360494591949976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453427006433536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183673990652608,0.0,0.15950180940655262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724124385382258,0.0,0.14410080586893334,0.0,0.11495727629746215,0.0,0.13363611389709687,0.14076427306844733,0.0,0.17752174330611115,0.1015759941339016,0.09796831540868092,0.0,0.2427615493393831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22261733727083868,0.0,0.0,0.10861152615363874,0.0,0.0,0.0984587370401914
mentalhealth,profjen1980,2019/03/13,"Single mom, two professional jobs, and too many psych meds. Specific advice and (relevant) personal experiences would be helpful! I understand this isn’t a substitution for medical advice, but I’d really appreciate your feedback. Specific recommendations or hearing about your specific experiences will be more helpful than just, “get off your meds.” I’ll try to make this concise.

-Grew up in a wonderful and supportive family

-Received my bachelor’s, master’s and doctoral degrees (psychology)

-Never needed psychotropic meds before. Those around me would confirm that I do have ADHD tendencies. (And, I had a formal evaluation which confirmed this). 

-After my Ph.D., I shockingly found myself in a bad marriage. Very surprising and uncharacteristic. Never had relationship difficulties before.

-Tried absolutely everything to save my marriage, which basically killed my mental health. Got divorced and life is much better now.

-HOWEVER: Well meaning physicians tried to help, and now I’m on a ton of psych meds—some of which will be hard to get off.

Med list: Vyvanse, Adderall, Klonopin, Ambien, Clonidine, and Gabapentin. I feel embarrassed writing this list! Btw, these are prescribed by one nurse practitioner—no doctor shopping here.

Dilemma: I have two young children and two jobs. The two jobs are necessary for me right now to pay off some debt. And, I’m fortunate to have two good jobs, so paying it off is a manageable goal. BUT: I have abused my medication at times—basically getting over amped and using the others to come down. I’ve run out of meds on a couple occasions.

I’m planning to soon consult with a different provider—to get a second opinion about how to best taper. Prescribing NP is pretty liberal with meds (obviously, lol).

Problem: I’m scared to death that I won’t be able to stay functional with so much on my plate. Particularly nervous about going off stimulants. I can function without them, but I function at about 50 percent of my normal capacity.

Advice needed: What kind of taper schedule would you advise in my situation? Are there (safe and legitimate) nootropics that could help? Should I wait to jump off until my debt is paid off (probably) two years. Ultimately, I’d like to be off meds because I don’t think I actually need them, and I hate feeling dependent. I really liked myself before getting depressed in my marriage and getting slammed with meds. I like myself now, but I’m addicted and scared of failing! Ultimately, I think I’d be better without them, but I’m scared to death. Advice (and relevant personal experiences) appreciated. 
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mentalhealth,JustHereToHelpx,2019/03/13,"Here to help. I’ve made this account to help anyone struggling or just wanting to vent. You can PM me anytime and I will get back to you as soon as I can. 

Stay safe everyone.",-0.5448648648648664,1.6544253243243254,1.3284324324324324,98.71859459459463,93.05405405405406,4.0410810810810815,20.913513513513514,5.6839178017228535,-0.10177405405405436,135,5,31,1,5,44,28,37,0.068,0.73,0.202,0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,6,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25471804405676285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28011433079308073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480919812021073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19032499949003748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4883479930695554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34469730763666495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882816299381603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808320224245133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21486599830997694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ilumyo,2019/03/13,"Did this person prey on me or am I just stupid? Is it my fault? I am so sorry for any spelling mistake, English isn't my first language. And this is going to be a long one, so be prepared. Also I just want to send out a trigger warning. I don't want anyone to get hurt by reading this.

Before I got together with my current boyfriend, I was single for over a year. I was 17 yo at this point and was partying quite a lot. I lived with my dad in the middle of nowhere, so after I hang out with my friends I either had to find a place to spend the night or get home with the last bus, which really sucked for me. (I get sick whenever I take the bus, especially on long rides)

That's why I went home with this guy, let's call him K, who all my friends laughed about. But I was very trusting, kind of naive tbh, and inexperienced when it came to relationships etc. I just wanted a place to stay the night, also I got hurt before. Maybe I wanted some support.

Long story short - K suggested to sleep with him, without us being in a relationship, since he didn't want one. I didn't want one as well, so I tried it and it felt wrong. I realized I didn't want to have sex without any feelings towards the other person. I continued to stay at K's however and I see now how this was wrong and maybe unfair. 

Side note: It's hard to wake me up, I always need some time to fully be aware of what's going on etc. 

So, one night I woke up, because I felt K touching me everywhere. I finally got to turn around and found the strength to push him off of me. K finally stopped. He seemed very upset. I asked him, as I got up, wtf was wrong with him. K said he was mad at me bc we didn't have sex. I felt gross, used, angry. I was so tired. I packed my things and left the apartment in the middle of the night.

I often think about this. Sometimes, I think it's my fault. I should have seen the red flags. K was a thirsty and frustrated creep, he even had got himself a prostitute before. Also, he basically said that he would like to bone his sister etc. I know, obvious red flags, right? I believed in him, nevertheless. And I shouldn't have taken advantage of him. I think he would've gone further in that night if I didn't stop him, though.

I thought I had left this all behind, but I think it's affecting me and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know if it's even worth seeking help, maybe I'm just overly dramatizing it. I'm in tears writing this, but maybe I just was kinda dumb.

Sorry for the long text and thanks to everyone who read it.",1.2896349634193314,3.0749941660377367,2.966480554485948,93.05944743935312,79.98113207547169,6.137851366961877,21.382364266461305,7.127189543769624,0.4160558336542164,1948,56,448,24,49,644,233,530,0.113,0.815,0.07200000000000001,-0.9456,2,0,0,0,0,0,75.0,2,0,0,4,27,26,5,1,21,0,40,7,3,4,3,82,90,33,0,14,15,2,6,1,2,3,2,2,2,3,30,24,0,2,16,2,2,9,12,15,1,5,37,12,73,11,66,45,10,67,0,2,4,2,38,34,2,10,23,286,103,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181632830204544,0.0526544970907553,0.0,0.0,0.08606590462360764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04424724047038769,0.0,0.0,0.05633311665929915,0.05915878345419875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03857524339763555,0.0,0.16154129291905453,0.07129552379325912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461652924654945,0.0723761050779478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21172366310420704,0.08359242910364506,0.0,0.0,0.06046728905719384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031996553640905014,0.0,0.18227779042719294,0.1386415256271888,0.057837287470923426,0.05382641392153547,0.0,0.0693838702605119,0.09778081083766912,0.0,0.0991844458975836,0.0,0.07192760365370532,0.0,0.25305623209680944,0.0,0.0,0.06265770558166638,0.0,0.0,0.056686954205357076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042415626978049056,0.0,0.12695112703348102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354863013731024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589696770635205,0.10433202624601867,0.05158210417651945,0.0,0.0,0.1375090320784638,0.0647086622881774,0.0,0.030915686289867537,0.0,0.055877895818915786,0.22400522506641712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053798871089205655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542953210564284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04692173508204059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969226046360204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715221867731544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105082922203341,0.1322294379367812,0.0,0.05982058540998311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730666730946662,0.12659537373435115,0.0,0.04053914856768112,0.0,0.0,0.13587928353077405,0.0,0.054041254400952116,0.12038861160220313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050426415149902086,0.057608247219170634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052346335015101726,0.0,0.06332626271358233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258609414338084,0.14167481716212418,0.0,0.13489731921998654,0.0,0.10581076711121667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181003213080978,0.0,0.0,0.047579107447599404,0.0,0.0,0.05826023970659031,0.0,0.0,0.0420407937161636,0.16219051652645464,0.062172831116016236,0.050237697917775034,0.03689940473579992,0.07273169735768734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042963347921412896,0.06883108025529043,0.0,0.0,0.07611872485461188,0.05465408810386651,0.0,0.10442618226294582,0.2612716060982697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05689682515125472,0.058661715185021814,0.05710086476729216,0.0,0.0,0.1220004076705118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990539162636395,0.2075620826083738,0.0,0.04075060735319127
mentalhealth,ISimscraft,2019/03/13,"I wanna die, but I wanna live at the same time I just wanna get in a freak accident and get hospitalized or something.",8.82125,5.750815291666669,9.995,66.15000000000003,62.75,12.933333333333335,36.5,11.20814326018867,3.9190499999999986,93,3,18,2,1,33,19,24,0.381,0.619,0.0,-0.8873,0,0,1,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,3,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5267913537649471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5303826746502268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4482053748961658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907624414820843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959759183962675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,silveronyxx,2019/03/13,"i’m so tired (tw self harm and suicide mention) i struggle with mental health (anxiety, depression, a bit of dissociation i suppose) and i despise it.

 i hate not ever having energy to do things and i hate it when people call me lazy because of that. i hate being nervous all the time, having my heart skip beats, hate feeling like every action i do will lead to something fucked up. i hate how i can’t do work sometimes purely because i just can’t, and my anxiety yelling about how i’m wasting time and being a useless fuck. i hate how i can’t talk to anyone about this because my friends just don’t listen or realize how fucked up my mind is, or how i don’t want to burden my more loyal friends because they struggle with so much more things than i do. 

i have a friend who is dealing with so much but she’s the only person i rant to because she’s helpful and makes me feel heard, but i don’t want to burden her. i talk to my school’s counselor but i’m really bad about talking my mental health out loud and i’m more comfortable with typing it out.

i keep telling myself that one day, i’ll hopefully be better, living as who i want to be. this seems more and more like a fantasy with each passing day. i’m not suicidal, i don’t self harm, but i’m just so tired. i kind of want to knock myself out and sleep for a thousand years or something. despite that i can’t take breaks at all without feeling useless.

honestly unsure why i’m talking about this. it’s just a long vent. if you’ve read all the way to the end thanks and i hope you have a wonderful day.",2.3999025341130604,4.0074965077399405,3.834688682490544,88.87711271643161,76.18266253869969,6.39509230592822,25.58525398463479,7.0931098945946705,1.0689844971906894,1224,44,257,13,27,404,149,323,0.222,0.621,0.157,-0.9519,0,0,2,0,1,1,30.0,0,1,1,4,19,34,10,3,11,0,23,9,2,7,5,60,56,29,2,7,15,0,3,2,3,1,4,4,0,3,14,19,0,1,6,2,0,3,11,21,0,2,1,7,40,13,32,50,12,21,0,3,0,3,24,6,3,8,12,168,54,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124324094888225,0.0,0.0,0.056817391409877765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784692654978028,0.24767021395623295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186598186268799,0.08871254744673956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297336951907874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721380980895003,0.08377329501454657,0.06998728358208217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197035340367615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350239469605273,0.06846325933459924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325926041867714,0.0580506379166295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18833888427880024,0.2253647718158029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4813519371685777,0.0,0.17274663011467892,0.0,0.0962909661174206,0.05446543681113925,0.0,0.0,0.16141479748473514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222572762403948,0.0,0.08461756636329898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939698069134771,0.0,0.07175218712291129,0.0719106571119059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05424025859773934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377763998334127,0.0,0.08204728377000788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946776686823785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506243506807263,0.061800271065576375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056333975109688926,0.07095123703049834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127985862709514,0.0,0.052055871668078776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223730167341227,0.0,0.07397411219077411,0.16953935829496747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131655255496274,0.0,0.0,0.12511255505725993,0.08036611029200234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698967355032532,0.0,0.1777658402053489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610958048918796,0.2612479887365644,0.07102295917345318,0.07481132852246412,0.0,0.0,0.107968235142338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476423385402012,0.18678793401555085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171198604102915,0.06449871424410228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332258800403582,0.0,0.0,0.07832968611250647,0.08812069280349094,0.059156696476763936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232740355245535
mentalhealth,thekannagasm,2019/03/13,"How do I get my parents to understand that mental illness is serious? So, I have multiple mental illnesses (PTSD, Depression & Borderline, which have all been confirmed ) it gets to the point where I can't function as a regular person at times. I can't focus. I can't be around people and I just lay in bed. My parents don't believe that it really effects me that much. Specifically my mom, she thinks I do it for attention despite the therapy and medical professionals telling me to see help for this. She tourments me with mental facilities and getting taken away from our family. It pushes me to the point of tears and thoughts that make me feel worthless and suicidal (you know, as you do). Do you think I can convince her to take my mental illnesses more seriously? 
",4.652916666666666,6.8046206805555585,5.888611111111112,74.2175,71.3611111111111,9.8,32.83333333333333,10.125756701596842,3.867858333333333,614,30,105,18,12,205,93,144,0.171,0.7979999999999999,0.031,-0.9641,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,3,0,1,6,5,0,0,4,0,14,4,0,3,1,19,27,9,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,10,7,0,0,8,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,2,24,1,16,23,3,9,0,2,1,0,13,7,0,0,1,80,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555402650461811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779313865590136,0.0,0.0,0.134873332194554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173574795729098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364250486957605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532955763409096,0.0,0.07258501319344596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250024922952016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622095174256687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889330401597609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582314235603501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461514885813415,0.5786730563822663,0.0,0.0,0.16812824070093707,0.0,0.0,0.10552841309692693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187985675694357,0.0,0.0,0.09952199078641637,0.12534546593392512,0.0,0.0,0.2714091042400447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780647571211962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196411171840728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439363282783538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702433812462754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793444133312302,0.0,0.12547217331497595,0.0,0.16416605181049554,0.0,0.0,0.1839667001960206,0.0,0.11396552288394875,0.08370725827653805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944435973450193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,minenerddiaries,2019/03/13,"Sometimes It’s Better To Be Silent | Speak Less or More One day I was sitting alone and suddenly I asked a question to myself  that since I never want anyone’s bad but why people that around me  always got me wrong? Why they have misconceptions about me? 

 

I suddenly remembered my friend words; I always called her with the name Billi or cat. I gave her this special name because..

That’s a long story, Let’s skip this part and coming back to story!  
HER  WORDS WAS:

'that I talked too much or too fast and never listened to anyone' 

Then I realize that Why God gifted us with two Eyes, two Ears but gave only one tongue  
Because  God itself wants that we see more, listen more but speak less. More we  speak more miscommunication occur. We have to speak only meaningful  things and tried to stop meaningless blabber or talk. The one who talks  unnecessarily gave an invitation to his end!",4.707388300322432,6.5068679101796425,5.10622754491018,81.33387839705208,70.49700598802394,7.533671119299862,23.6245969599263,8.139509932561175,1.2840146476278216,699,18,130,10,13,222,100,167,0.077,0.8,0.123,0.846,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,4,0,1,1,5,5,0,0,5,0,6,2,2,0,2,31,17,12,0,2,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,0,0,12,11,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,5,6,9,22,3,11,9,9,14,0,0,2,0,28,1,0,5,11,87,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389965216799168,0.0,0.0,0.2233396113285372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767934431096764,0.0,0.0,0.11947143240137385,0.1254641144948814,0.0,0.0,0.1031958182036674,0.1120560656905081,0.1636209695912996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186939422909542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703891713607474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560623634245452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655150594272472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188663224538877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368690944969854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733647388816947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723431315013446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876772798642606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865655389904264,0.0,0.207015256082293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728235524363896,0.2041388044050718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533158067438876,0.0,0.09304126121125222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034098030621376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202877682524696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694448321155776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101625466667728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273276465314549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220188638523047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236081198818031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916023366748389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911167892231732,0.0,0.2621987301092073,0.0,0.1614328059629087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831587364321742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632990242505646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673274970985314,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PabloJamie,2019/03/13,"I don’t enjoy life anymore, why don’t I just end it? I don’t particularly hate it at the moment but I’m not actually getting anything so I’m pretty much here just to waste resources. Surely life was meant to be enjoyable?",1.2932608695652164,3.6078313695652175,4.158869565217394,81.63178260869569,83.13043478260869,6.288695652173913,24.417391304347824,7.554174236665415,1.4108486956521746,177,7,35,3,5,63,33,46,0.117,0.603,0.28,0.8651,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,6,10,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,3,3,3,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.3098544282853466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314895242495178,0.0,0.0,0.26129250519215363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28122912047369264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589147555556336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134859830615402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4485485617540912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23341426999019405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230327318398886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29925952908653475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28651307045237684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,koolredditkid,2019/03/13,"I'm going to the psychiatrist to get tested for ADD, how should I prepare​ myself? This is my first visit to a psychiatrist and I'm a little nervous about it. I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow, but is there anything I should do in particular to prepare for this? 

I read online that I should make some notes of the symptoms that I've experienced in real life. But that's all I've done so far. Is there anything else I should do? 

Any help is appreciated, thanks!",3.9009216589861744,5.301927817204302,5.451643625192013,79.64032258064519,71.90322580645163,7.894930875576037,26.1889400921659,8.418075326091056,1.701532718894009,369,12,73,6,7,125,60,93,0.032,0.828,0.14,0.9152,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,4,0,12,2,0,2,2,15,20,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,1,7,2,10,14,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,51,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841159002800838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4317945103177917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684820487322222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21916540395773298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22316052181743345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707057613599205,0.0,0.14910338990664573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320012120410173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758522026645356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18531033490027327,0.0,0.2629503921490404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512517122704346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26242775251025785,0.2986194244460917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24726813676654494,0.2726891231005427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24154285130501166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nonreanon,2019/03/13,"Mental health deteriorating and don't know why or what to do I've had mental health problems for 15 years. Dg for BPD (please, don't hate me for this, I'm not a manipulative monster and I'm working on it very hard) and depression (different levels since I was 20, now 35). I had a few really bad years (2 y unemployed, basically prisoner in my own home, cheating ex took advantage of me, no close friends, overweight and no will to exersice). 1,5 y ago it got better, I got a great job. Switched to another, bad one, for 7 months, got burned out last Nov. Got back to the good job in Jan. Found a new, very good and stable relationship 7 months ago. I have a nice home, though would love to live with my bf, but due to 5 kids all-together, it's hard to find a place.

So, basically I have everything ok. I have love and support and financial stability. Been trying to reconnect with friends, but it's hard. Still trying, though. But lately I've been losing all my energy. I don't do healthy stuff, I have no hobbies (used to run a big theater group, for example), I don't do crafts anymore, and so on. At work I feel like crying most days, am lonely and can't connect with any co-workers (at coffee I just sit silent most of the time or just lurk and the fade away, ashamed of myself). I'm tired and emotional, trying my hardest not to show it, but crying to bf often. I can find reasons and see reasons and bad behaviour and reactions, and I try not to react badly at anything, but those skills don't help at being overwhelmed by complete sadness all the time.

I don't know if I'm depressed again, if this is the burn out's after kick, low iron levels, thyroid (tried meds once, didn't help back then years ago), something else. I'm just lonely, feel like crying all the time, exhausted. I'm not in therapy anymore (was for years) and can't afford it right now, very infrequently see my psychiatrist (once in 2 months, though she's cancelled last two due to illness). I don't know if this post is a question or rant or plea for help. I just feel horrible, I don't know why and I'm constantly angry at myself because of it. Sorry for bad grammar and format, I'm nonnative, at work and on mobile.",3.711470671981779,4.8654218405466985,4.973979925968108,83.83620906890661,72.05239179954441,8.22098519362187,27.38617596810934,8.660442795831766,1.8843558656036448,1704,60,353,30,32,566,215,439,0.226,0.667,0.107,-0.9958,6,4,1,0,0,0,82.0,0,0,0,7,16,32,2,2,14,1,31,9,0,5,3,69,59,37,0,5,20,1,6,2,4,2,7,0,2,1,13,25,1,0,13,1,0,2,18,18,0,2,13,8,27,14,46,43,7,57,0,8,2,2,15,23,0,11,32,195,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182080437587668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656114659911703,0.07179552937753883,0.0,0.0,0.13580534585629056,0.0,0.0,0.056344006273483786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432871176995547,0.10529659499886453,0.28584303055025023,0.041737958156342035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060555108665173815,0.0,0.0,0.08623408396858806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178825679716115,0.07399047217922504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22562935651183536,0.04415672566211128,0.0,0.1179441914699196,0.0,0.0,0.07153534574950061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057196914738155274,0.07701820867366924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061535361979039735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385968041044974,0.0978282796954102,0.0,0.0,0.12515852509102732,0.0,0.0,0.07507252887057131,0.1057976834823026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114856798191131,0.2190430855890461,0.07548711755478545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840038465793862,0.06759878620812068,0.0,0.14555831127617336,0.0,0.0,0.13767962361787736,0.0,0.13735962138734484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588948109532747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051469499700318,0.11162245606816353,0.07723581308193249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690081550179823,0.0,0.060459223899473814,0.0,0.0,0.07659909774908548,0.0,0.0,0.12359156943083925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605342563146285,0.0,0.1380009363131799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639534805648312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612761457907247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583412089434467,0.04639624551831737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153534574950061,0.07515820534006601,0.0,0.0,0.06557420458377343,0.0,0.0,0.06551541537622352,0.0,0.0,0.07670075004295608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043862880375637986,0.1407947041877726,0.0,0.07350989068119275,0.0,0.058471999558178486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912157228954524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566381167832656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052710643968835805,0.0,0.07664524018120122,0.0,0.0,0.05467928939236975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838041973550748,0.0,0.07769760738476708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830006464209954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20181080882621186,0.0,0.11977416149896385,0.07869483828431155,0.0,0.0,0.07607138011706753,0.23242917735033775,0.0,0.06688408981611384,0.0,0.0,0.05913507839310311,0.0,0.16948184542049574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356492374040427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938447040312424,0.0,0.0,0.0486382864140363,0.0,0.0,0.1763667051451215
mentalhealth,throwaway_k23,2019/03/13,"My mom has had schrizophrenia Hi,

I'm 17, my mother has schrizophrenia. She hasn't been diagnosed by a psychologist or anything, because she absolutely refuses to see one and my father and I are terrified of bringing the matter up to her. Sorry for not being very coherent with my words, I'm completely a wreck right now. I love my mother. She's a very religious person, she's an English teacher. We have been changing schools because of her condition, in the past 10 years we have moved 4 times. My mother believes that there is a very rich man paying people to trouble her, despite moving 4 times, she believes that coworkers are bought buy the rich man and trouble her. I am really unclear about this part because she rarely tells me about it, or even my father, she never goes into specifics about this. She has occasionally told my father about incedents at the school when she's particularly upset, my father has tried to convince her calmly that there is no rich person trying following her and forcing people against her, but she doesn't listen. This has been her belief for almost 20 years now. She has stopped all contact with her old friends and relatives believing they too, were ""bought"" by this rich person. She often comes home crying and cursing saying ""Gods will punish these devils"". She often tells me that when I'm older she will tell me what she's been through. My father has talked to psychaitrists and is giving medicine to my mother by mixing it in her morning tea, but recently things have been getting worse and the psychiatrist suggested we switch to tabs so we have started giving her tabs along with her Thyroid medicine. She is probably the smartest person in the family and for her the idea of going to a psychiatrist is extremely insulting, the Thyroid doctor once suggested for her to get counselling for her anxiety problem because it worsens her condition and she stormed out and never went to that doctor again. Several times she comes home and is irrationally angry at me and my brother, she starts saying irrational things that make no sense, she would ask me a question and then scream at me for talking back at her. 

I'm really confused as to how I should be dealing with her, my father takes her for long walks and when she is screaming at me I try not to say anything or I sometimes when I lose my control and I feel really guilty about it and lock myself for a while in my room.

She has recently been talking of suicide which is really scaring me. She says she doesn't want to live for more than 15 years because she only wants to live until me and my 7 year old brother can take care of ourselves. She says that if anyone else was going through what she did he would've killed himself. This is really scaring me I don't know how to talk to her about this. I just hug her and ask her to never say things like this ever again.

​

She even belives a few of her co workers are involved in the conspiracy against her. She has at several occasions almost gone to the school principal to file severe complaints about her coworkers which would really put her job in a jeopardy. 

​

The only reason I'm alive right now is because if I killed myself it would really break her. She has really high hopes for me for the future and that's the only reason I wake up every morning.

I have never talked about this to any friend, I avoid inviting anyone over to my house, I barely go out of my house to socialize and I only talk to a few of them.

How do I deal with all of this? How do I deal with my mother? How do I convince her to get some help? How do I talk to her when she's venting and irrationally screaming at me?  
",6.765057235308441,6.994639429386593,6.749660763369403,77.12348630875755,64.83452211126962,9.520907414494973,32.64677638217181,9.245585301136952,2.830145861313107,2924,109,529,47,41,931,287,701,0.16899999999999998,0.7490000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.997,2,1,0,0,0,1,63.0,4,0,2,3,35,31,4,5,25,0,56,9,1,10,7,90,94,45,3,10,10,14,1,1,2,6,5,10,3,6,30,38,1,4,7,0,8,13,12,17,0,1,15,12,120,14,89,71,7,74,2,1,1,2,126,23,0,14,38,394,150,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813244723457163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700285814202822,0.13121489069180814,0.036717114174453724,0.0,0.04130452272332278,0.0,0.0,0.07550636863044614,0.055322243263205916,0.08886333187631912,0.0,0.10095239530724866,0.0,0.0,0.041517309851083435,0.0,0.19748191189055184,0.0,0.0,0.1824949774496321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504949594203843,0.0,0.05711747005804061,0.09302043471324876,0.0566106682015506,0.0,0.0605577780169795,0.0,0.0,0.0593088118117112,0.0,0.16699333965697846,0.0,0.05480179230052479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105283150181941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04510425112484597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132377860759907,0.04883978981984601,0.04549145929340727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050899826580544136,0.0,0.02730049996825089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342976725332807,0.0,0.08462739432712775,0.10359007496563298,0.09205645535933432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0361903921267071,0.05704660415199112,0.1083188295353216,0.053627264904546265,0.0,0.12460142247289993,0.0,0.060951562591646025,0.0,0.0,0.053579754332972435,0.0,0.11947058332514553,0.0,0.02967315908647988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026378268798799,0.0,0.095353675283329,0.047782135448453736,0.0,0.06040439342974961,0.0,0.0,0.04873082062242541,0.0,0.03604076902041325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632359880914434,0.0,0.11477209929748845,0.0,0.0,0.16657102352165856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331321177904853,0.05750081837020616,0.03658707674510644,0.16425653951186722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058469193529703485,0.05154245976665725,0.0748639419287219,0.18857853643311065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058213622023690674,0.05166404099252097,0.0,0.054277911487376866,0.06048455423232341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767145578503855,0.1110276616108702,0.10662321331977906,0.0,0.0,0.09221951092703383,0.0,0.2576245634246473,0.10811289107788856,0.1639314968861723,0.04302545707419413,0.0,0.0,0.1829902775210191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503909799197812,0.0,0.0,0.05340049057627157,0.06044078035472952,0.07643309380410039,0.0,0.0,0.045140593524225996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059059615055261735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119208311872762,0.3037828848794486,0.14157687294783758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761171659869774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445131583143428,0.0,0.0,0.051592657181545314,0.0,0.10997317633593516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364972135199674,0.06369297995601184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005208284366132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05502351373221367,0.15342040700929124,0.0,0.13121489069180814,0.13907897297160732
mentalhealth,UpsetPsychology,2019/03/13,"How come some psychiatrists don't diagnosed us? I don't know where to ask, so I am going to ask here. So I had visited this psychiatrist 4-5 times in the past, but he never diagnosed me? All we did was, I talk a bit, he talks most of the time, sometimes he talks before I finished my sentence, and then he prescribed me xanax and elavil. I stopped seeing him because I felt nothing changed. I visited another psychiatrist months later, I visited her once. She was a bit different than my previous psychiatrist. She asks some questions, I talk most of the time. When I told her my symptoms, she tell me it's a sign of depression and then she prescribed me xanax and lexapro. I know I am depressed, but most of the time I feel more anxious than depressed. But she did not tell me that I have anxiety? Anyone can explain? I need to understand.",3.0167075664621663,5.212280404907979,4.357202453987732,83.17833946830271,76.23926380368098,8.02764826175869,29.88507157464213,8.841846274778883,2.6214158691206544,658,31,128,15,15,217,92,163,0.142,0.8490000000000001,0.009000000000000001,-0.9712,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,7,0,11,5,0,1,2,28,25,13,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,7,0,0,5,4,3,0,0,7,3,34,0,10,18,9,20,0,3,1,0,29,2,0,6,13,89,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975303705491714,0.09466138723789368,0.13979190315483953,0.0,0.08652245721045365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470428837340026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543125426066853,0.0,0.1052943223556452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701858497909303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090137822025955,0.10659175812793034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197333562177851,0.25118865152078795,0.0,0.12928281813985906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256707568305743,0.0,0.11881059063414068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032475859758018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360094351735887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876874053974433,0.0,0.0,0.09175224878923452,0.09543654738378464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873265238176695,0.0,0.0,0.13177993293127685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181246125478192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386180358129254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986054113364179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238283325519768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345286477144802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861408963430115,0.0,0.3978327298364277,0.21630985842748734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886170647845136,0.0,0.0,0.11823965459686768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288185557119789,0.1488449685027272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fluidkillereye,2019/03/13,"Not being able to cope with current state of mind Hello everyone,
I’m a 22 year old male, I have had a history of problems with my state of mind.
Last year I have gone through the rabbit hole(depression, close to burn-out, overall collapse) and went to a psych again.

That has been the start of starting to really know myself, finding out I had ADHD and start taking medicine for it.

Lately it is going better, and my state of mind is getting better with leaps. However I am having difficulties coping with the fact that my head is in a really peacefull state, I never experienced it as I do now. Any tips on how to be less afraid of this feeling/fear of losing this feeling?",4.975411365564035,6.0449609770992385,5.669872773536898,80.33744698897374,69.0,8.264970313825277,28.29601357082273,8.515128840125781,2.0512843087362174,532,18,99,8,9,173,84,131,0.059,0.882,0.058,-0.0194,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,7,0,14,1,1,1,2,20,25,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,5,2,10,2,22,18,1,23,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,12,69,17,1,0.16618566217819944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19972287116963952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301194903035545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939554265240553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313546731984694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879752194136446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870050723147593,0.08402846411774388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189068452375562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682514942785026,0.0,0.09444714156595853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17055443395953174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913312938026068,0.13546349518009512,0.18746466547494645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18591924733131512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.503400433778978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281726276929271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438389701864726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590172348406202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21292558123687536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528812011279158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495093589716386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405577378209453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21403623566360128
mentalhealth,Same_Basis,2019/03/13,"hopeless. I'm new to Reddit posting and don't really know much about it but thought I'd give it a shot.

I'm a 16 year old guy going though anorexia, depression and some PTSD. I feel like things are building up and it's come to the point where I can't keep on top of my emotions anymore. I've been through some really dark places before and even with therapy, medication and hospitalization I can't get to a place where my mental health is ""normal"".

Last year was the last time I was in hospital. I was there to treat anorexia and ""suicidal ideation"". My eating disorder never got to a place where it was good and I'm still struggling to deal with it. I'm not underweight but I have been losing and while one side of me is thriving off weight loss, my logical mind knows it's not the best thing right now.

I feel mostly isolated from friends. My loneliness gets better when I'm with people, but within an hour of leaving my mood crashes and I feel like I did right before. It makes me feel bad because I know other people don't even get the chance to be with friends and I feel guilty for feeling lonely.

I do well at school, but I am home-schooled as my MH makes it too hard to attend. 

Also, my best friend that I've known for a while doesn't want to talk anymore because we argue and I honestly do not know how to fix it. 

I'm depressed and tired of fighting a battle that I can never win. I don't even know what I hope to achieve from posting on here, but I may as well give it a shot.",3.77992424242424,4.498588659090913,4.611818181818184,88.12106060606062,71.5,7.684848484848485,26.67965367965368,7.793537801064563,1.3075913419913423,1169,37,255,14,21,378,163,308,0.228,0.639,0.134,-0.9878,0,2,0,0,2,1,28.0,1,0,0,8,18,27,3,1,12,0,23,5,0,3,2,54,54,25,1,3,8,0,8,2,3,1,3,0,0,1,16,18,2,1,14,0,0,3,11,11,2,1,9,8,29,15,34,43,6,38,0,6,0,0,11,18,0,5,17,162,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125683105691065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767354284185289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439852996392055,0.10863454409050508,0.0,0.15164272179401533,0.0,0.18701933670431975,0.07880568327696899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675563108110033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186281997229664,0.15349113893477634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212146891211528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117614155261657,0.0,0.10023056176575458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17655803227509184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703234544562973,0.1273125355588874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652573134770927,0.0,0.13966026020737693,0.1709542984234879,0.05064013692601722,0.07473662140137978,0.07126500309984551,0.0,0.0,0.08822745730281821,0.0,0.0,0.07982012404302502,0.0,0.0,0.09471390960741212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937907186285786,0.08850086701036516,0.08774997711478139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920016770192911,0.0,0.0,0.24484749602317835,0.14526410922888947,0.0,0.09434879267521623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706390911717997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996851358965139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895588229995592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976340267803466,0.08979637159231252,0.0,0.0899701373435462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550205503080414,0.0,0.1374457566194186,0.08605767482301495,0.0,0.0,0.08730348470662293,0.0,0.0,0.0935001766734216,0.0,0.060379510666451815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354767263067774,0.0,0.2792856915548283,0.0,0.08423254723570922,0.0,0.17067494754707607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415838430664932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416524004971612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218950074819948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803570084552681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115896340787208,0.0,0.0,0.09315136300121764,0.0,0.0974658533675465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161881645357378,0.0,0.0,0.10189875356131993,0.0,0.1183941319949867,0.0,0.08754471220677226,0.07073901456949103,0.05195754657157069,0.10241250718673696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05255613873478553,0.0,0.0,0.1085052678843773,0.16023128089666436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476074449076484
mentalhealth,red_swift,2019/03/13,Help I think I don’t feel like dumping all my symptoms on y’all because I feel like most of them are just normal things that happen to people (like getting annoyed at something for a reason you don’t know) but lately I almost feel it’s been worsening for no reason.  I woke up at 3 AM and started to hide under my sheet because I felt that there were maybe people trying to get me for like 10 minutes.  This has never happened before and I’m a little bit worried.  Should I take this to consideration for seeking help with my parents (I’m 16) or should I do something else.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.,6.085679156908661,5.972773680327872,6.779274004683843,77.50073770491805,66.29508196721311,7.955035128805621,32.18266978922716,6.868970318607317,2.0161882903981265,487,18,90,3,7,161,84,122,0.118,0.746,0.13699999999999998,0.5199,1,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,1,0,2,7,2,0,2,0,12,1,0,2,2,23,27,4,0,4,3,1,4,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,9,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,4,15,5,15,19,3,9,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,3,7,60,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494913687064598,0.0,0.0,0.15318848210490718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403239973762199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651172766587576,0.0,0.13017565575731802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701574874135133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779608605925727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23205553510330604,0.2185794689839061,0.14688585481821406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15985263027594868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866221221126948,0.0,0.0,0.2705613780682626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20508002467178624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407441643958266,0.0,0.1725693537957725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989553689894724,0.1533272603137441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536900855643407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798846187486245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988900538228328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698674169150498,0.0,0.0,0.21211567705616916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145801170472114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23554466263497864,0.0,0.0,0.10828081599811124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900594716993316,0.1150227548712762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163385085636273,0.09802411723157142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386413073966494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535974157921512,0.0,0.10867339024838213,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PoloniumGermaphobe,2019/03/13,"How to not worry about having to pee in school? 
I go to school. Every day in school, I pee approximately four times a day, every single break between classes, because I'm afraid of having to pee during class.

It's all I think about. Breakfast in the morning is meticulously planned so I won't have to pee during the wrong time.

Whilst I would like to not care about what my classmates think, and I know that's the outlook I should have, it is nonetheless difficult to be confident when I feel like my classmates may have noticed me go pee during the break. Also when I often arrive late or on time but much later than everyone else to class because I'm worrying about peeing.

I don't want to have to go pee during class. And this goes further than just school. I'm worrying about this everywhere. I feel completely comfortable when I'm home alone at home. But going out to a restaurant makes me a little worried sometimes. Airport and airplane could also be problematic. I think about this all the time.

I'm desperately trying to remember what it was like four years ago. Did I think about this stuff? I definitely don't think so. It's like ""can't be unseen"". It's like how my mother pointed out that my warts on my hand are not normal. Now, I worry about them, too. Now, I worry about peeing. It has made me rethink every situation. I think about it also when I'm watching a film, the characters.

It's also a big reason as to why I don't like going to film theatres and musical theatres. Especially musical theatres, because we were locked inside. We actually couldn't leave. I had immense problems with peeing. Even though I peed before, I almost pissed myself during the musical. And then when the break comes, I can't get it out because I'm in shock or something.

I also get angry at other people with problems which I see as much more insignificant, like anorexia. Everyone eats. What I do, though, is much weirder.

Does anyone have advice that can help me stop worrying about this?",3.668138026864288,5.896197330708668,4.668483094025014,81.5507931912923,74.3805774278215,7.1070248571869685,25.904045082599968,8.027739517013583,1.7371799598579587,1577,56,284,25,34,513,174,381,0.14300000000000002,0.74,0.118,-0.8754,0,1,1,0,0,0,50.0,2,0,1,1,33,16,1,1,13,0,32,14,11,5,2,51,60,28,0,8,8,1,3,7,0,4,1,0,2,0,23,13,2,1,12,2,0,5,10,7,0,2,5,5,38,9,44,46,7,43,0,0,2,0,5,15,1,5,27,194,61,8,0.0,0.0,0.07029571937463093,0.0,0.0,0.0703917187790118,0.06385463623629352,0.0,0.07213259632190623,0.07460648289644106,0.0,0.28803161474762284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05036851146389012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756473460166619,0.0,0.061296436250681124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344443171433053,0.0,0.0,0.062051730432988624,0.07552727384477934,0.0,0.0,0.057514045498671035,0.0,0.0,0.09291316602363736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303826958908132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370973670407441,0.06017595683805459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047578404651236736,0.0,0.1820776549440743,0.13766496213954466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284606957333166,0.051461782190893764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527057577862484,0.0,0.20469560873668524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04828350810084387,0.0,0.1445138550870545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03958852427223041,0.0,0.081258560459905,0.07627461030936679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24634846329979634,0.07219794348364295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816121078332556,0.04808388803484627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588619286036614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057895587037692,0.0,0.08201226725070339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04993996381582511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809631086521296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785543594283725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406392530975284,0.0,0.0,0.0816015552108486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916128579163552,0.057402528215529006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097030118712806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055456023299431334,0.07124440681110261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06022444314703754,0.0,0.0,0.08246278276625488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769425213013316,0.14154794394038422,0.0,0.16801663296401048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04890700209327256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04248807947294273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500033744599744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5120849138928275,0.0,0.051171561216666835,0.07875890885086557,0.0,0.0463881456065799
mentalhealth,iloveyousunflower,2019/03/13,"I hate people I've been a disabled guy from my birth and lately I've got a feeling that I don't like to stay near people anymore. 

I just start to lose myself when my parents have guests or somebody just comes over. People who speak much gets me hyper. I get soooooo angry that I try to say something but then never could.

Is this common? What type of disease is it? I googled but I couldn't find anything.

Any help is greatly",1.1103448275862036,3.506749287356321,2.0443793103448265,95.90105172413791,84.86206896551724,3.48,21.34367816091953,3.1291,-0.373923218390805,336,11,69,0,10,105,65,87,0.102,0.8390000000000001,0.059,-0.3538,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,2,0,8,0,0,0,1,12,15,6,0,2,5,1,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,3,11,2,7,11,1,11,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,1,8,44,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410774191836061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057409353521573,0.0,0.0,0.170718884136731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870525987323874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563699957249134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048961544102685,0.1482068444472346,0.0,0.0,0.18961132831084093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167747411952328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16592177954173482,0.2287213375119197,0.0,0.20541438410682897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20482017722404766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390536057986506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23401977773358945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135268439084433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320905693168364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250427364922442,0.0,0.16000311188370347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303557049746149,0.0,0.0,0.4314722965577092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497760124232866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15971001914223235,0.0,0.0,0.14683865898158358,0.221120846095454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084923108047415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tibbersbear,2019/03/13,"I just don't want to be in this situation... I've been struggling with a lot lately... and I feel like I've started a down hill battle...I feel suicidal, but I don't want to actively commit suicide...I just don't want to live in this situation...I want all of this to be over. I'm relapsing and having more anxiety attacks...I'm feeling extremely depressed...I have no one really to turn to... and I can't wait for my first therapy appointment next week...I just really want to be out of this...I don't want to live in this reality. This is a nightmare...",0.5057113682777405,2.7537312389380513,3.568141592920356,84.96275017018381,86.16814159292036,7.7247106875425455,23.73655547991831,8.617729084823388,1.98003526208305,422,17,90,12,13,151,61,113,0.197,0.7390000000000001,0.064,-0.8342,0,0,0,0,0,2,36.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,3,0,12,0,0,0,2,22,25,4,1,6,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,1,3,5,1,18,21,3,10,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,5,56,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436084770767096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664200971270065,0.12547419593059325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493956566480631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981247462119229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580674277749709,0.0,0.31017912321441343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931921128932418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679058443922114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190153117019882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22503348371120094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19742191201280676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431586905421473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361259276012712,0.0,0.1921169746293422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20085475657693397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910412320524381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6215670015539404,0.0,0.14088438317282365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheChrispr,2019/03/13,Going to impatient because doc dosen't know bpd subtypes *sigh* I saw my psychiatrist today for an emergency meeting after not returning her calls for a month after skipping an appointment. It pretty much went down like this so how are you feeling? I'm feeling horrible I've been disassociating everyday and have started to cut myself. Oh I'm sorry did you cut yourself to kill yourself or why. Because our first meeting you said that's what people do to help them level out and come out of the deralization if you never told me people did that to feel better I probably never would have. Then she didn't say much and I told her I'm positive I have the quiet subtype of bpd and she asked me to explain it to her because she had never heard of the subtypes and she's a fucking psychiatrist. At this point I've already fully switched on her I use to love this lady and thought she was the best but now I just feel like she's an idiot handing out pills willy nilly. The appointment ended with me telling her I don't think she is equipped to handle my condition at the moment and I would like her help getting into this impatient hospital a few hours away with some of the top rated psych nurses and docs in my state. I told her I still would like her to be my psychiatrist working with the inpatient and when I get out and she agreed to learn about the subtypes of bpd. I feel kinda proud of myself because even tho I switched on her and hated her in the moment I didn't react without thinking and feel I treated her with enough respect to continue our professional relationship which is a first for me I usually just leave and find a new one but can never really trust them. So now its just a waiting game of having to call the hospital at 7:15 every single morning with a bag packed waiting for the day I'm the first to call when they have an open bed and I have 3 hours to make the 2.5 hour drive and get there. I would say I'm not scared but that's a lie but at the end of the day no one else can improve my life except myself so for now one step forward taking each day at a time. It helps she dumped the weak ass 1mg lorazepam a few months back and gave me 100mg of seroquel 4 times a day at this appointment while alot of people call it a zombie drug for me that is the exact effect I need at certain times no emotions no pain no suffering just go about your day mindlessly with my luck I won't get that side effects tho.,4.338952654232422,5.2915212357723584,5.235236728837879,83.30223098995698,70.3821138211382,7.983357245337159,28.29172644667623,8.219915518859313,1.8201937350549973,1936,68,388,27,34,633,235,492,0.121,0.763,0.116,-0.6438,0,0,1,0,0,1,17.0,2,5,3,10,21,25,7,1,35,0,27,9,2,6,6,80,69,32,1,6,14,0,7,4,0,5,5,5,1,0,17,30,0,2,15,1,0,7,15,11,1,6,16,13,65,13,61,47,10,73,0,1,1,3,53,24,2,6,47,273,82,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379589607082262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098875030777921,0.0,0.07134320678707581,0.05838914338781704,0.0,0.18515649996330025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968884598250082,0.06715812458615215,0.0,0.0,0.28691151658683195,0.0,0.3101515205423346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541107215220035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448581918768901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806021409146564,0.0,0.06343374837567932,0.08541638463747436,0.13451131773663072,0.07846090588319242,0.0,0.050154192926006036,0.0,0.06397831047173405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23036937791821266,0.05424780782873721,0.0,0.0,0.0694029951094477,0.19377020459509744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702004621688443,0.15869111236181718,0.0,0.08631094822906467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496985483321487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526924072918333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22434132858646594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084010561443157,0.0,0.041731758316820855,0.0,0.0,0.08040394689258401,0.0,0.0,0.053634966756631854,0.14839155279953786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685340857327859,0.0,0.05068704204796128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122080219510525,0.0,0.11164157176195304,0.05630466249066071,0.23426227305061664,0.07333826453919805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436607606853436,0.0,0.08079993860585216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793080484498004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178289263203354,0.0,0.0,0.07725295011885464,0.08187051462768984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048645751777318336,0.0,0.0,0.08152551461807862,0.0,0.0,0.07223134579453938,0.12077273815010875,0.07602394184330256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500274712552848,0.05374701407328327,0.0,0.06064159755041362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05709348944066076,0.0,0.06637032733736818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731185639491924,0.0,0.060283717569744176,0.13283450789636586,0.0,0.07197727381050506,0.21767675232838749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558325217604485,0.0836314103309712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039228342346877,0.06851931014541299,0.0,0.0,0.07319839905323941,0.0,0.05528140977302031,0.0,0.0,0.2157674997636916,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shambo_Vi,2019/03/13,"Mental illness deniers? I've been battling with severe depression and anxiety these last few years due to many losses of close friends/family over my early 20's along with other serious events in my life. I've been feeling a lot better recently with some life changes. And even though I still have my moments, I've been finding more positive ways to fight back. I encourage those who suffer as well to not give up, keep fighting to see those good times, and absolutely seek help when you feel you cant win on your own.

That being said... Two of the closest people I have, as much positive support as they are, dont believe mental illness exists. That or they believe it's just a state of emotion that you ""just get over.""

Even though I ignore their opinion, and just listen to/discuss with my friends who do understand, I worry about others. That negative attitude could seriously be dangerous to others who can't handle it like I do. What if someone who denies mental illness, is the only person that someone who suffers from it is comfortable opening up to about it?

I just want to know r/mentalhealth's take on mental illness deniers, how to handle them, and/or fix a situation they most certainly arent helping with?",7.521993927125507,7.7078792763157935,7.449122807017544,72.89398785425101,63.254385964912274,10.173279352226722,36.39811066126856,9.851270322608157,3.6790535762483136,977,43,164,18,13,313,141,228,0.243,0.621,0.136,-0.9745,1,0,0,0,3,0,30.0,0,4,5,3,15,21,4,0,5,0,17,6,0,1,1,34,30,13,0,3,7,0,2,1,1,0,6,2,0,1,21,12,0,2,5,0,0,0,6,11,1,1,4,5,20,10,30,23,7,23,0,4,1,0,24,10,0,6,12,122,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474268361510448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523076632841496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790665165277121,0.0,0.10953268533226794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101379795265225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888182253043247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106669315734159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514786519920467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931130504864647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635996676712092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675201280224932,0.0,0.1252416181323249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319399508674725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568395325508308,0.0,0.06470499207082755,0.1188054122290121,0.0,0.10387706183554617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602418549342568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008098256910273,0.0,0.0,0.06806312088442569,0.1009519066684509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495372221195632,0.0605054316172413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529036571442904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255615090333063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4992349437048606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104185997715668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419129146538674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585997726984346,0.1081385005557351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228405873671568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780694173331473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869009489059913,0.0,0.0,0.1399119581806689,0.0,0.0,0.1392093163122435,0.0,0.0,0.2098704721459361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890444474837376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054020822260155,0.0,0.0,0.0931175974904239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433582710258852,0.0,0.07221623317773736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098060964717315,0.1289291866904854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304822148529809,0.09830405413695524,0.0,0.0,0.11135340587783303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577272991574207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975346442099407
mentalhealth,throwawaybluespruceg,2019/03/13,"Do you have sex with ugly, deformed women? It's so exhausting. And I'm still so angry. I don't want any help. I just hate this disgusting body.

I do it as punishment for myself because I'm the only one to blame for all my problems. I let myself get fat, I let myself loose weight too fast and get saggy skin, I let myself gain all the weight back again. I have to beat myself down mentally because I cant ever do anything right.

I keep the way I feel to myself and vent here so I don't bring others around me down.",0.8089491242702245,2.790758568807341,2.889224353628024,91.99745621351126,82.57798165137615,5.431526271893245,18.16597164303586,6.574015621080383,-0.047190825688073534,400,9,87,4,11,135,68,109,0.282,0.688,0.029,-0.9807,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,11,5,3,0,3,0,11,7,3,0,3,13,20,7,0,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,5,3,1,1,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,0,4,20,0,10,17,2,11,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,5,64,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358239641958113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954802078025048,0.1617779208848383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973888633821285,0.0,0.2215614205135905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20186067745232056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438487616122766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188797337118992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18989248708381848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942040960848907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180955630479764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152966634935895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5574926509853816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314074784889625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314471667529008,0.13821359083407714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389073564549026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519613146686173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451295363451591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107188858316442,0.14424854043761584,0.0,0.4425955203648986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,winningwriters,2019/03/13,"Supporting and promoting fiction, essay and poetry from mental health communities Hey there writers and poets of /r/mentalhealth,

I'm from a writers' resource website called [Winning Writers](https://winningwriters.com/). Part of our mission is to find and promote voices and themes underrepresented in publishing, including (but of course not limited to) racial, cultural, national, religious, gender/sexual identity, body positive, neurodiverse, and [dis]abled. We are interested primarily in the representation of the voices/themes in the poetry, rather than the identity of the writer.  At this time of year we're offering two contests: 

[The Tom Howard/John H. Reid Fiction and Essay Contest](https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/tom-howard-john-h-reid-fiction-essay-contest), with two first prizes of $2000 each, ten honorable mentions receiving $100 each, and the top twelve entries published online. The contest is international. The deadline is April 30.

[The Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest](https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/wergle-flomp-humor-poetry-contest-free), with a first prize of $1000, a second prize of $250, and ten honorable mentions of $100 each. The top twelve entries will be published online. The contest is international and the deadline is April 1.

Since I started doing outreach on Reddit last year we've received hundreds more entries featuring diverse characters and voices. We're working hard to increase the diversity of our entry pool and give good writers the exposure they deserve. I know /r/mentalhealth isn't technically a ""writers' subreddit,"" but in the past some of our strongest entries have come from subs like this one, which ostensibly have nothing to do with writing. So, if you are a writer, please consider entering our contests. And if you know any writers, please consider passing this information on to them. Thanks for reading, and all the best.
",11.711900154798762,12.756246993421055,10.442670278637774,52.044280185758495,54.39473684210528,12.942414860681113,45.5139318885449,12.319762396917735,6.412626780185759,1562,84,194,44,17,491,166,304,0.004,0.813,0.183,0.9922,0,0,0,0,0,0,101.0,5,2,2,15,3,13,0,0,22,0,14,2,1,0,1,36,22,19,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,22,0,1,4,2,0,6,2,0,0,8,0,3,11,13,32,20,9,26,0,0,0,0,20,10,0,3,11,121,15,7,0.16916332336750076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503686074743336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752647132651445,0.0,0.0,0.18790231711986627,0.0,0.0,0.1727346667516194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571922433679274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546122129058962,0.2877804728785447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227687410315106,0.0,0.14188616974114374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153711067434888,0.0,0.0,0.17981270230602794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593547703935848,0.13789068647252056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826446550278472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047684231616134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623167711311778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462944589503772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831873943614824,0.16148553338329866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713810605298167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920910136524853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993364917514614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973467095836413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919645346813624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574286034752852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864049423100037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33049597307558665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315291413699805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178712680225075
mentalhealth,WorriedOrchid,2019/03/13,"I think I just reached the point where I need help again I just can’t do this. I mentally and physically can’t. I’m exhausted on every level. I haven’t self harmed in almost three years and haven’t had the urge to in almost two, but just now I had one. I saw a sharp and just... my mind went there. 

And I keep trying to convince myself I’m not suicidal and I know when it comes down to it I’m not going to commit suicide, but the desire to die is so strong I can’t handle it. I’m in so much distress and I’ve just reached my max. 

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist and I even have a peer mentor person that meets with me every week. I also have two dietitians for my eating disorder. One I meet with at the beginning of the week and we work on social settings and the other I meet with at the end of the week in her office. 

It’s just not working. None of it. 

I feel hopeless. It’s been an endless cycle of trying to get better for half my life. 

I don’t see it getting better. 

I don’t know what to do. I just. I need a sign that it’s going to be okay. ",-0.44285809018567335,1.5135470086206908,2.2839655172413806,94.58066312997349,87.5344827586207,5.120954907161805,17.112732095490717,6.490185161304077,-0.27642360742705563,814,19,192,9,26,283,114,232,0.13,0.74,0.131,-0.4166,0,0,0,0,0,3,23.0,1,0,0,5,16,9,0,1,14,1,17,3,0,0,1,40,37,16,3,3,12,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,13,15,1,1,4,0,0,4,11,4,0,6,5,4,29,5,26,31,2,26,0,1,2,0,9,12,0,2,9,138,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272471123964566,0.0,0.0,0.10880004576208452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406523506496865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171960084423582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119960135439644,0.0,0.15592639086146792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921427919538273,0.0,0.0,0.12050092599288338,0.0,0.0,0.08986049340238708,0.0,0.22925790290446826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879154316194633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216220841640131,0.0,0.15464199384753755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119220984697736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092850246810075,0.0,0.0,0.14954029460433074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609694215361338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710754735514227,0.0,0.13737286538017496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001324054349613,0.2017603895941531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18438354403819995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187946058088816,0.0,0.0,0.1286123008555166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084151422436944,0.0,0.1419310083986561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868700168542494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976357255674297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796585715151545,0.0,0.08717607561197015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847395838993863,0.0,0.2658043852965539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273960488473057,0.0,0.0,0.12612076779873127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19809369739084493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761247214539993
mentalhealth,mildly_manic,2019/03/13,"Appointment So tomorrow I go to see a VA mental health professional (not really sure of their title), and if asked, I plan to be honest about my self harm and suicidal ideation for the first time ever.  The idea is fairly terrifying, but I'm getting real damn tired of these thoughts, and if being honest is the first step in getting rid of them, then so be it.",9.278523809523813,6.702567328571432,9.355714285714287,69.54595238095239,61.42857142857143,12.761904761904766,36.19047619047619,11.20814326018867,3.8299047619047615,283,9,54,6,3,94,54,70,0.182,0.715,0.103,-0.7471,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,3,4,5,1,0,4,0,5,2,0,0,2,12,12,9,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,2,1,1,5,3,8,8,0,9,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,2,6,37,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22524419392117506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21794191323087767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4098829119706408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517599727521555,0.0,0.1369304282448928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561054726656526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719892983699334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428084986210943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742398123694451,0.1543508386788845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919961258427143,0.0,0.2513505326427465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635467013126363,0.0,0.2270808992334694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912775941497426,0.14049269086679553,0.27692240420282704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SelfDestructivMoron,2019/03/13,"I've smashed three laptops, 1 mechanical keyboard, 2 mice, an outlet cover, a vanity pullout drawer, and my phone. I've broken everything I own that is tech based. Plus the god forsaken vanity drawers and shit. I opened my laptop (gaming laptop $1,100) and now it won't even power on. I'm dealing with multiple state, federal, private agencies and my tax return came back as less than half of what my preparer told me it would be (he's not shady at all btw). I'm so used to defeat over the last year that this is all fine. I figured I'd get fuck (even after verifying I wouldn't) so whatever. Idk why federal employees feel the need to lie to me about whether of not I'll be garnished or fucked, they have nothing invested in it but them lieing to me and therefore encouraging my future movements will potentially be detrimental to me and my family all because they didn't hear out my appeal or start a payment plan instead. They have nothing to gain but ",5.514516129032259,6.252312655913979,6.505537634408604,76.02830645161293,67.60215053763442,9.855913978494623,32.704301075268816,9.928628108626363,3.2552559139784947,758,32,140,17,12,253,129,186,0.099,0.853,0.048,-0.8017,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,4,4,8,6,3,0,6,0,12,3,1,2,3,28,24,15,0,3,7,0,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,7,11,0,0,2,1,2,2,5,4,0,2,3,2,19,2,19,14,5,17,0,1,0,2,11,6,3,2,8,90,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16454849150154344,0.0,0.13044900555530184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447525952347724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206188393059993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826825779455991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923243764484808,0.0,0.20173488387278388,0.0,0.108202003047083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956687658824161,0.11180324645457693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411872516812709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744340048594323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867414282489506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4106668139607193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196621857457876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146634417514504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044808284118151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482246162880314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930966695001489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201548841604978,0.0,0.0,0.13780538336989998
mentalhealth,Smacky_Malacky,2019/03/13,"I've never shared this before I [19M] have never enjoyed eye contact and didn't realize that it was a form of communication until I got into highschool. I have always either focused on what I was doing while I talked to people, or I looked at their mouths because those two things made sense to me. To put it plainly, how do I know if I have something serious such as aspergers or high functioning autism? The most difficult thing in my life has always been communicating with people, but since I have sort of taught myself, it hasn't left. Other than that, I'm sure that I have a few other screws loose that could contribute to this as well. If I were to go to therapy or somewhere to get diagnosed, how would I approach asking this question without seeming like I am self diagnosing?",8.881939451277198,7.203671271523181,8.842724692526016,70.08569536423839,61.450331125827816,11.54247871333964,36.80321665089877,10.290406445055957,3.6698223273415334,626,23,113,11,7,205,106,151,0.104,0.8440000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.6695,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,4,8,1,0,3,0,17,6,2,3,3,25,27,13,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,16,3,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,3,1,1,8,2,17,5,19,17,4,13,0,0,2,1,7,6,1,9,5,91,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886657072696958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216195207018072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573978039602433,0.0,0.14760192750287485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849392384532888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521170781277977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062584016907488,0.0,0.0985814779748254,0.0,0.1387320366792662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327031587724052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532923685282964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884651083671173,0.0,0.12252012989051815,0.08474393396266543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14566295322032474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413231678598275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675665322292818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405110433661697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437549756590126,0.1943152186643364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791172973722195,0.18095690866727235,0.0,0.0,0.14348814113698746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335382027295175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348426681505512,0.0,0.0,0.1394208073946519,0.0,0.0,0.1983669543497317,0.0,0.2304786128967977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944549473772505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559616289315087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720952583925985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322121041461773,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jujucfc,2019/03/13,"My ex’s self harm When we first started dating she was occasionally cutting herself, and was generally going through a lot. I convinced her to start seeing a therapist again, and with time her progress was amazing, even though she never mentioned to her therapist of her past traumatic experiences and her self harm, but the fact that I knew helped her deal with it.

We broke up two months ago, and she has been chilling with the wrong crowd, with drugs involved, and she started cutting again, way more than she ever has before. I have tried several times to convince her to open up to her therapist, but she say’s she can’t. Her therapist feels like she could end the sessions soon as she is doing well, but she is far from it, and I do not know how to help as I am the only person who knows about this. Any advice would be amazing, I even thought of just sending an email to the therapist not saying anything specific about her past(because it is definitely not my place) but just the fact that she is not well and is cutting herself and really needs proper attention. ",11.04878078817734,7.740154931034489,9.768318965517242,70.2242025862069,58.80295566502463,12.908620689655173,42.123768472906406,10.686352973137794,4.313266502463054,853,34,159,14,8,266,118,203,0.08800000000000001,0.779,0.133,0.9174,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,0,2,15,14,3,0,9,0,19,1,0,1,4,41,30,17,0,3,10,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,3,7,15,0,0,6,0,0,2,6,7,2,2,6,4,33,7,22,21,2,25,0,1,1,0,40,5,0,1,18,124,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770591425964852,0.09770356648256608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495352289112872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907018420392069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671892174184491,0.0,0.09378928120741298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880018695473648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363219748311995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782045181626148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976223915924089,0.0,0.0,0.14559881931750454,0.09970049080836313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078165156692372,0.0,0.0,0.05573065027897161,0.07874134055032833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375325491921993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264068576911509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477565677857864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114829059131328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384802751232405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937052816289246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797672062217747,0.0,0.0,0.0817268896421619,0.08500862135575996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382743695367978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104353255884769,0.0,0.0962400365954482,0.115156661010184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060988932709336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530307093507333,0.0,0.0,0.08783123767269396,0.0,0.2299674357990805,0.12451746516041624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340432973108512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6398707992495639,0.0,0.0,0.108290797398587,0.08750253558235876,0.12854058245848812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748322880237023,0.0,0.1076691302352822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748767292871203,0.0,0.0,0.19820241267701014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829727531213503,0.12050849774681248,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DeadlyCooper,2019/03/13,"Is my brother autistic? I don't know exactly but I'll tell you about my brother in detail first.

My elder brother was always a genius with a very weird personality. When he was three, he developed a way to tell which day would fall on a said date. He's been famous around the family for his intelligence, he was a high scorer in school. 

He learned programming and excelled at it even when we didn't have a computer. He ended up being the all time top scorer in computer science at my school. The record still stands, since 2010.

He did his programming graduation and post graduation, cleared the campus selection of a major IT company. He has been there for 3 years and has even cleared Oracle SE6 and SE8 certifications that can help him boost his career. 

He also has great interest in various languages, has developed his own scripts and has pretty great understanding of linguistics and etymology. He's also become a fan of airplanes and now knows various airplane timings.

One huge downside in his personality is that he's still very awkward while talking. He doesn't seem emotionally matured for his age (he's 26 now) or at least isn't able to emote it properly. He's pretty good with the people he's familiar with but still the awkwardness is uncanny.

He's approaching the age of marriage and since we've arranged marriage system, he would get someone. But I'm just really worried whether he'll be able to handle the huge responsibility of marriage and parenting- something that requires very strong emotional intelligence.

I'm not sure whether he's really autistic or just very socially awkward. I want to help him get past that, at least enough so that he's able to emote what he feels.

It will be very hard to take him to a therapist or psychiatrist to really know what his condition is. I want some help, just to get a better(?) personality. I'm don't want to see him lonely in the future.",5.645339239412272,7.29195695224719,6.488764044943823,72.92888072601558,67.96067415730337,10.083664649956786,32.23163353500432,10.302915286807345,3.5857302506482283,1529,66,268,41,26,505,176,356,0.058,0.7340000000000001,0.208,0.9962,1,2,1,0,0,0,36.0,1,1,0,6,18,13,0,3,19,0,28,0,0,0,5,45,47,23,0,5,12,4,2,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,12,14,0,1,7,0,0,2,6,5,0,3,8,4,20,8,35,32,9,42,0,1,1,0,52,17,0,5,19,160,32,14,0.2661487328032273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189269697723478,0.07381902214091328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897626633432543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798012171240028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846230860569857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057214638240923724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3991753356847308,0.07857626004484139,0.0916675956755218,0.0,0.117192485272034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363377955208284,0.0,0.04485759872665427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546199205342732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390517280058388,0.0,0.0,0.07441097657808238,0.0,0.19561994500208274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947232921764792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17839388542349524,0.093733582928674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462683831579773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06011642311027018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850889039965886,0.0,0.08468969360584075,0.06150467335835591,0.23239080764859146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496563857351762,0.18051262897165732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050169336154405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843894641141407,0.0,0.0,0.17957115106637914,0.07069536055052482,0.08076393683224069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677398805329767,0.0,0.0,0.09043503873087998,0.07516898587296393,0.06829809912085026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21254672181499096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836140103087226,0.0,0.06670357481651623,0.07130675663080578,0.1550838156335176,0.0,0.0,0.10300639739877852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346231093931664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235673902911634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.366000963188046,0.15698141828323434,0.07041882529846834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009565244286884,0.0,0.1260429490688131,0.0,0.0,0.05713035263210295
mentalhealth,imbrokeonreddit,2019/03/13,"Quick request Hi, so I'm doing a school project at tbe momebt that is about people with autism abd mental health issues (including eating disorders) and the police. I just wanted to know if anyone has had any experiences with the police as someone with mental health issues and wether pr not it was good or bad",13.371724137931032,8.523130310344833,11.792413793103455,62.16896551724139,56.24137931034482,13.66896551724138,39.3448275862069,10.125756701596842,4.004834482758621,250,6,41,3,2,79,49,58,0.1,0.9,0.0,-0.7101,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,11,8,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,7,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,26,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672288115040552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086305391576274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801489699563861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472774320120613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207743619835895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21105278583857776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809676262421876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.458681462243731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4503907230640123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857498858207688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4348667602981097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495794740549234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183586780100916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18281110618389065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725969535349688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Coxe22,2019/03/13,"How do I convince my roommate to go to counseling? Hi everyone, I was hoping someone could give me some advice. My roommate has been struggling with food for a couple years now and most recently has gotten herself into a rut and has been not eating enough or at all for days and lied to myself and others when asked. Tonight she passed out while at the gym with friends. They brought her back to our apartment and she is recovering, but is still shakey and not feeling good about the whole thing. I have been trying to urge her to go to our university's counseling center for a while, and she said that she wants to make an appointment but hasn't yet. One of our friend who was with her when she fainted suggested that we approach her tomorrow and that we try and get her to go to the counseling or at least call and be there to support her. I think it's a good idea, but I don't want my roommate to feel ganged up on, or that we are attacking her. I just want her to know how much we care about her and are worried about her health. Any suggestions on how to convince her to go without forcing her?  She has also expressed that she does not like people being all up in her business about her issues with food and doesn't like being told to eat or have people know about it. I understand her need for autonomy, but i'm scared that if I don't do something, it will only escalate until its too late. Please help",7.264300911854099,5.978670982269508,6.994792299898684,80.79000000000002,64.35460992907801,10.184802431610944,33.26342451874367,9.04235418022936,2.5568573454913883,1115,37,230,15,14,352,149,282,0.102,0.809,0.08900000000000001,-0.2213,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,7,0,1,0,18,14,1,2,8,0,26,6,0,4,2,57,52,30,0,7,14,0,2,2,2,1,2,1,0,0,13,22,4,0,7,1,0,7,8,3,0,1,9,3,44,11,42,38,8,34,0,0,0,0,44,12,0,8,17,181,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914543544154023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750479958522544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291438946623103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398507767091776,0.1387093108570577,0.0,0.0937541654888006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450087163633722,0.0,0.1243124752335138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734861023150478,0.13490965976196265,0.0,0.07863268447025837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106698944278538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24952306402572866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259829538124185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650626056349192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329968396946107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948686856558259,0.0,0.18840065104932416,0.0,0.06370170868560801,0.11696327466977935,0.2771751888879891,0.2045327916869713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296024624899207,0.0,0.0,0.08172494857499397,0.0,0.0,0.12110080076494588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376404903524607,0.0,0.12725987770723274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401553605221095,0.0,0.13753871531028436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11913452905023085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138707048224814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963021023343085,0.09040716028113363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262073964367524,0.0927308082053602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905735043780032,0.0,0.0,0.1338389873171073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038798301703295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598028596036936,0.0,0.12206997416192815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033081625581323,0.09386518980464226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973708816806001,0.0,0.0,0.12746434055241992,0.0,0.0,0.13836106174019894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100273293810996,0.07812575556961561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650626056349192,0.0,0.16556055631591388,0.0,0.0,0.12693007492589636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157467164186324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361268923609583,0.0,0.11753306214429884,0.0,0.0,0.12382256059804793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785168469173601
mentalhealth,DenielleG,2019/03/13,"Sickening feeling Today was alright, but then once it hit the afternoon, my mood just went to sh*t. 

Not new/much happened, it's the same as always, but since a few hours ago & now... I legitimately feel like crap. TMI: My stomach has me feeling like vomiting, the same response I get when I'm anxious. Or maybe it's a food I just ate. Not sure. 

Wanted to make this post to share my feelings and also ask for some help, maybe. For those get these stomach aches or feel like vomiting due to anxiety, etc. - what do you do/eat/drink to help with the situation?

I'm thinking of maybe drinking some hot green tea to cleanse my tummy and just try to relax, maybe watch a DVD movie or something. 

Thanks for your time. 
",2.5591153846153887,4.677217164285717,3.3599999999999994,90.15423076923078,77.35714285714286,6.307692307692308,25.05494505494506,7.321109707123232,1.0599010989010995,553,20,115,7,13,175,95,140,0.111,0.688,0.201,0.935,0,0,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,0,0,6,11,1,1,7,1,3,9,3,1,1,26,21,11,0,1,10,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,4,0,6,3,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,8,10,8,13,17,6,11,0,0,2,0,6,0,1,5,12,62,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530223871516848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401966703952392,0.10823150546659917,0.1409344963068618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950581033055632,0.14694594075740144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160108914884372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25484486441004306,0.0,0.13309758160136262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506624673909485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288451472937872,0.2787734318738417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728529586634166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591598681322234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150234957980112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743709432921334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280961174784123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906419083588364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682501793653774,0.0,0.522704934084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561893019445512,0.0,0.0,0.1256257196469514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13852394724238612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245743808172991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759807722744588,0.14620797402665225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013687358586276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259265906473076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975412928967652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334579544937648,0.0,0.0,0.07584685726830663,0.0,0.12329439314503368,0.0,0.0,0.08831131398720002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672067324617894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057936355910025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BitofaBiter-Nom,2019/03/13,"Does anyone know what causes this feeling? Background information: While I have talked to a physiologist multiple times, he was friend who was off duty and couldn't diagnose anything outside of his office (I'm 17 and I really don't want to talk to my parents to make an appointment, so that's the best I've got). He speculated that I have ASPD,  codependence and self esteem issues. While those don't directly relate to my question I figured it was worth mentioning.  


Question: Is there a word for this ""empty"" feeling? And what causes it?  
There are certain people who get rid of the feeling entirely for me, and I feel great, but the moment they leave I'm empty again. Interactions with anyone other than the people who get rid of the feeling is completely draining.   
It's as if I have no reason to live, but also no reason to die, watching things around me with little purpose. I would be impulsive and just do what I want, but I know there are people who stop me from feeling empty so I don't want to mess up anything for my future with them.   


Hopelessness is hopelessness, Sad is sad, Happy is happy, Comfort is comfort, Boredom is boredom, Loneliness is loneliness, Grumpy is grumpy, Frustration is frustration, Satisfaction is satisfaction, They are their own feelings. ""alive"" is its own feeling too. Emptiness is a lack of that.  


I hope I did a decent job of explaining it, I really want to stress that it's not sadness or hopelessness, it's just like something is missing. Let me know if I need to elaborate on anything, thank you for reading  
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mentalhealth,izurice,2019/03/13,"Bloodlust Over the past year or so I've had a fascination with blood, particularly killing things. Though I'd never kill a person, that doesn't stop me from fantasizing about it. I started collecting knives and axes because I've become addicted to just holding them. In the past I used to self harm because I loved the sight of blood so much. There's no emotion behind it, it just feels strangely pleasurable.  If anyone has help I'd really appreciate it, because I struggle with this quite a lot. ",5.470921658986175,7.261878150537632,5.959170506912442,76.00161290322583,68.56989247311829,8.755145929339479,31.565284178187408,9.23628265651192,2.920457450076805,400,17,70,8,7,129,69,93,0.14400000000000002,0.6459999999999999,0.21,0.7861,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,7,6,2,1,6,0,3,4,2,1,1,13,7,6,2,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,2,6,2,10,6,2,8,0,0,1,1,5,2,0,3,6,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072130435124523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290693593264896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476092982295965,0.20992618384307726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21381213209385494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610913267378428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274052564043506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4205862221118313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159749256876646,0.17155278877492042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972917836573812,0.0,0.14659984815176266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36290185965881616,0.0,0.16596875147483867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217131791362575,0.0,0.0,0.12176881460110008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982927768402817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345381652649039,0.0,0.0,0.15891369377991513,0.0,0.19871076426056625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627935703089302,0.0,0.1867506401312844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641663369027337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224039805223964
mentalhealth,number1plantmom,2019/03/13,"Two years after being in the ER for my depression, I'm doing better than I ever thought I would About two years ago I was lying in the ER wondering why I hadn't tried to commit suicide instead of calling 911 for help. I was suffering from Major Depressive Disorder. I failed all my courses that semester and was struggling to take care of my basic needs. For the next year and a half I would fight intermittently with suicidal thoughts, self-harm and depression and anxiety. 

​

Today, I am doing worlds better than I ever thought I could. I don't have symptoms at all, and life just feels so wonderful and *full*. I have a lot of hobbies I enjoy--drawing, painting, bouldering, hiking. I went from having no friends or only friends who didn't care for me to having a huge group of friends who are so kind and loving. I am currently a club officer for one group, hoping to become an officer for another. I just applied to a volunteer position and I'm very excited to start helping people again, as I've not had the energy to dedicate to volunteering the last few years.

​

I'm graduating university next year. I never thought that was possible. I have a job--something I couldn't handle at all two years ago. I'm going to get my EMT certification within the year, because I really want to be able to help people. 

​

And my future seems bright and attainable. I want to work in law enforcement someday and I never thought that it would happen. But now I believe that it's a possibility for me, and I cannot begin to tell you how beautiful that feeling is. I know that some things in my future are still closed off to me--mainly, the military won't take me because I'm on meds--but I've made peace with that because I feel so much better on medication than not.

​

CBT, DBT and medication has done wonders for me. I am so proud of myself for how far I've come over the last few years, and so excited to see what else I am able to do now that I'm free of that burden depression laid on me. 

​

Thanks for reading if you made it this far <3 ",5.195341178617042,6.084068012315271,6.259666119321293,76.96649607735814,68.38423645320196,9.561612844371464,31.53950009122423,9.725611199111238,3.0065817551541683,1647,67,309,36,27,550,201,406,0.117,0.6990000000000001,0.185,0.9815,2,0,1,0,1,2,67.0,0,2,0,7,17,26,1,1,16,0,34,5,0,4,8,62,73,25,2,10,7,0,3,0,3,4,4,0,0,0,17,18,0,0,13,2,1,3,11,9,2,5,16,5,42,18,54,49,10,50,0,6,2,1,16,18,0,9,29,215,59,5,0.11886772404062185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536906529394724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32198282333900796,0.3610932385752687,0.0,0.062321586462189216,0.04546674176790376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086909919272556,0.06564003112004434,0.0,0.06696160990425593,0.0,0.15769326334619452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060688618226877836,0.0,0.12119356677793745,0.0,0.0,0.05119700949670239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745310264585018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20476119307521065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811635498360383,0.0,0.0,0.06082147584292572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964936533136826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075226617003745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901546392756338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775536309446892,0.0,0.031051739863420514,0.0,0.03377763344003043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052557167901217366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951179470051496,0.0,0.0,0.05903123542829852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897893725980345,0.0,0.0,0.0618912213650543,0.03266329623659128,0.09689306015689468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04197989441306272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05052854411464956,0.0536413809262294,0.11247551458856483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974672645210648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04369072713273988,0.04406945560432938,0.09167811674287056,0.0,0.12641717304212902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040273923065401535,0.04520213025884082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240791300751575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400549865207187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05944994566744875,0.0,0.038074853901226204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047361093102131886,0.05410635580354295,0.062002480130852564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0457550906590179,0.0,0.0,0.042067593442385066,0.0,0.04746395898326968,0.0,0.0,0.06213317705856775,0.0,0.13002199708813722,0.0,0.0,0.06177453945842803,0.0893737352077651,0.0,0.051947815059261035,0.054718714957109185,0.0,0.0,0.039485217010961984,0.0,0.0,0.23591923808658255,0.0,0.0,0.0563363517761758,0.0,0.0,0.040351690970625576,0.0,0.1741747413477735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049039160584322984,0.07011126339569276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509578553521182,0.053629816127455134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19336046424664066,0.04326855940466665,0.0,0.0,0.12666033101526508,0.0,0.3610932385752687,0.3061876682029671
mentalhealth,pl4nts_,2019/03/13,"I’m having a hard time making it into work. (Tw:rape) I am kind of at my last straw here. I really like my job. But after seeing a close friend I was sexually assaulted by in my work environment late last year I’ve been having panic attacks about going in.

I have been suffering from severe Paranoia and have been have panic attacks regularly (and am taking low doses of lorazepam almost daily). Having a hard time staying focused. Where I work is very loud, lots of people and social interaction. 

I just came back from a 3 month medical leave for Bipolar Disorder 1 and ptsd and was doing outpatient treatment and really trying to get my life on track. I’m in my mid 20s and feel ridiculous because I know my behavior is going to get me fired.but my body feels like a thousand pounds.

I need some motivation. I need help. What do I do? I’m grasping man.",2.6044613749114127,5.078206030120484,4.496548547129699,80.21659461374914,79.06024096385542,7.038412473423105,24.222537207654142,8.124751697461798,1.7646467753366415,675,24,121,13,17,229,107,166,0.199,0.7070000000000001,0.094,-0.9362,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,4,5,12,4,2,5,0,18,5,1,2,0,23,34,8,0,2,2,0,4,2,1,0,4,1,0,1,2,10,0,0,5,0,0,3,0,8,0,1,6,6,18,4,17,28,2,23,0,2,1,0,5,10,0,3,11,75,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576540036450335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084873152159173,0.0,0.10425389118886726,0.0,0.08264929265991365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506006069884527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506924553944934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538827435858665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710827427405814,0.09685953118113028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475001762323972,0.0,0.1416715933895783,0.0,0.1541083099184216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24290898801716196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087749703420872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345438299878232,0.0,0.0,0.14118738573395492,0.07451210855732003,0.2210342203238371,0.15294196460985865,0.14356135137690546,0.0,0.0,0.09576530265266944,0.13247665491645136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152666386467251,0.0,0.0,0.09050177926494936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658421085480474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821994970825848,0.0,0.0,0.20106409569118688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31815161955309346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399521890750556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584876497547971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371410568257695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804099148652473,0.0,0.0,0.15316863054410304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820837992082352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451195939743364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194049938710567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811745733133398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205101519137003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186902970697406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961150863764597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873101133409718
mentalhealth,bennybuttons98,2019/03/13,"Concern for a friend A very dear friend of mine who’s been living alone and in practical isolation for some time is beginning to exhibit very worrying symptoms and I’m not sure what to do or how to help her. She’s 20 and has recently started to tell me she sometimes hears voices and often when we’re on call will swear she hears me saying things when I’m being completely silent. Usually I’d pin this on call quality but last week she showed me serious damage she’d done to her skin by ‘washing her hands 70 times in the space of a day’. Her whole forearm and hand looked red raw. Today she told me she threw away all her dogs food she’d bought because she was convinced it was poisoned which frankly scared the living shit out of me. It may also be worth mentioning she’s exhibited paranoid behavior before, particularly when it comes to forming friendship and romance because she believes people all have ‘ulterior motives’. I’ve told her I think she needs to come back to her house in the city and try to get help but she won’t listen and I feel I’ve exhausted all options. What should I do? ",5.45136904761905,6.209228912037037,5.778068783068786,81.11666666666669,67.75,9.134391534391536,31.16931216931217,9.23628265651192,2.590814550264549,879,34,171,16,14,281,138,216,0.135,0.737,0.128,0.0436,1,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,2,1,6,0,17,10,5,2,4,29,35,16,0,2,4,0,4,0,2,4,4,5,0,0,9,11,1,0,3,1,2,3,2,6,0,0,8,11,29,6,22,19,6,25,0,1,2,0,35,8,1,5,14,106,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787208470066598,0.0,0.1064559476421806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507054184328595,0.10236099735570793,0.0,0.16229732877953165,0.0,0.11327524261307888,0.14998055807851027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27186063309096986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22934203843800305,0.13957369778698608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858513322066081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622789092322665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730942864754781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096912918659909,0.0,0.20569623166425816,0.0,0.06954966107719783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30007163731847963,0.0,0.17845494547076135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360250847193466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851049770939053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23509464699286545,0.0,0.11178720118982508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870672994875772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922885874505161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314398560001856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586229916334347,0.13327625751085245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366456793927077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165899944571186,0.0,0.09422296074616608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546394413810075,0.13836256201524105,0.0,0.0,0.11635267289253184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843895616641644,0.08529786615432454,0.0,0.0,0.15524658549639114,0.0,0.12618211377503186,0.2544035663330095,0.0,0.0903796838194202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661277893535338,0.21967574204547255,0.0,0.0,0.1067807658542104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862363070860338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518973511067955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,calcuslut,2019/03/13,"My therapist killed himself. I’m sorry if this is the wrong sub to post in.  I don’t know how to feel

Has anyone gone through anything similar?

Thanks. ",1.003,3.5776343,2.2816666666666663,92.0625,89.33333333333334,5.666666666666668,24.16666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.2146666666666674,119,5,24,2,4,38,28,30,0.256,0.6609999999999999,0.083,-0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,8,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,1,4,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397009949126088,0.0,0.28210374102687363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333523311205007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792689041369133,0.0,0.18839962467381394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283175913717336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837481644821495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31561374840681483,0.0,0.3980292840450366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37480934538473054,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blubaris,2019/03/14,"Constant Nightmares? Hi, reddit. This is my first post on the site and I was wondering if anyone has the same type of predicament.

For a few months now (maybe more, I'm not really sure), I've been having nightmares that wake me up in the middle of the night. At first it was a once a week ""oh, that gave me a fright!"" Kind of bad dreams, but now they have progressed to being near night terrors and occurring 2-3 times nightly. They feel so real, and when I wake up my heart is pounding and I cant go to sleep.

I haven't slept in a day now, and this week combined I've probably slept for roughly seven hours. It's gotten to the point of when whenever I try to go to sleep, my heart starts pounding and I get a sinking feeling because I know I'm going to have nightmares?

Has anyone else been through this? Is this a mental health thing, or is it a product of something else? I just want to have a good night's sleep again.
",2.6525964912280706,4.021112400000003,3.5100000000000016,92.45833333333336,75.0,6.119298245614036,24.24561403508772,6.42735559955562,0.5518140350877196,716,22,157,5,15,228,109,190,0.041,0.901,0.058,-0.3616,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,3,8,6,0,2,14,0,17,10,9,0,1,19,33,12,0,2,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,3,0,3,8,3,15,3,22,24,3,34,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,3,20,102,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17446083421067304,0.1278245118281708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416380540173056,0.07604846168356191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481401192155476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045556629790171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20843077002422172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615804693616242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21223020860712632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517845703694716,0.0,0.2127005481494065,0.10463716005963272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326069379861129,0.0,0.2956665531264839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285688365916647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991137792760105,0.06856115824123833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533147088875027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572199720692204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957690421683628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4682901328996899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285820683233784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793220461489524,0.0,0.11947918884866199,0.0,0.13450517148274982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199658216470226,0.07992016679595307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745302250379755,0.0,0.0,0.09604119523922583,0.0,0.0,0.0883010370398685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757852110327804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288055780008803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274466004714111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469931050128837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735827362515278,0.0,0.2001391653620228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352896463233858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Straight_Homo,2019/03/14,"Every day is getting darker in my life Everyday I have been feeling more and more sad. I recently moved from a small town in a rural area to a town that in comparison is massive.. I have made some ""friends"" but I feel like they are only my friends because I walk up to them and begin every conversation. My old friends and I are slowly separating and my gf is drifting from me too. I always find myself after my day wanting to cry but I never do. I sit in my bed and I contemplate my decisions. I always seem to lose sleep over the most basic of things and I always seem to be craving sleep and comfort foods. I am scared of what is happening because I used to be in a similar situation and when that happened I attempted to .... .. .... Three times. I can't find a therapist and people I message leave me on read or avoid the topic I need to discuss.. When I go to my classes I see the people who I think are my friends and I want to embrace them and cry but I cant because I feel like if I did they would never talk to me again. 


This is my first time doing this so please don't hate me",1.246703030303031,3.2315285733333354,3.4501919191919237,88.5423181818182,81.04444444444444,6.224242424242424,24.0050505050505,7.348242739294969,1.052511111111111,839,31,179,12,22,287,120,225,0.094,0.752,0.154,0.9337,0,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,4,3,5,12,1,2,8,0,21,4,2,2,2,36,39,19,0,5,5,0,3,2,5,1,1,0,1,0,7,11,1,1,9,1,0,4,5,5,0,2,3,4,44,7,24,33,4,32,0,2,1,0,14,12,0,6,17,133,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869870726126185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21024977522670832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525732961160785,0.14828934388581466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19373053460156275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174393409308778,0.16426593222194,0.0,0.0,0.21015683668988455,0.0977914886291749,0.13901943009752393,0.0,0.3552951183083627,0.0,0.06006589148668215,0.0,0.06533880786744109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20333116005011567,0.0,0.0,0.11350682714774896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173422133785344,0.0,0.0,0.08120510456188126,0.1123348469279737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286194772952076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878524172721296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221924977765464,0.0,0.08524711175121948,0.17734039497309015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063928832107465,0.0,0.0,0.0874381359317275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15940829023189315,0.0,0.0,0.12620003850372488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499883745827474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351675917973245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510274956641828,0.0,0.0916143923488974,0.20932459892618893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922854048716192,0.2301015077508538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924067029042613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334863905106441,0.07637944832529209,0.07366667634489676,0.0,0.0,0.13407721063879358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929520185272488,0.0,0.0,0.1356218864914829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166977365190488,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cappie-Floorson,2019/03/14,"I’ve been having extreme panic attacks to the point that I black out during them. So as the title says, I’ve been experiencing extreme panic attacks, always right after I initially fall asleep, night terrors if you prefer. 

The thing is, i haven’t had any issues like this in about 4 years. I will have flashes of things that I remember from the night, and most of the time, that memory will be accompanied by the extreme fear that I felt in the moment. I don’t know what causes this or how I can fix it. Any help?",5.72529411764706,5.747589372549019,6.426274509803921,79.26823529411767,67.0392156862745,8.760784313725491,27.784313725490197,8.344100000000001,1.7820078431372548,404,11,79,5,6,133,70,102,0.182,0.769,0.049,-0.9325,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,0,3,7,2,4,7,0,12,1,1,2,0,11,14,6,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,10,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,4,4,10,1,11,7,1,12,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,3,7,56,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688543730830154,0.0,0.0,0.25643559107470665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.428996756126168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193688754946655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121667516773945,0.0,0.0,0.18103379858496407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637845872286094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19679311498301585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361999111969264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921140877086394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538754351390105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4424363855902279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823698298566698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21358594647672768,0.16101731661721833,0.0,0.14993940537572575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505232666292592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994273173693214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141748964319267
mentalhealth,therealfanofmadrid,2019/03/14,"Mood swings So guys, I texted my ex gf today. We aren't on good terms and we never had a word after we ended. I regret texting her now. The other issue here is I'm dealing with terrible mood swings. I don't know how do I beat it. Sometimes I feel like being alone and single. Sometimes I wish to date someone. I am also trying to keep my sexual desires at bay. A word of advise would be helpful. Thank you guys!",-0.10486257928118192,2.156551093023257,2.414904862579281,91.67396405919662,90.3953488372093,4.057505285412264,17.120507399577168,5.565023196281405,-0.3827999999999996,318,8,65,2,11,109,66,86,0.118,0.758,0.124,0.1245,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,3,1,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,1,1,17,15,5,0,4,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,14,3,7,11,2,9,0,1,0,0,12,2,0,0,8,44,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255805076085452,0.0,0.1741787451695492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22454760439362906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929107651949485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012885686120072,0.15560008324177385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826846737473816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4313227959921885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459902389666091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22733204830703355,0.0,0.19359527532907325,0.0,0.0,0.1197000455469662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640862226580436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798480273231173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18454564489842687,0.0,0.4308298375364072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005257713488186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645386873121954,0.0,0.0,0.14787543829302918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504652387800279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547225697584532,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rubix44,2019/03/14,"I'm incredibly thin skinned I can't take it. I'm just so sensitive to everything. Someone I don't even know (online) was rude to me last night and I couldn't sleep all night, was crying, and it ruined today for me as well. Still thinking about it. I feel awful, just because some random internet person decided to post a mean comment to me. It wasn't even that mean of a comment. There's a lot more to it, but that's the gist of it. I've become uber sensitive to all adversity in life and I can't handle any of it :( - What do I do? I thought I would be much better at dealing with these kinds of things by now (I'm 32), instead it seems like I'm getting worse if anything. I can't deal with anything slightly bad or negative. Don't know if anyone has advice or if anyone can relate.",0.8837123385939734,2.966546603658536,3.0662553802008645,90.26152797704452,82.96341463414635,5.810043041606886,22.4519368723099,7.048011613610866,0.7306711621233863,609,21,131,8,17,207,98,164,0.175,0.772,0.053,-0.9644,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,11,8,1,0,4,1,15,3,2,0,2,29,29,11,0,5,8,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,13,5,0,0,9,0,0,0,8,4,1,0,4,3,12,4,18,22,6,10,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,9,7,88,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245962315224748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609803493582198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181837412049096,0.0,0.2567801174441706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026905931932875,0.09510752346260803,0.1723103457556301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798582088229644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713791655221947,0.0,0.32169676336387965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20609769925025606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021950621732376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888771937888782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151330736566317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246941950937244,0.17148754417110376,0.12717602667206285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110200589452353,0.07622283361552118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264148048621452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399001056300758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469166254338325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928258758697027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622947089171686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494227431450296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203352309561385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561313289652626,0.0,0.13219409936935447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12459669874898617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173066111665772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365186120878173,0.09997045382802304,0.0,0.12386138394955838,0.0,0.0,0.14788744136044982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027950717616336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589963376346677,0.11083117552076782,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,obvi-a-throw-away,2019/03/14,"Is it genetic that I hurt myself?? I wrote this on a mobile, so please excuse the formatting.

I started hurting myself two years ago. I’ve never broken skin, but I left so, so many bruises on my arms and thighs.  I hurt myself when I feel like I deserve to be punished. These aren’t conscious thoughts (the conscious thoughts I have during these moments are more self hatred then anything else), but I’ve thought about the situations that caused me to hurt myself, and every single time it’s been because I’m angry at myself, wether it be because I can’t figure something out or I am wrong about something.

These responses get especially bad when I am stressed out and I realize I’m arguing about something I am wrong about. I loose the ability to even think straight and all I want to do is inflict the most amount of damage to myself. Last time it happened I started screaming, cursing and shouting about how I was going to kill myself (I don’t generally have that kind of desire). The whole time I was trying to fight off the impulse to slam my face into a wall, and as my mom ran up the stairs, I started to punch myself in the face. My mom grabbed my arms and stopped me, but I couldn’t even control myself as she yelled at me to stop. I remember thinking “you’re so pathetic. Your mom is screaming at you and thinks you’re a fucking fool. Kill yourself.” And then I was slamming my head into a wall. My mom grabbed me in a bear hug and I finally snapped out of it. 

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. I think I almost gave myself a concussion. Writing it out just makes it so clear that I should probably seek help, but my family can’t afford that, and I don’t even know if what’s wrong with me can be fixed. And here’s the explanation of the title. My mom knew how to deal with my freak out because she has the exact same issue as me. But unlike my punching, she bites herself. I found this out after I ran out I the house one night, scared that if I stayed in my room, I would hurt myself. She found me and I confessed to what was going on. She has been having the exact same issue for decades. I take after my mom A LOT personality wise, but having the same unhealthy mental problems is a bit weird. Could it be genetic? What could be causing this? I was bullied in elementary school, but I don’t think that would cause something like this. Does anyone have the same problem? How do you deal with it? I at least have my mom, but I still feel so confused.
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mentalhealth,HeDreamsHesAwake,2019/03/14,"I feel lost inside my head. I am 26. I was diagnosed with bipolar back when I was 19, because of self-harm and depression, but that didn't seem accurate to me, and the medication didn't seem to help, so I stopped taking it after a few months. I entered into a relationship about a year later, and have been with him since. I started smoking marijuana recreationaly around this time.  My depression significantly improved, and I felt more confident. I used to have panic attacks as a teenager, but those went away. But recently I have come to realize a big problem, one that has been there all my life. I can't focus. On anything. I am easily distracted to a degree that recently has to frighten me. It's difficult to describe, but everything seems like a dream, or a movie. Everything, even the most mundane things, seem caught in some strange light that makes them interesting. A person walking down the street, the way my living room looks in the dark, the rain falling outside, a picture on Tumblr, my keys on my table, everything I see is like a perfect snapshot that sends my mind wandering. When I was young, my family often poked fun at the fact that I was very oblivious. They still tell stories of how I would sit 'watching' the TV after it had been turned off, or walk right into things I could clearly see coming, but I was so completely in my head I didn't react. I was always told I was very creative, I just had to apply myself, but I never finished anything. Never handed in homework and assignments. Now I'm noticing this daydreaming affects my life. I used to constantly leave my keys in the door to our building. I try to type out some work, and by 20 minutes I'll have completely zoned out, just sitting in front of the computer  staring into space. I'll be given a small list of items to grab from the corner store 2 minutes from my home, and forget part of it by the time I arrive. I'll go to make pasta, walk out of the room for a minute, and then 15 minutes later I realize I've boiled all the water off and ruined my food. I have left the stove on for hours on multiple occasions. Sometimes, I'll sort of get in the zone with something, usually video games or cleaning, and this is where I'm happiest. I'm completely in my task, I'm not thinking about anything but what I'm doing. It's the most relieving feeling, but it seems to come and go. And sometimes it can be to my detriment, I'll be super into tidying up, or a video game or TV show, and go the whole day barely eating a thing. I forget to call people, make appointments, keep appointments, miss my bus, even though I have the schedule memorized at this point. I feel like I'm dreaming my life away; in a world that lives in my head, within cities of emotion and abstract fantasy. In the back alleys of my mind, I am lost.",6.060202239488118,6.116708321755028,6.630127399451556,77.97369201325412,66.33089579524679,9.762545703839123,32.99868601462523,9.516144504307137,2.9561280164533827,2200,87,419,40,32,721,275,547,0.099,0.79,0.111,0.9269,0,0,1,0,0,0,74.0,1,0,2,5,20,19,1,2,36,0,36,15,4,8,7,88,78,35,0,3,16,0,6,3,0,1,6,0,7,1,23,28,5,3,13,10,1,15,7,11,0,1,22,12,58,8,72,51,11,91,0,6,5,0,13,45,0,16,31,285,81,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417280602996431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039783894567489,0.0686561332493528,0.0,0.08773894534350046,0.1449198535121183,0.1186061923416849,0.0,0.04701367877179393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875156400261903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19930481305652592,0.2425870977209713,0.08334294356655964,0.0,0.06157671997353981,0.0,0.0,0.04973818096507167,0.0,0.13285245794716008,0.07827857755691618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891644166215045,0.0,0.08675338905175181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187849157871064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079404840806076,0.0,0.07270503126556599,0.0,0.11698765027910504,0.055096937171306884,0.07405051125701767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932578618349828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04029376760738025,0.0,0.1314929325840943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374524238078403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516941563036894,0.0,0.07736100903559189,0.0,0.07595096515284543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855077773251586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166249269005565,0.08379474622775107,0.0,0.1634235102866129,0.11303572054690975,0.0,0.1362026633193089,0.0,0.0647641906007654,0.0,0.16837849557430298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544413064542218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769366207221293,0.0,0.0,0.15574519768223005,0.0,0.0615591227528005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896456517308285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780544597594621,0.0,0.0,0.05226077842248296,0.0,0.0,0.09048763492715144,0.0,0.0835170732246545,0.0,0.05346762066053638,0.06734113507090367,0.0,0.0,0.07290649490958212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379663091234376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230000923053785,0.08280161607546566,0.0,0.0658629201283766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291465067546055,0.3510510097694144,0.08045647478893256,0.0,0.0,0.06379723269436444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059373323297768836,0.15255393182138746,0.0,0.054588304598224134,0.0,0.06159080751707111,0.06447857456511538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798716162934733,0.0,0.06740920788708613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371198185653828,0.04941752904320918,0.0757733005153389,0.0,0.08994249204014827,0.0,0.0,0.07369466667086197,0.0,0.05236169263579897,0.08388805906630105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321962561293907,0.08494047492389828,0.12726968272547212,0.0,0.06121692601278673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149411879226471,0.0,0.08610546685612766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614671786593135,0.0,0.0,0.054786215581380936,0.0,0.0,0.04966490928158
mentalhealth,stolas-mins,2019/03/14,"Just a rant I need to get off my mind So I’m a senior in high school currently in a college preparation program. This program requires me to complete research paper for almost all my classes(6/8 classes) along with paperwork to go with them. Because of this I haven’t been applying for scholarships for college. I’ve been to busy to even think about it. It’s not a priority for me right now. But that’s where I contradict myself due to the fact I know it’s my depression and OCD causing me not to work on them. I have a routine and I don’t like adding in something new. Cause if I do then the rest of my schedule is fucked. My parents although try to support me they aren’t being helpful. They constantly tell me I don’t have a right to be stressed over not applying for them. That I’m idiot for not doing it and im going to end up like my siblings. 
 They have no idea how fucking terrible it is to hear that and I can’t even tell them why I haven’t cause they hit me with the “ well why don’t you tell your teachers”. Like ? What are they suppose to do ?  Because of all this stress I’ve gone back into more old habits that aren’t healthy but they provide comfort ( ex. I’m eating more things that aren’t food like paper and erasers. Along with scratching my skin ) 
I don’t even know what to do at this point anymore cause what’s the point of going on if my parents are going to continue telling me these things and not understand how depression / OCD affects me.  ",2.3595252299279146,4.327555718120808,3.325853840417597,90.87603156848124,77.38926174496645,6.294009445687298,26.80884911757395,7.2427474758485975,1.2695536664180949,1156,47,242,14,27,369,142,298,0.083,0.851,0.066,-0.6890000000000001,6,0,1,0,1,0,23.0,0,2,10,2,12,15,3,2,10,0,25,5,1,7,3,42,44,15,0,3,10,3,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,20,13,2,1,5,0,1,5,16,8,1,0,3,3,40,7,41,38,5,33,0,2,0,2,21,16,2,3,16,170,60,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204856684932663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106775462159844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836282407539794,0.0,0.12424729488382873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41876030424718297,0.0,0.0,0.106851138693252,0.11012896199917503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555059452724042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042798038202269,0.0,0.0,0.09026238540557932,0.0,0.0,0.20193261806222484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323048698114387,0.0,0.0,0.1884290862227853,0.053243989373771866,0.0,0.2316721657288845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486045238251776,0.0,0.06830840778501952,0.107673956267778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150444620237147,0.11008074383401548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120146056474051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19915313826528214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290047497183898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556528671905319,0.0,0.09842572075272626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693784486410034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263189270157616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19267657857508186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17406188736734354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313878794961258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845562186080865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334760884979355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564673935823848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562968033574505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540951226564552,0.06530008354872135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919048706139222,0.0,0.0,0.1060923435181476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162970845901254,0.0,0.18391660966935688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419200106962101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,psychological-cafe,2019/03/14,"I have it all but i’m in emotional turmoil. So I don’t want to come off as an asshole when i say I have it all but let me explain myself. I’m in high school. I am athletic, I’m actually captain of my team. I get very good grades. I have a lot of “friends” (I’ll get to that soon) but I am an emotional tornado. 

I used to have to deal with panic disorder and depression but I got over it and no longer have to take medication. Every now and then I have extreme anxiety but I could deal with it. Now 4 years or so later   I’m actually a mess. 

I seem like I “have it all” based on my outside appearance but on the inside i’m really hurting. I have a hard time figuring out who my real friends are because it’s high school. But i’ve realized over the past months I haven’t been going out with them at all and don’t have the desire to. I also have an extremely rocky relationship with a boy and sometimes I just feel like I’m a burden to him. Some aspect between us just don’t work out. He’s my best friend but recently anytime I try to say something is wrong with me he doesn’t even seem to care enough. I don’t want to sound like I want attention but it doesn’t seem like he cares to talk about anything anymore. 

Lastly I have horrible anxiety regarding the further. Although I’m a hardworking student I fear that I’m not going to get anywhere in life. I feel like college is impossible to get in and I’m terrified that I’ll never find somewhere to go.  

I know this is a mess and I know I sound stuck up but i’m just so lost right now. I want to talk to my parents because they know something is wrong. It’s so hard to admit that something IS wrong because I don’t want to put them through what they had to deal with when I had panic disorder. I’m really really lost and scared. ",0.8635254803675849,2.8464876666666683,3.2111668059036482,89.7574686716792,82.38624338624341,6.836090225563911,23.703982177666393,7.94452939551167,1.2728296296296298,1390,52,310,27,38,478,164,378,0.214,0.63,0.156,-0.983,1,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,4,5,16,27,0,5,14,0,32,2,0,1,5,64,75,29,0,7,15,1,4,5,3,0,2,4,0,1,15,18,0,0,14,1,0,6,11,15,0,0,7,8,44,12,45,66,8,39,0,4,0,0,27,18,0,7,20,197,59,8,0.0,0.0,0.15778176168226765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464993316715277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368899402782188,0.0,0.08017430375482502,0.0,0.0,0.06652671064236773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784300489351054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483949847027981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16484918178136104,0.0,0.0,0.06963888719149712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454637281604785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25003603515620537,0.0696297584855977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853056343419704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18187446798713,0.0,0.08353219101849732,0.0,0.05339588648276312,0.0,0.06811351960837403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097059076044203,0.08175306612665027,0.11550818066339755,0.0,0.0,0.07388882628208493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18737676838678133,0.0,0.16894804057551344,0.0,0.13783442594694106,0.06780707908381525,0.0646573475023364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483848378421396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708296480636714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865438562518355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332872148754475,0.06589764668129243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266720857476102,0.0571016385543092,0.197478467053962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649886441197934,0.06872963124491306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144058468382248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645279269363249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235092725676571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897031417639699,0.08976632788550208,0.0,0.07717357056709813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126931177459107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201676986441744,0.1553698437697426,0.0,0.07982248145001927,0.08679487935172378,0.0,0.06903928301453165,0.0,0.1285788294109276,0.08093771491101594,0.1636343964489264,0.0,0.22078866198553795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18671013960563287,0.07995556569210326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078370128647038,0.12995671091621142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047140068728266926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054886933496975904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724389720772704,0.06982219599324306,0.0,0.06670375097040274,0.23841579862103424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058854498669775865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651666309957573,0.0,0.052060092706165226
mentalhealth,korphd,2019/03/14,"""sound induced anxiety"" I've been getting stressed and anxious by the loud sound of people talking on my room recently
And as hours passed, EVERY sound started to make me feel bad in the same way they did

When i got home, i had a fight with my bf via text because i was so damn stressed...guilty almost killed me later on when i calmed down

Is there anyone who had/has something similar to this??
If so, what's the name of this ""condition""? ",4.443448275862072,5.407759954022993,4.57764367816092,88.06922413793106,70.14942528735632,7.639080459770115,29.44252873563219,7.793537801064563,1.7084804597701155,344,13,71,4,6,107,68,87,0.22,0.752,0.028,-0.9504,0,0,1,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,5,6,3,1,4,0,5,0,0,2,0,10,10,8,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,5,5,9,1,11,5,1,13,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,2,6,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25783606165933404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969768693868071,0.29088704753358224,0.0,0.18004091478332698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499091067274886,0.15696170055955916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169439239251396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019317648244416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452634320121626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059358958162495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258280480329376,0.0,0.2535728528583628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848712433362033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187458863737048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17850908252655714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25423737376624794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198226091557878,0.0,0.0,0.1822506416056307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949505172317422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20695831729639308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043812154466097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iwannabeataco,2019/03/14,"I wish I knew what was wrong with me. Yesterday was not any different than any other day. I did become frustrated towards the end of it though when I was trying to pick up a prescription for a recent procedure I had just had. 

I had been trying to get this prescription since Saturday, but every time the system kept saying something regarding the insurance it had on file for me wouldn’t allow me to use the discount card, so instead of owing $30 for the medicine, I had to pay $300. I couldn’t afford that. They just kept sending my in circles all week. I became so frustrated that I wanted to yell at the pharmacist, so I just walked away from her mid-sentence so that I wouldn’t be mean to her when she’s just doing her job. 

As soon as I got to my car I just lost it. I had to scream. That wasn’t enough. I bit myself. I bit down so hard that it hurts to even run my finger along it. I started scratching myself and sleeping and punching myself in the face. I drove home, somewhat okay and then my mother kept asking me questions and it just made me more angry and hurt myself some more. Finally I just jumped in the shower and started cutting myself. I never cut myself but I didn’t know what else to do. 

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I feel like I just threw the biggest tantrum for no god damn reason. I’m in my 20s. I should not be acting like a child. 

My father has severe anger problems and became physically violent towards my mom and brothers during his episodes. I’ve never once wanted to hurt anyone nor have I ever hurt anyone during my episodes, but I do hurt myself because I don’t know what else to do. I feel better. But I know that’s not healthy and I don’t want to keep doing it, but I also don’t know how else to stop. 

Please tell me that there is something wrong with me and that I can fix this and this is not just me being childish. I need to know that there is hope for me to get better. ",2.274263600176912,3.9447783082706778,3.5962885154061652,90.18081932773113,76.69423558897243,6.097626418988647,22.010983340704694,6.794906146795322,0.4844845348665778,1511,41,319,14,34,494,188,399,0.229,0.695,0.076,-0.9973,4,0,2,0,0,6,36.0,0,0,1,3,25,26,9,0,13,1,36,3,3,6,4,72,69,30,0,11,18,4,5,2,0,3,0,3,2,1,24,15,0,5,12,0,3,8,17,20,0,0,22,8,66,6,42,40,8,39,1,6,0,0,16,12,2,4,20,237,90,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297029646446343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410235406376115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276042290431981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530374859036258,0.0,0.08572968180182282,0.0,0.0,0.05562340319509053,0.10077528556843407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140134178047594,0.19923646514738316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058846849816619674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533382932677237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286758042699463,0.0,0.08081787312085226,0.09428267662994064,0.0,0.06026786843779279,0.0825382525955607,0.07687964202856096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227458065140763,0.06518696752003253,0.0,0.09995677020169216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534571811552232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297866501505476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173950523561642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152831068704674,0.09062898822922172,0.0,0.0,0.48840969653801003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054869632845833,0.08110464121859799,0.0,0.0,0.30088221620391764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915747676965471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960702069470116,0.0,0.0,0.08634024016068703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993948739972643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686753521000064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765859030824788,0.14075082289712326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717521489338993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016194715108906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731117970158259,0.0,0.0,0.10221766788457363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938172462753786,0.09009553220847608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256337974016706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308328382980506,0.0,0.07548056841317967,0.0,0.09131302704811248,0.0,0.0,0.14049299638324134,0.0,0.0,0.12917037575987905,0.0,0.0,0.07628668600662387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975401303023781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964984140990316,0.0,0.05320693497954796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390162257227305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880822286782267,0.0,0.0,0.1614597632657216,0.0,0.07319294331279677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492969569869452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29929323555858434,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MortTheBish,2019/03/14,"I can't hold onto grudges and it's killing me I'm a fifteen your old guy who suffers from depression, so my memory is really terrible. And most of the time when I do wake up in the morning after getting into an argument with a friend I tend to forget what happened. I have a friend I get into arguments with over the stupidest shit because they can't listen, whilst it can be the same with me. But I'm not making this post for that, its mainly the fact I forgive them so easily. I want to stop being friends with that person, since I have other friends I talk to and rarely get in arguments. 

​

But for some god forsaken reason I can't hold grudges at all, and I tend to talk to him either way, even after an argument. It's just impossible for me to hold grudges, I don't think I've ever held one against anyone except my dad, and even that disappears every now and then when he calls. Does anyone know what this can mean?",6.336666666666666,5.499818671957673,6.952428571428572,78.88007142857144,65.98412698412699,10.311322751322752,32.127513227513234,9.642632912329526,2.7537043386243387,735,25,149,13,10,243,115,189,0.189,0.7070000000000001,0.104,-0.9547,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,2,0,9,10,2,0,10,0,12,2,2,2,3,37,27,13,1,1,6,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,13,12,0,5,5,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,1,1,21,5,27,24,6,22,0,2,0,0,18,8,1,2,11,109,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991522887336788,0.19055438933319413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21930544451598544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559648026290432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013153045079082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506949153746692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723490462551272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20715726707312615,0.14185335635635032,0.13212825464895608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4846373233205299,0.0,0.2457971250342552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527720857683006,0.13867608092045505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17349893696344687,0.0,0.08618458895174617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467907560757213,0.0,0.0,0.17082378215851407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455700843172308,0.0,0.1062658061122894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369298395246932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019093964221225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046339503233866,0.16123786062546885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097425744845129,0.12972375392486246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110917804824782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520931746297092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004844114146396,0.0,0.0,0.09144344677693024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249694784135452,0.12447702056551355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19055438933319413,0.0
mentalhealth,P4ND4Music,2019/03/14,"Hello I want to help Hello, my name is not really important. But I want to help out some people as much as I can. I have posted on hearing and I see how many people feel so alone and I want to help even if I can't see you I want to help. Msg me on Kik (just send me your user name and all msg you) or on hear I don't mind just sitting and shooting the breeze to make you forget the pain I can listen to you rant and le tout your emotions, just don't hold it anymore it not worth it if you are working so hard to get better. I don't want to share hour story or tell you what to do. I just want to help out.",-0.3540468227424753,1.096707028985513,2.060144927536232,99.19951505016724,83.78260869565217,4.825863991081382,15.687848383500555,5.369823440869387,-1.0052526198439242,462,7,120,2,13,158,72,138,0.131,0.701,0.168,0.5031,0,1,0,1,0,0,10.0,0,8,0,2,8,3,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,2,1,34,24,15,0,8,11,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,1,1,6,1,0,0,0,7,23,2,17,24,3,9,0,0,2,0,23,5,0,5,1,79,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118825638686442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14477006294013098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910488666742884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420459514196314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641650110854244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381041040840704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626701237881632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076681325300496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32905361325194604,0.0,0.4892268820754084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375804357481178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744085111719436,0.14799787245570944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739526265342592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730996851475956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532993186940092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024042887484211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980571478957252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351667141934404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23264970592837345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759042396990822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5166064719864042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627307101772662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Excellent_Stretch,2019/03/14,"I think I'm going crazy? A few minutes ago, when I went to the bathroom, I turned the lights on in the hallway but when I come out of the bathroom, they're off. Just now, as I'm looking at myself in the mirror, I heard a young kid male voice say ""I don't know what just happened, FUCK!"". I can't tell if I'm losing my mind... I've noticed my anxiety and OCD getting worse lately, but it hasn't been to the extent where I'm hearing voices and not remembering stuff? Do I need professional help?",4.491570512820509,4.0328455288461535,5.693076923076927,85.11858974358975,69.67307692307692,8.087179487179487,28.871794871794872,7.1686216300943375,1.405248717948718,381,12,85,3,6,128,72,104,0.125,0.838,0.037000000000000005,-0.8216,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,6,2,1,0,8,0,5,1,0,0,0,15,22,8,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,3,7,11,0,10,19,2,16,0,1,1,1,7,7,1,1,6,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19849370389960452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130002914197795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928893269620271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207012657867222,0.11699021607191565,0.0,0.1272602647042731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980138457920876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523768278897618,0.0,0.15009046993451902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306189930572435,0.0,0.2525942294863308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803842633763787,0.2505118973079666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260977988773379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603562814835007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549371455434553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536604370876234,0.0,0.0,0.17807208635053667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563375840803712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957180542854582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348043739266236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24356327885860501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207578315507192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281960638780135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,suicidalhoney,2019/03/14,"I feel like people with mental illnesses should have their own make-a-wish foundation type of thing Like I'm not saying that mental illnesses is just as fatal as cancer or anything, but maybe it can helped. So instead of doing a whole foundation, just make a centre that provides FREE service of like music rooms with instruments, instructors, lesson; art rooms with supplies, medium and whatever; and any other form of art and creations.
Because it's bad enough that people don't get us, and we're not even able to afford our own therapy/treatments.",11.982399999999998,9.122243240000008,10.444000000000004,64.71200000000002,56.6,13.2,41.0,11.20814326018867,4.6392000000000015,444,16,70,8,4,138,73,100,0.127,0.73,0.14300000000000002,0.4214,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,1,1,5,6,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,1,0,17,10,9,1,1,6,0,1,3,0,1,3,1,2,0,7,7,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,4,5,10,9,5,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,3,47,11,2,0.21216808287181732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428157190640886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459625431124945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17715148693122545,0.12933569404571207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21922634571012906,0.0,0.1401350177319892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727855763758992,0.1515729207968138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084906638584033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221179363773648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109638248020446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832476856582039,0.0,0.21315135657333456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4276310501382584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941812684206358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872457530296206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095504667239275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25521208012777585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368780875673301,0.2439828244884134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jessdudzlmt,2019/03/14,"Just need to get this off my chest This is my first post. I finally admitted to my doctor that i'm struggling and need help, but it's turning into more trouble. She prescribed a medication that my insurance won't cover and i'm still waiting to see if my insurance will cover a different medication. All of this is making me feel like even more of a burden. 

I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 many years ago. Since then I've also been diagnosed with general anxiety. I've discussed with various doctors that I think I have PTSD and OCD. In addition I have psychosis symptoms that I didn't know weren't normal. I thought everyone heard voices and saw things that weren't actually there. Made for an interesting childhood especially because my parents refused to acknowledge that I was having problems. 

I don't really know why I wanted to post this. I just need to get so many things off my chest. My husband does a great job helping, but I don't want to be a burden on him and I don't have anyone else to talk to. ",4.398358458961475,5.931607864321606,5.712643216080406,77.735162479062,70.85929648241206,9.1257621440536,31.3571189279732,9.558583805096642,3.0721816415410386,811,36,150,19,15,272,117,199,0.123,0.784,0.093,-0.7057,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,1,6,0,18,10,2,2,1,35,40,11,0,8,5,2,1,1,0,2,8,2,0,0,13,10,0,2,7,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,10,5,24,3,20,27,4,14,0,0,2,0,11,5,0,1,8,102,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.12523831475417296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376293041195056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263098335951801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09817738755432016,0.0,0.0,0.08973615390143316,0.13149633403606145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823299128975347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26051853146444764,0.0,0.13408475948840382,0.0,0.2627165381368744,0.11230849785150557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720902339663088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476532099283714,0.0,0.0,0.12263142060735267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648909995586569,0.09168391664770102,0.0,0.14058681568104914,0.0,0.1091633130626017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341014807865139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141491900203431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204305578673484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735458393865512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410612227192913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269893338845935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143549061094548,0.0856658863140641,0.2602269740289029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585718772473994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854805856285331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574292672371634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425029547925786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458225750679349,0.0,0.0,0.12280109394124412,0.15001898411665726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221591304291842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226790422371228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616162104470307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024900249010666,0.0,0.0,0.13416560692207793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339119245358122,0.0,0.10315234975583798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705226854803226,0.08223311215369082,0.0,0.1018851739470674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959370901614376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513928733547626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580410290426765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264476460334623
mentalhealth,wathurtbottle,2019/03/14,"I’m not close with anyone anymore Basically everyone I’ve ever felt close to in life has left me and I feel so alone. I actually have a lot of friends, but I don’t feel close with any of them and I have no desire to get closer with any of them. Some ppl want to get close with me or even consider me close but I want nothing to do with it. Still I feel extremely lonely and depressed. I’m a maladaptive daydreamer so to help cope with this I’ll pace for hours on end pretending to have good fun relationships with people who never existed in the first place or ppl from the past. I really want to start fresh and move to a new country leaving everyone behind as insane as that sounds, but I think it’d be really helpful for me. However I don’t exactly have the money to up and leave. I’m scaring myself lately I keep having scary thoughts and a majority of my daydreams lately have been me dying in various ways, I impulsively tried to choke myself once and caught myself wrapping the wire for my game controller around my neck. I even learned how to tie my judo belt like a noose. I think killing myself would be a waste though, I know well life is a precious gift. I really have nobody to talk about my feelings to though which is why I came here, I do have many friends but they all see me as a really crazy weird happy person and I just don’t even want them to know me, which is why I came to here to express how I feel. Even my relationship with god has drifted a bit, every night I used to have a long prayer to god but now before I sleep I just pray the same sentence over and over again begging for someone. It’s kind of pathetic. ",4.376890094979647,4.9681722208955215,5.3540094979647215,83.79842265943012,70.07462686567165,8.717774762550881,27.16757123473541,8.841846274778883,1.8353582089552245,1294,40,272,22,22,426,175,335,0.139,0.6829999999999999,0.177,0.8505,1,3,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,4,2,21,14,1,1,15,0,24,4,2,4,4,65,51,25,2,6,10,0,6,1,2,1,2,1,0,1,8,25,0,2,12,2,1,5,6,5,1,1,6,8,44,9,49,41,7,37,1,2,1,0,15,16,0,4,16,183,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0936748150174796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941926118122987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055635850149708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519874785670496,0.06712017511251879,0.0,0.0,0.08545366026467999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168253171167482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479892813712692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21957965265856735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107663730587243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267818379395347,0.0,0.09962504070395753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502084667204188,0.0,0.0,0.2536085152371225,0.08683069533408462,0.08087780591970642,0.18344985978568887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242683414891368,0.0,0.09216783602421566,0.0,0.0,0.08165115586157874,0.0,0.0,0.14832710642058536,0.0,0.10030421944677456,0.0,0.0,0.08051393928333676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218578169921842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868347404305303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453325822142747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532252828685515,0.1062014584865774,0.09996139792705114,0.10550991499930593,0.0,0.21656740089967244,0.20328435571395104,0.1042961121929892,0.0,0.13560465726175355,0.04689707777117392,0.0,0.0,0.08495032556120309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816093751830682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732130978672293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202481648379202,0.0,0.0,0.07403531960439844,0.09271013695352097,0.0,0.09008244132816652,0.0,0.0921073750836004,0.0,0.0,0.10222886011141416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163568551945994,0.06654910020190123,0.08381693238223806,0.10029171237567264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459809671155595,0.0,0.0,0.20612000223726576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610522016473347,0.0,0.07649357969392805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606180628149293,0.0,0.08133411820250815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794397258901101,0.0,0.07665971985162312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715512062712836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12301621248144387,0.1886242516995322,0.07620730797319566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517259393464807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290668356146659,0.0,0.0,0.2264754110482722,0.07619436385887694,0.0,0.0,0.08630876924526812,0.0,0.1732365680441415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819030481188622,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PokemonGoToThePoll,2019/03/14,"Anxiety... reversed?? Hey, I'm not really sure where to post this, but this seemed like a good spot. Basically for the past 2 years I've had anxiety and over the years I've learned to cope with it and everything seemed fine. Until, Wednesday of last week, I had a pretty large panic attack and I felt like i was about to die. Right after that happened (20 minutes or so) I felt so much relief, almost like I made it over a big wave of my life, which I thought was my anxiety. After that night I started not caring about anything that happened to me. This week was terrible, I felt no remorse for anything that happened, I can barely remember what I did. All I know is nothing effected me, sounds kinda like my anxiety just flip flopped on me. But then what scared me even more was what I thought today. I thought that my anxiety has gone away so now I'm just stuck on my severe depression. All these years, my anxiety was helping me ""cope"" with my depression, by giving me several distractions, such as being distracted and worried all the time. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that I was always worried because it gave me something else to focus on then my death provoking thoughts that my depression brings. I've lost interest in so much, all the video games I can't find joy in anymore. I also like to edit videos and clips as a hobby, and I have no motivation to do either. All I want to do is lay down and sleep all the time, If I didn't have to go to school, that's all I would do. I am seeing a therapist about this, and I've already emailed him what I think, still has not gotten back to me, maybe someone on this sub can point me in the right direction, thanks.",5.3531081081081116,5.464841510510514,5.892689189189191,82.47038513513516,67.82882882882883,9.422762762762764,31.06441441441441,9.255337874911486,2.483204324324324,1305,48,268,23,20,423,169,333,0.234,0.631,0.134,-0.9902,0,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,3,17,24,1,4,12,0,26,2,1,4,8,50,56,22,2,3,10,0,3,5,0,1,1,1,0,0,24,10,0,0,16,3,0,3,8,11,0,0,24,5,41,13,37,30,11,41,0,4,1,0,7,16,0,6,26,184,65,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755240455183147,0.0,0.09648546465091913,0.06992084506583231,0.07275199527505137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40132008947669295,0.0,0.08671091827130165,0.0,0.0,0.14390127258253158,0.0,0.0,0.09946866487477307,0.08214701171904353,0.06723125945906915,0.07300364062749698,0.05329888386478333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914467141645926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259200272854921,0.0,0.09074256706883288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303979041412764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774925545957025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857993674278209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518507189433252,0.0,0.07991298554335981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838745481388307,0.04969069092181007,0.07333539322813945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23195248333857665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05860508909954348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04805137579166401,0.07127028471773636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617571376607325,0.21357889517097944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544441230076567,0.0,0.0,0.08273205465407643,0.0,0.0,0.1756781758268197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854792932468762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820507767543691,0.0,0.08389516934697461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258482363381168,0.0,0.0,0.08346553517460951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265328105967236,0.0,0.08373749145907887,0.08895169259330048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056012384658562425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904554581669917,0.14933611759920126,0.0,0.0,0.0875365703726819,0.08848775799941211,0.06967348506624645,0.15919304754802946,0.0,0.19755080263518326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749702722987525,0.0,0.07408244577693099,0.06731087517049593,0.0,0.0,0.06188615277861921,0.0,0.06982481232589867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240540048466465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049737283696122,0.0,0.10151747773833744,0.058087187130968575,0.05602410213724402,0.0,0.2776509482366799,0.10196680121601427,0.0,0.0828770982059007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051570769836766964,0.0,0.14026837486616595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758670572238422,0.0,0.06211052225538453,0.0,0.0,0.16891366307259045
mentalhealth,niabydesign,2019/03/14,"Had a MASSIVE panic attack at work and now I want to quit. I’m usually just an observer on Reddit, but I felt the need to post because I’ve never been so mortified in my life. Hoping someone can empathize or that I can make someone feel better about themselves because they didn’t have to go through this. This is gonna be somewhat long, so buckle up.

So, some background. I’m a 24 y.o female. Type one diabetic. Anxiety. Depression. Hypochondria. No therapist and no meds (gonna work on that).  I was out sick from work two weeks ago (for 4 days :/) dealing with some complications with my diabetes. I felt extremely guilty for missing work, but family and coworkers convinced me my health was more important. Had vacation the week after, so was out another week. Cool. Now, this week rolls around, and guess what, I get sick. Feels like a cold, but hypochondria tells me it’s walking pneumonia because I had it once in college and my cold hadn’t gone away. Did I see a doctor? Of course not. Moving on. I tell myself I just need to make it through this work week and then I can recoup on the weekend. Well, today after lunch, I start feeling funny. I get up to walk and start to feel like I’m going to black out and faint. Try to talk myself down, but nope. I call my mom. All of a sudden, I can’t speak. The words aren’t coming out right. My speech is slow and slurred. First thought: stroke. So I go inside my office and ask the receptionist to call 911. At this point, I’m crying, snot is flying everywhere, and I still can’t speak right. The paramedics show up and proceed to whittle me down to a nub. They throw a slew of questions at me and check my blood pressure. At this point, my coworkers have grabbed their popcorn and gathered around for the show. The paramedics basically make me feel like a crazy person, saying they can’t do anything to help me because I’m just having a panic attack. Mind you, I told them I was also sick and my blood sugar was 350+, so clearly I was having other issues. Anyways... The paramedics leave and I regain my speech and start to feel a bit better, but I didn’t feel like I could drive, so I had to wait shamefully for 40 minutes while my mom drove to get me. With my coworkers still there.

I’m home now, and feel a lot better, but now I am plagued with the nagging thought of how to proceed when I have to return to work. I’ve been stressed about work, my diabetes, the recent passing of a relative and then to top it off, I get sick. My job itself is not stressful, but I feel that when I’m in that environment, it somehow exacerbates my stress and ultimately caused my attack today. So, maybe I should quit. I don’t know. 

Anyways, that has been my little story/rant. Please don’t say anything nasty, I already feel enough like a fool. :(",2.6597814207650288,4.7240647941712215,3.565788342440804,89.05423442622953,76.83242258652095,6.359213114754097,24.641202185792352,7.327094020958105,1.0635882404371584,2168,75,440,27,50,692,255,549,0.156,0.732,0.112,-0.9839,2,0,0,0,0,0,92.0,0,1,5,14,30,26,4,7,25,1,41,16,2,5,3,83,91,43,0,6,13,2,14,5,0,3,12,6,1,1,19,31,2,1,16,3,1,12,15,14,1,3,24,26,64,12,63,62,8,79,0,2,2,0,24,30,0,9,41,285,83,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767298510650224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717968473418289,0.05202955965819054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822252656072288,0.04977177530248292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707993931813962,0.11583683863538635,0.06082360482817852,0.2220501266117369,0.06112730535441758,0.0,0.0,0.1586432460961678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262450232408466,0.07103017290412893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286988037214684,0.0,0.0,0.06683595613098388,0.0,0.056044615333042766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05194621541942535,0.0,0.07146686755644142,0.041959205753281804,0.06707542282228239,0.05603726865030191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659307621706681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722579441403748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133407589459228,0.0,0.32896987072507106,0.1859194428336629,0.12493824975830367,0.0,0.0,0.05534117401545513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596753663349845,0.0,0.11092763961900703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167244181875651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691572013137033,0.0,0.0,0.04360926954912187,0.0,0.06526186588297994,0.0646206275471299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790717408198024,0.06456337750919325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03575603128161013,0.0,0.0,0.06889060409173689,0.0,0.0,0.0459547746485738,0.15892851205625827,0.06520859196259238,0.0,0.05757727125776425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531285608442847,0.0,0.0,0.13028692301531988,0.0,0.06536289801144153,0.0,0.07226852277796103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569344382762372,0.1523981967495599,0.0,0.06914994727687912,0.0,0.0964843732695102,0.05017934482719067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928824310115532,0.044087272837652174,0.0,0.0,0.15267101523887527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680908483733724,0.0,0.07141785435003764,0.12300806186740053,0.0,0.06231081451311553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288363220384565,0.13840156594505235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424026069649055,0.0,0.0,0.11112412088890863,0.0,0.10347883668061013,0.0,0.0,0.05184549392152238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025258715184022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815233246878386,0.0,0.1039161993855132,0.0,0.2235827625046917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05229387032864452,0.11373302233896515,0.0,0.0,0.07554127326926327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330293177829997,0.0,0.0,0.12334115588396308,0.06216893384045695,0.0,0.04417240422279331,0.0,0.06355551151346663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165591493215527,0.0,0.03837488582002367,0.0,0.26094156082443165,0.0,0.058497991454762886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315582011882845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beniduboss,2019/03/14,"I am 18 and remember nearly nothing of my past... (Long) Hey guys,

I am not too sure if this is the right subreddit but I'll give it a try nonetheless. 

I think it will make it easier for you to understand the situation if I give you a quick resume of who I am and what happened to me. I was born with Haemophilia A severe, Pai-1 and two other rare bleeding disorders as well as muscle tissue disorder. I spent most of my childhood in the hospital because my health was really bad, and even just walking would give me bad internal bleeding. I would be there 6 days a week from when I was 2-6 years old. Anyways, that lead me to having many surgeries, mainly to create places where we could inject my medicine. I had 39 full body anaesthesia but tbh I have no idea how many surgery I had.  

My memory was never really great, especially long term, but it got a lot worse in the last few months. The more time passes, the more I forget about my passed. At the beginning it was more from the times when I was like 10 so I thought it was no big deal, but recently it got a lot worse. I only remember partial stuff from about 3 months ago and I feel like that gap is getting closer of time. 

I don't know how to portray this to you, so I will be very stereotypical. In May last year I was in my first real relationship, it lasted six months.  Now, I am pretty confident most people remember where they met their first love, especially if it was less that a year ago... But I don't, I have no idea what our first date was or when we first met.  I am also confident that people remember their first time...  I don't. I actually don't remember much at all, except walking around town, and going on vacation with her for a week. That's all I remember of a 6 month relationship. 

That's just one example, there is an infinite amount of others. The truth is that I am forgetting things everyday and I don't know what to do. I am pretty sure that it's linked the the surgeries I had, because I had many very early in my life. (80% before the age of 5) My brain was in development at that period, so it could have interfered. 

It's also starting to affect my learning at school. I have troubles remember things I learned a month ago while before I could just hear it once and remember for ever. My grades are slowly dipping, I was an A average last year I am now a B+ and I feel like I am trying twice harder. 

Btw, I don't have any substance abuse, I drink from time to time but that's it. I consider myself a very happy guy, and I am definitely not stressed in my everyday life. 

I am not sure what to do, I mean I am definitely going to go see somebody but apart from that I am a bit clueless. ",3.72202965978482,4.608503616942915,5.216412232238056,83.11460962489096,71.76243093922652,8.957041775709994,26.62833187942231,9.276330184999452,2.0388040515653767,2076,67,439,44,38,701,241,543,0.11,0.782,0.108,-0.0408,0,0,1,0,1,0,68.0,3,3,3,6,28,15,0,1,28,0,58,9,2,5,8,80,85,34,0,8,18,0,2,3,0,5,5,1,0,2,37,15,1,0,21,1,1,8,13,4,1,10,22,4,73,11,47,53,17,87,0,0,1,1,24,23,0,9,59,321,110,5,0.0,0.0684681692380195,0.056391795593933224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367411955079371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242451795322423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039297155167751834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05144269931571308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649949578661472,0.07045286200430513,0.0,0.09834499552564303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630884590790961,0.06418835201398039,0.0,0.06450942557978845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841469977381227,0.0,0.0,0.03726784726724798,0.059575880149527936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324578625919972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660927980331675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03816778167500005,0.0522716679146375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843770718538615,0.0825661171981891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457680482472981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030191332852891512,0.16630372544075714,0.09852508542095413,0.0,0.09243511759844766,0.06371039350162784,0.0,0.11443647002683845,0.05110087089774324,0.06151535728267351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0614248999646003,0.065130171317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304690233279472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351646980742781,0.1884165359621692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163336231262651,0.08469545703820226,0.0,0.0,0.1022793884096071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825691575720633,0.0521550416612997,0.0,0.03857328454058315,0.17576090459541308,0.0,0.06294700557159211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23062524002116305,0.0,0.04248010872341838,0.0,0.044568912242673835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0554482041671384,0.0,0.060637756615084575,0.06154129028307069,0.03915798025835136,0.0439496326552728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055164249280439816,0.08012448713873674,0.0,0.0603751365081334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758034819685888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577427989246988,0.07403968940312437,0.0,0.057057710723176676,0.12408326647686492,0.523691429581748,0.049349799294891736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058483549291752784,0.046048773189926416,0.0,0.0,0.06528288412289092,0.0,0.0,0.06495503160568812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040901950149187495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619483611144153,0.0,0.0661523124200332,0.0,0.0,0.16339074726642525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678225663296473,0.037027589046741034,0.0,0.04587643896800293,0.20217645626456315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846718661367624,0.0,0.056449521709319724,0.06015832573728109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304103021664966,0.0,0.0,0.09270652349010784,0.0,0.05195747087768377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777982042576438,0.0821004819645995,0.0,0.0,0.14885178490523698
mentalhealth,That1GingerBitch,2019/03/14,"Mental illness is a joke in my household! One time as I found myself unable to speak over the intercom at my previous job from being so anxious. It caused me to have such a massive breakdown because I was humiliated. I had been having trouble speaking (especially publicly) for years due to anxiety. So I called my mom and told her that enough was enough and that I had been hiding my anxiety from her and I wanted to start seeing someone. She yelled at me and said, “Don’t call me at work with this again” and hung up. When she got home, she tried to talk to me about it, but all she said was, “You don’t have anxiety.” 

This next one happened a few days ago. As I was telling my mom that I was going to stop seeing my therapist (because it just wasn’t a good fit) and I was going to start seeing a new one, my mom asked, “Why do you need to see someone anyways?” And then said, “How many are we on now? Number four?” 

Just now, I was napping after work and she came in my room (after multiple times of me telling her, “I’m just tired” which was true) and says, “I wish you weren’t depressed,” and leaves my room. 

The screwed up part. I LITERALLY WORK IN MENTAL HEALTH! My job requires me to use my own story of my struggle with mental illness to assist clients with their recovery. I AM IN GRAD SCHOOL FOR SOCIAL WORK. My parents know this. I go around advocating for mental health in people of all aged and I can’t even get my own parents to understand and accept my own mental illness.",3.2638954765041714,4.6750249898989935,4.305346215780998,87.1949275362319,73.51178451178451,6.9160591421461,26.044356609574,7.423996415210882,1.213757839262187,1150,39,238,13,23,374,153,297,0.132,0.823,0.045,-0.9729,5,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,3,1,5,15,8,1,1,7,0,25,7,0,3,3,37,51,20,0,3,4,5,0,0,0,0,6,7,3,0,10,18,0,2,4,2,0,4,5,4,0,4,21,11,50,4,41,29,9,39,0,1,4,1,33,16,1,0,19,173,60,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429673061735446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923541936576034,0.09468682566290994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461290914425857,0.07835548957194717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218540359670736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116848886770264,0.09586176076598804,0.0,0.08610084980077061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05405358853912104,0.0,0.07218953285937006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320611128048866,0.0,0.055358860717575474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189856189094804,0.0,0.0,0.043789754524191364,0.0,0.1429015845733146,0.070299846934432,0.06703432287626089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411711842891562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781823481744861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407304147929415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634643959174156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04606240199236677,0.0,0.0,0.08874773249240976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497501479077449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4223278400761641,0.0,0.0,0.2944885135448645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214758501186787,0.0,0.0809488207273895,0.08913795168170742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703851583695929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18613275178588504,0.09076322102023243,0.0,0.058106603644793677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23918110000387735,0.06665286389510748,0.0,0.08482501516802124,0.26715805942749826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543859619446123,0.14203195399648466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864904178432754,0.0,0.0,0.07007289513823016,0.0,0.08762138879077579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673671319348464,0.14651559490828178,0.0,0.0,0.0973154002730066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774612506105627,0.0963327408223742,0.0,0.08008859818479913,0.0,0.05690472256987019,0.0,0.0,0.0872541245349354,0.0,0.07238904487957065,0.0,0.0,0.049436118990147236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562978737192365,0.0,0.09638284146912077,0.0,0.0,0.2440725837946049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397395962318203
mentalhealth,Derp_Master32,2019/03/14,"Idk and I basically want to post something (Its relevant tho) For starters I just joined Reddit and I'm using mobile too so sorry for any mistakes.

So it's very short and honestly I'm too lazy to find a post where this would be relevant so I'm just making a post about it soooo...here we go.

So basically I just have mainly social anxiety and paranoia and I am going through the stress of middle school rn. It's taking a small toll so if any strangers are nice enough to maybe just upvote or just try to give me a little support it'd be greatly appreciated.

Thanks! 😛",1.7921014492753642,4.119940260869568,3.538804347826087,86.76009057971018,81.17391304347827,6.268115942028986,22.6268115942029,7.492282038375204,1.0093333333333332,450,15,91,7,12,150,77,115,0.125,0.732,0.14300000000000002,0.6361,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,0,15,7,0,1,5,0,7,0,0,2,0,19,19,13,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,5,9,15,2,11,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,1,55,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25194047291603344,0.0,0.1417088627804695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19140347753381529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930692381995935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777000525711742,0.21055346550393272,0.0,0.0,0.204228863386512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18566015285521975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364981011467975,0.0,0.18609948889597114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5322290360298568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874737879049286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882987795673048,0.0,0.1426075766943097,0.0,0.2073621406305853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21219294683450232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102092987260512,0.0,0.0,0.13927818319802954,0.0,0.0,0.17054503067238622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576648372795698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159988753547659,0.0,0.15284323019202856,0.10925994493539064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158989604016938,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mockstarmartini,2019/03/14,"Social Anxiety I get stressed whenever I’m meeting new people or in a new social situation, college is coming up and I’m dreading it, I can’t walk in there without having a panic attack. Does anybody have any ways they cope with social anxiety?",4.186914893617022,6.326462531914897,6.315904255319152,70.70875000000002,72.61702127659575,8.104255319148937,33.026595744680854,8.841846274778883,3.4087489361702126,197,10,30,4,4,69,37,47,0.19,0.7020000000000001,0.108,-0.4486,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,3,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,8,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,8,0,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,2,18,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613287404478885,0.0,0.3062824252831071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22773968746925205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17244191717034088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751835120018332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458856105389952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866804356809345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23487432653152834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387832868435215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22501667355831384,0.0,0.6121911345386027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293115938878239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588977795823612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929714932231953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tiredofsaving,2019/03/14,"Struggling to support my brother I hope this is the right place to post this. I've just been dealing with this feeling over the last few years and I'm hoping that someone out there can relate and possibly offer some advice.

I'm in my mid 33 and have been independent most of my life. I grew up in a home with no interest in discussing or improving mental health. When I was in college I had the revelation that I'd been living with major depression and anxiety disorder and opened myself up to getting help. It's the single best choice I've ever made and it's improved my quality of life.

Then there's my brother. My brother is 31 and lives with schizo-effective disorder but refuses to believe it. He was diagnosed about five years ago when his delusions led him to being arrested for disorderly conduct. That was his ""come to Jesus"" moment when he accepted he had a mental health problem that needed to be treated. At first everything was looking great, he was diligent with taking his medication, actively meeting with his therapist, and adopted a very responsible attitude regarding his health. 

Since then, though, he's been much more vocal about not needing to take his medication and being better. It even hit a point about a year ago where he stopped taking his meds for a week and ended up being arrested again, this time for trespassing. Of course, he said it was a wake up call and would get back on board with his doctor's orders but I can see he's starting to slip again. 

At that time I lived only a state over from him and my family (he still lives with our parents) but I recently moved across country for work. I'm seriously stressing how things will play out if he goes off his meds and gets into trouble again. I can't just put my life on pause to fly back and stay with him as he recovers. I'm married, just dropped a lot of money on this move, and have a new job that I can't afford to lose. I've spoken to my own therapist about this and they believe I need to consider breaking contact with him... that he's become to dependent on me coming in to fix things when he goes off his meds. Plus, the stress just drives me up the wall.

The problem I keep hitting is that if I do break contact, it's just creating more of a burden for my parents. They're in their late 60's and all I can keep thinking about is what toll this is taking on their health. Plus, I still want to keep in contact with them.

I'm finding myself in a place where I have to think with my head over my heart but my god it's difficult. Is there anyone out there that've been in similar circumstances? If you have, what happened... did things get better?

​",5.033663284891691,5.956684875239925,5.5712826981080354,81.63233397312861,68.7696737044146,8.794976693172469,29.856923498766108,9.002800196639251,2.3690737702221,2104,78,408,37,35,678,247,521,0.091,0.81,0.099,0.3141,4,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,1,1,4,6,31,22,0,3,19,0,36,14,3,5,2,81,72,36,0,12,14,5,1,0,0,2,11,1,1,0,27,38,0,5,5,1,1,8,4,11,0,2,16,4,52,11,79,48,12,86,1,2,2,0,49,40,0,10,31,281,79,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839892703187822,0.12409381899836833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584024417137859,0.08505236117315737,0.0,0.0,0.05354647123092498,0.0,0.0,0.04894257733837518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764464959045034,0.0,0.0,0.07730468252835447,0.0,0.15772222855193932,0.07345610334680383,0.12381090676758486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714733720423338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059008803044742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216242893944552,0.060287140159401086,0.07104409883826669,0.0,0.0,0.2406631947218049,0.07164350112418187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199535916950313,0.0,0.0,0.04623145853633328,0.06331506159823325,0.0,0.0,0.06290756579286047,0.0,0.06598565774287977,0.0,0.03539189753945219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397474475231847,0.059538253644658576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627932687629416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717043763728197,0.0,0.0,0.061896911227276176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183571799118925,0.2976083587977435,0.0,0.08294516765458912,0.04691660048536017,0.0,0.07021133167828034,0.13904292353839715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945986988322078,0.1866460165986479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705578689421281,0.07895812808693195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831996670936964,0.0,0.0,0.2472297217679117,0.0,0.05877870679082869,0.07830721436181172,0.0,0.05950778807918852,0.0,0.06623156478689703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332481221925688,0.1410264820755549,0.14107827924299446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878857103160925,0.05145484748860884,0.1557026352619953,0.0,0.06760222303193539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053234836572128894,0.0,0.0,0.15544374441417586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462610871058032,0.0,0.06616850218748395,0.0789095644349022,0.06703647230633536,0.0,0.0,0.13395274426532847,0.0,0.07036494878301576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069112247862297,0.0,0.0,0.059775892120357416,0.06658188026373899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577746085708546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579011147954345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930707665320663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049543272608266666,0.07460603654008875,0.11179721332033464,0.058519487289148825,0.1603595329204042,0.0731746381747811,0.0,0.0,0.07943022014187476,0.0,0.0,0.21051203385245532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625406604959201,0.13950597433508055,0.08970075663768816,0.06877035862333185,0.0,0.08163003843055579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775373161379331,0.04128524062209652,0.0,0.05614627846694895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095765786764821,0.0,0.0,0.04972289272768372,0.0,0.08505236117315737,0.13522468728670858
mentalhealth,pouria3,2019/03/14,"Supportiv: Winner of SXSW 2019, Social & Culture category Supportiv matches you, instantly (and anonymously!) with other individuals who are struggling with something similar. You can talk about any topic, any time. #What'sYourStruggle?

[https://www.producthunt.com/posts/supportiv](https://www.producthunt.com/posts/supportiv?bc=1)",21.299803921568632,28.783708000000004,14.037647058823529,4.5127450980392325,57.235294117647065,12.854901960784314,43.901960784313715,10.125756701596842,8.518643137254902,288,13,17,9,6,79,30,34,0.071,0.815,0.113,0.3923,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175190142567685,0.0,0.5240929515708803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928086938063928,0.0,0.296655892247216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028442040652117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097241326458667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22469662084849965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ninashasha,2019/03/14,"Explaining Anxiety Does anyone else feel like they cannot explain why they’re anxious? It almost feels like you’re lying when you say you’re anxious but you’re definitely not. 

i always get asked why i’m anxious, or what’s making me anxious but it’s like i’m honestly not sure what’s making me feel this way",1.835238095238097,4.337793476190477,3.4660317460317493,86.24285714285719,82.49206349206351,6.139682539682537,23.285714285714285,7.447530270364453,1.2198000000000009,251,9,48,4,7,83,37,63,0.205,0.586,0.209,0.5118,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,14,12,4,0,0,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,5,5,0,12,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,17,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572892032729797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070004681091354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016292309798038,0.7098059387742001,0.0,0.10983138611628253,0.16094320971516107,0.0,0.0,0.14684511663673286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374585098133049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121707507944436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382674580357028,0.2244306494581308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082065872419754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23021860630323854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096992712009528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491336122483385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804253354287322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246798385558442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28347381934596594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DareDiablo,2019/03/14,"Anyone else feel like their partner is their only best friend? I'm 34 and I have clinical depression and anxiety. My anxiety keeps me up at night and my depression stems from years of physical abuse as well as my mother passing away when I was 14.

My partner also has depression and anxiety and I feel bad because well, I always feel like I'm last to be picked on the team, ya know? I don't have any real friends except one and he lives 200 miles away with no car so I rarely see him unless I drive down. 

I don't really have any friends here in town. I mean I have friends, the kind you rarely see every once in awhile, but I don't have any friends in the sense of friends that are involved in your life, or someone that wants to be part of your life. Almost all my friends are the Facebook kind. The kind that only keep up on an app.

I feel bad for my partner because she is my only outlet. I never see anyone, including my own family. My father has never been in my life. My grandparents have been long gone. I don't really have anyone. My stepdad only calls on holidays and that's it. Always telling me ""don't be a stranger"" even though I've made attempts to call.

I just feel like the only person I have is my partner. Anyone else feel the same? Anyone else wish they had others? I just hate that I don't have anyone here to go out to lunch with or anything. I've tried, but no one ever has time or gets back to me. I just feel like at times there is this aura around me telling others to just not waste their time.

I hate feeling this way. ",2.5478374455732933,4.079167779874215,3.6145911949685576,90.93208998548626,75.60377358490565,6.653313981615868,22.9225931301403,7.321109707123232,0.7247330430575718,1206,34,261,14,26,389,152,318,0.101,0.725,0.174,0.9757,1,0,0,0,1,0,32.0,0,4,4,3,17,24,2,0,9,0,31,5,0,2,4,46,56,19,0,2,12,2,8,4,11,0,4,0,0,5,10,11,1,2,10,2,0,5,11,7,2,2,6,11,47,17,35,47,5,37,0,3,3,0,31,19,0,4,16,172,57,1,0.0,0.08319152855070099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030868845058351,0.0,0.0,0.05614971898372932,0.11684653085510052,0.0,0.0,0.1432427846026302,0.0,0.16113943006141485,0.0,0.0,0.29456951454488073,0.2158261168847324,0.0577797365671327,0.0625049104784865,0.0,0.0,0.13193580881451286,0.053989855557304116,0.11725069690343927,0.08560300861170335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368474744606672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433916891342232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18142438114032028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759631352791461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04637536148943093,0.06351214005147704,0.05915791088467995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661910488620855,0.0,0.2840164847317702,0.20064218373753487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797274883103243,0.0,0.036683661283298134,0.0,0.039903956091205936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864261055221674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481798850627583,0.0,0.21934969933583434,0.0385875091318362,0.057233382334316324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878163679049092,0.13721109844613266,0.0,0.06199981614741674,0.06213674730696062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643772133187434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648309673632095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830597565477824,0.0,0.0,0.06589062321567772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477509716716861,0.09515698371679296,0.2670026934065944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603438962070358,0.0,0.0,0.06130772911196801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799183466488505,0.08996114549890401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785323189687187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949167959977551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273940593494527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689844175780954,0.0,0.12282618785338704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0476703646972937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04141374766541634,0.05573221646929023,0.0,0.0,0.12626075649596485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074207193880904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452151987251128
mentalhealth,DireConnorsequences,2019/03/14,"What can I do to be more emotional? First ever text post yadda yadda it's a bit lengthy sorry about that... 

So I've always been a super bubbly and socially active guy, going to pubs with friends, jokes with colleagues have always been my thing. 

A fair few things have gone wrong. I lost my grandparents almost days apart, my girlfriend cheated and my farther got two types of cancer all super close together. 

But I don't actually feel sad since losing my grandad. I don't mean repressed sadness but I've not been very emotional at all. I feel like I'm missing emotions entirely like I haven't worried about anything or been excited for a couple of years. I still function fine physically and I'm going out but it's like floating.

I still laugh and I can be happy, but it's not the same happiness. It's hard to explain, I don't FEEL depressed or anything but I'm not really sure what that does feel like. I find myself tearing up at things that I never would like sad videos or anything like that but again it just seems to come on with no actual emotion. I wish I could be more specfic but explaining it is hard.

My friends can't relate so I wanted to see if anybody has felt (or rather not felt) the same. Things just feel vacant no matter what I do.

Ideas? ",2.3723199999999984,4.7128331920000015,3.4612000000000016,88.05860000000001,79.08,6.08,24.0,7.24861992348623,1.08148,998,35,194,13,25,321,136,250,0.106,0.629,0.265,0.992,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,5,11,27,1,1,6,0,22,1,0,0,5,56,46,18,0,6,19,0,9,6,3,1,1,0,0,1,17,10,0,1,13,3,0,4,12,10,0,2,9,10,23,17,18,32,8,21,0,7,1,0,7,8,0,7,14,127,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.19138796665159066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819453490315833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319022591963755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24208904265186246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070578776146408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447139186022927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829421421263827,0.108503303494916,0.0,0.06324162437849358,0.0,0.08446031881578088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581437351534624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4412244386520701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870233808219022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479144757716168,0.14011046392871354,0.18830904255386355,0.0,0.08962653268429144,0.08341115321222503,0.0,0.0,0.1515243093453281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146134270236126,0.0,0.07842882558553782,0.0,0.0,0.09709640861116044,0.0,0.20877680918256844,0.1756878780462714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069961872450608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874476887363481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097058555620167,0.1070458284150337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106817838271224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563115698089426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939159132164513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282077675100567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814240506794967,0.08927160449683001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111757503310481,0.0,0.0,0.0999614596178996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977194113145193,0.0,0.0,0.15662425278069667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242190452130618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605910987073566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579194158133726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091109599832913,0.05783927676962045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276600909318918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958632240117488,0.0,0.06966015241590719,0.10721497379045968,0.0,0.06314846012931821
mentalhealth,stephQnn,2019/03/14,I have recently been diagnosed bipolar and started on lithium as of today I am quite scared to be honest. Any idea what should I expect? Any advice?,1.9192857142857136,4.75181378571429,3.5757142857142874,81.89428571428573,89.7142857142857,5.6571428571428575,24.857142857142854,7.1686216300943375,1.7746857142857144,118,5,19,2,4,39,25,28,0.107,0.77,0.123,0.1197,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,4,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151029889048741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.438566057477736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272888751245724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640167140576124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429746059484464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183891446308011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32283749328221084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282379849572492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30565322037846776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blizervi,2019/03/14,"Conflicted. I'm a 18 yr old male suffering from deppression and anxiety who's basically just stopped going to school, unemployed and just ended a pretty horrible relationship. This relationship has been going on for about two years with this girl who had been diagnosed with DID earlier last year when we had a mini-breakup. I have issues when I'm alone so in that instance I reached back out again to her so I won't feel alone anymore and, again it was a mistake. This girls other ""personality"" is manipulative, sadistic and a heartless thing that tried to pry itself into my life to control me for it's own pleasure and satisfaction. I felt scared that it will ruin my life for everyday that I remained there, but it will if I left either way. I was conflicted. Thinking that it's better to be alone than to have somebody like that. Especially when I tried to talk to her about it, which was a wasted effort to try and make things work. She never took responsibility. Whatever she did that was horrible or wrong she'd simply say ""It wasn't me."" or ""It was her!"". This made me extremely frustrated and really pushed me with that idea of being alone is better. This all made me grow a distrust of whatever or whoever had DID because even when I knew her triggers and knew that it was ""her"" she'd still make it out that nothing she did was wrong.

But now a month had passed since I had succesfully broken free, and I feel alone again. I hate being alone with my thoughts and feeling that I will never be useful in the world. I feel like I should reach out again to pull myself out of it once more but I know that this cycle will only repeat. I have no trust with people anymore. I want to be alone but I can't and I won't but I can't.
I'm scared that I can't go forward anymore. I'm scared that she will be right that I can't live without her. I'm scared that I will fall.",3.676878986780068,5.213320689008047,4.737735046685774,84.00412868632709,72.67292225201072,7.933031339558103,25.730701673292042,8.53829466247534,1.654599593232875,1479,48,301,26,29,484,173,373,0.209,0.7040000000000001,0.087,-0.9935,2,7,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,0,0,5,20,20,4,4,9,0,46,3,0,8,3,63,72,26,0,4,13,0,5,2,0,9,3,1,0,4,40,22,0,4,11,0,1,10,11,13,0,1,26,6,46,8,35,29,4,44,0,2,0,0,23,12,0,4,25,219,86,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5989497559147242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320026824360607,0.0,0.24579571739792205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352585495098294,0.0,0.05036135263098625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613255251592225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265977579614476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385251166860422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317239099611192,0.0,0.0,0.05456644506392701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16709055642507267,0.059020190596873835,0.07932338007458553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408560682624792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156523366336561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326230765242176,0.0,0.08622862237811932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04540305734707836,0.06734227211748951,0.0,0.0,0.08976146674000747,0.0,0.11670687120213875,0.08072305665184208,0.0,0.0729505809362286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634466901371413,0.11029234183644508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594252501822798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743560116525124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927134493544186,0.0,0.08669057173170869,0.08798230570454962,0.0,0.06283244953254706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727485635607349,0.07213625350057344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404918138959801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052925300699517265,0.0,0.0,0.1773952387701205,0.0,0.07055278022364997,0.0,0.06569878405989482,0.33084821061768,0.08361081623096167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834000266598103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597646593985224,0.06906986042464956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640282795180533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977150372853073,0.052936372377440685,0.0,0.065587101917317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178833293308357,0.1682705376016355,0.0,0.08070287530632457,0.0,0.0,0.07135285642533422,0.0,0.0,0.04872848241606247,0.06557596168723105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963793628578016,0.0,0.060144722374185076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065312213001575,0.0,0.10640273533396387
mentalhealth,WannabeDeadGirl97,2019/03/14,"One week ago I almost killed myself one week ago today.  I’ve tried three times seriously, and I was about to attempt for the fourth time last week. I was more ready to die than I had been ever before, I wrote suicide notes to my family and cried the whole time never even thinking about changing my mind (which was new for me because usually I had some kind of doubt in my mind). I was so ready and then all of a sudden I was fine. Just like that I was fine. It’s so confusing sitting here not even sure why I wanted to act the way I did and just feeling like I was another person from who I was a minute ago. I hate this, I just want to be normal ",1.5368734793187355,3.1527568905109504,3.0741788321167896,93.35657238442823,78.63503649635038,6.0265206812652075,19.44586374695864,6.816661863887847,0.03656739659367325,502,11,115,5,12,165,85,137,0.191,0.693,0.116,-0.9304,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,1,11,11,2,2,5,0,13,0,0,0,4,24,19,7,3,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,3,13,1,20,6,14,5,4,21,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,19,80,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376239185164224,0.0,0.1416713067030657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835361683724782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624460472092019,0.0,0.12038865454282695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966657697373806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540861384823956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468334092711473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18689178267498133,0.1279763293966863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337430395859276,0.0,0.0715362983648916,0.10107300028015694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396817394443502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565261314722145,0.14732915288591353,0.0,0.11532469515538885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823949812894906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857079761080982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911773091562707,0.13664180598261674,0.0,0.0,0.13861989466276387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19174037408698846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123534463317357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475563630051467,0.0,0.13334277711516798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065436634525126,0.0,0.0,0.24749354473844046,0.0,0.1341060460725249,0.0,0.0,0.09605530989849156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581970771055467,0.0,0.16689657783488,0.11229986089431797,0.3404590209394111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276632647606232,0.15795683612345532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ssundiall,2019/03/14,im so afraid suddenly everyone hated me and i didnt know what to do. it hurts so bad. i cant do anything. there was no warning it just suddenly happened and i dont know what changed. i thought id be used to being hated but i guess im still human. i wish i didnt feel anything.,-1.8561904761904768,0.03859988888889277,1.5622222222222213,96.33000000000004,97.7301587301587,4.704761904761905,21.285714285714285,6.42735559955562,0.3706380952380957,215,9,52,3,9,77,38,63,0.226,0.7140000000000001,0.06,-0.7747,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,1,0,0,9,0,0,1,0,11,19,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,1,8,0,2,13,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408210268532624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290448733467584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190648762026615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242698094535322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787534439037252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047066797555705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281237304886221,0.0,0.18312157618869795,0.0,0.0,0.4089004182212071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22168513722371772,0.0,0.4473673297086612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276132649158371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653756343475031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439966024368305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788520152716805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381336217799451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themaddeshatter,2019/03/14,"Uncle suddenly has Schizophrenia - STORY Throwaway account - 

Trying to get some answers as to what the fuck is going on here I will try and keep it relatively short.

As this is on going and I'm not sure what is happening i'l replace actual names and locations.

Uncle is one of the nicest guys you could ever meet, never showed any signs of mental illness age for reference early 50's super chill and really easy to get on with. 


After my sister's wedding apparently my uncle started to show signs of Schizophrenia (pacing up and down at night time, not sleeping all night and hearing multiple voices) 

This all came to ahead when he and my aunty were out and pulled into the drive he then grabbed my aunty by the throat and said ""they are coming for us I have to kill you, and Katie (his daughter)"" his daughter is 10. 

He is a pilot so my aunty called his employer and have obviously taken him off work, they live in Minnesota and my neice is now between us and the inlaws. Uncle is now in a mental institution and my aunty has spoken to him a few times she is also still in Minnesota. Apparently he told her had a pact with the devil and the only way he can keep to his side of the deal is to kill them all. CPS has since been in touch and it sounds like he won't be seeing anyone anytime soon if at all. 

I can't believe this shit is fucking happening you read about it sometimes but it is literally like has had done a full 180 and just gone off the wall. 

As far as I know he was T total (very religious) what could have caused something like this it's bizarre beyond belief and obviously I feel terrible for his daughter. 

TLDR - uncle went full on insane insisted he had to kill his family. Is now in a mental institution.",4.849034243939978,5.797926887905604,5.961210722072593,78.57566756444787,69.20648967551621,8.609516480697705,27.12851096575606,8.841846274778883,2.0493826086956526,1361,42,255,23,23,454,189,339,0.096,0.862,0.042,-0.9634,4,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,2,3,3,3,13,13,6,0,15,0,35,6,3,1,10,53,58,28,3,3,5,4,3,3,0,2,1,4,0,1,12,24,0,2,5,3,1,8,5,8,0,1,13,8,30,5,46,40,9,52,2,0,1,2,39,24,3,2,22,183,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.10954389426028288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976963328699925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633669694478129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849073802692262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647202901374288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462407633520512,0.1283888857856371,0.0,0.11531597252947134,0.0,0.09669704297345873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17925166922358127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572913837603135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114875007761369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015403393798954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582325772552983,0.0,0.056759090123900936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20755437523795595,0.1172963598261431,0.0,0.12759328345155532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114929432650178,0.19853201478241192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651862783867648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19955335945806127,0.372577880294846,0.0,0.06169196581780651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452517768590605,0.0,0.09912250426449623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33937745597640795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865773497471773,0.0,0.0,0.2106859015567729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606634269557755,0.08537436805586351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228456520190597,0.0,0.07191290702501234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677943838121877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945205393806849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522731046053722,0.09285782400576167,0.0,0.1123352562563167,0.0,0.0,0.08641875787675703,0.11102226189278508,0.0,0.07945409176976066,0.0,0.08964633924157872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105798243362358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091263905623096,0.0,0.0,0.10726368682274616,0.0,0.1524264496772855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27005593243742443,0.0,0.0,0.0926214609997885,0.0,0.08910214913398938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406075655450138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817223855315649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,riottvan,2019/03/14,"give me a reason to go to school tomorrow just been feeling extra depressed (newly diagnosed with Bipolar 2) and need some motivation factors, even something small could help a lot, thanks :)",17.089687500000004,11.387631093750002,14.22125,50.09875000000002,50.5625,16.55,57.0,13.023866798666859,7.386025,153,8,21,3,1,47,30,32,0.081,0.613,0.306,0.802,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,2,0,10,7,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,5,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,14,1,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25784759526474355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27815452675463825,0.3277852895131281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21330402199125006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329214630194805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098010237246519,0.1835387165565556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164651494570319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27455872989856583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394617531546471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33204419670719604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32684048526785064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486210477236272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29732700879362656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spoonyconch0,2019/03/14,My teachers give me headaches. I’m a junior in high school. Every day I leave school with a massive headache because my teachers make my brain hurt. It’s starting to annoy me at this point. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?,0.6289855072463766,3.0924524782608662,1.5086956521739123,97.90115942028986,89.43478260869566,3.066666666666667,22.88405797101449,3.1291,-0.2496550724637681,178,7,37,0,6,55,36,46,0.172,0.828,0.0,-0.7579,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,2,1,1,1,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,5,7,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,19,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548367070966201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734317646493844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589725043142892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911230188397053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818516216175353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21972314748884586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501693468795028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755343445234846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791764190253016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433209664338792,0.0,0.0,0.27613433601954473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17407643830479022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465267211445448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5278579763888083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845854167331689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Papakotsos,2019/03/14,"vocal tics related to emotions from everyday memories. no info online. what is this? Hello. 

Short and simple.

2 years ago I started having flashbacks about a particular event and automatically response in vocal tics

(""leave me alone"", ""im an asshole""=, ""i can't take this anymore"" etc)

​

I started accepting this particular event and it stopped occuring. But the problem is that I started **intrusively** remembering more and more memories about different events from ANY age, from something embarrasing I did when I was 3 years old to something I did that morning (e.g I said something corny to a coworker, or expressed my emotions intensely to someone who might misunderstood me etc etc... pretty much ANYTHING comes up now).

​

Keep in mind, when I think purposely about these ""uncomfortable"" memories, I get no such emotional response. Only when they come intrusively, usually by train of thought. Eg. I smell Ice cream, I start remembering tons of memories about eating ice cream, and as this train of thought rides, I fall onto an ""uncomfortable"" memory about ice cream.  Then I respond with a vocal tic instictively, and the intense emotion goes away.

I really feel like its getting worse. I worry sometimes that it might get out of hand. (Example...lately my vocal tics arent solely words...but sometimes grunts....like those people with serious illnesses make and Im worried)

In my mind are a few things. 

1. Some strange form of PTSD, where there is no single particular trauma but my whole life is consisted of multiple traumatic experiences.
2. OCD. My obssesions are thinking about the things I did or said wrong, and my compulsions are vocal tics
3. Brain damage from substances
4. Autism. I always had trouble connecting with others - made fun of in middle school. I believe I have high IQ
5. Schizophrenia - Schizoaffective disorder. I have many other weird thoughts but they never evolve into delusions, either because my really high IQ cancels my schizophrenia or because Its just anxiety. (Example. Sometimes i get the ""feeling"" that everyone can read each others thoughts to a certain extend, but its something that is forbidden to talk about, and its kind of a ""secret"".... Or that my life is the only thing that exists...or that when Im around people and they are having a private conversation, what they are talking about is hinting at me based on their assumptions of my personality. Of course I know these thoughts are not really true, but Im not convinced either)

Also my thought patterns are weird. Lately Im obsessing about death and just want to die because I get the feeling that death is the goal of life, not being depressed just being excited that I know that one day Im going to die and everything will be over and see what comes next.

​

Anyone heard anything similar? Thanks much love ",5.515941735609927,8.379535945344134,5.677208237986267,73.48741418764305,71.1255060728745,8.668121809540574,32.80390776271783,9.318704503766252,3.6006230945256115,2263,109,347,54,46,715,256,494,0.16,0.7659999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9926,2,1,4,0,0,1,112.0,0,0,5,1,22,20,0,1,16,0,33,8,2,2,3,72,70,29,4,2,17,0,4,1,0,3,4,3,0,1,34,23,1,2,18,1,0,6,9,10,0,1,15,12,44,10,50,49,16,49,0,2,4,1,18,18,0,7,26,236,78,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288802856274729,0.0,0.0,0.061793317305758835,0.0,0.0477128213881772,0.049644751188630654,0.1939358961945239,0.2174927845736229,0.04057317662249205,0.0,0.045642358704952465,0.0,0.05917008800434467,0.0417180557275055,0.0,0.09819583430087654,0.05311309982527638,0.0,0.0,0.056055754103557294,0.0,0.0,0.10911081482075632,0.0,0.0,0.06722025154810332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660411693139875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418427940127394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03847797488289825,0.0,0.05138802265016405,0.0,0.12384243613713468,0.06233558298799637,0.06837945687214926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061050581287971216,0.0,0.2684533016825656,0.0,0.0,0.1996214788157052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701096176308264,0.05362164148577708,0.05836228057517216,0.0,0.0,0.09050286483556373,0.04262356450250843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558583916672477,0.0,0.03390810077274086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607537373307529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866804397483154,0.0,0.0,0.05303159570003559,0.0,0.062130278449501176,0.06557891880297617,0.0,0.06730294493680825,0.06317495496687785,0.0,0.0,0.1264261298276913,0.029148536943403892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0538485727031422,0.056454977668966976,0.03982580112717757,0.060489350904555074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265869360147915,0.12048610721725528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771896829785318,0.0,0.046016113394851794,0.0,0.06345273197614623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260673065602634,0.0,0.04042948255210911,0.09075345024870116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272621655662057,0.05209580353699927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060699155121541025,0.0,0.057089842362384124,0.06974335390434551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967957323608177,0.0,0.1146657582108867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13517406525614153,0.0,0.1135071646137782,0.0,0.0,0.06038257387322871,0.04754402703982933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05055262847618668,0.18372728541641434,0.17702596605913873,0.0,0.16892032418358802,0.0,0.0,0.049881296912403415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485947224872286,0.09591040597224568,0.0,0.05493006797574121,0.0,0.0,0.11891319027589352,0.07645983043227114,0.0,0.28419658162745026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571083616745807,0.0,0.03519103534512135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661208606114802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118221344534952,0.06080212977632349,0.0,0.06523259181152251,0.2174927845736229,0.07684258229065705
mentalhealth,PredictableProphet,2019/03/14,"I realized my mental issues started in early childhood. I am 19 years old from Czech republic. I have incredibly big problems getting to know someone at a closer level. Everytime I start liking someone, and they seem to have the same feelings, I go crazy. Start obsessing about them when we're not even dating, stalking them online, thinking only about them, unable to be a functional human being. This makes me very toxic and ruin the relationship before it can even start, because my brain just destructs itself from the stress. I cry about them not talking to me enough or looking at me a bit differently.  


I make them the center of my life, and I hate it. I am always worried that I could do more to make them fall for me faster. And I am terrified of the thought that this person, who is the most perfect human being I've ever met, could leave me at any point. And when they're not convincing me constantly of their affection, I am certain they're just not into me anymore, so I start freaking out, demanding to know the truth. Aaaand ... it's ruined.  


I am very afraid of for example leaving someone somewhere, I always have to be the last person leaving, and I am the one being left. Otherwise I'd be scared I'm missing out on something, or that I am letting someone wait for something that will not come, and I know how terrible it would be if it happened to me, so I never do it. I am rather the one getting rejected, staying until the completely bitter end.  


BUT - I started realizing where it stems from. I've had this issues even in kindergarten age. I remember crying myself to sleep every night, when I was like 5, without any apparent reason. I couldn't really talk to other kids, not sure why, I was somehow 'weird' so I got verbally bullied a lot in childhood. But I remember crying all the time for no reason, I just kept reading books and ignoring other kids. It's like I was depressed even at 5, is that even possible? I remember the mornings mom was driving me to the kindergarten and then leaving to work, and when she forgot to say goodbye properly I cried the whole day, I was feeling incredibly alone, scared she won't come back for me.   


I think those are the exact same feelings I am now experiencing in romantic relationships, I am too scared they will 'forget' about me whenever they stop showing me affection, and I am terrified of getting used by someone and hurting me.   


Do you think it might have connection? And is it possible to be depressed at such a young age?",6.593299607369374,6.887025230443977,7.163964814255515,73.7885385835095,65.19450317124736,9.970673512533978,35.286091815161576,9.784248007369934,3.5114518876472367,1966,87,344,38,28,648,232,473,0.194,0.754,0.052000000000000005,-0.9965,2,2,2,0,0,0,58.0,0,1,10,2,28,29,3,6,21,0,46,3,2,9,8,84,83,28,0,7,16,1,3,3,0,5,1,1,0,6,23,18,0,5,18,3,0,5,11,21,0,2,11,7,66,8,47,55,9,59,0,7,1,0,27,20,0,8,36,264,89,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120352894049714,0.0,0.0,0.11440983045181193,0.0,0.0,0.0935037470654866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818082047258006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05286395903434173,0.0,0.041908928017619716,0.0,0.058500580687913785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505641687421648,0.0,0.0,0.07674694245682022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844284872203775,0.07208232073435718,0.0742935569807615,0.0,0.1097814249958443,0.0,0.30207145975841354,0.04433760344325833,0.0,0.11842732248410545,0.0,0.0,0.07182837369527194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089146353162845,0.0710363926193831,0.0,0.22704128254038256,0.062187667205389124,0.05792424049450664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042851174930594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107755996786377,0.0,0.039071804848129416,0.0,0.05498508619134365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060794768563421475,0.0,0.0,0.06787568895111662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359753499270097,0.0,0.0,0.14351279064254738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334843264125236,0.05603984578004291,0.0,0.29118227862995616,0.07469630285601943,0.07030080515623946,0.048559655458526016,0.10076228875461513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773208719065982,0.0,0.0,0.05844818638383289,0.0,0.0,0.1376720512886202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928311256446054,0.07293213048766081,0.0,0.08051833550759188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053023689368011516,0.0,0.0,0.06451654983080607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214081315749063,0.0,0.09317259394585513,0.05228693168598618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005845345608213,0.0,0.0,0.06499029914280516,0.15500898549348766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06578378407400373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876789279729839,0.0,0.04404255448774888,0.14137143702538404,0.0,0.14762201378426024,0.2336386251893293,0.0,0.0,0.05467219342153229,0.20649009288627854,0.0,0.0,0.06258676999242074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879893817730437,0.0,0.29125524422904703,0.1058531217831823,0.0,0.0,0.2919666005013945,0.07327759390504332,0.0,0.05747748337765391,0.07875207742626604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647953905739631,0.0,0.0,0.11051614745892886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215530383402027,0.0,0.05457925551121754,0.04008826285359074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059377311520838826,0.0,0.11345072565066125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06203553939008884,0.0767561251675966,0.0,0.06627186056196255,0.0,0.05005030065591553,0.0698182394014741,0.0,0.048837521868963035,0.0,0.0,0.044272287607752515
mentalhealth,Flobejakeyz,2019/03/14,"What is wrong with my brain Every time I get into a relationship, I’m automatically convinced they’re going to leave me. I get paranoid, I check phones behind their back, I want to know who they’re talking to at all times. Anytime they talk to another female I get paranoid. I have learned as I’ve gotten older how to handle these thoughts and have improved my relationships by not following through on my paranoid delusions, but I don’t know how to eliminate these thoughts. All the relationships I’ve had in the past - looking back I realize how great the guys were, and that they’d never hurt me, and it was all in my head. My current relationship is the same way - he’s a good guy but I can’t seem to get rid of the bad thoughts and the paranoia. I know it’s all in my head but that doesn’t help it stop. ",4.4723424428332414,5.289039926380372,5.246759620747351,83.83871723368658,69.98159509202452,8.135861684327942,30.15560513106525,8.296473431620573,1.9720478527607357,640,25,134,9,11,208,94,163,0.108,0.76,0.132,0.7943,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,3,0,5,6,0,0,8,0,11,3,3,3,5,30,28,11,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,6,0,1,9,0,1,2,5,3,0,0,7,1,21,3,19,20,5,18,0,1,1,0,15,6,0,1,9,86,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507029091591094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19809648096836746,0.10755238279442697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379644944773656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852940655913602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26919517136117954,0.0,0.0732066533313287,0.10804113626467388,0.0,0.14201534575937355,0.0,0.2550876546999888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26439591741962576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633976226880823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789558099998905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21237461249284692,0.0,0.0,0.1363929834489723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081693796713109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934751826796956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296533586655314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5531822053873897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726532705033475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769234276073034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20706791831059085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067862863890459,0.1502222675806849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597647364997473,0.10224472583942734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140835364583122,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_JVP_,2019/03/14,"'Awakening from the Meaning Crisis' video series Hi all,

I'm new to this subreddit, and in general not a big user of reddit.  However, my mental health is a bit shaky at moment so thought it be a wise idea to drop-in, say hello and familiarise myself for when I feel the need to vent.

Recently I've been watching this series by  John Vervaeke. It's very detailed, and he aims to make 50 hours of videos covering a huge range of topics all based around mental health, well-being and our search for meaning in Life.  I've found it helpful thus far, so maybe others can.

[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLND1JCRq8Vuh3f0P5qjrSdb5eC1ZfZwWJ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLND1JCRq8Vuh3f0P5qjrSdb5eC1ZfZwWJ)

​

May you have a peaceful day

​

JVP 

​

PS. Apologies if I don't reply, or don't reply quickly, still uncertain how much I'll be on reddit :/

I try to limit my social media use as using too much can affect my wellbeing  


​",10.832263888888884,11.7136720875,8.010833333333334,69.29305555555557,56.25,9.611111111111112,32.77777777777778,9.150863307647796,2.8815694444444446,794,24,116,10,9,226,115,160,0.067,0.8590000000000001,0.07400000000000001,0.2869,1,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,1,1,0,1,8,3,0,2,7,0,10,3,0,6,2,28,20,11,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,6,5,0,1,6,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,4,9,1,18,14,5,16,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,5,8,68,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4326276856312015,0.4851778442150455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886260062600952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897959511902316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437682843149366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047292136873235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944949469308196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21221189504647986,0.0,0.0,0.06690847487185811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830440434250486,0.0,0.0,0.11268670645472505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050711733092803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663185300457737,0.0,0.10028445475850492,0.21747049401052795,0.0,0.0,0.20119387176486328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676107538103295,0.07401662916135675,0.0,0.09640855463143376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856202392317537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938233333643542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175579452338683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797178499806426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924739036607911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777247655205998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17242803848847268,0.0,0.08236347178741807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897518218436655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4851778442150455,0.0
mentalhealth,cxyberbear,2019/03/14,"Family has a history of Schizophrenia...am I next? Hello, I have known my families history of my grandmother (on my mom's side) of  having Schizophrenia. I have been...becoming paranoid for the past few days over it. 

​

I have depression episodes from time to time ( never diagnosed officially). I've been feeling like someone has been watching me, for no apparent reason.... my skin has been itchy feels like their are bugs on me ( I shower daily). I feel that when I have coffee, I seem more hyper than I should ( I internalize my thoughts more and feel more anxious than I should), I have ""smoked the devil's lettuce"" before and it makes me feel like im taking a backseat and I dont feel like myself. 

​

Should I go get diagnosed? Also, I'm too broke to pay which is why I'm partially reaching out here. 

​

What are your thoughts?",4.0957412398921855,6.37075732075472,4.646832884097037,81.9754245283019,73.27672955974842,7.813297394429473,28.96720575022462,8.634040054169528,2.4220903863432164,670,28,120,13,14,213,96,159,0.113,0.8,0.08800000000000001,-0.5766,2,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,0,4,0,19,3,1,2,1,20,34,5,0,3,0,1,7,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,11,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,5,8,25,4,14,26,4,13,1,2,1,0,4,5,0,1,11,80,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599456119103213,0.0,0.3495377512211037,0.3919951918051709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214823316963193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187623852614995,0.09150315222462743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935025993651059,0.0,0.09261851070015924,0.2182886304123052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602854919929707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027461688033957,0.0,0.3262332396882356,0.30728803027348256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056181854727568536,0.0,0.06111380886596832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161547140085612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101418923366978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177949641983615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259420235523742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082936522384895,0.0,0.11436317710637332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265296515162713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056242493863493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789452813153687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911128492590077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808518657889743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707392940932489,0.1254073848559538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703232578887758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3919951918051709,0.0
mentalhealth,Worldly_Block,2019/03/14,"Wife isn't happy with the changes I have made/meds have made  

So  I have been a mess most of my life. I have half ass'd everything I have  done, I would sleep 12 hours a day if I could, and I was just in  general a leech on society. I could barely read or do more than 20  minutes of school work at a time.

A  couple of months back(after years of seeing some of the best  psychiatrist possible) I found a nurse practicioner who put me on 40mg  of adderall, 100mg of limitical, 30mg of propanolol, and 300mg of  wellbutrin.

We worked up to these doses. and added extra medications to correct certain things etc.

Well  now I feel for the first time in my life a functioning member of  society. I wake up at 6 make my bed, do my school work, clean my room  and groom myself.  For the first time I am doing things to the best of  my ability, and I am proud of myself.

My  wife who is in general pretty lazy person, yet has a great work ethic,  thinks I have gone crazy and its in general annoyed by my productivity. I  am pretty sure what I am doing is normal as prior to the limictal I def  had way to much energy. Now I feel just steady and productive. I should  mention I see my doctor once a week so I am sure he would have noticed  mania.

I no longer play 5 hours of  video games a day and instead will do things like school, focus on my  hobby of learning French organizing or cleaning. Albeit, I have ran out  of things to clean so I chilled out on that.

I  eat healthy, and my car is actually not embarrassing disorganized and  messy. I talk with people and am actually happy to see friends and co  workers.

Have y'all experienced this. I feel that this could cause some trouble in the future with our relationship.",3.442824272501692,4.807445695014664,4.750806451612906,84.36159429280397,72.98826979472142,8.061403113016016,25.432100157906607,8.617729084823388,1.620971486577938,1326,42,277,24,26,440,184,341,0.069,0.7709999999999999,0.16,0.983,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,2,1,0,11,10,17,1,1,17,0,36,8,2,3,4,51,48,19,0,8,6,2,3,1,1,4,5,0,5,1,13,18,1,1,6,4,0,4,3,4,1,3,8,7,44,13,45,33,9,38,0,0,3,0,14,16,0,6,18,194,57,11,0.0,0.0,0.18890527149312766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442518712926165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20314931613125928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942952660791043,0.10239050681913917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23183573216654896,0.10709579271470873,0.0,0.12484250114463967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906820261015066,0.0,0.09904931112534164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903987004929377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794592999150067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698820375732512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146819109389366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646582783524158,0.0,0.10612474239113652,0.07477936386354825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671081719069953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20606854500888352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906364139189008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673063881142486,0.04728648360258216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18316921916260026,0.06460777416089626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975052857581672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772564929357428,0.0,0.0711514537437273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483320562764376,0.0,0.11019554069996604,0.0,0.1030777086145094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710168490280811,0.08451289903499302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911567127024463,0.0,0.1969395314020972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730022811986468,0.0,0.0,0.09681573955895201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391575092923627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938685665303278,0.23138621256203684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685944718620222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824460050541445,0.0,0.0,0.07779577150183334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572106967394676,0.06201883348402444,0.0,0.0,0.16931628953257066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682703717280623,0.077638736294145,0.0,0.08702542665001659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818557717005241,0.0,0.0,0.1375130342268071,0.0,0.0,0.06232929485487412
mentalhealth,Boltonaler,2019/03/14,"DAE inexplicably have breakdowns during time off and vacations? I suppose it’s either the extra time to think and/or the change in routine. Or maybe it’s the extra pressure to be happy? It’s not as if I’m all sunshine and rainbows when I’m working, either (quite the opposite). But I’ve found that, whenever I have a week-long vacation, I usually spend one day during that week having an unexpected breakdown (lots of crying, lots of feeling sorry for myself, not at all up for whatever I had planned that day). 

This is very annoying, lol. I would just like to enjoy my vacation, and I have no idea why this happens every time. ",6.609428571428572,6.776655466666668,7.419047619047621,72.40500000000002,65.16666666666666,10.19047619047619,34.64285714285714,9.957137785484203,3.5027857142857144,496,21,87,10,7,166,82,120,0.095,0.764,0.141,0.7747,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,2,6,1,1,6,1,8,0,0,0,2,20,14,8,0,2,8,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,2,2,8,4,12,10,8,12,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,4,9,62,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203966520781146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21179180353411914,0.2486919089976479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245002917504422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974901022130626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140528694276764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705004993160765,0.20524893114426104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176580675817624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419681413854032,0.0,0.0,0.17063003513655456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278388979198629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937027118633265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065247360691898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507627006528145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21583406389891716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235443214573206,0.0,0.0,0.3372857070483437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123520447483323,0.1590877457739624,0.0,0.0,0.3093197487093908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398027315982284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403673614424742,0.0,0.0,0.13696609199739632,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,misslolita92,2019/03/14,My lack of self confidence prevented me from enjoying my bff's wedding yesterday was my \[26F\] bestfriend's wedding who we were together since we were very young. At her weeding I though I look ugly in my dress and my make up is terrible and my ordinary lack of self confidence prevented me from enjoying the wedding I wasted time in trying to hide and avoiding cameras I even didn't take too much selfies or photos with the bride. I talked with my mother about it today and she is not helping me or support at all instead she is blaming me for ruining everyone's happiness. and now I hate myself and my whole life.,6.741176470588236,7.015792529411769,7.3021848739495825,72.98840336134455,64.88235294117646,11.169747899159665,38.008403361344534,10.914260884657429,4.415383193277312,497,25,87,13,7,164,78,119,0.206,0.638,0.155,-0.7342,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,0,0,6,8,1,1,2,0,7,1,0,1,1,20,12,9,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,10,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,1,24,4,14,8,5,10,0,1,1,0,14,5,0,2,5,68,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471433256403894,0.0,0.0,0.22382783629462985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493544824131363,0.0,0.2312650324182456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700717130872213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545173194371096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967039041819004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635805149262913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721944891729544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4887300392667501,0.0,0.0,0.19376702820762745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265814531570682,0.0,0.0,0.17612049157277215,0.18827448251196224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23014113055154006,0.0,0.13658812973675594,0.0,0.22203359734649736,0.0,0.0,0.15903463434796014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19327380797835736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615223219018408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,teannanikaa,2019/03/14,"Senior Project Survey Good Afternoon. I hope this post finds you well to whoever maybe reading this at the moment. I am a current senior at the University of Central Florida and I am a sociology major. I am conducting my own research project and *measuring peoples perceptions on being incarcerated with a mental illness*. It would be greatly appreciated to take 2-3 mins of your time to complete my survey for my project. Feedback, and comments are also welcomed. Have a peaceful day !!

\*\*\*Also college has been the hardest times of my life and I am about to graduate this May. I wish the best to any one else who is trying to accomplish their goals right now going thru the motions of life I know its a tough one. <3

​

[http://ucf.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_dp7JL521msal5hb](http://ucf.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_dp7JL521msal5hb)",7.639206349206347,11.40122951851852,6.2640476190476235,67.32750000000004,68.62962962962963,7.708994708994709,34.08730158730158,8.634040054169528,3.494174603174603,695,33,94,13,14,207,95,135,0.011,0.7959999999999999,0.193,0.9773,1,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,2,1,3,5,7,0,0,10,0,13,3,0,0,0,12,18,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,1,1,2,1,0,14,6,17,13,3,17,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,10,72,20,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978524112514996,0.0,0.20177760969742514,0.2262870105990302,0.12664120604840967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543445716645927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19525617569473336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201014451200087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555693275136271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020872253464245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583748018118974,0.15619893954737218,0.0,0.20531667079773752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18496610251887624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234586073740766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630762306565525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870907317589508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767369670877365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25238538643158154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910682264331982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783546360155938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862780723676936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590374182119095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002003641795424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171817115568115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643636804702174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744104623061018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415263737459786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229079826222204,0.0,0.2262870105990302,0.0
mentalhealth,SpartEng76,2019/03/14,"It's getting exhausting trying to get everything right all of the time In the past 10 years or so I feel like I've finally got a handle on my mental health and most days I feel like things are going well, and other days I just want to shut everything out and take a break from it all. 

I mean, I managed to land a good job but so often it's just overwhelming and I feel like I can never keep up.  It might be my own anxiety but it causes a bit of stress. 

I also managed to find a great person that actually liked me and we got married.  But she has been becoming increasingly unhappy as I just don't seem to give her enough affection or start conversations enough, or I'm just not good enough at this or that or don't do this or that enough.  I spend enough time trying to keep myself happy it's so hard when I have another person's happiness on my shoulders too.  

I got really out of shape a while back, I had a number of health problems and nagging back pain in particular.  I've been exercising religiously for over a year, I've been lifting weights, doing yoga, playing sports, running, I try to do things everyone says is good for you.  And now despite trying to stretch and strengthen my back it is now 100x worse and near debilitating.  What the fuck was the point of all that getting stronger and more flexible if I'm just going to be in constant pain anyway?

Financially I guess I do okay but I usually feel like I'm just scraping by due to my lifestyle.  I changed a lot of my spending habits, fixed some bills, and some other things, saved a decent amount. I save for retirement and try to keep an emergency fund and do the things most people recommend.  But there's always something, either I need a new roof or refrigerator or pay for something unforeseen, I don't feel like I ever really have money just to spend on myself.  

I try to maintain relationships with friends even though I don't always have the time or the money.  I try to eat well and now I don't even really enjoy food anymore. I don't drink, smoke or do any drugs anymore. I work really hard trying to get everything right, but it seems like I never do and it doesn't really matter anyway.  ",3.787309990859878,5.262223772621812,5.054448428601564,82.08706953525981,72.29466357308584,8.37969486043732,26.05364550376152,8.927757054556999,1.9407982985305496,1710,56,340,34,33,568,205,431,0.107,0.7040000000000001,0.188,0.9898,1,0,5,0,0,0,34.0,1,1,0,1,29,29,2,2,19,1,30,14,1,2,6,79,60,40,0,4,26,0,8,7,1,1,8,1,0,2,22,19,4,3,9,5,8,4,10,8,2,0,8,9,42,21,41,49,19,49,0,1,0,1,11,19,1,21,32,235,64,5,0.0,0.0,0.0639261650436886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523865655148318,0.1090154778084516,0.0,0.0,0.04454755165255641,0.06869064202618229,0.05011328915336215,0.0,0.12993227403341304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511143683252589,0.0,0.0,0.07234822051569521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151755330656953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729455750931063,0.06929856838923981,0.0,0.0,0.07079066178459557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449422580491042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417270678468155,0.07596825285729088,0.06703083538785154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384353535272708,0.0,0.08653457067680317,0.05925555721406198,0.0,0.0625955119938758,0.17662256514997504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561356465787186,0.23399393384433245,0.0,0.07176059498911394,0.05987294416581281,0.0,0.07921229408753086,0.0,0.05061116525143805,0.060560907281036185,0.13690049103884294,0.06284105272132791,0.07445918689917867,0.16483450871988467,0.15717772030121802,0.07222258286135448,0.07216422921148427,0.0,0.0,0.1394685464775915,0.1173642469237032,0.0,0.0,0.13926346028079092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500638536947011,0.17467903270027865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22402662158181416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05569239059710596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135720054298983,0.0,0.0,0.06601645671918559,0.06949342570741278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048573205065026916,0.10104731051157934,0.06326784328325448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940983973732682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253460927908383,0.04541486163833761,0.11439777173667913,0.0,0.0,0.06192604679150542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626821193996617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098298766122623,0.0,0.0,0.07033086363376433,0.0,0.11188660979390952,0.0,0.05209443336422702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927168510375767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086221265374737,0.0,0.0,0.04636675935403234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503896575258498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04925371448482013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408189110664934,0.0,0.06436108276881326,0.0,0.11459437826898165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.355803979578861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214758892405193,0.0,0.0386381988112481,0.0,0.0,0.07977085481375806,0.117798762163792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047690459979830166,0.0,0.06675804662765013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436975333627715
mentalhealth,MajavaOuo,2019/03/14,"How can I help my husband calm down from anger, or deal with it more constructively? My husband, 26, gets extremely frustrated by other people, particularly on days that have already been taxing.   
If at work he gets treated unfairly, or someone screws him up in a multiplayer video game, he goes on an incredibly nasty rant rampage. Face-to-face with people he's the sweetest and most tolerating person, but if there's a barrier between them (the internet, on the phone, or just a theoretical someone) he starts spouting out the most horrible things.  
""Those fucking krauts should all die, fuck all of them!"" is something he might say after losing a game to someone he thinks might be german for example.

And these rants go on, it's not just a single sentence. 

During the rampage he feels like the only way he'll feel better is payback. If his game got ruined, he wants to ruin someone else's. He has said he needs someone to blame, or otherwise it's his own fault and he ""can't have that"". When I've tried to ask him to move away from what's making him so angry, he always responds by saying ""What else am I supposed to do??"" 

After the initial rampage is fading and either I've begged him to stop saying hateful things or he gets banned from the game, he usually goes to bed and keeps sighing loudly, saying there's nothing he can do. I think what he means isn't that he's helpless but that he feels like his life is meaningless and there's no point in doing anything.

Eventually, usually the day after, he apologizes and we move on.

But today for the first time he threw items around. He tossed his dinner plate off his desk, and later slammed his phone on the floor. He has NEVER showed any signs of physical expression like that and although it didn't scare me, it hurt awfully to see him get so lost in anger. I went to talk to him and he said many times how he wants to kill someone, anyone. Again, not scary because he's not a violent person and physically weaker than me, but extremely hurtful to listen to.

He has a history with being bullied at school and one suicide attempt many years ago. He received some therapy back then and is still on medication.

\- - - 

So what can I do? I've tried to ask him to move away from the source. When he's cooling down I hug him and I tell him I love him no matter what, because I don't want him to feel personally responsible for getting overrun by the feeling of anger. It seems to calm him, but only once the initial burst is over.

To me it almost looks like self harm. Maybe it's just because of my own experience with it, but the way he spirals from being angry to being in a blind ranting rage just makes it look like he's doing it to himself. 

It's just awful to deal with. I'm open to any advice.",4.576493836822539,5.7380830297397765,5.350538055175111,81.91864018783019,70.00371747211896,7.9679906084914895,28.47016239483467,8.288913261614885,1.9228319702602232,2162,77,418,31,38,703,259,538,0.23,0.6779999999999999,0.092,-0.9985,1,0,1,0,0,2,70.0,1,0,2,6,19,34,11,1,24,3,32,9,0,4,3,79,73,37,3,8,23,2,5,5,0,4,3,8,1,4,27,23,1,4,9,6,1,7,10,21,1,2,8,18,37,12,70,57,11,58,0,7,4,5,84,25,3,15,29,257,64,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725093936430484,0.06577564854364062,0.0,0.0743026440030568,0.0,0.08188381767610514,0.0,0.06174205760658497,0.0,0.0,0.10091988974986536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05188380520179245,0.0,0.061061972443925375,0.06605556459768343,0.138737817955759,0.0,0.1394305547384842,0.05705680344286858,0.0,0.135698660036942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562569155455839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570837943281726,0.15299813003704305,0.0,0.0,0.07701002264132507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397259842214765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258385233178863,0.0,0.0,0.1875939537228809,0.10601993209362907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311623380185738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371972164401376,0.193837567243014,0.0,0.04217074033236184,0.0,0.05934616537271889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325917153721499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973607628963416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886967849798198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595419975496983,0.08209358475341813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0524111089551702,0.1812568906095624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462208322476033,0.08301312429367302,0.08100031319032935,0.0,0.06697025563160025,0.0,0.0990609016481776,0.15045848347364785,0.0745459420811164,0.08082779574311698,0.0,0.07475076837203071,0.0,0.15743331789436502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365951382868068,0.0,0.055019886818839486,0.057229202605143574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119887721500641,0.0,0.0,0.07902277154566949,0.05028123579977591,0.11286801966156068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288473012598004,0.19437112842934545,0.0,0.0,0.0701449303385576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116630114059242,0.23603382348389054,0.07428920609255674,0.07509644555069415,0.059129434352255136,0.06755076802442596,0.07740893080040044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772269847035684,0.057124370494778524,0.0,0.0,0.05252059954454258,0.0,0.059257860470983165,0.06203624418933725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116500947933199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05964080460499418,0.06485587048562866,0.0,0.08485652167377973,0.0,0.09859310223687087,0.09509136700477876,0.0,0.0,0.08653563508240028,0.0,0.07033487607246533,0.0,0.0,0.1007566551348322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634461704365316,0.0,0.13129889139285958,0.11779628182737364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878605244319395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401998297036188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047783693430163005
mentalhealth,itsjacksonokay,2019/03/14,False memories? so i have a memory of taking a picture of funny picture of an awkward charmander  plush but i realized i never did and it was all fake (and it was in a country i’ve never been in.) i have another false memory. I only have two i can think of should i be considered? i’m only 14. ,-0.8168458781361991,1.3372735161290343,3.464408602150538,82.49439068100361,96.09677419354836,7.27168458781362,21.405017921146953,8.167268648758528,1.970854480286739,226,9,45,7,9,86,38,62,0.106,0.858,0.036000000000000004,-0.594,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,10,0,0,0,3,9,13,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,0,7,0,6,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,37,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37732726622361695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5550669539534987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5473543664810329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27055751540117984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305731734320587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515147946254231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TruMu92,2019/03/14,"I don’t know what to do at this point After school, other than doing my homework all I do is lay in bed and listen to music. I’ll just sit there, in the dark, for hours on end doing nothing but wasting my time listening to music knowing damn well that I have better things to do. This has resulted in me being overweight and anti-social which has caused me to lose the small amount of friends that I did have. Now I’m friendless and fat, I skip lunch everyday to sit the the library alone doing my homework. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I think I might have depression but I’m not sure, I tried talking to my parents about it but they don’t seem to think that it’s a problem or that I have any form of depression, mostly because my dad doesn’t believe that mental illnesses are real, he thinks that people who have mental illnesses are just afflicted with demons. I’m losing hope, I want to get in shape and talk to more people, be more productive but I don’t know how to start, I have no will to do anything. (For clarification I’m 16, almost 17. And yes, I know that hormones play a big part in how we perceive things and it makes us moody, no need to tell me)",5.099179456906729,4.816390830578513,5.828288075560803,84.06438016528928,68.3801652892562,8.567178276269184,28.85596221959858,7.957251820313856,1.6805020070838257,919,28,195,10,14,301,135,242,0.208,0.6990000000000001,0.093,-0.9864,1,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,0,1,3,8,13,1,0,6,1,29,5,1,5,2,42,51,13,0,4,8,2,0,0,1,2,4,2,3,0,19,8,3,0,11,1,0,0,8,7,1,0,1,2,25,6,29,46,7,20,1,4,0,0,13,11,1,6,7,135,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340267093300771,0.13862333961579532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101937697245456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014325723760893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159083753243895,0.0,0.0,0.15079779118030126,0.0,0.1183752692058474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749596713881287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305614790275708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854718655730735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340852770011837,0.0,0.06992863209836764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293855876463906,0.131810635119573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36778931481699295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994772535909208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934276060640216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26976911356987954,0.14198868572852952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924457570768233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842815150334266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861933873026542,0.14494139005233134,0.0,0.1855829224398914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12652704780031246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807185228871742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234522578207665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354585642891897,0.0,0.12184771178076435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473637477433773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614758800197573,0.0,0.0,0.2151595246779274,0.11698667010515633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17784170715254818,0.2572879439826835,0.0,0.0,0.07804625639839505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087215611244882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099938628435811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894541119940134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034297669038573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whyme1133,2019/03/14,"Where can I go to talk to someone without it showing up on my medical record? I don't even think I'm mentally ill. I just have some problems/insecurities that I'd like to talk to someone about. Problem is, I'm a Pilot who is currently at University and is looking to fly for the airlines one day. The Aviation Industry isn't exactly very lenient on things such as mental health. I'm afraid that any FAA medical examiner is going to see the psychiatrist/psychologist visit on my medical record and think something's suspicious. So is there any kind of counseling I can seek that doesn't involve me compromising any government info?  ",7.334873949579832,7.756950218487398,8.492100840336139,64.45731092436978,63.62184873949579,12.514285714285714,40.52941176470589,12.031772070788634,5.420257142857144,512,28,86,17,7,176,81,119,0.093,0.885,0.022,-0.784,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,4,0,11,5,0,0,1,11,20,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,1,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,2,7,2,16,20,1,11,0,0,2,0,5,6,0,1,3,54,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477732899907191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993808414948036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125928407802828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376236132216412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812000508845143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17751671706214853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328230155226925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431506118235394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5151872581412524,0.3435843197523004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115513871726893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311533839339115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358413290048965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888748246396179,0.1312349845992203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274032256496794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325170099535528,0.2184586714269635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065437072353193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432555703033822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alanaldasnemesis,2019/03/14,"Helpful Sign First time here so thank you to the SAMHAA for moderating such an important topic.

I notice every time I head into a bad depression, my comments on social media increase and become negative and combative.  Otherwise, it's not always clear until I'm in the middle of it (which I am now).  Anyway, in case somebody notices they do the same thing, it can be a helpful sign that perception may have changed and to be more aware of it.",5.195,6.585198023809526,6.165238095238099,75.79642857142859,68.76190476190476,8.933333333333335,30.66666666666667,9.2995712137729,2.9042523809523817,350,14,60,7,6,116,66,84,0.139,0.723,0.138,-0.28300000000000003,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,1,5,3,0,0,6,0,7,1,1,0,1,11,9,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,6,1,10,6,3,11,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,1,5,49,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19818788131738035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988734028492092,0.0,0.2630551336257436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519667247897209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20514723289534686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20068000197517766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20259889512636567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24444514584666216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192989662797016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5423473394002732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427982409292125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21928750838870129,0.0,0.0,0.15823863669510516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777736091128544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Decaf_Covfefe727,2019/03/14,"Dreaming about my ex every single night even though it’s been a full month since we broke up? The first three weeks since we broke up, nothing, but this last week I’ve dreamed about her every night and it’s so painful... What’s going on and how can I stop this?",1.8505555555555588,3.7812896111111085,1.7331111111111106,101.87300000000002,78.81481481481481,4.32,18.20740740740741,3.1291,-1.0151659259259258,205,4,48,0,5,60,41,54,0.134,0.866,0.0,-0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,2,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,7,3,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,2,1,0,5,0,5,2,2,13,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,8,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549300781807552,0.0,0.3952676362625193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995235838095664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331050882139056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19120438342298493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872300924962476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402527151625617,0.0,0.2250745060256955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495970939792327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3880744638397917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961095113120914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23046205712194726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763129084757951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pleaseimsohungry,2019/03/14,my anxiety feels like physical pain. I don't know how else to describe it. I couldn't sleep last night because of the horrible feeling in my stomach and the horrible thoughts in my head kept making me burst out in fits of crying. I have a new job and its been making my anxiety and depression make a sudden spike it hasn't made in a very very long time. Everyday my stomach has this constant horrible feeling and my whole body feels uncomfortable and awful. I feel so bad and I don't know what to do,4.505757142857141,5.588691890000002,5.439428571428577,81.50900000000003,70.1,9.314285714285717,31.285714285714285,9.606745405546679,2.8766714285714285,399,17,79,9,7,131,62,100,0.29600000000000004,0.655,0.049,-0.9816,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,5,1,8,6,5,5,0,22,21,8,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,8,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,5,12,1,9,16,1,14,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,9,48,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262066807926579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430167457443843,0.10441442175526383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19026025255165765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509943248910016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18814974691181927,0.0,0.0,0.14752847402829306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14308756447066745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330370144574586,0.12236682994225925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578896308476394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997503253564766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18826873112615328,0.13962103945768453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368174048440401,0.0,0.0,0.15158281572178828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207505712963005,0.34300442190071445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654291906773511,0.0,0.1607404093322569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822604957225505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17140980900630984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598203708862733,0.09987830715380916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282657955640109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19123482285635532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,princessgirl87,2019/03/14,Alternatives to toxic positivity? Hello!  I'm having a sort of a difficult time trying to find a new group or page to join with refreshing philosophies and/or beliefs because I'm tired of toxic positivity all over social media and it's not for me.  I'm looking for realistic optimist related things. Any suggestions?  ,4.936309523809527,8.118443821428574,7.225000000000001,59.88666666666669,75.07142857142857,10.161904761904765,32.54761904761905,10.125756701596842,4.7041047619047625,258,13,36,9,6,91,44,56,0.093,0.6990000000000001,0.209,0.7997,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,8,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,9,5,2,3,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,2,20,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587002368100407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319019278450935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476991273283873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194589542449348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674142670621768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877926684729061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527356991741965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182732604852134,0.4372395180720341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25828179765330617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imsodumbithurtsalot,2019/03/14,"I can't even cry anymore I used to cry a lot when I waa exhausted with everything in my life. I don't remember when I was ever happy with no big tensions in life, big as in BIG. I'm tired. I know everyone has problems and I'm not in any way special but fuck this man. Every single thing in my life is wrong right now, has been from a long time. A guy broke my heart on top of that and I blame it on myself not him. I was wrong to even state seeing him. And then again I got myself into a friends with benefits kind of situation with someone else who just uses me. Like we're not even friends. He'll text me sometime and whenever he wants to. Then he'll suddenly stop replying and make me super mad. I can't even say anything because it's not like we're in a relationship. But I'm done. Every man has hurt me, will hurt me. That's all I know about men, they hurt you, they take everything away from you, they take and take until you're left with nothing and then they leave you alone with so many pieces of yourself to pick up and be whole again. But that never happens. You can never be whole again. I've been trying to fix myself from what my dad made me go through and I still couldn't. I'm 23 now and still. I'm just so done. ",0.7663615092132191,2.6697211977186335,2.443212927756658,95.56256142146827,82.26996197718631,5.719157648435215,19.621088037437847,6.8449194561589275,0.06096911377595804,957,25,225,11,26,314,137,263,0.196,0.6990000000000001,0.105,-0.9775,0,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,4,4,2,19,20,2,1,5,0,18,7,1,5,4,43,40,22,0,3,9,1,0,2,2,3,5,1,0,4,9,17,0,1,3,0,0,1,11,11,0,0,8,2,35,9,32,26,6,40,0,4,1,1,23,17,1,1,22,146,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046661792152309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872327884078823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002229254759002,0.0,0.0,0.08316257517191768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949478335337898,0.0,0.0,0.061604353546522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22201614170908374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20683596503875146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442145023244718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669928743277441,0.09141324338202036,0.1702923724909929,0.0965657744445349,0.1816498152961973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561551687131695,0.09342700021734944,0.0,0.0,0.057433902354956615,0.0,0.0808257535982164,0.0,0.0,0.1000638520223428,0.08936574122786912,0.10757870470473907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975486727447192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32455580089784314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523692759057694,0.11107827136404112,0.0,0.0,0.10700641180597607,0.10980040930242,0.0,0.21414192568036766,0.0987442048622874,0.0,0.0,0.08943363583614898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591636456625262,0.0,0.09562404266231672,0.06745736626408362,0.1024575070320608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15588516627266702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696840343614142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669938324404702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849906163898618,0.11447963595597485,0.0863034487662585,0.0,0.08036581444621743,0.0,0.0,0.0805305795470022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135940433879834,0.0,0.0,0.08562658071435872,0.0,0.09994948913118376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614109757253805,0.08448947215907437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22795035611955702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713880954088003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058928052677945215,0.11615193588995593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861212118897947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745642785247975,0.0,0.0,0.05960695060238705,0.08021557239603973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22565652214715276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22098331803211071,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,auddg,2019/03/14,"Concerned whether or not action should be taken - Sometimes when doing mundane tasks, it feels like someone is screaming at me in my head. The closest thing I can describe this as is imagine the feeling you get when someone is screaming in anger at you, but it’s as if you can’t really hear it. It’s extremely uncomfortable and I often have to put on music to drown the feeling out. Its started to happen when the room is silent and I’m working on something and then I start to feel this buzzing in my head as if people are screaming but I can’t actually hear anything. It sounds so scary but it doesn’t happen super often, it’s just been a few times in the past week or so. I have a history of mild depression as well as a family history of mental illness so I’d like to nip this in the bud if it’s a sign of something more serious. I’ve googled online for answers and haven’t found anything, so if anyone has any input here I’d love to hear it. ",2.803288461538461,4.4164863641025685,4.291330128205129,86.00314903846153,75.1025641025641,6.7211538461538485,28.08493589743589,7.413659706084162,1.5855705128205124,751,31,151,9,16,250,109,195,0.161,0.736,0.102,-0.9274,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,2,12,11,1,0,10,0,17,4,2,0,0,28,33,27,1,5,12,0,4,2,1,1,1,7,1,0,14,5,0,0,7,0,0,2,5,6,1,0,3,11,11,5,25,28,2,23,0,1,0,1,8,12,0,8,11,107,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.14132725284863928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984852304511928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126425077649558,0.0,0.23835548940251985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247366283449184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652710087434916,0.0,0.2929092976132265,0.10346223594318583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879195093774282,0.0,0.0,0.07566451975856338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25613462476545035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972622431007799,0.0,0.4896812431407901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415073019742233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070924028159164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594844637633606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825081688125607,0.10040266969652968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558803820598154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927779102873238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24541767146873106,0.22298505503728366,0.14323455802171853,0.0,0.20501422910387154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621457592515054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444799121812245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616901136070873,0.0,0.1302140949187333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543353713508588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RalucaD13,2019/03/14,"Am i bipolar or just a bitch? Hey, (23F)

I know that I should probably go to a doctor but at the moment I don't have the money and I don't want to worry my parents for no reason. I was never diagnosed with anything, but I've never went to a psichiatrist or psycholog (in my country this is still sort of a tabuu topic). I have noticed that sometimes I'm mean with my family or friends without any reason, I feel like whatever they do annoys me and I find joy in not helping them, but then I feel bad about it and try to change whatever I did/didn't. Lately my bf for 6 years suggested that I might have a mental disorder. He says I am actively trying to destroy him and ruin his life, but I just can't see it. I feel like everything I do, I do out of love. I think I might have lose it cause when he tried to break un with me I cut my arms and then said I would kill myself. After it happened I realised that it was stupid and I told him that, but I can't seem to stop these psychotic moments when I'd do anything not to lose him. And this happens only when we talk, cause if I am with someone else I can detach and see what I'm doing wrong. It's like there are two me, but at the same time just one... I can't concentrate and I lose interest very fast... Are these simptoms or am I just a horrible person? ",2.283975676601578,3.3050836942446047,4.174295991778006,88.71344124700241,75.36690647482014,7.309626584446727,24.389174374785885,7.793537801064563,1.10081959575197,1009,31,226,14,21,344,149,278,0.211,0.667,0.122,-0.9822,1,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,1,0,2,3,10,19,6,0,9,0,28,6,1,4,2,55,47,25,1,4,18,1,3,3,2,4,4,2,0,1,16,15,0,1,10,0,1,2,11,12,0,2,5,7,45,7,24,38,1,24,0,4,2,1,21,5,1,9,19,161,61,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495504373508342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140736484865186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203113935630228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264576307395787,0.11660073408537283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187346366955883,0.0,0.0,0.12632447363246144,0.11281734515941265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207671113905876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990608282932745,0.0,0.10390791360469467,0.0,0.1671953432440746,0.15748587650194382,0.0,0.0,0.10074131982602844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515758923167165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264195677953056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949386919582619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738797829197182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194480693178608,0.0,0.060575374374946464,0.0,0.12433572131105475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785337407077866,0.16154736034609796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699321735749208,0.0,0.0,0.09948006190371428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006455773885355,0.0,0.0,0.1110783021077172,0.23385719618559456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002069244524556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548898660348135,0.0,0.0,0.07468958275256685,0.0838291378537284,0.0,0.0,0.12238898358728036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962419893532668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883844040769492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22665406633827956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048467879041374,0.08765331396043059,0.0,0.0,0.1756660396236686,0.10034237619876267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933911217652955,0.0,0.10901281858921848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802378865571323,0.09215090123259458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859262784854294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062609353159317,0.0,0.0,0.06427159530515822,0.0,0.0,0.10532227170899194,0.0,0.22450141922322525,0.0,0.10767131489504883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094506230821513,0.06501205508060177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021773127581171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625050573317156,0.0,0.0,0.11193624538231296,0.0,0.07829886400247586,0.12051094292367967,0.0,0.07097964216486799
mentalhealth,_unapologetically_me,2019/03/14,"How to get over seasonal depression? I live in a very snowy part of Canada and every winter I feel a seasonal depression. It always starts around Februrary and ends whenever it's middle of spring and it's already warm.

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I have difficulty keeping afloat in all I do, cause I have little to none motivation. I can't force myself to go to class or work, I just want to stay in bed. I barely pass my classes and I realize I need help. But I don't know what to do to get energy.

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What are your tips to get over seasonal depression?",3.453611111111112,5.307436398148152,5.041851851851857,80.28833333333334,73.9074074074074,8.874074074074073,26.814814814814817,9.444778638647367,2.51065925925926,433,16,83,11,9,146,68,108,0.14800000000000002,0.7759999999999999,0.076,-0.8635,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,3,1,18,17,7,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,2,14,1,16,17,3,18,0,3,0,0,2,8,0,1,7,55,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751059140575778,0.0,0.13203340708614286,0.3438566551050504,0.3856240277352067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125770324021011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16300675619512486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41000924880100215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054224817558406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369366592301796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023272893370667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487092469848773,0.0,0.09018077371028388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635900166236684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104093777982482,0.0,0.0,0.08720567507411944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903776450870685,0.14011621748204522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765826076730168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718335913590117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123136152063273,0.16913040336044688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092656273414516,0.09359282067606248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551999850344467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856240277352067,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayadvicepup,2019/03/14,"Online friend attempted suicide. What can I do to help? Hello, I recently found out an online friend attempted suicide. They’re still recovering so I haven’t  been able to talk with them. They’re pretty important to me so I want to know what I can do to help or make them feel better when I can eventually communicate with them again. This is my first time dealing with a situation like this so I don’t really know what to do. Thank you for your assistance.",2.283370786516855,4.9227124494382055,3.923696629213485,82.78352247191012,81.80898876404495,8.054382022471911,22.38314606741573,8.841846274778883,1.927349662921348,364,12,71,10,10,121,55,89,0.09,0.647,0.263,0.9252,0,0,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,2,3,4,6,5,0,0,2,0,10,0,0,1,0,11,17,5,2,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,14,5,11,15,0,7,0,0,0,0,12,1,0,1,7,50,19,0,0.2113234307837244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868984015117562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178651779573128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068514761628945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975160227001133,0.0,0.23170523433350484,0.3265359168261404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832912822951793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322756619471478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324195392213092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106003100146894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499190125178905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537920100575862,0.0,0.20865639365027924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375363903055698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687631648014862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4623070681933256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985376887467085,0.0,0.19455822286731686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322439190800308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464403467753687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dmparks1011,2019/03/14,"I don’t post on here, but I need for someone to hear me out I feel like dying. Not even a slow & painful death. I’d rather make it quick. I was hoping these thoughts would never come back to haunt me but they have and it’s louder than ever. I have no one to talk to. I feel like now that I’m an adult it has progressively gotten worse. Unexpected bills, my car has been repossessed, I’m a step closer to being evicted. I can’t talk to anyone about it because I’m pretty sure I’ll get the same sob story. ‘It’s called life’ ‘It happens’ ‘That’s nothing to be sad about’ I know... but once you’ve failed at literally everything at life the simplest thing can draw you to the edge & I’m starting to feel like this is my edge. I’m currently in school & I also work but managing money is hard when you do it alone & without help. In middle school it was me wanting to fit in. In high school it was me wanting to graduate. Now that I’m older I’m just trying to be successful. All of this is rambled & not really well written so I apologize. I just need advice, help, a friend, something.. I feel like the older I get the more my depression is eating at my brain. I haven’t had more than 4 hours of sleep since 2016...... Please help me. ",0.18714908456843915,2.4292015173745227,2.1564179848050813,94.48302403786276,87.88030888030889,5.195217337152822,18.393448748287454,6.6834051587181325,0.005983086312118857,959,26,215,12,31,318,144,259,0.163,0.682,0.155,-0.3409,2,1,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,2,1,4,16,14,0,0,9,0,22,6,2,1,4,31,49,8,2,7,10,0,5,4,1,1,3,1,0,1,16,3,1,0,6,0,2,3,8,5,1,1,8,6,26,9,29,37,4,30,0,4,0,0,13,13,1,1,17,130,42,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543826817754564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115271577339333,0.0,0.07810361493855555,0.0,0.5291063673049415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829046922246514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509926969105278,0.0,0.059536401456681626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902776551003772,0.0997280972748387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413077266285038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411974426892127,0.0,0.10136208322721607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993689230610499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450759579859007,0.08834465817970705,0.0,0.0,0.08777607186348799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753183596626966,0.2790909757466166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545665426894158,0.0,0.10205310399638344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636588714786897,0.0,0.08748972049606123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007689158843302,0.0,0.1963907605018588,0.1031896894460592,0.0,0.09700456133370963,0.09618152143148484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053674782513947326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796903326954382,0.19085906380828704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519293861392425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448364811644797,0.07532618480723463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371334107463444,0.0,0.0,0.10401130231533212,0.06618113633911883,0.0,0.10392370958549632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072081453800098,0.0,0.0,0.09353721029376448,0.099361624418279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625674606627488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965301880028087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079047963793462,0.0,0.09773672095347608,0.0,0.08275224381541825,0.07518820275332459,0.0,0.0,0.06912863026897055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204922598192132,0.0,0.0,0.15700076412821407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648850752914879,0.0,0.0,0.07753604353603337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630893040402981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152120957812619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781363189074141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941467196211602,0.0,0.07110214777207863,0.0,0.0995301890210747,0.06937925749180722,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cacti38,2019/03/14,"How do you explain something that doesn't have exact words? My one and only best friend & I had some misunderstanding last week. We were in a gathering and I cannot explain to her my discomfort, just that I really want to leave the place but she was asked to stay a bit more by the host. And so I left her, cos otherwise my anxiety would just intensify.

I don't know if we're alright, we haven't talked since. 

What you guys do when you're in the position of not knowing how to explain yourself to someone important? ",3.68355769230769,5.1599702403846175,4.797307692307693,83.82269230769231,72.55769230769229,8.661538461538461,28.384615384615394,9.188382445141503,2.295907692307693,411,16,85,9,8,135,71,104,0.071,0.8190000000000001,0.11,0.6091,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,2,2,0,1,6,4,0,1,5,1,11,0,0,3,1,23,18,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,0,15,3,9,14,4,8,0,0,0,0,15,4,0,2,3,59,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25197369562202965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790425638775473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21740792089527786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440525611239135,0.0,0.2538902824905326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967173719968804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302664237361308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25561274910822057,0.1895637024568461,0.0,0.24624260674969864,0.2526721394773633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758556817954805,0.17686887289817474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24297091238567745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898095414331575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192372242930449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19704344895143586,0.1790325205443499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478731305273517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691923400190769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371672094130773,0.0,0.1865419268531285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165200694888328,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NOTAlexandria29,2019/03/14,"Not sure where to go. Lately I've been having a rough time keeping myself up and I don't know what to do. 
It's been a month since a rough breakup where he told me he was essentially using me to get what he couldn't from his ex, used me for sex, then dumped me hours later. I'd fallen for him and took it really hard and still am. I work in the same hospital as him and the ex and leaving isn't an option yet. That and getting rejected by the school I had my heart set on a couple days later set me in a rut. 
The past couple weeks it's all been coming to a peak. I have generalized anxiety and I can normally talk myself down from the panic attacks from that. Now im constantly crying, anxious at work, losing weight from barely eating, and thoughts of either self medicating or hurting myself. 
Logically, I know this isn't a solution and will do more harm than good. But it won't stop and I'm just at a loss. I'm scared of getting help because it's such a small community and I work with a lot of the healthcare providers that would be my options in seeking mental help. 

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mentalhealth,MaxiumNOR,2019/03/14,"I have an crush on this one girl, she likes someone else. Ive tried to distance myself from her but EVERYTHING reminds me of her. NO KIDDING. THE NEWS REPORTER HAS THE SAME NAME. MY MOM HAS THE SAME JACKET COLOR AS HER JACKET HER SECOUND NAME IS PLACE NEAR ME. MY SISTER HAS THE SAME COLOR EYES. I HEAR HER NAME OFTEN IN PUBLIC  HELP I CANT GET HER OUT OF MY MIND HELLPPPP ",-0.29096491228069965,1.963793763157895,1.1642105263157916,97.99614035087721,98.21052631578951,3.0596491228070177,16.859649122807017,4.7782277997778095,-0.8208035087719292,290,8,61,1,12,92,53,76,0.064,0.823,0.114,0.6186,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,7,1,1,0,0,11,9,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,17,1,9,9,3,5,0,0,3,0,17,5,0,1,1,45,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806865002570637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30197687191729305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755471420628543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786985984511918,0.0,0.22521501312279904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415357238680406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3392661690206654,0.3935214030836039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276836056493909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3510505056964535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846933475262054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281232568111726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fdafdsafdsawafv,2019/03/14,"I am attracted to everybody and I need help I'm 22 male and my mental health is actually fine for the most part, however I get extremely attached to everybody who flirts with me. I'm not gay but when guys come close to me or touch me, or even just joke and maybe flirt a little, I become extremely attracted to them and think about them all the time. Sadly one of my friends who is a massive extrovert and social guy, he flirts with everybody including me (he's not gay) and he's charming, and I'm just sad that I will never get to hug him romantically, it really makes me depressed.

I'm an extremely quiet guy and don't speak to people much, so my colleagues at work generally approach me rather than me approach them, sometimes the older ones (40+) will flirt, call me gorgeous & babe, etc. and it just really hits that spot inside of me and I think about it on a daily basis. One of my coworkers who isn't even attractive at all, she calls me gorgeous and she touches me on the shoulder, she playfully hits me sometimes and just generally flirts with me - now I'm extremely attracted to her.

Fuck sake i don't even know what to tell you guys... does anybody else feel like this? I don't even flirt back with these people, so it's not like I'm asking for it. I don't want to feel this way..",3.7911796733212335,4.9564762567049865,5.048594474692479,83.33348457350273,71.87356321839081,8.866384351683806,27.146803791086914,9.276330184999452,2.1485432950191563,1017,35,211,22,19,338,131,261,0.087,0.7240000000000001,0.189,0.9809,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,3,1,16,24,1,0,8,0,10,6,1,1,3,43,31,18,0,3,11,0,4,2,1,2,1,2,0,6,14,18,0,0,5,2,0,3,9,4,0,3,0,6,35,20,25,27,6,16,0,3,0,4,29,6,1,3,8,134,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.12013084976874505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338213743743413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508476356333396,0.0,0.0,0.09465867101926087,0.0,0.0,0.1359576818641822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25140402004310003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604240447144804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060285037621988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772833624945513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028368284002752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729247676847592,0.3252336974280684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244892337401078,0.08794486606302826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095109135442216,0.11380681524482182,0.12863255844469254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.487565619929953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085281913777974,0.0,0.0,0.08251340066751985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765423420120732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028389494595294,0.12338162806220505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217226285183886,0.0,0.12367359160495067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405895205785268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049492936809306,0.09127937514264037,0.0949446855626821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502535019918519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330864102085524,0.0,0.17068835325926124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577259725627209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254880889129564,0.0,0.0,0.2435041907993237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759751927067056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15775896795708416,0.0,0.0,0.07178239682590874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260938699446066,0.09771349616487472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962050952569937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pangolin007,2019/03/14,"I think I might have what feels like a depressive episode coming on, is there anything I can do? I'm not diagnosed with depression or anything and I'm not trying to self-diagnose but looking at my behavior over the past few years I feel like I might have depression. I'm usually fine but every so often I get really demotivated for a few weeks and don't want to do anything and usually my grades in school drop. I also lash out at my family a lot more and argue more :/

Also over winter break (I'm a freshman in college) I thought about suicide sorta seriously for the first time ever but I couldn't think of a way to kill myself and then the feelings went away and I felt great til now. I thought that was just a temporary thing but the past week or so I've been feeling pretty meh and sleeping a lot, and I skipped class today for the first time. I'm not as bad right now as I've been before but I have a lot of important stuff coming up that I'm worried I'll end up not doing and then feeling worse because of it. Also my closest friends struggle with some mental health issues so I just want to get over this so I can be there for them and not just drag them down or end up avoiding them because I don't feel like doing anything. 

Is there anything I can do? I know I should probably see a therapist but I don't think I could trust the school counselors, I don't want to tell anyone about winter break but I feel like it would be pointless if I didn't so there's no point.

Sorry this ended up so long I didn't mean to ramble so much.",2.1297129506008012,3.8738848629283495,3.6586415220293738,89.25108644859816,77.3177570093458,6.579483756119269,23.925344904316866,7.447530270364453,0.9841027147307516,1215,40,259,16,28,402,151,321,0.14800000000000002,0.7070000000000001,0.145,0.17600000000000002,0,1,0,0,0,3,18.0,0,0,3,2,23,17,2,2,15,0,30,3,1,0,1,66,61,36,2,8,19,0,8,4,1,4,2,0,0,0,9,15,0,1,15,0,0,3,13,9,0,2,9,10,33,8,35,44,9,49,0,3,2,0,6,18,0,12,28,183,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19778365686938712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05764453089130934,0.0,0.33920880929397723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745585437069366,0.0,0.06883463243085941,0.1005103046443292,0.0,0.07015105688625932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420309152621265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582227816696842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21301844542680534,0.1673513726837033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190542626345604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457243207588046,0.06945993770046471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777178582125948,0.0,0.2917918526923894,0.2355829232993336,0.07915610562660905,0.0,0.0,0.14024822100012727,0.0,0.0,0.0636935649657239,0.0,0.08614384075630711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089128358571733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763072546026819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604678638985823,0.0,0.0,0.09120854116022403,0.0,0.04530731292283627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16110566122693915,0.0,0.0,0.0729575222029809,0.06922951678514165,0.0,0.0,0.21026468453968952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980220996646525,0.0,0.0,0.08308094575496604,0.17491334186817745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060603480790519235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739816220138553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793321226235027,0.0,0.0,0.0838719413324219,0.08888513628469047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281369362414833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040400091855707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686900116666714,0.06569465157475506,0.0,0.08600374404753089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250034733052546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228573677818684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618503397489014,0.09437500315967408,0.09017686497795906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07205690128453454,0.0,0.0,0.09572013402841714,0.05477001065610911,0.15847422586348095,0.0,0.1308975881317408,0.09614379805616416,0.0,0.07814424791564,0.0,0.0,0.05597189813695645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181593809169366,0.0,0.14587717634536346,0.06543767732792305,0.1322580893582153,0.0,0.0,0.07642345640477295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372264388416867,0.08401422806091667,0.05856358577174554,0.0,0.0,0.05308917843097457
mentalhealth,leafyboi212,2019/03/14,"Former Stalker (I am still a student so I am sorry if my grammar is wrong here) 

I need advice here. I used to be friends with this one guy G, all my friends hated him but I never listened to them. But later we got in a fight over a silly toy, me and my friend M (I'm not going to use real names)  M said to G that is was loud and she was going to break it, he later tried to beat her up. I was appalled and unfriended him permanently, Later he started saying if I wasn't friends with him he would kill himself, I realized it was a bribe and my friend J later almost got punched in the face by G, J was lucky and it missed. G later started to stalk me around the middle school for two weeks, after I left every classroom he would be there clicking a fidget cube, the same one that started the whole fight, I was terrified. I reported him to the teachers and he now doesn't talk to me at all, but I'm still scared. I have nightmares and I still don't feel safe, I'm jumpy all the time and now all my friends are hanging out with him, I'm scared because I don't want them to get hurt, they don't believe me and I feel like if they get hurt it will be my fault because I didn't warn them enough. I just want to feel safe and sleep peacefully again. I know it happened a year ago but still, I want to be less jumpy and I wish I could be less irritable. Please if you know anything that could help, it would be appreciated.  ",2.902347729789593,3.564191571428573,4.112956810631228,91.103942414175,73.48504983388705,6.796456256921374,24.96456256921373,6.655083550727371,0.6552874861572535,1097,32,254,8,21,360,146,301,0.213,0.644,0.142,-0.973,0,0,0,0,2,0,29.0,1,1,5,1,13,22,4,2,12,0,30,2,2,2,5,57,60,20,1,14,10,0,3,1,6,4,0,4,0,1,10,17,0,2,6,1,0,3,8,11,0,3,11,8,46,11,25,37,9,35,0,3,1,0,35,9,0,6,23,168,56,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818090724289964,0.08906312029439897,0.0,0.10060904707987044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268059559425504,0.0894421389395288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249463492192253,0.0,0.0,0.11319849713712785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604387920686088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381531324808993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465271039050579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524062771270527,0.07177782488449383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4657504530482368,0.0,0.1049858356469664,0.0,0.1142020733291008,0.0,0.16071463475103293,0.0,0.0,0.099483918884903,0.08884781039028412,0.0,0.0,0.09919613947946113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673448341997893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21511653021270385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115832342483248,0.0,0.11043450271920466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916404667423824,0.0,0.0,0.049085959956251785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744993459863694,0.07749085670501119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616600829455286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028901905110756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436010083150508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557268942516188,0.07990004386100856,0.20118170311637232,0.10168388927895873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054541136797457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124711309466958,0.213345603368671,0.0,0.3209509946231397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807562718513537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058586527443986514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821447066980257,0.0,0.09814737622550698,0.0,0.0,0.17355256842485853,0.0,0.0,0.17778447218023022,0.0,0.08059326070463586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217435013457246,0.11553882025160302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141190920935113,0.10985129015977944,0.0,0.06470122196146325
mentalhealth,Raventhous,2019/03/14,"How do I stop getting angry over the little things? I am 18 male, studying for the university exam and today I solved a question correctly but selected the wrong answer on the exam paper. It makes me so mad that I don't know what to do... ",4.821249999999999,5.1344136250000005,6.629166666666666,76.0325,69.0,8.9,28.5,8.841846274778883,2.2464499999999994,186,6,35,3,3,65,39,48,0.26,0.71,0.03,-0.9189,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,5,0,4,0,0,2,1,9,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,4,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,26,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20470130671724585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532511384971426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926903234237377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26153206909768106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4389099080508205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275655083275701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602970253425147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713841760554829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283759328429355,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Justh123,2019/03/14,I made A video about depression Hello everyone I made a video about how depression is sorta overused by people that aren't actually depressed. Here is the link if you want to check it out. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViaGGu1DCG0&t=0s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViaGGu1DCG0&t=0s),16.037702702702706,22.00061324324325,8.428310810810808,51.1111148648649,51.70270270270272,9.105405405405406,28.16891891891892,9.516144504307137,3.2656540540540533,258,7,28,5,4,64,30,37,0.195,0.7040000000000001,0.101,-0.6964,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,3,0,8,6,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,3,0,5,4,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.23229628914777015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5158404460629248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6150800068907182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22746093314912036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4504853629679108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650295121494515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040432735285546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jeevaschan,2019/03/14,"How do I stop the symptoms of anxiety (tightness in chest and throat) after a panic episode? So I have been having panic attacks regularly for the past day or so (about four or five so far) over the same issue. I think I’ve got the issue sorted out more or less in my head, but then suddenly I’ll feel the unwelcome physical symtoms come on and it pulls me right back into the panic. The symptoms keep making me panic about the panic and I’m not sure how to calm them? Do they mean that I’m simply not done panicking and need to give it a bit more time or what? I feel like that can’t be the case because they seem to be around constantly. I’m shaking and my chest is tight right now as I type this and I’m actually pretty clear headed at the moment being. 

P,S. Please don’t suggest seeing a therapist. I can’t afford one right now and that has been one of the million things that have making things worse. ",4.370490196078432,4.782330251336898,5.379478609625669,84.25000222816399,70.01604278074865,8.158467023172907,25.743761140819963,8.07648339933343,1.3741162210338675,715,19,149,9,12,236,113,187,0.172,0.731,0.097,-0.9235,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,0,11,11,1,6,14,0,16,7,5,4,2,36,33,19,0,1,7,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,11,0,4,5,0,0,3,5,8,0,5,4,5,13,3,18,26,5,27,0,0,1,0,5,12,0,6,13,103,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.1067261312427276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366523271857884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735955773040904,0.0,0.12442041970745946,0.0,0.0840962480987314,0.0,0.06666893044904368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940012004692105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420973545680096,0.0,0.11818655874662408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053247935602425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192011419384393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059818792616316,0.07813159846646531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049145124783262,0.0,0.0,0.0874705476953301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22448359061121376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283008588020567,0.0,0.09721015568811152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534310494893719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600625445536428,0.0,0.0,0.11913240759961174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109402863611638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821942434131502,0.0,0.0,0.6415913407606031,0.0,0.0,0.10440289844652774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005180382141982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126526067360774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801957146891512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715110698768758,0.09956334397054284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143546549508033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030768285406389,0.227347771971684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698317810687745,0.1453167630541665,0.0700777708278793,0.0,0.0,0.06377260728037155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114540195086229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arabidopsisgal,2019/03/14,"if I’m admitted into a psych hospital, when/will they call emergency contacts? Am seriously considering going to a local psychiatric facility for the first time after several very bad days. I know I will have to do some paperwork and probably give an emergency contact.

Does anyone know or have experience with if or when the hospital calls the contact? For example, if I am voluntarily admitted would they even call? Would my contact be notified upon my admission or release? Just trying to think about who I would put down and am worried about putting my family vs my friends down.",7.374725274725272,8.893222076923083,8.471593406593406,60.78769230769231,63.80769230769231,13.250549450549451,39.85714285714286,12.540900571622839,6.122864285714287,472,26,72,19,7,161,69,104,0.129,0.8170000000000001,0.055,-0.8382,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,5,3,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,0,0,21,19,9,0,6,8,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,10,1,13,14,1,13,0,0,0,0,14,5,0,7,5,54,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408861048832233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481770041276806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5436390095885301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144511256423529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530201416623768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721486204045785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17359616058827665,0.16729949722226434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095280157782234,0.0,0.0,0.1371100753434346,0.0,0.0,0.17024191066292824,0.10085822639172674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950617489161308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913387598804324,0.0,0.0,0.3568054318512628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004864815363374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371328254707935,0.0,0.0,0.10348206606411932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048801436696165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642833900886318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18022571066774715,0.0,0.37820104724237735,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sessymessytwentytwo,2019/03/14,"Need some perspective to be open and accepting of starting a mood stabilizer I’ve been seeing a therapist for a few months now and we pretty much came to the conclusion that once I’m in an emotional state (which is easy to do) It’s very difficult for me to control it from boiling to a point where I’m lost. 

I spoke to him about a few times I’ve lost it recently. 

He mentioned mood stabilizers and if it will help me balance out my emotions I’ll be happy. 

But I’m also scared to become dependent on them or not having a good reaction to them. 

What have been your experiences with mood stabilizers? 

Thank you in advance for sharing ",3.7473809523809534,5.417068658730159,5.2446349206349225,79.90314285714291,72.73015873015873,9.166984126984126,29.266666666666666,9.642632912329526,2.8205295238095243,505,21,99,13,10,170,88,126,0.095,0.74,0.165,0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,2,2,5,4,12,0,1,8,0,9,1,0,2,0,18,20,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,8,1,1,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,6,2,10,5,19,11,4,15,0,2,1,0,11,7,0,4,5,67,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949378271541594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064576872205566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21380660131862247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096662058021896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4205588601066656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828606617097444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567942339694971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899835366047186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530020836584488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081285407937281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492116606455578,0.0,0.1374205088403042,0.13861172406361733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19908224530334734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767162800709463,0.0,0.0,0.19018255560543046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18457814437088052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871569632578876,0.0,0.14896491636667894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231526403705962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210685529787742,0.0,0.21704874625790452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900470961714484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424294450684842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ap0kalyps3,2019/03/14,"Small question regarding a problem So I have this quirk I don't know anybody else has. Basically I noticed it while playing video games. When I finish a game, I hardly ever go back to it, because everything seems familiar and I'm like ""hey, I've done this already"" and I turn off the game. Sometimes it's the same with movies.    

The main problem with this is, that know in my job I have to rework some graphics I've done a few months back and I just can't stand looking at the project. I have no ideas or motivation to work on this project anymore.    

Can anybody relate? How can I get at least the motivation back to work on it? It's a strange feeling, I really can't describe it that good, it's just really really hard to focus.",2.519152276295131,4.422055054421771,3.991428571428575,86.58626373626373,76.68707482993196,6.972056514913657,27.63422291993721,7.882392219407189,1.7152379905808486,571,24,117,9,13,189,86,147,0.083,0.816,0.101,0.3588,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,9,5,0,0,9,0,12,0,0,3,1,22,21,8,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,13,5,0,0,8,5,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,4,12,3,13,19,5,17,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,4,9,79,25,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761700896827255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583230210228476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3682669835680985,0.0,0.09731692938847863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32674056046174377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336129409977154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440629012788547,0.0,0.0,0.14347689108741768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072032933789551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083406911339084,0.0,0.0907288316200121,0.13390102694391898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860176545244452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18021758618995135,0.0,0.0,0.15842110659624542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754713046824748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799353664873589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340599657004072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274255697204693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18175468521496807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055137018510811,0.0,0.0,0.17883676647559038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068143019576034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533304868701571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578910712673661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736458097720617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324441022569729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Emoticonica,2019/03/14,"Cant feel anymore Im a 24m and I feel like i havnt had a real emotion in years , im not particularly depressed atleast not 'sad' just empty , so empty. Ive think ive genuinly forgotten how to laugh and everything i do and think feels so fake to me. 
3-4 years ago my dad was caught being involved in CP and it completely fkd me up (dark turn sorry), my parents went through a divorce and i shut myself away from the world bevause i couldnt even begin to understand how the man i used to admire could do what he did. I stopped seeing friends and eventually (now regrettably) began smoking weed (almost exclusively alone) which gradually became a daily habit to forget everything! (Stopped several months ago)

I feel like my isolation completely killed my personality (not like im not who i used to be , i feel like i literally dont have a personality anymore). I was a very social person before all this happened, and friends with close to everyone i was in regular contact with.  I was happy-go-lucky to a stupid degree and genuinly laughed out loud to movies, forum posts, articles , all of which sont register anything anymore.


I have to so consciously think of everything im going to say now , my spontaneity is gone , my humour is gone , im gone.

My smiles are fake and my laugh is fake not because im masking sadness there is nothing beneath the mask. I cant even express how much i miss laughing , like really laughing its been years , how did i forget how to?! 
Ive got a somewhat convincing fake laugh so im not just sitting emotionless when something 'funny' happens but it leaves me feeling so empty everytime.

I miss feeling happy/human/etc.

Any advice will be appreciated , i half made this post to vent i suppose. I've been hating myself and what ive turned into so much recently but even that is probably some artificial excuse for hatred because i dont even think i can muster that anymore.
",3.9020666430343836,5.974169142857146,5.392651542006379,77.3136387805743,73.23076923076924,8.323147819922013,30.697979439914928,9.023248300946321,2.8935263381779515,1504,69,268,33,31,506,190,364,0.107,0.753,0.141,0.6246,1,2,1,0,1,0,44.0,0,0,0,0,21,28,3,0,11,0,34,0,0,8,2,58,66,24,1,2,10,2,7,5,2,1,0,2,0,4,12,15,0,2,13,0,0,6,11,12,0,1,17,10,40,16,28,43,6,34,0,5,1,0,17,11,0,3,19,167,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994215467773694,0.12689364379780144,0.0,0.07167191392345698,0.07413000076169002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048673379987793884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839322347513819,0.0,0.0,0.0589000363542578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724696578163067,0.0,0.0,0.08726277790147044,0.0,0.06090496012604064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008982196395546,0.0,0.0,0.05714672600962055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061647348358871625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777047734668224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051211816213727,0.0,0.0,0.07982492294129685,0.18909816070176516,0.0,0.0,0.06839287520380677,0.19298068937690496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533329067607314,0.1533993483503641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105971657935957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135531949751745,0.0,0.05724497847083025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658687868348056,0.0,0.0,0.07066538623178782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5411921488172879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918701170139981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578747450378329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483938069912505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772589205551025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057130394780017024,0.0,0.10523156014685277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867803787696687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947544564870015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874893009920364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709792005697158,0.0,0.0771698377972282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146789519402381,0.045852707672002696,0.0,0.07067156956801364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691922577837835,0.0,0.0,0.0570359209433137,0.0,0.0,0.08085925334921318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07296158728653221,0.0,0.05510184758519489,0.0,0.08012223005835689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967962683776955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18344919921153752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570585536224646,0.0,0.07451198529615291,0.0,0.12363544935940522,0.0,0.05905678064022572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635064062646509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827564853535784
mentalhealth,goatsoapings,2019/03/14,"hppd help? anxiety about seeing a professional i've recently figured out i have [hppd](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320181.php) as well as some other mental health issues that i'm not 100% sure about yet (might be bipolar) I'm finally going to go see a professional on saturday and the problem is that from what i gathered hppd is a really rare thing and not many doctors even know about it. I've read a lot about people who just have visuals and learn to cope with time but for me i experience derealization really frequently and I'm just constantly panicked and paranoid and its been basically a half of a year of this. so i know for sure i need more then just fucking yoga classes to help myself.. the thing is that i also have really bad social anxiety, if my doctor doesn't know anything about it wouldn't it be super suspicious if i brought it up?? like I'm nervous that I'm going to sound like I'm lying to score some klonopin or something I'm just not sure what i should say to make what I'm saying seem genuine. what should i say?? another thing is that bringing up my other issues might kind of be undermined by the hppd.. i feel like it won't be taken seriously or as if I'm just trying to drive home that I'm just exaggerating for drugs. I'm just fucking nervous basically. i seriously don't know how to say any of this in real life. i honestly just want this to stop  ",4.453303461606044,6.163552228782287,5.9454401686874006,75.42153751537518,70.99261992619924,8.999543138288525,28.03391319627482,9.48565724429506,2.615702020734493,1118,41,206,26,21,379,138,271,0.175,0.7340000000000001,0.091,-0.9751,0,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,19,18,2,2,9,0,20,8,0,2,3,51,50,19,0,9,17,0,1,3,0,6,6,5,1,0,25,8,0,1,8,2,0,6,7,8,1,1,3,8,16,10,32,37,4,21,0,0,2,2,9,5,2,11,13,137,41,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626382109351058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335548700595869,0.11311139022594108,0.16504093243940832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876804636371595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006717507970635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656944720967885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22081959757471253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509527411970778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124730023725304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551782903774026,0.0,0.0,0.054542452905260184,0.07706254703946706,0.0,0.11816661517831653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19944866473343809,0.0,0.0,0.18391549191043505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466105961006458,0.0,0.0,0.1446063449745889,0.0,0.10820268247017202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22517708604330508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233029338285627,0.23713073151140746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619196634990381,0.15809990498569249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170745154840268,0.0,0.0,0.07200424714753652,0.10936352939686153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870786728782547,0.2288666334005872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998444315807593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478366754634673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321728635032558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789946766489257,0.12277999039324335,0.2073133837838124,0.0,0.10650888441355807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431310936715006,0.0,0.0,0.17191728861563985,0.09820104834319676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996016240239573,0.0,0.08304380886541518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018438121184094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049993768462866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149926554995148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629000256596878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323683690921694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362468386451732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698833321548186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694649213589279
mentalhealth,BoredInNS,2019/03/14,"Do I Need Help? I am sorry for this long essay but I really need your opinions on this cause I don't know what to do. 

I'm a 21 y/o male. I live in Singapore, we have something called National Service where every male citizen is forced to serve in the military for 2 years once they turn 18. I began my service 9 months ago as a transport operator (I drive cars and trucks around and get soldiers where they're needed).

I have always been a little anxious about things, but lately I have lost all confidence in myself to do anything that I am not very familiar with. I find myself getting anxious when doing tasks that should be simple, as if I don't trust myself to do it right. I'm afraid of making mistakes and getting punished or causing problems for other people. 

This only happens when I'm in the army, I become alright once I head home on the weekends. I am extremely frustrated with this, when I become anxious I end up making more mistakes, and the problem gets worse. 

It started during basic military training, I had to deal with the disruption to my civilian life and had trouble adjusting to the training, and the loss of my privacy which I value more than anything else. I screwed up alot of times, and got labeled by my section mates as ""blur"" (someone who is slow and incapable). They ostracised me which made my training harder than it needed to be. At some point several people including me screwed up during a parade rehearsal. Afterwards this loud, thuggish guy decided to single me out in front of the entire company for the mistake and embarassed me by making fun of my horrible acne. I hid in a stairwell and cried that night while calling my parents for comfort. Eventually I made it through basic training and went for the driving course, since I was supposed to be a Transport Operator but didn't have a driver's license yet. 

The driving instructors used to train transport operators like me are extremely unforgiving in general. They will scream at you for repeated mistakes, which are difficult to avoid while learning as driving in the military is much harder and more strict than driving as a civilian. Imagine having a scary looking old guy sit and yell next to you when you're trying to concentrate on the road. Many of the instructors seemed to have this mindset that they needed to be more strict with me in order to teach me how to drive. Most couldn't understand that their screaming at me stressed me out and caused me to make ridiculous mistakes like mixing up my left and right. I earned a reputation among all the instructors for being a bad driver. At some point while driving a 3 ton truck during training (with only a few months of driving experience) I made a serious mistake which could have caused a death if there was someone standing there. 

I have since completed all of my training. My driving has gotten much better. But all of this has made me deathly afraid of doing anything that I am not already extremely familiar with, to the point where it is affecting my ability to be a soldier (I don't want to, but I don't have a choice) . The people in my new section are all very friendly, but they don't really understand why I am always so anxious, I don't dare to explain why and I am worried that they will ostracise me once I make enough mistakes just like my old section in basic military training. 

I have only told my best friend about all of this. He has anxiety issues and is considering therapy. I am wondering if I should consider it as well. 

So my question is, what do I do? Is it normal to be like this or should I get some professional help? ",7.371264855687606,7.302913860703814,7.46577866954777,73.50287853063746,63.618768328445746,10.228800740855073,37.59546226269486,9.811843763644266,3.7665478005865096,2871,134,497,52,38,928,292,682,0.17800000000000002,0.741,0.081,-0.9968,1,1,1,0,0,0,61.0,1,3,7,5,18,39,5,4,35,1,64,4,1,16,6,105,104,44,2,24,14,1,0,4,3,5,1,4,1,5,32,27,0,1,12,1,0,15,10,26,1,0,16,5,79,13,89,74,25,86,0,2,1,2,30,41,2,15,31,371,111,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058993776222739075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344109443546873,0.0,0.11075214644391357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050911617787442895,0.30073643122565263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429832701775487,0.0592448312167829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556761616741567,0.0,0.14700152445489956,0.0,0.0,0.06984155952348793,0.058859280717900614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359127843814834,0.0,0.0,0.27346636782145906,0.0,0.0,0.06977784785155446,0.0,0.0,0.053135855590146566,0.0,0.07310355765665924,0.0,0.06861154276505803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05559513202074518,0.0,0.0589447625226538,0.06876535807421663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056072401650853684,0.0,0.0,0.06510001249177909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082674876618555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283485057916827,0.0,0.17385172656880007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322721215516369,0.0,0.0,0.13179264389249518,0.058851158894041126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830090823504646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892159642601178,0.0,0.06675645286383593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946234227885091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03657489384579727,0.0,0.07507284693024202,0.0,0.07230826092529856,0.0,0.047007202539941235,0.1300545558145938,0.06670195889699776,0.05876608117676675,0.0588958703945001,0.05588639149103365,0.0,0.07264868467471873,0.0,0.0,0.25189007113860673,0.2221177895485899,0.06747264604291943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624134115147726,0.0,0.09784583254249177,0.2467349971196037,0.0,0.06427573024822666,0.0707781396404495,0.06245395475808365,0.06520621483526719,0.0,0.0,0.13966894054207346,0.21262511906543166,0.0,0.15184595307030813,0.0,0.0,0.07389742331417096,0.0,0.0,0.13841502623334734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18873767489226398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273613510067651,0.0,0.0,0.07455276817376545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852690267108766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366901693336795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060585870010284086,0.0,0.07518410780641316,0.0,0.11010396607534187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127775238684566,0.051234497940341815,0.0,0.07449881284930711,0.047105403978785966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623437232126505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610729443954625,0.0,0.04421377469663839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03880664048456048,0.0,0.0,0.06359268840025227,0.0,0.0451840133665293,0.07238878254964018,0.0,0.13856465162203593,0.0,0.057479017974522935,0.0,0.1098237042377446,0.03925372377481466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983767635729514,0.06169378903785376,0.12010452451727198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217212456216987,0.0,0.06758614923308644,0.06782153419908156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04285690190412492
mentalhealth,whatup_nerds,2019/03/14,"Scared to embrace the better days Hi there, I was just wondering if anyone else struggles to embrace their better days?  I think this is because I know that the gloom is going to return eventually.  I also worry that I'm making my illness up when I'm feeling ok and I'm causing all this stress for my family over nothing.  Things that were causing me to have a meltdown just last week are having no effect on me right now - as in, I don't feel anything.  Almost numb.

​

Please say I'm not alone with this.  ",3.769133663366336,5.433269415841585,4.638700495049509,84.29191212871288,72.66336633663366,6.238118811881187,26.48638613861386,6.6274283507984215,1.180256435643564,405,14,75,3,8,131,74,101,0.194,0.649,0.157,-0.7415,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,3,6,8,0,3,3,1,8,2,0,4,1,17,19,5,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,3,10,3,11,17,1,13,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,3,7,50,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733061668096584,0.17924994009963086,0.0,0.1384052636872773,0.0,0.18752296252374248,0.21030088854657075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101565859018078,0.17733226546624073,0.1424231469025293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550281634321516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061354599194502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555843329396276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232336761849757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457907999270936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16315646342146548,0.0,0.1750203615098458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983605557593135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511560294673256,0.14107642063161913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552660995918225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606682920700175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998060003262932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780216625593834,0.0,0.13763345078183806,0.17327482374253148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19825288678003994,0.18093197196372454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149810538494559,0.11089726707175222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882756559977846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768872365343256,0.0,0.17576256987254513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21030088854657075,0.0
mentalhealth,Sondosss,2019/03/14,"Unhappy with everything This time is like the worst time of my life. I graduated and I can’t seem to be able to get a job with my degree. When I compare myself to my friends or anyone who I have gone to school with they are doing great while I’m struggling, I have nothing going for me and I feel like I have no one. Now I’m avoiding my closest friends because they can’t relate. I struggled through uni with depression, anxiety and eating disorder and sometimes I can’t believe I made it this far but it was easier because I thought I had the future ahead of me and once I’m done with school life would be better but now I see it’s ten times shittier. Uni was so much stress and it made my mental health so much worse I almost dropped out more than once but I kept going because I thought it was worth it. But now I’m like maybe I should have done something easier and less competitive, where I’m not surrounded with high achievers and successful people. Now I feel lazy and unmotivated and have no reason to do anything anymore I can’t even bring myself to clean up my room. I guess some people are unlucky and meant to be sad ",3.4214604560892785,4.956466781659387,4.366426491994179,86.41714095099468,73.32314410480349,7.359631246967492,27.132702571567197,7.984000788550335,1.592242891800097,899,33,184,13,18,291,123,229,0.173,0.6779999999999999,0.15,-0.5682,1,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,4,9,15,0,4,3,0,25,4,0,3,0,40,46,20,0,2,6,0,2,3,2,2,3,0,2,0,9,18,1,2,7,0,1,4,7,7,0,2,13,3,32,8,21,28,6,24,0,2,1,0,5,8,0,5,14,127,41,6,0.11904611342426805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920748641894828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106995092602364,0.0,0.11806175587195218,0.08323981046625452,0.0,0.0979648079619343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177082173920722,0.0,0.0,0.1341242035560377,0.0,0.10528661314397192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253424305234324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364371596557976,0.0,0.0,0.24365101192158525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218138939278236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862883516609352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699097060802606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038658376559057,0.08504656721683526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394946384987398,0.0,0.06219668081704587,0.0,0.13531329935554393,0.0,0.0,0.131248760319955,0.13114271531433244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126540451722764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577875491791166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813489845694228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16817158104679114,0.1744797533029211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22528862187329146,0.0,0.0,0.11959782181986416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997048238696255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502518197641054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422795652201916,0.0,0.0,0.25356045110401465,0.08066872739391527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506317148963578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239923170234004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409620447080557,0.09486433944687844,0.10837511060212073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916475141808834,0.11773965017783936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636692071266684,0.2489056908668204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890186329579212,0.20825023824352548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131815997332927,0.0845669433767442,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HamezRodriguez2000,2019/03/14,"Great news for my mental state In high school i was bullied, tormented and things a like and due to that and being bullied, nearly raped and killed in my early teens and childhood it made me develop depression which held me back in school and made me really socially anxious in any situation so id not do anything social after 2 and a half years of not doing anything after being kicked out of highschool for low attendance i finally faced all my fears and bettered myself juat recently applied for college and went to an interview/ event to see what course id get into and the guy said high level 5 or low 6 (6 being the highest) which is really great for me because i generally procrastinate because im nervous and scared of peoples opinions on me but I've finally managed to push myself to further my education and I'm not fully recovered by any means i have a long way to go but this step was massive for me and i just want to let anyone know if you are struggling like me you can make my name is James and i hope you and i get better.",6.14876811594203,6.145420748792273,7.155857487922707,74.48277173913046,66.14975845410628,9.991787439613526,33.675120772946855,9.725611199111238,3.218233816425121,833,34,153,16,12,281,127,207,0.124,0.7859999999999999,0.09,-0.5335,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,2,4,16,2,4,6,0,13,2,1,3,1,38,28,20,1,3,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,17,0,1,2,0,0,5,3,9,0,1,7,2,24,7,26,17,1,33,0,3,1,1,9,14,0,4,14,103,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315484277008694,0.0,0.0,0.14382781002368022,0.0,0.08902043149568717,0.0,0.20953602434496096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978960822648624,0.0,0.15521803284464067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251965659291248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965477346087442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432628769422129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789310317060905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303190703870155,0.0,0.0723550920422802,0.0,0.0,0.28072676310797345,0.0,0.12606020009637892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690270189964453,0.0,0.12645085039386358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752022953873236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085332232965395,0.0,0.0699680695451557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018649247194014,0.0,0.12439771177825926,0.0,0.0,0.11266827931363566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409338778871865,0.08498262776578254,0.0,0.0,0.13868152549553095,0.0,0.0,0.1283018792211541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826302383287468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631203419511744,0.0,0.12570654143942173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110411901468927,0.0,0.12746284040097666,0.2576957476698034,0.1014522304148928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310550263494315,0.0,0.2595597876708722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309552171361094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458131077210805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509269299760822,0.10105538516379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802072044566513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198560207885038
mentalhealth,goldwave84,2019/03/14,"My weak state of mind always gets the better of me - how do i improve? HI all,

On the surface believe I am normal as I am married and work a corporate job. I also do regular guy stuff like going to the gym and spend time with my wife on the weekends. However, i think i have a weak state of mind. I tend to over worry about specific things in my life - like my job and what i will end up doing in 5 years. I have been in my current company for 5 years and the past 1 year has been very tough. I've missed out on promotions due to my own carelessness and not been selected for any leadership training's. I work in sales and my company is an extremely KPI driven company. 

​

The biggest problem i face is i tend to get stuck thinking a certain way and ruminate on problems in my life. I get overly worried and this gets me down. My biggest fear is letting down my wife. 

​

How can I improve my mind? Make it stronger?  Any advice would be great!",1.8111909929462835,3.941929902061855,3.476641345632121,88.32286218122627,79.87628865979381,6.764622897449812,26.705371676614213,7.85451343220497,1.6893134020618557,747,32,153,13,19,248,113,194,0.142,0.748,0.11,-0.6693,4,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,5,4,13,0,1,10,0,19,5,1,3,2,25,32,12,0,4,1,2,0,2,0,2,4,0,0,1,5,10,0,0,2,2,2,2,1,8,0,0,5,0,27,5,27,23,2,32,0,1,0,0,4,18,0,0,11,102,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658827268060815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541209967114588,0.09927541090103256,0.25854449627537635,0.2899492230912952,0.16226967340227166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442142288018982,0.0,0.10551992834861984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567317578560258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425682978413786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24933803481216515,0.0,0.0678065768583887,0.0,0.0,0.13153960765998635,0.0,0.11813557837262068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367933709407526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200247637808767,0.16854424938207366,0.11657760036807495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796402978502351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36140702235803096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689838940232837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389481854356047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283269599747263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658131339762758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792642091630662,0.15289795802875011,0.0,0.0,0.06957057363659072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844317889041447,0.0,0.09470266083081688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737180850181932,0.24233002977440324,0.0,0.08475434377942799,0.0,0.2899492230912952,0.23049502965426602
mentalhealth,littlestoner42O,2019/03/14,"I haven’t wanted to die in a while... It’s been so long since the last time I can remember actually contemplating suicide, then yesterday I spent a whole hour planning out the best way. I feel like for every step forward I take in life, I end up taking 10 huge leaps back. I don’t know how to get ahead and I’m just so drained and tired. I didn’t choose the life I was given... I didn’t ask for any of this. I just want to be happy. ",-0.09468085106383127,1.8187463404255344,2.1355744680851068,96.49400000000004,85.59574468085106,5.4621276595744686,17.910638297872342,6.742157984588678,-0.2286391489361703,332,8,82,4,10,112,68,94,0.156,0.696,0.14800000000000002,-0.4224,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,5,0,8,3,0,1,0,12,19,7,2,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,6,1,11,3,11,12,2,18,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,12,49,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.19905837129329151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871570539232814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906969412077781,0.0,0.0,0.1568506417639936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21406799121487516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170256209053814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066874497008933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186481037776868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031401349426857,0.1457257801456735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657290624590043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714412001328914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20088255750592265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210394080381368,0.1662736945079129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28815901274288896,0.09965598456535793,0.0,0.0,0.18051888806924848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310734255197514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873717456590168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22312472934732985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067402581960789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894435964783905,0.2344489086003411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406293860993244,0.16191252652750165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277401789758871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,joker197345,2019/03/14,"Multiple personality disorder and bi polar Hello I am a 45 y/o male and I have mental health issues, just wanted to say hello and let everyone suffering know I am always around for a chat",2.2895945945945932,4.83780491891892,5.87695945945946,69.40300675675678,80.8918918918919,9.105405405405406,22.763513513513516,9.516144504307137,2.829708108108108,150,5,25,5,4,56,30,37,0.16699999999999998,0.833,0.0,-0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,5,0,1,0,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626459347071846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809952596156923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617620379789164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016169279190504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33552099602107616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32945640153381944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17347288498485602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227733247748338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181007748557088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756132458456267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510174044832338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18617844082678564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rdr972,2019/03/14,"Depressed, not many friends, should I see the doctor? I've been suffering with depression for a while now and it's because I don't get out and socialize enough. 

I don't have many friends and I'm struggling to make more, if I had more friends I wouldn't be in this situation. It's getting unbearable and I don't know weither I should go to the doctor's or not? ",1.9507428571428558,3.9379463600000015,3.2205714285714286,91.056,78.73333333333333,6.9523809523809526,28.04761904761905,7.957251820313856,1.7077619047619046,287,13,63,5,7,93,47,75,0.29100000000000004,0.7090000000000001,0.0,-0.9634,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,3,0,10,2,0,1,0,15,17,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,2,1,7,3,6,11,3,5,0,3,1,0,4,2,0,2,2,42,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372855361847887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496353166968875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.415496541030086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20972214105250836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.470442072336805,0.0,0.2120867677724187,0.0,0.11535245900563347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154693672692252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548396952926478,0.4115591974472626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174071402086768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281466467699573,0.0,0.20690222983421447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218818577870574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peeledsheeps,2019/03/14,"I hate myself and want to die So over the past year or so my mental health has just gone to shit. I’ve never been very happy or anything but lately I’ve just been miserable. The few friends i have left school, so I’m completely alone there, and my home life isn’t much better. Don’t get me wrong I couldn’t ask for better parents but I’m pretty quiet and tend to just lock myself in my bedroom. I wish I had a better relationship with them but I can barely manage to make smalltalk with them let alone have a meaningful conversation, my social skills are abismal. I feel like such a drain on them, they give me everything and in return I lock myself away and never speak to them. I feel like I’m treading water, and instead of struggling everyday just to maintain my pitiful existence I should just give up and drown. But then again I don’t hate life I just hate myself. I feel like I’ll never have a decent job, never have a group of friends and never be able to connect with my family. The only reason I haven’t topped myself already is because of the prospect that maybe someday It will get better, but I really don’t see that happening. I don’t know why I’m posting this on here. I don’t expect anyone to talk me out of it, or even read this far into the paragraph but idk I just wanted to get it out there :(",3.469646840148698,4.688191308550189,4.526131970260224,86.56838011152418,72.71747211895911,7.015687732342008,23.858921933085494,7.365786028017652,0.9380407434944238,1038,28,212,11,20,339,139,269,0.174,0.667,0.158,-0.6934,2,2,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,5,6,17,18,4,2,10,0,23,5,1,2,5,48,48,21,2,6,16,1,3,3,2,2,3,2,2,0,7,14,1,0,6,1,0,1,13,8,0,0,4,6,37,10,27,39,2,27,0,2,1,0,17,13,1,3,15,146,44,4,0.09936246387755394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058190928518581,0.1096489496930665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947654503554412,0.0,0.0817668415406234,0.0,0.09289049077883947,0.0,0.09335430562526023,0.0,0.0,0.060570435730710324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.351512098778868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417965292562993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312255019497782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562797028140903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930057560448905,0.0,0.0936700879109319,0.0,0.15072194173344766,0.21295369214305074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535343862250991,0.0,0.15573835902468827,0.1906350587143225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786589865734472,0.10577319043516434,0.0,0.2942995860139493,0.0,0.1056176527035562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996686527892916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098601913518779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460701159418221,0.0,0.11208518717817297,0.0,0.10795760773360792,0.10160485132769187,0.1403652934677541,0.14563044257597627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632521620044407,0.0,0.09982295018787132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013399328765683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304284374162602,0.0,0.3831722882198291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556963122298313,0.0,0.0,0.11033025738120668,0.0,0.09485271486826433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516177407280234,0.1010873472140449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938935277141728,0.0,0.06365413868125984,0.10216116166111533,0.0,0.10667810084044972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056011815285744,0.07917901920884514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199414129333564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012875189130334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387522114867448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986378468154091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198443877801816,0.11721311117530082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896591688068842,0.0,0.1142619297720664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863725606920814,0.0,0.06398616901080073
mentalhealth,jetten11,2019/03/14,"i need help tonight I listened to “80s ComeDown Machine” by the stokes on repeat, as recommended by my to let my soul rest. That didn’t put me to sleep. I turned the music off and lied in bed, in silence, tossing and turning as I usually do. Clearly, that didn’t put me to sleep. I opened up a word doc and began to write a short story (which I will copy and paste for anybody upon request because i am quite proud of it) thinking that this will surely, finally, put me to sleep. After maybe a half hour, I shut my phone off, closed my eyes, and lied there for as long as i possibly could...and here i am typing this shit on reddit. at like 3 am. my phone is on the lowest possible brightness, I know i have to sleep (hell, I have baseball trouts literally tomorrow evening) and yet i’m still awake. and i can’t remember the last time i’ve gotten more than 6 hours of sleep. I don’t know what the cause of this is, I am seeing a therapist for unrelated reasons. I feel like i just have too many thoughts in my head sometimes. not bad thoughts, just...thoughts. I am tired, I am confused, and I just want to sleep. I’ve tried talking to my therapist about this, but it’s expensive and i thought maybe this would be better. i just. want to know. what is wrong with me. ",2.5577246618491785,4.08838605836576,3.599977765425237,91.04990920881971,75.57587548638129,6.762942375393737,25.856772280896788,7.447530270364453,1.1054507689457098,975,35,215,12,21,314,141,257,0.07200000000000001,0.8320000000000001,0.096,0.4111,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,3,10,11,2,1,9,0,22,10,9,2,2,37,40,14,0,4,5,0,1,2,0,3,1,1,1,0,13,12,0,0,10,0,1,3,5,5,0,1,7,5,34,6,37,28,2,33,2,0,3,0,7,15,2,1,17,138,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975240284665724,0.05822605586138891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447670407410984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981218983094424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626226303931549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308783844091526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048296082035387884,0.06823710514337904,0.0,0.10463380791489288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802762695348734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640227889260991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18812929578143006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748033850915197,0.0778588082587211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767223362064664,0.0,0.09332920901374472,0.0,0.0,0.0845292187369559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683887881985938,0.19191860199680535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708243766562377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118143873156492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153613150058725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880618086429675,0.0,0.10159370169638736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820701195201266,0.0,0.0,0.10820173079375467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611439376135616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098046456110751,0.0,0.0,0.5735137127580704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446839715759263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627971034652548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002330075190428,0.0,0.0,0.07677265537338084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22180435690531766,0.0,0.06120320472194166,0.0,0.3033181644668244,0.05569651963700574,0.10978232410846976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484952720266718,0.207789347309209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519808206923446,0.0,0.11267637547338835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785227900075387,0.10443244900261746,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,signsoflife6,2019/03/14,"Is this dissociation/depersonalization/derealization? I usually get really anxious about a particular thing, that I have to do frequently, and have been doing frequently for months now. Usually I just get nervous, fast heart beat, a sense of uneasiness, coughing (nervous cough), but today I experienced something off. 

I can't remember much now, but it felt like I was disconnected from my body, sort of. I knew it was mine, but all my existence felt compressed into my head. And I felt a sense of urgency, I had to put my head down, it was almost a scary feeling. Very uncomfortable. 

I'm just wondering if that was any of the things mentioned in the title? ",6.740847457627119,8.154315754237293,7.762500000000002,65.6806991525424,65.1864406779661,11.662711864406779,35.08898305084746,11.45678717892309,4.5782338983050845,521,24,88,17,8,176,78,118,0.117,0.8420000000000001,0.041,-0.8163,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,2,6,0,12,6,4,0,1,19,21,6,0,1,6,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,10,5,14,1,13,11,2,14,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,10,65,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346672303795646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780363134547935,0.0,0.0,0.19570273678980574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19242158688204608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759125291074017,0.0,0.49898936680818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101303415211906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555718105013625,0.0,0.0,0.20528063378512246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463235531913671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827204864290474,0.0,0.12734537770500287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414590494996698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097679002648336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962379714443739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336237879943671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301751517546617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420358429061274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815809243283729,0.1429344585631133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786260433014826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phantasmaniac,2019/03/14,"I feels as if I am going to explode from the inside. Everything is blurry I can't really see true color of my surrounding, it's not darken nor really blur...it's distorted by me.

I slowly losing my control over my emotion and a little less with body, My mind clouded with past experiences, I even flashback to many scenes which don't relate to each other. There is no concept behind story behind my past, just many random pain I got from them. I feels really bad like something inside keep swelling up and consume my inside at the same time. My mind start to losing consciousness while my body isn't it's like I'm going to lose my consciousness and live like mindless automatic doll. I feels distance toward everything even myself, I don't have friend nor family that's how I feel even though they're just right there I feels they're not even there. Even though I have my goal but I have no fuel to go for it. Every damage I took for 20 years killing me, even though they're just embarrassment and failures, I had been put into shame upon every mistakes. I got scolding to just silly mistake, I even got revile for every single action I took. Once I was like 10y/o I stole money from my grandma for only about 3USD, it's not a lot even in my country at that time but she put me to shame, she even announce around the village that I am a thief.....Innocent mistake and not forgiven or explain, immediately put me into that state. Teachers also done the same thing in every mistake that students make, others laugh at them like a joke but you know what? It's terrible, I feels like I want to kill them slowly torture them and heal them up until they can't hold anymore pain and wishing to die right there. I hold everything back and pretend like I am a good boy, even though people around here put dirt on my name or dirty me with shame I still have my honor to keep....they're just a pleasant even though the reality is I am the same but I feels myself as something higher than them, I feels that I have more intelligent than them while at that I also think myself as stronger and sometimes I even fear that if I touch some fragile human they will disperse by just my touch.

You know what>? I'm crazy, enough to put myself into eternal prison. If I ever have someone to inspire me back in those days I would even be like Eminem, it's not that I would be his exact copy but someone that do something great because I had terrible experiences but no, I got nobody and I only carried myself through here. It's the miracle in itself that I even found my goal, I know enough that many people in late day inspired me quite a bit but they're just help guided me out of ""too misery"" not really inspired me into this. They helped, even a little I would still called help. The whole thing is real time typing, the feeling in the early paragraph is my real feeling and the feeling along the way until now are the feeling at the moment I thought about them.....I just want to let it out but I don't know what to post that could expect somebody to at least encourage me just live another day, it will be okay. Because I know that nobody gonna read my facebook's post because I post many swearing stuffs and I think everybody unfollow me for their good.

Sometimes I think that I'm a sociopath but after I read many many articles that they follow the same path as mine, which is got abusive surrounding since they're young they also want to kill people too.

The thought about killing people and actually murder one are different right ? everybody should had their nasty thought once in a life time even though some people may never thought about killing people they might still had their own nasty thought.",4.838963975019773,6.0942329318497945,5.089041970056454,83.68682538383922,69.47287899860919,7.475098857345443,27.31083476506041,7.724431198458867,1.5598694864872231,2934,95,555,33,51,925,286,719,0.205,0.662,0.133,-0.9968,1,0,3,0,0,0,69.0,0,2,16,8,56,48,7,5,26,1,45,6,2,3,4,126,95,47,7,17,29,0,15,8,1,9,4,0,0,2,37,26,0,4,32,4,1,12,18,25,0,1,20,17,105,23,76,61,17,80,0,4,2,0,31,34,0,11,37,397,142,6,0.0,0.050307838300769035,0.04143457267518541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186509488927792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04452273020278722,0.0,0.0,0.04210864399272366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559632535034715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529782468423814,0.03545210193412777,0.07764917396617466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04635502940004793,0.09432637880783433,0.0,0.0,0.04335613274759247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047622198866005605,0.03390064031293822,0.0,0.0,0.0821490418834237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044066497366940814,0.044361381918642494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04345104663105522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04776148257711045,0.0,0.0877445048799294,0.0,0.4487080312324121,0.03840725765602705,0.1430966189392228,0.0,0.11448020551182495,0.0830675288217562,0.04002725567282585,0.047779002008591503,0.2576269898670771,0.030333240390063864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046554903592521985,0.0328042829309932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239253102702344,0.0712264159364153,0.16979462870145914,0.04681200344668324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537958825438748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548031983778307,0.2348770077128877,0.0,0.11667378900549767,0.0,0.047896426109723673,0.0,0.0,0.04341795179652373,0.02999056376763215,0.16594943917858276,0.08511161029106798,0.07498544093995659,0.0,0.0,0.1425047350062328,0.0,0.036097745016825895,0.0,0.0,0.028342200222284526,0.2582850181737589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504306485385952,0.08574444902816444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032747562192747444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043645579652024,0.028771812667775506,0.06458507763843979,0.09036029507298778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106523552969927,0.17661738824481296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199405635383866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134187861184869,0.0,0.04516115050891732,0.08494244263592521,0.0966569392465214,0.10880316397486564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878113512012316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03383490841611726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03512312834236438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195198476783964,0.09806272621372374,0.08398751952399675,0.0,0.03005321621990781,0.0,0.10172518833985612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860623372124576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05641671734541436,0.0816194437427603,0.25029882142457466,0.16854141852355964,0.0990344426534122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434864712246163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513154851016596,0.033702558218674364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04740477346181391,0.048826595326844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048652425768618,0.0,0.0,0.027342674738976724
mentalhealth,CheesecakeKoalas2,2019/03/14,My friend asked if I would be sad if he was gone please help My friend has a history of depression and at midnight he asked me if I would be sad if he disappeared. Ifs two am now and I don't know what to do and I'm worried I'm too late,-0.2585454545454553,1.0733111454545463,2.2163636363636385,98.76454545454548,83.0,6.581818181818183,20.090909090909093,7.554174236665415,0.2260181818181817,183,5,50,3,5,63,36,55,0.217,0.606,0.177,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,0,0,11,15,8,0,7,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,2,0,6,2,3,9,0,5,0,3,0,0,8,1,0,5,2,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5022567930779327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23136657983898445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150784854620099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005387821132388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476294413610272,0.0,0.3030210422597591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948699160111174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26240788823151795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728020345620246,0.0,0.3816474160057148,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ticcitoby0,2019/03/14,"Motivation and General confusion coping with life As of late I've been unmotivated, i can't find any reason to move forward in life. I just got accepted into a very prestigious university but when i got the news, i felt no joy or happiness; just empty. Nothing seems to get me going anymore, and I can't stand it, it's killing me. I'm looking for any advice people can offer, just been feeling like it's time to end it. if you want anymore info, just ask(just signed up on reddit.)",4.195714285714286,5.5384846315789495,5.974436090225566,76.40105263157895,71.10526315789474,8.796992481203008,30.413533834586467,9.23628265651192,2.7641428571428563,380,16,71,8,7,131,71,95,0.13699999999999998,0.675,0.188,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,5,6,1,1,2,0,5,2,0,2,0,24,15,7,1,2,7,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,8,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,5,3,8,4,11,10,0,12,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,4,6,41,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007754001834148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645533691401337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858126830816071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184501220878288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722823131129035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835249049659743,0.13896135985134275,0.18676464192498168,0.0,0.17778293656791705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162591657039532,0.0,0.11054720196099826,0.0,0.3111423929180673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070645439029801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21520172569686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21942108454745765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747830083609342,0.0950300703052212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334338091375325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067383714319937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664212667007765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485202002976693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999353576201495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770789020198007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342310157329855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049502102442414,0.11472982570115503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Awkward_bubble,2019/03/14,"Does anyone else sorta spasm when they get an intrusive thought? Lately I've noticed this weird habit I've had for a while getting worse where my arm or head jerks/tenses or my face scrunches up whenever an embarrassing moment or intrusive thought plays in my head. I used to only do it in when I was alone, but lately I'll accidentally do it in walking between places or in class too.",10.538,7.3190889333333375,9.893333333333334,68.66000000000001,59.66666666666666,12.666666666666668,41.0,10.504223727775694,4.141399999999999,310,12,58,5,3,100,54,75,0.135,0.845,0.02,-0.7497,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,4,4,4,1,0,9,9,8,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,0,6,1,8,5,0,14,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,5,6,34,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22211966309947967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14995797098103444,0.21974335411289767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876785858266059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915686064588796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240968114856618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402031564233988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838486783610005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441682875875081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631092703326857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22406886854596872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405203654021987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852277355773076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21855678203554188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cheesecaketiddy,2019/03/14,"Suffering from PTSD and I feel really lonely and sad a lot, seems like nothing will help. What do I do? I suffered from sexual abuse about a year and a half ago and since then I haven’t been the same. I was prescribed antidepressants last spring but never took them and for the past 6 months I’ve had physical health issues and went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety from my abuse and started antidepressants. Celexa made me start cutting myself so I switched to Prozac but damn dude it’s been tough. Some nights just the tiniest inconvenience will put me in a pit of sadness and I feel so lonely like no one understands. What should I do? 

I should mention that I have started working out again, I take my meds, I talk to my bf about it since he takes the meds too but sometimes it seems like nothing will help me. ",3.393617886178859,5.657795841463418,3.639853658536588,88.44010569105694,75.34146341463416,7.056260162601626,24.347967479674807,8.021203637495839,1.3189679674796748,674,22,134,11,15,208,101,164,0.289,0.6659999999999999,0.045,-0.9917,0,4,0,0,2,1,12.0,0,0,1,1,7,13,2,0,9,0,15,4,0,1,1,27,28,15,0,2,4,0,2,3,1,5,4,0,0,0,6,11,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,10,0,2,8,2,21,3,13,15,3,19,0,7,0,0,7,3,1,4,16,89,27,2,0.0,0.3224441750387519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206188833312804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409407363455588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719790049106255,0.13810937463793452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927460969922725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760334542496253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463729216324167,0.0,0.0,0.18241127578863084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420229504823716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109161658222146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994325032941624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568284392505605,0.0,0.12875383238844335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022887926255818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861071077163374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049464758616875,0.0,0.0,0.12769357659187652,0.0,0.26112791752762793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922053472519069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298953298212797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905991764733435,0.13678911030986474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717067666408085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24774816783055134,0.0,0.15372169249902445,0.0,0.22511895811195612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457786778950218,0.0,0.2889356262940822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20461717316809894,0.1093688532414934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118007807025674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416548881761163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613933907409738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906143333785193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762537307657976
mentalhealth,icecreamsandwichcat,2019/03/14,"If someone gets diagnosed with something many years ago, does it stay in some kind of record? I'm in the US btw. Do we have medical records that list all of the diagnoses we've been given? Or is it only accessible if the therapist/doctor still has the records? ",4.062058823529412,5.743902607843139,4.884460784313728,82.75257352941178,71.94117647058823,9.02156862745098,30.39705882352941,9.516144504307137,2.8138588235294115,207,9,41,5,4,67,42,51,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,5,3,0,0,1,7,8,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,5,6,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,4,3,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150400517975542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49244440431935793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24829959005298685,0.21229081483608006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267424690540117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526185728425492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24594664435796595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24438237339406024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844994715499158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20554443304923609,0.18675646477206045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585670437332879,0.19373147459941645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816639243950653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918040739758224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621902843699376
mentalhealth,notasparkinspace,2019/03/14,"When you’re feeling a bit down, do you ever look for *more* reasons to feel sad? My most frequent example is this:

(1) I make an error with something at work, or something similarly shitty (but not that grave) happens. I catastrophize and feel terrible about myself. I doubt my abilities and value as a person.

(2) Afterwards, EVERYTHING is a problem. My mind jumps around for more reasons to feel unworthy. Sometimes this results in a lonely sadness and wallowing with too much wine, but sometimes it affects those around me. For example, I’ve lashed out and treated my boyfriend like a punching bag on more than one account. For whatever reason, I’ll all of a sudden be SO upset about the tone of voice I imagined he used with me. Or I’ll be upset about him forgetting to return a text from earlier in the day. The kind of stuff that usually rolls off because I know it’s not malicious, but sticks to me in these moments because I’m *choosing* to be upset. 

I think what I’m perhaps doing is some form of cognitive dissonance where I don’t think I’m warranted to feel as upset as I do, so I seek out more reasons to corroborate my feelings. Or perhaps it’s a masochistic tendency. Or perhaps it’s because anguish is so familiar after all of these years. 

Can any of you relate? Do you have any tips on how to be less consumed by negative emotion? I can’t find a way to let it pass through me. Thanks in advance, internet strangers-come-friends.",3.9448091961213656,5.884097262589929,5.04117923052862,80.4480340944636,72.77697841726619,8.144135126681261,33.30997810447295,8.841846274778883,3.0763707851110422,1141,59,206,23,23,375,161,278,0.181,0.779,0.04,-0.9915,0,2,3,0,0,0,40.0,0,3,0,2,13,16,0,6,13,0,17,1,0,9,3,50,34,19,1,1,9,0,6,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,14,11,1,0,16,1,1,3,5,12,0,1,0,8,24,4,46,29,12,29,0,4,1,0,6,14,0,7,12,148,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125288623028698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22418189550072395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302696450274295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374664483853356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084645286075021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120468747497446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163730375040318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389722691426166,0.0,0.0,0.11316418423784975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819981107076519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508392846671588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728153179311023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134612152918927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112098179749276,0.0691995306737059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875650618458345,0.0,0.06151565512596365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105736795259924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404916692770979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271381447624216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256193222139013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532318827616182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994402532499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048354470685615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5178459127239958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938708681820001,0.2490660920095528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414242436097516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592551366136725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613623547896669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875003723023904,0.13867746239081072,0.0,0.0,0.09994537895420634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916675396764171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810850609819412
mentalhealth,oozingwithhostility,2019/03/14,"Overwhelmed I feel consistently overwhelmed by people to the point I just want to run away and live alone on a desert island. I know the things I think are unreasonable but I beat myself up every day over the smallest thing. It’s coming up to 6AM here and I haven’t slept a wink because of it; I’m not sure how much longer I can carry on like this. I hope this is the correct sub to post this in, I just had to say it.",1.4377808988764045,3.1431627078651694,2.8026825842696645,94.78357443820228,79.2247191011236,5.348876404494383,18.990168539325843,5.985473137389443,-0.35231573033707875,327,7,76,2,8,106,63,89,0.047,0.818,0.134,0.7367,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,2,6,0,5,1,1,1,2,15,13,4,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,2,10,3,14,11,1,12,0,2,0,0,1,8,0,1,2,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804933999752198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544493440752101,0.0,0.0,0.16509262790615878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23329207017645204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17465995466243406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22818204938780434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136937441199429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689906940566188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883853710853764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231159270998868,0.0,0.23914375775984897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990878037704113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775620698785747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25601750704246423,0.0,0.2593758352298857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21537119922417947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552497000535087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598486750850986,0.17353395750997985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973981626135006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,warlockclan2,2019/03/14,"Will you love like you loved me and I'll never ask for more https://youtu.be/G5OV1JPqlNQ

    I've never been so torn apart. I lost the only person I ever truly loved more than myself",3.0452941176470567,5.967111470588236,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,81.3529411764706,4.576470588235295,11.441176470588234,5.985473137389443,-1.0038,146,1,26,1,4,44,27,34,0.114,0.505,0.382,0.922,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,3,4,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,6,4,2,4,2,4,0,1,0,3,7,1,0,0,4,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483155898510589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24026534844282205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976681446910138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899518075798341,0.0,0.7191878367990456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097196686813566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20201333198507293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319260992526196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Topless-Rats,2019/03/14,"My whole life, people have told me I have 2 personalities. Ever since I could remember, my parents would tell me “there’s the good pleasant you, and then there’s the mean you.” It affected everything in my life and I began noticing it myself. It made me depressed because I didn’t realize why I wouldn’t control my mood swings or be consistently motivated to do things. 

I remember I would go through periods in my life growing up where I would have unhealthy obsessions with things and for weeks straight I would lock myself in my room and do those things. I remember one time when I was 8 I stayed in my room everyday after school painting my nails and then removing nail polish, cyclically. My parents thought it was weird, but I just wanted to do it. I then dropped it a few weeks later 

This is true for almost anything I do in my life , hobbies, relationships, goals etc. 

I’ve also had a really hard time making and keeping good friends  because I’ll make connections but then the next week I’ll withdraw completely and avoid any human contact. 

I was diagnosed with bi-polar II disorder when I was 17 (I’m 19 now) after my parents found out I had an opiate addiction and I spent months at an outpatient clinic. 

But I didn’t  “feel” bi-polar. I didnt see the signs. But recently, my boyfriend said the same thing to me my parents said to me growing up and it struck a cord. I’m just so confused and I feel so disassociated. It’s so frustrating! 
I feel so productive and creative some times but then other times I just feel like I’m the worst person in the world and it’s beginning to affect my long term relationship. 

Im starting to think I actually am bi-polar and it makes me scared. But, I just feel so embarrassed and I don’t want to get help. I also don’t want to go on any medication because I’m against chemical aids. 

I just feel so hopeless and invalidated. Maybe I’m just making this up in my head. I don’t know.

Or maybe I’m supposed to feel this way? Maybe what I’m feeling is completely normal and I’m blowing it out of proportion as an excuse for my own weakness.  

TL;DR: i was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder 2 years ago and didn’t believe I had it. Now I’m starting to realize that maybe I do. 
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mentalhealth,Stockysmif,2019/03/14,Depersonalization I’m at 21 year old male and I’ve recently been experiencing some very weird moments of depersonalization... I think. I feel like I’m not really “present.” There are times that I find myself drifting away from reality and begin to question if I’m even really there. The best way I can describe how I feel is like I am stuck in a dream or I just woke up from a long nap. I find myself beginning to panic because I’m not catching things that are happening around me. This causes me to ultimately shutdown. I have a counselor but I don’t feel like he really understands what I’m feeling. Right now I’m on Buspirone and fluoxetine. Would these be the reason I am feeling this way? I rarely drink but when I do the depersonalization/derealization I feel is significantly worse and it lasts for weeks. How do I overcome this? Or is this something I will have to deal with the rest of my life?,2.5535488721804502,5.1782497142857125,4.4546766917293255,79.52974436090226,80.42857142857143,7.341353383458648,24.639097744360903,8.371475516178862,1.819228571428572,720,27,140,16,19,244,105,175,0.058,0.848,0.094,0.5755,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,1,7,0,17,2,0,4,0,31,36,12,0,2,8,0,6,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,10,6,1,0,12,3,0,2,3,2,0,0,3,7,21,4,16,30,3,24,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,5,16,93,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911716251332106,0.0,0.0,0.13627071167387111,0.0,0.0,0.08841559399041764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522114892720536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899697041388718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953081198037266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208487651996754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579815474027148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400222598694391,0.31085177044110324,0.0,0.0,0.2651295326291928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825919984841866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822770197535842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244668581192344,0.21257899052745255,0.0,0.0,0.12835664332074198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219603907763088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017425991501228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247901608306306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2787507674440502,0.1491262144980555,0.14321040314912453,0.0,0.0,0.12386414671696724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165958043910428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635873738831824,0.09293636018365413,0.0,0.0,0.08457452242047425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099270497217604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967394266002085,0.0,0.2302534503611429,0.11634307121069998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780908094822814,0.10303290275639997,0.0,0.0,0.09340159224565073
mentalhealth,confused2497,2019/03/14,"I feel ashamed that I dont give adequate support my boyfriend when hes going through a tough time when I'm in a depression spiral. I get frustrated and impatient after a short while. But I feel as if I should help him because he cant afford professional help. I've been in a spiral for a couple of weeks now. It hasn't been calling-out-of-work-cuz-i-cant-get-out-of-bed or having-a-entire-bag-of-chips-as-my-only-food-spurce-for-two-days debilitating, but it has made things like maintaining conversations--even ones over IM or text--or getting out of bed to get to work on time or staying up for 4 or 5 hours with no nap on any off day difficult. I've been feeling disconnected almost all day everyday.

And my boyfriend has been having a bit of a stressful week. Just today he was ranting about how life sucks and that it isnt possible to be passionate about a job to the point where you wake up and actually are looking forward to work. And how it's hard to be passionate about a lot of things because everything is used for wasting time. He struggles with depression, and he hasn't been on meds for about a year because he doesnt have health insurance (he should have some soon, so hes planning on looking into places that will take him).

Normally, I'd be patient and try to point out positives about his points, but given how I've been feeling, Its hard to stay present for more than a few minutes. And as much as I try, I struggle to find positive things to say. I get frustrated, like what's the point in trying to say something if it wont change their mind. I shut down when I've come to the conclusion that nothing will move us forward or backwards, which I guess shuts down the conversation.

When he said that it's not possible to wake up and look forward to work, I at first tried to spin it out to be at least a little positive. But after maybe 7-10 minutes I sneered ""well maybe you should try being less cynical"" I'm honestly not sure if he heard me, he didnt seem to acknowledge it.

He told me later in the day that our conversation was thought provoking and he thanked me for it. But still....I feel ashamed.

How am I supposed to be supportive of my boyfriend when hes going through a hard time when I'm shutting down conversations with dismissive remarks? How am I supposed to help him feel better when I get impatient about everything and just stop it? I cant pull a kanye west and go ""I'll let you finish cuz I know you're sad/frustrated...but I just want to let you know that I'm feeling so out of it and despondent that I'm incapable of helping you with this. I was depressed first! .... ok, carry on""

I know it's not my job as his significant other to fix his problems and improve the quality of life and person as a whole. But he cant afford any sort of professional help, so I feel some sense of duty to help him. And its not like I can shut him out every time hes going through a tough situation simply because I cant properly handle it.",5.960065941810129,5.383700725913624,6.597967381455753,80.2501686298198,66.65780730897009,10.220557736836806,33.524816269002315,9.725611199111238,2.9044854928017725,2335,92,491,44,33,769,256,602,0.139,0.726,0.135,0.5332,4,0,1,0,0,0,84.0,2,5,1,8,28,29,4,5,22,1,47,7,2,9,2,90,92,52,0,9,21,0,11,3,0,6,3,4,1,1,30,27,0,2,16,1,0,10,16,16,1,3,16,18,50,13,84,62,11,83,0,3,3,2,48,42,1,15,38,301,80,8,0.0,0.0,0.0651680581128493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687094563873458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908259531256074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283490025300945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059061855891274814,0.07290692421148866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064483109288455,0.057525419909412415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389126611564889,0.0,0.1722713888340233,0.0,0.17255363734031834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826615654784938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04410783852576136,0.0,0.056265385261040315,0.0,0.1200358734890248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701295007707553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061036095347163234,0.1136067846875551,0.08075115065670553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20934008358548664,0.06406186532255377,0.15181140979018432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356616308375424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794664217382881,0.0,0.0,0.07098446517457006,0.0,0.0,0.2685690528356907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657652632057125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213431470982475,0.0,0.13253852773957872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010231945812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657501082477794,0.09433797315914608,0.09787662208709118,0.06693152610752345,0.0,0.0,0.16823620473786827,0.0,0.0,0.056774326199535236,0.0,0.06318924942921891,0.0,0.0,0.1341798184271749,0.0,0.07417799362758938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742918867446315,0.0,0.0,0.07097701947239388,0.04909129359636336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654306341641176,0.06407761542897124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525214184406253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05831008814169755,0.06977132689416496,0.0,0.25251633432099857,0.1505697824133098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389984440458797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352347333161812,0.10621294296367548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06079438756217505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506399166436263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05141083100415799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423580876286271,0.05333093080859694,0.05583142253518957,0.07649674710739382,0.13962679210121431,0.0,0.0,0.1515632616838205,0.06293975687310678,0.0,0.05021056598071879,0.0,0.0,0.061482439809573186,0.0,0.0,0.1330978339027496,0.0,0.0,0.053016195160826486,0.1947010038152375,0.0,0.06330003107501081,0.0638115544774603,0.0,0.2266976128058411,0.0,0.06523476815111844,0.0,0.0803286245100318,0.05767684271667998,0.0,0.0,0.039388822773685835,0.0,0.10713445185798508,0.0,0.060043618861426035,0.0,0.0,0.07455795564741206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19446776857457848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04300440191139002
mentalhealth,alt_throwawayyyyyyyy,2019/03/14,"depressed or just lazy? hey everyone, i’m a high school student and i normally work really hard. my classes are tough and i do multiple extracurriculars, but so far i’ve kept up well. this changed a few days ago. i’ve gotten home and i just have no motivation to do anything but go to bed and sleep. deep down i want to continue doing well in school, but i just can’t focus on anything. i’ve barely slept the past few days because i’ve been trying and failing to get things done. lack of sleep and motivation are starting to take a toll on my mental health. my friends have noticed that i’m not myself, and i’m just generally disoriented and falling behind. i don’t even want meet up with friends or do things i enjoy. most recently i’ve had light suicidal thoughts, nothing i’d follow through on but disturbing and uncharacteristic for me. am i just lazy? if not, what should i do? thanks.",3.067149999999998,5.248671297142863,4.386482142857143,83.09458035714287,76.02857142857142,7.575,27.50892857142857,8.472884824447931,2.0350642857142858,707,29,140,14,16,233,106,175,0.184,0.659,0.156,-0.6691,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,4,9,10,0,1,4,0,16,4,3,2,0,35,31,17,1,6,14,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,5,10,0,1,3,0,0,3,5,4,2,0,7,2,14,6,17,23,4,20,0,2,0,0,4,10,0,4,7,88,19,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590990650205356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523404071091362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346312101019356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219339679441785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19775885435089155,0.0,0.13205524092135704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15690071980934206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126714219681224,0.0,0.0,0.14650488387215885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369110069272065,0.0,0.08010394796215385,0.0,0.08713591583807813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734559250815606,0.0,0.0,0.16297316234164236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199216270601371,0.15379356684808326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451160981384648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022212729955858,0.14711573294366667,0.17455709140394782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636234098251896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822142427398484,0.0,0.1513860919250949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103382823100473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068636583371829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852146549029668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167708401115276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527838803486473,0.0,0.0,0.1411574718440712,0.0,0.0,0.20371945550441944,0.0,0.0,0.1217198292532448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409496433736536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808655173369336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757081685469543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161958866697086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Uploaddd,2019/03/14,"Constantly Comparing My Life to Those Around Me Hello Reddit,

I am currently a freshman in college, majoring in electrical engineering. For the past months, I feel that I have conscious pressure to compete against those around me (roommates, friends, classmates, etc.). I've put a lot of time into thinking about why I do this, but I'm not sure. I do not feel jealously or envy for other's success in academics/careers, and in fact I am very content with my own life, and I wouldn't trade it for any other. There is just a constant disappointment in myself that my peers are working harder, being more productive, and putting more time in than me. My question is, what are things I can do to stop comparing my life with others?",9.916,7.971570044444448,9.093148148148147,69.94416666666667,59.66666666666667,11.962962962962965,43.24074074074074,10.504223727775694,4.588185185185185,576,28,100,10,6,182,90,135,0.103,0.821,0.076,-0.3865,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,1,1,4,0,13,3,0,0,2,23,17,5,0,1,5,0,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,11,8,0,1,5,0,1,2,3,3,0,0,0,2,17,3,21,15,6,19,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,3,8,80,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617113258718468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303335118432103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4009979288478449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20692216030022734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18762558434329146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433449831572204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931495957881573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773643527997336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809340580735045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17711551333228648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37303070901983215,0.20784326010111276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551167606350715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486588659212188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326215779012666,0.118884250706116,0.0,0.0,0.2163755651053378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308698311477026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16741776690558952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507272848997695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xorandor,2019/03/15,Do antidepressants work? The evidence in favour of antidepressants is terribly flawed. Found this article on Aeon on antidepressants and its efficacy. https://aeon.co/essays/the-evidence-in-favour-of-antidepressants-is-terribly-flawed,24.244565217391305,32.48353247826088,13.330760869565218,9.729184782608712,50.30434782608696,16.213043478260868,40.53260869565217,11.20814326018867,9.19553043478261,209,8,15,8,4,52,20,23,0.131,0.764,0.105,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,10,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8330846350224301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5531455422305638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ColejgH,2019/03/15,"I dont know if i am even happy Ive always been a person who smiles alot, at least people tell me that. I've also always been quiet. For my whole life ive never opened up to anyone, not even my parents. Im 17 now but I feel like the person i was 10 years ago wouldbt be happy with who i am today as i never really changed emotionally. Let me explain. When I was very young I used to just hide my face abd ignore teachers and people in general when they asked me if I was okay, and chose to sit with my head in my hands hoping to God that theyd just leave me alone. This behaviour still persists, because I remember this yeat being asked by my friend trinity if i was okay, only for me to follow it with a blank mind and nothing to state. The thing is, sometimes I feel anxious about just asking people if they want something, for example offering someone some food. Ill think it over until im too anxious to say anything, same with asking friends out to go do something. Back ti the smiling point at the start, I realized that maybe this is because Im trying to hide my emotion? I dont know if thats why I smile so often and laugh in stressing situations, but I think it could be. I fondly remember laughing in my grandma's funeral due to stress, and feeling outed by society for a week after due to my mind constantly thinking about it. I still think about it weekly. But anyway I know im rambling, but I dont even know if Im happy or not. when im in social situations my hands tend to sweat so much they drip, and people pointing that out makes my face go all red. But funny enough, my face going red makes me more embarrassed, making me sweat more and my face even more red, and ever repeating. Ive never seen a therapist but I feel so anxious that i cant even ask for help, I cant even get a forst job due to my weird stress. I dont know what to do, i feel like im going nowhere. ",2.74537225042301,3.928643012690358,4.386822335025382,87.0031438240271,74.45685279187816,7.0807445008460235,24.554653130287647,7.554174236665415,1.0885075465313032,1473,45,313,18,30,496,188,394,0.1,0.73,0.17,0.987,2,1,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,4,1,27,19,0,4,10,2,27,12,9,4,5,72,62,30,1,9,18,1,7,2,2,0,2,2,0,2,18,16,1,1,18,0,0,5,11,6,0,0,7,13,53,13,43,49,11,47,0,0,4,0,22,15,0,11,27,207,71,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397898311141612,0.0,0.0,0.06306796683276993,0.0,0.04869702369137895,0.10133760923995187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20637914431208976,0.0,0.04257860023813223,0.0,0.050110690692978015,0.0,0.2846390152800968,0.0,0.0,0.04682383674849774,0.0,0.07424100803826615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644179284033045,0.0,0.0,0.06580493491364382,0.0,0.0486190177194593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28546992559284323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699542818593555,0.0,0.06291992714831299,0.0,0.24132004056527734,0.05508223807269953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394954035447805,0.08700557502155999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736334387246068,0.0,0.0940933267556846,0.0,0.03181467610046163,0.0,0.13843017776928065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19446884077842186,0.0,0.0,0.06249495808157604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04081606006948038,0.0,0.0,0.060481623355791415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604328630926355,0.0,0.06042804022973675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732914076817024,0.0,0.0,0.06447810440080495,0.0,0.062268386326973735,0.04301133364370677,0.05949960420717019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194193874472138,0.0,0.06117635078810985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229714497473539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04476420124719716,0.0,0.14089594991313212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584295719743564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046312739304182865,0.0,0.0,0.06761573881950082,0.0,0.0,0.16886532426079198,0.10634083272599344,0.0,0.0,0.11512929462289692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03901034691672425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796238551236525,0.0,0.0,0.04842546616285597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689513488519595,0.0,0.06207390961516501,0.0515954092619713,0.09375857170430137,0.06022586391077989,0.0,0.04310118742402594,0.0,0.0972602815906742,0.0,0.20926210320061686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322416449147141,0.0,0.0,0.07070279276313557,0.04045536242044944,0.15607403065548922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057720526847260076,0.0,0.0,0.04134312550546275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052592987585555535,0.0,0.05024404484550838,0.035916942911076034,0.0,0.09769121593964818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494749205445488,0.06798613535471379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03921383122443161
mentalhealth,queensuloser,2019/03/15,"Feeling lost and depressed after therapy I'm not sure if anyone else has struggled with this. 

For years I have viewed visiting a psychologist, therapist, mental health professional...etc as a silver bullet to solving my mental issues, but I always kept putting it off (something about telling a stranger my personal problems scared me, especially when considering the high price). I knew deep down I desperately needed therapy to change my mindset on life and to control my anxiety + depression.

I've been struggling a lot recently (especially with anxiety and depression) and its starting to change who I am and it's impacting my life a lot. 

So I finally decided to book a session. I picked one of the top rated therapists in the area (who has written a book and has an endless list of testimonials and has done speaking events). I overcame my anxiety to see this person, knowing this is the first step towards fixing myself and towards a better, healthier life. 

But god it was a disappointment. It was worse than the worst-case scenario I created in my head. He didn't let me speak about my thoughts and feelings - he didn't even ask about my life. He just asked for some basic info and continued to ramble for over 2 hours while I stayed quiet and nodded my head. He made assumptions about who I am and I feel attacked (Eg. telling me that my parents did a bad job of raising me or saying I shouldn't choose to hide in my room all day even though I'm extremely active and go outside a lot). 

I feel exploited. The guy made easy money off of me (the session cost a lot) and provided me with 0 value - not even letting me speak. I'm financially in a tight spot and I feel extremely guilty for doing it. Its been a week and I feel extremely hopeless and depressed. I got over my anxiety to see someone and it turned out to be a horrible experience - that too with someone so highly ranked. This was supposed to be a big first step towards bettering myself and instead  I feel like my time, courage, and money went to waste. I feel like a burden and that there is no hope. I'm not sure why I'm struggling to get over it, but I just feel hurt over the experience. 

Has anyone experienced anything similar? How do I get over this mental block? Is therapy even worth it or is it just endless talking? ",5.011100917431194,6.5315269793578,5.908153669724772,76.97168004587158,69.3440366972477,9.211467889908258,32.89105504587156,9.595489714322824,3.2615174311926607,1817,84,328,41,32,598,219,436,0.206,0.703,0.091,-0.9957,2,0,1,0,0,1,51.0,0,0,0,8,19,24,1,4,26,0,28,7,2,5,3,73,63,34,0,5,12,1,10,2,0,1,5,5,1,3,22,26,0,4,15,2,5,6,7,16,0,3,18,19,44,8,49,40,6,46,0,8,3,0,21,24,0,9,17,225,66,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059351821922845084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21826735605558611,0.0,0.0,0.09975042900701586,0.07308545754788308,0.05869806506680152,0.0,0.13336682618747212,0.08114755426611933,0.0,0.0,0.05955711677544119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617021556127386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091421413656902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000205077362951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04600159852799286,0.0,0.245743825582766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299479909623485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059586608141149314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955119912964106,0.18844973327562844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954779108660426,0.0,0.0,0.3245968479216297,0.10191555600541063,0.0,0.07813793308056491,0.0,0.12134559858429354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453339405221165,0.0,0.04053817393824494,0.0,0.05704868246291912,0.0,0.0,0.07062737637332878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640920191241452,0.07581987678362415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072697418161887,0.0,0.07084624486290525,0.07024514646461069,0.0,0.07635965849432774,0.0,0.0,0.07444942065056723,0.07078347929779043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039200803886578185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458784040563072,0.20152841846037395,0.06969593894842918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786452785231393,0.24256701273078896,0.0,0.13498731289982108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156499459677944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288988821031086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048334685770669884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920292021285348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456426028633664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825265665288516,0.0,0.07170580514830258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042923308104855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056724046793388765,0.07141322951836175,0.0,0.11368068360907085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087443410281452,0.05491290048453326,0.0,0.0,0.05048735646795633,0.0760277099828149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237071057752932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445433727434206,0.0,0.0,0.05733191525306866,0.12469017797371222,0.0,0.2447143499233044,0.16563799351489164,0.0,0.0,0.07008082888868375,0.056627620913180764,0.04159277972332389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775859659437582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721618750790808,0.0,0.0,0.06612312082952855,0.06436373993787146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269081005769078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04593383138206887
mentalhealth,LilMissB1997,2019/03/15,"I have short panick attacks and it makes me feel guilty about having aniexty I just had a panick attack. I was reading up on them (science helps me) and all say that they can last up to 30 minutes normally reaching the peak at 10. This is silly to feel like, but it feels like mine only last a few minutes. I'm not sure weather there was a build up I just don't notice or a cool down I don't see as the panick attack, but generally my attacks, the part of shortness of breath, dizziness and intense fear etc, only last maybe 2 to 5 minutes. It makes me feel like Freud for not having people long ones like others and feel guilty. Does anyone understand what I mean or also have short panick attacks?",3.437207792207793,4.973895785714287,4.29220779220779,86.95824675324678,73.28571428571429,5.948051948051948,24.870129870129876,6.11248444174946,0.7433571428571429,550,17,107,3,11,177,88,140,0.198,0.691,0.111,-0.9472,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,5,13,5,1,7,1,11,1,1,2,2,25,22,10,0,1,8,0,5,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,7,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,8,13,7,14,19,4,13,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,2,8,71,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316685396637556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146112287312192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6626909733351364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101951955208893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299308699022857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310974865619692,0.29453533824358763,0.2496878172781203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808904158241814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28489479219770264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276685725747113,0.0,0.0,0.10310087685337664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555323910746172,0.0,0.11704222780006622,0.12690516771052449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414752648656845,0.0,0.13263865032823985,0.0,0.0,0.07894497930071746,0.1772105107236563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616064697077667,0.0,0.08076803166193855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653383561675948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264731172979636,0.0,0.0,0.09283725621999764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980204695419406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128301175805913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,POKEMANAPHY,2019/03/15,"Is this just anxiety hightened by weed or is there something wrong with me? To start off this post I've have had issues with anxiety in the past, but more minor and was getting good control over it (it's borederline non-existent in my day to day life now). But a few months ago I lost my brother in a car accident and ever since my anxiety has been amped up to an 11, as well as frequent panic attacks that I've barely experienced before. I should also mention I've been on a new medication (Vyvanse) for the last 5 months while these panic attacks started around 3 months ago, but I'm convinced it's the cause to this peak in anxiety and I'm wanting to taper off of it, also a frequent smoker but I'm quitting that too because fuck smoking honestly.

It seems to flare up when I smoke a bit of weed. During the day I'll feel fine, but I'll sometimes smoke a bowl in the evening or night to relax while burning through my workload (I know it doesn't help that it's usually sativa) But lately whenever I smoke weed I feel this intense pressure in the back of my head that starts in the back of my neck, as it feels stiff. I get heart palpitations and chest pains/tightness and it feels like pins and needles are shooting up my neck and into my head and all over my body. It used to feel like I was on the verge of a heart attack, but after getting those symptoms under control it feels more like I'm on the verge of a stroke. The other night it was so bad my left arm felt like it was weakening or numbing, but I could still move it. There was no drooping in my face or arms when I raised them. One side of my head will feel heavier than the other and like it's clogged or stuffed, the pressure will sometimes be behind my eye(s) but more dull, accompanied by clicking and small cracking in my neck and head (which feels like it relieves some tension after) It feels like my head is on the verge of exploding from the pressure as my nose becomes stuffed and breathing feels easier on one side of my throat, if that makes sense. Sometimes it feels like there's popping in my head.

I've been smoking weed for years and have greened out numerous times before but they never constituted a panic attack, let alone to this extent. Drinking water and deep breathing while stretching my back/neck usually helps resolve these issues but I can't stop thinking about it. Deep down I know I'm not having a heart attack or stroke but it just feels like I'm on the verge of something happening. It's like the panic overrides my rationalization but idk if it's my body emitting warning signs. I just had a check up and they said my blood pressure was fine and my heart was healthy, but I just can't shake that feeling there's some underlying issue.

I've gotten better and calming myself down but these symptoms are so persistent. Do the symptoms sound like the possibility of an underlying issue or am I just freaking myself out and further inducing it? Would really appreciate some advice.

",5.838457213645892,6.30510396397942,5.9868967981703864,80.983573708786,66.82161234991423,8.536096817228893,32.14641700019057,8.344100000000001,2.350944387268916,2373,93,454,30,36,754,254,583,0.161,0.701,0.139,-0.9405,0,1,7,1,0,0,46.0,0,0,3,7,25,44,6,10,31,0,33,36,24,6,3,92,71,55,0,6,30,1,16,11,0,4,9,2,0,0,41,24,2,4,20,2,1,3,6,22,1,2,16,22,44,22,70,48,10,86,0,2,2,1,8,45,1,13,48,300,85,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210961288170976,0.0945406770197454,0.0,0.0,0.055229720336912924,0.0,0.08528966874249748,0.0,0.0577787684123027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317717298253287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04747150302777437,0.0,0.3033304828281292,0.0,0.12301335552379422,0.04452503627675822,0.03250707385538736,0.05889444842634114,0.09075310617372694,0.0,0.0,0.04716257039518607,0.05821825090885426,0.11846647191971048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05478055739803233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196194310863538,0.04257652317889407,0.0,0.0,0.10317269979525012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052239241589767005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035221362553865036,0.048236478153054194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505223850648393,0.2666730570413257,0.05120138439166893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929908717992108,0.08358200296659818,0.0,0.0,0.04472737271438722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715606256694151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283675593790454,0.0,0.0,0.2527665719010309,0.07148667369821518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22263422641823027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861322070741054,0.043467859756529226,0.060154123273847136,0.0,0.05793892491461814,0.05452951371951766,0.03766577626893269,0.2865766356600464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05821169853417987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035595562017877606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053720399616806296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769306734184238,0.05667716712914515,0.0,0.0,0.04112834825186648,0.05150264521686639,0.0,0.10008579791699992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227024254646999,0.0,0.0,0.2502665869526466,0.0,0.0,0.05090576236425082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06011712513341999,0.05107162893374803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567188334402817,0.0,0.0,0.034162042295886194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05072529871503331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854604617083965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411187146259357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210601918003091,0.15822252347191745,0.0,0.1132333883822431,0.0,0.04258626385075759,0.04458297755537091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662785970443142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03416918880472994,0.0,0.0,0.031094856942367344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046056598014884716,0.1174622519997058,0.0,0.031453094367153135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04794653602735959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03788130609403845,0.058303680069084464,0.0,0.034340237058965
mentalhealth,jaxluger,2019/03/15,Mental break I have a friend  who reach her point no matter of what I done or how much I try to help or try to be there she still feels trap alone she tells me all the time now she feel like she needs to go ghost for a while so I told her do whatever makes her happy I honestly  just wanna be in her corner and support her I'm assuming  shes going to family  but honestly  do yall believe I'm  being a supportive friend ?,0.5505006105006132,2.401676846153848,2.8764102564102565,92.44914529914531,82.73626373626374,6.681807081807082,17.803418803418804,7.793537801064563,0.35810525030525,327,7,76,6,9,112,64,91,0.067,0.67,0.263,0.9493,0,1,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,2,1,14,19,7,1,2,4,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,17,8,8,14,2,10,0,0,0,0,17,3,0,3,5,52,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096439471894667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228055710229687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207143837945488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19082162583785608,0.0,0.20469719211653475,0.14460742188958245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127752076986309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300775681784965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21547766868850826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567648318800946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889118445245998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511555152430876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398968151878555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880048166337714,0.15009034298385682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19135038732009726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165123406858714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4594029753311625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692220774201006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803153278566925,0.0,0.0,0.1934190229331891,0.0,0.2748569981048194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CornBread5287,2019/03/15,"I'm so tired of trying It's so exhausting every single day to try and laugh at work and be happy around friends and family. I'm so tired of trying to be okay. I never get better, I'm sick of pretending. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.",0.8038888888888921,2.474656055555556,3.4812592592592613,89.3396666666667,81.03703703703705,6.542222222222222,16.355555555555554,7.554174236665415,0.12242666666666667,193,3,43,3,5,68,30,54,0.373,0.447,0.18,-0.9395,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,0,1,7,8,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,8,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,23,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736418669758911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634010004831744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400304714160105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893768284493886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666445162644873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657328659056694,0.0,0.09235585618385853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18817663724816824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363371424975422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8126917224231599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3600489039696677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869181782524247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LordBeepomweepum,2019/03/15,"I can’t recognize myself Just for context, I am from the US and 15 years old female. I don’t know what to do about any of the problems I am facing, and I would really like to have some kind of information about what I can do or what this is. 

For the past 10-11 months, I’ve felt completely apathetic towards almost everything, and very disconnected from who I think I used to be. When I reflect or try to describe myself, I see nothing there. I feel like I can’t see what I used to be either, I honest to god have no idea who I am or was, except for my name. My name is really the only thing I know about myself. I also can’t recognize myself in a mirror anymore either. I feel as if my whole body doesn’t belong to me, and whenever I move I don’t feel like I am in this body. 

I am very disconnected from myself, and I really just feel nothing but apathetic about everything, it all feels grey. I don’t know what this is, or what I’ve been experiencing for the longest time. If anyone could shed some light on this, it would be very much appreciated. ",4.649523641496117,4.524715857798167,6.3766055045871575,79.21331333803812,69.3211009174312,9.64347212420607,26.860973888496822,9.466822959209583,2.017897953422724,819,22,176,16,13,285,103,218,0.043,0.878,0.079,0.7287,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,6,0,28,3,3,2,1,42,42,15,0,6,12,0,6,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,0,13,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,3,11,34,5,26,33,7,11,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,9,9,134,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750115465165954,0.0,0.0,0.10182459894446062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658778326849749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627571175331434,0.08903108576699056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828666395225233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350156675251873,0.0,0.0,0.10166148986296256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22886938898925985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32190571447704197,0.18192708939768185,0.12225537999973687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373843942326184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259309555304866,0.20992933069283026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866189001861467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163243733014538,0.1353301026331171,0.09360113808910082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443503640177753,0.0,0.13360989886574584,0.0,0.0,0.09683910325925388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154951269306745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183623045592284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24470979713178706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292874513326545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459143375418103,0.08158699635247989,0.0,0.0,0.07424630401487986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644773036610688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316057338175348,0.21994197847201308,0.0,0.31517817689423433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215778381345096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18090110361025974,0.0,0.0,0.08199541439758264
mentalhealth,atttackdd33,2019/03/15,"Trying to rid myself fully of toxic past views (Throwaway account)
So, a little backstory, when I was 14-16, i was going down a rabbit hole of right-wing radicalisation, i watched people like Alex Jones, Tommy Robinson, Richard spencer, etc. 
And supported organizations like the EDL and the proud boys.
it got to the point when I was on the verge of almost committing crimes, but I had a miraculous reality check and realized that I was digging myself into a deeper hole of hatred, after a few talks with my parents and other things, I distanced myself as much as posible from everything right-wing and I saved myself from posibly becoming a right-wing terrorist like Brenton Tarrant.

Im 20 now and since those days I've been mostly fine, I'm more of a centrist now, but...I unfortunately still have some of my past views stuck in my sub-conscious and I don't want anything to do with them anymore, I feel torn apart sometimes, I don't want these views but I still have them in my head.
What can I do to rid myself of them? Will therapy help? I'm concerned because I fear i could slip back into my teenage alt-right mindset again and I don't want that to happen at any cost.
Thanks ",5.030789473684212,6.261231333333335,5.597324561403512,80.31335526315792,69.0,7.980701754385965,29.60087719298245,8.278499904357787,2.092029824561404,936,35,175,13,16,302,136,228,0.129,0.762,0.11,-0.8103,2,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,3,1,9,9,0,1,11,0,16,1,1,0,1,25,28,15,0,4,2,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,12,0,0,2,0,3,1,3,1,0,0,8,5,29,8,26,18,6,24,0,0,4,0,7,11,0,3,15,115,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408415405547614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978495256601034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426993281389286,0.0,0.0,0.11840847338056815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064184010513928,0.0,0.0877134629604839,0.15891421182980073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148837420880068,0.0,0.0,0.09279656916401714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047438759377244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931824967312952,0.0,0.0,0.16191524683038186,0.07275465494060065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817754943744873,0.0,0.11508126189712455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724066047065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476717338773175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644583412046208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542492504123154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108908459499532,0.1442146843704636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577504836755107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597718231259229,0.0,0.27471686448775284,0.09975458817332218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602171342241312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915220383575384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902655467743956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231000421434226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298200504614019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328365134523087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156526122858428,0.0,0.13247375589822333,0.16454973178281154,0.0,0.09559352780851374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769125725838504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546085667420357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skydragonwhore,2019/03/15,"My boss thought I was talking to myself. I'm not big in how she reacted. Today I was working in my station assembling some parts. I had the World War Z audiobook playing on my laptop. She overheard it and asked me if I was talking to myself. I told her I wasnt. She then said that if I was she wasn't sure if she should call the cops or something. 

​

I think she was joking but it just made me realize that people will call the cops on you if they suspect you are doing something semi off. If someone is talking to themselves they will call the cops. I assume they think the person will recieve medical assistance in jail which is not the case. Well not immediately but calling the cops seems to be a dangerous step. 

​

Am I wrong in thinking that?",2.4745253863134664,4.818405635761593,3.6525562913907312,86.80541280353201,78.73509933774835,6.1458719646799125,27.285209713024287,7.3011,1.5545042825607067,605,26,116,8,15,196,87,151,0.116,0.8640000000000001,0.019,-0.9371,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,3,1,3,7,2,0,8,0,18,1,0,4,1,28,28,11,1,6,12,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,8,2,0,1,5,3,1,0,12,1,29,4,11,11,2,12,0,0,0,0,24,9,0,9,2,90,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283114462190861,0.3175036387961514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213839712187502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5336255310836463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362245170472445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161428033270287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414792300270249,0.0,0.0905749867704494,0.11407693745863715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427632207992476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893718169167032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069776537666667,0.20115867905759466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231343484000126,0.0,0.0,0.3150301360441955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511422044232069,0.0,0.10372004866395723,0.0,0.0,0.12383918317060486,0.12483991949341848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746838963783013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511341939448607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14284325782714466,0.3175036387961514,0.0
mentalhealth,ItsTana,2019/03/15,"How can I get violent and suicidal of thoughts out my head? I'm not sure when exactly, but around 2016 I've started to pick up violent actions. Around that time, I was probobly considered a wild child. I would make many episodes of yelling stupid shit and whatnot. I went to the next grade, doing the same retarded shit I would. I had a group of freinds that would do stuff like I would, so I guess that gave me a lot more courage to continue these acts. When I was getting ready to go to the next grade and already was, I started to wonder why I was so crazy. I thinj this is when I picked up cutting. I would look back at it and hope everyone else wouldn't remember. My freinds still act a bit wild, but not as much as we used to. I probably have antisocial disorder or/and bipolar disorder. I picked up a shady attitude with many people, but to the point where I had audacity to punch peole in the face when they do small things to me, such as break my pencils. I even sometimes imagine stabbing people, killing myself, running away, ect. In the right group and conditions, I can be a upbeat and happy person. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want ro stay as a happy person. Things like this are affecting my learning and whatnot. Especially math. I suck at math. I want to go to a very good school, but they only accept specific grades. I don't want to disappoint my family by failing. Are there any tips you guys have?",3.329170379474576,5.023104049469968,4.135904132739288,87.32559225687511,73.87632508833923,7.8899370102934405,28.205407896758327,8.587818076936951,1.999813458288524,1118,45,232,21,23,358,157,283,0.202,0.667,0.131,-0.9672,0,0,0,0,1,1,36.0,1,1,2,1,15,20,8,0,14,0,26,5,4,7,2,47,47,22,2,11,6,0,0,3,0,6,1,1,0,4,11,12,0,0,6,0,0,7,5,10,0,0,9,2,36,10,34,30,5,36,0,2,1,0,11,15,3,4,15,151,47,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557383662342413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122102499019503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386552563136804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646651432590688,0.0,0.0,0.09839871058162332,0.08053207418155367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433969460345175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400627908443113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748974609670505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917418120704644,0.0,0.0,0.1000754555213372,0.0,0.0,0.09873155618018996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943579312161683,0.0,0.11904267269852715,0.08784383001448096,0.0,0.0,0.11537357680518773,0.10370067065642807,0.0,0.2229773010085662,0.0,0.0,0.10748475455420764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402203059247704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586990960353652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349959142141348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794809948444934,0.0,0.0,0.08903899306108254,0.0,0.0,0.06990910284704825,0.21236264601602609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698971775594482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227663193255625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965304033559509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521529806609149,0.1828950471448209,0.0,0.0,0.09900513860964784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291829224976732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864039595924783,0.08944014582833912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599388957909443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21501080047514207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358215124835302,0.0,0.14825901779849626,0.1116298653374249,0.08363872715140401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989253359216925,0.1145592842557506,0.0,0.0987082181441486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915793637264454,0.0,0.0,0.08314512824792397,0.06106979153486688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045440681033844,0.0,0.08641447236400608,0.24709345596137666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097087168291127,0.09450390684530267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357686588185167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37199133453470784,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spatularsam,2019/03/15,"Looking for a bit of advice please Moderators please delete if this is not allowed.  

I’m looking for some advice regarding psychosis/schizophrenia.  
What are “red flags” regarding these mental illnesses?   
Are symptoms easy to distinguish? Or are they easily overlooked?  
I am asking for help because I’m uncertain as to whether a friend I work with has either of those mental illnesses and I am slightly worried for her, thank you in advance! ",6.0612030075188,9.016511736842103,5.723233082706766,73.36763157894737,69.78947368421052,8.553383458646618,35.85714285714286,9.23628265651192,4.025314285714287,356,19,51,8,7,110,56,76,0.134,0.6459999999999999,0.221,0.8188,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,2,0,3,0,1,2,0,7,3,0,1,0,11,13,5,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,6,2,11,13,3,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,4,0,37,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4120612197854712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971071320036668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852623310514813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301828986691562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628946207466181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132174628393634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3541053444647338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42495467657709024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4628784658376546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21914370411793416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411333512804232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534941816307118,0.21411846441245624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ladyfmary,2019/03/15,"I need some tips on how to beat anxiety. Hello there, everyone.
I've been suffering from anxiety for a long time now, two years ago I was under medication but about 8 months ago I was able to get off of all that (fortunately).
However, for the last 4 months, I've been feeling a lot of anxiety, never really to the point of having an anxiety attack, but starting to affect my general well-being.

I got sick around Christmas time, and in that time I experienced a lot of chest pain due to anxiety. In the meantime, I got all better, but the anxiety persisted.

I've tried nearly everything to try to beat this:
- Joined the gym and I now workout 4 times a week, with a balanced diet (trying to avoid sugars, processed foods...)
- I started taking CDB in capsules every morning
- Started taking supplements (vit D, multivitamins, and omega)
- A few days ago I started adding ashwagandha to my protein milkshake
- I turn my cell phone off at least 2 hours before going to sleep
- Started meditating (although I've stopped for the past couple of weeks, mostly because of lack of motivation, but I must admit it did help)
- Learned some breathing techniques
- Yoga and stretch before bed
- Started a daily log of my activities and mood tracking
- Bought lavender essential oils that I use on my skin and pillow at night
- A cup of chamomile tea before bed every night. 

This is to say that even though all these things really helped me, but I still find myself with a lot of this uncomfortable feeling.
I usually wake up 2/3 hours before my alarm clock, and I have a lot of trouble getting back to sleep due to this chest pain. It doesn't help that my mind starts wondering and I get in a loop of worrying thoughts. Then I worry about worrying.
I even started reading some psychology books on this. 

Last but not least, I started smoking weed before going to bed, which I intend to stop doing, as I think it actually affects my sleep quality in a bad way. Despite this, I find that weed works magically when it comes to stop the negative thoughts and 'unstuck' my mind. But I'm worried it might be causing me more anxiety in general (is this possible? anyone feel this way about weed?)

Basically I've tried almost everything and it doesn't look like I'm getting better. Getting back on medication is seriously not an option, as for my previous experience I became a complete zombie due to how doped in those drugs I were.

I became this person who worries a lot more than I probably should, with little motivation to do the stuff that I enjoy, and I'm starting to question everything around me - my job, my relationships, even my dreams and future - all because I can't really enjoy stuff or truly embrace anything without fear crippling in. 

I would love if you would give me some suggestions, or tell me about your own experience and if any of these worked for you in the long run - it's possible it takes longer for it to really start working. I would love some book recommendations if they helped you, new techniques, etc., and also if you have any special secret on how to get back to sleep once you wake up in the middle of the night.

Hope you have a great day, thanks for your help!",7.973877484522648,7.401926336700338,8.152600195503421,70.74083577712612,62.56902356902357,11.233539698055827,36.501357662647976,10.598780456956122,3.860047203214944,2500,103,444,53,31,819,285,594,0.146,0.745,0.109,-0.9505,2,1,1,0,0,0,84.0,0,8,1,10,22,22,1,3,28,0,25,22,10,10,6,94,71,37,0,12,16,0,4,1,0,6,6,1,4,1,33,20,4,4,15,7,1,4,8,10,0,1,11,9,58,11,80,53,23,89,0,1,1,2,29,29,0,23,55,297,91,10,0.0512842029180664,0.0,0.05004598421282377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638105472537934,0.0,0.05135372123468025,0.0,0.0,0.04101195854510552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975003318907519,0.0,0.2746259240289922,0.0,0.0,0.03585910709742292,0.0,0.04220252930428784,0.09130762695898934,0.0,0.058343184447217714,0.0,0.11830315937720093,0.042820167293998485,0.06252474819218255,0.0,0.2181953971162452,0.0,0.0,0.09071341982897016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052683003280711016,0.0,0.044176799800251694,0.053770511036800785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056744995087711386,0.0,0.06614813649180103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05947339372811545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05719544262045386,0.10161819706363746,0.0,0.08641830565601166,0.04900425362444629,0.1382728042747933,0.10033158224174424,0.0,0.05770898613993599,0.07779250173977664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937456647508806,0.0,0.062013061735470276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607632760836367,0.04919648050621333,0.058291988726514324,0.0,0.08203332394934587,0.056541014766308975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187360095689094,0.0,0.0,0.050936785080101965,0.10100921891660104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050891658113854536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360694037921458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025054871080618508,0.05140024416742385,0.0,0.09076981152547564,0.04306581419462124,0.0,0.0,0.2179999769024434,0.0925719908050375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332687813632832,0.0,0.05440443492068338,0.10356485092871996,0.0,0.08186912297873004,0.0,0.0,0.038026586643970586,0.0395535388612372,0.049530602750364264,0.0,0.14438025105427135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546160023724214,0.0,0.0,0.10914001541995166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04895657461381092,0.0,0.04477938786413484,0.0,0.0,0.04848014827687906,0.1156304663940729,0.0,0.0,0.055293044667352485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05745004420944179,0.0,0.051298081151710334,0.0,0.13141589438552198,0.0,0.0,0.05506004135683932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04078325655762928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052849590243377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3992914506212633,0.0,0.04095563069687338,0.12862766998229758,0.0,0.0,0.11741628540627408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567801458975213,0.0,0.04482465379313393,0.047215603796994216,0.0,0.0,0.0340709456296488,0.032860846464542924,0.05038646898287983,0.08142785723177964,0.11961692455263845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927442959149933,0.05578248614526864,0.05009721436481437,0.0,0.0,0.04429308534935998,0.0564823041366359,0.0,0.0,0.08141402638640839,0.0822741883308793,0.0,0.04611065740851415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049436141531967126,0.05561553042701165,0.11200653154878357,0.26040798728873243,0.0,0.10929247901198956,0.0,0.0,0.03302534526059478
mentalhealth,OzaisDaddy,2019/03/15,"Unintentional Permanent Scars I've had [these dark marks](https://www.google.com/search?q=erythema+ab+igne&client=ms-android-att-aio-us&prmd=inv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjo9tqAoIXhAhWEk1kKHU8rAqQQ_AUoAXoECAwQAQ&biw=360&bih=560) all over my lower leg for about a year. I thought it was just scars caused by a sports injury so I did nothing about it.

Recently, I've got it on the backs of my upper leg and they look even worse than the ones on my shin. I just found out that it's Erythema Ab Igne caused by the heater I use in my room and that it's practically unremovable for someone with skin like mine. I also just lost my health insurance a month ago so good treatment for my skin type isn't even an option. 

I've been crying and I don't know what to do. I just feel so ugly. It looks like a contagious fucking disease; I didn't think people could be even *more* repelled from me, but here we are. Now I'm not only fucking weird, but even more weird looking too. I don't even know what I want from posting this, but I'm just so upset.",5.833560606060607,8.119153101010108,4.969583333333336,81.47437500000005,68.49494949494951,7.77828282828283,26.01136363636364,8.472884824447931,1.6389484848484843,886,27,163,14,16,264,122,198,0.112,0.821,0.067,-0.7714,1,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,1,0,1,1,21,9,2,1,8,0,12,7,4,3,1,28,29,11,0,2,9,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,12,6,0,0,6,1,0,0,5,6,0,1,9,6,20,3,18,18,3,14,0,1,3,2,2,7,2,1,8,100,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028945075077322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243295556917048,0.0,0.7851055401113356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964673874683755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18609136316595706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231692788062025,0.0,0.09949260528805214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29912033034765034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579754313964054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931103290414058,0.0,0.16747062775375113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597018134349175,0.07244126249517363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627720324661804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955552352029293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850093622218964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281810708463296,0.0,0.09887353147688467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229626135366574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690934825023927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613761003474657,0.06888652188614816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279343993830619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674600532385672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943208397975229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674407393623009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803693157725653,0.0,0.0719065922988716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089508146529532,0.07822789247197638,0.0,0.0,0.05342360031171619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230386794293967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058327459862378576
mentalhealth,xsoutherndiscomfortx,2019/03/15,"I don’t know how to stop believing I’m an unlovable person I know from a logical, objective standpoint I’m a loveable person, but I don’t believe it deep down. Any suggestions oh how I can start to work through this? I also do therapy but yeah, want some more support please.",0.7618636363636355,3.308089254545454,2.7530681818181826,87.5696022727273,92.8181818181818,6.386363636363638,26.875,7.6454224807358475,2.130500000000001,219,11,42,5,8,73,39,55,0.07400000000000001,0.71,0.217,0.8251,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,2,0,10,11,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,5,11,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,2,26,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19798245750996968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835678509461352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.55785552850285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721171192084895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4323389357464161,0.0,0.2717586388814206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17523204419815785,0.0,0.0,0.20698046058012368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809406628549597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831190406314926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602380360750872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180234653174857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaydesus,2019/03/15,"a topic of bathroom phobias, as well as questions about getting help This is a throw away account, obviously. But if someone is willing to give more indepth talks, I would be okay with sharing my main account I just don't want specific people -- my boyfriend who shares my account -- to find out about this, because I'm pretty ashamed.  


  
I have a very extreme bathroom phobia, as well as people anxiety. Its so intense that I can't even be around my parents, I'm scared to get food, or leave my room when they're awake, and even go to the bathroom. Lately I've gotten to a point in this phobia where instead of using the toliet, I resolve in peeing (and such) in my room, and cleaning it up when my family goes to bed. I was wondering, is this a normal thing? do other people do this? Or am I just fucked up?  


I hate myself for it, but its just became such a normal for me that I dont know how to tell my therapist- I'm scared of them thinking badly of me.  


Another thing I'm scared to talk to my therapist about is my..homicidal issues. I, as a person am very loving. I love people, animals, and would never want to do harm to them normaly. But oer the past few months I've gotten...off. I've killed multiple of my fish, and even one of my gerbils. I didn't feel bad about it. Because of my autism I've learned how to act  normal, feign emotions. So I can't tell if the guilt I felt when my parents found out was true or not. I can't tell  


I've also been sinking into a unrealistic world lately, too. I dont feel lalive, whenever I'm outside it all just feels wrong, not real, disgusting. So I spend most of my time in my room. Lying to my friends about going out and doing things. Its...becoming an isssue.  


  
 I know I need to tell my therapist about these things. But I know if I mentoned te animal things, they'd take my cat, my therapy animal, away from me. And that scares me more then anything. I dont know what to do. I know I need help, but nothing is helping anyone. And my mental health worker, who I finally connected with, just quit her job, so I have no one I trust not to take my kitty.  


what do I do?  
How can I help myself? Who can I get help from who wont think disgustingly of me?  


I'm so scared. I've wanted to kill myself for my actions so much lately, but self harm never works. Poison/od has never worked, and dehydration too, is too much for me. I've decided that it's gods wish for me to be alive. But i  Know if I'm going to keep alive, I need to sort myself out.  


Please help me. I can't live with myself like this anymore  


I live in England for reference. And all the therapist and psychiatrists that have tried to help me have given up so quickly. I dont want to die. I dont want to hurt anyone. Please help me.",1.925111103055788,3.6082717282415686,3.730096784717439,88.78422481603657,77.72113676731793,6.514213216370032,22.857469097763442,7.369714342285796,0.8289713198245554,2105,64,451,27,49,708,236,563,0.132,0.7040000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9725,3,0,0,0,0,2,90.0,0,0,3,5,39,31,6,7,14,1,44,6,1,4,7,91,91,45,3,18,22,2,4,1,1,4,1,0,5,2,31,20,1,1,20,0,4,6,19,19,2,2,8,4,77,12,70,75,9,43,0,1,0,3,33,22,1,11,16,311,108,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04644236185994036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089644591165995,0.04442702983064115,0.0,0.05759455338063955,0.08121444022046699,0.0,0.04779057638027343,0.051698845924878514,0.0,0.0,0.1091262910331408,0.0,0.0969799919301047,0.07080366516876678,0.0641390059472668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027242851459778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403159110024876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06532628451063895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507348702680785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474771198824256,0.0,0.0880930256431247,0.0,0.0557608736604916,0.06361805716821582,0.05307927540661971,0.0,0.07022422618500485,0.06367597305088626,0.044868412877630735,0.05368917665953636,0.09102499010690132,0.05571059834638735,0.09901566750323228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057336798874618185,0.0,0.06173075055279935,0.0,0.0,0.31141028140977844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217022805592823,0.0,0.0,0.06061495758026893,0.05763023482959394,0.051619512027460984,0.12850222734260794,0.0,0.19149820460121533,0.0,0.19653256496184132,0.061492781891623674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028372392598624337,0.0,0.10256214808848747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482947041737196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852569531009754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046354716641396586,0.0,0.08538325651559568,0.12918508843770565,0.1343724974227562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170702793047609,0.05572429522905098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870591609828627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897028900919888,0.0,0.05543892645695463,0.16104689569157926,0.05070863740305241,0.0,0.12749728641852262,0.054899416393930936,0.0,0.0,0.05908290569976199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505701840866822,0.06176965219222904,0.0,0.06610178717705761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907148128286023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06058463675291685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04920655279555417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732997891997987,0.09335657902218618,0.20303958801847746,0.0,0.06641354542123924,0.2697170740309722,0.19291143875782346,0.07442391812874675,0.0,0.0,0.03386385759007969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039428947594707935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015794345509736,0.0,0.09583551252785387,0.17126998049721864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443236133727757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678310399719209,0.0,0.06297959621418889,0.08455822892314639,0.0,0.0,0.08250928166496156,0.06349562959869749,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,a_little_bit_lost,2019/03/15,"How have I ended up so unlovable? I thought writing it down might help. But I don't have anyone to tell. Posting it on twitter seemed inappropriate and posting it on facebook seemed like a cry for attention.

​

Today I thought about killing myself. It was a very passing fleeting thought, stemmed from my regular thoughts of wanting my life and existence to be over. I thought once more about how suicide would never be a plan or option for me, but then I also started to think, god what would I do.  
I’m not going to go in to that. But what strikes me now, is that if I had have carried on with that path, I could be dead now, and not one person would know for another 60 odd hours. I got home in floods of tears, convinced I would at a minimum self harm for the first in 4 years. I didn’t, which is good, but I’ve been in bed since 6pm and I haven’t spoken to anyone. I haven’t seen anyone. And I don’t have any plans to or reasons to. My life is very empty, very small and very lonely. I have a job and I have friends but I do not have a network. I do not have people. If I had stopped existing tonight, if I had been hurt or abducted on my way home, it would not be noticed until Monday. No one would know.  
How have I ended up so alone. I thought of who I could turn to this evening, all I wanted was a hug from anyone, to tell me it would be ok, and my only options were friends who have better friends, friends who have long term relationships. My options were to intrude on someone’s life and place this unnecessary burden on to them, or to pretend I am ok, that I haven’t spent days wishing someone would accidentally kill me, swift and quick. That I haven’t wished for it all to be over.  
It feels disgusting to think and have these thoughts on a day like today, when so many beautiful people lost their lives and their opportunities. For me to be so ungrateful with the unlimited possibilities I could have. I just don’t feel like I have them. I don’t feel like they’re out there for me. I’m in a small room, watching everyone outside flourish and grow, and I’m just here watching, waiting for it all to be over.",3.63243909707219,4.649788799076212,4.409844297101992,88.3242546375624,72.094688221709,7.249914326156597,28.748342397377638,7.4822170145007005,1.4555796617745655,1662,64,361,18,31,534,195,433,0.17,0.69,0.14,-0.9463,1,3,0,0,0,4,54.0,0,0,4,6,19,24,3,0,11,2,59,4,0,4,4,83,91,37,4,18,19,0,3,4,4,9,3,0,4,2,23,17,0,2,18,1,1,4,16,9,0,3,21,6,49,15,55,50,5,53,0,3,3,1,18,24,0,13,26,255,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489296450975824,0.0,0.057827525607727324,0.0,0.07834954125646759,0.0878664560419643,0.04917433808903577,0.07582497195117069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022476865293657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395369538807763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320468146140414,0.0,0.07943084932631353,0.09326994351357487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809315170410845,0.0,0.0,0.04776110108181991,0.0,0.0,0.0690967910795722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968868705693588,0.1033187808244843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061508173018655174,0.0,0.0,0.22347091670178945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219264795902194,0.060651502793768575,0.05783415751957456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04846891205986099,0.0,0.14506877418717468,0.0,0.07121231709883039,0.0,0.07741101681659937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071758061970192,0.0,0.1600040468379874,0.0,0.0794810806838152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322737258853975,0.1413110956326844,0.0,0.06385242919876499,0.06399345199065669,0.0,0.0,0.07893660597552038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331256854357228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671113414614562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577113023897277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823271863531947,0.0,0.07700944767876286,0.09800036424459166,0.0549961972018992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026345680626143,0.06313966194917671,0.07555018581240695,0.0,0.0,0.08152041494290821,0.13850896473340815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434832355488648,0.0,0.07763554983660094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165945041122404,0.075436723994137,0.0,0.0,0.05981686678393376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253869432542025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051182491876347706,0.0,0.0,0.06045569913129083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909710617062557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640697528400835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266865118523993,0.0,0.4018510900731589,0.0,0.0,0.13708580078754815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865420868599772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386584287658473,0.0853024591032338,0.05739754772391969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630944258208755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4109444401423797,0.0,0.0878664560419643,0.0465662715585915
mentalhealth,AngryBlindMonk,2019/03/15,"Does anyone else go into depression mode as soon as anyone tries to talk to you about the future? It’s like as soon as anyone mentions how I’m getting on/what are you’re plans for the future my brain just makes up what I think they want me to say, meanwhile I’m internally just telling myself how useless I am and then veering to suicidal thoughts.

I guess it’s just that I can’t really see myself changing away from who I am, and any talk about the future/what are you planning for the future is just too painful to actually think about, let alone talk about",5.314702907711755,5.677623327433629,5.534032869785084,84.13849557522126,67.93805309734513,8.227054361567639,28.532237673830593,7.957251820313856,1.653820227560049,448,14,91,5,7,142,69,113,0.141,0.825,0.034,-0.9201,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,1,2,13,4,0,0,4,0,7,2,1,3,0,15,18,9,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,2,12,1,19,16,0,10,0,2,1,0,10,3,0,1,7,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.1764206354173264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872393260348668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294038541900762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792284171726368,0.1852361783311044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985399192588946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20181648290017173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912471592873656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571034452918867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582066685632071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510231438935457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944529974600799,0.0,0.10274460431368773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19915568473708395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848654915427407,0.0,0.08832269653334708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067577024476098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236859033447573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581586393044332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376793961504614,0.0,0.0,0.14406269104914185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19775006834943146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359257737802368,0.15801455459277422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316801839273393,0.0,0.14352354678860402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227415333737305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663201180616373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thevalleyofvision,2019/03/15,Constantly Reliving Memories I've been struggling with this for the last several years and some days I really wish it would go away. Does anybody have any idea what this is and how to deal? Thanks in advance.,2.7592307692307685,5.7345438974358975,3.185333333333337,86.11800000000002,84.38461538461539,8.248205128205129,25.748717948717946,8.841846274778883,2.638647179487178,168,7,31,5,5,52,36,39,0.066,0.7959999999999999,0.138,0.4754,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,8,7,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,5,1,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18942349140564907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617068107451572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010134971892453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796416487758306,0.2871727272194217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24376090428512445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583063336417816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144489443773482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270553550769536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844620570446262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31468211342016783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912008467117954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256451333745123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203186508640616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978738648310998,0.0,0.0,0.1793770101063894
mentalhealth,pepeisntfunny,2019/03/15,I need someone to talk to Title says it all. Please shoot me a message if we can talk. Thanks so much ,-1.0642424242424229,1.0113113636363664,0.6790909090909096,103.25530303030304,94.45454545454544,2.9333333333333336,16.424242424242426,3.1291,-1.2938666666666665,78,2,19,0,3,25,20,22,0.098,0.691,0.211,0.4215,0,0,0,1,0,1,2.0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763274074372665,0.27872272249712005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4126218189497357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29892823162037124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184961482568161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6042632361697532,0.0,0.3460752803783459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaymental2718,2019/03/15,"Symptoms shared by my girlfriend and my 5 year old sister. Does this correspond to anything? Hello, I just observed my little sister have a sort of ""frustration attack"". She couldn't do a certain drawing she had in mind, and so she rolled on the floor and completely rejected our touch, kicking her legs and saying she will never be able to do anything, and hiding her face from us.
This is of course totally disproportionate for a 5 year old girl. However it completely mirrored some times my girlfriend had almost the exact same reaction to some frustrating event, with feelings of worthlessness, complete rejection of touch, kicking her legs and deep frustration.
The fact that my sister had such a similar reaction, makes me think it is not a coincidence, that my girlfriend perhaps did not deal with her frustration normally, and that my sister wasn't just having a tantrum, and might actually be something related to mental health.
My girlfriend also often has feelings of worthlessness and frustration.

I was thus wondering if these episodes are something common across different people, and if so how I could inform myself about this and help my girlfriend, and my sister.

Thank you !",10.968487804878045,10.40555484878049,9.558170731707317,63.04798780487806,56.609756097560975,12.882926829268293,42.939024390243894,11.979248473330829,5.495136585365853,964,46,140,24,10,298,121,205,0.129,0.826,0.046,-0.958,2,1,2,0,0,0,25.0,2,1,0,0,9,14,7,0,9,0,20,5,3,3,5,44,26,18,0,5,6,5,4,0,5,2,2,1,0,1,9,14,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,11,0,0,6,5,26,3,18,14,4,14,0,4,0,0,28,6,0,9,8,111,35,0,0.14962979919431893,0.0,0.14601709965563048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983262991339782,0.0,0.0,0.1196588963559394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24626515090354995,0.0,0.0,0.17022549784270774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4706519928875458,0.0,0.0,0.11946721916909048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426175274690826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563312930787193,0.0,0.0,0.13094204561237147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131464469014128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159049479538706,0.0,0.0,0.10029370033915208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996836795139515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987905285664042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079164428351147,0.15873357114407846,0.15108344252528955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540372552318025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466054337959363,0.0,0.0,0.3140226076259654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373446261260627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899162201970602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23038465934073224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552265358975512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775901570060198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587673353723423,0.0,0.0,0.08725033920117775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998622499951913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622671344463405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927133697509426
mentalhealth,Ambedo-in-Elysium,2019/03/15,"What should be done to reduce mental health problems in schools and/or college/universities? Hey there reddit,

In 2004, a survey was produced that discovered that 1 in 10 children aged 5-15 had a mental health disorder (either emotional, behavioral, hyperactive, or other). In the newly released 2017 figures, this has risen to 1 in 9. So this got me thinking. From a personal experience, if you could change anything about our education system, what would you change to make it easier on those who struggle with mental health issues? I myself am still in education yet my voice on this particular topic is not as strongly heard as I'd like it to be. How do you suggest we change this for all generations and those to come?

​

​",7.2410606060606035,8.81938825757576,7.204242424242428,69.534696969697,64.15151515151516,9.806060606060607,34.36363636363636,9.994966539143718,3.7337818181818174,598,26,93,13,9,191,99,132,0.076,0.872,0.052000000000000005,-0.486,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,2,3,0,2,6,4,0,1,4,0,12,3,0,3,1,18,17,7,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,2,14,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,2,9,2,19,7,2,13,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,2,4,69,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790853313984395,0.3129850999766225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598225043257957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087245810808801,0.11094019095354347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282741747265144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14760318040504097,0.0,0.0,0.13179570858577436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487012229662646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259802084227346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030042088227775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4106895769002513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442209951843007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291972697362283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596755776433106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3893666095010245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245345663090794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232335366053848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034119240512704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285094236518356,0.0,0.0,0.13463806959021338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252269512855695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148790425592863,0.0,0.3129850999766225,0.0
mentalhealth,TheGrandAdmiral,2019/03/15,"I can't let go I can't let go of the hurt and anger and sense of betrayal from the way some people had been treating me. It has been almost a year and I can't let go. One of those people used to be one of my best friends but he end up hurting me, now he just ghosts me and when I confronted him about it plain blocked me. My other friend keeps insulting me whenever I mention a problem that I have. 

There are days now when I just forget about it, but then I see them having a good time as if what happened never existed. ",1.2016964285714309,2.819435776785717,2.8958571428571425,94.24914285714287,79.625,6.265714285714287,21.91428571428571,7.1686216300943375,0.4774614285714285,405,12,95,5,10,134,72,112,0.207,0.6890000000000001,0.104,-0.8945,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,9,11,3,0,5,0,14,0,0,1,1,17,21,11,1,2,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,6,0,2,3,1,17,5,10,14,2,15,0,2,1,0,8,1,0,3,10,73,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745658185601024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829480614242677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124281095438762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440419870645508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693730880105284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29722642730323623,0.1462193187477608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415900655276032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37324668379552656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549520750194186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5347911936586763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445366221285254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23626037009504816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24171625885934894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680979366753226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891804588101347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165293695441073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15056472081602298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383746476080045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226248634056987
mentalhealth,royalrandy97,2019/03/15,Why am I always angry? I’ve been fighting with literally everyone in my life over things that they’ve done. And maybe it’s my fault too. I just want to be less angry and not let things get to me. Any exercises or advice? ,0.8836956521739125,3.0965399782608722,3.1327826086956527,88.98830434782612,84.0,6.288695652173913,17.895652173913042,7.554174236665415,0.3517182608695655,173,4,38,3,5,59,38,46,0.246,0.728,0.026,-0.897,0,0,0,0,2,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,7,7,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,5,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117635855738425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26546802135589365,0.0,0.0,0.2169591076641925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264901439847754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048577513730816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668597528228402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262414701753023,0.22534839185393904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205199909352292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4239138892476752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18817889704066348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287885260044482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HueningKai,2019/03/15,"Im having intrusive thoughts But i dont want to talk about it because nobody understands it and just say ""you just gotta control your thoughts :)))"" and im here like thanks debra how silly of me that i didnt think of that.

Its just impossible for me to control them
Im afraid my body will turn to auto-pilot and act on the impulses
I dont know what to do",-0.40131578947368496,1.814008868421056,1.9687368421052616,94.48415789473684,91.89473684210527,5.145263157894737,19.442105263157888,6.742157984588678,0.2394042105263164,278,9,63,4,10,94,52,76,0.018000000000000002,0.889,0.093,0.6459999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,1,2,6,4,0,1,1,0,6,1,1,3,0,16,15,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,2,5,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,1,9,3,9,10,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,40,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975942284824497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999972379273848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4038923889576021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220445694575145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5834685859949269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895312793673662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796543029307886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318639678094594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447208164738035,0.0,0.16576979746517198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537151756826995,0.0,0.2858859850521357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958473616087404,0.0,0.18744286391196466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620068419224923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway1122630,2019/03/15,"Vyvanse for Bulimia? my therapist wants to put me on vyvanse for bulimia, but i’m kind of apprehensive because i know a lot of people who take it recreationally. can anyone tell me how they’ve felt taking it for this (side effects, positives, negatives, worth it, etc)? ",7.210748299319725,7.9470821836734675,8.118775510204085,65.94646258503404,63.89795918367346,12.247619047619047,38.78231292517007,11.855464076750405,5.196137414965985,213,11,35,7,3,72,40,49,0.0,0.855,0.145,0.8079,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,7,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,1,7,6,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075672146114072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18095943927538066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33107067281235697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28502638689837345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091277533408966,0.16314319154843462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523746498654074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20580118184506474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984202553164885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4463945186911465,0.0,0.2594634748847418,0.0,0.0,0.34467036673386364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17509217672055655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,typemyselfie,2019/03/15,"NPD vs Narcissistic Tendencies? I'm trying to figure out if I have NPD or not because I've been told true narcissists are oblivious to their flaws, so I can't be one. However, Idk how much truth there is to this because how can I fit almost every trait yet not have the disorder? Feel free to ask questions to get a better understanding of my symptoms",6.3763043478260855,6.429471521739131,7.212862318840577,74.07407608695655,65.66666666666666,10.957971014492754,33.19202898550725,10.686352973137794,3.528185507246378,281,11,53,7,4,94,56,69,0.019,0.755,0.225,0.9327,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,5,4,0,0,2,0,8,1,0,2,2,15,14,5,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,5,5,7,11,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,1,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28334092250974663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645269347680066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449763601648939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25025279025930336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32429364835041496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384037792938732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307174291914854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147833541744278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208006216779644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19173922984291775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169770005593308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941010390377234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27037788294639553,0.0,0.19210947334340667,0.0,0.0,0.29456859034616845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AReflectingGod,2019/03/15,"Synonymous with Legion Sometimes I have moments of clarity and unison and I can see that I am broken. During these times I question my symptoms and try to learn more about possible coping methods.  diagnosed several times. Always different, depends who's talking to the doctor.  Guess while I'm clear headed I'll hang around here and read a while.",4.345506912442397,7.507698758064518,4.802995391705071,76.40306451612905,77.54838709677419,7.413824884792628,29.82488479262673,8.418075326091056,3.035591705069125,281,13,41,6,7,89,51,62,0.052000000000000005,0.8590000000000001,0.08900000000000001,0.29600000000000004,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,3,4,1,1,1,11,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,6,6,1,7,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,3,5,27,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20249982138148048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166471373130448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470111399814803,0.0,0.25426543831023474,0.0,0.24909518417899304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26809483972788434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24976349735657655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27435834622774435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27262536616078525,0.0,0.2434316343838823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19393101491717388,0.0,0.0,0.27493405573380325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406949754577429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25295022450980315,0.0,0.1956081923364832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838170823359489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652293870557926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,babes324,2019/03/15,"My mom doesn’t seem to care about our relationship as much as I do. How do I deal with this? My (21F) mom (56F) has always been a pretty dramatic and neurotic person. But she’s also super independent, hard working, and overall a woman I admire. Her mom is a narcissist and she had a really rough childhood where her step mom would verbally abuse her and so I know that she didn’t have the best example of how to be a “good” mom. We fought a lot as I was growing up because of her expectations of me & it was rough at times. I remember on multiple occasions her getting in the car saying she was leaving us, and her frequently threatening to kill herself or say “maybe you’ll find me dead tomorrow” and stuff of that nature. Still, she is a very generous and compassionate woman. She always tells me how proud she is of me and how much she loves me and even sometimes says I’m her favorite out of me and my two sisters. I moved out of my house 9 months ago and she never calls me. I always have to call her first. Sometimes she doesn’t even reply to my texts. My dad’s an alcoholic and they separated 4 years ago so she’s kind of reliving her single, young days. She has single, middle aged friends and they go out and do stuff together. She’s a young soul and sometimes I don’t even feel like I have a mom. Just an older sister or something. When I’m home she just kind of goes on her iPad or laptop or watches the news. She doesn’t really want to do stuff with me. I feel like I’m begging to have a mom, who nurtures and loves me, who asks me “how have things been? Tell me everything!” and I don’t have her. when I try to talk to her about stuff she barely responds she just says, “I know honey, it’s hard being your age.” It hurts. And my intimate relationships suffer because of it. How do I let these expectations go of my mom? How do I live without a mom who cares about me like other people’s mom’s seem to? 

TL;DR: 
My mom is emotionally detached from me and I feel like I care more about her than she does me. How do I let this stop affecting my life? ",1.424529424977539,3.498100228773588,3.2641239892183296,89.64116352201259,80.91037735849056,6.679604672057503,21.415992812219226,7.793537801064563,0.8751879604672061,1603,48,348,28,42,536,193,424,0.084,0.77,0.146,0.9811,0,0,2,0,1,0,46.0,3,2,2,5,25,23,2,0,16,0,37,4,0,10,1,61,58,40,2,4,9,14,7,4,2,2,2,4,1,3,18,25,1,1,9,0,0,6,8,4,0,2,8,13,82,19,41,44,7,36,1,2,1,2,79,10,0,7,24,248,100,2,0.0,0.06672241053567697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998372217580596,0.06018211504991256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04503396760178551,0.14057228549356848,0.06101576481922012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526456165927747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865649884288651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590976515874189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500496885313205,0.0,0.17224641266824714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03631761492704626,0.05805685149171184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928041306914797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334522324831897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158381010462252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061103483650637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542154842856288,0.12069134670922327,0.0,0.0,0.05146961251016426,0.047900321548549785,0.0,0.0,0.043507749626697234,0.0,0.029421533066365482,0.0,0.0640086361363686,0.04723317802567695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089185350533424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564871348732149,0.0,0.0,0.06497833651651477,0.0602848762194689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230265765075059,0.11728390253937322,0.06189696645072317,0.0,0.0,0.05962797404237355,0.0,0.11516894791091055,0.039775962861631486,0.11004792675488001,0.0,0.049725942751530035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047875811081869266,0.10165044983554856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05657458280915303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7254919174874087,0.04494898028042026,0.059852447450839175,0.08279395477892293,0.0,0.04343252189855488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0390407614540301,0.049170865616753184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057291178883765885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215187155239575,0.0,0.0,0.12091946869056765,0.06379233399154137,0.0,0.0,0.1791313479936961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253157751393836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04335296246522646,0.1670867785269447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04497211572778699,0.04708069327555727,0.0,0.0,0.2578624079653567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452627405963722,0.09844114147638798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037412255256239486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03283691450021972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03823323959938793,0.0,0.05501020699032187,0.0,0.06773833013874106,0.0,0.0,0.04646461972902579,0.033215221810340916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054284303288256015,0.0,0.04099697333733133,0.0,0.0,0.04000356752475514,0.0,0.0,0.03626411371862903
mentalhealth,luvthatforme,2019/03/15,"do you want to make a difference in the mental health community? please click this link <3 take a minute out of your day & help us out to make a difference in the community, thank you! 

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[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScXSlEJyWaS3jDbqZRFrPnlJGRlS91LVBD0YQHBw9eyGGmjLg/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScXSlEJyWaS3jDbqZRFrPnlJGRlS91LVBD0YQHBw9eyGGmjLg/viewform?usp=sf_link)",31.445384615384608,39.81716892307692,18.22358974358975,-12.436923076923053,13.615384615384615,10.328205128205127,28.384615384615394,10.504223727775694,3.0916769230769234,384,6,32,5,3,95,29,39,0.0,0.769,0.231,0.8240000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,7,6,0,5,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4704114283652963,0.2637755399026345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999841814054478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536040703153978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23074552087269684,0.0,0.0,0.1455039160903129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898047091071244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21876523333722545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23828827206089526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321688375112905,0.0,0.0,0.19985777963523446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611200951922483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803920414311315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637755399026345,0.0
mentalhealth,yellowjacketracket,2019/03/15,"Has therapy changed your life? I'm trying to compile some experiences of people who have experienced change in therapy (for better or worse) for a class project. So reddit users, has therapy led to any memorable changes in your life?",7.00040650406504,8.995541073170735,7.008292682926832,69.15845528455284,65.09756097560975,11.320325203252034,38.05691056910569,11.20814326018867,5.01250569105691,188,10,30,6,3,60,33,41,0.0,0.921,0.079,0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,4,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,7,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,17,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847059234001387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708245495776336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5995499953881104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479787337257614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668764791303868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097182581934758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6481319567647417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282627953662391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19252339299379453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Koperek324,2019/03/15,"Advice, please Hey,
I have suffered anxiety and lack of selfconfidence my whole life (male, 25). Few years ago I discovered not harmful (at least that's what I thought at that time) popular weed, as a way to calm myself down and feel a bit better about myself, chill a bit. 

As time passed I started meeting more and more people interested in smoking and as I was living alone at my house, I obviously invited them over and over, which resulted in me smoking everyday, from morning to the night. I kept studying at university but my grades obviously went down the road along with my feelings, because weed turned out not to be as unharmful as everyone said at that time.

One day one of my colleagues brought extasy to my house and as I was unexperianced and did not have any knowledge about drugs of any kind, I agreed to try it. 

To keep the story short, not only we were smoking a lot of weed, we also started doing extasy pills every once and then, then it became few times a week. This episode lasted few months, until I got to the point where it messed with my head badly, as I said I always somehow had this mental issues which I wasnt aware of as a teenager. I even had 2 weeks of feeling like I finally felt so damn happy and motivated to everything (probably because of overdose, at least that's what I think) and kept repeating that I'm scared it will end soon and so it did. I felt like complete wreck after that. I decided to stop partying as much, I stopped taking ANY drugs, kept smoking weed for a while, had some blood pressure issues after that episode for few months, but then I decided to stop smoking weed as well.

Here we are today, I'm clean of extasy or drugs of any kind for more than 2 years, clean of weed for a year or more, not drinking alcohol, finishing college in few months, have working out a lot for past 2 years, ate healthy and gave myself tons of vitamins through this time, yet I'm feeling completely useless, my anxiety has never been worst as it is since I stopped with everything, I'm avoiding and losing my friends, because I no longer feel like talking to anyone, I have felt no positive feelings for ages now, I don't feel like looking for life-partner, it's hard for me to talk to my family members as they have no idea what I'm going through.

I feel like I wasted my potential, since I have always been overthinking about everything, I feel like I burned my brain-cells and dopamine/serotonin neurons, I feel like Im never going back to where I've been, I stopped reading books because I no longer feel like it will give me profit of any kind, since my brain is not functioning as it used to, lost my interest on anything at all. I'm even thinking (as I've read its possible) I lowered my IQ and overall brain power by doing such stupid stuff and feel like I do not have any future anymore.

That's where my question is - can anyone tell me what proffessional help should I seek first? What brain exams/tests should I do, which doctors to find. I'd like to check my brain for any damage that I could've done, just to be sure. I also need someone to help me deal with it - and if needed, with help of meds help me regain my ability to feel anything positive at all and be at least a bit motivated with living. 

I'm sorry for the long story, I'm not even sure if this belongs to this sub, hope someone will find the time to read it. Thank you, cheers.


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mentalhealth,nathan023917,2019/03/15,"I don’t know whats happening to my body. I’m 16, male, 5’8”,190pounds. I recently had surgery on my arm and ever since then I haven’t felt right or felt like myself. A few days after my surgery I had to go to the hospital in an ambulance cause I was having a severe panic attack. After that I noticed my teeth are clenching during the day, I don’t feel like eating, and I have had a weird feeling in my stomach. I have ADHD which I’m taking medication for (54mg methylphenidate) and I had some anxiety a while back but that went away. I just don’t understand what’s happening to my body, can someone please help me understand what’s happening?",3.511461538461538,4.945129530769236,4.82,83.66000000000003,72.92307692307692,8.276923076923078,27.615384615384606,8.841846274778883,2.1169846153846152,509,19,102,10,10,169,80,130,0.076,0.826,0.098,0.5499,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,7,0,14,7,5,1,1,16,29,7,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,7,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,8,4,19,2,11,21,2,16,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,11,69,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819254308570452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580279579668208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221290120335594,0.1422234352007516,0.11639937318529613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362908771054665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550561603789567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19525095522947372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548962016591082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692893258071556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530812615435715,0.10814357706879668,0.290690829009548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603089281652225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015858677438642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146464147095627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319270035757623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791006281026334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249614522019192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234342781044593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17760799463483912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16616620872516907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494662737294445,0.0,0.0,0.12927491335377525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17101263447984985,0.0,0.12522040797309367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826102503283146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381647337612523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151770608315403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403277594458268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SN2014dt,2019/03/15,"Why does my therapist make long silences? We'll be talking and then she'll ask me how I feel about whatever she's saying, then I'll tell her. However, after telling her, she then waits as if I've something more to say, but I don't. So there ends up being several times during my session where I'm saying things like ""so, um yeah, umm..."",just repeating what I've just or staring off into space waiting for her to break the silence. 

Is this normal or a common therapeutic method? ",3.2483421052631565,5.103253242105262,4.319144736842105,85.24713815789475,74.47368421052632,7.276315789473685,26.61184210526316,8.07648339933343,1.6968157894736842,378,14,74,6,8,123,76,95,0.0,0.927,0.073,0.7514,1,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,2,0,13,12,12,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,12,1,9,8,1,15,0,0,1,0,14,5,0,3,10,45,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21272517762304755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912739752981468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20153858064676572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505430232277372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116768252075546,0.0,0.0,0.20137141312091286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15188899615912616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229471699406241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5428621168202549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570626757326316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751763439725068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828931857242348,0.3977711851674695,0.0,0.0,0.2641989211173894,0.15117172444238405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268414203758702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053252431983493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChristineDamaris,2019/03/15,"Is this mania? A few months ago all of the sudden i've came up to the idea of getting into a project which would move me into another state for a year. I never actually applied (just in september is that project open) but searching about it i already felt like going, i was so excited, i would get goosebumps, beliving that no matter whats happening because i will go so i will have like a one year new life. It's strange but i've belived all of it. That lasted for like 2 weeks, but those feelings weren't constant and i wasn't thinking about it all day, but sometimes. Then i had another period when i realised it's stupid and i would not be able to stay somewhere else for a year. 
Also, when i was 13 years old and thinking about 
getting into a highschool, i belived that i'll go to a math profile (where i live that's how it's called, it means that the highschool s profile is doing math as a main class) even though i am not good at math at all, i imagined how i would be the best and people would applaud me  for being the best from there, and i would get very excited. Until then i was always about to go to a language based highschool and i was a realist about this because i am unable to solve math problems, i am just not good at it. Again, this lasted i'd say for 2-3 weeks, again without thinking about it all day but sometimes, then coming to the realization that i am not good at it and what was in my head.
Should i be concerned? I am not getting depressive episodes right after. I am not even depressed i'd say (i am not motivated but it's a feeling like a routine that i learn, do tests, go to shopping etc) i am more then severely anxious sometimes, because of my past and memories that comes into my mind. My moods are changing trough the day i'd say quite fast, so i am not thinking that i would be bipolar. I first had my panick attack at 11 years old and i have anxiety which comes and goes when i am about to speak with someone important, or speak/sing in public(that time i am unable to function and i speak very nervously and i avoid those ocasions of me ever speaking in public.) with my other triggers i can manage somehow. I get anxiety almost evey single day. Should i be concerned about my episodes? Thank you in advance.",3.387366268093139,4.803032821585906,4.4397822529893,86.33507929515423,73.2070484581498,7.0387916928886085,29.050723725613594,7.554174236665415,1.7102105223410955,1767,73,356,21,35,576,197,454,0.103,0.778,0.119,0.8615,0,1,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,1,0,6,28,20,2,2,19,0,46,4,2,4,7,78,71,35,0,10,18,0,3,4,0,11,2,6,0,0,31,23,0,1,12,1,1,11,13,7,0,2,11,9,50,12,50,43,12,69,0,2,0,0,9,18,0,3,42,263,81,14,0.07686199692103997,0.0,0.07500622151858351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813352268298267,0.0,0.07696618722396945,0.0,0.08481912489699843,0.06146651116828102,0.06395533872450121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119301098535793,0.11759843452811705,0.08683217862316776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744161765583296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056307974740956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132384752052106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848469254281941,0.0879096482080529,0.0,0.0,0.08130980120537057,0.1986294135634604,0.0,0.0830605129469866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827851751886166,0.0,0.1324022506422087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420833571150206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572144411826599,0.10153324812717883,0.06952607664744999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772747017576342,0.05491022595814411,0.0737995706149066,0.0,0.0,0.06537877531606727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409433261758623,0.0,0.2184122206782057,0.1934045889738729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796881003663266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888258352763558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676783884943404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125305572249441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054289901504629326,0.1502035569847684,0.0,0.06787055145834052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372524751352818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760870599791476,0.0,0.06135051263614965,0.08169213874773265,0.0,0.0,0.0592807104173137,0.07423379558375888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613074723781377,0.0,0.05208367831781192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337347317736713,0.05328643083709091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354655061401195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175219485573673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563972540375193,0.0,0.18337123489881904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683217862316776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512492056458956,0.0,0.2280554409332424,0.0,0.0,0.08192466190372316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076420002993082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19700025630237056,0.07551652172524795,0.0,0.04481884851246418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683839419873186,0.0,0.0,0.12330811537174875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409222220512612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38220390133996746,0.0,0.0,0.24748302998796265
mentalhealth,StillLearning247,2019/03/15,"I'm going crazy because I can't let go I feel like a bad person because of a mistake that i made. I don't know how to let it go. I walk around everyday and I don't want to let ppl in because of how ashamed I feel. 

I can't go on like this. ",-1.817011494252874,-0.4109901724137917,1.6075862068965527,100.75436781609196,88.65517241379311,4.55632183908046,20.011494252873558,5.46131890053228,-0.4587333333333334,182,6,51,1,6,66,33,58,0.235,0.6709999999999999,0.093,-0.7665,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,7,0,0,3,0,10,17,3,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,5,4,3,0,0,1,2,8,2,7,13,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,30,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093099161121465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697009458572616,0.3716884908990402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055333885892756,0.14519814917248222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46203488906858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169804480294296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6234948354327821,0.0,0.1985903180396324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923151750629728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746554849443402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987906828567367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,staringatsilence,2019/03/15,"How can we get big Pharmas money influence out of mental health? I think Big pharma is a cancer to mental health work. It has its place, I Admit. But I worry of pharma becoming the money flow in the industry, having it in its clutches. a pill may subside your effects, but is it actually resolving the core issue? or just making it bearable. Im not against medication in mental health. but i believe it is very important to keep it in check. to be wary, which is a challenge when boy does writing scripts pay.

Now these are just suggestions. And i am limited by my own experiences. but i believe naming things like ADD ADHD and BPD \*(which are all on spectrums)\* \**in this way\** is something big pharma likes; not so much mental health professionals. ideas like calling ADD (hyper perception), ADHD (Discipline defecit) or better yet (Free-spiritedness), BPD (fundamentally damaged self image) Trauma related (TR) or not (NTR)

I think this is not only a better understanding of these things I believe its more positive and lends itself to understanding and ultimately healing or ***acceptance***.",4.061569293478261,7.267337036458336,5.181277173913042,72.78383152173912,79.67708333333334,7.922463768115943,29.181159420289852,8.716276077567194,3.2259648550724638,869,40,130,22,23,285,122,192,0.077,0.769,0.154,0.9541,0,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,1,1,0,7,7,10,0,0,7,0,14,8,0,4,1,42,22,15,0,0,14,0,0,3,0,1,8,0,0,2,18,8,0,3,10,0,4,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,11,8,16,20,4,16,0,1,0,0,9,11,0,5,6,93,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.10364537147936814,0.0,0.25528690155565725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730029771214633,0.0,0.35898597135134264,0.0,0.18786774292128555,0.0,0.0,0.26753486328694304,0.0,0.10845200503839664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294484681431137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389349191671754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05549019810484343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4515838878944254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989785257724812,0.11472472958397548,0.11085535962032872,0.0,0.09440408436568412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566612154984702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089581672796064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699512495049493,0.4281376913966564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807636913757568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077728249227048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096655791141816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079990752806836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176543588673149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112204493456426,0.13610980751064186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211361405660976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763414699750605,0.0,0.08430433671327599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732194536076659,0.10786113212983556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AmirWG,2019/03/15,"need help regarding a 70 years old family member  

my aunt is 70 years old who have never achieved anything in her life , she is uneducated , my family always feds her and give her cloth , we do everything for her for free , she always talks about non sense and childish things and if someone tries to give her advice she just keeps mentioning those non sense and childish things again which are not related to our questions , she always tries to escape our questions , she has good amount of money to live with but she always refuses to pay money to anyone as she is pretty mean , her brain seems dead is there any chance we could convince her to start a new life ? what kind of disease does she has ?

this topic is completely serious and it's not meant to be cringy at all and english is not my native language btw so sorry if my english was not clear enough.

thanks in advance.",14.861204819277113,7.890040542168678,12.71221686746988,63.055072289156634,56.228915662650614,15.689638554216867,45.85060240963857,11.20814326018867,4.9413412048192775,694,21,129,10,5,216,105,166,0.113,0.797,0.08900000000000001,-0.6593,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,4,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,2,0,14,4,1,0,3,29,24,11,1,4,8,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,9,1,2,5,0,4,1,5,1,0,0,3,0,23,6,18,19,3,12,0,0,0,0,29,3,0,5,8,85,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045519877111128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4443326301833806,0.0,0.0,0.0907849563746802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334669317360042,0.0,0.10985958304579073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14903077238076365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997279357523826,0.0,0.0,0.10658933135607686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682723667038085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794176185150486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998169205036754,0.0,0.2517048869166601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25613179706666744,0.0,0.11197393293268916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948260897616024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866142863062068,0.0,0.13902028601472247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885907823259422,0.0,0.0,0.11788343726623005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542124309861773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898897109318032,0.10296385925000726,0.12893566939858409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280172753750707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581806031510532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29910235271942665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153389274153133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311458832858168,0.0,0.0,0.14944294319223644,0.09449238104086824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730269043367527,0.0,0.12290937609433812,0.0,0.0,0.1773836754598842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18127622936462115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719399628450041
mentalhealth,ck500000,2019/03/15,Has anyone had a particularly poor experience with college campus mental health services? They've failed so many of my peers and it's frustrating to watch as someone who struggles with her own mental health,10.073333333333334,10.648079666666673,8.802222222222222,64.01500000000001,57.88888888888889,10.533333333333337,37.444444444444436,10.125756701596842,3.998211111111111,172,7,25,3,2,53,33,36,0.294,0.706,0.0,-0.902,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,5,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,15,4,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949346655497595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727076189493043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5926760403927772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826467145286242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5619043515104284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362156997208637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29144917156091826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mojojojoez_scraps,2019/03/15,"Tried to commit suicide this year and now I am so grateful I didnt succeed. I was at a breaking point in my life. After years of homelessness and drug addiction I had landed into the community of trainhopping vagrants. I was drinking heavily and sneaking my heroin use from my significant other. 

Having full on drunken brawls with him and tail tucked the next day acting like it never happened. Over minor issues mind you. I had drank too much vodka that day and all my personal demons came out on to him. I hit him, spit, and said every hostile thing I could fathom so he could hurt how I hurt. Well rightfully so he left me in San Antonio alone, homeless, with no phone. 

Not only have I become this monster but I had destroyed the heart of the only human being who still had faith in me. I was destitute. I had tried sobriety before and failed due to my lacking of mental health care. I thought I was destined for hell if I wasnt in it already. I had made enough money to buy a couple grams of heroin and decided to cook it up into one shot. I was ready to stop hurting. I wrote my mother and my ex a note and left it in the hotel room I was staying at that night. Told them that I was sorry for hurting them and myself, thinking that it will be easier in the end for them to live their lives... without me in it. 

Its scary writing this today to see how much I had lost hope. That I was okay with never waking up. What you dont realize is the impact that you have on everyone when you DO wakeup. Sent to a hospital and straight to a psych ward (thanks to ex who called the police on me) I remained there for 5 days and very much alive. An AA group came to speak at the psych ward I was staying at and told me of a way out of this mess I had created. 

Since that day I now have 49 days sober and clean. And while I might not be perfect or ever healed, I'm so glad that the heroin wasn't stronger. I have a boring life but holy shit am I grateful I didnt succeed that day. That I can still enjoy the little things like watching the rain, listening to my favorite song or petting a dog. Yes I feel lonely and yes I still hurt, but now I know that they are JUST feelings and that its completely okay to feel that way.  I still have my issues but there are medicines out in the world that can help us and people who are willing to listen and help. Its a beautiful world and I (and many others) would love if you would stay for the film. If anyone is ever feeling hopeless I hope this helps. My inbox is always open. ",2.6865076264880945,4.269434962890628,3.8451450892857153,89.20736979166668,75.34765625,6.4386904761904775,23.323288690476193,7.07126945348624,0.7508648065476184,1959,57,409,20,42,637,255,512,0.152,0.674,0.174,0.9204,1,3,3,0,0,3,46.0,1,5,5,5,21,31,4,0,24,4,49,14,4,4,7,78,78,39,1,10,13,3,4,2,0,5,6,5,3,2,36,33,3,1,9,6,2,4,11,15,2,1,32,11,68,16,57,35,7,74,3,9,2,1,40,36,2,8,30,300,104,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255167231295706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842849518696582,0.08356466840953611,0.0,0.0630094531159403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294883776257975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363256117842734,0.06443658873636605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732392093799106,0.1732189671003049,0.0772069133350285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939645729503343,0.0,0.0,0.12092086010371705,0.08378852073964622,0.0,0.29301903178060995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887493992978562,0.07418189124625198,0.08781721940662393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707007258739224,0.07824439967441035,0.0,0.0,0.13699560206299066,0.06380176775547812,0.07235869727006089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315579545149569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696356605658584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049237271375627,0.0,0.08973475579287135,0.15227106555685793,0.0,0.0,0.15042446885396873,0.0,0.0,0.4053270957799873,0.0,0.0,0.15807492097172554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041616603072597236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455135626558898,0.0,0.10697393123850232,0.0739910394537047,0.07589656881259887,0.13373352140277245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266302799403634,0.0,0.06834497174146335,0.07165303850709763,0.0,0.07677349223389981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631321566717092,0.08033249657761601,0.07646089004436812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700025948386732,0.0,0.11680792309801008,0.0,0.08053463548116115,0.07106299355069137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05131337199555238,0.1151848912854444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249833606555825,0.06612034529147842,0.0,0.0,0.07158481383388264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466892808100222,0.07203202952795834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034319985463413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773085488507797,0.06264068833931473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847681892612131,0.0,0.24213904169118286,0.2418970488407645,0.06330967854430845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283110504722438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971761283729676,0.0,0.0,0.10061694886382706,0.048521666294283436,0.0,0.06011736976894583,0.0,0.0,0.07177865863399432,0.14471739454012178,0.0,0.10282491358305616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108812143253593,0.06540228075940872,0.0,0.06248124090932551,0.0,0.1202143171892344,0.0,0.0,0.06808607117896627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299641428528977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758605383292574,0.0,0.0,0.0975291238293039
mentalhealth,whoisgalgadot,2019/03/15,"My Brother’s Keeper/Advice Needed First time posting here and I could really use some advice. My brother is 28 years old and has been in special education courses for the majority of his schooling, he cannot keep a job and has the mental capacity of a small child. However, he has often run into trouble with the police and this time he had a fight with the neighbor who is accusing him of some pretty heinous stuff. He needs an official psych evaluation + IQ test but does not have insurance. I’m 22 F and I don’t know of any place nearby that offers affordable options or unique ways to acquire these tests (research studies, etc) and was wondering if anyone had any ideas. Located in the Austin, Texas, area. ",6.8243888888888895,7.184804355555558,7.336435185185183,72.52020833333337,64.7037037037037,10.305555555555557,34.65277777777778,10.125756701596842,3.5742777777777786,568,24,99,12,8,187,103,135,0.039,0.929,0.031,-0.0129,3,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,9,0,13,0,0,1,0,25,20,9,0,4,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,5,9,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,4,0,6,1,11,15,4,14,0,0,0,0,13,6,0,7,5,60,11,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739671942167837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602471632587053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379536141290482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277625405566486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745041331153648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21340422380803356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627609863944437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21600923189788385,0.0,0.0,0.18988391907657126,0.1700793910275927,0.0,0.0,0.10516016373848856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19283434164415209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837650636144717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007881242049508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19991851751768566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18325902573667133,0.1946702753836644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258278654946395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936549571528446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21904832012426534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22315376688186694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526371798131462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15188357946079634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075093496733274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232221982806927
mentalhealth,TegeTheKing,2019/03/15,"How can I restrain my self from falling deeper into anxiety? In the last couple of months I've been feeling more and more anxious about things I do or might do or anything. This is nothing new, people worry about stuff, I worry about them too, I worry about school, about family issues and so on, but I feel like this is something else.  

Two weeks ago I had a day where I just couldn't go on.  I felt like life is about to crush me literally an poetically too.  Got the almost full package, rushing hearth, sweating, numbness in my fingers, I couldn't move or think straight. I got better after like an hour or so, but the feeling stood with me, lingering since that. 

Now anything unexpected happens around me I get this overwhelming feeling, that things WILL go bad for me. My caring and loving girlfriend is not answering to my text after 3 hours? yeah bro, she's cheating with a dude and about to kick you out, better get nauseous, get sick in the stomach make a complete fool out of yourself. There is a quick test before class? No worries, I've studied for it and can easily do it..ohh wait, it's time for a rushing hearth and a complete mental block. 

While I realize these are very VERY mild examples of maybe anxiety disorder, I feel like it's slowly taking over and threatening to ruin aspect of my life. On average days I have no problem with anything, I do just fine, nothing is worrisome, but sometimes it cripples me and I fall into this 'omg my life will be ruined, I've done goofed, there is nothing to do now, I'm utterly a thoroughly fcked'. 

I'm looking for some help on stopping this whole rush of bad toughs before it takes a root and starts to consume me from inside. 

Any advice is appreciated,  thank you guys in advance! ",5.100340038935755,6.196236534328362,5.624166125892277,80.6823491239455,68.73134328358209,8.09474367293965,30.68462037637897,8.321376580360154,2.2691103179753416,1369,54,254,19,23,441,186,335,0.18600000000000005,0.649,0.165,-0.9014,0,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,2,1,3,21,20,1,1,14,1,26,9,3,3,0,49,53,20,0,3,10,1,7,4,1,3,5,0,0,2,16,17,0,4,9,0,0,9,5,10,0,1,7,8,32,10,43,40,5,44,0,3,1,1,10,17,0,7,22,170,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969890013004049,0.08136881351883031,0.0,0.09191726904569306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242227839037887,0.0,0.1404425415334453,0.1036997805426402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266130563008531,0.08171508813119271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328637314353138,0.0,0.0,0.15621789065382516,0.0,0.0,0.16236661367479327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358891727212056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19248609101208786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156703068581772,0.0,0.11839757494890253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520254632194576,0.0,0.0,0.09393594433047232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668113858097303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653411947726974,0.0,0.2320660879171669,0.1311536453811159,0.08813552070505105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387390967168606,0.0,0.10433597180811748,0.0,0.14683023794334907,0.0,0.0,0.09088934249227268,0.08117210458500038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061526805229210176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18079491277415966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095807875632996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482341540357249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945079909653277,0.17938137845925894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770828663400847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284662124130326,0.0,0.061272432972438264,0.0,0.0922182448077182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250559204267557,0.09737769652623088,0.0,0.0,0.07326816852260498,0.09756126121127304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865409613054544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26423311473763056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363759692921676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783335025416852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928992538916168,0.0,0.0,0.09575995059647033,0.0,0.0,0.07593198517621648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066661223547298,0.09078546514023313,0.0,0.06497144406568116,0.0,0.0,0.07674292381171573,0.0,0.0,0.10508083967969507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380335826898466,0.0,0.0,0.0845105136106927,0.0,0.0,0.1219661672333377,0.05881714494938702,0.0,0.0,0.05352514273638545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896682659113841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147741138536847,0.0,0.0,0.07363067877560536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024834268946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3728803358943554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sunflower-sundress,2019/03/15,"Just thinking out loud She thinks I have this child like innocents and happiness that’s good for him cause when I’m around I bring those qualities out in him and he seems to find his peace. 

I know it’s good for him. For some reason the moment I met him I knew he needed help finding his light or little bit of happiness but that’s not what he needs

He’s suicidal at times and that is so much more than being sad. 
I think he needs a different understanding of the world around him. 

I grew up in this angry darkness not knowing what it was feeling out of control and confused
At one point I had to have spent more than 75% of my mornings telling myself “welp. there’s always tomorrow.” Which sounds hopeful but what that means to me is “I can always just kill myself tomorrow” 
My life was full of questions like “ what’s the point? Why do I get up everyday? These people don’t even care.why do they do it?” 

I think my way through it was a little unconventional but my thinking went to “The point is that there is no point. Even the Christians except that they are sheep being led out to pasture at gods will. Sheep are bred, live according to and are slaughtered by the Shepard. That’s the metaphor they chose for a reason.”
Then to 
“Their are millions of people weaker than me that have made it so much farther. Some are blissfully ignorant and others do it for the sheer fact that they feel they have to. “ 

Now that’s how I do it. I make myself because it is now mandatory. And I choose to be blissfully ignorant sometimes cause I deserve the bliss.

I think that’s what he needs. ",2.10708041958042,4.5514848012820535,2.7716317016317014,92.03094405594408,80.7948717948718,5.961305361305362,22.59557109557109,7.229369725052465,0.7814410256410254,1246,41,256,17,33,388,153,312,0.122,0.7809999999999999,0.096,-0.9497,1,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,6,1,14,12,1,1,12,0,29,1,0,9,1,60,56,16,3,5,9,0,2,2,0,1,1,2,0,1,30,13,0,3,20,0,1,4,4,5,0,2,9,5,39,7,39,43,8,36,1,1,0,0,25,22,0,7,11,185,69,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697754303362045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864315359395178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061164760090282724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954247575642097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023006870903258,0.20614833963637808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253694868202332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483124843707252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325438395497411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146722896798488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341316869816984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052422160809879895,0.0,0.0,0.16831653526949247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136220992602307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725405777608942,0.0,0.0,0.09965769808839513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100848928855643,0.0,0.1102856442458111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087128725742636,0.09803959059722198,0.20112890936683608,0.08859978035351257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949416931043142,0.0669760071542533,0.0,0.0,0.1092968655823479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751909772058594,0.29759570299833565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799123271885628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912266709330576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794051762520989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240087398499868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063271583954784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913434189918357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923627425517102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097528523386458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876993278552639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857530047186051,0.0,0.0,0.058507556643901365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445479307651216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964317387736754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301379381565428,0.18107783058878515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ijuztneedtotalkkk,2019/03/15,"Recent breakup has me facing 10 years of pent up emotions Girlfriend of nearly a year suddenly hit me with the “I need a break” on Sunday citing being overwhelmed by school and it’s completely taken the wind out of my sales. We had planned for the next couple years together and she was truly my best friend, she could make a root canal fun. We’ve talked a little since Sunday and I feel as though the relationship is salvageable but I’m not entirely sure if she does. 

In addition to that, it has made me realize I’ve been avoiding and compartmentalizing any negative feelings I’ve had for like a decade (I’m 22) and all these skeletons have come flying out of the closet and I’m completely overwhelmed. Mostly family related, some related to my friends. Sadness, anger, anxiety, etc

I don’t know what to do. I work full time and it’s effecting my job and the quality of my work. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t focus, started smoking again and drinking more than usual and just feel like this facade and personality I’ve made for myself is crumbling. ",4.426607142857144,6.226576349753696,5.343346674876848,79.35127616995074,71.21674876847291,8.62179802955665,28.451046798029555,9.188382445141503,2.5098475369458133,841,32,155,18,16,275,130,203,0.105,0.7909999999999999,0.105,-0.6147,1,1,1,0,1,0,19.0,1,0,0,5,3,12,1,3,11,0,16,4,2,5,2,38,31,15,0,3,4,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,7,17,2,1,6,1,1,1,6,5,0,0,7,3,18,7,21,21,7,22,0,3,0,0,10,8,0,3,14,98,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918254620521356,0.0,0.11157433871370437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305987429236584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563628394296475,0.30584049650148426,0.0,0.0,0.1164488226284523,0.16137951022747535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763373208294154,0.0,0.0,0.14287681858313867,0.0,0.1492402765449879,0.0,0.1640608661592505,0.0,0.0,0.16266055716570826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749376864630147,0.0,0.22123741152378526,0.20838958186761194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22536566207729586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473295571500597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015497781677801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250923160898715,0.14617934527071352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760123262353866,0.0973555607244765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814543060125466,0.0,0.0,0.15511241773419235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735000982254358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400861858848232,0.1565875984928142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476073091070527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064807345055915,0.0,0.1459546612578229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032329068920542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746126804920492,0.0,0.0,0.11722816727430757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329622681225565,0.0,0.08504591757116059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606324322347779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21236009949049373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817665611747792
mentalhealth,NDM2001-3,2019/03/15,"Any advice on how to talk to parents about counseling/therapy? I’m a 17 year old male, and I think I have been struggling with depression for a while now. It’s gotten very bad the past couple weeks, i constantly feel angry, sad, or nothing at all, and I’m having trouble sleeping at night. I want to explore the possibility of counseling or therapy, but I have a few questions. 

First and foremost, what is the difference between counseling and therapy? 

Secondly, does anyone have advice on how to bring this up to my parents, while making it clear that it is in no way their fault. They have always been very loving and have allowed me to be exactly who I want to be. This may come as a shock to them though, as I am very closed off in my emotions and my personal life.

Does anyone have any advice? 
Thank you",5.5,6.133670114649682,6.241280254777074,78.27911783439494,67.59872611464968,9.592101910828026,31.62356687898089,9.642632912329526,2.9181928662420384,636,25,120,13,10,209,98,157,0.138,0.7709999999999999,0.091,-0.7138,3,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,3,1,5,9,0,1,7,0,15,3,1,4,3,26,27,16,0,2,3,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,8,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,7,0,2,3,1,15,2,23,21,2,23,0,2,0,1,12,9,0,4,10,88,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670252121460077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417451060637124,0.0,0.0,0.17027744996985478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508227697019835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453484479842026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784672743344087,0.0,0.1352942296848726,0.0,0.0,0.13852886687372692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783259020212284,0.0,0.0,0.13080494303342444,0.0,0.0,0.2191226910453779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408305543580326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330371574695012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649309437534106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843083365527069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299580668431528,0.0,0.08357043277679943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748955449185085,0.0,0.12013056378615655,0.0,0.1313739191072848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27803444559782314,0.0,0.1195153651310998,0.0,0.10931779711196206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411415884422232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025006987625885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528811006109078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088381287662282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062916385917203,0.0,0.11526521559560232,0.4295234217873945,0.0,0.0,0.08022162691543626,0.12300609847930193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099036274048115,0.14768968710831598,0.09937610185271872,0.10042603814499676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062321002922335
mentalhealth,Sdcghfxz,2019/03/15,"Is there any kind of daily 1 hour online support group? Skype or discord etc? I recently did a few weeks of a daily morning 1 hour support group. It was so helpful to help eachother and support eachother with problems. Unfortunately due to work, I will not be able to continue it. I was wondering if they have something like this but over the internet such as skype, facetime or discord. That is a regularly occuring specific time with some structure, not just a 24/7 mental health chat room

Thanks",5.7215384615384615,7.7041365384615395,5.9481318681318704,75.57186813186816,68.23076923076923,8.716483516483517,36.07692307692308,9.23628265651192,3.6211274725274727,399,21,66,8,7,127,68,91,0.093,0.742,0.165,0.705,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,4,7,0,0,5,0,8,1,0,0,0,13,13,7,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,4,6,9,8,3,9,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,5,8,44,8,1,0.18423611706649795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528687733087113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054719711472783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19583437717245267,0.0,0.0,0.24697917147800116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628709275416789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19185356490722344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000846067295934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856666732058377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628908240154126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819109391923938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418339638800903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6272068870508938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16961986369186588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742956144908168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778310015947582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19979620997203212,0.13412608746597454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ariebby,2019/03/15,"Advice on Toxic Friendships/Relationships Any advice on how to leave a toxic friendship? I've been friends with my this person for two years now. Somehow, our friendship had went from being inseparable to now being insufferable. I have learned to love them so much that i don't know how to detach myself from us. I keep thinking about all the times we use to be there for each other that its now clouding my judgement to know when to distance myself. I keep feeling like i pour so much into them just to not get the same energy. I start to find myself wishing that i wasn't their friend but still their friend at the same time that i don't know how to differentiate what i want. I am scared honestly. Im scared of losing this person because while they don't reciprocate this energy back, they have so much to offer and they've taught me so much within these years. 

When things don't go right, i somehow become the blame. I know i'm not the most skillful person but im tired of having to prove my worth to someone who knows me and knows what i bring to the table. Someone who is suppose to support me fully and have my back like how i've always had theirs. However, that's often overlooked for their demise against me. 

Now before anyone asks, have i tried to work this out and talk it out with them? yes. I've tried countless times. I'll voice my feelings just to be told theyre meaningless and that i'm overreacting. My feelings have been belittled so many times that i don't express them anymore. Their opinion always becomes the overpowering decree and nothing matters, but what theyre saying. I'm not placing all of this on them either. I understand that apart of the reason this is still occuring is because I allow it. I just don't know when to leave and i dont know if i should. I don't want to lose someone that i want apart of my life, but i know its hurting me. What do i do? ",4.074179331306993,5.452740308510637,4.6482066869300915,85.65500000000003,71.44680851063829,6.967173252279638,25.92857142857143,7.310402129719878,1.171799696048632,1500,47,298,15,28,478,170,376,0.104,0.78,0.116,-0.3442,3,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,3,0,12,4,28,13,0,2,9,1,30,3,0,7,3,67,64,25,0,6,12,0,3,2,3,1,2,2,0,3,28,14,0,2,18,0,1,3,12,5,0,1,8,5,54,8,41,51,11,34,0,3,0,1,30,12,0,6,21,217,82,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838290968370134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433787649754012,0.0,0.0,0.058589597248238215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544442200257854,0.06024285714170871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054500353968287,0.0,0.0,0.13249856464469711,0.0,0.105040804918248,0.1903068942913749,0.07331311458336356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097516034793363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069044235466448,0.061550454890975326,0.0,0.0,0.07874577961323087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19969365397271732,0.0,0.04501338645729795,0.0,0.048964910640648236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223266594151497,0.0,0.18612831690437745,0.0,0.0,0.15316029417198956,0.0,0.0,0.4261458535465253,0.0,0.0,0.18245528084350496,0.0,0.0,0.06085511533213004,0.08418374808457536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19277490416365545,0.0,0.0,0.07775990074488265,0.0,0.0,0.0873495003923495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25334072662938184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266979979651741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256864560511695,0.0900155473524398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858356822770842,0.0,0.09250018960776143,0.0,0.07357746006361897,0.0,0.06851536743232196,0.1725160293235485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21900120144531646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060982246060268974,0.0,0.13760990771561285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977697470171744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692495945056686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572387679557522,0.05520581630046647,0.0,0.0,0.2009549562396389,0.09902459920693807,0.0,0.08232654099314539,0.0,0.11698966098875126,0.0,0.08416270154127635,0.0896922960715496,0.10363605545738652,0.07441183646367952,0.0,0.0,0.1524525875903085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986824240359026,0.0,0.0,0.09907609983301527,0.0,0.0,0.06272319665498666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096434449326263
mentalhealth,spotheadcow,2019/03/15,"Lithium Neurotoxicity I’ve been taking lithium for 25 years.  For the last 4 I’ve been experiencing toxicity.  Somehow it slipped past me.  My lithium level was always therapeutic, but I guess that’s not always a good indicator of what’s really going on.  Besides doing irreparable damage to my kidneys and bladder, I’ve been having a lot of neurological problems.  For about 6 months now I’ve been tested for everything.  They thought I might have a bad case of MS.  My memory has been affected;  I remember the past 18 hours clearly.  Anything older than that is super fuzzy.  I have 6 different movement disorders, and use a rollator walker to get around.

I’ve started going off the lithium, but that will take a month.  Then it’s just a waiting game, my symptoms might go away, or they might not.  Fingers crossed.

Does anyone have any questions about neurotoxicity?",4.602692307692308,7.361298500000004,6.241641025641028,68.8366923076923,73.61538461538461,8.262564102564104,32.194871794871794,9.029198982220553,3.390482564102564,690,34,109,16,15,235,102,156,0.114,0.828,0.058,-0.8275,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,1,6,5,0,0,9,0,17,5,3,2,1,23,28,6,0,1,6,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,3,1,0,5,2,3,0,0,7,2,11,2,16,17,1,21,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,8,11,71,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508171289993923,0.0,0.0,0.10249268483763968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538478604970726,0.0,0.1240271964777534,0.13417002695629174,0.0,0.0,0.14160352274431404,0.0,0.12584234617529022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746711973785868,0.1727346662494504,0.0,0.13189340642619066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354546638636128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874337848911303,0.0,0.25696772414045177,0.12641421526641713,0.0,0.0,0.16603169706857288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842582242293276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285441882582974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813414936567774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796605547395363,0.0,0.0,0.2406016409095331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877527389282805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421575306072182,0.0,0.0,0.16883746159963234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655312857988356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073290806665584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667822309248738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665260507015638,0.2266407579544751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196524120015514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017104163642676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705676538598523
mentalhealth,STEPHGRAY360,2019/03/15,Questionnaire about mental health Hi I'm Steph and I'm a film student. I'm at the end of my first year at college and currently doing my end of year final project. my idea is to do a documentary about how mental health and mental illness is portrayed in the media and how it actually is in real life. part of my syllabus is to do research and I need answers to a questionnaire I have made. it will take 10 mins tops. thank you in advance   [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/178kXoPqFpAFkRtBdYwbEls3yBgr8S-Cb7Pkkht3doFU/edit](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/178kXoPqFpAFkRtBdYwbEls3yBgr8S-Cb7Pkkht3doFU/edit)  ,9.812333333333333,14.296207788888893,8.242222222222225,52.00000000000003,65.55555555555556,6.2666666666666675,25.66666666666667,7.554174236665415,1.5744666666666671,511,15,69,6,10,155,54,90,0.031,0.903,0.066,0.4767,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,0,5,0,9,4,0,3,0,12,16,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,7,1,13,14,1,15,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,8,45,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.18301349445927728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322122866948459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054425952887858,0.0,0.15952274213808942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39869578441096615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21171157636010252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246613930219778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17745634418436132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5669933005244757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905967908386685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20308921714788053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21346333596723632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100790180055406,0.0,0.0,0.17266305738230325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24154121202463424
mentalhealth,pewdieboi29,2019/03/15,"Christchurch Attacks Hello everyone, I'm new to this subreddit and this is actually the first time I've searched for anything related to mental health. 

I'm sure everyone's aware of the horrific attacks in CC today. I unfortunately came across the video of the terrorist on Twitter and I've been unable to do anything since. I've just been sitting on my bed horrified at the way the terrorist just mindlessly opened fire. I'll be moving to the United States for higher studies soon and I'm scared, not of being involved in a similar incident but thinking about how it will affect my family and friends. 

I understand that making this issue about me is the absolute dumbest thing I could do right now, but I can't get rid of all the scenarios that are running through my head.

I've also been following Pewdiepie for about 6 years now and I can't stop feeling bad for him getting dragged into this. Felix is a good guy, a pure guy. 

Could anyone please let me know what I can do to break out of this trance? I literally haven't done anything the whole day and I can't stop the video playing in my head. 

Thank you in advance! Prayers for all those affected in the attacks🙏",4.026900069557152,6.045106876651985,4.820134477162068,81.78419197774174,72.74449339207048,8.303176443310921,30.890099698585672,8.99025400887824,2.7633929515418503,939,43,175,20,19,303,135,227,0.125,0.755,0.12,0.5538,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,10,9,2,1,15,0,22,3,2,4,4,31,35,10,0,2,5,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,11,10,0,2,4,3,0,5,5,4,0,1,5,2,16,5,30,24,3,33,0,0,0,0,7,13,0,0,11,114,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.1302572699972401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674394442135016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333235160658693,0.0,0.32952811343131466,0.0,0.0,0.3037056438623378,0.0,0.0,0.11145026279875096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15266561293401082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21314591044238185,0.0,0.0,0.0860835870285371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659643016117345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550918078952322,0.0,0.0,0.12583310778407844,0.0,0.06749152179581787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353805879054893,0.0,0.0,0.10312635229293134,0.0,0.13947562951581974,0.0,0.0,0.11195672952024548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643324621395921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27397807202148783,0.14188304690378006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931848863681007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335714238072387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649239040599426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909896707782168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451649134990712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418681645079136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289158600247301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465210070105295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139912298120878,0.0,0.0,0.13363681165322794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041607325128763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231905903012403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580336351873636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289049258605393,0.0,0.0,0.08867821132400196,0.08552862367672293,0.0,0.0,0.07783328813873172,0.0,0.1265234760301325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895743513061612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595024739127287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902570431651901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595677319618142
mentalhealth,thecolorjade131,2019/03/15,Hospitalized My child has been hospitalized for the second time with mental health issues. I feel like I’m failing my child. ,4.073939393939398,7.425694272727274,4.433636363636363,76.33712121212123,83.54545454545453,6.56969696969697,20.96969696969697,7.793537801064563,1.5006787878787882,102,3,16,2,3,32,18,22,0.139,0.7559999999999999,0.105,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,9,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362762891888653,0.33383266941725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4967083113439616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4877302309183718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282947006192124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4709192586739331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724810466183148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nachodinosaur,2019/03/15,"From child prodigy to big time disappointment (long) Stuck in a college major I recently discovered is the biggest cause of my depression, I'm standing in front of a (to me) hard decision. 

I have been studying photography for about 3 years now, and I'm inching up to my 19th birthday. I was on a good roll in school and enjoyed it a lot, until a few weeks ago. I messed up am internship phenomenally and will need to redo this grade. My depression is at an all-time high, I have entirely isolated myself and I'm not sure I want to keep studying photography because I feel like I dont have a future in it. The decision to quit is giving me a lot of panic attacks, it would mean I wasted a lot of money, time and energy. On the other hand, there is a study I could potentially enjoy, but switching schools is such a drastic change that I dont know if I could handle it.


I havent told my parents, because as far as they know, I'm successful and doing great in every aspect. And I dont want to tell them because right now I'm the only successful person in the family, older brother is a loser without a job or degree which they shipped off to a home for autistic people, my mom never got a degree and only found a steady job at 53 and my dad isnt as much in the picture.


I'm sorry if I'm nagging, it feels like I'm overreacting. I just really need some advice.
",5.863429256594722,5.106937956834539,7.427928057553959,74.81791127098325,66.9136690647482,10.291031175059953,32.92182254196643,9.725611199111238,3.0001402398081543,1064,40,211,20,15,372,153,278,0.121,0.759,0.12,0.7801,3,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,3,4,6,17,2,1,22,0,22,1,1,1,2,39,45,17,0,9,7,4,4,2,0,2,0,0,1,2,9,9,0,1,8,0,1,1,8,8,0,0,6,4,27,9,35,35,7,35,0,4,0,0,12,20,0,7,15,141,36,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834546687910193,0.0982837256344881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261359697884547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20276455143106206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138988516506614,0.11729072383717196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704884096443999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19099242139666656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898329436748536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341671092068712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452279305704508,0.0,0.1121231524834342,0.15841780580489218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156837815127505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636110863033213,0.0,0.09299643215574173,0.08867662066579789,0.12223974056170715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993219470059296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171452007002495,0.11121635734638616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200520493063229,0.09855052160920724,0.0,0.0,0.12186766340498432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833554910043083,0.0,0.0,0.09812061436789744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28278509746406283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207750448129182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985510051946125,0.0,0.0,0.08150565683213208,0.16442436008686762,0.08551339852457107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686504006108709,0.0,0.13008756306238645,0.1231132255491406,0.0,0.0,0.0768665517677957,0.09681150537619247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117928883944603,0.0,0.0,0.07102916750683744,0.0,0.10947538341083772,0.0,0.0,0.09468638209597233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22442221746343516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411514147748545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449808609600968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690936876686568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930385035127262,0.0,0.0,0.10594552068495636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307935333059356,0.0,0.08893699094417806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687924757304444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078762200825893,0.0,0.0,0.07139966718498725
mentalhealth,plastixmith,2019/03/15,"My 13yo son’s school project about battling depression My son needed to do a multimedia piece on a social justice topic for his grade eight class. He chose to do an animated feature on mental health, specifically depression.

His film is called “Overcoming the Darkness” and I think it’s amazing. I hope it helps someone. 

https://youtu.be/C526l69Tabs",6.709712643678159,10.233567672413793,5.4731034482758645,73.0405747126437,70.55172413793103,8.694252873563219,33.804597701149426,9.2995712137729,3.895749425287356,287,14,41,7,6,85,47,58,0.16899999999999998,0.645,0.18600000000000005,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,6,2,6,6,1,2,0,2,0,0,8,2,0,1,0,24,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033211473236335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5116972656943959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31575013975193283,0.0,0.0,0.19910627805996145,0.0,0.0,0.2950375635692602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29935641973827143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22025872768863008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006303449041385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028049519494766,0.2516894057300996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903375735723381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TTDonmyKnees,2019/03/15,"Who am I?How do I find myself? As a child I wasn’t given any parental guidance or affection my parents loved me but my dad was almost  never around and raising 2 children was hard for my mom with the predicament she was in at the time looking for a home for us to sleep in, it was rough I can’t blame her she didn’t choose to be in that position.Never really lived at all as a child to be quite frank growing up I was always very shy and timid because I was just thrown into different environments when I would become comfortable the chair would be pulled out from under me.To add to all this I was put through very traumatic experiences related to my family and my own father which I will choose to not speak on and it never stoped I was never given a sec to breath through all that bullshit that clouded over the 17 years of my life it never let up just a tiny bit, shit would just keep piling up to the brim I guess was just unlucky.


“Where I am now” -
The name given to me is “Angel” I just turned 19 on March 9th I’m a young adult with no drive, no direction, no love to give even for myself.I keep living the same day over and over again doing nothing hoping for something or anything to spark some light into my life to be able to use as a fire to navigate my way through this dark pit I’ve been thrown into unwilling but I know their isn’t any hope in that miracles are almost non existent and futile to wish upon.I try to do something with the little bit of will I have left inside of me but with each attempt I always put myself back into my endless cycle.No matter how hard I fight I just kick myself back down and push myself further in my descent of darkness.What is that I need to give me some warmth and be able to push on with my life? To be loved? Is it just that what if it is how do I attain it with the chains that are wrapped around my wrists bearing down on me preventing me from reaching outwards? I don’t know why I am so lost.I think I was too selfish with the love I didn’t share with myself and sent carelessly on others with no reciprocation but instead received disappointment.Is my life just out of balance, I’m so confused. ",4.280172413793103,4.806122310810813,5.077881329605468,85.92608108108111,70.26126126126125,7.835849642746194,26.57160608884747,7.753152298057669,1.3295292948120534,1702,50,359,19,29,553,213,444,0.139,0.759,0.102,-0.9423,3,0,2,0,1,0,21.0,1,0,1,3,25,14,2,2,17,0,43,12,4,4,7,80,68,24,0,8,16,5,4,0,0,5,4,1,1,4,19,28,0,3,6,0,0,9,15,6,0,0,18,7,52,8,75,38,10,58,1,0,1,4,27,34,1,11,14,260,71,0,0.1834571538709967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370583927083134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265104846684982,0.0,0.0,0.12475715564614412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548480303663357,0.16331576212048154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106722719250495,0.0,0.05591688910601013,0.10130700647697864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20028769704085606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05915734360756241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583683946520796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06058585995308378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972814957683578,0.08647353870050117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383825751575906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17598881879005251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010493690656568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164341575211044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201124175731414,0.18221434840400333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630651477075881,0.0,0.0,0.1008232539484387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966336723461278,0.09379868471777568,0.2591624265033805,0.0,0.0919361320511815,0.16199602795895862,0.0,0.07702890219338003,0.0,0.10013257748417052,0.0,0.3311544880281544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074314006716092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801557750909402,0.2829869336802021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801604350301134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370745868333015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844251108462572,0.0,0.09756463266461847,0.0,0.0,0.058763675229332124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415806604921867,0.0,0.0,0.09179482221674046,0.0,0.0,0.14123427995549498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587759682626666,0.0,0.0,0.05348767087276441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06227768251727552,0.09977435118187404,0.0,0.0,0.11033818381161836,0.07922403890473785,0.0,0.1513713651310118,0.0,0.07280987475758867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277077321683635,0.0,0.10548333653251114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954840477006016,0.0,0.0,0.05907019610693176
mentalhealth,Rich_Pitchshift,2019/03/15,"Son of a schizophrenic mother My mother has had schizophrenia since I was 8. I am now 33 and only just looking up her illness online. What's strange about this is I've always researched everything I do or any decision I make by Googling the topic until I can't Google it any more! I don't know if it's because I’d been living through experience of it or because I wanted to shut it out. One of the most frustrating things about the mental health services in UK is how they never once explained what was happening to my mum to me or my brother. 

​

My dad wasn't around. He used to hit my mother and myself as a child so when I was 4 and my mum was pregnant she moved without telling him the address. After my brother was born my dad would be around now and then but never fully came back into our lives. At age 8 my mum had a new partner and my childhood was the most normal it'd ever be. That changed around my mum's 30th birthday when she started to have paranoid delusions. 

​

Luckily my grandparents were around to help. My mum would be sectioned numerous times under the metal health act so me and my brother would go into their care. Throughout the years my granddad fought to make sure my mum got treatment. The services here in the UK would basically top up my mum on medication and dump her back out into the world for me and my family to pick up the responsibility. She would often reach a stage where she'd stop her medication as she thinks she is well or that it's holding her back, which would see her deteriorate again. Since having the illness she’s recently set a new record and hasn’t been sectioned for a good 5 years. 

​

Dealing with a schizophrenic mother for the past 25 years has always been difficult but what has triggered me start this online search is a change in circumstances. 6 months ago, my granddad passed away from cancer. Throughout the cancer stages some of the behaviour from my mother was unforgivable. The selfishness she displayed is what could easily be characterised as evil. From arguing with him while ill in hospital to telling my grandma over my granddad's bed ""let's go I'm tired, he'll be here in the morning anyway"". I won't list everything, but she made it very difficult to grieve as she'd somehow make every situation about her. 

​

I'm writing this post in the hope I can reach out to other people who have had experience of parents or any family member having schizophrenia – as at times it feels isolating not having people with shared experience to talk to. One of the hardest things about my mother’s illness is her selfish behaviour. While having a look on YouTube I stumbled a video which discussed [the link between narcissism and schizophrenia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkfi9ovmszM). Even though, as she states in the video, this is just anecdotal ‘noticing’s’, it describes my mother to a tee. 

​

For the past 3 years my mother’s mental health hasn't been great due to her local GP lowering her medication, meaning she is always teetering on the edge of another breakdown. I fear without my granddad's presence myself or my brother will have to step in to make sure she is treated once again under the mental health act.",6.810774249673768,7.658196355371902,6.515078294910832,76.70984232274904,64.78512396694215,9.145280556763812,33.607003044802084,9.134995656068208,2.9703223140495867,2605,107,454,42,38,815,276,605,0.131,0.807,0.062,-0.9937,3,0,0,0,0,0,70.0,1,0,2,1,32,20,5,1,35,0,60,16,0,9,5,78,89,36,1,11,15,27,1,0,1,9,16,0,2,2,25,24,0,2,7,2,0,8,11,11,1,2,20,4,72,9,81,49,6,87,0,1,3,0,70,37,0,13,37,328,97,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512260647262503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425411421926232,0.3130693605963363,0.3510970807203431,0.11789459136376247,0.060596335614226914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20577625322021034,0.0,0.0,0.05429424703514482,0.1333074886049106,0.0,0.0704547300429965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609470862266698,0.05891928033007221,0.0,0.12226525138895165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046139456600785764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957745978797025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03816879368346792,0.052273053883856495,0.048689347592836135,0.0,0.10387324890430816,0.1695848782925432,0.10895580785003976,0.06502818735146176,0.02921962832273918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568513185806724,0.0484702957907481,0.046218784245367565,0.06371208276557992,0.0,0.0,0.05110222582359416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24570611451722324,0.0,0.0,0.038734448381031565,0.0,0.0,0.057397071493130995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03175907696477264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909270987563502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205670058153678,0.0,0.09705565878770704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468092532052765,0.1542972292034018,0.0,0.0,0.0629486745945185,0.0,0.17464765990510958,0.17471180568787245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046126270997477486,0.06142008547816327,0.0,0.0,0.0891401879507949,0.11162508755469487,0.0,0.0,0.056620511443335624,0.0,0.06579264965169784,0.0,0.1230858440676684,0.0783180370433368,0.04395079796796467,0.0,0.0,0.06416734835726168,0.0,0.11033142389135182,0.08012661161796789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553454587360064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057059223593033774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04604999416076512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560657503084746,0.06495675387088484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180606930679447,0.0,0.0,0.048313817204067765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108930053018769,0.0,0.0,0.04644824923305845,0.10101948343906764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678429249385274,0.03702857082330795,0.056776959086617576,0.0,0.0673939389729787,0.06641943966604852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049910754721771686,0.0,0.04768160763703412,0.03408518531247946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05195884851605282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114122041818184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463079765104063,0.0,0.3510970807203431,0.14885573167028776
mentalhealth,phleb-,2019/03/15,"having thoughts of barbarically mutilating myself Basically the title. I keep having thoughts of ripping off my arms and slapping them around, or cracking my jaw open. I used to have thoughts of killing my family which are now gone but I think it's because I've directed them upon myself.

I also get like 2 hours of sleep a night and every rest I get makes me feel worse. I wake up with this roaring, zombie-like state of brain fog and complete mental confusion and scatteredness. Don't let my coherence and intelligence fool you, I am a completely personalityless zombie and this is the only skill I posess. It really feels like somebody is running some cruel expiriment on me and I just don't understand. None of it makes sense.

I just want to program and make games and be normal again but this shit is only geytting worse i just dont know what to do. my peronality seems more and more distant by the day. i Swear to you I would give anything to go back a year and prevent this shit.",4.982380952380954,6.553590280423283,5.658068783068786,78.54202380952384,69.47619047619048,8.574603174603174,29.37301587301588,9.04235418022936,2.4506126984126984,789,30,146,15,14,256,119,189,0.17800000000000002,0.7559999999999999,0.066,-0.9791,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,2,1,8,8,4,1,6,0,15,7,7,4,0,40,35,15,1,3,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,14,0,2,9,1,0,3,4,6,0,0,4,2,26,2,18,28,5,17,0,0,0,0,6,6,2,4,9,100,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283848056584088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611416405519437,0.12560987399313753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849801882037474,0.0,0.0860139070901513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575154672331095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958835900493944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909985218797538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653694117698343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888374329372912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301753803650102,0.0,0.14268988862647267,0.10080263784096682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743897834996442,0.13535701064855934,0.08019099392469747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895613852672115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541712073763006,0.1561074362065697,0.0,0.07754546199097853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428541146481588,0.0,0.13786971818966792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28255819436544233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219669862542267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324138026291433,0.1382490971922483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146274551416188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039296323994403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284531214193176,0.0,0.0,0.2896764564134283,0.0,0.0,0.14120297884488398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041187294404224,0.0,0.3360554827805016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468911977017871,0.0,0.1218660270734951,0.0,0.0,0.08322507121463682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875881048119054,0.10023415695061737,0.0,0.0,0.09086446762276228
mentalhealth,meep123456_,2019/03/15,"Dad talks to himself negatively My dad is in his late 50s and is talking to himself a lot lately. He will speak at full volume like he is mid conversation with someone else while I am sitting in the same room. He doesn’t look like he thinks he sees a person who isn’t there, most of the time he’s staring down at his phone. Sometimes he will mumbles things under his breath. Sometimes he will randomly say things like “I’m sick, I’m so sick.” But right after say something normal to someone else like, “hey what are we getting for dinner?” 

He also will be sitting watching tv and then randomly call out my mom’s name like he needs to talk to her and if she answers he seems surprised and says something like “oh, never mind.” He doesn’t seem to realize that this happens often because he acts kind of like he was caught off guard every time. 

It’s extremely stressful to be around and I feel like it is not normal but I’m not sure what is wrong. Maybe this is normal? Growing up I was never around him this much so I don’t have a great neutral measurement for how often he used to do this. My mom claims that he’s done this his whole life but I don’t think that’s true. Can anyone shed light on what might be going on? ",2.369211391018624,4.230750012048194,3.2305166119021567,92.06029846659365,76.99196787148594,5.651770719240599,22.964768163563342,6.351523495107088,0.4060345381526105,959,29,203,7,22,304,140,249,0.052000000000000005,0.8370000000000001,0.11,0.8909,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,0,9,15,0,1,5,0,27,5,1,2,4,44,43,15,0,5,6,4,1,8,0,5,3,4,1,1,16,10,1,1,7,1,0,4,10,2,0,0,4,10,18,13,27,31,6,32,0,0,4,0,44,17,0,10,17,122,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247985728492521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211686885198185,0.0,0.0,0.18363034363062394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287229981951882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531598616782227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055465406154731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723180400295806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689867260879125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214994738894122,0.07368219725553328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388563294879041,0.0,0.058616012031339086,0.0,0.0,0.11371061012706912,0.0,0.0,0.09120507484635937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074029233755882,0.0,0.0,0.2326895426317692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284980460100025,0.4031062674071173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661040181060503,0.0,0.0,0.08768470280811001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036165313550591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941369754360318,0.10414052909641892,0.2415892350610141,0.0,0.0,0.07581869795044845,0.07647592435699094,0.15909360860201727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031616275495553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005659937645026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807975400947987,0.0,0.2460597323184312,0.0,0.0,0.08218806708352487,0.1877869157638375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747779091985076,0.15880218188320705,0.20401331677697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814485498823735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720685819919504,0.0,0.0,0.2486965672928196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704133295683596,0.13217403034660974,0.0,0.0,0.120281830177807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907858800028502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515050235817842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276580814970134,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dylanjannetta,2019/03/15,"Are you still there- Dylan Jannetta Are you still there.
When all that's left is a shell?
Are you still there,
When you don't know where to go?
Are you still there,
When you graze the outskirts of hell?
Are you still there,
When you feel so extremely low?

Are you still there,
When you feel alone?
Are you still there,
When you fail and fall?
Are you still there,
When you're stuck behind your phone?
Are you still there,
When all you can do is crawl?

Are you still there,
When you feel used and abused?
Are you still there,
When you feel broken and torn?
Are you still there,
When you feel like help as been refused?
Are you still there,
When you think you shouldn't have been born?

You are not alone, there is help.
Just ask and you shall receive.




I wrote this late last night, I'm not the most creative but I'm proud of this.",1.3401472556894234,3.6602417831325336,0.5885943775100415,107.26842034805892,82.97590361445782,4.1708165997322615,12.836680053547525,5.033348758259628,-1.7238275769745646,640,6,157,2,18,177,70,166,0.123,0.8220000000000001,0.055,-0.7819,0,2,0,0,1,0,30.0,0,27,0,2,42,5,1,0,3,0,25,0,0,1,2,22,39,19,0,1,4,0,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,7,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,4,5,28,2,5,33,3,35,1,2,0,0,34,3,1,1,30,116,31,1,0.0,0.10429158856815997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18232833811715046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228861849460528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22253265212401305,0.06288288134716521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05002488887278539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799848282236584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048374548422859424,0.07174961762046403,0.09929256621714586,0.0,0.09563607988176134,0.0,0.0,0.04300306676480937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260261455252715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9138275069391248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564008958543803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602268239054563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RoutineWrangler400,2019/03/15,"Quit my job and country to find the courage to cut my hair (8 months and still growing) More details about my situation here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/b1agcr/terrified_of_cutting_my_hair/?

They say it becomes a mental health issue when it interferes with your life. At this point, it's obvious that it does.

I have never been diagnosed with any mental health issue. What could it be? Anxiety? Depression? Body Dismorphic Disorder? Narcissism? Autism? Shyness?

I have loads of other problems with perfectionism and lack of focus and grandiose delusion, but not being comfortable with my body is the one causing me the most troubles.

What do you think? As much as I dislike drugs, a pill that would temporarily give me the courage to take the first step would probably be life changing.",6.479854651162793,10.338933007751939,4.7512742248062025,75.35853924418606,75.51162790697674,7.566085271317829,29.76792635658915,8.472884824447931,2.9547554263565896,654,28,96,14,16,188,93,129,0.171,0.757,0.07200000000000001,-0.9053,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,1,2,4,7,1,0,7,0,11,10,3,1,2,22,14,8,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,2,7,1,0,0,11,8,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,4,0,2,1,2,12,3,13,7,4,9,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,5,70,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008458300962628,0.0,0.11344543203946955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637804117900173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32944510174990865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234003354250966,0.156876672105379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840166068534998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772644965364918,0.15051651960040316,0.0,0.0,0.16995916178721787,0.0,0.12977414023589226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197536646027206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553913808329562,0.12613983241706028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225828111120573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152617536341831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095633481221398,0.1471601165709758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20949058909794785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988933905856184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836782419389873,0.0,0.10901404461736013,0.0,0.11437441037177926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048867423581567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018690952931415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15988732142717513,0.14189849113041414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773021303895846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179303055077875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666900327324471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184287486586912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149954460540976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950215845890585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106893290285205,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cailedoll,2019/03/15,Having a problem Is it considered abusive if I say “I know I’m stupid “ to someone? I didn’t call them stupid or anything.,0.6346666666666678,2.992156200000004,2.764,90.08866666666668,87.0,4.933333333333334,28.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,1.401133333333334,95,5,19,1,3,32,21,25,0.477,0.523,0.0,-0.9287,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,12,5,0,0.0,0.4966378915768136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449342384312123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280108047170774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23036022429563466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4010809916251436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333340862113049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551542186749121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,devy16,2019/03/15,"Snitches get Stitches So I am in a situation and it’s affecting my mental health badly. I really don’t know what to do. I am 16 years old. Indigenous person. I try my best to stay focused in school and basketball. Me and my friend went to a outdoor court and came across some guys who we knew from the same  reserve. This happened in the city. My friend began shooting the basketball as we just got there and he bumped one of the guys we we were familiar with and he began to threaten him but it was only basketball trash talk that made him so defensive. So the guy we knew started threatening my friend after they started saying stuff back and forward, his bro came up to his face and starting saying “I don’t like the way you were talking to him” and from there, the guy who walked up on him swung on my friend and cracked his head around and he fell towards the 6ft wired fence and fell to the ground and the first guy started kicking his body and head. I couldn’t do anything cause there was two more of them and he had a can of mace. I never felt so pressed in my life. Police arrived at my house because I couldn’t stay any long after that happened. Felt too sorry and upset with the situation. So much was going thru my head I totally forgot how often I see the first guy and I had no way out of the situation because his parents were messaging me and calling me. His girlfriend was so pissed off thinking I had something to do with it because I knew who they were. They kept asking me for a statement and I wrote some shit briefly to get out and I wasn’t very descriptive and the parents were mad about that. I ran into the first guy at a public event and he threatened me because he got disclosure and seen my name. I’ve never felt so insecure in my life and spend most of my time at school, practice at the gyms. Or at home playing video games and doing everyday things like chores and what not. Lately it’s been affecting my mental health as not feeling safe, feeling lonely, and not feeling happy with my self. 

I made this post to reach out for advice on what my best option is to help myself. I really wanna help myself and people tell me that’s all I need to gain help from others. Thank you for reading. I really hope I get feedback 😞 Peace ",3.389746136865341,4.97789887417219,4.139133554083887,87.79934050772628,73.50331125827816,6.887637969094922,25.607615894039736,7.492282038375204,1.2093086092715235,1782,59,361,21,36,569,214,453,0.114,0.762,0.125,0.6521,2,2,1,1,0,0,28.0,5,2,4,6,17,21,4,2,21,0,26,11,7,6,4,90,66,40,0,5,6,3,7,2,5,0,4,2,2,9,19,44,0,5,12,5,1,9,11,8,0,5,34,11,65,13,57,30,10,59,0,1,2,0,62,25,2,7,24,254,84,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779720647874045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047180691076150715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05709372187222616,0.06176279413044398,0.06486081332206997,0.0,0.0,0.05334883784956226,0.05792929386716528,0.16917330038096806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456197873807554,0.0,0.0,0.07706539555168725,0.0,0.0,0.07084460491357619,0.15870417768390108,0.0,0.07127223856691664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524164146778328,0.0,0.19984666768563256,0.0,0.0,0.1770434472100386,0.0,0.0,0.2144108633718892,0.0,0.1087443563608225,0.0,0.039430179264070934,0.0,0.11097884081896303,0.0,0.0,0.4808788577688831,0.12270478070265944,0.07385616225915974,0.0,0.0,0.21361128967391746,0.14749511598190654,0.0,0.0,0.13951159419083034,0.0,0.06959366699891621,0.06890986602865119,0.0,0.08005505543560733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038129362385640436,0.0,0.07826351589681603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801010867932143,0.06779100042593786,0.0,0.0,0.0613990021340185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129782200163936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983718228569486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051002187766650976,0.051444294865530316,0.10702006652365853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280250313780645,0.0,0.047013595814981185,0.05276651789085116,0.0,0.0,0.15407627126906182,0.0,0.0,0.04809926646331355,0.060579826812979624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644673757003207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939864567683783,0.0,0.13333956484347234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034731544909346,0.0,0.14043226591808675,0.055286774145232455,0.0,0.07237833611750834,0.0,0.07121744005123577,0.0,0.2339576440289865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341201390357878,0.0,0.07766508480947082,0.19642971774043905,0.1478994213319009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794233527322571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152982368790393,0.060641064857314075,0.06387566327549295,0.0,0.0,0.04609290309775982,0.04445581957908672,0.0,0.0,0.04045596042584542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047104377854208984,0.0,0.06777405218761144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057245659209145414,0.0,0.11014102366920024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431583503933752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0446783618926619
mentalhealth,lbart00,2019/03/15,"ESA application help? Any tips? I'm applying to get an emotional support animal registered for an on-campus apartment (US). I've got the forms and such from the director, but how can I make sure my psychiatrist signs off on it? He seems very nice and helpful but I am not sure if he will believe that I ""need"" this animal, seeing as my issues aren't suicidal and aren't as apparent in the times I've seen him. My anxiety is so bad that I need a fluff to calm me down during a panic attacks, and I actually have visited my neighbor's ESA cat for that exact reason. Also getting out of bed to keep an animal alive and happy is good at convincing me I can't just wallow for days in depressive states. Do you think this is enough for me to qualify? Do you have any tips? Thanks in advance.",3.4721698113207573,4.7829740314465425,5.459261006289308,79.52209905660379,72.83647798742138,9.576729559748427,27.08647798742139,9.928628108626363,2.6536704402515725,617,22,124,17,12,214,106,159,0.099,0.6509999999999999,0.25,0.9812,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,2,0,1,5,13,1,1,8,0,13,0,0,3,3,23,27,13,1,3,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,2,17,9,20,24,2,14,0,1,2,0,10,9,0,2,2,80,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.16655497194734833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648938496119242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321308093718385,0.0,0.1305665287980801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19416837538056345,0.0,0.0,0.14250717364461782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922931933975028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007177889548048,0.0,0.14700282653229768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19198731583778306,0.0,0.17635373801698334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783421344684893,0.0,0.0,0.1431547732034952,0.13650503815678802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168757526935447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288007977953164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814120445747494,0.0,0.15170450352789336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139274296359714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531079035155446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002512908839753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548316045440784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13600652446121295,0.15537684884579678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866916362057898,0.19368088852888507,0.32171986534324193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15713535640428905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936216855668576,0.0,0.0,0.09952243834675037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053019867289775,0.0,0.0,0.1408254192779357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Randojag,2019/03/15,"Random burst of energy at night Hi all, this is my first post on reddit. This issue has been happening for the past 6 months constantly where my mood would get uplifted and I feel super energetic around 9:30pm, (enough for me to play loud music, start singing out loud and doing stupid dance moves, I’m a laid back person that wouldn’t do something like that but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ). This would last for half an hour every night. I haven’t really changed many things that I believe for me to start experiencing this. I’m a healthy [19M] and I would go to bed around 11pm. Not sure what’s going on with me. ",3.3100000000000023,5.211203389830512,3.612000000000002,90.18342372881357,74.42372881355931,7.092881355932204,21.122033898305087,7.908726449838941,0.6837227118644065,472,11,100,7,10,146,87,118,0.041,0.846,0.113,0.7436,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,1,0,4,0,10,0,0,0,2,17,19,4,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,4,0,2,1,1,9,7,0,0,1,3,0,4,3,1,0,2,1,4,9,4,15,14,2,23,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,12,58,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091374816763284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335118141541722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562310757223672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18367897811053888,0.0,0.0,0.18763383888868712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940763088554754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14629192692322246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779324313523602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769076374744072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071523005932007,0.0,0.19735743000870365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354165655115906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17099193463869114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812260506308956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415327495648421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482752216379806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603496753517328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385909115569373,0.18454267926382276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258825774014877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657507997049395,0.0,0.15160822437695964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662908665905262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123270857983618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336699197460247,0.0,0.0,0.24579436990990786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364552149297198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535297412790542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700282534240489,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coridamedic,2019/03/15,"Being too hard on myself, self bullying. I am just curious if anyone else looks around their house and thinks ""dude.... You're house looks like you are depressed. Then bullies themselves into cleaning and consequently ends up sick and in total breakdown mode for 3-5 days following, with the house still looking like you're depressed only with piles of crap organized and not put away. I'm so stressed out about it, and sick, and ready to cry about things like people saying hi to me. This is ridiculous.",5.7220807453416125,7.640382326086961,4.798757763975157,84.0667391304348,68.13043478260869,7.431055900621117,28.360248447204967,7.957251820313856,1.8242248447204967,402,14,71,5,7,119,73,92,0.261,0.631,0.108,-0.9553,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,0,7,8,2,1,1,0,4,3,1,0,1,16,10,9,0,1,3,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,1,1,3,11,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,0,5,5,3,15,9,1,13,0,2,3,0,5,7,1,1,7,42,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147066581032076,0.16808726889128225,0.0,0.14603811410229894,0.0,0.0,0.1541291440491275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801997824127975,0.105797833394388,0.0,0.2825897919708597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370416299080957,0.0,0.1452984467711286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695540345160665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5678704866628602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24043770998450156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4132787476836283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476642077186617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373070572504833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491424361860255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045810241682182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113856096178606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100949543958698,0.0,0.1879172196952137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898665995712893,0.10511577631170896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Izzykat13,2019/03/15,"Mental Health How do you let people who have expressed an interest in your mental health know when you feel it getting bad again? I’m aware of it happening, but I seen to have trouble coming right out and saying it. ",2.0585714285714296,4.756290571428573,2.8574285714285743,89.53757142857144,83.76190476190476,5.2647619047619045,20.304761904761907,6.742157984588678,0.503527619047619,172,5,32,2,5,54,35,42,0.129,0.826,0.045,-0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,0,7,11,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,4,1,4,9,0,6,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,2,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21910728173392294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260490589277426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268594895527872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371020816098133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320545371843012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5578741216133289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421755193015928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26833922045770137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5289093453513728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192694618958224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241027331692698,0.0,0.20868457666796095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CouchMagic,2019/03/15,"What Kind of Therapy Do I Need?  

29 year old male, diagnosed with ADHD and major depressive disorder in the past

Best  friends with a narcissist and a group of enablers for most of my adult  life, experienced bullying through much of grade school, came from an  emotionally unsupportive but otherwise good family. Moved away to the  coast to start fresh and start working on my problems, cut ties with  previous toxic relationships

I work out 6 days a week, eat healthy every day, get at least 8 hours of sleep. Cut out weed completely, used to be daily smoker

It's  been 6 months and I am experiencing serious issues with socializing  with others. I have constant intrusive thoughts about worthlessness,  what others are thinking about me, etc. People used to tell me I was  funny but now I just feel awkward, people are put off by my outward  tension when they meet me

I  saw a doctor and got put on wellbutrin 300mg and I take vyvanse 30mg  for adhd symptoms. The wellbutrin gets me out the door but I feel like I  should talk about some of this stuff

I  receive great benefits from my new job and can probably afford any  private therapist I can find, but what am I even looking for? Should I  see a psychologist or a counsellor, which specialty should I be looking  into, is there a way to tell (i.e reviews) if my therapist sucks. Tell  me what you think r/mentalhealth",5.7781730346947775,7.286893407114627,6.122496706192358,76.2018126921388,67.49802371541503,9.890996925779538,32.632630654369784,10.125756701596842,3.4550493631971904,1084,47,193,27,18,348,168,253,0.094,0.785,0.121,0.9003,2,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,1,4,8,16,3,2,12,0,16,6,1,2,0,39,36,14,0,6,7,0,2,1,1,3,4,0,1,2,10,17,1,0,6,0,0,5,0,9,0,0,6,8,27,7,36,25,7,31,0,2,4,0,14,11,1,4,15,125,37,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615818045615093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400722158471419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224810972134844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142089658501647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447099625263235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410478083176374,0.1176051207860371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403709667490567,0.0,0.09373396651823246,0.1104588004044782,0.0,0.0,0.12472707433448013,0.11139074631616637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111358889625364,0.0,0.12241759603656513,0.0,0.0,0.1213727249182362,0.07188030440780434,0.0,0.0916928408954756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259397638038638,0.0,0.1100540821876226,0.07774721738496572,0.0,0.0,0.09946742484004167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408075376705508,0.0,0.1137169675944067,0.0,0.0,0.09128031776609027,0.0870402221371384,0.119983983293365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717430952607282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358884783392854,0.10799565381240467,0.0,0.0,0.11332830374891673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686890192923647,0.0531681867681235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277733260357298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686599917176935,0.11566764403235427,0.0800015880492204,0.08069507339851571,0.0,0.10510739924765514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141973730936938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388927144024307,0.1508961818921742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733570356010067,0.10413433124206424,0.0,0.21880572658929928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168412542575641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101404153308057,0.08672235296991088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890725606782016,0.11093711508921232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405897322673948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458278017102377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311464885142895,0.08182560941122229,0.08747235560467573,0.2853631404074645,0.0,0.12445505872003584,0.2527169274988432,0.0,0.13946602371759784,0.0,0.08639780080082696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798604285878215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638312579077616,0.08729578765934666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584571231537792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700820897959184
mentalhealth,TheLightoftheWest,2019/03/15,"Psypharm is rot w/ negative evidence and is obviously apart Neuroscience bc of greed. Chemical imbalance is a farce that drugs cannot cure but ironically cause. Harmful neurological changes like production and receptor site decrease, is a serious danger withdrawing from so called “meds.”",11.085333333333333,13.455252644444444,10.188888888888894,48.73000000000002,55.88888888888889,16.666666666666668,50.55555555555557,14.554592549557764,9.224555555555558,239,16,30,12,3,76,40,45,0.236,0.701,0.063,-0.7814,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,2,0,5,2,0,1,1,5,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,15,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156768334656481,0.0,0.0,0.4181859504706869,0.430639397310884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4720865580002994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19887998831314102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521769813210456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrotiusandPufendorf,2019/03/15,"Lately I'm in a constant existential crisis. I don't know what it is, but it feels like a whole lot of stuff is coming to the surface in my brain and I'm uncomfortable with who I am and what my life is and not knowing what it all is about.
I'm not religious, but lately I've been contemplating what it means to exist and it freaks me out. 
I'm thinking myself into really uncomfortable places. 
It's not something I can just ignore. 
How do I cope with this?",2.3559210526315795,3.989176210526317,4.4433552631578985,84.35661184210528,76.3684210526316,7.276315789473685,22.40131578947368,8.07648339933343,1.0818684210526317,360,10,76,6,8,124,59,95,0.152,0.813,0.035,-0.8735,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,9,2,1,1,1,24,19,7,0,0,6,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,13,9,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,1,1,8,1,10,18,3,10,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,4,57,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636405807777238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034370388345753,0.0,0.2552127274838461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941317817671608,0.16871781832694135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25958251586459,0.0,0.5328135349190839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681180197706064,0.11537931231030515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200780816933626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572551988792268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24674434643432525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129468708955449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181296616314446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703548188417177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132633709484197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636721251640498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SaltyCauldron,2019/03/15,"Never been diagnosed with anything, but I’m on a waitlist for a new therapist. Tbh I’m kinda worried about myself self-harming now. I have a lot of anxiety and I feel like it’s depression mixed in. When I get upset it’s normally over small things like my boyfriend mishearing me (he’s partially deaf) or when I make a mistake like knocking something over. But recently I’ve been...scratching. It sounds weird but I’ve never really had long nails before cause I’ve bitten them. But now I start scratching my arm when I get upset. 

When my chest tightens and my breathing gets shallow I start scratching. Sometimes it’s to keep myself from crying and other times it’s to tell myself to stop crying. Idk what to do, I can’t tell a therapist about it until I get an appointment and I don’t want to worry my boyfriend (who already tries to stop my hands from fidgeting/hurting myself). ",2.2083333333333357,4.911416192982454,3.4088274853801184,85.85148684210529,82.9766081871345,6.22701754385965,25.50906432748538,7.554174236665415,1.6834488888888886,703,29,127,12,20,227,98,171,0.232,0.705,0.064,-0.9827,0,0,1,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,1,0,8,8,0,2,6,0,6,6,4,2,2,23,18,14,0,3,5,0,4,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,10,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,6,22,3,18,16,1,22,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,3,20,80,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571543224081276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894419340547097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719229973237005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118145902915105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462955517845521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128640758274791,0.0,0.0,0.12265857499859514,0.1445443904375064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200739174569294,0.10173860393170234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297615938307235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524541562919408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658163562258073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20872478568274397,0.0,0.0,0.12602944816702594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210729264618042,0.0,0.0,0.09506059510584128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196726242770997,0.13754164357290982,0.0,0.0,0.1395327587096273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123227409773296,0.0,0.14061389900607402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485659610595383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963511464020896,0.14084833789892426,0.0,0.20159878882393129,0.0,0.0,0.2381243131306862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24894736639355625,0.0,0.0,0.330700805230534,0.09461168650831092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304112754808769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668787017513858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839978272280146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892510131703758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Little80sbunny,2019/03/16,"I'm a pathetic waste of space and chronically ill.  

i don't belong...

i'm a nobody

i'm invisible

i'm forgotten

i'm a waste of time

i'm a empty soul

i'm the after thought...

i hear the laughter....

Join another server... i heard in the back of my mind.... this one will be different than all the other 30 i joined within the last 3 years and left because it ended up the same way....

I kept hoping it would be different...

that i wouldn't hear the echos of laughter...

everything i did in middle school/high school was funny to all the students... anytime i answered a question in class.. laughter...that's the main noise i heard... laughter in school...

you're a loser, freak, ugly stupid girl.. then just endless laughter... that was 1996-1998 pretty much... day in..day out... all day at school... then at home... i couldn't escape it... i couldn't escape the laughter...

I just really don't want to be around laughter... it hurts.. it brings me back to the time when i would be in my room.. crying my eyes out when i'd get home from school...just wanting them to stop laughing at me.. laugh at my face, my looks, my walk, my voice... everything was fucking hilarious...

15+ years later after high school graduate... i'm still broken inside... i'm still this quiet shy girl with low self esteem.. that's honestly just terrified inside...

THIS is why i didn't speak up in school..this is why i was so quiet...",0.6491358288770037,3.0556163018181834,2.453866310160429,91.87562299465242,87.80000000000004,5.271657754010697,18.997326203208555,6.794906146795322,0.2613529411764701,1053,30,220,14,34,347,137,275,0.182,0.73,0.08800000000000001,-0.9672,2,0,0,0,0,0,109.0,0,0,1,1,11,10,2,0,17,0,20,5,2,0,3,27,42,7,0,8,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,8,3,3,12,6,0,2,3,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,10,10,25,4,29,22,6,45,1,3,2,1,10,22,1,2,20,124,37,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111882336963436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584616706655403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14830265733015344,0.0,0.058784902837428175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059275567988328,0.18657468709487607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20150474700148926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541136546920637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733362356373042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915112023733482,0.05038246900973957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173748905996716,0.0,0.0,0.2037743538236708,0.1934611167799556,0.09578012061979428,0.0,0.0,0.10323394437102264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860608813041614,0.0,0.0,0.10477516637648432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097976485292177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737023938912434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088964146486883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653457645100764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810743166006457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802747278493598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061777702478716424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6831702120903148,0.0,0.0,0.10060106285379544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402366843676854,0.08062263664378938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655734431616028,0.11246217683157332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375783034394095,0.0765443407467767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740322803761824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700703471493011,0.0,0.0,0.12419989002430334
mentalhealth,drak0nik,2019/03/16,"Can anybody help me figure out what these episodes are I've been having? I haven't had any said 'episodes' since about summer of 2017 I think, but I can't shake the feeling that they're eventually going to come back, especially since I keep having scares. I've just turned 20, and I believe they may have started when i was in middle school or at the very beginning of high school, usually lasting one and a half to two weeks. They would happen about once or twice a year. I used to think that they were maybe some kind of manic episodes (although I never felt any kind of euphoric or otherwise ""on top of the world"" type of feeling, only debilitating anxiety and paranoia) but to my knowledge no one in my family is bipolar so I don't know what the odds are of that.

​

Basically, it would start with a standard panic attack- usually triggered by a phobia or something but sometimes random- dizziness, shakiness, rapid heart rate, restlessness, a disconnected or floating feeling, and of course intense dread of ""oncoming doom"" or that otherwise something bad was about to happen to me or that I was dying. Except it would not go away- 24/7 full blown panic attacks that lasted for weeks at a time. I was unable to think or talk straight because my thoughts would be racing so badly; I always tried to tell people about what I was going through but I don't think I was ever coherent enough to get through to anybody(or maybe they just didn't care and brushed me off, because unfortunately my family just tends to be like that :/). I couldn't eat whatsoever, I would be awake for days at a time, pacing or otherwise moving nonstop (and I mean nonstop) because I was physically unable to sit still or focus on anything. Generally the only time I slept or rested at all was when I would collapse of exhaustion and not have the energy to be able to get back up. When I WOULD sleep, it was typically only for a couple hours at a time before I was up and walking around in endless circles again. I don't think I've ever felt quite as helpless as the times when I was stuck in these episodes.

​

The worst of these episodes, by far, was near the end of 2016/the beginning of 2017. It started when I began my senior year of high school and lasted for about five whole months. I was eventually rendered unable to function whatsoever in school and even had to miss the last half of the school year because I could no longer cope with being there(luckily I still graduated). It was around this time I started developing what I considered pretty severe depersonalization/derealization issues that still haven't gone away to this day. My paranoia was also the absolute worst during this time. There were littler things, like being too afraid to leave my room at night because I was scared there were demons in my house that were going to get me, or having to throw out my lamp because I couldn't shake the feeling it was watching me. The worst of it was I was soooo convinced that there was something inside of my head, like maybe a tumor or some actual living thing that was causing me to feel like this. I got really overwhelming urges to cut out my own eyes just to try to dissect my own brain. I don't know if this was directly caused by the episode or if I was becoming increasingly paranoid (delusional?) due to sheer lack of sleep. I also lost so much weight during this time that everyone around me started accusing me of being anorexic and even my doctor made comments about it- for some reason I couldn't get anyone to understand that I wasn't starving myself on purpose and that ""I'm just dying!"" because I was 100% convinced whatever was in my head was going to kill me. I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for nearly a decade and I can easily say I had never, ever felt such horrible dread waking up in the morning (assuming it was a rare night that I actually slept a little). I felt so, so trapped and hopeless and it just kept going and going and going right into the new year and beyond. And, like I said, nobody understood. Even a little. I told my mom I was dying and she laughed in my face. 

​

FINALLY, after months of suffering unlike I had ever experienced before, my primary care doctor prescribed me propranolol(which I've been on ever since) for my physical symptoms, which seemed to help a little, and that combined with getting out of school finally let me be able to start to come down from this episode, sometime in January or maybe Feb? It's really fuzzy, honestly. Later that year (2017) during the Summer-ish I had another episode that lasted around 3 weeks (but my symptoms weren't nearly as severe, thank god) and I haven't had one since, but I have had scares where I've had extreme bouts of anxiety that would last a few days at a time that had me thinking ""oh god, this is the end, it's happening again"". Luckily it hasn't. :P

​

So... that's about it, I think. I still haven't talked to anyone about these episodes since the last one because, you know, people just didn't take me seriously. I'm starting to live in fear of when the next one might be since it's overdue at this point. Idk, what do you think? Is it just particularly bad anxiety or something else?",7.349290689149562,7.228066425403231,7.193375366568914,75.61438123167156,63.67741935483871,10.077448680351909,33.762170087976536,9.61981836618189,3.066597338709677,4162,156,758,71,55,1324,381,992,0.185,0.746,0.069,-0.9991,1,1,4,0,0,2,134.0,0,2,4,3,57,48,4,14,38,0,96,19,11,6,8,138,171,65,4,15,35,1,10,5,0,10,6,3,1,0,58,37,2,2,29,0,0,17,23,34,0,10,66,17,94,14,128,81,17,152,2,9,2,0,18,58,0,27,81,538,152,11,0.07633903535885662,0.0,0.07449588647200485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06104829899594383,0.0317600964055937,0.16542662583441814,0.18552056736963352,0.05191316182108845,0.040024067348435576,0.11679830620079405,0.0,0.0,0.0533780284938941,0.0,0.03141026079649053,0.1359158525694872,0.0,0.08684667338166703,0.07172303664702248,0.05870000606352474,0.09560985876151218,0.18614226960579985,0.042155233450226495,0.06495889645475582,0.043003975615954905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04260980514764078,0.0,0.0,0.0778327342783581,0.07842121786863472,0.0,0.06575931944151384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030475253985102375,0.04223384531645825,0.0,0.07384854365345664,0.0,0.032875349646949464,0.0,0.11884179948472826,0.0,0.0,0.07813623745168853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03905694561659023,0.03188573421562993,0.0,0.06761372670180668,0.03943931511807396,0.0,0.0756318193259029,0.17263256993585172,0.0,0.03647260986143869,0.0,0.0,0.07196564853616902,0.042951319146937436,0.09649827502201257,0.027268311056813842,0.14659489100777232,0.08362568181305828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997099879937802,0.0,0.1735409321127937,0.0,0.030527650140037357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125953528145154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834587409042112,0.0,0.0,0.04523106222918485,0.05116844624323864,0.080656382160512,0.0,0.0,0.03758928625040833,0.04404249866451887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03983905970530092,0.0,0.033926821096876086,0.04222891602775578,0.07949535795898774,0.06293090609246864,0.2177927592847691,0.0,0.04041600797924,0.0,0.039030917891158604,0.0,0.0932384916067954,0.11476765262062427,0.06740876681783269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041666537454912576,0.0,0.0,0.03611692052860276,0.0,0.0,0.15338564336343402,0.041577794530437584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04049182637901135,0.0,0.04470367778783045,0.06093308970655925,0.040568156684832886,0.028058987335372716,0.0,0.05887737022100024,0.036864358024111234,0.04059371507580898,0.07163901333620898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04064929061029535,0.1293232650723122,0.08708891453863596,0.0,0.08956740982959617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052923875136874514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036082531685478536,0.0,0.0,0.03883212166928384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04059798043087184,0.0,0.0,0.04890474082360166,0.039244621298644776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032596559543530405,0.07261590408946968,0.030353932470942344,0.11464303776991296,0.2317775379892512,0.0,0.034748095348523814,0.0,0.08624138091299112,0.0,0.18944531674401235,0.0,0.0763941664972221,0.0,0.0,0.11753903801414743,0.07550125795398896,0.0,0.18911606749650087,0.0,0.12192890449746985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934548743244113,0.028698727039844225,0.06135842495018401,0.03336184084141339,0.035141363642787075,0.0,0.0,0.0507162630037715,0.1956598856912317,0.0,0.030302333460967862,0.20031257439004324,0.0,0.0,0.03647260986143869,0.0,0.051829193982776064,0.0415174745822992,0.03728607252496202,0.03973581402462485,0.0,0.03296620807424585,0.08407666235010118,0.031493849520799616,0.0,0.0,0.09185185419786908,0.04648018960561137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04261490337702144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21691624178002505,0.0,0.18552056736963352,0.12289958974378695
mentalhealth,sunmel,2019/03/16,"loving someone with mental health problems is important Here’s a poem I wrote for my significant other. There are times I feel like there isn’t anything for me to say for him to feel better so I wrote him this to help him understand my silence 






There are days I can’t come up with what to say when you let your guard down. I love when you let me in. Words fly with the wind and I all I can do is be there. I’ll hear you out always, and there are days I can’t find the words you need to hear. But I need you to know this. You are not responsible for the well-being of anyone but your own. Like I’ve said, let life live through you. Let it all play it out like life is intended to. Take care of yourself, your experience here is what you make it.
There are days I know you are tired, yet you still find the energy to keep me company. This place is a ghost town and you make me feel alive. You are selfless. That is why you are so tired. You put everyone before yourself and you still keep the day going. Your heart and good intentions don’t go unrecognized. I see you, I see your potential.
People are careless and someone that cares this much isn’t heard of in your world.
Don’t be so afraid. Your heartache is your heartache, I will always feel for you, but only you will shape and mold from it. I cannot hurt from your past simply because it’s not mine. All I can do is be by your side meanwhile you shape and mold. Your battles will never alter my vision of you and meaning. You’re on the highest pedestal. Don’t be afraid to admit what hurts. Don’t belittle yourself for airing out. Not with me. It’s okay to be vulnerable.
The vision of yourself in your head is different from mine. I don’t see your faults
I see the universe failed you somehow
I see you’ve been trying to fix it since
I don’t see your flaws
I see what makes you different from everyone else I love what makes you different from everyone else
There are days I need you to understand that at the end of the day we are human. We love, feel, hurt, grow, everything. We are not our guilt or lows. We are people with blood flowing through our veins to our heart every single day. You can’t tell me you are incapable of getting a move on. You’re smart, that’s a good thing about us humans. God gave us a brain and you’ve occupied yours better than you think. Now what about your heart? Wall’s so high, too much time it’d take to break down. That is why you are so impatient.
Good things always take time
It always feels like you’re waiting so long, but did it ever occur to you that maybe that is why I’ve always said good things are in store for you?
We are human
I need you to understand what it’s like to speak from your heart Let me teach you how to speak with your heart",1.6465608465608454,3.635610684303355,2.573430335097001,95.31400793650795,79.72310405643739,5.9636684303350975,19.318342151675488,7.016131500887134,0.0631220458553794,2146,50,488,25,54,676,210,567,0.087,0.757,0.156,0.9915,3,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,10,50,0,3,27,32,1,3,15,1,60,18,9,7,5,76,113,24,1,5,9,0,6,5,0,3,5,9,0,3,33,25,0,4,16,1,1,7,17,12,0,0,8,22,98,20,63,91,7,52,0,5,7,4,85,23,0,2,26,320,131,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309893355854377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0388215299450212,0.0,0.04568900030586062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03384504775388241,0.0,0.04724422791677858,0.0,0.0,0.0982075134982581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061979727358415865,0.0,0.0,0.11321459071257366,0.0,0.0,0.047826370903806745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506448777786004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402268581850486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276123683081793,0.0,0.0491750705282966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0502218659800615,0.04677878386246763,0.1591579032639864,0.0498986379959409,0.05431012983462093,0.0,0.0,0.16843832321780772,0.0793283367041811,0.0,0.0,0.1014902607991535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029007397942102962,0.0,0.06310765574148519,0.18627331049955484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056980498959755724,0.05901615955508839,0.1251522618517731,0.328962887225458,0.03721451361395493,0.05866091805281956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17830893350567772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869911934288944,0.0,0.0,0.0610257097478613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838695977440615,0.07843215923895326,0.13562362627746238,0.0,0.04902600439569983,0.04913428193661616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004392526196652,0.0,0.14824262579656233,0.0,0.0557782435487576,0.060478576708615575,0.0,0.0,0.05595204564277851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900996923236707,0.08162855375535245,0.16467228457140706,0.04282116922658772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222617431474689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053001016511989865,0.07698245369507269,0.0,0.058007561939501615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312603826277016,0.0,0.05581387648169197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562625014959502,0.08830495480024217,0.0,0.0,0.3097009882346205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045927492668404984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408541917709166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867818371473976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523450445031858,0.0,0.048527745958025184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110656930114553,0.035575574471949915,0.0,0.0,0.09712411422784682,0.12762629881125956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03769507160532945,0.0,0.0,0.1733977598168383,0.13356970174435165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04991998999043379,0.0,0.15029702923057445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CassetteCop,2019/03/16,"I'm Constantly In Survival Mode. I've diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and PTSD. I just need to get this off my chest. 

At work, I'm very competitive and thinking about how I can one-up everyone. Going to store I'm thinking how I can get in and out for groceries fast. (Big crowds scare the shit out of me in the public.)

 I isolate myself because I feel like it's me against the world. I've been struggling on morals. What's right and what's wrong, etc. Glancing over my shoulder 24/7. I don't feel like love really exists anymore. I don't understand I'm programmed this way.

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mentalhealth,Ava-Phoenix,2019/03/16,"Just a question What is psychopathy, I can’t look it up because all I’m getting is that they are evil people who manipulate and are shallow and they kill people and I really want to know what it is.",6.970731707317071,5.414852048780492,7.946463414634148,74.60310975609757,65.09756097560975,11.126829268292685,35.134146341463406,10.125756701596842,3.3143073170731707,158,6,32,3,2,54,30,41,0.208,0.755,0.036000000000000004,-0.8593,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,1,9,11,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,11,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,24,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335697595782496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001844113973928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42390791880817097,0.0,0.2105737958704008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32175649349474417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5312674791318401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4292250157494229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454610353810651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22599670834754115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,circuspunk-,2019/03/16,"the pain-pleasure connection and self harm -will be discussing exercise as self harm-

Howdy folks! 

I recently have really gotten into exercising (which is fantastic for me). I am training for a 10K with the hopes of just getting stronger overall. There is a heavy bag in my gym and I have been practicing kickboxing/boxing with it. 
I tend to go so hard on it I walk away with bloody hands and huge bruises, even with wraps on. I crave the pain & the cuts that won’t heal. 

I would just stop point blank because I think I’m using it to self harm but the adrenaline is so good and the pain is so good and the workout is great. I feel like I can finally defend myself & that sense of safety is unbelievable. 

But something is telling me I’m wrong for enjoying the pain. 

Can anyone else relate? Am I self harming? Do I have to stop kickboxing all together? 

Are there any thoughts on the pain-pleasure connection and how it relates to self harm??

(For background I suffer from chronic pain and do have a sexual relationship to pain)

Cheers!!
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mentalhealth,ramoncg_,2019/03/16,"How to help someone in need? A friend of mind is showin signs of depression and I'm really worried about her. She's 20 years old and it's the first time she's going through all of this and I can see she's not handling it really well. Things are bad in her work life, her dating life, her social life, everything.

I've tried to help so many times and in so many different ways (trying to talk, to make her happy, to say that time will help, that I'm here for her and generally being there for her), but nothing seems to work. It looks like she's getting worse and worse as days pass. I've also recommended that she should see a therapist, but she said she tried it but she doesn't have the money.

Any ideas of how I can help her? I'm really worried.",2.732499999999998,3.972692634615385,3.8517948717948727,90.60153846153848,74.57692307692308,7.507692307692308,21.333333333333336,8.07648339933343,0.7078948717948719,585,13,133,9,12,190,87,156,0.108,0.764,0.128,-0.1405,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,9,6,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,3,1,21,21,15,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,2,3,2,0,0,9,6,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,2,1,1,1,5,18,4,18,17,1,14,0,1,3,0,25,3,0,1,9,78,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139512358847573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622257368821262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586561356437194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177003382265892,0.0,0.1092053405349843,0.0,0.0,0.1324701402502629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395203233180705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078487924113168,0.0,0.0,0.09795880499502156,0.0,0.066243330097086,0.0,0.07205853622721381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497191854271026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399427021551035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431321800509692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686697765030485,0.061943926596888264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647293393460924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463431651729654,0.25709337793525744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280232794514131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401429702930952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165987205108066,0.0,0.13304635960830402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436776612007289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206077596057162,0.10082969664697576,0.0,0.0,0.2020728331438333,0.11542622743876302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924797574772073,0.10743003375053753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191021180510676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721471389508484,0.08423464436830126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217994448183141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582493345010561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064119783753266,0.0,0.0,0.11400079324522118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18461145662534698,0.25752586310188186,0.2584227586524783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816495744909925
mentalhealth,username2804,2019/03/16,"Suicidal Fantasies I don't really know why but I have daily suicidal/self-harm fantasies. With the self-harm the only was is laying in my floor and putting like 50 cuts on my arms and chest and feeling so absolutely...numb. And the suicide ones are like slitting my wrist and smearing blood on the person that just upset me, hanging myself in the middle of gym class, drop down a flight of stairs, jump in front of a truck etc. Point is I have very intrusive thoughts of suicide everyday, Just weird shit, the only time I don't think about is when im with my girlfriend or willingly talking to people. ",6.264162561576357,6.642797879310348,6.131477832512318,80.61844827586208,65.89655172413794,9.042364532019707,32.08866995073892,8.841846274778883,2.5389325123152715,478,18,90,7,7,150,79,116,0.236,0.701,0.063,-0.9771,0,0,0,0,0,3,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,2,1,8,0,10,5,5,0,0,15,14,9,3,0,4,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,7,0,0,4,3,0,4,2,4,0,1,2,1,10,2,14,11,1,18,0,0,0,0,3,10,1,1,5,56,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037860927538618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923909857661038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973737907066709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042059383463894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853989926620684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381883447964738,0.2779403970930772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266781451104339,0.15954796519886294,0.0,0.0,0.172733692420801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18368856810227016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705797881614148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3812429602242981,0.0,0.18756404969471066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5996127609678921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686701303494368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708246669287888,0.0,0.14506282411956956,0.10654811189929662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507668298802367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488041940875384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LDawg618,2019/03/16,"If you feel like you can't function and are about to lose your mind, what do you do? Say that you are having a lot of trouble handling your job, can barely keep yourself fed and showered, don't like doing the activities you used to like, are hanging on by a thread, but you can't tell anyone you know because you don't want to worry them and you can't tell a hotline or anything because you don't want the police showing up at your house, what do you do? Just something I was wondering about and can't think of an answer to. ",10.08435779816514,5.446069339449544,9.435665137614679,75.9487270642202,62.02752293577982,11.633944954128443,40.0940366972477,7.1686216300943375,3.0621174311926604,414,14,88,2,4,133,63,109,0.061,0.856,0.083,0.5192,2,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,14,1,1,3,5,0,0,6,0,18,1,0,1,0,19,27,7,0,3,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,4,1,1,5,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,2,2,16,3,12,25,1,4,0,1,0,0,18,3,0,4,3,64,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256430806186733,0.0,0.17955270509878574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26601456970936016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032398890177213,0.1558757835679319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25176326378695896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165210244964333,0.19393829751414465,0.0,0.0,0.11991213631781207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197914878032667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441000581715328,0.0,0.18549829220937047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22031083733546328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351434045248396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679741881712359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814173214900661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980806297183418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884470770532929,0.0,0.0,0.2573895577721922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366189680640583,0.0,0.22158367907238932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Isblur,2019/03/16,"Making huge progress but it's getting harder A little backstory, Im a 29 year old male who was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 a year ago. A month later I took my first medication and it really helped with the swings of bipolar. I've been in counselling for 6 months, and have discovered I also suffer from anxiety brought on from traumas and the instability of hypomania and depressed all these years.

These days, I'm completely sober, I wait caffeine, sugary drinks, I sleep well, I meditate, excersize regularly, eat fairly clean and keep on top of my intolerances. 

Despite all this, I still struggle in the mornings. I still have mad anxiety daily. I'm very tired of existing. It's been a struggle getting here, but after all the triumphs, I'm left with the pain from my childhood and can't seem to move forward. 

On paper I'm a pretty swell human being. People get excited to see me. I'm fairly fit. I dress well and keep a very clean, handsome appearance (their words, not mine). I'm generally charismatic, funny and talkative. I've been able to control a room and make a large table laugh.

I don't feel like that anymore. I can't go to large public spaces. I don't have a relationship with my family anymore. I don't keep in touch with my friends. I struggle with dating.  I'm not me and I feel exhausted trying to find me again.

I don't know what to do. I'm tired.",2.260414567996904,4.8133070936329645,4.0433862843859,82.47202247191012,81.05992509363296,7.1284515045847865,25.686297300787807,8.216663640201805,1.994692728916441,1082,44,202,23,29,363,148,267,0.17,0.657,0.173,-0.0712,0,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,1,5,7,17,1,3,15,0,15,11,1,3,3,38,41,13,0,0,4,0,3,1,1,0,8,0,3,2,9,16,2,5,5,1,0,6,8,9,2,1,6,4,25,8,27,34,3,35,0,2,1,0,8,14,0,2,18,116,34,2,0.1136880173032957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077756779692863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091626636309624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394204411846764,0.0,0.22549592856664905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919972313746055,0.0,0.12751077849397358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331936598561628,0.0,0.09791932271464494,0.11539094444888122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137097547700754,0.0,0.11633122394590588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107174944739116,0.0,0.11496815498251345,0.08121874227741441,0.0,0.0,0.10390878818312056,0.09670296944063277,0.0,0.0,0.08783508015320589,0.0,0.17819189022329934,0.0,0.06461152017484982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620268155784564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280256764927705,0.0,0.0,0.3031534002840904,0.0,0.0,0.062479961111381876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352236344667995,0.0,0.0,0.055542222650822405,0.11394526025169295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517752687037442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145287168470369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181489381529076,0.12083237042405225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192964497768378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097206601191385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881695654175433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156615851774459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283145503255008,0.0,0.0,0.1220583840309892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059463055350683,0.1034973011296042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377012142974922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18158279495042148,0.0,0.0,0.3565542000011309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613353034143633,0.0,0.0,0.1263115703486138,0.07718670107148662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18760904129515768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20443836187531986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21963406720577974
mentalhealth,MiddleAcanthaceae1,2019/03/16,"I Might Have Depression But I Have No Idea My dads side of the family has really bad issues with depression and anxiety; my aunt killed herself when i was really young. I feel really insecure about everything and i feel bad talking about it to everyone because whenever I get sad i think that since other people have far worse problems than i do, including my girlfriend, theyll pretend to care about my problems but on the inside theyre thinking wow just shut up these arent even problems. I mostly hate the quality of my life because i feel like its way too routine and i dont have any hobbies or anything like that. if it werent for the genetic link i would say im just a sad fuck but because of it i can never be sure.

I have no idea anymore and i dont even like to say im depressed because if im not people will just laugh at me

if anyone could just give me advice please do",2.13502112447189,4.192520812154702,3.8827949301267455,86.1884562885928,78.4475138121547,7.352746181345466,25.56418589535261,8.313332769828598,1.7892766330841725,701,27,141,14,17,235,105,181,0.258,0.622,0.12,-0.9703,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,11,21,3,1,5,0,19,2,0,0,2,34,29,12,1,8,12,2,3,3,1,4,1,2,0,0,8,5,0,0,8,1,0,0,7,14,0,0,1,5,24,7,15,22,1,10,0,5,0,1,9,6,1,6,6,94,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737245124482524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472146295378257,0.0,0.08405710617207983,0.0,0.10897040623478636,0.07682992595207783,0.0,0.09042102450096563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348868941524316,0.2679247846705547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202892613274468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877294112619395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839157702476091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25755465330211874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514803793211767,0.0,0.0,0.10499405819208553,0.09875212717703166,0.0,0.10358410762135208,0.0,0.16667431601283395,0.07849755333593414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015813310042534,0.0574072232369617,0.10540591387639013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848272794610574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480799501032463,0.3560644070643075,0.11468509023366437,0.0,0.0,0.1215647929679576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761076128535183,0.16104393380178034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656421603205888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474543031970481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235247620013562,0.0,0.0,0.12061410566931845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315417985198135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111738325037244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747603236686524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089301389912613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355962254555154,0.0,0.0,0.08831654855888907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14081200592832793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721680662229593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197605082452593,0.07805486294641209,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,atheista,2019/03/16,"Things feeling slow on Abilify? Obviously I will talk to my psychiatrist about this next week, but I was just wondering if any one had experienced anything similar...

I'm a musician and playing a gig has always been a fantastic way for me to get a huge dopamine hit, a natural high.  My psych put me on 5mg of Abilify a week and a half ago and I had my first gig last night.

It was dreadful.

Every song felt SO slow (which is impossible because we play to a click) and I did not get my usual buzz at all. The gig dragged and I was exhausted afterwards. Not in the usual good way, just totally depleted. 

I'm on Abilify as a temporary measure until May (at least) when my psych will hopefully decide on an ADHD diagnosis and move me on to Vyvanse.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? I assume it's how abilify works... boosting dopamine when it's low and cutting it when it's high?",4.156445623342176,5.575640586206903,6.109310344827584,75.10133952254644,71.29885057471266,10.41131741821397,33.49955791335102,10.560738912317856,3.918884703801945,698,35,133,22,13,243,106,174,0.071,0.77,0.159,0.9508,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,2,8,8,1,1,12,0,13,1,0,1,3,25,22,16,0,2,6,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,8,8,0,0,5,3,0,2,2,4,0,3,8,6,15,4,17,10,3,32,0,1,1,0,2,12,0,5,16,89,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987208483504508,0.0,0.14657448059167202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758602499133013,0.0,0.0,0.1124449606273436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561789152906005,0.1694225596268573,0.27214104590494914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079698212682324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813029307700433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931610542221184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360688777040684,0.0,0.15876375247907287,0.0,0.0,0.14064823975504856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277908385166346,0.0,0.0,0.13868932676401696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494067168414515,0.0,0.16423174386998365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478386588905497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17574289914650768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585361913219874,0.1551715547924772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204672525531616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662243277381245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329035919918969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985245353151407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642235092602329,0.0,0.0,0.2624972798713183,0.26527063700269005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931707966882107,0.12037815089270283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RoseTWTG,2019/03/16,"Violent thoughts? Help? For a while I’ve had issues with sporadically thinking about killing others or myself, but very violently and not caring in the moment. I’ve also had issues with being very unempathetic/uncaring at times, which majorly interferes with my social life, which obviously affects my happiness which in turn hurts my grades which affects my happiness and friendships and creates an endless circle of events. Often when I’m unempathetic it’s only in certain moments and I become bitter and really tiring to be around for me and my friends. Is any of this normal? How can I fix these things or do I need a therapist? I’m a minor so wether or not I can get therapy isn’t up to me, I’m not comfortable talking to parents for many reasons so I can’t do much so I’m turning to Reddit. 

My parents would freak out and probably just call me crazy and attention seeking (it’s happened before with something like this) when it comes to the violent thoughts. When I get the thoughts I can’t really stop them and I usually for some reason I don’t care until a little after when I realize how messed up they are, they are usually about family members or myself. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. I don’t know if I need therapy but if I do I can’t really get it as I am still a minor. Pleas tell me if I posted this in the wrong sub.",4.0525324675324645,5.810509621212122,5.895432900432901,75.18636363636367,72.10606060606061,8.967965367965366,29.61688311688312,9.48565724429506,2.952851948051948,1076,45,193,26,21,371,139,264,0.168,0.6940000000000001,0.138,-0.8719,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,0,16,18,5,0,10,0,21,2,0,6,2,53,41,32,1,7,14,2,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,14,16,0,2,9,0,0,1,9,9,0,0,5,1,31,9,29,33,3,27,0,1,0,0,12,10,0,10,16,143,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050346221858824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595696299896745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618909300359684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568582665230986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187104604547527,0.09146314558880984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975579522349407,0.0,0.2191794225394489,0.0,0.0,0.09259015371496344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132876247430228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304384943160281,0.0,0.16847187337707764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850431158625345,0.0,0.0,0.09505000980790283,0.2288428831185727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440919505631746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506658530324047,0.0,0.0,0.22437608499000003,0.0,0.0,0.1189179529056324,0.0,0.059071802222709274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592093590727733,0.05251250373844061,0.10772977060283374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897450090475642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901498897898457,0.15939984419607292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531400699835528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174837222044082,0.0,0.0,0.23870220885325324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294241221194422,0.0,0.11588869108371536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20657592758126106,0.22102817057033688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956901156438828,0.0,0.08274840501442622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858389054631154,0.08986357688129526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863936252092514,0.09394799088417996,0.0,0.24584049724343784,0.1248001803966598,0.07140929418444136,0.06887304737131518,0.0,0.2559969662309362,0.06267627737476401,0.12353998852195792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23382902293270294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23676251995766506,0.1773753373953491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635536810697842,0.11751967956477205,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jaynehaz,2019/03/16,"Anonymously anonymous I am a 20 something white woman. I am a millennial by default. I am the stereotypical mom you see in Target, wearing leggings and trying to figure out how to use a coupon app. I make some sort of frozen lasagna more than once a week, which we eat off paper plates. My kids sometimes have suckers for breakfast. I spend hours a day on my laptop trying to make my #sidehussle profitable. I log onto Amazon multiple times a day, hoping that Prime shipping saves my butt before we run out of something. I time my errands and doctors appointments around less busy times of the day. I have to email my doctors office so often they need an extra receptionist just for me. I have a fancy pill organizer that I procrastinat refilling and sometimes I accidentally take my PM meds instead of my AM ones. I make lists to remind me of things but then also forget I made said list. I hate painting but I'm always starting painting projects around our house. I believe in my heart of hearts that I can make it to something at 11 on a Saturday with 3+ people in tow. I think I can buy all our groceries for the with $40. I am a living example of every adverse reaction you can have with any type of skincare item. I can tell you my best friends childhood phone number but not my online banking password. I set goals for myself but then detroy(not in a ""cool"" way) them before 8am. I hate that I ever thought I was mature at 16, 18, 20 or 25. I am the most friendly antisocial person you'll ever talk to. I literally HAVE to have long moments of silence multiple times a day or my brain just shuts down(more). I am one of the least qualified person to be a mother. I spend everyday detroying myself for being me. I have never, that I can ever remember not been miserable inside my own mind. I am only now beginning to understand what is more of my illness and what is more me. I don't recognize myself. I don't know myself. I cling to the tiny bit of me left each time a wave tries to sweep me away. I am a anomaly. There aren't resources available to give me answers and repair. My biggest fear is this will always be me.",3.571764705882352,5.317722863961811,4.930734943141935,81.66122385230946,73.34367541766109,7.3160466095746175,28.313982872385232,8.027739517013583,1.963441611680472,1676,67,314,25,34,558,234,419,0.069,0.86,0.071,-0.0808,0,0,3,0,0,0,45.0,4,4,2,2,14,13,3,2,21,1,34,12,6,7,5,53,55,16,0,2,10,2,0,0,2,2,4,1,1,4,11,15,2,0,7,0,6,1,6,6,0,2,5,4,72,7,50,45,14,46,0,1,2,1,24,18,1,7,25,230,83,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706807304395641,0.16037724031144732,0.0,0.0,0.06553577106933313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158173161143794,0.0,0.0,0.09054398432320536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400971228248468,0.1085774243823284,0.10113570648580623,0.0,0.10521247132712404,0.0,0.0,0.10758221373949553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486059966760656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972801651920476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861187247340676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615200042274615,0.08119695485046878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084444761211248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148912414551523,0.0,0.0,0.09244810751938384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19029336264602226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284008475299969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571842000328218,0.09490629242951172,0.11119951120475986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052963131894185146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470767123951064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509760059432492,0.0852855449117093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118882967094842,0.25731429506819703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704676012674956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730751443366006,0.11286887142637395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145807859594683,0.07432746765195859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263226165064486,0.130607338815951,0.07329469657490285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681170715483609,0.16829535858333974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916986704741624,0.0,0.09167115042618988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679542819107618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22257394512644524,0.19062730849536771,0.0,0.06821208379649177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245920453646826,0.07745957960658477,0.08423274126008741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402479227063906,0.061750821113074325,0.0,0.07650802682405157,0.2809743244942012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962893073207183,0.0,0.0,0.10032589500697882,0.0,0.08323383857155628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649503163144017,0.07730322302143687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,d4ydreamr,2019/03/16,"Am I a narcissistic sociopath? My ex keeps telling me I’m a narcissistic sociopath. I suffer from depression and anxiety and have always been open about those diagnoses with him, but since I left him, taking our infant daughter, he has become cruel about my mental health. He decided a couple years ago that I have borderline personality disorder and dragged those accusations through our divorce, and beyond. He insists that I’m a narcissistic sociopath. I can usually brush it off but sometimes I struggle and start believing it. 

I have been in counseling for two years and none of my therapists have suggested that I have a personality disorder but when he gets on me I wonder ",6.9026666666666685,9.027464600000002,7.506666666666664,64.99166666666667,65.5,11.333333333333336,37.5,11.20814326018867,5.10225,552,29,84,18,9,182,73,120,0.211,0.789,0.0,-0.9734,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,2,0,0,0,4,4,1,1,5,0,10,2,0,0,0,14,17,10,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,7,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,1,18,0,11,15,1,12,0,2,0,0,16,6,0,1,6,63,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587561810040113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902070127743006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700655435504944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19779544655790532,0.0,0.20177780703708495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981642991988098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542535512664966,0.1817768186275746,0.0,0.0,0.41051488312791096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356931506404537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036873415195052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918713241311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19458634612912373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804848058993959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127562528089684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481485530059946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712871938338906,0.0,0.12676377948900866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722811815681706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465653172557446,0.0,0.15653620362493026,0.0,0.0,0.2079421418929909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494898644490087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19724693251043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942199941087939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306615548824588
mentalhealth,gooberFlooberMcgee,2019/03/16,"Chronic fatigue syndrome How do you help someone who has been diagnosed? My girlfriend has been having trouble sleeping, and went to the doctors. When she got home she was in tears and told me she was diagnosed with fatigue syndrome. What is it? What can I do for her? And what is the worst things I can do? I read about it on the internet, but didnt find much. What is your experiences?

",1.8278666666666687,4.481718453333336,2.6066666666666656,91.21666666666668,84.46666666666667,5.466666666666668,27.0,6.937597516519254,1.3554000000000008,304,14,60,4,9,95,52,75,0.128,0.848,0.024,-0.7149,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,16,7,1,1,0,7,19,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,1,0,8,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,8,0,11,0,6,11,2,4,0,2,0,0,10,2,0,0,1,52,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5325465983037979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685198590604589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256622445586997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23977735837540085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098201956068896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17584342965160518,0.0,0.26315208764044423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285278048695356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624146603679293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26253312790443323,0.0,0.22228293724232387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742894748709403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506806157799957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24319520710417045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beefyjon,2019/03/16,"Anger/resentment towards parents keeping me awake at night, never expressed anger publicly before, what do I do? I'm mid-twenties, male, living at home with my parents. For as long as I can remember, my parents have been dominating forces in my life, e.g. telling me what I cannot do, what I shouldn't feel, etc. If I expressed an opinion and they could hear it they'd swoop in and yell over it, it would always be a bad opinion to express. For a short time since I've moved back in I've taken to sharing as little as possible with them, hopefully moving out one day and leaving for good.

But recently I've been feeling waves of anger out of nowhere, especially at night when I'm trying to sleep, just over how they treated me over the years. It's becoming a real pain and is interrupting my sleep. How can I manage this? Especially as I don't want to be angry with them because my family would always laugh at me and bully me about that kind of thing when I was a kid.",5.226271477663231,5.555065355670107,5.921185567010308,81.4052147766323,68.12371134020619,8.73470790378007,31.115120274914087,8.59863814320734,2.28512852233677,765,29,153,11,12,250,114,194,0.098,0.8,0.102,0.1705,3,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,5,0,7,10,2,0,6,0,19,4,2,2,1,29,28,16,0,7,3,3,2,0,0,3,2,2,1,2,10,10,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,4,0,1,4,4,23,6,32,17,1,28,0,0,0,0,17,15,0,4,11,105,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219151382613383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025376292563318,0.11134136556793292,0.08128869275207692,0.14727418235887962,0.1134707078968612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646882357167982,0.0,0.0,0.08599947538975868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872007953402444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571015718137188,0.0,0.13485115265405168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118473374245246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029471718989154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376054498967938,0.132446264619189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852727237243105,0.0,0.13886311243608435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119799707384956,0.0,0.0,0.09418878266357128,0.0,0.13365135490557187,0.11775016058964967,0.11801022049027393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834590923387985,0.0,0.0,0.10284745035248133,0.0,0.0,0.25027917652370074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036115596889477,0.0,0.1418934012042712,0.0,0.4442069279503911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033166429708802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178106544036146,0.0,0.0,0.1316666657439629,0.0,0.15105912841967065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030818651945844,0.0,0.26689185391775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165534485227678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859156449693689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775723780622534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905356410271771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865306288372251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894554930305017,0.0,0.0,0.08587278546626444
mentalhealth,Puger1243,2019/03/16,"I’ve been having mental breakdowns and cannot pinpoint possible mental issues. Recently, I’ve had a lot of mental breakdowns. These have happened a lot in recent years, but have been somewhat scattered in when they occur. The most recent one, which happened today, occurred after playing a game with my older brother. Long story short, I got annoyed by him playing donkey kong (we were playing smash bros.), threw my controller nearly breaking it, storming to my room, and hitting random things and bashing my head into walls and similar objects. Whenever someone tried to calm me down, I would just yell what I remember to be random thoughts in my head (although I can’t remember exactly what I yelled). After what I think was about 10 minutes, I stopped bashing stuff in and started to cry excessively into my bed. I began to say that I wanted to die which, when I was asked  why I was thinking that in the moment, I couldn’t explain. I didn’t get up until about another 10 minutes later where my brother attempted to cheer me up. I was still watery from how much I was crying, but my mood was starting to better. Despite my mood being better there was still some aftermath, as I still feel tired, any trigger could easily make me begin to cry, and other similar things. Please help me, I want to be happy.",8.794876543209874,7.830299403292179,8.477870370370372,70.34791666666666,61.13991769547325,10.239917695473252,38.768518518518526,9.075114841892004,3.7005530864197524,1037,45,167,13,12,333,148,243,0.104,0.752,0.14400000000000002,0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,1,4,11,11,1,0,5,0,23,3,2,4,1,38,42,14,1,5,3,3,1,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,13,10,0,2,7,4,0,1,4,1,0,1,16,4,33,8,31,19,6,40,0,0,0,0,11,15,0,7,23,130,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502047610957227,0.1156787405347936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031330611165089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19513579087910066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373176490358485,0.08808047837278057,0.0,0.3635396244759855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449335860513768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05578043241406283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057636949935377976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882319152859503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510886464923727,0.11743627170202173,0.0,0.0,0.2264375572322157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394427663998394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514402598514993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976285481980802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875779702041332,0.0,0.0,0.07363856643035731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335258053753936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810969131992656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475478339158394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109676758389094,0.0,0.12436772063090484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267791222470708,0.0,0.2499390872826183,0.0,0.0,0.08772983135243582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347264800487556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616823970606944,0.0,0.2643018883662835,0.09223134481555408,0.0,0.0,0.12628847946664173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658163993762502,0.14137549385537435,0.0,0.08758069837115416,0.0,0.12679507844351076,0.10456919648133386,0.0,0.0,0.07489913294750875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013761534837567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954543741437748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836721538133128,0.0,0.0,0.07104160419298221
mentalhealth,Alastair_101,2019/03/16,"Why my ex triggers anxiety and panic whenever I see her? I've suffered from anxiety, depression and emotional instability for years. Lately, I finally learned how to deal with it and eventually, little dose per time, stopped taking meds. 

Now I can think propperly and realized that whenever I see that ex (4 months relationship, break up due to her infidelity), what I actually feel, is fear, triggering anxiety and panic, previously I thought it was just a little bit of anger. I usually see her around because she used to study in my school and still has friends here.

But I don't understand why it happens, I let all my anger towards her go months ago, we broke up 2 years ago and I even have a gf now.

Does anyone know why could that be happening?
Sorry for any kind of mistake, I'm a non-native speaker and still haven't got used to write in English.",7.2240740740740765,7.091132765432099,7.89172839506173,70.5427777777778,63.93827160493828,12.138271604938273,37.753086419753096,11.645159339076185,4.562316049382716,676,32,125,20,9,226,107,162,0.223,0.75,0.028,-0.9835,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,0,9,11,2,3,3,0,10,1,0,5,1,30,26,10,0,2,2,2,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,7,11,0,1,7,0,0,1,2,9,0,0,3,5,19,2,16,20,2,26,0,3,3,0,13,8,0,0,16,73,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.11613334567166145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098446985788766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080928618373351,0.0,0.27311933672294875,0.0,0.0,0.08321223262015595,0.0,0.0,0.10594116961506664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254536312002148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992446416998568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501714451880726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269065402561745,0.10250027284555288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414354128331446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338664889680507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860278496363662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339155926527468,0.06017334948587715,0.0,0.0,0.13036599298236265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194426014721703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763423462586463,0.0,0.09518050765363527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21047441535020067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239271364146119,0.06540295504248166,0.0,0.13424471041230154,0.0,0.0,0.1216923858215864,0.0,0.0,0.23855190051287534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218958527605093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18997998157639104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792573780718694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776862951475976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044110627212347,0.2844987309748117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321822690843896,0.0,0.0,0.19007776514872285,0.09949490717357004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947820733450468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625467061055989,0.0,0.09447800497824793,0.06939374789882267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389014331417535,0.0,0.20556711083418167,0.13106903688290442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221550355219034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327279091023854
mentalhealth,poeschildbride,2019/03/16,"my untreated depression (for almost 8 years) my depression is in a bad place and it has gone untreated since i was 12..ill he 20 this year. i feel like no matter how hard i try, im not helping anyone and i cant help people around me be happy and i feel like a disappointment and a burden. i want to die. i have no medical inurance and dont make a lot of money so i can afford therapy or to even see a doctor. idk what to do. i dont think im looking for advice so much as someone to just hear what im going through. are any of you in the same situation? what helps you feel better on a day to day basis?",0.11726431463273455,1.8203706165413536,3.393984962406016,88.9515211104685,83.4360902255639,6.7990746096009245,20.0052053209948,7.882392219407189,0.7573891266628099,464,13,108,9,13,169,88,133,0.233,0.649,0.118,-0.9442,1,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,2,0,1,6,9,0,0,7,0,11,2,0,2,0,20,22,10,1,1,3,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,1,2,6,5,0,0,2,7,14,4,15,19,3,11,0,3,2,0,7,5,0,3,6,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333181581870725,0.0,0.0,0.136615287333422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277731580633876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539527227729024,0.0,0.0,0.12145193564192258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391364282641794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206615569132598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759725771789843,0.0,0.2350145195895053,0.0,0.14159316282560733,0.0,0.0,0.13964224338633027,0.0,0.0,0.3197907062068988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901109588969632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20694985138464012,0.1949317373611248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753651145081361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523264356392518,0.12221479517144995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376691892844593,0.0,0.2743391615861947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44210456588671104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330595444635476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456713241011884,0.0,0.0,0.11598820403727304,0.0,0.0,0.09106831744518327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743922355063065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029200448979136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458362590572213,0.0,0.14254067712419505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087173245620132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285659463499935,0.1533534286328444,0.0,0.0,0.11559699208702508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560199942562104,0.0,0.0,0.08741905890826235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262725153786804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047015470699956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571334359367635
mentalhealth,D-Pack,2019/03/16,"How do I help my brother, who I believe has severe anxiety but refuses to communicate with anyone Hi everyone

My brother has always been quite shy, however did have friends at school and managed to get through university in a different city by himself. However he's never been very social and is incredibly private.

Since graduating, he's spent his life in his room at our parents house on his computer. They've been encouraging him to get a job, and have been helping him to do so, however he refuses to follow through on anything. It's like he's happy to send off applications into the void, but as soon as someone replies it becomes real and he panics, with the easiest option just to ignore it.

I think we're coming to realise he's had a problem for quite a long time, he never shares his hopes or dreams or likes, I think because it creates the possibility of him failing or even just the possibility of us encouraging him to do something new.

It is incredibly difficult to get information out of him, he has become skilled at not answering questions and shutting down conversations. I believe he pretends to dislike a lot of things because it's easier than saying he's afraid of being out of his comfort zone.

It's gotten to the point where I don't even know my own brother any more because he refuses to share anything about himself.

I truly believe he needs to see a therapist to try and build some confidence or potentially even a diagnosis. However he flatly refuses. I don't believe coercing him to go would work because as I said, he is an expert of avoiding conversation no matter how awkward it gets. 

Do any of you have experience of helping someone see they need help? I really don't see how he can continue through life being this afraid of everything and it doesn't seem right to let him try. He can't stay in our parents house forever.

I'm not sure I've properly explained his behaviour, but in difficult situations he freezes like a deer in headlamps and confuses himself. I also believe part of his issue in applying for jobs is a crippling lack of self belief.

Thank you ",7.599393939393941,7.5596730808080865,8.474444444444442,66.36500000000001,63.141414141414145,11.745454545454544,40.97979797979798,11.299434782280676,4.9687919191919185,1684,91,284,45,22,572,203,396,0.126,0.713,0.161,0.9672,9,1,1,0,0,0,29.0,3,2,1,5,13,24,0,6,15,0,30,2,0,3,3,58,53,23,0,6,11,5,1,3,1,1,2,2,1,1,12,14,0,6,9,2,1,4,10,11,0,0,9,6,37,13,58,40,6,33,1,1,3,0,70,21,0,11,10,190,49,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582861483817977,0.06849406741525088,0.0,0.0,0.11195632280531148,0.0,0.0629720306634154,0.0,0.0,0.05755773275156122,0.0,0.13547921851688832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20071792289903045,0.1818245993319414,0.0,0.4637135176397396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709085262445045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600340461624859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631081614328504,0.0,0.0,0.07865711006530643,0.07398091920912564,0.0805215029688598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359765850473849,0.0,0.1720282596728389,0.0,0.04678246309316017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876276306519349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207005269606652,0.0,0.0,0.08175903139191437,0.0,0.189964780593824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591722160939319,0.16337319549217527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452390915249364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417437677693236,0.11628540315121012,0.12064730751926887,0.0,0.0,0.07284766655648793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998269296727197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220735421861658,0.12697538803564884,0.07950195715648738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965808813791459,0.18280585096767907,0.08914093675602848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781586448027325,0.1855993643279181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876594036371566,0.0,0.0,0.09221351446896653,0.17510783172971867,0.0,0.09369439696707628,0.052734169508175464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029799023174832,0.07830200775535955,0.06546152349262158,0.0,0.08330886924711714,0.19678719594455507,0.07493800884477714,0.0858742440779887,0.09299441164791898,0.0,0.06809320376350507,0.09252739104436887,0.0,0.0839114832449213,0.13949330231144502,0.06337139764039591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773862240925867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758249151570616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578613426340168,0.0,0.09557600362364777,0.05468754081958814,0.1054904024050379,0.0,0.0,0.047999514860056436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177523712141953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901682400970267,0.0,0.0,0.06791987734216992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059927519405314565,0.0,0.0,0.05847540376690712,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brucewillischugswine,2019/03/16,"I just found out my psychiatrist was murdered and stuffed in he trunk of a car I swear to god this is true, and it is absolutely devestating to my community and myself. https://www.kion546.com/news/klas-las-vegas-chomp-psychiatrist-found-murdered-in-las-vegas/1060065508.  My psychiatrist was found murdered and stuffed in a car trunk in the lake mead recreation area last week. I just recueved the news and I have no idea how to cope. Dr Burchard wore red bow ties and white suits. He taught me how to cope with my mental trauma and depression. He performed a wonderful magic trick every single time I visited him, and upon turning 21 presented me with a VIP guest  membership card to the Magic Castle in Los Angeles, where I also used to visit with my less savory boss, and recieving it in that different light was life changing.
    He was one of the kindest people I ever knew and I don't know who could ever replace him as a psychiatrist. I'm really hurting tonight. Advice would help. ",9.317823529411765,10.2324169,8.254117647058822,66.16352941176473,59.411764705882355,10.564705882352943,34.05882352941177,10.355215969177356,3.558223529411764,803,29,127,16,10,248,108,170,0.127,0.7879999999999999,0.085,-0.7622,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,3,0,9,0,10,2,0,4,3,32,20,14,2,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,5,14,0,0,6,0,0,4,2,6,0,1,9,3,18,1,19,9,2,20,1,2,2,0,11,9,0,1,7,83,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471825524163376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298381132338525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18914340595094825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275477081278354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15399750258142533,0.0,0.0,0.18680469897547186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234640533996725,0.1506440944196319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5881246959832747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198437889946798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914057727100292,0.2018399297955848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826209685474407,0.14574333209860582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628953369829232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801852154079845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115740249570076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395525348832485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454186848360047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425790658417128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447967756458975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154423109336711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342008329288927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389760429217187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701218337677864,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BlobblesDev,2019/03/16,"My Sleep Is going away quickly As you can probably tell from the title, I'm losing sleep. Someone said it might be mild insomnia, but I don't really know.  
I had a **panic attack** while sleeping, and waking up to it.  
Also, my same friend as last post suggested it's a state of lucid dreaming, were I can feel what happens in the dreams because my brain doesn't know whats real and whats not pretty much.

Send help.  
",1.9310714285714283,3.990786869047625,3.676428571428573,87.40607142857145,79.11904761904762,6.104761904761905,21.214285714285715,7.1686216300943375,0.7002428571428571,323,9,64,4,8,108,66,84,0.062,0.8029999999999999,0.135,0.7997,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,1,1,4,0,9,6,5,0,0,10,16,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,2,0,2,3,3,0,0,3,2,7,1,8,11,2,10,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,1,3,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479202262607423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21042977098284932,0.17378515017494553,0.0,0.0,0.11275583058672704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20648739185293075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352625321125382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290715456795816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512256019340582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16356812137534055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123981311030687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20330905247357192,0.15077501753860695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693381445588624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962236530158526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597403444677145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21702212421123776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771498709930027,0.18818071323778526,0.1994286536899909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21053604777804796,0.11849634546460927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594857088084298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.55530993880865,0.0,0.15672425198744788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167169689902827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Toopa01,2019/03/16,"Need help, Im really broken in my brain! So my problem in short is that I miss my ex like ALOT (more info under here)

So I feel like you guys/girls need to know my story with her, so if you can help then you got the info needed.

So when i was young (like 6-7 years) I fell in love with this girl Emma (not real name) and I've had that crush all the way till 8 grade (15-16 years) I said that i liked her and luckly enough she said the same to me. So we where together for a year'ish and then i fucked up, I ""fell in love"" with another girl at school, kissed the ""new"" girl WHILE i was together with Emma, she still love me after that, but I broke up with Emma because I though that i liked the other girl. 

Years go bye and i break up with my girl because i keep thinking about Emma. And now long after the break up did my brain break. I think about Emma all the time, I dream about Emma all the time, I cry over I dont have her and i feel like she is the only girl I want in my life. Cut my self a while ago because the feelings to her.

So pls help me WHAT SHOUD I DOO TO GET THIS FEELING AWAY OR NUMBED!?!",-0.09796143250688516,1.6014297479338853,1.7515909090909076,100.46405303030303,84.16528925619834,4.694490358126721,14.62878787878788,5.46131890053228,-1.1578269972451791,837,11,213,4,24,275,123,242,0.094,0.75,0.156,0.9068,0,1,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,3,0,0,15,17,2,0,13,0,9,9,2,0,3,40,31,22,0,6,4,1,4,6,0,0,2,2,0,7,9,13,0,1,9,1,0,3,2,6,0,0,7,6,43,11,30,24,7,41,0,2,0,5,29,15,1,4,26,136,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339165377384364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223040533226684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095842911488106,0.0,0.0,0.21330247875557412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26041090904017106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812025618323095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669768310019312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051718925060673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359006658887017,0.16665097729713993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782901738705276,0.06093801303215419,0.0,0.06628748906880623,0.0,0.09328525554484486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23453794650442095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598796373531868,0.0,0.0,0.1036723154690362,0.0,0.0,0.06410063914271293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238415509352,0.3418976492297474,0.0,0.0,0.10322006541073384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158083106765959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594545495758325,0.0,0.11264873133047705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870768642626865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160584684172838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327584292087328,0.07472064217449961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22189697335144565,0.0,0.0,0.11804286038885965,0.0,0.0,0.12167781769583505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314645053069537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947254663276344,0.11459525004674212,0.0,0.13602393316734893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879551840411574,0.09258101330966986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004415887371469
mentalhealth,EG153,2019/03/16,Help Can someone help me. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’m going crazy. I don’t know if I’m causing my own symptoms. I’m tired of feeling this way ,-1.999166666666668,-0.1473159166666651,0.9846666666666692,100.82700000000004,97.05555555555556,2.8800000000000003,18.31111111111111,3.1291,-0.9550488888888884,121,4,30,0,5,42,24,36,0.139,0.55,0.312,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,6,11,1,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,2,1,11,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,13,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902806220338599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42863265927097177,0.4037408502706032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16059292080372606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3788058591202805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552948981764668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761020864170427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394234438462832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29370185867364434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247764452133796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242935363404055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JasmineWindsongScarn,2019/03/16,"Posting again because I posted super late, any advice would be nice! I am kinda at a loss for how to help. My best friend has CPTSD and has been having a hard time lately. She will not consider reaching out for any help at all because when she was struggling a few years ago with suicidal thoughts she admitted herself and was sexually assaulted by a staff member. She has zero trust in any mental health professional and most doctors, understandably. She knows all of the technicalities to NOT be admitted, like she has told me she knows what to say to never go back to that place again. She thinks all *daily mental health medications are dangerous and addictive, although she will take a half of an ativan very occasionally when she is overwhelmed. She medicates with marjiuana, and it seems to usually help. This is where my problem comes in; its not helping right now. She goes through this weird funk every spring. Like clockwork and I dont know why. She wont say. She is just super depressed and her anxiety is through the roof. She just tells me “ its childhood shit, ill get over it I don’t want to talk about it”. I see she is struggling, i want to help and still maintain our relationship. Any advice would be appreciated. ",4.835394736842108,7.032421925438597,5.133859649122809,79.62868421052632,70.97368421052632,8.133333333333335,28.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.36701403508772,981,38,177,19,19,310,139,228,0.156,0.677,0.168,0.4948,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,4,12,18,3,3,8,0,25,8,1,1,4,38,42,12,1,5,5,0,1,2,1,5,7,2,0,0,9,12,0,0,9,0,0,2,7,10,0,2,5,4,29,8,24,29,6,29,0,3,1,0,33,9,1,3,18,127,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654500924886925,0.0,0.20893764040316912,0.09476709231876183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908031990708337,0.0,0.08178398285174407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220530665989988,0.0,0.13033969995467246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219287766999256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920913877689532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207931584723364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094244071119116,0.0,0.0,0.12529485196603085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007422145207483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259650765215623,0.0,0.05585478223776151,0.0,0.060758024142870286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576816568995876,0.0,0.0,0.2272754520786551,0.0,0.0,0.3582893850286818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762607802158755,0.0,0.24119274510616165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445925728523343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539621802468747,0.21547533021558005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245369291968953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116956352562602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477576114768894,0.0,0.0,0.102296086820495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477869927414708,0.0,0.09129846325513996,0.0,0.17003434884877938,0.0,0.0,0.08519147569177553,0.09732461802070616,0.0,0.0,0.10973906339729028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537650723641417,0.0,0.0,0.22352596599167146,0.0,0.11693950750295865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038117251661127,0.08592823881039739,0.0934419105217544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850204106828525,0.0,0.08487265272080728,0.062338651919756564,0.0,0.0,0.1021547450983831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11129452946700066,0.0,0.0,0.11774356213781813,0.08820992471299978,0.1261136853073387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646743513972708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518881118661439,0.0,0.0,0.06884495686307424
mentalhealth,Oreothebunny,2019/03/16,"I’m scared I have anxiety, depression and ADHD for a long time now, and something weird just happened, I always get bad anxiety in crowded areas and when I’m around other people, but never around my family unless it’s a large family gathering of over 40 people. 

Now to the story...

So I was having dinner with my family then BOOM anxiety hit me like a wall for no reason, I was eating dinner with 3 other family members, no reason for the attack, I had to go upstairs which leads to me writing this post, does anyone know what the heck that was? ",8.154018691588785,6.390968700934581,9.18777570093458,67.30652336448598,62.92523364485982,11.924485981308413,31.6803738317757,10.793553405168565,3.4025192523364485,429,11,74,9,5,149,73,107,0.204,0.7659999999999999,0.03,-0.9343,0,0,1,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,7,6,1,1,6,0,6,3,0,3,1,16,13,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,7,3,0,3,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,4,1,9,1,14,8,0,16,0,1,0,0,3,6,1,0,8,55,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18516115648969636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819786004178035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35358739281430324,0.0,0.0,0.10772871937758342,0.0,0.0,0.2743083840591488,0.0,0.17527587978788814,0.0,0.0,0.1286412897449936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326995176287292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134826935663548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576511854332157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5809706633781417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049476249916494,0.0,0.08756103823805503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624282460323325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467236568929119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752703955609497,0.0,0.0,0.136346333543911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882761265627807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362427402678624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755563981077616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31681745573985376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425007870571567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860994494753245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983894985819965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tiggereddy,2019/03/16,"Weening off of Zoloft Sorry kinda new to posting to reddit, so bare with me. 

So a little backstory of my life with anxiety/depression: (23F) Since I can remember, I’ve been struggling with a lot of things mentally. My first recollection of a panic episode was when I was around 5 years old, still can remember it to this day. My grandmother, and mother have also struggled tremendously with anxiety throughout their lives, so my doc says it’s hereditary. Constantly on different medications trying to figure out ways to deal with these issues! My anxiety is constant. Constant stomach issues from it, constant worry/fear, it’s honestly terrible but I’ve learned to live with it. I’ve recently decided to ween off of Zoloft, and i’m struggling. (I’ve decided to go the medical cannabis route). Zoloft really messed up my stomach, and the negative symptoms from it just isn’t worth it for me. Also, I just don’t want to be on pills anymore..

Is there any way I can make this process of getting off these pills easier? I feel like my mind is going back to where it was and i’m pretty desperate to stay off the meds!! Thank you in advanced :) ",4.454413145539911,6.626118126760566,5.3677230046948345,77.65515258215964,71.95774647887325,9.428169014084506,31.551643192488264,9.861636050157227,3.506491079812207,903,42,158,25,18,295,126,213,0.123,0.759,0.118,0.5436,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,1,2,13,9,0,4,6,0,14,11,2,1,0,28,23,11,0,1,3,1,1,1,0,0,9,1,0,0,13,12,0,0,8,0,1,3,3,6,0,1,4,2,16,3,36,18,1,32,0,0,0,0,5,12,0,2,14,105,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17457602464504735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422642044525121,0.0,0.16700042685189614,0.0,0.10824845860253084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716752808051184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393037868173195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.471813801683481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039336279024626,0.11252988440251367,0.09401159319052813,0.0,0.0,0.11403955954984026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282521664414014,0.05519002336024702,0.077977493580934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284378171060563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05702689053634762,0.0,0.124066053189543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22785056367943116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709657667979218,0.05332566337252557,0.10939797330898904,0.19276465898032796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279627379532356,0.0,0.0,0.0728591376154681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212421505816109,0.21991629105184748,0.109998531702983,0.0,0.1102113908325562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541871240947576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453560946471884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280651762864314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453648235308682,0.11104580374969653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992492321406032,0.0,0.10777344079241458,0.0,0.2472936022326151,0.0,0.0,0.08680125327445101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029083209178608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218560405737501,0.0,0.11634043907572506,0.08716812665782954,0.0,0.0,0.34232496172961363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134496783472991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049157251328786,0.0,0.0,0.07251507188299698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410636164220752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438008563476967,0.17327796063743925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028966297456739
mentalhealth,12many4u,2019/03/16,Best type of therapy to fix limited thinking? I find that I hit a lot of roadblocks in my ways of thinking which prevent me from taking action in different actions of my life. Would i benefit from CBT or another type best?,5.124341085271318,6.338074767441863,6.465116279069767,74.2401550387597,68.76744186046511,10.38449612403101,37.58914728682171,10.504223727775694,4.430370542635659,177,10,31,5,3,60,32,43,0.039,0.6970000000000001,0.264,0.8992,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,9,3,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,23,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874890883078986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5754448727334698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864472413479854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25058461567411705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19365299019458404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330878577659328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061402405821343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31353504032312474,0.0,0.0,0.3513516109326563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21762182354495427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476110475486388,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,suhbreenahawk,2019/03/16,"rant ): I can't feel positive emotions intensley. All I feel is apathy, self-hatred, and anger. I lack empathy and because of this I find it dificult to feel close to my friends. I can't look at my reflection with out wanting to die. I miss being manic. I miss the confidence and energy it gave me. I'm so jaded I'm scared I'm going to fuck this semester up. Stressors are everywhere and they're unavoidable, such as my toxic family dynamic. I wish I could cry, all I want to do is bang my head on the wall. ",0.7469871794871779,3.0608684423076937,3.674615384615386,84.15371794871797,85.73076923076924,8.466666666666667,23.08974358974359,9.075114841892004,2.316662820512821,394,15,81,13,12,140,70,104,0.32299999999999995,0.5539999999999999,0.123,-0.9737,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,2,1,2,0,8,2,1,0,2,19,23,6,1,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,4,15,2,12,20,3,7,0,2,1,1,2,6,1,0,0,50,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819322059311735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19409781758908293,0.0,0.2670370287927853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523023426331549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734579479166383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22917569988230024,0.0,0.3687602654673167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22219157018232727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18782063305307312,0.2247446366287622,0.0,0.0,0.13816093297341595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24949362498329866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041451389248028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433883290335675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25360925645525506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867766796004728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795562415860557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rhiannon_skylark,2019/03/16,"A super interesting look into how an otherwise sane person can develop mental illnesses in an instant. This hit right in the feels. YouTube user hellbentforheather has a powerful testimony that goes into a lot of uncomfortable truths surrounding Stockholm syndrome,  domestic violence, abuse, depression, anxiety, and a host of other mental issues. Worth a watch... nice to know you're not alone <3 
New to reddit, not sure how to post the link!",7.650180180180179,10.404907891891897,7.7172972972973,61.70045045045046,64.67567567567568,11.960360360360362,35.306306306306304,11.538034831475384,5.44497117117117,360,17,48,13,6,116,60,74,0.23,0.5720000000000001,0.197,-0.6266,1,1,0,0,2,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,9,0,2,1,0,2,2,13,6,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,9,5,1,8,0,1,2,0,1,6,0,1,1,29,3,0,0.0,0.3041946214184611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659049523977458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964052060631184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211295705164012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981533179326193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26796959597440834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109745230473247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559672848635825,0.0,0.0,0.21827095439490654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5174665644399707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479608504480492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224175246832672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458857111291083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192543437432922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24197417603502716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,that_shroom,2019/03/16,"I need help but I don’t have any friends/don’t trust family members yet to talk about this. So, I’m a kid. And everyone my age is either changing, dating, or going through puberty. But I am a little different from everyone else. Since sixth grade till now I’ve made friends with mental illnesses by accident thinking maybe this one will be happy. But they aren’t. And we always get into fights or manage to turn drama into real problems involving suicidal thoughts and therapy and self harm sexual harassment and so on. People tell me constantly that I’m a kid and it’s just kid drama. But I don’t feel like that because my heart always aches I’m always shaking and being nervous. I hate myself and push others away thinking I’m helping them by making them not want to be my friend or girlfriend/boyfriend. I’ve had to go through many crushes and all of them have ended horribly. The first one secretly hated me and constantly talked behind my back and ghosted me after I told them I liked them which took a lot of hits especially for me. And the next one was homophobic and I first someone who would later sexually harass my friend and told her he could rape her if he wanted to. And he lied to me and said my crush talked a lot of shit behind my back. And I believed him because we were friends. It all ended in a big fight and I still think of him from time to time thinking it was all my fault and I could’ve done better. And lastly is the current one. He liked me for a long time and In the beginning I liked him back. But then he started to show that he had lots of problems with his mental health and slowly he would put them on me and I would crumble under the weight of his problems, my problems, and my friends problems. And I would lash out on him. I said some things I regret but he kept on liking me. Finally I convinced him to get a therapist right before I decided to distance myself....fast forward to a month ago when he said he got over me. I was so happy because he genuinely is an amazing person when he isn’t putting all of his problems on you and gets mad when you suggest he talks to a therapist or something like that. So I added him on social media and we started to talk again. A few days later I would be going to a different country to visit family and he would always be on his phone because he knows that I get bored easily and I would text him. It was great. But then I realized one week before I was supposed to come home from my visit, that he lied to me and he did like me. And I’ve had many problems with people lying to me so I get very mean/defensive and sensitive when it comes to someone lying to me. I told him that it wasn’t necessary and I didn’t want to talk to him at that point. I told him that maybe we weren’t good together whether it’s as friends or as a couple and that it would be best not to talk. And that was that. I came home and realized, “shit I messed up. I think I like him” he was mentally in a good place and I was trying (and still am) to find the courage to tell my family that I need a therapist and that I’ve hurt myself and many more things. And of course one of my friends started to like him. In the time it took me to stop talking to this boy and come back home from my visit which was around a week, they started to have a “thing” for each other. And that sucks. I was trying my best to see if he still liked me and maybe hint at it without being obvious or getting my friend mad at me. Because I don’t want to take him away from her. But I want him back too. And today was the deciding day. My friends went out to the movies with him and the girl without me which is fine because we aren’t even that close as friends anyway. And apparently they cuddled and he asked her out. And I am happy for them and I puke hate myself if o came between them but I am so incredibly mad with myself because I waited to long for something I didn’t know I wanted from the beginning. Not just that but I don’t have many friends. One of them left me because she started to try and imitate me and my new friends and she started vaping and doing things I wasn’t really into. And my best friend since third grade is moving halfway across the country. And everyone is always hanging out without me and it makes me feel lonely. Things like that and many more make me feel like I don’t deserve to be happy. So many crappy things have happened to me I genuinely believe that the universe or some god or whoever or whatever put us here wants me to not be happy. I don’t know where else to go. And I’m still afraid to tell my parents about me being depressed haha. We’ve had problems with other family members having anxiety and that resulted in many arguments and lots of screaming. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I know my problem isn’t important but I just want help. Thanks for taking the time to read this. 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mentalhealth,abitheawesome,2019/03/16,NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME OR YOU!!! No one cares.,-2.66,-4.103776999999997,-1.3088888888888892,109.79000000000002,152.33333333333334,1.2000000000000002,3.0,3.1291,-3.280066666666667,33,0,8,0,3,10,8,9,0.139,0.38,0.481,0.7513,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.948974022241978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153542533562564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jp11_,2019/03/16,"I randomly feel down sometimes, resulting in loss of apetite, no motivation, and a little anxious I dont really know why this could be happening

It started today by this girl i like texting me wanting to chill. But i randomly felt down again and didnt feel like doing anything, i really want to chill with her but its almost like that triggered me being down. It really makes no sense

Any ideas?",3.771942857142857,6.211488746666667,4.951238095238092,78.64800000000002,74.86666666666667,8.552380952380952,28.04761904761905,9.23628265651192,2.8305619047619053,316,13,55,8,7,104,54,75,0.099,0.772,0.13,0.3276,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,4,0,20,15,4,0,3,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,3,8,3,9,10,0,8,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,3,6,37,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129184284748122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459582573204688,0.0,0.0,0.2402116004485061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497653531411358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976791086454918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24920100793787836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21502443340459987,0.15190305561302184,0.2041583345127467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18802818146870529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400336115938426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685599581170746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31164112246582715,0.21311131789917426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193230796309342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40864904776775707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21029670231394912,0.0,0.1505007482253107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20154856507803268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508295991432247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19186568077449348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fluxoproblem,2019/03/16,"I [21M] spied my [19F] girlfriend's facebook and instagram for 2 months.  

I was scared of losing her. I installed a keylogger in my computer so I could have her password. I spied her Facebook and Instagram for 2 months. She found out and broke up with me. I had 0 reasons to spy or doubt her, yet I spied almost everyday. We were in the most mature and good phase of our 2 year relationship. In my head I always felt scared of losing her, even 1%. That does not excuse, I know. I don't know how to move on. I know I have a problem, I just need help how to cope with all of this.

TL:DR: I spied my girlfriend for 2 months because I am an insecure person. She found out. She broke up with me. I'm feeling really bad.",0.14859455191472648,2.2908415302013445,2.3208527437820763,94.03412554283459,86.71812080536913,5.653533359652586,20.174101855507306,7.048011613610866,0.3878413738649821,544,17,124,8,17,183,88,149,0.201,0.728,0.071,-0.9528,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,0,2,6,11,0,4,4,0,8,1,1,3,1,30,17,8,0,3,3,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,10,0,0,8,0,0,1,2,10,0,0,6,2,31,1,21,10,2,15,0,4,0,0,16,8,0,4,6,80,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653922449185872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743329931873913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379086739241238,0.10068509367818587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13187348833146212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453993693215975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909213803695013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351408097430396,0.0,0.15858751873089993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621971431222613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853537638488098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951037910515782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107088640162831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723166184055553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695622724831017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39550740569771575,0.17554781790568447,0.0,0.1224702393599894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442186331752695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580438053488729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581107497097612,0.169820573486587,0.0,0.17732899634872212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33072466622754537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636300272963467
mentalhealth,cosmicowboi,2019/03/16,"I think I’ve officially lost everything, I don’t know what to do My family has always been abusive, I don’t have any friends, and now my long term boyfriend is saying he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I feel like most unwanted person in the world. I honestly don’t see myself staying alive. I feel like the world has just been testing me my entire life, and I think it may have finally won.  Just any kind of advice or encouragement would be helpful right now. ",5.008064516129032,5.620070612903227,5.6808064516129075,81.94120967741938,68.6774193548387,9.210752688172043,29.478494623655912,9.2995712137729,2.3489655913978504,369,13,75,7,6,120,63,93,0.085,0.677,0.238,0.9275,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,4,8,0,0,2,0,16,1,0,0,0,16,25,3,0,3,3,0,2,2,1,2,1,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,4,13,7,5,18,2,10,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,3,7,46,15,1,0.0,0.24292048340750286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003475493700453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705967918506982,0.0,0.0,0.27884735450437903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871767814065214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18426278291705536,0.0,0.19327883339741764,0.0,0.20733307516009067,0.2929390595086517,0.0,0.22459429674656772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840140496180982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374235874728644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21350144630602647,0.11267609256733745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481485379158845,0.20032920986116526,0.0,0.0,0.18144021339838132,0.0,0.0,0.22380843957649715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17901946811109545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508978601579894,0.0,0.1630436958838539,0.0,0.0,0.16337796625950726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185288167174395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627428170126685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092875053339194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14564350842723345,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,9Deo,2019/03/16,"Mental Illness in media Hey everyone,  


Just joined this amazing subreddit and can already see that it is full of awesome people that help each other. Personally I have been officially diagnosed with panic anxiety and agoraphobia for the last (almost) four years. I am currently writing my thesis on mental illness in American popular culture . I therefore wanted to ask you all about your impressions on the portrayal of mental illness in different media. It would be great to hear what TV shows, films, video games, novels, comic books (or anything else) that either portrayed a mental illness in a good or bad way, or just helped you deal with your troubles. Thanks",7.88157894736842,9.820088517543864,7.667500000000004,65.47125000000001,62.94736842105264,10.261403508771927,37.05701754385965,10.411451182825502,4.578301754385964,537,26,73,13,8,171,87,114,0.158,0.659,0.183,0.6808,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,4,0,0,3,9,0,1,4,0,7,5,0,1,1,17,12,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,8,5,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,2,8,6,14,9,4,11,0,0,1,0,14,7,0,4,3,53,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297967398663926,0.0,0.17960865442532564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451022463253045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393682681712768,0.0,0.15215773707270144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589700488766687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677974296108283,0.0,0.16519700555093847,0.0,0.17004856148227526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359642980758998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555232432557829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651456566139664,0.0,0.1794424227092561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834412737113728,0.0,0.21818791532440526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267034557977364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6560913477776026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19096267198369904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11283662916117596,0.14211492098238412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969788710814206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984666210945827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599950222110112,0.1291905548359343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561935643160715,0.0,0.0,0.10481148930319484
mentalhealth,Yournamehere777,2019/03/16,"I could use some help Hey guys, I need advice on an issue I've been experiencing today. I'd prefer to hear from those of you who are professionals in this field, or at least those with a good amount of experience; however, feel free to chime in regardless. 

This morning, at around lunchtime, I went on social media to find some relief from a bit of a depressive period I've been experiencing this weekend. I logged into my account and immediately began finding posts that I swear appeared in my feed months ago; all dated no more than 6 days ago. Some even posted a few hours prior. At first, I labeled it deja vu, but I scrolled further only to find several more posts fitting the same criteria. All of which I KNOW I have seen before, and not just in a surreal way -like deja vu- I mean, I had logged these posts before, liked them, sent one or two to my friends. It's as if I literally traveled back in time. To add to this, I also began experiencing detachment from reality. I began playing a couple of game apps on my phone to bring myself back, but the whole thing was sort of a blur. I've felt detached before, but never to this degree. It was like everything I knew was a lie. Strange ideas started popping into my head: the world is a bubble, I don't know what I am, am I a time traveler?, is it real? I can't be crazy, there's too much, something is wrong; upon all of this, I had a looming feeling of stress and anxiety.

Now, I've been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder, but nothing very serious; I'm not crazy, I don't think. Can anyone give me any sort of explanation as to what this 'episode' may have been? I've been trying to decide if I should go to the hospital over something like this or not. What's your take? I really need answers, because it's freaking me out. ",4.776238361266294,5.620126041899447,6.147611731843576,77.55547718808197,69.3072625698324,9.206890130353818,29.72113594040968,9.408791572840183,2.5947929236499068,1425,53,275,29,24,483,205,358,0.105,0.792,0.102,-0.2485,1,0,2,0,0,0,51.0,0,2,1,1,9,15,0,1,16,0,26,3,1,1,4,60,51,16,0,8,13,0,3,4,1,2,1,1,0,1,23,11,1,0,15,5,2,7,8,6,0,3,18,8,34,10,46,29,16,53,0,2,1,0,14,20,0,13,25,187,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856633926321384,0.17882551663654578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066352789842775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859320973266084,0.0,0.1543263872322279,0.0,0.0,0.07052874791591449,0.0,0.0,0.08979326488937765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512142531793086,0.0,0.061487758071775735,0.0,0.2574918798365252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101209460799348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053431595865784,0.11160772751975816,0.0,0.0650510514813268,0.0,0.1737536820538419,0.10237816662647728,0.0,0.0,0.2312052847267881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662188757144745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065300789400063,0.09866755539545173,0.0,0.0,0.1020030556449141,0.0,0.0968484075318633,0.0,0.2765726014647415,0.08579765739809947,0.0,0.0,0.07792981082288113,0.0,0.0,0.0967610867316404,0.05732520008432002,0.08460268939871374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987446618092376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351893016444706,0.0,0.11368475611021425,0.0,0.06760921203283511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933395327995158,0.0,0.0,0.1138668822532642,0.0,0.105279234862848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086803908274784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711463330191772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098740388912026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051130108979794,0.0,0.0741490572203772,0.1495836210438172,0.07779506511267846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678487619523814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835027983839041,0.07671411219279345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3864118903079142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480904804481375,0.06461816284270383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395131641155473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282149011282952,0.0,0.15530512115724115,0.0,0.0,0.07139438040951103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554312919672295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583964196550821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701173927844464,0.06463168060221662,0.0,0.0,0.11763304500764185,0.0,0.095610387960531,0.0,0.0,0.06848226246337276,0.0,0.09853267661200214,0.0,0.0,0.08711694472859875,0.0,0.083226070217573,0.0,0.08006375239944652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935049797143502,0.0,0.11261471667440115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028253698657492,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,illpourthisonurhead,2019/03/16,"Is it possible to receive therapy anonymously in the US? For various reasons it seems very unwise to be honest with doctors in this country about certain topics.  Wouldn’t want to leave a stain on my medical record unless something really bad happened and there was no other choice. I don’t have a big enough problem that it is necessary to ask a doc for help, but it would be nice to discuss some worries with someone without permanently ruining my otherwise upstanding medical record. I know people from the medical community often don’t understand this hesitation, but there are legitimate reasons to avoid being honest with doctors. I feel like I talk to them in the same way I speak to police. I have a clean criminal history and I’m not gonna let anything change how every doctor will treat me the rest of my life. 

Is it possible to speak with a mental health professional anonymously?",9.649095092024538,8.82762565030675,9.730483128834354,61.58995782208591,59.3680981595092,13.548773006134967,42.46088957055215,12.602617957971056,5.740963803680983,723,36,113,22,8,240,109,163,0.119,0.726,0.156,0.7623,0,1,1,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,1,0,5,10,0,1,9,0,16,8,0,3,1,27,25,6,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,4,8,2,1,0,9,6,0,1,6,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,1,3,12,6,24,16,5,7,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,3,1,85,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113118236274688,0.0,0.12850696303797066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477373231258099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454149273275141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220897795281648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203338822760195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581635601946885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950413270850306,0.09820177148229828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155582015322555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611402823188616,0.0,0.0,0.0921368407198651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755446672927491,0.0,0.0,0.1455507666585867,0.0,0.1405626212604808,0.09709237957640128,0.06715623147357894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4154308192150304,0.13852780049249813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529776672490962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30993200250649844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153108425038787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806068283353201,0.282664468998408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513882916148453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646979147311465,0.10582376854277348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048550115402288,0.0,0.0,0.15719800202912895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431011741203621,0.1653479938268543,0.0,0.0,0.11341926558251705,0.08107773367907115,0.10910970532654474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250696653751998,0.0,0.0,0.13959775738346528,0.0,0.09764795829167297,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lev_King,2019/03/16,"I'm about to be assessed for my mental health at the hospital. What can I do so that I can get the help I need, but not get sectioned?",2.241,2.4141991000000007,4.026666666666667,92.91,74.66666666666666,7.333333333333332,25.0,7.1686216300943375,0.7410000000000001,103,3,26,1,2,35,24,30,0.0,0.931,0.069,0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,7,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5076729860409779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5164356693730803,0.0,0.0,0.3256549120360267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4896223739762149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3602515063287296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,syddo19,2019/03/16,"Bpd stigma is making it so much harder There is so much stigma about BPD and pwBPD being automatically abusive. 

Other subreddits literally just hate on pwBPD and claim that they’re venting and that it helps them get over their trauma.

Thing is they say horrible things and generalize all of us, and make me feel like a bad person just for my diagnosis. 

And worse, I can’t even say anything to defend myself or comment cause those subreddits have rules about people with BPD interacting at all.

This is discrimination (imo) that someone thinks they can shit on me cause of my disorder, and then when I try to defend myself they say “you can’t post here, you have BPD. Fuck off” 

Is it just me who sees this as damaging and wrong? 

Also people on these subreddits make horrible comments about their current spouses. Sure, sometimes people with BPD can be hard to handle or even abusive, but leave them then, don’t pretend to love them while you shit on them online. 

I was so much happier when I didn’t know about these hate-filled communities and all the stigma. Makes me want to die tbh.

I know I can just ignore it, but it still hurts to have the knowledge that people automatically despise me because I have a diagnosis. ",9.054425837320576,7.890050359649122,8.589250398724086,70.39944976076558,60.75438596491228,11.273365231259966,34.3237639553429,10.230975488527342,3.2726175438596488,974,31,176,17,11,311,124,228,0.209,0.723,0.068,-0.9838,1,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,1,3,9,0,19,14,5,0,4,0,19,4,2,6,4,37,33,23,1,1,8,1,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,18,11,0,1,5,1,0,0,4,11,0,0,2,6,29,3,23,29,6,15,0,2,1,2,24,7,3,2,8,130,47,0,0.0,0.2265805213616416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646471235282917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868447102483803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983602566638147,0.058287107651664276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6021299983928421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964495642075832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923513199165053,0.0,0.10958512509736396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263079759161525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0483467219461276,0.06830865382327123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839618153168899,0.04995582629520949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565386271587684,0.1888035688797042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408991876727646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023597512017759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050969742887947,0.0,0.0,0.10124437454965184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04671353376380878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862978860306186,0.0,0.255299798989896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108680271979572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26515457141284376,0.0834888928457545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915744538204222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281149273615653,0.0,0.0,0.07619420201791946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962985216033212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101579581015697,0.0,0.09456745014487797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635969194255574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011769292042904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270470930713887,0.06126737814333497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491752390406935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501522528773267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639726003982909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744167769835547,0.0,0.10454194960127776,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,immortalcancer,2019/03/16,"None of my hobbies are fun anymore A bit of context I'm 27 and have severe depression, anxiety, adhd and some mild ptsd i am medicated for all of it.  I Am married in a good relationship.

Normally i play video games with friends and my wife at night and play Mtg (magic the gathering) on my one of my days off.  But lately nothing seems fun or interesting i pretty much just work eat and sleep now. I also seem to be tried alot again. Even the idea if sex is just meh. Not sure how to break this cycle, advice? ",2.3548435814455217,4.162842844660194,4.110226537216828,85.97811218985979,76.86407766990291,7.2962243797195265,24.06580366774541,8.167268648758528,1.3555014023732472,395,13,83,7,9,133,81,103,0.097,0.703,0.2,0.9192,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,5,0,6,4,1,1,2,21,9,10,0,2,6,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,9,8,12,8,6,10,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,6,5,55,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22675756756929502,0.18437662266487412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508879091718135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434023967332826,0.0,0.18712058110862545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20599048594733285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168345971434655,0.0,0.1625104336436993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930674878628832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462184065880992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14577426159721302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825644186749094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21299757442722755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21284007835128887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007598218083635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870204418944032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770640806576845,0.1848670516974692,0.18104424625391266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785494367553082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919561312518475,0.0,0.0,0.22055767282427235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025724889512392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34353569492181496,0.0,0.2131555156174912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888169899124482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782935220376814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12810182826946614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373618163947262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,morganpdodson,2019/03/16,"Being 1 in 1.4 Billion sucks... Now constant panic attacks from experimental surgery http://imgur.com/gallery/iotoZfI

Hey everyone,

I have been getting extremely bad panic attacks since my surgery, or should I say when I woke up from it...

This is a link to my surgery in way more detail:
 https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/b07z2f/if_successful_ill_be_1_in_14_billion_wish_me_luck

For those who don't click the link, I basically had grade 5 AC separation and a severe brachial plexus injury from the same injury (only 5 other cases reported in the world, wahoo me...). I haven't been able to feel my arm for over a week. I won't dive into that just click the link for more details.

What happened after my surgery was the most traumatic experience I have ever had. I had been given ketamine to go to sleep after my surgery was done. I woke in a panic around 6 am, cold, confused, excrusiating pain, catheter, and vulnerable. In that moment I felt like I was going to die. I had no idea what was going on, I was just flat out scared shitless. I ended up passing out due to my high heart rate, all I remember is all the alarms started going off and then blank.

I have had a harsh past growing up from rape, abusive family, bullying, terrible school experiences, getting cheated on 3 times in a row, losing friends, mom lying about my real parents, the list goes on. Due to this I have severe depression and PTSD (just got diagnosed).

Unfortunately since that traumatic morning, the scariest time in my life really and usually nothing scares me ever, I have been getting panic attacks. These arnt just little panic attacks either. Full on uncontrollable ones with buckets full of tears. I noticed I have been very anxious as well. I finally talked to a psychiatrist today and was properly diagnosed with severe PTSD and severe depression. From my past it makes sense....

I need help badly! I am currently still in the hospital due to my extreme nerve pain from my brachial plexus and AC joint (been 8 days now). Even after surgery the pain and lack of feeling is increasing( I was aware of the possible risks of my surgery (having a dead arm). Last night was my worst panic attack yet where I couldn't stop crying for over a hour if not two hours. 

I can tell when they are coming on as I feel anxious and mad. Soon after i can't breath well and i want to be alone. Then the tears start pouring in and I can't control it. 

I need advice on what to do at this point or a coping mechanism. Is lorazepam a good option? They already have me on Amitriptyline (they told me it was plain meds....) and now I'm going to start on Sertraline. Will have a combo of the two and hopefully things get better but so far nope.

Things arnt looking good for me physically and mentally, I need some kind words and advice. For those who remember me I never did admit myself to the hospital but now I'm ready to face my fears, happy I didn't do the unthinkable and I'm now in a safe place. ❤

Link to old post:


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mentalhealth,neurocentricx,2019/03/16,"I have BPD and I feel like DBT is a terrible therapy. Is there another way to get help? Am I alone in this? So, as the title says. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and am doing Dialectal Behavior Therapy. I've been doing it since August of last year... and I don't think I'm getting any better. This therapy is useless to me. Most of it is distraction/meditation (which I already did way before I was diagnosed) and radical acceptance, which is bullshit. Why am I supposed to accept everything? Not even a normal person does that.

I have spirals all the time about everything, and when I bring them up to my therapist, I feel like it's just a ""Why Neuro is Wrong"" hour. I'm told to do the radical acceptance, and learn to control my emotions. Yeah, I'm working on that, it's obviously not making things better. I don't feel validated in therapy, so much so that I make it a point to spend my sessions venting about what happened the previous week so by the time the hour is up, there's no time to tell me I'm feeling the wrong way.

I feel like my therapist should at least validate my feelings once in a while. I feel like I'm not allowed to feel the way I do, and that sucks, because I can't control it initially happening. My feelings and emotions are so heightened and it really hurts when even my therapist is basically telling me stop being a baby (she doesn't say it this way, but it feels like that's her point).

Am I the only person who feels like DBT is a crap therapy? Is there another type of therapy that may be better, or maybe I just need to get on some medication? I'm just so frustrated and I feel like I've been doing this therapy for months and it's just the same thing over and over: distract and accept. I don't think it's facilitating growth. Help?",3.2473465809468185,4.962588305084752,5.137356321839082,79.97211864406783,74.14124293785311,9.176543931424119,28.873563218390807,9.668497473035632,2.855286888759012,1396,59,276,38,29,479,158,354,0.098,0.7659999999999999,0.136,0.9106,1,1,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,6,19,23,3,1,17,1,36,3,1,5,2,56,67,25,0,3,9,0,12,7,0,2,2,2,0,3,27,13,0,3,19,0,1,2,9,9,0,0,5,14,34,14,28,58,6,33,0,2,0,0,14,12,2,4,21,185,61,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465085132235282,0.06888474578362802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04244941886704367,0.13091080104054315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03805215717061625,0.0,0.05311692272283624,0.0,0.0,0.16562280098463394,0.0,0.0,0.07861891337246041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002421173332627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335749114096371,0.0,0.0,0.07154155647398078,0.0,0.054626322493705234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404337495606245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245890292219042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220257861231224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3787521054925291,0.3121623657929921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783948957290754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039996477857633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368092911931609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294711406374773,0.0,0.06682454315545262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088264291901598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21347525383809474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333496435307229,0.0,0.06271175935849471,0.0,0.0,0.06288406943611281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04982501849398332,0.0,0.04588769647625122,0.04628546914545887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611607651951156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647789127972763,0.0,0.047475099855761586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635146741996561,0.0,0.0,0.1180188181624526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03998943148482938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928170417834692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163651067001369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05218797842642103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091199770057164,0.0,0.4996987271272391,0.2174318900334136,0.08294142818878329,0.07999559410202417,0.0,0.0,0.10919712941551292,0.0,0.0,0.05964734332762385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477402482634588,0.0500715386462433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265313653659464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045444300226309284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649833925279284,0.0,0.04019802285672033
mentalhealth,BluestributeTV,2019/03/16,"I Made a Horror Film About Mental Health Hi all! A while ago, I made a short horror film about mental health, specifically depression. I realised I never shared it with the audience that can hopefully relate to it the most. The logline, and link if you wish to view it:

[A psychiatrist with the unique ability to enter people's subconscious mind must fight the inner demon of a suicidal young man.](https://youtu.be/WKGvXkwhHf0)

I'm sharing in hopes that, well, everyone can relate, but specifically all y'all here. But if you can't, I'd like to know how I can make it more relatable to mental health (not just depression).",7.440455120101133,8.331361389380533,7.413678887484199,70.662389380531,63.42477876106194,11.41289506953224,31.18710493046776,11.20814326018867,3.741873324905183,499,17,84,14,7,160,72,113,0.14400000000000002,0.76,0.096,-0.7488,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,3,0,0,6,9,1,0,10,0,5,3,0,4,4,24,13,7,1,6,6,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,3,1,0,2,1,8,6,11,10,4,8,1,2,1,0,7,3,0,5,5,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396777075091516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797691373753618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519090607922476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5179066812366336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226220274641753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925697369413653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934593136542821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30735489688941725,0.1084107682298378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4910170110307285,0.0,0.16398906079420464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252615656909638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259550888897273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765154333618616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602721547351974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867649183167014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Arcanerage,2019/03/16,"Trying to figure out where I’m at in the middle of cognitive dissonance I’m smack bang in the middle of a family breakdown. A close family member has recently been incarcerated for having sex with a minor. The minor was my niece. This seems pretty straight forward, except my niece is adopted from within a broader family context and the family member who has been arrested isn’t actually related.  I’m currently torn between the obvious issues of not understanding that I still feel empathy and confusion, yet no anger to the perpetrator and a ridiculous amount of anger I feel towards my nieces adoptive mother (my sister) for years of lies.  He has perpetrated a sexual offence, yet I seem to be transferring all of my rage to my sister, whom I don’t have a great relationship with due to significant and harmful lies in the past.  I can sit on the outside and know this is some kind of transfer, I just don’t seem to be able to rationalise this. I guess it’s a bit of a case of telling someone to ‘cheer up’ when they have depression. I feel that I am flying into a bad place mentally. Trying to navigate it before I have no capacity to change the direction. Any advice? ",5.849594594594593,7.0172644099099095,7.297315315315322,69.10489189189192,67.06306306306307,10.96504504504504,32.36756756756757,10.93419730881044,3.976587027027028,937,39,159,28,15,322,130,222,0.188,0.764,0.048,-0.984,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,6,11,4,1,19,0,19,1,0,0,2,27,31,6,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,0,9,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,3,3,17,3,36,26,4,27,0,1,0,1,9,17,0,6,10,116,26,2,0.14378358885084142,0.0,0.14031204168637704,0.0,0.0,0.1405036589363204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777777096792456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120053290845934,0.0,0.0,0.12234924395034798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156974439402099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210397198067582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384059438907308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5421854846274633,0.0,0.21810390820932607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585219143087121,0.1583938334243427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007271061112618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497284817733745,0.07901970016672168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449000393006337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372577050103274,0.0,0.0,0.1502232475722282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627960099457518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419689478087997,0.1543697649198171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926855374676151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182736823793615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482575978911536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256731941738499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19523923725413952,0.0,0.0,0.14968378679433522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259191708980703
mentalhealth,Ajosephinexoxo,2019/03/16,"Signed off from work with anxiety Hi, so quick back story, suffered with anxiety for years and over the last few weeks it’s been really bad, went to work this morning to talk to my boss about it and he sent me home saying he can’t allow me to work and I need to go to the doctor Monday morning to talk about it and get signed on sick leave.

It’s the weekend, has anyone got any tips on how I can relax and not worry too much about it all, I’m panicking that the doctor won’t sign me off, or that they can’t help me, I feel like I’ve let everyone down and that I should have just pushed through and dealt with it myself.

So yeah any ideas on what I can do in the meantime would be very much appreciated xx ",5.225513245033113,4.12621263576159,5.837475165562915,86.8291928807947,68.33774834437087,9.139403973509934,26.159768211920532,8.07648339933343,1.1793768211920534,552,11,130,6,8,180,96,151,0.11,0.775,0.115,0.174,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,3,11,4,0,0,5,1,13,3,0,3,1,25,21,11,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,3,3,1,1,0,11,10,0,0,2,2,0,4,4,2,0,0,4,2,12,2,24,12,4,19,0,1,0,0,9,8,0,1,8,85,23,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328543356706577,0.0,0.2619469807249906,0.0,0.0,0.11971246720813335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164822211072796,0.1429513528907131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504768545272209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635963798300259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086567802597172,0.12231087903830755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944900368056273,0.0,0.09730133226631894,0.0,0.13693050940420673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475697240645627,0.0,0.17173537231324215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932727548784464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955719925383178,0.0,0.18128432864289387,0.0,0.17507156446151453,0.0,0.08364347791744398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517148494282416,0.12694840655920092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968009398918456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615130599966774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752206719523877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126435667993567,0.0,0.0,0.13733256165410782,0.0,0.0,0.15871133613766472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37392392952512027,0.17386982087615213,0.0,0.12162110147985893,0.0,0.0,0.11025220317965932
mentalhealth,chickentendypubsub,2019/03/16,"Suicidal I didn’t know where else to post this. I haven’t felt this helpless in a long time. My wedding, which should be the happiest day of my life is nine days away. My fiancé’s mother (his only parent) supposedly is not coming because we aren’t doing parent dances. 

Two of my closest friends aren’t coming due to a situation. Basically ones boyfriend was abusing her, I had evidence and reported it. She thought other friend reported it, other friend told me I needed to make it right and I was having a panic attack and texted “please just fucking stop” because I couldn’t handle it at the moment. I texted later apologizing saying I didn’t mean to take it out on her, and I told her about FMIL not coming to the wedding. She said “neither are we” and it stung so bad. 
I recently moved across the country bc fiancé is military and I have no friends there and I feel like I’m losing all my friends back home. I’m sick to my stomach and I don’t know what to do I feel like I’ve ruined my life 

I’m sorry if none of this is coherent I’m in a really bad place right now ",2.46343186733958,4.265662086757992,4.153664984378754,85.81250180245134,76.53424657534245,6.984955539533766,24.31170391732757,7.85451343220497,1.2908757990867583,843,28,172,13,19,283,124,219,0.182,0.7020000000000001,0.116,-0.9379,5,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,0,1,7,15,2,1,8,0,21,5,1,1,1,31,42,10,1,4,4,3,3,2,5,1,3,2,1,0,13,14,0,1,7,1,0,5,12,8,0,3,10,5,30,7,18,29,3,29,0,3,0,1,23,12,1,1,13,114,43,2,0.0,0.13707398204978696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161431641896573,0.10869476137911564,0.08895863101039435,0.19319298734692644,0.141047357468581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29897061819865595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922123036724322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966443261186064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699289341173615,0.16529821948942405,0.11108074506037226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4469098495900148,0.1069537357203357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604671428222392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271606286416464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16343083457372715,0.11304078656262564,0.0,0.0,0.10238219604049696,0.0,0.1294277535273292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722411408922553,0.0,0.0,0.12602055535927809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296038529850913,0.0,0.08578282543731522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839468095575483,0.08798761854929732,0.0,0.13573753557989626,0.2569205762632064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087164692836325,0.12699311039112862,0.0,0.0,0.11079924226288446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411411148540037,0.0,0.114230126239854,0.0,0.0,0.1975976158846175,0.11004788330669944,0.09200149913016367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004064422124725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950571934555066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967221965323706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654631338499053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698464073215566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184510469014084,0.0674598923006048,0.0,0.0,0.22109390851773075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301252555188335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themagiccarpet-,2019/03/16,"Can’t speak, any advice? Throughout my life I have been a very social person because I had a tricky home life and normally had to latch on to different friends to stay outside of my home. I use to believe I could speak to anyone, but now I can barely talk or respond to my friends.  I normally have something to say but just forget before I can speak, I seem very awkward and everything I say seems to be uninteresting or irrelevant. I’m worried I have lost a big part of myself through anxiety what should I do ",5.873300330033004,6.019156148514853,6.630445544554457,77.50758250825083,66.72277227722772,9.505610561056104,34.65511551155116,9.2995712137729,3.0667610561056105,405,18,78,7,6,134,63,101,0.142,0.794,0.064,-0.6798,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,3,0,13,2,0,1,0,15,18,6,0,4,5,0,0,0,2,1,2,5,2,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,5,15,2,12,11,1,4,0,1,0,0,11,2,0,4,1,53,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168580422090634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251861804568103,0.0,0.12657660931038714,0.0,0.0,0.11569362738557272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086300950091134,0.0,0.14079445370812446,0.18641699858134192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321065156775672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17287070514939662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870496962704946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255668298728898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33194016691322425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337388819783261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061936698569106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32423175449940195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791772856371436,0.0,0.0,0.1444734750375191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631612033690416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012575255431421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686658492580274,0.0,0.12737935486717133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635857083103915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299065089982195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429044983815144,0.0,0.27304400662257394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803287693560412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Banksyiscracked,2019/03/16,"Therapy isn’t for me The only reason i go is because it makes my mom happy but i hate going. I don’t want to talk to some stranger, i don’t even want to talk to my mom about it so why can’t people let me be. i have to go back in a week to talking about the same thing i did last time probably. Ugh",-1.713857142857144,-0.030692742857137745,1.4767857142857146,100.05946428571433,90.71428571428572,4.642857142857143,15.892857142857142,5.985473137389443,-0.7822857142857145,228,5,61,2,8,81,46,70,0.129,0.794,0.077,-0.7579,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,3,0,9,0,0,2,0,7,16,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,10,1,10,13,2,8,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508862825105065,0.0,0.11502182183514514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462596007515807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217054495497701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086078164037136,0.0,0.18628931282114167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538050592530333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929452044716723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595001354954752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4419757831707332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350493856973373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308117828306393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20343646048449404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19400162460938708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4549783026274195,0.0,0.0,0.21577998739680654,0.0,0.1253552345680094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100248860025142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22258491998123206,0.0,0.1513533009799274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026063649669074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,djthroawayonthe1n2,2019/03/16,"Finding a quiet spot for online video counseling I live in a small apt with noisy family and unless I schedule sessions where absolutely no one is home, i dont know how ill succeed with it. is there a way i can go to a park or something instead? any advice? i only have access to online  because my counselor isnt in the same province/state.",4.071470588235297,5.370127911764707,5.505176470588236,79.81629411764708,71.3529411764706,7.2047058823529415,29.776470588235288,7.554174236665415,1.994361176470588,270,11,49,3,5,91,54,68,0.068,0.838,0.095,0.4017,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,0,6,1,0,1,0,9,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,6,1,8,8,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,35,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160814962467641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21996398087556016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971782934971935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37909286431129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049294241191197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956366995916949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838298464845128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244568845357116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777652286833902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28562122157505604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21918495585507106,0.24600600515748186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490154115345461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567475960121436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Reddit_Fan12,2019/03/16,"Maybe not as bad as others, but possibly extremely rare. So I’ve had this for quite a long time, I’m not sure what this is, but nonetheless here is what happens;
So the other day I was watching a video about SAS Training (the armed forces inspire me) and after they finish doing a bunch of exercises I felt sore, and exhausted too. My arms hurt as if I had done pushups, pull-ups, my legs hurt like I was running, It was like I had just done it myself.
But I didn’t, I was at home, being a lazy ass watching YouTube.

Another example is;
If someone gets kicked in the stomach I’ll cringe and (most times) even feel it too.
When someone touches a certain type of metal (that really iron smelling one) I can feel it too.
If someone gets hurt in their mouth area, my teeth will hurt as if that was me, but it wasn’t, I was at home.

Seeing someone doing something as ripping open a cardboard box can make me feel the cardboard in my hands.
I watch a couple reviews here and there, whenever the person (for example) runs a knife down there arm to feel it, I can feel that cold blade on my own arm.

I talked to a friend that had a degree in something mental health related, and he thinks it’s
Mirrored Touch Synesthesia.
What do you guys think and what should I do?",3.8305952380952384,4.8819078531746065,4.432698412698414,88.21785714285713,71.65873015873015,7.504761904761906,27.49206349206349,7.793537801064563,1.4640539682539688,977,34,206,12,18,311,142,252,0.135,0.7879999999999999,0.078,-0.951,0,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,2,1,13,12,0,0,15,0,27,14,10,1,2,32,41,22,0,5,11,0,9,2,1,2,4,0,2,2,19,7,0,0,9,2,0,2,4,6,0,1,15,15,25,6,21,23,3,19,0,4,4,1,8,10,1,5,9,139,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256997287446177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009088787343552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263976531681632,0.0,0.07730966657813032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453481513966749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917652055836122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30306282689844155,0.0,0.1150991094595989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261537752303876,0.0,0.1252598176475651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869541697311982,0.10600535262009894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742186318960208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404894468854534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5133160522344961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713005578869135,0.0,0.0,0.10608588898440163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001770924065618,0.0,0.12043087473002635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080613104648873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123062155797285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467050861752196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514141557574338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750216221938662,0.0,0.0,0.07679520177617383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552511246802814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062798901487003,0.1845717611188651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298107367222834,0.0,0.0,0.09635124418129112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362253380872384,0.0,0.0,0.1398005302146655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pathetic09,2019/03/16,"Should I just wait? Hello r/MentalHealth, 

I've been consistently (nearly 24/7) experiencing symptoms of depersonalization and derealization since around 4th grade. In some occasions, they make me completely unable to function (I have to follow people around because I am unable to think for myself; once, I napped in a port-a-potty at a regatta because I was scared of leaving it), but otherwise, it's just annoying. I am completely barred from going to a medical professional for many reasons, so should i just wait it out and hope it gets better? ",9.7575,9.60750891666667,9.96675,57.80325000000002,58.79166666666666,13.096666666666668,38.99166666666667,12.340626583579946,5.240344166666667,440,19,67,13,5,147,67,96,0.06,0.852,0.08800000000000001,0.5514,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,6,4,1,1,3,0,7,3,0,2,0,18,15,4,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,5,1,2,2,2,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,10,2,16,11,1,9,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,2,0,48,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38966225501533497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668291268348775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935632154068883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4589395055319412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143449216105078,0.0,0.12438275165504024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21737661133673708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23174033801328564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460902444600213,0.22188892152238607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22047766259646787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330779514609365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15172944244632014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502375320251372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21911628297807195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810426277950808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22747855363235936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023616604161307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ggt55ggg,2019/03/16,"Thoughts dominated by what people think of me Whenever I'm around anyone else I'm constantly thinking about what other people think of me. It happens when with my brother and sister on the way to school, when I'm with my mom, my dad, my therapist. I've started going to the gym, therapy, joined a sports team, but I'm still constantly thinking that. I'm not necessarily anxious when I think it. I feel like there's some people who I should feel comfortable around. Even posting here I'm thinking of how to type so other people dont think I'm wierd. Even around my girlfriend, who I've never argued with and tells me about how perfect she thinks I am, I'm constantly thinking about what shes thinking of me and trying to be cool. I dont feel like I'd lose her if I stopped, in fact I'd become more energetic and more happy, which I'm sure she'd like. In therapy my therapist had me fill out those charts where it's like ""what you think will happen"", ""what will actually happen"" but I feel they're infective because I dont feel like im having anxious thoughts. What should I tell my therapist?",4.124708904109589,5.395880429223745,5.104289383561646,82.84629708904113,71.1917808219178,8.21472602739726,28.299372146118717,8.660442795831766,2.0509015981735157,870,32,173,15,16,285,108,219,0.026,0.759,0.215,0.992,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,3,18,12,1,0,3,1,13,1,0,2,4,43,45,13,0,3,4,4,5,5,1,4,1,0,0,0,16,11,0,1,18,3,0,2,5,2,0,0,3,6,26,10,22,36,3,22,0,1,0,0,16,8,0,2,15,102,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.07774956924664475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001611994349942,0.0,0.055709367579577534,0.08163462873869462,0.0,0.21277817121565384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856805511631314,0.08799281134747075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25829533759810397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801292596895379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655675146062896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524682014737936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014258684961138,0.1707556918231332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04528012672049156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113642946770456,0.08481362369131337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606074906941202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19462155302654127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891339530171087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331231176236192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144889858822297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22094151447148844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630492058340359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063355169945821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056393114848593134,0.0,0.06362713602284649,0.06661037904522901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509106649915248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392758111909856,0.0,0.1822265402108813,0.27752024600964165,0.0,0.5615652020183545,0.0,0.1265032734200061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054092886163264464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324089316797021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RazerPSN,2019/03/16,"I become aggressive / violent when angry and I don't want to. What should I do? A recent relationship with a toxic girl (I don't like saying that, but unfortunately it is true) showed me I'm aggressive when angry.

​

During a discussion in which the girl got angry for a minor reason, I tried to calm her down and explain the situation. After an hour of receiving nothing but ""no"" or insults with the sole purpose of hurting me, I became angry and aggressive to the point which I grabbed a plant and threw it on the ground.

​

I consider myself a good guy, I'm usually very emphatic so I don't want to become an aggressive monster.

​

My dad used to be like this when I was a kid, I was kind of a rebel and often the solution was violence, for example once he grabbed and placed my head in the plate because I didn't want to eat a vegetable soup, I still remember the ""I'll kill you"" eyes when he got angry, but he's still a dad that loves me.

​

I know the best solution is probably to see a psychotherapist, but in the meantime I would like to do something.

​

How can I deal with this? Is there something I could read? What's your advice?",4.791866883116885,5.8728957922078,5.876122835497835,78.64846996753245,69.43290043290042,9.238203463203462,30.887716450216452,9.516144504307137,2.842283333333333,932,38,177,20,16,310,121,231,0.257,0.6509999999999999,0.092,-0.9894,1,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,0,2,0,1,10,18,8,0,23,0,17,5,2,3,1,28,30,17,1,6,5,2,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,4,10,9,2,0,4,2,0,2,5,9,0,0,7,5,26,9,22,19,1,20,0,1,2,1,20,8,0,2,13,121,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079503291203575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4407634212227621,0.4943018064267055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04959582725681886,0.1797097397035853,0.0,0.0,0.08538148518527246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495871939043872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387778655147833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325079659043857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824025627967949,0.13014080604975886,0.0,0.0,0.08055842215443848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349803504387783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012244619259895,0.0,0.08709673104716635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001192599577193,0.08472311097103097,0.04471290129192546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924402039046543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342987532991774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806636884123111,0.0,0.0,0.08664491733080798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500307171854192,0.0,0.07691076346072134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771900315045021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138124006789997,0.0,0.0,0.08365083171313026,0.080332417568027,0.08734935777729465,0.09216413974717516,0.0,0.0,0.06470011973452784,0.0,0.0,0.06483276720189071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145117558971738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526860959904587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299471613379589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055237571929762815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026824651596282,0.08960568990753467,0.06712987969013817,0.14396333319929586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057795257784829725,0.0,0.4943018064267055,0.0
mentalhealth,shortseller2,2019/03/16,"How to mentally process occasionally seeing your ex? I’m a 21F and most days I feel completely fine, mentally. I feel really lucky that I have a great family, amazing friends, and I just got my dream job. But my love life is a disaster. Every time I see a picture of my ex-boyfriend, hear his name, see him around campus, or talk to him, I get visibly angry/upset and I normally start crying. 

I’ve been able to get some of my emotions under control when I’m in public, but some nights I think about him and I get depressed, angry, cry, don’t sleep, and get inside my head.

This has been going on for a year so I think there is something wrong but I don’t know how to address it. I’m happy, healthy, and a functioning adult except for when it come to him. Any advice on how to improve my mental health?",1.3372464814146492,3.550628895705522,3.207080476362325,89.14711295561173,82.12883435582822,6.289281847708409,21.8581739444244,7.5105763829236425,0.8987050884157339,622,20,130,10,17,208,101,163,0.127,0.7120000000000001,0.161,0.4025,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,1,10,9,0,0,6,0,8,5,2,4,0,29,29,16,0,1,6,1,2,0,1,0,2,1,1,1,4,8,0,1,5,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,6,23,7,17,26,3,14,0,1,3,1,14,5,0,5,7,79,27,2,0.13614694116639448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330412152023178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925845886706932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119964246582192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727853454081187,0.14274747750901184,0.0,0.1527003713274972,0.0,0.0,0.29910204380687977,0.087803513896901,0.0,0.1172631609285484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314698393489534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470966990211068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834721936420834,0.0,0.13767996842319308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518678901806656,0.0,0.2845246300066827,0.0,0.0773754441723524,0.0,0.10888914611053556,0.15010248327687473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449309505137109,0.0,0.0,0.13972604003019815,0.1447178319418878,0.15344749755281592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510483128999473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482279831494018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616461088921853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287792993414676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116122837802469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776468143793265,0.13339509561038632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721921675286401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32547445531716523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362452648590662,0.0,0.0,0.10481256684762497,0.0,0.0,0.0963655057020345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109429754155076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744749250537725,0.0,0.0,0.07938837625882293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488553074605694,0.0,0.08767416635835254
mentalhealth,zeroDib,2019/03/16,"angry without any reason. Sometimes (usually when I'm alone) I grit my teeth and murmur shit that has no meaning at all, this happens a lot. Does everyone have this kind of moment when they are alone. Or this is just me, I wonder. ",1.8053333333333328,4.300461088888891,3.128888888888892,88.66000000000004,82.55555555555556,5.377777777777778,22.333333333333336,6.742157984588678,0.7484666666666668,179,6,34,2,5,58,39,45,0.231,0.769,0.0,-0.8779,0,2,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,4,2,2,1,1,9,8,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,3,8,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,4,25,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5081753717661417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16683267716351186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146897618025484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23442313790458855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21694433250612388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25547323501652097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20857062344116484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26723607381007275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522398946951218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518275148895707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24263744591569114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27019611548957906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23648917321817564,0.26604970374294745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Morty_Smith420,2019/03/16,"I want to go to work, but yet i dont want to go? This is really annoying im already unable to understand myself and then things like this come up in my head. What can I do? How do i understand how this works?",-1.214057971014494,0.7916412173913088,2.021739130434785,94.22289855072464,93.34782608695652,6.544927536231885,16.36231884057971,7.793537801064563,0.4449101449275368,160,4,39,4,6,57,31,46,0.086,0.7759999999999999,0.138,-0.1728,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,3,2,1,0,0,0,5,1,1,2,0,9,12,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,6,12,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,28,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777764047180957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168322472002392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29501091223184844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286113592801919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25833466772724145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271897981508195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229764044540828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16125660882117407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672298522871235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.524093370945132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29693888267272955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665065229810038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,just-wondering98,2019/03/16,"How are you meant to deal with intrusive thoughts like the kind Bojack Horseman gets in S04E06 ""stupid piece of sh*t"" I've never really seen intrusive thoughts portrayed so accurately than they are in this episode in BoJack Horseman, however he isn't exactly dealing with them in a healthy way, what are some healthier coping strategies? ",15.56431034482759,11.26030232758621,12.402758620689655,57.79310344827587,51.58620689655172,16.427586206896553,54.86206896551725,13.816669648895859,7.295524137931035,277,15,42,7,2,82,48,58,0.054000000000000006,0.81,0.13699999999999998,0.6369,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,2,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,2,9,9,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,1,3,2,9,5,2,6,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,1,2,25,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6519083349899691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518414400137413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32923914947611205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544631659669695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24384738672354955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025445974143436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5020023685396902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509585507205211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lindamood626,2019/03/16,"Looking for advice. So *very* long story short, I recently realized I've got some more issues than I had originally thought, and that I should probably seek out professional help. Issue is, I turn 26 in a little over a month, at which time I will no longer be covered by my parents insurance. Should I schedule counseling sessions now, and only go for a month at most, or just wait until I graduate (estimated spring of '21) to start any real treatment? ",5.531428571428571,7.005187380952384,6.58666666666667,72.775,68.04761904761905,9.885714285714286,33.04761904761905,10.125756701596842,3.634847619047618,356,16,61,9,6,119,70,84,0.029,0.935,0.036000000000000004,0.128,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,0,14,13,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,8,0,12,6,3,19,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,3,11,41,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21422348889428586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908006945604574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245902450615739,0.0,0.17533373208479378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469414547738295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45762651162712703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21972038206105,0.0,0.19400664326636585,0.1840932334443932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34996555505256105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667299900170001,0.0,0.0,0.2434226873155235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363609180543372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24952529446298286,0.0,0.0,0.21645758939299775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516811695652927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403963921944107,0.12783147623805716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384531312386554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18088304041969527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DensetsuZ,2019/03/16,"Seeking advice on mysterious odd anxiety symptoms Hey reddit folks, I have a lifelong serious aversion to doing anything I consider ""organizing"" like dishes/laundry/tidying up/showering/brushing teeth/throwing out trash/punctuality and addressing things like paying bills or going through mail etc. I can't bring myself do to these things without feeling dread and stalling as long as possible but after I eventual do them there is no problem completing the task it's just before I start I feel mental anguish at just the idea of handling things. It has been so bad at times that as a teen I'd often starve because I couldn't wash a pot in the sink to be able to cook and even went so far once to just throw all the dishes out and go buy NEW pots and pans to avoid it. Mind you we're not talking dirty filthy disgusting dishes just mildly used and completely rinsed ones that just need a quick 2 min wash with a sponge. I couldn't bring myself to do that simple 2 min wash without wanting to cry and rather just be dead then go through with it. An INTENSE feeling of anguish but when I have some momentum and get started on tasks I'm fine handling them and the dread isn't always constant its sometimes stronger typically when more tasks are pending or one is critically needed. I also feel like things are wrong when I don't address things so it's not like I'm just lazy and wanna ignore stuff I actively WANT to address them and get on with my day and not doing them makes the rest of the day feel off or bad. I otherwise seem normal and nobody can tell that I'm going through this crap on a daily basis though I've casually called myself ""OCD"" not from any diagnosis just based off how ignoring tasks makes me feel horrible and throws off my day. I plan on seeing a professional but I don't really know what professional I should see since I don't have even a guess at what my problem could be. I have a nephew who is diagnosed OCD and I'm def not like that I don't habitually organize anything or repeat stuff like washing hands it's just this mental block when dealing with chores/errands/self care. I would say it's the tediousness of the tasks but I am totally capable of doing repetitive tedious work in other aspects without the same dread though I do stall going to work I love it once I'm there. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated I'm just hoping to get an idea of what to look into or who to talk to about it and to see if anyone else has any experience with this stuff as I haven't been able to nail it down off googling. Thanks for reading :-)",5.457554112554114,6.294657944444449,5.888982683982687,80.04389610389612,67.76984126984127,8.807503607503609,30.550505050505052,8.927757054556999,2.4091753968253973,2060,77,394,34,33,663,252,504,0.165,0.698,0.13699999999999998,-0.9576,1,1,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,1,4,3,29,29,2,6,21,0,39,12,2,4,2,93,82,42,1,17,29,1,7,6,0,3,6,1,3,0,34,24,3,4,10,3,3,10,18,16,0,2,3,12,36,13,60,69,7,49,0,0,4,1,17,19,1,11,26,260,70,6,0.15496805058421576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143298549807818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06196394703189138,0.06447291615888359,0.0,0.0,0.15807538271723134,0.0,0.059275067265358965,0.0,0.0,0.05417863207756535,0.07939154055024221,0.1275255014971637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939184921802288,0.04723354263734759,0.0,0.06593319855545922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911985305662089,0.0,0.07900012782488659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248105264700582,0.08373270463648376,0.0,0.06186468926322705,0.0,0.0851125634138519,0.14991235865979302,0.07988262776402996,0.0,0.07864465464557045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472796059859208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641517017778083,0.10235493587238097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579424475443934,0.0,0.0,0.23506950793292994,0.055354603150722166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214466155397574,0.0,0.2201797859678424,0.0,0.0,0.0854264114271879,0.08535738948550993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695912033089061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494006633363232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04258319391822034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22712868533057545,0.0,0.0,0.06857092410343536,0.06506706639493705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993235800445143,0.0,0.10344237711159793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561713461144008,0.0,0.07823677733233722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490684591515694,0.0,0.07483455446064037,0.0,0.0,0.07591789336997297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650359162621487,0.10501036168053662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735159632811917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148283495516715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775049935697741,0.0,0.04963825069398528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061618406893336926,0.0,0.0,0.18523420880171165,0.07053854652946509,0.08083273701767199,0.0,0.0,0.06409558641945573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663368227529123,0.0,0.10968718381968694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661020132064906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053557038190455,0.0,0.1245574489741671,0.06772445335196255,0.07133688018186286,0.0,0.0,0.25738471719170825,0.0,0.15225532288322327,0.0,0.04518155825785354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692131982549103,0.0,0.0,0.09140417131831334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182846772501511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22407550607310425,0.0,0.11281858648588368,0.0,0.0,0.11008485688444376,0.08471661801085105,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WillSellOrgans4Karma,2019/03/16,"Just addressed my trauma and thoughts of suicide Hey so I don't usually post on reddit but figured this might be a good spot to get a different view on it. 

I'm not sure if this is the right area but, 

People who have discovered they experienced sexual abuse have you had thoughts of suicide? not necessarily wanting to act on it and if so does it get better? 
I've just started therapy but my concern is if it's like this now will it get worse? I'm going to tell my therapist these thoughts and I'm aware of the hotline and everything so don't feel obligated to rush to my aid just merely curious of others experiences

Thanks ",3.697680000000002,5.398656408000001,5.238600000000002,79.76830000000002,72.92,8.840000000000002,30.1,9.3871,2.79164,501,22,98,12,10,169,78,125,0.16399999999999998,0.7140000000000001,0.122,-0.7954,1,0,0,0,1,2,5.0,0,1,1,1,7,6,0,0,4,0,10,0,0,0,1,23,24,13,2,4,11,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,11,4,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,4,3,7,5,12,17,0,12,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,4,4,63,18,0,0.0,0.2102662342695178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569527951207518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854124732463856,0.0,0.0,0.1553002476395158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949351383018945,0.17359418596960774,0.0,0.0,0.08973130701436083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781533931988059,0.0,0.10085707915128043,0.14884867612404915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670011680537057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882616297316422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303143468661196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699617905757698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515535843177095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561017956024972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38823438814942623,0.0,0.16725804864039187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551116630023814,0.16338532938619466,0.20294594914633365,0.2060497871443339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226606102156836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19545190834651505,0.0,0.10467307092798632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085133273954807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zula8989,2019/03/16,"Going all over Reddit, to ask for a favour I just wanna start off by saying that I HATE MYSELF so much right now for doing this. None of you could imagine, but I REALLY need to reach out to some of you, so here I am, slowly regretting it, but doing it anyway.

I'm only 18 years old, I'm a university student studying Mechatronic Engineering. I've suffered from depression. Or at least I think that I have. I've been so lonely for as long as I can remember. And I still get this feeling of emptiness from time to time.

But being the little boy that I am, I've always looked up to superheroes. Especially to how they went through the most horrible things, but instead of hurting others, or themselves, they chose to help people out. I figured that it does make things a bit easier. And it was true. Even the tiniest of gestures. Seeing somebody happy made ME happy.

Now I don't know what I'm doing here. I think this may even be a huge mistake. But at least I'll go down trying, right?

So I thought long and hard and came up with an idea.  I want to do what I can to make sure that NOBODY feels this way, because it's dark, and lonely out there and because nobody should go through any of it. So I went online and built a website. I called it Alleviate. Which is a word that means to make problems less severe. It's just a community. It came to mind that people may not be able to afford therapists. So I thought that one approach could be to have all of us help each other out under one platform. You can follow a certain topic ranging from ADHD, postpartum depression, anxiety, and many more. There is a full disclaimer that the site doesn't offer a cure, or any of that, It's just a place for ranting and helping each other feel even just a LITTLE better.

Here's a link to the website: [https://alleviate.mn.co](https://alleviate.mn.co/)

I promise, all I want to do is help and all I ask from you is for any of you to just check it out, and if you want to join, you can sign up. I want a place for us and ONLY us. And while there is this subreddit and many more, it still doesn't feel like ours. And if I see that this idea helps people and actually benefits them, I'll turn it into a real thing from scratch.

All I ask for you to do is check it out and if you feel like you could maybe benefit from it, please sign up. The number of members that I get there would be an indicator of whether this should be built or not. All I want to do is help. I'm not making any money from this whatsoever. Its ALL free and I'm not planning or going to allow any advertising or anything. It's just something that I wanted to do that was ""good"". I'm just an 18 year old kid in his first year of university. If you hate  on me after this, I understand.  I feel like a dipshit for posting something like this here, because I'm the type that hates the people that do this and here I am doing it. I deserve whatever comes my way.

Thanks anyway though.",3.099518306512582,4.619461277495773,4.368526478741405,86.13891996975916,74.1269035532995,6.924880296648308,24.080390250927024,7.53845456269673,1.002814854015912,2289,68,476,28,47,754,243,591,0.123,0.733,0.14400000000000002,0.7834,1,4,2,0,0,0,85.0,4,11,3,3,34,29,3,0,27,0,46,0,0,7,10,121,102,46,0,21,27,0,8,4,0,5,0,2,0,2,54,32,0,0,19,0,4,11,8,12,0,3,10,13,54,18,75,78,20,61,0,7,3,0,33,30,0,14,21,352,108,2,0.06617168610223245,0.0,0.06457402025530233,0.0,0.07952550758742713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055060143740308966,0.0,0.0,0.22499507836660945,0.0,0.050621158748338224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05445365946908028,0.0,0.18558478195370812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101293699360738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852347897239156,0.07224234290719486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675686899484136,0.15136556112526905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05700104833556097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849812074058725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398715255506266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579072884311872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311173237714688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075035637995475,0.14181919731948875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056285602394737407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914394970558205,0.0,0.15042757655601335,0.05550167080816998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408819806266594,0.059276833303859786,0.19599252137840026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661209181302855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083815856780439,0.1493995583282109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03636622814269275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931257347431924,0.13264282680024594,0.0,0.11711971979789985,0.05556755056086945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261324935436732,0.17668045721921485,0.13417540730169006,0.06647835276881436,0.0720803650598406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681453953597041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864380309692736,0.04906546678641525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887210657714247,0.0,0.08967929407913876,0.100653098182247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350046140396795,0.0,0.13827065610275682,0.07263664035585651,0.0,0.0,0.06337418374243373,0.0,0.0,0.06331736691842514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531786561006776,0.042391276539951166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495962095454656,0.11302051675071255,0.0,0.05262238072549941,0.0,0.0,0.10546053309279743,0.0,0.0,0.07475517027391193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188439363516502,0.0,0.0,0.046836660006959366,0.0,0.10568958799738877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623660310416161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609219981165279,0.0,0.07683042774695263,0.13188458381696652,0.08480028911746511,0.06501334562344224,0.10506585463221776,0.07717048460963043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04492623123986171,0.07197579280122736,0.0,0.06888705890227384,0.2387891726285125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23417864947419675,0.105048008778985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268363192504796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04700646724860173,0.0,0.0,0.1278371889776652
mentalhealth,Zinzure,2019/03/16,"Not eating often? Hello there person.  


I have no clue what is wrong with me and what is happening with me mentally. Lately I've been not eating as much, I've gotten to the point I don't eat unless it's the normal time, if I don't wake up in time for a normal time to eat I don't eat at all, let's say for example; if I miss breakfast/lunch I don't eat unless it's dinner. Do you understand my point? I've been replacing my snacks with water and been feeling more slow probably due to the fact of me not eating.  


I have no idea what is happening and I've talked to my boyfriend about this because earlier today I've flipped out at dinner and threw my food/headphones because my brother commented on my weight because I'm a big guy over 200 pounds which is unhealthy for the age of 14.   


If you could tell me what's happening, please do.",3.0103692307692285,4.109523531428575,4.426857142857145,87.30068131868134,73.68571428571428,7.670329670329671,24.89010989010989,8.139509932561175,1.3290835164835162,658,20,141,10,13,219,93,175,0.081,0.8959999999999999,0.024,-0.8426,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,0,17,13,1,0,2,25,26,10,0,6,8,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,8,8,12,0,3,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,5,3,19,0,23,19,3,19,0,1,0,0,10,10,0,4,8,90,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19225888886887715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393778202132822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7530199329694762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315690676895709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712366104988454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409526761355273,0.27889844016362914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867901810861828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859126368372107,0.0,0.0,0.10750258815371856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594635295388044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728267544044268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20601023495304405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179549542553192,0.0,0.1154012133985553,0.1987637366942976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334796367082392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836036270110028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449954348466232,0.09188828830584052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839065143750386,0.0,0.09965098490096402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944407871611027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802006589782675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149431945891264,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,destixy,2019/03/16,"Am I (18f) unable to be vulnerable? I started therapy for my mental health after my first suicide attempt 7 years ago. Since then, i’ve been in and out of hospitals, seeing different and new therapists, attempting another time, and recently..relapsing. I have just gotten out of a 4 year relationship 6 months ago. So, on top of my regular problems i also have that. 

The problem is whenever i go to a therapist i, in some type of way, always end up quitting. I have noticed since my last therapist that it happens when i start to gain progress in therapy. 

I think i’m afraid to be vulnerable and let someone in. I want to, but after everything that’s happened I don’t know if i ever want to again. I’m trying to cope but my mental health really breaks my heart. ",3.767612612612613,5.558003689189191,5.803783783783783,75.41936936936938,72.91891891891892,9.798198198198197,31.25225225225225,10.125756701596842,3.585984684684685,598,28,109,18,12,208,96,148,0.07,0.868,0.062,-0.2757,1,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,1,3,0,10,3,1,0,1,18,23,11,1,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,2,1,18,0,22,18,1,30,0,0,1,0,1,9,0,2,18,73,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22157804022031316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994807656737673,0.10399505308229656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105454578333364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057961026174286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069697345452433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305339281684447,0.0,0.0,0.11232578105760216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063096427139278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103016241097837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22104237577877892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26570008654683624,0.0,0.14810429595120142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868684985530728,0.10187702776246843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780258366051142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25190496097737003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975945629349407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070841412455614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229285861240884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23918182868426785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329337630473616,0.0,0.0,0.08006668262239079,0.0,0.0,0.13418391670526708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995944887902977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677283762396656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058968603116824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17692583465071365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671004492613476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858556652605822,0.43534127605430695,0.0,0.08008343212613807,0.0,0.0,0.07287802118004452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485458782332507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474352676210004,0.09920491036751873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096864689549958
mentalhealth,cacyl99,2019/03/16,Going back to therapy? I had a bad experience with a therapist. She made me feel very invalidated about my feelings. I tried to open up about my suicide attempts but she just did not seem to care? Since then I have tried twice to go back to a therapist. Everytime I have a panic attack and cancel last minute. No idea what to do.,1.3275769230769257,3.896170123076928,3.3725961538461564,85.35427884615387,86.23076923076924,6.9423076923076925,21.971153846153847,8.07648339933343,1.4495,258,9,52,6,8,87,47,65,0.312,0.688,0.0,-0.9709,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,1,4,0,5,0,0,1,0,11,12,3,1,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,3,2,9,1,10,9,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283869315537395,0.0,0.3087352398201205,0.1676214061599868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046823287997604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637616992653184,0.0,0.0,0.20301475300638192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281865236796937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266271027872468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364150115151846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189958517361912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355418475074937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827591216789515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660659831234814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21959255649236628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295799710852019,0.4661822950760067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2725979042768616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564327394004716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,juicy-moosey,2019/03/16,"I can’t tell if I’m happy or sad I used to have depression really badly, and I feel like ever since, my life has just been a constant series of events, neither happy or sad. Like, I always few like I should be happy or sad, but I just can’t feel anything. I don’t really know how to explain it. If anyone knows why or what this is could you tell me? Or if anyone has experienced something similar. Im just worried that I might never actually be able to feel something again, and feel that I will inevitably just end my life from numbness.",4.496415584415583,4.873615654545453,5.878571428571429,80.90500000000003,69.72727272727272,8.467532467532468,27.532467532467532,8.418075326091056,1.8138831168831169,422,13,85,6,7,143,67,110,0.146,0.742,0.111,-0.5922,0,0,2,0,0,1,12.0,0,1,0,0,7,12,0,0,1,0,14,3,0,2,2,29,23,12,0,5,13,0,4,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,5,13,6,5,16,2,6,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,9,9,59,18,0,0.1516075445433589,0.0,0.14794709382309698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614962208724814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21201504039141256,0.0,0.12476009135920994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658596704233852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383389608444393,0.0,0.12104628789969515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305793559624838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427928496213815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371377037351977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30662931927257586,0.10830846011439536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841671508917234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376216409208946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666390832024223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141697845574604,0.2222033648130376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083164641890393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692908466049315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424735033504514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254113275154034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334297893279052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650233526078334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094024139937002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680222790530966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396482068912096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RuthIsKindaOkay,2019/03/16,"My horrible first job stories part 1 My first job is so terrible, the story is so long and detailed I can't even explain it in one post. But I'll pull out some stories just to get things off my chest. 

​

Background: When I was 17 I got my first job. I worked full time, went to high school full time and moved out at 18. I was trying to save and escape from a abusive household. Children's services wouldn't help me and said I just need to leave when I'm 18. Thus, my first job at 17. 

Story 1: When I was a new employee - about 2 months in - I was pretty much the goody goody of the work place. I tried to work harder then the rest since I felt like I had something to work harder for. One night, it was just me and 1 other employee in the back. At about a few minutes past 10 someone had driven into the drive through. They ordered fries and a sandwich. We had some old fries that looked quiet nasty sitting in the fry stand. I already knew the fresh rule. So I began to open a new bag and tried to pour a handful of fries in the fryers. (this process would take about 2:30 min) But they would get fresh fries. The other employee came around the corner and yelled, ""What are you doing??? We are trying to get out of here."" ""But... I was taught to-"" ""Who cares!"" she grabbed the bag and put it back and used the old fries. She put them on the serving stand and yelled ""DRIVE THRU!"". She had been there for 4 years so I wasn't about to argue. I just went back to cleaning the prep tables. But when the co-manager walked past. She looked at me and yelled, ""WTH IS THIS?"" I looked her holding the old fries. ""DO YOU HONESTLY THINK WE ARE GONNA SERVE THESE? Put some new ones on NOW!"" I couldn't even speak about it... I just took the blame. No one stood up for me anyway. I guess you can argue, why didn't you say the other person did it? Because it was one of those, ""Don't be a snitch"" and also, ""So what if she said to do it, you should have been assertive and did the right thing!"" But I felt like she had power over me. 

​

Story 2: A employee (who was a girl) would slap me on my butt on multiple occasions. I told her to stop. When she asked why, I told her about my abuse at home. One of the most annoying and shameful things my mom would do was poke me in the butt whenever she walked by. Idk if any other parents does this. But like with a pool or a stick or just slap my butt. It wasn't a sexual thing- just something to make me jump. But I told my co-worker that it was the reason why I didn't like it. It made me jump. But she just laughed and told the other employees like it was a joke. It may have sounded that way- but I made it clear it was quite traumatizing for me anyway. Considering the home life I came from. Everyone just told me to grow up and get over it.

​

Story 3: My main manager (the boss) would come into work everyday always in a bad mood. Even when things were quiet and clean she always found someone or something to argue and yell about. I guess she was upset she was 45 and all she had to live up to was being a manager at a burger joint. Dispute me working their for 7 months. The manager never gave me my raise. Dispute it being due literally after 3 months (after I take my trainee's exams). I took them and passed and she never got to it. Even when I asked it was, ""I'm too busy."" and yet people who had just started got their raises before me. Finally she called me in for evaluation. When I sat down she gave me a paper with my results. She wrote my attitude was the worst part about me. I was confused. My attitude? I worked in the back without customers. I was quiet and only spoke to vent sometimes to my co-workers. But I never spoke out of line. I asked her about this and she replied, ""It's not the way you speak. You just always look depressed."" ""But... I have depression. I work in the back, it's not hurting any of the customers or my work performance. "" ""But when I have a bad day, I like to come into work leaving my baggage behind... and seeing you down makes me feel more down. It affects me."" Coming from the person who always bring their baggage to work to begin with!!! then she said, ""Just put on your happy face for work!"" Dispute me saying I can't just pretend to be happy all the time. 

​

I still have more but that is all for now...",1.2100057391370882,3.2947227185017063,2.414489153030903,95.38287313956309,81.74687854710555,5.2308331951689215,19.433496154778148,6.333368852079128,-0.10751285949317024,3309,84,738,28,89,1056,328,881,0.08199999999999999,0.853,0.064,-0.9741,11,0,3,0,1,0,171.0,3,9,7,20,56,28,4,3,52,0,68,8,6,10,7,126,134,62,0,11,35,2,5,6,0,9,1,17,4,4,48,46,1,2,8,3,0,25,16,14,0,10,68,27,124,13,101,52,18,132,0,3,5,3,78,45,3,14,61,520,172,25,0.0,0.10336981139463253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048137932689106135,0.034884476594707364,0.14518790635332152,0.18905756104508653,0.21202189075482056,0.05932887593232827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038832804974017365,0.12234197058211935,0.0,0.0,0.1677130256952994,0.0728450518697412,0.026591550273090625,0.0,0.037119086694692514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0445429123601478,0.09978383373563914,0.04447550942272546,0.0,0.0,0.11272940332508485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028132564270173462,0.0,0.07514308402781397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03817388313394007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524760883793103,0.0,0.0,0.041682665233433856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02205658058815821,0.0,0.08376787115074391,0.04778573994531616,0.0,0.14841931412439802,0.0,0.04782924258326493,0.0,0.0,0.09116272327675988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466543189407833,0.0,0.09610904399489163,0.0,0.0,0.0928728042673064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029238889448474206,0.04608901020942613,0.0875127926462609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046698225039570204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731523116006349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237874323063318,0.0,0.0,0.030811490067855336,0.1278689574652692,0.0,0.038519001954354384,0.0386040740066576,0.14652588567814914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255233246951964,0.058236012328155985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05108952836148719,0.10445592964938637,0.0463632545259452,0.032067169866175464,0.03234514075447676,0.1009318659428432,0.12639112202845798,0.0,0.04093626726865815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732177012586866,0.0,0.1773562698819552,0.03317647666790706,0.0,0.0,0.048437039463261916,0.09447669313838933,0.08328421962068662,0.030241984033595768,0.07617804968537213,0.04557567803569525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04177779256176633,0.044379229618992856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754085280885716,0.0,0.046397338547540336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485065417634942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037252927179504985,0.12448345891410975,0.06937988866227185,0.0,0.0441477662339789,0.03476106526997445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036084547408233365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392151348716723,0.1007469795556804,0.04314324738420456,0.0,0.030875857494422405,0.0,0.034836564532640814,0.0364699232622945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655965907771392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449025049693555,0.027951199358447285,0.0,0.0,0.07630897096083791,0.0,0.0,0.2084133261671693,0.09693123564641924,0.11846582683883325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03767537942568036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925018454883071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808760132693729,0.11808613885682973,0.0,0.0,0.04205002597737097,0.0,0.4446024292775356,0.0,0.0,0.15493899264682906,0.0,0.21202189075482056,0.028091120849746395
mentalhealth,throwawayshfjfhfhjdb,2019/03/16,"Should I stop indulging in “rescue” daydreams? I feel super helpless. And incompetent. My friends tell me I can’t do anything- and they’re right. I’m nearly 18, I’m too scared to drive, and I can’t even tie my own hair up! I had a job that was super short lived because I had a breakdown at work because I kept getting yelled at for messing up, and I’m not used to being yelled at that much. Basically I’m useless, and it’s embarrasing.
But I like to daydream. A lot. I spend hours just in my own head. And what I like to daydream about when I’m feeling really down is someone coming to rescue me. Like, protecting me from bad guys. Or comforting me when I’m having a panic attack. Or maybe tending to, like, my wounds or something. Stuff like that. I think I like to imagine that someone would actually put themselves in danger to help me.
My question is, should I stop this? I have a few major concerns when I think about it.
1) Is it selfish? 
2) I daydream too much- and although it’s usually the highlight of my day, I can feel myself becoming more detached. Is this because of my constant daydreaming?
3) Main point! I’m concerned that if I keep expecting someone to save me, I’ll never learn to save myself. And by that I mean actually becoming not-helpless. 
But the rescue fantasies are so comforting! And fun! And it’s nice to imagine someone who cares about you that much.
Idk. Should I keep doing them because it comforts me? Or should I stop them for my own good?",1.2074733637747317,3.7486695342465763,2.8486757990867595,89.08578386605784,86.53424657534245,5.162252663622526,25.234398782343987,6.691623216298621,1.1101161339421617,1152,50,225,14,36,378,148,292,0.118,0.66,0.222,0.9869,1,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,2,3,11,27,2,2,7,0,21,3,2,1,1,47,42,22,0,7,9,0,4,6,1,5,1,2,0,1,18,11,0,7,10,1,1,3,4,9,0,0,4,6,41,18,30,32,11,27,0,2,0,0,9,13,0,7,17,155,59,3,0.0,0.0,0.2154211967638694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082965908443856,0.0,0.0,0.12556810315875752,0.0,0.0,0.09215895969669632,0.2691356018824825,0.24380220894802646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125352120747568,0.0,0.0,0.09507874839365783,0.0,0.11927673958637924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118308766876152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290199859441213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16742755775141666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527586302594235,0.0,0.057666660429641615,0.0,0.0,0.09257776037963604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928913092309096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132771402378866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398239317823596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869766658331707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953068531495716,0.19621369042515527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323543460949757,0.0,0.09746361784506814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383733112153833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088705841551473,0.12023131317344644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434161502611181,0.0,0.08512841551381259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950190628164698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434055524498057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095789662884704,0.12364585762871202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070939279047421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942601021318254,0.0,0.0,0.11050516373733356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740833238400076,0.08497247779243773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27683666372410365,0.0,0.0,0.1263535782123069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647308087277792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144836960268434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953290219425676,0.12156305590226722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035470261709945,0.0,0.0,0.07840761184064522,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whichusernamefits,2019/03/16,"Antidepressants and sleep I’ve been on antidepressants now for 5 years, 5 different meds all to the max dosage. Currently on 225mg of Venlafaxine and when I forget to take my med I will sleep for a long time 12-18 hours if I don’t get up. When I do take my med (I always do because withdrawal is the most awful thing) I sleep for no more than 4 hours a night for weeks, no matter what I do during the day I will not sleep, has anyone else had this experience?",5.783437499999998,4.646384635416666,6.648,81.59700000000002,67.22916666666666,10.596666666666668,27.53333333333333,9.888512548439397,2.033885833333333,359,8,82,7,5,120,64,96,0.112,0.863,0.026,-0.8122,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,1,10,4,4,0,1,8,13,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,10,0,11,9,3,15,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,12,51,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717335475860791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068677951615648,0.15660046346200807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316854940332284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856778477109733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596830484515068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767643200317252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14950476806513946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985148101676556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30102903809851844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352567089666255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5093052695602607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342799123175462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6117930067572649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298301206866465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153869221054287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891209934216851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259732348801708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842257987240403
mentalhealth,mazaltovcocktail,2019/03/16,"Vent post: I just need to get this out for my own piece of mind it is preferred if no one reads it or maybe I am being passive-aggressive I am filled with guilt, I feel I have been given nemours once in a lifetime opportunities have ruined them simply by laziness and being undisciplined. What's worse is that I recognize the negative aspects that are a holding back, and have tied to overcome them. but each time I didn't give it me all, I should have tried harder. My goal is to be a concept artist, which means I need to tune unnecessary critique, listen to the critique that has value and implement in my work. But at the end I still depreptly cling to any type of praise in order to move forward. Now I fee stuck, my anxiety creates this wall I start to work on something and my anxiety makes me so anxious about the possibilities of the piece I can't move forward. when I force myself to draw any way it is a tortuous experience.

Next week I will got to a illustrator conference and I will put on my big girl pants and walk around pretending to be a bamf , but underneath it all I feel like crying, I have now doubt that concept and illustration is where I want to be, I am just disgusted with my self for being unable to attain it.",5.0278010204081625,5.738370685714287,5.842283163265308,80.44954719387755,68.6734693877551,9.227040816326527,30.006377551020414,9.354420925462401,2.475658163265306,978,36,196,19,16,321,144,245,0.128,0.7959999999999999,0.076,-0.8973,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,6,11,7,1,2,11,0,27,0,0,1,2,33,41,14,0,6,7,0,2,1,0,3,0,1,0,2,14,12,0,1,4,3,1,7,4,4,0,1,5,3,32,3,31,27,6,32,1,1,0,0,7,14,0,3,13,145,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21748960928628114,0.0,0.2446625970159172,0.18065364910461276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235448503900133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296150856556184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565446792571293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163347489260097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642341389056952,0.0,0.0,0.16171137642255504,0.11424028338096855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354677530698075,0.15340097824114526,0.0,0.0,0.12789524791934165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812432299882198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674167821828012,0.0,0.16065185819449804,0.1741897039246944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146428850593852,0.0,0.0,0.3399196749855737,0.0,0.23714361394693803,0.0,0.0,0.17006691408516494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029974716366195,0.10835967375340126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802753619447476,0.1531503106761336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075448775980195,0.0,0.0,0.1599540404027921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682180447061304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310712041429595,0.0,0.0,0.1131856634280463,0.0,0.1277049445150854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324525378525073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856891348465064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431951309608913,0.12692972303829894,0.12827077103980156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328338847574145,0.0,0.16296273239664974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jamesjrg12,2019/03/16,I’m not sure if this is related to mental health but i think it is So I’m hearing this voice in my head not telling me to do anything but like singing i can’t hear the words but I could hear the melody I think I recognize the voice from somewhere but I can’t place who in my life it is. It’s like not anything bad the song is kinda calming again I’m sorry if this has nothing to do with mental health it just sounds like that to me and if it’s not can someone pleas tell me which subreddit I should have posted this to thanks. Also could someone maybe try to explain why you think this might be happening.,0.7392358803986703,2.9122689534883754,1.9074473975636792,97.79877906976746,84.27131782945736,4.926024363233665,20.8421926910299,6.18269132825596,-0.014603986710962856,481,15,110,4,14,152,72,129,0.022,0.82,0.157,0.9615,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,4,0,16,4,1,0,1,25,28,10,0,6,12,0,0,3,0,2,3,7,0,0,13,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,7,13,6,10,23,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,5,4,72,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304595227259835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326553172664717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803012486951138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257297362355073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500463601050288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507667025692564,0.3005192329274181,0.4779707204056379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984711182930192,0.20718482078299028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201563683303145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849163002819949,0.1499611667337755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563922605583792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769165046885616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538429711479433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395486101934631,0.0,0.0,0.15824152248572204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332306118643571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24711064055920845,0.1301457692513424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27173432917003915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597451011195962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755587700088844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Grahamvongsy,2019/03/16,"Need HELP ! Dont know where to turn ? My husband is just gone off the deep end and totally out of control , lost everything job , family everything ... Off meds over a year , thinks people are after to kill him and his  family .  .. tried everything to help him . But he refuses to believe  that he sick ... He's jobless and days from being homeless ... I'm afraid he's going to hurt someone or himself ... Everywhere i turn for help tell me the same thing ..... ( Until he's ready to get help we can't do anything ) ..... I can't do this anymore , I want my husband back ! ",1.0851976994967671,3.5743649532710293,2.8386915887850463,89.37048885693744,86.38317757009347,6.282961897915169,23.18404025880661,7.61054688173877,1.3202500359453633,418,16,84,8,13,138,75,107,0.112,0.758,0.13,-0.2385,2,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,0,2,3,4,1,1,3,0,8,1,0,1,1,16,19,6,1,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,2,0,11,0,15,16,2,14,0,2,0,0,18,6,0,1,6,50,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541985879305338,0.0,0.0,0.12795028282486273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955778441814653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517749624255624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743887981896079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027447302315652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822263733171572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771288800164527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4192176323457741,0.0,0.29315341071304674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123409892663667,0.0,0.08836527770888161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4168712390482711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644909656970994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15429411830139575,0.0,0.17202027656333346,0.0,0.08545007298863196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697294169644227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17270794114484006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528959510646775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779319592130558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174129344936086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590008051425784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329682133485693,0.09962802391977653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556359387856176,0.3382444131487608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917086342280372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012675392070672
mentalhealth,MaoriArcher,2019/03/16,"Sadness I always seem go get sad from time to time, usually on the weekend and for no apparent reason. It cripples me to the couch or my bed and all I wanna do is lye there and listen to music. It destroys my day and my wife doesn't get it she just tells me to get up and be happy but it makes me feel like a piece of shit because I simply just can't. The only reprieve I've found was when j had a xannax yesterday and the day before but I  don't wanna depend on something I have to obtain illegally. 

I have zero immediate issues in life, my life is actually improving drastically besides this shit hole i fall into. ",4.416484375,4.6291139296875015,6.506250000000001,76.91375000000002,69.859375,8.9,28.5,8.841846274778883,2.178325,485,16,96,8,8,172,85,128,0.134,0.795,0.07,-0.8126,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,3,0,6,0,11,4,2,3,1,21,20,10,0,2,5,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,5,7,0,0,4,1,0,2,4,5,0,1,3,2,15,2,15,16,2,15,0,2,0,0,4,5,2,3,9,69,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.19650000249967275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754909079266514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274824213475145,0.0,0.17134400193401686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25972331627473444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181454134472437,0.14385286073048786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22078274449735613,0.0,0.0,0.3156095803606514,0.0,0.1144385120068824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143533067621283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101693315541148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28445549090147304,0.0983751705038698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441051892060366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531446699943333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20703339603000426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18331215711916446,0.0,0.0,0.4133898460780841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550180980279267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759990281126455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348312890964564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22177149832518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,underkore,2019/03/16,"I’m giving up on my husband I’m not sure if this is allowed here but I can’t find a better sub - please let me know kindly if there is a better sub to post this in.

I think my husband has munchausen to some extent or at least is he worst malingerer known to mankind and I’m afraid where it’s going to take my life.

He constantly complains of aches and pains that are completely undetectable by anyone else and are symptom-less so that they can’t ever be disproved, and they always debilitate him to the point that he can’t function. I’ve started logging every time he complains and it is literally every day. I feel like he enjoys being the “patient“. I have also caught him in lies many times and I know that he does lie to me about not feeling well in order to get out of doing things with me or for me.

Last night he woke me up in a frenzy at 5 AM because his heart was pounding. Granted it was pounding, and I sometimes think whatever he has, is a mixture of malingering and then anxiety that perpetuates and makes every little thing worse. Which means sometimes he lies about feeling bad, but also takes the tiniest aches, pains, weird feelings that just come with being human, and literally thinks he’s going to die every single time. 

When he woke me up, he would not listen to reason and he demanded to go to the emergency room, just because his pulse was up. He has a Fitbit and he stood there obsessing and freaking out watching his pulse go up up up. It took me over an hour to calm him down. I ended up not getting any work done today because I was so exhausted from being up with him. This morning he thanked me for calming him down, and I pointed out “see, it was all in your head“ but he insisted that something must still be very wrong with him because he woke up to his heart pounding, and completely denies having a nightmare. So even though everything ended up being OK, he refuses to think so.

I’m also three months pregnant, and I always worried that by the time I got pregnant things would get worse with him, because the main attention would not be on him anymore. For example, as soon as I started getting morning sickness, he started being nauseous for the first time ever (he has never complained of nausea before). It is legit fear of mine that he will fake kidney stones (a classic of his) or something similar when I am in labor.

I have mentioned this to him, that his aches and pains are always conveniently timed. That was probably the worst fight we’ve ever had, he was so livid and defensive, I’m not sure if he freaked out because he knows that I’m onto him or if he genuinely believes that he is sick and I’m being a bitch about it.

He also has weird tendencies to always say “ow, ow, ow” when he wants to get out of a situation. Really, it’s embarrassing. He can be talking to my parents or to a group of coworkers and all of the sudden he “hisses” in pain and excuses himself. If he truly had chronic pain, he wouldn’t do that.  He also does it to me nearly every day, if I broach a particular subject that he finds boring (like babies for instance), and he makes a hiss, or goes “ow” in the middle of my sentences. He never ever exhibits any of this behavior when he is on the computer playing video games, it’s like a social coping mechanism. He even plays on the computer when he has a migraine ”so bad that he can’t see”.

I know this post is long enough and thank you if you made it to the end, I could keep going and I know at this point I’m just ranting but I guess the whole purpose of this post is to try to get some support and see if anybody has had a significant other with this problem and how to steer them towards getting help.

TIA.",5.7038166894664855,5.720777466484268,6.423584131326951,79.28752393980851,67.08481532147744,8.879343365253078,31.91108071135431,8.499448955792047,2.4111346101231192,2892,109,558,38,43,953,303,731,0.193,0.716,0.091,-0.9982,2,0,2,0,1,0,66.0,0,3,3,4,37,46,3,4,30,1,61,15,4,6,11,113,122,65,1,16,27,3,4,3,0,6,11,2,1,1,41,38,0,3,19,4,0,8,13,28,1,2,19,10,57,18,92,85,12,94,0,0,4,0,83,45,1,17,40,381,98,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23097192258592425,0.1922593264405726,0.0,0.0,0.07856391080857254,0.0,0.044189813281725165,0.0,0.05728702930708804,0.040390399299741725,0.05918672917498325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646217070534,0.21127683453497512,0.0,0.04915347831136722,0.065081000389644,0.0,0.10217631015694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04975914706602245,0.12113031177419555,0.062423085357213276,0.0,0.04612038743094955,0.0,0.0,0.07450686484130753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599506060218153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110050131988213,0.05911331132408437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04825496831836155,0.0,0.1534870524456691,0.059686344013607284,0.0,0.07630603748478221,0.2090057989353352,0.24334612283920254,0.0,0.051915159346464464,0.0,0.0,0.06500131157874785,0.11683020807922803,0.04126709070719087,0.0,0.0,0.10559172099909617,0.049134597503746776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21125758594035327,0.05541313358387333,0.1641449614349964,0.0,0.0461996822898759,0.0,0.0636342947818894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928321497226854,0.0,0.0,0.13690282056012776,0.038718439658148654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05688656265077141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134389147514045,0.0,0.06015301315983795,0.15872975561221878,0.047085914562396684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059068287201340226,0.04080089365474027,0.08466269764612687,0.057895373144293126,0.0,0.051119913860595535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054658326011204184,0.07711672952669456,0.058564307319967736,0.0,0.0629226582723673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04610720727717466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910334682806619,0.0,0.0,0.054208228286662816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30732839989681593,0.0,0.06414082836431181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340825959149922,0.16381884872598146,0.0,0.1659677543366284,0.0,0.062280082617375686,0.05527298645070111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03700552577998648,0.059391699893926626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045936782882829784,0.0,0.0,0.13809288589570964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492990762121419,0.0,0.058883805043624275,0.0,0.08894012785133111,0.11426146833966525,0.0,0.1226583889991528,0.0,0.04613093886931608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555066125381981,0.10888503285957522,0.060039608251839675,0.08686368359717132,0.0464290524410181,0.0,0.1063638916249564,0.0,0.0,0.11512883698659113,0.14805306851890698,0.05675349349869412,0.0,0.20209825634651804,0.0,0.054754151477821464,0.0,0.06417867212397696,0.039218418128491965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04766190110511803,0.034071098103060284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193737422528647,0.0,0.0,0.06449218946760836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420533666305336,0.05866282480965548,0.11773426431861506,0.12310308942606513,0.06315659693812871,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Daffa_Dil,2019/03/16,"I feel like I am going to absolutely fall apart and I don’t know what to do. Right now I feel so completely overwhelmed by absolutely everything in my life, even something as small as breaking my pencil, or eating one piece of unhealthy food. School, relationships, you name it. Right now I feel like I am on the verge of a mental breakdown. I feel like running away, disappearing, or anything. But I know I can’t. I know I have finals and a research paper due. I’m just so done with absolutely everything I can’t take it anymore. What can I do right now in the moment to make myself feel better? ",3.3002564102564094,5.2400277863247915,4.706333333333337,82.15950000000005,74.55555555555556,7.4150427350427375,26.22991452991453,8.238735603445708,1.7455135042735046,469,17,91,8,10,156,70,117,0.032,0.855,0.113,0.7764,0,0,1,0,0,1,15.0,0,1,0,1,7,5,0,1,4,0,10,3,0,1,0,17,22,9,0,0,4,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,8,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,1,5,17,4,13,21,1,21,0,1,0,0,3,10,0,2,9,62,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424283074309744,0.0,0.0,0.12798699444755954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612447748492133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755263193182515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306904375066092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916001551326098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914484486953648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272534085639404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27955860979116576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3932003070417461,0.3333295318782609,0.0,0.1703742567313723,0.0,0.0,0.1880661069100284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839063156244978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564237712262672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985462870522013,0.2279506251456097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038167173592248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673650347069026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539037619579153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697978352459106,0.0,0.3984623730765236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574035029502935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197337098150502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693834196725172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tenshiii_,2019/03/17,"I have a dream to (live) die I don't know where to begin. I just feel broken. I have a will to live and I dream of living. I am living quite my dream now which I dreamed of before when I was still trapped in my abusive home. (I'm free of my abusive parents & ex) yet I still feel trapped by the past sometimes and on the worst days (they are fewer now but still happen) I just feel completely shut down, have no energy to do anything and I just obsess about things in my head and I dream of dying. But I know I can't die, or even do anything to myself. And I haven't. But I obsess and obsess and keep obsessing.
Even when I thinking back of who I was before I was abused by my ex, I felt like I was so far away from the me who just had not experienced the abuse yet. But only it wasn't me anymore. I just have a memory of who I was, before all of it happened to me.
There has been so much process though over the years. I have slowly started to find myself again, in a whole new satisfying way. But there still comes times when I feel like I lose myself again.. still affected by the past.
When he left me alone, I was suffering. He knew my past, so he took advantage of it. And he knew I had no one but him. So he left me alone. And I hated being alone. He would never answer me until I kept confronting him. Then he'd get mad and threaten to really leave me. Which he did...
I really felt like I couldn't go on living. I began to have suicidal thoughts of death and wanting to just die, how it would've been the only thing I could do and the only thing I'd deserve.
Things got a turn for the worse when one time he traumatized me the most. I remember he told me to hurt myself. I did. He then made me learn the hard way that I must not make him disappointed or angry in any way or I would die and he would leave me. I began taking it all in and letting him make me do things for him which I was uncomfortable with doing out of the very worst fear that I'd die or he'd leave me if I don't comply. I held everything inside. I wasn't allowed to question him for anything or have a natural reaction for his mistreatment for me. I had hell of a patience for him. He trained and projected me that way. This continued for 2 more years.
He kept me up almost each night and wouldn't let me fall asleep. I had to do what he says. He has so much power over me. Like he was my God
Until it was enough. I told him I just couldn't do it anymore. Then he left.
I've always felt like I don't deserve anyone.
I've been free of him for a long time now, a few years. But the trauma has kept me awake almost each night. Even if I'm the most tired, I can't let myself rest and fall asleep. Because he never let me sleep before. But I'm supposed to be free of him now, yet I still stay awake....
I've still succeeded to live now. I've actually gotten better this year. And there's really been lots of process. These days I fall asleep around 2-3am, so it's better than 4-6am. But I still struggle to get to bed at 12-1am.. even if I feel like I can fall asleep.
Sometimes when I wake up (usually it's on days when I know I don't have to go anywhere) I feel completely different from a good day.. I feel dull, like all energy from my body has just left me and I just feel nothing. All day. Those days I avoid meeting people or talking to them because I half truthfully sometimes I feel like they don't interest me anymore. I just feel guilt if anyone sees me, even though they may not notice anything, because I push myself to act normal. Then I feel guilt ""if I'm fake"" Even though I don't really want to just push myself and it drains me.
I lost many years of my youth anyway, so it feels difficult to hold a long conversation with people sometimes. Because I haven't done it in a long time.
I do have still gone to some social gatherings almost every week. I can smile, I can be genuinely happy.
I know the reason why I'm like this is because of my past and everything I've gone through. But I really feel like I've been in a place of an unhealthy cycle that feels endless, and I feel like I can't escape it. I've grown to adapt to it and I don't know how to change it.
I obsess about death and my abusive ex.. and I really want to go back to him. but I know I can't do it.. it would only harden the grip to him and then I'm afraid I'd never recover again. but then if I'm supposed to not do it, why do I feel like I have to do it? So I just feel trapped. I'm caught up in imaginations and I just wish he would appear by my window, break in, and finally come to kill me..
Yet I still dream of living, normal and healthy. Friends and a family, love, peace and purpose. I have many dreams.. but this just feels insurmountable. I'm still here, and I wonder if I can ever get over this. I know I shouldn't be living in my past anymore... And I've really started to live and slowly head in the right direction in my life, towards the healed life that I still want to live. But if at the end of the day I always come back to struggling with this... how can I ever overcome this?
At my worst, feel like I've lost all my worth as a human being. And I feel guilty for feeling like that. I feel I just deserve to be treated wrongly. And okay this one I'm afraid to say. the bad thing is that I started to enjoy the pain, because I felt it too much all these years. So I feel like I'm still in love with my ex and the pain... It's messed up I know. Or maybe I'm really not and it's an illusion. But I feel fascinated by it. I still do desire real mutual love.. but I haven't got it and I don't know if I can still have it someday. I don't know if I can ever adapt to a normal healthy life again after been so deeply damaged since my youth.
Please help me.",1.2080632022046591,2.7788828094848768,3.0191934677932224,93.58587266436513,79.44971381847915,6.164952605917446,19.827753550770726,7.016131500887134,0.14773923260955124,4408,104,1034,50,108,1471,354,1223,0.187,0.68,0.133,-0.9976,4,7,0,0,2,3,157.0,0,0,4,9,90,70,5,13,41,1,105,19,9,9,14,211,209,104,10,30,53,5,30,15,1,10,7,2,3,1,56,50,0,7,50,7,4,19,32,37,0,4,49,34,178,36,118,135,23,159,1,8,1,3,62,40,1,28,109,696,234,3,0.0,0.18014888938941626,0.02967486778157033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913508792983396,0.09448388331305134,0.0,0.0,0.050605567968915854,0.03294821688599172,0.0,0.020679211780948236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063051333879347,0.04252546047874615,0.0,0.10009630117988057,0.02707052124236836,0.0,0.0,0.028570324217739806,0.07014809815171777,0.02539030499291345,0.11122252853228323,0.0,0.10350352239950836,0.0,0.0,0.05378870616254152,0.0,0.03377762383818619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032168766153849414,0.07858416896211964,0.06376666702283247,0.0,0.0,0.024279169641334142,0.0,0.0,0.13727935064987054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893588950288409,0.031771008074902754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031119038534687643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026933411965630472,0.03142070030844847,0.0,0.12050943185536585,0.08252023992595993,0.025620954753771862,0.0,0.0546594263813084,0.0,0.028666966812030795,0.03421866030705943,0.3690177727281346,0.19551822448279552,0.11678991187638615,0.033311652071940104,0.027793340967655195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0234939736504014,0.0,0.04766245520945896,0.0,0.05184652930876487,0.02550568690592632,0.04864182571627384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378128401276746,0.032371022675784115,0.027240555626669157,0.030022663062152326,0.0624169619281862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020382560014600384,0.0,0.030502778693100707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03255354058921086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027028980470676832,0.03364313276958215,0.0,0.16712030745216244,0.0,0.0,0.09659644980479913,0.13215818313091993,0.1243813458880008,0.06443648072414364,0.22284504889738893,0.0,0.2685176776021868,0.08073321559993456,0.0,0.03401997330995565,0.06639018869075568,0.02585270563749948,0.08233612438515077,0.028773799255789344,0.04059658347768025,0.06166005237824815,0.030550000154112595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670625006583293,0.0,0.07036005312687951,0.029369271298733263,0.0,0.05707370834638095,0.08938330252171425,0.02917832479096245,0.034620930104738844,0.0,0.0,0.06181792268829243,0.09250987838621794,0.06471479336869003,0.0,0.033765675865675616,0.0,0.14514450075808094,0.04216364343191693,0.0,0.031771008074902754,0.03338002946286321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03406512016450088,0.032343791275982366,0.0,0.03461218141184756,0.15584664190849926,0.031265590714534955,0.0,0.0,0.03444755076404191,0.025969181397736768,0.0,0.04836502928598212,0.0,0.0,0.02423209336610657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0251546986572156,0.0,0.03043103314087358,0.03099821947336937,0.0,0.0,0.12030139935142978,0.0,0.06457109318307107,0.03241202477371171,0.3642708635738406,0.0,0.0,0.06358032929557833,0.0,0.03326258925541516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022863837742954918,0.0244416602568568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212146176348545,0.019484905519670533,0.08963027674840017,0.024141406499409792,0.07092709787547884,0.03495075499235262,0.0,0.05811434303523438,0.03378559796763437,0.0,0.03307633823023032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033491296726733746,0.025090669155634772,0.07174423432146848,0.09654922394204347,0.02439232336976657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548789154340326,0.03395064299859652,0.03496893215013353,0.0,0.032977341498672715,0.0,0.0,0.03098944236178628,0.1296103939292613,0.033247546615386724,0.0,0.11749467248535875
mentalhealth,aremarten,2019/03/17,"Overwhelmed I have nobody that I feel like gives a shit and understands, so here goes nothing...

I’m in grad school working in Athletics as a GA. Which means I’m going to school full time while being expected to handle the responsibilities of a full time job. Which usually means working 60-90 hour weeks because I’m the only person working full time in my department.

It’s mid-term week which means I have so much work to do. I was planning on getting all of my work done over spring break, but I actually wasn’t able to do any work at all because I ended up working 90 hours because I had to fix other people’s fuck ups.

My bosses don’t care that I’m working so much. I’ve been so stressed out over the past two weeks that my sleep schedule is completely erratic. I sleep either 2 hours or 12 hours. My body is a consistent state of tired. My brain isn’t at peak functioning levels. I’m terrified I’m not going to be able to get through this week.

I have zero support system besides my parents, and my parents aren’t very helpful because they want me to hire a lawyer and sue my employer for a wage and labor case.

I know I’m going to get through it. And I know that whatever happens is going to happen. But I hate the anxiety and loneliness and stress that I have built up right now.",4.635321162947935,5.2282550383141775,5.588451656524677,82.34141987829615,69.49808429118774,8.593283750281723,30.29546991210277,8.671277953709913,2.235345098039216,1019,39,206,16,17,336,141,261,0.134,0.8029999999999999,0.062,-0.9712,6,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,9,6,9,3,3,10,0,19,7,5,1,2,25,48,16,0,2,5,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,12,8,0,0,7,0,1,5,5,6,0,2,5,1,24,3,29,41,8,43,0,1,0,1,6,17,2,1,19,122,36,18,0.16796281191681514,0.0,0.08195373775195403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057110235896837676,0.0,0.06424554569096529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477714234006747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932844097670441,0.0,0.09375102336808623,0.0,0.0,0.08562464044190088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805290633427791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594213601681581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438259867723715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042463522211481496,0.05999633319696473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763945655020106,0.1316304552256897,0.08056261706393238,0.1909142734336912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852895987233486,0.0,0.0,0.08291425165974929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562909661618593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33081907241219416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333858687019734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923079688224692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04102907288660893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744411132444968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347199280769355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058242400813602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387164357845765,0.0,0.0,0.18650282557495715,0.0,0.08016975468145858,0.058222132646404724,0.0733293243690466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717196618218738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998733276637928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620570637107339,0.0,0.0,0.1680841126508434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19240083356360724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530110425691436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691069952477234,0.09652427198529843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203763064580494,0.08742760536605726,0.0,0.0,0.09249365385952084,0.06929345516002568,0.049534409117468564,0.0,0.26945927271807024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4891157100115062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ultimategamer426,2019/03/17,I don’t know what to do I am 15 and not that head strong I cry at the smallest things I have good friends and family so can anybody please help me,-0.8913636363636357,1.1032488787878805,0.8578030303030317,103.60670454545456,90.51515151515152,4.512121212121213,17.340909090909093,5.985473137389443,-0.7028727272727271,115,3,30,1,4,37,28,33,0.149,0.563,0.28800000000000003,0.6664,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,1,0,0,4,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198014643701696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36028072527463434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952675782495922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205503894900525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922219685880524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561639518113278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21003347152764093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4195135573088235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253900192520805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eveabyss,2019/03/17,"This Can Save Lives And It's One Simple Thing ALL Of Us CAN Do... If you have a loved one, this will help you a lot in learning the correct and incorrect responses to someone suffering....

[https://silentvictimsblog.wordpress.com/2019/03/18/this-can-save-lives-and-its-one-simple-thing-all-of-us-can-do/](https://silentvictimsblog.wordpress.com/2019/03/18/this-can-save-lives-and-its-one-simple-thing-all-of-us-can-do/)",29.552368421052627,38.80012502631579,11.093947368421054,32.445131578947375,22.421052631578945,8.010526315789475,27.921052631578952,8.841846274778883,2.5578736842105267,373,7,30,4,4,74,32,38,0.0,0.7659999999999999,0.234,0.8689,0,0,0,0,0,0,58.0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,2,8,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,2,3,5,2,1,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,2,0,25,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706710068226898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739684686519027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116858470163148,0.17109745781919294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5138395569922052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16062498566185704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778325689250466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6841006273404222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SlapMyB_Ass,2019/03/17,"17m I'm sad and I'm used to it I guess. Hey, so I know it's late (for me) and because of that a lot of folks won't see this, but that doesn't really matter to me. I kinda just wanted to get my thoughts down so I can look at them and read them. I would appreciate advice or something, but that's not necessary and don't feel obliged to do so. This might be deleted by the morning.

For further context, I am a 17-year-old guy from Canada.

Anyways, here it goes: I think I feel sad all the time. I say ""I think"" because I'm not really sure what it is, I just know it doesn't feel good. If anything it feels more like ""nothing"". I feel dull, and empty, and just all around blank. I've sort of learned to deal with this and just brush it off when I'm around people, but when I'm alone I scare myself. I've picked up some bad habits here and there over the past few years but dropped them after a while. This includes drinking, smoking cigarettes and recently vaping (not vaping to be cool, just for the head buzz it gives me). I don't know if addiction runs in my family because my mom was adopted and my father left the picture before I was even born. Sometimes I just feel the need to not feel empty, to feel at least something. 

It's not like I'm constantly sad 24/7. I still laugh with my friends and smile with them, I a enjoy my passions like piano and guitar, but whenever I'm not doing anything it's like my brain suddenly realizes it's sad. I mean if I was depressed I would be sad no matter what right? Maybe I just forget about my emotions when I'm doing stuff? I'm not sure. I don't really talk about how I feel with my friends even though they really care about me. I'm always happy to help them when they need me, but I just can't bring myself to talk about my emotions or problems with them. Perhaps this stems from my childhood, where I never had anyone to really talk to. My mom had to work a lot to support us, my friends were just pure assholes to me and thought emotions made you weak, no father figure to teach me how to toughen up, etc etc. Occasionally I just cry. There was one evening where I sat in the dark, ate my dinner, put the plate down, and then just cried for 30 minutes. I had no reason to cry, and that made me feel weak so I cried more. 

I also lack the motivation to do basically anything. I'm known to have a sort of laissez-faire attitude, but really my chillness comes from my lack of giving a shit. I used to not do homework because I just didn't care at all. I have future plans for my life, but at the same time I don't really see them y'know? Like I look into the future and see nothing, or if anything I see sadness and loneliness.

I'm not sure if there was any narrative to that, but if you have any questions please ask. Any concerns or add-ons feel free to bring them up. Have a good night or morning and stay safe out there folks.

Goodnight.",2.4734810479375717,3.888487311036791,3.673432274247492,90.91554417502786,75.5551839464883,6.655574136008919,23.829570791527313,7.251919499444523,0.779588517279822,2244,68,496,25,48,730,247,598,0.179,0.682,0.139,-0.9727,0,1,4,0,0,0,77.0,1,2,10,3,43,37,1,1,19,1,36,11,3,9,8,131,93,52,0,14,41,4,11,5,3,4,4,1,1,1,24,28,3,1,26,3,1,5,22,14,0,1,16,20,77,24,64,70,15,51,0,8,6,1,32,22,1,20,27,326,101,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885142458690997,0.0,0.061717160967685473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541252854768219,0.0,0.050507343305450585,0.05255242550420967,0.0,0.0,0.12884859673207286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04416146648555038,0.0,0.20789425441223047,0.11244782801951952,0.05904410320428825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273420159966768,0.1540018586801334,0.0,0.05374271417786036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050509488931833,0.0,0.0,0.12878736001670205,0.0,0.0,0.05440493145904042,0.0,0.06825124385301266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775039141866063,0.0,0.06511301325822312,0.05439779971643513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061870689566321635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313238258201386,0.0,0.0,0.1408754889265448,0.12514557576003865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953963954109826,0.0,0.3512798058972189,0.04512001056729911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638689175297506,0.0,0.0329973917531679,0.12117360977113174,0.0,0.10594768637954717,0.0,0.0,0.0695755383720609,0.0625362426151318,0.0,0.06723275030562499,0.0,0.0,0.06481821810487168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042333403605323366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883970258790534,0.0,0.07124485298690646,0.0,0.06862123430790693,0.0,0.044610286824419663,0.15427877868242254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607344488872594,0.0,0.0,0.10738916223064447,0.0,0.11952304875161332,0.0,0.0,0.06345059137519214,0.06879745961052325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700054250898321,0.0,0.14793951924499749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936615530930647,0.04871125976616897,0.0,0.0,0.059269403081584085,0.0,0.12120340124284855,0.0,0.06627358321047304,0.0,0.04279742206624328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029135424876581,0.04378572989839608,0.0,0.0,0.06932839930787654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043357285439181,0.0,0.06349112565026557,0.07075129325043855,0.0,0.06317498328666156,0.0,0.28322393944900803,0.064936831768392,0.0623607987910104,0.0,0.0,0.053936494563134006,0.0,0.05022569058254058,0.06323206773934248,0.0,0.20131465094364007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648306683952661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724406154489887,0.06246476999676714,0.0,0.0,0.06731790930228637,0.05043797402709268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230067579122236,0.0,0.07167082723256811,0.17857669691706654,0.0,0.0,0.15229176330596414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093805380530633,0.06205230808640479,0.10028062267032437,0.07365574929660736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759711674864663,0.10909628055618588,0.0,0.0,0.03725216098603455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045979697483969864,0.0,0.0,0.08973110858371153,0.0,0.0,0.08134322329538989
mentalhealth,mrmatchgame,2019/03/17,"I told that voice in my head that I'm not the person who I think I am. I've been going to therapy for nine months now, after taking a break for about ten years. I've always held low self esteem, and with my home and school like, I felt like I was a screw up, I was broken, I thought at times that being happy was selfish and I was meant to be sad. Depression and anxiety has held on to me my entire like.

I would tell my therapist I would have these thoughts pop up from people from my past saying how fucked up or screwed up I was, either I would agree with the voices or try to distract myself, more times then not, I would agree though my thoughts.

Medication has helped with some of my issues, but not the thoughts. My therapist suggested talking back to the voices, I wouldn't think it would work, I did talk back to the voices when it did occur, but I felt it wasn't working. Then one night something happened.

It was that time of the year we moved our clocks forward and lose an hour (unless you live in Arizona). I had an exhausting week of work with little sleep and no overtime pay :( . I was at the point my mind was ready to shut down, it was hard open my eyes, I can hear only my ceiling fan running and my sound of my breath. I could start to feel myself slowing moving into the beginning stages of sleep. My mind was blank, no energy to think, just enough to talk. 

Me: Your just a Fuck up!

My mind had a few seconds left of juice before my brain would start blinking, asking to be plug in with that charger that only works if you hold the wire at a certain angle. The last few moments I just had enough energy to say something.

Me: No your not.

Mysterious, that 1% of battery life in my brain went to 50% and I woke up. 

""Did I just say that?"" 

I had to think about that, it was never in my character to disagree with the negative thoughts in my brain. Yet I did, it was instinct to say I was a fuck up, now I'm beginning to naturally say that I'm not. I fell asleep an hour later, and woke up close to noon.

I did my normal Sunday tasks of playing video games in my underwear, doing the bare minimum of cleaning my room, sneaking out the dishes that built up in the room that week and hope nobody notices that I had all the cups and spoons so I can eat that cheap ice cream and not the expensive one I looked forward to having but they didn't pay me overtime...Anyway.

All I can think about was that moment in the middle of the night of accepting that I'm not a fuck up, I have been though over 30 years of pain and one week of the worst experience of my life. And now I'm beginning to accept I'm not a screw up, I'm a good person, who has good things in life. I cried because I can think positive things about myself, it was such a rare thing to feel good about me.

I walked in at the end of the week when I meet my therapist and told her about what happen, she was so exited for me. I left that appointment so happy, I wanted to shout it out to the world. Nothing can bring down form the high I was feeling.

Then I looked at my paycheck and they didn't pay me for overtime. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

TL:DR - Always thought of myself as a fuck up, therapist suggested talking to the voices and say your not a fuck up, about to fall asleep and said I was a fuck up, then a moment later said I was not. Feeling better about myself, I didn't get my OT pay.",3.783246210467219,4.2643268895265445,4.624943234982222,88.89169842804569,71.3529411764706,7.667756222319257,24.62132742810804,7.586124646067393,0.9381421870126628,2610,66,581,28,46,845,274,697,0.139,0.768,0.093,-0.9846,0,0,2,0,0,0,83.0,2,5,2,6,28,35,10,1,41,0,60,28,10,1,4,96,119,39,0,12,22,0,7,3,0,7,6,16,4,3,35,30,2,3,21,3,6,11,20,19,1,6,54,27,93,16,101,54,11,112,0,4,4,10,38,53,10,5,53,411,128,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199346514431607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04228844574801696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167860092076998,0.0,0.0,0.08501260343820832,0.0,0.03369769445160027,0.0,0.04703853776535875,0.0,0.0,0.04888997065067058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512964702298032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04413595253994456,0.0,0.060721618489074064,0.0,0.0,0.04761190415217373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565644341777003,0.0,0.0,0.04896097394657525,0.11423640578091035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054073676423867935,0.0,0.0,0.11180332183325054,0.0,0.10615342459951692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577331840895687,0.028881106618525474,0.0,0.031416449995840263,0.13909674054859375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776644892680728,0.11769149782252347,0.049519315860520684,0.0,0.05673241939584254,0.0,0.06230368930893208,0.0,0.037052490457311266,0.05840552234314759,0.055449556662068265,0.05490473035413886,0.10887777701668527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05769713516575544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901198713275006,0.0,0.0,0.12012205080731635,0.0,0.1171360263589962,0.08101989192540049,0.05540429262882047,0.048812556812527885,0.0,0.0928412310324942,0.06184329816873736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568799025584986,0.0,0.0,0.16744873686470324,0.0,0.04412333949235582,0.11750610767346514,0.0,0.0,0.042634736022563166,0.0,0.0,0.10375159118152147,0.054161890710431364,0.05304189464439367,0.06293574906244308,0.0,0.0,0.11237587373019037,0.08408466315460443,0.058820978866801786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05277026266982823,0.03832364518459645,0.09653535111167247,0.0,0.0,0.052256723004501536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516637853468684,0.2637614879783637,0.0,0.05594551359341975,0.0,0.0,0.05766827389217041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106382676416172,0.0,0.0,0.08511327593724274,0.0,0.0,0.07825382131489185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041563087717220656,0.17772534613499302,0.04831646767379218,0.0,0.06321659636455162,0.2567337023418573,0.11017515611348327,0.21252412120323888,0.10862308992025066,0.26331311669526525,0.0967012588941279,0.0,0.0,0.10564331169409052,0.0,0.03753095621328749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03260511137535133,0.0,0.17736659737393554,0.0,0.04970265020623632,0.0512443831898888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609756983528363,0.0,0.0,0.2356125962976325,0.0,0.0,0.10679400006501144
mentalhealth,dreadherring,2019/03/17,"It bugs me that even resources that acknowledge mental health issues aren't something someone can just ""will"" themselves to get over STILL require people to Just Get Over It to go face-to-face with a doctor or therapist to initiate any kind of treatment Sometimes I get lucid and grounded enough that I am able to briefly suck it up and force myself to do something that is psychological torture for me -- I seek professional help.

I have been to half a dozen doctors and therapists and every time, it is SO HARD to go there and face the judgment and stigma still associated with mental health issues. I can't describe what my mind is doing. I can't focus. I can't get my shit together enough to even coherently tell someone what is going on with me. But I try. I practice, and I try as hard as I can, and I pay my copay, and I leave WITH NOTHING. Sometimes they want a follow-up later or something, but what they don't understand is how hard it was to even come this once. I can't do it again. 

And then a few years later, I finally get to the point where I can do it again.

And the same thing happens.

And I never get anywhere.

I want to be normal. I want a job. I want to not feel helpless. I want to not be hopeless. I want to not feel like a fish out of water in every aspect of my life as an American. Maybe get some passion or ambition or racism so I fit in at all. So far in my life, there has been no place in human cultures that is appealing at all to me. I feel like there is absolutely nothing worth waking up for or fighting for or caring about. It is all just nothing. Aggressively worthless nothing. 

Briefly, over the past decade, it seemed like mental health care was going to be better. 

My mother told me when I was growing up to NEVER let a doctor think I am depressed because they'll put me on a federal list and monitor me for the rest of my life. I kind of thought that was bullshit until I went to a doctor and the doctor told me they weren't going to diagnose me with depression because then I would be on a federal list and the government would monitor me for the rest of my life. 

So then years passed before it looked like the stigma was going to be stripped away. Then I went to a doctor again. And nothing. And now that society has regressed back 70 years, it's as likely as not that a doctor will just dismiss me as a whiny snowflake. Especially since now I am unemployed and my healthcare is covered by a medical card. I don't WANT to live this way. I WANT help.

This may all seem non-sequitur to the post title, but it really isn't. I wish I could just send this post and maybe a form with my personal details to somebody and they would say go pick up my prescription at CVS. My problem is my brain. My problem is I can't function. If I had my shit together enough to fight for mental health care, maybe I wouldn't need mental health care. But I CAN'T. I don't understand why I have to overcome the illness I'm seeking treatment for in order to get treatment for the illness. 

I wish I just could magically have a pill that would at least let me get control over my brain enough to get my life worked out. I wouldn't necessarily have to be on it forever. I don't know. All I know is I have tried for decades to just push through it and get over it, and it doesn't seem like that approach is ever going to work.



",3.9998972312140566,4.900240992614479,4.999890002828501,84.87140167824258,71.12703101920236,7.829648951884095,28.289041138942146,8.058908269544373,1.7166854332317163,2620,94,542,35,47,859,255,677,0.131,0.79,0.08,-0.9758,4,0,3,0,3,1,64.0,0,0,5,5,31,28,7,0,29,0,72,30,6,3,8,104,127,50,0,23,22,1,6,6,0,10,22,1,0,2,34,31,1,2,13,0,2,17,23,14,0,2,14,8,82,14,88,93,16,77,0,5,1,1,18,31,3,12,31,395,116,15,0.04881225606800104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033194007969823754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045860721377099664,0.03753361191553964,0.0,0.05951099648014516,0.0,0.041535634721331864,0.0,0.0,0.04317047380623228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089812419083951,0.0,0.0,0.1990693929106416,0.0,0.0,0.04204743647005298,0.0,0.0,0.05474709577064255,0.07794522916174644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408384925213963,0.04954341241910279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3497298870659131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20174443542707549,0.0,0.0967201043206909,0.044153480167906066,0.08225286198526467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740428299365204,0.06974297097625974,0.0,0.05347144059826794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28052628058353113,0.0,0.22192904001862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04316451683598208,0.0,0.13117858119821732,0.0,0.0,0.2594257281814347,0.0,0.0,0.06543565264836533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189462702546027,0.04843863229282089,0.0,0.0,0.101660906524969,0.05365187876838993,0.0,0.0,0.051685131242627316,0.0,0.09982767792212204,0.1723877000536994,0.14308321627520953,0.0,0.043102116390032176,0.0,0.040990001416289217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711541610033704,0.0,0.0,0.049173212678721684,0.2459563667569617,0.0,0.04928646381862918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03619366937657193,0.07529404211955468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047825647123366025,0.2341833808553659,0.0,0.0,0.051983459652719534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04659682163880723,0.03384027232133895,0.04262097922209258,0.05099841843194754,0.0,0.04614335949973467,0.0,0.09349729671862962,0.0,0.0,0.09341347363580252,0.0,0.04906979938393216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03127038114641199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0388174652057757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331053399254245,0.0,0.0,0.10021015880567023,0.040378002631386654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271693232931843,0.11273417841664098,0.09655313875481768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796306149853452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042664063290708994,0.0,0.0,0.11334958299851393,0.032428693982245516,0.03127692273586013,0.0,0.03875147893608052,0.028462819051016518,0.0,0.0,0.09328440495250764,0.0,0.0994209532485998,0.0,0.0,0.10163056004691463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303258664868247,0.038744896843277234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049890080820826,0.04404546884061728,0.0,0.1122633710398156,0.0,0.0,0.07107180753733741,0.0,0.0,0.13869930487465346,0.0,0.0,0.09430047760534112
mentalhealth,thesadviolist,2019/03/17,"How to ask parents for therapy I've been struggling with low self-esteem and some anxiety for the past few years. I feel stagnant in life. I've thought about therapy for a while, but I'm 16 so my parents would have to know. I know they'll be supportive, but I'm still terrifed to ask for them to take me to therapy. What are your experiences and how should I go about talking to them?",3.277890295358649,4.578322886075952,4.332341772151898,87.45311181434599,73.30379746835443,8.30464135021097,29.62236286919831,8.841846274778883,2.1984919831223637,304,13,66,6,6,99,53,79,0.066,0.895,0.039,-0.0,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,3,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,7,1,0,2,0,14,18,8,0,2,2,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,9,1,14,12,2,7,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,1,4,43,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356487087542093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315390462396111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734522102845215,0.0,0.0,0.08965791939647554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007745922129748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19489999880649508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524580054227513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39378399227780536,0.0,0.16927124809542868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498260579661585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160734853862672,0.0,0.0,0.18537253629951414,0.0,0.0,0.20121973587841555,0.0,0.0,0.1333219767468825,0.1425224626353004,0.0,0.0,0.6083399035129773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14077164438166542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259624778063615,0.0,0.0,0.11418775629507155
mentalhealth,throwmeaway0143,2019/03/17,"How do I get my sibling to move out of my parents' place? Hi Reddit. I'm from Vancouver BC, Canada.

I (34) have an older sibling (38) who is still living with my parents. They have tried to get her to move out before, but they can't reason with her. (Logic doesn't work)  I think she's a bi-polar schizophrenic. She has no concept of personal space and is paranoid that people are talking about her behind her back.  She's quite possessive of my mom, and she hates my dad. She's also been increasingly aggressive and emotionally abusive towards my parents, who are in their late sixties now. I'm concerned with their safety and stress levels; even when I'm around her for short periods my fight or flight response gets triggered. My adrenaline is still going and I left their place an hour ago.

They have had to call the police on her on multiple occasions when she gets too aggressive or doesn't take her medication, which usually results in a 1-2 week hospital stay in the psych ward. However, provincial laws state that no one can force an adult to take their medication, so once they let her out we're back to square one. These episodes usually happen when she stops taking her medication. I'm also having a hard time finding empathy for someone who is so toxic. (Yes, I realize it's an illness but it doesn't make it any easier) My parents have had to deal with this for 20 years, and enough is enough. She doesn't pay for rent, bills, or groceries; it doesn't help that my parents are still recovering from a bankruptcy filing.

I guess my question is this: What are my options? Is there any kind of support for this kind of thing in BC? My parents are reluctant to kick her out of the house because she'll end up on the street. How can they get her to move out when she can't support herself, can't reason, and can't integrate with society? 

Maybe I'm a shitty person, but I want her out of my parents'. I'm more concerned with their peace of mind and quality of life at this point. 

HELP!",4.279061007957562,5.699438697435903,5.025083996463309,82.98807692307693,71.0,8.353669319186562,28.576480990274092,8.841846274778883,2.2004491600353666,1572,59,307,29,29,508,195,390,0.124,0.821,0.055,-0.9795,9,0,0,0,1,0,51.0,0,0,10,2,21,9,4,1,13,1,35,6,0,7,0,45,58,24,0,1,6,9,1,0,0,1,6,0,1,3,18,21,0,1,7,0,3,5,11,5,0,2,3,2,54,4,50,53,4,54,0,0,1,0,56,25,0,6,22,209,72,3,0.0,0.08942518192959549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690377076743953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071418623725592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265077303221903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718848767906953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160707764282045,0.0,0.04600867872115687,0.0,0.06422341370172345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706811084860073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781110522273134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848988828172332,0.06684818521986265,0.1559710887456283,0.0,0.049850329841164734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898251165710112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19716208736946889,0.0,0.04289401331280879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314389499571978,0.0,0.06674203104373297,0.0,0.06761050959110908,0.07451564412757487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117820563170356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432737972369713,0.0870876744083577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157190578664545,0.0,0.0,0.08513875299177767,0.0,0.0820034861859495,0.07717799789372362,0.053310015132386285,0.0,0.0,0.06664554594889092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050379950655205785,0.0,0.07582448415280629,0.0,0.0,0.2280984702963829,0.0,0.0,0.07620793511295951,0.08839506054589648,0.0,0.2406529961636019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037809599690171,0.10228722478106292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5866400848344151,0.0,0.0,0.052324656253685486,0.1318031997978453,0.15771000236606192,0.0,0.07134799038515298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454894111445439,0.08027663753439471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552011309789302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394947134869422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044599169940844,0.18082258712306745,0.06310023165735247,0.08645601785389058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129559822634266,0.0,0.0,0.17024275226194785,0.06066370774027077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05014203932120775,0.048361142466190665,0.0,0.0,0.04400990656083357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512423693850945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624944583323004,0.0,0.04451693560491755,0.0,0.060541254581696284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494648304550245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860323451698323
mentalhealth,JonDCafLikeTheDrink,2019/03/17,"Crinkle helps me walk outside Hi everyone, first time posting, so apologies for length
Some context:
A few years ago, I was diagnosed with panic disorder with severe agoraphobia. The agoraphobia has had ebbs and flows. Some days, I can go out and have no problems, other times, I don’t leave the house for weeks at a time
About 3 years ago, I ended up getting a cat named Crinkle. She’s been a huge emotional comfort to me. She’s actually so empathic, she’s picked up on when I am experiencing suicidal tendencies, sit on my lap and just not leave until I calm down. She’s really helped a lot in stabilizing my mood swings between when I’m having a depressive mood and when I’m having panic attacks. I think it’s because she came from a bad home (she has crinkled ears because of it), but that’s a different story.
She’s actually so smart, it took about a month of training from when we brought her home for her to be comfortable walking out on a harness and leash. This brings me to why I’m writing. My agoraphobia has recently gotten so bad that I cannot leave the house without either my wife or my cat coming with me. I’m hoping to try and train Crinkle to have a more active role in my rehabilitation by having her go out with me everyday. She’s already picked up on that and is quite happy to go outside with me.
My question is this: what sort of training can I give her to help her be a more effective service animal? I don’t intend for her to walk with me into buildings, my wife has been kind enough to help me with that. I just want to be able to enjoy walking outside again
AFTERTHOUGHT: before anyone suggests medication, please understand that I cannot take it. I have an extremely low tolerance for drugs and alcohol, and the side effects are even more debilitating than my illness. I’ve had seizures, extreme lethargy, increased suicidal tendencies, rampant paranoia etc when I take medication. It never ends well.
Thanks for listening...",5.665522788203756,6.728649900804293,6.4893898123324405,75.11103914209117,67.41823056300268,9.614112600536195,33.68675603217158,9.791249743138472,3.3540207828418236,1555,70,281,34,25,514,193,373,0.133,0.718,0.14800000000000002,0.9328,1,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,0,4,16,20,1,2,17,0,28,7,1,5,1,49,51,21,2,3,7,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,2,0,14,23,1,0,6,0,0,14,8,8,1,1,9,3,46,10,51,39,11,58,0,2,0,0,30,18,0,7,24,195,60,1,0.09678402517761356,0.0,0.1888944946197483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158639741206658,0.10343268901329762,0.0,0.0,0.10680357847074233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676736407448599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010580083506487,0.0,0.0,0.16162123670374984,0.11799728686285887,0.0,0.08235607694586466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069514124468867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833708678472556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241768949692854,0.0,0.08335993906645722,0.09823374826755273,0.0,0.10111870688090928,0.11092287782825606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223874231166614,0.0,0.0,0.10886900155116444,0.17144383857349155,0.1000037700091964,0.10793977177468574,0.06392493583793296,0.0,0.0,0.09248128364549013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232444237393592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05056565854197667,0.09284405600629836,0.1650137756915198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302839449320501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25948916782744885,0.0,0.19416453708042036,0.09612837499951833,0.0,0.2233515411660109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078566869542517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074409244591729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228231717651414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19499944634115926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772520855233105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464580676286804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271104005255302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623979594773092,0.0,0.0,0.09269234254454768,0.0,0.0,0.09260924112686786,0.0,0.0,0.10842025826363898,0.10294172415753232,0.0,0.0,0.062002324825381726,0.0,0.09556254875109672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933839997320224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117320297227429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455390840260334,0.0,0.0,0.08910572703967475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062015295366160864,0.0,0.0,0.1693066301927389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753061311844828,0.06571000002533367,0.0,0.0,0.1007555834818676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05708572563738243,0.0,0.07763430707507786,0.0,0.08702046192882917,0.0,0.08733252893067255,0.0,0.0,0.09329634652522688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465147805094515
mentalhealth,beckykkoch,2019/03/17,"Going off antidepressants - brain zaps? I had been on escitalopram for two years and over the past two months started taking half my dosage to ease off of it. With the permission of my doctor, I stopped taking it a week ago. Mood wise, I feel fantastic, but I’ve had brain zaps the past few days. They’re getting pretty debilitating to the point where I may call in sick to work tomorrow. 

Has anyone experienced brain zaps? How long did they last? I’m hoping they’ll go away soon! ",3.774347826086956,5.912730130434787,4.414565217391306,83.8951086956522,73.78260869565217,7.643478260869566,22.369565217391305,8.472884824447931,1.228560869565218,380,10,76,7,8,121,68,92,0.061,0.785,0.154,0.8415,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,3,3,0,0,5,0,7,5,3,1,0,8,16,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,2,8,2,13,10,1,23,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,2,13,43,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493853493772986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783510370028615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833277660241948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5643817446868329,0.17208068443534766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086833046611502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249029053073986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521022274487562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804624004834036,0.0,0.19155085255813206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738122719470494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736862525442542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491374300662457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451334091840006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217482817269475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593085763148253,0.0,0.0,0.17144833606305313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192813493471094,0.0,0.0,0.14089265887102448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534164391023235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292446983543331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351788750272977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268665088158133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852319810828788
mentalhealth,bbkind,2019/03/17,"Unsupportive family 
TLDR: Cousin got mad at me for taking medication for my depression and anxiety. 

So I guess I just need to vent about something that happened while visiting family. I will start by saying I’m a grown adult at the age of 27 and I currently feel like I’m emotionally back in high school. 


Some back story on myself is I have had diagnosed depression and anxiety since the age of 12. It was always something my extended family knew, but no one talked about it. I had a really rough high school experience due to my mental health which is a story for another day. I stopped counseling and medication my sophomore year of college to see if I could do it and I was genuinely ok. It’s not like everything was always better but I was coping and felt under control. Recently I have been extremely anxious and depressed, I decided in January I needed help. I have been going to counseling and have been taking some medication to help. I’ve been trying to own my journey by normalizing it in my daily life. I am very lucky and have a great counselor who gets me and thinks this could help. My husband is very supportive so that was a great first step to sharing what I am going through with someone close to me. 

Something happened this past weekend which led me to post here. I shared with my favorite person and cousin that I was getting some help and started a medication routine. She flipped out and yelled at me. I was so thrown off I cried in public. 

I am sad and ashamed at the way I reacted to her response. Never in my dreams did I think she would be so upset with me for trying to get better. 

I’m fully aware other people have gotten this reaction before but I didn’t expect it from her. If you read this far thank you for letting me get my feelings out there. 
",4.263062801932366,5.982537315942032,5.4686956521739125,78.6133816425121,71.4927536231884,8.821256038647341,28.71980676328502,9.348350401419415,2.6595603864734314,1414,55,260,32,27,470,181,345,0.11,0.727,0.163,0.9763,1,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,4,11,19,1,2,9,1,34,7,0,3,1,51,63,24,0,9,7,3,4,2,0,2,7,2,0,2,18,20,0,2,7,3,0,7,4,7,0,2,19,7,48,12,42,38,4,44,0,4,1,0,22,18,0,7,19,189,66,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480428453271396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328178252607393,0.13610753379443982,0.10049890318541534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680871442244769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569797441467595,0.0,0.0,0.15735488062616626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977563320575704,0.1420538292581253,0.0,0.0977178233246168,0.057371512070293375,0.0,0.2298620369742543,0.0902920104839733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006745342409336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995105410543593,0.08701945189835139,0.25158927193694564,0.0,0.08996118286910179,0.06355267793527908,0.08541506178878537,0.0,0.0,0.07566889734950619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18591064890513784,0.0,0.10111545728092107,0.0,0.07114903132168404,0.19615630511580634,0.09799890839426996,0.0,0.15733316767608788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455977868710043,0.0,0.0,0.23851068573846265,0.187981172291598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096710643673288,0.06283471913030796,0.08692222728297219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584693114926291,0.08965024313608529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192467031369975,0.0686110434110735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716141300353278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028125319206853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492189985502031,0.0616733098110278,0.0776759959569229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519860142179676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898356440753323,0.0,0.05698972768417965,0.0,0.0878367649192034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074415758188182,0.0,0.18006350782993116,0.07088919646855561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735882099939754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537508779069466,0.20545608633879003,0.0,0.0,0.12593197078731785,0.0,0.0,0.07437411757248606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095017583545493,0.0,0.0,0.13377293173131466,0.0715022689038276,0.0,0.08190194695752916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400329923514982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079530947001545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680179284792044,0.0,0.07061190299892964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319426982502963,0.0,0.0,0.05728699536316239
mentalhealth,nobo71,2019/03/17,"Is there something wrong with myself? Hello everyone,

​

I don't want to act like I'm having a pity party. So, if it sounds like it fill free to just say so.

​

But I have been really struggling with myself lately. I am a college senior about to graduate in a couple weeks and I feel like my life is falling apart. I still live at home and commute to save a ton of money. But I feel like with everyone in my life that I am just that guy pushed to the wall. There have been various times in my life where the joke between friends, non-friends, or anybody around can be about how unflattering I am. ""You say stupid things"" or things in that nature. It all started in high school when basically I was the joke. I was fine because I knew they were joking. Know and know it feels like the slightest thing that make me feel horrific about myself. I personally take myself out of certain situations so I don't have to deal with some people. 

​

I rarely give eye contact and I pretend to act happy and silly to mask all of my insecurities.  I've tried to talk about this before and people just think I am trying to feel bad about myself and just trying to gain something. And now with college all about down and now I'm trying to go away to find a job and all I get is denied, denied, denied. So, I am just feeling that there is something wrong with me. 

​

I always try to be the nice, good guy. The person that tries to treat everyone with respect and be that person that people can go to if they need something. But I never get anything in return. It's hard to make friends because I have never had something want to do something I like and I'm stuck trying to enjoy something that they like. And as you can tell, the dating scene has been the same. All I have been told is that I'm a great guy and then pushed off to the side.

​

I need to help me, I was bawling my eyes out today and need to figure out something. Depression? Anxiety? Lonely? Just a baby? Suck up? Please anything helps and is appreciated.

​

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mentalhealth,rmariee3,2019/03/17,"Feeling happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time Recently turned 21 and something dawned on me. I have been doing a lot of searching within and self improvement, seeking professional help for mental health, and just overall trying to become the best version of me. Some days are harder than others, but it hit me on my birthday. I finally feel in a place where I am content with myself. I’m not perfect, but I am genuinely happy when I look at myself in the mirror. This is huge for me, as I struggled with a lot throughout my life with how I viewed myself and my self worth.  What dawned on me is that now that I officially turned 21, I feel happy and free, but also confused and lonely at the same time. I have a “real adult” job while still in college (down to the end of it), and I know my goals and aspirations for the future. But the unknown of what’s to come in life is what scares me. Who I’m going to end up with, what path exactly my career is going to take, people I’ll meet, etc. This is what keeps me up at night. Anyone else feel this way? I know your 20s is when you discover yourself, and I know I am just really starting to. 

I guess late night thoughts is what gets the best of me?",4.812222222222225,5.0211356543209895,5.635818930041154,83.51051851851851,69.0,8.126090534979424,27.31111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.4873437037037038,936,27,192,10,15,307,126,243,0.076,0.7759999999999999,0.14800000000000002,0.9608,1,4,1,0,1,0,31.0,0,2,0,4,9,14,0,4,12,0,15,3,0,1,2,43,37,20,0,0,7,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,15,15,0,1,8,0,3,3,1,6,0,0,2,6,33,10,35,34,9,39,0,2,2,0,8,18,0,6,17,143,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517836496401233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321990228407274,0.12194763864311385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314456343733797,0.0,0.0,0.2498033440464786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252315967076046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675653272912647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942396752192427,0.0,0.21082860824768007,0.0,0.1327361312437847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407155826321185,0.0,0.0,0.13037800880408582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218180544856688,0.0,0.13528093693424456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311113503574246,0.0,0.0,0.3800894777274408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651018747357665,0.0,0.0,0.07977501636047211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810664453532314,0.10578834835813436,0.0,0.0,0.1962269496807088,0.0,0.13425708373505774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813136002208526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999448435602006,0.0,0.0,0.20236908550414248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994178945498185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22337998827546296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251184694633247,0.0,0.12434810382741565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546813238493502,0.0762457488109285,0.0,0.11751556265557128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915742200748085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24832271388226246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162559515681787,0.0,0.0,0.08424129928401533,0.0,0.09504764229952947,0.0,0.0,0.12442308046991435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948645453274133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448671300737893,0.13880028782851753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808051661031704,0.25891403450508776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447066406342204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,medicatedwasted,2019/03/17,"I was diagnosed with severe/major depression around a month ago I was diagnosed with severe/major depression around a month ago after a suicide attempt (although I’ve felt like this for years) and I feel like the mental health system/doctors or whatever only cared for about a week and now no ones doing anything to help me anymore. I’m only 14 so I understand if I’m not taken seriously but I’m really just starting to give up, I mean come on I’ve resulted in venting on reddit lol. I haven’t left my bed (for the exception of going to the bathroom right next to me) in 2 days and my mum has done nothing but give me a sandwhich, and no doctor or social worker or anything has checked up on me since. I don’t know what else I can do to make it obvious that I can’t keep living like this, I tried to kill myself because I felt no one cared anymore, I’m feeling like that again. last week I really started to find myself again and all that but today I’ve just went back downhill, I’m beginning to lose myself again I don’t even know how to act or what I’m feeling I don’t even feel human anymore. so, before I get too off track again does anyone have any suggestions or an idea on what I should do from here, considering my age I don’t have much authority or anything but I’d like a recommendation or two, wishing everyone the best ",4.38948717948718,5.013963278388282,5.842216117216117,80.19028388278389,70.06227106227107,8.704029304029303,29.086080586080584,8.841846274778883,2.2266542124542124,1057,38,210,18,18,359,145,273,0.091,0.765,0.14300000000000002,0.8753,0,0,0,0,0,2,20.0,0,0,0,4,18,13,1,0,11,1,18,4,0,3,2,46,49,21,2,3,16,1,6,5,0,1,4,0,1,1,9,10,0,1,12,0,1,4,10,5,0,3,7,6,27,8,30,41,3,39,0,3,0,0,7,13,0,8,27,138,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267471417800215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623390838127402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897776201446688,0.06810287265919203,0.0,0.24045050574995666,0.17340955185267146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489296908924452,0.0,0.05937285265653298,0.0,0.08287843478231728,0.0,0.1022130816217842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19860728995946675,0.0,0.0,0.08389966217266398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281358462028924,0.0,0.16777732814832008,0.1977136260282672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993817448634109,0.08523355409378726,0.09967186220892434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136344328192209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866078187018282,0.0,0.0,0.09306786237809746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19698920836411365,0.13916215101469012,0.18703450607832892,0.0,0.08901991133710282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088638008402088,0.18686587137223246,0.05535346815116545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352940764330168,0.0,0.0,0.06528375582606258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995036791860384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657172406268397,0.10775633989940037,0.0,0.10705467161601176,0.07939228378722668,0.0,0.0,0.10582309768442737,0.0,0.0,0.23791845821203694,0.0,0.08600412552204248,0.0,0.0,0.1089633308664566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501385108717428,0.0,0.0,0.1060948606103106,0.0,0.0,0.09815416973076134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548414080117678,0.0,0.0715986594246491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358376607662,0.0,0.0,0.09345590689796812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199866838990618,0.14815097582782716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124791170851187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317726998758516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056854506202929,0.0,0.0,0.09928488814420497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787746248969546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065374885950365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923218158350821,0.0,0.0,0.06612677720461937,0.0,0.09514359075361337,0.10139464340980353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625343251892995,0.0,0.0,0.09028882426891664,0.0,0.0,0.1120027722892602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272105093686993
mentalhealth,limpingzombi,2019/03/17,"[Serious] Looking for book recommendations about working with existential crisis/midlife crisis invasive, constant thoughts Please, only first hand experience, not something you just looked up on Amazon. Thanks all!",14.173000000000002,17.309821633333346,10.713333333333336,44.97000000000003,49.33333333333334,12.666666666666668,51.66666666666666,12.161744961471696,7.760666666666667,179,11,17,5,2,52,29,30,0.107,0.624,0.27,0.6476,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,1,1,5,3,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,10,1,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408311683410294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30851793340884875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682757857503609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5297066267281871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398729679899033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462102373724572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428073485514349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903743802824016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25038929591012793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22961213787075604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hashtagdang,2019/03/17,"easily depressed and tired hello mental health community, 

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i don't know what i'm doing anymore. i feel like i'm floating through life with no aims or goals. since everything is so meaningless, i don't know what is the point of existing. sometimes i have a whole cloud over my head and i don't know how to deal with it.

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i used to diagnose with depression in the past but now i've taken on meditations and it helped a bit. however, when there are minor changes (gloomy weather, bad allergies, confrontation with parents), i feel like giving up. i don't know what is wrong with me anymore. 

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i feel absolutely useless. 

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i've been unemployed for two years now and i feel like an absolute failure. i try to get my shit together by following a new career path which involves creating a design portfolio. but in reality, i just don't have any motivation. 

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i feel like i've just given up. i don't know that i'm just vomiting words out. i'm just tired. i'm just really, really, really tired.

​

​",3.1707575757575768,6.005023954545457,4.428080808080812,79.34545454545456,79.65656565656566,8.44848484848485,28.696969696969692,9.095868883498916,3.0857090909090905,845,39,148,24,22,277,111,198,0.219,0.69,0.091,-0.9816,4,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,0,0,0,2,11,11,2,0,7,0,14,9,2,3,0,32,35,10,0,0,8,1,5,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,11,0,1,1,7,7,0,1,3,5,17,4,19,32,2,15,0,3,0,0,6,8,1,1,10,85,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4581561289593845,0.5138071610884279,0.04107877891399701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981487109415932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043725730028865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594871439095068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390251460104035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06227688489973843,0.10405678810484532,0.0613117550390256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05428984710994398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527177758454714,0.17261887073977805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03156012393488935,0.05794782464355976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061994930142684535,0.06420973413187032,0.0,0.0,0.04048948699836042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659903248389624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042667195985709415,0.11804708474325205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060875970275624636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058341382414651234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707473904037611,0.0,0.057665242953958286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710406724496394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160946645705736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062006838135619635,0.04996923072957643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059743991204185574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208286614463353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04101233533504862,0.0,0.059008786060955026,0.0,0.0,0.05217218622829686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744217199865807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660454871933061,0.5138071610884279,0.03890007773446852
mentalhealth,sadbademo,2019/03/17,"How old were you when you first started going to therapy? Im 16 years old, and once I get a job i plan on finding a therapist, so I was wondering how old other people were when they started going. Any tips or something to share?",2.2828723404255307,3.949501489361701,4.30739361702128,85.10875000000001,76.65957446808511,7.253191489361702,26.643617021276608,8.07648339933343,1.7517276595744682,178,7,36,3,4,61,34,47,0.0,0.94,0.06,0.3736,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,1,2,5,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,6,9,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,6,1,3,6,0,12,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,9,23,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385067814890163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18615633153887184,0.1732468480746668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641239358082616,0.0,0.2315077248269499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22000521704531936,0.0,0.2021171732171568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6411716422944944,0.21690847618364745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120341262198555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679986812170402,0.0,0.0,0.28832608607949034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23292145353149005,0.2364837343311881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22087812057002326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116077714856125
mentalhealth,ratzy88,2019/03/17,"need help finding a healthy way to deal with anxiety and stress every day i get stressed out and have mini anxiety attacks about the same things 

1 Money 

2. Being alone 

3. School and work (i really dislike school and work and plan to retire early) 

4 Other shit i stressed about earlier but now forget 

Im fucking 22 years old i do not need stress or anxiety in my life ",3.4288127853881254,5.2062228630137,4.5111643835616455,84.38994292237444,73.7945205479452,7.606392694063928,27.235159817351605,8.344100000000001,1.930499543378996,291,11,56,5,6,95,56,73,0.299,0.654,0.047,-0.9337,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,3,7,3,4,2,0,3,3,1,0,0,15,7,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,5,0,7,6,1,8,0,0,0,1,2,2,2,1,5,29,7,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504927244712917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334750364096797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530603630628155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371005676249117,0.14980363825291315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242619003102125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280663720785793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13433263645724894,0.07591615086031908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739524501126563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569549249409905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263360479573708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21548444336489875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247372818723345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308645394634238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29411394140914154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915405554130914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6657880510139861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653454861277556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533677951576048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115683370865078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093572008014309
mentalhealth,Huggy_Bear48,2019/03/17,"How to help my girlfriend? I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for about two years. I’m a year older than her and was a freshman in college when she was in high school. She came this year to join me at school and was overly optimistic about everything. Fast forward to now, she hates her roommate, her sorority, her major/classes, her “friends” and I’m pretty much the only thing she has left.  
  
She is diagnosed with depression and bi-polar disorder and takes medication (this is like her 3rd different one) and it seems like the longer she gets into school, the worse it gets. I, personally, am enjoying school and have never experienced the difficulties she faces on a daily basis and have no idea how to help her as time goes by.  

She goes to a therapist/psychiatrist very infrequently and feels like they don’t help at all, especially since it’s usually every 2-3 months or so. She hates it when I talk to her parents/sister about it and I just kind of feel helpless in the whole situation regarding this portion of her life. 
  
Basically, I just want to know what I can do to help her. Is it normal for therapy appointments to be this infrequent? She is under the impression that the health center at our school is terrible and their mental health resources will lead to nothing, and doesn’t want to change her major because she’s studying what she loves even though her grades have been suffering. I’m just kind of lost on what I can do to help her and any help/resources will be appreciated. 

tl;dr my girlfriend has depression and bi-polar disorder and things seem to be getting worse as time goes on and idk what to do to help",6.4877475038077534,7.026487102893893,6.6534912844813014,76.51430022000342,65.43086816720258,10.277271958030122,31.80250465391775,10.186864033877496,3.102410932475884,1303,48,244,29,19,418,161,311,0.117,0.7340000000000001,0.15,0.8154,3,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,2,2,14,17,2,0,11,0,28,7,1,3,2,37,47,25,0,3,4,0,2,3,4,2,5,0,0,1,17,19,0,0,6,0,0,3,4,8,0,2,7,3,38,9,40,35,5,33,0,5,0,1,41,16,0,3,19,169,55,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102953970771355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470759550989383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264413993117248,0.0,0.0,0.0949380959066942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459412498110886,0.09108908024110823,0.0,0.09376421206961763,0.2057106258747949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059275592274966676,0.0,0.075613862465272,0.0,0.08065683711920338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075533218305216,0.06411370118966922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933660784450851,0.0,0.14066385767433795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17720881500628574,0.0,0.19078904594642035,0.0,0.0,0.4210783216753768,0.09482030577736593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131095248281158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691079236734587,0.04932139361817282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750798495761036,0.0,0.06338940446789633,0.13153432446473004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796704777301908,0.0,0.08099818351832726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040844174225887,0.09044164757088022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163344106406347,0.0,0.06597275225284886,0.0,0.06921672034101788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793084682078724,0.08611255352949197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060813397327347474,0.06825496247309762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836169546566944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913027227860972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4541326310406866,0.0,0.16340058593608406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423782380092794,0.10087691242973812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747691876195888,0.07213346867227098,0.0,0.0,0.10263099715594573,0.10420062685333667,0.11924491124168712,0.0,0.08817380777974404,0.0,0.104661826137213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876676266242165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884121527930352,0.07404885668503466,0.10586761342024398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019686131819494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18291523131272971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733781213676703
mentalhealth,IntroVirtual,2019/03/17,"If I Was Gone Knowing that all you do means nothing to this world is a hard fact to accept. Sure, you can change a few lives here and there, but pain and suffering is inevitable. If I was gone, the world would feel happier with someone like me dragging down those around me with my ""cruel, mechanical logic"" and such.

Everybody would be better off if I was gone. It does not matter how much good I do, how much I am willing and have sacrificed, nor how much care I put into someone or something.

I'm. Still. Nothing.",3.582599009900992,5.200404029702971,4.171373762376238,87.64240717821781,73.05940594059406,7.030198019801983,26.48638613861386,7.6454224807358475,1.3691673267326738,401,14,81,5,8,127,71,101,0.126,0.708,0.166,0.6855,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,1,8,9,1,0,3,0,14,1,0,3,3,28,22,13,0,5,6,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,5,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,6,2,11,6,8,12,5,11,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,4,2,63,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304201515510645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191590113131044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19818634736037594,0.0,0.20563136078825184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17010580791710297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828584762186572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303917536722565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412892043637662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682777223218726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496567867630444,0.0,0.17164368436441102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117399910381632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42868144840504296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730313188632644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20683713761184874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19540852892384694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294000437437749,0.14964547264243724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523445529733107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320360673637803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761681061324151,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PastEssay,2019/03/17,I can't describe my issues. I just can't describe them. The only thing I can say is I feel like something is missing- but I don't know what. I've been in therapy and tried talking about it but I can't describe it. All I can say is something is missing.,-1.0365000000000002,1.0630552363636383,1.4657954545454537,96.7986931818182,96.63636363636364,3.4772727272727275,23.238636363636363,5.148860815047168,0.13268181818181812,198,9,44,1,8,67,33,55,0.095,0.867,0.038,-0.3919,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,11,0,0,0,1,7,15,3,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,3,9,1,2,14,1,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154352142566272,0.21808277064137507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186193857836372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776673273509482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913801252792686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23216927193332434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4855210635768493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4700188254278021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453620117404245,0.0,0.0,0.3490993625097751,0.0,0.2028057977150621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20725622133917732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuchGarden2,2019/03/17,"Welbutrin and always feeling hot...? Been on welbutrin for depression and anxiety for about 3 months now. It helps with those issues, I love it for that. However, I have to deal with the side effect of feeling extra warm all the time, sweating alot, etc. My doctor said working out and getting in shape would help with this, since it's a med that makes your heart work harder. Wherein, a stronger/healthier heart wouldn't cause the body to heat up as much. 

Any experience with this? ",5.037255216693421,6.977088359550568,4.483178170144464,85.5659550561798,69.89887640449439,7.3329052969502415,28.4446227929374,7.957251820313856,1.8062218298555368,380,14,70,5,7,114,69,89,0.058,0.784,0.158,0.8105,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,6,0,4,6,4,3,1,17,10,4,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,8,8,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,5,4,2,16,6,5,9,0,1,0,1,6,6,0,1,3,46,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981920984052767,0.0,0.0,0.13061548045409205,0.0,0.1469344800574604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133485847021959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973107530034084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980176981256828,0.16543124859284625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659373148567236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142109437397412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788317682517264,0.0,0.0,0.19423465052550348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034964183274853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552122596481099,0.2574834957340253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004731648663828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335239142919298,0.0,0.12820948670338336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133485847021959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330996048754358,0.0,0.14119494876831792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827043637592769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588838629631492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119986712302445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796612658727206,0.0,0.0,0.13644236906643456,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,connectingdots18,2019/03/17,"Any good resources around to help combat perfectionist thinking? Hi there everyone,

Any resources would be helpful if anyone knows of any particular books, podcasts etc that have helped them with   
perfectionist thinking and the things that fuel it (fear, anxiety etc).

Cheers!",10.382015503875973,12.901629372093025,7.837209302325583,64.40294573643413,57.6046511627907,10.38449612403101,39.91472868217054,10.504223727775694,4.884091472868216,225,11,29,5,3,65,36,43,0.073,0.626,0.3,0.9134,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,6,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,18,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44710196970072974,0.0,0.16765418418054748,0.0,0.0,0.15323937668967658,0.0,0.0,0.1950958204870443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4888350372381913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20941350436170367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466120821539507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838181418616086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4406881087444085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12044272517145745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559789392777325,0.28085337518532977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568254683685326,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stargazer_001,2019/03/17,"Feeling disconnected/like I'm not really present? Lately I've been feeling very tired and just kind of disconnected from my surroundings. It's not so bad when I'm out with people and socializing, but more like I'm at home and I feel like time is passing by really fast and I'm not really experiencing much even though I'm physically here. It's almost like I'm numb at times. 

I honestly don't know if this is normal, but I don't feel sad or unsatisfied in any way. Just kind of distant. Just wondering if anyone has felt this way before and things that may help?",2.5046822204344323,4.786388221238937,4.4977795655671775,81.11260659694287,78.29203539823007,8.356878519710378,22.662107803700728,9.095868883498916,1.871007079646017,451,14,91,12,11,154,71,113,0.069,0.708,0.223,0.9568,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,28,20,13,0,3,11,0,5,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,2,6,4,6,9,17,2,14,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,6,9,49,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17165887285698994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165758954863092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986539160174325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431339633528174,0.0,0.0,0.14587132161423072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132255835949263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467135479004626,0.12246712272323892,0.1645963190591754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490356649834188,0.0,0.17195475236850996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35702863073576474,0.09421151880233712,0.0,0.19337655387142516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25125098001885504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601819886575735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796156841581386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188455474538346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294606081605276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474772403648556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138881464349974,0.0,0.16842566156634806,0.0,0.19992033634223716,0.1970295388584327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414448121211088,0.0,0.2721407459524509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859047219346828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ealayoub,2019/03/17,"I feel absolutely terrible. Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing okay. I’m an 18 year old studying abroad (first year), and everything’s going pretty smooth in my life. I’ve always struggled with anxiety, and I think it’s pretty bad. I don’t get anxious as frequently anymore, but my whole life revolves around how anxious I feel. I usually can’t eat most of the time because of how anxious I get. I’m currently studying in the UK, and my anxiety lessened quite a bit a few months after moving abroad, which made me feel great. I’m now back home for a two week holiday, and on the second night (about 24 hours ago), I started bawling my eyes out for the most irrational reasons. Bear in mind, I’m an unusually large, hairy and manly guy and I’ve always been proud of my mental fortitude. But these past few months have been pretty bad for me mentally.

 I attribute the worsening of my mental health to a few things. I’m an Arab, but I can’t speak Arabic fluently at all. I don’t even think I can have a full conversation in Arabic. I never could. I’ve always felt like I would never be able to integrate myself into my culture, and 18 years on, I still can’t. I also really dislike how most people in my country refuse to take other opinions or beliefs seriously. I have drastically different views on religion, and I’ll never be accepted if I reveal my beliefs (or lack thereof ) and will probably be ostracized by most. In the UK or US or wherever I’ll land in the future, I’ll never be able to totally fit in. I feel like I’m some ugly duckling that won’t fit in anywhere. 

The second reason is that I honestly never found a reason to live. There just isn’t very much pleasure to be had or reason to continue. I’ve been told to “cherish the little things in life”, but then what? Yes, I do enjoy hanging out with friends and family, and I absolutely do cherish every moment of it, but that doesn’t last forever. I’ll be alone again, which is totally fine, but I’ll inevitably have another bout of deep sadness. I know I study abroad and I was lucky enough to have been awarded scholarship, but I honestly think that none of this effort is worth the trouble that life is. The only reason I go on is for my mother. I absolutely love her, and I do not think I’d be able to live without her. I do not know where life will take me, and if feeling better is even possible for me. Whether I die happily or die terribly depressed, I do not know. I don’t want to feel this way anymore and I’d love any advice. My mother isn’t aware of how I feel, should I tell her? Would therapy help at all?
Thank you all :)",3.6378241898318393,4.916427871892925,5.275564053537284,81.1245457665343,72.38432122370938,8.576339657792813,28.13300975633672,9.057496981413335,2.3171948717948725,2039,77,402,42,39,693,245,523,0.132,0.669,0.199,0.9932,2,1,0,0,0,0,66.0,1,1,0,6,16,30,0,1,20,2,47,10,1,11,11,100,83,38,2,9,21,2,9,2,1,6,6,1,1,2,16,21,1,1,25,1,2,4,20,9,0,4,10,12,56,21,51,59,21,64,2,2,2,2,20,27,0,16,34,268,72,2,0.20558688211842246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696570727765479,0.060746788865109015,0.0,0.0,0.0709753360383647,0.0,0.054802585117869236,0.17106475514427613,0.0,0.0,0.04660204323837009,0.07185859045054498,0.1048489347363676,0.2322546588143661,0.13592462947887704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061005304011844674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052694540742723936,0.1144376394660532,0.041774618383646496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060829679765972,0.0748158762458931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471479887156965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902389343972929,0.0,0.14224448377079912,0.07159817829213856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012223507617764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708087353553396,0.0,0.0905254644687696,0.0,0.057738605024763225,0.06548235869881107,0.06158941110978455,0.0,0.06460300523243255,0.0,0.2425521111853379,0.0489571032212008,0.06579854905402023,0.0,0.0,0.05829069896860758,0.0,0.07513846827188092,0.05294530504812738,0.0,0.07160710708082364,0.0,0.07789317523963805,0.0,0.0,0.07555342110700404,0.0,0.06785444520693362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284308067195452,0.0,0.0,0.04593351783283129,0.0,0.0687401350981827,0.06806472060857092,0.06748722218762639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129851738508322,0.05586024941404975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420201579444379,0.06695957733901994,0.06868402183149774,0.12102465562456782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370012517310333,0.06484375958110089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20718322262464406,0.0,0.06919471490246544,0.0,0.10939832526243998,0.07283544001589061,0.05037667116229222,0.0,0.2642687958649798,0.0,0.0,0.06430978734360174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190961644910335,0.0,0.0,0.05211936265025768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654186472075443,0.04750935275278932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725610653062016,0.0,0.2091557689327047,0.07388581024425044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288898510748902,0.0,0.0,0.04390140701268084,0.35229592544100563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048505151104431515,0.0,0.05472731654239136,0.0,0.0,0.07164134896263644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305049983325867,0.0,0.05989733219337825,0.06309225986197554,0.07836883892561816,0.0,0.09105519288290403,0.17564236376936118,0.0,0.0,0.039959788083054386,0.0,0.0,0.06548235869881107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694283696245304,0.0,0.08243190198110596,0.0,0.07547496851917057,0.056543569515922536,0.040420156548630286,0.05439509924797375,0.05496979867527827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651013731813101,0.0,0.06605947265905414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736201498741154,0.0,0.0,0.13239121165356493
mentalhealth,themrgreeson,2019/03/17,"Hello (Thanks Adele) Hello World,
     It’s been a while. I know that I committed to posting on a regular basis when I created this blog, but life has been very tumultuous as of late. Hopefullly things will calm down soon.
     In my last post (12/5/18) I had posted that I had to leave work because of my anxiety. Unfortunately that resulted in my termination from my former job. When I was working at BriovaRx I was unsatisfied after two and a half years of employment. I was informed of an new opportunity with an up and coming company called PharmaCord. At first I felt like it was going to be a great fit and a switch that would result in a much happier work experience. Unfortunately after being there for a while I realized that the company was sorely mismanaged and had no clear sense of direction. I became extremely unsatisfied and due to the work environment that was created I suffered from extreme anxiety that affected my stability. Things quickly went downhill and like I said above I was terminated. 
     My being fired ultimately resulted in three months of unemployment. I struggled very badly with depression and my sense of purpose. It also took a major toll on my marriage. I am not equipped to be a house husband. While things began to become more and more rocky I had to do a lot of soul searching and self evaluation. Even more so, I learned what is important to me.
     Even at this point there is a large part of the story that is missing. Like I have said in previous posts, I have been guilty of being unfaithful in my marriage. This is and will always be something that I am deeply ashamed of. However, this led to unfortunate circumstances. On the same day that I was fired from PharmaCord over the phone, I learned that I had contracted HIV during my periods of infidelity. As an adult gay man who has always been very familiar and comfortable surrounding HIV (I had even been in relationships with those who are positive), I had always assumed that if I were to acquire it I would not be affected in an extreme negative way. Unfortunately I did not find that to be the case.
     I remember standing with David and revealing the results of my OraQuik test. I immediately burst into tears. It was much harder than I ever thought it would be. Being the amazing man that he is, David was extremely comforting and did everything he could to help the situation. That is a day that I will remember until the day I die. David has been tested many times since and luckily remains negative. It turns out that we caught it very early, and achieving an undetectable status was not difficult for me. 
     Now things are looking up. I found a new job that is much better suited for me and that makes me very happy. My marriage is once again improving and things are looking up.
     I am so grateful for the amazing man that my husband is, and for his continued love and support. It’s only up from here! More to come soon!

https://www.fundamentallyaltered.com",5.346150539483297,7.421074674676527,6.198814426342263,73.02902420152176,69.35120147874306,9.986347418647636,32.174741005029446,10.260061789724556,3.7182950694235473,2353,106,405,67,43,774,253,541,0.146,0.696,0.157,0.8704,6,0,1,0,0,0,60.0,1,0,0,9,17,22,0,2,29,0,65,6,0,8,3,64,86,32,1,5,6,2,3,3,0,6,4,2,0,5,42,28,0,0,13,1,0,7,7,7,0,4,36,7,55,15,67,33,11,70,1,3,2,4,26,26,0,3,34,320,97,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648363966703902,0.2075268441494372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719726234616324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941488955533616,0.05067878951098652,0.09181691863260537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352682645284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489090919947646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322819703100326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637714196890761,0.0,0.0,0.16084706853235092,0.0,0.07160471088640577,0.0,0.0862817965913638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473116224778078,0.07520105728202289,0.0,0.0,0.07471706319548982,0.08132272875541666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982336994710655,0.0,0.07598458128730842,0.07071523757197946,0.0,0.09115407309667446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047247970000096326,0.0,0.0,0.09165747224672924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849956565941189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572414953910119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592750852705886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499883351722738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04568924117880218,0.06776674286015881,0.0937807618481786,0.08802876920290592,0.0,0.0,0.0587212480518236,0.12184780341538345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962620535344086,0.0,0.0,0.07067905277366747,0.07503327198058263,0.0,0.055493767389042346,0.08428661504867586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663581728971582,0.0,0.18334305467389447,0.0,0.0,0.16058607599170424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853687437991317,0.0,0.06322849403295062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002792985145522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859016792625986,0.0,0.3184843205796794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925669681428168,0.18835322635196325,0.0,0.15816229709860827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672873208702364,0.0,0.0,0.06877076228803597,0.09344808090899112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640019720341609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691155023888604,0.0,0.0,0.09434147869453373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654024096529445,0.0,0.0,0.2761585343291511,0.0,0.0,0.06600050949898871,0.04847713198877508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236689169897297,0.0,0.09042783715229896,0.08121156039133418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429785559476293,0.0,0.06598929904998099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706768523973549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420953025413889,0.0,0.0,0.17717178234633965,0.0,0.0,0.05353670568476114
mentalhealth,Milli63,2019/03/17,"Needing to pee makes me suicidal (sometimes) Recently my body started to almost freak out due to lack of stimulation when I'm trying to fall asleep. It started almost out of nowhere, one night I couldn't sleep for almost 3 hours because my limbs were touching. I wanted to shoot myself I swear to God (not to the point I'd do it but I definitely wished I could at least be knocked out).

I've never really had any real issues with sensory overload, now I can't sleep well at night because I either need to pee or my body parts are touching each other. It causes a stupidly large amount of distress and makes me want to self harm.

What could be going on? How do i deal? ",3.8829323308270673,5.272945451127821,4.768428571428572,84.56407142857147,71.93233082706767,7.124511278195487,26.833834586466175,7.554174236665415,1.4446246616541356,527,18,103,6,10,171,90,133,0.202,0.7509999999999999,0.047,-0.9667,0,0,0,1,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,1,2,0,11,7,7,5,1,29,22,5,1,9,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,4,1,1,2,2,14,1,20,15,6,19,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,4,10,67,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42689263033075103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663621388366976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17325167209436448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156930463584069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459808903393116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269184198344993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650392558599618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076149691584962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994471453493085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832060924641366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971226589543985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21073798489708592,0.10960006946202404,0.0,0.0,0.26671166896101844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629396681121248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388577284958072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13433507523349256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174650181672964,0.09103604612723083,0.0,0.1403114580080913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824641627878252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844150791097181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054539265539234,0.0,0.20116517778465992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554397103555154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647990797399564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763431909907245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776938297840762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341363695772773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sixshot87,2019/03/17,"Depressed before relationship, now going through break up. How to tell the difference between regular depression and break-up depression. As the title says, I have always dealt with depression from my teens now into my early 30s.

My ex and I split a few days ago and I am feeling waves of depression. 

Breaksups are hard enough with breakup depression, now I am worried that my regular depression will add on to that and make it harder for me to heal.

Any advice/words of wisdom? ",4.7423275862068985,7.363387873563219,5.198376436781611,77.16239224137931,72.5632183908046,8.947701149425287,30.415229885057467,9.516144504307137,3.333874712643679,383,17,63,10,8,122,61,87,0.28300000000000003,0.67,0.048,-0.9756,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,2,0,11,8,6,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,3,9,1,15,7,2,11,0,7,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930495391751098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137552559888293,0.0,0.0,0.0991966022562942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412462636811722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407408262853682,0.0,0.8794633222082833,0.0,0.0,0.15240310340025573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072270375328894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375625502269874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290128270989994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306708684239439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973693578570052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660978993039287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600167898119945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274968096872543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813806593851742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Darkhomer00,2019/03/17,"I think I’m anhedonic So I don’t really feel happy ever, it’s like the receptors for ”feel good” hormones in my head are just gone. I enjoy nothing and I’m not excited for anything, I have no motivation and don’t feel much towards people either. It’s been like this for a couple of years at least but I think it’s only gotten worse with time. People have said that I should try to deal with any hidden away emotions but I have no clue how to do that. Living like this is hell and the only thing that keeps me going is the hope of it getting better.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, just don’t know where to turn.",2.6103149606299207,3.953653692913388,4.322055118110239,86.69568110236222,75.06299212598425,6.654803149606299,20.574015748031496,7.1686216300943375,0.4567077165354325,477,10,100,5,10,161,80,127,0.152,0.685,0.16399999999999998,-0.0846,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,7,10,1,0,5,0,12,1,1,2,1,23,28,7,0,2,6,0,3,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,1,7,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,4,4,9,9,15,23,3,10,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,1,6,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067668257654506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603179381937748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672646826459786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15694608403208762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963525305126281,0.0,0.0,0.18295012825566268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19961497084143426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051979970951571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691824106760923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271383324564564,0.0,0.10085276663935562,0.14884231155652272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889060216367984,0.0,0.0,0.18212183282874225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625460414960584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773172261974566,0.0,0.0,0.0975255948250386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600892288778691,0.0,0.15669757092020212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045113760397326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17027454799598996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26992772614993016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24605234805863346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368334499056801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16880201668344536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986483150852062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178943866502945,0.2274142538254357,0.0,0.0,0.10347646427559123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048149199644545,0.19302199772823814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084359978182588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142763357886925
mentalhealth,demusique,2019/03/17,"Mandated reporters in the US who have done group therapy, I have a question. Will I be obligated to report fellow patients to CPS if they talk about abusing a child? 

I understand there is an understanding that everything said in the group stays in the group, but I believe I will break the law if I do not report suspected child abuse. ",6.481190476190478,7.333338031746035,6.847738095238098,74.02017857142856,65.50793650793649,10.744444444444444,34.79761904761905,10.686352973137794,3.88744761904762,268,12,48,7,4,87,44,63,0.126,0.841,0.032,-0.7783,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,8,0,0,0,0,9,11,3,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,8,0,6,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,3,0,36,10,3,0.0,0.5329314557082432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533814850140488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301473320587999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20212258710210795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519356924663096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139281932691958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23970988113847114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18076339000425534,0.0,0.0,0.25718889312968035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4682506406252386,0.2705229517208611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bulletpyton,2019/03/17,"I locked my bedroom door Sorry for bad writing and spelling.

tonight I locked my bedroom door. I hav'nt locked my bedroom door since I was with my ex, I would lock the bedroom door every night without fail. suppose for all the normal reasons fear paranoia, knowing that there is a locked door between the room and the now unknown house been retaken by the dark abyss. but a locked door is nothing to the dark that can seep though and in to ones mind, in to a mind that already is home to a pool of darkness covered by a craked dome, offering little in the way of protection. over time the darkness overflows and fills the mind, been stirred up and feed by a monster, a monster of the darkness one you lock your door to help keep out, but one you lock in the room with you and sleep in the bed beside only subconsciously knowing. a monster wearing a face of a girl you said you once loved, now your not even sure what love is. the monster masquerading using her face, you see it your dreams night after night dad dream after bad dream, the monster having it's fun using faces of friends and loved one's to attack me, violently beating me to a bloody mess or another I longed for always there but never to touch, and the spell dream the monster once again wearing her face sitting over me with a spell in her hands trying to place it over my head, till I woke up shouting at her what the fuck are you doing. it's not fair to call her a monster I have called her a bitch to her face was I her monster?",8.753783993783994,6.32454648148148,7.742222222222225,80.24615384615386,62.299663299663294,10.081222481222484,37.660968660968656,7.321109707123232,2.6799947681947685,1183,44,240,7,13,363,141,297,0.161,0.716,0.123,-0.8724,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,10,0,2,7,15,4,1,31,0,14,15,10,3,3,34,26,14,0,2,7,2,2,0,1,1,0,2,15,1,9,12,1,2,3,5,0,1,4,9,0,4,6,5,35,6,43,19,1,34,0,1,1,4,31,18,2,1,13,159,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620747574377245,0.0,0.09516299384789896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992438644412452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010964039886355,0.0,0.0,0.19098431534814886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335641859635797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553871232318514,0.0,0.09635962434442463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869533100722172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836011370642646,0.10573099091735813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173741389015731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665818253300803,0.0,0.11472001432325996,0.0,0.0,0.13196483965078698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165516584364524,0.0,0.0,0.1257068692496276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462636721668053,0.0,0.10121171520331246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096636363467657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464359797969577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820733332432057,0.0,0.0,0.3219786976551419,0.11205595233056216,0.10973878385397932,0.0,0.0,0.2435954943504324,0.30999374614742403,0.08698170321045548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948978609747606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758892691989126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878976477081397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911361592991885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460604947790467,0.0,0.11445018150370155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280251497869547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077900968861126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236557315896767,0.0,0.06668865946647849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764808401613986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975537489618884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077966687044914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024627226596824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124345215458115,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cjp2341,2019/03/17,"My story You’ve probably seen a lot of people’s stories here. So why read about mine? I’m not sure. My name is Chris, and I’m 20 years old. Growing up I was different from the other kids. I got bullied and molded into what other people saw of me. I was picked on for my looks, height, interests and so on. At the time I didn’t realize what was happening, but now I’m realizing that it was pretty damaging. I’ve never been in a relationship because I was lead to believe by other people that I’m too ugly for a girl to like me. During my junior year of high school I learned several things about my life. After 22 years of marriage my parents started off January 1st 2015 by telling my brother and me they were getting divorced. I was in denial from this for a long time and there’s still some loose ends that I need to tie up. Around that same time I found out I was sick for most of my life and I didn’t even know it . I got diagnosed with PANs/PANDAS. A pediatric neurological disorder associated with strep infections. So as a kid when I had strep throat, it evolved into a neurological thing that caused my immune system to attack parts of my brain, changing my behavior and giving me my anxiety and depression. I saw countless doctors and had electrodes on my head too many times. During this time I was taking a class in high school about astronomy. It changed my view of the world for the better. Looking out to space through a telescope with your own eyes is nothing like I’ve ever experienced before. Everyone knows what the moon looks like, but to see it with your own eyes is completely different. 

Fast forward to today, I’m still working on my anxiety and depression. Trying to boost my confidence and self worth. Focusing on hobbies like; astronomy, photography, music, meditation and yoga. I’m doing my best I can and seeking some extra help from my therapist. I’m trying. That’s all any of us really can do. 

Thanks for reading if you got this far, I appreciate it and you. ",3.9683695923981013,5.743588232558143,5.377934483620908,78.74061515378848,72.35917312661498,8.6111194465283,28.504542802367247,9.19923166143015,2.547548703842628,1574,62,295,35,31,528,207,387,0.102,0.76,0.138,0.9345,3,0,0,0,1,0,42.0,1,4,1,4,17,13,1,0,14,0,21,15,5,3,4,47,48,22,0,2,4,2,0,4,0,0,10,0,0,4,23,23,0,0,6,3,1,3,4,4,0,0,21,11,46,9,54,27,11,48,0,3,10,0,19,24,0,5,26,201,69,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639010970874247,0.0,0.14376970391257926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365096428430954,0.0,0.10690155468872596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728169323969914,0.0,0.07995938993954901,0.10586915243001327,0.09861305503398504,0.0831065847941598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489876555773824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653046897833208,0.19881023231974787,0.0,0.09852309709699814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186807629346625,0.09537499689442352,0.0,0.1963519976549727,0.1076948534995976,0.09617968007138683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322728115280419,0.0,0.0,0.06206462305004914,0.08499894997681498,0.0,0.08978993773562803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303047296622728,0.0,0.0,0.04909412102722823,0.09014215286938466,0.0,0.0,0.2254630926360201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309511715413721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643772660014382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298440966609782,0.1985635675562188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328412035143064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274399605884996,0.18363102366939424,0.0,0.0,0.0831582477269007,0.23672700770245805,0.0,0.0,0.07988777669158886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526825865452436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967568311982765,0.07247350033717327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901643150167596,0.0,0.0986030453370812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433974730617672,0.10175760531214444,0.0,0.1954356216070632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559869173260724,0.1013128181880554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798578375945266,0.0,0.06019796294000398,0.0,0.0,0.10088588886670488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902001783770998,0.07487990196249697,0.0,0.09802855739875058,0.10615648635826196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651065392369886,0.0,0.15008507458875472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885632217708787,0.0,0.07065183774314503,0.0,0.08213170440165146,0.08651261495731223,0.0,0.10910346702621462,0.12485561396874358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27396591656154634,0.0,0.08907016754929792,0.0,0.0,0.12759547831320675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303128801997908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847910196082407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840943217448825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153589588601327
mentalhealth,basskitty97,2019/03/17,"I just realized I’m anorexic. What do I do if I don’t have means to a therapist right now I’m sad and don’t understand why I am like this, but I should probably get help for it. I’m also kind of confused because I don’t have body dysmorphia, in fact I love my body, but I have chronic loss of appetite, I go through weeks where I hate food and have no interest in eating, and as a result I barely eat and starve myself. I am really petite and I low key kind of panic if I see any chub. How do I get myself to want to eat? ",1.3370306513409955,2.2803561896551727,3.9832183908045984,89.46139846743297,77.6206896551724,7.569348659003833,23.233716475095786,8.167268648758528,1.0832118773946355,402,12,96,7,9,143,69,116,0.222,0.644,0.133,-0.9017,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,1,2,2,0,13,8,2,2,1,19,25,12,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,4,0,3,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,0,1,18,5,11,24,0,8,0,3,1,1,2,5,0,3,3,62,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346711262286784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145192263096818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265637822374432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741136160801167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5169522761236567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20363252965886508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17596632961403325,0.0,0.09570681394397806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626224355425076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287640108377768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3507298176153974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227277666415964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198950136987646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343929339917056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19758362073182006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18156598373070515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078827196327559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438145028479527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419469820929752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19552785790910626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17531256117930796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993279421588566,0.0,0.13508203454711892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195673323511194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,completeoverdose,2019/03/17,"My six year old son is speaking a language that's pretty much extinct He's become extremely aggressive, mostly towards female members of the family which I won't go into to much detail but he has been speaking cornish in his sleep which I originally thought was Welsh and we had it translated and we have no relatives or family members that speak this language nor are we from Cornwall, the translation of what he was saying was ""I'll slice your cunt"" repeatedly, I thought for months he was talking gibberish, is he mentally Ill? What action should we take and how has he learned this language.",7.0655064935064935,8.080807109090909,7.05857142857143,72.44500000000002,64.27272727272727,10.285714285714286,37.532467532467535,10.290406445055957,4.1687922077922055,482,24,79,11,7,154,78,110,0.11,0.871,0.019,-0.8792,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,4,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,3,0,14,2,1,2,0,17,18,7,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,9,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,8,4,10,0,8,8,3,10,0,0,0,0,18,3,1,2,5,56,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692199663517847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4596010481182068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853761466897013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24565840223737814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945713855419536,0.0,0.35839154515480953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255791003614134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24799726234505845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19385219840189344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439416562375159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18328140293964856,0.19592956494940594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870453334993211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569770617189771
mentalhealth,goodluck-lol,2019/03/17,taking emotions out on people around me I tend to lash out on people I care about. When I don’t get my way I get really upset and angry. I don’t know why I lash out and I really want to stop that from happening. I don’t know why I do that or how to stop it.,0.03450000000000132,1.039100116666667,3.25,93.135,81.16666666666666,6.8000000000000025,15.333333333333336,7.554174236665415,-0.2482666666666673,197,2,51,3,5,72,33,60,0.196,0.722,0.08199999999999999,-0.7644,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,13,13,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,11,1,11,13,0,10,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,3,34,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378437426302366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448488837808238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701363755262205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25093687881773274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21236381166788232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639602690722249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329794815193219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076924205033068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40155223035095255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805628787627024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14164666524216687,0.1906198558316389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.433395962022917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,katyrayne,2019/03/17,"I want to go back to therapy. This is why I haven't. This is going to be long, but if you want to read it, thanks, I need advice.

Back when I first went to the doctor for my anxiety and depression, I was put on meds and therapy was recommended. My mom made me go, and I was kind of on board, but skeptical.
The therapist I met with made me uncomfortable, he'd just stare, waiting for me to talk instead of engaging in a conversation. I was really creeped out, plus for some reason I'm uncomfortable around grown men.
I told my mom I liked him, to please her, and went back for a second appointment. I couldn't do it, I stayed there for around 15 minutes and I had to leave. My mom was pissed. I haven't been back to therapy, it's been 3 years.
I've gone through a lot, been in some bad places mentally, and could have really used professional help, but I'm scared to ask my mom about it. We're not very open to eachother, we don't really talk about our feelings in my family. And knowing how she is, I don't want to tell her I want to find a therapist. I need advice
Thanks",3.0692432735426003,3.960989049327356,4.661768497757848,86.46422225336325,73.30493273542602,9.162443946188342,24.699831838565025,9.516144504307137,1.7858881165919285,830,24,191,20,16,280,116,223,0.141,0.7340000000000001,0.126,-0.8154,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,2,1,0,1,13,10,2,1,6,0,22,2,1,5,0,40,47,14,0,9,6,4,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,14,0,1,4,1,0,8,6,5,0,2,16,2,34,5,33,27,3,27,0,1,1,0,21,10,1,4,9,126,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872022602961524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327615271391777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17053998629059516,0.08954713246441617,0.0,0.0,0.2946145880728189,0.07997744532950593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647745717026883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250048205705689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804119690156853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029866996918152,0.0,0.04843236219529737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754681790491944,0.08147566153465477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16331245191712707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420344614600168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974654906101273,0.052641570301877084,0.0,0.0,0.10142371645980516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679628102174264,0.0,0.0,0.08476774026833095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143397065612289,0.0,0.18127036737403204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063968339345722,0.0,0.09652992341777344,0.0,0.0,0.4487343869283019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204845270710242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007615355873124,0.10514444321202722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629155038984996,0.0,0.0,0.09581208435387152,0.0,0.1840892067833998,0.09848412899192588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589865945228887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020953052782006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397857942239848,0.08372132863331562,0.17637405970167586,0.3286194765964085,0.22243023652026295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152778381862377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272849070582859,0.0,0.07903361622617673,0.2259886432933353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775894659608716,0.08643211375548526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061683148665266176
mentalhealth,short_neck_giraffe,2019/03/17,"I don't know why I do this So generally speaking I'm a happy person. I'm outgoing, make friends easily, have a bunch very good friends, have a good family life and I'm doing okay in my studies. 
But... Well there are days or even only hours where I get so many emotions at once. I feel restless, I almost panic but in the same time I kinda wanna laugh or happy cry. On those days I often try to be alone and not making any plans with anyone. I go for walks often or ride my bike which helps a lot with the restlessness. And often when I come back home and have cooled down I get, not really depressed, but numb and I start getting in my head which ends often in self harm. Normally the next day already I feel completely normal and just go on my life like nothing even happened. No one knows about this and I myself feel super confused because I feel like having those days which don't appear that often isn't enough to seek professional help but I also don't want to make my friends worry about me... Does someone out here know this feeling?",3.173948775682522,4.833713746411488,4.166428370391221,87.08852800450327,74.2153110047847,6.640135097101044,22.82043343653251,7.285733465282438,0.8131602026456517,819,22,164,9,17,265,127,209,0.122,0.638,0.24,0.9781,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,19,21,0,4,7,2,12,4,1,3,0,48,36,18,0,4,10,0,5,2,3,0,3,1,1,2,9,11,0,0,8,1,0,6,7,7,1,1,0,7,22,14,18,35,4,27,0,1,0,0,8,10,0,13,13,107,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152415524044293,0.11534902949222252,0.12290307722850866,0.08906509443779426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573758378537203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778747193108169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563910329253062,0.0,0.0678920588041587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593813574744567,0.11677266371451217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233821216062846,0.2873059581900641,0.0,0.09592555956966484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746342322640816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527984077891907,0.09864358308145063,0.11507827026553427,0.0,0.14712187435309868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499272524492244,0.0,0.2815681393019922,0.0795650243947219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581399354067169,0.0,0.17456367452886604,0.0,0.12659189331774642,0.1868290841550134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848693816643836,0.2371176491730824,0.0,0.0,0.11430101721816233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930219422467594,0.0,0.1117163836526772,0.0,0.10968015111983187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362336662497628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733234610600672,0.10882262335595592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468549768916253,0.0,0.0,0.2230273940160549,0.11291492714220508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184466439285412,0.0,0.2182441457137966,0.106865573116684,0.0,0.0,0.11860880537476885,0.07546935135692924,0.08470432455875597,0.0,0.13067243389617844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724676778358247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713485130879623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161865197586428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436613678070954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078830512366232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494259881494185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756150807251389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189454015634638,0.06569078908323871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013786715797343,0.0,0.10049697492736837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310487381244475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emily_is_tired,2019/03/17,"Thinking of throwing away my razors [repost] Repost from r/needadvice 
TW: self harm


I’ve had depression (clinically) for a while now and been self harming for even longer. I’m starting to become more comfortable with myself and while I’m not ready to address some problems there are some I can.

I’ve been planning it out for a while. I think I should ask a friend to help me since I know for a fact I can’t do it on my own, there’s someone who really cares about me. 

I really want to work on self improvement this year and I think throwing away my razors is the first step. I am hesitant as its super difficult for me as cutting has basically become part of my life.

Advice?
",2.7907777777777767,4.783738392592593,4.093796296296297,85.74958333333336,76.18518518518519,7.166666666666668,24.583333333333336,8.07648339933343,1.4577777777777778,533,18,106,9,12,175,87,135,0.15,0.7020000000000001,0.14800000000000002,0.1702,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,5,10,1,0,5,0,11,2,0,0,1,16,21,8,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,6,0,1,3,0,16,4,21,17,5,15,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,2,7,75,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414062627919898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703146298514814,0.0,0.31563108484806746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710245044810411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125899505531736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144674330018861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094414616208616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287718630804527,0.0,0.0,0.12977501294969096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258831857068273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231320502221714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864383103572865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18189767506926785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072684389684228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215214763930492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5256953510215587,0.0,0.0,0.1389484551469204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232241830502412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188916865618655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228896784893873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907443794608113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228586381506648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816867955304088
mentalhealth,ButtonsOnIceCream,2019/03/17,"False Memories/Hallucinations? Something weird is happening lately. Some basics: I've got anxiety, depression, executive dysfunction, and autism. A fairly shit bag of stuff, but fairly mundane.

​

Over the last couple of weeks, I've started noticing this weird trend - I'm starting to remember conversations that I never had, and they feel completely real, the point where I've asked my partner if we discussed ""X"" the previous night.

They're incredibly detailed, which makes me think they're not just dreams I'm recalling. A couple of examples:

* A long conversation about my partner wanting me to buy Tom Yum soup, but then add tomato paste to it (with explanations as to why it had to be paste, rather than sauce, etc).
* And incredibly long and nerdy conversation about the plot holes in Prometheus.

I don't think I'm losing time, so I don't think I'm experiencing hallucinations in real time, then recalling them later, but it's scary, because I genuinely think I've had these conversations until I start to go ""okay, well, when did we discuss X"", or similar.

Does this sound like something I should be worried about? Cause it's kind of worrying me.",5.84668760708167,8.245399728155341,6.205785265562537,72.15306396344948,68.70873786407768,9.701427755568249,32.020559680182764,10.056822442137396,3.652090005711024,928,41,153,25,17,298,130,206,0.132,0.825,0.043,-0.9349,0,0,3,0,0,0,45.0,2,0,2,1,9,9,1,0,7,1,10,1,1,2,1,30,28,15,0,4,8,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,0,2,10,8,0,0,6,1,1,1,4,5,1,0,5,4,15,4,20,20,2,25,0,2,0,0,13,5,1,3,20,83,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359275539907491,0.15243832007292035,0.0,0.0,0.0959706939076874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172809996398915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647457981500674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288741068385056,0.0,0.0,0.1315343878023536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776212479960006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080519134464687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097841849231883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399125168257588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343247066502028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129745378164765,0.0,0.10033569364520724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093708669626573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063930315304845,0.0,0.10226039800218133,0.1415156996896287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128967468433656,0.0,0.0,0.22204273977919065,0.0,0.1403490748787346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374040864785695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675657566223833,0.0,0.0,0.11772851926325807,0.0,0.0,0.14282831639434238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395169004929359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185930076022952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28558444749080103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211304158068525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287750204353499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931586750935792,0.0,0.0,0.2663874280436467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361291087944605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215391662855921,0.0,0.0,0.14630453233988586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399503832028716,0.0,0.10063029702871154,0.0,0.11279671657280622,0.0,0.11320122066734252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548058742712997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243832007292035,0.0
mentalhealth,Icazo,2019/03/17,"I have a problem psychologists can't solve... I have no idea what's up with me, but I have a tendency of getting panic attacks from getting continued support by people, and it's been bad. I cannot keep a job without breaking down, I can't have friends without pushing them away and I was unable to find a therapist because of that exact moment. The longest I stuck with one was for 2 sessions.  
I'm running out of ideas and options. Any help would be appreciated...",4.065274725274726,5.636496626373629,5.42945054945055,79.29054945054949,71.74725274725273,7.397802197802199,34.97802197802198,7.957251820313856,2.8047538461538464,367,20,67,5,7,123,67,91,0.222,0.6859999999999999,0.092,-0.9215,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,1,6,1,1,5,0,12,0,0,0,1,17,18,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,3,0,0,2,6,4,0,1,4,0,9,2,15,12,0,9,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,50,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985492690401474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23396639178921866,0.1932230612763125,0.0,0.17171637325780728,0.12536759752365592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18796827029117735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889135438851196,0.0,0.2148963013353663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378486506717288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4643271413128133,0.0,0.0,0.20408446563010466,0.18279884785063194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935961632242214,0.0,0.0,0.24129610132148704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257780549475305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967875427857626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23337898645347166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238785531100508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3964951782390091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609399656194422,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,octobees,2019/03/17,"I feel alone I feel a little stuck. I have people to talk to in real life but they're busy. I just need someone to talk to so I can express how I feel without feeling like a burden or worrying about worrying them with some of the things I say. I feel like I'm stuck in my own head and have no way of actually putting into words what's going on with me or atleast I don't feel like anyone will understand it. I'm kinda tired of generic comments like ""you'll be ok"" ""things will get better"" I know it's not their fault because they just don't know how to respond and I don't really know how they should either. I just feel lost and alone and I hate it ",0.7278571428571432,2.6599252142857166,2.5542857142857147,94.5607142857143,82.57142857142857,5.428571428571429,20.0,6.5431188927421005,0.05228571428571449,510,14,117,5,14,169,82,140,0.267,0.648,0.084,-0.9732,0,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,4,2,8,10,1,0,3,1,11,3,1,3,0,36,31,11,0,2,9,0,7,4,0,4,2,1,0,0,6,7,0,0,11,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,3,8,20,6,16,23,3,8,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,4,4,74,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.1335424846951583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834634936235725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568628404579532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342038187335357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102964573181085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.484356064092495,0.2932895909630521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149667009126852,0.0,0.07777304347994211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510762885270075,0.1404440323772859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22562184200235266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665875968685284,0.2674252322499284,0.13715618601615473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493841661301371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146997695791796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948721616747321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756857203431874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557613243799632,0.08766739899673212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882586286054828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594963099981448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219984133698663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18182952366160385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572849691532303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246207643229386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862241540143656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13191518316126452,0.0,0.0,0.27794861229318496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mvggiegrhee,2019/03/17,"My shrink is drug testing me Hopefully this is the right sub for this. I’m curious if this is a common thing, but I’ve never heard of it before and I’ve been to a lot of doctors. 

I’m starting vyvanse next week (hopefully, come through insurance) and she says she drug tests all her patients who are taking controlled substances. 

I feel... weird about it. I don’t smoke weed, which she says is her main concern and while I occasionally partake of other things, it’s extremely rare. So it’s not that like I have a lot to worry about or am having to make lifestyle changes. 

What do you think of this and has anyone else experienced this? Maybe is has to do with the fact that I’m on Medicaid? ",3.375553359683796,4.976725079710146,4.266495388669302,86.8187549407115,73.56521739130434,7.337022397891962,27.03820816864296,8.00094639256281,1.5701362318840577,543,20,112,8,11,175,91,138,0.068,0.905,0.027000000000000003,-0.7525,0,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,5,0,15,3,0,2,3,21,27,9,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,17,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,5,12,3,14,25,4,9,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,6,7,78,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519088504967926,0.1834505015319124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523522312172245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894035366304546,0.1542295141546752,0.0,0.0,0.20081171864304706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832578871313641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152655991964676,0.0,0.14956728075373454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905294166655482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35565978753673666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747126571965493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30443156295085644,0.0,0.0,0.11951245579349044,0.0,0.1798725523253386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808884095836935,0.0,0.1904140434252403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290156845324254,0.0,0.28476403329209915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672741166050622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461789951002934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378961543167801,0.11472339345207518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436173302629027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18182664902453716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GubBlub_,2019/03/17,"Advice appreciated. This is my  first Reddit post so it might be a mess, sorry. I'm (19F) not even sure where to start. I hate talking about my issues, because there's people that I know have it way worse than I do, and I try to tell myself that it's ok to go through my issues but it still doesn't make it feel better to talk about. I might be a little vague on the slight chance someone recognises this.

This time last year, I was doing ok. My love life wasn't as bad, even though I was in a pretty bad relationship. I thought I had everything planned out, future and career wise. My ex cheated, and it took me a few months to find my footing again but when I finally did, it was great. For the first time ever, I felt ok alone. 

Some time in August or September, my dreams were literally crushed. It was something I had more or less dreamed about my whole life, and I was so close to achieving it, and then it just got fucked up. Being at my job made me feel like such a failure because it wasn't my dream.

Fast forward to now, I'm in medical school. I didn't have a plan B, but I wasn't going to just wait for my dream to maybe work out. And when school started in January, I was great. It felt really good to start learning about stuff I was genuinely interested in. But, I feel like something has changed. School-wise I still love it, but I fear my sadness (don't like to say depression b/c I was never really diagnosed) is taking over my life again. On the day's I don't have school, I just sleep or lay in bed all day. And at night, I don't even sleep most of the time because if I sleep, then I have to wake up and feel this feeling again the next day. 

Sorry if this was really rambly? I've never talked to anyone about this stuff so I wasn't really sure how to word it. 
Anyways, I guess the TL;DR on this is I guess I just need motivation of words on encouragement, or advice. I'm just tired of being sad and tired all the time. Thanks in advance.


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mentalhealth,mariko007,2019/03/17,"What’s wrong with my boyfriend? Okay so we’ve been together a year. Long story short, I love him so much & he’s my best friend. He’s usually so nice & sweet to everyone, however if something upsets or irritates him he can dramatically switch to being extremely mean & sarcastic. This includes him angrily shouting mostly bc he is upset with himself, but he also swears at the people he was with at the time e.g. me or other family members. He can say extremely hurtful things, which when he feels better he then says he doesn’t mean. The things which upset or trigger him can be so small, such as losing a game in mario kart. Could this be bipolar? Or just a personality trait? I’m so confused, please help me understand this. ",3.5684010989010986,5.9371852357142885,4.6242857142857146,81.08994505494506,75.21428571428571,8.021978021978024,26.48351648351648,8.841846274778883,2.2613296703296712,583,22,107,13,13,190,96,140,0.168,0.675,0.157,-0.401,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,9,14,0,4,6,1,11,2,0,1,0,18,17,15,0,2,7,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,9,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,5,10,7,9,11,3,11,0,2,0,1,22,5,0,7,6,64,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025314262791662,0.0,0.5294333726816149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092997244341848,0.14405198423106094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004449490745895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563650854907446,0.0,0.0,0.15354648757232295,0.0,0.0823557988446181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583881499531024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917340918888296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436381910550233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441415336691825,0.0,0.1822183505949305,0.0,0.0,0.1470033759594462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35484286967518125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973376292210987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291880642052587,0.1422184211915439,0.0,0.17879067264738685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590535795743298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539111928263613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21641725477147508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497522727018712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695613059400628,0.0,0.0,0.17938664422893325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808106580174535,0.0,0.10488782197108247
mentalhealth,jrdlm,2019/03/17,Is isolating yourself really bad? Hi. I get tired of people very fast. I feel the need to be alone very frequently. In my teens I would go days without answering anyone's messages or using social media. This would go on for a couple of weeks and then I would go back like nothing happened. Is this healthy behaviour? I am not depressed or anything. Don't have any anti social behaviour. Mostly am an ambivert. Does anyone else feel the same? I hope I am not being paranoid here. ,1.6346153846153832,4.396438175824176,3.08945054945055,85.3805494505495,90.31868131868131,5.437362637362638,23.48351648351648,7.010146845296331,1.373421978021978,378,15,65,6,13,123,68,91,0.09,0.7490000000000001,0.161,0.6981,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,0,12,1,0,1,0,17,22,4,0,5,5,0,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,2,8,2,7,17,2,11,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,4,7,43,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776623895761552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166522178406427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23988773518488854,0.17576169907880668,0.14116175768647446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190269392891635,0.14322767330050934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898043406056672,0.0,0.11062828897696828,0.0,0.14774605568506818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011469747860628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329859647344864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734702708019805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962190575426171,0.0,0.2924682379228469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169113128835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037666299481327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380515809484393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271937937836943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459603662825406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892335575156104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098921021157586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3497242630892701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715853429283345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815438515997725,0.0,0.28307483235962994,0.0,0.0,0.13759802111949426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535721310857013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655685735801874,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kussia99,2019/03/17,"I dont know whats wrong with me. So first of english is not my native language so I'm gonna apologise for my mistakes.

So what I wanted to say is that I don't really know what's wrong with me and I thought I might just ask here.

My problem is that I don't think I feel right what I mean by that is e.g. someone very close died and it doesn't really touch me in the slightest way or a better example is that I don't really feel anything towards people and when a friendship ends or you have a fight I don't really feel any thing.

The second thing that feels wrong is that I don't really have a feeling for time. What I mean about that is that I can't really lock in the future and anticipate anything and I don't really care what happened in the past. A life long friendship could have ended yesterday and I wouldn't even feel anything today.

This might sound like nothing but it feels wrong so I wanted to ask you guys what you think about my concerns.
",3.0320895522388054,4.16495648756219,4.253910447761196,88.43101492537315,73.67661691542288,7.549054726368159,23.84776119402985,8.021203637495839,1.0951814925373138,758,21,165,11,15,249,97,201,0.061,0.838,0.101,0.7306,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,3,0,2,10,10,1,0,9,0,23,1,0,0,0,36,45,14,1,6,5,0,8,1,0,4,1,2,0,1,20,9,0,0,14,0,0,0,11,7,0,2,1,10,26,3,14,39,0,17,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,4,11,112,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867637856559766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493174623504802,0.0,0.188823252401688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931707809036739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296560903991607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806319633073641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481124149797126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835903749935985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889358799632352,0.0,0.0,0.06670266618873276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35744356796643745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590168651500951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999556333944468,0.08930475348213153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100246587887597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133192809800619,0.04933840838700297,0.0,0.0,0.08937260175566328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22001452093677146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21426797364423228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690222724544363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964059828427326,0.07001346010448432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966333906464672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4528755836950061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862445508852885,0.0,0.08031096871014343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855681447627151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418598117691766,0.12942009221228032,0.0,0.08017444714149652,0.05888783716533205,0.0,0.09572631495118077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332698130129237,0.11913254355031762,0.08016082919281364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416650154604594,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fairyorbz,2019/03/17,"Stuck Between Recovery and Relapse... I was admitted into an eating disorder clinic late last year because I struggling with anorexia. I've since discharged (around 6 months ago) and have been recovering with help of my team (family, therapist, and dietitian). I had been doing pretty well up until now. 
I check-in with my dietitian every week. This week was spring break and we cancelled our appointment with her. 

After we cancelled I started to notice my body feeling odd. Then I realized I had gained a significant amount of weight. I'm now over my IBW. I never once binged or restricted food so my body SHOULD be maintaining. 
My clothes are beginning to not fit. I'm very triggered. It feels like recovery is backfiring on me. I just want to be back in my normal range. 

Plus, the whole reason I started my ED was because I was over my IBW and my dad would tell me I was fat. He would constantly pick at my body and tell me to lose weight. So I started a diet and it all went down hill from there. I became underweight and had to go through weight restoration.

I feel like I'm going to be back to the weight I was when I started my ED. I don't want that. 

I feel like I'm never going to stop gaining if I continue eating. I'm so scared. I don't know what",2.4627150537634432,4.713060379032257,3.8085483870967742,86.16198924731182,78.2741935483871,7.197849462365593,25.252688172043012,8.212053250817874,1.7122494623655915,986,37,194,19,24,323,141,248,0.101,0.7759999999999999,0.122,0.2816,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,3,0,0,4,12,7,0,2,5,0,23,13,4,3,3,42,46,17,0,7,4,1,8,3,0,3,2,1,0,0,5,17,9,2,8,1,0,4,5,3,1,0,13,9,40,4,29,27,3,41,0,1,0,0,11,10,0,2,29,129,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774492786854271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811833678985401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222792061662335,0.0,0.12068163421603705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298526844037105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696847058926273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344628782709147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20257434421440546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083399794915547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331499063758304,0.0,0.20020075273988752,0.2121463984048248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196940067631052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687677119369378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634808661145794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439999992850233,0.08068662800330892,0.11166027944895622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450783669429899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073977626321628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900951094227805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268788269661354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698505475728247,0.0,0.11269597477024673,0.0,0.10541663279301078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070413158815686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017738752737842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991020411707202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188206604070125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802505985534101,0.0,0.0,0.08275655036707318,0.0,0.10348143687216692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303588192938416,0.0,0.0,0.11493012823714716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816736410482798,0.11676876381631615,0.0,0.1588008554796537,0.4821520874032935,0.08900011038398803,0.09176081640586713,0.0,0.1105140963927996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406333263339494,0.0,0.0,0.06374360156312864
mentalhealth,huffylemon,2019/03/17,"Depression medication help Hi reddit, so obviously I will be talking to my doctor about this, but I want the opinions of people who have actually used these medications. I used to be on Zoloft for depression but now I'm on Cymbalta. I stopped taking Zoloft because it made me more depressed and now I'm experiencing depression symptoms with Cymbalta as well. I will admit, I am horrible at remembering to take my meds, so I'm wondering does this kind of side effect go away with regular use? I just want to know if I should keep taking it and it will go away because I know my doctor will just  want to switch my medicine again but I want to make sure this isn't just a hump I need to get over for the medicine to start working. ",6.610996503496505,6.392310265734268,7.3071241258741235,74.51145541958044,65.22377622377623,11.066083916083915,34.658216783216794,10.686352973137794,3.578035664335665,580,24,114,14,8,193,83,143,0.16,0.7390000000000001,0.101,-0.9431,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,10,7,0,0,3,0,10,8,0,6,2,33,35,9,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,6,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,1,1,16,3,22,27,1,14,0,4,0,1,5,7,0,3,5,75,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.12542286332612618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415088684418777,0.0,0.0,0.15669654759230667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4427971186964773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631036717551831,0.1124739933145944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714954496765795,0.0,0.14608860730888149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086148287425074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423983919226208,0.0,0.13384008015125065,0.14126908759883655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161443542045272,0.0857921217797473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427634431035009,0.25895290337975313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530042129101957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910376495050706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559493518894426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097138421117187,0.0,0.0,0.10745351450872187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113426044405627,0.13358775493629085,0.2899067336158096,0.1033043529098123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33301566613860584,0.0,0.0,0.3032319254789595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556033462009482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938099492445802,0.093568479196624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tesbelle,2019/03/17,"After I tried to tell my bf that I self-harmed, he made a self-harm joke I'll try to keep this quite short and sweet. I've been with m y bf for 3+ years now, and we've lived together for over 1 of those years. He's an immigrant from a Western European nation and I am an American. We live in the United States (and we met there while he got a job in the U.S.). I am currently pursuing grad school full-time while working nearly full-time (because life is expensive in the U.S.). I am at a very elite instutition and my bf is rather proud of that, as well as the fact that I'm studying something scientific. We also happen to live in one of the most expensive areas within the U.S., which puts extra pressure on me to work more to make ends' meet. Although my bf does help me out financially, I am still stressed because I never expected him to help me with money and I don't want to be one of those girls who expects a guy to pay for everything. 

​

I used to be anorexic and bulimic, and my bf knows this. I recovered around 10 years ago and have remained strong in staying clean of those terrible diseases. However, I got so close to relapsing out of stress a few weeks ago. My bf had to go to Europe for a work trip for 2 weeks so I felt it was a lot easier to ""bask"" in my negative emotions. I subconsciously forgot to eat out of stress for chunks of the day and ended up losing about 6 pounds in 2 weeks. I told him and he just said he'd bring me European chocolate (he did). There were a few nights where I felt I was so close to calling it quits with life but then didn't because I had to finish some stuff for school + I wouldn't call it quits without writing a letter. Instead of killing myself, I ended up self-harming to the point there was a lot of blood and I self-harmed on my scalp to hide the marks from my bf (I have long thick hair so I can hide these marks). I have never told anyone about this. On top of the stress from work and school, I had some family issues back home that escalated into angry texts and I got a small dent on my car. The stress. I workout regularly, but that was not enough to calm the stress. 

​

When my bf got back, he was super happy to see me but said he was upset I didn't respond to the pics of him and his family in the group What's App at that time. TO be honest, I felt so isolated in my stress and I felt a litle jealous to see everyone having so much fun and to be reminded that he came from a ""perfect"" family where everyone gets along 99% of the time (bc that is not the case in my family). I also feel a bit distant from his family because I am the ""outsider"" (the American) in a group of Europeans and half of the messages aren't even in English. I didn't want to exacerbate my state, and I was seirously considering killing myself yet managed to self-harm instead. When I told my bf how stressed I was, he seemed to understand and just said ""well keep working out"" and when I tried to hint that ""you don't want to know how bad it was"" or ""you really don't understand how seriously stressed and over the edge I was. I do not even want to tell you what I am hiding from you"" he just kinda hugged me and said ""I love you. Don't work so much then."" 

​

A few days later, we did an at-home blood type test (bc I am ""geeky"" like that) and it came with finger pricker. He made some joke about self harm (bc that's a privileged white boy who never had a life struggle's view) and I just kinda sat there with a knot in my throat. 

​

I feel like I am hiding stuff from my bf, but I feel like if I won't even be understood if I tell him how dark of a place I am in. He does not understand that the United States is a workaholic culture and that Americans have to pay for a lot more out of pocket than Europeans do. Americans don't have the 4 months of vacation that people in his country have. It's a different way of life. My boyfriend did finish his grad school, but not only was it free, he got paid to do it. It's just hard for him to relate. He says he does, but I disagree. Now I'm stuck with his bf who makes jokes and is insensitive. If I call him out, he'll say ""Americans are too sensitive, get over it"". Please help.",4.230784812272226,4.302858631578951,5.2494533435036885,86.25417662513775,70.23569794050343,8.853936774302909,27.054750402576488,8.735056554316923,1.6460027798966017,3260,95,734,52,54,1076,332,874,0.116,0.785,0.099,-0.8737,4,0,1,0,0,2,127.0,4,5,0,16,46,41,3,12,49,0,63,13,6,9,5,120,118,60,2,11,22,0,11,3,11,3,4,6,2,4,39,50,1,3,14,4,7,7,21,20,2,3,49,22,96,22,119,60,17,99,0,1,4,2,83,48,0,14,42,477,135,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734764429056808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977901118877393,0.0,0.1890848158732145,0.2120524561559605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030505895403880167,0.0,0.0,0.03883840317077523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709488138498239,0.036427776662103374,0.10638153500714152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047630762804635005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364800120424752,0.0997982187262387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627323980762175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0455822482953813,0.0,0.0,0.11453815901854285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04464260413480911,0.0,0.049075922877652264,0.1159250725156211,0.045079657519769965,0.0,0.08644816733256003,0.0,0.0,0.08337734854084022,0.039210268983628095,0.0,0.2056442143763237,0.0,0.06617928089599145,0.06233607860093871,0.1675598945111983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04558793271742288,0.0,0.024794946875615384,0.0,0.1744675343722662,0.0,0.0,0.04319883889709801,0.03858032826240265,0.04644309647664608,0.03908235355175396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772931371494128,0.0,0.04376270431237295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04553657085697228,0.043294318375898685,0.07755760824968247,0.09653641632787673,0.0,0.047953903958763484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326372759818728,0.06394369562520252,0.0,0.11557366473836213,0.0386096392292082,0.0,0.04880886583015322,0.0,0.1112735653238644,0.03937621008179512,0.08256423334045322,0.05824440772106217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03482366272550088,0.0,0.06414358543718728,0.0,0.10094641643552753,0.0,0.0,0.04094216870376838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05912727927799742,0.03318125943969611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030246343764423388,0.0,0.0455822482953813,0.04789073067798876,0.04124280976882885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04385845381279068,0.0,0.1392120817772001,0.0,0.0,0.02794938199130597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600187285410545,0.06938989057349175,0.0,0.17661652257483335,0.06953215295697616,0.039717531429898284,0.2730827552611695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03358716779828648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04650192268083704,0.03484158662524401,0.0,0.4497842434836718,0.045609732461440435,0.09988784471360576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439907271646114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087998118613024,0.0,0.0,0.12506602281126036,0.0,0.08886217879067097,0.0,0.0,0.13625567904538485,0.0,0.037680810766194985,0.0,0.035997885514147634,0.1029323178821798,0.034630083880853285,0.10498788118909896,0.0,0.0784540946926911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042056087973645816,0.0,0.190571367362583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120524561559605,0.08428551152651016
mentalhealth,JoyleonSpire,2019/03/17,"What happens if I go to the hospital? I am not in a good mental place, I haven't been for a while. Things just keep piling up and up and up and up on me. I am just not happy with my life (or lake of one), and every time I make plans and moves to get a life I feel worth living for... life throws me so.e more shit that makes it impossible to follow through with those plans. 

I am struggling with depression, excessive worry, anxiety from worrying non stop, PTSD from an abusive relationship, and family struggles and borderline abuse. I'm in talk therapy, and she even agrees with me that life keeps putting itself in front of the paths I need to take to gain a life. 

I am turning 28 this year. The only job I've had is I started being my grandmas caretaker last year. I have been trying and trying to get back in school to finish my H.S. diploma, I hand get an actual good paying job, I dont have a driver's license or a car, and to top it all off my mom lost her job last year, and we got behind on rent, and in January her unemployment ran out, so we keep falling more and more behind. 

I am in so much over my head with things that I cant control and that effect my life that I just dont see the point of living it anymore. 

What happens if I go to the hospital? I know I'll be put on a 72 hour psych hold, but what does that entail, and what happens after? How does that help me want to live? ",5.0994178082191794,4.305232811643837,6.075445205479454,84.00988013698631,68.486301369863,9.354794520547946,28.18150684931507,8.660442795831766,1.7484547945205473,1079,29,242,15,16,360,157,292,0.113,0.8390000000000001,0.048,-0.92,6,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,2,0,0,7,8,8,1,2,14,0,17,9,3,5,1,48,43,24,0,4,10,1,2,0,0,0,6,0,1,0,19,23,0,6,3,0,3,11,6,5,0,1,6,3,33,3,42,35,5,43,0,2,1,0,9,19,1,4,13,162,52,7,0.0,0.21225682494399264,0.08740954825335366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852248939681306,0.0,0.08883155566292562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887549441283577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046284107575376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714840637249933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677047525722546,0.0,0.20995590740258316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591615946771396,0.0,0.0754684434428271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444070036900747,0.0,0.04529039669900045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039333584131128,0.0,0.10181189323215648,0.15025782670702234,0.07163907255415686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376252073628893,0.0953512746684132,0.0,0.0,0.09192692088215293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060038358931781874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821057607117475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266659767945354,0.2388476663230029,0.0,0.0,0.049226539730119305,0.14602659942332813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796049716272922,0.0,0.0,0.2372816863415669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777863956512586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958028081316058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026771205761236,0.0,0.0,0.10490588046539102,0.0,0.0952010753137382,0.06584587481493177,0.06641665285333262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069644225452656,0.0681236959355046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358388666875954,0.0,0.08467468322966366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470511086645808,0.1800896061328821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616702353870528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065185050420377,0.07137744808015375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194457821512984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339966563516028,0.0,0.0,0.07488637168982626,0.0,0.1872806275813464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734714854200134,0.07199474307146332,0.0,0.0,0.10243361933668914,0.0,0.11901558188515203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052230271334750084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216272910336433,0.09742883452290037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283200550363543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819298382357768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304468413671018
mentalhealth,GwenTrix,2019/03/17,"I had my first experience with a mental health hospital this week and it physically disgusts me how bad their service is I’m aware that there are plenty of facilities like this all across the country I’m from (US), and it just puts a knot in my stomach thinking that there are young kids in really horrible mental states being put in a place like this.

About a week ago my brother (16 y/o, about to be 17 in a week) attempted to kill himself. He’s been going through some rough patches in his life currently and was pushed over the edge. Our family (especially the two of us as siblings) have depressive tendencies and I’m guessing also some high anxiety issues as well, judging from my own experiences and my families actions/habits. When I was his age I also had a track record for mental breakdowns/crisis moments but I was advised by my therapist to avoid going to an inpatient hospital because we live in a fairly rural area and the closest one (2 1/2 hours away) was not well known for being very helpful.

My brother ended up getting admitted to this one anyway because there was police involvement during his suicide attempt (a classmate called it in), and they suggested it would be best to my parents, who were unaware of the negative reviews of the hospital.

Since he was admitted it’s been hell even just trying to interact with him. The only way I’ve been able to reach him is when he calls me (which I don’t always get the chance to answer because of work and this kills me). Every time I’ve tried to call them to talk, the phone line just rings through until I get hung up on. The last time I tried calling (I actually tried calling three times in a row), the staff picked up and I told them who I was trying to get in contact with only for the line to go blank until they hung up on me again. What..?

Visitation is only for half an hour each day at 6:30, so it makes it hard to get down there in time to visit him if I’m working and involves a long five hour round trip. The time it takes to get there and back I don’t mind as much as the fact that when I did go visit, the staff wasted like seven minutes getting us in there (all visitors have to go through a security screening to make sure they’re not bringing in anything to the patients). Instead of doing the security check before the visitation time started they just lumped it into the time we got to actually see our family members. So the thirty minute visiting turned into a 20 minute one.

This last part may break my disclosure agreement but I’m so pissed off about it I don’t even care. When I’ve talked to my brother about the care he’s received inside the facility it’s been close to nothing. Apparently he’s only talked to a therapist 1x1 ONCE in his whole time there. He says there is someone you can request to talk to but they are only there for about an hour each day and you’d maybe get a 20 minute session with them. 

The facility caters to kids of all ages, my brother happens to be one of the oldest ones in there currently. All the group therapy exercises he’s described to me seem like they’re catered towards 10-12 year olds (ie: writing a story about a picture or doing karaoke), and it honestly doesn’t even seem like therapy to me. I don’t think they talk through anything with the kids unless they’re evaluating them on whether or not they’re an immediate risk.

On top of this they seem to be pushing medication really hard. My brother was put on Prozac a month and a half ago, which I think may have had something to do with his suicide attempt. When he went to the hospital guess what they decided would be the best thing for him? Put him on a higher dose of Prozac. He’s told me he’s refusing to take it because the other kids have told him that they will make you stay longer for observation when they switch your medication.

He says it’s depressing being in there. Apparently there’s one kid who keeps coming onto him by touching his thighs and being generally inappropriate. The kid even requested to be his roommate, which my brother adamantly denied. While I was visiting the other day, that kid also had family visiting and I swear he stared at our table from across the cafeteria for almost the entire visit. It made me concerned for my brother. Especially because there was also another kid who had some scabs on his face which my brother told me was from a fight he got into there. He’s also told me stories like on his first day the staff had to take away all the bendy pencils they used to write with because one kid tried to stab another kid with it. He said that those were one of many incidents he’s witnessed there.

I don’t understand 1. Why the kids with violent tendencies aren’t undergoing individual therapy, because they’re obviously a danger to others (I’m guessing it’s because of the terrible resources there to begin with). And 2. Why they would even set up the group therapy with a group that consists of 8-17 year olds, as if they will all be beneficially helped by the same type of therapy. There’s a huge difference in development and understanding in that age range.

It doesn’t seem like the facility has any grasp of how to function, seeing as they can’t even pick up their phones. I even went online to read other reviews and there’s been plenty with very similar complaints. One man even stated he waited 17 minutes on the phone before getting hung up on.

Is there anything I personally can do to bring this situation to light? I highly doubt any of those kids actually feel better when they come out of there. It really sucks that I can’t even discuss this with anyone because of the disclosure, they’re just hiding what a terrible job they’re doing over there.",6.291301441174859,6.5803196546112135,6.7463587045865525,76.54161214313116,65.83544303797468,9.885670447695766,32.670776480903065,9.725611199111238,2.9995610608800485,4542,176,856,88,66,1481,419,1106,0.102,0.8240000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.9902,7,1,1,0,1,2,94.0,8,4,20,11,66,36,9,3,70,0,74,15,4,9,9,116,142,54,4,5,17,9,6,7,0,7,10,5,0,14,55,43,1,6,16,2,1,27,14,17,2,17,36,16,96,19,159,87,18,145,1,2,5,0,143,58,3,18,61,578,151,15,0.04108603717103918,0.0,0.12028213664046025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284058592499529,0.0,0.04114173136102256,0.0,0.0,0.16428244540851825,0.03418687426011915,0.0,0.0,0.055879828353108965,0.0861645846628172,0.03143070597841593,0.0,0.0,0.028728312487937214,0.0,0.10143092350356156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720336878366094,0.031592626494806736,0.03430512487289858,0.22541100221390165,0.0,0.06992238300585611,0.0,0.0862345224078977,0.03633726105638841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20976718822986767,0.0,0.08377990627342223,0.0,0.0,0.07078396603299031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059883800490812,0.0,0.07077468722291205,0.0,0.0,0.0429261641264887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03639003395162264,0.0,0.0,0.2442324605384357,0.0,0.03461675834285337,0.0,0.0,0.08038005629139458,0.15492903712475034,0.0,0.0207743348909666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989552445774821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931918279239788,0.0,0.11675070876199865,0.0,0.0657205144132091,0.0,0.13578270607406356,0.0,0.03633224698162847,0.0,0.07361003837022406,0.0,0.0,0.043672536243100274,0.0,0.0,0.05507820931850743,0.08681930810234882,0.0,0.0,0.16184588184612764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04288314831899018,0.040771552212719483,0.03651915762699584,0.09091122545382148,0.0,0.0,0.06698120794945918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029020283112377355,0.140507936981092,0.0,0.03627972355312281,0.03635984999417949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038876601790056114,0.0822757465499276,0.04165479298290523,0.04127644667704508,0.0,0.0,0.0827797199589718,0.12421518578799964,0.0,0.04148518523012418,0.0,0.032794482886264416,0.0,0.0302029647407404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039423160762162304,0.0,0.08622576919128097,0.043755288683961766,0.25056865891886104,0.1562389133815852,0.0,0.0,0.04562118207375283,0.044492174451141335,0.0,0.0,0.03587474289542087,0.0429261641264887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521126158602772,0.0,0.0,0.0410971556361984,0.0,0.07896230243962947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03908222995750012,0.06534653166238433,0.0,0.0,0.06548050439630708,0.14961274062749913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033986794519276727,0.04618242721772412,0.0,0.0,0.03481206596579142,0.03163003869642935,0.0,0.0,0.029080908578334307,0.04379224895313382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898829122628839,0.0,0.03872310380042704,0.0,0.09267476019661933,0.16511700183326994,0.0,0.0,0.2349273209436402,0.09540811172322958,0.027295737457958415,0.07897882091319787,0.0,0.0,0.19166078943673248,0.0,0.0,0.19629734610184948,0.0,0.16736833368494625,0.044689810289517067,0.04013508828140887,0.08554402734395193,0.14826433177929502,0.03548514449939372,0.0,0.06780056708801817,0.0,0.03261218390875654,0.0988702222411484,0.0,0.07388256330293358,0.07617433616189136,0.07414751604516684,0.04587109323448935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05982224878571505,0.0,0.0,0.08755902597093394,0.0,0.0,0.052916121759014334
mentalhealth,mentallyillavocado,2019/03/17,"I had another BPD episode last night I was feeling really overwhelmed sensory-wise and having a lot of self harm urges. I was getting really irritated at my best friend and my brothers and I couldn’t figure out how to express what I was feeling to the point where I wanted to hit someone (I didn’t though). I had really bad suicidal thoughts which was bad because my parents left the knife drawer unlocked and some meds out, and I ended up ruining the night that was the first time seeing my friend in 4 months. I’m a bit better today, but I’m so exhausted and still really depressed and emotionally drained. ",6.572271062271064,6.953523589743592,7.065323565323562,74.17769230769231,65.23931623931624,10.446398046398047,34.663003663003664,10.290406445055957,3.6352695970695965,488,21,87,11,7,160,77,117,0.211,0.688,0.101,-0.9484,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,5,11,0,1,6,0,10,1,0,1,0,19,19,11,1,2,1,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,9,3,13,4,9,8,4,17,0,3,1,0,6,8,0,2,9,58,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531853201772653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632762825639072,0.09610707005919003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654527171402404,0.13943600329287828,0.17212209083203833,0.0,0.1985651794085155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135790910401204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734442947849194,0.13963850731711488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15943360308687388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410411647873238,0.0,0.0,0.24361290843329544,0.0,0.08236998353582467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285126019502201,0.0,0.0,0.1712962643360323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403549576028184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512289120673633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584139505235162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959033727591237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506094595267904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14903810544281362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039999179134513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563329707836646,0.0,0.164472048588006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335834128253484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590616619851835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245265171214072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489853360747458,0.12516312349935746,0.09193185483058544,0.0,0.14944168631718213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299098274332457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,3foot5,2019/03/17,"please help? i think i have depression.

i feel no motivation whatsoever to do schoolwork, go out with family, or get off the couch.

i've been struggling with my sexuality too.

i used to have tons of friends, but i pushed them away when middle school started.

the only thing that lets me feel emotion is music. i fake everything else, or so it seems.

whar can i do about this?",2.2370833333333344,4.839447430555559,3.4894444444444446,86.07500000000003,81.6388888888889,6.933333333333335,22.88888888888889,8.07648339933343,1.3641055555555557,293,10,59,6,8,95,58,72,0.141,0.7609999999999999,0.098,-0.6261,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,5,4,0,1,2,0,8,0,0,2,0,12,16,5,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,2,10,1,9,14,1,8,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,3,2,41,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361952888413579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165274385644468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21000951870021345,0.282787227401272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259389656141852,0.0,0.2369942481145874,0.0,0.2542272497879607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19422831361998466,0.0,0.13134429614553664,0.0,0.14287442536735315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850577589825144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25706995565219826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19119836792527847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759578659460425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254426681168612,0.0,0.2288619333819672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779397378546123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26281420763984936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167016665065134,0.16108472736223056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21712586087008776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sofe_43,2019/03/17,"I'm getting worse I've been feeling low for a while and I keep self-harming and I'm progressing to strangling myself to the best point of passing out.
I don't know what's wrong with me but I just really can't function without other thinking everything and feeling ashamed and disappointed in myself after everything I do. 
I feel like I'm annoying the 2 people I talk to and I really don't want to lose them so I'm not talking to them or anyone about how I'm feeling anymore. 
I never used to be this bad but everything is getting to much now and I don't know what to do anymore. ",2.1314876033057857,4.056971074380169,4.205785123966944,84.5014049586777,77.92561983471073,7.044628099173554,28.355371900826448,8.00094639256281,2.00824958677686,464,21,92,8,11,159,71,121,0.187,0.688,0.125,-0.8916,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,3,5,9,1,1,3,0,9,0,0,2,1,26,26,12,0,1,6,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,7,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,1,4,14,2,16,24,2,9,0,3,0,0,4,4,0,1,5,64,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33448644601183697,0.11791535778848652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080538406371934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697479738352426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4546819067240906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410730278730765,0.12047476256713943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621241160253354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989288143985055,0.0,0.0,0.18535767161691305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238783190526948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18866238153038148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396806791811554,0.0,0.13006374291340833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169121050064934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941707678822553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216067178742948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592583535176162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27108909172869017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805618939623766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14564877458705885,0.0,0.0,0.09946684837786857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256066556780202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185616064437506,0.0,0.18437878440855868,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jesneko3,2019/03/17,"Mom won't take anti-psychotic medication Sorry if this is the wrong place to post, but I need some help and I'm not sure what to do. We live in Canada, my mom is diagnosed bipolar and is supposed to be taking lithium and anti-psychotic medication. She is taking the lithium but not the anti-psychotic meds. I'm not sure what to do. She's not getting better, because she's convinced she doesn't need them. Is there anything I can do or any services I can use to convince her to take the meds? ",2.447455555555557,4.408961190000003,4.319333333333333,83.88522222222225,77.1,6.844444444444445,27.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.7337777777777772,389,16,76,6,9,132,56,100,0.111,0.794,0.095,0.104,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,1,1,1,6,0,0,4,0,13,4,0,1,2,18,23,7,0,3,8,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,11,5,7,21,1,3,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,3,0,51,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846569500082613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125518261399993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722992172681784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106508166066473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618894791383963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833323401378802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690971016199458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084171500173806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.354337823307242,0.32135960764181865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3736097213312336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365349497492957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664389862751186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275722772772574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854756276377626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006543498853657,0.0,0.4796975972673188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775707527266734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438857384461315,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ImaGuyNamedSpencer,2019/03/17,"Is there something wrong with me? So ever since I can remember I have always taken things to the extreme and gotten obsessed with things. For example, I am a senior in high school and I want to make money this summer before college so I have four jobs lined up to work like 100 hours and make a lot of money. Or like I just started playing basketball again and I can't stop thinking about it. When I was a kid I used to eat like 20 pop tarts a day. And then it was popsicles. Then it was ice cream. Then candy bars. And I like get obsessed with these ideas of like going to the gym and building muscle and thats all I end up thinking about for days on end . I get these obsessions but they fade after a while until I am on to something new. And like I'll take things to the extreme for example, so when Im happy im super happy like the happiest person you'll meet, and when Im sad im really down in the dumps. But its not like my emotions swing its just that whatever mood im in its the best or worst version. And i get super super excited about stuff or really really anxious but never just casual easy going like no problem. Its like this constant battle to keep reassuring myself that theres nothing wrong with me and that everybody is like this but Im not sure so I am trying reddit to see if theres anyone that feels like I do.",2.71924515917296,4.1375475884476565,4.35799967180834,86.24367492615688,74.92057761732852,7.202428618313098,23.06022317033148,7.84624498591911,1.0742072202166062,1050,29,217,15,22,353,141,277,0.134,0.621,0.245,0.9902,1,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,5,18,34,2,3,11,0,14,2,0,3,4,46,32,32,0,3,13,0,1,12,0,1,0,0,0,2,21,16,2,2,5,4,2,2,5,10,0,1,5,4,22,23,31,26,5,35,0,1,2,0,6,9,0,5,36,146,43,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116558900887278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966215371520508,0.0,0.05980269690288679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277745741909784,0.0,0.08975565495345597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242465828715704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031610314675837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751580927829357,0.0,0.0962067332306,0.15150365491244405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773643654270303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04324518724743051,0.0611007407802936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405349785516224,0.0,0.0972143038644919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209086375292055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036431864807933,0.0,0.0,0.08422719069461926,0.0,0.0,0.0965499437872782,0.55430514997124,0.0,0.08487267674567685,0.07602061957634995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5014119923636849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271227645526104,0.0,0.0,0.114180312202467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596394855925224,0.08260282710469939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820657786635854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746791645609078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08183810293872938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16437299063542404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688579096837306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655822282667024,0.06815420778900183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074909019422672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316862323871892,0.0,0.0,0.060536683527823924,0.0,0.0,0.07150467653286616,0.0,0.0,0.0979083292361021,0.0,0.0,0.08060849521489731,0.0,0.06430590724641726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046167065585302,0.10960491769928034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05806744209047428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386815156453895,0.0,0.0,0.05044623445995158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062264913988306525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702141546458292,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,000vader000,2019/03/17,"Anyone identify with this? Independent (34m) only go to the hospital for severe emergencies, never been diagnosed, but always go through bouts of depression. I, fairly independent (34,m) only go to the hospital for severe emergencies, never been diagnosed, but always go through bouts of depression. I have a brother I live with that has told me I need to get medicated, but I'm skeptical about the whole process of unnatural medication and the mental fog I've heard people associate with it. I should add that I'm fairly substance dependent, self-medicating w/ alcohol and kratom. I have been sober for the last week, but that seems to be when the depression really kicked in.

I don't have medical insurance. I don't currently have a job, as a means to mental peace, b/c anxiety builds up and becomes severe when I'm working, after my temper goes from a few months of happiness of having work and essentially 'faking it til i make it' to extreme despair. 

I go through almost a yearly cycle of this pattern, and then upon quitting work, I end up sitting around with no ambition, doing nothing and getting more depressed. I convince myself that I will be productive, but find myself thinking that life is meaningless, and there is no reason to do anything at all. I ended up not even eating a couple days ago. 

I am super introverted most of the time, but can be outgoing, just rarely motivated to meet people, more motivated to cut ties with people, I know there is a huge problem with me being so self-involved, self-diagnosing, but I'm having a hard time trusting people half the time, the other half I just don't seem to care. Anyone have any idea how to break this cycle, ideas on what I may be dealing with on a larger scale? Or any ideas?",7.655131623931628,7.5996352123076925,8.334743589743592,67.4655341880342,63.03076923076925,11.529914529914533,35.5940170940171,11.095144083064902,4.17825811965812,1384,57,231,35,18,465,179,325,0.202,0.722,0.076,-0.9922,2,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,7,11,15,3,0,18,0,29,8,0,8,3,53,50,22,0,3,11,1,1,0,0,3,7,1,0,0,13,16,2,0,12,0,0,5,8,10,0,2,5,2,23,5,45,37,6,36,0,5,0,0,5,10,0,7,19,166,36,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517514038317517,0.09063150732293587,0.08492066315491961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113028000146915,0.0,0.0,0.11534157469184225,0.0,0.06487613201526765,0.0,0.0,0.11859624119312955,0.0,0.06978786910021995,0.07549505708675902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366123805767068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646506800314678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383589928273504,0.0,0.054692663767006336,0.08743095779790691,0.2921721169588778,0.2582280155452269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677740773325737,0.0,0.0,0.15022536549492588,0.0,0.0,0.056013368169989114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751087776251896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861496101773106,0.0,0.2409851818066362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027724966892008,0.07596925392377482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872059542525349,0.0,0.0,0.08415657623586975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046606997473366336,0.06912796824314629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059900777272134414,0.0,0.0,0.07488499101248741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660846645202443,0.0,0.0,0.09237827412404732,0.09420001990681427,0.25629847658845706,0.17092840775975066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769110444298565,0.0,0.0,0.06288235550772933,0.1308147752280823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137336093632545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899711991740048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351743905762955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114760619132882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020130594902714,0.0,0.0,0.054328706041164514,0.08719438885981906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440785706151705,0.26541253649383656,0.2874189221719464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434007130366344,0.0,0.0,0.14835266529870528,0.0,0.0,0.08103548516343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802602095437535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468254077426758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852186892813075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05461209339890891
mentalhealth,abduu_,2019/03/17,"I feel like an outcast So I’m 16 and I’m neurotic, I feel like I’m left out in my society I can’t relate to what makes people my age happy or sad I only have one friend and I’m just ruining it with him, I can’t find love and I can’t find somewhere to fit in people are just too fake and pretentious I can’t find someone like me 
WHAT SHOULD I DO?",-1.6799999999999995,0.14594871604938575,1.6998641975308644,97.30238888888893,92.70370370370372,5.215308641975309,16.741975308641976,6.742157984588678,-0.22981580246913635,270,7,69,4,10,97,47,81,0.124,0.63,0.246,0.8885,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,0,16,16,6,0,1,3,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,2,12,6,6,15,0,6,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,1,4,40,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22291935185515133,0.31496077134969397,0.0,0.0,0.6044268445647032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703092403359526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23465950727822055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395056718387667,0.0,0.0,0.3230834558265037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19895318695910127,0.0,0.14714354828180973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937395732273745,0.1676524302143643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056468092430615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867757312704013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vintageyouthk,2019/03/17,"Had a pretty public mental breakdown at work. My life has been very stressful lately. Just started a new job (I'm a hairstylist) but its 100% commission based, I have yet to build a clientele and the Salon is brand new. No clients = no money, the Salon is 7 weeks old and right now its very slow. The potential to make a lot of money down the line is there but right now I'm barley making anything. I'm stressed, I'm having anxiety attacks, not sleeping, not eating, my mental health is not good right now. Yesterday at work I just lost it.. I started crying uncontrollably in front of everyone and had to leave. I've been having these mental breakdowns too regularly. Its hard to concentrate and function sometimes and I get real low, depressed, anxious and scared.  I feel like everyone at work probably thinks I'm crazy now... I mean I guess I am. I dont have health insurance or access to good mental health care and I dont know what to do",3.3861270491803275,5.453037322404377,4.4105157103825166,83.81282274590166,74.68306010928961,7.1979508196721325,26.191598360655732,8.07648339933343,1.7360385245901642,742,27,139,12,16,241,106,183,0.265,0.6859999999999999,0.048,-0.9907,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,4,9,12,1,4,9,0,17,6,1,2,0,24,34,10,0,0,8,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,4,0,2,1,7,8,0,0,5,2,12,4,13,29,1,24,0,3,0,0,1,9,0,3,15,82,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963809293292932,0.11760614226726265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566745014463073,0.0,0.0,0.11843157098177058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613939066937833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435165825401665,0.0,0.0,0.08966329172223929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24401460327449925,0.0,0.0,0.1065228004023652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198948713427968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052637329043856734,0.07437081446483515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438923592976523,0.0,0.0,0.17463239985192916,0.0,0.0,0.1146805905074348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932553516384592,0.0,0.0,0.3319681240058513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330562305428616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721198660911625,0.0,0.1174321033272056,0.11022946835874052,0.0,0.0,0.07353064245615476,0.05085920096644445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364012681222085,0.08850418427846818,0.0,0.0,0.13897839381164082,0.0,0.0,0.11339809188906605,0.0,0.0,0.4196431568653069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20108559897708447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923801432879283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590962197567284,0.11224005351034712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184913844186027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667087826179922,0.0,0.0,0.10422471801189624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417763628490168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295998962786268,0.0,0.1473685065506206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384980203517266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670464952264311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179085529828214,0.0,0.0,0.08350470982682846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273634807085728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Balerinoooo,2019/03/17,"What the hell is going on inside me? Quick history.  I have had depression and anxiety since middle school.  In my 20s I partied hard, mostly drinking, and was generally pretty unhealthy. I understand now that I was trying to medicate myself.  Sometime in my early thirties I woke up and realized I had to fight the depression.  Now in my early 40s I don’t drink, don’t drink coffee, don’t eat sweets, I do hot yoga 3 times a week, I have a therapist.   I have really beat back the depression and pretty much eliminated my anxiety.  The problem is I still have these small bouts with deep depression.  They don’t last as long but they are still devastating.  They happen about twice a year now.  Usually, accurate or not,  I can find something to blame them on.  Sometimes it’s lack of exercise, other times I start eating a bunch of sugar snacks but there is always a plausible trigger.   This last week I had an episode.  This one was different because I have been as healthy and my diet has been clean as it has ever been.  It may or may not been triggered by some mild stress from work but that feels like a stretch.    I’m out of it now but when I’m experiencing it I’m absolutely crippled.  When it started I almost thought I was getting sick.   My question is what the hell is going on in my system? My therapist tells me to just deal with it rather than trying to figure out the cause.    It’s hard though because talking through it just doesn’t work.  I’m not sad about something,  there is just something inside of me that is off.   When it ends it just stops suddenly, like a switch getting flipped.  I start to search online for any kind of helpful info but there are almost too many possibilities.  B 12 deficiency, thyroid problem, and so on.  I understand that it’s probably impossible to figure this out but I just can’t sit back and wait it out every time.  Have any of you had an experience like mine?  Have you had any success with things that you have used to combat it? Thanks",3.3961695229272806,5.556678375328087,4.482656322371469,82.8830766558592,74.95800524934383,7.631959240389067,26.69144665740312,8.4952907291091,1.990250825999692,1555,59,296,30,34,507,190,381,0.147,0.753,0.1,-0.9457,1,0,6,0,1,0,41.0,0,3,4,4,27,18,3,1,15,0,42,12,0,4,1,58,62,23,0,4,17,0,4,3,0,2,4,0,1,0,27,14,8,2,10,5,0,2,9,11,0,2,15,7,40,7,41,45,5,53,2,5,0,0,13,18,2,9,34,215,67,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810989320520017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524241462245748,0.0,0.0,0.184480153785858,0.0,0.13835264336308953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906539004694607,0.0,0.11024678301966764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289332303523254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322615072258357,0.3115381839405714,0.0,0.0,0.09447685140155504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657517725963163,0.0,0.18505856269710028,0.0,0.0,0.08009138249610051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179629708029491,0.07618855307742634,0.0,0.0,0.08845484785821575,0.0,0.0,0.045722551511395364,0.06460098673471187,0.0,0.0,0.08264853725646061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448863331922276,0.0,0.10278336848576768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996419826969263,0.0,0.1620094596916244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06061123679622407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416568841172288,0.0,0.147419965396646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253402926728078,0.0,0.0,0.08002495016234562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167867119950804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109557609877507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647416720695347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127559946063076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194272914004464,0.0,0.1839933079545293,0.0974954793772455,0.1730526384728862,0.0,0.0,0.10129880953635796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057929779857424736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151683814624756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480205605959288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20884510833130648,0.1788690085490614,0.0,0.19201384989455172,0.0,0.14443005886224025,0.07560092727483546,0.10358369449000683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268170712903704,0.07903708569083412,0.0832529290793792,0.0,0.209985172847445,0.06007560619934527,0.0,0.08884395817170679,0.07178884815653601,0.1581859364643171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278784212106415,0.0,0.0,0.1882751586153943,0.0,0.07809979745577049,0.09959244153151396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506998990469822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166370264021002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823195100127771
mentalhealth,88toxikk,2019/03/17,"How to talk to a delusional person in a depressive episode? Hi!

I need advice on how to talk to a close relative suffering from bipolar with a serious delusion / obsessive thoughts during depressive episode. The person is certain something terrible is going to happen when it is not going to happen and everyone around them told them so. No 'rational explanation' works. He is right now treated in hospital, not believing it will help him because of their delusion and depression. I don't really get how those things work - is it possible that well-chosen meds will help them think rationally again? Shall we all wait patiently and tell them everything will be alright, like a broken record? If anyone is experienced in such a situation and is willing to talk by PM, I would be very glad.",7.610063492063492,8.840483942857148,7.839523809523811,66.56325396825399,63.14285714285714,12.222222222222225,38.4126984126984,11.855464076750405,5.280603174603175,632,32,99,21,9,206,96,140,0.163,0.738,0.099,-0.8691,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,5,2,9,12,0,1,7,1,16,1,0,3,2,21,26,10,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,2,6,8,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,2,1,10,5,16,16,1,12,0,4,0,0,18,7,0,1,4,72,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225775142166606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894742209697153,0.0,0.0,0.1387057763031799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949815916259962,0.0,0.0,0.1755468463514064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4026021225172941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488851099851643,0.140033841621045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140537562555326,0.0,0.17710318004867084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27556819770050583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887509217565065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761219069897455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730720843608888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155326755558133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27209817899947164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565469763760647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981720178483924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330626563663477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751392948564147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995174371103015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37570751922868745,0.13618661680235042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351461581772294,0.0998380829871144,0.0,0.1236973791369193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488851099851643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856127564147682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009376313263727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268660852246013,0.0,0.0,0.11068442400228604,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snallygastertv,2019/03/17,"I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m too tired to fix it (Mostly a long vent post. I should probably preface this by adding that I never use Reddit at all, so any feedback is welcome if this isn’t an appropriate kind of post for this subreddit or w/e)

I’m 16 years old (17 this summer) and I feel completely lost in everything that I’m doing. There’s so many things happening at once, with my parents pressuring me to get a job, and getting ready for senior year and then college, and it feels like it’s all adding up to the point where I can’t even manage to do one thing at a time and settle for doing nothing at all. I feel awful about how much I just lay around and do nothing and am insecure in just about everything. There’s times where I feel so disgusted with myself that I want to throw up.

I’m not diagnosed with any mental illness at all, and haven’t even told my parents about how I feel (I know my mom won’t listen at all anyways). Back in 8th grade I was incredibly suicidal and almost tried to overdose before an online friend talked me out of it. I haven’t been consistently suicidal since then but occasionally I get bouts of ideation where it really just feels easier to end things rather than work through it all like I should. 

I’m terrified to even tell my group of friends how I feel. Several of them have been diagnosed with mental illnesses but from what they’ve described my experience doesn’t match theirs or doesn’t seem “as bad.” The group has so much talking behind eachother’s backs that I don’t want to talk about my feelings or anything about myself at all in fear of them bad-mouthing me or even starting to push me away. I’m even more scared that they’d be right and I really am just being over dramatic, and I should stop complaining because really my life isn’t bad at all.

I don’t feel comfortable venting to anyone I know so this is the first time I’ve really talked about my feelings in years, and as a result I keep thinking of more and more things that I need to talk about and more things about myself that just straight-up disgust me. However, this post is long enough and even just typing this out felt kind of nice. Thanks if you read this completely. ",5.3714069046422015,5.6318727805429925,5.691277023629965,83.4163591419474,67.80090497737558,9.353578012401544,28.58756494050612,9.250403328903447,2.118279772079772,1747,54,363,31,27,558,201,442,0.128,0.795,0.078,-0.9761,4,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,4,3,40,20,2,4,9,1,32,6,0,5,9,79,69,36,2,9,16,3,11,2,2,4,6,1,0,0,28,23,0,2,16,1,0,2,13,10,0,2,6,12,44,10,62,56,16,50,0,1,0,0,22,25,0,9,22,250,72,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347450812351285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979509287644528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05130553721104495,0.0,0.060381409713823074,0.06531934607113105,0.0,0.0,0.06893826972279207,0.11284176019072092,0.1837952919895733,0.044728746121174015,0.0,0.06243675859308149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538646764048259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489482513914889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498851061300961,0.07581603541614257,0.0,0.29078114949172473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188951760050524,0.07177487314675449,0.0,0.0825673246065557,0.3710062720289377,0.05241914649461975,0.07045154952106074,0.0,0.0,0.06241277541899212,0.0,0.0,0.11337875482462205,0.0,0.11500629701779826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488530957951368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728134097705904,0.06521911098448874,0.0,0.1528176353061346,0.12097501670078566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05182696393052371,0.07169468091061243,0.0,0.0,0.1298692109150289,0.0,0.0,0.08009752882098106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439077851510348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478895738434345,0.0,0.0,0.08593596537483422,0.0,0.0,0.10787820078472003,0.0544066658093522,0.05659135779260824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408106683822386,0.0,0.07699476625457521,0.07814202775389698,0.049720829154867134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16294860726536514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936313401945109,0.0,0.21081902985806594,0.0,0.07911070827797324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339490088902473,0.0,0.18802372968187225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626618871397225,0.0,0.0,0.07346121998447758,0.0,0.0,0.06679788479338672,0.0,0.08289291497660885,0.0,0.06069659509673814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193523419877902,0.0,0.0,0.061344822769081625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605207789937821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29488040709979363,0.06413302308135599,0.0675538827826177,0.0,0.0,0.2437355961023164,0.04701576579953953,0.0,0.0,0.12835673564806632,0.08433381981650599,0.0,0.0701129994954392,0.0,0.04981683879175046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337247975555127,0.0,0.0,0.08655700472656136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341790633217024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175336900372698
mentalhealth,OrionSoul,2019/03/17,"What to do with someone who doesn't want to get help My cousin, who is almost 40 years old has serious self control problems, he has been close many times to beat my grandparents, who welcomed him in their own house after his own father kicked him out because he doesn't look for a job.
I don't know exactly what illnes he have, but he clearly has a problem but doesn't want to acknowledge it, therefore he doesn't want to seek proffesional help even thou we all have tried to convince him, what can we do in a situation like this? ",10.615566037735851,6.5466285754717015,9.328018867924527,75.38466981132076,60.41509433962264,12.864150943396226,40.65094339622642,10.125756701596842,3.7717433962264137,423,15,88,6,4,131,69,106,0.092,0.7609999999999999,0.147,0.8431,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,1,1,2,1,6,0,0,3,0,15,0,0,2,3,20,21,2,0,5,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,1,11,3,12,20,3,8,0,0,1,0,22,4,0,1,5,55,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21393578903784108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302367288804537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23962235857543535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111128753496432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162131159586662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864050631692568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465190080656443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21201086839017474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174143536886836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437673229907428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940898378482845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21660369433184365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241857276916624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088610831360002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228795611725204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24014725874825002,0.0,0.0,0.1810217157629084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245788061760114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505173272297806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780421586177958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375811358301552
mentalhealth,erixa_48,2019/03/17,Worried about a family member. I found out that my sister who really enjoys kpop has been having it rough lately. She doesn't like talking about her feeling to any of us and seems like she doesn't trust us. I came across some post that she was asking for internet friends on her kpop stan account because real friends don't exists. Saw some of her DMS and it seems like she vents out to other people and admits to not being well mentally. I don't know much about all that kpop stuff but I did hear bad things about it. She spends way too much time obsessing over them and creating images. How do I approach this situation? She is ver protective over her phone and she is only 10.  ,3.169079601990049,5.288390261194031,3.8232089552238833,87.54113184079603,75.49253731343283,6.854726368159205,21.61442786069652,7.793537801064563,0.9156487562189062,541,14,106,8,12,171,89,134,0.125,0.789,0.086,-0.6516,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,1,0,7,10,0,1,1,0,13,0,0,1,1,21,23,7,0,0,2,1,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,11,8,0,1,6,0,2,2,5,2,1,0,6,4,20,8,16,16,5,12,0,0,1,0,23,6,0,4,5,76,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353841530759545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560849108433707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394044910226135,0.10177716773271364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095757635090668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739487645810846,0.0,0.08441991080161959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306284496138275,0.2579855137421164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881758719804917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175676072585097,0.0,0.18833796980597897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447044305070024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16825624758411747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454693835196118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698048048845811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574892963920408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990137308257105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900368480901541,0.10695874763468574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039879323417332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18766985353730173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19112907000624554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419599366001114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092069775322952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735562433970253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016642563869328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252494826298347,0.0,0.0,0.1501169456582891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955582016746076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,madie2202,2019/03/17,"Feeling beyond lost On mobile blah blah. 
I don’t really know if this is the right place to post or really what my thought process even is so you’ll have to bare with me. 
I have suffered from mental illness all my life. Had multiple diagnoses, but it’s irrelevant. 

My (F21) boyfriend (M23) broke up with me yesterday.  We’ve been together 3 years. Through this 3 years we’ve been through things most couples shouldn’t have to go through. Life has thrown shit at us left right and center from the get go but we always managed to get through it. He got up, gave me a kiss, told me he loved me and left for work only to text me 20 minutes later telling me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. The only explanation I really have is that he wants to be on his own but he still loves me etc. He’s told me he doesn’t want me out his life completely and wants to remain friends (cliche isn’t lost on me). 
I feel so lost and down. My stomach feels like it’s fallen out my ass and I can’t go more than 30 seconds without crying. The pain has become so unbearable that my brain is shutting down and I just feel numb. 
I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone. The love I have for him consumes me and runs through my veins from my head to my toes. Like words cannot describe how much I love him. I don’t want him out of my life completely. However, is the pain of seeing him live his life without me too much to handle? Is it worth the suffering of myself just to see him happy. I’m so confused. Part of me wants to hold on in case he changes his mind (I’m not as much of a sad case as I sound I promise) but part of me just wants to cut him off completely so I can grieve the loss and try and rebuild my life without him. My brain feels like a car crash and I just want to wrap myself in a duvet and cry. Any advice appreciated. ",1.5974494485294135,3.276751591145832,2.9193933823529434,94.24803308823532,78.66145833333334,6.184313725490195,22.231617647058826,7.048011613610866,0.4365795955882361,1417,42,329,16,34,459,179,384,0.14,0.6809999999999999,0.179,0.9694,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,2,1,0,5,15,28,2,1,12,0,28,26,8,1,2,56,65,25,1,10,14,0,5,5,1,2,11,1,0,0,10,18,0,1,7,0,1,6,12,15,0,1,11,8,59,13,56,50,11,36,0,9,2,8,34,23,2,4,9,208,69,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209981005061629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061393295432636226,0.0,0.0,0.050174911937027514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317282505502304,0.051590729308368055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148743215986236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473226795970575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805254020268143,0.0,0.2320799460066508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163939144444522,0.16209413384741422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488810502932214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228745322317838,0.048732919118439584,0.06674087025441358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653429232421287,0.10542105762406606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057004496662961375,0.0,0.0770970550254201,0.0,0.12579759179721056,0.0,0.05901093686798075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854328439952328,0.0,0.0,0.07572255657753935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040549160181368935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033070483036085,0.0,0.3126903268957794,0.10813981521607463,0.0,0.06515166520823297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416283008990413,0.0,0.39955176570774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435582381977306,0.0,0.07449971043072992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271679503319195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223046242047743,0.15702044607369758,0.0,0.0,0.1597994124725102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770874416875738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706636365435608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180167291200754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602041156216515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759086019075278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573710137445543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058923130773876224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448951932629357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04901808983932175,0.0,0.0,0.05857539242669948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410054732723177,0.0,0.05009375566094889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875176140985727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481525966464165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337228968614055,0.0,0.053714840456040996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950275556513892
mentalhealth,pmotivated,2019/03/17,"Looking for a therapist to talk about my feelings I started research this year. First time ever being in a lab (other than general biology and chem labs). I didn’t realize the toll it would take on my mental health. Part of me is thinking I’m being dramatic, but I shouldn’t be affected so much to the point where I’m having anxiety attacks and secluding myself from the petty lab members ",7.538599999999999,7.081387893333337,8.557166666666667,67.10775000000002,63.4,11.766666666666666,38.75,11.20814326018867,4.6508,312,15,52,8,4,107,61,75,0.139,0.861,0.0,-0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,5,0,8,1,0,1,1,11,15,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,7,0,9,9,2,9,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,5,41,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205450381072296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30552980983218075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429311070168201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357938005848028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22844001889352544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854704956261633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255257429949581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27064889212304777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974251109650376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290828153907816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25387936267124944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009066336118302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019263668597864,0.2158612089175224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118229817107278,0.0,0.17208467906511535,0.0,0.0,0.15660156605070594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19077984083887964,0.0,0.0,0.17294612134584678
mentalhealth,leviathan-angel,2019/03/17,"Advice What advice would you have for someone who wants/needs professional help, but can’t get it? ",4.003333333333334,7.044391555555558,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,77.8888888888889,5.822222222222222,20.11111111111111,7.1686216300943375,0.6025777777777783,80,2,14,1,2,24,17,18,0.0,0.89,0.11,0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.814015310018074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176086979422681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27917712123821203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35290662063767164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958759566495605,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fromdark2LIGHT,2019/03/17,"A Fight from Dark to LIGHT My very Personal blog about my struggle with Mental Illness, over a decade worth of fighting. Finally I have learned to fight the darkness and find LIGHT in each day. 

Very personal and very detailed. I am healing by allowing my self to open up, through helping other people with my stories, because if i can work through 18 years of fighting so can you, i promise, just read my story and you'll believe.

​

[https://www.afightfromdarktolight.com/](https://www.afightfromdarktolight.com/)

​

​",10.58862745098039,13.239305058823533,7.149117647058822,69.03936274509806,57.235294117647065,8.019607843137255,41.22549019607843,8.344100000000001,3.7947254901960794,450,23,61,5,6,124,60,85,0.187,0.74,0.073,-0.8603,0,0,0,0,8,0,37.0,0,2,0,1,3,6,4,1,3,0,5,2,0,1,0,12,5,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,7,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,11,1,15,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,3,41,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4325027483372184,0.485037731113249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111052536651353,0.0,0.0,0.14991006878537202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581098297868316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457578227740425,0.12161200706327145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891855367567298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409051304695868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224521277997576,0.2323610909451036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330933568807078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880783443781888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910043172530695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32935874511757457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686733526675964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.485037731113249,0.08568457073233789
mentalhealth,ToniTheMacaroniPony,2019/03/17,"Need support/need to vent Hi r/mentalhealth, I'm Mel. I very recently joined this community because I have been going through a difficult time once again. I'm 19 years old and I have suffered from various mental health problems as long as I remember, mostly anxiety and depression related. I was diagnosed with Asperger's (ASD now) when I was 4. I had a hard enough time as a kid, I was socially isolated with only a few friends. Those friends abused me often, sometimes physically harming me as part of ""games."" I heard from many of my peers that I was annoying, that I was a freak, that I was weird, that there was something wrong with me. When I was 12, my family moved 3,000 miles across the United States. I had adjustment issues and immediately developed anorexia, which affected me for all of seventh grade and part of eighth. It took me a few years to recover physically, but then my other mental illnesses got even worse. I was hospitalized for the first time at 14 years old for suicidal ideation and self harm. Nonetheless I forced myself through the first two years of high school. My family began to fight, leaving holes in the walls, sometimes even broken windows and doors cracked in half. Around the time I was 16, I hung out with this high school guy who sold weed and became his ""friend with benefits."" This was a strategic decision on my part. First, the weed really helped with my constant all-consuming anxiety, and second, he had a car, so I could pretend to want sex and he would drive over and take me away from my family. Otherwise I would hide in the forest with my packed go-bag. But this guy wasn't great and I began looking for an alternative. Being young, naive, and socially inept, I chose to do so on the internet. Every time I met someone who seemed like an ok candidate, I would chicken out of meeting them. I was scared. Then, I had wisdom tooth surgery and the painkillers lowered my inhibition and critical thinking abilities by a lot. I decided to meet with this guy I met online. I'm still not comfortable saying this because I feel like a dirty exaggerating liar every time I do, but I was raped. I wish I had resisted physically but he had at least 50-70 lbs on me, I was physically numb/weak from the painkillers, and I froze because I was overwhelmed. I'm pretty sure he lied about his age, too, but I have no way of knowing because I don't know his real identity. I did not seek medical care because I was afraid of telling my parents. I had also skipped my period that month and I was terrified I was pregnant. I knew that if I was my parents would not let me get an abortion because they are religious. Instead I went home and acted like everything was normal. I couldn't keep my feelings together and within a few weeks I broke down and attempted suicide while I was at school. This led to my second hospitalization and my enrollment in a local day treatment program. Despite the program I got progressively worse, probably because none of the therapists ever worked with me on addressing my trauma. This was likely because I downplayed the weight of my trauma and refused to call it sexual assault. Nonetheless, I described to multiple mental health professionals the scenario I had been in and none of them did anything. To cope with my extreme distress I began stealing my brother's ADHD meds and sneaking my parents' alcohol. The program ran drug tests so I could not smoke weed.  I discovered ritalin doesn't show on standard five panel drug screens, and neither does alcohol. I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation once again, returned to the program, and then attempted suicide a second time, and was again hospitalized. My parents then decided to drive me two states over and leave me, by surprise, at a private troubled teen treatment facility for a year. Once again I talked with therapists about anxiety/depression/ASD, but I received no help for my trauma. I graduated the program by keeping a low profile and doing all the therapy assignments as quickly as possible. I was moved to a transitional living facility operated by the same troubled teen industry franchise. The weight of my trauma was now unbearable. I couldn't sleep and when I did I had bizarre dreams and nightmares. I thought about my trauma all day every day, I isolated myself, and had frequent breakdowns and crying spells. I couldn't even watch movies because if I saw so much as a kiss scene, I would be triggered. I felt extremely guilty, like all of this was my fault and I was secretly lying to myself and others about being taken advantage of.  I  experienced pressured speech and could not stop talking about it. Suddenly all the stress was pouring out of me all at once. I was made fun of consistently for this. My erratic behavior and frequent breakdowns made me into an outcast. One person snapped at me, ""no one cares about you or your stupid problems and no one likes you."" During a therapy session, my therapist there told me that I could accept ""partial blame"" for my sexual assault. Fortunately, I got a new therapist who worked with me using EMDR and who did not place blame on me at all. Just my luck, as soon as I got a better therapist, it was time for me to start college. I went to therapy and to a psychiatrist but I was still suffering severely from post traumatic stress. When I got to college, I developed a drinking problem almost immediately. I would drink until I lost consciousness 2-4 times a week all year. During my drunken hazes I would tell all of the stuff above to completely random strangers, or very uncomfortable acquaintances. My school is small, and word got around. I now had a cloud of gossip and stigma floating around me everywhere I went on a campus with well under 2000 people. My roommate also (understandably) grew to dislike me because of my behavior. At the end of my first year I began to smoke weed again in an attempt to replace alcohol. That worked, but now I'm more or less addicted to THC and have been for a year. Despite its potential drawbacks, weed is one of the very few things in this life that brings me any comfort, so I ended up getting a medical marijuana card in my state.  I am now finishing my sophomore year of college. This year began ok. I was still experiencing many symptoms, but not as many as before. I moved in with 5 other people into a suite and we all became good friends, or at least that's what I thought. I was already good friends with a few of them, and I trusted them with this story. I still experienced many breakdowns, substance abuse issues, pressured speech about my trauma, and sleep issues. Instead of sitting down and talking with me about it, they made housing plans for next year without me and talked behind my back. A few weeks ago, some major fights happened. The biggest one happened after I had a self harm relapse and, despite, my best efforts, I ended up telling them. I heard my roomate loudly trash talking me to everyone in the common area of my suite. She knew I was in my room, too. She was planning her 20th birthday party and was upset with me because she thought my mental health problems were going to ruin it. I heard her yell ""everything is fine except HER."" I stormed out of my room, yelled at everyone, skipped her birthday party, and moved out the next weekend to a single room. I am miserably depressed. I wish I could just keep my problems hidden. It seems that no matter how hard I try not to, I keep crying out for help in the worst ways to the worst people and every time I get burned. I feel like no one likes me. I feel like I'm an unbearable, terrible person because of what I've been through. I now have to carry not just the weight of my trauma, depression, anxiety, panic disorder, substance issues, and ASD, but also the weight of the social ostracism that comes with having the diseases I do.  I've been in therapy for over a decade and I've tried a long, long, long list of psychiatric medications. As luck would have it, I carry a gene that makes me less receptive to SSRIs, SSNRIs worsen my anxiety, most mood stablizers/antipsychotics give me awul side effects, and anxiety medication short of benzodiazapines does absolutely nothing to me. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of a tangled mess that I have no capability to solve. I am losing hope because I'm so young and I've been fighting for so long already. I'm tired. I can't imagine living an enjoyable life because I see no end to my suffering. This has been depressing. I'm sorry. I just needed to post this somewhere online because I've learned that friends are only friends until they get sick of your disease.",5.95895022317645,7.237988640149165,6.351553703599072,75.57787691394995,66.88688626476072,9.530213006384539,34.142499576247246,9.755527503153225,3.4530479303915467,6858,314,1195,148,110,2214,610,1609,0.228,0.679,0.093,-0.9998,5,1,10,0,6,2,200.0,1,4,8,21,60,104,9,11,78,2,106,33,3,10,12,215,192,105,4,30,31,5,13,10,7,8,21,9,7,8,52,87,9,6,28,7,2,20,28,60,1,17,98,30,220,43,192,74,40,195,0,14,5,3,85,69,0,18,108,846,272,24,0.0,0.07384873640345102,0.0,0.0339734742320234,0.03745319787214985,0.0,0.02762509857509385,0.09991485128104106,0.031206349316535983,0.0,0.06878072919361942,0.07476577005969083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021192659930049283,0.0,0.11920227437936935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025645402900648283,0.08322798135089966,0.0,0.0,0.029279702323840074,0.023963272949611838,0.0,0.28496023551493393,0.0,0.026518357844227725,0.0,0.032704805320310414,0.027562118175855785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03182203536164505,0.0,0.06354776365469117,0.0,0.0,0.02684511683103377,0.03267497096607446,0.033677326043079554,0.0,0.12441000920228913,0.0,0.06846461154920468,0.06029480837136542,0.0,0.10736639121314193,0.03163091037776239,0.0,0.0,0.03571676403788377,0.0,0.0545438362520001,0.0,0.0,0.061057916820462486,0.07228093525055357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040858744324028,0.032200850953827284,0.0,0.06175079192397314,0.0281897169747404,0.10502840957992624,0.05955727529898513,0.05601657585120571,0.0,0.08813623342739223,0.0,0.078787538829782,0.08905457079812938,0.029922427796993892,0.0,0.0,0.1060326865075696,0.0,0.0,0.16854117046475028,0.0,0.0651278340383599,0.029895449032898213,0.053133836813174885,0.052277945078893294,0.14954868904598767,0.03435853556640204,0.0,0.09257209011140784,0.05511662991594517,0.0,0.055833833302433376,0.0,0.0,0.09937795832523696,0.0,0.0,0.0626659276188484,0.06585317550900757,0.031260138085146806,0.030952987827443407,0.0,0.0359591927720972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010891491096152,0.0,0.11080035301901267,0.0,0.0,0.03425395397809071,0.0,0.0,0.06599657449385025,0.0,0.03186740859575166,0.04402425771160395,0.15225207447956898,0.0,0.05503695099126081,0.13789626037592845,0.02616999915579246,0.03486466180744261,0.03401930176350446,0.026494607466226717,0.0,0.08846468844889703,0.020802281950537776,0.1263820434901818,0.0,0.0,0.03461629499376313,0.12557822784347178,0.1256243510708163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024874891132401104,0.13249004583055354,0.02290920281948821,0.04621557766785103,0.0,0.030098486616440594,0.0662867580182306,0.0,0.030534205942875106,0.029902799060895286,0.0,0.06540297125218605,0.13275501812363666,0.12670562369519736,0.04740341202500695,0.0,0.036564362307111485,0.13841620145092848,0.1012430657517228,0.0,0.0648157990350272,0.05442258852023168,0.0325598565795717,0.0,0.0,0.035132845674780235,0.059693195697794216,0.03170509828454041,0.033600175901156826,0.14909919747020975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03547157395884183,0.01996452354055552,0.0,0.030770793829262007,0.0,0.0353028556648388,0.0,0.0,0.02478294697646579,0.031200705531785437,0.1261589513390008,0.024833756699287092,0.056741261144995114,0.06502191590052912,0.03520656791982206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623732222974527,0.0953036407811321,0.02640524486988385,0.02399165041924944,0.061644193032366075,0.03488566388629162,0.022058113781704303,0.0,0.09955077741416432,0.02605458705317054,0.07139675352308117,0.0,0.03567544405490723,0.1363538900708721,0.035364656821296594,0.02937179996662575,0.0323914374149455,0.02343152839261897,0.1252426348345119,0.08171640363912003,0.0,0.14255547929245882,0.18091963825852184,0.02070404647025859,0.01996870000760652,0.0,0.07422245445250909,0.18172040126853167,0.03581855404826445,0.0,0.029778637649492564,0.03462446711441375,0.042316762993978616,0.0,0.06088560414578164,0.032442932163129067,0.0,0.026915780599475303,0.0,0.07714095069948003,0.018381396448067758,0.049473231648969454,0.0749938952540994,0.15179793597480865,0.028020272878169925,0.0866683121219575,0.0,0.0,0.07167436506042353,0.03004108493828965,0.0,0.06806351838208148,0.0,0.0635177704403862,0.17710468729265444,0.03407305638107076,0.0,0.22075527912977694
mentalhealth,Fromwet2dry,2019/03/17,"Never realized how weird this was until I thought about it I honestly dont know where to post this because its just a weird realization I had that, honestly is kinda baffling/funny. Does anyone else feel like their thoughts are like...in front of some kind of audience in the very very background of their mind? Like obviously I know its not a real audience but like if I think something funny, its almost like I am..performing...in some sort of way and I feel really proud of myself that I thought of something funny. In fact, I always feel in some ways that Im ""performing"", even when I am alone. Is this normal? I definitley maladaptavily daydream and have since I was a kid...living inside my head and that sorta thing. Like actually daydreaming about menial, funny stories about crushes or people I want to impress. It's bizarre and I never really thought about it until just now. If I posted this to the wrong sub, I really apologize. If y'all have any other suggestions where I should post this Id be happy to know.",5.139756995581736,6.5836163041237175,5.932842415316642,77.20814432989691,68.94845360824743,9.048011782032402,28.80559646539028,9.424239791934726,2.6491307805596462,809,29,144,17,14,265,108,194,0.066,0.6970000000000001,0.237,0.9851,0,1,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,2,2,12,14,0,0,5,0,12,1,1,1,4,41,24,13,0,6,8,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,17,4,0,0,12,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,7,3,22,11,19,15,3,17,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,11,11,98,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.119409243963556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252949210212738,0.12673180951412338,0.0,0.0,0.10181633589733248,0.0,0.0,0.083211459026579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555948963861643,0.1253759910618897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459172826825074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708123025652652,0.0,0.143409253734834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221910487210804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082001833025759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18561217178340747,0.08741659604737599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025835102264982,0.0,0.0,0.1255803781369429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321737095252045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742288255153794,0.20174353979309026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586841094723927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355237633060692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874873761772204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989036935953737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483152851789602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35157157650580584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927659070767573,0.2351678087691908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122045263684888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884029888113001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129295332585952,0.0784056681880203,0.0,0.3885721910581471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019256063054659,0.07217323462171643,0.19425309526311546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378541175681447,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beyofbiz,2019/03/17,"mental health startup hey friends,

we're launching a mental health startup, with an app for the workplace. we're looking for beta trial users and people who have gone through mental health issues who can give us feedback. the 3 of us who created it have suffered and recovered from mental health issues, and we'd love to get as much feedback from you all in how to make this a product that helps humans in the workplace. let me know if you want to try it.",6.85227272727273,6.839302409090912,6.29218181818182,81.29827272727275,64.68181818181819,7.94909090909091,33.50909090909091,6.742157984588678,2.1184018181818183,364,14,66,2,5,112,59,88,0.035,0.823,0.14300000000000002,0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,3,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,0,5,5,0,3,1,11,13,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,2,13,10,2,5,0,1,1,1,14,2,0,1,2,43,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728986947480533,0.0,0.07255333749787986,0.13321582916803246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5904451478998993,0.0,0.0,0.09308098476953464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898863797453457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631878812814408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200299366127256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116615011637028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533472299172954,0.0,0.09269615704980873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.559789286763304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208471683493844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627430139548383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428295697693806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340846934803187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190855291723594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sepultura97,2019/03/17,"How much does it cost to see an endocrinologist? I have been very fatigued lately (m, 21) which should not be the case for someone my age. I think the cause might be sleep apnea but I also want to see an endocrinologist to check out my hormone levels. How much does it cost to see one?",2.614210526315788,4.504292877192988,3.761263157894735,88.4008421052632,76.36842105263158,5.963508771929827,20.171929824561406,6.742157984588678,0.09406245614035047,222,5,48,2,5,72,40,57,0.04,0.934,0.026,-0.1917,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,6,2,1,3,0,10,11,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,5,0,6,6,2,4,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517555448465506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378721887591205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052730994526233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612056840179201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24564472803175064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404411669816241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15690859671043453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5535613686250408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23172360857189606,0.0,0.19619697046576728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837197931462984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910582651371774,0.13657795312302942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,westcompassslut,2019/03/17,"I want to be there for my friend...[Sorry, looong post] TW: self-harm mention

One of my best friends has BPD. I love him so much. I know the strides he's making, and there's been a significant change and improvement over the years I've known him. But lately, he's been putting me in really uncomfortable places. I hate feeling afraid to talk to my best friend. I went from talking to him every day to now once a week, but only if he texts me first.

 Lately he's been very critical of my friends outside of our immediate friend group. I try to keep them very separate because they have nothing in common, but also if I don't invite him to things, he gets scared that I'm abandoning him. I'm used to having to remind him that I still love him, I just also have other people that I hang out with at other times, like during school or at work. So I started trying to include him in those groups so he wouldn't feel left out, and he's been very vocal about not liking my friends. So I say I understand, you don't have to like or hang out with them, but then we just keep repeating the same cycle.

A group of our friends went out one night and we had run into a friend of mine. They hung around to talk to me, got to talking to the rest of the group, and everyone invited them to come to a diner with us. Before they got there, He announced to the table, ""I think you all need to know that I don't like [name]."" But like directed it at me. I knew that he didn't like this friend, but I wasn't intending for them to be invited out by the majority of the group. He then went off about all the reasons he didn't like my friend, and it all really boiled down to my friend being loud and naive. I said, ""I understand, he can be overbearing sometimes, but if I ask him to tone it down he will or I can keep him occupied so you don't have to talk to him"" and he just blurted out, ""But I can't live my life like that!"" I then had to call them and make up some reason why they couldn't come anymore. I also got a lot of guilt for my friend even running into us in the first place, even though it was a literal random encounter. 

A few days later, he ended up going out with his boyfriend and the same group of friends. Sometime in the night he texted me, furious that his boyfriend and the group were talking about a band that he didn't listen to. He had hid in the bathroom and was there for a while. All talking about how mad and terrified he was to be in the bathroom alone. I asked if there was anyone else there that he could start a conversation with, he said yes but they were all in the conversation. Later that night, a huge fight ensued between him and his boyfriend that I got put in the middle of it. I don't know what was said, but I knew it was strictly about this scenario and he kept saying how hurt he was and that his boyfriend needed to own up to hurting him that badly. I definitely understand the discomfort he felt being left out, but I was afraid to tell him that I thought it was unfair to be this angry at the boyfriend.

After that he asked me if he should self harm. Obviously, I said no. But for roughly an hour and a half, we argued about why he shouldn't do it. Everytime I gave an answer, he would say that he was hurting too bad, he couldn't take it anymore, and would tell me that whatever I was saying was wrong. Whenever he said that, I would apologize and remind him that my seratonin was dangerously out of whack and I couldn't really remember anything or form sentences properly. Eventually, he said that it was unfair to involve me in this and he shouldn't have brought it up and he would wake up his boyfriend like I had asked him to.

I fell asleep after that but did get one more text that night saying that his boyfriend wouldn't wake up and he was going to have to live with his pain all night and I haven't gone out of my way to talk to him since. I'm legitimately afraid of upsetting him to the point that he pushes me away. I've watched him cycle through friends like crazy, sometimes for better and other times for worse. I don't want to lose him like that, him and that whole group of friends is one of the closest things I have to family, but he's getting very combative and it's starting to really hurt. Does anyone have advice on the best course of action to still be there for him, without us getting too hurt. He and I have a lot of similar diagnoses, but this is one of the few I don't share with him, so my understanding only goes so far.",4.724326608505997,4.821694492911671,5.221331788440568,86.79387336423122,69.17448200654307,8.600163576881135,27.171074154852786,8.362691859325677,1.4984179934569246,3498,99,773,47,56,1121,312,917,0.129,0.7390000000000001,0.132,-0.6274,0,1,0,0,1,1,96.0,8,3,10,8,38,57,6,7,39,1,77,10,3,8,7,143,141,69,0,22,29,0,4,11,14,10,3,13,0,1,50,53,2,5,19,1,0,18,23,25,0,8,51,18,116,32,127,68,23,101,0,7,1,2,152,48,0,13,44,527,166,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04102898398540579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043485629347613214,0.0,0.1007304101711553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327918382147742,0.058716249185745126,0.043020405826363656,0.034551532755222436,0.037377125443457934,0.15700784202110646,0.0,0.039447950879326975,0.0,0.07011439538020171,0.025594744210683345,0.0,0.03572764729878284,0.0,0.13218756866354167,0.037133884487824516,0.0,0.0,0.05288086477903636,0.0,0.04287318477292988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044416433548824366,0.07233576614869948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03352301794347522,0.0,0.0,0.05415598406944714,0.0,0.0,0.04261568594686168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0367429038287566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035074557238275066,0.0,0.03718781432564786,0.0,0.0,0.05546372886887911,0.0,0.035375663114830674,0.04012015635466321,0.0,0.0,0.039581388367938834,0.0,0.042459543164545234,0.0,0.04031388191282728,0.0,0.0,0.07142784722828263,0.0,0.0,0.4865830948178972,0.0,0.08774541385724141,0.0,0.04772409595001653,0.0,0.13432261649624022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04145324108737265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041348509123856986,0.0,0.2247385189479235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195930635573632,0.0,0.0,0.06922448932396956,0.0,0.09472580677432277,0.0,0.09123749308403993,0.0,0.02965649610262872,0.2256387554015873,0.0,0.07415017117450122,0.0,0.0,0.04697245385874421,0.0,0.07139129778951163,0.07578939521502641,0.0,0.05605298766269018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030865105714270993,0.06226531327187361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19700868864756452,0.0,0.04028743651359211,0.0,0.0,0.044714537873404105,0.14225660392025638,0.06386565848220423,0.04467688169231137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02910833846895872,0.0,0.08773447276088442,0.0,0.03969106730758052,0.0,0.040211717757105366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441659780442831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759119546318004,0.08633878126971344,0.0,0.0,0.04756282358214516,0.0,0.2396341888040993,0.1669478166409803,0.042036079657000965,0.042492851023251135,0.0,0.0,0.08760271249190082,0.0,0.0,0.0347318885656179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457796215827108,0.04700074953489679,0.08915535199032269,0.0,0.06706137470248923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031568824397063135,0.2699789910323841,0.07339657216315787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05578828631034719,0.02690342573540096,0.041251786615194436,0.0333328040133078,0.04896564441624055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05701251909926036,0.0,0.0,0.17483882591393834,0.1515147374870427,0.03626308694068686,0.0,0.13857392402517527,0.04952976749264392,0.03332714230398901,0.03367925287756265,0.0,0.0,0.11676646441167665,0.07577305542120022,0.04687672730359209,0.0,0.04047374627994228,0.0,0.03056686733713101,0.0,0.042788103864303616,0.11930478198766944,0.04590593987475812,0.0,0.02703810215488757
mentalhealth,alexanderstrom,2019/03/17,"Am I an OCD sufferer? For a couple of weeks I’ve been terrified, the only thing I could think about is wether or not my boyfriend was planning to break up with me. But that fear is gone now and replaced by a more terrifying thought saying “what if you don’t love him anymore?” Now all I can think of is every “reason” why I should break up with him, even when I know I love him really really much. I like him a lot, his the best thing in my life. But why am I thinking like this. Suddenly I think about all his “flaws” and stuff and it freaks me out. I’ve read about ocd and my thoughts kinda suits the criteria. I also got a lot of compulsions. Is these thoughts the truth or only ocd. Please help. ",2.199791666666666,3.7421982847222246,3.2663888888888906,93.0175,76.56944444444444,7.022222222222222,21.722222222222214,7.793537801064563,0.6515388888888887,539,14,124,8,12,173,89,144,0.1,0.731,0.16899999999999998,0.8945,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,2,8,9,0,1,9,0,12,3,0,1,3,30,24,11,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,8,7,0,0,9,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,7,1,22,6,15,15,7,12,0,1,0,2,11,4,0,6,7,88,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110956259612095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019156839792022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589309384751275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091556164035525,0.16756969865346572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000272102314436,0.0,0.1275979442287146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041639358887326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112345196687573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150959560156624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322955906484067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069692438962617,0.1479755946860548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575042283784837,0.2733679081119675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132862795416694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303596883170803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16623982902620896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148479591559022,0.0,0.19403756918490334,0.15570946276636058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204341986620224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17336693334915404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122508013875048,0.38815632152578944,0.0,0.36068841341608426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214790918939523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27330897143296945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dabarbarian125,2019/03/17,"If you are suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts, this the wisdom I’ve gathered since my suicide attempt a decade ago. First and foremost you need some rest. I would say that 10/10 times when I have suicidal ideation it’s also when I am over tired or over worked.

Secondly there are people in your life that genuinely care enough to force you into help. I know it’s scary to reach out to them and admit that you are having a hard time alone but I whole heartedly recommend it. I would not be alive to type this if it weren’t for the wonderful people in my support network. One method my friend and I came up with is that I can kill myself, I just have to get his permission first. This gives me the benefit of having the “option” but also puts the social pressure on me to never do it. 

I know you might think no one gives a shit, but the same people who would be devastated if you died would probably prefer to help you out before it gets to that point. There is something socially validating about suicide in the brain of the suicidal. It feels easier than to admit you are having a hard time. You feel like people will take what you are going through seriously. But plain and simple you will not be around to enjoy that validation because you will be dead. And all the people who would have helped you will be asking what they could have done. Instead of leaving the people you love on this Earth with the trauma of dealing with your death, please reach out to them.

Lastly what you have gone through is not easy. You may feel exhausted, defeated or even angry at others. Self reflection might be productive but you are right to feel angry at how they treated you. What you do with that anger is your responsibility now and it seems like you are just letting it eat away at you. Maybe there is some way to can transfer that anger into productivity or artistic expression. Who knows?

You have real problems. They suck, you’re totally right to feel that way. You should feel no blame that shitty things happen to you. But these problems are still your responsibility. And there are people out there who can help. Again I would not be alive today if it wasn’t for the friend I mentioned above and a wonderful therapist who came in at the right time. You may not have luck the first few times; my first therapist sent me into a mental breakdown. But I promise you that you will find the right fit if you keep trying.

Focus on the problems that you can solve. I think about the serenity prayer they say in AA every day. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. There are many issues in your life you may not have control over, but there are some that you do. Focus on those. Try to define them as precisely as possible. Don’t say “everybody hates me”. Say “everybody hates me when I ______”. The first is a cry of defeat. The second gives you a concrete area of yourself that you can improve. I always tell my friend “if you are going to hate yourself, at least be more specific”.

There is so much in life worth living for. A beautiful sunrise, your daughter’s graduation some day. Hell even if it’s just a new season of a tv show you love. The future is a mystery, and that’s a good thing. It means that everything is going to change. If things are good they are going to get worse. But that also means if things are bad they are going to get better. Take solace in that during the bad times and prepare yourself what things feel like they are going too well.

Don’t hesitate to dm me if there is anything I can help you with. We’re all on this crazy ride together.

God bless.

(Also posted on r/male mental health)",3.8700631762570445,5.74867251182198,4.228636760095238,86.45074184955567,72.83866481223922,7.322420499281018,23.591169467952188,8.062487944422118,1.2017244807996033,2932,82,577,44,59,918,289,719,0.21,0.634,0.157,-0.9953,1,1,2,0,0,4,68.0,0,42,10,11,32,46,9,1,40,0,82,12,3,2,5,116,134,45,9,23,32,1,9,3,3,17,6,4,0,1,55,26,1,2,25,3,1,12,14,22,2,9,8,13,85,24,79,99,15,80,2,4,0,2,88,39,3,28,29,437,140,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04631140825370952,0.0,0.0,0.0541093253590044,0.0,0.1671189500000086,0.043471432050502516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04299259676248065,0.04650849193045871,0.04884135595649088,0.0,0.04908522748544936,0.0,0.08724359492765263,0.031847632488096286,0.0,0.04445604032881964,0.0,0.0,0.04620582633250235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832190260085556,0.0,0.11950709275802544,0.05326653257404074,0.0,0.16580258514610974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859641037856745,0.041712812074520496,0.0,0.05738789615117384,0.06738648620504817,0.053861565937267285,0.04499792790497231,0.0,0.05422132167657102,0.054584160365612464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346404450864321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053458948480167114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398231432860978,0.0,0.06901371777328334,0.0,0.044018065139856746,0.0,0.04695379649357975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491396917862693,0.07464665825318301,0.0,0.0,0.04775033190316171,0.22219481949273773,0.0,0.0,0.1210914197940106,0.0,0.10918193477686357,0.15035244214535556,0.17814979389499336,0.08764005857327177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046199450522635535,0.0,0.09360123879412327,0.15474125196063246,0.0,0.055533234109669816,0.0,0.06190973173248164,0.17509122182646902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05452946221630108,0.0,0.046437122833879324,0.05780056301540833,0.0,0.11484837548513592,0.0425860669197276,0.0,0.05531915653482275,0.0,0.053423323194806485,0.11070505502847874,0.07657175911460314,0.0,0.04613266264855352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430501767998724,0.0,0.0,0.05296750703080519,0.052486408478138014,0.1138186891284964,0.0,0.0,0.10529990677197318,0.110845864984586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038405562306187975,0.03873847688251367,0.0402940149517888,0.050457858013563915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708041620320775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535372734290097,0.0,0.0,0.057348538545400576,0.04938773813353803,0.058897583830749924,0.050035585364779686,0.0,0.0563281777737381,0.14997218096232354,0.0,0.052519938481133385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059465436423478686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17846534282272153,0.0,0.1661870160625472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047561236796551165,0.054502185476772366,0.0,0.05362800991379009,0.04321701414752214,0.0,0.0,0.10651294279324017,0.0,0.04022020461667681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04172235514625548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28573385235568033,0.059286197851977626,0.0,0.0,0.07856240400005714,0.0,0.045663809665318016,0.0,0.0,0.12131928804855505,0.24296148018695826,0.06695205925396239,0.0,0.04147612819550913,0.1827843835915715,0.06004712254971924,0.049521475384691316,0.0,0.0,0.07094088304019573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293816662038762,0.0,0.0,0.04697388836871736,0.0,0.0,0.058328880770231024,0.0,0.0,0.11331340148549107,0.03803446321839026,0.0,0.053241391885605865,0.22267705546534364,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CHFerret,2019/03/17,"Slowly making myself crazy Without even realizing it. 
I had been exercising, taking meds, not drinking booze or coffee, not smoking.  Today I had a mental breakdown and didn’t recognize the path I was on. My friend wanted to drive me to the hospital but I was too scared of getting put into the looney bin. I don’t want people to know because then my kids will get taken away, I will not be able to have a healthy Relationship. I don’t c the point of living life. ",3.149258241758244,5.18213418681319,4.666030219780222,81.8695947802198,75.26373626373626,6.747802197802199,24.561813186813183,7.6454224807358475,1.3569000000000004,365,12,68,5,8,122,68,91,0.065,0.852,0.083,0.1406,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,6,0,12,4,0,1,0,13,20,4,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,2,2,0,2,7,1,0,0,7,0,11,1,10,10,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,2,49,12,0,0.23610208675276384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218256825096537,0.0,0.0,0.1439256406641446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312901600145164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594320156838778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18241188654863635,0.0,0.24670719114810816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297555322763216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676588624171235,0.0,0.0,0.20848246819344055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575999762702197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622561929768941,0.0,0.2379353716433328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16368345892923447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22319278692001013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373478090204635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25348528243311497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23637937718156826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775193859708388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237971715492316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2785182559218307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22759398630705074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,r_ld,2019/03/17,"Am I crazy? Hey, I’m relatively new to reddit and really don’t know my way around. 
TL;DR : I lay in bed for hours and imagine myself in a completely different reality with an alter body; including people who don’t exist, places that could never exist and even happenings that are impossible. For some strange reason, I tend to play out scenes in which I’m hurt and being cared for, etc. 


Basically, this started about 2 years ago. I had a dream that I was being chased and they were trying to kill me. I woke up but wanted to continue the dream [why? I’m unsure] 
This led to me [for the first time] laying in bed, for hours, continuing the dream whilst awake and fully conscious. 
Ever since then, I’ve spent minimum an hour a night/day laying in my bed imagining myself in a completely different world. I’m a completely different person, a person I wish I was. 
I have friends, a significant other, etc. 
none of these people are real. 
I have dialogue with them, though I create their dialogue. 
I don’t know why I do this every night. Am I crazy? 
Why do I commonly do it in circumstances where I’m injured and need help?
What is going on with me and am I crazy? Should I tell someone?",2.889610389610389,5.003393372294372,4.688744588744591,81.03883116883121,76.31601731601731,8.20952380952381,23.12121212121212,8.976282227363876,1.87359393939394,923,28,177,22,21,313,131,231,0.08,0.799,0.121,0.8504,3,0,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,0,3,1,6,5,1,0,12,0,22,2,1,2,2,30,39,11,1,5,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,2,12,13,0,0,6,4,1,2,5,2,0,1,6,0,27,3,26,29,4,34,0,1,0,0,10,14,0,1,17,119,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019184337422354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235215969460547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771134764037806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172247136404268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616474186743073,0.0,0.0,0.09179821201569288,0.0,0.0,0.07414938768204209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.360373329685086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564551186735665,0.07593992805885266,0.10400150406314657,0.0968714281120688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779770834986276,0.0,0.0,0.08882942893479195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534296353723107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167204614516898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706534421413823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396817565904819,0.0,0.12308315584987327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272028442684624,0.0,0.12637454774815254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525253362619008,0.08867583707613956,0.11104360788507478,0.0,0.21579256855569298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941842889584507,0.2007835362868503,0.12012444322836202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086676416483128,0.07365595326772491,0.11821348784196085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510853932148952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974179763523112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137992347170049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004932506974668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296239080004418,0.0,0.06704286909946837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806050345239424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781525614794266,0.09126183329488133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31124126495833765,0.0,0.13221561918721134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404015468718941
mentalhealth,CAAPlayers,2019/03/17,"Could i be slightly insane? For a while now I've been constantly laughing under my breath. But more recently like the past few months when I'm alone I will laugh alot more louder and it isn't the normal laugh I have. people have started noticing me doing it under my breath recently and I don't really care that I do it, I just don't want them to start worrying about me.",3.2475438596491237,4.763830421052635,4.4105263157894745,86.00201754385971,73.73684210526315,7.698245614035088,23.192982456140356,8.344100000000001,1.2995771929824564,296,8,60,5,6,97,53,76,0.138,0.696,0.16699999999999998,0.6491,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,11,2,2,0,0,8,16,5,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,11,5,5,12,4,12,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,11,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578423506907022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538262652677478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690319659451338,0.0,0.1987703496181932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162686213289935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871354559030466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24392309065384754,0.0,0.2834369742740438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376557648967152,0.17259408517560887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948697976801735,0.0,0.4916261550569205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35242333124323705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684013858210598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25282593764989025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Eat-Happy-Pills,2019/03/17,"To Help You Hello, we have a server in discord which is here to make sure that everyone has a place to go to. In the discord there are people who are willing to help you through your tough journey, I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed, just want people to know that there is also another place for them to feel safe. [Discord Link](https://discord.gg/pHvUxYJ)",5.164477611940299,6.826978582089553,4.6061492537313455,85.90564179104479,69.1492537313433,7.151044776119402,29.817910447761196,7.554174236665415,1.8233904477611933,283,11,52,3,5,85,48,67,0.112,0.725,0.163,0.5719,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,3,1,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,2,1,10,14,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,11,13,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,0,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20962450678178768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27486516464199306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250475540809307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254032390404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897398002446038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35139915388115844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440592707515212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497317650854394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634545566383546,0.0,0.5477381323776352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934320109355138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24705352769248445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546105053680487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,R3dFiveStandingBye,2019/03/17,"Post depression I just turned 23. I am not depressed anymore and haven’t been for the last two years. I had bad depression from 13 to 21 and had been on a handful of different meds throughout the years. The thing is though, I found out I had a heart condition around 20 and believe that was the true cause of my bad mental health since after being treated for it my depression is pretty much non existent. The thing is though, I’m happy but so happy that I don’t care what others think of me and my hobbies(see like I’m pretty nerdy and didn’t realize it until recently). It just feels like maybe my depression killed my ability to truly care what others think of me and I don’t know if that’s good or not. It feels like the person I was from 13 to 21 is like dead. I feel COMPLETELY different and it honestly is still shocking to be. Maybe the physical symptoms where just creating the bad mental issues, I just feel like a totally different person. I’m happy much more often but mainly feel like I’m stuck in neutral? Anyone else feel like this?",3.572935520361991,5.356945875000001,4.555803167420817,84.1921380090498,73.42307692307692,8.163348416289592,25.21606334841629,8.841846274778883,1.8890104072398195,834,27,162,17,17,271,108,208,0.154,0.5760000000000001,0.27,0.9847,3,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,11,26,1,0,11,0,19,4,2,1,2,34,37,15,2,1,10,0,7,7,0,0,2,0,0,2,15,9,0,0,11,0,0,0,6,10,0,1,10,7,17,16,18,25,5,13,0,5,0,0,2,5,0,3,14,109,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863648644357201,0.060891817959832575,0.08922881677438718,0.0,0.07752406360852541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21813687313450567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811491089654406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757780947402127,0.08946022656478425,0.0,0.0,0.09130690735730414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750306750832663,0.0,0.0,0.2729556954800161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274829656160266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641965870320773,0.3110675084475128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548414663461867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304271965696267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781106279988591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256722363611404,0.0,0.10319607842782863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089405658897946,0.0,0.0,0.0963465882857514,0.0,0.04785960798169055,0.07098585276981954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978171350703869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497706335119548,0.0,0.09673174134815048,0.0,0.17552228274286535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280349085323153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207842887820225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340330424622147,0.1771933921426553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859858766024995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203756592995178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954614910094542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051460147545656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571073498085095,0.1116010320886522,0.17112103146398566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472341245074366,0.08506933675479658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215969802066147
mentalhealth,y33ts_on_mars,2019/03/17,Advice? I've been feeling like shit for the past little while. I can't find it myself to be motivated to do anything. It's not to the point of getting out of bed or anything but stuff like practicing music or doing school l. Also it feels like all of my friends are distanceing themselves from and I can't do anything because I'm a wreck at talking to people and I'm getting worse. Like my best friend just started taking the piss out of for stuff like how I'm fat (164 at 5 feet 7 inches). And my family life has been getting worse. I haven't talked to my dad in a few months (Superbowl Sunday) either when he called me a bitchboy. And my mom refuses to cook. Like I know it's not a requirement but all I eat is fast food and I feel like shit because of it. And I don't want to tell her because last time I told her anything important she just twisted it around and used it try and get my to believe in god.,1.4825712623618372,3.3910419371727762,3.190218150087261,91.0898531122746,79.89005235602093,5.9198371146015125,23.700116346713205,6.937597516519254,0.7536280395578818,714,25,155,8,18,237,110,191,0.113,0.6829999999999999,0.204,0.9543,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,6,13,3,0,7,0,13,9,5,3,2,33,29,16,0,1,9,2,3,7,2,0,2,0,1,0,9,11,4,2,6,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,3,19,10,23,25,5,19,0,0,0,0,14,10,3,2,16,96,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105179926253588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090444377340703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722798540265876,0.10068113983974247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20683035336169345,0.0,0.0,0.1274226427838142,0.11868930464634415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154856362089232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572742190103966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661866716722357,0.0,0.1715571416539759,0.2423915609668337,0.0,0.0,0.10336946317082882,0.0,0.13675847130018487,0.0,0.17475836725191496,0.0,0.2363560112781026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062155667022464216,0.09218991157960424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988441582492398,0.3867775659194889,0.11335384224018145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324589339541919,0.09027369228291056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796477575705117,0.07840786740888167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691410456452273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446114770203936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23218680896085306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005130013522965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589401530665526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503557151566066,0.18180767131920814,0.09885257972680782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594831510347589,0.0,0.0,0.1080699230990001,0.0,0.07678607356699899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768030269794502,0.0,0.0,0.0667080920214215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305129149193785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fanimold19,2019/03/17,"Coping mechanisms I'll be honest, I've found a lot of peace of mind in being just upfront and honest about where I've been and what I've gone through. I know this is something that not all people can do, and that some people have suffered unspeakable pain. I guess what my hope is that by regularizing the conversation about mental health struggles it'll at least make people more aware of the struggles that are out there. That our traumas are something that we have to navigate, but that we are also bigger than. Sorry if this is a crazy ramble, just needed to put this down somewhere.",9.619285714285713,7.657707357142861,8.528142857142857,73.81685714285717,60.25,10.745714285714287,34.9,8.841846274778883,2.8444764285714275,472,14,86,5,5,146,75,112,0.125,0.8009999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.5994,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,3,0,0,0,7,8,0,2,4,0,14,2,0,1,1,21,21,6,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,13,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,3,0,6,3,14,15,5,8,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,5,0,66,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429989924460042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252675259736659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263285533607707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21838588069025305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040602047156655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129110524007774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17466795301182328,0.0,0.0,0.13714081293361027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070473046066903,0.0,0.2074479636732864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523400631391222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186154255146176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4273036675370776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20653601762774088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163339916205493,0.0,0.2299867060964935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295661013432893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gahsta,2019/03/17,"am i wrong for this? I’m 17 and i’ve struggled with intense depression and suicidal tendencies since i was 8 years old but my girlfriend of 9 months doesn’t know about any of it. I know that if i opened up to her about it she would see me very differently. We’re very close to each other and i know how much it will upset her and change things for her and i don’t want that. My problem is that when i don’t have my emotions as under control and she asks me if i’m okay, i just lie to her and tell her i’m fine. I feel terrible lying to her but i’m not sure if lying or telling the truth would do more damage to her.",1.3338420703384202,2.4674314087591256,3.0482946250829457,95.3907166556072,77.97810218978103,6.4416721964167225,21.213669542136696,6.980632752743323,0.1854291970802917,481,12,120,5,11,160,82,137,0.246,0.685,0.069,-0.9822,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,0,2,1,1,11,0,0,2,2,31,22,16,1,7,8,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,9,11,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,2,23,4,15,18,3,8,0,2,1,0,13,4,0,4,4,79,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292688141842752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17770999605832144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20109171947794027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21320390585968416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637256262448737,0.0,0.0,0.1986052748425108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138274770499549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611603027312646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134081346904497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15172931053779973,0.0,0.13973920650626925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19946916917943175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18189199955473712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147840294015313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572457451969639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19872502541555448,0.0,0.2079293696149266,0.0,0.17915909398233873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33229689375784643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628841989917364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136909746073649,0.1121209574322293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700712533061567,0.20783533584520295,0.0,0.12241276526107883
mentalhealth,mentalthrowaway7890,2019/03/17,"I'm skeptical of the advice my therapist is giving me. Should I? Hi everyone, I'm currently going to counseling for my depression and anxiety. I'm skeptical of some of the advice i was given about coping mechanisms, and I'm wondering if i shouldn't be. Some background: I'm in my 20's, and my counselor diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. I don't know if going more into the details of my symptoms will help, if not then just skip this part: 

I've been anxious and depressed for as far back as highschool. For the anxiety part I feel like none of my friends actually want me there or care about me as a person. I feel like they are either disgusted with me when i say something, or when i show up at the door they all just think ""Why is this person here"". I either feel that or that if they aren't disgusted with me the only reason they would want someone like me around is that they keep me around as like a circus monkey, because my main social strategy around people is tell self deprecating stories to try and make people laugh. The latter actually happened to me in college where i thought i made a new friend group but i realized they only invite me over when they have someone new friend or boy/girl/friend and they always invite me over and tell me to retell all my stories where i made a fool of myself so the new friend can laugh at me. But either way I don't feel like I have any true friends. As for the depression, I feel kind of like a zombie all the time. I don't really derive any joy anymore from my hobbies that I used to enjoy. My main though when I'm going throughout my day is ""I'm not happy, why am I going through this"". I just want to lay in bed and not have to go outside. Recently, I've started to occasionally skip daily commitments and hanging out with friends because I don't feel like to doing things and just lay in bed. I dont like this feeling, I feel like I can't sustainably feel this way, and I'm worried that I'm going to snap one day and kill myself. I've been passively thinking about suicide a lot, but I'm worried that if i get worse I'm going to actively plan to kill myself. 

I started going to a counselor (therapist? is there a difference?) a couple months ago, and i've told them about this stuff (minus the suicide thoughts stuff), and they recommended that I either go on antidepressants, or if I don't want to go on meds, that I try and mentally keep myself in check to get over these issues. They're exact wording was ""try to not be so hard on yourself"". They haven't told me about any other coping strategies, just to try this. When I heard this, I was skeptical, because I feel like if the answer was just try and think positively I would have been able to get over this already. But I also think that I'm probably not giving their advice a fair chance. So, is thinking positively the way to get over this? Or are there other coping mechanisms for me if I don't want to go the medication route? Thank you all for reading this far, I'm open to any advice on this.",5.7167333490233005,5.557302146622735,6.492330430689577,79.40531136738058,67.07248764415156,9.573057189927043,30.85191809837609,9.23628265651192,2.487691117910096,2381,82,476,40,35,788,219,607,0.128,0.7120000000000001,0.16,0.9248,1,0,1,0,0,4,63.0,0,1,12,1,31,37,7,0,24,0,40,3,0,5,7,108,109,51,4,17,33,0,11,10,6,5,3,2,3,3,27,27,0,2,22,2,1,12,17,12,0,1,15,13,78,25,72,87,17,61,0,4,0,0,34,27,0,18,29,323,105,3,0.05370883714998891,0.0,0.10482415493097468,0.0,0.0,0.20993461624099,0.047609643527667535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059269037349853726,0.04295093766437773,0.04469005503402863,0.0,0.0,0.14609540406598198,0.0,0.12326134023656878,0.06067569836679395,0.05326473445772986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434367559946429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04129878051967609,0.0,0.09822122585768983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054759738980769135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942780674805352,0.0,0.06927551348101038,0.0,0.18503737094782172,0.05451333914509845,0.0,0.05611430347846723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294635713724027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132109553846555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715680183302616,0.23021762394891104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904672004608529,0.0,0.11224260264145942,0.10304482119307704,0.3357636686027418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047494547315576605,0.057174055857931866,0.048112568595658566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035999901407939766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605807199062149,0.0,0.09547776446182316,0.1188417413604196,0.055929488953176835,0.02951697229019729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623942489333015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04566133269872855,0.0,0.10164120067334688,0.03585106585357302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05965841028301365,0.0541060029723676,0.054125875393874534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04286988140092569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556169888012217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03639449804846314,0.08169598173091991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163228734909314,0.0,0.07446989021306682,0.09379296990589504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790721045836365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05372337152409048,0.0,0.03440725637165789,0.05522162978438422,0.05303099720322135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042711423016546235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603003060957678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474939576106306,0.09101464685084268,0.04134768681443522,0.0,0.0,0.07603078274525972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296753762006145,0.11749750109014645,0.0,0.0,0.0558240465452916,0.0,0.0,0.09388778196382794,0.04944788123786585,0.0,0.12472019907879765,0.03568176487587161,0.1720722708895978,0.05276865980520331,0.08527763472352888,0.03131805485718562,0.0,0.0,0.10264219107693112,0.0,0.18232387442089606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04638719084120319,0.0,0.0,0.15839431849525393,0.12789472496721144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692774330528918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05824494282355992,0.0,0.1090878624296204,0.05473389353016511,0.07630643385906598,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lullanappe,2019/03/17,"Isolated family member with schizophrenia My cousin Jen has schizophrenia and is under her mother Karen's care. Jen is heavily meditated and apathetic and only leaves the house to go to appointments. Karen is very protective and unwilling to encourage her to do things because it will cause discomfort, but how else will Jen improve? Her mom will not take any constructive criticism on her care. Worse, Jen's parents are divorced and hate eachother. If her dad suggests ANYTHING, her mom is against it because she believes he is a terrible parent with bad intentions. And her dad has said in the past that Jen is too isolated. Now ""isolated"" is a trigger word for Karen. It's impossible to discuss it with Karen without her getting extremely defensive. I know she is just trying to protect her daughter and believes she is doing the right thing. Jen will not budge because her mom gives her all the validation she needs that it's fine to just stay home where it's comfortable. I just wish I wasn't so powerless in this situation.",6.8175558312655085,8.464148919354841,6.6749462365591405,72.69011166253101,65.18279569892474,10.669313482216708,36.88833746898264,10.727762888450028,4.430149379652606,833,42,137,23,13,263,109,186,0.138,0.718,0.14400000000000002,0.079,3,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,2,1,6,0,19,0,0,4,1,28,30,11,0,3,8,10,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,11,10,0,3,1,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,2,1,19,5,17,24,1,10,0,0,0,0,32,6,0,1,2,92,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303928596482444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258756484708074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423529445866833,0.2502045229639657,0.0,0.0,0.3082886146481513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789852040569284,0.14054728818358705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429186124745964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897755249191434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148049366343158,0.13124597104843844,0.07775544699574352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507706017299068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723718193958248,0.0,0.0,0.15786681003848954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519026469807807,0.0,0.0,0.14486794454540874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4807102609987922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144701894102318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405441368993744,0.0,0.0,0.3038350209804866,0.0,0.13060595205755515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683975772047725,0.13014294697476742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537864441997867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582720432306825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286828920529513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178838395307775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288879796820583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288718193652834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15733116487535825,0.13188533678606576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942676444007426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kateaclysm91,2019/03/17,"Incapable of stopping myself from doing things that I know are emotionally damaging!? Is this a symptom of depression, ADHD or anxiety? I've been diagnosed with all three and have been struggling with various medication for the past 6 months. 

Lately (but in reality, my whole life to some extent) I have really become aware that I have an almost unstoppable desire to only do what I want to do, not what I need to do. I'm talking more on an emotional level, not physical. For example, I become overpowered by my positive emotions and need to cling to them, so I don't stand up for myself, or I do something I know isn't logically or emotionally the best thing to do, or I convince myself I I'm in the wrong when I know I'm really not. It's turned me into a complete doormat with men, incapable of standing up to my somewhat irrational mother, being bossed around unreasonably by clients, being treated like shit by a boss....you get the picture. It's like I don't feel like I deserve NOT to be treated like that. 

How do I fix this. I don't even know what it's called. But it's something that is legitimatly ruining my life. ",4.130765511684125,5.770902753424661,6.029551437013161,74.77858984689769,71.69406392694063,9.536502820306207,30.69057211925866,9.916854025145753,3.2902992747784037,889,39,162,24,17,308,118,219,0.128,0.7559999999999999,0.116,-0.3779,1,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,1,5,14,1,1,9,0,22,6,1,2,1,34,35,11,0,4,10,1,1,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,15,7,0,1,6,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,2,1,25,8,29,30,8,15,0,3,0,0,5,8,1,7,9,124,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467994431395135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231464767634972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093443703042869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873856804470663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698080987204592,0.0,0.0,0.12818791136064298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472785599248094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128070974307545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052068136864522,0.12397873327938715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5496050448545614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067830770915232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06176223918729905,0.0872633189215263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381784675870916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26851973422805625,0.0,0.1377894696731191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255499887499792,0.238703459466742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305233574979127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749822108268744,0.0,0.0,0.18114397305059907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928998708192884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660510730983432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650364213511306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538426345520404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807264114355474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212209071416914,0.0,0.12769672777100974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695965218335195,0.0,0.09817879431173086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230082691169195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328631105073972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204668535685947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637507275206956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335508310899627,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,naviertokez,2019/03/17,Anxiety and weighted blankets Why does weighted blankets make my anxiety worst? I thought it was supposed to help. I keep waking up in the middle of the night like I forgot something and my chest feels tight.. almost like I’m about to have an anxiety attack..,3.6818750000000016,6.474045104166668,4.133166666666663,82.52850000000002,77.125,6.34,30.43333333333333,7.554174236665415,2.3253283333333337,207,10,34,3,5,65,36,48,0.171,0.6859999999999999,0.14300000000000002,-0.128,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,3,0,2,4,2,1,0,9,8,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,4,5,2,6,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349517158854976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5122252365234974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253913829524929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531736824754115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285289625641015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960131033877724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983838581923955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21808128317331246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489828088127327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094511569791935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718245852071318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719001161511286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5435769721628476,0.0,0.0,0.20139662665095276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Serenity_N_O_W_,2019/03/17,"New symptom has started I have intrusive thoughts and I very recently began shaking my head back and forth, as if to say ""no no no no no no."" It's becoming something I do without thinking. I have also started simply moving my head from side to side, or shaking my head quickly. I don't do this in public. 

Something about it feels nice.

My guess is it's a side effect from my medications. I recently started taking Trintellix.

Does anyone else experience this? :l 

Any advice? Thanks y'all.",1.1683870967741932,3.768372720430112,3.19574193548387,83.19361290322581,95.98924731182795,5.490752688172043,26.63010752688172,7.03164865440522,1.9472313978494613,385,19,66,7,15,129,60,93,0.192,0.7490000000000001,0.059,-0.8662,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,4,4,0,2,1,0,7,5,3,1,0,10,17,6,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,0,3,8,2,0,0,2,2,12,2,8,15,0,16,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,9,46,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15767506125917946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290362084849475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972750563130122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282375637871946,0.1653281281954114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407268253262753,0.0,0.0,0.1782048503129129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120358461959698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479210119243512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783697515362174,0.0,0.0,0.08158636187393553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17775165129029594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4967929349057893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625490352360801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714957242029601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558384775955516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186388555589024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831664184185612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24843922048215314,0.0,0.0,0.3426254862089245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771050180042724,0.12131951213946145,0.0,0.0,0.1485547803963321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339030823722152,0.0,0.12809851485983728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313546813251834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555412736115617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kimivxn,2019/03/17,"Why do I “hate” everyone?? 2 personalities ? Idk I’d thought I ask here I’m sure there’s many questions like this but my own personal experience I want to know why I’m to myself and have a I hate everyone attitude and it’s strong sometimes. Like for instance I met a cool male friend coworker he’s really cool we hung out and he is hilarious but for some reason I have a great time with him then when I’m home I’m thinking things like “ugh thank that is over” and then like to be alone I start to wonder why I even hung out with said person in beginning and sometimes feel that way in person after promising hanging out. People befriend me but I reject friendships why? Like not respond or just ignore or just lack communication. Sometime I feel like a kind soul loving soft and good vibes then other times I feel devious and angry and violent secretive manipulative and irritable with everything. Other times I feel suicidal because I feel so alone. Im sensitive to feedback from peers as well. Idk, I’m looking for a therapist accepted by my insurance but I thought I’d post to See anyone have similar experience and what they did about it. Thanks ",2.400582120582122,5.153940783783785,4.1111711711711685,80.79548856548855,82.60360360360359,7.739708939708938,26.106029106029105,8.617729084823388,2.418982120582121,922,39,170,24,26,308,131,222,0.173,0.546,0.28,0.9837,0,2,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,1,1,9,26,3,0,5,2,8,1,0,2,1,46,36,22,1,2,9,0,6,6,1,0,0,1,1,5,9,17,0,1,14,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,5,11,21,20,23,30,3,19,1,1,2,1,18,6,0,5,16,97,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20799955655378416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021258503303003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387457996410832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121212370382621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663232381744256,0.0,0.0,0.19190189623175968,0.0902466329452764,0.19645050643643006,0.0,0.0,0.25386450311849984,0.07173658011751645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758047081075194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842234365270767,0.0,0.11070802171252556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982782793590606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072455035746984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846555838945633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456689274436322,0.0551855225816807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29434652594001004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432340863762956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062856415271263,0.0,0.0,0.10180516852751273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961519914041653,0.3507144301831827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616992541241584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248791285426783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432849564663504,0.10324346506485736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551777172166384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001784798292423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979393569098331,0.0,0.07107433711087015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098378406828458,0.0,0.09464006002691436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18489749828269209,0.0,0.11658969109342708,0.06671134227291955,0.06434195280938489,0.0,0.15943677388315786,0.17565858786703967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05922743805964616,0.07970484645653464,0.0,0.0,0.09028525014380204,0.0,0.3624361004493549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889591167606788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,c-is-for-celery,2019/03/17,"Feeling Disoriented/getting lost Over the past few months, I’ve noticed that sometimes, when I begin to feel incredibly stressed, I become really disoriented. I start to feel disconnected from everything else. I’ve gotten lost on mg university campus, in parking lots, on my drive home,etc. Am I just distracted? What is happening to me and why do I feel so out of control? ",5.172587064676616,7.789520910447763,6.376940298507464,69.23217661691542,71.23880597014927,9.839800995024877,33.5547263681592,10.125756701596842,4.152365174129352,299,15,48,9,6,100,53,67,0.194,0.784,0.023,-0.8846,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,9,13,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,3,4,7,0,10,10,2,11,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,1,5,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267245208798384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23024800236385626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149182251537792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289504394965677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18449966092121015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151992221023579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725453237741607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815355432938844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20592065078664226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44819231056286013,0.17452855764493064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638589617319938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337218038309144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19597067109801786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151278055517665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20303512914540933,0.0,0.1453039373236992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23515676593431334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18524053323701226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,username0127409124,2019/03/17,"How? How do you start to like yourself? I feel like I have no self respect or love.. I don’t even like who I am. How do normal people do it? What is normal? Is there such thing as normal? I just feel so lost in life, I hate feeling so alone. I’m extremely self destructive, I’m afraid I won’t make it to 30... I’m not referring to suicide either. I am a recovering heroin addict and after 3 months I feel worse than I have in my whole life. Anyone out there have a similar feeling that you overcame? How did you start to love yourself and thrive in this absolutely fucking beautiful & terrible world? Please help...  if you made it this far, thank you for taking the time, sincerely. ",1.3234549878345518,3.6636630000000032,3.044992700729928,89.49897323600977,83.23357664233578,6.281070559610707,21.542092457420924,7.554174236665415,0.9071298296836988,529,17,110,9,15,175,84,137,0.158,0.623,0.219,0.8222,0,1,0,0,0,1,26.0,0,5,0,1,11,14,3,1,3,0,13,6,0,6,0,23,32,11,1,4,5,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,2,9,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,5,16,8,12,28,2,11,0,1,0,3,11,6,1,2,8,72,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991697469601032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192966209954806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15894175650102255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257112559223833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688931392103976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708618308317411,0.10479747705243984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561527401136614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482892407952014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832519622891824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20722714604916934,0.21500030561208414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013269005506328,0.0,0.26479224006861635,0.13880442182191002,0.09791868719648733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708891791928107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4311838529478567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169842530083806,0.0,0.0,0.1610248145822739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30606549123403365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20766005851385866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045828459613756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029484672248442,0.0,0.0,0.1350551650328992,0.0,0.0,0.09745628171193876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553784229702506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377744662808486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949265445874987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AltAccount935,2019/03/17,I feel like everyone hates me I genuinely feel like any and all of my friends and even people in my classes secretly hate me and think I’m super weird. My week essentially consists of me going to class twice a week and then staying home every single other day. I have no friends at my college and anyone I try to talk to just ignores me. I seriously feel like none of my friends ever want to have me around and I fucking hate this feeling. I have massive social anxiety and I honestly feel like I’m mentally slow most of the time so I feel like people see me as a complete weirdo and only laugh at my jokes so it’s not awkward. Not sure if any of this made sense just needed to vent. ,3.1344220779220784,4.595905364285716,4.545064935064937,85.14538961038964,73.92857142857143,7.376623376623378,27.72727272727273,8.00094639256281,1.7349285714285716,541,21,110,8,11,180,82,140,0.13699999999999998,0.614,0.249,0.9475,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,21,4,1,3,0,3,1,0,1,3,30,21,13,0,3,5,0,6,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,1,8,1,0,1,4,8,0,1,1,7,21,13,15,20,4,13,0,0,1,1,6,4,1,2,12,70,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765801491138285,0.0,0.09430254041414507,0.0,0.0,0.0861944638241443,0.0,0.0,0.1097379799140436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924806955665555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950007152139685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141981883783847,0.11150634239634348,0.1038617540081786,0.11779142617204448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739793608793314,0.44032676313643054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857183116792386,0.11396273329634456,0.0,0.0,0.07005816820639765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651159539836398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365160188740976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011217168779105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166426969215714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242289157813538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140443006387544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937537098501509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092220037466074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823161332125067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566001058803825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313912684482863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618215205247345,0.0,0.0,0.0990811517191964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898755075310736,0.0,0.0,0.07188074042178788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369341678278681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270886358659692,0.0,0.19776230151186505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DoriDoriMai,2019/03/18,"Struggles breathing So since the past 3-4 months I've been having this weird episodes where I just can't breath.  I feel the air coming into my lungs but it burns as if it isn't  enough.

I suspected it could be some health problem and went to the doctor. Did a battery of exams and found absolutely nothing, the doctor then told me to seek a psychologist.

My throat usually starts hurting from gasping from air, and I feel dizzy and light-headed. The only thing I found that calms me down a little is singing, I breath along with the singer and it makes me feel a little better.


This thing usually goes away on it's own but it's pretty terrifying and it hurts. I though it could be because of stress but it started when I was at vacations, and it had never happened before even though I went through some pretty stressful situations a couple of months before that.

I'm gonna mark the appointment tomorrow but I'd really appreciate if any of you could give me some hints on what to do when I have it.

Thanks in advance <3",3.2510945273631826,5.390775726368163,3.969975124378113,86.48889303482588,75.31840796019901,6.854726368159205,24.101990049751247,7.793537801064563,1.2220169154228857,815,26,160,12,18,259,123,201,0.14,0.745,0.115,-0.6356,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,2,8,10,0,3,12,0,15,8,5,1,1,33,32,20,0,6,7,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,18,11,0,0,6,1,0,4,3,7,0,0,9,3,17,3,20,17,5,28,0,2,0,0,3,12,0,5,12,110,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809480703798148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078955030023223,0.0,0.0,0.07000510138727316,0.0,0.1954399349250814,0.0,0.0,0.10156621715283164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892407209625692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750700203084042,0.12706773715027056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350862159963724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865991574433266,0.0,0.07585041543727243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419892535108467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518311976497477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101645254179552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015522023209185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785847181490645,0.1220690324677568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458761482446548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23019872343738565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766562668508386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332760771772955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857131226487881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019161022090353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734062470812833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962730977753668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23366614109073405,0.0,0.10988590478389132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356913283425183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949964320953313,0.12908442450192775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256799713579242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630965488960394,0.12005519360085175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572879464337176,0.0,0.0,0.1525885395544575,0.0,0.22565847743049144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973407626824896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529589989242927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129147586573883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SecReflex,2019/03/18,"Mental Illness and Chronic Illness I have endometriosis , panic disorder, and depression, and I have to keep on pretending I am fine. My family thinks that I am well-adjusted and functioning very well and I don't want to disappoint them.  I am struggling with my depression and my panic disorder, which I have had for a long time.  My endometriosis is getting to the point where the only way to end my pain will be to have surgery (but the surgery might not even be successful). I'm really worried that I won't be able to have the quality of life I had when I was younger and it's freaking me out. I was looking forward to law school, getting married, and having kids, but now I am pretty sure I am infertile and my grades have taken a hit. I see a therapist and a team of doctors but I am still so overwhelmed with everything. On top of it, I see all of the shit that is going on in the world and I get mad at myself for being upset when other people have it a lot worse than I do. I know that isn't a valid way of looking at things, but I still get caught up in that thought process. I really just felt the need to vent because I've been trying to have a positive face for my friends and family but I am struggling so much with my health right now. ",5.190564304461944,5.1148059566929165,6.065968503937008,81.73270603674544,68.1732283464567,9.922939632545932,31.89396325459317,9.725611199111238,2.7939698687664047,979,38,204,20,15,324,130,254,0.155,0.7240000000000001,0.121,-0.6004,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,3,12,18,2,6,14,0,33,9,2,0,2,35,53,21,0,2,7,0,1,0,1,3,7,0,0,1,11,16,0,1,4,2,0,3,4,13,1,0,9,5,33,5,30,36,3,28,0,4,4,0,4,15,1,2,10,154,44,5,0.11984724124419965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305776588058811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20644850653949248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27471064308779714,0.12266872977587542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614908319653904,0.0,0.0,0.07915797253554194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771097263556056,0.0,0.22596262582741425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507214615161715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259368129133268,0.0,0.250460948150515,0.0,0.06811194907983695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739201313292553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652573466595107,0.0,0.0,0.065864909511681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465165079477761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606103712837398,0.20128299669223948,0.0,0.0,0.10188983872791428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077783080217942,0.1271389836576081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810151211480337,0.08886521080369426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911492274897382,0.12752591454261195,0.28122983013880426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308698690375876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329438102755172,0.0,0.0,0.121927730206322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355442321007162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023488891883456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129180647797168,0.19100546919399086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302147088603675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142032334122105,0.0,0.0,0.250580716348602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295460653881753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915188430982767,0.07962118172760098,0.07679327296978038,0.0,0.09514532248114042,0.06988389015547654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136840982528258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888652544493788,0.0706890080207786,0.19025832333949053,0.0,0.0,0.2155141259071828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121710691007015,0.122134577664104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pettygoon,2019/03/18,"Abandonment issues, self destructive behaviors affecting every friendship I’ve ever had... please help? Hi all,
I’ve lately been worried about my mental health, because I’ve had a rough childhood. My father was an abusive alcoholic, my mom would leave us to be with men. My grandmother raised me well, but I have a habit of always toying with friendships and relationships until they are at the point of giving up and then I beg for them back. In my current relationship, I’m scared of being left, and I accuse him of cheating all the time and pick fight after fight. My boyfriend has depression, and for a while thought I might have it. But my mood swings are so bad I thought it was due to a birth control I was on, only to get it out and realize it was not that at all. I go from loving and being obsessive with my boyfriend, to hating him and picking fight after fight, to going back to being apologetic and guilty. 

I opened up to him about this today and admitted I know he’s not cheating, I know it would be stupid for me to even think so, but my impulse will always win. I’m incredibly impulsive, and will even lead people on knowing it’s wrong, ruin the friendship , and try to save it. I’m so impulsive it scares me, and I don’t know why my mood swings are all over the place. I’m 17, turning 18 in a month. I graduated high school early, have a really good job which I’ve gotten a $2 raise in just three months (I’ve gotten two raises, each a $1 raise) but still, I don’t know why I am the way I am. It’s almost like I’m scared of my own emotions because they’re so unstable. ",4.43659546061415,5.013657252336452,5.406319537160659,83.52747663551406,69.93457943925233,8.481886960391634,27.435246995994657,8.563005593585519,1.7940424566088118,1242,39,256,19,21,409,170,321,0.234,0.655,0.11,-0.9939,2,0,1,0,4,0,42.0,1,0,2,3,14,26,9,4,14,0,28,3,0,5,5,52,51,24,0,2,7,2,1,1,0,5,2,0,0,2,12,19,1,2,10,1,0,3,4,18,1,2,11,1,35,6,37,30,6,39,0,3,0,1,22,16,0,2,20,167,47,4,0.0,0.13022938453503174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746397859495535,0.11006237514682177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182913477651026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903321246412498,0.09177308290911182,0.13400435501139996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327720407000654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466823488385044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363776084576175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451935044246116,0.09942294670503322,0.09260676488465856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05742520560256295,0.10543893145802853,0.12493261592383355,0.0921901300407669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851670931578976,0.0,0.11683278531527999,0.0,0.0,0.07367262309932683,0.11612952277697627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472101444503205,0.10907207175062916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020276013991213,0.0,0.123987082418558,0.11638240132911545,0.1194212111766345,0.0,0.0,0.053698126519953635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920111858604252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076683718179804,0.11660072886494854,0.0,0.1287292246147409,0.17546362580130118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359407991967609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620009971340502,0.0,0.1148360903493638,0.12065188709859713,0.10390367316205318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041332702072338,0.0,0.0,0.23601167672824835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33012740986641703,0.11123821060867416,0.0,0.0,0.11466362867406887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777696886919732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042805709628247,0.0,0.17451789577409724,0.064091376961066,0.0,0.10418503432898596,0.0,0.0,0.07462397149375076,0.11955419722527864,0.10736940320319667,0.0,0.1322122653030065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724412660774064,0.0,0.0,0.09882533051052143,0.0,0.19835946269630453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162237477289493,0.0,0.156158626048704,0.1201730287568447,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Queen_of_crying,2019/03/18,"I think its time MODS PLEASE REMOVED THIS IF NOT ALLOWED

A little background: 
I'm an 18 year old high school student that takes all college classes. For a little over a year now I've been dealing with terrible stress issues from school, depression and isolation. Then, since about October of last year I have made serious plans about killing myself and think about it almost daily. Sometime during December I essentially came out and told my parents this and at the beginning of February this year I started seeing a therapist. 
Where I am now: 
I've had a total of 3 full sessions with her (my therapist) now and I don't think it'll work out. I'm having serious trouble communicating what I feel and when I do I'm told things I already know. Such as today I told her about how hard it is to find any motivation to do homework and she retorted with how I should just get up and do it because its what I have to do. She is very clinical in her talks and it makes me think she doesn't actually care about how I am and how serious my feelings are. Every session I cry (I cry at everything so its not shocking to me that I do this). I don't expect to be coddled, but every session when I do start crying she'll stop me in the middle of it and 10 or so minutes when my time should end, she will push me out of the room and basically says ""See you next time."" Then today its actually effected me harder than it should and ive been anxious about it since then. 
So honestly I think its time to kill myself. I don't think this will work out and I don't have any other options. I'm moving away on my own soon to college so once I think I've distanced myself away from my parents enough I'll kill myself so no one will miss me. This plan is the only solace I find in life. I dont think anything else in my life will work out. Its time to end this cycle and move on to something else.

TL:DR - therapy isnt working and i dont think anythong else will. I think its time I kill myself. I really just needed to vent and spell this out.",3.5095100401606416,4.5596417542168695,4.846445783132534,84.95464859437755,72.42168674698793,7.9429718875502004,27.086345381526108,8.344100000000001,1.6986321285140566,1588,55,333,25,30,529,187,415,0.142,0.833,0.025,-0.9921,3,1,1,0,0,5,34.0,0,1,0,8,27,15,4,1,10,0,39,3,0,9,2,68,72,36,4,6,7,2,3,0,0,10,3,1,2,0,29,27,0,1,17,0,0,5,11,13,0,1,8,6,56,2,47,53,5,61,0,2,2,0,17,25,0,4,31,230,85,15,0.0,0.0,0.136381546059821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997264623797854,0.0,0.07711202587393153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503876798183132,0.0,0.0,0.07894216325399163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750357680725611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313052181706977,0.0,0.0,0.04259693339823379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992172844767799,0.07124519982009171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302728522564442,0.0,0.07204107048810955,0.06018575285754961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16379281112952265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175122114878692,0.0,0.12378219817444415,0.07220257421011722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775032820932152,0.0,0.06280177161611036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066475513143163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773431171581084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03650833076617785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259689376275797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382986242318325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072934396964593,0.0,0.0,0.30923827497293993,0.0,0.03840307912420365,0.05695983388876385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871368738128347,0.0,0.1400720732675552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612018050770598,0.046644056345814235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14853834732347934,0.0,0.05181359463157045,0.0,0.0,0.07431596406911915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332512566468148,0.07441770763745968,0.04735108921401719,0.053145309412103034,0.0,0.0,0.15518232843401533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767049757251986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044765586927300184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05556972922173632,0.0,0.1414403777618509,0.11136731532761904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560748033629233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053795439204477234,0.06911105281696273,0.0,0.09891990739887063,0.0,0.0,0.058421072720033565,0.08004492493076502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05253950183026007,0.05616522773808658,0.0,0.0,0.07991149509861954,0.1622673093473125,0.04642378718071998,0.4477495163858122,0.0,0.0,0.244478273761718,0.0,0.13247220116173006,0.20031405050568624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05765660484671339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20348784132156866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999636600793165
mentalhealth,warmrococoa,2019/03/18,"Heart racing? New to this subreddit and on mobile, so I apologize for any jankyness (is that a word?).

I've struggled with depression for a while now and anxiety has been a bigger issue for now but lately I've been putting effort to go out and hang out with friends-you know, the healthy social stuff. I came home today from having lunch with a friend who I'm planning a trip with, and laid down since it was a school day but my heart starting racing the second I got on my bed.

It happens occasionally but this is the most recent example, and I lay down trying to calm down but it seems to just spiral until I get distracted by something. Life's a bit hectic, university and what not, but I can't seem to identify the source when I do feel it. Is this a physical symptom of my anxiety? And if so is it something I can work on myself or by brining it up to my counselor? 

I'm not sure if I'm trying too hard to be social and it's taking its toll, but if I don't I feel like I'm asocial and back to square one where I was ignoring all my friends. Honestly I feel like the walls are caving in at some points but everytime I try to see ""the walls"" it just stops. I thought I was okay, and that I was doing better. What can I do? 

Thank you.

Tl;dr: Heart's trying tap dance while I just want a nap.",2.25547474747475,3.6962698740740763,3.924511784511786,88.7848484848485,76.18518518518519,6.983164983164983,23.38383838383839,7.686295010490155,0.9570000000000001,1006,30,220,14,22,337,146,270,0.095,0.785,0.12,0.8972,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,4,11,14,0,2,15,1,21,6,3,0,2,48,42,27,0,4,16,0,4,2,2,0,2,0,2,0,18,17,1,2,7,2,0,6,4,4,0,2,9,6,25,10,32,32,4,36,0,1,2,0,7,16,0,8,16,152,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224277119245935,0.0,0.18503624197739735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929947434971554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696085277631126,0.13203423206534806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832217242725234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799574861212899,0.0,0.10416471522980238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345140865325155,0.17279791007754336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687457914733255,0.0,0.06318571584167397,0.0,0.06873250767053436,0.0,0.09672608862327624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694609355405243,0.0,0.1083377261808227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4299404356675818,0.0,0.0,0.1213118311937842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622905471093085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06646499563423597,0.0,0.13642463227658985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542290033068273,0.118169522526485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680378754746842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195149997497064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432659053519605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157725234209014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194128233389932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239687942784262,0.0963728468634906,0.2201969253940916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000421170784965,0.0,0.0,0.2465644724302983,0.0,0.1862097370006932,0.0,0.0,0.08560135493486035,0.0,0.0,0.10111054717060876,0.0,0.12643186137817325,0.13844639569933856,0.0,0.0,0.11398372040787373,0.1257020866991298,0.09093119196195658,0.0,0.0,0.1113445233571077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601217841505506,0.0,0.0,0.11463617596124985,0.0,0.0,0.3284389848189501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133304584068821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804514373259012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ReyesGamer,2019/03/18,"“Learn More About The Positive and Negative Impact of Gaming” by Reese Sizemore, IB Awareness Project 

[Click here](https://hopscotchadoptions.org/Positive-and-Adverse-Impact-of-Gaming-by-Reese-Sizemore.mp4) to view the video.

Please Like and Share. Thank you!",10.563918918918919,15.167272891891894,5.87695945945946,69.40300675675678,63.32432432432433,9.105405405405406,33.57432432432432,9.516144504307137,4.231870270270272,215,9,25,5,4,56,28,37,0.094,0.5589999999999999,0.34700000000000003,0.8383,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,4,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,11,1,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227544793227493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7251824136796436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6082269419935846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,isaacswan,2019/03/18,"A Cell Tower is Causing Cancer In School Children [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r61b1AY29QE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r61b1AY29QE)

After several school children developed cancer parents hired a specialist to measure the electromagnetic radiation coming off of the cell tower in the middle of the school grounds.  Should we be concerned?",17.462857142857143,23.38029552380952,9.29547619047619,47.12035714285716,46.14285714285714,9.914285714285716,41.45238095238096,10.125756701596842,5.86869523809524,300,13,23,6,4,74,30,42,0.197,0.8029999999999999,0.0,-0.8844,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,3,2,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,17,1,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793325409151626,0.0,0.23423147826165866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30193043752871995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8255802494938388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071875790403051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,samw10020,2019/03/18,"Desperate for help Hey Reddit,

I'm a 23 year old male, who is struggling a bit with my mental health. This isn't anything new but I have never really spoken out about my issues except to my auntie who is always there for me when I need her. I suffer from strong depression and anxiety. These are the only elements I can really categorize as there are a multitude of things I deal with every day but don't really know how to explain them. Please bear with me and I will try and break my issues down.

When I was in school, I always felt as if I was lagging behind my peers, mentally, physically.. even sexually. I always told myself “I’ll get there in the end” but never really did. I was bullied a fair bit but no more than anyone else really. I am a very easily embarrassed person and this is what I believe to have caused my overwhelming social anxiety as in school this would happen to me more or less every day. I’m one of those “Red faces” someone who goes completely red when embarrassed and this draws even more attention, thus causing even more embarrassment. This has lead to me being very apprehensive and awkward around new people. I sweat buckets around groups and new people. I lose my chain of thought when talking, I come across as not a very intelligent person when I talk, I always assume the person I am talking to is smarter and knows more about subjects than I do, and sometimes I’m right and it makes me feel so stupid for not knowing something. I sometimes say “how could I be so stupid? how don’t I know that?! I shouldn’t have opened my mouth!”

Of course this has lead my to constantly think I am inferior and doubt myself. I strive to be successful but feel completely incapable of learning. I am very forgetful and clumsy, negative and angry and find myself day dreaming when people are talking to me, even when it’s a topic I am interested in and understand. I feel like I am backseat driving in my own consciousness and everything feels almost like a dream, always a bad one. I always kind of shrugged this off and got on with life, but the more I dwelled on these issues the more I felt like it was something bigger. I have never spoken to a doctor because I feel like I have to completely explain from the begining and part of me feels like I have no idea what I'd be talking about anyway or maybe they might misdiagnose me. 

I felt like I should throw this in as it just sprung to mind, I often play out scenarios in my head that more than likely won't happen, I feel I need to be wealthy and successful, moreso than my class mates who I went to school with because of the way I was treated sometimes, I wanted to ensure they were never right about me, that I wouldn't just be a face they couldn't put a name to, I wanted them to essentially worship me and be jealous of me, of the things I have achieved and the accolades I would accrue. I also get lost in the back of my imagination, often working and seemingly playing a video game inside my head with myself. Making up stories and they are so vivid I can see them in my vision sometimes not literally but I can see what's happening, almost like watching a film, only you're not, you're actually working or out for a walk.

I just feel as if one day I'm going to go completely crazy and never find myself, never learn to love life as I should and always compete and always be so negative and down on myself, always be so embarrassed and anxious and worrying about things that are so trivial to others but aren't to me. There's nobody I feel I can turn to that I can explain all this to and they would understand me and how I feel.

I'm sorry if this post ran away from me or you. I just had to get a few things off my chest. Thanks to those who read and stuck with it, I appreciate it more than you'd think.

Cheers,

Sam",6.097009172611878,5.943126691899074,6.690796503906856,78.28300843139074,66.27755644090307,9.820056209271442,29.99502764137249,9.471427190081453,2.4848698168566052,3001,94,587,53,43,986,292,753,0.159,0.73,0.111,-0.992,0,0,2,0,0,0,61.0,0,2,8,11,41,39,3,10,26,0,64,12,7,11,7,146,122,72,0,16,24,0,13,8,1,10,4,1,0,4,38,46,0,0,36,8,0,11,22,19,0,3,18,20,107,20,93,82,16,68,1,6,6,1,39,28,0,15,34,439,145,15,0.0,0.0,0.04931507948092905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120743488868383,0.0,0.0,0.040412992713253486,0.3784441201964003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731860141961787,0.05709040801692439,0.0,0.03533539692424363,0.051779299147931834,0.041586175587768746,0.08997410984163984,0.0,0.0,0.047479497464476716,0.038858460535825534,0.0421947931828088,0.06161159531822065,0.0,0.0,0.0569358813199361,0.0,0.0,0.11034273128021042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382717154822513,0.0,0.04353161252854856,0.21194084338383606,0.054610613823448284,0.0,0.040348256625997767,0.0,0.0,0.13036413050590506,0.05209958707249161,0.0435259061293781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05172493331855058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422156871102537,0.0,0.04475920032919471,0.0,0.0,0.13351213005998847,0.0,0.08515619542839188,0.0,0.045417792190640925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555212282370216,0.10830710183570873,0.14556519246730154,0.0,0.09237654091329847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920769131010118,0.0,0.05744065387793629,0.0,0.04041762745081732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406436964766633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372741880785352,0.053716569794565384,0.0,0.0,0.033872688988662886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057048105911962625,0.0,0.1582369031785966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052624649249400114,0.11109132893928687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138903289640514,0.19751162506397896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653597852798141,0.0551651561876856,0.0,0.045610004039929285,0.0,0.06746529607452321,0.0,0.050769415278679716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018552202507688,0.053609876485175664,0.051026160593237946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749424423250856,0.23385523654392765,0.1464216749730727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302820659500043,0.0,0.10273190745646332,0.07686861553972524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054724712595419715,0.0,0.10510426410434894,0.13237619999056618,0.0,0.055472489992329205,0.0,0.0,0.048398766190192316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080184841128923,0.0,0.0,0.05054888996603081,0.0,0.1618707619256582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631359398874346,0.0,0.04018763084122246,0.0,0.15343300481603575,0.08054004615184855,0.046005361237423915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051514287050872194,0.04281832318451357,0.07780895397436331,0.19992247697114424,0.056570035163476924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283037848246757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20309145555171426,0.0,0.046526035817119296,0.0,0.0,0.13429340380809265,0.06476184975474196,0.0,0.04011931541070577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04828856301668921,0.0,0.034310093372116685,0.05496780173608519,0.0,0.10521788086112308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678737748692285,0.05961395757353544,0.040112500985437685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0468466500573502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358047593751561,0.05132096328049418,0.0,0.10769629919203312,0.0,0.0,0.03254302122394929
mentalhealth,InsanityPractice,2019/03/18,"Celebrity crush driving me mad (embarrassing problem) I’ll preface this by saying that I’m NOT someone who typically “crushes” on people. I don’t think I’ve had a crush on a real person in 10 or so years.

BUT...recently, a “a celebrity crush” of mine, from long ago, is creeping to the surface. When my infatuation began, I was 12 and so was she. I was obsessed with her. But I got over it. Now, all these years later, I happened upon a film of hers and instantly all my feelings returned.

I think being her same age has something to do with it. It’s like she grew up alongside me, and all my emotions toward her are revitalized and redoubled.

And now there’s Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, etc, and it’s easier than ever to get in touch with celebrities. Right now I’m grappling with the temptation to send her messages and whatnot, because I feel like there’s a chance she’ll actually respond. Her career has slowed massively since childhood; there’s a chance she’d see my stuff and respond. This sounds conceited and horrible and I’m sorry in advance, but women tend to respond to my stuff after they see my picture. But I can’t let this go that far - me actually trying to establish contact with some celebrity crush. It’s ridiculous, it’s absurd. 

",5.0700393797686445,6.4013258242677855,5.938966281073103,77.52345311346298,69.0,8.301353679547132,33.72409549593896,8.671277953709913,2.9135850849126266,988,47,176,16,17,325,137,239,0.08199999999999999,0.8740000000000001,0.044,-0.7311,1,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,1,10,7,2,2,9,0,15,0,0,0,4,32,30,17,0,1,5,0,3,2,0,1,0,2,0,2,15,15,0,0,4,1,0,5,3,5,0,0,6,7,29,2,27,20,6,33,0,0,2,0,21,12,0,2,18,124,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.33356087425008146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149861525982014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418323266738017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922472087354489,0.0,0.0,0.19060632080356188,0.0,0.15459503518621953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17283128239336226,0.12209589154767732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929177795385826,0.0,0.09713030439518114,0.0,0.13668982479103906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511323676792582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17476383879867713,0.0,0.1669929132841934,0.0,0.0,0.15124718878140544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848529425844227,0.1492292738296966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353477901036245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19452941756000874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595352057419747,0.0,0.13591199100289034,0.0,0.0,0.2723812725166716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413759167750902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480882384942886,0.13157244693385228,0.0,0.19131623211501034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39129492033526747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190204238705324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160345361019944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22011682277420475
mentalhealth,ZSebra,2019/03/18,"I'm tired of this I just started the year and i already feel awful. I feel so overwhelmed, i look forward and i still have a solid 7 or so years to spend inside a classroom or stressing out about class stuff. This isn't the life i wanna live man.  
I know what my parents will say if i tell them this and it isn't what i need, i know that i can't change that but it doesn't make me like, in fact it makes me dislike it more.

Right now there are only TWO subjects that don't make me wanna die on the spot, maths and philosophy, they're the only ones that make me use my brain for something, all others are either awful or have teachers whose souls have abandoned them. I don't want my life to be a grind, i don't want this, i want to think, i want to feel, i want to be alive.

Idk why but today i'm feeling specially shitty, i really needed an outlet and playing the guitar at midnight isn't acceptable for some reason.  Thank you for reading, i hope tomorrow will be a better day",1.7375134843581428,3.392182762135924,3.1937216828478974,92.54898597626757,78.1747572815534,5.548651564185546,21.153182308522112,6.139981653823899,0.10059848975188768,763,20,168,5,18,250,119,206,0.194,0.706,0.099,-0.9507,1,0,1,0,0,1,19.0,0,1,2,1,7,10,0,2,10,2,18,4,1,6,2,42,43,13,1,11,8,1,4,1,0,2,3,1,0,1,17,6,0,1,9,3,1,1,8,3,0,2,0,6,28,7,16,38,4,14,1,2,1,0,8,6,0,6,10,112,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949010382483385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980867187791445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122486159470386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330506992294598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736436566082068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059232467325375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27398272737962986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345483078839641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889714594857434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913672894508781,0.06618184682929619,0.0,0.11961896325241499,0.0,0.1137573252497052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616984379244225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20089265074359305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179527009697408,0.2060560005207692,0.0,0.0,0.15041896595549567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135502662875226,0.0,0.08678299087203763,0.13928161378960724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568722711483323,0.0,0.10772800346934693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428834803442084,0.0,0.0,0.09588353476522522,0.0,0.10818332566374483,0.0,0.15517584971913298,0.0,0.15507616445159386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184032582713328,0.12471889591412208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680114539003693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556982435721893,0.1284059320263948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323306017819156,0.0,0.0,0.11699913285348745,0.0,0.0,0.3995067943714079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222369980862384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744713301049123
mentalhealth,nehcole,2019/03/18,"medication and episode? I have Bipolar, and Depression. 

I was off my medication for about a month, and decided this past Spring break to take them again. Since ive taken them my mood has drastically changed. I’m slowly isolating myself. I wanted to quickly ask reddit before consulting my professional. ",5.094679487179487,8.488423211538464,5.943846153846152,67.8844871794872,76.5,9.620512820512822,31.743589743589745,9.725611199111238,4.280220512820514,245,12,36,8,6,80,41,52,0.076,0.924,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,5,9,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,10,0,5,7,0,7,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,25,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862755271854441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605717251799367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239414736539753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637479095527977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6169713763278004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444228761866468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923228279473004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533093782139048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23024026648755724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180617224182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alrightyheregoes,2019/03/18,"not sure if my therapist is the right one for me or if I’m just too fucked up to be helped. Not sure if I’m expecting too much/expecting a savior. Not sure if I need to give her more time and am simply being too harsh. Advice? Please? I have no idea if this is the right subreddit. I don’t use reddit much and this is an alt account for soon-to-be obvious reasons. I apologize for the terrible formatting and grammar but I suffer from a few chronic conditions (combined with the mental stuff) and my brain is a little off today. 

I’ve started seeing a therapist recently. This is not the first therapist I’ve seen but I’m trying my hardest with this one. I can’t live like this anymore need help sorting everything below the surface out vs. just figuring out the surface stuff (though id like that stuff figured out too).

I’m unsure if this therapist is right for me or if it’s my mental problems (anxiety, depression) telling me that she can’t help me


Here’s what’s happening and a background of my mental health:

At first I thought my therapist was a god-send. It’s really hard to get mental health services in my area and I had reached my limit. I was borderline suicidal. I’ve been on depression meds for years but hadn’t been actively taking care of myself in recent times. She’s the only therapist who had availability and she made me sit down and call a psychiatrist she had connections with and get in for some new medications ASAP and she held me accountable. However, at the next session things first started getting weird.

I suffer from CF/POTS. These conditions changed the entire direction of my life ~middle/high school and I’d venture to say I haven’t recovered (mentally) from the effects although I’d like to. She has forgotten the name of my illnesses multiple times despite having notes in front of her. Not sure if I’m being too harsh but my instinct is to think: “Bitch I’m paying you? Help me!!!!” with a smile on my face as I never make another appointment. I don’t feel it’s too much for her to remember these conditions that effect my life daily but I’m not sure if I’m thinking illogically and expecting too much?

I would like to figure out my career path... and I tell her about my dreams. She tells me what to do. Not suggests. Tells. Like: “oh here’s 3 jobs that look good for you apply tomorrow.” Next session: why didn’t you apply.” As someone who is recovering and is trying to take life one step at a time... and has a hard time with emotion... it’s hard for me to verbalize why this is such a problem for me... but it just doesn’t feel right. but I’m unsure. 

I would like to develop healthy habits and healthy coping mechanisms. I have unhealthy thought patterns and need help and she agrees and tells me to stop them but doesn’t detail how to stop those thought patterns.

I would like to work through some feelings regarding old relationships, and past abuse(?).  I have difficult deciding if certain situations were abuse or if it was my fault and I need someone to help me sift through these past events in a nonjudgemental way. The feelings regarding these relationships have led me to lash out to my friends and drink too much.  I don’t feel comfortable talking to her about these issues at present. She said some weird stuff like: “are you lonely bc you don’t have a boyfriend” and when I told her a few of my guy friends were pursuing me but I wasn’t interested she went on a rant about how wonderful dating for dating’s sake can be even if you don’t like the people you’re dating. I don’t want to date at present. I want to focus on myself and my own needs and my own wants and my own health. I’d like to date again someday, but I just... what the fuck lady. Should I have just come out and told her my story?

TLDR; not sure if my therapist is the right one for me or if I’m just too fucked up to be helped. Not sure if I’m expecting too much/expecting a savior. Not sure if I need to give her more time and am simply being too harsh. Advice? Please?

",3.0406577621429487,5.011293063211124,4.126887264332435,85.89308067205336,75.3843236409608,7.821916854467835,26.25517140292054,8.630970670014445,1.900705366532916,3147,117,635,64,69,1022,298,791,0.153,0.721,0.126,-0.9748,2,2,1,0,2,0,96.0,0,6,1,7,29,41,4,0,33,0,59,15,2,9,11,151,116,65,1,34,47,0,8,10,2,4,9,2,0,1,33,40,1,4,20,2,3,5,26,16,0,7,23,13,93,25,82,83,14,76,0,5,3,3,55,34,4,25,45,418,126,8,0.0,0.10846685706559316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945754057515345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799690044525196,0.03501616056465515,0.0,0.04539443974791982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109771972594978,0.04673927177644311,0.0,0.046668545278246466,0.0,0.04842168292311255,0.03942931987777137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884830246614896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04484003829331936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148837714870631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03023258373581677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0411377514502249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572082514874933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680327394701312,0.0,0.0,0.07072809303676493,0.12694898832947682,0.07174338867868907,0.08781911661826519,0.0,0.038392155862874484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04532238986243985,0.04047684435905018,0.0,0.12301064401061686,0.0,0.0,0.1459634291133278,0.0,0.0,0.2147643765470106,0.04836160591988918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051672058207092406,0.0,0.04777503909988092,0.045422562882654005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699230686634136,0.22362337942106927,0.04587649350420716,0.0404183293257823,0.0,0.03843772684654068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043311446183347015,0.030553781321865755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05084339833136877,0.04611140404499805,0.23064170077863666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018901892213276,0.20364025308637626,0.03530289978244863,0.04420777395405196,0.09736004510659424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04803098251891316,0.0,0.12406766808368,0.034812370305482794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739086802557093,0.031733181238273116,0.0,0.0,0.10048984750517104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759701047418406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0293233063518594,0.04706218798515721,0.09039047812109698,0.09828597784168916,0.051851798499106,0.19544912935113148,0.04354053136306839,0.03640046530619948,0.0,0.046324641452473975,0.03647509313615573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051450682903268,0.0,0.0,0.07756649769703676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479662053052826,0.0,0.0,0.07653642587355737,0.0,0.0,0.2095961815738994,0.050068148166593884,0.0,0.3451235034093621,0.0,0.06883108269058537,0.03679054140316599,0.20003775973036486,0.0,0.0,0.3720212382591345,0.030409495930982418,0.058658881248225374,0.0449716641318608,0.10901576316993808,0.16014335586688494,0.0,0.04338737861383413,0.0874759783536299,0.0,0.062153619773133564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039533108747351886,0.0,0.0,0.080994167197642,0.036332415469677436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04243195790419906,0.08260588639309842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496387821049472,0.03332323286435003,0.0,0.0,0.09754731294895194,0.0,0.0,0.02947626148208257
mentalhealth,MyLifelines,2019/03/18,"I’m so afraid This year has been terrible. It’s pretty much been a constant fear for the future (and with good reasons). I’m afraid if I say too much I will jinx myself and bad things will happen. I pray daily, and sometimes I pray several times per day. This year has just been filled with bad news, tears, and some of the worst things I’ve ever experienced in my life. I walk around with a heavy heart. I feel no joy. I’ve stopped doing things I normally enjoy. I barely ever go to school anymore. I keep thinking all day... which brings tears to my eyes. I’m so afraid of the future. I’m so afraid that I just decided to call my doctor’s office tomorrow morning (in about five hours) to try to get an appointment today. I fear time is running out and I have to deal with this now. 

This post is esoteric, I know... I have a small family. I have very few people I’m close with, and the close ones are all family members. One of them ended up ill shortly before the year ended. Didn’t last very long. I miss that person every single day. Another one is too close for me to feel comfortable. My one and only true friend. Doctor’s verdict? Prepare for the worst. This has all happened in just a few months. I have tears in my eyes this very moment. I don’t know how to cope with this. ",1.168415435139572,3.418077432950195,2.6484222769567616,92.67719827586208,83.09961685823754,5.567651888341544,18.13368910782704,6.868970318607317,0.04752753147235912,994,23,213,12,28,323,137,261,0.145,0.75,0.106,-0.8617,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,0,14,18,0,6,11,0,19,7,3,2,6,41,36,12,0,2,4,0,2,0,1,2,4,1,0,1,14,18,0,2,7,0,0,5,3,12,0,5,4,6,26,6,28,30,11,42,2,1,2,0,6,12,0,2,24,135,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495222918481555,0.0,0.0,0.10871935465023108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759022051907967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306595880592136,0.0,0.0,0.09328349724995734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194021762521056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846656455046482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120987515115407,0.11301940525571935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22441334102783908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941918731098019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832565812235367,0.09236448023825368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066909305329995,0.2467190472865271,0.11086021547685944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469663546129515,0.0,0.057274965545570634,0.0,0.06230287900123965,0.09194893542516007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388349857078865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990712279133576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795934881714288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744046451572777,0.0,0.0,0.1204949658076554,0.08935967366885789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743195765166389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970153996798661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875022824630679,0.0,0.1611751806626757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741002639881868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29714116711033683,0.08337537492420298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600073939412302,0.09572103627954563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499123078106493,0.1115288686429476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271359960794793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717885095694965,0.0,0.11094718100022598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384597119553654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842273765572276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165209301420787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21849156799033326,0.0702437980204816,0.0,0.0,0.1278473927501063,0.0,0.10391245776036792,0.0,0.0,0.07442873475732865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713583437068066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117862987380739
mentalhealth,RedBeard1001,2019/03/18,"How do I proceed Alright so to start, I've been in and out of therapy for a few years now and the only diagnosis I've received is DID.

My big problem is that I've had a myriad of failed relationships in my life, but finally found someone I thought to be the one almost 3 years ago. Currently our relationship is in shambles, and to make things tough, I adopted her son a couple years ago.

Now, I've wondered why I've never been able to get along with family, make friends, or have successful relationships but recently stumbled on the traits of a sociopath, and I check every box. 

I don't want to leave the relationship, but mostly because I question if I'll be able to find someone else that will stick around and don't want to be alone. I would kinda feel bad for the kid too tbh. Realistically, I'm no good for either of them if I'm right about me and should walk away, but my fear of what comes after is keeping me here. So, should I leave, stick it out, find more counseling, just be honest for once, or whatever else?",9.877865853658538,6.1337414390243925,9.772530487804882,70.63928353658538,61.4390243902439,13.176829268292684,39.77134146341464,10.9516,4.012231707317072,805,29,166,15,8,267,122,205,0.106,0.7909999999999999,0.103,0.3062,1,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,1,2,10,10,0,1,9,1,20,1,0,3,1,43,34,17,0,8,10,1,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,5,12,0,1,7,0,1,3,4,5,0,1,6,1,16,5,28,20,4,27,0,1,0,0,12,10,0,9,14,107,21,2,0.23381264979231375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20726080659286306,0.0,0.11706479729985747,0.1210796954895516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104071414737776,0.0,0.0,0.10983734056082736,0.0,0.09761189810783784,0.07126501057141993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070444730459753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935462490376046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953204667175543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849862085346034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102088787156247,0.1315521174011754,0.05911135050953083,0.0,0.0,0.12806516458772366,0.2137005260368754,0.0,0.0,0.1281817510943946,0.09032153661609328,0.0,0.061078729627622376,0.0,0.0,0.09805547873988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391171308886683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24757383624856266,0.0,0.0,0.0825743946049259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607175932134992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016536480623744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245014206047118,0.07921875130910479,0.0889125280842856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186356438157703,0.0,0.0,0.1309618391530381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543089215083226,0.5020545678709116,0.0,0.09983736269601104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810869941830034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274689847505187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369257100599696,0.0,0.07766736758417768,0.0,0.0,0.09281056340433837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790875872437566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054897746031518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267799224599407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304689899990618,0.0,0.0,0.22585152092611
mentalhealth,Conor6223,2019/03/18,"Coming home from college and getting incredibly sad at night. I have been having this issue for about a year now. When I come home from college everything goes well until the night, usually around 9pm. I start to feel what I can only describe as very sad. My mind gets hyper focus on negative thoughts and it will spiral till I start sobbing. 

Sometimes it's thinking about losing one of my parents but other times they are more abstract thoughts. They are always thoughts that would normally make me feel sad, but now they feel much more real. It is almost like I'm disconnecting from reality and reacting as if the thoughts are reality.

It doesn't happen every night and it can take one or more nights back home to start happening. I have some coping mechanisms like Meditation and keeping myself busy that can break the cycle and ground myself, but I wish I knew the cause.

When I'm at school I do smoke weed almost every night before bed and I stop smoking when I go back home. I have dealt with some insomnia and lose of appetite do to stopping but that only ever lasts a few days and I haven't heard of anyone having this as a side effect before. Other than that I don't drink much or take anything, regularly, other than vitamins and caffeine. Any insight into this would really be appreciated.",5.774928263988521,7.084158735772355,6.12263510282162,76.94003586800576,67.33333333333333,8.55246293639407,29.10473457675753,8.841846274778883,2.3604579626972737,1043,36,182,17,17,335,141,246,0.094,0.843,0.063,-0.6802,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,3,3,12,9,0,0,7,0,22,3,0,4,1,50,49,25,0,5,7,1,3,2,0,3,2,1,5,0,16,15,1,3,11,1,0,3,4,6,1,2,7,4,22,3,25,38,8,36,0,6,0,0,5,7,1,7,27,129,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857463457761244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717330745760755,0.0,0.0,0.06307144580344831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648511728653744,0.0,0.07632324797805938,0.08256489326068704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426341267309872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784249594805513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527717864090413,0.0,0.1597874298822712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059814431835929084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090857190751994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389537756258192,0.1562874519882716,0.0,0.08335542682125831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406876909748474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969134282436636,0.0,0.05271051266417777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403252579366848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721330142706749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680424027043186,0.0,0.08243819420860858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560154981755189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906234375080484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20752134322938265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06190964244044956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364848422059324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363600934284605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4351859902715207,0.09087280792661206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569614360603093,0.14107722873401493,0.0,0.0,0.10298506625580432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556690202610627,0.05941639079926893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386536999439264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172959866225584,0.0,0.19694136543045412,0.0,0.0,0.15508204073290674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946907825492494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942882037706267,0.0,0.2945244582386534,0.05408178339962832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021482118739892,0.07652635876962358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339109522195863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665498918791357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177025350976482,0.0,0.0,0.05972631634733104
mentalhealth,oke_worth,2019/03/18,"i think i’m a toxic person specifically to my boyfriend. i have huge crying and yelling episodes when i feel low. i feel ugly and worthless and i can’t convince myself that he actually loves me. 

i’m trying so hard to be better, i’m on antidepressants and i’m seeing a counsellor for the first time next week. i try so hard to understand that my negative feelings always pass and i try to remember that i’ll feel okay soon 

but none of it is working. i cry and yell and tell him he doesn’t love me and that he isn’t happy and that he needs to leave me. i accuse him of lying about wanting to be with me and i’m constantly suspicious of him talking to other women. 

i feel broken. no matter how hard i try, i always have another episode and i’m back to square one. i feel like a horrible, toxic person",1.3276541459957478,3.4842705180722926,3.5724521615875275,86.84189581856842,81.77108433734941,6.556484762579732,22.415308291991487,7.724431198458867,1.1198274982282077,630,21,130,11,17,216,91,166,0.234,0.633,0.133,-0.9457,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,7,9,0,0,4,1,8,2,0,1,0,26,27,16,0,2,1,0,9,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,7,12,0,0,9,0,0,1,6,2,0,2,0,13,23,7,15,25,1,12,0,2,2,2,14,3,0,0,9,80,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.13176539743770893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247040433361732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158599597904248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382626470876204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941907032807632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591458252737144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966383138412416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40963765907070654,0.0964622347357766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485261007819082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437371414671917,0.3628689433421433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297249435997894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596663244045696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437315471338087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011968754644547,0.0,0.0,0.14360113702243554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914967643299288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357980937628613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295755487741694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075978311558205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852837160010304,0.11801822693590992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651887983912468,0.0,0.0,0.07873444718825293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666937688745008,0.0,0.0,0.14056629366866233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964153049321653,0.0,0.1083093008839794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983001625224175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wubbalubba3,2019/03/18,"Just finished my first therapy session I just had my first therapy session. They had me fill out a lot of paper work and one of the forms was a trama worksheet I guess. I must have misunderstood the sheet though because my therapist said ""oh no trauma?"" And moved on really quickly. There wasn't a section for verbal/emotional abuse so I didn't mark anything. Not sure if I should bring it up next time. Also she seems to just be focused on my anxiety which is a big problem that I want fixed but it seems like she won't be doing much talk therapy; just teaching me how to deal with anxiety. I don't know how I feel about it. She also annoyed the crap out of me in the first 10 mins but I'm not sure if it's just me... I get annoyed by people pretty easily. So maybe I should stick it out with her for a while? ",1.9166071428571383,3.711913160714289,3.598238095238095,89.21342857142858,78.10714285714286,6.860952380952381,23.7,7.793537801064563,1.1235328571428569,633,21,136,10,15,211,104,168,0.151,0.768,0.08,-0.8416,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,1,4,15,8,3,0,9,0,15,1,1,2,3,33,25,14,0,7,11,0,1,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,7,7,0,0,4,0,0,3,7,5,0,4,6,2,23,3,18,13,4,21,0,0,0,0,8,9,1,6,10,104,30,5,0.0,0.16751296038371602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22612412142291335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21631163200053916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634423469756155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618433655513316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457572498633609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903421035454712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148630843794375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607749450976007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386555826455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574673361616556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776991119302266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907144783439463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019677917372575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420358732957872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026526437230348,0.10393105071853632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503599331640553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958031924721182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801554641528057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383495592625611,0.0,0.13528219533843747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905720694436299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13448538111318112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574152813766893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664991930168158,0.0,0.0,0.11363641708244801,0.0,0.0,0.4850433098422665,0.16415384025349286,0.0,0.0,0.13890577815036245,0.0,0.08244019833272599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338997483127315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292680248469932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jeeve_24,2019/03/18,"What is wrong with me? I’ve like been stressing a lot over stuff lately in school, I’ve been getting angry for pretty much no reason to the point where I want to break something. I’ve also just lost the will to want to do anything like homework and I’ve drifting in and out of paying attention in class. I don’t know if this is just being a teenager or what but I want it to stop and I’m too embarrassed to ask my parents if I can see a professional. Can anyone here help me out?",1.691372549019608,3.3785897058823515,3.290784313725492,91.65519607843142,78.41176470588233,5.7098039215686285,22.117647058823533,6.42735559955562,0.3268941176470589,378,11,83,3,9,125,67,102,0.151,0.725,0.125,-0.5733,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,2,5,0,10,0,0,1,0,20,19,8,0,5,6,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,3,1,7,2,15,14,2,12,0,1,1,0,3,8,0,4,4,58,12,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685743165906999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739419152227254,0.0,0.17346800270572166,0.0,0.19706677672946454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013275298258636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412928123850761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584854027001658,0.0,0.23778824259751866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596957177932254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23010987010889106,0.1792121050873515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549600788910378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340651665799957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19927133826106966,0.0,0.0,0.2144563724077347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673446513946035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133378582216736,0.16797794875729055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622818598703273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623576416191136,0.2414672969128613,0.0,0.2413121778518844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730006669586491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304734715770201,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mindstrems,2019/03/18,"My friend is struggling with an eating disorder Let me first point out that this post is not about me, i am not the one struggling with these issues.

​

My Friend is struggling with an eating disorder, and I am trying to help him, but I just cant anymore. I hate myself for having to say this, but I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried everything i can think of, I told them what could happen to them. All I got is ""maybe its better if I die"". Every day He's happy in the morning and mid-day, then has a mental breakdown and is doesn't let himself eat. Every day we go through the same routine, I try and console him, but then he shuts down and keeps telling me that its better if he dies, and he's doing this so he isn't fat anymore. (he's in no way overweight) I don't know what to do anymore, I can't leave him, he'll kill himself. Does anyone else have any ideas on how to help him?",3.1807449392712526,3.775518936842108,4.145789473684213,91.37091093117412,72.78947368421052,6.477732793522267,25.141700404858298,5.873414542411696,0.5374291497975712,698,20,157,3,13,226,105,190,0.096,0.763,0.141,0.8695,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,2,3,4,10,2,3,6,0,23,5,1,1,1,28,33,15,3,3,8,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,0,0,11,11,5,1,4,0,0,1,9,5,0,2,2,1,27,5,18,27,2,15,0,0,0,0,23,7,0,2,5,108,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113106299777082,0.1248312423926578,0.06986162858963192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4075321733111529,0.07183295855372795,0.10526159526688507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171711049965425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202354857210979,0.0,0.0,0.19876190729369966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21324024878671946,0.0,0.2354807100075385,0.0,0.0899019104413589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315363010010682,0.08581982845726623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311313836137893,0.0,0.09232935435893573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738421920140106,0.0,0.0,0.1587417623694049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058385252020218416,0.0,0.08216457179578504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084601793756528,0.1093606655416962,0.0,0.10142708331137226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771886980313133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597249738918596,0.0,0.10722604807173536,0.0,0.09131337377851706,0.1136582995056714,0.0,0.11291819990706342,0.0,0.0,0.10877889303880836,0.0,0.21010190044844165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032086129194788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035302055675284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961420645975952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971154265606885,0.0,0.09838934520094042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169701409550094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221949703334275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979274049851614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658268432539295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816531432301624,0.0,0.20924588908320724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154428339805596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248312423926578,0.0
mentalhealth,heckingkeerax,2019/03/18,"I'm not sure what to do. I really haven't been okay in a while. I feel like I've been out of my body constantly and I haven't been able to truly  enjoy anything. I've felt really numb for a few years now. It's gotten to the point where I started absentmindedly writing a suicide note in class the other day. It's not that I don't have anything to look forward to or live for, it's more that I don't care enough. I've tried to go to therapy in the past but my father is so insufferable about the topic of therapy that I feel the negatives outweigh the positives if I went back. But it's become so much worse and I'm seriously contemplating ending my life.

I was planning on going to someone in school. I'm hoping that I could maybe go back to therapy without my parents knowing, or just talk to someone about how I'm feeling (or not feeling). I just don't know where to start. I wanted to talk to one of my teachers but I've displayed symptoms of anxiety in the past and I feel if I tried to talk to someone about it I would get scared that they don't want to deal with me and wimp out or start crying. 

Any advice would be appreciated. I live in southern California.",2.769372303710096,4.089296209016396,4.652027610008627,84.58305004314062,74.61475409836065,7.5958584987057804,26.366695427092324,8.20500826718156,1.5891672131147545,921,33,196,15,19,315,120,244,0.128,0.787,0.085,-0.8068,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,1,1,13,10,0,1,10,1,17,4,1,1,1,39,43,17,1,8,15,2,6,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,12,7,0,0,8,0,0,5,11,4,0,1,7,7,23,6,36,32,4,30,0,0,1,0,8,13,0,7,15,131,35,2,0.10700464064146402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045636964096672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276682498167394,0.0,0.08185825720613894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611140372332176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645599273020025,0.0,0.0,0.11817821866084607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885803328319156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090983626194331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563400243840186,0.0,0.08543449850535458,0.0,0.11753957319381388,0.069009140940691,0.110317085943346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947743509483265,0.11056439792608272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705238071901743,0.07644413665480004,0.10274123558427553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055905508281491816,0.0,0.18243960959836575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627975229790894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761390416687745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558054218824392,0.0522770624042464,0.0,0.188974116204616,0.0,0.0898569483314347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750054392559094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866072298322832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250911380052223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188159902868834,0.0,0.20429607463948354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115397236260536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709982561068107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713031239259342,0.10829440903427974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719940543169864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22721530618767324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170457093058078,0.0,0.10085060745667436,0.11121879297162406,0.0,0.25801883065158304,0.0,0.0,0.3671073963612482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529825405293795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622821888995406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991943739082576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314865510886534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109046870475852,0.1520260531971447,0.0,0.0,0.06890748028815147
mentalhealth,SmartEntrance,2019/03/18,"How can I support someone who is struggling with an eating disorder? My friend i struggling with an eating disorder. I have no idea what i should do to help them get through it. I have explained that I am always around to talk and listen, and offer to help out where I can, but i just feel helpless as I have no idea what I am doing. It kills me to see how upset and stressed they are everyday. I just dont know what to do.",3.512310606060605,4.164506215909093,4.477727272727275,89.08242424242425,72.06818181818181,7.2303030303030305,27.166666666666664,7.1686216300943375,1.1827212121212125,329,11,72,3,6,107,53,88,0.28,0.64,0.079,-0.9612,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,6,8,1,4,2,0,14,2,0,2,0,18,21,7,1,1,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,7,7,2,0,5,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,3,15,2,11,20,0,4,0,1,1,0,10,3,0,0,1,60,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498885844494623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16036030311210125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129056849150548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21111946182136376,0.0,0.0,0.3686506625565079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910827830000977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391735571751582,0.0,0.09411425434608166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414843417958472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067059545069171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19929512698584653,0.0,0.09899869647604786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354602936672592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15262966861702187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063465588798192,0.3766370357822536,0.0,0.0,0.20441756469168254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447874613222499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,corgimumma,2019/03/18,"Commitment Phobia? I feel like my commitment phobia is more than just the standard 'I can't be in a relationship'. It's so bizarre because I'm someone who wants to be in a relationship, the kids with the white picket fence, etc. but any time the opportunity presents itself, I panic. I mean, full-on sheer *panic*. I feel the same sensation I do as when I'm on an airplane and I realize I can't get out. When I started seeing a therapist in middle school, I remember her saying a word and I had to correspond a word to it and when she said 'love' I said 'jail'. So, y'know, I was clearly a kid full of happiness and rainbows. 

Moving on...

For most of my life this has been how it's happened, meaning only with relationships.

However, over the last few years, it's seemed to escalate at an extreme level. 

For a couple examples:  
1.) I want to get another pet; each time I've went to get it, I panic and get sad about ""all the freedom"" I'm going to lose (~~I have no life so I'm not sure what perceived freedom I think I have~~), and end up leaving empty handed. Which is stupid, because the dog I have now is the the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I know I would end up loving any dog I adopted.  
2.) I want to move; I find a place to live, but I think about how difficult it would be to move, how I wouldn't see my family anymore, etc. and I freak out about it. The last time I moved (two years ago), I legitimately broke down in tears when everyone left after moving my stuff and actually had to call a therapist hotline because I was practically inconsolable at the level 'what did I just do???' by signing a 12 month lease.  


3.) I bought a car a few months ago. I was so excited to get it, drove around in it and loved it, it was my ideal car. A little out of my price range, but not much, and I went for it. I went with my uncle, and within 30 minutes of my signing the paper, sitting in their lounge area, I started panicking. I began tearing up, and told my uncle I felt like I'd sold my soul and I'd never be able to get out of this loan. I was stuck with it. He calmed me down. Within two days I was back in love with my car and fine.  


I absolutely hate this about myself. I feel like if I don't have someone with me, babysitting my choices or forcing me to do something, I can't make the decision. It's very opposite of my personality, as I'm typically a head-strong, outgoing person. I miss how I was in my early 20's when I wanted something, and I just went for it. Do other people that have commitment phobia have these issues? Is this issue something more advanced/completely different entirely? I'm at the point where I'm desperate for my life to have motion, but I can't make myself do anything out of fear. ",1.8926881720430089,3.6975522759856654,4.051647311827956,85.89147096774197,78.21146953405018,7.116329749103942,24.242437275985665,8.043390162373402,1.3747333620071678,2102,73,443,37,50,723,251,558,0.124,0.7340000000000001,0.142,0.9388,2,0,3,0,0,0,92.0,0,0,1,4,25,27,2,4,31,0,40,8,1,6,8,85,94,37,0,9,11,0,5,3,0,3,3,4,1,4,30,29,0,1,15,0,4,15,10,12,0,2,24,12,73,15,70,63,13,82,1,4,3,4,21,37,0,4,32,305,103,2,0.06792106806756233,0.0,0.06628116470208201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041585743830435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237731079721984,0.07122116201585987,0.0,0.0,0.06735944858759338,0.0,0.0,0.05589325176954322,0.06046415068278624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222710882663033,0.0,0.1242121580202736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127897054001042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693550045276447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121394761644192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515336993739617,0.0,0.04380346993381153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096305986817683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031581253357225,0.0,0.15149989003766592,0.0,0.06143849462164237,0.0,0.06490149123198262,0.0,0.0,0.06402993815384013,0.07643008475695326,0.10302879844413007,0.09704564919747527,0.06521487679068909,0.0,0.062078625719854626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21291572835958775,0.0,0.03860110822442353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012475235874677,0.07230323994504884,0.0,0.0670579929745631,0.06970661106593086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417838972301078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465528544109451,0.11072947155851724,0.0,0.07191860405552332,0.07379643918976947,0.0,0.14392397712221544,0.09954840909643124,0.06807475370851583,0.0599755474753097,0.0,0.0,0.07598630163124118,0.0,0.0,0.2452056629860856,0.0,0.09067568070167,0.0,0.0,0.14797190973796287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842789705348144,0.36094673172293257,0.04992980012791359,0.0,0.052384914894731786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05165703290592735,0.0,0.2390722168969141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047087916538020316,0.11861211359774222,0.07096305986817683,0.0,0.06420736335319784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21876542506327495,0.07694132969963208,0.0,0.12921697900067153,0.05401355947938047,0.0,0.0687397470171357,0.10824859495904013,0.06183278943179407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150986011228975,0.15686686956469045,0.0,0.0,0.09614976313207883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775337296419617,0.0,0.0,0.06401480284085435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772319008460767,0.04512373958380015,0.08704215577033629,0.0,0.0,0.11881596299086855,0.0,0.0,0.06490149123198262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269802836963393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056041994425428,0.1602464228817661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518540422827709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649835600910296,0.0,0.0,0.08747788191164027
mentalhealth,bclifton1312,2019/03/18,"At a loss. (USA) I was prescribed abilify and prazosin a few months ago for what the doctor thought was trauma related mood disorder (which I have been dealing with since adolescence...?). I'm not really sure what that means, since these problems began before my traumatic experiences, I don't trust this doctor. The combination made me so sick I thought I was going to die so I stopped taking them and have been afraid to go back to the doc because I figure she will just put me on something else that'll make me feel sick and completely apathetic towards life- this triggered a depressive state lasting weeks. Has anyone else had this sort of adverse affect with this combo? Hydroxixyzne makes me super depressed, I tried birth control which made me actually feel suicidal. These are the only meds I've tried so far.What do I try next? Im at a complete loss. I have manic episodes where I feel like I smoked meth for 3 days and my heart is going to explode/no sleep and depressive episodes where I daydream about a slow death and push everyone around me away. I feel like no one has taken me seriously and has written it off for PMDD but its dangerous to my health and has put me in precarious situations. these issues seem to only be getting worse and I'm confused how to proceed...thank you in advance for any sort of advice!!!

​

TLDR: Adverse reactions to Abilify, need mood stabilizer advice.

​

PS: I have been in EMDR therapy for a year now- this is the one and only therapy I've tried and was wondering if anyone has experience with it. I'm thinking of getting a second opinion from another type of therapist as I still am having insanely unstable mood problems.",5.115000000000002,7.141860652866242,5.768272611464969,76.07768280254778,69.85987261146497,8.973044585987262,32.305222929936306,9.490545024520769,3.3011148025477706,1351,62,230,31,25,438,182,314,0.202,0.78,0.019,-0.9937,0,0,3,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,1,5,13,22,1,2,12,0,27,8,2,8,1,47,54,18,3,4,4,0,4,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,17,15,0,2,11,0,0,7,3,14,0,3,15,4,30,5,33,36,1,34,0,5,0,0,4,12,0,7,16,147,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.08505528807580692,0.0,0.0,0.17034288779355625,0.07726180951515897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18887498333270716,0.2118171358030779,0.05927158052247593,0.09139453839685464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188816874265755,0.08930540621137731,0.0,0.07759060628609983,0.0,0.0,0.08188940131582513,0.06702042437820989,0.0,0.053131740268489686,0.0,0.07416647969041983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277056104120112,0.0,0.09775700777957516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056210791869552884,0.08985781699480043,0.2252115493006425,0.0,0.0904580012787634,0.0,0.09989256009680976,0.17842327946820302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562147993168406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328482243934288,0.0,0.17051781006809316,0.0,0.0,0.17628223988233505,0.12453380513296385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107468510797076,0.0,0.1486045875097882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264667859022327,0.0,0.10328465664540558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414742583200177,0.09097207538236436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104678338275876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06156346925087229,0.08516364743280047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649452191498251,0.11635954464916284,0.0,0.0,0.09494245813618292,0.09681477091053572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957003592793014,0.0,0.0,0.06462780845288639,0.0,0.0,0.09269532301324232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812332827008434,0.19886662378537268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680011131894806,0.0,0.1752391315957087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055836731610506736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934691161947481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419879855898496,0.09797114752255404,0.08722263934900881,0.0,0.0,0.06709979041731026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960584394614258,0.07286940665301682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533855827400296,0.0,0.08214697978253573,0.0,0.06553324247507833,0.0,0.0,0.08024493564855227,0.19934941148709956,0.10119912217278952,0.0,0.05584841234354969,0.0,0.1383901218685597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23670284273204964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991424886287882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452096979134174,0.0,0.0,0.08882317410112701,0.0,0.0,0.2118171358030779,0.05612798507463665
mentalhealth,ArjunS1226,2019/03/18,"Sleep issues This has been going on for a while, and it's my first post in this subreddit. So I am usually able to get around 7-8 hours of sleep every night, but then twice a month, it is physically impossible to sleep. No matter what I try, I can't sleep those two days. Anyone have any idea what this could be?",4.230692307692308,4.26957787692308,5.270576923076924,86.21817307692308,70.23076923076923,8.961538461538463,22.403846153846153,8.841846274778883,1.0136923076923066,242,4,56,4,4,80,54,65,0.047,0.933,0.02,-0.3919,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,8,4,4,0,0,6,10,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,0,4,0,7,7,0,13,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,8,38,12,0,0.18182878434747213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364980853097715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271389137455674,0.0,0.0,0.16186616801015766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451754887586155,0.0,0.0,0.11726452358410105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319859302390934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466347107868228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499803511523776,0.0,0.10333748839064803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17906472596284756,0.0,0.0,0.20526256525259806,0.0,0.18978201025750355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451340009183616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063399669044918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414171328651235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7278403956838433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344980901706065,0.0,0.17762030155176609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20025871738158085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GeekyDoesReddit,2019/03/18,"Whenever I'm walking my dog in the park, I get angry at random people walking by. Whenever I walk my dog through the trail in my park and I see other people, I get extremely angry. I'm talking really angry. I feel like they have no place to be running or walking through the park. I just seriously want to start swinging on them for doing literally nothing. I would never just swing on someone for no reason, but I have the urge to. Is there something wrong with me? (besides what is already wrong with me)",3.005151515151514,5.147632141414147,4.671717171717173,81.16090909090913,76.07070707070706,6.824242424242425,29.181818181818183,7.793537801064563,2.1169272727272728,398,18,72,6,9,134,61,99,0.19,0.78,0.03,-0.9357,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,1,1,13,15,3,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,5,3,3,0,0,0,2,15,1,15,13,0,13,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,2,3,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598276662430377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905184829051807,0.16820729854155025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460284053984808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503018841608145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18159546752768987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259230044582802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264662063805925,0.0,0.2459977277781735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15083688759955574,0.2420843636841857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18762514218362625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19949812197554664,0.18126282203855024,0.0,0.0,0.1666544769971788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924778439946505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138875972889004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672586861154643,0.514860649199534,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lucashar,2019/03/18,"I think my brother (m16) is falling into depression. Need advice on what I (m19) can do to help him. Hi guys,

​

My brother, who is 16, has been showing signs of depression for a while now since the middle of last year and I’m really worried about him going forward in the run up to his exams in under 2 months. He’s been like this for around a year now, he was expelled from his last school for possession and smoking weed in December after hanging out with the wrong crowd. He is now at a good new school (by some stroke of luck they took him in with good faith) and is now living with my parents.

​

At this time last year his mood began to change, less talkative, and just generally not really the same person the me or my family used to know. His mood swings became a bit more erratic (not bipolar however) and started to be noticed by most people around him. When asked about it by myself or others he said ‘I’m fine, leave me alone’. So we kind of passed this on as usual teen behaviour (I was the same).This continued for most of the year until last summer when he went on holiday with my parents and seemed to have a pretty good time (I was away working).

​

However fast forward to September when it’s time to go back to school, he told my mum before she dropped him off in a very sincere tone, ‘Mum, I really don’t want to go back to school.’ My mum passed this off at the time not really thinking about it. His grades were dropping, teachers were seeing him change and he started to close himself off and get in and around the wrong crowd.

​

2 months later my parents get the dreaded call ‘Please come and pick up your son, he won’t be coming back.’ Caught red handed rolling joints in the bathroom with his ‘mates’. All the while with all of this going on he also had a girlfriend in the mix. I phoned him as soon as I found out and he was balling his eyes out, and had no idea what was going on. I told him that it was time to turn his life around and start from a fresh slate, forget everything and everyone at that place and move on, regardless of what he did or didn’t do. It seemed that he had cried for help, but no one really noticed. My mum and dad are still in denial about what they could’ve done to prevent and help him but I also told them that it’s gone now and it’s time to start again.

​

Fast forward to now where he has joined a new school that took him in regardless of what he did. He started well, made friends quickly and has joined the local rugby club to continue his hobby which he does very well in. However now as the exam period is slowly approaching, he’s in denial that he has to sit these exams (GCSE’s) whether he likes it or not. It’s now got to the point where whenever he is reminded of that fact, he closes off, doesn’t talk to anyone and stays on his phone. My parents have cried out to me to try and help him and talk him through which I have tried to do with a small amount of success but I slowly see him not even talking to me anymore and progressively closing himself off to the world.

​

I’m worried. I want the best for him absolutely, and I’m worried that he’ll fall into this spiral of decline that will be almost impossible to get out of. I’m worried that he’s going to turn to drugs and hang out with the wrong people again, and with the recent rise in teen stabbing across the uk I would destroy me if I see he’s around or involved in it, or worse, a victim. His silent cries for help haven’t gone unnoticed, I’ve been watching over him from afar and checking in but the situation is getting worse and almost out of hand. I’ve mentioned depression to my parents and they haven’t quite clocked onto the idea completely yet but I’m sure he’s showing strong signs of it.

​

Guys I really need help/advice, anything I can do to help him at least until his exams are over and done with and then I can deal with it much closer.

​

Thanks.",5.876621829900523,5.609572310214375,5.909905002101728,84.07858315818973,66.75535939470366,8.915219279809445,29.728149082247445,8.309216665352881,1.8847016337396667,3114,96,645,37,45,983,312,793,0.079,0.8240000000000001,0.096,0.9176,8,1,2,0,0,0,105.0,1,1,4,6,37,29,2,1,34,0,52,7,3,3,4,115,107,59,0,8,19,13,3,2,3,4,4,1,0,3,38,62,0,1,8,5,1,27,13,9,2,1,33,10,71,18,134,67,13,156,1,3,6,0,105,69,0,15,64,423,109,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783413974457402,0.0,0.0,0.07975907790920704,0.04124726257816691,0.0,0.06369696135280678,0.0,0.3452077638789008,0.38713925217406897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03949624754101033,0.02784695293713666,0.0,0.032773037102451816,0.17726593022943246,0.03723151638732912,0.0,0.03741741840927358,0.09187017687142156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03388861266449433,0.0,0.04179446126634657,0.0,0.04347918959991858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04066634279925325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426030966363911,0.06861237574090777,0.04175633504145977,0.0,0.0,0.031797463766107766,0.0,0.13123950108327104,0.0,0.04105839683539887,0.10290507239493517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034851610172045064,0.08151073655816081,0.0,0.0,0.04618499818356192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026304402426045138,0.0,0.0,0.03805502297343972,0.035792639441774236,0.0,0.03754398737500125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043666663710563866,0.030769123775910092,0.0,0.08322883167834874,0.0,0.13580267871165178,0.10021135407862113,0.03185213319852143,0.0,0.0,0.07886711848841049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18685960276622174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991640444221309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04147218535914996,0.021887082627999297,0.12985256591206645,0.0,0.04216951070920792,0.0,0.0,0.02812996615767389,0.038913507463109794,0.0,0.03516669330230754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037683901581691166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357675355383269,0.04232826059052195,0.029276364146016257,0.05906028645708807,0.0,0.07692753531147069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906833130471006,0.0,0.0,0.02698682568658357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22110782014741964,0.0,0.0,0.055220048464548505,0.03477413709768494,0.041609226880418335,0.04371649825906807,0.037648020732470505,0.0,0.0,0.0405169053666869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04235937827979557,0.0,0.0,0.15307961585057228,0.0,0.03932292940551956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03788322125644643,0.0,0.0,0.20152793119770834,0.09520742951693968,0.07251137616940401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03294410932977115,0.04476559066233704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409436584362698,0.04244874098056891,0.03180473840098896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037535112776398816,0.0,0.0,0.0960308138064742,0.0,0.036666018851536884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051037213084336064,0.0,0.0,0.13933560278506224,0.0,0.0,0.11416506892031915,0.0884953104296614,0.054077873099909975,0.08663753183722803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0343964912403758,0.043862220573444674,0.0657205048714223,0.04698028649588285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161591075130844,0.036918687009696464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02899347720526524,0.16177913068013813,0.08117128264166097,0.02829093049418208,0.13062897221348038,0.38713925217406897,0.10258540266559676
mentalhealth,ThatKiwiDU,2019/03/18,"I am surrounded by people who do not know what is going on. My depression and anxiety have come back in full force. I am currently seeing my doctor and a counsellor. 
However, the only people that don’t fully know what is going on is the people that I work for. I put a very brave face on and think that I am being social enough, but i reality all i want to do is hide and avoid people all together. 

Do I tell them? I just fear that they might think thats its an excuse or start to patronise me. 
I cant even tell my manager because I know part of my my anxiety and depression has come back is because of her. 

Thanks for reading, any suggestions would be most appreciated.",3.5866176470588265,4.764849132352944,5.6787058823529435,78.57217647058825,72.38235294117645,9.55764705882353,26.1,9.888512548439397,2.463405294117648,526,17,106,14,10,184,83,136,0.141,0.7609999999999999,0.099,-0.7153,2,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,4,6,0,2,5,0,19,2,1,0,2,23,32,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,7,0,1,5,1,0,5,3,4,0,0,0,1,20,2,11,28,6,15,0,2,1,0,9,6,0,3,4,82,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397041820187053,0.0,0.23392080765216766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351258896505041,0.0,0.18640060571400746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26340233201620233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633678035721221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648935644818687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797620266526582,0.0,0.10098237914799348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204371521115971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378177955229082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520729770537187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219209058744533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627970695286124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556493177339468,0.0,0.42397860101899293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369664210683154,0.0,0.0,0.15293133799202804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183350641546292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585206420337733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082163032954829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26726513451214545,0.14076053724935592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19593143074926106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615023206443035,0.09017846188954247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130571455452748,0.0,0.0,0.10860864365366836,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eatmyshorts283,2019/03/18,"College Counseling I promised the suicide hotline lady I’d talk to a counselor at my college today, but I went in and they told me I wouldn’t be able to to talk to someone for at least a month.  I told them don’t worry about it, but now Idk what to do.",2.229727272727274,3.00104465454546,3.932500000000001,91.35875,75.18181818181819,6.2272727272727275,28.29545454545455,5.985473137389443,0.9869090909090912,196,8,45,1,4,66,39,55,0.158,0.8079999999999999,0.034,-0.7543,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,8,1,10,2,1,7,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,32,10,2,0.2819749759012116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250697355661575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23891648203771385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084348572454009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4532816092142869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672793066858193,0.5388783464914615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613936276468208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863592754187311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DumbestRedditor,2019/03/18,Im getting more and more violent I keep having moments where when I get mad and lose control,1.912105263157894,4.294683631578948,3.6413157894736834,85.87671052631579,81.10526315789474,5.905263157894738,30.552631578947373,7.1686216300943375,2.0528736842105264,75,4,14,1,2,25,15,19,0.443,0.557,0.0,-0.8849,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757345091123552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4432149837288226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4581684774289628,0.0,0.0,0.3770152760764697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4745295385255751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,umbrelladummy,2019/03/18,"Why do I dislike people who like me? As time goes on, I've come to realise I get really burnt out/exhausted/disinterested in people who take an interest in me. People are who are eager to see me and enthusiastic to share their lives with me, or have unfettered love for me. It weirds me out and makes me uncomfortable and exhausted and I tend to withdraw. I know rationally speaking, that this is exactly the kind of affection I should want in my life, but it always feels like they expect too much of me. 

For example - I'm in a good relationship now, and have good friends who invite me out on a regular basis. However, I'm getting resentful of what I think they expect -- for example, support I can't offer, or to be the life of the party when I'm tired.

Is there a science-based reason for why I feel this way? I know my parents were quite withholding and neglectful when I was younger, and I'm wondering if that has anything to do with it. I don't have many long term friendships either, and being in relationships, I always think about the fact that once the novelty wears off, I doubt my ability to continue on.  ",7.491934945788159,6.441438201834862,8.32349457881568,70.68560050041701,63.77064220183486,12.330942452043367,35.873227689741455,11.567385478589935,4.116214678899082,880,35,169,24,11,299,124,218,0.094,0.7120000000000001,0.194,0.9662,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,3,1,6,16,1,1,9,0,17,6,1,3,2,37,38,15,0,5,5,1,2,2,1,1,4,1,0,0,13,13,0,2,8,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,4,28,11,30,33,3,20,0,1,1,1,15,11,0,5,9,116,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24817998854812284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272315022623195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846424438948567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15081151193016354,0.10654012253902988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521922083925648,0.0,0.155830910349954,0.0,0.0,0.2501701428630527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552983087325873,0.16391838943537898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106730634597652,0.1457169870249087,0.0,0.1316865254693177,0.13197736485803369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459769499115914,0.0,0.09954694737120884,0.15119671320070868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962937685444583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15882099898751606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655937357488082,0.0,0.0,0.3101686127850941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586205247890264,0.0,0.0,0.09553795006280848,0.15333281014155994,0.0,0.3202244907255548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188391099135847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16923353119437287,0.0,0.0,0.1121289063033167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111587213894826,0.0,0.0,0.08696022515398041,0.17140560459825915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796207594801025,0.11837425333801585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691373528762194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16172758382072291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abortionsurviver24,2019/03/18,"How can I get anti-depressants in the UK? I already see a councillor in school but it’s really not working, I don’t want another one and I don’t feel talking about my problems helps. I have pretty much symptoms of depression it’s hard to function. Although I’m scared I genuinely think anti-depressants will help me how would I go about this in the UK? Only asking as I heard they rarely prescribe them so how can I qualify for them?",1.6517241379310337,4.182594229885062,3.536333333333335,85.20450000000002,83.71264367816093,7.1581609195402285,25.94137931034483,8.238735603445708,2.114467586206897,346,15,66,8,10,116,63,87,0.179,0.695,0.126,-0.568,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,3,1,6,3,0,1,3,0,7,1,0,3,0,11,16,8,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,4,14,0,9,13,1,4,0,1,1,0,8,3,0,0,0,46,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227935676407455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21658816944716025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930985833130519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5337097605283572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443908441325997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079150881251718,0.0,0.1173884718013706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18503035238817792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768953991806548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518397580786344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996523144485865,0.1570923848964309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101380170805738,0.0,0.19764272246380107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323227372178319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067949555974487,0.20904202561855045,0.16459549636514406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21468699979035,0.0,0.16601897084106282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235041839694772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182993933982858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037258529607814,0.0,0.0,0.14672887728241346,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,karihallx,2019/03/18,"MENTAL HEALTH SIDE EFFECTS I'm writing a screen play based on mental health side effects, hoping to raise awareness on how to spot signs of mental health issues etc. I was just wondering if there is any in particular people don't talk about that should be mentioned in this? 

​",4.007756410256408,7.131534519230776,3.4476923076923067,85.78064102564106,78.80769230769229,5.005128205128205,24.051282051282055,6.42735559955562,0.9240666666666666,233,8,38,2,6,69,42,52,0.0,0.898,0.102,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,3,0,10,8,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,8,5,1,6,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,3,0,22,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19941764264693626,0.2236403844953304,0.1251600254855286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052639326099512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5869082898390817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828027608673596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19209994356419316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5564360620678513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759680452045455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479320804420213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995939180922492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236403844953304,0.0
mentalhealth,IStoleYourLaptop,2019/03/18,"[16M] I would really appreciate any input, I just wanna know why this happened So this happened this morning and I'm still a little shaken by it (also, I have anxiety and depression and I take Zoloft but I haven't taken it in a week) Okay so I woke up, did my exercise, and I don't know if it's because I haven't eaten today but I was doing a heavy aerobic exercise and my vision started blurring for a couple seconds and then it stopped and once I finished my exercise, I was walking around my house and I found this small switchblade and it was the weirdest thing, I wasn't really in control of my actions and it felt almost like a dream and I was holding the knife and staring at it for a bit and then I started running it across my fingers and I was walking around the house and bouncing it on my palm and I went outside and I started carving some wooden supports in my backyard and then I snapped out of it, put the knife back, and I'm really taken back by the whole thing, does anyone have any idea?",1.8740776699029096,3.9897595631067935,3.721174757281556,86.72904368932043,79.58252427184465,6.061747572815534,26.804854368932038,7.1686216300943375,1.4508493203883503,794,34,156,10,20,267,103,206,0.05,0.8690000000000001,0.08,0.764,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,0,11,1,14,7,2,1,0,39,32,28,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,1,0,16,22,1,3,5,4,0,6,4,1,0,1,14,3,27,3,17,17,3,31,0,1,1,0,0,12,0,4,14,120,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129270493237614,0.0,0.0,0.11283876646312355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190762853134846,0.0,0.10794221144110387,0.0,0.0,0.09866140401200467,0.0,0.0,0.25122038449824285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21699658744058026,0.0,0.08601412502238673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15404622189422226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158257257271762,0.0,0.15612605385844264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153045906986325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347881649440495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547950510637596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547104403102881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24955106566899976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256242223285057,0.0,0.15928634500885136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509131693366565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893503375412394,0.14142070638681192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150268423052099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184591449216075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27117957680199856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996169654748728,0.0,0.11268378813149756,0.11796711763038012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012023612894885,0.0,0.0,0.10609071870956056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18748304706557534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374766167073734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318305992142234,0.0,0.0,0.1308024437316028,0.12732209801899294,0.15753471297628754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023441091250128,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tomato_joe,2019/03/18,"My lifestory, just feel hopeless, life seems meaningless  

Trigger-Warning I guess

Hello,

so, I don't really have anyone to talk to. I feel like I am all alone and the friends I have at the moment will leave me soon enough like every other friend I had in my life. I also suffer from chronic pain and migraines, so my life all in all just sucks.   And I just don't want to feel the pain anymore. Not the physical, and even less the mental pain. I... I just can't take it anymore. 

I just want to talk about my life and I just want... support. I am crying nearly everyday, have breakdowns and panic attackt and I just feel like dying. There is nothing for me that gives me some kind of purpose in life.

My mother was a single mom. I loved her so much as a child, but at the moment... I do love her, but not unconditianlly. A part of me even hates her so much I wish she would finally die... and I don't know if I even feel guilty about these thoughts.

I have two older half-brothers (two differen fathers). When I was one year old my mother ran away from my alcoholic father with my brothers and me. At least that is what she told me. She came to a little town where everybody knew everyone. We where polish living in Germany. My mother came to Germany when she was around 25 years old with her first husband (as well alcholic).

I hated going to pre-school as the first person do every bully me was my teacher. Yes, she shamed me in front of all the ohter children although I only remember one time. I drew with pencil on the table at 5years old. She came to me and said: ""If you can't delete that you will have to pay for the table."" In front of all the other children, loudly. Doesn't sound so bad, but to a sensitive little girl who cried easily?

Of course all the other children started to act like the teacher because if the teacher does it they are allowed to act like that as well, right? Because a teacher is always right. (Fuck you Mrs. Veil) She even shamed me about my name, that it's written falsley which wasn't true at all because it was in my polish passport. Don't remember the things tho. But because of the size of the town every child went to the same school. After pre-school there are three possible schools a child can go to: Hauptschool, Realschool and Gymansium. The ""dumb"" ones go to Haupschool and the ""intelligent"" ones go to Gymnasium. Well, I went to Hauptschool. And the bullying from my first year in pre-school never really stopped. I was nearly drowned by a classmate when we were around 8 or 9 years old, they tried to inflict physical pain, wanted to shame my by putting stuff into my backpack and accusing me of stealing it.

The thing is tho... up to my 14-16 year I don't remember much. Really, I don't. My life... it doesn't feel like a normal life. It's as if I am computer where so many things where deleted.

And then there is my mother. My mother which I adored. I was so depended on her that it must have been unhealthy. I always wanted to be a good girl, to never make her mad. (I guess because I witnessed how she beat my brothers with a belt but I do not quite remember it. Just a tiny bit.)

Turns out she is a toxic mother. She sent me to ballet and to piano lessons. Which is fine but... she constantly critizised me. At every fucking turn. Everything I did felt never good enough for her. My brothers? Never really helped me with the bullying. Yes, my mom went to the teachers to complain etc but it never held long until the bullying started again. What she also did is manipulating me into hating my father but I only remember good things even though he was alcoholic. He taught me swimming, tried to make me happy with the little money he had. And the last time I saw him was when I was 14, too young to realize how I was being manipulated into never wanting to see my father again. But with him I remember feeling safe. Despite the alcohol. I think I was the greatest love he ever had. And now he might be dead. And I feel so guilty.

When I was 13 I tried to kill myself. No one knows about it. I wanted to drown myself in my bathtub. At that time I didn't know I had depression. Heck, up to three-four years ago I didn't know I had depression. Never even knew that was a thing. I was around 22 at that time. I slept with a knife under my pillow just in case I wanted to kill myself. The only thing I remember from that time is crying. But I went to the medical centre at the university and they helped me realize what I had.

When I was 14 my mother remarried. He provides for her and me and my brother, (the oldest brother has a job and lives with his grilfriend at the moment) but only because of my mother. He doesn' respect my brother nor me, is a choleric and my first memory of him is that I didn't want to learn for school. Somehow it escalated and I had a breakdown. (I was 10 at the time I think) I was so scared of him I hid under the table, crying, screaming. My mother held him back, but instead of coming to me and hugging me she went away and I was left alone. Please, for the love of God, never leave a crying child alone!

But with my mum it also got worse. When I was 22 I went to study for half a year in Great Britain. Sometimes I think it was the worst decision of my life... other times I think it was the greates. In GB the depression started and I realizied I would really kill myself if I stayed there longer. So I went on an Erasmus program for the second semester in Belgium. When I got back home after that one year... my mother was highly religious. Yes, she was religious before, me too, as we are from poland lol but... my God. She... She went crazy.

We had a huge argument after I came back. Around two weeks after my arrivel I guess. It was so bad we screamed and I cryed and I hid in the bathroom. Somehow she opened it up and stupidly I though she would try to talk to me and we could hug it out, but what does she do? Sprinkles me with holy water because she thinks a demon took possession of me, or something like this. From then on her obsession with religion got only worse. She started to believe every world in the bible to be literally true. Evolution is just a scam for her. No, she is not a flatearther, nor is she a anti-vaccer. Still.... the believe is destroying her.

I am a chaotic artistic person as well. I want to make my own money through art. My mom is very tidy and wants every room to look like a fucking IKEA catalogue. Which will never be possible while I still live with her.

Now my depression got worse again through the last couple of months. I can't sleep good as well and suffer from Insomnia. An houer ago my mom came into my room at around 4 am in the morning and critzised me for not being able to sleep, that it's my own fault and that my chaotic room is responsible for my insomnia. Oh, and my Assassins Creed poster is as well responsible for my sleep behaviour because ""It looks demonic."".

The worst of all which brought me over the edge and gave me a panic attack: ""Are you even human?!""

Yes, mum, I am a human. Just because I am not your ideal daughter doesn't mean that I am not human with feelings and needs.

Sometimes I really wish she would finally die.

At the end of the day... I just want someone to truly love me and be there for me. Like I would be there for that person. But... sometimes I don't have the feeling that I am capable of loving someone as I have never been able to fall in love, be in a relationship or hold any relationship I ever had in my life.

Fuck, I'm broken.",2.043333426235602,4.172578630769234,3.455613851727982,88.77893174005949,79.08026755852843,6.293246005202527,22.95719528056485,7.3871296695380915,0.9310082683017468,5803,188,1187,80,144,1900,472,1495,0.175,0.7,0.126,-0.9982,2,3,4,0,1,6,234.0,6,5,3,8,90,85,16,7,83,5,121,39,4,9,23,228,230,109,9,29,43,28,11,9,2,10,21,5,5,16,60,78,4,6,37,4,3,29,38,43,6,16,77,20,232,42,180,133,26,192,3,7,4,13,132,76,7,17,95,887,292,10,0.058854988448046985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052171396152394384,0.09434712555904523,0.0,0.09143402744454336,0.0,0.07059946949727228,0.04897206516359817,0.0,0.0,0.02001170518411117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05836833373329939,0.020576388184758383,0.0,0.0,0.1309835442522979,0.0,0.0334780229708281,0.05529619903468717,0.06788377982238065,0.04914145697960941,0.1614485460855451,0.0,0.025040630147280103,0.06630941761837396,0.0,0.0,0.032127202038451284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682860690918549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025349180585583025,0.0,0.031800666947319346,0.0,0.023495459600884352,0.03256096263899637,0.19394832357849154,0.01897829929863893,0.0,0.10138343061848697,0.0,0.0916232790071184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515043970076541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0260640253394462,0.06081293599693958,0.032819434866578456,0.13605607678361695,0.05323770656293707,0.1487635984869508,0.0281192318186145,0.02644753431277097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487942527693495,0.06306902326060126,0.028255009302407208,0.06447276303572765,0.0,0.10012404621564797,0.0,0.0,0.04547121807884984,0.1088209768871408,0.0,0.02822953392201152,0.06689729249753226,0.09872954390841633,0.09414342153483707,0.0648878325403334,0.09725310771838842,0.0,0.0,0.03132611480350462,0.0,0.08716067445982903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039449258146814346,0.03109176332922748,0.02951817607791476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029202247280494507,0.0,0.09767148693864518,0.030644206809503364,0.06469032492025358,0.04797467085582574,0.0,0.06231893477701319,0.03197305857808755,0.0,0.187069585003413,0.12939108513938427,0.0884822402777802,0.07795504960949882,0.026042406359021816,0.04942336728874592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185916237242848,0.0,0.058929242708319764,0.029834860315303913,0.0,0.032055168175507666,0.0,0.029645104501292936,0.029655992757307105,0.03121792098333807,0.0,0.1378605022932206,0.02348874513494421,0.0,0.0648977826766185,0.02182011409268804,0.226962976930408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02883269629091485,0.02823647437185868,0.0,0.12351681980305355,0.0,0.11964499005440908,0.11190467705522976,0.1252517145878868,0.06905364792811455,0.0,0.03186710855623976,0.0,0.0,0.07708485865515442,0.0,0.03230255174731486,0.0,0.06635015635066084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02958275962358709,0.0,0.03129976240911183,0.0,0.0,0.1131120380037869,0.0,0.0,0.06318823172864765,0.2333493008606203,0.05026183855643868,0.027992285835416908,0.0,0.02946205538612183,0.17869317128188636,0.023449902906025798,0.026789685522162383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834623922524883,0.0,0.049867640720373765,0.02265472275094259,0.08731363273991448,0.0,0.08331572749698148,0.03136579339011365,0.04700166980069822,0.024602702847249257,0.0,0.0,0.03368744042019812,0.0,0.03339397171383799,0.0,0.0,0.022125813359622517,0.07095811549080189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173019173945634,0.0942797503430828,0.057824727327108076,0.02336214333087222,0.12011585972167517,0.0,0.0,0.0281192318186145,0.03269502886082451,0.07991734762663523,0.06401732679609541,0.08623915762416373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02428076463133021,0.20828518240096813,0.0,0.023604960827423315,0.0,0.15875310844427226,0.21823665573694806,0.0,0.0,0.06768033213300463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996739202633712,0.10452223790344893,0.0,0.0,0.151602731695794
mentalhealth,heyyoooo15,2019/03/18,"Could I be having psychosis? I’m gonna try and keep this short and simple. I have been feeling a bit more depressed and anxious than usual lately (diagnosed with depression & anxiety), been seeing shadows moving, glitching, growing, and shrinking, I also sort of saw shadow figures in the corner of my eyes, light blotches over my vision, my curtains were moving despite there being no wind going through them, and felt mildly paranoid and disassociated for a large part of today. My boyfriend said it sounded like oncoming psychosis but I didn’t think it was but as I’m hearing more about the symptoms, I’m becoming more worried it might be? The hallucinations aren’t freaking me out too much as they aren’t intense but they are there just enough to have me low key panicked. I am well aware that it could not be but if it isn’t, then what’s going on? If anyone has a theory as to what this could be, I would really appreciate it! x",5.752790262172288,6.880102387640449,6.237696629213485,76.7611891385768,67.25842696629213,8.18052434456929,32.249063670411985,8.344100000000001,2.5628299625468167,747,31,130,10,12,242,120,178,0.123,0.792,0.085,-0.8695,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,3,0,7,6,0,0,6,0,24,3,1,0,0,27,38,17,0,6,8,0,2,1,0,3,2,3,1,0,11,8,0,1,4,0,0,5,6,4,1,0,8,9,15,2,17,19,7,16,0,3,3,0,5,7,0,4,5,100,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278351671061372,0.0,0.17320171655194153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228785434205408,0.1805894926115592,0.0,0.11177361703012363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17654615775178212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745191403200303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3828911779553152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27536399112903737,0.16224842106082465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651718891956538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082697349986827,0.0,0.15348488571425775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816973971532589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801670491410897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208555899607744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032224803339647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809657829169522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957980735671385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33979895750007005,0.11751106562640448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310627869379616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240655052293643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205773766861813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738292275965285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16614948838653076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242797340253566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152287831258274,0.0,0.0,0.1085303568278749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760565709122473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372792239873958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623394724454134,0.0,0.11355567834014167,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,H3yKate,2019/03/18,"Am I crazy? Okay so I’m not sure if I’m alone but I always feel like I’m being watched. Not necessarily by cameras or like physical people but more like spirits/ghosts or my subconsciousness. From the beginning of this year it has gotten a little better but...I don’t like to talk to people face to face about my problems. I don’t talk to my friends or family about my personal stuff so the only way for me to rant was to write it down in my notes but here’s the problem, since I feel like I’m being watched all the time I don’t even want to write it down on my notes cause it feel likes there’s something behind my back just staring at what I’m writting and knowing about all my insecurities and feelings that I don’t want anyone to know about. I’m having the same problem now I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I talk to myself in a whispery voice but when the thought of this comes again I stop. It just feels awkward. It feels like I’m always in a crowded room even though I’m alone. It’s hard because I’m introverted and when I finally arrive home I still can’t be alone and have the weight lifted off my shoulders. I prefer to shower in complete darkness cause otherwise I feel like I’m being watched again..
Edit: this might seem silly but the “spirits” can’t see my when I’m in complete dark (I can’t even see myself) or if I’m completely covered with a blanket (there’s no space for them) and no, I’m not a kid ",2.295234899328861,3.8947346711409416,3.7098067114093967,89.69593154362417,76.4496644295302,6.244510067114093,24.33610738255033,6.918507183188421,0.7761783624161076,1124,37,243,11,25,370,137,298,0.13699999999999998,0.733,0.13,-0.0393,1,3,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,1,23,18,0,2,13,1,19,4,3,2,3,51,51,22,0,8,16,0,9,8,1,1,0,1,3,2,14,7,1,1,13,0,0,1,13,5,0,0,3,16,28,13,33,43,4,28,1,0,6,0,10,13,0,8,21,151,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28888848464133193,0.0,0.0,0.15472867257705747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501170043824206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149359610314937,0.0,0.056677933842625115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822306263737577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19102604078608826,0.0,0.0800914776581416,0.2924539375538641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423135212561464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765046811371874,0.0,0.3290838562521329,0.3321140401588963,0.0,0.10185179049084192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183382189722418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328915535470298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326354088139553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329323059051198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633910389986271,0.09318740891083732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863393463663493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707132201922759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891712989448426,0.08118395535398604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26689937953767423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818130853126812,0.08464279514767438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691155911336851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157825930241128,0.09195665900955202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425157539172958,0.07773295940544267,0.0,0.0,0.10643645354393687,0.0,0.0,0.08762974941077288,0.0,0.0,0.22419424179445052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913494588349963,0.07381337532050328,0.054215653259523065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968052120704222,0.07380083782516575,0.0,0.11322097305629625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598741582471139
mentalhealth,GabbyTriesToDraw,2019/03/18,"Local mental health center asked me to do a mural for them and I'd like to get some more insight from you guys I'm an art student that recently got tasked with making a mural for my local mental health center, I've been struggling with my mental health for quite some time now so the chance to give back to the same center that helped me a while back is amazing.

The thing is, even though I have a basic idea of what I want to make, I'd like to add some details inspired by other people's experiences and struggles. The way that you guys can help me is by sending me any drawings or even descriptions of how you view / viewed the world.
If you just want to vent, that's okay as well, we're here to listen. 
 
Every response is much appreciated. ",4.501799999999999,5.2365275800000015,4.970666666666666,86.14200000000002,69.86666666666667,7.066666666666667,24.333333333333336,6.742157984588678,0.7435333333333332,587,14,120,4,10,187,95,150,0.034,0.794,0.172,0.9557,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,4,1,1,11,8,0,2,10,1,8,3,0,3,0,20,18,9,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,2,7,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,3,13,6,19,16,6,14,0,0,2,0,13,6,0,5,8,79,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611289990334418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212949442414587,0.0,0.0,0.2173563546968313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670136115462949,0.0,0.11908114708444024,0.0,0.0,0.1382531144466222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738418987341805,0.1355817679304304,0.0,0.0,0.11303880862836654,0.0,0.0,0.27988847900133657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4506986755149616,0.0,0.0,0.18946824194353915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955043216329926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809864776608335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18868491727536826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272984391675601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389776105135473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798415151552513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032756597943234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955162952739472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955088370939528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389694132583208,0.0,0.13886128589234856,0.0,0.08241379229963093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672652915944888,0.11218544007848152,0.0,0.0,0.12707747358250904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ultruxlux,2019/03/18,"Medication for Anger issues that don't have major side effects? I have some issues with obsessiveness but for the last 15 or so years I've chosen to go without any medication as I have always believed I could handle my anger on my own. However, I've realised in recent times that I'd be a whole lot happier if I wasn't so angry all the time. Furthermore, people wouldn't find me so abrasive if I didn't have this constant underling aggression in me.  The reason I didn't try medication sooner was because  have a very fragile digestive system due to another condition I don't feel like getting into here. Anyhow, certain drugs can aggrivate the gut which is something I can't risk.

​

Despite my apprehensions though I did eventually try Clomipramine which was prescribed to me by my a shrink and my GP. They said it was the least problematic medication they could get me here in the UK. Despite this, it came with a ton of side effects (that were also listed on the pamphlet) and sure enough, my gut fell apart resulting in me being sent to the hospital.  


With this in mind, I'm wondering if there are any other medications out there to deal with anger issues that won't have major side effects like Clomipramine did?",10.244545454545452,8.041361095238095,9.765320346320348,66.19369480519482,59.259740259740255,12.87636363636364,40.84891774891775,11.407655852321104,4.613640346320347,987,41,172,21,10,320,133,231,0.095,0.8109999999999999,0.093,-0.1061,1,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,3,9,11,4,3,12,0,27,9,2,5,3,33,36,13,0,6,6,0,2,2,0,2,7,1,0,0,12,9,1,0,7,0,0,4,9,7,0,0,12,3,22,4,24,18,10,25,0,0,0,0,5,13,0,8,9,121,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320373685296382,0.0969776297291558,0.12628017452025356,0.14161909853606838,0.15851385716412952,0.12221119023076285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104684077563375,0.0,0.0,0.13131016892729613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330035433421727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259474475521893,0.0,0.18610887442701332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015631304781085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515917638245822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204256828898809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05893038777387832,0.08326222122365452,0.0,0.0,0.10652315298399703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217834879651856,0.0,0.06623715826600493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649388400639064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500252544164008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387935099537405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908530683225507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5870514053276011,0.0,0.0,0.11768068943306795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080800006103759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983119649758416,0.11507751348764207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110864245644988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972467496390836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984551537963247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450824009941885,0.0,0.13592065283718893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825746619386846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616466016255357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301221591982533,0.0,0.11234852686451932,0.1263918000198949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161909853606838,0.07505336731874022
mentalhealth,Masterstothemax,2019/03/18,"Should i seek mental health accomodations at This relates to a bigger problem where idk if I have an anxiety disorder. I went to go see a therapist last semester who said I had one. I want to go back, but I was too busy/forgot to schedule the first two weeks of the semester 

The issue that made me being this up is that last week was my spring break, I had a bad fever/illness the week before and got a little behind, planning to catch up over break. There have also been several projects with the implication that they needed to be worked on over break. Come break, and on the first Sunday my grandmother died. I had a hard time getting work done due to feeling very emotionally unhappy/unsettled and having to take a 12 hour drive down to where she lived for the funeral. I came back to school very behind and with a test in a week.

Over the past two semesters, my mental health has gradually declined to where I have a hard time functioning. last year I survived but had very bad insomnia and my appetite more than doubled due to stress eating.


 In general, my symptoms are that I always feel incredibly stressed, I have a hard time focusing in class many days because I'm stressed about future assignments. I have a lot of pain in the area between shoulders and neck to where it can be distracting. Many nights I toss and turn for hours because of how stressed I am. I suffer some other symptoms where I just feel drained and unhappy all of the time, but idk what's going on there. ",6.9403671328671335,6.8034886573426565,6.770760489510495,78.35690996503497,64.52447552447552,10.226923076923079,33.60926573426573,9.827888789773867,3.047476223776224,1180,45,227,22,16,373,161,286,0.213,0.763,0.025,-0.9949,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,6,14,10,0,5,22,0,23,9,2,2,1,30,42,14,2,5,5,0,6,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,10,12,1,0,3,0,0,8,0,10,0,5,13,8,26,0,40,25,5,61,0,1,1,0,4,22,0,3,27,156,36,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087780255874378,0.07374770073223186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780211260796648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630281296597646,0.14800558035571346,0.1080566965005276,0.0,0.07541805280536927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136971450421836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634735343048063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057159359418769325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198449684529343,0.0,0.10157826559506854,0.0,0.0,0.09069980371885554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906911584922032,0.0,0.099697416539774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344427765574402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507781665270747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046305793664307836,0.0,0.15111231751479515,0.0,0.07088593113304392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23818663733239195,0.0,0.0,0.18842021698549305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456643693594556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250724604483856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673713312988724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883107480865897,0.07826238148847013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535050687086046,0.0,0.08386435017382649,0.0,0.17971489195489035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786374555761069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571841471969811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317374810204621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060058340683048016,0.0,0.09430913248980613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460786932703583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480744708325988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430792990677881,0.0,0.0,0.08969882778795295,0.07062705711659313,0.0,0.0,0.10012727085402548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4061038891597687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842421127093978,0.06663912810912258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290687614866424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067246984023364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640456538772303,0.1731582979431318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21938840736234133,0.052276582739400536,0.0,0.2843762591724799,0.0,0.0,0.08216138895881632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904816237396075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057075155243814485
mentalhealth,dennis_fara_p,2019/03/18,i just feel... lost alright here goes nothing. i've liked this girl for about 6 years now.. and i've recently tried getting in touch with her after we each went to different highschools. she said yeah sure we'll go out and so on... but after a while i had an incident when i got a bit drunk and called her.. she straight up rejected me. and i felt like shit from then on. it has been about 3 months since that mistake.it seem like i keep thinking about her more and more... i just don't know what to do.. feels like i'm slowly diving into insanity. ,1.1439189189189172,3.407570891891893,2.15623873873874,96.07868243243246,83.32432432432431,5.501801801801802,20.06081081081081,6.816661863887847,0.1467351351351356,423,12,95,5,12,133,83,111,0.172,0.677,0.151,-0.7591,1,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,0,0,1,9,9,1,0,3,2,6,2,1,0,1,21,20,10,0,0,3,0,4,4,0,1,0,1,0,1,4,10,1,1,6,1,0,2,1,3,0,0,7,5,14,6,16,12,4,18,0,2,0,0,10,7,1,1,13,59,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23193177744837126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21692716112108126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22195680364396772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21483424219509806,0.15176869587809955,0.20397775447374344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099224159727024,0.0,0.1207357548353142,0.0,0.1699093735700443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888283209926136,0.0,0.0,0.11675263554315995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151539638027851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319056738832346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695692766104946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20384394763361285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20976096830277755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20208110874021426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933993309782024,0.0,0.0,0.2180687874746666,0.1757343203407269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20022418777951528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361243350621638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442342571710797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19693597737238014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368057627075304
mentalhealth,Numbers4321,2019/03/18,"Does anybody have a similar story to me? My name is Victor. I have had this thing since I was 12-13, sometimes I have periods of time where I lose many of my emotions. Emotions such as fear, disgust, stress, anxiety, empathy, guilt, mostly everything that isn't anger or happiness.  

From the beginning preschool all the way to 5th grade, I was the victim of quite severe bullying. The bullies would piss in my face, force snowballs with rock and salt into my eyes and of course beat me until I bled they did this at recess or after school every singe day. This accompanied with having no friends made my school feel like hell. However, my home life wasn't much better. Whenever my parents would hear me crying myself to sleep and walk into my room telling me to shut up and that I should stop feeling sorry for myself. My father was also almost always away and when I overheard my mother telling him she did not honestly love me, my home felt like hell too. This left me being depressed and suicidal for most of my childhood, I attempted suicide twice at the age of 11. 

About a year after the abuse stopped, the emotionless periods where I only really felt happiness or anger started to occur. These periods of time would last from anywhere between a few hours to weeks. I guess, I just wanted to know if anybody has gone through something similar and whether anybody has been through the same emotionless periods as me.",8.217648017381858,7.909802695817492,7.619318305268872,73.89525665399242,61.965779467680605,10.860293318848452,37.03666485605649,10.290406445055957,3.8272261814231374,1131,48,195,22,14,354,164,263,0.256,0.693,0.051,-0.996,2,0,1,0,1,1,29.0,0,0,1,6,8,20,7,3,11,0,21,6,4,1,1,38,34,17,2,6,7,3,4,2,1,4,1,1,3,0,8,11,0,2,5,2,0,2,4,12,0,1,12,7,36,8,36,17,6,36,2,2,1,1,12,12,3,8,23,140,44,3,0.0,0.13503444653978236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412333680197215,0.0,0.0,0.09114084520891172,0.09483120997407823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718585547172189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707748272222464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079618297075796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251894260939042,0.0735004774549678,0.0,0.09816120031650846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973490541811307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563992245964175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602366844232256,0.0,0.10242785029924792,0.0,0.0,0.12824663731088354,0.11525214613815983,0.08141936656753211,0.21885593029618045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805204793809203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554953315888193,0.0,0.0,0.24264391225317555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284511727815946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286400905777833,0.0,0.11223635632794833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626342973827038,0.09289982095237076,0.0,0.0,0.12382748497140765,0.0,0.08049956659967142,0.111358843025087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750198690589093,0.0,0.0,0.10286133342502404,0.10784007801883752,0.0,0.11554652202868225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837802154527494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667844324273295,0.0,0.0,0.1265489165105857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121989674078758,0.0,0.0,0.07301136127776423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306851139203136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875235637467902,0.0,0.09427620737948536,0.0,0.11405115323605924,0.0,0.0,0.08773878589445687,0.1127181031648372,0.12757879266403055,0.08066773600434399,0.0,0.0,0.19056611738494425,0.1305509283741243,0.0,0.0,0.2493268399160599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992275900898489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571583732919918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291230157940326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672217783777045,0.09046316537842404,0.09141893400563307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24288059545302426,0.0,0.0,0.07339220040067929
mentalhealth,ProJoShiZone,2019/03/18,"I'm getting worse, and I don't know how I'm starting to worry about certain symptoms that I've been having lately relating to mental health issues. I'm too scared to talk to anyone I know about this, as I'm worried about how they will see me or treat me if I tell them.

​

Symptoms are irrational anxious/depressive thoughts, a feeling of needing to self harm, feeling like the world isn't real or that I'm not a part of it, suicidal thoughts and seemingly a loss in intelligence and memory. I've noticed I'm also less hygienic, have a lot of aches and pains, especially in the legs, and have become more paranoid lately. 

​

Before this, I was aware of anxiety and depressive issues, including suicidal thoughts that I'd managed to deal with before. I know that if I can bounce back once, I can do it again, and I don't want to stay in this dark place forever.

​

I need to try and break the cycle. Assuming I can't get to therapy or that my access to it would be limited, what would be some good steps to take in order to improve my mental health and exercises I could practise that would help me get back on track to where I should be? ",11.907609170305676,6.916069078602625,11.186850436681222,65.84263373362447,59.087336244541476,14.594104803493453,45.2188864628821,11.698219412168324,5.0711,925,38,176,18,8,303,126,229,0.179,0.7290000000000001,0.092,-0.9634,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,2,2,11,9,0,1,7,0,22,7,1,2,1,41,46,18,2,10,6,0,2,1,0,5,6,0,0,1,13,10,0,1,10,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,5,3,19,4,27,32,5,18,0,2,1,0,7,8,0,9,7,116,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263309123200007,0.0,0.29522805886610115,0.3310886425205633,0.0,0.0,0.06948123182423976,0.10260692256541244,0.0,0.06350727665055672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967835192309713,0.0,0.0,0.10030958986424826,0.15457156153824403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251674295348949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363706587720234,0.15645567915655992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184816781047626,0.06488573006313278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235766972328046,0.0,0.0,0.07618009052749494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19308644337439693,0.0,0.0,0.06087839440754567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18959637570668286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974590017095812,0.0,0.20491016031128167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04437273423562809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721656205964714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830614118934911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469186232183467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340539344236467,0.0,0.0967261555841166,0.0,0.0,0.0966446980133956,0.0,0.0,0.0983551272926282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489327929974303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337926294766704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093213470216396,0.0,0.0723761360793535,0.08268409181246007,0.09475076788305796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642867313250405,0.09680786055862124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19869663342159485,0.0,0.0,0.18880486835221816,0.06828944601603952,0.07300206804377389,0.07938545936104936,0.0,0.10386683429600332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21631582078569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06166452852817611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05357121223194107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447533616305475,0.09255890787120624,0.19355941244109795,0.0,0.3310886425205633,0.0
mentalhealth,MassiveZee,2019/03/18,"Intrusive Thoughts?! I have heard this many time. Excuse my ignorance but i am still unsure what it is exactly. 

I always imagine horrible stuff, i.e death of loved one, an accident to a friend, a wall falling on my class mate. What's weird, is that i try to replay this in my head to produce different scenarios, but it always end up in a horrible way. Sometimes i cry from thinking or imagining these things. 

Is that what intrusive thoughts are? If so, they are symptoms of what? Can i get rid of them ?

Thanks",2.3532146204311166,5.030128670103097,3.420224929709466,86.24743205248362,81.88659793814429,7.650984067478912,27.37488284910965,8.575989854853784,2.43898762886598,399,18,76,10,11,128,69,97,0.269,0.61,0.121,-0.9581,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,1,2,5,0,0,4,0,8,3,1,1,1,12,15,5,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,13,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,3,1,11,3,11,12,0,10,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,2,3,54,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3746057847216509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472639715004118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351836742274553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937355373254306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739132429250542,0.0,0.11760650163019615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310195887675017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20316333903009992,0.0,0.0,0.2282180917455533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525349374778574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22263162886955595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976674396004594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25768792906149457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339671627895038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072436735626002,0.0,0.0,0.14954776315895688,0.1442362691573162,0.0,0.35741167974048565,0.13125878348995784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282947850237766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867548597266758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AwkwardOption,2019/03/18,"It's been over two years and I still feel very lonely Hello reddit, I feel like it would be good to share my experience with you all. I’m currently not feeling very good.

I’m 18 and I’m currently in college. A couple of years ago when I was 16 I met a very beautiful girl, and after a few weeks I had a crush on her. She had a boyfriend, although their relationship wasn’t doing very good. Two months later I moved to another state (to study) but we kept texting each other. The following months I got closer to her to the point in which we were very good friends. Five months after I met her, her boyfriend broke up with her. I was very happy by those news, but I was also sad that I was far from her. I was still in love with her, but she didn’t know it. I kept it that way for over 18 months (until I turned 18). As I was really into her, I wasn’t interested in any other girl. I even had a 5 year plan on all the things that I would do in order to finally be with her.

However, not being with her made me feel very lonely, and that’s how it’s been for the last two years now.

A few months ago I told her everything I felt for her, and she told me that she only saw me as a friend. It was very awkward, and long story short I don’t talk to her anymore.

Weeks later I met a French girl online. I just started talking to her because I needed some help in French and she needed some help in Spanish (which I also speak). As we kept talking, we realised that we had the same sense of humor. She liked my memes and she laughed at my jokes. We started doing calls and we kept doing them frequently. We even got to call every day for hours straight. At some point I told her that I didn’t know how it happened exactly, but I was starting to have a crush on her. She told me that she felt the same for me. I told her that I loved her, and she did the same. I promised her that I would move to France in the future so we could be together.

At some point during one of our calls she told me about her ex boyfriend, and how she lost her virginity. It made me feel even lonelier as I’m still a virgin. A few days ago I told her that I wasn’t feeling very good, and that I was going to take some time to heal mentally, because I didn’t want to do something I would later regret.

After all of this, I thought it would be good to get a girlfriend. I saw a cute girl today at the bus stop and approached to her. I introduced myself and told her that I saw her waiting for the bus and found her cute so I wanted to talk to her. She gave me short answers, not even staring at me, so I stopped talking to her and simply walked away. It was extremely awkward, and I’m worried that if I stay single I’ll feel even lonelier.

I’m currently in my room. It’s almost 11pm in France, and it feels weird not calling my French friend. My self-esteem is not doing very good either. I feel empty, and don’t know what to do.

If you’ve come this far, thank you very much for reading. I really appreciate it :)",1.9592421833598301,3.3004774308426086,3.4025119236883974,92.63526762056172,76.758346581876,6.459565447800743,21.71330153683095,7.048011613610866,0.3815053524112351,2300,59,531,24,51,756,232,629,0.076,0.76,0.16399999999999998,0.9963,4,4,1,0,0,0,72.0,10,2,2,2,20,33,0,2,24,0,46,5,0,5,4,103,110,40,0,13,13,1,11,2,4,5,1,1,1,4,36,36,0,7,17,2,2,7,13,9,0,5,52,16,117,24,70,47,18,88,0,6,4,4,93,33,0,8,46,366,153,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530441290276465,0.0,0.05094831621607642,0.0,0.0,0.08137639035145816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0345997004847915,0.05335143126945678,0.0,0.0,0.05045864024051205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780282107260542,0.0,0.0,0.062031155009553876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078140065406697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382805201889745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040623018251766466,0.05629702938559451,0.0,0.06562593895946413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168026643212029,0.0,0.0428680440050241,0.0,0.04572707609692709,0.04976976405615965,0.0,0.0,0.23153513801456999,0.036348215450387904,0.09770430356274593,0.055735837349689434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05578657750681098,0.11792777115185545,0.0,0.02658235868442519,0.0,0.02891590524599405,0.2987262744181913,0.08138572294941368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04499243825733317,0.05416201066234096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682067072080755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050105907637969835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388587501335526,0.04147345833842176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971415756746875,0.0,0.0,0.04502662075197893,0.0,0.0,0.055540817226535685,0.0,0.09184119372252413,0.09628653612194664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127441452598764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305704560297566,0.1081533870237211,0.03740217407894724,0.07545278177997669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03447716209340673,0.038696035878366265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429228487601845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050893115376229085,0.0,0.06518922467541183,0.0,0.0,0.054625377294451515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053078254983832465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03916940683150587,0.0,0.0,0.10803799041161408,0.05423061387229742,0.1218969360002686,0.08507482413912644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0382549367074008,0.20447445802005795,0.0,0.046842866587781334,0.0,0.0,0.033801977149570867,0.0,0.0,0.040392518003550135,0.02966815622305275,0.0,0.04822767150804335,0.3889391692853658,0.0,0.0,0.05534211884004171,0.14910518601013048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4617886850032383,0.060019913847018075,0.040385657173735205,0.08162468585960812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167044631857614,0.0,0.18071614048815904,0.0,0.0,0.13105852452582134
mentalhealth,TheAnyKeyTouch,2019/03/18,"The constant need to find something to worry about Okay, so I have this strange behavior where my mind is in a constant urge to find something to worry about.

For exemple 

Friday night, I came home after work and prepared to have a chill week end. Then suddenly my mind race about a gouvernemental web site I have lost my password for. Made a demand for a new one, didn't get any respond but can't call the hotline because it's the week end. So I end up panicking during all of the week end and numbing the pain by sleep.  (I didn't even needed that site for anything, but of course my mind is like ""but what if...?"")

Made the call Monday morning, everything is fixed, then I had another panic attack after reading on a site the required diploma for a job application ""what if I had lost it?"" Came back home, find my diploma but didn't find another official document. Learned that it's wasn't mandatory to have it past 25 (i'm like 30) but still made research. Then find that document because stressed me didn't take a good look. Was relived for about 20 minutes. Then....well you get it, find another thing to worry about.

It's endless. I'm going to see a shrink but I would  like your opinion into what kind of mental disorder/illness this look like.

I don't think it's OCD because my worrying are not only about material things and not anxiety disorder because I have no physical symptoms.",4.117682539682541,5.765802725925926,4.9828042328042335,82.23833333333336,71.74074074074073,8.253968253968255,31.005291005291014,8.841846274778883,2.6144179894179898,1096,49,208,21,21,356,138,270,0.174,0.753,0.073,-0.9807,1,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,0,2,0,4,12,14,1,2,16,1,20,4,1,3,1,36,39,16,0,5,10,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,2,0,17,6,0,1,8,1,0,3,10,7,0,1,15,3,19,7,30,23,1,32,0,2,3,0,5,8,0,3,25,127,36,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390439207861898,0.2493556096274647,0.06063916616429847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652301248419779,0.0,0.0,0.0901778463970852,0.0,0.060951558927781875,0.0,0.19328211827696876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618812812111031,0.18132104518308328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131929575405824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084704132621486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808287306091394,0.0,0.0,0.052355216539152725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124021896146357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.434692530227532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828276467612533,0.0,0.045049357995841366,0.06648553928337915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902286407986582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866043260693159,0.0,0.0,0.08254455697804756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490373638078195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312891348676345,0.0,0.17305895404858074,0.0,0.0,0.22501353143031969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988266099081895,0.0,0.2401117278995003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755120060296817,0.0,0.07655672430458835,0.0,0.07438686698200145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371348414007219,0.06028625278974959,0.08434585495774441,0.09300294198146136,0.0,0.0,0.07566948063394943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928861830895055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631656697329116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793244132880523,0.0,0.0,0.12204747635087235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330286234923746,0.0,0.09080027254133684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238893787605878,0.05959904503002556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053231677600152,0.05079120025816601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907500213103479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057707441998440974,0.3219986252144629,0.0,0.0563091214971089,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaycandie,2019/03/18,"Are most mental health issues nature or nurture? I mostly hear that mental health is a mix of nature and nurture. But do you think conditions can mostly be attributed from nature or nurture? Is it rare for someone can be severely mentally unwell when they come from a stable and loving environment? Feel free to give this a thought and reply below. 

\* The exception to this question would be some conditions that we know obviously to occur naturally, like antisocial pd. ",5.464390243902439,8.489016597560976,6.39530487804878,67.46783536585366,72.04878048780488,8.978048780487804,29.76219512195122,9.516144504307137,3.6157512195121946,379,16,53,10,8,125,60,82,0.032,0.758,0.21,0.9397,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,4,0,10,3,0,1,1,21,18,7,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,7,9,13,4,3,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,7,2,43,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17551618886654732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302423813326303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954595806654324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331623416496657,0.2296457750519284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21266643228326812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197797151872314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954400283625296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18389610718018412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6160088853653285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282513186887392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301842328812267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264025985881673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055745460205267,0.0,0.16175806343502794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474112712779036,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mkXSunny,2019/03/18,"A helping text for your Mental Health Hello fellow reader, I want to give you a little help and maybe a little understanding on how I hopefully can help you with your mental problems. I really want you to read this text consciously. Try to really think about it and self reflect.

First of all, I want you to tell the harsh truth. If you are in a depressive, psychotic, borderline, eating disorder kind of state, it is your own fault! I had to accept it and so do you.

Two weeks ago I saw a documentary on Netflix about women from the Kongo who got raped by groups of mercenaries. After such a traumatizing event these women still managed to let the past be and find happiness and joy without beeing mentally destroyed. These women live in a poor country with so little to themselves and they still manage to find strength and joy after such an horrifying event. 

If these awesome women can overcome their past trauma so can you! Most of us do not even have a traumatic experience. Some of you guys took too many bong hits and ended up psychotic by their own. 
So.. let us find out what is happening in us. First of all please try to be open minded and try to reflect on who do you think is actually really you. The I, which you think you are is created by your mind with thoughts and believes from the past. So you identify with your mind. You think you are your mind, but this is false. You are the creator! You are that thing what perceives the thoughts. You are the consciousness. Just ask yourself, who is the  I that perceives this thought? Try to think in this way, you are a beeing with body, mind and soul. You live in a body, with your mind and your soul. So for example, if you are schizophrenic or depressed your mind is in a suffering state. And why is that so? Because your perception of the world is delusional or negative. You create your own reality with your thoughts and feelings. 
So for example, if you think you are being followed by the government and you also create a feeling with it, it will become your reality. This means you have lost the control over your mind. Or another example would be, you are actually happy but thoughts arise which make you feel shitty really quick.
Now is the question, what can we do about it? 

The tools that helped me are awareness of thoughts, meditation and being conscious about my decisions and in general. 

Awareness of thoughts
Everybody of us has a really insane amount of thoughts over the day. How many are we really aware about? Let's take for example your first thought of the day: You stand up in the morning and the first thing you do is think about something negative. Creating thoughts cost yourself energy and if you are not even aware of your negativity in your thought pattern you wont even change it. So: 
1. If the thought is negative, be aware of the thought. Say to yourself that this thought is not your reality and create a positive one
There is also a book from Napoleon Hill the books name is ""Think and Grow Rich"". It is about money and wealth, but let us not talk about that for this moment and just talk about our mentally healthy well being.
2. How you think and feel will eventually be the outcome of how you behave in your environment 
3. Try to realize that you are conditioned by your thought and believe patterns 
Since you are young your mind created patterns and concepts for you to understand and get along in the world to survive. If your patterns are working against you. Change it!
4. Being aware of delusional thoughts
This one is special for me, because I suffered from delusional thinking of my surrounding quite a lot. If you believe for example the ringing of the bell or a car honking is a sign for something please be awere of a) what it should be a sign for b) can this actually be true?. If it can not be true quickly say to yourself that the thought that I had is not true and there was no sign. This is just a delusion. Over time your subconscious mind will remove these patterns and you will life good again. 


Meditation
Meditation helped me quite a lot by lowering my thoughts and just be in the present. Taking the moment for what it is and enjoy it. It also helped me with my awereness, because I really think that the awereness of thoughts and changing the thoughts is the most important thing you can do. 


If you are the creator of your reality in the sense you decide with your consciousnes how to feel and how to think, you can also for example meditate on good feelings mixed with good thoughts. For example visualize daily with a positive feeling combined with a thought your day or this moment. 
Also what me helped immensily is telling myself over and over when I felt shitty and thought negatively that it is just my mind telling me this garbage and it is actually not the reality, because everything is really fine at this moment. 

For me it was something totally different and it will always be for everyone, when you read about something and then you forget it or you really realize and becoming conscious of it. 


So for the end, let me tell you. You are the creator of your life and reality. It is your thinking, feeling and doing (in what your are in control of!) that got you right there were you are now. Don't let outside things influence your being so stressfully and negatively. 
Try to practice positive emotions (gratefulness, compassion, love, joy,)  combined with positive thoughts (""awesome to be alive and get to feel this moment"", ""I am so thankful for having this experience"") in your daily life.  


Your life is not really that long and that is totally fine, now promise yourself you will make your lifetime worth it and say to yourself I will work on myself, stop my suffering and will be joyful again!


I really hope that I could help you, have a wonderful day! :) ",5.733158627767189,7.175763001857014,5.8015201827689005,78.70876319454628,67.54224698235839,9.456721888286175,32.8340052778185,9.747274676799606,3.212338718662952,4591,201,835,102,76,1448,336,1077,0.08,0.782,0.138,0.9964,3,0,4,0,0,0,122.0,8,86,3,13,59,40,2,1,62,0,112,11,2,11,8,218,186,91,0,19,33,0,10,0,1,11,6,4,0,6,72,65,1,3,69,5,6,5,18,12,1,7,35,15,129,28,132,114,13,88,2,6,1,2,131,38,0,25,41,656,201,9,0.0,0.0,0.12140291461778667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027569740447603432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435991068699577,0.025879068327013883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03261279690110586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029075848858938682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583712045700078,0.0686986684717678,0.0,0.1051227435602992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909385431812752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870428065969618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976630105688746,0.024832140623624276,0.0,0.0,0.08023197757975221,0.0,0.053575619476900205,0.0,0.0,0.032494609656137124,0.03564519096560025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03182475743613252,0.0,0.03498517552469183,0.0550936694528396,0.0,0.0,0.061627049081837415,0.0,0.0,0.02971896403004789,0.027952161922303383,0.06084677274286066,0.0,0.0,0.14153338067729726,0.0,0.0298624660354709,0.0,0.08527904720441996,0.10582020686837908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03249866195900215,0.029835541334308536,0.0,0.07825977741081735,0.04974966912871583,0.0,0.0,0.03079552808503718,0.02750309065863777,0.06621657981639527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033059604714070844,0.0,0.0,0.1667742691464486,0.0,0.0,0.061781921838991574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032387587462403576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908212956419356,0.08787207438974368,0.0,0.0935160865373516,0.054926662061743466,0.027523985819815838,0.0,0.0,0.03395113024769828,0.052883029475490284,0.028070457781162864,0.0,0.04152119222562764,0.06306439281638299,0.03124579263152185,0.03387881988136001,0.0,0.0,0.12537261155851825,0.0,0.3454418583157173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042150572471051466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907014630601724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828055472139226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029760083309933943,0.0,0.0,0.034840971366888226,0.06616087659760772,0.062220142775427624,0.0,0.21916968142020316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02656064329527752,0.0,0.07419985276909283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03244580901513392,0.0,0.0,0.025727610277801342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577429353532664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049675643458881806,0.026002376084660186,0.03562684053564822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04676914757926511,0.049996664098415626,0.10873686875809847,0.0286342251359148,0.0,0.0,0.08265022994919177,0.2590728996770892,0.0,0.5925897564715686,0.018135625049043803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03455508290354488,0.1266958924134203,0.0,0.03038179752973107,0.06475583909069436,0.18705730662305847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055033685519003374,0.024687045947701443,0.02494787148831323,0.0,0.027964122858140504,0.0,0.028064405938534362,0.0,0.0,0.029980885398894562,0.033728417964269515,0.04528475028227831,0.0,0.0,0.022093723246994167,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HypeLock99,2019/03/18,"Are there any therapist/experienced individual here who can help me. This is a very long and 100% true recollection of the past 3-5 years of my life. Some details are hazy and others ive purposefully forgotten or left out for sake of identity. I had multiple 'public episodes' when I was in high school and I'm genuinely afraid, idk why but this all just makes me anxious but it also feels necessary.

 About 4years ago when I was 15 my grandfather died, I didn't really feel anything. My mom came to get me from school and took me home (this is how I was told) I walked out the doors crying but once I sat in the car this overwhelming sense of peace came about me and I've always been curious/extremely afraid of death, I think about it almost everyday. Eventually however this new family problem paired with what I didnt know to be Autism & Attention Defficet Hyperactive Disorder [I know I'm butchering that word] (ASD & ADHD) I was having trouble saying anything at all, the smallest things send me into a blind rage or depression. I lost my girlfriend at the time, but I didnt care, I would have several more and lose them all before the end of of the year and then my friends too. Eventually I transfered to a smaller new school and I finally had what I felt were real friend with shared interest. Eventually a girl who was unlike any other came into my life and I cant even remember how (it was only 3years ago). She dated my other friend at the time who was doing everything I had ever wanted in a group of friends. I was finally accepted, i was being invited places, I was trusted, people wanted to be around me and when I talked it wasnt stupid or weird to them, or maybe it was idk anymore. Anyways, my new bff (the girl) was dating my other friend which they then together exposed me to cannabis (this wasnt the first time, just the first time i actually smoked) The room started spinning and after a while when everything settled my gut was empty and I could eat for once (I also have bad anemia and chronic stomach problems, as a result nowadays I legally use cannabis to actually be able to consume food so this was a miracle moment for me). Months of this went by, us all partying and enjoying eachothers company until one day I found the girl, ill call her by her nickname i gave her at the time for simplicity, Whittles. Whittles was being abused by her boyfriend my other friend so i intervened, long story short she told me she loved me and that she really wanted me so now my bff of the last year became the woman of my dreams overnight. The next day she took my virginity, the day after that she broke up with me for my other friend, and I was cast out of the group. It quickly dissolved after that and after another ""episode"" I had smahed my head into the computer until it was broken then ran out into the woods adjancent to our school in a moment of fight or flight. I was banned from the school district afterwards and pursued my GED while in isolation (I moved from the mainhouse into the barn, my mother is an alcoholic bipolar who would rather fuck than worry about what im doing) After a good long 5-6months living in the barn I had a new roommate and she became my fiance after a year of living together, we moved to her parents for a year, eventually she cheated on me and left me for her classmate who was giving her rides around town, and I had asked her several times if they were doing anything to which the response was 'no' so that stung, im poly and could've cared less if they had at least told me, and they knew that, she just did it to hurt me. Now without getting to much into it, we kicked my mom off the property after I turned 18 and exposed her to my Grandma in Alabama who had given her the property in the first place, she transfered ownership to my aunt and had the entire hosue redone because my mom was also a hoarder and neglectful owner of 12animals. 3cats and 9dogs. So thats why i lived in the barn too if you're wondering. I live with my aunt on the farm in isolation once again and I start college the 4th this April. Im still not well adjusted to other people, im fidgety and nervous, Im scared of cars when I walk down the street and the background chatter from shopping with the bright lights can give me extrenely bad anxiety or a panic attack. Im going to see a counselor but i have a rough past with trying therapy and a lot of my past therapist I either thought were quacks because they wanted me on 'just more magnesium supplements' and others just seemed off putting or upset with constantly and I could never figure out why. The only ones who diagnosed me I left within 2-3months of meeting them and 1/2 doctors thought I was making most of what I told them up for attention or inventing symptoms. But I really was trying to be honest, i still dont know really how to put it into words but I recently discovered BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and I believe that combined with my Autism/ADHD may explain why im such of a mess of a person with a lack of therapy/medication in my life. My entire life was a sheltered one and I never really woke up into until I sat down in that car, ever since then the voice in the back of my head has gotten so loud, it's not its own personlity but I genuinely feel like my own thoughts are the only real thing I can trust about this world and even about me, it feels like everything is out for me, even the people who say they love me i can almost hear them constantly talking about me when I know they arent, othertimes ill hear a plane and the first thought ill have is that this is the end and world war 3 is happening, and unless I see the plane I think a bomb is going to land right on top of me. Im living everday terrified but i don't know where to go or who to talk to without being called crazy or a liar. I just want friends again.",5.952434498929553,6.0464881057192414,6.591441023549803,78.0316900295647,66.55632582322357,9.907819349576918,31.355336935467427,9.701314574385464,2.801191191762668,4630,166,895,90,68,1522,462,1154,0.145,0.746,0.109,-0.993,3,2,2,0,2,0,99.0,4,0,12,7,55,53,8,7,70,0,84,24,4,7,9,173,154,91,3,16,35,7,6,2,9,3,14,6,3,6,59,70,3,2,28,2,1,21,16,28,1,7,68,17,153,25,140,74,16,166,0,7,4,4,96,62,1,21,85,647,212,11,0.040708365324055334,0.048232756227846535,0.07945098460796549,0.0,0.09784708857043008,0.0,0.07217101931512353,0.0435048623269767,0.08152709512170703,0.0,0.0,0.09766339512635927,0.03387262102876773,0.08821499364167716,0.0,0.055366168739372,0.04268627047003109,0.031141788049206594,0.04598886564067317,0.040371759737391995,0.0,0.0,0.10049854825253908,0.07247815162609621,0.038056826352612386,0.04631164240654305,0.0,0.03130222015676802,0.06797956931206132,0.04963088332031548,0.0,0.03463982057799072,0.045864387505859625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0512707610617622,0.0,0.08313558492791825,0.13967857529536787,0.08300978303640387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798256200714932,0.0,0.09750695172427197,0.0,0.04471622779090203,0.07876058374493422,0.0,0.035062055403056826,0.04131813389955795,0.04224885618434943,0.0,0.09331062693748456,0.041666736870306094,0.0,0.0,0.047709900979708036,0.0,0.0,0.041654820581053,0.0,0.0,0.0721110575882762,0.0,0.0,0.08066247410040417,0.07364609406701249,0.0,0.0,0.10975816158813599,0.0,0.03837622387578485,0.0,0.08233349062944907,0.058164128642842275,0.0390864146352625,0.08918804880665117,0.0,0.13850605899505364,0.04922471693718005,0.04463462140361305,0.25160945654319083,0.03763422777622948,0.04253688141200291,0.07810234681054916,0.06940650641492306,0.03414424543850661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035998273014621086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835570543723222,0.0,0.09176257262816837,0.0,0.027285959181201316,0.043010623009212726,0.040833809577254944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043579147029839005,0.0,0.3517761611243349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186126483187303,0.033182751012247824,0.0,0.0,0.13268927410696654,0.0,0.11501408927107692,0.03977610207675167,0.0,0.17973116196483546,0.1080768668827162,0.0,0.04554224800103979,0.044437989569283465,0.0346087964535918,0.0734817781313124,0.0,0.0543462999188884,0.0,0.04089702454420337,0.0,0.04521781683098311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430314363938106,0.03249302882120152,0.08653309987931868,0.029925332477727613,0.0,0.0627936018580582,0.15726557159941218,0.043293808348468375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005924147839898,0.0827551256530656,0.09288163865442184,0.0,0.04776249560048407,0.04520182218212705,0.0,0.11658222284807987,0.08466616456347288,0.07108994881223363,0.08506315485949131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790481566059257,0.0,0.08184630175324817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926700638682774,0.13039410611929153,0.0,0.04019459966371916,0.0,0.04611464229060119,0.03476472156001404,0.0,0.06474585203966528,0.04075617532112857,0.2059951951192228,0.06487859326689256,0.037059366891743266,0.0,0.09197773128134634,0.0,0.03367438046469852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762718100234564,0.0,0.0650195062658596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0423115785263891,0.0,0.09815952612601107,0.0,0.0,0.04655356351727418,0.09453109947642298,0.05408965812898176,0.05216855353581236,0.0,0.12927157959507146,0.1424242511307525,0.0,0.0,0.15559435034322158,0.09045698346007527,0.055276615775506965,0.04427901177119961,0.0,0.0,0.04896715119601813,0.035158957283825,0.0,0.0335886647172519,0.12005424292752358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03660170930446288,0.037737062495059336,0.146931871695114,0.0,0.0,0.07848282298197022,0.044146485691334364,0.0,0.04134132101765487,0.0,0.05783610949229731,0.0,0.0,0.13107426296253735
mentalhealth,ireallyhatepeoplern,2019/03/18,"How to open up to a therapist? I truly believe I have Borderline Personality disorder and this is something I've thought about for 2 years now. I'm at the point in my life where I just got out of a long depressive state and I found that no one is left. I drove my all relationships away, but that's a whole different story lol. I called an hour ago to set up an appointment to finally see someone...but now I'm scared that I wont be able to explain myself properly or open up to them. I want to tell him/her that I think I have BPD but I feel stupid saying a ""self diagnosis"" out loud. Really what I'm asking you guys is:
1) How long did it take for you to open up to your therapist? Also how long for your diagnosis?
2)  How serious do therapist take self diagnosis? 

Thanks in advance",1.4258333333333333,3.489765950617283,3.8735648148148165,85.32479166666668,80.85185185185185,8.247530864197532,23.70524691358025,9.017664075816787,1.9049987654320983,612,22,134,17,16,213,100,162,0.104,0.825,0.071,-0.6322,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,1,1,10,5,1,1,7,1,9,1,0,4,1,22,25,10,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,4,7,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,5,4,19,1,24,18,2,29,0,1,1,0,15,16,0,1,9,84,26,0,0.13465343585026454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936214635784695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768230400051017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588278564229152,0.0,0.1265113355013799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517083113426456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959128868642295,0.0,0.1374962131597879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597680698822052,0.0,0.0,0.14068418094063362,0.15432450331099254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808482304894754,0.0,0.0,0.14750625716601842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764054223323755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769465347491937,0.0,0.0,0.13332807167478886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326065104433984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630135204194838,0.0,0.09510970391623644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35749216029290704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124465299044968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757418635930975,0.0,0.0,0.1272910207153158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626243900396191,0.0,0.0,0.1445673974615732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070818167813043,0.13481157976792507,0.0,0.10730135473355132,0.0,0.2809458008299688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366279348920016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20248525186508445,0.0,0.11769303802356243,0.12397079247126926,0.0,0.4690290523044559,0.0,0.08628048462541174,0.0,0.10689978713036948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942208521471016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033575237539978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671239790126012
mentalhealth,TheNorthRemembers111,2019/03/18,"I feel like I'm slowly drifting into a black pit As a teenager, I've always joked around about depression and stress, and all those issues, with my friends. I took it all lightheartedly. But these last couple of weeks I've grown more and more tired and stressed during the day and during school. I just thought it was ""seasonal depression"", just not enough sunlight and not enough exercise because of the dark, cold and watery snow etc. Maybe it is just because of that, im not sure.

But it has just gotten worse. Im at a point now where im so mentally and physically exhausted i can barely finish the schoolday. I couldn't make myself go to school the last days of last week, missing schoolwork and increasing the stress. I thought rest would help me. It kind of did, on sunday i was feeling pretty well, clean, and on my way up again.

But then i was kicked in the face by Monday and lost my grip. I feel how im gliding deeper and deeper, but i dont know how to stop it. Im afraid of my emotions, of depression. I dont know what to do, i dont know what is going on inside of me, why, all of a sudden, everything feels so pointless and empty. I am not considering suicide, too many people love me and theres too much in this world that i love. i know this, deep inside of me.

I want to open up to my mom, she is understanding, gives me time and space, and is understanding...but i just cant....i cant express what im feeling, what i wamt, what the problem is. I really cant. Im trying to sleep rn but my thought keep me awake. I decided to write this so that my flurry of emotions is hopefully put to rest for a moment at least.",3.3715540540540516,4.367835918918922,4.5269557057057055,87.31944256756758,72.69369369369369,7.592042042042043,25.28641141141141,7.9370924344782425,1.2319870870870866,1263,38,273,17,24,415,169,333,0.099,0.7879999999999999,0.113,0.7614,0,0,0,0,0,1,52.0,0,0,0,1,19,20,0,4,12,0,21,7,2,3,4,63,48,28,1,5,14,1,6,1,1,1,3,0,1,0,19,20,0,2,14,2,0,7,10,11,1,0,10,8,35,9,35,36,13,43,0,5,1,2,9,17,0,1,19,177,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386600873749164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832790207020335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357783163849867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492754869357808,0.0,0.09900078542985834,0.0,0.19832597555626832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26986759751308304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267727705717328,0.0,0.15861612079288098,0.08560171219842562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689821208013943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19404725971245115,0.054833529784386624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059300444067996075,0.0,0.0,0.07363004415254427,0.08724286086137388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051447016928434015,0.0,0.0,0.076234675648452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5803572726424528,0.08011190214095439,0.0,0.06822305023692511,0.0,0.07992814570148075,0.16872937021488396,0.1876958264566272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03749843982577687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378675590820284,0.0,0.13854811767282801,0.0,0.0512343178657813,0.07781715732075704,0.07711035188741999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735062371700904,0.0,0.0,0.08989410610519273,0.0,0.0,0.05642349152348496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321200270850311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255794360528843,0.0,0.0,0.07808706214723657,0.0,0.0734438240466608,0.0,0.07715961245610299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04917098746896141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535958578690706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681007076769568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417031545470908,0.2637665406096337,0.0,0.0,0.0839571178144985,0.0,0.0723403393607664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18280383052398816,0.04475624752816405,0.08821816702441182,0.0,0.0,0.08527722863727966,0.05211136190345656,0.0,0.0,0.07990428660163239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04527187501239022,0.0609242601888012,0.1231358840527688,0.0,0.06901163875864955,0.0,0.06925912371474324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821953496751699,0.054524293691954086,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShitInHandsAndClap,2019/03/18,"I don't want to be like this anymore. My name is Andre I'm 23 and a male, i have depression, social anxiety and more than likely other menal issues that i don't know about.

So basically i stuggle to act like a normal person eg. not freaking out in my head about a phone call i have to make or meeting people etc, 99% of the time i won't do what i need to do because it freaks me out so bad.

I think i have had depression since i was about 14-15 and social anxiety since a very early age.

I was apparently hit and abused as a toddler/young child i don't actually remember it happening because i was so young, so i have a feeling that's where some of my menal issues come from.

I'm generally a shy person, i self doubt alot and have a very large lack of trust in people but i get along with my family very well, so i can't make friends easily but when i do, i push them away eventually. (Idiotic of me i know.)

What should i do? go to therapy? Suggestions are very welcome.

(The funny thing is posting this freaks me out too)",1.9363617571059424,3.4365478790697708,4.271124031007755,85.71510981912148,77.18604651162791,7.75452196382429,23.572351421188632,8.515128840125781,1.4086227390180883,794,25,175,16,18,277,120,215,0.138,0.7609999999999999,0.101,-0.3414,1,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,1,0,13,15,1,1,11,0,23,1,1,2,0,32,38,15,0,5,4,0,1,3,1,2,0,0,0,5,10,11,0,0,5,0,0,4,6,8,1,0,4,1,29,7,23,30,5,17,0,2,0,0,15,7,0,4,8,118,39,0,0.0,0.15344275237918806,0.12637861394332173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19814259212998367,0.0,0.12843458298823598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167461035131205,0.0,0.10813162087938376,0.15789061076469926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223951904938716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155745690733833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22308566650025025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14443278268859733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208618950995508,0.0,0.06548183435490144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005557051892383,0.0,0.0676612397045287,0.0,0.07360091778721511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452122010543304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290992891864248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703400353925969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423455900329435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18980942803913275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289175434607745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602663207948682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268878204223077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956551162918527,0.22615828464613003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240303990597599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670440156116024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351024029204518,0.0,0.0,0.2142564525551269,0.0,0.0,0.26402894466733146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810074061299053,0.0,0.08603765021589811,0.08298184748515944,0.0,0.0,0.07551565508652619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4274221558983848,0.07638565535246566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644093053544476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,newfoundrapture,2019/03/18,"Is this a symptom of delusion, and if not, what could it be? Hi all. I’ve been having moments that I obviously experienced but can’t grapple with the fact that it could be real.

For example, let’s say I went to a party but the next day, when I try and recall things that happened during it, it doesn’t feel real at all and that it feels like it never happened. I’ve searched for answers but I’m not sure what it could be that I’m experiencing; that the moments that happened don’t feel like they happened at all, as if they feel fake and that the whole day or event previously feels as if it’s not real.

I’m not even sure it’s mental health but it feels like it could be and I’ve had moments like this before. Does this seem familiar to anyone? That’s the best way I can describe it. It feels like a transplanted memory that I never had... but I obviously did experience it. Many thanks.",1.6182513661202158,3.7159444043715912,3.4635245901639347,88.33878415300549,80.36612021857924,6.252459016393442,22.188524590163933,7.3871296695380915,0.7790196721311466,698,22,149,10,18,234,84,183,0.048,0.794,0.158,0.9712,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,2,10,0,0,8,0,19,2,0,0,10,45,36,17,0,7,13,0,7,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,30,6,0,0,9,0,0,1,9,1,0,0,5,10,8,9,10,22,5,14,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,5,15,102,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756289603348802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203737833697416,0.0,0.11350870813283405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454322821380868,0.0,0.0,0.13951030005775553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465276323978757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143957948300572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580259615892626,0.0,0.0,0.38282754863464336,0.3090820809241169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3825870478127689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497050210101667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060235172837317,0.0,0.2642109640381721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965867513396674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900124355134536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668414672743278,0.0,0.11503086771610417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693340317490872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601428039310699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846606924145783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038816643055965,0.11242110079929722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958047803724934,0.0,0.0,0.0718576229072294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343448543365677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585347866516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002666942331281,0.0,0.12075833177481166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,peachmelonade,2019/03/18,"I can’t afford a psychiatrist but I can’t live like this anymore I can not afford a psychiatrist. I barely live at my means right now because I live somewhere with high living costs (Florida). 

I used to take Zoloft but I haven’t in about a year because I couldn’t afford to keep going to my psychiatrist. Even places that offer sliding scale are too expensive. I really don’t know what to do. Zoloft is the only thing that ever helped me.

What are my options? I feel like I can’t continue this way for much longer. I really need help.",1.6482398753894074,4.125640981308415,3.4370327102803766,86.30234034267914,83.11214953271029,6.557320872274143,20.1316199376947,7.793537801064563,0.9500722741433028,423,12,84,8,12,141,66,107,0.0,0.888,0.112,0.8877,3,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,0,11,2,0,1,1,13,19,2,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,3,0,2,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,16,2,9,18,1,12,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,6,55,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770829735666174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176963416077996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179368190525034,0.1615172265685819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028501259060998,0.1275628920064897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147943860405573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393692432460023,0.1886578407026897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871182511770798,0.0,0.0,0.09813159263902124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744702355918536,0.0,0.630684989910671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945035650540928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126172588453056,0.13239955434573727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358024922177743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655659923494652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22877948543599294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524887770339354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342544688770736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862695065791808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421801635153626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173216376182016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498641820143896
mentalhealth,eternal_n0mad,2019/03/18,"Every now and then, I get a feeling like everything is going to change, this is the turning point where I become happy. And I go straight back down again. The other night I went to a reggae show. I haven't been to a concert in about 3 years, it used to be something I absolutely loved. I felt absolute bliss during this whole experience, I actually cried TEARS OF JOY at one point. When the show was over, I was ecstatic, I felt like this was the turning point, I remember who I am, I remember what it's like to feel happy and excited to live.

The next morning I even woke up with an afterglow type feeling, like wow I am a new person or something.

As the day went on, one small thing after another brought me down one notch at a time. The moment I think I completely lost it was just one single thought to myself saying ""You're going to fail at this, why even try?""

And I just completely spiraled down from there. I'm so disappointed. Getting a small glimmer of hope and happiness, just to have it smashed to pieces. I'm just so tired. I'm tired of surviving and not actually feeling alive. The moments that make me feel alive are so few and far between, it's not worth it at all.",3.5464453860640286,4.938735970338981,4.723333333333333,84.55095103578157,72.77118644067797,8.125800376647835,27.941619585687384,8.680891452615391,2.0019235404896425,923,35,190,17,18,304,133,236,0.112,0.6779999999999999,0.211,0.9738,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,16,15,0,0,15,0,13,3,0,2,1,30,41,14,0,1,7,0,7,4,0,0,2,2,0,1,15,8,0,0,11,3,1,6,3,3,0,4,13,9,21,12,30,27,5,39,0,3,0,1,4,19,0,2,18,129,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.19652788585378395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055876466711145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742835636705962,0.0,0.0,0.11120988419621082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652211914263557,0.0,0.21115390218726532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060889622028852,0.06494004275456976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301639646891356,0.0,0.08484000852804788,0.0,0.09049830977992174,0.09849918056603296,0.0,0.0,0.2545724720752189,0.14387327345417553,0.19336627410662474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052181217887127,0.0,0.17168212625088586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215755852506835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001300645233303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19677825988488992,0.0,0.08891566405950331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992065340330863,0.0,0.0908813061045175,0.0,0.06721479588790401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725200529774404,0.10709043654105152,0.09449557889956127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729345640948492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792312275587137,0.0,0.0,0.2855683986416127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281359557969969,0.0,0.0,0.08007682649839445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504009509900038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689738466486532,0.0645213875261104,0.0,0.07994070295087154,0.058716152915217125,0.2314685287968337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683653984221561,0.2190548201265773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696828085779165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18669082949898624,0.090861712574312,0.11242254120563537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648443764843861
mentalhealth,AmIAPD,2019/03/18,"[Canada] How do I find out if I suffer from antisocial-personality-disorder? I'm a guy in my mid-20s, who's coming to slowly realize I might have some disorder related to empathy. Let me explain:

I had a somewhat difficult childhood, which I'd go so far as to say was bordered on emotional abuse from my mother. I moved out as soon as I could when I was 18, and got therapy for depression I was suffering at the time. I'm no longer suffering from that depression.

I lie. A lot. Even when I don't think about doing it, I'll find myself slipping small lies into almost every conversation I have. It's so natural to me, it might as well be second nature. I got into a rather high-paying position early on in my university career by lying, and I advanced through it by doing the minimal work possible by lying. I honestly place a high amount of my self-worth on how successful I am.

I... Really have trouble forming emotional connections. My grandfather died recently. He played a huge part in raising me, and was one of the better influences in my childhood. I didn't feel a thing. When I broke up with my first 3 girlfriends, I didn't feel a thing. Hell, I broke up with them because I just got bored of the relationship, and wanted something new. When I got dumped, I wasn't sad I wouldn't see her anymore - I was upset that the relationship didn't end on my own terms. I've only really ever been with one partner I connected with, and I broke up with her about a year ago.

I know I'm not going to feel any sadness when my parents die, nor any other family who I *should* love (Uncle, aunt, cousins, etc). It's not that I hate them, or even dislike them. I just don't feel any emotional connection to them.

The only thing that really keeps me from breaking any major laws is the chance of getting caught. I've been in positions before where I could steal a cellphone, laptop, or similar device. The only thing that stopped me from doing it is knowing the risk of losing everything else I've worked for wasn't worth the relatively small reward.

So, that's it. How can I properly get this diagnosed? I'd like to find out if I'm just a terrible person naturally, or if I'm actually suffering from APD.",3.723259068061406,5.327452713625868,5.56429357424263,77.85232543132727,72.67205542725173,9.34354027985328,28.43968210840919,9.773937934552695,2.869814617579133,1727,68,328,46,34,594,217,433,0.195,0.698,0.107,-0.9903,1,0,1,0,1,0,65.0,0,0,4,8,23,30,3,2,21,0,34,2,0,4,1,59,62,27,2,9,12,4,4,1,2,4,1,1,0,3,22,16,0,2,12,1,1,6,12,22,1,4,18,6,54,8,53,36,10,51,1,12,1,1,24,25,1,12,20,231,76,5,0.0,0.1028705900712586,0.08472633856703822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769630011181556,0.0,0.08694029781698084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361693958064051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610469463494765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292625439857213,0.0,0.07387964241535798,0.0,0.0,0.07678753891939437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478998676032238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864157119754994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956036563140662,0.08812311688787289,0.18021631378430614,0.0,0.199012455511226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725291459851891,0.2929912352431797,0.07689905807710963,0.0,0.09683015554943278,0.11469102405729226,0.07853601727971624,0.07315178968470437,0.0,0.07803055938700748,0.0,0.08184862536488242,0.0,0.17560047208722446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380628652570269,0.07385126380689662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072245570983116,0.0,0.09868657496245413,0.0,0.2777598757636518,0.0,0.0,0.08596802958473036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857193479011155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18346569901123436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717192094458741,0.0,0.0,0.09543086665015056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878199644140905,0.0,0.04241713942326728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971322870894482,0.0,0.07381347431233094,0.07836079116176715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842101277511527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922786892296794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385381332917248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11766648882261888,0.19809751136820725,0.0,0.0,0.09640622854322672,0.09402042085598687,0.0,0.0,0.07581015013846486,0.09071114340203036,0.0,0.0,0.09787944226160697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686235273316102,0.0,0.08572684848347123,0.18642997151085414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904482062484177,0.0,0.0,0.06918637554974746,0.0,0.09057491274743876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684028341197765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725875857802051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928921594940808,0.0,0.23072432444856086,0.05563241980244457,0.0,0.0,0.05062695942243954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05121022216591654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806394923773735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641578157887035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591091129196928
mentalhealth,whatisafoot,2019/03/18,"Life is falling into disrepair, because I can't finish things. Avoidance. I think there's something wrong with my brain. Doc has no clue. Hello! I'm 38, white male, college educated, live with a woman but not married. No known conditions, exercise probably 2x/wk and eat mostly whole foods, meat and vegetables (keto), in decent shape. Accomplished quite a lot before about 22. I do drink alcohol, usually every other day. Would like to cut down.

​

(I wrote out a list of things I'm not getting done, but omitting it to make the post more succinct, I can list them if you want).

I have the discipline and attention to sit down and write this post for instance, but I keep avoiding the important things.

​

I've analyzed that moment, when I'm pacing back and forth in my kitchen and thinking about the things I need to do and instead doing something else, and it's -avoidance. It's this feeling that I'm not ready yet, and that I can always do it later, when I'm ready. That's the best way I can think to describe it. I know consciously about the negative effects, but that's overpowered by not feeling ready.

​

there is one other thing, which is my mother passed away 6 years ago, it was a slow death from cancer and I temporarily moved back home and helped my Dad care for her during her last 3 months. Basically exactly what you think, I watched her get frail and waste away. It was pretty terrible and I do wonder if I have some mental scarring from that or something. I don't obsess about it, but I do have some mental baggage about it that may be affecting things. 

​

I have regular HMO, my GP and all doctors I've seen just seem to have no clue, tried Zoloft for a while, didn't think it made a difference so stopped. Don't really feel depressed, just can't finish things. 

Not sure what to do. Any advice other than go see the Dr.? Thanks very much.

​

**TL;DR: Putting things off because I never feel quite ready. Can't finish things. Tried depression medication, docs have no clue.**",3.7543080357142884,6.093690546874999,4.053440476190477,85.54275000000001,74.52083333333334,7.096904761904763,26.33601190476191,8.052868069273773,1.7247093154761903,1606,59,298,26,35,500,211,384,0.152,0.748,0.101,-0.9681,1,3,5,0,0,0,86.0,0,2,1,5,16,14,1,4,13,0,32,14,1,4,4,72,62,26,1,5,15,2,4,1,0,2,8,0,2,2,34,18,6,6,16,2,0,5,17,9,0,1,7,8,30,5,31,52,9,39,0,2,4,0,14,10,0,10,21,195,64,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647512645673537,0.058737995271415024,0.07081480688218669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055135977645843416,0.35897870977602603,0.4025829190152725,0.045060992465823714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451220848831415,0.10190404275848963,0.0,0.08078640477713066,0.0,0.05638478260722904,0.0,0.06953874553732396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397122584616253,0.0,0.0,0.06755936509894551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042734039595441885,0.0,0.11414414616916893,0.0,0.0,0.06923054759823012,0.0,0.06782280800488773,0.0,0.06780987475775724,0.0,0.06491234085072567,0.0,0.06780341132881351,0.055354086665323925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055829286984263635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340178988509384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012526962015447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923918112697068,0.0,0.03765868982030472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044414574065065854,0.0,0.06646701506015877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058897442429124175,0.0,0.0,0.03641631506441646,0.05401304541756752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046803392108492485,0.03237266866771234,0.0,0.05851128744916696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056334283254731686,0.0,0.06269948609321675,0.04423094945793071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675282382442561,0.13355468251296765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289035381141534,0.07042689516880915,0.048710799826654175,0.0491330442702452,0.05110597472524318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490140433489783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692293702053428,0.0674131137687988,0.07144253142974198,0.0,0.0,0.06661243988219083,0.0,0.14095733922953094,0.0,0.0,0.042449661713730914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280289153028809,0.06032318617378046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303707732103847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055398687789934994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062451927288616024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100590550826901,0.0,0.0,0.3961986822697037,0.2122927097318262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997621557386469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297913892754837,0.0546737692790673,0.03908353031623313,0.052596345290125635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739800764446486,0.0,0.0,0.07185920588054674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04707120888846472,0.07244799576564742,0.4025829190152725,0.04267108604622069
mentalhealth,morose-melonhead,2019/03/18,"Advice on OCD and taking medication? hi! i'm wondering if i can get some advice on my situation.

i'm prescribed some psychiatric meds to help with my conditions. these meds include lexapro for depression, buspar for anxiety, and seroquel for psychosis and insomnia.

i also have obsessive-compulsive tendencies. i hesitate to call it ocd, because i haven't been officially diagnosed despite meeting the diagnostic criteria. this makes it very difficult for me to consistently take my meds. if i miss a dose, i consider it ""ruined."" i can't bring myself to take it the next day.

this is really affecting my health--my sleep schedule is messed up, and my depression has gotten significantly worse. i KNOW the best course of action is to start taking my meds again, but i can't bring myself to.

i'm currently unable to see a therapist due to financial reasons. i live in the states, and i do have access to health insurance, but i still can't afford the co-pay. i'm also a full time student and i work part time. i'm just hoping someone who has experienced something similar could point me in the right direction.

thank you for reading! any suggestion is appreciated.",4.576226415094343,7.257099452830192,6.0770188679245285,70.37316981132078,73.33962264150944,10.277735849056604,31.826415094339623,10.355215969177356,4.242036981132077,932,45,151,32,20,315,127,212,0.07200000000000001,0.847,0.081,0.7838,2,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,2,5,9,0,0,9,0,16,6,1,3,0,21,37,12,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,3,1,0,3,4,6,0,0,2,2,24,3,21,34,5,22,0,4,1,0,7,8,0,6,10,98,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314963022668668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944914233266436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055018849448592,0.0,0.09061406828517256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220613413613987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430616269603605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095088370781705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457283535830144,0.0,0.0,0.07639057100560788,0.0,0.20404194373752652,0.12022444570859615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188533347563707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518140180520633,0.0,0.0,0.07939466303492483,0.0,0.0,0.11764776164000365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509712463475169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459368458562182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906641911690239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5262858170577676,0.11932610107677535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597311688765522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827000884549394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197371251014344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848224057398445,0.0,0.075882222415797,0.12178651933762236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115581187491833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438946266095848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331429722372648,0.11853572957928846,0.0,0.10036245844233936,0.09118874034420747,0.0,0.0,0.08383965150263079,0.0,0.0945944717646505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562391950739838,0.0,0.0,0.1090530172342496,0.0,0.13752979580835706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813851233198932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977338087809114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845417426463027,0.08623314634045909,0.0,0.12071085929303392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NiceStrawberry,2019/03/18,"a friend of mine is having suicidal ideation, but cannot afford therapy. Need advice on alternatives (US) Hi, my friend reached out to me saying she feels like she wants to die. She's been dealing with severe depression, anxiety, and panic disorder for the last 5-6 years. She is 21 and lives at home and has stopped going to therapy for the last 6 months because she cannot afford to pay for it under her current insurance plan. If anyone can recommend other inexpensive/free resources for her to seek mental health counseling that would be great. In the past she has also tried an app that connected to her a therapist that she did a few sessions with over the phone, but even that became expensive. Thank you",7.032800751879697,7.574662007518799,7.04111842105263,74.19220394736845,64.26315789473685,10.860526315789475,33.16635338345864,10.686352973137794,3.628309022556392,569,22,100,14,8,182,95,133,0.179,0.6679999999999999,0.154,-0.7274,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,0,1,2,7,0,1,8,0,12,1,0,0,0,14,17,7,2,4,3,0,1,1,2,1,1,1,1,0,6,6,0,1,1,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,2,2,15,5,19,13,1,14,0,1,0,0,18,6,0,1,8,69,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049144444986016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134104607729707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564159828178004,0.0,0.0,0.11483900805160235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001179427245483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932213644381164,0.14145792376865834,0.0,0.17045308407440554,0.0,0.1882309436853156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847763088537736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304365294035752,0.11733163930418485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25377969798126265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334022378919166,0.0,0.0,0.181072942846939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17457728306739828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474407606633487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677517338424882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023837665399618,0.0,0.14502513737889708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551324559270034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109318153668806,0.0,0.0,0.12178037445042048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269787192981025,0.0,0.0,0.1567837272406135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060862657477446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855421587588458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373102978519461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964968338103648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120825763656456,0.37564086665676943,0.19069294298042594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150680145065553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975580570342376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096871810559429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666994238626255,0.0,0.0,0.1057638685755495
mentalhealth,Kinquaza,2019/03/18,"I´m destroying my life and I don´t know why Hi, let me thank you right off the bat for opening my post, I ask some patience of you because english is not my main language.

A couple of weeks ago I broke down, I found myself crying to my girlfriend about a ton of stuff. As of right now, I´m not happy, I´m in my second year of college in biology and I haven´t been happy with it, I like my career it´s just that what I like is really far down the studies, right now I don´t like my subjects at all. I used to be a straight A´s guy back in elementary/middle, when I got into high school I kinda lost my drive for the A´s, I didn´t care about them anymore. That started a downward spiral with my dad, he used to really scold me and try to get me to work since I wasn´t pulling the best I could do. This situation only got worse by the day since I don´t like giving up my stuff just to please other people, the climax of this situation came during my third year of HS, my dad came home early and saw me playing LoL, he got pissed since I wasn´t studying/doing homework and closed the laptop on my hand, took it away and then smashed it on the floor. 

I had a girlfriend back then, kinida a toxic relationship since I was in constant pain about it. I´m not going to go real deep into the deatils since I feel this is long enough. Basically all the blame of everything was mine, I was the bad one all the time and that really marked me.

Right now I´m struggling with my own beliefs, ever since I stopped pulling the A´s I kinda stopped caring about them, but right now in college I see that it is really important but it isn´t. Like, it helps but and the end of it all it comes to your skills and knowledge and all that, but grades really help. It´s been eating me slowly how I can´t pull off what I used to (not studying yet pulling a good grade, doing everything last minute and it coming A-OK, etc) but the worse of it all is that my current girlfriend has been something that kinda pisses me off.

My current girlfriend is incredible, straight A´s, really smart, beautiful, I love her a ton. But something inside me kinda gets annoyed at what she is capable off, I´m constantly comparing myself to her and I feel dumb/stupid/useless and that I have to get better; that´s all fine and dandy but it gets worse in a way I can´t really control, it gets dark. 

I don´t like that and I don´t know why it´s constantly happening, as of right now I´m looking for a therapist in my area. I really don´t know why I´m posting this but I believe it´s because I´m getting really desperate, I don´t want to hate my girlfriend just because she´s better at school than me. I really hate myself right now, it´s annoying that my ego gets the better of me every single time, i don´t like feeling inferior but I don´t like feeling like I have to be above the one I love and everyone else. 

Any advice will be well received.

Thanks for your attention.",3.9327272727272735,5.450585505226487,4.648598352866647,84.96982182451696,71.99651567944252,7.5178333861260676,25.93744060817232,8.07648339933343,1.5157644599303135,2296,74,452,33,44,737,247,574,0.101,0.726,0.173,0.9925,2,0,2,0,0,0,59.0,0,4,2,8,20,39,7,1,27,1,25,8,3,5,8,77,70,31,0,2,16,2,5,9,5,1,2,0,2,1,33,27,1,3,11,1,0,13,4,13,1,4,16,8,81,26,62,48,16,87,1,3,3,2,28,39,2,5,41,295,114,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628707725206048,0.05105985341852638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039170687722091424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057124761545587224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053849204114857385,0.0,0.054118080510352766,0.0885833005018453,0.04809446890825675,0.10533919229971003,0.0,0.0,0.06489665589880209,0.060448745954594964,0.15283033761538534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176050715776386,0.11745621426339713,0.0,0.0,0.0992364046535275,0.0,0.1867388085454158,0.06460447301431005,0.04598974962133557,0.06373446379149532,0.0632720462617727,0.03714791060951712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058940252007716624,0.04811828422450954,0.0,0.05101743144620841,0.0595172800989236,0.06424039443650052,0.0,0.05210344544933808,0.04853136707688442,0.05504026960314061,0.10353621523540976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164992819242154,0.0411502000512483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315657580804952,0.0,0.0,0.2106591905271989,0.055256173705639816,0.06547200575278295,0.048313026024034665,0.13820645962337474,0.0,0.0,0.0570340933370955,0.05093641633135359,0.12263477292167248,0.0,0.1137382190240534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721753631289413,0.06085866950834935,0.057778547436914164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496808840547197,0.04695254185924426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890097395686269,0.040685323520267117,0.2532686616851376,0.0,0.0,0.050975114695922384,0.04837037294999708,0.0,0.06287834798936108,0.0,0.1039743890531766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806392142026665,0.04380819244780998,0.061291576025640775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0399333138901075,0.0,0.0,0.06322865320469533,0.0,0.0,0.11033176276738144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556260286056656,0.3690070617415058,0.0,0.0,0.06184196873735675,0.0,0.3443368606081918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165906710756868,0.045900577456767996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858890917939784,0.12949198221315153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868820144445343,0.0,0.0,0.04077031809755894,0.0,0.0,0.09631411031521384,0.0,0.060217121679640724,0.1318788375819009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606261172255516,0.0,0.06687925608592372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717526836477904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399688351340288,0.039107330418127376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924643345455532,0.0,0.0,0.03397459037892221,0.045721030628550416,0.046204086096437606,0.0,0.05179025957200973,0.0,0.15592795908502832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041934248817142895,0.0,0.17610116608317167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418637250596337
mentalhealth,JasleneMontoya,2019/03/18,"Intense withdrawal symptoms from tapering off medication. Help. Good news: finally better enough to start discontinuing anti-depressants for anxiety
Bad news: withdrawal symptoms are the worst

I get occasional brain zaps, intense brain fog, intrusive thoughts, and get upset over the smallest things.

I really do want to stop taking medication. It’s expensive, and I was (for a very good period of time) doing very well. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, starting to doubt I can do this, but then again maybe that’s just what happens when you wean off medication. This is the second time I’m doing this, first time was okay but I think mostly it was because I had a break. I’m now doing it in the middle of trying really hard to perform well at a new company I’m working at. It’s sad that my work is being affected and it’s becoming apparent to some colleagues that “there’s something off” with me.

Any advise how to cope (specifically with intrusive thoughts) will help. I feel extremely critical of myself, my mistakes, and what colleagues think of me. My anxiety isn’t as bad as when I first started seeking treatment, but it’s bad enough that I’m doubting if I should discontinue it
",6.951976516634054,7.975066484018271,7.4294357469015,69.65886986301372,64.52511415525115,11.188649706457927,36.19080234833659,11.062562989136584,4.417061056751468,956,45,159,27,14,314,124,219,0.177,0.718,0.105,-0.9659,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,6,9,15,0,3,8,1,18,7,2,2,0,28,35,14,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,18,6,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,9,2,3,7,2,16,6,25,25,5,26,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,5,17,111,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888950850815606,0.0,0.17749180838803638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29058583610162275,0.07071748111010326,0.12812186856952346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025997663112561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590068851757101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991763493889408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304935353237111,0.0,0.2397348245738509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865719768414467,0.0,0.0,0.12708123923616738,0.0,0.19735291728342527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121892283568153,0.0,0.0,0.19460423593371354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258560886284963,0.0,0.10392050082183904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551561236693193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654576212147688,0.0,0.0,0.35059796787883746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204137771509977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486355610775163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893087284050843,0.0,0.0,0.24633346082077998,0.0,0.0,0.09698799366346507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24115373775374924,0.08722367860334537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707064877933541,0.14866665480846292,0.0,0.1841949986883603,0.2029358257429372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876190731295657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914377181099709,0.0684246024929377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20861048711388444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891060490507498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aintyomama420,2019/03/18,"Lost and don’t know who to turn to Throwaway account for various reasons. I live on the east coast in the USA. I’ve been suffering from bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, some PTSD from an abusive relationship and an extremely volatile work environment. I’ve recently been employed as a government contractor, and experienced a triggering event at work abt a month ago- nobody at my job knows (it was triggered by a coworker who I interact w daily).  I need to commit myself to a day program somewhere- anywhere. But I’m afraid of losing my job. I can take FMLA but in my environment it’s not unusual to see someone never get back on track after their stint on disability.  I don’t have any money saved and have to sell all my things and move back in w family to make do.  I’m scared about having to work for the next month until I get admitted- just need to save more money and get the needed documentation from a psych professional (I think? I’m not sure abt the process).  I also don’t know if it’s possible to utilize my disability as a way to get out of my lease (or get some kind of deferment benefit- I don’t know, I’m just spiraling atm and trying to think options), it’s just too much to handle rn. I also don’t have many friends. Going through my depressive swings rlly haven’t helped me socially.  At least I still have my parents tho.  Social media is also gone- it took too much outa me seeing everyone happy and successful, while I just languish in my own disgusting world. 

Sorry for the rant, just trying to process some things and hear other people’s experiences.  I’m afraid of going back to work. My anxiety makes me nauseous and I haven’t eaten or slept right in a month bc of it :(  started a talkspace account and it really don’t turn out to be what I thought it was going to be....wasted a few hundred thinking the more immediate assistance would help...at least I have an FSA to cover it I guess....",4.4034110007639455,5.8965476871657785,5.804847211611918,77.2352540106952,70.79144385026737,9.300076394194043,29.93468296409473,9.696096459569628,2.9483677616501147,1521,62,283,37,28,513,194,374,0.103,0.8170000000000001,0.08,-0.4201,5,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,1,7,16,17,1,3,20,0,23,3,1,5,4,54,63,24,0,5,12,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,15,13,1,0,10,0,6,6,11,9,0,0,10,4,31,8,49,51,13,40,0,5,2,0,12,16,0,8,17,186,46,12,0.0,0.11033814817067282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254988150794433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234165949670904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633283375010648,0.0,0.1424810644384964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21482261905661965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060058057627926674,0.0,0.16041721712752927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067295608433678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898513077704988,0.0,0.0910943265789902,0.08779016186084364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194830771763196,0.0,0.243270398118272,0.0,0.15877561200612425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258791995242728,0.0,0.0,0.09913351973866566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104958881961254,0.0,0.1248397331013874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482480673731214,0.0,0.0,0.09697557771466098,0.2047167241328376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223126825298005,0.0,0.0,0.10418329162502044,0.10165716954553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432360416334973,0.0944143483007547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22299496705007685,0.0989773625111594,0.13691549176191786,0.20715349394672733,0.07182390441523813,0.0,0.09903971935296747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034045272046154,0.0,0.0,0.06456129638342897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498468411275706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885838926553633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059658395359402774,0.09574822782967003,0.09194991205573763,0.09998162645791103,0.0,0.07952842214698944,0.0,0.0,0.0932345829504212,0.0,0.1484174738671537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898588520235755,0.07890468985194422,0.0,0.0,0.10424605046425836,0.06591450430552022,0.0,0.07436991452921074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776941013727264,0.0,0.07001856978366122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237365056424247,0.179012626689605,0.0,0.07393101607255355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346553695730512,0.1264518119802159,0.20258697796917172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391845859546646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711850535570696,0.0,0.0,0.06615347865080191,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UniKitty26,2019/03/18,"Spring Does anyone else notice an immediate improvement of their mood at this time of year? My mood and energy has elevated rapidly since daylight savings time began last Sunday, the snow has melted, and the temperature has increased. I know that's part of SAD, but this rapid improvement in just a week is something foreign to me. ",5.8645762711864435,8.400275118644071,6.012000000000004,72.97664406779663,69.0,8.787796610169492,30.444067796610174,9.3871,3.1560955932203387,268,11,42,6,5,85,49,59,0.039,0.816,0.146,0.6892,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,6,5,2,11,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,8,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196591153910532,0.3218810608180789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749124429386283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624297812797898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17264715530673638,0.256072000264204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35765881404732724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401909418057805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598659152784045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418459602442639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663636654650446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519900367175714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230057892176867
mentalhealth,avetahw,2019/03/18,"Simple advice to get out of negative circles Hey, this one is just about dealing with moods - I find myself circling about negative, bad things more often than necessary, what ist your advice to focus on something that makes me happy? Really something as simple as ""meet friends"", ""do this/do that"", easy tools that I can use in these moments. Mental training stuff. Thanks and all the best, hope this is not too vague.",3.9186999999999976,6.836165853333334,3.6422500000000007,85.64737500000003,77.13333333333333,5.883333333333333,24.041666666666664,7.1686216300943375,1.228766666666667,329,11,55,4,8,99,61,75,0.119,0.6859999999999999,0.195,0.7181,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,5,7,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,1,11,9,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,5,5,12,9,3,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,1,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4537378131052092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938480394635347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243642796299094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393518737514979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21219456238218595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937006792984056,0.0,0.12129660646653492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471439111456824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23059218467222325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497190991330104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339676683470796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573209816394937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873081477049033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357463849041544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657733279137277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21374629775015289,0.0,0.0,0.15424007962485894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20051597878665567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anxious_carrot,2019/03/18,"Wish me luck with Intensive Outpatient care Hey. I’m really new to Reddit (and generally sharing stuff online at all) so forgive me if I do things wrong. For context, I’ve been diagnosed with severe GAD and major depressive disorder, and I also self harm (though that term is kind of muddy in this situation, it’s more of a bodily-focused repetitive behavior as far as I can tell, but who knows). I’m a senior in high school, which has been the easiest and hardest year of at least my academic career, if not my life—easiest because I have only two academic classes with some art school things I’ve done for years, and hardest because my mental state has deteriorated so far from what it was even six months ago, let alone a year. Since I was 11 or 12 I’ve received counseling and a few years after that I started taking meds, which has been an ongoing experiment because my mental state has so many different factors (dissociation, paranoia, compulsive self-injury, sensory sensitivity, hallucinations, and more) and on top of that my body is extremely sensitive to psychotropic drugs, so I experience negative side effects quickly and often (a curse as much as a blessing).

I’ve seen two counselors, one licensed by my school and one from a local practice, for around two years or so, though I’ve seen the former for much longer as a supplement for the other. Just today the personal counselor voiced concern for my safety due to recent suicidal ideation in combination with my worsening self-injury (rather than using sharp utensils to cut into my skin, I pick and squeeze with what little nails my fingers have and subsequently ingest the contents, making us lean more in the direction of a compulsion than a desire to hurt myself; but I digress). I’ve been fortunate in having a wonderful support group around me for as long as I can remember—my family, friends, peers, teachers, counselors, and doctors are all amazing people that truly care about me and are good at what they do, and it’s been like that for my entire life—and my parents and I trust my counselor’s judgement in this regard. She suggests I should be moved into a more intensive outpatient group, actively “targeting” suicidal and self-harming intents and actions for a few times a week. Part of me is sad that I’ve reached this point of concern, but I’m honestly relieved I can get help that’s in-between CBT and a stay in the hospital. I feel like I’m a danger to myself at home—I self-injure at least twice a day, to the point that I’ve had to go to see a wound specialist to aid in healing various infections I’d contracted—and I’m hopeful that I can become stable before I start college in the fall.

This is really long-winded, and I’m sorry if it’s too much information or something. I just wanted to get that off of my chest, in a community that knows exactly how I feel. 
For those of you that have gone through this process before, do you have any tips? This is my first time in a group setting for therapy, so advice on that would be greatly appreciated. If nothing else, I’m thankful for this space for me to vent. ",11.153823267547116,7.8115589334471025,10.818194094079242,62.88104985902954,58.64163822525597,14.218608102092302,44.249591927585705,12.278803558989836,5.357166582579018,2469,110,432,59,23,818,295,586,0.103,0.746,0.151,0.9845,2,1,2,0,0,2,68.0,1,2,1,3,20,26,2,0,30,0,37,11,4,6,3,69,68,47,2,11,14,1,6,2,1,2,7,1,0,2,35,29,1,0,8,1,0,6,2,7,0,8,12,10,46,19,77,51,18,68,1,3,3,0,21,33,0,12,27,298,81,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429233106357754,0.06739300954000131,0.0,0.0,0.07874064766385784,0.0,0.060798458826629674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051700707201511334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535961693021584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903536176260484,0.08396542630682786,0.12938610432995612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444843345672126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502840761218176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04903087898779472,0.0,0.0654816145509284,0.07716541676956623,0.0,0.07943163421203088,0.0871330906928682,0.07781646489265626,0.0,0.07780162593802015,0.0,0.0,0.08816673985179119,0.0,0.06351048369077861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050214864065522086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873724124212273,0.07167112911284695,0.0,0.07688268465801387,0.05431343098255954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466820230461684,0.0,0.0,0.05873797635838748,0.0,0.07944153988691964,0.0,0.043207678957998714,0.06376751999375538,0.0,0.08381961457667451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095903937223307,0.08032629590902465,0.0762608965346253,0.0755115858962813,0.0,0.0,0.08138806682786097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917002319915302,0.08356448180458267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774236771212373,0.1073996971226924,0.07428553045698391,0.07619864399440596,0.0,0.13456232875742966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074835777094151,0.07707905764993045,0.0,0.0,0.08444843345672126,0.0,0.15323389828199435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068372103127261,0.08080426299966037,0.16766493556257095,0.0,0.0,0.07342698127094344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294959027587151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303520767838854,0.05782166876519557,0.0,0.0,0.08441856197830305,0.08232941839124465,0.0,0.0527072841729586,0.06638351022287853,0.0,0.0,0.14373945568481014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740919633447263,0.0,0.07506711320691904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308289883934909,0.060583371226701266,0.0,0.3965617160316897,0.08588843805359024,0.0,0.06289000392254407,0.08545710385331992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058529004745075774,0.0,0.085105574291698,0.107624062841541,0.08103425896424381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870322882287843,0.16632156061603035,0.08627410497949388,0.0,0.0,0.057162554993533336,0.0,0.06645061500933913,0.06999509521762652,0.08694306329641302,0.0,0.10101741338543097,0.0,0.14939153205793287,0.0,0.08866346451588301,0.0,0.07206434416228573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228008756181316,0.0,0.0914506603624596,0.06566258772927686,0.0,0.0,0.044842468989414935,0.0,0.060983966984018985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742685849898815,0.0,0.08244762397945454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400712801009553,0.0831231717600741,0.0,0.2447932463226788
mentalhealth,Galaxyrise13579,2019/03/18,"Getting a job in accounting I’m a college student and I’ve been struggling in college a lot. One of my parents has also died while I’ve been here and I’ve had a hard time even wanting to stay alive and I keep having problem after problem and have kept dropping classes to preserve my GPA and I’m once again probably going to have to drop or fail a class because I keep failing exams this professor makes things so much harder than they should be, doesn’t even test us on all the CHAPTERS he tells us to study!!! And it’s not multiple choice. We have to remember precisely how to do about 20 lengthy exercises and the test will only have 4!!! And to top things off, we accounting students keep being pressured to get our CPA license and attend college for another 2 years and take this insanely prolonged exam or we’re doomed career-wise. I just want the bachelors degree and job I keep nearly killing myself for. And all the withdrawals I’ve done appear on my transcript so whoohoo employers get to have fun looking at those!! ",5.156188083273508,6.43485154271357,5.489249820531229,81.02458542713569,68.74874371859298,8.097774587221824,33.309763101220376,8.418075326091056,2.6967541995692748,823,38,149,12,14,262,130,199,0.163,0.7929999999999999,0.044,-0.9771,4,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,5,0,1,3,10,9,1,2,9,0,17,1,0,2,3,36,34,19,2,5,4,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,14,0,5,1,1,2,3,2,8,0,1,5,2,14,1,23,25,4,19,1,3,1,0,9,8,0,4,5,99,20,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031627709653324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446496029130538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409129546171044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316735107808096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116781726348968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222556839518375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21621505946715466,0.0,0.07839853799946829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235735408269469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27378249942467203,0.4904550211793666,0.1526180705645431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584085375626695,0.0,0.0,0.11727772441083704,0.0,0.0,0.09208078635705662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014070194533268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690920076383432,0.09347655138233094,0.1049150152288305,0.0,0.0,0.15317397274567712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873034727971082,0.2639935634159224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626721712537847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703329555939834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421230105721186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371908067923656,0.0,0.1205718796180162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18329189886835165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043808600283725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318668460979899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16272959315745944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883343464247327
mentalhealth,throwaway9781927,2019/03/18,"Being social at work Do you struggle at work socially?
I just started a new job. The first days were good and I think made a good impression. But now I feel the might see another side of me. I become less talkative, I imagine they have a hard time figuring me out.
And I feel awful, why do I do this? It’s like I can’t keep up the “facade”. And I think the others must hate me, wish I wasn’t hired and so on. It takes nothing to make me feel left out, and it becomes a downward spiral.
I just feel so bad today. Feel like quitting. 
Would like to hear from others feeling the same and struggling socially at work.",0.7138095238095232,2.9378289523809533,2.5295238095238126,92.95714285714287,84.87301587301587,5.504761904761906,20.904761904761905,6.868970318607317,0.4481333333333333,472,15,102,6,14,156,78,126,0.135,0.715,0.15,-0.1658,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,5,5,10,1,2,9,1,11,0,0,2,1,29,28,9,0,3,3,0,7,3,0,3,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,1,10,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,3,9,17,6,11,21,2,17,0,0,1,0,6,10,0,1,10,69,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357545407079602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809723018508896,0.0,0.2859661565953279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349372256739265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927660492077137,0.09248927679371018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012221387052376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171769192428562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597452700027175,0.12781913099132305,0.0,0.0,0.1459156042932317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847327858070326,0.1150737623838116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066327232710932,0.0,0.0,0.18974906014710566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250219138055725,0.08641838351567256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734109641218192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250373668545368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242244270883819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377011521363829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316623511193276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959174574715757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163545330998583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706882604610748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734099421430874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591091108849645,0.0,0.0,0.07549163772890746,0.0,0.122716958836997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682133703467472,0.0,0.14887748331557146,0.0,0.0,0.2827545193817877,0.0,0.0,0.09196767946703684,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thatusernamehere,2019/03/18,"Insight to boyfriend (23) behavior. This may be long, and hopefully I’m in the right place to post this. I’m not sure how to feel and I’m a very open person. My boyfriend of almost a year has exhibited some strange behaviors in the past while intoxicated and it kind of got swept under the rug and never talked about more than a few sentences. Like having a crazy idea about something and believing it was true- a delusion if you will. That definitely was not so and was never said and/or thought of but he insisted and caused himself to act on it because of a “look” from my family member. Made him seem like a complete different person even in the facial expressions. Anyways, he was embarrassed and we fast forward to yesterday. 

He drank some and hasn’t in a while. We get home. Things are getting hot. Im on top just making out foreplay type stuff. He’s crying. I tell him I love him and keep trying to kiss him help him play it off thinking a previous convo just got to him and in the moment was emotional about us. Not uncommon but doesn’t happen often either. He pushes me off and says he needs a minute. Goes to the bathroom. 

I decide no, we are not pushing each other away in vulnerable moments and drunk me thought he needed me. I see him staring in the mirror and then looks at me, tries to tell me to leave and give a minute I tried to reason and make him realize I’m here for him, blah blah and he says he needed a talk with himself. “Between the real me and the fake me” okay drunk words whatever. He’s emotional. I’ll give him the minute he asked for with promises we’re gonna be all good after. Still worried I stand outside the door in case he needs me. All I hear is “no. Shut up. Shut up.” And he walks out sees me there. Says I shouldn’t have heard everything and he doesn’t appreciate me doing that. 

Feeling invaded his privacy I follow through and sit in the bedroom door closed next to the bathroom as he goes back in there. Again, mumbles and the shut up situation comes back in. Says everything’s fine. He’s good. I tell him he’s worrying me and we can talk if needed. He freaks out asks me to turn on the tv that it’s too loud. I ask what’s too loud? There’s no sound just the cats bell on her collar and he’s covering his ears almost and begging me to turn on the tv cause the silence is too loud. 

We did our thing once he calmed down and initiated. I tried telling myself he was just drunk. But I’m not sure.  Especially given some of those past things and little comments not repeated again in months about how there’s something wrong and he thinks it may be anxiety. Maybe he’s scared of what I’d think and alcohol puts him in a vulnerable state with a mental illness?Any insight? ",2.2614855328158114,4.4101011834862405,3.4152981651376173,89.24399170783346,78.44954128440367,6.68772053634439,23.508292166549047,7.748469712250963,1.10421030345801,2135,71,445,34,52,689,266,545,0.111,0.7859999999999999,0.102,-0.4993,1,0,3,0,0,0,52.0,7,1,0,1,29,21,0,2,32,1,26,11,2,8,7,106,74,41,0,9,16,0,3,4,0,5,2,12,5,2,19,44,5,1,14,6,0,8,15,5,0,0,16,20,53,16,65,50,9,73,0,0,5,3,73,40,0,12,25,275,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109639805218828,0.15197275440931224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160339119069636,0.0,0.05805067996110683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21282252420190145,0.0,0.07129505866424513,0.11669947541364395,0.0,0.04625788537354186,0.0,0.0,0.08549473384469572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590654243995872,0.0,0.06536692751000799,0.07956241993560195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335447612885988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928212040085805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707174776090848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012034485062188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639841748767026,0.0,0.0715362228658457,0.0,0.07673796872322983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929200743033911,0.14558876104822993,0.0,0.12729498134996953,0.12138195533057472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710354018922678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552623451853042,0.0,0.050863119399468686,0.0,0.07611735098885555,0.07536945077458759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566324992635999,0.08196721602461014,0.0,0.0,0.06744875324498813,0.0,0.07902100181722414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034968385500273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414570313398093,0.07605521562631531,0.0,0.06715452134277332,0.12744607881729092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848783343033753,0.07180281505734352,0.10130566872643312,0.0,0.07623518853271387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647273339899283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056949633354933,0.0,0.0,0.28133331792350674,0.11705208703198305,0.0,0.08070297725883029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081346507911047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487879965904832,0.0,0.13251711367471014,0.07928212040085805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267542958702364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762838900189457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637205113419551,0.0,0.0780208900387967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648041057253545,0.07218259828421339,0.2413824620233739,0.07597263478472206,0.0,0.12093867083393607,0.06908150050968691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529624832748753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683767172043552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060067173253974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686846774042015,0.0,0.0,0.14303862645420612,0.0,0.0,0.1829768806874963,0.2653021412511005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124090313744193,0.14586927381415082,0.0,0.12048606655601825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20607969758491604,0.16507894391051048,0.0,0.0,0.09127852319191412,0.0,0.0,0.06261184562495882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412678242965594,0.0,0.0,0.0829667093842221,0.0,0.048866494617158425
mentalhealth,octoelephant22,2019/03/18,"Not sure what I’m going through. Lately I’ve been dreading going to work. I’ve been asked to do something that’s not exactly in my job description, but because we currently don’t have an ongoing project (projects are scheduled from May onwards), I have to do other tasks. 

For the past month or so I feel like I’m not doing a good job, even when meeting deadlines. I would gag while getting ready for work, sometimes while walking on my way to the office. It’s like having stage fright or something. It has never happened to me before, even when actually going to the stage to perform or host (I’m in events industry). I feel like throwing up but nothing really comes out. Is this anxiety? Is it just a phase? I feel like a fraud posting here, honestly. I don’t have other history of this, and it feels such a small thing compared to what others are going through. I don’t know if I should worry about it or just let it pass? 😔",3.80224378881988,5.243703929347827,4.67049689440994,84.98630434782609,72.20652173913044,7.431055900621117,29.447204968944106,7.957251820313856,1.947431366459628,729,30,143,10,14,236,111,184,0.13,0.757,0.113,-0.3121,3,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,3,10,9,0,2,8,0,21,0,0,0,3,27,37,13,0,3,12,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,15,4,0,0,5,0,0,8,7,2,0,0,2,4,12,7,20,31,0,29,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,6,15,99,27,6,0.0,0.0,0.14492789742043974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361253447404095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388402133213068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905325415691747,0.0,0.1263741761832404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793135774066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618372811506105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003718517294555,0.3182945401278506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775922515785425,0.0,0.33761491538116056,0.12456620203833416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313301287458918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947537598747383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161921715567508,0.0,0.16752986411738446,0.0,0.0,0.15186526752671595,0.0,0.2902250674429759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854217719553248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454288116943236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250285100953874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417730820022204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223502213761202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514164603061187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286661244122931,0.14688379568423424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997235596582072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866586881841864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788322130440745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21623940954902626,0.15082281890491425,0.0,0.10549983471012424,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,majiig,2019/03/18,"What am I? I'm having quite a hard time trying to decipher my real personality, sometimes I feel ecstatic and would be down to talk about the dumbest things ever with my friends at College, other times I just feel numb, distant and aloof and would totally avoid every single contact with anyone or anything. This past week has been a positive and a happy one but today I literally had no interest in talking to anyone, it's just weird idk how to explain it. Like when my friends talked to me I just stared at them or replied in a very reluctant way, it's as if I'm a completely different person than the one I was last week but with the same people. I experience these mood swings without anything bad happening to me, it's just random as heck. Am I bipolar? Schizophrenic or just an asshole?",3.9103016591251887,5.973256078431376,5.118954248366017,79.32452488687784,73.1830065359477,8.106385118149825,30.069884364002014,8.841846274778883,2.6740572146807446,632,28,114,13,13,209,101,153,0.102,0.746,0.153,0.9049,1,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,9,10,0,1,9,0,10,3,0,1,2,31,16,14,0,3,12,0,3,1,2,2,3,0,0,2,9,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,3,4,14,5,19,10,3,15,0,0,1,0,10,5,1,5,10,85,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436268147579168,0.0,0.2522831179858901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798765258495767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16071776269912524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601515517399047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386562285856602,0.12915031374518354,0.0,0.0,0.1499434087107741,0.0,0.0,0.15501231180820588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368572207578423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555056340835986,0.16317611014142605,0.13731441078555107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494878833000204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488794038122654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077415195750556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463291121774806,0.10626941560541284,0.26768735850899983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303884188339596,0.0,0.17447336103223215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160406412971844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696171498247766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183660242494304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876494126950676,0.0,0.1452974832659372,0.0,0.0,0.104071331541851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647724585867653,0.0,0.121671525161774,0.2459140376660279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477625172291423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21778037029288327,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MoiraVonTeese,2019/03/18,"Am I bipolar? Hello! First of all, I'm a 16yo girl so I'm not sure if I can get a real diagnosis at this age. However, I've noticed that I'm showing many signs of bipolar disorder. If anyone here has experience with bipolar disorder, please send me a message or just reply here. I'd like to talk to someone professional/experienced about this. Thanks in advance",2.046514084507041,4.6332663802816905,4.657165492957748,77.48039612676058,82.38028169014083,7.493661971830987,30.00176056338028,8.472884824447931,2.861857746478873,287,15,52,7,8,101,53,71,0.109,0.77,0.121,0.2123,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,3,0,3,3,0,0,2,10,8,4,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,8,8,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,3,30,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755789065533949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5755776514010079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24562950570572745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21359033466411384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119233631045538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226775350601918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545817129954115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858854428955397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756385942834796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858131997774486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21276099943930926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366641001446715,0.0,0.0,0.2018292069708832,0.0,0.2311843422205665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_madcat,2019/03/18,"I think i'm probably going insane and i'm not exactly aware what to do Yeah, that's basically it. Sometimes I try write how i'm feeling but I can never finish because i'm in that ""moment"" and that ""moment"" just stops and I completely fall out of my idea, so I never get to post how I feel on reddit or some other place where people can help me. (I literally just wrote a small text on how i'm feeling and quit midway because I got lost in the moment, I still have it here but i'm probably deleting it because it feels weird now)

Anyway, is a psychiatrist my only solution?I know this is super vague but i'm afraid of being judged even though i'm probably being judged right now.

Yeah sorry this is a mess but yeah, psychiatrist is my only possible help right?",2.053982683982685,4.2258284675324695,4.198415584415585,83.24809956709956,79.25974025974024,6.963809523809526,21.954978354978362,8.021203637495839,1.2553529004329014,600,18,117,11,15,206,87,154,0.096,0.758,0.147,0.8738,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,14,5,0,1,4,3,10,0,0,3,3,30,29,14,0,0,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,1,7,0,0,2,3,4,0,0,3,4,13,1,9,24,1,23,0,1,0,0,4,10,0,2,10,74,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784318041811557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963194129895014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056013823553242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079300737343672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954469638958228,0.0,0.08652757006736865,0.0,0.12176877716744565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410084300676945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718724857136101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367299203363976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661996023739831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348502207591601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23158700565036686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555145136978274,0.0,0.1590695557039346,0.0,0.0,0.17163976562502742,0.14581406547339665,0.0,0.4924559516202917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619373390961268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260042497688076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505798155686323,0.17043217132322516,0.0,0.0,0.12158758972534693,0.12728838582162585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755608813670358,0.14958552008984222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336821772894654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FlexingRonin,2019/03/18,"Should I seek proper help? (Panic Attacks) Hi all, this is a long post but please bear with me.

So last year around the summer time I had my first panic attack and it was bad.  I ended up in the ER and the waves of panic attacks lasted for couple days.  After learning that was just a panic attack, I still was so scared and anxious about the future panic attack.  At that time I thought I was going crazy and thoughts of “my life is done” “This sh*t will get me times to times” had stayed in my head for months.  

After that, I have had panic attack about once every 3-4 months.  Although I now know how to cope with it and recover faster from the attack.
I have developed a thought that I think I can’t live with the attacks constantly hit me in the future.  I don’t know what is the trigger but every panic attack I have been thru is when I was laying on bed trying to sleep, I also have a weird sensation feel in my neck/back of my head.

The problem is that I don’t consider I have any mental illness/disorder.  But it is just the thought of fearing the future attacks has been impacting me negatively and start to make me anxious when I feel a little of symptoms.

Im here to hear some advices, am I at the point that I need help, or I should just learn the live with the panic attacks and try to minimize the frequency on my own.


",5.027126383763839,4.908603029520297,5.776510608856089,83.8153932195572,68.52029520295204,8.251014760147603,27.638607011070107,7.6454224807358475,1.476691697416974,1035,29,214,10,16,339,133,271,0.316,0.6579999999999999,0.026,-0.9985,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,15,24,11,10,20,0,30,5,3,3,1,39,46,18,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,12,12,0,0,11,0,0,1,4,24,1,1,15,3,32,0,33,27,3,41,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,2,26,156,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486322067984156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04489829859753789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038179813015599286,0.0,0.0,0.12685337135938055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998002100934237,0.0,0.7025903639587415,0.0,0.04317123397807576,0.04687785527355442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067166723923172,0.0,0.0,0.062122215659655276,0.0,0.0362082047436627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643458337457271,0.0,0.0,0.057454756257886874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972687758182645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946074030424466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317755560545507,0.056776138727449486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477560173871866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029332897969190662,0.0,0.031907902091641245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523978576472875,0.0,0.06327831498086707,0.0,0.07526421590726506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606451031418468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061710496098419935,0.09152962957972448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03965613408433731,0.0,0.056270990035192286,0.09915227747393733,0.049685631290088836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037476524315060884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05657989900655445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962713461672148,0.0,0.0,0.04163002944393388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979147716205479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5269826517399874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162920022519708,0.05307418252152698,0.0,0.05377038695397165,0.0,0.0,0.05372218021690575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620989092875857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618449907556306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039738978610615865,0.05984198326443858,0.04483663305804648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835506387074981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0359747778226742,0.0,0.17828810804679027,0.1309519609988113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623611683801404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036154864712598
mentalhealth,treeelubber,2019/03/18,"Life is hard and maybe I'm just too lazy to do it.  I haven't hung out with anyone I'd call a friend in 2 years. I've been to parties. I've had hook ups but I haven't hung out with 1-2 people in like 2 years. 

 So I cant say I've got friends. I have people i worked with who invited me to parties cause I'm nice and they were too but we never became friends. I have hung out in groups and watched friends wrestle and goof around and I could not push myself to get involved and just have fun.

I am 25 this year though and the last group of people I hung around were mostly 21-22 (college seniors from work) so maybe I just outgrew all that? Idk but I miss it. It's been awhile since I could say I had someone I felt close to in any way shape or form. I have definitely not hidden this social awkwardness very well but luckily have met some people who dont mind it but being tolerated isn't the same as being close with somebody. I have become an empty shell of a person

 I also have some form of PTSD. I come off very, well, off putting. I am not trusting and do not feel safe most of the time. I carry around a weight that's dragging me behind everyone socially. The only thing keeping people from shunning me completely is a believable smile.

 My guards never down and when it is I become bewildered and nervous/paranoid  ""fuck, this isn't good. They could really fuck me over. They know too much. I'd better ghost this mf  before I get myself messed up. God I am stupid."" 

 I go into these trances. I get into such deep thought that I drown out my surroundings completely. I become very introspective so I wont have to analyze everything going on around me (which I do obsessively). Im Not sure if its cause or effect. I will zone out and only react. I will only know fight or flight when its needed. I will sit dazed until something snaps me into adrenaline mode. The only thing that deters this is working obsessively or being asleep.

 I'll sit in the car thinking of 10 different ways we could all crash and burn and picture myself crawling out of the window of some upside down mangled hunk of metal bruised, bloody and broken pinned against some died person, hoping I dont die. Not that I'm afraid of death, I blacked out and nearly died once and dont remember any of it except waking up in the hospital so I'm sort of desensitized to the idea of death, it's a slow death that I'm scared of or paralysis etc.

 It's not just cars though, its other stuff. I was with someone who was stabbed and killed about 1.5 years ago (feels like yesterday) and I'm suspicious of people. You could LITERALLY stab me in the chest totally unexpectedly, I have no clue what's going on in your f'ing head right now, you possibly psycho S.O.B.

 I am also an Army veteran.

 I dont want to be alone but people are not trustworthy. Everyone is thinking of something I dont know of. Everyone has that inner dialogue that nobody else hears. Everyone has intentions that are known only to them. How can you just trust someone? I feel like trusting other people is no different than blindly following some religion. Maybe I'm just hopeless and cynical? 

 The words coming from your mouth may not be true, they could be as fake as a floating spaghetti monster. You could be saying something kind with no honesty behind it, with a straight face. All the while you're thinking about how you're gonna get me fired from work or some shit.

 This is just a rant about how I have spiraled into a paranoid, anxiety driven state of PTSD and nothing has helped at all and I am lonely and it's most likely not going to change and I will probably kill myself eventually in some drunken depressed stupor.",2.92456353824992,4.976190905089407,3.9480660247592856,86.67793863083273,75.9876203576341,6.894753994286318,24.11446407787536,7.8292811421721575,1.2658654914823821,2896,94,573,44,65,935,329,727,0.21,0.685,0.105,-0.998,2,3,3,0,1,2,73.0,2,6,5,7,35,42,8,5,23,0,69,12,7,8,9,141,110,54,10,11,31,0,7,4,4,7,2,4,1,2,39,51,1,3,15,0,0,12,26,20,2,0,13,14,70,22,86,76,20,78,0,4,3,2,35,44,3,20,21,386,109,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830351667182463,0.0,0.0,0.05643686508648761,0.0,0.08715382766250306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411231489138442,0.0,0.04168592580512607,0.0,0.0,0.03810179458587469,0.0,0.0,0.19403631200650331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18054507717427468,0.04636833916650426,0.0613933744474099,0.0,0.04819339309140285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055642017401105054,0.0,0.0,0.11195576976945268,0.05764488879256681,0.09387937891914032,0.11426681432616763,0.0,0.0,0.3045497670255425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04693353630811458,0.0,0.16966103694522144,0.11386425071739074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3193187541555904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552074063367479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06077253959648458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827624071732048,0.0489735375635316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265777264217727,0.07785762163990784,0.052320482622880665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684003038097031,0.10075321457677737,0.1138784503780203,0.0,0.12387533099614688,0.04570496979083586,0.04358191142103368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04881377147749789,0.0,0.05592410370842931,0.0,0.06141599493614775,0.0,0.03652457168329598,0.0,0.0,0.05412245532812973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151438506919649,0.05886028015423595,0.0,0.0,0.048434638927616486,0.12057376635840007,0.05674461730692072,0.08984147690327275,0.04441792791476455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038489029470005084,0.10648737557192607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16423241286977247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0550209834517381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04005759680173742,0.04040483186528256,0.08405456436719695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052286161044667705,0.0,0.0,0.05803177691630805,0.0,0.2072165911758666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022209213866848,0.09515992874251424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143109289428567,0.0,0.0,0.05875116254901019,0.0,0.1273955316398552,0.05477910993612307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034908715097063954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172836171187369,0.04653552972927427,0.0,0.1300017253368944,0.05455559898657008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055934845616361605,0.0450760156535319,0.0,0.0,0.11109465036762883,0.13851167071808862,0.1258508905798755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062379846428298365,0.0,0.0,0.051357689295216745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240359712251054,0.1047480534170882,0.10707544311560424,0.04326024462048261,0.03177449089792202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488383355678488,0.032140558245144384,0.08650579339179497,0.0,0.06635609019797703,0.09798898740147992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586821388033482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036321850715625
mentalhealth,bpdbarbie00,2019/03/18,"How to refeed myself, weight is scary low. Bmi of 16.5 My ed is out of control and its not even counting calories or anything anymore, i just can't eat. Food scares me and I'm only willing to eat really specific foods. I have a long history with having anorexia and its gotten so bad again. 

I won't go in fir treatment but i need to start eating. How can i stary eating daily and not overwhelm myself after months of eating only a few times a week? 

I wanna gain 10 pounds by the 29th for a party i wanna go to, is that possible? ",0.9578134556574938,3.2205822660550467,3.1084633027522948,88.95486620795107,84.13761467889906,5.1012232415902155,20.09250764525994,6.42735559955562,0.32171498470948023,413,12,82,4,12,140,78,109,0.06,0.8290000000000001,0.111,0.7513,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,2,5,0,9,8,0,3,0,17,15,9,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,8,1,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,1,11,0,15,12,1,12,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,7,58,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419406742934315,0.0,0.0,0.1196487721247054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139984316960938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307432164296207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7438836016427701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603288953390801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516275832116399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652641438987398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286711563743959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160539451167008,0.0,0.0,0.10780951935936536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22116088662308367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391248998969565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314459737428653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556706793669685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291225447275958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847817558804621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662814733649515,0.17705353198010568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chris5878,2019/03/18,"A Very Serious Med Question I currently take 40mg of Adderall, all at once in the morning and throughout the day, my stress level and anxiety is thru the room. I am also on Effexor and Lamictal, which are for depression and anxiety. Would it be possible that the Adderall is increasing my anxiety to the point where I am having panic attacks and such? Can I also cold turkey Adderall or should I drop down to 20mg for a week and then 10mg?",4.7141379310344815,5.745682425287362,6.340862068965517,75.4278448275862,69.57471264367817,10.397701149425288,34.04022988505747,10.504223727775694,3.902388505747127,349,17,64,10,6,120,61,87,0.243,0.757,0.0,-0.9575,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,2,7,0,10,0,0,0,1,11,11,10,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,7,0,10,8,2,14,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,2,4,50,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477988595719831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4990595769827403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24738751493936936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024108608076888,0.0,0.187294475084374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24154451786879544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315834699605665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551376820148563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20556614315352484,0.2451488893136181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436004103099394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490950347262323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349979769769893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942391724286252,0.0,0.0,0.17443003143960648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447445456003991,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PurryJinx,2019/03/18,"Partner friends with ex My current partner of 1 year used to be in a 2 year relationship with a polyamorous woman who was in an open marriage with his best friend. This couple had been his close friends for years and are part of his wider friendship circle and social scene.

When he ended things with her so he could start a monogamous relationship with him, she went crazy. For a few months my partner and I were discouraged from going to any events (mainly music gigs) that she might attend because his friends were worried she’d cause a scene if she saw us and maybe even punch me. We spent the first six months of our relationship feeling like outsiders from his social group and he was depressed because she was constantly complaining about him to mutual friends.

Now she’s calmed down and, along with her husband, wants to be friends with him again. I suspect she still romantically likes my partner judging from how strongly she’s reacted to what she views as rejection on his part.  If my partner opens up the lines of communication with her, it’s likely to complicate things given her past behaviour.

My partner’s open to the idea of rebuilding their friendship in baby steps (especially with her husband, who hasn’t done anything wrong) but I’m uncomfortable with it. I don’t want open myself up to a woman who has been nothing but negative, unstable and volatile. It’s likely to put a strain on our relationship. But I don’t want to stop him from doing what’s important for him because he may end up resenting me.

I decided to avoid going to events they’ll be at because it’s too stressful for me, but encouraged him to still go. When I told him this he got really upset because he wanted me to go with him so we could “face it together”. This makes me feel pressure to go along with something I’m not ready for simply to appease him. I’m also confused as to why he’s so keen on letting these toxic and negative people into our lives when they’ve recently caused a lot of heartache. He should be protecting me from friends/ex-friends of his who are likely to cause harm. Yes they have a history and he probably wants to maintain that connection, but in my eyes the risk outweighs the reward and it’s safer to avoid them as much as possible. 

Am I overreacting or are my feelings justified? ",7.545821917808219,7.359265009132417,7.180011415525116,76.0907020547945,63.29223744292239,10.496347031963472,36.05821917808219,10.02789654360092,3.4865369863013704,1846,78,341,35,24,581,216,438,0.111,0.74,0.149,0.9362,1,2,1,0,0,0,33.0,6,0,4,4,15,32,1,8,15,1,31,2,2,7,0,70,56,30,0,10,9,3,3,5,12,4,0,0,0,8,20,32,0,5,6,0,1,9,6,15,0,2,15,6,61,17,69,29,7,50,0,3,3,0,81,18,0,7,28,238,81,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524766556393129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548414413796654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714179511738551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486831892596492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562389706557323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514468780014088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817003710355745,0.0,0.13028629545455084,0.09027802117369936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027353273852842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349511759845092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452942669749574,0.0,0.0,0.05388956759953914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376339284835855,0.058288065993335934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940059531154061,0.0,0.0,0.4412547847280087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23184799753595103,0.0,0.06525514844966279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210542168976144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343152287944289,0.0,0.1993042891645452,0.0,0.07204565476425814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936508321216424,0.0,0.0,0.05446210215951753,0.0,0.08196833757113146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655432466107017,0.0,0.0,0.13024906260581506,0.0,0.05997819601304937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828801192014911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17670850416070286,0.07788709246949144,0.05656438200690048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091980708407088,0.0,0.0,0.08796805162326217,0.0,0.0,0.08202070157705181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05226878105090381,0.0,0.08056049432670033,0.35038942706782983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634189885953982,0.0,0.06281213374645253,0.0,0.0,0.05774997421349656,0.0,0.13031610239879104,0.06821307321897603,0.09346131577000898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840982702375801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796294703120261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814298286648207,0.07046774946120217,0.0,0.0,0.24062011407440306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563494684545055,0.07362247861116299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285882395060325,0.0,0.0,0.08920609200111836,0.0,0.1576242705156407
mentalhealth,heyygirlllheyyyy,2019/03/18,"Someone please help me and provide some insight or direction (3+ years of therapy and not making meaningful progress) Ive been in therapy for over 3 years now, and while success has been achieved in a sense, the fact of the matter is I am still plagued by compulsive, impairing rationalizations of sex between adults and minors.

I'm really hoping someone out there is aware of a program or system that is specifically targeted towards my issue - so far I have only found resources relating to pedophilia. While some people like to dismiss my standing by equating attraction to minors (a term which involves pubescent adolescents) to pedophilia, the fact of the matter is I dont fit this criteria, and moreover *I have worked with 2 pedophile specialists and it fundamentally did not click because my rationalizations do not align with pedophilic rationalizations* In fact, the only reason why I met with 2 specialists is because the first one felt ""Ill equipped to take on the case"" and specified that my case was ""too extensive"". He referred me to his superior, who ran the program. His superior was ridiculously incapable of getting through to me.

Another issue is that pedophile specialists more frequently work with patients required to see them, meaning that their methods essentially rely on attrition. I have never been court mandated.

 I honestly think that the failure in that program had to do with the fact that I'm young, well socialized, and take good care of myself, yet stubborn. I wasnt some virgin who was developmentally suspended; i was a whore. I didnt fit the profile of someone who caves in, but nonetheless I am always looking for someone who can ""fix"" me; alleviate the chronic stress that afflicts me because of my mental illness. Some may say that it sounds like I'm unwilling, but the fact of the matter is im just so far gone and past the point of no return that it would take very strong arguements to settle my rationalizations.


Pedophile specialists rely on the fact that pedophilia has been shown to pretty much always create a negative response for the victim, however this is not true of statutory relationships, so a pedophile can be convinced that their desires are harmful, whereas that same arguement does not have implications to my issue.

My third and current therapist specializes in sexuality (mostly trans youth). She is very understanding and open minded. But she lacks in the category of direction and long term outcome.

My issue stems from 2 particular aspects of my life.. being gay, the age of consent effectively acted as a determinant of when I was able to become sexually active. Local options in my age range were sparse, and I felt comfortable to extend my dating range higher. Because i couldnt, i spent the entire time wondering why. In the end, i didnt get the answers i was looking for. 

By that point, distress had already become a part of my life. So at this point, I think this mental illness would have eventually come about regardless of whether or not the 2nd event occurred. The second event either triggered or catalyzed the development of my current illness. 

By the time I was 18, repression had turned me into a depraved, hypersexual man. I had used copious amounts of drugs in high school and nearly failed. I do blame this behavior on sexual repression, that is what kept me nihilistic. I am still hypersexual, and it's possible that that's what's actually causing this problem, but those hypersexual compulsions take the form of rationalizing sex with underage teens.. because I wanted to have sex with adults while underage and moreover have felt justified in my confidence to have pursue such behavior, and the acceptance that I could not blame an adult if I regretted sex with them. 

Additionally, I felt like repression could hurt these teens as much as it did me, so i feel guilty for allowing others to experience it if they express a disdain for it.

Anyway, since I had become depraved and desperate to make up for lost time, a month after i graduated at 18 I began dating a 65 year old. Long story short, the relationship was abusive. He lied to me about his hiv status, his age, and while not really his fault, the amount of drinking I had to do to have sex with this man or to even socialize with him for over an hour was disturbing. He eventually sexually assaulted me.

But the thing is that I knew that if I entered a relationship with him, it would be abusive. I knew this from the first message I received from him which clearly indicated abusive behavior, but I went with it because I realized he may be able to support the depraved hedonism I was enticed by. I regard my relationship with him as being self harm. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knowingly consented to self harm. 

The impact this had on my illness was strong. Essentially, if i hadn't gotten to that level of depravity, i know with full confidence that i never would have subjected myself to that abuse. I know that i am not guilty of his deeds, but i know that I was aware of what the outcome would likely be. I do feel responsible for giving him the opportunity to do it. Driving over an hour to see him, it's not like I was oblivious to my surroundings or some sort of innocent sheep. It's not like I acted innocent around him; I was always going over there with the expectation that he'd set up an orgy and drugs would be involved. It's not like I wasnt using him.  For someone to say that I was unknowing, innocent prey fully absolved of responsibility is an insult to my humanity.

That said, I consider this illness to have been pre existing, so I dont think it is a form of PTSD stemming from his abuse.

This is way longer than intended. If anyone reads, please say something if you feel compelled.",9.032759047215158,8.589767229961831,9.104652247667511,64.35346621430593,60.38358778625954,12.49578739044388,40.399773819621146,11.78593018713483,5.016998671190276,4619,220,758,124,54,1521,425,1048,0.142,0.743,0.115,-0.993,3,0,5,0,2,0,116.0,0,1,5,14,22,46,5,6,56,0,98,21,0,11,10,163,155,55,0,23,34,0,7,7,0,8,12,7,0,8,67,42,1,6,29,2,1,10,24,21,1,5,54,19,114,25,134,82,20,102,0,4,5,9,59,44,0,25,51,567,181,12,0.1091106784712049,0.32319578019549794,0.05323814139165228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06020317345093607,0.0,0.13618323774338195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057206029956184824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03814636166835186,0.0,0.0,0.0485658183232744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19953857060202992,0.18075625797120898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562280427345875,0.05604336135478952,0.0,0.04699459409160482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871159983425448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04774174500701915,0.0,0.12787690255432155,0.05344346301632594,0.1265337466788193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048319837680165616,0.0,0.0,0.036033287041457016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05336559012126965,0.0,0.0,0.08275445616616249,0.0,0.20952672434332345,0.0,0.0,0.09280948736839097,0.0,0.05981711358200549,0.0,0.0,0.08550873918603835,0.05233445253116484,0.03100505651587892,0.04575843019028487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03656729391242836,0.05764071119838461,0.0,0.05418576153080844,0.10745203962168104,0.0,0.05840261899207653,0.0,0.05892912811766589,0.2277664009594228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992875079403376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706809899032799,0.1865708813772229,0.0,0.0,0.09655951693420076,0.0916254896892358,0.0,0.05955359731597575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283222513783295,0.0,0.0,0.05942675787330441,0.0,0.0,0.1099579007935152,0.0,0.055085340648928435,0.0,0.04354555128956144,0.0,0.08020890311190636,0.0,0.08415288169695664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057246651331914186,0.0,0.036968109769321036,0.08298358769282786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907811601315911,0.05207924436568855,0.03782180306814528,0.0,0.0,0.11977075963958285,0.15471728826494344,0.06150294789779508,0.0,0.05550239300109749,0.0,0.05220209178897222,0.06377227211585837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457010268519034,0.0,0.06989909456725325,0.0560919749131182,0.0,0.2342880702931221,0.0,0.0,0.05189462066003665,0.130153786353396,0.0,0.05521291587698556,0.08694708413438686,0.0,0.11382623380023342,0.0,0.0,0.04512874037501045,0.0,0.0,0.11122459606964946,0.23112280947779296,0.04199936547629062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713592877111341,0.0,0.06249295677113185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06190875245454231,0.0,0.0,0.16407530243773394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477756992174165,0.06334295370493867,0.03624414324763652,0.10487057560237376,0.0,0.0,0.09543497109208897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059340543128308124,0.0,0.056794032141636586,0.0,0.09423659370845244,0.0,0.0900277367334013,0.03217815256125843,0.043303488943201685,0.0,0.0,0.04905180180565788,0.050573346037958766,0.09845541623986803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591629382260464,0.07943387342894588,0.0,0.0,0.23252728634292905,0.0,0.0,0.1053955494020131
mentalhealth,BudgetContest,2019/03/18,"Odd Memory Issues Hey everyone,

This’ll be short and to the point. 22m, no major history of drug abuse (college-level drinking, cannabis infrequently and amphetamines rarely, lsd & psilocybin once each), and have had this issue once before preceding these things.

I’m finding myself unable to retain a lot of detail in the very short term. I can remember the gist of conversations I had, and I can tell you that events and conversations were had, but as far as detail goes, I’m rather... spotty. I struggle with recalling exactly where sentences or trains of thought began. Imagine you’re sitting in class, and towards the end of a slide you can’t quite recall the first pieces of information that were said, only a vague idea.

Frankly, it’s quite worrying, and isn’t really helping out the baseline anxiety that I already have. Has anyone had a similar experience?",7.439032258064515,8.65483241935484,7.431774193548389,69.38766129032261,63.516129032258064,10.845161290322581,35.5,10.793553405168565,4.215954838709678,695,31,111,18,10,223,110,155,0.107,0.863,0.03,-0.8573,0,0,2,0,1,0,28.0,0,2,0,3,2,1,0,1,10,0,14,2,0,0,1,22,19,11,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,10,1,1,6,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,9,1,8,0,15,9,5,17,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,2,6,70,15,1,0.0,0.19561098801676632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821868192919928,0.0,0.0,0.17888073804684226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262974875443067,0.0,0.0,0.11543850434367695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048397931014955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173058629257828,0.19145818666270328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622547336028974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15775567778403604,0.0,0.16149492736886842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15089415497915654,0.1404300166796658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065993013557973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863725497759527,0.0,0.3446332955039327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035815901496754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516423099980727,0.0,0.12556244985586715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560684651806293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511984441950535,0.0,0.0,0.10576430593792956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702084321891546,0.0,0.1570434801767017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725935013267712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430060897903346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968201172371228,0.0,0.0,0.13106726312522493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362209503530769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676623374368343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,capbassboi,2019/03/18,"Horribly inappropriate intrusive thoughts are driving me insane, please help me I keep having a recurring thought that I am attracted to my mum and even though it's really disturbing and horrible, I cant seem to stop having that specific thought. Itll be anytime of the day and randomly I'll just think 'I fancy my mum' and it's horrible, I hate the fact I'm even writing this on an online forum, but I don't know what to do.

I know that the thought is completely inappropriate and fucking wrong in every single way and yet whenever my thoughts go to my Mum this thought keeps popping up and I'm starting to feel like I wont be able to speak to my mum ever again without this horrible fucking thought occurring.

I'm really lost here. I feel like this is ruining my relationship with my family and I'm literally starting to think about killing myself if this thought doesn't stop, because it's completely interfering with my life in a horrific way, one in which I cant even have dinner with my family without this horrible thought being in the back of my head.

It's been going on for a few days now, and I am desperate for it to stop. Obviously, I know it is not true in any conceivable way and that's the worst thing about it. Its literally an anxious thought I'm having because I know it's completely inappropriate and disgusting and yet it still persists. 

I just want it to end. This is the worst thing I've ever gone through. It's completely destroying my life

Please help me


",4.47190909090909,6.06203282413793,5.826771159874608,76.76579937304076,70.75862068965517,10.100313479623825,32.83699059561128,10.33465798735191,3.665275862068966,1189,57,226,35,22,400,132,290,0.235,0.685,0.08,-0.9957,0,0,0,0,0,2,18.0,0,0,0,2,17,16,6,1,11,0,22,6,1,0,5,54,58,15,1,2,7,4,2,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,28,15,1,5,19,0,0,4,8,12,0,1,13,3,29,4,30,40,4,32,0,2,0,2,9,8,2,3,19,154,57,0,0.07969712793580354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419677992731352,0.0,0.0,0.09003506968189127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061282171972512636,0.0,0.09716525893533674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33424368935751203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279610867940206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058799999029816,0.0,0.0,0.15791760408025,0.1441812299292349,0.06714826759485698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026271871025748,0.0,0.0805945250302034,0.11387128824315434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473574211084799,0.0,0.0,0.09058742885390232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868441408924645,0.08179224588410057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683860982402528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167693834235262,0.08817306394909531,0.0,0.17519782901424494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258487677028399,0.07787198210401294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699882964399705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054004836467183084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496702775032796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211204183453733,0.0,0.0,0.08556488958553761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255327205796328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128200747036561,0.0,0.06364622931850973,0.19989110266647386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058944609933037,0.10213340310456044,0.07830202355250676,0.6327061732545075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04700743093792069,0.1897796116784547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365037466294404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713629833305891,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,benjaminlee1994,2019/03/18,"Failure My grandma who raised me til I was 8 passed away, I couldn’t fly from Australia to China to visit her in time  and now I can’t even get a flight to go back there to get to her funeral on Wednesday which is 2 and half days away because I couldn’t book an earlier flight and all the other flights are too expensive, I’m such a failure. Its all my fault 
I hate myself so much that I want to end my life ",2.8685767790262204,3.2795194719101133,4.116348314606744,91.97017790262173,73.38202247191012,7.281647940074906,26.069288389513112,7.1686216300943375,0.9223243445692888,319,10,76,3,6,105,64,89,0.18,0.802,0.018000000000000002,-0.9317,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,0,0,0,7,2,1,0,4,0,6,1,0,0,2,8,12,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,1,1,3,3,2,0,1,1,0,13,0,12,9,3,14,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,7,54,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5870020938030774,0.2402089208458857,0.0,0.19043027720229266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146595280688728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766851558385408,0.0,0.0,0.20633090091138395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264221620368804,0.0,0.1775386529785487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084208275817374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206505650998072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296428746724235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821573437659416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425594090235808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VividTooth,2019/03/18,"I don't even know if this is where to write about this I don't even have time to be thinking about stuff like this because I literally have a final in two and a half hours but I feel a panic attack coming so I'm just going to type.

I don't even know where to start

I have depression, anxiety, panic episodes, probably ADD? no motivation to do anything, nothing matters and I feel terrible like all the time. I did reach out to my campus's psychological services and my first session is in April so I'm hoping that'll help

I did really well in high school, but after coming to college, with nobody to check my behavior, I've been doing terribly. Failed so bad last spring I was on academic probation and probably will be on subject to disqualification this quarter. I'm not even worried about it myself. I'm worried about if they take away my financial aid or how to tell my parents. My parents think I'm doing fine and it's the scariest thing in the world to tell them, especially now, that my dad's been diagnosed with cancer. We're not financially well off. If my financial aid gets revoked I might just fucking kill myself to cancel my tuition and academic loans. I can't focus on anything and the only way to stay out of depression is to just not think about anything and now that I'm trying to study for finals (which, probably doesn't even matter anyways I'll fail like 3/4 classes), my mind keeps drifting off. I can't even stress eat because I haven't even been eating correctly the past few weeks because I've been emotionally abused about my body my entire life. Man what a life. I should really get back to studying for the only class I'm likely to pass. Thanks for reading.",4.91112624410686,6.023086686746987,5.855830277632268,78.78911733892092,69.18072289156626,8.785961236249348,29.79622839182818,9.085049710711278,2.486206495547407,1348,51,254,25,23,445,171,332,0.198,0.695,0.107,-0.9916,2,0,0,0,1,1,29.0,0,0,2,4,28,22,3,3,10,0,29,8,1,2,2,46,54,18,1,5,12,3,2,4,0,4,4,0,0,1,13,15,2,1,8,1,3,5,11,13,2,4,7,2,31,9,42,41,2,39,0,4,0,1,10,16,1,6,20,170,44,14,0.0,0.1050994481707605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785813200392607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189869041157216,0.0,0.0,0.1009133303064107,0.0833401005002415,0.0682077144721957,0.07406393269164621,0.16221896249983747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985298782008882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282086613411014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280083340816494,0.0900324470734277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815321785070697,0.0,0.0997797884429267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101159685750672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970257049224742,0.0,0.0,0.19434126195745294,0.0,0.07545137115906046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200519482921162,0.0926881047848048,0.0,0.05041238979591585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594562591282831,0.09372039040014644,0.0,0.08810284639477044,0.08735533352439083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884397571682422,0.09813756556598696,0.0,0.09749853108104704,0.07230540182486059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253081749791646,0.1733447020486429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410066939783507,0.08956550888441002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511364806275455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492641006127234,0.0,0.2081494952167436,0.19699005154143145,0.0,0.08467777395907193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28691296162681884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872776240095122,0.0,0.11365179740605495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977293866676908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278497640039872,0.09454640351544266,0.0,0.0,0.1016098549806598,0.0,0.10154458061227904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669418662515339,0.0,0.15506198836949991,0.08166650255255165,0.0,0.0,0.05893083524240975,0.17051335909293894,0.0,0.0,0.10344774914144282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06022402894942665,0.0,0.08665068231236499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040891420435882,0.07115280406263287,0.0,0.15951066249806095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801659438693778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,convolutedform,2019/03/18,"My girlfriend is suicidal We've been together a year and I knew she had a history of cutting early on in the relationship due to the scars (minimal but apparent). In September of last year she began to express some suicidal ideology which I attended to by helping her get an appointment at the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health in Toronto. I have no idea what she said to this psychiatrist, but not enough to elicit concern, that is for sure. My girlfriend can be very withholding and it's hard to know what is going on without dragging it out of her. The psych gave her a new SSRI, which my girlfriend didn't end up liking, and came off. The ideology/threats continued. She told me in December of last year that she recognized she needed treatment, and began ""looking"" for a therapist. That was four months ago, and no therapist. I am doubting she has made any calls. 

​

I have anxiety of my own, I've been on a host of medications but currently am seeing a psychiatrist/psychotherapist who's providing me with anxiety medication (clonazepam). A couple of times she has been noticeably anxious and I have given her 0.5mg, which entirely calms her down and even lessens the ""dark thoughts"", uplifting her mood. Sometimes she refuses the clonazepam claiming, she doesn't want to take a pill every time she is uncomfortable, like I do. This happened the last week, then she left, went home, I saw her the next day and she seemed fine. When she opened her phone in front of me I noticed she had a conversation on do not disturb. I asked her who she was silencing, and she said it was a guy who she dated very briefly a couple years ago. He's been coming into her work a lot, asking her to hangout. She's told him she has a girlfriend, and he claims he only wants friendship and we should all hangout together. I ask why she's silenced him and she says because she knows it makes me a little uncomfortable when I see his name come up, and that he was only asking when she was working next. I asked her to show me if that was all it was. She then admited that she was asking him for Ativan. This shocked me because I offered her a clonazepam, she refused it, then ten minutes after leaving my house she texted this guy asking for some. She tells me it's because she wanted ""a lot"". I didn't understand what this meant, but eventually it became clear that she wanted enough to kill herself. 

​

She claimed that she texted him in the heat of the moment, and that she was going to text him back when he responded saying nevermind. She told me not to worry, and she told me not to tell anyone, especially her mom or her friends. It's been months of this, and nothing is being rectified. I feel like an enabler, and if she does hurt herself, and I knew the whole time, I will never be able to forgive myself. 

​

We have location sharing (find my friends). She occasionally turns her location off, but every time she's been sitting at home, and it's proven to be nothing more than an isolation tactic. Never has she actually been anywhere sketchy. However, she texted me last night to ""check on me"", then her location went off. I texted her asking where she was and the message delivered with no response. I called, but no answer. I asked her to let me know she was safe. It was 1am by this point, she's typically awake at this time, and she usually get's up in the middle of the night and checks her phone. Now it is 8am and I still haven't heard anything. She typically wakes up early. It's likely that she's just asleep and her phone is on silent, but I am so concerned that I haven't slept. 

​

On a more selfish note, I am a neuroscience student, the work load is heavy and I also work a job. I can't be staying awake all night with anxiety, especially when I have class or a test in the morning. This is incredibly stressing. I feel like I can't focus on my own life because I am so concerned with hers. 

​

Any advice on steps I should take... I know the initial reaction is ""tell her friends"", but, they are all so self-involved, I am not convinced they would do anything. It's more likely it would piss her off, and she wouldn't trust me enough to tell me when she's going through/thinking something. ",4.658512632436835,6.087490006112473,5.2343349633251846,81.8174600651997,70.08801955990221,8.387318663406683,30.381499592502042,8.841846274778883,2.433613137734312,3347,137,641,60,60,1075,325,818,0.105,0.836,0.059,-0.9882,4,1,1,0,0,0,131.0,2,0,2,5,16,27,3,3,41,0,70,10,4,3,8,106,129,53,3,12,19,1,3,6,7,6,6,5,2,2,44,39,0,4,17,3,2,11,20,9,0,2,44,12,141,17,74,73,17,102,0,1,4,0,144,37,1,10,58,459,185,9,0.04806496720079314,0.0,0.04690447453310015,0.05239790890448756,0.0,0.04696852966558949,0.0852133866986642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03843753690507992,0.0,0.26039185940364085,0.29202098060895393,0.06537165182899042,0.0,0.1103087050470186,0.05429973178791436,0.0,0.03360814263294678,0.0,0.07910674521126344,0.0,0.4044083043519601,0.0,0.0,0.03695899290404569,0.0,0.11719983153082858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815941099501446,0.054973517824342205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828074265608635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636594399478094,0.0,0.030997927528985367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04206197670151221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04257129450180682,0.14899187908211173,0.0,0.031746457524621984,0.0,0.08099361578341024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860618321479003,0.06867524434416235,0.0,0.0,0.04393050925122493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140462328707948,0.0,0.05022392310810361,0.0,0.08194928555344365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951837485843274,0.04250369175866952,0.0,0.04305676969021319,0.0,0.0,0.05109081251524778,0.0,0.0,0.03221693434866646,0.0,0.09642616216055276,0.0,0.0,0.055460518823689284,0.05145454149174585,0.054259497481780015,0.0,0.0,0.04769706340068088,0.0,0.053176764790325466,0.0,0.10566099586427896,0.15671745365744805,0.0,0.05089386023224855,0.05222272749985772,0.049149685463971166,0.033949707783873594,0.14089269071421506,0.04817372425514798,0.0,0.0,0.04036246697734512,0.0,0.0,0.08172623258924325,0.0,0.045480234127678,0.03208373883711645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684079552757184,0.04843818193746413,0.0,0.0,0.05629310867045458,0.07672999650627553,0.0,0.0,0.03563956415040013,0.07414133163297852,0.04642144483429427,0.10223527580641537,0.13531714712331305,0.0,0.09223926469698998,0.1094445674611212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311114689315279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04543692997511517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160378696182292,0.0,0.0,0.09144158114938424,0.0764463822091862,0.0,0.0,0.07660311173350101,0.043756540945681766,0.050142243370266286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037002759993006215,0.047537481579613385,0.0,0.0,0.05123085978866399,0.03838474489460265,0.0,0.055058257533935874,0.0,0.0,0.10515054571562643,0.0,0.0453006627612258,0.0,0.07227774715204564,0.0,0.16804359953071668,0.0,0.0,0.11161426305428836,0.0,0.030798090203955263,0.0,0.038158215048493926,0.14013534451504855,0.0,0.0,0.18371254375710325,0.0,0.0,0.05228088211168253,0.0,0.05003732595813652,0.0,0.0,0.0529367708042558,0.07931726342247146,0.11339985190154775,0.0,0.038554817454348085,0.0,0.0,0.08911341227487124,0.043371156871309983,0.05366281938074996,0.0,0.04633291317921017,0.0,0.13996747429269565,0.0488123073214351,0.0,0.06828794729632784,0.0,0.29202098060895393,0.12380905202183895
mentalhealth,spruker,2019/03/18,"Tips that help you stay consistant with mindfulness / practicing gratitude / other things that help curb anxiety?  A little bit of background :
So I've had anxiety  for maybe 5 years or so (basically from beginning of university til now). At first it was unfamiliar and scary, I cried for no reason, I was afraid of my own brain (it just NEVER shut up) and I was unaware that my negative thinking habits (mainly about the world and how everything was so hard, rather than about myself) were shaping the way I viewed the world.

After realising the way I was thinking was causing myself and those around me pain, I began to question my own thoughts, saw a psychologist (mainly CBT), while studying neuroscience to UNDERSTAND what the heck is going on in the brain in mental illness (I am now a neuro researcher in EEG).

I know, so deeply, that meditation, practicing gratitude, slowing down and doing all these little daily things is the key. HOWEVER, after at least 2 years of attempting to make these things habits, I am finding  I literally always slip away from them.

Does have any tips to keep themself accountable to these little daily habits? Things that help remind you that it's the small steps that matter most?

I'm talking physical, practical things... I'm thinking about getting a whiteboard to start my day with gratitude... But knowing me I'll do it for like a week and then stop.

Only thing I do in my life pretty much every day is go to the gym and eat breakfast. The rest changes.
Maybe someway to fit it in there? ",7.70703237410072,8.025036564748206,7.400638489208635,72.95045413669068,62.84892086330935,10.691007194244603,34.64118705035971,10.411451182825502,3.644380575539568,1207,48,207,26,16,382,164,278,0.097,0.82,0.083,-0.4453,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,2,1,2,14,3,0,1,15,0,17,7,2,4,2,35,35,17,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,24,10,2,3,10,1,1,3,3,2,0,1,11,3,23,1,38,24,10,46,0,0,2,0,8,21,1,3,20,151,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092292471284123,0.0,0.0,0.07542788811870538,0.0,0.169703583128489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874033252396863,0.0,0.0,0.10421089746738887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109347897286538,0.0,0.0,0.2476418312960849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394310498585572,0.1173362950228506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183796364093367,0.14306557317440538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706488925789322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349657084573088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934530062911954,0.0,0.09968574096040553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137683366078462,0.09434659973331767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057949957620628864,0.0,0.12607425123258653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099360536748928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230375324707244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858881162884438,0.0,0.0,0.1219150128776072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783445022036031,0.054188820457607485,0.3335062384120987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403847373373477,0.0,0.22286361956733866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177902548371214,0.0,0.11199533006251552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815373243783782,0.0,0.0855466232062397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435796333421375,0.11802432910754924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284324922366225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425328874891987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404194237973216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850816952321077,0.11822358628700742,0.0,0.09273222350154736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891515032013017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4421330326399033,0.21321488784625156,0.0,0.08805632089629728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546931180514428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608272836002534,0.08897154580065282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285481646411174
mentalhealth,Erodoriel,2019/03/18,"I’m tired I’m tired, I’m drained, exhausted, lost, angry, happy, sad, hopeful, frustrated, disoriented, confused, broken. I feel all of this easily within the space of a few seconds. 

I had possibly my worst mental episode. I had so much unnerving anger and frustration, I was kicking and yelling, and I wanted to lose control, I wanted to break and just drop. I feel like I’m the host of some shitty demon that’s just fucking with me constantly. I’m just a shell. 

I’m so tired, of everything. I’m in pain constantly, I want to explain everything that’s happened to lead me to this point but I’m just tired of telling it. 

I’m so fucking afraid. I’m afraid of seeing a psychologist, I’m afraid of opening up and being vulnerable with someone. I wish I could just talk to my mum, or my dad. But I can’t. 

I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to cry and scream and lose control but at the same time, I just have so much built up inside me that I just can’t bring myself to do it. 

I don’t know who I am anymore. And this feeling will fade, maybe for two days, and I will think it was just temporary and I was being ridiculous, but it comes back. It always comes back. ",1.3643967921896802,3.4681942594142257,3.154837866108789,90.1808481520223,81.30125523012552,6.326429567642957,23.765864714086472,7.492282038375204,1.0600333333333332,904,33,194,14,24,301,115,239,0.242,0.691,0.067,-0.9885,0,0,0,0,1,0,39.0,0,0,0,6,14,21,6,4,6,0,18,8,0,3,1,49,50,19,0,7,13,2,3,1,0,2,6,2,0,0,13,15,0,2,7,0,0,4,4,18,0,2,6,6,26,3,24,39,7,21,1,4,1,2,6,8,2,4,8,125,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194064649422616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191625907669197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699275857911104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036322387888854,0.0,0.2388115647822347,0.24785895464348745,0.08822122318786703,0.0,0.12137350954881745,0.07126009904008629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986114651094476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760869383643714,0.07893761137726164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043015938517929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771031568029573,0.11762392447878332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974641288773294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145026506888415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053982249216129256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472311617373712,0.12061828597301892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100702461409384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135291670573162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245299778958575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175744128336297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445343892995916,0.12456644925007555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805016599583547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362200903018024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881165198216785,0.09657745291531293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080069969604191,0.0,0.0,0.06443049148896336,0.5079907430632153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793750653010743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606911274980943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706373461002715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,onetucker,2019/03/18,"how to support my s/o while dealing with executive dysfunction my fiancé recently landed a job in his field, and while he’s really excited about it, it’s his first time working a nine to five and his commute is terrible. I am currently unemployed, so I am doing my best to make life easier around the house by doing chores and making diner, but my unfortunate slurry of mental issues makes it difficult to even do routine self maintenance (showering, eating, brushing teeth, etc,) much less take on tasks that have been collaborative up until now. any advice on dealing with chronic exhaustion and executive dysfunction, so i can better become the househusband i want to be?",11.88275,9.57271844166667,11.765000000000004,53.460000000000036,56.25,15.6,44.0,13.968273953766033,6.4543,543,24,80,18,5,183,91,120,0.138,0.755,0.106,-0.738,5,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,4,7,7,0,0,4,0,10,6,1,4,0,13,16,11,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,4,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,11,4,16,14,4,14,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,8,64,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18457135377619416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284448796094898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814324833916386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086031247368455,0.0,0.0,0.19821791110151146,0.16704901426085847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894539806135941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932713979135605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065113250000114,0.12475346119277722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066123481064934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21794216496238186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19714165148476648,0.1874342591878566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334115325855411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782366078008321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19034661885967605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884853566334296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210013670342284,0.0,0.18649621717771786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19704303724469785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143387900733327,0.0,0.0,0.1420142565109941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013744919498857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140632000038307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750689237438599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,axehak9o,2019/03/18,Girlfriend mental health is afecting me So i will start ord with saying a little bit about my self and my realation ship i am 20 year old and a guy 4 mounths ago i meet this amazing girl she is smart she is kind and beutiful like crazy But here is the catch her mental health is really bad she cries on most Days and has anxiety a large part of the day like when she is Good its awesome i am really happy then when its bad i can usualy fix it i known som techniques for that. But its like i get tired and frustrated when she is felling bad and i tell my self i cant do this anymore following that i have to do it for her. I feel responsible for her mental health and ive given up on things to help her like going on parteying with friends etc etc. I can get like frustrated att her for haveing anxiety and i know its not Fair she cant help it But i feel so tired of worring of her and constatly helping her i am not gonna leave her i love her to mouch for it. I dont know what to do here like any advice would help ,0.27345890410958873,2.355116214611872,2.0856449771689505,96.36216609589044,85.48401826484019,5.659132420091325,19.17066210045662,6.996647511020387,0.11841689497716867,797,22,188,11,24,262,112,219,0.13699999999999998,0.635,0.228,0.968,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,8,18,2,0,5,0,24,6,0,0,0,23,36,18,0,1,5,0,2,6,2,3,5,1,0,4,14,11,0,0,5,0,0,4,5,5,0,0,1,3,37,13,19,32,5,19,0,0,0,1,29,5,0,1,16,124,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586776432306973,0.09603612040248824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367433767371764,0.0,0.16575830769876135,0.0,0.10744332602735024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713759968467438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827829311476733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900546997462914,0.13973957922495805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269726779075128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416535826782697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095590597760892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370255918611845,0.0,0.11320546955260867,0.0,0.061571636094682414,0.09086973960190124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727279238096436,0.0,0.11532904061926155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34547835350279793,0.0,0.0,0.2904697964462987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281855391409334,0.11908072796768415,0.0,0.0,0.11471551779289267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175742200485267,0.10858429085007093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977803134689669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275411471960795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368371419167103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732074277815735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880966841129805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615564115692079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22604272441777026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668300857762071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946931930687623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197571781441905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24903983309753455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769610243491439,0.0,0.0,0.06976686109738697
mentalhealth,Faustus_Bane,2019/03/18,"Morality and mental health? As time has gone on, I’ve realized that I’m not like most of the people in my life. I’ve come to realize that I have no true sense of right and wrong, and morality is not an issue I have. I won’t go out of my way to be “bad” (unless reward outweighs any punishment or consequence), and even then I’d only consider legal consequences matter more to me than personal ones. I’ve lied, stolen, and basically if it’s something I can get away with, I see no problem in it. Despite all this, I still manage to have people in my life who love me, and I guess I don’t know if the person they see is just another part of me, or a facade that comes out around them. 

For a while I thought this was just a new person I was becoming, but after a lot of introspection and thinking, I’ve realized I’ve just been shielding myself from this buried version of myself. Even growing up there were times when I blatantly disregarded moral boundaries. Once when I was around 16 I was watching the pastor’s kid and we found an electric fence and somehow I convinced him to see if it was on. I lifted him up but his mom caught us right before he could touch it, and she freaked out, asking me why I thought it was okay and what I was thinking. I didn’t really have an answer for her because the truth was I was just curious as to if the power was on, didn’t even think about what would have happened if he had been hurt, nor did I really care. I would have just been worried that I’d get in trouble for the act, not actually caring about the act itself. There’ve been several instances of this throughout my life, and honestly? It feels good to feel to understand myself. 

I suppose I’m just curious about outside reactions of all of this though. ",5.754660056657222,5.4426219943342815,6.469703966005667,80.11458427762042,67.01699716713881,9.8928611898017,31.24773371104816,9.516144504307137,2.6070715014164305,1376,48,281,25,20,454,183,353,0.116,0.789,0.095,-0.7798,1,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,2,0,2,2,20,18,1,0,14,1,35,5,0,0,5,70,63,30,0,9,19,1,3,1,0,3,4,0,0,4,19,21,0,2,14,0,0,8,10,7,0,1,24,7,42,11,45,34,7,35,4,1,4,1,19,17,0,11,10,206,61,2,0.0,0.0,0.10627103614396352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740559748666059,0.11419151604867285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938888060131688,0.10180713024008373,0.0,0.10231546707931158,0.0,0.09092724656666952,0.06638464483750774,0.12027188479271952,0.09266618010659612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22206233684559848,0.0,0.0,0.18761602402832614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694807112509077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21578296966067206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012658183802612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940361690571008,0.0,0.0,0.1137918802212867,0.0,0.06189058061597255,0.09134044993924748,0.0,0.0,0.11996601713232395,0.0,0.0963002231258321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575598357041225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658008096395099,0.0,0.0,0.11366367606014248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05984878640190262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23075862114803025,0.053203212047301295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258318640018454,0.0982868209657468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974594289061963,0.0,0.0,0.1275427780765833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517664020218226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159753225648653,0.07379369802878838,0.08282362622489159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792847079248593,0.0,0.15099558684124054,0.28526276509882204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420293117456997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952871026319566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18600061407262572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603384475619528,0.0,0.0,0.12302640242497075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383681266630882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696796313521186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093368483375644,0.1069940445905798,0.17290943309666404,0.12700134398901408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336910877643187,0.13099371695130016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644003187091516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826563084560064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059359532885972,0.0,0.15471937352595003,0.11906544130438253,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RiseRaptureRise7,2019/03/18,Panic attack help. They come on at the most random of times and it sucks hard. My chest feels tight and honestly it feels like my heart will burst and I'm gonna die even though they have been diagnosed as a panic attack I'm able to identify them when they happen but I still can't stop them when they do. Any help. It sucks harsh to have to deal with ☹,1.3855428571428554,3.2323642400000026,2.276571428571433,97.824,79.93333333333334,5.885714285714287,14.714285714285715,6.868970318607317,-0.6683714285714291,278,3,66,3,7,87,54,75,0.242,0.625,0.133,-0.8135,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,6,0,5,8,4,2,2,0,6,3,2,0,0,12,15,8,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,1,4,9,2,8,12,1,8,0,0,0,0,9,2,2,2,6,38,12,0,0.19728150385475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415818769225688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488723822347805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699405470727061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20338856787248247,0.0,0.2002365736695391,0.2047470542686284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303025726898867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19950291198981726,0.14093794577254176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744553823265836,0.0,0.17672547741742156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337795319412854,0.26446726703642864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638177770976007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4629346761979338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575492638173108,0.16493617090355353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938280758843865,0.0,0.11503643139353302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChillerDude218,2019/03/18,"Why the fuck do people need sleep It's such a waste of energy and effort. Honestly it would be so much better without sleep, if people just could choose when to sleep

The effort getting to sleep every night is huge, it consumes most of my life. Can't sleep every night! And it's fucking disgusting",3.697241379310345,5.776232862068966,4.192620689655172,85.66444827586207,73.82758620689657,6.708965517241379,21.944827586206888,7.554174236665415,0.9264165517241376,238,6,44,3,5,75,42,58,0.147,0.693,0.16,-0.1795,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,4,5,3,0,3,0,6,8,5,0,0,10,10,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,7,2,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,3,28,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603340664272534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280563681107375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25918494830960515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843917418947927,0.08035994435345188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086413190963109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306884627372613,0.11404897167204082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886825703756509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21326648144986066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7696108349030255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387905817401568,0.0,0.0,0.14826839857971555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926298276087744,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slash-the-6b6e696665,2019/03/18,"Sporadic episodes of homicidal thoughts/tendencies? Currently in the midst of one right now. They come and go sometimes and are most likely a result of my preexisting mental state. Usually when they happen I get really fixated on school shootings and I watch the reenactment videos. I look up pictures and even occaisionally throw on an all black outfit with black baseball cap in the mirror late at night. When I do get this way it is much less severe than when I go towards the other end and become suicidal. It mostly stays as fantasy but my question is how ""normal"" or rather how concerning is it? Even as I write this and re read it, it seems very wrong and needs to be addressed, but on the other hand I dont want it to be addressed. I want to keep my dark little fantasies a secret and have nobody know or do anything about them.",5.525951972555744,6.781087106918242,5.780606060606066,79.3636363636364,67.8679245283019,8.800686106346484,29.54888507718697,9.095868883498916,2.471422641509434,666,24,121,12,11,212,106,159,0.076,0.8959999999999999,0.027000000000000003,-0.6926,1,0,0,1,0,0,14.0,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,0,8,0,10,1,1,3,1,31,23,19,1,5,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,10,10,0,1,4,4,0,4,1,1,0,1,0,5,14,1,19,21,5,26,0,0,4,0,6,10,0,6,10,88,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244976721808486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911796667628983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911368943345335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028764914537633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331868289510833,0.0,0.0,0.22866699785480865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18087929509479272,0.0,0.1967578806687192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307521452847306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386270744493738,0.0,0.0,0.09513338100753073,0.0,0.1952687485695986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456982583625884,0.17349559226200995,0.0,0.0,0.14536368573666966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744480252102842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127251290277272,0.1283543546993422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624462916687474,0.16960507680858736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729968830753455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19391599411725746,0.0,0.17315075279275075,0.0,0.1108947963106564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782979196419638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519039689433055,0.0,0.15758729689446194,0.0,0.1955581444423152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712041916796179,0.0,0.0,0.18450573416433366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18934757990666093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906494991850496,0.14282885335165868,0.2042023403036022,0.13740182517748506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892619495468919,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anthony723,2019/03/18,"Does anyone else get these strange sensations sometimes? So I’ve had OCD for about 4 years now but I didn’t find out until about 6 months ago.  About 7 months ago I was in a state of extreme anxiety due to my OCD which led to my depression and then me finding out I actually have OCD through a psychiatrist. A couple months ago, I don’t know exactly when but I started to get this strange itchy sensation all over my body when I would get anxious. The only time it would arise when I wasn’t anxious is when I would be in a hot shower but sometimes my showers don’t trigger it at all. Over the past few months it’s become less frequent and less intense. Also, about the same time my depression hit, I started to get twitches all over my body. I still have the twitches today but again, they are less frequent and less intense. ",4.1137272727272745,5.3529850545454565,4.576136363636369,86.74420454545456,71.18181818181819,7.4393939393939394,30.113636363636363,7.793537801064563,1.8487272727272728,654,27,133,8,12,207,91,165,0.149,0.8390000000000001,0.013,-0.9697,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,13,2,0,0,8,0,14,4,2,2,4,22,22,15,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,1,18,0,20,13,9,36,0,2,0,0,1,8,0,0,26,92,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.12477510652348488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400264956080933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225139092960507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781426725785276,0.2888958840484366,0.0,0.08940425447305916,0.1310099798053265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412138036977662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28405225887054353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147714183487964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22025512808610975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189311202742176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681249856204793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337275505595664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672109822451409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026974582691012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082336955234773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724499882425547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220589805265122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529180589697747,0.0,0.18100310987196835,0.0,0.10211095382213377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911500630696645,0.0,0.12119845748122825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724890103658386,0.0,0.0,0.082339093489337
mentalhealth,johnnyr9,2019/03/18,"Feeling like there's danger around me Hello everyone I am a 16 yrs boy living in Thailand. I always feel like there is danger when there maybe isn't . Many times when I return home from school or when I am outside my house without my friends or family members I feel sense of impending doom around. Once I was coming home and I feel like someone was following when in reality he was just probably live in the same area as me and even though at the time I also think that way I still feel like I need to hurry home and feel like I'm in danger, after that I didn't go outside for a week even though I knew that it's just a coincidence. Events like this happens many times but mostly it is very minor. But one thing that always scares me is when I will put the trash in the trash can before I go to sleep. Everyday at around 9 pm (or later if I'm lazy) I will take out the trash and put it in the bin outside and also locking the gate and the doors before I went to bed. And every time while i am doing this if there is a car passing through the house I will feel scared every single time that something might happens and I would walk quickly into my house to lock the gate and the doors. I don't know if this is normal or am I thinking to much but this feeling of danger is really annoying because every time I went outside I will feel uncomfortable and I would want to go home. I probably watched to many movies and just being unrealistic but I wanted to know for sure if this is normal. Thank you.

Sorry for bad English.",5.861855203619911,5.201880102564104,6.3932880844645545,81.91445701357469,66.88461538461539,9.007843137254902,28.929864253393664,8.124751697461798,1.7514963800904972,1200,33,250,13,17,392,144,312,0.115,0.816,0.069,-0.9585,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,23,18,5,2,15,0,27,1,1,0,1,58,57,34,0,11,16,0,9,6,1,7,0,0,9,1,14,17,0,0,14,0,0,12,4,9,0,1,7,10,33,9,31,42,4,47,1,1,1,0,5,14,0,10,26,169,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210178226644747,0.1259179298304161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020724673832183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317673668704467,0.04612440588847168,0.0,0.1287699140014356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517830791025328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995144008387892,0.0,0.19125193406713745,0.07230071770902942,0.0,0.0,0.07132980145001802,0.0,0.3443244183211651,0.27027383941135585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05845824173668029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290057181743657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381981901021262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035908419776876,0.0,0.0,0.26192018683946816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316651306008364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22179525578966214,0.0,0.13362636343616086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301359255607926,0.07601520801204363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026812777242942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562214851756131,0.05610430326015872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827038297252665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058027370820384,0.051272255628127435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16315835945199253,0.0,0.0,0.15212753793531122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048472646656673835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150682375253738,0.07657656164958665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571919157301531,0.0,0.06411032559133215,0.05825026533292161,0.0,0.08470026622516873,0.0,0.0,0.06042580540667016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131294060489954,0.0,0.05689032318221988,0.0,0.0,0.0696617495238186,0.0,0.0,0.05026816326858732,0.0969655737283774,0.1486800675796284,0.0,0.26472363689837664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062431175954353976,0.08925782108182842,0.06005899594380056,0.060693536022788874,0.0,0.0,0.14028358724361095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293792373450862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749984730337672,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ayeghosti,2019/03/18,"I'm not sure what's wrong with me I never feel connected to reality.. Like, for example; I recently started school, and I can normally breeze through a day without too many problems, but sometimes I just snap into reality. I suddenly become aware that I'm there, that other people are there, and they're perceiving me and viewing me. I could be the weird dude drawing by himself in the corner to one person and a really nice dude that spared a dollar to another. People have opinions about me, and sometimes people think about me, and it all just hits me and I feel so weird and it freaks me out. My hands never really feel like my own, and I don't remember much of my own life. 

Any google searches I do about this lead to depersonalization, but I don't feel like I can't control my movements or anything, and i don't feel like I'm watching myself. I just feel like I'm in a constant state of disconnection, and whenever I reconnect to reality it freaks me out hardcore and I have to take a good while to recover. I often question if any of this is even real.. I just don't really know anymore, hahaha",4.655061162079509,5.655806188073398,6.1541467889908255,76.82586850152909,69.6880733944954,9.483058103975537,30.58837920489297,9.725611199111238,2.922542140672783,871,35,166,20,15,297,116,218,0.099,0.813,0.08800000000000001,0.1936,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,13,14,0,0,7,0,13,2,1,2,4,49,28,18,0,4,10,0,7,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,16,0,1,11,0,1,2,9,6,0,1,0,9,31,8,23,25,4,17,0,0,2,0,3,6,0,5,13,119,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17016050715309342,0.13119053741729056,0.0,0.0,0.12407719854908965,0.0,0.0,0.10295627774246968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817605500063512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520131257627302,0.14032342207606235,0.09989152060504616,0.0,0.0,0.08068670320317411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263510499681433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37956144086313104,0.3575193246465574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493776709610704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875812427686469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883701012988839,0.3056163111906001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684363764574666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919715029426258,0.0,0.1929877284526336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258291280816452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477893312388958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602101216113735,0.10924272004733206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197150104866101,0.0,0.0,0.14015374920534668,0.0,0.0,0.14240451727809494,0.24044929673367094,0.0,0.12353272078098987,0.0,0.1417271792146258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266197306791829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474773620690616,0.0,0.08855471281859795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791630675,0.0,0.09406843614299623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016653246212882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206032245456938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679001534484267,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JD32397,2019/03/18,"Depression, anxiety, or something else? You ever get a feeling of almost like impending doom? More specifically, like nothing matters and you feel you have zero control over your life? Just an overwhelming, gut wrenching feeling that it just doesn’t matter? Every now and then, I feel this way for a few hours or so. I’ve partially linked it to drinking specific energy drinks. If I try to concentrate on it and identify the feeling exactly, it’s very hard to do. It’s not a suicidal feeling at all. More like “holy fuck, what am I doing with my life?” I also immediately lose the feeling of drive for my hobbies, and just can’t feel why I even like them, or why they even matter. 
It’s an odd feeling that I’ve had sporadically for quite some time. I even had it when I was in a relationship, but feel it’s more frequent now since we broke up like 5 years ago. I mention this because it seems to not be directly linked with my level of contentment or anything. 
",3.9645161290322575,5.77509846236559,5.233096774193552,79.62964516129033,72.44086021505377,8.615913978494621,30.14193548387097,9.21078282632365,2.7539251612903244,758,33,143,17,15,252,114,186,0.094,0.76,0.146,0.5417,0,0,3,0,0,0,23.0,1,4,2,3,12,11,1,1,8,0,10,6,1,1,3,40,23,14,1,1,11,0,11,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,14,7,2,1,13,2,0,1,4,6,0,1,3,11,18,5,17,19,6,18,1,5,0,1,9,6,1,8,15,99,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867481467668758,0.0,0.12276315393017567,0.0,0.0,0.09804075067593533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937863446315222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088685837485628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473397352925218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750292376608694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559258852846733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24019671013918986,0.0,0.0,0.1024140351088707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429224225294435,0.11089597597961796,0.1032932327450251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6198871043217478,0.08758329813096223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133389210210294,0.06405185555422746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982280244787143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073331778195835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318772764129542,0.2994734287233613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715464762559101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763509684583932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039696577406892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162326254025727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116076748593634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014134784593936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943811351844542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341011842330332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148727769114897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323529350650134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115533764173487,0.0,0.09731176644118678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124938899427848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894842761824322
mentalhealth,mistakeinthemakingg,2019/03/18,"Confused by doctor patient confidentially How does this apply to things done in the past? I keep reading about how they can report things if it’s something about you currently posing a threat to someone or yourself, but if I did something bad in the past and told my therapist, how would that go down? ",8.341369047619049,8.128516589285718,7.493571428571428,74.58476190476192,61.67857142857143,9.609523809523813,36.52380952380953,8.841846274778883,3.146245238095238,243,10,42,3,3,75,45,56,0.155,0.845,0.0,-0.8385,1,0,2,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,0,5,3,1,1,3,0,4,1,0,3,0,11,7,8,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,5,0,8,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,4,3,33,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028869076425282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487110607119255,0.21264261340912072,0.24866363357484736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380970939680704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21598111034729472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4639238312158076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24305624453561345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058850518287109,0.37413189798949303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821306848941275,0.3228641659335597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321878242775465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261347083711112,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlelunaris,2019/03/18,"How do you know you're ready to go off meds? I've been on Lexapro (15mg) for over 4 years now for OCD, Panic Disorder, and Depression. I started taking it when I was 17, and I'm almost 22 now. How do you know you're ready to lower or even stop taking your medication? 

Somedays, I feel like my depression and intrusive thoughts are completely under control, but other times I worry I'm spiraling. I've been pretty stable for for around 2 and a half years now. I'm out of therapy. I'm no longer suicidal. I just worry I'll rush into something I'm not ready for.",2.8393582375478914,4.155825905172414,4.7970114942528745,83.62691570881229,74.43103448275863,8.259003831417624,25.819923371647512,8.841846274778883,1.893211877394636,439,15,91,9,9,151,75,116,0.231,0.645,0.124,-0.9247,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,3,0,1,9,4,0,1,1,0,6,1,0,3,0,20,19,9,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,2,4,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,4,1,9,1,15,15,0,18,0,2,0,0,3,7,0,2,10,50,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18474617024996126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642406235586836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934406260655488,0.0,0.20692803785739772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31781240075519473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144848770323996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218579185295384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328675978455063,0.13180403394294504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485337201040801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027884373523108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013546373976997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049335493707323,0.18586038714055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21646639391719555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876988373761385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420340933818727,0.0,0.0,0.13058727256982833,0.0,0.0,0.15424698117337474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018087628078416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774361774733929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098734251393106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464692763595943,0.1075811459075664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37472944275442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237618848698242
mentalhealth,John_Elway07,2019/03/18,"Advice for recently ending therapy? I was seeing a therapist for 2 years and recently I had to move, so we transitioned out of it. My therapist was like a very close friend. But right now I feel a little upset. I know we aren’t supposed to be friends, my mind clearly can comprehend this. And this isn’t the first time I’ve left a therapist. I’d seen one for about a year before and moved and I was ok. And yet now, I still feel abandoned. I don’t want to go into detail, but I’m aware that this is probably due to issues that I have. Does anyone else have an experience like this and have any advice? 

TL;DR: any advice with a recently terminated therapeutic relationship?",2.880839598997497,4.960652165413535,4.791146616541358,80.45308583959901,76.21804511278195,8.643859649122808,24.6171679197995,9.2995712137729,2.237907769423559,530,18,103,14,12,181,84,133,0.03,0.851,0.119,0.8306,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,1,6,7,0,1,8,1,13,0,0,0,1,21,21,9,0,1,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,7,12,0,1,3,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,5,4,12,5,12,15,0,22,0,1,2,0,5,6,0,0,15,67,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770318971786689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491994523618878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992788623765544,0.13177729213637285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943859140798244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254845877845074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743808866883456,0.0,0.11391127950031965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258063549848955,0.0,0.0,0.13005929433009608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093965539151821,0.0,0.0,0.1987292662718808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309266397128729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423659622060718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068130869069042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13973635939712484,0.0,0.0,0.1256657947514209,0.12890213070609322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986056941176588,0.0,0.0,0.2733865361582136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715022414614193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386645411183879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809638990047284,0.1380802127037428,0.0,0.10983319470875097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248641218672246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027090074522393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707802555968227,0.4479822729301653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749941789825056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611764416200872,0.07585817142995156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564269062725756
mentalhealth,d-ugly1,2019/03/18,"PPD: How Long After Birth Can it Happen? Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this, I'm kind of new to it, sorry if it's not.

I'm 15 months post-partum, mother of twins, and lately I've been having really bad anxiety attacks. I'm not new to them, I've experienced them in the past, but these are different, way more intense and they leave me with a lingering sense of hopelessness that pops up during the day.
I had a hard time right after birth, but I thought it was normal due to hormones, lack of sleep, etc., but it wasn't after months later that I realized that it was worse than I thought. I was ok for a while until now, which makes me wonder if I actually suffered from PPD and it never really went away. Has anyone else experienced this?",5.231282051282051,4.956283666666668,6.3738461538461575,80.23782051282053,68.1025641025641,9.753846153846156,26.948717948717945,9.444778638647367,2.0144794871794875,596,15,125,11,9,201,97,156,0.182,0.7879999999999999,0.03,-0.9691,1,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,3,0,2,7,1,0,6,1,11,1,1,2,2,23,21,12,0,5,9,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,15,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,9,3,11,3,19,12,3,28,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,4,20,81,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.14991523211672456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752222850259265,0.0,0.0,0.1074177368786993,0.15740632951033587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747699076441044,0.14433515991645254,0.0,0.1282699385400808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907501463140472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050477748343758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833345497391196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133178997940504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584952990619295,0.0,0.13761726757538895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599761490871353,0.0,0.0,0.17329498952697092,0.16266603444516595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359527400456855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254546507166204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24524302534156264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848459077563392,0.2967427626810246,0.0,0.0,0.15051927266686668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466518515383414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942593763991262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968314203478513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262388758445684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373532345438426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196991349600366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478915797464234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439211918734084,0.08957961008988675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193988044447425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241133728588112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665990845100371,0.0,0.0,0.15655636544134255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,western_questions,2019/03/19,"How do you deal with trust issues? I have bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety to preface. I got out of an an emotionally abusive relationship two years ago, and have been with my current partner for about 9 months. He is great, and kind and trustworthy and things have been working out great between us. 

Due to the nature of my past relationship, especially because it was the first time I had experienced a real betrayal, At that time I had lost my ability to trust, at all. I couldn’t trust myself, let alone other people. I even began to doubt my greatest support systems and my therapist. And I have been working though that a lot for the past few years. 

Now cut to my current partner- who I logically know would never lie to me. However I still find myself doubting things he says, or making up scenarios in my head of him being in love with another friend of his. (These feelings are irrational, I logically know they are not based in truth). I constantly convince myself that he is lying. I have also never been “jealous” in past relationships.  

I saw a infographic of what a “healthy relationship” looks like, and of course trust is one of the main components. 

I don’t want to be abusive or unhealthy to him because I have these irrational trust issues. When we talk about them, I always inform him that the thoughts I’m having are not based in truth or based on anything he has done in the relationship, but they are made up in my own head. But still, I don’t want to be having them, and I don’t want him to feel any amount of pain over them. He is the kindest, most understanding person I’ve ever met. 

How do you deal with these feelings? When you know they are caused by insecurity/anxiety etc. 

(I’m currently in therapy, practice meditation, as well as journaling and I’m in the process of getting on meds) ",5.1564347826087005,6.631263078260869,5.9699710144927565,76.8401739130435,68.94202898550725,9.230144927536235,31.481159420289856,9.592334608150935,3.0086498550724645,1442,61,265,32,25,473,176,345,0.093,0.78,0.128,0.8544,4,1,0,0,0,0,42.0,2,3,6,4,14,22,2,2,14,0,37,5,2,5,6,58,62,23,0,5,7,0,3,1,3,1,2,1,0,3,13,17,0,0,12,0,0,0,8,6,1,3,15,7,46,16,49,41,9,43,0,1,2,1,38,18,0,7,25,201,59,2,0.0,0.21132881883190435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790532070866509,0.0,0.0,0.0923641898231786,0.0,0.07131768100247804,0.07420539020137401,0.0,0.0,0.06064585542067926,0.0935136183816384,0.1364458057023248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338802215726241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872731282574907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161302594446932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963725295883106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388253290522796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220867579084388,0.0,0.0,0.0912627005224604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031615389968998,0.0,0.0,0.09945992525850417,0.05890293481319524,0.08066894413645216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352771489164645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150943835949094,0.07585695940279875,0.0,0.0,0.0689006981674307,0.0,0.046593174476319534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071325860023949,0.1966438179354524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18305001607373875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18616272022190847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286785501547848,0.14703395048559104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119318956226803,0.0,0.04356912877790401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488923006361843,0.0,0.09735114247441014,0.07581814359915026,0.08048895912562921,0.08438482511107745,0.059528732483633336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990595247751168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118309151376194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756312876023247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060431071897605985,0.0,0.09489442933778842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25539887597236904,0.06182658823429911,0.07786904630921933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150702898797707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4787328628979785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091998003997647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243945955824128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012010701660565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167997551745807,0.0,0.0,0.10198577025172872,0.10354553190400193,0.1184952349542474,0.0,0.08761947122837736,0.07079942232439955,0.10400383169167914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871164723638633,0.09284013332362548,0.10727326233373542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780305753489893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018405539589676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298490549352782,0.0,0.0,0.06335132833329263,0.0,0.0,0.11485874470985905
mentalhealth,manicboiii,2019/03/19,"Told today by a clinical psychologist that I show signs of manic depression Don’t know exactly what it means, but apparently my behavior is along the lines. I recently cheated on my wife with a few women and it was quite sporadic. We’ve been married for 6 years and in love since high school. Idk what happend. So it happened and now we’re in counseling and I was explaining to our counselor(were staying together and working through it) that I have excitable times where I wanna drop everything and travel. And then I started explaining how i tend to jump from one decision to another. I have sold 2 Xbox ones in the past few years and I bought another a few months ago. I play an online game and when I get obsessed with having s perfect record and when I lose I just create a new account. So same thing kinda happend with my wife and I thought I could just start over because our communication was crap at that time. Anyways, I’ve also been dealing with depression since I was 15(I’m 27) and the beginning of last January I had my closet suicide attempt and had to see a mental health physician for about 7 months. It helped, but after we stopped it came right back and fast. Apparently my suicide ideation is bad enough so they say. Anyways, idk I was hopin to hear from others experiences. I know I’m terrible for what I did and this certainly isn’t an excuse, but I was just hoping to find someone to relate to. ",4.630786064425769,6.363823209558826,5.252605042016807,80.4736274509804,70.58088235294117,8.563305322128853,31.334733893557424,9.107695989026183,2.7984322128851544,1131,50,209,23,21,364,163,272,0.172,0.73,0.098,-0.9713,2,0,0,0,0,2,23.0,3,0,1,5,16,14,2,1,10,0,19,5,1,1,3,47,40,26,2,3,6,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,15,22,0,1,8,5,3,3,2,8,0,2,16,3,30,6,31,23,5,37,0,3,1,1,17,9,1,2,23,146,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526476081593415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398585643321534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726979778056906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998592104189692,0.10857057128307727,0.07926577661347955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872098454766916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381928531280403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405639666406596,0.2239912623155368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435692810916372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168636050232614,0.12719540686203668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884610710922493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793590430532882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498610850151865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821702229220484,0.14655454621830716,0.0,0.08715713283532495,0.1373850396113872,0.0,0.12915026271382868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292342890838816,0.10599273489379553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547158603757684,0.0,0.0,0.11735818145581314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416420324221997,0.0,0.0,0.131040806419868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075792322626218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558488619814212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762249326708036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412943736044245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830412424246638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839006460755256,0.0,0.0,0.1110458838872978,0.0,0.10340598234576988,0.0,0.13159845666568448,0.10361798414305584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151262069856826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017496375406123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407342165222806,0.13859589505148914,0.0,0.1087118562374735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28446592656706665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638691217080062,0.0,0.0,0.10323020128940796,0.15164440793327896,0.0,0.1232543174717949,0.12425032753322834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466421926996876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747158305783574
mentalhealth,not_so_plausible,2019/03/19,Here's an audio file I listen to whenever I'm having a panic attack. Hopefully it can help you! [Let me know if the link doesn't work! ](https://www.excelatlife.com/mp3/panic.mp3),5.242000000000001,8.869500200000003,5.821666666666669,66.6825,80.33333333333334,7.0,17.5,8.07648339933343,1.213000000000001,146,3,22,3,4,47,29,30,0.209,0.629,0.162,-0.3786,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,8,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,14,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577202693155855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21076213581780415,0.0,0.0,0.3123093236950165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280769889511066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215356424373328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7378538916588162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289156651878424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cyadren,2019/03/19,"Is it normal for me to not enjoy daily fun things because I’m so worried over finding an internship? I’m currently a junior in college and I need to find an internship for this summer. I always expected I would get one, all of my friends in college already have one lined up, but I just keep getting rejected. I feel like all of my emotional energy has been put into this, worrying about it, trying hard not to get my hopes up, feeling like a failure. I’ll be doing something fun and then I’ll remember I don’t have an internship figured out yet and what I’m doing is no longer fun. I literally am struggling to make future plans because I just don’t see the point in making fun plans when I don’t have my life figured out yet. ",3.659907862407863,4.923614560810812,5.364029484029487,80.56917690417694,72.31081081081079,8.354791154791156,30.346437346437348,8.841846274778883,2.5511540540540545,577,25,111,11,11,197,89,148,0.223,0.665,0.112,-0.9603,1,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,7,11,0,1,6,0,15,1,0,2,2,28,29,7,0,5,5,0,3,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,6,2,0,2,1,4,14,9,18,26,2,18,0,1,1,0,1,10,0,1,9,77,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18836112256099996,0.0,0.14202810286648387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081025910450091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19200374779474416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261240968841393,0.24388253979546065,0.0,0.0,0.31201590247002703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318749947994372,0.0,0.2675360978268749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529050889839318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953410067467178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171748772876048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056369130849146,0.16678143426181066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22787436108759454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656478335401328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724037024144414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313284917042628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613576185809601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159101675035782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335897134556296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601816509146306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314058242197331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844268747312658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339913026263153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588759052343725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466888133129759,0.0,0.12125357676621552,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MoralynnMango,2019/03/19,"Extreme anxiety and depression after abuse I recently left a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship and I feel like I’m spiraling out of control. I don’t have health insurance and I barely make money to even pay my bills so therapy isn’t an option (yet, working on it) but I’m so deeply unhappy, stuck and scared. 
My ex turned me into a total weirdo. I didn’t have friends for a year and only went to work and then home. He also didn’t have friends so I feel like I became odd. I say super weird things to try and make conversation and people have actually told me I’m really weird. I feel like I can’t make a good friend or date because my behavior and language is different. I think I forgot how to communicate. 
I used to have a lot of friends and could talk to anyone without someone raising an eyebrow at me. 
I smoke weed at night to get myself to sleep but I’m scared what I’ll become if I don’t have something to dampen the fear and flashbacks I have daily. 
I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense. Has anyone else gone through this? ",3.3786903440621536,5.013213339622645,4.914095449500556,82.04244728079912,73.62264150943396,8.00710321864595,27.093229744728077,8.671277953709913,2.0219691453940065,836,31,165,16,17,281,125,212,0.183,0.6679999999999999,0.14800000000000002,-0.4534,1,0,2,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,0,4,7,15,0,3,8,0,17,2,1,7,1,36,38,23,0,3,6,1,3,3,4,0,1,1,1,0,5,14,0,2,4,0,3,2,8,6,0,0,7,4,23,9,20,30,2,15,0,1,0,0,11,6,0,5,10,100,28,3,0.0,0.2748770039971845,0.11319718341668902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276345078889224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873804927966297,0.0,0.0,0.16221680868554333,0.11885352075935922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071122189439542,0.12811052848218324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301014691764805,0.09261485642749416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990879121284103,0.0,0.0,0.12119308011277555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690133174638688,0.13048198531976232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661549587787786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052984753169494,0.1759560177782292,0.24860669395388285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35847865123672185,0.0,0.060604096864593185,0.0,0.0,0.09729350574063457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330030626640782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635531655463632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603201980547687,0.0,0.0,0.17001209278651006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861723676097324,0.0,0.0,0.3097179026939353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885613845882516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822160345095023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041831414734629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431120265996471,0.0,0.11453389767150213,0.1245382960977631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224615811833517,0.2322681978557125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608163734249745,0.0,0.09828461464787523,0.08930082367506699,0.0,0.12985011306257774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323469002352562,0.0,0.0,0.1326536680235689,0.0,0.0770638272437281,0.07432674814938245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084093105522333,0.0,0.07875493608378248,0.12617236757243916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018491164167803,0.0,0.09571038696326599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075311830542631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111817802535564,0.0,0.16889565460007475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469882196672052
mentalhealth,hellohibye2,2019/03/19,"What caused this to happen? I’ve been having a rough week, I’ve spent most of my evening and night crying. I was on my way home I started getting a really bad headache and my chest felt really weird. I then noticed that my hands felt like they were numb and I wanted to throw up. I started freaking out hard. Now that I’m home I feel slightly better but my fingers are shaking bad.

Is this like a panic attack or is there something else that I need to worry about?",1.4163157894736855,3.6757519473684255,2.5234210526315834,93.89144736842108,82.15789473684211,4.6421052631578945,21.07894736842105,5.6839178017228535,0.006557894736842318,365,11,76,2,10,116,65,95,0.292,0.644,0.064,-0.9719,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,4,11,1,2,3,0,7,4,3,1,0,13,18,6,0,2,2,0,7,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,6,4,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,8,0,0,6,7,13,3,8,12,1,12,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,8,47,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075823690295497,0.0,0.0,0.30470437475593554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137708945168616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18744370455978865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004312526300946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152427628808273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051762505390318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092260715379631,0.0,0.3503935565762933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533139137152546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161354821488512,0.0,0.16345444594984507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660582302021977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17828815975411738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529684772013306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17123276602565846,0.0,0.0,0.20773970348087012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408551872285048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23378585642135516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047188576356892,0.0,0.0,0.25830193297725684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762366810564022,0.1448336821999683,0.1463638905342757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853039302800339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dzhlert,2019/03/19,"How can I make my SO understand my depression and anxiety better? I’ve had problems with mental health my whole life. She on the other hand, has no experience with mental illnesses. I suffer from depression and anxiety.
Some days I don’t get out of bed, even if I have school. Some days I can’t bare myself to shower, eat or even respond to anyone but my GF. I always try to be as good as I can be for her, but lately it’s really taken a toll on our relationship. What can I say to make her understand my overthinking, my exhaustion (which is ironic as I barely do anything) and my overall shitty mind?",3.096,4.861003266666671,5.216666666666669,79.03500000000003,74.66666666666666,8.8,24.5,9.3871,2.2351499999999995,472,15,90,12,10,164,81,120,0.209,0.7290000000000001,0.063,-0.938,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,2,0,12,6,1,3,0,19,18,12,0,2,4,0,1,0,1,0,4,1,2,0,4,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,2,21,2,15,14,3,6,0,3,0,0,8,3,0,4,3,69,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211429372835582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613138918474861,0.0,0.0,0.11942313907280484,0.0,0.14054891307352976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510534175122195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22029600687505554,0.0,0.2942092515390549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17476490532663938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22561565829080765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670693091562155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923281806476636,0.0,0.0,0.14325390766955742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154604004714253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19266307628757692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063685632481295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22801264842076496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34424037062261204,0.0,0.17245325660107802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16342679602856874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941501268381497,0.0,0.0,0.18336884291200786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13582224751139071,0.0,0.1728526507644053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595791781152942,0.0,0.0,0.3556051640218751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906854065676227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pgxpg5naf,2019/03/19,"My problems I have a lot going on.. Anxiety, Anemia, Autism, Depression and possible PTSD. All, diagnosted by a doctor. I have not been fully evaluated for PTSD but my doctors say that I may have it. And all of those problems can link to gastrointestinal issues. I have constant nausea and eerie bowel movements with 0 explanations for it, I've had 1 X-ray 4 Blood tests and an upper and lower endoscopy. Yet, nothing. I live with constant pain in my muscles, limbs and stomach. Nothing I do seems to help my anemia, and that seems like the first thing I have to fix to get my life together. But, it's just that if it is gastrointestinal that's causing every single one of my problems, then I cant do squat and my life is dead for good. I dont know what to do, no amount of pills or therapy has made me feel better. It seems like all I have are youtube, memes and my boyfriend. I try to exercise, but no matter how often I do it it is still excruciating and it never gets any better, so it's not like I can go out and get some vitamin D and lose some weight. Exercise seems like the best option but I just cant do it. I dont know what to do anymore. I'm just always so damn tired, I feel so numb yet in so much physical pain. I dont want to go to school, I'm getting harassed by bullies and the constant exercise is killing me. Not to mention the lack of sleep. Someone please help me..",3.5862720848056533,4.505675780918729,5.0224929328621934,84.2564955830389,72.10954063604241,7.9214840989399296,27.930918727915195,8.238735603445708,1.7377704593639574,1078,39,228,16,20,362,145,283,0.228,0.639,0.133,-0.9872,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,5,12,19,3,0,7,0,28,18,4,3,4,56,47,25,2,6,12,0,3,4,0,1,13,1,0,0,18,16,1,0,9,3,0,4,11,11,0,2,3,4,28,8,25,43,11,18,0,2,0,0,4,5,1,12,13,156,46,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946081936256845,0.0,0.0,0.06494096115650919,0.0,0.07305463585778561,0.0,0.09470696422096818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021778761834424,0.16891796044076887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810131159039416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30959368899007833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225107966981618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195489628574486,0.0,0.0,0.3357639038621977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046000230000465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657189830158207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812293572224605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995721232942405,0.0,0.16281875158521755,0.0800980153486244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801871291804964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967363720785026,0.0,0.0,0.10565283636127702,0.0,0.10496486529253098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490414225633135,0.18661925567457813,0.0,0.08432524535130065,0.0,0.0,0.10683626574697246,0.0,0.08118779237718772,0.0,0.09036118975854528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702009872917125,0.0,0.07365286332773825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18326312210871065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471096607552293,0.0,0.20323022593537687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482658718878557,0.0,0.10765806528365454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27413204071614805,0.2232608247053536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594272744689623,0.0,0.09664765519635422,0.0,0.34774606379293715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556556420465737,0.0,0.08091395733632445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626370628430244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920868208540148,0.0,0.06344369616865254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975929094358176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483592127962721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632636755727851,0.0,0.0,0.11628912907011613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mayonaide,2019/03/19,"I’m scared to get help My whole life I’ve been thinking about suicide, breaking up w S.O. , and just overall negative thoughts. I often literally punch my legs until I get bruises and I’m so sick and tired of it and putting up a fake smile with everyone around me. I want to get help, but I’m so scared to go and ask for some. What am I supposed to do? Do I call someone? Do I go to therapy? I also don’t want to tell anyone really because I don’t want anyone to feel worried about me. ",0.84375,2.6687251057692367,3.1025384615384617,91.34246153846158,81.59615384615384,6.083076923076924,24.823076923076925,7.1686216300943375,0.9922453846153848,377,15,85,5,10,129,63,104,0.201,0.708,0.091,-0.9259,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,2,1,0,7,4,1,0,0,17,22,10,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,1,12,0,16,20,2,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,1,52,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581873023790706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549953550089778,0.0,0.0,0.16232292600160753,0.1704650372365976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111539135567206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619143973169344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174235474073108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921975299249084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857983088227771,0.0,0.2072581773873156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444398282065618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879345763537142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330394587786653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681287319709505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651120500362255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449767756582086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19945241415884324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937483434934935,0.0,0.20852382342501105,0.0,0.0,0.11683730979910308,0.0,0.1447590796532287,0.0,0.20957515984009245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226498836466488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20357818978907954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851770234698227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CeleSimple,2019/03/19,"I can never do the things I want to do, even if it is my passion  Hi y'all,

So I am here because I have been struggling all my life with something that hasn't been clear to me.

In preschool, teachers noticed I did not perform well, and that I was often distracted. When my father came in and sat next to me, I got a lot more done, and even excelled. My doctor diagnosed me with ADHD, and I have been medicated ever since. The problem I have found, is that I do not believe ADHD is my only problem. I am not able to do anything that takes any mental exercise on my own. In school, this meant I would get class work done decently well, take longer on tests, and hardly do homework. I have always been disorganized, and frequently lost and forgot about papers I was supposed to bring home, or I would remember them, and want to do them because I knew it could just take a few minutes, and then find it to be to late, there was another assignment not done. Somehow I got through school like this, my grades being made mostly by tests, in class assignments, projects my parents were present for, and zeros on most of my homework. Later in high school, things got more difficult. More independence, more difficult and tome consuming homework worth more points that I couldn't get myself to do, and this culminated in my nearly failing, or actually failing AP classes, yet still getting 5s on the exams. I always knew what I was doing, just could never do the work for it. Now I am in college, and failing out. I also have a lot more going on now, but I still have the same old problem. This whole time, if I were with someone else, I would get things done. But since most of my time now I have spent alone, or with people who didn't have time to spend on me, I have failed.  
And this isn't just with school work, I have noticed. That's just the part that makes my career path difficult. In my own life of doing things I love, I quite simply just haven't. I enjoy playing video games, or sports, or reading, or programming, or archery, or playing flute. The problem is I don't do any of them on a regular basis, and can't get myself to. I can't even get myself to text much with people I can't see (snapchat saves me here). But if I have someone to do it with, suddenly I can do any of them, and holy heck is it fun. If some friends or my brother start playing a game with me, I will finally play games, even though I don't play them on my own. I joined a soccer team in middle school, and LOVED it, but I could never practice on my own. I hardly read, but when I go to summer camp and don't have my phone, I will eat through books during rest times if I am not tired, and love every second of it and wish it wouldn't end. I love to make programs, but I only ever could get myself to do it during school, whenever I could get away with a little free time, that or I would watch college lectures because I found them so interesting. Never would I do that at home on my own when no one is around. I have been doing archery since I was a small kid, like 8, but I only ever did it when I was at medieval re-enactment events, or nowdays when my friend asks me to do some shooting with him. I love playing flute, and play in a concert band, but I just can't practice it at home. Its like I need to have those 80 or so people and a conductor just so I can live my life.  I don't understand why this is the case, but independence feels impossible to me, yet inevitable, and thus leading only to failure.  

What is going on?? I need help. Sorry that was so long, but I just can’t TL:Dl this. 

Thanks, Celeste",4.822656621232962,4.86839257083907,5.4456105414530445,85.44902604101539,68.95873452544703,8.204689258471928,28.764818056771286,7.7669595915474945,1.5844913342503442,2777,89,592,29,44,899,277,727,0.085,0.7909999999999999,0.124,0.9924,1,1,1,1,0,0,102.0,0,1,6,13,43,41,0,2,18,0,95,15,0,7,9,134,142,63,0,26,40,3,3,3,2,8,8,1,6,1,38,36,1,1,9,20,4,6,25,14,2,3,35,6,101,28,70,91,25,77,0,5,2,6,29,33,1,26,41,452,139,40,0.0551376460832364,0.0,0.0538063888761704,0.0,0.13252947144707422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057105972698217926,0.0,0.0440935556520813,0.09175787705197548,0.0,0.0,0.11248647026114947,0.057816629458198376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0453735846945863,0.04908419487388952,0.051546256052722506,0.0,0.05180363351551984,0.0,0.0,0.10083419184963767,0.0,0.0,0.06212124574376239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306277828270422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22011461903184332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596355013615288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05643571714830549,0.0,0.22569982129993896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056419577071585826,0.04606042819433071,0.0,0.048835588709340016,0.0,0.0,0.14567158088981028,0.14962547271629734,0.04645584489230248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027879250560581,0.0,0.0,0.06040059617733695,0.05039480961739661,0.0,0.0,0.12091116596899483,0.08519841717812725,0.0,0.23045715484858165,0.0,0.0940079847499676,0.0,0.13229583747777546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878500150634537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036957601917895856,0.0582559503537743,0.16592266401106334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219766640870807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683605012752173,0.08081240629856383,0.055262406554766975,0.04868755166000222,0.04879508170312856,0.0,0.0,0.06018925402720185,0.09375210991816918,0.24881939153775284,0.05217257389646693,0.07360961382279782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554537765429087,0.055565778739140384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04053251409004875,0.08176773184828619,0.17010220714980834,0.0,0.0586395121324786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554915103124453,0.05785768441395087,0.0,0.03736269595949748,0.16773865777516425,0.0,0.0,0.061223830874946615,0.05970869758375862,0.0,0.11467650395107455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05212289761086855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21103712319960144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864567363653141,0.11030513422665428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246020457057539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33481344896802,0.043937565233235984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683129185029855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343589719580338,0.04244765373653784,0.0,0.06172208060461042,0.039026709689621665,0.0,0.0880659907725472,0.0,0.0,0.057641839352650735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436994366961865,0.0,0.0,0.05076333653706587,0.0,0.0,0.14652400817070904,0.0,0.05417245732765977,0.0,0.1607560241816965,0.06337261309727604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574002341061775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504322445408625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991507311878437,0.0,0.049753149477887414,0.061559212773073635,0.06340557186991229,0.0,0.0,0.12042258910437464,0.0,0.0,0.19584100900590504,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,elephantel,2019/03/19,"Help for my ex Hey everyone! This seems like a sub where people need support and love from others, however, I was wondering if there is anyone here who can provide that love and support to another. I have an ex who I am afraid is in a really bad place and feels very isolated and alone. I am currently dating someone new and so out of respect for the person I am dating I don’t feel like I can be there for him. I also have my own emotions involved so I don’t feel like I can provide unbiased support for him. I tried reaching out to his friends but they don’t even consider themselves that close to him anymore. If anyone has it in their heart and has the mental capacity, can they please reach out and message u/siddonsk  I know this is a strange request but I would appreciate it so so much❤️ thank you to all of you beautiful souls ",3.966921568627448,4.972926300000001,5.275000000000002,82.47583333333336,71.29411764705883,8.725490196078429,30.637254901960784,9.075114841892004,2.5320784313725486,661,28,134,13,12,221,101,170,0.052000000000000005,0.716,0.232,0.9813,2,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,3,0,10,13,0,1,6,0,20,3,1,0,1,24,33,16,0,4,4,2,3,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,9,11,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,3,24,11,16,30,2,12,1,0,0,2,22,8,0,4,7,98,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537806803464664,0.0,0.1187395410092269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569440801590187,0.0,0.0,0.14725243418223818,0.20764157912945408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397474275303735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670202101698494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806975416898643,0.0,0.0,0.1418791686446031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252281109760104,0.21214853106377493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114715413633987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759497203619066,0.0995231303902692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160082019878467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176197380736678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26801830706064483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963309185963455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915001178353004,0.11009616717735443,0.0,0.14340307669092014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293745682577736,0.12964716024994793,0.15513017879029334,0.16298664261426898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951202011206813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351707733217172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258067690702476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5054806235529132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670059470977602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080829123186401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251169314191285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102041429270314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547605506632536,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lonergirlxoxo,2019/03/19,"I dont know why. Hi uhm for a long time I've been feeling really dismissive and I notice I have been making risky decisions without an ounce of thought. Often I've been lashing out on my family and not caring whether I hurt their feelings or not. I've been very unmotivated, uninterested, and careless with how I approach everyday life. Things that could be done in a minute takes me a thousand years to complete successfully. For some reason I will drag myself to work but won't even get out of bed to go to school. It feels like I can't feel anything like I'm numb. I truly don't feel like I'm living for myself. I feel like a Sim if you get what I'm saying. I don't know how to make myself better because I want to see the end. I want to stay. So how can I convince myself it will get better?",2.74479610750695,4.090954656626511,4.4598795180722925,85.83085727525491,74.72289156626506,7.035403151065802,24.215013901760894,7.61054688173877,1.0571238183503242,627,19,133,8,13,212,103,166,0.068,0.7170000000000001,0.214,0.9756,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,4,6,12,0,0,6,0,16,2,0,6,0,34,39,11,0,4,7,0,6,4,0,3,2,1,1,0,5,6,0,0,11,0,0,2,8,3,0,1,6,8,21,9,18,28,1,12,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,4,9,83,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522329693061033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853539793138361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476699733606387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275819469920736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680673555446058,0.0,0.0,0.1117933805679688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328754109839714,0.16410064173168873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401483322319087,0.0,0.0,0.09248090013274114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199698251173747,0.0,0.4247853706733449,0.3000877377668786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194616649888864,0.0,0.07957574150690222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989270249707318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390101397725495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889920891680792,0.2736238701965149,0.0,0.12363890266783813,0.12391196828898104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869268749106296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941199274900078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089699437864298,0.14396234027220595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113483328512146,0.0,0.14170619942005908,0.11157661796735342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924109325127966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527648810900582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302207118171092,0.0,0.0,0.11115905049898783,0.08164591461023367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552992820831667,0.16517308066011616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634491971730094,0.0,0.0,0.1349728395132655,0.0,0.1019351371870028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016732470607666
mentalhealth,vblm9,2019/03/19,"Just need to vent This year I finally went to a doctor about my anxiety (at the suggestion of some wonderful people on this subreddit and my sister). I got a prescription for sertraline. It wasn't working so I went back and gave the doctor information about the medication that works for my sister's anxiety, escitalopram. I had to convince the doctor that the sertraline doesn't work for me. He kept pushing it saying that it is a great medicine. I know it is a great medication that works for a lot of people but for me it did nothing. I now have to go 5 days before I can start taking the escitalopram. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I'm just sick of feeling awful all the time. 

The first doctor I talked to recommended me for counselling and I am now on a waiting list through my school. I just don't feel like there is anyone I can talk about some of my concerns with. I'm relatively close with my family but how can I tell them I hate myself? How can I tell them I feel like everything would be better if I wasn't alive? How can I tell my roommate I've known since I was 3 years old that I don't think I would be alive if she wasn't here? 

I'm tired of feeling worthless because I failed a test or because I gained some weight or because I remember my ex doesn't love me. I'm tired of all of this and worst of all I feel guilty for feeling of all of this because ... well I don't know exactly why I feel guilty for how I feel... I guess it all seems pretty small compared to other people's problems. I guess it also doesn't feel fair to put this on my loved ones or to worry them??  I've always wanted to be the person others could lean on when they needed support  but I just don't feel like I can do it anymore.  

I just don't feel like myself anymore. I feel lost and completely confused. I just don't know when I will feel okay again. Sorry for the long post and thank you for letting me vent. ",2.5032575757575763,3.9616826969696985,4.045845959595963,88.0971022727273,75.56565656565657,7.071212121212122,23.738636363636363,7.756953410329674,1.0103878787878786,1492,45,325,21,32,497,170,396,0.185,0.6920000000000001,0.123,-0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,4,9,25,21,1,1,17,2,37,14,1,4,6,72,80,23,0,9,14,3,14,4,0,3,9,1,0,1,20,10,2,2,22,0,0,5,14,7,1,2,12,15,59,14,40,60,10,28,0,3,0,2,22,7,0,14,19,221,79,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949859400898104,0.0619077390460321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383339283604647,0.0,0.14757194989598912,0.05202303255933536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05720991225865993,0.0,0.1814170666396722,0.0,0.06330992134096561,0.0,0.0,0.06580179451359408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800821807413667,0.0,0.0,0.059403285398686126,0.0,0.0,0.047982603820880335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046110273988957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076130977887746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686698007022362,0.0,0.07013880771896751,0.0,0.4890531148150849,0.21260886158191206,0.0,0.08150285221296621,0.0,0.06328560276807171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04228390321082204,0.0,0.059505417566211874,0.16405511961768535,0.16392256807175187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345575852286958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226668226238992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608024385931594,0.0,0.14539462686070506,0.0,0.0,0.06584269998086367,0.0,0.0,0.08121767310681538,0.06325321969405766,0.1342999333098024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990271595265114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033505936023937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138993551337358,0.0,0.07807151916728952,0.0,0.050416162749855366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474122352009126,0.06496423757886631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125576075293882,0.07569274426013363,0.0,0.07119187786278988,0.0,0.07479373217855796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842820293919107,0.0,0.0,0.05916680183946224,0.0,0.07529796276081828,0.0,0.06773203682102745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154542208513581,0.0,0.07445490819285104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328602583697456,0.05266153570492473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442957345844404,0.0,0.0,0.05594042542714284,0.11960169489354955,0.1950897230156126,0.06849860725662728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04767326974728533,0.0,0.0,0.04338392436643164,0.17102641518478146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04388374159893855,0.0,0.0,0.09060058924781758,0.06689559294319085,0.1379412721161324,0.06713548947630038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068490222995722,0.2166597705771041,0.07555800630856371,0.0,0.1057049222983362,0.0,0.0,0.09582383672340168
mentalhealth,RealUglyBean,2019/03/19,"Dropping out of study I am a nurse, currently working and studying. Where I live, many nurses do postgraduate studies to then apply for senior nursing roles. I applied for funding last year before I changed area of specialty and got into my course. I also stopped taking my anti-depressants right before I changed jobs as I was in a better headspace. Little did I know I find this new job extremely stressful. 

Due to work stress, study stress, and other life stressors (buying a house, the recent mosque terrorist attack is where I live, generally anxious and have low moods periodically etc) my mental health went downhill. I spent a lot of time crying and laying in bed so I went back to the doctors and am now back on my medications. The way I am living now is not sustainable.

I need to keep working to save for my house. I feel that without study, I can handle my job a lot better so the best option would be to put my studies on hold until I recover. However by quitting my studies I feel guilty as I have received funding for it. I also signed up to study with one of my best friends and we were going to do it together. Lastly, to make this all worse, my new manager wanted to make sure that I would be able to handle study before I started and at the time I agreed that I would be able to handle it but circumstances have changed. I just feel so bad for dropping out and hope everyone understands.",5.073485380116956,6.333403377777778,5.729142300194932,79.29798245614036,68.92592592592592,8.202729044834307,30.50682261208577,8.532816995589336,2.3865185185185185,1112,44,202,17,19,361,149,270,0.111,0.812,0.077,-0.8023,5,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,8,12,15,1,3,10,0,20,4,0,2,2,43,38,19,0,6,4,0,3,0,1,3,4,0,1,0,9,14,0,3,6,0,4,5,2,6,0,1,7,3,36,8,36,25,6,43,0,1,0,0,4,15,0,4,20,142,45,9,0.17955331219927126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358871889493224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142206748339563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213390689221928,0.0,0.13806541391671354,0.07495975786976525,0.0,0.0,0.2291799659328757,0.0,0.1884301235940867,0.15880031339510922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28491539458088505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861544113844707,0.0,0.0,0.0773245023475933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189021168062053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012470293837862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578544219727753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618132443200998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205423723380803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936122180195414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102214256527461,0.0,0.07180259313649191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542838728820917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916847638761702,0.0,0.2071804149888012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26726843524079946,0.07979761692953427,0.0,0.0,0.049338902329969035,0.14635991410375004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341190721431819,0.0,0.08997979458564426,0.2378232963616951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264980514461374,0.0,0.0,0.1198532301473326,0.09101943828166996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044053603713352,0.09047375365356622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665682529420009,0.0,0.1734137077895633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060834985611234925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025033585893412,0.0,0.09548852458899362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864361716189798,0.0,0.0,0.07666877377777373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354437926523514,0.0,0.0,0.07505730443184944,0.30851656871542193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461343591082338,0.0,0.0675008725442191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469898027288256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346066514354898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05295259780051857,0.0712605308525172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644771927638274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654149279260481,0.0,0.19607542462604505,0.0,0.0914900823998331,0.19132428202524498,0.0,0.0,0.057813223084874577
mentalhealth,jej3838jdj,2019/03/19,"I have feel like I'm unaware of my thoughts deep down and i make up my conscious thoughts. I feel like I make up my conscious thoughts. I can't describe it but they're not mine, at the same time they're not anyonelse elses. I'm making them up to seem like I think normal. I'm thinking how I think a normal person should think in an effort to be a normal person. I'm not sure of this, but I think it's likely. I feel like deep down I have a normal conflict free thought system which I'm supposed to be conscious of but i am unable. Its ruined my social relations and school. Should I see a professional. I feel like i might be able to handle it by myself becuass I'm not sure how serious it is.",0.6259948979591812,2.7782593673469407,2.3618324829932007,94.49336096938777,84.57823129251702,4.491326530612246,20.75212585034014,5.602791699666715,-0.0911629251700683,545,17,119,3,16,179,72,147,0.096,0.767,0.13699999999999998,0.6855,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,2,11,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,5,2,42,35,7,0,6,7,0,4,6,0,3,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,1,17,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,4,5,21,10,15,25,1,11,0,1,1,0,4,9,0,2,7,72,28,2,0.11635741397645312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720168872007544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23533521862240345,0.332503039176355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410781301733578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23300843207822866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343682841935914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4560222427148435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031976115391188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177599149700264,0.09272179409406098,0.10592741960531912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861173031432867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21933097127875145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37278566284828707,0.0,0.3694991577921531,0.06784894381120607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sceneybeanie,2019/03/19,Holding back? I don’t know why I am doing this? I feel like I’m holding back from living up to my full potential. Can someone provide explanation? ,1.035,3.6375958620689666,3.5133620689655167,82.78659482758623,90.3793103448276,5.658620689655173,27.9396551724138,7.1686216300943375,1.9872,116,6,21,2,4,40,24,29,0.0,0.883,0.117,0.466,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,3,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6286918955723224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20670418117979145,0.2920505007923096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22466863460821385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19972156038670244,0.0,0.3609824617652787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3463793006323772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688830874988974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Imnotcrazyhopefully,2019/03/19,"I can’t do it anymore I know that it’s not good to post this here, but... fuck, if I’m being honest, I have nowhere else to go. 

So, a little backstory to my problem. I’m young. I won’t say exactly how old, but I’m in high school, which gives you a decent idea. I’ve struggled with depression since sixth grade and possibly sooner, since I attempted suicide when I was four. But I can’t pinpoint exactly when the thoughts started, so I just say sixth grade. When I was in eighth grade, the person who was essentially my idol at the time managed to convince me to call suicide hotline. I did, and obliged when they asked if they could send someone to check on me. From there, I got a therapist, and was starting to feel a bit better. But... she was only temporary. She left, and it wouldn’t be for another year until I got a replacement. My next therapist, he was, well, he was fine. He tried to help me, but soon it became clear that I was out of his control. When I developed an eating disorder is when he said he would no longer be able to care for me. Then I got the therapist I have now. It’s been a year since then. My current therapist is fine. She’s fine. Not good, or bad, just whatever. I’ve barely managed to scrape by these past few years, and just this year I’ve already called suicide hotline more times than I can count. I feel so useless now. I’ve been tossed from therapist to therapist so many times and only one has been helpful. And now I’ll never get her back. This year I even developed this problem where I have no compulsion to respond to texts. I used to. Now I don’t. So I have no friends. I don’t talk to anyone. Don’t hang out with anyone. The only person who keeps me sane is my girlfriend. I love her, but I know I’m letting her down. She can do so much better than me. Everyone can do better than me.

So now I’m here. On reddit. A sort of last resort, if you will. I feel no desire to live anymore. I don’t see why I still am. 

The only thing that scares me now is my family. I wouldn’t want to hurt them like that. But... I’m going to die anyway. We all will, so nothing really matters. Some people will use that as an excuse to party or drink, some will use it to live their best life. Me? I have no life. I’m not happy. So there’s no reason for me to live anymore. I know people also say, “but what about the things you want to do in your future???” And yeah? What about them. I don’t care anymore. What’s the point in living just for the false hope of some fleeting happy moment that will only ever grant me temporary satisfaction? What’s the point in that? Why am I even doing this anymore?

And I guess... I don’t have the answer to any of that. So... that’s why I’m here. If anyone has any insight to this, I’d love to hear it. Otherwise I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’ve already called suicide hotline so many times. Suffered through so many therapists. Ruined all my relationships. Trashed my self-worth.

And now I have nothing left.",0.680305632856733,2.892187192495925,2.4591773822090026,93.48768364360429,84.90538336052201,5.4982151425007215,20.597087611553594,6.859792708899421,0.3666960176566545,2291,71,503,29,68,755,249,613,0.153,0.701,0.146,-0.8777,1,0,1,0,0,6,107.0,1,4,5,6,47,32,1,2,20,1,60,8,0,6,7,77,102,48,5,14,21,0,3,1,2,9,3,5,0,2,33,15,2,2,12,1,1,4,22,11,1,2,17,9,76,21,57,71,10,63,0,5,1,3,48,18,1,12,41,338,109,6,0.0546166439678502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205416494948204,0.04367691044863983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428238156532682,0.05727031331320465,0.0,0.0,0.3249902093164773,0.11456768208763655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0510591894049522,0.0,0.0,0.041996827927040715,0.04560261637441231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05731679826510053,0.1449119496452082,0.05962722962612396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730909999414664,0.0,0.11137061706746312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061257210357444414,0.04360694601156076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047041235418956995,0.0,0.05668345358259765,0.0,0.06259540575128399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053503518314973415,0.0,0.055886461839225035,0.0456251977804568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214755647785592,0.04940388133079826,0.0,0.052188543856138525,0.0,0.0,0.051487711176054,0.0,0.08284744871003917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04219668364711787,0.05049220726740155,0.028534942254352724,0.05239326161648461,0.06207979481596685,0.09161969938222192,0.13104575851940534,0.0,0.06016639086547375,0.0,0.0,0.11628086619228878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155692716854343,0.0,0.07321677036441147,0.057705483013867714,0.0,0.05424665096250899,0.0,0.0,0.05846824697588236,0.061655543078950485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854578264183041,0.0,0.0,0.09004763752828364,0.04451985442016312,0.0,0.0,0.11868228695442545,0.055849218847968736,0.07715470168109381,0.02668293344944361,0.054740225562983226,0.19290998898765985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985873071142677,0.0,0.0,0.16611811368647736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014951758796817,0.0,0.04212372283730465,0.0,0.05808542047212525,0.0,0.0,0.1048122858123716,0.0,0.05731098033584224,0.0,0.037009651442471064,0.2076920942889269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05213776666939406,0.07572860810100042,0.0953782937011254,0.0,0.0,0.10326076441812514,0.06157205977219912,0.05230764748635972,0.0,0.0,0.10452150427669676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03498882066490192,0.05615500638815763,0.0,0.05863783591305904,0.0,0.0,0.051952935499046685,0.13030004230442158,0.05468078856239401,0.05527495953892373,0.04352239400164445,0.0,0.056977071105916426,0.0,0.0,0.13553835684909424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04627650519625073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731588342153628,0.0,0.04361692242392031,0.0,0.0,0.05709717481996201,0.0,0.2389669754432188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04389878957965457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44389893256898105,0.07256974277539073,0.03499614013117235,0.0,0.04335951457214074,0.12738961725227832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03708111612350248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151373337878564,0.0,0.0,0.06442862336137799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049106922122350974,0.0,0.14784907831633945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03879809684669161,0.0,0.0,0.17585664019141992
mentalhealth,Dandere-Muffin,2019/03/19,"I skipped breakfast because of guilt and now I’m guilty So I did something bad and got sent to the office. Turns out my friend mis-interpreted a joke I made about some creepy photos I took of my crush. Teacher found the photos and yelled at me. I felt so awful I decided that I needed punishment. So I decided to skip breakfast the next day so that I’d be hungry. I did and then a few days later I feel awful.
It was a one time thing and I know it was bad but please reassure me.",0.21932343234323426,2.4567892079207923,2.2964603960396026,93.58911303630363,87.61386138613861,5.346864686468646,19.307755775577558,6.816661863887847,0.21553399339933946,374,11,83,5,12,125,65,101,0.168,0.733,0.099,-0.5761,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,1,6,2,5,2,0,1,0,16,16,11,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,6,2,0,6,1,0,2,0,4,0,1,10,3,15,3,7,5,2,11,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,7,53,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4077316389057259,0.14883943515173673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149297376302148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345609648198493,0.0,0.2344346699966035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677120129033059,0.18863964776239808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19527937262075468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418554221959372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231032835788735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18104369359282949,0.0,0.0,0.25967000984308153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545109730190186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680175390451842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18796852604572645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622109788276284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237334815231295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27127396135253823,0.0,0.2655791176863768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nerdygirlx0x0,2019/03/19,"parents didnt want me to be female eventhough I was born female. this is going to sound crazy, but ever since I was a little girl I was groomed to be more like a boy by my parents. Its going to sound weird but as I gravitated towards feminine activities, they would block me from doing them. I was never allowed to do feminine sports like dance or figure skating which I asked the repeatedly to do and they said no. But when it came to either neutral or masculine sports like swimming and skateboarding they let me. My dad actually went to the skateboard shop with me to pick one out and get hardware tools to build it. I was never allowed to wear makeup, This actually caused violent fights throughout my teens because I wanted to wear makeup so badly and my mom would scream at me and come in my room when I wasnt there and smash all my makeup. I wasnt allowed to ever talk to boys even as a 18 year old so I was never allowed to date or have a boyfriend. And I even noticed over time that as I talked to me parents in a more feminine sweet tone, my dad was more likely to make fun of me or fight with me. And if I talked in a more serious, direct, abrasive, and even slightly more manly voice, he would treat me with respect and nicely. Over years all this actually eventually affected me subconsciously and I just gave in and started being more tom boyish. And now I just feel like I am a tom boy even at 28 and give off more masculine energy than feminine. I wish i didnt get my natural desire to be feminine crushed out of me by my parents. I want to know if anyone else has experienced this before?",4.8524226190476165,5.5564403375,5.914107142857144,79.80208333333334,69.0625,8.845238095238095,29.61309523809524,8.976282227363876,2.3230907738095237,1268,46,249,22,21,422,159,320,0.126,0.745,0.129,0.7191,8,0,0,0,2,0,22.0,0,0,4,0,14,17,3,0,9,0,26,2,2,8,7,60,45,30,0,10,12,7,1,5,0,3,0,5,1,5,9,21,0,1,3,5,1,7,8,7,0,1,15,8,44,10,43,22,10,37,0,0,0,0,26,14,0,6,21,183,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.3107866758978514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422861774536713,0.10877211346500584,0.0,0.0,0.09924403593578933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863806399929326,0.06471334632752743,0.0,0.09033321818269326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141724954180942,0.0,0.10905420766829026,0.0,0.09144630335266096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868195560625132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804672291594687,0.1920532084939708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05367701859213962,0.07583978258880571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109270580876863,0.1018370796571105,0.1206648491565102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058342034535074624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855444332212584,0.0,0.2593188451471985,0.10639888678645988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708617435956678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243317636096097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456283567209877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208623614090259,0.11139567741382883,0.0,0.07193586934169766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4715066068243744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009812152861372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781555755567025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513966048146889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255978978594498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619019803279787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878454207760063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984101604182691,0.0,0.0,0.1220772435295908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262362424413953,0.0,0.0,0.13672541943653904
mentalhealth,tcs_hearts,2019/03/19,"I don't understand what's going on with me and I'm really scared. Hi everyone, I'm a 22-year-old female in Northern California in the United States. Something really weird is going on and I'm not quite sure what I can do about it. I mostly want to vent I guess, but I'd appreciate any advice.

This all started about three weeks ago when I started having extremely bad night terrors. Whenever I closed looked at the corners of my bedroom or into the mirror at night, I would see shadowy figures moving. Occasionally they would just be shadows, some of the figures were all black with glowing white eyes and teeth, some were black with flecks of red, similar to embers in a campfire. I could move and speak, so it didn't feel like sleep paralysis.

I started to hear things too, loud cracks of wood against wood, doors slamming, whispers coming from nowhere, I would hear my alarm when it wasn't going off, I would hear a low pulsing noise like some sort of other alarm, worst of all was the screams I started to hear in the distance. My girlfriend couldn't see or hear any of these things and confirmed they weren't real.

I started laughing involuntarily, almost uncontrollably, getting pain in the top of head randomly, and I'd start to get really weak. Consistently getting tired, lightheaded, nauseous, and dizzy every time I would go out to the store for fifteen minutes or stand in the shower for twenty. I couldn't go to work because of how much of my job requires moving around. Luckily I'm self-employed, so I won't get fired for missing three weeks of work.

I went to go see a doctor and a psychologist. The doctor appointment was largely uneventful, but the psychologist appointment was interesting to say the least. It felt like she was trying to get me in and out of her office as quickly as possible. She ignored a lot of my issues (the laughing and weakness specifically), and seemed all too quick to give me an antipsychotic. She also seemed to imply that the fact I'm a lesbian might have something to do with it. She asked me a lot of questions pertaining to my sexuality. (I had told her I came to the appointment with my girlfriend, so it didn't come out of nowhere.)

Anyway, since then I was prescribed a low (50 mg) dose of Seroquel, which she said would help me sleep and feel less anxious. She said I don't need a larger dose because I've stayed in touch with reality. I, for the most part, recognize what is and isn't a hallucination.

The meds have only made things worse, I'm constantly tired, more exhausted than I've ever been. It's extremely hard for me to communicate ideas, it takes me longer to think and even longer to speak. I feel like my mind and personality has dulled. The hallucinations have slowed down, but that's more because we got a night light. I still hear things at night, mostly screams, whispers and banging, and I see things in the corner of my eyes.

I'm getting paranoid and my girlfriend says that I'm looking disheveled and frantic the past couple days. I've been convinced that my girlfriend is just trying to find a way to break up with me because I'm such a burden, I'm thinking that our other roommate is plotting ways to get me kicked out or laughing at me behind my back, I'm convinced that the doctor is misdiagnosing me intentionally. I'm also starting to feel that the pills are making my life and condition worse, and I need to stop taking them.

I don't understand what's going on. The worst part is, I still haven't lost touch with reality, I know what's going on. I know that my paranoid thoughts aren't true, I know that the hallucinations aren't real, I know that the doctor is just doing her job, my rational brain knows all of this, but it feels like I'm in a constant fight with my irrational brain.

And then we have the imposter syndrome. I'm constantly wondering if I'm just doing this for attention and I'm fine. That I've convinced myself I'm insane for attention, or time off work, or something like that and if I really, really pushed myself, and I stopped taking the meds that make me so tired, I would be a normal person.

I have an appointment with the psychologist again tomorrow, but I really, really don't want to go. An instinct in my gut is begging me to not.

I don't really know the point of this. I'm scared and I don't know what's happening. If anyone has anything to say or relates/did relate at one point, I appreciate any comments.

Sorry if this is the wrong sub for this kind of post.",6.396785220446558,6.6063166046242765,6.726208772526352,77.04801201405421,65.61271676300578,9.60512297404511,32.56772072991046,9.376866141966733,2.8054558540179078,3553,135,673,61,51,1151,340,865,0.182,0.768,0.05,-0.9989,5,0,3,0,1,1,105.0,3,0,3,7,29,43,1,7,49,0,61,25,9,5,9,147,159,55,0,19,22,0,10,6,4,9,15,18,3,2,43,48,0,4,28,0,1,17,19,26,0,3,24,42,87,17,102,121,22,98,0,5,13,1,42,38,0,28,42,438,130,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046199843319631465,0.04190939275982595,0.0,0.047342424735676784,0.0,0.0,0.07561693735149018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645267033739556,0.0,0.0,0.05341106308332145,0.0,0.033058112207491865,0.0,0.03890604262372653,0.042087743138855306,0.04419886258887592,0.0,0.0,0.036354122506612026,0.03947543622050495,0.11528174061148835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555651899891376,0.0,0.05407382194623574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145220129419113,0.0,0.15327325769392386,0.0,0.0377479046797905,0.052312580169012385,0.0,0.030490615849991413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356552334596774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031226895413449657,0.042765962165574434,0.03983403766017187,0.045176476663518435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952673763033456,0.10132695928191407,0.045394617342736136,0.0,0.04321154310787683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290685662383914,0.045353688488940835,0.2418243138340309,0.0,0.037812804715177895,0.0,0.05208241794127955,0.0,0.041808076891857233,0.0,0.04235210315716277,0.0,0.04852121312370008,0.0,0.319716728411518,0.0,0.03168967241990761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337148725131829,0.0,0.0493463000841051,0.09383290776216924,0.0,0.0,0.04923311215369373,0.1818805614140601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033394087307598644,0.13858684276946556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940379073493994,0.0,0.05160988928767666,0.08038870212905584,0.0,0.0447359052071469,0.0631173135687364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503114758776473,0.0,0.0,0.05015484376972657,0.04773764239935354,0.0,0.0,0.15074816889032075,0.03475501729583173,0.07011257501359447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774700646033269,0.04632273169961048,0.0,0.0,0.049610661160476216,0.0,0.03203702443441685,0.03595730540673958,0.05030748348359526,0.0,0.0,0.10239566253525832,0.045132521913634566,0.0,0.08256323976911042,0.0,0.0,0.08938661953956402,0.05329922078476114,0.04527957749702819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052962557116699185,0.050286330550212865,0.0,0.10762619512898997,0.2423017043141435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994504942095244,0.1127928925675282,0.09466772536291863,0.0,0.15069885240528536,0.08608084393072153,0.049321616067072964,0.0,0.0,0.03910912857352775,0.0,0.0946249608432754,0.0,0.0,0.10919151991189066,0.0,0.05292422705836099,0.2342469497633872,0.050392416203318205,0.07551308131725007,0.07905361271657947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044559272703343804,0.0,0.10664227572255228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570481301417053,0.06058809812005009,0.0,0.03753371819703305,0.05513675651533992,0.16301847889706605,0.0,0.045176476663518435,0.0,0.06419777420226247,0.0,0.0,0.09843683146389257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577197569971201,0.07505468589146813,0.07584765962613695,0.0,0.0,0.0438274916639878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051271339253939736,0.10325757632090528,0.0,0.09636132813710926,0.2350962167349549,0.05169143916429037,0.0,0.030445698671464207
mentalhealth,PsychologicalPie0,2019/03/19,"With weeks until my 24th Birthday I fear I won’t make it. 10 years marks the time where all my problems seemed to have started. Maybe I should take this as a sign?

Last summer I had my first breakdown. An angry outburst at a family BBQ left me realising I really am alone. Confining in a family member they said the words which sum my life up ‘you’ve always been alone’. It’s staid with me. And now I feel I should do the one thing we all can’t escape from, and yet all have in common. 

No one goes forward alone.

I was groomed online as a child
I have an eating disorder 
I have depression 
I have anxiety 
I hate myself 
I can’t sleep
I can’t leave my house
I miss work
I want to be alone
I want to jump 

I never thought my adult life would be like this. I’m so sad and scared. Scared of everything that normal life is about.

Is it ok I take time off work so much these days for mental health?
What good is it doing taking time off when I just keep getting worse?
Why aren’t I happy?
Why is jumping so bad? 

I’ve seen a therapist before, but all I felt was £80 down a week and a feeling of dread for waking up the next day. 

I know I should get help, but equally I don’t see the point in this.",0.13498319327731426,2.1870349450980413,2.029236694677873,96.73477941176472,85.82352941176471,5.211484593837536,16.558123249299722,6.5431188927421005,-0.4097759103641456,921,19,217,10,28,304,154,255,0.163,0.767,0.069,-0.9559,1,4,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,1,3,9,14,1,4,14,1,28,7,2,1,5,34,50,13,0,8,3,0,3,1,0,5,4,1,0,2,12,7,1,2,6,0,0,3,8,10,0,3,8,6,36,4,23,35,6,34,0,3,2,0,6,13,0,1,21,138,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4415566419062704,0.0,0.0,0.08868665164332076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153667547381377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899341414001423,0.0,0.0,0.09069536419925396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374760744157602,0.0,0.09180087631213453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215480843357712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906231788202632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957910700553824,0.0,0.20095632961897408,0.11993693690849892,0.10778441969151337,0.0,0.10233761467114988,0.0,0.0,0.09066052634479604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113717648414522,0.0,0.0,0.08939782954077002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346093825678323,0.0,0.10522990126435842,0.0,0.11329409581882716,0.0,0.0,0.07144119005735841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298393829414415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473699719167053,0.0,0.0,0.05857592784508815,0.08688040636391615,0.0,0.1128573532867879,0.11580412215060434,0.0,0.2258508677390548,0.05207169096265202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114582843938294,0.0,0.10707822597842977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741187613869033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835170282538162,0.0,0.08220436039899777,0.0,0.11335358123164965,0.0,0.10442995545920956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444852071450234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075658704346743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198675269268707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828061315906091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138604914016168,0.0,0.21341889781421086,0.0,0.08493386436324027,0.09703031716555706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666124474558776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544089550083964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24041432133132445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237525534502551,0.07080985353801293,0.0,0.0,0.08461600548414214,0.18645043639915504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257323289127618,0.0,0.17099094603933673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19235145265638948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518923719703326,0.0,0.10861847775520132,0.0757144079667184,0.0,0.0,0.0686367759311625
mentalhealth,Dullpugs,2019/03/19,"Getting help but I can’t seem to be better. Mental health has always been a weak part on my half. I’m not the best at maintaining the feeling of happiness, or being pissed off. The thing is, I recently kinda just gave up. My grades are all failing, and I don’t even care. I’m just walking around with the same thoughts of suicide in my mind. I was sent to to ER as a suicidal patient and now am going to have to start therapy. I wanted this so bad I wanted how I felt to be recognized but I thought... I thought I’d learn something. But I’m back to before.... I’m still stuck and I can’t get out of this thing. I’m so just lost? My mood is changing intensely. From very angry to sad. As a pretty happy person it’s so odd to feel this way for a long time. (3 months) but it keeps getting worse. I’m in physical pain and I can’t ignore the feelings. They are so powerful and I want them all to end a-and it hurts so bad. I hate it. I’m getting so stressed at this point because the world keeps chucking me down. Everything I’m going through is getting tossed into a pit where the dirt keeps getting filled in to fix the hole. But with each scoop is about few problems. It’s suffocating me. I’ve reached out for help I was even in the hospital and got help but it still hasn’t gone away. I want to hurt myself but I can’t because I get checked on. I want to just slit myself open. Scream something. No matter what I do this time the feeling never leaves.... ",-0.17535444947209555,2.0645826209150364,1.7379738562091518,96.57703619909503,90.43790849673205,4.707088989441932,20.264454499748613,6.297961479604792,0.08135404725993034,1126,38,255,12,39,370,160,306,0.282,0.5870000000000001,0.132,-0.997,1,0,2,0,0,3,42.0,0,0,2,5,20,21,2,1,15,0,22,4,1,1,3,55,65,23,2,6,13,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,14,14,0,4,10,0,1,6,9,15,1,1,13,6,29,5,41,49,7,39,0,5,0,0,8,20,1,3,12,164,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812865894630029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696554292719416,0.0,0.0,0.09178374272723563,0.07511821175582356,0.1631355110621124,0.11910283629124432,0.0,0.08312769395683366,0.0,0.10252049027901497,0.0863995929907607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960230342615707,0.0,0.1033439359671046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652507181158063,0.0,0.0,0.1290477327141005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779821136025544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19758165883201206,0.0,0.09379850875250904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3572759559123193,0.0,0.11103989046137644,0.0,0.07813227430148326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079873924039584,0.0,0.09644946138805367,0.0,0.10384077518728484,0.0,0.0,0.19644029555754056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20916009013615064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604962727191973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344047468833616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645330301112285,0.0,0.0,0.10664107190322616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844937109872504,0.0,0.09863988134567712,0.0,0.07797588181780618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534518410612827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039499219527575,0.0,0.0,0.10578963994801988,0.0,0.0,0.08529985735585917,0.0,0.0,0.09234940292519746,0.0,0.0,0.09938668610440728,0.0,0.09347692288729692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096457900872791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893405502129599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041433449883276,0.0,0.0,0.06914606637717051,0.0,0.15603203272729874,0.0,0.11190450613950936,0.0,0.0,0.21371580605060825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117179683985666,0.0,0.12980288212094904,0.0,0.0,0.2326668006630063,0.11392860742809265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060515887338268,0.28810288846124904,0.07754242709388323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955529322374992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the-everymans-answer,2019/03/19,"Scary Text Message from Relative who has Schizophrenia -- What do we do? My Uncle recently contracted a nasty cough from my dad. He hasn't slept for the past three days due to the bad coughing, so he came over last night to sleep at our place. I've recently been sleeping downstairs on the couches with my mom, so I offered him to sleep on the bed in my room. 

Today, I received this series of text messages from him; [https://imgur.com/OMzmn7B](https://imgur.com/OMzmn7B)

The texts left my family and I disturbed. What was he trying to say? What does he mean? 

​

Some backstory: We live in Toronto, Canada. My uncle is 62 years old and we believe he has minor schizophrenia. He was never officially diagnosed but he talks out loud to himself frequently and claimed to hear voices. Sometimes, my family and I find his judgements off-key(?) or non-sensical. He assumes about things and just has this distorted perception of reality and the way things work. For example, I used to work at a grocery store pharmacy that my Uncle frequently shopped at. I was fired from my job, and about a month later my Uncle said to me that he overheard the workers saying, ""it's awful what *they* did to that woman"" and then continued to say how Food Basics workers thought I was a hero when very easily the workers could have been talking about ANYTHING.

To add on, I've noticed that my Uncle becomes more stressed out when he doesn't sleep. Years ago, he temporarily lost his mind. He showed up to our house late at night and he said he couldn't remember where he was going and what he was supposed to be doing. The doctor said he was under immense mental stress which caused the episode. My dad believes that my Uncle is currently undergoing mental stress once more which led him to send those series of texts to me. 

Other than that, my Uncle is a very kind and compassionate man who prioritizes family. He doesn't have any family; only my mom, my dad and I. I used to be very close to him when I was younger but over years I've distanced myself because of some of the strange things he would say. He's very lonely and used to come over once a week to hang out with us at our house. It wasn't until September of last year when he started to come over daily. Last month, he started to stay longer -- often arriving in the afternoon and leaving at 8 at night. 

Other than the texts, he hasn't said anything unusual. The only 'unusual' thing we have noticed about him are his more frequent visits to our house. 

He has hypertension (which he takes meds for) and diabetes. He only takes prescription drugs and doesn't drink. He works part time as a security guard which requires long night shifts. 

​

I truly wish to help my uncle. We think my Uncle really wants connection and someone to talk to but he has interpersonal issues. We've haven't done anything to help him all these years but I want to change that. I was thinking he could see a therapist but I just don't know how to help him. Advice on the options available and how to handle the situation is appreciated.

​",4.979322916666668,6.8668484253472215,5.135333333333335,81.04300000000002,69.9548611111111,8.106111111111113,28.425,8.713453558529999,2.21562875,2447,90,444,43,45,768,263,576,0.069,0.855,0.077,0.8346,3,2,2,0,0,0,93.0,10,0,1,9,17,11,0,4,24,1,43,13,5,8,2,74,70,36,0,7,8,5,1,0,0,1,6,11,3,2,30,33,2,3,9,3,2,9,10,7,0,1,22,13,57,4,75,42,7,81,0,2,1,0,82,28,0,6,42,276,87,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722024892023805,0.05190636403726212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033621598926787,0.21345586058596452,0.0398200903521409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455980476139732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04889181703809927,0.03569519623751994,0.06467050535618546,0.0,0.1319451279373208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697246850872918,0.0,0.060153145589861276,0.061944487455915874,0.10088162422781416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350440810162736,0.0,0.0,0.03776377804135336,0.0,0.0,0.05943311096013235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059934550814407274,0.05124275326636574,0.05992312179251715,0.0,0.0573625909284023,0.06790637376135154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208055550025509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351912636919378,0.0,0.07080615186592025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033278726213700816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599687166723038,0.0,0.11774656451902317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20269729848465032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06111725432855389,0.05810779813596879,0.0,0.0,0.06097706680652928,0.032180848152799015,0.1431928746589256,0.06605372247001197,0.06200235288895147,0.0636212691372551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051706023887801315,0.051820220449118964,0.0,0.0,0.0639207949549891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378465409410737,0.06504251938443695,0.0,0.11802135802160585,0.0,0.059124871096599835,0.13716016718220994,0.09347768667654707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045161999763695435,0.0,0.0,0.21980337037589112,0.0,0.0,0.13333279618674526,0.06144467549511767,0.12472046533639207,0.0,0.13360343789307075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341044555155986,0.05589833109236764,0.0,0.0,0.06117856064933702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0375124752554134,0.0,0.11563397841824978,0.0,0.06633253715684954,0.0,0.22280067408034088,0.18626433700205935,0.0,0.0,0.046661553519600926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581940133639047,0.2343931677889157,0.0,0.049614311745658016,0.0,0.057913384736408675,0.0,0.08289248132933423,0.06241290860873652,0.0,0.0,0.2012271125136684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805365449759968,0.14119529265825922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679880332691606,0.15560802727394185,0.0750406453123168,0.0,0.046486926011363616,0.034144476536803484,0.0,0.05550424454592588,0.0,0.0,0.03975568266070041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043566240211199,0.15172075882506014,0.0,0.1932593414790664,0.06907569599819252,0.046479030022112455,0.04697009396545791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733651420017285,0.0,0.0,0.12788840384382955,0.0,0.0,0.04159650483385995,0.0,0.21345586058596452,0.18854073210584646
mentalhealth,SmoothTechnology,2019/03/19,"Did I hallucinate? Not sure if this is allowed or not. Apologizes if I broke a rule.

I'm a 22 year old guy about to graduate college. I have trouble recalling long term memories but nothing else of note. 

I was in a class waiting for class to start. I took out my notebook and a pen. I went to write the lecture number at the top of a page. My pen didn't want to write. I tried scribbling with the pen for a bit and then I tried shaking the pen. Nothing worked and I just had pressure lines on my paper with no ink. I turned around to see if someone had a pen for me to borrow when the professor walks in. I look at the notebook and it has a lot of scribbles in ink now and my pen worked.

This all happened in about a minute and there was no one who could have written in my notebook without me noticing. Plus my pen did work after I turned around somehow. It is so strange because I looked at the notebook with only pressure lines and that IS how I saw it. I looked at the notebook for a good 30 seconds and there was no ink. This wasn't a simple case of me not seeing something or being rushed.

What does this sound like?",2.0625536480686684,3.715265416309016,3.1337575107296125,93.34501394849786,77.24034334763948,5.690042918454938,25.813090128755363,6.2581,0.6994894420600861,874,33,193,6,20,280,121,233,0.114,0.8320000000000001,0.055,-0.8824,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,4,12,8,0,3,19,0,17,0,0,2,2,37,33,19,0,5,11,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,10,15,0,1,0,0,1,5,9,5,0,2,13,7,24,3,35,18,5,28,0,1,6,0,5,14,0,7,10,138,34,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657614218699764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099276005212588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296266342428412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917884011048338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062596774508356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469477110010582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12519942924631294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477993932699017,0.1319977400994407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292510368432678,0.0,0.0,0.13209802388531594,0.376044117962611,0.0,0.0,0.12690283552158732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864545168821336,0.16994330343177927,0.1566322979877933,0.0,0.1011482741909426,0.11352550527573865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378955148371233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126474810049614,0.11491426966511832,0.0,0.0,0.105653091434713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068389972899314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584291957690328,0.2026871777917931,0.3247227712985554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804249442380745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837349823187414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388961473286332,0.0,0.3260079806531266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612409178200053
mentalhealth,cosmo_rebel97,2019/03/19,"Does this sound like bipolar disorder? I often feel like I'm either really happy or really depressed. When I'm happy I have lots of energy and I feel like I dont need as much sleep, it also feels like my mind is racing and 100km per minute thinking about all sorts of ideas and daydreams. When I'm depressed and down I dont have much energy or motivation, I'm quick to lash out and take frustration out on others, and I tend to wake up really late and go to bed late. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but I cant tell whether this is just depressive episodes or whether it is BPD. Also, if someone could inform me of the difference between depression and BP that would be helpful because they sound alike.",4.691748251748251,5.8140307972028005,5.6653216783216775,79.91490559440561,69.6993006993007,9.636083916083916,28.985314685314684,9.888512548439397,2.7767991608391602,576,21,111,14,10,190,90,143,0.13699999999999998,0.726,0.136,-0.4854,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,8,12,1,0,1,0,12,4,2,1,1,36,24,21,0,4,9,0,3,4,0,1,2,2,1,0,6,12,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,1,5,10,6,15,20,5,11,0,5,0,0,4,5,0,7,9,72,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328388866251145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924482384561777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366769898917469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220357729550024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648713715364376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5204301778600174,0.12265797613403027,0.0,0.12626023290408614,0.13850205190500914,0.0,0.10575472671124493,0.0,0.2832654499814468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833128406744142,0.2590010836503464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868059133618595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572894667208615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100173493260601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642245984765686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726431708993127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361605289868697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274048048132182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202183110958276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17767408014016364,0.08960711460567053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322545910995664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093507775454565,0.0,0.10239395124524887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086250809860584,0.0,0.1056263063315918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743439248851235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584681189906382,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hatchconsonline,2019/03/19,"Trying to get the existential horror over with I have 8 days until I start working 40 hours a week. Perhaps I'm a brat but the entire concept of selling my self determination to survive is an existential horror. Between working, sleeping and the necessary tasks of life ( eating, exercising, commuting) I get like 2 hours a day to do the "" work"" of being myself. I want to work, but having a job is philosophically difficult. I am not there for 9 hours a day because I want to be. Even though the work is satisfying and rewarding, I am still doing it because I must not because I choose to.

I am trying to lean into the existential crisis to get it over with so I can have some peace and find some happiness in the few hours wherein I do actually own myself. I am actively trying to make myself more miserable hoping that I will bounce back. I dont know if that's good or not but I sure hope it works because if it doesnt, I dont know what I'm going to do. ",4.9684375,5.318158968749998,6.8135416666666675,74.71062500000002,68.6875,9.525,30.583333333333336,9.516144504307137,2.716814583333333,750,28,146,15,12,263,105,192,0.128,0.6859999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.9057,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,8,6,9,0,1,13,0,22,4,1,1,2,28,36,12,0,7,9,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,7,6,1,0,4,1,1,1,6,2,0,0,0,0,21,7,22,32,5,17,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,7,13,108,28,7,0.0,0.0,0.1113199619467566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877160169605013,0.0,0.278154289458486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22070526195873988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26738822119076194,0.0,0.0,0.11672638331323845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534493198706055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426175043698484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17879718080837198,0.0,0.06483099562235789,0.0956800251543819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143410508079415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22660283601153036,0.4493604265329401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320103967882345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538439195782333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057397969435312,0.05573089108237909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614541303382594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900426727867923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415658112372128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074230455335125,0.0,0.0910998019599966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751358169856044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207732044898742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323466774529313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456783520237184,0.0,0.09150344086795813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4982842490128844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ReadingRaeBo,2019/03/19,"To med or not to med So I’ve felt depressed/anxious pretty much as long as I can remember but it’s been getting worse as of late. All of this ironic cuz my life is pretty good: got a nice car, stressful yet rewarding job, got out of a toxic living situation and have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. My problem is that I feel like I need help but also feel that I’m not bad off enough to need it. I wanna try to “fix” me and try medication but I don’t wanna have to go to a therapist. Also I can’t afford to go a therapist. Any advice?",1.314237288135594,2.7197411016949182,3.9120000000000026,88.03257627118643,78.66101694915254,6.753898305084746,21.969491525423727,7.554174236665415,0.7682142372881358,422,12,95,6,10,149,76,118,0.104,0.675,0.221,0.9471,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,1,4,0,9,2,0,1,1,22,20,13,0,5,6,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,5,3,10,4,19,15,3,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,5,63,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451464162784646,0.0,0.0,0.14873607342725587,0.0,0.0,0.2375663352489812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100870792356337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402029285672254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534760789641837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020724201570956,0.1061132387427691,0.14261663140382588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760326438243967,0.0,0.1688314168281244,0.12458388193713014,0.2375935803883277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955969661987116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739779739555225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755364192383956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049144704680953,0.0725665648985273,0.0,0.1311588853411759,0.1314485593978142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329977194175908,0.1496331109410959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919011506782468,0.22027323618549968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022264333860393,0.0,0.14212767381362956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826089072760975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669592566590904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170146028084894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449205330300276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20169065929608868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136957662572176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565149437161104
mentalhealth,LookSWtco,2019/03/19,"Do I have attachment issues? And is this related to mental health? Can anyone tell me more about this? All my life (17) I have isolated myself, I’m in theory a very normal person, have strong morals, dreams, etc etc. 

But I went 17 years without having any real friends, not one, I always isolated myself and never felt I had that natural born instinct to connect with others, that scared me, until I entered 11th grade in my five consecutive different school and I met these two girls (I’m a male) these two girls were the first people I ever connected with, I’m not particularly happy with hanging out with only girls but these two are just more mature than most people, however I’m also enjoying hanging out with the boys, playing games with them , watcing movies etc. Something I never did.


The problem lies here tho, I am extremely private, and can feel very lonely at times but I “deny” it and never look for anyone, so when I met these girls, specially one of them, I feel like I’m in love with this feeling that I never even felt, and at the same time I feel a little sad because know I realize how deprive I was of company. I always caring for this girl and honestly even tho she is pretty I don’t even like her, I mean she has a boyfriend, but it’s pretty surreal how I can be SO isolated and be very private yet be so obsessed when I have someone I care about.

",4.162723880597014,5.576413257462686,5.35465671641791,80.53922388059705,71.27611940298506,8.195820895522388,27.20597014925373,8.697196308434329,2.0754426865671642,1075,37,201,19,20,357,148,268,0.107,0.6940000000000001,0.2,0.9826,2,2,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,2,19,18,0,2,8,0,22,3,0,2,6,47,42,23,0,2,8,0,6,2,1,0,2,0,0,8,14,17,0,0,9,3,0,4,8,6,0,7,9,7,34,12,25,30,8,26,1,3,1,1,19,8,0,1,16,153,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376723867981332,0.17431808059241846,0.0,0.0,0.07123248785653831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464850004552293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385363795110492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21359590149533572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943975867448257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504663856603535,0.20755594391523893,0.0947509033179573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118557055683736,0.07483226095597795,0.2011497359673393,0.0,0.0,0.0890989153671214,0.0,0.0,0.08092833568714049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150659435583114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134262574834088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933009037106853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05756696820588991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398687595577458,0.10234953122728137,0.10498539143498488,0.0,0.0,0.08796225453641154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453949925730264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410168982571685,0.0,0.0,0.10556172622589496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231536213298885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263116858450116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419604213756706,0.07966586031614617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452386701469196,0.09146224184893456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313351282928145,0.0,0.10023004953858687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922658456349915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487139817484747,0.1060109490610328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875295931474647,0.08064041761573833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155469785476908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221592411653052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069718293221089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592851417462325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710279425598674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097369679535914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745452002456585
mentalhealth,stopkony2017,2019/03/19,"should i be seeking a new psychiatrist? Not sure if this is the right place to ask, but i just found this sub and i really hope i can get some advice on this, please! After years of undiagnosed OCD, anxiety, and depression, i finally got a psych evaluation and a regular psychiatrist. he seems to have good intentions and wants to try to help me but nothing so far has been working. he upped my zoloft to 100mg three weeks ago from 50mg and i STILL feel no difference in my anxiety and depression. if anything, my mental health has continued its slow decline since starting zoloft a few months ago. my anxiety is so bad that i can’t leave the house most of the time because stepping outside the front door makes my heart pound and i start sweating. every second of my life i spend living in fear of absolutely nothing, always feeling like someone could be behind me at any second or maybe a plane is going to fall on me or something. my psychologist also prescribed me hydroxyzine for anxiety but no matter how many mg i take (i’ve tried taking 200mg at once even and still feel no difference, and i weigh 87 pounds). after searching online i discovered that hydroxyzine only helps if your anxiety is just from your body being hyper and not anxiety in your actual brain. small dosages of xanax work very well for me and when i have some i’ll take a half of a bar twice a day a few hours apart, while skipping days so i don’t get super dependent on them. i brought this up to my psychologist and he told me “xanax is just a bandaid and i don’t prescribe that.” this doesn’t make sense to me. is xanax not good for ANYONE? is there absolutely nobody that it could help? should i be looking for a new psych? i’m going more and more crazy every day it’s hard to keep living my life like this. i’m not even living at this point.",4.142083333333336,5.5812185972222235,4.950000000000003,83.32166666666669,71.3611111111111,8.444444444444445,26.66666666666667,8.94667605116694,1.972666666666668,1445,48,288,28,27,468,192,360,0.149,0.757,0.094,-0.9453,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,1,3,15,12,0,1,15,0,25,15,4,5,1,51,51,29,0,9,15,0,4,2,0,2,9,0,1,0,14,14,2,1,5,1,1,6,11,4,1,5,5,5,37,8,35,38,7,46,0,2,1,0,12,17,0,11,25,183,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.08636318630573812,0.0,0.0,0.08648112825895439,0.15689973428880946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077337916928357,0.0736390491573051,0.0,0.0,0.060183001752176286,0.0,0.40621332356671097,0.0,0.0,0.061881223752985985,0.0,0.07282791932675499,0.0,0.08273550795407697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389376278280622,0.05394874895333932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830349513180024,0.0,0.09879521446596366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132001979030906,0.0,0.0,0.17122544172550125,0.0,0.15244975694021667,0.0,0.0,0.1849272259401952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690676648818715,0.0,0.14913005207087024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995870497885317,0.13424470367834754,0.06322438297119723,0.0,0.09694737092738114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703562877129787,0.0,0.0,0.09247514382299024,0.0,0.10059312373818716,0.14845912078370685,0.07078149576785579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927857330231912,0.0,0.0,0.09407130990567024,0.0,0.10487286853277444,0.1779589557957926,0.0,0.0,0.0879004205608364,0.0871546251822559,0.10211706169745244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786628231413031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370867016011676,0.0,0.0,0.12502026587228682,0.08647321190846917,0.0,0.23444123547075105,0.0,0.0743176699029798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814880956055322,0.08972506011419236,0.08891009639438185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918713561164293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063981687753193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094760910183548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983618047162724,0.0,0.0,0.09424955992683688,0.0,0.06730820100866622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924636129700976,0.09714637061273304,0.08366105979574412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056695335044704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557847494953747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056703193892073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320807434050346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498572163740505,0.06813158631267349,0.0,0.0,0.1252814422310156,0.0,0.1413523510338617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341015685103281,0.0,0.1996228485188376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516050333655535,0.0,0.0,0.08456549615537882,0.0,0.12017131543747285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302172837883678,0.05219956429692667,0.0,0.07098932278718592,0.0,0.07957208473544533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12885803731319115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056991067123847924
mentalhealth,Apharia,2019/03/19,"Why don't I feel happy doing anything? No matter what it is, the day just seems to drag on. From the moment I wake up every task seems meaningless. Even things I used to like, like games and shows. I can't focus either. I try to watch a show and NOTHING can hold my attention. Does anybody else feel this way?",1.0128571428571431,3.311152825396828,2.3422222222222224,94.30000000000004,84.23809523809524,4.8698412698412685,16.936507936507937,6.18269132825596,-0.3736920634920637,240,5,51,2,7,77,51,63,0.161,0.745,0.095,-0.6437,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,5,1,1,1,0,12,10,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,5,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,6,3,6,10,1,5,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,4,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188284088668838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149554418459445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23270722138312197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221409280606244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563677455621066,0.0,0.22404794967769495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689129404977793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830753704996838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598288616023589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25515613712570884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4841647425685693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766645493441704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805413225567864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296683528354484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21107386390433885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399502399831625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slave-to-the-siren,2019/03/19,"I’m happy, but I don’t want to live How is it possible to feel so happy with things in your life and simultaneously not want to be living? I find myself genuinely happy about a few things, my boyfriend and dog, friends, other smaller things. At the same time I find myself wishing I didn’t wake up in the morning often, or if just driving my car off a bridge. I’m afraid of what happens when I tell somebody I feel this way and I have to put everything on hold to get help, I’m even anxious of inconveniencing my job... ",3.2796226415094334,4.5426027641509465,4.7171226415094365,84.84285377358493,73.24528301886792,7.186792452830187,26.45754716981132,7.6454224807358475,1.3131358490566032,407,14,86,5,8,136,74,106,0.023,0.748,0.229,0.9716,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,4,0,5,2,1,1,0,20,15,9,0,4,5,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,4,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,2,13,4,15,13,2,12,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,3,2,59,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236736051677072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246800009293144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303622986233958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219685736836055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112647459778663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315575149603871,0.0,0.08896400778588665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505775945223638,0.5437970643011775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413475574430824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689761236137861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027344264254745,0.0,0.0,0.30071982640258504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19196454494774498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117792336246276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883178345945405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393783893309704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929134252360418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20087051514818666,0.13515993677970412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19581301498613685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,timrstl,2019/03/19,"At the end of my rope I work an unfullfilling job where I do nothing but make photocopies all day. 

I'm bright and creative, I have my Masters in English, but I can't find a better job. 

Anxiety and depression (and most likely undiagnozed autism) have not helped the issue.

And to add to this I have a special needs kid and a wife with severe mental health issues.

I also don't have any friends, so I don't even have that kind of outlet to blow of some steam. ",6.051612903225808,5.305971365591397,6.63604301075269,80.61406451612906,66.52688172043011,9.590537634408603,30.42795698924732,8.841846274778883,2.172231827956989,359,11,75,5,5,118,64,93,0.171,0.716,0.113,-0.6898,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,6,0,9,1,0,1,1,16,12,9,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,9,6,9,12,3,5,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,2,3,50,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16966247847754942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442745472852104,0.0,0.1623001003952877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876362917712244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368241993555019,0.0,0.18273116183918806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790879746042352,0.0,0.0,0.14012819499362286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390834274187574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391255373984553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255137705668947,0.0,0.0,0.1422048697876075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4428751477754044,0.4210676668822052,0.0,0.0,0.2209296521050976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364956164670963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161694760447005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21380511505591607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731228565838126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20357108599445406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396778726627039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445337101974255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crawdaddy0938,2019/03/19,"Please help I'm 28 years old I have lost a business a house and a father and my physical health over the last 3 years now my mental health is suffering from depression anxiety and bipolar but more then that now I can't drive because in scare I can't stay focused I can't even complete thoughts in my own head without losing track this is my second attempt at this post 
Guy I don't know how to ask for help I feel useless I feel like a burdan to others I feel like I'm a peace of shit for not providing for my family I feel like there is no help for me and I can see myself going down hill fast I haven't even left my house in 3 weeks I constantly think if only I had died in the hospital my wife could have moved on and my kids could have a father that wasn't useless to them I don't know how to put this to world's when I'm in front of my Dr because I'm ashamed of myself for being so fucking weak who do I turn to for help how do I ask for the help and how can I explain my issues Wellbutrin isn't cutting it for me I'm not seeking pitty but guidance and direction please help ",3.481645569620256,3.5635135358649848,4.761873417721521,89.06382278481013,71.86919831223628,7.838987341772152,26.770464135021097,7.554174236665415,1.1925405907172992,856,26,198,9,15,285,120,237,0.168,0.664,0.16699999999999998,-0.3187,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,1,3,11,15,3,2,9,0,22,8,2,4,0,28,43,17,1,3,6,3,4,3,0,0,5,0,0,2,8,7,0,0,9,0,0,5,12,12,0,1,4,5,32,3,28,36,2,29,0,6,1,1,16,11,2,1,14,127,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482187688709353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207313172544505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518121272104533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625417295953053,0.11982044882891085,0.0,0.1770551868917213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549963355049901,0.0,0.11507455102536117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464686278715921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452653944725224,0.0,0.22425434258370155,0.2376352259153885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250554111190482,0.0,0.0,0.06301490174539351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978731280496656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379350099966183,0.2357176765360126,0.0,0.0,0.4459178002413544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558781900894658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572852133013653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187203148401662,0.09038091251178726,0.0,0.0,0.12046999629303205,0.0,0.0,0.1625091482257705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404486688438868,0.12103716313269752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173961755374448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784647581931534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163485093821998,0.0,0.0,0.08432822275724143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24342296059980284,0.0,0.0,0.1061911134422071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146368538647217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100888876435733,0.0,0.08835594221495545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138153584677297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818190631360664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104657283005883,0.0,0.08802527645560658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060415025638024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889401786955018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688307842519396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280445269883107
mentalhealth,goodolchris,2019/03/19,"Is my bipolar causing my foggy brain or is it the medication? I’m on lithium and vraylar. Feeling like my memory, problem solving, focus, creativity etc have been affected. Just feel far away but my doctor says I’m stable. Any other ways to improve this?",2.729645390070921,5.692945404255319,5.039468085106382,72.88416666666669,84.31914893617022,6.5375886524822695,31.23758865248227,7.793537801064563,3.0298397163120567,202,11,30,4,6,70,41,47,0.059,0.69,0.252,0.8541,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,4,1,2,0,9,8,3,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,4,1,3,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,20,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059510089541416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845411692244223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380850656617547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31111433742217104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099837570001094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33776210782093724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062640210066255,0.2163588568918508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147959097432445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30509340040846794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897902410985469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24084154379427405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24039129604208045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Felicia-Fletcher,2019/03/19,"What’s wrong with me? Sometimes I’m laying down or sitting down and I want to do something a chore, homework or something I enjoy, most of the time it’s eating (I’m not anorexic) but I cant physically make my self move I feel like there is an orange weight pressing me down and I can’t will my self to move if someone physically forces me to get up I usually just plummet to the floor and have to sit there for a while. I feel heavy and sad and I’m not sure what this means

I’m a teen with anxiety and ocd, I used to have depression and I’m still working to get over it So is this a form of any of this? ",0.4005725853094262,2.1740458646616574,2.506766917293234,95.3124233661076,82.8345864661654,5.596067090803933,21.508964719491033,6.67199483983844,0.2229530364372474,472,15,114,5,13,159,76,133,0.127,0.821,0.051,-0.8911,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,7,0,8,2,0,2,1,24,21,13,0,2,7,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,7,9,2,0,3,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,0,4,13,3,18,20,2,14,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,4,5,74,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932084576504405,0.0,0.14547809468691866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16379152692787793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19458946683093314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19230943526379635,0.13585614610046615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870999224462474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290653984053504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693869974632296,0.0,0.0,0.20714883721596733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.404237241545186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967736558447403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611288347228497,0.2928014259425146,0.1880811376618612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186850983147726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923120674153625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088856265507513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642442016735752,0.2094433223252506,0.0,0.11216608688351523,0.0,0.0,0.2315735439822703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138444659486953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791899098764316,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PlaguedEarth,2019/03/19,What is wrong? Anyone have any idea why I would all of the sudden I don't like looking at myself in the mirror anymore?,2.529600000000002,3.9404533599999993,3.916999999999998,89.24350000000004,75.4,5.0,20.5,3.1291,-0.2325999999999997,94,2,19,0,2,31,23,25,0.218,0.782,0.0,-0.6778,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,3,4,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633623288775564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840757237646393,0.27079379105230866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371897365515348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920447477441887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32521599210020263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494581691043199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27511118858179345,0.4234277108260196,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Oldendorff11,2019/03/19,"Is it normal to have good mood in the morning and bad at night? I believe it is normal, but some of acquaintances state that your mood is supposed to be stable during the day. I doubt it, so I would like to know your opinion.

I've noticed that, in most cases, I tend to feel bad at night. However, not always, but often, I feel really happy in the morning for no reason. The world is just so bright, everything is so sweet and beautiful so I can't get enough of it. ",3.154556390977444,4.2387280947368415,4.608120300751882,86.19684210526316,73.3157894736842,7.533834586466164,24.09774436090225,7.957251820313856,1.196248120300753,359,10,75,5,7,120,59,95,0.11,0.638,0.252,0.9639,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,6,10,0,1,4,0,9,0,0,1,0,18,14,8,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,4,8,5,12,12,3,10,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,5,4,54,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18009903887860115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36144398409811773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24385866395003156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395887002852371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22364487362023253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194526226105712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188815344004623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130832398928985,0.0,0.0,0.1815432523360833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304090362154283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895215470249605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574377678473848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062367218063659,0.4241390166353232,0.0,0.2464233279933395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865979351036395,0.22254084139983207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375585673151587,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrNastyCollector,2019/03/19,"A new hysterical comedy donates 20% of profits to men in crisis. In honour of THE PRODIGY'S Keith Flint and the many other high profile men who have commited suicide of late, we are donating 20% of profit to a new project to help men in crisis. Also, the author is donating Keith Flint's DECONSTRUCTED PORTRAIT OF FAME which is a one of a kind art piece composed of the actual guyliner Keith wore on stage for one of his last shows.

https://thenastycollectorsnastycollection.com

It's time we made a real diffence to men suffering in silence. ",9.468877551020407,9.028973438775513,9.754,60.04100000000001,59.51020408163265,12.329795918367347,37.967346938775506,11.602472056035307,4.6873240816326565,439,18,68,11,5,147,63,98,0.145,0.669,0.18600000000000005,0.5904,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,9,0,4,0,0,1,1,6,6,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,4,18,4,1,12,0,1,0,0,9,6,0,0,5,43,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.24022588208863174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686162781380295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650021996651587,0.2600915495900311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563476104794841,0.0,0.20066096528262511,0.2776898726891445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329314946958605,0.0,0.2495771940961292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47550399590459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33362159332921426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801947382504168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692694337595835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435433914696787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SalutexTM,2019/03/19,"I give myself performance anxiety!? Every time i'm doing something rather it be at work or at home, I start feeling like there's someone somehow watching me and judging me cruelly and I begin to lose focus on whatever i'm doing, start stressing (body goes into fight or flight mode) and begin performing poorly. 

​

At first I figured I was simply telling myself this to perform better by thinking about what I can improve, but it's not that. It like I begin envisioning a crowd of people and that group of people  is critiquing everything I do harshly so I'm never comfortable.

​

This can't be normal, yet I have no clue what this could mean. I have different issues i'm managing yet this is one that is such a burden",3.908240177089098,6.389681251798563,5.049064748201441,77.90748754842281,74.61151079136691,7.154620918649695,29.397343663530712,8.139509932561175,2.4959912562257887,590,26,95,10,13,194,91,139,0.13699999999999998,0.789,0.07400000000000001,-0.8605,1,0,1,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,0,7,8,8,1,1,2,0,14,1,1,0,1,18,27,8,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,12,5,0,0,4,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,1,2,14,4,11,23,0,15,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,3,12,72,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33900068845075304,0.3801782194544104,0.0,0.0,0.11967452643198713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835656481101855,0.0,0.1737671840481911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249028931050324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634442562921457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180563504161882,0.0,0.14059625167048756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790996769758601,0.11175923071056074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306595459453888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006943970285969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691991788815826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328047071268692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285526225482454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501393797815046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040667908188395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065451337360375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327587729411565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600633524640678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21690861451578192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254928194855498,0.12043349915907252,0.0,0.0,0.2214550296588324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17919902768513873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673357545893353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023905706980066,0.0,0.0,0.09122016789558028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388861736741338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3801782194544104,0.0
mentalhealth,tubsgoat,2019/03/19,"For those that have been on wellbutrin, what side effects have you experienced? So I've been hospitalized in the past because of ""bipolar disorder with psychotic features."" I've been to several doctors/hospitals/long term treatment. The past few years have been... horrible. 

But I have been having some success with my current meds. Yesterday my doctor suggested adding wellbutrin because I'm still experiencing some slight symptoms. 

My issue is, and my doctor is fully aware of this, when my meds change I end up in the hospital. So my initial reaction is ""please God don't change my meds""

What benefits/reactions have people experienced with wellbutrin? ",7.268288288288289,9.928163216216221,6.8668468468468475,67.79774774774775,65.48648648648647,10.33873873873874,38.45945945945946,10.504223727775694,4.951637837837838,531,29,76,15,9,166,72,111,0.056,0.8690000000000001,0.076,0.3094,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,3,0,15,4,0,1,0,8,16,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,10,1,11,11,4,14,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,9,53,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091864413547974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630165472750524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19664487798515184,0.35123760955502803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196843688905026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908433467201124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518423856510146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.571758160800328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275839382161368,0.11895156458588135,0.0,0.0,0.1883426766447197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19383590421366664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702354486237528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833671190003586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049151974739352
mentalhealth,dontknowthr0waway,2019/03/19,"I'm gaining a better understanding of my mental health issues, but seem to be using them as an ""excuse"" more and more. Can anyone relate? I wasn't really sure how to phrase the title of this post, so I'll try and be more specific here. 

I've been in the mental health system on and off since I was 11, so about 20 years, but my problems predate that. After all this time and many blips, steps back, crises and breakdowns I've kind of decided this is it. I need to get better. 

I've got a care coordinator (someone who checks in on me a few times a week to make sure I'm not planning on killing myself, basically) and have been referred to more intensive therapy. In the past reading anything about my condition upsets me a lot, so I've avoided it. I'm trying not to bury my head in the sand and confront these things so I can move forward. 

I struggle with self harm, self medicating (weed) and some of my coping strategies are less than healthy. My life's a bit of a fucking mess to be quite frank. I'm working really hard to get myself together. I'm so tired of this and I don't want any more of it. 

My problem is that often I'll be reading something like 'a person who has endured [X] or been diagnosed with [Y] will often turn to self harm/have substance abuse issues/struggle to hold down a steady job' or whatever. In these instances I find myself thinking 'yes! See! It's not me, fuck it, fuck it all, I'm going to self harm and roll a fat joint and not ever go back to college!'

Wtf is going on here? There's so much I do on a daily basis which is profoundly difficult but which I hope will help get me to a better place. Often when the onus of personal responsibility and guilt is removed (for instance, recognising that patterns woven through several generations have contributed to my problems, not some sort of defect in my being) I feel much better, much more positive and much stronger. Why is this so different? 

I don't know. I'm rambling. But if anyone had any insight I'd love to hear it. ",3.4848129032258086,4.955197720000001,4.841258064516129,83.33522580645163,73.05,7.561290322580645,27.153225806451612,8.155646560271837,1.7492193548387092,1568,57,311,24,31,522,207,400,0.158,0.708,0.134,-0.8789,2,1,1,0,1,1,53.0,0,0,1,8,20,28,5,4,18,1,28,12,2,3,5,59,60,30,1,7,12,0,3,1,0,2,7,1,0,6,22,15,1,2,9,2,1,7,8,17,0,0,7,5,28,11,46,46,18,33,0,0,1,4,13,15,3,12,12,202,50,5,0.0,0.10117320727822376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161362796604106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941337085675267,0.0,0.07026870843736198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131930479896115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020821241948773,0.09322378293896028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870608134603532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666906999098564,0.0,0.08921439361338361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724015920918571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04317575836866525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804492873104908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368250847768533,0.1338382788991801,0.0,0.14558734372970114,0.0,0.06829419726460066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649268308375425,0.0,0.08763479264624853,0.1815311904882014,0.09624075531819593,0.0,0.057235128570799626,0.0,0.0,0.08481155415409179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912499291197312,0.08473641615439895,0.0,0.09447140242502404,0.08892056272210196,0.046928120299728766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031349441637709,0.04171724917730932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259553902970953,0.0770678243529402,0.0,0.056998499531359874,0.08657207492639052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602145882245492,0.1721061067401839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075607465972536,0.2510859509115864,0.06331561576527986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151443347923497,0.0,0.14911853870847205,0.08921439361338361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178003247663265,0.0,0.0,0.2451201427998773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082279413488346,0.17082624986078404,0.0,0.1094060630824936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804478820890263,0.07773586461503958,0.3563216431540214,0.09646641411025056,0.0,0.07063550460659261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235068445472201,0.0657374070032152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853637223192298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095816128380416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765092645802184,0.0,0.056729333149038476,0.054714475110554016,0.0,0.0,0.09958321141085356,0.09814326336833497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594843303326167,0.09287981833010213,0.0,0.08889401932407938,0.0,0.07374955841542748,0.0,0.0,0.05036524451125638,0.0,0.06849472113459057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770512089365355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06216494949653801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054988371441618014
mentalhealth,Rosie_Posie_22,2019/03/19,"I haven’t been able to leave my bed all day. Every time I even have to go use the bathroom I burst out in tears. My SO came home from work and I was still in bed. I got up to give him a hug and just started weeping. I crawled back into bed as soon as I could without having him ask about it (I work a weird schedule so me sleeping late is not out of character, but today I’m actually adequately rested and just can’t exist, so externally it doesn’t seem different but internally it’s hell). 

I skipped the class I was supposed to go to. I feel hungry but I haven’t eaten and probably won’t eat today. I know that one bad day probably isn’t the end of the world but it just feels really awful because I haven’t been this low in a very long time. 

Not really looking for any advice I guess. I just wanted to vent. Thank you for listening. ",1.125712861415753,3.016592000000003,3.4039215686274527,89.20265204386844,80.9774011299435,6.65058158856763,21.71119973413095,7.724431198458867,0.8551125955466938,652,20,145,11,17,224,107,177,0.11,0.858,0.032,-0.8957,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,12,7,1,0,7,1,15,4,1,1,1,28,34,13,0,2,11,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,6,8,2,0,4,0,0,3,10,5,0,1,7,4,22,2,22,25,2,26,1,2,1,1,6,9,1,2,14,96,28,3,0.1504050032540562,0.0,0.14677358699340404,0.0,0.0,0.14697402845777147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228055982008546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060837485953626,0.0,0.0,0.11565216355557825,0.12558189529595398,0.09168549397490401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202325537258806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008615653186225,0.0,0.0,0.1939975688067924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15714121632737124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390186697912533,0.0,0.0,0.13321419031298085,0.0,0.0,0.09934108614593487,0.0,0.12672270215614104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209857761989926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428218417368574,0.17095725886788055,0.0,0.12029262086079827,0.0,0.16568806789434434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086848153819993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265865635778202,0.0,0.16966339485139192,0.1592571816779792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310369491040508,0.12630232226537655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191832271702743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243240643285944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927065928495314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692306614562533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051362394864945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645743543352428,0.0,0.12011362988475235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138472719446858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754047338448729,0.0,0.2851327133788385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990163182892764,0.0,0.12409987937079875,0.08871276777850551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449850559218527,0.0,0.21899326736779226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cozz111,2019/03/19,"I Don’t Understand Myself. Do I Need A Counseling? Hi all thanks for reading.

First time posting and on a mobile phone. Sorry is this is difficult to read, or if I am not following the forum rule correctly.

I feel like I lack the social skill that everyone was born with. I am not sure if I have some sort of condition that can be diagnosed. However, I am scared to seek any help because I think they will laugh at me and say I am perfectly normal, but i don’t think other people feel the way I feel.

I was always bit shy growing up, but when I was 13 years old my family immigrated to a new country where I could not spoke it’s language (which was English). I became very very self-conscious and became a pro  at trying to read people’s expression and mood. I was always scared that people find a conversation with me boring and it made my interaction with people into a stressful ordeal where I consistently check to see if I am make the other person/people bored or not. At some point I made somewhat of a decision that social interactions are not worth the stress and people will think that I am boring and not worth talking to anyway. That is when I because somewhat more shy.

Now I am a 29 years old who is very very shy. I am so shy that people I feel absolutely comfortable being around are very limited: my fiance/boyfriend of 5 years, my mother and my old roommate I lived together for 2 years. I even feel uncomfortable with my own brother. We were very close growing up but since I move away from home when I was 18 only saw him a week or two in every year or so, I feel awkward talking to him. The thing is, that people don’t understand that my aloofness, my quietness that sometimes interpreted as rudeness, me not participating in a conversation is due to me being scared for other person to think I am boring if I talk to them. I can be social if I pretend. I do very well in job interviews and social situation where being social is requested and expected of me. I can act enthusiastic and having a good time despite wishing it to be over the whole time and being exhausted afterward thinking back everything I said and wonder if I made any wrong remarks. Because I can pretend to be social, I think some people assume that I am not talking to them or call them or dicline their invitations because I don’t like them, it’s just stressful that is all... I find most people nice and wish to be perceived as a nice person too. My fiancé understand this, he understand I am absolutely uncomfortable in most social situation because he is somewhat introverted too. I am not scared he finds me boring because despite not understanding most topics I find interesting, he cares to listen and ask questions. As he knows my shyness he is okay when I make him order my food for me when we go to restaurants and make him pay for the bill even when I am paying for the meal since I don’t want to chichat or talk to a server while making a payment. I never really go out with people since I lost most of my friends growing up since I moved from city to city and never really made friends other then aquentances and if I did, never kept in contact.

Despite this shyness and anti social tendencies, I am pretty happy with my life, my mother and fiancé loves me the way I am, and my brother loves me even though he doesn’t quite understands me. I don’t have any close friend living in my current city, but don’t really need one desperately since I can fill my social need with phone call with my family and daily interaction with my fiancé. I have a job I love and excited about the future career growth. As I said I am happy, but sometime I wonder is I am missing out and if there is something wrong with me that can be fixed. 

Sorry for the long rambling. I wondered about this for so wrong it just came pouring out when I started writing.
Do you think I have a condition of some sort that can he helped by professional? If you think that, should I seek a therapist, psychologist or something else? ",6.588768234333062,6.4550205827984595,7.295517271560277,74.29107378340531,65.25160462130937,10.059995332010736,32.338691796008874,9.688023934748609,2.9640960205391527,3170,114,586,58,44,1055,295,779,0.138,0.727,0.135,0.897,4,0,2,0,0,0,64.0,2,2,6,6,29,45,1,8,29,1,76,8,0,8,8,154,134,63,0,20,34,4,6,2,3,3,3,6,1,2,31,44,2,2,33,5,6,12,21,21,1,3,19,14,112,23,72,101,18,77,0,2,2,3,73,26,0,35,37,427,143,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083956892260675,0.0,0.0,0.0868426048960545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037894329266249055,0.03979510725036502,0.0,0.03999380962993978,0.03273197814161958,0.0,0.15569346006646684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04647296648590354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693288000094189,0.04868617466027692,0.04340066599558247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033986890775485515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04320537804921249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03555989940600768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434680753890626,0.0,0.035865171817805686,0.040675316709864934,0.03825715586066762,0.0,0.08025818710424568,0.0,0.12914122395038874,0.030410414626008974,0.0,0.0,0.15562463753214545,0.03620811297731336,0.0514731016121493,0.0,0.09866323207927262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04838447538186818,0.035703815568291185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062833929045228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05706454142992145,0.0,0.042698931763559836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448386246366753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023394126404028416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03006686616113075,0.04159291249038012,0.0,0.07517621990181929,0.03767112605967363,0.0,0.0,0.04646773602494169,0.0,0.11525718991603613,0.16111456642856115,0.1136572353088086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048557960397688,0.0,0.09469035894265806,0.09849263693555248,0.04111220566976522,0.0,0.0,0.04170736458226955,0.0,0.0,0.13400310320244913,0.0,0.028845014298423538,0.032374697928436516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246223577051804,0.1115055723982459,0.0,0.0,0.04024029016778133,0.0,0.0407681450879453,0.04330671299407319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768563074387995,0.045276050112128506,0.12773783150203508,0.0,0.08180998683002083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098337103468924,0.03385158948964588,0.17047100596265635,0.0,0.03392099164269341,0.0,0.04440745499284606,0.0,0.0,0.17606244537654214,0.09569588640982224,0.0,0.3905322148720062,0.0,0.06554147914231152,0.08420120169460693,0.09530223940469547,0.030129678014613543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628366796643788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04011960788950534,0.0,0.0,0.1710717561170412,0.0,0.03919067215692016,0.0,0.049424447631337284,0.02828012675616406,0.21820560272877848,0.04182260583901671,0.0,0.07446480555533964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02890071327601018,0.0,0.04158251396271203,0.26588722216197663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458600072702818,0.025107566400287724,0.06757660943621564,0.034145287601484234,0.0,0.03827352637926408,0.0,0.0,0.0475253813205531,0.09790164120758166,0.0,0.13848875230969646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396234820295838,0.0,0.13706120168894909
mentalhealth,pandadool,2019/03/19,"Mental health discord community  If anyone suffers from anxiety, depression, bipolar or other mental health issues then feel free to join our discord: [https://discord.gg/wPc7mn4](https://discord.gg/wPc7mn4) . Its a place for people to connect, talk about issues, give tips, advice or support, or to just have fun. ",13.521060606060608,16.659189590909094,10.243636363636364,47.74378787878789,50.81818181818182,9.503030303030306,37.39393939393939,9.725611199111238,4.351812121212121,258,10,26,4,3,75,36,44,0.234,0.5720000000000001,0.194,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,4,5,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,4,6,4,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,4,1,17,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21639470449690065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940576879908434,0.0,0.0,0.1548403610997928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907313235144267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196987353419946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21243141346841965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4707739993335743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4622646856543707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4463314539055672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15352294133402455,0.0,0.2313641901787785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512945708594804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799010086870892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Scootlemynootle,2019/03/19,"I'm wondering if I was misdiagnosed with Asperger's when I have BPD. Thoughts? So from an early age I had a super abusive childhood. Literally my FIRST memory is of my biological dad beating my mother after they'd ordered Chinese food, and I came downstairs to see what all the racket was about, there was rice all over the floor, TV was smashed and my mom was trying to call the police but my dad picked up the phone out her hand and smashed it on the floor. There are other snippets as well and I do not remember much of my childhood at all except for memories of video games that comforted me. I still play those games a lot to relive that comfort. As a child I learned to speak unusually early and I enjoyed being creative and making crafts and artwork to show off to people.

When I was around 6 or 7 I became aware of the abuse, and that's when it started to emotionally effect me. My dad attacked me and my mother physically and emotionally. I was told by my dad he did this because I was a ''bad kid''.

I started to get angry often and I went into this state where I became mentally unbalanced and didn't want to talk to people. I started to become jealous and hate other people because they had good families and I shut down. I called this my ''zombie'' phase as I was emotionally 'dead'. When I was 12 I was diagnosed with Asperger's but now that I'm 25 I am questioning the diagnosis.

I never get along with people with Asperger's, they always seem to resent me and consider me to be highly unpredictable and too emotional.

I have high empathy for other people, but my emotional responses are exaggerated like how a 10 year old would respond. Like I'll cry for characters in videogames even though I know they aren't real, there's still this little part of me that seeks comfort in them.

I don't have problems making friends or talking with people/eye contact. I'm an extrovert and get depressed if I don't talk to people all the time. I don't really have any special interests but I do lots of things at once.

I really dislike children because I see them as potential alternate reality versions of me, being a happy child with nice memories to look back on with a nice family.

I've self harmed and I have outbursts of impulsiveness that I later regret.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm surviving and not living and like I'm a child in an adult's body. People even say my voice sounds similar to a child's.

I do not get angry often but when I do its something people fear since I feel like I am possessed.

I feel like I haven't grown up and I'm constantly trying to relive a childhood like a broken record.

I don't feel like I have a solid identity. Like I'm always questioning ''is this me? Is this what I like and how I am?''

I become very attached to people, for example my best friend wanted to join the army and I got angry trying to convince him to not go because I want to keep seeing him.

Just want to know your thoughts.",4.161256293454805,5.512392539518904,5.5841372972109005,79.1342064253177,71.19931271477662,8.575465515863502,28.483337329177647,9.037768484169169,2.384063485974586,2326,87,440,46,43,784,260,582,0.121,0.6920000000000001,0.187,0.9916,0,0,1,0,1,0,41.0,0,1,6,6,27,37,4,1,24,0,44,4,2,6,5,89,85,45,1,9,16,7,5,10,2,1,1,4,0,8,22,35,1,1,15,6,0,4,12,10,1,1,21,13,78,27,67,59,10,54,0,2,4,0,43,22,0,12,36,306,100,2,0.0,0.15424971479076335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832559740565983,0.0,0.0,0.0442656422989924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05794679327506778,0.0,0.07405296930322271,0.0,0.05005269146024423,0.05435014499508602,0.15872096466576152,0.1437807615239661,0.0,0.0,0.06831135018187769,0.0,0.0,0.0723039267825762,0.08198266996730666,0.0,0.13293497269280166,0.07444933722327803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034267869771993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150187883398716,0.0,0.0,0.05606472104093693,0.0660682787811931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661057259833941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598695573556685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272824633166494,0.07324800350942418,0.1316524125982705,0.1860105238819411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536828539264865,0.07871101655841536,0.0,0.10058176731366048,0.0,0.13603414648118106,0.0,0.03699399418019105,0.05459712996449896,0.05206101859042365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929297527379576,0.0,0.06426610830480442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754918547063744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05785787165851875,0.0,0.0,0.07154709598158426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180127407525705,0.06524053734077433,0.05747853251662734,0.0,0.054661936039123164,0.0,0.0,0.11067990717760527,0.0,0.0,0.08690049997165689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559868613588969,0.0,0.0,0.07623642794963263,0.0,0.0,0.04785102864433945,0.0,0.050203927448884855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830441625299599,0.06932218708097164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070489646708051,0.0,0.4061471733436934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062285449434546634,0.0,0.0,0.14583867509526946,0.0,0.0,0.07409036948769153,0.08340080581040953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737379633397004,0.0,0.0,0.05176476523457235,0.0,0.0,0.1556126783451329,0.05925845027779455,0.06790645630015765,0.0,0.0,0.05384580924525895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05011196419544948,0.06437888890746736,0.0,0.13822001263752548,0.0,0.10396710743595083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695846653888912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043245063065193615,0.0,0.0639537878543913,0.1033535393918619,0.03795639767510525,0.0,0.0,0.06219939010462289,0.0,0.13258213221880874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053708748556312816,0.1535747419742123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852664934176309,0.06034209510448296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059085318217227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04624037734673187,0.0,0.0,0.04191791898201375
mentalhealth,rmsfr,2019/03/19,"[USA] Addressed a very traumatic event at the end of counseling session, and am reeling. How do I work with it until my next session? So I spoke, for the first time ever, about an extremely traumatic event at the very end of my session. I will not meet with my therapist again until next week. I haven't thought of or spoken about this stuff for several years and now I am trying to work and get things done with it at the forefront of my mind. How do I process and work with it until I can meet with him again?",4.172676837725383,4.965696864077671,4.6980859916782265,87.5873786407767,70.6504854368932,8.215811373092926,28.30651872399445,8.418075326091056,1.7767819694868239,399,14,85,6,7,127,59,103,0.083,0.917,0.0,-0.8536,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,0,6,0,8,0,0,2,1,16,11,11,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,6,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,12,0,20,7,0,20,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,17,66,18,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010729242020279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480557342175332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17773241857788913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713049866896548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265558422198094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19839438214892613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179291985380391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219727311141024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249289328232864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281348543139817,0.13053626103466598,0.0,0.0,0.1559875699172173,0.11457229759114344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340078298846414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242422937768794,0.0,0.0,0.15760884715552334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291314364669799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653024475920327
mentalhealth,AYO801,2019/03/19,Dreams Ever since I injured my knee ive been having strange/crazy vivid dreams i have a feeling its probably stress. Let me know what y'all think.,0.6348275862068959,3.0228517931034524,0.9133793103448262,98.84455172413792,100.0344827586207,3.6993103448275866,19.593103448275865,5.6839178017228535,-0.15524000000000004,118,4,24,1,5,35,26,29,0.181,0.5920000000000001,0.227,0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,5,2,1,0,1,4,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,14,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695605228761471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065772002758968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245306179210985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4177741902803288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404903598673461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379601270025406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679972769377592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617849346476437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Flannelshirtdolphin8,2019/03/19,"A little advice would be a big help So I thought I had my mental health under control, and was tackling depression gradually, but today I realised it was 4 weeks to go my exams and I felt like I’d fallen down the ladder again. 

It happened last semester too with one of my classes which I thought would be impossible to pass (ended up getting 71% in it). 

Even though I proved to myself that I can do I still have no confidence in myself and I just want to hide away under my covers until it’s all over. 

I’m questioning every decision I’m making whether it’s right and if it’s not it’s time wasted and studying time wasted. 

So I thought who better to ask than the other patients in the ward of life.

Does anyone have any advice on reassuring myself or ways to maintain mental health with studying and university? 

Thanks to anyone who even reads.",3.945891294334408,5.556233317365268,5.247544910179641,80.32070474435746,72.11377245508982,7.29415016121603,26.618608935974212,7.882392219407189,1.6935356057116535,672,23,123,9,13,224,105,167,0.069,0.762,0.16899999999999998,0.9611,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,9,5,0,0,5,0,11,3,0,2,2,27,24,14,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,12,8,0,1,7,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,7,1,17,4,23,13,1,26,0,1,0,0,6,13,0,3,10,91,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868198215377695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980025798506607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052327705557252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371986241620756,0.0,0.13788367554097694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979524579003093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16460122220884846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640217860057196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284286386751866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998374846493946,0.0,0.0,0.19386413299497895,0.0,0.1236496787854304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091039178358386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667483294323038,0.0,0.08340577412484851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297773357151668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31199311181714195,0.0,0.0,0.09836858239090653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196271003422914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365929269193183,0.07169839162226932,0.14708975448079792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796189398566572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957944563697065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944680512559262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644021936968418,0.0,0.1467973991984111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533026067961026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720087640414925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511475835681006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418867987680195,0.3495276254653701,0.17115117203418473,0.0,0.13910912496590505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656148466959683,0.1164894189360638,0.11772016220660002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850489674858694,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,onequackaway,2019/03/19,"Constant need for approval driving people away Mobile post and throw away account 
I'm a 25 year old female who has needed constant approval for as long as I can remember. I grew up with a narcissistic father, a mom with PTSD and a very broken family kept together ""for the kids"". Never had approval for anything and to this day I struggle and force myself into circumstances I dont want to be in so people are ""proud of me"", ask every time I get dressed if I look nice, everything I cook is it good, and so on and so forth. 
It's gotten to the point people dont want to really be around me because my obsession with approval and acceptance has really become an annoyance. I dont know what to do, and honestly I dont know where to begin with changing, but obviously its come to the point where either I change or suffer with my obsession alone.
Any advice would be nice on where to start and what to do. ",8.518561452513968,6.297718474860339,8.891557262569837,71.16683310055869,62.575418994413404,12.078491620111732,35.782821229050285,10.686352973137794,3.652301117318436,713,24,135,14,8,239,107,179,0.109,0.77,0.121,0.2574,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,7,11,1,3,8,0,16,1,0,0,2,33,31,17,0,6,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,17,1,1,4,1,1,4,5,5,0,0,3,1,15,6,29,24,1,28,0,1,1,0,5,13,0,2,10,95,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546882248407166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238261657987347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035580115319645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723918105514133,0.10519131217898806,0.11046770403448852,0.0,0.22203856859168747,0.0,0.0,0.07203188304248198,0.13050322645988094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500044009205333,0.10178811329625577,0.0,0.25538733918454115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620622184051089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5539508914493977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955855026572637,0.0,0.10619848676947,0.0,0.11139482051898596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061735989002781315,0.0,0.0,0.0991106395639574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988005864574825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457171978516944,0.0992282825885598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383926432959522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17523471718584346,0.0911356212554928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399359424715367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457608188889613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22340698501198952,0.0,0.11316877115763825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812778649892102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139820004080612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385715900255965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836373258811166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353102120742368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890257512747831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749795315353056,0.13939277493002925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394055466822709,0.0,0.0,0.07609395882528895
mentalhealth,grayycee,2019/03/19,"fckn nightmares. A few months ago I started to get these really vivid dreams. I thought they were trying to tell me something, but every night they changed. I would remember every dream as soon as I woke up. Recently I have started to get nightmares. They happen every night, are very vivid, and sometimes come in series. I feel so tired the next day because I felt like all my sleep was, was me being scared in dreams. I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt like this. I started to get really stressed out a few months ago. Now I’m stuck being stressed over money, working, school, and so much more. I worry a lot about other people before myself, and maybe I just need to focus myself on being mentally healthier. I don’t know, I was just curious as to if anyone else has ever felt like this or been through this. I just wonder if they will stop anytime soon. ",4.039752747252749,5.6391027738095225,4.480952380952381,85.95379120879122,71.85714285714286,6.8358974358974365,24.827838827838825,7.321109707123232,1.1251432234432237,678,20,129,7,13,214,99,168,0.14400000000000002,0.74,0.117,-0.7826,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,4,1,11,6,0,3,4,0,16,2,1,0,3,29,36,13,0,5,8,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,9,3,1,1,2,3,0,0,11,6,23,3,17,20,6,25,0,0,2,0,5,6,0,6,21,89,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093693896886766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849897690310413,0.2322590561895221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909059804989785,0.0,0.096443414259963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989797326635955,0.09763178921563777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309448565961946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893609184745276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20504380912544207,0.2864797984574321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05730776611823697,0.0,0.3264705661611102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776453518043601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002255871728805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245766533869216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611560162087527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963570375861947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386458169539587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421937778567033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18093272926218068,0.0,0.08331744185910611,0.0840396703383021,0.0,0.0,0.12053765359557685,0.2127225497179204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857521436841551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521614238972896,0.0,0.11190890604221176,0.0,0.12839135641217095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347243243646388,0.11470544365964777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134211732132461,0.0,0.0,0.08725414649563393,0.1120954864600656,0.0,0.2406664640856001,0.0,0.0,0.09475674728056954,0.2596596183402743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906356210913804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899787606784598,0.0,0.13026687649972946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694995911025662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935168096056238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229116587964109,0.08251237548811924,0.11510158200683948,0.0,0.08051300171130613,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ZaraVau,2019/03/19,"Could it be psychosomatic? So, nothing helps me (F25) anymore so let me explain: Since 2014 I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. I did everything to get rid of it. I started confronting myself with everything that triggered me and after 4 years now, I can tell it got better and when my anxiety appears, I can handle it like a professional. This has been a lot of work and I also spent 8 weeks in a clinic, that helped me a lot. 

So, whenever I'm stressed, my body reacted to it with anxiety or some panic attacks. For a while now (1 year i guess), my panic attacks are gone and I really wish they would appear to relief my stress level right now, because they feel like hell but afterwards I'm feeling more free in my mind. 

For 6 months now, I suffer from something different. I made some bad decisions the past months, met some toxic people and felt alone sometimes. So, every now and then my body feels week and tired. My head feels like I have a hangover. I had some trouble breathing and my neck and back hurts. One day I woke up and felt depressed the first time in my life. I felt the urge to cry but i couldnt. Usually i suffer from that for a week. Afterwards everything is back to normal and then it starts again. 
My first thought was, that I could be sick. I went to the doctor and after a week I got the call that everything is completely fine. My heart, my blood, no infects, my lungs. This is nice, but could it be psychosomatic? 

These feeling of weekness and everything stays up to one week and happened to me the fifth time since December. I never had to deal with depression or anything. 

Can someone explain this to me or has any advice what to do? Maybe someone who experienced something like that? I already called a therapist, but i really want to know what's going on with me.

Edit: I always had a really positive mindset. I've always been a really, really happy person and whenever this feelings disappear I am again an active and happy one. ",3.392474323062558,5.586185751322752,4.666517273576098,81.40773109243698,75.08465608465609,7.939122315592903,26.726112667289136,8.757208317658263,2.2234473078120143,1546,59,286,33,34,510,191,378,0.18600000000000005,0.688,0.126,-0.9687,1,1,2,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,2,4,15,27,4,4,18,0,28,14,8,3,1,64,61,32,0,8,7,0,9,4,0,1,6,0,0,1,21,20,0,0,14,0,2,6,3,16,0,5,19,10,47,12,33,33,7,52,1,6,0,0,13,8,1,12,41,202,68,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934691071501155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349911605970258,0.07831247108951027,0.05675128557014164,0.11809837983979432,0.0,0.0,0.048259144313804916,0.0,0.16286581620604654,0.0,0.07037895609285963,0.0,0.0,0.058398766537711276,0.0,0.0,0.16146757380503834,0.0,0.10913656438818964,0.05925343798419892,0.04326006323196215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276343993784253,0.0,0.1576539029293406,0.0,0.0,0.14492793277913565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440623992013946,0.0,0.0,0.16998113331669282,0.0,0.07795254536352057,0.04576703865349683,0.07316257335893296,0.12224539498840067,0.0,0.0,0.07414410568077696,0.08133289902332436,0.07263645339719947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059791706087118875,0.0,0.3188972062604896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21529449643787774,0.10139589362865052,0.20441475011266008,0.0,0.0,0.12072686338192322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707667598211959,0.0,0.040331471795373386,0.0,0.11351558810821208,0.0,0.07817677566151192,0.0,0.0627547793902148,0.15108872344306384,0.0,0.0,0.07283133431847573,0.0,0.0,0.08409475682131189,0.09513369422867676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597030437433798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03900092092742007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725672886464229,0.05012520875682955,0.13868112560929693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066508776817568,0.0,0.0671495096356094,0.0,0.0,0.07129463549391042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165517861846134,0.0,0.11328837105970015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547331622008493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953136868936785,0.06809355220296312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442646887993302,0.0,0.0,0.16652603714167544,0.0,0.0,0.06774483943234909,0.049198716438779766,0.061964556643611834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273123869019173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606043637475282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740720541265988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025810134481955,0.10926580464467676,0.07018694249509631,0.0,0.10045984787140608,0.0756400484518588,0.0,0.0,0.162582056390291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620271944632712,0.0,0.0,0.08239670679129406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05633887947637348,0.0827614003954832,0.08156469148434052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815874894617447,0.0,0.04185743869832862,0.0,0.34154666999495764,0.0,0.0,0.0657859623085345,0.0,0.0,0.08160711157703343,0.0,0.0,0.05166391204860498,0.0,0.0,0.05041203352315357,0.0,0.0,0.09139923409779288
mentalhealth,iamprocrastinating84,2019/03/19,"I went back to therapy! I finally friggin did it you guys! After almost 2 years of trying and loosing to my anxiety. 

I made my own appointment. I did the phone intake. I kept myself calm about it for a whole week. I drove for 45 minutes. I found the clinic in a confusing office building. I filled out paperwork. I didn't lie and pretend everything is better than it is when i got in there. I listened. I shared. I have homework that I've already started working on. I'm looking forward to next week.

I DID THE THING! 

If you're like me and hate therapy, go anyway. Start now. We can do it!
",-0.0760410830999092,2.2550028571428617,2.4572408963585453,89.22052054154997,96.05882352941177,5.333520074696546,23.417833800186735,6.937597516519254,1.237940802987862,456,20,90,8,18,156,84,119,0.066,0.8190000000000001,0.114,0.6444,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,1,0,2,6,6,1,1,5,0,9,1,0,1,0,11,22,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,6,5,0,1,1,1,0,5,1,2,0,0,10,2,20,4,13,12,2,20,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,3,13,64,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257244241147095,0.0,0.2122208028453796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471179655485928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787586824948515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700841185016678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728374043015348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106681265531478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21085991220399836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092952017127244,0.0,0.15380927781128995,0.0,0.0,0.1904188718249323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18986804280318773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395380903849464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614934385377349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819700316856863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452573227373247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722384988289586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4398505020249189,0.0,0.12776338417982133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056705739654886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30852177823481963,0.0,0.0,0.17827492279123253,0.0,0.21470920566601945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000524744719295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384246448765518
mentalhealth,makawan,2019/03/19,"The SHUT UP: Comment section blocker Hi, I found this browser extension really helped me survive the daily traumas of the internet:

https://rickyromero.com/shutup/

With this, and some knowledge of site blocking (other extensions, programs, or router settings can usually perform that function for specific sites/devices/computers/MAC addresses).

Anyways, Good luck, and I hope this helps someone out there! :)",9.8675,14.069636083333334,7.386666666666668,59.91500000000002,63.16666666666666,10.0,48.33333333333334,10.125756701596842,6.8183333333333325,335,23,34,9,6,97,53,60,0.083,0.701,0.21600000000000005,0.8516,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,12,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,3,6,2,2,7,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,4,1,25,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.413515653401252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163279875216746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5055793410888442,0.0,0.0,0.374586121641235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24160618952724602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31955035558885075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4153675426242817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flgeo7,2019/03/19,"My job might be taking a toll on my mental health, and my mental health might be affecting my work Sorry for the long post. I feel like I have a lot to say to explain my situation. 

I’ve had anxiety since high school and I’ve been okay at handling it. I self-medicate with weed once or twice a day, sometimes more if I end up smoking recreationally. I rarely have anxiety attacks or moments of really intense anxiety. 

Recently I found out my girlfriend of 4 years was cheating on me. I don’t want to go into any details but I’m now 2/2 on relationships in which I’ve been cheated on and it sucks. First time was in high school with a friend of mine. I feel like that gave me trust issues because now I feel like my now ex was having sex with everyone including my friends. Just a side note: there’s never been any signs of my friends getting with her, I just feel like I’m traumatized after the first time around so now it’s one of the first thoughts that pops into my head. Also I think I just over analyze things, like if my mind is looking to find something to be suspicious about. Any time I see someone who knows my ex I automatically think “this guy probably fucked her too and I must look so stupid right now”. 

My father is homeless and a (hopefully) recovering addict. This has been happening over the past two years almost. I worry about this a lot especially when I don’t hear from him for days since he doesn’t have a reliable way to contact me. Sometimes I think he purposely avoids contacting me so that I don’t worry about him but he knows that just makes it worse. He also suffers from bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety and hasn’t been taking medications so that makes me worry even more. 

Of course I’m sad and upset and whatever over all that but work makes it really hard to get over. I work a 7 on/7 off rotation and I work in a town 2.5 hours from home. The nearest towns are half an hour away and they’re very small so there’s not really anything to do (think rural agricultural areas). Since I work 12 hour shifts this makes it even harder to find things to do because I have so little time for myself. Work can be slow at times but since I’m at work I need to be present and I find it difficult to engage in or even enjoy any hobbies while I’m there. 

The past couple weeks that I worked I was told that I made several mistakes, not huge mistakes but mistakes nonetheless. I know this is very unusual for me. My personal life has never affected my work until now. I feel like being away from home and having very little to do to stay entertained makes this so much worse. I find myself feeling really homesick, and when I get home I do feel better but only a little. I know the wound is still raw but I’ve never felt this bad before in my life. I don’t think about harming myself ever but I do sometimes think that I’d be better off dead if it meant I didn’t have to feel this way. 

I guess I’m just here looking for advice. I really like my job and the company I work for is one of the best in my area for what I do, but I feel like something needs to change for me to get better. I’d hate to quit my job for a few months until I get better, plus I feel like the pressure of starting a new job would make this even worse. I have money saved up so if I had to be without a job for sometime I could probably support myself for a few months. It’d be really difficult for the company to find a replacement for me. I know this because we had to replace someone early on and it took months to find someone who wasn’t even fully qualified for the position. I would hate to leave a company who’s treated me so well in a bind. I feel like the combination of my relationship, my father, and being virtually alone through all of this is causing my mental health to deteriorate. I truly have never felt this way before. 

What should I do? Is it possible for an employer to allow me to take an unpaid leave to get my mind right? Can I get a doctors note for something like that? I have health insurance and I’m already seeing a therapist if that helps. ",3.251167849141148,4.763842430825246,4.590893203883496,84.72714637789397,73.72087378640776,7.9348469006721425,25.541000746825986,8.571798326834134,1.6873121209858102,3209,106,658,59,65,1064,313,824,0.156,0.718,0.126,-0.9828,6,2,3,0,0,0,62.0,1,0,0,19,42,51,8,3,36,1,67,14,1,11,8,128,141,52,1,17,25,4,14,11,4,6,11,2,4,2,42,28,0,1,34,1,1,2,15,22,1,8,23,21,97,29,100,100,10,99,0,4,5,2,32,44,2,15,59,438,139,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044050027668421074,0.0,0.03948564121300418,0.0,0.0,0.040462171794254896,0.041849877612185234,0.04459056797283967,0.0646275624189925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991366380847294,0.0,0.1236461940557254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033251845237438966,0.0359711506714083,0.0,0.04596924809672796,0.07592816022757833,0.0,0.03373848912312983,0.07389592346725983,0.0,0.06876743831269624,0.0,0.04240507077407008,0.14294823778750498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04150952799778534,0.042745668761721235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0322620189513833,0.044710016810866934,0.0,0.05211885717823268,0.0,0.0348028322868684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046310378307209785,0.041358683584531465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03578896066450635,0.0,0.0,0.13344352490125666,0.03655080443706262,0.0,0.03861099996513095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22474313729845427,0.23093642297903566,0.07759487671834793,0.0,0.2215897758284648,0.10311153510198294,0.0,0.04430462575683399,0.09365596530066088,0.03735598790445492,0.14777838220538214,0.0,0.022964455207660453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044513303954458114,0.04000967640108025,0.03573212819222034,0.0,0.03619709136912309,0.07978787899180638,0.04146964740480022,0.17180469617603633,0.04554207374150826,0.0,0.02708422681594687,0.08538526803039903,0.12159574303455345,0.04013366313104258,0.11937944136306156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042174824854487314,0.2004905354460132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103424470093202,0.0,0.0,0.08557119924269728,0.0,0.0,0.057081879734569435,0.21715114716720835,0.12149648320116922,0.0,0.03575927527132787,0.10179611119741724,0.0,0.0,0.06870584880313152,0.0,0.03823445655708036,0.16183350973691268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044883509465045206,0.040706201942117035,0.1221634583801437,0.08573172651190279,0.08159990531113373,0.0,0.09675839760877794,0.0,0.02970408652255823,0.05992314654301554,0.12465870406238976,0.03902571633318777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04303255961937901,0.05476219664200036,0.030731646652005583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714686627790232,0.0,0.035282180941088294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04555326939703054,0.038699117201645435,0.0,0.08713201764420321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04297824112274665,0.0,0.0,0.1553160813066371,0.0,0.03989743028049279,0.08676484581120086,0.0,0.06901539342427497,0.0,0.03213358435356322,0.0,0.08178888710568871,0.06439892854309834,0.0,0.04215372815436468,0.04564885770547646,0.0,0.13370166719603374,0.04541960783229377,0.0,0.0,0.1027111704118942,0.09332276624651356,0.1598557975041394,0.04523277333743737,0.02860056395060613,0.04306890939638957,0.03226939986736227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04585383587275084,0.0,0.0,0.09114400254967264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691610293737078,0.05368975887685352,0.15534857256518128,0.0,0.03207896009223686,0.1178093922500585,0.0,0.0,0.03861099996513095,0.04489410544172722,0.0,0.0,0.0394721559666416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002100431275256,0.023833329985379518,0.09622053405988297,0.032412376965476664,0.0,0.03633110311681483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03895128928185077,0.0,0.2941706665484992,0.12310702085391075,0.12353577056441024,0.05740851172717881,0.0,0.0,0.05204207840721585
mentalhealth,resunamee,2019/03/19,"What are some of the best mental health related exercises/books/activities that have helped you the most? In general, I would like to know.

 But, I am also planning a mental health camping trip this summer with my friends and coworkers and I would like to know what kind of activities other than yoga that folks could do and take home with them to best manage mental health concerns!

So if there's anything you found the most valuable - gratitude journals, reading the book 'Attached', mindfulness meditation, etc - share them here! ",9.579347826086957,9.817458239130435,8.25991304347826,68.61552173913046,59.0,11.273043478260867,37.96521739130435,10.793553405168565,4.250610434782608,426,18,67,9,5,130,67,92,0.0,0.746,0.254,0.9782,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,2,3,4,8,0,0,5,0,7,3,0,0,0,18,11,7,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,2,3,0,1,0,6,5,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,8,9,7,6,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,4,3,50,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969751416710934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334626127720972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34040165289359325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948975648745556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18087667579693545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17782505208882154,0.1253020169904791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5171781477337382,0.0,0.0,0.10870770178186874,0.0,0.16268255642631266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888841269418964,0.17826283382647087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846863267257588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.490326302924447,0.0,0.16375837922699318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162226673461648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194127004506737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304199937103093,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,forbes619,2019/03/19,"What do you do when you’re feeling really depressed, confused and lost? I don’t always feel like this, but it’s been coming in waves for frequently lately. I have depression and an anxiety/ panic disorder.",5.478596491228071,7.549023000000004,6.428947368421053,71.53096491228072,69.0,10.329824561403509,31.08771929824561,10.504223727775694,3.940761403508773,166,7,26,5,3,55,33,38,0.402,0.534,0.064,-0.95,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,1,6,0,2,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,9,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,2,3,1,2,7,0,5,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370293825381759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21791991786431653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453848169145903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4907053006407526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264784303000639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880712483031161,0.20350665344696955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213386128325671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916999376901915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310962332082288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342261241328256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182490952996072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kubicka,2019/03/19,"Stress and binge eating  

Hello there,

I  am 25y old, 173cm and 78kg guy from Czech Republic who love challenges.  I've done a lot of things in my life but now I think I took a lot of  them on myself.

I take only supplements for my trainings and I am a non smoker.

I   am studying for my master degree, work in IT company, doing a chief of   biggest scout camp in our country as well as chief of our boy scout   section. Also working out in gym.

Most of my days are really filled from morning till evening and I do not have much time for my friends or other things.

There is a lot of responsibilites that I have to do in time and with best performance and that puts me in a lot of stress.

The   biggest problem of this is that I always binge when the stress levels   are high and I totally turn myself off on that day or days. After those   binges I am even more stressed because I do care about my body image  and  health as well.

Do you have any tips how to deal with this? Any kind of relaxation techniques etc.?",2.4974117647058804,4.0890504829268295,3.44562410329986,91.83724533715929,75.87804878048779,6.384505021520805,22.790530846484927,7.048011613610866,0.5765523672883783,779,22,170,8,17,249,122,205,0.076,0.795,0.129,0.9087,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,2,1,1,6,11,14,0,4,8,0,17,5,1,1,1,24,23,18,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,12,11,1,0,1,2,0,3,1,5,2,0,2,0,25,9,34,21,11,28,0,0,0,1,11,15,0,7,10,129,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422803940871567,0.09804340710393036,0.0,0.0,0.1602559133788009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182764059162593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365456874648262,0.0,0.0,0.13088177676436258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013481249258905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227970429843312,0.12147682253273367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058027154693116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056877820588098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314108033955928,0.1556502675030591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103461597388587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666952066702205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524702368412755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449311253193347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270107186880265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322631106340321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40069698972450657,0.1063455331952362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661808462777391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236420172161249,0.0,0.0,0.08961448346282996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127467158605942,0.0,0.11845097956738733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548445937708341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5398922072966932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885929608839745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656108712544767,0.07550025030526714,0.0,0.0,0.13741441131492282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091267497778716,0.0,0.12816443030955438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21188536210347814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156225067386507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shellbell9292,2019/03/19,"My anxiety I’ve been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks since I was little. I got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and a panic disorder at the age of 12. Last year I got diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder. 
Now I’ve been on multiple different antidepressants, sertraline, fluoxetine, citalopram and currently doxepin and one antihistamine that supposedly helps with panic attacks. 
I have attended CBT therapy since I was 11, and tried hypnotherapy as well. 
However I am now a lot worse mentally than I was when I began this process. 
I don’t see how I can go to university, something I wish to do, or get a job if I can barely leave the house. When I have really bad panic attacks they knock me off so much I don’t leave the house at all for a few weeks, this isn’t handy as I have exams in 5 weeks time. 
I’m struggling with coping with my anxiety and I don’t understand how other people manage it. 
If anyone has any tips, recommended types of therapy, any knowledge on these medications I’ve been put on (as personally since being on them, over a year almost two now, my mood has been very low), if anyone knows any natural medicines, help would be appreciated greatly 
I would ask my psychiatrist but she’s quite rubbish, I haven’t seen her since January due to her cancelling so often. 


Sorry this post is all over the place and not well written. ",6.086761272602423,7.157071404669264,7.294209201190203,69.69292286564433,66.47081712062257,11.494529640650036,34.183794918745704,11.326091736570909,4.330530510414284,1089,49,191,35,17,370,148,257,0.152,0.779,0.069,-0.9395,4,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,1,12,15,3,6,10,0,26,3,0,3,2,33,39,21,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,7,13,0,0,3,0,0,3,6,11,2,2,12,2,28,3,26,23,5,33,0,1,2,0,9,13,0,7,16,129,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859761787039734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516280730661668,0.0,0.26273002176592586,0.0,0.0,0.12007032502606332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026731477464613,0.2930337236479784,0.0,0.0,0.0716893394848404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429176195030435,0.0,0.089705207727635,0.2952082785942756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485819729414532,0.0,0.04879609811388192,0.0,0.13733983730836086,0.09466072317207896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151000167083185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19814134312636356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520259461905222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04718629594679093,0.06998718957567436,0.0,0.1818262439152627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605406719741124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299492430538465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649470696559113,0.08652647533103137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311682586114586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581808167472521,0.0,0.0,0.4029518629078788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05952436862716101,0.07496945811711568,0.089705207727635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822299463591101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631280502870514,0.0,0.0913224568849362,0.0,0.0,0.055003980960789296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684191374714096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840964269124461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609906217885074,0.0,0.09611300707017456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951859234069165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19637630852873375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05006553485364662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058293162401667487,0.0,0.0838725403192753,0.08938307089512823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084331990112562,0.0,0.0,0.13774309141755195,0.0,0.1543965276983609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987345228437768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749846268251023,0.12198466479957687,0.0,0.0,0.11058178132445894
mentalhealth,PayThemB1tchesNoMind,2019/03/19,"I (23F) might have bipolar disorder, and I feel scared A little background: I had a pretty rough childhood, and was diagnosed with chronic depression at age 18. Mental illness runs in the family. One 1st cousin killed herself, another one has severe bipolar disorder. 

I recently went to a psychologist because I was feeling TOO WELL for ""too long"" (3 months). I had so much energy and needed less sleep than usual, I was making plans, and overall my mood was great and everything felt clear and happy. I've had this episodes after having severe depression, but these ""happy"" moments usually last around a month or 2, and I go back into my usual depressive mood. 

When talking about my periods of impulsiveness, such as drinking, over eating, shopping, etc. How I go from full on suicidal mode to happy times, and how this cycle always happens she said she would like to further discussed my case with a colleague, since my symptoms seem to align with those of bipolar disorder.  

I haven't stopped thinking about it. I am so scared but at the same time I want to know what is actually wrong with me so I follow the best treatment. I think what makes me so scared of being diagnosed with this disorder is that my cousin's condition is so bad. He has had to be institutionalised a couple of times, his medication makes his hands shake uncontrollably, he hears voices and he randomly scream things as ""shut up goddam it"". I am so afraid of ending up like him, I want to have a normal life, have a family and be a good parent. I want to be able to have a career and keep a job. I just want to be normal.

I have my next appointment in a week, but I just needed to take this out of my chest cause I have no one to talk about this, and the anxiety is eating me alive :(",5.254996755353666,6.389306268656718,5.9411810512654135,78.40951330304999,68.40298507462687,9.169370538611293,29.19208306294614,9.43228470229965,2.5856177806619085,1380,49,255,28,23,450,186,335,0.199,0.679,0.122,-0.9865,2,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,2,20,25,2,6,16,0,31,16,3,6,1,54,56,27,2,9,6,3,5,2,0,2,10,4,0,0,13,20,3,2,7,2,1,6,2,14,1,3,11,9,38,9,43,38,6,43,0,3,0,0,17,15,1,4,24,183,51,2,0.0810474042210737,0.0,0.07909057529115499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743793288411748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849852699791495,0.062001042392620775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214937280428373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062320451088304425,0.06767119717226061,0.0494057453583577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505425050253575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832580096700258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967741122435266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20941803148705804,0.16452281849986716,0.0,0.0,0.3715493874206364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939560106761273,0.0,0.16586345604960714,0.0,0.0,0.07178394399581271,0.0,0.09038927962025793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284018094710866,0.0,0.152808559330739,0.0,0.0819600055523943,0.0,0.07781821798245156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921222151139988,0.06797871739258825,0.0,0.08935504927620544,0.0,0.0,0.07166995188953262,0.258829406591072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134631490307056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042704286978841,0.07203865677497212,0.08966694459867122,0.0,0.04454153378717017,0.06606445169311892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057246178457842176,0.07919133567979962,0.08123079094657312,0.0,0.07172440232257461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229931498292352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164673313335732,0.08167672090192929,0.0859784880634735,0.0,0.0,0.1293825296238435,0.0,0.0595791675363397,0.12019124656399235,0.0,0.0,0.08619483385186595,0.0,0.15881849628675085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475945587052127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999355107386542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245434716060318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002453403661144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709464108305858,0.0,0.24342777137783103,0.0,0.0,0.07378251287524261,0.0,0.18312099508676502,0.0,0.06704325029243806,0.0,0.0811059356871221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775925899134685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865270569185199,0.0,0.0,0.08423928548252352,0.06093756150034092,0.13028566698358293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384429406170215,0.10386380814822917,0.0,0.0,0.14177817950180333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677867963754725,0.0,0.19121543550170106,0.0,0.06501133896208493,0.0,0.07287134979669871,0.07513175569213226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575737505950231,0.08861261348107942,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Inversely_,2019/03/19,"Numb.... So to start I’m a junior in high school, had a history of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. Grades have been super shaky and not consistent/increasing probably since 7th grade, to admit it fed up with all of this I honestly just want to do my own thing, I’m aware I have a super nice life but unfortunately that doesn’t help my mental health, so if anything does anyone have tips for motivation so I can at least get through all of this with decent grades, and somewhat consistent?",3.1622340425531914,5.884600755319152,4.144085106382981,82.09400000000002,78.68085106382979,8.440851063829786,25.35744680851064,9.120678840339163,2.4564672340425537,397,15,74,11,10,128,69,94,0.11,0.708,0.182,0.7391,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,4,7,0,1,3,0,8,4,0,1,2,17,16,8,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,5,4,13,12,5,5,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,3,1,49,10,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645579528696892,0.0,0.0,0.18870484824689135,0.0,0.22208645258132925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23244537279606484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361719008726784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410000232977356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868675049316427,0.0,0.0,0.18089341543335727,0.28514073646395044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190622687047923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719733688259177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909739379375457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731307641451693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22324572335570916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191020911599334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952025345324076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17929483317037254,0.0,0.0,0.21425284517328108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918093182069762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sugarandspice24,2019/03/19,"How do you fight self destructive urges? I really would like advice. I'm very depressed to the point that I've been having obsessive thoughts about drastic things I can do just so something will change. All the thoughts I have are negative and will ultimately hurt me and be negative for me, but I can't stop. Any advice would be helpful, I feel like Im going to ruin my life just to feel something",4.332692307692309,5.9703343205128165,4.759487179487183,84.09384615384619,71.1794871794872,8.276923076923078,28.384615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.183215384615385,319,12,62,6,6,101,55,78,0.227,0.642,0.131,-0.762,0,0,2,0,1,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,5,8,2,1,2,0,14,1,0,1,1,14,20,5,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,3,2,9,2,5,11,1,3,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,42,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4045510979701544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407653896759939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189758947782726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17828663257831062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20932829841262826,0.1478790463561918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764144234646245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874605248217986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22159509148193596,0.0,0.2235928073355157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620844699120072,0.20225703299005507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19567953309056565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260789089986194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159435238292053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187135575603053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17305916819749242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375199327916106,0.0,0.0,0.3286657662983869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079460563280802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940901519969982,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,boringunsername_626,2019/03/19,"How can I help my friend with severe anxiety? We've been friends for 10 years. She was always a bit self conscious and hated to lose control.

But over the past year or 2 years, she got worse. She was seeing a therapist but she says it only helps her for 2 days and then everything goes back to where she was, so she stopped. It's got to the point where she has to take pictures before leaving her house to mke sure she turned off the oven of stuff like that. She is scared of driving, going anywhere alone, or losing any kind of control over anything.

I would love to help her but I have no idea what to do. Sometimes I have thoughts like ""omg she's being dramatic, she needs to stop and just do things!"" But of course I know this is completely wrong and stupid. But it does feel like she always ""complains"" about the things she can't do due to her anxiety, almost like she's proud of it. Sometimes it doesn't feel like she doesn't even want to get better, like having her life ruled by her anxiety is just a cute quirk (maybe that comes from society always romanticizing mental illness...)
(Of course I know those thoughts are wrong, I have anxiety myself, to a much smaller degree so I understand these are not things I should tell her)

What could I do, or say to help her to actually do something to get better?",3.7758880308880336,5.297655189189193,3.948530888030888,89.81893532818533,72.39768339768341,7.033281853281852,24.533011583011586,7.554174236665415,0.9746029343629344,1030,30,215,12,20,318,142,259,0.158,0.638,0.204,0.9597,0,1,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,7,10,24,2,1,8,0,27,3,0,3,1,38,47,16,0,5,11,0,2,6,2,2,2,2,1,1,16,6,0,4,9,0,0,3,5,8,0,0,8,5,35,16,29,35,2,19,0,2,1,1,35,6,0,4,16,140,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.09013047770506558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924856509391714,0.0956575735076378,0.0,0.0,0.23055388397082796,0.0,0.0,0.06280827433167603,0.0,0.28262197099905945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600478212960839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101948628779567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859194172904065,0.0,0.0,0.16337062787447829,0.10083369211047337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956035098731193,0.09683817637760686,0.0,0.20718020030307988,0.07374230524507401,0.0,0.0,0.05956485055776179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082525368984372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100320727649421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300761855275722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340043900241113,0.1319646502996938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271491174872195,0.0,0.09650904795365306,0.0,0.0524905731492516,0.0,0.14773818102660832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118682461158456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476290556022671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657156071159826,0.0,0.10426370781786484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617919763759444,0.10151777764102138,0.0,0.0,0.09779638255515102,0.0,0.0,0.06523691845963563,0.2707359083676092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206655441130166,0.0,0.0,0.08335891365314599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278848782234696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307761190475844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789555913017829,0.06848410464142518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024428544013311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816850195176723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731048039390685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468974765398054,0.09246892456399948,0.0,0.07359932205788451,0.0,0.09635209419042716,0.10434102106501486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110358804301281,0.1826936967662953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443494649897535,0.0,0.0,0.10573062015343553,0.0,0.0,0.08704863268735766,0.0,0.06944356527928515,0.0,0.08072710573856824,0.0,0.0,0.10723760310631666,0.18408054035292767,0.0,0.0,0.1466477637764111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046164947957936,0.0,0.09615048748725086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447658739017243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412319085768772,0.06561021493773428,0.20196330989736036,0.0,0.17843130821769773
mentalhealth,ghost2all,2019/03/19,"Is this a issue Hi I need to know if this is a red flag of some bigger issues. I am bored of gore videos, they don’t brother at all and now I find self laughing at some fucked up stuff. I know plenty of people watch them and are balance people. I just need a unbiased opinion.",-0.13198547215496248,2.0157579322033925,1.8971428571428568,96.47322033898304,88.32203389830508,4.049394673123486,16.90314769975787,5.288315135182226,-0.6989631961259078,214,5,48,1,7,71,43,59,0.134,0.81,0.056,-0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,0,2,3,1,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,13,10,3,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,7,1,7,10,3,5,0,0,2,1,5,4,1,4,1,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24624769342660985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249077173964884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5624151187802955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961356123593282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3995474041321757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735678972043898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28106689368322096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084248165379179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KayZakkattack,2019/03/19,"Trying to Figure Out What This Sensation Is For the past two years I've been getting a sensation that is almost impossible to explain. When it first started, I was sure I was going insane.

It is almost completely mental, except I usually get hor and sometimes sweat. I'm not incapacitated in any way, I can drive and dont feel dizzy or unstable, but putting my head down when I can helps make me feel a little better.

The episodes are usually more than 3 minutes, up up to 4 a day when it happens. Maybe a few days in a row, but usually with months gap of time in between.

So the feeling I can say it is a cold kind of dread, almost like things are coming to an end. I associate the actual feeling to waking up after an uneasy troubling dream but not knowing what the dream was or what you are dreading. It's extremely uncomfortable and I could say it hurts.

It starts in the back of my head. I can feel it coming on, growing to a peak then ending after a few minutes. If i just hang on and continue what I'm doing, i can have a whole episode and no one would ever know.

I just want to know what this is. It's been years now, I'm pretty sure it's not hurting me, but when I cant find someone who shares this experience.

Anyone know what this is?",4.529102941176472,4.80146421176471,5.8499387254901976,81.50784926470591,69.62745098039215,8.727941176470589,28.87867647058824,8.660442795831766,2.0161029411764706,974,33,202,15,16,329,140,255,0.118,0.733,0.149,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,2,10,11,0,2,17,0,25,4,4,1,3,44,48,18,0,4,13,0,5,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,23,9,0,0,12,2,0,7,6,5,0,3,5,8,18,6,28,41,4,46,0,2,0,0,7,12,0,6,27,145,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.10564887593072086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252286677127637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736224166480478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569986715839848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324741071533408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574964892294513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651763231452867,0.11351148625832758,0.0,0.0,0.08643903656181673,0.0,0.0,0.1396410995845687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688319557381064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19177741380974805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792990097303264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590179263049476,0.0,0.0,0.2737046236549017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895023806696268,0.09208828257211094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131256894788924,0.0,0.061528244289623175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573643670265168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222177337153586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256627291429282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23179513358783535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127390465141117,0.2379936147649196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289173562857416,0.10850776749159112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722662598299474,0.0,0.1087645343434298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910343895249253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641433425861635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336167530117177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334909301358616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014218901620962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883401662023384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721898481918025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173071931135332,0.0,0.10707467770306893,0.0,0.1532579344609814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407281596397595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192499386887376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312890944223801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350333480135593,0.0,0.10575702462749843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577085376103143,0.0,0.06385620456985475,0.08593397160639815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087155017265293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690678707403589,0.0,0.0,0.13943538762943358
mentalhealth,brizzlebill,2019/03/19,"Is isolating really that unhealthy? 
My whole life i've hated being around people. My therapist has identified isolating as a primary character defect that I need to change. My problem is i'm comfortable in my solidarity, being around others legitimately makes me feel sick. At what point can I say fuck what other people have to say and live my life comfortably alone? what do you guys think?",4.966857142857143,7.951791114285713,6.178571428571432,68.57642857142861,73.57142857142857,10.285714285714286,27.142857142857146,10.290406445055957,3.772142857142857,318,12,49,11,7,106,52,70,0.261,0.642,0.097,-0.9327,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,2,6,2,0,1,0,8,4,0,1,0,8,15,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,9,2,7,13,1,5,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,0,34,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214427038283534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.380672504627562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261826559031715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810877274551442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197663922518454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170553958736052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211093134135363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30204068707592857,0.0,0.0,0.1887981689647321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271985172918664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853742411572047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964578998266646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021195828204384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20458731793450136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697217672209658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34006062664697745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482499180479265,0.0,0.13700083053804274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387112569477297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,candy31,2019/03/19,"My nigjtmares are ruining my life Hello Reddit,
So for the past couple years I have had nightmares and they have been increasing in realism, frequency, and extreme (how bad they can become). They are not like ""clown"" or ""ghost"" nightmares but instead real life events or what could happen in real life. I do occasionally get a dream of something I fear such as snakes but those I can shake off and know they aren't real. I wake up at night sweating, screaming, and unable to sleep again. I become paralyzed and can't wake myself up. Last night was one of my worst nights yet. I remember a few nightmares from last night revolving around work but I know those aren't real. What I don't know are the ones I don't remember but my brain is telling me to not do something. I stood at my work entrance paralyzed for over 40 minutes. After having multiple panic attacks I  finally I knew I had to turn around and go back home. I'm on a blood pressure med that is commonly used for nightmares and the most common nightmares it helps with is anything PTSD. I'm on the highest dose without any luck (and I don't have any of the side effects such as dizziness). I don't have an psych appointment until Monday and I even tried to schedule an emergency one but didn't have any luck. I'm honestly scared of 1. Losing my job because of my mental health 2. Sleeping in general and 3. That my nightmares will continue to be the judge of my life. For those of you who suffer from nightmares what do you do? How do you carry on through the day?",4.347227120705384,5.718594979933116,4.904434478564912,84.10711690483433,70.77257525083613,7.844390392216479,28.975524475524484,8.296473431620573,2.009473578595318,1205,46,233,18,22,385,158,299,0.173,0.797,0.03,-0.9925,1,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,4,4,12,16,1,5,12,0,34,13,7,4,0,42,47,23,1,1,10,0,0,1,0,1,6,1,1,0,10,13,0,0,7,1,0,3,11,12,0,3,7,1,35,4,39,37,4,39,0,3,0,0,11,15,0,5,22,165,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981049702034384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07990945598235852,0.17288875613888036,0.0,0.11047139131971137,0.0,0.07466804527808155,0.08107893839408688,0.05919453994625424,0.2144905318451413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840172168333946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753074648605995,0.1074452588963647,0.0,0.06262493846274715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413718939856956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092705523521127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637420018782423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05073355454266535,0.0,0.05518722673799872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586996915639859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321848087383644,0.0,0.0,0.06508769107731516,0.0,0.09740461625792364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963621086451118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600997362902484,0.1583076946379544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27435361397051744,0.047440784966339314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108636084558111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786218925055484,0.0,0.09785938625234064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645072939635701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974033611133618,0.0,0.0,0.11393224398238153,0.0,0.0,0.09269807541492306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351099582910926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44210873798631467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200029378933782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721942817469688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943510219342339,0.0,0.0,0.14951293536298338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487438450384463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592818063501261,0.10562277177920176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386787267008472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360612363309244,0.0,0.1413877501353898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253268268296805
mentalhealth,hennibupat,2019/03/19,"What is the thought process behind posting detailed suicidal thoughts and fresh self harm images on social media? This is a genuine question and am trying to understand it so I can know how concerned I should be. Recently I have come across a few friends who post very detailed suicide plans and thoughts on Instagram, on a public account with more than 5k followers.

​

For example a few days ago this person did a series of 5 posts:

Post 1: saying that they are feeling depressed again and suicidal

Post 2: has bought some rope...

Post 3: has tried out the rope on the neck

Post 4: trying out the rope on different parts of the house

Post 5: Gone out for a coffee

​

Today, posting about loneliness and again going out to meet friends

​

I am truly trying to understand the mentality behind such posts, and the truth / gravity behind them. ",10.605934065934072,8.95397761538462,9.137326007326012,69.24576923076926,58.10256410256411,11.991208791208795,42.798534798534796,10.608840637214634,4.631491941391941,692,32,113,12,7,212,99,156,0.136,0.775,0.08900000000000001,-0.9038,2,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,2,1,6,5,0,0,13,0,12,1,1,1,1,24,24,8,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,6,12,0,0,8,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,6,2,6,3,23,16,5,30,0,1,0,0,12,10,0,2,6,76,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702512444194587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24577542270792946,0.27562912340318035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513270138629727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048763229125482775,0.0,0.06512416337974129,0.0,0.0,0.07899803264503967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03823149865102583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683467474626505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0429718167918971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724563873790801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04155415992035817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619871238261773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187999839406034,0.0,0.0,0.06602113578175622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7241501526422143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470230055237793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465733669610045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06012938200457164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887939282533216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707650786912695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481204662121073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008150206389553,0.0,0.0,0.07167095917325794,0.0,0.0,0.20534126225409216,0.0,0.0,0.15742869185312558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238749165181449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27562912340318035,0.0
mentalhealth,shanklymrshankly,2019/03/19,"My parents isolate me because of my mental illnesses. Hi, I'm 18, still in school and I live with my parents which is why this effects me so much. Moving out right now isn't an option unfortunately.

I've struggled with depression/anxiety issues my whole life and I was recently diagnosed with BPD.
However, depression seems to effect me most. 
On days when I'm too depressed to go to school or to leave my house, my parents will avoid me for the whole day, won't speak to me or check up on me and will ignore me if I pass them in the kitchen/living room etc.
I've spoken to them multiple times about how hurtful and unhelpful this is. I've told them that I prefer talking about it, the isolation only enforces my feelings of loneliness and inadequacy but to no avail.

I'm completely at a loss for what to do, it absolutely breaks my heart. I've been open and honest with them about my illnesses and my feelings. It's okay that they don't understand them but I don't think it's that much to ask to not isolate me when things are bad for me? ",4.6263909774436085,5.427211095693785,5.64553998632946,81.17627990430623,69.62200956937801,9.225017088174985,30.23957621326043,9.424239791934726,2.5679470950102528,825,32,167,17,14,273,118,209,0.183,0.779,0.039,-0.9752,4,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,6,3,10,10,0,2,5,1,12,5,1,3,0,32,23,16,0,2,6,3,2,0,0,3,4,1,1,0,12,13,0,2,8,0,1,3,6,8,0,0,3,3,30,2,29,17,6,22,0,4,0,0,14,10,0,6,8,115,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332856231888933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262726837399834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127782250809382,0.08233772274092972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701165655978495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161884877258105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421859598859005,0.0,0.2326720463846589,0.13709371365557982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063931107895268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659140579844553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076763677496605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005919210037706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585322136821875,0.14459576317717193,0.0,0.0,0.14097850893173833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430201561993281,0.0,0.0,0.0954042882189254,0.0,0.0,0.11926972555580692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611929445112014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355856493209054,0.1985847169053056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272720128571744,0.0,0.0,0.4499394151254198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336582310793893,0.0,0.0,0.1153494684549516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733971128778608,0.0,0.12296310973928287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078674752798347,0.0,0.0,0.14120501289799814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856455101933456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897348379925523,0.08654772209280444,0.0,0.0,0.07876069439468186,0.0,0.0,0.12906565047343416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061315336805225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188011681514895,0.3016027778167263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,drew7777,2019/03/19,"Finding a therapist while working a full-time job? I am in college now, but will be starting a full week time job in a larger city later this year. I am worried about being able to fit in a new therapist and an appointment time during the week while I am working.
Does anyone have any recommendations for dealing with this?",5.843709677419355,6.663269983870968,6.442096774193548,76.48314516129034,66.90322580645162,8.780645161290323,33.24193548387097,8.841846274778883,2.839987096774194,257,11,46,4,4,84,43,62,0.049,0.888,0.063,0.2047,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,8,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,5,1,16,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,11,32,5,5,0.20905874464066884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216711528547665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461787351106828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21553038598585733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829487162570684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19107590518307527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4149170915247474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20191023830145208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797285547611885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48546663145830393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438076704117277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353886294433237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30439451195207706,0.21230930313555607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346269772884075
mentalhealth,PersonalBroccoli,2019/03/19,"How do I go about getting help when I don't always want it? Hey guys,

To preface this all, I am a 17yo male in Australia. I'm in a bit of a situation. I feel like I have two different mindsets of myself, I am either super confident, quirky and funny or I am a self-loathing, self-harming individual who is on the border of a crisis all the time. I spend most of the time in the first mindset, but I have these deep-running family and personal issues that I only ever seem to be in the mood to address when I'm in the 'down' phase. They seem to come and go like phases now I say it like that; spending long periods 'up' then rapidly fluctuate between 'up' and 'down' for about an hour, approx 3 days 'down' then back up again. A week later it happens all again. I have had bad experiences with therapy in the past because of this, and I don't really know how to go about getting help. I really feel I need it now, especially with the sh, and strain everything puts on my mind and body. I'm not in a great position with my parents and there's no way I can afford therapy myself. My parents would probably take me to someone with an 'if you insist; mindset, because of our financial situation.

In the past, I have struggled to benefit from therapy because of the fact that I'm always 'up', and talking about these things brings my mind to dark places and I struggle to go there, I'll often disassociate, from my past (often self-inflicted) trauma. How do I go about getting help when I have a hard time going to dark places unless I'm already there - considering it only lasts 2-3 days?

What do I do ladies and gents?
Maybe I'm just a hormonal teenager, but I want to talk to someone about it all.",4.881855742296917,5.112934779411766,6.307226890756304,78.67990196078433,68.85294117647058,9.417366946778714,30.896358543417364,9.362217197678863,2.613518207282913,1315,50,265,25,21,449,165,340,0.091,0.825,0.084,-0.3559,4,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,1,1,1,2,24,12,0,3,21,0,19,1,1,3,6,47,46,24,0,5,8,2,3,3,0,1,0,1,1,3,16,16,0,0,5,0,2,9,4,5,0,2,1,4,33,6,51,43,7,55,0,0,0,0,16,19,0,7,29,185,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801922246657642,0.0,0.14781695948820087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829998488859268,0.07416412531593125,0.16243840998218118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096972535389767,0.09866316800482736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651380000334265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456794763342365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280191887959588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803461717202391,0.0,0.0,0.07982906367158056,0.08688667640452316,0.0837351311718582,0.0,0.08982391884111447,0.06345570837257923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555344069017496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922023788236754,0.0,0.3028835217162252,0.0,0.0,0.09792850354431426,0.0,0.08794948237398445,0.07854655326684386,0.0,0.07956863778264005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861007210479224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747350656480367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270892316103473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048815212846708415,0.07240321553384872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13018440020372793,0.0,0.0,0.0786062281197854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923540069580482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937334363660554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586168890554109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510893657070958,0.0,0.0,0.19725653685357594,0.0,0.2543769745060964,0.0,0.07755747683853283,0.18560383775919173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576703112002234,0.0,0.0,0.08929240713498368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138055439250824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063621515919949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16172362126458315,0.2779876448495792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968324454489975,0.0,0.0,0.15052015886017514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571574901607246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667844095628193,0.1427863394886257,0.0,0.0,0.3047331149818603,0.0,0.05901055602983848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538153765582452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676790211073987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478110417338422,0.07050416237213522,0.07124905855392427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309784712642501,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pearly123,2019/03/19,"Help me please So, This is a long winded message. I’ve suffered from depression, low moods since I was 14 years old. I am now 24.

My moods have increasingly become worse. In many senses, such as, I hear things. The toilet flushing, the wind blowing, creaking of floor boards. I see things, flashing by, or think I can see something or someone but there isn’t anything there. I am incredibly paranoid about everything. From texting to doing a particular task during the day.

I become obsessive about things, could be, a certain type of food, or a person where I suffer from major withdrawal symptoms.

I have certain things that I shouldn’t do. I can’t pinpoint that but I am suspicious of everything.

I sometimes suffer from anxiety, I can’t drive because I’m stressed about finding a car park inn spot, or making sure I’ve got everything I need for the day together.

I think and consider suicide A LOT. I don’t necessarily want to die, I just don’t want to live?

I’m very much confused, lost, incredibly sad, searching for ‘something’?

I am with my partner, who, if I wasn’t with them I probably would have committed suicide already. He is my world, and I am beyond grateful for having him. I always thought when I met someone good for me, I would feel ‘better’? But I don’t...

My nan passed away nearly a year ago. She was my absolute world, I cared for her for a long time. After she passed, I would wake up during the night, screaming and crying. My boyfriend has woken me up before, because I’m screaming and so distressed.

I know I need help and I am okay with knowing that fact. But, there isn’t help available, or the help I need. I’ve seen a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I told them what I was experiencing, and was told I need ‘acceptance and commitment therapy’. I can’t begin to explain the devastation when that was offering to me. The psychologist said that the therapy was group therapy. I am no genius.. but for someone that suffers the way I do, the last thing I need is to go to group therapy.

can anyone help me? Please .. I understand, that, I can’t get a ‘diagnosis’. But just some advice would be amazing.

I struggle so much to ‘pretend’ to be okay. And put a face on, for work. It’s so tiring and draining and soul destroying. I need help!",2.420409737527549,4.948418195852536,3.859150470847524,84.19878781807253,80.17511520737327,6.815387697856143,26.94630334602284,7.967736418589885,1.928509477058705,1763,76,334,33,46,580,209,434,0.201,0.664,0.135,-0.99,0,0,2,0,0,3,76.0,0,0,2,3,18,28,1,5,23,2,45,5,2,1,6,62,80,30,3,15,14,0,1,0,1,5,2,4,0,2,16,14,1,0,10,2,0,7,12,16,0,0,16,9,60,10,40,55,6,36,1,8,3,0,26,12,0,9,16,226,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531913128045943,0.0683244536853301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505681406815971,0.0,0.06413456117546643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058963990683183025,0.0,0.0,0.05389430167574215,0.0,0.06342812272556826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241674305369124,0.0,0.0,0.09397132037098246,0.17025183828493995,0.06558717998467059,0.0,0.0,0.0681686858657465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858553378241656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154002229984381,0.0,0.08466589120328341,0.09941707733245536,0.0,0.06638664115407981,0.0,0.07999415956761631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20781655847956454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0389726431789813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044733605818147,0.0,0.09320228325618422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04026975386425991,0.0,0.04380485572563937,0.06464885595969211,0.061645828162682575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687181784428838,0.0,0.3099800898522376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847194331543679,0.06282835842428165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806074553475883,0.13642212540634652,0.0,0.0,0.08413907380020752,0.06552843877883098,0.0,0.0,0.05144975486024552,0.07814437343662009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332149731542727,0.34291143837814914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723319070680142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808797526650596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730100199784925,0.0,0.1692156517590992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310246046496632,0.0,0.0,0.07748406363831868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331824632493332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284139763851926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375921166906247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959222616264692,0.11867587755017232,0.07623150738015305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829188728703233,0.08057802100488759,0.0,0.16862030413461146,0.0,0.0726445258111693,0.08011291831023606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525788411589242,0.0,0.25603395772702675,0.0987761556844564,0.0,0.061190836271187876,0.04494444465564849,0.08858911871368133,0.0,0.14730149420927954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024027896119419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359691711725772,0.09092448064022376,0.06118044276430491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611325629259275,0.0,0.07854844305537204,0.21901425928831691,0.0,0.0,0.09927062130043668
mentalhealth,ow_ow_ow_ow_ow,2019/03/19,"Does not seem worth it Am 26. No family/bad family. Wrecked my head. No contact.

No friends. Removed from school at 8. No education. No social connections. 

House burned down in 2016. No insurance (not my house). Homeless a while. 

Car died in 2017. All savings gone for new car.

Apartment burned down in 2018. Feel cursed. Fire. 

Accelerator pedal stuck to the floor while driving recently. Did not die. Scared of car now. 3 previous car crashes. Not my fault. One car fire. Low key daily commute trauma.

Can't get enough sleep. 12 hours? Still tired.

Can't communicate with bosses adequately. Blatant autism as child. Never diagnosed (no school). 

No insurance. 

No paid time off. 

No support system. 

Getting fatter and hate myself for it. Feel trapped and unable to fix it. Desk job. 

Hypervigilance from electric beeps (""smoke alarm""), smoke smells. Hallucinate smells of fires. Tired. 

Broke glasses accidentally running into a door yesterday. Contacts were ruined in last fire. No spare. No insurance. Glued them back. Glue coming undone today. Prescription not even right. 

Nightmares/flashes of fires, car crashes, violent altercations, animals on fire. 

No support system. No safety net. State did not expand Medicaid. Make ""too much"" for help.",2.784194373401533,4.6045266521739165,3.037385620915032,80.51529411764706,115.81159420289856,5.874737141233305,24.34867860187553,6.881172211772175,2.1537802216538795,975,42,148,22,51,299,147,207,0.298,0.619,0.084,-0.993,1,1,2,0,0,0,66.0,0,0,1,0,5,13,2,2,3,0,6,5,2,2,3,20,19,5,2,0,6,0,8,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,3,5,0,0,3,0,2,11,23,9,0,1,6,10,5,4,22,13,3,41,0,3,0,0,7,14,0,1,13,73,8,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027924937363652,0.11974767027597415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354152705680108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455658023342304,0.2976895647382629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255056713762998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481886752217602,0.0,0.09472594437777863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520130973525007,0.0,0.1450324529610692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080404945690532,0.0,0.14985950930374567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159514657963765,0.1471877903532585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612976593585036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123740524659412,0.3309692123715522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231979650554974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690445136019388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957323335417424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542840687888927,0.0,0.11061246205049756,0.13851357109368814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718344889633254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160753638525442,0.0,0.0,0.12247781081090164,0.0,0.0,0.14358599483502116,0.2902924505489036,0.0,0.13056195830889009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352113232699024,0.14619613926163327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145334469844805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254970902188064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362793133437273,0.32967477042034177,0.13594307549713766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bitvhmobile65,2019/03/19,"Missing school because of mental health How many times do you miss school because of mental health , and what do u tell your parents/school ?",6.109200000000001,8.40914012,3.916999999999998,89.24350000000004,67.8,5.0,28.5,3.1291,0.8050000000000006,113,4,19,0,2,31,18,25,0.153,0.847,0.0,-0.4215,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,9,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634360947070095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4593577976563744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190673545949894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4355079804344816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6560419573479982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888601247231148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599577117909105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SiriasLee,2019/03/19,"I think my mom needs help and Idk how to achieve that. (Not sure if this is the right /r) I'm (21F) starting to realize that my mom might need help as she fell deep in a world of her own made of paranoias, fear and conspiracy theories. 

TL;DR: After a whole life of constant suffering my mom broke down, she got paranoid and maniacal over many things. I don't know how to help her.

I might be the only one who could help her because we come from a difficult situation: a toxic family, a long story of bad blood with her relatives, an abusive and violent ex partner (my father) who ruined we life on all fronts, and a broken economical situation, which in the end broke her in too many pieces. She's very proud and intelligent so it's not easy to ""fool"" her into getting help and I'm the only one she sort of trusts (as well our lawyer, but can't exactly ask him to help)

She's accused my aunt and grandma of awful things (they are not very pleasant and nice people, especially my grandmother, but they are not the monsters she describes) and now sees them as THE enemy we must take down, she believes that everyone we were close with has some sort of plan to destroy us or eventually are threatened to not be our friends, she thinks that there are microphones and cameras everywhere, that everything that happens is set as trap to destroy us and mostly that there's a huge plan to take them down to which we must strictly abide.

Lately she's starting to become violent, which happens when we argue and I try to bring her to her senses: a while ago I got admitted to a course that could improve my CV (I'm the working one between the two bc her physical health is a mess), she started believing that it was all set by my grandmother and aunt to prove they were helping us, and consequently that that would mess up the plan to put them in jail. She made me forfait It.
We argued and after holding me a bit too strongly and harshly she even put her hands to my neck saying ""I'd rather kill you myself than letting them do it"". She seemed to realize herself what she did and fell on the floor crying and whispering I'm sorry (she spent a whole month begging me everyday to forgive her).

What is making me endure everything is the image of her helping me and hugging me when I'd return after weekends with my father, or when she stood against everything and everyone for me when my father abused me.
She's a broken woman, broken from life constantly hitting her on all sides never stopping.

.... How do I help her ? I can't stand seeing her wasting away in her own world, losing everything and everyone.",6.698332390381893,6.415771958415843,6.9825424328147125,77.12478960396041,65.05940594059406,10.144978783592645,33.679278642149924,9.696096459569628,3.055442715700141,2049,79,391,37,28,665,241,505,0.195,0.716,0.08800000000000001,-0.9964,0,0,0,0,1,0,59.0,12,1,7,8,16,29,8,1,25,1,29,8,3,6,9,82,61,40,1,9,11,9,1,0,2,5,4,2,0,2,25,35,0,2,9,1,1,7,9,19,1,4,10,5,82,10,59,40,11,57,0,5,2,1,84,23,0,10,24,284,107,4,0.0,0.17145161189661354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413606935163955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763976115113499,0.0,0.06797749567236754,0.0,0.060411262211164614,0.044105373664133016,0.0799075815357123,0.0,0.1630328387078704,0.0,0.0,0.07899012140650492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062325217415887486,0.0,0.15637456009833545,0.0,0.1155350661507498,0.0,0.07947575395100531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408278328878471,0.0,0.0,0.047788101854657365,0.0,0.0,0.20740756066012087,0.26010281801299245,0.0,0.06820743781390973,0.08141660609833165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055899312866573465,0.0,0.03780116177008185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573370578241345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796204108045256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690725651585709,0.0,0.0,0.4364668168139159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800472509454105,0.0,0.03976300685289467,0.0,0.08161669968309529,0.0,0.0,0.07398526822260287,0.1533139965856008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402962939488621,0.0,0.08094386926892627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692324941650444,0.04829581310724853,0.14670802864385232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535090024696979,0.0,0.25421489708946776,0.05775102443328532,0.0,0.0,0.1072968295976952,0.05580265931984322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708365015364136,0.11005457638009028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05016006936219368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454683648709821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178858533861024,0.0,0.05753756142081805,0.0,0.0,0.11531104858124905,0.06586694070977687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265433987106914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099262894237783,0.1536342805898861,0.0,0.0,0.06048987653846946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819131502902134,0.0,0.1088000555667748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613548756515608,0.0927210395335638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912255496104572,0.0,0.07067781711973596,0.0,0.2610932173215348,0.0,0.0,0.119396674741614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505352948084694,0.0,0.0,0.16155782271999472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05267343539551442,0.0,0.0,0.05139709490911532,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Critkip,2019/03/19,"Does anyone else feel this way? I've been dealing with this issue for years and don't know what to think. Sometimes when I get sick of the same surroundings or of being indoors OR or enclosed places outdoors (surrounded by trees) I feel the need to escape to a wide open field or space to feel better. Sometimes sports fields work but sometimes they arent big enough and I go to this regional airport nearby with miles of grassy fields. This is the best, the bigger the space, the more exhilarated I feel. I get this rush inside that makes my heart beat fast and my breathing increase. It also helps when the sun is out, I love open skies and feel numb when the sky is cloudy. Does anyone know the reason for this?",4.194683794466407,5.999307862318844,3.753451910408433,90.49701581027672,71.82608695652173,6.177602108036891,22.69038208168643,6.574015621080383,0.4216579710144925,567,14,113,4,11,169,87,138,0.035,0.784,0.181,0.9758,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,4,4,4,0,0,10,0,7,5,2,2,0,27,21,13,0,1,5,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,9,9,0,1,9,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,5,9,3,14,19,5,24,0,0,0,1,4,15,0,4,5,66,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951545980903809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22648558658599036,0.1659421707597224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16996191822715218,0.14323615229296965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696862871385054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834560532026928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529273038583678,0.0,0.0,0.1673429437373933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4094469023972434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922974307180802,0.0,0.09204283324819136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191761010911434,0.1085551104928807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16903907957974704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801260909403355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461708289469553,0.0,0.10810630759571534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008767756715305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920864158235094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665168483355534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4805332974496824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377430853219767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285524446576234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790526429993745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429379450566703
mentalhealth,batman4ever73,2019/03/19,"Hello all I suffer from bi polar and other mental health issues and I find the day to day a struggle, I am reaching out to anyone in the same boat, if it’s all too much I am here for you",5.21857142857143,2.9497670476190483,6.928571428571432,82.7914285714286,69.0,8.4,25.761904761904763,3.1291,0.684533333333333,144,2,33,0,2,51,33,42,0.14300000000000002,0.813,0.044,-0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,8,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,6,2,4,4,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,27,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494666776892293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4601831217132901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260875887070147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792371211293159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723823508423932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595471625200642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26227204516106456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729806411780627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wunder___kind,2019/03/19,"I can’t deal with animals in pain So this is kinda hard to explain and post. I don’t consider myself a reeeally strong person but I do okay and I’m fairly stable. Yet I have a specially hard time with animals suffering or in pain. I don’t know when it started but I’m sure it’s not always been this way. Any time I see or hear an animal suffer I get really stressed out and can’t seem to think straight.

I have three dogs and two cats and I care for them with my mom and our cleaning lady. They are kinda spoiled but usually don’t give us too much trouble. Recently the oldest dog had a very painful swollen prostate and had to be taken for emergency surgery. For hours, before we knew what condition he had and the treatment he needed, he was in intermittent pain and howled awfully every 20 seconds. We took him to the nearest 24h vet but it still took a while. 

It was a nightmare and I haven’t recovered since. I  had no way of helping him and felt helpless and desperate as he was in so much pain. Now I flinch every time I hear him make any kind of moan and feel very uncomfortable at home because I’m anticipating him or any pet really, being in pain again. It’s making me terribly anxious.

TLDR: my dog had a sudden emergency health issue and his pain yelps and the whole situation have left me with severe anxiety.

Anyone ever felt the same? Or has any advice to get over it?",2.403986765922248,4.497718272401436,4.032275985663084,85.26584987593054,77.74551971326164,7.446429556106975,24.709263854425146,8.384062270229773,1.6795071960297774,1094,39,220,22,26,365,160,279,0.258,0.68,0.061,-0.9965,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,4,0,2,1,9,19,0,1,12,2,24,10,1,2,2,47,49,28,0,1,9,1,5,0,0,0,9,2,3,1,9,22,0,0,8,0,0,2,8,13,0,3,15,8,29,6,23,32,4,32,0,3,1,1,23,11,0,7,16,139,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508838172016453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245311954585841,0.0,0.0,0.23685510720076824,0.0,0.06661190140806278,0.09836961766886132,0.0,0.06088464956468465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053079924333570026,0.0,0.07409414994052947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877845220044282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977018450292464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876404446220835,0.14672836781867907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04402758081620693,0.0,0.16721071981896693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098586588367023,0.083529979352216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560036424866905,0.0,0.0,0.09255632630279403,0.19627901362630587,0.0,0.058364330909024785,0.0,0.08734301618705592,0.0,0.08575103222497339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088335622666384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067489279612087,0.047853973783318224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460690814921334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624606674382125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198082743636652,0.0,0.0,0.12801983582061385,0.06456478114943515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6485752840962277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603026284011624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339348572114684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115645553464874,0.0,0.08597575404808612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938725630267972,0.07926952973083773,0.0,0.09836961766886132,0.0,0.07202908541885222,0.09787560262644524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061631915503493936,0.0,0.06953796188804104,0.0,0.0997437660333424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206686716930775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05579394701482647,0.0,0.0,0.15232186025170388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934863744622658,0.0,0.0,0.08505932209862006,0.0,0.10474013382112027,0.0,0.0959004719393071,0.14369148097975468,0.0,0.13823167578377038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721578452975804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,superpotatochip87,2019/03/19,"I finally admitted something to my therapist I work in the field of veterinary medicine.  I used to work in an ER. For years I've had flashbacks of certain cases that still haunt me for various unpleasant reasons.  I've never told a soul about them because it's too painful to talk about. I simply push them deeper and deeper down inside.  I dont know how to deal with the memories or how to make them go away. When they do come on I break down.  They are completely random.  Therapist said it's akin to a form of trauma which makes me feel rediculous. I feel like I haven't gone through anything significant enough to warrant being affected by trauma.  
Does anyone else experience anything like this? If so, how do you cope? ",3.945,6.12576821014493,4.6283333333333365,82.36250000000003,73.42028985507247,8.078260869565218,28.89130434782609,8.841846274778883,2.474321739130435,575,24,106,12,12,184,97,138,0.118,0.807,0.075,-0.7882,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,5,2,10,6,0,0,5,0,7,1,0,8,2,20,19,8,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,4,3,3,1,0,4,3,17,3,23,14,3,16,1,0,0,0,11,6,0,3,7,71,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901878216816457,0.1744061100918239,0.2801460520791158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992326273548546,0.0,0.0,0.10376191695162876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14662576226530302,0.17846793348124973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548492289831366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895691491418644,0.0,0.19949154445939568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219338413055704,0.0,0.0,0.1758783299925209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650362624723072,0.0,0.0,0.1721323548060578,0.1216021372590007,0.0,0.1864629902640775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673751063490248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354610270930136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631759598999538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272406163886975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128084904389448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811215165760622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750100993014312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191411924772672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310403695713646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359344859097532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681294006883365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952671174483707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264840537149405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470117218041455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478381283281567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961333652063074
mentalhealth,RazmosisJones,2019/03/19,"Help or advice? Hey so im a broke college student looking for free or extremely cheap DISCRETE mental healthcare ( my family has an extremely negative opinion on psychology and thinks you have to be babbling to yourself in a straight jacket before you get to a therapist so insurance is off the table). Regardless i feel as if my mind is imploding on its self, i have no energy, no job, im doing bad in school, my friends love me but i cant get this gnawing feeling that they hate me out of my brain, and i just generally have no drive or desire. (I have NOT contemplated suicide though) any advice or a pointer in the right direction would be much appreciated.
-thanks in advance",3.6977906976744217,6.105800891472871,5.342034883720931,75.90979651162795,74.96899224806202,8.641085271317829,32.45542635658914,9.2995712137729,3.4548031007751936,541,28,94,14,12,183,92,129,0.121,0.6759999999999999,0.204,0.9062,1,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,2,1,1,4,7,1,0,7,0,12,2,1,0,0,20,21,12,1,4,8,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,0,2,2,6,3,0,0,0,3,14,5,14,18,1,12,0,1,1,1,8,10,0,6,0,68,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578025670572464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12449902628270698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528621246362481,0.0,0.0,0.15578552862736655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20437511663264465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17258924045957308,0.0,0.18513904153410374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144527721706165,0.0,0.19130094920696186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807511987035884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271303673694595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3955103859146414,0.0,0.1816762398925913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373905038204655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16523465566012133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184499131271593,0.0,0.18485615716895248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458307986602489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634724532179256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528427590491334,0.0,0.0,0.1909898342957347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002571479903345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855323013657197,0.0,0.21256717064258734,0.0,0.11730871515346936,0.1798727839795464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005305369180428,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gemma_Gilbert,2019/03/19,Tried and tested tips for coping with mental health problems at work? After some advice/coping mechanisms ,7.201176470588237,11.155215294117653,5.772058823529411,68.81926470588239,72.52941176470588,5.752941176470588,20.264705882352946,7.1686216300943375,1.479141176470589,88,2,9,1,2,26,16,17,0.153,0.847,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,6,0,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5280551337076432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5006385567250304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4753524704029253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33728179242316025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36166259506194137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Majula21,2019/03/19,"Help I have vented on so many different sub Reddit’s, I can’t pick one that will help.. I can’t work, I can’t sleep properly, hell I can’t be awake properly. I can’t hold down a job, anywhere longer then 3 months since I was 16 and I’m now 23. I’ve had at least 14 different jobs, what can I do to help? I have manic depression, anxiety, ptsd, panic attacks, manic episodes of bipolar, all are clinical. I’m trying to support my fiancée and an apartment, our phones, and everything in between. Can I do anything for help? I tried a welfare application but I can’t figure out how to fill one out on my own. I sit and go through link after link for 30 minutes, find an application get an hour in and can’t handle the anxiety anymore. I’m lost, suicidal, and cornered. I’m not sure where to go or where to turn. I’ve got hospital bills piling up from suicide attempts, credit cards maxed out, and I don’t know how to get though the end of the month. Anybody know? Anybody relate? I feel alone out here, and my family says I am alone, psychotic, selfish, entitled, my family thinks I’m all these things and slap my hands when I reach out for help.",2.3657725321888385,4.093796596566527,4.045345493562234,86.8093916309013,76.59656652360516,7.578454935622318,26.242274678111592,8.395991825355821,1.7528800000000002,889,34,187,17,20,298,137,233,0.182,0.733,0.084,-0.9782,4,2,0,0,0,1,38.0,1,0,0,3,9,9,2,1,8,0,20,4,2,3,3,32,37,17,2,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,14,0,1,8,0,2,3,9,6,0,2,4,3,23,3,27,31,4,28,1,2,0,0,8,16,1,1,8,110,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256320709174544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932600257992688,0.0,0.12271973394913012,0.0,0.0,0.10182988623771863,0.0,0.0,0.14077544481209073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657960264208076,0.0,0.0,0.2585700450298176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959950544126723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121216477770017,0.0,0.2333076395303449,0.0,0.06256814250154542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130987944825807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293011452525778,0.0,0.14065191538148492,0.0,0.0989685237256039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41471138155051385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186185805447985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455915245656212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136011754242818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508002357711876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545590686323646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19754084925092047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677028211325804,0.0,0.0,0.14518566421094395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464886101289648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840534309504374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023614288406182,0.0,0.1238322937532985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707093580821907,0.14042200837708654,0.11662624528791947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220930296531148,0.07928947179996541,0.12157679857177875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802665094867414,0.13459677208618612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008632542106304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Guille90,2019/03/19,"Asian Countries Recognising Internet Gaming Disorder As A Medical Condition Internet gaming is a worldwide phenomenon that has grown in leaps and bounds over the last several decades. Because of these adverse effects, governments all across Asia have taken steps to ensure that internet gaming is regulated and controlled [https://www.theedgerehab.com/blog/asian-countries-recognising-internet-gaming-disorder-as-a-medical-condition/](https://www.theedgerehab.com/blog/asian-countries-recognising-internet-gaming-disorder-as-a-medical-condition/)",33.34393333333334,40.39929006000001,18.994000000000003,-11.429666666666634,8.400000000000006,16.26666666666667,54.66666666666667,14.554592549557764,9.718466666666666,493,19,27,12,3,119,42,50,0.098,0.852,0.049,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,2,1,6,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,1,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,19,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509940516116429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4618035722533644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.471891909767301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33562461769747465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4147866650195019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4651511697536582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnAlternate-account,2019/03/19,"Someone tell me what is wrong with me? Im 19 year old male, Im living a pretty average and happy life, got a lot friends and a lovely girlfriend, I would definitely not consider myself depressed but I feel like I have a serious mental problem? I always purposely want to make myself feel sad, and its runing my life, I trained myself to be overly sensitive so I cry over anything, im very happy in my relationship but part of me deep down wants her to break up with me just so that i can feel miserable. I sometimes go out on a drive, put on sad music and just think of everything bad that has ever happened to me, usually resulting me in crying and driving recklessly (nearly suicidal). I  failed university and got kicked out and never told anyone i was struggling because deep down i wanted to feel my parents being dissapointed. I dont want to deny that whenever something wrong happens in my life, for example when my kitten died (whom i loved ALOT) a part of me deep down feels ""satisfied"" i guess, even though that thing absolutely breaks my heart and just remembering it makes me so upset. How do I deal with this? Is this an actual mental illness? I haven't talked to anyone about this yet",4.768575447570335,6.273086604347824,6.001253196930946,76.13395140664964,69.91304347826087,9.063938618925832,29.181585677749357,9.478462496947786,2.766987212276215,949,36,170,21,17,318,140,230,0.225,0.657,0.118,-0.9887,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,13,18,0,3,8,0,12,7,1,4,2,41,33,16,2,6,6,1,5,1,2,1,4,0,0,1,12,13,0,0,7,0,0,4,4,12,0,0,4,5,34,6,29,26,4,30,0,5,0,2,13,17,0,3,8,122,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.098636461277749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410406715450447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413506192076561,0.0,0.08317766576121814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439497873076006,0.06161553220466924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22205642851364316,0.0,0.10420583231240327,0.08705737473605023,0.0,0.10490185081076947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846135888109335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676033064016745,0.09142983112848743,0.0,0.0,0.09084138863581144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25553755565161906,0.07220934832893866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809175222905218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057444324247623725,0.0,0.16168084030089547,0.0,0.11134758663205517,0.0,0.1787639148737006,0.21519645163602824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197765978607968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275411487949354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21418078363835866,0.04938106143847541,0.0,0.08925274310960257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593195485514374,0.18245167379694574,0.0,0.13493921400694492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20372345728625973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795672651162819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060631900321475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223392146367617,0.21891283768249825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283153196128612,0.0,0.09671693020763164,0.0,0.10161018914297824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851874975921688,0.11450040930463448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564211841939122,0.07781392584718852,0.09996762585540317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056675085252558,0.0,0.11056170902729492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124177311369897,0.08834565445556843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715099247531668,0.06476598793761758,0.09930752836466013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965832971636139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132191108799824,0.0833990174722732,0.2384710672559835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180212054692016,0.22102341742162315,0.0,0.06509020134619008
mentalhealth,disenchanted77,2019/03/19,"Can’t get out of my own head Hi everyone,
This is my first time actually speaking about this so please excuse me if I ramble. The last year or so I have been feeling really sad and just feel like I am useless. I have things I should be happy about but I just get into my own head and doubt everything. I feel like I’m not good enough and a basically feel like a loser. I have tried going to a therapist idk if it was the person or if it’s just me but I feel no resolve. I feel like I’m sinking and when I should be happy I’m not. Sorry for my grammatical errors I’m sure there are plenty. Thanks for letting me rant. ",-0.7016457811194671,1.4596267593984962,2.108208020050128,93.10821010860485,93.4360902255639,5.060818713450293,16.411445279866335,6.691623216298621,-0.13085597326649934,481,12,109,7,18,167,78,133,0.16899999999999998,0.6,0.231,0.8148,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,9,14,0,1,5,0,14,2,2,0,1,29,28,14,0,5,12,0,6,4,0,2,0,1,0,1,5,6,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,2,7,18,10,8,21,3,8,0,3,0,0,4,2,0,6,9,75,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.14295427569874078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136456504554507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997861553185434,0.13165684116883192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4444221016300132,0.4186133588054884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460533649283352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307120743035982,0.0,0.08325432258461557,0.12286986498723355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311885204295212,0.0,0.0,0.3006844596389828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940987666934375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979717300456308,0.0,0.2862727952615524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791046192893304,0.0,0.1608033427407481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384601128680907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398490052468614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806621858931478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348694115750548,0.0,0.17008756937799901,0.0973222413639651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542019444565004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945790615756517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433552732927232
mentalhealth,can-i-get-a-HELLYAH,2019/03/19,"[real rant] my job is killing me So, before anyone comments about “Change your job” etc., I AM TRYING IT’S JUST COMPLICATED because of benefits and location and a lot of other things. 

I work one of those retail, customer service, in shifts type jobs. And they are the absolute worst thing. I thought I could handle this, take it in stride, because I’m doing a lot better than I used to, but I just can’t. 

We lost an employee this weekend because of a rude comment from a customer that was the last straw for her, and it affected all of my shifts. I’ve been working down a person for the last 3 nights and something in me just snapped yesterday. 

I’ve NEVER liked working evening shifts. I’d much rather wake up at 4 am five days a week than deal with work being the end of my day rather than the beginning. But throw in there the fact that my old job used putting me on night side as a way to ostracize me from everyone.... and now I’m fraying at the seams. Cause it reminds me of everything I went through. It’s a long story, but the best description I can give is just imagine what it feels like to turn around every five seconds and hear a new unpleasant thing someone has decided to accuse you of while you have no idea where it’s coming from or why. It’s like being bullied. Then imagine it’s your ex bullying you and turning everyone against you because you saw who he really was. And dared to call him out on it. And even though this situation is long gone the memory of it still hurts and creeps up on you once in a while. You know the best revenge is a life well lived but YOU DONT KNOW how much you just want to beat the living shit out of that man like the way he beat the shit out of your friend Sam. Because all Sam did was take you home, and sleep in your bed. And at that time you were single or at least you thought you were. You didn’t know he “owned” you. You didn’t know he even knew where your room was. But now, you know. You know you can’t see, can’t talk, can’t love anyone else. Because... he would just hurt them like he hurt Sam. 
So months later when he breaks it off and blames it on you because “you’ve gone crazy” you don’t even know what he’s talking about because you don’t have the control. He has the control. And he’s controlled you into something you’re not and your every move to fight it has made you look insane to onlookers because, it’s like, if you were you but the person he made you was an image projected on a screen  placed in front of you, every time people saw you try to punch through that screen, they only saw something that didn’t make sense, a picture distorted. 
So you didn’t understand, when he broke up with you he was really breaking up with that little bit of you still fighting, trying, gasping for truth. 

And the minute you were free of him, you saw it all. And you tried to tell everyone else and protect your space. But it was too late. He had projected a different image on the screen and made you completely unrecognizable and you couldn’t even see who he was trying to tell everyone you were because you were still stuck behind the screen. You. Were. Still. Stuck. 

So you left that place. You didn’t even get to say goodbye because he deleted you from the group message before you could leave yourself. So you never got to tear down that screen. And you still cared what these people thought and knew about you, because at one point you actually cared about them. Why couldn’t you let it go?

So anyways now I’m working PM shift again and I feel like it’s slowly killing me. Anyone else?
",3.3570024077046554,4.879501064606743,3.7042455858748013,91.15050561797753,73.46629213483146,6.827287319422151,24.79293739967897,7.379519244027581,0.927261155698234,2786,86,595,31,56,865,292,712,0.131,0.7829999999999999,0.086,-0.9888,6,0,3,0,3,0,75.0,1,56,4,14,44,31,7,0,36,0,52,6,4,12,7,100,104,48,2,9,19,1,2,7,1,1,1,2,3,3,42,34,0,4,19,1,2,9,18,13,1,5,42,16,83,19,79,54,15,89,0,5,12,1,103,40,2,5,43,391,125,13,0.0,0.0,0.050951453069298484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952368952990577,0.1069948810086482,0.0,0.04647981594373225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819359522997313,0.0,0.08885725966605408,0.0,0.10958670200263304,0.046177336961903605,0.05700206258955764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053314365765818716,0.0,0.10646737949293958,0.05363618303102584,0.05523345178990248,0.044976079043671915,0.054743366779501465,0.0,0.17568084384018998,0.08337418597094826,0.0,0.0,0.06734493736302491,0.05382835622683005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545505051213087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611921625063098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084946571472653,0.0,0.04624440067817832,0.0,0.058230264751333985,0.2069134968614702,0.0,0.131972774066225,0.19956349889126052,0.046924845943064813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052799987370041004,0.07460063296850072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04033891927239503,0.0,0.027278653973542996,0.05008657951509898,0.02967332518913698,0.0,0.04175876567387645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058846802665217926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052372967876538765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676823170144795,0.05894107688074994,0.0,0.0,0.2072497101050048,0.0,0.11552984923343995,0.0,0.2008607349264992,0.08511961880665009,0.05889749427965563,0.055285048110045545,0.056728571758799674,0.05339038369401365,0.03687893234249399,0.17855727600738094,0.05233021529379591,0.09220843677774827,0.09241208590047607,0.04384499266708625,0.0,0.056995647095009636,0.08877767730587931,0.0471234357683568,0.14821298209631165,0.034851965189235036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04167517976603729,0.05549317228977415,0.07676376477122862,0.0,0.0805383413159691,0.05042674694531414,0.0,0.09799499002679543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054787789214029034,0.055604155367935976,0.07076050593560278,0.03970963545429202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239455674630363,0.09117913915045957,0.1091010102426174,0.0,0.04935728687475965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052487555985029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942877150499214,0.06689678383453664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041521137313885625,0.0,0.0,0.08321252697751379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071898884164498,0.0,0.058688559383770836,0.05224978147637892,0.0,0.04423912132364057,0.1205862174975032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20848315086593466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851396436331999,0.08393217551495867,0.09127130897760202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406214691832444,0.0,0.05129809814092996,0.12435166511967966,0.06089056108597703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724285661231576,0.11358348805102182,0.0,0.054354610954441836,0.0,0.09018893703339603,0.0,0.0,0.03079603433223464,0.08288702899656017,0.04188137681266009,0.0,0.046944925430048745,0.04840111618950108,0.09422655240835398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19005506054171448,0.0,0.0,0.03708995971602037,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ghosty2508,2019/03/19,"I have a complete lack of motivation towards anything. I want it back. Since 2015, I’ve resorted to video gaming as some sort of escapism, much to my own demise. In 2018 I stopped using that but, my sleep pattern got worse, I stayed up longer, and I never did any study or, anything of any use. I have Lego sets I love building, waiting to be opened, I love doing graphic design and CAD but I haven’t made anything in years. And I cannot study. I don’t actually mind the subjects I’m doing but for some reason I can not sit down and get to work on them. 


I’m sick of disappointing my mum and myself. I used to be an A* Student and now all I get is C’a at best.


For reference, I’m a child of domestic abuse, I have triggers for PTSD that send me into some thoughtless mode of my actions. My mum shouts at me, I immaturely run upstairs. Sometimes I get angry and argue back but its not in a resound argued way.

I don’t have therapy or counselling, it didn’t work for me and I’m not wealthy. 

I hope someone answers, I posted similar things in r/advice and r/needadvice and it got zero replies. ",2.2954511278195504,3.948996571428573,3.915930451127821,87.98564849624061,76.58928571428572,6.322932330827067,26.968045112781954,7.0608816371341465,1.243833928571429,848,34,178,9,19,283,127,224,0.16699999999999998,0.735,0.098,-0.9452,0,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,1,4,3,7,2,0,6,0,16,4,1,7,2,42,34,17,0,3,9,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,7,12,0,2,4,2,0,3,9,3,0,1,5,1,30,4,27,27,8,26,0,1,0,2,10,12,0,7,6,118,37,4,0.0,0.16806123206154305,0.1384186951564714,0.0,0.0,0.138607726756239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929167491260656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501750917972005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21813763496977653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148855895013186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872010397396598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223219630364922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268902458213017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088249910862358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25603840901158226,0.13421565268621544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322139683242172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427121813856907,0.0,0.10939837279871777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358467660144458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580734155427626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583863698594052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733432448007265,0.0,0.14194583546684153,0.0,0.12018345070863097,0.0,0.14028674741108904,0.0,0.0,0.15118618925549895,0.0,0.1185874319389423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16221028722906378,0.0,0.0942344507952474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675214610091509,0.0,0.0,0.08366291109429404,0.11258868695556158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652736597944096,0.0,0.1445505404411323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134249770418404
mentalhealth,secondacct287,2019/03/19,"Don’t want to live anymore. I’m only 18 but I feel like a happy ending to me would be to get into a car crash or get really sick and die. I really don’t want to kill my self my family would hurt so much and so would my friends but in all honesty i don’t care about myself and i don’t want a future so how can i fix that? how do you fix not caring i have no motivation and little tasks are starting to overwhelm me again and it makes living too hard and i know that i’m starting to piss my family off with my laziness. I’m not sure what the point of this post is, i guess i just wanted to get my feelings out there. sorry if i’ve wasted your time.",-1.0633946360153246,0.9232926413793124,1.7930459770114953,96.55516283524908,91.55172413793105,4.601532567049809,14.262452107279696,6.139981653823899,-0.7845938697318009,503,9,121,5,18,175,89,145,0.248,0.578,0.174,-0.9455,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,2,0,1,10,10,2,1,4,0,13,2,1,4,2,33,32,15,2,8,7,0,3,1,1,3,1,0,0,1,5,9,0,0,4,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,0,3,20,6,14,28,2,14,0,2,0,0,4,6,1,3,7,80,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618080233698347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30056744528878243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529775203018433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055230096719578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779104618335532,0.0,0.14905933996568052,0.10530230843971952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388057045414787,0.0,0.23103063233433585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237728469913476,0.0,0.0,0.15690962215919016,0.13204109532148176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779432750569428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307582568516216,0.0,0.08100696897989276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201200236550462,0.1477331291253512,0.26031310630875376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839038201289277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835567090090396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210404293492462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934027204375646,0.0,0.14116807815222665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18885592480010274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376993639147027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650017918566322,0.20866040049126786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892238486114114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08594989599150578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477604279676756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141253543799502,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Esmer567,2019/03/19,Is it normal to feel happy then suddenly feel really sad I feel like this always happens to me. I feel extremely happy then suddenly I feel sad. This is happening for a while now. I want it to stop but I'm not sure what steps I should take. I'm sorry if it sounds like something that doesn't make sense or just sounds ridiculous.,1.1054104477611943,3.571477656716421,2.646399253731346,91.00601679104479,85.86567164179105,6.335074626865673,18.82276119402985,7.6454224807358475,0.6888820895522394,261,7,54,5,8,85,44,67,0.184,0.657,0.159,-0.1922,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,16,16,6,0,4,5,0,5,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,7,6,5,4,15,0,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,31,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591940730490888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345046542374061,0.1510393752607034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37391820652756974,0.45012368018283183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20657947598146853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112531862866404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714792506935029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544185934166347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16276239875484286,0.0,0.2366687675530765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675762247429316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19926201552519027,0.0,0.1589624598987543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247017243945343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fidelitas88,2019/03/19,Does anybody else also fear they will end up losing their minds and homeless I’ve had severe depression my whole life but always thought I would get better....but I’m starting to realize that I may never get better and I’m afraid. I feel like my depression/anxiety is getting worse and less controllable..and in result my life is falling apart. I feel less like myself the past few years and I’m afraid I’m going to end up muttering to myself as a homeless person on the streets.  Does anyone else have this fear?,2.8810000000000002,5.347857099999999,3.7680000000000007,85.85900000000002,78.0,6.4,24.0,7.554174236665415,1.3213000000000004,410,14,75,6,10,131,63,100,0.205,0.733,0.062,-0.9187,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,1,9,0,4,3,0,7,2,0,1,1,14,19,7,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,2,2,11,3,8,14,4,14,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,1,8,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838652657160013,0.1335849983752785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281528797028768,0.0,0.0,0.11225570222728552,0.1644957207966101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28397524279324393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827582489330809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809852828384033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682268780921772,0.0,0.2843876623125298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36131199510144896,0.162351168553284,0.1146922616890896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516319550302545,0.0,0.0912405335545868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267931512498295,0.15686682547491915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17960703779192475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16210310306224976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382099387972505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532568741041184,0.0,0.14018033456158474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813683841198079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363346925577845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745355412200834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792410112892302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636074753708053,0.1140454496568085,0.0,0.0,0.10338470819852212
mentalhealth,Sly_Pooper_,2019/03/19,"Help? I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and have previously been anorexic. I still have body image problems but I dont starve myself as bad and I'm at a completely healthy weight. 

My anxiety has been horrible my whole life, and I'm fairly certain I've been depressed my whole life, but being a kid was too good to notice it, so I didn't start to notice it until I turned 12 or so. 

When I want to ask someone a question, I'll mull it over in my head for a very long time before I ask them. Whether it's asking someone if they want to hang out, or just if they saw the game last night. I know this comes mostly from my anxiety, but I've been noticing some things lately that just don't line up with depression or anxiety. 

Worst of all, I've been having a REALLY bad dissociating problem; I think I've always had it because I've always spaced out for short periods of time, but lately it's been getting a lot worse. I can dissociate for 30 minutes to multiple hours. The longest I've ever dissociated was 3 and a half hours, and snapping out of it was just so scary and disappointing. I looked at the clock and suddenly 3 hours had passed. I had been playing a video game the whole time but I didn't really remember it. I just remembered that I was playing it during that time. I couldn't think of anything that I had thought about in that time frame, or anything. It's like I just missed a fraction of my life and I'll never know what happened in that time, even though I just sat and stared at a TV I guess. 

Another problem is I have really severe paranoia. I always feel like someone's out to get me. I dont know who, and I dont know why. I just call them ""they"" in my head. Like ""They're gonna get me one day"" or something. I've never done anything bad, and I'm a very nice person, so nobody has any reason to ""get me"" and I know that, but I cant shake the feeling that SOMEONE is out to get me. Someone's watching me. There's no evidence, my mind is just convinced. Its driving me insane, I sit in my room for hours and it makes my roommates sad. This is no longer just my battle with depression. I'm now effecting other people. I just want it to stop. 

I'm going to see a professional soon, I just need to wait for a day off work. I figured this was my best place to find some help until then. Thank you in advance for any advice and tips. ",3.113261758691209,4.181656762781188,4.572121676891616,86.47613752556241,73.39672801635992,7.641922290388548,26.057770961145195,8.07648339933343,1.4276875255623724,1843,61,397,27,36,616,215,489,0.201,0.691,0.108,-0.995,0,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,5,4,25,27,1,1,18,0,38,8,3,3,5,88,80,39,0,10,25,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,1,2,28,24,1,2,17,6,0,7,12,16,0,2,23,8,55,11,48,54,10,61,0,7,5,0,18,21,0,13,35,257,83,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422983037992905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407592264118834,0.0,0.0,0.08939624336820585,0.06892281532759062,0.2011306851642944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226863592507387,0.0,0.18434383602311774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464345268933042,0.04006792076193312,0.0,0.05593072269815447,0.0,0.06897875833837022,0.0,0.0,0.07301034277863908,0.0,0.0,0.06711687978410971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056619900602289164,0.06891583374087246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477981497362995,0.0,0.2264499140300628,0.06671377192437634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726380994836809,0.2311024592905592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04341352808972373,0.05945584007558969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06646933437196698,0.04695696594008302,0.0,0.0,0.06007531378563258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170401571094224,0.0,0.03735542889625741,0.055130548931659945,0.0,0.0,0.07240814318353936,0.0,0.05812412974426603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491427956593788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811381762679182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589201554133504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061529417827066,0.05357808482435248,0.14829084005299456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139279469972673,0.0963359263189345,0.0,0.0,0.05816828889257467,0.05519598816757695,0.0,0.0,0.05588063001090159,0.0,0.0,0.043874762913255184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06636777213366199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04873738174247934,0.10138884884908628,0.0,0.0,0.061682417774256135,0.0,0.0,0.22449944848441605,0.0,0.0,0.044539818697304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556836316414308,0.05739221721271496,0.06867304228041046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18868195196420612,0.0,0.0,0.07363176616331497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632345899849665,0.06758058252351629,0.0,0.0,0.14891678000889974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05237767616155768,0.0,0.0,0.0742553064199611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784607624027161,0.05060156268168724,0.0,0.0,0.04652347827930791,0.0,0.0524914378055022,0.054952568784458436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060514632249293175,0.0,0.0,0.043667571297586895,0.08423325677469763,0.06457862222728791,0.05218165647542547,0.22996341096950595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149451375325036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846697591127484,0.11630638596637352,0.0,0.0,0.08004047906201035,0.0,0.0,0.0593103950466313,0.220152971217632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785165299262773,0.0,0.06698368778667738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shrigus,2019/03/19,"fifteen-year-old rants about feelings they feel bad about feeling Hello, 15F here, freshman in high school, and recurrently suicidal. I’m not sure what exactly I want to come from posting this. I think I just want to vent. I’m haven’t gone to anyone about this and I’m scared I never will. I can’t say I have depression because I haven’t been diagnosed, but I’m certain that’s what this is. What else would it be. All too often I find it hard to even want to breathe. I’d rather sleep all day and when I have the chance, I do. It’s a form of escapism, I know that, but it’s one of the few things that makes me feel better. This whole feeling-too-bad-to-want-to-do-anything thing has been going on for years, continually getting worse and worse. It’s year long, the worst of it coming and going in waves, but no matter what, the winter beats me over the head and strangles me. Last year’s big winter wave was actually an all of fall AND winter wave, meaning I’m still having quite a bit of trouble. My worst months are always November and December, my mood slightly picking up in January, and then my only option from there is to ride the storm until I just eventually feel better. I’m not feeling better. Last school year was one of the best in a while because I was only severely down for 3-4 months. I was completely fine all summer too, which has never been the case. Welp, enter freshman year and for the first time ever, I made a plan. Baby’s first suicide plan equipped with Baby’s first suicide note. Obviously, I didn’t go through with it. I don’t even have the money to anymore. I feel a little guilty about it now. I’ve cried myself to sleep so many times in the middle of the day. I was just so tired, knowing I needed help but not knowing how to go about getting it. I still need help. My grades completely tanked during the second quarter, I failed at least 2 classes. Thankfully it all rounded out for the semester, but hell I’ve never been so scared and entirely done at the same time. I’ve had anxiety attacks for as long as I can remember, all about my failures and shortcomings and what’s to come. My outlook on my future was already bleak but to finally be what I was so utterly terrified of becoming? I couldn’t care anymore. I’ve cemented my place in this world. Even though this all happened just a few months ago, it really hurts to revisit it. Everyone thinks I’m lazy and that’s why my grades are so poor. Maybe they’re right. Maybe the reason for my many absences isn’t my sadness at all. Maybe that’s just who I am. Who’s to say I wouldn’t be just as much of a failure without whatever the fuck is going on with me. I can’t go more than one quarter without burning out, after that I get entirely overwhelmed and I can’t do it I can’t keep up I’m not sure I even want to I really don’t think I do anymore",2.704563218390806,4.337331496551727,3.9945689655172414,87.9452442528736,75.41379310344827,7.040229885057474,25.186781609195403,7.793537801064563,1.279522988505747,2228,76,467,32,48,731,252,580,0.2,0.711,0.08900000000000001,-0.9977,1,0,0,0,0,2,70.0,0,0,1,12,34,25,3,3,25,0,46,7,4,5,17,94,94,35,3,10,19,0,9,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,36,23,0,1,17,0,2,13,22,14,0,9,16,11,51,10,67,71,20,79,1,5,1,1,8,25,2,2,40,312,87,6,0.0,0.0,0.06378585279647753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05794125820996654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213081935697215,0.0,0.0543880992647946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05000329494032839,0.0,0.19447062637050333,0.045704041247394286,0.0,0.05378901752425832,0.0,0.0,0.0743610068492644,0.0,0.0,0.10915244971985806,0.07969059749855907,0.07218942260571044,0.0,0.0,0.06859550436063394,0.17342748678703454,0.07136057863723616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664297274041273,0.0,0.0,0.16891594161253,0.1370658587589889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179930462934189,0.0843087684934802,0.0,0.056297933014088836,0.06634310247372625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689008442269319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460324979823122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726892699796608,0.059125496535672034,0.0,0.06245812041177187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313500806564313,0.0,0.0,0.0716030868649015,0.059741528377969026,0.1667958012239596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060427981475336186,0.10245000497685022,0.0,0.2228872668171417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780118534132861,0.0,0.05855332141955135,0.0,0.06708234009432111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762424704140462,0.06906067386043145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997353327104458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809854258599916,0.0,0.0,0.10776706479952107,0.10656079754798674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551191788383673,0.0,0.11569019827258015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184901436578701,0.04363098964429815,0.13253771013816132,0.1970008251197141,0.07120057783371207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565188069243691,0.0,0.04805007418671085,0.09693318239920966,0.15123828097696684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858854158874357,0.0,0.1328770509039413,0.09942456236701516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829148689653254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260066106012452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695226790695622,0.0,0.0,0.08374772747744685,0.0672050969726918,0.0,0.0,0.07404469055794692,0.05582051431783679,0.0,0.1039601814316737,0.13088156993439212,0.1323037518791336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384273532939617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082244643219598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439957858390017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21449288038883366,0.0,0.12320962702316565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060178405937317235,0.0,0.0,0.0868498984185307,0.12564787055289187,0.0642198159158735,0.0,0.11434285379974925,0.07512632337497757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927669570050824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898085961615535,0.07297659192938921,0.0,0.12601716186354375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322303730441235,0.04643272307574113,0.0,0.0,0.2525537076925381
mentalhealth,The_Piper_95,2019/03/19,"today i had a breakdown I’m in med school, and today I had a breakdown. I’ve never had onde before either. It felt, as if stones collapsed all around me and my options were gone.

I’ve decided to take a 3 month break from school, I need to find mysel again.",0.4272222222222233,2.5800602407407425,2.342222222222226,94.30000000000004,85.48148148148148,4.340740740740742,18.259259259259263,5.46131890053228,-0.4148296296296299,199,5,43,1,6,66,39,54,0.047,0.953,0.0,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,12,9,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,1,5,0,6,3,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,5,26,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334140100605124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231132899358947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517535719169641,0.0,0.2396464815049845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912456158415965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092859154382095,0.0,0.0,0.19441832786803911,0.2022251683713647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5307217523319201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971421239057419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4970707788563529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BFNYPatMatt,2019/03/19,"Emotionless 4 years ago, I went through the darkest time in my life.  I started having anxiety attacks, had a hard time leaving the house, and had suicidal thoughts.  I sought help.  I got on medication and saw a therapist.  After a year, my eyes finally opened to the realization that all of this stemmed from the feeling that I was stuck in my life.  I made big changes.  I left my toxic, stressful job.  I took a couple if months off to simply decompress and almost like a switch flipped inside me, my anxiety attacks stopped, and I was avle yo get off the medication.

What I have noticed is that since all this happened is that I don't feel much of anything any more.  I'm no longer depressed, but I am not angry, or happy, or really anything any more.  It's like I'm in a constant state of neutral.  Has anyone ever experienced something like this?  There are definitely times when you would expect that I be emotional but I'm just not.  It seems unusual, and I worry that it may lead me back down the path to depression again.",3.5866557181248133,5.642934294416246,4.622812779934312,82.55923559271426,74.07614213197971,7.8840250821140625,29.862346969244552,8.671277953709913,2.464634159450582,804,36,153,16,17,262,127,197,0.171,0.733,0.096,-0.9044,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,1,6,9,2,1,12,0,15,5,1,2,3,28,31,11,1,3,8,0,3,3,0,2,4,0,0,0,13,6,0,1,4,0,0,3,4,5,0,0,11,6,22,4,16,17,5,30,0,2,2,0,2,10,0,6,19,102,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208104725225036,0.0,0.12661096223092905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196648276667054,0.0,0.19345184540749705,0.0,0.0,0.08840948513932792,0.0,0.2080979806459056,0.0,0.0,0.2876865218285403,0.0,0.0972242224035174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375629663790153,0.0,0.0,0.1366362534889531,0.0,0.0,0.1399029760085353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21780442763221655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422274946172776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437182718768665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278632883566361,0.0,0.0,0.1385083653729073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605945517667111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112527223454737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118100915586119,0.1345972702461359,0.11326501680407206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847497765538789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458942842606133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547176033995364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388124506098273,0.1373769595439563,0.0,0.17861601092233442,0.18531595723661312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964017551217908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25474912334734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092285610589027,0.0,0.09294763009596686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395228510855934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100042431468736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510583309335515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459211644425896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733935598418884,0.0,0.0,0.08949457633036938,0.0,0.0,0.10570913963279338,0.1448360968473131,0.0,0.0,0.1383043643674097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680608265988446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037889279147316,0.22118378501974628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047901129422166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172107453880328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284055178497182,0.0,0.08981904069538504,0.0,0.0,0.16284587137684536
mentalhealth,Anxiousththroway89,2019/03/19,"Scared of admitting my problem I recently went through some fairly serious health issues. A bacterial infection have me septic shock and also created a lesion in my brain that is slowly closing now that the infection is gone.  I was in a hospital for 3 weeks going through treatment and have been out for about 2 months now. I had to drop out of school as I could not keep up with my studies and have just started to get back to work. Thankfully I live in a country where healthcare is covered by the tax payer so the money issue of the hospital stay is non existent. The problem is, something has felt wrong since I've been back at home.

Anxiety has been a constant issue since my discharge and most days I have no drive to get myself off the couch and be productive. My wife and her family have been incredibly supportive throughout my recovery for the physical aspects but mentally I seem to be unable to admit that something is wrong.  I can't seem to bring up the fact that there is a crushing sense of dread constantly hanging over me and I can feel myself pulling away from friends and family.  The few times I've brought up the fact that something isn't right with those closer to me the only response I get is ""it will get better in time"" and ""don't worry, it will just take time.""  

I've gone through some issues with anxiety and mild depression throughout my life but since my health scare they have gotten considerably worse and I don't know what to do or how to bring up how bad it's gotten.",6.551503941782897,6.717537718213059,6.657016373559737,77.82347483323228,65.28865979381443,10.14602789569436,33.61249241964827,9.916854025145753,3.19397780473014,1200,48,225,24,17,384,157,291,0.155,0.785,0.06,-0.9798,0,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,13,15,0,3,17,0,33,6,1,2,2,42,58,19,0,3,6,1,2,0,1,2,5,0,2,0,10,17,0,1,8,0,2,10,6,11,0,0,13,2,26,4,41,40,4,44,0,1,0,0,6,18,0,6,14,159,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226966271968747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739926280351474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665510966283226,0.15821013131948702,0.08589691509132448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098519941776148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114843307862875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223441758965193,0.0,0.08213787797159645,0.0,0.0,0.06634631790056006,0.0,0.08860669246250519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939641146387248,0.0,0.0520170466313572,0.0,0.09877680818297728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948151313541106,0.0,0.21499323563665326,0.0,0.05846663292751336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187041237363325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319271833016627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295020249776152,0.0,0.09144065190011674,0.0,0.0,0.05653779607319021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266415160025774,0.0,0.0,0.0908411307384932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367451225063733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211440484132343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824160807705507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196876308682818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157734594036874,0.0,0.0,0.08785528847074461,0.0,0.0,0.205993051526143,0.10411570395893792,0.0,0.18730835299208148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552995344455019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375962272379511,0.0,0.0,0.07281595225747646,0.10965181161480624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674212891391696,0.0,0.0,0.07734972580347346,0.0,0.0,0.09471412576439092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996294960570053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252068377901546,0.0,0.0,0.09536680757872916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489473720846536,0.1044752703541072,0.1048391305272149,0.0,0.224956863607098,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jaylarkson,2019/03/19,"Confusion So it was my birthday today and my whole family came to the house to celebrate since it was a big one. But I can't help but feel someone is missing? Everyone is here- my parents and all four siblings, but I can't help but feel like there's one person missing. I haven't lost any siblings or such but it just feels wrong? Like there's an empty inside my heart where another sibling is supposed to be but I don't have another? Wasn't sure exactly where to put this so thought maybe it'd fit here somehow... It's causing me distress and confusion because I know everyone's here but it doesn't feel that way. Any advice on what it could be?",1.0711363636363629,3.553186795454547,2.6456818181818207,90.78852272727272,86.34848484848484,6.027272727272727,24.91666666666667,7.413659706084162,1.3842484848484848,515,22,105,9,16,168,78,132,0.201,0.6970000000000001,0.101,-0.9235,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,12,10,0,3,3,0,16,1,1,1,3,27,26,13,0,1,9,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,4,0,0,6,0,0,2,6,7,0,3,6,4,10,3,5,16,2,9,0,3,0,0,4,5,0,4,3,71,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559726660006135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165630989546148,0.3339321187030593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970648515187863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821161779974584,0.0,0.16357260249295352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713183348739374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043013040036865,0.0,0.0,0.15010744210671767,0.0,0.32204496508324715,0.1137536173595788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18868777515651464,0.21345641256292947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18372951409440288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750839263958815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558302346376401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738178557692636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996747788360846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21579611850659428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680556399409467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390330952081413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006967024479535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317163234310254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491467509392985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007195990599587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641047105702422,0.0,0.0,0.1509309885751455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638899973580894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777740983834712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174092509036048,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ezpzjapanesey,2019/03/19,"My psychiatrist will not treat a MI he misdiagnosed for years, and I'm afraid I will have to drop out of college. I am a 23 year old female with bipolar disorder.  For years, my psychiatrist failed to recognize, despite being symptomatic, that I also have ADD.  For the past 10+ years that I have seen him, he always attributed my inability to concentrate to symptom of my depression or mania.  Now that I'm insisting to him that I have it after YEARS of struggling in school, he explained that he doesn't like to prescribe medication for ADD along with the mood stabilizers I need for bipolar, and that treating the two together is ""extremely complicated"".  However, I am struggling so hard in college and in this semester specifically  I believe I'm going to fail a class, and set myself back an entire year.

This is the first semester that I have gotten accommodations through my school's disability services.  Because I had little guidance or support from my psychiatrist, I wasn't sure what accommodations I needed (I sort of guessed based on the list the school gave), and on top of that, I was mortified to even ask for them.  I didn't want my professors to think I was being difficult, even though I know they legally must accommodate me. For the record - I know that that's definitely a ""me"" problem, and is probably not true.

I just don't know what to do.  I just scored a 44% on my midterm for one class specifically because I just couldn't concentrate during the exam.  I haven't handed in two projects, worth a combined total of 24% because I couldn't finish them in time. I have the accommodation to ask for more time, but as one project ends, another begins, and it would be a constant uphill battle.   I did the math and would need to score insanely high on all assignments and exams for the rest of the semester, and I just don't  think it's realistic since the class will only get harder.  I'm studying day and night.  I have a tutor now.  But if I fail this class, I have to drop out because I can't afford to pay for another year.  

I just don't know what to do.  I planned on talking to the professor, but I don't really know how to explain this situation to him without oversharing and coming off like I am begging for pity.  I am willing to do the work to prove to him that I deserve to pass. I just have been doing terribly because of condition, and feel like it's too late.  Even if I turned around and got a different doctor to get the right meds, it's too late to change my grades.

I guess I could reach out to my disability coordinator who is very nice but I'm afraid she won't be able to help me, either.  I'm so stressed that my hair is falling out.  I can't sleep.  I don't have anyone in my life to talk to.  I really just need some advice as to how to proceed, because I'm really worried and am praying that someone has an idea for me... :(

I know I'm intelligent.  I know I am capable.  But things just feel impossible right now. ",5.707886801779537,5.97784646193772,6.7540316361838855,76.05327681660901,67.0795847750865,10.27353435491844,32.77726149283243,10.158995162802928,3.1900121008403364,2317,94,456,53,35,779,249,578,0.118,0.83,0.052000000000000005,-0.9845,3,0,0,0,0,0,70.0,0,0,3,7,24,24,1,5,27,0,57,9,3,3,6,85,98,32,0,14,21,0,5,3,0,8,6,0,0,0,27,26,0,0,15,0,2,4,17,14,0,5,11,6,71,9,77,72,6,55,1,5,1,0,21,22,0,8,29,319,98,28,0.07862671535512833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683311625362488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287775586244629,0.065423725830309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489393327891086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05497762753849659,0.0,0.0,0.06999444649774991,0.1470107300613324,0.0,0.0,0.060459090770598835,0.0,0.2875806953621949,0.0,0.0,0.08858538319222505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317663931532218,0.0677299531932716,0.0,0.08496754664652686,0.0,0.0627770342970122,0.0,0.0,0.0507077267781889,0.0,0.06772107472251741,0.0,0.0,0.08214818270280948,0.09011302769613756,0.08047777486517416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963993215910631,0.0,0.0,0.1557966118375465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795120595040258,0.05617094116006426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687984391459599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215842715010846,0.0,0.04468537428968584,0.0,0.06288496695663802,0.0,0.17323238283588754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043409309739103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270182992251486,0.08307344167892053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875999115925375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30247830545050675,0.0,0.1773887193184895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553637432355027,0.11523912460114942,0.07880462476511291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733655563538754,0.0792081437703023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332028526413397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378584604101697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250551132805159,0.0,0.10655899440004447,0.05979916008306401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505809660475747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477289763329403,0.07523514782500418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111086162582252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429357060841146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23872330085815016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504083144781952,0.0883797223893979,0.07868349862862778,0.0,0.06662016076706488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006663678735832,0.16439542915869354,0.0,0.0,0.08922466481626759,0.07410474871325383,0.08172326288559356,0.0,0.12639435095081822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052236095941324105,0.1007616487838984,0.07725034862677489,0.0,0.09169574004574167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552328807669407,0.1536137519867539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487527462375431,0.0463760738644048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579334780146314,0.0,0.0572411852181937,0.07984924607472099,0.0,0.1117083253552241,0.0,0.0,0.35443118767405196
mentalhealth,Mr_Mousebender,2019/03/19,"There's this person on Deviantart/Youtube and I'm really concerned about them A person posted [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4rqfDmlacY) in a Discord server I am in. Look at the description and compare it to the ""music"". Karjamp is apparently of the opinion that they are absolutely perfect, and that all of their mistakes are completely intentional. I saw this, initially thought it was funny, and went to look at their other stuff. One of their videos led me to their [Deviantart](https://www.deviantart.com/karjamp/gallery/), where I discovered they've been posting about their ""Purest of Trust"" philosophy. It's kind of nonsense, and this is where I started actually getting concerned about their state. They've been regularly posting about this for \~2 years. I came across [this](https://www.deviantart.com/karjamp/art/Purest-of-Trust-Vs-Schizophenia-770157953) and got REALLY worried. It seems like this person might be justifying their schizophrenia with their ""Purest of Trust"" thing, calling it some sort of philosophy? I don't know much about stuff like that, it's only a guess based on what I've observed. I do think this is further supported by the wildly varying quality of their visual artwork as well. They've also developed a less than well-written fictional universe for themselves rife with superpowered self-inserts. Is it schizophrenia? Extreme narcissism? Does one signify another? Karjamp doesn't seem OK no matter how you look at it, though, and I'm *very* concerned that they need help and aren't getting it. Thoughts?",8.160042782738094,11.102464933593753,6.126785714285719,72.84916666666669,63.7265625,9.094940476190477,36.40922619047619,9.606745405546679,3.99492730654762,1277,62,184,27,21,368,146,256,0.056,0.823,0.12,0.9286,2,0,0,0,0,0,80.0,0,1,12,1,12,10,0,0,8,1,16,0,0,3,2,30,37,12,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,25,11,0,0,6,1,0,3,4,1,1,2,9,4,21,9,31,26,4,20,0,0,4,0,18,11,0,7,4,123,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.12356505988227212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125977524919356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277447958150154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929548426182794,0.14482213241959174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276103009400236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080799266222097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323098089926576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127138816010524,0.0,0.13948869446150886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487223152253667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185759820787354,0.06958828241416821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372248019955773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3189924222815234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343262074784584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930819301448051,0.09388880106341532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160504022016135,0.09630193423805228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316850190852372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36380736919415796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622349236871282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305442990680445,0.13209463204424268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962388706114881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289904386247689,0.0,0.14368943964452072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841222028738607,0.08113443116446786,0.12440572715383708,0.20104786054645649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447662512005387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276972361923903,0.11738010321688465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285910510074815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154058370406568
mentalhealth,hatul_adom,2019/03/20,"need some advices or support idk so I'm having some trouble with my parents. well first of all I should mention I have social anxiety. I also possibly have depression or I'm just depressed but I dont tell about it to anyone irl so... I'm 15 btw. okay so I am afraid I might sounds like a teenager who's bragging about his parents and I hope you wont take me for it. I dont know if I'm just overreacting and that's what I'm here to find out

so when I moved into middle school I moved to a school none of my friends went to and probably because of my social anxiety (which I didnt know about then) I couldnt find any friends. so for 2 years I've been by myself at school. I started feeling uncomfortable about my looks and I went to school with a closed hoodie every day and long pants even at summer which in my country get really really hot. so in these 2 years I've grown a habit of missing school. a lot. probably since I suffered from going there because of loneliness and anxiety and since I couldnt handle being completely alone I started talking with people online. I started getting really sentimental with some and I wouldve probably lost my mind if it werent for them. anyway because I was missing school so much my parents started to punish me by taking my computer which of course was a problem because then I couldnt talk with anyone and my parents didnt really know that I was suffering at my school that much. I always told everyone its just cause I'm lazy and I'm not really lazy I'm just mentally tired... 

now this is the part that I'm kind of confused about. my parents would occasionaly beat me when also taking my computer because I didnt get off bed and when they asked me why I'm not getting off bed I would just instinctively phase out and I would go numb because of fear and I wouldnt answer and my dad really doesnt like when I dont answer when he talks to me and it may lead to beating me even harder. much harder. one time I had a bruise on my arm that lasted for weeks because he got angry from me not answering. dont think its a common thing though. it was common back in middle school but now it only happens like once half a year. please dont think I'm being tortured or something I'm trying to be very careful with my words not to mislead anyone.

other than occasional beating I used to also feel mentally abused from them. on days that I didnt go to school they would first take my computer and then RARELY beat me and then after they come home from work or just few hours later. they would talk with me like nothing happened. which makes me confused and feel like I might be overreacting and what happened isnt such a big deal and I'm just a p****. and after that they might be angry at me again and question me and give me very stern looks of disappointment. and a couple times (like 2-3 times) they said really mean stuff. my mom called me a shit kid once (I dont really remember the context) and then she came to me and said sorry and hugged me which made me scared cause why would she one time say that to me and then later hug me is it not a big deal am I just overreacting is it normal does it happen to a lot of kids??? my dad would call me retarded few times when he's angry and then a day later he'd act like nothing happened which makes me think that I might overreact or overthink what he says. 

anyway what I want to know from this is. am I overreacting? is this normal? ",1.892514475119576,4.009726761768903,3.3950631450868523,89.08281373248302,79.52781740370901,6.3489217084836795,22.00639842242175,7.45546127846077,0.8207465637324836,2704,82,562,39,68,889,266,701,0.177,0.7559999999999999,0.067,-0.9979,6,1,1,0,1,0,49.0,0,1,8,9,42,36,3,5,18,1,53,6,2,7,1,122,121,62,0,20,22,8,4,7,2,15,2,5,3,2,38,42,0,0,18,0,0,12,23,19,1,5,19,11,90,17,66,78,13,77,0,8,2,2,50,19,1,21,53,369,128,14,0.0,0.05278598970537194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04353500178411498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04614169709649903,0.0,0.1068829437276768,0.03707023949600087,0.0,0.0,0.030296402711225082,0.0,0.10224483723925604,0.0,0.0,0.09345388667072076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041649439119308164,0.0,0.0,0.0342571895154625,0.0,0.1901063562019209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909836897859382,0.05095480343118331,0.04542300601800387,0.09153288739534006,0.0,0.038376988685110004,0.04671117652211941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929515139766452,0.0,0.0861956829319435,0.09186084077490428,0.07674391597328672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03898713125110458,0.0,0.31328265754448553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588514094358079,0.0,0.03753638055883172,0.042570663682544994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050132583576343065,0.06757940757485106,0.03182744814809518,0.0,0.0,0.08143813792963253,0.0757906034822817,0.0,0.0,0.06884042724058152,0.0,0.09310483413826924,0.04273765379726367,0.07595856881570406,0.0,0.03563173384265912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19698277865197966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04468857308908413,0.044249480123361384,0.043874043264583766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046393309401935166,0.0979368882997589,0.03631524487330003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235855829774606,0.0,0.0,0.03942648681676235,0.07482372066491845,0.0,0.048632992252210586,0.07575182163278063,0.0,0.04215550471747087,0.05947665968936024,0.0,0.0,0.04852941191599712,0.0,0.0,0.0897944369168415,0.18904749939437435,0.0449840994621338,0.05217792858006129,0.0,0.09470193446599093,0.0982509656697068,0.033034214609649025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873016037407509,0.08549632236179802,0.0,0.0,0.09489133276061412,0.06037820978139191,0.033883261122861795,0.0,0.0,0.2473446581715636,0.048244702047115805,0.0,0.03088625269466825,0.0,0.0,0.04890393433908194,0.0,0.050224881844361725,0.0,0.0,0.14410146677615468,0.04262956462650549,0.0,0.0,0.04990763718860992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283255606870851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05046792312095213,0.0,0.08475695166155621,0.07085794274510396,0.04460361006052917,0.405794525935777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045731255618369424,0.0737065695415564,0.0,0.0,0.09082885270911176,0.0,0.03429775711060649,0.0,0.04987151803672029,0.12613452023225732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051000564514165576,0.0,0.05055627223476062,0.0,0.0,0.13398809260667222,0.14323454683217596,0.03893978828731893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02959789529418517,0.08563999692067208,0.04377141302180988,0.0,0.12989106784728294,0.05120515034742397,0.0,0.042570663682544994,0.0,0.03024739927250042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038478007528089775,0.0,0.07351895469570634,0.026277503202687784,0.0,0.035736354929819684,0.0,0.04005695717278844,0.08259897829455295,0.08040121354511696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03243386734924148,0.0,0.0,0.22153569102356407,0.0,0.0,0.08606870396577318
mentalhealth,Brooks101922,2019/03/20,"How can I prevent losing control on my boyfriend during a manic episode? I recently was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at the end of last year. I don’t have many coping mechanisms besides my medication. Which is hard for me to take because I sometimes feel like I don’t need it so I don’t take it as I should. 

I experience manic episodes thankfully not very often, but when I do I target it against my boyfriend. I critique and pick fights with him over things that aren’t that big of a deal. When something comes up that would usually only annoy me when I wouldn’t be in a manic episode; I will completely lose it. I lose all sense of being rational and act completely on impulse.  And when I finally do calm down I realize what a complete mess I leave. 

I’m trying to better myself by taking my medications regularly now because I know that’s what ultimately helps. But does anyone have any other advice or coping mechanisms you’ve used personally or know of someone who does, when it comes to preventing these manic episodes and not taking it out on your significant other? ",5.765331010452961,6.988704268292687,6.5831533101045325,73.94518292682928,67.29268292682927,9.7595818815331,33.667247386759584,9.957137785484203,3.5199198606271773,865,39,151,20,14,286,126,205,0.131,0.785,0.085,-0.8477,1,0,1,0,1,0,14.0,0,1,0,5,9,10,2,0,5,0,17,4,0,4,1,31,30,16,0,4,6,0,2,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,18,9,0,3,4,0,0,3,7,6,0,0,1,2,27,4,22,23,1,25,0,3,0,0,7,10,0,3,13,109,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779681379581053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197587142764877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428903667931299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696826609256072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661373623298458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20768056988266093,0.3791726797379201,0.0,0.13520334417016766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427832677655162,0.0,0.12235233570611545,0.0,0.0,0.13815693104336152,0.0,0.21098241195409448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067685722159174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791777738207622,0.0,0.0,0.06095201994019895,0.08611856734699798,0.0,0.13205298810314306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798614131544763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079989396223493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249859793272456,0.09826162772434466,0.0,0.12764152124439182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889301542763412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4045826776528744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221540597205448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428761819844029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893838306602191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168117693154512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525670524653136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902529682447488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021388049265106,0.09280271832781277,0.1192237420635724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625443838020701,0.0,0.0,0.11098318063158824,0.0,0.0,0.08008585317180791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818432781415516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411362127643313,0.13276512971086116,0.09946362997408574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563289791522892,0.0,0.0,0.07762810519666573
mentalhealth,MrBlowie,2019/03/20,"Angry/miserable all the fucking time I’m angry all the time and it’s because life feels really shit. I take it out on my family and feel like distancing myself from them. I’m starting to hate my only irl friend to the point I don’t want to be friends anymore.

I don’t want to go to class or do my work because I don’t see the point. I have a sliver of concern for the amount of assignments I haven’t started but thoughts of suicide relieve me of any of that stress. 

Whenever I see groups of friends, people in relationships, people having fun I get insanely angry in my head. I walk around so angry I’m actually getting angry writing this post because I realize how fucking stupid I am.

I wish I was fucking dead ",3.0293908045977034,4.7428384620689705,4.7473275862069,82.54834770114945,74.72413793103449,7.591954022988506,29.32471264367816,8.344100000000001,2.2353333333333336,567,25,110,10,12,192,87,145,0.253,0.606,0.141,-0.9776,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,1,1,3,13,6,1,6,0,10,6,2,1,2,17,31,6,2,3,2,0,2,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,2,4,20,6,18,28,3,14,0,0,2,3,7,7,4,1,5,66,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.13988956963024995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097483367326955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421653393660627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761248320079474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26215570300252833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513824827991985,0.0,0.14496480600134856,0.102409743112862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33225710258094704,0.3975761372595294,0.1497896108776855,0.0,0.08146948595481893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152910287023504,0.14711913808735447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125281347320801,0.07003389358283457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109024639715766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987626019819136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710254253057744,0.0,0.13729031047388562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918341061591832,0.0,0.0,0.15390496581059096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284638393118597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471473967474244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029286758169246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420770145454794,0.0,0.0,0.15680235982778726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077818592318788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113804414911959,0.16717785012483552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910387160874038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16484618920356747,0.0,0.0,0.1043609908006794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrNutella12345678,2019/03/20,just wanna know a couple months ago I tries weed for the first and only time and since then I've been feeling like its hard to study and understand things (even when I completely understand something I still get that feeling of confusion). i also feel like my memory got significantly worse. Am I just making my self think this is happening (is it psychological) or is all this actually happening?,5.503333333333334,7.86626044444445,6.298333333333333,71.28,69.55555555555556,10.355555555555558,28.66666666666667,10.504223727775694,3.5280666666666662,320,12,54,10,6,105,56,72,0.063,0.825,0.112,0.3612,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,2,0,5,0,0,1,1,17,17,7,0,1,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,7,2,4,15,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,9,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.18444001540249474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754007492514558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114591879297035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981664271333545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20912862305763508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483493681789075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866973333577974,0.270048076450974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076616155506632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874645483018148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511632528635357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342700942998392,0.0,0.16930988661306515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038713038502218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18467498964013512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616121050692986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086067884060614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374557217937872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19717172469336888,0.0,0.0,0.1563455325877932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550402047951047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509383275274785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556543418122573,0.12110572153572073,0.0,0.0,0.11020937920346907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832087500662828,0.0,0.0,0.3935183268669002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926105709583762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Squibsz,2019/03/20,What do I do? I need some advice. I dont know what to do. So when I was younger I was molested I guess. Long story short my cousin didn't full on rape me but he did force me to give him a hand job and he touched me.. I have recently been struggling with this a lot and I've never really told anyone about what happened untill recently ive spoken up about it to some few people I trust. I am unsure of what to do because I feel violated and I feel like garbage and its starting to take a toll on me. I didn't realize what it truly was till I was older. My mom doesn't know and I can't tell her or anyone in my family because it would cause a bunch of drama and such and that's the last thing our family needs and I dont think she would even believe me. My cousin is kinda like her son in a way and it would be my word against his and I don't think she would believe me. I'm not looking for justice since there is nothing you can do since it was a long time ago. I just want to cope with it. I want to get better but I don't want to go to a therapist because I'm not sure how much of this would be confidential and I dont want my mom or anyone else to find out about this.  I kinda feel like its my fault because I was young and stupid and part of me is afraid of my cousin before he did it and after. He is a scary guy. I am not sure what to do and I need help. ,0.2114425770308124,1.6870377026143828,2.4773716153127943,96.76602941176472,82.10457516339869,5.678618113912232,18.444911297852475,6.5431188927421005,-0.2830696545284783,1051,23,266,10,28,358,142,306,0.109,0.768,0.123,0.289,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,1,0,1,10,14,4,2,9,0,40,2,1,2,3,59,65,24,0,12,8,6,5,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,20,18,0,0,9,1,0,1,13,7,0,0,12,6,48,7,32,46,8,25,0,0,1,1,23,8,0,8,18,186,68,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373702090534924,0.08503192528336988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20121944572277164,0.09828673022312408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339005103316513,0.0,0.0816253023213104,0.21614976252655152,0.0,0.08483806734698024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854163118967232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372709522920695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013321768483322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335770725300015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808595323846177,0.0,0.14550802988427414,0.137058001615174,0.0,0.0,0.08767391897050619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501169715536365,0.09202021783082656,0.05451651668180283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567245143206694,0.09498105534092646,0.08482636078463072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429665714572481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519098555876153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543599138324901,0.0781918623720714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059266054228872,0.0,0.0,0.16978161330021216,0.08055303067361587,0.0,0.0,0.08155219704850407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22469293128140636,0.0,0.0,0.07051607859979084,0.2133820194250909,0.07398344809506092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204284171503747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387767219554676,0.0,0.0665024737769601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061452156248562026,0.0,0.18942917685432345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870067685398406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789636887192826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002818740874987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808167810450408,0.0,0.07212383210652731,0.0,0.08384287582756304,0.0,0.0,0.11137658112512758,0.06372845793606241,0.1229300233942826,0.0,0.0,0.05593477084299338,0.0,0.0,0.09166066447759612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22631673514247916,0.07614097965418261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407126425329058,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BigSexyB,2019/03/20,"Will milk everyday help with b12 deficiency? I have terrible short term memory and also get brain fog often. I don’t have vitamin b12 pills but imma get some soon. Will milk help or does it not have enough b12 to make a difference. Also, do any of you know how long it takes to get from low b12 levels to normal?",3.1866666666666674,4.7170863968253975,4.682730158730159,83.93171428571429,73.92063492063492,8.84952380952381,20.536507936507935,9.3871,1.4567993650793647,245,5,51,6,5,82,47,63,0.071,0.8170000000000001,0.111,0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,7,5,1,2,0,11,13,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,6,11,3,7,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,3,4,30,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199998903270159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17857600154292955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931467998814136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743595668492209,0.0,0.0,0.2298017384048076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27133447281248996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115906720809197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3520285112578145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431728151711865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23239143068341356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528655421061393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572907990580073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19744140962978174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,haywoodyablowme1,2019/03/20,"I Can't handle women yelling it literally breaks me I turned my life around from a pretty violent one and am now a totally different person. But because of my past I'm pretty good at dealing with literally any stressful situation if a guy starts yelling I can ignore it or yell back last year I walked away without losing my cool after getting punched in the face. I also hate displaying weak emotions like sadness or loneliness so if I feel them I keep them to myself and nobody knows. But I can't handle women yelling. I had two bad mother figures the one I call mom was crazy and manipulative and my biological mother was around maybe 4 times my whole life and apparently has a more violent history then me. And I had multiple bad female roll models in positions of power and now when women yell I just break I literally have to leave so people don't see me cry or snap and lose my shit. worth noting that my dads about as positive a father figure as you can get. What should I do to hide this/cope if women start yelling.
",4.508358208955221,6.007894860696522,5.8389850746268674,77.06683582089553,70.54228855721394,8.743084577114429,28.32537313432836,9.21078282632365,2.4650322388059704,821,30,152,17,15,276,129,201,0.211,0.6890000000000001,0.1,-0.9733,3,0,0,0,4,0,9.0,0,1,2,3,11,15,4,1,7,1,14,5,2,1,1,30,25,23,0,4,10,5,1,1,0,1,3,6,0,6,4,11,0,2,4,0,1,1,4,12,0,3,4,9,28,3,18,20,3,21,0,3,1,0,16,6,1,6,13,102,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248013898127432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564885103484018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504219484934391,0.0,0.0,0.13214810671059216,0.1081534612563996,0.23487872997497564,0.08574075240385208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362242068611938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450069629869362,0.0,0.14500704850940208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695242984951593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821567350615298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111837390686597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469707558352349,0.0,0.0,0.11797304816297766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926856572473134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388657003622664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501883311844614,0.0,0.0,0.07729920057743903,0.11465095312761513,0.0,0.14893119937298346,0.0,0.0,0.1986947217421248,0.0687159424051015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314709418695646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413048255807877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473107271615758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19062020161855572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426918664594614,0.09751106793686054,0.1228127587448608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861892969426722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208221634310214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437826490393715,0.0,0.1580998450268031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19910980935661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111751579652955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201588497289093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299005502115026,0.13739752584923806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570340315244304,0.0,0.13558445554600873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057590899324637
mentalhealth,throwawawawawy1,2019/03/20,"Want to try therapy, don’t know if it’s “serious enough” Im 16 & I’ve been having confidence issues and just general unhappiness for the past few months. My mood shifts very radically from time to time. I want to try therapy but I don’t know if my issue is “serious enough” to warrant a therapist. I’d have to convince my parents because they’re not the firmest believers in mental health issues",2.7076923076923087,5.211686115384616,4.702243589743592,78.71567307692307,78.87179487179488,9.028205128205126,28.98076923076923,9.516144504307137,3.2567384615384616,319,15,59,10,8,109,56,78,0.066,0.838,0.096,0.2846,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,11,10,4,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,5,1,8,9,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,4,32,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046488612314826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153185231722822,0.0,0.0,0.18765316703355686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441966600313672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704274019202285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991058616408692,0.521527994906943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830711953704698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785069639612887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294453706663148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18494229508853965,0.0,0.15899789594892902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809458320836946,0.19338599253776848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424193250630306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261630990241769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742730805715733,0.19647975369375686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cheeky_c,2019/03/20,"what is happEning to me hello p, 

​

can someone pleas help me  because im not sure what is happening right now

​

im am shaking uncontrollably, itching everywhen,super super hot and i can hear things and there is no one around

​

i have NOT Taken any drug Not alcohol either i guess it just is happening

​

i need hep ASAP",4.622727272727276,7.1669749090909125,5.327272727272729,76.46090909090911,72.63636363636364,8.036363636363637,32.21212121212121,8.841846274778883,3.1954121212121214,288,14,46,6,6,93,45,66,0.123,0.78,0.097,0.0613,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,2,0,0,8,3,1,0,1,11,15,2,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,1,2,6,2,2,14,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355706870682453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4605202985657242,0.5164585002214961,0.07225881765027327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945917996716048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477365202108336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322509154349495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705473558087062,0.0,0.2818897573786966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976004758197367,0.0,0.07122223530287891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295529026042265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878867047189772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200290562923939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074341725513699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003172703952854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014653870038186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059283371956228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5164585002214961,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayalone86,2019/03/20,"Can physical illness worsen depression and anxiety symptoms? I don't know if this is the place to post this. Let me know if it isn't and I'll remove. Using a throwaway because I have friends on here I haven't told about this yet.

So some history: I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for years now. About a month ago, it hit the worst it's been, and I finally decided to get help. I spoke to my GP, she agreed and formally diagnosed me with mdd and anxiety, and I was started on Wellbutrin 150mg with instructions to come back in a month to check in. 

In that month, I started to feel so much better. I was more active, my apartment was clean, I wasn't nearly as irritable, hell, I even went to the gym a couple of times last week. So it comes time for my month recheck. Right at the same time (literally the day before) I started to feel super run down and stuffy. I decided to get that checked out at the same time. Turns out I have the flu.

Now at the same time, my doctor said that the Wellbutrin dose I was on was typically a loading dose, and that normally I'd be moved to 300mg as maintenance. I was feeling pretty good on the 150, and I like to take lowest possible doses on everything, so I elected to stay on the 150. However, these last couple of days have me completely doubting myself. I'm completely back to my pre meds self. I'm crying all the time, hate myself, everything's a mess, and I'm freaking out over little things. What I really need to know is this: Would a physical illness like the flu cause a regression like this, or do I need to call my doc back and start talking about upping my dose?",4.3088824020016645,5.062714229357798,5.398867111481792,82.82914303586324,70.31498470948011,9.248206839032527,29.236725048651646,9.457814108942452,2.442096024464832,1271,47,263,27,22,421,161,327,0.153,0.736,0.111,-0.9385,2,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,2,15,15,2,1,21,0,22,11,0,2,1,43,50,21,0,6,3,0,3,3,1,1,11,2,1,1,16,20,0,0,8,1,2,6,4,8,0,0,13,5,32,7,46,33,8,59,1,2,0,0,10,23,1,5,31,172,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442524590204277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185769140161739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197029493910368,0.0,0.05805792364325368,0.0,0.08104292825712331,0.0,0.0,0.08423277108866865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972515320880174,0.0,0.0,0.09783856377533487,0.0,0.16408307710238773,0.1997163884251278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21076432530765876,0.10461757538922743,0.12284490761258827,0.09818910977639396,0.16406156805457908,0.0966674337645868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974830212900751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290566745135552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119262680540154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446987014304594,0.0,0.0,0.10433166974055824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358282604817977,0.0,0.09951880151322293,0.0,0.0,0.07988348632569646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403059807925353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383791819504744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702560190996925,0.15526796991369254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739019752794004,0.0,0.1395895706083294,0.09545632849073996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579108737374616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040812752115034,0.10122592565970057,0.0700129657889734,0.14123973163415302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933157881099828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950639237696356,0.0,0.0,0.1073697213158909,0.09121438448021747,0.09689415991565073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061013712028819236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133514516692425,0.09059583562273064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993569529535238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696477878757105,0.10151404850803407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899168545747394,0.07160924841698353,0.07655096842156693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327377293034557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33321414989654674,0.0,0.0,0.09100669086672017,0.0,0.0,0.10359466978733983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225749455985115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639644591998672,0.0,0.0,0.08828920004178238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765635032234425,0.0,0.0,0.06133196946393879
mentalhealth,yeet_beat_meat,2019/03/20,"Is this normal? I realized that I've been changing to very violent. I wish death among people. I told my friend I wish he had finished the job when he cut himself and that I hope his wife has miscarriages and when he finally has a child it has a brain tumor and dies at the age of 9. I do this when I'm mad, irritated, or annoyed. Am I normal.",1.7512785388127874,3.1120293561643844,4.026232876712331,87.86665525114157,77.35616438356166,7.606392694063928,24.495433789954337,8.344100000000001,1.3959789954337904,265,9,60,5,6,92,51,73,0.257,0.601,0.142,-0.8689,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,4,0,4,0,8,1,1,0,0,10,13,7,2,5,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,10,2,4,10,0,8,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,2,6,38,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601432350001453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24651928319558006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418527070946373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552775742644567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18004164399758132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314555404953057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312504846334706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45664807413758896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155657176963864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226741635024398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227761940146346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5359556562746338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snoop_dawg5,2019/03/20,"I get really depressed on some days- crying all day and leading to suicidal thoughts Hello Reddit. This is my first post on this sub as I just found it. I'm usually happy. People who know me will never believe if you told them I get this depressed. On most days I am usually fine. But on some days I get so emotionally drained, I don't know why. I get depressed to the point where I believe suicide is the only option. I did not have any significant mental health issues all my life. In the past year I had to leave my country and go abroad for university. During this time, my depressed days started to occur. When it occurred the first few times, I thought it was just temporary, but they all would be the same. I will look at suicide methods and it was the only thing that would calm me knowing my suffering will end. I will go on Suicide Watch sub and read all the posts. I usually don't do these things at all. The problem started when these days would start to occur frequently- maybe once or twice every three weeks. After a day or two, I will return back to my normal self. However in those times, I am unable to do anything. Even leaving my bed seems hard. I will put my studies on hold, even if I have exams. I don't even feel the drive to do anything.  


I also want to state that I have good friends and a very supportive family. Should I go see a therapist? I am unsure as this is not a constant feeling. Thanks for any advice.",2.8170979020979026,4.74167982867133,3.931040559440561,87.25486853146855,75.88811188811191,6.673902097902098,25.426013986013984,7.554174236665415,1.2940617062937063,1125,40,225,15,25,365,154,286,0.16699999999999998,0.768,0.065,-0.981,1,0,1,0,0,3,33.0,0,1,2,3,11,13,0,0,13,0,30,2,0,1,6,44,56,17,4,9,10,0,3,0,1,10,2,0,1,1,17,5,0,1,9,1,0,6,6,6,0,5,8,6,36,7,24,37,10,51,0,5,3,0,8,12,0,9,30,160,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787807941216644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447167290573036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096485387300911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326865510267254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199169596426274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166194931931268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712142791770658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855713058049519,0.3639519812462569,0.0,0.2777510690989729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068649135067916,0.07140526670769254,0.0,0.0,0.15974597153538667,0.0,0.06792570914644523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600122901345567,0.0,0.08152764713198338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371504234432574,0.0,0.08839551525978552,0.062286703840982977,0.0,0.16848219752812885,0.0,0.1374543729507719,0.06762011357508813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582134007806984,0.07221955919547801,0.0,0.0,0.08569514121326867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414618813089875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291969997475098,0.0,0.0,0.17072958227819432,0.0,0.0,0.05694419132246099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770037775984092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099348540423196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124585687507259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06217900607992576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899034557178714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585751974026548,0.0,0.12263007278271255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696077868642251,0.05589165992905052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621182633086591,0.0,0.15442308096285476,0.0,0.0,0.07714231805917425,0.0,0.08104522664328705,0.0,0.0,0.0806416768676701,0.0,0.05164714669819473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424359052245472,0.07339329266343704,0.08410409650624863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118945554421988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527401667790513,0.09148646172649888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422393545771443,0.0,0.09360587122193052,0.10712050534274184,0.0,0.0,0.12800632701040152,0.1410302660612784,0.0,0.0,0.07703573110730656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875388868503644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663741576682462,0.06651982768536087,0.04755168220982324,0.0,0.06466838876786518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274688402265103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718101063173515,0.0,0.0,0.051916546606720966
mentalhealth,mmiillkkk,2019/03/20,"I’m not sure if I’m depressed and if I should get help? My problems are considerably less serious than a lot of others on this subreddit (my heart goes out to you), and I feel like a bit of a twat asking this.

I think I might be developing symptoms of depression. For the past year or two, I feel I have been becoming lazier and I have lost interest in a lot of the things I like to do. I don’t sleep nearly as much as I should, but I tell myself that I function fine off 3-5 hours sleep. I’m starting to realise now that’s probably not true.

I can hardly maintain concentration for longer than 5 minutes anymore, and I haven’t been able to do proper school work in a few months (I’m usually a good student). Some very important exams are coming up so I’m starting to feel really anxious about this.

I’m ambitious, I desperately want to achieve my dreams, and I want to die on the same pedestal as all of my idols. But at the same time I feel feelings of low self esteem, and more often than not I think that I won’t be able to do what I want in my life. For this reason I feel sad about this a lot, and often feel that it would be considerably easier if I just died now. I quickly dismiss the thought because I have a mum and a dad who love me, and I love them etc. 

I love the arts and music and I want to create things, to play things and let myself go. But I don’t feel like I have enough time to do it, when I know I probably do it’s just I coast through my day, wasting a lot of time and often procrastinating. I rarely ever get anything done. I fear that with this recent spout of sadness a lot of my previous creativity and vigour I had had evaporated. I’ve been resorting to taking drugs like LSD, which is when I recently have been able to make my music, but I know it’s definitely not healthy to rely on these kind of things.

I struggle with loneliness a LOT, I have never had someone who I felt properly knew who I was, probably because I’m very bad at opening up, and being me. I have friends, and I’m not unpopular, but I find all of them see me as a completely different person to someone I see myself as. Often my friends see me as slightly pretentious, when in actual fact I feel pretty malformed compared to everyone else, and I don’t feel better in any respect.

But despite my loneliness, you might think I might try to get a girlfriend. A few very nice, kind and pretty people have made themselves available to me in the past year, but every time I push people away because I feel they’re too good for me, or that I’ll only let them down and cause each of us pain. 

I did some shit I’m not proud of in the past. I definitely caused some hurt in a few people because of my condition I got going on here. I think about it now, of these perfectly nice and wonderful women that I got along with very well that I pushed away for not reason at all, and I think how stupid I am, and how I deserve what’s happening.

I dream about meeting a beautiful girl, who I love and who I can express myself too, almost every night. Most nights I wake up with this horrible pit in my stomach. Some nights I wake up crying. 

But why I’m asking is because I don’t necessarily feel too sad. I hear stories of people with depression, and how it’s like carrying a weight of 1000 planets around on their shoulders, but I don’t feel this. I would say I just feel mostly numb with a low level of sadness to it all . 

To be honest, this quickly just became venting, and I don’t mind if this doesn’t get any replies, it actually helped to write about what I’m feeling. I want to know if I should actually consider myself depressed, and start taking actions towards helping myself. Thanks guys",5.160015715667313,4.994422610372343,6.170667311411992,81.2627272727273,68.24202127659575,9.336363636363636,30.654738878143128,9.033387906413283,2.32041914893617,2881,102,605,47,44,962,300,752,0.152,0.6579999999999999,0.19,0.984,1,0,1,0,0,1,74.0,1,2,4,7,34,51,2,2,27,0,54,18,8,9,10,149,126,55,2,16,27,2,18,5,3,9,5,2,0,5,42,38,1,0,32,4,0,6,17,21,1,1,17,23,102,30,96,93,28,70,0,12,3,4,37,33,1,28,36,425,144,7,0.15540977695247588,0.0,0.15165752417577627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05187348090737821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045598503734248,0.0,0.0,0.05852293744066596,0.05137491296135402,0.0,0.0,0.04262966822023866,0.04611588342459323,0.09685810844851367,0.0,0.09734173414924988,0.0,0.04325355742819912,0.15789392928138435,0.05721262957264744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045815772824299834,0.05655574188425511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643243368232308,0.0,0.044623920640825085,0.05431473144664357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056903447500455076,0.03340881646809303,0.0,0.17847228421998734,0.0,0.10752720829146256,0.05412337987681252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053012719648154315,0.0,0.0,0.060075333975387876,0.0,0.04327497563225862,0.0,0.0,0.05352661441463695,0.05777432734042126,0.0,0.04685901354371919,0.08729295990078619,0.049500233939256434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829306852046595,0.3928992638424731,0.07401651713812699,0.04973925246062918,0.0,0.047347240216355085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800461387752419,0.0,0.10826025887422754,0.0,0.05888197177453821,0.08690023169387384,0.08286359705480183,0.0,0.0,0.05129337089109247,0.04580945083680141,0.0,0.04640554485277125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838603782133051,0.061387111319195276,0.10416789759374256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051015775127519,0.0,0.055456460163028284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789024506346648,0.0854091490962939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594468417895936,0.03659017382488692,0.12654227827988274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056549376622416624,0.26424766971755825,0.18701785506987528,0.049017496201212325,0.03457907763082434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486521414317182,0.05230652412486145,0.0,0.04134886708923611,0.0,0.03808135591272973,0.0,0.039953866898198985,0.0,0.0,0.14584154792288734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0393987128017052,0.055122319960471663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835621708394212,0.14365542856405547,0.04523260760012078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540507598933843,0.16755802469047182,0.04956872266489693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03318649420350936,0.10652475611263064,0.10229893731025357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041196030774770825,0.0,0.052427663735972026,0.12384147125947205,0.0,0.05404209699146018,0.0,0.05317530091440404,0.0,0.0,0.10368134135651996,0.0,0.08778546645869642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099998400166946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054156013983637966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04882395852618175,0.053843421198145655,0.07789920752192188,0.0,0.045278331673220734,0.04769348088527013,0.0,0.0,0.13766313366380625,0.16596718316564732,0.0,0.04112600115324184,0.1208275876177452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03517101239501643,0.0,0.050604256719590235,0.0,0.06231294219089707,0.0,0.057053971061747824,0.1709724557523975,0.15277452162508118,0.0,0.0,0.06308241356348064,0.04657735114805861,0.0,0.046744383751706114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617842458923929,0.03771338951430423,0.0,0.0,0.07359909774847137,0.0,0.0,0.06671920069847312
mentalhealth,ddlovatic_staystrong,2019/03/20,"Depression Hey, so I was wondering if this is considered an eating disorder and if so what type. 
I am very careful of what I eat and only eat so much a day. If I ate a lot the day before I will barley eat the next day. I also count my calories.
",0.4883018867924527,2.1538325471698165,3.6836226415094337,87.53260377358494,82.01886792452831,7.258867924528303,21.92075471698113,8.238735603445708,1.2346784905660382,187,6,42,4,5,68,36,53,0.127,0.835,0.038,-0.6712,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,4,5,0,0,0,7,7,9,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,4,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,4,31,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14653330861504454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559198565406367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682073472876254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35451508447966873,0.0,0.15782040891799504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21000367962433272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7499823660576795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578021156139416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469912571726125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948729604875616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935880279412946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511884212077302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871100949465104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,greeneggsandSam2,2019/03/20,Therapy apps Has anyone one here used a therapy app? I’ve been hearing a lot about them lately and was wondering if they were a good alternative to a more traditional therapist.,7.372727272727275,8.063559151515154,8.723787878787878,61.90568181818182,63.54545454545455,13.872727272727275,37.71212121212121,13.023866798666859,5.7750121212121215,144,7,24,6,2,50,29,33,0.0,0.903,0.097,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,7,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,1,2,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,18,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19088218884839386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289725397385554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3076815586019629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079466006132846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23208783557819396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498628445108475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.624379747482078,0.3169644789833917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357772339217609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960479231407123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CutieMiyuki,2019/03/20,"My Middle School Experience. I’m sorry this isn’t well done it’s 10 at night I’m on mobile and I just finished from crying. I just wanted to let it out.

So this is kinda a rant about how me going to a small Catholic Middle School nearly ruined my life.
So I suffered and still suffering from major Anxiety and OCD. Back when I was in middle school my anxiety was at its peak. My family was having financial issues when I just finished 6th grade so we moved away from my big home and my best friend to where my family lived when I was a baby. My mom thought it was a good idea to have me and my sister go to a smaller private school to help my anxiety (Guess what it made it worse!). So context this school is small and was one class per grade. This school was also at the time K-8 so all my classmates knew each other for a while... So basically I was the newbie.
From day 1 I was immediately targeted and bullied. First it was minor but it slowly increased and I became the whole classes punching bag. Through this time there was 3 main kids who instigated it but everyone basically bullied me. At this point I had no friends in my class. So I basically just drew or read during lunch and recess. The only friends I had was my sisters. I sometime hung out with her and her friends during recess (I’m still friends with them!). Anyways I basically became the weird quiet girl no one wanted to hang out with. The class did lots of things to me. It didn’t help I had weight issues at the time and OCD so they basically found me weird and gross. So yeah for those 3 years I had no break ending up crying away in the counselors office. Those 3 years basically grew my self esteem to 0 and my anxiety to 100%. I also thing I got depression during that time. I had to go to constant therapy and I take meds. So I finally graduate and move onto Highschool my self esteem and anxiety still at their worse. Half way through Freshmen year I broke down and had to go to the Hospital for 2 days. After that I ended up being to scared to go back and ended up finishing Highschool at home and now I’m currently having trouble going to college and I’m to scared.
But to clear up when I started home school I began to better myself too. I lost weight about 50-70 pounds through those years and gained self confidence. I’ve been more social somewhat thanks to Therapy. I also made friends through conventions (I’m a weed). Happy to say I getting better but it left a huge gap in life and did mess it up and still effecting me. ",2.2496101674202613,4.4844834351297465,3.706932257933115,86.69666381522671,78.92015968063873,6.5648458185669485,23.198541692125954,7.6729893032291185,1.1494847936779509,1975,65,393,31,49,650,226,501,0.14400000000000002,0.727,0.129,-0.2934,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,1,0,3,7,36,26,0,2,17,1,31,5,0,4,2,56,58,47,0,2,9,3,2,0,6,0,2,2,3,5,28,31,3,0,5,1,0,11,5,13,1,4,31,4,57,13,65,25,10,84,1,6,0,0,25,35,0,5,36,276,85,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530160960372222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439601257330287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984804648301155,0.09808677078017207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693386061262976,0.11281760940652195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892422765084291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012010533162872,0.08226648978476761,0.0,0.05493418316939632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526975242542273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947218298622135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094514742233682,0.0,0.06238971740801109,0.12025344706735752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986858804116887,0.0,0.054251791056166496,0.0,0.06993219421098075,0.2956606468304236,0.0,0.033322758863961716,0.0,0.21748809034240774,0.05349618587780277,0.05101121486261274,0.0,0.07026158022868335,0.0,0.0,0.06789569136112716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550165484491833,0.0,0.19193158664271626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720005940903235,0.0,0.13314086247904544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929786635546037,0.06522003920045093,0.09010032319051947,0.0,0.0,0.05631948531895774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962411731475139,0.05422403055949231,0.0,0.12070159247823525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084592742092566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469913020895351,0.0,0.135577481249765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05985382243761631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864388425715923,0.04850806084869789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602933330325675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379791318185413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05072093541748717,0.1277111210188614,0.4518459830963496,0.0,0.0,0.1996113940914987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501634388223379,0.0,0.0,0.06308069691281794,0.07139721949342985,0.04514427463432185,0.0,0.20374124823732054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479551136296918,0.0,0.0,0.05872065629435395,0.14587747101803422,0.0,0.08474606388787055,0.0,0.0,0.05063471429753748,0.14876404723834755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523896355110776,0.05062611378995107,0.0,0.15533530605535953,0.05734646700344506,0.0,0.0,0.07120882159428672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999586915264574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429059820035274
mentalhealth,insanityismysanity,2019/03/20,"Should I see a psychiatrist? Mother was schizophrenic My mom was bipolar and schizophrenic and one of my biggest fears is becoming schizophrenic. I believe I have social anxiety and it can be amplified smoking weed. Was at a friends house one day, smoked, and later thought I heard someone ask if I was insane. Found out it was never said after the situation. ",5.171927083333333,7.976590671875003,5.716875000000003,73.07395833333338,71.96875,9.266666666666666,34.104166666666664,9.725611199111238,4.067841666666666,289,15,45,8,6,93,47,64,0.114,0.8370000000000001,0.049,-0.4767,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,10,4,0,0,1,10,16,5,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,9,3,7,1,4,5,0,7,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,1,4,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18155232245924666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22186604053780629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621058741568741,0.0,0.26738304353952513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15305444113169245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26705564481077343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602136770409881,0.1833560468491187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738402012681691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779511720280505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830390123216156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216339672806857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257496099687703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891166182699853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26676228411607283,0.0,0.2419220803842721,0.20108397915192047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840886292701586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kurtlebiz,2019/03/20,"Is it healthy to work 12 hour shifts daily, and at least one 5 -12 hour shift on the weekend? I work for an undisclosed company largely involved in the forging and manufacturing of various metallic parts for NASA, Lockheed Martin, Caterpillar, SpaceX, etc.  I’m pretty well compensated for the work that I do, however it costs me in having zero social life or really any time at all for anything except work.  An average day goes like this:  get up at 3-400 p.m.  and get ready, drive half hour to work, work 12 hours,  it’s now 5:00 am,  get home,  talk to girlfriend for maybe 1 hour at most,  do laundry, take shower, get ready for bed,  it’s close to 8:00 pm,  sleep, repeat.   

This isn’t temporary,  the job will always be 65 hours a week minimum. We are 100% employee owned, and we all get a percentage of the companies earnings every 6 months, so we choose to understaff to have bigger dividends.  So 24 hours we operate, and only have 2 shifts.   Except for office staff, and desk jobs.   

It’s straining me mentally and physically.   I don’t know if I can keep the pace up.   I feel like by choosing to stay, I’m choosing to miss out on my life with my girlfriend, and my life for myself.   

You can retire early working here, and the stocks you get allow you to be a millionaire after working here for 20 years.   But I’m not sure it’s worth this.  

What do you guys think?

",5.580845864661653,5.762076360902256,6.198261278195492,80.23506109022559,67.34586466165413,9.507142857142858,30.158834586466163,9.354420925462401,2.4606022556390976,1056,36,210,19,16,345,162,266,0.029,0.893,0.078,0.9141,5,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,4,4,0,9,6,6,0,1,12,0,16,4,1,1,3,34,31,14,0,1,6,0,1,2,2,1,3,0,3,1,11,16,0,1,6,1,3,1,3,2,1,3,0,1,19,4,36,28,8,32,0,1,0,0,14,13,0,3,19,124,30,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505373243953324,0.0,0.0,0.061339180266529965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422701995515847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817162061510139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059698626407224,0.0,0.0,0.07599749830359137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04560789502580377,0.06443898960506994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827550646521166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931230815662093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047808304811407,0.0,0.6218026978765729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17901941825009907,0.08017401838491837,0.0,0.0,0.04957163151861705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19113305423567706,0.08813445290285195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061815249273993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090051392360457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719968817655213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061121941262336124,0.06860126206544884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767794889644177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176595790535824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057784511827754716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026526964845466,0.09194767152441607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614133514651656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501255334875399,0.0,0.06781927085789026,0.07249944632270089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057796600025563014,0.0,0.0,0.05259642012049548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235310204985945,0.0,0.08110074784687155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5253341408321666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05808592522996255
mentalhealth,JLCrispy,2019/03/20,"My ever fluid emotional mind My mind is in a perpetual loop.
Of sadness, happiness, and tiredness.
The untamed nature of my mind is driving me insane. The very low lows, but very strange highs that are no necessarily manic or euthoric. Just random bursts of temporary clarity.

Hitting me like a brick wall, my failures, my self-consciousness, the ever so heavy tiredness. But my lust hurts so deeply, unable to love the man I made myself believe was the love of life. I cannot escape my own torture. 

Everyday is unpredictable. Everyday I stray. 

Kind regards, 
JC

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mentalhealth,OneDayIllOwnALambo,2019/03/20,I wake up in the middle of the night confused I’ve had this happen if I take a nap which is more frequent or if I go to sleep I’ll wake up anywhere from within 30 minutes or a few hours and I’ll be half awake anxious and confused to what’s going on and I always think i slept a whole day kind of feeling. Does anyone else have this? I feel like it affects my mental health and at the same time my mental health causes it. ,0.6268719806763272,2.459469489130438,2.377101449275365,96.22683574879228,82.36956521739131,4.088888888888889,18.917874396135264,3.1291,-0.7037792270531402,331,8,75,0,9,109,64,92,0.078,0.878,0.044,-0.4391,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,6,0,4,6,4,2,0,16,12,8,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,2,0,1,2,2,8,2,11,9,4,14,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,6,6,48,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652031065887064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22429629717397226,0.0,0.13882539930229398,0.2034300589636984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20395764308962355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804336478078227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17374571319829074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585662338720492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20077791465746456,0.14183866574219262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256723400584825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557030879875052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220823819733962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955241817819514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20675126307067845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969977437749512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4001679011177191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18631850805728464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986856946122681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492791080221203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721789528829058,0.0,0.0,0.11577161743889194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216653984596082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anonny-Moose,2019/03/20,"Is a doctor able to fix me? I’m going to try to make this as short yet explanative as I possibly can, but all I’m asking for is some advice and to hear your experiences...

My whole life seems to be nothing but trauma. As a child, I endured every type of abuse, for what I’d sum up as my entire childhood. I never grasped the events I was going through but I know as a child I despised myself and never really felt “present,” I would frequently get this strange, spacey feeling and remember constantly asking those around me, at random times, stupid questions such as, “Is this real?”

I have never actually seen or spoke to a professional about the trauma I’ve experienced. The last time I’ve ever even seen a doctor was as a small child for simple check ups - my mother never really believed in them and I’m not even sure if I do. Although, I have been talking with my mom about potentially seeing her doctor (whom I’ve never met), but would it actually help me? 

In my teen years, I felt almost as though I was able to not let my trauma affect me as much. I felt like all I needed to feel “better” was to cry and write my heart and feelings out onto paper. Four years ago, when I was 18, I had gone through yet another extremely traumatizing event and since then, I feel as if I don’t know who I am anymore; every day I struggle with finding the motivation and strength to even get out of bed (also every night I struggle with getting INTO bed and going to sleep). There are times where I won’t shower for almost two weeks and I’m now underweight, weighing 90 pounds, because I simply just don’t get hungry - and I don’t see a point in feeding myself (more so spending money, having to talk to someone & order food (or go upstairs and make food), and then take the time to sit and eat it) when I go about my day not feeling physically hungry.  

I’ve gotten so bad to the point where my boyfriend of over three years has threatened to kick me out for not helping around the house as much as him. Mind you, I don’t just live with him but also his family which is another daily struggle for me. Growing up I never felt comfortable even spending the night at a friends house. Because of that, I live in constant fear that I might do something wrong, or maybe that my bf’s family will see me after I haven’t showered for days, and judge me or no longer like me. 

I feel as though I have tried everything I possibly can to fix myself on my own and try to become who I once was, which wasn’t as terrible as I am today. I have researched about many different experiences people have had with taking medication but I’m hoping if I try it, that’ll be what will heal me. I tried to see a therapist once but for some reason after two appointments he lied to me and told me he could no longer see me because he didn’t accept my insurance (but he did— and that made me further question if “professional help”, more specifically therapeutic help, could truly help me). 

Sorry this post was so long but if you took the time to actually read it, I sincerely thank you. All I want is some help and insight. Please (and thank you).  ",6.223866362078809,5.748305249190942,6.869373691224062,78.18685322672759,66.0873786407767,9.665410241766608,30.63601751380164,9.088552180705676,2.377633390443556,2436,77,484,37,34,805,274,618,0.115,0.762,0.122,0.1973,3,0,1,0,1,0,68.0,0,5,1,3,29,24,2,4,18,0,48,13,2,6,11,109,101,65,0,12,24,2,10,2,2,7,6,2,4,3,21,31,5,0,22,1,4,8,20,12,0,4,25,20,80,12,79,64,12,77,0,0,7,0,41,25,0,20,43,337,101,10,0.11297157866479494,0.06692642373426584,0.16536594664604984,0.0,0.0,0.05519725959366036,0.0500712440856658,0.0,0.11312471732206406,0.0,0.0,0.09034333064272937,0.0,0.061202329142139175,0.0,0.0,0.11846055040343816,0.0,0.0,0.05601872483336839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056865637721936,0.10561317600945358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047163274679555264,0.10329963868466374,0.0623841164545518,0.0,0.06364014152601075,0.0,0.049957090395524574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220821426480544,0.0,0.0901986129828184,0.0,0.06204698721330941,0.10928598349990963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05901562746494081,0.0,0.17344679666862786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05779906417980873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923332449552668,0.05109463032362292,0.14277514117398676,0.0,0.050765785227237036,0.11050788148053284,0.1064995501521435,0.06356221698316249,0.1713654737671748,0.0,0.2169408636550217,0.0,0.0516269881234556,0.0,0.1366056813495973,0.0,0.04364078071915156,0.0,0.11804597424479495,0.0,0.16051087896563734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636635898397355,0.06693593232736292,0.2271674035210109,0.0,0.0,0.05610313405671877,0.0,0.13035403392467868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208622517215093,0.04604345736377773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776054662169128,0.039897583488722216,0.05519220692076441,0.0,0.09975597369628153,0.049988146055042135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344821963556322,0.07540940599743566,0.05726772458784452,0.056747567590504026,0.0,0.0,0.056903490145957476,0.0,0.0599224961064037,0.05703454493722869,0.06615547377659681,0.0,0.0,0.08304710899506501,0.041883497061134964,0.2613919378296009,0.0,0.0,0.1060161736722926,0.0,0.05419963829459817,0.0,0.0,0.12031104428453633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039160134098927615,0.0,0.0,0.062004434322788265,0.10679465747946668,0.12735848065294894,0.05409777206609506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655402286493422,0.0,0.056501075189197676,0.06429319457332948,0.07237248609526671,0.0580767991286331,0.0,0.0,0.06398738806705481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22505930429061244,0.0514225411503333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04672562864380017,0.0,0.056526582693915986,0.0,0.04786022599802568,0.043485520274062,0.0,0.0632312165979328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771536341698656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053237187963926465,0.0,0.08494056766948907,0.0908022756434193,0.0,0.10400905142427117,0.0,0.06558435505674592,0.0,0.0,0.11099400245012678,0.0,0.16468659003202976,0.0,0.0535419235771254,0.05397459235242832,0.06275779033002163,0.19175071566053,0.0,0.11035681694309757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033316782044585484,0.0,0.04530949303216025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063064366565791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802517681705312,0.06175834334721285,0.0,0.10912498911214334
mentalhealth,clam14,2019/03/20,"I feel like im losing my mind Ok so in a 15 year old male and I seriously feel like in losing my mind. I really can't see myself living with this and im terrified of death. Ive had low-mediocre ocd for the past six years, very very bad misophonia for the past 2-3 years and I seriously cannot get through a single day without   being badly affected by these problems ( especially misophonia in school, it's horrible ). I've broke down crying a lot recently and am as I write this. I just seriously feel like my mind is getting more and more fucked each day. Also some of my 'friends' say I have mental illness because of the way I act which also isn't great. It seems to be becoming more than s joke and it's not like I can fight them or something because they're part of my only friend group. It's just a shitty situation. ",1.80820588235294,3.7925319823529406,3.963161764705884,85.57297794117648,79.17647058823529,7.308823529411764,23.56617647058824,8.278499904357787,1.4436764705882354,647,22,136,13,16,222,107,170,0.256,0.618,0.126,-0.9796,0,1,1,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,5,20,2,0,7,1,11,2,0,1,0,25,19,11,1,1,5,0,3,4,2,0,1,1,0,1,8,8,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,11,0,1,1,5,17,9,17,16,8,15,0,3,1,1,8,4,1,4,13,81,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19069853036934667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19910638903417105,0.14536464503212135,0.13168165532128978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097003609724658,0.15378871020977905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808608547579434,0.25553669453758765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423568597939166,0.11022745910932187,0.12458691551633536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145298108194642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25758063010169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23300165430590514,0.0,0.10528346389327548,0.0,0.0,0.26677875837547776,0.0,0.10136622753611173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201571543469096,0.0,0.3611690145504708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511324189154033,0.0,0.0,0.09068081222641412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911592988025533,0.2276396241965183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11408829661267955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638265403409743,0.0,0.11772657106695275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481755279575754,0.0,0.1206684887051817,0.09501194669010443,0.10854374036756853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402102971819796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179011610058926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675669651955024,0.0,0.09464029355159967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493476380686345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303432351033367
mentalhealth,noonelook123,2019/03/20,"Living for other people I wasn’t sure where to post this, I’m not even sure if it has a name or maybe I’m just over analysing myself but it would be great to get some answers.
I’ve had depression and anxiety for all my life (20 years old now), I don’t know if this is relevant but I feel like my problem has ties with anxiety but I don’t really know. Anyways the gist of it is, whenever something happens to me, good/mundane/bad I automatically think about how I’m going to tell other people, like how I’m going to frame it to them. Is this normal? Am I okay haha. ",0.8792500000000025,2.848920425,3.3550000000000004,88.82000000000002,82.25,6.333333333333332,20.833333333333336,7.492282038375204,0.6875833333333339,441,13,97,7,12,153,78,120,0.1,0.727,0.172,0.8442,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,0,2,2,12,1,0,2,3,25,24,9,0,5,8,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,1,11,7,12,20,2,8,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,4,5,63,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29910722796551764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16323067659997822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838009079329205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912301305505228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988484593112776,0.13966210978236965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213839251409244,0.0,0.22220933175851532,0.1639724505855112,0.0,0.2155346108899372,0.0,0.0,0.1728761308749504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21487855988044724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808433769318704,0.19101856984980944,0.0,0.17262621384931376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964016263954705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19154419966508374,0.0,0.0,0.20513976698224332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710640950249687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187230763701147,0.0,0.0,0.18706290580188886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523949993737268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050207910423544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685046159612375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708717884443792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526569934272835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887447919831264,0.0,0.0,0.12589276951728115
mentalhealth,maiumas,2019/03/20,"I (17F) just started my first trial of antidepressants i’m feeling kind of nervous about it. i’ve never been on real medication before and i’m hopeful that i have a positive experience. i was a regular weed smoker and now i can’t smoke, or drink, so it’s an adjustment. i’m looking for support, if anyone has any stories of their first time on sertraline?",2.6118571428571435,5.011865614285718,5.167142857142856,75.82785714285714,78.57142857142857,8.0,30.0,8.841846274778883,2.9902857142857147,283,14,50,7,7,100,54,70,0.032,0.8009999999999999,0.168,0.8402,0,0,3,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,4,4,0,1,3,0,5,2,0,0,1,10,13,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,2,6,3,7,11,0,8,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,3,6,34,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17826796603672462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832982665061128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230665584748759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568028430114589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564286535462687,0.0,0.0,0.13254866866720905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4459617485371061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603696846441587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729842543890917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22013624226900308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26408406648862826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021828119632122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983790313549978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18554797233807765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297479668051497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285918062406825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PaulWhoLovesYou,2019/03/20,"I have always been sensitive to atmospheres, and things that should normally make feel depressed. Here is some examples of what I mean:

-When I was a kid i sometimes found a song that for some reason made feel sad, or uncomfortable for some reason, and some of them wasn't even sad songs. It was just the tone of the song. One of the song I rember was ""Human"" by the Killers, and ""Nothing on you"" by Bruno Mars. I didn't even know if the song was sad or not. Just the atmosphere made made me feel sad.

-Light can often change my mood. I don't like white lit rooms for some reason. White light in darkness sometimes just make uncomfortable. I often think ""I don't want to die there"".

I have always felt alone with the first one. I can't find people who have felt the same. It can relate to my wild fantasy as a kid, because when I listen to music I always pictures images. ""Nothing on you"" made me feel like being in a isolated town all alone. The second one thing I think is just seasonal depression. 




",2.402941490782794,4.626228791878177,3.188709591236975,90.66841303767029,78.34010152284263,6.380870959123698,20.52070531659097,7.475848149327749,0.5833715736040612,780,20,161,11,19,246,104,197,0.209,0.775,0.015,-0.9877,0,2,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,2,1,1,12,9,0,0,13,0,19,0,0,9,1,45,38,9,1,4,8,0,6,2,0,1,0,6,1,3,8,4,0,0,15,6,0,0,6,6,0,5,14,17,21,2,19,22,7,10,0,6,3,0,8,6,0,10,6,111,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24105384922671286,0.0,0.0,0.2904939940845328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093966103881373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310678765023185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004631116125095,0.0,0.12077639310394955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537260186513075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353659466304392,0.08313661362646407,0.22347190458430274,0.0,0.10636245444515396,0.09898647998583099,0.0,0.12759655686692153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639553413493073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370755505433475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44045829770800615,0.15535923751659506,0.0,0.0,0.1267638847200898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402044652454887,0.22332530982700907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365712705600742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067811295137234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589512651910711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301909677410803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462557813492053,0.14913373517174036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863957866382613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thecrowhero,2019/03/20,"Searching for a mental health professional to assist with indie game about improving mental health stigmas and societal issues!  Hello everyone!
My name is Michael, the founder and head of design at Keyhole Games, as well as the lead developer of The Outcasts: Guardian Angel an indie title that is looking to improve/teach about mental health stigmas and societal issues such as bullying, abuse, depression and more.

I'm searching some volunteers for the game, whether it's cowriting or offering advise for the game itself.
If anyone is interested in finding out more, please message me! Thanks a ton!



Michael Shumate",8.974133148404992,10.959719728155342,7.905852981969487,64.58932038834952,60.45631067961165,10.15755894590846,41.898751733703186,10.290406445055957,5.11396643550624,504,28,65,11,7,155,73,103,0.102,0.775,0.123,-0.4357,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,8,0,3,4,1,2,0,14,6,10,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,3,16,6,4,4,1,1,1,0,11,3,0,3,0,45,5,3,0.0,0.20729531366214413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233393026244628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506901189324931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717881260035822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990743415450356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17955625128463348,0.5579130001517751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3652190902679902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691972937493716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.528946205319457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920501342253172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107680446443384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730726179108107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fartspatula,2019/03/20,"Brother (33) is in a mental health crisis and I need advice/suggestions. I’m fairly new to Reddit (I love it already) so I apologize in advance if this is off topic or breaks rules.

    Recently, my brother was petitioned (basically, taken against his will for mental evaluation) by my father due to some alarming behavior and dialogue.
    He was evaluated and released 5 days later, prescribed meds and recommended therapy etc., all good things, except he’s not in a place to take care of himself mentally/physically. He hasn’t taken any meds and hasn’t followed any orders.
   A week removed now, he’s back to his psychosis: thinks everyone is out to get him, setting boobie traps around his duplex, talking and acting like it’s 10 years ago (he was involved in gang activity), on and on. 
     We know it’s not (strictly) drugs and alcohol. He was detoxed while detained against his will, yet exhibits the same alarming mental traits.
   His neighbor thinks it’s PTSD: he had a near break in weeks ago which seemed to trigger this mental break. 
     To make a long story short, he’s acting very erratic, has been beat up in his neighborhood numerous times for talking “crazy”.
     I’m at a point where I don’t know what to do mentally, physically, legally, etc. We live in Southern Arizona, for the record. He’s already been taken against his will, evaluated and let out, yet he is still a danger to himself and others. My only thought is to try petition him again but it just feels like Ground Hogs Day. 
    If anyone has any suggestions or advice or has dealt with something similar, I would love to hear your thoughts.

  This was more than intended to write, so thank you if you made it this. There are several more details of his erratic behavior, I tried to keep it concise.
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mentalhealth,Atea2,2019/03/20,"Anyone else went from ""I hate myself and I don't deserve to live in this world"" to ""This world doesn't deserve me""? Happens to me in periods: basically going from hating and blaming myself for everything, to loving myself and being mad at the world instead of myself for how I feel.

Have you experienced this?",4.265689655172416,6.485870051724143,5.616758620689655,75.45410344827587,72.6206896551724,7.398620689655173,27.11724137931035,8.238735603445708,2.1564165517241376,245,9,40,4,5,82,38,58,0.206,0.735,0.059,-0.8708,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,5,11,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,2,10,1,12,9,0,9,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21318578952683795,0.3123952673763396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546960093956843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274014974488217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416126469263608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17327569822067018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696127299964041,0.0,0.0,0.6020304125150667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692229664633273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751746285012964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28263557080100543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yangladesh08,2019/03/20,"I have so much to be grateful for, how can I rewire my majorly depressed brain to be able to be present & be happy? I am in therapy for my depression, anxiety & anger. I'm a hub for all things negative, and I do not want to live like this anymore. I can't. Tiny things trigger thoughts of suicide, so as I keep trying to get better, the worse I seem to get. Is trying to be better bad? Its effecting my work & personal life. I have been on different antidepressants, therapy methods, amino acid treatment, etc. All to basic diet & exercise. I'm doing everything that I should be or have been told by professionals, but nothing seems to change. Its more likely for me to lie to myself & others just so they (and myself) don't have to hear how I'm still miserably depressed. 27yo female. I've exhausted my personal connections fo a shoulder to lean on because as a person, I'm exhausting. I wear people down so I lose a lot of people. This is the last avenue I have. I need advice that I can start implementing & even if I've tried it before, I'm happy to try anything again for the sake of attaining stability, so if you have a suggestion, please lmk & try to tell me how to do it properly. Please no trolls.",3.5643301435406727,5.1283657809917385,5.2244758590691625,80.2914027838191,73.00826446280992,8.896389734667247,28.02609830361027,9.414487439383343,2.5633603305785133,957,37,186,23,19,325,137,242,0.166,0.7509999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9654,1,0,1,0,0,1,46.0,0,1,1,6,12,15,1,1,8,0,25,8,3,5,2,23,41,16,1,5,6,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,0,3,11,2,1,1,4,1,0,0,5,9,0,0,4,2,24,6,31,30,7,9,0,5,0,0,9,4,0,6,7,126,35,2,0.08580146556127616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384419911763416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6507609646171835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563788630543756,0.0,0.08509199829522603,0.0,0.0,0.07060729539826739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164063981405483,0.05230377702574309,0.0,0.07301072761609906,0.0,0.0,0.15176884741361654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578281181473776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076657369549933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217020296854242,0.0,0.0,0.08964426960049532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956913146939449,0.05667105879032872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711282473603781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965544886174448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826745111234952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670448754813264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626428493006805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993964620149858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060411257672413,0.08383652414761783,0.0,0.07576426604632686,0.0,0.0,0.09598989279815773,0.0,0.07294533773075257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307394963069715,0.06362069952726379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232882028436739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189678656163158,0.22475559063389974,0.0,0.1883684869794957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622086353861206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607307189419909,0.0,0.06852116123150655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385287718265456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499426275323531,0.0,0.19624290708237985,0.0,0.11400536234336565,0.0,0.0,0.06811677953894653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198697728482704,0.0,0.29126781479993724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050607927427358736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062464488819131865,0.0,0.0874390236312161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alyced90,2019/03/20,"I am heartbroken I have been at a job for over nine years. I have a extremely good work ethic. Even with low self esteem, my work ethic is one of the only things I like about myself. 

This April will be two years since I was in the hospital from a failed suicide attempt. 
I just found out today that two co workers were talking about me and laughing behind my back saying how I need to get out of here like I keep saying I’m going too, or that someone needs to lock me up again. 

I have been sobbing for over an hour. My heart is broken. And I have no clue how I’m going to go to work tomorrow and face everyone. Let alone doing not only my job but theirs as well. 

I just needed to vent. I just found out about this. And it’s really hurting me that people can say such hateful things. 
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mentalhealth,Nearby225,2019/03/20,"Psychosomatic Ever since I can remember, I suffered from mood swing. Anything extreme, I don't experience a real mania and my depression isn't too hard to manage, I'm completely functional... Ok maybe when I'm too depressed I don't go out and when I'm too high I become too extroverted and talkative but I don't think I'm bipolar, at least not type 1. 

However, lately I have experienced something that it's so strange and I'm so confused. I have scoliosis. Doctors say that in my case scoliosis might cause problems or might not cause problems, might cause pain or might not cause pain. 

When I'm depressed I become hypochondriac and during the last down I was in a lot of feet/neck pain and I felt sick and nauseated, mostly during the evening, it has also happened in the past but not that hard. 

I felt so anxious that I spent the entire weekend searching for stories of chronic illness, disability, I was sure of having something terrible, I complained a lot with my family, I become almost obsessed etc... 

Suddenly, in the evening, I felt so relaxed despite I was still feeling pain. I went to sleep and the next day I was feeling so good, I did a lot of things during the day (after 3 days of lethargy), I went to the gym and I feel fine now, I have 0 pain and I'm not concerned about my physical health anymore.

It's not the first time that something like this happen and I'm quite confused, I don't understand if my symptoms were real or if my brain was overreacting. Is it possible that my brain was making my pain worse or I was in a bad mood because I was just sick?

I know that it's impossible to say but I would like to have just an opinion, I'm not asking for a diagnosis etc... obv ",2.6021958955223847,4.8396969761194075,4.308334888059703,82.81996501865677,77.74626865671642,7.053171641791044,28.080690298507466,8.07648339933343,2.0372854477611937,1337,59,257,24,32,449,158,335,0.254,0.672,0.073,-0.9969,1,0,3,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,2,21,27,0,3,16,1,28,17,3,5,2,65,54,29,0,5,18,0,8,2,0,5,14,2,0,0,14,13,0,0,10,3,1,3,12,18,0,1,16,11,37,7,24,33,7,30,0,4,0,0,4,9,0,18,20,174,51,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339201204377285,0.0,0.0,0.058612113847134675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279984405040007,0.07268662454983195,0.0,0.0,0.06031361436931814,0.0,0.06851874346434382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119630979410313,0.04467852535344217,0.24283795449252876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363769614505932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011670054920133,0.0,0.0,0.07684595972273314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418031073510856,0.0,0.1893805823876653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501814334596618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348138022817638,0.096818221587474,0.06629740719541335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169428539176756,0.06909379711570797,0.0,0.11117691351927314,0.0,0.21111734272219612,0.0,0.0,0.062342699287429526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04165390779687718,0.061474405992449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962491464708895,0.0,0.13131165470902514,0.0,0.0,0.07790667042691167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743771950147264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04027972925328284,0.05974330026847684,0.08267731305994658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161418319426989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869323960838292,0.0,0.0,0.04892341978120556,0.0,0.07363232833015483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110077203314329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794757556339278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679313475388023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996613735660955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262646190175071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026235475935098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795576584815597,0.0,0.16684618612657884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302629640694636,0.0,0.0,0.11657053021662853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606284458667953,0.0,0.07334559123899008,0.0,0.0,0.16927281163130276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585316130768602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907746481436777,0.07617913716081802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04869238668346492,0.046962977200289364,0.0,0.0,0.04273753954113512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630024402726196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588606050537833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469148226646669,0.05206500290592928,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mannysmom79,2019/03/20,My MI will NOT win!!! After going through IOP treatment and “graduating”..I’m 1 month and 1 day out..and I’m back to some old habits! I need Sue!!,-1.4740000000000002,0.43544626666666986,0.91,99.225,103.0,3.733333333333334,16.0,5.6839178017228535,-0.7638000000000003,108,3,26,1,5,36,26,30,0.156,0.8440000000000001,0.0,-0.6416,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4042463879812721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390460414067694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29877890854721795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4196248531177125,0.0,0.0,0.3898148716993048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5516549210020881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deceitfulsymmetry,2019/03/20,"My fiancé got diagnosed with BPD and MDD from his first session I don't mean to sound like an idiot, but I'm really just curious to hear other thoughts on this.  
is it even okay for a therapist to diagnose a patient from first session in one hour? and immediately put that patient on heavy meds the next day? 

This is the first time he's going to therapy, he has no history whatsoever other than just anxiety and depression episodes from what he has told me in the past

​

I'm just curious to the legitimacy of the diagnosis, I would understand if she told him sessions later in a subtle way, but she just threw it in his face and told him ""you're gonna take these meds and if you don't stay on them you'll get suicidal thoughts, and next time we'll do an MRI""  


This all just happened in the matter of 2 weeks and we never spoke of this before the 2 weeks, it's all just happening fast and it's confusing me ..  I'm being as supportive as I can of course, I'm just scared for him getting the wrong diagnosis or something ... again I'm sorry if this sounds dumb I'm really new to all this..",5.4166540186271135,5.281870775784757,6.6040358744394645,78.26779234218698,67.69955156950672,10.62835460503622,31.05519144532597,10.389873798559362,2.9641993101069333,865,31,181,21,13,293,122,223,0.14800000000000002,0.789,0.063,-0.9723,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,2,2,1,3,9,9,2,2,13,1,12,4,1,0,4,34,37,16,1,4,13,0,0,1,0,4,3,4,0,0,15,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,6,0,4,8,4,18,3,27,24,3,30,0,1,0,0,20,8,1,5,18,115,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869446495690404,0.1443266465462104,0.0,0.0,0.09086382224484976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107019207178206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495950493309203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660112161824134,0.0,0.10230216597224566,0.24111162584538776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845086583669099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030941071320854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411180839595227,0.0,0.0675035149079723,0.0,0.0949965480187232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100676220102549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13386993185557355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697108751889275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05802827800035462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938260680088126,0.2638681930747584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160788501175723,0.11471524146642365,0.2526406576181194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804861409510699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338576488756745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940335285428395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218274379722055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891616062338807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144007823698663,0.0,0.13296075006796135,0.0,0.12660011923729314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992239131237807,0.13478634983648238,0.0,0.0,0.08930526879110309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358314658623365,0.13790886069007754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859080620351173,0.13851925498146686,0.0,0.0,0.3404885752598001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365069527911952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427938665254723,0.1905509494483473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437553367099708,0.1298636353403418,0.1443266465462104,0.0
mentalhealth,Akuahealth,2019/03/20,"Benefits of yoga in Substance Abuse Recovery & Mental Health Including even a brief 5- or 10-minute yoga regime to your daily routine can enable you to stay focused and aid to alleviate anxiety. Below given are few points which explain what yoga can do to your health:

​

• Yoga reduces cortisol levels, a stress hormone and improves feelings of relaxation, and well being.

​

• Yoga assists in decreasing symptoms of anxiety and depression

​

• Yoga exercises help in improved muscle development, increased blood flow, and natural endorphin production. 

​

• Yoga is a mind-body practice that helps improve memory and concentration

​

• Yoga has been proven to be helpful for people suffering from traumatic experiences.

​

• Yoga therapy is being used to ease the effects of cancer or to lessen a substance abuse problem.  
",13.193301587301585,13.850028266666673,11.685502645502648,45.63333333333336,51.51851851851853,13.936507936507935,52.61904761904761,13.023866798666859,7.987349206349206,716,45,70,21,7,226,94,135,0.185,0.615,0.2,-0.128,0,0,0,0,2,0,39.0,0,3,0,2,2,7,0,1,5,0,11,6,1,2,0,13,15,8,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,3,11,0,3,0,4,1,0,2,1,3,3,17,10,2,10,0,2,0,0,7,6,0,2,0,50,6,0,0.0,0.1698303212040526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5435676557693303,0.5225086317278232,0.0,0.0,0.10965203485949357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960727270358961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061727761347978076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047336205229743564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010530355669296,0.0,0.0,0.03623762213949909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236000329803207,0.0,0.0,0.14411315798169294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222474253604969,0.0,0.07236450527280497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049685742800340334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774966437258104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857683917378142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763888220023154,0.0,0.0,0.0820957417436923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744907562180589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195889332950247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061898359908201285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443836651621332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5225086317278232,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway2938483,2019/03/20,"Do I have an eating disorder? And what do I do about it? I am a 14 year old girl, I am 5'5, and as of right now I weigh 101.4 pounds. For a while, I've been gaining a lot of weight (like 6 pounds a week). I started trying to limit my eating to lose the weight and keep it below 100 at least, but my ideal weight is 98 pounds. I think I still have a bit to go before I look the way I want (my stomach is too pudgy) but one of my friends made a comment about how I'm so skinny I look anorexic and when I asked for weight loss tips on my main acc people said it sounds like I have one. 

-For breakfast I only have a cup of water
-For lunch I have a small bag of baked chips, if I have anything
-At dinner I will eat a small serving of whatever my family has

I think what I'm doing is fine, and I'm not going to let myself get out of control. But do you think it sounds like I have an eating disorder? 

And if you do, how do I go about treating it? I honestly have no idea and reaching out for help with something like this seems so scary :((",1.638100544182432,2.446326088105728,3.3929774552993024,94.51965016843742,76.66519823788546,6.222233739310702,20.841927960611557,6.2272716619740125,-0.039480746307333885,790,17,194,5,17,265,121,227,0.081,0.767,0.152,0.944,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,6,11,11,0,0,13,0,24,16,2,4,0,30,43,19,0,4,6,0,4,4,1,1,0,3,1,1,8,10,15,3,5,0,0,3,2,2,0,2,3,9,30,9,27,38,4,21,0,2,2,0,8,9,0,4,12,130,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055869884542048,0.0,0.1028784018258179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936412655006409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014201871841165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342624266711505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522451053524215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4504192052184353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374182397317863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502147070012175,0.0,0.05749463102591058,0.0,0.1876254837994527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376169118352663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422883734715315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781417589623248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252976095507893,0.0,0.2150521840471812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482229205097886,0.12311362083875925,0.0,0.09355739848801528,0.0,0.10412843594533792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154750424504481,0.0,0.1491403932144176,0.08369514276005917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629222344419925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093978908300857,0.10467919754682456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018198583281136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847189905160934,0.0,0.0,0.07789131216982689,0.0,0.08788308870211688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21153960778027067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471418973082057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490813779559577,0.08734960224967836,0.08827247521217299,0.5360268123902869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086618610359864
mentalhealth,GypsyTraveler13,2019/03/20,"Canada Disability Tax Credit? Is anyone here in Canada and receiving the disability tax credit? I'm in Ontario and I'm ODSP and receive CPP-D for mental illness. I'm considering having my psychiatrist fill out the form to claim the disability tax credit, but am wondering if others have had success getting it with mental illness? I do have a physical contributer as well (I only have one eye), but most of my disability results from my mental illnesses.",5.507264808362368,7.989371085365857,7.39808362369338,62.886463414634164,69.85365853658536,9.563763066202087,33.66550522648084,9.957137785484203,4.216799303135888,367,18,52,10,7,128,55,82,0.106,0.7440000000000001,0.149,0.4479,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,4,0,8,4,1,1,0,11,13,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,1,1,1,1,5,5,9,12,2,6,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,3,0,39,7,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944970832690858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453279739607034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8409645134442864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848952323727586,0.2115544584013373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501007163734033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301654428347276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,washingmachineblues,2019/03/20,"How to have a discussion with a friend Hi Reddit,

I'm not a mental health professional but I am highly educated in medicine and I am a concerned friend. My google searching has led me to believe my friend, A, has HPD and does not know it. What I have read is strikingly similar and is starting to make a lot of sense with what I have seen. So I'm looking for some guidance. A is not happy and anyone close enough can see it. If a friend and I were to try to have a discussion with A from a place of genuine caring and concern, would it be wise to bring HPD up in that conversation? Or is it something people need to figure out themselves? Is it worth having a discussion at all? Even if it's not HPD, A has diagnosed anxiety and depression but I'm concerned there's something deeper at play here based on the repetitive behaviors and life crises that happen every 4-6 weeks. I'm concerned any attempts at talking rationally about things will be seen as an attack and do more harm than good. Any thoughts about what to do/say? ",5.163800904977375,5.717844882352942,5.800588235294117,81.42495475113125,68.31372549019608,9.022021116138763,30.888386123680238,9.057496981413335,2.4508616892911004,812,31,162,14,13,264,120,204,0.104,0.742,0.154,0.9036,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,1,0,15,0,22,3,0,3,1,34,38,17,0,4,9,0,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,0,12,14,0,0,3,2,1,2,4,3,0,0,4,4,8,9,27,30,5,16,0,1,4,0,10,11,0,5,3,112,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151201290442849,0.0,0.12099853784990433,0.0,0.0,0.11059515520658822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17993960423098113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820183667109055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126341812442194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623037415445705,0.1605377886662628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841439833212715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16343043382442932,0.0,0.10446886147623688,0.0,0.13326385819857536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4888026388020897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326643084051438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398679611141272,0.16837340438975956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681258140762389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711379860093745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869253201859255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171915218828636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132821779193005,0.0,0.0,0.13446927841820727,0.0,0.0,0.10557876152370456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939673631494275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728000478207508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965418450339112,0.0,0.16525251129824986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821139191670744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578201059404706,0.0,0.0,0.12603988747609254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435318148457785,0.0,0.0,0.11195254156052308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271299207196017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508018255192522,0.0,0.0,0.12556819226176125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738608964198024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687330171424696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235842772478888,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Godverdoemezeg,2019/03/20,"sex makes me sad (22m) sex makes me sad, thinking about sex makes me sad, having sex doesn't make me feel sad but i don't have much of a libido , i do it to keep my gf happy, but honestly i'd rather watch a movie and cuddle, feel close. sex doesn't make me feel close.

it's like i equate sex with abuse, like when i read about people having sex i feel like someone is getting abused. or mistreated or manipulated.

​

what now? idk if i want to bring this up with my therapist, there is so much wrong with me already and we can't work on everything at the same time, but i'm kinda sad about it.",1.6250894774516844,3.211404551181108,2.942648532569794,94.52896206156048,78.29133858267717,6.192984967788117,19.419470293486047,6.980632752743323,0.006187401574802465,466,10,110,5,11,151,75,127,0.218,0.644,0.13699999999999998,-0.8983,0,0,0,0,2,0,20.0,1,0,0,1,8,11,0,0,3,0,10,8,0,6,0,30,25,10,0,3,7,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,5,1,0,1,4,6,0,0,0,5,15,5,12,25,3,9,0,5,1,8,2,5,0,4,6,61,20,2,0.0,0.372888457166304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364914581384486,0.0,0.0,0.17049799477864588,0.1912079422956965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14142377759031788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182609775491814,0.11241702676909322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221338216428926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751117288844278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986756816332854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23063241397750975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5251904907144759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23135337746604145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909265109214546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740119955603046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333294447563402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18270548168283465,0.0,0.10082904732145416,0.0,0.0,0.09175707448055656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281418878498053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455894663811154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204694411378216,0.1912079422956965,0.0
mentalhealth,blue_cortex,2019/03/20,"Help controlling my anger. Please. Ever since I (20/F) was young I've had horrible anger issues. I would cry, break things, hit myself, scream, etc. This has fluctuated in severity throughout the years. Things have recently gotten bad again. It gets really bad when I play video games, especially player vs player, like fighters. A few weeks ago I had a meltdown and threw a plate at me wall, leaving holes. A day or two later I threw my controller, decimating it. After which I threw my remaining controller. It still works. Today I slammed my newest controller against my knee and against my head. It still works but the light won't come on. 

I have a habit of either breaking things or hurting myself. I usually berate myself in the process. I have a lot of self hatred, and suffer from depression and anxiety. I hate losing, I hate imperfection, I hate failing. I cant even think about calming down whilst angry because it just makes me even more upset. ",3.2383714285714302,6.15155059428572,3.73564285714286,83.86460714285717,80.19999999999997,6.471428571428572,24.75,7.7348632917899725,1.6528,754,28,131,13,20,236,118,175,0.335,0.613,0.052000000000000005,-0.996,0,0,0,0,1,1,32.0,0,0,0,8,9,17,5,1,9,0,10,2,2,5,1,20,22,8,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,10,5,0,4,1,3,0,4,2,14,0,1,7,2,25,3,12,12,5,29,0,5,0,0,3,6,0,3,18,87,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792852181868247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314229403539154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20332079273221476,0.07422075958118933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048812104596613,0.0,0.0,0.5462346488272141,0.0,0.0,0.13374222541341374,0.07852194654524816,0.0,0.10486746196706936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357890857176831,0.16083614870177435,0.11013442993878678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361199796179166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36062376892081693,0.12495582647310954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160985583349939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034131887517736,0.0,0.0,0.12708065840562438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892103734680738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05948337631353414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362127777519712,0.0,0.10351180511530038,0.0,0.0,0.08127245357238957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365050269597534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799941450667296,0.0,0.12021844136237265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270170900908532,0.1375485710418875,0.0,0.10071705072767984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19446750973584412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426659718653397,0.07801573154945253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540956835666707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893701008213205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409600636955504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766457168406753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727827972059568,0.0,0.0,0.08649130723776635,0.0,0.0,0.07840627212566187
mentalhealth,Same_Comparison,2019/03/20,"I(22f) can't be myself anymore? Hi. I'm aware all of this is above reddit's paygrade, but my workplace requires a clearance which includes looking into your mental health. They need to know if you're diagnosed with any disorders and what medication you take.  They can choose not to hire you depending on what they find. They have good reason to do so, as there have been some breakdowns in my stressful workplace that has led to deaths. They check up on you thoroughly every five years. I am already hired, but obviously I cannot trust my workplace to retain me if I go to a therapist. I do not think I am in danger of breaking down and my work is not affected.  


I can no longer enjoy my hobbies or anything. When I was in college, I worked when I wasn't studying and so all my free time was eaten up and I slept the rest of the time. I lived in a tired blur. When I graduated, I found out I have several deficiencies causing me to be exhausted. I still do and am working on them.   


I can't do any of the things I used to enjoy because along the way, I found people being rude and critical of my work. Of course I wouldn't be GREAT at any of my hobbies, as I was a beginner. But as soon as I START doing something, all the criticism comes back and I stop. I don't think anyone traumatized me, they were just being a typical snob. But I cared about my hobbies so their thoughts hurt my feelings. One of my hobbies (programming) led me to the job I have now so I don't think I suck at it so much. One such thing they would say behind my back was ""I can't believe Same\_Comparison got hired at X, they don't deserve it"" or ""Yeah, Same\_Comparison isn't the best to go to help for, but you can ask me"" (even though I was a TA and they weren't - that person did not do well in the course either) and other things of that nature. There were also really hurtful remarks like ""She only got this far because she's a girl"". This is just one example. I've shared other things I've done online and get good and bad feedback, but zero in on the bad feedback.  
  

Now, I just browse social media - because how can I be bad at that? But I feel very dissatisfied with my life. I churn out code that I don't care about for work but I don't work on anything satisfying at home. I don't even read books because I don't think I can read enough books to call it a hobby, even though I used to read whatever back then. I'm very afraid of something and I think I am afraid of being bad at things. But as a result I am taking a backseat on my life. Most days I just eat dinner, go to sleep, then go to work. Yes, I sleep for more than 12 hours a day. I used to think it was my deficiencies, but I prefer sleeping because I feel comfortable in my dreams.  


I do nothing around my SO - whatever our dates are is whatever he wants to do. I am intensely afraid that he will figure out who I really am and leave me. That he'll know that I'm too scared to live my life because of some wussy mental baggage that I choose to carry. I think he already figured it out too, because he realized that I don't seem to do anything for myself when he is around and he is gently encouraging me to pick out things to do that I want for myself.  


I think it's so ridiculous that I am being held back by some comments some people made a long time ago online or in school, but I get so scared that I feel better doing nothing. I don't even hang out with friends anymore because I am afraid they'll see how much of  loser I am. What is wrong with me? How do I fix it?   


I know that I am better off seeing a therapist, but this is the next best thing. ",3.6978225806451626,4.291856879032263,4.852178494623658,86.77776774193552,71.60752688172043,7.779956989247314,26.304731182795702,7.839951260653429,1.2935542795698922,2794,85,611,34,50,923,285,744,0.145,0.75,0.106,-0.9888,1,0,2,0,0,0,81.0,1,5,12,13,44,40,5,7,23,2,81,15,4,15,4,115,133,56,1,8,26,0,4,1,1,5,8,1,1,2,39,29,3,4,27,6,2,8,22,21,1,5,22,8,113,20,88,98,16,72,0,3,3,0,40,34,1,13,29,442,152,23,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050442538276727865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559139130741054,0.045506627578458345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609133883826035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286824296940562,0.039789053970289465,0.0,0.14048303363569056,0.1013144049320564,0.05319816564043359,0.0,0.0,0.17502465154441402,0.1900520214124544,0.2775083689104239,0.0,0.0,0.06411205340474395,0.11943583764729328,0.10065507620137634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058106009374401475,0.0,0.11603616515027496,0.058456750056774136,0.0,0.049018316789410835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339758253756118,0.0,0.0,0.05775702132323007,0.0,0.0,0.06521765821773863,0.0,0.0,0.058233213224300966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05822766261331421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058797714417789124,0.0,0.15033993703351894,0.0,0.04794462140992815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150908021514478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05200981865108288,0.0,0.0,0.12478602186776692,0.0439643909802969,0.0,0.05946066133357115,0.0,0.12936089452386113,0.09545784021376268,0.09102369295239192,0.06273757687160261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06048698134726085,0.0,0.0,0.03814198700465245,0.0,0.057080003085218274,0.0,0.056039617105500365,0.0,0.12183520825840193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056469084013394275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381992140076437,0.0,0.0,0.06025380734822688,0.0,0.0,0.12058031025765685,0.027800737339525643,0.0,0.10049569595071164,0.050358824047792725,0.047785573706808485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053844555173768384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05732544761332546,0.1146930049888016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366292970648195,0.042194076505367634,0.0,0.0,0.06051874022251224,0.0,0.0,0.10920309168202766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156801894434499,0.0432785501021654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890103788223805,0.04968694495492982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076014586523644,0.0,0.0729091510847349,0.05850745705506784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525286120055938,0.11394296232245425,0.05759054320268407,0.09069127622864824,0.051803855638667226,0.0,0.06428605657497859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083723581815807,0.058007123907580435,0.0,0.0876159584593086,0.0,0.0,0.040277403742884486,0.0,0.04544412652991718,0.04757483493285339,0.06518408364466606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557042897885135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214136779363495,0.2646344437845816,0.2916976130911101,0.11181705826000347,0.04517593532485293,0.09954467606766663,0.06540352349097409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744203964880473,0.0,0.09390459060949499,0.0671276731477305,0.04516826201258338,0.0,0.0,0.051164113798158425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899908375388999,0.0,0.0,0.04042343027058905,0.06221630109428233,0.0,0.03664472853133829
mentalhealth,HuronStClair,2019/03/20,"Had a Mental Lapse - How do I avoid it next time? I'm a 36 year old male, living in Canada. Married six years. No kids. I work in tech and bring in a good salary. My wife is disabled.

I am normally a sedate, calm person. I am known professionally for my ability to adapt and just go with the flow.

Last night, we went to bed as normal. At about 12:30, I was dead asleep. My wife's pain was so much that she started having a panic attack. She began to pray out loud to herself. Somewhere in this process, she woke me up.

Normally, when my wife wakes me up, I either half-sleep through it, or I help her through what she's doing. And I mean normally as in this has happened hundreds of times in the eight years we've been together.

This time, I got angry. Like irrationally mad. I was holding myself back from yelling and screaming at my wife who was clearly just going through a bad time. And it was obvious I was angry. So she started to get scared and upset on top of being sore and panicky.

I don't want this to happen again. I don't know where to start looking for a solution. If anyone has experience with this kind of sudden, irrational personality shift, I'd love some resources.",1.6709745762711847,4.011317911016953,3.1416000000000004,89.35255254237289,81.7542372881356,5.8098983050847455,22.57559322033898,7.087006719466742,0.7721815593220338,921,31,189,12,25,301,150,236,0.199,0.7,0.101,-0.9751,1,1,0,0,1,0,37.0,1,0,0,2,10,14,2,4,9,0,19,5,2,1,2,30,38,15,1,6,5,4,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,4,11,11,0,2,3,0,0,5,3,9,0,2,12,4,29,5,33,25,3,38,1,0,1,1,19,14,0,3,20,125,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080151273525196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773511764267885,0.0,0.09985474358136352,0.10842813111068933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270285316631106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784677516281606,0.0,0.14760548114970062,0.10892086426987957,0.10386134112409197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296705028106256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870427862229862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522977453039764,0.0713679595922117,0.10585367673787242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344330296139405,0.0,0.11466924072284207,0.0,0.1090501519020792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172042122963978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145620383829188,0.0,0.0,0.13086888621317005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546244279751027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381081632435674,0.1218653248411519,0.5089430498575909,0.0,0.0,0.13626679747751475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818077612970658,0.1523633699816382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22677843853586865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001306027708254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995432910921315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27574788721792315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028909132792838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765951142337142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203820265810536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454002366564954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508778007315331
mentalhealth,savona_16,2019/03/20,"Referred to mental health team... In the UK. 

I saw the doctor yesterday after suffering with severe depression and anxiety since October. 

I’ve been on 3 different types on medication and I’m now at a point where I just hate myself. I’ve had suicidal thoughts previously where my medication was changed and they seem to have settled a bit. 

I’m not obsessing over what I eat. Sometime I eat nothing all day, others I hate one meal a day and others I binge then make myself sick. I’m high then low on different days. Picking at my skin when anxious and just generally hate myself and the way I look. I also impulsively bought some coloured smoke grenades for my wedding next month, everyone thinks I’m nuts. 

Has anyone had any experience with what I’m going through? Or any experience with the mental health teams? ",4.5885880566801625,6.851487848684213,5.505526315789479,76.41599190283404,71.82894736842105,9.150607287449391,30.771255060728738,9.661875296680813,3.2446248987854247,651,29,115,17,13,213,97,152,0.231,0.7559999999999999,0.013,-0.9869,2,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,2,7,7,3,1,7,0,6,10,1,2,1,22,22,11,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,9,3,0,4,2,1,1,1,7,0,1,7,4,15,0,15,15,3,25,0,3,3,0,4,12,0,3,11,67,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267855088667258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746279033290955,0.0,0.09822289092372756,0.14505138004254345,0.0,0.08977774491808065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017560922942848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135826361411564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24841515888696314,0.0,0.11058762708083758,0.0,0.0,0.26829381049637024,0.0,0.13141915115127764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627631330555183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268825796035075,0.0,0.25119262376653234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297063031210749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802945749409365,0.0,0.27295872811220706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565784102442058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782063454480227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570559083837125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25869172044084604,0.25878673449892714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248477770908612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655102296519275,0.0,0.0,0.12319980410461027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700472034079326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137609488623245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688725599694134,0.0,0.14505138004254345,0.0,0.1062108249559053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698731798164484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044481681650686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227122565185027,0.0,0.1019323958056108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191508218282082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Daffidil_Jill,2019/03/20,Has anyone experienced a panic attack and had their face go numb?? Recently I’ve been having these panic attacks where I start losing feeling in my face. It starts in my lips and they kinda curl in and I can’t speak and it spreads out to my whole face and then I curl up in a ball and I’m almost paralyzed. Its really scary and I know why I’m having the attacks they aren’t random or anything. I’ve had panic attacks before but mostly I’d black out and kinda just fall down and hyperventilate and then I’d be ok but this numbness is relatively new. Does this happen to anyone else? How do you deal with it? Also I do plan to tell my doctor I am just in a transition between doctors. I recently retired from the Air Force so I had to leave my old psychiatrist and I will be seeing the VA and I would also like to see a new psychiatrist as well. ,1.382939682539682,3.5665650114285725,3.710238095238097,85.77837301587306,81.74285714285716,6.174603174603175,20.579365079365076,7.3871296695380915,0.7231841269841275,667,19,136,10,18,230,102,175,0.147,0.795,0.058,-0.8873,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,3,2,8,13,4,3,7,1,17,8,4,1,0,29,27,22,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,7,15,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,10,1,0,4,6,19,3,18,19,2,22,0,1,3,0,7,11,0,6,10,95,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978773300423153,0.0,0.0,0.19132905744964945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728996627630602,0.12257053779301355,0.09844165507116756,0.0,0.0,0.5443654429046723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179255307738863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332871458968556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24488368898348595,0.10468514640575033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993181749374952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06048628482410436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798597077266748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578450047929476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574308727763473,0.0,0.0,0.12666621084822166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844301318973848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338304188519657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310702506128222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552691727207052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4210645107910798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663520622598173,0.0,0.2362316462050709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19065218983560744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934319471067558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455802484188703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755775794823123,0.0,0.1079434744372491,0.13355768187701886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497857591423219,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gloomwood,2019/03/20,"Intrusive thoughts worse when tired? I have anxiety and depression, but I'm on medication and the last few months have been so much better because of it. But I've noticed when I'm tired and I haven't slept well, I have intrusive thoughts again.

The only way I can describe it is like...the medication put some security in my mind that stopped the thoughts, but when I'm tired, they're tired and not protecting my train of consciousness properly. Like a free for all and no one can be arsed monitoring it. I feel like all these shitty thoughts come into my head for a party and I'm next door just trying to get some damn sleep. As soon as I catch up and have a good nights sleep I'm all good again!

Just wondered if this happened to anyone else.",3.070483367983371,5.079988574324325,3.7594594594594617,88.38637214137216,75.41891891891892,7.526819126819128,25.57380457380457,8.384062270229773,1.5672914760914758,591,21,124,11,13,187,88,148,0.202,0.629,0.16899999999999998,-0.4206,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,1,0,6,0,10,10,4,0,3,30,25,17,0,1,7,0,1,2,0,0,6,0,1,0,6,9,0,3,7,0,1,3,3,2,1,1,6,1,9,9,12,18,7,19,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,4,13,74,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944427439461413,0.0,0.0,0.08632261273947144,0.12649424592147382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525702759640979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918592296365406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634555876881682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063316183201844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031308185885655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242256194010661,0.08819628307126581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450014676603512,0.0,0.0,0.20709640847133295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917085671032188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670045596787885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006323096261046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809416442791221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487358668108565,0.0,0.0,0.12465436598647865,0.0,0.09854061032547252,0.0,0.09075363650383522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312958025996161,0.1158541628409298,0.0,0.0,0.14055434595965585,0.0,0.0,0.08365630911466287,0.09389309741278723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410638251096773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470883333897862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321391544316487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3920379482359749,0.0,0.5675734873539852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381784728684584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799283975785487,0.0,0.0,0.11100087940905992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388169098321584,0.0,0.0,0.12581120119066713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,frymanc98,2019/03/20,"Does anyone constantly look at mental health websites about disorders, illnesses, symptoms and causes? I spend at least 2 or 3 hours a day searching up questions about my behaviours, thoughts, past experiences, about my family, like basically disecenting my entire life and trying to figure out my self. Is the a type of ocd? Or a sign of something else? I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years now but for the past year or so its been worse. Ive thought ive had ocd, adhd, npd, bpd, aspergers,bipolar 2, and even comptimpalted being a sociapth. Any one else do this or know anyone who does?
",7.0226883116883085,8.02735391818182,7.165844155844159,71.67590909090913,64.36363636363636,11.012987012987013,34.8051948051948,10.914260884657429,4.107428571428572,481,21,81,13,7,155,82,110,0.121,0.863,0.016,-0.8822,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,6,0,8,4,0,1,0,18,12,10,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,8,1,13,7,1,12,0,1,1,0,3,4,0,5,9,50,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19339362990375525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943058708040933,0.0,0.12310276208564712,0.0,0.0,0.22503691897682898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026721230959304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530836515989836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389650814747834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377958374515303,0.0,0.13859948753412213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442736637019128,0.0,0.28164298593830184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688547175555657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628562648931038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574098741667712,0.1517003182367569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104960488329854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584730160143999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843699436550792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366200333185013,0.07861700206346252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513161542556426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621687241555584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904302742176376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072312058641028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802663533820188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787384060268254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388347659388448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16822770701519082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672566834175392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555037700819063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925358669129673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399043188237408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20725340219428887
mentalhealth,umkou,2019/03/20,"My Lifelong Fear of School My time in my first school left me with an immense fear of going to school.

​

During my time there, I was teased because of my weight and was disliked by most of my teachers. I was a bit heavier than my classmates (but considering I was quite tall for my age I'm pretty sure it evened out) so in typical fashion of clueless 6-year-olds, they took it as a weakness and mercilessly teased me anytime they could. 

​

The teachers were no better, I wasn't the brightest child and often acted out or fidgeted with my surroundings leading to many time outs and harsh scoldings. It was also a very strict and religious school which clashed horribly with my short attention span and my tendency to hide books under my desk.

​

After a while of the treatment, I grew tired of it. I simply had no drive or motivation to go to school again. I got average grades at best and flopped with social interactions, so why should I try anymore? I would dread waking up and stepping into my parents' car as they drove me to school, kicking, screaming, and hurling meaningless threats at them as they attempted to drag me to my classroom.

​

This led to me missing out many school days and eventually transferring to another school (which was more okay-ish). But the damage had been done. I fought every single day to stay at home regardless if I had made friends or not. I simply hated going to school.

​

I took another entrance exam two years later into a extremely prestigious and well-known school. I got in, surprisingly, and my parents were ecstatic. They immediately enrolled me into the school just when I was beginning to comfortably settle in to my second one, dragging me into a new environment I was unsuited for.

​

Again, I fought to stay home and the cycle would repeat again. It got better as the years progressed but I would still weep secretly in the school bathrooms, yearning to go home and not have to deal with any of the school pressure anymore. 

​

Before I knew it, Grade 7 rolled around and thus began my change into middle school. This year, I was adamant on not going to school. I was much bigger now so my punches were not soft and caused damage when I wanted to and that was the turning point for my parents to begin taking it seriously. I wasn't just a grumpy 6 year old they could just haul into the car, I was a full grown woman that was a serious cause for concern. During this period. I stayed home from school for three months, everyday resisting and putting up the fight of going to school.

​

Eventually, I left the school and turned to online schooling instead. I flourished under it and finished my 7th grade and 8th grade using it. But now I'm between a rock and a hard place. (Intl) Schools in my country were very expensive and hard to get in, and how was I to explain my two year gap? With that in mind, my parents contemplated on sending me to an overseas boarding school. Originally, I agreed with them. A change of pace would be nice for me and I could use the independence, a lot of my friends are leaving as well so why not? But then I thought about it long and hard. What if I hate it? What if I can make no friends? What if my mom’s not there to comfort me? What if I regret it? The more I thought about it the more worried I became. 

​

Mind you, I'm very much a home body and the two years of practically home schooling made me even more of one. However, the prospect of boarding school seems so fresh and exciting! So because I'm generally a dumb person, I've decided to let redditors decide my fate! Do you think I should go to boarding school, or not?

​

​",5.2975083692013385,6.8696838967001455,5.2983931133429,81.41756575801055,68.71305595408896,8.049163079866092,31.170253467240556,8.4952907291091,2.4149016738402675,2944,122,536,45,51,919,307,697,0.124,0.802,0.073,-0.9792,5,0,0,0,1,0,121.0,0,2,8,9,29,36,9,4,35,0,40,5,2,14,1,114,81,59,0,18,24,5,5,0,3,6,2,1,6,3,25,46,1,0,11,2,1,21,12,23,1,8,39,6,84,13,95,31,12,100,0,6,0,0,32,39,1,13,37,378,109,35,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02173186483390767,0.0,0.3238855172755952,0.3632270477904777,0.018479954959459696,0.056990785068537976,0.0,0.0,0.053900663063260745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024191541659675637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03313129693604416,0.0,0.02312395235792487,0.0,0.028518521567001274,0.04806821835091239,0.029668098804265457,0.03018533654857855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055832491154088615,0.05749516528209464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509116007578733,0.0,0.0,0.03505129753005306,0.02801626675350074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02780949470388123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035897707263822985,0.0,0.022896138154756496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611589366118976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023115069997797097,0.0,0.0,0.06298609146381723,0.0,0.01419783363212371,0.0,0.10810938630957227,0.0,0.0652030714157189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303047810293557,0.05365943992727642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355264862837635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028774437190767086,0.059051507805377226,0.027788313381519915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024049049899694763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02310324207817813,0.0,0.051427348381761134,0.01813954618102653,0.05510243827560924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05487807512170957,0.03182707132686007,0.0216908528361011,0.0,0.039953553509437606,0.0,0.0,0.026245817129875924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057031253601228564,0.0,0.03682901260351687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069863702412127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02372819145757771,0.028392126569434982,0.0,0.02568919083252787,0.0,0.0,0.027646779130956745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02731841491720905,0.0,0.028903993649747894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6600620439829744,0.0,0.02473913028764416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027701524882059358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689491132078614,0.021702017218051442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02561214789710644,0.0,0.020432243557729404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017412664477114214,0.0,0.043147882955396025,0.047537942500966636,0.031233703919645757,0.0,0.0,0.06038492524125276,0.018450064237807956,0.05911726686620186,0.07963817845475997,0.0,0.0,0.04694100833201507,0.0,0.06726674703230498,0.01602853910615621,0.0,0.0,0.03309187035762158,0.04886723822771652,0.0,0.049042482672345664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02759756608650946,0.0,0.07721745772074579,0.0,0.3632270477904777,0.12249881627938546
mentalhealth,mindoverdick,2019/03/20,"I'm afraid that I'm becoming schizophrenic I'm 21. It seemed to start at the end of adolescence for me, when I sensed that my youth was fading and I was going to become an adult, though I didn't understand what it really meant at the time. Oddly enough, I feel like I am LESS outgoing and more anxious/shy than my teenage self. I have anxiety that other people are always looking at me, thinking about me, or judging me, to the extent that I sometimes don't even like to be seen by people. It stems  from being the ugly duckling when I w as a teenager and getting bullied for it, but now I am feeling like it's oddly myself that is preventing myself from even going into social circles where I might meet girls for instance because of the psychotic symptoms and fear. Or I just smoked too much weed, though strangely weed seems to help alleviate all of the above symptoms temporarily.

I feel disembodied, like my body is too big for myself, I feel like the dynamic between me and everyone around me, girls and guys included, is changing very quickly, because it is. I feel a lot more aggressive than I used to and I seem to anticipate confrontation or aggressive acts from other guys. It's like as soon as I started geting anywhere with the ladies, I realized that I was also becoming more of a fight-or-flight mode mindset and now I always feel like it's just a matter of time before I'm going to get attacked or something. 

[https://i.imgur.com/lSKSTzm.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/lSKSTzm.jpg)

I don't know who this guy is, in fact, when i started actually seeing myself for what I had changed into, I didn't recognize myself anymore, and now I feel myself longing for yesterday when i didn't have to fucking WORRY so much about everything. I know I need to lose the fear and change the way I interact with the world, or I have no future. 

Any help is appreciated. ",8.300598290598291,7.62519913105413,8.118133903133906,71.59121794871798,61.96296296296296,10.990883190883194,36.024216524216534,10.25414643259724,3.631325925925928,1489,58,262,28,18,479,175,351,0.122,0.767,0.111,-0.5716,0,0,2,0,1,0,52.0,0,0,0,1,23,17,5,3,16,0,24,5,1,1,2,47,57,27,0,1,8,0,7,7,0,1,3,0,0,7,20,15,0,1,16,0,0,4,6,9,0,0,9,10,45,8,42,45,10,35,0,1,3,1,13,10,1,10,27,193,65,0,0.0,0.0,0.08437623285329368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914509961989618,0.1438896785673385,0.0,0.0,0.058798374479548526,0.0,0.06614459903482019,0.09767952543579288,0.0857488932857831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697114678383365,0.0,0.09836509749486938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541510563809292,0.2864775462401884,0.07357435736024424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604183159905366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744018261762293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658129620908002,0.08934025739065689,0.0,0.11421709843372832,0.0,0.0,0.08261990206915827,0.07770812193544148,0.0,0.0,0.1945917111576372,0.3060309993562289,0.24707913117972166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993442452021353,0.0903475728735592,0.0,0.14741817425411846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25683837888642097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590977540976573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503652774389207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956930448589469,0.0,0.0,0.07651777533991047,0.07260784703622505,0.09673091758293773,0.0,0.07350846267669138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172446783338893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712173845608102,0.06411183993590948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988627623689478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05539094834334066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890048398635744,0.2361402909491352,0.09020063958739064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813899369576599,0.0,0.06656408635771308,0.08551494617405979,0.0,0.18359864765396497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973806717431676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540253582100873,0.1699005627094989,0.0,0.1008355179541269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001190416109398,0.0,0.0746769944084898,0.0,0.07134172117307959,0.0,0.06863096965673797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780822404808042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maxim1111on_,2019/03/20,"If you are struggling I want to help... honestly no charge ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I hate to see mental health problems! I am doing all I can to help those on Instagram. I am promoting myself here but because I genuinely want to help more and more people! Please message me!! 

YOU ARE LOVED 

This is my Instagram username.

@maxim1111on ",-0.22417910447761005,2.0739624776119427,2.345388059701495,90.18076865671642,95.86567164179104,5.665074626865673,23.117910447761197,7.1686216300943375,1.2807623880597014,254,11,52,5,10,87,43,67,0.109,0.568,0.32299999999999995,0.9436,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,1,5,1,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,1,7,12,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,11,2,5,12,3,1,0,0,1,1,7,1,0,1,0,33,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251135753129411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632033525214546,0.0,0.2833736939987237,0.0,0.0,0.5360708459845703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24060872422645066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686609562551973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848205850831035,0.0,0.0,0.29263678720646696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550915177051828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124384568873389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278698724866124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144844772497933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ljubist,2019/03/20,"I have everything and still feel likeshit I have literally everything.

I have enough money, I have a part-time job which is payed good, I have straight A's, I have a  stable relationship which is suffocating because of my emotions and let's say, a couple of real friends.

Also, I feel like crying all the time about everyrhing: the situation in the world, my past, how I hurt people, how they hurt me, how I felt great back in the days and how I feel now. I feel like I should be happy to make people around me good.

And I can't stand when I see other people having fun and smiling, am I an a-hole?

What is 'wrong' with me? It ruins every day.",3.76268376068376,4.584738892307693,4.929487179487179,85.44773504273506,71.61538461538461,7.623931623931623,24.44444444444445,7.793537801064563,1.0638803418803415,496,13,106,6,9,164,78,130,0.093,0.67,0.236,0.9563,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,0,11,12,0,0,9,0,15,0,0,5,1,20,22,11,0,1,0,0,5,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,5,0,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,7,21,8,8,18,2,14,0,3,1,0,4,5,0,0,10,74,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645825652553475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963934691674034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197855594061047,0.0,0.08877317034434411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611340552584649,0.15996496702340002,0.18783537586423332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638113329021339,0.0,0.15047213281134106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12269744686200752,0.0,0.26176120790116425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294534551864433,0.2080726255310404,0.13982523430710386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251144273314607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442908700237394,0.0,0.16055482926100573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502317820713282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117944943895489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445128198185112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891398197671793,0.0,0.14229247795185326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720748488692478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577003876684805,0.13901792372866562,0.3028793100734066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16575597320131566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634943192457207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158088304637164,0.0,0.0,0.1160462604425526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369140788351938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629830700759755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491656445171891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15922080669273148,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bluedreams0,2019/03/20,"He tries, but he doesn't understand he makes it worse Sorry for format, on mobile. Double sorry for my grammar.

My fiancé tries. He really, truly tries to understand my mental illnesses, but he just doesn't. 

He doesn't understand that intensely and repeatedly telling me  ""stop, you're okay"" while I'm in the middle of a panic attack or meltdown does not help. At all. I KNOW I'm okay and I'm TRYING to stop BUT I CAN'T. Hammering me instead of being a comforting presence just makes it worse. I've tried to talk to him so many times about it, but it always ends in me shutting down because I just can't get him to understand I know how I feel is irrational, I literally can't help it.  For some reason he completely understands my depressive episodes, but my far worse anxiety is mind boggling to him.

It's been easier to just shove it down until I can finally get help. Maybe my illnesses are just too much for him.",2.567,4.955867033333334,4.239999999999998,82.47500000000002,78.66666666666666,8.222222222222221,24.44444444444445,8.998388855275968,2.205944444444445,726,26,138,19,18,243,99,180,0.254,0.6679999999999999,0.078,-0.9888,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,1,1,3,2,12,2,0,4,1,31,27,12,0,0,12,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,9,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,1,20,3,21,25,4,17,0,1,0,0,16,9,0,2,8,87,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251288469388934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505443509998732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648633332219636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777592117788439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657290986676615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576146722979942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729670018366267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847484123169586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05621729654887545,0.0,0.0,0.12179517593745035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617670808421142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357019198621614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220617101126835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843058568351233,0.11272177242219487,0.11169793187151808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204597679408908,0.0,0.11226279795272937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173205228455957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304489028005025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122646277612628,0.11431429800123145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24891978365222364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590737426016787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936441533306054,0.09717855057876894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483150659880788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37742865965146255,0.0,0.0,0.5787253813924988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33991390548623257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,weeepppppp,2019/03/20,"Mood swings Are mood swings common for someone with major depressive disorder? I don’t know how to tell my therapist I have severe mood swings, I also don’t know if it’s something I should be worried about. I feel like I annoy the people in my life when I’m having a mood swing, one moment I’m ready to kill myself and the next I’m just chilling... as if it didn’t happen, and this happens just about everyday. (I’m 18F) ",1.9271551724137943,3.848994172413797,3.5707902298850582,88.83135775862068,78.54022988505747,6.189080459770117,21.219827586206893,7.1686216300943375,0.6188172413793103,331,9,68,4,8,110,58,87,0.204,0.738,0.058,-0.9136,0,0,1,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,2,0,3,0,8,1,0,1,0,12,17,8,1,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,1,9,1,8,14,1,6,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,6,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083989960660305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055398276231304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735015097612433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066328739894835,0.17048408653842206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220561940878416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264019218480372,0.0,0.2623000257907755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855811653976413,0.11658719191435085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537957858659142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170828232143186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654425624305206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26959467742849896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20219845028145655,0.18371632447913872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085814170609347,0.0,0.0,0.2770788202239137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423499677357893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xDxNxAx,2019/03/20,"My emotions, reactions, words, and thoughts are always nothing but contradictions—I’m tired of feeling like I can’t be a better person with every other thought being something to denounce the positive I may think or do. Every single waking day of my life I think about all the outcomes of suicide, who it would affect, the debt it would cause in the family, everyone who would have a piece of them ripped away, etc., but I’m so caught up in my own head due to past traumas, I’m wholly inconsiderate to those feelings once I get so low. I’m never sober, I self-harm, I lie to myself and others around me purely just to keep myself distracted from the bad in my head. My anxieties, under pressure, will cause me to literally tunnel-vision and end up punching myself in the face until given a black eye, just to feel a pain other than what’s eating away at me. I feel like nothing but a liar, and can’t even tell if this post is a call for help or just me feeding into my craving for a attention, and that’s the problem I have. I just want to feel like a real individual again. Everything is upside down, or turned all around, and even when I feel my *happiest*, it feels plastered onto my emotions artificially, with whatever makes me feel like hell continuously picking away at my conscious. 
What do I do?
What can I do? 
I want to end my life so motherfucking bad, but I’m too much of a pussy to go out of my way for it, so for the last few years I’ve been extremely self-destructive with drugs, having overdosed a handful of times so far in attempts to just drown it all out and having it go too far. 
Soon, I’ll be on my own again, with the same thoughts, the same fucked up mindset, and even more resources to hurt myself with, and I’m scared of it all. I want it to go away. I’m ranting because I’m nervous. ",6.532973248037219,5.662153312154697,7.128371619656877,77.89050159930214,65.60220994475138,9.720500145391103,32.31230008723466,8.841846274778883,2.471539226519337,1417,48,285,19,19,469,184,362,0.208,0.6990000000000001,0.092,-0.9955,1,0,2,0,0,4,47.0,0,0,1,2,22,19,3,4,20,0,23,14,6,5,6,71,56,24,2,8,13,0,9,4,0,5,5,0,0,1,19,19,2,1,15,0,1,4,3,14,0,0,6,11,36,5,57,42,14,47,1,2,2,1,7,26,2,5,19,206,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293327467093376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705334611123878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15605727515736814,0.0,0.0,0.32940680438800163,0.0,0.14637109411868615,0.053431691074148316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775208467802685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950223316534985,0.0,0.0,0.18008497675198915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652812520406784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016481982796428,0.08968961888795783,0.0,0.1971928342791001,0.15526686185372535,0.0,0.09775486697049547,0.17367945557580244,0.0,0.14770075352468706,0.08375499995401826,0.07877573788070763,0.0,0.08263026573552656,0.0,0.35455485311245866,0.2504737006741321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103262717996063,0.04579441982112548,0.0,0.1494435223070089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991195874848492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875111801747807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383300741778716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790889958804706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144787206924681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382204135768815,0.171288863394364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058508221373937026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443411897070203,0.0,0.06760243041129706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820842937473873,0.0,0.0,0.09334624931230147,0.0,0.0,0.09326763811702572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367350997634862,0.0,0.07653412410367995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394614390643812,0.0,0.0,0.08387088371367704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976687685517337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775468915464495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18287977533961486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747859668440206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587678414840706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661148979340747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232739978938483,0.0,0.2087570876286529,0.05111043822432691,0.10074278843701603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533993029130214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550978130816815,0.06957387646904628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867958574530204,0.0,0.0,0.05644485093030141
mentalhealth,reddz1996,2019/03/20,"Trying to prevent my codependency from preventing me attaching to a new girl. How do I prevent my anxiety from getting the best of me in texting her? Shes awesome. She likes me and I like her but we just met less than a week ago.  I want to know more about her but she is busy more than me. Im doing my best to go as slow as possible to make sure i get to know her before jumping into more. She is so independent and we have a lot in common. How do I stop this feeling of waiting for her to text me. Its giving me crazy anxiety. Im falling back into this codependent cycle and I dont want to.

I even overthink her texts way too much. I keep rereading them over and over to make sure her feelings havent changed. But then i come back to the real word and say calm down, shes busy. 

Is she bored of me already?

Am I good enough?

Was it something Ive said or done?

I dont want to be clingy like this.

I need advice on how to stop this.",0.20392324093816327,2.1408874875621926,2.4085287846481878,94.8423880597015,84.57213930348259,5.420611229566454,21.01421464108032,6.655083550727371,0.23021847903340475,719,23,169,8,21,243,110,201,0.083,0.716,0.201,0.9729,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,2,0,1,2,10,10,0,0,5,0,17,0,0,6,2,41,36,16,0,4,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,6,10,0,7,4,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,4,4,39,9,31,31,9,23,0,0,0,0,21,8,0,2,13,123,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056625480317144,0.11844093097606795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474465978240844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442900232306926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20548215237461886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369584736463426,0.0,0.2804397297623374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413461123542998,0.11509680665883915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367337216492962,0.3131897064742442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380591911672464,0.0,0.08825092230414468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511871348362464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961581485382962,0.12817492056286806,0.07593603188269679,0.11206925593095077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886525395798492,0.0,0.0,0.1187624446694328,0.0,0.0,0.14686174558791296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19583145445123387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359401906259844,0.0,0.0,0.17837703883306255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982218145750282,0.09907324004107113,0.0,0.12904543186086473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506299403148956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520822172435416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709770636808304,0.10625537875436032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028627428634839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234149165756627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518596140414443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071527457677896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364273599275587,0.10605673675643533,0.10717725582374783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,paxhominibus,2019/03/20,"Psychiatric worries [x-post from r/depression]

My physician (not psychiatrist) lately has been urging me to try or consider using antidepressants she would be prescribing. Two facts that might be cause for alarm:

* She is hesitant to schedule me an appointment with an actual psychiatrist, saying the psychiatrist in her department has a very full schedule. She assures me she should be able to competently prescribe and oversee medication use on her own.

* Rather than describing the medication and it’s (side) effects in detail, she just gives me brand and generic names to research on my own at home. 

Are these cause for concern? If so, how much?

EDIT: She also told me not to use my sun lamp anymore after she saw I had gotten sunburns, even though I reported access to the sun helping my mood. (I might not, in fairness, have gotten across that those burns were from sunbathing rather than sun lamp use.)",6.1321770682148005,8.553771371069182,6.026540880503148,73.63963715529758,67.99371069182389,9.16903725205612,32.35655539429124,9.661875296680813,3.484072665699081,724,32,115,17,13,227,107,159,0.047,0.925,0.028,-0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,8,3,0,1,6,0,15,4,0,8,2,27,24,9,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,7,2,21,1,21,10,4,14,0,0,1,0,14,9,0,4,4,89,26,3,0.15671149615676053,0.0,0.1529278143439054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12532212685825728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155415694552328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219717494426851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497538200821307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350646523021996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503319468198196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504041253731136,0.0,0.15719440811961355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17677739353713826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31574069098472785,0.0,0.3324922650198755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152009811310697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008629425955008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246232716827428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396824930629185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974455030141431,0.0,0.10639681907766588,0.0,0.15308436067415865,0.0,0.0,0.5413936674095824,0.0,0.12930339648489647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591481313042374,0.0,0.11132335059728238,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,inspiredbyviolet,2019/03/20,"Mental illness in relationships How do you deal with your mental illnesses in a relationship? I’ve dealt with severe anxiety & depression for a little more than half of my life, but it’s starting to affect my relationship. I feel like I can’t tell him how I’m feeling or what’s going on in my head because he will judge me. I’ve been able to hide how much I’m hurting inside from everyone for tho long but I’m exhausted and I can’t do it anymore. 
How do you open up about how much you’re struggling to a loved one? I don’t want him to feel guilty or like it’s his fault but I need him to understand what I’m dealing with inside of my own head. ",1.0416149068323008,3.0979024782608704,3.218053830227741,89.54739130434784,82.18840579710145,6.551552795031056,22.175983436853,7.7094869923839395,0.9552157349896476,514,17,113,9,14,175,80,138,0.203,0.693,0.103,-0.9111,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,7,8,0,1,3,0,8,7,2,6,0,22,21,12,0,2,5,0,3,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,5,0,2,1,3,17,3,20,19,4,10,0,2,0,1,15,7,0,2,4,71,22,0,0.1486707961273402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108474548997054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373275210755153,0.0,0.14744148072369326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062833740678652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30654612538907305,0.12804993885502652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206131684667345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22551726473876435,0.10621044645920152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449303955900866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051582567047444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915516213686048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501058002252746,0.1452660826716762,0.149007194939137,0.0,0.13156897617557714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341811980003437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29965038950385103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185802828692855,0.11023751152760522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074317908633144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4788503896455342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795568216422413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052299547033196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542299600287582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994482874589022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547715419257922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876898874834111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QueasyEnd,2019/03/20,"If I(F25) don't get on medication, my BF (M32) will leave me. I don't know where to start. I've made an appointment with my PCP for today. I just moved here and I haven't met her yet.. This isn't the ideal first appointment I was hoping for. I however have called any mental health facility in the area and they are overrun with patients and can not see me , so my PCP is the way I have to go. 

I'm not sure how to approach this because I am embarrassed. I don't think I have depression or anxiety but I feel like if I told my dr I was having severe depression issues that, that would be the easiest route to medication. I am embarrassed because I'm having explosive anger. It's gotten very bad. I've been averaging one horrid episode a month where  I have destroyed personal property. I know my partner really wants me to get help. I'm between therapists with the move but I'm on many wait lists! The first availability isn't for another month. 

I want to be honest with my PCP but I don't know if I can own up to the fact that I am a raging bitch that is abusive when I'm in one of those episodes. I think it would be easier to fake depression. What's the harm? I also fear that my PCP won't want to prescribe meds for anger after meeting me one time. I however feel like I need to medicated.  I'm so lost, and so embarrassed. ",1.6536979020979032,3.6169993054545486,3.810636363636366,86.58087762237763,79.58181818181819,7.8671328671328675,23.66783216783217,8.730908602173464,1.6749888111888116,1039,36,225,25,26,356,139,275,0.24,0.642,0.118,-0.9919,2,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,4,11,22,5,4,11,0,31,5,0,2,2,38,60,17,0,11,10,0,2,2,2,4,5,0,0,2,11,8,0,1,7,0,0,4,10,16,0,5,8,3,36,6,26,45,1,23,0,4,1,0,10,8,1,5,12,145,47,0,0.0,0.13819769618735828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327586522694782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931826382009936,0.12230576685109625,0.08922822787122127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738837878511966,0.14220364480542186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119101075770512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013820270236903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125087912230116,0.11795198547542475,0.16665331214360962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984255074568579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187773359590412,0.0,0.06628841778289088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398140271776092,0.0,0.0,0.07818041082477606,0.0,0.0,0.11584847124528795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174041946973416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923046116544812,0.0,0.0,0.12350346120317995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396747978392904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273248361064483,0.0,0.0,0.11036628594228873,0.0,0.11825325726885055,0.0,0.0,0.12955921662747616,0.35250342709549665,0.11754429898550985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619967326880546,0.2479367961221389,0.0,0.08648606154575274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237112050137128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184434724731624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472168904041318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294588182983378,0.0,0.0,0.13176844490885006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255741818563328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993052246927597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542643202875201,0.0,0.14947464080258765,0.0,0.0,0.06801291945837493,0.0,0.11055977706470377,0.11145320337710443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623907993161487,0.2063894467700665,0.09258231040648618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571346349186544,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealthta2019,2019/03/20,"Strange tic / reaction that I have had throughout my life Hi all,

I'm using a throwaway here because this is not an issue I'd want to associate with my normal account.

For some background, I have been diagnoses with ADHD as an adult (21) and have been on medication for 3 years now. I am also trying to tackle anxiety through CBT. I'm in my mid 20s, in the UK and am generally pretty social and good at controlling my underlying anxiety. 

Throughout my life I have had a very strange tic, however I am not entirely sure when it started and what condition is causing it. Note that I had this tick prior to being diagnosed with ADHD or seeking help for anxiety so it is very much ingrained.

I have this tic whenever I get worked up by something, causing a vivid imagination with a strong emotion attached to it. This emotion is usually anger or happiness. I get worked up about it in my own head and it builds up to a climax and then releases. However, this vivid imagination has lead to me rubbing my fingers very hard on my teeth and occasionally making a humming noise. I know, this is weird. I want to point out that this generally only happens when I am alone. Here are a couple of examples:

1) **Happiness:** I'm watching my football team win a game and start daydreaming about us winning the next 5 games and winning the title. This daydream is one of euphoria/jubilation. This may also tie in to built up anxiety since I tend to feel anxious during the game. In some circumstances, I may end up having the tick. This tick often happens after much fingernail biting anxious reactions.

2) **Anger:** I'm reading a politics post on Reddit or Twitter, read some comments and it builds up a hypocritical picture in my head. There is a general underlying emotion of anger. Again, I have this quick imagination tick which lasts for 5-10 seconds or so.

---

These are very infrequent reactions however I'd like to identify this issue and tackle it. It has caused one of my fingers to be quite calloused and is one of the reasons why I like watching sport etc alone because I know I can have these anxious imagination ticks. 

Has anyone on here encountered anything similar before? I don't want to speculate on what might cause it but it might give me ideas.",3.7453080568720414,6.2377816232227525,5.133978672985784,77.04523341232229,75.18483412322273,8.485402843601895,31.40308056872038,9.188382445141503,3.262609289099527,1783,88,309,45,40,594,207,422,0.067,0.8740000000000001,0.06,0.3111,3,2,1,0,0,0,55.0,1,0,0,10,16,14,3,0,19,0,38,10,5,9,2,58,58,25,0,4,7,0,5,2,0,4,5,0,0,1,31,17,0,1,9,7,1,1,3,4,0,4,5,9,33,10,52,47,8,40,0,0,4,0,11,23,0,12,17,219,64,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19578604947157355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687255321210662,0.0,0.130278993404475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492512652022967,0.2760627358979214,0.0,0.056955197249328335,0.0,0.06703048613050981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930836695334973,0.0,0.06931216579313203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347066992368641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135865634908437,0.0,0.09012835649678064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653501259142553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27487757667988194,0.07214491148739388,0.0,0.09084380454204624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041186071821497534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511370231013357,0.07813901343364703,0.0,0.06832055019992937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406069233748764,0.17342062481211498,0.07296763874778801,0.0,0.16719256362199322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054597538181064095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195272751236984,0.0,0.17003561710809434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953102417375121,0.06639665856394426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506808480942453,0.07958955143953786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437181381670665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205729592517974,0.0,0.1728216664027564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975752596298048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662826689038189,0.0,0.07980855968179316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655879532222874,0.06195016246363491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700125940907131,0.0,0.0780113290052007,0.08286897106126627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663736929246749,0.16295399227705182,0.0,0.0,0.08374925826626166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738037907832535,0.0,0.0,0.08303306699599923,0.0,0.06270800255724925,0.0,0.0,0.1153084703436156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677032947847534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530256642769008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798027950157014,0.07035092664188043,0.08971112315927812,0.2688354684067049,0.14413272559353654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350042581988507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860035221071355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052454319301205504
mentalhealth,annaisme321,2019/03/20,"Very worried about my friend. Looking for guidance. Hi there, I've been looking for the right place to post this, I believe this is the place. I'll be using they/them/they're/their to refer to the person.

Me and many of my friends have been very worried about someone we are all close with. We've all only known each other for a year through school, and recently we all graduated. I live farther away from where everyone else is located so I haven't been able to see this particular person as much. Recently they have been acting very out of character and odd, and it is something all of us have noticed.

I know for a fact they have been using strong THC pills almost everyday, as well as using Psilocybin mushrooms very often. The few specific examples are, recently, they told one of us that they're creating ""the matrix/an artificial intelligence"", and they also brought up a story they were told about a guy they met who was apparently being followed/surveilled by people on the sidewalk. They have also been posting very obscure things on social media.

I'm pretty sure they have dealt with depression, as throughout the year I saw a lot of signs of it. I don't want to make an instant assumption of that, but a lot of them were things I used to do when I dealt with depression a few years back. I also know their parents have a history of dealing with mental health issues, but I can't remember what they were exactly.

We have convinced them to stop the drug use for 2 weeks (we'd like it to stop completely but they wouldn't agree to it), but I feel like we need to contact their mother, and a professional to help them, as the mother lives far away. We are just unsure if they will agree to see someone for help.

I know this is very personal, but I'm just looking for guidance in how I can help. I'm incredibly worried and want to do all I can to help them.

​",5.349673515981738,6.191973715068498,5.729743150684932,81.07087043378999,68.013698630137,8.932648401826484,30.82477168949772,9.075114841892004,2.5004360730593613,1486,57,287,26,24,476,178,365,0.086,0.812,0.102,0.7692,3,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,8,0,17,1,16,10,0,0,19,0,37,3,0,7,8,61,63,24,0,5,8,3,1,2,2,2,3,0,0,4,15,19,0,2,7,0,0,2,4,2,1,1,15,7,42,8,52,43,11,30,0,2,6,0,46,14,0,6,14,202,57,3,0.07641583172023174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651941722378973,0.0,0.0,0.18332913905516926,0.0,0.08279652174267382,0.09285359966966816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359037871303199,0.05875905772506571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609447443295484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012054568662398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078781367095648,0.131633687774841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861810437454895,0.0,0.0638356219368949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301860193720706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03863814055658876,0.054591485449538686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807736405876915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756636874829781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812264557532177,0.0,0.0,0.2048796849018822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975827485955637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259884280003775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466583093150399,0.0,0.13495315882380293,0.0,0.1925101584779602,0.0,0.0,0.12993201494507786,0.0,0.0,0.051008161051912616,0.07747365942526277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700918517855868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617442883265872,0.05666137095906393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699993089420628,0.0,0.0,0.05178134523089811,0.05811768345249298,0.0,0.0,0.08485073792133198,0.0,0.0,0.05297711606428833,0.2001700702862205,0.1596765597338743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14637048700215846,0.07774237284687645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263542448472995,0.0,0.08656424096289933,0.06525870276006697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733690134742406,0.1217870485798798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789631716617099,0.12949377247561109,0.058828640597991026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777411398510954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202101705209686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153456618771882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603720387441413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383767345248456,0.32999371773741604,0.0,0.3783063844949959,0.090144074829046,0.0,0.061296170874056075,0.0,0.06870700988894546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328119592739139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285359966966816,0.14762787070911826
mentalhealth,shrimpgirth,2019/03/20,"Bipolar-> First Hospitalization I strongly feel the need to share this anonymously. I recently admitted myself for a bipolar episode and subsequent exhaustion. I’m in the psych ward now. Here is how I arrived-

Some context is needed. Bipolar and schizophrenia have deep roots in my family system. I personally ordered a 5150 hold on my cousin last week-twice. On the other side of the family my uncle and grandpa were criminally insane with bipolar delusions. My grandma drank herself to death in her 40s.

Now to the story. 

My cousin is drawn to the hood when he’s in an episode, because he can talk and tease with people on the streets and it’s much more socially acceptable to just chat and hang out on the street. The only problem was that this particular part of the street was run by the bloods- I’ll leave out the specific set for safety reasons. Long story short, my cousin was shot (grazed?) in the back of the head for calling someone a bitch while shooting dye on this same street. He is alive and well.

I’ve had escalating mania with some delusions, but driving into Watts to get my cousins stuff forced me to suppress those bubbling feelings while also staying hyper vigilant. 

I was able to get the stuff, but immediately broke down thereafter. I had my first panic attack while crying and i could feel myself clawing at the edges of my own psyche. Delusions, mania, confusion, insomnia etc.
I voluntarily admitted myself with the support of my friends.

Anyway, safe and sound now. Seroquil is a hell of a drug.

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mentalhealth,gayducks69,2019/03/20,"Fuck I've got a suicide plan I'm so worried about myself I can't even sleep. 
I haven't cut for 15 weeks, but it's so hard to stay clean when you can't sleep bc of your anxiety. ",1.0457142857142865,1.4053292857142878,3.074761904761907,97.95357142857144,77.57142857142857,6.552380952380951,21.142857142857142,6.42735559955562,-0.1056285714285714,138,3,38,1,3,47,34,42,0.267,0.616,0.117,-0.6514,0,0,0,0,0,1,3.0,0,2,0,1,5,2,2,0,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,6,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,4,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22725774284491795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19621193841299608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746364352818632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375940230933612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266116376485986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5945690963987462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166371018845785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.324946372111688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23829164126452976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30168901303465057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fullmetal_alchemist1,2019/03/20,"I feel like I'm not bad enough to waste a doctors time I'm new to reddit so I don't know if this is were I should be writting this to or not. Also sorry for spelling mistakes grammerly isn't working; also it's 3 am.

I've been thinking that I have depression for a long time now. I was kinda fucked up as a kid, had a lot of issues with behaviour, indivuality, thinking about myslef and others, self-essteem etc. I wasn't very smart, kinda in my own head and feelings, my mum was suggested I see the therapist but didn't bc I guess she couldnt afford it and I never saw the school conseller bc I didn't think too/didn't want to talk. I wish I did espeiialcy in HS. 

I've been thinking of putting my self though therapy but I don't feel like I should. I think I have a mental illness but at the same time I don't? I read about illnesses, I read the symtoms list and check a few boxes but when I read up on the illness I feel like my case (if i have one) is not bad enough to see a doctor about. So I forget about it. I don't want to take up space, I feel like I should save that for people who have it much worse. 

I'm young (19) and I don't know myself that well. Maybe I'm conusing common things everyone experiences with a disorder. Maybe I just have a light case? Maybe my 'symptoms' are just parts of my personality? 

I don't know if I'm self isolating or just a loner/introvert. I havn't had friends or spoken much to anyone (not even my family) in almost 6 years. I just feel like I can't connect with people, I kinda become a different verson of me when I'm with others and I hate that side of me. I feel lke I'm my best self when I'm alone. 

Maybe I just need to get out. Listen to that middle aged ladies on facebook and drink some lavender essential oil or whatever. (I'm not gonna do that btw I was just kidding)

I know this was confusing, I think I just wrote this to vent. I don't know what I'm doing so I'm gonna watch John Mulaney and try to get some more sleep. ",0.7811562356189619,2.611019004716983,2.94269903359411,92.3841693511275,81.83018867924528,6.023377818683847,20.247123791992635,7.11905507035037,0.3291634376438104,1534,42,353,20,41,521,193,424,0.104,0.7829999999999999,0.112,0.498,2,1,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,2,23,17,2,1,16,0,38,10,2,0,1,77,84,29,0,12,23,1,7,5,1,5,6,1,0,6,19,13,1,0,18,4,1,1,19,7,1,1,15,14,53,10,38,62,14,28,0,1,4,1,14,13,1,16,19,223,72,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813731695897448,0.08081714368436124,0.0,0.1248035907389364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456146798656803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030615517801836,0.0,0.0861797067167416,0.0,0.0,0.08188928840966764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720845216358816,0.0,0.0,0.0815263524704771,0.08943090664239271,0.15973717795886194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764412035362162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16125488257574838,0.08702579523341658,0.05153909708234089,0.0,0.0,0.07456248166112424,0.0,0.0763298204505218,0.07356119248930205,0.0,0.27618564299596743,0.27872874340878223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060286975227196615,0.07213890252970692,0.08153651937123964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596054007349446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703999209395232,0.08008287345331948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144465586526467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21442047193148747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19061134771967034,0.0,0.0,0.06905545852325441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633962596179674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135726854704073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863744039569913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472432252978995,0.057859399124931515,0.06018273512694251,0.07536334881337955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052876191843380334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450055508787928,0.0,0.10819449127222877,0.06813413202869999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844325144255815,0.0,0.0,0.23415797316932305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789720856803636,0.12436207124465068,0.0,0.3256156624067038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808789472573961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734992192640108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110464913328508,0.058670007897306725,0.06271879709848514,0.0,0.0,0.08923586796975133,0.09060063370641226,0.051840688731978515,0.2999967652594794,0.07666559311966735,0.0,0.1365024576999202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05297829440411688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438419367996934,0.09205004954874164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015972682195028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897324214978253,0.0,0.0,0.056807891402894335,0.0,0.07952080698522987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05024975421964135
mentalhealth,faultlines77,2019/03/20,"Is the urge to touch your neck considered an OCD? So it first started when I was very young, because my neck was the place that most tickled me. My friends knew that I wasn't responding to their tickles in any body part except my neck so they would always target my neck when they want to annoy me.

Anyway, gradually, my neck has become more and more sensitive. I always feel the urge to pull the fabric of the top I'm wearing to cover it, and/or to surround it with my hand so that it is totally covered. I first need to note that I'm wearing a headscarf (hijab) which normally covers the neck so when I'm outdoors it is fine  because my neck is not exposed. But when my  headscarf is off indoors is when the problem shows. This urge increases specially in three cases: 
1- When there are people around. So if I'm alone like taking a shower or something, most of the time I'm not annoyed (unless cases no. 2 or 3 happen). So it mostly annoys me when there are people around me.
2- When my hands are busy. So if I'm washing the dishes or cooking or anything that makes my hand busy, the urge increases. And I can't resist it and just use my dirty/wet hands to pull my top to cover it multiple times during my cooking/washing.
3- When I think/talk about my neck. Like the whole time I'm writing this post, I'm more conscious about the existence of my neck and my need to protect/cover it. Also if I see a picture of a spider or an insect for example, as an unconscious reflex I just cover my neck with my hands because I guess I imagine it attacking my neck or crawling on it.

Any time I have been to a hairdresser or so on, and I take off my hijab, I use it as a neck scarf to cover my neck so that I can act normally. I also remember an incident that happened about a year ago. I was with my friends at a friend's house so my headscarf was off, and then a friend was about to tickle my neck and as a reflex I punched her in the face. She was shocked, and me too actually because I didn't realize it until I hit her.

So anyway, I just want to know if that counts as an OCD, and if someone has something similar because I searched but in vain. I also want to know how such OCDs are normally treated.
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mentalhealth,capchna,2019/03/20,"I feel like no one cares about me. Advice? For the past month I've been feeling like a burden, like no one actually wants to talk to me. I feel desperate, unwanted and unloved. I had a breakdown today in front of a lot of my peers and a few people asked me what's wrong then totally forgot about it. I've never felt this way before. I know for a fact that some of the guys have spoken about me behind my back. One of them was one of my closest friends last year. Now we barely speak, and I've tried talking to him about it more than once but at some point it just got sad. I also feel physically disgusting and am blaming my recent unpopularity on my weight gain. I also feel myself becoming jealous of my friends that are getting attention (mainly from guys), and it's making me hate myself. I have a handful of super close female friends, and three really close male friends. Why can't I just be content with that? I think it's because my female friends are all from different friend groups, and the males are a part of the group that I feel doesn't like me. I'm aware of the possibility that a lot of this is in my head, but I'm sure there's truth to it. Any words of advice or support that you think might help? Thanks",4.052565556343024,4.848485959839358,4.907895109851172,85.96341601700922,70.92771084337348,7.786534372785258,25.892038743208126,7.928766900206844,1.2728235766595797,960,28,205,12,17,312,140,249,0.12,0.662,0.217,0.9829,1,2,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,1,1,2,11,23,3,0,13,0,14,3,2,1,6,43,36,13,0,2,5,0,9,4,6,1,0,1,0,4,15,11,1,1,11,0,0,1,5,7,0,5,6,10,30,16,30,28,10,20,0,1,0,0,21,8,0,6,14,138,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.09970547210190464,0.0,0.0,0.19968326991639745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634143779118922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948069957687285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551735216147346,0.0,0.0,0.07856422809530315,0.0,0.06228331438186459,0.11284132995183135,0.08694114192028707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041715171631938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674835630536288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099684513733745,0.2189758352654481,0.09810147585229367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4736286109051071,0.0,0.05338083428233911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171655949132259,0.0,0.0,0.20233337402238874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087403982394104,0.10485830471132578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848397047158107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056151249855548785,0.08328409953989226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19966499121464465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17372655134789294,0.0,0.0,0.06820083498198984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083887139702636,0.0,0.0,0.08155299256829816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880161270662257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881021497556366,0.27693850618482624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064269514312412,0.09753506622238373,0.07083344068893413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658589290522876,0.11518396952847088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545422173975864,0.0,0.1008828664664877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594396854147045,0.09629622785667856,0.0,0.0,0.1642445245452957,0.0,0.09406656979981026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093582879626575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968474382261018,0.0,0.0,0.06936831682184033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06026389743557895,0.08109965329139998,0.0,0.12441839321571338,0.0,0.0,0.09219465124607824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170942212507454,0.0,0.0657956415950004
mentalhealth,doctormentalhealth,2019/03/20,"Spreading awareness for mental health issues Hi everyone. I started an Instagram page to raise awareness for mental health issues. It is for educational purposes only. My goal is to provide a resource for mental health related issues. If you are interested, feel free to follow me on ig @ my reddit user name. The more we educate one another the more we can help each other and end the stigma. Thanks! ",4.302007042253521,7.44896967605634,5.820545774647889,69.13955105633805,77.59154929577466,8.057042253521129,28.59330985915493,8.841846274778883,3.274111267605633,321,14,45,8,8,108,53,71,0.0,0.8420000000000001,0.158,0.9033,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,7,8,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,4,8,8,4,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,2,32,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772387758971958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497071006071072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16151183909773378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546475795274701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5390010451052476,0.0,0.0,0.11329474210805772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5292585169012435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5110161573472615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114536571193038,0.12855209069305698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963765991728767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561667486673497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iAMtruENT,2019/03/20,"Talking to oneself and inanimate objects. I have conversations with myself and objects exponentially more than I do with living people. I tend to  answer myself out loud if I’m alone or just in my head if people are around. To clarify I don’t actually think objects are talking to me I just give them a voice so they can respond. This doesn’t seem terribly unhealthy to me, but it also doesn’t seem normal considering how people react when they catch me doing it. ",5.867310606060606,7.104431715909094,7.025454545454547,70.81651515151519,67.06818181818181,9.048484848484847,31.71212121212121,9.2995712137729,3.0234030303030304,373,15,62,7,6,126,59,88,0.07400000000000001,0.926,0.0,-0.6124,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,1,0,9,1,1,2,0,19,15,10,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,2,15,0,11,15,1,5,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,5,1,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.2312637348400768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454455837625299,0.0,0.1895172780679809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109674048982892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22733815713306715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432155694700009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20926260379644132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321955459152313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4928878736531165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4314855323937163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38096005537746375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185078688989456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rachelemmaDel,2019/03/20,Just called the mental health hospital to get myself help. I have depression and anxiety. I have done therapy because but I am back at it again. I am scared and hope it’s not a waste of time again. But I feel I need that help. Wish me luck ,-0.33737142857142643,1.9300225200000007,1.5917142857142856,96.37300000000002,93.8,6.057142857142857,17.142857142857142,7.447530270364453,0.3520857142857148,186,5,43,4,7,61,38,50,0.125,0.547,0.328,0.9224,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,11,10,4,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,8,2,3,9,0,5,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,4,30,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20187607355901005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20291607177286092,0.0,0.1608656483715603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269462457193548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272891352446899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700523559377129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334313381782857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787227932018445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805040442036225,0.0,0.0,0.35376146636722616,0.0,0.0,0.2621035412309877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659402984298703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19567200805150856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642011638545488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30178262719525273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153877102113448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034618984530392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nubbinsp,2019/03/20,"Am i being a d*ckhole A little bit of context:
 I(25f) have relatively bad OCD.
My boyfriend(25) has a very active social life and I truly endeavor to have as little impact on this as I can. We have a fairly solid arrangement of seeing each other 2-3 evenings a week and I would be hard pressed to see him external to that agreement. 

As of recent my mental health is really quite debilitating and i would benefit from seeing him a couple of other days too but he makes me feel as though that is too demanding and he explains that he developed a level of Independence before he met me and that's how he would like it to stay. I don't really know if I'm asking for too much, I obviously don't want him to not see his friends but at the same time I feel completely alone in this shitstorm. 

Am I overstepping the mark? ",3.999396728016362,5.287886398773011,5.633880368098161,78.86386758691208,71.5153374233129,8.868916155419223,26.466768916155424,9.2995712137729,2.221409406952965,645,21,125,14,12,220,103,163,0.086,0.833,0.081,-0.204,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,9,0,16,2,0,3,1,24,29,14,0,5,4,0,4,1,1,3,2,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,8,18,4,19,23,4,11,0,0,4,0,15,6,0,1,5,89,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990912146105904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443407078197773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891536279026833,0.0,0.0,0.13138079814251374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856194996179028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16188271498646956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083776385174454,0.0,0.09957353687097696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197801307506704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613590850451856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192870324862909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830972539324274,0.0,0.0,0.1641171945769019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485276199253942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905543529048574,0.07543076076384309,0.3094934720295002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306144980399533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559624399415606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113499839202458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642206183627861,0.0,0.0,0.1978218298961623,0.0,0.15244878572475998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4921388866074944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573886847903999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645670634376555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169464154706735,0.0,0.09003035368057062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739400797871614,0.09106757479127904,0.0,0.12384826481559218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290384057900015,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrowawayChris55,2019/03/20,"I (19 m) had to move to the last person I still speak with from ""family"" (cousin, m, 28) but the situation is as bad as when I lived ""home"" I didnt really know how to sum this up in the title...long post I guess (english not my first language)

So to start, I left ""the home"" (because I dont consider that being my home - reasons below) in November after years of being mentally abused by ""parents"" for a rented place. I didnt have a lot of money & I had to leave that place in late February . 


As another backstory - I dont know how many of you guys know or heard (not even something good) about Romania, but that's one thing media is absolutely right about - it's a horseshit of a country with almost half of the population leaving in the last thirty years. The jobs here are at least limited, I mean the average jobs that pay enough. Most of them work like this : work double,get paid half (as a comparison with someone working the same job in a better country).


Back to the main stuff...In this three months I was like half of the time happy (the other half containing PTSD episodes and other stuff all related to my childhood traumas).But still I was half of the time happy,that's 50% more than at ""home"" (where I was myself & in a good mental place only when I was left alone in my room). I worked hard on being myself, trying to get rid off the bad stuff and for once actually being able to do what I like, pursue my dreams (I worked a lot on one of mine - creative writing)...I also started to learn a lot about making money online (like dropshipping stores, reselling, stuff like that). When the time was up and I didnt have any money left (I mean I had q few bucks but still), I figured I will stay to my cousin (the only person from ""family"" that I've talked too in three months) till I get a job (which I am starting tomorrow btw).
This is good, right? Well, the good part is that if this works out, I will be able to move to a cheap place in two weeks, the bad part is I dont know how to resist.


My cousin is a lot like the rest of the ""family"", no surprise I know, but he has his moments when he understands what the others dont - me being at his place is not normal, in a normal family it shouldnt have come to this. He says he has some kind of bipolar disorder but he uses it as a power (his words) when in fact all he does is get annoyed and yells for no real reason (example - yelled to me because i didnt record a conversation with an employer on the phone). His gf (he stays at her place 90% of the time) said the same thing about his behavior. He gives speeches about 5-7 times a day, reminds me every second to make eye contact with him, tells me that he doesnt want me to pay back (I offered because I am pretty confident on my overall knowledge and I really prefer to pay him than what he does now) but at every argument he brings the fact that he owns the place, threatened to kick me out for a night to ""really appreciate what I do"", tells me exactly what to say or act like, sometimes makes me say things like ""yes,sir"" (and if I say just yes, its not okay). He always changes his mind (almost made me choose the job he wanted for me - McDonalds, because he knows better as he said a lot lately because of his experience of working the last three years.Nothing before, now just a standard nine to five),he lies about not talking about me to ""the father"" (I caught him in the past, thats why I didnt share anything anymore and I wont share after I life his place) and many other stuff that I dont want to think about,those are the first things that came in my head.


I didnt have any other place to go otherwise I wouldnt have called him ever again. And to understand how important was that ""mental holiday"" for me, I would prefer to sleep on the streets than go back ""home"". The cousin tries to change my perspectives,views,everything, he wont be able to do that but it's hard for me to handle everything.


I am planning on talking to him some ""truths"" when I leave (how he is as manipulative as the other members from this fucking family and I didnt leave ""home"" to go to a similar place etc). 
What do you guys think? I am writing this because I am not confident enough about the whole situation. I didnt exagerate with the examples, most of them happened in the last few days.


Am I overreacting or any other thing? Thanks for reading.
Tl;dr : I had to move to my cousin and I dont know how to handle the situation/if I am wrong.",4.598520975687271,4.829096284760852,5.529179842682346,84.01426237486095,69.46718576195772,8.779604322262832,27.065807246146512,8.686720106664362,1.7156532496424592,3436,99,732,53,56,1132,341,899,0.078,0.8220000000000001,0.1,0.9833,9,1,1,0,1,0,160.0,0,2,2,14,39,29,2,0,59,2,68,6,3,14,7,110,111,46,0,12,20,7,2,8,1,7,2,11,8,4,50,21,0,2,21,3,11,11,27,6,1,15,25,14,97,23,123,72,26,110,0,0,1,1,70,49,1,17,55,500,147,18,0.11541361624152932,0.045582087557340736,0.037542346945812384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704671013571092,0.0398445665002445,0.0,0.030765409070186645,0.03201112476832732,0.08336706998559831,0.0,0.07848521674577852,0.04034041324260762,0.0,0.0,0.03815309824926186,0.0,0.0,0.031658524096453006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874594683236456,0.09636554873170597,0.14071013846075955,0.0,0.03273616226901332,0.0,0.0,0.06804930971839465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03928340206615949,0.04400081014737352,0.0,0.0,0.0813948684560988,0.03313953699069765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049621489697025734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044091334393193946,0.0,0.06733282222106488,0.0,0.27052779735862137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950207838787847,0.0429055634403164,0.02540986834526382,0.03479940781489728,0.06482729962129348,0.0,0.06915087757663398,0.037632220940283734,0.18133614307285004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654471753439811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0355660094883528,0.0803984679531429,0.03690508576717918,0.06559221781789112,0.12907128738861445,0.0,0.0,0.042380370045397416,0.07618508358800738,0.03401995989435447,0.04095331353219385,0.06892528707192759,0.0,0.039482555697633634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315385346826549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908836758443073,0.0,0.0,0.04006184032992751,0.14799937870555638,0.1254366683826767,0.08679439078914873,0.1629418069188609,0.12539723174210513,0.0,0.02717335011250766,0.15036070167646454,0.0,0.03397077920558012,0.034045806173017716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635342154976241,0.0,0.03640238475741029,0.07703948504263837,0.07800752799036256,0.0,0.08381284183201049,0.0,0.0,0.1163097795992174,0.0,0.03884495056009975,0.0,0.06141469824924128,0.12266640900660347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03610262016996517,0.07538722619047906,0.0369141591687302,0.0,0.0,0.04097057820142458,0.05213816886208368,0.05851817059227547,0.0,0.0,0.04271772085186211,0.08332113294318512,0.03672511867514208,0.0,0.06718314532759974,0.401942214787886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03684478036305547,0.039139046553882,0.0,0.0,0.044970780397523696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038481616268393186,0.0437886541796823,0.07393691789886866,0.07910961307128879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570839844065372,0.07318985233191869,0.12237538666483197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648649353095962,0.03849898885829962,0.0,0.032596527503368965,0.029617013460618513,0.038049005860466105,0.0,0.0816903516063772,0.08201037242879733,0.09216946301633112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22020163021798173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276509294485903,0.06725105843743415,0.035419117175610804,0.0,0.0,0.12779279713640124,0.049301590060000317,0.0,0.0,0.1121643462702528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05223884631950538,0.0,0.03758077760454294,0.08009976319148009,0.0,0.033226769413000366,0.0,0.0,0.06807394112294081,0.0,0.03085928043564697,0.0,0.03459023387307777,0.0,0.034714279072776445,0.04295172695860544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605247011786006,0.0,0.0,0.02732884053318744,0.0420622238090345,0.0,0.049548389916999225
mentalhealth,PerfectStormX,2019/03/20,"Creating A Transcendental Platform For For Mental Health Rejuvenation, Ascension, Mind-Blowing Revelations About Earth-Life, Cognitive Enhancement, Psy-Intuitive Weavesilk Art, Starseeds, Otherkin, Mediums & Psychics, Merkaba-5D, Dimension-Shifters, Future Earth(+Discord) Heal and expand your mind, restore mental health and thrive on your path, boost creative potentials! We provide optimal pointers and revelations that can change your life.Overcome and transmute, to transcendental rage/fire/passion, optimal energetic grounds provided.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/LightWarriorAscension/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LightWarriorAscension/)

[https://discord.gg/PRVXJak](https://discord.gg/PRVXJak) 

[https://disboard.org/server/539367976806383616](https://disboard.org/server/539367976806383616)

​

Comprehensive Introductory Information To The Community, Discord Server And Internal Chatrooms/Mission Objective On Gaia:

​

At the shift of ages, and the arrival of the age of Aquarius, golden age as we battle the last inner and outer demons of the Kali Yuga/age of Pisces, this transition time is like no other. A powerful incentive, a leap of faith: Take the first step: make the Quantum Leap, The Interdimensional Shift and Enter The Lightning Grid

​

\-Psychic tools, trainings, intent, purpose documentations, pantheon and mentorship/guidance for otherkin and humans alike: All-in-One.

→Free Speech, Absolute Tolerance for Mutual Respect and Natural Equality ( circles of responsibility but nonhierarchy).

→Diverse Environment, rapidly expanding, work in progress pantheon for the golden age with widest assortments of deities helping out. Friendly and Helpful staff whose best interest is to serve your growth and cooperate on creative works/your development.

→ Knowledge on esoteric/transcendental topics generally not discussed/shunned/overlooked/disregarded/labeled as forbidden or far-fetched knowledge by others (metaphysics-spirit science, free energy, universal law, light body process, central nervous system rewiring, DNA-upgrade, cosmic origin, obscure(d) truths, connected dots and converging rivers).

\-""Convert""-friendly- encouraging ex-religious ones for the One-Source path of the truth-seeker lightwarriors/workers/starseeds/otherkin/enlightened human old or mature souls(motto: strength in unity, collaboration versus illusion of separation)

\-Various high-quality reddit/youtube/no-nonsense channeling websites/ news/video post feeds ( of spiritual/esoteric/cosmic theme)

\-Weavesilk avantgarde spirit-art. (Interactive generative art- subliminal, angelic/demonic/divine, spiritual source channeling and through the higher aspects of self outside of the boundaries of the human psyche box/confines. - Surreal, intricate shapes including the semblance of elements of Gothic dark fantasy, with multiple meanings will be created on the screen and you will recognize your ability to master your soul-mind interaction as well, as I fill the screen with this magical stream of thoughts with a natural flow.)

\-Soul ScienceTechnology & Source Transmissions. Logos God, Elohim, Doctor, Scientist, & Architect Of The Age Of Aquarius. 

\-Multiversal Starseed Community. Come join your star families and twin souls, or otherwise join and commune on the older site with archived content in the interim period 

\-Soul technology/higher-self descent to physical vessel: Production of DMT internally without the use of  physical substance and unlock spirit molecule

\-Sections encouraging to showcase your work (media/documents/arts, personal photos)

\-A place of unconditional love and growth for Starseeds, Indigos, Human Angels and Walk Ins' to reunite with their long lost Star Family and Soul Mates.

\-Server voice chat option for those interested

\-Server map for ease of access with descriptions and guidelines for each topic (accessibility)

Our own e-literature (growing library of PDF e-books and Links), videos, (multi)media and psychic tools, image-works not available anywhere else and written/crafted/made/authored exclusively by us.

\-Mainstream launch Mid-February with over 340 members and counting

\-Logos God, Elohim, Doctor, Scientist, & Architect Of The Age Of Aquarius.

\-Futuristic & Future-Oriented Community Dedicated To The Universal Law, Spirit Science, Soul Technologies and Extraterrestrial Soul Origins

\-A joint planetwide effort for reconstructing the new pantheon for the golden age of Aquarius, fusing the ancient with the new influx past with the future to create the new present in the Now with the help of deities and entities of various origins. Spirituality, lightworkers, ascension. 

​

We are highly focused and streamlined, yet loose and flexible (effortless effort being the motto). Our basic aim-quintessence is to harness all available energies to create an interdimensional rift/gate to haven that can propel us to 5th dimension and beyond while still connected to Earth but ultimately undergoing physical transfiguration, also fueled by the bowels of the earth likewise (as above so below)- which constructs a beastly cyclotron that irons out certain unwanted specific frequency-sets, diminishes their influence on the collective.

​

""As soon as humanity unites on this planet, it will qualify to establish contact with other more advanced civilizations, such as the Agarthans and those from the GF. In fact the Agarthans and some ascended masters such as St. Germain will already help us run the cities of light and the numerous healing centres which will manifest very soon all over the globe. The next step will be visiting other civilizations, but this could only happen after the incarnated human personality has completed the LBP and has ascended at least to 5D by transfiguring from a carbon-based body into crystalline light body.""

The three cities of light will be open portals to the multiverse and to numerous advanced humanoid, and later on, other civilisations, such as the dragons. Alone this fact will make the existence of national states and nations obsolete as all the people will recognize their multidimensional nature and will strive to ascend too and be able to live in these cities of light and enjoy the advantages of a higher dimensional life. In the first place, they will enjoy the healing possibilities there which will help all humans advance rapidly in their LBP and also ascend.

(Source: [http://www.stankovuniversallaw.com](http://www.stankovuniversallaw.com))

​

""You see, nothing is ever just about one thing. We are not just sharing information with you. We are also preparing you for contact. Now, all of the other beings from the other star systems that are connecting with you all through the various channels that you have there on Earth are doing the same thing. And certainly those who channel faeries are readying you for more interactions with the fae.""

""We are excited to witness the coming together of humanity and the Arcturian beings that you will be meeting in the flesh. Now, of course, some have already established connections with physical Arcturian beings.  A full and open contact with the fourth and fifth dimensional beings who are from our little star system.""

(Source: [www.danielscranton.com](https://www.danielscranton.com) )

​

\`\`\`Keywords: spirituality, starseeds, occult, esoteric, lightworker, light warrior, spiritual awakening, light body, soul technology, quantum, lucid dreaming, astral projection, psychic, chaos magic, otherkin, bilocation, golden age, mentor, indigo, crystalline, human angels, transliminal souls, walk-ins, lucid dream, mental projection, multilocation\`\`\`

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mentalhealth,Hedgehoglover03,2019/03/20,"What do you wish your loved ones knew about your mental health? If you could tell them anything, whether it was that you needed extra patience, more hugs, more space, to not feel guilty when you prioritize yourself etc, what would you tell them? ",10.443863636363636,8.91275020454546,7.203636363636368,82.60045454545455,58.31818181818181,9.70909090909091,33.36363636363636,7.1686216300943375,1.9672636363636355,195,5,37,1,2,53,35,44,0.0,0.758,0.242,0.915,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,7,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,9,9,3,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,9,2,2,5,4,2,0,0,0,2,12,1,0,1,1,28,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409318735364425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23375991962314516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265255750178925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803767688987832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112100023057231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642441525345964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29505200583655544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21709165103042397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983943829540152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5118028704457247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366809857782785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079815449128037,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bigmacmuncher27,2019/03/20,"Do I have anxiety? Hey, don’t really know who to talk to but I think I have anxiety. My teeth chatter uncontrollably in normal every day situations. For example when I talk to people I’m not completely comfortable with. My teeth chatter in durations where I know I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing. My friends also know me as the guy that’s always paranoid and apparently im very indecisive. The other day I took half a xan and every anxious feeling disappeared. Do I have anxiety ? Am I stupid for self diagnosing ? Idk ",2.5657666666666685,5.402895110000002,5.124000000000001,73.16866666666667,82.9,8.933333333333335,28.333333333333336,9.2995712137729,3.4996333333333336,421,20,71,14,12,148,65,100,0.278,0.667,0.055,-0.967,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,2,3,0,11,3,2,0,0,13,19,6,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,1,1,13,2,9,16,0,8,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,3,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617221521501886,0.15209084359112582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194875393301248,0.20649377457825208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19164543685102295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357609825611684,0.0,0.0,0.1855218063892316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30800663077270546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242102962005797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121838426917993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098479381494625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743797304321814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013597463095786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908940892088646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671933851971864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709604392379848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19068346672114048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20545675691747056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071597278993614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938295429875545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712053976354425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030796334223308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15081585648797874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,diepyrocynic,2019/03/20,"I finally build up courage to tell my family of me mental problems I’m currently dealing with but it didn’t end good It was at just a family gathering and we talked about what’s going in our lives and I felt shaky the whole time because I know I can’t lie to them, I told them all these thoughts and how I feel and stuff I went through. While I was talking I could see their concerning eyes but some of them started laughing at me, I thought I could feel relieved on the feelings I have and maybe even get some help but they started joking about me and some called me crazy, I tried holding back my tears I thought the people I knew for so long will understand me but they turn the whole situation against me. My mom doesn’t really understand them but she is trying to find help but the rest of family just don’t believe me and think I’m weird. I feel nothing anymore, My thoughts have gotten worse.",2.180885225885227,4.437009884615385,2.8764102564102565,92.44914529914531,79.27472527472528,6.462026862026862,24.946275946275946,7.594959193182576,1.1782151404151402,717,27,152,11,18,224,110,182,0.086,0.7879999999999999,0.126,0.85,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,7,0,8,8,0,1,6,0,12,1,1,1,1,42,37,16,0,3,8,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,1,15,1,0,2,4,3,0,0,12,7,37,5,17,22,7,16,0,0,2,0,20,5,0,4,9,104,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872294612685698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205176642030263,0.0,0.07297582177485214,0.0,0.0,0.13487534956164432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224017029260645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911618856325271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341865718971748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603002272990156,0.0,0.0,0.0790691862279795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385637675489148,0.0,0.24212158786288315,0.0,0.11494307727033044,0.13113953890675215,0.10941534545645157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254500563180009,0.0,0.068035552372519,0.10040943070369787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604819548596001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579103316131275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570861016744476,0.10594207541723814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026761462203882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064236222853054,0.0,0.0,0.14020620377451268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486767605805555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299379367839714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454899777540314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669109564090737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539561544152217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456222146225744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946669528619576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704253379695738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19244125444619609,0.10463427813488348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767071389906722,0.0,0.3801544168456109,0.06980550597803671,0.0,0.0,0.1143907262997779,0.0,0.1625542884302924,0.13021316789898724,0.0,0.2492505276511868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097498020224242,0.0,0.2673101687546772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219975873164593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,goldistastey,2019/03/20,"Should I see a social worker? I am going to counseling for my anxiety for the first time, and I made an appointment with a local provider and they have me scheduled with a LBSW -  Licensed Baccalaureate Social Worker. 

Of course there is a chance they will be great, but is it worth the $80 or should I try to find someone more a experienced?",6.0168181818181825,6.370874772727272,6.578333333333338,77.28750000000002,66.42424242424242,9.630303030303034,30.13636363636364,9.516144504307137,2.591527272727273,269,9,51,5,4,88,49,66,0.022,0.865,0.112,0.6608,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,8,0,8,0,0,1,0,10,11,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,8,1,7,6,1,5,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,3,39,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318351958870713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769855256664115,0.2577772611187831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17223236063726816,0.0,0.0,0.3341176946875577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867566702959425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24149450499023076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6178500185023548,0.2567763555153734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671300755004155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20575352041507972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blackhawk247,2019/03/20,"My longest relationship I wrote this a few months ago when I was at a lower point, but now I wanted to share it with you all

Lmk what you think 👍



D. You have always been there for me. Whether I was happy, sad, mad, confused, you were there. You've been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I know I can count on you to be there waiting for me when I get home after a long day.  But lately, you have been coming by more often. I see you frequently now, when you only came by on occasion. What changed? Why did you want to get more involved in my life? Our relationship hasn't been the strongest, but you never faltered. Every time I told you that I wanted to see someone else, or take a break, you were patient. Waiting for me to come back. D, you always knew you'd be a part of my life. I just never knew how much you would be here. Yet, even though you are here, ever present, I still try to get away. Our relationship is... dysfunctional. Your words are a drug that I can't stop taking. I know they're poisonous but they take over before I can stop myself. You tell me things I don't want to hear, but I don't fight them. I don't want to fight with you anymore. I want to do one thing, you want to do another. Any time I want to see someone you push them away. I'm not allowed to date because you won't let me. I try to see others without you but you're waiting to hear from me when I get home. Sometimes you even show up unannounced. Usually you do...
I don't want to see you anymore. Go away. You're smothering me. Pushing people away from me because you want me all to yourself. Some days it's easier to just give in to you and stay home. When we fight you ruin my day. Even though I go out and see other people, your words repeat in my head. When you yell at me I can't think about anything else but you. I hate you. Why do you have to be so easy to give in to? Your embrace is cold, yet you cling tight as if holding me closer is going to give you some of my energy. And it works. You take that from me and never give me anything in return. 
Now thinking about it I never even get to talk when you are in a mood. I try to reason with you but you don't listen. It has to be your way or you get mad. Why do you stay? Why did you ever introduce yourself to me? I hate our fights but I can't prevent them. You're too persistent. You love me but I can't get away fast enough. Just LEAVE ME ALONE!!! GO AWAY!!! ",-0.0950962309542902,1.9543551279069789,1.8063993584603075,97.95732558139535,86.86821705426355,4.64389200748463,17.423683507083663,5.935793293072707,-0.5512368618016574,1850,44,441,14,58,609,202,516,0.107,0.794,0.099,-0.9184,2,1,1,0,4,0,76.0,4,46,4,2,38,17,10,1,9,0,47,7,1,3,8,76,104,32,0,12,19,0,1,0,0,2,5,4,3,0,15,12,0,8,9,1,0,9,17,13,0,1,15,12,110,3,67,80,11,74,0,2,6,1,75,21,0,7,40,316,125,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05262314259958407,0.0,0.0,0.0614838298316291,0.0,0.0,0.09879221790317667,0.0,0.0,0.040369968727240496,0.062248966948375874,0.0,0.0,0.1177474775785375,0.0,0.0,0.09770402738626363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346500168618293,0.04564771872767498,0.0,0.07237622733037909,0.0,0.05051490848259727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789729594719852,0.0,0.0,0.06279988315711636,0.1022747055372044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485578197362788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884409756189007,0.0,0.09918302395576133,0.0,0.0,0.06133950859813171,0.0,0.1568390532119066,0.10739737215208396,0.0500172421042049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217108900257898,0.22779176309693303,0.134953097760339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319472845160228,0.0,0.11722051901844699,0.06092521387618127,0.0,0.13381645404320636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864262453207705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652504714105815,0.0,0.06696586288104289,0.06285854765790923,0.0,0.060704333135859365,0.12579293346778775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507161889737733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05357887592235723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0473842632507249,0.0,0.04363981701406927,0.0,0.18314257973771825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04022699433848057,0.0451494589950129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857216953849668,0.0,0.0823118881320802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056118742324444734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061036703562721575,0.0,0.1912061152720128,0.06724852773912808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838354367896813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059887839948553,0.0,0.05871311466202553,0.0,0.0,0.12654954553991096,0.04740865214946318,0.09926293990555378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785391869758136,0.04771502273216242,0.05188728346359062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887841462944943,0.1141153301414082,0.11665085070861465,0.0,0.06923195993826489,0.0,0.0,0.05672542637959677,0.0,0.12091401487663507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653817280762418,0.0,0.3501478352508907,0.04712086215455487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21426929839732836,0.0,0.0,0.057225363097132866,0.0,0.04321814121209902,0.0,0.0,0.04217091383910309,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uhso,2019/03/20,"Any tips on being more “present”? I have been feeling quite fatigued lately, which is weird since I don’t even really do anything all day ( waiting to start a new job and I’ve just been chilling at home, so I’m supposed to be my most chill mental self) but I feel trapped, and like everyday goes by like a waste of time even though I have been doing productive things like painting or working out etc. I have no motivation to do the things I’m interested in, I often had to push myself to do them. But when I finished but the end of the day, I just lie in bed and think wow what a waste of time, here I go again tomorrow. 

I want to be more present and have a sharper mind, but I don’t really know how to. I have mild depression ( I’m a highly functional depressed person) and am not on any meds because they fuck me up. Can anyone give me any tips to be more present and live life better? 

TLDR: feeling tired and done with everything even though I don’t do anything exhausting. Want to be more present. Any tips? ",3.1040060975609762,4.520200678048784,4.027362804878049,89.00884908536587,73.92682926829268,7.271341463414633,26.47103658536585,7.8658589789855275,1.3812987804878043,789,28,169,11,16,254,117,205,0.18,0.6829999999999999,0.136,-0.9186,1,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,4,14,12,1,0,8,0,26,5,0,2,1,31,41,17,0,2,8,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,2,2,4,9,0,1,6,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,5,3,19,6,21,31,7,27,0,3,0,1,5,8,1,3,20,112,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591932240551389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233220187255248,0.0,0.21733125951347831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049625519713514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678720512257285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703222301509304,0.0,0.2274683802216569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513266244350552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695681611584688,0.0,0.1472702914736342,0.2616526914547433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867773174141752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030484739326232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220777951369826,0.0,0.12667407911685655,0.07504687241690798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951772986156685,0.1324565889826295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103892514197707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257104704316215,0.0,0.14895778315060607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327058941786974,0.19353840084930893,0.0,0.11660228077767815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14667741855782035,0.0,0.13307501226220608,0.0,0.13333252689298825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753439731756466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530068132392968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045108186001978,0.0,0.0,0.16918880407005565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775660820563904,0.0,0.0,0.10923285430957604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346543841095643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17545587073982524,0.08461209871244066,0.2594762671102154,0.0,0.15399845282207025,0.1517716741557632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577263719160206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961337348595046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,karoshi41,2019/03/20,"I am not sure what to do I just got up and out of class, “I need the office” excuse as I run out, because I had just absentmindedly punched the cabinet to my right because Jesus, I’m so angry. 

It started today with reading *Night* by Elie Wiesel. This shouldn’t make me spiral, but it instilled a negative energy in the day.  Next, in the hallway, is when it kicked in. I couldn’t get around people, so I said FUCK IT and bulldozed. Ever since I’ve been at high school I’ve always wanted to bulldoze these slow ass inconsiderate mother fuckers in the hallways. Now I was, but it was just in-fucking-furiating. I get to class, *throw*  my shit on a seat (not mine) and take the bathroom pass to go, well, piss. 

This is when it gets mixed with something else.

As I’m in the hallway, stalking to the bathroom, maybe for a breather, my girlfriend comes behind me and says hi. 

I just look at her, then keep walking.

Who. In. The. Fuck. Does. That. To their loved one? So she’s like “wow, okay” and storms back to her class. I just look, almost calling out her name but pride made me turn around and keep walking. I couldn’t fucking believe I was doing it when it happened. So now that the spiral REALLY is happening, I’m punching the fuck out of lockers and hanging my head on shit, as a slight distraction. So I go back to class, only to stay there for maybe 5 minutes. After texting her with relentless explanations and apologizes (she’s insensitive to this now, I’ve done this too often), I punch the cabinet to my right and the class and teacher fall silent. Without thinking even once, I got up, told her I need the office, and stormed the hell out of there. I’m sure everyone was surprised because the quiet little white kid just left the classroom, in anger. Well this wasn’t anger at this point; I was in complete shock and my adrenaline was maxed the fuck out. 

I love how I’m paragraphing this as if it adds to chronology

So I leave after wallowing the school halls in careless, crazy thought, somehow not caught by any APs without a pass. I go to my car and chill. I am here now. 


For the past 2 years I’ve had this “spiraling” issue. I haven’t done this in about a month, but it just made a hefty return as of today. I wish I could be different for my girlfriend.

A lot of days I’m fine and in fact almost euphoric with energy.

However it seems to just BAM switch to “the world hates you and you’re special in that.” ",2.442607954545455,4.479696014583336,3.4145454545454537,90.01227272727274,77.39583333333334,6.28030303030303,24.45075757575757,7.259408732682427,0.9756666666666668,1877,65,390,23,44,600,230,480,0.18,0.71,0.11,-0.9927,2,0,1,0,0,0,75.0,0,1,1,1,37,29,13,1,29,1,25,13,5,4,4,74,70,36,0,9,18,1,0,1,2,1,0,3,0,1,26,29,0,2,3,1,0,14,11,16,2,1,20,6,46,13,69,45,1,75,2,0,3,9,24,35,11,7,26,256,72,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725301976177833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168230379362024,0.0,0.0,0.058583812042384574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338053936981993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248548158033446,0.0,0.15754564959814096,0.0,0.0,0.0970596564024722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796706711597735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742091499545654,0.0903248749276952,0.0,0.0,0.06878242390860931,0.0,0.0,0.11111707960582412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000665911125161,0.0,0.0,0.07538897574926418,0.1763192837103647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719658674060215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690015315810696,0.07792608791096517,0.0,0.08231841197350312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982136702977373,0.1350268253474737,0.0,0.14688022736306575,0.0,0.13780136328919335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236135048942362,0.0,0.0,0.08505363108014571,0.08841303054951019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102043040250142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991646448984297,0.0,0.15314517094411287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121863249706673,0.09360040221090372,0.0,0.0,0.04208771784105851,0.08634324904403556,0.0,0.0,0.14468578430010634,0.0,0.0,0.07324022133424453,0.15550444528135646,0.1630312475352165,0.05750467283793007,0.0,0.17309513398109655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687627674621954,0.0,0.0,0.12775577603095686,0.0,0.0,0.0916197161058777,0.08084436287379951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917451496781084,0.05837633145763161,0.06551967967699705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223831973355085,0.0597243982991957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08143800840182151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617163338633345,0.0,0.055188820019580566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714038987706904,0.08194678049328882,0.06850860214422733,0.0,0.17437339902361132,0.0,0.07842619541242556,0.0,0.0,0.17686002586809846,0.07126278088968674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632118589111137,0.0,0.0,0.06097622460145299,0.09182264717679536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623875449585737,0.0,0.06477281567060918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05520036521312987,0.0,0.06839214355854781,0.0,0.0,0.16331706941283966,0.08231841197350312,0.0,0.0,0.09370463451200743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050812511414071136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491537212310807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990663169422014,0.16608781336397144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055476693871583035
mentalhealth,Guntmunch,2019/03/20,"Is it normal to feel physical pain from anxiousness? Sometimes during real bad spikes of anxiety(mind you, I've never been diagnosed) I'll get what feels like a bunch of hot needles stabbing into my sides, back, or joints. It started some years ago as just a flare up of general itchiness, which I've had a chronic issue of with eczema and just the habit of scratching during anxious episodes, but nowadays its just straight up jabbing pain that lasts seconds after and I was talking about it to some friends who were discussing their own anxiety issues and shocked at it and they essentially said that I should prolly go see a doctor? Idk I've had this for years and just sort of learnt to deal with it but I am pretty sick of it. 
Also I've never gone to a doctor before for any mental health concerns.",5.38042780748663,6.8596130915032685,5.413630421865719,81.02315508021394,68.41176470588235,7.916577540106951,30.248960190136657,8.296473431620573,2.2502732026143795,645,25,115,9,11,202,106,153,0.14300000000000002,0.78,0.077,-0.8276,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,2,0,7,6,0,0,6,0,8,8,0,0,2,26,16,10,0,2,7,0,4,1,1,1,8,1,0,0,13,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,7,6,7,2,23,8,4,17,0,0,1,0,9,6,0,4,10,78,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589632864488474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259858104277199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425319102063957,0.0,0.11727850606753147,0.3463838010557644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788268582337402,0.12800392706153366,0.0,0.0,0.13045193170716438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15805153291473725,0.0,0.15560214492442545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138299345649119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503202264895152,0.10952168358435103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844366936005417,0.0,0.080095945308101,0.0,0.08712721066676299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295688077411294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200228193268863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124964676394888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489746287817793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544961735838985,0.0,0.15479514049302284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23647774510815406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020711960335328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262563286451285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559670979809214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449554647410798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582890840412302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216486224364399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162334158922858,0.0,0.10851062383058176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232213830300462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974477986923528
mentalhealth,lougrylls,2019/03/20,"Gaslight I feel like I have been gaslighted into constantly comparing myself to the person who has manipulated me, and even though I stay away I find it difficult to stop beating myself down if I feel I can't compare. Any advice?",6.00062015503876,7.4320005348837235,6.739534883720933,72.27271317829461,66.90697674418604,9.454263565891472,32.93798449612403,9.725611199111238,3.377114728682171,185,8,31,4,3,61,35,43,0.235,0.708,0.057,-0.7783,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,8,6,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,9,1,5,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,25,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078783620053119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21425534533430796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29601441033765996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404738784613392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20809779253772495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31861316881850954,0.22508285749559767,0.0,0.0,0.28796416082480275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539250896449834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751030435980309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33581790420434066,0.0,0.2634088672703418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095502559214324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,coconut_wine,2019/03/20,"O.C.D breakdown???? Okay so i (17 F) had a whole mental breakdown thing, i don't know what it was all i could do was cry and pray, i've been having disturbing compulsive(i guess) thoughts for about 2 or 3 weeks, so in this breakdown thing (idk what to call it) i kept on crying and praying and repeating words in a certain order, i have literally no one else to talk to, my family don't believe in mental health, so i guess this is my last resort. ",4.125,4.766139500000001,5.075555555555557,85.39000000000001,70.66666666666666,8.222222222222221,27.222222222222214,8.344100000000001,1.6408888888888895,345,11,73,5,6,113,62,90,0.14,0.763,0.097,-0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,1,11,1,0,0,2,13,16,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,6,0,8,2,9,9,2,8,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,3,49,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22195586902678036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116295020148608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729153840292098,0.0,0.4327989422146368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16457143196689386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857176904243596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43404388726845855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20940587294844806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826816009707377,0.16058442591611574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39706707618412734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349490261480024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834422674725732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617611992277402,0.0,0.0,0.1563990459145613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580245998825386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21994775545891213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Psyc_Survey,2019/03/20,"Identifying Contingencies Between Evolutionary Mechanisms - Depression and Suicide Survey Hello r/mentalhealth members, 

I’m a senior psychology major and I am working on a research project for my senior honors thesis. My project is on personal factors (e.g., personality, background) associated with depression and suicidality. The main goal of our study is to better understand certain understudied factors surrounding these experiences. We thought that the members of r/mentalhealth be interested in helping us better understand these questions.

If you are interested in participating in this study, please follow this link to our survey:

https://roanoke.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_3wqW7ukmxT2qZxj. 

Obviously, given the nature of our research question, this survey does include some questions about your past experiences with depression and suicidality; these questions are minimally intrusive, but if you are uncomfortable answering them, you are under no obligation to do so. The survey takes most people around 15 minutes to complete, and should take no more than 20 minutes. All of the information you provide will be completely anonymous.

Thank you in advance!",11.795869275233436,15.147750543352606,10.471676300578038,43.68838594931083,55.12716763005779,13.1843485993775,47.9897732325478,12.367839424501927,7.779930546909737,976,60,99,34,13,306,113,173,0.103,0.799,0.098,-0.596,0,0,0,0,0,1,37.0,5,6,1,6,3,10,0,0,7,0,12,0,0,0,3,28,21,9,3,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,7,9,0,0,10,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,0,15,7,22,15,6,14,0,3,0,0,21,9,0,8,3,79,22,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909750112514817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167750439139581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569874427235733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31666226659740465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724631560719973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397592681150926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214420196113366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699000690079385,0.08496231187367156,0.21401582674293484,0.0,0.13452558852773655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5491463503345231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4021568705191853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842881074623149,0.0,0.0,0.11282966297395368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972928115846503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551624660879861,0.14741528896218148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921951070714525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spidey1997,2019/03/20,"Is the want for acceptance related to burnout? I always have that weakness that I need to have acceptance from other people through social media, even as stupid as getting likes. Can you get a burnout from that particular feeling? ",7.255916666666668,9.468453425000009,6.4250000000000025,72.74666666666668,64.75,9.333333333333334,38.333333333333336,9.725611199111238,4.2428333333333335,187,10,28,4,3,57,31,40,0.129,0.623,0.248,0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,2,1,5,1,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,5,9,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,3,8,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,22,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.367291789010521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29154976810711497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22319216929720606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4612411675929673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21565257201719865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273028701053956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060208717906865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44996596001088296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603573997164517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anothername1145,2019/03/20,"Entire life always have an excuse to hide away, what is this? So, my entire life I've always had at the time what I felt was a valid reason to shut myself off from the world. When I was in my late teens my acne was the excuse. Then it was waiting for a nose job. Then losing weight. Hair loss. Crap apartment. Ear issue.

​

If you couldn't tell by now, I've led a sheltered life and I'm unhappy, but really want to actually live a life, but constantly put barriers up. Recently I've realised it's something I need to speak to a professional about. I've spoken to my doctor and she's referring me. I'd like to understand better myself in the meantime, so does anyone have any suggestions regarding categorising this?",2.6472736418511076,5.00858123239437,4.320643863179075,82.15126760563383,78.22535211267606,7.437424547283702,22.818913480885314,8.418075326091056,1.6361674044265588,573,18,107,12,14,192,95,142,0.063,0.851,0.086,0.6309,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,3,5,5,1,0,10,0,9,10,4,2,0,15,15,10,0,4,3,0,3,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,6,2,1,2,4,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,6,6,12,2,17,8,0,19,0,2,0,0,7,9,1,1,9,65,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.16134559598727954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751481686226889,0.17914316347822218,0.2009032171286424,0.1124352018652096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156078573977342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553400683161224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622762461927075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867115144735515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922998566617364,0.14468800187750447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874997384740008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256944339175406,0.16407200374444247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865079550093244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4671311972266135,0.08077557411391663,0.0,0.14599608343580084,0.0,0.0,0.18497042377978448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259569637679782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620990162541807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591946654333301,0.16999453560712874,0.16325088153942618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272849216130265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445123039327394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640965347008584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721222177348568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752036917614708,0.0,0.0,0.20133659047972652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009032171286424,0.0
mentalhealth,ranguardlow,2019/03/20,"Therapist suggested I go to IOP. I'm scared of that, but also desperate for help. I've had on/off things with therapists for about 5 years now (talk therapy). 

A couple of instances of medication (1st via GP, 2nd from psychiatrist); the first time did a lot of good with regards to my lifestyle, etc. but I had issues with anger outbursts and losing my filter. 2nd time, medication seemed to make things worse and the psychiatrist was no help whatsoever, so I stopped seeing him.

I've had years in the past of using alcohol to self-medicate, which wasn't working any more. I started working on staying sober about 5 years ago. I'm near 1 year sober now this go around.

Fighting intense depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, etc. My job burnt me out completely, I'm barely able to get myself up to do things. In bed a lot, wishing for death.

IOP seems like a terrifying commitment, I don't know if I can do it. Not to mention I'm scared of medication aspect again, though I would hope such a place pays more attention to the patient and how they're feeling with it as opposed to my previous doctor experiences in that regard.

Has any one done IOP and/or have words of wisdom or experience to share. As I mentioned in the title, I'm desperate but scared too of it not helping or making things worse. Thank you.",4.700342422320865,6.381876582329317,5.53872331430987,78.69460367786941,70.32530120481928,9.097526949904882,30.37433946311562,9.549672527348893,2.8864811244979918,1035,43,193,24,19,338,151,249,0.227,0.6459999999999999,0.127,-0.9868,1,0,1,0,2,0,39.0,0,1,0,4,12,13,2,3,10,0,14,5,0,4,1,35,34,15,2,4,8,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,11,9,1,2,5,0,1,2,5,7,0,2,7,2,16,6,39,26,6,27,0,2,1,0,11,10,0,8,15,119,27,5,0.09947413263801594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817781665788374,0.10630759577454804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954942793160709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352916426144131,0.0,0.07609743919540797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855306778865149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429673549638724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006623573572333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856769246802487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181598983491776,0.0,0.10179657436986836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221879905381654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19460957861902106,0.0,0.0,0.050297110325042964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461264640551214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051971128659946034,0.0,0.11306688392094134,0.08343418293851114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20002624284761505,0.0,0.0,0.09880025869383667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382515028306992,0.09871272753276512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466838182454175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04859803657441352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128610992423768,0.0,0.16913870068039022,0.0,0.0,0.13279951193034914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049333652286863,0.3006291702698291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740624668630686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495931533570892,0.0,0.0,0.10392929661684323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987728805201972,0.0,0.07926800475313019,0.18111502873301447,0.10377321484366346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040830307173855,0.10602618993762812,0.0,0.0831648290421906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880855580094292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799535398012628,0.0,0.09158241656187753,0.11375733992819308,0.2309942699216795,0.26434477455609434,0.0,0.097732830259093,0.0,0.11600833338202275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591371214306315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439034333557635,0.0,0.0,0.14483670658335476,0.0,0.20274527894208225,0.07066356977375265,0.0,0.0,0.2562323201253365
mentalhealth,Ejenea,2019/03/20,"35F USA Can’t sleep or eat, crying every day. Outpatient programs are full-what do I do? I’m trying my best to hold out at work until there is an opening at the local behavioral health center, but big things are happening and I can’t focus on anything. I’m not on any meds, I’ve cut off most of my friends and family so at least they don’t have to see me like this. At least I still have my parents to support me, I still have no one to talk to about this.

Now my fear is that I can’t get my short term disability cleared- my employer HR asked me for documentation from my doctor to “certify” my illness and to confirm my days out- he said normally they don’t get this bc the paperwork normally goes to the insurer, but I don’t want them to know I’ll be out bc of my mental health it’s none of their business.  I haven’t seen a psych in over a year mainly bc all the ones I’ve called in the past were booked up 3mos out.  I don’t know how to get them documentation except by asking the psych to send the docs directly to my insurance. I’ve filled out the paperwork for FMLA but I feel like they’re holding out signing it until I have a doc note. 

Help",1.7822721088435358,3.3585936489795927,3.697959183673469,89.3296598639456,77.81632653061223,7.27891156462585,22.68707482993197,8.11559375814309,1.0325646258503405,904,27,205,16,21,306,139,245,0.064,0.838,0.099,0.8149,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,5,2,7,7,1,1,12,0,20,6,1,1,2,29,36,11,0,3,6,1,1,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,7,10,1,2,3,1,0,2,11,2,0,2,3,4,29,5,40,32,8,34,0,0,2,0,15,22,0,2,12,132,36,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066708535980284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181802432575023,0.0,0.2767805592614376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535083560639978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511575970476084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626066033640521,0.19093725975903905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151739962114358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147406709029573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472365322810824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955174044554472,0.16657756758419806,0.07484961229827086,0.10575435209414798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143694390269196,0.0,0.2320224048118131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090453267326627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147029662354829,0.0,0.0,0.09922297477176834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270943432324478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464227358369347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443058749960154,0.0,0.14918180769022385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900805775387213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006211250843808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643724243751393,0.0,0.14131364388637946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14081267946358025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796263016078586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813927354821255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23643767796643694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798537506383318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189828087006264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983461264510556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050425964758744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731332505582798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776932575512983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953279904935149
mentalhealth,mischief2008,2019/03/20,"Do I have depression? I am starting to suspect that I might have a serious problem. I think it is easier for me to make a list:
-people have been telling me I look ""gloomy"" (that's the best translation I could find)
-I have a lack of interest and enjoy of things that are supposed to bring me joy: college and general activities. Sometimes I feel that I just don't care anymore. Sometimes I feel like I care but I don't really know what I actually want. 
-I feel sad during great part of the day
-I have a difficult time getting out of bed and sleeping at normal hours (usually I am not sleepy until 4-7 am)
-Sometimes my body is hungry but I feel disgusted by food so I can't eat. Sometimes I am hungy but I don't want to move so I don't eat. Sometimes I crave food and eat lots of it. 
-I have low energy, I feel fatigue during great part of the day (I think that probably is due to my poor alimentation). Sometimes I feel I have low pressure and have headaches.
-So, in general, I have a very difficult time at mantaining healthy food and sleep habits (sleeping at night and being awake during the day, eating all meals, etc)
-I have self destructive thoughts and fantasies with suicide and death. Obviously my self steem is very low and I have a history of self harm (cuts on wrists although they were never deep, hitting my head against the wall, choking myself with a belt until I feel my head is going to explode so I stop, etc)
-I seek ways to avoid reality (lots of netflix, spending unhealthy amounts of time out of my house and sleeping at other people's houses, like my boyfriend or my cousin)
-in the last few months I engaged a series of ""reckless"" behaviours which I did not realise they were such until today: having unprotected sex, walking alone and drunk on the street at night, doing some drugs more often than I should (lsd 4 times in 4 months, marihuana on a daily basis although I stopped already, and I tried to do ecstasy the other day but it didn't hit).

The only ""new"" thing is the drug thing, and I think the marihuana actually gave me more anxiety. I must say that all of the others items were a reality during all my teen years, but they got worse since my mom passed away a year and a half ago when I was 18, now I am 19. When I was in High school at least she was alive (although she had been ill with ups and downs since I was 13) and my life was a bit more in order. Now I feel lost and I dont know how to get my sh*t together. I feel like I am neglecting myself. 
I was never diagnosed with anything so I don't know what's wrong with me. Thank you for reading and any supportive and informative message will be welcome",4.434510858106684,5.329269519924104,5.322582226438964,82.97576876449506,70.11954459203037,8.512102045119121,29.629401222854728,8.761943790366164,2.1835140628294325,2075,79,422,35,36,679,256,527,0.19,0.696,0.113,-0.9926,0,2,2,0,0,1,72.0,0,1,3,2,13,34,3,2,25,0,56,24,8,2,7,82,90,40,2,8,9,2,9,3,0,4,6,1,1,3,18,27,9,4,19,4,2,5,12,19,0,1,18,11,75,15,53,63,20,66,0,8,1,1,17,26,0,6,36,292,93,3,0.0,0.0,0.1247734992493442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667035260024428,0.0,0.0,0.06621250924302227,0.07054867451257747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04347479548383407,0.0,0.04890650363811037,0.0,0.06340167787905752,0.0,0.0,0.05260918874205783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006462022974235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709090446089166,0.0,0.06979532854593784,0.071012149972173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036240082470374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104314157886698,0.0,0.0,0.16491901575572113,0.0,0.055063072724654084,0.06488790761422399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492583412844282,0.0,0.14827770028727874,0.2616666237755099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425983648662156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29092571991856603,0.0913436365498338,0.0,0.0,0.05843113495720824,0.0,0.2319143134141088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680188505049538,0.0,0.036333062112837856,0.0,0.05113090013719899,0.140966760359835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122186103099734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675458707558395,0.0,0.0,0.06295846659279959,0.14753396286174014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540326098461783,0.05211172622903888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045155860723876944,0.0936993443272792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053685349779853786,0.0,0.06978747318896618,0.10870250783248338,0.0,0.0,0.042673970911709866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781994426235571,0.0,0.07487439335323444,0.1020571092286914,0.06794779023892122,0.0,0.0,0.0986139753076708,0.06174428100775119,0.0,0.11998850943385078,0.06263811918887703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04862187308779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384605673926928,0.0,0.0886424392995814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892767497544824,0.06117266202748042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394759930044126,0.0,0.0409553864745011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083993962272052,0.0,0.06470087551564463,0.0,0.0,0.20007973315334476,0.0,0.0,0.10576760769841853,0.0,0.25590587420360394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793722015585429,0.0,0.04525019457604755,0.0,0.0,0.10689718490185823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992937063849931,0.07254734553079159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055877899040065036,0.05885842987789635,0.0,0.0,0.12741734953799105,0.12289186233925148,0.0,0.05075351620611029,0.14911308550160468,0.0,0.06059844813961113,0.0,0.0,0.043404476426589365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041019218269187,0.10549838375355593,0.07541549328160822,0.05074489551954727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651504362500873,0.0,0.06989774585000637,0.0,0.08233803284912262
mentalhealth,reznikova,2019/03/20,"I (31F) am going to have to stop communicating with the people in my head soon and I'm freaking out - is this ""normal""? I'm not really looking for advice, I just want to know if this is ""normal"". (If you know any other subreddits where this would be more appropriate, please let me know.)

I'm 31F and this is something that absolutely no one in my life knows.

When I was a kid I didn't have many friends so I started creating people in my head. I'd give them names, imagine what they look like and, while alone at home, I would talk to them out loud and pretend to be them and talk back to myself. By the time I finished high school, I had a ""permanent"" group of head-people with really complex lives, family histories, personalities etc. 

However, I am now an adult woman, and I still have head-people. They're now adults, some are in relationships, some moved to other countries, they have degrees, jobs, birthdays, problems, happy and sad times, everything and anything that real people have.

In the past 10ish years, I've more or less removed my actual self from these ""fantasies"" so I just pretend to be any one of them and talk to the others, I come up with new topics of conversation, new issues to resolve, new big events to celebrate; I sometimes cry (as them, never as myself) or dance with them or complain to them (again, not about my own problems, but about their problems that I made up, rarely inspired by my real world problems) and all of this happens out loud in my flat when I'm alone.

The issue is - I have a boyfriend now, we've been together for about 2 years and we're moving in together in May. And I'm freaking out because I will never have the sort of privacy again to play out all of these things in my head. For some reason, these people give me comfort and the idea that I will lose them is really upsetting. Even now, when my boyfriend stays over for more than a week I start getting anxious to talk to my head-people.

​

Just to add a few more details: I still don't have many friends (I'm shy and introverted) and I don't think I have any serious mental issues. I saw a psychologist at school because school was making me want to die (not kill myself, just die), and I sometimes joke that I have lifelong depression (I have felt unhappy all of my life regardless of what's happening around me) but I've never actually been diagnosed with anything and it's never affected me so much as to seek help. I present ""normal"", I have a job and hobbies, I'm not very awkward, I'm physically healthy and clean.

​

I've never heard of anyone doing this - making up people and evolving them over the course of 20 years and feeling so attached to them - so I don't know how normal it is. I tried googling it but I always end up on schizophrenia which I don't think I have (I don't hear or see anything that isn't there). Do other people do this? Is it as intense as it is with me? Did this happen because I didn't have any real-life friends? Is it a symptom of something I should be worried about?",5.159787704555505,5.730171176470589,5.7078394515701065,82.02862339672713,68.32773109243698,8.481645289694825,29.775541795665628,8.452757503120043,2.06972268907563,2370,84,469,33,38,766,248,595,0.133,0.799,0.069,-0.9908,3,2,2,0,0,2,101.0,0,1,13,2,31,24,1,2,17,0,54,7,3,6,8,103,92,45,3,16,17,0,2,1,3,6,4,4,2,6,31,35,0,1,15,6,0,6,18,14,0,2,12,10,69,10,77,69,15,71,0,3,4,0,37,28,0,11,37,332,100,5,0.0,0.0,0.10794686995300096,0.0,0.0,0.054047143840371986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145665252240005,0.0,0.0,0.04602137324290747,0.11985417793788088,0.13441255287956458,0.15044759095674448,0.0,0.0,0.06248322941616601,0.0,0.038673216556348325,0.0,0.13654335150422536,0.049236580557314495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042529072549266786,0.0,0.10114723940551774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04764365550988192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060754147351993075,0.0,0.0,0.047637410078102856,0.05613729331063698,0.11480365678785495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048987202575678346,0.0,0.06168396029738207,0.036530957397896836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049708005733332505,0.0,0.05214023801526653,0.0,0.027965803852551367,0.0,0.05310514574968209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819438339136416,0.0,0.028896578366175162,0.10611452980454664,0.031433279939124814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672823432520454,0.058877272861830435,0.0,0.0,0.3405768673537851,0.0,0.06233706569479445,0.0,0.037072339654563975,0.05843681046222755,0.05547926125612326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243693140883124,0.0,0.17318413139525754,0.10977094938820617,0.0,0.06119102037153961,0.0,0.1519814193262218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655702102862389,0.07813251779426694,0.027021098223658342,0.0,0.04883870593385882,0.0,0.09289096652625467,0.06187642792085279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052334547691691234,0.07383814056827782,0.1121489353274173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05573828700152424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756905626020855,0.040658350418349816,0.0,0.21328787827799786,0.16025282401431798,0.0,0.0,0.21676362198258456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495738268396587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052798531953211984,0.34509757810992425,0.04829353278165867,0.0,0.060712481113274874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116923042885332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888606550746696,0.10629674901085462,0.05686668395135577,0.0,0.059380979487567084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16792645162196096,0.04407397280645377,0.0,0.057699167063711136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515887152830967,0.10940368468143538,0.0,0.07829574226314356,0.05895184856281365,0.08833939845958072,0.046240654411250866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748704672737812,0.0,0.1778205544572596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03674472582474514,0.0708793237988635,0.0,0.0,0.06450204148224623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037551061726945716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045635573177838666,0.06524515618050176,0.0,0.04436540337819159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056168796719111326,0.0,0.07857960503269355,0.0,0.13441255287956458,0.10685121012421488
mentalhealth,chackzo,2019/03/20,"If my partner doesn’t text me as soon as he gets to work every morning I’m convinced something terrible has happened to him. Every day my partner texts to let me know he’s safe at work, but sometimes he forgets which can can result in me having an anxiety attack. It’s even worse when I occasionally call him after work to ask him something and he doesn’t answer his phone after several calls. At that point I become convinced that something awful could have happened even though he probably just forgot to turn his phone back on. It’s gotten so bad that at least once I self harmed to try and relieve the tension. I have Aspergers, anxiety, depression and possibly bipolar or borderline personality disorder, but I don’t know why I have such an extreme reaction to incidents like this. ",6.210270270270272,7.467523270270274,6.765783783783785,72.91570270270273,66.29729729729729,9.703783783783782,35.07027027027027,9.888512548439397,3.7169924324324315,636,30,106,14,10,208,95,148,0.233,0.687,0.08,-0.9827,0,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,9,11,1,1,3,1,12,1,0,1,0,16,22,12,0,2,5,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,4,7,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,16,5,16,18,1,12,0,1,0,0,19,6,0,2,7,71,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22105001193828666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506709868884034,0.16436418311421938,0.0,0.11109439394448538,0.12063280201065385,0.0,0.1595642121969484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295055666228532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153536464073038,0.0,0.0,0.0931761312140826,0.0,0.1244383873074372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558390261590547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19085224901764908,0.0,0.2434573009657283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075483608464321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555222155858975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158802274856195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477381846783021,0.0,0.07058448141313832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386398085672895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615231027202362,0.0,0.0,0.1365780775301074,0.16287684098878774,0.0,0.0,0.15577134167006956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072169722532808,0.1632186193489629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33367785802785954,0.14289208906328693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194855650831614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809083985300583,0.157150194220922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036860608726042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155443473972183,0.0,0.14723506731775465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PM_ME_YOUR_REPO,2019/03/20,"Broke and need a therapist. Someone tell me what to do. Life has been real shit the past 6 months, and I just lost my job two weeks ago. Deeply depressed now, struggling to find motivation for literally anything, and have relationship problems. I doubt everything I have ever thought I knew, I feel lost, alone, and scared. I need a therapist asap, and I'm done hiding from that fact by thinking this is just a low point that will get better. But I'm broke. Someone please tell me what to do.",3.786063829787235,5.826049680851067,4.181861702127662,86.00875,73.46808510638297,7.253191489361702,26.643617021276608,8.07648339933343,1.6125787234042557,386,14,76,6,8,121,66,94,0.321,0.609,0.07,-0.9757,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,4,4,12,1,3,4,0,9,2,1,1,2,21,20,6,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,11,0,1,6,1,9,1,6,13,0,8,0,6,0,0,3,2,1,1,6,44,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900888681379092,0.0,0.0,0.16241520972962312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904710183819393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869197083373122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506632820858755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047832687346894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418500341492872,0.0,0.0,0.14093708717508047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929143157809793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143327977557579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193045615435393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561676268218064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107645469690912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423687524931211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516990361246408,0.0,0.0,0.232555767632856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969965483077596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17213807146439702,0.1482428360326146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005277471733353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784921779065509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836286548041804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700126216703092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097048742968814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657412197411967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393926913977885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741300940138973,0.0,0.0,0.3641534519590096,0.0,0.10048205806869198,0.0,0.1244952513259407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318750867591222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257892090262822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,J0MBY,2019/03/20,"Intrusive Violent Thoughts Over the past few weeks I've been having intrusive violent thoughts. I'll be sitting in the cafe, working on my laptop and I'll get the thought and urge to do extreme violence to other patrons, employees and passersby. This extends to online, in public and today I started a log of when, where, what and to whom they happen. Most recently, this morning, for example, I saw that attractive icecream guy on my twitter feed and thought about throwing acid in his face. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't enjoy and revel in these thoughts and fantasies as if the person deserved it or personally wronged me. 

I don't feel guilty about having these thoughts even though I'm completely aware of how wrong they are, how they would affect everyone around me and the potential repercussions (the fact I typed ""potential repercussions"" as if I think I could get away with a murder is another concern). I don't want to implicate myself but I did once put a knife in my bag to ""see if I could"".

I'm not sure what to do, I don't want to go to a doctor because I don't want to get sectioned or put on a list and most importantly I don't want to hurt my reputation. The only person who I guess is aware of my less pleasant side is one of my close friends who once told me that I can be a bit scary sometimes when we were talking about cannibalism.",7.210321027287321,6.4975357490636725,7.316021936864632,76.57862359550566,64.1685393258427,10.774638844301768,37.42348849652221,10.125756701596842,3.6562522204387378,1083,49,209,21,14,350,144,267,0.107,0.81,0.083,-0.3089,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,3,1,11,12,3,0,14,0,25,3,1,3,2,47,49,24,1,13,8,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,14,14,1,0,8,1,0,4,8,7,0,1,12,4,30,5,33,30,6,27,0,1,2,0,16,15,0,9,7,147,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117997846542547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017583779388592,0.0,0.0,0.10572593482520752,0.0,0.0,0.06859743530315236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285395843221872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798589386484107,0.0,0.0,0.17969259904415047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151795452967218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432521148553685,0.0,0.0,0.10752753796783844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056898708212437615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694064190581258,0.0,0.17637733456156346,0.0,0.06395357104147613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396482829658555,0.11142270343123177,0.09951018555153893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046602917189195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396822248843487,0.07625345347106653,0.08558437505301525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742291834306762,0.0,0.2947713906003846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767631350808568,0.0,0.2262480944812263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111010989560437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967209137628762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112953585184824,0.0,0.07964953585448956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605848975595847,0.0,0.0,0.09044760429186112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721048818119077,0.11056046273336427,0.5360190001401444,0.0,0.0,0.10666558040343288,0.10752753796783844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654931804115193,0.0,0.0902650306371407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192340924835928,0.0,0.0,0.07993830682960898,0.2460684673906376,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YasOnReddit,2019/03/20,"Bad memory is taking over my life. I can’t enjoy things like I used to. (LONG) Hello, this is my first post here so guess I’m a little nervous. I don’t wish to get into too much detail, but I recently remembered a traumatic/bad thing which had happened to me a few years ago and it’s basically been haunting me every day for the past three weeks.  

It’s not exactly the event itself, everything I do or seem to enjoy somehow gets linked to this thing that’s happened so I can’t really enjoy anything like I used to. Anything with no rational link somehow gets linked to this bad thing and I feel like I can’t enjoy it anymore, like I’m not allowed. Now whenever I try and find something that I enjoy, I mainly just feel empty or just not much emotion at all. All I really want to do is sleep.

It’s frustrating because I feel like I’ve been cut off from my past life where I used to have a burning passion for things and found joy, and now I just don’t feel that much or anything. The worst thing is I know I have a lot planned for this year, but I’m worried I won’t stop feeling this way. I have a concert next week and I’m ever so grateful to be going, but I’m so scared I won’t feel like I should be when I’m there. But the thing is I know I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t go. But I guess I’m also scared because I think I’ll look back and remember I wasn’t feeling great then.

I don’t like to self-diagnose, but I’m pretty sure there are some elements of depression somewhere in here. I’m trying to get help from professionals as soon as I can. I have currently only been through the referral stages, so I’m not sure when exactly I’ll be able to begin some sort of therapy. I’m waiting on a reply, but with how things have been recently days just seem to drag out for so long. I’m struggling to concentrate on my studies because I just keep questioning, what’s the point?

Thoughts of taking my own life have crossed my mind, but only a few times. I don’t feel like I would do anything as of right now. I know how much it would affect my friends and family so I wouldn’t want to hurt them like this, and they’re practically the only things which are getting me through this right now. 

Any advice on how I can keep going through the here and now?

Thanks.",2.9667516301126247,3.9111009626556026,4.371728512151748,88.24787136929459,73.60580912863071,7.666247777119148,25.80462359217546,8.052868069273773,1.3387239359810317,1792,58,397,26,35,596,197,482,0.128,0.6829999999999999,0.19,0.9848,2,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,1,2,35,33,2,4,17,0,41,6,1,8,7,94,97,39,0,9,21,0,8,9,1,6,4,1,0,0,29,14,0,4,23,1,0,5,17,12,0,2,8,10,48,21,46,80,15,53,0,3,1,1,5,14,0,15,40,261,77,1,0.06500484441201236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635219816216217,0.05762287240337391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05198435059068287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044205523311265725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446733833395979,0.0,0.0,0.21397379271753791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04998471284325591,0.16282898948959584,0.11887904940123192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384549385829096,0.0,0.05598857723953465,0.06597854873696737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312170055065564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880060336824231,0.05476938505307055,0.0,0.058422162620952324,0.0,0.06128078202864652,0.0,0.2629472200939777,0.1857578953460948,0.0,0.0,0.059413250130527985,0.05529308744911755,0.0,0.07127445665366502,0.05022258154123218,0.0,0.16981174114632885,0.0,0.14777500446629585,0.0,0.0,0.07166807045150399,0.1432203296615843,0.0,0.11496713846349416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04357137696606027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958903040522993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555858501116065,0.0,0.0,0.10717488739588274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18365937611937627,0.28582275112369776,0.06515193148621158,0.0,0.1150544834429436,0.0545876974176737,0.0,0.0,0.05526479412385853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563636205802342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19114416078435992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913338949605627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831734021743245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241089588854564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145058939191628,0.0,0.06225667194803736,0.06613329643042892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728203027989813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328753574901421,0.0,0.12836888322799886,0.0,0.1472756335634412,0.111027563894846,0.0,0.0,0.13016237888644033,0.0,0.0,0.11835593788296417,0.06781422975151083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505179013322639,0.0,0.0,0.050043905077723896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434696065269491,0.0,0.06795717744433198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225325931151757,0.0,0.0977511060902579,0.0,0.0,0.059847727058298425,0.07433870481350181,0.0,0.38867697151254893,0.04165247951864197,0.0,0.051606585351555705,0.037904847531755576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826804465140486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842994281863874,0.0,0.0,0.07668308290329715,0.05159781976780586,0.10428593031109276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747523629869182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601557491063598,0.0,0.09235515278038596,0.0,0.0,0.08372197706758844
mentalhealth,crotch_dog,2019/03/20,"I had a rough term of college dealing with my mental health, and now I might fail a class I’ve always struggled with depression and anxiety, but this feels like the first time it’s ever really affected my grades/performance in school. I felt pretty awful this quarter, and overall have had a hard time feeling confident in anything I do. Failing a class scholastically reinforced how much of a failure I’ve felt in my personal life recently. Some words of encouragement would be nice. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it certainly isn’t helping me get out of the negative and depressive mindset I’ve been in for the past few months. Thanks for the support ",7.606190476190478,7.568157714285718,7.631587301587302,72.40785714285714,63.12698412698413,11.644444444444444,37.84126984126985,11.20814326018867,4.392536507936508,536,25,95,14,7,173,85,126,0.212,0.5670000000000001,0.221,0.5204,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,3,11,0,1,11,1,9,2,0,2,2,23,17,7,0,1,3,0,6,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,5,6,9,6,14,9,4,16,0,4,0,0,4,6,0,2,11,64,14,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500383320323315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794214304936928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483856685578557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858990866573858,0.310613832087692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597074934420268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16310720544959142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234756020135973,0.12881862372377936,0.34626552530542354,0.0,0.0,0.15337769440944826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942082800662766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615287682323761,0.0,0.0,0.19166872185153885,0.0,0.0,0.12086279948554254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990976020435328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273633512136117,0.08809386207927422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817172983497818,0.19128802423218136,0.0,0.0,0.1439274463842371,0.0,0.13255386899814853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17213314401122398,0.0,0.15744599945473114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834473891429925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551579768432856,0.0,0.17804145374902894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249060476373327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885066592560432,0.0,0.0,0.20462178995887698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601182562458375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102887861601991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280921454541965,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cam_run94,2019/03/20,"L O S T my mom went into a coma in july ‘16  passed away sept. ‘16.......... we were 2 peas in a fucking pod. 

i feel crazier everyday and i just don’t know what to do, my family is straight garbage. my head is everywhere, im trying to finish school out but today, in class i was thinking about how bad i miss my mom and how shitty my life is.

“i think i might kill myself when my mom dies”. I’ve told myself this since i was 16. i actually thought about hanging myself today after class. i just hate feeling like this HELP ME !!!!!!",0.023696969696967333,2.032049945454545,2.5740909090909128,92.93446969696971,85.9090909090909,5.121212121212121,19.166666666666664,6.42735559955562,0.01257575757575724,394,11,89,4,12,136,74,110,0.215,0.691,0.094,-0.9545,0,1,0,0,0,2,26.0,1,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,2,0,9,4,1,2,0,17,20,6,2,0,3,3,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,6,0,0,3,1,5,0,0,6,2,20,1,11,13,0,16,0,1,0,1,6,7,1,1,7,53,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.16247966041864853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643192115019436,0.0,0.13902027006626094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280037094017822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156961071137246,0.0,0.16837447219267918,0.11894739778326327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15392626232065065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438395396091887,0.17087669695960378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160121938914816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984821549060895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842072162901461,0.0,0.0915038644948954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760364116526735,0.08134332872144384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17662983854189124,0.0,0.5850072048604402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850655541146795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773024789334185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133725316270296,0.0,0.13218214008315582,0.0,0.0,0.3156444384378472,0.15909757022880427,0.0,0.1130423468584182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543468625253471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LTimberlake,2019/03/20,"Problems with personal commitments This would be a more organized post if i were to write it later when i have figured some things out, but here it goes.

(I really believe I struggle more to understand myself more than other people. This process takes a very long time when I realize I have a problem.) 

Disclaimer: I have Inattentive ADHD

I have a problem with commitments that I make to myself and with responsibilities. A lot of articles that I have searched for have talked about people being scared of commitments, and I don't believe this is the case for me. A lot of articles talk about people forgetting responsibilities, and I don't believe this is the case for me. I struggle with commitments that I make to myself. I often forget resolutions and goals that I make to myself, or starting responsibilities is very very difficult for me to do. After I have started something that I need to do, its not bad, but starting them is very hard.

​

​

I just realized that I'm talking about two things that might be unrelated, but I'll give some examples.

​

I have told myself that I would love to get to know a certain person and that they're very cool, but I forget and never do anything about it. Those feelings of attraction leave me, and I sometimes can't find that attraction again if I don't see them often.

I am very interested in Electrical Engineering (which is what i study in college) and i would benefit and really enjoy working on personal projects, but I never complete them, or never get myself to start them even when I have ideas. Also I always forget my ideas.

I have been 100% on board with reading a certain book and decide that I could totally finish it, and decide where to buy it, and then the next day forget completely about it. Also I often start a book and never finish it. This whole thing makes me read much less frequently.

Doing laundry isn't something that is hard for me, but getting up and starting it is hard",7.508476709484881,7.723862468664851,7.623534449202026,71.53263396911899,63.27792915531335,10.47821461009472,34.914882574283126,10.181067101454742,3.599198884131309,1574,64,269,32,21,510,160,367,0.099,0.779,0.122,0.9115,0,0,2,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,4,2,18,17,0,3,12,1,37,1,0,4,11,80,60,30,0,10,12,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,33,20,0,0,11,4,1,0,10,8,0,1,3,6,50,9,38,49,11,32,0,0,1,1,14,7,0,12,24,225,83,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475459267329752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279397127308255,0.05868054410231621,0.2292339801729376,0.25707843491077564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580341813323051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058883517039986163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383648326013134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788343918161134,0.0,0.0,0.056306645378668474,0.0,0.0,0.045481313694262594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046579584780588615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03565840110125948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445647923188966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053561563270194,0.06765180944542863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189523488024585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592231108711586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03875743703879767,0.0,0.0,0.07467336712012174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062410379050828586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991177210043967,0.06364949908495401,0.0,0.18829782593319744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481345060396045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05184230623146598,0.052291695808871407,0.21756584588158276,0.0,0.07500170205287318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14667470224466345,0.18473313031923813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754126181700568,0.0,0.0,0.2024421272539708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108358871538956,0.0,0.09035730761214786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060553540696055,0.0,0.056197469192903284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10858365503447008,0.06974876336283876,0.0,0.29949802231970857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745129704149038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302430119340922,0.1700504486206688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055646446526504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041122359277617836,0.0,0.0,0.06738747150414133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889044023234897,0.07341662813412503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491317284726194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873608710428298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134137273650901,0.0,0.0,0.15029192917578346,0.0,0.25707843491077564,0.0
mentalhealth,dickgirls69,2019/03/20,"I need to know what this is For the vast majority of the time i feel normal and down to earth, nothing really out of the ordinary, but there is a specific feeling and reaction I get at random times that makes me question my sanity. It goes like this: I'll be going about my day normally until I sit down, once I've found a seat the world around me seems to expand to gargantuan proportions, and sound becomes muffled. Looking out at the world from my own eyes feels as though I'm on the observation deck of a high-rise. After this my mind begins to hum near the back of my head, starting as white noise and escalating into vaguely human yelling, it always gives me the same feeling that getting in trouble with a loved one can give. I can try to shake my head but the only thing that happens is an increased sense of vertigo. I have been experiencing this exact thing for short bursts for the last decade or so, and I feel that maybe I can find answers here. Thank you.",11.126836200448773,6.726603104712044,10.434674644727004,68.84994764397908,59.83769633507853,13.636798803290947,40.89827973074046,10.914260884657429,4.16743320867614,767,26,152,13,7,249,126,191,0.029,0.862,0.109,0.9366,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,15,0,9,5,3,1,1,32,31,13,0,3,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,13,10,0,0,11,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,2,11,18,3,32,28,4,28,0,0,3,1,6,15,0,4,10,103,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248407555148362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356254893349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536729945827927,0.0,0.0,0.16570136077747194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675986564642117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3793098549129325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371288505966296,0.0,0.0,0.16450512800333025,0.0,0.0,0.15677370842396315,0.28785360232471585,0.08526808609550676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326750473947049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30795744408369563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851972798543287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245505892559052,0.12229817417764845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329929724776266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12599122564675086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541202924178225,0.0,0.10014921986030807,0.0,0.1507298604991622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149211441197072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124870963276948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940039858611637,0.14396218668263927,0.0,0.0,0.1597818875020051,0.10166728659192233,0.11410802777092595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807302076531078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611596757622556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658580945765825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619521897069988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813164579105208,0.0,0.0,0.1993525620773888,0.0,0.14740817286017774,0.0,0.1749726925441957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186360349641724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,arthurcotten,2019/03/20,"Dihydrocodeine,Codeine,Opioids Available For Severe pain ,Cough etc  Dihydrocodeine is an analgesic  with opioid that is used in conjunction or as an alternative to Codeine  in the treatment of cough, severe dyspnea, and severe pain.  Varieties in stock just to help patients. We are open to anyone willing to purchase from us .[https://puremethlab.com/](https://puremethlab.com/) Can't Dialogue here .18564415476 [arthurcotten.info](https://arthurcotten.info)  at gmail  come you will get respond asap",14.599705882352936,18.513324264705886,8.802235294117649,56.17805882352943,49.0,10.734117647058824,43.01176470588235,10.793553405168565,5.6106847058823535,422,20,45,9,5,110,55,68,0.189,0.775,0.035,-0.8934,0,0,4,0,0,0,32.0,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,1,0,8,9,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,13,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,0,31,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511321243938517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18618794898029525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24105644140528704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292573168384615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448760136121898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4599825183037098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7325397813932373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599932667242283,0.18667804713096292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jamasstin,2019/03/20,"Is drugs temporary? Weed is just a temporary stress relive from everything what's permanent?
 Because whatever you smoke or do stupid after hours you go home being sad don't you and ask for me 
 Is it worth? 
Thats true that you don't get any bad feelings you just get high 
And time passes fast 
But again you go home stressed",1.6307812500000018,4.295808015625003,2.2800000000000007,92.965,86.03125,6.325,20.5,7.6454224807358475,0.8876,259,8,53,5,8,80,47,64,0.17,0.7240000000000001,0.105,-0.6898,0,0,2,0,0,0,3.0,0,6,0,0,3,6,1,2,1,0,7,1,0,0,1,8,13,4,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,5,0,0,0,1,7,1,3,12,0,9,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,1,5,29,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643626189539406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150579601138692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920752320518673,0.1402313007740308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667753683167161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674666982027207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631600845907257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403746140393273,0.0,0.2614760279785111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24305171329539896,0.4615012145257252,0.0,0.22654476136882395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5270240389589287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341391801614872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tslime,2019/03/20,"Talk to me, knobs, and tell me what's real. Depression anxiety mood swings drinking adrenaline neuroticism panic panichhelpl peljhjeplheplehnpek PHHE:P{LPEMKHEPKPPPPPPPPPPa",15.969545454545456,21.3320705,11.763636363636365,30.315454545454568,48.54545454545454,15.30909090909091,47.36363636363637,13.023866798666859,9.322836363636364,149,8,11,6,2,43,21,22,0.398,0.602,0.0,-0.8625,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031306608876431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412901022129509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881747805269404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4649147580781491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510199873639996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184912608954886,0.34634053152449745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reset_them_all,2019/03/20,"Panic attacks every night for three weeks... help? I'm not sure how much help I can get on this particular subject, but I figured it was worth a shot. As the title says, I've been having panic attacks that jolt me out of my sleep nearly every single night for three weeks now. They usually occur around 3AM. I believe I handle them fairly well - I speak soothingly to myself, assure myself that it will pass, and enter a sort of meditative state by focusing on my breathing until it stops. I usually take my Klonopin as well, 1mg to 2mg under the tongue, but I've been trying to take it less because my monthly supply was recently cut into a quarter of what I'm used to. Despite coping fairly well when it happens once, I feel my mind being worn down from attacks every night. Is there any way I can help myself experience attacks less before I sleep? 

If some background is needed, I'm 20, female, diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression, struggled with panic disorder for about a year when I was a teenager, am medicated, and see a therapist once a week. I also am unable to identify any triggers that may be causing these attacks. 
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.",5.753684210526316,6.7004659473684205,6.692385964912282,74.15436842105265,67.15789473684211,8.71157894736842,30.989473684210523,8.841846274778883,2.678282105263158,948,36,161,15,15,316,142,228,0.2,0.665,0.135,-0.96,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,2,0,11,18,6,4,9,0,18,5,3,4,2,27,31,13,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,11,8,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,11,3,3,6,4,24,7,28,19,5,29,0,1,1,0,10,8,0,4,17,114,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091376232573074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809071348180788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893999197301192,0.0,0.5044058930599437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05405575946708532,0.0,0.07545631606280087,0.09990691816307497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109416145403502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763760749957658,0.09000376210467698,0.0,0.0,0.1016298012046652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22413879043875093,0.0,0.0,0.08674165084106511,0.0,0.0,0.04483699531224393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046329286852445764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776504768441928,0.0,0.0,0.07841544849201998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377492637893837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933123335186087,0.0,0.0,0.08953697268543953,0.0,0.07077993510532485,0.0,0.06518669288831501,0.06575175687753537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496478386061821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888730189347007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121247659927092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365690979233512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755635467033554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051831380391789,0.0,0.0,0.07066288966818478,0.0,0.0,0.10017807030320376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747907329625195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413668550361363,0.0,0.09270288221083582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357560579858825,0.0,0.13334587477955798,0.0,0.0,0.08164048303236925,0.0,0.10295908582721056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170739498170707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06020484115164253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658715746733523,0.19532706231280675,0.0,0.0,0.07038648143073804,0.21339040284146613,0.0,0.2391897619242672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299252832253964,0.0,0.0,0.057104112254461235
mentalhealth,Erelbor,2019/03/20,"I went to the hospital after years of having episodes of severe depression. Here's the whole story. It just happened today. I was sleeping when suddenly I hear knocking on my door. I go open the door just to find 2 policeman and my landlord at the door.

Apparently the neighbors notice a foul smell in my room, and since I had not talked with my landlord for a while and was late on a payment, she thought something might have happened to me. 

So anyways, the cops and me talk about the state of the room (which was a mess) and they ask me to clean it out. I'm not panicked at all during this situation and instead I begin seeing it as a way out.

They start asking questions about why my room is in such a mess and about my general life. For the first time, I don't just hold it in and I say that I quit university and that I'm not functionnal right now. The whole situation being ridiculous probably helped. 

So the policeman then referred me to intervenants that they work with, who just happened to be nearby. They come to my place, we talk a while about my symptoms (lack of energy, lack of motivation, thinking that things would be way easier if I was death and general apathy).

They suggested that I schedule a meeting with their psychiatrist, although it could take a month to get one. I then ask them if there is a more short term solution which leads to them saying they could set me up to have someone bring me to ER when I was ready.

After considering everything, and overcoming the anxiety caused by the idea of meeting someone and having to open up, I say that I would actually like to go now. So the two of them decide to take me there. We then make our way towards the hospital, with me still being anxious the whole way.

The two of them then come inside the hospital with and tell the receptionnist what was wrong with me since I was still very anxious. They then sit together with me in the waiting room and wait while reassuring me that everything will be alright.

So we meet with the doctor and talk about a lot of the situation. He then refers me to a psychiatrist, so I head up to the psychiatry unit waiting room. The intervenants leave at this point. It's a bit uncomfortable since a few people there are really looking unwell, or a bit weird. The worst one is probably a teenage who I overheard was raped by his dad. It really broke my heart.

Anyways, after some questioning with some people and others and finally the psychiatrist, the conclusion was that I indeed suffered from depression. 

They then needed blood samples. The problem is that I'm deadly afraid of needles. So the super sweet nurse that is in charge of the blood samples and of taking care of me takes the time to talk with me for a while and we succeed.

So now I have to sleep over at the hospital. I'm left thinking about why I am like this, or how will I get out of this. I'm also left wondering if it's due to my mental or if it's due to biological things. I'm also wondering what will happen from now, but atleast something will.

So bless the 2 policemen,
Bless my landlord who was worried
Bless the intervenants 
And bless the nurse.

Might update this if people care enough, just felt like sharing.",5.411545771301867,6.360210363636366,5.862369337979093,79.79238675958192,67.92857142857143,9.321444409249287,30.284130503642697,9.500547302748984,2.6383929838454234,2528,94,486,51,41,814,253,616,0.065,0.846,0.08900000000000001,0.9632,1,0,2,0,0,0,60.0,5,0,13,8,38,28,2,1,52,1,39,10,6,5,1,97,82,55,2,13,17,1,1,3,1,8,3,4,13,0,34,41,0,4,15,0,0,7,4,13,1,5,14,11,67,15,80,53,16,84,4,4,2,1,48,32,0,17,41,366,101,6,0.0,0.0,0.0661913354236108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084856796059454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05188901178826593,0.15325496324021542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19023292189720664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481034364052933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831240530285147,0.06967908406891082,0.0,0.11685738304536678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831190038422836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684206464030572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694258723110464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008550564302488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192069236157825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512649262674106,0.07430337186465223,0.061994492042029815,0.05769532658645541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087572292046737,0.0,0.07709758612994502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399239003054583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961213936186728,0.0,0.07644823099593899,0.08037771086067366,0.04546435982963957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657070318949134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651408477345238,0.07182113449022524,0.14739284927878446,0.0,0.047909640131884035,0.09941349351668424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056959290490217626,0.0,0.0,0.057665804041841885,0.0,0.0,0.045276395059333806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835569484250359,0.14391173465799134,0.0,0.0,0.05414047365795829,0.0,0.0,0.05029435610382288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722378458795906,0.0,0.0,0.09192539370285667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107229823026282,0.0,0.07086688532907935,0.0,0.06412034464813313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146262303508924,0.06490320805902089,0.0,0.0,0.15196804323788402,0.07214450803886664,0.0,0.0,0.08690600936405378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057925609280784676,0.0,0.16182106857925455,0.0,0.0,0.05405094411265938,0.0,0.0,0.07662748162010771,0.0,0.16832658954595356,0.2287279686263026,0.13575600314320854,0.0,0.11494261073953015,0.10443618109688084,0.0,0.0,0.04800972682799165,0.0,0.10833668001867908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050031916814997,0.2039959152309802,0.2725919697907301,0.059285549902489326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012516891590347,0.08692418961683596,0.0,0.05384866234155841,0.07910328970386833,0.0,0.06429397638265509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325181859031267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596604204972744,0.0,0.2153580637284623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287817762957737,0.12241027410521454,0.22718602304570534,0.0,0.0,0.14711534949943395,0.049380331682244163,0.06888365851819586,0.0,0.09636757409341218,0.07416038131087985,0.0,0.04367966261445702
mentalhealth,Invent42,2019/03/21,"I can't cry anymore. I have no one to talk to, and so I would like to cry. However, since the age of 11 I have internally berated myself for crying.
Now I can't. I just want to cry.",-1.7065853658536625,0.09488712195122062,2.2860487804878065,93.27785365853659,92.41463414634146,6.206829268292682,17.956097560975607,7.554174236665415,0.3857960975609762,136,4,35,3,5,51,28,41,0.152,0.605,0.243,0.6018,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,7,1,6,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060311160960956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9128097837988316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149563405376064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14077605246737232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185206283095214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698072162948666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225357022994477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757888022301718,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,strugglingredditor,2019/03/21,"Am I autistic? What's wrong with me? I'm 25 f and have a hard time maintaining social relationships. I don't bond well with other people and usually keep to myself. When I do bond with someone, they're usually the only person I'm interested in hanging out with, which results in me depending too heavily on them. I also don't handle disappointment well and I come off as selfish quite frequently, even without realizing. I'm trying to stop, but I often don't notice until after I've said the wrong thing. I'm in a relationship right now, but I fear I've pushed my partner away like I've done with everyone before him. In college, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, which I know can cause irritability, but I worry there's something more. I don't know what to do, I'm tired of ruining everything but I can't afford traditional therapy and the low-cost clinic has a wait list",4.0514037985136255,5.9020424682080925,6.076684558216352,73.5052167630058,72.29479768786126,9.56713459950454,29.12014863748968,9.957137785484203,3.2017501238645742,709,29,127,20,14,247,109,173,0.23,0.728,0.041,-0.9834,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,10,11,0,1,6,0,13,3,0,3,0,28,24,13,0,0,5,0,1,1,1,0,3,1,0,2,6,13,0,3,3,0,0,3,6,7,2,0,3,2,18,4,22,21,1,21,0,3,0,0,8,9,0,2,10,84,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771479895550108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126066521008475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829808493015094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525530706516247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121367912094055,0.0,0.12679870192653026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678208035049707,0.1494036476689171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506354426157554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972233958249896,0.0,0.0,0.14065472774292834,0.1322927582883681,0.0,0.0,0.16563953398902195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318611803943898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083702544712575,0.0,0.0,0.16179318300645115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191388113950456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16758676924684793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195129359077352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204908939554816,0.12852828362195148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565640053209991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160727713929392,0.0,0.12570694078020575,0.14001973341520652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500506034422118,0.12472103565900225,0.11332080055316253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306475842022195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833461594309315,0.0,0.09779231856500938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583278344231629,0.16918332621874832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999382988560176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242372864819474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26469873466684324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189435637829856,0.0,0.0,0.1494874907590003,0.0,0.0,0.3218774831178768,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jpitcher84,2019/03/21,"Finally Found Relief I've just turned  23 and struggled with depression and suicidal ideation for the past 10-11 years and have been struggling with anxiety a lot more the past 5 or so years. Most of that span I have believed that my life would be a constant struggle of those things. I had tried different therapists throughout that span that helped somewhat, but didn't stop the feeling that my life would be dark and dreary due to those feelings. I've finally found a combination of medications that work for me and found a therapist that seems really impassioned and like they can help me sort through my struggles. I've become more open and comfortable talking to my close friends about what is going through my head and bring honest with others about how I'm feeling. There are a lot of things that I'm still struggling with and need to work through, but I'm no longer letting those things hold me back like they used to. Instead I'm happy to say that I'm better than I was a few months ago and getting more comfortable with who I am. Anyone reading this who can't picture a life that's not dark and dreary, please know that there is help out there and people who care. They might not make things perfect, but they have relief to give. Any day can be better than the last.

Tl;dr: After struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time, I've finally gotten proper help and relief. Even if it doesn't feel like things can change, keep seeking outlets that could help.",9.323955652888039,7.730826071174381,7.831459074733098,77.41424582534904,60.53024911032029,11.066082671776623,36.91787571858747,9.661875296680813,3.2877755817136602,1190,43,224,17,13,357,148,281,0.135,0.6409999999999999,0.224,0.99,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,4,5,12,23,0,6,12,0,24,5,1,3,1,57,49,21,1,5,8,0,4,3,1,3,4,1,0,0,27,23,0,3,9,1,0,2,6,8,0,0,8,5,16,15,28,33,8,26,0,2,0,0,16,5,0,9,22,147,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155175933557156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05489110197646944,0.0,0.1234983097050024,0.0,0.0,0.05643999907882706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062067265907571986,0.0,0.0,0.08914684203335403,0.0,0.09094170064479007,0.0,0.14277726764569315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229752156312074,0.0,0.08538908746197761,0.0,0.0,0.0872276318417379,0.0,0.06444686532560684,0.0,0.0,0.0520565215486317,0.0,0.1390448284542539,0.0,0.0,0.08433327452748557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05331356906612198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632540641016383,0.057665054118804376,0.0,0.2652683250582322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655098170162409,0.06236263340872535,0.0,0.042171895735433965,0.07743219335909686,0.04587397813739634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592595915169805,0.0,0.0,0.08284009706351525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705183331343675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174599008182753,0.0,0.0,0.04436057783956277,0.06579605600839881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253976521724686,0.1710408245681978,0.11830441540569195,0.0,0.0,0.07143301233023909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372473493233463,0.0,0.0,0.053879984091623326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131503234294918,0.0,0.08562918893839802,0.0,0.0,0.06442844788285286,0.0,0.0,0.05985147676225545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541091928808563,0.05595979372514368,0.0,0.0,0.08860427663454983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073998175922792,0.0,0.05171010629120727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06419030335280122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348276153309101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446160950199559,0.06748397792494841,0.0,0.5063047435313415,0.0,0.08829254219943426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487818200447035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18743995979689915,0.2681277220216036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047067395551855684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05480231741752785,0.08779815565680686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971455506475636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175275320392324,0.0,0.0,0.1146796990417854,0.0,0.0,0.1039596692144
mentalhealth,throwaway879978,2019/03/21,"Work advice I (20m) work for a security company that provides security to the hospital for aggressive or agitated patient. I recently just started hating my job like extremely much. It is usually nice easy job 90-95% of the time but the other 5-10%is really mentally draining. Getting called names or getting hit off aggressive patients. Am so sick of it. I hate it so much I actually get sick a day before work as I dread it that much, the day of work I get sick and literally feel weak. My dilemma is that I can book off as much holidays (unpaid, unless I have holiday pay build up) myself and my partner are going to go on a holiday for 1 month, just before my holiday am going to quit , we have been looking forward to this for a long time now. We will be going in less then 2 months and by the time I find a new job I’ll be going on holiday so I’d have to quit that job. I dunno what to do. Is there any advice you could give or if you have been in the situation where your hating work so much your getting sick even thinking about it. Thanks again ",3.8170249221183776,4.738019238317758,5.854373831775702,78.5001277258567,71.57009345794394,9.444984423676011,29.21993769470405,9.725611199111238,2.72169507788162,823,32,166,20,15,288,119,214,0.208,0.67,0.122,-0.9784,4,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,4,0,7,12,12,5,1,11,0,18,5,0,0,0,19,38,16,0,2,8,0,1,1,1,1,5,0,0,1,12,5,0,2,3,6,1,6,0,7,0,0,2,2,21,5,25,31,6,29,0,0,1,0,10,9,0,5,17,113,33,11,0.0,0.0,0.09781102674666,0.0,0.0,0.1958892049043333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816053744516935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057844827331034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234708809598053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002632155450032,0.0,0.0,0.12928144484334853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620164999100933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506798203561567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160934555046926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618328813694649,0.09615073709354197,0.2848180207725898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29687217359080137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39785532535740215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896781837637521,0.0,0.0,0.08870130743310085,0.08416882134126212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100930361561698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000690371768672,0.0,0.3684066987746625,0.0,0.0,0.0968037533199853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132160760998066,0.0,0.0,0.06421056435825302,0.0,0.09896605012960834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266387719701572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094403889602574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227926592887617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422399685043463,0.0,0.0,0.17533655882883056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039031897400192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648469178042947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,easterninside32,2019/03/21,"Who has switched from Risperdal to Abilify? I've been on Risperdal, .75mg for 2 years now.  It helps with intrusive, obsessive thoughts, and helps keep me from talking to myself outloud.  It doesn't eliminate them but makes them more manageable.  I don't like the sexual side effects and have heard good things about Ability for my symptoms so I spoke with a doctor and am starting Abilify tonight.  For one's who have made the switch, how did you do it?  Did you taper off the risperdal or go cold turkey?  How did you like Abilify when compared to Risperdal?  I will be starting at 5 mg, I'd like to keep it at that dosage.",3.2962954545454544,5.5454190083333375,3.3162121212121214,90.71727272727274,75.58333333333334,7.363636363636362,29.24242424242424,8.296473431620573,2.0530833333333334,491,22,100,9,11,149,80,120,0.095,0.82,0.085,-0.2941,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,2,1,6,5,0,1,4,0,13,2,0,5,0,15,23,9,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,0,0,8,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,8,3,11,4,16,13,1,12,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,1,9,64,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543305668398952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412173310157795,0.20841385596683268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331028050949069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4417221981531562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36418541555162587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23511848458867615,0.16586282370808916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16837698043376365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3517518939707681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582666308619963,0.0,0.1997194068582097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650795628049744,0.0,0.0,0.19726595231731195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160013450062804
mentalhealth,NikkiP0P,2019/03/21,"I think I need help, but I’m not in a position to get counseling. A little background.

First panic attack in 4th grade. Told to suck it up (in not so many words) did so.

Retained various anxious traits and sought counseling in college. I managed alright most of the time, still having some classic and some odd traits to deal with - but coping.

Fast forward. I had my first child at 27, had PPD but didn’t know it until looking back. Had my second kid at 29 and she has a genetic disorder. I gave up my job and her care is complex - she is 16 months now. No family nearby and my husband can sort of care for her without me but that’s it - even nursing staff are generally unfamiliar when she is inpatient and so I wind up managing her care there too.

I feel lately as though I’m getting to a darker and darker place, and becoming less willing to do anything about it. I got a referral to a counselor last year and called but no one wants me to bring her with me and no one wants to work with me to coordinate times around my husbands schedule (which I already have to have him take off work for everything else I need like the dentist etc). 

Lately he has to go out of town and so I’m feeling more isolated and alone and the weight of the responsibility is adding to the struggles I already had. 

I’m open to advice. 

Thank you.",2.7620771123872,4.640320705660379,4.132157506152584,85.95854799015589,75.90566037735849,7.174733388022971,26.61607875307629,8.04050195162591,1.6468310090237908,1037,40,211,17,23,342,156,265,0.13699999999999998,0.767,0.096,-0.9141,1,1,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,4,14,10,2,2,11,1,19,2,0,0,0,43,45,26,0,4,8,2,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,6,19,1,1,5,0,0,3,7,4,0,5,9,4,29,6,38,35,7,35,0,0,1,0,19,17,1,4,18,150,35,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000304198910405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271883263397518,0.2710354263666043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387340212720366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105756061343653,0.1093219553186781,0.0,0.13970773780273324,0.0,0.0944290061647074,0.0,0.0,0.13562781561004464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539702651039544,0.0,0.3756218221016886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660594786845186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407444858892432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258732135582828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695937197872135,0.08111115043321432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036867955186784,0.0,0.1157690624753066,0.0,0.1241871927178482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20891472606720785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832046471352207,0.0,0.06979257263863757,0.0,0.09821790001684104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231320317944016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186442161978685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749008864866111,0.10010197948275587,0.27705743266355914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059996028546900136,0.1230822743594924,0.0,0.0,0.10312477000988064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450439041587605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802130339319852,0.0,0.0,0.1821158185561505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16643088426993158,0.0,0.0,0.14408450802888986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830446425825853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807175540993668,0.0,0.0,0.12838182641860987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233362836903186,0.0,0.0,0.1130617956144623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868810325219004,0.12065470310133924,0.0,0.14321647070265697,0.0,0.0,0.11734487038115846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486643808300295,0.0,0.0,0.14954267998048296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837906285995055,0.0,0.1788061369415276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908200966791662
mentalhealth,femmemarvel,2019/03/21,"I don’t feel romantic connections I don’t really know how or where to start with this so I’ll just go ahead. I’m a 20 year old woman and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. That In and of itself is not the problem, because I have no problem being alone. I’ve been burned a lot before, most of the time I’ve had intense emotions and not had those emotions reciprocated. Im not sure if that’s the cause of my problem or just a factor but I’ve come to get some opinions. I have trouble feeling emotions.... as far as I’ve seen it’s mostly just romantic feelings. I have no trouble being friendly with people but when it comes to “falling” for someone... I can’t relate. I have been in what I think was love once before until he stopped responding to me and never spoke to me again. I also don’t experience sexual attraction at all.. not sure if that’s important. I would consider myself a very empathetic person and a very caring person, but when it comes to “dating” I feel nothing. And the thing is that I’m trying... I’m trying to feel something with someone on an emotional level but it just never ‘clicks’ . I always try to rationalize that as the fact that they aren’t the right person, but I don’t know if I believe that anymore. I love helping other people through emotional struggles and always do my best to be there for others but it just feels like there is a disconnected wire in my brain. I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t know what to do or if there is anything I can do. I feel broken. I don’t know how to fix it.. ",1.856888185654008,3.886289224683544,3.97749367088608,85.30695780590722,79.22151898734177,6.491814345991561,23.824472573839664,7.554174236665415,1.1976606751054852,1209,42,243,18,30,414,147,316,0.08800000000000001,0.725,0.187,0.9864,1,1,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,16,16,0,1,14,0,31,3,1,3,7,69,59,31,0,8,22,0,7,1,1,1,0,1,0,4,22,14,0,1,13,0,0,6,18,7,0,0,8,10,27,9,32,47,6,31,0,0,2,2,13,11,0,12,15,178,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115420446081038,0.0,0.07038340820415387,0.14646657591994205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872845565682152,0.0,0.0,0.07242662756533845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053651483993776616,0.0,0.14978397763286472,0.0991597282794182,0.09236348376773383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825083936917292,0.0,0.0,0.08973441026953262,0.0904128809466376,0.0,0.2274444218562227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4950099828082796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609292215248379,0.0,0.0,0.3115116598171293,0.06287600800399333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799808822304489,0.0,0.045982796588411416,0.0,0.10003884191626426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899279256494034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506839197353656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418463044841368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04299836636258567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482491403547925,0.15886908229306493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20364154532104606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445017998488409,0.0,0.09235410843221484,0.09373023200609702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203330047744013,0.2305468487958622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526476675909683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638293602143778,0.0,0.0,0.09449227747301787,0.0,0.07516202725175829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914508018232756,0.06775617198624126,0.0,0.0,0.062295562204677725,0.0,0.0,0.07358222758984106,0.0,0.09200957030564122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590111103714794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847146440265024,0.056394731017399176,0.0,0.0,0.05132068259831121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926373266637846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523873740625695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625214160034534,0.0,0.0,0.056677038576519435
mentalhealth,McTurdy,2019/03/21,"How to support my fiance while and after having anxiety or panic attacks? Thank you for visiting my post.

We have been in a long distance relationship and many things have not gone his way. In short, yesterday he had a major anxiety/panic attack and was uncooperative, mean, unstable, and generally difficult to talk to. He has never seen anyone for it. I'm unwilling to diagnose him from my armchair, but I do at the very least think having attacks where his body convulses and his speech hindered is worth finding some or any form of help. 

I admit that I was and am not equipped to understand and help him when he is going through something like that. I kept repeating that he needed to calm down so we could talk because I didn't understand what he wanted, and at the very end I lost my temper. Today he has not stopped repeating that I made him realize that he is a freak and completely unworthy, among other things. He seems perfectly content in this state of mind as of now and any mention of looking for help has been pushed off. 

Obviously, I cannot make him do anything he does not see value in. I'm wondering what I can say or do in order to help his difficult situation. If this is useful, we are in Canada. Thank you all very much for reading.",6.04918395573997,6.633397431535273,6.882639004149379,74.33397233748272,66.38589211618256,10.410069156293224,33.07911479944675,10.355215969177356,3.475371562932228,995,41,182,24,15,331,141,241,0.13,0.713,0.157,0.8569,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,3,2,0,2,6,15,4,1,5,0,25,2,1,4,4,47,49,20,0,4,9,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,13,13,0,2,9,1,1,4,7,9,0,0,11,5,26,6,30,37,6,33,0,1,3,0,33,13,0,7,13,130,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085121254593054,0.0,0.09047392085486873,0.0,0.0,0.08269502670771903,0.0,0.09732365277444924,0.0,0.0,0.4036373116849957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209445717093063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136796046303276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400068507549375,0.0,0.0,0.09442656513665884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003850165548585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349623675130262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047494464141535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809388294646184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721385381248922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170874719856789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777927563955172,0.0,0.0,0.10466256128409394,0.0993144822412438,0.0,0.12910238631411106,0.0,0.0,0.11190708207048217,0.07894413175388848,0.11990416143211452,0.0,0.12882741930177855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941594209615615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693984294888746,0.08769347183082908,0.09121479080972096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387608264484128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326708091886742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182989910867103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697448316718307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940506544431857,0.0,0.0,0.09424347605104204,0.10766582258530742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293704786177665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910477041025539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988764962425422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420797459479272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19011704752562966,0.0,0.21776870274018173,0.0,0.0,0.15714266120159667,0.07578070944825406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121032744740875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462402074213129,0.0,0.10214470388181633,0.0,0.2927479490048221,0.06975693274742896,0.09387482889794026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825550177617814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Educational_Army,2019/03/21,"Do I have anxiety?  

Before I start, I just want to say that I understand that this is not a replacement for an actual therapist, and that you guys cannot be sure about any answer you give me because of the extremely limited viewpoint. But I wanted to ask here because I don't know where else to ask. I'm a high school senior. I thought my constant nervousness and panic attacks and stress was just from academics, but I'm a second semester senior, I've gotten into many colleges already, and I technically have nothing to ""stress"" about right now. But yet, I just feel worse and worse. Since my freshman year, I come back from school and make a mental list of every single stupid thing I did- what I said, that decision made, that grade in bio, etc, etc, and then I mentally beat my self up over it. All I think about is how I can't do anything right, even when I know I'm overthinking things or putting too much pressure on myself. I got into uc berkeley and the day I got in, I had said something silly in class. I spent more time being angry at myself than celebrating an acceptance. And that day, I realized how silly that was. How could something silly I said to someone take precedence over my first college acceptance?

The thing is, I'm not necessarily the quietest person. I like discussions and asking questions, and conversations, and I nervous-talk a lot (I'm not necessarily talkative, just average). I thought anxiety is mostly social (when I looked it up, I saw generalized and I don't understand the difference or anything). It's more retrospective- after I talk, i go back and I think about the stupid things I said (though it's not just speaking, it's just everything I do wrong). I don't think I'm depressed - I'm not perpetually sad, I love school and enjoy that, it's just I'm always angry with myself. So I feel like if I told anyone about anxiety, they wouldn't believe me because I ""talk"" to others.

Our school has a therapist but to talk to her, you need parental permission, and while my parents would (try to) be supportive, I don't think they would understand and I would really prefer not telling my parents about this because it would just stress me out more (plus, I graduate in 2 months anyway). I wanted to tell this teacher I had last year about it but I don't want to burden her and I don't even know what ""this"" is.",4.651893605660124,6.021275209251101,5.474132959551464,80.31951875584036,70.0352422907489,8.762942197303433,29.17607796021893,9.178173031916092,2.466698384728341,1851,70,352,37,33,604,208,454,0.123,0.78,0.096,-0.9192,3,0,2,0,0,0,69.0,1,3,2,3,32,24,3,6,14,0,33,1,0,5,2,89,83,36,0,13,22,3,2,2,0,5,0,6,0,3,27,24,0,1,21,0,1,3,15,13,0,2,18,10,65,11,40,56,10,42,0,2,2,1,35,17,0,6,24,250,92,12,0.0,0.0,0.06744568381568004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626945823298507,0.0,0.057508716831825915,0.0,0.0,0.04700016153741779,0.0,0.15861697880162967,0.0,0.0,0.04832639495949143,0.0,0.11375052334167557,0.0,0.19383790067839127,0.07862760684839615,0.0,0.10628941372291166,0.0,0.16852598519360873,0.0,0.05881126326282982,0.07786826037168845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059535935164062526,0.0,0.07468811227082929,0.0,0.05518222392733525,0.0,0.0,0.08914613967526429,0.0,0.05952813081703059,0.0,0.0,0.07220983698724724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057736212024172735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416164950507796,0.09129881776897718,0.0,0.05823186226467151,0.0,0.062115565541789965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989263385262501,0.04937534064828165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05878867271205442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630082955219621,0.039279305847163784,0.0,0.11055419763368574,0.0,0.0,0.06843412142779012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302315747271285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395039902349301,0.05633745998113472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753160876044942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058038688480642864,0.0,0.0,0.0587585907051468,0.062378443747587914,0.06539771570564759,0.046134398194908985,0.07007115292598491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930211716816612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055166454107576215,0.0,0.05080703586823936,0.05124745131341861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631713012533369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109085601426501,0.2302300837552629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034802757601177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947906079163782,0.07742394475587082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427645394777528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804663868403648,0.26297448297624443,0.05496254434845938,0.0,0.27978984761213394,0.0,0.0,0.0721013917291258,0.0,0.0,0.05717214528473615,0.0,0.0,0.07045342627434922,0.05856040621686734,0.10641528236435573,0.0,0.0,0.04891952753324972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23751093255221786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843020124904247,0.06513950337676759,0.0,0.0519654268580113,0.22220614450562545,0.12081806260508562,0.0,0.0,0.16049428908892874,0.1836661432386973,0.17714286534065282,0.06790454636991815,0.10973822573431752,0.04030116201768122,0.0,0.0,0.06604177033510898,0.0,0.04692414031608993,0.0,0.0,0.21585158127118695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630618535274148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086695492913662,0.19638754501000635,0.07556574584170878,0.0,0.08901481425073024
mentalhealth,Ramman321,2019/03/21,"Conflicted and confused Hey. I've kinda been thinking about posting something like this before, but I kinda thought the feelings would go away, but they haven't. They've just gotten worse.

So, no, I don't want pity or whatever. I'm just stating how I feel and why. My mom has stage 4? kidney disease and she's doing dialysis. She has been for almost two years now. That's fine. I'm glad she is. Now, my mom is manipulative and always has been. Long story short, she uses the fact that she's on dialysis to justify all the crappy stuff she says to her family, obviously myself included. She's super rude to my dad and threatens to leave us all the time. She claims she loves us, but it's really hard to even feel like she does. My dad has hearing issues and she almost always screams at him every time he can't hear her. My older sister doesn't drive even though she's well beyond the age to do so and so my mom's gotta drive her. Well, it's her choice actually. She drives her to and from work and then loses her shit about it. Every time. Calls us all lazy, losers, and tells me I suck at school every time she has the chance. There's a lot more, like how she only points out the bad in people, is racist, very unpleasant to be around, and just rotten to us. Also sexist. I'm a guy in the house, so I gotta do all the yard work and heavy stuff while the girls get to just hang out in the house. I just don't feel like getting into it.

I guess I've got anxiety or something but know I have OCD for sure. I get really anxious about a lot of things, especially regarding my girlfriend, and I ask questions sometimes, but then it turns into like, OCD blended with the anxiety and then I feel like I need to ask in certain way, at certain times, otherwise something is going to happen, and I don't know what. I'm not an abusive person, and I never will be (my ex girlfriend was very abusive towards me), and I don't want to seem abusive towards her because I ask questions about like, if she thinks anyone else is cute or something small like that. Her parents don't like me because she told them at one point that I ask questions sometimes, and now they think I'm manipulating her or something. 

I just don't have any motivation or drive to do anything. I'm swamped with homework that's all due tomorrow and I can't keep doing it. I can't focus no matter what. Everyone's acting like I'm fine and nothing's going on. My friends want to start a podcast and my girlfriend kind of just forgets about what I tell her by the next day, and my mom's not worth talking to and neither is the rest of my family because it'll just circulate back to my mom. She'll yell at me. She yells at me about everything. 

Be honest and just tell me if I'm being a little bitch and I need to grow up. I know, I sound like every young adult right now. I just need someone to tell me something. Anything, rather than just blowing it off like everyone else. I'm not happy.",2.416069511883464,4.186168671096347,3.684800664451828,89.26415729619221,76.57475083056478,6.358343981599796,23.537055967288524,7.1686216300943375,0.8131366215180167,2308,72,485,26,52,753,252,602,0.14800000000000002,0.7020000000000001,0.15,0.5995,1,0,6,0,0,0,72.0,4,0,3,6,38,38,4,1,20,0,41,3,2,6,11,111,94,49,0,10,27,10,6,12,4,6,0,7,2,4,20,32,0,2,17,1,1,10,18,11,2,2,8,14,83,27,58,76,10,68,0,3,0,1,75,29,3,19,37,309,103,5,0.0,0.19696950045644454,0.054076046974789606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097818478331538,0.0,0.0,0.04431453655466267,0.09221773423949488,0.0,0.0,0.037683403878977735,0.0,0.08478307986929605,0.06260201987359644,0.0,0.038746740430321565,0.05677816689169201,0.09120196127659838,0.04933018704951031,0.20721834874267414,0.0,0.052063254530925834,0.0426099270126072,0.04626835528324521,0.10133953623378793,0.0,0.04715321210974421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05658386510905492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03573743021032295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04849314379075604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258253269691748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320081699979998,0.0,0.186754658925811,0.1059008574870244,0.04980250847901629,0.0,0.10447872963497183,0.0,0.1400948562451836,0.11876326649409608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428127003663551,0.0,0.08685454593469863,0.0,0.09447911866086878,0.0,0.04431961873822307,0.0,0.06104474194678735,0.054868548373251017,0.04900239593392747,0.05898920782807441,0.04964003804599864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491115654395266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12788057646993112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578377938992615,0.0,0.04925448795161052,0.0,0.057705128629933135,0.09136221596077676,0.0,0.0,0.058675399395110676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.324869635031932,0.05553936168570831,0.0,0.04903962494843566,0.0,0.061994064753096566,0.0,0.09422196147725176,0.050013276809933165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245008945438918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326628307911355,0.04273867442357858,0.0,0.05893339209126925,0.0,0.0,0.05317120445677879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03754994423543944,0.042144825766941216,0.0,0.0,0.06153066250161305,0.0,0.0,0.03841707366036938,0.04838534639154517,0.0,0.0,0.1047682373241654,0.0,0.053071271131882064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862290054779737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099922391180112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732323269298599,0.0,0.04406741783749648,0.0,0.05608190208246327,0.0,0.050446802510562085,0.0,0.0,0.056881650002667934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695208200572605,0.2559623158553802,0.10961167831219544,0.0,0.03922229739862936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687148959312522,0.0,0.0,0.05222701654479525,0.0,0.0,0.04453965483251411,0.19373702983545935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03681458333418667,0.10652111483058642,0.054443950028538204,0.04399250711102888,0.1615616750482169,0.0,0.0,0.0529504287435122,0.0,0.0,0.060274493320667887,0.054131402547252495,0.0,0.2666247605477279,0.047859883299020266,0.0,0.09144466717601744,0.09805379624338646,0.043985034808747686,0.0,0.0,0.0996476386779626,0.0,0.050002494211268435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806840689522399,0.0,0.05647157565161055,0.039364498617314635,0.0,0.0,0.035684783699647074
mentalhealth,Bearded_Zakk_420,2019/03/21,"Daughter has ODD. NEED HELP Hello

I apologise if this is the wrong place or wrong format in advance.   My daughter, who is about to be 7, has opposition defiant disorder. I am afraid we will get kicked out of our apartment, that she will hurt her siblings, or any other multitude of things.  We are desperate for help.  She is in therapy, on meds, goes to counceling, even been admitted to a mental hospital twice.   I am desperate.   Any advice would be to great.  Or any boot camp programs or anything at this point.   

She is perfectly behaved for everyone except her mom and I.  It's is breaking our hearts to say the least.   

Thanks in advance.  

Cross post from /r/ADD",2.6362327188940142,5.373881862903229,3.6610599078341046,84.59016129032258,81.1774193548387,7.413824884792628,27.40552995391705,8.418075326091056,2.3789788018433184,517,23,95,12,14,166,89,124,0.166,0.7070000000000001,0.127,-0.5867,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,4,0,0,3,2,7,0,1,3,0,16,1,1,0,1,14,20,6,0,3,6,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,1,1,1,14,3,18,14,1,14,0,1,0,0,18,9,0,5,0,67,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787627449071252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732078479973603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505405748840632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966027369862605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208273694872892,0.0,0.0,0.17480299484417525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557640422994404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016873634771378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167798018206556,0.2452360189967629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19583655567870348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20320043201917054,0.0,0.1843562577560441,0.0,0.0,0.21425219603282744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564457648940845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911289733532502,0.0,0.17293345949586225,0.0,0.17520192667329218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454778893360301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842270490113725,0.20920302840141214,0.0,0.12153441574436324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995234244801274,0.4000231554586984,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scrublovelover,2019/03/21,I feel like I’m going to break down in Target I am on the brink of leaving my husband and I needed to get away but now I feel like I’m about to lose it in Target but I don’t want to go home and I don’t want to go back to my car because the privacy might make me break down. I just need to vent. I feel stuck. ,-1.7839189189189213,-0.2474716216216173,1.2526351351351366,102.55706081081085,89.54054054054055,4.2405405405405405,14.655405405405405,5.148860815047168,-1.2823189189189188,236,4,66,1,8,83,43,74,0.086,0.8009999999999999,0.113,-0.0387,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,14,19,4,0,4,3,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,1,3,11,2,15,17,0,15,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,1,4,40,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21632322437560386,0.17704457558067327,0.0,0.14035551838068766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492571253307996,0.3289748592278424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029376955367785,0.0,0.3925614671811215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309550073362456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437967373157028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22497264012467869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575858174900258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369065764875486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442540877423517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414482383364441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27160952008277034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dyonei,2019/03/21,"Is this normal or a symptom of something more? Some background: I've been suffering with major depressive disorder since I hit puberty. When the anxiety that coincided the depression got to be too much (i.e- it felt like my throat was literally closing every night) I sought treatment.

I meditate, have started exercising and take 50mg of Zoloft every evening (a relativelt small dose). 

Lately the mood swings have been coming back. I sometimes think I hear people talking upstairs or whispering, but I can never understand what they say. It doesnt happen often, maybe a few times a month and usually when I'm home alone and have heightened anxiety. My doctor said this is a normal part of major depressive disorder.

This leads to my actual question: lately, when I'm watching any form of media (YouTube, movies, TV, etc), or looking through Facebook, I get this random feeling like the image or character they are about to show is going to be me or looks like me. I don't actually see myself and every time I get this feeling I go ""uh no that isn't and couldn't be you silly"". But for the first 10 seconds of the story leading upto an image or me viewing an image, I get almost this anxious tick of thinking it is going to be me or that the person looks like me. It happened once every few weeks and now has become a daily occurence. Could this just be another stress induced symptom of my major depressive disorder? I'm obviously going to talk to my doctor about it, however it seems so bizarre that I really want to if anyone knows what's going on or can relate.
",6.226920606601253,7.12847066440678,7.025263157894738,72.34900981266729,66.08474576271186,9.735950044603033,33.492417484388945,9.811843763644266,3.462084745762712,1246,53,207,26,19,414,171,295,0.135,0.809,0.056,-0.9725,1,1,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,2,3,12,12,0,1,15,0,24,8,1,3,2,44,57,21,0,6,12,0,3,4,0,0,7,4,1,1,19,9,0,0,10,3,0,8,6,6,1,2,6,13,26,5,21,43,11,27,0,5,6,0,10,3,0,15,20,144,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.17490112226366916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973570624733257,0.09281331568136676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094074916590143,0.0939683333982302,0.13710928079694262,0.10123857182986272,0.0,0.06266035300695805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890781104573357,0.0,0.0,0.09897187601764178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719472385859885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154967040049663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087384187433101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308117012980159,0.1834479226567297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994355451322476,0.05918935351289285,0.0,0.30201541404571386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906232942362568,0.06402042356880766,0.08604371385329736,0.0,0.0,0.07622581796212298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045920890595293,0.0,0.254649159358426,0.0,0.07167268586798653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849113465058193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100174978107848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989037903813255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04924963700189716,0.0,0.2021775087359964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512394407257365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257601489603989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002953865607427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152922313821303,0.0,0.06587676993927709,0.0,0.06911601844926232,0.0,0.0,0.08409688389353903,0.1756058363118745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543622988679296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704347786965528,0.0,0.0621272233565552,0.0782476887497244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038844638961122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05740917021825201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852436538506863,0.07126483227068536,0.0,0.0,0.0714109386388271,0.08158142899964926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412981681562532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06898941214087012,0.08863076455526113,0.0,0.06342941298924668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265279729092644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18628699456723624,0.06737874806944866,0.1440570465343909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148423597933752,0.0,0.0,0.10450955593667936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329157348277266,0.0,0.0,0.09869741335813473,0.0,0.05285679447308924,0.0,0.07188312957943592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,esteban0311,2019/03/21,"Marriage: ""Us vs The Problem."" Not, ""Wife vs Husband."" It's a post I saw a few weeks ago but I really liked it because communication and understanding are so important in a marriage. Just something to think about the next time you are faced with a difficult situation. 

We're married to the ones we love, why not tackle the issue together as partners, mates, lovers, friends, companions....",5.071304347826086,7.53181953623189,5.8254347826086965,73.77989130434786,71.02898550724638,9.237681159420287,34.68840579710145,9.725611199111238,3.881857971014492,304,16,51,8,6,99,55,69,0.041,0.688,0.272,0.9661,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,2,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,8,0,2,3,1,0,0,12,6,4,0,1,6,2,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,5,4,6,5,1,6,0,0,1,2,13,1,0,0,5,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23420448293768045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105876674709876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412647358709374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757645466809061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907870096009436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384580682925043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28098824416995044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903420327571445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253038265099696,0.0,0.0,0.2528114088354159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692584336017005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296980902884873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20340025451810756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16929384152263616,0.0,0.0,0.15406183077549318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750498837712137,0.31780973680640384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21193175008015028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23840665799082514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cmmeuse,2019/03/21,"There is Hope! Meet Mark N. Meuse, a young musician who has spent much of his life dealing with the torment of such illnesses as severe anxiety and depression. Mark was able to find refuge from his anguish and pain, by expressing his deepest emotions, through his musical compositions. He has received words of praise from many individuals and musicians who have experienced joy and peace in the beauty of his music! Learn more about Mark’s music and journey on the following link: http://markmeuse.blogspot.com/
marknm0537@gmail.com
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mentalhealth,imstillturningout,2019/03/21,"I work at a mental health facility. I think I should see a therapist, but I'm concerned about what it means for my job. I don't work directly with people. I'm in a kind of office position, but my job includes giving advice and resources to those who know someone who is mentally ill. Some of this advice I research myself, although it always goes through the hands of professionals before the public sees it. I've been slacking *a lot* at my job lately, getting stuck in my own head. I started thinking about suicide 24/7. I snapped myself out of it, but it's happened before and I'd like to be proactive and prevent that, which is why I think I should see a therapist. I feel incredibly guilty that I'm having these thoughts when I'm supposed to be one of the people who has their shit together. I don't have depression or anxiety or ADHD or anything I could point to besides my own laziness and low self-esteem. Should I even work here? I want to be here to stop other people from feeling this way, so maybe I'm not the right person for this job. (That thought usually spirals into maybe I'm not the right person for any job > maybe I'm not a good person > maybe I don't deserve to be here > is there really even any point in being here? > and on)

​

Anyways, my boss knows pretty much every therapist. I'm worried it's going to get back to my boss that I spend a lot of time staring at a wall feeling sorry for myself or allowing my thoughts to slip every ten seconds. I know a therapist can't disclose anything confidential, but it could come indirectly like ""Oh, I think this person's not that great at their job"" or something like that. Is there any possibility of that happening? I know there's things like online counseling, and maybe I should check that out. But that almost doesn't feel real, like I'd be watching a therapist on television or something rather than face-to-face. ",4.7786178527355005,5.8818316417112335,5.574545454545459,80.71643356643358,69.4812834224599,8.213739201974496,30.1600164541341,8.502166056373571,2.2743055532702594,1510,59,285,23,26,493,176,374,0.11,0.79,0.1,-0.7834,6,0,2,0,0,1,53.0,0,0,2,3,16,11,1,0,15,0,25,5,3,3,0,61,62,20,1,8,16,0,5,5,0,4,2,0,0,4,29,11,0,2,16,0,2,2,9,3,0,3,5,10,33,8,39,45,6,28,0,2,5,0,11,18,1,11,12,186,62,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022068464082645,0.1304549088305032,0.0,0.0,0.06684061307285122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055541455330091055,0.0723237378742008,0.08110871401163991,0.13617713190357086,0.0,0.05106366668127589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985933887955887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513267296644465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359888835533866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05749932646071505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658909445807786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05749178908523641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817566254581251,0.0,0.11247972672453656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350034852066001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974837574038446,0.06403280695150869,0.037935637087626616,0.055986842033625486,0.0,0.07359225387914106,0.0,0.0,0.11805383887499753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850489070498653,0.07095226672207272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974352253554067,0.0,0.0,0.06950998851897502,0.14673650293670193,0.0,0.07529705397430597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305370898407676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349714689175396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33529738663068914,0.0727104599477627,0.0,0.0,0.13453686231095058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490690258553723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045231615536848895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388284063721697,0.23313455507442174,0.0,0.0,0.1262008966353538,0.07525074208702254,0.0,0.06790887922768797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597626130563212,0.04276184245784214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400849246054448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957363411965722,0.0,0.0696349431629892,0.0,0.06851804913185558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655716846400127,0.10277502224859207,0.0,0.07472130552539727,0.04724608551435282,0.0,0.0,0.0558060974812931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301380814172834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38751022798140017,0.04434582030483085,0.17108315198779267,0.0,0.15897644127019536,0.03892253754333566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351583771324514,0.0,0.039370956059667686,0.05298314616314392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06023160992907766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578466870339468,0.06778799705635198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110871401163991,0.0
mentalhealth,vladmirrushmore,2019/03/21,"I've been having feelings of guilt So the past few weeks I've been feeling like I disappointed everyone that I met in life, like my mother and wanted me to go to college but I didn't. I have this guilt that I cant get rid of like I'm a failure to everyone and I cant do anything good. I did something to my ex that I cant get rid of and all of those feelings together have been really terrible on my health. I haven't talked to my therapist yet since it's a once a month now but I dont know if my medication could be a part of it, I take (adderall Xr 25mg). I dont know what to do or how to do it ",1.2723913043478277,1.7825163840579743,4.07171014492754,90.44973913043479,77.18840579710145,7.838840579710146,24.669565217391305,8.238735603445708,1.1440991304347836,463,15,119,8,10,167,75,138,0.146,0.7909999999999999,0.063,-0.9081,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,2,5,0,19,3,0,1,1,16,31,9,0,3,4,2,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,6,3,18,4,14,23,3,8,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,2,8,79,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904535941389296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446086427893256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42453982447107663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461335950555495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747373575150357,0.12939132369530484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892542197465406,0.0,0.10293400127810816,0.1519138760246664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19252083987899174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19907633745471084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792958135568985,0.26545652548603005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824581600062993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456731694070832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19288563594505967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19613403594643816,0.1728984110496703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602935614452772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982336242676106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943411899288646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617881475383056,0.14557644966756128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102929138117868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068285747252682,0.0,0.14528259529004492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,minnamie,2019/03/21,"Do I have an eating disorder? I was always skinny, but lately I've been having thoughts of wanting to lose weight even though I like how I look (kind of). I am not obsessed so much about being fat physically, but more about the number on the scale. I want to have a certain weight numerically but I don't want to change how I look now except maybe my face ( my cheeks are little chubby). I do feel like I'm not good enough and I know I'm not fat but I am not what I have imagined myself to be. I have this ideal self that I have imagined in my mind and to become that I just have to get to that certain number on the scale. I just crave to be perfect and to be that I have to be different from anyone else and to do that I have to be very skinny, but not skin and bones skinny. I eat once a day not including sweets and snacks. I am not counting calories or watching what I eat. Most of my meals are actually sweets or junk food and I am always proud about how I can eat all of that and not gain weight. Actually I would binge eat one day and then not eat almost anything in two or three days. There are days that I feel really confident and good about myself and on the other I feel really disgusting and like I'm not good enough and I just want to die. I tried talking to with some close people about how I feel but nobody is taking me seriously.",3.544988801791714,4.119639549645393,4.760123180291156,87.37026315789477,71.94326241134752,7.638969764837626,22.998133631952214,7.669130373188453,0.7744368794326237,1051,23,234,12,19,348,128,282,0.125,0.728,0.147,0.5563,1,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,5,17,18,1,1,7,0,31,21,9,4,4,64,48,29,1,6,23,0,8,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,11,15,17,0,8,0,0,0,11,4,0,3,3,13,36,14,31,38,7,14,0,1,3,0,2,7,0,6,10,171,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.178452316541387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155770099732677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216042242240718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393260949198296,0.09368469015051688,0.07524219212304108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098140205852674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672479221622347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23586883897935254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489380521239234,0.09552881636329713,0.10479100804783384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5613573650081238,0.07638117223479754,0.0,0.0,0.18895102747105105,0.0,0.06039113478665695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18492662116475184,0.06532029494122736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056206303644907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777036473414047,0.0,0.0,0.23007089434288705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521418868811783,0.05024960216413985,0.0,0.10314126152979948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340097468950317,0.09164064596534943,0.0,0.0,0.15356265697741747,0.1022909872846699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185749938247288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232203068432124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721433258847621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737396813040483,0.061957880703983725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338865517139339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714961326230375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538535049242994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874680689884427,0.07349099118248603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983320294090301,0.07258819055400349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207751977134364,0.0,0.08931749566212747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07544242601777168,0.2157199975985306,0.0,0.0,0.3340250543171107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495191827746719,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daemonspantheon,2019/03/21,"After being betrayed, detained, arrested, and forcefully hospitalized by my high school counselor, I have a crippling fear and violent distrust of mental health professionals. How can I get help if I can't go to the people who. can help? As title says, I sought help from my highschool counselor in freshman year (about 2008). He decided that I was a ""threat"" to myself and others. He proceeded to lock me in the counselling room, call campus security and police. They handcuffed me and walked me out through the cafeteria during lunch time. At no point were my parents contacted. I was taken to the hospital, detained, and kept.

Since that event I refuse to speak to mental health professionals, and I won't even go to the hospital or doctor when I'm I'll.

But I have quite an impressive list of trauma (rape, abuse, addiction, depression, chronic pain, etc.) I am finally in a relationship that I'm happy with, and a few days ago my exceptionally well hidden damage surfaced for the first time. He's heard all the stories, so he understands why I may not be comfortable seeking help. But I know it would be good for me, and mean a lot to him if I did.

So what can I do to even get that far? How can I heal myself enough alone to even speak to a professional? At this point calling a hotline would be a stretch. What do I do?",5.4866557300210905,6.581431581673311,6.1052870869463325,77.58826576048747,67.84462151394422,9.411858448558707,31.49777361143661,9.627879704456738,2.9455711741270214,1041,42,193,22,17,339,151,251,0.184,0.721,0.095,-0.9754,1,1,0,0,1,1,41.0,0,0,1,2,10,15,4,1,16,0,23,10,0,2,1,31,35,20,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,4,7,4,1,0,10,11,2,3,4,0,0,3,4,9,1,1,7,4,28,6,29,20,5,27,0,2,0,1,21,13,0,5,11,137,38,8,0.0,0.15155675314904798,0.0,0.13944475419779018,0.0,0.0,0.11338772873757567,0.0,0.0,0.13247995984852348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612282670163461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249371922073179,0.0,0.11017183530870718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092503618388512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216898912221411,0.14265752701353934,0.2534572691197051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393841313219927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401231461144552,0.0,0.10880328139241632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365920051169106,0.0,0.14539254485027464,0.10728789690017047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616645402267688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719324469967141,0.0,0.0,0.34295128070436304,0.13514778926174284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029799425510204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874760704374628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933545895934474,0.0,0.0,0.25781373781040523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610913723798984,0.0,0.1420329656049941,0.0,0.0,0.08867921585769901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24183948040489475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605190703458148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733138476352907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172206486237588,0.0,0.12945543808068594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581148925901428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917495051906554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316261592930626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500972898345525,0.0,0.11542216923614018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181732367273774,0.0,0.0,0.08237219379363511
mentalhealth,getrichordie,2019/03/21,"I feel like suicide is the only option. I’m a fucked up person. Some people say I’m a super hero. Some people say I’m bi-polar. Some people say that I’m not crazy. They are all wrong. I’m a fucked up person who has made a lot of mistakes. I’ve made some really bad choices in my life. I guess I didn’t know any better, but does it matter? History will show that I was a fucked up individual. I don’t know how to make a woman happy and I certainly don’t know how to make myself happy. I’ve got two options. Runaway to whoever will take me or kill myself. I’m just not sure there anymore good people left in this world. Everyone is out for themselves. This world is so selfish. It has been consumed by greed, lust, and vanity. The world may never wake up. I don’t want this to be my final goodbye, but there is no one to say hello to anymore. It’s time to meet my maker.",0.015345622119816937,2.102029290322584,2.709447004608297,91.41274193548388,86.74193548387095,5.048233486943165,17.459293394777266,6.42735559955562,-0.13451582181259614,672,16,147,7,21,234,107,186,0.209,0.648,0.142,-0.9517,0,0,0,0,0,2,25.0,0,0,1,3,6,18,5,0,8,0,17,6,1,7,4,36,38,8,2,2,6,0,1,1,0,3,1,4,0,3,9,3,0,0,4,1,1,0,8,9,0,2,6,5,14,9,17,28,6,14,0,0,0,4,11,11,3,10,4,88,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458381817562331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467064391709794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385352032241407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000550190568772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884725993263787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188520403184987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289112250071051,0.08885830812366118,0.0,0.1362540676999347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.344966619712039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432546494266444,0.09947940438199346,0.0,0.1370204605185729,0.0,0.0,0.2648132554733139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376099173984186,0.0,0.2050707809667752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514107610553566,0.0,0.08785446994115077,0.060766613663164534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574486958950699,0.0,0.23538593542678746,0.16605149518277065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593083146418777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428425589990422,0.0945978842878082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449224261973821,0.21721059778414212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968209911786057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956532663351468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136053386919831,0.0,0.11722827601953002,0.0,0.09351955552913123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252796690190201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150284314423468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733635466293162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359918582724858,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Guacosa,2019/03/21,Fixing loose some loose screws. Can someone give me advice? Ok so I might be on the path to full blown bipolar. Usually I spend 3 hours a day alone just thinking to myself that I have mania and that the actions in the past I've done with mania will define the rest of my life. I also think my conscious thoughts are not strong enough and whenever I think something wrong about a situation I beat myself up internally. Somebody please give me advice,4.3743687707641215,6.335888430232557,4.568870431893688,84.1882558139535,71.67441860465118,6.774750830564784,26.239202657807308,7.447530270364453,1.3794039867109642,359,12,66,4,7,112,65,86,0.166,0.782,0.052000000000000005,-0.8361,0,1,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,1,0,6,1,7,3,0,0,0,12,13,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,12,2,8,8,4,9,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,2,4,45,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38505320414110217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20405429635238875,0.0,0.15755759068860273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270622201903208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016208464988468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20357531890692604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780009155326157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194025958944804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391617307898388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20900810380587745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807879989529072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21626985001342616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22145981411715315,0.0,0.0,0.16693522021855667,0.1516763607336185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3787292278114842,0.0,0.15641263494237384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169907527464647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21541149110799235,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,totteridgewhetstone,2019/03/21,"What did you think therapy was before you attended? Hi everyone - I've posted this elsewhere so if it's not allowed, please delete with my apologies. I'm a therapist and I'm writing an article about people's perceptions of what therapy is/was before they actually had any. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.",2.7300000000000004,5.733579666666667,4.641666666666668,75.14250000000001,85.66666666666666,9.0,30.83333333333333,9.188382445141503,3.9643333333333333,260,14,43,9,8,88,49,60,0.035,0.89,0.075,0.5003,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,10,9,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,5,1,4,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,1,0,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.2269509267641479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815289601232838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3957931759768588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22222683698572665,0.0,0.227494232870362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621188523085632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098999493771772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16123202339202214,0.0,0.0,0.25528769589720746,0.0,0.0,0.22273399854000445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5319191164993945,0.2700271209987894,0.0,0.14901894081386466,0.0,0.18463147397184934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chefidiot,2019/03/21,"PTSD and the Fear of Bathtubs I feel pretty silly making a reddit post about something like this, but I can't afford professional counseling and quite frankly, I don't really think I could look at another human face to face while talking about this. This is really long, so I'm sorry in advanced.

​

To start at the beginning, I started dating my first serious boyfriend in 2010. I was fifteen, stupid, and head over heels in love with this person. Everything seemed normal at first, straight out of a fairy tale, but then things started getting weird, one tiny event after another. It began with my boyfriend swerving on the highway because he ""saw someone in the street staring at him"". I brushed it off. A few nights later, he had his first night terror around me. He was dead asleep, punching and hitting me, screaming about the ""monsters"" coming for him. It ended with him throwing me off the top bunk of his bed and leaving bad bruises around my wrists. I blew it off again because I was young, stupid, and not willing to end my relationship just because he had a bad nightmare.

A few months later, I ended up moving in with him and things got so much worse. The night terrors were constant. I almost never slept because I was constantly on edge, worried if that would be the night he murdered me while sleepwalking. During the day, he began having hallucinations more and more frequently. He started getting paranoid and insisting someone was watching us. He was cutting and burning himself consistently. I was young and stupid and didn't know what to do, so I stuck around and just watched his mental illness progress. 

​

One day I was at work, and he had the day off. About half way through my work day, he called me and told me that I needed to come home right away. I almost got fired, but I left and ran the two blocks back to our apartment. The front door was locked and I could hear things inside being thrown around, glass shattering, him screaming bloody murder. I was terrified. He refused to open the door, but I eventually broke through it and got inside. My apartment was TRASHED. Every single thing either one of us owned was destroyed. Our furniture was flipped, windows were broken, clothes were ripped up all over the floor. I found him in the bathroom with my largest kitchen knife being dug into his wrist. I tackled him and took it away from him, calmed him down, and then went back to work and had my mom pick me up that night so I could stay at her house while I figured out what to do. 

​

After a few days, I decided I was leaving him and I was going to stay at my mom's permanently. A few weeks went by, life was returning to normal. I got a new job and was just going through the motions of dealing with my first broken heart. And then one night, I got a phone call from a number I didn't know. When I answered, it was my ex. He just said ""I'm sorry"" and hung the phone up. I knew immediately what that meant. My mom's house was a 50 minute drive away from where he lived, and I didn't have a car, so I ran down the street and begged someone I hadn't seen in years to drive me to help him. Thankfully, the person who drove me knew how to drive fast, so I made it there in just over 30 minutes. The car barely stopped before I jumped out, fucked my ankle up because of it but I didn't care. 

I ran inside and there were candles lit on the ground leading down the hall. Almost like trail markers. I followed them to where the bathroom was and right there in front of the open bathroom door, I saw my ex sitting in a bathtub full of his own blood, with slits from his knees up to his hips, and covering his wrists up to his elbows. Just hundreds of slashes to his body, bleeding profusely. The water was still running from the faucet and it was over flowing bloody water all over the floor. I was so panicked I didn't even think to call 911. I just jumped right in the tub and held on to him, trying to get him out of the water. 

​

Right when I gained some slight mental capacity and realized my stupid ass needed to call an ambulance, the police barged through the door, followed by his mother. Apparently he had called her and said the same thing he had said to me, and she called the police. The police came in, dragged me out of the bathroom while I was covered in blood and absolutely hysterical, and questioned me. They took him out on a stretcher. While they were loading him up, his mother came to me with evil in her eyes and told me that it was entirely my fault and if he died, it would be on me. That conversation has never left me. None of this has. 

​

It's been almost 8 years since that day and I am happy to say that my ex lives across the country now and I have since gotten engaged and moved on with my life. But, I haven't told anyone how fucked up from all of this I still am. I still can't take bths. My fiance ran me a nice bath with a pretty bath bomb and lit some candles for me a few months ago as a sweet gesture. I pretended to love it, but sat on the floor of the bathroom crying for an hour just looking at the bathtub. I could not convince myself to get in. The fear of bathtubs has also expanded into a general fear of water. I can't see a river, ocean, lake, or pond without experiencing some form of mild panic. I am terrified of the color red, also. If I see someone walking down the street in a red shirt, I am immediately afraid of them. I refuse to ride in a red car or bus. I can barely wear red lipstick anymore without feeling some sort of anxiety. Every single aspect of that night has fucked me up in some way and despite all of my efforts to try and work through it, it just seems to be getting worse and worse as the time passes. 

​

Does anyone have any idea how I can slowly start re-training my brain to not fear bathtubs, water, or the color red? I am willing to try just about anything. I just want to continue my life normally and not have nightmares about that night forever.",4.845393894107602,5.842881194705383,4.931605358667807,85.77640035226301,69.24765157984629,7.392147736976942,28.81341801878736,7.413659706084162,1.5436282578992313,4713,166,935,45,80,1470,440,1171,0.182,0.765,0.053,-0.9995,5,0,1,0,0,0,159.0,4,0,4,15,48,41,12,8,68,0,80,37,21,7,6,166,162,84,4,15,31,8,3,2,0,4,5,7,10,3,41,75,6,5,18,3,0,38,20,28,0,10,80,33,145,13,166,68,26,213,0,1,20,6,94,96,4,19,75,648,186,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034120455646134515,0.0,0.1541749948639274,0.0,0.0,0.06156339157152625,0.0,0.2502336095378506,0.2806288345799934,0.0261755885214756,0.08072353762454845,0.029445946806840005,0.0,0.038173295889349465,0.05382840346958767,0.0,0.03167528361284213,0.1370626371271888,0.0,0.0,0.1084922953404389,0.05919528501162408,0.06427770874144942,0.11732052346491118,0.0,0.03275349226981794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04275545858261938,0.0,0.042969323670507764,0.23582518842607494,0.0880482069452525,0.039244722426905625,0.0,0.0,0.06631416106325874,0.0,0.08319142872266856,0.0,0.12292955087585515,0.0,0.04228118381812018,0.1489432755604467,0.03968312001064387,0.0,0.0,0.03994817413465384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033684233570197675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227632221571116,0.0,0.0,0.02542331992322369,0.0,0.06486161815702672,0.0,0.034593742472698134,0.0,0.0,0.17325487672193396,0.038924990139703686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309636440640184,0.0,0.04220402134641455,0.0,0.10675451269506543,0.10055128702048073,0.0,0.04375129419272364,0.0,0.15392612982177833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040974993561472564,0.0,0.0,0.03950345713123436,0.0,0.04338279851173605,0.04561269750360106,0.02580008897863306,0.0,0.03861018458004427,0.0,0.03790644434633357,0.08882821096300647,0.0,0.04345229896226256,0.0,0.0,0.03819694532195631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04230792205997426,0.0,0.0,0.0815140328528793,0.08364241002086573,0.0,0.08156320574854316,0.03761007505685944,0.0,0.06797752558569516,0.034063829478361944,0.06464645134404272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069480292098442,0.03642165559777185,0.025693422838014148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758090142437897,0.0,0.0,0.13524258983149076,0.0614472102083808,0.08182089776127383,0.02829573391623604,0.057082025017571834,0.059374145672068425,0.03717539956718671,0.0,0.2889738585579826,0.11314070247370335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433153994982268,0.0,0.0,0.04516156562980704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721871101037638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03686428540057608,0.07831953227847052,0.0,0.0,0.04499458720951557,0.0,0.04311936923931,0.040940524263337545,0.0,0.0,0.049317372613894364,0.0,0.0,0.04132554267394361,0.0,0.1314863668320237,0.10984289680399066,0.030610042559391357,0.0,0.0,0.06134559785780184,0.07008256202021401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368125133663079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13045513433504652,0.02963269223392386,0.0,0.0861763257845045,0.13622266195360955,0.08205378740849165,0.0922182560561233,0.03218067727467052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02894087139881928,0.03093806710053678,0.0,0.03543786748983849,0.0,0.0,0.12786044859960574,0.04932768953337132,0.0,0.0,0.022444744856298254,0.0,0.0,0.11034103813528602,0.0855311043496889,0.07839975109405352,0.0,0.03760067226723349,0.0,0.09260124223581166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022703326126255446,0.06110563557125207,0.030875616845223174,0.0,0.0,0.0713641447382611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420900261494824,0.0,0.11208928980592336,0.039090059237667216,0.11767859921809465,0.054686615968672685,0.0,0.2806288345799934,0.04957462004226782
mentalhealth,maparo,2019/03/21,"Would any of you like to share your story? It would be an honor for us to share it on our platform! Hello! 

Happy Thursday, I hope you're all doing well! I wanted to reach out to see if any of you would want to share your story on our platform. We started a company, PEAR (Positive Engagement And Response), with hopes of making the world a more open, safe, connected & positive place to live.

We have cards that we created that are used to open up communication in a fun, non-intimidating way in hopes of bringing people closer together, and letting kids & others open up and have meaningful conversations. 10% of those profits are donated to Mental Health America, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, as we want to help out the mental health organizations as much as possible. It's very near and dear to our heart.

The other part of our company so far (which is why I'm here) is centered around our blog (and hopefully a podcast soon) where we want people to open up and share their stories with the world. Things that they have overcome, or problems they've gone through and came out stronger/grew through the experiences. I wanted to reach out to any of you on here that feel strong enough or want to have their voice heard. I know that writing out your feelings is one of the best ways to come to grips with issues, or grow and become stronger by ""letting it out"". Most subjects are open, and If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out!

There are so many amazing people out there who've been through hell and back or people who can help others by sharing a little of their life, so if that's you, PLEASE contact us. Together we can hopefully help end stigmas, and create a closer connection and ability for people to open up and share personal stories and thoughts with one another. You can DM me, leave a comment here, or reach out to us at contact@pearcards.com!

Thank you very much, and have a great rest of your weekend!

(In case you wanted to see the website/blog it is www.pearcards.com)",7.076344438170526,7.569916275324676,6.7226764539807995,76.67854884246191,64.16883116883116,10.020327498588367,33.88198757763975,9.867487886160001,3.21596442687747,1646,66,299,32,23,515,187,385,0.03,0.713,0.258,0.9979,0,0,0,0,0,1,62.0,14,12,4,3,13,27,1,0,16,0,26,5,2,2,1,81,54,30,1,19,8,0,3,1,0,3,3,2,0,2,18,44,0,2,6,2,2,5,1,2,1,2,5,7,35,25,67,43,9,52,1,0,2,0,49,39,1,15,7,209,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591626361519428,0.0,0.2168768467699551,0.08360397649590733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097670537027995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130753634458346,0.0,0.0,0.08805564701534463,0.0,0.0,0.0836718358562091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900517573703795,0.0,0.09119001025692287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868043356405751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706172159961586,0.08238252113262595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799135066016742,0.0,0.0,0.08062788268470453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790273233598406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487418910123536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694987660126412,0.0,0.09448056916787843,0.16032424465297496,0.0,0.0,0.3959499668919755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321752465148233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04381758562098885,0.0,0.0,0.08442267877821913,0.0,0.16305888722294784,0.05631573753244728,0.03895210645608243,0.07991052024318374,0.07040315152873218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053220470317829664,0.08083382162433862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069840470526245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11722161554763395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805437757591813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633994399488379,0.0,0.2763741110127665,0.0696172603526694,0.0833009996098572,0.1750394456925963,0.0,0.08988372404822613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629095146622013,0.0,0.0,0.08931597495562033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706915658937554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05643338517273366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721180417240061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340477704199495,0.0,0.0,0.05296914507982033,0.0,0.0,0.06329680470470543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28771653128171204,0.06886121945090543,0.0,0.131571388393913,0.32918820948273514,0.1265721069814181,0.0,0.0,0.07168694783370046,0.0,0.07194402680554114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991395659654213,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skeniak,2019/03/21,"Text wall I’m not able to show any emotion besides happiness in front of my parents.

My mom already goes through enough so I don’t want her to have to deal with seeing me fucked mentally. She’ll also make a big deal out of it repeating “I KNEW you had emotions” “that’s how I know you’re not like Adam Lanza” “that’s how I know you’re not a serial killer” etc etc. 

My therapist diagnosed me with psychosis, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, and schizophrenia and she told my mom about this. I had to then laugh it off and say “I’m not depressed” or “I don’t have ptsd” in front of my therapist just so that my mom wouldn’t look at me differently. 

This prevented me from getting help with my mental state because now I can’t actually tell my therapist anything, I have to consistently lie to her. It doesn’t help that when I was in middle school the school put my in therapy with someone that works there. I wasn’t able to talk about anything, I was only allowed to fill out papers asking “IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG ARE YOU ABUSED ARE YOU RETARDED” and she shared them all with my mom. Everything I thought was going to stay private was released to the one person I didn’t want to know about it.

I can’t show emotion in front of my father either. He’ll start screaming at my mom telling her that she abuses me, and then he’ll start screaming at me calling me a “lying brat” “worthless piece of shit” “faggot” “little girl” “spoiled brat” the list goes on. Then he’ll start saying that I must hate him to try to make me feel bad for him. 

I just want to move out of this damn house, but I can’t. I’m 13 so I can’t even legally get a part time job. 

Other people have it worse than me so I don’t even know why I’m complaining, sorry. ",3.336247814685315,4.480816213068184,4.238863636363639,88.78550699300699,72.94886363636364,7.460839160839161,26.038461538461537,7.882392219407189,1.2960455419580414,1345,44,291,18,26,434,173,352,0.133,0.8059999999999999,0.062,-0.9724,4,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,3,1,1,18,16,4,0,7,0,26,3,1,5,2,41,57,18,0,5,9,7,1,1,0,6,1,4,0,2,16,13,0,1,7,2,0,7,15,12,0,1,11,7,53,4,45,40,7,36,0,3,2,1,39,17,3,1,11,183,69,6,0.15715411459053638,0.18620192775879532,0.07667987304339699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671173666763715,0.0628380443299171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343509348289063,0.0,0.06011123375601645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939866688644612,0.0,0.0734589414480423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560856067567304,0.047899844801317856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023596094015177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620189915288281,0.13535660861664908,0.07975405912063525,0.0,0.08209630059943493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651658398232189,0.0,0.0811911051574349,0.17526837958253194,0.10379881053129507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061999241908397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03973092114488986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264322329564288,0.08210653857667627,0.0,0.044657152469896884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364673862525628,0.0,0.07757857622065875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533709034347516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066737416107967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797560472671031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273558288760346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038388781113994304,0.07875485434349264,0.0,0.0,0.06598493799044729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490159181088217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583743844650304,0.0,0.0,0.4601424990938179,0.0,0.08351497650455184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053245847613500326,0.0597613928908625,0.0,0.0,0.08725052315860693,0.08509129577244104,0.0,0.054475437754340696,0.06861045557183881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370475007978931,0.07899164571059858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497525962668447,0.0,0.1590483540233753,0.06261574125842548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065822013093793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657808565409186,0.0,0.0,0.08796058244361962,0.16685173676245554,0.08375268806660653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631572622079074,0.13735962300012075,0.0,0.08985971307558632,0.2737020595379049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062381406349970324,0.04581891400882685,0.0,0.0,0.07508374559144171,0.0,0.05334866396998132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904035276230994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090357232955219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057205033559190877,0.0,0.08007673440968886,0.0,0.08591167691926839,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UndercoverGayNerd,2019/03/21,"It has been 7 years Today marks 7 years since I attempted to end my own live. It has been tough since, I’ve doubted myself, I fell into old habits that get me down.
But all in all I know whom I can trust and to whom I can talk on bad days.
Everyday I am glad I „did it wrong“ and have had the opportunity to meet my new „family“ far away from home.
Take care y‘all! ☺️",-0.706666666666667,1.164540555555554,1.7595061728395045,98.4777777777778,87.88888888888891,5.575308641975309,13.938271604938276,6.937597516519254,-0.7211876543209876,279,4,73,4,9,95,60,81,0.12,0.731,0.149,0.5255,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,0,8,0,1,1,0,9,0,0,0,2,8,13,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,3,0,12,4,9,10,3,15,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,8,43,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291927692815259,0.0,0.2036824738101887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24871646187822974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573232536211087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160613658969312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22996804168121215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745031076020902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24469502922589975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406486316440994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21540641142768852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356019683023961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559774675086691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4035848527129956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341500953137813,0.19607239166816787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312297337460412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667137139404829,0.0,0.3141829864852641
mentalhealth,AArgot,2019/03/21,"Link to an article discussing incarceration, mental illness, and bullying. [Kicking Alleged Criminals While They're Down](https://medium.com/@erichiatt/kicking-alleged-criminals-while-theyre-down-89afd79bdbb1)",21.79521739130435,28.40955134782609,13.521086956521742,18.605978260869588,35.52173913043478,16.773913043478263,68.02173913043478,13.816669648895859,12.988234782608695,183,13,9,7,2,48,19,23,0.442,0.5579999999999999,0.0,-0.8834,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,melmelmelons,2019/03/21,"What are my ‘episodes’? (18f) Hi everyone.
I’ve been having these ‘episodes’ or even ‘attacks’ happening since Summer 2017. No matter where I am, what I’m doing (even if sleeping) or what mood I’m in, these things just happen. So here is what happens. It’s a very sudden feeling that, if I’m asleep, makes my eyes open instantly and it makes me feel like something is wrong, it feels like something sinks inside me, almost what I imagine would feel like if someone would tell me that my loved one is gone. It feels like all of the happiness of the world is gone and I get this overwhelming feeling of dread that I just want to escape. It continues and gives me uncomfortable tingles all over my body, usually in head to toe direction. That’s also when my heartbeat speeds up incredibly rapidly and I start to feel very hot but it’s like this heat is generated from the inside of my body. Whilst all of this is happening, I see weird flashbacks and even things that I’ve never seen happen in my head; weird random images that are completely unrelated. These images feel like a dream and they flash through my mind very quickly. Whenever I get one of these ‘episodes’ I become extremely disoriented but I can still manage to get myself together enough for other people not to realise what’s happening inside my head and body. When going through an ‘episode’ I keep thinking about how I just want it to end because it’s the worst feeling/emotion I’ve ever felt in my life. After it happens, I feel extremely tired and struggle to keep on going with my day as I find it hard to focus. And ‘episode’ lasts about 3-4 mins, although it feels much shorter and I don’t know why that is. I hate having people around me when these things happen and I just want to get away. If I’m listening to any music or watching anything, I have to turn it of because I just can’t stand it.
At first, I did think what I’m experiencing are panic attacks, however after consulting a doctor who said he doubts that these are panic attacks I am not so sure anymore. The doctor suspected that I might be experiencing focal seizures and booked me up for a EEG and MRI of the head. The results were perfect with no abnormalities. 
I get these ‘episodes’ monthly, however over the last 1.5 years there were two 2 month breaks between the ‘episodes’.
These ‘episodes’ have been stopping me from living my life normally and even attending college. 
I think it’s also worth noting that I am mentally healthy and stable.
Please if anyone is experiencing anything similar or if you know anyone experiencing anything similar, your advice would be much appreciated. Also, if you need more detail in order to better understand what my ‘episodes’ are, I’m more than happy to answer any questions. 
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mentalhealth,RandomAndFandom,2019/03/21,"Is there a way to stop being so emotional? I'm not sure which sub this should be in, there are a lot of relevant ones. 
At school, mainly, whenever I get upset or frustrated I start to cry. It's not loud, but rather an embarrassing quiet cry. Whenever this happens I'm not sad or angry, it just happens. Other people who don't know about it ask me What's Wrong or if I'm okay and it makes me feel worse. It could just be stress or anxiety but sometimes it's because of the smallest things.  Is there a way to fix this or at least make it happen less?",0.8910579710144937,2.9950992000000056,2.82054347826087,91.90965579710146,83.08695652173913,6.268115942028986,20.018115942028984,7.492282038375204,0.5572463768115945,428,12,95,7,12,143,76,115,0.24,0.6779999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9607,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,8,8,1,3,5,1,9,0,0,2,1,24,22,10,0,4,14,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,15,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,0,3,4,2,9,17,4,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,7,2,66,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13858366732938449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935618964874938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043087526731354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463814065211894,0.0,0.3979822113365918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20377585706265647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159779985521144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464641229842093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4805863443686601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995584729303905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401215648942615,0.0,0.0,0.24184576481741446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275583732469765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559060048596213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18333930952677802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916768753919682,0.0,0.12822298559961393,0.0,0.0,0.15145433438164307,0.20751332116262855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073716825593446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035184325740605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875860344212097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846132050341602,0.0,0.1980653949345666,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YeOldeSecondaryAcct,2019/03/21,"Isolation is a killer. I'm sitting here trying to recover mentally and emotionally from a suicidal crisis this morning (3rd or 4th this week, no attempts luckily - I end up wrecked emotionally before it gets unsafe) and I want to state something that is probably obvious for those who don't know:

​

Isolation is not just a problem in and of itself, though it definitely is - solitary confinement is pretty much a form of torture for a reason - it also magnifies everything else horrible going on in your life. Molehills become mountains, and mountains become impossible to climb. Mental health issues are hard enough when you have people who love you and support you; when you have nothing and nobody, it becomes all-consuming.

​

If you're reading this and you can count the number of people who you think truly love and support you on one hand, I would seriously consider putting some time and effort into expanding your support network. You might not like people and that's fine, people are jerks. But I would suggest reaching out as much as you feel comfortable and extend yourself out to others and sift for the good folks out there who want to help. If and when it all goes to shit and you can't handle it any more, it's a lot easier when you have loved ones backing you up, and it's a lot harder when you have no one.

​

Obviously this isn't taking into account toxic or abusive relationships, etc. Truly hostile relationships are just as damaging as no relationships. But I want people to understand that they don't necessarily have to be alone, and it's a lot easier to develop your support network over time than when you're in an emergency and it's too late.

​

There. Just wanted to get that down in case I don't get another chance.",8.847560447491881,8.484358184049082,8.720111872970048,66.69910321183688,60.71779141104296,11.719667989895346,38.50162396246842,11.088447113337141,4.479434716708768,1432,63,231,33,17,465,172,326,0.157,0.6579999999999999,0.185,0.7605,0,3,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,16,1,3,16,18,4,0,11,0,23,7,2,1,3,54,44,35,1,9,11,0,3,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,25,22,0,1,5,1,1,3,10,7,0,3,0,3,23,11,37,40,11,32,0,1,0,3,29,15,1,9,13,177,48,1,0.0,0.08517220567721798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445138638745573,0.0,0.05748656741035307,0.0,0.3115503309315591,0.3493935384771322,0.04888440014865692,0.07537789859845975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527528057388061,0.0,0.0,0.2381746626155755,0.06116900947881575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005085938716163,0.1617223460561345,0.06366894937018397,0.07427662635789263,0.08017099851862837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460578138625292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03634731635948968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267114806925158,0.0,0.04085401500302435,0.0602938940798685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643950183223464,0.0,0.0,0.07641060468989995,0.0,0.0,0.04818313339803956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502947105753194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03950622523235975,0.0,0.0810896352061841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05077464172324493,0.035119477011798884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833426758277069,0.1946375951737913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448867453738937,0.07625883587223317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056877844886927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689757868848268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613381308069642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491807278590341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313309024962802,0.07750440243173334,0.06878442682546645,0.0,0.07226447949518869,0.0,0.0,0.07190465183237378,0.0,0.0,0.0739099567025845,0.0,0.2315334032825299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378912342357387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534073793437947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863073991244605,0.3262978863207139,0.0,0.0,0.05404872318152363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04606113271492748,0.07062684271877251,0.0,0.08383367486768092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880533123311241,0.0,0.0,0.07483502699014173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695990106431828,0.0,0.05766197033011033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213036530564408,0.0,0.3493935384771322,0.0
mentalhealth,Eunomia28,2019/03/21,"I am an emotional wreck. I am ashamed of how emotionally unstable I am. I started off the day on such a high, then my boyfriend didn't reply to my texts for a few hours, which isn't like him. I began to get paranoid, then he gave me a short reply and apologised for being late. This was also not like him because he will usually explain why he was late. I broke down and sobbed, thinking I was going to get dumped. He called later and explained how tired he had been and that he had kept falling asleep.

For starters I don't want anyone to have that kind of hold on me; nobody has until now. I am also worried that he might find out I am an emotional wreck and won't want me anymore. I have suffered from depression in the past due to bullying, sexual abuse and a very restrictive upbringing. I don't want to be one of those needy girls who used to always bemuse me. He is on his way to my place and I am sitting around in tears. I need to pull myself together before he arrives and pretend that everything is fine.",4.692882748319639,5.0522385048543725,5.5404854368932055,83.56377520537715,69.29126213592232,8.862733383121736,29.438386855862586,8.841846274778883,2.1393312920089618,796,28,165,13,13,261,122,206,0.26,0.711,0.029,-0.9926,0,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,7,10,1,1,8,0,26,2,1,3,0,26,41,15,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,8,10,0,3,4,1,0,3,6,6,0,1,10,0,25,4,26,26,1,32,0,4,0,0,18,12,1,1,17,112,33,0,0.0,0.17014574025289167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296780854472704,0.11948896621250928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241531032109414,0.10041036024805547,0.0,0.0,0.1278368657010714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753888479904724,0.0,0.12219533726473765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663443212842225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926118739771496,0.0,0.12368481169021005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4846011923673027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290608645294337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125028383662454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500529876772053,0.0,0.08161273469112029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517241572526092,0.0,0.0,0.14141975192292935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149540133945246,0.0,0.0,0.3239802444774212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031406997048687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233979180341328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647959676049458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730891904972501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370850445363387,0.0,0.0,0.15003427736375802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164274382344626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201482408907843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16505020099559534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240266425023932,0.15815810724432205,0.1184872826969724,0.25410181334332577,0.1139851544057473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957911817340206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583553206773414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NervousRay,2019/03/21,"Honestly When i was in 9th grade, I stayed in mental hospital. Because i was bullied and disappointed at my myself.  I did plan of how I was going to kill myself.  For me to leave the mental hospital, I had to lie about how i feel to my high school teachers for the next 3 years. When i did graduate high school at went to CC, I did drugs to escape the pain of how i feel inside.During my last year of community college, I worked to as a server I became better of having a poker face. 

Now, I am Cal State Long Beach and I pick up drinking habit by blacking out in front of my  Fraternity pledge buddies. I also want to smoke again. Little do my Fraternity pledge buddies know,how hard the test are with test are with my learning disability with all of my classes and work. My Fraternity expect me to get a 90%.  Also  To this day, I get nightmares of the mental hospital event and still feel claustrophobic if I have to be in a white square room.  Also, I try to justify why i lie to them if they ask me about how i was doing.  Today, I have to take a test for my Fraternity @5 and if i dont get 90 %, I will be disqualified out my fraternity. i dont know how i can live with shame if I dont make it through this week. In addition this is my last week at working as a server, i  decided to quit so I can have more time for school. But I never been this nervous in my life. I am planning to tell my pledge class about it.  This last 2 months, I dont have time for myself and i even bought a panda planner to make more time for myself. This semester, i had a couple of mental breakdowns.  I keep telling myself, I need to try my best because if i do I wont have any regrets.  This weekend, I am driving 320 miles min cause of my school and work. I have to cut this short because i have class. This is what is in my mind right now.  ",2.9697287839020134,3.7545093674540735,4.748503937007879,86.15159230096239,73.43569553805774,7.639195100612423,25.134733158355203,7.921354282810032,1.2013069116360455,1403,42,312,19,27,479,170,381,0.08,0.877,0.043,-0.918,0,0,3,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,2,10,19,10,2,2,13,0,39,5,1,9,2,43,56,26,1,9,6,0,4,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,12,14,1,1,6,4,1,4,6,7,0,0,12,7,66,3,58,40,4,51,0,2,3,0,5,20,0,5,25,222,78,26,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098124429938985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05947218559927354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175832612930628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599346950396466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177829769446437,0.07734656305881629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984005328124561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676694692139064,0.0,0.056401037685852175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099849638279801,0.08567229817864365,0.10141967102522176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776299546362342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326591512625816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707439202037264,0.0,0.04970251359015857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834222102938958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848013552380976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773374343949598,0.09675565284635064,0.0,0.09612561685121362,0.2138617251467708,0.0,0.09260188527937696,0.0,0.0,0.0617718312410223,0.0,0.08765257079337999,0.0772240902032625,0.0773946452931536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11675336433786901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525350167148419,0.0,0.08830430258431242,0.0,0.0698054961987229,0.0,0.0,0.06484654172039286,0.06745044544672757,0.0,0.09300905097912304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305795218430923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301882383745212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468582421358537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3540352458732313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321505932669767,0.06984142540942218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575504019033454,0.0,0.15287850100842584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15298659253375912,0.0,0.08289681675735565,0.0,0.0,0.11875198257534228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158303982329655,0.0,0.14030174824949113,0.0,0.0,0.08107137032516333,0.07891425163473921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546722126824157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263590126152445
mentalhealth,PurpleRange,2019/03/21,"Confusion about emotional and psychological state. So this is my first post and I just thought it'd be helpful to get insight from other people who may be experiencing similar things. Im a university student,  3rd year. I have a part time job, good core friend group, supportive family, etc. I've recently been feeling huge waves of anxiety in a way, tightness in my chest, struggling to sleep, lack of appetite, my mind sometimes spirals into really negative thoughts out of nowhere, being able to cry easily without thinking of something specific. I've woken up some mornings just feeling completely down and the day has barely started. I had similar feelings to fall semester near the start of exam period, but this semester it feels a lot worse. My boyfriend said I should go talk to someone which I plan to do so, but I have no idea what's going on and it'd be nice to know that I'm not overthinking it in deciding to see someone and just some sort of reassurance if that makes sense. 

Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated. ",7.8179961922893835,8.169539738219896,8.10956687291766,67.8475583055688,62.61256544502618,11.762208472156114,39.87672536887197,11.389717465364855,4.898514136125655,834,43,139,23,11,274,136,191,0.091,0.76,0.14800000000000002,0.8558,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,2,6,0,17,2,2,1,0,38,36,10,0,4,8,0,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,13,7,0,1,11,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,6,8,10,6,26,20,6,24,0,0,1,0,8,10,0,7,8,93,23,3,0.14295862544049914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969751423950172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721676755969112,0.0,0.10936295716701687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149889398872694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703333722649168,0.09219648673711844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080921191562494,0.0,0.0,0.15943665677214966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347686690734585,0.0,0.289136705795184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160053376924095,0.0,0.0,0.11044947939112644,0.0,0.07468998139298988,0.0,0.16249336264130354,0.11990691239344695,0.0,0.15761238923643311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19164430638854826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613828871386289,0.15441984729903138,0.0,0.14186437687191766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856632185105461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215383111006882,0.0,0.0,0.09542599257345256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443474587717959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548102601357109,0.0,0.09910951071081896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691484575796992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158295612199982,0.0,0.14115439596541413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359863899897358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391951556044723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306186845008986,0.0,0.2422567588349213,0.11005653419061467,0.14138973600324098,0.0,0.2023737017815847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945139495576626,0.0,0.0,0.16222775401352088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490472795258695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497535844428057,0.09160211476597646,0.0,0.2269863599326724,0.08336032413716724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347390269838188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780701343419569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456870526209233,0.10155370582958796,0.0,0.0,0.09206066770103448
mentalhealth,Ice_Cold_Refreshment,2019/03/21,"How do I deal with my paranoia I've been dealing with paranoia all my life. To be more specific I find myself panicking when alone and in dimly lit areas due to irrational thoughts in my head. These vary from being attacked to seeing ghosts (to be clear I don't believe in ghosts or anything paranormal but my mind throws that out the window when I panic) or even being scared that my paranoid mind will make me hallucinate something scary.

In response to this I often act in a very cautious manner. At night I run upstairs and slam my bedroom door to escape from the dark, when turning my bedroom light out I turn a lamp on first then turn out the main light then turn out the lamp so I am in bed when the light goes out. I also often create unsettling fantasies in my head especially at night and will often break out in a stress sweat.

The reason im making this post is because I recently started a new job cleaning cinemas. I start work at 10pm and finish around 1am. The time is not really an issue however the emptiness is an issue. Having to clean a whole screen on my own in a poorly lit room causes me to be very panicked and often hyper sensitive to movement and sound. All this is made worse by the music that cuts out and starts randomly and the lights that dim slightly every now and then. The other day I saw someone in the projector room and due to the lighting they only appeared as a silhouette. This scared the shit out of me and the possibility of this happening again makes me very anxious.

This is all making it hard for me to bring myself to go to work and is stressing me out just thinking about it.

What can I do to make this easier on myself?

TL;DR: Im paranoid about the dark rooms I work in. How do I get over it?",5.5497433786194605,5.775511991354468,6.122873610539317,80.59532180595583,67.4149855907781,8.6844517634143,29.780293673665433,8.418075326091056,2.0947838342253338,1379,46,267,18,21,449,182,347,0.161,0.7859999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.988,2,1,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,4,19,8,3,5,25,0,21,5,4,10,4,55,43,27,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,10,0,17,24,0,0,4,2,1,7,2,8,0,1,4,12,34,0,53,32,7,63,0,0,5,0,3,32,1,9,22,193,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868916371852623,0.0,0.0762014186445334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076478080391748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841353394126115,0.08482612089457492,0.0,0.1084033433377262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05808640554676878,0.0,0.0,0.1073564375481916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788656116068103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145258627216945,0.1964745582633512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293652754828066,0.0,0.08028386989373483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709109366156402,0.08105154064604532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04978381159259016,0.0,0.05415411009554983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426246503876615,0.0,0.08535892767394197,0.0,0.1955850318133433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20585380905753045,0.1989108897012774,0.09455818944084808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730441396614634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016338298088407,0.3180258949534663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924265224690156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202930876235904,0.0,0.17884181988023876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247047496494012,0.0,0.11179940810119923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742239447144077,0.09125913219310364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061043643975228164,0.0979714706653136,0.09408495922945287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079891953236625,0.0,0.07593183976763902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781129990377983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073683119166784,0.07335701067925636,0.0,0.0,0.20233505323382708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183031312616445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061056413965316726,0.0,0.07564767031818151,0.05556293620300034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41458196395214986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23586662215324056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638514573336463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081114119942363,0.0,0.09710615324695393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WhiteWhiteBlackOne,2019/03/21,"Finding and staying in “the zone”? First post in this sub, so not sure if it’s the right place to be posting this. 

I’m normally a pretty laid back, normal guy. I do well at the things I set my mind to. But there’s this part of me that I’ve been trying to tap into and harness with my new career. It’s this zen-like state of focus where I’m damn near incapable of losing whatever it is I’m doing. All fear is gone, all limitations are gone, and all inhibitions are nonexistent. I’ve tapped into this state of mind a few times but only a few times.

My new career is personal training where my income is decided on my client base. I’m wanting to find this part of myself again so I can use it to excel in this business. The few times I’ve been in this zone, I broke a state high school powerlifting record, shattered an office sales record at my old job, and placed top 8 at state in my first year as a swimmer. I’ve also found it a few times during workouts. Like I said above, I’m normally your average guy but in that state of mind I’m damn near unstoppable. People who have seen me there even told me that whatever happened wasn’t myself, that it was like I was gone and someone else took over. Trust me I know this sounds crazy, but it’s true.

I figure this sub being devoted to mental health can shine some light on this state. Is there any term for it besides “being in the zone” and can it be accessed at will? 

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mentalhealth,emily-noel,2019/03/21,"Mood stabilizer stopped working.. can’t control emotions... feeling hopeless ? Sorry if this is all over the place I’m just feeling so lost right now...   Little bit of backstory : I’ve always had issues sticking with anything, sports/other activities as a child and it followed me into teen/adult life with not being able to keep a job for very long. I usually start to feel drained and anxious then start calling off and eventually quit after a few months. Or something minor will happen (like argument with boss) that would blow over but instead of letting it blow over I get anxious and quit. The only job I’ve been able to keep is being an entertainer at a night club (stripper) because I don’t have to have a schedule and can take long periods of time off. I’ve also had issues with relationships when I was 14-19 I would always fall in and out of love so fast and jump from relationship to relationship. I was almost never single, I couldn’t stand being alone. Fast forward to now. I’m 23 and feel like it’s getting worse. I’m still dancing and have been since I was 18, I can’t seem to keep any other job and I know I need to. I stopped going to college last semester. My boyfriend has pretty much been taking care of me and I feel so terrible about it. A few months ago he (and my best friend)pressured me pretty hard to get an abortion that I didn’t want. Basically made me feel terrible and like I would be ruining everything if I kept it and idk if he knew it or not but he made me feel so embarrassed to admit that i wanted it. Well I did what he wanted and that’s when everything seemed to spiral out of control. I couldn’t work, cried all the time, lost pleasure in doing things I used to enjoy. He suggested I see a psychiatrist. He thought I had a mild case of bipolar disorder and started me on a mood stabilizer that helped so much at first but now I feel like I’m almost back to square one. I started a job doing something I enjoy and I’m already feeling like I want to leave it. I’m back to not leaving the house and slacking on chores, basically doing nothing all day other than spending money which I should be saving. Now I feel like I can’t control my emotions . The last week I’ve just started crying out of no where and I don’t know why. Then I’ll feel ok for a few minutes.... then back to crying. Then I get flashbacks(??) of how terrible the abortion was and that makes it worse. Every time I try to talk to boyfriend about what I went through I shut down and feel like I can not talk about it. He tries to help but doesn’t really know how to. He goes above and beyond for me but I always wonder if it’s because he loves me or if he only does all of this because he feels bad about what happened. I don’t know what to do at this point. I feel so hopeless.. I can’t keep wasting money on school because I always fail out, I have shit job history and no real skills or talent, my past is haunting me, I’m afraid my boyfriend will abandon me... the list goes on. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or how to fix it if I even can ?? I have never felt so hopeless . This wave of emotions is so draining. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.... ( I’m very aware I need to see a doctor/therapist/counselor so let’s just leave that part out) ",2.451744931190252,4.172884916167668,3.818849669082887,88.55667874776766,76.33532934131736,6.424246244353397,25.042651539027208,7.2039019648360325,1.0287181636726546,2556,89,536,29,57,840,266,668,0.16,0.716,0.124,-0.9727,6,1,2,0,0,3,81.0,0,0,0,13,37,37,1,2,21,1,55,5,1,11,6,126,129,60,0,18,24,0,16,7,0,6,2,0,1,1,33,34,0,11,27,3,3,8,21,16,1,2,21,19,62,19,77,93,13,82,0,8,3,2,24,30,1,17,52,346,95,11,0.10413739674859533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0461557594633282,0.0,0.104278560227924,0.053927468417960006,0.05745910342624413,0.04163931927802327,0.17330131273550242,0.0,0.0,0.03540850040627033,0.0,0.0,0.1176456167944091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428481022214213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011284512268268,0.04347518823155449,0.12696238097914514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546428865604182,0.0,0.05684553295008765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05316796266963631,0.0,0.05308750818943261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519841815419165,0.0,0.0,0.17158506061934786,0.033580002915479856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967523935741877,0.05329451912575762,0.04556566883211429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571083224764572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034390884204633716,0.0,0.04387012408489226,0.0,0.09359197737953216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685849774233265,0.18598944261208064,0.04999411590161769,0.0,0.0,0.0442896082378707,0.0,0.0,0.04022814720199151,0.0,0.10881498337719092,0.0,0.05918368241947655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208835602574864,0.0,0.04664332640872618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980110191847103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008028704667635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869238646046303,0.25835074402264685,0.18512420610901026,0.0,0.0,0.17169356947447176,0.08488587738329906,0.0,0.16539970035553572,0.0,0.10648754369993152,0.03677766151611751,0.17806695153895905,0.05218651470891874,0.0,0.09215831910974033,0.0,0.0,0.11367827014542005,0.0,0.09398806636103003,0.09853732274043568,0.0347562604849128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831214765560112,0.0,0.0765529688126592,0.07721656016892049,0.08031718023938712,0.0,0.0,0.0488629461939172,0.0,0.04996132039069947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035283097566929614,0.07920118283812592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056385326281749,0.049705464294294815,0.0,0.0,0.05440070754361353,0.0,0.049221750054358034,0.0,0.0,0.10594517056324787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107629399676693,0.0,0.05926557803873458,0.033356541473796485,0.0,0.0,0.16770688766280906,0.0,0.04446638391311576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05269630256992545,0.08298402249442227,0.09480277487282728,0.0,0.0,0.05344777063391525,0.0430717653583015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017005570995485,0.0,0.05828664490290315,0.18427246352723828,0.0,0.041582129781593764,0.08706352664577953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829836229601163,0.0837016948520415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060455772007136185,0.03459212955208715,0.0,0.0,0.04133673037914465,0.09108503024230023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070245663404333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044970637543249994,0.05734631504899141,0.08592425846805178,0.12284586941847082,0.0,0.04176636910039192,0.0,0.046816013037782836,0.0482682050469405,0.046983901514850566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646628228495878,0.07581326510338668,0.0,0.10612490399352008,0.11096432820348694,0.056928947791085996,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lightz_2091,2019/03/21,"How to deal with a depressed friend who got so used to you always understanding them but never give you a break, and never letting it affect you? My friend has been depresses for 3 yrs now, I was the first to know and told her to see a doctor, I know about her mental status much more than her family, and whenever she has something to say - or her depression- I should always listen.

Now I feel more like her therapist because of that, I always listen, understand, calm and make her feel kinda better (there's no such thing in depression but I mean at least she's less maniac)


I always tell her there are times when I can't listen to her due to my own problems and life, she fails to understand that.


We had this fight thousands of times and yet she still doesn't get it, all I ask is that she leaves me alone and give me my time.

But, she gets too paranoid over it, and when she does give me time she turns completely maniac the time we talk after my break.

Now she says I shouldn't get her used to me always listening and then suddenly decide not to, though I said it's only because I need time for myself cause I face problems too. And that she can't be that flexible to understand that or to be understanding though I told her she just HAS to leave me for some time.

She also believes I only listen to her as a favor and pretend to be worried about her. She frequently mentions that.

Now I try to be very supportive but there are times when even people without mental disorders face hard times, it's becoming more difficult because whatever I feel isn't important - she says it is but acts completely the opposite - and whatever she does that ends up hurting me isn't her fault or anyone's fault and she can't control it so it happens over and over again.

I'm losing the sense that I even matter and it used to make feel worse before but now I'm better.

What can I do to be supportive friend without letting it hurt and affect me??

I don't know if this is the right place to post this so please tell me if it's not. ",4.2959652509652475,5.206366773955775,5.0681177606177625,84.61638513513516,70.44963144963145,8.566128466128466,25.59222534222534,8.841846274778883,1.6933566865566867,1595,45,327,28,28,517,176,407,0.156,0.735,0.109,-0.9643,0,1,1,0,1,0,33.0,2,3,1,6,29,26,3,0,9,0,29,4,2,10,3,70,71,39,0,7,16,0,5,1,3,2,2,9,0,0,26,19,0,1,14,1,0,1,15,16,0,2,7,15,68,10,38,55,9,41,0,8,1,0,60,8,0,7,30,241,94,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028310909551512,0.0,0.054268092037964816,0.2823272496073824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0474497047543326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344049433785247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12410156366266295,0.07494669389267614,0.057744366828722575,0.07645565052943062,0.0,0.12003436048885313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971152249970344,0.0,0.0,0.14230108219114807,0.0,0.07611142582019076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996129206394325,0.2337929186907522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777411922161764,0.06945819286152825,0.11877052520681805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060104343675934986,0.0,0.0,0.0896425638864408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397292803509784,0.0,0.13724942005666332,0.04847962149606652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057722186093630924,0.0,0.0,0.15728677841474864,0.0,0.1063630776525391,0.19529419418866664,0.0,0.0,0.054274315738507634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060008898645322,0.0,0.060789762522403874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452923375574727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118832223019193,0.0,0.0,0.1437091402641862,0.0,0.13878410892885815,0.04793194400637499,0.033153258172417044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591864596572458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059494610356028,0.0,0.0,0.07392008024542318,0.0,0.0,0.13677503436421212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04988534430121526,0.05031777016001397,0.1046765462316604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322207841768398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04704599102956973,0.0,0.07089987672938194,0.07449055341777608,0.0,0.0,0.06499169009257587,0.0,0.0,0.12986684625287992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795257599386485,0.06455096425879445,0.16189640282918102,0.0,0.0,0.05407610701244922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224240018079297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419355756166567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540147944496755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05454377447473815,0.1186262994458239,0.0,0.0,0.0787913793115504,0.045083562912918665,0.0,0.13334537696967955,0.0,0.3561305196753412,0.0,0.0,0.1296874102229677,0.0,0.04607288844358635,0.0738128389774063,0.0,0.3532263548956653,0.0,0.17582929352721904,0.0,0.05599209650503531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308303808855196,0.0,0.0,0.06891572664623519,0.06915574218428884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnnaisMirbel,2019/03/21,"I need advices for my mental health. I sense that I have mental issues, just don't know what that is. Please help me out.

Usually, I suffer from these symptoms once per two to three months:

I mess up my room to feel safe. It feels like I'm not alone, and someone were there with me. They're just not back, not yet.
I think about my previous mistakes, my failures, and they all ended up with thoughts that I should die. 
I don't want to talk. I don't want to answer messages. I skip classes. Everything that I love to do suddenly becomes boring. I sleep a lot during days, cannot go back to sleep at night. I want to isolate myself, because I feel more comfortable to be alone. 

I know when that pace comes. I told my friend that I would be weird for a while. It's a sadness and sorrow for me to see myself suffering for stupid reasons. When I was in high mood, I don't give a damn. I love studying, love to get to know new things, talkative with friends and family, mind full with plans. But now, even hearing sounds outdoor could piss me off. 

What should I do? 
",1.9676635514018697,3.964299831775701,2.6988878504672904,94.770761682243,78.7196261682243,5.775327102803737,21.914953271028036,6.742157984588678,0.3415166355140187,820,24,180,8,20,256,128,214,0.175,0.6579999999999999,0.16699999999999998,0.3105,0,2,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,1,11,20,3,0,4,0,17,8,3,1,1,39,40,8,1,9,6,0,3,1,2,3,2,2,1,0,12,10,0,1,10,0,0,2,8,11,0,2,4,6,33,8,27,30,4,25,0,4,1,3,12,9,2,1,15,118,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164159099188095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578499697193797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143672285741034,0.0,0.07588258602565451,0.13747970884819127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722953416387676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993881115589942,0.0,0.0,0.08028007793565832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919183578512308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025339798059658,0.0,0.0,0.08221866064673458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187567876472064,0.0,0.11734979975268793,0.0,0.18882430960857646,0.088929396377297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923477374740939,0.0,0.0650362908549752,0.11941371287726107,0.07074553640024504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323176979068979,0.14029936292796355,0.0,0.08343712649629484,0.13152122558244378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992603481931495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523484130056385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06081522805315119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582946739773452,0.33704743764362605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508955488953298,0.0,0.12569052954323226,0.0,0.09935970870579387,0.0,0.0,0.09230123481357363,0.0,0.12022472165915772,0.0,0.11681717653470597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256841868963468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366429800156568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798740911648826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919540224631104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491422039007096,0.0,0.10547251944187976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293836330370413,0.0,0.10005327579901672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826997800861347,0.0797625286248901,0.0,0.09882417058734808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894712410037242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160004761631275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709845865836962,0.0,0.22026671638053105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842787515212265,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,celestial_aquaria,2019/03/21,"Kicked off an online CBT program for not using it for 2 weeks. In October, I visited my GP for my chronic mental health issues (depression and anxiety). I was placed on a waiting list for online CBT - I finally received a place on the programme 4 months later in February. I've tried my best to engage with it but obviously suffering depression and having other obligations sometimes I don't have the time/motivation to use it as much as I would like to. 

I received a message from my advisor today:

'Hi OP, I can see that you have logged on once over the past fortnight but haven't completed the questionnaires or recommended modules. We therefore assume that you no longer wish to engage with the programme and will discharge you from the service.'

I am made to wait 4 months to receive help, and for not using the service for 2 weeks I am discharged as they 'assume I'm fine'. 

Does this make sense to anyone? I'm on the program because I suffer with severe depression - do they not think a 2 week absence cold be indicative of this, not that I don't want to engage?

I'm really upset and feeling lost. This is the only thing they offered me, I have no idea if and when I'll be eligible for face-to-face help and I have been doing my best to engage considering my mental health issues and life obligations.

Don't know what this post is for, just wanted to vent. ",5.567205882352943,6.303346068181818,6.46798573975045,76.34991978609628,67.48484848484848,9.393582887700537,31.438502673796787,9.478462496947786,2.8964040106951865,1078,42,196,21,17,358,142,264,0.123,0.737,0.139,0.1186,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,3,3,3,2,15,0,1,14,0,22,4,0,6,1,40,40,16,0,5,9,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,13,12,0,2,6,0,0,4,10,7,0,0,4,3,27,8,35,32,3,25,0,6,1,0,16,10,0,4,11,134,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276835185605103,0.0,0.0,0.08479218388991024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392278246051037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545229026152964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714535940061164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31333933882868353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612091546384357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061315861312948965,0.0,0.0,0.1328412530452127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578007131897236,0.0,0.0,0.16256442681145405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689483939939506,0.0,0.2531409249721092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664476142853001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565394097669964,0.05924456596852844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132376440480072,0.0,0.0,0.1147450609701282,0.08094616572728172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444157224034173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358713287696566,0.0,0.08914464925124538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914460206475542,0.0,0.09222845010317812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576236033977252,0.0,0.0,0.25339484898947834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613954957522815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776862670654383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663350348731906,0.0,0.0,0.13699634916509934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993542528620167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056391028598517,0.07770251859951849,0.0,0.0,0.07071132749804131,0.0,0.1149462288399096,0.0,0.0,0.08233182586644404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142053226080745,0.0,0.0,0.14305195619615144,0.0,0.2918174211947841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945020662573865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614406704728736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuperKnucklePuck,2019/03/21,"Seeing people that aren't there and feelings of paranoia. For the past year or two I've been seeing people that aren't there out of the corners of my eyes with increasing regularity. It's gone from just feeling like my mind was playing tricks on me to being 100% sure that I saw a woman standing in my kids' room yesterday. I also frequently see ""shadow blobs"" dart across the road while driving home at night.

I'm not delusional, I've never believed any of these things to be real, but I have been growing increasingly paranoid in regards to other things. I very often feel like other cars are following me and I have to make a few unplanned turns to make sure that's not the case. I also constantly feel like I'm being watched when I'm alone.

Any ideas? I'm sure a lot of people have similar experiences, should I just ignore it? ",5.877852760736197,6.300229208588959,6.403809815950923,78.1825245398773,66.73006134969326,8.973987730061351,30.410429447852763,8.841846274778883,2.3799919018404916,663,23,124,10,10,216,101,163,0.068,0.802,0.13,0.8343,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,1,0,7,0,13,1,1,2,4,27,30,8,0,1,6,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,2,2,11,4,0,1,5,1,0,7,5,2,0,1,5,10,12,7,19,21,4,26,0,0,6,0,2,9,0,3,12,81,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331227393912435,0.0,0.2213130230687165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881962146143321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558985263155768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953161378892324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353549462333465,0.0,0.0,0.2798613598384712,0.2965602213271763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13879899161700615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620581318121765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20280557640341199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763942915364126,0.0,0.0,0.1847295587884305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971687195509072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672147306521472,0.0,0.0,0.12985330362890146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209229589651875,0.2877903969076485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749830289120362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33079512110929304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912435901184783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385720271843334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050964500415856,0.1351699156991586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417187964536925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910741228649037
mentalhealth,SplAgentLundy23,2019/03/21,how honest should I be when filling out new patient forms for a psychiatrist? I was not completely honest with my last psychiatrist and I just don’t want to say something too far and end up hospitalized for the way I have felt in the past and don’t currently feel. ,4.362884615384616,6.008025673076923,5.364615384615386,79.75538461538463,71.11538461538461,9.046153846153846,28.384615384615394,9.516144504307137,2.5134076923076925,213,8,42,5,4,70,41,52,0.0,0.8420000000000001,0.158,0.7845,1,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,0,12,9,5,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,5,2,7,5,1,12,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,30,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760710266629108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176855985219678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813602873387328,0.0,0.3443907617713252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29237352684854384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464171023930544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424023488323291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28523815133145275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.276130761183313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21155980952209893,0.2847049051379034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MsTeaParty,2019/03/21,"My therapist asked me if I think about sex or touch myself a lot. Why? I was in 6th grade, and I spent pretty much my entire childhood being sexually abused by schoolmates, family and strangers. It wasn’t until I was in 6th grade that I realized what the meaning of rape and abuse was. So I asked my mom and this lead to me going to the doctors and then seeing a therapist.

At the time I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t know this stranger. Every time I had to go to therapy I kept my lips shut. I denied anything really happened to me and always confirmed that I was fine. 
But one question she asked confused me, she asked if I think about sex or touch myself a lot. Of course I told her no, but this wasn’t true. Ever since then I never got a answer as to why she asked me that....Since I was a child, I was always touching my self and thinking about sex. I still do. 

Anyone know why she asked that?

(I haven’t been to therapy again, and I’m about to go to college. Honestly I do need help.)",1.7947826086956518,3.4414884057971022,3.3742270531401,91.35380434782611,77.98550724637681,6.339130434782609,21.644927536231886,7.1686216300943375,0.5193942028985505,768,21,170,9,18,254,105,207,0.079,0.863,0.058,-0.2287,0,0,0,0,2,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,1,2,8,0,16,6,1,1,3,34,39,19,0,3,6,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,8,9,0,1,9,0,1,4,6,3,0,1,16,4,38,3,23,22,3,19,0,0,1,4,17,5,0,8,10,119,46,5,0.0,0.2473269617109888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17369134794325042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297916858672382,0.0,0.08588907393918678,0.0,0.5854410966910583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682892955425187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441024166974664,0.08793771802954832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839241622748897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779506469989637,0.0,0.08347563928409818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922956118191799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995819759684803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471999084324633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774662935476012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369145553392113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053857349968587,0.12223895598159265,0.0,0.0,0.07672526037019715,0.07739034521769872,0.08049794360226029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072501274547781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618361276520397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692026938330825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686322867214776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449434991355007,0.0,0.08317078790284578,0.0,0.10888251910261383,0.0,0.0,0.17267481394781592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335143061656229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387164309490473,0.2423673396380027,0.0,0.20063164826075716,0.0,0.0,0.12172003724236333,0.0,0.0,0.09973169931445544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825378662261751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WalkingWithElias,2019/03/21,"I have felt completely unmotivated to do any and all things this week after a family member took their frustration out on me in a verbally/emotionally abusive way. Is this what depression feels like? I'm 21/Male/United States citizen (if that matters). My mother and father never married and don't get along. Apparently, my mother has been trying to shake my dad down for $$ lately and she tried pulling me into their drama in an attempt to get me on her side/persuade him to cough up the money.

I repeatedly asked her to leave me out of it. She went nuclear on me, texting me, ""I'm not sure who you think you are but I am DONE with the way you treat me. Like I said, if you need something call someone else.""

She called me an asshole. She told me I was being an asshole for wanting to be left out of her drama. She then proceeded to say she was getting ready to cut me off (my cell phone bill/car insurance), even though I'm still in college and have no way of paying for those things on my own. 

**All of this was because I asked her to leave me out of her drama.** As a result, I've felt unmotivated to do anything this week even when I have a ton of free time in which I could be doing important things. I'm getting ready to graduate in early May and I don't know why she's treating me like this. *I can't afford** to feel like this, but I can't help it at the same time.

Has this triggered some sort of mini-depression? Otherwise, I don't know why I feel like this.",1.7735193945127712,3.6904079271523194,3.62040208136235,88.3166390728477,79.0,6.698391674550615,22.70624408703879,7.7094869923839395,0.974960832544939,1142,36,245,18,28,384,159,302,0.085,0.81,0.105,0.8969,2,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,4,2,1,5,13,2,1,10,0,26,1,0,2,4,40,50,14,0,5,5,4,5,5,0,1,1,2,0,1,18,13,0,0,8,3,3,4,8,4,0,0,11,7,49,10,44,34,6,40,0,1,0,0,35,19,0,5,18,172,67,3,0.0,0.13299551424943826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633248293680094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923705323344264,0.0,0.20987343819033646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842533338400021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292354975047625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768988281607105,0.0,0.0,0.0896208870047102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335806010935205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486866632639968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093768793021319,0.12626388155822005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827747866254318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581741597352314,0.0,0.170267870570494,0.24056996130959005,0.21555134813474852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23457976945097656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752374621916785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123377120483266,0.0,0.12662062287569098,0.2377088299943018,0.12195777050958012,0.0,0.0,0.274193492361608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832304629383404,0.08657257042533925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677354384525524,0.08926410764145726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510735840263976,0.08641398730965208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964139050258302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105792402991217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237177323370666,0.07192398017199612,0.1102830811121029,0.0,0.13090541229730907,0.0,0.0,0.10725776555485846,0.12471164799182745,0.15241803529336448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620677325819019,0.2672916913076172,0.18007713515725307,0.0,0.0,0.1040550120976921,0.2025727053976885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lauryn23,2019/03/21,"How do I bring up mental health with my doctor? I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m nervous, I’ve been putting it off for so long now, my mental health has never been great my doctor sent me to a self harm/suicide prevention counseling service when I was 16 and I haven’t discussed mental health with my doctor since, I’m 20 now and am almost certain I have bipolar disorder, it runs in my family and feel like it would make sense for my behavior and attitude towards life . My friends and family know about my mental health but it’s something I don’t like to discuss with them, I don’t like the idea of people feeling sorry for me or people potentially treating me differently so I choose to keep it to myself even tho it’s not really a secret.

Anyway how do I ask my doctor about it? How does one bring that up in conversation casually? Getting really anxious thinking about it and need some advice
",3.8196254681647934,5.819881561797758,5.2132808988764054,78.82179400749065,73.26966292134831,8.117453183520599,27.59700374531836,8.841846274778883,2.373376329588016,730,28,131,15,15,244,102,178,0.058,0.848,0.094,0.7275,1,0,1,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,1,0,14,9,0,1,4,0,13,11,0,4,2,32,27,16,0,2,3,0,2,3,1,1,11,0,0,1,9,10,0,2,7,1,0,5,5,1,0,1,4,2,23,8,20,22,1,17,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,3,9,93,32,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102747238391598,0.0,0.0,0.10352601142997467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679660173983672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665182928663184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801622612834504,0.1184891601552486,0.5290990769443641,0.09047366864324448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828538989172665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492598801283445,0.0,0.10455000118978344,0.07385888381898388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987566414298942,0.0,0.05401484824990396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398328300708035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395773669906933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671005931918155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189410860543452,0.0,0.0,0.056818168557424914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302449512466039,0.15152733672493734,0.0,0.0,0.0914932386548944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901086881828139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41675454802234857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665931015118059,0.07973755392586956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005693891467311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334948493291674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393135138886957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324632670927864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078540065747147,0.0,0.0,0.08552185728392234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959149115244478,0.0,0.1157320134310212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308735795089125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624548883498442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734423534093345,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,i_am_a_ghost87,2019/03/21,"I'm tired of fighting I'm tired of fighting whatever is going on in my head. I'm alone with no place in the world. I'm just so damn tired of trying to get better. I'm atbvbthe point of wanting to go off somewhere by myself and wait to die. I'm not suicidal, but I wish I was never born. Maybe I should just give up. ",0.054999999999999716,1.8199465000000004,2.6385714285714315,93.95642857142859,84.0,5.7142857142857135,20.0,6.868970318607317,0.2138571428571429,245,7,58,3,7,85,47,70,0.273,0.669,0.058,-0.8954,0,1,0,0,4,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,3,0,1,0,3,4,1,0,1,11,16,3,2,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,14,14,0,12,0,0,0,0,3,8,1,0,2,31,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060032386115073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591329782921336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20642962729734304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391846512904894,0.19080561936161866,0.2260820062398231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041315807093004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998245229975613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534060445524971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20781101478536226,0.0,0.1880273674769223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21756729944671946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6858282726206125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504189489777596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731798141400973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22872831919425876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uxanonymous,2019/03/21,"Research Study - Social Isolation within Youths in the Asian mental health community Hi Wonderful Readers!

My team and I are currently working on a project to help the Asian mental health community. We are looking for awesome people to participate in a 30min 1-on-1 interview session. We're hoping to get some cool feedback and insights from people.

Please don't be shy! We're not here to judge anyone. We are here to listen to you, and we appreciate blunt and honest opinions (trust me it won't hurt our feelings).

Everything is strictly CONFIDENTIAL. The data we gather will only show you ""Anon#1234"".  We will NOT post anything  online. We will only use this for the project we are working on internally. With that being said...

...if you meet the following criteria:

* Between the age of 18-24
* Feeling of social isolation and it is impeding in your daily life
* Your mood is affected negatively because you find yourself home all  the time and you are have little to no  social interaction with family  and/or friends
* Available for a 30 min interview on Thursday (3/21) between the times 10am - 10pm PST, and Friday (3/22) between the times 9am - 11am PST.

​

Please fill out our [form](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf8PHeQvHagi5RjznjirvBeT0Kqo2gPaj8lRc6POAwjWCt_YQ/viewform).

​

Your involvement to help improve our group is greatly appreciated!",6.967857428914697,10.342424898678416,6.523958750500604,66.66689126952343,68.73568281938326,8.708770524629555,33.666199439327194,9.339509955726095,3.847512775330397,1120,53,156,26,22,348,144,227,0.037000000000000005,0.778,0.18600000000000005,0.9877,1,2,0,0,0,0,69.0,10,8,0,3,2,8,0,0,12,1,17,3,0,2,1,31,27,8,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,4,3,2,1,0,4,17,0,0,5,2,0,2,6,1,0,0,1,6,21,6,27,20,2,20,0,1,1,0,35,9,0,5,8,97,25,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4820569002126441,0.2703055483988773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777238647478725,0.0,0.09153020487513724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678028438832857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996350386709882,0.0,0.10485475744957268,0.0,0.11247925561762934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016593086037172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593357381659372,0.0,0.058111428544317466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262797397981105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364578405681655,0.0,0.0,0.1491060006833615,0.0,0.1115695804992106,0.11047334012724386,0.0,0.0,0.119070623166662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856280019131788,0.0,0.11147850512358702,0.0,0.0,0.09340252495121852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22418096988695227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918603428608056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422135987503616,0.0,0.0,0.2441873195680562,0.0,0.0,0.10652455828121636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105802187087302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401452416184499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457177907328246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606427016133726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062075373540712,0.16194891552739338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703055483988773,0.0
mentalhealth,NinjaStock,2019/03/21,"I can't talk more than a few seconds without gagging I don't know what's going on but the past 2 weeks I have a problem with my gag reflex, I can't talk for more than a few seconds without gagging, it's come to the point of actually vomiting because of the gagging. It not only occurs when talking but also when something is touching my neck too tightly. This occured after a period of illness which made me vomit quite a bit.

I have been skipping classes, events, social life,... trying to stay home as much as possible because of this, I don't know if this is my mind playing tricks on me or if this is a physical problem? Can anyone help me? It's really controlling my life right now.",3.341422924901188,4.934117463768121,4.950553359683795,81.91440711462455,73.6376811594203,7.047167325428196,30.66139657444005,7.686295010490155,2.1604985507246384,542,25,101,7,11,183,85,138,0.12,0.8370000000000001,0.043,-0.8782,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,1,0,9,0,11,6,1,2,0,18,16,10,0,4,8,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,9,2,0,2,2,1,0,2,7,3,0,2,2,2,13,1,17,14,6,15,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,3,8,77,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.1600246862678919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113791051651688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466139498244593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19992619529438985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902800868329174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14125765812281282,0.0,0.0,0.18392195070189907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931958613125017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991498919832092,0.0,0.16448927848951905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802425875382332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23165343567241534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516558430978558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557704917713215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054707603285285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471718807985176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654124135135472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501784289498574,0.18486727155802588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31382099910677275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744171225884183,0.0,0.0,0.10505232138220648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004140259009742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716099234551307,0.0,0.12624286100355445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478507853509587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954122771423788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133434206099786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315380382929984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31614936396519216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lextrixix3,2019/03/21,"Is this normal? Am I going insane? About a year and a half ago my father suffered an acute psychotic episode that lasted about 3 weeks. He was acting crazy and I didn't know what was wrong with him. He kept talking about how he was going to die in order to save me and my sister. He was going to kill himself. He also talked a lot of creepy non sense, so much that I was afraid of sleeping in the same house even with my door locked. He was also very paranoid and believed he was supervised by 'bad people'.
Obviously that freaked me the fuck out quite literally as I was too scared to even look at him in fear that he would hurt him or myself. I called 911 eventually (after about 3 or 4 days of creepy shit, he refused to go to the doctor, to a psychologist or priest) and he was taken to a mental hospital, and while he was kept there I was even more scared since I was underage and my mom died, because I didn't want to get taken away to a foster house. Every member of my family turned their back on me saying that I have brought shame on their name. Those days I didn't speak a word to anyone about it fearing that they might call the social services on me. Because dad was away I barely had any money to eat and I remember feeling this weird calm.
Ever since I get triggered by almost anything that is slightly unusual in his behaviour, as well as in mine. At least once a week for a year and a half now I have almost the exact same dream in which I am the one experiencing what my father did, with the exact same hallucinations he had. It is really disturbing. I am really afraid of going insane and of my father going back to that state.
How to move on? Is it normal that I panic really bad at the smallest trigger? I can't even hear psychosis whitout re living this whole nightmare.
And yeah thanks if you managed to read all that. ",5.360820638820641,5.387262713513515,6.08584766584767,81.38508599508603,67.81081081081078,8.673218673218674,27.08845208845209,8.296473431620573,1.6297567567567564,1444,38,292,18,22,474,190,370,0.195,0.764,0.041,-0.996,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,3,1,21,23,3,9,19,1,31,5,2,4,5,48,52,24,3,5,4,6,1,0,0,2,1,3,1,0,20,15,1,3,3,2,1,9,4,19,1,3,24,6,40,4,52,26,9,41,1,2,1,1,37,16,2,8,14,206,60,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202894079885928,0.0,0.18532594724874796,0.0,0.0,0.14800446556081762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292869659982613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470439561677054,0.0,0.07615050605454808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17388411932733458,0.14231130381578644,0.15452995176036016,0.11282004406508728,0.0,0.0,0.1042581125553183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18898233775954731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935810842276172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920787017089721,0.0,0.0,0.09471608755011073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468899965264273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444806747624821,0.08370549768616428,0.07796686379426652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723615174798748,0.20826090620139834,0.046789757805119854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554945936921828,0.09669408469563093,0.0,0.3155472797692535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429652662657786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135517806069663,0.0990633444199216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237907117307077,0.0,0.05085620880876996,0.07543044130891408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171233819020887,0.0,0.07770822267371418,0.0,0.0,0.07867210252402665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932560695563789,0.09816770035157206,0.0,0.1083788418090149,0.0,0.09835275425651316,0.06802573524653835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133427215253076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854945397582424,0.062705828160353,0.0,0.0,0.10857285822473847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415387475055605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842505844297066,0.09256257631300603,0.0,0.17784574217543012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482698729526244,0.0,0.0,0.07358956149342444,0.1852924303594652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949884492019645,0.153096009328397,0.0,0.09260436384260856,0.09433036273518138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14875632968920074,0.0,0.08519612881228056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065426454218313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635315714674477,0.054581035319755056,0.0,0.14845605654225796,0.0,0.08320235668456702,0.0,0.0,0.10331485238697644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573600936499227,0.10117526701746993,0.0,0.1191822763080196
mentalhealth,Lo_451,2019/03/21,"Abnormally Clumsy and Feeling Half-awake Hi everyone! I'm a relatively healthy 24 year old living with daily stresses of work, grad school etc. in a large metropolitan area. I've always been a little anxious and depressive compared to other people my age, but it's recently started to become more noticeable. 

I have a terrible habit of accidentally destroying technology. My memory is pretty shot. I have the hardest time focusing on literally anything and will procrastinate until the last moment to the point of extreme stress. I dropped my phone in the toilet yesterday and broke down because this is the second time I've had to have it seriously repaired from damage. It's a less-than a year old phone too. I recently rear-ended someone in a roundabout cause I glanced at my GPS. Not a week after getting a new car, I seriously dented it by misjudging the width between me and a concrete garage beam.  I constantly spill and drop things. I just now spilled my entire smoothie across the coffee table, prompting me to break down into tears of defeat. I'm always running into door frames or hitting my knees and elbows against things (I'm rather lanky, to be fair). 

I consistently feel overwhelmed just from simple tasks like setting a meeting date or doing dishes. It seems like they all pile up and just look overhead. I'm feeling foggier and foggier, like I'm here living, but I can't quite see clearly, like I've got blinders on. I sleep alright, but I always feel a bit burnt out no matter how much I rest. Are these recognizable symptoms of something? My dad had severe depression, but I've never been diagnosed. I'm a woman and I know that signs of ADD are different with females, but I haven't really had anyone tell me more about it. Any experiences, tips, advice appreciated!",5.6936170212765935,7.597081060790278,6.5071416413373875,71.84902857142858,68.17933130699089,9.032996960486322,32.61288753799392,9.490545024520769,3.365747136778116,1435,64,232,31,25,473,206,329,0.16699999999999998,0.741,0.092,-0.9815,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,3,9,17,1,3,20,1,17,6,3,2,3,41,35,19,0,1,12,1,4,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,12,16,1,0,6,0,0,2,5,12,0,1,6,7,26,5,35,26,7,44,0,6,3,0,8,17,0,3,25,145,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136350616467086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902822173713583,0.0,0.0,0.07907967034974958,0.0,0.0,0.13137207856093422,0.0,0.08131111165534825,0.0,0.09569492522711666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088794441625203,0.12843070419210895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695612508212015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194595713289478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566576590848802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031696945551294,0.11802963732689432,0.0,0.12149596763437835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029964469728156,0.0,0.12969160131215351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111794633421633,0.0,0.1137517515990034,0.0,0.0,0.23519435951474796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06075555951148037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300595166777008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390871645427773,0.09479005215978904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227249319333212,0.11655089406590173,0.20536846039194226,0.0,0.09765243783102974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854848901893585,0.0,0.08968829608535757,0.11231145158327166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323943953418387,0.2440489029498145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061929677639491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992952888925807,0.0,0.0,0.11830646690993432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368635608839962,0.0,0.0,0.07449692230649944,0.0,0.2296402849335477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768943016695545,0.0926662957744607,0.1058640171027562,0.0,0.13137207856093422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637175027143322,0.0,0.09853024899692124,0.0895240056020785,0.0,0.0,0.08230908117017985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664144921535788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086751740381828,0.0,0.0,0.10164063537844696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451285257991096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561666610583206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327903362945213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465888054739976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497710207142126
mentalhealth,avrgans,2019/03/21,"'Sad for no reason' A little background on my mental health- perfectly fine till a couple of years ago when there were family issues, I gained weight, was really lonely all the time and generally hated life. 
Right now, everything else except my mental health is great- family issues sorted, I'm losing weight and I'm in a stable relationship. But I'm still pretty depressed all the time- even though there's nothing bad happening to me. I'm confused, living life with no motivation what so ever. What do i do? No-one knows how to help me either because I, myself don't know what is affecting me ",4.1875,6.546841321428571,5.424428571428575,76.12057142857145,73.28571428571428,8.051428571428572,22.807142857142853,8.841846274778883,1.9242471428571424,476,13,79,10,10,158,81,112,0.172,0.63,0.198,0.5199,0,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,4,10,10,1,1,5,0,7,6,0,4,4,19,15,8,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,4,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,2,9,3,9,13,3,13,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,2,9,51,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288210269485588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133953508490065,0.08858820920584355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607983283919329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516741558623265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139961973637114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598518305022877,0.13145394866931948,0.0,0.0,0.13060791091257928,0.0,0.2739972147823305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022030922644248,0.0,0.0,0.12850960238956527,0.0,0.0,0.14347744066047818,0.0,0.30894539887844513,0.0,0.0,0.0974076663002662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033611624666533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973262562344812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052933883164456,0.0,0.1456529043360306,0.12832382348861232,0.0,0.0,0.16258047101769282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929049804238365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944237242048804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784683245263713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930983257142749,0.14941735605441964,0.0,0.15602367394138286,0.0,0.1241059687237437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160559965529143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278016895579254,0.0,0.16947927729765147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539311533638571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358394170731192
mentalhealth,harvest_was_here,2019/03/21,"What the hell is wrong with my head This might be a long post so bear with me, I’ve always struggled with anxiety (as I’m sure a lot of teenagers do) sometimes to the point of acid reflux and intense dread. But lately things have been getting a lot worse, I’ve used drugs for a while to patch up my problems and self medicate, it started with weed and concentrates but once I got suspended from school for (allegedly) dealing I started doing kratom pretty regularly but I’m clean as of now. I think the mushrooms are what triggered my current state, I tripped three times in one month and ever since then reality seems very detached and unfamiliar. In moments where there’s no audio stimuli I hear a sharp tone, almost like a broken light bulb, I add this in because my concern is that I have developing schizophrenia, I find my thoughts becoming more and more paranoid but my counselor thinks psychosis or over reaction is more likely. I’m fourteen by the way, and as far as I know one of my half brothers has schizophrenia which is concerning as well. ",6.837747068676713,7.352697929648241,6.294585427135679,79.47025335008375,64.678391959799,9.045393634840867,35.678810720268004,8.841846274778883,3.010698157453936,844,38,154,12,12,260,134,199,0.146,0.7759999999999999,0.078,-0.8978,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,6,9,1,2,10,0,13,3,1,2,2,32,27,20,0,1,5,1,1,2,0,1,2,2,1,1,8,12,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,5,1,4,3,5,17,4,24,22,5,24,1,0,0,0,4,8,1,6,14,102,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516086478752325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597976823521875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582319648477693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229411524860068,0.16721317442303907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609027063290518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557989160056742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695305500734198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383799765171423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910203431234239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109114028792435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538358155547893,0.0,0.17064265004095894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320735620694575,0.0,0.17078964445749018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793611975506096,0.0,0.0,0.13398725605860898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25743553487758963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525230100836255,0.0,0.16061509503951424,0.0,0.0,0.12084875973071894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612396935013439,0.20518974190975356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312516313004406,0.0,0.14500261782141088,0.15403170146286418,0.0,0.14487261869982807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322833693116453,0.0,0.1378319808201628,0.15794677954708228,0.0,0.0,0.1252424677383057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497418467664943,0.0,0.21432822988686845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827972040341168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426959249040487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058570001453523,0.19402638721185891,0.0,0.12019739794387707,0.08828454763552898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307639372296123,0.0,0.12492367191827562,0.0,0.12017698193783805,0.0,0.0,0.1361298510461572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542930125346894,0.0,0.16553586433685802,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nebulaeandstars,2019/03/21,"My brain is becoming more and more ‘backwards’? and I don’t know what to do, how to fix it, or if it’s even bad This is probably going to be a rambly mess but I need to know if this is normal

Over the past 10 years or so my thinking has become more and more backwards or upside-down compared to everyone around me.  Usually this isn’t a problem but I’ve recently been losing marks because of it.  

I’m a musician.  When learning a new piece, instead of learning the notes, figuring out interpretation, then memorising, I memorise, decide on my interpretation, then learn the notes last.  When analysing a piece in theory, you’re supposed to piece together fragments to form a larger picture but I simply can’t do it.  I see the picture immediately, but I have to drill down and break it apart to see the fragments.  This is where I’m losing marks.  We’re being asked to show our working, but the format doesn’t fit.  My answers are consistently at the top of the class, but I lose time in exams trying to find each individual starting point.  I’m backwards.  My lecturer tried to tell me that this was a really good thing, and that it would ‘help in the real world’, which definitely felt reassuring but it won’t matter if I can’t do well in the class.

It doesn’t just affect my academic life, though.  This only started a few years ago, but I can barely hold a normal conversation without panicking.  I’m still struggling with some some fairly crippling anxiety, so I know this is to be expected, but it’s the reason why that I’m worried about.  I can have a deep, heart-to-heart conversation with a complete stranger and be completely comfortable, but I can’t talk about the weather or my/their interests without feeling completely exposed, even with a friend.  It doesn’t make any sense, and not even my psychologist knows why that happens.  Again, I’m backwards.

I could give more examples, but then this would be even more like a rant rather than something vaguely constructive.  Has anyone else been like this?  How do I start being more like everyone else?",5.719153846153848,6.7562429153846155,6.2656410256410275,76.85769230769233,67.28205128205127,9.487179487179487,31.92307692307693,9.661875296680813,2.999461538461538,1627,66,300,34,26,529,197,390,0.08,0.7959999999999999,0.124,0.9594,0,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,1,0,0,5,21,16,0,1,25,0,37,2,1,5,0,70,61,35,0,12,23,0,2,3,1,3,1,0,0,0,26,13,0,1,17,1,0,1,12,7,1,0,4,4,24,9,34,47,15,42,0,3,2,0,10,21,0,9,22,208,50,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452443350902482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484311975457772,0.0,0.0729445702248996,0.0,0.0,0.06667283926610708,0.0977001304613372,0.0,0.08488413723558483,0.08914192203827777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961553876911094,0.058126133412156236,0.210619176717902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064451711660264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999265399893938,0.0,0.0,0.07613138843353667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593099252426446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519182905076632,0.0,0.0,0.18222722146325052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04821320053613597,0.0,0.0915535650264015,0.0,0.0871506591177644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366927536026308,0.0,0.0,0.09147101818061333,0.05419114848991772,0.07997733801379486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432009587057207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259868659020775,0.06391291863209479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20961344608939467,0.07772519380209246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735044643575537,0.13975356841870426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200259120249465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364868138966427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070283407403506,0.0,0.09209225168257933,0.0,0.0,0.18685084166876306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252004073246994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102496114523644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013914163784886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280636017021776,0.09123967589517924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085322713471764,0.06108539442695229,0.09803847769323636,0.09414930810007187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196754583172092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340718278782565,0.0,0.0,0.2024734391381084,0.0,0.07614880579920857,0.0,0.0,0.09968336680866532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766409048770521,0.08334248059744065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334811057727373,0.06109817315100265,0.09368356380306156,0.0,0.055600938155939715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947647626591524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501755034920933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573354717115463,0.0,0.1720819982495071,0.0,0.0,0.1838332398708412,0.0,0.06941791620203583,0.09683531624444644,0.0,0.13547167374364513,0.0,0.0,0.12280805153821413
mentalhealth,DREWK789,2019/03/21,"Claims to be open and supporting when someones having mental health struggles... reality different. So I'm on my phone so bare with me with typos.

A family member posted recently a suicide awareness post - the kind to say hey I support and would listen if someone I knew was struggling and needed help...

I have no problem with these kind of posts, but this particular person doesn't care. And that's whats infuriated me. 

I am their family member who has made attempts, I was told to shut up and not talk about it ever to anyone. The discussions of feeling sucidal or having sucidal thoughts was banned in the house or around other family members. 

I just find this hypocrisy so insulting. They've just jumped on the band wagon of sharing the post when in reality when their own family has attempted and others have succeeded in our family they've been silent and unwilling to help. Even going as far to discourage telling others. 

Rant over haha",6.4424373795761065,7.943470849710982,6.948106936416185,70.92578275529867,65.93641618497111,10.390944123314066,31.75770712909441,10.504223727775694,3.696680539499036,759,30,123,20,12,248,117,173,0.16899999999999998,0.706,0.125,-0.8914,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,1,0,2,3,12,13,1,2,7,1,14,1,0,1,1,30,26,18,1,4,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,10,12,0,2,4,1,0,2,3,5,0,0,8,3,12,8,22,16,1,22,0,1,0,0,18,11,0,3,5,89,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108333360535848,0.0,0.0,0.10323077422585103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823099760290393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115561913801685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659181390565192,0.10489427694662966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5465933131130593,0.0,0.05863387649730456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598717626181522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590388259795006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326219394467715,0.0,0.0,0.15545378178525132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380459012034274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24151317728804164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972605765512324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686243146987277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598436102575807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125355422172026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442382026725865,0.0,0.0,0.11095998250691506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114498495060679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221764468342912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19650846943281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424573416947948,0.0,0.1268436174852379,0.2631846293497427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320587103182776,0.10135590792539778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206088281501558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080666994628352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237608475312219,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LupusDaemonis,2019/03/21,"Games and Mental health   
Hey guys! It's the following: I'm aiming to make an article relating the benefits of games to mental health. The course supervisor is requesting a record of an article from a weekly magazine related to the subject that has a valid ISSN. But so far I have found none.  Has anyone ever worked with something relating? Could you endorse any article / magazine that meets these requirements (ISSN)?  Thank you in advance.",4.975097402597402,8.080873441558442,5.6338798701298725,71.81367694805195,74.32467532467533,10.603246753246754,31.70292207792208,10.411451182825502,4.5714428571428565,353,17,54,13,8,114,56,77,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.7936,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,3,2,2,0,0,9,0,5,2,0,1,1,8,10,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,8,8,1,6,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,2,34,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879553227144287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355854305847765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981804435357319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245257696314843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721562589249392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457730691571369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5276844412774832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165686245421364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5002871106138617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19108896268587355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22852413425602466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991040688664056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070435473872834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GreenCray0n,2019/03/21,"Escitalopram and the libido? I started taking Escitalophram today for my depression (was previously on St. John's wort, but it stopped working, so my doctor gave me new meds).

I am reading that one not so uncommon side effect can be a lack of sex drive. That terrifies me. Thanks to my depression my libido is already at a low point and I noticed that my relationship is starting to suffer. My boyfriend and I still hug and cuddle and kiss a lot, but he told me last night that he is feeling touch starved despite of that. Which, you know, is not helpful with my depression either. I should mention that I have some trauma based on that, due to growing up believing that I can only keep a boyfriend if I can keep him sexually satisfied. I know better *now,* but still. 

I could use a pick-me-up... ",3.720956477732795,5.768357401315793,4.884473684210526,80.86862348178141,73.67105263157895,7.8348178137651825,29.455465587044536,8.617729084823388,2.3944275303643723,623,27,117,12,13,205,97,152,0.23,0.642,0.128,-0.9666,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,3,5,10,0,0,6,0,13,5,0,2,0,26,25,11,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,6,0,3,4,1,0,2,2,6,0,1,3,2,22,4,11,19,4,20,0,5,0,4,9,7,0,3,11,83,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322552142098056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870663951114431,0.0,0.14684588353292252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325667178776758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4290212515282954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699454999020623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08395309589071198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112908358480355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951619253466801,0.0,0.0,0.18249875079684866,0.13534199297763952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115838330757124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442923691722396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035918690990916,0.0,0.15581410534952045,0.0,0.0,0.1890337742870785,0.0,0.0,0.11251070002069093,0.12627831933804512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569582586776614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608153599476053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782611753729121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23504312598017735,0.0,0.26519409307551106,0.1388140356810395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248388627966565,0.0,0.0,0.1528641973631288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738328656625594,0.15865509059013794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340231610248966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087662529424754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,geope0,2019/03/21,"How do I tell my parents I have been diagnosed with depression? I have finally sought help for my mental health, and have been diagnosed with depression. How do I even start the conversation with my parents? ",5.995315315315317,8.3390142972973,6.122702702702704,73.13288288288291,68.18918918918922,11.41981981981982,33.954954954954964,11.20814326018867,4.6547009009009015,167,8,28,6,3,53,22,37,0.192,0.741,0.067,-0.7236,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,2,0,6,8,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,7,0,4,6,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41159375692936667,0.4850339138859217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781624121646418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26174480973474845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25397983335929697,0.0,0.0,0.1601550496927351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24079322232412895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5306245625968873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16912148801134008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088422717546836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SmiggleGod,2019/03/21,"I think I have depersonalization, I don’t know what to do and I don’t know who I can talk to I feel like an observer of my life, like when you let your friend play a game and you watch from behind, I still feel somewhat conscious but I don’t feel like I’m actually controlling my actions. I don’t know who I can talk to and it’s really scary. It began recently when I greened out after smoking weed and a tiny bit before. What do I do",0.35627659574467785,2.381710797872344,2.8887659574468114,91.09400000000002,84.63829787234042,6.313191489361702,20.038297872340426,7.554174236665415,0.5285948936170208,341,10,80,6,10,118,53,94,0.057,0.816,0.127,0.4235,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,1,3,5,0,0,3,0,11,1,0,1,0,16,20,7,0,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,8,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,5,17,5,8,18,2,8,0,0,2,0,9,1,0,1,9,54,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.215560452502206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18796432631341592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24115878282513695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477511429206569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.335071577471505,0.3156131028838273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706619766070423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641923127866713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22587884299776334,0.15602380039552613,0.3237526106723255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151020359225175,0.0,0.2181059463116498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640604784567454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35509208557588584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153980673812613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pinkdolly28,2019/03/21,how do I help the one I love who wants to commit suicide? My S.O's last attempt was 28th of December 2018. ,1.3169565217391297,2.8449817826086985,3.2602173913043515,92.17119565217396,79.0,6.339130434782609,24.54347826086957,7.1686216300943375,0.8795391304347824,83,3,19,1,2,28,22,23,0.152,0.541,0.307,0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,2,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,3,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380316317383904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110839349919828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551638665112214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417368126155021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5516386221258616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974579809667605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,forever_broken19,2019/03/21,"Dear anyone suffering from mental illness: You ARE worthy. Just because you HAVE a mental illness, it doesn’t define YOU as a person. 

(For example: you HAVE bipolar disorder - you are NOT “bipolar”) — using the term ‘bipolar’ as an adjective is part of the stigma. 

All of that is the stigma. Most people do not understand mental health, so try to cover your ears/eyes/mind/heart from all the negativity from ignorance. 

Our country (USA) has a FAILING mental health system. It fails those who truly want help, but it helps those who do not. 

I am praying that, one day, we find a solution to this growing issue. 

I pray that YOU get whatever help you need so that YOU can live a healthy, happy, and PEACEFUL life. 

We (as a human race) should be lifting each other up instead of running over each other. 

I pray for peace in this ugly and cruel world. 

Hang in there, folks. We can fight this stigma🙏🏼 ",3.947371090448012,5.893839041420119,4.8977387996618775,81.44877218934913,72.7869822485207,6.958748943364327,26.272612003381234,7.7094869923839395,1.6357688926458152,694,24,123,9,14,226,109,169,0.155,0.623,0.222,0.94,0,0,0,0,1,0,32.0,4,9,0,2,5,8,2,0,11,0,15,8,0,1,2,22,20,8,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,2,16,7,0,1,2,0,0,3,5,6,0,1,0,0,16,2,17,18,7,11,3,3,0,0,21,5,0,1,2,94,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987386528157346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578927524558864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134038499315567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800926505653079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362039901866444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209761279818803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727529082411638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33405863053695706,0.0,0.18620813762278265,0.3159769175349073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401023426728886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099053167363472,0.0,0.0,0.13875487673709738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6334286705227108,0.0,0.15866360598346008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651511697395205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648011854505897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17016409104369154,0.0,0.10893903148994977,0.13720599389740154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668572890374713,0.0,0.0,0.16358519039326094,0.0,0.13571594182083144,0.0,0.0,0.09268349181670152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,calender21,2019/03/21,"Headache since been told I could have adjustment disorder Well the headache has been constant for 7 hrs ever since this doc (a General Practitioner) suspects me having adjustment disorder. (Pain scale, roughly 3.5/10.) I'm getting stressed out now because of this diagnosis. 

​

I'm very aware of my own body and i'm certain I do not have this disorder lol. I've experienced a burnout before so I know what it's like to be depressed and feel physically drained. Similar to a fever kind of body weakness. 

​

So, my main problem and question is,

I've been feeling low energy and frequently getting [the bonk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitting_the_wall). Always, as a result from during or after some physical work.

How is this disorder link to the fatigue. How does a mental problem result physically?

I never felt any form of headache/body ache/weaknesses nothing of such sort. Just literally low energy. 

Sleep? A physically weak body? > how are these factors not considered? 

Thanks for reading, my headache is getting worse trying to explain... I need a break.",5.098720355731224,8.558922972826089,4.922905138339921,74.66438735177867,77.42391304347825,8.12806324110672,34.99407114624506,8.841846274778883,4.016171739130435,873,49,128,22,22,269,119,184,0.23,0.6940000000000001,0.076,-0.9826,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,0,2,10,15,0,1,10,1,14,9,4,5,3,34,28,11,0,4,4,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,10,1,0,0,3,10,1,0,5,5,9,5,15,21,4,10,0,4,0,0,3,3,0,4,7,77,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764361948648243,0.22825164102793635,0.25597677358745,0.07162851999697216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06420864580880033,0.0,0.08962870783571865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679948597988159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382511821939405,0.0,0.08409803074633618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907212181646538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4828726465783938,0.0,0.09217564662915058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527769108261636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651678117251112,0.0,0.1011340353164412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650929040351931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968576440895401,0.05788702398834105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145928258857757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614861905588187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781014143594949,0.08123756562504106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010676926619186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207934132140747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015745995600012,0.0,0.0,0.1179945428650339,0.0,0.10535925113099727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742613649758324,0.0,0.10540681574080944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065601496760812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697440032965683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006480427374227,0.0,0.07151266321278342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690889751453516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470499138849454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668203839736801,0.0,0.10734102998796408,0.0,0.0,0.25597677358745,0.0
mentalhealth,1d3kanym0re,2019/03/21,Are there cases where sending a suicidal person to a mental hospital could make things worse? I'm wondering if there are cases where sending a suicidal person to a mental hospital could actually make things worse or cause them to want to commit even more. ,11.469782608695652,9.627767717391306,10.823478260869567,58.429130434782635,56.60869565217392,14.417391304347825,40.39130434782609,13.023866798666859,5.546469565217391,209,8,31,6,2,68,27,46,0.28300000000000003,0.652,0.065,-0.9287,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,3,1,10,9,2,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,0,23,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.19095015986430008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010116906843744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124604536411439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292412120548089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612285979525679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943878990891447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34171098463844524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280724539414252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599949872917978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541393472976458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122007308481408,0.0,0.0,0.3988182199594262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,palmettofoxes,2019/03/21,"Anxiety Over Dying I used to be able to fly on planes without a second thought, even finding it exhilarating. But now I've started to get panic attacks and soul shaking fear thinking about upcoming flights, freak accidents, or shootings.

I think it's related to my relationship, I love my SO so much and I couldn't bear leaving them because I know they would be devastated, as would I. It might also because it's a long distance relationship and I hardly get to see them.

 I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?",4.303979591836736,6.263287510204084,5.442602040816325,77.86043367346939,71.85714285714286,8.16530612244898,34.69897959183673,8.841846274778883,3.195240816326532,408,22,74,8,8,135,68,98,0.214,0.7190000000000001,0.067,-0.9201,0,0,0,1,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,0,6,6,1,3,2,0,8,1,0,1,0,18,20,9,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,2,2,13,1,11,12,1,6,1,0,1,1,6,2,0,2,3,51,18,0,0.17803228228018814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237235181817448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106805693762085,0.0,0.13619420864855852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20253742266847294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21705365368420204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18476940133438569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758864338362095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20033581348593416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271828067735444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18602903895985226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948195581905214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956837727895578,0.0,0.0,0.1885104811024733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755296746876146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16068108560224462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18886411729100186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308742121328822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20888252405769986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822800888944474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186867906002024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601216572504526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281517957133146,0.0,0.2826754914631251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376273053470396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716167670212928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25293805067225417,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShadowOfTehWolf,2019/03/21,What is life? I've been struggling with my mental health since i was 5 years old. I struggle to get out of bed on the morning and force myself to go to work and pretend I'm happy so i don't lose my job. I've been having increasing dark thoughts such as suicide and cutting my arms and wrists open. I have been getting help from various psychologists and a support worker. I've been diagnosed with dysthemia and borderline personality disorder and it makes me feel like a freak and a worthless human being. Not sure how to carry on anymore. If anyone has advice or anything I'd appreciate it. ,4.413236714975844,6.170010826086964,5.502898550724641,78.36816425120776,71.17391304347827,7.893719806763285,31.038647342995173,8.515128840125781,2.559009661835749,475,21,85,8,9,157,85,115,0.183,0.684,0.134,-0.628,1,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,3,3,10,1,2,4,0,11,5,2,2,1,20,19,13,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,2,3,12,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,6,0,0,6,1,9,4,12,12,2,8,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,2,3,54,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18931448818155905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213193369532372,0.13546322115232218,0.0,0.15942646159042131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966357923073581,0.0,0.0,0.22203579066702347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795766189918233,0.1384035100345463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20243589410563415,0.0,0.11010341862131827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062332990302695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20593003636624976,0.0,0.0,0.1298557242566842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922509648429281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683995642993807,0.09464857931113024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167386368637153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931885754451106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19523816664532515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329109908373655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916093601619128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16025865299803044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050653942999157,0.0,0.21191340122734925,0.21984689124288825,0.18259187260038826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380304649221185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410405592129931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247582555949715
mentalhealth,teethingcats,2019/03/21,"Night anxiety and nightmares. Does anyone else experience a lot of anxiety late at night? I find my health anxiety is especially bad once 2 am hits. I’ll spend the entire night obsessing over cancer and the pains in my body. 

I also have really bad nightmares pretty regularly. I’m starting to think it’s related to my anxiety or maybe my depression. The one I just had was a violent and graphic fight to the death with my mother. I woke up very disturbed and I can’t get rid of this unsettling feeling. ",3.47868270332188,5.822026742268044,5.4009621993127155,75.53679266895764,75.39175257731958,9.671935853379154,29.33447880870561,9.994966539143718,3.4999310423825896,402,18,72,13,9,138,70,97,0.35700000000000004,0.6,0.043,-0.9872,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,2,2,6,0,6,4,1,0,0,12,13,6,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,8,0,1,3,1,10,0,10,9,1,9,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,3,5,43,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987500531014134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4969567010884778,0.0,0.0,0.1135571645419634,0.166402839787404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712023347323358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039504545501625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987895748754609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212147518593926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566831406220964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15886299068222046,0.0,0.0,0.08211671209208342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843498261528856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848497693344527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262863546910315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18319961127308332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380706952908712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16315738172859678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4572175174645707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729557390031901,0.11004964930542824,0.0,0.17281008497345662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522399775094085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404062977378548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114950905029536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406239449365637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400091209821946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,healthychonk,2019/03/21,How do i tell my mum i want to see a therapist? My mother and I have a good relationship but whenever I want to ask her if I could see a therapist I just say what I want to say in my head and repeat it over and over untill I  just leave. How do I stop this and just ask?,-1.4280414746543784,0.3001394677419356,1.9481566820276512,96.8708064516129,89.80645161290323,6.123502304147466,15.308755760368664,7.447530270364453,-0.20973087557603654,205,4,55,4,7,74,34,62,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.117,-0.1179,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,4,1,1,2,0,16,11,9,0,5,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,13,1,7,10,0,6,0,0,2,0,9,3,0,1,3,41,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38801437712950093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16569125158844036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740615205748694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21297978256683314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197382489268915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228034134813424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300632745636848,0.0,0.0,0.3307399666257708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17349959083438315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18138536817479328,0.0,0.0,0.4819033692255493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672095922529222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ResearchStudent93,2019/03/21,"Take part in this study: Studying the impact of depression on quality of life for adults with Autism (18+) Calling all adults (18 years and over) with ASD!

I am a Master’s student and as part of my dissertation project I am conducting a study on the impact of depression on quality of life for autistic adults. This will involve completing an online survey which will take approximately 30 minutes.

If you are interested in taking part, please follow this link where you will find the requirements and a link to the survey: [https://www.callforparticipants.com/study/9V95V/studying-the-impact-of-depression-on-quality-of-life-for-adults-with-autism](https://www.callforparticipants.com/study/9V95V/studying-the-impact-of-depression-on-quality-of-life-for-adults-with-autism)

Those who have an additional diagnosis of depression are encouraged to take part. However, individuals with comorbid intellectual disability or any physical disabilities are not suitable for participation.

For more details about my study, please do not hesitate to message or email me at [lilian.u.17@ucl.ac.uk](mailto:lilian.u.17@ucl.ac.uk)

Thank you!",19.390576923076924,22.34603186013986,13.165865384615385,32.50725961538464,38.09090909090909,14.143006993006992,42.35052447552448,13.22790407523584,6.3614622377622405,968,35,101,25,8,264,89,143,0.07200000000000001,0.812,0.116,0.5991,1,0,0,0,0,0,75.0,0,3,0,2,2,6,0,0,9,0,10,2,0,0,1,17,16,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,6,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,8,3,25,13,6,10,0,3,0,0,12,8,0,3,1,73,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431399593642636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161805661456806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454138880673309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35836063351680986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267602012518751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918435606121431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6007512741623163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044800736572285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171106564065146,0.0,0.0,0.1276871726375926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931185079908092
mentalhealth,sweet_autumn_goat,2019/03/21,"How do I help my sister? My sister (17) has been feeling depressed and suicidal as of late, and I don't know how to help her. She's talked to me about it a couple of times and apparently her teachers are noticing. For the past year, they've consistently pulled her aside to ask if anything is wrong. She's also behind on schoolwork because she doesn't feel motivated to do it. As a result, she stays up late and gets very little sleep because she needs to catch up on her work. Recently, it reached a breaking point because one of her teachers notified the school admin. and she was pulled aside again. She's really angry that they're trying to interfere. The problem is that she's past the point of caring: she doesn't want a therapist. I think she's given up because she's tried asking our parents for one and time and again they've forgotten or tried rationalizing against what she's feeling. She doesn't even feel comfortable telling them that every day she thinks of killing herself. She's insisted that I don't tell them about this, but as her sister, I really think I should. I'm unsure as to what I should do, but I really want to help her. Any advice?",5.278552631578949,6.107323083333334,5.6572982456140375,81.5754210526316,68.16666666666666,8.71157894736842,29.23508771929824,8.841846274778883,2.178238245614035,925,32,180,15,15,296,115,228,0.111,0.8290000000000001,0.06,-0.8439,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,2,2,8,6,1,0,8,0,16,1,1,4,0,30,33,18,2,7,4,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,1,9,0,0,3,5,4,0,2,3,4,37,2,28,28,0,24,0,1,0,0,38,8,0,2,11,118,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412553464888005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339667392424528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942099496175846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610796479948594,0.0,0.21836519180074504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847756472141336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907487388815255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922557202946294,0.0,0.07531968910758731,0.0,0.10059078996863446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713848962276157,0.0,0.09840035200420247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23620950820154696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101779337874263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23484500473834125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921048957254952,0.0,0.06418456001497122,0.0,0.26348771753674144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705395241857805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659807624970975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296583760281858,0.0,0.0,0.15827943470896702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296811310418924,0.0,0.22297795071773105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22080801605389835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175196176571894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22445540042099105,0.0,0.11531573052885027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118197402682668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687403540153705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448227154503805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774896652991444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387112993858143,0.20415867579111951,0.0,0.0,0.1356018331444986,0.0,0.22450235523974105,0.0,0.0,0.13620201637013873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378776023139032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636372651460136,0.13777117167082098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502428621270093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769119346532354,0.0,0.07520873208596128
mentalhealth,ijbgtrdzaq,2019/03/21,"For several weeks I have been feeling very not okay; anxious, insecure, and afraid I'm losing my mind. I am scared. A month or so ago I experienced a major drop in functionality, and an emergence of a general feeling of dread and unease within myself. Perhaps just depression, which I am prone to, but I also feel like I'm less _present_, like my mind's running a very dysfunctional autopilot. And there's an unhealthy obsessive element too – I have found myself inexplicably preoccupied with my toxic ex, who _I_ ended it with and had felt comfortably over for _months_ – to the extent of now compulsively stalking him online, despite knowing how unhealthy and crazy that is. 

I worry it is something more – am I losing the plot? Life feels abruptly hard and scary, I feel hopeless and suicidal, intense loneliness, no optimism or outgoingness, nothing feels good or exciting, and I can barely compel myself to get out of bed. I have been eating terribly. Waking up feels absolutely awful, as I regain consciousness and rediscover the intense unpleasantness of this reality I'm in. Doing a lot of believing I'm doomed to a life of lonely, painful insanity, and wishing I were dead. I have been passing the time aimlessly reading Reddit/playing shitty simple games to avoid just being alone with my own mind, hoping I miraculously resume feeling how I did just a couple of months ago. I booked in with my psychiatrist for a week from now. I don't know what to do with myself. This feels terrible and scary, and I want it to stop. 

Just wanted to shout into the void to feel a little less alone – if anyone has any tips or insights feel free to share.

Thanks for reading!",7.124674309536218,8.036702283828383,7.725843321174223,68.07614382490885,64.11551155115512,10.471356609345143,34.75924960917144,10.426177893888326,3.901499009900992,1324,57,214,31,19,439,177,303,0.31,0.564,0.126,-0.9974,0,5,1,0,0,1,36.0,0,0,0,2,12,27,0,7,16,2,21,5,1,3,0,62,46,24,2,5,11,1,13,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,9,20,1,2,17,4,1,2,3,16,0,0,8,15,30,12,37,37,7,26,1,6,0,0,5,9,0,7,16,151,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17858163982663766,0.0,0.0,0.2086512247605876,0.0,0.08055352142826731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849966439592367,0.0,0.0,0.11379591306613752,0.0,0.07043256295097179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348790148962777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145552028971316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675836102897076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307165170507733,0.0,0.0,0.089216634571274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5602517083610989,0.07196133275306019,0.09671632861428044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044493979632683,0.0,0.0,0.052627121715564336,0.0,0.0,0.08448731081970401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023404461210877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004734116573226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071684061733407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229676163720298,0.098422907175007,0.10095764301051367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253815840927943,0.0,0.08563680659854024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30512490994523245,0.0,0.2412045066658112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665288391976316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718352503384307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015139596290481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084802308430058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379591306613752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754666037426887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421455706869402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018196559283544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927383935596916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058736310316276824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662251380600084,0.1188259984331412,0.0,0.16159861240022946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158342078963967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022959211327804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,biancaberkeleyyy,2019/03/21,"I think i've become an attention whore and it's making me miserable This is my first reddit post ever so please bear with me.

I'm a 19(F) in my freshman year of college and i'm just a mess. I don't even know where to begin.

>A lil background info- So all of my life I think i have been at least somewhat boy crazy. I grew up homeschooled and remember having the biggest crushes and occasionally infatuations on boys who were subpar and would never notice me. Eventually i went to high school and started hanging out with the pretty girls even though i wasn't pretty at all and i would always be jealous of all of the attention they got and longed for a boyfriend but no one at my school thought of me like that. Anyway summer after senior year i lost a bunch of weight learned how to do my hair and makeup lost my virginity and was finally getting male attention for the first time in my life.Exciting times! I moved away from my teeny tiny town to a college of 50,000 undergrads at the end of the summer and i think i might be experiencing culture shock. Last semester i was so overwhelmed by the vast amount of attractive boys everywhere that brought my number to double digits in 4 months. There have been three occassions where i've gone out and partied and ended up sleeping with 2 men in one night. I don't even know what comes over me. And my whole identity has started to become based on me being pretty. Like everywhere i go if there is a cute boy walking past me i want them to stare at me and if they don't i'm dissapointed or if there is a cute guy who seems into me in class i do my best to flirt with them and find out. I can't tell if i am an attention whore or just a flirt??/ but often times knowing i get to see a cute guy in class on a bad day is what gets me out of bed. That's pathetic isn't it. But i don't even know what i want from these men because i recently realized that my eye wanders too much to be  commited to someone. I don't want someone who holds me down but i DO want love. i want the guys i hookup with to care about me and care that i make it home safe. Not just see me as a toy  if that makes any sense. This semester i have been trying to balance my life so i take breaks from sex for weeks at a time but whenever i dip my toe in i fall all the way back in and start sleeping around. Is there a part of me missing something?? I don't even understand my own actions and this week i've gotten to an all time low. I had multiple panic attacks today and one literally started just because this guy i have been fw was treating me differently over text. I would like to change. I just do not get it because i am confident in myself appearance wise. I thought i had a lot of self love. Maybe i don't and its just a facade. But my life feels as though it is entirely falling apart this week. I feel a sadness different than i have ever experienced in my life this week. And the worst part of that is last week i felt so calm and happy all week with where my life was going. I had real suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life today and i don't know where to go from here. I'm ok right now but i am moderately bipolar so i could have another melt down in 5 minutes. I am beginning to feel like i  have let my life, actions, clothing everything i do revolve around male approval and attention and i hate it. I don't know why i'm like this or if there is anything i could do to change it. 

​",2.8116114005209383,4.190765601683033,4.1710476357443405,87.83557766479666,74.6100981767181,7.449098377078742,25.63536866359447,8.07648339933343,1.3704762772991383,2706,92,588,42,56,894,297,713,0.102,0.748,0.149,0.9877,2,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,4,7,40,39,3,3,30,1,62,20,5,4,10,124,124,53,1,16,24,0,6,5,0,4,8,0,2,14,29,40,1,2,28,1,0,16,16,17,0,7,24,12,94,22,86,89,19,110,0,7,4,6,25,46,0,15,50,409,123,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048177672046254526,0.06273493022021631,0.07035517885735297,0.03937417653209716,0.06071349299590036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047646997799229714,0.10308705123808376,0.0,0.06586992833802015,0.0543992199144137,0.044521742080473735,0.04834431609795721,0.10588642157074332,0.1278926226332622,0.0,0.0,0.060762772694893975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806639056251675,0.0,0.12250163988632826,0.04987596519826938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245732590169244,0.0,0.0,0.03734089124283562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098694029493065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256492641788732,0.0,0.0,0.1912129474887852,0.10474823794812838,0.0,0.0,0.052037039087331184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782836527324245,0.04136397228060856,0.05559334968977765,0.06342692763873932,0.05291980783742635,0.14774984819632733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210020282042786,0.0,0.09871819193131012,0.0,0.046308143968054265,0.0,0.0,0.2293215248438331,0.0,0.06163592572397356,0.0,0.05716454030718635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061174825771028424,0.05807870269446831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909228811259284,0.09439291364567633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920696013672496,0.3271734460049352,0.14143576308315284,0.0,0.0,0.051239926626286535,0.0,0.0,0.12640999266313369,0.04922474833112673,0.10451452827283016,0.0,0.11594666141406268,0.0,0.058168614542254436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142304818376763,0.0,0.0,0.046215451854399736,0.061538835503620125,0.042563368590893484,0.0,0.044656266108714884,0.0,0.0,0.05433549140016556,0.0,0.0,0.06591985362349613,0.0,0.0,0.11770418653088277,0.0,0.0,0.06793350438386518,0.0,0.12540072385806714,0.055272369721335035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355712135644627,0.0,0.0,0.055452464035374766,0.17671620376254704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590319570722855,0.0,0.0,0.05716954229743593,0.0,0.06558973133257258,0.04944652357062202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171963509423076,0.09227805508702903,0.05271024119556253,0.06040262061423676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588419168343302,0.0,0.09811744031299063,0.044574465028076035,0.0,0.0,0.1639284674736704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333350976481461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04353380549648071,0.0,0.05060739760959517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113004863680876,0.11377346411767365,0.13789906665349094,0.20257271666645552,0.0,0.10976539247930046,0.0,0.0,0.03931049009165023,0.0,0.0,0.060276234433349216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707554292480454,0.04595854798287534,0.27866467732799083,0.07050694377213787,0.0,0.05367414051991717,0.0522459977459196,0.06464359594385131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339209504269072,0.0,0.07035517885735297,0.07457176519467447
mentalhealth,Jayrox90,2019/03/21,"Half the world away... Hello reddit, I don't really know how to start this or where it's going but here it goes... I'm a 29 year old guy and over the past few years my mental health has deteriorated, I used to be outgoing and had a lot of friends whereas now I have become quite introverted and don't talk to my friends very often (some of whom I have completely lost touch with).  I used to play sports and have other hobbies but now I have lost interest. I went through a rough patch years ago and turned to drugs and alcohol to get through, those days are behind me now although I still occaisionaly smoke a bit of pot and drink very rarely, nowhere near to the extent which I used to.

I moved to the other side of the world with my partner 2 years ago hoping for a new start and to make some money with the intent of one day returning home. I work 6 days a week but I hate my job. I feel like I need a career change but if I was to do so I would have to leave the country as part of my visa conditions stiputlates I have to work in my qualified field to remain in the country. 

 I recently returned home for the first time since I emigrated and it really made me realise just how low I'm feeling and how much I miss my family. I was due to go back to work on Tuesday but I've just lay in bed the whole time instead. Part of me wants to just pack up all my stuff and move home with nothing to show for the last 2 years (we have very little saved). 

The past few nights have been really tough and I can't remember ever crying so much, I feel like I'm at a major crossroads in my life and have no clue what to do.

Sorry if this is a bit all over the place I could go on for days, I have never opened up to anyone about this and felt like I needed to vent, thanks for reading.",4.436550802139037,4.138753136363636,5.30096256684492,87.33614973262033,69.77540106951872,8.618181818181819,25.823529411764717,8.150884317080207,1.2022395721925134,1379,33,319,17,22,452,194,374,0.065,0.826,0.109,0.961,1,1,4,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,0,7,19,16,1,0,22,0,25,5,0,9,4,61,55,29,0,8,11,0,6,3,3,1,4,0,4,2,13,20,2,0,6,5,2,6,5,6,0,3,9,6,39,10,55,43,16,62,0,4,0,0,8,21,0,8,38,212,52,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503725431277891,0.0906449271274316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930690086745372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968954913395293,0.0652200079088088,0.0,0.0,0.09367510647430292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851991485905632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972647462656702,0.0,0.08893033390340753,0.0,0.0,0.0677204804299465,0.0,0.09316887797634882,0.21880304843217802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308960604629048,0.0983622558281122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672297385693433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995910871988868,0.0,0.12865998521317676,0.1211883665470591,0.08143883273684087,0.0,0.0,0.0721463702720954,0.0,0.0,0.13106075753966848,0.0,0.04431404111613877,0.0,0.144612518685047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839834144233454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374047368135785,0.0,0.09015784615568292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552388971361387,0.08424367218751817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084169037297519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046613898570045637,0.06913820401927329,0.0,0.08981029259846837,0.0,0.0,0.05990964677837874,0.12431375533596575,0.08501018101533825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517830471098934,0.07210945316700076,0.0,0.08025709026224412,0.056616848465907116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547685856190951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18029677863864405,0.1247023636723821,0.12578333299234218,0.06541707248390907,0.08191800591242812,0.0,0.07959619307893225,0.0,0.08138540988737109,0.0,0.08900249793290996,0.0,0.0574750494007204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836998243916529,0.1619372568058198,0.0,0.0,0.08861703107478666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902146620536187,0.08484121496080765,0.0,0.16301025147298026,0.0,0.08374780110900089,0.0,0.09608255643983801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07016254275999052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494710006234104,0.12006960470893965,0.0,0.06773597354514371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709661732367847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817370608432878,0.0,0.07808925989645041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891642124885552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922579128077429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197672363780312,0.0,0.20995184694896246,0.050028008454385535,0.0,0.06803609356520125,0.0,0.0,0.07862737857112764,0.0,0.09469656041516157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18524611460692028,0.0,0.0,0.060252459723480374,0.0,0.0,0.27310089904947576
mentalhealth,worriedwife123,2019/03/21,"Fake therapist, need help Hi all

I’m just gonna go straight into it.... my husband and myself have been together for 10 years, like any couple we’ve faced our share of troubles but we have always been very close. We talk about everything and even when things have been tough we’ve always been on the same team.

We’ve had a significant trauma happen In the last month, and a week ago my husband called me up at work, said all kinds of cruel things to me and broke up with me. I cannot explain how out of character this is for him, he never shouts and he is never purposefully unkind. He has now moved out and I don’t know where he is. He is making alarming, reactive, decisions and I am worried about his decision making. We all do strange things in times of grief but this is something else, his mannerisms and way in which he’s been talking to me are a completely different person, it’s like an alien has replaced him and is piloting his human suit.

For the past year my husband has been getting guidance from a man who presents as a therapist. At first this massively helped him with communicating but in recent weeks some alarm bells have been ringing.

The type of ‘therapy’ he has been getting for the last year is called Human Givens.

My husband told me that part of his Human Givens therapy is being put into a meditative state and rehearing alternative reactions to stimuli that is troubling him.

When you look this ‘therapist’ up online his degrees and credentials are listed next to his name. But when you look closer his degrees are in chemical engineering, and not related to psychology at all. This seemed strange to me, that he would list them right next to his name as if they’re relevant.

So I did some digging on how one becomes a HG therapist. You get your ‘diploma’ by studying 3 levels of courses at a cost of £2-3k but there are fast-track options available to make learning quicker and less costly. The only reference material for this course are expensive books written by the founders themselves.

This diploma is not recognised by any independent bodies. If you google ‘registered therapist’ or ‘counselling accreditation’ it takes you to the BACP - an independent body that ensures anyone working with mental health is registered, working with best practices and is a accountable for their actions. The Human Givens Institute is not recognised by this or ANY OTHER independent body.
The HGI website boasts that they are associated with the NHS. But a quick google search reveals this PSA is a general register for chiropodists, aromatherapists etc. It is not specific to councelling or psychotherapy.

Anyone can change their careers and become a ‘therapist’ by fast tracking their way to a ‘diploma’ with two weeks practical study, and then practising independently out of their own home for £75 per hour.

All the other therapists and counsellors on the councelling directory website have 6+ years of study, degrees in the relevant field, and are accredited by independently bodies (BACP) and charge £30-50 from practises where they’re working alongside and accountable to other registered practitioners.

Lastly - if you google any iteration of ‘human givens’ the entire first page (and most of the second and third) is their own website, or their college website, or links to their books on amazon called things like ‘cure depression FAST’ there is NO independent reviews or negative mentions of human givens therapy. No books by outside sources, no videos. A couple of blog posts and a Wikipedia page that appears to have been written by the HGI.

These search results seem unusual because if you google any other type of therapy (CBT, transactional analysis) you get independent websites and discussions of the pros and cons of the therapy. HG has only glowing reviews, from the HGI website itself.

From what I have learned, this person is not a licensed therapist. He charges twice as much as other counsellors in our area, despite not having any relevant degrees or qualifications recognised by a body other than the one giving out the qualification. This makes him is more a life coach than a therapist.

He promised my husband when he started that results are typically seen in 4-10 sessions. He has been seeing him for a YEAR, and is increasingly dependent on his guidance and coaching. I have had a significant amount of counselling in the past and this seems at odds with anything I know about how it works. 

I am partly posting this because I believe the post will get taken down and I want to see how long it takes. Negative mentions of Human Givens on the internet are few and far between, I believe that they get them taken down.

If anyone else has any experience similar I would love to hear from you, I am beside myself with worry about my husband.",8.829810074728769,8.97070666161027,8.236795848953548,68.4856731795725,60.563593932322036,11.400968246480794,39.47091536532685,10.946050158932447,4.5303130117430905,3847,182,625,88,47,1214,370,857,0.081,0.868,0.051,-0.9833,1,0,1,0,0,0,82.0,5,10,11,10,21,20,1,2,48,0,69,9,6,19,7,125,115,62,1,9,25,6,0,3,0,4,2,4,1,10,42,48,0,0,13,8,5,7,15,12,0,8,26,10,68,8,108,84,23,89,0,3,6,1,92,40,0,21,39,441,110,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044997916637100524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447697659235866,0.0,0.0,0.24164180974086424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648301581109416,0.0520122069255122,0.04177323381168448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188872961657702,0.11212644394848237,0.0,0.11438396770255255,0.0532721394436121,0.0,0.0,0.2819286150564156,0.0,0.0,0.1555026445100717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053700021844493774,0.0,0.053223542918927065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233553943417404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04372168942947265,0.0,0.0,0.05303603562176752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481115386317062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056613635176227535,0.033528169799606995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04562208535829287,0.04965549118468125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635715770037249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591279487481293,0.04869604065861585,0.028849513460006707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04488913426921945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05395819158350365,0.05721305633081088,0.0,0.06805010256197032,0.0,0.05091895269788765,0.0,0.04999086297074253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052861359485040935,0.05579551368503912,0.12413470210133765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03585507347841661,0.07440001855523506,0.0,0.0,0.04492323827983196,0.08525547427128699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04581516179314687,0.0,0.13553752165296368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511566869318876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04051816410682014,0.05395253180113424,0.03731629756511218,0.0376397699646279,0.07830237922550942,0.0,0.10797304499529237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687960029896949,0.07721437723804192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994173819619348,0.09691715030710817,0.0,0.08864775974470128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458494041121632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051030359530697074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050121870581663085,0.0,0.0,0.043350920009569915,0.04828678691383542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090232226342461,0.13863689202479704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03907947269824996,0.0,0.0,0.03592997731474833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633420444997202,0.08160199141189912,0.0,0.0,0.2902568635152001,0.5304528489132692,0.13489746718359882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02960003724625285,0.0,0.0,0.048505769160454015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04958761200985283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04188440039343329,0.029941053162046094,0.08058586098640655,0.122155909697924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18477861824693093,0.10310361884719693,0.0,0.07212048432308216,0.0,0.0,0.16344701277682247
mentalhealth,R_Butternubs,2019/03/21,"I need advice. Direction. Help. First off my mother has been mentally ill l for years on all sorts of meds, to where she can’t hold a conversation even.  It’s bad and I can’t help anymore. I don’t want to be that way but, I recently turned 30 and my depression/ manic/depressed periods (self diagnosed) are getting more frequent and it’s effecting my work/ personal life. 

All I want is a direction, who should I talk to, where should I go. I’m at the end of my rope, something has to change or I won’t make it much more.

I’m sorry and embarrassed to bear all this out there but I need direction. ",0.5887158469945355,2.972323172131148,2.670524590163936,90.40261748633881,87.77049180327869,7.18775956284153,22.06775956284153,8.238735603445708,1.4883359562841532,465,17,101,12,15,156,80,122,0.085,0.857,0.058,-0.6082,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,3,0,12,3,0,2,3,21,22,7,0,6,3,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,6,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,1,0,14,0,12,17,6,14,0,1,0,0,9,6,0,2,6,65,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863769848544248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891507133994028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924973441337534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017647077432237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285471248158186,0.1935846877686364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892820718655396,0.0,0.0,0.1259739037047808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223295714299338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964739606599456,0.0,0.10839499597688336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556816288654859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471667558039027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731227802729053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21185557348946266,0.0,0.19220874840262725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402068679615638,0.2828444728915513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665361458210946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18832067887677906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19897067674302107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14683156760261507,0.0,0.21350414105618595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15329976956215227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074570620558243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249923792678674,0.1513908386968892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885209959783834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282244078006825
mentalhealth,Bacardi99_,2019/03/21,"Venlafaxine First time posting! 
I have experienced depression and anxiety for around 5 years. I also show obvious signs of being bipolar type 2 but none of my issues are obvious to other people they just make me struggle in every day life. 
     I talked to my doctor this week and she prescribed be Venlafaxine 37.5mg and I took it that day and became extremely sick and threw up. Felt nauseous for around 12 hours. I’m convinced I went into serotonin syndrome due to going into a mania episode, having very dilated pupils and also experiencing hallucinations while trying to go to sleep. 
    This is two days later after taking it that one time and now that I feel the dose is lower I feel great. My anxiety is lowered and I felt a real will to be sufficient today, I felt so happy which is unusual for me. 
   I’m thinking about cutting my pills in half and trying again but I’m very scared to do so. Serotonin syndrome can be deadly and this page will outline the list of other side effects which are awful. 
https://mattgemmell.com/venlafaxine-side-effects/
 I just want to be safe with my body and experience relief and this medication has worked for some people.  What do the users of reddit think? ",4.523366098733074,7.268938802752294,5.292516382699869,75.60750764525996,73.81651376146789,7.271647007426826,25.51856705985147,8.269060116576782,1.97798881607689,961,33,157,17,21,311,135,218,0.12,0.774,0.106,0.3345,2,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,1,3,11,9,1,2,5,1,19,9,2,2,2,37,37,19,1,1,4,0,5,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,14,17,0,1,8,1,0,5,1,4,0,4,6,7,19,5,26,24,3,30,0,1,0,0,3,8,0,1,16,112,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21266987577187055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20344122341343326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367404821819953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769813412197616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25726123189374506,0.0,0.11452565657624772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609899199022782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203177670767987,0.0,0.0,0.13006880120026262,0.0,0.0,0.13446583442067572,0.0,0.38301211219847336,0.0,0.0,0.11310301951674855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511382343192504,0.0,0.0,0.14659834610363273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154754259026164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094728221270782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387846675131344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939196514427736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875757010180499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395187109255147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010296165391504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436736380604016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734715869983596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134737235843845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312476078575744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330646239606061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390076467309313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999758357686594,0.1068751204073703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704018140876348,0.0,0.0,0.15507011483519353,0.0,0.12603868104845692,0.0,0.1477330022952493,0.18055389629128776,0.0,0.12989099683893715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21942603398700616,0.07842832280072362,0.0,0.10665938687319623,0.0,0.0,0.12326322030535525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680272126774878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562741603975446
mentalhealth,Lil-Verte,2019/03/21,"Is it normal not being depressed or sad after a break up? So this week would have been two months since I've being dating this girl, genuinely had feelings for her and felt loved. We broke up about two weeks ago since she lives kinda far it was over text. I would usually have this cloud of sadness inside me when I would broke up with someone, but it was only there for about an hour and then I just felt really happy and good about myself, it was like I could go out on the street a start hugging strangers. I found it strange that I felt that way since the relationship wasn't toxic in any means it was pretty good infact, she loved me I loved her.",4.3282357930449535,5.237042519083972,4.318727735368956,90.02446988973709,70.37404580152672,7.04359626802375,22.189143341815093,6.937597516519254,0.4187652247667515,514,10,109,4,9,158,87,131,0.064,0.6759999999999999,0.259,0.9884,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,7,13,0,0,5,0,16,4,0,0,0,22,27,8,0,5,4,0,4,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,11,6,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,5,0,2,11,4,15,8,15,10,0,23,0,5,0,4,10,9,0,2,12,75,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282662737654106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942267386764274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063027920543587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934302868144345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006098202657737,0.0,0.3991230162562781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192580244147216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874783333469182,0.2324380368367496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475015550239677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645540854388244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769427000802608,0.0,0.12235256017220522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3751721563786641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093436202031713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059866359738683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576109150847954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538245156564824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096710939677165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876620248069697,0.0,0.0,0.14876345977873429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438591241240794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740291762591573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807471690028297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707093838120032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15260618721996203,0.0,0.0,0.10998386435333514,0.2222917492427282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952908662063451,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ricky108,2019/03/21,"Thinking about Shock Therapy My doctor has recommended that I undertake some Shock Therapy.  I have heard mix things about it, and was wondering if anyone would like to share their experences with it.

Im mainly concered about memory loss.  And that the benfits will be short lived.",5.289795918367346,8.419395530612245,5.089142857142857,76.03085714285714,73.28571428571429,9.634285714285717,28.16734693877552,9.888512548439397,3.507641632653062,227,9,36,7,5,70,40,49,0.139,0.741,0.12,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,0,8,9,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,4,2,5,4,2,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,26,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206319733516869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020165439584803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187261242716457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415624768928562,0.0,0.2605521260146749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6748762883065411,0.0,0.1960313290534237,0.18906887634663072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31999071772551196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096091896905433,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,birchbark31,2019/03/21,"Shouting shouldn't be so powerful to me Hey everyone! I hope you're all doing well!

I have a slight conundrum I'm trying to work through. A neighbor shouted angrily (I heard it through the walls) and I was in panic mode for two days. I've been lucky to not have been shouted at for a long, long time. I forgot how scary it is. I'm safe and no physical harm was done. I realize the neighbor was upset and that was their way of venting. I realize I shouldn't take it personally. But wow, voice volume is a huge trigger for me apparently. 

Any advice? ",1.3560810810810793,3.6724290450450496,3.4319144144144147,86.93273648648649,82.87387387387388,6.943243243243244,25.466216216216218,8.07648339933343,1.75132972972973,428,18,88,9,12,145,74,111,0.147,0.677,0.17600000000000002,0.5268,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,3,8,0,2,6,0,15,0,0,2,1,16,21,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,5,2,1,4,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,9,5,11,5,11,9,1,9,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,4,58,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580432929118259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957466862536886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703014199075872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702323034360053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25232740985195073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622781920922042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4673821095307379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3098258201882166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305731874033964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19854557947793616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397963704403078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17928421248262608,0.0,0.2579551652464207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20960415560183865,0.0,0.0,0.23742801675193365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922439781710868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yellowdeluxe,2019/03/21,"What I hope for everyone I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now, and I can’t understate how happy he makes me.

He’s seen my impulsiveness, my panic attacks, my flashbacks, my mood-swings, my medication…he knows about my past, my doctors, my diagnoses, my current troubles, and what my future looks like.

And he’s stayed around.

He’s there for me even when I push him away. He talks me through bad moments. He makes me smile. I never knew someone could see these sides of me and choose to stick around.

I hope everyone can meet someone like this—whether platonic or romantic—and I hope everyone can experience what it’s like to feel accepted.",4.881964444444441,6.2468591520000025,5.213866666666668,82.41937777777778,69.48,9.075555555555557,30.68888888888889,9.444778638647367,2.6868222222222227,514,21,101,11,9,163,77,125,0.096,0.7190000000000001,0.185,0.8689,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,9,12,1,1,1,0,5,2,0,3,1,20,17,7,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,5,22,8,11,13,1,14,0,0,4,0,10,4,0,4,11,57,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26462041036568223,0.0,0.1690855180958514,0.139640660242371,0.0,0.1240979600351938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866716152794995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085403397771685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212679630821832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816722473679818,0.0,0.0,0.4260605428806935,0.0,0.14538645537997255,0.0,0.0,0.07515065432959826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716483612890646,0.0,0.15821699973430894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4428626639259557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168192245448089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21783602819916895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480987409771838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842034963284955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186332491624194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463088061172193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438263673019028,0.0,0.0,0.14188200149176433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23687414191798706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25186361437082216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841740208124402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946135261454198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Noah-x3,2019/03/21,"Why don't we all leave school equally? (Bullying) Hi! This is my first post on /mentalhealth. I've been suffering with clinical depression & anxiety for several years now.

I had a philosophical question because I keep asking it to myself without coming up with any form of satisfactory answer. **Why don't we all leave school equally? Why can't we all leave in a positive way?**

There are those who were bullied and had their life opportunities robbed from them - They left school with little to no friends, burdened with anxiety and depression, tormented with distressing memories of the bullying and harassment that took place. A horrendous start in adult life, setting you back in so many ways, for those of us who made it at least; school students committing suicide is often in the headlines. 

Then there are those who I will forever envy - Leaving school with so many positive memories. A decent amount of lifelong friends that will be there with them through life. They aren't burdened by the future, they're the first ones there. Fulfilled with career and social opportunities thanks to a confident, joyful experience in education. Thousands of friends on social media and too many photo albums of great times to keep track of because of the wonderful young lives they had.

It's probably quite clear which of those 2 generalized groups I was a part of. I've discussed this with my counselor in the past, but I can't put the issue to rest. I had my start in life; my future opportunities taken from me by people who probably have no memory of bullying me. Time moves on, I left school 8 years ago yet my depression still makes me think about this. It's an issue with living in the past rather than the present. I sometimes torture myself thinking about people in school I used to know, or looking them up on social media and further acknowledging the fact that they certainly have better lives than me now. Dwelling on what I could have done differently if I could go back in time is exhausting, and pointless.

As I said it's more of a philosophical question though I accept any and all feedback. More direct responses to my case are appreciated as well. Use of generalization was to prevent this post being essay-length.

TL;DR: Why don't we all leave school in a positive light? Why did those of us who were bullied have our opportunities taken from us, our young start in life ruined by others. why can't all of us share the same good experience

​",5.673031319910513,7.900767483221477,5.777779642058167,75.75423098434007,68.79865771812081,9.082997762863537,30.53747203579418,9.586721724236666,3.084623713646532,1983,81,336,46,36,626,214,447,0.125,0.721,0.154,0.7433,1,0,0,0,0,1,57.0,10,1,8,8,19,28,2,2,20,0,34,7,0,4,10,60,56,17,1,4,5,0,0,0,3,2,7,1,0,1,25,23,0,3,9,0,0,5,10,12,1,4,16,3,44,16,69,34,16,60,0,5,1,0,39,25,0,6,25,242,69,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0514767524695028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584057797392925,0.07056305267089799,0.07898102563681376,0.0,0.08884885540369811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05428887796012491,0.0,0.0,0.08930657507940565,0.0,0.07079951813808694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051359394465758636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05002333042792821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927305034735145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005031915991807,0.0,0.0,0.06067220621975392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942715820932655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360985661091352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879092996155953,0.0,0.0,0.13459735468997844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033003289357221376,0.04870749747960509,0.0,0.06402387400567952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122281462165632,0.0,0.10323297725778098,0.0,0.0,0.03191449806484402,0.0,0.0,0.3074459010363449,0.12618939445741398,0.0,0.20508757739936287,0.0,0.0582027537007917,0.15383421140481834,0.0,0.04876531263799297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549485203005601,0.03876308045952378,0.17662571823000067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061720660248081274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0393506531130359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288561855912853,0.1108713587040876,0.0805187315192002,0.0,0.06067220621975392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123261155778527,0.0,0.12522148531661678,0.0,0.0,0.05837775128961373,0.13010641592791958,0.061766034291346174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05523915690491614,0.0,0.0,0.4701704931286551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560410190692907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758930027333242,0.0,0.0,0.05743405507284378,0.0,0.1233096120904318,0.0,0.0463758591952653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352063711512232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053464301641825286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441955905678264,0.057054811539626125,0.0,0.1015856224657162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645194122363801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794107601831733,0.10031001132367387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218867735575928,0.0,0.0,0.05221312232268027,0.0,0.31440219332797364,0.0,0.0,0.05597871403354408,0.06297590744585914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056305267089799,0.07479209747817601
mentalhealth,Koukash,2019/03/21,"The medicine is making me gain weight I gained weight because of the medicine and now my family and friends are making fun of me. My father is constantly shouting and throwing mean comments everytime he sees me. I don’t know what to do at this point. I am thinking of stopping the medicine but at the same time I don’t want because it’s actually working. 

Note: My parents and my friends don’t know that I have a mental illness or that I am taking medication. ",2.776333333333333,5.217193744444447,3.6500000000000017,86.70500000000001,78.22222222222223,6.222222222222222,31.11111111111111,7.3871296695380915,2.0667777777777783,367,19,70,5,9,117,56,90,0.054000000000000006,0.792,0.154,0.7876,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,5,0,10,4,0,2,0,15,19,6,0,1,2,2,2,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,5,4,2,1,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,13,3,6,19,1,8,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,1,4,47,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.19644813732544456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454316867236145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21754306140709645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18977581549634712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110610228134399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212678644426675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26875008389827365,0.0,0.0,0.21928406188371127,0.0,0.2027972180466545,0.2028717027909723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235293575079134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030167906686646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041687667516175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830298890101908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513590008142913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899041112758722,0.0,0.0,0.11738465328724022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873701763421035,0.0,0.0,0.4902792410685496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465550455721614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,biboicali,2019/03/22,"I need help. Hello guys, I’m now 24 years old. A high school dropout, never had a job nor a social life. I’m tired of always thinking I’m lazy or a failure when I know I’ve been dealing with mental health problems since I was 12 years when I first thought of suicide. My whole life since I was a kid I’ve been bullied. I was humiliated in public everyday. In school, my neighbors and some family members as well. That’s why I dropped out of my senior year in high school 6 years ago. I couldn’t take it anymore. Now I’m unable to communicate with people. I can’t even complete a sentence while speaking to someone. Which is why I choose to stay quiet. People mistake the latter with arrogance. The older I get, the worse I get. The more I think about suicide. The more I lose sense of reality. I have never been treated by a professional. I wish I can get help but I don’t have the resources to do so. And I was wondering if any of you know of any mental hospital that offers help for those who can’t afford it. I live in a small city in Southern California. I need help",0.7415874125874105,3.0994044454545464,2.7818181818181813,90.18926573426576,86.36363636363636,5.202797202797203,22.097902097902107,6.67199483983844,0.5868146853146858,838,30,175,10,26,281,125,220,0.127,0.797,0.076,-0.7933,2,0,0,0,0,3,24.0,0,1,0,3,8,5,0,0,14,0,17,4,0,0,2,25,34,11,2,7,3,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,2,7,6,0,0,7,0,0,0,7,3,1,1,9,2,25,2,23,24,4,28,0,1,0,0,15,9,0,4,17,107,32,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974051991748508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143197447371992,0.0,0.0,0.14944925940589646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897502447872028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521088499761625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328518729655875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257709470500882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358849759008952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346695107927994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17222896858870812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088020597262645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680114972195285,0.0,0.0,0.2946106970851464,0.2321961552214841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090425375775292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077832774758755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15522810097010398,0.0,0.0,0.09702924966417156,0.0,0.0,0.1229316636929403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22147368821149396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295462387151038,0.1694980437835866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530437482655355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235893300729406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514378427948724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336242696870793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18179373202042745,0.0,0.0,0.11201251266899258,0.09310403468136788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712131849095715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24038969099993315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261880709131438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14081797364208318,0.0,0.08723532019913499,0.0,0.12629505671237246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987985709159606,0.0,0.1983057515802208,0.12268113761397853,0.12636074013389836,0.0,0.11916409862131555,0.0,0.0,0.11198079644983222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830457945412405
mentalhealth,paranoiaisachallenge,2019/03/22,"I think my friend is paranoid and it's seriously impacting his life Hey there,

​

For context sake, I'm a 28 yr old male. 

​

Sorry for the length of the post. There's a lot to go through.

I met David around 15 years ago at a soup kitchen. Then, he was an 50s something year old male living in government housing with around $50 to cover his living costs each week. The majority of his life prior to me meeting him had been relatively similar after he had to leave his job because of epilepsy. Additionally, he'd been on heavy medication the majority of his life to manage severe anxiety. He needed some computer help and so I went around to his house and helped him out.

Over the following 15 years, these are the things I've come to know about David after consistently catching up with him roughly every 3 weeks:

* he has epilepsy - mild and mostly controlled through medication. Mostly absence seizures. Non-violent fits
* he suffers from severe anxiety and has so seemingly for the majority of his life
* he has anger management problems and can go from 0 to shaking at an incredible rate
* he's almost hit me which meant me not seeing him for about 3 months. That stopped the violence for a number of years but it almost happened again a while ago and I had to threaten the end of our friendship
* growing up, his family was incredibly wealthy. After his working career was over plunging him into relatively severe poverty, he has never classed himself as similar to others in his situation. He has a 'better than them' mentality
* he is a hypochondriac stemming from what I can only guess is the severe anxiety. He is frequently banned from doctor's practices because he might try and go down to report some new issue every day. Most things are minor. He has a self reported pain tolerance of 0 and any discomfort he experiences will lead to a doctors visit
* he follows doctors advice as if his life depends on it. Not bad at a surface level, however, if a doctor said, ""Try and minimize time in the sun"", he wouldn't go outdoors
* his dad was a relatively prolific doctor and so, he picked up a decent amount of medical knowledge and self-diagnoses
* if he likes you, he is a wonderful gentlemen. Very smart, articulate, and courteous (which is a lot of what I see as someone he values as his number one friend)
* he can hide most of the above and does until he comes under pressure
* he's at times, incredible selfish. For example, he would prefer to place something in the rubbish broken than to risk someone benefiting from something he's throwing out/no longer needs (meaning, he generally breaks things before throwing them out - even if they are perfectly working/in good quality)
* he has very few friends because of how incredibly rude and harsh he can be. People who have to spend time around him mostly find him unbearable 

Our friendship certainly has been problematic every now and again. Over time, dependency develops and I have to try and introduce distance between us so he can still function by himself. Because of the epilepsy, he writes his car off about once every 5 years, but doesn't tell the full truth to his neurologist about things and gets his license back. To summarise the situation and his opinion on this, he'd rather have his independence and drive with the risk of killing someone than not (knowing it'll keep happening). He is also technologically incompetent however, prefers to spend 90% of his time on the computer freaking out and taking spam emails as real and true threats on his life. 

All this is to say, about 1.5 years ago, his mum died whom he loved dearly and left him what's turned out to be $850K. From impoverished to zero debt and money to spare in the space of a few months for the first time, he has money to work on improving his situation.

I really value David and we have a deep friendship albeit complicated at times. He's had an incredibly challenging life and having seen his quality of life pre this crazy injection of money, I honestly want to do everything I can to help what, for a long time I thought was the impacts of severe poverty. 

Increasingly often of late, he's mentioned he wishes he could just kill himself, and is completely unwilling to talk to anyone professional about it. Today, I tried to talk to him about what I feel is an underlying paranoia that fuels and forms the basis of a lot of the issues he experiences. I outlined why, and he agrees mostly, and that it taints almost every interaction in his life, but he's been like this for so long, he won't seek help. He tells himself the same lie over and over again that as soon as the current problem goes away, he will be fine. The reality is, there's always another person out to get him. Someone specifically targeting him for no good reason. Most recently it's the body corporate, but of course, it's him and not them in reality.

What can I do as a friend to help him value himself enough to seek help? I don't know if he is actually serious re: suicide, but it's semi-frequent now (like, brings it up once every 4ish months). He is getting worse at managing his emotional health as he gets older. I have no idea what to do apart from just continuing to be there, but I wish there was some path to him having a happier life.

Sorry for the massive wall of text. It's complicated :/",5.182072732081462,6.989201134673369,6.0122024596667565,75.27656340915102,69.31155778894473,9.136339592700343,31.484065062152872,9.583026375307881,3.1472864321608043,4239,183,742,97,76,1391,432,995,0.139,0.7290000000000001,0.131,-0.5299,5,0,3,0,1,1,128.0,4,1,4,8,36,40,5,5,53,0,72,23,1,8,6,135,115,63,4,18,18,2,2,3,4,7,20,2,1,4,36,51,1,4,16,0,7,20,11,19,0,3,20,7,77,21,151,80,26,129,0,1,3,1,134,53,0,29,57,488,113,22,0.0,0.0,0.044936427168177334,0.0,0.0,0.04499779463523687,0.12245692494975165,0.0,0.13833194353398962,0.0,0.0,0.03682475062033468,0.03831581384082409,0.09978646977077303,0.11190727244969872,0.0313143735274537,0.04828558119254223,0.10568030320568396,0.0,0.0,0.03219799110247723,0.0,0.0,0.16397073984171412,0.0,0.0,0.0432638252285328,0.035408244295963995,0.038448346239994186,0.1122822874817875,0.0,0.039183649698044186,0.0,0.0,0.04072591485048955,0.0,0.05114919954121604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793329406133844,0.04828069006946882,0.0,0.05164700231631245,0.03676576240616696,0.0,0.0,0.029697297041196037,0.0,0.0,0.046737981256341515,0.047790789711030915,0.0,0.0,0.2356615586259711,0.040297113898232345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179805762919914,0.04078506142277489,0.04758012811974878,0.0,0.03041441974573425,0.0,0.23278570453892236,0.0,0.04138517736148846,0.09008800424228378,0.04341017037593722,0.0,0.02328336724477245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04208724538712219,0.039168598495622084,0.0,0.0,0.14230698429436742,0.0,0.09623319247526246,0.0,0.1046810746995369,0.0772461363911655,0.0,0.0,0.05072731373598452,0.0,0.08144059039588064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048947112155243916,0.0,0.0,0.1851909360484352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626694317069113,0.0,0.05198284345028253,0.0,0.09612477089288304,0.04569576009487317,0.040929780084984206,0.10189108147255553,0.0,0.07592070414020323,0.0,0.05194440595219566,0.04875842371967992,0.05003153354089654,0.0,0.32525224648542833,0.06749051340869375,0.0,0.08132285644374497,0.08150246396070576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744566808496287,0.041560322851616815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05016001887386275,0.0,0.1391662330231032,0.046405782315197694,0.0488498920721134,0.0,0.0,0.11026576677195933,0.0,0.0,0.06828835392324295,0.03551523156629654,0.04447366473247112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663973651048473,0.09807971814035936,0.031203470458770706,0.035021751765150086,0.04899856033599311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03192404269784198,0.040207535790187265,0.04811059651305688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04410147271031526,0.0,0.0,0.0881238688798206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241296374406031,0.0294996734487375,0.047345246838346434,0.0454670690175859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380240896380312,0.03661939847540055,0.0,0.0,0.07338895031942065,0.04192057655287068,0.09607668733894108,0.2601069479008086,0.0,0.0,0.15528041000717896,0.0,0.0,0.1560660537504318,0.10635052493385444,0.0,0.10309444055576816,0.0,0.0,0.03677417369014864,0.03849837980600504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050369286579576615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03462253604915468,0.07402364142519922,0.08049636038520723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223695839671654,0.029505844616004463,0.0,0.03655714872542168,0.21480873252018776,0.0,0.04364833506654288,0.0,0.0,0.1250548942171503,0.050087248065038906,0.0,0.0,0.055390347500675036,0.0,0.0,0.07598921992927925,0.027160437445365358,0.0,0.0738742204774967,0.0,0.0,0.04268716791157747,0.04155136266523695,0.0,0.10590637736147353,0.0,0.04993733806543012,0.06704731560342816,0.0,0.04692707748263966,0.032711339383839244,0.0,0.11190727244969872,0.17792129123035896
mentalhealth,EqualBandicoot6,2019/03/22,"Can chronic Stress & Anxiety over a long period cause existential fatigue, DPDR, and a desire to stop existing? Toxic living environment, two shitty jobs, unending family stresses. I live with my parent who's physical and mental health is deteriorating before they can retire properly, they're now between the ages their sibling and parent died. I'm heavily in debt, can't afford to escape, and working two jobs nonstop. I once logged 5 hours of personal time over 14 days. I've been sober for several years now, but still haven't developed real coping mechanisms other than working nonstop. If I take time to stop, it's more to have a mini breakdown than blow off steam anymore.

It's very disorienting getting into something I enjoy, because then I have to re-integrate with my reality to resume living. That's difficult and often more stressful than any stress I managed to blow off by taking the personal time in the first place.

I've got this low key DPDR that starts to set in whenever I'm not doing something productive. It sets in when I'm being productive as well, I just lean into the work harder to ignore it. I'm kind of hitting the point I'd rather just give up living.

I had a relative who experienced major DPDR episodes when their spouse was dying. Their experience with that sounds familiar.",6.778345435684649,8.047685120331952,7.6171550829875505,67.27934258298758,65.01659751037344,10.506327800829876,33.31976141078838,10.550175099000144,3.95403091286307,1058,44,164,27,16,354,155,241,0.153,0.81,0.037000000000000005,-0.9723,6,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,4,4,10,11,0,4,9,0,12,3,0,1,0,23,23,11,2,3,6,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,11,10,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,8,1,3,4,2,14,3,32,17,3,35,0,2,0,0,12,14,0,2,19,102,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255676769301963,0.0,0.07064373906961083,0.0,0.07946991454168764,0.0,0.1030236379220951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332587663017038,0.0,0.08839645227572121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671605924766574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699569133681371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21562750251521545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161712894263006,0.09793128214161724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836249747807343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054274377651990606,0.09965366819548636,0.0,0.0,0.08308441540638761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042235975995256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230344816362334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617492793841924,0.0,0.0,0.10817775546506472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669210016908478,0.09193284343566163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468924036822512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063159239404917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23069869593012765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18141258131853125,0.10853522021036202,0.0,0.09820264703370234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824115629693854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735778358515175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599478213363503,0.0,0.0,0.07352864810296995,0.0,0.08296078886552935,0.17370103190688624,0.475988728451241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621359312459865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18172436097986228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20295643617021936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571403512321488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340294481194583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268833383168548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689699679278961
mentalhealth,runkman,2019/03/22,"A true, and heartfelt thank you. Shout out to all of you who have the courage (albeit anonymous, it is irrelevant to me) to post and share your most heartfelt and uninhibited stories. I've struggled quite a bit in life, especially after losing my father to suicide when I was only 10 and I've struggled even more with sharing my thoughts, opinions, and who I really am in fear of judgment, or having it used against me.

Today I will not be sharing much of anything other than a simple thank you. Having spent an hour last night and around the same amount of time today reading your posts, it has been inspiring- sad, but inspiring. I hope to remain here for a long time to come, and I look forward to speaking with many of you and try to help in any facet that I'm able.",8.344085714285711,6.612253313333337,7.949809523809524,76.23300000000002,62.53333333333333,10.17142857142857,36.76190476190476,8.418075326091056,2.919990476190476,607,23,117,6,7,193,101,150,0.076,0.7340000000000001,0.189,0.946,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,6,0,2,4,17,0,3,7,0,10,1,0,1,2,26,19,11,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,13,0,0,3,1,1,2,1,5,0,0,4,3,15,12,24,13,7,19,0,2,1,0,14,6,0,4,11,82,22,1,0.16250893518520518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051164859477848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373100699876914,0.14466740620985702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774176677770437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399870581375425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733561903155801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18286773225669076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892631371330794,0.0,0.0,0.1614080405685501,0.1600385662252682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246647195459008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478486688148888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381529378094676,0.1364665766343876,0.1818059302964964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475855349183274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946276587886065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250362701413633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359536814142805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112772765772699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728482561896914,0.16255291241100572,0.0,0.10410738515875023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33977924705653656,0.0,0.17775839882511893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992327875090375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901394211284298,0.1895205339374632,0.0,0.3080789377690714,0.0,0.0,0.11033289962408736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403555427719475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TenaciousBodacious,2019/03/22,Is anyone else too existential to function properly? I feel like I've always been too aware of my existence to function like an adult.  ,5.355599999999999,7.468363960000001,6.277000000000001,72.32350000000002,69.4,9.8,32.5,10.125756701596842,3.7766,109,5,18,3,2,36,20,25,0.0,0.8079999999999999,0.192,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858799223663306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32426711223181204,0.4751700920208748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874064009942267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23448761866743434,0.3313054727318478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4531329054334642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,memebuddy_,2019/03/22,"How I Think I feel stupid writing this and but I feel so empty and alone that I don't know where else to say it than to a void on the internet.

I feel so alone. I feel hopeless.

I am fairly introverted and I am mostly fine with that, but it becomes painful when I start to think that there's something wrong with me and that I'm not supposed to be so content just being by myself and that I should be someone who is always with other but I can't do that and that's not who I am. 

I am constantly anxious and worrying about the future and everything I have to do, what I look like, what others think about me. I get routine stomach cramps that I can never calm down on school days because I wish I wasn't there to be looked at. 

I'm not wording this well but I need to put it somewhere. 

Over the summer, I moved away from my childhood home and left one of my closest friends. I feel completely disconnected to my new area and I know no one cares about me here. Not having her to support me is hard. The people I considered to be friends with back home now never contact me, which shows how much they truly cared about me. If I died they would never know. 

I have never been someone's first choice in my entire life. I am never the first person that comes to someone's mind when. I don't think it's easy to understand how wrecking this is to my self-esteem. I could sit at a party for three hours and no one would come speak to me. I used to do this during track practices, just sit and look at everyone talking and laughing around me and think about how inconsequential I was to everyone there. I did not matter. 

My best friend, who I have only ever spoken to online, also struggles with mental health problems. I feel guilty if I turn to him to vent, even though he assures me it's fine. 

I struggle with weird OCD-like symptoms which make me feel even more worthless. Intrusive thoughts that make me want to slam my head against a wall.

I hate posting on social media now because it is just not worth the stress and fear of others looking and thinking about me. Even typing this I feel uncomfortable because people may read it.

I don't know why I wrote this but I guess I wanted to try and put it all in one place. ",3.6106484848484897,4.7779523355555575,4.229070707070708,89.03009090909094,72.3111111111111,6.6989898989899,25.41414141414141,6.850034144686104,0.8749777777777781,1741,53,366,14,33,553,214,450,0.183,0.701,0.116,-0.985,0,4,1,0,0,1,36.0,0,0,2,3,34,26,2,4,9,0,35,7,2,7,8,94,79,35,1,11,16,0,9,1,3,4,5,2,2,1,34,26,0,0,20,2,1,5,18,12,1,7,6,15,66,14,52,63,5,47,0,2,4,0,19,18,0,5,22,272,100,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411656043143787,0.0,0.05949944299349112,0.061908622406595164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405335139073086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623376617264355,0.0,0.0,0.06990335194405871,0.057210728586005816,0.0,0.13606474145772526,0.08217142658522597,0.0,0.0,0.0780805587188684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171608095191655,0.0,0.0,0.12818188033907674,0.07800933117218391,0.0804023875955667,0.0,0.05940413302323915,0.0,0.0,0.04798328848390601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721777663458787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06215352291452166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14742592984530406,0.06730108404429444,0.0,0.14218905404186274,0.06686793419411953,0.0,0.0,0.08372320300843257,0.3009600572962178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657301157870146,0.0,0.0,0.17244895397043278,0.0,0.03887209861104755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196245354015974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664979132229829,0.07345680666194247,0.07635816142113913,0.07908609998213431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926302256882373,0.0,0.07327121741985933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355809727317114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083824948293587,0.0,0.05255250116365562,0.03634917537359211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24991656556201705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993281434588894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497995649444453,0.0,0.0751250508700489,0.0,0.0,0.07907780448331922,0.0546942058951396,0.0551683168647404,0.2869179641928953,0.07185814526602903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20166752854918185,0.05658625483079526,0.07916922717365737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316228768013104,0.06496516455255928,0.07773450319119808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125677750027784,0.0,0.0,0.07119289369858492,0.0,0.14958959881831216,0.0,0.0,0.07442237248447453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916764608963504,0.0,0.0752990371862747,0.0,0.0,0.07761776094920965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584371213192816,0.1891223249020853,0.057278477917109626,0.0,0.0,0.0526622871315565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522751245875022,0.15556274761167413,0.0,0.0,0.08443077818271111,0.0,0.07733241357946716,0.0,0.05980170074413446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860436999785676,0.07309982125318305,0.0590670663059886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050514235834509855,0.08092827000167056,0.0,0.07745535388349532,0.0,0.0642596452410732,0.0,0.0,0.0877687355507262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689654747536339,0.0,0.06713644743155281,0.0,0.08555890204707219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555908444457747,0.0,0.10570643060022412,0.08134716759317674,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ineedhelp_throwaway3,2019/03/22,"Had a rough day yesterday Got hit with a huge tax bill, my business account is super low for this time of the month, oil light came on and i had -$134 in my bank account, credit is maxed and not sure if im going to make payroll by the end of the month. 

Just mentally shut down. Walked out of the office and felt so weird, almost outside my self. Got in my car and drove around. Thought about driving in front of a semi, off a bridge, anything to end this. 

Wife called me and asked where I went and I replied crying in my car driving around. All her replies didn’t help. Just said I think I’m going to end it all and turned off my phone.

She didn’t get it, yelled at me that I was being incredibly selfish. My kids would be in such pain. It doesn’t even phase me, i just want this pain, this sickness in my stomach everyday to end. Feel like such a failure, feel like all I’m worth is my life insurance, not even sure they would get it if it was suicide, have to look like an accident. 

Would it be so bad to lose everything? Move into my inlaws basement? Start all over... seems not so bad but man, at time when these what ifs hit me, these letters, these calls... owe, owe, owe owe... final notice, final notice.... man its so easy to want to slip away. 

Every night i go to bed wishing dont wake up.  

",2.1551481103166523,3.629053239700376,3.0203353762342537,95.02445607763028,76.52808988764046,5.903234593122232,21.87419135171945,6.351523495107088,0.13214007490636748,993,26,228,7,22,314,155,267,0.107,0.804,0.08900000000000001,-0.606,4,0,0,0,1,1,49.0,0,0,1,2,16,15,0,0,10,0,18,6,2,1,6,43,51,16,1,9,10,1,4,3,0,3,4,2,1,4,16,13,0,0,6,0,11,13,7,8,0,0,14,9,24,7,36,29,4,52,0,2,1,0,15,23,0,5,19,135,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511356488345364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638241193855975,0.18689337286479635,0.0981339683476237,0.0,0.098623964590255,0.0,0.17529325334026394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143748084584431,0.12005916941044732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530601217240714,0.06769778576781038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302554788017782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718935560897499,0.0,0.0,0.13866506903592965,0.0,0.08844282322969102,0.0,0.09434140982912984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615325734886323,0.1499829940184169,0.10078888189728533,0.2299817929504629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968631318374693,0.0,0.1789727771972676,0.0,0.16791022952649767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703600302824188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338698588976785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414431310878246,0.15385098218747756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814942998810442,0.11743600168874507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006913853819766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578635170749437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675741341284665,0.1115678486416393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850842692735308,0.0,0.0,0.2390209756605677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22339366683477796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998517169435341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556190271466664,0.10950792908408374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429920593022295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482153299714215,0.0,0.19786836135297406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726135193184987,0.0,0.08333546380542604,0.12241918460654692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417859963829274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382955074906077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973094199214076,0.0,0.0,0.12071178121221306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237057375336237,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DoctorAvacado,2019/03/22,"Asking for some advice and an ear. (Long post) Been feeling pretty lost lately and I would appreciate any advice on how to move on to the next step or honestly push myself forward in my life. 
So I’ve been pretty stubborn my whole life. Grew up hella poor and considered myself smart so I worked my ass off and made it into Texas A&M University. I’ve learned that it’s an accomplishment to make it into college. But a completely different type of beast to conquer, and finish. I had my tuition paid through a program called “Aggie Assurance”. In which the school vows to do there best to pool together scholarships to pay a students tuition if their family income is below 60k. I had no idea what I was doing I would sleep at the library for straight stretch’s of 3-4 days. Just studying engineering hyped up on caffeine pills.  I would cry in the stalls for hours and had a bad habit of pulling out my hair. I had always been a little suicidal since I was 15 but I was getting way worse. And I would freak out from the pressure and my lack of preparedness for tests from procrastinating, that sometimes I would skip important finals altogether. I had to take out loans because when I got up there I had no idea that Aggie assurance wouldn’t pay for everything. So I had to take out 5k in loans to finish out my freshman year. I couldn’t start my sophomore year due to lack of money so that summer I started a summer internship program where I had the potential make enough to finish my next year. It was called Southwestern Advantage we’d wake up at 5:44 am race to the cold shower and start knocking on doors at 7:00am all the way to 9-10:30 pm. I was a door to door salesman selling educational products. This program took all the way in Michigan but I live in Texas. It was incredibly difficult and I finished with 400$ due to me not managing my finances correctly and for the last 2 weeks I just let my depression and anxiety get the best of me and would just lay in the grass all day . So now I’m back in my home town in Texas which originally was like my worst nightmare. Which is one of the reasons I tried so hard in college. Ever since the summer where I was pushed so far and went through so much I’ve gone into a depression way worse than anything I’ve had before. I can’t get over how I just gave up when everything was on the line. I let the fear get to me. My family held me up to such a high standard and thought I was amazing that I made it into that school considering where we came from and I lagged in the grass and did jack shit. I immediately got back from the summer and started a waiter job. I would only work and sleep and was in a deep depression for 3 months. Which started to affect my family. I eventually got a 2nd job in order to force myself to get out of bed at 8am instead of my 5:30pm shift. And have been working 2 jobs for about 4 months. About 1/3 of money goes to help my family. I’ve currently got my loans paid off (which was 7,000$) by the end due to interest.  And am going to apply to the sister A&M here in Texarkana for next year. It’s just  I feel like I’ve gotten real fucked up in the head. I’ve slept with 2 prostitutes, started self harm (I just burned my shoulder with hot metal once. I liked it because I’ve grown real apathetic and it’s nice to feel something), since my 2 year girlfriend broke up with me after the summer due to (me being different and having to deal with too much mental stuff) I’ve slept with 5 girls in the span of 7 months. And  I spent New Years with a noose around my neck. What scares me is how easy it would be to commit suicide now. It just feel like it’d be so easy I think I’ve had the belt around my neck hanging the doorknob about 5-6 times? Last time in years I was closest. I’ve had mental breakdowns at work, and am anxiety attack when I got high one time (I get high all the time. And  I had only taken one hit off the bong) I usually smoke way more than that. Worst anxiety attack I ever had. Was legit scared I was gonna die. Sorry I don’t have anyone to talk to this about I used to have a better help therapist but it cost too much. Anyways I feel fucked up in the head but I want to get better. It’s so hard for me to push myself to get on my college shit and just take care of stuff I know I should be doing to advance so I don’t stay in this super tiring two job routine forever. I know I just need ti get up and do it. But everything just feels so hard. Thank you. And I really am sorry about the way too long message",3.1830162794951526,4.5287781125541136,4.375969148222668,86.86856136820927,73.61038961038959,7.456716053899154,24.91884641180416,8.018070685757602,1.2797428083653437,3552,110,750,52,71,1166,371,924,0.158,0.7440000000000001,0.098,-0.9962,9,0,2,0,0,2,81.0,2,1,1,14,56,41,7,4,45,0,70,21,15,11,10,125,133,56,3,16,19,1,11,4,1,11,4,1,6,2,34,51,0,2,14,1,17,16,8,22,0,4,55,13,95,19,137,57,17,157,0,5,0,3,17,72,5,3,66,487,129,27,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937967354251492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03993415991339204,0.10400115361175387,0.0,0.032636999574850487,0.0,0.11014392504994937,0.0,0.0,0.03355793852945197,0.0,0.03949428747160485,0.0854481882227375,0.044867132899774426,0.10919831282876068,0.0,0.07380756654898006,0.04007229008711486,0.05851237875785024,0.0,0.040838650577345474,0.0,0.10073173644626657,0.08489211285006379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801277970740048,0.054891397958080346,0.048932232721766535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05031992289065832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271824078239954,0.061903245170016725,0.049478848196805085,0.12400933422028902,0.0,0.04980933059744065,0.10028529017614482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04250770117270146,0.04958977128679104,0.0,0.0,0.08682513511343062,0.0,0.0,0.12939949267398046,0.0,0.18097474769681007,0.05400565619828679,0.14560072476669794,0.06857265673281349,0.0,0.05257416897829286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873781978410089,0.22567004200429644,0.0,0.027275623025544576,0.0,0.1919226010689352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897735346354566,0.0,0.0985096715238661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433761688574129,0.15212224903698324,0.04814106000672901,0.0,0.04726360238282201,0.0,0.0,0.10835688844926064,0.0,0.0,0.19050325263334308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275157932557337,0.0782416739563176,0.054138383240890084,0.0,0.0,0.09815253056709766,0.06779798689542721,0.0937881494151498,0.0481017619731305,0.04237884607292591,0.08494488575039734,0.0,0.0,0.052390211557064505,0.0,0.0,0.09082459080410547,0.06407162379961265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673164921302936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492306496573967,0.05100914165230088,0.1058415005687389,0.03558632549372523,0.0,0.046352100120833226,0.15312383394061607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05111115693312503,0.09756423687070664,0.07300193289625521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04596418781410245,0.0976526101630068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925346304193788,0.030745651959493688,0.04934496931831009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609906604805778,0.09714329524479323,0.0,0.0,0.050067340499164,0.0,0.09852859327230334,0.1191013320155754,0.0,0.09605565494483377,0.0,0.0,0.03694748498383443,0.04746646972182728,0.10744884324887376,0.2038188653500882,0.05115433073393316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988138877288184,0.10499347101687567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825466714119414,0.03857508999190188,0.0,0.04418566043894498,0.0,0.055723766402283326,0.0,0.030752083778520557,0.0,0.038101214011620387,0.11194080740253612,0.05516108582422045,0.0,0.0,0.05332217485782676,0.03258421029738851,0.0,0.046882350851174384,0.0,0.0,0.04145068730783912,0.05285769344645107,0.0,0.02830761358134768,0.2285684542134029,0.038497223969732125,0.0,0.0,0.044490146985067626,0.0,0.05358265744596415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975838979665425,0.0,0.0978182754642784,0.2727437529292224,0.0,0.0,0.21634218392850904
mentalhealth,RoniArtCazi,2019/03/22,"Should I get it checked? For a while iv been hearing my name being called among other things and it’s starting to irritate me. It used to be only when I was alone but it’s started happening at work and more importantly in some of my lectures. Earning myself some weird glares when i spin around to find out who’s talking to me. 

I brought it up to my mother thinking it’s normal and she told me it’s really not. She’s urging me to go to a psychiatrist, since my grandma is diagnosed bipolar and schizophrenic. 

I’m skeptical with these things and a psychiatrist is not someone I’d like to go and chat with, especially a Uni psychiatrist.

 I’m just trying to make sure I really should go and I’m not being paranoid. Thanks in advance.",2.276666666666668,4.678810958904113,4.0470958904109615,83.38306392694066,79.82191780821918,7.181004566210048,26.17168949771689,8.238735603445708,1.9439886757990863,584,24,113,12,15,196,86,146,0.101,0.8390000000000001,0.06,-0.5754,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,4,5,1,0,4,0,9,4,0,2,1,27,26,11,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,12,11,0,0,2,1,1,5,3,2,0,0,4,1,16,3,20,17,3,17,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,2,6,79,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093115879750787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799092159383294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063636774033136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20512424522779624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18471303662862265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558736407593086,0.0,0.3445692217578976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871374829218256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277780561952635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873440722700157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349013459669423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19801219354298646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370390856166766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589370823463931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717676294690625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712361692819928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860906554116718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19047407194993685,0.0,0.0,0.16243794841156964,0.0,0.18606380522817306,0.0,0.0,0.2685285914728985,0.12949562527040795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931123859166113,0.0,0.13721062666166378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454695784114513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471290547646087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mmpitta1993,2019/03/22,"Klonopin causing severe debilitating depression? I was relatively happy before taking this medication. My psychiatrist wanted to add this in, I have no idea why. I took my first dose today and have felt absolutely horribly depressed to the point where I can’t function. Horrible thoughts are going through my head. I’m honestly terrified. 

Has anyone else experienced this with klonopin ?",6.281785714285713,10.12132898412699,6.773313492063494,60.52758928571429,76.61904761904762,10.134126984126985,36.44642857142857,9.827888789773867,5.397890476190479,318,18,41,11,8,103,52,63,0.302,0.613,0.086,-0.9511,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,6,3,1,1,0,8,13,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,4,2,7,2,5,9,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,26,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600871168015087,0.22860990550321644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898562767118688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292027921089971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843409799252347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18638576419228967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142274708369081,0.0,0.0,0.18978334922109347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268026283782027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23751237430771896,0.0,0.0,0.22898258379288136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518721248893569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247670737615636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109178417128557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520588921955397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775634315001198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17713010905558993,0.0,0.0,0.2114889869694697,0.0,0.2478913833235732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160028652206113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013285405703339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-Mickey,2019/03/22,"How big of an issue is this? I’m currently 17 years old and failing school, I basically quit caring about school and life itself around middle school age which is around thirteen I have no motivation and just a complete lack of emotion. 

Anyone got advice for me?",2.935170068027208,5.8956221428571425,3.7296938775510218,82.86828231292519,82.6734693877551,5.715646258503401,22.452380952380953,7.1686216300943375,1.1255687074829928,211,7,36,3,6,67,40,49,0.152,0.7440000000000001,0.104,-0.3736,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,2,0,9,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,6,5,1,8,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,24,6,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20781280275297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486996157980879,0.0,0.0,0.3786321006641187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21682512468646967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22297416136760825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392183799304339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17008683067270894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22196596761204784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021087475897565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223155097537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22619434484881715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6456819748142409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694864566782744
mentalhealth,Lattika,2019/03/22,"I can feel the depression coming back after I've stopped taking drugs My wonderful boyfriend, whose shirt I'm wearing, who left my house a few hours ago and is coming back to see me tomorrow feels like a distant memory, or something I imagined. Even while I'm looking through our conversations, I have tears streaming down my face because I am not 100% sure if he's real, and if I'm dating anybody at all. I feel very much alone.

​

I have suffered through depression years ago. Last year, I fell into a spiral of semi-frequent clubbing and drug use. The symptoms of depression faded during this year, as did most of my ambition. Recently I have felt the ambition coming back, and several enlightening experiences back to back have made me decide to quit using party drugs. 

​

The first week was hard physically. My sleep schedule was never good, but some weeks I averaged 4 or 5 hours of sleep. My energy would exhaust almost immediately and my focus was completely gone. As time went on, I started applying myself to my studies more. I find myself more focused, alert. However, I don't seem to get the highs as high as before, and my lows seem very defeating. This is not the first time that I have felt so lonely that I have forgotten whether the dear people in my life even exist. It is, however, the first time this has happened in over a year.

​

I kept telling myself that I ""beat"" depression but deep down I know it's lurking somewhere. I know amphetamines would fry my brain and body in the long run, and that I am making a better decision by giving everything up. Yet I cannot help but to feel like the clubbing scene was the only thing distracting me from my demons. 

​

The moment passed and I remember my sweetie again, and I know he is here for me, even if not physically at this moment. But my fit of crying reminded me of a place I though I have moved away from. ",5.034575766902634,6.678413606648199,5.608377962449988,78.66739817379707,69.4432132963989,8.783051195239564,30.267877295578128,9.250403328903447,2.7499442084744024,1516,61,272,31,27,489,198,361,0.134,0.763,0.104,-0.7434,2,3,4,0,0,0,58.0,1,0,0,7,13,16,0,1,18,0,24,13,7,4,3,60,56,27,0,5,13,0,7,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,13,14,0,2,18,2,0,9,6,10,0,3,11,9,47,6,35,43,7,65,1,8,2,0,9,19,0,11,39,185,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051793817655362,0.0,0.06807079561042692,0.0704053771445093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946193430781953,0.3304059876107534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386817670351902,0.2613569178765716,0.0,0.04143915233847969,0.0,0.05784482184790728,0.0,0.0,0.060121589164707036,0.0,0.07550895227792892,0.0,0.07588665209102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756727557979707,0.07127431817311927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467135184639585,0.0,0.0,0.2341996366690096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23650094665336674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346977659322495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109482475642985,0.06649616097768106,0.0,0.0,0.13748818608497185,0.09712791819198068,0.13054032344998606,0.0,0.062131251944322015,0.1734678075782633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03551603741282413,0.06521131261329619,0.0,0.05701726399173512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060113293158514075,0.0,0.060895515465864775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556465424618005,0.14364634596959708,0.0,0.0,0.1338905483444783,0.07843823180586898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207786001049656,0.05541167040416229,0.0,0.0,0.07385899901496956,0.0,0.048015328838855766,0.06642186651208502,0.0,0.0,0.060158963551164915,0.05708494273359424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432303957402273,0.04537627482543076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07225054378091555,0.04997212736758221,0.0,0.05242932342114468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05170082438129432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04712783461347216,0.0,0.07102321773852609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230365888510029,0.0,0.07737458285942471,0.0,0.0,0.06712071304067514,0.0,0.07700655555862364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417018054144787,0.1237704145044661,0.0,0.0767965219098831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360554810018683,0.0,0.0,0.052333283700703816,0.0,0.0,0.04811563632630031,0.0,0.0,0.05683319288714925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406907043045502,0.07065584293233322,0.05111148259846925,0.0,0.05941633387611245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04516199255767978,0.0,0.06678867566365337,0.0,0.11891668744258055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174234500356068,0.0,0.11217900637239528,0.0,0.0,0.10905674064575754,0.0,0.0,0.06301688694302901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371994304291941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965801610440112,0.0,0.3304059876107534,0.17510407994967775
mentalhealth,FemmeBasketCase,2019/03/22,"About to start Xanax, what to expect? I'm starting at .35 mg for sleep and panic attacks. How soon does it take effect and what should I watch out for!",1.665053763440859,3.717279161290328,2.143225806451614,98.1015053763441,79.96774193548387,4.133333333333334,16.78494623655914,3.1291,-1.0530731182795698,118,2,26,0,3,36,26,31,0.194,0.8059999999999999,0.0,-0.7574,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,2,0,7,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4297633605631186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33058557192989074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4432270062450893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780388176410584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5347694376705617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28403301810592274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kingofrondebosch,2019/03/22,"Hard time I'm 25. I live in the middle no where my family is poor and we live in a trailer park. People don't ever ask to hangout or respond when I ask to hangout. I was a loser in college (had to be an RA bc. my parents couldn't afford anything. ) so I worked really hard on internships to get a good job and now I'm jobless. My sister ruined my relationship with my girlfriend and she cheated on me, along with every other girl I've dated, so I dumped her.  I live 40 minutes from the city so I can't go clubbing. I have no money anyway. I was religiously brainwashed from an early age so I feel guilty about everything and feel shitty all the time. ",1.0800952380952396,3.212992570370375,3.5544179894179915,86.75416666666668,82.55555555555556,5.634920634920635,22.235449735449734,6.868970318607317,0.7598783068783068,507,17,102,6,14,176,88,135,0.224,0.755,0.021,-0.9774,4,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,2,10,5,2,0,8,0,9,0,0,0,2,14,17,10,0,1,1,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,8,0,0,2,3,2,1,5,4,0,0,3,4,19,1,15,12,1,16,0,2,0,0,11,7,0,1,8,69,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610819446391142,0.0,0.36599141195158585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17706309574113355,0.16492410475115038,0.0,0.1759235174641878,0.0,0.1845315244042219,0.0,0.197949706888172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226899337158893,0.0,0.11124673160281694,0.16418211653114778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35069920639791363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942472972598764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5185408351952121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173523163747149,0.0,0.0,0.13570534769068074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539963938818688,0.0,0.0,0.2101575114069907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282816591366189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250512320460407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway22449329,2019/03/22,"My brother has been feeling really sad lately, and I’m worried My brother (who’s 16) has been feeling sad lately for two weeks now. He wants to do things, even browse on his phone, but he eventually ends up just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling for who knows how long. Any advice?",6.744736842105263,5.955064175438597,6.93228070175439,79.20263157894739,65.14035087719299,9.003508771929825,33.03508771929825,7.793537801064563,2.276887719298245,226,8,44,2,3,73,46,57,0.102,0.855,0.043,-0.5413,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,9,10,4,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,3,3,0,7,8,0,10,0,2,1,0,8,4,0,0,6,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643511534549586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18396436600516144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23960236536568036,0.0,0.0,0.17867735533758994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735682953960217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867192102239288,0.0,0.6103216275511701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394036255785977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330344222273736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972292271070592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642608715114201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956099682719008,0.0,0.2169965834116636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27472841570922824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Exodizzy,2019/03/22,Tired of inapplicable advice from neurotypicals I’ve tried everything to be a worthwhile part of this world to no avail. I can’t even post in r/assistance without getting job offers outside my range of ability. I tried to explain that I couldn’t take the job and they gave me a buncha ableist crap. Why would god make anybody so worthless?,5.208281249999999,7.152674515625002,5.442625000000002,78.83987500000002,69.46875,8.245000000000001,33.1125,8.841846274778883,2.90781625,275,13,49,5,5,87,53,64,0.173,0.725,0.103,-0.685,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,4,2,1,1,0,6,9,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,6,0,9,5,1,3,0,1,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,29,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529461050198326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096857909337115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326384993753895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523891230427054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5137391565793575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17278498669435166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803103013794529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479076105426997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19462366346026413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975110326528525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514855412616695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335726768308731,0.0,0.0,0.24952303183315316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838802535590183,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pomelopeel,2019/03/22,"I finally spoke to my parents about my anxiety!!! Even though I never had a direct conversation with my parents about my mental health, I always felt they were very dismissive of the subject. Tonight was the first time I finally sit down with them and have an honest (and slightly tipsy) conversation about my debilitating anxiety and how it has prevented me from finding work and moving forward. They were surprisingly understanding and agreed to support me through therapy. I thought I would share my happy news here!",9.749887640449435,10.350666460674162,9.11829213483146,61.3927191011236,58.550561797752806,12.513258426966292,42.51910112359551,11.979248473330829,5.638238651685393,421,22,62,12,5,134,63,89,0.036000000000000004,0.769,0.195,0.9333,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,2,7,5,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,1,1,16,12,7,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,7,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,2,17,5,11,4,0,10,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,7,51,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572047494897989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890615984385804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478636776106936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140226042656454,0.4139267775654509,0.17267843755804027,0.1607036128725055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2011193121516215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20082356952094205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903968271180506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008025047360636,0.0,0.0,0.1457143284140083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.419568425282986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21439532681360246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160577206108449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562259409331505,0.14998917760995234,0.11016650045704418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19668261108975107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15588689219201313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754316295077962,0.0,0.0,0.13421032722090395,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spec1al_Kid,2019/03/22,How do you know if someone is a sociopath or psykopath. How do you know if someone is a sociopath or psykopath? How do i know Im not a socio/psykopath?,-0.061875000000000575,2.182736562500004,1.1737500000000018,100.89625,89.625,3.2,29.875,3.1291,0.5407249999999997,118,7,27,0,4,37,15,32,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,3,0,11,8,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155520394591897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6342784787526009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6519258499956833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,andhonest,2019/03/22,"Timing and Anxiety I think back to my childhood sometimes, at the little things that caused me to panic. I couldn’t figure the math problem out. Suddenly felt hot, couldn’t breathe, and needed help to calm down. I wonder sometimes if that was the start of my anxiety. If as I grew older, it just followed along waiting to add something to the list of things that cause me to have an anxiety attack. I haven’t sought counseling yet. I’m not even sure how to explain how I feel emotionally when these things happen. I can only explain the physical part. I don’t know. Does anyone else think back to when the little stuff started and think maybe if I had known then it wouldn’t be this bad? ",4.4614925373134335,5.9493888805970165,4.694208955223882,85.2742985074627,70.6417910447761,7.44955223880597,26.832835820895525,7.908726449838941,1.5562262686567156,546,18,105,7,10,171,85,134,0.151,0.812,0.037000000000000005,-0.923,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,9,6,1,1,7,0,10,1,1,4,1,33,26,12,0,8,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,1,11,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,3,3,13,2,15,19,1,19,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,4,12,74,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3286228794045122,0.0,0.0,0.10012269293496726,0.1467164181030963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290078627408838,0.0,0.2202105565982564,0.119558762290237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29419383734435384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530767985359506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961796514244367,0.16107095011393532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094576509425865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240182847808388,0.0,0.13748611247308554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662360205481654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959781163846693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869419890041146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28703061956203424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385491656802415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617454159065816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890344328832956,0.0,0.16800414935472646,0.0,0.15506223424891746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370147447400338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102356657131698,0.2832397328873137,0.0,0.20270309166826306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391979110575408,0.0,0.0,0.1349561145621403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853898300936597,0.27525362786199875,0.0,0.0,0.08349600405743003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552848669720278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Electrical_Citron,2019/03/22,"How can I find a psychiatrist to straight up prescribe me strong narcotics until I'm retirement age? I'm 28M and I've long given up on life.

I have a real brain to mouth problem with speech and can't pass interviews or have meaningful friendships. It's also caused social anxiety which makes the problem even worse. My mind just goes blank from anxiety.

I've been at my job that I find boring as hell for two years, and I am socially isolated. I've worked a lot of different job and taken all kinds of career tests. The conclusion I've come to is that I just hate to work and feel like the middle years of life are a 40 year prison sentence. I hate working so much that I just want to get on some kind of strong medication so I don't even have to think until I'm retirement age. 

I've turned off my personality, emotions, and everything, but thinking still makes everything worse. I'm very absent-minded and tend to just get lost in daydreams when I'm doing things that don't interest me, which is almost everything. And then I end up putting up with insults and complaints on the job when I overlook something. I just want to go through the motions in peace without being noticed. I want to just be a vegetable.

I've tried anti depressants. They didn't work. I've tried therapy. It doesn't work. I've studied CBT and methods of hypnosis and psychological control to use on myself, and it was also ineffective.

Doctors here in rural Iowa really don't know or care what's going on with me.

I was told by an autism specialist that I don't have autism when I was a little kid. I thought about going to get tested again as an adult, but they wanted $1000 for it.  The greatest problems that autistic people face are the few problems I don't have. Understanding other people's emotions and behaviors is something I do intuitively. My problem is that I can't put my thoughts into words and have a conversation.

Please don't respond if you are just going to give a bingo answer like ""You have autism,"" or ""See a therapist."" I want to know what I can do to basically go into a coma until I'm old and free to do what I want.",4.1891349321891065,5.525997788598577,5.290299593900851,81.32237912803619,71.11401425178147,8.282614359052946,28.782545398820012,8.748949900417786,2.2063489541031336,1683,64,327,30,31,556,206,421,0.145,0.759,0.096,-0.9679,4,0,3,0,0,0,41.0,0,2,2,11,21,22,4,0,19,0,37,9,3,6,1,72,80,35,0,12,14,0,1,2,0,0,5,1,0,3,18,21,1,1,13,0,1,10,11,13,0,1,11,3,35,10,51,67,6,46,1,2,1,0,15,19,1,7,19,209,53,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705038632787271,0.0,0.0,0.12306750802039534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772708430491945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589727515754665,0.0,0.0,0.07845165883071996,0.0790448220322946,0.0,0.06628223640860124,0.0,0.0,0.08630157386975394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627354771372207,0.0,0.0,0.0803922785965471,0.0,0.07875757545601808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310797127848765,0.06815138988324869,0.0,0.0,0.10164432298767333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746253108560125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03890625105218706,0.0549702963863095,0.0,0.0,0.1406546499835858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060345610566532,0.0738136932989292,0.2186511582419064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193665164243933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22907134035831614,0.0,0.0,0.16025500733201342,0.0845751087542473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869858662639133,0.07518393797927939,0.07712018866847853,0.0,0.06809486125635425,0.0,0.0,0.08399573807544186,0.06541680733530654,0.0,0.0,0.10272421452008462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775150825202579,0.0,0.0,0.15538721600290867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056564223831520474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760362440152973,0.08074196938027277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668944974716588,0.06718635089149498,0.0,0.0844636916088053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681350436005012,0.0,0.15470413020802784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758148700649923,0.04929363047399438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131606514570888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568736811891449,0.0,0.1184737064047988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144924051510995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799455073409297,0.08934033187106212,0.05111955784710587,0.09860788485349603,0.0,0.1221731883632707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352527884430636,0.0,0.1044826776678859,0.0836952416394624,0.07516514145332187,0.0801035850564382,0.0,0.06645670957758927,0.0,0.06348857613136205,0.2723087567603929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417327726242966,0.0,0.2800883207547939,0.0,0.1568292625797009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865226217852592
mentalhealth,imissyabubs,2019/03/22,"I've had this eerie feeling that I'm not supposed to live a long life since high school I think. Is that my depression? Have I been depressed that long and not realized it? I have never been able to see myself as anything, as in when people say ""I see myself as a successful business woman."" I live with this constant feeling of me not making it that long in life and it makes it hard for me to do things that will give me a better future. ",3.0012380952380937,4.372060266666665,3.977619047619047,89.44500000000002,74.1111111111111,6.476190476190476,23.968253968253972,6.868970318607317,0.7448253968253966,344,10,72,3,7,111,55,90,0.123,0.774,0.103,-0.4469,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,3,0,8,2,0,2,1,13,17,6,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,12,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,6,11,2,11,13,0,10,0,2,2,0,3,3,0,0,7,52,23,2,0.17900055010581434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730220090177226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831144024318167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343600355394652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30834582302812485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101611299649126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171363836835438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034933360363002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18912390899895534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25286676442982114,0.0,0.0,0.3161215303710732,0.4752295620744873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23896851431536426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380562592754851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409644317221373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234842200014924,0.0,0.18115811309036445,0.2852805263099727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807110478817534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189200116861711,0.11469632478237733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lanslarf,2019/03/22,"I share this brain and body with two other people and we need to tell our peers My name is Trash Andersen and I am one of three people inhabiting this body and brain. The guy you see in this photo believes he has some form of multiple personality ""dissorder"". we don't see it as a dissorder because we are good for him. the other person with us is Vicky. I'm omitting our legal name because we don't want people informing his family for him.He will have a panic attack if that happens. I say he believes he has a disorder and not, has a disorder, because he hasn't seen a doctor or phsyciatrist about it and he doesn't want to self diagnose. I know he does but that's not our big problem. Me and Vicky don't get to openly socialize or even be ourselfs around people because he is afraid people will look at him like a crazy person. He doesnt want to ruin his personal relationships or make strangers think he is insane. We need help to figure out what we should do so we can live our lives like he gets to live his. Any advice. ",3.479759615384616,4.905553610576924,4.910769230769233,83.0092307692308,72.99038461538461,8.084615384615384,25.01923076923077,8.660442795831766,1.6746576923076923,813,25,164,15,16,272,116,208,0.085,0.812,0.103,0.7744,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,12,1,0,0,4,9,1,2,8,0,22,6,4,1,0,41,38,14,0,8,7,0,0,2,0,3,2,1,0,6,10,19,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,5,0,3,1,5,24,4,18,33,2,6,0,1,4,0,43,6,0,5,2,103,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321942833098856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183133662990011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403219739249943,0.0,0.1201682273247966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575618120735665,0.0,0.0,0.23801540422751355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23465999518552585,0.0,0.2358337770173184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721120325408663,0.0,0.0,0.24211995185164786,0.10811574904123936,0.09243664258841476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976695290562199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957761277585482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037357713064612,0.0,0.0,0.08859658682950143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458930889710988,0.09340736864710956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080088667290424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805093148351241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320997978206237,0.0,0.2798170050469481,0.0,0.08870174981190097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705081722818783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664511807211265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157693857678647,0.0,0.0,0.12393286289729315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36614921508896897,0.3689246455301572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107267969269662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340600669932918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400041395574545,0.0,0.0,0.16834526134420733,0.0,0.11019407532580316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076754550176099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232439466244284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768279286518694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031841765438151,0.0,0.12705867143980715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18690814843633485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,biig_mat,2019/03/22,Impulsive or great? Was going through a lot and decided to get a dog. Besides the money she’s been amazing but was my decision too fast or was it a good investment for someone with a lot of anxiety? (No matter what is said I ain’t bribing her back just an fyi lolz),3.2573636363636362,4.283921236363638,5.219772727272726,82.12965909090909,73.0,9.136363636363637,31.931818181818183,9.516144504307137,2.9847272727272727,208,10,43,5,4,72,48,55,0.036000000000000004,0.743,0.221,0.8577,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,11,9,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,5,1,4,3,5,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,33,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670619114458154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684377253597415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823912750109879,0.0,0.19840259054979387,0.29281001583064065,0.0,0.3848859524961568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5935877104507402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332075742847852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957928111632773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,new-account-new,2019/03/22,"Writing some things out My history with my mental health hasn’t been great but the more things have been moving the more I realize how unstable and unsustainable it is in the state that I’m in. I’m in my second semester of college which has been interesting in that it has allowed me to better separate myself from the place that I come from
Being around people constantly has made me realize that the way my mind changes from one thing to the next like isn’t .. normal? My mood swings tend to be frequent and drastic, from a state of extreme panic to sadness to extreme euphoria and anger. I get extremely panicked about projects specifically (so multiple times a week) and emotionally break down very frequently that tend to be directed towards myself or one other person (guy that I’m dating but is basically my best friend and I care a lot about)
Only at one point recently has this really affected more people around me other than myself or one other person but I think that in itself has caused me to realize how completely unsustainable my current methods are
The way I think about things also changes constantly. I tend to devote myself solely to one person intensely but that even shifts depending on the time from complete devotion to utter dismissal, I can go from one extreme to the other very very quickly despite it being to a person I care about deeply and been through so much with. I tend to isolate myself and as a result my anger tends to be released towards myself and said one other person, scared of being abandoned tend to turn suicidal/ think about it a lot when completely alone. I also tend to be very destructive (luckily not a lot of exposure to substances just based on who I’ve been associated with ) but subsequently engage in self destructive behaviors when I can.
I know I need to do something about this especially when I’m in a place where I have more freedom and could get more help on my own. I also know I need to prepare myself because I know I’m going to be alone for a little while soon. 
I know self diagnosis is a bad way to gauge, but I recently read a description on borderline personality disorder and don’t know when I’ve related to anything more. The way that I am has effected so much and I don’t know what to do",10.457505827505829,7.888888142191143,10.208496503496502,64.32248834498836,59.18648018648019,13.72913752913753,41.31585081585081,12.161744961471696,4.9984648018648015,1819,75,316,45,18,600,188,429,0.135,0.743,0.122,-0.7686,2,2,2,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,25,21,4,2,21,0,35,1,0,9,0,60,68,33,1,4,10,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,9,28,18,0,1,13,1,0,4,5,9,0,8,7,1,42,11,64,52,14,53,0,2,0,0,14,23,0,7,20,250,70,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077356976075287,0.0,0.17462646571773174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598986149259491,0.12959413753580482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060775236794808424,0.04437110615222016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638688881974573,0.06437538569992031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842515983483925,0.07477369197237202,0.1540008582758406,0.06270072347600196,0.22895161887637794,0.15731670835548206,0.0,0.0581155793341295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342176193504472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187710332911803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04807602258067825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623610319973133,0.0,0.07605782344574173,0.0,0.08273460011891977,0.0,0.0,0.08024941933196993,0.0,0.07207191609811298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737061857195353,0.0,0.0,0.04878850063902242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400154608964601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035560714004996566,0.0729530547869668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856461717191707,0.0,0.06887410229002602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733535427310722,0.0,0.07349548981904794,0.0,0.0,0.0773625030134062,0.10701563342647298,0.10794328718606028,0.0,0.0,0.07741124225276247,0.0,0.07131713433894496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452629160900731,0.05535882462174575,0.0,0.08540145250715457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092456212801804,0.3813359087017109,0.15209667938222135,0.0,0.06880852358995114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280805345081996,0.0,0.046630084634215335,0.0,0.1437394403733968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923839481525057,0.0,0.0728738422752213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186825948344868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603603247989058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961864731323738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19342939734428985,0.13991951816407422,0.0,0.0,0.08488695133346942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917282950356383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24023206648356585,0.0,0.2311040355391717,0.05838642856739455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darkoadam,2019/03/22,"I keep trying to do the right thing but it's so hard lately Like the title says, I want to do the things that are good for me like going to the gym everyday, keeping up with college, pursue my hobbies but I'm really struggling. I just don't enjoy my life right now, I haven't suffered from mental health problems in a while but they're coming back.

I feel like shit, I'm gaining weight, I'm losing friends, I'm constantly stressed at the back of my mind, and I just dunno where to start to get help. I have desperately tried to think of things I got taught back in therapy but I'll be honest, they didn't work shit then, nor do they now. I'm just really stuck and unhappy with myself at the moment... I need to figure out how to get passed this and remain strong ",3.009599156118142,4.243394664556963,4.108291139240507,89.05944092827005,73.87341772151899,7.038818565400844,22.02742616033755,7.492282038375204,0.6631755274261599,599,14,129,7,12,195,97,158,0.207,0.5920000000000001,0.202,-0.2449,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,4,11,15,2,2,7,0,9,5,2,1,0,25,28,12,0,3,7,0,3,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,6,7,1,2,3,1,0,3,4,7,0,0,4,4,16,8,20,23,0,24,0,2,0,0,5,9,2,1,15,79,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337508587635417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246293416708235,0.0,0.15634809862815027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315475032590536,0.103359696674127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177970733619208,0.0,0.15117906045512405,0.0,0.08222519753034663,0.12135104347085535,0.11571412149707284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960520774110576,0.0,0.0,0.15378848476888118,0.0,0.0,0.09697621301092572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25719714949593364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320577725343874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219203534627697,0.2120505855478727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186034413582212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458037999082284,0.0,0.14608594612833187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727867298797826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843958989873975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18537192006217668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24711251826486186,0.0,0.11505565000071995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29702467425271845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240552188381233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657308933505766,0.15125135293741676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545463042322406,0.0,0.2883576589833489,0.0927053494173351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964569700617962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853362402083046,0.0,0.0,0.1761817330373832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532904415043727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gottabefaster,2019/03/22,"How do I stop bringing stress home from work? I'm a 21 yo beta male who gets a lot of crap at work and school... and then just brings it home for his friends and family to enjoy... :/

How do I stop this?",0.12681818181818372,1.5543898636363664,1.8409090909090933,101.45636363636366,82.18181818181819,5.3090909090909095,15.545454545454547,5.985473137389443,-0.9792090909090908,150,2,40,1,4,49,34,44,0.253,0.685,0.062,-0.8156,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,1,1,2,0,2,1,1,2,0,9,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,5,6,1,6,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,3,23,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25415312063209394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082908442476656,0.0,0.14085389416908534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5408578063827956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22920268675917016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728476978049047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4507922121586248,0.3088237437416734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39254129488655015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anincredibleusername,2019/03/22,"Is mental health a crutch for me? Try to gather my thoughts...
I've been having trouble finding therapy. There's been a learning curve for me here in Oregon and it seems that even though I knew I had medicare original and Moda Health, I didn't know I had medicaid through OSIPM, plus I made some mistakes communicating that I'm fairly certain my issues involve anxiety or some form of anxiety... but, no I'll leave that to another post because I'm getting a headache now.

Any way, I'm finding the more I search for therapy, the more I feel almost like pleading or begging for help in a way because I hate doing this and it hurts my head and I feel like I'm on a timeline because my issues involve insecurities about my age...
So, but, I'm wondering is me... uh
I don't know how articulate I'm being, but is me looking for a therapy really hard... maybe a sign that I'm using it as a crutch ? Like is it just giving me a venue for me to th ink about my problems and make them worse by trying to get help when I should just solve the problem myself or maybe I'm making it hard when its not because I'm relating to my age? 
I feel like I don't know what I'm doing? I feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong? Like what if I'm just making myself be some kind of attention whore what if I turn into someone that just focuses on imaginary problems all day? How do I know my problems are real and not things i can get over? Why is th is so hard how do I ground myself when I have no one to refer to? But I should be able to think clearly on my own without help? But I don't have any close friends...
I'm so confused...",2.8824107142857147,3.959704943452383,4.647433333333336,85.68090000000002,73.97023809523809,7.399809523809522,27.428095238095242,7.839951260653429,1.5669596666666663,1255,47,267,17,25,427,156,336,0.162,0.7190000000000001,0.119,-0.9463,0,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,1,0,20,21,1,2,12,0,29,4,1,9,3,70,67,28,0,9,17,0,7,6,1,2,2,0,0,0,16,9,0,0,18,0,0,0,9,12,1,1,8,8,40,9,30,54,8,20,0,1,1,1,9,9,0,12,14,174,56,1,0.0876107529336341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772951371599334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191566325912051,0.0918675133731855,0.13404397238610813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362680725893696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05650168778544009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057866076035975524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771945163673243,0.1877674182037331,0.0,0.0,0.16014928195745382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768785038865649,0.0,0.13731900722204052,0.08404421739224939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354460783687421,0.0864974804117604,0.08991390821274188,0.18625226700989544,0.0,0.0,0.17617092280800842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378912302414684,0.0,0.0,0.182885728149012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123311727448573,0.19259431437278346,0.0,0.0,0.09276713736263313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25681313095984665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357096713229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828994127651892,0.17544257367553973,0.0,0.26405033102218656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829103268809807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05936731357193777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390688346147153,0.0,0.0,0.335326633867427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972021727325583,0.05612569173082812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975753904101929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423230665302892,0.0674470378824337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005715939973178,0.0,0.05820469130705535,0.0561374329127177,0.08607711993320656,0.06955315161323808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189639006421524,0.0952953411307745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566756108914985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390826754676784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905507754170536,0.0,0.0,0.0844536394310141,0.09501012433201797,0.0,0.0,0.08928284203539341,0.0,0.0957886049665221,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JasonHackman,2019/03/22,"Therapist or Psychiatrist? Who did you get your diagnosis from? Recently I sat down with psychiatrist who spent 3 hours with me and listened to my story before giving me giving me a diagnosis that hit the nail right on the head. I'm finally getting the help I need. Until then I had been misdiagnosed by other psychiatrists who gave me 50 minutes, sped me through, and gave me meds that didn't get to the root of the problem.  The therapists I've worked with had a full understanding of by past and behavior, but were very reluctant to put a diagnosis to it.

I've seen many folks online tell people to go see a therapist for their diagnosis, but it doesn't seem like they would have the medical training to do so. What's been your experience? ",7.147394366197183,7.128303422535215,8.03531690140845,69.0680457746479,64.07042253521126,12.170422535211268,34.651408450704224,11.698219412168324,4.181602816901409,594,24,111,18,8,201,93,142,0.059,0.902,0.039,-0.5782,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,2,1,1,2,0,0,11,0,11,2,1,1,0,15,29,9,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,9,6,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,12,3,15,1,19,15,1,13,0,0,2,0,15,4,0,2,8,74,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792769652258285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855632394134894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775630174173182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540579298268473,0.31098535179571635,0.09212018031806918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663523633420492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864633345311103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596272088783995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918958650119702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433506406027334,0.0,0.0,0.18004681355769714,0.16328985943984795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018859177916133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473441821784786,0.1123736483695062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550994143848023,0.0,0.16294645412930375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16004553290863907,0.0,0.0,0.1384250231384958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916572276667235,0.1475617663334881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167487781182234,0.0,0.0,0.5646012269827316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874268489716598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337422387419488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800434454763235,0.0,0.0,0.1151449578114872,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abrecadabreee,2019/03/22,"Do I have a mental illness ? This might be long...but hear me out, 

Let me give a little background to my life and who I am... 

I grew up in a southern US small town with a lot of bible thumpers, drug addicts, rednecks, etc etc you get it. 

I am an only child. My mom and dad divorced when I was three. My dad had a drug problem and decided to move me away to western US to let him get his shit together. During this time, he died when I was 7..

This caused me and my mom to move back to my original town so I could be with my family. I basically grew up with my dads family more than my moms naturally because we were coping with our mourning of my father together. 

This side of the family are very religious Christians who basically brainwashed me to no end (my conclusion now in life being 22). They hated my mother because she was “atheist” if you wanna say...and they thought she wasn’t a good mother to me. 

Well....she wasn’t. She was a single mother who was still in a college mindset (she had me at 19) 
and never showed me any affection whatsoever. She was like my roommate. Always bringing guys home and locking her door for hours. And we would fight like sisters. I pretty much viewed my grandma as my mom.  She bought me everything took me everything and showed me so much love. 

At 16 years old I moved to Germany. Crazy right. From a small town to Germany. My mom had met someone online married him and so we moved there. 

My first year there my grandma was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer...I was away and she became sicker and sicker.  November of my senior year she died. I had lost my father now, my mom was never a mom, and now the only one who truly took care of me, my grandma, was gone. 

My relationship with my mother throughout high school and first few years of college gradually improved, but I still don’t ever talk to her often. She’s a very selfish woman. 

Anyways, now that I explained some of my background...I wanted to talk about why I’m writing this post in the first place. 

I have done my fair share of drugs in college, weed, alcohol, MDMA, coke, speed, ket...in fact there was a year that I was getting fucked up every single weekend. European Techno parties man. Now, I have stopped all of that. But I still feel like it has taken an enormous  toll on my emotional state and my personality in general. 

I spend my days not happy. I spend my days thinking about questions like why are we here, what are we, what will happen when we die? These questions race through my head daily. I feel like I’m just waiting to die, nothing ever makes me happy because I know all moments have an end. 

I always am stuck on the fact that there is an end. To everything. Happy moments, and life in general.  I am such an introvert now, when I used to be outgoing. I snap at people, when I used to be chill. I never answer my phone or my messages. Heck, lucky if I even open them before 3 days. 

I don’t know why I am like this. My past? I feel like I didn’t have the greatest childhood ever. My dads death?  mom not giving a fuck?  my religious grandparents who told me to hate my mom and Jesus is the only way if not I’m gonna burn in hell? My grandmas death?? Everything combined?????? Drugs??? 

I am willing to see someone, I just don’t want to feel crazy and in my head. I want to be happy. And not think these ways. Idk if this is straight up depression? I’ve never come to terms with my mental problems, but it’s getting to the point where I can’t really bare it. ",1.6402223122910122,3.866913269064748,3.2365264971121697,89.29310568446655,81.05755395683454,5.929881446955112,23.17002735839497,7.140073416326624,0.8886256966257982,2682,93,549,35,71,884,306,695,0.134,0.7659999999999999,0.1,-0.9862,3,0,5,0,2,0,118.0,9,2,3,5,35,29,7,0,25,0,57,20,3,6,11,98,104,35,7,12,14,20,4,7,0,5,13,1,2,5,24,34,2,2,15,4,3,11,16,13,0,5,31,7,117,16,67,59,14,101,3,3,2,3,77,36,5,12,56,376,141,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05305467929232942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05201067902812784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099039628847303,0.0,0.0,0.03309551941203394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144929988361032,0.03742224749972204,0.0,0.08900163582363799,0.0,0.041412396070419084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04961968560263416,0.04999485385288995,0.0,0.04192267927349934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038856980560213285,0.0,0.0,0.09415939327512016,0.0,0.04191718378347877,0.049396414224682286,0.2020364235881894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980367505387392,0.0,0.0,0.2257550589308306,0.0,0.0,0.05474430520763505,0.12931468587628495,0.0,0.10855409209018624,0.032144376709890565,0.13206742265057814,0.041004406473050696,0.0,0.1749565820995023,0.0,0.13763795738372095,0.0,0.09843085405509508,0.1043040592700975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418946628942172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998450456546704,0.10170688827144557,0.09337246169810576,0.0,0.040819928972826526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04818840446656363,0.04303644519682556,0.20722952512935267,0.0,0.09609801753564272,0.09989364183781994,0.0,0.054851727559651384,0.0,0.0,0.051419808924319625,0.048817397638363916,0.0,0.04792761254158593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349269051467207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953148337896853,0.10312572941555606,0.166435126697874,0.04877754750352442,0.0,0.04306914164792917,0.0,0.0,0.05312624586126146,0.04137530629033627,0.043924253202772816,0.0,0.03248588560289445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809063994825068,0.05162844947004926,0.0,0.5129883234636274,0.0,0.2069030927764316,0.07155231755986861,0.0,0.1501412806096554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669770902097936,0.0,0.05106827816390077,0.0,0.03297830823234246,0.11104131440191133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04645856615110091,0.03373986625952282,0.04249452029073998,0.0508471031498192,0.0,0.04600644946064457,0.0,0.04660994239287298,0.049512269776416463,0.0,0.09313631041089483,0.0,0.0,0.1090373131838791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031177600101608725,0.0,0.0,0.052250603597937234,0.0,0.04156171696327672,0.0,0.03870229152236125,0.0,0.049254034614144314,0.03878163853087755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995641470971293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082471506366376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659761082144693,0.040688148370091284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823406907978872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236824456355885,0.0,0.03863650103777711,0.02837836820671005,0.0,0.0,0.04650381234095582,0.10814260477908268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708184545609583,0.08406606270852474,0.0,0.08031144870485532,0.0861159285774332,0.07725987694885418,0.0,0.0,0.04375786182720123,0.0,0.13174435009643626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034571943986755935,0.0,0.0,0.15670113764653096
mentalhealth,clark-duke,2019/03/22,Serious advice needed Hello I am a 22 year old and I have been hearing voices and see things that makes me believe people are out to hurt me. I have asked my family and work for help but nothing has happened. I have been homeless in the past and I’m scared I may be again. I’ve looked for mental health but it seems like no one accepts my insurance. If anyone has suggestions please help. I’m in desperate need.,0.8422453450164298,3.3723447469879564,2.4226067907995663,91.13299014238777,89.48192771084337,5.427820372398687,19.593647316538892,6.980632752743323,0.5540698795180727,326,10,65,5,11,106,62,83,0.142,0.6990000000000001,0.159,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,1,2,0,11,1,0,1,0,14,22,7,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,4,9,2,6,18,0,7,0,1,2,0,6,3,0,3,5,41,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19890775707552785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423276461534932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19029278004298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293323600500239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188984024080585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999954555401865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21636527685514248,0.22941685793134134,0.0,0.27287199308849597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179056383570613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944477468151842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17093163941175324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587192479996366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051316103483652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30186108949027096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531274861916548,0.0,0.2135926148102583,0.0,0.13793147802550967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431253571348198,0.14111668763514515,0.0,0.0,0.2234379578021515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20379013830311854,0.0,0.16220385488328126,0.1853052560694806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523029116472504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481876086674879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108022019557428
mentalhealth,TomatoTerminator,2019/03/22,"How to handle suicidal thoughts? I have had suicidal thoughts almost every day for at least the past 10 years. It used to be very passive, just a silly though that would pop into my head and I push it away no problem. Over time it got worse, especially over the past year. 
It has escalated to the point of a vague plan forming on some days.
Today I wrote a note. I've never done that. It was upsetting to write and read, but then I deleted it and I felt much better than I had before I wrote it.
I don't like this. I told my primary care doctor about this. She was a wonderful listener and suggested we up my antidepressants for now and check back in 2 weeks.
I told her I have never told anyone about these thoughts before. She urged me to tell my therapist and a friend, but also gave me her personal number for emergencies.
I hate this. I want it to stop. I scared and embarrassed.
What do I do?",1.6235087719298242,3.942181444444447,3.1825146198830403,89.1192105263158,81.7777777777778,6.900584795321637,21.140350877192983,8.032893268588372,1.056666666666667,700,21,147,14,19,230,113,180,0.16699999999999998,0.7120000000000001,0.121,-0.7896,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,2,9,10,1,3,8,0,13,2,1,2,2,30,30,13,2,3,3,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,1,15,9,0,1,5,1,1,1,4,5,0,0,16,2,26,5,21,12,4,25,0,0,0,0,17,9,0,3,16,106,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053933040457733,0.0,0.0,0.10425093797181163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115257311173043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247997024676335,0.1002408059146755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22185797135713908,0.0,0.0,0.11529514121350705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291337657038946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681462070818529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343166276373974,0.0,0.13340621845200568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983612758539074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516855621522865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071783476271126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426289392225836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870609554713408,0.1337896549859732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636885899522353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583152344494132,0.0,0.2010873741547069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24889173813845414,0.0,0.11382760912296748,0.0,0.0,0.1232348102887742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473941891887745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303978952953015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051572187944002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898898533082857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851910892774497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394267350232724,0.0,0.0,0.15136104640597145,0.0,0.0,0.12808060962940052,0.3104800695184388,0.07601549050748889,0.0,0.12356851831828256,0.3737012022484915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259144545017988,0.0,0.10756281196645948,0.07689124927408185,0.0,0.1045690282619686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137269758622004,0.0,0.0,0.13285064423870369,0.09260586305766844,0.0,0.0,0.16789850289511804
mentalhealth,neongroantube,2019/03/22,"Possible diagnosis? Hello all! Before I get started, I know that self-diagnosis isn’t always accurate or healthy. However, I also know that having a potential name helps me and my doctor/Therapist tremendously. If it makes a difference, I have also been professionally diagnosed with Chronic Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, etc. 

I’m not sure when it started, but I noticed it around 7th grade (I am in 10th now). Anytime I would skip breakfast because I was late to the bus, or my mom didn’t have time to make one, my stomach would growl around 3-4 hours later, sometimes sooner. That’s normal. What isn’t normal is that whenever it would, I liked it. I liked the way it vibrated and I liked the way it hurt. It made me wanna continue to not eat so I could feel it again.

I think the weirdest part is, I don’t really have body issues. Yeah my hips could be rounder, and maybe my arms a little beefier, and god my acne is bad, but I’m not ugly, and I’m not fat or super skinny. If anything I’m just average. I don’t hate my body. 

Is this a thing? Starving yourself for no reason? Is this some weird form of self harm? Is there actually some hate deep down that I don’t recognize??? Please help, I hate feeling like this.",2.408581044205931,4.625269665271965,4.212399490631256,83.36983445515737,78.2887029288703,7.50380207385847,25.45406585410224,8.456263369488248,1.9178235764962703,946,36,184,20,23,319,143,239,0.192,0.6759999999999999,0.132,-0.9635,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,1,10,14,3,0,8,1,25,11,7,4,2,42,43,16,0,10,12,1,2,4,0,3,3,0,0,1,19,8,4,0,6,0,0,0,11,8,0,1,4,2,26,6,11,33,6,18,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,7,14,121,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.10773896291140156,0.0,0.13268487355437114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17658103642540987,0.09186547098786968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445921631264007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085357818413968,0.1965670011129866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218322885467352,0.06730161902576946,0.0,0.0939461823645061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24526924188674765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629817775510925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509131964334952,0.11205834434244373,0.0,0.11534930790039227,0.0,0.11300378567892462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297146767425252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313031241390353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164776543754892,0.07887306783605183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057681846378968636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270050541721637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800375143145722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872629104751184,0.0,0.11819040704720522,0.0,0.0,0.11523371770674935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135096094691172,0.0,0.12454119695349584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21575244196420576,0.11065441287838744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044675013772059,0.14739185474476796,0.0,0.11091625943457104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930453240518885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163461324954656,0.0,0.12569636811757678,0.0,0.0,0.07481301381355171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955742224718725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119109620816647,0.0,0.12446459717208312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072801341542215,0.11351431599261827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23035215094249675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919297179617897,0.0,0.15628988733961838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405502830330993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818824927996253,0.0733479100328796,0.07074280932162108,0.0,0.0,0.06437780973168655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526806410704027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352847791481866,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RainePackett,2019/03/22,"DID and Psychopathy question If a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder got diagnosed as a psychopath,do all of the personalities have psychopathy or does only one of them have it? 
Please answer my stupid question",11.381666666666668,12.281371611111116,10.768888888888887,49.91500000000002,55.111111111111114,14.977777777777774,45.77777777777778,13.816669648895859,7.410711111111113,182,10,23,7,2,59,31,36,0.159,0.7809999999999999,0.06,-0.5859,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,8,4,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,4,0,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27067530262077705,0.0,0.0,0.30563919277472845,0.0,0.2333740826186843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21328892203137167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807097478798416,0.20282269371776795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46571061158821503,0.0,0.2927353320591976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5974868460847828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cllsj,2019/03/22,"Need some advice please. Hey everyone.

 I’m having a pretty rough time with my anxiety and depression flaring up (diagnosed with major depression 10 yrs ago, GAD 3 years ago). I’m currently working part time from home and in college full time. It’s gotten to the point where I am no longer sleeping, I stay up all night with a stomach ache and the jittery feeling. I finally can get myself to bed around 9-10am however it’s making it really hard for me to get to class and I’m falling behind. Most days I can’t get myself to leave the house. I try so hard. I even get myself to get ready and then I just freeze and feel like there is no way I can do it. I’m constantly paranoid something bad is going to happen for no reason. 

I think it’s important to note that I haven’t received treatment In what will be a year in April. I lost my health insurance, I am unable to get Medicaid due to making just a bit above the income limit (however just enough to pay only my bills) my employer does not offer health benefits and a plan through the marketplace is entirely over my budget, not to mention I looked at the providers and there are only 3 mental health providers that accept the insurance and they happen to be 3 hours away. I’ve been suicidal for a week now and I really want to get help and feel human again. I just feel like I have no options. I’ve considered checking myself into a psychiatric hospital but the debt I will be forced to pay afterwards I think is too much for me to handle. Not only that but once I get out I will be back in this same situation, not being able to get the follow up treatment I really need. 

I feel so entirely hopeless. I really just feel like there’s absolutely nothing I can do to fix this, but I’m hoping someone on here knows of any additional resources I’ve not thought of. Thanks so much to anyone that reads this.

Also to add, I’m in Ohio.",3.5716595396233286,4.989242084432718,5.011909744336276,82.4069393139842,72.74670184696568,8.499354016922936,26.525429897188612,9.035553425615538,2.1015294513693026,1486,51,294,31,29,498,195,379,0.131,0.802,0.067,-0.9586,6,0,1,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,1,4,20,12,0,0,16,0,25,6,2,3,1,56,64,19,1,4,13,0,10,3,0,3,4,0,2,1,13,19,0,1,12,1,6,4,11,5,0,0,4,11,36,7,47,52,11,45,0,4,1,0,7,18,0,4,24,189,49,7,0.08806847183172216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860594914077694,0.15613477306259602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042832510556572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05988958084215225,0.0,0.06737213989725972,0.0,0.0,0.061579523198703724,0.0,0.0,0.07839961153053576,0.0,0.0,0.08274322832271745,0.06771921869625361,0.07353349535696206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961479617060152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951707311522854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056796878608567226,0.0,0.15170649148133278,0.08938764508242962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706931318289874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099827358862587,0.0,0.05816839505131295,0.0,0.0,0.08415319892665761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671803931177109,0.18874840162048512,0.0,0.09647470613875714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4141092747595232,0.0,0.0500513420806975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557573175803944,0.0,0.15778410470089393,0.0,0.0,0.2808380018691441,0.0,0.0,0.05903044026509095,0.0,0.08833985791149758,0.08747186398104559,0.0867297047115375,0.10161919219443842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04840012892920175,0.0,0.0,0.09325179558631684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907742047991702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395533572723374,0.0,0.0961371404006781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175727776211317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875230568073708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294809201691192,0.13060331190333468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264629489217566,0.0,0.08450407394235755,0.0,0.0,0.09379004825679793,0.0,0.20094012403606548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953695727838262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667273560549132,0.08325317212673207,0.0,0.0,0.08959729704000162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880923044109415,0.0,0.22567567271002226,0.09054905682628124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989926522631782,0.08813207382883106,0.0,0.07462013039002496,0.06779941225230399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386927308957804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633261409251573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108161649029913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286144140146695,0.0,0.06991652929062295,0.1540603024589009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979271140742042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05194506646177492,0.06990465369008049,0.07064321589507742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411489638393092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342641684271892
mentalhealth,Margotsgirls,2019/03/22,"Does anyone ever get better? My mental health is steadily declining and I often feel like my life is falling apart. My doctor has tried getting me on anti-depressants twice but I just can’t do it. I’ve heard so many horror stories about side affects and them just not working. 

My mother has bipolar and will never come off medication and to be honest, she is really messed up even with the meds. I desperately want to feel ‘normal’. I know people say that no one is normal but I mean that feeling where you don’t have a massive cloud of despair over you and have the resilience to get through day to day issues. 

I am very lucky in that I have a very supportive husband, fantastic children and a great job. However I have no real friends or other support from siblings or parents and I feel like everything could slip away from me at any moment. 

I just want to know, will I ever feel better or is this it now? Are there alternatives to medication? I just don’t see things getting better and on my bad days this makes me feel like I shouldn’t be here.

",3.6517361507709865,5.505274990291261,4.601901770416905,83.65209308966307,73.36893203883493,6.9829811536265005,26.19531696173615,7.724431198458867,1.5180123358081103,832,29,157,11,17,270,126,206,0.112,0.665,0.223,0.9789,3,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,1,4,14,15,0,0,5,0,23,6,0,2,3,43,44,14,0,6,10,3,6,3,1,3,6,2,0,1,9,10,0,0,9,0,0,2,8,3,0,2,1,9,25,12,20,37,0,21,0,1,1,0,11,11,0,5,11,114,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697415239513967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914618096276389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063472106002104,0.0,0.09451023697548196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003262485884997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750451905696753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037426202681924,0.0,0.0,0.21899760499778065,0.0,0.09749173754775284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585637318561212,0.09905470992633524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476196764611627,0.2047765195640052,0.0,0.0,0.10172928883058292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433983675898595,0.2425922510455849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874515299369147,0.0,0.23655170417404145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479411086156693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031735097739005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814259603772308,0.11232517228137323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441425863240015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995055678147771,0.16589905781740985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075556255152141,0.11475849076675815,0.0,0.12329880824710687,0.12573032243238744,0.2280572065856881,0.11407048449537235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730032055522581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22180742099096967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670154053201524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568584853915676,0.0,0.0,0.0784727858450774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883679295640968,0.0725134212779066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001448348927041,0.0,0.0,0.09019903018423514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25689691549332283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519945270947555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768496492256964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867898072460576,0.1335266470654641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240481458807841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,calamitousvege,2019/03/22,"How do you help others when you are busy? Hi all, I am a first time poster on this subreddit. I recently went to a mental health seminar where we discussed how to recognize someone who may be struggling with mental health, the best way to approach them, and how to refer them to the resources available to them.   


One topic that I had a difficult time with was the concept of recognizing your own limits. In other words, before helping someone, check to see if you are in a state of mind or have the energy to be helping. If your tank is depleted and you cannot pay attention to the person in need, you could make the situation worse by coming off like you are pretending to care.  

​

My question is - how do you gauge that? Everyone is busy, everyone has their own issues to deal with, and if you try to help someone but quickly realize ""this is too much for me at the moment"", I suspect it would be worse to walk away or to pass it on to someone else, when you are the one they have a rapport with.  Is trying better than not trying? I don't want to do more damage by actively listening to them over a week and then I suddenly can't make time for them.   


I am asking from the perspective of a friend helping a friend/colleague. I know not to give advice since I am not the professional. But I can listen or just stick around when shit gets tough... until I can't?  ",6.270444444444442,5.900644414814818,6.726296296296294,78.89833333333334,65.96296296296296,10.014814814814816,31.703703703703702,9.558583805096642,2.706081481481482,1072,37,212,19,15,350,148,270,0.08,0.8,0.121,0.6663,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,11,7,4,12,10,1,1,18,0,31,3,1,6,1,44,45,21,0,7,12,0,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,1,9,11,0,1,6,1,2,5,7,5,0,3,3,3,32,5,42,36,6,32,1,1,1,0,35,11,1,8,15,168,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719337835912662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118855256084971,0.13329229458997546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765243884816363,0.10255068113010686,0.0,0.10306273061999432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334296984156673,0.0,0.11511888008376595,0.09701694127408472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184208730349447,0.0,0.0,0.09449314114667023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758309850989572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309146041157075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916366899594352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963790385267556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933071149902552,0.0,0.0,0.16950126705395274,0.0,0.05731148101439153,0.10523012072881163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23320282051045216,0.0,0.0,0.3676336110365659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449382152538165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060285893491464994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359178302044012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644547661291005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22109495018979916,0.0,0.11076139648967558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063896868860203,0.08133797910491304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866530424962596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578206291627032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288430037737365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831127995473046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741327861441972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260107006878495,0.09074142497570993,0.12330257424531245,0.0,0.0,0.3717792768356139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146777737098972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918933521620551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22342855966849404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470137194680571,0.08707134877848026,0.08799128191527822,0.0,0.0,0.10168902227581816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357860035858465,0.07792468514578843,0.0,0.13329229458997546,0.0
mentalhealth,revandavd,2019/03/22,I finally scheduled an appointment with a therapist but... My appointment isn't till the very end of July. I figured it would be better to schedule it regardless of the time it takes to see someone. July feels like a world away at the moment. I feel as if it is pointless. I don't know what to do with my mental health situation between now and then. ,3.16,5.145793043478264,4.799347826086958,81.1364130434783,75.08695652173913,8.078260869565218,28.89130434782609,8.841846274778883,2.5217130434782606,276,12,52,6,6,93,50,69,0.0,0.916,0.084,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,6,0,6,1,0,0,0,11,11,6,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,2,12,9,0,12,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,10,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517866214910381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23701650173488856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373607226984727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27100887841189025,0.1914530180463825,0.0,0.2935713388324393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848621899753763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728099434656108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092699858836848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700721696491664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21355434659432246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30123341777975504,0.0,0.0,0.2270681348429659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014960843896689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31115852186382204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626786565430675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211208654651541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037331036719649,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thebluntgal,2019/03/22,"Mental Health Blog I created a blog where I talk about my mental health and my weight loss journey as well as other things. 
Go check it out!    https://thebluntgal.com/",4.1208620689655175,7.489912034482759,3.106465517241382,85.70383620689658,83.82758620689657,5.658620689655173,17.594827586206893,7.1686216300943375,0.4199586206896551,135,3,23,2,4,39,23,29,0.077,0.775,0.14800000000000002,0.2714,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,4,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,15,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215633718901734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6065726356635882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.575079436753748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22933281098530076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895567424810478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474480495885885,0.25654075196584536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gunpas1111,2019/03/22,"Think I need therapy. But shame and embarrassment to talk about the issue is holding me back. ​

I have been semi-depressed for about 10 years. But probably since I was 15. I'm now 35. I feel like I need to talk about the issue, but I feel deeply embarrassed about the issue and I have never been able to fully disclose it since It makes me feel so ashamed. 

I have been to a few therapy sessions but we have been scratching on the surface of it. I just feel too embarrassed to talk about it: probably writing about is easier for the psychologist. It has now been 20 years like this. this time has made it even harder to tell about the issue. I feel like I will break down crying and die of shame If i tell a theraphist.

​

Tips?",2.6888062622309192,4.962009465753429,3.4291976516634044,89.0513698630137,77.63013698630138,6.637181996086106,23.442270058708417,7.7094869923839395,1.1064653620352254,586,19,118,9,14,185,73,146,0.19,0.735,0.07400000000000001,-0.9664,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,0,14,9,0,6,8,0,15,0,0,2,1,23,26,9,1,3,6,0,6,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,7,6,15,3,19,18,1,11,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,10,82,23,1,0.11351562275683695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459882596614132,0.2758678131072613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728650699878213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469158131538445,0.0,0.0,0.09777083954439222,0.0,0.11781129461605955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497599823955503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869845481434531,0.16219116715795642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4739232714938279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637399815022266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741122694545237,0.07577255965344529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834079184592274,0.08755024628623748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447780814518613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187802592365068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737186730297361,0.19843531538616174,0.0,0.259630015214126,0.0,0.0,0.07273622750262755,0.0,0.0,0.06619187249796828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758678131072613,0.1462006785990354
mentalhealth,Rodela__Bala,2019/03/22,"The 12 food that will help you maintain your beauty and youth There is no real magic to actually reduce the body and skin. But there are some foods that are able to hold youth permanently. Every person wants to have young age at any cost to stay young. And if this goal is met through a few foods then what could be better than this. However, it is important to know that youth should not only show body and skin in order to maintain youth but also internal organs of the body should be young and it is possible only when proper food will be taken.

The first thing to do in order to hold the right youth is to drink plenty of water. This water is possible to remove all the inconvenient conditions of the body. It helps in reducing excess body weight and maintaining a healthy body condition. Water is God’s graceful drink, which has numerous health benefits. So to maintain the youth, it is necessary to start with water first. [more view](https://www.annexfair.com/blog-post/the-12-food-that-will-help-you-maintain-your-beauty-and-youth/)",6.722722832722836,8.234542550264553,6.000634920634923,77.93560439560441,65.29629629629629,9.201628001628,27.236874236874236,9.466822959209583,2.349481562881563,838,24,144,16,13,255,106,189,0.025,0.86,0.115,0.9455,1,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,0,4,5,3,0,0,10,0,21,20,8,0,1,21,26,13,0,5,4,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,13,7,11,2,1,3,1,1,2,0,0,2,2,3,2,3,22,16,4,24,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,15,91,15,1,0.0939164561571049,0.0,0.09164891359766188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510495605775575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386641071933985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830614734311029,0.0,0.6259200650463218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498464818985816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840047453313652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912866489590081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977057925997912,0.5678207578805361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982880116352094,0.0,0.0,0.1888506626645279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05161402817642955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428553938901499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200422698979871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21175338622059225,0.08994600409219114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689748803568727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020414040736927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647455105334585,0.10010244628136256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062393920337811916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055394359132934966,0.0,0.0,0.1143649423587556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KenAndKeto,2019/03/22,"I am now only left with the css files and 2 php scripts to check my coding I have OCD. Basically, I want to create a website. I writes articles on how to lose weight with the keto diet. Before I can start writing articles, my OCD will force me to check the coding of my website. I need to check the coding of my website before I have the confidence and I am ready to upload the website live and present the website to real users online. I am now only left with 2 php scripts and a total of 10 css files to check my coding. The css files only have a few lines of code, so I am not worried about checking the coding on my css files. I am worried about the 2 php scripts. I wrote a lot of coding and I need to check the coding. Damn it, my OCD.

​

I used to check the entire coding of my website more than 3 times. It is a very debilitating OCD condition. Luckily, I sought the help of my counselor and my psychiatrist. I told my psychiatrist about my OCD and he had given me heavy dosage of clomipramine and paroxetine. My OCD and depression are now more manageable. I don't have to check the entire coding of my website more than 3 times and I am no longer that afraid that there might be some coding errors on my website.

​

After I have finished checking the coding of my website, I intend to open a forum thread in warrior forum. Warrior forum is a well-known and highly-trafficked forum that talks about making money online. It is easy to make a living out there. I do not know what to post there. Most probably, about the fact that I just launched my website that talks about losing weight with the keto diet, and how I intend to make money in that niche and drive human traffic to my website.

​

Hope everything goes well for me :P Cheers!",3.8544444444444466,5.423035172413794,4.695287356321838,84.35622605363986,72.27586206896551,6.764750957854407,25.819923371647512,7.2427474758485975,1.2455394636015331,1392,45,265,14,27,450,139,348,0.048,0.848,0.104,0.9444,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,2,17,8,1,1,25,0,22,4,0,9,2,46,35,16,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,10,19,4,0,1,0,11,1,4,5,1,0,4,2,44,3,46,28,8,20,0,3,0,0,9,9,1,5,9,182,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366352896536627,0.3775255018239917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17625100605442628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919969035652626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307682160688682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941689761381692,0.0,0.0,0.10286261458993046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691617374503686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250456041992672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18289816510054652,0.0,0.0,0.23172368950616096,0.0,0.08804657604309442,0.0,0.0,0.20738971528028774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986524595984586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535830783186725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362957137720704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918587208662784,0.0,0.11165971967366073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787872826259335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330327104954283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16648195578441335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207782311873599,0.0,0.0,0.09896002753043263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944621377508011,0.0,0.0854513079118242,0.06108484612221941,0.0,0.0,0.25222658101328377,0.18623329972794653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21034893655339248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775255018239917,0.0
mentalhealth,kantigone,2019/03/22,"Should I go to hospital? My mental health has been declining for a few years now (ED, depression and anxiety). I never sought help until Christmas 2018, when I went to A&E following a suicide attempt. I’m 19F and after that, when my Mum found out about everything, I decided to take a year out of uni.

I’ve been on anti-depressants for almost 3 months now and haven’t noticed any change. I don’t think I’ll try to kill myself again, mainly because I saw how upset my Mum was last time. But I think about suicide almost constantly and most of the time I feel like I’m really not coping. The main problem I have is that I’m very private and I don’t ask for help when I need it - I know that if I felt that low again I wouldn’t tell anyone. 

I don’t know if I should go to hospital to be monitored. I’ve seen psych wards and they’re scary places. I also have a job (just skype tutoring) that it’d be a nightmare to quit.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.",3.1060606060606086,4.3486831414141465,4.635777777777778,85.33700000000002,73.64646464646464,8.108282828282826,25.32121212121212,8.648137234880735,1.64643393939394,754,24,159,14,15,253,117,198,0.173,0.794,0.032,-0.9786,1,0,0,0,0,3,25.0,0,0,0,2,12,7,1,1,7,0,19,1,0,1,1,32,38,15,3,8,5,2,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,8,0,0,4,7,5,0,0,8,4,21,2,19,22,4,26,0,2,2,0,6,5,0,5,18,97,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740107142082172,0.0,0.0,0.2815983525025293,0.0,0.0,0.11244462603232463,0.0,0.1523493314611137,0.0,0.19123730433556194,0.0,0.10756517444351593,0.0,0.0,0.0983167844322326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145003616738826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571368178506904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874522753161565,0.0,0.0,0.15194791665996818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24221191794246466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636992004840095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109591995895291,0.10045079354365824,0.13500628165506764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541700441192954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982218615149835,0.0,0.0,0.15502144950949945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946033928114166,0.0,0.0,0.1884939268449841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953231369049632,0.0,0.1555625545211975,0.0,0.1545495903587887,0.1146147547953377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869424696822914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141700371360789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122324224873715,0.0,0.0,0.1042594761663086,0.10844600071014224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008379373821005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690603308839395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454341596058556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495545265731426,0.0,0.0,0.0900774531569343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30760591708273216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057201488877997,0.0,0.1228980914738316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18019259371616336,0.0,0.0,0.16397998078615802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546399213084192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160167994826494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034555703266168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988429689463102,0.0,0.0,0.18109462357579445
mentalhealth,Lithium43,2019/03/22,"I have become increasingly neurotic recently and am constantly on the verge of tears. I'm trying very hard to understand why I feel this way. I would say that from age 14 through now (21), I've been phasing in and out of feeling immensely unhappy. If I had to quickly describe how I feel more precisely, I feel intensely lonely, hopeless, and have generally failed to find satisfaction in the cycle of life.

I'm constantly asking myself whether I actually have a problem; a question that becomes even more difficult to answer when my feelings of sadness phase out and I am able to function normally again for a significant period of time. Unfortunately, even when I don't feel sad, I never really feel happy at all, I just feel ""meh"". I was gifted a $2,000+ laptop last year out of nowhere by a friend who turned out to have a wealthy family and I felt almost nothing. My difficulty to feel happiness coupled with my extreme proneness to sadness is troubling.

Recently; however, I have been become ridiculously neurotic and what I would describe as unhealthily analytical. I'm often overthinking even the most basic of interactions to a ridiculous degree and it feels like I'm driving myself insane by doing so. My increasing tendency to think this way has suffocated my personality and undoubtedly made it exhausting for others to be around me. 

Although I've had strong feelings of unhappiness come and go for a while, it's never gotten to the point where I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears but unable to cry like I've felt recently. Part of this may be a result of my current ongoing struggle to understand myself coupled with the hatred I've felt for myself for as long as I can remember. It certainly feels like I've been spending an unhealthy amount of time on introspection, and I would suspect that it is negatively affecting my mental health. 

I realize that this reads very much like a rambling train of thought, and I apologize for that. I am having a rather difficult time conveying my emotions right now, but I need a second opinion on what I've been feeling recently. I also consider it unwise to talk about this with friends in real life because I know how relationships can change for the worse when you admit this to them.

",10.112908053265693,8.588427197590361,10.187698161065317,60.92502219403933,58.951807228915655,13.845275840202913,43.28788839568802,12.670367459663947,5.705265060240965,1817,89,295,53,19,607,215,415,0.161,0.745,0.094,-0.9767,2,2,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,1,1,2,20,25,2,1,20,0,29,4,0,5,6,79,64,27,0,8,6,0,18,5,2,4,4,1,0,1,21,20,0,0,29,1,1,5,4,14,0,1,13,19,39,11,60,45,9,51,0,6,0,0,14,18,0,7,31,214,60,3,0.0740997387281639,0.0,0.07231065598287116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420018465117335,0.0,0.0,0.05925753428941445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596447752497178,0.06927325298137899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045170512959779564,0.2455120191133621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783876982996734,0.0638303636750464,0.0,0.24022647945206574,0.0,0.0,0.16397990300631524,0.08139508353721381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335223251701784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682653573601673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985463896504844,0.0,0.5245387608858789,0.1588106044596845,0.21344210870944694,0.0,0.06772581876758753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449854865806013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04211258914836465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577610995103466,0.06637881122845905,0.0,0.0,0.07876455720804063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04072327852941655,0.06040117702383665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467767370664237,0.18100694710101772,0.0,0.0,0.0655759369916324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011496444131668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467510819343975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447183399041365,0.054944017352553366,0.11430057322230328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260201108938244,0.07110069779067825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024279607577632,0.0,0.0,0.06470103369727115,0.0,0.0,0.07004820425031634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090344257454705,0.0,0.0,0.08300866589741683,0.0,0.07411979116982255,0.08434172516998466,0.0474701900615126,0.0,0.2926582101398934,0.07955538834096637,0.083940559098232,0.06328077199975815,0.0,0.058927086382372276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746513569683945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059558563141482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047480120560695005,0.0,0.058826915529026615,0.1296244606401186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050308858561827034,0.0805992374606195,0.0,0.1542808825673226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228008960632562,0.0,0.11763384708696495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686348872509475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551396428178322,0.15791498510136362,0.0,0.0,0.04771780228557263
mentalhealth,howismyspelling,2019/03/22,"Any entrepreneurs here? I'm still very fresh in my therapy, but have been suffering for several years. I've always had an entrepreneurial nature. Now that I'm out of the military and getting help, I want to pursue one of my startup ideas. I'm actually feeling like I'm running out of time to jump in for some reason, I'm still youngish; nearly 30. My therapist is telling me I should not get into anything for the time being, as I've always *up until lately* been in some sort of project, my entire life.

I'm wondering if this is something that can be balanced, so that I don't have to drive myself crazy thinking I won't bring my ideas to life. How do you do it?",3.0439687924016283,4.7193601268656735,4.483297150610586,84.61672320217096,74.59701492537313,7.260786974219811,27.10719131614654,8.00094639256281,1.6905313432835818,523,20,105,8,11,174,87,134,0.055,0.853,0.092,0.4416,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,15,2,0,2,0,19,28,7,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,3,1,12,1,21,21,2,21,0,1,0,0,3,8,0,5,10,69,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.1796119482199122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062984044470499,0.0,0.0,0.12516428187541945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146227269537355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306416231762236,0.13148952795994825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19232315821655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336874896559108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155532771296048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20762300298780728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26000816413602923,0.0899203857806339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472099972138505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924005666409915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20793070834560687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169517680381513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939744611179307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608729156335558,0.0,0.21048389220537714,0.21370301486016327,0.0,0.11793554960478908,0.0,0.0,0.21464887939468705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186534283342787,0.10856090240128892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19960070579888275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852592563002735
mentalhealth,MentalHealthMomma,2019/03/22,"Ignorance!!! I had a passenger that seemed to be inquiring about an employee while on a phone call. 
She then proceeds to say (in a disrespectful tone IMO), “Well, mental health isn’t chronic.”

Omg. That was a long 15 minute ride. ",1.807142857142857,4.611817333333338,2.873333333333335,86.93000000000004,89.95238095238096,7.561904761904763,23.66666666666667,8.344100000000001,2.1134952380952385,176,7,34,5,6,56,37,42,0.086,0.861,0.053,-0.3129,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,2,1,2,1,5,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,4,21,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087429949669736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254917895511652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542459168324477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034002925482068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183283487729951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3644108988478215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35991067591545045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,A2lnbefz,2019/03/22,"Emotional numbness after trauma incident Hey to make a long story short I had a traumatic incident a month ago which was a drug related. I somehow convinced myself the world was ending while I was on this drug and everyone in my life was stripped away from me. I don’t usually take drugs btw. I have been a bit of a mess since then but things are picking up. For the first 3 weeks I was depressed and extremely anxious. The past week has been better and I have enjoyed parts of the week. I started EMDR for trauma therapy last week. 

I know the trauma incident was all made up in my mind but I am left with this emotional numbness towards almost everything. It’s as if life is passing me by and I’m just getting through the days. I have started to meet up with my friends and stuff more recently which has led to me feeling better. However I still am left with this numbing emotion towards people and stuff I once loved. I feel like I am getting it back gradually though. I just want to know how long does this roughly last (or should it last) as I started EMDR relatively quickly after the incident. And also will I get all my feelings back? Appreciate the replies just kind of scared ",3.913153318077804,5.836853921739131,4.83018306636156,81.9933752860412,72.82608695652173,7.97254004576659,31.23569794050343,8.6894789155246,2.6565217391304348,942,44,175,18,19,306,131,230,0.13,0.721,0.149,0.6791,1,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,11,17,0,1,14,0,22,9,0,5,2,34,39,18,0,3,7,0,4,1,1,2,8,0,0,0,12,10,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,9,0,1,10,4,26,8,28,27,5,43,0,1,0,1,4,13,0,4,29,131,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871516236438742,0.0,0.10021598072820176,0.0,0.0,0.08003419320675242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306227128238353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402875209945126,0.15391117209794244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770258145816714,0.10926178539785457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454352491394548,0.0,0.08619903023205651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875809596827169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481841823571221,0.0,0.0,0.3377306579564945,0.08864145529493782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563103157383096,0.08994573554602882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181084579100024,0.07149739833661428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512826636510265,0.0,0.0,0.07732180451886365,0.0,0.15686350463459875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421824919892192,0.1100030496010003,0.2447364472624313,0.0,0.0,0.2174751141223525,0.0,0.1413793749998704,0.048894187548519485,0.0,0.0,0.1771358620920436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032639333080916,0.09469841562043108,0.06680438861693562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105259030169976,0.0,0.07988315406762046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658227115019088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837723036555626,0.0955379867331438,0.06938309039922776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881723908508426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019785629403433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827874722789142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21251209007742494,0.0,0.07992427029528325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291360375167069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524794310312732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445056437523128,0.0,0.06648891547720287,0.0,0.09832840314482152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022432974183237,0.0,0.05902996385485172,0.0,0.32111357362074444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bow-chiki-bow,2019/03/22,"I’m projecting my feelings I’ve just come to realize this and I’m not even sure for how long I’ve been doing it. 

I read about some celebrity couple I don’t even know where the more successful one left the other one after nearly a decade and found someone else in a hot minute and was so irrationally angry about them breaking up and spending so much time thinking way to much about it that I had to do a very deep search within myself why the hell was I thinking sooo much about this.
I’m not even in a relationship so it couldn’t be the broken heart thing, but realized I’m never actually that happy when people in my life, friends or family, do great  even though I truly truly love them and always feel guilty about it. Now I think it’s because I’m so scared to be left behind when they get successful, I’m afraid they will just kick me to the curve once they realize I am not as interesting as them anymore and find someone better, someone more worthy of their time and I just feel I can’t keep up with them career or relationship wise, my group of friends still consists off my high school friends and we are all in our early 30s so there is so much time invested in this relationships it’s really hard thinking something like this could happen
 I’m just putting it in writing as a advice from a book I’m reading but if anyone has ever felt like this and has any advice I’m all ears.

",5.420181476846062,5.580510542553196,5.901397580308718,82.2979411764706,67.68794326241135,8.762953692115145,28.29036295369212,8.4952907291091,1.824935919899875,1111,33,226,15,17,359,154,282,0.091,0.723,0.18600000000000005,0.9891,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,8,3,29,17,1,2,11,0,19,4,2,1,5,49,43,27,0,3,12,0,6,2,3,1,1,1,0,0,16,12,0,1,14,3,2,2,7,3,0,2,6,7,25,14,31,32,9,32,1,0,0,1,19,16,1,4,14,155,41,8,0.0,0.0,0.09806554621449476,0.0,0.0,0.19639893900942512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361726665297142,0.0,0.0,0.06833790173930777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099660908919454,0.07026623573468993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061258896990769814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887687198519782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865648277391651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023456245997186,0.1111923169409732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394804305016286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654956678242137,0.0909006285684416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473476948330413,0.0,0.15243509133642813,0.0,0.0964879320171182,0.0,0.09184772728158623,0.0,0.0,0.1101841229437365,0.2329192543401763,0.0,0.05250284223049193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079261570719848,0.0,0.0,0.08886460811974377,0.10697543940512813,0.0900209559947794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190833221384296,0.0,0.10617515337881146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932177063056726,0.0,0.0,0.05522769083408989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183693708569418,0.0,0.07098036319111918,0.09819048047515536,0.0,0.0,0.08893212199782878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906978150719735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954922801331276,0.0,0.07750550726804488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702053699108273,0.13619175208901316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966839336874922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010220619250067,0.0,0.0,0.2010380823566228,0.0,0.06437765020954626,0.0,0.0,0.3236719058589853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060986944847708,0.10170311382095937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25543924669341217,0.07736353314431152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025291855123258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471237620247164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676231761188381,0.2575644706206269,0.0987327291159494,0.0,0.1757928117599104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291629784994764,0.0,0.07976575036622655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067826110146672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sensible_sensibly,2019/03/22,"Guilt for thinking psychiatric appointment is important? I work in a demanding human service field. I have been struggling with my mental health since I was 18 and lost my insurance due to my dad having to medically retire which meant I had to stop taking my medication and going to therapy all together. I managed to pull myself through for several years. I am 25 now, I graduated with a BA, and finally got my first job in the field, I had a meltdown shortly after and quit my job. I got lucky enough to find my current job and have been able to fight my anxiety long enough to get health insurance. As soon as I did I started going to therapy, from there my therapist and I decided it was time for me to get back on medication. I made a appointment, but the next earliest appointment was at noon on a Friday a month and a half out (today actually) unfortunately I had a supervised visit I had to oversee, no big deal I found a co worker to cover and took PTO. Fast forward to today my coworker that agreed to take my visit emailed the office (I shouldn't even be checking emails because I am on PTO but I am an overworker) she's sick, that's not her fault I appreciate her trying to take it in the first place. However now I am faced with even more overwhelming anxiety (I haven't slept through a night in a solid 3 months I woke up 3 times last night and at 5:30am had a complete breakdown and was crying this was all before I knew that my visit wasn't covered anymore) the visit is at the same time as my appointment, they're trying to find someone else to cover but there's a chance I am going to have to cancel my appointment (expensive and I'm already struggling financially) and reschedule it for at least another month out. I feel guilty because I put my mental health before my visit and now I'm just crying and overwhelmed by the fact that I was so close to help and it's being taken away. Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.",5.222617801047122,5.9977516073298505,6.370247120418849,76.60642827225135,68.26701570680628,9.776921465968586,31.24858638743456,9.888512548439397,3.0413866806282717,1542,61,290,35,25,518,190,382,0.12,0.82,0.06,-0.9659,5,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,0,6,12,10,1,5,21,0,30,9,2,1,3,44,56,22,0,2,6,1,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,10,21,0,1,8,1,2,12,5,8,0,3,26,1,49,2,52,27,7,60,0,3,0,0,15,20,0,1,30,204,59,10,0.08914417834373528,0.0,0.08699185886116391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983728175127314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934754436175011,0.1363901048692231,0.0,0.08840707116170646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375389000084679,0.06854637060459137,0.0,0.10868292742398368,0.0,0.15171025998308388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934659749544389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19584138804491602,0.0,0.09190373356465543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446852227506663,0.0,0.0,0.18421953194002308,0.0,0.11775777811453575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04507397505345656,0.0,0.0,0.0976530900425486,0.16295232804643153,0.15165198511971326,0.0,0.09774199035099963,0.0,0.0,0.0931483077886498,0.0,0.15198807264342254,0.0,0.1425934857943117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842682790290411,0.0,0.0,0.05975146366517324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653855255013624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266440326513468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888979263050737,0.0,0.0,0.09731140113013564,0.0,0.0,0.08435037696490222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694101437142959,0.17967272967194894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134620980066977,0.0,0.0,0.06609927870009735,0.0,0.0,0.09480584498721624,0.16731154516668478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313669299801623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961452102272592,0.0,0.0948158066423678,0.08916830202441386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100707547646864,0.0,0.07374098551645883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553157302685409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309670825426374,0.0,0.0,0.07452852470743758,0.0,0.1863857009621556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20107598395382992,0.0,0.0,0.08207198252083299,0.2038882738564792,0.10350326184402224,0.0,0.05711998999850624,0.0,0.0,0.1559420618121733,0.0,0.1689965154293553,0.0,0.09904246217958873,0.1210460910356948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648980235362792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05740592814667254
mentalhealth,IanKMills,2019/03/22,"Self diagnosis (I know it's not a good idea) Body Dysmorphic Disorder https://youtu.be/_4s7rzyOKrw

Today I made a video, a last ditch effort to find somebody who feels the same way as me. I have never been diagnosed with anything but my family has a history of mental health conditions and I'm struggling to pinpoint what is wrong with me. I feel like a total monster when I see my reflection and whilst I hate the fact that it probably seems like I'm looking for attention, I essentially am. I just need a conversation with somebody who feels the same way. I haven't been diagnosed with anything and so naturally I'm constantly feeling as if there isn't anything wrong with me but I am in fact just ugly. Is there anybody on this sub who has been diagnosed with body Dysmorphic disorder? Please comment and let me know. Thank you.",4.495456221198154,6.9808611677419385,5.095599078341014,78.24911290322581,72.80645161290323,9.33179723502304,30.426267281106,9.784248007369934,3.3689815668202767,671,30,118,19,14,215,91,155,0.174,0.738,0.08800000000000001,-0.9447,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,6,8,1,1,9,0,13,6,2,1,4,35,29,11,0,2,6,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,8,10,0,0,11,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,6,17,4,14,24,3,10,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,2,8,79,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191795756805609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28722014079342445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971463915162113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39367447615762896,0.0,0.0,0.2963510103405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188143078560094,0.0,0.26148804197022874,0.09236353272189143,0.0,0.0,0.11816709405154892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844082785763157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764535411097147,0.0,0.1374273358210843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595066734721504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210685294441966,0.10538715804519473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220596810320806,0.0,0.12632739083137476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085695456929284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223356431612943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029212040219554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586557954137796,0.09971504835147074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191964490962042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939457204696315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302597514962254,0.11769914297441605,0.1348758138542339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351601227150509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903122580455495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225501186299988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052459479312112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827127528465041,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mechanicarts,2019/03/22,"I think I might need help. 28/M/Greece.  
  

For a while now (ever since we moved with my boyfriend on this island for his studies), I've been slowly but surely trickling down to a bad mental state.  
  
I think I've always been prone to depression (?) due to a bleak view of things. I had a bad childhood, death of my father, being gay and not being able to come out to family, bad relationship with mum and stepdad and other smaller things. The relationship with my mum and stepdad is now completely fixed and we discuss a lot of things, but I still can't bring up mental health and wellbeing with them because they shrug it off as a phase.  
  
What I've been feeling though does not seem like depression. I feel *seething hatred*. Towards people, situations and so many things, in and out of my control. I work at a copy shop, and customers are always pissing me off. I literally want to slap them because they complain about the price being 10 cents more than what they paid in another shop, I hate grannies for bringing me doilies they want to make copies of, people that tell me I'm lying about not being able to do so etc. The island I live in is full of immigrants as well. I hate them for wanting preferential treatment just because, when they can't even speak english to communicate.  
  
It's leaking into my personal life as well. I hate going out, I hate having to help people do stuff, I'm snapping at my wonderful boyfriend for minuscule things. I'm buying useless shit all the time, including smoking, so I constantly struggle with money (I'm only being paid 350€ which is a little anyway). I'm doing my master's thesis which is going sooo slow and I've already missed my deadline which means I have to pay a fine for an extension.  
  
I said I don't think I feel depressed. It's kind of true. I feel devoid of emotion. I think nothing matters, and nothing in my day proves me otherwise. I'm constantly having thoughts of suicide, not because I'm inadequate or sad, but because I will always have to face shit people and struggle to get to my next day.  
  
I don't know how I would even talk about these things to a shrink. I'm petty, spiteful and horrible to people that usually don't deserve it, and I don't think I would get any good advice from a psychologist that would just tell me to see good in people. Fuck people.",4.908729660291176,5.949554292035401,5.499106480159863,81.60644162146731,69.13274336283186,8.044647445047103,29.624892948900946,8.259297600419973,2.073990065658008,1828,68,347,25,31,590,221,452,0.229,0.6809999999999999,0.09,-0.9978,1,0,0,0,0,1,56.0,2,0,8,3,21,30,9,2,16,0,32,8,4,3,5,68,76,28,2,7,10,3,4,1,0,5,2,2,0,1,22,26,0,1,15,2,9,6,10,21,2,0,8,8,51,9,62,58,5,42,0,6,2,2,26,19,4,5,17,229,73,2,0.14431492037769936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051143497748301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962755162730975,0.0,0.18012236187221686,0.0,0.0,0.0490695473131612,0.07566338853286328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807453957156916,0.21993258994895615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062157262694522375,0.07565572415487867,0.1559531601135644,0.0809307272751726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307118476813192,0.0,0.1864473441818822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314547967180567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116743058383369,0.0,0.0,0.0804746420737515,0.09531864384304073,0.06527055383337294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680236316165463,0.0,0.14593991984229504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670840921476859,0.07539858951866782,0.0,0.08201749498929174,0.12104450823779304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849622125254579,0.0,0.07670000594578874,0.0,0.0,0.09673124910120916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514089089754941,0.03965585303918147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050966948081003056,0.03525249023417318,0.07232073155418907,0.06371635933270803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134569227736492,0.0,0.0,0.04816566498791824,0.07315633907028217,0.0,0.07860062782997042,0.0,0.0,0.14543549650919768,0.07654766231148996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07669196072913775,0.0,0.053503842426173884,0.0,0.0,0.07674027751937956,0.0,0.0,0.13847405829732873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054879000013306575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501742819638517,0.06300511099391763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494021613438955,0.0,0.0,0.06863826853171431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750015351264914,0.06568944171125332,0.0,0.0,0.14813719190657718,0.059689396722835526,0.08110800853133457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762504091640652,0.0,0.0,0.15086928890733042,0.08260302839513525,0.0789285498169021,0.0,0.06800755227952629,0.0,0.0,0.057997433223784665,0.1261376013477088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876292616027117,0.2311779344923627,0.07089433827210864,0.057284963323429264,0.04207559531104181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947124806882873,0.0,0.12768101866413567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975644494474264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825168754363393,0.05253149040868568,0.0,0.0,0.15377576825845826,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aimcook,2019/03/22,"[Academic]Predictive factors of voice hearing distress and loneliness (Aged 18+).   

Hello, 

​

My name is Aimee I am a second year trainee clinical psychologist at the University of Liverpool.

 I am completing a research study investigating the relationships between childhood trauma, mindfulness of voices, emotion regulation and levels of voice hearing distress and loneliness. It is important you are aware that for some people answering questions about their early childhood may be distressing. If you do experience any levels of distress you are advised to stop taking part in the study. You will be provided with a list of numbers and websites you can access if you feel you would like to talk to someone about the impact the study has had on you. 

The study is also looking at the types of voices people hear. Hearing voices is a relatively common and normal experience. We are interested in learning more about how people feel about their voices and the beliefs they hold about them.

​

It is hoped that the outcome of this research will have implications for future clinical practice.

The study is anticipated to last approx 20 mins. All participants have the opportunity to win 1 of 6 £25.00 Amazon Vouchers.

​

Thank you.

**LINK TO STUDY:**  [https://livpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_0PAIG9hNgxDlVfn](https://livpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0PAIG9hNgxDlVfn) 

​",9.644111111111107,12.941628845454547,7.895757575757575,60.223080808080816,60.54545454545455,9.979797979797981,38.131313131313135,10.25414643259724,4.8810555555555535,1166,57,142,28,18,349,131,220,0.101,0.8109999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,66.0,1,9,4,2,7,11,0,4,15,0,23,2,0,1,1,28,33,10,0,5,2,0,2,1,0,4,2,10,0,0,5,8,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,13,17,6,29,26,4,17,1,0,1,0,24,7,0,6,11,104,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571744379330476,0.0,0.4103531613343017,0.4601976914457701,0.06438724709728877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927264611585164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650490366051532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18523501945725127,0.0,0.0,0.09574848551459976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268555742699416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404094069471224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717875509323686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046257015272966835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795093304824209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956021860128061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927686033491139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025317619867718,0.0,0.19692246664889512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606590486448302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165341365271273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022405076631993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791586870240696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118934638041853,0.07610208914616852,0.0,0.0871707900205247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725962727448483,0.0,0.4601976914457701,0.06097233129633106
mentalhealth,SportsTechnique,2019/03/22,"Online therapists/apps Hi there,

I am looking to speak to anyone who has had a positive or negative experience using a therapist that they found online or through social media. It is merely for research purposes now for a possible documentary. I would be grateful if you could comment or message me directly, if you have had a personal experience. I am looking to explore whether vulnerable young people are being exploited by unaccredited online counsellors.

Many thanks in advance - and anything you share will be held in confidence.",7.868238095238098,10.447906300000003,8.697619047619046,55.60500000000002,63.77777777777778,12.253968253968255,42.85714285714286,11.765960540728905,6.607380952380954,437,27,55,16,7,147,69,90,0.08800000000000001,0.758,0.154,0.7506,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,1,1,2,2,0,0,4,0,14,0,0,1,0,13,20,7,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,3,8,2,9,10,0,6,0,0,2,0,12,2,0,5,2,48,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628778574342648,0.0,0.19570384537785765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898782194899123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4652630252556724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607550217657362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994142332772169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411099953621219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487296848138822,0.20765339289243445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26810391804948097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24242537153908505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189507448306024,0.0,0.2761248793690713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20539828463879967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893899304239102,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chevchelios79,2019/03/22,"Virtual insanity induced by excessive use of various substances The following occurred a very long time ago when I wasn't so grown up and responsible. I am not proud of the content described in this story! In fact I regret most of what took place.. I was deeply ashamed and embarrassed of how foolishly and irresponsibly I behaved..

Here goes...  

I had recently arrived in Phuket, Thailand, I was overexcited and had the intention of consuming substantial quantities of mind altering substances, in fact whatever was readily available to me. I was surprised and quietly pleased to find that specialised pharmaceutical products available only by prescription in Australia are readily available over the counter and are inexpensive at most pharmacies in some parts of Thailand. This included where I happened to be staying for a week long holiday and to celebrate my 30th birthday.

I regret partaking in all those forbidden fruits while I was over there on that one occasion as I went way too far!

I bought Yaba off any thin, random person on the street who was obviously a drug addict.

I was able to easily scope out and then approach these characters on the street.

I would say to them ""If you buy one for me, I will pay for two so that you can have one too.

This method of acquiring some serious illicit substances never failed me!

I smoked up on it pretty hard, It tasted like strawberries and made me feel quite euphoric!

This popular street drug combined with a cocktail of pills that would normally only be available by prescription in Australia. Some of these medications you would have to be very lucky to even obtain a prescription for in Australia! Xanax is a top example of this, in Australia this medication requires a government authority to fill the prescription. I stocked up on Tramadol, pseudoephidrine and 10 mg Valium.

It was most definitely a case of going way over board to say the least!

The thai to English translation of ""Yaba"" is ""crazy drug"", I guess I must have smoked too much because I discovered how it got it's name!

I acted like a fool and talked absolute garbage to anyone that would listen.

There was also one incident where I became completely paranoid, I was petrified that I was going to get my head caved in by this particular French Muay Thai boxer. I didn't like his style of fighting at all!

If I recall correctly, he did more dodging and hugging of the opponent so as to hold up the action then actual Muay Thai fighting, I was really disappointed by the lack of knees and elbows getting thrown.

This seemingly pitiful excuse for a Muay Thai fighter was wearing bright pink boxers shorts which I didn't much care for either. I was sitting in the grandstand making as many disrespectful comments as I could think of, directing them at this Muay Thai fighter for pretty much the entire duration of his fight.

At the end of the final fight for the night I realised that this particular French Muay Thai fighter that I'd taken such a disliking to had a girlfriend who had been sitting directly in front of me in the row down of the grandstand the whole time. When I saw the couple talking together beside the boxing ring I imagined that the French guy's girlfriend had heard every insult i had projected at her lover and was filling him in on every offensive comment that I had made during his recent fight.

I imagined that this French Muay Thai fighter was deeply insulted by my heckling, I was completely convinced that his girlfriend had immediately relayed every offensive comment that had come out of my mouth approximately 15 minutes earlier.

I imagined that this trained fighter was getting more and more angry as his girlfriend filled him in on every detail about the comments that I had unwittingly made.

I personally have never been in a fist fight and wouldn't know how to defend myself against an amateur. This guy was a professional, I was so irrationally and insanely fearful of my perceived reality. In the disillusion reality that I was experiencing at that time, the flouro pink shorts wearing French Muay Thai fighter was coming after me, seeking vengeance. I was 100% convinced that I was about to suffer the beating of my life. I was hiding behind people and objects, I was ducking down and constantly looking around me expecting to be standing in front of this angry man in any second. I was with a bunch of other people, but I didn't really take notice of what their movements were. I jumped into the first vacant ""Tuk Tuk"" that I saw just wanting to get out of my perceived danger as soon as I possibly could. One of my friends looked at me rather strangely as I made this move and called out to me, ""what are you doing?""

I don't recall what happened after that but I can pretty much be certain that I was behaving like some sort of a shameless lunatic.

I guess you could say that I was rendered temporarily insane by the stupendous consummation of illicit and prescription drugs I had foolishly consumed...

At the end of all this I felt an overwhelming feeling of shame and embarrassment because of my drug abuse and drug induced, totally inappropriate, normally completely unacceptable behaviour.

In summary I would have to say that I have deep regrets about my actions during this holiday and was bordering on the edge of insanity for almost the entirety of the time I spent in Phuket on that particular trip",9.785357944732297,9.147221384455964,9.259744170984456,64.48253508203801,58.989637305699475,12.684153713298793,42.07307858376511,11.855464076750405,5.2502301381692575,4336,212,688,112,48,1391,415,965,0.126,0.799,0.075,-0.9943,0,0,9,0,15,0,79.0,0,5,3,9,27,42,11,6,51,0,81,22,6,12,12,113,121,49,0,21,8,0,5,4,6,8,12,8,0,5,57,34,3,2,15,3,5,21,9,26,0,8,63,23,99,16,145,42,25,120,0,8,7,2,53,67,0,16,30,523,156,7,0.06216978549586585,0.073661029734045,0.06066874254459119,0.06777424279549195,0.0,0.0,0.055109763731876656,0.0,0.06225405976720087,0.0,0.0,0.04971715499971908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455517205994678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043470559538222,0.0,0.0,0.05534428985126296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579624839838645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348230199000203,0.0,0.06338623971203823,0.0,0.0,0.1071075306313451,0.1955515117882444,0.06718345190010551,0.0,0.14891254475088425,0.06878968516295683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.432583281447735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012795395874064,0.0,0.0,0.04106255698280798,0.0,0.2095229025645148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995829291206204,0.06286982307950867,0.0,0.059692743600313826,0.06810396117561357,0.05682205764259289,0.05288158778333385,0.0,0.0,0.0480322220552851,0.0,0.1299245878332832,0.0,0.07066504360113908,0.0,0.04972285677903245,0.0,0.13697405561457673,0.12311572392131814,0.10995307199024912,0.0,0.05569191641394235,0.0,0.06380413590230816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034166888228176075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043912358074716835,0.1214920675044669,0.0,0.0,0.11003660758956686,0.10441392391188847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23530621695485865,0.04149881457478652,0.06303040455912669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252590365878539,0.0,0.0,0.06277376073716504,0.0,0.0,0.06607664315386529,0.18280778274665013,0.0,0.09589834244023092,0.0,0.0,0.058342132191101514,0.12182637978127785,0.0,0.0707807128456071,0.0,0.0,0.21063927809346816,0.0945658466948677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732381929065316,0.0,0.08620140271363146,0.10856851738915184,0.06495419367885061,0.06824375523826348,0.0,0.07008709196466807,0.0,0.18974706687188872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612521950501274,0.0,0.0,0.0796551130739823,0.0,0.12277032591672166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19775963495515114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05659703778158861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626471938542093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046743941567622224,0.09993943726391508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03983588823983699,0.0,0.0,0.1450068075152427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690729192089767,0.0,0.0,0.06073084680631219,0.0,0.0,0.05369473363014322,0.0,0.1025931679614829,0.03666935024906167,0.09869496392259827,0.049868851901131266,0.0,0.0,0.057632014007095625,0.0,0.06941034529509812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22081815938988292,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stigsonic,2019/03/22,"Pretty sure I have a personality disorder, but I can't put my finger on which. I really want to figure out what is wrong with me so I can try to remedy it Here are some of the abnormal tendencies I have noticed about myself:

- I used to think everyone was out to get me and always saying bad things about me (I'm much much better at this now) 

- It is still hard for me to determine whether people are joking or not. 

- It is really easy for me to cut people out of my life 

If you need more than that I can think of some others, but those are the biggest for sure. Does this sound like any specific disorder? ",3.3113082437275985,4.338264145161293,5.104301075268818,83.0070071684588,72.87096774193549,9.059498207885305,22.648745519713263,9.444778638647367,1.6586444444444446,470,11,100,11,9,161,82,124,0.132,0.71,0.158,0.4174,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,6,8,1,0,3,0,12,2,1,1,2,21,19,7,0,3,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,11,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,4,16,5,21,18,5,9,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,4,3,79,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845097736150073,0.0,0.0,0.12132456261859804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489644615398768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577886845523519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40894543576416864,0.0,0.15612733603655185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704779013171283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321158841176054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981984864326773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12601589015014147,0.08716185889349554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623029880335268,0.1322883669446215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20312037261866508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473733356943878,0.15578027417471252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815065779778491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793508019112984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22858735943874225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187837733649825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424780391888118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362976423001125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852732930789828,0.22863517864028898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211283241137582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408850609352906,0.0,0.0,0.10523053225700896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950627564523293,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imathrowaway0000134,2019/03/22,"I want go and get professional help, but not sure where to go? I've \[31M\] been suffering from on and off depression for a number of years, and have had social anxiety all my life.

Recently my situation has been worse, and due my own faults I was fired from my job a couple of weeks ago. 

I have always felt strong impostor syndrome at work due to being in a slightly senior technical position, but normally I have always managed to get the job done despite my lack of confidence. After being fired, I feel like my mental health has gotten much much worse.

I really want help with social anxiety and lack of confidence as it is really hurting my career and family, but I am not sure who I need to see, so I was hoping to get advice here?

Should I see a psychologists? Psychiatrists? counsellor? I am not sure. In the past I have seen a Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist and had quite a number of sessions with him, but I don't feel like it helped at all.",5.6142210144927525,6.460064733695656,6.679130434782612,74.48688405797105,67.42391304347827,10.69855072463768,28.920289855072465,10.686352973137794,3.1713420289855083,757,25,140,21,12,254,103,184,0.214,0.608,0.17800000000000002,-0.9197,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,3,11,0,0,8,0,20,2,0,0,5,32,36,13,0,8,7,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,10,8,21,7,23,23,7,18,0,3,3,0,7,7,0,1,11,99,24,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225122138646738,0.1111348463501968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20863934411533006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19181870300638676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138721899231109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798284898615162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829923761284495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818970507577077,0.0,0.12678385198671804,0.17913177785645612,0.1203769248679496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19650532131041415,0.0,0.1425037639636986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326473266148878,0.0,0.0,0.25210292800881384,0.0,0.0,0.1245228333550208,0.0,0.0,0.13421347946013842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24882502704112616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855405715858064,0.12250099928360628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634563923950556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18432591133953394,0.09296186055482268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283808785920908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968190321948005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333487137654324,0.0,0.0,0.16063321910712758,0.0,0.12378987300236265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998107429424125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409235493576584,0.0,0.2556022366408149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544853026438743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789548456488166,0.0,0.10056597630606856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127241829121956,0.0,0.2555298631500145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073555403840257
mentalhealth,offthewallvans,2019/03/22,"What am I doing wrong Hello, I’m not sure how to start this so I’ll just dive into it. I used to be very depressed when I lived at home and tried to end my life twice in the past but that was 2 years ago now. Since then I’ve gotten a good job with very good benefits, I moved states, I bought a good car, got my associates degree in less than a year and am currently working on my bachelors, and I’ve made a lot of progress with working out. In high school I had an amazing group of friends and I was doing lots of fun things and really enjoying life while being extremely depressed on the side which doesn’t really make sense but that’s the best I can put it. Since I made changes I haven’t been depressed but I still have my off days I suppose. My problem is I’ve been where I’m at for 3 months now and something has just changed with me since I got here. I’ve always been shy but have slowly grown out of that to where I’m not nervous when talking to people but now I just feel like I don’t have anything to say. All the conversations I have are meaningless regardless of what is being talked about and I don’t find interest in really anything that I do. I work, come home, eat, sleep, wake up, eat, workout, eat and then back to work and on my weekends I just sit at home watching tv but I don’t find any interest in it so I watch it just to watch it. It seems like I’ve forgotten how to seek out friendships and relationships and I’m just really apathetic towards everything. I feel like I’m a zombie going through the motions of whats expected of me and I don’t feel any emotion towards anything, whether it be good or bad. I meet people that I know I would get along with and have fun with but I just can’t talk to them the way I would have used to and actually connect with people and create new friendships. 

Apologies if it’s confusing in anyway but I would just really like some help or some guidance to where I can find help. Thank you ",2.7328633004926104,4.112147172413792,3.861080665024634,89.97836976600989,74.81280788177341,7.341009852216749,25.002770935960587,7.972316293177498,1.2013992610837438,1536,50,340,23,32,499,189,406,0.086,0.698,0.21600000000000005,0.9963,2,0,1,0,0,1,26.0,0,1,1,6,25,27,0,2,12,0,37,7,2,7,2,77,61,36,0,7,22,0,3,4,1,3,2,1,3,0,19,27,3,0,8,3,1,7,9,8,0,1,12,7,41,19,50,42,7,56,0,3,3,0,15,25,0,9,25,223,60,6,0.0,0.0,0.07855763567348326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135952649947377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698351279631906,0.0,0.0,0.10948726020012403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987370799315537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06190051436064928,0.06721520526910894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448112558117425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17031935779333415,0.06934472362798133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191666513045829,0.0,0.2080069004487084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24711871617932876,0.0,0.0905531034899534,0.07130023898384047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234935864568795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211159608359255,0.1150202593394146,0.0,0.0,0.22073013129736144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219508831971556,0.0,0.04205859561261207,0.0,0.04575073190274986,0.27008261324784405,0.1287684531988132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791662058992008,0.08505402089399709,0.2422480389708435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798850976718972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044241397545909285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372086786409565,0.15731543420764427,0.0,0.07108410404464544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368786169895459,0.0,0.15234451290678186,0.0537352287110846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425535272241363,0.08556011945678424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774863671387469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684757953762016,0.16742835202023806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702885188991264,0.0,0.08092601981057172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25785590280681914,0.0,0.0,0.08642824668376026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401784799771182,0.0,0.08147159191802689,0.0,0.07328534081576728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977446913684926,0.0,0.0805594158749083,0.0,0.0,0.06197381736773495,0.0,0.0,0.05697921948242635,0.0,0.06428842524867931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587150258878496,0.0,0.0,0.19411163572958012,0.0,0.07411476184411563,0.0,0.0,0.05348147260812932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546550840720486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13905451621982165,0.0,0.1328439715951419,0.0,0.06389816809653223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23442355896906514,0.0,0.0,0.17155739632503175,0.08801551108075359,0.0,0.10368036843635556
mentalhealth,youngmarinelc,2019/03/22,I could use some advice Hey I have seen posts on here but never posted myself till not I'm not fully sure what's going on with me but I could really use some help. I'm 23m I work full time and have a girlfriend and a daughter. Right now the problem is I get headaches all day nothing horrible but still annoying but they do get bad when my mood change(my head hurts more and I get angry) on top of that it will also feel like my brain is melting. I've seen a doctor and he put me on tenex right now for ADD because I have problems focusing. On top of it I also have tourettes and many of my family thinks I have bipolar and depression(which I think I might be depressed). On the plus side since all this started I've changed my diet and exercise but it didn't help with this problem. Thank you so much for any help this is a great page for people.,1.578085742771684,3.581323451977404,2.7372549019607852,93.98231306081756,80.01694915254237,5.746626786307743,21.71119973413095,6.794906146795322,0.3808753074111002,669,20,147,7,17,214,108,177,0.131,0.705,0.163,0.7425,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,3,8,12,1,0,6,0,15,6,2,2,4,35,30,18,0,5,7,1,1,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,8,11,1,0,3,1,0,2,4,7,0,0,3,3,20,4,16,22,8,25,0,2,2,0,9,12,0,3,10,95,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262485641781585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170718499977017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229484081515896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332125142836695,0.0827341782872333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150936854202154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357467696737627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167241305817723,0.0,0.0,0.08752872864132798,0.0,0.11689618031222722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389160541280984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279455506620139,0.0,0.06862454622038541,0.0969590115493414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21272564752537906,0.0,0.07713329405491015,0.0,0.0,0.14963273044582276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392887607697692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729125005169861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529199074304666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630635807044194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375996527137415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397838771006108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977045044868693,0.0,0.10467629636758008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022782833124985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409175746053157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599661398267545,0.0,0.0,0.3895996087778196,0.0,0.13643695353357024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694626008287862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23180975064168505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122697002629444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960639252875667,0.0,0.1083868564020818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791530706018886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249535358534494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392889751177368,0.0,0.0,0.0791399265750731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344384984276525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880640459367522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sanj05,2019/03/22,"What is reiki I needed to know how reiki helps for mental healing.
Please advice.",2.7300000000000004,5.733579666666667,3.855,80.7825,85.66666666666666,3.0,14.166666666666668,3.1291,-0.7183333333333329,65,1,9,0,2,21,14,15,0.0,0.71,0.29,0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4618564975224501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31679936683406634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597495483787862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4763080559530991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504551747505484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5188147215640553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EndMyAlt,2019/03/22,I thought my mental health would improve. I thought it would improve since I vented but I still feel nothing....,2.6273333333333326,5.632448400000005,1.7600000000000016,94.31833333333331,90.0,2.666666666666667,31.66666666666667,3.1291,1.029666666666667,88,5,15,0,3,25,14,20,0.0,0.782,0.218,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16685190265837788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35076192832757397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33255039927180896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31663248987259546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729695733010685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635289296598013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5239473961371613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4688281688227822,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,skdfdfsk,2019/03/22,Is my sleep deprivation caused by my worsening mental health or is my worsening mental health causing my sleep deprivation? I really don’t know but it sucks. Any suggestions?,6.021000000000001,9.26775776666667,6.7966666666666695,64.14500000000001,71.33333333333334,12.0,30.0,11.20814326018867,4.9719999999999995,143,6,21,6,3,47,21,30,0.332,0.6679999999999999,0.0,-0.8559,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,2,0,5,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,12,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603583488180053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48448202993495293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.50130832588704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959457469107313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4752804408588145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510654179545566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719590165223137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AquariusGemini,2019/03/22,"I think I might have borderline personality disorder I think I might have borderline personality disorder, I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder 2 years ago but I didn’t know anything about bpd at the time my partner brought it to my attention he believes it’s why I am the way I am. Lately I’ve been so paranoid I’ve been hearing things?  It’s gotten so bad I hear this scratching in the walls of my room(no rodents)I’ve been hearing more voices then usual like I’ve heard voices my whole life but I knew they were me and now it’s like there someone else talking to me I flipped out one night and brought my dad in to here it and he said he couldn’t hear anything and it’s like my brain got so loud with this scratching noise it felt unreal and I spent the next 2 hours screaming in the mirror and crying in the bathroom, I locked myself In convinced there were demons in the walls that were gonna come kill me. I had a lot of trauma as a kid, my mom was a pain killer addict and my dad was abusive I was adopted and convinced my whole childhood I was kidnapped from my real parents and then was over that then contacted my my birth mom at age 12 and I asked about my birth dad and she told me who he was I contacted him only to be met with “she shouldn’t have had you” “I want nothing to do with you” and all that horrible stuff. My adopted dad got cancer when I was 13 and beat it then got lung cancer and is still dealing with that today. So then when I was 16 after many years of depression suicidal thoughts and attempts spending most my time in hospitals, I got a call from my birth mom to find out my birth dad who had a lot of addictions (drug addictions, also had bi polar disorder ) had killed himself. In the time I was in schooled I was bullied and pushed down and kicked for being so weird. I dropped out when I was like 14. (Currently trying to get my ged but everything seems to be failing) it’s like my brain is out to get me. I’m not sure how to handle this and it’s weird pouring out my problems to a reddit but hey when there’s nothing left. I’ve been trying to get into a therapist but insurance has been hard so. I don’t even know what I’d say, hey my name is blah blah blah and I’m hearing people and I think it’s either a shit ton of demons or my own mind, what’s your name? Like no. I sound insane. I am insane and I get this anger that just makes me blackout and I say horrible stuff and I don’t know how to fix it. I feel others emotions so much and it’s like I’m taken over and I can’t control what I say when I’m mad all there is is what’s the worst I can say to hurt someone like they’ve hurt me when in reality they just like said a small comment or criticized me or something not worth how angry I get. I’ve destroyed things and broken glass, punched walls, hurt myself, I’m constantly afraid of being alone because I think I will die. Like I honest to god believe if I’m alone because a room I will get killed. I’m almost 20 and I still can’t sleep with lights off because I see things in the dark that aren’t actually there. I usually have my mom sleep next to me because I hallucinate really creepy shit like talk black figures and crawling monsters. My parents thought it was night terrors when I was younger but when they didn’t stop 🤷🏻‍♀️ 
I haven’t been able to sleep right in idk how long now I can’t fall asleep till I pass out of exhaustion. I can’t just lay down at 10 pm and shut off like, I can’t keep my eyes close for to long because I” know someone’s walking towards my bed to kill me or some supernatural monster is staring at me from the corners.. I’m to the point of no sleep I feel like I’m turning into the people of nightmare on elm street.. I feel sick all the time cause I sleep like 3 hours and then random nights I’ll crash after a week or 2 of that and sleep for  15 hours straight. I just don’t know what’s going on with me. I have to say certain things multiple times because it has to be in 2’s so it’s not alone. I have to check the door is closed  a even amount of times. I have to make sure everyone I love knows I love them before they sleep or I’ll never see them again and they will die.. I feel so paranoid and so exhausted. I usually get hit with really good periods of time, I start sleeping good and eating good and all of the good things. Painting feeling hood about myself and I just get hit with  hugeeeee moments of life’s great I’m gonna go see the world I’m gonna clean everything I’m gonna do this and that and just everything. And then the last like 6 months have just been horrible. No highs at all expect for 2 weeks in late December I felt better and then it was bad again. I need a job but I start off really good and love it and2 weeks in I end up hating everything and having huge panic attacks and crying my whole shift and end up quitting. It happened 4 times within ) months.. I just I thought it might be good instead of laying there listening to things that aren’t real and stupid thoughts to write it all out and see if anyone out there has been through something similar and could tell me what to do to make it better. Thanks for listening to me ramble and sorry i wrote so much. 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mentalhealth,TearsforGrowth,2019/03/22,"I feel I could ruuon my mums life and i only want the best for her I don’t know what to do. My [24f] mum [50f] has been struggling schizophrenia for the last 13 years. She was the best woman I could ever have known, the perfect mum. Dazzling and beautiful, with a naive outlook. She race me and my friends up climbing frames, get caked in mud with us. She was such a kid ha. Fed us extremely well - she's 5""6 my dad 5""10 and my brother has grown to be 6""4 and I 5""11. So kind hearted, always wanting to help people. She dedicated half her time to charity. She gave so much of herself but had previously been in a physically and mentally abusive marriage with my dad and was hurt so much by the people closest to her which unfortunately led to a breakdown that has destroyed her life. After losing her home and two businesses all in a space of months, something changed. 

She started believing no one could be trusted and everyone was out to hurt her. She believed it was a whole conspiracy all the way up to the government and she was a main target because of her qualities. She believed she was fighting spiritually for the human race and there were some people who 'didn’t like that'. She started taping letter boxes down, carrying around a suitcase with all the food and pans every time she left the house which then led to having to take all our clothes and EVERYTHING we owned around, to the shop, even if we were just getting milk. She thought people where coming in and 'tampering' with our things. She thought we were being drugged as part of an experiment. Neighbours who had known her for years didn’t recognise her. A few arguments happened with neighbours that caused her to be sectioned. My brother and I were put in care but that's another story.

Her several hospital experiences were the most traumatic experiences of our lives. She refused to take medication so it was forced onto her by injection. To be held down by several nurses, being forced an injection, is truly something i could only imagine in my nightmares. I can't imagine what she was feeling, especially when she truly believed they were injecting her with poison. The side effects she experienced were worse. When i went to visit her, she was in bed, with a swollen face and she just couldn’t move or talk. Her lips were so swollen and stiff, she couldn’t form words. She didn’t recognise who were. My brother and I tried telling the doctors that this wasn’t the right treatment, it was inhumane, but I was only 11, my brother was 10. Our voices weren't listened to and we had no other family to ask for help and the treatment continued.

After a few weeks of being sedated (zombified), she was able to start walking around so they would release her. She was not my mum. My chatterboxy, passionate mum had become emotionless, no laughter, no talking.  She walked extremely slowly, with her hands stiff slightly in front of her. (She couldn’t move her arms due to stiffness). She complained of weakness and achy bones, and feeling suicidal. She once said  I don’t know, but every time i have a knife in my hand, i just want to hurt myself with it' and 'every time I’m walking on a bridge, i just want to throw myself off it'. Nurses were coming round daily to give her the medication. My mum started to stop taking it by hiding the pill under her tongue and spitting it out until she just out right started refusing to take them. The physical side affects of the drug only started to ceed a year after she stopped taking it (puts to light how strong those were).

Anyway, after each sectioning, as time progressed the paranoia would start kicking in again which would lead to her being sectioned again and treated the same way as last time with the same drugs and stuff. An endless cycle.  She'd come out again, act a bit normal but then she start getting paranoid. It'll start with tissue paper in the cracks on the walls, then taping the windows, then the letter box, then huge furniture against the doors so no one can come in. Will start calling people 'sick' saying her past hospitalisation was all part of the big 'plan'. The 'conspiracy' was the only thing she could talk about. If i was talking about achievements in school, she'll respond with 'none of that matters, we're still slaves, you'll understand when you’re older what games are at play'. She hated all my friends because she thought they were  'all in on it.' If I went to a sleepover I had to promise I wouldn’t sleep because she told me my friends will inject me. The lowest point was one evening when she was scared because of helicopters in the sky, she brought our mattresses to the living room, brought ALL the furniture down to barricade us in the living room, with all the lights off because she thought they were coming to get us. Being children, we couldn’t help but slightly believe it. It was terrifying. She'd then be sectioned.

 This cycle happened throughout our teenage years, she must’ve been in and out of hospital 9 times. Every time she wouldn’t eat the food there as she believed it was poisoned so my brother and myself would do daily shops and drop it off to make sure she would eat. We couldn’t just drop off a weeks worth or two days worth because they would have to put it in the kitchen (no food allowed in the bedrooms) and she believed the food will be 'tampered with' if left in the kitchen. Once she was taken as far as London, about a two hour drive away from where me and my brother lived, she lost so much weight because we weren’t able to drop off food daily. Finally I turned 18 and as her nearest relative, had the power to request her discharge every time she’s been discharged. Which i have always done instantly as I didn’t wanted her going through another traumatic time again. 

A lot has happened in the last few years since her last sectioning, down to her becoming homeless. She’s moved countless times, due to not getting on with neighbours.  She was homeless for four months and spent a lot of that time sharing a room with me. We had to keep it a bit of a secret because my landlord wasn’t happy with it and he lived there. I became and anxious wreck during this time which affected my ability to support her. It led to a complete breakdown and having to be signed off work for two weeks, which didn’t help because the situation was in my bedroom. It was difficult having to listen to her rants every night. She now has very strong views that are not in line with my values. She would be rocking back and forth mumbling out loud all night. She said she was 'working hard'.

 Anyway we managed to sort out supported housing for her after a few months of trying to get help from the council. She's been moved 3 times this year due to antisocial behaviour. She can't leave the house unless i come over and house sit. She barricades herself in. She wont let me help with housework cause im her daughter, we've fought so much about that but she’s not able to keep up with the cleaning, wont let me help, and i can only just manage to go there once a week. All food (even tea, sugar, milk, eggs) she keeps in bags in her room because she thinks people come in whilst she’s asleep. Its a nightmare watching her trying to make a cup of tea - takes about 20 minutes trying to find everything. She's in a state where she has become abusive (never physically) to almost everyone. Shouting about how they're attacking her spiritually, 'theyre all sick', blah blah. They are proper rants and you just cant stop her. And ill be honest, i cant listen to it without having a panic attack majority of the time or just getting angry with her telling her to stop saying abusive things cause the things she’s say is against everything stand for, against everything SHE taught me to stand for morally ( which i instantly feel guilty about because i know IT'S NOT HER)

She is now back in hospital after being verbally abusive to the hostel staff and they raised concerns about the things she was saying. Doctors have told me they need to medicate. My mum is already saying she cant wait to leave in 72 hrs, because she knows its something that usually happens cause i always get her out. The thing is, seeing how her life is going downhill and seeing the quality of life she is living, its really dawned on me that she is not well this time round. I’ve spent my whole teenage and adult years defending her, saying she’s just traumatised, she’s not unwell (because that's all shed ever tell me and if i said otherwise she would start saying im on 'their side'.) I was worried if she loses the trust she has with me and my brother, she would have NO ONE cause she trusts no one else. I think i spent it all in denial. I never really said out loud she was 'unwell' just 'traumatised'. But this time round i can really see it and i have to admit she needs help. 

The thing different this time round is that if i discharge her she has no where to go to, shes homeless, she cant go back to her last supported housing hostel because she was verbally abusive to staff and other residents. The doctors have said she needs treatment and that they wont give her the same as the last times. I just don’t know what to do. 

Either she’s on the streets or they start the medication, which will be forced on her, with the risk of the side affects being as bad as last time and deepening the paranoia. She wants to be discharged immediately and is saying shed rather be on the streets. I feel if i go against her wishes, she'll start distrusting me. I also feel as though im taking away her freedom of choice. Its all messed up.  I love her and i cant see her suffer like this any more. I just want to think of a long term solution because it been going on for too long now and she deserves a life. 

I dont know what to do

Ps. Sorry for errors, typed this really quickly
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mentalhealth,Poison1990,2019/03/22,"What's the difference between negative thoughts and voices? I can be having a good time or in a good mood and then I these ideas trying to tear me down pop into my head. They tell me all the standard negative stuff... you're worthless, no one really likes you... people would be happier if you weren't here etc.",2.4933333333333323,4.808375737704921,3.656967213114754,86.95189890710384,78.50819672131148,7.3453551912568305,23.281420765027317,8.344100000000001,1.5388010928961742,244,8,48,5,6,79,51,61,0.177,0.65,0.174,-0.0534,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,4,0,6,1,1,0,1,10,7,5,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,1,8,3,5,2,2,5,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,2,3,38,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889260275795968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084158257031282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4638982043657288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838103975325776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121806327283032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351037494978838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18739104105481574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171840528864936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17715896459786956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31657278058741617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417086393264904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21954231554801173,0.16125302499528954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775288831506207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964464801931049,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lagarrafa,2019/03/22,"first post on reddit, i just want a advice first of all, english isn't my native language, so sorry if there are grammatical errors""I'm brazilian, 17, male"". Well, my story starts in the fifth grade, I changed of school and didn't have anyone do talk for six months, i don't talked to anyone for fuck SIX months. So, I gained a ""friend"", who stopped  stop talking to me after some time. At the same time, some people""many"" have bullied against me"" mainly verbally "", so i was alone for a year, well, I changed of school because my grades aren't so greats and i lose the school assistence. 

 In sixth grade  until the eighth grade, I encounter two-three people who are were ignored by everyone as well, but, they are good people. Still, I thought I was inferior to the others, I thought that nothing I did was good enough, that I was dumber than the others ""despite taking rankings like 9.0 or 10.0"", it was always sad and it was playing videogames all the day or lost in my world of imagination, was always one of two, I wanted to be accepted by others, but I did not succeed.

​

In high school, was the same, but I was BROKEN, I never liked to demonstrate feelings""for example, when  I was myopic, I hid this from my family for three years, and my myopia was grade 3 at the time, i was fifth grade"", so, I kept everything inside myself and I felt empty. But, socially speaking, I improved my communication, always pretending to be a cheerful and communicative person.

​

Now, I'm in college, i never felt so weak, i was thinking to suicide sometimes, i was thinking how the people would react to my death, things like this. Well, anyways, right now i'm thinking to make an appointment with a university psychologists, so, what do u think i have do to? i want advices.

​

I know the life isn't a great sea of roses, but i don't felt well.Apologizes if i broke any rule of post, i will change the post if necessary. thnks for ur time, friend of other side of world, have a good day :)!",6.54558887023267,6.652725546174143,6.446842168385704,79.52557147997125,65.30606860158312,9.107267929959225,32.00299832094027,8.710501217029153,2.4487245382585754,1558,56,295,21,22,492,190,379,0.183,0.7120000000000001,0.106,-0.9865,0,1,0,0,0,1,92.0,0,0,1,7,19,26,1,0,20,0,37,3,0,3,4,50,58,27,2,7,12,0,3,3,2,2,2,1,0,2,14,7,0,4,12,2,0,0,9,8,4,7,25,4,44,18,41,29,8,39,0,5,0,1,13,13,1,7,26,209,58,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962669086678473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399347895412818,0.0,0.0,0.1783390832094005,0.2322256237274728,0.2604334656188348,0.04858374046603749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999093174818968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04355103503160957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267318990423733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214974527447377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381979377246875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826691919610088,0.06420842857701517,0.0,0.06735017225498673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20578966552588612,0.0,0.0,0.12153888514240167,0.0,0.0,0.1103934840880754,0.06604797104625562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976918358955665,0.0,0.15753248344105458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548353057979257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03926324528162429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05046235625755029,0.1047104322394606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799265258009084,0.07798855514924825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047688806913437465,0.0724320639877339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405036072739005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020260657588686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068551556698302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841167616141207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858889676003412,0.06238133686106712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20526814969964524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101199516247899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28921682174641555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728272172922439,0.0,0.0,0.07065902735683224,0.07997467263813482,0.050567775761886376,0.0,0.05705453148691631,0.11945921838213296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814712769189483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371630073370131,0.1722697109140603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746360407933388,0.18311134927204206,0.0,0.11343564157827432,0.16663612480463186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139579005169724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641692888725425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32117951918114673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05075111023784688,0.0,0.2604334656188348,0.0920139950954648
mentalhealth,ogre_j,2019/03/22,"I dont know how to reach out for help. I'm struggling with anxiety/depression and have so for a few years. Sometimes it's ok and other times it's a nightmare. I always feel like a burden when ever I attempt to reach out to a friend. I'll second guess any  time I want to say I'm not ok. I don't really know why I feel the way I do because I haven't really had anything to cause me to feel like this in a long time, but I think the effect it had on me has stuck and I can't get rid of it. 

Not really sure what I want to say here. I just needed to get it out somewhere. ",0.9028461538461556,1.688596669230769,3.4584615384615383,93.42153846153849,78.46153846153847,6.7384615384615385,19.923076923076927,7.1686216300943375,0.14867692307692335,437,9,111,5,10,154,73,130,0.08,0.784,0.135,0.0597,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,1,7,2,9,0,0,3,2,26,24,7,0,3,4,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,8,7,0,0,7,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,3,5,14,6,17,21,1,13,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,9,69,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422253522302694,0.0,0.0,0.11786878279062755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14263393241112668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056589599567008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805529794141103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928689799541764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031387789179122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567848320122228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629190860870133,0.24765069360250105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391255461869975,0.0,0.1811131436362748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094000775895348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617790680451648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19051274707800855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16935832269746648,0.0,0.0,0.15338956426931474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852029673612192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3331144976355929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756742951307192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17142553183078835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811997503309446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16335931033966822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110613944439537,0.0,0.0,0.303206335256328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044663418822361,0.13757946417368902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15640129400479974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161735899263274
mentalhealth,SongOfSantaPaula,2019/03/22,"What if mental illness isn't real? That's rhetorical, really, because there are endless examples of folks losing half their lives to misdiagnosis. Or all of it.

I'm one. My sister is one. 25-30 years of being medicated, hard, for the wrong things. Gone. Years of peak performance, lost to the incompetence of shrinks, from one coast to the other.

'Addiction' isn't a disease OR real. Anything you can be talked out of isn't a disease. Any of the many gifted hypnotherapists can clean that up for you in an hour. Smoking. Drinking. Heroin. You betcha. The end of the 12 step white-knuckle routine. 

But, you know...shhhhh.....

PWR",1.7102705314009654,4.468034234782613,3.2164492753623186,83.38158212560387,93.6086956521739,6.033816425120772,22.910628019323678,7.3871296695380915,1.573309178743962,487,19,86,10,18,159,83,115,0.157,0.82,0.023,-0.9313,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,4,1,3,1,3,0,0,9,0,9,4,0,0,1,8,12,4,0,1,4,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,6,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,4,2,1,6,0,17,8,1,9,0,2,0,0,7,3,0,3,4,57,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190459104110584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321861257073695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15995946062601446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184931941458629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904199259295385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216436571809934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412769638168327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142668037331245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682702127688554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164247777990507,0.0,0.0,0.21746324357750485,0.2121904335855155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970723913738157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958189706556015,0.1958908923816604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951539249175568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44249753922709373,0.12452580408170935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562365340339651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913847050828686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125257201733447,0.0,0.2503507018161545
mentalhealth,BigFreightNyne,2019/03/22,"Advice for First Visit w Counselor Life has been crazy (moved, got sick, got fired, broke up w GF, mom sick, starting new job) and I feel overwhelmed/anxious. Pretty numb and out of it sometimes so decided to see a counselor. I was drinking 4-5 beer a night and watching an hour or so of porn, a day, but quit two weeks ago because I didn’t really like it anymore. It’s annoying feeling guilty too-started dating a girl recently.

Anyway-what should I say in a first visit? Just start there? I especially just feel zero emotion much of the time, other than vaguely anxious or unhappy",4.788482142857141,6.077710883928571,5.462857142857144,80.83214285714288,69.625,7.742857142857144,31.857142857142854,8.07648339933343,2.3951750000000005,457,20,83,6,8,148,87,112,0.225,0.7090000000000001,0.066,-0.9448,1,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,5,4,1,0,7,0,5,7,0,0,0,14,13,8,0,1,5,1,4,1,1,1,4,1,0,1,4,4,2,0,4,2,0,3,1,3,0,4,5,7,5,1,9,7,1,19,0,1,2,1,6,3,0,2,14,46,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662285262792795,0.1507913467915403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19217472756184614,0.16870239830103478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036968551829211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970621919702528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666420390250517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134970621623304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580366341478637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893892226110777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721033817713975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16752307924439358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168806914191169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201530031428686,0.08310665498684874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992295811811326,0.0,0.18079892450840054,0.1250496731325942,0.0,0.0,0.16429231269321573,0.0,0.15963575403059874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730619877242469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809318391303427,0.0,0.0,0.10897616834011783,0.0,0.16796209543818694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527748840012646,0.0,0.0,0.13555483280537814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16824213068344834,0.0,0.3612120343153847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919191409324384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617175544916246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645116276863736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mightkillmyself00,2019/03/22,My downward spiral Back in 1st grade at Willipa Valley Elementary in Raymond Wa. I had a 1st grade teacher named Mrs. Nieva who hated me for no good reason . She should say mean things to me but in a nice sweet voice like your such a idiot or your so dumb . Lucky a school official heard this and pulled me out of the class for good. That single teacher fucked me up do bad . That when people talk poorly of me a break down and really just want to end it all .  Thought of freeing myself from this pain is constant. . Thank you Mrs. Nieva for fucking with my head for life. ,4.222411504424777,5.311720831858409,4.4337942477876116,88.4326382743363,70.76991150442478,6.7119469026548675,23.85951327433629,6.6274283507984215,0.6296203539823009,446,11,91,3,8,139,86,113,0.202,0.599,0.199,-0.5483,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,0,5,15,5,0,6,0,4,5,1,1,1,15,12,6,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,2,7,4,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,7,0,0,3,4,13,9,18,8,2,14,0,0,0,2,11,8,3,2,5,60,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749411781765453,0.18187492667490465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23539163568783303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292845547626303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.402751737707992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3654028525536142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150572686912716,0.223551477170668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385636643807502,0.1064183801373273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372754785797777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317813492590412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101255301318814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954438799351526,0.22396056369707776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322332594021073,0.0,0.2204507112171068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750796285538701,0.0,0.2005441599405718,0.0,0.0,0.14471337058520878,0.0,0.0,0.1729288615530491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847893477654307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrackedOreo666,2019/03/22,"cleaned my room for the first time in years i spent 5 hours cleaning my room today. im having a couple friends over for the weekend and for once i had motivation to do it. i vacuumed and everything. i used to not be able to see my floor and now its spotless. its one of the best feelings in the world. after showing and coming in here to sleep i just felt so amazing in a clean body, clean clothes, and a clean room. the only downside is that its 1:30 am now and im not going to be able to sleep anytime soon. im super proud of myself and just wanted to share it with someone ",2.0976033057851247,3.5725869008264475,3.4645371900826447,91.7749876033058,76.68595041322314,5.831735537190082,24.49669421487604,6.2581,0.5602687603305783,449,15,99,3,10,147,73,121,0.015,0.7390000000000001,0.246,0.9844,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,5,7,6,0,0,8,0,7,3,3,2,0,18,15,8,0,1,4,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,6,9,0,0,3,2,1,2,2,0,0,2,3,3,9,6,19,10,1,22,0,0,1,0,2,10,0,0,10,68,15,1,0.3446308260582337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083439495790252,0.0,0.0,0.19140357814617354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843447047518218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19066372702518086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548659822685973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712785032637309,0.0,0.16544981917322593,0.0,0.0,0.14657140229519727,0.0,0.0,0.13313046065943224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793082023469868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696959715369877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5583906466343437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835102911093048,0.11676538342647046,0.13105363643853865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731307443247354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448797143192277,0.0,0.14600229027491993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004785030611223,0.0,0.16333486323920654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882519103402414,0.0,0.0,0.10163609514297893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096547640801553
mentalhealth,Thumperin,2019/03/22,"What is love? I have been struggling with egodistonic narcissistic personality disorder and through all my improvements I have come to a wall, I can’t comprehend love. I don’t understand what it is to love someone or something and to be loved and it leaves me with a great emptiness inside. I recently asked a few girls out, gotten their numbers yet quickly lost interest after a few days, now I understand that this may be something else entirely but I thought that maybe a spark mght have ignited in my heart yet alas I feel the ever-present emptiness. I’m not sure if I want advice or just to rant but if anyone has anything to say i’d like to hear it.",4.390472440944883,6.175959582677168,5.065362204724412,81.36654724409449,71.28346456692913,8.859527559055119,31.59763779527559,9.3871,2.953006929133858,525,24,100,12,10,169,85,127,0.156,0.6779999999999999,0.166,0.3235,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,5,10,0,1,6,0,12,5,1,1,2,24,27,9,0,3,8,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,2,8,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,4,3,13,8,12,20,3,11,0,1,0,4,10,3,0,5,8,69,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359798673022254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990642208552512,0.0,0.1293487031395476,0.0,0.1469454401056884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539974634736904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137041323543287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18014601394797009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130672158904355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218155771151436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947674685143227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732954648638326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17715733171153913,0.18626331308980795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664347281948197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679196330247648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158445830893895,0.0,0.5674573138184467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791204487151295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372466495040179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519983413046015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499870108498032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318114725018926,0.24201521652279065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432241836367634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814367507796922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478621430982342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32726732487708216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271095492874276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MossCrystal,2019/03/22,"I don't deserve happiness I am 18, I identify as a female, and I have been dealing with mental health issues since I was around 7. I don't need any permanent solutions but I need help getting to my next therapy appointment in one week.
I don't know how these feelings started but somehow I fully convinced myself that I as a human being do not deserve happiness or anything good at all in my life, which really hurts my relationship of three years. My boyfriend is the sweetest man I have ever met and I am totally in love with him, which leads my brain to tell me I don't deserve him. I am neither going to school nor working right now, and haven't been since July, which leads to me being fully convinced I am a true burden on everyone in my life. Hell I feel like a burden just typing this down because I know someone will read this and I don't want to waste their time.
I am adrift at sea and have no navigational tools. My dear boyfriend wants to help so bad and I have no idea how he can, which leads to him worrying which leads to me feeling like even more of a burden.
I am so overwhelmed with feelings of isolation and despair that I don't leave my house for weeks at a time. I spend an hour at most outside of my room just for eating. 
I feel like my few friends are only friends with me out of pity and it doesn't help that they have a tendency to flake on our plans while actively making more that don't include me.
I don't have any direction in my life whatsoever and I feel I'm not good at anything, especially the things I love doing. It's a consistent feeling that everyone would be better off if I didn't exist and I have nothing to prove that statement wrong. I'm sorry this is so long and I'm that you read this",4.4507434170238795,4.956966645070423,5.4205511328842615,83.69094917330068,69.87323943661971,8.540110226576854,29.519289650949176,8.587818076936951,2.051892835272505,1369,50,285,21,23,451,174,355,0.14800000000000002,0.649,0.203,0.9697,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,1,2,7,12,26,1,1,11,0,38,8,1,7,5,55,61,24,0,6,8,0,7,3,2,2,4,0,1,2,20,17,1,0,12,2,1,5,17,10,0,2,5,7,53,16,39,51,7,35,1,4,0,2,21,18,1,4,15,202,73,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375974284945259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665077202900718,0.09006228453997499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447228822655864,0.06167197473003915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947618178600125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112938596134333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430128941751192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352163291873023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682148602617215,0.09151358485710727,0.0,0.1933435433855386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35808029493803045,0.21682648576120364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563265753867698,0.0,0.05285687660654435,0.0,0.05749694576386631,0.16971231628254235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539358100822348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10753842415033557,0.0,0.0,0.20343530550290806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963155672979546,0.1167359942666718,0.10830401856985558,0.11420802620115515,0.0,0.10559465031202284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120019852892897,0.0,0.0,0.1071238694172272,0.0,0.0,0.21437698261419644,0.14827888995879113,0.0,0.0,0.08953180435758172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261880751889206,0.0,0.067531412117682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195503844663956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003177195488904,0.0,0.0,0.10759488753007862,0.0,0.0,0.09707484263770157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685550565376563,0.07694394684334786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20239371167164996,0.0,0.06481175815980922,0.0,0.0,0.1086181576855503,0.0,0.0863981813786668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238891285420257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673768752141895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857205703497513,0.0,0.0,0.1132509476847655,0.07160827720116954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842658294331347,0.0,0.1156961150298687,0.0,0.06721250572466772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798547233841823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934475859758932,0.0,0.16230410550652555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365258486174467,0.10274251572966124,0.0,0.07186789443323703,0.11061294227480747,0.0,0.06514982682063396
mentalhealth,BK4K2,2019/03/22,"Today was a milestone I sort of stopped dating for awhile because I couldn’t deal with it during university due to my anxiety and depressive episodes. Last semester (I’m taking my final class now) I decided to start putting myself out there again. I felt my mental health had finally become stable, and was reasonably happy with myself as a person.

For the most part it hasn’t gone well except for some meaningless hookups. (No sour feelings in either side)

Today I went to the game store to get Sekiro as I had pre ordered it. I’m the second person in line waiting for it. It’s 8:30, the game is released at 9:00.

There is this pretty young lady in front of me in line. I gave her a generous amount of personal space. Eventually she strokes of a conversation with me (I had just been tinkering around on reddit). 

We talk for awhile about various things. College, a few personal details, video games, and so on. Eventually I realize we’re flirting. I look at the time it’s 8:59. The clerk calls her up, shoot I’ve lost my chance. She’ll be gone before I work up the courage to ask for her number.

He quickly hands her the items, I somewhat hurriedly get mine. I look over, she’s standing there, presumably waiting on me. I look at her and say “would it be weird if I asked for your number?” 

She gave me a business card, we texted later while I played the new game. I think I’m going to ask her on a date tomorrow. I’m not sure why I felt this was such a big deal, but I’m proud of myself. Sorry if this isn’t the type of post that goes here, I wanted to share it with someone as I don’t like talking to my friends about my mental health.",2.445873983739837,4.474655091463415,3.6758292682926834,88.18217886178861,77.35365853658536,6.812357723577236,24.04308943089431,7.793537801064563,1.2112850406504068,1282,43,263,20,30,417,183,328,0.046,0.846,0.108,0.9587,0,0,0,1,0,0,44.0,2,1,0,3,14,13,0,0,18,0,17,4,1,1,1,38,46,12,0,5,7,0,5,1,1,2,3,1,0,4,13,12,0,3,8,6,1,6,6,3,1,1,15,10,47,10,47,26,9,47,0,2,3,0,36,19,0,6,20,171,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483134307201108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871653702259478,0.3110044632744841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759814952275837,0.12247044284868472,0.09436010863478038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323215152850262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286475887410583,0.0955102913810484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056069842384025764,0.0,0.21294557937005187,0.2429514308647108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567414343089348,0.0,0.1158719844401164,0.0,0.063021934255571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804557547388117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357439828050591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039099908923934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417576145609628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27936163820757165,0.0,0.12105067097065345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22350417555731625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070992586928992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008419147430045,0.0,0.0,0.3873031199835644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620296444991094,0.11281605505058935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147612481714947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401445933276227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818500688187758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939576194380591,0.0,0.0,0.12413344195155147,0.07848924978486277,0.0,0.0,0.0927098758985433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451349408323657,0.0,0.08337626249687771,0.17826003703714388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367108044883676,0.07105450168073803,0.0,0.0,0.06466145794388611,0.0,0.2102234820056519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654064092462718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970436360695786,0.10279710625446443,0.1000619167747056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072999877198363,0.0,0.0,0.07877381411977832,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,acepirate7,2019/03/22,"Advice on coping/therapy (kinda long, sorry) Bit of background: I'm currently in college, living in a small college town in the middle of nowhere without a car (and therefore no access to more than my school's resources). My school has a counseling center, with maybe 4 or 5 therapists.

I have had anxiety for pretty much as long as I can remember, a lot of social and also regarding food which makes eating healthy very hard for me, especially as my school requires you to be on a pretty shit meal plan. Lately I've also realized that I'm probably pretty depressed (took a couple of online quizzes which I know are far from concrete but help me to at least get an idea of how what I'm experiences compares to what's ""normal""). It's affecting my ability to wake up in time for my classes, get my work done, and feel comfortable in my friendships.

Now, I'm aware that I probably really need to see a therapist/psychiatrist of some sort, but the problem is... well, I used to, for about three years in high school. It didn't help anything, because one of the biggest effects of the social aspect of my anxiety is that it feels impossible to talk to people about the things that are actually really affecting me. I rant a lot about smaller things but the thoughts that hurt the worst and put me in the worst place mentally, I can't actually say out loud, and trying to makes my mental state worse and also sometimes can maje me feel like I'm physically almost choking. I've managed to scratch the surface with one friend, but this is a friend I would trust with my life (they let me use their room as an escape when I had a really shit roommate situation), and it was only when it was so bad I couldn't stop myself from crying when I was in their room. So even though I feel like I should try to go see a therapist again, I not only emotionally/anxiety-wise don't want to, but I have a rational basis to not go as well: I honestly believe that it just wouldn't be helpful for me. Maybe if I were able to see the same person for like, 5 years? But once I graduate I'm leaving this town so it feels like any effort I make while here will be a waste of time. 

I feel like, given the symptoms of social anxiety especially, this can't be terribly uncommon, so: have other people dealt with similar issues of doubt in the effectiveness of therapy? And if so, how have you dealt with it? Did you find other ways to cope, or did you find a way to make therapy work?

Going to say in advance that I appreciate any advice anyone has, since tomorrow I may not have the mental/emotional energy to actually respond to any comments, but that doesn't mean I'm not reading them! ",7.529668435013264,6.346280802681992,8.176781609195404,72.19830238726793,63.77011494252874,11.63230179781904,35.21102269378132,10.80991298281133,3.6875128794577066,2097,79,399,47,26,705,250,522,0.124,0.732,0.14300000000000002,0.8656,1,0,0,0,1,0,63.0,0,4,4,8,24,22,2,1,29,0,39,8,3,13,0,77,73,39,0,10,17,0,8,5,2,5,2,3,2,1,27,14,3,2,16,1,0,7,13,10,2,3,13,14,48,12,71,49,10,53,0,2,3,0,22,27,2,12,21,272,75,13,0.06398721078578383,0.0,0.1873268623824037,0.0,0.0,0.12505512363944032,0.0,0.0,0.0640739486685145,0.0,0.0,0.1535116480423464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054049264785902,0.0,0.14685012333128067,0.0,0.0,0.04474134555817542,0.0,0.05265602241300272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053426648258549404,0.039006009787195546,0.0,0.0,0.0720916747095251,0.0,0.0,0.06985746163577956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080063167826955,0.07028694644023929,0.0,0.0,0.05511209088841716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548113251892944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547489105854179,0.0,0.07197699969089001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042262949246252665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259177033160125,0.0,0.0,0.1941231382431407,0.1828499046824528,0.0,0.0,0.11696630286428532,0.0,0.07737358927229224,0.0,0.09887272065191473,0.0,0.06686135332168071,0.0,0.10909621942623647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05731997249500164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866783579158644,0.06760600133683314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849963256115299,0.07223377242708433,0.0,0.06678602366108538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03516569763773752,0.0,0.07218036085308821,0.06775321719827097,0.0,0.06543125829463171,0.045196059304637125,0.15630459535536653,0.0,0.056501879423892835,0.11325333597064445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879927681152374,0.0,0.0,0.17084784027338165,0.0,0.12856750740000594,0.06970083103934484,0.0,0.0,0.1934521755584295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047037962390386254,0.04744570601865482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269388079883233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814429117021288,0.08671878006095647,0.09733031435347313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872135043531974,0.05587116435637093,0.06685301628756014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952939915599859,0.13797807132813056,0.061227119060419374,0.0,0.06432482022592108,0.0,0.0,0.0640045266337639,0.0,0.12297553714664053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724850362590233,0.0,0.0,0.10177039655088067,0.0,0.2590338937174357,0.1529685676324854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136390470136047,0.05293088198759173,0.07192430588225772,0.0,0.19568070988992714,0.0,0.0,0.06328498761588341,0.07162844376457879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349617337455041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650721227185827,0.0,0.051430496237147176,0.0,0.0,0.2195248562227786,0.2228822506084064,0.08502051920971987,0.0,0.06286710971621844,0.050798697923109336,0.07462291436141773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109214557782434,0.08688623178543768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052881110895774,0.0,0.052796150181097734,0.03774131477292087,0.10158013912450403,0.0,0.0,0.11506437410301484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168138780855385,0.0,0.09316690307210597,0.0,0.06520843437106599,0.045454678659455336,0.0,0.0,0.08241133168586409
mentalhealth,Xayah581,2019/03/22,"How do you know when it's the right time to start considering therapy? I've been told that I often minimize my problems and I'm wondering if that's what I'm doing here. I know that something is wrong, and I'm about 95% sure I have health anxiety. I've been taking a few precautionary steps (daily exercise, not looking up symptoms) which seems to have minimized it but it's definitely still there. I've had 3 major panic attacks ever since it first started around 5 months ago, along with random daily episodes of anxiety & fear. Right now, my anxiety is contained, but I'm worried that it may get worse. 

So when exactly is it a good idea to start looking into therapy? For people who are doing therapy, how did you know you needed it? And if therapy isn't the right option right now, are there any other options?",5.022367066895367,6.152423792452836,6.151675242995997,76.70325900514584,68.937106918239,9.55540308747856,30.806746712407087,9.800150414767053,3.040793710691825,649,26,119,15,11,217,99,159,0.179,0.767,0.054000000000000006,-0.9629,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,1,15,7,1,2,4,0,16,3,0,2,3,31,34,12,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,15,7,0,1,6,1,0,1,2,5,0,1,5,2,8,2,11,28,2,21,0,0,2,0,5,7,0,9,13,77,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337001493127952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634968019624526,0.0,0.07930055226582232,0.0,0.26762491034613856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380991825913058,0.0,0.13266364289947785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548275354262908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312215711551631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919059978823906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060925259313434725,0.0,0.0,0.09780909828596786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395371800508792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164140711105546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922616705536173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958503927964101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307904769210472,0.0,0.0,0.08646674944158526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681973540707945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084447911043413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158248885043127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983460198669941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615971189811126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646313006162688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977406018379891,0.0,0.0,0.24761695001078096,0.0,0.09312695590704954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990597528024727,0.12120511932751166,0.08767814649506618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5334265860786024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799773235698728,0.0,0.0,0.11142831617753786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646136713550554,0.0,0.11842573408072392,0.11883818008786963,0.0,0.1274975485532235,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,doggened,2019/03/22,"Do I have some kind of mental disorder? This is gonna be weird and I know you guys won’t understand but it’s worth a shot.

For some reason I feel really bad about throwing things out. Like, even a piece of candy wrapper is hard to throw out. I seriously once filled up a whole notebook/journal thing with random pieces of garbage. I also can’t sell or lose any of my things without crying about it upwards of 5 times a month at night.

I once lost a cat sweater on accident (this was 5 or more years ago) and I keep crying and can’t forget about it.

I’m probably just being a hoarder but this has been really affecting my life.",1.9452325581395369,3.917949356589148,3.4211046511627927,89.68188953488372,78.68992248062015,6.78062015503876,22.377906976744185,7.793537801064563,0.9689116279069768,493,15,105,8,12,162,91,129,0.191,0.716,0.093,-0.8952,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,6,7,0,0,6,0,12,1,0,2,0,22,19,8,0,0,6,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,9,6,0,1,4,0,2,3,4,5,0,0,3,2,10,2,17,12,6,13,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,5,6,70,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883013612781815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426678768749736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417539212487955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018658251795568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688528903926889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19242395965949388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089406906625278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489352606172466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624395306639694,0.0,0.0,0.15040230514201586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492341428031804,0.0,0.1748383906639264,0.09227153741401516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859027851671483,0.08202575968712171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878332614360417,0.1832788867222528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920020411886338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401340173814513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575595119266739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357608631970731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18102084738971166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21511762198356704,0.17262558736096725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346289657054869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979018119500246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478620020481378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874504704685029,0.0,0.16184625544916473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811985522548928
mentalhealth,EncodedVulpes,2019/03/22,"Feeling pretty off lately So for the past few days I've had some really weird feelings. I have anxiety but it seems to have gotten quite bad in the last few days. I find myself going into..well, its hard to describe, but the closest thing to it would be disassociation. Another thing is I've been feeling really emotional, small things have been making me very angry and lash out or feel like I'm about to cry. I don't have much of a social life, either. I'm worried theres something seriously wrong with me, I have struggled with depression in the past but this feels a lot different. Any help is appreciated.",4.524369114877587,6.1595524915254245,5.723333333333336,77.38145951035784,70.6949152542373,8.63427495291902,26.670433145009408,9.150863307647796,2.2215845574387942,486,16,90,10,9,162,84,118,0.253,0.615,0.132,-0.9592,2,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,1,6,0,13,1,0,1,0,20,24,6,0,1,5,0,6,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,4,6,7,1,13,18,6,13,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,4,7,59,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633377807561296,0.1639626694201113,0.11961904009974555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055850895032453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717599592154935,0.20168538835724056,0.0,0.13467721906689326,0.0,0.0,0.16336847640332575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588993628955218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3953150145711933,0.11170741425478566,0.0,0.0,0.14291506764088918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886601352617204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400726114392454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480837645863099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745860377965906,0.17638688923308168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104454482094452,0.07639219594283622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293620148736454,0.0,0.0,0.1043750638049175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494650018153718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29853677782292554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590797425137552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663137628307877,0.0,0.0,0.20034325304646589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14234911262288816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939474991291275,0.0,0.12037766093395826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634669806786129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116465073146485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290177630571931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879657034379252,0.0,0.11107743540031972,0.17096092833752186,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,threejay96,2019/03/22,"Self Research INTRO

First off I would like to start by saying that my words are not a cry for help. I’m writing this to seek feedback and try to gain a better understanding of myself. 

BACKGROUND

I will start by saying that I do not consider myself abused. I started to notice a decline in myself around 17 yrs old. I ended up in some crazy fling with a girl that I had intense yet inexplicable feelings for and there was way too much drama at home. I lived with my mother and step father. My mother is sweet but an alcoholic and my step father was  someone I cannot describe in just a couple words. My step father seemed to care in his own way. Went out of his way for us some days and the next he’d be punching holes in walls screaming at the top of his lungs. Occasionally, we’d be throwing hands at each other. Now he is in jail for sexual assault. His 3rd offense. So much of my child hood is blank and that’s about everything I know. I ended up moving out of state to live with my biological father. That went well. Met some interesting people my last year of high school but gave up on many of my dreams. I graduated and didn’t have a clue what I wanted out of life, so I joined the Army. No real stresses there, just smooth sailing until I was honorably discharged. I got married while I was in the army and I am still married. 

MORE RECENT TIMES 

After I got out I went back to school. It went well. I held a 3.6 GPA for a couple of semesters. Then suddenly it all stopped making sense to me. I haven’t had hopes and dreams in a long time so I couldn’t understand why I even cared about getting my degree, so I withdrew. It used to be that I cared a lot about everything but now I don’t. I live like a machine. At first it started off as self hatred for unknown reasons. My escape was beating myself every day when I got home. It was cutting, to hitting myself with a hammer and everything in between. I have been hospitalized a few times due to damage that I’ve caused myself. Plenty of scars to constantly remind me of how much I used  to love it. I didn’t do it out of pity but just for the hell of it. It was entertaining. It was the best high I have ever felt. I don’t think I was trying to kill myself, yet I really didn’t care if I did die. When I had more than two days off I would beat myself to where I couldn’t breathe, occasionally sending myself unconscious. My family and friends have been out of my life since I left home at 18, so they have no input on this. I never had interest in making new friends so I didn’t. I consider new relationships exhausting and honestly a waste of my time. I don’t really know why I feel this way. 

PRESENT

For a while self harm was the only subject that interested me. I was obsessed. Now I have lost interest in that area, I can honestly say that I believe myself to be emotionless, not the kind that depression brings either. For me depression was only a numbness. I still was able to feel certain ways and even through the numbness there was this unexplainable emotional burning sensation I would get. Not anymore.

I used to enjoy music, now it’s just words with sound. 

My conversations are professional only, I have no interests to discuss. 

I still eat, sometimes. Don’t really care about the food quality though.

My sex drive is completely gone. 

I get drug tested at work and I get told that I look strung out and lifeless, but I take no drugs at all. I also don’t even day dream my only focus is getting from one task to the next. No one likes or hates me. There is nothing to like or hate. 

My weekends are dull. All I do is nothing. I just sit around and wait for Monday to roll around. 

I only have phone service Incase work needs to get ahold of me. I have no personal relationships. My wife and I are separated and to be honest when she said she was leaving I couldn’t even feel anything. I sat and tried to think about how I felt but nothing came to me.

CLOSING

Thanks for anyone who took the time to read this. In opinion, could there actually be something wrong with me? I neither engage in nor have interest in self harm anymore. I am not actively seeking to commit suicide or put myself into dangerous situations but at the same time the thought of dying has no effect on me.",2.5126427189163043,4.581101297169816,3.928773584905663,86.25909046927916,77.30188679245283,6.7543783260764405,23.961417513304305,7.748469712250963,1.216761744073536,3332,111,671,51,78,1098,359,848,0.17,0.6920000000000001,0.139,-0.9887,0,0,4,0,1,3,82.0,2,0,1,13,50,57,8,2,31,0,77,15,3,10,7,116,141,49,4,11,22,7,8,4,2,4,8,6,3,7,31,39,3,3,16,7,0,16,29,23,2,5,46,16,118,34,118,78,19,127,1,6,1,2,44,50,1,11,58,486,149,13,0.05242525941741437,0.06211535976777621,0.051159490756808514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602665877774538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04192446101538173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398354050928303,0.03665696033265211,0.0,0.04314152157893654,0.1400087870458218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04031178847385127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059065314803851215,0.05501707537710097,0.046365881661185486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996053052505643,0.2672552296821896,0.05385518262402005,0.0,0.0,0.05496688706685876,0.05665308101561045,0.0,0.04185730376262151,0.1160151048019969,0.05758668576949625,0.13523982116292405,0.0,0.09030759823346772,0.0,0.1088182847884938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159331401179295,0.05364412836437642,0.0,0.05897136059758384,0.09286643840487382,0.0,0.0,0.13850555764322006,0.04742164854579586,0.044170542142069766,0.0,0.14134932829239175,0.0,0.049421868850133666,0.0,0.10603114545696354,0.0,0.10067294083849627,0.0,0.0,0.08918579775799296,0.06339283178377883,0.0,0.08100725075883113,0.0,0.16434020563687118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578780728408942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351818007943146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03513954631045242,0.11078032984194328,0.15776042907013238,0.052070111647824935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05800078209697888,0.054592840266963635,0.05762310307366408,0.042733583531358116,0.0,0.055510780113155495,0.056960197751259524,0.0,0.07405902225126726,0.10244933459683944,0.0,0.13887739362256207,0.04639470485770676,0.04402401427165068,0.0,0.0572283635712926,0.044570080811667766,0.04731584344300041,0.0,0.06998853549987015,0.05315098457942288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571975407577462,0.11561579339837948,0.03887266557996271,0.040433591977436234,0.10126528445561526,0.1115097162840421,0.0,0.0,0.15091035098422334,0.059686505319006114,0.05501149088071892,0.0,0.07104942511523563,0.19935886079804588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036345073924275065,0.045775714386764574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270186566831375,0.0,0.0,0.05243944643715223,0.059671422566948025,0.10075489082485303,0.05390189809572811,0.051763619044275455,0.1125702180173301,0.0,0.0,0.04986842696956955,0.12507201145369548,0.0,0.10611432276289026,0.0,0.04772598721857086,0.2187639163863995,0.0,0.0,0.043366716337767786,0.05892818811743796,0.0,0.0,0.04441975217797811,0.04035952596596512,0.05184992207423506,0.0,0.1484274737879011,0.0,0.12560063967364632,0.04382986432068195,0.060052957536185884,0.0,0.0,0.057344724838732875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03941727067786024,0.0,0.0,0.04826613531581831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718397879096608,0.05150755120002893,0.04161980001912431,0.1834175421543763,0.0,0.0,0.05009458200847529,0.058246392188203815,0.10677992958004902,0.0,0.05121186076268327,0.10915308785920663,0.06306113212721037,0.1358357754071587,0.0,0.0,0.03092177629602601,0.20806365365289195,0.0,0.0,0.09427320847360916,0.19439496282456767,0.09461128479348176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633242647540765,0.0,0.0,0.11172420040786896,0.057318791317843835,0.0,0.033760148235168014
mentalhealth,FatalFreckles,2019/03/22,"Mental Health - Insurance Options? Hello! I'm looking for a little help/advice, so I'll try to give as much info as possible.

​

I'm struggling with severe mental health problems, including depression. I want to try and get some sort of health insurance so that I can go to see a psychiatrist to get properly diagnosed, pay for presumed prescriptions, and start seeing a therapist. That's all I'd be using this health insurance for, and I'd like to see the therapist ideally once a week, but once a month is fine too if that somehow fits a plan better.

​

I really don't know anything about insurance, and through googling all I've gotten is a bunch of sites redirecting me to other sites, and it's a never-ending cycle. I'd like to take the necessary steps to get covered as soon as possible. I applied for Medicaid but after reading that its mostly for people currently pregnant or with children, and older people, I'm pretty discouraged and not convinced I'll be accepted.

​

So, important information!

​

* I'm 24 years old
* I live in North Carolina, USA
* I'm single (not married nor do I have children)
* I live at home for the moment (3 people in the house, including myself)
* I personally make around $12k/year atm, but the household makes around $27k all together
* Depression is my only known illness
* I'm never physically sick, so I honestly wouldn't be applying this insurance very often, just for therapy and prescription coverage, mostly.
* I'm a non-smoker (a lot of websites asked me this, so it seems relevant)

​

Thanks for reading and any help/advice/links are super appreciated. To be honest, if someone gives me enough information to where I'm able to apply for an affordable provider that suits me, I'd be grateful enough to PayPal a little money to show my appreciation. Thanks to anyone who reads this and tries their best to help!

​

Let me know if I can add any useful information!",5.1001582867783934,7.390784583798883,6.137743016759777,72.31261080074489,70.4804469273743,9.466070763500932,31.765735567970204,9.888512548439397,3.679108081936685,1563,71,250,42,30,518,194,358,0.063,0.735,0.202,0.9956,2,0,1,0,0,0,82.0,0,0,1,5,14,18,0,1,17,0,16,7,0,4,4,56,48,27,0,7,10,0,0,2,0,1,7,0,1,3,14,15,0,1,10,4,3,2,6,5,0,0,1,4,19,13,41,40,13,25,0,3,4,0,13,12,0,13,13,152,33,4,0.059801976415679074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058437799231336136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38877249876831865,0.4359956819853269,0.08133478931962658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0418149323750521,0.0,0.0492119311314858,0.10647287553043984,0.05590677527524457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275848475950757,0.05288998838360228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030147093162599,0.06069774724020002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296680093729409,0.12358285542668768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373219332491703,0.11473500998610865,0.03398684133411773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542668178535083,0.0,0.0,0.12025201265960553,0.0,0.059986258300043824,0.0,0.0,0.06900345161664571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573120456252499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06115157259289562,0.0,0.058432449924387765,0.1198745818228395,0.1056124815960844,0.0,0.050218598676542714,0.0,0.0,0.050841501809696224,0.0,0.0,0.07983656725484603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205326533040806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773336703086015,0.0,0.043961333569120666,0.0,0.0922459417733517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275211447303414,0.12737430631464958,0.0,0.04548209784438826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437748202674367,0.05221677913641062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483548599321854,0.0,0.06084010921334949,0.0,0.057222414996477074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794544790394007,0.0,0.038310677409006864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296329784592668,0.05444147332367633,0.0,0.06755921139388546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050670020552256334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042328146706101064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251801015081071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044963643816797655,0.0,0.0,0.11011525046927084,0.06838877182525267,0.13886940771106596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180484944425107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032994136487578,0.0,0.04934289351255994,0.035272755105749634,0.0,0.04796953828104745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359956819853269,0.07702102425376693
mentalhealth,IllustriousCover17,2019/03/23,how do i deal with getting yelled at? i got yelled at for something that was my fault and it has been digging at me and the best parts of my day are ruined now by the comments repeating in my head and it's causing me to have trouble sleeping and my heart is racing when i'm thinking about what happened. I know what I need to do to improve but my self esteem is trashed. i have been yelled at before but this time it's really getting to me and i don't want to feel this way anymore.,3.3038418862690726,3.881064155339807,4.239833564493761,90.8728155339806,72.49514563106796,6.662413314840499,28.30651872399445,6.18269132825596,1.025325658807212,380,14,85,2,7,123,65,103,0.07200000000000001,0.882,0.046,-0.1363,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,12,3,3,2,0,15,22,9,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,4,14,1,15,18,2,11,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,63,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376433262855649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20390298162962006,0.0,0.2514713526983767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24616058798932944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545381162730896,0.24704255729067945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116145484588445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503880448689107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19164977317725904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118993423961925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24592408734255974,0.0,0.0,0.28395643873751364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169147557635813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776786884686626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594902129984078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15350972713493682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499808359414345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397977671733181,0.0,0.0,0.1844748111265617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354184051425612,0.0,0.0,0.1397270972027781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133686423169525,0.1902029436237049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,strokman,2019/03/23,"Need direction on what to do with family in the same house with mental illness I'm gonna try and keep this as simple as possible to spare some details and make a clear and understandable post. So my aunt living in the same home had a mental illness. From what I remember it started about 10 yrs ago when she said she started seeing faces and demons in the reflection of things like TV, window mirror ect. So she moved back to my grandmas house where we all stay now. 

Back then it wasn't very apparent as it seemed she had it under 'control'. Fast forward to now her mental illness has deteriorated her as a person and seems like she cant tell the difference between delusion and reality. Basically she will have episodes every once and a while where shes just crying in agony and she keeps on saying someone is shooting air at her and she thinks someone is releasing some sort of bad energy at her and shes begging them to stop and reveal who they are. Theres more things I could go into but I'll spare it.

The family used to just bear it and we just wouldnt get a night of sleep but now it's getting bad. I've always said she needs to get some help but my grandma would defend her because, you know family can be like that. But now my grandma cant take it anymore and hence is why I'm here seeking help. 

So my aunt is not willing to seek help and I was wondering what I can do to get out of this pickle so to speak. I've googled some resource centers and tried teaching out but as I write this it's the weekend so I have to wait til Monday. 

Has anyone had a similar experience where someone in your house has mental illness and wont seek help? I am truly lost on what to do and any serious advice would greatly help. Thank you so much.",3.473267419962333,4.8473823531073466,4.556666666666668,85.74586629001884,72.92655367231639,7.3913370998116745,26.105461393596983,7.921354282810032,1.4269517890772128,1379,46,283,19,27,451,185,354,0.073,0.83,0.097,0.8906,1,0,0,1,0,1,18.0,2,3,2,2,22,9,0,0,12,0,33,6,2,3,2,65,62,37,0,6,9,2,0,3,0,7,4,4,2,1,20,24,0,5,9,2,0,3,6,4,0,0,8,5,35,5,41,45,9,42,1,1,1,0,38,20,0,8,22,194,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902219520446263,0.08075495229180531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758027784873848,0.0,0.0,0.061951353293289366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903470551605784,0.06369947399314785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010107211317618,0.1521299526792914,0.05553392002449332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217677464414468,0.07273620639176151,0.0,0.1000694427262188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518046270726846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675596325797288,0.0,0.0,0.08911361061411745,0.2576438707091308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903846647402777,0.0,0.05177442106694732,0.0,0.0,0.10043844342994043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30531317872800473,0.0,0.09138106612865544,0.0,0.0,0.3153526734612936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194833110989462,0.0,0.0,0.05006636287264383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352106937288147,0.0,0.08044326682679709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944677965381694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608101825197072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672308516777231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682524119417646,0.06696923001748155,0.13509949148454226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549149520249925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701888597727476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954530058238768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027019421715348,0.08724894062580539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319892315420852,0.0,0.17331456498305153,0.0724466446805443,0.0,0.0,0.07259517398737161,0.16586865108499899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116612882348506,0.0,0.2315670603590231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289625751920194,0.09710083822232547,0.0,0.07616396114359664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849611603471346,0.0,0.0796257101659063,0.08387295082295992,0.0,0.0,0.12104603213690955,0.05837341763904125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370229801834348,0.0,0.0,0.09483866390260882,0.0,0.07868144152676357,0.0,0.0751673190299177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220388461659266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879442966679873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943013157125735,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnxiousCurator,2019/03/23,Off to my first psychologist appointment tomorrow I've been waiting months for this to happen! What are some things I need to do before and keep in mind for this appointment. ,7.470625000000003,8.4418298125,6.8750000000000036,74.27000000000002,63.375,11.4,31.625,11.20814326018867,3.690825,142,5,25,4,2,44,26,32,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,7,6,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3574365878593839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35729928950973044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714539989087626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733649378797389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42413666176475145,0.0,0.3352845701067592,0.0,0.0,0.3114660885976156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790664402630874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HanAndChewiee,2019/03/23,"Concerned about my sibling Not sure if this is the right place for this, but I need some advice. 

I’ll start by saying my sister has always been a little different. 
We always said she just had learning disabilities, but with age and new developments, I think she might have some sort of mental illness. 

She is 32 years old.
She is constantly being catfished by people pretending to be celebrities and she thinks that they are in love. She sends them a ton of money and has almost resorted to stealing things from loved ones to send to them as well. 

At this point, I really think she needs some help. 
I know she needs to be seen by a therapist and maybe even admitted somewhere, I just don’t know what steps to take, or where to even turn. 

Any help would be appreciated. ",4.764675324675324,6.344564564625852,4.8735188620902905,83.9239703153989,70.0204081632653,8.066542980828695,24.9282622139765,8.575989854853784,1.5507605442176868,609,17,118,10,11,190,102,147,0.061,0.765,0.173,0.9608,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,3,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,16,3,0,0,1,31,32,9,0,5,7,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,6,6,0,0,7,1,1,3,2,1,1,1,4,3,19,4,19,22,4,16,0,0,1,2,22,7,0,8,6,84,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498122302497268,0.0,0.0,0.1535172789659181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551315046374379,0.0,0.0,0.10425569019658576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567306238035528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017575573851986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025189052394897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20552019920345854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850973996352075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365635504205427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767355470093974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540199590444333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449987719351482,0.16263711006518825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410310666640692,0.0,0.14806723207125114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608724891379941,0.0,0.103886457966526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628547629767716,0.0,0.16017575573851986,0.0,0.14492699396250588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821396596919577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309254414114441,0.14583240424052452,0.12191783620673707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851322506646076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449235197204904,0.0,0.11526963453368193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800409971203598,0.1018519931779972,0.2947035353504221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16675666886614054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784361651876342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890664192042762,0.0,0.0,0.09872626597296397
mentalhealth,diamondtearsinthesky,2019/03/23,"[NEED ADVICE!] Hi Reddit, I would like to know if there's any way to have less thoughts even for a moment, to have a peaceful mind. [Living in Australia, F18 almost 19] I tend to think a lot even if I'm not personally pushing in my thoughts. I somehow have some thoughts almost all day. 

Now I want to learn some ways of stopping to have so many thoughts and often reflecting about things in my mind (I'm a deep thinker). Depending on what I am thinking about, sometimes it can be quite deep and heavy, and overwhelming. In that case, depending on the topic, I happened to have a breakdown and cry on my own. Which has happened to me a few times recently.

I wish to learn some ways of controlling so much thinking in my mind so that I can control my emotions when surrounded with others, and also not stress myself out with my thoughts... and, well, relax and not be so focused about some stuff. 

I feel like my explanation is a bit messy, sorry. English is my second language and my mind is a bit messy right now too, but I am constantly improving my level.

Thank you to everybody who replies, it means a lot since it's been going on for as long as I can remember.",6.055283400809717,5.8768730438596535,6.155263157894738,82.1703036437247,66.36842105263158,9.296086369770581,33.327935222672075,8.841846274778883,2.5840097165991907,906,36,183,13,13,288,126,228,0.036000000000000004,0.858,0.106,0.9215,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,3,19,7,0,2,10,0,18,0,0,4,1,57,39,19,0,6,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,11,11,0,3,16,1,0,2,3,2,1,1,6,1,24,5,31,30,13,30,0,1,0,0,4,15,0,14,12,135,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184287599050164,0.0,0.0,0.2087231620284053,0.0,0.0,0.08334494037339063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087338136743614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275631607992792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126251249236705,0.2337838685126339,0.0,0.0,0.11448111139697015,0.0672134748899722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723381562234235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767305725077889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052696917752804585,0.07445500682219561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05923080117369209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18432334329971656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727675411309691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183355344907563,0.0,0.09202843885051312,0.0922316904345638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17720875296752234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566303139672382,0.0,0.11352646553597336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42093119332206935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661391602605475,0.07727803569682329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100115049098656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110851123256224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029049781027164,0.0,0.11806128919881438,0.08900357114663345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621211340164657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307654669803806,0.11666609897154095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713284178038172,0.1193840074238006,0.0,0.11930731490533535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595205454102253,0.0,0.0,0.06923933976098792,0.2003404899227858,0.0,0.4136964038337527,0.06077169804950585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147183623150381,0.24817568151262995,0.0,0.0,0.09370657068385972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984820749172526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403511455076482,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DragonChickenGum,2019/03/23,"My roommate has bipolar disorder and severe anxiety and I don't know what to do I'm a first year in college and I was placed with my roommate randomly. We got along a lot better at the beginning of the year, but still pretty well now. That said, he has a lot of bad personality traits: he calls his female friends dumb bitches even when they  make their discomfort with being called that clear; he treats his mom like shit (screams at her for normal normal mistakes, refers to her as a dumb bitch), verbally abused one of my suite mates and tried to pass it off as him helping him get his shit in order, etc. He's constantly complaining, and whining, and calling everyone else stupid...it's extremely abrasive to be around.

Early on he warned me he struggled with bipolar disorder and had panic attacks so I was prepared if they happened during the year. First semester it didn't seem like he had any issues, but second semester he told me he had had lots of suicidal thoughts during high school and this semester he's had more panic attacks and anxiety. He once told me that a night where I thought he was just doing work on his laptop he was actually writing a suicide note (although he said it helps him vent and calm down). Since then I've been worried I might come back and find him harming himself.

Another issue is his drinking. He never drinks to get buzzed: only to get drunk. Once he's drunk his behavior is just dangerous. He's stumbled into the room looking for more alcohol, will pour himself huge glasses of mixed drink , and doesn't seem to know when to stop. He recently bought everclear which is 90% alcohol, and has been proposing adding it to drinks which is super dangerous with that alchol content. One time he forced his friend to take a shot of it even though he didn't want to. He's also forced or really pushed us to drink more when we don't want to. He also told me that he had bought cocaine, which I told him he should get rid of, although I have no idea if he still has it.

Last night he added everclear to one of my friend's drinks and didn't tell him about it until afterwards. He also ""joked ""about putting a tylenol in his drink which we all took super seriously and angrily told him he should never do. Later last night he also stormed out of a friend's dorm for no reason and texted me later that he didn't want to talk to me or my suite mate again for the rest of the semester, even though we hasn't done anything. He explained today that it was because I was joking back and forth with my suite mate and he felt left out of the conversation, and his anxiety blew it out of proportion to where he thought we hated him. On top of everything, he has a huge crush on said suite mate and is constantly theorizing on whether or said suite mate is queer too. For that reason he especially cares what this suite mate thinks of him.

My problem is this: clearly he has a lot of issues, which I understand, but I can't bring myself to be totally honest with him and neither can my suite mates. We have all agreed that he has a bad relationship with alcohol and decided we wouldn't drink with him for the foreseeable future. However, I'm afraid all of us confronting him because I don't think he can take it. Just talking him earlier about last night, I could tell he was on the edge of an anxiety attack because he was worried about talking to the suite mate he has a crush on and who 's drink he added everclear to. He's drinking again tonight and is hoping that the dunkeness will make it easier. I can't be honest with him, and I have to continue putting up with this because I live in a double with him. It's toxic for me. It stresses me out and it feels like I'm stuck. 

Any advice on how to deal with this would be awesome.",6.749108108108107,6.230527991891898,6.6939189189189205,80.02101351351352,65.02702702702703,10.156756756756756,33.09459459459461,9.57969875127883,2.819862162162164,2974,108,594,51,40,945,293,740,0.2,0.6859999999999999,0.114,-0.9972,1,0,14,0,1,1,66.0,9,0,3,7,34,47,13,6,26,0,65,21,2,5,8,116,114,52,2,15,12,1,2,3,12,7,6,5,2,1,37,53,15,1,19,14,2,7,17,28,1,6,39,8,72,19,89,62,15,80,0,1,1,1,123,32,7,14,43,380,109,5,0.0,0.05880507661013151,0.04843307330967336,0.0,0.0,0.04849921597428263,0.0,0.15912257325494195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587608057694589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067502088807617,0.052042835647483895,0.15187149773147718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04084240179903299,0.04418245599318103,0.0,0.1693885997387073,0.0,0.07632694452253701,0.08288026838929813,0.1210193289428758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043894927653574764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203758264259784,0.0,0.050602505772082716,0.0,0.0,0.04275304436442871,0.0,0.1072677927577986,0.0,0.03962662316787263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051167779645605455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376373640514152,0.0,0.0,0.05079013951371746,0.0,0.4861986340113662,0.0,0.0,0.04146065443167021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535211483973244,0.09834318707871184,0.0,0.0,0.04742491621676345,0.04460548947474557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025095120011247925,0.03545667206583141,0.04765391378805304,0.0,0.04536218764361949,0.0844328631324328,0.0,0.0,0.15338034278988258,0.0,0.10372140287287873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039694753287085716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04388887071800948,0.0,0.0,0.04900071844444452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665337436845501,0.05243828424729365,0.0,0.04929516493176498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602779362609766,0.0,0.15540681699414902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455222353100175,0.12136861137640652,0.0,0.0,0.05392464609419705,0.0,0.0,0.07274216464511461,0.0,0.04382542311553896,0.0,0.0416778642449876,0.0,0.0,0.16877931812347344,0.0,0.0,0.06625867108051234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265105734916542,0.0,0.05812767942089408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655756910191555,0.0,0.0,0.18630277450549806,0.09725644105219353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571161256558802,0.100894534845181,0.037746905518912806,0.0,0.1164634755521594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043336211871924914,0.05185423485423736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05049296235397799,0.0,0.047490533524335736,0.0,0.09978650239517084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03179513674745228,0.10205866178030742,0.04900500608700342,0.05328553452219098,0.0,0.0,0.1888432541861311,0.0,0.0,0.05022961231193868,0.0,0.09036509955588054,0.0,0.056069339152787084,0.10189180898665777,0.04105559536492042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927137792115987,0.041494061031366165,0.0568525849609969,0.05188550076267538,0.0,0.10857736153942346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463325111984123,0.11967548415824802,0.0867600378888058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636035762256948,0.09752516947955564,0.11820532978186013,0.028940460293970512,0.0,0.04704475066990077,0.23712458108381726,0.055142296006920735,0.033696453195337324,0.0,0.0,0.0516680231571559,0.11940089278162748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878216320797585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04462457649202437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036132240105387056,0.1008061632689232,0.0,0.03525671261103406,0.0,0.0,0.09588295603988542
mentalhealth,SadMan318,2019/03/23,"I don’t hate women…I hate myself I’m depressed, I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been ghosted, the only girls who’ve wanted me are extremely unattractive or are single mothers.

The girls that are smart, attractive, funny, either ghost me or don’t even give me the time of day.

I say it’s not fair I have standards, that I should lower them because I’m nothing special.

I don’t hate women for choosing guys that are in better shape, smarter, funnier, etc.

It just hurts when we start heading towards something serious, then they cut it off.

Then two weeks later they’re with a guy I couldn’t compete with.

It sucks knowing I’m the problem, knowing I’m slightly below average.

I have sisters, and I want them to be with whoever they want, whoever makes them happy. Just like I want in life. 

If it wasn’t for my sisters, I’d probably an incel.

Sure, I hate my ex for cheating physically and emotionally on me.

I hate when they ghost me.

But men do the same thing.

I’m the problem here. Not them. ",1.381796512911059,3.8762370406091406,2.9646479805782384,89.06313175899362,84.68527918781727,5.2534981240344285,25.316486426837344,6.7026698264267655,1.1073073935113662,775,33,151,9,23,254,113,197,0.257,0.61,0.132,-0.9814,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,7,2,6,21,9,0,8,0,16,2,1,1,1,30,36,10,3,9,9,4,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,6,9,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,14,0,1,3,1,27,7,15,30,4,17,0,2,0,0,20,8,1,3,10,96,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068925921981372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706722312255115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853653039255565,0.0,0.11400688796681842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889425546494084,0.0,0.0,0.1476233980697839,0.0874266833682681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697780264758207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621268670002865,0.0,0.14090637253253924,0.0,0.6534215165557893,0.13584599686406545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170084657065507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549009795246753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349422216837676,0.06466748114295671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835552358581421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700902112513165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067052497371072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271324373840727,0.2533133180297948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105262983229996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190203360962537,0.0,0.0,0.09368953834641996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475365783809735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879382786260829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718384568809432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930262761389227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122922593336866,0.0,0.10617625022534867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vincentlhuang,2019/03/23,"I think I need help I’m 18 years old and I was just kicked out of my house. I’m constantly stressing about graduating hs, money, relationships, and how I’m going to be able to survive on my own. My anxiety is going through the fucking roof.I really feel like this is all a dream because I’m so overwhelmed with all the things that could go wrong. I don’t know what I should do. All of my motivation to do anything is slowly being drained from me. I try so hard to keep a positive mindset and try to make sure happiness is my default emotion, but I am too tired to keep it up. Sorry for the shitty post I don’t post much on reddit I just needed to let this out. Any advice would be appreciated. ",1.9017948717948696,3.7408925555555577,3.971666666666668,86.31692307692309,78.30555555555556,6.930769230769231,24.27136752136752,7.882392219407189,1.2635893162393157,544,19,116,9,13,186,93,144,0.127,0.7440000000000001,0.129,-0.1496,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,7,7,1,2,5,0,17,2,0,3,4,26,33,7,0,5,3,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,4,1,1,3,2,4,0,0,1,2,15,3,19,25,5,13,0,1,0,1,2,5,1,0,4,77,21,2,0.15968704849804674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604433564384435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108592668880893,0.0,0.12216015501833333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131408834695566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734374260281146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256496956309664,0.0,0.1274971143722931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796264362711783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074256977956537,0.11408045935398554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762810317362585,0.0,0.0,0.2722614889527501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998983249477193,0.14304822972139353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10703486254972408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425741397321008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838743717634815,0.0,0.0,0.08775982567742502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632908262177987,0.0,0.07801502579176453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659234486269946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738835447335552,0.23681184614811435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756469514581332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058721017677293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229961228841823,0.0,0.0,0.17144412887728985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787565770223437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292097452829395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505031533908163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060889794042094,0.10232101279713487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835367713347017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21683404759402752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343709760776473,0.1745927194397731,0.0,0.10283322368720116
mentalhealth,b_mason99,2019/03/23,"What’s wrong with me So basically since I was around 4 I spend about 10-15 hours a day running up and down my room or lying in bed. During this time I’m “daydreaming” 
Any time I walk or if I’m driving or on a bus I suddenly find myself transported inside my head.
Most of my dreams are linked and they have a consistent story line. 
I’ve never shared what I do I keep it hidden away so I pretend it doesn’t exist.
To my knowledge I don’t have any other mental illnesses I just need help it’s taking over my life. ",0.7829090909090901,2.7286507454545488,3.113636363636364,90.55045454545456,82.45454545454545,6.181818181818183,19.090909090909093,7.348242739294969,0.3858181818181817,402,10,89,6,11,138,79,110,0.134,0.81,0.056,-0.7869,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,7,3,1,0,1,16,12,8,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,7,4,0,1,3,2,1,4,3,1,0,0,1,0,17,1,11,11,1,18,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,5,6,56,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35713608534751284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233757942208492,0.0,0.0,0.2467089620319407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934677619203586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399995971089639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694898345068233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17600641093297356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585951244646507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333992315201596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854728371916045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646257543522088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19470480044564029,0.20252314421486894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172145317166044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743260995717726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30623297382695125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870974670458086,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,welmanshirezeo,2019/03/23,"Mental Health Support in Australia My partner is suffering from depression and is in recovery from a eating disorder. She was given a Mental Health Plan, covering 6 sessions with another 4 sessions added by her psychologist. Now her MHP is finished and we are at a loss as to where to turn. The session price is 200 per session and they are reccomending weekly visits. My partner only has casual work and I work a low paying full time job, we simply can't afford 200 per week on top of rent and bills.

Are there any options out there? Are we able to get these sessions subsidised?

I'd hate to think how she'd be left to deal with this if she were single or unemployed.",4.480697674418604,6.1998764883720945,5.265806201550387,80.28568604651164,70.93798449612403,8.26077519379845,29.17906976744186,8.841846274778883,2.4597869767441853,533,21,96,10,10,173,91,129,0.134,0.8190000000000001,0.047,-0.9129,5,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,3,0,1,5,5,7,1,0,5,0,14,3,0,1,0,16,20,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,2,2,11,1,0,1,1,4,1,1,5,0,0,3,0,12,2,17,15,2,16,0,4,0,0,13,10,0,3,5,63,14,10,0.19168619298823544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303531844316417,0.20099968677522104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19762004805838165,0.16509903714023708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21968898407746326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961428299375058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014812428049866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892504306607728,0.0,0.4075069189920069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902189688760288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082676095479489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863491949167832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457859874782236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175232202188916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282477251762347,0.0,0.0,0.1117737606309703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20849953389523573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30751820336448304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27909966293395083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,weakforjawlines,2019/03/23,"Supportive managers I outed myself with having mental health difficulties (anxiety and bipolar) at work and my manager was so nice, understanding, and supportive. ",16.8675,15.795560750000005,15.403333333333334,27.375000000000032,45.66666666666666,19.6,57.33333333333334,17.122413403193686,10.663633333333337,134,8,12,6,1,44,21,24,0.075,0.65,0.274,0.7019,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,3,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482578330329972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34495086487120435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270410457287277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7365256337701386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378380185273091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23625530175652396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-t_h_r_o_w_a_w_a_y--,2019/03/23,"Should I get Help? Yesterday, I was reading a tragic story about a man who killed his mom. The story said that he was suicidal afterwards, and I thought that if I ever did an act like that, not that I ever would, that I would be suicidal also. Later that day, me and my family has a disagreement. I then thought back on that story, and of course the disagreement would not cause me to do anything like that, but then a voice in my head said that I should harm myself, since I made anyone angry. Of course, I thought that that was ridiculous, since having an argument and murder are two completely different things. Now I'm worried that something like that might happen again to me. I love life and would never want to commit suicide, but I am worried that something like that might happen again.",7.564917218543048,7.04666843046358,7.0878062913907325,77.86495447019868,63.37086092715232,10.199006622516556,32.12003311258278,9.516144504307137,2.7681847682119205,627,20,116,10,8,196,83,151,0.284,0.618,0.097,-0.9871,1,0,2,0,0,2,19.0,0,0,0,0,8,10,3,0,8,0,18,3,1,2,4,28,30,11,5,8,5,1,0,4,0,8,1,3,0,1,17,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,5,0,1,10,3,19,5,8,11,0,16,0,1,0,1,9,2,0,3,17,91,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963039087549828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420402976237545,0.0,0.0990995962038654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259946830351856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370975005507386,0.0,0.0,0.12626342589568554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766422681341083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581859805406914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21786279436673656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352606647698515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629171442523006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129830359830292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123590894977018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071840590465107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323253040118385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505980934081117,0.2353344833080353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108688354226616,0.11394914113261778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555040004102985,0.0,0.1410404213548167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928792608926464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12045768848387745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291036938492754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199233773889822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541825043831275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39517653999817137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800050852364197,0.0,0.0,0.28681223274201345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763782399618353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102984393435413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24459506872212736,0.0,0.34218614276616105,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayyyy457,2019/03/23,"I don’t know what’s going on. Please help. (22f) Since my pre-teen years I’ve been very irritable, snappy, and emotional. I take things very personally. Sometimes I have sadness, but that’s usually at certain times of the year (winter) and when I’m stressed. I’m in therapy and I’m taking medication for my anxiety (buspirone). What could I be missing that can help? What else can I do? Does this sound like an extension of my anxiety or more? ",0.8819946332737025,3.45121526744186,2.9062790697674465,86.00875670840792,94.0,6.832200357781752,24.057245080500888,7.882392219407189,1.9327202146690523,347,15,68,9,13,116,62,86,0.157,0.6779999999999999,0.16399999999999998,0.1639,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,2,0,8,1,0,0,1,8,16,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,1,8,2,6,13,1,10,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,1,7,38,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105645699935601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206629115077875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776327584729091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956717366400872,0.22832979759915176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536054483794594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721119341825176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115547558044968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916778074823047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20448513112384345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723789132507775,0.0,0.222815592685677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791054952101694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075647047605927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325176068606696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052375710712553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321300147018772,0.0,0.13485362008905158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836166418143915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223558314658808,0.33496629024925123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614302174933743
mentalhealth,VastLeague,2019/03/23,"Lately I've been having ""serious"" thoughts about suicide  

Hey reddit.

I'll spare you the ""my childhood was bad"" story and give you a brief rundown of my life;

* Dad goes to jail at 2
* Dad comes back at 6, leaves until 11
* Dad comes back at the age of 12 for 2 years, and then separates from my mom talking my eldest sister with him.
* From 14 - 16, my mom, two little sisters (10, and 4) are homeless, in and out of shelters and charity ran hotel rooms.
* Mom overdoses at 16, sisters move to newfoundland with retired grandparents, I stay in ontario (homeless) so I can get an education. \*My mom survived, but she went to jail shortly after for multiple drug possession charges
* Graduate highschool in 2018, was living in a community ran youth homeless shelter, was actually pretty nice all things considered. Suburban ontario, so there was always food and clothes and warmth.
* Saved enough money in highschool to live on residence during college
* Here I am now

I don't have very much friends. It was kind of hard to make friends in highschool. I didn't relate to anyone at all, and everyone seemed to not want to talk to me after telling them I was in a homeless shelter. This only escalated in college. I've made one good friend, and I'm very thankful to him for being so kind for no reason at all. Lately I've been feeling really alone. All my life it's been me and my sisters against the world. Although my mom has been there physically, she's never been there mentally, and ironically most of my childhood trauma comes from her abuse. I've been the role model to my little sisters because my eldest sister was always out with friends. I wouldn't leave the house if my sisters where there because I was genuinely worried for the safety of my sisters, and this kind of mindset fucks with someone mentally like you wouldn't understand.

I've always understood suicide. I've had suicidal tendencies in the past, but not like the past few times.

Lately when I think about suicide it's been a relieving feeling, my life feels like it's not going to get any better, and the more I become aware of this, the more worried I get. My first youngest sister (13) just started smoking, and I feel 100% to blame for this. Like I said earlier, I treated my sisters as my own children, I would brush their hair for school, get their clothes ready, make their lunches etc because my mom was always either shooting oxy in her arm, or smoking crack using the sink filter as a pipe filter.

I don't know what to make of this, I've been breaking down in tears randomly for the past few weeks (had a few outbursts writing this).

I'm also going to mention that I have severe social anxiety, so the thought of going to the doctors to tell them whats going on almost gives me a panic attack.",5.056356814088456,6.486568233840302,5.4669761857114265,80.52138483089854,69.13307984790876,7.894256553932362,31.902941765059037,8.288913261614885,2.4915482889733847,2185,95,391,31,38,698,258,526,0.126,0.74,0.134,0.5577,2,1,1,1,1,3,77.0,0,3,5,3,18,24,2,1,22,0,33,10,2,6,5,63,72,29,4,5,9,19,6,4,4,3,5,1,1,1,14,23,2,0,12,1,1,12,10,6,0,3,28,8,53,18,72,40,15,66,0,0,0,1,50,28,1,6,28,253,67,8,0.0,0.07691797464710139,0.06335122951396366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650066420214533,0.06723613419493307,0.0,0.05191541418307029,0.2160700411325388,0.0,0.0,0.0441469024005669,0.0,0.04966258308604282,0.0,0.0,0.045392623596610934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385432670827789,0.0,0.09983685630746574,0.05420435403033424,0.11872140398462094,0.07169753917952527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741526288246191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776498418554686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644698045199686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528501387887046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707831055497471,0.07240144578219031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06203254401633471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129926299312528,0.046377890485739634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05521976332808423,0.07849987903446429,0.0,0.20062392565684176,0.06001623801635483,0.13566924314087772,0.12455175282694304,0.14757904014574386,0.05445067647755937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05815435149688442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749073961906043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20280832563474815,0.0356775876198558,0.0,0.21969316593383656,0.13747893575268513,0.0,0.0,0.13756186917073776,0.12686387635188645,0.1301310671192617,0.11464869968450085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142758828985642,0.13000109198335966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308454432846878,0.0,0.0,0.4561915701564632,0.0,0.06899824209931632,0.047722671164685,0.0,0.05006925846101439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04399055161345058,0.049373552235285036,0.0,0.07616803834153082,0.0,0.0,0.1859165671348095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604559711654524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041588544105736286,0.06674717568501799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061752494321478224,0.0,0.0,0.06570113107679855,0.0,0.059099493082069014,0.0,0.07333958658070629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617637965016476,0.055005354305759466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04594974861464854,0.06919463417885625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840418284804903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435828998679504,0.11348350821743446,0.0597683630331582,0.0,0.0,0.04312906080861092,0.041597244197366524,0.0,0.1030762997962764,0.037854581942395486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341607973457257,0.06758259531938525,0.0,0.05606886266670467,0.0,0.10712935619714717,0.038290696762814866,0.0,0.05207381840928048,0.0,0.0,0.06018023109728994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185606341433956,0.0,0.04611634034141246,0.0,0.0,0.04180547670887304
mentalhealth,dumb-weeb,2019/03/23,"looking for help okay so this might be long, i just need to let everything out.

so hi ive been extremely depressed for as long as i can remember. i lived in a house with my parents for a while, but they were addicted to drugs. all kinds actually, but mostly pills and heroin. i used to have to watch my dad shoot up in the car in a random parking lot. my mom also went through chemotherapy when i was realllllly young. and unfortunately, she passed away when i was 10. she had a blood clot in her lungs. during that time, i had a horrible eating disorder where i threw up everything. i couldn’t keep anything down, but, i was also bullied a lot. i had barely any friends and the ones i did they could never understand what was going on. my friends were a girl younger than me and (at the time) a guy who was 5 years older than me. but moving on from me being 10. last summer i was sexually assaulted, twice. one 17 year old and the other was 15/16. one guy did it at my best friend house and the other did it in a mental hospital, a MENTAL HOSPITAL. ive never felt comfortable with my body after that. keep in mind, i was only 13. after a long time of recovering, me and my boyfriend broke up. and that broke me, and it happened because his mom didnt like me. then i started to guy hop, getting used by everyone. and now the present, im 14. i have gender dysphoria and an eating disorder (again). i also have bipolar depression, anxiety, and a slight bpd. and i have been cutting myself. it hurts so bad but i dont know how to stop",1.3579329004329033,3.651284295454545,3.4129870129870135,87.21686147186148,82.66883116883116,6.720346320346321,22.645021645021643,7.898369717300924,1.2346567099567096,1185,41,247,23,33,401,170,308,0.21,0.728,0.062,-0.9945,1,0,1,1,0,1,46.0,0,0,2,1,13,16,2,0,19,1,33,9,3,3,3,44,48,31,0,3,6,4,1,1,3,1,4,0,0,4,12,16,2,3,4,0,0,6,5,8,0,4,22,3,41,8,37,20,5,49,0,5,2,0,20,17,0,5,27,184,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0918684067573264,0.10262799991659208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585448256031665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401936659993827,0.0,0.07201789797248474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747033431946854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844892539181247,0.0,0.07860411995601868,0.057387711418481625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879557017813644,0.0,0.0,0.104569850450678,0.11856777245042313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516423152272532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216766517921802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157883548598475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033299615310632,0.0,0.10917411281229457,0.1926602681855233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995612286622273,0.1692164040251859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039048807553253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21820018982542225,0.0,0.04918498547284532,0.0,0.053502715704896564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796443010611249,0.08324891136810247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310098255399321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21725302555821155,0.1007802942966474,0.0,0.1016888450695839,0.0,0.0,0.1673543680392142,0.0,0.09803376033440478,0.05173764040141665,0.07673778952802658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626593925516293,0.0,0.045992722970504295,0.0,0.08312856323090559,0.2499364763528269,0.07905504903134908,0.0,0.0,0.16007126938292593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897447373672653,0.09986912707004242,0.09505595704163976,0.22051449276218488,0.0,0.10005738829935902,0.0,0.06980464035925278,0.1452152716726771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878554195507222,0.0,0.19137790632206408,0.07159876161212446,0.0,0.0,0.10453286153444746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664383169889176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663375325962657,0.0,0.0,0.07870640899596841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646837871116299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800449658437277,0.0,0.16261585201752524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727000236005089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124792426098535
mentalhealth,Sir_Celsius,2019/03/23,It feels like I'm getting permanent brain damage from loneliness And it's probably close to the truth.,4.391052631578948,7.389342052631584,4.883421052631579,76.97144736842105,75.84210526315789,10.115789473684213,30.552631578947373,10.125756701596842,4.089715789473684,85,4,14,3,2,27,18,19,0.252,0.546,0.202,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5814288687033987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633519805287574,0.37208767311374297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721170177463861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544557549921205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5615528166707653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LALALATHROW25,2019/03/23,"Not having a fantastic time, just need to get it out somewhere I feel like I might be listened to. Throwaway account. Just want to say some stuff.

I'm 19 now and I've had some troubles in my family since 13ish.

I had a breakdown at 16 and I straight up refused to go to school. I only have really basic qualifications because of this and I absolutely fucking loathe myself for making such a stupid decision. 
My parents would scream at me every day asking why I wouldn't go to school and I honestly don't even have a proper valid reason. I couldn't get past the door of the house even though I wasn't really bullied or anything at school. 
I went to the doctors once but they passed me onto the school councillor who I couldn't make myself see. 

I am my own worst enemy. I do fuck all around the house just to get my parents to yell at me. I hate it but I don't stop?? I just want to waste away in my room. 

I couldn't kill myself because I have a nephew and I don't want him to think that this is a good way out but I just want this all to end. I fucking hate myself.

I cant even go outside to walk the dog any more because I live in a rural community and I'm so sure that everyone is judging me and talking about me.

I want this to be over so badly but I procrastinate everything and I'm a failure in comparison to my brother.",0.9373340748980326,3.0415397992831537,3.0495241626498597,90.33451612903228,82.9068100358423,5.998813496477569,21.80706958348783,7.237678284180719,0.6939377332838954,1040,34,227,15,29,352,142,279,0.179,0.7170000000000001,0.104,-0.9827,2,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,1,0,15,15,7,0,14,0,23,4,0,3,3,47,51,16,1,11,11,4,1,1,0,3,1,4,2,0,10,11,0,2,4,0,1,6,10,11,0,0,4,6,43,4,34,39,7,30,0,0,1,3,12,17,3,4,7,158,53,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088575905301701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577940932536211,0.09279437081804054,0.09744893260910832,0.0,0.09793550837518504,0.0,0.08703479905691787,0.1906284785494184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722521339098532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066925285806756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232437731646376,0.0,0.0,0.206545651754134,0.0,0.08782543767250127,0.0996043602037888,0.09368284849259093,0.0,0.09826678713598774,0.0,0.052706121008899334,0.07446801002095071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891004593274397,0.16338095240968611,0.0,0.17772343662064707,0.08743031386529375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058278896214348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405544828254077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532446345418232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092566908780494,0.0,0.09204451116226983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916002530743352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058058294392732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729153192361123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101060766855243,0.0,0.07927808151941873,0.0,0.0,0.2314890518101557,0.0,0.09950744948689716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335557131549568,0.10717454579592033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289464436252883,0.0,0.4219797352722826,0.08306459404234012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622716992092587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871480591003193,0.0,0.0,0.11932815133789867,0.0,0.0,0.09824355896144482,0.0,0.0,0.08378296320846554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679182613288331,0.1024138035940651,0.0,0.06078231152604895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30741285991859063,0.08273967472271869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663014004041642,0.094059039042574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404804441741113,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,insecticidalgoth,2019/03/23,"prodromal schizophrenia or ocd? hi i think i need some help.   for the past.   4/5 months(? time is really hard for me)  i have had (possibly) on and off psychotic symptoms that have affected my life a lot.

these include: completely withdrawing from my “friends”/isolating, disorganised thoughts /  repetitive thoughts, repeating the same thing outloud a lot or talking outloud to no one / myself / the sky (this is always embarrassing afterwards but at the time i can’t control it). 

delusions, (thinking everything is a gameshow or tv show that ppl offscreen are controlling / laughing about, that everyone is actually not real and i’m the only real person, that people are pretending to be people i know but are really imposters/fakes/implants, that lyrics in songs or things on shows or posters are put there directly for me and to impact my life / as a joke, thinking i’m in hell or that i’m going to be found by angels/god and taken back to hell) 

confusion, complete disassociation / depersonalisation or derealization (not recognising my appearance at all / my voice / my
body etc), amnesia (not always completely sometimes just very very very fuzzy recollections but some amnesia as well), speaking or thinking incoherently (afterwards realising this but at the time it makes sense)

hearing laughter or small things that aren’t there such as someone knocking, someone walking directly behind me, cars crashing outside my house, babies crying. smelling things that aren’t there such as orange cake (when there’s none in the house and i have been ill with the flu so i can’t smell anything anyways bc my sinuses are blocked) etc 

it’s worth mentioning i’ve been diagnosed with avpd, ocd and autism. so i thought at first isolation was avoidance, repetition and disorganised thoughts were from autism, and i thought the rest was me convincing myself / obsessesing over possibly having / developing  schizophrenia because my aunt had it badly and i think her sons did too (they killed themselves one at 14 and one into their middle 20s) and my uncle i think has it too (but we don’t talk to him anymore, the last time we did he wanted hair and blood samples mailed to him “because of the government” or smth weird)  on my dads side 

my mum has diagnosed bipolar type 2 though i’ve suspected she was misdiagnosed and actually had bpd for years 

i’m 21 this year and male 

i’ve been seeing a clinical psychologist for 7 years for major depression, panic disorder, social anxiety, ocd, avpd and cptsd. 

tldr: basically my question is, is it possible i am overthinking and overworrying about developing schizophrenia and overblowing small symptoms of my other mental illnesses or could i really be developing it? ",6.536804993252362,9.022530352564104,6.585380116959065,69.78447368421055,67.05555555555556,10.225461088618983,35.606387764282495,10.426177893888326,4.427747008547008,2167,109,335,62,38,689,254,468,0.138,0.82,0.042,-0.9936,3,2,0,0,0,0,69.0,2,0,2,3,18,14,3,4,16,0,39,15,3,4,1,77,64,41,1,3,20,4,2,0,0,0,12,4,0,2,24,22,0,4,16,6,1,5,10,10,1,4,19,10,41,4,41,41,11,42,2,1,1,0,25,19,2,18,18,228,65,2,0.0,0.0,0.15259118807462227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301094885478086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059809988015177985,0.0,0.07753679596784037,0.0,0.0,0.06433817006085801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060118109129332936,0.06527976523709814,0.09531959217885673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684398848455062,0.09846909239083262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459210151885453,0.0,0.17537837208205762,0.0624229797468103,0.0,0.0858806515551363,0.0,0.0,0.06733913640831432,0.15870874783665742,0.0,0.0,0.0896048015933029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743900270757909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470746553275208,0.0702660823326492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650265003597593,0.0,0.08572392076504796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044433354418535416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700368537019699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811822815794412,0.0,0.052404598253370516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042599438076154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649820510828128,0.0,0.042967480854892215,0.06372980052453159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044631236347682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329372416149237,0.0,0.0,0.05218794023133808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879034786751972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240514068434835,0.0,0.0,0.05797190449637715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589370226810244,0.05946190036758445,0.0,0.0917312225273052,0.0,0.0,0.07463477841316088,0.10840487129022157,0.06826661622224413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644196710618361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859578132144425,0.08758315615873134,0.0,0.0,0.1779793568875908,0.15025861543830074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062301944249365485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969799852953244,0.1324888629372433,0.0,0.07732525376859005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625247079947979,0.0,0.12568150276397605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20776596381220927,0.30058009740634684,0.07681466641046326,0.3103439185182454,0.18235717529002599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352815878879984,0.04611451866104002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029614970649467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104238878963233
mentalhealth,chicaburrita,2019/03/23,"I'm having a tough day. I'm having a tough day. I've been working on my business taxes for over a week now, I can't afford to pay for someone to do it and it's really depressing me and giving me anxiety. I feel very overwhelmed. So, I turned to Reddit today to make me happy. Everyone keeps down voting some comments I made in a post making me even more bummed. I'm being stalked by someone on Reddit massaging me that I'm a whore and saying awful things. I'm thinking of deleting my account all together because it seems like the trolls and mean people have significantly increased in the last couple of months. My boyfriend is out of town, I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep in the last week. I don't want to shower or do basic functions. 

Do any of you have a really nice movie that I can watch to make myself a little happier? ",4.066754385964914,5.057753058479534,5.4248099415204685,81.55019736842105,71.046783625731,7.805263157894737,26.530701754385966,8.07648339933343,1.6519859649122806,667,21,129,9,12,224,105,171,0.096,0.787,0.117,0.5535,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,3,8,0,1,10,1,14,2,1,4,1,18,32,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,6,5,0,1,4,0,3,1,3,5,0,1,3,3,17,3,23,28,5,22,0,2,1,1,4,10,0,3,11,83,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250287297667358,0.0,0.1265588970643346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084889543630167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830529587594424,0.0,0.2133864331564608,0.0,0.14249069621846966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092696169800018,0.0,0.0,0.15808219921223735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364994769291416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870230146806044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611082524789384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292217803599945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704805912298224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26970656681850425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082419031941766,0.16581139466592887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654054501790768,0.33129156391377884,0.0,0.0,0.18020945643144715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205028187184228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146932260161126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844297118264195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21196643208889576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156218921474871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060768483526554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555653533906886,0.0,0.2803485659015712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990903066603552,0.10600538714253943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15681498757525547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994801338982472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365028993763071,0.09757906353221216,0.0,0.2654072589171927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204401490604046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fake1856,2019/03/23,"I feel stuck Throwaway account. 21M in USA 

I’ve had a major anxiety disorder for years, like any particular situation could trigger a panic attack resulting in me throwing up. My parents new about it when it first started 10+ years ago but they never thought it was bad enough to seek outside help. If I told my parents I was having an episode the conversation would usually end with them telling me to control my breathing and power through it. Over time I became uncomfortable telling them about my situation because I felt like they wouldn’t accept how serious it is. It’s been so long no since I’ve told them about an episode that the think I’m cured. I’m now a junior in college and my symptoms are getting a lot worse. I constantly feel anxious like I’m on the verge of having a panic attack at any moment and it’s getting to be too much. I need help and I’m not comfortable asking for it especially from my parents. Anxiety has always hindered me leading a normal life an lately my mood has severely taken a hit as I watch everyone I know have happy healthy relationships and friendships. I’m scared that I’ll never have anything like that if I continue on this way. I’ve also noticed that I’ve stopped eating full meals regularly an am concerned that even though I’m aware of it it continues to happen. 

My family has good insurance, but I haven’t been to even a general practitioner for years. I feel like I can’t even talk to my parents about my mental health so even thinking about setting up an appointment to see some kind of doctor really freaks me out. 

Sorry for the rant but I think I really need help and I don’t know what to do.",5.129686713286713,6.1318812707692345,6.146748251748253,77.3052972027972,68.6,9.232167832167832,32.61888111888112,9.457814108942452,3.0420461538461536,1323,58,246,27,22,440,177,325,0.16899999999999998,0.705,0.127,-0.8661,5,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,5,4,17,19,2,3,17,0,23,7,1,5,2,42,52,18,0,8,6,4,4,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,17,8,2,2,11,0,1,2,8,8,0,1,11,6,35,10,34,36,6,37,0,0,2,0,20,12,0,4,26,159,52,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865757916350452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096076612124243,0.07383402355486395,0.0,0.0,0.12068469704111587,0.0,0.13576295205575645,0.10024447137087887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302074609269905,0.0,0.08295456708105747,0.2018960914424124,0.0,0.0,0.07408941158662441,0.054091589266279286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589022576871233,0.09952303248476976,0.07084709667884424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016971645236748,0.09082328848788283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079731389381017,0.0,0.0,0.07859222821902527,0.0916862242553744,0.0,0.2344326019792317,0.0,0.0,0.08478940054925467,0.0,0.0,0.08365077550937047,0.0,0.13460014390367206,0.06339178241649028,0.08519881754660126,0.0,0.0,0.07547732734977107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271999062183388,0.0,0.0,0.07442609828831029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846742463296913,0.09445928369806947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432038287967416,0.0,0.0,0.17843013841688224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240309061235236,0.0975320717633152,0.0,0.10009612502427123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626756412588339,0.2167554184219558,0.0,0.0,0.07852703936882857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754387058028308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942327673832605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522990060825702,0.13159067827810395,0.13687468338352216,0.08570011387647379,0.0,0.0,0.08694074754584975,0.0,0.10102455802550096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20822110117845333,0.3941156370371796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369089500869302,0.0,0.0,0.09526740141053068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888384871696433,0.0,0.07070972717767937,0.0,0.0,0.10024447137087887,0.0,0.07340190764435958,0.19948208151875355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993307539282897,0.06280657519702994,0.0,0.0,0.07418582555049649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922288854738366,0.0,0.07132124750514518,0.1551153315822243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705720177653969,0.08718097277010141,0.07044510110902542,0.051741668213593967,0.0,0.0,0.16957880109850934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772826551115868,0.0,0.0,0.07043313572845761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904278050469728,0.06303428168356479,0.0,0.0,0.17142588778340814
mentalhealth,WumboJumbo591,2019/03/23,"Emotional volatility in depression? Hi guys,

I was wondering if anyone else experiences depressive episodes that come and go within a week. For example, earlier this week until yesterday, I was feeling alright and I was being productive and making some small progress, but then I experienced a little bit of frustration due to some external circumstances, and then that spiraled downwards into feeling depressed and hopeless today. After today (or maybe within a few hours) I will probably start to feel a little bit better again. Is this emotional volatility common in people with depression? I was diagnosed with dysthymia when I was younger, and I have some other issues that I'm currently working on in therapy right now (I will ask my therapist about this at my next appointment, but I was curious in the meanwhile.)",9.858723021582735,10.711155546762594,9.522940647482017,57.734626798561145,58.280575539568346,13.856474820143886,43.993705035971225,13.023866798666859,6.753337410071943,667,37,88,24,8,216,92,139,0.146,0.745,0.109,-0.8899,1,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,3,4,8,1,0,5,1,11,1,0,1,0,22,21,14,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,6,4,12,2,18,12,6,34,0,5,0,0,3,14,0,6,18,72,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516046510805888,0.1394449367712029,0.0,0.0,0.12723002132745578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036455898099856,0.2971599739612418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723339358552162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4688721035624807,0.1381330909872513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368952296986312,0.3061760741532345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312657235458605,0.0,0.0,0.20644046231727387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734566206875072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475498906526376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402570546710968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420473388768124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728049601654116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084416069909412,0.0,0.1367252554581787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473808479156858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943508165334714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673292989395378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622399157884652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632841425131464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563596460442314,0.15801624774299575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25800341722593056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183336580769789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475887207198803,0.09907844431602064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gracea2015,2019/03/23,Anyone else do this? No matter what I’m eating I look at it to see if there’s anything wrong with it.(eg. I look at chips and if there’s anything off I refuse to eat it) is that just me? ,-1.7814285714285705,0.13193085714285854,0.3447619047619064,105.05857142857144,97.57142857142857,2.8000000000000003,11.761904761904766,3.1291,-1.9676952380952384,144,2,37,0,6,47,31,42,0.198,0.7759999999999999,0.027000000000000003,-0.7941,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,6,6,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,2,0,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883295116329925,0.2759717159010622,0.44328943896791995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5512062323313561,0.22499987063313506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4523572621769544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21462993031032712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944821359524313,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lonergirl89,2019/03/23,"How do you deal with.... Social anxiety? Having to go to a party with your SO, but you know you are not going to be all happy like everyone else. You’re thinking of how boring you are going to be comparing yourself to others.....",2.407,4.304639422222223,4.793055555555559,80.73625000000003,77.0,7.166666666666668,22.36111111111111,8.07648339933343,1.4117777777777776,174,5,32,3,4,61,32,45,0.08199999999999999,0.7240000000000001,0.194,0.7814,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,5,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,2,1,9,11,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,8,9,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509938467523805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382543277669104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740835324630948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135114180331862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.559396461346385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34926610857895857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180313918509595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16029196610811827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344542925558949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102317617532344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WasteDemand,2019/03/23,"I want to vent throwaway account btw.

Being Chinese, I've always had an emphasis placed on academics by my parents. Now, as a junior in HS getting ready to apply to college next year, currently taking SATs, the stress has piled up on me. I found out today that I got a pretty good score on the SAT, but with my parents pressuring me to get into a good school, rather than being happy for me, my dad decided to go on a rant about how if I didn't get 1550+, I'd go nowhere in life, saying one of the lower end public schools in my state was all I'd end up at. This has been going on for a while now, with school work as well. My dad places such an emphasis on academics that you'd think I was in China. For the past 3 years I've barely been able to hang out with friends outside of school, I'm expected to be studying every chance I get instead of doing something else I like. Don't get me wrong, he still knows about holistic admissions and all that stuff but whenever he sees a B or a ""bad"" test score, he immediately goes off on the fact that all my time is spent up on extracurriculars and that they're useless. I try to explain all this stuff and how it works out in the end but he never listens. I really don't know how much more of this I can handle, if he gets this mad right now I can't even imagine what it'll be like next year when I get college decisions. 

​

If anyone knows any free online resources like therapy or anything like that please let me know.",7.337537593984965,5.195530986842108,7.550939849624061,79.60157894736844,64.78947368421052,10.39624060150376,33.88533834586466,8.634040054169528,2.504806203007519,1156,37,247,13,14,378,173,304,0.062,0.7829999999999999,0.154,0.9802,4,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,2,15,16,1,2,15,0,21,1,0,3,6,40,47,18,0,6,9,4,0,4,1,1,1,2,0,0,15,10,0,0,10,0,3,4,5,6,1,1,11,3,24,11,46,29,6,49,0,1,1,0,15,25,0,5,23,152,39,12,0.09656180541156023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034715750736897,0.10462467582032932,0.11733316279133756,0.06566533892526068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751825951756849,0.0,0.07946213825467716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062507412934619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806649978811181,0.0,0.2565752955970306,0.0,0.0,0.06377816177825925,0.0,0.08135748573575721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058750355678734,0.0746034113290565,0.0,0.35314690520197484,0.0,0.16463489784920587,0.1619829220707789,0.07722929687642377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279183742008144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21227137177927405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874098829579682,0.06820445883403489,0.18870088239559046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098403752122741,0.0,0.07447441717987367,0.0,0.20538915104998484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543277838603942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444091518060895,0.0,0.0921791694613624,0.0,0.0,0.20177306904489956,0.10599586537594767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823807069923599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185996515298563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246325421673135,0.0,0.07678982337035056,0.0,0.3909028090610093,0.07694725701392208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743379953887989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711438253564101,0.0,0.11061122185065707,0.0,0.22108032997339866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260246040453569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042683993290643,0.0,0.0,0.061872905912914736,0.0,0.0,0.0563059652649499,0.0,0.0915293008546079,0.0,0.0,0.06555912739107198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05695465466184855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682065967162618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059628877033548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557517569137556,0.11733316279133756,0.18654791034568635
mentalhealth,a_nefarious_fellony,2019/03/23,"Am i okay? I don't know if I'm hallucinating, or maybe hearing things. But I hear laughter, not innocent laughter but that malicious kind. I feel like it's teasing me, just.. laughing at me. I live alone in a large house. There's no way it could be anyon._?
whAtc ould I have?

On the topic of my hallucinations, I see..things in th edarkness. I'm afraid to even live inm yown home.",-0.3603679653679671,1.8858081038961068,1.7774350649350659,93.74805735930741,97.83116883116884,4.644588744588745,19.403679653679653,6.42735559955562,0.12708744588744605,292,10,65,4,12,97,60,77,0.104,0.6659999999999999,0.23,0.9016,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,1,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,9,11,4,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,10,4,6,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,1,36,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24224104145482225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354236521882645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674331960155585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544831205817952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826256294529115,0.16709212429095754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5272254067449454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346122307462994,0.0,0.0,0.26987937190547795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24356199041741086,0.1285406438831346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426756571614695,0.0,0.4130609343555564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23497543478153066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863812322633008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553871104034057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18565217478850804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ISurviveOnPepsi,2019/03/23,"Gory stuff when I close my eyes I've been seeing things that are horrifying and gory when I close my eyes for as long as I can remember, I never thought it was bad but now I can't sleep unless I have a video playing in the background, does anyone have explanations?",3.7238888888888866,4.982518981481481,4.534259259259262,86.5991666666667,72.14814814814815,7.622222222222224,24.61111111111111,8.07648339933343,1.1733111111111114,211,6,45,3,4,68,41,54,0.094,0.861,0.045,-0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,7,3,3,0,1,8,9,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,3,8,1,5,6,0,8,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,5,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379950192829701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841952119205882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29786058293928724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30121724706678016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26251476977424176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855735089540869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27123127947388703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34061638546078143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896428741725307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261270850968858,0.0,0.0,0.27021621591689154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pierrescokerampage,2019/03/23,"New to Therapy, Feeling Frustrated I started therapy as kind of a last straw to get my shit together. I've been feeling anxious and depressed for a long time, and most importantly I'm apathetic to everything that matters in my life. I was an AP and honors student my junior year of high school, and as such senior year I took all my classes at the local community college. I just barely passed high school because I failed every class I took spring semester. I just stopped going to class and instead I would smoke weed with my friends and sleep in my car. By some miracle I managed to get my college to overlook this and accept the credits I made up during the summer. Then I went to college in the fall semester and pulled the same shit, well aware of the gravity of my situation. Once again, I scrambled and managed to get a leave of absence which saved me, and on condition of the leave of absence I began going to therapy. My therapist is a LMHC with connections to my school and a really nice lady, but she thinks too highly of me. She has a habit of making excuses for my toxic behavior without really analyzing it and as a result I feel we're not making any progress.  Like I said, therapy was the last straw so now I feel like I'm up shit creek without a paddle. I apologize for the wall of text, and I really appreciate anyone who took the time to read this and respond. ",7.332310143388209,6.572188840148701,8.134054699946894,70.96818773234203,63.944237918215606,11.55188528943176,37.42989909718534,10.914260884657429,4.1392270844397245,1094,49,200,26,14,370,146,269,0.101,0.7809999999999999,0.118,0.5505,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,9,16,4,0,19,0,6,5,4,4,1,40,28,20,0,1,6,0,4,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,6,16,0,1,6,1,1,10,3,6,1,0,10,5,33,10,39,17,4,39,0,2,0,0,8,12,3,2,19,133,39,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497875196746249,0.0,0.0,0.10794675383074574,0.0,0.06681229869932373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05824771571928404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229894368271577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0805068240390438,0.0,0.0858761288180964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19325619193231,0.06826248907122225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073823369223676,0.0,0.14976619457367496,0.0,0.10860899999524473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028683401559892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995028806988086,0.0,0.15577554284261808,0.0,0.2023519019742079,0.0,0.0,0.06749132321841839,0.09336392710300556,0.0,0.0,0.08456066326533315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041377325251994,0.12756363039682606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922848808455888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175994216351904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557802739757933,0.0,0.18363949984176992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089199453857814,0.0,0.0,0.29011169083742183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942487869907073,0.0,0.10740464213573143,0.09562117625760803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763231746379922,0.0,0.0,0.07988589234813863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4370889336743052,0.11094343361566117,0.0,0.061225972067203024,0.0,0.0,0.11143447703525923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184859288158012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591287584573559,0.0885778185371656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842177634597713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787751977482444,0.0,0.0,0.12306492887313013
mentalhealth,UndeadTana,2019/03/23,Can I take my meds now ? Ok so I take my Prozac (ssri) daily in the morning everyday . I’m just starting back up on it again so I’m trying to keep it consistent and not miss anything . Missed a dose and it is currently 5:30 pm where I live .. can I take my Prozac now and take my next dose tomorrow alil later around noon ? ,0.05093283582089825,2.255093104477613,2.1180410447761204,94.79407649253734,88.10447761194028,5.738059701492538,18.82276119402985,7.1686216300943375,0.30246417910447754,246,7,56,4,8,82,46,67,0.0,0.908,0.092,0.5983,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,2,1,3,4,0,0,0,7,13,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,1,5,13,0,16,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,11,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057120708159424,0.2225350154678392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19221903126613366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221935267987384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073673795785045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776711972406775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658563468944524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17693698484313405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7518147789218552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971987103190972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jacoviansmythe,2019/03/23,"I think i'm developing the traits of a serial killer 17 year old white male if it matters. Im starting to lose control of my emotions. I have a constant feel of anger or depression and it is driving me insane. I do feel happy occasionally, which makes me feel as though I have bipolar or something but I cant fucking take it anymore. My parents refuse to take the steps in order to get me a therapist and get me help, so im turning here. I have a constant need for revenge or vengeance against people who wrong me. Its not just that I hate them or dislike them anymore, it used to be like that but not anymore. I want people to die. And I want it to be by my hand, and I don't feel any consoling or satisfying feeling, unless I do something that will physically or mentally destroy someone else. I don't want to be this way, I don't want to hurt people, but I feel like I am wronged or shoved under so often, and everyone else can do whatever they want with no consequences. Colleges reject me, my friends reject me, and life rejects me. I feel this and I want people to pay, I don't care who it is, just someone. I want someone to feel the hurt that I have throughout my entire life, and I want to be the one to do it. Someone help me please",3.5698039215686244,4.477174156862748,4.92794117647059,84.964068627451,72.13725490196079,7.549019607843138,30.637254901960784,7.793537801064563,1.9373137254901955,970,42,203,12,18,324,122,255,0.235,0.612,0.153,-0.9544,1,0,2,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,3,2,7,18,4,0,8,0,22,5,1,3,0,49,52,24,1,10,16,1,9,2,1,1,3,0,0,1,17,9,0,2,9,0,1,2,8,13,0,1,0,10,38,5,23,47,0,11,0,7,1,1,11,2,1,9,7,138,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06133928289021375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683633180000005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919651960801902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19494891495082048,0.10116728290075476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768936822067145,0.0,0.0936136489226457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070151788906655,0.10146317336655324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619023213209018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364863770641741,0.06443909741489824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968851188442726,0.08338870456388614,0.09425184590541766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601987437378028,0.0,0.08905410139392113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091869148650912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19312252869515295,0.0,0.19486355975625466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274222493409051,0.08813460035644011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091103997974547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060209386718690035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909006660049587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668823640321672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946500195997112,0.0,0.0611220435225676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001567354618469,0.0,0.0,0.25013406502613444,0.0,0.0,0.0990128198209472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.305705615096029,0.13888116328265304,0.0,0.0,0.06384422180823135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563876864621474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047294762258642,0.0,0.0577966967223232,0.08862131624803103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811200200317577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779040802736225,0.0,0.0,0.4256196929943665,0.07159678307550127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19723969064678346,0.0,0.05808602241077908
mentalhealth,stickinahurricane,2019/03/23,"Ideas for healthy ways to occupy time? I recently insisted that my best friend go on a mental health hiatus from college. She needs it for sure, but since she’s home with her family now, in the middle of nowhere, I can’t help keep her busy. 

Her parents work and her siblings have school, and it’s not the town where she went to school so she doesn’t know anybody else. 

What are some ideas of hobbies or things to do that would keep her busy/happy and maybe help with her mental health? Thanks in advance! ",4.505757142857141,5.588691890000002,4.023428571428571,91.66100000000002,70.1,7.314285714285713,24.285714285714285,7.447530270364453,0.8050714285714284,399,10,85,4,7,119,71,100,0.056,0.821,0.123,0.7121,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,0,1,17,13,6,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,6,5,0,2,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,13,4,13,11,2,13,0,0,0,0,14,6,0,2,3,52,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962799025726505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502691774221945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237691626362945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488029442043105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09186199464169746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206552210350778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34362500518359484,0.0,0.0,0.21668365969431594,0.0,0.16213502409246916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649368484376996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873406678060639,0.0,0.0,0.08883143187615873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238602590433285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3257840245617064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198517386297914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17947868700952474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959697251696792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271704136289243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370774229657126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234089760757644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488135724225565,0.0,0.0,0.10738439683546948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425179619333143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829987480364485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149839057392861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767361319857685,0.0,0.0,0.11482224047951167,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SOSsri,2019/03/23,"I'm scared I might be bipolar I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not asking for a diagnosis, and I know full well that nobody can diagnose mental illness over the internet. 

I'm wondering what the road to being diagnosed bipolar was like for anyone who is comfortable sharing. Or if anyone has experience struggling with similar symptoms/behaviors. I'm extremely concerned that I might be showing bipolar tendencies and behavior. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Been on zoloft for a little over 3 years (I'm in my early 20s). About a month ago I had a complete melt down thinking that I might be bipolar (after reading the story of somebody struggling with bipolar disorder, a lot of it sounded scary similar and it started making me wonder if maybe I'm bipolar). I spent several days feeling like I was losing my mind, in a constant feeling of panic, overthinking everything that has ever happened in my life and things I've done in the past few years that I felt could be signs of bipolar disorder - I've always struggled with depression, but I've noticed that after getting on zoloft for depression/anxiety, a lot of my anxious/depressed moods were replaced with just being impulsive, slowly racking up credit card debt (a few thousand dollars at this point that I'm slowly trying to pay off), impulse buying animals (mainly reptiles and fish, on top of my young energetic dog who takes up a lot of my time but of course I love her) and overloading myself with work to care for these animals. I've had horrible outbursts with my SO, not being physically violent to him but I've lost it and destroyed his cell phone by smashing it to pieces, I put a knife through his flat screen TV, flipped a table upside down in blind rage. It was nasty, and I feel humiliated just thinking about it. I up and quit my job last year one day when I got really pissed off, with nothing lined up and no plan. Luckily I didn't end up completely shooting myself in the foot because I found another job within a month, which though I like better, doesn't pay as well as my old job, so now I'm barely getting by. And on top of everything else, horrible binge eating, I've always had weight problems but it has spiraled out of control. But the depression wasn't as bad because anything upsetting I would just block out and do something that made me happy like buy shit I don't need. After doing research on bipolar disorder (as much research as one can do on the internet aside from talking to a medical professional), I've become concerned that some of these things are manic type behaviors. 

So that's why I started thinking I could be bipolar, in some fashion. Now I'm desperate to be diagnosed with bipolar, as far as I'm concerned it's just a label for behaviors, it doesn't change who I am, it just changes how I go about trying to heal myself. But I *am* concerned that I could be bipolar. I freaked out a month ago and made an appointment with a psychologist (side note I'm broke as shit so Im currently going to a sliding scale clinic since I have no insurance and have very limited options). I told my psychologist my concerns about being bipolar and our first session I just rambled on and on about my past and shit (lots of emotional trauma to say the least) but I ended up just rambling and not really getting to the point. Long story short he reduced my zoloft back to where it was and told me to come back in two weeks. I did that, started feeling horribly depressed and started getting suicidal thoughts again (not in danger of harming myself just don't want to wake up type of thing). Went back for my next appointment and was so exhausted and depressed that during the appt I just tried not to cry, couldn't look the doctor in the face, and barely said anything. I just shut down and couldn't talk. The session was short and he prescribed effexor, smallest dose it comes in, told me to start taking it and come back in a month. 

So I realize it has only been two sessions and we've barely scratched the surface of the cesspool that is my mental state. He has not given any indication that he thinks I'm bipolar. But I'm concerned that if I am bipolar that by not addressing it and not treating it as such, it could cause things to get worse. I'm completely terrified right now And to complicate things I don't even know how to feel about my own thought process because I'm such an anxious mess that I over think everything and could easily be making all of this up, or overexaggerating. I'm torn between being concerned that something is wrong and feeling like I'm just trying to make excuses for being lazy/unmotivated/impulsive. I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm just curious for some outside perspective for people who might have similar experiences. 

I know I sound insane (I guess I kind of am) so sorry in advance. 


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mentalhealth,Mischa92,2019/03/23,"questions about abilify? tho im not sure if this is the right sub, i thought asking here might help me sift through the tons of information Google has for me lol.

my boyfriend has some fairly complex issues imo that I'm not entirely sure have been properly addressed by past doctors - i suppose partially because we're limited atm to doctors who accept government-supplied health insurance, and partially because he relatively quickly becomes disgruntled and gives up on seeing them when they don't appear to be putting in enough effort to him.

he's been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and generalized anxiety disorder - but his issues include rapid, wild, dramatic mood swings sometimes lasting 5-10 minutes  (5 minutes of intense boiling rage, 10 minutes of deep guilt, sadness and self hatred, 10 minutes of high anxiety, 5 minutes of numbness, 5 minutes of rage -repeat) sometimes multiple times a day. increased need for sleep, sometimes 13 hours a day. depressing dreams that feel ""real"" to him and majorly affect his mood upon waking. low motivation, finding little satisfaction in anything. some days are worse than others, but always a serious fear of leaving the house - believing something terrible will happen if he does. random intense feelings that something terrible will happen, always an unexplainable gut feeling. need for constant stimulation to calm him down. anxiety if plans change or a given task takes longer than expected. cynical views on people in general - almost paranoid feeling that everyone is out to get him.

he's been on damn near every SSRI, SNRI, anxiolytic and benzo that exists since early teens. currently unmedicated for about 2 months while he looks for a new doctor - ever procrastinating out of fear that this attempt will fail as well.

to soothe that awful helpless feeling I get from seeing him struggle, I do a shit ton of reading and am very interested in the unique way abilify works. a drug that claims to be able to aid his positive motivation while lessening fear, paranoia, thought loops and anxiety would be a God send.

I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, but do you guys think asking a doctor, when he begins seeing one again (he's planning an appointment with one now) would be a good idea for his issues?",9.353124134748498,9.797388299492386,8.825002307337332,63.68976003691741,59.406091370558364,11.630641439778495,42.52838024919244,11.20814326018867,5.282369543147209,1826,97,264,44,22,582,246,394,0.221,0.664,0.114,-0.9949,1,0,3,0,0,0,51.0,0,1,2,10,11,28,5,5,17,2,23,14,4,4,3,58,52,21,0,8,9,0,5,0,0,6,9,0,1,2,12,12,1,1,17,2,1,4,3,19,1,2,6,10,21,7,49,36,8,46,0,5,5,0,29,18,2,11,23,157,33,11,0.08133969974536569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144995979969878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536229235126931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488985906746245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693564229885852,0.0,0.15208327841913144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916785199395424,0.0898333078331048,0.0,0.09164198756286693,0.0,0.0,0.08880188532440512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604661707130068,0.0,0.0,0.08789931896701153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15737213181087967,0.0,0.07005776420245388,0.08255808305431749,0.0,0.0,0.09322234284929436,0.3330185173902954,0.07118091938573327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943282280590668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404565330926249,0.0,0.0,0.07357641520537724,0.06853220518795433,0.07772356884295112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745893279884584,0.20563898087888505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743430119743571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748990783395572,0.07802845174950425,0.0,0.06822388101049713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053909095728885,0.14385685571268647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864602972134859,0.0,0.0,0.0545202861720344,0.08593985864038532,0.0,0.0,0.08010321961439598,0.09385509262901667,0.0,0.09182262031023676,0.08786083368754985,0.25469254145016545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044702171763132695,0.06630271155758084,0.0,0.08612699750485615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152374785070315,0.0,0.0,0.0683048618592486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862885674236686,0.0,0.0,0.06492457231074965,0.0,0.0,0.12062471341919108,0.0,0.07855838887382502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023577127086992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764794718582149,0.05639070618011373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176886441991135,0.09111907917960027,0.0,0.08136171142329694,0.0925823858367428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946365914997353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19445162883188816,0.0,0.08485504636377264,0.0,0.08349403290572423,0.06728504017063099,0.0,0.08139844230374604,0.0,0.0,0.1252385495243317,0.24134112869671104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503391491608651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533234087884022,0.0,0.06115733135798166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0521191952437049,0.0,0.12914927173038304,0.04742983303806077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711377087241041,0.0,0.06456366760649089,0.0,0.0,0.07313415857631847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921627016577464,0.0,0.08289210308548567,0.11556277789822368,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,neeerules97,2019/03/23,"Nothing I feel so bad today.
but I have been feeling like this for awhile, I feel like I'm not supposed to be alive. I have nothing I'm passionate about and I just can't get myself to do anything. I don't feel like I get joy from interaction, I just try to do my best because I want my conversation partner to feel heard. 
 I guess there's no point in me saying this.
But I'm crying as I type this, I just can't live like this anymore. I'm so hallow and empty. ",-0.06984545454545099,1.9356632700000027,2.351454545454548,94.3957272727273,86.3,4.836363636363637,20.090909090909093,6.11248444174946,-0.06189999999999962,357,11,83,3,11,122,56,100,0.142,0.586,0.272,0.9397,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,0,15,23,7,0,1,6,0,5,4,1,0,0,2,0,1,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,7,16,7,9,20,1,3,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,5,51,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181542005807572,0.0,0.0,0.1506391939084166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528438126938545,0.111589018742061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19210559995759385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010780242950356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46279215753894104,0.3923249561781434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19127803252979245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20165642471925424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577269557329781,0.0,0.161641483360961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512936461625842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730467480831197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557319179865427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351534205571828,0.0,0.0,0.12428276309250952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797095895022824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bofawhat,2019/03/23,"depression after preventing panic attack if i can detect a panic attack before it starts i can usually prevent it through breathing techniques and other methods, but it seems whenever i do that i still have a lingering sense of dread in the back of my mind. i mean it’s better than a full blown panic attack, but i was wondering if anyone else has this happen to them and if there’s any way to prevent it.",7.821582278481014,6.8903663164556965,8.393512658227849,70.06216772151902,63.050632911392405,10.937974683544304,34.939873417721515,10.125756701596842,3.5903645569620264,325,12,55,6,4,109,55,79,0.282,0.648,0.07,-0.9542,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,1,3,9,3,4,4,0,6,1,1,0,0,14,11,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,0,8,1,8,10,1,8,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,5,5,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097434417229828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410577775507084,0.16720675909072755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5569542838841993,0.0,0.12548252595863574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886210508746882,0.0,0.0,0.14432770585008228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055473558241924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363237498508255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430779048260478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776102700304142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647747088515603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5744025724713119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856144211861327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155062516306266,0.0,0.1303232141675955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972999788866673,0.0,0.0,0.12953209871838414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697187320905275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SGill_913,2019/03/23,"Crippling disappointment I have to give my medical board exams, and if I fail I’m more worried my parents might go the major episode of depression then failing. 
I know at the end of the day it’s my life and I have to live with whatever the outcome may be but I think one of the biggest mental blocks I face is disappointing my parents (mostly my mom) she never had the chance of becoming a doctor (she didn’t have the financial support), so now it’s up to my to see her dreams come true. 
personally I have no idea what I wanted to be..I got told what classes to take and the only time I was alone was after school binge eating my way into depression. I isolated myself from everyone because truth be told I don’t believe I’m smart enough and or have the work ethic to get through it. I’m surprised I got this far..but it’s not enough until I actually make it as a doctor. 
I just feel hopeless. 
Everyone I know that’s striving for the same goal is driven and passionate...I just want to be happy and I haven’t been for about a year now. I have been on antidepressants for 6months and it just made me feel foggy but also numb. And I loved it because that was my escape goat to why I slept in for hours and why I binge ate and why I refused to go out. 
I don’t want to be this person anymore 
I started working out and I started taking care because I want to make good life for myself but this exam is what killing me ",2.3054948805460747,3.990023003412972,4.002643003412974,87.24022389078499,76.64505119453925,6.73578156996587,25.3718771331058,7.554174236665415,1.245471372013652,1112,40,233,15,25,373,153,293,0.156,0.7120000000000001,0.132,-0.7688,2,1,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,6,8,18,1,0,13,0,25,11,2,3,3,47,60,21,1,5,9,3,2,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,15,16,2,2,6,1,0,4,7,9,0,1,15,3,40,9,35,39,6,26,0,7,1,1,13,8,0,5,13,161,55,11,0.0,0.0,0.1027016841855901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089996875029227,0.0,0.08416254132239964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104372469114762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19246490133882696,0.11623228281744002,0.0,0.11857247243025547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730193670708008,0.0,0.0,0.0906572587746795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787282866249922,0.0,0.18129074969532288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154407058496912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768954593153836,0.0,0.0,0.09321378582358752,0.2174876642228857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112780110731976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642773269892457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054984961892812566,0.10095837824879854,0.11962369230829167,0.08827257532637837,0.1683443868965038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203280068791696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364285031233046,0.0,0.0,0.11880618704106985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164354436942553,0.0,0.11567726038941395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867204895566724,0.0,0.0,0.09293122357389172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498563684610448,0.0995831781202722,0.14050062585040538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602093827461356,0.10605987836736128,0.11164586292795484,0.0,0.12325896678403765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116965068114991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131517057547687,0.08004180830730845,0.0,0.0,0.23371910564826864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837877153495164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651122111210386,0.08386479826498876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489826355963216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942815764615015,0.0,0.0,0.15825881081807955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743526636064992,0.0,0.0,0.06136785898951691,0.0,0.0,0.20112780110731976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482994616743164,0.0835367488294066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848954753315233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323586378650153,0.10687906049045028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777284196570116
mentalhealth,EspeonJewel,2019/03/23,"I feel harshly judged, not supported by my therapist. Should I switch therapists?   

I’ve had two appointments with my therapist, and I’m stressed out about seeing her again for the third one. 

My main issue is that it seems like she doesn’t think I have the right to my feelings. When I said that customers are constantly impatient with me at my volunteer job, she said in an accusatory tone, “It sounds like you’re mad.” I’m developmentally disabled, so yeah, it’s painful that most people I’ve volunteered or worked with/for have been very impatient with me despite how hard I’m trying. 

She brought up making friends. I said that I’m working on it. I said I had recently gone to a Meetup.com event at a coffee shop and felt self-conscious when someone kept talking about one of their coworkers who they considered incompetent. I know it wasn’t about \*me,\* but it was still very awkward for me to hear constant complaints about someone with similar weaknesses to mine. I tried to change the subject, but this person really needed to vent, I guess. 

After that, I quietly waited for her and the one other person who was with us to finish their coffees, so that my leaving wouldn’t look too abrupt, and then I excused myself. The therapist said, “She has problems and experiences that lead to her feeling that way about incompetent people. You should be more sympathetic.” I said, “I’m not saying she has no right to feel that way, just that I wasn’t the right audience for it. It hits too close to home for me,” but the therapist was still frustrated with me. 

I’m torn abut whether to keep trying with her, or to try to find a therapist who will be more sympathetic. I know that sympathy isn’t the only important thing in therapy. I’m still observing how I do at things like my volunteer job, what feedback I’m getting, etc to improve as much as I can. I’m not intending to make therapy sessions nothing but complaint sessions without doing anything about my problems. But I feel like this therapist is judging me more in a scornful way than a guiding way. Not that I’m saying she’s necessarily a bad therapist, maybe she just doesn’t like clients who are on the sensitive side.

What do you think? By the way, just looking at the volume I’ve put out about how stressed out I am working with her - like the four larger paragraphs above in this question, the 4 ½ handwritten journal pages all about this – even if I just set aside the more complicated analysis and ask myself, “Is it really worth it to keep trying with a person who I can write \*this\* much about how stressed I feel about them, when the relationship has barely even started yet?” It kind of seems like…no? 

TL;DR: current therapist has no sympathy that it’s hard for me to constantly face impatient people because my developmental disability makes it harder for me to learn things. I try to make it clear that I’m not only complaining, but still trying to improve my skills, and I say things to neutralize my complaints about people like “I was stressed out when person said this,” instead of “Person is an asshole!” but even with all that extra effort, she still seems to have no interest in emotionally supporting me; should I switch therapists?",5.787324300768559,7.1771540698835326,5.9531102923698604,77.86857043815864,67.369384359401,9.584042468901037,32.6123524284922,9.842372674337009,3.2396655257111178,2560,110,463,58,42,813,251,601,0.117,0.769,0.114,-0.4134,3,0,0,0,0,0,71.0,1,2,4,6,38,25,2,5,24,1,38,3,1,10,3,87,92,31,0,8,21,0,9,7,1,5,2,13,1,5,47,22,0,4,17,1,2,4,15,13,0,6,20,25,70,12,76,64,13,53,0,0,3,0,49,21,0,9,29,327,117,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0394119591066758,0.0,0.04477360449536028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039988756838813914,0.029195202983427964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066457326487365,0.0,0.0,0.15526635342490416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053873316639619064,0.0,0.0,0.0534134916273021,0.09489886727616803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0468486638313636,0.0,0.0,0.145297210755687,0.03421485632489045,0.045984908300183945,0.0,0.04377344636088503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03700210768423695,0.0,0.02502217982078693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275967401595103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580566128788841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053979029888922316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04804070689213858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049987976926608856,0.09505306821742432,0.0851392157711077,0.0,0.049873317151830805,0.052641615288966236,0.0,0.0,0.050711901567874335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18718528405396656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043632151505485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278761248144649,0.0,0.04811507888264855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041391146679057,0.03551214352515983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04595474277900142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736085798704172,0.07284975570414026,0.0509616591178585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328122435006566,0.2090921364686958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165450036092887,0.0,0.048145816339941534,0.05365125812090103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061363121368216075,0.0,0.04728868065660883,0.05141929012646055,0.0,0.12270139494271395,0.31890128877117835,0.11425960004177126,0.0,0.0,0.03816461793519718,0.13080030011058408,0.049962971929846084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115937464857034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033898998651058665,0.0,0.19123754770419535,0.0,0.21944564030459854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869709583914017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03849467775283293,0.0,0.0,0.10953991914404533,0.5560760665186659,0.12727225007768075,0.0613759581911946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276140050079682,0.0,0.046784621596218656,0.0,0.0576095295125555,0.0,0.0,0.07903368376770939,0.0,0.19007665722566924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04616726107578978,0.0,0.10460029087955024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tawesomeblossom,2019/03/23,"Terrified of making the wrong choice again. Hi everyone. 

I've been dealing with a lot of really bad stress and anxiety at my job. It's gotten to the point where I have anxiety attacks almost daily. There are a number of factors that contribute to this, but overall the job is a horrible fit for me.

This place brings out the worst of my mental anxieties, it makes me depressed, and as a result, exhausts me.

I got a job offer today for a new job that I think will be better mentally, but absolutely not financially. I would be making $4.50 less an hour. 

I'm so terrified of making the wrong choice, because it feels like every decision I've made (at least in regards to employment and finances) has been the wrong choice. I'm struggling with panic attacks just thinking about it, and want to cry. Especially because finances are a huge factor into my mental health issues...or at least worrying about them

Has anyone experienced something similar? If so do you have any advice?",5.129648711943794,6.933087573770492,6.1439227166276345,74.295368852459,69.43715846994536,9.162997658079624,30.557767369242786,9.606745405546679,3.1588488680718196,778,32,130,18,14,258,116,183,0.305,0.623,0.071,-0.9949,5,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,1,1,8,14,2,3,14,0,14,2,0,6,0,27,28,10,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,4,0,2,1,1,12,0,0,5,2,12,2,22,19,5,16,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,3,5,89,20,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842506170571252,0.0,0.0,0.11110655262942463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545398412328269,0.0,0.2546434439518477,0.0,0.0,0.07758311713686275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524572684316159,0.0,0.0,0.09264374726243793,0.13527567347865066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813169437481874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188011627354965,0.0,0.11439091445026466,0.09556636595772207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348533849803248,0.10602335241702596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056102761272978766,0.07926709286714087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887417659870524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794119464674548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926945338905084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404274163335319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420756832052625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943309474935093,0.0,0.10498938814549433,0.2962563561543975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33545309398921525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071621372110822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301831304850429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592555675032963,0.0,0.10488942215875452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108134831730283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541946201187336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709989035274358,0.11599545495349806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421924362783878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517345263928878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544480968100187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268135219489801,0.0,0.07882006262573371,0.3639393823656355,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BackgroundTurmoil,2019/03/23,"Looking for help. I'm lost and confused and I don't know where to start. If this isn't the right subreddit to post this to, or if there's a more appropriate one, please point me in the right direction. 

​

To start, this is a second account I just made so that I can convince myself to fully open up and not have to worry about it. 

​

I've dealt with depression and anxiety in the past, and I'm on medication for anxiety now (Escitalopram). But what's hit me over the past few weeks is entirely new to me. It started when I took some THC oil, and apparently it was too much for me or something else went wrong. But I had a full blown panic attack, anchored to my position and feeling like I could die at any moment, and I wouldn't see it coming. My memories, my life, my entire consciousness felt like it was going to disappear. And since then those feelings have waned, but never fully left me. To be honest I'm an atheist, and I don't believe in any sort of afterlife, but this experience has made me yearn for the times when I did believe. In anything. At least there would be something. Anyway, I just want to be happy and enjoy my life, but I can't stop thinking about how empty I feel and how pointless everything else feels. In the grand scheme of things, again in my mind, nothing lasts for long. And I used to be fine with that. Never used to think about it too much. Maybe this will pass with time. But it hasn't gotten much better. At work, at home, playing video games, reading, some distractions work but never for long. I feel like I lost a purpose in life that I didn't even know I had. I don't know how to cope and I don't know what to look for to make it better. 

​

Anyway, I have a doctors appointment coming up this Monday, and I would like to talk to my doctor about it but I don't know what questions to ask. Or what they can even do. If anyone has ever gotten out of something like this, I could use some advice. Just knowing I'm not alone might make me feel better. I don't know what else to add, so I'm going to leave it here do I don't write a novel. 

​

TLDR: Panic attack lead to constant feelings of my mortality and pointlessness in life, and I'm looking for help. ",3.625591550246341,4.8106893184855215,4.5649159748937045,86.56827832894648,72.29621380846325,7.313248295876358,25.187352365526085,7.686295010490155,1.1779288789903497,1740,52,361,21,33,565,198,449,0.104,0.78,0.116,0.8068,1,1,3,0,1,0,72.0,0,0,1,8,27,26,2,4,13,0,38,7,0,11,4,94,88,39,2,10,19,0,8,5,0,5,7,0,1,0,27,25,0,1,19,5,1,9,17,11,0,2,15,13,42,15,58,61,10,59,0,4,4,0,8,24,0,13,30,250,69,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142502590714885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510290165157243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724305286754147,0.30552195569328144,0.08549246561002509,0.0,0.09617382977551804,0.0,0.0,0.043952430417091286,0.0,0.05172754936793373,0.0,0.05876462092750389,0.1430222312987904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416409934386962,0.0,0.1667808652665422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829481693423856,0.0,0.06792818004155285,0.0,0.10037549291477613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414031048225697,0.0,0.06523765264318987,0.0,0.0,0.1286775715233285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753172838565818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303547033701386,0.056859507418466126,0.0,0.0,0.056493559566822026,0.06148810224326327,0.0,0.0,0.22248357135420674,0.08981287455780113,0.060354437287405915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144836516467859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691450748186872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426604116013324,0.0,0.06305263919277249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418193957839279,0.05123842346966051,0.0,0.06655853835618347,0.06829641916533849,0.0,0.17759650515032965,0.1535485078850749,0.0,0.0,0.11125636269210604,0.15835702740187627,0.0,0.13723591072065616,0.0,0.0,0.11895729244437075,0.08391765734629332,0.0,0.06315025120947744,0.0,0.0,0.06332376611001313,0.0,0.0666833988290901,0.06346960747982662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862565440082755,0.0,0.14544206244386795,0.060709553224163486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060314845536030275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04259484263306618,0.0,0.0,0.14750283812466936,0.0,0.0,0.12001193634446645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900023683554056,0.059422013436105064,0.0,0.060201486000232125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041639558157814,0.0,0.062875947697897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736237778714358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050090434555861686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051997562398965316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451756425454983,0.0,0.0,0.13347563780069516,0.0,0.0,0.05255288611667463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05052363264847395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041760684753337315,0.08055493762048198,0.0,0.0,0.07330710353192449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983859208365023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628698182434057,0.0,0.0,0.03707582976576872,0.0,0.05042164781057135,0.0,0.0,0.05827086451961753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152410982204752,0.06383630194844064,0.0,0.08930637091873947,0.0687263800415346,0.30552195569328144,0.0
mentalhealth,tikicheese,2019/03/23,"Professional help in the UK? Hey guys, this is just a query. Are there any differences between getting private professional help from an independent psychotherapist vs a private mental health outpatient clinic vs the Community Mental Health Team? Other than the differences in cost I'm not entirely sure. ",7.692857142857143,11.419319510204089,7.497306122448977,58.76555102040818,68.18367346938776,11.266938775510207,36.330612244897964,10.793553405168565,5.623151836734697,252,13,32,9,5,80,38,49,0.043,0.8440000000000001,0.113,0.5546,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,0,2,3,0,1,1,6,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,18,2,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326349719648764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5016676595522176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254325552459138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23771820407415445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5103903292925709,0.0,0.0,0.3218428308632913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4838909074311065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22627375692032103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheWomanInGlasses,2019/03/23,"Stepbrother just told me that there was an ""EVEN BIGGER"" study done on trans people I am so furious and hurt. I suffer from GAD and MDD. I'm really hurt. I tried to explain that gender is separate from sex but he argued that a study was done that PROVED you couldn't identify as a sex different than your own because of ""chromosomes"" 

I told him exactly what anyone else would tell him. ""There's been multiple scientific studies that disprove that statement"" 

""YEAH BUT THEY DID AN EVEN BIGGER STUDY TO DISPROVE THAT"" 

I told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore. 

I used to fight about this but it's so fucking hard. 

I'm so tired of trying to prove that I fucking exist.",2.302694805194804,4.80327678030303,3.3735064935064933,87.66954545454549,80.43939393939394,6.8017316017316025,23.064935064935064,7.957251820313856,1.3596389610389616,533,18,104,10,14,171,82,132,0.182,0.789,0.029,-0.956,1,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,2,1,0,10,8,5,0,4,1,11,5,0,1,3,15,21,9,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,10,1,15,0,14,9,1,3,0,3,0,4,15,3,2,0,0,70,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834577202851844,0.11869271342743293,0.17392829995415002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347764654505953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735197287844992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34742510311261204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180382529909194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22423572920761206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138611331731729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206210238293552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634404444494739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768284671302252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874579956587613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643812172275938,0.14836844020398648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510194126895167,0.0,0.4866084213727943,0.0,0.23049737287603894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660896245702212,0.0,0.0,0.10012258243087847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058508926710072,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ProblematicCut,2019/03/23,"Having family that is supportive while being non supportive Okay the title is a bit weird but I have no idea what else I'm suppose to call it. So my family is kinda supportive of my mental situation. But on the other hand they constantly make fun of me and the fact that I don't do a lot especially my stepdad and my brother. They constantly make fun of me for not being able to function because of my mental health. They make joke when I get out of bed which most days seems impossible for me cuz I just don't wanna start the day. They say ""finally you out are you gonna lay on the couch all day or actually do something"". Or they ask me in a sarcastic manner if I'm happy with the way my life is. I get small things like these thrown at me all day and they really discourage me from trying to overcome my mental issues. 

They think all it takes for me to get better is getting a job and not laying in bed all day. I know that they mean no harm by telling me these thing. But they tell me about all kinda things I could do while giving me no support to actually do these things. But I told them multiple times how hard it is for me and that things just aren't as easy as they think they are. They constantly ask me if I'm happy with the way me life is and ofcourse I'm not but what am I supposed to do. The most minor thing seem impossible to do so why should I even try.

The couple times I have opened up to them about my suicidal thoughts and plans. The fact that I see no future for myself and that I don't know how I ever will be able to live like a functioning adult. At first they seem to understand and for a sort while they will be more understanding. But after a week or so everything is back to normal. 

They make me feel so bad about myself all the time they make me feel like I'm just a whiny bitch. And if I'd put in a bit more effort my mental health issues would be cured. They make me feel worthless and sometimes I think they would be better off if I'd just kill myself. I know they would be sad for a while but they wouldn't have a worthless daughter who has been a burden for them most of her life. 

I hate it that they think I'm okay with the life I'm living right now I would give almost everything to be able to function normally like any other person. That I'd be able to have a job and study. But even going outside gives me major anxiety and most day eating or getting upseem like to much of an effort. 

But I guess that with some exercise and having a job everything will just disappear.

I feel so bad for complaining about them cuz they are also so supportive. My mom brings me to therapy most of the time. Let me live at her house without any cost and even springs by when I can't pay my insurance. And I still cab find a way to make myself look like a victim. Just because they sometimes make some jokes I am a victim. 

I just don't know what to do. I just wanted to rant somewhere and thought this was a good place.

Sorry if I made any grammatical mistakes or typos I'm not a native speaker.

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mentalhealth,heathbar1_,2019/03/23,I feel like I have adhd I am a 20 year old male in college. I feel as if as I have gotten older i have developed more and more attention problems. Every self test I take has me getting 90% or more of symptoms for ADHD. I don’t want to get diagnosed just to get adderall or medicines of that nature like some people do but I feel as if I’m losing my ability to hold conversations or do work? How do I consult a medical professional and should I be wary of adhd medication ,1.797097505668937,3.681434265306127,4.550544217687077,81.83175736961455,78.79591836734693,7.620861678004537,26.19501133786848,8.515128840125781,2.0078671201814062,370,15,75,8,9,132,63,98,0.06,0.856,0.084,0.0544,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,0,11,4,0,1,0,19,21,12,0,5,7,0,3,2,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,13,2,11,18,4,4,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,6,5,52,14,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6295655891174072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723215335108244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712200005138287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264874168917716,0.12474611985405512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736898685144719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17061768181768205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953512881606608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518156681060694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832307273510076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210571504998999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670844848597297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216317571064145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149348642281227,0.13128993708162326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299338321862887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712295012948274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244735268165178
mentalhealth,Mikea54,2019/03/23,"I'm surprised I've made it this far... M20      I hate to be one of those people who talk about there issues on the internet. Complaining about there life, but I feel I've survived a very hard and traumatic childhood. Something I'm still suffering from today. I feel like I'm trying to cooperate with a mental illness that was developed but at the same time I'm afraid to get help for it, and unfortunately it haunts me daily. I guess the second pharapah will be talking about what I've witnessed in life. The last pharapah will be talking about my current situation and what goes on today. I suppose everything is coming out the closet right now because for a very long time I've kept it all in. Lots of ranting so you can skip the next pharapah if you want. I just feel I have no one else to talk to.
    My parents have been divorced since I was a very young child; age 5 or so. My father is military personal and lives in Los Angeles. While my mother lives an hour away in a different neighborhood. So I grew up living with one or the other; switching back and forth. I think it's important to mention that my mom, and her side of the family left El Salvador during the civil war. I dont want to get to into it but she had a very dramatic childhood as well, and eventually became an alcoholic. Growing up my sister and I got used to her always being drunk, passing out at parties, getting into fights, etc and we would witness it on a daily bases. Sometimes I would like to spend the night at my friend's house to get away from all the drama. I was probably 8 years old and he was 10 but one night he tricked me into sexual activities and told me it was a game. (When I got older I realized what had happened and I never spoke about it because I was ashamed and I still havent told anyone). I lived with my mom until Jr High. My step father who is still my step father right now. Was beating me in Jr High. We had multiple occasions of this happening. One night my mom and I where arguing so he got in my face and tackled me to the ground. Proceeded to punch me several times on the face. Somehow I was able to slip out from underneath him and choke him from behind. My mom was screaming and shouting for me to stop. I ran outside and called my older sister who called the police. When the police got here my mom told them that I attacked him, and because it was 2 witnesses against 1; they arrested me. Not to mention he had marks all over his neck. I got arrested because my mom lied and turned her back to me. I was being bullied at school. I felt alone in life. I felt like I had no friends at school. I felt like I had no one in my family that I could count on. I turned to the streets and at first I was just hanging out with troubled kids because I felt protected, but as time went on I got more, and more deeper into it. I started doing drugs. Marijuana, cocaine, xanax, etc. I was drinking. Getting into fights. I went to 4 different schools and continuation school for jr high because I was always getting into fights. Eventually, I got arrested again, and my mom shipped me off to live with my dad in East Los Angeles / Boyle Heights / Montebello. Now I was getting involved with real gangs. Being chased home by members of 18 street. I made so many enemies with different gangs that I was always watching over my back. I was paranoid 24/7. I got into so many fights while in class. I remember they would try to check me and try to take my shoes while we where in class because I wasn't affiliated. Eventually, I had to toughen up even more. I was always ditching class, sleeping in class, getting into trouble with the older homies. I was failing all my classes. I was behind so many credits. They wanted me to repeat my senior year so I said ""ni modo"" and dropped out. My dad was around but he would leave to work before I walked to school and would come back home around 10pm. So I barely saw him. Unfortunately, Ive had a few close friends die. One of them got pushed infront of a train and was in critical care until he died. I could go on and on and on talking about what I've witnessed.
My mom told me if I got my GED I could move back in with her. So when I turned 18 I went to community college and passed the GED test within a month. I broke down crying when I got my certificate because of all the years I was told I would never amount to shit in life and that I was a straight F student. When I moved back in with my mom I was no longer in Los Angeles so I had brought over many bad habits. For example I would try to fight everyone who starred at me. After living in such an eviroment for so many years I had to adjust back to the normal way of living. I realized that the real world outside of Los Angeles operated differently. If I where to ever accomplish anything in life I had change the way I was. Moving back in with my mom I worked from the the time I was 18 until I was 19. I worked at a wearhouse. And for awhile I worked at a car shop. I did paint stripping. Taking old paint off low riders and sending them to different shops to get new paint. By the time I was 20 I became a black belt in taekwondo, and a 4th degree in the knights of Columbus. Highest ranking in a catholic charity organization and even owned a rosery that was blessed by the pope. I think I should mention for the last couple of years my step dad has gotten diabetes. Eventually went blind and got his leg amputated. So despite our old history I find myself taking care of him every night. Sometimes it's really hard for me to take care of him because of the way he treated me when I was younger. For the past year or so I havent been working. I quit the car shop because they stole a 2018 Cadillac and I wanted nothing to do with that. I've been going to community college and got 15 college credits. So now, I am eligible to join the military which I'm proud to announce I will be doing that in a few months. I havent decided if I want to go active or reserves but I am deftinely doing it. I have my reasons on why I should choose either one.
    So I feel like I've survived so much. Been through so many traumatizing experiences. As an adult I feel really proud of myself because I am doing what many people said I couldn't. I have several career options to choose from. However, I feel with so much trauma I developed some sort of disorder. I cry a lot. I cry when I'm alone. I cry when im driving. I cry when im thinking about my past. I have lots and lots of anxiety. I cant even sleep at night. The dark terrifies me. Sometimes I'll go 2 or 3 days without any sleep. Sometimes I'm afraid to fall asleep. I'll wake up in a panic. I'll wake up literally jumping out of my bed because I imagined a spider or I imagined something crawling. (I'm allergic to spiders). Drugs like marijuana, benadryl, melatonin, and etc dont put me asleep or have any affect me. I road rage sometimes. If someone cuts me off I'll be thinking about it for a long time. Sometimes I can be impulsive. I do things without thinking. I'm very lonely. I dont have any friends other than the people I socialize with at jiu jitsu. I dont have a girlfriend. I get very depressed because I dont have any friends or anybody to talk to. And I stare off into space. When I was younger the teachers would complain that I was day dreaming while in class and starring off into space (before I started getting into trouble). I still do it to this day but for the most part I am able to catch myself in the act and stop it immediately.
    I really want to get help or get tested, but I'm terrified that I will be disqualified from the military. I feel the military will give me the discipline I've been slacking in life and I dont want to miss out on this opportunity.

Please dont judge me or leave any harsh comments.",2.5564782978408758,4.447134363520412,4.072937000887311,86.09918515232181,76.53826530612244,6.968396923986987,26.604665779355226,7.868978346448403,1.5860105774918662,6094,239,1241,95,138,2024,529,1568,0.156,0.76,0.084,-0.9991,8,4,7,0,6,0,158.0,4,2,7,16,72,55,13,4,69,0,118,30,13,5,8,193,221,108,3,27,30,20,13,6,6,15,15,5,4,4,46,85,3,5,27,8,7,34,22,32,1,10,87,23,214,23,214,105,26,241,6,7,5,0,103,111,1,25,98,836,260,29,0.055471926133675735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029641309473457538,0.0,0.05745218601688465,0.0,0.0,0.09231417261313958,0.0,0.0,0.09430702996074987,0.0,0.021217935829461628,0.0,0.0,0.019393630269595803,0.0,0.02282433434679584,0.04938177499026679,0.0,0.03155366208216291,0.052117700626733966,0.17061794847657255,0.023158370628858355,0.2197986134453533,0.0,0.04720252343934355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056643038715635585,0.0,0.08483598855503849,0.0,0.029340971267255163,0.04778415254414446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643472883904382,0.030689315587007288,0.1523332652421543,0.05366220491740612,0.0,0.023888944347562655,0.0,0.057571101439085025,0.14489089053014625,0.031787816605745964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22754439503361884,0.027170684614080617,0.06432982314409387,0.0,0.023169838141296792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279879147074584,0.05495802606464628,0.025088766507807773,0.02336874512608899,0.026502901308948414,0.02492729517925119,0.027131093993410814,0.05229399508383086,0.0,0.09816895409326187,0.03962915511371288,0.10652349649600272,0.0,0.025350167763752224,0.023592196015728997,0.0,0.0,0.10714368131703886,0.0,0.18838164725592535,0.02660686310204993,0.06305194794561465,0.0,0.28837878410894746,0.0,0.030554290298247282,0.0,0.04905364108116009,0.0,0.04969195001907298,0.02738352133433268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03718166278938431,0.08791370337046768,0.05564286481647445,0.0,0.027314336636536127,0.032003577477446594,0.0,0.0,0.05991919925468645,0.028949139412345982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04521702353830097,0.0,0.05873676026173014,0.030135205026452005,0.0,0.11754438578390433,0.08130234334108516,0.0,0.17143954474092105,0.04909090902858765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943204958080008,0.0,0.05248887776274612,0.0,0.19683939252761734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027951327203238147,0.0,0.0,0.3248402472592252,0.04427716220685445,0.0884368179564382,0.04077824838987724,0.0,0.04278336917006234,0.02678756596367741,0.029497511379222668,0.13014161226280646,0.02717535490294382,0.026613404605691487,0.0,0.0873126826423949,0.0,0.1503568510916435,0.0,0.0,0.03254217661184786,0.030797504655791324,0.030035345151515663,0.052954230273868835,0.05768587352132384,0.024217973123995276,0.0,0.03044575849399813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029904059290866883,0.0,0.0,0.027882303606574968,0.0,0.029500610808759188,0.0,0.06313919629028222,0.05330510448162192,0.028517189450834923,0.0,0.0,0.031419439351860916,0.04737272182470408,0.05276650469639202,0.0,0.0,0.14035137688018695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266748707503303,0.02847056751160992,0.02294347526442217,0.031176384578423588,0.08326798094297601,0.02827332147445029,0.023500591499929592,0.042704998850811686,0.16458946007905131,0.0,0.039263314829852604,0.0,0.08859990373272321,0.04637701411618142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341596977227539,0.13375869896109754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018426541427307225,0.08886042602063284,0.0,0.0,0.11321144177685805,0.0,0.052580899812649386,0.1325145065447421,0.0,0.07532359314380435,0.09050628970328747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02395496682143745,0.0,0.13731044565106976,0.114515727415914,0.06604654943892592,0.0,0.0,0.02493796175234349,0.10284606255072777,0.025027392614736563,0.0,0.0,0.0534729572725631,0.0,0.10096055723191892,0.0,0.0,0.1576226590321997,0.0,0.0,0.107166305134645
mentalhealth,Cute-Squishy,2019/03/23,"Counselor told me it sounded like when I’m upset it can be resolved when I talk to people about how I’m feeling but I have no one. I’m posting this out of my frustration. Since seeing that counselor I had been in a good mood, but we all know a sunny day isn’t everyday, and there can be thunder storms.

I haven’t had an IRL friend since I dropped out of high school. I have a hard time keeping online friends because I’m...afraid of abandonment. As the counselor put it it’s very possible I have BPD and we’re gonna see if DBT (therapy) will help with these mood swings. Things I’m actually diagnosed with are depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia. As you can imagine agoraphobia can make having friends in person be very hard. And so I have none...

I live with my boyfriend but because he’s dealt with and been around my mood swings so long, it’s not really something I feel I can talk to him about anymore without possibly sparking something. I don’t wanna post on one of those subreddits to make friends because I feel like it comes off as I only wanna make friends to be able to vent...I don’t know if that’s bad or not but it feels that way.

I’ve been on every medication under the Fucking sun for my anxiety and we’ve settled with Zoloft for my depression, but because I experience side effects so strongly even at what is considered the lowest dose, I only take 25mg because 50mg was miserable. 

Everyday, I wake up in bed with this nausea I’ve had for most days for the past 5 years. There’s other stomach problems but I won’t go into details.

It just feels miserable. Miserable being so alone and feeling like shit constantly. Trying new medication only to feel even worse. And being too afraid to leave my house unless it’s to go somewhere I feel safe, like my psych’s office. I’ve felt so suicidal on and off the past few years, a week and a half ago was the first time I went to a place for feeling that way. But the appointments are still not for another week and the good feelings don’t last forever. It feels alone and all I can do is distract myself with things I can do at home which make me feel lazy and like I’m a failure or lay in bed and try to sleep to get rid of my awful thoughts and feelings.

I’m so tired of existing it’s hard and I don’t want to. ",3.127599089370147,4.68110223974082,4.276015410659042,86.6936109976067,74.11879049676025,7.597198061992879,27.63230401027377,8.27314431278463,1.790520798552332,1799,70,374,30,37,588,216,463,0.195,0.679,0.127,-0.9908,1,2,2,0,0,0,42.0,1,1,0,4,19,32,3,6,16,1,40,11,4,6,2,81,80,40,1,6,17,0,17,5,5,3,6,2,3,1,24,29,0,3,20,0,0,5,13,14,0,4,12,21,37,15,57,59,5,51,1,6,2,1,14,20,2,5,26,230,61,2,0.07106218121207303,0.0,0.06934643802010595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299233599783882,0.0,0.0,0.14719797700635762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451489302657971,0.10872474824298503,0.0,0.07047458878466765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632604073360599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059333953042788774,0.21659423045780052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950032958702181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121377683865775,0.0,0.07679297258787167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165845610842804,0.0,0.12241150509904868,0.07212661808309101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387180097436287,0.0,0.05987295255791564,0.0,0.0,0.06951244898889868,0.0,0.0,0.4671052620060381,0.10153367291360033,0.06823083800173944,0.0,0.0,0.06044545503685723,0.0,0.0,0.27451232463542724,0.06569584144982887,0.037127056699940784,0.0,0.08077255042285955,0.1192071721566707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19097326899342607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047631482139961136,0.07508109603503854,0.07128116181180777,0.0,0.0,0.08199621612764901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316333177128844,0.0,0.0,0.07810783271512968,0.05792516223082151,0.0,0.07524458933462631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17358696125399095,0.0,0.06274920792977318,0.06288779417625259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973823106375676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431753429010571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863229743109937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963071461860112,0.16213797298892094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567378564066312,0.049265568889394866,0.062048755638275825,0.07424485455233731,0.0,0.0,0.16022386405536704,0.13611585239990134,0.0,0.0,0.06799691026275127,0.0,0.07143711962428571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552425293559929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191872121540781,0.11325471594881065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294430782320918,0.11756674126989047,0.0,0.07111350146948181,0.0,0.0,0.10941427776222276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05675034971072315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773049238727987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342991647390855,0.1142341789413637,0.0,0.0,0.08126579734650786,0.0,0.09442111116629506,0.0,0.0,0.056415434159717524,0.08287385866336627,0.08167552363412188,0.0,0.06790295945100916,0.0,0.09649311279782673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172674834672599,0.04191431563650925,0.1128117035477478,0.1140035907272634,0.0,0.0,0.06587535392512009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850140682858823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072418433667088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152342967089047
mentalhealth,wittyoak,2019/03/23,"It's hard to stay optimistic and hopeful This post is partly a rant of a college student, and partly the hopelessness of a regular person. 

All my school life, I was praised by the teachers and mentors alike that I was going to be successful. Shit happened, which requires a whole different post to explain, and I struggled with keeping my sanity. Animal abuse, sadism, suicidal attempts. I was jumping between borderline psychopathic behavior and depression. Needless to say, I never got to to see that ""success"". I don't blame that on anybody but myself though, I knew I could do better.

​

With time, I started getting stable, left all my dark times in the past and started having a more positive attitude to life. I started meditating, working out, studying more, in the hope that now I won't be waiting for my success to come to me, but I'll work for it.

​

But it's like there's one hurdle after another. Here's an example. I couldn't get into the college I wanted, had to settle for something way. It was big, but I got over it pretty soon, 'it's more about what I do than where I do it'. Found my field of interest and started working on it. Even started teaching my peers and juniors about it in the university clubs. 

​

Then comes summer. Every one but me got an internship pretty early, pretty big internships. Even the people I taught, and who literally made a fake resume full of projects they never did. I wasn't getting accepted anywhere. Bells started ringing again. I tried to get to my connections and finally managed to start talks with a pretty big company. They wanted me to apply through my college as that's the only way they accept college students. Great, finally a break. Turns out the college isn't registered, they apply every year to get registered but they don't get accepted. Remember? not a good enough college? Talked to the connection, he said to give them a copy of the letter so they can fast track the process. Again, the college was sending applications to the wrong address, wrong branch. By this time, the company lost its interest and not I'm right where I started.

​

What I'm getting at, is that now I'm starting to lose hope, not just in my future, but everything in general. I don't see a point of me working this hard and leading to nowhere. Although I'm sure I won't do anything drastic, but it's after a very long time that I'm feeling this bad again, suicidal-bad. Any suggestions to make me feel better are welcome",4.890746570982117,6.83494551605996,5.554273974188323,77.72169859366862,70.28479657387581,8.389119740725738,34.034897852884995,8.994212911058018,3.275870467040916,1984,100,336,39,37,642,226,467,0.105,0.731,0.16399999999999998,0.9888,1,0,1,0,1,1,81.0,0,0,7,15,17,29,1,1,29,0,27,3,1,3,5,60,76,25,1,7,12,0,4,1,0,2,2,3,1,1,26,20,0,3,9,1,0,6,13,10,0,2,17,9,44,19,55,53,10,66,1,4,2,0,21,21,1,3,34,235,70,25,0.0,0.07419471426612251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27139590432335,0.3043616582149202,0.042583893093548764,0.06566275469826664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05153110081824693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457052666068736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107649816216034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788353977177324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04999714570161913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539346988574305,0.0,0.0,0.06542479595776428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647034208572746,0.0,0.08272012197971511,0.0,0.10552046274746764,0.0,0.05627901087895345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633253237999456,0.0,0.0,0.13719476792707264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686598328690511,0.0,0.0,0.2290153420902151,0.06007101561590586,0.03558851089592073,0.052522864797010606,0.15024931763249166,0.0690390073846268,0.0,0.0,0.05537484873924088,0.0,0.11219082437984064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18658800673257925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05565972373527968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803704611059737,0.0,0.0884610185838726,0.030593073659979757,0.0,0.0,0.05541691915248928,0.0,0.07005600222205878,0.06835736118995422,0.0,0.0,0.05925276090709782,0.041799479329516116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659313943393316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486615572871374,0.04762549478463804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562317968154694,0.05977808021767075,0.04341297200683074,0.05467755579217541,0.0,0.0,0.05919634319845354,0.0,0.11994571103379388,0.254829081450973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093649577214642,0.05347732089996948,0.05956616372731144,0.04979810783886119,0.0,0.06337500005127644,0.09980040673367073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427875014893633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04820810034999398,0.0,0.0,0.3989061901636062,0.06674481660760398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546424434005635,0.0,0.06849635082185285,0.0,0.05901881094078318,0.0,0.0,0.100663512558611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615240426542029,0.0,0.14605740225300615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04251501504172996,0.06811281136062725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05166823495436726,0.07387004970950188,0.09941002283271144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991323301990864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235304738654126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369307482016112,0.3043616582149202,0.040325364954090906
mentalhealth,KonshLifts1,2019/03/23,What should I do? Psychiatrists of Reddit i want to delete my YouTube account but I have helped suicidal people with supportive comments. However will removing these comments which is a side effect of deleting channel affect the people’s mental health negatively. Also I responded to some troll comments and they responded back saying what’s the problem etc. I responded and they responded back again However if I delete my comments will the suicidal people think I’m agreeing with him.,7.310860585197936,10.182197710843381,7.0897074010327055,65.35180722891567,65.86746987951807,10.525989672977623,38.3631669535284,10.608840637214634,5.254863683304649,402,22,53,12,7,127,54,83,0.17800000000000002,0.7440000000000001,0.078,-0.9186,2,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,6,1,0,2,0,13,10,5,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,11,1,6,7,2,5,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,2,3,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086955096066687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478243919229777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522414044767114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24041010589903916,0.0,0.0,0.15159822710186416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279280339428401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4703972602942255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21641592033495466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17986093719906995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49479060101639705,0.256657141123778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449217924496955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340202015993635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ghost_anatomy,2019/03/23,"What makes you use a mental health mobile app? Hi reddit. I'm doing some research for a personal project on a mental health app and I'm looking for some opinions on what makes a good mental health app.



I've been going back and forth between a few options:

**Talk to People App** - You're matched with or choose a professional to talk to, or talk to volunteers or even AI


**Mood Log/Journal** - You receive a push notification to fill in a quick journal/mood entry.

**Therapist Update App** - You already have a therapist and can provide them updates between sessions and they can assign you homework/exercises to practice on your own time

In each of these options, I want to include a **Mental Health Services map**, for users who want to find help in their area, and a section for **resources, tools and exercises**. I also want to make it a big point to have a personal assessment when the users first opens the app to tailor the app experience to how the user personally takes in information (videos, reading, listening, etc.)


So, Reddit, what I would love to know from you is:

* What features do you like using in a mental health app?
* What would make you use the app every day?
* Would a mental health services map be useful in an app?
* Would you like a therapist to assign you homework/exercises through an app?
* Would you prefer to talk to a professional, a volunteer or AI?


I appreciate any comments, answers and ideas. Thank you!",1.96377205810666,4.806684585551331,3.2369581749049416,83.86630203763285,90.97718631178707,5.58716973774008,24.994540313931953,7.116496586553881,1.5930605245198404,1118,48,195,19,39,361,132,263,0.0,0.888,0.112,0.9752,0,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,0,12,3,1,8,6,0,0,25,0,14,8,0,9,0,43,34,15,0,9,4,0,0,2,0,5,7,1,0,3,8,10,0,0,7,3,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,2,19,5,35,27,7,28,0,0,1,1,30,16,0,9,10,127,27,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744222615176084,0.06336741362120284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388524908318765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06092991328131238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110261097062358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837245033767377,0.05233662370038082,0.0,0.06676228974684699,0.0,0.0,0.07751096383497504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242302640741126,0.06740066775806856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04503335967694667,0.06646192836178866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5053642209528516,0.0,0.0,0.053112243105496164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945120568722402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043547691707549886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742436281092664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665408177959381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151630694044321,0.0,0.21157063777804316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4791257542027433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054934357572486055,0.20756536092053168,0.0,0.0,0.07490648379787919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926046064684704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595778797000269,0.2547572828014211,0.0,0.07295264116412294,0.0,0.2760078197955017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04620490829453359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737482782545237,0.0,0.0,0.14021167650076788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814456225665059,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,damnwriter,2019/03/23,"Questionnaire about Mental Illness in Media (for final year of Broadcast Media)  

Hey guys, doing my final year of Broadcast Media in university and I really need some results for my questionnaire. Facebook was useless and I don't have the reach to do a physical survey. It would really help me out if some of you could fill out my questionnaire, deadline's getting kinda close now.

Here's the link:[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe8deb\_MbWOjGY0p8j1UsDTFWl6h5yh4ZYKYoCpbYf1o5cHFA/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe8deb_MbWOjGY0p8j1UsDTFWl6h5yh4ZYKYoCpbYf1o5cHFA/viewform?usp=sf_link)

Pretty short and general, personal answers would be very much appreciated, but only if you have time! :)

Thanks.",13.990000000000002,18.137706186274517,10.321715686274512,43.77022058823533,50.86274509803922,11.374509803921569,36.27941176470589,11.20814326018867,5.227976470588237,629,24,66,16,8,181,72,102,0.05,0.7959999999999999,0.154,0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,1,0,19,13,6,0,6,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,8,1,11,8,3,13,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,5,6,44,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18409674014803573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5051710289918094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046681388662465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283071933878723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545507078698198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323670907151993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950041180369782,0.17096970829082586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536397757812808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013306887692163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345794071426519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954266884145013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21228405493048005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445113341939255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902499330875556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275901573813545,0.0,0.0,0.2969676820205984
mentalhealth,i_cant_meme,2019/03/23,There gone I miss them. I want to stop taking my meds. They are gone u can't see them anymore I can't here them I don't feel the same.,-4.2696875,-4.271853593749997,-1.492499999999998,112.88750000000002,131.8125,1.6,7.125,3.1291,-2.8665125,103,1,30,0,8,34,23,32,0.146,0.805,0.05,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,11,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,2,9,0,1,9,1,3,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,18,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4564717635473545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23273021730475385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5112647238282977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36678170678773453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848127379489805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460715219432252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714836922984688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ataraxia1298,2019/03/23,"Side Effect of Zoloft? I recently started taking Zoloft for my anxiety and I'm on day 3 now. Last night, I woke up and I felt really dizzy, and my stomach was very upset, like maybe I had to vomit. I started sweating profusely and my heart felt like it was beating abnormally fast. 

After a while it went away, but this morning I'm still feeling a little sick to my stomach and there's a weird feeling in my chest (which may just be anxiety). 

I'm not sure if this is something that Zoloft caused or if it could be something else and would appreciate any advice. Thanks!",3.6322222222222216,5.341050714285718,4.645476190476192,83.92174603174607,73.10714285714286,7.477777777777778,27.62301587301588,8.167268648758528,1.84365753968254,448,17,87,7,9,146,76,112,0.135,0.7390000000000001,0.126,0.1466,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,1,3,0,9,10,5,2,1,22,22,11,0,4,6,0,4,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,4,10,4,9,10,0,18,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,4,13,54,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18202729018960706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126674442678663,0.0,0.28500210399026715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501295193297478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913573305730703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14872666886898575,0.0,0.0,0.12013296540830115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556101562484337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18837404279082295,0.0,0.357709402905322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207386103505797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518402514289275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201062768929027,0.1866980411552101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871398331981216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480792481276208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933352874025177,0.0,0.1839256219826835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28680957990464645,0.0,0.0,0.26369500374778404,0.0,0.14876069460830504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17556344524577278,0.0,0.1400567842848113,0.0,0.0,0.17149842152785102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369766340189853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726802294156986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323255176121474,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,time4sunshine,2019/03/23,"Is it sex addiction? When i have sex with my husband it puts him in a really good mood, like he can conquer the world. But if a few weeks go by and we haven't had sex, he gets irritable, short-fused, anxious and even depressed. However, if i have sex with him, all those symptoms disappear and he's back on top of the world. Is he a sex addict? He doesn't cheat on me. He makes a lot of sexual references and can be really crude. He loves porn. He doesn't necessarily care about my pleasure or if I'm in the mood. Lots of times in the past he outright raped me. I wish he could regulate himself more without me feeling like i can fix him by giving him sex because it's demeaning and unfair to me. I have encouraged him to seek out sex elsewhere when I'm not having it but he won't. I have a friend who tells me he seeks out sex when he is feeling strong emotions because it calms him down. Is that also a form of sex addiction? I'm asking because i want to get them help.",2.39970588235294,3.6686610784313705,4.1325,88.14375000000004,75.47058823529412,7.649019607843138,25.495098039215684,8.278499904357787,1.4339568627450978,756,26,169,13,16,255,109,204,0.109,0.7390000000000001,0.152,0.8423,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,1,3,7,16,3,0,10,0,19,16,0,1,1,28,34,15,0,6,8,1,2,2,1,1,4,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,3,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,1,2,23,10,21,30,6,21,0,1,0,12,31,11,0,6,9,105,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5091697843536166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245039021990918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588349931615754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554757327706186,0.0,0.0,0.1197147166132305,0.0,0.28471848492851504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873462972530086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430446397550796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409413151631622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512841750535982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283067441532097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744139631500598,0.1112237749057524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028441847105023,0.0,0.1626814544893388,0.1493504337460154,0.08848126645079038,0.13058398561418372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435460662337127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212290899013706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26472130341022465,0.14051479737171818,0.0,0.10392317000493413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862212861687102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650977424539858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19947586316788896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181978809736025,0.0,0.0,0.13607846369567078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078311792570552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182901147781312,0.0,0.1248837883003266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790338974080087,0.15007799551019127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Frogman7600,2019/03/23,"Was this sexual abuse? 19M When I was 4, i got ""lured"" in to a room by my uncle (2 yrs older) and brother (5 yrs older) and they did things with me (never penetration but oral) which I didnt understand at the time. This continued with my uncle for years amd i looked forward to it. I understood that i couldnt speak about it. Is this sexual abuse? The age gap is so small that I doubt it..

I have a hard time enjoying sex now. Im 19 years old atm. I am very easily anxious about performance and I feel a lesser man if I dont cum in less than 5 minutes, or if im anxious (because in my mind man cannot have anxiety during sex) and have had an intense panic attack after losing my erection and self esteem at the same time. And i really easily start to obsess about sex and have this feeling that I NEED TO HAVE SEX even if im not really feeling it. Also I feel sort of addicted to having sex to prove my self worth.. i would like to space out sex for like 3 times a week because i feel more comfortable that way but i have this urge to have sex everyday which leaves me dissapointed after.. if my childhood experiences were sexual trauma could my sexual behauvior be a direct result of it?

(Also started masturbating when 6-7, watching porn in elementary)",2.990764705882352,4.406524733333335,5.208382352941179,80.43022058823531,74.21568627450979,8.707843137254903,24.122549019607845,9.255337874911486,1.9380549019607844,977,29,198,23,20,342,138,255,0.142,0.746,0.112,-0.8765,0,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,0,0,1,2,10,10,1,3,9,0,23,9,0,1,2,36,35,19,0,8,8,1,6,2,0,1,1,1,1,4,17,10,0,0,8,0,2,1,6,6,0,0,8,9,27,4,28,23,3,34,0,1,2,8,7,11,0,7,25,130,44,0,0.0,0.28879595419827064,0.0,0.13285808784412811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492142955382952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323147896240866,0.2753605510838801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386465962685856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858365379831295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730459604102776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428326665912677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049507567629062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192138594066996,0.0,0.0,0.30810984132447383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747189199506782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917306070771107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949268870679362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904448087400222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908066480048413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234149215871807,0.13634320321301893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230556251803568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036628452580817,0.093994929921061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278837960543254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299012300554514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561481998692433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25427742112884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252276281611853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096610920297682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842573576069247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268726860789291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055687499426197,0.0,0.09673604341230499,0.09775808674924824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657412376063066,0.0,0.0,0.15696269424987444
mentalhealth,habloeggsubar,2019/03/23,"Is there anywhere where I can just vent about my mental health n shit? I desperately need to vent due to my constant fucked up state of mind. I just need to let shit out but I'm not sure where? Do you any of you know of websites where we can just idk vent. I've got nobody to talk to and just need to get it out before I explode or do something I might regret. 

​",1.5027305605786625,3.161801443037973,2.553200723327308,96.85848101265823,78.87341772151899,5.020614828209767,20.146473779385172,5.288315135182226,-0.4085349005424957,290,7,68,1,7,92,51,79,0.212,0.7879999999999999,0.0,-0.9349,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,1,2,0,0,9,5,3,0,0,0,7,4,2,0,1,19,15,3,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,10,1,13,12,0,9,0,1,0,1,4,6,3,2,2,43,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159389026178511,0.24216843890014705,0.13552922497844275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695876071334116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536994001839227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18424745071975587,0.10412478779065458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593965236851206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21184406481953788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095287672812453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20379533306858214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20084513925156847,0.21142329438619467,0.201233796453244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.443330009819134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40915231358159104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342905505996324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783566097119844,0.0,0.0,0.160187888536935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24216843890014705,0.0
mentalhealth,Pmif_,2019/03/23,"While most things are going well in my life, I feel lonely and sad. I'm 16 (Male), and recently I started feeling more and more sad.

I really can't tell why : I have a loving home, a girlfriend, doing decently at school, but I'm feeling more and more tired and overall bad. I don't have time for myself, because of the high amount of work this school year, and I can't play videogames or watch stuff on YouTube as I used to. I'm also dealing with an extreme procrastination problem.

I'm not even sure that I love my girlfriend, but she's a great person, and I don't want to hurt her while I sort my feelings out. But I feel stuck in our relationship, I feel like we don't have as much in common as I originally thought we had.

Help me. I have no suicidal thoughts whatsoever, but it just won't get any better. Why am I sad? There's nothing major going on in my life currently. No matter who/how many read this post until here, thank you for spending some of your time for me.",4.801333333333332,4.7673930000000055,5.601000000000003,84.59133333333338,69.0,8.466666666666667,29.16666666666667,8.07648339933343,1.705916666666667,760,25,165,9,12,249,123,200,0.21,0.6409999999999999,0.149,-0.9254,1,2,0,0,0,0,28.0,3,2,0,2,6,16,0,0,5,0,14,5,0,2,1,35,36,19,1,2,7,0,6,1,2,1,3,0,1,2,6,11,0,0,8,2,1,2,9,7,1,0,4,7,29,9,21,31,9,23,0,5,1,2,17,9,0,4,12,105,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673872406842584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076656919644664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144481228154857,0.08136421767559858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180464800014198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760533618649473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815799977606761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4049293265846976,0.09535350788065833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973440420373576,0.0,0.15171215227958804,0.0,0.0,0.1471550247241263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946448556953263,0.14102209990093914,0.1338848212523248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288616151231526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18855258599401334,0.0652084188542925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24093012217732726,0.0,0.0,0.13532119768711398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811839334061692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280714402574703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654392754557505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783073469174167,0.0,0.0,0.12771613066961512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350963776260782,0.0,0.08550655337268492,0.0,0.1317889965937281,0.14330060719046467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27016465191861194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447324297745673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527952447739847,0.14599836499020474,0.0,0.1257972110577214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666173775695088,0.12288448258009227,0.0,0.0,0.08867387448257906,0.0,0.0,0.21192612820446166,0.15565896334474774,0.1534081741163908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527826475404447,0.0,0.0,0.07872613905653232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200087221469331,0.0,0.24087817891387034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717031071720453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595256944771817
mentalhealth,BlackstoneProp,2019/03/23,"I’m not sure what’s up with me, can you guys help? I’ve been starting to notice tendencies lately where I’m not quite myself like mood swings or just straight anger, and for the past couple days I’ve noticed I can’t do some simple things like put on a wash or do the dishes. Is this normal? I realise this isn’t much compared to what most of you go through but I feel if I can identify what it is then I can work through it and get better.
Thanks in advance!",1.3645464852607674,3.1414479489795966,2.5036054421768696,96.50726757369615,79.71428571428571,5.171882086167801,21.092970521541947,5.82211442006289,-0.10550022675736948,361,10,83,2,9,115,70,98,0.075,0.804,0.122,0.7583,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,4,2,7,1,0,3,0,10,2,0,0,1,15,17,7,0,2,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,8,3,1,0,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,1,1,9,5,10,16,3,13,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,5,7,54,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19837040580086832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481777828228832,0.0,0.14465150474526836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341012290852535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171847060582447,0.0,0.12747182809797905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220869838337373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033998732516768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530141539029965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21915808941704004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648823878803781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21976115134000765,0.0,0.5107219298658839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411463907042985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22547809088332446,0.0,0.23856498727323344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875691970261815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21139506917815365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650039438490198,0.0,0.0,0.14901141029222476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16328918887320049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,YourHoff,2019/03/23,"How to deal with family members with eating disorders? Hi can some give advice on how to deal with emotional outbursts of loved ones with an eating disorder? I recently had a celebration and invited this person to dinner out. Everything was all happy and cheerful until after we left the restaurant. In the car back home, this person had a sudden introspective look and evaluation of their life. This person started crying and suddenly had a word vomit of things about her regret of eating. 

A night planned to celebrate and to have fun was all spoiled. We love this person very dearly, but their emotional outbursts can be very challenging

",7.3958035714285675,9.33262840178572,7.359285714285718,67.2357142857143,64.08928571428571,10.6,32.75,10.686352973137794,4.126692857142858,519,21,75,14,8,166,74,112,0.048,0.7709999999999999,0.181,0.9231,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,2,2,4,8,0,0,7,0,9,8,0,2,2,20,14,9,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,5,12,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,5,1,6,7,19,8,3,13,0,1,1,2,15,4,0,1,8,59,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313815364407874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338261188097464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14768538459367195,0.0,0.2772210383635063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308179301044326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4127231992684898,0.0,0.3024729745596701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208336593315852,0.0,0.12674609783388915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897527023434574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312294823343838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486282653450118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607870897620434,0.0,0.09496496488432477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290289399689665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426900747240073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617082702271426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110579583710826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4695810424874565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275169224209052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516335355005222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932162167919044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218682170576348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,surreyboithrow20,2019/03/23,"Morning depression \ anxiety? Or normal Hi.

So alot of the time now, mainly more recently (past year or so) alot of the times when I wake up in the morning I have absolutely no urge to get out of bed. Even if I have a uni class il leave it till the last second to get out. This could be down to tiredness as I go to bed pretty late usually (about 3am) but my classes are often at like 1pm. So I've had at least 9 hours sleep which is plenty enough. I used to hate waking up late. Made me feel down and like I ruined the day but now I dont care at all.

Alit of days il also question things in the morning. Like my relationship, if I really want to be at uni, what I'm doing with my life, will I have enough time to do my work etc.

Also lately I've noticed I dont care about things.  I've always been quite emotionally numb to most things, but lately when my girlfriend is like explaining something or telling me something nice she did or something funny.  Il find myself not caring at all and just pretending to like it to be nice. Il be listening then randomly get a thought like ""why the fuck do I care what ur saying"" or something. But obviously I still act like I care because I dont want to be a cunt to her.

Any thoughts? That last part doesnt just happen in the morning

Thanks",2.4793900481540945,3.7839108501872687,3.9528410914927785,89.36820224719105,75.32958801498128,7.033279828785447,23.5757089352595,7.62386473244151,0.8950607811663991,995,29,221,13,21,330,146,267,0.152,0.6970000000000001,0.15,-0.3726,0,0,4,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,16,21,3,0,13,0,23,6,3,2,3,39,46,23,0,6,14,0,1,7,1,1,2,2,2,0,10,5,0,0,6,1,0,2,6,6,0,1,6,3,24,15,35,33,12,39,0,2,0,1,11,14,2,13,30,146,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136747093526784,0.07114204564297462,0.0,0.0,0.058142275145873626,0.0,0.06540652714529825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052119417677721436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358598179170861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826402169256479,0.0,0.0,0.11027960780656636,0.0,0.07364019287737764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006126939722976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961749056246761,0.0,0.17668671533147556,0.09535402378702576,0.056471305731479085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04323088065233476,0.06108052711921282,0.0,0.0,0.07814456831731288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790424794089819,0.1340091495880589,0.0,0.048591071464436336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560651358214669,0.0,0.0,0.08441259535722376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419932622252375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938624856150836,0.3857865386339215,0.09053113213659876,0.0,0.0,0.06039049636547849,0.29239356572501723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090125344446397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377090035659744,0.0,0.09734121712561153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258712222341836,0.08161850256557353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698325524362001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577848568224477,0.09093874716063492,0.0,0.0,0.05477287063929925,0.0,0.08441998159660657,0.09179396561531523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799226367937666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556078058448799,0.0,0.0,0.2632853345420282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827963915932217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472992441721522,0.07871602353798944,0.0,0.0,0.17040527764991073,0.0,0.0,0.13575336564716034,0.14956552322899888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738437141230068,0.09416510696369301,0.0,0.10085909115481707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714957984550279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224431518946201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505857483175298
mentalhealth,nefos1986,2019/03/23,"My current situation with my mental health/life story. Please note: this is my first time posting on Reddit and I've been thinking of doing this over a few weeks and I've only just built up to it.

I'm 16 and from Australia. I'm in year 11 (grade 11) but since year 7 I've been going to an all boy's high school but over the last several years it's been a nightmare. I lost all of my friends from my old school and lost full contact. 

I get buillied every day because I have high functioning autism and the other students like to mess around with me and confuse me which made me get depression and anxiety. Since the December Holidays and the beginning of 2019 my mental health has gotten a lot more worse and I tried to commit suicide but luckily it failed.

My doctor recently said to me that she recommended that I leave my school and go to Tafe (it's an Australian uni like type thing) because she agrees that acidemicly I'll do well at my school but my mental health will just get worse, me and my psychologist talked about it and I estimated that If I continue going to my school I'll never see graduation at the end of year 12. 

I have 2 friends at Tafe that are offering to help me if I join but the main problem is that my parents don't want me to go and keep going to my current school which has caused my depression to get worse. 

As of 23rd of March 2019. My depression is getting worse every day and my sanity is falling apart. I've tried to convince my parents but they don't listen to me and keep saying that I'll get buillied more because it's a co-ed environment instead of a single sex environment. 

I don't know if someone will read this but I just want to talk to someone about it. 

Feel free to ask me about stuff.",3.2273904220779217,4.780422088068182,4.297516233766235,86.64261363636366,73.85795454545455,7.414935064935065,26.20779220779221,8.07648339933343,1.5023974025974027,1373,48,285,21,28,447,163,352,0.16899999999999998,0.711,0.12,-0.971,4,0,0,0,0,2,22.0,0,0,1,4,9,16,0,1,13,0,19,4,0,2,4,47,48,26,1,6,13,2,1,2,2,2,3,3,0,1,22,18,0,2,3,2,1,6,4,9,1,1,8,5,41,8,40,38,9,39,0,6,1,1,17,13,0,5,21,176,63,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843634971851192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800121124518725,0.07141214918051557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969562296625285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847116729321199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985274407596811,0.0,0.1973777351652487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818600536151471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765679242858406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871979382412493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0386238953618054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497530335107078,0.0,0.0,0.11803383103605394,0.0,0.2394563928891038,0.0,0.21706433357829816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435895270136864,0.0,0.0,0.051201037352071516,0.1614155104906678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579372146346833,0.0,0.0,0.0419806594363932,0.062266137053855565,0.0,0.08088350091107675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463830296846129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16677230576196106,0.06494205566177856,0.0,0.07227984950866642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309423797875287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891487143359411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015599787465116,0.0,0.0,0.05809625649691975,0.0,0.0,0.16963890992868416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385071031887327,0.0,0.0,0.07315826140427223,0.0,0.0,0.07309267286620325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640833014830166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542359735521081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726621558912525,0.06074653206544608,0.0,0.4638503316495349,0.0608710739312513,0.0,0.0,0.08629631129367672,0.0,0.1263773210632639,0.08586292874229172,0.0,0.0,0.1294460304262895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874455934674925,0.08355570024929049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279501287978932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074856610008392,0.04894612720873152,0.0,0.0,0.04454225800138804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372441189341512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011084031294332,0.0,0.06127357206673779,0.0,0.0686816788371725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31138220022393875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19676459058734536
mentalhealth,magpiecri,2019/03/23,Depression Getting sucked into another depression. Suicidal thoughts and intrusive terrifying images of things I care about dying or leaving. I'm supposed to go back to work Monday and I feel hopeless and passively suicidal - because it's too hard to kill myself.,5.4655303030303015,9.162922977272727,6.310909090909092,62.87803030303033,80.5909090909091,10.206060606060607,39.15151515151515,9.725611199111238,6.063860606060605,217,14,26,8,6,71,36,44,0.513,0.439,0.048,-0.9844,0,0,0,0,0,2,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,7,4,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,2,3,1,6,6,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,17,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504228752297496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18363731210099232,0.0,0.14558203802310973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24349220851665115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113894528060358,0.0,0.2478567446711225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075422158047147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477323538934253,0.0,0.1357265205313874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139351976984392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642181884575409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528751722147346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5224591381941159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866094132495834,0.0,0.0,0.18959586004601375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386330593075888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,murdanyc916,2019/03/23,"Epilepsy, PTSD, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, Depression, any advice or tips? In the past 5 months after coming out of prison, I've been diagnosed with Generalized Epilepsy with Tonic Clonic Seizures, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Schizophrenia, Depression, any advice or tips?

​

This is all new to me and I am struggling to cope very much. I graduated my group support counseling for PTSD recently and it didnt really help.

​

I am on... 

Carbamazepine 200mg 3x a day for Epilepsy (working great)

Escitalopram 10m 1x a day for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD (works short term only)

​

any advice? any tips? and tricks to cope?",6.909444444444446,10.096685129629632,6.759037037037039,65.83966666666669,68.07407407407408,10.616296296296298,36.725925925925935,10.577609850970193,5.128908148148149,526,28,73,17,10,166,72,108,0.246,0.731,0.023,-0.9727,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,2,0,6,1,1,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,13,7,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,5,2,13,5,3,13,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,2,8,35,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878033837091298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31911434639430186,0.3578763352044578,0.26704664774468323,0.0,0.22530844085845594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456817692663827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662816988781012,0.0,0.16911418238998213,0.09964450674637797,0.0,0.0,0.2250317358955171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823714171214464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580393853996626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836152129849958,0.0,0.07216915945946037,0.0,0.0,0.09481702603211144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466572338442577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371815709564686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590404403361844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628927551204372,0.0,0.09693494549138568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263274285271567,0.0,0.0,0.11140665074535594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100380177275726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294362983565645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578763352044578,0.0
mentalhealth,Sunshineandrain1992,2019/03/23,"How do I help my boyfriend? I am worried about his mental health My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years and have live together for around six months. Throughout our relationship, my boyfriend has always come across as a serious / pessimistic person. Doesn't smile a lot, gets very discouraged over small things like parking and traffic and when he gets upset over a small thing, he lets it ruin his whole day.

Early on in our relationship, while looking for something in his bathroom, I found some prescription medication hidden in the back of his cupboard. I asked him about it and he was very evasive. He eventually admitted that a few years ago he ""saw someone"" at uni and was prescribed ""something."" He said that it helped, but he stopped taking it after a while. 

Much later, he talked about having a great relationship with a psychologist several years ago during a uni assignment and then eventually making an appointment. They asked him about his life and made recommendations to go to bed earlier, eat better and exercise. 

He can become fixated on a perceived 'problem' in his life, eg not liking his job, being bored at work, not earning $X amount etc. Then he will change it and still be upset then find something else to fixate on. It's like he is always dissatisfied and fixating on how to make it better instead of enjoying what he has. 

I have asked if he would consider seeing a counsellor or psychologist and he has repeatedly said ""I don't want to tell a stranger about my problems.""

He has recently become more agitated due to our discussions about moving forward in our relationship as it becomes more serious. It's like he is constantly stressed out and on edge. He said today that it's like he is on 90% stress level already, so it only takes something small to tip him over the edge. When we fight, even if it's about something small, his brain goes into this crisis mode where he says oh we are fighting about which bread to buy, that means we will always fight about food, I can't do that, we should break up. 

He is resistant to couples counselling, reading books about communication and mental health etc. 

What the heck can I do? 

TL;DR My boyfriend is pessimistic and stressed out all the time. He is resistant to help, what can I do to help him? ",7.0321381698869825,7.776682002369673,6.706350710900477,75.89015311702518,64.28436018957345,9.904629967189207,33.529347429821364,9.851270322608157,3.2147561793656583,1823,73,325,36,26,571,215,422,0.14,0.775,0.085,-0.9643,1,0,5,0,4,0,51.0,8,0,1,4,21,24,3,5,16,0,36,10,1,5,1,51,58,31,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,4,6,4,1,1,24,25,3,2,5,3,1,4,5,15,0,2,9,7,36,9,53,42,11,60,0,2,3,0,65,30,1,5,32,213,60,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563830207912084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442776501074134,0.0,0.1909807363223209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810776346023356,0.21457213815074624,0.0,0.0,0.058829430894308275,0.0,0.0,0.25348907702766443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353290704434872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540750693076007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093463352249289,0.06590430901412048,0.0,0.08267726738840694,0.0,0.0,0.08465392939675938,0.0,0.0493409125126243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828612080916646,0.06391207508642104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065184176769238,0.050532384200312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992633335157265,0.0,0.09251299329071996,0.08388636212405277,0.0,0.0,0.07994386701499666,0.0,0.04348089104971723,0.0,0.0,0.08434962527796201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264747429688858,0.0,0.0,0.20512506039458367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592174122484383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823395058373382,0.10807881010928327,0.18688813737891274,0.0,0.06755739317792679,0.0,0.06424690650885137,0.0,0.0,0.06504381443568442,0.0,0.07239310599229865,0.1021385026182662,0.0,0.0,0.08333893483483064,0.0,0.07707310779584982,0.15420283146427666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06106743815647004,0.08131520693940245,0.05624170650422795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05818728847564915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680326842607294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641440595221544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652805561607216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554177982899031,0.3285610543379123,0.0,0.0,0.21832803425110872,0.0608417168045034,0.0,0.0,0.060966453817004176,0.0,0.0,0.08643153040154693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482443076897318,0.2944954855180789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109886984841222,0.06396357174361124,0.2629167384373573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504801395202807,0.06149371120139373,0.06687079753153229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016561697240405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04461205199720525,0.0,0.07252002358505777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473656559945185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262531552023743,0.04512601823450006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541772587120475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0556982631922017,0.07769692934581468,0.0,0.05434862750201898,0.0,0.0,0.14780467819263748
mentalhealth,a800759,2019/03/23,"I feel desensitized to violence and I don’t know if it’s okay. When I hear about school shootings and mass murders, I don’t really feel anything. I see everyone around me mourning and crying but I don’t feel the sadness that they do. Is this okay? I’m scared that this isn’t normal. ",-0.5220846394984306,1.3975821206896557,1.5215360501567403,93.54525078369907,107.10344827586206,4.867711598746081,19.06583072100313,6.574015621080383,0.4802206896551722,225,8,47,4,11,74,38,58,0.28600000000000003,0.649,0.065,-0.9178,0,0,0,1,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,3,6,1,1,1,2,6,0,0,0,0,11,13,6,2,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,5,8,2,3,13,0,3,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,29,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427213549826349,0.26257088498109443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239922443012708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818404260530853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4474116063903578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332433697087342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209856704697792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889915151064412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18895457498247573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29529961188083803,0.2985083889188626,0.23503951560876746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,caffeinated9,2019/03/23,"I feel completely numb I don’t necessarily feel depressed or upset, but I feel nothing. Nothing interests me, and nothing brings out any emotion. Sometimes, yeah, a joke can make me laugh a little, but it just goes straight back to that numb feeling. I don’t sense much anxiousness from inside my chest, so I doubt it’s my anxiety, but there is a little bit there. That’s only because I’m writing this post to an audience.
I’ve been sick the past four days or so, maybe it’s because I haven’t seen any of my friends in person for a while or something but I also feel anxious to go back to school after such a long time off. I don’t feel happy or sad or angry or anything.

Have you felt like this and why?
Is there any way I can get help or help myself?",2.459925558312655,4.099050516129033,3.7529032258064534,89.39243176178664,76.09677419354837,6.317617866004963,25.471464019851126,7.010146845296331,0.9876997518610428,590,21,125,6,13,193,95,155,0.188,0.611,0.202,0.5474,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,10,12,0,2,7,1,10,4,1,1,0,25,23,17,0,0,12,0,7,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,7,1,0,2,4,6,0,1,3,8,16,6,11,20,2,18,0,2,1,0,6,6,0,8,9,77,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605891002702282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705654432320997,0.0,0.10145656187309762,0.29965345502795593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913778364116752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039584644967982,0.0,0.16169202540482785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479043771912786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390531443624432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553114147088706,0.0,0.11422836697036864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491835094909285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40235035026293015,0.0,0.12733929209761902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246453396997976,0.0,0.06929026897952059,0.0,0.07537295226759458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118010865093472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778938072278716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479310942332707,0.2658470390056709,0.0,0.11736756320918434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852717017376106,0.0,0.1332380624560918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749348179052107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817672773732247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086609567961882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660407174865496,0.0,0.115801664612631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270165866013954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134221992816541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209999674383677,0.13116796464388294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733378927078513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527030658578776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196720184163058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nichie16,2019/03/23,"Think I might have SAD I have never been a big fan of summer. As I got older, I started to hate it. Today, the temperature hit 20°C for the first time this year and I'm sitting at home, crying with a glass of wine while my parents are working in our garden.

Summer for me means this: most of my friends are on vacation or visiting their relatives and my parents are at work. That means I'm home alone until around 6 pm, when my parents come home. The first day or two after coming back from somewhere or spending the weekend with someone is always fine - I enjoy being alone and even do something other than sit on the couch all day. After that, I fall. I wake up when I'm already all alone at home and I already feel lonely. I move from my bed to the couch. I make some breakfast and tell myself that I'll get up and go empty the dishwasher or something after an hour or so. Guess what, I don't. Until somebody comes back home. Then, they get mad at me for doing nothing all day (which is completely understandable tbh), so I promise myself that I'll do something tomorrow. But of course I fucking don't, because I'm a lazy piece of shit. Don't get me wrong, I really want to, I just don't have the will to get up. After a couple of days of living like this, I find myself crying about how pathetic I am while eating some unhealthy food I somehow manage to find at home, or, if I get up, buy at the supermarket near my house (however it's always the only thing I do all day). 

But that's not the only issue. I'm super self conscious, and hate summer clothes. I look terrible in shorts, so I just wear the same three maxi dresses I have all summer. I always compare myself to everyone I see. I don't do this at all during winter, because I feel a lot more confident in a nice pair of pants and a turtleneck. Of course, typical summer activities such as swimming are a huge nope for me, which results of course in staying at home all day, which brings us to issue no. 1. 

Today, as I already said, the temperature hit 20°C. For my American friends, it's a bit warmer spring. My mum is super happy, cause she can finally make our garden a bit nicer than it became during winter. And trust me, I really want to help her, but I don't wanna be outside. And it pisses me off, because this winter I finally started running, and how am I gonna continue as the weather gets warmer if I can't even work in my own garden. Also people with children are suddenly gonna be everywhere I move.

I feel terrible about all of this. Everyone seems to be happy, but I'm sitting here making myself some kind of victim of the sun. I hate this, I hate myself for thinking like this. What do I do",3.9301748807631154,4.668609088235293,5.392951112877584,82.58491852146267,71.16911764705883,7.8663751987281385,27.202702702702695,8.00916892397051,1.6583286565977744,2080,68,417,27,37,703,241,544,0.101,0.805,0.094,-0.7841,4,5,4,0,0,0,69.0,3,0,2,7,20,28,9,0,26,0,36,9,4,7,9,73,83,40,0,5,15,4,3,2,2,4,0,1,13,2,25,18,4,0,12,6,2,11,11,14,0,4,3,6,66,14,70,70,19,85,0,2,2,1,19,25,3,17,47,291,91,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19687488582092488,0.2097679486591121,0.05067137069483802,0.15816928347620868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640650650488253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744447645401973,0.0,0.11587649574561427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835197704491692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509125833671904,0.0,0.16374484990724847,0.06643490322950638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010995775790227,0.13920256723838192,0.24518337069387344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483617077284548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370133192720015,0.0,0.0,0.12109212966736108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611471465328217,0.0,0.0,0.13882214549629282,0.1158252738503459,0.10779307615313337,0.07661879487330406,0.0,0.09790819804849564,0.05857807535758916,0.1986273234815488,0.0,0.03601065486853021,0.0,0.05067718190775256,0.0,0.069801491534067,0.0,0.0,0.13490219008221568,0.0,0.2502313899532482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247088535001289,0.0,0.44490780896141824,0.0,0.062399794558579615,0.07311239830957525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322690260441303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598281717769643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06191192546150229,0.0,0.05595069261037465,0.0,0.05320896423248482,0.0,0.0,0.05386895936189392,0.0,0.0,0.12688588979360765,0.0,0.0,0.13804177177585844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672181331276152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346896892848739,0.0,0.0,0.04886945420385495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060798510393921236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638083822322374,0.0,0.0,0.21107134934417934,0.0,0.0,0.04392792821051523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118392458968744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027272593955155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05049210984319515,0.05768329828359716,0.06610143120148151,0.0,0.06504121214184187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368726691459108,0.14633980629153748,0.0,0.0,0.08969731945803297,0.06753653059969053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055382057555764634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420955637616005,0.08120090781422727,0.0,0.0,0.03694747666535527,0.0,0.12012143621404328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189644703425715,0.06596312085408597,0.0762178910608218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474628182644617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838706274194296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927749701018028,0.0,0.04080369656533565
mentalhealth,i_am_cadmium,2019/03/23,"I'm 16, I sometimes feel unmotivated and quite upset. Yet my mother, instead of helping me, just makes things worse. I don't know what has gotten in my head. I sometimes feel quite upset and unmotivated. My mother always gets pissy about me when I'm moody. I can't help myself and she is only able to make me feel worse. My day just started and I already feel like shit, she never showed a bit of compassion and support. She says I'm doing this because I've pleasure in being upset, which makes me even more upset. I sometimes feel like I want to punch her when she starts being this stupid to me. I've done nothing wrong. I don't understand... Is she upset because of work and is acting like this because she has no patience for me. I feel like I can only blame my parents for how I am, I was raised by them and if I'm like this it's their fault. I may try to do things different, but it's very hard to not feel upset, sad and unmotivated about life especially when my bitchy mother does nothing to help me. ",2.7731190817790505,4.433236882926831,4.193916786226687,86.47236728837878,75.29268292682926,6.1893830703012895,23.278335724533715,6.794906146795322,0.6730401721664272,791,23,162,7,17,262,104,205,0.218,0.677,0.105,-0.97,3,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,3,11,19,2,6,1,0,17,3,2,4,1,29,39,14,0,2,5,4,8,5,0,1,1,1,0,0,10,8,0,0,9,1,0,1,6,12,0,0,3,9,36,7,16,33,2,11,0,1,0,0,17,2,1,2,13,103,46,1,0.11068602245540184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221447781618432,0.0,0.09209963755528186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024195158148866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084046909282005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138332765756213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564333514690775,0.0,0.0,0.09686208415066483,0.11327023033805432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310707392705315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39176325087416203,0.2372223496747563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057828878335843326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915293516957524,0.0,0.11359579195749375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225715230719138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083014325192713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818081103482277,0.2703779980237917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22165133844009274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536788409444539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124124475289836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836341556105666,0.0,0.0,0.12290372912909632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354564189862589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802196766817505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361761144958728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284139193279744,0.0,0.15668827278352895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560518659368047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706975007742867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514854362588387,0.0,0.0,0.11522805292831174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132756050373242,0.06528548382015142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058074261169755,0.0,0.22559702610700366,0.0,0.12101778977207896,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jessie_201903,2019/03/23,"I hate new things, can't get myself to shop for clothes Hi!

​

It's my first post here, so how should I begin? As the title says, I hate new stuff and that's becoming really a problem for me.

​

I always hated shoping for clothes. As I grew up my parents bought clothes for me. Later as a teenager there were always discussions about my outfits. I never liked to dress fancy, just plain t-shirts or tops and jeans and sneakers. My parents were quite posh people, so when my clothes looked worn out they put a lot of pressure on me to buy new stuff and throw the old things away. I hated that and this situation was one of the reasons I moved out as soon as possible after graduating from school age of 19. 

​

I went to university and got a part time job translating texts. After the first year I dropped out of university, though. My grades weren't that good and I saw no point in doing all this stuff. I still have the job and work from home (I'm German and my customer is located in England). I'm quite introvert and rarely leave the house except for doing errands. I have no real friends, I'm not a really social person.

​

To come to the point of this posting: as I moved out of my parent's house I had one pair of jeans, a pair of jogging pants (I was never allowed to wear except for sports outside), a bunch of tops and t-shirts, one sweatshirt, a jeans jacket and sneakers. Plus a dress and ballerinas I got for the graduation ceremony.

​

The dress I gave away to a fellow student as soon as I moved in to my apartment, since I hate wearing dresses. The year I spent on university I mostly wore t-shirts and the jogging pants. I was the only person there dressing like that every day but I didn't care. I wore the jogging pants until they got big holes and didn't really stay on me anymore due to worn out elastics. At the same time my sneakers fell apart and I switched to jeans and ballerinas.

​

That was 4 years ago and I still bought no new clothes yet.

​

Meaning I don't have any proper clothes to wear. After those years of everyday wear my jeans are badly tattered and my t-shirts and tops all have visible holes. My jacket is torn at the shoulder. And my shoes are so worn out now that I walk out of them all the time. Running out of socks and underwear.

​

So yesterday I decided I need new clothes. Took 100€ out of my bank (almost all my savings) and went into town to shop for new clothes. I went to at least 10 shop and ...

​

... I couldn't to it. I just couldn't! I had a pair of jeans and some nice tops in my hands in the last shop and was about to go to the checkout but I couldn't do it. Had kind of a mental breakdown, I began to shiver and my heart was bumping and I was sweating. So I just dropped the new clothes and went outside, crying.

​

In the end of the day I spent the 100 for books in my favourite bookstore.

​

So ... don't know ... what is wrong with me? ",2.71840370358586,4.71725012478921,3.4191161029622346,90.47747876165329,76.41989881956155,6.026905087657896,25.35394062808234,6.892418011121327,0.9366072035381334,2336,84,480,23,53,736,241,593,0.091,0.871,0.038,-0.9776,6,0,0,0,0,1,118.0,0,0,3,9,23,17,5,1,34,0,34,9,9,3,6,76,71,51,0,6,9,3,1,2,2,1,0,1,1,2,19,42,0,0,4,9,10,19,15,9,0,5,35,4,68,8,89,32,11,102,0,0,2,0,15,36,0,5,44,319,87,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032990019928061665,0.0,0.037266766054646655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06193391493477566,0.443562508662146,0.497440891729645,0.025308372077676267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03690858660183522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993191068806281,0.0,0.031074070556129763,0.0,0.04110249870183183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0379445159924627,0.0,0.0,0.03205856213759913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04088037719097242,0.04800289187078485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03296261088517456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031356352590342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331236124645669,0.0,0.0,0.028753234553905032,0.0,0.019443989828275988,0.0,0.02115089086537387,0.031215281372890875,0.08929586655467471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837170428903111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04410151538486039,0.0,0.0,0.037331000849811405,0.0,0.0,0.08588526719090392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386290502279258,0.0,0.0,0.03875506763791145,0.020453114787632582,0.030336265929184914,0.0,0.03940670658273893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03636402568856822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031252333501004245,0.0,0.0,0.03163998224010033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0405394800560204,0.0,0.0,0.037505294632798995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866516712162307,0.0,0.02759542783358388,0.05740703668343537,0.2516062592164883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039052264720411616,0.0,0.07565621963916995,0.028304686463146562,0.0,0.0,0.12397294886984528,0.04030164511025091,0.0,0.025801108558415616,0.06499170581920878,0.0,0.0,0.07036289876142146,0.041955806086624164,0.07128588918105701,0.0,0.0,0.03561098963994201,0.0,0.037412678267549335,0.0,0.07916826934084684,0.0,0.042360316963246505,0.07152517783784361,0.038264572722292965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029595909401272574,0.0,0.0376649001583052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03078572238933974,0.04183270013252778,0.0,0.03793734889355288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03966764262841467,0.059441998402645586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278113387122826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04944973526799624,0.0,0.03656484295117867,0.0,0.06510340199751329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041348698068822895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799959657520158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02709392235826294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040690200831896006,0.497440891729645,0.09586435304862537
mentalhealth,Akari_Yumi,2019/03/23,"I'm dating a guy with RAD (Reactive attachment disorder) I need some advice I've been with this guy for a couple of years, and he means the world to me, I know he loves me but he can't do it, it's really weird for me. But I'm doing my best to understand him. Is there any advices I can have about this disorder? 

Is taking place in our relationship and damaging it, I also have issues but I expect things from him that he can't give me and when I have a breakdown I make things worse and that makes him depressed. We want to make this work. 

Anything about RAD that you guys could tell me will be welcomed, advice, info, therapy..anything. 

I apreciatte it before hand.",1.939418803418804,4.041919933333332,3.6688888888888895,87.25461538461538,79.2962962962963,7.116809116809117,21.49572649572649,8.139509932561175,1.1197521367521364,521,15,108,10,13,174,84,135,0.13699999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.129,-0.4814,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,1,0,2,5,6,0,0,4,0,14,2,1,3,0,22,27,9,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,12,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,20,3,12,23,2,6,0,2,0,1,18,3,0,1,3,74,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4190151223529221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143028416679511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719880838142356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352420706633516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162478854465895,0.0,0.14999854270172405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11411974414819312,0.15815177862880705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310730838621625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32762540570004905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711360591905322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42457609747459774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918409877391078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855180803193301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900190558124444,0.0,0.2862250926330933,0.0,0.0,0.15569508547423974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598242723663154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933374437425154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156603769654144,0.0,0.0,0.15345570932731595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746723846064946,0.0,0.12492905696523422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991562665801467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879747785620098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430512437022639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405635571973013,0.0,0.14566013936495964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920436610263201
mentalhealth,picklerick1215,2019/03/23,"how would I go about finding a job in the mental health sector? (uk/England) hi, for quite some time I have been considering finding a job in mental health. I have a genuine interest in psychology always reading and researching various things everyday an obsession I guess? 

how would one go about getting a recognised qualification in this field? the obvious one being going to college/university. I know this sounds like the lazy man's answer but I feel I've left it too late. I can't afford the tuition, and if I could I have alot of obligations at the moment so I couldn't ""attend"" somewhere to learn so to speak. I will have to do the work for the qualification in the spare time I have.

having been diagnosed with a disorder myself (adhd) now medicated,and battling a nasty drug addiction and staying clean for many years after ,my demons are now dead and I'd like to help others just feel i can understand more because I've lived it aswell. 

I'd like to specialise in drug/addiction councilling,  so is there anything that I can do? I've ran out of options that can help me get this,so I'm hoping someone can add their thoughts of maybe a path to achieving this that I might have missed? ",6.308440424204619,6.8084378384279525,6.660028072364316,76.44734716157207,65.81222707423579,9.686961946350593,32.951029320024965,9.606745405546679,3.0199142857142864,951,38,176,18,14,308,135,229,0.103,0.785,0.113,0.3094,3,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,3,12,8,1,1,17,0,25,5,0,2,1,32,40,11,1,6,3,0,2,3,0,4,5,2,1,1,10,7,0,0,9,1,1,5,2,3,0,2,4,4,19,5,25,29,4,24,1,1,0,0,6,9,0,7,12,117,29,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27616994716475224,0.15222828855920922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539651620829678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423557973083106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772146063609772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011327408951787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856363744461502,0.0,0.0,0.1451705640976302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937854093584024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809258356834144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231541423550824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235583710463344,0.0,0.21596214748510165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953721997369056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692807268064819,0.0,0.0,0.1698035139741904,0.0,0.0,0.12580822547784426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513935337246203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961249087822352,0.0,0.1428851138752998,0.0,0.13762331547165782,0.0,0.0,0.18564828141029172,0.0,0.11184867158094812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841975637701128,0.12725333261289265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25529969470366504,0.13437293705781594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166473840933574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472521140562052,0.12670058681493465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732395266355203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500943202552532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415146741745738,0.0,0.0,0.10055890067152368,0.14772028693427802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186409491372422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221458162256696,0.0,0.0,0.17996022351954086,0.0,0.0,0.08156895015055879
mentalhealth,WarIs_Hell,2019/03/23,"Cna anyone help me find out what's wrong with me? I can't stop hearing the noise of constant full automatic gunfire in my head. It doesn't go away. Sometimes it drowns out a bit when I'm busy or focusing on something but when I'm trying to sleep at night it gets very loud. 

The best way I can describe it is very rapid booms and cracks, like machine gun fire. I'm only 18 and I've never been deployed or even shot a gun for that matter, so I have no clue where this is coming from. The only thing the doctor has told me was that it could be some strange form of Tinnitus.

I want to find out what this is and if there is any way to stop it. Anything helps. Thank you.",0.8893158953722349,2.8139889577464783,2.160080482897385,97.64140845070429,81.95774647887325,4.902213279678068,19.29778672032193,5.773587663045528,-0.39235372233400456,520,13,122,3,14,166,100,142,0.121,0.723,0.156,0.6656,0,0,1,3,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,6,0,13,3,2,0,1,21,23,10,1,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,13,8,0,2,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,3,4,9,3,15,18,5,20,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,4,8,75,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113751407355012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696120309416128,0.0,0.1376514643166015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715853306125688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17554274190858224,0.0,0.18261884295368516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409091780923555,0.0,0.18076273794787348,0.0,0.13355391614380965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17121105060382574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048226933009504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057690673762731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739326262371003,0.0,0.0950651268822918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167040352806467,0.0,0.18852887993941853,0.0,0.2242391936132561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817211610148779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901128517431593,0.0,0.0,0.15697442233633896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544373782749365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739384864903462,0.0,0.0,0.1287749630752812,0.16543731970976236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27969551298744705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540025469655537,0.0,0.0,0.11112877910130303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983656383509232,0.0,0.1135674181806768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760355624929505,0.0986619764588118,0.2655471160791523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828868168991781,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lcassiebro,2019/03/23,How to therapy I’m 28 and have dealt with self diagnosed very mild anxiety. Over the past two years my anxiety has gotten progressively worse. I would like advice on seeking therapy. I’ve never seen a therapist outside of court ordered in my parents divorce when I was a teenager. I’ve gotten to a point where the appointment itself scares me.  What do we talk about? Do I tell everything? What do I say? I don’t want to be medicated I just need help. Any advice? Is it as scary as it seems? Is it worth it? It’s easy behind a computer but what about real life?,0.6156250000000014,3.1243550267857145,2.943571428571428,86.42642857142859,92.48214285714286,6.728571428571428,22.17857142857143,7.8658589789855275,1.6244178571428578,441,17,87,11,16,150,80,112,0.093,0.8290000000000001,0.078,-0.3896,1,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,1,6,0,11,3,0,1,1,12,18,6,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,1,9,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,4,2,10,1,13,12,0,10,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,1,5,57,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475445825765855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092971405007265,0.0,0.2720771626099869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804925365551971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982110131785512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919492775082187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560577374202667,0.0868781922189879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914385492607907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185783687557973,0.1371525696967563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19745789009741244,0.0,0.16975775632595638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681057398879164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20240815970752804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141663675415522,0.17803769845659756,0.0,0.0,0.16188870363024785,0.18551427057274947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293209127505654,0.15543025050334205,0.0,0.4067255692303275,0.20647299765919236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371294409050067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146727422614401,0.1048880614157378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181222787554922,0.126324510832525,0.0,0.0,0.11451594719510988
mentalhealth,27yearoldwannabe,2019/03/23,Where to get a labatomy in this day and age? Because I doubt that modern treatments will work on me.,2.1744999999999983,4.465879450000003,3.0599999999999987,90.935,79.5,6.0,25.0,7.1686216300943375,1.094,79,3,16,1,2,25,20,20,0.128,0.872,0.0,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,11,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4833633846577812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5113749046250373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41427372628840986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5772632198564392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spoopy_sammich,2019/03/23,"Help with how to Advocate I want to write some sort of long article or short book about my experiences with struggling with mental health for the majority of my life. The diagnoses and how mistreated I have been by mental health professionals. Any tips or advice? Should I include or keep hospitals/doctors names out of this? 

Has anyone else done this? I'm just stuck at this place where I feel so frustrated with mental health care in the US and my particular state but at the same time do not trust professionals any longer out of my experiences. 

I want to advocate for better mental health services but at the same time do not want to write anything that gets me involuntaryly hospitalized. It seems like a VERY tight line to walk. So any advice is appreciated. ",7.1054206349206375,8.21049990714286,6.996666666666666,72.60611111111113,64.21428571428572,10.793650793650794,30.555555555555557,10.746095033038511,3.2901746031746035,617,21,111,16,9,196,87,140,0.064,0.8009999999999999,0.134,0.8575,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,1,7,6,1,1,6,0,8,6,0,2,0,33,18,11,0,4,8,0,2,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,8,0,2,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,2,11,4,23,14,4,14,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,6,4,71,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23891188309675296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24939142044909995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547621887453018,0.12525396889207674,0.10059683365990243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811535417059286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463644721425228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407562642358055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512245811433026,0.0,0.12509859829902667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211962013928803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23915721773059945,0.0,0.0,0.06181050825239585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638677223435336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5197608830366951,0.0,0.0,0.08193793277803436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865655655024167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634492792279251,0.05972250336690602,0.0,0.0,0.10818256372185292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4927749428333074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771951717875552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128683045396544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779652664078087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425635389690766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704512003358247,0.0,0.0,0.1008645411154262,0.2163089760866558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sarcatt,2019/03/23,"Is there any way that my friend may have some sort of mental illness? This is a bit awkward, but I have a concern about a friend. I’ve known him for a really long time. He is your average guy (friendly to everyone) however he’s recently confessed that he is involuntarily sexually aroused by violence, such as videos of animal abuse, murder, torture including violent/weird pornography or just violence in general. He says that he can not help It and that it makes him feel guilty. He has a history of emotionally abusing people that he’s been in relationships with (has never hit a women) and seems to lack a pretty abnormal amount of empathy when dealing with personal relationships closest to him, should I talk him into seeing a therapist into getting help? Is this a mental illness?",8.323723776223776,8.530437902097905,9.12250874125874,61.496070804195824,61.587412587412594,13.303846153846154,40.252622377622366,12.602617957971056,5.706287412587413,632,32,100,22,8,215,96,143,0.303,0.637,0.061,-0.993,1,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,5,6,2,1,9,0,13,3,1,1,1,22,19,6,1,2,4,0,1,0,3,2,2,1,0,3,9,6,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,3,8,3,17,15,4,11,1,0,1,1,26,5,0,5,5,68,17,0,0.0,0.3823564657991172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097263263580708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761568953475144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634900008540224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18150165358258796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418076466153893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158548504171398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739853502424431,0.0,0.08430086166949986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597659347582339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163045144917465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279330786705496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770511987788996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252139795008071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444623508464578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11186262195733704,0.14088818319485136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641551354604359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10336757315150706,0.0,0.15931771552749407,0.3464678533317572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831526278580382,0.0,0.0,0.12857833331337593,0.14689071968583642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296903198480605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187344555498584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408687782149544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807538033973054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tanitbus,2019/03/23,"Psychosis and Art I have been painting and drawing as a hobby for years. Painted loads growing up and always doodled, it was just a part of my life.

After a psycotic episode I have seemed to have hit this wall. For almost two years. No matter how hard I try to break through it, there is no avail. No ideas for doodles. No paintings come out complete or close to the quality they used to. 

I am on medication, assuming it might be part of the problem with my lack of creativity. Not an option to get off the medication. Has any one else experienced anything like this? ",3.292110091743119,5.543606513761471,4.1417339449541295,84.78250917431194,75.60550458715595,6.5618348623853215,29.24862385321101,7.554174236665415,1.8424341284403682,446,20,85,6,10,143,80,109,0.127,0.8029999999999999,0.07,-0.6714,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,7,0,10,3,0,2,0,21,15,6,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,1,0,2,5,1,0,2,2,2,7,1,19,10,3,12,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,6,4,65,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028841070049731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685873011685326,0.0,0.0,0.1377813803644688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673032188112194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453010925640167,0.212432163679994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692542052940189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585508029161768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814982793297488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22872141828322906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310905325351006,0.09898474780603037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082154300853983,0.0,0.21493661862499974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729341346082302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4388126013958269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19386988991930887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444804262378509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755852349613218,0.0,0.19792000181241312,0.0,0.0,0.17498952075027574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609476984581918
mentalhealth,Xemtal,2019/03/23,"What is wrong with my depression? I’ll admit, slightly misleading title. I haven’t been what I felt to be real depression as a mental illness in a few years now. But over the past few years certain thing have been getting worse and worse relating to it. 

I’ve been missing it. 

I don’t understand it, I don’t like it, and I feel awful about it. But for whatever fucked up reason when I’m alone at night or thinking by myself I find myself missing the days being unable to get out of bed, feeling ashamed over screwing up every relationship I had, and never getting sleep. It’s gotten to a point where in some nights I’ll stay up and feel melancholic about the whole thing. What the hell? This is incredible fucked up and something is definitely wrong. I don’t understand how or why I could possibly be having these feelings. ",4.547666666666668,6.087539100000001,5.245000000000001,81.20666666666669,70.5,8.083333333333334,28.958333333333336,8.59863814320734,2.217833333333333,656,25,122,11,12,212,97,160,0.3,0.6409999999999999,0.059,-0.9922,0,1,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,6,14,4,1,7,1,17,5,1,2,2,28,35,12,0,1,4,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,13,7,0,0,11,0,0,0,5,12,0,0,6,5,12,2,21,25,4,22,1,5,0,3,2,12,4,3,10,88,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449528861701835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139123949051928,0.0,0.0,0.08997552370577476,0.0,0.2403278376382401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754726166970905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821715604051367,0.0,0.1339561158400505,0.0,0.12751402727954328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25795842481777864,0.2186722215534243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815989886997774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059813460443915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760243786754736,0.0,0.0,0.2618504342998785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318269185903536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188660971836974,0.15728200856329866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879842045226356,0.0,0.14344448160888354,0.0,0.1497867156683177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396155861429498,0.0,0.0,0.10740533236670877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870424595553725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18537490782124147,0.08939546983092356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29047971698818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12589043411281114,0.15576332555770125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28435506212062484,0.0,0.3050751308398733,0.0,0.17968595295224085
mentalhealth,Collapsing-Stars,2019/03/23,"I don’t want to exist I can’t make it stop. I ruined my life. The friend I was in love with now hates me and thinks I’m a freak that’s obsessed with him and has completely cut me out of his life. I sent too many emotionally overwhelming texts at once and now he thinks I’m a psycho and refuses to be in the same room with me. I have nothing to look forward to. I’m not going to hurt myself because I don’t have it in me, but I don’t know what to do because the crying hasn’t stopped for two weeks now and the painful thoughts never go away. He would never have loved me back but he was my favorite person and I would always get so excited to be around him. I keep fantasizing about killing myself so he would regret cutting me out of his life and realize how much he hurt me. I hate myself for ruining everything. Everything was fine before, if I had just had self control and not shared my extreme emotional thoughts things would be normal now. I would be happy and looking forward to seeing him at the campus club we used to host together. He’s the only person I’ve met in my life that’s as passionate and interested in the exact things I’m interested in, who has the same offensive sense of humor, who’s confident and brilliant and someone I learned so much from. I destroyed it just like I destroy everything in my life. Now I can’t make the pain stop. ",4.059954725523486,4.8396315017921125,5.19347292963592,83.9821392190153,70.89964157706093,8.45432937181664,28.662705149971703,8.6894789155246,2.016221505376344,1075,39,224,18,19,356,136,279,0.205,0.626,0.16899999999999998,-0.9018,0,0,0,0,0,3,18.0,1,0,0,1,15,30,8,2,11,0,26,10,0,5,3,56,52,20,1,9,7,0,0,1,1,5,7,0,1,3,10,19,0,6,7,1,0,5,10,18,0,1,9,3,38,12,33,34,4,31,0,6,3,3,24,16,0,1,15,155,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221134991474546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795491024220488,0.0,0.0,0.09282792450368592,0.07597279738792252,0.0,0.12045781493434073,0.0,0.08407339981463481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359223275057827,0.0,0.11081507486995118,0.0,0.0,0.10852958342559801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222783657081602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663911546926928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633433893469402,0.0,0.05162007450020208,0.0,0.11230314064745103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517678504988676,0.0,0.19509344583514496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115396090791721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781993999863963,0.10931000169970474,0.0,0.05429910828092584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489345986157903,0.04826976694982125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659379374166274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834569604697592,0.0,0.13190247886069706,0.10016992882963767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452619788443376,0.0,0.15240470379825927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680518376504683,0.09480338095560344,0.0,0.0,0.10522112437796607,0.0,0.0751435295346498,0.21026502560199614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725405498517603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873256587541659,0.0,0.10307224837092746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371478815504048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478092037818121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312795903049268,0.12661692774339253,0.0,0.1568758298198472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651539832090532,0.0,0.0,0.08533338289479511,0.0,0.0,0.058276100722658236,0.0,0.07925316965189527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509312603194028,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yungtwizz,2019/03/23,Kind of needing help What would be the best way to discuss suicidal thoughts with a therapist or school counselor without being placed in some of institution or under watch? Could it at the very least be something along the lines of just a biweekly check up or something,12.063061224489793,9.510879897959184,9.85887755102041,68.01647959183674,56.14285714285714,13.06530612244898,46.94897959183673,11.20814326018867,5.24344081632653,221,11,37,4,2,66,40,49,0.081,0.794,0.125,0.34,0,0,2,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,12,7,3,1,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,11,1,3,7,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,4,1,30,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782148164426746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21166741422154908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769651257599314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27606950987218903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965744533826705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27698175949880177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683037641228748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081866595550765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899854633422433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078111822161551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210466385996246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21874212090927828,0.0,0.21043063744360666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555549513286546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18832533775878885,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Malforked,2019/03/23,"Subhuman There are many states of being a person will never find themselves in. When these states overlap with one's fundamental needs in life, life itself becomes a parody, a discount version of what some other people measurably experience by default.

A pretty face. Proper height. A healthy body. Skin. Voice. Eyes. Hair. Other... Other.

You can train your brain and your personality with hard work but you cant change genetics. And yet its a huge factor in how you re seen. I ve spent the last years of my life on the mental realm. Selling my youth.I worked ceaselessly putting aside my toys and joy, i donated, i helped people, family, homeless, worked on culture in many forms and i ve tried hard to be able to buy life as i fundamentally and immutably wanted it to be. What that is in specific isnt important.

There are things you cannot ever buy though.

There are things you cannot ever be even if its effortless to some other people. This just isnt you.

I ve been trying to find my peace with that  but i feel thats an unreachable state.

Its been years now. Depravity has become me. And eventually I will probably fade away with that bitter black flavour still defining me.

Its funny how an atheist at heart, im now ripe for religious exploitation as theres no hope for this world and can only dream of another chance, even though that's not a real option. Maybe specific drugs is an answer.

Thanks for reading.


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mentalhealth,twerking-dog,2019/03/23,"does anyone else remember a specific moment where your mentality changed? i remember exactly when it happened for me, it felt like someone flicked a switch inside and made me a completely different person. so my mental health is in shambles. I currently am diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, major depressive disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, illness anxiety disorder, i have been treated for hypomanic episodes, but i have no official bipolar diagnosis. those are my written diagnosises but I believe I likely have a lot more, as I am much worse than I show to my phsyciatrist. I can point my finger directly to the exact day that everything seemed to shift inside me. a lot was going on, I was trialing different meds. I was watching my favorite show one night when I felt myself dissociate completely. I didn't recognize any of the characters or anything in my house. everything was fake and meaningless. like a pointless movie. I had experienced depersonalization and derealitization before in my life but never this brutally. I slept it off and woke up the next morning a zombie. I dragged myself out of bed to have a coffee, decided that it was going to be an unproductive day, and climbed back into bed. I opened an article on my phone, it was something about being ""woke"".
I don't know if I was already in some weird state of psychosis possibly, or if my brain was just so far out beyond its limits that things werent processed properly, idk, but as I read the article I felt like my entire view of life was changing in a weird way that I just KNEW no one but me would ever understand. it was the weirdest feeling. I laid in bed for hours feeling my brain rearranging itself. the way I saw everything changed and no matter how much I tried to reverse it I couldn't. for some reason, this poorly written article that was considered ""woke"" just left me scarred. I couldn't unsee it, and I couldn't understand what about it I couldn't unsee because it wasn't really anything horrible, just interesting, and almost comical in parts. to this day I'm not sure if I was just in such a fucked up mental state that I read this article and interpreted it in some weird far off way or if this article truly just opened my third eye or some shit and truly made me ""woke"" because I still don't see life the same since that day. I am not spiritual at all so I am 99.9% sure I'm just pretty mentally ill, lol. since that day, I have not felt anything real. it's weird. I really don't know how to explain. I just know that that was the day that things changed and I haven't felt myself come back since. I was going through a very intense time in my life, so I have absolutely no idea what happened. I just know I lost myself that day and haven't been able to find my way back. ",6.4401609669473565,7.140004109640834,7.279965629833303,71.42057512745605,65.55954631379961,11.100211949361286,34.74485879589849,10.959497528513188,4.0463630749842485,2230,99,397,62,33,745,233,529,0.159,0.762,0.08,-0.9897,4,0,1,0,0,0,59.0,0,1,0,3,27,20,3,2,21,1,44,16,6,5,7,96,81,35,0,9,25,0,8,4,0,1,9,0,3,1,36,19,0,1,24,5,1,5,19,12,0,3,36,14,67,8,45,38,13,60,0,2,5,1,4,28,2,16,25,285,103,2,0.062198635152610725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228294853110659,0.0,0.06863774055794784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422972047858568,0.0,0.09516357129319256,0.0,0.0,0.04349073188900595,0.0637298520084911,0.15355253119026532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434807334192085,0.0,0.07583142136434412,0.0,0.05292645736892752,0.07007656245261229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13886849430797618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631916349870305,0.053578616740435084,0.13042817115791489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28079081876111833,0.0,0.05357159331639074,0.06313030540891558,0.0,0.12996867085962516,0.3564251226096521,0.0,0.05443044477125536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05195897851546514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626222643460146,0.0,0.0,0.1677003680520592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289899758607949,0.0,0.2986022189750961,0.0,0.05684842570620211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057501635943134385,0.0,0.0,0.10604675317601478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000409530261322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611424062792033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125312666437688,0.07176887401750327,0.0,0.07021468824340624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367309729801574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757899908406184,0.0,0.17573094176184584,0.1215484454445993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678971577004615,0.10575811072501606,0.0,0.11770770496296434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908866197596858,0.0,0.2507263798348662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144630700770814,0.0,0.04797142185392205,0.0,0.06614895411293269,0.05836920563962724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842948097854779,0.0,0.0,0.07297669690699185,0.0,0.06735506065752933,0.0,0.0,0.05430944910206242,0.0,0.0,0.058797814594790276,0.07011961561790735,0.0,0.06327837276317792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443093397324652,0.0707956638178504,0.07969207673167923,0.06395055610494008,0.0,0.0,0.14091785745724075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956425933219071,0.05662330142557182,0.0,0.0,0.06384600516575055,0.15435406122360107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270070172260696,0.04788354809085641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04967191037812736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724295508144852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826440188573711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03626852434566141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222879044298235,0.0,0.0,0.12950194549310065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05132038796893646,0.0,0.19748152590392895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338572299857144,0.04418412584639106,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ImaPOSYouraPOS,2019/03/23,"Why am I such a piece of shit/Confessions of a piece of shit 23 Years Old
I have no friends.
I don't trust people.
I used to be obese 276 pounds and I was afraid of people. I was afraid to talk to girls because I thought they would think I was creepy. I was afraid of sharing too much personal information to any guy in fear that I'd come across as not ""bro"" enough because I like to talk about things that aren't conversations that just boil down FAVORITE MARVEL MOVIE OR FAVORITE VIDEO GAME. 

Now I'm 170 pounds and that was in September where I've been hitting the gym since then and went up and down the scale where I've fallen back at 170 again having a better body than the last time I was 170.

In order to get to that point though I had to obsessively walk everyday, which ended up being 10 miles a day and I ate a ridiculous deficit. In that time I isolated and only talked to my roommates who were a great support. My isolation was whack, in order for me to get in the zone I needed music and I ended up taking a social dive and I guess have the reputation as the dude who blasted music (I don't do it anymore, I have these wireless buds I love now, I used over ear headphones cause of the sound quality, I really love music and people have this problem in public when they feel their fake sense of personal space is being invaded by someones music when radios are a thing but don't worry it's just ""abnormal"" and it's classified as obnoxious or something) I still have those lingering feelings from when I was 270. Like I feel like the 270 me hasn't left completely if that makes sense. I still get those feelings around girls and guys and I think my insecurities are very obvious or it's very obvious that I'm insecure about something. 

But yeah, I still don't really trust people, I honestly think when I'm talking that I might talk too much or share stuff that people wouldn't care about, so I end up just using monosyllables or few information. I know exactly what I do. I have adhd and depression. I'm on vyvanse and wellbutrin which have helped tremendously with school and overall well being. I'm completely aware of the changes I have made in my life but I feel like the biggest ones, have yet to happen. I have no idea how I appear to people through my reactions, like I try to be so conscious of my facial emotes, I'm pretty obsessed with just trying to look normal because I'm afraid that I have a dead eye look, which I probably do because I wasn't smiling that much (I'm trying to get better, I smile to strangers when I push myself and make eye contact and try to smirk). I don't even know where I've ended up going, I'm just an idiiot haha can't even make sense of what I'm typing. I'm just trying so hard to be what I think should be ""normal"" or ""best"". I get fed up with it and I start to resent people. Then there's the people that want to be my friend and those are the ones I really don't trust or the ones I'm most afraid to disappoint because I'd let them down. I've had many occasions where I could have initiated a hangout, I say I want friends and I know I have the opportunity to do it but I don't because I guess I think the people that I have the opportunity don't really offer me much of anything 

Idk there's a whole lot but the sad thing is I only have a college counselor. I haven't found a therapist yet that takes my out of state health insurance. I'm just boned I feel, I have no one I can get insight form outside of someone I see like every 2 weeks, when I need more help (students are only allowed 8 sessions a semester because mental health care here blows). I'm not expecting much to read this and I cant give a tldr because I don't know how, maybe I just want someone to say something to me. My 2 close friends barely talk to me in a group chat we're in where I'm the only one ever saying anything (we were great high school friends and now they are graduated from college and i started late), My relationship with my family is shit and that's a novel right there, I can't even explain it. I'm just a cocktail of shit. Fucking christ I don't like feeling sorry for myself, why is it that when I say this stuff I feel guilty or ashamed, I started typing this to not feel sorry for myself, I just want to layout the facts. I need someone sane to ground me or something or slap me in the face hit me with the criticism, the truths.",3.9438619872117258,4.7918836915367535,4.933542639557442,85.48888210359942,71.21603563474387,7.9316330196134786,26.62195560025864,8.155646560271837,1.5079949852719303,3457,109,727,48,62,1132,346,898,0.117,0.7440000000000001,0.139,0.9541,1,1,4,0,1,0,70.0,1,0,5,5,55,55,6,11,41,2,76,20,10,11,6,127,159,58,1,16,29,1,10,7,6,4,4,6,0,6,46,34,5,0,26,9,0,7,24,22,1,5,20,21,104,33,88,123,15,86,1,3,5,3,50,40,4,17,43,473,150,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736510240569252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032459687722428125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047337742297084415,0.0,0.0,0.07855944203498194,0.04249198060925037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03670329063549034,0.0,0.2327779596308011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009223812508999,0.08443090691871058,0.0,0.05301996678632073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973327826945009,0.049034351858613344,0.05049457952414695,0.04111726003642946,0.10009308481323004,0.0,0.0,0.03811045957968452,0.0,0.0,0.03078346712931338,0.0,0.041111870125857916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053692556672036894,0.16910705320196415,0.04932035760530672,0.0,0.09458045517083627,0.04317671368313117,0.0402166291088567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0449978848577304,0.05371225168602939,0.21721454727695533,0.06820011192326586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052336143365462696,0.18438977658557915,0.04412786035608198,0.14962934067038353,0.045789294176976164,0.02712743871609107,0.0,0.0,0.10525034033165433,0.10516530125848488,0.09452521601809101,0.04220962826963221,0.0,0.042758879709416456,0.0,0.0,0.10147467737656993,0.0,0.0,0.06398808040325034,0.050431930668640386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053884100981318406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492997604427312,0.03890829942374905,0.05384425764280686,0.0,0.051861422473864986,0.04880964140204156,0.03371482537461354,0.16323757217393478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801664352749566,0.0,0.0,0.0405804031924572,0.0861607593857217,0.04516557731137707,0.09558529862562498,0.048393189893979616,0.047953639404971306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048103060441100236,0.05063656280860791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544413300285233,0.1061789712071253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353528939071028,0.0,0.0,0.0500871535232521,0.0,0.1617236420297097,0.14521064900660074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29782489830455394,0.08335622966837339,0.0,0.0,0.045122572760323325,0.0,0.0,0.04856103919573819,0.051463630368727815,0.04567348700467161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047745344878347605,0.0,0.12231446204346096,0.0,0.0,0.05124676410066318,0.0,0.04076323254033487,0.0,0.15183496972117988,0.0,0.09661553050371266,0.03803656502271549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598660483567135,0.039484757534001116,0.0,0.0,0.048657199061323306,0.16177412472803904,0.1469870196803913,0.0,0.1068650900336493,0.10135577423455283,0.0,0.11435753551186754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928441990797808,0.0,0.05416619341881053,0.0,0.0,0.07177769067158822,0.2301931043869433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05542102765872695,0.09513391219886448,0.1529250619339902,0.0468968679681219,0.037894215913635065,0.05566632501479631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16203592620538906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367647609334224,0.0,0.07876850376753758,0.1126152904969568,0.0,0.03828807440990396,0.0,0.04291718503126582,0.044248438786421054,0.08614218358048832,0.05329155102156175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04847459742365957,0.0,0.03390774720276275,0.0,0.0,0.030738118537617612
mentalhealth,ICUP134,2019/03/23,"Question Hi, I know this may make me sound like a crazy person, but I just want to know if this is normal. I have these thoughts in my mind that threaten to alter the minds of people into thinking I did something terrible to make them hate me and threaten to do other bad things to me if I don't do the things it says (the thought usually tells me to do stuff not that hard like arranging pencils in a certain way or sleep in a certain position or typing in a certain way). My question is, why does this happen and does anyone else experience these things? I also have these weird voices that claim they are other people and they are speaking to me telepathically. Do other people experience that?",9.148444444444447,7.013372103703707,8.83092592592593,71.82416666666667,61.2962962962963,11.074074074074074,37.31481481481481,9.2995712137729,3.341148148148146,554,20,102,7,6,179,76,135,0.165,0.73,0.105,-0.9188,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,0,2,9,1,0,7,0,13,1,1,2,3,28,23,9,0,4,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,0,1,18,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,5,16,5,13,19,0,8,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,7,3,78,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516997567533326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069971390435437,0.14756196517456632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024779602368088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520596907930057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030734007013802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817516230916119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735335143992765,0.0,0.12901053285817893,0.14218651823965892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15829544897181272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071841459265375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226431863047405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2908313034882763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110563241302684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995288081276363,0.12574968848163434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32266297094157503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145277336740016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412054786009687,0.0,0.0,0.11087096914764856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648644836024592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587680447722902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28703457127656845,0.09227998423508432,0.0,0.22866609324118156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586138732279457,0.0,0.08494468712537091,0.2286272533958905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995252776510985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OnlyHereToSeekHelp,2019/03/23,"Suicidal for a while now 

Ive been feeling suicidal for two three years now ever sunce I came United States. I had consulted with my college counselor in last year and she suggested me to get help from the medical center. So I went there and explained my situation to them. All they did is locked me in a room without explainig me what was going on. Then I was transfered to another facility where I stayed up for 2 days and then discharged with some prescription which never helped. They never even considered asking me what was going on in my head. Why was I not feeling good. I am not able to sleep because of these thoughts. I just feel like everything is pointless, even my existence.  Now that I am graduated, I cant even ask for help from my college because of my visa conditions. I cant ask for help from my parents since they are the ones counting me. Where do I go, who do I speak with. Please help!


",3.576101694915259,5.543398361581922,4.412000000000003,84.4478305084746,73.85875706214689,7.8838418079096035,28.749152542372883,8.648137234880735,2.2403328813559327,718,30,140,14,15,231,107,177,0.064,0.815,0.121,0.742,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,4,0,12,2,0,0,4,0,17,3,2,0,4,21,31,7,2,0,4,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,6,7,0,0,5,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,10,4,31,2,24,21,2,30,0,0,0,0,19,10,0,1,14,108,37,5,0.12951083805864827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580340596248552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632254527204101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578972096088264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481258966581613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835237763835173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566220612757993,0.11714996765945633,0.0,0.0,0.11639599034006733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19645371326319505,0.09252256858658736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766406752292839,0.0,0.22081198154149229,0.10862754636350128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291548372585762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4340419238970577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556861859909136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632724536303398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046854411288422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977348480147866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775989563537355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380645908977233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216400881364627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713270357018646,0.14557560826932142,0.12960436923701954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380413214051978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28332767275310383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281713891757373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265132701225083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005784439393068,0.11686338722569167,0.0,0.0,0.12484382628350325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668014670603016
mentalhealth,wittle-bitty,2019/03/23,"How do you cope when the internet makes you want to die? TLDR: below.

This all started because I recently quit a job that I got back in 2015. I think most of us can agree that things were somewhat different before 2016. I've been perusing the internet hardcore since 2003, it's not like I'm new here, and I remember the birth of high speed internet, Wifi, and social media. I know that a part of how I felt at the time was because of my age. You don't realize how awful the world can be until you've been around long enough to collect experiences that help jade you. However, I don't remember everything and everyone being so aggressive and heated ALL THE TIME.

Going back to the job I just quit. I quit the job I had in manufacturing to move to an entry level position pertaining to the degree I'm working on. Like most people these days, I had most of my coworkers, past and present, on my Facebook, Instagram, etc. It's only been two weeks since I quit, and I've already had to delete every single one of the people I called my friends for 6 years because of how they were acting online, (if they hadn't already deleted me first). I should probably note that I left my job on good terms with the company, and as far as I know, good terms with everyone I said goodbye to. I'm not under the impression they acted the way they did for work related reasons. It was almost like a switch. Once they no longer had to look at me for 8-12 hours a day and weren't forced to socialize with me, they began talking to me like a stranger and being horribly judgmental and mean. It was like they felt empowered to say all the things they couldn't say while they were forced to be around me. As if because there's a screen splitting us now, their words somehow don't matter?

Of course, 90% of this activity was spurred on by politics and lifestyle choices they don't agree with. Like most online spats that tear apart friendships and families, no one was personally engaged. These were just nasty comments and thoughts sent my way because of something I posted they suddenly decided they didn't like, and they were going to tell me about it.

This brings me to my question for everyone attempting to protect their mental health. Other than becoming a hermit and completely distancing yourself from society, which often leads people into a deeper depression, how do you guys keep the internet from worming it's way into your brain and making you want to kill yourself.

It's easy to say, ""Just log off."" Let me tell you, I have tried. I would have succeeded too, if it weren't for the fact that my grandmother, mom, dad, and older sibling (living on the other side of the country), have all become just as dependent on social networking for communication as the teenagers they used to condemn for it. They claim they're too busy to take texts or calls the old fashioned way. My mom has said on multiple occasions the thing she used to hate hearing me say, ""Well, it's just so much easier to contact me on facebook while I'm at work, school, etc.""

Today it started messing with my identity. Have I become a worse person in the last several years? Have I become just as angry and intolerant as everyone around me seems to have suddenly become? I try to keep my head down for the most part, and don't often offer unsolicited advice online or in personal conversation. Sometimes I know my jokes have gone too far, while other times I feel like the audience is being a bit touchy. I feel like I can't win with anyone anymore, though, no matter what I say. This has evolved into me not saying anything at all, which is coming off as rude and cold. I just can't tell what is my fault, and what is hair trigger responses to all the dirty laundry people are constantly airing publicly.

​

TLDR; Suddenly started having serious identity issues and anxiety after leaving a job and everyone I knew, who I thought I was close to, acting differently towards me online. I'm contemplating if I'm the problem and have somehow become a toxic person because of personal experiences, or if everyone is just more quick to aggressively defend themselves because of the increasingly tense social/political climate.",7.821066160977665,7.388978453855881,7.911005056890016,71.88882532659082,62.817951959544885,11.275431942688579,36.0267593763169,10.712014347399686,3.879230425621575,3331,136,589,74,42,1083,353,791,0.104,0.833,0.063,-0.9822,9,0,1,0,0,1,96.0,2,8,17,12,35,28,5,0,40,1,60,5,4,13,7,117,104,53,2,11,19,3,5,9,1,2,1,9,0,6,36,38,0,3,19,1,0,12,18,10,1,4,34,17,86,18,97,61,24,97,0,1,2,0,65,38,0,22,51,415,122,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04804003939770274,0.0,0.0,0.04922813122438164,0.0,0.1085018541613892,0.0,0.0,0.053266454256312865,0.05973659177024555,0.0,0.0,0.037608405557922026,0.0,0.048754988342087455,0.03437485711530018,0.0,0.04045571772877246,0.1312924477619504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560430304509029,0.0,0.20977871752439733,0.3257700220260668,0.04183280737420337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053671614749384734,0.0,0.0,0.05488048191320821,0.10039875646587597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042348270881904036,0.05154488729697159,0.05312610613047626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634101884960891,0.0,0.042342719602642964,0.0,0.051021865386429416,0.10272658785479014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05079696122775202,0.10965611398984043,0.0,0.0,0.04142067593876629,0.2818554648010183,0.044183177576661584,0.09617874182817586,0.04634507784272513,0.0,0.04971505331837524,0.07024195705997334,0.09440548057711813,0.0,0.0,0.041816738578761226,0.0,0.0,0.03798204549515967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055879215787406594,0.08246865131132386,0.03931893482164469,0.0,0.0,0.048677604606411205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853679378724581,0.050453872190869525,0.05225636534863291,0.0554085725743412,0.0,0.0329519107028175,0.051941813709395386,0.0,0.0,0.04841416516804138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05131182337070708,0.24392596715691506,0.08739398291676298,0.05438990519307637,0.0,0.08105360823929403,0.040073176133120524,0.0,0.05205491992332119,0.05341410311140026,0.05027095467720637,0.0,0.2161603884861877,0.0,0.04341049666056225,0.04350637193912716,0.04128327025746164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563135310960708,0.0,0.0,0.053551275177448364,0.0,0.0,0.04954321936830136,0.0,0.0,0.1151546866636988,0.0,0.05225088407421266,0.03613935200187418,0.0,0.0,0.04748047372604061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158671427101217,0.05235538276678968,0.06662619634298916,0.0373895287138558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647420659665832,0.04693020527901614,0.1363295496030658,0.2146295856389109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047083118265560414,0.0,0.05300440149684455,0.04704090686201567,0.0,0.0,0.05507212032920823,0.20915718558479304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05054619991591841,0.04854104083564268,0.0,0.1113807702167324,0.0,0.0935276703844316,0.2345711419511425,0.0,0.04975405284234722,0.0,0.04475477443948559,0.0,0.05553849083521994,0.0,0.08133378567904125,0.0,0.0,0.20045579344324227,0.0,0.03784691708563508,0.04862197101361045,0.0,0.1043902677106177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03696332252130646,0.039514143740316574,0.1289079283426312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798212916627597,0.031500697963214475,0.04830091466375285,0.07805746389453874,0.08599938111044235,0.0,0.04659934455096239,0.0,0.0,0.06675484980727238,0.0,0.04802363262940305,0.0,0.11827043959621672,0.084919486474858,0.0,0.0,0.057993441479127016,0.15608841104775828,0.039434382184526336,0.0,0.044202083883570636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737045145907992,0.0,0.050099758651720665,0.034922912233585075,0.0,0.05973659177024555,0.06331677592708312
mentalhealth,gcwjr85,2019/03/23,"Would You Prevent or Assist a Potential Mass Shooting? Lets say that someone has decided to shoot up their school or workplace and they've had a final moment of sanity.  They have no friends or family and they don't trust the police or medical professionals so they take to reddit and post how they're feeling, what they're about to do, and ask someone to talk them out of it.  Based on what we all know about the toxicity of the internet, is that shooting going to take place?  Most certainly.  It's probably going to be worse because they cried out for help.  We are in a kind of apocalypse.  When someone is on the edge, asking for help, people are more likely to tell them to do a backflip as they jump rather than say anything useful.  This is why it happens- there is no help for these people.  We are pushing them to do it.",3.8363449593884416,5.621731478260873,4.777888198757768,82.86585762064023,72.72670807453416,7.9352126134734835,26.67032967032967,8.617729084823388,1.9519809842331584,652,23,125,12,13,212,98,161,0.08800000000000001,0.7979999999999999,0.114,0.5501,0,0,0,3,0,0,16.0,3,1,9,0,8,5,0,0,8,0,17,1,0,2,2,24,27,12,0,2,5,0,1,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,10,9,0,1,3,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,1,3,13,5,26,23,3,16,0,0,0,0,23,8,0,5,4,92,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950214272259042,0.0,0.2942395075499213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593132209797882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728636108904276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148354477987907,0.0,0.07957102594818771,0.0,0.0,0.17239119808006514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158371060394825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17887405252930438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916181588986648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.316445482793896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387669078727432,0.08648646414464425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092153873167708,0.0,0.07688305758130709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853376965881244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21820115648876906,0.0,0.16441820821181874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071700723071604,0.0,0.16967153106983393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25029396097742984,0.0,0.15926689264085048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000173991820817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366453859871053,0.12648808547969612,0.13754836045856025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591719631728102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200199318509005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037352590751644,0.11179116867195577,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fweafdwasdaw,2019/03/23,"I want somewhat an explanation before I go to my therapist about something My entire life I've struggled with pretty bad social anxiety. Not helped by the fact I was constantly told I was annoying as a kid by everyone in my life. Anyways, a couple of days ago I was in the shower, curled up with my hands around my head. Part of me was saying ""you're weird, why are doing this, you're making this up,"" part of me was saying, ""stop saying i'm weird, let me live my life."" To put this into perspective, even when I'm alone I have a little voice in my head (not literally) telling me how the way I'm sitting, standing, doing something, is weird and how nobody could ever love me because of it. Also, recently I've started writing in a journal, I've become much more aware that I kind of have two states, one where I over think but overall I'm good, and another where I've wrote stuff about how I'm my personality/social skills/actions are so weird that I have something missing, or some kind of mental disorder. I've wrote about how I feel like a larger brain is suppressing a smaller brain, something I don't believe right now. I've noticed I switch back and fourth between the belief that I'm missing something or a larger brain is suppressing a smaller brain, and very much not believing that, or even that something like that is possible. When I'm in the mood or whatever I'm in right now I find it relatively simple to talk to people, however in the other mood I can barely speak out of fear, I'm super self conscious, how I used to be. I want to talk to my therapist but I'm afraid I'm just over thinking everything and it's somewhat normal and not indicative of any kind of serious problem.",6.180587224738402,5.928341017804158,6.908970794939872,77.11993909105108,66.12166172106825,9.82470716851476,33.1671091675777,9.414487439383343,2.918789910979229,1341,52,257,23,19,445,165,337,0.109,0.82,0.071,-0.7383,2,1,6,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,1,23,23,1,3,15,0,21,11,7,7,2,51,47,22,0,5,11,0,2,2,0,0,3,5,1,2,14,11,0,3,6,0,0,2,5,13,0,2,8,7,30,8,39,36,8,37,1,2,0,1,16,19,0,7,14,164,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507585412864945,0.0,0.0,0.08771712998658078,0.0,0.06772952057298286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759461966014175,0.08880872808824469,0.06479044799628106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539534830783098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512422677948608,0.07071570109210389,0.05162849287416427,0.09353753661230473,0.07206809995022086,0.19084159258192548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3781847123438673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152380074157322,0.0,0.06762102714403265,0.09371196715660468,0.0,0.05462042938596252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970663166890236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187877898331423,0.07661029964365777,0.0,0.08092845896082443,0.07611723567175108,0.0,0.0,0.0953039577398393,0.04282367902696197,0.060505195561163086,0.0,0.0,0.07740850662361831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048133380966802336,0.07103705654152959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17384033882313624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676840124160153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26458636379193623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660504550560118,0.17946499309824926,0.08275412667463079,0.0848853363334277,0.07478608796767865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643937010245552,0.0,0.05653370180802352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535132852432555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451922764396495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829818429451032,0.0,0.0964243377738333,0.0,0.0,0.05739064240176424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343004557375966,0.0,0.05871594702619117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954794202755236,0.0,0.08616393992130987,0.0,0.08104043190683266,0.0,0.08514056015429812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362481033936267,0.0,0.0,0.14465591254941867,0.0,0.20205548664655346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835399917295772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633456050559599,0.0,0.3912080839715164,0.0,0.0,0.05994663614056475,0.0,0.0,0.07080772478218694,0.0,0.08854024327511116,0.09695402268195928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614717439597887,0.07402602604115863,0.0,0.0,0.1966718248477224,0.0,0.1085366052059226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092845896082443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273343754698018,0.0,0.0,0.07314816316589652,0.0,0.06988117160096957,0.09990907613703036,0.06722591618007095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642289017747217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamscrappled,2019/03/24,"feeling empty I have no idea why but lately I have been feeling this constant sense of emptiness - like boredom, but in an  unproductive sense where I can't focus on anything I need to do but I also can't find anything I want to do. It's gotten to the point where I'm just unfocused and unproductive and generally lost. Does anyone know what could be causing this and is there anything I can do to make it go away?",5.539759036144577,5.723709000000002,6.380385542168675,78.88479518072292,67.43373493975903,8.567710843373495,32.26265060240964,8.238735603445708,2.3430501204819274,329,13,64,4,5,109,56,83,0.205,0.722,0.073,-0.8856,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,12,0,0,2,0,18,22,7,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,2,7,1,8,17,0,9,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,46,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350556972941356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517058689134207,0.0,0.5356272280615044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20384427643089725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228811991317888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344603808963389,0.0,0.1732276375361446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898661521825216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194064497910072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19830063656159252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330531232166005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24492529391402604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923742233328476,0.0,0.2447441896324711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599736846409458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23684120405211914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482476855190748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608756278554863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20510056202498064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279706472867727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19577574133752268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helvetican7,2019/03/24,"worried about my boyfriend’s mental health my (21F) boyfriend (23M) has always had some things that he does that might seem slightly odd to some people, but lately it seems as though his mental health might not be so great. for example, i had a short shift at work and he didn’t want to go home while i was at work so i assumed he would go find something to do. when i was finished and met up with him i asked what he had gotten up to and he told me he had just been sitting there. my shift was four hours and his phone was dead so it was a bit concerning. he has done stuff like that in the past but he describes it as though he doesn’t have control over himself, like even if he wanted to go do something he couldn’t. another thing is when we go out to eat, he takes a very long time to order. i will frequently have finished my food by the time he gets his. he has told me he feels the need to look at every item on the menu and has some sort of process for deciding. also, he says that he overthinks things to the point where it makes him quite distressed, however its not necessarily worrying about things but more if he has to make a decision between two things he will need to spend a very long time weighing up between the two things and the consequences of each one. he also lives at home and lacks in any motivation to move out. he works a casual job that often doesn’t have hours to give him. he doesn’t ever initiate sex, but does seem to sometimes enjoy it when we do have it. he often tells me he’s a failure and makes morbid jokes about dying. he has told me he has never thought about harming himself however, and does enjoy music, movies, games etc. he is often making jokes about things and whenever there is some kind of party we are invited to he is more keen to go than me. i have asked him to go see someone but he says he is embarrassed and refuses to. should i be concerned about his behaviours? i don’t think hes depressed, having had a severely depressed sister, but im not too sure. what could i do to get him help if he needs it?",4.411973255916248,4.8294646532066565,4.8697334389020845,87.92110759215275,69.92636579572446,8.13727456672825,26.75648807952846,8.045849151850463,1.365216873405473,1613,47,352,20,27,513,194,421,0.08,0.807,0.113,0.934,3,0,2,0,0,0,35.0,3,0,0,6,26,16,0,2,15,0,51,6,0,6,3,71,85,33,2,13,13,1,1,2,0,6,2,2,2,0,23,18,3,2,11,4,1,7,10,5,0,4,19,5,34,11,50,56,11,43,0,2,2,1,61,16,0,17,20,231,57,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307751727636985,0.06403051155149055,0.0,0.0,0.05233023012918442,0.08069123827471371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388010052806166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840120249929432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863085928998599,0.061440181963176535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255787567178445,0.0,0.07986437989701865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202453438715745,0.07874896128388555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874145517482002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582220073087245,0.0508262949327252,0.06960779729556632,0.06483566552713277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038909415353082184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033304481345147,0.0,0.09305107519692944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040884330452185,0.07381969667189525,0.26240272974299617,0.0,0.0,0.08484022671180592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635934783109929,0.0,0.0,0.05157953153556037,0.0,0.15437894301756114,0.0,0.15156510841353435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312173248004981,0.0,0.07636332368572724,0.0,0.0,0.08013402055017613,0.0,0.0,0.08680559152872852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519005279619985,0.0,0.06795032620934963,0.13620079901710555,0.0646205848073549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20546513845396086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509971903158792,0.1632685445026293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178815933233037,0.0,0.17117755554714478,0.05935038870652114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214489724679014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345971603863206,0.05334906347614942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274483466262856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184828603002263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239117910054755,0.0,0.0,0.061321052068750236,0.2101635611106726,0.0,0.08693424078828059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520146811298712,0.11848334204033513,0.07610783210222732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809201881765855,0.0,0.0,0.07252666992417135,0.0,0.05785858297691365,0.0,0.06725973712721094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35786600831564824,0.0493079523867142,0.1512105670329115,0.061091562441475886,0.13461458517625374,0.0,0.0,0.22059377628034027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503425094829882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698747949564165,0.09077696800666986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806666044246832,0.15629767361236466,0.0,0.05466473459190912,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chefgazpacho,2019/03/24,"How do I deal with mental health breakdowns when I don't have free time? I'm  a college student and I have essays and exams coming up. Yesterday, I had a bit of a breakdown but I don't have the time to take a few days off for my mental health. I can't ask my profs for extensions partly because social anxiety is the reason I'm in this mess in the first place.

​

What should I do? Any help is appreciated.",1.7991860465116292,3.73562839534884,3.695523255813953,87.71444767441862,79.0,6.16046511627907,22.377906976744185,7.1686216300943375,0.7449581395348841,326,10,68,4,8,110,57,86,0.091,0.8059999999999999,0.104,0.4664,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,7,0,12,2,0,2,0,8,17,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,9,2,9,15,3,12,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,6,47,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21301087135314115,0.23888474730113726,0.13369151161041168,0.0,0.15039482822616948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837900204410428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984263973343165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21463109539230515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934940023315245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678767239906982,0.20268107039074432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722381930936922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179431153084938,0.0,0.0,0.13177365209598468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962435448209311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21289349779744932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20540019319467398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021326600015584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20040409965935466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478151614989004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292725426277727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23888474730113726,0.0
mentalhealth,doodlebug_bun,2019/03/24,"Help with motivated a depressed person? I'm new to this sub, but I need someone else's opinion.  
My boyfriend (18) of almost three years is clinically depressed. He also has bad anxiety, PTSD, Asperger's, ADHD... there's a few more but they're not relevant to the issue.  
He's failing school. It stresses him out so much. He's incredibly smart, but he just cannot get motivated to do work. He switched from public to online schooling for his senior year; he performs theatre professionally and it takes up most hours that he would be at school.  
I wanted to ask if there's any way to help him get more focused on school. The system now doesn't work: he does some school every day, and then crams all the rest in the night before all the assignments are due. He skips a lot of assignments because he feels like he doesn't need to do them (that it's so much effort and work to put into something that isn't a major grade). It's so unhealthy. I'm just so worried about him. He doesn't *want* to be unproductive. He just feels like he cannot work.  
I want to help him in any way that I can. If anyone on here is in a similar situation, or knows someone like this, please offer something. Any amount of advice or understanding is helpful and extremely appreciated.

Thank you for reading.

<3",3.2646649764578015,5.31269819920319,4.373489677653026,84.02768109380659,74.97609561752988,7.113437160449113,25.75172039116262,8.00094639256281,1.5337553784860551,1012,36,199,16,22,330,139,251,0.117,0.713,0.17,0.9348,0,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,1,9,13,10,0,1,10,0,17,1,0,2,2,37,33,17,0,8,11,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,7,0,0,6,1,0,1,7,5,0,1,0,2,12,5,27,30,13,23,0,3,0,0,29,9,0,9,13,113,22,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088140883207595,0.09828869723000157,0.0,0.0,0.10071950285168607,0.0,0.0,0.0804363145712493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20519998836855466,0.0,0.07694584004363808,0.0,0.0,0.07033008227490901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403167436852516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398273500314543,0.06131455912478915,0.0,0.08558885858200756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648678154361325,0.0,0.1732642520321514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802099879100879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402432139424769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474564816035711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171573305613976,0.14371325537756818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510109656874904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696750806057129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099054149028705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049826839201951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527787278772919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741955004901186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551220346799415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478803877571558,0.1491622733404095,0.0,0.0971438401155644,0.0,0.09439047945738986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782533330092311,0.0,0.11041010218503697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757632834712192,0.10111385436375443,0.0,0.0,0.10061037655352073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5089776254451631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305968309977656,0.0,0.0,0.1704475655896396,0.15486765711090758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521766687810912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562601657827367,0.0,0.0,0.09260345748934602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471061402846774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779796566259781,0.15967645704427524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29290294588211746,0.1021470786838204,0.0,0.07145138909026172,0.0,0.0,0.1295445111349039
mentalhealth,Aermr,2019/03/24,How do I recognize signs of bipolar disorder in myself? Any advice I can get would help me so much. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety all through college but lately seems to be developing into something much more than just that. How do you recognize different symptoms of bipolar disorder and where there any major events or instances that you or others made you realize it was time to seek help. ,8.986780821917806,9.158123534246576,8.500102739726028,66.62631849315069,60.232876712328775,12.231506849315071,41.53767123287671,11.698219412168324,5.2979068493150665,330,17,51,9,4,105,56,73,0.138,0.794,0.068,-0.5472,1,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,6,2,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,3,1,16,9,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,7,0,9,5,5,6,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,3,3,41,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116529114250082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945823625474169,0.0,0.16569363035883142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865518845095016,0.0,0.0,0.2262943752005221,0.4964704179445562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316129783815387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903564578509369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443271907244852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20494624877445056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184426642487575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971788206056225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667444550434446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22643082112890098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22512384456449985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262975608192666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538619897558156,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ambsmonty,2019/03/24,"constant negative monologue & paranoia?? Does anyone else constantly feel like everyone hates them, thinks they’re selfish and egotistical? I just feel like everyone thinks I’m being self absorbed anytime I speak, I speak quickly to try and speed up what I’m saying bc I feel like people don’t want to listen/always interrupt 

it’s sooo tiring trying to keep up with the negative monologue in my head telling me that I’m not funny, what I said could’ve been interpreted as mean or rude, that my story wasn’t interesting or it was too long winded/had too much detail, whilst still paying attention to what everyone is saying all the time 

I’ve always found myself having the urge to hit myself or to get punched by someone all the time, I haven’t acted out on it since I was a child (20y/o female rn) but I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, is this normal?

I haven’t been diagnosed with anything and this is all just the tip of the iceberg, but does anyone have any idea what could be wrong with me? And whether anyone else who experiences this can help stop it/help me understand why? Thanks and sorry it’s long ",6.377964008468593,6.6824593440366975,6.5389908256880735,78.04909315455191,65.65137614678899,9.45998588567396,30.530698659139038,9.265573868473778,2.5400997882851097,899,30,167,15,13,288,130,218,0.123,0.804,0.073,-0.83,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,2,0,8,0,18,3,1,0,3,39,37,12,0,3,9,0,3,3,0,0,2,5,0,2,15,9,0,2,12,0,1,1,7,4,0,0,8,8,16,5,18,25,5,18,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,4,15,101,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824943225962315,0.1188182005003113,0.0,0.07457358739864778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300336330953303,0.2247223528230521,0.09024207913954777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370102691512882,0.0,0.1751115853344778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130412451012103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19193105316754847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832162406515872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31435881734954063,0.0,0.10726999938289973,0.0,0.0,0.16634446357107496,0.23502661442394704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023818573817566,0.0,0.0,0.057293612974671136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826803804331983,0.11254434682558843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700759746146252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379449698622433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747218891985912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160725224020539,0.0,0.0,0.1940939713850649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932302944508641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945353299590633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061382782205949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074449966660703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602548351026413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082775116727363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431320844626513,0.17441446882512476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440087143946255,0.0,0.0,0.09071313445944597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291584173890907,0.0,0.0,0.12275708256401816,0.0,0.0,0.08757582371210694,0.09168193285592782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958489934533814,0.10096158511610766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21080000342144314,0.0,0.0,0.127889016960078,0.12603977413066653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890593412886374,0.0,0.0,0.11416149955320312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468119995572387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895245621095844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989764646626525,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asinglemaow,2019/03/24,"Can’t remember things from mental breakdown - is this normal? Some background: 
Almost exactly a year ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. While it was bad before, not long after, I got into a car crash in which a drunk driver hit me and left me at the scene.
This mixed with my unhappiness and where I was in life sent me into a huge spiral and I had what I now realize was a mental breakdown. 
I’m much better now, but I recently realized when I think back to when I was in that breakdown, I remember almost nothing. I have a flash of me in bed and then I blink and I’m driving to my parents’ house, even though I know/am sure it was at least three days before I contacted them. 
Has anyone else experienced this and if so, is it normal? Should I be worried? ",3.3679004329004343,4.840384902597407,4.969545454545455,82.29098484848484,73.35064935064935,8.25021645021645,25.82034632034632,8.841846274778883,1.9361229437229444,601,20,119,12,12,203,97,154,0.106,0.848,0.046,-0.7572,1,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,9,4,0,0,7,0,14,3,0,0,2,27,20,15,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,10,11,1,0,5,1,0,3,2,2,0,1,9,1,21,2,15,8,3,27,0,1,0,0,4,11,0,4,13,92,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877580107765006,0.0,0.3135327183241767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976349023557192,0.0,0.0,0.10946629625488703,0.1604082193430534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038047180121116,0.13071616942256567,0.0,0.0,0.2664320884208092,0.0,0.0,0.13845941649235366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009644702843226,0.0,0.1348398532309085,0.15889915884126096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078089717577346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340253439137326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521064896869072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806424606771373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603806227993425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009653351487292,0.0,0.11057882045505052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854548932929314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31553950671564696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508530782913358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067796394263573,0.15021792167942144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383484792155832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154578328538563,0.0,0.35469064929481553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755042623217626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400761563433687,0.10031357290914053,0.15381364979146372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898833067003984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081573471404166
mentalhealth,gotgotg0t,2019/03/24,"What nonconventional/offlabel drugs actually helped your mental health? I’ve tried Celexa, Zoloft, Prozac, Lexapro, Luvox, Wellbutrin, Lamictal, Effexor, and Gabapentin.  Benzos are the only thing that truly works for me and I’m grasping at straws here ",8.202692307692308,12.071512282051284,6.0637820512820495,68.95413461538462,67.2051282051282,9.028205128205126,32.82692307692308,9.516144504307137,3.9652,205,9,27,5,4,59,37,39,0.0,0.923,0.077,0.4404,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,12,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.3714308414558907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413991057250707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4045819438785508,0.0,0.0,0.2551219932292345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835760842588569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894791497042075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528674418830921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25841643135876385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770963605844469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwyouaway49,2019/03/24,"I keep thinking everyone hates me I’m usually a very outgoing/talkative person in real life but I keep thinking people find my talking just annoying, which kind of affects my confidence. 

Even though they don’t outright say it, I somehow just know they’re only trying to be nice. I know it’s easy to say “stop caring what other people think”, but I genuinely don’t want myself to be hated by other people. 

It’s not like I’m actively saying mean or rude things to people that makes them hate me, I’m just very talkative. ",4.108235294117648,5.801548205882355,5.578578431372549,77.77610294117648,71.84313725490195,8.629411764705884,27.45588235294117,9.188382445141503,2.5312117647058825,415,15,73,9,8,140,68,102,0.235,0.617,0.14800000000000002,-0.8887,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,6,9,5,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,0,22,21,4,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,9,0,0,3,7,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,3,12,4,7,19,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,2,3,43,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570085179558934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438719754445052,0.0,0.0,0.13655155181917966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061229435466132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4232663762605741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540405025398623,0.0,0.14881324003081306,0.15707335663593575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093780613750553,0.06981601133868105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538998778792183,0.0,0.0,0.15566509734070064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086854534738758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962884644493409,0.12477885999900575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265681884312772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409306269939301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947471660709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22972274745237545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493952368564433,0.27470265825577145,0.14040312873715252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702290149748813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738932255327565,0.23582266479765854,0.08428888652097156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EvanFromMars,2019/03/24,Guys please help. I'm scared I'm a narcissist. I know there is something wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm terrified I'm a narcissist. I just want to be normal and have a normal life. I don't want to have to except being a bad person who can never be normal. I don't know if I am or not but I'm scared.,-1.7954166666666684,0.018624736111112483,1.624444444444446,97.665,93.30555555555556,4.866666666666667,13.555555555555555,6.42735559955562,-0.7810111111111109,239,4,61,3,9,86,39,72,0.26,0.647,0.092,-0.9403,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,4,0,11,1,0,0,1,18,21,5,0,6,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,7,0,5,18,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,38,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138349054281551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20323962854651806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758142261290726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384165133865165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449811780241951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583091328629589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6033335317039864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792250773761373,0.0,0.2253137945906604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110020500804003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580191431421062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421352817102185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244195409436912,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,timelynotification,2019/03/24,I am afraid of going to the psych ward... what is it like? My mind is deteriorating. I can feel it. I am struggling with alcoholism and mental health issues run in my family. I am having intrusive thoughts and no one to turn to. I feel incurable. I don’t want to leave my bed. ,-0.09928571428571333,2.231877642857146,2.732857142857142,87.93714285714289,94.0,6.371428571428572,17.714285714285715,7.6454224807358475,0.7266500000000002,212,6,46,5,8,74,40,56,0.115,0.815,0.07,-0.34,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,8,2,0,0,0,8,14,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,1,2,9,1,7,13,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,32,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29983569924902875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644891008699545,0.0,0.2837213866918329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594499807626204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982245306113194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928340755704775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970748913854264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706853374166714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28274073871216604,0.0,0.2832878728111889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19011622792978428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29330455919294823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227350713674141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051711405656167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548287226122718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AvaadusBrukeHeart,2019/03/24,"I just need to vent I sometimes feel like I’m not that great of a person

People call me ‘kind’, ‘smart’, and ‘funny’, but for the life of me I just can’t see it 

I’m only doing what I’m told; be kind and people will be kind to you. I don’t think that’s an outstanding trait

I’m just acceptable. I'm not great.

I’m slightly overweight, I suck at social situations, there are literally a billion people smarter than me, a billion people funnier than me and millions of people smarter than me. I’m not exceptional

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so stressed all of the time. I say the weirdest things at the weirdest times

People always tell me to be myself, but I don’t know who I am. I don’t know who ‘Me’ is. What are his traits, his ideas, his bonds, and flaws? What does he like, what does he want? 

I want to be better. I want to learn more and make a difference in the world but I don’t know who am

Sometimes I have thoughts. Horrible thoughts. Thoughts I don’t want to think about and would never do. How I’d harm myself. I imagine eating copious amounts of dangerous stuff. I imagine jumping from high locations. I imagine myself saying cruel words and slurs. I’d never want to say it and I don’t know why it pops into my head

What the hell is wrong with me. I don’t know how to fix my problems. I don’t know anything. I feel unprepared and horrible

I’m faulty. I’m broken. Everyone seems to have their shit together, at least internally. Everyone says things perfectly, while I struggle to make proper sentences out loud

Am I messed up? Do I have something wrong with me? Am I mentally faulty?

I doubt I have anything super serious. I don’t have anything majorly wrong with me like a disability. I just feel unfinished 

I worry I seem subjective. Not because I feel like everybody is right, but that I just don’t know anything. I don’t know enough

What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I function right?

Everybody I know has everything together (at least those who aren’t deficient in anything). Those who do have problems are not doing fine. How am I fine if I don’t fall into the first group 

I’m an asshole in all honesty. I constantly pester people trying to be funny, my responses in trying to be kind always come off as weird awkward. I’m either an annoying pushover or a rude idiot who doesn’t know the difference of putting his foot down and being a prick 

People probably think somethings wrong with me by accident. I cried in class a couple of-of times, so many people must think somethings wrong with me. Nobody at school actually likes me, they just think I’m a weird and lonely kid. Those random ‘kind strangers’ probably just pity me.


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mentalhealth,ExpensiveTea9,2019/03/24,"Is there something wrong with me mentally? Not sure if this is the right thread to post this in. 

For some background, I'm a 17 year old girl. I'm a junior in high school. I'm not really attractive. I'm pretty tall for a girl (or at least I am told as such by almost everyone) (I'm 5'9), I'm overweight, have skin issues, normal teenage stuff lol. I'm relatively popular, I guess. I like socializing and hanging out with people, but I've never had luck with boys. Never had a boyfriend or quite frankly any male attraction.

I have an obsession with making people think that I have a love life or deep social life and constantly lying. I lie almost unintentionally sometimes about things that don't even matter. I have a specific memory of second grade where one of my best friends had missed school. She called my house phone later and just casually asked if she had missed anything exciting. I don't know why, but I lied and said another girl we knew in our class threw up and had to go home. The next day, she asked the girl about it and I inevitably got caught in my lie which was really embarrassing and they were mostly just confused as to why I said that. I brushed it off and said I meant a different girl who wasn't in our class. I still do that about random things kind of instinctively.  I don't know why. I've actually gotten a lot better at being believable. Sometimes I put on makeup and turn on party lights and music in my room and take pictures to pretend I'm at a party and post it online. Just random stuff like that.

That isn't even the main issue. It's gotten out of control. In eight grade, all of my friends had boyfriend. I made up an entire lie about meeting a guy my age online and even went as far as to making a Kik for him using a second phone and posing as this entirely made up boy and gushing about myself to my own friends. I uses pictures of some random guy and made an instagram for him and had him comment random compliments under my photos. I used a school near mine and pretended he went there on his instagram and even followed people who went to that school and befriended them so that my friends wouldn't be suspicious that he had none of his own friends. I even told my friends that I had my first kiss with him (I still have never had my first kiss). I know this is so wrong, but I couldn't stand the thought of them thinking I never had a boyfriend or anything. I told my best friends that my ""boyfriend"" had mental issues like Intermittent Explosive Disorder and that he would insult me. I would even sob in front of them at sleepovers and tell them about my relationship issues. This boyfriend literally doesn't exist. Eventually they ""convinced"" me to break up with him. I faked screenshots of him saying he would kill himself if I broke up with him and what not. They wanted to call him. I literally used an online text-to-voice website and a fake number app to get a fake phone number and male voice to talk to them. They berated him and I kept the convo short, only using small phrases like ""ok"" or ""I'm sorry"". I felt bad for deceiving my friends and decided to end it there. He ""dissapeared"" from my life and they were happy for me, and we moved past it.

A year later I did it again. Except this time I didn't make a boyfriend. I made a guy best friend who was madly in love with me but I didn't like him back. I did the same thing, fake number, fake insta, etc. This time I spread it out over years. This started in 9th grade and now I'm a Junior and he still exists. At this point I posed as him, befriending my own friends and asking them what I could do to make their friend (me) fall in love with him. It's literally been me the whole time. I told my friends I kissed him also. but didn't like him. This time, I used my iPad and a separate iCloud account under ""his"" name to send iMessages from. He's in a groupchat with me and all of my friends. I use my phone to text as me, and my iPad to text as him. I ordered a makeup pallete on Amazon under his name and sent it to myself with a gift note and showed it to all my friends, making them think he's sending me gifts. I'm in so deep now, I don't know how to end it. 

I can't stop doing things like this. Faking fist fights with made up people, lying to make my life more interesting, creating fake people. I've literally been doing it for years. At this point, some of my friends consider the second made up guy their actual friend. But it's me, controlling a made-up person. I feel bad, but for some reason I don't feel as guilty as I think I should. Doing stuff like this is easy for me. Is there something wrong with me? Is this some kind of deeper issue? Do I need help, or is this normal for people my age? I don't know. ",3.371542172826743,4.7396333794549275,4.238158869647627,87.9534983199793,73.17190775681344,7.323833318974183,23.655495247120985,7.857002457098244,1.0066138996582517,3700,101,785,50,73,1191,337,954,0.107,0.703,0.19,0.9983,3,0,2,0,1,0,114.0,4,0,14,9,33,71,4,3,38,2,61,12,1,23,8,158,140,68,1,14,23,0,4,8,16,5,5,5,2,14,54,55,1,4,17,4,1,15,23,23,0,7,51,11,137,48,116,80,23,105,0,4,0,6,117,51,1,25,42,523,191,11,0.0,0.0,0.07911360418789389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118089871224654,0.0,0.0,0.03241622586049965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02756553100417886,0.04250500762057075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671452768136167,0.0,0.11368566588183475,0.0,0.0,0.03116929850403113,0.06769090107511049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045669629109857286,0.127618523774503,0.035850356945525116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278255823222308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380447656134266,0.09092802334845072,0.032364299500066605,0.0,0.0,0.026142045013664496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04235097146834242,0.04645719648712997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180484541203967,0.0,0.04520779918707758,0.1606398984300524,0.0,0.0,0.038733408741456934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040991934972275115,0.0,0.038920438202700885,0.0,0.0,0.06895895364310671,0.0,0.0,0.5010820458200691,0.0,0.02117812646389275,0.0,0.023037259612195462,0.0,0.03241994349410178,0.0,0.04465442485451802,0.16054607765206674,0.0,0.04315079504279768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027170092166890116,0.042827982830113735,0.04066041301211135,0.0,0.0,0.046772526266936836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21154266027342888,0.0,0.0,0.04484652651471117,0.08442297396790803,0.11138625749615606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452569379122356,0.15842878783012113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03446183376529662,0.1097546179972788,0.26848970102281955,0.16234657186722076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170050280975709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04308282299321911,0.0,0.030056560697999668,0.12505391059515092,0.0,0.04310996565200365,0.0,0.07943236982846717,0.0,0.0,0.04253518996124808,0.0,0.027467904846160417,0.030829075448580445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03869572281685372,0.16861327683811078,0.035394036334603377,0.0,0.0,0.0766383021949766,0.0,0.07764361067356758,0.041239177745396136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04074937493285782,0.0,0.043114495400264186,0.0,0.0,0.05193616039301604,0.04167724666370047,0.0,0.04351995856400676,0.0,0.034617096751819856,0.11567563323189545,0.03223545772496618,0.0,0.16409636619794668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264167793423725,0.0,0.062412418795577136,0.08018129483840218,0.04537617517730338,0.028691236557857658,0.0,0.09711511144747582,0.03388949426763059,0.0,0.0,0.13921035336234552,0.0,0.0,0.038204230393965415,0.0,0.030477652381247517,0.03258090060399285,0.035429814937485905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077199439375038,0.1038940502966008,0.0,0.032180660287886985,0.09454630748180716,0.0,0.0,0.15493363496582774,0.0,0.0,0.044090985509908635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24506760875974234,0.0,0.0,0.023908888990893967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273044784200027,0.10973095548058424,0.04525643975713985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638577161854137,0.13295762238148032,0.0,0.1044141356878637
mentalhealth,picklemypepe,2019/03/24,"I don’t fully understand it all I guess this is just something for me vent about. 

I’ve been diagnosed with depression, stress disorder, anxiety, and PTSD. Honestly, I think it’s a line of BS... I guess I don’t like hearing that there’s something I can’t physically fix about myself. It makes me feel broken and useless. I feel like I’m ruining my boyfriend’s life and soon we’ll be moving in with each other, so there’s that. He says I’ve fixed a lot and I’m finally coming to terms that there’s something that needs time to be fixed/healed. He’s amazing for this, for staying this long, even though I guess it hasn’t been very long...

I hate being on medicine.
I hate being afraid to go back to a therapist.
I hate randomly having panic attacks when small things happen.
I hate it all and I wish I could just ignore it like a bully and it would go away but it ISNT it NEVER LEAVES AND IM SO TIRED OF IT ALL

At this point I’m only living for him and my mom. But sometimes I lose sight of what keeps me going and it takes everything in my body to make myself realize the importance for me to be alive. Some days, I don’t want to move because I’m so afraid of what moving may do to me.

Will I ever be good enough for myself? I am for him, but why can’t I feel it? Why do I want better for him when he says I’m the one who brings him happiness. That one bad day out of a month of good ones won’t change how he feels. That he will still fight for me, even when I won’t fight for myself.

I can’t imagine how hard it is knowing that the one you love doesn’t want to live anymore. 

...
After a long visit, he finally went back home hours away from me. Sometimes I forget to take my medicine when he’s around because he numbs all of my pain. Today I’ve gone the entirety without it. Maybe that’s why I’m poor pity me rn and making this shitty ass attention seeking post. Sorry.",1.2931036606226485,3.131078020253163,2.9127540198426267,93.19412589804995,80.18987341772151,6.093055080396852,20.29592884023264,7.113659591113569,0.31587170715018864,1458,38,329,18,37,480,187,395,0.196,0.698,0.107,-0.9877,0,0,3,0,2,1,44.0,1,1,0,2,25,30,7,4,10,0,31,8,2,5,6,60,72,23,0,7,6,1,5,3,0,7,5,3,1,0,32,16,0,2,10,0,1,11,13,20,0,4,4,9,46,10,42,54,9,46,0,5,1,2,23,10,1,7,26,208,78,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975150854426588,0.0,0.07746098403483563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953163526314635,0.0,0.08885779109989296,0.1467678693787812,0.12011865678337424,0.06521593766817496,0.09522639304100096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907914082416798,0.0,0.08675907640436117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262666592374834,0.06728211504574047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236194541208639,0.0,0.0,0.10074488305233337,0.0,0.06727329528044387,0.07927678484072967,0.0,0.0,0.08951719011631963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070523112574281,0.0,0.10317764462328224,0.07065209633987309,0.0,0.0,0.07019737937091583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797263346123433,0.05579953251369445,0.0,0.1711244213690161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316972855014267,0.13102460076041886,0.0,0.0,0.2581304259509619,0.0,0.0690696087910324,0.08314616928265475,0.06996837486950798,0.3084572829574784,0.0,0.0,0.08803207018447852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834751549895144,0.0,0.07691949075709661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436877590280681,0.0,0.0,0.06942493625428926,0.0,0.0,0.042925469217200814,0.0,0.0,0.08270385161048711,0.0,0.0,0.0551691615052174,0.11447715041319716,0.0,0.1379395177032721,0.20736625092869795,0.0,0.0873815599881245,0.0,0.06640363082993347,0.07049446048061495,0.0,0.15641073975047945,0.0,0.0784688055684804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147777128574493,0.06234412379184386,0.2490455870082572,0.0,0.05791522221946621,0.06024079978995594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170882843883132,0.0594037612408546,0.0831111704195608,0.09164153193318307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383619747351979,0.0,0.07480474914052049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130270049494804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242273669463368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803913531617475,0.15449929734374598,0.08743419765382036,0.0,0.08325148468802132,0.06237621259976814,0.0,0.08947110594950122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745322614407218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068804574001074,0.051890704938707184,0.05004770065565487,0.07673956054271364,0.0,0.0455447186960022,0.08977230717287954,0.07403613880428128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131196105272254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644463119353383,0.13820828998112822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240581075647262,0.2114377867403616,0.0,0.08981899587508914,0.07529219357243641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548484860656778,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TrendStarz,2019/03/24,"Birdbox feeling (deep deep sadness)  So as you can see in the title I have been experiencing a ‘birdbox’ feeling over the last 5 years, in which I believe is quite extraordinary and surely cannot be commonly relatable. As you will understand from the explanation

This feeling I get as best explained as a deep deep sadness that can create an impulse decision / action and thinking of it now actually is scary, if you have ever experienced a death of a close one, such as a grievance. But the worst thing is, I have these feelings for odd things such as social events I have attended or past memories of interaction or just vague memories of things I have done and it can last from 30 seconds - 5 minutes dependant on the thought process. Another example is of going out drinking with my friends it can cause this deep sadness which is a very dark place and almost takes over my whole thought process and controls me into a different person who acts differently and cause fear of again odd things. Another example, where I’m from it’s common for my age group to go out and take drugs which I have done may of times, but more recently this feeling comes on even when I think of the event weeks before and it’s a sense of toxicness. In a way it holds me back from having fun and experiencing life. I just wanna know if people deem this abnormal or relatable. Some people may say it’s a sign of a mental disorder (maybe) such as depression or anxiety which I believe I have anyway... but this is a whole different feeling which as I stated before is a ‘scary’ state to be in, one of being jumpscared in a movie it’s crazy. If you are just curious ask away, I want to discuss this as I’m keen to see what people think.  Also , bare in mind that I’d say I am a strong minded person even though ironically I may have had mental health issues, i have always maintained my self. But I rarely moan, or over-exaggerate let alone express my feelings and people see me as cold in which I come across that way. But believe me this is far far from an over-exaggeration and if anything an underestimation",8.607490789473687,7.151082967499999,8.668526315789475,70.41057894736844,61.825,11.821052631578945,37.80263157894737,10.771109862388434,3.93615,1657,67,309,34,19,544,195,400,0.091,0.8240000000000001,0.086,-0.4857,3,1,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,4,0,4,18,12,0,1,24,0,37,4,0,4,2,68,66,39,1,6,17,0,7,0,1,4,3,2,0,3,31,18,1,2,16,1,0,7,1,6,0,3,6,16,31,6,50,52,6,54,0,4,3,0,18,26,0,15,17,225,62,0,0.0,0.0,0.08118905903057617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331058666029498,0.08616783778343158,0.0,0.06653325687668077,0.0692272409661049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17448031135609307,0.06364609528051687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846470694540703,0.0,0.07777871945840836,0.0,0.0781670791765876,0.06397397874012346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159041333935068,0.28120631730279144,0.0873109664385518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709341330995215,0.0,0.14333508924560354,0.0,0.0,0.09331341595356916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165814998765205,0.0,0.0,0.26077200434801995,0.09535189571266786,0.0,0.0,0.170280486178721,0.0,0.08150217795377919,0.0964830435466466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990273485141867,0.07525718036197354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362066419525816,0.2944711802329439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427841996148237,0.0,0.04346742073715576,0.0,0.09456646298733304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843537923643784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683689592315491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04572333938204879,0.13563463531754394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507539534746518,0.058765072133802325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835833805277061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676876439530016,0.0,0.16801213779286844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275397554659355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942172161811567,0.23071553752054624,0.14529023344585262,0.08692400144934001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884911096658442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821477981905563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323244722308028,0.0,0.0,0.19889364359262027,0.0,0.08679345835206384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480968775298657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841294929015577,0.0,0.12510879481196133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22109170671434614,0.15992938766428594,0.08174142379130378,0.13209953229035054,0.048513310814615004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866118520969777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864690465305555,0.049072222649014896,0.13207709465946066,0.06673626304043072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18577476259226694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053576660506169715
mentalhealth,happihappijackie,2019/03/24,"Feeling Guilty (x-post r/depression) Objectively, I have a good job, a great family, wonderful husband decent friends. I have no kids to worry about, I make enough money to take care of myself. Things should be good.

I feel like I have been getting more and more irritable lately. I take offense to minor things my husband says, I get overwhelmed with responsibilities that come along with adulthood. I find myself crying more and more for no particular reason at all... wanting not to wake up the next day but also not wanting to kill myself. 

I have type two diabetes and have put on weight since getting married. I am trying to do a better job with diet and exercise, but feel wiped out most days when I get home and can barely bring myself to do much more than cook dinner, watch TV, or play video games with my husband. My husband has been verbally supportive of lifestyle changes, but we are having a hard time getting the motivation to actually do things differently.

I have no reason to complain. I don't understand why I feel overwhelmed all the time. I don't want to bring up my feelings with my friends or family. I don't want to complain. I also don't want to feel like this. Any advice? Words of encouragement?",5.214813768302079,6.857327039301312,5.7919136912406906,77.53003853069616,69.0,8.357667608528129,29.62779347546879,8.841846274778883,2.4532648856922687,968,37,172,17,17,313,127,229,0.113,0.6920000000000001,0.194,0.9717,4,0,0,0,0,1,32.0,1,0,0,2,4,18,2,2,7,0,22,7,1,4,2,44,48,13,1,6,7,4,8,2,2,1,2,1,1,1,5,14,4,0,12,6,1,4,9,6,0,1,2,10,27,12,29,44,10,16,0,2,1,0,13,5,0,4,9,119,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.10484611769622623,0.0,0.0,0.10498930087921417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183974699296922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306300699331214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950221085828731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954242449124343,0.0,0.11365746486673625,0.092550202062226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801799323267645,0.1385800561841741,0.0,0.0925380699962262,0.0,0.0,0.1122521211035615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111014426985363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025700804122633,0.0,0.3259499007395903,0.1535105727758216,0.0,0.0,0.09819837849710274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601603381241234,0.0,0.2806652993011585,0.0,0.0,0.1802314518093759,0.0,0.11845317825388038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624529828969013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777126113784967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21323560162871397,0.0,0.11886664109149114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119720332330468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049796903188562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171715474346584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898089486342175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426385080107095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289799367131512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800705653887613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22093279929853835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544074383456561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888756275323821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219218435618274,0.0,0.0,0.16156328922038532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141354455324634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252984664740887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294482997340775,0.0,0.10495344464022957,0.11184901693992966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.316855010570845,0.0,0.0,0.13083319524667145,0.0,0.0,0.0969480516137509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651429261719587,0.0,0.1091107185272051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,somethingabouturtles,2019/03/24,"Mountains and Mental Health I have seen a dramatic difference in my mental health when I spend time up in the mountains. The more time I spend hiking, backpacking, exploring, the more I feel human again as the days go by. My brain gets rewired, I become focused and confident as again. Depression and anxiety manageable.

If I go backpacking for a week I feel solid for 2 weeks. 

Curious to know how many others experience this.",4.867402597402599,7.472421714285718,5.557142857142856,74.81285714285715,72.11688311688313,10.114285714285714,30.48051948051948,10.290406445055957,3.876927272727272,340,15,56,11,7,110,51,77,0.071,0.802,0.127,0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,1,3,1,1,0,9,8,8,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,9,0,9,7,2,14,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,8,37,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16059733757270708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23185330257182354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343534417164833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538871558608664,0.0,0.1808140476282361,0.0,0.0,0.21933416562953628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053536920743529,0.0,0.0,0.21229576425194732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096807590594928,0.0,0.23861828620431744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4462956098094582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537308828336194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21283800799100008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231239802535991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448259714700636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367894327721903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pvnkgod,2019/03/24,"am i depersonalizing? I think whats been going on is related to depersonalization but im not sure. i dont really know how to explain it by itself, so ill just give some examples.
-one night my friend was driving me home. it was dark and rainy. i completely tuned him out and could only remember looking at the street lights. i felt like a spirit inside my body just looking through my eyes. i wasnt connected to anything. i felt so empty. i cant remember hearing anything even though we had music on. i just felt numb and felt like i was in an entire different universe, and i was the only one there. nobody else was here, it was just me. nothing emotional had happened at all that day, when this happens it usually just comes out of nowhere.
-most of the times it does happen is when im alone in my bed at night. ill look at my led lights against the wall of my bed and just realize, holy shit, im not here. my friends are out of reach, speaking is out of reach, my entire life is a billion miles away in that time, and im just laying here silent. sometimes ill even feel like im physically in a different place. i wont feel like im in my room, but in a different house in a different part of the world. i would feel like it was snowing outside in this alternate place while in reality its clear and dark outside. 
none of this is being exaggerated. please fucking help me, i think it’s insane that i can lose every sense of reality like that and just float away. please tell me what you possibly think is happening when i get like this. ",2.7054261057173683,4.600501656957931,4.1484142394822,85.70432578209278,76.11974110032362,7.55512405609493,25.68392664509169,8.401726058763845,1.6588670981661275,1208,44,252,23,27,400,156,309,0.136,0.732,0.132,-0.4978,4,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,1,0,1,21,14,2,0,11,0,26,9,3,2,3,50,51,18,0,2,12,0,7,7,2,2,5,2,4,0,19,14,0,0,15,0,0,4,7,4,0,3,15,15,32,10,35,32,5,42,1,1,4,1,11,28,2,2,17,165,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776893909737874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345630394384208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409517270397746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08332097282144259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461584783322467,0.07864823108008047,0.0,0.0,0.05989065552698234,0.0,0.0,0.04837627376056832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31348460898260233,0.0,0.0,0.06564315301144924,0.0,0.08791303166410616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266256304432212,0.08437794903218952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990889031986608,0.0,0.06320050471652923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137843501048402,0.16076489716258768,0.2880915815715233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590754573918548,0.06934701163083598,0.03919046283554689,0.07195795785781599,0.042630818557244585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26533002587731536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454352018537109,0.0,0.05027869151316647,0.0,0.07524274669650055,0.0,0.0,0.08655331034660836,0.0,0.0,0.4861523733525671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04122441134947665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298290849632567,0.25652813720833584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889725450505167,0.08391878851882051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078660253690328,0.0,0.0719756492798209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165959730943268,0.11409939757246902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123024846514902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15674230449130114,0.1646804133397874,0.0,0.08456430360718031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048054349075063806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699470308939367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699832518139613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418838632463325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069754135088703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556344103172493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419320533116795,0.07369851205547734,0.0,0.08747972952001343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261467525635455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05328608549499613,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ellaohkim,2019/03/24,"My cousin (16f) struggles with depression and wants to give up on trying to get help hey guys, so I have a cousin who I'm pretty close to. I'm like an older sister figure for her. She does have an older brother (20M) but he's autistic. She has struggled with depression for about 5 years now. She was hospitalized at one point because her mental health got so bad--- to the point that she had a case of amnesia for a week. (now she regained her memory). After that, her parents started taking her mental health seriously and took her to multiple doctors and therapists. She was on anti-depressants but she stopped taking them. Right when she found a good therapist, the therapist moved and couldn't say where she went because of her contract. Now she feels like she can't reach out to anyone because when she did in the past, no one listened. She hated school, so now she's doing online school. She only has one friend other than me, but they don't have a personal relationship.

She's also Asian American, and it's really common that our parents don't really address mental health as an issue. It is common that parents ""shove it under the rug""

Because of her brother's condition, her mom has to work really hard and most of their money goes to his treatments. She's definitely gone through some emotionally damaging experiences-- with her family not having a lot of money to her depression.

I don't know what I can do. She feels like there's no point in trying to get better. We live far away from each other, and I try to facetime her every week. I'm currently at college. What can I do for her?",5.309145021645018,6.407631191558442,6.0676623376623375,77.68339826839829,68.25324675324674,9.113419913419913,28.62770562770563,9.362217197678863,2.5061303030303024,1269,43,231,25,21,416,165,308,0.125,0.79,0.085,-0.9178,4,0,0,0,0,1,43.0,2,0,3,2,13,15,1,2,13,0,22,4,0,0,0,29,42,17,0,2,4,9,3,3,1,0,4,2,2,2,12,14,0,1,5,0,2,4,8,9,0,3,9,5,44,6,39,32,4,39,0,4,0,0,57,17,0,3,21,162,56,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956384963364047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608236627221364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817275930474829,0.0,0.07263090534071873,0.21210702126496211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693334969354783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29968872739870395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903536318659479,0.07612332262036757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784919738852273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329069658593781,0.0,0.0,0.08509043883985487,0.08200404656467339,0.0,0.0879669586729416,0.12428773422470407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953772727568443,0.06720630479846165,0.0,0.09089472730085113,0.08344630917040112,0.0,0.07296096410938684,0.06957182751811118,0.0,0.0,0.08613127306306807,0.0,0.0,0.07792368849848005,0.08588211916131319,0.0,0.27739084387076096,0.0,0.0,0.058305868615408374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090792320325561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780603948813384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749305419238974,0.0,0.07681153113236466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395363767716717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629887351896906,0.0,0.0,0.10187867543729498,0.0,0.09245391593057116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683488608688966,0.06615789197910503,0.0,0.0,0.2897678789108397,0.0,0.08303938450702636,0.0,0.0759541049628535,0.0,0.0,0.24669383257375954,0.0,0.0,0.08849753120678346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717920530027644,0.0,0.0,0.0933919903765801,0.0,0.07428682547930836,0.0,0.06917592886047831,0.0,0.17607193065511326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157018014074433,0.0,0.0,0.07272542132260543,0.0,0.1818763847022614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080750588050027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029974773585963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664628166348216,0.1771763496845426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051307464534192194,0.0,0.13955220547403338,0.0,0.0,0.08063825768984799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332791536136849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056017079732497935
mentalhealth,cherysh_lyn,2019/03/24,"so my mother has outright told me that she will not help me in my healing process and to just go to therapy. i have told her several times throughout my life that i need her help to heal. i went thru an extremely traumatic childhood/adolescence/adulthood. and i have alot of anger because i feel like she neglected me and failed to protect me.

she refuses to take any blame and says that everything that happened to me is my fault and she takes no ownership for anything.

i guess i need to accept the fact that she wont ever change but it's truly heartbreaking 💔",5.695324675324677,6.3703050000000045,5.878571428571429,80.90500000000003,67.18181818181819,9.922077922077923,33.896103896103895,9.957137785484203,3.283428571428572,450,20,87,10,7,143,74,110,0.188,0.732,0.08,-0.8557,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,0,3,0,6,3,0,0,2,18,17,7,0,2,3,1,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,6,5,0,3,2,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,3,2,23,2,11,12,1,5,0,3,0,0,14,1,0,2,3,60,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367049474747165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385678508010746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878791731010866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349510211976464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19110534486563316,0.0,0.0,0.1898753906580353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682419970850814,0.15093096251628987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006931720663447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327371567970093,0.0,0.18682490812796065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832189652620688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922588545263427,0.1032155988866364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133072927370339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800997445160798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386743829277091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176967202766008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24160506876569884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319293586616008,0.0,0.0,0.40375409392966494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19584892949711907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,butterpopcornbaby,2019/03/24,"I suffer from mental health problems and not sure if I should involve my boyfriend anymore? Please help me! When I say mental health problems, I haven’t been actually diagnosed with anything. I see a therapist once a week because sometimes I’m sad, I get anxious or become hysterical because I fear abandonment. The progress has been really great so far, and compared to what most people go through I am thankful for how well I am doing.

My fear of abandonment and becoming hysterical is usually triggered by my boyfriend saying or doing something that my mind perceives as a threat that he doesn’t love me or I’ve disappointed him and I’m not good enough. I’m aware that this isn’t right and I’m working through things with my therapist to understand why this happens and how to deal with it. It’s working, the progress is there. I’m doing schema therapy. This obviously affects our relationship and is sometimes crippling. I can go into a lot more detail here but I’m going to keep it at a high level. 

My boyfriend has been nothing short or amazing. He is 27m, I’m 25f. He has been a constant support and goes above and beyond for me. He is absolutely committed to me. 

The problem is, when it gets to the point where I’ve become hysterical, crying and yelling and hitting myself over the head, he practically wants nothing to do with me. I understand why, it must be very hard to deal with that. We have had multiple discussions about what he can do to help me in those times, and he is all for it until it actually comes to that moment and he does the opposite of everything I’ve tried to prepare him for. He wants to support me, I’m not forcing him; so I’m trying to give him the tools guidance and support for him to support me. When I get in those moments, he doesn’t want to be around me. He just wants me to leave or he wants to leave me. Sometimes he just sits there and does absolutely nothing, just completely shuts down. I’ve told him over and over again that in those moments if he leaves or abandons me, it will make it worse and I don’t want him to do that. He still does it. This is just one example of how he is not able to help me or deal with me in those moments. Because these moments of hysteria are triggered by him being angry at me or showing disappointment, he has to drop his issues to support me. I understand how hard that would be, but I’ve tried to tell him in those moments it gets to a point where I don’t want to be alive and I just want to go to sleep and wake up after a few days. I’ve told him in those moments, he needs to put aside his problems for half an hour so he can support me then we will address his issues. I know it’s selfish, and I know what I’m asking for is selfish but that’s what I need. And those hysterical moments are far worse than him being pissed off with me for something that can be resolved at another time. I’m not undervaluing his problems, but in those specific moments mine take priority. Eventually, they won’t need to because I will be able to deal with him being angry in the right way and not become triggered and hysterical. 

These hysterical moments are happening less and less and since I have started making progress the worst times have been the best of the worst. If that makes sense. The good moments are amazing with us and we have more good moments than bad. 

We keep having conversations over and over again of how he can support me in those times until I’m better, but I’m being realistic and he’s not handling it and he definitely can’t hack it. It makes me sad, but I don’t hate him for it; I understand. I’m very open with my therapy and what we talk about and what I’ve learnt about myself. He even does mediation with me.

I’ve gotten to the point now, where I’ve told him that I can’t involve him in my therapy anymore. I can’t come to him for support or rely on him. Because when I have those expectations and he doesn’t deliver, it hurts me more and makes me more hysterical. If I keep him out of it, would that be better?

When things are good, he’s amazing and he’s constantly telling me how proud he is of me and how well I’m handling things. He goes above and beyond to make me happy. But when things are bad I feel like he doesn’t love me, he won’t even look at me. I know that’s not true, but that’s what it feels like. It’s a hard moment and I know it’s crippling, but that’s when I need him the most. It’s exhausting trying to explain to him what it’s like in my head during those times, I feel like he still doesn’t get it. 

Can someone please chime in and help? 

I’m trying very hard here to keep everything together, but I need to get better and I can’t do it if he keeps failing with the support. I feel like it takes a piece of my heart every time it happens.

At some stage, I won’t even need the support and I’ll be able to do it myself. But for now, whilst I’m still working through things, I think it’s good not to have this dependency. I’ve developed healthy strategies to remove myself from the situation and deal with this alone should I chose to move forward with this.

Thank you for your help. ",3.7828415300546467,4.903992218900676,4.708860945033751,85.92918791385411,71.84474445515912,7.767889424622308,28.291468981035038,8.152853258272145,1.7211388209578915,4029,150,848,58,75,1310,305,1037,0.155,0.716,0.13,-0.9736,0,1,2,0,1,0,92.0,7,2,1,13,47,66,3,2,28,0,87,12,6,18,6,182,185,87,0,30,39,0,8,5,0,11,4,3,1,0,78,66,0,8,16,1,0,10,26,27,2,2,10,13,115,39,122,151,17,105,0,10,2,2,94,47,1,19,51,566,193,4,0.11727952805578035,0.0,0.07629860107142067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04048874047024584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0409926036523044,0.0,0.04416416147085859,0.07753985192137429,0.0,0.0,0.032170352908832474,0.0348012148911685,0.03654684238653462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528233810494469,0.11915418625596648,0.17270136607073686,0.0,0.0,0.04102587637421955,0.10372421194558178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067350619187298,0.04098845127669638,0.08449167034176695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04294201818229896,0.025211864434232505,0.20151673949785634,0.0,0.0396787507539819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368428071125416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040393701091869065,0.0,0.07746202219127082,0.0,0.03293768687052113,0.0,0.07026885172594098,0.0,0.0,0.08798138314160417,0.07906673765404894,0.11171269103547628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254742575026653,0.0375017366458313,0.08887021133584615,0.1639475064061136,0.0,0.04310036457153437,0.0,0.0,0.1037098993381372,0.04161541280644698,0.1400792281213722,0.03859641783313144,0.08024175395326258,0.08310843605687848,0.0,0.04632560180833705,0.1310166591823977,0.041304086827945764,0.0,0.0,0.03849890365768218,0.0,0.04185005347220225,0.0,0.0,0.08160623807483798,0.0,0.1737390553413159,0.0,0.0,0.08593834865976921,0.0,0.0,0.12418208638404027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549475565045164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032828421987646364,0.0,0.0,0.03323562026580425,0.07056623531255211,0.0,0.1565699913353873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879345322722668,0.0,0.039472963567008766,0.0,0.0,0.041549859323603694,0.0,0.1739225680197141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253287021588436,0.0,0.0,0.041632956596559086,0.02649054780954644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02710228596138347,0.0,0.0,0.08582513561597055,0.11086706210624676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870344490052484,0.0,0.039299439506355234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02504408959549351,0.0,0.0,0.04197144083125998,0.0,0.06677071743678803,0.0,0.0621769253103552,0.0,0.0,0.03115219987625748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0323382791803147,0.043942367784765984,0.03912140864278231,0.0,0.03312352117840303,0.06019167363777955,0.11599245207693412,0.0,0.02767035119743316,0.0,0.09365958260148853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4436247287080453,0.03684485574878992,0.0,0.05878640632039558,0.0314216140605569,0.06833831788346598,0.07198348828815758,0.1341193613440042,0.09078038092773076,0.12985884530054492,0.025049328679451886,0.0,0.0,0.13677327189261354,0.0,0.0,0.11206561496105856,0.0,0.13270850186577707,0.0,0.0,0.16278949972102652,0.047024277334561264,0.0,0.043055610342173735,0.09676789315181268,0.18446534468025114,0.03103034348599637,0.031358187738089155,0.0,0.07029892028483023,0.0,0.07055102160444922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853808932170458,0.0,0.07967857237282,0.055541341211187284,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,androsefoot,2019/03/24,"Does anyone else psychologically terrorize people? At 25, I’ve recently uncovered from childhood friends that I would psychologically terrorize them. I would do things like: tap my friends forehead pretending it was a game or something, but later revealing I did it bc I wanted her to get acne on her forehead. Or, thinking it was so funny to spit on my friend and then run away. Or taking advantage of them when they were scared and I would laugh hysterically and chase them and pretend that I was the evil entity they were afraid of.

When they told me these things years later, I still found them funny but I was also embarrassed and hit with a ton of bricks that, that shit is scary. now I’m aunt to a 4 year old boy and he had told his mom that he’s scared of auntie. I don’t realize it in the moment I’m doing anything harmful, it’s just some kind of sick humor I inherited from my dad/sister.

Can anyone else relate to this? How can I ensure that I stop this behavior so I don’t scare my nephew and future children. I don’t want to pass this on like my dad did to us. ",2.544023255813954,4.665465297674423,4.079709302325587,84.96002906976747,77.41860465116278,7.090697674418602,22.377906976744185,8.07648339933343,1.1645395348837213,849,25,172,15,20,282,123,215,0.185,0.6559999999999999,0.16,-0.8805,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,7,1,9,19,2,7,5,0,20,5,4,1,0,26,31,19,0,5,6,4,0,2,3,3,1,0,0,2,17,8,0,1,4,3,1,2,3,10,0,0,12,0,31,9,20,15,2,23,0,0,0,0,25,6,1,4,17,117,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072479802887253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936260803780468,0.28373312914047555,0.11393912164388738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300858316672613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116551293260858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313277545218752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181203050383285,0.32091687985642675,0.0,0.07233858085255519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418268156540562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13528715225778962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216031488556942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528836076866866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598933110036442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671055334063933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4158617819419807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212512863189902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659171884125017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057272312584038,0.1157570725300404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410317101164847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839706615984464,0.08871828405470128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26460507020921153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654790423413235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333220998668493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950697331698524,0.0,0.0,0.1783248015230203
mentalhealth,MrBohemian,2019/03/24,"Should I quit? So I’m not entirely sure which sub is the right one to post this in but I guess r/mentalhealth feels appropriate. Long story short I’m a 25 year old who has a multitude of learning disabilities and is on the spectrum, who is finally graduating university even though I had numerous people through my childhood who told me I’d be lucky to flip burgers. All in all I should be happy, I should feel success right? Though I don’t, I don’t feel anything but shame and anger that I fooled myself into believing so many damn lies. That I really believed someone as average and defective as me could become a designer. That I could handle it. I’ve never felt such a sense of total loss. So much of myself was invested in this aspiration/belief and now it feels as though I have nothing left. No goals, hopes or a sense of direction for myself. I can’t measure up or compete with other people who don’t have mental disabilities. I just don’t see any point dragging myself through this anymore and I’ve never had a backup plan if design didn’t work out. 

Everything I believed in meant nothing and I feel so totally empty. I don’t know what to do, what to think or to believe. I don’t know if my complete failure is because I didn’t work hard enough or if my disabilities just don’t mesh well with design, or if I shouldn’t have been allowed to pursue design in the first place. ",4.009000865800869,5.523351538181821,5.2647792207792214,80.6407878787879,71.8,8.292640692640694,28.36796536796537,8.841846274778883,2.264051082251082,1103,42,211,21,21,367,148,275,0.14,0.779,0.081,-0.9436,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,9,13,12,2,1,9,0,31,0,0,1,7,52,47,27,0,11,14,0,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,16,10,0,0,11,0,1,0,15,6,1,2,9,8,28,6,27,30,6,25,0,1,1,0,5,15,1,12,9,153,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527400240615148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977620481266784,0.0,0.0,0.09108965679730197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747649901619733,0.12225004345141598,0.0,0.4988455721723323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605791114657395,0.0,0.0,0.17675628001304242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437388889261915,0.0,0.07311067881064083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948236510484644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798446918425105,0.0,0.10628117987186396,0.1212571061594457,0.0,0.09415411663337787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193914506616005,0.0,0.0,0.11783313912532625,0.09915782436523662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994161600719524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166628552893527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026661727206933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795847684621238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222378735343773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155097727217966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137097437740827,0.0,0.1707441871083675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21242292151056674,0.0,0.11615208830926255,0.0,0.07500741179875596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347907022598778,0.0,0.11564903747827596,0.0,0.10463922757289686,0.0,0.10601184021774143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773401462890372,0.0,0.0,0.07091179672536503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890598388106827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882067785594656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378853208758273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432541024384967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092663107800808,0.3262614522783192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577045304735387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952493434114566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116943203841366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128168417844892
mentalhealth,freckledfrog369,2019/03/24,"Help I’m 21 years old and I firmly believe I have adhd. I’ve always believed I had adhd and it wasn’t till I got to college and learned about ways to treat it that I wanted to do something about it. I’ve always known about Adderall and other drugs that help with this but never thought about taking them. I’ve gone to my parents about this and they recognize that I have always shown the symptoms, but they don’t care and are not open to me seeing a doctor about it. I still have a good relationship with my parents but I’m not going to include them in this part of my life anymore. What should I do? I do not have insurance but I do have a job during the summer and have a little bit of money. I would really like to get some help but I don’t have the slightest clue who to see, and how much money will this take. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!",2.030174581005589,3.8585387318435735,3.4077618715083813,90.55678247206707,77.88268156424581,5.592318435754192,21.24336592178771,6.322622252153567,0.20968407821229065,679,18,144,5,16,222,94,179,0.0,0.81,0.19,0.9872,3,0,2,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,4,0,8,6,0,0,7,0,21,4,0,1,1,29,35,15,0,4,8,2,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,0,14,11,0,0,3,0,2,2,7,0,0,0,5,2,20,6,20,25,4,12,0,0,2,0,12,3,0,1,7,104,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152546247733332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274037251959866,0.0,0.0,0.08919243794619451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007422247714132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29554196215477585,0.0,0.0,0.14319136964273108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13372507238588285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424652372893608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210249334692436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852502606102735,0.0,0.07454053209058888,0.11000972477721704,0.10489962257133537,0.14460296921403507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516517435082757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301548071237298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264129389680577,0.06407753321206984,0.13145550987466084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641676210623903,0.0,0.10115770270302483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376290299132305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29127250895851065,0.1420321295100721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402364464365737,0.0,0.0,0.14081539742705054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20903306245493136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097240262943816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474353580810307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363241462448103,0.19723009278130785,0.0,0.0,0.12075334216228348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041253856259762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736082056099276,0.10410769951514418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863428055216938,0.0,0.0,0.08446192562582504
mentalhealth,YuTTiVoN,2019/03/24,"County Jail Inmate Neglect  

During a recent stint in lovely Monroe County Jail in Rochester, NY the last couple of weeks, I was able to experience and observe some very interesting people and occurrences. Standard booking process when you are brought into holding is to segregate from the rest of the inmates until you are cleared medically and mentally. The gambit of loaded questions inquires if you are a threat to yourself, then you are ordered to let the nurse administer a tuberculosis test via subcutaneous injection; if it bubbles up within 12 hours, you are kept in segregation; otherwise placed in general population. As I was not supposed to stay more than one night in holding since they had no proof of a crime, I refused the test… not uncommon. Common however? Refusal means punishment. I was sent to AdSeg for the next 8 days. This section is used by MCJ as a sort of “sick bay” for inmates with colds, or apparently refusing unnecessary medical procedures, and suicide watch.

I was able to witness the JOKE that is Monroe County Mental Health Services. I listened to my neighbor’s sobs, the fear in their voice all day and night. I listened to a half dozen people request mental health to come talk to them because they were feeling sad that day, or their medication was late that morning and they were feeling the bad thoughts come back. The CO’s would mockingly ask “what’re you gonna do hurt yourself?” – If the person replied with anything other than a quick ‘nevermind’, the deputy would handcuff them and move them to a solitary cell, and now they have to sit in a quieter room alone with their already dangerous thoughts now amplified, instead of at least being able to make conversation or rap or pray through vents to fellow inmates.

One of the most terrifying things to have witnessed in my life was that of an individual named Dustin (or Destin? not sure), whose cell was kitty corner down the corridor. His was one of the isolation rooms that has the solid door with a tiny 4x4 window at eye level, and tray panel opening at hip level (for handcuffing and meals); versus mine which had more standard bars but covered in thick plexiglass, a tossing & spitting preventative of the majority of fluids (ergo sick bay attempt) but is also effective at muffling sounds a great deal… I rediscovered how deafening silence can be.

(and learned how these deputies have no fucking clue what “quarantine” means… trust me I ASKED them).

Overhearing some inmate chatter, I believe Dustin was about my age (31) but was pretty deficient from the way he spoke, whether from drug use or a mental disability or lack of basic human decency setting in. This kid was in there for 8 weeks already according to the inmates; they had most recently turned off the water to his cell several days or a week prior because he was flooding the cell, so they’re supposed to take him out, let the water drain, and put him back in with no water for the night. This is an appropriate response and protocol until they ‘settle down’.

A deputy performing their final rounds introduced Dustin to a new shift coming on as “the guy on the permanent acid trip” and blamed his outbursts of random words, phrases, and sounds on his being on drugs or just another crazy asshole. When they would do meals, 3 times a day we got served something potato based or plain soggy oatmeal in the morning, and usually rice in the lunch and dinner, with some sort of turkey-based meat-thing, served through the tray door. One of the times they offered Dustin rice, he’d mention them looking like maggots, just a quirk not understood until later on. Each meal, 3 times a day, the first 3 days I was there, the deputies would open the tray door and comment on the smell, tell him to put some clothes on (he was always naked I guess), and close the door asap.

On my 2nd night, he lost his privileges to be served on his tray because he didn’t give back his lunch tray when they asked the first time… so they’d then give him a small plastic Dixie cup with water, and Styrofoam bowls for the other stuff the rest of the meals.

My 3rd night, Dustin had covered his little window in toothpaste and toilet paper, possibly as protest finally. The CO’s followed protocol in demanding him to remove it, asked what point he is trying to make, but he was refusing to communicate. They then entered his cell and dragged him on his belly, still naked, and took him to Strong psych; the door was closed immediately and the officers all joked about his crazy ass and how gross he made his cell. The next day I went to the phone area, and on my return the inmate Trustee I only know as “Sarge”, an ex-marine – was retching and coughing as he cracked open Dustin’s door to clean the cell… I was also able to catch a whiff and I tell you, it is the nearest to the scent of death itself I can imagine.

GRAPHIC PARAGRAPH BELOW – FAIR WARNING

Sarge put on a trash bag as a poncho, an extra jumpsuit, a mask and surgical gloves from the nurse’s cart… and scrubbed that cell like madman. He narrates his adventure: Dustin “had taken dump after dump for DAYS with no water and no ability to flush”, this eventually made him begin to vomit on top. After however long, cockroaches began gathering, the flies were landing, and yup… the maggots were growing.

Dustin had been dumping leftover food too. The guy didn’t like rice because it reminded him of the maggots. The toilet was so clogged that he had to snake the drain from the toilet side and the access panel multiple times… he pulled out a few garbage bags, water cups, and other random stuff.

Sarge continues to narrate: Dustin “drew stick figures on the wall, and used butter to glue his own hair on their heads…” the poor guy was so lonely in his silent cell that he made himself friends in there.

As far as I observed, this guy sat in his own filth, too afraid to say he needed help for fear of retaliation from deputies, or maybe he just didn’t know any better being mentally handicapped. Labeled a psycho, Dustin was mistreated as were the other guys just asking for basic human contact.

I finally broke down and took the TB shot, but they kept me there for a few more days, even beyond my court date (gotta love public defenders). Eventually I was moved to a public dorm where I was able to experience a different kind of deputy harassment, in bulk… and even assist an inmate uprising of sorts. If enough people would like to hear that one, I will keep that story separate to ensure this post remains as serious as it should be.

My final thought on this is... please explain how these highly trained officers of the law aren’t judged when they treat someone this way, to restrain a person ASKING coherantly for help?",10.356282523428844,8.290296420371867,9.188512979430524,69.98608334081861,58.92724333063864,12.07322973741729,40.12648582292883,10.504223727775694,4.129896206473248,5340,213,933,90,54,1661,560,1237,0.101,0.818,0.08,-0.9709,6,5,3,0,0,1,133.0,1,7,23,9,38,42,10,3,97,0,78,35,5,13,5,159,136,90,2,12,30,0,5,4,3,9,12,8,13,10,37,58,15,12,16,5,1,20,13,23,0,9,59,22,91,19,163,58,24,168,1,7,4,4,134,76,3,28,69,601,128,7,0.24242457714814145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05021575009966837,0.10700861966078633,0.07754673870391253,0.040343333683044734,0.052533385611218536,0.0,0.032971405110741495,0.05084066130561884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03989895421605499,0.0,0.2719611056653421,0.0,0.0,0.11184572151048824,0.04048287916746916,0.11822381770074605,0.0,0.0,0.054625896465050616,0.0,0.042880967612646405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529638448444744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05364763672505359,0.0,0.3126875939513388,0.04998581884245452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050656417135751385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245421791297223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009787847366155,0.0,0.06404765873828304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485510163204808,0.0,0.10911801893439207,0.04903086009985302,0.0,0.0,0.21245141971685835,0.0,0.08248248859182257,0.058628152192990286,0.0,0.0374593253888979,0.04482352303917271,0.0,0.09302229774692747,0.0,0.0,0.03877781605039028,0.053454790427952995,0.05341160058343435,0.2400384453143849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307439568967007,0.054646023465511236,0.0,0.06499683358865184,0.051226975157978666,0.0,0.0,0.04774787515571336,0.0,0.051904104756289725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043095620581150684,0.0,0.050489578360153865,0.05329208306008512,0.03952167727060611,0.05469309645888739,0.0,0.0,0.0991582219606362,0.034246329637244444,0.09474912244496124,0.04859462270479902,0.0,0.0429076244239102,0.04071511772290255,0.0,0.05292701264170475,0.0,0.08751905830544587,0.13763279788717558,0.06472811508163069,0.0,0.04870961436462805,0.05281428674287929,0.0,0.1465303542706287,0.2443069548962621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030635840106582,0.0,0.0359509504409367,0.0,0.0468270334505663,0.10312851521756528,0.227499043362298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16427316747295012,0.03687496299819746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084000661616427,0.08467031600556503,0.050656417135751385,0.05322187739488797,0.045833916790627684,0.0546594571544964,0.04643514651306367,0.04932658963366975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622219489082966,0.054314201575353514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574600944595472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0385571507916505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054774153752987116,0.0,0.04010722307267989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0410811115040265,0.037326056656377664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051678468724712434,0.03872011609261963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100725650507856,0.05303462805980322,0.0,0.045696458997019775,0.0,0.036454622380904925,0.038970338446380696,0.08475590628929706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03221122340733592,0.0,0.0,0.11547482110055003,0.11308777636951073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077370500674313,0.032918074943281986,0.05273766519348557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562619920477433,0.05339928444847882,0.04000513298056113,0.0,0.07697013816197901,0.11667502377789887,0.0,0.0,0.04494600235284706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221146410512547,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuperJew113,2019/03/24,"Are there any negative health effects from absolutely never having sex, despite having a strong sex drive? Like feelings of worthlessness, inferiority, picking up habits that are high risk to onesself as a means of compensating? My total lack of sex and the forbidden fruit of female companionship has taken a heavy mental toll in my post teenage and adult years. Things I picked up when I realized I was disposable and useless and unattractive to the opposite sex. After 24 years of never smoking, I took up smoking. I quit working out and put on 80lbs. I took up alcoholism. I seek out dangerous occupations and hobbies, like a dangerous sport of drag racing, and I currently work one of the most dangerous jobs in the country, truck driver. I haul HAZMAT loads on top of that, because frankly I don't really care that all these things are high risk compared to other things. Although I have enough self preservation to not try shooting up fentanyl laced heroin.

I just got so lonely, and felt so worthless and useless, that girls seem to really get revolted if I attempt to give them unwanted attention. I feel very disliked by women out there. I like to say ""I like women, but women SURE AS SHIT do not like me"".

Stories on tifu of casual sex, and people doing fun things with their girlfriends on reddit make me sad, depressed, jealous, all at once. I often say ""I wish I could find a girlfriend like you did, but that's not gonna fuckin' happen now is it?"" ",7.92504975124378,8.037172350746271,7.713074626865673,71.58615422885573,62.43283582089552,10.57950248756219,35.77711442786069,10.203070172399654,3.7166350248756217,1162,48,195,23,15,371,168,268,0.193,0.7070000000000001,0.099,-0.967,2,2,1,1,0,0,35.0,0,1,2,7,8,27,6,2,9,0,14,10,1,4,6,45,30,19,0,5,7,0,3,6,2,1,2,2,0,6,12,14,2,0,9,2,0,4,7,16,0,1,7,6,26,11,37,21,6,31,0,8,0,6,15,18,2,4,14,133,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522101484174354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086044054898603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713090044539397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900474227009834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102310608550943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897923727249403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073827430808982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795372244487885,0.0,0.12148767679763545,0.0,0.11564520840391805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610617716134314,0.12137814065320585,0.0,0.0,0.1011967952800624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188917167469836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344944040385006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26736965852550304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556050296805582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708940519459116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445908612115062,0.0,0.0,0.13782716789507998,0.0,0.0,0.1275114661847164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951739211354744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347492493297025,0.08573932104461683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771927307024817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117980056885935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719658668193398,0.0,0.13457916005984108,0.0,0.0,0.1621154272486848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20124186932935234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518724419423493,0.13199733586591045,0.0,0.12988019424336178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925207959458135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33624096587973984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28115673625312243,0.08590488145903545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439967137718092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550209889739055,0.0,0.0,0.18422922941528946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296104765684985
mentalhealth,ThePerpetuallyNumb,2019/03/24,"How do I get professional help, I can't afford it. (Utah) So I live in Uintah County in northern Utah. I've tried looking for help but there aren't many options that I'm aware of and I can't bring myself to just call around and ask them if they'll take me. 

Also, most of the resources I've found are costly, upwards of a hundred dollars and I haven't found anyone who specializes in BPD. I'm on disability and I can't afford that. I also have medicare a and b. I honestly don't know if that covers anything.

I'm still young but I was never taught this stuff. After a hospital stay I got into the system and I was kind of forgotten. It's as if when you become an adult you just aren't important. 

I want to become a productive part of society but it seems impossible. I barely have enough to live, I can't get mental help and work would be impossible. What, I freak out at work and lose my job? I stop going because it's a mental burden? I don't even have a car. I'm lost. Is there any way that y'all know of to find help? 

Short of trying to kill myself I don't know what to do. Even then I know they wouldn't do anything to help. The last time I was in the hospital they didn't do anything. A few of us there had attempted suicide and instead of getting help we were having ""classes"" about strokes and shit. Those are hardly the issue at hand. They just want to drug you and set you loose. ",0.7694241990531765,2.882446365187718,2.79578773532974,91.85253440493231,83.64163822525596,5.555389188594076,19.69052075305516,6.828538100315305,0.23565097434768176,1087,30,238,13,31,365,150,293,0.16,0.752,0.08900000000000001,-0.968,3,0,1,0,0,2,32.0,2,5,5,5,17,9,2,0,13,0,31,4,2,1,1,41,55,24,2,7,9,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,14,15,0,1,8,0,2,3,13,6,0,0,11,4,36,3,31,40,4,27,0,2,1,0,22,11,1,6,9,162,50,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044187765604146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724686594169981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451355362646117,0.0,0.2630846681662088,0.0948664970857922,0.09962499664449738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496175664304256,0.2353879554535257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421637819750198,0.0,0.1088159886578882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358294089330668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011135498860433,0.0,0.14077191893919785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09739956154910792,0.0,0.0,0.2336886405798847,0.0,0.0,0.16702929831853708,0.0,0.060564018174874626,0.0,0.08523071233549674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546236911493916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4285744008208618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112274093119906,0.10575049416885106,0.0,0.11789969348086538,0.1109722817696301,0.2342639510771416,0.08686566314333391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881997856758144,0.0,0.08948875516447932,0.11922030130016363,0.11632957831819248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804138433241173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21478729763704596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219041068272795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540079245222085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701385155001717,0.0,0.0,0.10938865645892007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358537304141453,0.08510389218409549,0.08909410152566691,0.0,0.0,0.12199278492170045,0.11656610888326854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012450802821315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213959886166505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447028874696492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281859981805611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571099269281233,0.08458727659626727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516290227007168,0.0,0.0,0.07570155956666336,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theBiMathematician,2019/03/24,"Resources for treatment without insurance One of my best friends has been going through a really hard time the past year or so. We've talked about it a lot, and from what I can tell, she has some symptoms of depression or something along those lines. I talked to her about seeing someone to get diagnosed/get treatment, and she seems willing, but she doesn't have any insurance. We're in the US. Does anyone know of anything that's available to her without insurance? She's an adult and not able to be on her parents' insurance, but getting insurance of her own isn't really an option now. ",7.752619047619048,7.39353521428572,7.177500000000002,76.85083333333336,62.92857142857143,10.680952380952384,38.30952380952381,10.125756701596842,3.8377630952380963,472,22,86,9,6,147,77,112,0.035,0.921,0.044,0.2391,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,6,0,9,1,0,0,0,16,15,8,0,0,7,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,1,2,12,2,18,12,4,7,0,1,1,0,15,2,0,6,4,64,16,0,0.18963472684067606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289581171035296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325970102340187,0.0,0.15605322226398352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900994628638485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163332112353387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595062738414862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651131954782734,0.0,0.2972289536686249,0.0,0.10777378539755116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169875467192886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421828649508423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612206633579369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850139869254734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21056692239968705,0.0,0.18102780438603028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24296972377767445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111432520116794,0.17263633313350715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067688866415633,0.14599007743646264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19710309102753945,0.0,0.3048424203975045,0.16574910974767898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057753422287467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22810722728126304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656022190868069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211854666665127
mentalhealth,babazongoEdge,2019/03/24,"This girl So i don't know what to do honestly. This girl and I started talking a couple months ago and i still don't know if she really cares about me or not. Cause i really like her but gave her a second chance cause as a ""prank"" she parented to stat its all over never want to speak to you again. There's times when she sends stuff and it shows that she really cares and theres times where I'm not too sure. Sometimes I wish that we never met so i didn't have to deal with this. If this is over it'd hurt me bad feel lost and alone",1.2069230769230757,2.6267606752136783,2.4875299145299152,98.06719230769232,79.0,6.389401709401709,15.973504273504277,7.1686216300943375,-0.4721788034188034,417,5,105,5,10,134,74,117,0.163,0.718,0.118,-0.6812,1,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,1,0,1,10,8,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,4,24,19,13,0,4,6,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,11,7,0,0,3,1,0,1,7,3,0,1,4,2,16,5,10,14,1,14,0,2,0,0,17,3,0,3,11,70,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385026170315372,0.0,0.0,0.17975557602261238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491515608865296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35391149980326114,0.3565873804847692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19204058134397053,0.0,0.0,0.17893249908949788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775703322802109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579932052964573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907678182422245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479253545414785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946098834892355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853375039203333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677199843045991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19271758215897555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335604935284258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17165504775899293,0.0,0.12284649659323868,0.0,0.1386050543520056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19868440973355156,0.0,0.0,0.1635780266728949,0.0,0.0,0.13950076661847138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20240819207191352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023700475246191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19958516694480374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PrestigiousStill9,2019/03/24,"Is having a sky high ambition a mental health problem? If so, how can I get rid of these ideas? I'm 27M for context. Since I was a little kid, I've had a vivid imagination. I had a lot of Beanie Babies growing up in the 90s and I had a whole imaginary world for them with different backstories for each character. When I got a little older, I started writing fanfiction for Harry Potter. I was like 8 and it was obviously crap, and my mom and other family members wouldn't let me live it down. I learned very early in life that for whatever reason, I think a lot differently than most people, and I need to carefully consider my audience before I just write down all my emotions and the crazy shit I'm thinking about. I became hyper aware of how I'm perceived by people and made sure never to write anything down that contradicted my image. Writing gives me a lot of anxiety for this reason. 

I've been used to being a freak and being mocked or hated by everyone for a long time. I'm not a ""creative genius"" or anything of the sort, but I still think I can just create a video game from scratch and write a long branching story for it. I don't know to code or anything. This is the definition of an impossible ambition, but it's been in my thoughts for like six years.

I feel my imagination and writing habit gets me into more trouble than it's worth. I don't like to be hated, but I bring it on myself by posting satire and parody about things I don't like in a community, and then I get exposed and banned when people trace my IP.

I don't know if I'm a narcissist or what's wrong with me. A doctor said I don't have autism, but I take that with a grain of salt because he didn't actually evaluate me.

I want to move on and find a stable career and hobbies. I really need to grow up.",3.945,4.717635762295085,5.659490710382517,80.56228524590166,71.15846994535521,8.806819672131148,27.754754098360657,9.065960079200117,2.1460047213114755,1403,48,286,27,25,482,191,366,0.113,0.8140000000000001,0.073,-0.9232,2,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,0,10,15,5,0,24,0,25,5,2,6,4,73,54,31,0,7,13,1,2,4,0,1,3,1,0,1,15,20,0,1,15,2,1,4,9,9,0,1,13,5,39,6,46,36,8,34,0,0,1,0,13,17,2,11,16,194,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.10599645640173816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309322270875817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681524978161253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621312229167961,0.0,0.09242675216112838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074428960133736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22696743230931385,0.0,0.1111761290276901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218173324372075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037900905438155,0.0,0.0,0.1023963078867912,0.0,0.0549210201293866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927578029400104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702468025399866,0.1041972234759168,0.0,0.0,0.08687252116482941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144775113915,0.0,0.11545689692100056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476191639670492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261760773269205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938830200079036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107026662807022,0.07672079810691916,0.2122629890825444,0.217729507197302,0.0959125496920749,0.19224875924187967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770319186736919,0.0,0.1027779055589526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946238479424082,0.0,0.0,0.12721323708029966,0.0,0.1154447864167297,0.0,0.1610791953325888,0.08377365383824924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259081738290958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402695817129387,0.0,0.0,0.10393369493655796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958410019719967,0.22335680464975752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332152386406963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149582249193576,0.0898507430309204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688107339147822,0.0,0.08674325806254106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237210358153744,0.0,0.0816679554677797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216162415032845,0.2087959704093871,0.0,0.08623133758596029,0.06333660096650118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938119244526493,0.0,0.08962203433632086,0.06406628886527424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126921261791312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187578037827438,0.0,0.06994706216947573
mentalhealth,Envenger,2019/03/24,"Nothing makes me happy anymore. Hello everyone, just giving everyone here some details on myself and since when I have been feeling like this.

Since childhood I was always into gaming and never focused on studies. I failed my 12th exam and it had focused me to work really hard. I got into a relationship with my childhood love when I was in 12th. Not only did I crack my exams but I also got into the best engineering college in my state.

First year went really well for me but arround 2nd year I realized it was not something I wish to do. I had a fight with my gf where she said me that I had no goals. I really had no goals since I was not interested in what I was doing.

I started learning some skills I was intrested in, it was computer science related, after failing and passing my 12th exam, i wad not afraid of anything, 
I dropped out of college and became a freelancer and earned a lot more then my friends. Fast-forward 4 years later I have a small company of 4 people including me. I dont have problems in getting clients or anything but I have stopped in one place for a few years without too much growth. I feel afraid of expanding my company since i am lazy i don't want to take risks and i am in much better place then all my other friends. But that has stopped me from mentally moving forward at all. Rather then my skills i feel I am mentally blocked. 

In the mean time 2 years after opening my company my gf and I broke up. She was attempting civil servicr exams which she failed 2 years in a row and long distance relationship which had creatrd a huge gap between us. She left the exam and joint MBA and we are kind of in a complicated relationship after a 2 year break.

I was a very carefree perso  until i started freelancing and after that, it lit a flame of ambition in me. I am earning close to 4x of my dream job then but i am not happy with it at all.
I always keep dreaming of creating a multi million dollar company even though i am nowhere close to it. 

I buy cars, sports bikes etc but i don't feel happy with it at all. I am afraid that i will still be unhappy even after I achieve my dreams. I have been trying to learn some new technology over the last year but there was a barrier i just couldn't cross. And the barrier was mostly mental rather then me failing to understand the topic.

Sorry if there are any spelling or grammatical errors, I am writting this at 4 am from my mobile. ",3.272625000000001,5.08149767916667,4.77416666666667,82.20750000000002,74.29166666666666,7.633333333333333,28.25,8.395991825355821,2.129900000000001,1906,78,364,34,40,638,225,480,0.156,0.7390000000000001,0.105,-0.9663,1,0,1,0,1,0,35.0,2,0,0,16,17,23,1,4,20,0,44,1,0,1,5,75,64,33,0,7,20,0,5,1,4,1,0,1,0,0,17,25,0,6,9,6,2,7,13,11,1,3,23,7,72,12,54,38,15,77,0,5,1,1,19,33,0,8,37,278,89,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744558568279987,0.14035302137147365,0.0,0.0,0.057353172180963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364127553657331,0.0,0.0,0.13880704102891045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850820693918791,0.07459067972730077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884426637886692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405988552536122,0.1114097620973878,0.0,0.0,0.1611783832763915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057661643734162,0.060251546400327136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173841021079141,0.0,0.0,0.13031965920750316,0.0,0.04406346220465388,0.08090531540025647,0.0,0.0,0.13490664127111734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693401745962929,0.07555086207883581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369309366395447,0.07496406474442185,0.0,0.08782572266205142,0.0,0.06874725398472857,0.0,0.0,0.09163418693760443,0.0,0.0,0.04120360290476864,0.0,0.0,0.07463704877590736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170170185777121,0.07611892188471996,0.0,0.056296701896039775,0.0,0.0,0.09186951150566194,0.0,0.0,0.25498055910163114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963863474269586,0.12399721961958125,0.0,0.06504716402142907,0.08145479099824886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092520659950389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05715005003362076,0.06414334162887292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058469798731771966,0.0,0.17623187148375044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070069517255217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162088491002796,0.0,0.0,0.2716444326559282,0.0,0.0,0.08022536682841422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27906320193048884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492801101619368,0.0,0.09441021061639962,0.11939065713177024,0.0,0.06735295258628267,0.1410217709618959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341216660866192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286229264815563,0.0,0.0491785434067669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572604053041353,0.0,0.0,0.08779950608129806,0.1014490082193226,0.0,0.0,0.06958821658495114,0.049745119248469916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583057248328666,0.07818277089286091,0.0,0.0,0.09698528202311668,0.08129944625429818,0.0,0.06139953961881903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4344905890856695
mentalhealth,SallySour,2019/03/24,"It's been 20 years. I'm 25. Hello, this is my I believe 2nd post on Reddit.
And this is my 139474738 breakdown probably.

I am not fully diagnosed even after 20 years of mental struggle and 8 of therapy, for now it's a ""personality disorder - cluster b and c"" that is driving me insane. I have no easy life too.

But in the last year I lost all my friends because I disappear for days when I'm feeling depressed or paranoid, and lost my smothers because I'm just a weight.
I really am a loving person, very kind and supportive, very sweet and thoughtful but I am a boring weight to them and I feel more alone than ever.

I am going again in a hospital in a few weeks to finish the diagnose hopefully but I spend my days crying on my dumb abusive mothers couch.

I just needed to vent, thank you people of this community. ",2.85578439964943,4.708416055214727,4.804702015775637,81.35246932515341,75.56441717791411,7.601928133216478,28.20727432077125,8.418075326091056,2.1971458369851,639,27,122,12,14,219,104,163,0.21600000000000005,0.654,0.131,-0.9299,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,2,8,14,2,1,8,0,9,6,0,0,2,21,23,12,0,2,7,1,4,0,1,0,3,0,1,2,6,7,2,0,3,0,1,3,2,7,0,0,4,5,20,7,15,19,3,22,0,3,0,1,8,5,1,2,13,82,26,0,0.0,0.16419145054180975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352429913735198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16895088237419062,0.0,0.0,0.1561291724077566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222066657487368,0.17874179986054686,0.0,0.11935643296871215,0.2813061027075389,0.0,0.0,0.15882160160469946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152900547691986,0.12535110946676692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013770217443064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706448498585892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875667807905158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376385356744822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443069422143184,0.0,0.11295900229983455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978812513893862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30254700486430103,0.0,0.1250714315679725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396533334910723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275331853284796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607205737817903,0.2420007216524102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271875547810907,0.0,0.14940977702126504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887761724612727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487109146702626,0.0,0.0,0.1572558877562771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758336745016646,0.1584752296900366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100149039134304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22868158542032896,0.0,0.0,0.1111583582263858,0.33749965823100897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26771773020210604
mentalhealth,mollyhenderson,2019/03/24,Looking for coping mechanisms I'm curious to know what everyone's copying mechanisms are when they find themselves in a low spot. None of mine seem to be working right now. I sometimes read my favourite novel or listen to music but even those seem colourless right now. Any suggestions appreciated...,5.961346153846152,9.057409365384617,5.712153846153848,72.63284615384616,70.73076923076924,8.775384615384615,35.4,9.3871,4.075226153846153,245,13,36,6,5,76,45,52,0.031,0.903,0.066,0.1901,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,6,7,1,7,0,1,1,0,3,4,0,3,3,22,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931533100145996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18760221535045532,0.0,0.0,0.2714072914258992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596025351997633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609802199899206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385175799878385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28411152565307524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4851280985442295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5171489770861012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809175433070032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20678061665582856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GoatsOverLard,2019/03/24,"My little brother with severe mental health issues is finally functioning on his own! My little brother, who has suffered from severe social anxiety, panic disorder, chronic DRPD, self harm, depression and suicidal ideations has worked his ass off to become functional in society and live a better life. Over the past several years, he's experienced terrible setbacks and remained forced in extremely negative isolation.
I am overwhelmed with joy to hear at 19 years old, he is now able to hold a job and is moving out of the parent's house next week! 

Before this, he couldn't hold a job, couldn't drive, was forbidden to see a talk therapist (or do anything that would actually help improve his life), and was expected and forced to live the life of his religious father.

Through years of intense adversary, he has broken my parents down a bit and has been seeing a counselor, become more self aware, NEARLY ERASED HIS DRPD, is making leaps for his panic and anxiety, and finally realizing his goal of functioning on his own and breaking away from the negative grip of our parents. 

I am so proud of him and the sweat and blood he's put into breaking the cycle and living his very own functional existence. There are still issues but what an amazing accomplishment. 

With that said, please be encouraged that you don't have to live a terrible life. Hurt, hopelessness, terror, paranoia, whatever - we know they always will try to drag us down, but it is a real, tangible truth that they can be taken by the balls and you can live a rewarding life. You can learn to own them rather than them owning you.

Remember, he WAS what some might call the ""exception to the rule"" case. That's how many of you feel but don't let it drag you down forever. It takes baby steps, self honesty and a lot of work, but the reward is out there. ",9.395892857142858,8.164634898809528,8.930357142857146,68.43964285714287,60.13095238095239,12.804761904761904,37.964285714285715,11.81641974633143,4.553699999999999,1450,57,248,37,16,465,191,336,0.175,0.7140000000000001,0.112,-0.9538,5,1,0,0,0,1,45.0,3,6,4,8,7,19,0,4,21,0,32,10,3,2,1,47,41,22,1,5,7,6,2,0,0,3,7,2,0,3,12,22,0,2,5,1,0,4,6,11,0,0,6,7,28,8,42,27,9,34,0,5,2,1,46,17,1,4,11,172,40,7,0.08362820228039941,0.0,0.08160906191246113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958536361289848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795069168810005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881888489213815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857144891451417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18472155816907365,0.07116144063247701,0.0,0.0,0.07396234894324002,0.09130033737570192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539374472183632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720288480825028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584516502100453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04228493181929748,0.0,0.0,0.18322121576788813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889286839302367,0.09425506188262034,0.0,0.05605422118170442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649571729421366,0.08952572018078729,0.0,0.0,0.17457223178334458,0.16597617343999166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04595987290687549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855155028157631,0.29534536225205005,0.0,0.16763485720398952,0.3692261737664181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109770700598153,0.0,0.0,0.05582247440579978,0.08478587114695085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427755833554787,0.08871630696428259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888354424270409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893954186647447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775373051546471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962393533465548,0.2785776657056631,0.0,0.07983258180497056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179865302605997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406944155626178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951872027385771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947344508399552,0.0,0.07954957103428623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328169967525846,0.0,0.26172736083501064,0.28342819426637644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524842067702018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678559036807974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147567988827927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287800045667245,0.06721718121298446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709878849067136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05677805984902054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059443047435934,0.0,0.0,0.06900202513518737,0.0,0.0,0.06708149949393684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176465453442567,0.0,0.0,0.059407075489654376,0.0,0.0,0.16156146123078996
mentalhealth,Arsinetic,2019/03/24,"Completely lost (M17) I feel like I have no future. I try every day to picture myself 5,10,20 years in the future and I can’t do it. I feel like my life isn’t going anywhere and I’m just existing. Recently started thinking about what would happen if I just ended it all. I’ve always had the hunch that there is something off ab me but I’ve been too scared/nervous to bring it up to anyone. The thought of death is always lingering in the back of my mind as I feel like that’s the only part of my future that I have any control of. I haven’t acted upon it, but I have been running scenarios through my head over and over for weeks now as to what downsides death would really have for me. 

Note: I’ve been dealing with similar thoughts, and random panic attacks for a few years now but It’s been happening more and more often recently. My family/social life is pretty good and so are my academics, I just can’t see any reason as to why this is happening.",3.2336923076923085,4.598369087179492,4.547692307692309,85.61230769230772,73.51282051282051,7.4564102564102575,25.820512820512814,8.021203637495839,1.5040358974358976,752,25,152,11,15,249,108,195,0.114,0.8109999999999999,0.076,-0.8589,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,11,7,1,1,6,0,21,3,1,2,1,28,36,14,2,3,7,0,3,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,11,7,0,1,7,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,8,4,20,4,25,26,5,25,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,3,17,109,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22547018998942284,0.0,0.0,0.18427007130700904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473486849727772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541347332297855,0.0,0.10418026877582293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205435395430774,0.0,0.1519589205780612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737717582963889,0.1396799798416475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000026393704745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415268651053748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551717593998944,0.29037339163685544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699974056029966,0.11363911726121355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3594291145496723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904758734409484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19139534948731984,0.1985746530656829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789882870925322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680210311730762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304310717573108,0.0,0.15896347301060754,0.0,0.1467179910952529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783783491481727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679571579432388,0.13930203654403833,0.2675518972987266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796469468445592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430363975357873,0.0,0.0,0.09589759409316677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681387297430597,0.0,0.2151212891584279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198601025213674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867859022633417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225492160195872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924905454526578,0.0,0.0,0.17449691270000905
mentalhealth,jphuxley,2019/03/24,"Body Dysmorphic Disorder sufferer here Hi. This is actually my first time posting in Reddit. Honestly, I don’t talk much about my mental health because I worry that people will find my struggles ridiculous and irritating. 

It feels like my whole life is BDD. It’s very severe for me. I’ve done CBT, I go to support groups, and I try to do exposures as much as I can. When I went in for treatment, my psychiatrist said I was one of the more severe cases she’s seen because of how depressed and suicidal I was. I still am very depressed and am currently planning to end my life. 

Right now I work full time, I recently graduated from uni, and I am very active in life. I am one of those people who is seemingly doing great, AKA high functioning, but that doesn’t change the fact that my life is dominated by BDD and depression. 

Anyways, I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I just haven’t discussed my mental health enough. I can’t make it to support group enough. I just want to see if anyone else suffers from something similar, has suggestions, or even is genuinely curious about what BDD is. I just want to talk about this and feel safe because nobody here knows me!",4.877230176211455,6.099396643171811,5.641803414096914,79.88314564977975,69.352422907489,9.19922907488987,30.046530837004404,9.516144504307137,2.7091764317180616,926,36,177,20,16,302,134,227,0.146,0.755,0.1,-0.8684,1,0,1,0,0,1,26.0,0,0,0,3,15,14,1,1,2,0,22,7,1,2,2,27,39,14,1,3,7,0,2,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,12,8,0,1,5,0,0,3,5,7,0,3,6,5,28,7,23,32,7,20,0,5,2,0,10,7,0,3,10,120,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.10352951543255087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418129626250526,0.10870277015969412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19401627277479666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784318818775685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223021435126454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27412807711765963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158948110224913,0.0,0.0,0.1085679304095825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862541997660006,0.0,0.0939651394665602,0.21924073269201486,0.0,0.07007210712710947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072855979167154,0.07579143397231476,0.0,0.0,0.09696525503712757,0.09024095323038063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058792411378645,0.0,0.0,0.11696570569833516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255395509878791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209096981158084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058304840907182374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997408525244872,0.051830705360307434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081656852859829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21382955695966727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15597818886017967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378001901754126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471002872029046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016058549219546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047520668679798,0.0,0.0,0.09060113716690092,0.10091683875598376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454079400034945,0.09658126492631637,0.0,0.23970527230416425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167403749592142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472441229750699,0.0,0.0,0.11090935150014868,0.0,0.11604633836932544,0.2407816266725457,0.09998951509697528,0.0,0.0,0.17054385963134466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372503439839848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202882726032055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26260856547181466,0.125150444966666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834742296119237,0.0,0.1184468164825711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723551395728126,0.10774056365489616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mr_moped,2019/03/24,"Completely lost on what is right I was trying to vent to my best friend about how helpless and burned out I feel about my responsibilities, and how much I’m hurting, but she told me to just “get everything done” and not to “coddle yourself”. I have no idea if she’s right or wrong. I feel incredibly helpless and overwhelmed by everything in my life right now, to the point where I almost can’t take care of myself. It’s difficult for me to do anything besides sleep and do nothing. Am I being dramatic and childish by not being able to follow her advice? Before you ask, I’m not in a situation where I’m able to seek therapy or professional help. ",6.6668616422947125,6.319295236220476,7.373903262092237,74.5097637795276,65.14173228346456,10.406749156355458,33.103487064116976,9.957137785484203,3.0734463442069737,513,19,99,10,7,171,84,127,0.165,0.735,0.101,-0.8315,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,8,10,0,1,2,0,10,2,1,2,0,21,22,12,0,1,8,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,4,2,16,3,18,16,2,12,0,5,0,0,8,10,0,4,1,70,18,1,0.32517204603805633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887717999427714,0.0,0.0,0.16280641655119016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379444371769633,0.0,0.15199598402298609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834873056276173,0.0,0.17062400039797676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576728625831258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046835180691586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638195020996308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29224366776443794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16441675680362364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561355807243313,0.0,0.08494448653681064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897798406337768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740517003259805,0.1835398299497438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483931629827615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774818501680653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951943430656037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600567405604698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15369634419985925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4165427259099388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18275350196071424,0.16270344070041773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224445523008777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859312868346666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535791246562908,0.0,0.11038523720307483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776229298982182,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SoThatOne,2019/03/24,"Need some advice with an obsession (vent) Over the last couple months, I've gotten super close with a really amazing person and am now really good friends with her. I knew her before this for about two years, but have only recently gotten really close to her. The first thing that has been tearing at my mind is that they are a year older than me, and graduating this year. Essentially, this person who makes me so happy is going to be gone and I'm not upset that they're leaving (because they have a life to live) but am torn about how I'm going to cope with their absence. But even on a daily basis, they're constantly on my mind because of how happy they make me and how much they care about me, and it has gotten to an unhealthy level where I think of every action I do with them in mind to some regard. I do want to state that I'm not romantically interested in this person, but I think I'm emotionally dependent on this person in order for me to be happy. I guess the main point of this vent is trying to find a way to be happy without this person around and being ready to detach myself from them when the time comes without entirely breaking down. I can't really distance myself from this person based on circumstance (nor do I really want to) but am hoping anyone has any suggestions on how to sort of ""reset"" my mind when it comes to this person. ",12.301916563403552,6.663116457249076,11.770755885997524,63.9074432052871,59.14869888475837,14.48343659644775,38.81082197439075,10.980518767755715,4.034764229657166,1073,24,203,17,9,358,135,269,0.05,0.773,0.17800000000000002,0.9912,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,7,2,14,13,0,2,11,0,21,1,0,7,0,48,44,19,0,4,9,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,17,16,0,0,4,0,0,6,6,2,0,2,6,0,28,11,45,34,4,40,0,0,0,0,20,17,0,6,13,152,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759042472729632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095497122854576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267497638258072,0.0,0.0,0.07979428137539181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928150290037413,0.0,0.0762729050887678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138900256021608,0.0,0.0,0.15442547839333987,0.0,0.09686374654177236,0.0,0.0,0.09917958127874199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082747175875324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920316684313672,0.0,0.07552147424220754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192489718536558,0.0762436071815371,0.0,0.0,0.06925188943728504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018834352679827,0.07518170556903815,0.0,0.0,0.09874321600486384,0.0,0.0,0.381673107610206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902792234136284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306460531003706,0.0,0.09491067456216816,0.0,0.0,0.06331195260591012,0.0,0.0,0.07914947380961876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196643084887342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620237708868941,0.0,0.07154591628863037,0.0,0.06589214394700928,0.06646332306451372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817156566604894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5478616487661901,0.0,0.0,0.08473418314690201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28711284048886165,0.0,0.08850389043815593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954960637667118,0.11486916115793927,0.0,0.0,0.05226697294027394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085637855977144,0.0,0.0875605106010427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573825988155304,0.07114820465434372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281015919019527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731662806280338
mentalhealth,OPolly131,2019/03/24,"I want to talk. Honestly not sure where I want to start, for the guts of maybe two years i’ve been really up and down in terms of feelings, always sort of had a ‘problem’ with mental health and i’m only now having the courage to talk about it, never had the guts to go to someone to talk face to face but i feel as if here would be good for advice. 

I could never really stem to where it began but i’ve always sort of had rocky friendships and been the one  everyone laughed at and took the piss with, but whether it was serious or not i never really could tell, i’ve always had anxiety especially in social situations and health wise, but recently in the last year it’s got a lot worse, I started talking to this girl and things got pretty serious but after a few months she started kissing other people and really fucked me over, but i kept going back and back as i’d never felt the way i did about anyone else and considered myself to have hit gold, or at least i thought i had at the start. I started to place all my eggs in one basket and didn’t hang about with my friends and devoted my time to her, i chose to ignore the signs of everything that i feared, losing her, eventually i lost good friends over her, friends of 7+ years and even to this day i’ve tarnished them and i know things will never be the same, some of them i still talk to but i know on the inside of it that things are still broken. I’ve just started Uni too and things haven’t really improved, i’ve just got absolutely no drive to want to work or go out and drink with friends, and i wouldn’t consider myself to have any reliable true friends, maybe one at a push, but it’s just all really dawned on me how far i’ve fallen into a dark hole and just lost interest in everything, on the surface i’ve just placed a fake smile and fake persona for everyone, just to seem normal but i know things aren’t, times just passing by and i’m watching everyone have the time of their lives whilst i’m just almost stuck, tied and it does feel almost like a drowning sensation. I’ve a few family members who are also getting older and have dementia etc and watching them fade away just bites at me too as i feel as if they’re becoming less and less themselves every time i see them and it breaks my heart, i’m not sure whether i’m just growing up and life is taking its course or whether there’s something else wrong with me, it’s such a hard situation to describe because one day i’ll genuinely be fine and joke but then there will be others and i’ll just be a completely different person and just not even want to exist, if anyone has any advice i’d really appreciate it as i just want to talk and change because ive just hit a low point and honestly don’t know what to do. thanks ",7.588068739770867,5.520625957446812,7.703687943262413,78.4673076923077,64.24822695035462,11.230114566284778,33.217130387343154,9.851270322608157,2.8090105837424986,2176,65,461,36,26,709,245,564,0.112,0.725,0.163,0.9855,2,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,5,4,35,36,2,1,24,0,35,13,6,1,10,118,81,58,1,14,38,0,6,1,5,4,3,0,0,2,24,37,2,2,11,2,0,10,15,14,0,5,21,9,42,22,71,47,12,76,0,4,3,2,25,29,2,14,36,303,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085548719841822,0.0,0.0,0.12384439849720046,0.0,0.0,0.04945212552367762,0.15436344336452773,0.0,0.0,0.0841044299982224,0.0,0.04730618702069295,0.0,0.0,0.08647765813956178,0.06336072211132804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580991881762921,0.09509978544322532,0.0,0.07539219792528422,0.06829562593378871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541680045097814,0.0,0.06483635884737589,0.0,0.0,0.0987458199637878,0.0,0.0,0.07976127122415358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460793943486784,0.0,0.0,0.05411517800304952,0.0,0.0,0.060578064622536634,0.0,0.0,0.10331605347108658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896613349343537,0.0816873259239576,0.0,0.05210149734917558,0.1772676497830506,0.11115268677854187,0.0,0.058295715742054575,0.06958536309105069,0.12506936016740436,0.0,0.05937453680509479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23888087263566635,0.057168580517875135,0.03230799824617832,0.0,0.10543251940862547,0.10373418879110168,0.14837339072477804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05539503700829222,0.0,0.0,0.13146260021030653,0.0,0.07327877119313475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135939013036669,0.050406528448724584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043678272490930856,0.030211106067895267,0.0,0.05460441736948742,0.0,0.0,0.06918132311079217,0.1350077806750524,0.05257277440228484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424991709666745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231853667485225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04935880033143076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384678320739449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06058847720744495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16761313104989828,0.047030870139631635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04287094250803042,0.05399488315329235,0.12921587886973568,0.0,0.058457251568660926,0.0,0.0,0.06291185788051971,0.0,0.05917097267551556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277306721920401,0.0,0.061057934307090125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927717801356758,0.05629533340472236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139017847103497,0.0,0.06303643502914942,0.052395453805120895,0.047606201625651615,0.0,0.0,0.2626171173278286,0.0,0.09876841106701433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656387175411642,0.0,0.04649476153425447,0.2982200568215594,0.05404946470662995,0.0569324667359453,0.0,0.0,0.20541334037177628,0.0,0.0,0.049092761718772325,0.14423381319932846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687047090894171,0.0,0.0,0.06040710614760551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18236937646558246,0.04908442311796343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501907292503783,0.0,0.06301858633224196,0.04392820681761715,0.06761055466104927,0.0,0.11946565664452755
mentalhealth,Greenguy8,2019/03/24,"Just Want to Vent for a Bit. I want to start this post off in May of 2018. I had family friends come over and visit, they live in the U.S.A and we live in Canada. When they were leaving I heard my mom say ""Next time you guys come and visit, we'll live closer so it won't be such a bad drive."" I was a bit confused by this statement and started connecting the dot. I realized that She probably meant that we were moving somewhere. I was a bit frustrated that she didn't tell me and this is how I was finding out. Fast forward an hour and my brother calls me into the living room. There my parents tell me we are moving to another town about an hour and a half away from were we lived. I was upset and didn't want to but my parents already made plans and had quit there jobs, to this day I've yet to get a good reason as to why we moved. I spent the rest of June dreading the move day I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to make new friends and be put in a new school. I was just sad for that whole month but I spent that month hanging out with my friends. The last day of school arrives it's report card pick up day, and unfortunately also moving day. I biked to school with some friends and was silent the way there and back. We stopped at an intersection and in front of us was a McDonald. They asked me if I wanted to chill for a bit but I didn't get too I had to go and start packing up, this hurt me way more than I thought it would, I biked away and felt like crying the way home. First day of summer was just terrible. 

We get to our new town and here we spend 3 weeks where one of my older brothers lives, he stayed with his gf because he was planning on moving in with her anyway. Those three weeks were some of the most boring times in my life. Finally we find a house its not great but its better than the cramped basement we were in before. The house is in the middle of a neighborhood there's not much around me but that wouldn't even matter anyways because I felt like shit and I didn't want to do anything anyways. I began Isolating myself in my room spent all day there just watching youtube and browsing reddit. My friends lived far I couldn't do anything with them anymore, my summer was just shit and I was unhappy. My parents desperately tried to get me outside of the house, inviting me places but I didn't want to do anything with them, I felt resentment to them, was I being unfair with the way I felt? August comes and the last week of summer my parents take me to buy my new school uniform and get me enrolled in my new school. I was still bitter so every car ride was just awkward silence. I told my mom I needed size 30 on the waist of the pants but she insisted that I get 26, not wanting to argue I let it happen. First day of school comes and my pants feel tight, I think back to the day we bought them and feel angry, I'm getting ready to leave and tell my mom that my pants feel tight and that it's her fault that they do, she was sad about it but understood that most of the anger was coming from the move and she tries to cheer me up, telling me to me to look at the silver linings. ""You're still alive and happy, you have a home you're healthy, you have a new uniform"" she told me. I'm sure she meant well and I should be grateful but that last bit stood out in my head. ""New uniform"" could she really not understand that that was something I hated, I despised it I didn't want a new uniform I wanted to be back near my friends, I wanted to be able to hang out with them but that's what she tells me ""new uniform."" Still angry about everything I get home and my parents for whatever reason expected me to be happy somehow. They can tell I'm still sad and they ask what happened and I say nothing. My parents are frustrated, and my mom begins yelling at me telling me I'm being uncooperative and unwilling to try and be happy. I ignored her but it did make me think, was she right am I being unfair? 

lets fast forward some more to February. I've calmed down a bit but remain unhappy. I spend my days doing the same things, wake up, go to school, go home, spend the rest of the day on my computer. I was tired of this routine I hated it. My parents hated it. During this time my dad had enough of me and the way I was acting. I started leaving a pile a clothes on my bed and just have it sit there for days, they were clean but I just felt no need to put them away, I wasn't going anywhere why did it matter, I never had friends over it doesn't matter. My mom was frustrated with this and told my dad that I wasn't putting away my clothing. I walk downstairs to get some water, my dad yells at me and tells me that I've become lazy and that I should get some friends (despite already having friends from school problem is I live about 20 min in car from them) he begins telling me I have changed for the worst and he blames electronics. This made me really angry, how could he be so oblivious to the way I felt, he blamed it on my computer rather than the fucking move, I couldn't believe it. I became really passive though and just didn't care how angry either of my parent got, so what if they did. What would happen, I'm already stuck at home doing nothing, I dont do shit all day and just didn't care if I got grounded. They caught on though and well my dad was angry but he stopped yelling at me and continued to tell me I was lazy and just glued to my electronics yet I stopped caring, my parents didn't care how I felt, why should I care about what they think? 

In general since the beginning of this year I've just been feeling like I'm losing motivation, I haven't felt truly happy since June 2018 and I'm not enjoying anything anymore, I no longer get enjoyment from the game I play or the shows I watched. My parents are still seem frustrated with the way I act and I don't feel like talking to anyone about how I feel. Recently I've started raging at the games I played never used to do this, I thrown my controller twice and have been feeling much more angry than ever, and just in general have just felt like shit.

I've made an alt account to post this. If you made it this far thank you for reading me vent.



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mentalhealth,TheDruidOftheland,2019/03/24,"Almost a year ago, someone I knew took their own life. How do I stop being angry with them? Obviously he was in a lot of pain to actually go a head with it, but he didn't really end the suffering. He just passed it on to everyone else.

I feel angry that he choose to end it for what ever reason rather than dealing with a temporary problem.

I feel that he upset everyone around him.

I feel angry that he couldn't deal with his problems.

How do I stop being angry?",2.4055,4.051069378947371,4.5675657894736865,83.46608552631581,76.26315789473685,7.697368421052633,22.40131578947368,8.472884824447931,1.3543947368421052,361,10,74,7,8,125,61,95,0.342,0.6579999999999999,0.0,-0.9895,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,1,5,0,7,3,1,3,2,25,13,3,0,4,3,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,6,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,4,3,10,0,13,6,2,13,0,1,0,0,12,3,0,2,7,50,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.17140106807971026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569586526902995,0.0,0.1758798994153151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635844744346447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621579835105112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467261928111572,0.0,0.3111330174692101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887807111857,0.0,0.3356665492264152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26642932687841525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982128721583633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802591677834864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406100341330012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932438424442634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868952674970308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361309788334524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252063984065434,0.1805890318386712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488207340321939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936888325986269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514451151019674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310756577980688
mentalhealth,Lucinanonymous,2019/03/24,"Need to go to therapy, but I feel uncomfortable My mom just drove me back to campus, and during the car ride she asked me to give therapy on campus another try. I’d gone last semester, but never really felt things “click” like they did with a therapist I had years ago—oftentimes she addressed issues I didn’t really find as big and spend entire sessions on smaller points (it didn’t help sessions were only about half an hour long and every two weeks), I’d often leave and feel like crying after, and there would be lots of long silences where she would just stare at me and I didn’t even know what to say. There’s another campus therapist, but I don’t know if I should give the first another go; or, if I should change therapists, I don’t know how to go about asking. My mental health is really poor right now, but I feel so terrified at the thought of talking about it again that I don’t even know where to begin",8.667336065573771,6.200254661202187,8.484255464480874,74.97753073770494,62.49726775956285,12.428688524590163,33.257513661202175,10.9516,3.255656284153005,725,19,147,15,8,235,108,183,0.112,0.8340000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9112,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,17,2,0,0,5,0,15,1,0,1,1,35,35,16,0,7,9,1,4,2,0,4,1,1,1,0,5,7,0,0,10,0,2,7,7,0,0,3,10,7,19,2,19,20,1,29,0,0,2,0,12,9,0,5,15,95,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902727503319196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35142402749114504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887407969979144,0.0,0.0,0.08590078383344188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817806756187978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271203122576925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757142286750907,0.0,0.0941234397182124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694571026925345,0.07980814485979856,0.10726247651421006,0.0,0.10210411275761276,0.09502344381460404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143315322893124,0.1904680650229728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187462237713408,0.0,0.0,0.07487920248384389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001529196284404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165998672016882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455792664299055,0.09106141057811576,0.0,0.11828846358476472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915514392014136,0.0,0.0,0.19772585955015834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497482057204132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258093007830762,0.0,0.0,0.13083749797424388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283414280118236,0.08616033610903476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496314877124621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560536403091106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21469958105485346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540271638243122,0.0,0.08883905697929814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897910775733527,0.0,0.0,0.2555082403961134,0.3891239423750299,0.07421748373266461,0.0,0.0,0.08868803841221176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584613166407286,0.0,0.10912785434804348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960982915530777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871612666397122,0.0,0.0,0.07193982965095326
mentalhealth,FirstLastBirth,2019/03/24,"Inpatient mental health clinic for suicide recommendations Hi everyone. A relative of mine (60m) tried to commit suicide this week and is current staying at a psych ward for a total of 1 week. My family and I are currently looking for a longer inpatient care (30 days ish) for him to go to once he is released from the hospital. With the way his insurance works we have to transfer him directly from the hospital to this next clinic, so we have to contact the next clinic and make sure they can accept his insurance(or we can afford the difference) and make sure they have an opening all before he is released. 

​

Do any of you have any recommendations on a place for him to go? We are looking to keep him where family is which would be anywhere in California, New Orleans, Kansas City, or Chicago. He has some history of substance abuse(alcohol and ADHD medication without a prescription), but in brief it's depression from work, family life and somewhat of a midlife crisis.

​

We were given a few brochures by the doctors in our area, but most seem to be all substance abuse focused, and I don't think he would relate as well to people there. I just want the very best treatment we can get, and each clinic can be so different. 

​

Thank you all so much for any help. I'm really appreciating the reddit community right now. 

​",7.420093333333334,8.036590156000003,7.571600000000004,70.46313333333336,63.44,10.826666666666668,36.266666666666666,10.650279960617883,4.085626666666667,1089,49,182,26,15,353,148,250,0.079,0.7959999999999999,0.125,0.8136,4,0,1,0,2,3,44.0,7,2,2,3,8,8,0,0,17,0,23,8,0,2,7,41,38,15,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,0,4,17,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,2,2,22,7,33,31,11,24,0,1,2,0,24,10,0,5,9,129,26,5,0.0,0.10175871148457953,0.0,0.0,0.10321609663368228,0.0,0.0,0.09178407123977103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722219001623175,0.4174347252578061,0.17521256604563248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308111299760854,0.0,0.09013015011028107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756464717148202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538819220557503,0.0,0.07397191989115773,0.0,0.0,0.17946138081816085,0.0,0.08790609924218866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206601614477849,0.0,0.0,0.2428918891632233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044870940223801455,0.0,0.09761991937685438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129086907140622,0.0,0.0,0.05756635666399789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763378068763028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060662537464737626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424216436675713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146567164351226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651927763567988,0.0865510550256033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313475554447204,0.0,0.0,0.0829474779092288,0.18267760324495014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146385060382684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954127779623145,0.0,0.08973069040908042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055019606017132835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334462194853415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818573347796537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154111048804901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788671052838146,0.0,0.16188964979755466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907061564869156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503111581205596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583097218202961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086344446021542,0.05065671557665796,0.06817086589096998,0.13778222028653087,0.0,0.0772201936659173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278928641970129,0.0,0.12504941437461425,0.0,0.0,0.12201931715068398,0.0,0.4174347252578061,0.0
mentalhealth,peterparkler,2019/03/24,"I’m almost certain that I have depression but my mother doesn’t believe it’s important I’m not going to give the entire story, because we’d be here all day, but I’ve had these feelings and thoughts for almost two years. I’m 18 years old and almost out of the house for college. 

I don’t have suicidal urges, but I often wish I could die. I have spoken to the lifeline chat and promise myself not to hurt myself, but I don’t know what to do to help myself. 

My college has free counseling services, but whenever I think about the future I feel a dreading inconvenience and don’t know how I’ll survive the summer. My feelings get worse in the summer [ the pattern has shown itself for three years straight] 

What can I do on a budget of $0 to help myself? I’ll have a job this summer, but my budget is tight and will go to my tuition and student necessities. ",4.145689655172415,5.036045235632186,5.323620689655171,82.72094827586207,70.7816091954023,7.409195402298851,28.29310344827586,7.492282038375204,1.6361241379310347,677,24,132,7,12,225,99,174,0.139,0.725,0.136,-0.5621,1,0,0,0,0,2,16.0,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,10,0,19,0,0,1,2,32,34,13,2,2,8,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,7,1,4,2,6,3,0,2,2,4,19,4,16,28,1,15,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,4,9,90,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5065004661080416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278000419192526,0.0,0.0,0.1899600258850429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461732207185742,0.0,0.0,0.10873623553057978,0.0,0.14521918451645194,0.0,0.17498530452122846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557551653095429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880891202685388,0.1617412182809487,0.19164414152461587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260246694321173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19454745907841106,0.180495071405427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731438304072951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853217271049914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769225181712703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844264345481164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803523516783116,0.0,0.13385348601321032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647025234421712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388735575821708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17182283434198245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3257281530081976
mentalhealth,BagelEagle,2019/03/24,"I think I might be paranoid I have been having this problem for about a month now. About six months ago I bought an old gas mask as I liked the look. If you don't know old gas mask filters contain asbestos. I knew this and therefore never used it. When I got home i put the bag with the mask, filter and hose (It came with a hose that connects the mask and filter) in a drawer in my room. After a while I started to think what if the asbestos somehow got out and was in my room. I talked to gas mask experts and explained my entire situation. They all said I will be fine and that I shouldn't worry about it. I still worry. I can't shake the feeling that my room is contaminated. I no longer have the gas mask (I disposed of it in a safe way, I didn't just throw it out). 

​

TL;DR  I'm worried that my room is contimated with asbestos even though I know it isn't.",1.4431060116354215,3.307302412087913,2.7841952165481594,94.16962831286362,79.82417582417581,4.94169360051713,21.694893341952167,5.5289334501034215,-0.07173471234647755,677,20,152,3,17,219,98,182,0.065,0.853,0.08199999999999999,0.4469,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,0,10,5,0,1,13,0,16,0,0,2,2,32,32,12,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,3,0,1,5,0,13,12,0,2,7,0,1,4,7,2,0,1,9,3,25,3,18,18,1,27,0,0,1,0,5,10,0,4,13,105,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139380884463705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036594402319244,0.1910598516787856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798369442475916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385338500906262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950362107821879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25151317249850497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772127230320693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17282640236982788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681792969791827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203926200782345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680333510975132,0.0,0.0,0.2510097343216926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212706685965271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299870208572819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045432659532754,0.0,0.1580663545659594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956814828204246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767406857192297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112929751232405,0.0,0.12556946509455585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638093701889924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20150191037941906,0.15448430046193048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580206042660806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248072068551469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47904463118463003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910598516787856,0.0
mentalhealth,htryttiigEUthai6,2019/03/24,"Overthink about the way I think. Like I said in the title, I overthink about the way I think. I believe maybe I subconsciously believe I should think a certain way. I beat myself up for liking something, even if it's something as simple as a YouTube video. I tell myself what I should and shouldn't enjoy. It's gotten to the point where I'll do something and I'll legitimately not be sure whether I enjoyed doing it or not. Naturally, much mind is just completely blank, devoid of bad or good emotions, it's better when I pretend to have those emotions. I'm actually not sure if I'm pretending or not though, but my thoughts dont feel like they're naturally mine, they feel fake.",5.153024227234756,6.158547293233088,5.6996491228070205,80.51976608187138,68.54887218045114,8.01637426900585,31.319131161236424,8.167268648758528,2.202686549707602,542,22,104,7,9,175,79,133,0.123,0.7759999999999999,0.101,-0.5634,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,7,12,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,0,3,27,19,13,0,5,12,0,2,3,0,3,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,6,3,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,3,17,10,10,12,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,5,4,67,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.1457247562082753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468449842408265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364880483690412,0.0,0.13207044678330376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656989737099336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501390884693635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359528024703618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863120372422457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101169493310346,0.10668154093203246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525110587347074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21886561154595127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002228004485638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150780955662242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977489583763406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116532824184058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204723806136738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448851031392902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814839352818821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13052119663281614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870543310415729,0.14671618560844554,0.11855151647335152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555941400804768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,land--manatee,2019/03/24,"I’m having to sell my camera Photography has always helped me, I love it and I got a beautiful DSLR last year.

Now I have to sell it.

We can barely afford anything at the moment and it’s worth a substantial amount. My husband said I didn’t need to, but I do.

I just needed to tell someone. My depression is hitting hard right now.",1.2974369747899177,3.4622930294117684,3.4691596638655464,87.49264705882356,81.94117647058823,6.238655462184874,21.478991596638657,7.447530270364453,0.8646697478991601,258,8,53,4,7,88,51,68,0.101,0.778,0.121,-0.1901,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,7,14,3,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,11,1,5,10,1,7,0,1,0,1,6,2,0,0,5,35,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24850149838045846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24576426887275246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572276085915647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388584311884391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675325724671848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20017942324326912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24344036854797954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695441246454354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4428917611500732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550462626174046,0.2840854250257676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530459640269078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610340765956068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923214074142152
mentalhealth,gemini1734,2019/03/24,Life Is there any chance where you can just live in a psychward for the rest of your life.,5.670526315789478,4.614045526315788,4.862105263157896,94.04473684210528,67.42105263157895,9.705263157894738,24.26315789473684,8.841846274778883,0.9049578947368428,71,1,18,1,1,21,18,19,0.0,0.895,0.105,0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779266839834636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7850803904133242,0.0,0.0,0.4907343498490052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blurog44,2019/03/24,"Am i an attetion seeker Yesterday i was at a bar and got into a talk with a girl. It was mostly casual talk until we started talking about memes. I mentioned that i really despise suicide memes because while i'm not suicidal i do struggle with a lot of bad emotions and lack of hope and i really get sick of living. Meanwhile most people i know that use suicide memes are perfectly stable people that pretend to be suicidal as a joke and it really pisses me off. From this moment the conversation got serious. We started talking about our lives and problems. This was the first time in my life that i showed someone my self harm scars on purpose. And this left me thinking. Am i an attetion seeker?

I know i always was like this since childhood, i was always very emotional and needed comfort from someone. Usually my parents. Sometimes someone else. I was pretty bad as child because of this since somewhere in the middle of primary school i became a massive snitch for a while. Thakfully i stopped this and now i'm really ashamed of it. I kept my need for venting under control till i finished high school when i got depressed about my life and the need came back.   Usually i only vent to my parents who are ok with it but a few times i did it with my friends when i got seriously drunk. A while ago i met a girl who actually encouraged me to do this cuz ""she's a psychologist she can help"". This ended so badly that i broke down emotionally for months and started venting to my parents, reddit, random people at a bar, counseling phones and a freaking priest (i actually reconverted from atheism to catholicism during this time ). And yeah i told this story to the girl in the bar just in a very short way and without the details. The best i acomplished was being able to talk about this in a calm way. And i never mention 

Worth mentioning is the fact that i always felt unapreciated since childhood for various reasons. I always was the worst kid in the family. My cousins and sisters were all rich and talented. I barely passed my classes and lived in an attic without even a fucking toilet. I had to shit into a bucket. I was always shitty at sports when 3/4 of my classmates are now bodybuilders. In high school people actually apreciated me. At least for a while because no matter what i did there was always someone who did it better and completely overshadowed me. I have barely any close friends since i went to college. Not even drinking buddies. My dating life doesn't exist. I barely get any matches on tinder and the ones i get just ghost me. Real girls barely talk to me. Of course i'm still a virgin. Nobody ever texts me. Nobody ever calls me. My friends from high school have forgotten about me. But i know that they still contact eachother. And it's not that they hate me or something. I'm just unimportant to them. I always have this feeling that people that i text to only respond out of courtesy. Espacially girls. I got ghosted so many times that i always expect this to happen any minute. My posts on instagram or facebook barely get any likes compared to my friends who get hundreds. Then comes my father who during high school crushed my self esteem completely. Never said a kind word about me and always criticised me. When i did something right he just raised the bar higher. Called me to help  him at work only to yell at me to get out. Then criticised me for not helping him. Don't get me wrong my father wasn't abusive or anything. He cared about me and we are still on good terms. He's just very insensitive and has a short temper. 

So overall take everything i wrote about myself add guilt over everything wrong that i did in my life(like being a snitch and more) and voila. You have my mental state. So i really want to know. Am i an attention seeker? Or maybe to make this a bit more precise. Do i need more attention then i have? Am i underapreciated? Because i propably am an attention seeker. I just want to know if this is a good thing or a bad thing? 


",3.1272859902048715,5.642308889908258,4.223690936055739,82.66223434158793,77.40104849279163,6.637021452714355,26.422173553148927,7.7627490962704995,1.7707428571428578,3165,125,566,50,76,1028,319,763,0.131,0.731,0.138,0.7488,5,0,3,0,0,2,72.0,4,1,3,6,33,45,6,3,43,2,44,14,2,5,8,104,93,53,6,11,20,7,2,2,4,0,4,2,0,9,42,40,6,3,12,11,2,4,12,23,0,2,31,4,103,22,84,59,15,89,2,2,0,2,63,37,3,11,46,404,145,8,0.047891396201193086,0.056743473239353526,0.1402052828262246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0424528331308615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35864530325237315,0.0,0.0,0.130271166731056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039410538462168514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03682552751925165,0.159949261612162,0.1167766024495149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05025906564880854,0.042356048086923975,0.05228500088883479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780494020102888,0.05477499884064165,0.04882847022135674,0.0,0.0,0.04125419723330294,0.10042643549001637,0.0,0.05371427312771363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04124878937213732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691533583221447,0.0,0.0,0.040007116236359615,0.16161412416192136,0.04241756211476329,0.0,0.0,0.06326363103274646,0.08664101939631193,0.0,0.0,0.08608339770115743,0.0,0.04514774611337325,0.0,0.024215328894772226,0.0,0.04598325072697836,0.0,0.0,0.04073639714340375,0.0,0.0,0.1480030956211879,0.044274824076325804,0.17514894509447726,0.0,0.0,0.08033806188331616,0.19151562252198648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042350203496950234,0.0,0.0,0.047282838762298086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963017800990626,0.20239955802668014,0.0,0.04756696246958378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498715194169382,0.13159929441981674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203414210093037,0.0,0.13530843781500715,0.0467946341920822,0.0,0.12686694077011776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040715552437719335,0.0,0.0,0.03196787884708251,0.04855435889614505,0.04811334452525851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04826326319420207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038226455537220934,0.0,0.0,0.14204345381402736,0.07387359432256999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032452449505003984,0.10927069463991528,0.0,0.0,0.15953318375038628,0.0,0.0,0.1660093201838234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04586671915609097,0.048722767204336916,0.0,0.04582559829020756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05451089363791015,0.1534022736788515,0.04924033159560028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04089899068167575,0.0455556848067135,0.0,0.0,0.24234324877612134,0.0,0.0,0.09992234192651,0.0,0.04915982998266863,0.1584650313346393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231289835126422,0.07373827311520458,0.04736581542280996,0.0,0.10169333018060384,0.0,0.11473839261033375,0.04003935165896491,0.0,0.05006648564641236,0.0,0.20954165742385586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036008369785500996,0.2309597410360397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363383120941524,0.030686872915901338,0.0,0.0,0.11170343302928767,0.0,0.0,0.04576228141093619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136278968454404,0.10549121374024492,0.11854625237622025,0.0564951726055066,0.07602792228700746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044395804081872936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923311938589826,0.0,0.034865506818244435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472344725735468,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DisabledVariable,2019/03/24,"I'm not sure what is happening I am an 18 year old male. For the past 2-3 years I have been experiencing some mental issues. I had social anxiety all my life but up untill 3~ years ago it was only that. Then I started experiencing depression. But my main cause for concern is these mental breakouts if you can call them that. I  just start shaking , talking to myself , laughing and crying all at the same time. I start convincing myself that suicide is a way out , a ""solution"" if you will. I'm not sure what this is and if I should be concered about it so any advice or information would be gladly appreciated.",2.9378304048892296,5.131872882352943,4.792116119174941,79.9738731856379,76.47899159663866,7.35248281130634,25.10389610389611,8.296473431620573,1.749514285714286,479,17,91,9,11,163,85,119,0.17,0.715,0.115,-0.7487,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,2,1,0,3,7,0,1,5,0,15,1,0,1,4,22,21,11,1,5,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,2,14,5,8,13,5,17,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,5,12,69,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17272043747644222,0.1566803723070921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019771943950187,0.0,0.13521513183992884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18048400205627346,0.0,0.0,0.18157344328137429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19415425429578545,0.0,0.0,0.15223661648496786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630159783987596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844836243145601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484547466947893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562497712561641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18547195149235296,0.0,0.0,0.13442819442824994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687302027283209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017685233132735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753188576303086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933384798949262,0.0,0.33317416345796497,0.0,0.0,0.1420669149921818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030657684321077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402978587193912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555986120245882,0.0,0.0,0.3414683264678991
mentalhealth,PortatoreDellaPeste,2019/03/24,"I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want to be able to step outside my door. I want to be able to walk on the streets and just exist there. My family is being incredibly supportive of me and I will be forever thankful. I’m just aggravated that I can’t be normal. Maybe one day, though. ",0.3612142857142828,2.6007928833333342,3.092857142857145,88.15500000000004,86.83333333333334,6.761904761904763,21.904761904761905,7.957251820313856,1.2294761904761908,223,8,49,5,7,78,40,60,0.049,0.78,0.171,0.6361,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,10,0,0,0,0,8,16,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,8,2,7,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,34,9,0,0.5172896421480594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25650616256878106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680451244056732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438273185090026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598434869956583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25341700915729176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752644245403443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935070778750088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23812540121733625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25411722349374993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4576662501771139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LividSuccess,2019/03/24,"I'm having a mental breakdown right now, smashing stuff, and the mental health crisis line is not available on weekends (SUPPORT ONLY) I've been anxious for a while now and I did my weight using these bio impedance scales but found out they could measure fat too and one of the readings was 3 wavy lines to represent blood in the veins. They said 57% of my mass was blood so I got angry and smashed them now they don't work and say ''error'' everytime they try and give out a BI reading. In a fit of anger and panic I smashed them for making me have a panic attack that I have blood cancer (only 10% of the body mass should be blood not 57%) This was last night and I feel satisfied that the ''threat'' is now gone and I can't access it anymore so it can't make me feel afraid and upset.


My mental health has not been good this month. Already been in hospital due to mental health concerns (I ran out of Valium yesterday) and the bio scale was the tipping point and it was now I decided to just smash them as ''revenge'' for pushing me over the edge by making me assume I have cancer.


I am booking a cancer marker bloodwork Monday, but the results probably won't be for another week so I can't determine if those readings were real or the scales were broken to begin with. The body fat reading fluctuated a bit but seemed OK, it was the blood reading that was ridiculously higher than it should be.


My mother has blood cancer my grandma died of cancer in 2013 my friend died of diabetes just months before that so cancer is a MAJOR fear in my life and my mental health has been downhill ever since.




I posted thison Reddit TO GET SUPPORT so I wouldn't be of much of an anxious wreck, but got name-called and insulted which caused me to break more stuff (I just smashed my laptop mouse against a cupboard because I felt like smashing my screen. It's currently in pieces near the side of my bed). I am NOT well right now and I need support, not ****** insults. I have access to a mental health crisis line, but it is not available on weekends. 


I just shot a pic of the broken mouse -

https://imgur.com/a/aj9njXp#5DHvsUu

(currently having to use my dodgy laptop touchpad)


Now I'm scared I'll break more stuff because I feel like harming myself again as well.",4.52913186498856,5.915311709382149,4.88422125286041,84.36841425915333,70.35011441647598,7.110097254004577,26.470895308924483,7.413659706084162,1.3456934210526321,1775,56,337,18,32,561,206,437,0.247,0.69,0.063,-0.9986,2,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,7,1,22,23,6,6,26,1,42,26,11,7,1,58,67,30,2,6,17,1,5,2,1,4,15,2,1,0,19,19,3,0,8,8,0,3,12,13,2,1,21,8,45,10,42,37,6,49,0,0,1,1,14,20,0,4,25,229,64,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030855562883242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631048955891029,0.0,0.16442911562220455,0.07217282550083705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279158767926713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872541362153984,0.0,0.061925805122636235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945098988592325,0.1616722988990114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475953749607349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058104578197652725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105704308345266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582877152855174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189163192160946,0.1103910386380255,0.05199017251482427,0.06987500671939742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979356765257002,0.056225457843472125,0.0,0.038021712943254106,0.06981200577123718,0.0,0.061039862614873486,0.11640895499144932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3867798625191296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932099353664179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140283609814331,0.07110796489829528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573278621649702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400379425132289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617594647152428,0.0,0.05349768781491041,0.053961426893414564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682940108461652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931393695254018,0.11069669066433474,0.0,0.17077057244376231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879549830538112,0.0,0.06969792823603561,0.0,0.07846330293767596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36397135532533664,0.08283340127135945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429818264335908,0.06922528815711307,0.05787326477168374,0.07286004743580575,0.0,0.0,0.06625124188906778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06019988231715567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24992843929307434,0.0,0.24775118347170397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940916089109024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570773755431094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058375376159822925,0.0886198294820183,0.13086616961195718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298075896514843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sinnamonsticks,2019/03/24,"How/when do you tell a potential s.o. that you struggle with mental health? I have been diagnosed with Dysthymia Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, OCD, and ADHD—how and when should you tell the person you are dating that you are diagnosed with a mental illness?  I am not dating anyone, but I am interested in someone, and it may lead to dating.  

How I personally see it is:  It’s important that your potential s.o. knows about something that impacts your everyday life before they decide to pursue a relationship with you, right??

Like say if you had Asthma, your s.o should know about that, right?  

I would like to know anyone else’s thoughts on how/when to approach this topic please❣️",5.579047619047621,7.703677380952383,5.9001904761904775,75.20314285714291,68.84126984126985,9.166984126984126,29.266666666666666,9.642632912329526,3.002196190476192,554,21,92,13,10,177,76,126,0.073,0.821,0.106,0.7998,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,10,1,1,4,5,0,1,4,0,13,6,0,2,0,22,18,7,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,4,6,1,0,2,9,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,2,16,3,12,11,0,11,0,1,1,0,17,4,0,2,7,62,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976335583888026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258016457449212,0.0,0.0,0.2299705894572476,0.1684955736065774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993244158409984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416381187212059,0.3338208606044274,0.0,0.0,0.1884707200446861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137374520935788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747996668292981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711276151913176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161539094294506,0.16068117523203115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314481664177383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871778763110889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17655473311105896,0.0,0.2808739934395086,0.0,0.13077500124394062,0.0,0.0,0.13104311469999855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933556545897344,0.1265994765029741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191590216051633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874681744589476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305526952676043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681856138314815,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loafloafloafloaf,2019/03/24,"PTSD from bullying? Hi, just wanted to see if people got PTSD from bullying. I know that PTSD is a heavy word, and whenever I hear that word I think of veterans or victims of sexual/physical assault. 

But my brother bullied me for maybe 3~4 years when I was around 12-16 (teasing, insults, sometimes physically hurting me), and although I've had years to recover from it, and I've had some closure with my brother, what happened still haunts me. I've forgiven my brother, he's changed a lot and I understand why he bullied me, but I'll never forget what happened to me. And I feel like it's unhealthy to let myself be haunted by these thoughts, but I can't control it and it's so frustrating. I avoid people that have similar personalities to his, and I recently had an argument with a past boyfriend that reminded me so much of my bullying that I cut off all ties with him, that can't possibly be healthy.

I don't know, I feel like it's ridiculous to hold onto these painful memories so long. I want to move on but anytime I remember what happened or have something remind me of it, I tear up a little or feel internal pain, and I just want to eliminate any feelings of hurt.",4.326455309396486,5.693904528138533,5.544909600203717,79.51047364400307,70.81818181818181,9.24481792717087,34.800356506238856,9.627879704456738,3.4854377896613187,930,49,177,22,17,310,127,231,0.265,0.679,0.056,-0.9947,0,1,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,8,14,7,1,5,0,13,2,0,1,2,45,31,21,0,4,10,3,4,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,17,12,0,3,10,0,0,1,4,12,0,0,6,6,30,2,26,22,4,15,0,2,1,0,12,6,0,6,10,120,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319531885700034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890843762521622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941937950804536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721458683970802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474348925160813,0.17479928045083426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784638416393447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32455427600751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788594484252747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26193476017677425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446960564301588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251008239655034,0.0,0.11953817901836215,0.12261670732814163,0.0,0.10826695081249887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040089976161226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290686080425947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002793944499744,0.08993389407549374,0.0,0.0943560634175811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26035653225590105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678726586700652,0.16963014822078235,0.10682247107981296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379198414882662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4290263456728268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079587992060598,0.0,0.13858724404077646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974890511070242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418322254607617,0.12099727716902613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770079235889488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839046017706501,0.0,0.09712420534448248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273601376550413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21647770646745446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039271990693217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575657532302394
mentalhealth,-Call-me-Destiny-,2019/03/24,"My Fight With My Menal Health Hello, I'm 11-years-old, Life is hard for me. You may say ""How you're 11, Too young to have problems."" Well, you are very wrong, I have had severe PTSD since I was 6. You might say ""Only veterans can have that!"" Well, I'm here to tell you that mental illness can happen to anyone. I'm sorry if I annoy you with my panic attacks but, I can't control them. But don't tell me ""Just calm down. It's all in the past now""

No, I can't ""Just calm down"" it may be in the past but, The past controls me for now... Imagine being raped every day for YEARS, Now imagine the mental scars from that. Do you see now? I try to hide it but now I see, I see the beauty in telling the truth, The beauty in showing the truth. It may be hard to get here but, It's amazing here. If you are hiding something like this, Please tell someone. Thank you.",-0.2841778479347532,1.7844485801104994,1.396842936069458,100.39937384898712,88.06077348066297,3.668613522757169,16.353854248881873,4.375723439535773,-1.1059946856090503,647,14,154,1,21,209,95,181,0.151,0.654,0.194,0.9436,0,0,1,0,1,0,40.0,0,8,1,2,14,16,4,1,8,0,21,4,0,3,3,24,30,8,0,3,9,0,2,1,0,4,3,2,0,0,9,2,0,2,2,1,0,0,4,7,2,0,2,7,23,9,17,21,1,17,0,0,3,1,17,6,0,6,12,101,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617905482048051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021432483575488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764700337834763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948585927574911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384318661907917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439288047102286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898930125797372,0.0,0.22081504211947214,0.0,0.0,0.1310086659849544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705490690751702,0.0602135770561858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484134147003363,0.13074845301554613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932982564140616,0.0,0.0,0.09373694947837664,0.0,0.1446069654430225,0.0,0.0,0.3529673493545881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529115765493346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179333161347852,0.1440723019007807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196026214098914,0.0,0.0,0.2946421573010005,0.0,0.0,0.13923707756169326,0.0,0.10195342414487443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442906949511316,0.09488363926485643,0.0,0.13796794675893234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4309026754127034,0.11347176316879565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367845489186454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169390893376368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221632561113175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347541971401305,0.0,0.07936876487040675
mentalhealth,Ohwellpp,2019/03/24,I smell my ex girlfriends shampoo like it's heroin. Let me give some details first..im 25 years old and to put it lightly I am completely insane and self aware. I was an ex drug addict and my girlfriend left me a good year and a half ago. She helped me get through my addiction and I became addicted to her instead and as you can imagine me being almost literally addicted to her was so toxic and she had enough.... I was cleaning out her things a week later and I got one smell of her shampoo and it  made me feel a happiness  like I was on drugs again and I have been smelling her shampoo about 10 times a day for about 17 months. I know I need a lot of help right now but I will never stop and i wish people could feel this feeling so they would understand. I just really want to know what makes it so euphoric to me? Why does my brain release an overwhelming amount of dopamine from just a smell?,1.5308714408973287,3.7791776120218574,2.67451251078516,93.04255392579807,81.62295081967213,5.819844693701468,22.74633304572908,7.0608816371341465,0.6898262295081969,705,24,151,9,19,225,116,183,0.039,0.8290000000000001,0.132,0.9401,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,10,5,0,1,9,0,14,7,1,2,1,34,28,16,0,5,3,2,3,2,2,2,6,0,1,1,7,12,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,8,8,32,4,16,15,4,18,0,1,0,0,17,4,0,3,15,104,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5518305953108841,0.0,0.0,0.1121785079154971,0.0,0.1267210574580513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127110919873356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132684756913812,0.0,0.0,0.10103948888456514,0.0,0.0,0.08161396685173178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074433182752512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935145170650748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075947598125026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19196170882577654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764295130348152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611689752284003,0.12139782440442995,0.0,0.10614372759425764,0.1012132062460918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471431000933395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964694233431216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366951902912231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909660582832029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749641640058113,0.12940545126698294,0.0,0.12365139980029312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758787069262084,0.0,0.11974420925510205,0.08447278275244584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101010614105427,0.0,0.0,0.09383486055514798,0.09760278613108984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279242621282586,0.0,0.08575322529011346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773349840225099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127217214003751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107085865903473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807259284151104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201874171961234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580105957030672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407387342105918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379203884719544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131742506278139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464218168642152,0.0,0.1015103861621529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419125217021288,0.0,0.14552569480273125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989714331391838,0.0,0.0,0.1629874748595079
mentalhealth,creepygyal69,2019/03/24,"Is there a name for the feeling of sometimes being overstimulated/overwhelmed by physical touch? Hi all, I hope this is the right sub for this question. 

I'm trying to find more information on the sensation described above. I know it's cab be common with people who've experienced trauma and can trigger panic or disassociation. Is it just a trigger or is there a specific word? 

Thanks ",4.563142857142856,7.44780388571429,5.8414285714285725,70.99357142857143,74.42857142857143,8.0,30.0,8.841846274778883,2.9902857142857147,312,14,50,7,7,104,55,70,0.087,0.8029999999999999,0.11,0.1431,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,6,0,7,0,0,2,1,16,12,3,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,2,7,10,2,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,1,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733506981520488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31335044001388074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405184455229434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18841643376495493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022500148860007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376827643239283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840603547840624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927843193537313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390784906439083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156419075938169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23276651731657075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,XNekoGhostX,2019/03/24,My depression is confusing Some days my depression is just sobbing and hyperventilating and not being able to stop shaking then when it’s over I feel worse then I did before. Tho some days my depression is sitting downstairs in my kitchen eating something unhealthy and drinking coffee just sitting listening to the old music playing with calm tearing streaming down my face just wanting a hug and telling me I’m ok but I’m always home alone and I don’t want to disturb my boyfriend so I let it pass like a storm and it’s always good after that. ,3.4506381118881118,6.2287499903846175,3.9818881118881135,83.35402097902099,77.94230769230771,6.08951048951049,30.60839160839161,7.348242739294969,2.144742307692307,445,22,77,6,11,140,71,104,0.207,0.659,0.134,-0.743,0,1,2,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,6,13,0,3,3,1,7,5,1,0,0,19,13,12,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,7,3,1,1,2,0,2,2,7,0,0,1,2,11,6,8,10,2,15,0,4,0,1,2,3,1,3,9,51,15,0,0.20100948380178804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20818520393016413,0.0,0.0,0.33451198611420496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17104426566728145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592689759049192,0.0,0.5193875215691943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969127690160352,0.0,0.20568288400187335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163643466939527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859721818257598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20162890156471774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20554581599652194,0.0,0.09820308040434217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21092563981527848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474692106547192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680529290671693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569114869439856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23712120304487785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20484583671465287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pantheramakina,2019/03/24,"My nephew might be a sociopath but no one in my family cares Hello,

​

I don't know if this is the right sub to ask about it, frankly i'm at loss on what to do about this situation but any advice is welcome.

​

My nephew is 18 years old and for over 5 years now he has been behaving weirdly to a point it raises questions but i'm the only one in my family who dares to actually ask them.

​

He has had it rough in school since he's been bullied a lot and his parents were mostly not concerned about that for a while.

​

I noticed a lot of things i consider not normal about his behavior and i need to confirm them with other people if it matters :

​

\- He has ""ticks"" basically there happens times when he talks with his pillow or alone or just shakes in general when doing something alone

​

\- He cannot focus...on anything. If he watches a movie, he will not remember 90% of the details at the end nor even the actual story. This actually ruins him right now at school because his grades are horrible and he just lacks the will to study or even do anything related to school. When he actually tries, he fails to focus even against his will.  This happens also in conversations where he gets distracted in every single conversation and fails to hold one.

​

\- Now this is the point that scares me the most : he has liking for violent things. He constantly talks about terrorism, about how it's bad but mostly how it's violent how he watches videos of it and then talks about nazis and other stuff like that. He plays a lot of a game called Red Dead Redemption 2 where he only ever just kills people in it and proceeds to either torture them or hit them repeatidly for no reason while smiling like a maniac or bumping on his couch. Even though he assures me he understands it's just a game, he told me he dreams about it how good it is and that it's amazing how violent it is.

​

Now i don't know about you, but all those points i raised above really don't seem to me like a proper behavior for a 18 year old person. He has never done any harm to anyone and isn't a real problem child despite his catastrophic grades (he still listens to people and rarely says no) but on the other hand i still can't shake the feeling that later on he might have bigger issues...",7.211407284768214,6.605355110375277,7.218049116997792,76.9311796357616,64.12141280353201,10.199006622516556,33.0030353200883,9.516144504307137,2.8610545253863133,1847,64,351,30,24,593,208,453,0.175,0.711,0.115,-0.9899,1,2,1,0,0,0,71.0,0,1,4,3,37,29,6,5,23,0,33,1,1,6,4,68,50,39,2,7,22,3,3,4,0,5,0,2,2,2,32,13,0,1,8,5,0,2,14,19,0,3,6,8,28,10,49,37,10,49,0,4,3,0,59,23,0,18,28,242,60,7,0.0,0.0,0.1938146689509982,0.0,0.0,0.04851983802647288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285000930931827,0.0,0.03970707786787271,0.0,0.4303876125271314,0.4826656752632802,0.06753079095404098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034718175095777924,0.0,0.08171953628908192,0.0,0.0928367500699004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04145775469825857,0.03026769670614055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05070074320147773,0.0,0.05062402215114218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365670171684288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081173567536176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043977368006012464,0.0,0.0,0.13118000397082494,0.044913519359019584,0.04183436384925337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361589617517384,0.0,0.025105790552290626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025941376402554582,0.0,0.0,0.041646152397602415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781506486751517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051824298855773776,0.0,0.0,0.05493312293930961,0.0,0.05457541934516392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703079318911097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663831280146687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534688956038643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03681669177688534,0.038295060836603466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864889743151602,0.0,0.056529688324280424,0.10420387044341764,0.0,0.10093743558741962,0.0755259112951182,0.0,0.0,0.05513321354945496,0.0,0.0,0.10326835304300976,0.04335463859501718,0.0,0.0,0.14081295487697118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047510726680889064,0.0,0.0,0.05562215168115341,0.0,0.0,0.05651540329840466,0.03180865616124548,0.051051028756886406,0.0,0.0,0.05624659136351664,0.08480590937386859,0.0,0.03948565250933324,0.04971080387832874,0.15075291040581654,0.0,0.04520176157097427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04107305236114827,0.055811478490642566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038224912173660204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930508441434421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056840221157149526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972637063199047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659738154012143,0.0,0.0487833187773748,0.0,0.0289527658884137,0.0,0.0,0.047445081472586526,0.0,0.0337107810561586,0.0,0.0,0.05168999259828416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4826656752632802,0.09592372583964172
mentalhealth,rossleafe,2019/03/24,"How do you let go of what you want most I don’t know where I want to start, there’s a huge mess of worries, shortcomings, grief, loss and sometimes when I really dig, I find the memories that were sweet before I became bitter of what they devolved to. I’m stuck in a place of emptiness. A world I’ve curated in my mind that is so deep and hollow I don’t know how to get back up and out to see the sun again. I used to write, I used to create, and maybe this will help me chip away at the walls, swim up to the surface and finally breathe again.

Without yet delving in to the years of trauma (as my most recent therapist described it), I can say I’ve gone full “crazy girl” on a person that never asked for it. Well, maybe in some context it was warrented, but not in the way I dished it out. The inate ability I have to bury pain and then let it explode out of me at the worst possible moment is atounding. Then the guilt afterwords of trying to put that pain into another human, when I know without question how much it hurts? Just add it to the pile, I guess.
I know I can’t “fix” anyone. I can’t make someone care for me. It’s incredibly hard to care for another human that doesn’t feel the same for you or themselves. And it’s making me lose my worth too. ",4.8156020278834015,4.331992106463884,5.650281368821293,85.78163244613435,69.0,8.990519645120406,28.179721166032948,8.447377352677275,1.6709459569074785,976,28,219,13,15,321,149,263,0.159,0.7509999999999999,0.091,-0.9612,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,1,2,15,15,1,1,15,0,15,4,1,7,1,42,37,18,1,2,6,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,4,17,12,1,0,7,1,1,4,9,11,1,0,4,6,27,4,41,30,7,42,0,4,1,0,13,23,0,6,14,150,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26130849559741354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712340628869478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648443319023352,0.0,0.11706605579807575,0.09580991695874116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602565301827002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25407656005388424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630016406234465,0.0,0.0,0.13649350600503365,0.11388238998401763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509849869046178,0.0,0.07081320518381097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726124560032688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161736845051858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351693490741915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338716669778705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27390820052421705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548244371851298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939583126184688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16634329629547775,0.0,0.25035543842039704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581075373931194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091595535565674,0.0,0.0960994100327418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651669457344134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879615021218543,0.13018076293822034,0.0,0.0,0.1404680835419641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252576867564981,0.1395808191588347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982212390450785,0.0,0.12302773530707928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908713625225116,0.0,0.0,0.09929028359921176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055734049175356,0.0,0.123232853622261,0.0,0.08819271282914577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467051770601516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459540474585915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21522925599837125,0.0,0.0,0.14698493573713595,0.09890189511957106,0.0,0.0,0.11203060714050808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24022042893223766,0.0,0.0,0.12653762301297228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802384890718598
mentalhealth,xN00b,2019/03/24,"I just want a friend. I was so close at work, but now I don't know what to do. I'm a male in my early 20's (Canada as the rules state) and there is a group of *friends* I hang out with every now and then, but honestly I feel like it is best to split ties with them soon.  None of them ever directly talk to me, acknowledge me, or reply to me when I ask things in the group chat.  Majority of them are only ever even talkative if the *alpha* of the group is here with us.  Sorry that sounds dumb but I honestly don't know how else to describe their actions when 1 of the friends aren't along with us.  

Also because of work I have been able to be with them even less then before (I work every weekend and late hours during the weekdays which is exactly when *normal* people can meet up).  I met a girl at work and for the first time it has been feeling like I was building a new friend only for her to tell me she has a boyfriend when I asked if she wanted to go bowling or something on one of our off days.  I don't know how to tell her I just wanted to hangout without seeming like a creep or something.

I have been randomly starting to cry when I am home, or just doing running around during the day and I can never stop it.  But then when I am at work or around people I know it is like a switch if flipped and I suppress everything and no one would have any idea I am constantly scared and alone.  The process of me doing this 2 faced is only making me more upset because even when I try I can never let anyone know how I feel.  I want someone to talk to but I don't know the type of therapy that is best for this, or if there are better options then therapy.  


Sorry this has become some sort of a rant, I just wanted to get it out there.  Thanks. ",3.170135869565218,3.7113625679347813,4.387756521739131,89.82246086956526,72.77717391304347,7.192347826086958,24.50260869565217,7.087006719466742,0.7757763913043481,1347,36,305,12,25,444,171,368,0.073,0.777,0.15,0.9842,0,1,2,0,0,0,32.0,3,0,5,9,30,17,1,2,19,0,37,1,1,4,5,73,61,40,0,11,20,0,3,4,4,1,0,1,1,2,13,19,0,2,12,3,0,4,10,3,0,3,6,4,46,14,47,52,7,48,0,0,0,0,30,13,1,15,34,229,59,6,0.08545227568007396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850278654660453,0.0,0.06833615398829829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05811047774584275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059750218019880924,0.0,0.0,0.15214128457954965,0.1597726851031498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418182823045104,0.09437532484430868,0.07271359274624599,0.0,0.17935378267956742,0.07557559363349964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234355253306394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386531230481963,0.1102192970465234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138441133418025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693212665012486,0.15459295117547314,0.14399445557378338,0.0,0.0767989953867068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962171441233866,0.12209424564003372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268566204015565,0.0,0.0,0.26408086486756105,0.0,0.04464528713022494,0.0,0.048564497517451864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571559985979875,0.0,0.08415327849474717,0.0,0.0,0.09646521795605917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817740156621764,0.0,0.09639388900626476,0.0,0.0,0.08738074145168423,0.0,0.16699066214446287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704005756424463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181212594033612,0.082530340338649,0.0,0.0,0.08372508693043029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580934704619007,0.19497091884513915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848369702327735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555263522577528,0.0,0.0,0.07779254241611433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240343588061085,0.13157067327797126,0.0,0.19131365308598006,0.06048356054680554,0.0,0.0,0.07144192876815858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736660463394107,0.1493781108117951,0.07867297457089968,0.1954442489596706,0.0,0.05677069493069802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049827909138048763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05801648595207695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20557713236386774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520098309411391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237294438402254,0.0,0.3110513721339263,0.0,0.0,0.060702844897560615,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CRB776,2019/03/24,"I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel like this My great nan has recently passed away at age 101, she had been living in a care home for 3 years now and she was in good health, even if we had to tell her the day 3 times a minute.

I was fairly close to her. Me and my family would visit maybe once or twice a month just to talk to her, we would be there for a few hours and it was nice I guess. She was the oldest relative I have and this is the first close family tradegy I’m experienced since my nan on the other side of my family died when I was 4, I don’t remember her much and it didn’t affect me much due to my age.

I feel sad about it, but I don’t know if I should feel worse, usually I’m an emotional brick wall as in breakups for instance, I won’t feel sad about it for more then a few hours. I don’t tend to have negative emotions for very long and I don’t know if it’s normal for me to not be crying sad, just a bit down.

Should I be feeling worse then I am, or is this a perfectly normal thing? Do I have a emotional registry problem? I don’t know where else to ask so any help is appreciated ",1.7160162601626006,2.3986350731707304,3.7465040650406496,92.5438211382114,76.3170731707317,7.743089430894308,20.98373983739837,8.167268648758528,0.5757983739837398,852,18,217,14,18,292,125,246,0.117,0.745,0.138,0.331,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,2,10,10,0,0,13,0,32,1,0,1,1,40,48,18,1,11,10,0,5,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,10,10,0,0,10,0,0,2,10,4,0,2,9,6,33,6,26,31,6,32,0,3,0,0,14,12,0,7,19,146,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860758122816505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806436988195632,0.0,0.10860394996921932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619822352152038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785533316352223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697409224167072,0.07454828011731217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996786015452154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656358250776484,0.39008157250650893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634845284623896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269139480912785,0.0,0.29223787286596137,0.08258005874273766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832381877729864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695438958098497,0.0,0.1274423023976899,0.12733933289427235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287054349831365,0.0,0.0,0.07747992326582671,0.0,0.11594976052286983,0.0,0.22767273412635056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541087790401147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564731720855841,0.0,0.10207122678030943,0.10229665860104034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612926276268075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922656727228216,0.0,0.16994912648525093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22651428200277765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310336344098576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060742082286107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141346901886142,0.0,0.1309449641253008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562018315363564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290972085126467,0.10103386200596218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679522155474758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740353146174244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730996982722434,0.09537678875834488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355994158262789,0.16422868977039412,0.0,0.0,0.0744384594950132
mentalhealth,jdmbb6,2019/03/24,"Help family member scaring me? One of my close family members age 19 (we are around the same age)has been acting really strange lately we have always been kind of close and he’s always had a sort of introvert stingy kind of personality since he was a kid.
But recently (past year or so) he’s been acting increasingly narcissistic. Not in a self image way but more of his actions and thoughts  way he always thinks everything he does is right he also doesn’t have any empathy for people he doesn’t know He always watching gore videos super excessively he also talks about and sometimes jokes about national tragedies in a strange way he also has a short temper road rages etc  and I can never have a normal conversation with him he’s always spouting about theories of how he feels everything that’s happening to him is destined or just really odd stuff In that way you can never disagree with him he’ll get angry about it. He also has a attachment to the females he dates he gets super in love and sort of upsessed with them he has actually been in legal trouble and other problems because of a girl. I’m just concerned because a lot of his behaviors don’t seem right I’m concerned for his mental health and wondering what it sounds like to you guys I would ask him to see a professional but I’m not completely sure if somethings wrong or some ppl are just that way.",4.8983460076045615,6.608815973384032,5.645724334600762,78.007141634981,69.87452471482891,8.75809885931559,28.7393536121673,9.255337874911486,2.5759993916349813,1103,41,198,23,20,359,146,263,0.14300000000000002,0.7490000000000001,0.108,-0.8487,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,2,2,1,2,14,14,2,1,12,0,22,2,0,1,3,45,38,20,0,4,12,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,5,8,15,0,0,6,2,0,4,7,6,0,1,7,4,16,8,28,29,6,30,0,0,2,1,39,13,0,10,9,119,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0993212128259798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255691761997503,0.42343966141795397,0.0,0.0,0.06921292487256303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060451495232227,0.09514923366400213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408655598974715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671290523005293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906712166456876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135100212041906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829440508555696,0.0,0.19189557525720774,0.0,0.05146230840223898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635021510485948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077679629527757,0.09000246260244456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818587168476196,0.0,0.0,0.06822003710512582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119734589503592,0.0559348460999985,0.0,0.11481067196082513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972387339497961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865285095000216,0.09185914259745756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256887056093894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15699583145578194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972139924592592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896780019350268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715917156852172,0.07056045259653959,0.08886913070502063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738835603578776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040392970867354,0.0,0.1004940695789707,0.0,0.0,0.1738367032673329,0.0,0.0,0.10189811449201153,0.0,0.08110435133695222,0.09265539714612624,0.106177256539476,0.0,0.0,0.08419229353595756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835412371628825,0.10066161858071687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651212435426822,0.0,0.0,0.09592510761612967,0.0,0.0,0.08180576769744596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521560474197656,0.0,0.0808008241349437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039354989681876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103745289628166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230058341322584,0.1112789003015994,0.0,0.06554206889667885
mentalhealth,muse413,2019/03/24,"I think my gf(22) is going to just shut down Hello.

Not sure if this is going to really be the right thread for this but here we go. My girlfriend has some extreme anxiety issues and has really bad depression. I don't fully understand all of her issues and sometimes they seem a little small for the reaction but again I don't fully understand but I don't need to as long as I'm there for her when she needs me. It has caused arguments between us and it's always going to but at the end of the day I still love her and always will.

Recently an incident at her workplace which is no fault of her own she has been suspended, this is as she puts it the only job she has ever been good at. This has knocked her down into a badly depressed state going from being busy 6 days a week to having to sit at home on her own all week without me . She isn't leaving the house and sometimes not waking up until night time. 

Now onto the big problem. So her cat went missing 2 days ago. She is a indoor cat. She may have escaped when taking bins out . It looks like she has scratched her collar off and because she is indoor I never thought I need to get her microchipped (yes I know I'm terrible) . Her cat is a way to keep her grounded and keep her going. When she feels down or depressed the cat is always there for comfort and there when I'm not. 

I'm about to go out and look for this cat. If the worst happens how am I supposed to go to the girl who is suspended and could loose her job and tell her that a week later something has happened to her cat. I genuinely fear that this will out her in such a state that I  cannot help. She has self harmed before and I don't want to leave her on her own. She has spend so long building herself up, gaining confidence and has made so much progress since I met her.

How do I handle this, how do I care for her if it gets so bad.",2.412856787461646,3.773638470437021,3.6822771374077483,91.01252591425491,75.60668380462725,6.561771291151838,23.08823285512895,7.1029339738359605,0.6546841529148355,1451,41,319,15,31,474,185,389,0.179,0.743,0.078,-0.9929,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,2,0,1,2,22,19,0,1,18,1,39,2,1,5,5,58,77,36,0,9,13,0,2,1,1,3,0,0,1,2,17,18,0,2,7,0,1,10,12,13,0,0,6,4,56,6,48,65,8,62,0,4,2,1,46,24,0,7,25,233,73,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983764811720724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22482517976039565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889987531303167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225602838316502,0.054903104263669296,0.0,0.07663912280560768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918277989037266,0.09252209743103776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190998801289981,0.0,0.0,0.17425442595117185,0.0,0.232719897939589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977131673801978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146941804515684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013487482829302,0.0455398324390708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411103244493642,0.0,0.4094904788678346,0.07554268398633557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928928154496616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036901870922402,0.0,0.09034305878594608,0.0,0.0,0.1039235161935622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18801000360842535,0.1787522600163187,0.16010874262670793,0.0,0.0,0.04949765368061725,0.0,0.0,0.19073275981471027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044001463069434005,0.09026931083442473,0.0,0.15941029976990426,0.15126470431576886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128764705204956,0.08522217152133622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620851934251669,0.2003473227805568,0.06946408041246993,0.0,0.0,0.08452038812836579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849888550659472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618053781655445,0.0,0.0905407225930824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153965551236522,0.0,0.08892883416686255,0.0,0.0,0.07691546089108574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819922656331244,0.09395797860162837,0.0,0.0,0.07450312780997906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933683652625941,0.17815420199891616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719264396051071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488568552724156,0.0,0.06771806129752092,0.0,0.07872123317387503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057710347719906616,0.0,0.07150196146047877,0.05251792826279695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875227626710124,0.10833772956482422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531229764677403,0.07148981656797734,0.2167353793855248,0.0,0.0,0.08349163819628254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681994606617091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tandoori7,2019/03/24,"Today I said enough, or at least i tried It's been a while, since I tried tu cut down any contact with that girl. Everytime I tried to talk, or do something, I mean, trying to be friends, I never worked, she was always bussy or she doesn't even care..
It's really depressing to be the only one who is trying to do something.
She says I am a good friend (maybe the only one she has on the University) but I don't see any interest to keep that friendship.  I love her, but she has a boyfriend (in another country)  and I don't even know why Everytime I tried to leave her she started to talk with me again.
Today I said enough, I told her to stop, that I don't want to have any contact with her again. She was angry, not sure why, I mean she doesn't even care about me or anything...
I was really hard to me to do it.",4.202674418604651,3.742187406976747,5.250558139534885,88.05374418604653,70.27906976744185,8.74046511627907,26.50232558139535,8.238735603445708,1.3126423255813957,622,16,147,8,10,206,84,172,0.14300000000000002,0.765,0.092,-0.6979,0,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,6,10,1,0,6,0,19,1,0,0,2,19,32,8,0,1,7,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,1,7,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,7,5,31,8,19,23,3,12,0,1,1,1,25,4,0,4,8,102,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09504568494957176,0.0,0.0,0.23303402295313705,0.11977655379313824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399876227457933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23292327096594265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983832065635874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23605323305499384,0.0,0.2263367837430948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650238164790075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580785590914202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232460070536184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015298539442167,0.0,0.0,0.06277595422120542,0.0,0.0,0.12094948051346815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309396972663397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475597671942744,0.24885251665306635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809859877659085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480580602454475,0.17374895903194898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635297479896348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21731131588128566,0.09083758014366873,0.0,0.0,0.09102381434225863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944894271335396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587444058263027,0.0,0.0,0.08085017816349581,0.0,0.0,0.09549855559147408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765722236204599,0.0,0.0,0.1836220347804111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165469286672343,0.10914841510268224,0.0,0.4653141961127266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737381049112087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061434864211445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315832807351486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sunshine_sugar,2019/03/24,"Why am I obsessed with a celebrity? I (41/F) have no reason to be obsessed with a male celebrity but I have been since around Christmas and it’s driving me up the wall. It affects the way I feel about myself and about my husband. Like, this celebrity is super talented, hot, rich, etc and only dates models. He’s dating one right now and she just seems like a fucking stuck up bitch and he’s pretty down to earth and seems genuine. I just don’t get why I’m stuck on this dude. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I just want to get past this. I feel like shit about myself because I’m not young and beautiful anymore. Is this normal?? I mean, I know it’s not normal but maybe I’m going through some sort of mid-life thing? 

My husband and I have no kids and don’t plan to since kids are so expensive and we don’t even have a house. We haven’t been intimate in months and months and months. IDK. 

I recently stopped drinking (4 months sober) and so maybe I traded addictions?

I spoke to a therapist about this celebrity I’m fixated on but she just kind of dismissed it, and I seriously am in love with this dude. This is so stupid!!! Help!!!",0.7318135376756096,3.0587318620689667,2.0533524904214566,95.64541507024269,85.98275862068968,4.988761174968072,20.66155810983397,6.42735559955562,0.15737113665389568,880,28,193,9,27,281,117,232,0.182,0.659,0.159,-0.6313,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,2,0,0,2,14,16,4,2,7,0,18,5,1,2,0,44,38,20,0,4,9,2,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,3,12,20,1,1,7,1,3,2,9,8,0,1,5,4,24,8,24,32,2,24,0,1,0,2,14,10,3,4,14,118,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386646433344358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308784918859084,0.09227629030444053,0.0,0.0,0.11748102189754155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044751086131366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928007528069435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718111226242073,0.08716474940831184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345570214647487,0.09427918783018256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220038711882482,0.13789745418445085,0.0,0.07500142794321807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845651540892625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227532777704467,0.14127630497258184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742614584796964,0.0725271018002521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19342120408304636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910781652172732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651626250519289,0.14375370340805713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4213478566786823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25860459370328176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942609150351713,0.10036891191644574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598002173064926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342606399448448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568684232149264,0.13030416856149749,0.0,0.0,0.11270141203168885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402805367211001,0.0,0.0,0.13546501177513906,0.21833341717478197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033258751836267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532270059104223,0.08767481190557103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15567830940305494,0.10475141382181136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23816427500953635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SolidsControl,2019/03/24,"Feel like I am living in a dream world/alternate reality This strange feeling comes and goes. I'll just describe how I am feeling now.

I keep hearing these noises at work that seems like they are not really what they really are. Like this bulldozer keeps backing up and making a really loud ""beep beep beep"" and it seems like a heart monitor in an ER. The hum of the computers at my work desk kind of seem like they could be some kind of ventalator machine  My stomach ache, that is in reality just a result of eating like shit today and being a little bloated and backed up, seem like it could be the result of some kind of injury. I have a weird taste In my mouth that could be from a breathing tube.
My sister who I was talking to all day and telling her how depressed I am and who was really nice about it might actually be the nurse in the ER who is super nice but cant do shit to save my life.

I keep thinking about accident I had about 15 years ago when I was 18 and my heart stopped on in the er and I had to get the paddles. What if I never actually recovered and I am still in the ER and I am dying and everything that I think has been my life since that day has actually been a dream.

Diagnose me, lol. My brain tells me all this shit is in my head and not real, but it fucking feels like it could be real.",2.8230769230769246,4.085766692307693,4.392087912087913,86.72791208791212,74.38461538461539,7.837362637362638,24.35531135531136,8.418075326091056,1.352153113553113,1029,31,225,18,21,345,132,273,0.1,0.768,0.132,0.5112,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,3,12,21,4,0,17,1,33,16,10,5,3,53,51,19,1,5,7,1,4,8,0,1,3,2,0,0,19,14,2,4,10,2,0,1,4,6,4,0,7,7,29,15,26,33,4,27,0,1,0,1,12,14,4,8,20,156,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.2578994832824447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808952350172901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354768426320957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834141857368936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588470231102334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813417895626669,0.0,0.0,0.1136259681281998,0.0,0.07587475486416426,0.08941299205181093,0.0914270874718704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014158651470824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917270782814306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781707702759427,0.12586794903868115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814409701370383,0.04602518895027991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040928925574143,0.0,0.0992877146509262,0.2087823123246149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349045039846161,0.0,0.2752072995155294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444601049554052,0.3443040585991874,0.08829277460103957,0.07778812564618998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588030584162574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345322357034973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794309536688932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20053925243181775,0.2257396658307831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207878541070353,0.0,0.0,0.2712799652456106,0.07287180781588877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035153875891978,0.07365006436034023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708061739562126,0.15399510714523384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289344465534945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835022851109995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826615390734664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672929015117845
mentalhealth,chickenlittle121,2019/03/24,"Depression Fog? Hey guys, so I’m in high school right now. Recently, I tried to think back and recall memories from elementary school, but I can’t seem to remember anything. To be honest its kind of scary because elementary school is not that long ago. My mental health was probably at its worse then because of family issues. Can this be why I don’t remember much? Do any of you guys have parts of your life that you just can’t remember?",3.9247226890756295,5.8353982117647085,4.971596638655463,81.04647058823531,72.76470588235293,9.563025210084033,26.26050420168067,9.957137785484203,2.6468151260504214,348,12,68,10,7,114,62,85,0.131,0.82,0.049,-0.809,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,0,9,13,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,7,2,10,10,2,10,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,1,6,42,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318890779520842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117901914189947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224375193841174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440661344419073,0.0,0.18139611997116992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814845077974474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402614187880647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946414248550629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815168051675302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719970327871086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529306415239275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493686114408842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509136720951323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316701953810852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994045890931804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937422099205388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111984245944105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041558029504185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690740794872478,0.0,0.5056337884248021,0.12706172409152555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4517356125157142,0.0,0.13544843277045934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533553064963328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101536539356508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425547583738845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516248015221105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mhjjythydrhdrtyuijnd,2019/03/24,"Why do I want to be abused? Throwaway account. Ever since I was younger I have wanted to be abused, and trust me, I don’t have some warped opinion of what it’s like. It fascinates me, but I want to be a woman who is beaten and ridiculed by a man (not in a sexual way). I hate myself and feel so so disgusted at myself and I am so confused why I am like this. Please help. ",0.9459107142857164,2.410281912500004,3.02714285714286,93.71500000000002,79.875,6.071428571428572,21.42857142857143,6.868970318607317,0.3198571428571433,283,8,67,3,7,96,52,80,0.275,0.5329999999999999,0.192,-0.9205,0,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,8,4,1,3,0,11,0,0,0,1,14,16,8,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,1,1,12,3,7,12,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,3,49,17,1,0.0,0.5589224594979891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335322324266376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926033436769062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328676676310869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809520964628151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304632633573811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25890873139341897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19510980735260236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4173575261586276,0.1872185067696268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4256626073706689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bettinman77,2019/03/24,I do not want to sleep. When ever I get in to bed I always do everything in my power to not go to sleep until I fall asleep out of my control or I am forced to sleep. I think this is because I fear any failure that that I might have to deal with and nighttime is were I can get away from all the trouble and if i go to sleep it gets rid of the security of the night. This results in less than two hours of sleep before I have to get up and do stuff the next day and because of the lack of sleep I am grumpy and of course that gets me in the trouble that I fear. I know it is a evil cycle but I do not know how to stop. What can I do? ,0.8500815047021923,1.54063015862069,2.897115987460815,97.76993730407526,78.44827586206897,5.824451410658307,20.078369905956112,5.565023196281405,-0.41879310344827614,483,10,129,2,11,164,74,145,0.146,0.8420000000000001,0.012,-0.9275,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,6,1,2,7,0,16,7,7,3,2,25,27,11,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,3,3,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,1,0,19,1,27,25,3,18,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,3,8,97,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174518403233633,0.0,0.0,0.08315330872636821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148843106427732,0.0,0.0,0.14907920331362132,0.0,0.10404966644185888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714529925481786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885926592273214,0.12606336345650082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106075521546898,0.0,0.0,0.10989568182861173,0.0,0.0,0.2751937409275046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194263313540332,0.0,0.1389869370157955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041930850431473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344017041579717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971775255733534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004415850000325,0.11474972403584753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7341985140720015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222997623334618,0.0,0.0,0.13997918256790898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835087629761606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944794695985694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212279811562057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Have_A_Brilliant_Day,2019/03/24,Just being lazy or mental illness? (Just created this alternate account) So basically I'm in high-school and lately I've been feeling no motivation to do homework and usually I do it on the day or get some random excuse. I just feel extremely lethargic and I basically do nothing in my spare time except go on my devices. When I have an assignment I leave it to the night before usually. I just see no point of completing it. I like to read books but I find myself thinking I'll start soon but I just never start but when I do I get really focused. I also get bored easily with doing things I don't like. I should tell my parents but I'm too embarrassed to do so.,1.809072494669508,4.144717305970151,4.345842217484009,80.95283582089553,81.16417910447761,7.709168443496803,25.24307036247335,8.634040054169528,2.194895095948827,525,21,100,13,14,184,82,134,0.119,0.748,0.134,0.4576,1,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,1,3,0,11,1,0,1,1,25,23,14,0,1,12,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,5,2,1,1,4,2,0,0,1,3,18,2,11,20,1,18,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,4,14,73,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748288743035878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693026293940834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19336385063375064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189374820665883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18649946965095127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855914484469672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890599838520548,0.0,0.10481175633186453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194852867751633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080370089853145,0.1952771708048008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18019937902263405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858548572364462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422382721110097,0.0,0.0,0.17306835265284096,0.0,0.1769586995852402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477975122332573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743392050653323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447275858748288,0.0,0.11814600086035708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664577122465847,0.14696113505537894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26107088651899546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16119370066676655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225223475591134,0.11817071634524198,0.0,0.0,0.10753844759181758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062314309436904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chrisspaeth84927,2019/03/24,"Lack of emotions? Since about September, I havent really felt emotions. If anything they were a subtle feeling that I should feel one way or another. Before I was fairly emotive.

The only major thing that happened when I stopped feeling emotions was two people trying to have sex with me. ",4.783846153846152,7.587446615384617,5.031384615384617,77.51361538461539,73.23076923076924,6.467692307692308,31.55384615384615,7.554174236665415,2.585803076923076,232,11,34,3,5,73,43,52,0.085,0.8540000000000001,0.061,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,0,10,11,3,0,3,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,4,6,0,4,6,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,27,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837950543103416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423947818033594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914930806386886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7886600165102099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658786106487749,0.0,0.16829508930109566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549984215286721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877341860651945,0.13330738926081806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151621698532587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228805680163312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499239493695368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654088513690133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644741440252572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900276701010873,0.0,0.17122187170746386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391281147850839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrjazzcabbage,2019/03/24,"do you think that people dealing with mental health problems are more likely to become friends with people who are also dealing with mental health problems without necessarily knowing I have a great group of friends at university but as i get to know them all better i've found out that nearly all of us are tackling depression and/or anxiety and taking medication. I actually think it's great that we're friends because i would feel comfortable talking to any of them about issues i have and feel like they're more likely to understand what i'm going through than other friends and i can get lots of different advice, they also just know what to say and do when someone's feeling low. It also feels great to be able to help others and just be there to listen if need be.

Was just wondering whether anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation and maybe in that case we are subconsciously drawn to each other? Or maybe I'm just lucky?",8.893163841807912,8.273770858757063,8.279999999999998,70.72757062146893,60.751412429378526,10.8045197740113,37.18079096045197,9.994966539143718,3.6858655367231634,770,31,131,13,9,243,106,177,0.066,0.7040000000000001,0.23,0.9888,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,2,1,3,1,10,17,0,0,2,0,15,3,0,0,2,42,36,15,0,5,9,0,4,3,4,1,3,2,0,0,12,12,0,0,13,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,3,6,12,13,26,29,6,8,0,2,0,0,18,6,0,5,4,92,24,0,0.1058662370531559,0.0,0.10331017597558986,0.0,0.0,0.10345126159856052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539835745689725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199267150410199,0.0,0.08098738157703089,0.0,0.0,0.07402413446018348,0.1084724705540467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453507549271714,0.1169209413373873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363008354501587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21828688366186835,0.0911824348465664,0.0,0.0,0.11060768524059114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884376565990802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411660151434272,0.07563086090384892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321537292238309,0.3271679685388508,0.0,0.11062147878495243,0.0,0.060166222205698776,0.0,0.0,0.3501537002752586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22506171891815266,0.0,0.0,0.0709599071322284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049684657161188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454394572939133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516268774195624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000368893013007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21271372901858665,0.0,0.0,0.1066490961380386,0.21337653388977465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784984733486962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146788637940575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202599382624512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841890808642882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899808606920073,0.0,0.0,0.08970011910621463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959823504821056,0.08509127120154046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566962002473204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102104863457121,0.12734404820898265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205127467376313,0.11480741813282358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520433735183288,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JonnyXX_MF,2019/03/24,"Attracted to the thing that contributed to PTSD? I have a strong obsession with weather sirens, namely the Thunderbolt 1000. I have a strong feeling that weather sirens had a significant role in giving me PTSD, as well as a shitty family, and for the past couple years, I have been obsessed with them. Mostly the Thunderbolt 1000, probably because that was the kind of weather siren my town had at the time. Is this normal? Or perhaps the right question is: Is this *weird?*",6.488156862745098,8.120375952941178,6.038529411764706,77.00171568627455,65.94117647058823,9.431372549019608,31.81372549019608,9.725611199111238,3.1800196078431373,376,15,63,8,6,116,56,85,0.08199999999999999,0.728,0.19,0.8418,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,1,8,0,2,11,0,10,0,0,0,0,9,12,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,1,6,5,10,8,1,7,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,3,3,47,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684421647519552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665400368165139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22708951158278504,0.0,0.12180114590264005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310834938852379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508497092599978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360209068787128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299566187256824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25972000065473394,0.0,0.5631746866849159,0.0,0.2698517618166305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20571861538353728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16003651226796314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046480850362644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21658890452456125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512516527723316
mentalhealth,randmthrwawyz,2019/03/24,"Ive rexently started mildly hallucinating and I don't know why Firstly I need to state I don't have any mental health issues that I'm aware of, and I'm not on any medication that could cause hallucinations.

Recently, the past 3 months, I've gradually started mildly hallucinating. It started with simple things like thinking I'd heard stuff like a door opening or someone shouting my name which I put down to just being mistaken.

As time has gone on these auditory hallucinations have progressed into much more pronounced things. Hearing conversations happening out of sight, then when I go to investigate, nobody is there. Or hearing my alarm on my phone go off when it is not set. Up until this morning, these auditory hallucinations would stop when the visual cues that typically accompany them weren't seen upon me investigating the noise.

For the first time ever this morning however, this wasn't the case. I do not have to be up for work on a Sunday until half past 5 and set an alarm for this. At 3am I was woken by the sound of my alarm. Seeing it was still completely black outside I was confused. So I checked my phone. It was 3am, my alarm was not ringing. There was nothing on my screen to say it was, and my phone was not vibrating. But I could still hear it plain as day for several minutes until it suddenly stopped. I know it was not actually ringing as it did not wake up anybody else in my house.

I have also had increasingly more vivid visual hallucinations. For example I will occasionally see animals in unusual locations where they should not be, and upon a second look they will not be there. I have also hallucinated people, originally the hallucinations were obvious as just that as they'd be featureless, however as of late a few of them have not been featureless and have made me think somewhere was there when there isn't. None of these visual hallucinations have persisted upon me looking directly at them as of yet.

I would seek a doctor about this but mental health is severely underfunded where I live and it would likely take me many months or even years before I'd even get to see an assessor.

So I would like to know if anybody else has experienced this or might have any idea why this has started on so suddenly with seemingly no trigger of any note?

Thanks in advance",6.487132936507938,7.502251701388893,7.280383597883599,70.34583333333335,65.55092592592592,10.523280423280424,33.02116402116402,10.530516587383797,3.6012775132275134,1853,76,329,47,28,617,205,432,0.049,0.925,0.026,-0.6652,2,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,6,6,25,10,0,5,14,0,52,5,1,4,2,57,84,34,0,9,19,0,0,4,0,8,4,9,1,0,28,12,0,2,7,0,1,6,17,5,0,4,21,20,37,5,55,47,6,67,0,0,10,0,16,24,0,8,38,243,65,2,0.0,0.0,0.08750054834529604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341086174469714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243902332910172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629869686606702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211112036354024,0.0,0.0,0.09401252217398227,0.0,0.0,0.14318113715772593,0.0,0.0,0.057826799753185415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177639124047872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980796177563233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844637293462384,0.08110753625206535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15253877810342542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04684649871634102,0.0,0.10191788727777376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929086451994008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19062036852522946,0.3031784487816704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346189477429966,0.0,0.10122138303128242,0.0,0.09358743777308604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478333650818867,0.0,0.1011465372464354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17522404586564702,0.0,0.0791762383021928,0.0,0.1505927964546018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484362024428896,0.0,0.09090669643096352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032851124765776,0.18072337543772465,0.0951208765868563,0.0,0.0,0.14314021925762746,0.0,0.06591442545707464,0.06648579771950491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603642104825089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119164269400836,0.0621627356132577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013854666221197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853381813829582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071305567634037,0.0,0.0,0.21435527255210565,0.08162806138545807,0.0,0.202592880689542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597324788495823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538626783383291,0.0,0.1432138941883608,0.14992866837515192,0.0,0.0,0.10264549213405376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741726212606444,0.0,0.0,0.08255190276850644,0.0,0.0,0.1191394862996072,0.11490800430701938,0.0,0.0,0.10456929416378452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181825066311634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527751815274155,0.0,0.0,0.2547830625236696,0.0,0.0,0.05774161234008266
mentalhealth,rrrevo,2019/03/24,"Hi there Hi, Im an Indonesian college-stud who lived in Malang. How do I survived this depressed-stage? Family-probs, academic-probs, and try to know about what is the purpose of my existence in this anarchy world. Idk, it seems like I was going into the darkness, everyday. Also, my gf has cheated on me— we’re in a long distance relationship. To be honest, I’ve never falling in love with someone like this. Its been one hell of a ride though. Well, I’ve tried myself to tell a complete story to someone who are jn charge about what Ive been through— they’re a community and try to waking up people from mental disease. But then, it didnt worked. I used to be extrovert when I was in junior high. And knowing that people are just being people, I urge myself to become introvert. So, I can be able to count my friends. They’re amazing, but then again, they’re just basic bitches. Everyone is fake. I rather be busy at my room instead of socializing to fake people. Please reddit, help me. This is my first-ever post in reddit. I really am— need your help.",2.5828640776699032,4.874591509708743,4.007582524271847,84.675645631068,78.07766990291263,6.644271844660195,24.377669902912626,7.7348632917899725,1.4178396116504857,825,29,156,13,20,272,133,206,0.112,0.768,0.12,-0.3425,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,0,2,14,12,3,0,7,0,19,2,1,2,1,17,26,12,0,2,5,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,12,5,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,5,1,1,5,0,18,7,26,16,0,24,1,0,0,1,13,13,2,1,9,102,30,2,0.15461291393477108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236438914135292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707578161212351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621086986268206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147739265055538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315136656088726,0.0,0.0,0.11945355377208833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787008204513025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072675542202531,0.16335703241010965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700847875879146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994242804306325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107211989716973,0.0,0.1365260356442984,0.13682756344761082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954419131731852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581345190079196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464351658951387,0.11924701081029625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047697118958642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4287565077639045,0.0,0.0,0.16971855011371811,0.0,0.0,0.14807643259259046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904899175654266,0.0,0.0,0.16599640729818144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407537899912755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760839489312442,0.2620060404781232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513850161902902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190640292827112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31491605851047005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353591561064415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901557789185806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256004277543087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cenestpasjuste,2019/03/24,"I hate myself I can’t fall asleep at night because I can’t stop think about all the stupid embarrassing crap I’ve done. I laid in bed for 4 hours last night before falling asleep. I couldn’t fall asleep because i kept repeating “I fucking hate myself” in my head and it wouldn’t stop. 

I feel directionless and I don’t know what I am pursuing in my future. I am so tired of myself and hearing my thoughts. I wish I was someone better and happier. :( ",3.3406593406593394,4.731904164835164,4.392087912087913,86.7279120879121,73.28571428571429,7.397802197802199,26.186813186813183,7.957251820313856,1.4129956043956051,353,12,74,5,7,115,56,91,0.29600000000000004,0.611,0.093,-0.9561,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,5,1,1,0,9,7,5,0,1,15,19,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,2,4,0,3,4,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,4,2,19,1,7,13,1,15,0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,8,44,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24871029004392906,0.0,0.1735870741493579,0.0,0.0,0.1804194467700448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876054164522645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314740019143198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885926479566398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028111212691079,0.20936056179006268,0.0,0.2299203089559658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20089670778553864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211183746805434,0.16628540691987778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3828761693524399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17284664556098064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411025344251536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071353170691113,0.0,0.16195143983245702,0.0,0.23446542331248704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23458736388271664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flannelonflannel,2019/03/24,"Does therapy always make you feel worse But i'm scared to go back because 1) money 2) my family will be upset that I need to go back (I'm a minor) and 3) sometimes I felt like therapy made me feel worse. Like I'd want to self harm after because they would have me talk about really tough stuff. I want to STOP feeling suicidal and hurting myself, not feel that way more.

I shouldn't have left. but in some ways leaving helped me at first, because I wasn't being forced to confront my darkest truths on a weekly basis anymore lol. I guess I could be doing a lot better now if I had stayed, but at the time it just seemed so painful and embarrassing. Does anyone actually have...g o o d therapy sessions? Should I find a different psychologist and set boundaries? Or am I expecting the wrong things from therapy?",2.3216874999999995,4.64962479375,3.87125,85.11875,79.1875,7.0,24.375,8.07648339933343,1.5784374999999995,637,23,124,12,16,211,110,160,0.219,0.657,0.124,-0.9476,1,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,1,1,2,6,13,1,3,6,1,14,1,0,2,1,33,30,10,1,9,7,0,5,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,7,0,1,2,3,9,0,1,4,5,18,4,12,18,3,19,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,6,10,74,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.11315420981202325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648287395517227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499503988141767,0.08107761275946461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832267301296426,0.0,0.2120531323341204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255173818185434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257969659306928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114707098643693,0.0,0.0,0.2029439529669012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931094962914724,0.0,0.2345189583039327,0.0,0.1113338590896409,0.0,0.10597969832183474,0.09863026705770674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317984654806717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773621454593145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777214068610148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413097133472226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277836168486772,0.1259841736486126,0.0,0.0,0.11329836683851426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985797982133179,0.0,0.10971831591784538,0.07740008074000017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597829438719208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338304858986257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742829915318345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609001036747955,0.0,0.0,0.10556001029969984,0.12096513143454317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468130105154027,0.0,0.0,0.1235913527458012,0.0,0.09694259246931464,0.0,0.0,0.1327393916134184,0.1268346680161425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319929487861764,0.0,0.0,0.5304132322310193,0.0,0.07703457112316002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761360971711074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678514430073066,0.184077503285642,0.09301116677929896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363337143588516,0.08237027269699107,0.12677730843299514,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ninapotato,2019/03/24,"My body is anxious, my mind not that much Soo.. I have a very weird question that I’ll ask but for you to understand the question I’ll gibe you a backstory first.

I am a very anxious person by nature and I am aware of that. However, at the high school I believed I started developing anxiety. 
I have a very intense fear of failure and how people I love think of me as. At the start of high school when school started getting hard and I started getting lower grades I started to have panic attacks about exams and how to tell my family about my bad grades. 

During this time my parents noticed the panic attacks and contacted my school where they did some tests with me (one of them was where they asked me some questions and I put my finger on something apparently the colour changed if I was anxious). School counselors don’t have a right to diagnose someone but they flagged me as a high risk student so they would monitor me.

A year or so later I got into a relationship (not romantic or sexual it was supposed to be a friendship) which was emotionally abusive for me and when I left that relationship I was left with no friends because the person lied about me to the whole school. I felt worthless and started to develop social anxiety as well.

I then generalized those feeling to things other things in my life. I tried to spend as little money as possible and had panic attacks when I spent money because I felt unworthy and I thought my parents would love me more if I spent less money. For this reason I never went to the counselor because I was afraid they would call my parents and I thought they would hate me for being like this and I didn’t want them to take me to a psychologist because it would cost money.

In my last year at high school I had a couple of friends (it was 2 years after the incident) and one of my friends noticed the signs and told the counselor at our school. With her help and my psychology teachers’ help, I am not in a much better place mentally. I still have panic attacks now and then but they are not frequent as they were and they are not as intense. I still get uncomfortable when spending money or when in a social situation but I can act in a normal way and not lose my shit. However, I noticed that my body is still reacting the same as before. My teachers tought me how to calm my breathing and control it but I notice that when in these situations my immunity starts to go down,  my muscles start to contract, and I get nauseous or acid reflux. I end up getting sick very easily, having a sore throat and sore muscles for days afterwards. 
I thought all of this would go away when my mind was more relaxed? I don’t want to go to a therapist, I don’t think my situation is that sever and I don’t think they can help me because my mind is calm most of the time. I don’t want to take medicine because again my mind is calm and also the responsibility of taking medication every day and the thought people finding about it (I am normally vocal about my struggles here in uni but the thought of people from back home knowing about them terrifies me) makes me more anxious.

Does anybody here have the same struggles? Does anyone have any recommendations?",5.4381504393396165,6.3572948836833625,5.929712754639662,79.43989321880295,67.8529886914378,8.55921825131014,32.706607825367435,8.700769036622559,2.637777461680917,2539,109,476,39,41,820,248,619,0.174,0.7140000000000001,0.112,-0.9934,7,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,1,2,13,4,30,31,6,9,33,0,47,15,6,7,2,94,93,59,0,13,18,3,5,1,3,6,7,0,1,2,22,28,0,1,18,1,10,6,14,19,1,3,25,7,95,12,70,60,13,72,0,2,1,2,43,27,1,12,39,353,117,13,0.0,0.055574872117981865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03750999057649941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031897075638990316,0.0,0.07176454441808389,0.21195764262427869,0.0,0.032797135689744863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876998713393703,0.21344528537072555,0.04406888435870237,0.036067125710244036,0.03916379828374955,0.17155747728365886,0.0,0.039912784368317696,0.05284598413507492,0.0,0.04148374819998432,0.0,0.10420198157306974,0.0,0.0,0.047895350195177516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04961937515276394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526080567432154,0.0,0.051899599690236733,0.0,0.06049981674812184,0.0,0.0,0.047607687953272616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209393612285003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05276192291386045,0.04154399537971214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0395195687524767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044217952716466766,0.052781276561264634,0.0237166273017018,0.0,0.09007250112947206,0.0,0.0428704105599568,0.039897453091078665,0.0,0.0,0.10871628897544024,0.0,0.12252989097298407,0.0,0.07997174575601593,0.0,0.03751429238516717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042017755438459314,0.046309074287815125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431849705716726,0.19823124866927774,0.04704963852005201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02577781563475293,0.03823391587486813,0.0,0.0,0.10192505421125847,0.0,0.033130458442036825,0.022915462013251432,0.047011231424838484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247480771505154,0.0,0.0,0.08466736595682894,0.0,0.031309517683482384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04725195239005876,0.04726930740915709,0.0,0.1894431146525415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896128919863116,0.0,0.03617610381421967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191407588770097,0.0,0.2136070635459036,0.0,0.0,0.06356821774191443,0.0,0.0,0.22013210876803216,0.1562476841716013,0.0,0.0,0.0975542688480752,0.0819114461435818,0.04900584502093031,0.0,0.0,0.052878451294001066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471525795849134,0.1576333362289142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04822625361562525,0.0,0.10071704476952807,0.0,0.0400566981034268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797637131608943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298941065606967,0.04814740988984385,0.0,0.15816988894604794,0.0,0.09562768268827572,0.03974253801366913,0.03610983664405138,0.0,0.0,0.2655973628872705,0.0,0.11237541751180158,0.0,0.0,0.0980707869417632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580039069330432,0.0,0.0409971237907623,0.0,0.0,0.05446043493510082,0.06232332689476351,0.0901646801284916,0.0,0.1861870455460795,0.05470148064039215,0.0,0.0,0.044819831992167485,0.0,0.031845483164251,0.0,0.0,0.0488298620642073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480647528886918,0.08299752765196028,0.037231084187193834,0.0,0.0,0.04217331691114701,0.04348149652414853,0.0,0.052367867749983116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19992021855348532,0.0,0.0,0.09061603737954542
mentalhealth,Mental_Health95,2019/03/24,"I just need a place to vent and to ask questions. So from the time I could comprehend things my brain has put thoughts/ideas in my head of people I know hating me.  Of me being completely unfeeling to anything I've done or do.  To me being in complete utter mess mentally due to whatever is in my fucking mind that makes me this way.  My brain just cycles through caring about people, to not caring about people and being basically a frickin sociopath or something, to being a complete mental break down were I'm flooded with thoughts of people I know hating me, me offending my friends, my closet friend hating and wishing I was dead.  I know most of these are most likely in accurate but I still can't shake this thoughts.  Right now I'm in the complete mental break down stage, I've kept track of all of these stages my mind goes in.  What's wrong with my brain and why is it like this all the time? ",4.9180508474576285,5.8787801977401175,5.029166666666669,85.27730932203391,69.05649717514125,7.707909604519775,28.309322033898304,7.793537801064563,1.6379796610169493,713,24,140,8,12,223,98,177,0.096,0.82,0.083,-0.5144,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,7,14,5,1,6,0,14,5,4,1,2,29,32,8,1,3,6,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,9,6,0,1,6,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,6,0,21,6,27,21,4,22,0,0,0,1,4,10,1,5,7,94,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687831855021275,0.0,0.0986973386291336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535661402779095,0.0,0.0,0.2152792403119676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4427688731905725,0.0,0.0,0.08429216302184239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803874712350944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313225585763352,0.09760136298442272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31269708724425666,0.10834927239895704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918007482187147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17406195197099034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315614285968068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047139344511824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.319180959028282,0.0,0.2131990726128461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07828170401854287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927665779563852,0.0,0.11030224804141267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061309222797039,0.11826692200281418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015952786932048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127594078922458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431144741237874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013860345614083,0.0,0.0,0.1676277568208462,0.1231219721494872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379964228986599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526401756244716,0.0,0.12140476684510003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542847884753625,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,snakeeater34,2019/03/24,Ex tried to kill herself tonight i'm suffering from depersonalization can't type very well but i'm in another state and cant do anything and now i'm going into a depersonalization episode from ptsd and i'm scared,1.9192857142857136,4.751813785714287,3.9971428571428578,78.87285714285716,89.7142857142857,6.609523809523811,26.04761904761905,7.793537801064563,1.961590476190476,177,8,34,4,6,60,31,42,0.249,0.7509999999999999,0.0,-0.8506,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,8,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,0,0,1,1,5,8,0,6,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,16,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792989585699332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976678782993437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20557597959309787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4001938066769469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4228357817822718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621486413400974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455867257323413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984600295767893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252331503359865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PatdnLite,2019/03/24,"Need help on a diagnosis , or some advice? Alright so I’m kind of scared I might be developing schizophrenia or something is wrong with me. Something definitely is wrong with me, I just don’t know how serious it is.

Some symptoms I’m experiencing: 

-  Anhedonia
- poor concentration
- headaches
- sleeping excessively 
- disconnection from self
- bitterness
- can’t express emotions, even a smile or frown 
- anxiety. I used to have social anxiety but now it’s different. It’s like a deep feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and it keeps me up at night and I don’t know why I have it. 
- social isolation 

I don’t really feel depressed. Like when I imagine someone depressed i think of someone who is consumed with guilt and can’t get out of bed because everything is so heavy and gloomy. I feel more like everything is white. Everything is 0. Just pure blank space with nothing to be found.

Please someone any advice? Cause i don’t know what to do. I thought I had depersonalization or something but I don’t think that’s it. I don’t really care about a diagnosis but maybe just some advice or tips on how to feel better",2.6641428571428527,5.512271414285713,4.0374285714285705,81.07757142857143,82.47619047619048,7.3599999999999985,27.923809523809524,8.364918446050245,2.4585752380952397,887,41,163,21,25,291,113,210,0.165,0.6970000000000001,0.138,-0.6312,1,1,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,11,16,1,3,5,1,22,3,2,4,1,43,40,17,0,1,11,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,9,9,0,1,12,0,1,0,8,9,0,0,3,7,18,7,21,34,4,11,0,2,1,0,6,8,0,9,6,101,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340544702429678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749051217954869,0.0,0.17434423663878315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946340438542488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078030135197598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618052593965908,0.11705895239684455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962914677401898,0.0,0.0,0.11905442597444595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817941294828786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526348760177064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30723513477652264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304679736262513,0.0814065379930446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494126836869708,0.0,0.0,0.059534636442937265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637887903043412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128478602329616,0.0,0.11866231583752462,0.18787328584742446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701194570331354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447898421391978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088388590194955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449314045467156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693519024312743,0.0,0.1093389514331491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508385750122086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599971496590766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140847189546588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887562917204385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140331831415184,0.23231716267430255,0.2896506558328389,0.2631748848643937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843860486606154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460302572925388,0.0,0.09046427756484676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841698169319188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028229535508516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491748179989479,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,patheticgorlt69,2019/03/24,"why does my shitty mental health always ruin my love life recently, i had a falling out w a close friend. a year ago, i dated a boy and it ended toxic: he was mentally ill and didn’t want to get help and put his shit onto me and i didn’t want to watch him destroy himself. at this time, i was also very depressed after the death of my grandmother.
after i went to college and he got help we reconnected and begun to fall for each other again. this time, my EDNOS (which developed along w my depression) started to flair up again and being in college only helped it, and he told me he would leave me if i could get help. so he left. we remained friends, but i always resented him for that. so one night i drunk texted him and then deleted him off my snapchat, he told me i was crazy. we haven’t spoken since. i’ve been home from college for the week and had to see him at a friends party, him and his new gf. does being jealous make me a bad person? or am i just jealous bc im unlovable bc of my dumb brain?",1.875190476190476,3.4745907095238096,3.5133333333333354,90.65333333333336,77.61904761904762,6.0,22.619047619047624,6.691623216298621,0.5096190476190476,779,23,169,7,18,259,125,210,0.218,0.6859999999999999,0.096,-0.9843,0,0,0,1,0,0,23.0,3,0,0,0,6,15,6,0,8,0,14,7,2,1,0,27,26,18,1,5,4,0,0,0,4,1,3,0,1,2,7,18,1,0,0,1,0,4,3,11,0,1,12,2,34,4,22,10,1,30,0,3,2,1,31,9,2,2,17,108,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629257079983273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491309300291572,0.21832221390496132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953868952088383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645212147803074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474503657633297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22598858095901703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296115947527856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116195951638418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30407264733780315,0.0,0.1370833705870313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049251248921779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13944949641917168,0.0,0.0,0.3517372341455913,0.0,0.13159489047966705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170838416671966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891192625086296,0.14253899464443598,0.0,0.09266381607507784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184046583646152,0.0,0.08757075888634283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264418581192996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670472021287052,0.0,0.1231135116357326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889816069649167,0.09977637969483756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145505908584383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188281018707398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295349122548552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454194041433762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466528820690787,0.1085222381918288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285739747485766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299661337206966,0.0,0.0,0.25071652271303524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824600253039043,0.15475925575620875,0.0,0.1052332036594125,0.0,0.0,0.1216150209219721,0.11837913094484563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319405381476216,0.0,0.0,0.08448245930434065
mentalhealth,mossyfox,2019/03/24,"Generational Family Mental Illness This may be triggering for any with sexual abuse FYI. 

I'm looking for any answers or similar experiences. My Grandmother just passed away on my mother's side, my mother has been gone for about 8 years so I can't hear her thoughts on the subject, but maybe someone else could fill in some blanks? 

My Grandmother came from a very poor family with 8 kids, from what I understand, they grew up hearing their drunken father sexually assault their mother, he molested all of his daughters and beat his wife and children. They lived in an absolute nightmare. 

When my Grandma got married to my Grandfather she seemed to have come out of that situation being able to function, love and have a normal life and they loved each other very much, she had a son, my uncle and then a daughter about a year later and that's when the problems started, she didn't bond with my mother, she was a sick baby that cried all the time and couldn't gain weight, I'm wondering if she suffered a mental breakdown or some sort of PPD or psychosis, if you look at her pictures of when my mom was about 3, My Grandmas eyes are unfocused or almost looking in different directions, she looks like a totally different person. 

My mother ended up being molested by her brother for years, and we suspect maybe my grandmother molested my uncle because they grew up very secluded and don't think my uncle's behaviors came out of no where, but it's never been confirmed. My mother begged her parents to help her and told her what was going on but they didn't do anything to stop it. My Grandmother became a hypochondriac, had delusion's if she thought something in her mind, it became the truth. 

My mother was the kindest person I've ever known and suffered with crippling depression her entire life and I have always been resentful of my Grandmother for how my mother was treated. 

With her death I feel like there may have been undiagnosed mental illness that may have caused a lot of these behaviors, does anyone know anything about mental breakdowns being left untreated or maybe even postpartum psychosis? 

Any thoughts would be welcomed! 


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mentalhealth,ratorture,2019/03/24,"What could this aversion to outside stimulae be? I'm not 100% that this is the best place to ask, but vague googling never did me right. Is there a 'term' for the feeling of being very stuck in my own head? I often get a feeling like outside things - music, tv, people talking - is overwhelming and a bit too much, because my imagination or the narration in my head is already taking up 99% of the focus. Anything coming from outside is just interruption. Things like music sound very, very loud. I startle easily when I'm like this. I'm not able to silence thoughts. Best is to sit quiet and sometimes (when no one's looking, because it's weird, I know) react to the thoughts with expression and sometimes gesture until they can be put aside again and I can put the outside thing in front of them. It feels completely pointless to do anything like watch a movie when I'm like this, it's like there are two movies playing at once. I find my imagination equally as interesting, deep, and colourful as the real world. I can easily sit for a few hours and let it run. Is this anything? Or normal?",4.872456140350877,6.214042688995218,5.257397129186604,82.18644657097289,69.47846889952153,7.67859649122807,31.158213716108452,8.021203637495839,2.2037920893141947,858,36,160,11,15,273,121,209,0.08,0.727,0.193,0.9809,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,2,2,9,13,0,2,12,0,18,2,2,1,1,29,34,15,0,2,6,0,3,6,0,0,0,3,0,0,14,8,0,0,9,2,0,5,4,3,0,2,4,9,13,10,21,25,8,24,0,1,3,0,5,9,0,3,14,108,27,0,0.12080370922401695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330989710322946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982334786447801,0.0,0.11293516082241699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728163976693984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535520796680465,0.0,0.13188636258624914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406169880505632,0.12666039073463264,0.0,0.0,0.09645193192809323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832459553869797,0.08630219400736015,0.0,0.0,0.11041240168703144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311495208032325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24795891506959256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896731953152305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639055929958998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235299773832674,0.0,0.35411154177482784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144469055655003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880462613258537,0.0,0.09317126786600566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836198598345495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286520077170184,0.08185971979476196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375008137041419,0.0,0.1262141643802541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428821879570273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750106839464754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316570761705733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389559147307985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908293551293494,0.09709744551108923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24076984965957834,0.0,0.0,0.1918093024372106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800767044637653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990271350931521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stars-eat-art-books,2019/03/24,"Looking for a sub for people with schizophrenia. r/Schizophrenia's mods have become completely worthless. The sub is nothing but memes and selfies now. People can karma whore with absolute garbage, while the people with legitimate topics get ignored. Delusions are encouraged, along with substance abuse, alcohol, and other crap that is detrimental to people with schizophrenia.

I would like to find a community of people who are looking for help with living positive, productive lives. People who have the illness, but do not delight in how ""special"" they think it makes them. People who don't pretend to be ""crazy"" because they are lonely and crave attention.

r/schizophrenia used to be a GREAT sub. Does anyone know of an online community like r/schizophrenia about 2-3 years ago?",7.192272727272727,9.974691863636368,6.0748484848484825,72.88227272727275,65.96969696969697,8.133333333333335,34.72727272727273,8.841846274778883,3.5116272727272726,634,30,88,11,11,190,88,132,0.19,0.65,0.16,-0.7024,0,2,1,0,1,0,24.0,0,0,3,0,3,10,1,0,7,0,13,4,1,3,0,22,20,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,10,1,1,4,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,2,4,5,18,17,0,5,1,2,2,1,8,1,1,0,6,57,10,0,0.0,0.17813669800837928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332736098675681,0.1606752988700761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512617003420063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091650180969918,0.1660465312999286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763604684085467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131569737815947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741450206492312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855014093029901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657581800930124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077447466550547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262682007248158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690397227405416,0.0,0.2655184420345489,0.0,0.252507352923487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035783950217833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426207259159074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7296221155865679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963363344077122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985159973798727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680224785351143,0.0,0.0,0.09681858647152368
mentalhealth,AudreeLee,2019/03/25,"I’m lying to my friends and family about my self harm status. Everyone thinks I’m clean, but I’m not. When I have a breakdown, it usually ends with me cutting myself somewhere. And I always feel like shit afterwards, but I can’t help myself. I always need to be aware of my cuts and where they are, so I can hide them and not get caught. I feel like I’m suffocating because of this, and I feel I will always need to keep this a secret forever. I don’t know what to do or how to cope with this in a better way. I’m tired and annoyed everyday and hate every second of it. I feel like crying and screaming but I can’t. I feel like I’m choking. And no one takes me seriously when I tell them I’m hurting mentally. My therapist is no help either. This is a mess.",0.832243788819877,2.769604440993792,3.2859277950310566,89.42653144409941,82.22981366459626,6.509472049689442,21.242624223602483,7.6454224807358475,0.8190027950310554,589,18,130,10,16,204,87,161,0.287,0.5670000000000001,0.146,-0.9795,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,3,1,6,16,5,0,4,0,11,2,1,1,0,30,32,17,0,2,7,0,5,4,1,1,1,1,1,1,7,11,0,1,8,0,0,1,7,10,0,2,1,6,24,6,12,29,1,10,0,1,0,0,9,2,1,1,10,83,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595089751816605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779336357768856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737414349820636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819940253460912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275591299868674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134321124982388,0.13761745163948327,0.0,0.0,0.13576940606601864,0.0,0.3641046458311096,0.4115521748959306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126963203191166,0.0,0.07524459863353597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219010888720734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19306737859171744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15417657892178266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801175126535286,0.0,0.0,0.07914972320974044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814439363321261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513846521219315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21357827377991714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759179967960196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024445497257485,0.0,0.14783464278134464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828525009656942,0.0,0.12587998325426775,0.0,0.0,0.1672185266615056,0.0,0.09228231458892704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553000803974816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861787871680713,0.0,0.0,0.11431651346912815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liorakw,2019/03/25,"When your shit at communicating so people get mad at you and you feel like having a nervous breakdown - woo life is fun When your roommate/friend starts doing concerning shit when they get drunk so you try to bring it up but then they start deliberately ignoring and avoiding you. Then you call them out and tell them thats shitty of them to do so they physically leave the apartment to further ignore you and you tell yourself it’s their life and their choice but anytime you think about it you feel like having a nervous breakdown. hahahaha this is why I don’t tell people shit when they make me uncomfortable or upset because I come off as mean and then they decide to ice me out which stresses me the fuck out.      

(will probably delete this later bc im paranoid that they might follow this thread woo) ",4.862450980392158,6.743092973856207,4.807336601307188,83.30551470588236,70.24183006535948,7.191503267973857,26.47549019607843,7.793537801064563,1.4626823529411754,647,21,121,8,12,200,91,153,0.28300000000000003,0.667,0.05,-0.9918,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,11,11,0,8,15,5,5,4,0,9,7,3,1,0,23,22,20,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,10,1,3,5,1,0,3,1,12,0,0,0,2,27,3,14,20,0,22,0,0,0,1,26,9,4,2,12,82,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613860092450394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610396246713332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585326927071464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948591015920838,0.2253362252541983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218464165513636,0.1458004276059219,0.16479401505906954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703539495298643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16699220312747945,0.0,0.0,0.22279058701744356,0.15409835763788912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052727030043962,0.0,0.0,0.1717925113580205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730547210797647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21867262377051067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003814038038792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4856613921368501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22325601263360487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806563637341502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4135366836841693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105425117701093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707479192342577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230881691969438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuperNole,2019/03/25,"Finally did it! I just booked my first mental health appointment. 2 days from now. Anything I need to know / do before going in? I've considered seeing a therapist for awhile, since a lot of things in my life have just felt off for a year or so. Between getting divorced, getting deployed for 4 months, and then moving to the other side of the world within 6 months of each other, I probably should have done this a while ago. 

Being in the military, it is free, and I get time off work to go to the appointments, so there is literally no reason not to go. I guess I was just scared to hear what they say. But I've come to realize that no matter what I find out, I'm not myself, and haven't been for sometime. It is affecting (or effecting? can never tell) literally every part of my life. 

I've gained probably 40 Lbs,  relationships are suffering, I don't do anything socially on the weekends, I basically go to work and go home. And that just is not who I am! I am an incredibly outgoing person, I love meeting new people, doing new things, going new places. And I love making people laugh. 

That was the last thing to go. Even semi-recently I've still had my humor, but lately I don't even respond to conversation. 

I haven't even met with the doc yet and I already feel better. But I've also never done this, or needed it honestly. What do I need to know / do going in? What can I expect? 

Also, anyone with experience to share dealing with military mental health docs would be appreciated.",3.3965525114155213,5.165949910958908,5.157739726027399,79.75432648401828,73.86301369863014,8.291324200913243,25.180365296803647,8.959647251330699,2.017725570776256,1162,38,222,25,24,396,158,292,0.026,0.857,0.117,0.9764,0,0,0,0,1,0,45.0,0,0,1,6,15,10,0,1,12,0,31,6,0,4,2,47,58,19,0,6,13,0,2,0,0,2,4,2,1,1,19,13,0,0,8,2,1,10,11,2,0,1,9,5,24,9,34,45,3,43,0,1,1,2,17,12,0,5,21,161,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221378366381506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234758031346616,0.1483379767481386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485019959454423,0.0,0.15264420507416124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789200635428887,0.0,0.0,0.08202635059804901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989251591544601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059813534155298866,0.09561711242944354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982283436280936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18377368806509453,0.0,0.0781425532318601,0.0,0.0,0.09072344044061748,0.0,0.0,0.04689519318925449,0.0,0.08905075936330209,0.10159877218820527,0.08476821597510921,0.07888974881057806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536796068530533,0.0,0.4216777727796853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217023820534447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19716944344393536,0.10453154695719344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930318573469385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194161495314986,0.07560041520764582,0.10462159217010117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310185659473091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884938113668476,0.16741387520500847,0.0,0.0619087133154017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693242295169174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14805803589522415,0.0985743809738158,0.0,0.20631007852992092,0.14306295373462527,0.26872415972371305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043494182832084,0.0,0.12859687638465886,0.08098227969874222,0.09689988970287897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19999187225303533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535839355777403,0.0,0.09957455610855133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375538717939346,0.09285498286189883,0.0,0.07390659965556598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672049686452417,0.0,0.0,0.09454292545183332,0.0,0.0,0.0917282220064654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406712102442611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106414187457524,0.0,0.0,0.10768532072303208,0.184849077679604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05408097175320928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504046837338834,0.0,0.0,0.06588413796672055,0.0,0.0,0.0597254199891169
mentalhealth,mentalhealth1230134,2019/03/25,"My girlfriend has been going through some long term mental health problems and i'm looking for any insight to help / proceed. My girlfriend (30) is suffering from some sort of mental health issue and I'm trying to figure out whats the best approach to move forward.  

It seems she has like some combination of panic/anxiety attacks with some general anxiety / anxiety induced depression but I don't know. Possibly relevant info is her father has bipolar, but what she is experiencing doesn't sound like that to me.

It's been impacting her for most of her life including her childhood and has impacted all her relationships (family, friends, signifiant others). It was a big cause of her last long term relationship breaking up, and has been straining ours (3 years).

She will suddenly get overwhelmed by something, or feel that she's not being understood, which sends her into a rapid downward spiral.  

When an episode starts, it will slowly build up with things getting progressively worse while the seemingly normal discussion or situation continues. She'll slowly become more and more irrational, resort to black and white reasoning and ultimately becomes verbally combative (yelling etc.), and will eventually run off if you can't resolve what's going on and bring her down, leaving the other participant feeling very frustrated / upset with her.  By the time she's running off, the problem is almost never about what was going on, but in the moment that's not always apparent before it's too late.  

I can sometimes see it happening before it's escalated too far and smooth the situation over, but it's really hard sometimes while she's blowing up on me and it feels very personal. 

It can take her hours to fully come back from an episode, and after it's happened she feels very embarrassed. It really impacts her self esteem as it's continued and impacted her relationships over the years. She often says ""I don't want this, I didn't ask for this""

I've seen it happen as frequently as weekly, but a couple of times of month is more common.  Being in crowds can more easily trigger it but not always, and she can be fine in them at other times as well.

She has a very hard time describing the actual feeling often saying she doesn't have the proper words for it, but she describes it as being overwhelmed and lost, sometimes a dark void that she's swirling down into, and she can't figure out how to get out of. She often doesn't see it coming, and by the time it's happening it's often too late or difficult to stop. She says she feels like she missed learning how to cope with these everyday normal situations as a kid, and now she can't. 

Sometimes she can see it happening though and can remove herself from the situation.

She's seen counsellors about it before and they've all basically been telling her she needs to take better care of herself.  Get a full nights sleep, eat properly etc.  Doing this absolutely helps but it doesn't actually prevent episodes from happening or given any reasoning into what's going on with her. She also continues to struggle with these basic things.  None of them have been able to offer any tools to actually help her in an episode, or give useful insight into what is happening.

She raised the possibility of also possibly being depressed with her most recent counsellor but was told didn't think she was...

For eating, she has anxiety over what to eat, with all the conflicting information of what we should or shouldn't be eating, and feels defeated when recipes don't come out as well as she'd hope instead of just trying to tweak it to her liking / attempting to fix it a second time etc.

She feels she has to be perfect when keeping things clean, but she can't keep them perfectly clean so she's a failure. ""Good enough"" isn't enough when it comes to keeping her room clean for example.  But when it's not clean it stresses her out which impacts her eating, or stresses her out during the day as she thinks about having to do it later.

Small things like what to bring to a house party where they want you to bring a home made side dish can highly stress her out.

The anxiety, is common around her normal life, it's not just in these episodes.

At this point she's feeling helpless, worthless, that it's never going to get better etc.  

Which brings us to now...  I think she needs to see a psychologist instead of a counsellor and try to get an actual diagnosis of what might be happening.  She's afraid of seeing someone else again, because it hasn't helped the past 4 times over the years, and I have no idea how to go about finding someone who might be able to help? I'm really worried that if we try again (we tried once already with a counsellor) and she doesn't get some answers or help, that it will be impossible to get her to try again (getting her to be willing to try again now was already really hard)

What can I do to try and help her find someone appropriate who can help her? Is this something a psychologist might be able to properly diagnosis and give us more insight into than what she's gotten in the past?  

We're in Canada if that makes a difference.






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mentalhealth,thisis-myusername97,2019/03/25,"I don’t know what’s real I was with my ex boyfriend for 2 years, and he very badly gaslighted me. I can’t remember most of the relationship, up to multiple times a day I switch between believing he was severely emotionally abusive to believing that I’m actually a terrible person. This applies to everything else too. Every thought I have about ANYTHING I immediately think “is that true though?” “Is that really what happened?” “Are you sure you’re not just crazy?” It’s driving me insane. I can’t trust myself or anyone else. Nothing is real. Everything is abstract. 

My entire sense of judgement is gone. What’s right? What’s wrong? Is my perception trustworthy? Is my memory trustworthy? I feel like my perception is skewed and I can’t trust anything I think, feel, and believe. Sometimes when I’m in a crowded room I feel invisible. Logically I know that others can see me and I’m present in that room, but I feel as if I’m a ghost who’s observing my surroundings without actually existing within them. 

I think I may be dissociating but I don’t feel that’s enough to describe the complexity of how much I don’t know what’s real. ",2.3644594115561866,5.149039428571432,4.413387096774193,78.28623449131514,83.28571428571428,8.131088266572139,28.161822048918825,8.841846274778883,2.952734987593052,904,43,163,26,26,308,120,217,0.081,0.833,0.086,-0.4476,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,1,0,6,8,0,0,6,0,21,0,0,1,2,37,40,12,1,1,7,1,5,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,15,5,0,0,17,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,4,6,29,5,17,34,3,15,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,4,6,105,44,0,0.0,0.13983707163782674,0.2303453896318208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252390402673446,0.12092774626577843,0.1942445174962424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854365214890136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3989119931889253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611458997802299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971848975676279,0.13275915018916865,0.0,0.12194853753567822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994388391034733,0.0,0.2121415832335015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983779885228592,0.08431512171271209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043666892807043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19458583245667765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057659711683333024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675993637406558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324553562041845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030524797072082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4030054896287085,0.07560807793118253,0.0,0.0,0.12671173200981306,0.1336962065174409,0.10079035990172423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404845590377056,0.0,0.0,0.13333155312041614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672702685160866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123457749164753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268716841590363,0.11595626514883403,0.093696486321336,0.06881972531368809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738071969384124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376924105088244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903880711104068,0.0,0.07600246195006227
mentalhealth,Brevvin,2019/03/25,I Don’t Know I can’t talk to anybody about how I feel which I think there is something wrong with me but I can’t bring my self to upsetting someone else in my family. I don’t even know if anything is wrong with me. I just keep telling myself to make sure no one knows but it keeps getting worse. My life feels like it is losing meaning. Help.,1.1403131115459892,3.0289077671232896,2.216868884540119,97.7431506849315,80.91780821917807,5.267318982387477,21.38747553816047,6.18269132825596,-0.0018908023483366065,269,8,63,2,7,85,50,73,0.248,0.635,0.117,-0.899,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,2,1,18,19,4,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,7,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,0,2,13,2,7,19,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,39,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618793568684336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643298087063541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992813983718626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854450202934387,0.0,0.1989296274957637,0.14053295148885292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277526082556954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185365163758786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34969795477574217,0.0,0.0,0.3243276033714064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389453414433289,0.09610481845077372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200733227974196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130852482975633,0.0,0.0,0.214279871224346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329890581724116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20521623249804655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667564452193698,0.1514405117800746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540118504223088,0.0,0.0,0.15811174624990088,0.17193723332467367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604677443567538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20046898597070986,0.0,0.4301530745980352,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,queso34567,2019/03/25,"Is there any point in knowing if I have asperger? My brother has been diagnosed with asperger about 2 months ago. Which made me think I probably have asperger too beacause I am clearly more asperger type than my brother and my mom also told me that I most probably have asperger and i should get assessed by a psycologist. But i dont really care if I have asperger or not.
Is there any benefit to knowing if I have asperger or not?

Thanks.
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mentalhealth,takingastepbackwards,2019/03/25,"i feel lost. i guess i just need advise. 
for the past year maybe two years, i haven’t felt like myself. one day i woke up, and felt off. i didn’t think much of it, i thought i was just tired. but i felt like i was in a movie, and like i was still half asleep throughout the remainder of the day. to this day it still feels that way, and it’s extremely rare for me to feel “normal”. sometimes the feeling becomes more intense, and it makes it very had to concentrate, i lose my train of thought, and sometimes i can’t speak because of it. when i talk while it’s happening, i stutter or can barely form a sentence. 
usually when it happens i’m either anxious, stressed, or worried. when i’m none of those, i end up very anxious afterwards. my s/o has found that trying to hold my attention helps sometimes, others he has to hold me to his chest, and his heartbeat helps. last night i had someone over, and i started feeling off, so she asked if i was alright, i explained how i felt, and she said it sounds like i’m dissociating. she has DID and explained that’s how she feels when she’s switching. now, i do not think i have DID, and neither does she. 
i guess now is the time for a little background lol. when i was 2 or 3 my mother had gotten with a very bad man, and he often times hit us/mentally abused us. he was in our lives until i was 7 or 8, and through the years it only got worse. i hardly remember my childhood, and i have nearly no memories of when he was around. i know i went through a lot, and i remember needing to “grow up” extremely fast, so i could stay safe. a couple years past after he was arrested, i woke up in my old house, (i was 9 at the time) and i was genuinely confused. it took me awhile to remember my name, and i didn’t know where i was. i walked out from my room, and asked my mom where i was. she said at home, but i was still confused. since then, i’ve had a bad attitude, problems controlling my emotions, a bad memory, anxiety issues (though that runs in my family) and problems paying attention in school and out of school. 
i haven’t been diagnosed with anything, and i can’t go talk to anyone outside of school counselors until next month. 

(id like to stress that i don’t like self diagnosing myself, so i try not to read up on these kinds of things, but i figured here would be a good place to get advise.)",2.9546719796719785,4.086157596673599,4.094845807345809,89.50216245091245,73.86486486486487,7.340286440286441,26.250924000924,7.793537801064563,1.2837386925386922,1808,62,399,24,36,590,225,481,0.145,0.762,0.093,-0.9823,0,0,0,0,1,0,72.0,2,0,0,3,24,22,0,4,16,2,39,5,2,4,0,84,83,44,0,8,13,2,11,6,0,1,3,4,2,2,21,25,0,4,25,1,1,6,12,12,0,3,39,15,72,10,52,40,7,72,0,2,0,0,34,25,0,11,45,266,93,7,0.0,0.08333993743633429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053808964501557296,0.15892557195596976,0.0,0.049182501593016,0.0,0.057882812282478976,0.06261641563138277,0.1315145048841743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761897980695936,0.04287785971929488,0.07768364230825386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788909086163797,0.056159782216059835,0.07782850821451771,0.0,0.13608805789046752,0.0,0.0,0.14278473649354553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061553929317698215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912164593607886,0.06229927022504678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630912987311699,0.0,0.21339236531164094,0.0,0.27014498901331685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712282784959272,0.0,0.0,0.03674910281787321,0.0,0.03997514244586279,0.05899682085787845,0.05625633782316145,0.0,0.15497216461045174,0.0,0.12440067935087396,0.0,0.06300971960893385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429318616209703,0.0,0.07055551873046162,0.0,0.0,0.08116149366497813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341539853403747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324700217997993,0.07731269404218946,0.05733548338524344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20618381269017524,0.07049792354777884,0.06211042024117733,0.0,0.0,0.07869108871131446,0.07678307358189948,0.05979950466782489,0.0,0.0,0.04695167339951367,0.0,0.07066474598186799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237991421002545,0.056143733032460064,0.0,0.05170708728885493,0.10431060947016456,0.0,0.0,0.07480607705887045,0.06600816828469472,0.06891705767435287,0.0,0.0,0.0738087040857322,0.0,0.0476633691419352,0.053495802160377116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429262487717675,0.0,0.0,0.07348904104338112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346094018030538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035780202524829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390403350728788,0.0,0.1338165503421384,0.0,0.0,0.21355976331508092,0.0,0.0,0.07337867466730894,0.0,0.0,0.05818495521753001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959780932268925,0.0,0.20870051841769732,0.0,0.04978614156612363,0.0749717671305485,0.1685178914120294,0.0,0.16114564071249035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307127363096893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04672995156162687,0.09014048393337634,0.06910748179770025,0.11168224872798617,0.12304530268374862,0.08084406582487769,0.0,0.0,0.07814895863124909,0.09551081175334936,0.0,0.0687107550840333,0.0,0.16921775309019596,0.0,0.0774682148562743,0.17411054862066894,0.0,0.05583163952695217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520474203283362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143243257489032,0.07168121314462811,0.04996664221177394,0.0,0.0,0.1811834401203857
mentalhealth,JaceThePowerBottom,2019/03/25,"Is there a reason my anxiety is so much worse at night? Think of this as an ELI5 or something.

For some reason when it's late at night (for example.. right now) my anxiety gets so much less manageable? During the day I'm fine. I am good enough at my job, excellent job security, loving fiance, supportive family. But at night, or late afternoon on weekend, I just want to curl up in a ball and break. I dont hurt myself when I'm anxious but that's the extent of my real self control sometimes.

I've heard of seasonal depression. Is this a similar effect?",2.6102727272727293,4.654674936363642,4.683636363636363,81.07545454545456,76.9090909090909,8.763636363636364,25.54545454545455,9.3871,2.464563636363636,433,16,84,12,10,149,77,110,0.103,0.763,0.135,0.1503,2,0,1,0,0,2,18.0,0,0,0,3,7,8,0,0,6,0,5,1,0,4,0,14,13,10,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,8,6,14,12,6,21,0,2,0,1,3,8,0,3,12,54,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322082546033171,0.17145762800667524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022368264816862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787950975525052,0.0,0.13071983334874787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17787406452529214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15681964617832633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430758559910175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929389742604331,0.0,0.0,0.12729801553936285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247361347573713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30121789129665466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34240779435756097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369789317978401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22313777269619964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272794047125938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274821977810978,0.0,0.31209099894513753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961130077800453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832988171615264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684045665052872,0.15010504775394934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17222752833103327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724850049224554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895182581163098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466725243970006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kkBlinkk,2019/03/25,"Anyone relate? Who to talk to when you're not sure what wrong with you??? I'm very introverted and quiet and I also have a lot of anxiety as well as being an extremely emotional and sensitive person. Sometimes it's just so hard and I wish I knew somebody who understands what it's like to feel the way I do about everything to feel so emotional and how hard it is to control, how exhausting. I wish I knew how to handle it, but it's so hard for me. I just wish somebody understood how it feels because theres people who love me soooooo much and they help me feel better and try to understand but they dont really get it. I mean nobody can its within me, it's my mind. But sometimes I wish somebody besides me, myself, and I knew how it feels some time so I could talk to them about it. I just I don't understand what's wrong with me and i have no idea what to do about it all. ",1.9057065217391305,3.5799631576086988,3.7091304347826117,88.95271739130438,77.75,7.42608695652174,22.91304347826087,8.278499904357787,1.2116586956521735,687,21,151,13,16,231,92,184,0.066,0.736,0.198,0.9794,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,3,2,19,8,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,6,2,48,30,25,0,5,7,0,8,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,19,11,0,1,14,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,4,9,26,5,19,24,4,4,0,0,0,1,12,1,0,2,3,111,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952636201741468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564143158720841,0.0,0.0,0.07827803200606373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824367136166755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09901066361551898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556142671964735,0.089382953029509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312045478676441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518573286169042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061342733366907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830263789741543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058489246244036015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008555902090359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503771468792554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637790570276752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054693107528530856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951758733028631,0.10103923167153447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219463521912365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303757081397282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229611960836236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761202331260836,0.0977504081994445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171802660107697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22144279410006587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551153535164023,0.0,0.0,0.1799623136190419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652789361371972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600669076596411,0.0,0.0,0.3496316454283112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237046141804618,0.0,0.08886068671347082,0.0,0.0,0.10065648055982156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5149478282891918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447994673104664,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heretohereman,2019/03/25,"My psychosis dissipated after new medication, and I was really starting to lose it. I honestly believed that there were multiple people sending me secret coded messages through random tumblr blogs. I honestly believed I was having an illicit online love affair, in secret, with a girl I used to know, but it turns out I was just talking to myself. I thought another girl I used to know was there too, and she was jealous of the first girl. Then I also thought one of my college professors found out about it and so I was juggling secret communications with all of them in the form of coded messages I would send random blogs that I thought were them....

Now I look back and I think, wow, what in the ever loving fuck was I thinking? Why did I believe this? How on Earth could I have been doing this? But then I saw the movie a Beautiful Mind, and I realized that’s almost exactly what he was doing. It’s really freaked me out that I could be so disturbed in my thoughts and devoted to these habits, luckily, this new med seems to have taken me back to sanity. I just thought I would share that.",5.425857142857144,6.390098347619048,6.161904761904763,77.60142857142857,67.9047619047619,9.23809523809524,31.66666666666667,9.424239791934726,2.9008095238095244,863,35,158,17,14,283,114,210,0.083,0.765,0.152,0.9461,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,2,14,12,2,1,7,0,22,4,0,3,3,44,43,14,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,15,11,0,0,15,2,0,2,0,5,0,2,20,2,32,7,24,18,2,21,0,1,2,3,19,8,1,4,11,127,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414784507474068,0.0,0.0,0.09914658866495184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000361377332825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19066560253209194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41904828322597376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797553877932847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214681282268417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545714114038444,0.0,0.13593743416745527,0.0,0.1146173127472768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627209413489166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041117936559733,0.1387016657651796,0.0,0.0,0.2237931915431069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771359105020328,0.12489658928808656,0.0,0.0,0.12518423941987378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394808963739951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401191042381044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595197188212574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884924893733313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286653921805488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877535294063038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965025430224374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588824793148533,0.0,0.492130500055768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485440356306436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141574540511036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118724714557495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17614336314219273,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AJ123N,2019/03/25,"What mental illness is this? I have a thing where I’m convinced people can read my mind. When I’m in public, I always feel like the people near me can read my mind. It makes afraid to think and uncomfortable, like I don’t have any privacy. I know it’s crazy and fake, and when I’m having one of these, it takes me like a minute to realize I’m being crazy, and when I do realize I have like mini panic attacks. Does anyone else also have this, know what illness this falls under, or have any good methods of coping with it?",3.1133333333333333,4.2203160740740735,4.425000000000002,87.38250000000002,73.44444444444444,6.881481481481483,21.833333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.5758111111111113,408,9,86,4,8,135,63,108,0.19,0.6779999999999999,0.132,-0.782,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,10,1,2,3,0,12,2,0,1,0,15,22,9,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,5,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,1,10,6,8,21,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,7,55,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929586924041027,0.1553409768336833,0.0,0.0,0.25391110797738803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053793952334022,0.1912858948556541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123867463369529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633736154616147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595548064025347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439603780324003,0.13337132299838206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565866554927063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20519980587361888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648290780917869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461697766946575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881395390822536,0.0,0.3770072191297972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265059278605726,0.0,0.0,0.21904040777631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588545814406916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734809010638532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036759319998374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402849373864468,0.11962336866950465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gemidie12,2019/03/25,don’t know what to do i can’t bring myself to do anything with school and have isolated myself from all my friends. it’s been over a month since i’ve seen any of them outside of school. i procrastinate my homework until the last minute but cry over anything less than an A. i am always paranoid that anything i do is wrong. when talking to people or doing anything remotely stressful i shake and can’t stop. i am so scared of not succeeding that i cry over every little thing but don’t do everything i can to help myself. i can’t focus on doing anything and am always freaking out. i feel like i just let time go by and can’t control doing anything. i just want to feel like everyone else. am i just overdramatic and lazy or is there something else,4.772847682119206,5.5255410198675525,5.459264900662255,82.8171092715232,69.26490066225165,7.894304635761589,29.669536423841052,7.908726449838941,1.9027001324503303,598,22,117,7,10,194,88,151,0.244,0.674,0.08199999999999999,-0.9818,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,2,6,9,0,3,4,0,23,0,0,1,1,22,30,12,0,1,8,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,2,3,0,0,3,7,5,0,0,2,3,19,4,18,27,2,15,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,2,8,87,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152054193901256,0.0,0.0,0.0879404900012138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6385048327502648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504082883243485,0.0,0.0,0.2840989053404689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21605673725940447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895576384692893,0.12356863155020105,0.1162224360888363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077385837455044,0.1847692224261787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991055639728867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349424534120237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667894763834726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710696417357488,0.10541120868745328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223613912691026,0.0,0.1263562202916306,0.129610337130944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322017727508137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965263045120794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294696060761266,0.2617528907511049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697296150264483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955510543606008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811541164713864,0.1481330212922697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039406918503264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591295276818077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754062075431732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627494688657002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138863568238172,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,makenziestratton,2019/03/25,"Does life get better? I’m usually a positive person, but recently I’ve been struggling to see hope right now. I just heard that my mom had “major surgery” on likely her alcohol-damaged kidneys (for context, we haven’t been in contact and she has virtually the least control over my life due to her addiction to drugs and alcohol). In addition to that, I’m starting a fast-paced, proper, special opportunity to work at my town’s snobby country club. 

This sudden shift in schedules and everyone around me (including my father) depending on me to take care of their responsibilities is causing me to likely be developing an eating disorder. On top of everything else, I have a lawsuit against my aunt for $60K that she granted my mother access to without my consent, I get bullied at the therapeutic school I go to, and I don’t trust my therapist anymore because she’s involved herself to personally with my life. 

Don’t get me wrong; this isn’t a rant post. Like I said I try to be as optimistic as I can but right now I feel like the world is crashing on my shoulders, and I fear I won’t be able to physically cope with my stress any longer. My joints ache, my ribs show, I throw up acid every morning, and the only thing that seems to be working for me right now (self medicating with Hybrid Medical marijuana I get from a friend) is strictly prohibited at my therapeutic school. Inspire me please!",7.721894060995183,7.13617125093633,8.376696094168004,68.97412921348318,63.08239700374532,11.523702514713753,39.29614767255217,10.914260884657429,4.371720385232743,1112,54,200,26,14,374,160,267,0.133,0.7090000000000001,0.157,0.7264,0,0,3,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,1,6,5,16,0,3,10,0,18,12,3,3,0,23,34,10,0,1,4,4,1,4,1,1,8,2,0,3,7,12,2,1,3,2,0,2,6,4,0,0,5,5,41,12,39,24,2,31,0,0,1,0,20,19,0,3,13,128,48,4,0.11533939609073735,0.0,0.0,0.12573696647318916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465254749415858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843474449812257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143856883017494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267651589275427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030982531534352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200832288565304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759620128229915,0.11848533148407266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293629402236778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218894045664192,0.0,0.10093428277747847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337570816305107,0.11802099671262492,0.09635126540576183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717841575380914,0.11021173572593117,0.1036596120791621,0.0,0.0,0.12978888686293946,0.05831906422456797,0.08239848761312381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891109313079611,0.0,0.2410402959975685,0.0,0.06555003679579201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455804508317685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24440287935020394,0.2253960116480075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323846144830491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508410670492127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772080811924783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20141982363706545,0.0,0.1266080211370332,0.0,0.0,0.11046325870105232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388373899118005,0.0,0.0,0.2954976421732088,0.10971417813823134,0.0,0.0,0.23345925304060205,0.09191056564236548,0.10500065435624133,0.12032414471024247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163781820163762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212088853079804,0.12057777966178633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672087169528321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391792864452312,0.07662636971159158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830787886880898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270300497668058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118306193552303,0.0,0.16793690807926864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610552334348696,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrWahWi,2019/03/25,"Wtf is wrong with me? Not looking for a diagnosis. If anything like that, just something to look into.

I recently told my girlfriend to kill herself out of anger and frustration when she was just trying to help me better myself. She told me I was in denial and helpless because of how defensive I get. She was frustrated with me because of myself being stagnant in life.

My depression demotivates me. I can barely get up in the mornings, can’t keep up to my routines. Can’t really do anything productive.

I spend all day distracting myself in any way I can. And all she did was make this known to me. And I lashed out. I called her a bitch, a cunt, and I told her to fuck off and kill herself.

I regret all of it. Immediately after saying it, I hated it. Why the fuck did I say those things. I destroyed her, all because I was too in denial.

I need to work this out. For her and for me. I can’t keep doing this.




In all, I want an idea, any idea, on what the hell is wrong with me and what I can do to help fix this. I’m looking at psychiatrists/therapists, reflecting on everything I hate about myself and thinking about what I can do to prevent that from happening. Etc.",1.9534949832775936,4.132004200854701,3.7581679672984016,86.23924749163879,79.64102564102564,6.80460795243404,24.27647714604236,7.893859768569023,1.4069756967670006,909,33,184,16,23,305,115,234,0.269,0.677,0.054000000000000006,-0.9961,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,2,7,22,14,1,7,0,21,3,0,2,5,39,41,12,2,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,14,16,0,4,5,0,1,0,4,20,0,0,10,5,45,2,39,30,6,21,1,3,3,2,19,16,5,1,5,148,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536000054090294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010342503113115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223459672094863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752949114248693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414892236233845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841039914929518,0.0,0.10471848842760308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559618526657272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092701558420346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248013928768863,0.12704326294290216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751465345544578,0.0,0.0,0.2400743138948215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16298784357653873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27450279385344484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21613552163380526,0.2690251694264856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587703600010949,0.059398874896768525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062950395684858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115699883702478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090151589906348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778886094138692,0.0,0.12004766039387267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19337393885242332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359984398841377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116619423439955,0.08077374776977507,0.07790490327684092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34853073333508583,0.0,0.08254626807902182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171227530257379,0.0965062153504624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097089384013224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851322009307414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26586188992798965,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayaezgsdxf,2019/03/25,"How can I learn to use more moderation in my life? I've always been bad at doing things in moderation and it shows in every aspect of my life. It never used to be a huge problem, I would just obsess over tv shows or eat the same food for two weeks non stop, but now I'm older it's getting to be a bit more of a problem.

I can't just seem to drink one beer anymore, it starts with one, then two, then five beers later I'm drunk and wondering what happened because I was only planning on having one beer.

I don't diet, I starve myself. I've always had issues with food, I thought it was an eating disorder but the more I think about it the more I think it just fits in with this pattern of no moderation. Like I've literally eaten the same meal every night for the last three weeks.

I do it with people too, I'll meet someone and really get along with them and talk to them non stop for a week, then I'll get bored and stop talking to them and they'll have no idea what happened, I've hurt so many guys who thought we were going to end up in a relationship then I just stop talking to them.

The other night I tried smoking for the first time, that night I chain smoked four cigars.

It's not good but it's how I've always been, I don't know how to do anything in moderation. How can I stop being so excessive with everything in my life?",3.0737234042553183,3.8896169042553197,4.387014184397163,88.72350000000002,73.21985815602838,7.200283687943263,23.31985815602837,7.365786028017652,0.7081228368794328,1045,26,235,11,20,346,142,282,0.16,0.8109999999999999,0.029,-0.9871,0,0,5,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,5,2,13,8,0,1,13,0,21,16,0,6,1,49,40,20,0,3,9,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,17,14,13,5,9,8,0,1,7,6,0,9,9,0,25,2,35,26,7,38,0,1,0,0,13,13,0,3,25,155,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386652182816723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948193020154014,0.0,0.0,0.0786787782751435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798302496027592,0.0582828906326012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438121762779796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957719671353804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366127563037592,0.0,0.1956655364424979,0.0,0.0,0.08468196819495964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111088178148847,0.0,0.08592798811163073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132570839271139,0.2312236737882972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498566361102557,0.0,0.0543372936626882,0.08019302456422706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466880517284894,0.16909498833883285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023523455671596,0.10793190796280756,0.0,0.09979186628064518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052544685309292634,0.07793480666680115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20259624061890852,0.046710154082257885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693340377850132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374022754945088,0.0,0.0,0.269170164615096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943631712776912,0.07271561610183383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628384693037588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18297147046910192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061250132318121736,0.0,0.0,0.10264922167342347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703963673283201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100993439124111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067673159595973,0.0,0.0,0.39967067114297705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23054278074508774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351895066505525,0.12252589100884152,0.0,0.1518071174920861,0.055750885314090684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491282718043938,0.0,0.18679390482935312,0.0,0.0,0.1651524635501042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300774169758693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368482788250236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06791850998096008,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nokada,2019/03/25,"Just need some friends All my life I have been somewhat ""alone"", of course I had a family but they never understood what it was like to be in my position (I have anxiety and depression) and my family was always too poor to get a therapist, I've only had about 12 friends in my life and I just wanted to come here because some people under stand and, I just want to meet new people and get friends, so if you would like to talk to me, please do.",7.801593406593407,5.1903990219780285,8.064917582417582,77.76133241758242,64.27472527472527,12.176923076923075,33.739010989010985,10.686352973137794,3.147481318681318,345,10,75,7,4,114,59,91,0.061,0.732,0.207,0.9331,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,0,7,6,0,0,2,0,10,2,0,0,2,21,17,8,0,5,5,0,0,2,3,1,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,6,0,12,5,11,9,4,7,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,4,4,55,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988170033603792,0.0,0.0,0.1605849582608223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763849333660928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764624473068935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624567874289772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622388620758444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638717124409712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4473158503445281,0.0,0.20166090248199892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726321755454997,0.18857246642793227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310125983517902,0.14884747071770682,0.18639305495216585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677925330755673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675929622921148,0.0,0.0,0.21184746474267246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511980794617033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22407880173899966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276635820201524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370961110582648,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_love_salty_peaches,2019/03/25,"Don’t feel the same after doing shrooms Hey everyone,
I don’t really know if this is the right place to post this but I’m gonna give it a shot anyways. About 2 months ago I did shrooms (it was the second time and I had a great time the first) and while the shrooms themselves weren’t really a problem I did end up getting too high on weed and it caused me to have a bad trip and have a panic attack. After that everything was fine for a few weeks but I avoided smoking as much for awhile. Then one day I ended up getting really high again and it make me remember my bad trip and I almost had another attack. Ever since then I’ve felt off and have had pretty bad anxiety almost everyday (I’ve never had anxiety before the incident and I smoked quite often). My anxiety feels like it’s getting worse and worse and I’m really starting to become detached from reality. I’m always so scared of having another panic attack and it’s so overwhelming because I’ve never had feeling like this before. If anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice for me that would be much appreciated as these last few weeks have been some of the worst of my life.",3.6194325226514046,5.104827025751074,5.208547925608013,80.77535884597044,72.73390557939916,8.439580352885072,25.81998092513114,8.998388855275968,2.0390536003814974,919,30,178,19,18,311,128,233,0.26,0.6559999999999999,0.084,-0.994,1,1,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,8,17,3,5,14,0,25,1,0,2,3,35,40,23,0,4,5,0,4,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,12,11,0,1,6,0,0,2,5,13,0,3,13,4,14,4,20,24,7,34,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,7,24,123,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704825414194987,0.0880356535270351,0.0,0.1988967640282787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263700186693297,0.0,0.0,0.06753676052400331,0.2082782675440745,0.2279242573206509,0.0,0.0,0.06944248820866689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33895120871454953,0.0,0.0,0.2487685168229132,0.06054074460484182,0.10968424216476312,0.16901738518212212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202258589926948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404915738528387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592502202554472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983497922613275,0.0,0.09489855102205526,0.08925680120203648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506480590860939,0.14189953600475613,0.09535678140887607,0.0,0.0,0.08447623115756983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556620173711312,0.09527080549381974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949376794431244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20986087441486453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05458024368942825,0.08095396736556741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014824378179617,0.09703937049288988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629270412885821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927129350514332,0.0,0.14601407748932804,0.0,0.153193784135239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729757215306388,0.0,0.0,0.2330465915084911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376173844003704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511512655941104,0.1010377950337834,0.0,0.09502985304443773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563240557635048,0.0,0.0,0.25449174379899353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250312687125384,0.08481340602542672,0.0,0.0,0.09943039640306436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215336625310858,0.11163282419950794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029478852599681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582130099107453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932701105810085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20241840643931872,0.07054964367876944,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwthatfishback,2019/03/25,"how can i help my gf feel better while she’s in a facility? my gf is going to be in a psychiatric hospital for likely a few weeks, as she is dealing with recurring symptoms of ptsd that have become too hard to handle alone. she is going to be put on a new, strong medication during her stay. 

she’s probably going to end up at a hospital she’s stayed at before, and she says she loves how she was treated there, so i’m not worried about the environment. i’m worried about how i can best support her and keep emotionally close with her during this difficult time. i don’t have a license yet, and the hospital is almost two hours away from me, so if i can visit, it will be rarely. ",5.318147482014388,5.042809978417266,6.806393884892088,77.2108857913669,67.92086330935251,10.115467625899283,30.324640287769785,9.827888789773867,2.67671870503597,533,18,109,11,8,184,88,139,0.044,0.7879999999999999,0.168,0.9554,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,10,8,0,0,8,0,15,3,0,3,0,14,24,11,0,1,2,0,2,1,2,1,2,1,0,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,5,2,1,0,1,1,3,18,7,19,19,2,23,0,0,0,1,18,8,0,2,9,80,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663839290754995,0.17209029470417206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611156131678908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350922156226895,0.1413888092451333,0.0,0.1743732967175085,0.14695386087061774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130231607720545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18690616483764685,0.1471672831396202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08401482749371952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832954424165177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488455516852579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137266918156608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363284210104811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14768948052253386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117674420949622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996470734901216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738740202353197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047710072309151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914717378043354,0.0,0.19423061991749785,0.16703537941189975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321360614850629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542061164094741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18855491530424076,0.0,0.17270250264890702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688846987370364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231289887764389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328248067391044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33748443576067017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrowAway08277429,2019/03/25,"not sure what to do ive been clean off of narcotics for almost 3 years (one more month until the day), but recent events have made sobriety increasingly difficult. i am suicidal. i am a mess of anxiety. the only reason i feel like i am not going to kill myself is because i am not sure who would take care of my wife. i am in debt, i am a mess, i feel like i did after my last suicide attempt. like a failure. what do i do? how do i get through this?",0.7317708333333321,2.4336061354166683,3.3200000000000003,90.25833333333335,81.39583333333334,6.3500000000000005,22.125,7.3871296695380915,0.7455500000000002,343,11,78,5,9,120,62,96,0.299,0.528,0.173,-0.9458,1,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,0,1,1,10,1,0,5,0,16,0,0,3,2,13,23,3,3,1,4,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,3,4,0,1,3,2,15,6,11,19,2,12,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,11,57,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19815261576887416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151381004130175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062847741795492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20175630713341355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276190503721001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20011257005112612,0.2827372720024167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338641780203164,0.0,0.11246224973398906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189297403207394,0.0,0.0,0.16130217571638872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900289281679387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872429788942418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794941903824047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340915728033482,0.15049998309394524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034580936022824,0.195386945929048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4329067734540764,0.0,0.37300736040553145,0.0,0.14878442189326505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057138138780975,0.0,0.0,0.12743104867029004
mentalhealth,spideyismywingman,2019/03/25,"I could have died. This isn't for anyone to read, I'm a little drunk and freaking out and I just need to vent into the void.

I had some situations when I was younger. I don't think I'm ready to go into it in detail, but I was pretty fucked up and had a lot of pressure on a child's shoulders. By the time I came out of that and had that pressure relieved, I felt directionless and empty inside. It was like I had this purpose for existing that was life and death with people I loved on the line, and then it was taken away and I was supposed to start caring about trivial shit like a job or an education? I don't know, it felt like nothing mattered. I'd completed what I needed to complete and nothing would ever be that important again. 

I started drinking a lot and eventually decided to end it. There was a big block of flats near my flat at the time, so I took a case of drinks up there and sat on the edge for a while. My plan was to keep drinking until I lost my balance. I don't know why that made me feel better than jumping, but the idea of slipping off was somehow touching. 

Anyway, I kept drinking until this kid came and started talking to me. I say kid, he was probably 16 or 18 or so. I didn't see the point in lying so I told him everything about what had happened and who was to blame. He kept quiet for a bit, and then he told me this amazing thing. He told me that I was up against 100% odds of dying so everything else from here on out was a bonus. If I went slack now, I was dead, and that's fine. Or I could take every last ounce of effort and put it against the person who's fault this was and take him down. Worst case scenario, I come right back here and kill myself.

That kid took me down off the roof. I decided to keep living until every last bit of spite and malice I had left was gone, and then I could die. Along the way, I met the most beautiful, special person I've ever known through absolute fluke. Someone who didn't judge me and didn't feel sorry for me but helped me get better and let go of my past. She honestly changed the way I view the world and let me love her. I married her two years ago and I've been healing slowly since I met her.

She's away tonight with work and I'm sat down with Netflix. I've had a few beers and binge watched a Ricky Gervais show called After Life that's really fucked with me. I didn't know that anyone felt the way I did after coming down from that roof, but that's pretty much the plot of the show. Someone who could have killed himself but didn't and is now living through hate until suicide. I've had to turn it off because it's really fucking with my head. I could have died in 2012. I could have been dead for seven years. I would never have met my wife or bought this house or learned to forgive him for what happened. I was one limp body motion away from missing so much. It's not been easy and I'm not going to call it all happy, but it's been seven years that I wouldn't trade. It scares me to think how close I came on that day among others to robbing myself of so much. I would walk over a million miles of broken glass to get to my wedding day but I almost fell off a shitty tower block with a half finished can of cider instead?

I don't know, I'm having a bit of a panic attack. My mantra when I was in that place was that I hated the sentence ""don't kill yourself because it might get better"". I viewed that sentence as exactly as logical as ""do kill yourself because it might be worse"". I was wrong. The guilt and shame and self-hatred I'm sitting in right now is an awful feeling, but I know that it will pass. Maybe it will last all night, maybe all week, maybe all year, but it will pass. If you're sitting with me now and you can't see that yet, I'm here to talk to you. I couldn't see it once either, but my future life had other plans. You will get there, I promise you.

I'm not here to shill for Ricky Gervais, the show is pretty mediocre and repeats his stand-up sets which is pretty embarrassing, it just hit a nerve.",3.091020610384461,3.950750431629016,4.019662901307972,91.20879676971865,73.22116527942923,6.5579151803408635,24.123682124455012,6.42735559955562,0.5217614585810542,3127,85,699,20,60,1008,338,841,0.189,0.703,0.108,-0.998,2,0,5,0,0,2,83.0,0,4,0,10,32,43,12,7,39,1,79,19,4,2,8,133,155,70,12,15,24,1,8,3,0,10,4,2,0,6,55,51,6,6,20,11,3,19,18,25,0,6,63,16,88,18,103,70,17,113,0,2,6,5,45,43,4,16,48,472,143,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04703789102982613,0.0,0.053135769076071857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420693917371017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036777669495268,0.14956566872158472,0.040802816274402826,0.0,0.09704167005629964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407919585643712,0.17379590427255887,0.05894196204754771,0.0,0.0,0.1083682237454784,0.18207268419633052,0.054102119741818035,0.0,0.05613450498590331,0.0914195963318352,0.11127284990690546,0.0,0.0,0.25420294258727266,0.0,0.0,0.06844357177892653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202875461306152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079294399693808,0.0,0.0,0.04432802795852609,0.0,0.046998810617769185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599855954287567,0.08941714490949529,0.0,0.09538071270915102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049201321565,0.0,0.1528488190806093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716999055261926,0.11089466168518697,0.0,0.09047220661387972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384835405636832,0.0564874426672765,0.0,0.1047791091080325,0.0544588070895507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035567572324440695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122854499637466,0.0,0.059902614571733785,0.0,0.0,0.05265767170169533,0.0943311553659656,0.2348291003967559,0.0,0.1458124891556732,0.1297623318331231,0.0,0.0,0.05765401565613679,0.10852273984508803,0.11244167498325608,0.07777293321470738,0.05318390642136196,0.09371268291780248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579254479368698,0.09022595560965567,0.09578437176636176,0.050210286899493285,0.0,0.0,0.15992927373422147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258469381211576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702408042534315,0.07869232756985582,0.040926103435963014,0.0,0.0,0.04979681767108336,0.0,0.1018323681191354,0.0,0.0,0.056511256052060976,0.03595743018520976,0.0,0.0,0.06225898108930635,0.0,0.0,0.050655438026527964,0.03678778416823997,0.09266659380117803,0.05544041703863704,0.0,0.05016247901182906,0.0,0.0,0.21594000168277375,0.05721179268647136,0.0,0.0,0.05334381389645704,0.0,0.0,0.05307819820235557,0.0,0.06798810727934995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063245607115968,0.0,0.0421984941015906,0.05312615927390698,0.0,0.1268550269574898,0.0,0.055357156217300786,0.0,0.05446926754314881,0.043894955449616926,0.059645977620142926,0.0,0.0,0.08992163611139277,0.0,0.0,0.05940062265935104,0.11267657375775952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05804322657176965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979480516228664,0.08530140652522993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03525325634937291,0.06800233001245627,0.0,0.0,0.06188390176802424,0.0,0.0,0.1521143147018164,0.11791175381085925,0.0,0.057718218486228975,0.051835659614197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635881494893442,0.04256461038230025,0.0,0.0,0.04919070979662252,0.047881860580531406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03863110632359725,0.0,0.05407658467372994,0.1130850849151451,0.058016977161156925,0.0,0.13668548858651638
mentalhealth,A_Cuddly_Burrito,2019/03/25,"Should I do anything about this? At what point should you do something if symptoms of mental health conditions show.

I’ve never actually done anything about my anxiety, mostly because it was somewhat a good thing. So far it’s kept me out of bad situations, even if it does make it hard to talk to people or do things. I’m on the fence whether I actually do anything about it.

I don’t see it as a problem, but I think that’s because I’ve had it as long as I can remember. So it seems normal. 

I’m also asking this because as of late I’ve noticed I’m pretty paranoid about everything, this is another thing that’s been happening as long as I can remember, but I’ve started noticing it now. 

It makes for an odd combination, because I end up thinking people are out to get me which then brings anxiety into play. 

But once again. So far it’s kept me out of bad situations and it’s kept me alive, especially with some of the dumb shit I do

Should I do anything about it? Is it worth rocking the boat? ",2.7541350333236707,4.458798339901481,4.47099971022892,84.27628223703275,75.45320197044335,7.5350912778904675,28.197334106056207,8.313332769828598,1.9710228339611704,785,33,161,14,17,265,108,203,0.139,0.789,0.07200000000000001,-0.9159,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,12,7,2,0,6,0,19,3,1,2,1,33,36,19,0,7,7,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,24,6,0,4,5,3,1,1,2,5,0,0,7,2,15,2,28,26,3,20,0,0,1,0,3,10,2,7,9,112,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.2226393405971375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912248560069255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961642963762564,0.17453244136627236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754923973872174,0.0,0.1066436969431329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19049388198767972,0.2781535607195155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982683795368257,0.11673720453242632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103561579780866,0.0,0.0,0.07534473459018315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252226510769906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059598904125333474,0.0,0.0,0.09567977448140767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087517236139383,0.0,0.10218780732003528,0.0,0.0,0.12125522055406053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868032704986354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190362225886666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229042707952184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149596599645395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798082352522314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176820107118852,0.0,0.25974778071852805,0.0,0.12148497971923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816895697652975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783670672271503,0.0,0.0,0.11605416583217815,0.0,0.10915331555423516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25844698091816953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090212849522497,0.10384859355031714,0.0,0.0,0.11709521828190575,0.0,0.25644768450523386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781966077994707,0.0,0.0,0.08074209301584805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856645942427793,0.0,0.09168827916506216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22735688950330055,0.1461878970591797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yeetmo_the_beta_fish,2019/03/25,"Feeling trapped and lonely I’ve always been a very blue person, but a couple of months ago I started to feel very trapped in my life. I constantly find myself thinking about good memories I’ve had and I always feel so alone. Nothing really helps with it so I end up staring at the ceiling most nights. I have a really great family, but I feel like I can’t talk to them about this. The last time I described this, my mom brushed it off as me just needing sleep. So I can’t talk to my parents and my friends have gotten tired of me complaining all the time. The councillors at my school are absolutely horrendous and really annoying. I feel like I’m gonna be this way forever but I’d do anything to stop feeling this way. If anyone is willing to help or offer advice, I’d love to hear you out. ",2.2500828157349915,4.30464647204969,3.8407204968944084,86.64377225672882,78.06832298136645,7.2746997929606625,25.64016563146997,8.238735603445708,1.7158245134575574,626,24,127,12,15,208,100,161,0.179,0.645,0.17600000000000002,0.0989,1,5,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,6,9,1,0,7,0,11,4,1,0,1,24,25,13,0,2,6,2,6,2,1,2,2,1,0,1,6,6,0,1,8,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,10,20,6,18,19,2,18,0,1,2,1,14,6,0,3,12,77,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310459076913783,0.1188760398386927,0.0,0.0,0.13889239303161482,0.0,0.0,0.2231722974162259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376937256740384,0.0,0.1103570337897494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491992278236304,0.0,0.0,0.14838469266005536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877727425803247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642231082803662,0.0,0.4068452713431765,0.19160935620263467,0.0,0.0,0.12256959076981593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360923284601728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248095757903363,0.0,0.14785129659132348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511461434653897,0.0,0.17977558313253422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931351860407464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472236631784987,0.13103391194900282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210350479659277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706221963966888,0.10704137547963162,0.0,0.0,0.09943719905790402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584850961014066,0.0,0.12867741712445038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489077933357672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709536136983473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577333966048517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572147520682468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420190408631752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492024817766244,0.0,0.0,0.1121178308230839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215577126830791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592910433164205,0.0,0.0,0.1563954720521956,0.15413403309426515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22130143001706584,0.0,0.2128927011957924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Starsrulethestate,2019/03/25,"Dealing with an Inferiority Complex Hi!

I feel as though I won’t ever be the person I’m supposed to be until I deal with this! I’ve generally had nothing but negativity from people all my life since I was a child which I believe is down to my appearance and race. It’s reshaped my emotions and change me so that I have two personality’s the one that is me and I only reveal to myself and family and the other one that exists and tries to survive in the real world. I remember every single instance of kindness as it was so rare in my childhood,teen years and early adulthood. I’m 29 and still suffer similar instances, I’ve been around a lot of different people and never been lucky enough to meet good ones. I use those few good instances of kindness to help me through difficult times in my life where I regress into depression and refuse to move on! I’m hoping others have found ways to get over an inferiority Complex and lead a successful, happy life and if so what are the everyday steps you’ve taken to help you get there.",8.951127450980396,6.672684014705883,9.446078431372547,67.71068627450981,61.79411764705882,11.811764705882355,37.86274509803921,10.25414643259724,3.761239215686274,825,31,153,14,9,280,125,204,0.101,0.7190000000000001,0.18,0.9688,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,3,9,13,0,0,10,0,13,3,0,2,3,36,24,21,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,11,16,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,5,0,4,7,1,20,8,27,14,5,23,0,4,0,0,11,10,0,5,8,114,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216084643286686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153908387750726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451122740832092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816699509312083,0.11765870453675352,0.0,0.0,0.1427243852296296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366356825798255,0.0,0.14115070332156804,0.0,0.0,0.12356811262926028,0.11509660025917945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878015091618436,0.0,0.06907219026444572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978162778727758,0.0,0.0,0.1427421839489032,0.0,0.0,0.2291575687447802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454198211074494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18312848875499674,0.0,0.0,0.13568076222620082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845086344201939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894669591859473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161376910023018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519075271415052,0.0,0.0,0.10535910919774084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107731608649384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777036533136921,0.10389515725478886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894110527961292,0.2385584982591265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548774221503756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547481746211286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300204554490435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909387354674888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421488039995233,0.0,0.07965616338434729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927466306318568,0.0,0.1334443903308431,0.0,0.0,0.11798388084565195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843162891651628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796990251140481
mentalhealth,Tickingteapot_,2019/03/25,"Mentally Ill Question Do you consider it rude to call a mentally ill person ""retarded?"" I feel like society has helped make it a bad word when it really isn't... it's just used to describe someone. Thoughts?",2.155384615384616,4.980716846153847,4.093025641025643,79.6103076923077,85.66666666666666,9.273846153846154,30.87692307692308,9.3871,3.967621538461538,163,9,29,6,5,55,32,39,0.28300000000000003,0.66,0.057,-0.8738,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,3,2,0,2,0,7,7,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,1,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,15,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388172536931225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920614572521885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462182033569312,0.20433488482652865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917151844879655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397363878105908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909225702127082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.576487811403878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24974424687197955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320411213913457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832336546777955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423463555412403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270703090052478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470320334832461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Concernedfriendidk,2019/03/25,Why does my friend deserve to die and not me? Im sorry for the vent but my friend took her own life this time last year and she helped me during a really difficult time in my life. I don't know where else to vent this so I'm putting it here. ,-0.5322222222222202,1.3823128148148172,1.2496296296296308,102.13333333333335,87.51851851851852,5.0814814814814815,14.555555555555555,6.42735559955562,-0.9001999999999999,188,3,49,2,6,61,42,54,0.106,0.763,0.13,0.0955,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,4,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,8,2,4,3,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,26,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25942821412603223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21874943595331975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881690918996546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862506459547755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754885931603292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27000926621063165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373763494973009,0.20375798571524809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35312079987127104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251287748525262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601364540402363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798196761491471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915177076657829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27772460361859996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255580181019148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097175180261325
mentalhealth,kkmcfly,2019/03/25,"Psychiatric hospital So...I smoke pot, and just recently I have been having problems and my friend is asking me to go to a Psychiatric hospital, but what will they do if I come up with thc in my system???",3.841166666666666,5.205561450000005,5.540000000000003,79.09166666666668,72.0,10.333333333333336,28.333333333333336,10.504223727775694,3.184333333333334,158,6,31,5,3,54,33,40,0.048,0.883,0.069,0.1999,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,8,9,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,1,5,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4443479125085368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4094349208819701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672210333123969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701279393279763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4548046373127277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4693083519157905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,therapy325,2019/03/25,"Going to therapy for the first time tomorrow, need advice on what I can say without being turned into a hospital/the police So basically I’m going to a therapist for the first time tomorrow. 
I am not actively suicidal but I have had/do have suicidal thoughts BUT it’s not serious as in I know that I am not a danger to myself. I want to talk about this (it’s not the main reason I’m going though, I’m going for my anxiety) with him but I do not want to be turned into the hospital or anything of the sort. I’m in school and frankly I just don’t need to be hospitalized but I’m afraid that my therapist might be obligated to turn me in if I say I have suicidal thoughts. I know they have to if you have a plan but what if you just think about it a lot and want to die (but won’t kill yourself). Lol. Obviously I will tell someone if I ever do plan suicide, but I’m not. On the preliminary form they asked the following- have you ever contemplated suicide? Have you ever attempted suicide? Are you currently experiencing suicidal thoughts? I put no to all three because I feel like they’ll have to turn me in. Idk. Let me know if you guys know anything about this.
Second issue is drugs. Am I going to get in legal trouble if I tell him? I’ve done acid and still smoke weed but I’m most worried about telling him about cocaine usage, because it has the worst reputation I guess. I don’t do it anymore, so I guess it’s not relevant, but I feel like he’s going to ask me about my drug usage. It’s not an issue for me so I guess I’m torn between leaving it out for that reason and telling him for honesty’s sake.
Thanks y’all I’m nervous about the first session so any answers will be helpful!!!",1.7351903651903626,3.697263207977212,3.9217145817145855,85.89037296037299,79.31339031339031,7.2175084175084185,25.73607873607874,8.199878495009871,1.6866193732193735,1330,53,280,26,33,457,149,351,0.15,0.728,0.122,-0.9556,1,0,4,0,0,4,34.0,0,7,3,6,18,10,2,2,15,1,32,2,0,2,5,65,74,26,9,11,27,0,2,2,0,5,2,2,0,1,15,8,0,0,13,0,0,8,13,7,0,5,4,6,45,3,41,59,6,30,0,0,0,0,26,10,0,14,14,198,60,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934441646481124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048257408542461536,0.0,0.05428665276470978,0.0,0.07037642472234114,0.0,0.0,0.1167933321345693,0.0,0.13268202289905195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651701453232505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364859659830522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261999015845295,0.0,0.0,0.16458956231687438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257082781065227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176225092864028,0.10139224664963753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810837816680323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707534241865524,0.0,0.24198012698596635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345218914636304,0.07026472352347424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047565136243346164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481342852336336,0.0,0.0,0.07851026528031213,0.0,0.1559980726130167,0.0,0.0,0.07513978113801881,0.0,0.07256467856657398,0.0,0.06933806878276802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033037386010095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528073959111442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052366253176678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133761485264879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592397431924947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128655677085354,0.0,0.07181854562086261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060126887967609566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056671302142484385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5433555510322936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05703753107059185,0.2480998539462737,0.06533337914934283,0.08115260220861056,0.1647874863393901,0.0,0.04547035235357932,0.06972098241523826,0.16901055928615774,0.0827584236566871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087503303265018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556779954520242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840599121162136,0.0,0.0,0.07206657290755683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smudgeeieio,2019/03/25,"My life is turning upside down! I never post on this stuff because of well trolls but I have no where else to turn. My girlfriend is planning on leaving me my family is getting pushed away and my thoughts on suicide are growing every single day. This whole depression thing has gotten out of control and now I'm stuck dealing with it on my own with no support to help me, I find it hard to have a conversation with me girlfriend anymore because it alwasy turns into fights she never wants to be around me any more and finds any excuse to be away making me feel worse about my situation... Finally last week I went to the doctors to talk about my options and got ""pills""... How do I help myself I have been taking the pills but I feel trapped like the only way to get better is to off my self",6.012222222222222,5.872708764331215,6.170021231422505,81.89704175513094,66.45222929936305,8.251663128096249,31.45718329794763,7.3871296695380915,1.9343862703467791,624,22,122,5,9,199,100,157,0.179,0.6990000000000001,0.122,-0.9299,0,1,0,0,1,1,12.0,0,0,0,3,8,6,1,0,4,0,13,4,0,3,2,24,30,7,1,1,2,0,3,1,2,0,4,0,0,1,7,10,0,1,5,0,0,3,4,2,1,0,6,3,22,4,27,22,4,24,0,1,0,0,11,12,0,1,8,91,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914473672264233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062829583224828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725643734101755,0.0,0.0,0.247505720444478,0.0,0.0,0.1605874440686637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649336186277767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773229654998365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494684485951727,0.13579488539115867,0.1134480284106897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481836971346242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003301014400448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097761468296947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417146931367455,0.0,0.13320057932580087,0.0,0.0,0.14429000494404562,0.24077468730604146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763384021435096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534646042068532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799294425752938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657483206942665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736728455611676,0.0,0.13946973859488485,0.0,0.0,0.09303591530259488,0.0643504824032136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792240652093071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20317720241185425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017704001060544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261488867219987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741000473335807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480559087055871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078494284754113,0.14407748849413596,0.14947137727045673,0.0,0.0,0.09903511401494663,0.10586947989509164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750720688790861,0.0,0.0,0.1045689254808904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4298122167400114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769035218213767,0.10455116403305018,0.10565577630372368,0.0,0.11842978711084035,0.12210337611018135,0.0,0.14705780534515864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342313128733076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,robkat22,2019/03/25,"My brother lives with severe depression and I have no idea how to cope with it. My brother has suffered from depression for years. It’s something we’ve always kind of just lived with in our family. He’s in his 40’s and lives at home with our parents. He has no job and never really has.

My whole life he’s treated me like I’m less worthy of things that he is. For the record, I don’t struggle with depression. Other than a short bout with post-partum, I’ve never personally dealt with this issue. I don’t feel a need to be validated by him, but it gets exhausting having to hear about all the ‘bad’ choices I’ve made in life. I once called him on it and his response was to ask me how I think he must feel — having to live at home with our parents. He completely avoided the question and turned it back into conversation about how much he hates his own life. I understand that he uses me as a way to try to make his own life seem not quite so miserable, but how much am I expected to take?

Lately he’s been in an especially dark mood. He texts me late at night when I’m trying to sleep (I get up really early for my job) and tells me how shitty his life is and how he f*cked it all up. I’m done being a sounding board when he needs to unload his misery. I don’t have a lot of mental health training, however, my job has exposed me to a lot of individuals who struggle and the resources that are out there to help. I provided some of these to him only to get an angry response that he’s not one of my loser clients and that I should just be his sister. I explained that I’m not equipped to deal with him when he’s like that and he needs to start seeing a professional (he’s tried meds in the past, but never counseling), but he refuses and says something along the lines of being too good to do that. He also feels “entitled” to depression because of the crappy life he’s had. We had the same upbringing and I have to say - it was pretty good. He was always the type who thought he was too good for everyone and everything — hence why he’s never worked. He would never lower himself to working a service job but he has no other experience. He’s just sitting around waiting to collect an inheritance. 

My question is — how much do I have to take of the entitled attitude and how far down his spiral of misery do I have to go every time he’s like this? What are my obligations as a sister? Do I have to act as a sort of “sponsor” and be there so he can wallow and make me miserable with him? I’m at my wits end. I don’t know what to do anymore. His depression should not be affecting me and my own family. But it is because I let it. What can I do to separate myself when he’s down?

",3.823729729729732,4.390040922522523,5.312972972972972,83.68783783783786,71.30630630630631,8.594594594594595,26.89189189189189,8.764118213836602,1.7968378378378378,2092,66,447,36,37,708,231,555,0.146,0.7879999999999999,0.065,-0.9944,8,1,2,0,0,0,46.0,4,0,0,4,26,24,1,5,23,0,51,9,1,13,8,93,85,41,0,8,13,6,3,3,0,4,8,4,2,1,28,32,0,3,12,0,1,2,16,15,0,1,10,8,57,8,77,64,14,42,0,9,1,0,69,19,0,7,22,309,85,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654695870764213,0.11767317940289646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012556427732672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294711097086765,0.06610453544608312,0.0,0.0,0.05437181499902262,0.059040102392696636,0.08620862011114598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220306772008568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413834830498868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728991594306556,0.3045131591805473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723611324071539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626282906282269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957643251955934,0.06756667090533501,0.06354981027559949,0.06916818946669638,0.13331865500179846,0.0,0.10725967595049928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110829556267212,0.0,0.04018626269554161,0.17792520022216085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981172938984502,0.0,0.07516168564010632,0.07969558705078596,0.0,0.047395587828628384,0.0,0.1418562855235545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982326159910967,0.0,0.07380312641492663,0.2806760361627269,0.0,0.0,0.07363384071118477,0.038860502332006185,0.0,0.15952847630961706,0.0,0.0,0.0723060179763357,0.299668430201234,0.10363636441767403,0.0,0.2497537730926343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202306461771314,0.0,0.06690774509257949,0.09439927744014356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854314355597948,0.0,0.0712592974064644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594050196258485,0.15729225579784964,0.2726805068657742,0.0,0.0,0.06635677644757945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530410496082911,0.04791509313284798,0.053778328911198915,0.0,0.0,0.15703072184635025,0.0,0.06750093146880813,0.0,0.06174145996275314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772087018341738,0.07193774164646337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842331812028124,0.0752090512199432,0.0,0.0,0.09059758930036307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246325249212773,0.0,0.0,0.056346911702069825,0.06437195286875197,0.0,0.07988245185506253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076131275517072,0.0,0.0,0.10887240493897428,0.0,0.0,0.050049076530075794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784340530056705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633061098012167,0.0,0.061803872261721016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04697674590525006,0.04530827090554633,0.0,0.05613603743738711,0.04123171346458668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440228478203368,0.07691244340835245,0.0,0.07361186050455884,0.0,0.06107094996523248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612650250818786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380499933596187,0.07894546518816843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029558034479052,0.0,0.0,0.05023053045166323,0.0,0.0,0.04553508052297952
mentalhealth,kjmjhn,2019/03/25,"I just prevented a negative mood getting worse! Was feeling bad even after working so hard to do chores, work, exercise etc. Was frustrating. Normally I get suicidal and feel awful for the rest of the night and it gets worse.

First of all i told myself suicide is not an option because it would destroy the people i love and they may end their lives too. So i need to stop considering it. Now, i can focus more on getting out of this hole. Even though its hard to stop thinking of it.

Everyone says it gets better but it will take time. I need to believe people. If i can feel slightly better then thats a lot of progress! I tried doing cbt on my thoughts, but my emotions mainly werent based on any thought. So then i employed dbt and did opposite action. Unfounded emotion therefore i do the opposite of what i normally do when sad which is isolate and dwell on it. Instead i took my mind off of it and watched youtube videos. Which might not sound the best, but i dont have anyone to socialise with right now, atleast the videos have people and distract me. I need to be distracted.

I told myself im working hard, it will pay off eventually. Just relax and distract, no more point in thinking. i still feel kind of bad but its slightly better. 

So amazed by this",2.968435843054081,5.215229760162603,3.691060445387063,87.64964475079533,76.60162601626016,6.554683633792862,27.76882290562036,7.586124646067393,1.6634349946977736,995,42,193,14,23,315,142,246,0.211,0.687,0.102,-0.9755,2,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,2,9,15,18,2,4,9,1,20,2,0,1,1,43,41,21,2,7,9,0,7,0,0,5,1,2,1,0,17,10,0,3,8,4,1,2,5,9,0,1,8,10,25,8,26,27,8,25,0,1,1,1,6,10,0,5,13,140,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695884436184876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155206494867071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17088386406326972,0.0623798974050283,0.0,0.0,0.1152917536726122,0.10738984670154812,0.2715097934403799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993091918636148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23021672202489024,0.09063470309591426,0.0,0.11412587642040856,0.13517703822556046,0.0,0.0,0.09778145140567383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20696608058799484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704251437884061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673180609425561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750048535857422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053480903637496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065617666349362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035995891101696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699797495656744,0.09235752971364164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855679284943004,0.10332492273048988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22763094378787635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603051067495806,0.20052488698487894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21282984729731014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673566909527796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738993220136247,0.0,0.08137754836175237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172149796354128,0.171106238493614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22386654206403508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694001592186944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113887159048918,0.10053947777902976,0.1624784274034002,0.059669904295844324,0.0,0.0,0.19556290281134767,0.11369326859226188,0.069475886590998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349409309831528,0.0,0.2085676267940083,0.07269285442998955,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Meleemailman,2019/03/25,"Getting Professional Help? Hey I've been a little stuck lately and I was hoping you guys would know how to best help. I'm very positive that I have social anxiety and now that I've got some extra cash from taxes I was looking into getting some help since recently I feel like things are getting a lot worse. I don't have a Primary Care Physician and I'm on my parent's insurance (they live about 3 hours away) I guess my big questions are, what type of medical professional should I go to for a diagnosis? is it even worth taking the time to find a Dr within my insurance network, and go to the appointment (a terrifying idea for me) if all they're going to suggest is therapy? (which I can't afford) Maybe none of this is making sense I've just had a lot going through my head recently and was hoping you guys could understand and talk me through it heck even the thought of posting this is giving me anxiety.",2.75955151121222,4.972169563535914,4.339148521286969,82.9166330841729,77.12154696132595,7.79473513162171,26.116672083197926,8.671277953709913,2.0928125446863826,725,28,140,16,17,242,112,181,0.079,0.764,0.158,0.9392,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,1,1,6,5,0,0,10,0,18,4,1,2,1,29,41,8,0,6,2,1,1,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,9,7,0,0,7,0,3,4,3,0,0,0,8,2,18,5,18,30,8,17,0,0,1,0,15,6,1,9,7,93,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19608072724361628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040846860990778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449370083238182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066541491126388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232357229667026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692940319492409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648004326759392,0.0915559555038967,0.0,0.0,0.11713390432546936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20087147762907973,0.12294063637135777,0.2913401168396421,0.0,0.10249949738494606,0.0,0.14118026160146305,0.2537927351640081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152687284502873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577044088478034,0.0,0.0,0.25457921818890783,0.1262096142366562,0.0,0.0,0.14467455294981926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070432173399829,0.0,0.14456757673453113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261142592231862,0.12844778046242902,0.1131656823645455,0.0,0.10762027178486287,0.0,0.0,0.2179103514198973,0.0,0.0,0.08554632439744267,0.0,0.12875173227138648,0.0,0.0,0.12910549719854034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230406668049214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273974306341714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356606249057569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530807261572401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601345370026903,0.0,0.0,0.13064073434996887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635871361464032,0.10300838238245906,0.0,0.0,0.14655960948397706,0.0,0.08514234543574589,0.0,0.0,0.1017429751419589,0.07472984181982681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341678599638046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574360397184293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306037435704284,0.09103962168350832,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JosShavaughn,2019/03/25,"A DECADE of stability, I overcame my illness So I'm 33/f/U.S. I made an attempt on November 24, 2007, and did in 2009 go into in-patient psychiatric hospitalization. But ever since I left that hospital I've never had a major episode, gotten a lil manic, lil depressed, never been absolutely out of control like before. Got my cocktail of meds that works great and still does, but I was talking to my also mentally ill mother who's in transition on some meds and she spit out the whole ""I'll never be 'normal'..."" and I hate hearing this from mentally ill folks. It's not that we'll never ""be"" normal. No one's normal in that sense, but our minds can feel ""normal"" when on the right meds, and with therapy, self awareness, and a solid support team. My brain to me, feels as though it functions much more what I'd consider normal as opposed to before. Before there was this constant battle of self-hatred for no real reason, I just internalized EVERYTHING and turned into hate for myself. I was miserable. And since then I've come to learn that some of the things I'd internalized and been so hard on myself are simply part of who I am, so I learn a little slower than others, I don't think on the same base level as the average person. I'm very creative, very empathetic. I have taken my quirks and wrapped them as gifts instead. And celebrate what sets me apart rather than hating myself for things I can't control. I am planning to write more on how I made it 10 whole years, but to put it as simply yet truthfully is that I woke up each day and put one foot in front of the other and just took it day by day, of course some were better than others and vice versa, but that's what life truly is, it's never ALL sunshines and rainbows, rain storms will come, but they'll also retreat for the sun to come back out. I'm not perfect to this day, but I face these imperfections not as flaws or damages but as markers to prove that I took the hit & still learned from it. 

​

As this anniversary approaches June 1st of this year, I want to encourage those who are newly diagnosed to first off not give up on yourself. You can be anything you set your mind to, you may have to approach the situation differently than others, but nothing is impossible unless you make it that way. You can be your own barrier and we all know we can. But at the end of that tunnel is a glimmer of hope and cling to that because you're more than a diagnosis, you're a unique, beautiful, gifted individual who's brain works in it's own beautiful unique way and we're not any less than someone who is ""normal."" Normal means something different to everyone. It can only hold the meaning YOU give it. If it's something you want to achieve, go for it. I love all my fighters out there w/ me and those who watch over us. Your life wasn't wasted or in vain. We will conquer mental illness and society's stigma and we will persevere. ",6.1082579723940995,6.035143563699826,6.6680310963033484,78.1826368396002,66.24258289703316,9.458543550690148,30.976201808662534,9.095868883498916,2.4756345549738206,2294,78,444,36,33,752,278,573,0.094,0.79,0.116,0.9413,3,0,2,0,1,0,78.0,7,10,2,13,19,18,4,1,20,0,37,13,5,7,12,108,73,52,0,12,22,1,3,1,0,6,7,1,0,2,47,36,1,5,11,2,0,12,15,8,0,3,17,6,51,10,75,45,19,67,0,3,2,1,37,29,0,8,23,315,98,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510065057520036,0.0,0.14239910270729073,0.0798479754813655,0.04468680676241745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054075853033467916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0505289166734569,0.0,0.04005777793336584,0.0,0.16774969303802048,0.0,0.0,0.05811743560991105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467139401278688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981670337312915,0.0,0.07101195254061367,0.14740448889030347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951670747397501,0.0,0.05659814757510515,0.06669688394169998,0.0,0.13731131665263913,0.0,0.0,0.05750552027728404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058201840027072925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059440789372140576,0.0,0.06279118481036412,0.05905822838703258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645250826642679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055895085705420594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260749861903451,0.07469194542051512,0.0,0.05255635198718985,0.0724483497854101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886556307292819,0.1946327002638855,0.0,0.0,0.07406285181768868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526741760260041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036113914612891165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139690881598962,0.0,0.09282947509707606,0.03210384658604706,0.06586126697386302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930816768937289,0.12435766128655505,0.043863656417330345,0.0,0.0,0.14316052458468465,0.21897558262949973,0.0,0.19866847010303307,0.0,0.1327019434753516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048306306185941714,0.0,0.2534079579676414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4506906238206039,0.06305299135173346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890570876971506,0.04997737707377572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116031887479134,0.0,0.0,0.057377688896565415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211858266309925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479530065077006,0.0,0.0675634751156454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611818299418838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710510151909686,0.0,0.0,0.10871624798556913,0.07386369148655504,0.0,0.0,0.05567805452026948,0.10117750671555063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495630015389124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456985535599135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052817281452530056,0.0,0.0,0.07514806042625786,0.0,0.08731303450065837,0.04210596694713825,0.06456227473827658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601818519246978,0.0,0.07147641556939878,0.0,0.0,0.07904414096279982,0.0,0.0,0.10843951848595904,0.07751796271061859,0.10431917229394584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673149433440694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567907956652767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798479754813655,0.08463349216891664
mentalhealth,Ivan_Today,2019/03/25,"I have quite successfully decreased my levels of neuroticism? So about 6 months ago I had a level of neuroticism about 60 and a while back it was even worse about 75.Now I score about 35-30, witch is really amazing like I can really feel it,how im more confident,relaxed and generally feeling really good.But I have put a lot of effort in to this.
      -Meditating 20 min every day
      -Cold showers every day(they help regulate my mood and beat my fears)
      -NoFAP(not really sure if this helped with neuroticism but deff helped with anxiety)
      -Exercising regularly
      -Also pushing my self hard to beat my fears
Other than maybe genetically I might have been more prone to neuroticism(DAD), could the fact that I used to overtrain a lot affect me levels of neuroticism.And not just overtraining im basically a very active person I would stress my selfe out to do a lot of things during a day,things that would completely burnout a normal person.I would always find a way to fill my day with activity.I would work as a bartender for 8-9 hours that's about 51 hours a week and then train about 3 hours everyday about 20  hours a week and also go to school for about 5 hours.And id barely rest like not even a day.And when I didn't work  I used to parkour about 30 hours week and still do a lot of other stuff.And iv read that overtraining actually increases the likely hood of depression and anxiety also the stress hormone cortisol all while decreasing testosterone.And so for the past 6 months Iv only trained fitness and only for about 12-14 hours a week.Iv made it mandatory to fully rest 1 day of the week and not do anything.My body is not as good as it used to be, and also my parkour skills haven't increased much but my mental health is significantly better.Do you guys think that stoping this overtraining might have helped me as much as meditation on lowering my neuroticism, or even more?
",5.011466134642929,6.632559002762432,5.676457949662371,78.24526601186825,69.4696132596685,9.34086351544915,27.772048291385307,9.725611199111238,2.5977406179660316,1517,52,283,36,27,492,182,362,0.111,0.821,0.067,-0.9343,2,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,9,24,18,0,8,20,0,24,5,1,5,3,48,32,29,0,7,9,0,3,3,0,6,4,0,1,4,14,14,0,0,4,2,0,6,6,10,0,0,5,4,23,7,44,19,14,39,0,1,0,0,9,7,0,8,28,171,37,6,0.0,0.0,0.07005958116995745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364013499361389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296512444563735,0.059737501155303276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984284906607752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055204361398262715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349504660239721,0.0,0.07974580363553914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527356174099474,0.0,0.0,0.05732084364273461,0.0,0.0,0.27780315308103765,0.0,0.061835178723505226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225573614956274,0.0,0.12097734503393295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157409879335735,0.07260136420237029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561747273283729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040801598569591264,0.12043307186635803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108632626614943,0.0,0.0,0.0643123983597536,0.0,0.0,0.07631256851465466,0.0,0.0,0.19248525429741387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242096753362455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509745181606924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522325428014816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441432585183454,0.0,0.06793224284493707,0.0,0.0,0.07212568666838395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235042654146195,0.1523219888382019,0.0,0.0,0.11460892530857347,0.0,0.105552185167061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034186621434625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092035755901042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853451214734015,0.0,0.12537370213230736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217176287287493,0.0,0.07636065936075205,0.07181239687540023,0.0,0.1839696563978424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265831714629004,0.0,0.0,0.1497914475926544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057333957525390486,0.0,0.1644772061161496,0.0,0.08218577281958905,0.0,0.0,0.06766402334458045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047696058303633965,0.04600203545614824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860182224674595,0.0,0.05923671792766859,0.0,0.056985916849349214,0.287939944943805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453227249612372,0.0,0.07316316852827416,0.2039986604331603,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oregon008,2019/03/25,"(F, 29) Feeling lost in life and seeking insights Hi, I am kind of confused about the way I am feeling and how to get better, so I am writing here to try and understand my thoughts and hopefully receive some advice or gain insights which I am unable to see. Thank you for reading, I appreciate it.

​

I was always a very happy person, and I think I still am deep inside, but something changed some years ago, but it is almost like I can't really pinpoint why I still feel the way I feel. - My life situation is not bad, is actually privileged and easy compared to how other people have to go through life - I live in a European capital, I work (since 1 month) part time in a restaurant, I sometimes do some online teaching, I have a studio where I am painting, I graduated with a Masters from a university in London, I have loving parents. Yet a part of me feels like: is this it? I feel like I was very interested in art and in doing coursework when I was at university, because I had a structure and I felt like I was going on this journey together with others. I had this feeling that new things and new discoveries were just around the corner, and I never had the feeling that I could predict what would happen in my life (a good feeling.) Then I got together with a guy in my last year at university who triggered in me a lot of insecurities and I became kind go angry at him, at life, at myself - I felt like I was not good enough as I was, I wanted to be like him (I know it sounds silly, but I genuinely believe I wanted to become him, as he was very social, outgoing, and everybody like him so much, I became jealous of the skills he had, and I even was angry that my past was not similar to his, and that people didn't act towards me exactly the way they did towards him) - I kind of distanced myself a bit from the people I used to hang out with at university, and it was like I became part of this bubble which was just me and him, and my anger and jealousy and my attempt to become him...then we graduated and we moved to home city, a different European capital, where I started receiving unemployment money, and he was looking for a job. I didn't realise it at the time, but here I started to isolate myself, didn't really see people and spent long days depressed, but I was fully functioning, going to internships and reading and listening to music, watching things and sometimes seeing my family - basically I didn't really realise I was depressed. Of course my relationship didn't go that well and he moved back to London and came to see me some weekends, but I think it was easier for him to not be so much around me, as I was always angry and irritated at him. After a year of this, of not really talking to anyone about how I felt, but spending many days feeling sad, but still fully functioning, I moved to Berlin, where I think things got a bit better, I slowly started to make friends, and my boyfriend also joined me, but after 1 year me and him split up, and I have been here 2 years now since we broke up. After we broke up I started developing a kind of social anxiety, because without him, it was like I couldn't hide behind him, and I started spending more time alone with other people, and it was becoming difficult to hide how I was feeling. Then I went to therapy for some months and I feel like I understood more what happened and I felt better, but now, even now, I still feel insecure when I talk to people and I cannot fully enjoy my time in the company of other people - I feel like I overcompensate when I am in the company of others, I smile too much because my face naturally droops down, and even though I have told a lot of people how I am feeling- confused about why I feel the way I feel, confused about why my face looks sad all the time - I still feel like I cannot be comfortable in myself. When I am alone, it is ok, but it is together with others that I feel 'different'. When people ask me if I like living in Berlin, in my head I do not think super positive, I feel a bit sad, like something is missing for me living in this city, and my answer always seems to come out 'yeah, it's a cheap city, I can afford to have free time here which I couldn't in London' and even if I am going to classes and learning about new things that interest me, it is like they don't mean so much, paradoxically - I don't know, I basically still feel a little bit like life has disappointed me, and sometimes I feel a bit of an anger about how my life turned out, and what happened in the past - I have spoken to another psychologist about this, but it doesn't seem to be something I am resolving - I basically just feel like I wish I could just feel better, and retort to my old, happy self - I feel really terrible when I think about how I cannot be joyful around people, and it really affects how I interact with others, and it leaves me feeling bad about myself - I am searching for something which can break this whole circle of circumstances? A part of me feels like life used to appear exciting and free and limitless, and now it seems a bit more mundane, like time is falling through my hands...well I find it hard to explain, and I sometimes don't really know what action I should take? I am working, I take music classes, I paint and I even have exhibitions - but somehow it doesn't make me amazingly happy, not the kind of happiness I took for granted and just was part of me when I was at university, when I felt like my life had a course, had things to follow and direction - I don't know, it just seemed easier. 

​

Ok I think this is confusing enough, I really appreciate the time to read all of this, and I would be very grateful if anyone could share some of their thoughts, thanks a million x.

​

TLDR, I do not know why my joy is not how it used to be, I am searching for ways to get it back",7.50625570072723,5.974477099223472,8.079191267102184,74.0013778041415,64.03019844693702,11.108597312954519,34.84655799334402,10.041961382958581,3.258945876987552,4574,164,897,82,56,1532,353,1159,0.111,0.716,0.174,0.9967,7,2,4,0,0,0,148.0,4,1,3,13,69,81,3,6,42,3,100,13,3,16,4,212,204,98,0,15,33,1,33,20,1,3,9,2,2,3,60,72,0,0,59,5,7,22,28,23,1,1,51,42,173,60,130,138,31,132,0,10,7,1,46,45,0,24,79,670,233,13,0.0,0.0,0.030426005851717317,0.0,0.0,0.03046755715050818,0.027638120116968333,0.0,0.031221058939499682,0.06458365617074481,0.0,0.02493367070926792,0.07782976415355572,0.1013466324927753,0.11365694407550173,0.0,0.032693684578427334,0.02385169246406306,0.0,0.0,0.04360187613630657,0.0,0.0,0.08326721222065903,0.029147964043891424,0.0,0.0,0.047949136860216235,0.052065982162255935,0.057018911236189664,0.10330358684589393,0.0,0.035127824520347364,0.0,0.1103004401235575,0.2042350102421191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03566023479982839,0.0,0.0,0.03298303043653035,0.026857770715760745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468119113651316,0.0,0.0,0.04021548621006079,0.0,0.05370850005852238,0.0,0.0,0.06515040840062647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443205870279498,0.0,0.10296649861558543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029392592627338707,0.0,0.4256532537715401,0.15591895922065305,0.14968266111278838,0.0,0.028496853335462518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024088659300148644,0.0,0.032579266553876066,0.0,0.10631776463175442,0.05230258714303312,0.04987306042188015,0.0,0.0,0.0308719084932015,0.08271391506089174,0.13276162611530426,0.027930075746312472,0.0,0.031998438255095636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03127487306232602,0.03096757802432685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030940142589482057,0.0,0.0,0.16233958282740005,0.08567525034834739,0.02541487890820953,0.0,0.033013841529129916,0.0,0.0,0.19820254169366175,0.30464768196829073,0.031249343067510364,0.08259434033691937,0.027592252006562863,0.05236466962553053,0.0,0.03403533731759488,0.05301419226526775,0.028140079351436448,0.0,0.041624174892491005,0.031610403933171244,0.0,0.03396284760394097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04977323263806499,0.09941437288486774,0.09168000578717986,0.0,0.024047008441883302,0.09033802209062226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03271690000600122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034620361547635224,0.16881798054342512,0.05952737463791007,0.21615450340539646,0.027224120748560888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356169581957413,0.0,0.15979147316111705,0.0,0.0,0.033474356971277694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938184998612364,0.1135360141322728,0.03252628252183769,0.0,0.0,0.051582842031596514,0.03504627137543689,0.0,0.06356570914026459,0.0,0.09601183710372001,0.12334650006122755,0.0,0.1103425561713904,0.0,0.14939655345108052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688514645324894,0.0501206679992465,0.0,0.0574104899730038,0.035655668787089416,0.0,0.10356902830533284,0.11986867548501995,0.03063300730785997,0.049504960279951694,0.1454448465205898,0.0,0.0,0.0297926742972194,0.034640787923086565,0.02116835484604037,0.03391357521637838,0.0,0.03245822466963524,0.0,0.08078540337817458,0.0,0.10290308313042787,0.03678012163962646,0.12374137916394487,0.0,0.0,0.028033480691913124,0.028903054882624683,0.11253604999505858,0.034810010617348064,0.0358540749721233,0.030055245294836982,0.0,0.045397067489524386,0.0,0.0,0.04429704212065303,0.0,0.11365694407550173,0.10039060715448618
mentalhealth,fukmylief,2019/03/25,"I want to cry beside a friend, just talk about life. Tldr at the end :) () :xd:'(


I struggled alot with sadness in autumn. I had a break with most of the sadness couple months back. Its been growing inside of me but ive been supressing it. I did go to the doctor in autumn but i dont feel good with the pills giving fake happiness. Also the doctors were annoyingc, thinking that my sadness is because of vitamin shortage, feel like they just tried to milk me for money.

I had an emotion diary but i stopped it after finding myself happy almost all the time. Been feeling pretty good for maybe 2 months. Over these few weeks sadness has gotten worse everyday. Today i felt happiness on top of deep sadness. Probably one of the worst feelings. Now im just in bed listening to spotify and writing this because i feel so bad.

Im stressed because i failed a test and now i have to make it again. The teacher is the worst. Feels like she likes to mentally fuck up people. Talking shit to us and then be nice and make us the bad guys in front of other teachers. I cried couple weeks ago because she made me feel so bad. She is like a black hole that takes all of your positivity and energy. I feel so mentally tired in her classes.

I do have bestfriend group of 4 people. They are my best friends but i dont see 3 of them very often. 2 of them i only see in summer because all they do is play games. One is on the same class as me so ive been with him alot, but now he is outaide of the country so ive been pretty lonely in school.

Im so confused of my emotions. I dont know. Im so lost. I want to cry but i dont want to alone. Im planning to go drinking with my friends on friday so im waiting for that. If someone is worried, no, i dont drink alot, almost never, now i just feel like i need to get out of this world for a day. I often cried myself to sleep, i want to now but i cant, i feel like i need a friend beside me to get my tears out.

I have been feeling like not living since the autumn. I still dont want to kill myself. I just feel like not living would be easier. 

I might have ADHD but i dont want to the doctor because i feel like they watch me as a joke. They dont seem to take me seriously. I forgot what i was about to tell so im ending this now. (not an ADHD joke, just seriously forgot) 

Thank you if read this as a whole. Thank you if you commented. Thank you and bye. Im already feeling better. Not here to get attention, just needed to take this mount everest of emotions off my shoulders.

Tldr: im a mess and probably need help. 


My username says it all",0.2537686276856768,2.4389233172541758,2.446495002693162,93.00659569692982,86.69944341372913,4.887437907714406,20.38186007540846,6.291566192602671,0.15577835896822112,1984,63,432,19,62,669,229,539,0.193,0.5870000000000001,0.22,0.8556,0,3,2,0,0,1,64.0,2,5,7,6,31,50,3,3,28,0,42,14,3,3,5,91,94,32,1,14,22,0,15,9,4,2,7,2,1,1,16,14,3,4,20,7,1,4,15,23,0,2,17,21,74,27,65,73,14,52,0,8,4,1,37,19,2,14,38,289,90,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108081278082654,0.0,0.03985982680768165,0.0,0.0900543160543573,0.04657142632490893,0.04962132435312784,0.035959457153564224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03457623533614795,0.1126347064910476,0.16446588386029465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047189256983206605,0.0397689533652183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099508499077974,0.19757305490789384,0.02899948166763316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380744457583363,0.0,0.0,0.4216004502880669,0.0880995223631776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174278189896198,0.07965342026934978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31830769409568394,0.2248670562348989,0.04317460755520521,0.0,0.04109829589379603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896311090184196,0.041570531092305164,0.07047895715390147,0.04313568031440583,0.05111066004569784,0.07543103714333445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044523611611562416,0.0,0.1436020811455252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030139898745097662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.437140949770885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049748442512458524,0.0,0.024712249792222776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03176095974736834,0.1977139438265597,0.0,0.07941196403593524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04908592353889691,0.0,0.0,0.042548109533838654,0.060030580777768724,0.0,0.045174595862742715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906307150886451,0.04770203657410222,0.0,0.0,0.07178319018136392,0.0,0.0,0.13336748222997016,0.034680708661796913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094052723252219,0.03419882445439438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06234780826609005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914935903744924,0.0969623466491612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044978372569215774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035758930292342964,0.0,0.045508199155758336,0.07166448570866861,0.04093554337807928,0.0,0.0,0.04615716230207892,0.037196508679421966,0.0,0.04499867813060004,0.0,0.03809971879256612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03591006866013667,0.03759376006069198,0.051508634843868265,0.04700843970963448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142696805554052,0.0722842630931593,0.039302444327909684,0.12419651793881255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02881252791602185,0.0,0.0,0.02622015520522528,0.05168203678927705,0.04262270370360755,0.0,0.0,0.030529100908302718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817761392098488,0.0,0.0,0.03710182760437728,0.15913339318844252,0.0,0.07213835317995579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05020316101489079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045665362950449054,0.04582440352351346,0.031942701232016514,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AffectionateDemon,2019/03/25,"I know I need a therapist, but I don't want one. I need some help one just how to get through this stumbling block. I lie, not maliciously, but as a defensive habit. I've had two therapists in the past, and I lied to them. I hurt myself and struggle daily with suicidal thoughts and what i think is severe anxiety. I lied to my original therapist, that I was happier and that she helped soooo much. She didn't. I didn't trust her. Same with my second therapist, except she was a really sweet lady from church whom I didn't want to burden with my problems. So, I didn't tell her a lot of things. Now, I find myself throwing up my food, cutting my hips, constantly sad and having anxiety attacks. I know I probably should go see a therapist, but moneys tight in my family and I'm still under my parents roof. I don't want help, I think I need it though, because yesterday the only reason I didn't kill myself is because the knife was too dull to do it fast. I just don't know what to do. I told my mom I think I might need one, just for a consultation, to see if its just a phase or something that needs to be addressed. She doesn't know about the aforementioned stuff, and always always always says its just teen angst and to go outside or get off the screens. I just don't know what to do. I want to talk to someone, but I know they'll just tell my parents and I'll loose their trust and get in trouble. I just don't know what to do. I don't want help, but I think I need it. I don't want to be brushed off, or have things blown out of proportion. I hate this. Please help. ",2.7112844036697226,3.9101927033639186,3.981536391437309,89.81384587155966,74.565749235474,7.678483180428135,24.39498470948012,8.238735603445708,1.213015755351682,1222,37,275,20,25,401,148,327,0.197,0.674,0.129,-0.9616,2,0,1,0,0,3,42.0,0,0,3,0,15,15,5,1,12,0,30,2,1,3,0,70,64,23,2,15,19,3,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,18,14,1,3,14,0,1,3,14,12,0,5,11,7,54,3,33,48,4,18,1,3,3,0,24,8,0,7,7,189,72,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977085868043898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211794603580944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010432904903327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656227266636676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558981398324496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466511063046533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238969130383595,0.0,0.09577203186442276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414018247791556,0.0,0.09002526315456992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819611588680624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26543898215690337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478796258579772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762588126840387,0.0,0.3046935320514431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733517149469255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840213840273805,0.0,0.09276106352156326,0.0,0.0,0.058222983775974575,0.35236610151230424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100908291873556,0.060237104516574234,0.0,0.0,0.17589010658532978,0.0,0.07560779120836505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694061039087363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539373944076196,0.07578613907886983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05073917845836218,0.08143340748027425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06298504278394794,0.0,0.0,0.1262283480391653,0.0,0.0,0.08947633180233636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710805940187789,0.06097398866845509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632512547898429,0.0,0.0,0.08279969680614202,0.09066796504340152,0.08663472919531254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636600055749386,0.13845303074053053,0.0,0.0,0.4598012967138429,0.10523730321244057,0.2029991712467891,0.077816098381802,0.0628779737623652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568142594914458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736937793738229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802942788385112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,s_tatiic,2019/03/25,"[VENT POST] I Can't Seek Professional Help And I Don't Know What To Do This is honestly just a big vent post; I wanna be anon on an account with a user none of my friends know about. I just can't stand to hear the generic ""we're here for you"" and ""it'll get better"" comments. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I appreciate that they're willing to put up with me but I just want to scream into a void and it's easier to do this way. I don't want them to be worried about me when I know I'm probably being over dramatic.

I wanna start with the fact that my parents insurance was recently discontinued. I'm 19, but in the US(where I live), I could remain on my parents insurance until I'm 24(since I still live with them). Now, we were on state funded medical insurance and I have no idea what happened, but we no longer have it. I'm assuming my parents started making a little bit more so we  make ""too much"" to qualify now. This absolutely devastates me because I was just starting to open up to the idea of returning to a therapist. I stopped going because of personal reasons. I had some hardships of my own around the time I was in seventh grade and my mom pushed me into a catholic therapist that kept preaching the word of god into my ear instead of actually giving me any life advice. I have nothing against people of faith, I'm delving into a new faith myself, but I needed something more solid than just ""god"" at the time. 

Because of my life circumstance, I was forced to grow up faster than I should've had to and it sucked. As a teenager I had a 'fuck you, fuck that, fuck the world' type of attitude that I didn't grow out of until I was 17 and by that time I had found myself in a really toxic mindset. I kept telling myself that it was time to 'act like an adult' and that 'adults deal with their own problems, that's just how it has to be' and the idea of seeing a therapist made it feel like I was somehow being immature and acting like a child. I don't know what put that idea in my head, but I've left that mindset behind and I just really wanted to actually do something about how I've been feeling. 

I'm not diagnosed with anything, I'm not a professional, so I'm not going to make assumptions for what I do and do not have. The absolute extent of my knowledge in mental health is from a half semester psychology class I took in high school and the biggest thing I grasped from it was that you shouldn't self diagnose. So I won't for my own sake. But I don't know what to do. I've lost motivation to do what I love, I've started feeling unimaginably exhausted despite how much I sleep or how much I try to get myself into a normal sleeping schedule. I can't focus on anything, my attention span feels nonexistent. I go into these fits every few weeks where I just want to self destruct and go out and get drunk, or do drugs, or make bad decisions, just to give myself a reason to feel so awful. 

I've had my hardships in the past, they've been rough and they've been hard to overcome; honestly I can't say I've fully overcome them. But everyone has things they go through and trauma they deal with. When it really comes down to it, my life is pretty good. I get food on my table, I live in a nice house, I have the luxuries of a car, cellphone, and internet, I don't have to pay rent, and  I have a loving and supportive relationship with my parents(even if we do butt heads sometimes). Overall, I should be happy. 

I know that mental illnesses don't happen based solely on life circumstance, I know this. But I can't seem to do anything about it. I tell myself ""I'm going to start doing these things that will put me on track to being a better, healthier person"" but I don't have the motivation for it at all. In the end it just feels like I've been lazy. My head feels so full all of the time and I don't know how to fix it, seeing a therapist was my last flying leap into trying to get better and it's gone. With the few measly hours I get at my job, I'm hardly making $200 a month and that could be enough for maybe one session. But I still have gas money to pay for and my parents and I have talked about me starting to pay for some of the bills just to help out. I know they're struggling too. 

In the end, rather than persevere or look for another solution, I'm here online whining about it. I still can't tell if I'm depressed or just lazy. And that's the worst part. Because it feels like I'm just being lazy and ungrateful. It's gotten to the point where I can't do or say anything without feeling bad about it, my self worth is at an all time low and my self preservation has been gone for a long time. I'm not suicidal or anything like that, I don't specifically *want* to die and taking my own life hasn't crossed my mind in years. But death doesn't feel like a burden or something to be afraid of anymore. Things I used to be scared of like roller coasters, the ocean, or heights, I don't feel myself being afraid of anymore. There's still a weariness in the back of my mind but when I really come down and think ""what if I did die doing this"" I couldn't find myself to be against it.

I don't really know what to do anymore but I guess writing all of this down has helped. At least it's not just swimming around in my head anymore.  ",4.230347277032362,4.642027793738492,5.281197579584318,84.8316464088398,70.32596685082872,8.489323862141543,28.037305972112602,8.505502328695277,1.7921745751118126,4128,136,882,62,70,1364,370,1086,0.126,0.754,0.12,-0.9627,7,0,4,0,0,1,111.0,4,3,6,7,54,46,5,4,51,1,97,28,8,16,5,187,194,72,4,19,47,5,14,8,2,6,12,5,1,9,58,59,2,3,38,3,9,22,35,22,0,2,31,22,124,24,144,141,25,126,3,4,3,7,50,59,5,18,48,606,182,14,0.0,0.0,0.08429955512814331,0.0,0.0,0.042207339440910464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029372470441422587,0.045291239982222384,0.0,0.0,0.17134193628413402,0.0,0.0,0.17771927666087758,0.07690119850292544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03321246736914814,0.07212808600278843,0.10531930863195177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460111719276347,0.047155166616649064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441325470410091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897160299788478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905941263400897,0.037201750071951575,0.08767922320017638,0.08965426416267452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05008973958750084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651170220868671,0.04462953427987869,0.0,0.028528325632680814,0.0,0.03639165477668327,0.04127241021337523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402344141203145,0.1234272978038367,0.0,0.0,0.03947728253322226,0.0,0.05222870125006647,0.04735849085072824,0.06674103963998702,0.11979267499760946,0.15796457011104495,0.08286861544989799,0.14728420654940613,0.0362279298973429,0.0,0.0,0.047581552988013184,0.0,0.07639020247484161,0.04597935921228282,0.07738422754482555,0.0,0.1773124032675274,0.04591174732307676,0.04868123465138903,0.0,0.08685333095252812,0.045635386437959995,0.0,0.0,0.04253604136497737,0.049838497398725805,0.0,0.19503689337625105,0.0,0.0,0.04286202186060912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373754059292781,0.035207759375961115,0.0,0.0,0.046928920317714604,0.0,0.15254116432385112,0.16881390338191538,0.04329036370196395,0.114419654364718,0.038224119532363515,0.03627093197327499,0.0,0.04714985937511084,0.0,0.11694910837908346,0.040869912116609,0.14415708403831504,0.0,0.043392803653127504,0.0,0.0,0.04351203196759393,0.08705602672646351,0.0,0.08722448961216031,0.05058668778338722,0.0344759462442031,0.0,0.095254661501626,0.03202678883780558,0.0,0.0417157124868232,0.0,0.0,0.042319608037391036,0.04144449467084444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029268444821880863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184122234541687,0.04677341063693722,0.04123225395060278,0.029944332103306926,0.07542827931616282,0.0,0.0,0.04083099769711507,0.0,0.08273320253213902,0.04394243409174998,0.04656896193025607,0.04132951488853887,0.0,0.13026157310813613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138351528195991,0.08881843745537428,0.04264751263844798,0.04637272165515111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869702811447811,0.04324335897470171,0.043713248848383866,0.06883786999903925,0.03932094935915231,0.1802373377515444,0.0,0.0,0.035729390974788784,0.0,0.08644764905940475,0.0,0.0,0.09975539339181608,0.04271861681603245,0.0,0.18343180059091507,0.0,0.13797476469068132,0.036110973828142,0.0,0.045154316389632125,0.0,0.04724572822499825,0.04901448617508072,0.0,0.0,0.032475483369300416,0.03471660095358335,0.1132567907186641,0.0,0.0,0.20059989617391805,0.11478106004112072,0.02767609411291552,0.0,0.0,0.1763017947127362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04798860266832778,0.058649922865743435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05195541731905747,0.037304565480472236,0.0,0.0,0.127380665198473,0.034284300296598694,0.03464652351189553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04163615526746793,0.0,0.0,0.04386421373371712,0.0,0.0,0.0472243618642164,0.0,0.027814638449133542
mentalhealth,JxR-33,2019/03/25,"Anyone know what this is? I feel like my emotions are kind of out of tune, for example, I feel like I don't ever reach a high level or happiness or sadness. Idk it's weird to explain.

  


I'm currently isolating myself from everyone except my family.

  


I feel VERY apathetic, I was much more sympathetic before. Now I read the news and people die and I don't really feel anything, I just think 'atleast they don't have to struggle in this world anymore' and then proceed to make an edgy joke about it in real life.

  


OCD / HOCD was affecting me majorly until recently. But now it's giving me less anxiety but fucking with my sense of sexuality : e.g. questioning sexuality, watching stuff I don't necessarily align with.

  


I just don't know anymore.

  


  


Any ideas what this is? Anything within reason would be appreciated. **Thanks.**",2.7990196078431397,5.659668281045754,4.846568627450985,75.45455882352944,81.87581699346406,8.105882352941178,26.800653594771237,8.841846274778883,2.8025398692810457,649,28,112,18,18,222,104,153,0.087,0.794,0.119,0.7772,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,0,6,10,1,1,3,0,13,2,0,3,1,30,26,9,1,1,7,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,11,2,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,5,17,6,17,22,4,15,0,1,1,1,4,7,1,3,10,75,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057531046892018,0.0,0.11896581781844395,0.0,0.3084511015449501,0.10873720723989652,0.0,0.2559453118863603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232877244021385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139631160302007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749294267808214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066899106712355,0.0,0.14859783506379656,0.0,0.0,0.14660233545205045,0.0,0.31452500515072856,0.22219479243643506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143767810579483,0.0,0.14918073341157173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16554480829306295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164306363304728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755534748482362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194122295065666,0.1709300292186448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098423215869728,0.151950058413914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038050866739123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431879396508862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781204441364896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420839136265714,0.0,0.1555535129764408,0.1770060524135179,0.09962460375541407,0.15989164978958095,0.1535487754692727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16257431113413798,0.17802338085097527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431740305491203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964544466725496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831321570885815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047085758718206,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thescopeoflife,2019/03/25,"how long does a stay in a mental health facility take on average (especially after suicide attempt)? Don't worry about me, I'm just asking to know.

I know every case is different etc. but what is the range of weeks/months?",3.1136046511627917,5.37651704651163,5.067616279069767,77.87723837209303,76.2093023255814,8.020930232558143,24.703488372093023,8.841846274778883,2.0986790697674413,175,6,32,4,4,60,39,43,0.078,0.879,0.043,-0.3415,1,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,0,5,8,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,6,8,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25549885255950283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855406052559535,0.0,0.0,0.2391669014007462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048020362842687,0.0,0.0,0.2302672584508419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290505398879149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30039735363730696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418621320032431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754223836335394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181456620444117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913017160059038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.298946128683721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20548778471887516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775496828200392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cking2494,2019/03/25,"Dream inception. Today I went to get an MRI done in fear that I tore a tendon in my shoulder. Not wanting to wake my wife I grabbed my doggo and went to the couch. I didn't expect to fall asleep but ended up doing so (quick brief on my previous weeks, I've had nightmares for a few weeks now) so i fall asleep and get trapped in a seemingly never ending dream vortex where I'd have a dream wake up be in a dream force myself to wake from that dream never to have actually woken up and just ending back at square one. Nothing bad came of this (except sleeping I  till 12) but I felt like sharing seeing others stories and hearing other people's thoughts on my situation. Does anyone feel out of control and when you do what do you do to fix it. How do you cope and what do you tell people to keep the mask of illusion on. How do you hide from people that you fear your going crazy. ",4.0669152854511985,4.652509977900557,5.026201657458564,85.89226749539596,70.76795580110496,7.359300184162063,25.028084714548804,7.1686216300943375,0.9766570902394104,690,18,144,6,12,226,109,181,0.13,0.805,0.065,-0.8851,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,7,0,1,10,5,0,2,8,0,13,9,8,3,2,25,28,14,0,2,5,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,9,8,0,2,4,5,0,7,4,3,0,1,9,6,20,2,28,18,1,33,0,0,2,0,11,13,0,1,14,101,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.1461381132955063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471134373926633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151514337611375,0.12503817354718788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127846023297658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796162827158484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105056559797393,0.15325013787774172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3979122709061216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370293336153743,0.07572002437094177,0.0,0.1437871391643008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648036649759972,0.0,0.08510853954344752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16878342416008207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310806435130726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316214569810613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309987358330564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369281661038982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014770552196034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114613018409921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193343954146499,0.13633024144907438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683295534027375,0.14986195731602206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089142790350666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888779502211234,0.0,0.0,0.14194909869540906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832867530147501,0.0,0.2402469417818541,0.0,0.0,0.27764655864514914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cheese2thecracker,2019/03/25,"Scary mystery mental episode?? Idk idk idk I can’t stop. I feel like reality is wrong. Nothing is familiar, everything is different but it’s not in reality. I can’t the walls and beams are creeping me out they are too imposing nothing feels real but it all feels scary. I can’t think straight, I can’t hold a sentence. What is happening to me",0.7407352941176484,3.281061014705884,2.8531764705882345,86.71829411764709,93.26470588235294,6.8376470588235305,27.388235294117646,7.908726449838941,2.3274011764705893,271,14,54,7,10,91,45,68,0.232,0.685,0.083,-0.7941,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,10,0,0,0,1,13,15,3,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,3,8,1,3,15,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789310928873058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23993909008469905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4049703522124276,0.19072633734293712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360842987921108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043005095910132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690470814253069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5123376635312403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038749530911723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22320228664729289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106621164157798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918942480952376,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alicechildress27,2019/03/25,"The truth hurts I was diagnosed with bipolar type I at 11 and then schizoaffective at 20 (I’m almost 23) I always knew I wouldn’t live a “normal” life (my therapist hates when I say that cause “what is normal”) but by normal I mean work a job, have kids, etc. I got severely sick at 20 and my psychiatrist told me my best option was disability. My hearing is May 6th after waiting over 2 years, so the end is near there.

Today I was seeing my pdoc to get the final paperwork finished and we had a conversation about my future and how severe my illness really is. I asked her if I would ever work and she said it’s unlikely I’ll ever get past past time. She ranked me a 40 on the GAF assessment, which I thought 0 was best and 100 was worst, turns out it’s the opposite. In my head I knew I wasn’t doing great on medication, but I had progressed a lot since starting a schizophrenic medication path vs a bipolar path. Im on 7 different medications because Im somewhat medically resistant. 

I had reached a point where I knew this was my life now but it hit me hard again today seeing all of it out on paper. Luckily I’m married so I have somebody I can spend my life with and who supports me. And I have a very supportive family. It’s hard to think that if I didn’t have what I have I would be dead or on the street, homeless, yelling at people who drove by. This is my life, the only life I will ever have. ",2.4284597701149444,3.992650575862072,4.421810344827588,84.88214080459773,76.0,7.8678160919540225,24.84195402298851,8.59863814320734,1.6407816091954035,1097,37,233,22,24,376,159,290,0.117,0.775,0.108,-0.1927,2,0,0,0,2,2,26.0,1,0,0,6,12,9,1,0,16,0,30,16,1,2,5,45,55,19,1,8,7,0,2,0,0,5,15,4,0,1,14,13,0,1,6,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,19,8,42,6,23,29,7,37,0,1,2,0,13,17,0,8,19,158,56,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400189791981196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811122570893411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776012197195956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722511295884755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19703129898492094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643512052166768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528078976112657,0.0,0.09807902499042988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314507298688223,0.0,0.1046950450604447,0.0,0.25474497550828074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849666172783525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283508626272377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809125612409092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508013011043177,0.10349712874859496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818648811913448,0.09268177811072198,0.09634246975023032,0.0,0.10580354877326828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049475022790748,0.0,0.20280145354908286,0.0,0.0931561011737908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315321937712852,0.0,0.0,0.08289303238294453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980886713800943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022570099149542,0.0,0.3782753193894989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759316651547953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139589852415526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922794370910264,0.06508085969600151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874188354597644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060138502099075515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929628553318694,0.07465288644318901,0.0,0.0,0.1496118779247813,0.0,0.0,0.21210325950894693,0.0,0.0776540773402996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644495769047336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21305567189322985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899569952743636,0.0,0.060151082738528434,0.0,0.07452598311572416,0.05473906106966553,0.0,0.17796437608584986,0.08970124727263021,0.0,0.0,0.1021086581900848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745641439328624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366837208269743,0.0,0.0,0.13337171041008786,0.0,0.0,0.06045219429700215
mentalhealth,KVEMMCG,2019/03/25,"Bad memory? Hi guys, Im 25 yo and I have always been like any other human but lately I have started to notice that I am pretty different from those arround me, in my head, stuff like situations or stories told to me by my friends does not stick to me, sometimes I cant remember stuff that the others can, for example, I happens a lot that friends ask me: do you remember when we were on x place and x thing happened?

And that is like a completely new to me eventhoug I was present. 

This started to affect me, I feel like my brain is not working correctly and I fear I forget important memories. I dont feel I can trust my memory to sustain a conversation I feel insecure about what I say. 

It is weird, I dont misplace stuff or forget my responsabilities or forget work related things, I mean, I believe that my other cognitive capabilities are fine. I am a graduated System Engineer and I am good at it. 

This is really weird and just want to know if this has happend to any of you and how do you deal with it? 

Thanks c:",3.7608455284552846,4.951350873170732,5.799512195121952,77.8247967479675,71.97560975609754,9.369105691056909,29.764227642276424,9.725611199111238,2.8494813008130087,799,33,159,20,15,279,119,205,0.114,0.7120000000000001,0.174,0.9353,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,3,0,2,4,15,0,2,5,0,21,2,2,2,1,32,34,14,0,2,8,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,21,9,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,4,34,10,17,30,1,11,0,0,0,0,14,4,0,5,10,116,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980408745590516,0.0,0.0,0.16313381660869106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213265198357464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014930458250633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513726433684434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389860865426184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576035143459924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365832418563925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531729593144986,0.0,0.0,0.10496492900888496,0.0,0.2811499662720126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497179472454146,0.18194382328029773,0.08568893704648063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853388625007958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006044160257467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876469196696465,0.21213444245495386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309846874634445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295614927463769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591879293147555,0.0,0.13530350825993248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343968343608015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197319377984833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065558078119058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584390567517926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13655850431717467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531729593144986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220274780556702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684002226938261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717492566199787,0.0,0.0,0.09538530652655744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482352817322613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862895590177774,0.0,0.1697957830812898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4119259710977667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042950517325187,0.0,0.0,0.15937263803058282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461286193435567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074683798702745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746431950517144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JongLee23,2019/03/25,"Why is this happening to me? I wish I can talk about what I’m going through to get help. I don’t know why I can’t. But ever since I defriended Richard, Gracie, and Ethan, one of the three best friends that I had, I have no idea what the hell is going on with me. I have never felt this way before. I used to be so social and knowledgable but after my mom came to my friends house without notice I don’t even know what goes on anymore how to listen or how to understand what I read. I just exist. It feels like I don’t have anymore friends but like I do and everything just seems so off. I don’t know whether or not it is from not having a vape or weed or friends but I don’t know what it is I just can’t seem to talk to people like how I used to and live life like I used to. I used to care about a lot of things like shit that I liked. Music, social media, friends, weed, family, and different activities. I also don’t know whether this a part of growing up but it is slowly making me not alive. I also keep getting flashbacks of my past and how I used to live it and is really messing with the present and school also. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Someone please help",2.2846741854636576,3.2945352619047625,3.630250626566415,92.6586090225564,75.34920634920636,6.575104427736008,23.580618212197162,6.8360192770164,0.5311317460317468,914,26,213,8,19,300,113,252,0.046,0.733,0.221,0.9926,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,17,17,2,0,6,0,24,2,1,10,2,58,52,28,0,1,19,1,2,6,5,0,1,1,0,0,17,11,0,1,13,1,0,4,15,3,0,2,3,3,31,14,29,48,3,14,1,0,0,0,13,4,2,7,11,151,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21828540370073934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707022173758333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742273560329131,0.0,0.09548462654231328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406421688578088,0.09276671150827974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506143563071293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009566736758167,0.08230241921039659,0.0,0.0,0.08177272075076178,0.0,0.0857738921568037,0.0,0.04600546401465837,0.06500071129657982,0.08736122461065235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514793831237497,0.0,0.09507329045008256,0.0,0.10341935005527536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045898411947748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197254882495626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498610399843723,0.0,0.10271258485039474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087290403626597,0.0,0.0,0.300022516981416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426639396297681,0.2667081915869873,0.0,0.16068533843754612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735339423429509,0.0,0.0,0.06073413688970863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656218669824798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017433048316299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358863372757857,0.0,0.0,0.061654747882127485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852941821670264,0.08685682609401123,0.06307852219561294,0.0,0.0,0.0998757582590487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101103475269763,0.0,0.05828822571162984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208310702046422,0.0,0.16566122552654616,0.0,0.0,0.0933962449596396,0.07526490067848439,0.0,0.0,0.1854983787852903,0.07709249208077118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626286378683362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044732955189404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472006425949216,0.0,0.3929152357680733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222077920319456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420217056746933,0.0,0.1046298841014934,0.08770765482823778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,srfnzk,2019/03/25,"Desperately afraid to leave comfort zone Hi. I know this sounds obvious. That is why it is called ""comfort"" zone. Everyone is afraid of doing it to a certain extent.

But for me I will just avoid it at as if it would mean certain death.

The only way I will ever do it is if there is some sort of external pressure. For example someone else is expecting me to do it and there will be some negative consequence otherwise.

As for some reason why this might be happening, I have very low confidence which has led to some social anxiety. But I don't think I have generalized anxiety, which is confusing because I don't know what else is making me want to avoid everything.

Is there a mental illness that matches this? Or possibly it's just the low confidence & social anxiety taking over absolutely everything, even if there isn't a social situation involved.",4.859096153846154,6.931592525000003,6.098750000000003,73.25894230769235,70.625,10.423076923076923,32.30769230769231,10.560738912317856,4.046283653846154,684,32,117,22,13,229,88,160,0.188,0.7240000000000001,0.087,-0.9277,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,6,5,0,25,1,0,3,4,33,33,9,1,6,8,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,0,15,1,0,2,5,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,0,1,10,4,14,26,5,7,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,11,1,89,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415613919007382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347703864111698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235634277262897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15470404845812888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531267985514156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006794974579657,0.1370453929586649,0.0,0.14476999191248474,0.27232673732078305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397580777693446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652691431850375,0.0,0.0,0.1604224422249419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113109354389484,0.0,0.0,0.16503389806152385,0.0,0.0,0.1526819032371275,0.16072338666416394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522675510310625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079968009507587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577288078910242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702985228170093,0.0,0.4633223140532071,0.12837011320850014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139132762157912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707860287736474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500789929046568,0.08936186559133244,0.12025800894601772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734202858916925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762515586176268,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,threwthemoon,2019/03/25,"Struggling to feel pain and/or sympathy? Im an 18 year old with pretty severe depression. Within the last two weeks, I have dealt with two deaths, one being someone I am extremely close with (grandpa). While everyone else cried and mourned, I attempted to mourn with them, and simply could not.  I did not feel the sadness and pain that everyone else was feeling, and I felt extremely guilty because it was almost noticeable that I was not sad in any way (About the death).  I found myself having to “act” or attempt to be sad just so everyone around me didn’t think I was crazy.  I am aware of sociopathy, but to me it sounds like it almost always involved being manipulative, which I have never been. Does anyone know what this could possibly be a sign of? I can only describe it as not feeling pain or sympathy  when I know that I should be.  ",7.01352201257862,7.0053333710691845,6.959119496855347,76.63540880503145,64.34591194968553,10.337106918238996,32.76100628930818,9.994966539143718,3.1096213836477995,662,24,122,13,9,211,100,159,0.146,0.742,0.112,-0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,5,11,0,1,5,0,21,3,0,1,1,35,30,11,4,3,8,1,5,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,10,10,0,0,9,0,0,1,6,10,0,3,9,6,17,1,16,13,0,13,0,6,0,0,3,4,0,4,8,88,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26271279697736155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915108649630297,0.0,0.0,0.08920593224698486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172311271877966,0.0,0.0,0.11677674707418398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996524440170777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20947084298767127,0.0,0.1440935097183029,0.0,0.0,0.11298391815581472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479525876521822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21916574111880693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760402622421501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26531132473052915,0.0,0.12595200770145734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383054141035692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169537602954335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418463316293076,0.10692805032262102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408722777280815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117300727927556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934768200866674,0.1376498523906725,0.0,0.08889000027976078,0.09976722071076152,0.418749771541844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478841382465827,0.0,0.1334557747253075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14819445614051405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114718457252316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713633303489176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405393687335835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25628482201727604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412345040887687,0.1052235437655625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447470422741922
mentalhealth,hackziggins,2019/03/25,"How to begin looking for help? I live in a medium-size Midwestern (U.S.) city and I'm feeling overwhelmed about how to begin finding help. The only experience I have with finding mental healthcare was in the army (2010) where there was one place and one process. It seems there are just so many agencies and organizations, with so many different opinions and disciplines/schools (and of course just different people seeking different kinds of help), I'm really not sure how to begin narrowing down my options.

​

In the past I've had bad luck with counselors, always seem to find myself in situations where I just get confused and embarrassed, feel like I've usually come out worse than before.  I don't know. That's just the problem, I mostly need help understanding things, so I guess I want to say, that's the first thing I'm looking for: some kind of help that will assist me in first, untangling my misconceptions and naivetes, whatever they may be - pointing me in the right direction so to speak. But in the past when I've seen providers, it always seems like I'm somehow too far in the deep end of the pool, like I'm supposed to know something, and somehow we can never find our way to those particular problems and their solutions. Man, I know this sounds weird, but almost like even the counselors are hiding things from me, like unwilling or unable to be honest, sometimes even resorting to ridiculing me openly :/

​

And that's part of what frightens me, is the fear that I'll just go into another endless string of providers with whom I can't find understanding.... I really would just like to find a counselor who, even if they can't help me, can at least understand the problems, and have the ability to communicate with me to help me clearly understand - and BELIEVE them (and I am someone who listens with an open mind, but I have to BELIEVE what I hear, like anyone) - what's going on and where I can go next.

​

Has anyone been here before? How did you find solutions? Did you just dive right in to the nearest clinic with a sliding income scale and hope for the best? Does it always start as a grind? How do you avoid taking more damage and aversion to mental healthcare when you run into disappointments?",8.78907286288009,8.091630004819276,7.9262994836488785,73.43305220883535,61.0,10.89271371199082,37.11130235226622,10.07000556051586,3.64278083763626,1792,72,315,31,21,556,212,415,0.113,0.747,0.14,0.8479,4,1,1,0,0,0,70.0,2,4,4,3,31,27,1,5,20,0,26,1,0,5,3,90,62,33,0,8,13,0,2,7,0,3,1,5,0,1,19,30,0,1,19,1,0,6,5,13,0,4,7,10,35,14,51,50,6,49,0,3,3,0,25,28,0,17,21,214,54,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391144897885982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932236668768102,0.20746285846014487,0.23266283172683944,0.0,0.06692600522980782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925575162162577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053291151478005734,0.0,0.0,0.10862063083210012,0.1438176820921436,0.06698032747729889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054979526675009216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20005040558604656,0.0,0.0,0.05585362729186333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056529944688752186,0.0,0.0,0.12646729508222027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243302963487219,0.0,0.0718207918458202,0.06454360575168362,0.04559654351240447,0.0,0.0,0.4083438150114376,0.10857890753387572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03334589220951152,0.0,0.10881953752715487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031035726485074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193533597559269,0.0,0.2994635414917405,0.0,0.0,0.06339255778402314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292768813803765,0.10522953885709282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182714618082304,0.0,0.05635858346567449,0.0,0.1071937347657618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941692478086064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864103747807562,0.0,0.06444498594255882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732537766893245,0.04922572152680047,0.0,0.06787853827572353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649885019648003,0.04854173614365605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911618065949024,0.12185623730407748,0.044248170898735575,0.0,0.06668346852868219,0.0,0.060335189906216086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832155178790524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177577035410154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901228480814702,0.0,0.0507561469355494,0.0,0.06459423769777912,0.0,0.17431146046020712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174189668745437,0.0,0.0,0.054078656979643515,0.049135550145110916,0.06312448883188332,0.0,0.04517561471960632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060154242200627074,0.0,0.047988405057301516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720734452639498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26577601662232464,0.0,0.0,0.07029414446015315,0.0,0.037645597994648186,0.05066125948088643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504305748126347,0.04533939980854936,0.0,0.23266283172683944,0.0
mentalhealth,jenaamira,2019/03/25,"my life. i wake up, no energy and simply want to go back to sleep. some days i let myself, other days i have to get up and continue on with life, even when i don’t want to. However today was different. I woke up, the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, blue skies, and i was happy. all i wanted was to get up and go outside. i decided to get up, i went to the beach with some friends and had the best day in a long time.",0.11491545893719746,1.8203552500000024,2.6336231884057995,94.38770531400968,83.45652173913044,6.262801932367151,18.917874396135264,7.3871296695380915,0.2412207729468596,321,8,78,5,9,111,56,92,0.024,0.805,0.171,0.91,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,5,0,9,4,2,0,1,14,19,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,8,2,11,3,16,10,4,20,0,0,2,0,1,8,0,2,9,55,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621165820430718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212548872627467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079070613042485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202742785425014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925236543184868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628880671251583,0.0,0.3304526224058125,0.0,0.239641054962146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22443429080942456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21558972227944134,0.2978333636726441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865794414283389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098398434842225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293767384403576,0.0,0.1998438226338508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730620401819121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19544312056479007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heywhatsuphello16,2019/03/25,"Never feel awake Okay so I don’t know if this is just being an adult, or part of my mental illness, but no matter how much l sleep l never feel rested. I always feel exhausted. Walking up a flight of stairs is draining for me, and I’m 24 and in decent shape. I’m not sure what’s causing it but it’s annoying and also worrisome. Anyone else? ",-0.4291666666666672,1.8126344166666684,2.2957777777777792,91.42700000000002,93.72222222222223,4.546666666666667,16.92222222222222,6.2581,-0.10185444444444423,266,7,55,3,10,92,57,72,0.254,0.73,0.016,-0.9487,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,2,1,4,3,1,2,3,19,10,10,0,1,6,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,3,4,2,5,9,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120351930902796,0.22062066542995384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853945280151585,0.27167088987474297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723754526601249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221493405137648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4021936213855357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457159554442777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267202325825798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19491100965708347,0.0,0.4089900871533581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28712461569752723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653350234260532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24989464854145496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,allonswin,2019/03/25,"Strange feeling in dining areas Ever since coming to college, I’ve been experiencing this weird feeling in my head when in any kind of dining area (dining halls AND restaurants). I’d like to say it’s like dissociation, but not as intense, I guess? I feel spacey and off and my chest feels “open” and “empty”. It makes me withdraw and become very quiet as I start to stare into space a lot. Sometimes it helps to have a very active conversation going on but it’s also hard to focus on conversation.  I just feel very out of place and low-key wrong. 

I have social anxiety so my first thought is to say it’s something anxiety related, but I’m not sure how. Does anyone else experience this? Know how to fix/deal with it? It makes me very hesitant to go to dining halls, knowing I’m just going to end up feeling Off. ",2.684458333333332,4.871294362500001,4.278749999999999,83.38458333333334,77.25,6.5166666666666675,23.791666666666664,7.554174236665415,1.1854041666666668,638,21,123,9,15,213,96,160,0.135,0.773,0.092,-0.7187,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,2,0,4,6,2,4,2,35,23,16,0,0,7,0,7,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,9,11,4,0,9,0,0,4,2,2,0,1,2,12,10,4,25,21,1,26,0,0,1,0,6,17,0,2,7,71,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767719970312037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156461334002354,0.0,0.2060092541252412,0.0,0.0,0.09414835021493008,0.1379618177351907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870709144748778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598651376536523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881519939539153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783054352263025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248033531761864,0.0,0.11925732366804137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179596820203399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317106546581113,0.0,0.0,0.4084895743775173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453071456716105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295690696273516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832890921293093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061731218504845,0.0,0.13818672213799615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025108144286967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021418573824135,0.1479969980985555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156349770111925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144721095062232,0.0,0.0,0.17975590696761706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067751230641162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141534818957592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138143371377283,0.0,0.0,0.13725571411397888,0.0,0.1036578797224384,0.13316937841443593,0.0,0.09530387719609404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690325404746627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689471992541427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4443916806915755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472154152967768,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Banana_Tattica,2019/03/25,"A possible improvement? I've been struggling with mental health for 8 years or so, mainly depression and anxiety. I never asked for help or expose myself in those years or until 2 months ago when I started to see a therapist and we are working to improve my overall situation. I always dealt with those problems alone and now I can deal with them a lot better than the beginning but they are increasing day by day. My therapist isn't pro-medication but she said that in my case some type of medication would be useful, mainly for anxiety but she doesn't know my depression fully yet. I'm not afraid of meds but I took some Tavor for an operation last week and HATED how that made me feel and the effects lasted for some days but in less intensity. I thought about starting working out many times but my depression always ground me but I might overcome some of it with the help of my therapist; do you think that by working out or by doing some type of movement the situation would improve? Beware that I'm 16 and 1.85 meters tall and 80kg and I don't do any sport at the moment and I didn't for like 6 years. That maybe would help me to drift off my emotions just a little but I think and it would exclude the option of meds. What do you think?",4.005344129554654,5.561680708502023,4.9585425101214575,82.66672064777329,71.8744939271255,8.114979757085022,26.765182186234817,8.6894789155246,1.9257255060728744,993,34,194,18,19,324,136,247,0.168,0.78,0.053,-0.9811,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,2,2,5,7,9,1,2,11,0,18,2,0,4,1,55,36,26,0,5,14,0,1,1,0,5,2,1,0,0,10,17,0,0,7,1,0,4,6,7,0,0,6,3,28,2,32,24,10,36,0,3,1,0,13,11,0,12,22,138,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888203623807023,0.0,0.0,0.10384799769053313,0.0,0.0,0.16686296290824115,0.0,0.0,0.06818606502935673,0.0,0.15341036112138473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373757641441596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867940072123581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19399479527877106,0.10337249148738503,0.2590835137280108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127886439370238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069880103660957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899445286383712,0.0,0.10658079969221294,0.0,0.0,0.20162372396138487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05510498307366682,0.16346453221460502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048986157875342336,0.10049544727309816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524475141781854,0.0,0.0948765440375476,0.0,0.1016565908244686,0.10073325420818632,0.0,0.3341273274771941,0.10101003411404276,0.10104713376776082,0.10636910601407867,0.0,0.0,0.08003341486866045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733330149457002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303774550971853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594347862028832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537837004562356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799010673888955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254121444742105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194121792249625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048224785804052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492586091628351,0.0,0.19274415034704065,0.0,0.07960204339052471,0.05846740871110692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140206911557557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865998497748486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042939765433048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21899013648338345,0.0,0.0,0.2849116572577575,0.0,0.0,0.1937090123055522
mentalhealth,Throwawawy65677,2019/03/25,"My girlfriend just tried to throw herseof out if the window Title. We had an argument and she started crying and I was getting annoyed (I know not good, but this happens more than I'd like and then I cannot talk to her) and since we were outside I tried to get her home. Once home she opened a window and sat by it and I was getting concerned since she has talked about suicide before and I started to tell her not to do anything stupid and she said no and why and at on point I just grabbed her and held her(bad again I guess, Ive heard that physical force is not good in such situations but its the first time something like that has happened and I was just afraid shell really do it) and then we spent like an hour of her crying and struggling until her friend came by and now they are talking in the next room. I dunno, she was definitely not normal at that point, like you could see it that she just had one thought in her mind and I was powerless, I didnt know what to do, she even got this weird smile at one point. 
So i dont know what to do now, I dont think things can go like they have, I think she has way bigger mental problems than I thought before and from lurking this place and living with her I am starting to understand that there is almost nothing I can do. I am afraid to leave her alone but I also have my life and us spending a lot of time just me watching her is not gonna be good I know, so any suggestions? Ive no idea how mental health procedures work and where to turn(I live in Eastern Europe) so maybe somebody can suggest something? This is taking some toll on me aswell, although I am pretty mentally healthy otherwise, I think I have battled my (tiny) demons and have a good grip even on bad days, but her situation is totally different. I know I am unable to completely understand her and I cannot be her doctor.

Sorry for the vent, hope somebody can point me in a right direction",4.04892229858725,4.977749858247428,4.4907331042382586,88.46144520809472,71.0360824742268,7.500725467735777,27.2569683085147,7.662118739084242,1.350019740358916,1507,50,320,17,27,476,191,388,0.156,0.747,0.097,-0.9637,2,1,2,0,0,1,30.0,4,1,2,2,19,20,3,3,10,0,44,3,0,1,1,70,77,36,1,5,15,0,2,5,2,1,3,2,5,0,16,29,0,1,13,0,2,3,12,9,0,3,18,6,63,11,34,55,4,41,1,0,2,0,38,22,0,7,20,227,79,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011196790785995,0.0828595180027209,0.0,0.06397878533065632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05440513643480417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583607948886894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335991934212305,0.0,0.0,0.136154204456091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150271268525983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838821676599428,0.0,0.0,0.06387630006659614,0.0,0.1757602181408517,0.05159565130225853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358664959265144,0.0,0.08188699185212217,0.0,0.0,0.18752705713199794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056831396867242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805095248819631,0.0,0.0,0.061810520409843764,0.0,0.12539561014010048,0.0,0.045467843594070224,0.2684126243648713,0.0639861226956905,0.0,0.08813289598010891,0.0,0.14149369547292276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503999968452326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605001055183048,0.07946154618510763,0.07878735084518093,0.0,0.0,0.09031423501741867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21983920916023428,0.0,0.0,0.08471217514505007,0.0,0.0,0.056508851535070674,0.19542839152526464,0.0,0.14128914621941993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801613099745017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037428815343227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418741907139262,0.0,0.0807807478650731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508465019743038,0.0,0.07838646237582811,0.07676553429632459,0.0,0.0,0.08520113682356148,0.1084249101174238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358664959265144,0.0,0.30251673993998995,0.0,0.0,0.0813923407228139,0.0,0.07655256308043543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05125230295134815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832256819119736,0.07610166729854982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375244664298751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235947548861998,0.17985461499943234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318123526387913,0.0,0.08955738966307293,0.16988070781333953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363704880382777,0.0,0.08751086481366516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060152689812611834,0.19291139455216455,0.0699266020031165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315078318082202,0.1537890739424017,0.0,0.12702771539276064,0.0933013907327756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863427581840716,0.08702085520674006,0.0,0.1665729697457594,0.09623438292014523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350306961507014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219073224863788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05824351475200173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dr1ven_Ind,2019/03/25,"Mental Health YouTubers I wanted to know of other good mental health YouTubers out there that offer good tools and resources for fighting depression, anxiety, addiction anything other than drama like the rewired soul. I have my own mental health channel but know that it is a community thing when it comes to support. If you know of any or any videos that have helped you I would really like to know what they are so I can check them out because hearing others share makes a difference I have found. Dr1ven Industries is my channel but I want to make sure to give support to others, also help others find tools that can make the battle a little easier.",7.786928571428575,8.246618216666667,7.025714285714287,75.22500000000002,62.66666666666666,9.523809523809524,32.14285714285714,9.23628265651192,2.8560357142857136,526,18,87,8,7,162,76,120,0.066,0.7120000000000001,0.223,0.9646,0,0,0,0,2,0,7.0,0,2,2,0,4,11,2,0,5,0,9,4,0,3,1,21,24,8,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,13,4,0,0,6,4,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,12,8,12,22,1,5,1,1,0,0,11,3,0,2,3,61,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616781905093662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722433502731336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823590287356364,0.0,0.10257141411531193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033704074742393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173438657268274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549870209214975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548356179158367,0.0,0.0,0.14008585616955416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254738521633265,0.0,0.0,0.14701263230730902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286224822001935,0.0,0.22492115950401492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42756473273618506,0.15111876078628114,0.0,0.17974301374643142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29474911589284786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310101729406433,0.1343841454202217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684998446046484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053656087019096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589556794763767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30430651417930565,0.12636952916270414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907729887791052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816861187497566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524712467022407,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tanishq_1,2019/03/25,"Morning frustration For the past several months I have been waking with frustration, anger, and sadness. I don't understand why this is happening. ",6.120000000000001,9.900041000000002,5.721666666666668,68.29000000000002,76.5,11.533333333333333,37.16666666666667,10.504223727775694,6.096766666666667,120,7,16,5,3,37,22,24,0.43,0.57,0.0,-0.9153,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,3,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3769073958770783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402069558221229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40687787070029735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4815104208173199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4437129445276242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3845997633654352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ladyhawk16,2019/03/25,"The struggle, and no help I'm struggling with my mental health. I have been for a long time. I keep trying to tell people that I need help. but I guess maybe I don't use the right words or something because no one gets it. No one understands how overwhelmed I am. How suffocated I feel. None of it. Or they don't care. Idk. I don't have any therapy benefits to get professional help at an affordable rate. What else can I do? I need someone to talk to, someone to evaluate everything that I can tell them and tell me if I  have a disorder of some kind that can be treated. Or not. I just need some help.",0.7370391705069108,3.002974201612904,2.614285714285714,92.095,85.20967741935483,6.4460829493087575,22.566820276497694,7.7094869923839395,1.0459142857142854,467,17,104,9,14,155,76,124,0.13699999999999998,0.696,0.16699999999999998,0.5862,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,0,3,7,0,3,5,0,13,1,0,3,0,23,25,9,0,4,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,3,0,2,1,1,17,4,10,23,3,4,0,1,0,0,10,2,0,7,2,70,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862272392595027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884065669586377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786377858453115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621247973889086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211507006089102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303401110027076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332955576564673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154030729179302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15976260402281373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541559669021318,0.0,0.0,0.38883176216146303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890586484613245,0.0,0.15102237017277986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834353839833942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456982143735572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461522024008262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32260505565080705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965468828484733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054284007403967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385150046828705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24576029470535785,0.11164818024898322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032255450382211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165664889618596,0.3802776217295585,0.0,0.16584998915658758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456588755339703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846320490137073,0.0,0.0,0.15097728895917648,0.0,0.12525598995478845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adavis38276,2019/03/25,"Waiting for the miracle to come. Ok so the title is a little dramatic. It's actually the title to Leonard Cohen song (big fan). Anyway, I didn't come on here to show off my superior taste in music. The problem is I'm 31 (M) and I'm yet again in the thralls of a depressive episode. I've been dealing with this for a majority of my life. I am tempted to say things like, ""I hate my life,"" ""my life sucks,"" ""I hate myself,"" but that's just the dramatic child inside me crying out for help. The truth is, relatively, my life is not THAT bad. I mean it kind of sucks: I've had several mental breakdowns - some which have ended me up in the psychiatric ward; various failings - for instance I had to drop out of a university because of a mental breakdown (I didn't even last a semester); my years of mental anguish have given me something like brain damage which has left me incompetent in various aspects. Anyway, I could go on. My point is it's not all that bad. It just sucks right now cause I'm in this depression and I can't get out. I've tried all sorts of things (yoga, meditation, exercise, diet, CBT, medicine, counseling) but nothing really seems to work. When I say I'm waiting for the miracle to come that's literally what it is. That magical moment when you don't feel depressed anymore. I think what I really need right now is just someone to talk to who has gone through what I've gone through. I mean I have friends and family that are supportive but none of them really know what it means to have your life taken from you due to mental illness. If anyone wants to chat maybe we can use a feature on reddit or some app to connect. Let me know. I'm off today and ain't doing shit really except waiting for the miracle to come.",3.1801899256812547,4.814439971098267,4.8830429397192425,82.0630202312139,74.14450867052022,8.295458298926507,27.386044591246904,8.942964678507748,2.210449545829893,1354,52,270,29,28,459,178,346,0.132,0.737,0.131,-0.2852,0,0,1,0,0,1,53.0,1,3,1,2,14,23,6,1,17,1,27,11,2,2,3,47,62,12,0,5,11,0,1,2,1,0,7,3,0,1,23,13,2,3,8,5,0,7,8,15,0,0,9,5,32,8,47,51,8,40,0,5,0,0,14,20,4,6,14,178,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.09218036370073583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367998431219983,0.06604936612230879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577420708962982,0.057582582491958086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544977774586398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970375241819825,0.0,0.3254793395933117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541946620837181,0.0,0.10376103358389463,0.0,0.0973852001365558,0.2440775052767637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08366445737748074,0.0,0.0,0.06239063607384573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904947602061683,0.0,0.047762347744478684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298037692402153,0.0,0.04935200260388447,0.0,0.05368439452403068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18652147134772495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331525414461385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836665292832597,0.10382665113194932,0.07699836753422185,0.0,0.0,0.10263221286029252,0.09659282887069537,0.3336031841527941,0.09229780031360277,0.09467479311648083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489882637362884,0.3086873439486213,0.0,0.0,0.3807781046430361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004167551650538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063793008976917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929622967197436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038647257887136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420566830896859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133845002271358,0.0,0.1502384449627579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599379694175399,0.0,0.10671410510163802,0.09696291571734833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003654553026693,0.07272073523986039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719328602281658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592421804575447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255114554811476,0.060526829999667076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953803528498687,0.0,0.0,0.06413285589189809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158402279728816,0.0,0.0,0.055715577756432814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876877320877484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608298225191849
mentalhealth,sad_babygirl,2019/03/25,"I need help because I am so lost and confused... Hey guys, I would really appreciate some advice or something so here it goes; haven't really been feeling the best over the last year, I haven't really been my happy bubbly self and I've been to the doctors, Ive seen a few different councilors but they don't like to put ""labels"" on people so I don't know what's wrong with me like I know I'm not ok but I don't know how to stop feeling the way I am, Ive lost interest in a lot of things I used to love doing, I've been so upset lately but I honestly don't know why I just have these random mood swings where I'll be happy and ok but then all of a sudden I have one thought and I just can't stop thinking about, I question every situation I've been in like if I've handled it correctly or if I was too rude or too nice, I give up on everything so easy (even my relationship) I don't have the motivation to do anything anymore like even getting out of bed in the morning is a chore, I get these random feelings of dread/sense of danger come over me but I don't know why or what it means and so I start to get really scared and overthink things and it makes me feel like my subconsciousness is trying to tell me something bad is about to happen so I should just cancel whatever plans I made the next day, I switch and change moods so easily like I can go from the most caring person in the world to all of a sudden I couldn't care less what dangerous stuff happens to you or myself and I get so angry I just start throwing stuff all over the house and I just get the urge to break something or hit someone and that scares me so much and I don't know how to stop it, when I start to feel sleepy and tired come bed time I jump into bed but then I cant sleep I just start thinking about all the horrible things that have happened in my life and all the embarrassing moments I've ever had and then I will eventually fall asleep from overthinking if that makes sense and I feel bad for almost everything like I had to go to the hospital recently and when I first got there I was asked if I wanted some food but I said no because I didn't want to be rude and then about 30 minutes later I got really hungry so I finally built up the courage to go ask one of the nurses if I could have some food and as I was asking I started crying and kept saying sorry and I just felt so embarrassed and humiliated... I don't want to sounds needy or anything but I really would appreciate some advice or help or even if you just share your similar stories... Sorry for the super long post...",3.3661126843081703,4.214523432282004,4.7410999902353295,86.3348723269212,72.56215213358071,7.974240796797187,24.38829215896885,8.288913261614885,1.2453755102040818,2026,55,443,31,38,676,231,539,0.21,0.674,0.116,-0.9936,1,0,3,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,1,7,37,38,4,6,22,2,46,8,2,7,7,114,105,66,0,15,32,0,7,7,0,4,3,3,4,3,18,27,2,4,19,0,0,9,16,15,0,3,21,11,65,21,49,75,15,57,0,2,1,1,21,16,0,26,36,300,83,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289537722699396,0.0,0.0,0.06809102522881158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743658673736687,0.0,0.0,0.1119145183051432,0.0,0.19070923496801565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135523978172226,0.08290293486470651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136059721630464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386587176332502,0.0,0.07193376630589192,0.1171499754021993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429154810377598,0.0,0.07469354305098766,0.0438536324380363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104432477243712,0.0,0.06959970368631138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347377960858218,0.06150885226113255,0.05729196335903345,0.0,0.12222596244203927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062935682642738,0.04857839157545455,0.06528955903703793,0.0744894157253644,0.0,0.05783978653536252,0.16444895713980665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17763296122938144,0.06523069243626871,0.1159359393901399,0.0,0.10876978330571337,0.0,0.0,0.06732955163838629,0.1803934737799515,0.14477207917182985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115639075455384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846154247062571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242223357353255,0.05542813792061013,0.07670566390873096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048029598273645134,0.2325456213272501,0.0,0.0,0.060176841891856285,0.0,0.0,0.14845755337474806,0.057810190070978734,0.06137161640713151,0.06434215541558526,0.09077951994598453,0.0,0.0,0.07407068150774536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049986978333513336,0.05042028519622844,0.0,0.0,0.07231754773320738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215556031189184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04714184029830332,0.0593739724304232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651241010766535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683576250232606,0.07617427356013487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613708246919157,0.0,0.06714066030878538,0.07300531636247057,0.0,0.0,0.06468247732898069,0.05407541429156026,0.13615742142550294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093762988903267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643355572996112,0.06804795732398672,0.0,0.0576152044050691,0.1570465091005344,0.0,0.15223828943981085,0.2406496778548442,0.0,0.0,0.17055024857620538,0.0,0.0,0.15568482788882607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05943399151841485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552624207130615,0.08714183400389085,0.0,0.05398349085316968,0.03965067589885859,0.07815467431390835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04616675515930685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05872917326093269,0.0,0.0,0.1203224494404047,0.05397432154256797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227167700207277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660886321773972,0.07434606714591968,0.0,0.04378902956327062
mentalhealth,mer029,2019/03/25,"I lowkey dislike being loved by people that i love !!  I [F19] freak out when someone says that they ”like me” or ”love me”, and I start hating myself and hate the person who confessed to me, and without noticing  I start ignoring them, or being cold toward them. even if I like them back!! 

And I don't know why I do this!! It's just something I do and I hate it, how to make my self stop cuz I think I hurt them this way! ",0.9831818181818156,2.623453681818184,2.5113636363636367,96.64954545454547,80.36363636363637,4.854545454545455,18.954545454545453,5.148860815047168,-0.5339818181818186,316,7,74,1,8,103,56,88,0.22,0.593,0.187,-0.5283,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,5,0,5,11,3,0,1,0,5,3,0,3,0,19,16,11,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,7,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,22,5,6,14,0,8,1,1,0,3,13,2,0,3,7,55,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380224095035309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855633004194174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5316495192684709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19215566330577052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864706864167566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538671128746255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4860101945561862,0.0,0.11981589843851202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204358962746549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444088606652536,0.1567301932164331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427435252055359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872549196847576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520875519857212,0.13818585657285365,0.0,0.0,0.2540983462197042,0.0,0.0,0.15006785138489814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501467664698416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424766694531958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196847110729987,0.0,0.0,0.17302907395002282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnnieBannie27,2019/03/25,"Feeling alone and maybe paranoid? Not sure what's wrong with me So I've been feeling kinda alone lately and like I might have borderline personality disorder or something along those lines.

I feel like my close friends use me to feel better about themselves cause I'm depressed and don't really have my shit together. I'm the most ""behind"" in life and have shared my anxiety issue with them in the past. A decision I on and off regret imensely.

The one I'm closest to insists she gets me and is having similar feelings but I can't help but feel like she's just getting the scoop on what I'm doing/how I'm feeling and relaying it to others in the group/her spouse.

My SIL had a great to heart that she was feeling sad/lonely and we agreed to take up yoga together to have a hobby and get a change of spirit. (I have trouble doing things alone bc of the amount of anxiety I feel getting out/bring out alone) I texted her all the days I was free and she never got back to me and just ignored that we ever had that conversation. I feel like whole conversation was a lie to get more information about me to share with my mom and brother and talk shit about be. My mom is the worst and literally talks shit about my brother and his wife all day so it's not that far fetched that she would do the same about me with them.

I feel anger and resentment toward almost everyone in my life. All the time.

 I feel like I'm failing as an adult and everyone knows it... I've never been one to care what anyone thinks of me or how I live my life but lately that has changed a bit. Maybe because I don't know how to live my life anymore or the things I need to change. I feel like I can't trust anymore and feel really alone...

No one really cares and I'm the poster child of who not to be at 33.

Tldr: I feel alone and anxious all the time and I hate everyone.",3.3528721804511257,4.486300768421053,4.390751879699252,87.75526315789475,72.89473684210526,7.639097744360902,25.150375939849624,8.07648339933343,1.2632218045112786,1452,44,314,21,28,473,171,380,0.179,0.682,0.139,-0.9632,0,8,1,0,0,1,31.0,2,0,2,2,13,29,6,0,20,0,26,8,4,4,8,82,63,32,0,3,11,6,15,6,1,2,4,0,0,3,17,30,0,1,20,1,1,0,10,13,0,3,8,15,46,17,41,51,11,25,1,3,0,0,30,14,3,7,17,203,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566794340318853,0.4075206949011405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033558399383692,0.0740856575733551,0.1300735874160347,0.04585439494445444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05042623973245155,0.0,0.039976378798524885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799933847068155,0.07159533526990203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13372441950023925,0.06736774657357053,0.2081218110028425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458612110151255,0.0,0.05648313769477985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515927017268756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059320003120911076,0.0,0.1879907712327055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4973810542467795,0.2342484239204161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066620958136539,0.0,0.17131172875358686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052449555210062816,0.07230113160962919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474573273694541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777114872817563,0.04395625332996222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844748783299613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720810591573028,0.0,0.14795204446800372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528168318881744,0.192231661099387,0.0,0.11581500117551595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176593568645364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695690062445021,0.0,0.15361077616325194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04862603292449122,0.10115720882098274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331417977291185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260262145876659,0.0,0.057261094954606816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603485162278708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194785022020373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050485954826043115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061807476366231275,0.0,0.04930728246130872,0.10541990891092004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713561064353594,0.042020405803760805,0.0,0.0,0.07647934017955342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056639241557242925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321666480032071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046585473935150216,0.07170039389452616,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thetarowaway,2019/03/25,"I have lost all desire to live (not suicidal) I'm a 30-year-old male and I really can't take it anymore. I've always been sort of depressed but it used to be better. Now it's totally unbearable, I have no drive, I'm perennially crippled by anxiety and my hypochondria, which used to be at least manageable, is now in full force and I feel physically and mentally frail. I'm in physical pain all the time and I feel exhausted. In can't sleep well at all without taking benzodiazepines. I have tried psychological counseling but in my country it's subpar, and psychologists or psychiatrists are expensive. When I was younger I used to be able to speak about my issues and I didn't care if I sounded whiny or pathetic, but now frankly I hate it and I have stopped speaking to people for years now. My issues engulf me in shame and self-hate.

My primary issue is that I feel lonely. I have had quite a few partners but ever since I fell in love (the real deal) with a girl ten years younger than me who really didn't want anything serious I've been feeling like shit. I've always been a wreck (as I said, I'm a hypochondriac: MS, ALS, strokes, heart issues, early onset Alzheimer's, schizophrenia, Parkinson's disease, cancer, you name it). I check for strokes and stuff all the time. I can't drive or work or play in a band any more because I have panic attacks. All this has been compounded by doubts about my sexuality after one of my exes kept saying I reminded her of a very close gay friend of hers. Since then, considering I'm not exactly a macho type, that I prefer the company of women, that I have some tastes that may appear as feminine all illogically combine to my fear I'm at least a bisexual. I approach the issue as if it were a disease; I know it isn't! I didn't use to care, once upon a time, I've always been attracted to girls and I didn't give a fuck if people were homosexuals, but I realise that my obsession is very much in the mould of my other medical obsessions and I approach the issue as a hypochondriac. I'm not a homophobe but I avoid homosexuals in fear of actually being attracted by them. Lately I've actually started being attracted to males, but it's not sexual attraction, it's some sort of a morbid attraction as I ""hear voices"" (I don't actually hear them, I just imagine the comments) of my female friends saying kinky stuff about them, which then leads me to picture myself with them in intimate settings. This makes me feel like shit because I start feeling nauseous and I start checking my dick for erections (I actually feel it move but it's not a real erection, it's like a retraction or increased sensibility). I am starting to lose sex drive in general as it's like I'm convincing myself I'm actually gay or something, and again, I know this is a stupid obsession and I should stop testing myself and even if I actually were there'd be nothing wrong, but I loathe the fact that I could actually change my behaviour and alignment just because I'm a neurotic dickhead.

This is also because I've always, always had a hard time with women, and most of my relationships have been compromises, people I didn't like that much which made it easier for me to approach them, but left me dissatisfied obviously. I'm not even that bad looking, and everybody considers me some sort of a weird genius (common epithets: autistic, Dustin Hoffman, Asperger's, Rain Man, etc.). This makes stuff worse because, for starters, I don't think I'm really that smart, I'm just very curious and have decent memory and I'm a very pensive person. I'm basically a failure professionally too as my anxiety blocks me from actually doing what I should to have a stable professional life and I'm stuck in a dead end job in the family business which I don't really like that much. I studied medicine for a couple of years then dropped out as it made my hypochondria worse and I couldn't stand the thought of learning all that stuff basically by heart. I started studying engineering a few years later, but struggled with maths as I had completely forgotten how to approach calculus and this made it extra hard, also because I really fear exams and won't do tests unless I feel 100% confident of passing them with top marks. Yeah, I'm also a perfectionist, in all aspects of life really, which is a big contribution to my anxiety and depression.

All of this magically disappeared during my brief relationship with the aforementioned girl, which ended really badly. I went on sloppy rebound after sloppy rebound, every time getting more and more depressed, while I chased the inebriation of really feeling a connection with the perfect girl. I used to be quite good at sex too, and with that girl I had the best sex of my life too (not the best, actually, the most enjoyable) and since then I've regressed to my adolescent self (I last only half a minute, and now I'm actually starting to have difficulty having an erection). I used to love the smell of sex and now it makes me nauseous. I keep on having occasional sex with a fuckfriend of mine who I suspect is in love with me, and who I really don't like apart from sexually and as a friend, and it's getting more and more unenjoyable and a chore. I'd like to refrain from sex altogether but the fact is that I actually have fun having sex and I get sucked into it (no pun intended) as I can't ever say no. And I fear that stopping altogether will make me lose that sliver of attraction I have for women. I never used to be that attracted to curves, bodies, that kind of stuff, I always favoured personalities and faces. Three or four years back I started actually being attracted to physical features (""look at that arse!"", and even this, I know it sounds stupid, I like arse more than boobs, and it feels like yet another reason I actually must be gay). Now it has stopped and I have very little attraction for women in general, except for once in a blue moon. In general I've always felt attracted to people who felt attracted by me and that I found attractive (ie. a good looking girl who ignored me, I wouldn't feel attracted to her, a woman who I found ugly that was hitting on me, I would actually avoid her, a woman that I found interesting and good-looking that started staring at me and maybe flirting with me, I'd feel attracted to). Due to my self-doubt I've always found it hard taking the first step, but lately I've started to be more adventurous as I really stopped giving a fuck about looking silly. I've actually stopped caring about everything really.

I could go on my rant and vent for ten more pages but I actually have to go to work, and I suppose all of this is just to vent, because I already know the answer: seek professional treatment. Which I can't really afford. Oh well.",6.625608692123523,6.837164925212027,7.623869151483183,70.79926840279187,65.12952968388589,11.051450716227732,34.567716998742036,10.79915402952218,3.8416999228989983,5376,227,972,137,76,1820,459,1297,0.17,0.675,0.155,-0.9605,2,4,1,0,0,1,154.0,0,1,6,14,34,89,9,13,61,1,85,34,9,18,20,206,185,95,2,15,39,0,19,10,4,8,9,11,1,19,75,61,1,13,30,2,3,19,30,37,2,7,35,38,136,52,139,127,38,117,0,7,6,17,58,38,7,22,67,656,211,15,0.03229055203115347,0.0,0.5041747330284218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03563342712182002,0.07746822837917493,0.21494660825688144,0.0,0.0,0.021958682671395145,0.03385945926976163,0.07410655176211456,0.0,0.03202355088474028,0.0,0.0,0.026572372988297302,0.0,0.0,0.03673516455088347,0.0,0.024829441335131628,0.05392252433750748,0.1377881456568608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777388437589882,0.028558369207677937,0.0,0.035867523922735886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876710954472456,0.0,0.03415912247455618,0.0,0.03385602945120302,0.0,0.0,0.0515627565814871,0.03572888164635587,0.0,0.0,0.03329014127073757,0.08343541544586927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057199689511968174,0.0,0.036012501136680475,0.06398281523138294,0.0584173059623409,0.027206182766336157,0.0,0.029020666058786282,0.0,0.030440658669434805,0.14534339337154908,0.1959248799537793,0.06920513046904023,0.06200798756934465,0.0,0.0,0.027466327062062992,0.0,0.14161969446339087,0.07484280119727472,0.059704190059555975,0.05061144207867397,0.061952079710529476,0.03670292971073617,0.08125134908660131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677797632735793,0.031880234997128575,0.0,0.0,0.07278759788989705,0.07652891925972638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20221768183037456,0.03204339037700408,0.028701326306534568,0.0,0.033625640936423666,0.0709841717017273,0.026321109667958968,0.0728502983371766,0.0,0.035083779262728355,0.0,0.0684233155340343,0.1577553266363719,0.032363616167611305,0.028513149033845987,0.0,0.13557965561413818,0.07224973623906604,0.035248951976435114,0.0,0.08743045174631607,0.09166230325428752,0.08621677688416295,0.0,0.03244019966047616,0.0,0.0,0.032529334033018456,0.032541281628511214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03431974659049983,0.07121181342430044,0.0,0.02490446437581457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030983655554895958,0.0,0.03388350250118398,0.06877676812713025,0.02188091374236456,0.02455841988769419,0.034359424014342416,0.037886005420458585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895448120749275,0.05638972905789937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06868995361549206,0.0,0.07350743502590805,0.24823385373596416,0.03320006547187218,0.0,0.06933593695941627,0.0,0.0,0.0307157094436383,0.07703622906909334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105826422864754,0.0,0.06629157526455551,0.08013323496458316,0.0,0.032313871881654035,0.0,0.0,0.02485884452722012,0.0,0.0,0.20569877033588665,0.0,0.0,0.16197808423951296,0.0,0.03375709601346308,0.18482478314391484,0.035320622953411575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283542955593149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02069048190621807,0.0,0.025635091423072985,0.09414440281553177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02192316522164976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195220685318088,0.0,0.13321543582941206,0.01904580420732921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058066168430816925,0.02993366523807673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03112693986699557,0.0,0.0470158129145966,0.0,0.06581366235756513,0.02293828170173341,0.03530464959028616,0.0,0.12476434092437105
mentalhealth,Hannamayo,2019/03/25,"To every teenager who thinks mental illnesses are cute... I assure you, if you were actually mentally ill you'd give anything to get rid of the illness and live a happy normal life. Depression/bipolar disorder/anxiety etc is not something you'd want to have. They are not cute, they are not aesthetic, do not use them to be relatable. It's disgusting and disrespectful. People who are suffering from these illnesses are going through much every single goddamn day and you faking an illness for attention is annoying. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. ",6.909183673469387,8.72514379591837,7.449591836734697,66.58826530612247,65.12244897959185,11.314285714285715,36.448979591836725,11.20814326018867,4.939473469387756,444,22,66,14,7,146,72,98,0.282,0.642,0.076,-0.9698,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,5,3,0,0,9,2,0,3,0,13,6,0,1,1,15,21,4,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,0,10,5,10,17,3,3,0,1,0,0,12,0,0,1,1,49,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.21285747117747747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686419393812088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949739237423695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18789443425084548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406718768569996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432658178385218,0.0,0.0,0.3675576031666386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396074011935445,0.20924432991171615,0.12396484458639613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321969579414774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540673681567417,0.0,0.0,0.19260740853695585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43963519550217695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034617133531956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21371511947763014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121965466886686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679224423064409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17531973628151012,0.0,0.20081919023925668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976499391936514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883890243424783,0.0,0.0,0.1286551333744817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,htx15,2019/03/25,"An ask and/or cry for help So I’m writing this post from the bathroom at my office. I came in here because I’m not doing well. Something is going on with my body/my psyche and it’s driving me a little crazy. I could really use some help.

Short background about me: have experienced depression and anxiety for the majority of my life (I’m 31) and have been on Celexa for the past few years. I get on and then get off because I’ve told myself that I don’t want to stay on forever. The past ten years have been the toughest because that’s when I was, at one point, an intense hypochondriac. It was only really bad for a few months but that’s what really started my intense anxiety. The residual effect of that is my body seemingly playing tricks on me, getting me to think “is this real pain or is this in your head?” Is this psychological? Or physical?

I’m not in any actual physical pain so I don’t know for certain if anything is actually wrong. My mind does it best to convince me otherwise. I get blood work done every three months for this other prescription I take so I imagine something would come up there, if any.

These past few weeks have been tough for me. I don’t know if there was something that triggered it for me but I’ve been feeling super out of it. Foggy head, depersonalization and derealization. I feel like I’ve been forgetful and generally lethargic. I could probably use more sleep but my anxieties get the best of me.

With all that being said: is there any one out there that has found themselves in a similar situation? Am I going crazy? What’s wrong with me. Any knowledge or words of encouragement would be very much appreciated.

<3",2.9988105462898247,5.3522546315789485,4.401721761709776,82.06245081394191,76.9876160990712,7.759073204833717,25.89923099970039,8.654491914285503,2.040707460301608,1318,50,254,29,31,436,163,323,0.129,0.7390000000000001,0.132,0.7399,0,0,3,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,5,11,17,1,0,12,0,32,8,5,4,2,51,60,20,0,8,11,0,2,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,21,13,0,0,10,1,0,5,5,8,1,4,13,4,31,9,36,41,10,36,0,1,0,0,8,18,0,8,12,173,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.18514950111910106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580463557891002,0.0,0.2177148546258286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780659764170542,0.0,0.08868615597566823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920847933178185,0.1734868359189998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19911034899710325,0.0,0.0,0.10537385117706972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850051622213784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817179697103363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148428561730085,0.0,0.10420496748108958,0.0,0.0,0.08170725760188269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301717565210624,0.09708003591479863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799280223550316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593339082363217,0.06777171770990105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401479511294033,0.0,0.0,0.2478157574590055,0.0,0.10782815845980367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471812726240315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717228754013662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427086576896373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700609613361762,0.04634634480813387,0.0950798522068025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578680879460642,0.0,0.1514409948669379,0.0,0.0697368372011215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285662290640971,0.07214925925649135,0.2018865222152745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716787023620321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896782769769585,0.0,0.09085463826900544,0.0,0.10228073037769568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797736603610704,0.18231922851038526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023852894569072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636171503289443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663245929929588,0.09493371033772167,0.0,0.0,0.21909559655871,0.0,0.0,0.06714607670459713,0.10111368079691413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713268241485685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060785789558940186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064776379155748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386614799271712,0.0,0.07827372494301918,0.05595395272932553,0.0,0.07609514111892499,0.0,0.0852952074951157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906299531163396,0.0,0.0,0.13477903228017352,0.20744040764002886,0.0,0.12218015681902368
mentalhealth,its4thr04w4y,2019/03/25,"I don’t know what to do anymore My family has been pretty much shaming me for being depressed. I gained weight because of my depression and I’m also pretty sure I have PCOS (I’ll be making an appointment to get tested for that soon). I also have been vegan for the past 3 years and now all of sudden, according to my family, is the reason why I’m unhealthy and it makes them sad because they can’t cook for me when I go visit. 
I got texts from my family telling me that everything that’s wrong with me is my fault and “why haven’t I changed” 
I went to the doctor last year and finally told him about my depression and was put on antidepressants, and it turns out I’m allergic to them. I told my family about this and they somehow found a way to blame it on me. 
I love my family but I hate how they make me feel like shit every time I visit (I visit once a month and live about 4 hours away). I can’t remember a time where they didn’t have something negative to say about me. 

All my accomplishments are nothing, they seem to forget that I’m the only one in my family to graduate from college, get married and live on my own.  But no, I had some cookies with my sister and ate some vegan junk food - I have a problem. 
 
I’d like to address this with them but I’m not sure where to start. ",4.097278314310799,4.349892432835824,5.572414398595259,83.18979367866551,70.56716417910448,9.290956979806847,26.2124670763828,9.325443323948027,1.9122394205443367,1004,28,217,20,17,341,139,268,0.154,0.774,0.07200000000000001,-0.9694,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,8,2,13,15,2,1,9,0,20,8,1,5,4,38,44,18,0,1,4,1,2,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,10,15,4,0,6,1,0,6,8,10,0,1,11,3,44,5,32,31,6,29,0,4,0,1,18,8,1,4,16,148,54,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717335132236268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745767237301156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232812561721132,0.0,0.0,0.11980925274690375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039568840650093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25392004191216605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058375501025643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279691581064857,0.0,0.08831895547696718,0.0,0.5558426203456629,0.0,0.049688386184337366,0.07020427930325839,0.0,0.1076502448335966,0.0,0.0,0.118828764639523,0.10774824623802086,0.0,0.0,0.10268428920082602,0.0,0.05584924219916982,0.0,0.07859568832253726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970215173422662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967763916597386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400675407823878,0.08010336179603389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601975117475887,0.0,0.17354884515243227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869272859407923,0.0,0.19678844543683244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784383682520163,0.0,0.07223993373681514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429294592768517,0.0,0.0,0.10465459872225542,0.06659045807882731,0.07473894597223593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381006387262952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999523263416268,0.0,0.09403134827806192,0.0,0.09878873392064312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103817391037877,0.0,0.0,0.11132102561765517,0.0,0.0,0.07814843936253944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946153599397356,0.0,0.0,0.10087298948322553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565323202992759,0.0,0.0,0.06955618187612896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852370769981629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589252145545627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460433477064527,0.0,0.0,0.1878028517641828,0.0,0.0,0.1068898024328989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800234264431513,0.0,0.119666678524461,0.0,0.0910974972824144,0.1773472138192809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744308104363393,0.0,0.1265656256693272
mentalhealth,NoxSyndrome,2019/03/25,"[M/19] I'm beginning to have concerns over just how much I seem to have anxiety. For the past few months, it seems like I'm constantly on edge and thinking about unlikely ""what if"" scenarios in my head, and these scenarios begin to affect what I say and do in real life. So many people lately have told me to ""just stop worrying"" or that ""there's no need to think like that"", but I can't just stop the way my mind runs lately.  I take a small event and my mind runs with it, almost like predicting what will happen, always coming to a worst-case scenario, and that's the one I always wind up believing will happen. It's gotten so bad that even my boyfriend has called me out on the fact that I'm a mess lately. It isn't so bad that it's ruining my life, not at all... but I always feel so afraid that something will go wrong. Is it normal for doubt and worry and anxiety to take this much hold over me? Is there something I can do? Sorry if this doesn't fit here, but I dunno where else to check for help with this.",5.828277511961723,4.810978334928231,6.217129186602873,84.32990430622009,67.08612440191388,9.705263157894738,27.13397129186603,8.841846274778883,1.6528047846889953,788,17,174,11,11,255,114,209,0.202,0.752,0.046,-0.987,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,0,14,10,0,2,7,0,15,3,1,2,2,41,34,18,0,4,10,0,1,3,0,3,2,1,0,0,20,11,0,3,5,0,1,4,5,7,0,1,2,2,16,3,23,29,4,28,0,1,0,0,4,12,0,8,14,114,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783086940403065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29373599382055715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800365365725903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965013408559191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325753271702156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201556149626753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136345726852902,0.0,0.1271609365968462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829932198481016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777208234664559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949817522293601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687534560101778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20811278998837185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076476350387147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887263217324658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982152583049112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662295229861003,0.1724648479947822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193002897459648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23762905844472404,0.0,0.09392415686727912,0.0,0.1730039780169461,0.08725182239959738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529294876232801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973715886547622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112330627870702,0.08157850478809711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393576917005626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357698842022412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21424717335497906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18117832359453573,0.0,0.13172345357553114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675705179723152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694843661219378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507981121981322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244002713409357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340204838276432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23900195587978906,0.0,0.0,0.12865515975323275,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ehhhmhmhhhhm,2019/03/25,"I (F/24) am really worried about my memory I would like some ideas/help about my memory problems! 

I'm a healthy (as far as I know) 24 year old female who has a master's degree in psychology. I never really had issues studying for my tests in school. Also cannot recall any memory issues earlier in life (but maybe it's because I just can't remember, who knows). 

Since I broke up with my cheating, asshole boyfriend of 8 years, over a year ago I started noticing that I really have a bad memory. At first I thought it was some kind of grief-related problem, but fast forward a year to me being super happy (happier than ever before) with my new boyfriend and the memory problems only seem to get worse. 

I can't remember if I did something today, yesterday or the day before. If I've been with my boyfriend all morning, then go to work or something, I miss him a few hours later because I can't remember we were together that morning. I can't recall simple things that were said to me. Information I've heard before does sound familiar but I really can't recall it exactly. I can't recall my dreams, which before I could perfectly, even little details. It hasn't always been like this and I'm starting to get worried.

However, it doesn't really affect my functioning at work or in daily life. I don't forget appointments or tasks or anything. People don't seem to notice me having problems with remembering stuff. It just really freaking annoys me that I can't seem to remember things or names or stories my boyfriend told me or how the movie we watched ended. 

Any ideas if this could be something I should worry about?  Would really like to hear some advice.",4.650697916666669,6.216160840625005,5.908750000000001,76.44791666666669,70.28125,9.083333333333334,28.645833333333336,9.516144504307137,2.793895833333333,1319,49,231,30,24,442,166,320,0.136,0.7759999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9084,1,0,3,0,0,0,39.0,2,0,0,6,9,17,2,0,9,0,30,2,0,2,5,58,48,21,0,12,16,0,0,3,0,3,2,4,0,0,18,8,0,0,13,1,0,2,13,10,0,1,11,5,37,7,29,30,5,32,0,2,1,0,11,11,0,17,24,153,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609320150236859,0.06902663816524783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062272233382596076,0.06479368526727627,0.0,0.0,0.10590789855639013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407998660395847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501780324099905,0.09493708298103973,0.0,0.2650449317564254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243449635627212,0.0,0.0,0.05021940355409885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814414867836445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689692888793138,0.0,0.0,0.0514320888179144,0.07043744616174785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623578070999063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136722883416729,0.0,0.04425504724824182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289356050002078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776461740494694,0.0,0.052194303177808224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668579942665274,0.0,0.0,0.08790521876445306,0.0,0.16255111212035647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108913049295627,0.08559011221434841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000310095878756,0.11412935407026548,0.0780457240830366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823040721988046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060057780473117585,0.07520687534732322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773099474148537,0.08171097053798325,0.0,0.0,0.05922328495505099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053984926005125784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980424870239954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491964950570576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410549771528769,0.0,0.07407175304013165,0.0,0.0,0.07880811955939539,0.0,0.212668481061634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441447821670293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984330097229578,0.0,0.0,0.11023290537615013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914197940212265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346610857327312,0.0,0.0,0.061819707095983674,0.0,0.0,0.07381120746883164,0.07440767099881981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133798875647432,0.23724085658529964,0.07935570157937287,0.11063255696525504,0.0,0.0,0.20058169183475946
mentalhealth,NonsensicalWizard,2019/03/25,"[venting] My anxiety and depression are really getting to me Going to keep this short... I have been doing better mentally, but ran into some things from the past that I just can’t seem to get over or stop dwelling on, so now I am anxious, depressed, and can not seem to stop myself from thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking about. I really hope it passes. I would like to see a therapist but the few I have tried in my area that are also in my health insurance network, were just not what I was looking for. 

I keep trying to tell myself the past is the past, and I’ve got to move on, get over it, and be happy, but I can not stop my brain from thinking negative, self destructive thoughts. 

I have been struggling with negative thinking, and self-destructive thoughts/behavior for many years now.  I’m starting to feel like a burden to those around me.  ",6.9134065202927495,6.4057454371257485,6.767624750499003,79.5915302727878,64.68862275449102,10.296473719228214,33.525615435795075,9.725611199111238,2.9748541583499666,676,25,132,12,9,214,95,167,0.222,0.679,0.099,-0.9768,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,9,11,1,2,6,0,19,2,1,0,0,34,40,11,0,3,9,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,9,8,0,5,8,0,0,4,7,6,0,0,7,3,19,5,25,29,2,24,0,2,2,0,2,10,0,5,12,100,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028541055816906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095933599154201,0.14167065150394118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163601034322213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109095111938944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999216598381087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21602029807950845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340795264012597,0.0895885328350305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965550014758788,0.0,0.07126989577029491,0.0,0.1002969117247052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334947262337365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332984244410552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455431502138965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22292940105406245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253196979307343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530764710442833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271398172098791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637758174478375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328444250336638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591364830285771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067383014427986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993062938968088,0.2283259036175699,0.2616471224528548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876148784280326,0.0,0.0,0.3145296920928165,0.0,0.13109932821976328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960848904175788,0.0,0.0,0.14560353102474005,0.1666254864086299,0.3214148844280382,0.0,0.09955664619601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028195979078894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908329438093855,0.0,0.0,0.08075596547386273
mentalhealth,imissu_dude,2019/03/25,"I HATE MYSELF (RANT) I fucking hate everything. I am actively cutting off all of my close connections with people. I fucking hate them. I hate myself. I want to indulge in the shit that makes me happy but today I am sick, snot-filled tissues everywhere. I want to fucking die. I am going to stop talking to people. I hate my tone of voice. I hate my sociology. I hate who I am and there's way too much to change. Too much to handle. I just want to die. I just want to die. I have no connections with anyone and everyone is much better off without me, or my inability to connect with others. THERES NO USE IN ME PUTTING IN THE EFFORT IF I CAN JUST WAKE UP AND WIND UP AT SQUARE ONE W/O ANY CLUE ON HOW TO GET BACK TO WHERE I WAS AGAIN. 

​

It feels like everyday I'm starting anew, like my emotional history is just reset. WITHOUT MY HISTORY, I AM NOTHING. WHERE IS MY CHARACTER? WHAT DO I BELIEVE IN? I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT. And NO AMOUNT OF TALKING TO MYSELF IS GOING TO HELP ME FEEL OKAY. 

​

I AM NOT OKAy. I am hurt. I AM UPSET. I haven't eaten yet today and I am starving but I refuse to cater to my needs when I've never done so before. It's always everybody first and when I got my heart broken for the last time... I decided I was done. I am done talking to people. I am done touching people's hearts and making them feel heard. I am done listening. I am done caring. I am done being there. I NEVER WANT TO BE THERE. 

I never should have been there in the first place. BUT IT FUCKING HAPPENED. and this is how I am dealing with the outfall... me wanting to give up and die. because fuck people. ",-0.3654464285714312,1.898266872023811,2.096871428571429,91.99812857142858,96.05357142857143,4.7118095238095234,19.815238095238094,6.4601748715692375,0.36650066666666703,1263,44,263,17,50,429,154,336,0.251,0.645,0.104,-0.9966,0,0,0,0,0,2,58.0,0,0,2,4,21,23,14,1,5,2,40,11,4,5,4,51,78,19,4,9,12,0,4,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,9,14,1,2,6,0,0,3,12,16,0,3,13,8,58,7,41,62,5,37,0,1,1,5,12,16,6,2,19,202,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293265725268773,0.137853342350366,0.15459802893059585,0.08652056865592574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444809872584938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048915898459678565,0.0,0.07755805296883364,0.0,0.05413155800350202,0.07167215970356343,0.0,0.0562621715680813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485958660173084,0.0,0.06729608386608735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558412443229951,0.0,0.0,0.264088713043488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4557005985037517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155815200041682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060786722189121276,0.057172931722601884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649674960651884,0.0454464666793577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822153003718173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29405455192807184,0.0332361372695003,0.061025167654464016,0.07230757867929986,0.0,0.05087861261365574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562544081118879,0.06771919838025572,0.0,0.4396455086762731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076782410085865,0.04263969782328654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810102032363663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034961061833206915,0.05185459916257593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06215801181398015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492682228857162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029271893701226,0.047169610537124235,0.14719109876342729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06104017116520885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043107073589773774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22051266055121516,0.0,0.06646398601964867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639505020061087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206323220826626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529973672393838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04502692333500137,0.0,0.0,0.0531848690861901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15339363753698315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037094334798066585,0.0,0.1205988926309124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05494281159069496,0.0,0.0,0.2251301458089038,0.05049451260063258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264490443771027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459802893059585,0.0
mentalhealth,vaibh123540,2019/03/25,"i am fed up with my grandma hi ,i don't know that if it should be here,if not then please tell the appropriate subreddit. so,the basic fu*kin problem is that my father is suffering from cancer and is in the hospital and my mother too scince 1week and for 1week more.my grandma and aunt is here to look after me and i am fed up of them as they fuc*kin make useless mistakes of my mother who is in the hospital just for my father and i feel really bad hearing those taunts as my mother is working so hard. they just make useless mistakes like : 1 time my mother got the oppirtunity to come home and meet me and she saw the made using mobile and not doing household work so she scolded her and my aunt made useless talk that she was so scared by the scold and started crying in front of my grandma .(i don't know why as my mother was scolding the made.yes they are fucki* stupid).they say that my mother just needs money from my father and not him.like what the fuc*.how can they say that when my mother is working so hard for my father.they are just bitc*es.
if you think this is rude to them then you only think that if someone says something for your mother then how you feel?
BTW i am only 13.
most importantly they think she does not look after my father's needs but she is the only one who cares the most for him . 
the day i get to fu*k their asses up i will make them a bitc*.they don't deserve to live.
i am only following relations otherwiswe they would have been fuc*ed up.
i cannot tell all in one post so for more info ask in comments and i will answer on 29th.",4.011274078150798,5.230167221518991,4.443577325261423,87.67522564667038,71.40506329113923,6.888057237204182,26.080902586681344,7.079830092131019,1.0680686846450191,1246,39,254,11,23,393,154,316,0.097,0.879,0.024,-0.9357,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,4,10,3,13,12,1,1,12,0,30,4,1,7,1,53,58,30,0,10,12,14,4,1,0,4,1,4,1,0,12,15,2,0,9,0,1,3,8,10,0,2,9,11,49,2,33,44,4,23,0,4,3,1,48,10,1,5,10,179,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116625113927876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972940678832744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177947732863174,0.0,0.0,0.10288904309122804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120185716172658,0.07703046052093812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452484065938812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078732275566825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240371912876785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955289907927286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139938416643982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462025467634645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981045620789545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128482804077254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835351863228975,0.0,0.10546981892072432,0.0,0.20060305103422002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390578330934432,0.2391861690313607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771300379164865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187450972095552,0.3633652804128519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311118766725083,0.0,0.0,0.11439279298094505,0.0,0.0,0.1142902364697154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765178537232297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849561484986485,0.11958266958352322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012031496957835,0.09195258747997698,0.0,0.0,0.08454193862078227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960032689256194,0.20879582751690676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296015824952528,0.0,0.0,0.06964781831405131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315987549482424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777817917016767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608664480706936,0.0,0.0,0.08484844709935782,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CraftyChiron,2019/03/25,"Caged Bird I feel like a caged bird. Trapped in isolation. The cage has sharp bars and is too small for me. The desire to escape mixed with the patience of waiting for my time to leave, creates in me a tear. One that rips at the centre of my very soul. Caged and trapped by my persecutors prod me with brands of burden, which scorch my flesh. A burning scent lingers in the air. A reminder of pain. Hope is not present now. She may come and go but never abandons. Faith in hope. Terrifying and illogical but a comfort in the darkness.",1.455288461538462,4.0767270288461575,2.0530769230769264,94.59192307692308,86.40384615384615,4.7384615384615385,23.384615384615394,6.297961479604792,0.4667346153846154,417,16,87,4,13,128,70,104,0.182,0.669,0.149,-0.613,0,3,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,11,0,4,3,1,0,1,18,10,6,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,2,1,1,0,2,2,3,0,1,0,3,9,5,17,9,0,14,2,1,0,0,1,8,0,3,5,54,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678347444035269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721325004823986,0.2221252039785244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767060988112847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6176382569290936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292251580115031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190246967374366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398048753883272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21069113208739085,0.0,0.33084660122928594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18130313059542488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565460594277805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MediocreMD,2019/03/25,"I don't know how to address my mental health and I'm terrified. Hello, r/ mentalhealth

I'm just here seeking advice on how to approach health services regarding my mental health, here in the UK.

I'm terrified of going to my local surgery because it's always so busy, getting an appointment is a nightmare and I don't know what to say. I tried a few years ago and it wasn't much help, more detrimental to my confidence in the system.

I can't remember what I initially said to the receptionist or how long it took before I could speak to a doctor, but when I did he asked me all of the appropriate questions, I believe, and I left being told that they would be in touch. They never were, I had to call them back after a couple of weeks to find out and they said to wait longer and somebody would be in touch, but they still weren't. After a couple of weeks I rang back again and the lady on the other end of the call found some paperwork that said no further action was needed, but no details were given.

I can't remember how I ended up on to the next step but I was referred to what I believe was a first level therapist, there was an office I had to go to, I read the sign on the outside, knocked on the door, this very kind and empathetic gentleman let me in and showed me where to wait until I went through to speak with this lady. I can't remember exactly what she asked me or what we spoke about but it felt like a step in the right direction.

*This is where I fuck things up for myself.* I failed to keep in touch or let them know when I wouldn't be able to make my 2nd appointment. My new working hours made it difficult to ring the office during opening hours and when I tried I found I couldn't get to speak to anybody. This whole period of my life is a bit hazy, I was 22, fresh out of a really bad break up with a long term relationship, I was transitioning from having worked night shifts for nearly 3 years to a daytime job in a completely new industry and I was going on a trip to France, where I grew up, for the first time and was anxious about meeting up with old friends I hadn't seen for years. I am not trying to provide an excuse, just provide some context for what my life was like at the time.

I ended up giving up, I felt I had let the kind people who actually tried to help me down and felt that because of this I didn't deserve any help. My life was getting a complete overhaul at the time so I figured the chances are things are on the way up anyways, I said to myself.

What I'm wondering is if there is another avenue I can take to address my mental health? I'm not trying to avoid or dodge going to see a GP, I just struggle to trust them. Our system is so overloaded, after my experience last time, I feel guilty, a young professional white poster child for privilege, generally in good health, walking in and requesting help because I'm unhappy with my life.

I know how toxic that sounds and I resent myself for it, I know it's wrong but I'm just trying to put into words how I feel.

I know there's something not quite right with me, I have all my shit together with my job and my flat and I'm so proud, I don't know a single other person whose 25, male, single, working full time and completely independent. Yet, more and more I'm struggling to cope with this unextinguishable feeling of intense misery and impending doom. I have no ""close"" friends, I don't really have a relationship with any of my family and before I go another month of just snacking enough to keep the hunger at bay because I don't have the motivation to take care of myself properly, I'm determined to do something about myself.

I want to actually ***BE*** and feel like the happy, cheery, never get's down, got all my shit together person that I feel I'm pretending to be around everybody in my life.

Thank you for your help.",4.2089081988820825,5.073847385510998,5.317518123459202,82.91592618809347,70.6170763260026,8.576523713051332,27.262784056237642,8.841846274778883,1.9245535356000882,3011,98,617,53,53,997,305,773,0.114,0.773,0.113,-0.077,3,1,2,0,0,0,76.0,2,2,7,9,36,26,4,3,43,0,58,16,2,10,6,114,124,47,0,8,19,0,11,3,2,3,11,12,3,4,31,37,2,5,26,3,1,15,22,12,0,2,37,26,94,14,110,73,17,111,1,2,3,1,48,48,3,9,47,426,125,11,0.05419895783654564,0.0,0.10578072910961538,0.0,0.0,0.052962594322707064,0.04804410594411005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04509787470799341,0.0,0.0,0.07371429978061711,0.11366466597161427,0.0,0.06122939523529612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824856332086957,0.10133741851133113,0.0,0.0,0.08335130614858745,0.045253865901534365,0.1321567265624767,0.0,0.09223864235406223,0.12212733107021465,0.0,0.0,0.059171224550498926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068639151575564,0.0,0.05525944968554517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047972833987987,0.0,0.0,0.0432734576231439,0.11994023193096814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05547492995219076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144012568620614,0.05600201173982304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053016980728763125,0.051093953864573785,0.0,0.1370231078931406,0.03871974630789204,0.15611849716400952,0.0,0.049536865565692687,0.09220321169643056,0.0,0.1188527195453402,0.08374796075637443,0.05010606316951513,0.11326687396042165,0.0519925790193646,0.15401258376991184,0.04545951438115697,0.04334785775090995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057695798442528624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880547886135953,0.0,0.0,0.18164209486419036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675011184067126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756820523276624,0.09634904803361688,0.0,0.11287974845284475,0.20850430861235905,0.044179384475324567,0.0,0.0,0.058887326273417175,0.16626631943882586,0.1914116338678004,0.07943661931148888,0.0,0.0,0.09592874428720742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05128436438091583,0.03617822521769914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385940530492388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04326109105691117,0.0,0.039842470221877084,0.04018784048329748,0.08360315508661871,0.10469138242723806,0.057641206532937,0.050862050391503336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568726890034081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0375747330786422,0.09464887886322536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448492247833128,0.0607152367911389,0.05764726314075561,0.05421362484426564,0.0,0.06944248046744712,0.0,0.0,0.11637879464541782,0.18419056132023726,0.09257122770867114,0.20622248135605764,0.04310118665850005,0.0,0.0,0.04318955223300043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126890271852348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345001132815369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04328335773991332,0.0,0.0,0.11332103717228105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150174229911022,0.0,0.0,0.04989911851625633,0.0,0.06292916743253979,0.07201475856348158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158019240854815,0.0,0.0,0.05178942685813109,0.060217036394687215,0.22078520794790651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471981638919933,0.03196794957857106,0.04302060997681908,0.08695026949147461,0.0,0.0,0.05024297691060065,0.0,0.060511200868133275,0.0,0.0,0.058776457800981965,0.1183724604344328,0.0,0.0,0.07700276920602682,0.059258052099321314,0.0,0.10470705559230477
mentalhealth,phntomthreads,2019/03/25,"How do I stop the feeling of having the intense weight of everyone’s eyes on me? Even if no one is staring, I feel like I have to micromanage every single aspect of how I present myself. It just feels so suffocating thinking people are cringing at your every move, every breath you take and you feel like you can’t do anything because you’re just passively acting like your normal self but even then just doing that feels like people are looking. Sometimes I present myself with an Indifferent look in my face, acting like I don’t really care, I’m above it and that I’m confident as hell with how I go about but inside I feel the total opposite. How do I stop this, what’s wrong with me?",6.0831617647058795,6.194342757352942,6.657647058823527,77.60941176470591,66.27941176470588,9.15294117647059,30.235294117647058,8.841846274778883,2.3457088235294123,549,18,103,8,8,180,84,136,0.136,0.7040000000000001,0.159,0.3505,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,5,0,0,11,8,1,0,4,0,11,4,3,4,1,26,25,12,0,2,6,0,7,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,5,1,2,7,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,0,11,19,6,12,25,2,12,1,0,4,0,6,3,1,1,10,72,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947482224761086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850338237403536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802570652312674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19178654662715128,0.0,0.3669736818170759,0.138730417054949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404591606604234,0.3111604170637193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251193834077189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546501025105105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438375415251825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430859807999991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225040026197938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838106220831816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20130589222421574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300918026153594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145953983468982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359160262896808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427621955460691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916099468366047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302863726365343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679612490788765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873692335160566,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,embaisu,2019/03/25,"Autism individuals seeking help For anyone with experience treating mental health: How does being autistic affect the counseling or treatment process? And do have a hard time understanding autistic clients? Also if you how have you approached their concerns compared to other clients, does anything change?

I ask this because as someone with autism, I’ve had a hard time in therapy and counseling. So far I haven’t connected with anyone I’ve worked with. I have trouble expressing and explaining myself, so in my experience the people I’d talked to would be confused and think I am hiding something when I’m just naturally anxious and literally have no idea how to say something. Additionally when I told a therapist I had autism, they said that makes sense and the first question she asked was “so you think black and white right?” Which I personally felt weird about which is why I feel people in this field don’t understand autism as much as maybe they should.

For anyone else reading this thread: If you have autism, or have similar experiences how has therapy, counseling or any other psychiatric treatment helped you? Just curious.
Thank you :)",7.333232830820773,9.595434618090456,6.542793969849246,71.78340368509214,64.62814070351759,9.728777219430489,35.37721943048577,10.047579312681364,3.967458023450586,935,44,145,22,15,286,119,199,0.085,0.862,0.053,-0.5204,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,6,3,2,13,5,0,1,6,0,19,1,0,6,0,37,33,25,0,4,7,0,4,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,8,12,0,0,9,1,0,1,3,3,0,1,6,8,20,2,16,23,1,11,0,0,2,0,22,5,0,7,5,96,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795085441150088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329369760025541,0.0,0.0,0.13837268335054592,0.0,0.2569321463711423,0.1254999011915619,0.10079435243588808,0.0,0.22901304952211746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466544789067535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295724183578722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143741190453472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232012885949512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35944019331196275,0.0,0.0,0.06193187127634886,0.0,0.11760438097977305,0.0,0.0,0.10418529994412604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944420579135585,0.0,0.0,0.1301953543694664,0.0,0.0,0.16419763075682695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382701537667111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817593915960749,0.0,0.12305219857890196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343562280358547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004024120651909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983073643931926,0.10694878900972313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372107335499318,0.0,0.12251770109818852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046011407582808,0.11651086052208835,0.09740463433634236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378076600635974,0.18858918904450675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09844844570712448,0.0,0.11276732196010734,0.2801435266417245,0.1422140088954645,0.0,0.15696631431766928,0.0,0.0,0.14284345807480664,0.0,0.0,0.11703924129917588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550214828889569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052325966804084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917021485173138,0.0,0.0,0.08700951364548609,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,autophobe2e,2019/03/25,"Curating your internet experience for mental health reasons Hi all,

​

I've been feeling depressed recently, and I think that part of the issue is that I've inadvertently curated my internet experience to focus on negative things.

​

As one example: I've always been fairly active politically and as a result I tend to follow a lot of political commentators and activist groups. It's got to the point that all my news feeds are basically just full of stories about climate change and the rise of the far right. I like to stay informed, but the sheer weight of negative news is really starting to get to me, and I'm having periods of real dread and despair. 

​

My job involves being active on the internet and social media, so simply unplugging completely is not an option for me (although I try to do this whenever practical) and I think that trying to completely remove these kinds of groups from my feed completely would only leave me feeling more powerless and uninformed.

​

I'm wondering if anyone has had similar experiences? I want to curate my online experience in order to promote a calm and positive outlook (although not in a schmaltzy, feel-good way, as this tends to annoy me!) or at least try and have a healthy balance of positive and negative things.

​

Any advice or tips (even just recommendations of groups to follow etc.) would be much appreciated. ",9.816243796526052,9.747724439516134,9.930645161290323,57.842890818858564,58.63709677419354,13.275930521091812,42.060794044665016,12.502718667466526,5.8377260545905685,1143,57,166,35,13,380,149,248,0.115,0.755,0.13,0.2975,2,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,0,1,5,7,1,1,12,0,15,4,0,2,2,38,30,22,0,4,8,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,12,3,0,7,0,0,4,5,4,0,1,4,3,16,3,33,22,9,19,0,2,0,0,9,9,0,6,4,123,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498659441804506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385140462037821,0.4157230147480361,0.4662198069727163,0.052183851368563336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365635626032663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117766428743316,0.0,0.24137213082177555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609354157924001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855821378198983,0.0506841229980548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002543876120206,0.0,0.0,0.11640173237976445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04009196135161984,0.0,0.0,0.06436342877334468,0.06137365945959675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156793631494197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009358310671108,0.07614971926146942,0.0,0.0,0.07990986868646825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125349638952545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03748986512982182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523912820049617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733293609898044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05641058927243706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051999036901577526,0.05836201344334925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309878849129915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254135192018286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734360620077668,0.049159743634036135,0.07889850716170829,0.075768616916375,0.0,0.0,0.06553305399537887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822379763907224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05431490595586788,0.08179152577294256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196142318122783,0.09834005515681817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629833709633115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045261522779994685,0.060910328755658036,0.0,0.09344510027422602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832180987131504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902365145362708,0.0,0.4662198069727163,0.0
mentalhealth,ale_des,2019/03/25,"Mental Health in Film Hello everyone. I am enrolled in a abnormal psychology class and we have a paper regarding psychopathology in the Media, basically how movies portray mental illness (Be it well or poor). There are the obvious movies I could go for like ""A Beautiful Mind"" on how well a mental illness could be portrayed, or I could use ""Split"" on how poorly one can be shown, but I wanted something more. I wanted a movie that is more than just ""this movie is about mental health"". I want to find a movie that appears to be something else on the outside, but if you look into it, has some underlying ideas about mental health. If anyone has any recommendations of movies like this, please, let me know.

​

The following is irrelevant to my question but I feel like some people should read it when posting on this sub

Things get better. 

I've dealt with mental health issues for a majority of my life. I have been at the end of my rope a few times and I know what it feels like. Doing something that could harm you, or others, is not the answer to your problems.  You will grow from your hardship I promise you. :) hang in there.",3.89994343334973,6.163253593457947,4.462444663059522,83.12999754058045,73.81308411214954,6.935169699950813,24.81455976389573,7.85451343220497,1.4200224299065418,895,29,165,13,19,284,123,214,0.066,0.7909999999999999,0.14400000000000002,0.9412,0,0,3,0,0,0,35.0,1,6,0,1,11,10,0,0,14,0,24,7,0,4,1,41,37,14,0,11,10,0,2,4,0,2,7,0,0,0,13,5,0,0,8,2,2,5,1,2,2,1,1,3,21,8,25,25,6,20,0,0,1,0,9,11,0,9,7,123,34,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440047865656568,0.11708173298181147,0.06552462658728504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737357661014336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521806641491145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30772614381046165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049214321181422,0.0,0.08534182929522316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207122271114224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743985094070598,0.13767189953264153,0.0,0.0,0.08806662013087574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050341451001052806,0.0,0.05476070217746263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4096829519755827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877293786633922,0.0,0.10056946713339927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590825082650307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852939911428144,0.06805830549012505,0.1882965207829874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091383658931192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5826183726833929,0.0,0.0972909671064515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529256439525473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680034569743902,0.0,0.0,0.10576872993011108,0.0,0.0,0.09228134577750008,0.0,0.0,0.09219861283053817,0.0,0.0,0.1079395241015111,0.0,0.09638096093799528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22253609600534147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401390473339871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618530885558568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321968449959499,0.0,0.0,0.17049782458473398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326922842871714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708173298181147,0.0
mentalhealth,leilashigh404,2019/03/25,"How did you get rid of your derealisation/depersonalisation, or what helped? I've had chronic derealisation for just less than a year I'd say, although it's really hard to tell, with my brain and my memories so foggy all the time. I don't really even remember what it's like to not have it. I'm convinced that if it doesn't go away in another year I will kill myself;I can barely manage living like this. What helped relieve/manage your derealisation, and if it went away, how?",5.666451612903228,6.441985268817207,7.457150537634412,69.20572580645164,67.27956989247312,10.070967741935485,28.403225806451612,10.125756701596842,2.660793548387097,382,12,74,9,6,134,67,93,0.071,0.84,0.08900000000000001,0.1697,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,3,0,0,5,4,1,0,2,0,7,2,1,2,1,12,11,9,1,2,5,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,10,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,3,2,7,3,9,7,2,8,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,3,5,49,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365731285249588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.423938502281168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518568345855605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901414156802045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787259700279652,0.0,0.12822010591667735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20210341796727696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30244500900274673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24960548591757376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204445786715365,0.0,0.19921891892288449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28906476284934435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555736323967717,0.0,0.0,0.17941516800807716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971942279752686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315557683880348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20914394341538672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905725716180424
mentalhealth,Iamrobot0101,2019/03/25,"Help me diagnose my mental illness-see the future before it happens and fixations I've lived with what I can only imagine is a mental disorder due to chemical imbalances, however I've never gone to the doctor to be diagnosed or treated due to lack of insurance and I am still in school so i dont have money. To start, I am 26-will be 27 on Thanksgiving day, and this started when I was 18. So i have a problem, I'll have constant deja vu, and will ""see the future"". The only way I can explain it is imagine having memories that don't exist. You can tell me what your breakfast was and what it tasted like smelled etc. I could tell you of a possibility and even ""remember it"" as clearly as any other memory I have. I base my judgements on these fragments due to fear of them coming true. In addition,  I fixate on people and have these futuristic memory fragments about the people I fixate on which convinces me to pursue people due to a fake long marriage or  happy life ""that will happen if I date them"" or avoid relationships based on fake terrible ones that ""will happen if I date them"". I can only describe my fixations as something a psychopath would do. I am afraid to get surgery done if that's even a possibility because I fear itll change me and make me angry all the time or forget people. Therapy doesn't help, I was on anxiety medicine and it helped a tad but I've been off for a year because of money and even still it didnt take it away it just reduced it. ",4.981299567411681,5.652444941780825,6.3256020187454975,77.08399783705843,68.76027397260273,9.161067051189617,31.121845710165825,9.276330184999452,2.7543945205479443,1161,46,218,22,19,394,152,292,0.08900000000000001,0.871,0.041,-0.8388,1,1,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,3,3,0,10,13,0,4,14,0,33,6,0,1,4,37,45,24,0,7,9,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,0,22,13,2,1,4,0,2,2,5,8,0,1,7,3,32,5,29,30,3,32,0,0,1,0,14,10,0,7,20,161,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479360012141628,0.0,0.08413825610302388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333456746400517,0.0,0.0,0.13409172154231488,0.0,0.09358916997792728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163495909610553,0.09474237495908196,0.0,0.11885475752164315,0.0,0.08781410648867136,0.0,0.0,0.07093125326741119,0.0,0.0,0.22326500496676585,0.0,0.0,0.12605238681212808,0.112574350972774,0.0,0.11255288397745908,0.1289016501216235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266239508518732,0.2179322488817801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24752749986870395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05746264499026155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917782282813972,0.11708112239386698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22116196584252287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768568782286464,0.05373313597192465,0.0,0.0971188071230654,0.09733330116029383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341586959621728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22167810719645686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848272447686128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452871090803181,0.2509457417161173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049991189136291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479832186427041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524083140879252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180827743765747,0.12459161230611453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131073434542314,0.08764383867856941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846718587300041,0.0,0.0,0.15569595766336222,0.0,0.1756683932613316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269506379169646,0.0,0.1922635490249312,0.0,0.1257774808413609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641331624781574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730100697318678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781302182260119,0.0,0.0,0.07082676105964979
mentalhealth,throwaway163901763,2019/03/25,"How can I help someone else who is struggling with mental health but is pushing me away? I have a friend who is struggling with several different issues. We don’t live in the same country so I can’t help him physically, but I really feel like he needs help. I know I’m probably the only person that knows about all these issues as he hides it from everyone else. But he keeps pushing me away and tells me to leave him alone, he says it’s a burden when people help him and he doesn’t trust anyone. 

How can I help someone who is struggling but says they “don’t need help”? I don’t know whether I will help if I keep pushing it or if I will just make things worse? 

Thanks, any advice would be appreciated :)

",2.7754662004662016,4.495630223776228,3.7456118881118883,89.43328962703964,75.43356643356644,6.724708624708625,23.105477855477854,7.492282038375204,0.8175365967365962,554,16,118,7,12,178,85,143,0.132,0.5920000000000001,0.276,0.9822,1,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,1,0,9,8,0,3,4,0,16,1,0,3,1,28,27,15,0,5,9,0,1,1,1,3,1,2,0,1,9,5,0,2,4,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,0,3,18,4,9,23,2,7,0,0,0,0,25,3,0,3,2,73,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257132535152978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193116293386026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833940661122725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054995942455137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164668817764273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203586455031829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924682997675584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007777272187716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058248177063725426,0.08229833177348066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900261645407159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245136305260118,0.0,0.0,0.540509170065578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24047607102172006,0.0,0.2047886847727984,0.0,0.0,0.18993140343796897,0.0,0.0,0.12197931975709908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628051037211202,0.0,0.10172300448782176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689636079395072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160936988477566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083749480455687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761418296815758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986462061544497,0.10058749833655316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242042221607697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379955761123562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832220558081992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014230628718987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952158173026507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612936500136013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068917874745367,0.10605994621452533,0.0,0.0,0.0765332299147387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739782693612152,0.08183420672752029,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Takhyon,2019/03/25,"I wrote this last week. So my mental health (I suffer from anxiety) took a nosedive last week and after a year of trying to self-care and sort myself out. I dove back into a hole again due to being stuck in a dead end job I feel I can't escape from, overthinking about things like my future (also the past to an extent) and just feeling a worthless trash human in tandem with the other crap going on in my life. Today, I thought enough is enough and after having a meltdown last night, A lightbulb oddly came on in my head and I wrote this document.

[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FbMlg11z0BFoM900YKm\_s1r6lwr5YlJo/view?usp=sharing](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FbMlg11z0BFoM900YKm_s1r6lwr5YlJo/view?usp=sharing) .  


I hope this can be a blueprint to help others in a similar position to myself. I'm looking for some feedback on this and anything else I can add to it. I hope to be able to follow this little ""blueprint"" to be able to improve my mental health and well-being to see if I can get into a better position than I am in now. ",10.722489137181872,10.43555758659218,8.844878957169463,67.07347610180014,56.93296089385476,9.51980136561142,30.503414028553692,8.167268648758528,2.135897082557418,844,19,134,7,9,253,106,179,0.095,0.799,0.106,0.2124,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,1,0,13,0,11,5,2,0,0,24,27,10,1,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,9,13,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,3,0,0,6,4,19,4,32,17,4,34,0,2,2,0,4,13,1,5,18,101,28,2,0.2817881862893317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267295538415545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778359561157776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594383370330462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833886075490194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460937574942413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16114530794280887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769893568721428,0.0,0.12479034694374233,0.2911625231671498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424805737755359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736113484788451,0.0,0.08007336003976427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459798751328348,0.29952766501591194,0.0,0.0,0.0944383407148501,0.0,0.0,0.27987925065468866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398156471308623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445424723910398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995176647214344,0.068833737074944,0.14121289553731906,0.0,0.0,0.11831555315740905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839762144909037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221956198864607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449935440552865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227435061656547,0.0,0.14698326700982794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936037749234375,0.0,0.0,0.11185417193393983,0.0,0.0,0.1335511259872466,0.0,0.15653852164972798,0.09565784071405613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22603348583992666,0.0,0.12668071043741042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090731176590868
mentalhealth,raabinnit1988,2019/03/25,"UK users... how easy/hard wasyour experience regarding finding the help you needed with your mental illness? However if anyone from elsewhere worldwide wants to add their bit to help others related to the same base question feel free. A bit long as I had background information. This is the first time that I've actually sought help after going through mental illness related stuff since I was a child. 

First starting off with bullying and sexual/mental/physical abuse from family members and close friends.

My teens was were it really hit me when I started to experience flashbacks which would terrify me ( important to note I was still recieveing mental abuse from one loved one at this point)

I developed what I can now relate to depression after being diagnosed with it now which made me sleep for most of the day but after developing severe paranoia and delusions with visual hallucinations I developed severe insomnia from fear of the people I was seeing coming for me. This eventually took its toll to the point I attempted suicide.

After this point I moved to self medicate with drugs varying from ecstasy and marijuana to cocaine and LSD. My issues seemed to disappear. Or I was mostly too out of it to realise. 

Eventually I removed most of the drugs from my life after finding a girlfriend and a job my life had become somewhat stable apart from the marijuana use.

Years pass I'm off drugs completely after the birth off my children and i married the love of my life. Recently because conflicted with the death of relative (also an abuser from my past) 

Depression hits me hard again I'm out of work. I have developed severe paranoia and anxiety delusions are back aswell as visual and now auditory hallucinations mainly voices. I also have confused speech and intrusive thoughts falling asleep alot and thoughts of suicide.

I have now reached the point where I have sought medical help for this starting with my GP several appointments and they insist it's just depression even referred me to the community mental health team who again pointed this as just depression even though the dr wanted to talk more about my signs of ADHD instead and it will subside.

It's now 7 months since it began I am only now at a point where I see it as moving forward after having a brain scan another GP has referred me to the psychosis team and I am awaiting a date to go to them.

Is it the same in terms of time frame fro everyone else or have others been seen quicker or slower when they require help.

",9.087883480825957,8.970442803097345,8.724026548672569,66.05987463126846,60.1283185840708,11.86961651917404,39.18731563421829,11.291866151862983,4.710946607669617,2025,92,318,49,24,650,239,452,0.16899999999999998,0.759,0.07200000000000001,-0.9944,3,0,4,0,4,2,28.0,0,2,4,7,25,10,0,2,25,0,25,19,3,3,0,61,51,29,3,5,7,0,2,0,2,2,14,2,0,3,24,26,0,2,10,2,1,11,0,6,0,4,15,8,42,5,65,31,12,65,0,4,4,2,24,19,0,12,37,236,66,5,0.0,0.23751892669486446,0.065208494754716,0.0,0.0803068884959978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687483224613553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700685449721751,0.05111853887473596,0.0,0.0,0.046723397168637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051381884541149725,0.0,0.040733984740829114,0.07379949281779304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459043256067178,0.0,0.0,0.07459529343310944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575611143104805,0.07006144732793909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04309457071637105,0.0,0.2302142753418385,0.06782277981722727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324764240706791,0.0,0.055821088406848685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827041469206717,0.0,0.0,0.06385114941169777,0.0,0.13072919950022074,0.06299370122743668,0.07519316842692317,0.033787139444144965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214793622979175,0.11367727745654453,0.0,0.0,0.05162640214023441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759528042240175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971852018160575,0.0,0.0,0.07102851088468456,0.0,0.0,0.22394641613621696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974465943974474,0.06631038380749309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159476450716402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913524203635169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061867244279552,0.0632284582244936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463198490254602,0.3367035836387126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05333656995963091,0.14204212112493192,0.0,0.04954756140209395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056044140423444,0.05082103451909538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637890250162277,0.046325863046935166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790095302564557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485577445252149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428077936447536,0.0,0.06597852384768974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649673958385072,0.06083211035073965,0.06970977175092963,0.3019587202049118,0.0,0.11055146378540692,0.0,0.06687011647545194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418905661898034,0.0,0.05336402253807261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649504102540311,0.14618453520706692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053708878718092684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565213673102012,0.10609818319500026,0.07792872615009243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742415435200583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057712631075278874,0.0,0.0,0.07882652690938165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864710885314996,0.0,0.0,0.047468331085774126,0.0,0.0,0.04303108605158292
mentalhealth,Nathan_Panda_,2019/03/25,"Chronic Procrastination and lack of focus, am I lazy or is there something else? Hi all, I've (18M) recently noticed after a bit of reflection that the last couple years (of which I can remember) my ability to focus on school work has been pretty poor. I've noticed that in the past few months it's been particularly worse. It just feels like there's no motivation to do work.  I've been scraping by in terms of marks. I've tried speaking with a counseller and trying to implement ways to focus better and such but it really hasnt worked.

Recently I tried taking some ADD/ADHD quizzes online and I score pretty high. Now the question is how can I make some preliminary gauges on if I'm not just lazy and may have ADD/ADHD before I go and see a psychologist?

​

TL:DR; I've been struggling to focus and get work done. Am I lazy or is there another underlying issue?",4.262361673414303,5.813125555555558,5.6183625730994144,78.21016194331986,71.22222222222223,8.536392262708052,27.188933873144396,9.057496981413335,2.223796761133604,694,24,131,14,13,233,106,171,0.119,0.8,0.08,-0.7605,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,6,8,3,0,1,6,0,17,2,0,3,1,27,24,12,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,8,0,0,5,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,5,3,8,2,17,18,7,17,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,7,10,80,14,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157968156411949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235484412905025,0.15964631641022334,0.0,0.13776790380770074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179837021964978,0.0,0.0,0.11619874465691303,0.14343763741130933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537423916299105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445176397193154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975473147230053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643185438953805,0.09386097674604356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864287887088537,0.0,0.0746687306723357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388147361714963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713108409217373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709574763013756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418773699850967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770004660850406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048697021259557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991638136726134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542118957818388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673301519412888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147180495018431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416815276258824,0.0,0.25945231003247543,0.0,0.14883281048594846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329679351863647,0.10469628405048252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101146060080621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735140657025746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878464954120314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676039649676754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428674920867932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38259736751576295,0.0,0.1338918355528328,0.0,0.0,0.15964631641022334,0.08460718752258314
mentalhealth,Thot_patrol_nanoda,2019/03/25,"Demotivation and alienation from society Alienation from society is not absolutely bad, but first need to find waifu of culture, and social relations are necessary for having help in searching. But after looking at girls always feel deeply demotivated for doing something, human world looks empty and meaningless, just want to go to bed and wait for other day. Human females not good creatures, no good vibrations in them. Is it even possible for someone to be different? Really different, not ""I'm not like other girls"" ",8.720344827586207,10.746935000000004,8.782241379310348,57.92439655172416,61.06896551724138,11.777011494252875,38.63793103448275,11.538034831475384,5.541813793103449,423,21,54,13,6,138,64,87,0.151,0.736,0.114,-0.5818,2,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,16,14,6,0,2,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,0,3,1,3,15,13,0,8,0,0,2,0,8,4,0,0,4,39,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860730059019054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18671662271232786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421892095449898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4672787766486174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477014824312895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307096721867765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438820096179106,0.1902143822214712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709062054184592,0.3751302491531153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989039199094795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925134594982153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755755238211468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581429452834112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521023565778853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432592019194641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22795641296071345,0.18947581187516416,0.1721566099391528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189917505249849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HanChan89,2019/03/25,"Audio hallucinations I've recently started having audio hallucinations. I have gone to my psychiatrist and had my medications upped. I'm just curious to know what having this symptom could mean.
I'm officially diagnosed as Bipolar type 2, with depression and anxiety. What's been happening is that when I have a fan running at night while I lay in bed and I can hear music. It is as though a radio is playing and it isn't any music I recognize. So it's not like I've had a song pop into my head. I also sometimes have an internal voice reply to me when I question things. It is generally very fast to reply to... but it isn't always correct with the answer.
So these sounds are internal and what appear to me as external. What does this m mean? Am I starting to develop another mental health condition?",3.5534562211981573,5.804890967741938,5.856889400921659,72.79104838709677,74.80645161290323,9.33179723502304,29.135944700460833,9.784248007369934,3.3282073732718884,640,28,112,19,14,225,97,155,0.041,0.925,0.034,-0.2609,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,18,6,1,0,1,20,29,16,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,5,6,1,0,14,8,0,0,5,3,0,3,3,1,0,0,4,6,13,2,16,24,0,15,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,9,81,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525867468779444,0.15876510470443828,0.0,0.0,0.12975399171981014,0.2000757542459065,0.14596535757054693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234232377792695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164340128639335,0.19366313132910706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166974804030469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872829473371256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195821050797184,0.20281686873703747,0.21505118306148646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486147740572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321772008116198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156853189426676,0.0,0.1922160359951614,0.19228663441082405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790576342715805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21374534806163226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883969893780466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18871109475396106,0.0,0.27010562359165224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983195274214837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676241128464386,0.0,0.1874650141447982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574341668507951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,A_UV,2019/03/25,"I've journalled the past year of my mental health... https://imgur.com/cXzcqrj

Well, one year and one week ago I kept a journal and logged my mental health. I started it when I was at the lowest of lows, watched it progressively get better, then get low again. At one point I thought the dark days were never going to end. But looking back, my last month was all green and good.

I am looking forward to continuing it. It's astounding to look back through it and see what days we're my best - dates, job interviews, clean house, or generally just good days! Or, to look back and see bad days, such as terribly destructive days, over-thought days, being let go from a job, financially worries and the like.

I'm not trying to brag about being better than I was last year. I still have a lot of emotional baggage to deal with, but it's something that I would recommend doing. The sense of accomplishment when you complete a year was unlike anything I ever felt.

The app is called Daylio. It's free with a paid version available. On apple and android. I recommend.

Have a wonderful day reader.

",4.3797058823529404,6.463550892156864,4.5341176470588245,83.92852941176474,71.94117647058823,7.545098039215688,27.68627450980393,8.313332769828598,1.91311568627451,858,32,161,14,17,267,124,204,0.066,0.7659999999999999,0.168,0.9654,3,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,5,12,13,1,0,12,0,14,2,0,0,3,25,31,15,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,9,9,0,1,3,0,2,3,2,5,1,3,9,9,15,9,20,18,4,40,0,2,8,0,4,7,0,4,33,101,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895316302304868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257851818381726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314861160902184,0.08378706257215454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530988229368728,0.17750073069913766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246735198265317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521381529979676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4530167536772707,0.10345521408562768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287890169848905,0.08887925821591129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077124133372133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635059185892364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485622020142607,0.0,0.11406107952241284,0.16833563719136818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21333217940134253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157890506033327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19916141445733498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359534274873014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261345436413052,0.0,0.04902535846148539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33707089875393786,0.0,0.0,0.08531296750918256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022559910526773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009746065036606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739518654288667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039968467417072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579429132825082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948620585550938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993001452223107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725341450399653,0.0,0.0,0.07102740234106962,0.0,0.08013868718261492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933148794474278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813025312794392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049376031651773,0.0,0.09022562922288832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882400098713997,0.0,0.10190908491993628,0.0,0.07128491359978806,0.0,0.0,0.2584853674968513
mentalhealth,Dafydd11111,2019/03/25,"Very confused, Can some one tell me what this? For the past year or so I've been suffering from a lot of stress, this is related to school work. I have no control over the stress, and I constantly feel like I have work to do when I don't. For example at the moment, I'm completely up to date on my work, I'm doing very well. But for some reason, I can't stop stressing about,'work' even though I don't have any... 
What is this? ",3.2876666666666665,3.7208326555555584,4.288888888888891,91.03000000000004,72.44444444444444,8.222222222222221,25.0,8.344100000000001,1.1710000000000007,329,9,78,5,6,107,60,90,0.155,0.747,0.098,-0.7372,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,4,5,7,0,4,4,0,12,0,0,2,0,11,15,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,5,1,1,1,1,8,2,12,14,3,11,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,5,8,54,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129209332472976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17410217629575775,0.17944302879441432,0.18624123825662145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967566248299188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396079059714323,0.11862745494966898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112453271942828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117132115469105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252101216937173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585152534335528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170728929100964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805330913771765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388267586573845,0.5706354038566545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451366116224443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631450722083375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740202873171161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493005301689627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4835508168814285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069319292660834
mentalhealth,Owlet_Gary,2019/03/25,"Getting fatter by the day, knowing what I must do but incapable of taking the first step I used to be a top level athlete in high school and have been getting fatter and fatter every year since, I’m 6’3(190cm) and weighed 95 kg(210lbs) when I was perfectly fit at 18; now I weigh 140kg(308lbs) at 26. I’ve always been a terrible eater and used to put on 15-20 kg every summer during high and I would lose them in a couple months training everyday. Now I can’t get myself to take the first step doing anything that would help me lose weight, I buy tons of soup & salad, and end up stopping at a drive through on my way home, or I get all pumped about changing my life around in the car, then just don’t even think about changing anything once I’m all tired home. I know I need some sort of game plan, a list or something, but even the thought of making those plans tire me to no end, what have other people done to get out of this hole?",15.80046875,5.937498526041669,13.398500000000002,67.39650000000002,58.53125,16.193333333333335,49.3375,8.238735603445708,4.64219875,735,21,160,4,5,228,124,192,0.118,0.807,0.075,-0.8126,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,8,9,4,0,0,10,0,14,7,0,3,4,30,31,12,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,0,6,8,4,1,4,1,1,5,3,3,0,2,5,1,16,1,25,22,4,36,0,2,0,0,3,16,0,4,14,95,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017175317390534,0.13043942719706894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981367343129277,0.10717008744354496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547072847835102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320609215405402,0.0,0.07763975264889889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319785241895632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21325456496877604,0.0,0.0,0.15902915492564246,0.0,0.20286273299025795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048024973172209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314486586524557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069296928310332,0.2543912682916165,0.2415162553053746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232325896413674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850330046219261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693648549883656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035935773565335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960918749153083,0.0,0.0,0.08926554662611673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820838619972494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346129195445175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102233733935552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183822340153842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995854948847658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267990998744068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006490483418492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810323095199572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713922497746516,0.0,0.09557395006870424,0.0,0.2767346395152487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795168982619028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555771645320878,0.0,0.14659911674038845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103915518320714,0.0,0.0,0.07752537783116167
mentalhealth,mrs_peeps,2019/03/25,"I think I'm hearing/seeing things but I'm afraid to tell anyone I'm a 28f with depression, anxiety, bipolar 2, and ptsd for basically my whole life. I'm on a good regimen of meds, nothing crazy, but it seems to be working. I see a therapist, who I love, at least every few weeks and psychiatrist every month or so. About 8ish months ago, I started hearing and seeing things. I was at a panera with my fiance I swear to god I thought I heard someone yell ""put your hands up. Put your motherfucking hands up"" said several times and immediately behind me. I instantly went into panic mode thinking the place was being held up and quickly started to consider my exits and if the person had a gun or not. I asked my fiance if he heard it bc no one else was reacting. He did not. I actually jumped up ready to bolt but sat back down when I saw that no one NO ONE else was reacting. I looked up front and it was business as usual. My heart was pounding so fucking hard. Even thinking about it makes my heart pound. That was the first instance where I believe I had a hallucination. I told my therapist about it kind of just blowing it off but she instantly became serious and told me it might be a medicine interaction. I've had what I think (after attempting to find the source of whatever I'm hearing and asking whomever I'm with if they heard it too) or more, brief, auditory hallucinations. It's never someone talking to me, it's always someone else talking to someone else or little snippets of music, and it's only happens for a few seconds in 5 second spurts. They pop up in the most random times as if with no trigger. I think I've seen things as well but I've been trying to tell myself that it's just my eyes playing tricks. It's always in the dark or my perifory or ""it"" disappears as soon as I try to look directly at it. It could be swirls or wisps of light or shadows, sometimes I'll see the flash of a face. It happens all the time. I'm more afraid of the hallucinations I see. I was recently on an antibiotic and it made the hallucinations that I see more full bodied and on direct sight  I'm afraid to say anything to my therapist or psychiatrist tho. I dont want to add another diagnosis into my list. I have four fucking diagnoses already. I, and I really struggle but try to accept it, am crazy without medicine. My poor fiance is a goddamn angel for dealing with me for 7 years. 

Idk what to do. I just want to be normal. ",3.203950617283951,4.932577615226336,4.954672839506173,81.1805277777778,74.28806584362141,7.822962962962962,27.99362139917696,8.548686976883017,2.1148544855967075,1915,77,376,36,40,651,233,486,0.111,0.823,0.066,-0.957,0,0,0,1,0,0,52.0,0,2,2,3,17,16,3,5,21,0,25,13,7,5,2,70,73,41,0,8,25,0,3,0,0,1,3,8,0,1,29,21,0,1,9,1,1,7,9,10,1,7,26,23,49,6,62,40,10,50,1,1,11,3,27,24,2,17,19,256,78,1,0.0,0.0,0.07461204512798107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777546403789345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437337925311644,0.0,0.1272384749551884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017295076632333,0.058490212720673375,0.0,0.0,0.053461258861933834,0.0,0.0629184752881654,0.0,0.1429559449393747,0.0,0.0,0.058791534792600235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614206022089567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849276772749736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610455458229263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882491081262863,0.0658532219058333,0.07760332955795007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960828622865417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554836196094589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050499832799727404,0.0,0.12883843974513765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988128896816664,0.06503519355505681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136850361525846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412939988319052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522323399511466,0.0,0.06849141100438506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234759880637454,0.181206357346922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961931210429933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054004594539580376,0.0,0.07663107035921526,0.0,0.0,0.1284110412734763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900639146349992,0.07234647259017424,0.051036354075344785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849276772749736,0.0,0.0,0.08110992754587898,0.0,0.0,0.12205620079926448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058969175507388186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491267302382586,0.07336357830090302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542989681664027,0.058149806022246724,0.0,0.08970706894955294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676023582459747,0.07988240775644842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937538991112103,0.1537229523360613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048980996161096975,0.0,0.07549311814846603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072729131359068,0.06080252445038635,0.0,0.0,0.3046359055557885,0.06960455351396462,0.0,0.08637585388016833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25913069149430223,0.0,0.0756189842482018,0.0,0.10823482807069644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993057346661163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229081977052622,0.1336554428597871,0.0,0.0,0.2663211297481673,0.15238602894061726,0.24495621356247416,0.0,0.060699165517615686,0.13374994287510986,0.0,0.0,0.14611792096410905,0.0,0.15573002793287125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420775995239932,0.0,0.09019389889565643,0.0,0.061330050244457125,0.0,0.06874498534816231,0.07087739500704747,0.0,0.08536270241138072,0.0,0.07370284910874512,0.0,0.05566238409198255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04923648899524002
mentalhealth,VermilionHope,2019/03/25,"College Presentation Hi r/mentalhealth ,

​

I don't know if this allowed so if it isn't then I'll take it down.   


I'm creating a presentation on mental health awareness (specifically depression) because this is something that has personally affected me in life and I wanted to do my part and at least try to get some people informed. I have a section dedicated to hotlines/helpful resources etc. But I want to know what other people do in order to reach out for help and stuff along those lines.   


I would definitely appreciate this and thank you so much for your time.  ",5.767924528301887,7.648939141509437,6.498254716981133,72.07304245283022,67.9622641509434,9.450943396226416,34.00471698113208,9.827888789773867,3.63407924528302,463,22,78,11,8,152,78,106,0.015,0.809,0.175,0.9274,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,2,0,18,16,10,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,10,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,9,1,14,15,6,12,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,3,4,59,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268244646812249,0.254376241845701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761434395737792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030794129456132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23347423535161574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093737578747375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225232045548707,0.0,0.0,0.2806381468315696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301003080461997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786607215366482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21096981897321665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389215006328236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266994795395352,0.0,0.2902659613886641,0.1827913704675749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611634719757319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396491415843456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157400862527679,0.0,0.0,0.1927361077755848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220703464975544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213103991820164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469533874965208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871218636734276,0.0,0.254376241845701,0.0
mentalhealth,Thatguy5755,2019/03/25,"Heart racing in bed (18M) For the past few months, a lot of the time when I'm trying to sleep, my heart will start racing for what seems like hours, and there doesn't seem to be an obvious cause. It's been making it a lot more difficult to get to sleep. I'd say I worry a lot, and I've concerned getting checked out for anxiety, but I never felt like it was too bad. This is starting to change my mind. Is it likely related to some kind of anxiety, or something else entirely? Any help would be appreciated. ",3.7885714285714314,4.3461501428571445,5.094285714285718,85.25571428571429,71.38095238095238,8.666666666666668,26.42857142857143,8.841846274778883,1.6958571428571427,395,12,87,7,7,132,76,105,0.109,0.77,0.122,0.5301,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,6,0,9,4,4,2,2,18,18,5,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,2,0,1,1,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,4,4,13,11,6,10,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,7,11,52,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536501055147217,0.0,0.2370584709837794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936903890834614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591668116202357,0.16390674949955766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943309959234706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876740017356538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190027451241135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672110256321455,0.10385350630157857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258541007562698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134692891580424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22708864512958776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951752075176529,0.0,0.0,0.10342414139837587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644597015869752,0.0,0.12367221364770276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949984391161775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479084601082615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232150885396584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821044455476404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31010525564947994,0.0,0.0,0.1192809448136872,0.0,0.0,0.2193356944362994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034718652719904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519458609918664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734983382151255,0.0,0.1100654501776734,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,radale,2019/03/25,"Have you ever sought help or treatment from on-campus services? * Have you ever tried to access help with a mental health issue from an on-campus service? 
* What encouraged you to access campus services or what discouraged you from doing so?
* What was your experience with your campus' service(s)? What made it a positive or negative experience?",4.608103448275863,8.09817248275862,5.1409482758620735,71.11762931034484,82.79310344827587,7.037931034482759,26.21551724137931,8.07648339933343,2.769096551724138,276,11,36,6,8,88,34,58,0.096,0.718,0.18600000000000005,0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,6,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,2,9,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,7,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,9,0,0,3,2,32,11,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4925871164089604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5326857082063244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28942174179981056,0.0,0.0,0.3650081412135856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841903985437208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25763866203473146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743949899362645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18486077988689434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jellybean_Kit,2019/03/25,Does anyone know how to get cheap therapy in the US? I'm a student in the States and I'm just so sick of feeling broken. My insurance has a crazy expensive copay for therapist sessions and I just can't afford to see a doctor. I just want to feel better and I can't even afford to see someone who can help me. Please help,0.9511134453781516,3.0299510441176487,3.2956302521008425,88.73676470588238,82.67647058823529,6.238655462184874,21.478991596638657,7.447530270364453,0.8646697478991601,253,8,53,4,7,87,47,68,0.135,0.677,0.189,0.2317,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,5,0,4,2,0,1,0,11,13,5,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,8,13,0,3,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,33,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17574687000811898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22229498854169297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25726313904448994,0.21995445664403973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660115706105241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541760387158747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131783839081676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33694366480607496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813311187631408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275902277498394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4005802185226144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129645322736222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874358969227585,0.2918319169596741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023381232364125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825030089243746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,casiapeony,2019/03/25,"Existential Crisis Sorry if this is the wrong sub

I’m 22, almost 25. Around that age Ishould be getting married soon. I have done nothing with my life. Currently having troubles finishing school, havent been with a company long enough to be something more than a sales associate. I should be a manager at least. So no worth while job, an actual career is up in the air due to dealing with mental disorders and school. I just can’t human anymore. ",3.1420238095238098,5.8785005833333335,4.204761904761907,81.54023809523811,78.88095238095238,7.542857142857144,27.190476190476193,8.515128840125781,2.4308904761904766,355,15,62,8,9,115,70,84,0.16399999999999998,0.81,0.026,-0.8959999999999999,2,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,6,0,12,1,0,0,0,9,14,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,10,8,3,12,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,7,44,6,5,0.0,0.0,0.21910530643094173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22483068331006267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226697839445225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998760330025156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314767837869609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573266223103685,0.0,0.0,0.22976838596779106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23199571502835786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730573865612146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228077341509768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858958449640476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19869873359261486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22626972803791295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21543906586285927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544652587766561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728513355657958,0.0,0.2513388403661811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454842913829433,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bluebellsandjays,2019/03/25,"should i be worried? So, first let me explain what's happening, then I'll give some more background. Sometimes I'll be going about my day, not doing anything stressful or out of the ordinary and all of a sudden my ears will start to ring louder (i already have a faint ringing in my ears from listening to loud music throughout middle school) and then i either get really panicky or everything starts to feel really fake and like I'm dreaming. Sometimes it only lasts a few minutes, sometimes it lasts like ten minutes, and sometimes longer. Usually it's around ten minutes or so though. 

Okay, so this happened sometimes when I was younger (around middle school/beginning of high school), but it hasn't happened in years. I'm a 21 year old female by the way. I don't drink a lot, I don't take anything besides my antidepressants and my birth control, I haven't changed anything big in my lifestyle or diet, I don't know what's making this happen again. But it happens a couple times a week, and has for a few weeks now. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday for a check up and I'm definitely going to bring it up, but is this something I should be really worried about? could it be a side effect of my antidepressant (i take citalopram)?",5.0700393797686445,6.4013258242677855,5.445242431700713,81.06320206743786,69.0,7.799261629337928,31.63204528673394,8.124751697461798,2.3583131183854293,988,42,179,13,17,315,131,239,0.04,0.908,0.053,0.4216,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,11,5,0,1,13,1,20,6,2,3,1,31,42,21,0,3,9,0,1,2,0,3,2,6,0,0,12,10,2,1,4,2,1,3,6,2,0,3,1,7,19,3,23,32,7,39,0,0,0,0,3,14,0,6,23,121,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772750765227199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24100198148072044,0.17380726845980066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327036788216436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949056405308252,0.07794264687500364,0.1080160871926913,0.0,0.06295764822860782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999195144823981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563168751805476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773570990614972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936025128955094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303660909860493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05100308852493362,0.09364722509392676,0.11096084380985527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4316308681697022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314223986492907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365010130828416,0.15914874162833614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982437068071633,0.0,0.09538565066619616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299411948737108,0.0,0.0,0.06516296102947296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024371094731692,0.0,0.0,0.07424538081433231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18761607104526093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963938349108603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515362905952122,0.4827496999863439,0.0,0.13819368588105493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182484398869398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467981037022476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591240987110798,0.0,0.05692375218390594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751604575939412,0.0,0.0,0.07748722648816284,0.15661180138829026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982782926823753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257298046364502
mentalhealth,rugsnatcher57,2019/03/25,"Life Upheaval, I don't know what to do Hi, this is my first post ever on Reddit, sorry if I'm breaking any rules/standards.

I just graduated with my Bachelor's in December, a semester early due to my efforts. I thought I could be proud of that but it's made me feel alienated from my peers more than anything. I had plans for graduate school, hoping to get a master's in Market Research or Applied Sociology; I've take the GRE, had happy references, started applications. My grandparents' fell terminally ill in January, so I flew out with my dad to see them and that ended up into half a month of helping them move into an assisted living community. Fly back, no closer to graduate school or a job, and break up with bf. 

My relationship with my bf of 3 1/2 years (all of university) ended in mid-February for a lot of reasons. I've kept in contact with my ex mostly bc nobody else (our mutual friends, even my own friends from before) are talking to me. I've always been super private, can go long periods without reaching out to anybody, I feel like maybe nobody cares enough about me as a friend anymore to check in. Our mutual friends have even told my ex that they miss me, but not a single one has reached out. Only our two friends, who are married and currently working on their graduate degrees out in Nevada have reached out to me, so contact with them is sporadic. I ended up moving back home with my parents (same state) bc I hadn't secured a job in my college town.

Somehow the idea of repainting my old room was brought up, so I haven't even moved my stuff in. I have to clean the room out, but I find it so overwhelming. I've been staying in the living room, living out of a duffel bag, but my parents are fed up. They gave me until April 1st to have it done, which is generous since I've been here since late February. Idk what will happen if I don't have it done. Probably nothing serious like my not being able to live here, but I don't want to keep disappointing them.

I still haven't found a job here in my hometown, and the prospects aren't good. It's very rural, very few jobs, let alone those wanting or needing Bachelor's degrees, so I'm not in high demand. I can't bring myself to finish my grad school applications, I think the financial aid window has passed for most of them, and the applications cost money I don't have. 

I was on an SSRI since \~2014 until November 2018 for an anxiety/panic disorder. I finally weened off, even beat the dreaded discontinuation symptoms, and felt fine, obviously until all of this happened. I no longer have a psychiatrist since my last one was through the university. Idk if going back on would help but I dread the idea. I don't feel the same anxiety/panic I did before medication, just the absolute stress and bleakness I think would come with this situation.

I know talking to my ex is feeding the bitterness I have, especially as he has this whole support group that used to be *mine*. But he's the only human contact I have outside family and I just can't lose that. I hate being a ""boomerang kid"" when I just had everything lined up and going for me. Everyone kept telling me how well I would do in grad school, that I'm a great fit for the career I chose, how great of a couple my ex and I were, we should get married, etc. It feels like I failed all of them. I keep spending my days online, wasting time, applying to jobs, and spiraling. I just want an out. Something positive.

I guess I am looking for advice, if you have any. And I think I need to vent to anybody that isn't my ex. Thanks if you read all of this.

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PS: If this should be tagged with anything let me know, I'll add them.

​

​",4.00090909090909,5.474047724137932,5.12690909090909,81.78345454545456,71.75862068965517,8.25203761755486,29.043887147335425,8.789673983102933,2.270186206896552,2900,115,567,54,55,957,333,725,0.084,0.772,0.14400000000000002,0.9942,9,1,1,0,0,0,111.0,4,2,10,10,28,32,2,4,33,0,63,6,0,5,6,110,115,41,0,18,25,8,5,3,7,6,4,0,6,2,25,34,2,5,18,1,4,12,18,11,1,5,25,8,92,21,92,76,16,87,0,5,2,0,49,41,0,15,32,386,117,23,0.058839270102406624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05749705376395045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093973883068383,0.0,0.0,0.048958986240854964,0.19125697371951053,0.21448846036041427,0.0800254427083637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835274535806961,0.0,0.0,0.09683941172711304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357313003320757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013577028026223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999055730119127,0.0,0.0,0.050684821208194314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469783693817883,0.06510453322750938,0.0,0.03794646156468612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743490113265754,0.0,0.0,0.12042600374601012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915266008032768,0.0,0.15634238667032166,0.060796694744114435,0.06562133962281089,0.15545113190506768,0.05322348841941309,0.0,0.056223444084374734,0.05288094199000517,0.0,0.055468427291611694,0.0,0.11900361154412276,0.08406957263560272,0.0564949265280339,0.0644555443563853,0.053778026910344855,0.050048653091052005,0.0,0.06451422266110833,0.2272953706199957,0.0,0.061482180254383824,0.0,0.10031913945212788,0.049351588151636885,0.0,0.1297410060175485,0.06481808961576747,0.0,0.10406274446376912,0.06263549713579361,0.0,0.058091597694411974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887744494212022,0.06216691936328885,0.059020585373556665,0.05844067149224508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284474801009016,0.0,0.0,0.2919444826416073,0.1045980935363508,0.0,0.0,0.0970095722052993,0.0479618583062292,0.06637325953372558,0.0,0.0,0.12033428032445248,0.04155991655727484,0.08623768585710946,0.0,0.20782461394330126,0.0520709024767794,0.04941016783717452,0.06582609274218383,0.0,0.050023043328855515,0.0,0.05567514004493025,0.0,0.0,0.05911195535329385,0.0,0.0,0.05927437442300704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046964944036360035,0.18761049710791525,0.0,0.08725714646250035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564578665671493,0.0,0.061741916141887565,0.0,0.07974202438733959,0.08949983262387325,0.0,0.0,0.1306680925811332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635175608159095,0.0,0.06343868491364772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05885519284452712,0.0,0.0,0.060496569331871225,0.0,0.06317135610785654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23819393048937995,0.046887280325637284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19468980902780375,0.06613780486388231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045297344751482345,0.0,0.06586574563764942,0.04164673822254461,0.0627148331151671,0.04698911710956561,0.0,0.06740018510516448,0.0,0.06735688709521925,0.0,0.06677010643531411,0.0,0.06115653079054625,0.04423980847949572,0.09458555303275176,0.05142811551531304,0.05417129460504646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310548536807725,0.0,0.04671180805106224,0.03430965156958928,0.0,0.0,0.056223444084374734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747741720971679,0.0,0.0,0.050818237668696205,0.0,0.09709711996269756,0.10411477793796313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290357013432929,0.0,0.0,0.0656919437978625,0.0,0.05671895669446991,0.0,0.04283568940687675,0.0,0.0,0.12539318789885406,0.0,0.21448846036041427,0.03789056082470231
mentalhealth,TinCrocodile,2019/03/25,"Im looking for guidance regarding medicare rebates for psychological services in Australia. In 2017, I lived in Adelaide and sought help from my GP regarding depression. I was put on a mental health plan and was referred to a psychologist. My GP told me the plan would provide 6+4 free sessions for the year with the psychologist on medicare, which it did. I benefited hugely from this.
This year (now living in Perth), I have been developing a panic disorder and again I sought help from a GP. Again, I was put on a mental health plan and referred to a psychologist, being told the sessions were covered by medicare. When I visited the psychologist, they charged me the full fee ($190) and told me the rebate would come through later. When I received the rebate, it was only ~$80, meaning I paid $100+ for the session. This happened twice. I decided that I couldn’t afford the sessions (which tbh werent helping me anyway) if they werent completely covered by medicare. 

What I am wondering is: Should these sessions be completely covered (bulk billed) as I am on a MHP? Or is this subject to the individual clinic I visit? I have the MHP with 4+4 visits left and I would like to use them, but I cannot afford it if it isnt covered.",6.4506148282097655,6.690303624472578,7.143788426763113,73.99680379746837,65.49789029535864,9.640626883664858,36.33785412899337,9.424239791934726,3.4186638939119955,977,46,177,17,14,324,119,237,0.046,0.918,0.037000000000000005,-0.2392,4,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,3,3,6,5,0,1,19,0,22,3,0,1,0,24,32,13,0,7,4,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,13,9,0,0,5,0,4,7,3,2,0,1,11,1,26,4,25,14,1,26,0,1,1,0,13,11,0,4,9,123,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117446536006787,0.2949789462560773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115858104454524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121962939937787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439372502176199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29905056338377084,0.0,0.0,0.2828637447659881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15194738313674966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283800855201424,0.0,0.0,0.06872409548873834,0.0,0.2484277924134283,0.0,0.11812709462715584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323050986126646,0.0,0.0,0.2835238839343401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698562320527684,0.0,0.16504554931472926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828237440781262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4032476951812351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214934300498148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255025705079092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997830936608229,0.0,0.0,0.18117331148379945
mentalhealth,ZyelNadja,2019/03/25,"TW cutting/hinted suicide. Hi I just wanted to say again there is a tw is this is a bit deep. I wanted advice on how I can improve my mental health but as i don't know how to explain I'm just going to grab a snip bit out of my diary if anyone can help me please do. I have cut names out of this including my best friend. And my brother.  


  


  


  


I really should try cutting more often but its so risky heh no ones found out.. no ones noticed the increasing amount of scars on my leg. its kinda funny, people say they care and turn around and act like nothings wrong like depression doesn't exist anxiety doesnt exist its all fun in games to them. my emotions me being stable its all fucking FUN IN GAMES. Well heres a bit of real life for you Mom, Dad, my life is not a fucking game. i have serious issues and i bet you give no fucks because you know i have issues and wont even permit me the proper help. Well mom can yell at dad over a fucking song im over here every day trying not to kill myself. oh but for who? not for you guys because you couldn't give a flying fuck in the world now could ya? for \[sibling\] my soon to be niece. im going to be an aunt am i excited? Yes but do i want to? God if i know that'd be fucking wonderful. Im alive for my brothers \[best friend\] and my friends cause only you know if you actually care about me god if i'd believe it. it may make things easier on me but heh not how life works eh? So you guys read this? Good. hopefully im dead. cause honestly i dont want to be here i think thats been made clear for you guys and if you read this and im still here one what the fuck two get me some help life isnt some fucking game that you can throw around in your hands my mentality, my well me is like a glass ball you can throw it around all you want but soon its gonna chip or shatter and when that day comes im not going to be here. i miss being happy all i ever feel is depressed theres dark days and theres normal days i can be fine not happy but not wanting to fucking end it all or i can be one push one fucking tap away from sliting my own throat. All i want is to end it all but im still alive. dad says control my depression? OH YOU THINK YOU FUCKING THINK IM NOT TRYING? What you see is a sliver, a single snow flake in a blizzard a single blood cell in a blood circulation. oh whats the circulation? a cycle. a cycle of depression that never ends all thats gonna help in the end is me, not being here but oh no thats so selfish to think i just want attention. okay ill be the glass ball but one i shatter your whos to blame.​",-0.3721851175775797,1.7420644100719436,1.823396327713948,96.77028830666815,89.25179856115109,4.686309459894772,17.111457102974335,6.171275993613683,-0.4297737249006763,1996,49,467,19,67,668,232,556,0.112,0.648,0.24,0.9978,0,0,0,0,0,2,49.0,0,19,2,4,36,47,14,0,23,4,45,22,5,9,11,100,95,35,3,18,29,8,3,3,3,5,6,5,0,3,26,17,0,1,13,9,1,9,21,22,3,7,3,9,65,25,48,73,21,48,0,5,1,11,54,22,11,15,20,301,91,3,0.0,0.0,0.04841624148564085,0.0,0.0,0.048482361163856416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03795467955305533,0.0,0.0,0.034691358677354414,0.0,0.0,0.1325013041264496,0.0,0.0,0.04661411558194797,0.0,0.0,0.0604886357000829,0.0,0.0,0.05589814329002238,0.10413395316828586,0.0,0.16249736531136982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011698400212966,0.10193477255560177,0.0,0.042738186506555545,0.0,0.0,0.05564647422452081,0.03961285182728685,0.0,0.0,0.12798805740707267,0.0,0.17093033645875044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05814739989661428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580922705039723,0.17577359904128384,0.0,0.0,0.03276967003949819,0.044878828027327136,0.041802050866143865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025086398767369737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439934115758773,0.11499527917912668,0.5045421793180764,0.025921339208716667,0.09518880357325883,0.08459057346717118,0.04161398478956016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737738998808672,0.0,0.10563034434015482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273750833068643,0.0,0.0,0.13302124276022473,0.0,0.0,0.04927803350720145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4287342604985154,0.10356853923619352,0.0,0.0,0.054890692436957836,0.0,0.10906653026819672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017573093338934,0.07271688474377072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046946096726767916,0.03311782218568208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999876289647733,0.0,0.0,0.11621495690961366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03826548162133322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048611320883043437,0.04760610323942417,0.0564860246302276,0.0,0.0,0.2017189424429954,0.0377337874318692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0343961960899109,0.0,0.0,0.05446142436649702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925512801304033,0.056471750638146974,0.031784087063625684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836546103287915,0.0,0.0,0.03953604419577726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924382893876407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426981396116068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03296142851810528,0.12716294446995413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101054228255377,0.05396593477697447,0.04846580333259296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23410963106416274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133827204675908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053804415955840616,0.03611968315894954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05424527103488518,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,targaryen-fire,2019/03/25,"College Confusion/Anxiety - Need Help :/ Hi guys. Since the beginning of high school, I’ve had crippling anxiety. I can’t help but break down when I’m in uncomfortable situations. Especially when I’m away from home. I’m usually under control with simple things like: going on a trip with friends, giving a speech for class, etc. 
However, I worry a lot. I’ve always had trouble sticking with the decisions I make. When I was a senior in high school, I changed my college choice countless times. Last summer (my summer after senior year), I ended up needing an emergency surgery and wasn’t really in shape to go to the college I had planned to. It was 2 hours away from home and there was no way I could’ve done it. I ended up going to the private university in my rural hometown I swore I’d never go to (I got a good scholarship there despite it being private so it cost around the same) The quality of education is fine, but I just feel so envious of all the fun my old high school friends are having at the larger schools. I went to visit my stepsister for a weekend at the school where she and all of my other siblings went. I liked it, but I found myself depressed and anxious. I’m so attached to my home and my dad that I can’t seem to find a place without it. I don’t know if that’s normal or if it’s just my anxiety. I’m also gay, so me being in a rural town and pursuing a career in education is a little daunting, not to mention the lack of dating and a social life. I’m just so lost. I want to leave so bad but my dad is older to have a kid my age (he’s 61) and I also feel like I’ll regret not having spent this time with him if I move. I just need some advice to soothe my mind, if you all could. ",1.6777199759636012,3.60344937393768,3.858305433942828,86.45292986522448,79.33994334277621,6.658391278221306,24.01141728903769,7.686295010490155,1.2348364494806423,1331,47,276,21,33,457,180,353,0.139,0.748,0.112,-0.8726,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,0,3,19,14,1,0,23,0,21,2,0,2,4,54,48,28,0,12,16,2,2,3,2,0,1,1,3,2,12,13,0,1,7,1,3,9,9,6,0,0,14,3,38,8,43,31,8,58,0,3,0,1,17,24,0,8,26,184,50,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858406468091155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498870965803692,0.0754297084799667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804554735533148,0.10241093317385168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069948061710637,0.0,0.0,0.17034103664213174,0.0,0.0756906159025542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589777372464353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167390270679492,0.14475645757450245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807841665145662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927684481790681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058149286546794,0.0,0.10110091931770923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167272870680693,0.06476179188783139,0.0,0.0,0.0828542664776443,0.0,0.0,0.099395215909889,0.14007498815737626,0.0,0.0,0.08696163852389224,0.20607843489266364,0.07603457900431279,0.0725026687965555,0.0,0.0,0.08975971146210948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152422128103392,0.2873363787559864,0.2727939786463166,0.0,0.08927393883284783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049819956886728654,0.07389346201734512,0.0,0.09598735661460894,0.0,0.0,0.06403017364258723,0.132863933746254,0.09085709805527224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989573436256992,0.07706907077311298,0.0,0.0,0.06051089988526528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915326567833108,0.0,0.0,0.09634870729698453,0.0,0.20165188127305952,0.06991639469732433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888196921510153,0.0,0.0,0.09512400262264503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471202373132556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807397900345958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4587232119687583,0.0,0.08252615700220645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498825377399798,0.10189662252901356,0.0,0.09240827648493126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060225146748831074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571979588024076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984034761808487,0.0,0.0534688859070889,0.07195532140246605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16807058541322248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738527280169865,0.0,0.0,0.09206148499373662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837690231348695
mentalhealth,Trackhmg,2019/03/25,"Help I don’t feel emotions for anything or anyone. I would rather die right now. I feel as if my existence is meaningless and if I passed, no one would shed a tear. Not my mother, father, brothers, my fiancé. I try my hardest for them and for what ? I feel empty, a void of a person. ",0.86281609195402,2.934442293103448,2.8282758620689665,92.00264367816094,82.9655172413793,5.2459770114942526,20.011494252873558,6.42735559955562,0.15678390804597653,215,6,46,2,6,72,41,58,0.191,0.7609999999999999,0.048,-0.7964,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,12,7,6,1,5,5,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,11,0,5,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,3,1,34,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21386748828550292,0.0,0.2517003258637197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317438939781944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34405626263969763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4639626667036368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050144485715696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20726162174430648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670689814848488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612065118561335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20766183858263676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4345545639919197,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whyamihere02,2019/03/25,Help meee Hey guys!! So I’m doing a study for my stats class on the factors (such as: how many siblings you have) that affect personality type. I’d really appreciate if you could fill out this survey! https://forms.gle/hPT6qYwzj41TkSeD8 it won’t take too long I promise! And you’ll find out if you’re an introvert or extrovert if you haven’t already xxxx ,2.3513636363636365,5.284717772727274,3.6112727272727305,80.92690909090909,90.96969696969695,6.276363636363637,20.236363636363638,7.554174236665415,1.1303381818181824,287,9,53,6,10,93,55,66,0.0,0.857,0.14300000000000002,0.8466,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,2,0,11,8,8,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,5,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,4,1,31,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39847367464128813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28830234346274697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300312758634301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575375578633158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420321578039136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195547952776601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660903124219827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152913481056733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313245919586921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27149602310220083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emptypiggybanks,2019/03/26,"Psychiatrist? Psychologist? Therapist? Who do I need? I am absolutely mental right now. 6 years is enough suffering and I want to do something about it. But I am confused- psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist. What do I need to go first? What are the difference between the 3 anyway?

I’ve never been diagnosed. I’m confident I have depression, social anxiety, and the sorts. Please enlighten me. Thanks",3.488619909502262,6.3856280882352925,5.191176470588236,67.16106334841632,99.0,10.327601809954752,30.23076923076923,9.057496981413335,4.965761085972852,322,17,47,14,13,108,49,68,0.146,0.664,0.189,0.4871,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,3,0,9,1,0,0,1,10,15,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,7,1,4,14,1,6,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,2,4,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131028147850316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19287558475517808,0.2272901330301132,0.0,0.2339652588252751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313855532316171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904796853301212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726788125324026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256746259094501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320911308191212,0.17271310164265075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458142723851233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191239957916274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22827435708401725,0.0,0.1723967268181085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617000684358774,0.0,0.5200134698171573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320831425357199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420731942057954
mentalhealth,AwkwardPiece,2019/03/26,"How do I prepare for my first appointment with a psychiatrist?  Hi, so backstory - so I went to my PCP when I thought I had ADHD, anxiety, and depression. She referred me to a psychologist for testing, but when I found out how much it cost, I decided against it. So I went back to PCP and she just prescribed me citalopram (antidepressant) for what she says is supposed to treat the anxiety and depression - she didn't feel comfortable prescribing me anything for ADHD which is understandable because it's a controlled substance. The SSRI has actually been helping to be honest with anxiety and depression, but it gives me this awful fatigue and migraines, so I want to change it.

Also - there's a plot twist - I also have what I highly suspect is binge-eating disorder/food addiction. This is something I've been dealing with for years (my mom can provide testimony) and I'm honestly so sick and tired of dealing with it. I've tried food diaries, exercising for stress relief, meditation, natural supplements - you name it - none of it has worked. The only reason my lardass isn't ridiculously overweight anymore (I'm about 30 pounds overweight now) is because I got a personal trainer and became really active (like I love exercise) - except my eating deeply offsets the progress I could be making. And I'm literally always thinking about food.... I know Vynase is prescribed for binge-eating disorder and I was hoping to get that or something like it to treat the eating disorder and possibly the ADHD (if I have it) at the same time.

So I figure I might as well just go straight to a psychiatrist, since I'm positive I want medication to treat these things...My thing is...How do I bring it up to my psychiatrist at the first appointment? Do I straight-up say, "" I was hoping you could give me a better antidepressant and also something else for possible ADHD and binge-eating?"" or do I really have to sugar coat it?

(I'm 21 and female)

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read and respond!",5.682181854879406,7.384339250681201,6.559067514380867,72.24723786456758,67.9373297002725,9.796710061560196,34.02855989504491,10.082433333333334,3.813866767585024,1583,75,263,40,27,524,180,367,0.127,0.6709999999999999,0.203,0.9858,0,0,3,0,0,0,62.0,0,3,0,7,21,21,1,1,16,1,28,16,0,5,0,52,55,34,0,7,8,1,1,2,0,1,10,2,0,1,20,20,7,1,11,3,1,5,3,6,1,2,11,4,41,15,38,39,3,21,0,4,0,1,20,7,0,6,11,187,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.08377866736072619,0.0935907932922013,0.41270721695930856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596621008495625,0.0714353148373837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19702845835326346,0.0,0.08514160640035733,0.0,0.0,0.07064845901180719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601449442334961,0.0,0.10466853960409843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592866385329085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081949004275293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628974308623256,0.13709085359020498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701822732194594,0.2218312805881742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967864844970741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569500867234794,0.07171790140137904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043409091518046033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460504624486221,0.311435877595842,0.09413172455436997,0.0,0.0,0.044853858715069535,0.16471313894521733,0.04879137867032362,0.0,0.06866327706155789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05754444225304245,0.09070680988653644,0.0,0.1705397961803769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04718173219950265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083885400319139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774843191373201,0.0,0.05730653440806242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648634140147034,0.0,0.09107486100753487,0.0,0.10054822429947624,0.0,0.0,0.06311072135056521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529392469368951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496220724788931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356930497357214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587471991312022,0.0,0.10999732221087792,0.08826962747030043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654509702511824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101723744396919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827800770021486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834258861895268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454963408619685,0.0,0.0,0.07904051497763574,0.0,0.0,0.05703591337984555,0.055010166518803305,0.0,0.06815649119724898,0.10012138526631983,0.09867365536600883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058287524424443425,0.0,0.0,0.08937442597525835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127486306781837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719079741511876,0.1591703776382172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250090522714195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055285543057649295
mentalhealth,yesiveredditalready,2019/03/26,"Does anybody else’s brain switch into overdrive as soon as it’s bed time? I’m fine during the day, but as soon as I go to bed I start stressing that I’ll wake up and my parents have died (fuck I’m even shaking typing that out) or that my sister is unhappy etc... it’s like my brain starts reminding me of my fears and the unhappiest times in my life - like my Grandad’s funeral, my dog’s death, when I quit a job on the first day because I was that depressed - even though I thought I had worked through these times and made peace.

I’m not looking for sympathy or anything, I’d just be interested to hear your experiences. I just really needed to put pen to paper (or thumbs to screen I guess). Have a beautiful day/night, if you’re reading this :)",7.476610644257704,5.288882431372549,7.5878804855275455,79.59117647058825,64.55555555555556,11.095798319327734,35.582633053221286,9.606745405546679,2.9622593837535014,584,21,128,9,7,190,101,153,0.212,0.6409999999999999,0.147,-0.9147,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,3,8,9,1,3,5,0,6,5,3,1,0,17,19,14,3,2,8,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,8,5,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,5,0,1,4,3,17,4,17,14,1,19,0,1,2,1,4,5,1,5,13,72,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787479438666724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947258310219472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469388622662634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006459384920388,0.0,0.13383934007205572,0.0,0.1612728907507098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598503156306907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298105015144339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330372339085998,0.20527057295175316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200369102461006,0.0,0.17485977401258684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321767885451963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14365787036126942,0.0,0.0,0.08831314373420268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118236747471272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751386509245747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15420308745913286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975832441990403,0.15183386117537878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304905707315529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703614899595802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522157625349898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582534286781496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17254499148338162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621239097463244,0.0,0.16527906067853212,0.15543456015180235,0.0,0.0995484201463561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199752349628203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800159373609942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267235085839534,0.12336429442159982,0.27183186442536345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312759707279152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ratioed,2019/03/26,"How to cut ties with terrible therapist? (x-posting from r/getting_over_it, sorry, I'm really looking for help!)

In January, I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life. I chose her mostly because she accepted my insurance, and she was the only one available of the few therapists I cold-contacted. I didn't feel a particularly strong connection, but I kept going, because I don't even know what a good therapist would be like.

Recently, at the end of my tenth session, I let her know that earlier that day I had just accepted a new job offer, so my insurance would be changing, and I would no longer be able to see her because she would be out of network. She immediately became incredibly cold and even cruel, saying things like, ""Funny how you chose to bring it up at the end of the session. Do you know how many patients I turned down because you committed to this regular time each week? Do you know that this is how I make a living, and that this decision costs me business? There are consequences for ME, not just you.""

It was terrible. I was shocked and hurt and started crying and just kept apologizing over and over again (looking back at it, I shouldn't have had to apologize at ALL). She sent me away with an order to look at my new job's medical insurance plan again in case there was something I could do to keep seeing her. Still crying, I just said okay to whatever and left.

Obviously, I don't want to keep seeing her, even if I could afford it. This was such a terrible experience, especially considering I'm so new to therapy. Can I just ghost her, not email her even though I said I would? Or should I email her and tell her exactly why I don't want to continue seeing her anyway (could this have negative repercussions on me if she becomes vengeful or something?)? Or should I email her with a simple, ""I'm no longer engaging your services"" without any reason?

Thank you. I appreciate it.",5.646187556766575,6.5207210517711225,6.5143494550408745,75.59406732515897,67.36512261580381,10.476339691189828,32.45787920072661,10.504223727775694,3.4956631244323333,1514,63,283,40,24,502,177,367,0.15,0.767,0.083,-0.9777,3,0,2,0,0,0,56.0,0,7,0,3,24,16,2,0,14,1,35,2,0,6,4,65,67,23,1,15,14,0,1,2,0,8,2,3,0,0,16,15,0,4,9,0,1,3,11,7,0,3,13,13,57,9,38,38,4,38,0,1,8,0,36,16,0,6,20,212,73,5,0.08272667060533052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05625697283003666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772443022917896,0.0636117032828701,0.0,0.2017176422392544,0.09136510817916972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751384833537043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981515448437108,0.0,0.1817427262295368,0.05335185873373413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654255115918927,0.0,0.0,0.218560742884034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092255785553458,0.0,0.0,0.04182909031638669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036726375595488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04701547334188157,0.0693872063634489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544994350337787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856061187670446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418691128221896,0.1470625317898585,0.0,0.0,0.18185765870139112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988276966766301,0.08459362559736544,0.05843229396684976,0.08083214514445251,0.0,0.07304916576737185,0.0,0.2084087041922456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055220695012183116,0.08387185952942264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333841734771227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23969380191942466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605773298523512,0.0629173608019021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922928267601048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299682352724126,0.08505679548981272,0.08168260700285898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738401592523887,0.06578756887078653,0.0,0.0,0.3296122290714939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737406538286433,0.0,0.09260573481038888,0.1171087264925796,0.0,0.0660656260078138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230675643466515,0.07616360361466654,0.09460515753802852,0.3842081629214744,0.05495992403000095,0.0,0.08127853384348874,0.0,0.09647717380046092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899828620571265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975886673943034,0.0,0.06635834516374893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464795291082135,0.0,0.0,0.07974555835541376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29383326626946416,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,woried1,2019/03/26,Anyone please help I feel like I’m drowning in myself. Every day when I go to get in bed I think about death. I think about not seeing colors and not breathing. It’s dark and cold. I’m 17 and I have been this way since I was 15. I think the death of my grandpa is what caused this. It was my first death in the family that I actually had a bond with. I’m scared that if I keep feeling this way every day it is slowly going to consume me and I might take my life one day. I can’t seem to stop thinking about death. Usually when I think about it I feel like screaming but instead I just give this dry cough as loud as I can it seems to help. When I first started thinking about death I would run from my room to the kitchen across the house and burst into tears and cry with my head on the refrigerator. ,1.1286622807017537,2.9214790116959084,2.4483004385964944,96.54508223684212,80.52046783625731,5.2106725146198825,18.874634502923968,5.985473137389443,-0.4037225146198833,625,14,148,4,16,201,96,171,0.158,0.773,0.069,-0.9451,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,0,2,10,4,0,1,6,0,11,5,2,1,0,30,33,13,6,2,5,1,3,2,0,2,2,2,3,0,12,9,1,2,11,0,0,3,3,2,0,3,4,8,24,2,22,27,0,23,0,0,2,0,4,7,0,4,13,93,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.12978966158347965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299729934510303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662852823369465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609520828239306,0.25732367096045944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22411793517765247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538138159688972,0.0,0.2017477053024105,0.19003169337930706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262609407917545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948746413303683,0.12758655177698633,0.1511749166060695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649726134179133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829535659416887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346514465887715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821728251858735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394244638680407,0.12995501196429382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410929030183124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901248302611376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599501367693488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315707107891298,0.0,0.1059844721329984,0.24215799016769604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001969242073754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413869893759008,0.0,0.0,0.11119468105092636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000001005901929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5113295153324425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464816659049878,0.0,0.0,0.21113979670985908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448000066141107,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,insertclevername1234,2019/03/26,"I don't know if i need help or to talk but here is how i feel everyone loves the girl with the smile

her laugh spills out

easily from her lips

​

no one sees the girl

with her cheek against the tile,

stomach a washing machine,

heart pounding, shouting escape, escape

​

going for a drive

escape, escape the empty house

the thoughts

but still the crash

still the blade

still, always remembering no one will stay

​

but the girl with the smile is hurting

when the people are gone

and she is alone

the girl with the smile lies, her cheek on the tile",9.300277777777776,7.7098951388888874,7.256222222222222,81.51100000000002,60.574074074074076,9.751111111111113,33.63703703703704,7.554174236665415,2.17077925925926,457,13,88,3,5,132,66,108,0.153,0.609,0.238,0.8945,0,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,16,0,6,7,5,1,0,17,14,8,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,0,6,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,1,0,2,2,3,8,2,10,11,0,10,0,1,1,1,12,2,0,2,4,56,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508338159517772,0.0,0.0,0.10852598891606137,0.4239538806602662,0.475450454737416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246289054986996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594797819073063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741248587316904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455701693908122,0.08742269165259471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504956301410784,0.1396251569524253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167945094635683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771575976123105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671021437464193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676187191112858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042188998972736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774874237950242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039336974808144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390181824853571,0.3124783085287495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048325493256036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354473309270544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.475450454737416,0.0
mentalhealth,CapitalTear,2019/03/26,"Does this sound like Intermittent Explosive Disorder? Hey guys!

For my entire life I've been easily irritated and have thrown wild tantrums. I've always found it hard to listen to the word 'no' and become extremely aggressive and frustrated when I feel controlled, manipulated or unheard. As a child I would hit, punch and kick anybody who tried to control me and I find it very difficult to respect authority.  I rarely have very much control over my emotions and it usually results in outbursts of screaming and yelling. Afterwards, I always feel regret, but not particularly remorse. Just regret for the consequences and it results in an outburst of tears.More recently (the past year and a half) it's gotten violent. I start kicking and punching walls, slamming myself into them, absolutely fucking tearing my room to shreds. If it's someone else who's causing this type of anger I often find it incredibly difficult to withhold hitting them. I 99% of the time don't act out violently towards another person, but I have the deepest urges to hurt them. I get this sort of heated, fiery feeling in my fists and my thoughts are rather horribly graphic. I'm very temperamental in relationships. The smallest things can set me off and suddenly I'm screaming and yelling on the top of my lungs and throwing a whole tantrum. This can result in either me spamming the person with messages or yelling at them (slamming my fists into walls or tables, etc.) I can't see anyone professional about this yet, so I'd like to see if this sounds even relatively to IED or if it could be something else. Thanks!",6.785104166666668,8.379275635416667,6.8655833333333325,71.48775,65.21527777777777,9.648888888888887,37.31666666666667,9.888512548439397,4.024554999999999,1285,66,208,28,20,411,175,288,0.19,0.733,0.077,-0.989,0,1,1,0,3,0,33.0,0,0,4,4,8,19,8,0,12,0,12,3,1,8,0,54,29,26,0,8,13,0,4,2,0,1,1,8,1,4,17,18,0,4,7,0,0,2,4,15,0,1,4,14,26,4,33,20,4,30,0,3,2,1,14,17,1,9,12,137,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114005422323072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320346121983845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882328333324385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029616118762514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13049620322490152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4274294292573032,0.10142420751568074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558894862216087,0.0,0.11116600268329492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122368086222877,0.14289318654281102,0.0,0.0,0.14167355008156265,0.08390301785889097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269262350736646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322087306526709,0.0,0.0,0.1392833338619384,0.0,0.11743844905937738,0.06636864466239313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578102219992665,0.0,0.0,0.11379515063884693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598970248427444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972600915504493,0.12412221569407746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338266895409238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126581083387132,0.0,0.22183777442863972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254281467693949,0.1363841447722533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20245510059941998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763326248255704,0.09779495019605107,0.0,0.0,0.08991345326413296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695341276671108,0.0,0.0,0.08439399366169192,0.0,0.0,0.1008487134728054,0.0740730099059956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624595759643662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399071005871034,0.3144425372953432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182598135144586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023943627579636,0.0,0.0,0.08180403352739443
mentalhealth,DoctorShad,2019/03/26,"Need to vent Everything feels like it's crashing.
Like I'm in a pit full of water and every time I get my head above it, it just keeps filling up.
I'm stressed and struggling.
Barely sleeping, almost constantly sick.
My body ACHES
And I'm constantly on edge. Can't shut my brain off.

Alright it felt alright to get that out. ",0.7312649572649583,3.2600627076923097,1.9312820512820537,94.07982905982908,91.15384615384615,4.735042735042735,22.606837606837612,6.42735559955562,0.6050170940170942,256,10,52,3,9,81,48,65,0.157,0.715,0.129,-0.4506,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,1,2,1,6,4,0,0,10,10,3,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,2,4,4,8,9,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,1,5,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264974299784675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251247006560592,0.0,0.25250375750938464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4888638347236927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905755188093544,0.0,0.2032857214055622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143688733229576,0.16159076482332665,0.217178655727734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23635073234817774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321370342417983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20104879094440525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210108156434656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771762471414373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263541692517475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25910081659591955,0.2364637531665485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189368434124513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThrowAway_Negativity,2019/03/26,"There is hope I have had anxiety for over 10 years now. It has been a rough road. Mental health is HARD. Getting by day to day is a feat all by itself, let alone trying to accomplish goals. I have had thoughts of suicide, of self harm, of wishing something would just run me over. I have had sessions of self loathing and thinking about how much everyone must hate me. 

I am in a much better state now due to a few factors. I have someone I can talk to. They know when I am spiraling and help bring me back to earth. I started some breathing exercises to try to get me out of an anxiety attack. I have also tried meditation. Lastly, I find that a really funny show or movie brings me out of myself for a little while and its like a breath of fresh air. I also got some medication that helps when I am on it, but I go through cycles of going off of it, then getting so bad I get back on. 

Now, I still get the horrible thoughts about myself, wanting to hurt myself, etc from time to time. I am not saying there is a magic something that will take it all away and you will be 100% fine the rest of your life. It is a struggle to maintain good mental health every day, but it is possible. 

There is something out there that will help. There IS someone out there who cares and will help you. I believe in all of you. Yes, you. Please feel free to message me if you just want someone to listen. I have been there. ",2.2341052631578933,4.029778585964916,3.34722807017544,91.36926315789476,77.17543859649123,6.103859649122808,23.329824561403512,6.918507183188421,0.640378245614035,1087,34,234,11,25,350,151,285,0.117,0.735,0.149,0.7841,0,1,3,0,0,3,34.0,0,6,1,3,23,13,2,1,12,1,33,7,2,1,4,34,57,17,1,7,7,0,3,1,0,6,5,2,0,2,13,9,0,0,6,2,1,5,1,6,0,0,8,5,34,8,43,41,10,40,0,1,0,0,18,15,0,5,20,178,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656775644627063,0.0,0.16456952145489734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574281484852212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705744233201587,0.09667284766670403,0.15823916581059347,0.08591267876711747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592695954142793,0.0,0.09100189688802636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10490788477633613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19907548103834874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475465882831465,0.0,0.0,0.08669312385503082,0.0983201833601775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052026592723413416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404378462903744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687908635996596,0.0,0.11695472527636212,0.08630309429111283,0.08229419750126499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921733356745818,0.1015870982295013,0.0,0.21874425999614472,0.0,0.0,0.2758722798287932,0.0,0.0,0.10219753752876726,0.0,0.0,0.11015077905341356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05654817180654921,0.08387281817681892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521668228168224,0.07267748681871561,0.050269095772598964,0.1031274033888749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365546715857472,0.20738707688994024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512787151890381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129473533019903,0.0,0.1159981819641126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591690453775502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182590216558126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146829807668855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26154673842054754,0.2376398305488713,0.0,0.0,0.07282931533416816,0.0,0.08217174677545769,0.0,0.0,0.10756775880012344,0.0,0.11254997316734268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736392091163243,0.08270276811438212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659306939867918,0.0,0.16337361068715578,0.11999731742806255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20957600272462684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137978173900335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832369227081185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309335946425258,0.0,0.0,0.06626073782164532
mentalhealth,RiseOfTheFandoms,2019/03/26,"In your opinion do I have ADD? (attention deficit disorder) Before I post this I want you all to know that I will see a doctor about this soon if I can, don't worry I'm not just asking reddit. I just want some opinions on the matter.

(15 M) I never really noticed it until now, I thought it was only a recent thing but I have been trouble focusing on things my entire life.

My earliest memories of this would be when I was about 7, mom used to pack me a sandwich for lunch, I would take a bite or two of my sandwich but never would usually finish it. I had problems eating my dinner at home as well, I would eat in the living room with the tv on cartoons but even when it got to when my parents would turn off the TV in frustration when I still wouldn't eat after sitting for an hour with having taken a few bites, I still wouldn't finish my food most of the time.

I'm better now on the eating part, but I suffer the consequences with my very scrawny body (I weigh about 80 lbs probably.)

I was an A student for my entire life up until 8th grade, last year when I just couldn't do anything anymore. Almost had to take summer school because I had an F in math. Was getting B's on my tests, but it was because I wasn't doing my homework that my grade dropped. That was the year I started to drift off in class and just doodle in my notebooks, on my school work etc. 

I've always felt different compared to everyone else, as far back as I can remember. I've begun to feel it more, from the way I am treated by my peers, etc. Now in high school and I'm having trouble understanding what I am even doing in school anymore, I just move through the days as best as I can, trying to keep up with everyone else and trying not to make myself feel insecure because I am slow. I take a long time to do homework as well.

After someone telling me about ADD, I started searching up the symptoms, I have had lots of social anxiety in my life as well as depression. No matter how much sleep I seem to get, regardless if I am happy or sad I always feel tired? Being tired has seeped into my social life and I feel like I'm being distant towards people I care about when I don't want to be. It sucks.

My mother shows signs of ADHD, she is very angry and aggressive, she repeats words and actions a lot like flicking the lights on and off like 8 times before she leaves a room. No restraint and yells all the time. Sometimes be very hyperactive/excitable.

Do I have ADD? If yes, then what do I do next? I don't know what I am hoping for at this point but I want some confirmation whether or not I do have ADD so I can move forward with myself.",4.870650510204083,4.762057198515773,5.778320384972173,83.63543976113174,68.85157699443414,8.37015306122449,29.088647959183675,7.8658589789855275,1.7287147031539885,2046,66,427,22,32,676,245,539,0.111,0.7909999999999999,0.097,-0.9286,2,0,0,1,0,0,53.0,0,2,0,3,30,22,3,1,25,1,56,20,2,3,4,86,92,40,0,18,21,3,5,3,0,8,8,1,5,0,19,18,10,1,12,3,0,5,14,10,3,1,16,8,70,12,72,62,14,81,0,3,1,0,12,32,1,16,45,311,89,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443832419285889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035478918142413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692314600163957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05374836254532917,0.0,0.13935718626879245,0.0,0.0,0.05781762218471745,0.0,0.06568319381317482,0.0,0.0,0.054025256186358964,0.0,0.12848870652177646,0.0,0.1195714023863465,0.0,0.07373306182632229,0.0621388613575605,0.0,0.07804251986750925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716342925846132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04531159656724053,0.0,0.06051444645407662,0.0,0.0,0.07340627454360155,0.08052352995986135,0.07191362537846002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875722350705699,0.11738567507644446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567159384345763,0.09281153873591197,0.0,0.0,0.13427201962582075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210135580467528,0.05019343572194626,0.06746018504440603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849581253314761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341542881441113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619297953047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479259619945294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423307085472695,0.07047605608892292,0.0697835850982104,0.06919150288819408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06244991523046663,0.0,0.0,0.07722562118093625,0.057270909712685024,0.0,0.07439471753189998,0.0,0.0,0.19850558863848514,0.10297579983284247,0.0,0.0620404688305967,0.062177489774585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946431181831554,0.0,0.0,0.0468987944176832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228713442878867,0.0,0.14934956262420826,0.05164885255660187,0.0,0.10837699084140914,0.0,0.07472182725682515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999096201894998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053435552900965744,0.0,0.0,0.07801491431756001,0.07608424463873592,0.0,0.0487091246558013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641798353651956,0.0,0.06728922624503245,0.0,0.07575167694261589,0.06722889947000404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501006607841428,0.0,0.06937282829349242,0.0,0.07959037254274001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844256575728866,0.05598776388224657,0.06396165448979522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031028943488253,0.14324152407505453,0.059530687721942574,0.0,0.06948849032387472,0.0,0.09946014057013312,0.0,0.11221873290556797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302657313408392,0.1584793104319695,0.0,0.061409942491500474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335464458481828,0.0,0.0,0.055778233702450296,0.163875631738016,0.16150603156350374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540324339393556,0.07642221358859863,0.06863337009417937,0.07314266816704204,0.0,0.06068169174553587,0.07738096684083154,0.17391445787734944,0.1657636090458963,0.05576875954763834,0.0,0.0,0.18951531668957647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05114978833468667,0.07135198231549078,0.0,0.2495518382158654,0.0,0.0,0.09048969179214174
mentalhealth,TouchMyNoodle,2019/03/26,"What can/should I do for my brother? So back story on my brother. He's an Iraq vet, has major anger issues and I definitely thing he has some mental health issues. 

My mother and myself were just talking and she dropped a little bombshell on me. His girlfriend mentioned to her that my brother is constantly angry and gave off the vibe that she's scared. He's also apparently sexually violent(Didn't get details). 

Now while we were talking I could imagine him potentially getting violent with her or worse. He is a gun owner(Nothing against that, I own several myself). Then my mother mentioned that she could also see him taking it out on her or himself. 

We don't know what the best course of action is to express our concern and love.  We feel like he needs help. Unfortunately I'm not close to him and he hasn't really opened up to our mother. 

Any opinions or advice?",4.358484320557492,6.555261085365857,5.383449477351917,77.33036585365856,72.29268292682926,7.3686411149825775,28.787456445993037,8.192908349453996,2.203201742160279,694,28,120,11,14,228,105,164,0.124,0.784,0.092,-0.6966,1,0,0,1,0,0,20.0,5,0,0,1,6,6,2,1,5,0,12,2,0,0,0,26,22,14,0,3,5,6,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,8,13,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,2,28,3,14,17,4,16,0,0,1,1,37,9,0,5,6,88,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784701886371322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921085463410683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241990234366263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404361278155135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19166564725120314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19736507924503915,0.0,0.29164062839996824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923464578201387,0.13047548965305653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083997508584935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941339661288328,0.0,0.0,0.12241733755461907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3812499286469452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037219600947264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922692587423117,0.18304966573114345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648364929720322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840545473568947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542258576442187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752445636198261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700156258340742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828509101911722,0.0,0.14553757482518434,0.0,0.0,0.2063271608486093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731985289229762,0.29359246060511285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213355171686873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612210750341213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,la_xx,2019/03/26,"I really hate how much I overthink awkward stuff I do I do awkward stuff a lot, like say stupid stuff, or, for example, last week I went to get some take out and I was a dollar short, my old aunt happened to be in there and she gave me a 5 dollar bill, I think she meant to give the whole 5 dollar bill to the dude, but I took out 4 bucks and left the dollar like an asshole and it's been 2 weeks and I keep thinking about it like ugh your such a fucking idiot.  And not to mention I gave her a weird ass awkward hug after. Or, one time me and a friend had a little lesbian moment, and we've never talked about it again and it's just weird. I need to figure out how to not care about this shit so much. ",0.6270308123249322,2.2058480849673217,2.3231232492997202,97.8719117647059,81.2222222222222,4.894304388422036,18.11811391223156,5.288315135182226,-0.6621219421101778,539,11,131,2,14,177,93,153,0.215,0.682,0.103,-0.9458,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,10,17,5,3,11,0,6,5,2,2,1,29,22,15,0,1,6,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,8,12,0,1,4,0,7,2,3,11,0,1,8,1,18,6,16,13,5,18,0,0,0,4,12,7,3,4,12,87,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615790462508944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243983338122172,0.1465105053414078,0.0827982977141941,0.15202669186679785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014171360575495,0.0,0.0,0.1564643732767482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086267034003527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291808522903514,0.0,0.0,0.17218698466360075,0.0,0.0,0.2322732719704088,0.15883675013972215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473246449542714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23299936482771536,0.11750954765430592,0.12222812694780633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16629617014260992,0.0,0.10738890273958196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152516743359398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602819376943467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267555396362796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5442587332852759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915585355459272,0.12737874205280916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030928118655268,0.0,0.0,0.09240988960948783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760750670532662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25424324157476635,0.0,0.0,0.1469108421494855,0.0,0.17693520618477745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,damnbrothatsucks,2019/03/26,Finally saw a psychiatrist. Prescribed me some meds. I was prescribed Adderall for ADHD and Lexapro for depression. Would love to know if anybody has had any experiences using these?,5.712999999999997,9.457485300000002,5.428333333333337,69.5025,79.33333333333334,8.333333333333334,37.5,8.841846274778883,4.67,149,9,20,4,4,46,28,30,0.109,0.767,0.124,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,8,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,2,1,3,4,1,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4145023014048671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23454355870712476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970615246480425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33737799501694066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778206590332688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954780316226172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112853595518784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831057094244587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978825210246481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24500678394334915,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FearfulGamer,2019/03/26,"I feel betrayed by my mom. I am diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety/panic disorder, bipolar 1, high functioning autism, depression, and psychosis. I say that to give you context.

I have a really intense fear of a gang raiding my house, and brutally attacking me then raping me. I am obsessed with this fear especially at night.

My mom says when I get paranoid I start worrying about it more in unrealistic ways. I can't clearly figure out if I am being unreasonable or not, so I have to TRUST her. I HATE having to trust someone to tell me what I am feeling or thinking is correct.

I ask her ""Do I have to worry about a gang raiding the house or is that the paranoia talking again?"" She says "" Yes, and if you keep worrying about this the paranoia could take you over, and we might not be able to get you back u/Darth_Debate"" With the fear of getting raped brutally, and put into intense pain I still trusted her, and I tried to relax.

Unfortunately that didn't work. I was neurotically worrying, so much that I started crying. My mom sits down with me, and asks ""Are you okay?"" And I say no. She then says ""if you are feeling this bad about it you can put those extra locks on the door tonight. the world won't end"" This is what makes me livid.

She implied that

If I keep worrying about this the paranoia could take over me, and my entire life, and she might not be able to get bring me to sanity.

She then says

""if you are feeling this bad about it you can put those extra locks on the door tonight. the world won't end""

She went from saying your entire life is at stake because of the worrying you are doing. And then says it isn't a big deal if you worry, and put the extra locks on the door tonight.

She completely contradicted herself or straight up lied to me. When I trust someone that much I expect them to be consistent, and not to be wishy washy with words.

What she did was NOT okay. I even asked her if she wanted to change the words she used. and she said I don't think it matters.

It is hard for me to describe how livid I was. Me, and my mom argued for about 2 hours. I kept telling her that she contradicted herself. I even walked her through what she said to me. She agreed that my quotations were close enough to what she said. I then explained how she said my entire life was at risk because of the worrying, and then saying I could worry, and put extra locks on the door to feel safe. When I point out what she said was a contradiction she then says ""That is the trick of the paranoia"" Fuck you I made valid points, and she is just using an excuse to not face up to what she said. I don't trust her anymore to help me if I start feeling really paranoid. I hope that doesn't end in a disaster because if I get too scared I get psychotic, and that could make me go to the mental hospital again.

I feel hurt, angry, sad, scared, and betrayed. She refuses to talk things thorough logically, and that is what makes me want to throw the table through a window. I feel like she isn't willing to admit that she fucked up even if it costs me massive pain.

Am I crazy, and did I do everything wrong? Or is she mainly to blame for contradicting herself? Or a mix of the 2? If this has bad grammar I am sorry, but that is a weakness of mine.

TLDR My mom said If I worried too much I could have my life ruined, but then she says if I worry the world won't end. I trusted her to be consistent, and she fucked up or was careless. A massive blow to my trust in her, and I have to trust her to get me out of psychosis sometimes, so it matters.",3.1981996684941976,4.570374537166902,4.14548157592758,88.43118679076885,73.61430575035064,7.20508988907306,26.00711462450593,7.750939303291985,1.2645396353436191,2747,93,588,36,55,887,250,713,0.196,0.733,0.07,-0.9971,0,0,0,0,0,0,91.0,1,13,1,1,25,44,11,7,32,3,65,15,1,8,2,108,119,62,0,22,29,5,9,1,0,6,9,18,5,0,40,35,0,5,14,1,1,10,17,30,0,0,20,27,128,14,77,82,10,69,0,4,0,5,92,30,3,23,28,431,168,1,0.08914352073102333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044203209493301004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125005737589137,0.05070681200401665,0.0,0.03427293247050395,0.11164667442458402,0.08151159425607955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04715101246219526,0.0,0.046732642730011015,0.0,0.0,0.17793461907355598,0.0,0.048959985832886514,0.0,0.04595152779741255,0.03838959189117495,0.045239398542809374,0.0,0.0,0.05108309889510077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790940033786993,0.04605454324014457,0.0,0.08831768206541059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0400582242128226,0.0,0.0,0.15046686629459516,0.18029457017884135,0.03184207451098036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236176227144126,0.16300833611588705,0.04275729396541009,0.02533115857234098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03992754250154861,0.044005385640892514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02987551144061715,0.04709251198561798,0.0,0.04426981505410272,0.04389420566261964,0.1028596542854038,0.04771499132635481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792348571230987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592940995886,0.021775510708010083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04217487735792689,0.08925598844811132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0449178510585165,0.094567188261847,0.0,0.2610095352200516,0.0,0.0,0.09829611708338652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04182757772918007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485499114333794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426944082308449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240346498507914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710762203059822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29678565656616235,0.3898977810433343,0.08924821546468115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755310158337373,0.0,0.044082610698452505,0.049894436585422204,0.09464436418890226,0.0,0.035595065403587645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702483354169149,0.0716501852670462,0.07791536627863876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029611497061917093,0.057119568626833664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030261299520991405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699138033577002,0.0,0.0,0.05257915815613928,0.0353789887334692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04131846840418799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03244877239319638,0.4979126483750303,0.0,0.0,0.048732222967523636,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Reddit-User11345,2019/03/26,"I need help with my social anxiety and depression I don’t know how to deal with it.
I need advice",1.09,2.9408134761904776,3.676428571428573,87.40607142857145,80.90476190476191,8.009523809523811,20.02380952380953,8.841846274778883,1.3115523809523808,77,2,17,2,2,27,17,21,0.244,0.633,0.122,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36082287119336665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282472142915497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3806763633891908,0.3180309977408529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24749777852319174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029279188232232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5475823900124703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763997482326892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oftentimesdead,2019/03/26,"Ditched by psychiatrist and psychotherapist TLDR: Psychiatrist referred me to psychotherapy, they won't see me, and now I have no help.

I was referred to CBT therapy in August 2017, I tried to commit suicide in October 2017. few months later I started seeing a psychiatrist, I saw him for a year, then he sent me off to psychotherapy because I wasn't responding to any meds. I stopped seeing him in December 2018. 

3 months later I finally meet the psychotherapist and he's like ""I don't think therapy is going to help you, wait back to hear from your psychiatrist for a med review"" and didn't make another appointment with me. 

so I've basically been completely abandoned by the NHS mental services? my GP is refusing to change my meds until they hear back from my psychiatrist. and I have no idea how long that'll take?? 

I'm on meds that aren't working, I think stimulants could help, but god it's so frustrating to wait for something that isn't guaranteed. my psych will probably tell me I think I have ADHD because of my health anxiety. 

I'm struggling so much in university, I'm only taking one class -since I switched to part time education: 3 classes was too much for me- and I'm having a hard time getting work done for that one class! I've already asked for 2 extensions on assessments!! I also have a mentor helping me, and I'm STILL STRUGGLING! 

not one professional has given me advice on how to speak to people so I don't live completely isolated, how to stop self harming, how to stop binging and purging, how to stop being impulsive, how to manage my time properly and stop procrastinating, how to stop performing compulsions, or stop feeling depressed. all I've been told is ""speak to people"" and ""exercise"". like that's literally fucking it!!

I was supposed to learn all this in therapy but apparently they don't help people like me!! all I have is self help resources, and I've gone through all those leaflets/articles a hundred times! I know in theory how to help myself, but I still! can't! because I have multiple mental illnesses that make it incredibly hard to do so, and I'm not getting any help for them whatsoever!  

I went to therapy 3 times and all they did was give me information I already knew like how to identify negative thoughts/feelings, really basic ass CBT shit, or just talking about my issues as if that would do anything. talking never makes me feel better. then they suddenly stopped seeing me because they ""couldn't help me"" and passed me onto someone else. 

only this is now the 4th time and he didn't even fucking try. I had 1 session where I introduced myself, and in the second meeting he just told me to fuck off. wonderful. 

I just. I don't know what I can do. I have no access to therapy or medication, apparently neither will help me. and I'm stuck. I don't even know why I'm writing this. it's far too long and no-one will read it. and I have no idea how I want people to respond. because there genuinely is nothing I can do to help myself anymore. ",4.749070172595413,6.331866360627178,5.97980957783,75.96606960538045,70.06271777003485,9.451033141560652,31.989952191880725,9.820803871038708,3.2968733165869866,2377,107,433,59,43,796,249,574,0.152,0.742,0.106,-0.9836,2,0,1,0,0,2,77.0,0,2,7,4,32,15,5,2,10,0,51,9,2,14,7,86,100,46,1,5,12,0,4,4,0,6,4,4,0,2,17,20,0,12,16,2,0,5,22,10,0,4,21,13,70,5,57,70,10,55,0,2,5,4,47,15,5,5,39,285,87,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712272346202791,0.054577499611848976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326717416599975,0.04466447364764661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596195426437932,0.058565232144293135,0.04272629176565375,0.0,0.05538974136318515,0.0,0.0,0.0459610763505064,0.0,0.052213670706617116,0.0,0.0,0.0858928067468414,0.0,0.17023296783571673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04939616752249056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059083546539513525,0.0,0.11711859947299677,0.0,0.0,0.04459292726938652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04810486818186052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05715553878366943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046656813016345985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377885940070295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472068311781275,0.0,0.0,0.06118265575022803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490160620849944,0.058360271514870624,0.053577907153838235,0.03174172956749747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006405769081203,0.0,0.0,0.05936759826362745,0.12589753822366026,0.0,0.4117973689768821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260992295835285,0.0,0.05829451963838204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208367286290298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914500734167164,0.0,0.04931795215711884,0.0988537489723298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118440532243608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481539764992004,0.05626457244827682,0.11257047536778324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916036725770615,0.0,0.08211464830518357,0.0,0.0430761674596916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053591079697832215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135393908072758,0.08495525875714678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604817985378144,0.0,0.15488176183512192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021742984371192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558666758442055,0.0,0.03577994053373827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802585393532366,0.0,0.1165307190820106,0.0,0.057330825392813575,0.04620098892487954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732284691412942,0.04299726079428872,0.0,0.0,0.03953202277993618,0.0,0.08920625850976614,0.3735552510431149,0.0,0.11677635775543654,0.0,0.06109254333529586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839868470489107,0.08978273921868597,0.048816726611737166,0.0,0.31935564111268594,0.0,0.0,0.10736227649362773,0.0,0.0,0.1954049683564109,0.0,0.0,0.10673712118500538,0.0,0.07583908829224789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032942698106615174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051774957173138084,0.050397347205943306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605686361070801,0.08132120409421381,0.0,0.0,0.03967534691414658,0.0,0.0,0.035966574516893064
mentalhealth,porcupinemeth,2019/03/26,"I’m no longer suicidal, but why am I still so unhappy? This is going to be quite a long one, as I really want to paint a clear picture of my struggles from the offset. Thank you to whomever may read the entire thing.

So, 2.5 years ago, I (26F) suffered an acute mental breakdown. Now, I had always been prone to bouts of prolonged depression as a teenager, and had also suffered a eating disorder for several years. So, I wasn’t completely free from mental health issues beforehand. But, I’d never suffered anything quite like this pain that would then plague me for another year and a half.

Every day I wanted to kill myself. I’d self harm by overdosing daily on medication of all sorts. I’d cut myself. I’d write suicide notes in preparation for the day I finally took the plunge and killed myself. But, my supportive friends, colleagues and family encouraged me to get therapy. 

I was lucky that the system, although initially quite useless, did see to me fairly quickly. I eventually began to see a therapist and enrolled in cognitive analytic therapy. I also saw a psychiatrist who was so brilliant and a very funny man. The two professionals combined saw me through this extremely difficult time. I go as far as to say they saved my life. 

I tried numerous medications during this time. Antidepressants, antipsychotics, but all of them gave me side effects that were unbearable, and actually increased my suicidal ideation. At one stage, I was so close to taking my own life that I was admitted to a psychiatric facility for the weekend. I don’t think I’d realised how sick I really was until that happened. My poor family were so incredibly concerned, they cried so hard as they left me there. 

After my course of cognitive analytic therapy, I noticed gradual improvements in my suicidal ideation and self harm, but I was still quite ill. So, I then began cognitive behavioural therapy. This really did change my thinking pattern. I was so skeptical about it, but I’d suggest it to anyone who asked now. It helped me tremendously.

Fast forward to today. I haven’t self harmed in almost a year. I also don’t really experience suicidal thoughts (previously, they consumed my every thought). I am such a different person now. 

I went through a period of elation when the suicidal thoughts left me. I was so happy to finally have my life back, a life I could see myself living. I caught up with friends I hadn’t seen in a while, and I worked longer hours at my job again and started to show an interest in my life. I started meeting new people and I met my current boyfriend who I absolutely adore. I can’t believe I’ve found someone so amazing after going through the most difficult period of my life. It all felt so amazing, like I’d reached recovery.

I guess that elation had to end, but the past month or so, I’ve just been so unhappy. I have ended up taking a career break as I’m unsure I want to be a veterinary nurse anymore. The job is so emotionally taxing, and certainly contributed to my mental breakdown. I’m not sure if it’s the only thing making me unhappy currently. 

I’m so lethargic, fatigued, irritable and unmotivated these days. It’s like I just don’t want to do anything at all. All I want to do is sleep. My boyfriend really helps and he motivates me a lot which is amazingly helpful. But I can’t help but feel like I’m letting him down.

I feel lost without a career I enjoy anymore. I feel like I have something holding me down physically but all my bloods are apparently normal. I’d hate to think I’d need therapy again. I don’t know what I’d even say to them? I don’t want to talk about anything specific. I just don’t want to feel so unmotivated anymore.

Has anyone else experienced this dull feeling after the elation of getting better? I know I just need to balance out, but I’m unsure how to do that.

With my time off, I’ve tried to start getting into yoga and pilates. I’ve also tried organising and tidying my life. I’ve written a CV. I’ve tried to contact old friends but I’m so unmotivated to go anywhere that most days I just sit at home and play videogames...

Thank you to whoever reads this. It is so appreciated. If anyone has any advice It would be very welcome. ",4.031031543052007,6.201123993742182,5.496299722479186,76.28159420289856,73.14267834793492,8.937265785129965,31.22927209736809,9.506881200658913,3.2777608278464028,3337,157,590,86,69,1122,348,799,0.197,0.632,0.171,-0.9886,6,0,1,0,0,3,100.0,0,2,6,9,45,47,5,1,34,0,52,17,2,5,10,100,119,69,8,15,22,0,7,5,3,3,14,2,1,5,31,22,1,2,18,6,3,9,15,20,0,4,36,16,93,28,81,75,11,88,0,8,6,0,38,24,0,11,58,387,124,11,0.0,0.0,0.04920954151203149,0.0,0.0,0.04927674456105122,0.04470055076695847,0.0,0.05049542169355018,0.0,0.0,0.1613060235109091,0.04195935793272329,0.0,0.0,0.034292133601439505,0.052877174752550576,0.0,0.0,0.15003029577396393,0.10577932957363158,0.05166848756412155,0.12449153415869445,0.0,0.047142498874137226,0.0,0.0,0.038775300515754535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056814034263515514,0.0,0.04459864131943879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05334514866555932,0.0,0.05287181852066724,0.0,0.0,0.04026190833055373,0.0,0.0553917633266747,0.13008514148884365,0.0,0.04343275742566169,0.0,0.0,0.052685550353555134,0.057793785595622114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515994769019903,0.04212534237350935,0.05672366113147004,0.08932682456677837,0.0,0.0,0.033306601021942515,0.0,0.08497395478315413,0.0,0.0,0.04932734602937223,0.0950762984856007,0.0,0.1274871968217915,0.07205021100957201,0.04841789067916948,0.11048077029590328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552906742609379,0.11687947661387912,0.0,0.07903818090983576,0.0,0.11463545314076365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055551097592657736,0.0,0.04459248728043677,0.05368054866752351,0.045172745596996314,0.04978628700668597,0.0,0.05360161230626904,0.0,0.0,0.13520079557461445,0.0,0.05058245803752718,0.0,0.04966050153231561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263275477915246,0.1000821625135758,0.0,0.11158015266020713,0.0,0.05542679258155374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957830792719904,0.05156509077691016,0.2493268925405039,0.12318058460766225,0.0,0.04452802250018941,0.04462636591686423,0.0,0.0,0.055047098615858776,0.04287128760374678,0.0,0.0,0.03366045764039191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159992612664763,0.1524558636598863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040250402396353545,0.0,0.0,0.07478205987755714,0.03889246146628993,0.04870277386882598,0.0,0.0,0.04940781728499647,0.0,0.05741154803838292,0.05291472225558087,0.0,0.06834136897949589,0.038352055468523764,0.05365795281987554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048138339741710584,0.0349597776986559,0.04403096833129839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21454156441976374,0.1008814231003098,0.0,0.1615243463542478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020325259401072,0.0,0.0,0.1205515266184356,0.0,0.15781928043309967,0.056968230261782174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05046348309359106,0.0,0.04272668876137043,0.038821218488453366,0.0,0.0,0.10707760903463888,0.0,0.08054223892804546,0.0,0.0,0.052717317510046637,0.0,0.3309541485698346,0.05722403608078571,0.047526912237294806,0.0,0.0758297547148669,0.040531364920848766,0.0,0.09285293322170117,0.28833871949355583,0.058549709444338814,0.06700300292572746,0.09693488180834264,0.0,0.12010037119990162,0.08821328184819123,0.0,0.04779896159410716,0.0,0.056026324967474894,0.13694666879567974,0.0,0.049259915429753415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321521999472375,0.2082023273157338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04674639471256018,0.04550258297803585,0.0,0.0,0.04860989142638618,0.0,0.03671150410010447,0.0,0.0,0.07164388068943486,0.0,0.0,0.1298935068707455
mentalhealth,awesometown3000,2019/03/26,"Depression on Linkedin: A personal project Friends-

After taking almost 8 months due to a severe depressive episode, it was time to return to work. Unfortunately it was hard for the average HR person to understand where I had been for almost a year. Telling the truth led to blank stares and unanswered emails.

It was easier to lie and make up even the most ridiculous story. Recruiters were more eager to hear that I'd caught my balls in a desk drawer than accept someone's need to take a mental health break.

It's become clear that many people deal with this same issue. You feel alone and uncomfortable talking about what you've endured. Even if you feel better there's discomfort in talking about the recovery when many people will only focus on the sickness.

So to help normalize the experience of mental health recovery and build solidarity I created a new company on linkedin: Depression. If you are having trouble returning to work after a leave of absence add this company to your resume. The more people who join, the more we can educate the working world about how common mental health issues are. It's a simple way we can all back each other up.

​

Take a look: [https://www.linkedin.com/company/ihavedepression/](https://www.linkedin.com/company/ihavedepression/)

​

Thanks for reading",9.067969696969698,11.100057736363638,7.615454545454547,66.58651515151517,60.27272727272727,9.684848484848484,32.84848484848485,9.888512548439397,3.478630303030303,1082,40,155,21,15,326,141,220,0.127,0.741,0.132,0.2828,0,1,0,0,0,0,46.0,2,4,0,4,11,12,1,1,18,0,12,4,0,3,3,27,24,9,0,4,2,0,3,0,1,1,4,1,0,2,12,9,0,0,4,2,0,2,0,6,0,0,7,6,9,6,30,16,7,25,0,3,2,0,17,9,0,5,12,102,21,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20090727496938351,0.10389883310786796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173882677597328,0.24379385465224485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713808204253722,0.0,0.0,0.1107929649236095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887228108441551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342309413608863,0.2592103396547291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325177258726739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812991296891037,0.0,0.0,0.10144723797889647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750516897964503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986491167314056,0.0,0.0,0.3198989185922596,0.11306528451298163,0.0,0.0672408074375434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094111303988176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062219085960773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424156191758224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669628115970096,0.2034127070193695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032897943391564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007259262977344,0.0,0.0,0.0743842677350902,0.0,0.0968874132868737,0.0,0.0,0.09828999937019788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762960947273359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20864288589165866,0.1751870083468242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034479924298506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333039231935906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499882087932313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22627916854252084,0.16126305720261971,0.08768204940660568,0.09235901573265266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584960295337363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443421348002704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962748264546791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21909733599832765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24379385465224485,0.06460127875551465
mentalhealth,That80ne8guy,2019/03/26,"Im struggling and desperate Ive been struggling with some intrusive thoughts for the past 3 months ever since i turned 19. First i went through believing i was having a heart attack, and had to look up the symptoms everyday to reasure myself i wasn't having one. However that stopped, and passed after going to the doctors (about 3 times), and they reassured me that my body is in perfect condition(i play sports). The next one was me believing i somehow had breast cancer because i had  pimples on my chest, and i ended up spending like a week  obsessing over it (turned out to be chest acne went away after a week) now im struggling with hocd. and I honestly just want my piece of mind back( for context hocd is believing or having a fear you may be gay (or staight if you are homosexual) despite your sexual and mental history proving your not). done some research to know its hocd, and i remembered the exact time it started ( was looking up some old songs one of them being Suddenly I See, and saw a comment about what the song could mean. One of the examples was that the song could be about somebody finding out they were gay all along and its all been downhill since then) now the kicker is that i cant afford a psychiatrist or anything like that so are there any ways i can get past this without becoming dirt poor please. My mind and imagination used to be my sanctuary and i just cant put up with this shit anymore ",6.5741423357664255,6.7419514781021945,6.635465328467156,77.99108120437955,65.24087591240875,9.915693430656935,34.64324817518248,9.673873057562805,3.21337299270073,1131,48,212,21,16,361,157,274,0.106,0.805,0.08900000000000001,-0.7882,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,4,3,2,12,13,2,5,15,0,32,11,6,1,6,50,48,18,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,12,18,0,1,7,5,2,5,5,7,0,5,16,7,29,6,32,24,6,38,0,0,4,3,9,10,1,9,24,157,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994420549742375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200346975992668,0.0,0.0,0.08464002803177144,0.0,0.0,0.11701120403164067,0.096634661387562,0.07908833025730566,0.0,0.06269880652778906,0.11359409474599765,0.0,0.3476435033629571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424753941199013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642410018997753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527536480924396,0.0,0.10525528967007053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109806124266348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303727627883812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573927641519395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400663684351036,0.08748750792737454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373693796126705,0.0,0.058454263774879875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188241287741068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222199807779714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652583498369052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049847843505956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727428085820181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203809218128696,0.0,0.0,0.10365257895634583,0.0,0.2077063159534961,0.0,0.0820970327855707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938633092515117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792790703253552,0.0,0.27878596365181924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963714457859028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290273850822305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339661709267617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116513462652521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196127279828065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557809028070923,0.17016368232439275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280054737468215,0.0,0.0,0.08599049845619068,0.0,0.3225758069227446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690462463824472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165453862933128,0.11994991786168792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237511006496824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883277963158889,0.0,0.0,0.060665918046007024,0.08164066928122317,0.16500645154245164,0.0,0.0,0.1906932637111702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914752679582144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shadow_hide_you,2019/03/26,"My mental state is making me feel crazy, and ruining my relationships I’ve always been a relatively sad person with a hard time socializing with others. But in the past few years I have had such nervousness around other people that I tend to shut them out. I miss my friends that I used to see, but I often feel like it’s too late to rekindle old friendships. Or that they would not like to speak to me. 
I often and easily get overwhelmed, usually when I over analyze or misread a situation. When that happens I become inconsolable and I lose grip with reality. I often have delusional thoughts, and I recognize that, but often not until someone, like my boyfriend, points it out to me. When I get sad about anything I will often sob horribly for hours. If I’m not getting upset, I might become furious about something extremely small. I cannot control if or when I begin to cry, and I seem to be extremely sensitive to just about anything, I have a lot of self depreciating thoughts, which I know is a creator of my diluted negative perceptions. I feel as though a switch flips and I have no control over what happens. I’m not sure what I should do, and I often feel like I am going crazy. I don’t really know of any resources to identify what my problems are, and I’m scared because it is impacting my relationships. 
I’m posting because I feel extremely lost and lonely and I don’t know what to do.  I want to fix this and I want to be happier and I want to be healthier for me and the people in my life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated ",4.53876881396749,5.894220221854308,5.939795304033719,76.92698374473211,70.29139072847683,9.464419024683924,30.945815773630343,9.800150414767053,3.085233112582782,1225,52,230,30,22,414,150,302,0.196,0.682,0.121,-0.976,0,3,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,4,18,21,1,4,8,0,25,1,0,4,1,64,56,28,0,9,13,0,7,4,1,5,1,1,0,2,16,19,0,2,12,0,0,1,9,14,0,0,5,9,44,7,34,42,2,26,0,9,1,0,9,10,1,14,17,170,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069779879870678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109221254075862,0.0,0.0,0.14889390478791234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801776742674272,0.09745621968371593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334702433614492,0.24181371719495245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24557169693094014,0.0,0.0,0.12025346732071328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767699841293171,0.15641834046683348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458033876840987,0.0,0.1715889643930594,0.0,0.06221733110732847,0.0,0.0,0.12069689553273713,0.0,0.0,0.1936172777278236,0.0,0.0980683581852926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781111016320936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049427180416386,0.0,0.12349289739630613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732563606581251,0.21393639077065466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247484866823068,0.11950521299462745,0.0930719780926598,0.0,0.0,0.07307560727011289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032534512609607,0.116135984210387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487590286698515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450655327333667,0.15179276601942748,0.09558960201538354,0.0,0.0,0.10348953615655207,0.0,0.10484706764099104,0.0,0.0,0.10475306915393856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701326751100421,0.0,0.0,0.2350709865092309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960386506694036,0.0,0.0872376336362331,0.09966219391943648,0.11420660487140788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305481465652952,0.0,0.11159627329497353,0.09275805935958448,0.0842794279958112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317916679914874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755891821584207,0.17382230613262695,0.06383592294172924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455150243288253,0.1205715672066432,0.0,0.19371409027756056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553621238605986,0.0,0.0,0.07049849853819301
mentalhealth,throwing031856,2019/03/26,"Personality disorder and work. Hello, this is a throwaway account bc I've been hiding so long my real diagnosis - borderline personality disorder. I know we shouldn't be ashamed but I am. I have now lost 4 jobs in 6 years bc I can't seem to manage my disorder and a career. I feel like I'm not contributing to my marriage, society, etc. I now work in a plant wellness store and absolutely love it but make nothing. 

Has anyone else dealt with this ?",2.514022988505744,4.9957693678160915,4.998390804597701,76.44402298850576,79.45977011494253,8.464367816091954,28.05747126436781,9.150863307647796,2.8700022988505745,353,16,66,10,9,124,63,87,0.131,0.701,0.168,0.7443,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,3,4,5,0,1,3,0,8,1,0,1,0,14,15,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,3,0,2,0,3,2,1,0,2,1,10,3,5,11,1,6,0,1,0,1,6,2,0,1,5,40,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709739851114052,0.18624424207095905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6249704782616362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184501873791767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027209418238784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190807575452753,0.1298561035280669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037809292396287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989571459745937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880335268045406,0.0,0.0,0.1608602087733466,0.0,0.0,0.19842278423948015,0.0,0.1640539901670202,0.0,0.12133249329615825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17441265218975893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174280770009409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068933840911668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547604498055335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634325301056304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646605921229506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705354113113088
mentalhealth,thestillcinema,2019/03/26,Often I get the urge to cry when having a positive interaction with someone. Sometimes I even tear up. I don't know of this is normal or a disorder but I get the urge to cry if I am having a good interaction with people. Like if we agree on a topic or tell a funny joke. It can be something as little as just having a pleasant short conversation with a stranger. Any ideas as to what causes this or is there a name for it?,1.7324999999999982,3.558884522727276,4.120454545454546,85.11318181818183,78.77272727272728,6.672727272727273,22.363636363636363,7.6454224807358475,0.9735181818181816,330,10,69,5,8,115,58,88,0.084,0.6679999999999999,0.248,0.9493,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,10,0,9,0,0,1,0,17,12,10,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,13,11,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,6,2,54,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396041949011214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24768238588472166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5296874704207585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763284851363703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592483086301242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25193597747187224,0.0,0.0,0.20222836193069735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27217944535677263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325056100079101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779226431371273,0.24165165836523225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362327915285731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715261533076706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042884206086168,0.18561525924467165,0.2384601032168001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21073736322099465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WinXP001,2019/03/26,"Mitigating obsessions? Not exactly sure of where to post this but I feel like this obsession of mine is taking over my daily life. For the past 2 years I have been extremely obsessed with the USSR. As soon as I get home every day I listen to hours of Soviet or East German music. I always study the history and am beginning to naturally pick up the Russian language. I have purchased many items of memorabilia and books from the USSR. Just about 15 minutes ago I ordered the Soviet Constitution, which made me review my obsession with the USSR and prompted me to make this post. I knew this obsession turned serious when I actually found myself arguing with someone in defense of the USSR. All day there are soviet songs stuck in my head and it's almost all I can think of. To summarize, what can I do to try and mitigate such obsessive thoughts? I believe these things line up with the base signs of an obsession, which begs the question: How can I be less obsessed?",5.548681318681319,7.026725296703299,6.338131868131871,74.55686813186814,68.01098901098901,10.435164835164835,31.582417582417587,10.560738912317856,3.6058,772,32,138,22,13,254,118,182,0.174,0.8,0.026,-0.9782,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,8,13,2,8,11,0,11,2,1,4,4,30,24,11,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,10,9,0,1,6,2,1,0,1,11,0,0,6,3,20,2,27,17,4,19,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,3,10,98,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.18780182094392672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17059384365893235,0.0,0.19270921557075685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013243739482513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21682337941007127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482265196819617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214602850121576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730766422327042,0.13748513409420288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110096739040513,0.0,0.0,0.1005463157677358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19750752040723685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19304137846813288,0.0,0.18952285126406415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359319554433191,0.09402053903956968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820992745608212,0.12846076277963164,0.1951124129915183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837137185783431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686246283136372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155861870946607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306085579618562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18138028495599548,0.0,0.144697202814839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127854127182696,0.1233131269345407,0.0,0.15278248698895422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065979168768194,0.20932853334067175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393042268618874
mentalhealth,sdossantos97,2019/03/26,"How do I help out my boyfriend? My boyfriend’s mental health hasn’t been great as of lately. He thinks he has depression and needs to see a therapist at the very least, which I agreed with him. He didn’t grow up in a loving family, and as soon as he graduated college he was thrown into the real world because his parents didn’t want to pay for him to go to college. He thinks he’s a failure and it breaks my heart hearing that. He wanted me to leave him and is convinced that he’s going to hurt me, but I love him and I told him I am here through EVERYTHING, even all the really tough times like these. I myself went through some depression myself over the past few months (seasonal depression), and he’s been there every step of the way. Now it’s my turn to help him.

He says he’s not suicidal, but he told me that he’s tired of feeling this way and he can’t do it anymore. Him saying that has scared me, and I’ve been staying on top of him making sure that he feels loved and cared for. I compiled a list of things I wanna get him and do for him. I know during a time like this my best thing to do is to be supportive, but I feel like I should be doing more. I know at the end of the day it is up to him to get the help that he needs and for him to get it together, but I feel like anyone who’s going through a tough time just needs SOMEONE. Is there anything I should watch out for in terms of what he says or his body language? Am I doing okay? I’m really concerned for him. Any advice would be helpful because I feel lost on what to do. I’ve been through this before with friends, but never with an SO. ",3.585183413078152,3.8209892514619916,4.5154173312068036,90.3774162679426,71.69005847953215,7.738649654439127,25.486975013290802,7.520522993642371,0.966773099415204,1252,34,291,13,22,407,158,342,0.077,0.7140000000000001,0.209,0.9946,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,9,23,0,1,15,1,30,7,2,2,3,50,64,22,1,9,8,1,5,4,1,3,2,4,0,0,21,17,0,0,9,0,1,6,6,8,0,0,11,11,42,15,49,47,7,37,0,5,2,3,49,14,0,2,17,191,63,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369657261399804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520429494069757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509099831644756,0.06704420596194492,0.0,0.07890422533680523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689979017399155,0.0,0.08159008033561008,0.0,0.10062416794882513,0.0,0.0,0.106505323823326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775995882156803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061837140491346365,0.0,0.2477538165037129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492461686495452,0.0,0.0,0.06333036788401274,0.0,0.08078626536270253,0.0,0.08617420714119581,0.0,0.09039074500842187,0.0,0.2424087366317127,0.1369988599662524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407961209822793,0.0,0.1502860370112639,0.0,0.16347897707662096,0.0,0.0,0.10571226519921399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192003153656724,0.10806804925097546,0.1136228046458442,0.25707565044870984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264562713644897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539049489043133,0.0,0.10816114086577107,0.10152713539915524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18737599154549894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466853114171497,0.0,0.2596167105184101,0.0,0.06400320357234461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662835229263496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653356130699977,0.0,0.0,0.21328994333810367,0.0739515236319746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064676502827784,0.0,0.0915319687877992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091367944400225,0.1228512782808434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22875201925859245,0.09599644464486347,0.0,0.07640700136984054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124206117401915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219940901796724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488135153679036,0.10880783825454482,0.0903693785624098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132852121923836,0.12740191717024454,0.12287697808353945,0.0,0.0,0.1677319035953742,0.11020436180362572,0.0,0.18324222430205894,0.0,0.0,0.10429407737432213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911420460381081,0.11310953880992265,0.15221624839715706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888527449700853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811312444807982,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brittany0542,2019/03/26,"I sometimes forget time and spend hours thinking about my past abuse and gang rape, what is wrong with me? I've had bad CPTSD since I was 5, tried slitting my wrists for the first time at that age to give you an idea of how long and deep the trauma runs.
Lately, I've been being hounded by memories. I'll be trying to load a bowl but find myself spacing out staring at the counter, standing in the same spot, and then look at the clock and half an hours/HOURS will have gone by of me just remembering my abuse. And there's so much to remember. It's ruining my life, I can't go even an hour without recalling events. My memory seems to be getting worse too, just the other day I kept trying to pronounce 376,000, except I kept saying ""three seventy six hundred thousand-wait, three hundred seventy six hundred thousand-wait, that's not right"", and I almost started crying because I knew I was saying it wrong, I could remember the childhood class I learned it in, the memory was there, I just couldn't access it. That's just one example, but more and more it happens with me forgetting things I KNOW I know. I've had this problem for years, a therapist once suggested it's because I've had C-PTSD for so long my mind start automatically censoring even non traumatic info because it's getting confused, though I don't know if that's a thing. At the same time, I seem to remember more and more of the abuse while being able to make/retain less memories Lately, I feel like I'm more just a collection of memories with likes and dislikes than an actual person, consequences don't seem real to me, reality seems like it doesn't touch me if that makes sense. I can think of an outcome in my life, even if it's bad, and feel nothing. I forget more and more, I feel like I'm losing my mind and it's more than casual dissociation. What's happening to me? ",5.340784034212401,5.8271597213114825,5.962535043953433,80.65703136136851,67.90710382513662,9.316037063435497,30.393917795200768,9.318704503766252,2.500305678308388,1462,53,290,27,23,476,181,366,0.17600000000000002,0.7809999999999999,0.043,-0.9942,0,0,0,0,3,0,45.0,0,1,0,2,16,15,1,1,19,0,21,4,1,2,0,68,49,24,0,6,13,0,4,4,0,1,2,2,0,1,21,17,0,2,21,1,1,3,7,10,0,7,11,8,35,5,35,31,12,36,0,2,2,1,6,11,0,9,25,186,56,2,0.0836342937142221,0.29727888621131715,0.08161500627317221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374766420609639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966228368918646,0.15294806754822232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677517814638899,0.0,0.09186834448118793,0.05393720055318281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16571898667330193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686403549379602,0.11949671228072466,0.0,0.0,0.07644022929181712,0.07113928750871858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739093317501175,0.08022963537009926,0.0475312964708474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791505944998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470887973888886,0.0,0.0,0.09441293760213784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788966179879905,0.0,0.18868625232612632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814675002052814,0.16343796550966644,0.0,0.0,0.1480274362386919,0.07023174288482961,0.09356538184239392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165308097035437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688935903884526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148082896512375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024936044817109,0.0,0.0,0.08906779327757883,0.056672761893290735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983839676781443,0.0,0.07302623934616725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002672402642741,0.09776401378291416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951941361238519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37896540498808895,0.07142322986192848,0.0,0.13301869439260244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045500796521211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918315201334882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271645500671854,0.0,0.11839356710854752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710586111483673,0.11112581698749648,0.10717895681460893,0.08217026893972047,0.0,0.14630348770181054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034658659820182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062047464377907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523049037239737,0.0,0.1828819420902424,0.0,0.053857743093929634
mentalhealth,tonim96,2019/03/26,"My poor life choices Hey, i'm kinda in a bad place right now and i dont really know how to get out of it, so i thought i'd share my story here, maybe there are other people who are experiencing the same thing atm. 
I'm in my early twenties, and i study Physics right now, the problem is there's no way i'm going to pass my exams and advance in my studies but quite frankly i dont really want to. I enjoyed Physics in high school but i really hate everything about classes this year, i stopped attending classes because it was 8hours a day and i hated every single minute of it. So i wanna change next year but the problem is i've already changed one time after failing med school last year (i enjoyed med school but i wasnt skilled enough to make it) and this means i wont get any financial support from my country anymore for my 3rd year (i didnt knew this until a few days ago) but i wanna continue to study. My parents dont know this (that im failing this year and that i wont get money anymore) and i really dont know what to do right now regarding this situation. They don't have enough money to support my studies. 
I'm also quite lonely and don't have a lot of friends atm so its kinda hard for me to deal with this situation. I'm close with my roommate who's thankfully looking after me atm but he's emotionally distant and doesnt like to talk about that stuff, and when i told him he couldnt believe it, that i handled my financial situation so badly, he just told me that it's my own fault (I agree) that I should grow up, deal with the situation and stop moaning about it. On top of that i've spend the last few months trapped in my appartment smoking pot and i feel like i've lost all my social skills, every time i leave the appartment i feel uncomfortable and every time i interract with someone, it ends up being weird. 
I really want to stress that I absolutely want to continue studying but I dont know how and I feel trapped and alone atm with my future collapsing in front of my eyes. Does anyone have some advice? ",2.8872450275074084,4.488386863309352,4.304026661024121,86.04963288192978,74.85131894484412,7.303963887713361,26.65319509098604,8.027739517013583,1.5827811256876854,1610,60,334,25,34,534,188,417,0.206,0.73,0.065,-0.9954,2,5,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,9,18,22,2,1,10,0,24,2,1,3,1,60,56,31,0,9,8,1,4,2,1,3,1,0,0,0,30,22,0,2,10,0,8,6,14,13,0,1,8,7,49,9,42,43,10,53,0,4,2,0,17,17,0,4,31,204,79,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881554207795543,0.062424834668213525,0.0,0.0,0.07293593127291409,0.07771240411322719,0.0563164305354521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04788936005845567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967935887769425,0.0492406845601955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759882056238427,0.04292858428644722,0.0,0.0,0.07934145407344148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899423065991887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083270016702716,0.14520393464112266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162674770092925,0.0,0.4126701699598983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921524695228542,0.06237297034759861,0.14552945695410066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800066176243595,0.0,0.06329073318391007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682240438697624,0.050309475307483635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054407845679326536,0.0,0.11037773117148922,0.0,0.04002243309447945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308426019408614,0.1390542479594628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440468641861996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760678209438972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480831013162408,0.11480662268224305,0.0,0.07456670679831309,0.0,0.0,0.049741125838287874,0.06880924280826636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913672547183235,0.0,0.07687390806378748,0.059870247564276766,0.0,0.0,0.04700721729386522,0.0,0.07074834247377143,0.07671017918603312,0.15644588459568454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056210151146028065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489457275114655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047719754973331065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819527292806222,0.0,0.0,0.0488217327400189,0.0,0.07357597868023545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13476864491093735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980488448772314,0.0,0.0,0.22557061251040286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804199538483384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138124048094613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166290163137145,0.0,0.0717863383409456,0.05966831361326981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177518541496985,0.08066813811379116,0.0,0.08061631674503877,0.0,0.15982805267945002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056602518551767976,0.0,0.06483509604883739,0.0,0.0,0.04678523315873856,0.0,0.0,0.05590718449108916,0.12319086544643365,0.0,0.0,0.13458243610324538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461012196452795,0.05589768843347295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22674722547474754
mentalhealth,Gaara0fSand0,2019/03/26,"What am I doing? Hi, for some context I'm 16 and suffer from social anxiety. 

This past year I made huge strides after I was pur on medication and I'm afraid I'm going back. 

I've started to isolate myself from friends and family and I've started to prefer it that way. My depression (caused by anxiety) has crept back and the self harm thoughts that have lingered for years have come with it. 

I dont know what I'm doing, but I feel so much safer when I'm not with others. What should I do? ",1.96843137254902,3.724463294117648,3.5221568627450983,89.99637254901963,77.82352941176471,6.494117647058824,23.098039215686285,7.3871296695380915,0.8334627450980392,384,12,83,5,9,127,67,102,0.102,0.818,0.08,0.1475,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,0,10,1,0,2,0,18,23,8,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,9,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,3,1,8,1,11,19,2,14,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,9,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307580849877667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324620403478033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220790068654413,0.0,0.1862221060910048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619769491921506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25336431321910313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037976480053109,0.0,0.10930838190763673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702208516323205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286151280725816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880826393666999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455713542898613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177811537883968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891903264057408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20637068490265215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22552552475895565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22037086317670235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30603021254691354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162477971178516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159562856043764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27842892090954513
mentalhealth,parisinsalem,2019/03/26,"how do I break out of this? Hi y'all. I'm a bit younger than most redditors, but I wanted to come here for help anyway. Last May, I experienced a very sad few weeks. I don't want to say I was depressed because I had no idea if that was the case. But anyway, I got better over summer and through September. But then high school started (please don't attack me I'm a freshman) and ever since I've just been feeling constantly stressed. There's always something I have to stress about next. It leads to me enjoying pretty much nothing. I haven't been happy for more than a day at a time since winter break. I also haven't made any new friends, and I don't really have any meaningful friendships I can lean on. I'm exhausted all the time. I really just want to be happy, but I'm not sure where to start,",2.3608571428571423,4.032193921212127,3.667034632034632,89.7634090909091,76.45454545454545,6.896103896103897,23.300865800865804,7.7094869923839395,0.9690865800865808,627,19,135,9,14,205,105,165,0.149,0.636,0.214,0.9289,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,2,11,12,1,2,7,0,16,1,0,3,3,27,29,11,0,4,8,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,7,3,16,6,17,20,6,24,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,3,14,85,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160554527840566,0.12075462967645882,0.0,0.0,0.1973783250209386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509927660340076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846612328538578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835021034490152,0.15843760608150415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501130609819894,0.0,0.1568272748090008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359284710744108,0.0,0.1249949188253188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312727882590914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337895525183548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121222901608501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606876252754238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089739736041387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727342603616652,0.15333126566203034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16382710899592345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829526881687245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731965129417542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066826933240237,0.0,0.0,0.14016147320881314,0.15434081082662146,0.0,0.0,0.13925020293720825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930235577449586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764308054492215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859400485490064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115408272945523,0.0,0.14687303637132545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24009581892970985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117233936152804,0.0,0.0,0.20543874934645606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324776519047787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677746680685704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924571310493453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974233602453666,0.2567933370167334,0.0,0.11640956099035744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VerticalFiddler,2019/03/26,"Today is the day I’m supposed to kill myself I made the plan and had everything worked out. The scenario keeps playing in my head. This is what I wanted to do. I didn’t have any other choice. But last night, I told my friends. They were silent. I couldn’t believe that I said it out loud. Why did I say it? Wasn’t this my only option. So why am I still here? This pain is still here, the hurt is still here. Because I let it continue. This is the day I was supposed to die. Why did I say something? ",-0.7149460916442045,1.4256234622641486,1.0553099730458229,100.98207547169814,92.67924528301887,3.783288409703504,17.005390835579515,5.288315135182226,-0.8276420485175202,381,10,91,2,14,123,63,106,0.15,0.804,0.046,-0.9176,0,0,1,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,1,2,7,5,1,0,5,0,17,2,1,1,0,9,23,3,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,10,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,10,4,16,2,6,11,0,12,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,9,63,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142255054554272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023930834034927,0.0,0.0,0.18924491127141765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21665378438541047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743265630420684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096079754985642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977337065845035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723858989588698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798155881159929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929964395704645,0.18583415491929128,0.0,0.0,0.13691814308546246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176092413218344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893747782464188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762866721272245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774891676506275,0.17873215046311566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15977813829388107,0.26715331198685194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293116770095931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4024236895986657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921612261834445,0.16050273767023976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990731841678852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4547009760841023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222843162983417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yanoitsathroawayyano,2019/03/26,I desperately need to talk to someone I have so much going on. I really want to tell someone everything. The situation and the isolation are breaking me down. Even if it's a stranger I just want to talk to someone. Nothing will solve what's going on but I want to talk and get it out.,0.903201970443348,3.336707448275864,3.3069458128078817,86.11120689655175,86.58620689655174,6.762561576354681,25.52709359605912,7.957251820313856,1.8212334975369464,224,10,46,5,7,77,37,58,0.093,0.8240000000000001,0.084,-0.1188,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,10,5,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,10,9,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,0,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873839632843635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887825967715894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974431625854236,0.0,0.2387565594077781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441353679731973,0.1557520542956965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155205746419616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456569024514814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361090040592739,0.0,0.0,0.5339331031051304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5064992882116589,0.18359607126297176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716850986720508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bringmepeonies,2019/03/26,"How to get better at accepting change and moving away from the people you love? I'm currently in a city where I met some truly wonderful people but sadly, in the next few months I will go back to my home country and have to pick up where I left off. I created a little life for myself here and it breaks my heart to leave all the lovely people I've met the past few months. I have abandonment issues and feel my worries are heightened by this, so it makes the pain even worse. I've been overanalyzing situations and on the verge of tears when I think about this happening in a few months. Also, this isn't the first time this has happened to me and realize it's a part of life, but damn, it is just so hard to deal with at the moment (or in the future). I  just want to enjoy the rest of my time and let these people know how special they are to me. Thanks for listening. ",7.702863128491617,5.27942025698324,7.836808659217876,78.72884427374305,64.3072625698324,11.184636871508381,30.754888268156424,9.516144504307137,2.3302899441340794,682,15,148,10,8,223,109,179,0.147,0.6990000000000001,0.154,-0.1529,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,2,14,11,1,0,14,0,10,6,1,4,1,27,27,16,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,9,8,0,1,6,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,3,3,16,7,27,22,7,31,0,2,0,2,8,15,1,3,13,107,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170791580386166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312408547123517,0.10741094253037366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354210118239163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477706844660707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401151449991967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226217103840123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063011653833688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118817980548335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729808700770078,0.0,0.07938753475452145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470501079221466,0.0,0.12513241978064768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553017116996885,0.0,0.0,0.14011779202346553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579729166771582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676850924986779,0.0,0.0,0.14790872442729694,0.1517707042729664,0.14283976986230768,0.19733059941129816,0.0,0.14000341245438422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521465572845487,0.0,0.09324238453520747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344913076969625,0.1484655364949081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855907143803335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863717907979707,0.0,0.0,0.1512677774292832,0.1333473725472135,0.3873664547604755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570144234956706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128605335631126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950600752381946,0.0,0.0,0.16290562327018746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239121265542328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514849622091302,0.0,0.14185927495615513,0.14235333388672816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emmyhikes,2019/03/26,"just found out my best friend is on a 72 hour hold.. what do I do? I just found out that one of my best friends (he's like a brother to me) is on a 72 hour hold (suicide watch). i think he checked himself into the hospital, which is pretty great (he's mentioned to me before that he's almost checked himself in; i'm just glad he got help instead of... well, the other thing he was thinking of doing). he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 6 or 8 months ago, and he's been dealing with severe depression on and off for a few years, plus some substance abuse (which he has been doing better with as of the past couple of months).

what I want to ask is, what should i do? I was thinking of going to visit him on the last day. we're the kind of friends that are always there to support each other, even if it's just sitting there with him and not saying anything, and giving him a hug. he doesn't have to talk with me about this if he doesn't want to, but I just want to be there for him. would you recommend this? I'm not going in to ask for an explanation or anything; just to be there for him. also, if you were in his situation, what would you want a best friend to do/say (if anything)?",4.234578313253014,4.094352698795183,5.053477911646588,88.39804819277111,70.20481927710844,7.764497991967873,27.443373493975905,7.03164865440522,1.1193151807228916,918,27,208,7,15,299,121,249,0.034,0.77,0.196,0.9869,0,0,0,0,1,1,39.0,0,3,0,4,16,16,0,0,12,0,25,3,0,0,0,45,43,14,1,11,15,1,0,1,4,3,2,1,0,0,15,14,0,2,5,0,2,3,4,1,1,1,9,2,23,15,42,29,6,24,0,1,1,1,36,11,0,8,10,151,38,0,0.0,0.13036831433273532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975355222013612,0.0,0.1101797906100716,0.0,0.0,0.08799146189151129,0.0915543056401687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716375209137731,0.0,0.2057275879904743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362796926238756,0.0,0.3464111004063081,0.09731315824810917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174680873391842,0.0,0.07096065925395105,0.11343675691083345,0.09476922774938784,0.11167878199649206,0.0,0.0,0.12610464438011354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267419903534655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412858318019725,0.3400375935884592,0.0,0.0,0.10555141459284363,0.12506589508443808,0.0,0.08800155313460775,0.12130916743820808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375121767043705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167160299651706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457997807383748,0.0,0.08968965600792411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05375541213088631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565081186628909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455960829344149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050366947175258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194071612892424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750015601549776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243033025798305,0.0,0.0,0.12367904782768588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035565987301028,0.12486146469887754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884384593760097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309946709035625,0.21150957101165133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595956856376856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893075820047664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563252173783342,0.0,0.0,0.07085612372683023
mentalhealth,Skeraxis,2019/03/26,"Will therapy help my low-self esteem and anxiety? I'm a 20 year old college student and I've struggled with low-self esteem and anxiety for years.
I grew up in a rough area, my dad was always critical of me (and still is), I can't remember the last time he ever praised me for anything I did. My parents in general never took an interest or cared about anything I was interested in, disconnecting us even further. 
I made some bad friends who constantly made me feel like shit, I was bullied, a lot. 
I grew up without being close to anyone really, I can barely talk to new people, I've never been in a relationship yet.
It's made an anxious, pathetic people pleaser.
I constantly make elaborate excuses to get out of things because I can't say no, I put others feelings before mine, I try to actively avoid compliments as much as posible even though I would secretly like just a few...

I really want to fix myself, but I don't know if therapy is the right thing for anxiety and low-self esteem...and, I don't know if I could make myself go to therapy in the first place, some help would go a long way, thanks.

(I'm sorry this is a lot, I just needed to get it off my chest so badly)",4.299541139240507,5.076099552742619,6.069575421940929,77.92942642405066,70.35021097046413,9.806856540084393,30.424314345991558,9.978442167317967,3.0070086497890305,922,37,181,23,16,319,139,237,0.106,0.7659999999999999,0.128,0.7096,1,1,0,0,0,0,36.0,1,0,0,2,10,14,1,2,12,0,18,2,2,5,3,40,38,13,0,7,7,2,3,2,1,3,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,1,6,0,0,6,8,5,0,1,9,4,29,9,26,24,6,36,1,0,0,0,14,14,1,7,17,120,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251005250992212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275741134715236,0.11202391795016464,0.0,0.06933580864590251,0.0,0.1632024181899101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16559090094552756,0.06044774015856583,0.0,0.08437886788851996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110144047243952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143160343276059,0.0,0.07917214023699076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099005965028315,0.08969697212771206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027775278139088,0.07084077291271502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434645632322357,0.0,0.0,0.07661168829295822,0.0,0.1036152565794042,0.0,0.11271117724571478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293130891243676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899279187477648,0.08082960353493034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689029579982868,0.0,0.0,0.08775453144519757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16860659293332225,0.0,0.2814861426667631,0.13238172671135007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728948832160689,0.07352676484219156,0.15295844340463816,0.0957704938130564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040529866747786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010676494812563,0.0,0.0,0.1374917651636281,0.0,0.10360233665052754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968438299575418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705039310361868,0.0,0.0,0.10646200646272228,0.11233029630751903,0.08468311321327744,0.0,0.07885695717280572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103402377246061,0.0,0.10178753506093194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100283213447364,0.0,0.0,0.07919025326692374,0.0,0.0,0.10366480447366264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970200719658617,0.0,0.0912942996900336,0.3401983832670087,0.0,0.13175657498354448,0.0,0.0974253642804935,0.0,0.057821686476049634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101717290911912,0.06732393791337192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927870042927514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05848783818397819,0.07870953589675624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558784718592628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088252654337513,0.0,0.0,0.1277131085965064
mentalhealth,KA23_,2019/03/26,"I have recently been diagnosed by my doctor as having anxiety and OCD but I'm unsure if this is the right diagnosis? For as long as I can remember I have suffered with social anxiety which caused me to drop out of college and would cause me a lot of distress. After social situations I will sit anywhere from minutes to hours and replay social situations in my head. This can be from thinking ""Did I insult anyone?"", ""What will they think of me?"" Or ""Have I revealed too much information about myself?"", which can be about anything in my life, even if it isn't something bad. Over thinking is a big part of my life, from past, present and future. I'm forever over thinking scenorios in my head or every aspect of my life. 

I've also always had a weird thing that is hard to explain involving numbers and letters for as long as I can remember.  I can read a word off literally anything and trace it on the roof of my mouth using the tip of my tongue but I will change the order and reassemble it and add more letters to make it even if it's an odd number. It's a bit of a weird concept to explain, even my family don't understand it. I do it with numbers as well like say 1 to 4. I'll trace it in my mouth as '1,3,4,2' and then reconnect it making it '1234'. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I didn't tell my doctor this part as I was unsure of how important it was.

I didn't tell my doctor but when I was younger around 14/15 I had undiagnosed bulimia and I would sit in the mirror for hours pointing out issues with my body and sit Googling pictures of what I wished I'd looked like. The bulimic behaviour stopped after almost a year due to the fact that I didn't want to damage my teeth, which is another thing I absolutely obsess over and go out of my way to make sure nothing happens to them which includes spending lots of money on oral hygiene essentials and I will obsess and panic if I think there's something wrong with my teeth which can happen on a daily basis. I have horrible thoughts of if something was to happen to them, thus making me avoid this things. And say if I knock my tooth on a cup, I will repeat this act to determine if I would have don't damage. This is with many other things in my life as well. 

However, since stopping making myself sick I've stuck to a rather strict eating pattern of eating two meals a day but I'm not anorexic, just very skinny. I stand in the mirror for hours obsessing over my body from what my teeth looks like to the size of my nose. This caused my to bleach my hair so much that it's all almost fell out. Anything I dislike about myself I will go out my way to change including spending lots of money on the particular area and it often changes what I spend time obsessing over. At the age of 20 I have already got myself into debt around 3 times totalling around £12,000 which was spent on clothes, drugs and insignificant things. 

I've had two very unsuccessful relationships in the past three years. The first being controlling and sometimes abusive which didn't help with my anxiety however whilst I was with the second I ruined the relationship by spending lots of money on drinking, drugs and buying clothes. I smoked marijuana without him knowing for fear of rejection as I was always paranoid that he would leave me for someone better. I would try and buy affection by spending absurds amount of money on him. 

Since January 2018 to current I have smoked weed almost everyday to make myself feel numb and to try and use it as a coping method. 
I find it hard to drink and enjoy it because I end up regretting it in the morning due to something always going wrong. The last time I drank I nearly got arrested for trying to runaway from the Police. When I drink I usually hurt myself or others around me when I do, or I at least think I do and dwell on it making me embarrassed and ashamed of what I've done. 


Apologies for the essay😂",6.237636599152143,6.100825827720211,6.675266132830902,78.45460197833256,65.98186528497409,9.557041921808764,31.92369288742345,9.157702336890667,2.622887564766839,3097,111,597,49,44,1009,319,772,0.17600000000000002,0.767,0.057,-0.9984,4,1,12,0,0,2,59.0,0,0,3,3,23,33,1,11,32,0,58,32,13,16,4,120,97,60,0,16,19,0,4,3,0,11,12,2,0,0,50,43,8,4,18,4,13,5,9,25,2,5,24,9,89,8,125,59,14,91,0,7,2,0,24,42,0,19,39,429,139,5,0.0,0.06365207367360028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138519973544976,0.0,0.05928383145295934,0.042961658617993684,0.13410363026255745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056332456307794064,0.1232921074137988,0.0,0.0,0.037563841672453205,0.0,0.13262648659848514,0.19129674552445225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485582923885226,0.03274858092980711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04751295857373845,0.05865077582688845,0.1193466031544515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556262725862886,0.1704930305277201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025406404058301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034646402646824566,0.0,0.0,0.054526946181689635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649609775032539,0.0,0.10995301387508387,0.0,0.15788203870869552,0.12460149326400567,0.10994253349158707,0.0,0.0,0.04758196202397619,0.0,0.0,0.1064491052487181,0.0,0.04526330706513024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050644549897104166,0.06045245947002799,0.02716358042340489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910115718461421,0.04569611277109262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159476681946896,0.0,0.08593317129527044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251920718929284,0.0,0.09624915588074777,0.0,0.11026904114149436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036008887318240236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871676460876172,0.0,0.05751077264322903,0.0,0.0,0.056072064606901666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02952434000107893,0.04379079856325753,0.0,0.05688409885496019,0.0,0.0,0.15178243700611935,0.078737923493671,0.0,0.0,0.14262748454045138,0.0902263082851999,0.0,0.0,0.18269092076864013,0.0,0.0,0.2510201022919415,0.05446592274313633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898406048292902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051547941415610345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303147749706688,0.0,0.1163519087623128,0.10256792020072346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0507848845533752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05373678137741435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053044234233473535,0.11535516879368575,0.18257048765658668,0.045878502309238886,0.0,0.08544416837015574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887918974094818,0.1207721048554179,0.0,0.16428918515874494,0.04551868247670544,0.16543203032689555,0.053132672372474606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982840196930672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050632578604677264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391121722764928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784533568816702,0.20653826607505152,0.0,0.04264946040724919,0.09397761640509468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942163049367233,0.0,0.10495765126098623,0.05592674997046003,0.0,0.09279753903115943,0.05916746125662507,0.08865295406635035,0.03168677103814027,0.08528443245358325,0.0,0.0,0.09660549715308647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177792860815154,0.051786325531158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19081370163710035,0.117473679343892,0.0,0.06919072676163987
mentalhealth,HulkNessa,2019/03/26,Diagnosing autism in adults I am 32 test old female and my family wants me to get tested for autism. I really can't think of any positive reasons for doing this at my age. Reaching out to this forum hoping for some more insight. Thanks. ,2.419565217391302,5.013882695652175,4.158869565217394,81.63178260869569,80.73913043478261,7.1582608695652175,20.069565217391304,8.238735603445708,1.3386747826086958,188,5,34,4,5,63,39,46,0.0,0.774,0.226,0.8854,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,8,8,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,9,8,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,2,22,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432495974597613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630599576491479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372095712005457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868845093719713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35527875472236625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753480328160392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291530336798437,0.3677771878451907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32932390401320466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292009712172889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098188247719268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheRealPikzel,2019/03/26,"Suggestions for a video game touching on the topic of mental health Hi there.

Before I start, I'd like to say that I know this is a sensitive topic, and I don't want this to seem like promoting something just for profit. I just want to know what you would like to see in a game dealing with the topic of mental health, so that I can be respectful of the fact that this is a difficult and broad topic, and provide an accurate picture of illnesses like depression and anxiety, to try to spread awareness and let people know what it feels like.

I don't have any mental health problems myself, so that's why I'm asking you to tell me what it's like.

So, what would you like to see in a video game about mental health that accurately portrays what it's like to have these problems like depression and anxiety?",8.915256064690027,6.600916320754718,8.556621743036839,74.17245283018869,61.893081761006286,12.10458221024259,35.921832884097036,10.608840637214634,3.525470080862533,641,21,125,12,7,206,77,159,0.14,0.6829999999999999,0.177,0.7619,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,1,7,16,0,0,9,0,11,5,0,0,1,21,23,9,0,6,2,0,2,9,0,2,5,1,0,0,17,7,0,0,5,5,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,5,11,11,20,19,0,5,0,2,2,0,12,4,0,1,10,80,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541562244318095,0.0,0.16967598684894433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367628148896436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943675059947415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433275678347375,0.19103555781915346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056074237978870636,0.0792267925583567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4715249279054082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828427815756333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340249231726325,0.0,0.4876200770803378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44704339433074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688391239408608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122321373552748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881919201447862,0.0,0.0,0.17674546048122194,0.10095895327875752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537603376730503,0.0,0.0,0.0784954029489714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969312561456606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529364014486976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082307356240222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006976112787022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575599791846114,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Marcus9T4,2019/03/26,"Finding a therapist? London Hey all, first post here. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with depression and other issues, I’ve been here before and been able to pull myself out but I just feel in a bad place and I’ve never actually tried getting help. I really want to go and speak to a professional, just to be able to talk to someone openly really as I don’t have anyone I can open up to.

Has anyone been to therapy? Do you have any advice for finding a therapist? If anyone is from London and can recommend somewhere that would be great I just don’t know what to think looking at places online.

Thanks and hope you are all doing alright.",2.701666666666668,4.922951496062994,4.332775590551183,82.8488221784777,77.34645669291339,7.067979002624672,22.394356955380573,8.07648339933343,1.3516199475065616,508,15,95,9,12,170,80,127,0.066,0.75,0.184,0.9523,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,1,5,7,0,1,5,1,18,0,0,0,3,27,27,9,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,10,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,4,3,8,4,17,20,3,14,0,1,1,0,6,8,0,3,3,69,11,1,0.3020563324150323,0.0,0.14738170414364424,0.0,0.0,0.14758297608367554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270433199760644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168072161762032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610221033255908,0.0,0.0,0.12851384569254312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008033825079385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636437872317071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760740156154873,0.1284644810233388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890598338574356,0.0,0.08583278730118749,0.0,0.0,0.1665090864200508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012309962717866,0.0,0.0,0.1500050464944268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763416717120707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300113041988448,0.0,0.17036634980596246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268256221986826,0.0,0.0,0.12839874609129742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164822323703498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155845779605266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464323518567626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350502113950308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796567512270454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788743105059472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139071915234367,0.0,0.13904644416982068,0.17271387029349358,0.3507106829236395,0.0,0.0967727506557058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253821110570477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908032543405159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072860760640415,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gojira062,2019/03/26,I'm having trouble getting out of bed I've gone weeks without going to classes. I do have ADHD but I hate using it as an excuse. This morning I woke up and it felt like a weight was weighing me down and my body down. In highschool I considered myself a very punctual person and infact prided myself on it. What can I do?,2.0536363636363646,3.9597834545454593,4.2545454545454575,84.1518181818182,78.0909090909091,5.612121212121212,24.63636363636364,6.42735559955562,0.9905636363636368,252,9,47,2,6,87,52,66,0.107,0.82,0.073,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,3,0,6,3,1,1,0,8,14,5,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,4,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,4,2,9,2,10,10,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,37,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681930540589554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34030416888478565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941599302959965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006387625887972,0.0,0.17411516916744085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30247353839980273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967521993930685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675074521735058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646023310247376,0.0,0.25278448699279266,0.0,0.0,0.24574876466393525,0.3730719192337045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953264190799109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abrickofcheese,2019/03/26,"Who do I go see? Hi guys. So a few days ago my girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me. It is completely my fault, I didn't try and get better, I just kept suffocating her. To say I'm the jealous type is putting it mildly. I'm incredibly paranoid, jealous, I would get anxious when I wasn't with her. I've based my happiness, my sanity on her and it pushed her away. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm dying, I've almost had so many panic attacks and I've never had an issue with panic attacks. I've barely eaten in 3 days, simply because my stomach is so knotted up. 

I just want to get better, for myself and for her. I can't stop my mind from racing, from thinking about her moving on and being with another guy. I know she deserves to be happy, I want her to even if it means it's not with me. I know there is a good chance of getting her back, but if I don't find a way to get better, it just won't last.

Who do I talk do? A therapist? A psychologist? A behavioral specialist? I don't know who specifically to see.

I'm so sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, I just thought someone here might be able to point me in the right direction. ",0.5605714285714285,2.5155451387755154,3.1626122448979617,89.8431020408163,83.3265306122449,6.042448979591838,21.228571428571428,7.24861992348623,0.6432334693877548,889,28,197,13,25,310,128,245,0.158,0.728,0.114,-0.8768,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,3,15,15,4,2,10,0,22,2,1,0,1,37,44,15,1,6,10,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,2,10,10,1,2,7,0,0,4,9,9,0,1,7,3,35,6,27,31,1,23,0,1,2,0,18,9,0,6,9,132,45,1,0.11449629419616696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149405649382197,0.0,0.2293029993640618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005934758047787,0.0,0.12934822236723406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26051212773969484,0.10757303738482746,0.08804058280239155,0.0,0.06979587822580229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037880033215629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004718608152465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14768127542887852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882907674203134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562372247629988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464753862003437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990979402861327,0.0,0.06507088255981687,0.09603405933186053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267386646718716,0.0,0.2437668684435184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950438406967875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18877250686031108,0.09332976138669476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608127141093465,0.0,0.12472003011844356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146247444279562,0.1156086179136035,0.0,0.0,0.12169144084537968,0.0,0.0,0.08830660055672535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758565213470686,0.0,0.0,0.26867346326896785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823600648822618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115100399755804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777920964640363,0.0,0.09105204868954092,0.0,0.0,0.18247744517832631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701233851789394,0.0,0.0,0.1281692274029374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957240287526724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202778423233827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293902236285404,0.0,0.07336460216317305,0.0,0.09089726823158786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773546802505753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506576162718287,0.09088182896910056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133488233779214,0.12518372377412695,0.0,0.07373185955387013
mentalhealth,Quelquech0se,2019/03/26,"I feel like I have too many problems and people aren't going to take them seriously So I've been struggling with anxiety/DPDR for around 7 months, and all of a sudden I've started to have a really toxic relationship with food and healthy eating (not going to go into detail but basically I intentionally stop myself from finishing my meals/eating things I want). I also feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body (I don't think I'm trans but something is wrong in my mind).

I feel like people are going to see me as one of those attention seeking people like ""I hAVe dEpreSsION ANd sChiZophREniA anD mY LIfE suCKs"" if I tell people about my problems. I've told about 5 people about my DPDR (I'm getting psychiatric help for that) and one person about the food thing. I'm worried that if I reach out to people about the other things I'm feeling they aren't going to take me seriously or think I'm trying to be edgy or whatever.

I know people who tell everyone about their mental health to get sympathy points, and I never want to be like that. I don't want sympathy.

I was thinking about talking to my dad about the 'trapped in the wrong body' thing (he's very good at giving advice), but I feel like he won't see me in the same way if I start talking about all these things that I've never mentioned to him before.

I genuinely don't know what to do. I feel trapped.",4.362679600461007,5.345037645985402,5.365597387629659,82.27938340376491,70.35036496350365,8.104187475989244,26.46484825201691,8.371475516178862,1.674265693430657,1081,33,214,16,19,356,130,274,0.18,0.684,0.136,-0.9333,0,3,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,3,0,13,17,1,1,8,0,16,7,2,1,4,46,52,18,0,8,9,1,6,6,0,1,2,0,0,1,14,12,3,1,12,0,0,5,9,10,0,2,3,8,32,7,37,46,3,23,0,1,2,0,18,9,1,5,14,133,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107000865356258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634509259078272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385422666630674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059498906222085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843053013172344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145549186967966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697827271759373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927423754904032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516900393877948,0.2370737467366657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006372028369617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668897898187419,0.07958520319715112,0.23574754331154715,0.0695850207376846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818527303747345,0.0,0.0,0.055608024458793065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118805623733194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859887723589888,0.2431877628861213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411096786478194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083606701269808,0.0,0.08376848933536901,0.0,0.06621988728453747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797161077571031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243509334712126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4026103294895374,0.07243966734086034,0.0,0.0,0.07842639172442725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876784341510788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053147910939920884,0.0,0.0,0.08907069234097298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13222076516639464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386859657300414,0.0,0.0,0.11744258903962215,0.0,0.0,0.0693603766433683,0.0,0.08673043288070882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12475497165433368,0.13336425261627768,0.1450257881727116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27558304000143163,0.15947708755999762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927423754904032,0.0,0.05632610130417205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845276270961972,0.14680032098769036,0.06585178214366592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425246021376458,0.0,0.0,0.27211945664218884,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hayleygg123,2019/03/26,"( Request ) ( Question ) about possible dyslexia ( 19 F ) I thought maybe dyslexia but I’m not sure, to start I can’t spell words ( sometimes easy words ) very well. For instance without autocorrect on I’ll spell things like this. I also mispronounce words very easily and struggle with the pronunciation of more complex words 
-vaccume 
-spinnich 
-beutiful

I also take time to get my own left and right correct and it is even more confusing when someone says “ my left/ “ same goes for clockwise/counter clockwise and I never really got that down until age 14-15. Same goes for AM/PM which honestly still can confuse me to this day as I’ll set and alarm and have to double check in my mind that the alarm is set correctly.

I also get my numbers backward, I used to have a cashier job and if their total was 15.76 I’d catch myself saying 15.67 or just totally missing the mark and saying 15.43 after seeing two different numbers before reading out the total. 

Months are another thing, you might ask someone “ what month is October “ and they could probably say “ the seventh “ month with ease however I have to count the months out on my fingers because if I try to do it in my head it confuses me a lot.

When it comes to directions I can think of how to get somewhere easier if I think of it backwards, as if I was there and worked my way home. I also do not do well with street names but rather landmarks ( ex: take a left at the McDonald’s with a broken arch and then a right at the bridge with a cat graffitied on it ) 

As a last note I read well but fast and don’t really remember much about a book I’ve read except big details. ( like the group of friends had powers and I remember one bit about a giant cat but not really much else about the book outside of small irrelevant details )

I’m bad at remembering names and phone numbers as well, took me forever to remember my ss number.

I’m wondering if this is dyslexia and if there are any ways to surely test it  so I can know if I need to visit a doctor. Please feel free to ask any questions and I’ll answer them truthfully.
",4.8635501595178985,5.983892511166253,5.512544310528185,81.1756296526055,69.29776674937965,8.933321517192487,30.273750443105282,9.23628265651192,2.5798728110599085,1634,64,314,32,28,529,219,403,0.076,0.7879999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.9792,4,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,3,2,22,20,0,6,20,0,22,4,3,2,9,84,46,42,0,10,19,1,2,2,1,1,1,4,1,0,16,24,0,0,14,5,2,4,7,8,4,2,6,7,33,13,49,38,13,47,0,1,1,0,20,22,0,16,19,205,49,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543638928747657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815071139924044,0.08338215598854196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867826101557616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639468604304223,0.0484737833651816,0.0,0.06766444786683715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681368538460106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849820863579707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634891091765956,0.0,0.0,0.05128290046780114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830799829695972,0.0,0.08139062782944657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642756322167656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05252126678204912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040206979218093776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143585139513984,0.0,0.12463551542826393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635982661077479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816089958773456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976361116316122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890991269323683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04370132752560449,0.06481824930043324,0.0,0.0,0.25919148311073875,0.0,0.0,0.07769751518367916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676038462178396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079887093495463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435663856955937,0.08029108942167269,0.0,0.25388386175473165,0.0,0.1169105997404344,0.05896201348724839,0.06132962481328711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388384227585797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728751296657797,0.0,0.08964524193161001,0.0,0.0,0.08573446983163274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815799841489147,0.0,0.2386202722628553,0.0,0.1528249000445038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603161629714447,0.13581685184000605,0.0,0.2529454400647476,0.0,0.0,0.06336600649962175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347516558457059,0.0,0.07864590089313753,0.0,0.056283654470247586,0.0,0.06350363423719761,0.0,0.0,0.08313007668224888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989062590310598,0.0,0.11957613971996338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565721160025203,0.10190458010787516,0.0,0.06312886377745906,0.046367918745963264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834805924795361,0.05398789058355353,0.0,0.07767809024531819,0.0,0.0,0.06867851485626039,0.0,0.13122229935112406,0.0,0.12623628217779412,0.0,0.0,0.2859869837365783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665306568417808,0.08623449918973669,0.057890467404392736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HelpMe89012,2019/03/26,"How accurate is mental health portrayed on TV? Hi. So i have thought that I have been depressed, but I realized that I've been like this for the past like 5 years (im 21 now). I was watching shameless and the way they describe bipolar disorder (and how the character Ian is affected by it) kind of feels like the situation i'm in now. I looked online at symptoms and realized that I fit every single on of them.

​

Is there a possibility that I have this? I dont think it would be possible since how often do people diagnose themselves, but my mental health is shit. What would i do next?",4.803012820512818,5.796048393162392,5.847083333333334,79.19062500000005,69.34188034188034,9.26880341880342,31.71901709401709,9.516144504307137,2.897906837606837,470,20,91,10,8,156,76,117,0.132,0.7609999999999999,0.106,-0.4836,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,0,8,6,1,0,5,0,16,6,1,4,0,17,21,9,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,2,5,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,3,12,4,8,14,1,11,0,1,2,0,3,5,1,1,8,64,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723083820756605,0.19323823262415368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697186361057773,0.16141158115449306,0.0,0.0,0.18226156908622576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18638137367431687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398920117990026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080410086626699,0.1136106968617834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380818149843497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17177913491194752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560473797185746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330813225003741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335447159787701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205286363193513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691296629396091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181163933297712,0.11025102219200077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3585637025995857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324148247738934,0.13155083451779784,0.17875580579107692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16529252767536115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189967355772066,0.0,0.1262516484378462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262302040932844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593996872341734,0.0,0.19323823262415368,0.10240977525690874
mentalhealth,killer553,2019/03/26,"How to make feelings towards other people more ""real"" ? Hi there.

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The title might be a little confusing,but I wasn't really sure how to express the problem in a few words.

​

My problem is that I used to be an average kiddo.Had some friends,some foes,etc...

But somewhere in between that time and present I broke down and spent over 2 years just closed into myself,strongly introverted,getting fatter and fatter.

A year ago I changed my mindset and now I am in a lot better mental and physical shape,but spending time around others just doesn't feel anyway close to what it used to be.

​

I feel like I somehow managed to kill most of my feelings towards people,It kinda was a sort of a goal during those 2 tough years.

Usually most social things I do with people I met during or after that 2 year period are not really controlled by emotions,but forced to my brain by me myself. I literally often feel stronger emotions towards some machines than those people,but at the other hand emotions to people I met before all that do still remain.

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I don't know If i am just not meeting right people or that 2 year period made such a big impact on me.But I will be thankful for any advice.",7.9248717948717955,7.15615118803419,7.849188034188035,73.51942307692309,62.760683760683754,9.509401709401713,35.31196581196581,8.344100000000001,2.9433914529914524,974,37,166,10,12,314,135,234,0.09,0.841,0.069,-0.5689,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,3,13,9,1,0,11,0,16,2,2,7,2,48,30,11,1,3,9,0,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,13,10,0,1,6,0,2,0,5,5,0,0,6,6,20,4,29,18,8,32,0,1,0,0,6,17,0,13,16,120,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590108894566367,0.07792369446393352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809860676434385,0.4272634533444656,0.059779347131672524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825530796457895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480184762858663,0.0,0.0,0.07774604205215649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813258309760714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299328519282576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985944705893718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977656723707133,0.0,0.0,0.09803884134332702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22224051388082236,0.06280032944159904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04592745096372642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725537577223738,0.0,0.04831104288577751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04294661284554595,0.08810527818410907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473485357990575,0.0,0.08317913430305893,0.0586781856528017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858894678205642,0.0932547685478496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437728385155161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682290512289597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005669604435867,0.1126301452473258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507156104136062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960947554439852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020214191979621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285071491178714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809323763835604,0.0,0.0,0.058401087218926985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251782441840104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151845761418041,0.09681644900807043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272634533444656,0.2830441059611784
mentalhealth,tratsuna,2019/03/26,"Support? In a bit of a crisis at the moment, might get kicked out - completely reliant on my parents financially, don't know what to do about college/university TW: general discussion of drugs/alcohol, suicide ment

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I (22M) have Bipolar II/C-PTSD and last night my parents found me drinking along with my vape pen/adderall (prescribed) stash and safe to say they're pretty mad about it. I've been busted before (I'm not allowed to drink in the house they're very strict) and I'm very nervous b/c they've threatened to kick me out in the past for it. Spring is a hard time for me and I've been struggling, with the turn of the season I get really frustrated/agitated, i've been really depressed and i've gone back and forth between suicidal ideation/etc. 

 I've been trying to treat my depression for a long time now and it's been hard, I can't tolerate a lot of medications (minus prescribed lamotrigine and adderall/clonazepam) and after trying almost every SSRI I've finally decided to try an antipsychotic. I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that I'm severely mentally ill and might have to be on meds that significantly impact my quality of life forever. I'm not anti medication, I'm just frustrated that nothing has worked minus ketamine (and that isn't legal or available to me) and where I live (Alaska) is... a terrible place for anyone with a mood disorder. I was prescribed Rexulti yesterday and was hopeful and optimistic, happy about it, but the pharmacy didn't have it in stock and impulsively I picked up alcohol out of frustration/agitation/sadness (unhealthy, I know, weed doesn't help my agitation and I don't plan on doing it anymore (i'm afraid of it triggering PTSD flashbacks) abusing drugs isn't good but it helps me cope - I don't plan on doing anything else after medication. I understand I fucked up, I broke the rules, and if I get kicked out it's my fault. I don't feel guilty about it (given I'm 22 but still know I broke rules, I don't pay for rent/phone/internet and know I'm really fortunate to be in the situation I'm in). 

On top of everything, I've missed my classes/am failing, and I'm thinking about withdrawing from university completely, maybe taking a semester/year off, it's my 3rd year of university and I... just don't care? I would consider myself fairly smart, one of the things I like most about myself is I've always excelled academically but my GPA is 2.5, my university is practically a community college and i've managed to get by doing the bare minimum and not using my full potential. I hate the idea of taking a semester off, but I feel like it might be best. 

 I work on campus and not going to school means I can't work so I'd have to find a job fast. They're crazy (my stepmom is a therapist and has insinuated that me drinking means I'll go overboard to the point of my s/o leaving me and ""diagnosed"" me with avoidant personality disorder one night after flipping through her DSM-IV for 5 minutes. I don't like being around her, thankfully they aren't physically abusive but she's mean and invasive, we don't have a good relationship. I don't have a place I could go to, I have one IRL friend and they know this - actually being forced out would be rare but I'm still nervous. 

That being said, it only happened last night and we're gonna talk about it today, my dad is much easier to talk to so I'll be honest with him and explain that I was drinking because I was a bit sad about being prescribed an antipsychotic (as I'm sensitive to side effects and really worried about what the rest of my life is going to look like) so hopefully he'll be understanding. He'll be upset that I wasn't forthcoming about my struggles but I think he'll understand. I have therapy tomorrow so I'll talk to my therapist about it as well, I'll see about my options with classes (moving out means i'm ineligible for tuition waiver, and debt is a big source of anxiety). I'm anxious, nervous, don't really know what to do, generally just feel bad. If anyone has any advice/been in a similar situation I'd appreciate any advice/support, thanks guys 💖

TLDR: parents found me drinking/etc, not allowed in my house and in a really rough spot mental health wise, thinking moving out/being away from them/taking a break from uni might be the best option but really anxious about debt, want to stay in school but I need to be stable ",4.082378740970071,5.8468509122807015,5.6680624355005165,76.82023606811147,72.04093567251464,9.099587203302377,29.766511867905056,9.590849319240563,2.9516800825593394,3490,147,647,87,68,1185,358,855,0.14800000000000002,0.731,0.122,-0.9555,9,1,9,0,0,1,118.0,1,0,2,11,27,47,4,9,36,0,72,16,0,6,1,122,143,51,2,9,21,4,6,4,1,10,11,2,0,2,28,49,5,2,26,4,4,8,23,23,1,3,16,10,71,23,106,103,10,73,0,7,2,1,27,37,1,14,30,386,99,17,0.0,0.12542404655958636,0.05165091512498537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312967171709858,0.053000590128567435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04404103693492232,0.05734837864904928,0.06431433689126613,0.07198685570641036,0.0,0.040490419578981286,0.11958905267802655,0.052491189276797884,0.07401815455443299,0.0,0.04355592748232789,0.04711789132038017,0.0,0.0,0.04972838976489965,0.040699012718811226,0.044193372581795766,0.03226493107171212,0.0,0.045038546506298266,0.0,0.11109110934023056,0.0,0.11556917494611825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053964482370013236,0.0,0.0,0.04559351110516456,0.11098976852880968,0.0,0.0,0.04225937381357087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117506883856838,0.053721660913309516,0.0,0.0,0.12132207790723824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074004614048661,0.06138065341231909,0.0,0.04421525616151302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180593008127134,0.0,0.0,0.044594832541428514,0.0,0.0475690306959802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028723918455569,0.0378123756008051,0.0,0.05798095973015222,0.04837600308540181,0.0,0.0,0.11606748755245705,0.04089269235831824,0.04893186193364085,0.11061254242896616,0.0,0.12032272357262586,0.08878840366059669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05240787545693135,0.04680480055215913,0.056343736964324376,0.09482769304902194,0.05225627399803711,0.0,0.05626088442861373,0.0,0.0,0.07095417476453768,0.0,0.0,0.10514056639285027,0.0,0.12214555558141944,0.0,0.05975022057177159,0.0,0.0,0.052523709047866456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17452984551258516,0.08628814178221286,0.0,0.05604400180165483,0.0,0.0,0.07477041338669957,0.10343343547000323,0.0,0.046737137558544514,0.046840359968501936,0.044446897163524964,0.0,0.0,0.04499820907249394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531741363312271,0.2306201040706045,0.05879201197564742,0.15996072102569422,0.10667964832630214,0.22459655012966767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125099662243952,0.038908789249645456,0.039246065995787616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901039934024066,0.0,0.05078665180113251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759786029978176,0.040254769725686784,0.0,0.0,0.17631364740491742,0.0,0.05052656911361171,0.0,0.046215423640855735,0.1105987499988914,0.0,0.050034864201035145,0.0,0.0,0.05384766100386017,0.0,0.0,0.12374196875701425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373530024247651,0.0,0.0,0.05682576869317661,0.0,0.0,0.05034744972474098,0.04209113990086833,0.0,0.1071336285309276,0.04217743468871688,0.0,0.0,0.059794526339013276,0.0,0.0,0.11898847302415305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564151036135574,0.08453808385578332,0.0,0.0,0.1659981545446378,0.0,0.11579112581830572,0.1201260462869834,0.0,0.0,0.07959180484883083,0.12762659588576267,0.0,0.09745953377288506,0.0605287441020655,0.12290893108047796,0.03516357103621617,0.10174399514998657,0.0,0.0,0.06172646731560307,0.0,0.05017035380742249,0.0,0.0,0.1078056289889287,0.05757138165366844,0.0,0.16530237478650947,0.0,0.04571352583005663,0.0,0.08734367630723784,0.031218802598563206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04758938583436164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559848298453099,0.05375180870505123,0.0,0.07519826210552746,0.0,0.06431433689126613,0.0681688783569263
mentalhealth,AussieAly,2019/03/26,"Film about UK Mental Health Hi all. I hope I am coming to the right place. After experiencing first hand how underfunded mental health services are in Norfolk, UK, I decided to do something about it. So I am making a documentary, alongside a lot of amazing people who have also been dealing with mental illness, and we are currently raising money for it. We are so close to £1000! Please give it a read and donate if you can, share if you can't. Look out for each other <3

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mhfilmnorfolk/while-we-wait-a-documentary?ref=project_build&fbclid=IwAR1pi35XlV4KViUPH9MWLsTtG53lXh_5uEtCJLuO5bogW4KTL_DaLxLBbco",12.713179723502307,16.3029393655914,9.38497695852535,51.44032258064519,53.193548387096776,7.894930875576037,28.3394777265745,8.418075326091056,2.1562639016897083,543,14,68,6,7,156,70,93,0.028,0.818,0.154,0.8999,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,2,2,0,1,6,3,0,0,4,0,10,4,1,2,1,17,15,8,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,1,2,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,8,3,12,14,3,9,0,0,1,0,9,5,0,4,3,51,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424075066666715,0.0,0.20897819733396528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16614331538806934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19884395784549555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405797548537834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850216949549216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100307100312824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19156675872138368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619650400783487,0.0,0.0,0.16397402745722714,0.0,0.0,0.1287444607767292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5831129264145704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371409791193126,0.0,0.2015116028266423,0.21171702275243892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929255472131965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16471278957269211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848333003630926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Grabapanda,2019/03/26,"Anxious - But Growing (A Love Letter) I posted this on r/anxiety, but thought I'd share here as well. 

​

Today I'm struggling with anxiety and depression for what feels like the 10,000th day in a row. I've got a freaking cold (maybe allergies?) and I'm paranoid its cancer. It's not - I went to the doctor. He gave me flonase :) And yet, here I am. I'm sure many of you are familiar.

I wanted to take a minute to tell you all that in the last few years, I've seen a therapist weekly (EMDR therapy), began exercising and lost 25ish pounds, started towards a career I love, and I'm still struggling with anxiety. I'm working as hard as I can to be as open and vulnerable with the people that I love and who love me, and I'm still struggling with anxiety. I've quit smoking, and I'm working to reestablish my relationship with food, and I'm still struggling with anxiety. Sleep has become an enormous priority, and I'm still struggling with anxiety. I've started to take my choices and their repercussions seriously, and I'm still struggling with anxiety. I have become determined to be as honest as I can about the place I am in, and make progress from there, and I'm still struggling with anxiety.

Today I realized I would be unhealthy, isolated, addicted, and headed down a dangerous path \_if it weren't for my journey with mental health and anxiety\_. So today I choose to say thank you to my journey, and to say \_I love you to my anxiety\_, because without this journey, I would never have made the progress in my life that I desperately needed to make.

Whoever you are, and wherever you are on your journey with anxiety and mental health, I hope this short writing meets you as a message of hope.

You are making progress. You are not alone. You might be like me, taking the smallest baby steps, but you are still moving forward. I pray you can take a moment today to feel that victory and pride in yourself. What a great challenge you have been faced with, and what a brave response you have met it with.

I hope someday you can love your anxiety, too.

prayers and love to all of you.",4.833124034997425,6.1985070199004975,5.5201869960542105,80.17544776119405,69.59701492537314,8.728907188196947,32.51878538342769,9.130062681391069,2.905573751930006,1650,75,307,32,29,535,178,402,0.17600000000000002,0.601,0.224,0.9869,0,1,0,0,0,0,68.0,0,18,1,9,15,33,1,7,19,0,26,18,3,4,4,66,70,35,0,8,7,0,3,2,0,3,7,2,0,0,15,37,1,0,5,1,0,9,5,12,1,0,11,7,47,21,51,52,3,44,1,2,1,7,39,14,0,5,24,205,62,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06195782211410724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886323822792443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061579986080363164,0.06905994665984533,0.0,0.0,0.5217373950856554,0.0642066294876741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034645687516971294,0.12553813153042306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03665344896201342,0.0,0.04895133569785999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817235756791745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747430224280853,0.04060246545787296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872431224365576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045455615411544525,0.06266006297106276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091240725153901,0.0,0.05832843185438701,0.12082449623152128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934797724383152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632757451057565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014377672081136,0.055532777617528464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204139831900288,0.0,0.3590664898766256,0.053778028831782065,0.11381209432893735,0.057621102536527996,0.05709773584273045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145512988116645,0.060292255668294326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040591135452481,0.0,0.042141944631414296,0.0438341484675708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03940177680356873,0.0,0.05937979107583896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05443158941013393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045031885801293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101881391532182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039390023784258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687538733007405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804552799355061,0.0,0.31771585394508883,0.0,0.0,0.4159091620326604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053565694961747054,0.0,0.17092940899675246,0.0,0.04967572019962197,0.052325426407085006,0.06499502352241042,0.06598905185625176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045120119287125934,0.0,0.0,0.21548924394284968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03352236758478957,0.0,0.045589081156515235,0.0,0.051100899210889984,0.05268600466262795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547862777886547,0.0,0.08275215610030769,0.0,0.0,0.08074697215180382,0.0,0.06905994665984533,0.03659945302048294
mentalhealth,mt-st-helena,2019/03/26,"Thoughts on ""Suicide Isn't Preventable""? I am wondering what people think of this article from Medium.

[https://medium.com/@racheladdison342/suicide-isnt-preventable-the-trend-towards-disorder-8c1bf2c1354e](https://medium.com/@racheladdison342/suicide-isnt-preventable-the-trend-towards-disorder-8c1bf2c1354e)",55.91833333333333,71.37520250000001,21.56500000000001,-51.53249999999997,-3.7777777777777857,8.466666666666667,37.833333333333336,8.07648339933343,5.4274,287,6,11,3,4,54,18,18,0.231,0.769,0.0,-0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,3,36.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513238245170045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5543135801070113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247115747279678,0.0,0.4023111178372241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5495599902994572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the_chai_tea,2019/03/26,"Explanation needed? So pretty much whenever I'm in social situations, even if I'm around people I'm comfortable with, I fall into what feels like episodes of derealization? And I can't help but feel like it's linked to some form of social anxiety I'm not aware I have, but it might also be something that's completely medical, and I should get my blood tested for low iron or something. Does anyone know if this is a common thing?",3.970714285714287,5.952975595238098,5.385238095238098,77.8264285714286,72.80952380952381,8.609523809523811,25.095238095238088,9.23628265651192,2.1812809523809524,346,11,64,8,7,116,65,84,0.078,0.8,0.122,0.5585,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,6,2,1,0,0,19,15,9,0,4,6,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,3,8,12,3,6,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,5,3,40,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737338841270208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011034370499072,0.0,0.0,0.14634415115163835,0.0,0.0,0.18631720422765427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944215658498464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315574125504933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823758216134988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21165200055763295,0.299041230824382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934816414929216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028623841121393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502323200714533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045022387504098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108430116640644,0.0,0.22202925537775448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385613892575314,0.1551898246793223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509901922374593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129285791721793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23525670406634594,0.0,0.4267004345135483,0.0,0.3222515186623686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904650786641898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,john_armstrong,2019/03/26,"Patient Satisfaction and EMR Technology  A survey was recently carried out by Kaiser Family Foundation which included almost 2000 patients. The survey found out that 57% of young patients are satisfied with EMR technology, they said that the patient care has improved. On the other hand, only 6% of the patients believed that EHR technology has worsened patient care. ",9.973983050847457,12.190484661016955,9.362500000000004,54.209512711864434,58.32203389830508,12.001694915254236,45.25847457627118,11.698219412168324,6.5600135593220354,301,18,35,9,4,96,42,59,0.04,0.705,0.254,0.9382,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,4,1,1,0,0,6,8,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,2,7,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022056227944366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400213332660066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6154033365986618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28450690214258323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309043095264484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295298547787438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979876568940352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870776035373966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emma_has_a_reddit,2019/03/26,"[offer] just a young US artist wanting to help out anyone who might need something to cheer them up hello, i’m 18 and don’t have much money but thought of a way that i thought would be personally rewarding to make someone’s day who is struggling. i see a lot of sad people and want to leave a positive impact in their lives but don’t have too much to give. i really like to paint scenic and nature pieces and would love to send some personal pieces to people who need a touch of kindness. i’ll happily ship to you. comment what you would like me to paint and how it might help you and i’ll private message you for your shipping information and such if your comment inspires me!
i know that when i was going through a difficult time last year handmade things with personal touches could really turn my day around. 
wishing you all a good day! ",5.154069003285873,6.005942632530125,5.294249726177437,83.98399233296827,68.4578313253012,8.446002190580504,30.151150054764514,8.575989854853784,2.1472361445783132,671,25,133,10,11,211,106,166,0.064,0.6709999999999999,0.265,0.9911,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,1,7,2,1,6,11,0,1,7,0,13,1,0,2,1,35,28,12,0,10,4,0,2,2,0,5,0,0,0,3,8,10,0,0,5,1,1,2,2,3,0,0,3,3,18,8,20,18,7,15,0,1,1,1,27,4,0,5,10,88,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617752974596563,0.0,0.0,0.12244786218495728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982176484855832,0.0,0.0,0.2661233733928195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194963149607247,0.07817232404120204,0.11536966012688045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843925262686264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14323622229025032,0.07559338880842233,0.1121208759248355,0.0,0.14564463766514665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439908596110578,0.0,0.12145837638987693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693932705123815,0.12414343412268912,0.0,0.09181509314780008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918357193714129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20222883199203806,0.20398183134631706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19071845547202154,0.36030770899634096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623495276970472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960882512679837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654490709641505,0.10589201815697427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379618570244518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138151091899953,0.0,0.0,0.21839724396323734,0.08020598705948469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961392390403547,0.0,0.0,0.16545463278843126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226004734277275,0.10918007416141656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817467814299307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931328050815124,0.0,0.0,0.08857711145852569
mentalhealth,SampaiWasTaken,2019/03/26,"How do I cope? My life's been a mess lately.

Just a few weeks ago my cat who I loved quite a lot passed away from lungcancer, which was a pretty hard hit for me because I've had mental health problems for years now and finally when things were getting better this happened.
A week after this my second cat started showing signs of tumors as well so we took her to the vet to get them operated on.
The Vet said she had a lot of tumors and it'd need two session to get them all removed.
The first operation went extremely well and it looked good to begin with but then she started coughing a lot. Obviously we took her to the vet again and he checked her out, he said everything was fine and gave her some meds to make her breathing easier.

Second operation was yesterday and he removed the tumors, billed as 780€ in total and then told us she had less than 6 weeks to live.
The same day my grandmother as well got diagnosed with a tumor that will also have to be surgically removed.

We're not wealthy at all and payed about a month's income for the cat just for him to tell us she'll die soon, all of this is also going on a week before my diploma has to be finished and my matriculation exams are in a month. What the fuck do I do? I can't deal with this... ",4.7057558139534885,4.926544875968993,5.608827519379847,83.57045058139536,69.23255813953489,8.465503875968993,27.752906976744185,8.278499904357787,1.6426116279069771,990,30,210,13,16,326,153,258,0.08199999999999999,0.84,0.077,-0.6399,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,4,0,2,3,14,10,1,0,19,0,21,7,1,2,5,34,43,20,1,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,11,15,0,0,0,1,3,8,2,3,3,4,16,4,27,7,34,21,11,39,0,0,1,2,27,7,1,4,24,151,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047880497877952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129347625662245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649697743653568,0.0,0.0,0.06909770560801183,0.0,0.0964533356847431,0.0,0.0,0.10024973085492343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310200510972266,0.1168598836384739,0.0,0.115048859156429,0.1176404219147333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187255233193657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417045855140744,0.0,0.09641628608137877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479115493003224,0.17766362671726094,0.0,0.06441997437478414,0.09507342451637966,0.0906571338900214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023589768119054,0.0,0.10154021409847276,0.0,0.0,0.12048679170751568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786484318998428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006314969185148,0.0,0.0,0.10009099244017364,0.0,0.09518627541986108,0.0,0.0,0.2891008503754378,0.10230368539083236,0.0,0.07566265964770658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590738615145053,0.0,0.11423112787740886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18095134235751129,0.0,0.0,0.08404831575255048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531869754982585,0.0,0.10846157992434127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056272037653512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156454790783301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16046081478021051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990737530764265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530535472667119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831171938748237,0.25187422004857224,0.0,0.0,0.1107274373763638,0.0,0.2726945459316848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636932772252897,0.0,0.3057484330408319,0.10507749450944807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299431506402584
mentalhealth,milkywater1234,2019/03/26,"My life from 18 has stopped I'm 21 at the time of writing this

Growing up I've always been happy, had friends, being outside and doing something (playing football mostly) is what I done everyday...I'd just go outside when I came home from school, always had loving family, never thought I was ever unsafe or vulnerable, and I'm not from a rich family, but my parents have gave me everything I ever asked for. 
I have 4 siblings 1 brother 2 sister's

But around a few years ago at Christmas my  sister told us she was molested by the man who was my dad's best man at his wedding (so a pretty close family friend) this happened when she was 4 or 5 so, nothing happened when we contacted police, case fell through on lack of evidence which we did expect, but since this day, it has tore my family apart. 

My mum has always suffered from depression and bi-polar disorder, she drinks...a lot

And my mum along with my sister is the worst effected by it

But for me, seeing my mum self destruct and drink herself to death is killing me too

And last year I saved my friend from killing himself, he went through the same thing as my sister, but his family weren't supportive like mine would be with my sister, they're old fashioned, they tell him to go to work because it's when he's at home he has time to think about it and he should get on with it, shit like that

So, I got off work (worked in a bar at the time) @1am
Travelled to my friends cousin's house where we were supposed to meet. Just me and friends cousin, had a feeling something was wrong so I tried calling. I got a text from him and instantly started running, ended up 2 miles away, my phone had died by this point and all the info I had gotten from him was the name of the park he was at (big ass park) and that he had taken a lot of prescription tabs....i had passed a small carpark where I went up to one of the cars but before I could even speak he rolled his window up a d drove away (I don't blame him, some guy wearing a big black coat running towards your car at 3am would scare the shit out of you) but there was another car there too, 2 girls...I asked them to phone the police and told them my name  and just ran off
I found him walking along the beach area, he had taken his shoes off, I checked all his pockets and threw all the tabs in the sea, shortly after the police found us, and while they spoke to my friend the cop told me I 100% saved his life


A lot of hard hitting stuff has hit me over a short space of time, now I find myself avoiding friends, spending time in my room not speaking to family, not keeping fit or taking care of myself, not interested in women or relationships, not interested in doing fuck all.

As a teen I was always very sure of myself and had a sense of ""knowing who I was"" and what I wanted to do and how to reach my goals, now my goal is to go to my room and avoid confrontation from parents

I'm not suicidal, I don't take drugs because bad mental states and drugs don't mix, I smoke marijuana, that's it 

Someone give me advice",4.938664418064743,4.934169585089143,5.390985150466513,86.11307897849228,68.70826580226904,8.291015813220028,28.66919269350388,7.824948511530503,1.5657499583862642,2362,74,507,25,37,757,290,617,0.17,0.735,0.095,-0.9952,2,2,7,0,1,0,69.0,5,2,4,7,25,37,8,3,30,0,47,13,5,2,8,92,93,43,5,7,20,14,2,2,7,3,4,3,5,5,20,32,2,4,9,5,3,19,11,16,0,1,43,7,80,21,76,42,14,88,0,2,2,3,85,43,4,9,27,330,100,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583785858878419,0.05972368033747798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424486833769705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706483349284506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059977841524834236,0.1259726551356075,0.0,0.12660165372529136,0.0,0.05625512990672425,0.08214208524190958,0.0,0.057330978300703765,0.0,0.07070567850247145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879718682127281,0.07705880338210122,0.06869308198769898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053793282222559205,0.0,0.0,0.0434511615272874,0.0,0.05802980223194106,0.0,0.06992438808050512,0.0,0.07721733887353023,0.0,0.0,0.06894779546089788,0.0,0.06600163790085647,0.15626671737164433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967406021238211,0.0,0.0,0.04450040902030168,0.1218886977598886,0.0,0.0,0.060552110984207264,0.0,0.381089697621036,0.0,0.03406671488143675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157933144614485,0.0,0.0,0.1477459448953704,0.3643751337639139,0.06228690160634508,0.035200543543817096,0.06463203151050156,0.11487192620535275,0.0,0.10777153820456087,0.0,0.0,0.0667116282313229,0.11915859693426638,0.07172170977654706,0.0603545721856168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351648023428916,0.0,0.0,0.0777414541517952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059885803185452925,0.14908043089283474,0.0,0.03702741896325019,0.05491944087751924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951776040731703,0.06583183189169689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718388945485787,0.0608083725211339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06789793496629226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05196358649494172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464792179669822,0.0,0.07069850153780946,0.0,0.04565489691655054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496234474333477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369094778374039,0.0,0.0,0.06854437640709052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233530308118921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745391182655006,0.06818687778615759,0.05368897934084153,0.0,0.07028659299834522,0.0,0.13831849395207074,0.05573311707445503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570864353499023,0.10373679981722236,0.0,0.0,0.047688218478755234,0.0,0.0,0.0563283357798213,0.0,0.0,0.07712800773691429,0.07369707768849754,0.07645610579445877,0.06349993602283979,0.0,0.1013149044688656,0.0,0.058888530370363824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044760812335954255,0.04317104073918165,0.0,0.05348805219686728,0.19643389012093584,0.0,0.0,0.19313847851395452,0.0,0.04574305534329864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208713762506646,0.0,0.0,0.05559125237726855,0.03973939287987219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491419845350955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471489342724157,0.0,0.0,0.09572222612512032,0.07366374899594437,0.0,0.08677430310318139
mentalhealth,zahratonin,2019/03/26,"I aggressively hate myself I don't really know what to do with these feelings. I've been in and out feeling a low self worth for the last few years. I was feeling really good this time last year. I want to feel like I want to do things for myself. Like go the gym, or just not feel like the least likable person ever. I'm in therapy but I can't really afford to go as often. I don't know how to get myself out of this funk, because I don't feel like I deserve it. Any suggestions or words of encouragement?",1.3514018691588774,3.1949735327102817,3.581130841121496,88.4455280373832,80.02803738317758,6.896822429906544,20.04579439252336,7.908726449838941,0.7332923364485984,396,10,87,7,10,136,64,107,0.054000000000000006,0.747,0.199,0.8749,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,2,0,4,0,8,0,0,1,1,23,23,6,0,2,5,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,8,1,1,2,5,3,0,0,2,6,12,6,15,21,2,13,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,3,10,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170456972013763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013328702991416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485854166296016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4983382824056273,0.35204886546042363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582071224273413,0.0,0.1867090586516388,0.1377761305132494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217584571091495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805494545265004,0.2677927700868867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210026966860136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342824010233726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156935258423873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136228208307522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187849219118469,0.0,0.10912913291958776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578315935834902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377331471027864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115601563769028
mentalhealth,kandinskykat,2019/03/26,"Getting through my depression Hey guys, let me know if this is against the guidelines, but it's been a year since I first got help for a 5+ year depression, and I'm doing so much better! I made a video about it, if you want to watch it, but I just wanted to share my story :) 

[https://youtu.be/Onq3IkcClZw](https://youtu.be/Onq3IkcClZw) ",14.686500000000002,9.574285316666673,11.450000000000005,66.40500000000003,54.16666666666666,14.0,41.66666666666666,10.125756701596842,3.8421666666666674,269,7,51,3,2,78,47,60,0.108,0.654,0.238,0.8385,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,10,11,6,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,7,2,6,7,1,3,0,2,1,0,5,0,0,2,3,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422073301412049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4717512419892923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23294557536215546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430807920826721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903123500183885,0.0,0.0,0.2711649209785857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835628999017356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050655190718942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28004088456660275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259133397806735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201318955791732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265402102760995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323060000653617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527143268390201
mentalhealth,PokemonAxe,2019/03/26,"Really unhealthy body Goals (Bulimia) Okay I dont know how much background to give.  I did a lot of strict dieting and weightlifting in college (M23) and now I have been working on getting back to where I was now that I am about a year and a half back from that point.  I have been focused a lot on diet, and have lost 10 pounds, anyway the last few days whenever I fuck up my diet and eat something I don't think I should have eaten I have been thinking about inducing vomiting and have done it once, I know I have really bad body image problems and have for years, but I am really scared about how I am feeling, because I just hate myself a lot and I am scared to go to any of my family about it because they tend to not react in healthy ways, and my girlfriend is having a really bad time at her job right now so I really cannot put this on her plate. I don't know what to do. anyway I can be in the comments for like further details if needed I dont know I just needed to talk about this somewhere. Thanks Reddit.",3.3272195892575027,4.221909241706161,4.6040568720379165,87.10804423380726,72.69668246445498,7.711974723538706,25.44107424960505,8.021203637495839,1.3263779462875194,794,24,170,11,15,263,114,211,0.155,0.787,0.058,-0.9686,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,18,11,2,2,8,1,29,9,2,4,0,32,47,14,0,5,5,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,7,9,5,0,8,1,0,2,6,8,0,1,8,2,28,3,25,37,5,25,0,1,0,1,7,12,1,4,11,128,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275334081518791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18714412442723416,0.20321205515346655,0.14836213145607222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703402090000225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847995238306148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453107154086547,0.28523943671219104,0.0,0.0,0.12451920162169708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471845735045155,0.0,0.06153009649842136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250040045729394,0.06357797775881711,0.11673609121310295,0.0691592045096816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014363481933064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207585010642105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675104623178946,0.09919355325554037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945156413028824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283895850837926,0.3103693385333602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894561171171005,0.18046311611388036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295958281779285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503633904380113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644085022124526,0.0,0.12233201353216992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.389788498993904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392255476962896,0.0,0.0,0.24366574342894715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936828708815306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978097745093047,0.0,0.11203575895701587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559480162301519,0.0,0.0,0.07095839006940803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659182031394936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859173494257541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567286796541515
mentalhealth,jshepherd415,2019/03/26,"How do I talk to someone about suicide without them calling the police on me or trying to get me committed? I’d like to talk to someone in person about suicide, but I don’t want the police called or to be committed somewhere. This is the major reason why I keep my feelings to myself, because mental health professionals are required to report certain topics of discussion. I just want a confidential psychologist who won’t say anything to others about what we discuss.",10.186395348837207,8.87215077906977,9.946162790697674,62.04738372093026,58.65116279069767,11.390697674418604,43.593023255813954,10.125756701596842,4.805962790697674,381,19,56,6,4,125,61,86,0.063,0.805,0.132,0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,2,6.0,1,0,1,1,5,2,0,0,4,0,6,1,0,2,3,16,11,4,2,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,10,2,15,9,1,2,0,0,0,0,11,2,0,2,1,44,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638898231555574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140468939881086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067245711111885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070012045198302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405168174196901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21169532903005814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17702052032686413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729839557674703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200704125811446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389682748994692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047672920041574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583782018547995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33749135693984816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4356924127271683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201508411325499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521500969328654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349367506446829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970885316310195,0.0,0.0,0.19198092215634135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zandublam,2019/03/26,"[need advice] what are some things I can do to help my friend? My friend has been diagnosed with depression and is battling with for over a year now. We stay in different cities and quite far away. But I am always available for my friend to talk etc.

So I wanted to what are some things I can say / do to help them? 

I have been researching on internet about things I should talk about and not talk about, but thought I would post here too.",3.299458128078818,4.932507287356327,3.091625615763548,95.03379310344828,73.82758620689657,7.270279146141214,21.623973727422005,7.957251820313856,0.6136318555008211,342,8,77,5,7,102,56,87,0.045,0.835,0.12,0.6662,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,1,1,7,5,1,0,1,0,14,1,0,0,0,16,17,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,1,12,3,15,12,3,9,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,2,2,60,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788344727721253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227831547310688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194316827232453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762555632372555,0.18575048631085672,0.0,0.19120566311993184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204103634983186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241773632636887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453344190077546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569900335489146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752722257736484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946528119018711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553626178053589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19506345770667444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4412875895671772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36474954288607786,0.0,0.0,0.14528886296226246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794356812763907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000448532644307,0.0,0.0,0.11785192500375195
mentalhealth,marinobeano14,2019/03/26,"I’m 19F and tired of being mentally exhausted and sad. I’ve always had issues and it’s been getting super bad lately and I’m so tired of it. I want to improve myself. I’m not really sure if my boyfriends thinks I can do it without talking to a professional but I’m certainly going to try. I already take four dance classes a week but I’m going to exercise more cause it makes me feel better. I’m going to remind myself of good things, be with friends more and go for walks. Do things for me that make me happy. I have faith in myself, I just hope he does. ",0.6620512820512836,2.873215205128208,3.048205128205129,89.23846153846155,84.98290598290599,5.651282051282053,20.11111111111111,7.010146845296331,0.5198854700854705,437,13,91,6,13,150,75,117,0.08800000000000001,0.6579999999999999,0.253,0.9765,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,2,12,0,0,2,0,8,4,0,3,2,21,26,9,0,3,6,0,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,2,2,0,6,2,3,0,1,2,1,12,9,13,22,2,9,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,56,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955714970900282,0.0,0.14746487135347916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797494464266933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567405515417083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18205824467120674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509023876162362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960996547508893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369231071200126,0.0,0.09259241763239788,0.0,0.4028827699664787,0.14864739155481194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18865863524729964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760237857258452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849761958924997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19991680649392887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365972836666553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17860047936335324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135344682527082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167031869509017,0.0,0.1332506689178021,0.1424462338870198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354799904846377,0.1135582190306743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073866805976817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032371258291395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045315239922587,0.0,0.1421586980288229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083796651969854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xxx_ChuU_ooo,2019/03/26,"Hi, I have a question. I (20F) am having a hard time fitting in. See, I don’t exactly know what my problem is and have to resort to self-diagnosis because my parents prevent me from going to a psychiatrist to get a full mental diagnosis because they think it’s all in my head. Added with the fact that I recently just figured out that I have been (and still am) a victim of gaslighting, it makes things even more difficult for me. I still live with my parents so there’s really not much I can do. 

What I want to know is that how can I see a psychiatrist without my parents knowing? Keep in mind that they have eyes EVERYWHERE, meaning they have friends that monitor me and my siblings’ movements when we’re not at home and will report them to my parents. Thing is, I don’t know who might be relaying the information to my parents. I really don’t know what to do and I’m so close to losing my mind. I’ve had to endure with this since I was in high school. It never stops and I really am at a loss. ",4.424977375565613,4.795515313725495,5.800588235294117,81.42495475113125,69.88235294117646,9.022021116138763,30.39819004524887,9.057496981413335,2.371253846153845,780,30,163,14,13,264,110,204,0.077,0.885,0.037000000000000005,-0.8165,5,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,4,2,9,6,1,0,9,0,25,2,2,2,4,39,40,10,0,2,4,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,15,11,0,3,10,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,3,4,29,1,24,34,4,20,0,2,3,0,14,11,0,2,7,124,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393964138842647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551789579658877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833576393131834,0.0,0.05973587744131805,0.0,0.06497982336275955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242266067895583,0.0,0.11734179360723293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080233526607692,0.1146884004374013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162715229405772,0.0,0.0,0.3141805691727108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096084439784564,0.0,0.0,0.1279128161108944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632021444871992,0.0,0.0,0.12454549881730267,0.0,0.0,0.11522386626264003,0.121292501715206,0.23089367396647945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405016700522894,0.0,0.08818302565155689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6347833739484879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940417740818358,0.0,0.0,0.12808256525357636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21973984223528767,0.0,0.11289307535541375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571420678404527,0.1822220890346051,0.0,0.11927745660775275,0.0,0.0,0.09457997848351564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18261786612764835,0.0955900740120202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519196086586596,0.07326193686184927,0.0,0.0,0.0666702817868654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743837633386196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102158912283758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,seokjean,2019/03/26,"Advice on how to be less anxious Hi all! I'm looking for advice on how to be less anxious about the future and life in general. A little background: I'm a 17 year old 2nd year uni student in Melbourne. I've always been the type to have ""breakdowns"" (I get really worried, anxious, rapid heartbeat) once every few months since secondary/high school. These days, it's gotten worse and more frequent. It happens around once a month ish or sometimes more often and there's this pesky additional feature where I start crying with no apparent trigger. It's a huge problem for me because I become unable to concentrate on my school work (which makes me even more anxious) and I withdraw from the people around me. I've tried booking appointments with my uni counsellor but there are never any appointments available. Could anyone please advise me on what to do? Any help would be sincerely appreciated. ",5.196336546888697,7.630305202453989,5.094272567922875,79.2763957055215,70.59509202453987,7.111130587204207,30.6612620508326,7.957251820313856,2.3983728308501315,720,31,116,10,14,223,110,163,0.091,0.807,0.103,0.8375,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,10,2,0,0,7,0,9,1,0,4,2,22,17,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,10,1,19,10,7,21,0,0,1,0,3,11,0,2,10,74,17,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443160699611156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401808722889404,0.0,0.0,0.17002176963425775,0.0,0.0,0.5649015272490071,0.0,0.08740969097005608,0.0,0.0,0.2225702785630153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620475466122274,0.1380633954690316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981007572718742,0.0,0.1373172887610568,0.08062091665144877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256772984832783,0.0,0.10532606641634276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531241024131347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054566752730033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379136884103988,0.1320796147467223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829805021723998,0.0,0.12529256365066702,0.0,0.0,0.10497666603628927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344494748028987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19956310457252294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641518957066604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311766544211388,0.2662625076761209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666598788265867,0.0,0.0,0.13722311420371333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961740285837615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008441680926254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530329868060273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340931815052412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363779277392352,0.0,0.08848251121704417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487338249631635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100855265496016,0.12695342152944036,0.1273955672523253,0.08880330631987866,0.0,0.0,0.16100430027804324
mentalhealth,Notatzi,2019/03/26,"I have a question about my feelings I've been dealing with depression for 6+ years now. It has in turned shaped my personality, very much so because I started developing it at a very young age. However, I wouldn't consider myself depressed anymore. I'm 19 now, and I've been wondering about something for a long time now.

These past 3 years I've noticed that I've stopped caring about anything, cliché I know. But I also feel as if though I'm apathetic all of the time, I cannot express feelings anymore. During my time in school, everyone thought I was emotionless and cold. I never showed any emotion or care about anything. I react indifferently to *everything*, as horrible as it sounds I feel as if though I wouldn't even care if someone close to me would die.

My question is: Is it possible that this is due to a personality disorder? BPD or Schizoid perhaps? I want to know what causes this, or am I simply dead inside as everyone with depression claims to be.",5.289168399168396,6.592983189189191,6.1610810810810825,76.23725571725575,68.45945945945945,9.367983367983367,34.771309771309774,9.661875296680813,3.4543305613305613,770,38,141,17,13,254,110,185,0.14300000000000002,0.7829999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9282,3,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,5,0,14,0,0,2,2,31,30,18,2,7,7,0,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,10,5,0,1,10,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,6,19,3,22,22,2,21,0,3,0,0,6,5,0,9,16,90,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930575318367282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913260137243361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308068224869513,0.0,0.0,0.1915179549401408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093539240607452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655840523335942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559274672925359,0.11953953015087855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996782859114488,0.3006765738011312,0.0,0.12076912565922007,0.0,0.13336506414259042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13089564262379985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685838426890497,0.0,0.0,0.22238464358031698,0.1045819019819435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23535178401997886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790298596423685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297989812600444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554210846861716,0.0,0.08974832786360842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248301193207085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108413648988164,0.0,0.2032119147498376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118473476373801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607122170067441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776820416626887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859619902961173,0.08958392741447771,0.0,0.0,0.08236417376001047,0.0,0.0,0.09728685582683813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286572311028651,0.09238129176894933,0.2035611592261504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657236241683198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19202762092602527,0.0686354484333119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619353420139978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266278670880449,0.0,0.0,0.1498712681388639
mentalhealth,Bongbingbandle,2019/03/26,"Anybody have any experience with mirtazapine? I turn into a zombie at night and often wake up the next day to find empty takeout boxes I can't remember ordering and receipts in my email for Amazon purchases I don't remember making. I've been on Mirtazapine for around 1.5 months now, and while it's improved my overall mood, it causes me to 'black out' but not really, I'm obviously still functional enough to order things and make decisions but I can't remember doing most of them.

Is this a normal thing? Cheers.",5.6010456553755485,7.159478000000004,6.966863033873345,69.79474226804126,67.96907216494846,10.491310751104571,30.3519882179676,10.608840637214634,3.649027687776141,414,16,69,12,7,141,76,97,0.016,0.897,0.08800000000000001,0.7587,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,7,1,1,3,1,23,11,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,5,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,8,1,14,10,2,16,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,2,7,50,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204411408645436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728548956880584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19946887987158216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522534660095033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20063233454707705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993818764344894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747035643582473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25922360857031057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549868196543682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650489997647226,0.1822179524069118,0.1902480475017426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439202217994948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.659879550236538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506659208493906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579994661541969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112041708890712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,enragedwalrus,2019/03/26,"I keep insulting my wife in the middle of the night while sleeping. What is happening? For the past year or so I occasionally wake myself and my wife up in the middle of the night screaming ""stupid fucking bitch."" Usually it happens during or after a dream in which she did something mean like cheated on me or really any other random thing. It's very odd.

We have a good relationship and got married recently, and she never makes me angry like that while I'm awake. I just don't understand why 80% of my dreams involve being angry at her.

A few times I've woken up punching in random directions in my sleep. I've also kicked the hell out of her leg in the middle of the night once in one of my sleeping outbursts. Occasionally it's not my wife and I'll just be fighting some muggers or killers in my dream. My wife is pretty calm about the whole thing and usually tells me while laughing that I was insulting her again last night. I usually blow it off like I don't care but I'm honestly getting kind of concerned I'm going to punch my wife in the face in the middle of the night on accident. In my dreams, I am so angry it's unbelievable. I'll wake up sweating with my heart racing. Feeling all the physiological symptoms of actually being angry as hell. And it usually takes me a few minutes after waking up to realize I'm actually just angry about a fictional dream scenario.

I don't really have issues sleeping, in fact I usually sleep like a rock and can easily sleep for up to 14 hours at a time if I'm not disturbed.

What is this I'm experiencing? Is there a term for this? Is this common? Any tips on stopping it from happening or protecting my wife from angry sleeping me? I have a rocky past of being screwed over by people, maybe some sort of PTSD that manifests itself in my dreams? I have no idea. I have anxiety and panic attack issues if that could be related in anyway.",3.883463027844364,5.455842197860964,5.49901346118385,78.6075668449198,72.20855614973263,8.474128711045545,27.602434077079106,9.035553425615538,2.318175106029872,1498,55,283,31,29,509,176,374,0.126,0.718,0.156,0.8169,0,0,1,0,2,0,31.0,1,0,0,0,11,24,11,2,22,0,23,17,14,1,3,41,44,23,0,3,13,6,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,21,11,0,3,5,7,0,1,7,14,0,1,4,3,37,10,53,34,7,60,2,0,0,2,18,31,5,12,32,195,58,0,0.0,0.0,0.15273530308924976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625821833379526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643503796743027,0.0,0.05986647566303261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902876124728536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978834015712691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06248193523927886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03956914664976995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234743803736307,0.04088611051827281,0.0,0.04447531957787899,0.06563835176538768,0.06258936053460322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207607514244442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273505324645538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706749057241169,0.0,0.0,0.08834275275274364,0.0,0.16336018395234475,0.0,0.0695585158924637,0.0,0.08149273850588512,0.0,0.06378999024617074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292988592598314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052237229222823874,0.0,0.07861978640074829,0.0852449356619896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06035670834779469,0.0,0.0,0.3671949866330054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334126910563854,0.05302904367675058,0.0,0.0,0.09181785824096028,0.0,0.0,0.14941053472050358,0.05425362723031568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961561575598597,0.0,0.0,0.09147837486145796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026701830041307,0.0,0.07726945603608938,0.08401885023362776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5481953909637709,0.0,0.0,0.06024614729115296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542644885972733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133910236984936,0.058839608202440524,0.0,0.06840016427542556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398109437017183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126470142168633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146841236435058,0.0,0.0,0.4309457580453443,0.06457031226568744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061487050021424,0.08737126963183978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039501367935485
mentalhealth,flightofapollo24,2019/03/26,"I'm at a loss / lack of support Last night around 9 PM I took a handful of pills (again) and ended rushing myself to the hospital emergency with my husband.

I had to do the whole charcoal drink thing  until I could speak to a psychiatrist. Around 3 AM she comes into my room and gives me the name of some local resources and a psychiatrist that's gonna call me in a month and tries to send me home. I freaked the fuck out. 

I dont know what else to do honestly.... if I go home I feel like I'm just going to hurt myself again. But my local hospital doesn't seem to care.

They let me stay overnight but I dont know what to do.",1.2164035087719292,2.8828100827067686,3.0167105263157907,93.1748903508772,79.75187969924812,6.237844611528822,21.60964912280702,7.1686216300943375,0.43805814536340826,483,14,113,6,12,161,84,133,0.109,0.86,0.03,-0.7479,0,0,1,0,0,2,14.0,0,0,1,1,5,8,1,0,9,0,10,4,1,0,0,22,25,8,0,3,4,1,2,1,0,1,1,1,3,0,4,10,1,0,4,1,0,6,3,4,0,0,2,3,19,4,19,20,3,23,0,2,0,1,8,9,1,3,8,74,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014556587946534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289136078561942,0.0,0.17262973924013825,0.0,0.0,0.14585141165924564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351856695644327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3968760049252439,0.1658659825786707,0.0,0.0,0.1414424415166689,0.0,0.1499644091628986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856116502066929,0.1209599398222774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653063265242606,0.0,0.16242408148489046,0.1924532533508348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33967706656511026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18125711242419512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610414601883385,0.13801577223741496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313787676421052,0.0,0.08271962506500524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514703658643162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889232604140022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541396353275761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046915671752056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213867284302866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248654359570362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18811717000048173,0.11495497781530488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18903613565492966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MovingCouchT,2019/03/26,"Late 20s, had over 50 dates with multiple women, never been in a relationship, because? Some of the girls I was attracted to, but they did not return my interest (potentially acted desperate or missed social cues). Last 20-30 dates went nowhere, not a second date. Is there a root of mental illness, potentially Aspergers?",7.017321428571428,8.860140375000004,7.57,65.72500000000001,64.89285714285714,11.314285714285715,33.64285714285714,11.20814326018867,4.5004428571428585,255,11,39,8,4,84,50,56,0.212,0.757,0.031,-0.8996,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,1,1,8,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,5,0,3,2,6,2,1,11,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,2,7,26,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308972360861791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087515265450722,0.4272737947718024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817153040005187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921340129964351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066617374933928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861125957723359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511274772961354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CriminologyRapz,2019/03/26,"(41/m)Looking for a support group but not sure what my problem is exactly. To be more specific, I have dealt with mild forms of depression and anxiety most of my life. I've always had friends and a social circle but I choose solitude much of the time. I've never had a problem dating but I typically don't last in relationships(aside from 2) due to boredom and eventually a lack of feeling deeply connected.. I've always felt a sense of loneliness and inability to feel 'truly connected' to people even when surrounded by friends. I had a difficult childhood, parents divorced, father was an asshole/cheater, sister had deep emotional problems etc. Broken engagement a couple years ago. Lost my sister to drugs last year.
So I have a bunch of things that led to my current mental state which is not totally debilitating but I feel like it would be great to meet or talk with people who just struggle with life in general lol. I'm not religious or addicted to any alcohol or drugs(although I do drink and smoke weed occasionally) so i wouldnt want something like AA. Just want somewhere to meet like-minded people where we can all talk and share etc.

Does anything exist that is just general support? Or are they very specific to 1 issue? If so, anyone have any idea where I might fit? 

Thanks in advance",4.692037146808929,7.067875307053943,5.435091879075284,76.53604426002768,71.86307053941908,8.573878680102746,30.97826516498716,9.23628265651192,3.0850223671211228,1043,47,178,24,21,338,150,241,0.17600000000000002,0.643,0.181,0.5181,2,0,6,0,1,0,29.0,1,0,1,2,10,18,0,1,10,1,20,6,0,1,5,49,31,19,0,9,15,4,4,2,2,3,5,0,0,0,7,10,2,0,6,1,0,2,6,7,1,0,7,4,15,11,25,19,10,23,0,2,0,0,17,8,0,7,14,116,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12595827319653358,0.0,0.0,0.10242136820151768,0.12347968936095913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228106923028584,0.0,0.0,0.1571455913516322,0.0,0.08838962149930535,0.0,0.0,0.08078993417667148,0.0,0.095081552234955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784547048359768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951650178746957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011119348715376,0.0,0.0,0.11318756679341517,0.13399250437284374,0.0,0.0,0.12996965099541472,0.0,0.0,0.25772064161877256,0.07631466700698848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526513077752648,0.08254351528329655,0.11093882566784027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853554678971909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738590642656009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043330831722078,0.0,0.1205962491334771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883649582126677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322203146612205,0.16934454446192532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702651782699462,0.0,0.12612818095135406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643956564648282,0.12257222981653372,0.11666488887769025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493696016323002,0.0,0.08911342361013287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829616422294368,0.0,0.0,0.2403076608105657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316754239512124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778092853805434,0.0,0.08895018617480878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079000581988107,0.0,0.0,0.26223229776127793,0.10889734677129133,0.0,0.0,0.1857372125865102,0.0,0.10637592041841727,0.0,0.0,0.0767612380106949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737370394338436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533458246950616,0.13629980494353558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207800751419575,0.0,0.0,0.14881103773813992
mentalhealth,minestroneandbread,2019/03/26,"I can’t stop thinking I need some help understanding if this is normal, or whether there may be something else in play.

I can’t stop thinking. I’m always thinking about something. I’ll be thinking about jumping on my PC for a game, then I’m thinking about how fast a 747 can fly. I’m humming a tune in my head, then I’m thinking about a piece of work I did a week ago and how I can improve it. It feels more like I’m talking to myself in my head most of the time, like I’m commentating on things as they happen but with some random thoughts thrown in. For example, it’s quite frustrating watching a film because I’m creating sub plots and character origin stories in my head as it rolls by. I can follow the plot, but I can never just enjoy what’s presented in front of me at face value. The only time I really feel like it’s not a problem is when I’m playing video games. This is a time when constantly thinking in a competitive shooter where strategy is important really helps me out.

I also feel like I have quite an addictive personality. When I start drinking I can’t stop. I love mental stimulation, whether that’s from substances or media. 

I’ve tried to just empty my mind into this post, it may not be very clear for you to read so please ask questions if you have any. I’d really like to understand what’s happening and whether it’s something that everyone experiences. ",4.546441193235797,5.49810549097473,5.6445259357780735,80.56083412502376,69.90252707581227,8.864069922097663,30.824434733041983,9.134995656068208,2.57491046931408,1099,45,217,21,19,365,148,277,0.068,0.7559999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.9821,0,0,4,1,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,3,15,11,1,0,13,0,19,7,4,4,2,52,47,23,0,5,13,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,15,6,1,3,14,8,0,3,6,2,0,0,2,4,24,9,31,40,5,36,0,0,1,1,13,13,0,11,24,135,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876814368551176,0.0,0.0,0.08844343297424599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978905312098887,0.08301977486389965,0.0,0.0,0.06784958949464798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327501267602216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082116816483865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782000724979554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774031682055842,0.0,0.0,0.08334818768010774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533811927794382,0.0,0.09759789862748193,0.0,0.0,0.15134585798683878,0.21383521787327706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764592423258224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071900386623184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375251866367294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437221374580728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004972883379067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005484997968658,0.0,0.1007430720862891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398099113966249,0.0769516873926274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775711711542093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588245310306597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711861329634599,0.0,0.1095216452331662,0.0,0.0,0.09555569798900664,0.0,0.0,0.09547002948875856,0.0,0.0,0.11176946412322376,0.21224338567853787,0.09980077682749652,0.0,0.19175290848161755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23043218325846854,0.0,0.0,0.0706203926290905,0.0,0.0,0.2502460345013539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019438228894346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628526379047567,0.4475170516164215,0.0,0.07920923380249224,0.17453667453121693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773984500673019,0.0,0.0,0.2077360403589414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823238148721055,0.0,0.0,0.08003250534839683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726364976840815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mooskoi,2019/03/26,"not sure if this is the right sub, but I need help about 2 weeks ago, i got these very annoying snd upsetting tiny headaches that persisted very often. They made it hard to focus on things like using the computer or doing school work. after about 10 days they stopped but my head still has this hazy feeling, and I feel disengaged from alot of the things I do. I sometimes will say things but will never have felt the need to say it, or I will just do things but not remember desiring to do them. my emotions feel alot less strong unless I'm captured by some form of media and it makes me emotional. I just feel like my brain is so foggy and confused and I'm really not my normal self and it's honestly at the point where I'm scared I'll never be okay again and will just live like this with this disinterest. I get tired so much earlier when i could usually stay up until 2 am I find myself with heavy eyelids around 11 after a non stressful day

maybe I'm overthinking and psyching myself into it? it's just scary and I dont know what to see or do about it. thanks in advance",5.359926238145416,5.3716074794520585,5.689589041095887,84.27587987355112,67.81278538812785,9.295539164032316,27.80505795574289,9.057496981413335,1.9123618545837728,854,24,180,14,13,273,135,219,0.14800000000000002,0.733,0.119,-0.7876,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,4,15,13,1,4,8,1,17,3,2,3,3,53,36,21,0,6,16,0,6,3,0,4,1,2,0,1,18,12,0,1,8,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,3,9,21,8,23,27,6,25,0,0,1,0,7,9,0,9,17,123,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156674945774107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204153495909376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405006960643923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048847636852204,0.0,0.0,0.1623377804036857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475062599854763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28314973221575485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25455314358050496,0.08991396864425312,0.12084474544479425,0.0,0.11503319628673365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575633316865326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066124637331213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274528621834433,0.0,0.12916803779478064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436089168676379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916902560586892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844656119692312,0.0,0.1111361413873092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909119171956575,0.08401211572933011,0.0,0.12644266726974426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252112836052506,0.1866462760557368,0.19414103091596696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331547324834265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897779865477555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806287438156142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257414656441586,0.10748322573411273,0.0,0.2001768666006251,0.12600719912390884,0.12737641530607488,0.10029363349536753,0.0,0.13129878579106566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244781483923311,0.0,0.0,0.13414935657371624,0.10051146615729033,0.105224080127146,0.14417149844285446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862097936380993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587441048734498,0.0,0.0,0.3344615272998599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144656846547658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087020972047694,0.1386163295282536,0.2076943447212442,0.0,0.0,0.1009568056373383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162713008853324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stefannystrange,2019/03/26,"Mental health in children I’m worried about my 11 year old little sister. Mental illness runs in our family. My grandmother is schizophrenic and my mother has tons of different diagnosis. I myself suffer from severe agoraphobia and anxiety.

In the last few months she has been stating she’s hear voices, seeing things and not sleeping at night. She has been taking to wearing headphones To”drown out the voices”. 

My mom took her to a dr and they just suggested she speak to a school counselor about things.... like really? 

Has anyone ever experienced mental illnesses in children and what did you do? I’m terrier about all these stories I hear in the news where these young children have taken their lives and I don’t want that to happen. ",5.147305764411026,7.790054150375942,5.412199248120302,76.00045426065164,71.40601503759399,8.042355889724309,27.624686716791977,8.841846274778883,2.5828701754385968,594,22,93,12,12,188,92,133,0.118,0.8540000000000001,0.028,-0.9041,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,1,2,0,6,2,0,0,5,0,11,7,2,0,2,13,21,6,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,3,6,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,7,17,1,16,16,3,19,0,1,1,0,19,9,0,0,8,68,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681384349797098,0.0,0.0,0.1159104643181701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319470530642875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994874784476148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627350751142455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465901493215543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176206101768609,0.373670404083821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512493846051152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098700652239871,0.16614541325100599,0.14637823241943107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5011724885024257,0.0,0.0,0.19414819899951985,0.13231629041967904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556421871305015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394806860565412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619671381965456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677684171114809,0.1320974852169068,0.0,0.0,0.18727328054479284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589004052304998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463865265871645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22026087358854154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18417692853215584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777563157145852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683478098704044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675065313320432
mentalhealth,spaghetti_daughter,2019/03/26,Diagnosis For the past couple of sessions my therapist asks me if I am depressed. I have not been diagnosed by them and that question really annoys me. I feel like I am expected to diagnose myself when it's clearly their job. Is this a normal question? Is this how I will get diagnosed? ,2.6784242424242386,5.3461477818181855,4.9340909090909095,76.0144696969697,80.27272727272728,8.757575757575756,29.166666666666664,9.2995712137729,3.395666666666667,228,11,39,7,6,79,45,55,0.121,0.7859999999999999,0.093,-0.3722,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,7,3,0,1,1,10,10,4,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,11,1,4,8,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,33,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19483292496990567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23059898852728775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950111620817058,0.6345878245885177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537711850752328,0.14888639434634476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888434242796023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068123341519652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181740116360352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041951484946756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894858692392928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.466928301432321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133511212199721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24197722691015106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Steph_Grayyy,2019/03/26,"do this HI I'm a film student in England and I'm doing research into audience stuff and who would watch my documentary. its essentially about mental health and how it's represented in the media. Please fill in this form it will take 2 mins tops. 

[https://forms.gle/Vq2Xfd7sSjFfcCJL8](https://forms.gle/Vq2Xfd7sSjFfcCJL8)",8.60639455782313,12.975442734693878,6.619489795918366,62.149914965986426,70.63265306122447,7.348299319727893,24.493197278911573,8.344100000000001,2.1133238095238096,270,8,37,5,6,79,41,49,0.0,0.882,0.118,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,7,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,5,1,7,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,1,24,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44402310105778653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4209694599602471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585376006694125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781962187942459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140778923641499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967404962911572,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,quarkalark,2019/03/26,"Am I? Does anyone else get the feeling like they really just don’t fit in the world?

A lot of days feel like I’m watching fish in an aquarium. I don’t understand or grasp the unwritten social laws most people seem to follow naturally and without question, resulting in unknowingly repelling people.

Most people would probably never know the nature of the things I think about - how dark and deep it can get. On the outside I am a functional member of society, generally attractive and articulate. I get by in life.

But I feel like I don’t belong. Everyone seems to play by a different rule book and I truly don’t understand. Social ostracism is such a devastating thing and I feel like the way I am just naturally pushes people away.

I have a big heart, I love so deeply, I’m a big thinker. I have a lot of flaws, but doesn’t everyone? Why are mine so unforgivable? Don’t I deserve to be loved and tended to like anyone else?

I wish I could just explain to everyone, but I don’t think it would be listened to. Just heard and passed off as some other facet of instability.

I want to be asked about and listened to, I want to be cherished and loved for me.



Am I really that bad?



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mentalhealth,mynameiztaylor,2019/03/26,"Mental Health Issues I don’t intend to offend anyone with anything I say, so I’m hoping nothing I bring up is out of hand. 

Let me give y’all a little background information: I’m a 19 year old female. I live with my mom and stepdad, and I’m not currently doing much of anything with my life. I graduated high school in May of 2017, and I took a little break until January of 2018 when I started the process of trying to enlist in the Air Force. That was my dream. 

It didn’t work out. I got a kidney stone two weeks before I was supposed to ship off to basic training in March of 2018. They told me I couldn’t leave with a pre-existing medical condition, and I’ve had it ever since. (The doctor considered it an elective surgery since it wasn’t causing me any harm. If I want it gone, I have to pay for it out of pocket.)

I tried to wait it out, and I tried everything I could think of to get rid of that little 3 mm life-ruiner. I stayed in touch with my recruiter, and I drank absolutely nothing but water for months. (Unless you count the times that I drank pomegranate juice, beer, lemon juice, etc -stuff that is supposed to make you pee to help flush out your kidneys.)

I didn’t have a back-up plan, and I didn’t want a back-up plan tbh. I had my mind set on one goal, and I didn’t wanna settle for anything else. 

I managed to get a job at the Dairy Queen here in May of 2018 to try to pass a little more time. 
Dairy Queen was miserable. Customers were rude, and the “management” was trash. The pay was definitely not worth it. To anybody on here who works/has worked in the fast food industry, I applaud you. I did it for 8 months, and I was unhappy the entire time. 

I put in my two weeks in January of this year, thinking it wouldn’t be very difficult to find a new job. 

I was absolutely wrong. 

I’ve applied to so many different places. I’ve been to at least four interviews. I should’ve listened when people told me to find a new job before I quit Dairy Queen, but I hated that place so much that a part of me doesn’t regret it. My only good decision in that situation though was that I had a bit of money saved up. About 1200, and that’s what I’ve been using to pay for my subscriptions, gas, hygiene items, and phone bill the last couple months, so I’m down to only a couple hundred now. I HAVE to find a new job. And soon. 

Coming back to what this post was originally meant for, I’ve always struggled with mental health. 

During my sophomore and junior years of high school, I struggled with anxiety issues. Pretty severely. I couldn’t walk through crowded areas alone. I had panic attacks all the time. They’d cause me to run out of my classrooms in tears for no apparent reason and hide in bathroom stalls. And they were constant. I couldn’t give presentations without freaking out. I stopped caring about my grades. I couldn’t eat lunch in the cafeteria. I couldn’t sleep. It was awful. 

I brought it up to the pediatrician I was still seeing at the time. Of course, my mom was with me, and she was 100% against me taking any sort of actual medication, and the only “mental health” person she wanted to allow me to see was with a religious affiliation. He preached at the church we went to, and I wasn’t comfortable talking to him because I didn’t feel like it would be confidential. 

The pediatrician diagnosed me with Panic Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder, but he agreed with my mom. He told her to pick me up some Melatonin to take, and he blamed my anxiety completely on a lack of sleep. 

I knew it wouldn’t help, and I told my mom that, but she wouldn’t consider letting me do anything that she didn’t want done. Her solution was to buy me an “herbal” sort of medication. L-Theanine. 

It didn’t do much of anything. I just sort of learned to push the anxiety back. It was always there though. At the edge of my mind. 

I pretty much had it all under control by my senior year of high school. The random panic attacks stopped. I still got anxious over stuff, but it wasn’t anything severe. 

Then I started dating a guy who completely messed me up. It was somebody I’d been chasing after since my freshman year when he was a senior. 

He was emotionally abusive. Manipulative. 

He told me I was pathetic and that I’d never amount to anything. He told me I wasn’t a good person and that nobody would want me after he was done with me because he had ruined me for everyone else. He told me I was self-centered and that I made him want to kill himself. He constantly called me a f*cking dumb*ss and a god*mn cunt and a stupid b*tch and the list goes on. He blame shifted and gaslighted- you name it, he did it. 

And, in his eyes, all of it was my fault.

The guy would cut himself and blame it on me. He would ignore me for days at a time- no texts, no calls, nothing- then he’d get upset when I got upset. He would get drunk. He would yell at me.

He was a sick man. All of the things he told me he wanted to do to me- chain me up to his ceiling, tie me up in his closet and leave me there for days, carve his name into my skin, cut me, burn me, hit me, KILL me, etc. He talked about watching the life drain from my eyes. 

He liked to see me crying when we were having sex. He would tell me how worthless I was while he was f*cking me, and he’d wrap his hands around my throat to the point that I’d see black. He would hit me so hard that my ears would ring, and he would make me bleed during sex because I was raw, and he wouldn’t listen when I asked him to stop. 

I’m into BDSM too, but he didn’t want just some pleasurable pain. He was an actual sadist, and he got off on GENUINELY hurting me. 

But I was trapped, you know?

Not physically. But mentally. I was reliant on him. Extremely co-dependent. I couldn’t make a decision without him. Not talking to him for more than a couple hours would send me into a full-blown panic attack. My chest was always hurting. I was paranoid. I distanced myself from everyone else. My life was not my own. That’s what happens in abusive relationships. 

Over a year later, it all came to an end. 

He tossed me aside without a second thought, and I was devastated. 

I laid in bed for days, refused to eat, and cried until I had nothing left. By then, I was empty, and I didn’t have any clue who I was anymore. 

Eventually, I adjusted to life without him. After five years of being obsessed with him, that was hard. There were times when I could feel him. If that makes any sense. I remember I was standing in the shower one day when, all of a sudden, I just felt like he was behind me, and all I could think about was this time that he pinned me against a hotel shower’s wall by my throat and just stared into my eyes with this insane look until his grip was squeezing so hard that I actually couldn’t breathe and my vision was dotted with black. Then he just let me go and left the bathroom. And, after that memory, I curled up in a ball on the floor of my shower and rocked myself back and forth while I cried. 

Sometimes the awful stuff he used to say to me just repeats itself in my head. Over and over again. Mostly when I’m really upset. 

I’m not the same person I used to be. Not at all. 

Half the time, I feel like I’m two different people. Maybe more. I see stuff in so many different ways. You can ask me what I think about something, and I can’t ever give a direct or distinct answer because I don’t have one. I have multiple answers, some of which contradict others. 

I have moments when I get really depressed and overwhelmed and all I can can think about is “what am I going to do now” “how do I even start the process of college” “it isn’t worth it” “idk where to begin” “I can’t even find a job”  “this ain’t what I want to do” and it sends me down into a spiral where I have so much going through my head that I can’t focus on one thing, and I just don’t even want to be alive. 

Not to say I’m suicidal because ten minutes later, I’ll be almost euphoric.  

I’ll go from not texting anyone. Avoiding leaving the house because I can’t stand to leave my dog because it makes me feel guilty. Not wanting social interaction. Being so tired I don’t want to move. Having absolutely no motivation..

To having so much energy that I feel like I am about to implode because there’s no where to burn it. I’ll text multiple people at a time, and I’ll start thinking about working out and going skydiving, and I’ll be so happy that I just feel a little crazy. 

Then something small will happen and I’ll crash back down into an even deeper depression. 

All I can think during those moments is that I’m falling behind everyone that I went to high school with. All I can think is that I’ve failed at everything I’ve tried to do so far. I feel useless. Pathetic. Frustrated. Confused. Angry. Desperate. 

I know it’s not hopeless and I know I’m only 19 and I know that I have my whole life ahead of me. Nobody had to tell me that. A part of me already knows it. 

I just can’t control it. 

My mom accused me of having manic depression. 

My friends just call the mood swings weird through text and go with the flow. I try not to ever let it affect them in person. 

It’s like this all the time. 

But the depression is getting worse. 

Idk what’s wrong with me, and I think I need to start seeing a professional, but we live in a small town, and I don’t have health insurance or a job, and I don’t want my mom involved. Her solutions are always the same.

Advice?
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mentalhealth,OrangeO5,2019/03/26,"Why is someone who sexually abused me as a child so nice to me now? Its confusing. It doesnt make sense. Why would you do that to me for so long as a kid? And you confuse me. You act like you care about me so much now, like you want the best for me. You make me think I'm just all in my head and crazy and making everything up and that I'm a stupid piece of shit. Because why, why couldn't you just at the very least leave me alone after the years of sexual abuse and gaslighting to not further confuse me and continue to make me doubt my perception of if I remember things right?",3.5657926829268303,3.8820773983739842,4.4127540650406525,90.80986280487808,71.76422764227642,8.426422764227643,25.131097560975608,8.472884824447931,1.1910658536585363,452,12,108,7,8,146,76,123,0.202,0.679,0.12,-0.8690000000000001,0,1,0,0,2,0,10.0,0,7,0,1,8,11,2,4,6,0,5,2,2,4,1,25,14,12,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,0,0,20,5,16,12,5,12,0,0,0,0,10,5,1,5,8,73,26,0,0.0,0.3691738613883284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135255380455255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949687840402548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349310569230435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883936837339646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001495906282976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159886573053934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496023785153488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222328499416068,0.0,0.0,0.13787018544467036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159669685565469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452435448582185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648090107624814,0.13304471382241667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599172840843031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200125938869595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350065761492937,0.09982462053837857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854394007642034,0.0918896034641666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5623087988011659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066949900233207,0.0,0.0,0.1003243346864184
mentalhealth,YayangAro,2019/03/26,"Suggestions for a zine title about mental health Me and my group are in need of a title of a zine. The zine will have a focus on mental health and we need a catchy/punny/meme title that isn't insensitive. The theme is ""Coming together to Connect, Share, Speak Out, and Celebrate. Thanks for taking the time to read this",5.463870967741936,6.189088451612908,5.8711290322580645,80.57669354838713,67.70967741935483,8.780645161290323,23.56451612903225,8.841846274778883,1.4793419354838702,252,5,48,4,4,81,43,62,0.0,0.8270000000000001,0.173,0.8579,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,8,0,5,2,0,0,0,8,10,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,10,9,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,31,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22798094725843465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5626418941962017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.533429575593096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924837146781267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26473137905838856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899120098023684,0.0,0.0,0.2436631473463217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15432523344241794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spaghatta111,2019/03/26,"Can PTSD cause delusions/hallucinations, similar to schizophrenia? My ex is a veteran with PTSD.  He has had many episodes of depression, and a few incidents where he fought with people physically because he perceived that he was being threatened.  

I'm recently learning that he's been saying some bizarre things on Facebook.  Long, nonsensical ramblings about how everyone who has wronged him is part of the FBI and they are all trying to put him in jail.  He even made a nonchalant reference to me and my family, alluding to us trying to put him in jail.  

Could this be a PTSD symptom or something worse?",7.435674603174603,8.686388361111117,7.143809523809527,71.32500000000002,63.53703703703704,10.986243386243386,38.57671957671958,10.914260884657429,4.613916402116402,485,25,80,13,7,153,80,108,0.157,0.843,0.0,-0.949,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,1,0,4,3,1,0,5,0,12,1,0,3,1,15,15,5,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,5,1,8,0,13,7,4,8,0,1,0,0,15,4,0,2,2,54,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305364410724037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17366484880205493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497572517663745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560581385807966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116584586402737,0.0,0.0,0.16153817676265475,0.0,0.0,0.1593689031061869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960731747172712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599628190753786,0.0,0.1713940469779214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18306882094356616,0.0,0.11720063808573132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5928446328184542,0.3398915791176544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692025979245007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443838890500925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014589558695194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571165626581636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231185112566228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22955290369575285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20335093936296295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17228029283508334,0.0,0.1848338217924856,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lavvalamp,2019/03/26,"Does anyone know of any suicide hotlines that won’t just give me resources to the nearest hospital? I really don’t have money to rack up a hospital bill I just need somebody to talk to. I’m genuinely feeling suicidal and I’m so exhausted from keeping it to myself that it’s causing me severe manic episodes. I just want a hotline I can talk to when I’m feeling this way, I just need to be talked down. Every one that I’ve called have just told me what hospitals are nearby. ",4.021830357142857,5.2549519270833365,5.368988095238095,80.99625000000003,71.39583333333334,8.402380952380952,31.42261904761905,8.841846274778883,2.6732369047619042,379,17,72,7,7,127,64,96,0.158,0.797,0.046,-0.9266,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,1,0,14,19,3,2,3,5,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,3,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,9,0,11,16,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767948404126015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156447352420068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20673390806983225,0.0,0.0,0.2079817995145668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717377756244895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058096162029013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20473933391597451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942177155494819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799554124588323,0.0,0.0,0.11126651221797887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002424853218374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137191878013904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970081666321928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287217424364819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44291592688083853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4881881198744867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345884285249532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941592925480099,0.1607030224088538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,drkcty,2019/03/26,"If You Like Keeping Track... I use these “daily/weekly logs” to keep track of my eating disorder, while also keeping tabs on my homework from uni, emotions throughout the day, self-injury urges/action, and another log specifically for self care. If anyone wants to access these or edit them or whatever, feel free to message me, I will send the links to these logs! I find them helpful for being able to see what went wrong/right during a given day/week.

This is NOT a product or service. Totally free, and just wanted to share.",5.46734693877551,6.925189408163266,5.643469387755103,79.5372448979592,68.18367346938776,7.6408163265306115,28.285714285714285,7.957251820313856,1.9368204081632656,414,14,71,5,7,131,74,98,0.027000000000000003,0.8,0.174,0.9312,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,2,0,2,5,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,1,1,19,14,9,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,2,1,3,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,9,7,11,10,1,5,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,5,3,44,14,3,0.17980859909285613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437928717314995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18854499394942612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257263532438931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332685039010566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23192334244126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060762324468818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839890861379661,0.0,0.20226047240367048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909166303452494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643418020634406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052191376934185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4794664337394331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878453990336092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355556116780508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328417357920362,0.0,0.3751591673043671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529689793351695,0.0,0.0,0.2121115408502577,0.0,0.2884632246095752,0.0,0.0,0.16668437278434592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659247628126625,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway8636743,2019/03/26,"I use to think about torturing people when I was 10 years old I don't want to make this long, but I want to see if other people feel the same way. 

When I was a kid I thought about torturing children around my own age, it was obsessive when I was a child but now I only think about it once every few months. I would think about it all day long and it would make me happy to think of them getting hurt, in particular this one kid at my school. It originally started when I was 8 years old from this one time my friend pranked this kid, he put a carrot under a rag and stuck a pin into it pretending it was his finger, the kid started the cry and looked so scared, this excited me and from then on I thought of all the ways I could torture him. I still think about him to this day.

I was abused by my father during that time period (8-14) and im sure this factored into it. At a age of 10 whenever I walked on the footpath my OCD would try to make me run out onto the road, I did this alot just before cars were coming trying to kill myself in a sense, but I didnt know what was happening. I've suffered with depression my whole life. Sometimes I would see a kid and would get these thoughts of me torturing and killing them and that would make me so happy.

I've never killed or hurt anyone in that way, I have only killed 2 mice from my sick desires in my whole life. I dont plan on ever doing that to anyone.

I'd like to know if this is normal, I havent thought in that way like I use to for 8 years now.",4.609937694704051,3.916376925233649,5.444127725856699,87.79397975077883,69.46728971962617,8.628660436137071,26.24454828660436,7.793537801064563,1.1400043613707165,1167,27,273,12,18,383,150,321,0.206,0.6859999999999999,0.108,-0.9907,0,0,0,0,1,1,25.0,0,0,2,1,17,21,8,2,15,0,24,4,1,7,5,58,54,21,4,13,7,1,2,2,1,6,3,0,0,7,25,14,0,0,12,1,0,5,5,14,0,2,16,5,41,7,41,31,8,54,0,4,3,0,15,17,0,4,30,182,66,1,0.0,0.09697746007446244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144611870687453,0.0,0.0,0.07286279704178121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964731190603621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050550550934542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534961754451735,0.0,0.08990707839269549,0.10557142715052527,0.0,0.07049626320163427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592619993681764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740369378155137,0.06896115555096764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04138521942738774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323619033662857,0.0,0.08552525381999783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237863553834233,0.1742591680553988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17524169554819696,0.0,0.08841076399260228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622143412596216,0.0,0.08996393482360335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562447517613601,0.07997439194318566,0.0,0.0,0.1448672487714967,0.0687323892561818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21853887452262108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653309421157895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312685085168117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019445915914704,0.0,0.0,0.17177312279817672,0.08716631520568498,0.11092574869059554,0.12449942195174996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348732321834727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228066444122853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194494103388299,0.08283536904188835,0.13044581484221499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095056949869997,0.0,0.11586602304996055,0.0,0.06536456825287447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714153815759635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622270741569634,0.0,0.2599152615231637,0.09545340281765903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113994344627076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413821909801359,0.0,0.0,0.09655310175744893,0.2598711138823689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827625547433518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488582928574173,0.0,0.0,0.1581238572789716
mentalhealth,JacksonSL2H,2019/03/26,"I feel completely destroyed in my head. I’m at 23 year old male I’ll be 24 this year. Due to a slipped disc and surgery. I just spent the last 9 months of my life moved back in with my parents. Now let me start by saying my parents and I have an absolutely idiotic fucked up relationship. Always have always will. 

Now the last 9 months have been the worst 9 months I’ve ever lived. We have an incredibly toxic relationship and I most likely will never speak to the again I feel completely destroyed, mentally exhausted, and I’ve become extremely introverted and have severe OCD type thoughts. They just won’t stop, I have this constant pressure in my forehead and nose and I’ve lost all sense of myself and personality. I feel lost and out of touch with reality and other people. I’ve never been so stressed out and felt like shit every single day, day after day for months on end. I can’t even remember who I was 9 months ago. The OCD thoughts are the worst part. Things that constantly pop up in my head like “he doesn’t give a shit maybe if I show this guy respect, this guy has an ego.” I can’t even hold a normal conversation anymore I can’t remember who I am. 

Not to mention my mother is horrifically controlling. Like absolutely fucking horrifically controlling and weird. I’ve lost all sense of who I am and myself and I’m terrified at the moment. I feel destroyed, completely destroyed, like there is nothing left of me.",3.460108303249097,5.685074837545128,4.663329963898917,81.3635292418773,74.9927797833935,7.897703971119133,26.603465703971118,8.726425361277474,2.0821969386281585,1138,43,219,24,25,374,143,277,0.238,0.718,0.044,-0.9956,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,1,5,11,24,9,2,13,0,24,10,6,2,5,43,41,16,0,2,4,3,6,5,0,3,2,2,0,4,10,19,0,4,9,1,1,1,8,18,0,0,10,9,28,6,24,26,7,42,0,3,0,2,20,12,4,2,34,135,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808331467645778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658994991644422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735807944883901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773303549726907,0.0,0.0,0.09728455293820136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770708708661445,0.19038029781035912,0.1975928663380281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704254007499791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801844084717846,0.0,0.0,0.1163605263817882,0.0796792284811407,0.07421662526293278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781566040839687,0.0,0.08457679668382229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628689896827341,0.0,0.08450054025632976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443885006183865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18080420179474246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360441150521167,0.0,0.0,0.09570617534670096,0.09007435345583664,0.06221805795458533,0.2151729270651351,0.0,0.07778194078478147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884702659922439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884946691101167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877041387765462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35154878208924284,0.09362194592685068,0.0,0.0,0.1358753865493349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630600917322459,0.0845213153694906,0.0,0.09243190157634423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956191357079366,0.0953890311065218,0.0,0.06106804672932445,0.07691368219702709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18914374334567188,0.19956953133484434,0.0,0.0,0.07004987302083397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995126049627937,0.1808389306855188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062348035968232775,0.0,0.0,0.07364420851232986,0.10090271998606436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585207169928701,0.0,0.0,0.13986158882100647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344955931632665
mentalhealth,mysticwolfmusic,2019/03/26,"My Mental Health/Abuse Rant Coming out about how much my father's abuse has affected my mental health is one of the hardest things I can do. Whenever I rant about him to a few select friends of mine, I feel like I am releasing a part of me that I don't want to keep anymore. So sharing this is one of the only things I can do to help better myself and heal this part of me that I usually don't talk about at all.

​

[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IRuceicv40daBvUwBVO6--Ap\_jxWsyvNuM1oy9vFgSw/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IRuceicv40daBvUwBVO6--Ap_jxWsyvNuM1oy9vFgSw/edit?usp=sharing)",17.27335164835165,17.014714769230768,12.344038461538466,47.08221153846157,44.164835164835175,11.2978021978022,33.739010989010985,9.516144504307137,2.7581406593406594,528,10,74,5,4,147,57,91,0.125,0.72,0.155,0.5901,0,0,0,0,2,0,40.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,4,0,10,2,0,2,1,9,14,3,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,15,4,13,14,5,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,58,21,0,0.0,0.39889035408414986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182386995898776,0.20454106942767625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693951161089926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488754393631375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500259150894587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851134109852198,0.12025598205366785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300524180306559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578568022066721,0.0,0.0,0.11282898563685295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496206780267177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223821673455686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3392769079112351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374294361012543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281314190857681,0.12802361102124588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645729935096749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135298398831468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236637979119222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539324965232085,0.0,0.09928621794791123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20454106942767625,0.0
mentalhealth,SmallBeginnings-,2019/03/26,"becoming happier and learning how to accept intrusive thoughts as best i can i’m not sure where to start here, but i’m just gonna say that i’ve been happier this last week than i have been before in previous months. i was having intrusive thoughts that would always make me believe i was a bad person or i should not be thinking these thoughts that i’m having, just these intrusive thoughts that would consume me. i’ve learned that i should accept these thoughts and let them pass, but i will admit it is quite difficult at times. i haven’t really talked about it with much people, only one person and it was very brief, so i wanted to talk about it somewhere, why not with internet friends? to get to know me a little more i am 16,  meaning i am in high school, and my family is not finically unstable or anything, which is common in my indigenous reservation. at that age and being finically stable, i thought that there’s people who have it way worse than me and what i was, and still currently but not as bad, going through shouldn’t be valid. i am learning, i am improving, i am healing, and i am becoming more happy with life. it all started with me putting in effort to trying to get ‘better.’ i meditate every night before bed, i do a daily journal of the things i did throughout the day (which is helping me realize that i am not as bad as a person i made myself out to be because of my intrusive thoughts), i am using essential oils (to heal the mind and nothing more), waking up earlier to listen to a motivational video then proceeded it with meditation, using breathing exercises during school or at home (oak meditation app), i try to let my thoughts pass like a cloud in a blue sky, trying not to think my mind has to be perfect, being grateful for someone when waking up, i am reading a book called “don’t sweat the small stuff... and it’s all small stuff,” along with many other things i am trying to learn. it all has been very helpful on my journey to tranquility. if anyone has taken the time to read this, i thank you. i hope any of you can find any help from my routine, and don’t forget, it will all be alright. life is not an emergency, take time to settle down and learn how to promote a positive mental health. i am still a learner, as i always will be, and i’ve realized that i cannot simply get rid of intrusive thoughts immediately, time will do that, but in the meantime i will help it get better. you all matter and have a purpose in life. “this too shall pass.” thank you for reading. 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mentalhealth,AyyyRosayyy,2019/03/26,"Are these panic attacks? First of all, I know that Reddit is not a good place to diagnose myself from, but I don’t have money for a therapist, and many people in this community are very knowledgable in this topic. 

I’ve been recently having episodes that I am not sure are panic attacks are not. I’ll give one example, where I remember my symptoms best. 

I was in a rehearsal, talking to my friend (I don’t want to get into it but the topic was something I was very insecure about) and I had a small audition later in the rehearsal, but I didn’t know when. I began to feel so insecure from the conversation that I had the overwhelming feeling that I needed to get out of that room. I could feel pressure rising in my chest, like I was about to start sobbing. I started sweating and fidgeting, with an extreme urge to snap my hairband on my wrist, something I always do when I’m frustrated. All I could think was, “I need to get out of here, I need to get out of here.” I mumbled to my friend that I was going to get water and I ran to the bathroom. 

I sat in a stall, my breath coming in short gasps. I felt like I was about to cry, but I didn’t let myself, because I knew I needed to go back to rehearsal. I sat in the stall for about a minute, until I got my breathing regular. Then I composed myself and walked back to the room. With my luck, my audition was just about to begin. Needless to say, I did awful. It was bad enough that singing in front of people is an insecurity of mine, I had to do it right after a breakdown. I didn’t get the part.

Right after the rehearsal finished, I ran to the bathroom again and cried. Partially because I was embarrassed and disappointed by my performance, but mostly because I didn’t get to cry before. I was miserable for the rest of the day. 

Another big trigger of mine is when I’m in a place that’s very loud, crowded, or disorganized, especially when I’m trying to focus. 
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mentalhealth,Gudetamaisbae69,2019/03/26,"Tried to meditate I tried meditating before bed to practice healthier coping skills. The specific one I did was for sleeping, which made a lot of sense to me. I followed the instructions, but had a hard time laying on my back, as I usually feel vulnerable and uncomfortable like something will come get me. This initial thought threw off my whole meditation and my auditory hallucinations began. Idk if I even got half way through the guided meditation, but I had to turn it off. I'm kind of mad at myself for fucking up coping. ",7.192817869415804,8.010054690721653,7.989226804123714,66.57841065292098,63.94845360824743,11.415120274914091,36.785223367697604,11.20814326018867,4.4688914089347085,423,20,72,12,6,142,73,97,0.138,0.8290000000000001,0.033,-0.8569,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,2,0,5,0,5,2,1,1,0,10,17,6,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,9,2,12,2,15,7,2,13,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,2,5,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18433744366021868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20399243063961464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20650602368875634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833929351240353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121460645798375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216263673200371,0.125248943070115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917338468986896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21475084230695773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496417300733393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711988700601765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038097308900489,0.0,0.2268381640682282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244713885326928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399029626574701,0.0,0.0,0.1845557373057295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903187090334999,0.13978839326826134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255216401652562,0.2607572177572477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26402854187661684,0.0,0.0,0.1902863826439155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676497968959717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ExternusIsHere,2019/03/26,"Extreme deja vu and anxiety I saw this guy on YouTube (not going to say his name) and I immediately felt like I had seen him before. I don't know from where or when, but I just know that I saw him someplace. He has 1 million subscribers, so I definitely would have recognized him off of the small screen. I haven't been able to shake this thought from my head (its extreme deja vu) and I feel like I'm losing my mind. Worse things worst, I barely know him; my brother watches his channel, not me. I am confused on what is going on... and suggestions?",2.9216565656565656,4.549477872727274,4.08757575757576,87.52580808080809,74.81818181818181,6.707070707070707,26.767676767676768,7.3871296695380915,1.2889191919191916,426,16,89,5,9,139,74,110,0.145,0.7490000000000001,0.106,-0.6619,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,2,1,0,9,1,1,0,0,19,21,8,0,1,5,1,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,6,1,0,3,4,4,0,1,7,8,21,2,9,13,1,10,0,1,5,0,12,6,0,2,3,60,27,0,0.24607722849855154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882484062583985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093935970079844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244240405222931,0.17579762120792036,0.236272729421218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797027196153659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436551444203182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525462297216545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4057128279219387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24044180800693124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27529747457255904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484678520510573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19569048891878887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634827762900702,0.0,0.0,0.19535783233469392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507737188058001,0.17480620282476986,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Major_Ziggy,2019/03/26,"Struggling with my wife's mental illness [Utah, USA]  I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe I'm hoping someone here has been through something similar or has some words of encouragement, but I'm just feeling really worn down and out of options. My wife and I have been married for a little over a year and she has severe depression, I suffer from it too, but not nearly to the same extent. I love her more than anything and all I want to do is help her, but on a weekly basis for the past long while it feels like I'm trying to talk her off a ledge and it's starting to wear me down too. She gets to the point where she tells me to leave because she's ""a worthless parasite and a horrible person."" I try over and over to tell her how much I love her and convince her that she has value and is a good person, but she thinks I'm lying or just doesn't believe me. She needs real therapy and probably medication, but with me in school and her working retail, we simply can't afford it. I only have a year left in grad school and I will be able to get a good job and support her after that so I've been trying to help her however I can until then, but I'm starting to think she won't make it that long and I don't know what to do. If I leave school to support her, she'll just feel even worse because she'll be keeping me from my dream, but if I don't I'm honestly terrified that either she'll leave or attempt suicide. When I'm around her I can usually help calm her down, but she often gets like this at work where I can't do anything. I want to get her out of customer service because she's always had a hard time dealing with angry and unreasonable customers, but neither of us know how to get out of that sinkhole and into a new field without higher education or experience. I've been rambling a while now and it's probably been a grammatical nightmare, but if you got this far, thanks for listening. 

TL;DR: My wife is depressed and I want to help but don't know how. ",6.660560975609754,5.027642348780488,7.284512195121953,79.34896341463416,65.7560975609756,10.053658536585367,33.42682926829269,8.697196308434329,2.509917073170732,1553,53,328,19,20,517,189,410,0.136,0.695,0.16899999999999998,0.9156,3,0,1,0,0,1,34.0,2,1,0,3,17,19,0,1,16,0,34,5,1,4,1,78,73,45,1,8,24,3,4,2,0,5,2,1,0,2,15,27,0,1,9,1,1,0,11,5,0,0,8,5,55,14,50,58,8,41,0,4,0,2,47,23,0,11,20,230,70,8,0.08871629941991198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381906803193647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460119106079683,0.07897631543144926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622418980743732,0.0,0.0,0.09995288934572648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09146260918229412,0.1528224373862064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859627906350483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678156415585478,0.0,0.0,0.13457287983974495,0.06337894203193993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317530240833927,0.0,0.0,0.14882204567421098,0.07095452903429078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947237862315885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378586617673404,0.0,0.0,0.08811530294959707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803723802469388,0.07885512319214942,0.0,0.0,0.1950246321180632,0.0,0.0,0.2818132543898713,0.09639051890012312,0.0,0.0,0.08668460532638622,0.08891703862686627,0.0,0.1570222664949765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16013984788411126,0.0,0.059218818756146215,0.0,0.0891274470484091,0.0,0.0,0.08937233823749251,0.08940516351895751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521668790187676,0.06578201189971652,0.0,0.08568275480600387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747274341840266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468974625482717,0.0,0.15492730141255526,0.0,0.0,0.08386557859395302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913023515012784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097857120956803,0.056833933119073414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693568940503888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002241662538372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516903260321821,0.06829814157968486,0.0,0.0,0.12558770669940175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274553852742322,0.0,0.09704123232732303,0.2013484104920069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130680096003053,0.15508391204437186,0.0816780490951229,0.10145482008882968,0.0,0.0,0.11369164492222796,0.0,0.0,0.051731187629331904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069763144584475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671478485231596,0.0,0.09770847006665836,0.0,0.15698151587376996,0.0,0.07116286410996556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005266128881529,0.0,0.0,0.0855193467922676,0.0,0.12917304516744488,0.0,0.09040948835438924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142607762965838
mentalhealth,xxEternalDarknessxx,2019/03/26,"How do I go about seeking professional help? I want to see about getting help but I'm too anxious/scared to. I don't have any irl friends and my parents think I don't need help and that I simply just need to ""get out more and get a job"". Any of my other family live too far away to help. I live in a smallish town (the closest towns/cities are about 40 minute to an hour drive away and we don't have any buses or trains that come through). And if I do somehow get the courage to seek help there is a chance that my parents could find out (someone that I know may see me going and tell my parents, etc) and I want to avoid having to be lectured by them.

So how do I go about trying to get help? What advice do you guys have?",1.4875384615384633,2.8851457935483893,2.610967741935486,97.57952853598015,78.16129032258064,5.285359801488834,21.60049627791563,5.369823440869387,-0.2246873449131513,558,15,135,2,13,178,88,155,0.018000000000000002,0.7809999999999999,0.201,0.9802,4,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,1,1,0,12,3,0,1,6,0,16,0,0,2,0,28,34,13,0,6,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,11,0,1,3,0,0,5,3,1,0,0,0,2,18,2,21,31,2,14,0,0,2,0,15,8,0,4,1,87,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964192307455924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497796991432428,0.0,0.0,0.13831653619547712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300631527328205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546678626237024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775426891991712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654722726200508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542068465516145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190323916637132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459286508336227,0.0,0.3198357915281196,0.0,0.20874764843625304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122975540383417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4923930140225609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057366932614967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214977013523043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728699423412494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162244397468068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18156778689271647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4078482511053416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951294551169631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373865513143107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070134596046105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784513112345627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312522955463438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14443049904339714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,idontwannabesick,2019/03/27,"Only here for The Avengers: Endgame As titled. 

I've only recently gotten into the MCU.  I've watched a few of the older movies, and all of the other movies that came out after 2016.

I've been suicidal for most of my teenage years. Now that I'm turning twenty in a few weeks, I just don't see my life ever changing. It's always ""just wait till X, make it till then"" and then X goes by, and then it's still all pointless and I go for the next checkpoint. It's always been about X. 

Endgame feels like it'll be my last X. I just want to see how the story ends (and, here comes the cheesy line) before I end mine.",1.630613107822409,3.1445428294573645,2.7960394644115603,95.90391120507401,78.06976744186046,5.3110641296687815,20.254404510218464,5.565023196281405,-0.2712542635658917,471,11,109,2,11,151,80,129,0.038,0.93,0.032,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,9,0,5,1,0,2,3,21,17,12,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,9,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,4,8,1,16,11,5,23,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,18,67,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332419074951017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170394843004531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290284082636869,0.0,0.0,0.21183402192931264,0.17249444685572704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547175514082222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811342326123188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125054038771353,0.14305598879010314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380458065053276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632274519569229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143987582535447,0.09783022191816207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13366595276824164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21296419997315774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30459265227987514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19771905238103502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31914073253286523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991694497174416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21903693875166455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178104601368284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181104493864546,0.0,0.16062549427310574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895204470907026
mentalhealth,Big8Nate,2019/03/27,"#I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH #NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER
say you are “useless” as this will cause you to believe you actually are
#WHEN YOU ARE NOT!! AND I REPEAT NOT!!!",0.02124999999999844,2.360606125000004,2.024750000000001,91.94525,97.125,3.8100000000000014,15.775,5.6839178017228535,-0.5389824999999999,124,3,25,1,5,41,21,32,0.08,0.804,0.116,0.3055,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,8,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,7,0,2,5,1,4,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.310853110073668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588901400824421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32723255772505955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291412276363985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469879305254647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4913617251345701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25331906923758474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364891212619448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lana_Katt,2019/03/27,"Feel like I'm going a bit crazy I talked to my dad on the phone just now he commented on the fact that I seemed overexcited and ""off"" and he seemed concerned about my mental state. He asked it I was sleeping enough. Also, in class yesterday I kept raising my hand to answer questions in class and the professor approached me after to ask if I was ""okay"", and said I seemed ""disturbed"" (exact words he used). The thing is, I didn't think I acted much differently than usual. I raise my hand often in class. I think it was because my thoughts were more disorganized. I sometimes talk fast and may sound a bit incoherent/go off on tangents. I also had a guy in another class ask me if I was ""on something"" half jokingly. I think it's because I sound overexcited and because I ramble/ I sound nervous. Other people seem to think I sound crazy for some reason. Even my uber driver joked that I took too much caffeine when I told him I was up studying for an exam. Also, during an exam this person kept clicking there pen a bit and I got so frustrated that I slammed my hand on the desk (people turned around to look at me) and I had to put my hands over my ears to stop myself from getting angrier. I also swear I handed in a 12 page paper last week, yet my professor claims he never got it. I vividly remember being in class and submitting it. Thankfully he let me just email it now, and it was on my computer. I think he probably misplaced it. Or maybe I am just crazy. idk. I am a 23 year old female",3.166591415830545,4.753749665551844,4.462729933110367,85.2566812987737,74.0836120401338,7.391360089186176,25.836259754738016,8.07648339933343,1.5489028985507245,1166,40,234,18,24,385,161,299,0.085,0.853,0.061,-0.5832,2,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,0,18,8,1,2,13,1,16,7,7,2,3,43,44,19,0,2,6,1,6,1,0,1,0,6,0,2,14,11,0,3,15,2,0,5,2,3,0,1,18,15,47,5,31,23,9,38,0,0,3,0,22,18,0,11,15,157,61,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32301498475326634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588643514193254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989369435251812,0.2832082749971911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846695875465264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307323332406472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550270767179452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433943272023324,0.0,0.06669640095962248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105857058691008,0.07214020067004055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275793229504926,0.0,0.1147786311462302,0.0,0.1615260147574692,0.0,0.0,0.09998617098453398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231225577217115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325898964323524,0.0,0.049333774142974296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479784804816855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144807895405387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176418587020662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846397877408027,0.0,0.07788207516442197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596162394055812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001376780012434,0.08817192473437932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887362255903567,0.0,0.0,0.10151288724423482,0.11312081776086008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038243567709537,0.0,0.0,0.11439076373339592,0.0,0.09605519538661987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3677139469505684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105302249280623,0.0,0.0,0.07773941124587275,0.09987189687496684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442388174107039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232795201292166,0.0,0.09296890517816107,0.0,0.0,0.06708668869706902,0.32351984019641905,0.0,0.08016691653876604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649080901572064,0.1121926020569624,0.0,0.10983734714776032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721438085591085,0.111215309246077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100014188562195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650278709811549
mentalhealth,PikaBaoo,2019/03/27,"Does anyone feel as if they aren't able to love properly? My entire life I feel as if i've never had given anyone ""love"". I might say ""I love you"" but, I feel as if the person im saying it to wants to hear that. As a child I never said on my own, (only to my grandparents because it would probably hurt their feelings) if one has expressed it towards me I would say it back because, that's what I thought I was supposed to do. I also don't hate anyone either, I just feel as if im the only one who feels this way.
 I might care to an extent but, im sure it isn't love, just based off what I've observed from others. If a friend/family member had died I would not be sad, might be glad depending on who it is. Or meeting new people, after a while they might see me as a friend/love interest but, I never feel the same way.

Now that im older I try to do things that would induce the feelings others achieve such as love. Like getting married, having a family, life-long friendships, trips, etc. I try to talk with my therapist about such things but, I don't think she understands me very well. I guess I confuse her on me having more control over my emotions despite having depression and anxiety, or maybe I was misdiagnosed? Who knows, all I know is that im not normal and I was just wondering if anyone feels the same.",2.4241058941058924,3.848160882783887,4.075186480186481,87.94746503496503,75.7032967032967,6.868398268398267,23.03180153180153,7.520522993642371,0.8997633699633703,1023,29,217,13,22,343,135,273,0.099,0.769,0.131,0.8722,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,3,2,10,16,1,1,11,0,27,6,0,3,5,59,56,24,1,13,19,0,9,1,0,8,1,5,0,2,21,3,0,1,16,0,0,1,9,5,1,2,8,15,36,11,25,38,8,18,0,3,1,5,24,6,0,17,10,159,57,1,0.07736445107329319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186832357230625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05918359331525476,0.0,0.0,0.21638009201412425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059488487452791824,0.0,0.09432130260681186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788782139396011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677081031149775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663388834618678,0.0,0.08029208594247454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770215248407456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702459448701988,0.0,0.0,0.08628181331578519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458646384241566,0.0,0.35206011903887113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954316597681565,0.0,0.04041973258583234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522566500256892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638137862309997,0.0,0.0,0.08719535903664025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282024496359623,0.0,0.4178344148280727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503495810939153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092895994634008,0.03779636296504347,0.0,0.0,0.0684651046825656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491221880174099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772298959210823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282858271437529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179004702104542,0.07471906893499504,0.0,0.0,0.07580073602354515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484830850998876,0.11767830243384282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363476928138551,0.06755165459121261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341196324519365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735913092517347,0.1845699500255333,0.0,0.0,0.06164945109616821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291507956590837,0.0,0.0,0.062182615259391213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982609056063894,0.1027950072811692,0.049572016408147054,0.0,0.06141873245915156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505076788564642,0.0,0.0,0.08053912197120562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383377439623056,0.04563155768683859,0.12281660048638955,0.0,0.0,0.06955993261195212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838984470424527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21982994539171147,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beatricethecat,2019/03/27,"help i've fallen and I can't get up Despite the title, this is a serious post. Humor is the only coping mechanism I know :) 

This is my first time posting because I've always been too scared of reaching out. I have never been diagnosed with anything but I have struggled with my mental health throughout high school.

I am in my first year of college and I am having an awful time, especially this semester. I am in a really hard major and not doing well, I can't seem to make any friends and those that I do have I end up pushing away (usually unintentionally). I used to rely heavily on my parents but now I feel like I'm annoying them too. Recently, my family got into a huge argument which is probably going to end my parent's marriage. Every time I try to help myself I end up making everything worse. No matter how hard I try I can't do better. I used to eat really healthy, go to the gym almost everyday and take good care of myself and lately it's getting increasingly more difficult to even brush my teeth in the morning. The more I try to get out of this rut the more I feel like I sink into it. I overthink and dwell on every little thing and I don't know how to make myself stop. I am very hard on myself and am constantly beating myself up for the smallest things. Every week I say this is just a bad week until it happens week after week.

I don't know who to talk to but I do know that I am really struggling. My motivation is gone, I push everyone away and my head is always going a million miles an hour. I'm not myself anymore. It has gotten to the point where I hope something tragic happens and I die so I don't have to deal with anything anymore. I just don't want to live in this head anymore. I want to get better and I want to be satisfied with myself and my life. 

Please comment anything that has helped you in similar situations, or even if you just want to say encouraging words that's more than enough. ",2.605882352941176,4.454045867007674,4.588094629156012,82.65099104859338,76.26342710997444,7.362148337595909,24.79923273657289,8.219915518859313,1.625037851662404,1518,52,297,27,34,520,185,391,0.174,0.69,0.135,-0.9291,2,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,6,15,20,1,4,15,1,34,7,3,8,1,56,67,22,1,6,10,2,5,2,1,0,3,2,0,0,19,21,1,1,8,1,0,8,11,9,1,3,5,8,54,11,47,61,7,58,0,1,0,0,17,24,0,5,26,212,73,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731225915608055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12848581695998798,0.0,0.0,0.05250381581322786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22970757979869866,0.0,0.0,0.19060582977257148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450781641333556,0.0,0.06446512134557189,0.047065036570691984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656769663685975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871829419434001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343398749775338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959764580741538,0.0,0.07836408916862624,0.08012929967629166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900265007737166,0.0,0.0,0.20514905249455406,0.07977609007502337,0.0,0.10198978376471324,0.0,0.19515219974541015,0.07377517081283973,0.06938921283800767,0.0,0.07278445432864386,0.0,0.07807696515209063,0.1103142502626892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313454908668989,0.0,0.0,0.05965040052435409,0.0,0.16135113826915298,0.0,0.1316365756208571,0.06475807210081233,0.06174997106464339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654885205086664,0.0,0.20748853444070334,0.0,0.15847454474633138,0.08206806880346051,0.0,0.0,0.1552518811855173,0.08157406878262169,0.0,0.07668456801200571,0.07603393407798248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972511204130628,0.0,0.08709353614405149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05453401144154429,0.07543946726878425,0.07738229873542353,0.0681757256357788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461001832203652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780710175184548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595472611031537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871985918932564,0.0,0.0,0.1714598066154429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475076019932931,0.07298613805178558,0.0,0.147887078005534,0.0,0.08324285165851254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838349743241613,0.0,0.07623319097135269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279716540124995,0.07729827694544678,0.07813821349179588,0.0,0.07028689966243792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867845776878548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594381827871238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454901103705844,0.0,0.16142829494859734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805050687403846,0.06205654460571789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258659800619367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506111798897713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15725667783430786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336515489123096,0.08503326400025671,0.0637043561395201,0.1821561723133876,0.0,0.2477251197055427,0.0,0.06941890499294187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786811408071599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049719163287856666
mentalhealth,StellyBellyV,2019/03/27,"I feel like I'm not as much of a person as everyone else.... I don't exactly know what to title this, because I'm not exactly agoraphobic, I'm just afraid to leave my house... Let me explain.

I had a baby a while back and ever since, I feel like I'm too fat to leave my house. I'm not huge, but I went from being really thin (125lb) to 175lb. So it's definitely a huge change for me. 

I feel like I'm too fat and ugly to leave my house. Whenever I leave to go to work (which is basically the only time I leave my house), I make sure my hair is done and my makeup is done completely. It takes me like 2 hours before I'm happy with how I look. And I still look at the floor when I walk because I don't want to make eye contact with anyone and attract attention to myself.

I walk quickly because I'm afraid of people talking to me because I'm just sure they're going to be nasty or make fun of me. It's a really weird feeling.

I know from how my coworkers and people I'm comfortable with react to me that I'm not disgusting looking... I just can't get out of my own head about these things.

I'll think, ""Today is the day."" I'll get dressed to go somewhere different and stop at the door and when I'm in public, I get lightheaded and my hands shake.

None of this happened before I had my baby and I don't know what is going on. Has anyone heard of anything like this before or gone through anything similar?
",2.122680918676874,3.1722544617940267,4.2541123790264335,87.87200491116569,75.81063122923588,7.493918821320237,23.718185757619533,8.04050195162591,1.1123750108334542,1087,32,246,17,23,376,140,301,0.093,0.753,0.154,0.9753,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,1,15,16,1,3,9,0,17,6,6,6,5,47,57,21,0,1,10,0,7,5,0,0,2,1,1,1,12,14,2,1,10,0,0,9,9,5,0,0,7,12,36,11,34,47,3,30,0,0,4,0,6,9,0,2,17,143,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090364354259946,0.0,0.1422913165612096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647908146199752,0.0,0.21081032072217165,0.0,0.2207022481951956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145864600840936,0.0,0.09064713577271397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575676141129211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032778462673917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694835517497606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222262703354755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07820411239712466,0.0,0.08261210738159995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485835839098807,0.18529186556968105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550857369056868,0.0,0.19653902165584625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645247245227077,0.0920336791804636,0.0,0.0,0.08872847032131571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514142979934093,0.3990329886289836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14254134243431213,0.0,0.0,0.4577204104396481,0.0,0.08840679052792122,0.0,0.2111893914359753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178029907763307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17312951356350206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355487264484251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065753440613339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987496569255385,0.0754897651755842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077144508543073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151703204703712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690436178651111,0.07228081985330335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296691080326225,0.0,0.0650039119475646,0.06948980083969365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743731228966359,0.055397308927175065,0.0,0.0,0.050413002366745896,0.0,0.08194987580618385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050993800155172984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014528168229998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294076484775916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PotatoSlothPotato,2019/03/27,"Feel like I am going a bit crazy I talked to my dad on the phone just now  he commented on the fact that I seemed overexcited and ""off"" and he seemed concerned about my mental state. He asked it I was sleeping enough. Also, in class yesterday I kept raising my hand to answer questions in class and the professor approached me after to ask if I was ""okay"", and said I seemed ""disturbed"" (exact words he used). The thing is, I didn't think I acted much differently than usual. I raise my hand often in class. I think it was because my thoughts were more disorganized. I sometimes talk fast and may sound a bit incoherent/go off on tangents. I also had a guy in another class ask me if I was ""on something"" half jokingly. I think it's because I sound overexcited and because I ramble/ I sound nervous. Other people seem to think I sound crazy for some reason. Even my uber driver joked that I took too much caffeine when I told him I was up studying for an exam. Also, during an exam this person kept clicking there pen a bit and I got so frustrated that I slammed my hand on the desk (people turned around to look at me) and I had to put my hands over my ears to stop myself from getting angrier. I also swear I handed in a 12 page paper last week, yet my professor claims he never got it. I vividly remember being in class and submitting it. Thankfully he let me just email it now, and it was on my computer. I think he probably misplaced it. Or maybe I am just crazy. idk. I am a 23 year old female ",3.166591415830545,4.753749665551844,4.462729933110367,85.2566812987737,74.0836120401338,7.391360089186176,25.836259754738016,8.07648339933343,1.5489028985507245,1166,40,234,18,24,385,160,299,0.085,0.853,0.061,-0.5832,2,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,0,18,8,1,2,13,1,17,7,7,2,3,43,44,19,0,2,6,1,6,1,0,1,0,6,0,2,14,11,0,3,15,2,0,5,2,3,0,1,18,15,48,5,31,23,9,38,0,0,3,0,22,18,0,11,15,159,62,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32301498475326634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588643514193254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989369435251812,0.2832082749971911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846695875465264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307323332406472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550270767179452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433943272023324,0.0,0.06669640095962248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105857058691008,0.07214020067004055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275793229504926,0.0,0.1147786311462302,0.0,0.1615260147574692,0.0,0.0,0.09998617098453398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231225577217115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325898964323524,0.0,0.049333774142974296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479784804816855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144807895405387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176418587020662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14846397877408027,0.0,0.07788207516442197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596162394055812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001376780012434,0.08817192473437932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887362255903567,0.0,0.0,0.10151288724423482,0.11312081776086008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038243567709537,0.0,0.0,0.11439076373339592,0.0,0.09605519538661987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3677139469505684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105302249280623,0.0,0.0,0.07773941124587275,0.09987189687496684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442388174107039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232795201292166,0.0,0.09296890517816107,0.0,0.0,0.06708668869706902,0.32351984019641905,0.0,0.08016691653876604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649080901572064,0.1121926020569624,0.0,0.10983734714776032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721438085591085,0.111215309246077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100014188562195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650278709811549
mentalhealth,weirdmedadvice,2019/03/27,"Guys I'm in a dark place, been there for a minute. How fast can I get meds, how fast do they work, and how can I get into an institution or someplace for a few days? Also how much do these cost?",0.04662790697674524,1.5477768604651203,2.049011627906978,99.51909883720931,82.72093023255816,5.230232558139536,15.401162790697676,5.985473137389443,-0.9901581395348836,147,2,39,1,4,49,31,43,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,4,0,7,8,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,7,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,27,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31310258373866884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525013822773499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4091115445162987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876715316759292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4348962657652323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878160923821809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090605318350367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28503502935581504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,atypicaloctober,2019/03/27,"How to know you’re depressed? So recently things in my life have been extremely shitty. I got diagnosed with something that leaves me in constant pain that will last from 1-3 years and can leave me with permanent mobility loss, found out I have cysts, went through a breakup with a guy whom I thought was the one, and just sprained my ankle last week, along with countless other things that have been going wrong. I’m really emotional these days when I’m usually not and have no desire to do anything but eat. My usual outlet was powerlifting, but because of my constant pain I can’t really lift like I used to and it’s a struggle to get myself into the gym. I force myself to go at least 2 times a week and try to get out of the house as much as I can, but it’s hard, really hard. I also feel really irritable. I can’t tell if I’m getting depressed, depressed, or just in a slump because of all the bad stuff that’s been going on. How do I know if I’m depressed and are there some things I should really watch out for? ",5.442628205128209,5.220123134615385,6.1469230769230805,81.86474358974361,67.65384615384616,9.625641025641023,29.83333333333333,9.2995712137729,2.2899121794871795,804,26,169,14,12,264,120,208,0.211,0.75,0.039,-0.9889,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,8,11,0,1,9,0,18,6,0,3,1,36,36,19,0,4,9,0,3,1,0,2,5,0,0,1,13,15,1,0,5,1,0,4,4,10,0,1,9,4,19,1,28,25,4,26,0,5,1,0,3,9,0,4,14,114,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807695978890033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906338201926046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196025468424224,0.13427765772944786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380391312221525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102960897967596,0.0,0.3794452453579804,0.11178729594589594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269821060135506,0.0,0.12388992083033555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568885507769352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076013995230543,0.0,0.0,0.17262697400293006,0.0,0.18778112516012585,0.0,0.08808706083726707,0.0,0.0,0.10905349134781106,0.0,0.0,0.1973232250552275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708394656942898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105743543056395,0.17955360794959868,0.0,0.23323952792538324,0.0,0.0,0.0777934094660984,0.053807644183993225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08096377261614078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463205497863351,0.0,0.23438823919932625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527846772023204,0.0,0.10874754457589517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478926763779224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513968179116513,0.12608114578235194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962650741331251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21951148503858892,0.0,0.0,0.0874369130556396,0.06422209172421978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747761675491628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512348192177447,0.2426019047471521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766914001269535,0.0,0.0,0.10209861325099924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041812239870806,0.0,0.07092497187942996
mentalhealth,mvxn,2019/03/27,"I am motivated, creative, adventurous, and I love life overall, but I simply just want to die at the same time. High-functioning depression? I’m not sure what it is. ",3.3363440860215086,5.803677903225813,5.188387096774196,76.26924731182797,76.41935483870971,9.29462365591398,29.68817204301075,9.725611199111238,3.328217204301076,129,6,24,4,3,44,28,31,0.317,0.444,0.239,-0.7988,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,1,8,5,2,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,5,1,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,15,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568685695406057,0.0,0.4300172564875095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4377706706552583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29265906578601725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37395607227771627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3905085053334468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416037231923203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443871897885969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lumir19,2019/03/27,"Im too anxious to get help Im a (M,16) i've been wanting to get help for my mental health issues, they interefere with my life daily but, Whenever i want i fail, i want to tell my mom to help me go to therapy but, even the thought of getting help like that be it, by a letter, talking, direct messages, gets me really anxious and i just give it up.
The same goes with anyone else, Friends, Teachers, Even online.
The only time i've searched for help were after really bad acts i've done, out of panic.",2.7042961165048527,3.9934105339805854,4.3244538834951465,86.99017597087378,74.72815533980581,7.0917475728155335,25.496359223300967,7.6454224807358475,1.2824572815533974,387,13,81,5,8,130,68,103,0.152,0.644,0.204,0.5041,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,1,4,5,0,1,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,12,14,3,0,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,4,0,10,2,15,9,1,6,0,1,0,0,13,2,0,0,3,45,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237773097679517,0.0,0.10019896645617547,0.14682818674914191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964984221951032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664605453685778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197090901724816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929711572299932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071352790620033,0.0,0.29947416266158405,0.13746679432400655,0.0814409155142004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232161638160735,0.0,0.0,0.4802561628261866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30957802911266663,0.14956837933846295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121730524014512,0.0700093334769932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444130912010635,0.0,0.0,0.16783168796288092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898640598986913,0.0,0.1681321350058635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18360380192357809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517942750715347,0.12525085941559005,0.0,0.1638764877732029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376450497217895,0.0835596113581287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535668531488446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Millze,2019/03/27,"I witnessed a pretty bad accident... I'm agoraphobic among my many other fun to live with issues. It's a long arduous mental buildup for me to leave the house. Today I got my shit together to go to the store and get dinner for my family. That didn't happen. As I was walking towards the shop, a man on a moped got demolished by a Honda CRV in the middle of the street. I am trained as a first responder from my younger, less anxiety riddled youth and immediately dropped all my shit and booked out into the middle of the street. I can't get the image I saw out of my head. The man's head split open like a ripe cantalope and was pissing blood. My training kicked in and we did everything we could to help this guy, but I'm not sure if he made it to the hospital. I was covered in blood. Once the adrenaline wore off and I gave my shaky statement to the cops and they helped me wash my hands, I started to mentally break down. That was about 4 hours ago. Now I'm here. I'm sick of being afraid to leave the house, and I know it's ridiculous, but come on, man. My luck is unreal. I guess I'm posting this for support? I don't know",2.371614781634939,3.800177740425532,3.9460246360582296,88.80105263157894,75.85106382978724,7.500559910414332,24.70884658454647,8.20500826718156,1.3152553191489358,879,29,195,15,19,293,136,235,0.109,0.823,0.068,-0.7504,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,1,1,3,12,4,2,20,0,12,11,8,1,2,30,33,13,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,8,16,1,0,3,2,2,3,4,7,0,1,12,2,27,5,34,19,2,31,0,0,1,0,12,17,3,4,9,118,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465466410661903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757695168481288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741514058028416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113509793925108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227679688784636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12638375620911735,0.0,0.13256776313574742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961467653223222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694043994041747,0.0,0.07991984248958434,0.0,0.22493966914347893,0.0,0.1549131563784966,0.13923983857308894,0.12435331172094527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886415252371997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18851456492297686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138486283315615,0.3245223602997196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677488879736494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545665118933599,0.0,0.0,0.2978009581886321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870176825684736,0.0,0.12417354132906945,0.12444778773906574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306179998981224,0.0,0.14257063316490995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283431772085385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975993793909767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134678890627885,0.14306513210743546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886969675328098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953436932757054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957841400352735,0.13253642694138684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329508026023887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VenomRingo,2019/03/27,"Terrified of Failure Hello, all. I'm not sure if I'm mentally ill or not, but I just need a place to vent because I feel like I'm in a constant state of fighting failure. I'm 18 and, as my life begins to form, I find myself terrified of the future. I do not want to fail. I have one life and I want to do everything in my power to be successful and not waste it. I only have one shot at going to the college I want, one shot at law school, one shot at a career, one shot at a relationship, and, when I reach the end, I want to be able to reflect on the past and say that I was productive and did something meaningful. And that future reflection is what I want to make positive and not dreadful. I seem to psychoanalyze everything and everyone, and I hate doing it. I draw up pictures and realities about other people and tell myself that I cannot become whatever they failed in doing, but, at the same time, there's this inner-feeling that I will never escape an inevitable future of mediocrity where I won't be significant. On top of this, I feel like I can't properly express my emotions. Nothing physical actually makes me sad, only thoughts of the future - of failure, of losing loved ones, losing my potential. These two forces of my life haunt me and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to accept my destiny. I don't know how to accept what life will bring me. ",4.454524380495601,4.956855107913672,6.011031175059951,79.4747162270184,69.863309352518,9.055475619504397,29.47322142286171,9.150863307647796,2.389972981614709,1072,39,215,20,18,367,138,278,0.198,0.657,0.145,-0.8892,1,0,1,0,2,0,34.0,0,0,1,8,7,15,2,1,11,0,21,6,0,4,3,51,45,21,0,7,10,0,2,2,0,3,5,1,0,0,13,13,0,0,13,0,0,2,12,8,0,7,3,3,35,7,35,36,3,28,0,5,0,1,8,14,0,3,13,154,48,6,0.1135537424114077,0.0,0.11081207226926386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692213074062624,0.12541118702895468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227112548406828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773267629695098,0.1005749112401054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850546711282437,0.20410956338358904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224855221422716,0.16224563253564045,0.0,0.0,0.1037860633645297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453520865942376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211081152736076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18721850142717605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208254657932175,0.1109532454422654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25407518367192145,0.0,0.0,0.10248668596039834,0.0,0.15159600963775047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443546422544815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419866116381321,0.0875796465138446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895787840511433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4616817279115323,0.17272547606296226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839989600546468,0.07872386723850479,0.0,0.11863949213785467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191422304807698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030249367904183,0.0,0.11492244966531928,0.0,0.1033750623110416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741921864221378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702305836941046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925097595136753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014898739854504,0.06621410037509863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092550633183733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348846967513287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,curiousbutconcernet,2019/03/27,"How grabby is too grabby? I’m a freshman in college and recently I’ve been told that I’m really grabby. That’d be fine, because all of my friends have repeatably said that they’re okay with it, but I’ve really started to notice that without realizing it I’m always trying to touch someone. There’s absolutely nothing sexual about it, I love my friends but not like that.
It’s mostly casual, like hugging people when we greet or say goodbye, but it’s also things like holding hands if we’re sitting next to each other or just generally always being in physical contact with someone. Again, it’s not sexual.
I spent a week at one of their houses because I’m from foster care and have no intention of going back to anyone from that time in my life who offered, so again, nothing sexual. Their mom commented on how grabby I was, and pointed out that in any other context it would definitely be perceived as something different.

I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable and this is definitely something that I realize could become an issue, because some people really don’t like to be touched and I think I might accidentally be making them uncomfortable at points.
Is this a mental health issue on my part or just a bad habit? Because if this is something that’s better discussed professionally as part of a larger disorder I would like to get help right away.",7.222892347600517,7.547474194552531,7.988498054474706,68.30536705577174,63.86381322957199,10.588741893644617,34.64306095979248,10.355215969177356,3.7647127885862517,1096,45,181,24,15,368,143,257,0.122,0.721,0.157,0.8746,1,0,3,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,3,1,13,15,0,0,6,1,20,5,1,5,1,42,36,20,0,6,13,1,3,5,2,3,2,2,0,0,23,10,0,1,4,1,1,1,6,1,0,1,5,5,16,14,29,21,6,25,0,0,0,2,17,13,0,8,15,128,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844229090535913,0.18404677815330447,0.0,0.0,0.07520797524436748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466033293819356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390706663543826,0.08504025661323565,0.0923416931738785,0.2696692459744663,0.12214281089915295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978117474773858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127583477381316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830061845111231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155475950484376,0.1267507483457189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17088989729474,0.0,0.057781002316881575,0.0,0.06285333848092417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755666119354095,0.0,0.0,0.07412908602286236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761107330263452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23086361230712096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811608583005901,0.27015415446097785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998157516845102,0.0,0.1476452234996779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145312948691416,0.1173231669612861,0.0,0.12952680878834752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761838467939953,0.0,0.0,0.21223659313480792,0.12591244201353122,0.0,0.0,0.074941618478944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395258864107337,0.0,0.15334444489617488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20909488496254167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21254878771607785,0.0,0.10919861443533724,0.0,0.0,0.09444700177000258,0.1052005873949616,0.08794909505652491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874125295314988,0.25542288557804,0.0,0.0,0.07827927597137642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347399616343586,0.07086441724593745,0.0,0.0,0.06448847612857662,0.0,0.0,0.10567767569272828,0.0,0.07508632880859682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652314345431942,0.0,0.0887121458776361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660904198954768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712615808411673,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anxiousyeeyee,2019/03/27,"I feel stuck, please spend the time to read it all, I can’t find a title. Okay so this might take a while to explain but I’m really struggling right now and I don’t know what to do. Please someone bear with me.

Backstory of my mental health: I have been struggling with anxiety since I was a child and I think I might have depression now but that’s not the point. Basically I just feel like everything is overwhelming and I want to be alone all the time, just disconnect from everything and everyone, stay in my room all day. But the thing is being alone with my thoughts scares me sometimes, cause if I am not distracted I start thinking about everything that’s is going on in the world and have a panic attack. It’s not fun.

The thing is, I have a boyfriend who I love very much, but he just causes me more problems. See, he is transgender, and he struggles really bad with depression and anxiety caused by his dysphoria and is suicidal. He’s been like this ever since I’ve known him, but lately it’s been worse. Whenever I try to spend time with him to cheer him up, he ignores me and tells me to shut up or things like that. His mental state causes him to be mean to me and his friends, I know he self harms, and I can’t do anything about it. Seeing him hurting like this hurts me even more. I spend a lot of my energy in helping him overcome his anxiety, whether it be in class, with school projects, etc. I know he doesn’t have that energy to give back to me, so it feels like I’m giving everything I have for nothing. I spend my heart and soul into trying to make him feel better, since he doesn’t do it for himself, and then I hope he will do it for me, which he can’t.

I am not happy in my relationship, I don’t feel like I am helping myself at all with my own issues. But there is no way in hell I can break up with him, I know for a fact I am one of the only things that motivates him to stay alive. I want to be free from the burden of carrying two people’s problems on my back, but without leaving him behind to die, you know? I have no idea what to do. Please someone help me. ",3.0443547921478067,4.1197605912240185,4.130605513856814,89.54881820150116,73.57274826789839,7.814347575057738,24.385753464203233,8.278499904357787,1.2082333140877592,1628,47,364,26,32,530,187,433,0.217,0.626,0.157,-0.9902,0,2,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,0,2,14,34,2,7,15,1,43,3,1,6,6,79,73,27,2,6,18,0,5,6,1,3,1,0,1,2,24,22,0,1,19,1,5,1,14,19,0,2,6,7,64,16,52,59,10,37,2,5,2,1,39,18,1,6,19,253,88,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492557112725929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653669767951984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929560724205168,0.0,0.0,0.08197363066296857,0.0,0.11081259487784033,0.06016340403668435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372730974225581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29608373927933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046469891566581406,0.0,0.1241227402243308,0.0,0.07478232152482313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036102474344257,0.04759203457756307,0.06517840224520513,0.0,0.06885219971424385,0.25903565590959976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216734500593684,0.15442957379961492,0.0,0.0,0.06585749964929817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055669966530564455,0.0,0.0,0.13824456656398992,0.040950849698649656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670451051562563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659171779829686,0.0,0.08538621562104967,0.14489202006072374,0.0,0.0,0.07156745465432694,0.0,0.0,0.15427398889772545,0.08134198526910508,0.0,0.0752073105181638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19799932656944502,0.0,0.0812818388400981,0.0762964609226168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112163161195626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061259081966304224,0.06503297905218944,0.0,0.04809766276849282,0.0,0.0,0.0784896563082026,0.0,0.0,0.1452301648367637,0.1528791784977135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296914608343068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913927753141352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04882672947334679,0.05480151963798759,0.0,0.08454170421178114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995427026499125,0.0,0.0,0.23728618461548776,0.06811581861682825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789492779737414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207508465455087,0.0,0.09232130617885903,0.0,0.0,0.07736073265861239,0.0,0.06153507621787355,0.0,0.0,0.07214021117371064,0.07292409927860209,0.1148379449751888,0.0,0.07516969030083022,0.0,0.0,0.17881537450899052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210492734315775,0.0,0.07126481640707617,0.0,0.0510013142069748,0.15360333344968474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259844283829763,0.0,0.07881711532170878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054176832784896316,0.0,0.06297975760918588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914821167095965,0.09234061928155236,0.0,0.05720408611252241,0.12604857388941046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784202525367673,0.0,0.07038783683979555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059453404217970136,0.08500050231751419,0.0571943697710083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945901300622219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343079739310182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NQEntourage96,2019/03/27,"23 years old and looking to get on medication for first time? Just want to give a shout out to everyone trying there best out there! I’m a full time laborer 50 hours a week and I’m trying to be as productive and Motivated as possible. I Quit drinking and smoking weed and I really just want to focus on Maintaining a healthy relationship with my Girlfriend and staying on Track with my work ethic. I get very High feelings of being productive but very so often throughout the day my co workers will call me a spaceShot and at times Can become depressed and unmotivated, it’s like it goes smooth for a while then my personality and mindset changes. I’ve never seen a counselor or talked to a doctor about medications but have dabbled into certain prescriptions unprescribed to me. Xanax kilopin adderal and suboxone. I’m not sure wheather I have a certain mental illness and I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining or just being lazy to those out there with severe mental health issues. My questions are how do I get involved in this system, do I have to get a set of tests run? A year of counseling? To become prescribed anything? I’ve never had an opioid problem but the chemical that’s in suboxone made me feel the Most productive and focused on the moment out of all the medications I’ve tried, is that certain chemical in it only used for opioid addiction? Is there any medications out there that have the same chemical but used for anxiety or depression? Thanks everyone ",5.201772234985231,7.236674830324914,5.9767722349852335,74.63789875287169,69.64981949458483,9.224089268132591,32.807515589104035,9.688023934748609,3.493485198555957,1196,56,202,29,22,391,152,277,0.117,0.772,0.11,-0.7905,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,6,12,12,0,0,18,0,16,10,0,5,7,54,36,25,0,4,11,0,3,2,1,1,9,2,0,1,8,21,1,0,4,1,0,1,4,4,0,1,3,7,15,8,39,29,5,35,0,2,2,0,9,16,0,6,17,137,23,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560559694906633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211479418971359,0.0,0.08112476217886443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726667432011373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342385535875784,0.0,0.0,0.1112885457735626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828463903905453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218241657833147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839078106541274,0.0,0.18267421906415685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854239050217357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388453171272267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026626513548947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723990600854386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020252047306386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216182566605845,0.10172881371817083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272174792708575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112043231341563,0.0,0.0,0.10443377157525607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068428470070213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361726231904418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905178063037805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034311913663442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4273200289879737,0.2137384890002143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635781480832169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127724945370232,0.0,0.0,0.08065262485589321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259511980473822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955072857764933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147152811308888,0.0,0.0,0.11879558832963395,0.11279278320131254,0.0,0.0,0.06793566786684645,0.0,0.0,0.1138535243348816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980159206274005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303073446839755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994693052056758,0.0,0.0,0.08523561331781608,0.0,0.0976327435180807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18550851163762136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21599445261885256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317908037909364,0.0,0.174997815333349,0.1876457168869679,0.0,0.08506356036453325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720262009193637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136580062696518
mentalhealth,user2993993939339393,2019/03/27,"Does therapy/ going to see a psychologist work ? I’ve never tried it as there’s seems to be a stigma around seeking help for mental health. Should I go for it ? I have social anxiety, BDD, health anxiety, and possible depression. It’s so debilitating.

I do not want to take meds though. Is it optional or do you have a choice to opt for regular therapy? ",2.613466386554624,5.105192573529415,5.030924369747903,76.29558823529416,79.14705882352942,9.768067226890755,25.890756302521005,9.957137785484203,3.1923168067226886,277,11,52,10,7,97,50,68,0.135,0.8240000000000001,0.041,-0.6324,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,1,9,13,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,9,11,0,4,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,3,1,34,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30227125235760915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758735049667688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17016125374958802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288925251343493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22455991268769085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42000177256280347,0.0,0.0,0.13242272795075513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944864085487964,0.0,0.19909765838410684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237324076967956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22272329358424567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574326240275339,0.17985449686201868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013912276642091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14854325281891664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518624275472352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19410525052630376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413272746375388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165281399488291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382866607994893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Obiwanmyhomie,2019/03/27,"Cont'd... So first felt sad over a home. My old home. Now people lie for all kinda of reasons right? Like ""I didn't eat the cookie"" yeah? But the worst lies are the ones you tell children. Because children have such creative minds and lying to them is like inception ( you know the movie). It grows in them. Anyway my mom lied to me. ""You can go back"" honestly my whole life had been made up of lies. ""you can always go back"" ""he's going to get better"" ""it won't always be....
I think that's enough for today",-0.3444117647058817,1.9263894607843144,1.1757254901960792,98.74476470588242,95.56862745098042,3.504313725490196,13.662745098039215,5.2151,-1.1614713725490198,383,7,84,2,15,122,77,102,0.163,0.703,0.134,-0.6623,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,4,2,2,6,6,0,0,5,1,10,2,0,2,1,10,18,3,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,2,3,1,1,0,4,0,0,4,2,2,0,2,5,1,12,4,10,11,4,14,0,1,0,0,11,4,0,1,8,54,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066983612161186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834247640994011,0.0,0.11234523722803648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629949894260642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858099581532686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904272134398967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695322874878264,0.0,0.0,0.15676223164207032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628714448481723,0.0,0.3142192887452402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697281786643821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128435758886352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017383813554467,0.18007560312714002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743854961401241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18608659902652755,0.21584545183317289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19338783288835976,0.0,0.12488385727258132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776776215033087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189487161580556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15738792580496772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108297944921166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808954688552392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746912239726137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057600969185628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JrIsMyGame,2019/03/27,Am I alone? Sometimes I wish I could kill myself without causing pain and anguish for the people close to me. I feel like the choice isn't even there....because I can't hurt the people I love by making such a self centered decision. Am I alone in feeling this way? Lonely but not alone. ,1.8294736842105264,4.1915283508771966,2.8132456140350897,91.81355263157896,81.28070175438596,4.5017543859649125,23.535087719298247,5.46131890053228,0.3490140350877189,224,8,44,1,6,71,44,57,0.222,0.585,0.193,-0.4061,0,5,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,1,4,0,5,2,0,2,0,12,10,2,1,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,2,9,2,5,9,0,4,0,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.614580916175114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057654894469055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20319425210973255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792655634933028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306444980181128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20002642505065696,0.14130777924837398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117481214629265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21883549485391127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966346919101332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785214895372682,0.0,0.13203249375677292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21047228164212645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742581030863377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20634769121971466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562845439360008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700378843896678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22745930422110225,0.1906713585073235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heh3u7ydh,2019/03/27,"Only showing physical symptoms of emotions? For the past 2 or so months I've stopped feeling emotions at certain events (it slowly happened then very quickly about 2 months ago). Anyways, I've noticed when I'm alone I'll feel an emotion and show the physical symptoms but not know why, if someone just told me bad news I can infer but my head is clear of emotion. If I'm around other people sometimes they'll say ""why are you nervous"" or something like that. Then I'll pay attention and notice I'm bouncing my leg, my throat is dry, and I'm sweating (I've been diagnosed with anxiety). The entire time I'll feel fine in my head and not even know I'm nervous. I used to actually know why I felt anxious (and the same things that used to make me feel anxious make me act anxious now). It happened really fast, less than a day. Is there anything wrong with that? ",5.91,5.978171764705883,6.1023529411764725,81.59058823529416,66.64705882352942,8.447058823529412,35.82352941176471,7.908726449838941,2.6857529411764705,680,32,131,7,10,217,104,170,0.152,0.7809999999999999,0.066,-0.9336,0,1,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,0,10,7,0,2,6,0,7,8,5,5,2,36,27,15,0,2,9,0,5,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,7,8,0,1,10,2,1,1,2,4,0,0,3,6,12,3,12,23,2,18,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,15,68,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.10390437318348296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438378342260516,0.0,0.0,0.11027612932540176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145318734643557,0.36085978906807603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876199643805982,0.09478544477914436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890229080867446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866765403401644,0.0,0.0,0.10807002141328707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4790807858347289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032582291406159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21534811124300146,0.0,0.10223282776685684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18831122165336114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21854841453390672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17554784998400758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05201837301778089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214595969519395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997487490727994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242445295328066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097913862458629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016425649024402,0.07381645259841785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821069835697023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467330147771998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902160369218341,0.081969761337353,0.10530663173223337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901798105469769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213368691089783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073734896215843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208650785507551,0.0,0.0,0.10174155501707176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392066184636985,0.0,0.0878531378997242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882317463620109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641384609995993,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,clasked,2019/03/27,"I need your help! Me and 4 other kids are in charge of putting together a mental health day at our school... I need suggestion of topics and activity’s to help with anxiety, depression, angry issues and etc... drop the stuff you would suggest for us to talk about and and activity’s to help with mental issues much appreciated! ",8.734863387978145,7.709352868852463,9.169508196721313,65.53765027322407,61.295081967213115,12.723497267759562,35.087431693989075,11.855464076750405,4.192930054644808,259,9,46,7,3,87,45,61,0.155,0.674,0.172,0.2924,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,10,4,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,11,3,2,5,0,1,0,0,11,2,0,0,1,31,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522023316764348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831145588295262,0.0,0.1713622408989951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22189077128151447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21148305898658887,0.0,0.0,0.4000720770603925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4153209392279543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4010057536206388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625702840523716,0.2950496841374743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20000775077933935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20135612612703932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22775931906584698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991491056996252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23932198677257266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133406061835785,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anewerapsych,2019/03/27,"Psychiatrist Costa Mesa If you have made the decision to seek help for your mental health disorder, you want the best quality in psychiatric care, especially if its local. If you are considering a [Psychiatrist Costa Mesa](https://anewerapsychiatry.com/psychiatrist-costa-mesa/), here are a few features to look for: 

* Diagnostic tools including a variety of evaluation techniques, medical lab tests, oral interviews, and psychological assessments. Based on the results of the various diagnostic tools used, an experienced psychiatrist makes a diagnosis and creates a treatment plan.
* Treatment protocols can vary depending on the nature of the diagnosis and the unique features of each individual patient. Generally, treatment involves medication, such as antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, or anti-psychotics, psychotherapy, and adjunct therapies.
* Psychiatrists can help prevent mental health disorders by offering ongoing treatment for individuals who have careers in highly stressful environments, such as police and fire, medical and dental practitioners, personal care providers like home health nurses, and social workers.

If you'd like to know more about [Psychiatrist Costa Mesa](https://anewerapsychiatry.com/psychiatrist-costa-mesa/), treatment for mental health and more, check out Anew Era Psych today!",15.699516129032256,17.350182284946236,13.804860215053766,29.21729032258068,46.043010752688176,17.117419354838713,53.008602150537634,15.247664890283005,9.533199569892473,1099,64,105,45,10,349,118,186,0.045,0.8220000000000001,0.133,0.9337,0,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,0,5,0,3,4,6,0,1,13,0,7,8,0,5,0,25,15,15,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,0,8,0,1,1,2,10,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,5,5,20,13,6,9,0,0,1,0,13,7,0,6,4,68,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681836754494316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328173425580061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25807354642404023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900983899963516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467698957930185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5381111920945068,0.0,0.0,0.16966155062436564,0.13371802223633206,0.1269504107363422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955429171518256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366204741638895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106278869682158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975452042320775,0.08448005669971008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824888959426641,0.3826293790710477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050766869870507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901240027452374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14497452251023818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447328591415656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996447073886013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930755945752607,0.0,0.0,0.07464860912110026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway18382834882,2019/03/27,"Need a bit of advice (American in Turkey) Never been properly diagnosed but I know for a fact I’m suffering from something, I feel like I have to see a psychiatrist problem is I live in Turkey (from the US and just moved here with my family). I didn’t want to move here but had to because I’m still a teen and don’t really speak Turkish. The move really fucked my mental health up, I’ve been doing bad in school, frustrated being here, home sick, angry and moody a lot. The move really elevated my mental problems, before moving I knew there was something but always ignored it because my parents really don’t believe in mental issues and I never felt I can talk to them. But now I need advice, I can’t go to a psychiatrist here because they won’t understand English and I can’t speak them in Turkish. What alternatives can I do? Is there an online psychiatrist or one by phone I can do? Possibly by whatsapp so I don’t spend on international?",4.179470046082948,5.649660940860215,6.086052227342553,75.09193548387098,71.31182795698925,9.185253456221199,27.80184331797235,9.606745405546679,2.693145622119816,749,27,137,18,14,260,104,186,0.223,0.752,0.025,-0.9918,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,3,0,10,9,2,0,10,0,21,4,0,0,3,27,34,11,0,5,6,1,2,1,0,1,3,2,1,0,2,6,0,1,5,0,1,6,9,8,0,1,7,5,22,1,19,25,2,17,0,1,1,1,9,7,1,2,5,98,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21181281431712348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017975689991524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904916839697192,0.19819994098270105,0.0,0.0922222876147334,0.1221056767980614,0.0,0.0,0.1183214659223952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000209483215877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216978889575176,0.0,0.054799524986414064,0.07742576189855792,0.10406054396864288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001943578294118,0.0,0.0,0.061594110382486585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520148556546607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871266849550452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311920069337356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05956209683619116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294835632384738,0.0,0.09570037393659464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213969146742164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32766070312274803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5759470092590094,0.0,0.16072285927363122,0.16717666299340878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344020910257944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034171587594167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221806952593366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20740754993947186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777206707690608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968502616095266,0.08636378867534149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687042978400507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655136642405029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711069033144916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282604445526168,0.13036622666985134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392456274825986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,azel128,2019/03/27,"Tips for overcoming anxiety/panic attacks? Hi Team,

That’s right, we’re a team. We’re all working on this together.

I’ve suffered a lot of problems with anxiety and depression since I went through puberty, but I grew up in the 90’s in a military family so early diagnosis/treatment was never even considered. I’ve developed some shitty coping mechanisms along the way. Alcohol has become a problem. I’m currently seeking help/treatment, but I need help overcoming some of the day-to-day issues that come along with these types of mental health disorders. 

Yesterday I broke down at work. A culmination of factors caused me to have a full-blown, class 5 panic attack. Unfortunately, I work retail in a very busy electronics store and there’s no way for me to escape people. What’s worse, I work in the back room and can’t escape coworkers. It didn’t go well. When I have anxiety attacks, it manifests outwardly as anger. I’m absolutely suffering on the inside so I let that bleed into the world around me. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time this has happened. Last winter I had two bad panic attacks at work and had to leave. Reflecting on my life, I can see this has happened a lot in my history, but never with this level of intensity or frequency.

Does anybody have any good mental exercises or techniques for riding out these episodes? I know I can’t be the only one. I’ve started seeking therapy and pharmaceutical help this month, but those solutions take time to be effective. I’ve begun experimenting with meditation because I’ve heard it can give a person the toolkit necessary to deal with this issue, but again, that takes time to develop.  I’m terrified I’ll have another episode and it will endanger my employment, and thus (because America) my health insurance and my ability to seek the help I need.

This seems like a good community. Thanks to everybody.",5.4645461357311085,7.4660144826589585,6.630321130378934,70.35108435024621,68.91329479768787,10.790665810318993,33.33504602868765,10.825029732296443,4.297261314493683,1505,71,251,49,27,505,194,346,0.208,0.684,0.108,-0.9905,2,0,1,1,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,9,9,19,5,2,20,0,20,6,0,3,3,43,39,19,0,4,7,0,0,1,0,1,6,1,1,1,20,19,1,0,4,3,2,5,7,14,1,3,6,2,21,5,40,29,5,44,0,4,1,0,10,20,0,7,18,155,41,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965193486505598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06141734806373007,0.09470323089688862,0.1381815704061827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039956469428347,0.0,0.41098574466656057,0.0,0.06944671788960542,0.0754093151959839,0.1101104629414806,0.0997459046876476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277846049945264,0.0,0.07779844010450579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649150364333853,0.09311087664557664,0.07778824179278958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350890052807653,0.0,0.07903533079088099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05965225528278476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834547349421365,0.0851410149127628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682195669234985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663844957808191,0.05132813845748978,0.1515039999492639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597306451771828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19200140289043136,0.0,0.0,0.2421451641594777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885309474991934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496348032992406,0.07361884035086051,0.0,0.09563062400098787,0.0,0.09235328326291092,0.0637922084355044,0.04412338367435361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356529420432816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182032706617838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208863124160547,0.0,0.0,0.13393496752939948,0.13931310723868562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119983222025749,0.0686886843217865,0.0,0.2119305621811085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261310130492567,0.07885963991091269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17283865899374906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712858061178034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196942167544879,0.08221945232027944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470956336410284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639254749631206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581139316203866,0.0,0.0,0.08314998688469061,0.10328315934615724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799033965290668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822470502133098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451939546860502,0.0,0.1433758054935786,0.0,0.0,0.08120409886628399,0.0837229793909732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32875225138579905,0.0,0.0920387772994438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lueek22,2019/03/27,"Is it weird that I have intense urges to kill? So firstly I can't preface this enough. I'm not a sociopath/psychopath. I'm a, well not ""Normal"" person but I'm at least empathetic. For some reason I have intense urges to kill people. I can't shake them and I'm worried they'll get the better of me. I want to kill because I want to see how I'd feel. The mix of emotions etc. Please help if you can, thank you.",-0.5168181818181843,1.6147964090909106,1.6095454545454544,97.7718181818182,90.5909090909091,3.6545454545454548,19.363636363636363,4.851557810540192,-0.5562636363636364,316,10,73,1,11,105,59,88,0.197,0.5489999999999999,0.254,-0.0317,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,2,2,3,8,3,1,4,0,7,0,0,2,0,12,17,5,3,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,5,1,1,0,2,11,3,8,16,4,3,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,2,1,45,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813423102863133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139389450292336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21799070339726412,0.0,0.2002396628615888,0.21613008697104408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979874117959902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483997138017184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124868710338124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989516164546674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6432087283787328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987569963646952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435145720722785,0.16921231045993398,0.0,0.2127261894336715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992511714375613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442769124897718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841828102900942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22860791057751975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424291061313055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968058934840416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loveyourcritic1,2019/03/27,"Just a preface: I have OCD. But I change my mind all the time about how I'm feeling and what I want. I get influenced by other people's ideas and opinions too so sometimes i don't even know what I want. I'm seeing this guy and we agreed to be casual...but he said he didn't want to stay the night if he came over. So I literally told him yes to meeting up, and then no, and then yes, and then I went to my therapist which cleared up my true feelings and decided to tell him no again, all in one day because i didn't feel good about him coming over and not wanting to spend the night -- I feel like that's really barbaric and it could be a lot natural. Then he said he's confused because I changed my mind so much and I dont blame him. I'm confused too and now fearful that I have other mental illnesses that are just screwing me up. 

My OCD is on one side, telling me that I have BPD and all sorts of other mental illnesses and then I have shame on the other side for not being able to make my own decisions. 

So I just want an objective view: is this normal? Or am I incapable of relationships, even casual ones?",3.293397435897436,3.9114807649572683,4.737681623931625,87.14447115384618,72.54700854700855,8.414102564102564,26.59081196581197,8.660442795831766,1.6376504273504278,865,28,195,15,16,290,121,234,0.123,0.762,0.115,-0.7737,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,0,16,9,1,4,7,2,16,3,0,3,5,54,38,26,0,8,8,0,4,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,14,16,0,0,8,1,1,3,8,5,0,3,7,8,30,4,21,27,6,25,0,0,2,1,18,10,1,7,12,136,44,0,0.12262727035106195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14950489164166825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444475423605852,0.0,0.0,0.14025292900404385,0.0,0.0,0.259446784471266,0.1056325352468685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979078971035193,0.0,0.0,0.07908444467547229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371824757119053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619883110830911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798977155545575,0.24801612970683365,0.08760494644088583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406768750449436,0.0,0.0,0.10285393635903572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142027707953187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384312619837013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739274080477044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05990949015084841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425332005978698,0.0,0.0,0.08185465517569361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471588925441449,0.0,0.24763717189859374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014515338259596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230154772450722,0.1201486887092713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492862360257417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501430904814829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855816943760552,0.0,0.0,0.13165579638222752,0.0,0.0,0.233293230932426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977180578635829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128150594838408,0.0,0.0,0.13070435411673767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436327860511625,0.0,0.0,0.14237971237361954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150494748408984,0.0,0.0,0.1171756118966615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616437060803825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367670816548438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vienna17151201,2019/03/27,"Help with possible ocd behaviors? So I want to preface this by saying that I'm not trying to self diagnose myself, I'm just trying to work through the problem I've been having. I'd also like to mention that I have been professionally diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the past. 

For the past 10 years I've been dealing with constant urges to pick at the skin on my fingers. The urges do get worse during times of boredom or stress, but I always just considered it to be a nervous tick that I developed. I've tried countless times to stop it, by wearing band aids until the skin heals, wearing thimbles to prevent the picking, getting a fidget cube to keep me distracted, etc. Nothing I do seems to help. 

I've looked into this problem a couple times before and have read that it can be a manifestation of ocd. I don't like to self diagnose though, so I never took it too seriously. I was doing some reading tonight though, and a couple things really hit home with me. 

The process of having the urge, engaging in the compulsion, having a slight sense of relief or satisfaction, and then feeling depressed again, is something that really resonated with me. It's been this vicious cycle for the past 10 years, and I don't know how to stop it. 

I'm just worried that I'll never have normal fingers again. There is definitely a lot of scarring from doing this for so long, and I'm embarrassed whenever people see my fingers. I'm frustrated because I'm so aware that I'm doing this, but I can't stop myself. Any words of advice? ",7.23546186440678,6.871270705084747,7.680625000000003,72.83551377118647,63.98305084745762,10.493644067796607,35.725635593220346,9.978442167317967,3.5421906779661025,1218,51,218,23,16,402,152,295,0.161,0.745,0.094,-0.9634,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,15,15,2,4,18,0,24,11,7,3,2,40,42,20,0,4,8,0,6,2,0,0,4,1,1,2,19,12,0,5,3,3,0,1,6,11,0,0,6,9,17,4,36,33,3,26,0,2,2,0,8,5,0,5,22,146,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360158562305913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478421187897224,0.08821719154295693,0.0,0.0,0.07209728335655961,0.0,0.0811050635554248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462885078476753,0.0,0.09021527103990508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457003162573302,0.0,0.0,0.23461838240651056,0.0,0.0,0.10930203710730038,0.18262986231589864,0.3228244188118071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824040347429067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053606933067637134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078222178247593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421260365695952,0.0,0.10634677481397063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942355097706701,0.0,0.0,0.058265857947809176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359210209203767,0.0,0.0,0.09382442591867814,0.08903015717724054,0.0,0.0,0.09013447241725853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635384282214201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387715865763404,0.1017291167868336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30362446043836305,0.07350096754307882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952169940430035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20289377782169413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21209752158351264,0.0,0.13583834360888447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843114152008521,0.0,0.0,0.08448426952851118,0.0965166901248376,0.2212041107883684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161942975433413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659125779931605,0.1214456322727408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043502372616707,0.0,0.2083283614645893,0.0,0.1854634666696307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779219903765817,0.21594200508898728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253338432173472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718387383862359,0.10766852768068796,0.10804350913790134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654689847942622
mentalhealth,throwaway345090,2019/03/27,"I need help but don’t know where to go I’ve struggled with mental health all of my life and I’ve finally decided I want help, I am young (17) and do not want to involve my parents and seeing a doctor seems pointless as they’ll just refer me to a charity. Is there anyway to get a charities help without a GP visit? (UK btw)",1.521739130434785,3.1006274782608765,3.944275362318841,87.26684782608696,78.56521739130434,6.918840579710146,24.54347826086957,7.793537801064563,1.302147826086956,252,9,54,4,6,88,51,69,0.042,0.685,0.272,0.9408,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,4,0,5,3,0,0,1,16,13,5,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,1,7,0,8,12,1,5,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,2,33,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25202699241801657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269733093934582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864509071682162,0.0,0.13993826874774035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617311354460756,0.0,0.0,0.495128638156906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532165108779298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391963699312507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481420774753281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825765364194118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734094424489013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19621355020267267,0.2241586810052799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574132153103547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904658444094131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373570780715212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ImAMuttHhh,2019/03/27,"Everything is horrid and I don't know how to exist The title doesnt make much sense so let me explain. I have bipolar, ptsd, anxiety, and depression. I also most likely have add and social phobia. A few weeks ago, I noticed that things were making me more anxious than usual. Things like dark humor jokes would make me choke up and stop breathing, and dumb stuff like seeing a character in a show die. It made sense, since they were touchy subjects. It was just odd because I am not usually that sensitive. Then it got worse. At this point, everything I do makes me spiral into really bad anxiety. Eating, watching tv, walking, laying down, typing, reading, drawing. The thought of telling someone makes me panic like i never have. I feel like im going crazy. Like my head will pop. Today I was seeing things crawling and that made me more anxious. And i was shoving my head into my hoodie much more than I usually do. I didnt want to exist so I hid. Someone kindly told me that what i was doing wasnt the thing i was supposed to, and I almost screamed. Not out of anger but out of fear and embarrassment. If my parents get too close to me, I freeze up. My hands keep shaking and I feel so cold. I need advice to help me now. Im trying to get a therapist again, im working on that, but I need advice that can at least ease my situation. Im going crazy, what do I do? Can this be helped in any way???",1.8688095238095244,4.095950462365593,3.4372900665642625,88.16641129032259,80.21863799283155,5.8495135688684075,22.509088581669225,7.021680442328713,0.79980993343574,1085,35,215,13,28,358,157,279,0.173,0.742,0.085,-0.9636,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,1,1,9,18,2,4,7,0,27,6,4,8,1,44,51,19,1,5,6,1,4,6,0,2,1,1,0,0,18,16,1,2,5,4,0,4,7,9,0,0,14,9,37,9,23,33,8,30,0,1,3,0,8,14,1,3,17,146,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727532363998007,0.0783550626429707,0.0,0.08851282281975695,0.0,0.0,0.07068785149191231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060110272253917026,0.0,0.13524080865508128,0.19971786361615096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380446420787284,0.053883553377697416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613276280614008,0.0,0.09173798026779036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044810803513664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888386055654213,0.0,0.0,0.099466701584664,0.08938831510355373,0.06314797804759135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236339016139332,0.0,0.10047155972169068,0.0,0.07069595828179892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18143344216931293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184959315362504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819184404317408,0.0,0.0,0.07856776128841841,0.0,0.09204770894721727,0.048578482035581565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038783300634,0.0,0.2591061342483193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16727919084793494,0.2950150749544589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995805369830585,0.13108458141432142,0.06817413213581809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063601825466954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371014211174677,0.09814996773683644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355995771167331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332668871599927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884169220615025,0.0,0.0566268202954992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087555608487615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311960440114687,0.09935743738731992,0.0,0.09010553359908886,0.1497902069206065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390050736428821,0.0,0.0,0.10118883906022608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725937953001223,0.0,0.0,0.1026310878171548,0.2348975304077555,0.0,0.0,0.07017416972386473,0.0,0.0,0.0837862300511886,0.0844633010849044,0.0,0.060013045858057626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29205720977751504,0.0,0.052136482562713735,0.0701622503620701,0.07090353414790639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435115796397796,0.0,0.09008002031683944,0.06279185226008073,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cryean,2019/03/27,"Today was hard, but I found a walk outside really helped A bit of background, I lost my job a few months ago in January and I’ve been on the hunt since. I’ve wanted a career change for a while now so it seemed the perfect time to do this.  It’s been difficult and a slow process, with many many failed applications and interviews.

I’ve managed to keep fairly upbeat throughout, but today I finally couldn’t stay positive. Mentally I was exhausted. It was a struggle to even get out of bed, and then when I did I couldn’t find enjoyment in anything. I felt lethargic and couldn’t concentrate on anything. TV didn’t entertain me, PS4 bored me and I didn’t even have the energy for the gym so I found myself just sat in the sofa.

Mid afternoon I really wanted coffee, but haven’t got any in the house. I needed to do a shop today but again couldn’t face doing that. So I went for a quick walk to my local Starbucks. 15 minutes there and back doesn’t sound like a lot, but that 30 minutes walk helped massively. 

I came home and actually wanted to do something, so I managed to do a shop and go back to the gym properly. It sounds so insignificant but that quick walk in the sun helped so much. 

I hope this doesn’t come across as a brag or anything, I just needed to voice how something so small had such a change on my mental health today ",3.3675714285714307,4.829382011111111,4.502063492063495,85.68500000000004,73.33333333333333,7.957671957671959,25.079365079365076,8.563005593585519,1.5934920634920635,1053,33,217,19,21,345,139,270,0.103,0.792,0.104,0.5095,1,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,3,21,11,0,1,21,0,22,3,1,1,1,41,41,28,0,10,9,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,3,0,9,13,0,1,5,6,2,8,9,6,0,0,17,5,22,5,26,20,4,41,0,2,0,0,4,13,0,4,20,142,31,6,0.0,0.0,0.10885654639388098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888219700656524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585771209466732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27538802531777323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154987304638514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217835272016222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758329249072656,0.0,0.0,0.23600986606148974,0.09609030439962957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735522615999652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071053336622174,0.1221973902602534,0.10195452706837327,0.0,0.0,0.24461726985865914,0.0,0.0,0.05828018403704562,0.0,0.06339634113513383,0.0,0.08921659224805545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992674033787012,0.0,0.0,0.11857225687375275,0.0,0.0,0.22430850639544087,0.0,0.1118935783771196,0.1107941545249192,0.0,0.12871353107472094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069599748450537,0.09915061756106117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05449761412587408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176982065278336,0.09483567951677953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261880457823125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248319910540657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903801297884026,0.0,0.08200196282746826,0.16542557643015166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292335967693195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015507790440764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227517512660617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17175302356442768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889728050247307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166161062055472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504560506635583,0.0,0.4229447965148058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973849461452037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340781337152533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CreepyPastaKittyFay,2019/03/27,"Help with new councillor Ok first off and visually impaired and using voice input on my phone so sorry for any typos lack of grammar etc etc

So I've just started seeing a new counsellor for free so it's a limited time of 4 sessions and I've had my first session already. I was seeing a private counsellor but decided to take a break as well these settings are free and you know I thought it might be good to get a new perspective on things plus this we cancelling is via university and my mental health is quite linked with university performance.

So I had my first session and well first off, yeah I kinda feel bad cuz I think everyone has first impressions but mine are really strong and very hard if not impossible to change yeah I feel bad because it's kind of bit she but I can't help it. But I didn't get a good first impression of a counsellor it's nothing that they did as it was as I'm talking literally when I first saw them and they said a few words I can't really describe it but ya didn't get a good first impression

Then well every council has a different style don't they and this one well I took a lot and sort of guide the session Uno with probing questions and such but this approach really isn't what I want and isn't working for what I need as I'm wanting to focus on very specific issues and nothing else just because it's these issues that are affecting me the most and this is how it's been with my private counsellor who I seen for quite some years I do the majority of a talking and I need the session with a counsellor occasionally giving import where relevant

So what should I do? My counselor is nice and I don't want to hurt feelings should I just go to my remaining free sessions despite me failing vault don't didn't get anything for my first session and won't get anything from these free? Am I just being a massive bitch my counselor is nice and trying to help? And if not then what should I do? Thanks in advance :) .",2.416583610926047,4.6340575797468375,3.7890106595602937,86.41143071285809,78.26582278481013,7.0946035976015995,26.597268487674885,8.119692808369301,1.7939367088607594,1564,64,313,29,38,513,177,395,0.076,0.721,0.202,0.9951,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,2,4,17,17,25,1,0,18,3,37,1,0,4,0,70,67,42,0,11,14,0,4,0,0,5,1,2,0,0,24,26,0,1,9,0,4,4,13,5,4,10,14,10,41,24,35,46,9,31,0,2,4,0,18,7,1,9,18,221,65,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851894915163954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05249702771363659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705412451730672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289135735916858,0.09411790327713468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427980525683973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166484420107283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065508052560127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448870436967265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219150151228702,0.0,0.0,0.0650423229863027,0.07376563258787297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710030613679552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5909782927746023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20166284693179573,0.07405498986780645,0.043873185541911976,0.1942490990284284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915390290579712,0.0,0.0,0.08205745840846974,0.0,0.0,0.15523180902095374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826416471087774,0.0,0.0,0.16114851402364874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803894400472281,0.04242579216636537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656306545288481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779704224764719,0.08189447365662887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448211171410315,0.0,0.2236738226240382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814639372278887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052311104100473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647900008412028,0.16421833916741918,0.0,0.0,0.1483643132656528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343261315066127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303301406990033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641641350789153,0.05464087161927046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058043001655305675,0.12409704291085555,0.0,0.07107319517190197,0.0,0.0,0.05128666740848596,0.04946511675102299,0.0,0.061286285931521536,0.04501455208083965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576939448256651,0.05241211549137336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667395620600282,0.0,0.12739223989480772,0.13659946631540798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776397199189192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056200785595666936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049712735209691966
mentalhealth,mtgartfan,2019/03/27,"Need help with intrusive thoughts Hello all,

32 year old male, no history of mental health diagnosis, except a bit of insomnia, and occasional anxiety.  For the past 3-4 days, out of nowhere, I have become plagued with intrusive thoughts.  These thoughts are of a violent, sexual nature, and seem to be directed towards pretty much everyone I love, including my mother, my wife, and my 4 year old son.  They even happen with people I meet in public.  Picture the most degrading porn videos you've seen but I'm the one doing terrible things to other people, and these thoughts are very visual.  I have always had a very normal sex life and sexual preferences, and I am NOT attracted to kids in any way.  I don't even like violent or degrading porn videos, always found them creepy and gross.

It's like my brain is throwing the most disturbing things at me that it possibly can, and it has me pretty shaken and confused.  I'm fully aware that these are just thoughts, and don't mean anything about me as a person.  I consider myself a very good, gentle, loving person, and a committed and responsible dad and husband.  Since these thoughts started I've become anxious and depressed, and haven't been getting more than 4 hours of sleep a night.  I understand that the way forward is acceptance and not trying to fight the thoughts, but how can I possibly ""accept"" these images that keep popping into my mind?  I feel like I can't unsee the things that my mind has produced and I'm going a bit crazy because of this.

Anyone else have any advice or similar experience?",7.230103806228371,7.626157685121112,7.331349480968862,72.77930795847755,63.844290657439444,10.813840830449829,34.30103806228374,10.59048541779884,3.7542858131487886,1237,50,212,29,17,399,166,289,0.179,0.705,0.116,-0.9607,0,0,0,0,1,0,38.0,0,0,2,1,5,19,3,2,15,0,21,10,2,2,2,57,45,23,0,3,8,5,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,4,18,22,0,1,15,2,0,3,7,10,0,1,11,2,23,9,24,33,7,20,0,1,1,5,18,7,0,6,13,135,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973585867029536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282093193807642,0.0,0.0,0.1248959963476944,0.0,0.07025020396053681,0.10374250785042266,0.0,0.06421013301786928,0.09409136376729456,0.07556880914398438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05597911832301799,0.20283949959283384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20051059475141236,0.0,0.0,0.10251338738404224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059223179086463684,0.0,0.07909361336119995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671273342709628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130657042045424,0.0,0.0,0.08774813146123298,0.0,0.08982800692907769,0.0,0.0,0.046432341170990515,0.06560384223748307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068757941421558,0.0,0.0,0.047977729960732025,0.0,0.052189480622547545,0.07702320118368504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120554983896143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761169795736016,0.0,0.0,0.06155215605184591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043470275270946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162331045078068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486271129375945,0.134591466580134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657615128890817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000305104072708,0.0,0.0,0.09254370702114637,0.0,0.18544557833083408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750610166717133,0.0680912712073737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617685413602487,0.0899745498325516,0.0,0.0,0.1927216613111197,0.0,0.06222683217719975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766275634001927,0.1273276349181215,0.1603659814173955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20705054389419725,0.0,0.18684959097251191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835991844360285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596327134947722,0.0,0.09189697954350258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499821417910995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302463123083992,0.0,0.0,0.5103230081838648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06234699058290784,0.0,0.0,0.0955989562029754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22730973668762885,0.0,0.145781807940424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827186920090645
mentalhealth,ignien,2019/03/27,"Whats the difference between a life coach and a psychologist? Hi! I'm currently looking for a therapist and I noticed many of them have ""Life Coach"" titles on their websites.

What's the difference between a life coach and a psychologist? Do they have different approaches/situations to work in? 

Thank you! ",3.971031746031745,7.258681870370374,5.118571428571432,72.105,82.14814814814815,9.752380952380953,33.64021164021164,9.606745405546679,4.640754497354498,247,14,39,9,7,81,37,54,0.0,0.922,0.078,0.5609,2,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,7,0,3,3,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,7,6,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,1,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6996531947839388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4730013549144498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18744885512723627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263103756695344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25413782167970145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551128642061414,0.0,0.2591760042459712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625070565306562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xretrospect,2019/03/27,"What to do if a friend is homicidal? So, I’m friends with this person whose mental health seems to be continually going downhill. I haven’t know him for too long, maybe 6 months or so. He is 26 years old and he lives with his father at the moment who I don’t know and don’t have his contact information. He has always been eccentric but at this point, he is talking about taking others down with him—IE, talking about shootings, hurting people, etc. what can I do to anonymously report this situation and get him help before he hurts anyone? I have no way to get into contact with his family. I’m trying to avoid alerting him to the fact that it’s me that is trying to get him help and out of the way of others. What can I do in this situation? I’m actually scared and scared for the safety of others in/around his life. Is there a number I can call while not getting myself involved? Thanks in advance.",4.639401473296502,5.367188000000001,5.678135359116022,81.21823434622469,69.5524861878453,8.022283609576428,26.13305709023941,8.07648339933343,1.4948891344383055,712,20,141,9,12,236,103,181,0.114,0.78,0.106,-0.5529999999999999,0,1,0,1,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,0,3,6,0,19,2,0,0,1,21,32,11,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,15,11,0,1,4,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,1,0,16,3,25,30,1,19,0,2,0,0,28,8,0,3,7,97,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.13905109757838222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856429860869293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963333279395747,0.0,0.0,0.1268475977206541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124972635782626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454996988280101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891562925477634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432825476417332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201770768862398,0.0,0.2977835996412556,0.0,0.08098117301459258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146174490033235,0.0,0.0,0.19101802659067807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050800820621312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661914553359574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064592294881322,0.0,0.0,0.1258225582153088,0.12610044660052974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315181060679713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435978641729084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373531350248613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14952080392569414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878562796415842,0.12441803531961572,0.0,0.0,0.13470047466736365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853175924484001,0.0,0.0,0.12971886169275298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203327130438504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071358348220308,0.22905845514598025,0.0,0.13118698001578644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19348467818061904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262061563054373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917598200659229
mentalhealth,mrsmeap,2019/03/27,Me making a big change for the worse I always compare myself to my siblings and trying to be ‘better’ than them (no me thinking what ‘better’ means) and it’s my only motivation to even get up in the morning; I go to school get educated and go on the internet searching up scientific vids on YouTube. It takes a toll on my life to be ‘better’ than them because I’m the youngest in my family and it would take up the majority of my day to do so. I have high scores on my tests but brain says you got 5 questions wrong you did bad. My old friends are taking initiative of my insecurities and are taking up their time passively ditching me and others; they’re different people. ,5.651672932330829,5.85049517293233,6.774953007518799,76.10047462406017,67.19548872180451,9.657518796992482,31.66259398496241,9.516144504307137,2.7775571428571424,530,20,103,10,8,179,86,133,0.12,0.838,0.042,-0.8968,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,3,4,2,7,0,1,7,0,8,2,1,2,0,13,21,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,2,1,20,4,21,16,1,17,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,1,3,71,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335364936022992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381491266945314,0.09769629882073244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.425225160927702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17890918662216165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953954018129633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033579229983302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744322969535808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585378358702943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108395356104135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238206485965552,0.0,0.1674641110257265,0.0,0.18216503749765894,0.0,0.12817887894853244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693291916992303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132001899049628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697839735009412,0.0,0.0,0.17457600135014495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16817157519375575,0.0,0.0,0.1218890566770326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110784737014126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953392372243612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274494767188814,0.0,0.1621971384882839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4819985347503287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269159552100644,0.0,0.0,0.09345204213531473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880968484379602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332413196591722,0.11384794018516295,0.1752250533443095,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Disp0sablepr0file,2019/03/27,"Survivor of attempted murder: I feel like I don't know who I am anymore BACK STORY: Last year, I was violently attacked and almost killed by my romantic partner. It was out of the blue and a complete surprise. I had trusted this person and we were incredibly close. (I thought.) They had a secret alcohol addiction and some mental issues. I was very in love with this person and then, suddenly, they were beating be. I was almost killed...that's as far into it as I would like to go. The neighbors heard the screaming and called the police, my partner was put in jail, I was hospitalized, and that was that. Never spoke to them again, no closure, which is okay with me. I feel like a relapse is possible and their drunk-ego would happily finish the job of ending me if they could. Many legal barriers were put in place for my protection.  Anyway, now, over a year later, I feel like I have a different personality. After the attack I was emotionally distraught for a long time. I had to grieve the loss of a loved one in a way. I had counseling, moved to another state, took up new hobbies, got really into by job and was promoted, and went on with my life. I am in a healthy and happy relationship now complete with a background check. MY QUESTION IS: Why do I feel so absolutely ""not myself?"" I don't know who I am any more. I look back on who I was and I don't recognize those feelings or motivations or interests. It's like someone just blew a whole new personality into me. All I do is work and sleep. I am just..blank. I sustained a head injury but never got any conclusive diagnosis. I know I had a concussion and broken ribs and other things. Kidney damage, etc. etc. Did my brain get damaged? I don't seem unhealthy, I work, I eat well, I sleep. But I just don't know who I AM. I don't ever feel happy. I don't feel much of anything but confusion. Am I in a fog? I remember feeling a lot of things right after the incident. Has anyone gone through this?? HELP. TL;DR - My long-time romantic partner beat me nearly to death out of the blue for no reason because of a secret issue they had. I suffered many injuries (obviously) and am trying to figure out if I have brain damage because over a year later I don't feel like myself. I feel distanced and totally blank.   ",1.9958627779105917,4.4086672494382055,4.012665551039923,83.1574778866842,81.0,6.84341381783409,24.524264881663882,7.987972078202968,1.6628952904613912,1766,67,337,34,47,600,212,445,0.128,0.737,0.135,-0.6755,3,0,1,0,0,0,76.0,1,0,6,9,11,29,5,2,26,1,48,13,7,2,6,78,76,28,4,5,10,0,10,6,4,2,3,3,1,7,17,29,2,2,24,0,1,7,13,14,1,1,28,16,62,15,46,44,9,55,0,6,3,2,29,22,0,11,30,250,79,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191408897860204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030219853507889,0.15048444307780295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021960497385327,0.07879122430600094,0.0,0.0,0.07451905125630702,0.052539890304763213,0.0,0.06183411801656905,0.0,0.0,0.17096602559340815,0.0,0.11555660508590394,0.0,0.09160973814616537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677629954894619,0.0767267138559813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756648618323255,0.0,0.0,0.059993467221077075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785056886079534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688735220220755,0.0,0.0845227970023429,0.06655206054332866,0.0,0.16760273885497762,0.0,0.06796876200473788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799322625664505,0.2147211670637171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039257739405506364,0.0,0.04270400103684762,0.0,0.12019322817838607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599766315324186,0.0,0.0,0.07711569248033162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503650027649945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685403794940506,0.14913043581732632,0.0,0.08313168089530105,0.0,0.16518071804298648,0.06124942632155641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530738619603117,0.22025872109965916,0.0,0.0,0.13299371698173867,0.06309898201099727,0.0,0.0,0.06388165127356688,0.13563422616676807,0.0,0.0,0.15236107271587293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572381471214276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986231647095704,0.05523681403227014,0.0,0.11590576348087266,0.14514206548215822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050917055968302274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26243867365734497,0.0785056886079534,0.0,0.0,0.08470947148416036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107364145537916,0.08417440547438483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04813684189457888,0.07725680982461282,0.0,0.08067263150765858,0.08511938580018817,0.06416946114544772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840496621637986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038926093521782,0.0,0.06366618742026194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983983935227138,0.0,0.0,0.059653056545530714,0.04381495109118612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348371028163308,0.0510153754882656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061998670456208785,0.0,0.05964292423664955,0.0,0.0,0.06756021212524721,0.06965587114913932,0.06780249207153237,0.08389153409938721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109406161267059,0.0,0.0,0.10675511881960648,0.0,0.0,0.14516379444874247
mentalhealth,_littlemissc_,2019/03/27,"I don't want to get better So I know it sounds bad, and to be honest, it is, but I'm sort of being forced into treatment and I don't want it. I feel like it should go to someone that wants to get better and live their life freely, but I'm not at that stage right now. I just want everyone to leave me alone and let me get on with my life, my headteacher keeps trying to help me recover, but I just want him to stop trying. What do I do?",2.871271477663236,2.615139855670108,4.339742268041238,92.74335910652924,73.12371134020619,7.703780068728522,21.3213058419244,7.1686216300943375,0.2296130584192437,334,5,85,3,6,112,57,97,0.17,0.657,0.172,0.637,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,4,5,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,0,23,23,8,0,6,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,2,14,4,12,19,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,54,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193101986146062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15567475058390007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297929433467394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815728995540547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094272777454676,0.1331971695472012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29223126027906104,0.0,0.1059616458727789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497092679351045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572190820410065,0.0,0.0,0.10246593015476334,0.0,0.0,0.19741955620264506,0.0,0.1906538244007766,0.2633848646306817,0.0910881730005227,0.0,0.16463536968049608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592239966431706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797522109637352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587733310489962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531693996021638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5498538609000925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Miloandtoast,2019/03/27,"Please help So I've had temper issues my whole life, but for the last few years it's been pretty manageable. For some reason, I can't for the life of me deal with losing in anything I consider competitive.

I know it's silly while it's happening, yet I'm completely unable to control it. It could be something as little as losing a video game to an AI that sets me off.

Its intense anger too, I would never take it out physically on someone else, but I will be absolutely fuming for the next 20 minutes when this happens, and will sometimes hit myself.

Am I a narcissist? I genuinely don't understand what's happening to me.

Please send answers. ",4.046428571428572,5.790392531746032,5.431936507936507,78.56028571428574,72.09523809523809,8.532063492063491,28.473015873015875,9.120678840339163,2.540212063492063,513,20,94,11,10,172,91,126,0.147,0.736,0.117,-0.8390000000000001,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,4,6,3,0,6,0,11,2,0,2,1,14,19,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,4,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,0,12,1,15,10,3,14,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,1,7,66,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339826364845701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070812940828353,0.0,0.18261054558825165,0.1299943003630562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785482043179095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601080118805287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43192954028981095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913127046137257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699362602866005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947870855812733,0.13271572207968713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300016942735479,0.0,0.16318311587079196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642960359952837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557274424746448,0.0,0.17315529488274772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3574433261288969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564109655917178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740064221365614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795237838116695,0.1253427208470928,0.16102791479699058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241640199876876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694958587059753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177681315611627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565890107660068,0.0,0.0,0.10484733739354628
mentalhealth,m_eye_nd,2019/03/27,"I feel like there just aren’t enough options for us! For years I have struggled with severe anxiety and many other issues, but anxiety being my main issue. I was so against pharmaceuticals and they just made me even more anxious and paranoid. Fast forward and I have what feels like ‘given in’ to taking pills for my anxiety. 

I have had therapy and been to the doctors lots of times. The therapy, helps, but not enough. The doctors have prescribed me many things for my problems many times. For example; citalopram, which like everything else just sat in my draw untouched. I want to get better of course, but meds scare the hell out of me. I eventually agreed with my doctor to take propanalol for my anxiety. He told me it’s not addictive and has the least side effects. This somewhat put me at ease and contributed to my decision to give them ago. They do help. Not a massive massive amount, but enough to notice. Just having them in my bag knowing I can reach for them makes me feel a little better. 

However, I have recently been informed of 2 different individuals who died in what was suspected to be down to the propanalol. Now I feel I don’t want to take them anymore. I have already quit my birth control pills and refuse to use anymore hormonal birth control methods - because I just don’t want to risk my health considering my mental wellbeing isn’t all that balanced. I really thought propanalol was safe. Now I just feel nothing is. 

Other than meds increasing suicidal tendencies leading to suicide - what causes the accidental deaths from meds? Why is it even a possibility that we can die from taking them?! I don’t understand that. We are looking for help specifically because our mental health is suffering, but we do have the desire to live... 

I just feel nothing is safe and I thought I’d finally found something that works for me. I could just continue to carry on with them since I have been fine on them. That’s the logical thing to probably do. But this just isn’t possible for me. It was a big deal to even take them in the first place. Now I have this information, taking them will have the opposite affect and I will just feel anxious about dying from them. 

I feel that our discoveries in mental health are still in the early stages. There really aren’t all that many options for us. I’m so fed up with it. I just feel trapped. ",4.120796434566183,6.401312476297967,4.608848758465012,82.25101348613764,73.22121896162528,8.065034438849338,28.966197835272325,8.841846274778883,2.4647622735428607,1869,78,345,39,39,592,201,443,0.155,0.741,0.105,-0.9825,4,1,2,0,0,1,49.0,7,0,12,9,23,14,1,3,16,0,43,10,0,9,2,81,77,18,6,6,20,0,9,3,0,2,9,0,0,0,23,18,1,5,20,0,0,4,10,6,0,1,16,10,62,8,55,56,12,38,1,1,1,0,30,18,1,4,20,251,85,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168031537720111,0.0,0.0,0.05828593698322684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255990845683474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012030106273641,0.14856401642096026,0.1304183239358798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016465792173191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630611045642025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754629260251413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749483168631194,0.0524983028511974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778830435988775,0.0,0.0,0.2047232414791499,0.0686977367201439,0.0,0.20190249403977384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054928071552848255,0.0,0.0,0.2038208223292843,0.0,0.13028741805070004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909442460819218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29921956366829355,0.09394770280182514,0.0,0.07202903660960344,0.0,0.05592934326680001,0.0,0.07209460958398893,0.0,0.0,0.03435315190183899,0.0630761281694668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20967662434655496,0.0,0.0,0.13221825428998465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372577910417567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03613604848442725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963705681761706,0.06590163271205643,0.0580609739455866,0.0,0.055215836334456835,0.0,0.0,0.055900724371137384,0.0,0.06221693945159903,0.04389054003121299,0.2666522909468077,0.0,0.0,0.219109790661706,0.0,0.19879023210094066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618327184952072,0.07486005907444385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686977367201439,0.0,0.0,0.1482529246710366,0.0,0.0,0.07089269672202464,0.06291660031094615,0.0,0.06609977843697061,0.0,0.06993625296277364,0.0,0.0,0.08424592280254076,0.0,0.06492300996432326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583007664260197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428200821048013,0.0,0.054391439565086686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061975871900503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05251031343128438,0.0,0.0,0.06873915854716015,0.0,0.14384589836819595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966277749779736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038823590199124,0.0,0.08736654782121027,0.0,0.0,0.10440084141116762,0.0766820348395325,0.0,0.0,0.06282966892467542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845103898800549,0.15818517271578422,0.05678935362387379,0.0,0.0,0.11634820908856945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059331722731082275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04786886017788897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042342681611849856
mentalhealth,buyingsecrets,2019/03/27,"I have intense, vivid, frequent, disturbing nightmares that cause distress. Wondering if this could somehow be connected to the neglect I faced as kid. Looking for others opinions on this situation. CW: Graphic violence Hello.
I’ve had very disturbing nightmares for years now. The two common themes are the torture of myself and the torture of children. 
I have seen children commit suicide, stabbed, amputated, burned, enslaved, and chemically burned.
I have had dreams of myself being skinned alive, cannibalized, tasered to death, tied up and dragged across the parking lot, shot, enslaved, starved, etc. 
Occasionally I will see other people commit suicide or acts self-mutilation, such as cutting deep gashes into themselves or setting themselves on fire.
These dreams are incredibly vivid. I feel everything that happens. For example, I felt the burning shocks travel up and down my body as I got tasered and I felt the rough, painful road rash I’d get from being dragged across the parking lot, etc.

I was severely neglected as a child. My mom was sick and had severe depression and my dad worked 6 days a week with long hours. My mom would lay in bed all day doing nothing. Starting in Elementary school, my room was absolutely filthy and ugly, I would spend nights sneezing all night due to the dust. I didn’t have clothes that fit me properly or underwear that wasn’t worn. I had lice for years that my mom knew about but gave up in treating. She wouldn’t brush our hair so our hair became matted in parts. My mom never made us lunches as young children so we were often hungry. She didn’t allow us to visit friends and she didn’t allow friends to come over due to her minor hoarding problem. We were extremely isolated and filthy. She wouldn’t take us to the doctor or dentist. I developed deep depression and anxiety in about fourth grade. As I went through middle school, the filthiness of the house intensified as well as my depression and anxiety. My mom became extremely angry during this time and would blame the state of the house on my sister and I, despite her never teaching us how to clean, basic hygiene practices, etc. She would call me and my sisters selfish and yell at us as loud as she can. She would often cry at dinner and storm off. My twin and I shared a room, and often, many nights in a row, we would try to stifle our crying so the other one didn’t find out.
Eventually we cleaned the house up and moved. I thought my anxiety and depression would end but it didn’t. The isolation continued and by 11th grade, I suffered from an eight month long DPDR episode. 
Luckily, I got a job at a place I loved and my anxiety, depression, and DPDR went away as I got rid of the isolation now that I finally made friends. (My sister never developed this type of anxiety since she wasn’t ever isolated due to her being on softball teams and having friends throughout middle and high school. )

I now don’t suffer from anxiety or depression, but my dreams continue to distress me. Today I broke down after having a nightmare last night. I cried after the dream, and thought about everything that happened during my childhood and how it could affect these dreams. Today I cried twice for about 30 minutes in between classes. I am overwhelmed by the nightmares and disturbed by my childhood. I am bitter about not having a childhood and the fact that I don’t remember much about it. 
Sometimes, the dreams would begin in my old filthy bedroom, but I have trained myself to recognize the pattern that they will turn into nightmares and try to wake up before they become twisted. 
I am curious on your thoughts about my nightmares and how it might connect to my childhood. I don’t know for sure, it’s just a theory, so if any of you guys have other reasons why I suffer from such graphic, vivid, painful, and disturbing nightmares, please share.
((I do not read, watch, or play anything extraordinary violent.)) 
Thank you for your input. I greatly appreciate it.",5.6437884767166535,7.639085900552487,5.52230860299921,78.49758287292819,68.4475138121547,8.265351223362273,32.956195737963704,8.841846274778883,2.973590844514602,3168,145,533,56,56,986,334,724,0.211,0.684,0.105,-0.9978,1,2,0,0,0,4,98.0,12,4,2,2,26,42,5,7,33,0,55,16,7,10,10,111,86,63,3,15,15,9,8,0,4,13,6,2,6,6,25,42,2,2,12,10,1,7,17,29,1,4,32,19,92,13,90,35,9,93,0,13,7,1,56,41,0,17,43,377,117,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036760459883852604,0.0,0.2481197040777471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044484118918824464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078811844475088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059701459659965726,0.04599833305191503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004488948749333,0.0,0.0,0.05519800998059857,0.0,0.0,0.05553119733754582,0.0,0.04656512413268636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631987051225895,0.0,0.2375153109260728,0.06972429421809423,0.0,0.2793541204897409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532939858714532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047878256704639015,0.0,0.1808627762188107,0.0,0.04889744672955233,0.0,0.0,0.0971654854183396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02733272906807735,0.0,0.10380596020410092,0.05921655344637409,0.0494069119511129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16705651744106634,0.0,0.028242433210267762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297024206141025,0.0595977839745248,0.0,0.053524704876390695,0.09560445312885936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711394946442544,0.0,0.0,0.05323503330554085,0.1871227775632024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536430069200343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029708189185103588,0.04406348552538264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956770875277443,0.04539407546302887,0.0,0.0,0.09191427202770992,0.048788348890563056,0.1022996528545606,0.0,0.054805084108068114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05734569450265714,0.0,0.3165532008325204,0.043147601131997455,0.05745379568727561,0.039737948610346095,0.0,0.12507574939482494,0.0,0.0,0.20291448129785875,0.0,0.05186893240023742,0.0,0.056723490796729815,0.0,0.03663026894122546,0.0,0.11504043726237495,0.0,0.0,0.058538218253691425,0.0,0.03747616058470908,0.0,0.05647782324484061,0.05933810471063974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05172503201966415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407140235143065,0.0,0.0,0.0555793666306712,0.0,0.0,0.06123578700060457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412502317997604,0.04307624998101766,0.0,0.0563930044393224,0.12213753553697886,0.0,0.04471632191179066,0.06076207866453249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346353153682416,0.0,0.03826166273899681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825867358090253,0.0,0.05094786959039257,0.0,0.0406439664646768,0.0,0.0,0.049768214577513306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874512064027596,0.031520939527924195,0.0,0.10247900177877692,0.0,0.0,0.07340200208889172,0.05879824712358391,0.05280561326640253,0.0,0.3251182153566125,0.0,0.0,0.044602499685432236,0.0,0.0,0.04336108330465329,0.0,0.04860353162238343,0.10022234180690773,0.048777830379896366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586222653009881,0.039353975154556436,0.0,0.0,0.3072030492610629,0.0,0.0,0.06962158003919783
mentalhealth,notababyimatumor,2019/03/27,"I feel trapped and I need advice I’ve been mentally ill for almost all of my life - anxiety and depression - along with a learning disorder - add - and while I’m trying to defeat them, I’m stuck in a job that is so emotionally exhausting it destroys anytime I have for myself. 

I want to learn to new skills so I can get a better job or at least a different job in a similar position but my job is draining me so badly I can’t really function outside of it. I’m trying to self regulate my schedule,  take my meds and do my best but I can feel myself slipping further into a bad place. At work my performance is abysmal and worsening just as badly. 

Does anyone have any advice on how to dig myself out of this rut? ",4.821249999999999,5.1344136250000005,6.5472222222222225,76.62000000000002,69.0,10.011111111111113,31.972222222222214,9.994966539143718,3.1661722222222206,558,23,108,13,9,194,92,144,0.237,0.705,0.058,-0.9777,5,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,6,5,9,1,0,6,0,10,3,0,1,1,23,20,14,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,10,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,2,18,2,20,18,3,12,0,2,0,0,2,9,0,2,3,75,22,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855169233978571,0.0,0.0,0.14628906166637698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934690866703648,0.0,0.11175923649752716,0.0,0.0,0.10215024351406732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659397182850711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331352071209928,0.1292056422424008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582798828660902,0.0,0.0,0.15263403029630898,0.16743297474058416,0.0,0.12784524303138398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433274310617765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477360265310451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632653240847576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5798912120194434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318841345175643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227419816520314,0.0,0.14722539517670502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832464609721243,0.0,0.14109562512536336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263403029630898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358965336636042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240480340002727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984227175041426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983724365947322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616827336098012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635600826859934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,colee0,2019/03/27,"Need advice on how to help my dad who is struggling with deep depression Hello,

Long time Reddit lurker, first time posting...I'm just at a loss and I don't know what to do to help my dad.   
So, last February (2018) my stepmom passed away from a 2 year long battle with ovarian cancer. She was everything to my dad. He retired to take care of her full time and they went through many ups and downs through the entire cancer process. I know watching her die was absolutely awful, and my dad overcame fears of needles and bodily fluids and all sorts of stuff to be able to take care of her. Since her passing, he has been a total mess, even now over a year later. At first he just sat at his house all day long and stewed and replayed everything in his head over and over again. He also didn't have a purpose anymore, he stopped working to take care of her and she was his whole purpose in life. I thought having him start working or find a hobby to take up his time and give him a purpose would help. He went back to work in November and I thought it was helping, but he told me today he is still very depressed and thinks about everything every minute of every day and is fighting deep, deep depression. I also have tried, to no avail, to get him to go see a therapist. He is self medicating with Xanax and weed. He had started drinking heavily too, but lately he's been better about that. My dad has been through a lot of things in life and has always been quite a loner and has always overcame obstacles on his own.  This time is different. He scares me. Around the holidays, he talked openly about batting severe depression and even said that he scares himself and doesn't care about living anymore. I feel helpless. There is nothing I can do or say to make him better. I really thought he may kill himself on Thanksgiving, he was a total wreck and just shut down to everyone and refused to leave the house. I try to encourage to go to therapy and he won't do it. I thought it would start to get a little better over time and by keeping busy, but he's not. I call him every day just to make sure he hasn't killed himself. I know this is not what my stepmom would want for him, she would want him to be happy. To remember her, but not live his life in a dark pit. Nothing I say or do helps. I know he has to want to help himself. I guess what I'm doing here is looking for advice. How do I help him if he won't get therapy? I feel so helpless and worried. 

Thanks for reading..",3.279521229943768,4.769835366197183,4.07657947686117,88.533254398184,73.6076458752515,7.029025434659238,26.42568229892173,7.61054688173877,1.326331826858588,1935,68,401,24,39,619,219,497,0.154,0.7240000000000001,0.123,-0.953,1,0,1,0,2,1,54.0,0,0,1,10,24,27,4,4,16,1,46,9,1,4,5,81,91,38,3,9,15,5,2,0,0,7,7,3,0,1,13,29,1,3,13,3,0,6,10,16,0,2,20,8,54,11,68,62,8,62,0,7,3,0,74,28,0,8,28,262,67,4,0.06345635793212978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401763710997896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149205302434702,0.10560154636475813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586331167329134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056489612088734265,0.0,0.0,0.059619337132804005,0.04879402232259231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836597559421684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479603629484935,0.0,0.25879194422546925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277230375813443,0.0,0.21861947241372487,0.0,0.06585768106667066,0.06629838804176208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06216307268571361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382465188601332,0.0,0.16039415522428568,0.060635269366627324,0.17109144845945534,0.0,0.0,0.07140604459128767,0.06417088244141146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799796154111319,0.1079518912807482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945998386484896,0.060873120734485676,0.0721274211303435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990433239529209,0.0,0.0,0.06755047298493325,0.0,0.0,0.06512453039807177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977342138350236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464402344799509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640292657360466,0.14041011642058862,0.0,0.13949581916948295,0.05172540112195729,0.07158153571184367,0.06719112067535242,0.0,0.0,0.13446330670475182,0.0,0.06359994123137461,0.11206625325688238,0.1684706397444105,0.05328735877085787,0.0,0.0,0.053948326293062884,0.0,0.0,0.08471522333278275,0.0643347870739695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639256046691777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04705208535408243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177617372663208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674936476583109,0.06347353012378852,0.0,0.040651767784231865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188368345941247,0.0,0.06036152775320594,0.10092608555868253,0.12706176868241434,0.0,0.05056650154955018,0.0,0.0661988206406406,0.07168762232913123,0.0,0.05249175502136708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347442102573299,0.0,0.05067632941451801,0.053052356618878346,0.0,0.06633836316309842,0.0726423480316671,0.0,0.0,0.05980686637588325,0.0,0.19084513569510966,0.05100381682172876,0.0,0.05842208875334229,0.14513575114364238,0.07367772245756299,0.04215758455708573,0.040660271907476835,0.0,0.2015090402165888,0.2220114756764258,0.0,0.06014920756247845,0.060635269366627324,0.0,0.08616540330236848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05235814098142482,0.1122846120177376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764935909025988,0.0,0.07084675747403628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859095300849758,0.06444301172499275,0.0,0.1803103040925278,0.0,0.0,0.08172762801974663
mentalhealth,phsywarrior350,2019/03/27,"Bad days from great days? How come whenever I have an amazing day, the follow few days are absolute shit. Like my brain feels foggy, i cant think critically or anything. Its happened to me once last week and once this week, where one great productive days kills me for the rest of the week. Its almost a physical repulsion.",4.4365573770491835,6.450105114754102,4.6434098360655724,83.50118032786884,71.62295081967213,8.814426229508197,26.95409836065573,9.3871,2.3550039344262297,256,9,49,6,5,80,49,61,0.141,0.6659999999999999,0.193,0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,5,0,3,2,2,1,0,7,8,3,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,0,1,5,4,4,8,2,12,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,10,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916099924838585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901664487560994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105116656169686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858398498526144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14551996268499814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5447358340516445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541709676821856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724962603071278,0.0,0.0,0.14938601271832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868982324262775,0.0,0.0,0.13770212984192726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253164378620907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598141405975384,0.11447269751240458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17340627389311686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824480661658284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065211899679021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,logansslogans,2019/03/27,Need Advice Hello! I am in a really rough patch right now and I feel as I'm getting some major karma. everything is falling apart for me. any advice?,-0.5609999999999964,1.2131588999999998,2.486666666666668,86.14000000000004,110.0,4.666666666666667,15.0,6.42735559955562,0.2589999999999999,117,3,21,2,6,41,27,30,0.07,0.93,0.0,-0.2244,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,6,2,5,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.722956380786442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515559521918726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33245716024532884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18704093225294213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932661397836597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27428844903629496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369780266317811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159067291031721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mbilaalch,2019/03/27,"Cannot get over grief of my niece's death My niece passed away 6 years ago abruptly due to celebral malaria (the cause was a hypothesis and till date we are not sure what happened).

She was 1.75 years old and as babies are of that age, an angel with sweet habits. 

She was the first child in our family after me and my brother. (We are a small family of 4: Me, my brother (now married), mom and dad.) I am about to be married in November. 

After she passed away, I do not have the courage to have a kid of my own. If I see a child in pain or sick or crying, I have a mental breakdown... I cannot function around kids anymore if they are like that.

Similarly,  the idea of having my own child freaks me out. I have told my future wife to be that I don't want any kids and she seems fine with it but I feel like I am robbing her off one of the most precious experiences of life. But I just cannot stand it if a child is unwell... the ordeal we faced 6 years ago still keeps me awake at night mostly.

None of my family know about it. I haven't had the courage to tell my wife to be about this condition as well.

I am not sure if this is PTSD or something else but I need assistance in overcoming this.

I am 30 male. My niece passed away when I was 24. 

In the end, I wish no parent has to go through the loss of their child.... I can only imagine what my brother and her wife go through everyday...

Thanks in advance for your time and consideration.",1.7034307692307706,3.3120157533333336,3.0700000000000003,93.60346153846157,78.13333333333333,6.348717948717949,21.538461538461537,7.1686216300943375,0.377530769230769,1106,30,258,13,26,360,154,300,0.087,0.8270000000000001,0.086,0.5737,1,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,4,1,2,3,9,15,0,0,16,0,31,4,1,1,2,43,45,21,2,7,14,9,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,9,11,14,0,1,6,0,0,6,10,4,1,2,6,3,45,11,43,36,5,44,1,2,1,0,33,15,0,10,24,179,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23141212728988564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08876418131165277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944967234664376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161984644875256,0.0,0.0,0.3679088157507916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408921663377446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143379953555725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904021230398653,0.0,0.11560993177028325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768238737965354,0.3691533120381177,0.0,0.06599937341390058,0.09324992821864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102788230908092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681960038062429,0.0,0.14836525288270594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542634448187565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735132852237334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602015340733005,0.0,0.0,0.07173531287691415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219647761352658,0.12753973110300648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315425094397616,0.0,0.0,0.15287396187241095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678558352449247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224926039118655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369682054473555,0.0,0.08844981385071776,0.09927316990097414,0.13889203594831462,0.0,0.14493698340149674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258139062782242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401469610614686,0.11882867956996634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048758460755876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042406107264696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460440347075491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140880803809854,0.12017354614913625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611249696577721,0.0,0.0,0.12472603251589195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698937332374127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173612274423958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010188330819474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25216914750232844
mentalhealth,lalaland50lalaland50,2019/03/27,"Someone must have asked this before, but what could the following symptom suggest? Thanks for reading this in advance !

Let be begin with some context: I've recently started a job in a great company, which I am super excited about, but I'm not sure about my line manager, who has been displaying the following traits:

​

1. Structure (or No structure) The first few weeks were super relaxed. but too relaxed. There was no structure to ramp me up, but rather pulling frantically into whatever meeting, without providing context before or after.
2. Feedback created kneejerks, so when I suggested for some structure, he created a set of meetings where he expected me to ask and lead the agenda, but contributed nothing if I didn't, regardless of the fact that sometimes it's hard to know where to start.
3. Throughout the first few weeks I thought and planed my next few months in the role, along with his feedback, which was positive. I was keen to start more than just planning but told that no one was expecting that immediately
4. We then spent a week on a business trip and that's where I started noticing more:
5. He worked 20 hours a day: He woke up at about 4:00 am and went to sleep the following day at 7:00 pm, back to back in meetings in two different countries on two parts of the world. The agenda was something he set up, rather than forced.
6. He expected me and another colleague to follow that agenda, without being open about it or acknowledging - one good example was texting us to go down for breakfast at 4:00 am. We normally start working at around 9:00..
7. My colleague had prepared some material - presentations, etc to go through meetings during the business trip. The manager gave her negative feedback at the end of each meeting expecting her to make immediate changes to the material and her vocabulary/attitude despite the fact he had access to the material weeks in advance. English is not her first language
8. Also she agreed that his schedule was not normal and the way he gave her the feedback came across in the wrong way.
9. When we came back, without warning, he provided me with negative feedback, too. The feedback came across a bit manic, saying 'he cannot afford to have someone who doesn't deliver' and that 'the skillset I displayed is not what he was looking for' - referring to delivering despite the fact that it was still my first few weeks in the job, and the fact he himself said I am not expected to deliver anything.
10. In additional meetings, he just seems up and down. Our latest meeting was on Monday. Despite his words I came in in positive good spirit to go through what I had done in the past week, what went well, what did not, I asked how he was, and it was obviously not good - gravity was doing its thing to his face. (this is not an insult, his face looked down) 
11. This was his first meeting of the week, and it felt like he was shooting at me whatever negativity he had from the weekend. He spoke too fast and it felt like he was talking at me, rather than going through items, constructively.
12. At the end of the meeting it felt like I am not good enough rather than a constructive meeting where we go through what's accomplished, what could have been done better and why, etc.
13. Throughout the time I've been there from day first it feels like 'if you're not good enough we'll fire you"", and I don't think this is a good place to be. I'd rather be supported in what I do and feel excited about it.
14. His schedule is manic, too. He comes early, goes into back to back meetings until the afternoon, goes home, and then works every evening.
15. There have been other events were other colleagues have felt the same - like he's attacking too soon.

​

I don't want to judge, but what I think would have helped me is handling him better (and not feel horrible all day long) if I knew if the above are related to a condition.

​",5.774529331514323,6.991849673942706,5.823170804911324,79.42440422919509,67.26739427012278,9.083645293315145,34.03244201909959,9.334730878484477,3.1212679618008186,3093,142,566,59,50,975,307,733,0.057,0.787,0.156,0.9979,4,0,1,1,0,0,115.0,7,1,0,18,39,29,2,1,44,0,65,5,3,3,8,115,117,40,0,22,35,0,9,5,0,3,1,3,1,0,39,37,1,0,15,4,1,22,25,4,1,10,49,14,51,25,92,58,19,124,1,0,2,0,71,43,0,11,60,402,90,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04448773351657952,0.0,0.1808270443495276,0.20279163462523173,0.0,0.058333485837668925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577920548100381,0.04952298695653915,0.15602117378410948,0.0632877856672424,0.0,0.21388230877237047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467500724966206,0.0,0.0,0.09840140756239132,0.06073415620956558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25450613211535444,0.0,0.0,0.05884974923023184,0.04792079595436508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883294050367517,0.0,0.0,0.14350841916652496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058122088023446386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385874144465095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854431671462853,0.11496246545155055,0.1240855447985053,0.036743455907137984,0.0,0.046871140630246534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438543804683171,0.0397424785192896,0.2136562214937097,0.0,0.0,0.2839159222105758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808062773718204,0.27996161329531577,0.0,0.06133288160120641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498340489608685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03728798735371598,0.0,0.05580198097524579,0.0,0.05478488925294057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040948078087977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030573097326153188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05688601001527429,0.0,0.13589139210468584,0.0,0.0,0.04923128923548364,0.0934313080150856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03713382642404781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04440377703869115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916372473737674,0.0,0.10901226184462336,0.05337901642525135,0.06333575385008852,0.0,0.0,0.07539340553175135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024246825744267,0.05310565802187681,0.0,0.0,0.058122088023446386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055645607894566566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492846023829793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052917395624937344,0.044239648971620166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064396654775046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567072919714658,0.0,0.09427117486573608,0.04282711792932944,0.05502003985805996,0.0,0.1968779603986017,0.0,0.04442663186743595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312889283351421,0.05243113829126509,0.057821445620820415,0.0,0.044713731636686516,0.0,0.051217139440802466,0.0,0.0,0.03695846781281257,0.07129162480918813,0.0,0.044164445467404036,0.032438623101344544,0.0,0.0,0.05315737784201532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868593462239333,0.0,0.06691670622312476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03281234177851875,0.0883138879214185,0.31236432091045513,0.0,0.050018548536475235,0.10314016082319817,0.050197921733679145,0.0,0.0,0.1608776051119266,0.0,0.12149911646327155,0.0,0.0,0.03951834907131836,0.060823277196219674,0.20279163462523173,0.0
mentalhealth,qmenebrvtc,2019/03/27,"Appreciation Post I’ve had mental health issues for as long as I can remember, and recently it has gone extremely bad. And honestly I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for my boyfriend, whom I have only been with for nearly 6 months but has done more than anyone else. 

When I can’t find the motivation to shower and wash my hair he helps me by washing me himself. He lies down with me whilst I cry and vent and worry about situations that never happen, he listens and acknowledges my feelings regardless of if they’re real in reality because they’re real to me. 

If I’m too anxious to leave my room, he stocks me up with food that I can eat in my room so I don’t starve, and does as much as he can do so I don’t have to do things- he bought me a kettle just so I could have pot noodles and such. 

He never judges when I don’t shave my legs (he doesn’t mind anyway as he’s said it’s my choice what I do with my hair :) ) or if my room is messy, even helping me tidy up and take the rubbish down. 

And one time, when it got really bad and I’d self harmed, he came round as soon as he’d heard what I’d done and personally cleaned my wounds as I cried on his shoulder. 

With his support I am so much better and determined to beat my mental illnesses! ",3.675589345172032,3.9123700150943392,5.050166481687018,86.61973362930081,71.49056603773585,8.34850166481687,25.776914539400664,8.313332769828598,1.3233529411764708,974,27,223,14,17,327,145,265,0.15,0.75,0.1,-0.9455,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,15,6,0,0,3,0,27,11,4,1,2,40,39,34,0,7,7,0,4,0,0,1,5,3,5,2,10,19,2,1,5,0,1,2,9,3,0,1,11,7,35,3,33,24,3,26,0,0,1,0,22,11,0,5,12,146,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681575077164388,0.0,0.09086978020386452,0.1331575117939172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170193016645408,0.07922129948871376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493744809378995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486375351440599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103761030874341,0.0,0.2855059138049673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137272779263778,0.2659846745895632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297966087375535,0.1085633824090964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583615134642089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571075994165211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877942091299168,0.0,0.1571459455016894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393942738754357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492158820394945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381394668072542,0.0,0.0,0.1742164555226399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564257433612184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376069467313234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500889857710588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619345552180093,0.0,0.13122071354385606,0.0,0.1037313783406364,0.0,0.19106842900351767,0.0,0.20046351811498084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806302521054242,0.09883905101795762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347446889356495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244640114067474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29584171758401695,0.0832545370250231,0.0,0.1283180231646221,0.0,0.14721728259965208,0.0,0.12361998803814625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557472317788935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14607843785873864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474750010800382,0.0,0.0,0.09771237686456176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863384392782749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577965907816528,0.0,0.12318515776769147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197883875897434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Echeveria1987,2019/03/27,"Depression does NOT mean feeling sad. Depression is a medical term for functioning below necessary levels Depression, and it’s synonym suppression are commonly used in medical treatment and diagnosis to indicate something is wrong and the affected system can’t adequately contribute to the rest of the body. So basically you can’t think and act in a way that keeps up with your obligations. So it’s not just feeling sadness. It’s not laziness, and it’s not for the sake of gaining attention. If some was experiencing respiratory depression. Would you say” ok but have you tried breathing more?” No? Then cynics and doubters can fuck off.  Ok. I’m done.

P.s. treatment helps depression. It really does.",4.311024590163935,7.6939409836065575,5.4706352459016365,69.42185450819673,81.78688524590164,10.263114754098359,33.85450819672131,9.827888789773867,4.986129508196722,568,32,86,22,16,187,84,122,0.237,0.669,0.094,-0.9592,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,4,0,1,3,12,2,0,6,2,10,5,2,2,0,25,18,11,0,2,7,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,7,0,2,5,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,2,4,4,2,12,15,4,12,0,7,0,1,6,6,1,2,3,58,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18058206698788934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7001198732342953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845376344756068,0.1663687276580032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440369042769065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029621325432754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896932346614978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14450244295906095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770897681613715,0.0,0.32755059368335104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041484921488984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928465602306044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251567166254942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417027943297698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103764647699312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041096241297651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290429613185238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154872673054466,0.17774816602982044,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway283283d,2019/03/27,"Brother diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychotic episodes Hi Everyone, not sure if this is the right sub but i need help. My brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychotic episodes about 4 years ago. Doctors believe it happened by him abusing marijuana which triggered a pre-existing condition. at this point he is in complete denial when he snaps out of his psychosis and says he has always been this way. for the past four years every 3 or 4 months he goes into psychosis and i have to call the police to get him admitted for treatment. i am slowly giving up on him and thinking of moving out but i don't want something to happen to him because of that. any advice or suggestion would help a lot, thank you !",5.116363636363637,7.267734925925929,5.454141414141414,77.81818181818183,70.1111111111111,8.464646464646465,34.49494949494949,9.095868883498916,3.429666666666668,585,30,97,12,11,186,96,135,0.086,0.805,0.108,0.6283,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,9,5,0,1,1,24,18,9,0,4,6,2,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,6,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,1,11,2,22,15,1,17,0,0,0,0,20,9,0,4,6,65,17,1,0.0,0.19137095521143435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783231351840538,0.1431748668858387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439488739081776,0.0,0.0,0.10983693890516172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984591208527342,0.0,0.0,0.18197408428665302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492667581094786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934725520886074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32787223332459275,0.0,0.0,0.370224411892405,0.16531925311807913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360848407469094,0.15433619068971002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438584339941574,0.15494159863873114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856574838985773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165225660213049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373157777829457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892114093276705,0.17166676006534148,0.0,0.1197626347406478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418602827863218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268554983955984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793443487184415,0.0,0.12844461440558794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434349675930323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222763962227184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870293683051755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349342130673632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526677280350623,0.12820449013962293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473687577555433,0.0,0.0,0.2080230023619816
mentalhealth,northernlaner,2019/03/27,I just want to look in the mirror and not hate my appearance I skipped class today to work out because I can't stand the way I look anymore. I hate the way my face and body look I hate my hair I just can't look at myself without disgust. ,1.9173076923076915,2.95502611538462,3.3223076923076924,94.39769230769234,76.30769230769229,5.9692307692307685,24.538461538461537,5.985473137389443,0.4003307692307692,186,6,44,1,4,61,31,52,0.0,0.7390000000000001,0.261,0.9089,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,4,0,3,0,2,3,3,0,0,9,11,2,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,0,5,11,0,6,11,0,8,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,1,1,27,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878552109898312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546957722918233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21040456439198574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5610434920236884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6362653511596459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954941638355604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172569777525036,0.3007079110008941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18259554904539327,0.0,0.13790109483359386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tazeka,2019/03/27,"A Science Question Anyone know a lot about the physical structure of the brain or can link me to a good info source?

I'm getting an MRI tomorrow because I've suffered from chronic migraines since I was 10 and army last neurology appointment, the doctor was like ""How have we been treating you for headaches this long and never looked at your brain??""

I also suffer depression and anxiety and I'm curious what the physical differences are in the brains of people with diagnosed mental illness. I'm going to ask for copies of the results because- like I said- curious. But it'd be nice to have a vague idea of what I'm looking for. I don't expect to be able to read them like someone who went to medical school. It'd just be kinda neat to be able to point and go ""See that? That's why I feel like shit sometimes.""",3.769908653846152,5.5718769812500035,4.771250000000002,82.77644230769229,72.9375,7.923076923076922,29.80769230769231,8.617729084823388,2.4104711538461534,647,28,122,12,13,211,108,160,0.117,0.742,0.141,0.4883,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,2,1,0,4,12,1,0,11,0,14,12,4,2,1,22,29,9,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,0,8,1,0,0,8,7,0,0,6,1,0,3,2,4,0,0,5,5,10,8,20,18,1,10,0,3,3,0,8,3,1,4,8,73,18,3,0.2813038059769421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124792760037474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759832080499236,0.0,0.0,0.09834708088917464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149054268297228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714801891560142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710421203367998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114327794471776,0.1427587208339995,0.0,0.14695130239140966,0.0,0.14396318264013808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711178282677959,0.1004817475985428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348481411826338,0.0,0.15987143558544886,0.11797214304239124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158778878265511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729860751742369,0.11465007349502496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27486166079249824,0.0,0.0,0.12447250808752905,0.2362243488467099,0.0,0.0,0.1195772181611494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416919949302039,0.1417440365317402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084794184994854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975103198060259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296151103684506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575623210472712,0.0,0.14068996539094725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337921687037307,0.0,0.0,0.14234723487105505,0.11208135641854346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437715719550864,0.11634870760872418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917390096945453,0.0,0.1391083285154448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038572320142966,0.12691646544305954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ben_Arsen,2019/03/27,"How to make it until I can get help? Om struggling to find a therapist that works with my schedule and is covered by my insurance AND that I can get home from (I commute in and out of a city and my busses stop past a certain hour). I'm sure I'll find one eventually but I'm floundering.

I've got a lot going on. I have an anxiety disorder that's gone untreated because I had a bad experience with a therapist in high school, I'm transgender and while that's not the problem the dysphoria is crushing me, and the last year has been hell. My spouse tried to kill herself in December and while recovering decided that she doesn't really think she wants to be with me anymore. There's a tiny slim chance she'll give me another shot but I doubt it.
It's been an emotional rollercoaster, fearing her death, happiness that she was getting better then anger and sadness that I'm no longer important enough to her for her to want to work things out. 
My job sucks, my days off are irregular and most of my coworkers openly dislike me. My boss tries to make me feel better by reminding me that I need the money.


Honestly I've lost my entire life and I'm struggling to not feel suicidal myself. I don't want to be and I certainly don't want her to find out and think that it's her fault. 
I'm just afraid that by the time I find a therapist I can afford I will have lost what little willpower I have left and I'll be gone. What can I do until then to keep myself from self harming/suicidal behavior? 

Tl;dr? borderline suicidal, lost my support, looking for help but due to bad life circumstances it's taking a long time. How to cope until then?",4.290167834016123,5.3106224650455935,5.447054314787895,81.48751552795035,70.55015197568389,9.612316638033569,29.50191621514471,9.867487886160001,2.755866287828729,1297,50,263,32,23,431,164,329,0.218,0.637,0.14400000000000002,-0.9886,3,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,7,4,25,4,5,16,0,24,2,0,5,3,54,57,26,4,6,6,1,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,18,20,0,2,9,0,1,3,6,17,0,1,10,3,42,8,37,42,3,34,1,4,1,0,15,12,2,3,19,168,60,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907516550895087,0.07228033208911926,0.0,0.09370316811064328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577811086950827,0.057596832953208166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712760433497242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06093464232712624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828734515546118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628226907306458,0.0,0.09762767583978636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242390492395984,0.0,0.1063212545657714,0.09554833581407964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34542823754508234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480926485163744,0.09063807697050144,0.05369768026688538,0.0,0.0755678318221141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058043510710916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266618466397038,0.09982799027318577,0.0947755893799117,0.0,0.0930481333693864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376121986403928,0.08398210471972305,0.10453302529926477,0.0,0.0,0.07701742298823899,0.0,0.0,0.10265761214440032,0.0,0.13347429753078752,0.0,0.09469822310888963,0.0,0.08361574932789048,0.07934312661403506,0.0,0.30942275745683706,0.08032728554049998,0.0,0.0,0.12613818447885194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005900933759576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402509659827499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019608176032574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040884130339316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060529146739256474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956232897639266,0.0,0.0,0.09856786917092658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899321613002587,0.0,0.19755128680523348,0.0,0.3100519004549185,0.10721981407526976,0.08905045925911985,0.0,0.07104053435188687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291111248385511,0.06277125844495844,0.1210836181987817,0.0,0.0,0.11018926458781356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282974548122674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229174646952947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137571584027376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084487660309613
mentalhealth,TestedCarbs,2019/03/27,Anyone ever feels like being the smartest person in the world? I actually believe I am the smartest person in the world. I'm guilty of this and some other things. I just simultaneously know that it's not true but my thought still persist to be ambivalent. I'm not sure if I have depression but I seem to have most of the commonly known symptoms and I think this superiority complex is really one of the sources of my problematic mental health. Honestly if you would call me an asshole it might even help me.,3.7700229095074462,6.185728865979384,5.036013745704466,78.15328751431845,74.77319587628867,8.02245131729668,28.30355097365407,8.841846274778883,2.433436197021765,408,17,76,9,9,135,67,97,0.135,0.687,0.17800000000000002,0.5812,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,4,6,0,0,7,0,8,2,0,0,3,23,15,6,0,3,7,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,11,5,8,10,2,7,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,6,4,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.2175693999272636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15589351545042932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511910284540623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276593476420658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19202859201557945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472579702086654,0.20167322749000005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273144214987042,0.15927725286926947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23698799595109954,0.0,0.0,0.1494403069964874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252881891729415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892329029005912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22468359964814508,0.2365172839590575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151078329346365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3893469056489676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428290288026559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029675089894988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805009002256938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21013001662158906,0.2317329305706008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811968057364452,0.14285890783941374,0.0,0.1769993168676818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15837900182680772,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,epsilongaea,2019/03/27,A very very weird story of my mental health. I was always a odd child. I grew up a only child with parents in God awful marriage thanks to my mother's drinking problem. So a lot of yelling during which I would go in my room and play on my lap top most of the time. Now the weird part ... When I was 10 I was at a family friends cook out during the summer. My cousin had told me I need to eat more fruit giving me a blueberry. Ate it nothing happened; are another one and a sort of shock stared from were the blueberry was between my teeth as I bit to my head and body. It sort of feels  foggy. It has been 9 years and I can truly say it has destroyed my life. No doctor could tell me what the felling was so the just treated the anxiety and lack of emotion to the point were I question doing anything at all because everything feeling the same. My mind in the fear and needing to know why a blueberry of all thing could could stop me from enjoying anything created a twisted shell of living in fear. I believe that my 4th grade teacher is a witch and has put some kind of curse on me stelling my happiness. A year I was watching a pirated Lord of the rings when I noticed that swallowing felt funny and  would be like the foggy head  and be there constantly there to this day. This believe developed in to ocd were I have to think of something for it to be ok for me to touch somthing. Becouse I'm afraid of some other feeling being taken away. If you think you know whats wrong pls help.,2.506329017517136,4.267701396039605,3.5979042904290464,90.02416793602438,76.29372937293729,6.509723280020308,25.845265295760345,7.321109707123232,1.174942218837268,1165,43,244,14,26,376,175,303,0.131,0.742,0.127,-0.5188,1,0,2,0,1,0,20.0,0,2,0,1,8,19,1,3,24,2,28,13,4,0,2,42,46,15,0,10,2,3,5,1,1,2,3,3,1,2,14,11,6,1,9,3,0,4,1,10,0,1,15,11,32,9,41,22,11,29,1,0,2,0,15,15,0,8,11,169,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373504331734347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812488346166122,0.08617806249161418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540511456694095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058397597586636,0.0,0.0,0.06867128755635353,0.0,0.0,0.2538392494595555,0.0,0.0,0.12298622345939945,0.12513038231579976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173621365035275,0.0,0.2698290851438506,0.0,0.0,0.07265087559222404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11530354802226475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035554897667872,0.0,0.1152705723075017,0.0,0.12671773581001428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124387305958443,0.0,0.10619777561050546,0.2535284345085391,0.17087989671802484,0.0,0.10816307264337097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703424252325727,0.0,0.0,0.10806555027518253,0.06402242369319408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961731858627948,0.11991957938719836,0.0,0.0,0.2312258063645977,0.11974323962400735,0.0,0.0,0.07550790249248737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730916566898485,0.12382059830142288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956906132812337,0.05503581562219355,0.0,0.09947330758929003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577224720766073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352618095392418,0.0,0.1137458664686988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670592679998152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809211902881352,0.12825443971097236,0.0,0.0,0.07633554822181514,0.0856765155085373,0.0,0.0,0.12508612063607633,0.12199055894167032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649204672886524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779223822646357,0.0,0.11324583700932725,0.1261954224559376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895849665781993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672460151753934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418166905588582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846234584682917,0.10371433389940904,0.0,0.0,0.07484062782496835,0.144365020390051,0.0,0.0,0.06568797524232095,0.0,0.0,0.10764330251391807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589851311295894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165042547447728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16004873741429307,0.12316669280751626,0.0,0.14508770025381498
mentalhealth,throwawaydepressed17,2019/03/27,I binge while I’m on vyvanse Currently I’m on 2 pills roughly 40 mg every morning and I ate 2 medium pizzas and a box of brownies last night. I feel so hot the next day which is right now and I can’t breathe. Should I increase the dose? ,-0.3399358974358968,1.703979750000002,1.85923076923077,97.16910256410259,88.03846153846153,4.235897435897436,22.128205128205128,5.46131890053228,-0.0118948717948717,185,7,43,1,6,62,40,52,0.0,0.946,0.054000000000000006,0.3182,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,3,5,1,0,0,5,7,5,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,3,5,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,7,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29476501586138465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850916229600152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23110258504978706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37256380019194746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4860870564087266,0.4289185783019807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.390325587297844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,i_have_a_cold_soul,2019/03/27,"What is wrong with me? Im really mental. Im sorry in advance i dont wanna waste anyones time or anything i just need to rant. Im ftm trans and came out but ended up just sorta slipping back into the closet again cuz of support issues and stuff.
Im sad all the time, and im scared of planes and helicopters cause im scared they are gonna drop bombs/crash etc, totally stupid but there you go. Im scared of looking in the mirror because of the man in there, who's always watching me. There is a voice in my head that is sometimes outside my head telling me I'm stupid fat ugly and that i should die cause everyone hates me. I have great friends and they like me but that voice is just hzfhbsrydgidod
Im always arguing w it
At night its worse. I cant distinguish whats real and whats fake and it makes me scared. I always need to cry but i cant actually do it
Ik i should go to the doctors about it but im too paranoid that ill be sent for tests on my brain and ill end up having a brain tumour or cancer or somethibg bad like that. I dont trust them. 

Also, everytime i talk about anything and it feels better i get horrendous self doubt that i felt it at all and that im making a mountain out of a molehill when so many people have it worse.

Idek if anyone gets any of that and i completely understand if u think im mental and insane and stupid cuz i do, but if anyone has any help at all, id be glad to hear it :/",0.3016383507203173,2.358194911475412,2.4066766020864385,94.26967709885744,85.13114754098359,5.270740188772977,18.75062096373572,6.574015621080383,-0.03691256830601075,1108,29,252,12,33,372,158,305,0.31,0.602,0.08800000000000001,-0.9981,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,3,2,14,22,5,5,9,0,19,9,5,6,4,57,39,31,1,8,15,0,2,2,1,3,5,3,1,2,22,19,1,0,5,0,0,5,4,14,0,0,3,7,27,8,28,31,5,27,0,1,2,0,14,13,0,8,10,150,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.062360949060555386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511038937076112,0.1595193921091349,0.0,0.0,0.08691363223428036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404919413012875,0.0,0.10517486354067627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04913812374536127,0.053357053785371665,0.03895519988632418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05651777102640775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267568394079175,0.0,0.07308899159085731,0.0,0.1312937345771552,0.0,0.0,0.06700198132714008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019538945195307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632211750122982,0.0,0.0,0.0654083084888093,0.0,0.0,0.14978969584129873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319970447576864,0.0,0.0712696960575729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06106287671412355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032311711682714815,0.0,0.061357727007576426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0493719636706392,0.0,0.0667742585700531,0.0,0.07263607253988544,0.0,0.0,0.07045423118625402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630918316355182,0.1311675931286076,0.0,0.07202429454545754,0.0,0.04283341028341879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7592984816399725,0.06669902703517246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062440396117811686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053663147752701285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531264546548327,0.06478848387353507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288001209460928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476780484791847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996944358916555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044302890237276266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273658294913916,0.0409384490305564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559156476808874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666656628332656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320255149988614,0.07153513931874843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315463076879658,0.0,0.07251734296692786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05136350198600918,0.055854790265756966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04094701312592025,0.0,0.0,0.07452570926655873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652617189005564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024698548032454,0.0,0.06986883905033711,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rhona00,2019/03/27,"depression and body image I've suffered with mental health problems since I can remember, and I've always had issues around eating since hitting puberty. I've went up and down in weight a lot of the years, and after switching to a plant based diet for many reasons (environmental, for the animals, for my health) I have lost quite a bit of weight, which I am happy with. Or am I? I find if i overindulge in food now I feel guilty. Sometimes I make myself throw up. Last year I went through a long period of starving myself and throwing up. I cannot stop comparing myself to other people and I feel hopeless knowing I've never really been happy with the way I look. Has anyone got any advice on this subject? ",4.7069343065693445,6.116886591240879,5.515043795620439,79.92366058394163,69.94890510948905,7.8157664233576645,27.56861313868613,8.238735603445708,1.9335962043795616,561,19,101,8,10,183,89,137,0.152,0.78,0.068,-0.8903,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,7,0,8,8,1,2,1,23,18,8,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,10,5,1,6,0,0,4,2,5,0,0,6,5,16,2,21,11,2,23,0,4,1,0,0,9,0,3,9,66,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749513439395067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117077692721684,0.0,0.0,0.09568411144416418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838409081461044,0.0,0.0,0.12525713256598872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15361323545167385,0.15629134987774002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211888665238931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397617120398015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228918258837445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286016683191408,0.0,0.1701408426288734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253450861631777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29956582234192536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991253157420705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685928943454205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732769649164281,0.11469321855467385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451934952096536,0.11815662233913388,0.0,0.15359594651808495,0.11962221740147205,0.0,0.0,0.09392156864773286,0.14265261620969674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179737757832314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852024142126084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754701484193964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463552262023026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965690964242218,0.0,0.0,0.09013911900108099,0.1446680027259728,0.0,0.0,0.1593911470707879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23278498379506585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916067769367466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763554077005613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168494719935644,0.0,0.3426811610894827,0.0,0.2608695797861777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18121859858221226
mentalhealth,AFCA_Scooby,2019/03/27,"I have a problem, my mood has alot of swings and im more down then happy because of.. so basicly i've been depressed for years. Took me like 4 / 5 years to recover.

then i had all focus on getting my drivers license, in the meanwhile i was playing video games, watching football(soccer) and maby go out once a month with friends, but still felt quite happy!
now after 1.5 years i reached my goal! I was very happy, 
one week later i met a girl and we like eachother and only met twice now and planning to meet for a third time again.
 
when i was busy with drivers license i had a lesson every week and i felt i was actually progressing on life, it was a progress and i finished it! Now im taking a new step in my life, cause every healthy person has a job and that is my next step, get a job i really like! (And by job i don't mean working in a factory or any other relates kind of work)

I want to become a firefighter and i really feel motivated and i know that it fits me, so i got that positive going for me, but.. the selection is in september, wich is 6 months from now...
and i have NO MORE patience, all my friends have a job or degree and are busy in life, i also no longer want to wait but progress, i really feel down and bit empty, even after going to the gym or running (training for firefighter)

i just don't want to spend playing video games all day ive done that for 5 years everyday, now i have my drivers license i feel progress, i want to be busy with a real job and go out every weekend and meet this girl more, since i met her i see how busy people are daily and in the weekends and im just getting into it again after years.. i come to the conclusion that i can't stand doing nothing everyday, or playing video games or not going out. I want to live aswell and have daily business/avtivity (not working out) and go out every weekend and feel good.. 

im bit stuck with myself im just thinking, HOW DO I SURVIVE THESE 6 MONTHS WAITING, and what if i don't make it...

i hope some people could help me how to cope...i want to stay positive like i used to be. 


",2.1329257528556624,3.7050356518691636,3.8793769470405017,88.4247871235722,76.82710280373831,6.5312564901349965,25.206645898234683,7.279313950308263,1.0861867082035308,1601,57,342,19,36,538,187,428,0.043,0.767,0.19,0.996,5,0,0,0,2,0,58.0,1,0,0,14,19,18,0,0,19,0,31,3,0,7,3,83,69,40,0,10,14,0,6,4,2,0,3,0,0,3,14,34,0,2,12,13,1,11,8,2,0,3,17,8,48,15,45,49,10,65,0,1,2,0,16,17,0,9,39,222,62,10,0.0,0.0,0.07157492642796785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586546145850524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987766323693495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471092258623178,0.08100468027553817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014924758047458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534634682746545,0.0,0.06318091741546493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058560657914368035,0.0,0.0,0.04730197714379904,0.0,0.0631726352610997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505822469115306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0484442131436717,0.0,0.24718801984410696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834337329961256,0.0,0.1408469518990193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333357559708795,0.0,0.11496046924637088,0.0,0.250104670938079,0.06151898223183438,0.05866134135105655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23423392314384084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491621477203246,0.0,0.0,0.07284893487320628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961302835928439,0.0,0.3639219752184493,0.0,0.0,0.07637837022608948,0.04030893683690378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15541893568173096,0.14333222395078601,0.0,0.06476569048412546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04895889506618816,0.0,0.0,0.0798950848291891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563176784592086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083783651280089,0.07800409680555409,0.0,0.0,0.07037727903547789,0.0,0.0,0.07811088967642091,0.04970101637197807,0.05578279057629059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169749360934896,0.06404272874792656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018203080559779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801229302924567,0.0,0.08348358470540652,0.14096160441329356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058447111294355515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067240868470122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817687026058666,0.0585740554421666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055146918138227814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046997030931759116,0.0,0.0,0.04276852932887802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148988924426352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334722705554847,0.0,0.06051797137099184,0.25956754033353197,0.0,0.11766716289684878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018986100790492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361614717409846
mentalhealth,ggatica,2019/03/27,"Stress keeps me going... Just some backstory I’m a very high strung anxious individual. Work has been especially hectic and my supervisor is borderline hysterical. While all this is going on, I know I appear calm and annoyed on the outside but I picture my insides bouncing around everywhere like a bunch of atoms just going at light speed. I don’t know how all this stress stays contained. I often think that if I didn’t have all this inner stress, I’d deflate.. I don’t know who I am without this to keep me going.  Does anyone else get like this?... ",3.377714285714287,5.796741104761907,4.463095238095238,81.76607142857145,76.04761904761905,6.866666666666667,25.73809523809524,7.908726449838941,1.6555523809523804,436,16,80,7,10,142,72,105,0.145,0.777,0.078,-0.7168,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,3,3,0,9,0,0,1,3,22,22,6,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,3,4,0,0,5,4,4,0,0,2,1,12,3,7,20,5,14,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,4,4,52,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19386549337451453,0.0,0.1199906323365569,0.17583022655792838,0.0,0.15276537514157676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501732254847148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335446695962095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965684831175638,0.0,0.3901096905981003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18131074845759595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050619014187884,0.0,0.0,0.28292986566229456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767566553771687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829087470951466,0.0,0.0,0.5897209383748712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995794556965936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159260000190496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542168399744014,0.0,0.12493092767991165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spotthesad,2019/03/27,"Help! I don't know how to handle my best friend who is recently diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety I feel bad that I'm not always there for my bestfriend who recently got diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety because I can't handle her emotions well. I am overwhelmed by her sudden changes and I'm afraid to tell her my real feelings and opinions because she might cut herself again if it is not what she wants to hear.

She is getting toxic for me and I feel like she is emotionally manipulating me into doing everything to her bidding. I feel really bad that I'm ignoring her at times to prioritize my mental health.

I need your advice. Thank you so much! 


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mentalhealth,jennasiteman,2019/03/27,"Vice Media Request for Interview Hi, my name is Jenna and I'm reporting a story for VICE news on mental health in ROTC. If you think you, or a friend, may be interested in being interviewed for this piece, please fill out the form linked below! Thank you so much! [https://forms.gle/QdPNK4HxDwUUZjV5A](https://forms.gle/QdPNK4HxDwUUZjV5A) ",8.17429487179487,12.332941173076925,5.943846153846152,67.8844871794872,69.96153846153845,7.3128205128205135,20.2051282051282,8.344100000000001,1.415797435897436,279,6,40,5,6,80,45,52,0.0,0.8,0.2,0.8829,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,9,7,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,8,4,3,6,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,3,0,27,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32231027610257496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4434401392568839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204167654857504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066734392537287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579355826554148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840809619958547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26731047592582524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tbutler02,2019/03/27,"help? so, first things first, im 16, actually turning 17 April 6th (only a week!). ive been struggling with depression and anxiety since i was young. i never had a dad, my mom never brought guys home unless she knew he was staying for good but we lived in the projects. ive seen shit no kid should ever see but my mom did her best and keeping me away from it. i havent touched a single needle, blunt, etc. my moms great and she loves me with all of her heart and its just.  its tough for me to talk to my mom about my mental health. i think theres more mental health concerns rising...i hear voices and i have since i was young and im starting to get more and more sucidal thoughts. my moms known about my suicidal thoughts because im so open with her but i just hate seeing her worry about me. i have a helluva lot of friends but i hate seeing them worry too. they’re really supportive too but they don’t understand. ive been going to a psychologist but they’ve been just putting me on more and more meds when they make me worse. ",0.6946698113207574,3.0369226745283022,2.02191698113208,95.67025283018869,86.40566037735849,5.278792452830189,19.329056603773587,6.742157984588678,0.10172392452830216,805,23,179,10,25,257,122,212,0.183,0.701,0.116,-0.9418,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,3,3,13,12,3,1,6,0,16,5,2,1,4,37,37,18,1,1,10,6,1,0,1,1,2,2,1,2,4,13,0,1,6,0,0,3,5,6,0,2,13,7,35,6,19,23,10,19,0,1,4,1,24,4,1,1,11,116,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.09259674651422777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258886137713358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915015523885039,0.0,0.0,0.057842685584889815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957882901658076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172667141746576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582491253590236,0.0,0.08583139325126046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142292633292105,0.0,0.0,0.0733100325410462,0.0,0.04957492780043045,0.0,0.05392688932807697,0.07958733438961052,0.0,0.10461406832781553,0.0,0.0939537808244412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18736399715146945,0.0,0.20172246092819196,0.10694537920543336,0.1124424287609226,0.06360125197104118,0.0,0.09518013988856833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307485126038128,0.0,0.0,0.0843405831359978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837876128397128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067016332619384,0.08563989001034601,0.0,0.06333830326214718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539888822486784,0.0,0.19124904816099053,0.0,0.0,0.5556568713265826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636654945577646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216640207164353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953883868647828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078751598034617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22683973085709894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740090153157056,0.15698423813369522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671620307530933,0.10113770561930482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919726818008168,0.0,0.10379178665130906,0.10767748287591784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626717112440252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303919816128276,0.06080023238988575,0.0,0.1506605329854976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321061341427896,0.0,0.09878148373084693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611322148387431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272621185119032,0.09669871354148782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,berry_cherry,2019/03/27,Sorry to post this here but is there a place where people are discussing what's going on with the mods in r/bpd? They're banning people because they disagree with them.  It's crazy over there right now.  Where can we regroup?,3.231136363636363,5.4297462045454585,2.913636363636368,93.76545454545456,75.5909090909091,4.4,22.363636363636363,3.1291,-0.16307272727272748,179,5,35,0,4,53,38,44,0.182,0.818,0.0,-0.7912,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,10,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,1,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129487259409953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4399697331866085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985326625182651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4843637850177621,0.0,0.3649761849883415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33456220518508806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29832647209275504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39104707002894784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BelvoxYBN,2019/03/27,"I don`t know what to do I am 15yo, and i love to kill animals and see whats inside them i love to watch people die videos and everyday i feel more agressive and i want to kill somebody last night i wanted to stab my professor but he didnt get out of his house, i watched movie and documentarys about Jeffrey Dahmer and i am like him, what should i do guys?
    

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mentalhealth,syokjinus,2019/03/27,"Don't you just hate it I'm not self diagnosing but my chest is feeling heavy for some time. My body craves for more sleep and food probably because I'm stressed. I'm jobless (looking for a job) and recently as well, some of my family members are fat-shaming me. I am aware of my figure but I really don't feel good when they do that. Sometimes the other members are so good to me when they know that I have some in my pocket. Well... that's few of the reasons why my chest is extra heavy. Don't you just hate it. When your family members are the ones who should be mindful of their words and actions towards you? They think 'it's not too deep'. It's really depressing and my will to live is slowly dissolving. ",2.6720804597701147,4.296780800000004,3.933534482758621,88.38283045977016,75.48275862068967,7.316091954022987,25.186781609195403,8.07648339933343,1.3847816091954024,556,19,118,9,12,182,84,145,0.095,0.835,0.071,-0.6759999999999999,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,4,4,0,9,8,2,1,4,0,15,6,4,1,0,22,25,11,0,1,6,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,9,4,1,0,6,0,0,1,5,4,2,1,0,3,20,4,12,22,6,9,0,1,1,0,10,3,0,3,5,84,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394171027064313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939889446590571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468605739163219,0.17306472161673347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214845335420728,0.0,0.17243061690731373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20618215609894025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860324885917362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366879340082899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692055109635538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937081945902253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505640287962234,0.0,0.14318600269537254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17216715045965209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554243001649556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18383932106788586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21846697850252547,0.17531334781050706,0.16835869737505327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17787979605896787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063379182466182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863939385593674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531937470723965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925634028839354,0.0,0.0,0.09942613185022184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30661910563880723,0.0,0.15385934135697113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,needingadvice125,2019/03/27,"Caring for alcoholic father Hi all. I'm mid twenties, male, and my dad is in his 60's. He's an alcoholic and in a terrible state of health; he's housebound verging on bedbound - this is a relatively recent state of affairs, as before he was at least able to walk around. However he's fallen over multiple times and been admitted to hospital on over 5 occasions in the last year. This has given him a fear of walking - very understandable, but this fear is turning in to a reality that he will be bedbound from loss of muscle. My parents divorced about 5 years ago, and my sister has completely cut him off - my mum also doesn't keep in contact with him at all. He's been selfish and anti-social in the past, and so doesn't keep in contact with anyone other than me and his mother.

Recently he's expressed an actual desire to improve his state of affairs with regards to his health, and I really want to give him the opportunity for things to get better. To be clear, his health is terrible; he smokes in excess, unfortunately he has cataracts so can hardly see any more (and avoided multiple appointments for surgery to fix it, due to social anxiety). He doesn't eat real food any more and is now stick thin because any food eaten will be thrown up again; he gets his calories from juice and alcohol primarily. He also has lost control of his bowels which is unpleasant and a source of embarrassment for being in public (not that we go out now). He has several other health problems as well I'm not too clear on... I'm wondering how I should proceed with helping him give himself, what I view as, his last realistic shot of improvement and enjoying things. I don't think lying in bed in pain counting down the time is an enjoyable way to spend your final years.

I see a few courses of potential action, and hope others can offer more that I may have overlooked.

  
1. Take him to hospital and see if he can be admitted. He would be cared for better, cleaned (he no longer cleans himself as it's difficult to shower with a fear of standing) and perhaps they would have a physiotherapist that can help with helping teach him how to walk properly. I'm sure his eyesight and dizziness waves are major contributing factors other than the muscular mechanics of walking though. He could possibly see an eye doctor to fix his cataracts. The downsides; dad would have to go through withdrawal again which has a toll on him, and it's very unlikely (almost impossible) that he'll stop drinking if he ever exits hospital. The reason for this is obvious to me; there's literally nothing else for him to do at home other than drink - something needs to fill the void.

2. Set some goals with him that he agrees he would enjoy. If he can read again that would be a significant start; he used to read plenty and it's a good way to pass the time. Getting healthy enough to not be embarrassed when seeing old friends is another goal. Perhaps I could convince my mum to see him once or twice which might give him some motivation to be in a good state - but I don't really want to make this choice as I understand why she doesn't see him, and she could be unnecessarily harsh.

3. Go to a doctor and see what they recommend. I don't think it would be worth it to take him to the doctor, but maybe I could go and talk with the doctor myself with pictures of him if needed. Alternatively maybe a doctor would be able to visit his home.

4. Regularly see him no matter what at a certain time of day, every day - so he has something to look forward to and some sort of order and regularity in his life.

​

I think a lot of his problems are now more psychological as he doesn't interact with anyone any more, other than me and his mum and occasionally his aggressive neighbour (which is a source of stress). Funnily he is in best condition after being admitted to hospital because of the forced social interaction with doctors/nurses. What would really solve all problems would be if I managed to give him some kind of sense of purpose, or something to constantly work at and improve. I know he recognises a lot of what I've pointed out, and wants things to improve for himself, but definitely has gone too far down the hole to get out without a helping hand.  


I'm also feeling pretty low about the whole state of affairs; I could have done more earlier to prevent this (but didn't know it would turn out this way). I can't really talk to anyone in real life about these problems, and have definitely been suffering a massive lack of motivation in all my endeavors because of worrying for my dad.  


Opinions and suggestions very welcome.",7.172425297764157,7.059261237770194,7.555610503587101,72.84352510970261,64.03981797497156,10.770504515799496,35.11738756936221,10.3828142210043,3.613896826170742,3664,151,666,79,49,1203,364,879,0.104,0.733,0.163,0.995,4,1,9,0,1,0,96.0,1,1,2,12,25,41,2,7,38,0,81,25,4,8,10,140,142,58,0,33,16,10,4,0,2,16,15,0,6,1,40,47,9,6,15,4,2,15,16,22,1,1,10,16,68,19,135,97,23,100,0,4,12,0,111,44,0,20,32,453,108,14,0.09697852383135196,0.0,0.047318524969577364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042982805013597566,0.1554608233849894,0.048554991549177584,0.0,0.0,0.11633053570583485,0.0,0.052538095027035284,0.05891976064174428,0.13189744348120516,0.05084521897521696,0.03709415264454586,0.0,0.0,0.10171445808880912,0.0,0.0,0.04316572342546415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886758120082157,0.0,0.04126079048734665,0.0,0.05088648883077497,0.08576962345268431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887606832586636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050840068571772284,0.05239966600496093,0.05438483036405977,0.19357365016257524,0.0,0.0,0.06254312503811764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24815407118324395,0.0,0.04962135005189012,0.0,0.09500203324510606,0.0,0.04961662029724452,0.0405065563243572,0.0,0.0,0.050102369555637793,0.0,0.0,0.04386131346536386,0.04085429448867492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16369170141718428,0.024517627763869523,0.0,0.0,0.05311761629222528,0.0,0.0,0.11726681596234415,0.0,0.03746268347323643,0.0,0.1013345521218382,0.1860612736757472,0.11023025992863206,0.08134098467483927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043436854414772914,0.0,0.0,0.2061672718250116,0.0,0.0,0.1300053206092148,0.0,0.09727736654836068,0.04816077802432743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861989678753177,0.0,0.05049410455651725,0.05329686049020789,0.0790504404737055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684987993777616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040718767676492136,0.0,0.052931757344669685,0.08244767297658485,0.0,0.0,0.0323669588540032,0.0,0.0974279619881408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051439444198011317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719083466105339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046526754570716825,0.0,0.050881323608690326,0.05163948142188212,0.0,0.0,0.05159599342543983,0.0,0.05384158704009157,0.0,0.04628848717286284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04583802562485121,0.054664357164443664,0.0,0.0493310115725702,0.0,0.1855907001417571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700476759718228,0.11038279142090801,0.12425385128677842,0.04985503712448284,0.09575459270717096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477569743880119,0.0,0.0,0.054779064045042965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885739225257964,0.0,0.11198820838106184,0.0,0.0,0.03432094915677688,0.0,0.0,0.04053919416692718,0.05554428569629197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045700555508681184,0.0,0.07291578079497188,0.07794766397444775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664233305859593,0.09320988337494747,0.04764045363872182,0.0,0.11309791425338245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548478584436116,0.0,0.10095806343977272,0.0,0.04187915370333077,0.0,0.12002615786025399,0.08580066897396553,0.11546555735790567,0.0,0.0,0.043597669788444635,0.0,0.04375401685667056,0.05413652927747885,0.0,0.04674191814336503,0.0525845361341202,0.035300760178934285,0.04924319920015421,0.0,0.3444538044000661,0.0,0.05891976064174428,0.0936764846723869
mentalhealth,Hessarial,2019/03/27,"Kind if freaking out. ive been in a group therapy program as part of the terms of my probation and as I dont have any emotional support from my family and no outlet or way to deal with past trauma i decided it would be a good idea to see a councilor 1 on 1. 

​

Long story short, ive started seeing the therapist that runs the group program. First session went really well and it started to get more and more easy to open up to her. It is extremely strange to have someone take what i say at face value and believe me/validate what i feel.  

​

 im starting to have a lot of thoughts/feelings that i would consider ""romantic"" in nature toward her, almost what it felt like during the beginning of my first relationship. Im going to be seeing her again in a week and I am kinda scared that this infatuation is going to become stronger/might interfere with my ability to be honest with her. Shes an extremely sharp psychologist and i think that seeing her will do a lot of good, i dont want to try and find a different psych because ill have to start the whole trusting process over again and it isn't easy...

 I was able to talk to her openly in private because i know her from our interactions in group therapy. She is extremely caring and understanding, and has an insane amount of insight in mental health. I feel almost between a rock and a hard place. I cannot wait to see her again and at the same time im scared to,  she is probably the best support ive had and i have no idea what to do. ",4.674108910891089,5.3775352475247535,5.857113861386143,80.05378960396042,69.46204620462046,9.228316831683168,30.661551155115514,9.3871,2.6448786798679857,1192,47,237,24,20,399,158,303,0.087,0.774,0.139,0.9588,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,0,3,4,15,0,2,18,0,30,3,1,0,0,44,56,18,0,4,2,0,5,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,14,20,0,2,11,1,0,4,6,4,1,2,5,11,32,11,44,45,10,37,0,0,5,0,20,17,0,7,16,166,46,4,0.08732201163534196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488076202869576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18922672624828385,0.2122116040148116,0.05938196231140287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646137559859037,0.0964403013092087,0.0,0.09838200447385427,0.091639063871296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903061056923292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002515969937361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123291661615944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046814945924265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822550986831413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231942110978235,0.0,0.13245789844712785,0.0,0.08384282508999016,0.0,0.07981073666307756,0.14855211697710313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045622146996346806,0.0,0.09925422309782532,0.14648312078988812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822337063421514,0.0,0.0,0.092819215007015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715184452902812,0.28296827129579605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093243764502257,0.04798989392689182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04266112407984857,0.0,0.0,0.07727723243382162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847610325536229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800004937209774,0.0926348549620246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456122913316158,0.08335874079750379,0.0,0.0,0.09123291661615944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941478976968778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055940716661498684,0.0,0.0,0.09375116114577628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944196850133504,0.17484913419014633,0.0,0.34792168827204545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398765708798692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472278771176895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981839679822624,0.0,0.0,0.06565528539134306,0.07018612525347576,0.0,0.0,0.19972066098757707,0.10138758585209083,0.0,0.055952419147634734,0.0,0.0,0.05091816720958379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928591393301245,0.0,0.0,0.09090529368853277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051504784897833084,0.06931214833105606,0.07004445055132617,0.0,0.07851297541218279,0.08094837962776064,0.0,0.097491907542044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406210334967545,0.0,0.2122116040148116,0.0
mentalhealth,creamy_iceman,2019/03/27,Help So I’m pretty sure I just heard my girlfriend cheat on me over the phone while I’m in the hospital and tbh idk should I message the guy? I added him on snapchat she always talks to and about him literally everyday they text more than we do at this point I’m pretty sure also his Snapchat and her Snapchat location are very conveniently turned off...,1.5680317460317497,4.250512628571428,2.2776190476190514,92.58626984126984,87.0,5.968253968253968,22.063492063492063,7.3871296695380915,0.9043015873015876,284,10,59,5,9,88,53,70,0.058,0.748,0.194,0.8856,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,1,0,4,3,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,2,8,8,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,12,2,9,6,1,9,0,0,0,0,14,7,0,0,2,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481810915958552,0.22351626396762006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659794895820221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005266406090606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539360263217272,0.0,0.0,0.546573325635479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5063489235574025,0.0,0.0,0.21590938724901465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29218522165353844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22164251307523586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nhaz___,2019/03/27,"Have u ever hated your life u wish u can have a new life of your own but its hard then u thought what if i become a criminal and be in prison? Thats new life I hate my life. I think im going crazy. I hate my life so much, this thought randomly came to my mind. Like im so desperate to have a new life i thought of becoming a criminal and be in prison. ",-1.1481805555555549,0.6416259874999994,1.7416666666666671,98.40777777777781,89.125,6.055555555555558,18.88888888888889,7.3871296695380915,0.2154722222222225,269,8,71,5,9,94,44,80,0.405,0.542,0.053,-0.9889,0,0,0,0,0,2,6.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,3,0,4,0,6,6,0,0,1,13,16,7,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,4,1,10,1,6,10,2,9,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,6,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922353862271839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131878971287818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967516633530564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519054748873548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851703395237753,0.3918639207925338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858187601710636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.560694919620393,0.06463630817778214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358778816852646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725754467447087,0.0,0.0,0.38333567472399255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477408613401438,0.0,0.31510016898637105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214132104039324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,silverballs0117,2019/03/27,"I believe I have an mental illness but my family won’t let me get undiagnosed or even see a professional. What do I do? I’m under my legal guardian’s insurance and I don’t know how to get help without them knowing? I’ve taken the issue up with them and it’s never gone well so idk how to go about this? 

They’re just very traditional and think that getting diagnosed is going to hurt my future. I don’t know how to get them to understand that my inability to do what I need to do is going to hurt me more in the long run in a way they understand. 

I’m not doing well and I need help. Can’t keep living like this and I don’t know what to do? 

",0.4587142857142865,2.323933728571429,3.312857142857143,89.12214285714286,83.14285714285714,6.571428571428572,20.0,7.7094869923839395,0.6518571428571436,502,14,115,9,14,178,78,140,0.157,0.758,0.085,-0.8807,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,4,0,9,5,0,0,5,0,15,2,0,3,1,25,37,11,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,7,0,0,5,8,2,2,0,2,1,18,3,16,33,1,13,0,2,1,0,6,4,0,1,4,80,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748846128148556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575493807332186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252417557402416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14633164027221346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243931268084261,0.0,0.2646526130901638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20808713104810087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323416127225665,0.0,0.0,0.16201382387735686,0.0,0.13797047567306178,0.0,0.0,0.34122882790666803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872734707512048,0.0,0.07583474444184132,0.0,0.13706588654200855,0.13736860664578246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642956905007413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23019367937373225,0.11971853703261265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369365732839455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946145345401154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32318790767807104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280762906360435,0.0,0.12320981147994385,0.0,0.0,0.2791305458621937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963067050732068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,enimrackire,2019/03/27,"feel bored. any advice? feel like a move will help but maybe it has nothing todo with my location. maybe just my thinking i’m a happily married guy. have lived in Prague for many years (from the US originally). i feel the desire to live near places like the sea or mountains to give me more access to more activities. i love to ski (a 6 hour drive from here) or would love to live by a sea to surf or kite surf. the sea is too far, i have to fly there. i mean i like prague a lot but i just don’t have such access to such places like this. not near at least. i wonder if i made a move to the mountains or the sea would i be happier? more satisfied? or would it just grow old over time and become routine there. hmmm. should we be happy wherever we live? is it just all internal? our inner world? or can a place make one happier?",-0.10486257928118192,2.156551093023257,1.7288583509513735,96.59256871035942,90.3953488372093,5.2202959830866815,16.53911205073996,6.7829847944221076,-0.21890465116279006,636,15,147,9,22,208,100,172,0.008,0.7170000000000001,0.275,0.9954,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,4,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,13,0,15,2,0,3,1,34,27,10,0,6,14,0,3,4,0,5,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,6,1,0,4,2,1,0,1,1,3,16,7,19,19,6,20,0,0,0,2,9,11,0,9,9,95,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231894786961446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857286758565399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922913640151935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912270965560827,0.09006102181952913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093325086074175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482439254468215,0.0,0.1341987760226782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449886287387416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414885256828626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24635640423857624,0.0,0.4452716126466054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717614602959044,0.22755757467833476,0.11928596387959632,0.08414951649770827,0.12781035127514226,0.2532989253528569,0.13732198714514618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26797476651623003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096298323835634,0.0,0.1322842470232621,0.0,0.08542505894980904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951339850484317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807775057911102,0.0,0.0,0.07350964639781339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164094348888602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671235876382612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686593562293549,0.0,0.0,0.0811818715905441
mentalhealth,Drj5025,2019/03/27,"How can I make sure I have ADHD? Earlier on the bus today I was having a conversation with this nice elderly woman when she give me this strange look, I ask what's wrong and she told me I kind of went off the subject of what we were talking about( It was trucking sense I'm trying to get my CDL and her Husband drove trucks for 30 years and I some how start talking about this book I'm reading that have nothing to do with trucking) I apologize and tell her I was like that sense I was little( I'm 34) she said it was ok but then said something that have me thinking about all day. She said that her grandson had ADHD( Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder )too and their nothing I should be worry about. 

So my question is how can I find out if I have ADHD and what do I do if I do?",2.6389853704577644,4.060260883435582,3.995705521472392,88.74772534214253,75.13496932515338,6.733176026427561,26.03539405379896,7.321109707123232,1.1147436526663523,616,22,134,7,13,203,95,163,0.047,0.8759999999999999,0.078,0.4007,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,1,0,10,6,0,0,3,1,21,0,0,4,2,24,37,15,0,3,3,2,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,12,10,0,0,3,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,13,4,28,5,14,22,2,12,0,0,1,0,24,4,0,4,7,96,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5275624572098263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367940740838718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09436748638179554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677010675539762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337383516892817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764487460574989,0.14036822351836906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237491638590225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148697849684607,0.14665603896767526,0.0,0.0,0.1228761035478478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767303910745588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808054682694766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391742994120556,0.0,0.14636454573731753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175656012378008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264809385929805,0.0,0.0,0.10356955141555607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790953192625313,0.0,0.0,0.2352209012299414,0.12789445419725673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375911841813994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869894149848674,0.13981975855444329,0.0,0.09934503475723164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356446928818196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860008760625426,0.0,0.0,0.1599833603030671,0.0,0.0942284691427267
mentalhealth,ThroawaBeginningPast,2019/03/27,"Bad dreams all the time... I cannot call them nightmares, even when most people would; I am not scared,  I am not running away from any threat, I am not panicking.

But the dreams just suck, they all suck; in most of them I am back to my home city, just trying to go back to where I live now, or just fighting for survival, and shit gets bloody pretty quick.

Usually it involves killing someone or other people while/or avoid getting killed; and there's no innocents to speak off, it's the survival of the fittest, whether they are innocent or not is irrelevant, the weak dies off, whether they pledge for their lives or deserve it, whether you kill them, or someone else does, it's all irrelevant.

Of course, the reason I get these dreams is clear; my home city is remarkably dangerous, some of my family members lost their lives there, some fleed, like I did, it's also the reason I am not scared, because after all, just like in real life, if you don't think clear, you are done for, so you think clear, even if you are dreaming, which explains why my dreams are highly realistic, it's the only way for my brain to fool me, if something does not make sense, I immediately wake up, you think clear and don't accept any emotional nonsense, so none flies in my dreams, none breaks the rules of physics, I'd immediately pick it up if that happened and notice it's a dream, which is why I get no nightmares, they make no sense, but instead I get these bad dreams all the time, all the fucking time; damn god, I've been outside for 4 years, I'd have expected the dreams to change to my current activities.

And before you say, therapy, hell no, I am not scared, I am not depressed, and I am not being violent to anyone, there's no need for therapy; having bad dreams is just a nuisance, doesn't prevent me from getting rest; but it's very annoying to look around you every morning just to make sure you are not in there.",16.097406417112307,6.9117747299465275,13.698673796791446,63.46330481283425,57.04812834224599,16.992085561497323,51.03636363636363,11.00357731598739,5.4282532620320865,1495,51,309,19,10,466,173,374,0.173,0.684,0.14300000000000002,-0.9273,1,1,1,0,2,0,62.0,0,9,9,3,23,29,14,4,14,0,29,6,3,6,11,70,50,25,4,7,31,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,2,0,15,7,0,2,7,10,0,2,21,25,0,0,4,3,42,4,34,44,13,28,1,2,1,1,24,12,6,13,14,205,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410109038399318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602552272517634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479083248835832,0.0,0.0,0.08248807126090632,0.0,0.0,0.0870582032359098,0.1425014136804434,0.2321045762850285,0.056485378672292974,0.0,0.07884781618171106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344049136240316,0.09461739710511734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980232131888572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980891509379613,0.0,0.09616764725472368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217679842415966,0.09482453053776607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740650311090122,0.10423132500392444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240363497863532,0.0,0.0780710176423884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735268818997996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566374260397247,0.2904697672118883,0.0,0.05266146849016615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193995136681892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790159534042217,0.18589338269217712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075475099083793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544931250968103,0.09053911748507704,0.0,0.24546448655221115,0.0,0.07781203101008045,0.0,0.101150594159541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18555611697726093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687070706657558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549533657035352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047298214484345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847915239208466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426970464186099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546867794800213,0.0,0.1905421954593479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736878678204734,0.2783099363423148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511534173079084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702298807215628,0.07133508240837834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733203987586279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119322073594043,0.0,0.0,0.1781205755842319,0.0,0.0,0.1620943900054521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291084028569546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205316869522063,0.07645515528731475,0.0,0.07355011003862474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722455568970362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582382434179583,0.0,0.0,0.05967074436170696
mentalhealth,oreoHummus,2019/03/27,"I think I need help. I am 20. I live in the U.S. I have schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety. I have no job, no car, no home to call my own. No family and few friends. I don't know what to do. I can't eat, or sleep, and I desperately want to kill myself. Is there anyone who knows how I can get better? ",-1.5637878787878776,0.3876908030303028,1.3942424242424245,98.12803030303031,95.51515151515152,5.357575757575758,14.90909090909091,6.937597516519254,-0.3672,227,5,58,4,9,79,47,66,0.293,0.5710000000000001,0.136,-0.8885,1,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,1,0,8,2,1,1,0,10,14,5,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,1,0,3,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,0,0,12,2,4,14,2,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,39,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015369481317148,0.0,0.0,0.1842089206576866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23299828841894235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269009795472301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269073191941271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695730059434864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483552655526525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20353922000508692,0.0,0.1376406719047422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17658359666236176,0.0,0.2642597576538709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614314234362761,0.0,0.2914661054934544,0.0,0.28956818911936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23262935197764095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534330464366856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636381925684392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688067983033085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553884169505356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yoyonissan,2019/03/27,"Employment: Can’t believe this is my life right now.... I’m just sitting here anxiety raging that my life is just royally screwed because of my 4 and a half year job gap. I look back on it now and it’s completely insane, I’m 25 and only had a job for 2 years and I left that job on bad terms due to anxiety.  No ones even gonna hire me to be a dishwasher at this point. Idk, I don’t think I can really live like this anymore, I don’t see the point. I didn’t choose to have any of this crippling depression and anxiety. It’s just so fucked up that all these years of mental torture hating myself, isolating myself, and still being screwed when I want to attempt and get back into the world. I really have no idea what to do at this point. I’m stuck, just damn stuck, this mental disorder has no bounds. I see no way out. ",2.6014311270125248,3.704722720930235,4.18279069767442,88.6394901610018,74.69767441860466,8.083005366726299,24.27728085867621,8.617729084823388,1.4012543828264756,636,19,143,12,13,213,101,172,0.311,0.667,0.022,-0.994,4,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,13,10,7,0,5,0,14,5,0,0,1,19,28,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,14,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,9,0,2,4,3,15,1,16,21,2,26,0,1,3,3,0,13,4,0,12,91,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090721385005182,0.0,0.3067952777287645,0.0,0.1325749741950317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055838564642564,0.1116174982953331,0.08149029319340376,0.0,0.0,0.1506119631547443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016129088852214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513867912920735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153209248727665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829460239805496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123585318270446,0.06984245908793406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198165772709078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090882983578113,0.0,0.0,0.3979713243833575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524407824607555,0.0,0.1888447520787102,0.06530946063171228,0.0,0.11804218748216692,0.0,0.11225781556273803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694366772567309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058525661937136,0.10166992082171827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3791133857907975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127809504858635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416227812947095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21305184327156795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675729051000843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565696273571997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884812681761336,0.10610922989872086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25825726413104444
mentalhealth,Strivingforjannah,2019/03/27,"What is there left to do in terms of treatment after you’ve been to six months of residential? Here is my story. I’ve been suffering from mental health issues since I was a child. I tried to strangle myself to death at 12. I’ve been variously diagnosed as an adult with BPD, insomnia, epilepsy, psueodseizures, Bipolar, GAD, OCD, BDD, PTSD, autism and variants of depression.  I only really identify with having OCD/BDD, depression, insomnia and autism.  I also have chronic anger issues and homicidal ideation. I was diagnosed with autism as an adult. 

I have been hospitalized five times and it never helped whatsoever. I have been in therapy for two years.  I’ve been on remeron, latuda, seroquel, trazadone, abilify, Prozac, prazosin, fluvox, and now lexapro.  I was sent involuntarily to six months of residential treatment and am now returned and doing PHP again.

I don’t think since returning I have ever been happy. I alternate between extreme anxiety, anger, and depression mainly. I can’t complete self-care like I don’t brush my teeth or my hair or wear deodorant. I bite myself compulsively to stim and have been doing so since 11.  I used to cut myself and intend to buy some razors and get back to it since I have literally no idea what else to do to cope with this crippling, never ending sadness that is my life. 

Since I’ve returned I’ve lost all my friends.  I don’t go out or talk to anyone anymore. I’m not in school. I don’t have a job. I’m a virgin who has never been kissed or had a boyfriend.  The only friends I have are some people I met over the internet and talk to occasionally.  I have no interest in doing anything whatsoever. My life is worse than it was before going to residential and I was an idiot for ruining my life. I had friends. I went out. I had two jobs. I had a closer relationship with a boy I liked. Now I have to live with the trauma and anger and humiliation of being involuntarily commited to a psychiatric hospital for hitting my head during an epileptic seizure as well. My genitals worked! (Psych meds have destroyed my ability to orgasm) I thought I was sad before, but I was naïve to what sadness and suffering really was.  

I don’t interact with my extended family and several of them are dead anyway. I have no relationship with my mom who abused me as a kid.  I don’t talk to my sisters. I will literally text my own sister and she will ignore me, lol.  The only person who tries to care is my dad who I’m mad at for fucking my life up and my relationships with my friends.

I have severe body dysmorphia and constantly plan surgeries and treatments to get to improve my appearance to be pretty so anyone will like me.  It is almost all I think about. I also have some other problems with excessive fantasization and daydreaming. 

I just don’t know how someone’s life can be this unhappy or disappointing.  I just want to know what other treatment options are left after all this has clearly not worked. ",4.5450259792166285,6.51895173201439,5.740177458033575,75.91497442046368,71.24820143884892,8.970999200639488,29.801598721023183,9.50193526645192,2.9617841406874503,2337,97,415,56,45,778,257,556,0.145,0.7659999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9822,2,0,0,0,1,1,70.0,0,0,1,4,18,34,8,0,16,1,68,22,6,3,9,71,90,37,2,2,10,4,1,3,4,3,13,0,0,6,18,34,0,1,6,0,1,5,16,22,1,5,26,2,67,12,65,57,10,40,0,11,0,4,30,14,1,11,24,301,85,6,0.0,0.09323583282915716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879755591725643,0.0,0.0,0.12585814694775255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06019831275743176,0.0,0.07804021449890165,0.11004499493773297,0.0,0.06475589466062924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050843439116894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13392029704397995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740783526940525,0.09910841679452467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802306032212448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082505897299229,0.08503689281645864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20332903560995647,0.15973918665870582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573613824546316,0.0,0.06969676871329837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118041194365858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074182764447354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431855347191653,0.07274845652658685,0.08222548066024664,0.0,0.08944368841772783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376791189048485,0.0,0.0,0.08075955183188227,0.08364473255795839,0.0,0.0,0.052744842463158484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883243252861184,0.0,0.16426568186554044,0.1561771252222407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649290651071083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17099575677599899,0.0,0.27790850137247736,0.11533317688620155,0.0,0.06948549443031381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590039821015898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740783526940525,0.0,0.07930190526024106,0.0,0.0,0.09216181516375373,0.12562062963913642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207378833759716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954389530578355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054554352566513135,0.06870984681012374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005692141676965,0.0,0.07529655090832044,0.09198543524505637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082279372644873,0.0,0.0,0.25345368845590405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963937820603778,0.0,0.0,0.08209175642509636,0.17779660646475198,0.0,0.3254695722550712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667453273814994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18974626134241684,0.0,0.0,0.08998988664869663,0.0,0.0,0.10084388529295334,0.0,0.062471773993959916,0.045885288711665535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068518930052615,0.0,0.15373912368182527,0.0,0.0,0.06796366038625079,0.0,0.0,0.04641392364618499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075255732539068,0.07294724012105037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457580509735862,0.0,0.08019273605585865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067435089983347
mentalhealth,suedecubs,2019/03/27,"How did being diagnose affect the way you viewed things/ the way you viewed yourself? I have not yet been diagnosed but after seeing my school counsellor a bit she has suggested me going to see a professional for depression . I think it’d be great to understand myself better and why I am the way I am and to be able to improve however, if I am diagnosed, I feel like, okay, now what do I do with this information? I’m afraid that I’ll internalise it or I won’t be able to separate myself from my diagnosis, and I’m afraid that I’ll use it as an excuse for the poor habits that I have. I had a friend who had bipolar disorder and he told me he hated being diagnosed and wished he just never knew and that it never helped him knowing. Some part of me thinks that what I’m going through seems (not to invalidate anyone else’s experience, I’m terribly sorry if this is offensive) to just feel like the natural course of what I’m supposed to go through. It completely perplexes me that feeling like wanting to die all the time isn’t.. something that everybody goes through every day. But now that I put it like that I understand. To put a label on it and to confront it just seems odd to me. I’m so comfortable in the unknown that I don’t know how to feel if it were to be explained to me. How was it for you guys when you were diagnosed? ",5.374727859778599,5.3425403726937315,6.5602744464944625,78.19620502767529,67.78228782287823,10.612638376383764,32.06665129151291,10.411451182825502,3.1693116236162364,1055,41,216,26,16,357,137,271,0.117,0.73,0.153,0.8625,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,0,1,11,16,3,2,12,1,26,6,0,5,3,45,56,19,1,5,11,0,4,4,1,1,6,0,0,1,27,8,0,0,15,0,1,5,7,7,0,0,9,8,29,9,29,39,4,19,0,1,4,0,18,2,0,7,13,153,56,2,0.20627720546183248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211690912141658,0.10567768685400086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121771264584694,0.11260064151825233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813886266933212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651586631772419,0.0,0.08883312740166313,0.5234175536067415,0.10704158614932904,0.0,0.1182057742391217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615906812524057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689872113225712,0.0,0.0,0.10088934421704834,0.0,0.0,0.20859990603608006,0.22104671519710148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968462862353982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17584813428603707,0.0,0.0,0.1137106736220886,0.0,0.10212343213162912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182801734590356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913163134209503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336455750685527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20155324624908225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590936974385099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168905597411803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073655656355896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438177227089196,0.16437622595325888,0.18778702062242425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940113527848475,0.0,0.11545522167548518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852070473976446,0.13217410415144312,0.0,0.0,0.06014094867106942,0.0,0.0,0.09855335481710926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21474184564213936,0.0,0.08907863774099678,0.0,0.0,0.0608338201197476,0.2455998664230201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306654678121727,0.0,0.118604303095298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yagirlxx94,2019/03/27,"Sexually frustrated new mom I’m a new mom. I’m disgusted with my body. My boyfriend seems rather disgusted with me too. I find myself begging for sex and it feels so pathetic. My once hyper sexual partner hasn’t even tried touching me in that way in 3+ months. I think about it for hours every day. Every night after he goes to bed without even a hint of wanting me I end up sitting out on the couch and crying, and exploring reddit for advice. 

I have PPD and I’m a very anxious person to begin with. The lack of sex (really just the affirmation of love that comes with it) is killing me. I wonder if he is getting it elsewhere, or if he would just rather watch porn. 


I never saw this coming. This is supposed to be the best time of our lives. I feel so entirely alone. ",1.6207692307692303,3.854797423076928,3.416346153846156,87.93490384615384,81.1794871794872,6.464102564102564,22.570512820512814,7.6454224807358475,1.0801358974358979,602,20,123,10,16,201,102,156,0.17600000000000002,0.774,0.05,-0.9648,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,1,10,6,4,0,7,0,7,5,1,0,1,30,22,9,1,7,8,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,8,11,0,0,7,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,1,5,16,2,22,19,2,21,0,0,2,4,9,5,0,5,11,79,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175479147399254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16084123886932522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544182313643322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297500749815716,0.0,0.0,0.17250036748157654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675498645521433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705868674543167,0.10015395546293747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754737407998305,0.0,0.0,0.2051448949323419,0.0,0.26168946231546525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704603168600298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193898165924773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113646554982533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293662602231106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181352938815928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713042185433966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016193858087547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637648028810364,0.12395687817475852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197749046188454,0.2999743330654402,0.0,0.14573606051229732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538662944342147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559967236138398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948747108726982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137689201925355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950828331172083,0.0,0.0,0.09055514463165128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543671944682816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281365933388307,0.0915984117505216,0.12326782287772282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970112175014355,0.1684133719511502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031879511584408,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,spd5233,2019/03/27,Serious Question Is it normal to feel more down/empty when you're alone after having a fun time with friends earlier in the day compared to feeling normal when you haven't spent that much time around people earlier in the day?,20.333953488372096,8.808153093023257,17.096279069767444,49.07837209302328,52.95348837209302,19.990697674418605,59.27906976744186,13.023866798666859,7.418553488372092,185,7,31,3,1,58,34,43,0.073,0.752,0.175,0.6808,0,1,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,6,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,1,2,7,5,2,10,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,7,20,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29149394471694673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25054727046951925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630197300409481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28461585847077275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174450546367052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689573897709368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5515161005302095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511973338701455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152847630460021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282277170786929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,questionsfordays21,2019/03/27,"Do I have PTSD?! I’m not trying to self diagnose on Reddit but I would like to hear your opinions and possibly speak with those that have PTSD. So I’ve gone through about 3 terrible things in the past 4 years that has changed me into the reasons why I feel like I might have ptsd. 
- saw a death of a loved one
- saw my boyfriends dog dead due to a coyote 
- was in the passenger seat when my friend hit a jaywalker ( thought she was dead but no blood, just passed out) 
Every little thing that happens I instantly think someone’s going to die. For example I have a 6 month old puppy, she was having a nightmare was shaking and then opened her eyes. I thought she was dead but she’s just tired.... jeez... :/ ",2.2226868131868187,4.257227807142858,2.8542857142857163,93.77994505494509,78.07142857142857,6.307692307692308,23.62637362637363,7.321109707123232,0.8045439560439562,543,18,118,7,13,169,96,140,0.248,0.654,0.098,-0.9814,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,1,9,0,14,5,2,1,0,20,27,8,5,1,6,0,1,2,1,2,2,2,0,1,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,4,2,2,0,1,10,6,16,4,14,14,0,18,0,0,3,1,11,7,1,2,9,72,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16868837987973942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618493527162122,0.16549513206622454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435259927955634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062817041566113,0.1139188255092909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319901649536087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062524592597107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410106564948289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972390790381693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580898184671202,0.15982161082828064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391959539969046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916270663820407,0.0,0.0,0.1272800871231253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732728265584895,0.0,0.10805476318184487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152223374463521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797680896196832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5592034164618694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639522578638537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635238877391245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511061614933226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21187733642807527,0.1021760402156331,0.0,0.2531881223499358,0.0,0.1832767289561764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826341413865598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388856709408507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327637530421532,0.0,0.0,0.1026875253844328
mentalhealth,rita_lines,2019/03/27,"Hearing my mom having sex when I was a kid had a huge impact in my mental health and still does to this day It all started when I was in grade 5 or 6.  One night I started to hear weird noises coming from my mom's room and these weird noises soon turned into moans. I could hear my step father (which my mom is married to this day) saying disgusting things, he would even shout that he was about to cum.

They had absolute no respect for me and acted like we didn't leaved in a small appartament, even when I tried to tell my mother that they should have some respect for me by saying things like
""You know im not deaf, right?"" Cause I couldnt find a way to tell her explict to stop doing that, things didnt got better.
Mom was quiet but my stepfather was loud and disgusting. Like if they wanted/didn't care about me hearing all the nasty they were doing. And it proceded to go on for years untill we moved to a house.

I think I have developed a trauma over this cause I could be having a good day and then the scene of hearing them would pop to my head and I would get extremely sad/mad out of nowhere. 8 years later it still drives me insane to even think about it.
Every now and then it just pops in my head and makes me angry. And it has been 8 fucking years 
Please, dont ever do that to your son.",3.3988187134502894,4.242789688888887,4.068401559454191,91.20464912280704,72.48148148148148,6.869395711500975,21.24756335282651,6.8360192770164,0.24992592592592544,1016,19,226,8,19,323,150,270,0.129,0.799,0.071,-0.9435,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,2,2,5,1,15,14,3,0,9,0,29,6,2,3,3,39,47,19,0,8,5,7,0,3,0,4,2,11,1,1,18,15,0,1,4,0,0,6,6,6,0,1,12,11,34,8,31,27,3,41,0,0,0,2,29,12,1,3,25,154,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997830444761485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219977862572527,0.18579377929058205,0.0,0.07789774766748471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444025677391872,0.0,0.0,0.1749603027520555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791362172107055,0.0,0.10598370812884177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179185199224025,0.0817994376235157,0.07619147831307158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265171052117617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360141040717503,0.0472461305903601,0.0,0.05139365741051263,0.07584869531322942,0.07232541965720622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18561527651185974,0.0961232436927464,0.5096079385446542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434449373113047,0.0,0.0,0.09768030645028723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049698160756639034,0.0,0.0,0.09575269385486844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253911786984585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036296733183046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113253317353062,0.0,0.0,0.42364377754512733,0.0,0.09611316113393603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486276669841264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127795211809025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926537927065412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722703311759267,0.0,0.14382770335330616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801414813747344,0.0,0.1444356042091377,0.07560382994877196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580802405899947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18023373835031747,0.11588824621109553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139627826091235,0.09836226366909316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717794103773702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927173989633655,0.0,0.0,0.17470256039642218
mentalhealth,london_brigid,2019/03/27,"[Vent] Relationships and Taking Steps Backwards I'm really upset with myself currently. For the past 2 months or so, I've been in a really great spot with my mental health. I was making good choices for myself, I felt generally happy, and I was able to manage stress and cope appropriately. These past two weeks, however, I've been messing up and panicking recently. I started talking with a guy who was showing a lot of interest and we had a good connection, and we ended up having a late phone call one night where we flirted with each other and shared secrets and it was really nice. The next day, I found out he had a girlfriend and he decided he was no longer interested in me, despite our conversation the night before. I feel betrayed, but part of me wants to keep trying (which the rational side of me knows I shouldn't do). I've started having more frequent panic attacks, and my ability to validate myself and cope on my own has diminished. I have therapy this Saturday, but I feel like I'm already slipping so hard on my progress. I feel ashamed because during my last session, my therapist told me she was proud of all the progress I had made and how confident I seemed. I feel like I lost all of that because I allowed myself to be trampled by one person who isn't even worth my time, and yet, I feel like I need that person's validation in order to be a somewhat acceptable human being. I feel like I'll never find someone who appreciates me and values me. I feel as though validation is only acceptable when it comes from other people, because self-validation right now feels so worthless.

I just needed to get that out there, but any and all words of encouragement are appreciated.",6.3815217391304335,7.031286375776402,7.216329192546585,72.00095341614909,65.67701863354036,10.290931677018634,33.49130434782609,10.241411754978122,3.5286591304347823,1351,56,237,31,20,451,185,322,0.103,0.693,0.204,0.9883,3,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,4,0,0,4,12,25,1,4,12,0,23,1,0,4,4,65,50,26,0,4,5,0,10,4,1,1,1,0,0,4,13,26,0,1,17,1,1,2,4,8,0,3,16,10,42,17,30,30,9,38,0,2,0,0,25,13,0,4,26,165,55,2,0.1001816875783901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055298341822703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812698292975372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397113231841817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832094806849417,0.0,0.08524723739926507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229670400169397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629765315593535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460890066383207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873123969420436,0.0,0.0,0.06616905980952859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052389709003469,0.2862792704929983,0.09619013066180274,0.0,0.09156424750235073,0.0,0.0,0.10984404952252284,0.0,0.0,0.052340796913038334,0.0,0.0,0.16805529290556045,0.0,0.11045066422760104,0.0,0.0991956212450902,0.0,0.10664526929810723,0.08974311438141283,0.0,0.0,0.10648844918891773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904608699016918,0.0,0.0,0.05505723551561111,0.08166144644811188,0.1130093071955889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957748487131992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093601463041558,0.08517088824809711,0.0,0.0947943350785411,0.0668720543821285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095957809462887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996406723602023,0.0,0.0,0.14856690388364446,0.07726629346558984,0.0,0.10654436127608384,0.18802745459736975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577140845114036,0.07619268776310281,0.0,0.1175416250228162,0.0,0.1084870050132103,0.19126951317561275,0.06945336811601414,0.17494957081124704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19253686308431167,0.0,0.09891733047481736,0.10755764050923634,0.0,0.08555461380850396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912016458103188,0.10451134895847236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488361878330583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181822820060136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475778464245552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532416129409765,0.08052224566063076,0.0,0.0,0.11456649066653544,0.11631866078140644,0.0,0.0,0.09842799939555796,0.0,0.058416747666749674,0.0,0.0,0.09572789567305552,0.0,0.06801678976704346,0.0,0.09786295179554093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05908975495175778,0.0,0.08035970690914412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lambdaapple,2019/03/27,"Looking for tips to heal I am new to the group, I am hoping this is a place I can turn to. To give some back story- I spent a couple of years abroad for my studies, leaving my family, friends, and a partner of several years, back in the States. While away I had a major depressive episode where I acted extremely recklessly; where I hurt myself, my friends, and my partner. I acted in ways that go against my values and who I really am. 

I am back home, mostly healthy, seeing a therapist, doing the adult thing, and working things out with my partner. Things have been going well for the most part. But recently I have been having a lot of memories that creep up, which are brought up from a mention of something trivial. These thoughts, I feel are taking away from the progress I have made, and I can't seem to shake them easily anymore. There are a lot of subtleties to this story that I don't quite have time to get into, but this person that did these things just wasn't me. So when these thought creep up, it can stop me in my tracks with the guilt, embarrassment, and shame. 

Does anyone have any techniques or advice to deal with something like this?",6.953601190476192,6.3960604910714345,6.440000000000001,82.13833333333334,64.625,9.430952380952384,32.50595238095238,8.59863814320734,2.363566666666668,906,31,180,11,12,280,130,224,0.085,0.8270000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.5061,0,0,2,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,1,3,10,11,0,4,14,0,24,1,0,1,0,27,40,12,0,1,4,0,1,1,5,0,1,0,1,5,18,11,0,1,4,0,1,6,3,6,1,0,10,3,26,5,32,30,7,32,0,2,2,0,13,13,0,8,12,140,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670828667392942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817744625253285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859400444056918,0.09066560528152064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24365128176192705,0.29911585702648386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347315766526744,0.0,0.0,0.13368013403024345,0.11168128755160962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134717445896964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223773091873033,0.0,0.06556311471484355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003595321486377,0.0,0.06774522528574359,0.12438761151241605,0.14738455217511034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006574705336565,0.12878777036570638,0.0,0.0,0.13881032343212274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729775826845034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633483439953807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888693073948427,0.0,0.0,0.2204750921825157,0.0,0.12269327110891423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523240096636598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041583293823978,0.0,0.0,0.11321950359242328,0.13547355608082393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791593930425425,0.0,0.0,0.08306747276016273,0.0,0.12802970594457186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103327154487812,0.11804321688330185,0.0,0.1464858710861708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964671469609194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840672936271388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749282734090717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055242457742202,0.3445777832262745,0.0,0.0,0.2058809200864659,0.07560939008474615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410395651160062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10292297519672336,0.0,0.0,0.11658546467745763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943985205837619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700153238886492
mentalhealth,viybe,2019/03/27,"Am I going crazy? To preface— I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression since the young age of 11 years old (currently 18),being hospitalized and put on medication. Since then, I’ve had bouts of intense anxiety and depression that can sometimes heavily interfere with my everyday life and functionality. I’ve undergone steady treatment—ebbing and flowing with when the symptoms get better/worse. Most recently, I was committed to a drug rehab facility and diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder w/ recurrent episodes— which was tough to deal with on top of my previous diagnosis’s of GAD and depression. My recovery went relatively well— I’m still sober three and a half months later, though over the past month I’ve had a new, frightening emergence of symptoms I’ve never had before. I’ve began to have what I believe to be paranoid intrusive thoughts and a much more intense depersonalization than what comes with my typical depressive episodes. Everyday things around me seem foreign and abstract, and it’s hard for me to relate to things— and I get feelings of distress and panic when I encounter things that would normally only be mildly upsetting or stressful— sometimes even talking to a store clerk, etc. It can become so intense that I’m pulled out of the moment with strange and foreign feelings- almost like a deja-vu. The paranoid thoughts, however, are much more worrying— I get rather intrusive thoughts— such as “that car is following me,” “there’s a hearing device in the wall,” etc. The thoughts are brief and I’m always quick to dismiss them— I’ve never actively believed a thought longer than the second that intrusive thought occurs, and I’m quick to forget about it, but the distress caused by alone having that thought can be crippling. I’m afraid this may be a precursor to a more serious illness, what are your thoughts? What should my next step be?",9.997868532955351,9.727957195783132,8.944542877391921,65.71867115520911,58.36746987951808,12.63104181431609,44.22820694542878,11.892052765847286,5.580920056697378,1527,82,238,40,17,476,187,332,0.155,0.82,0.025,-0.9866,3,1,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,1,13,14,0,6,19,0,24,8,0,1,3,51,48,24,0,4,3,0,3,1,0,3,8,1,0,0,17,26,0,1,10,0,1,10,2,13,0,3,15,4,15,1,37,25,9,42,0,5,0,0,4,8,0,5,25,155,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916709886836543,0.09481497128989183,0.0,0.0,0.07617434803431669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006624401793374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149614318539612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110635003424813,0.07789966257152507,0.2062839963453053,0.0,0.08096578673038085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940438761097125,0.0,0.07885954157172285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438082611615432,0.3942460208205666,0.09291816860349784,0.0,0.0,0.10492066978813916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616533081436652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041979684103362,0.06046585894268261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257771881250797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348841825174122,0.0,0.052028208573980564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820080338285556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318000100975136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466227737103836,0.04472518734924151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222386273690314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614371199755555,0.0,0.13459499867253072,0.0,0.1412132140055432,0.08841655901572541,0.09736115850221264,0.0,0.08969651717544716,0.0,0.0,0.0960630635887858,0.0,0.0,0.06962553682958937,0.0,0.10741055319483056,0.0,0.0,0.08739186741509912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202991214908714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039151181373928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833408524585552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145707060456892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18108443459897516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310946641992419,0.0,0.0,0.09570468875821617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903045474876697,0.0,0.07358192426912201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163937475859855,0.0,0.08994435684282179,0.5087460460072165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231165048731018,0.08486488630006044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329410428931807,0.0650322856574258,0.0,0.0,0.058953197136826924
mentalhealth,Sheepinthebarn,2019/03/27,"In Desperate Need of Help! I am really hoping someone can help me or give me advice on what to do. My sister has bi-polar/schizoaeffective disorder. Throughout last 6 years she has been doing great and taking her medication. Recently however (within the last 5 months) my family and I suspected she stopped taking her medication because her old behaviors started coming through (delusional thoughts, not eating, not showering, and abusing drugs & alcohol). 

Well, she confirmed it to my mom last week that she did stop taking all medications. Since then things have gotten really bad. She’s literally full on delusional, and drinking on top of it. I know she’s drinking because she doesn’t feel right, but trying to tell her that is useless because she won’t listen. 

Last night was worst of all because she physically attacked my mom and was taken away by police and arrested for domestic assault. My mom told me to go pick her up at the courthouse after her arraignment this morning. My mom can’t even be around her right now because she’s so delusional she thinks my mom is evil and trying to kill her.

So when I went to court this morning, the judge released her and told her she had to return in 30 days for a mental health evaluation, and they then would decide if she would be committed for treatment. That’s fine and all, but she needs help now! We can’t wait 30 days! 

When I saw her this morning I was shocked at how bad she looked (I don’t live at home anymore so it’s been almost a month since I seen her last). She looks like she lost a significant amount of weight, her lips were all cracked and white from not eating or drinking anything, and she was hyped up out of her mind (manic). She also developed these involuntary movements where she can’t stop touching her private area like ever 30 seconds. Her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a month and was all knotted in the back. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this bad, not even the last time she went off her medication. 

Driving her home was scary because I felt like if I said the wrong thing she would just punch me in the face. I tried (in the most non invasive way possible) to ask if she maybe didn’t feel right and needed to go back on her medication. She flipped out and started screaming at saying “F*cking no! I feel f*cking great!!”. In our short car ride back to my parents house, she proceeds to tell me how my mother is out to get her, that she already stabbed my dad with a butcher knife and she thinks she’s next (a delusion - that never happened), and that my mother is seeing & talking to Jesus Christ in full body form. 

I feel like she’s full on psychosis right now and I’m afraid at what she’ll do to herself or someone else. 
She refuses to go into the hospital and just mentioning it sets her off. She needs help now and we don’t know how we can get her in the hospital against her will because she is an adult who is refusing treatment. 

Has anyone dealt with this before? What options do we have to get her into treatment? Thank you in advance if you read the whole post. I know it’s a long one. I am in Massachusetts. Thank you to anyone who can offer some suggestions.




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mentalhealth,wowieka,2019/03/27,"medication rant/advice hello! i’m a 16 year old female and am looking for some advice or just someone to listen to me. 
just some backstory
i’ve been on zoloft (for mostly anxiety and depression)for one year and ritalin (for add) for 4 months. i was put into therapy september 2017 and stopped a year later for complications with my therapist. i was self harming quite frequently due to anxiety and was working with my therapist with it. (clean for 5 months) i was put on antidepressants because therapy wasn’t working very well. medication has helped with all aspects of my life but i have trouble being on it. i get really embarrassing and ashamed when i think of the fact i’m on medication and i’ve quit cold turkey many times before. this has obviously had a negative effect causing depressive episodes and severe anxiety attacks. i always think i don’t need it but i always depend on it in the end. also i’ve been talking to my mom about returning to therapy which i’ve been asking for for a while. 
my question is should i just accept the fact that i’m on medication and work with my future therapist with the shame and the guilt i feel, or should i attempt to work with my therapist with finding alternate coping strategies that i can use instead of medication. 
i know that mental health is a valid reason to take medication just as any illness is, but i really can’t help feeling like this. i know no matter how much i try this mindset will be stuck with me. or not. hopefully not.
thanks for listening!",4.4552564102564105,6.592640020979028,5.8085489510489525,74.64307983682987,71.86713286713287,9.382051282051282,30.4481351981352,9.827888789773867,3.3526414918414917,1210,53,210,33,24,406,153,286,0.185,0.755,0.061,-0.9892,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,8,10,13,1,4,10,0,24,11,0,6,4,61,44,21,0,4,12,1,2,1,0,3,11,2,1,1,11,21,0,1,11,0,0,2,7,8,1,1,10,6,26,5,38,29,5,26,0,1,1,0,10,8,0,9,17,145,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415248493773127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716856204333377,0.1397765402808764,0.0,0.0,0.05711760176769355,0.0,0.19276149554450928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852140401418124,0.0955532957549108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120088843808264,0.0,0.07147120785589227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628316471640211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234239114849482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439219227472764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493799800477836,0.06000407130617081,0.0,0.0,0.07676738349605794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04388247748128268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927982088834678,0.0,0.0,0.11259645273255915,0.0,0.0,0.08342324361753994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231987436911313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05932620134493561,0.041034364667451265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705323255775923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515494579828735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5076800575527916,0.08464442029069927,0.0,0.0,0.09837069351454317,0.1340836053996846,0.0,0.061743958888496486,0.062279179900238416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813572432003786,0.0,0.05691531391715434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688707951495339,0.09409052861082352,0.17867216694022856,0.0,0.0,0.10761515626967752,0.08635800911472738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762222181730274,0.09488732102006486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116635033236017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022127153631151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315170969361668,0.06750977899353929,0.0,0.0773287676462444,0.2881573309900137,0.3900858461038456,0.0,0.10763766876056848,0.0,0.0,0.04897654917778568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057025215918290864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254232562697792,0.0,0.06930239237826426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551910864233324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445893971898901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622647416142612
mentalhealth,InternalSell,2019/03/27,"I can't stop stratching myself, I feel like I'm losing my mind Tonight I've been scratching my arms so much to the point where I am bleeding in several different locations on each arm and I still cannot stop scratching. I am not overly anxious more than usual and I'm starting to stratch other parts of my body and and again I can't stop. I literally cannot physically bring my hands to stop scratching. Usually I stratch myself in public (my arms or hands) because of social anxiety but it doesn't get this bad. But I'm home alone now and was feeling pretty good until now and now I feel like I'm losing my mind. What is happening how do I stop this what's wrong with me !!!",3.1707707509881438,4.721079384057973,4.352002635046116,86.20571146245062,74.0,7.337022397891962,27.03820816864296,8.00094639256281,1.6175275362318835,537,20,110,8,11,176,81,138,0.13,0.696,0.174,0.3327,1,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,8,7,0,0,1,0,11,7,6,1,0,23,22,12,0,0,4,0,8,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,8,0,5,3,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,2,8,19,3,12,20,4,22,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,1,17,71,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408207648998945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401435211615938,0.15360396315758731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135267321188668,0.08288419671597562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102864082018252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205653393578888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20624694072846134,0.19426964654781026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103712468469048,0.0,0.0,0.11404263500123195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023513354467875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363859467832004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285317723832346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30422449810888713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27457573922096834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995136003794113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472389676182464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285327254497575,0.0,0.0,0.1383272791570319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360396315758731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860119282920189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623811398960988,0.0,0.10858338976024616,0.5683723330992592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994967939826309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865852612908828,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,John1000006,2019/03/27,"How can I stop myself from wanting to grope and feel up a a female coworker? I work at Staples and there is this girl I work with, we talk a lot and we get a long really well. When she took over the cash register and I bent down to pick up something I dropped and then I had a an extremely strong desire to start rubbing her legs and thighs and slide my hands up her shirt and touch her breasts and down her pants to touch her buttocks and genital areas that took every fiber of my being to stop. Other days I see her I feel intense desire to grab her and touch her. Why am I getting this feeling and how can i StoP",4.231104651162788,4.334001751937986,4.877044573643413,88.81696220930235,70.24031007751938,8.000387596899225,26.977713178294568,7.6454224807358475,1.2410224806201544,482,14,108,5,8,155,77,129,0.052000000000000005,0.83,0.118,0.8057,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,2,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,7,0,6,5,5,3,0,28,16,16,0,3,0,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,15,0,3,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,10,24,2,16,12,1,21,0,0,1,1,13,9,0,1,8,76,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129207272273974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152468795808576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30880805831827385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212723994498166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016163913112307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307619134261662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041837667434847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622266731719173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672560855564002,0.0,0.0,0.14409476820541756,0.0,0.0,0.5106052656091259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362966130751702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4523691021329082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007658890004885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830426103242488,0.0,0.18369902557817136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29641691039620793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aussie_mess,2019/03/27,"Thoughts from the depths 18 months ago, I had a life-changing severe depressive episode. It was largely brought on by my career and the bullying that I was subjected to in the workplace. However, I have lived with Major Depression all of my life.

I got to the point of attempting to attempt suicide, but couldn't go through with it. I ended up spending about a month in hospital undergoing a course of electric shock therapy. The treatment was very effective and, by changing careers and working very hard, I have been well and happy since. 

Below is something I wrote early in my hospitalisation, when I was about as far into the depths of hopelessness as one can get. I feel that it is powerful and worth sharing, even though it is full of despair, because I have recovered from that place and am living proof that it is NEVER hopeless, one can recover.

​

​

​

**The carpet has been worn down by countless pacing feet; ancient, unidentifiable stains overlap across its institutional pattern.** 

**The built-in desk is covered in chipped and mismatched veneer.**   
 

**To door has no lock.** 

**The air conditioner whistles and roars ceaselessly through a tiny vent, high off the floor.** 

**The fluorescent light gives the custard yellow walls a pustulent sheen.**   
 

**No sound from the outside world reaches this sad little chamber.** 

**An occasional scream of anguish penetrates from an adjacent room.** 

**This cold, institutional space is strangely free of echoes, as if sound waves lose the will to propagate through the filtered and conditioned air**

**Card readers beep, electronic locks clack, doors slam and footsteps pass by my door**

**These sounds all accompanied by the ever-present hissing shriek from the vent high in the wall.** 

**My eyes are stinging and heavy from crying.** 

**My ears crave silence.** 

**My mind screams for peace.**

**My heart yearns for a warm embrace.** 

**What's left of my soul is reeling and bewildered.** 

**My thoughts flit and dart through snippets of memory like a Willy Wagtail chasing insects through shadowed branches.** 

**A momentary distraction as my evening cocktail of pills is delivered in the finest of disposable plastic cups.** 

**Alone again with my perfidious thoughts.**

**Was I born this way?**

**Did I miss a step in the recipe, a crucial ingredient?**

**Did I stir when I should have folded?**

**Did I whip when I should have beaten?**

**Beaten...beaten**

**Yes, I am.** 

**Beaten by the system, by bullies careless, ruthless and clueless.** 

**Beaten by myself, by expectation, by the need to succeed, to exceed, to live up, to live right...to just live.** 

**Looking back on my life through shit coloured glasses.**  

**Was happiness real or imagined?**

**How did I get so far along the path of this life without realising that I'm doing it wrong?** 

**Has everybody been nudging their neighbour and pointing at the idiot holding the book upside down, looking through the camera with the lens cap on, with his pants on inside out?**

**Have they smiled and humoured the idiot in their midst?**

**How is it so easy for them?** 

**How is it they can go to work, swing a wrecking ball through somebody's psyche, win a promotion and pat on the back and slash another colleague down at the knees, all while booking their next holiday in the Greek Islands?**

**How did I end up here, in this sad little room haunted by the ghosts of anguish past and present?**

**Fighting a pitched battle against my own mind, winner take all, to lose is to die.** 

**I listen carefully, but there are no answers in the air conditioner's white noise.**

**The Rorschach Test of stains in the carpet have revealed no meaning.**

**The screamer has started again, but I can discern no great wisdom within the tormented shrieking.** 

**So, I sit. Alone in this room that has witnessed a thousand little deaths and wait for sleep.** 

​",1.4638906010414594,1.808873740181269,1.714033460353125,88.69895072036924,134.10574018126889,4.1705324204102086,25.985243437732468,5.905405967309908,1.5684940320940055,2984,150,491,47,199,898,358,662,0.151,0.738,0.111,-0.9793,3,2,1,0,2,3,262.0,0,0,6,14,23,40,8,3,53,1,51,11,7,5,6,67,75,41,4,7,7,0,3,1,1,3,4,7,8,0,23,28,1,2,10,5,3,5,8,27,1,3,22,18,44,14,101,49,7,87,1,11,6,0,13,58,1,2,22,334,67,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322934035727451,0.0,0.0,0.14775179933566154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091421410153525,0.34669283200176915,0.0,0.07479525021941011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10969603871541143,0.0,0.04348183028966598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272522786015898,0.0,0.15091440725053795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835215889466816,0.0,0.0,0.12287207002165375,0.0,0.07402880914627691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635361526109645,0.0,0.0,0.09422498721053876,0.06452165969022408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036066362587184674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745334894271876,0.06842580188071787,0.08107645162400905,0.0,0.0570487554639784,0.07864107827887362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518632600282402,0.06389726428910841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452585759637507,0.0,0.15072716705599046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749976240588652,0.0,0.20152867634166735,0.034848014066632425,0.21447283755856109,0.314926487682338,0.0,0.1197977107139113,0.15959903722128665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769878854146126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404501904480085,0.0,0.11386912908095535,0.0,0.0,0.05288995588966292,0.05501374460025598,0.0,0.07585978331483219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666949524211983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809212449374563,0.0,0.0,0.0745241957438622,0.0,0.13485895686064744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118864143615913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060915044093976974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058208587971956,0.07321875579654219,0.05900453904983436,0.0,0.07138106115902218,0.0,0.0,0.054912970752587324,0.0,0.0,0.05048742107296285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802294805295798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053630942883359935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815715543555002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008091856603514,0.16988308012631434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770869436000635,0.0,0.0566180749365226,0.0,0.0,0.06413382981789034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875913869054695,0.0,0.10385752067684988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798766303312668,0.34669283200176915,0.0
mentalhealth,jacobfraser,2019/03/27,"I (M27) am afraid that my partner (F27) may take her own life when her depression/PTSD gets on top of her. We have been together about a year now and she told me upfront that she has struggled with depression and anxiety disorders because of PTSD from several sexual assaults in her past but takes an active approach to dealing with it since she is a psychologist for the school board and deals with these issues in others. 

She has been going to EMDR therapy and counselling for about a year now and confronting these issues has made the symptoms much worse, to the point where she becomes so overwhelmed that I have to make sure she eats, help her bathe and carry her to and from bed. It’s not always that bad but it’s not uncommon for her to cry on and off for several hours a day. When she has severe breakdowns she cries and shakes uncontrollably while telling me that she can’t keep going this way, nothing she’s tried has helped and she would kill herself but she doesn’t have the guts etc. 

I’m in school for a few months right now so I’m at home a lot but I literally can’t comfort her every time her mood is low or she cries, I still have to find time to study, cook for us, clean our home, look after our dogs and when I’m out of the house I’m concerned that she’ll do something drastic. 

Before you ask, yes she has sought professional help and is taking medication and seeing every kind of doctor that could possibly help with this kind of thing, I just don’t know what I should be doing.",6.1905112514804586,6.050466077181213,5.976671930517174,83.43459336754839,66.08053691275168,9.159415712593765,29.274378207658906,8.671277953709913,1.929743150414528,1193,35,245,16,17,372,166,298,0.126,0.768,0.107,-0.7352,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,4,1,0,1,13,16,3,5,12,1,28,7,1,2,1,38,46,24,1,3,8,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,5,1,17,19,2,1,2,2,0,4,6,11,0,0,4,2,39,4,36,36,5,35,0,3,2,0,40,13,0,3,17,168,56,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971791907448562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329100802187759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956528639554398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999365919358321,0.05840219357049387,0.10580973829032013,0.08152349389336362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649296148014552,0.0,0.3157137995306537,0.061786674611584075,0.19754269652878906,0.08251720741752411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098014972132572,0.09806107283826526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980330283069153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068485490258228,0.0,0.0,0.16144066984303426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756456631136154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005446238133054,0.0,0.1088970402168076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568658485600347,0.0,0.192201620572436,0.0,0.09434919973511056,0.11054677855945964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999922731362636,0.0,0.08515640330924752,0.10599468173878032,0.19953354144906568,0.052652242351505237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767031589576793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045255965316014,0.0,0.0,0.08145047980224591,0.0,0.09065355819926588,0.06395096994785585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651404463724288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647110153812932,0.0,0.0704281263239272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192803984904407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145726867562473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056724211954643,0.10800639868610404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22398319699114927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181744358118974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19392072766144,0.07634464488774112,0.0,0.0,0.3246991131589987,0.0,0.07925136748314794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375581768428151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651046156662547,0.0,0.0,0.10015679596022614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029562725119963,0.09957868303181433,0.21610162360528465,0.0,0.08373830149656772,0.0,0.10956203259107522,0.0,0.06364897162564846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173001066006363,0.0,0.0,0.09154633928810664,0.0,0.06504570135509835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524231895243699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604601163298734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976340729888755,0.06805753667799025,0.0,0.0,0.123391307436424
mentalhealth,strawberryxoxo,2019/03/28,"Why do i forget EVERYTHING?!! Ok so when I say I forget everything i mean it. Its not just every now and then its constantly and i feel like an idiot. I forget things like my car keys almost daily at work, ill be doing one project; think about a different thing to do, focus on that thing, leave the original project to do that thing, and then FORGET what i was originally doing. Sometimes i layer that and will start many projects and leaving them unfinished. I forget my stories mid sentence, i forget all the things i want to remind myself about later. Its just getting out of hand like i hope i gave enough examples...i literally cant remember any other ones but i know theres more. Hope this is useful ill try to remember more, but i will forget to check this post lol ",3.4304307692307723,5.467961120000003,4.564666666666671,82.88746153846157,74.46666666666667,7.548717948717949,24.205128205128197,8.384062270229773,1.6308974358974355,608,19,114,11,13,199,95,150,0.13,0.6940000000000001,0.175,0.8405,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,1,8,7,1,0,4,2,11,3,1,3,1,32,22,11,0,3,5,0,2,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,16,6,0,0,6,0,1,1,2,1,0,2,2,3,19,6,11,17,4,15,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,12,83,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457382319819132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897283267167384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727805600112632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15205930957700953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038270060757045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262452237516147,0.0,0.2616056317074407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358987425789253,0.10397447941107142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603913621299906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891099932755623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998549654943915,0.0,0.0,0.3082136902985877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331186091485446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475556735721763,0.0,0.15853675470973094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19724462044778787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393879930347547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32973903588139336,0.0,0.0,0.1157400001844417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394371500110564,0.0,0.10301462919592494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4834546804627317,0.0932567601729594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988127473576694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570064627527666,0.0,0.0,0.08584381955503212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132806443472647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059555405520928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,citytopretty,2019/03/28,"Moved 1500 miles away and I still can’t forget about my past 8 months ago i F22 moved from my hometown/college town to a city 1500 miles away leaving my family, ex boyfriend, friends and everything i was comfortable. I took this job without much consideration because it was such a good opportunity. By the time i was ready to leave, i couldn’t wait to leave because i felt like i was pulling a trap door on my life and escaping all the shitty things i left behind.
 
My ex and i dated for about a year and a half at that point and i loved him so much but he failed to love me back, which i ignored. I started acting crazy trying to get his attention, give my self anxiety and depression and almost even cheated on him. I just felt so lonely and saw the person who i loved so much not love me back.

 I left my family who have gone through a severe disconnect as my mom got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was openly cheating on my dad by leaving once a month to meet with a swingers club. All of this was happening at home and i felt so guilty for being at school and not supporting my dad.

I was working about 40 hours a week in addition to being a full time student so i had no free time and when i did, it was spent either getting blackout drunk or begging my boyfriend to hang out with me. I realized that i didn’t have that many friends in undergrad due to my crazy intense major.

I used to be known as the drunk and stupid in undergrad as i got blacked out almost every weekend. My grades were actually really good but the way i presented myself made me seem stupid. Even though i never cheated on my boyfriend, before we got together i let myself go for anybody in hopes of being accepted into the college culture. I really had no boundaries because after being raped twice in college i figured i was already the scum of the earth so why not. 

Crazy thing is my ex boyfriend and I broke up in November, i have mostly moved on except when i visit the places we went when he visited me. My family and i have gotton much closer when i moved away and my mom and i regularly talk now. My parents came to visit me and they seemed better and were even wearing their wedding rings. I am excelling in my job and my bosses actually said i am their strongest in the program out of about 15 people. I told my old professor this and he said “You must have really grown up in the past few months, i am surprised”. Sucks to hear but i am also surprised at my success. My friends/coworkers look up to me and ask about career life and academic help. But not even my closest friends here know anything about my past. I have even been asked to stay at the current job and get promoted because of all of my hard work and my attitude. I haven’t disrespected myself here at all and only drink about once a month.  I have so much more respect for myself and have higher standards for men.

Thing is, i will be going home in a few months before i move here permanently and i am terrified. I am scared of falling back into my old habits, scared of people thinking i am the same as i was before, scared of seeing my ex and others who facilitated my mental health issues.

I am just having so much trouble forgetting my past as something triggers me everyday to think about it. I don’t know how to move on from my old life.

TDLR: Moved 1500 miles away and completely revamped myself but my past keeps coming back to haunt me",4.381916419386744,5.550427304154304,5.152718842729971,83.12988934223544,70.46884272997029,8.168595450049457,28.581726013847675,8.536127082880203,2.021742927794263,2689,98,530,43,48,872,295,674,0.168,0.7070000000000001,0.124,-0.9879,5,2,2,0,0,0,44.0,2,1,3,8,40,38,7,3,25,0,49,15,1,5,6,98,95,57,0,3,15,9,4,1,3,2,6,4,3,3,17,45,3,3,15,5,2,22,13,16,0,2,33,12,108,23,90,52,18,109,0,4,4,5,49,46,1,7,40,384,125,21,0.0,0.0,0.10251477856976242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656075755858019,0.0,0.10519356235894696,0.0,0.05796328378668225,0.04200468743990103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040181925018092465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04322407696404526,0.0,0.09820865394825626,0.0,0.19739804621248605,0.16155571558725831,0.0,0.12807642444984274,0.0,0.13408619995477053,0.0,0.0,0.046454607164513904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007527067578945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045246136335181465,0.055072071408160415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452402051853836,0.053312358160559764,0.0,0.0,0.06019886541307199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051455071814161854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17346325142254426,0.0,0.04425506665542815,0.0,0.047206604537173964,0.0,0.14854932682263916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15129838206000534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174339870136805,0.0,0.0823273430880025,0.05038732262771428,0.059702995262090074,0.08811192908008841,0.12602851415979194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046448197026091376,0.0,0.04705260270644933,0.0,0.0,0.05583223545393055,0.05920014623094616,0.0,0.03520678915845669,0.0,0.10537487905599734,0.052169752735167566,0.0517271159395376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054823059064492745,0.15637060029842545,0.046687149009619615,0.0,0.0,0.0577333703357193,0.0,0.0,0.2224680209811341,0.11413839296246585,0.05371096438311864,0.11130111180061997,0.02566134527398704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044108258390059385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896255471524684,0.04970097391891303,0.0,0.053252694019430315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052933430606250505,0.0,0.0,0.12303464920564795,0.20962708461717566,0.3907846536955241,0.2316740703253563,0.0,0.040510965482932974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535028172692118,0.11187605714305697,0.0,0.03994807056970537,0.0,0.0,0.058323440732866064,0.0,0.25070804805867264,0.07282924732695557,0.04586331054915099,0.05487805171889525,0.0,0.0496536509752566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094769484541624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992770984975904,0.0,0.1577618065658444,0.053158691281882366,0.04185608684078133,0.09563463082524863,0.05479563546188434,0.059338954716434085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040436757739138185,0.0,0.0,0.03717787595210496,0.05598527965031558,0.041946996128803295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059605405856662574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04221807166172392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468698443513297,0.06731254169369252,0.05160611577470544,0.0,0.09188426449135233,0.0,0.0,0.05019044273285895,0.05835785217297724,0.035661421027523746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045365236673652234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04169236062969084,0.04213285207300317,0.0,0.0,0.048691738996604464,0.047396166221189966,0.0,0.0,0.050632784849842565,0.0,0.07647849579872602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033824751474388084
mentalhealth,BigAssPuppies,2019/03/28,"Advice on getting 15 sister mental help I'm 25 and living about 11 hours from my parents and younger sister. Anxiety and depression run in our family. My mom was medicated for a short time but has refused medication for a number of years now. Around my sister's age, I recognized I had mental issues and addressed my parents. I was met with ""You're making it up"" and ""What do you have to be depressed about?"" along with being barred from speaking to the school counselor. After having my daughter at 23, I finally became medicated under PPD/PPA which I've continued medications as it's something I struggled with even before pregnancy.

Recently, I've recognized these same symptoms in my sister and she opened up about near identical symptoms to mine. After talking to her about how I struggled with them as well, she said she wanted to discuss getting help with our parents. She asked me to initiate the conversation which I did, and we all sat down to discuss the options when I drove in to visit them. Everyone seemed to be on the same page. My mother has made mentions of getting her help when we've spoken on the phone but nothing concrete. Turns out, after speaking with my sister, it has been months and they have done nothing to help her and now are making the same claims of ""You're making it up for attention"". 

This breaks my heart that she's struggling and I can't do much other than discuss it with my parents again. She's coming to visit for a few weeks this summer and I'm trying to see if there are any options I have to get her help myself. Any information is greatly appreciated. Thank you. ",6.03877049180328,7.03153349180328,6.451926229508199,75.96739754098363,66.54098360655738,8.722950819672132,31.97131147540984,8.841846274778883,2.732275409836065,1285,51,222,20,20,416,163,305,0.067,0.841,0.092,0.8341,4,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,3,2,3,0,14,8,0,3,9,0,22,8,1,5,1,43,43,19,0,2,3,12,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,13,24,1,1,3,1,0,5,1,5,1,0,11,4,41,3,55,29,7,41,0,2,1,0,51,17,0,4,18,169,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274753399055638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290877007050549,0.0,0.07260791032949906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449237284963,0.08873050676697405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076366656861776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175883580246407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634962366740491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712858437611656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268890402378911,0.0,0.0,0.09069309555737858,0.0,0.0,0.08947519062023664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397215856687617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19835174951284976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464152141588616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247193618711293,0.31808971186121593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346983236991377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906413778710717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380960059672568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898086354988804,0.19006477397905436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824580006576734,0.19129923621931308,0.0,0.0,0.11116053764127433,0.07575836426783901,0.0,0.06977171168495734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18214247707259232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4215570212659589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371478232084968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902836560584964,0.0,0.0,0.0960566595077398,0.07563308623742611,0.08640490340156483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306838780414418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29766989933332344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19730115012595675,0.0,0.07628718534810347,0.0,0.08738280761864188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534432404516988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644394527893596,0.10323769820416602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055981934572184026,0.0,0.07613319530772171,0.0,0.08533786251725964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112062876191567
mentalhealth,drew07302001,2019/03/28,"depersonalization how can I live a fulfilled life when I suffer from derealization-depersonalization disorder? I’ve been living with it my entire life and I feel empty and so detached from myself and everything around me. Nothing really feels real, I don’t feel in control of anything. I constantly hurt myself just so I can feel real again but it doesn’t really work ",4.764740259740261,7.87683525757576,6.502294372294376,65.23772727272731,75.2121212121212,8.61991341991342,26.095238095238088,9.23628265651192,2.9790329004329013,301,11,45,8,7,103,46,66,0.152,0.8170000000000001,0.032,-0.6365,0,0,0,0,0,2,5.0,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,2,0,15,9,8,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,4,10,0,6,8,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,34,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657734642186189,0.179330266219792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21769231021284075,0.22593959590056836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308753630495432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18104729858396304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074300037217744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156528516016577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845755139343648,0.0,0.0,0.3557622417240722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932935352726538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585808785476727,0.2581038201359974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665559194392785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,meangreenthylacine,2019/03/28,"I can't get angry I'm sorry, this is gonna be a long post, I'm bad at editing.

I don't know if this is where I should post this or how much context I need to give but I basically don't experience anger anymore, I think I know why but I don't know what to do about it. 

When I was 12-15 (I'm 20 now) I had this group of friends, in that group of friends I had one best friend, we'll call her C, who I was basically completely emotionally dependent on. We had a lot of wonderful times but I found myself completely lost in my friendship with C. I was basically a mini version of her and that, compounded by lifelong anxiety and developing depression (5 years later and surprise! it's actually bipolar 2) left me extremely vulnerable. 

The last couple years with this friend group got bad, they started constantly picking on me, leaving me out of things, giving me the silent treatment for days for no reason (at least no reason I was informed of), collectively deciding to skip out on my birthday, hitting me in the face 24/7 as a joke (this one sucked, I was flinchy as hell for years). C had a difficult home life and on a couple occasions when we were alone she'd take her anger out on me by punching or hitting me and follow it up with ""sorry I'm just upset"" or something like that. Whenever I got mad or stood up for myself they'd all mock me and take it as a joke or continue the same shitty behavior towards me. I felt really weak and sometimes still do. 

I've done my best to move past this, after feeling completely alone for around a year I found new friends. My mental health was declining but I had wonderfully supportive friends and a lovely boyfriend who I am still with presently. The biggest lingering effect now is that I basically don't get mad. If I do get angry it's over really, really small insignificant things like being unable to find my phone in a cluttered car. I feel like I was shamed and mocked out of my anger reaction. It all just gets internalized, instead of getting mad I'll get anxious or just cry, I have horrible self confidence, I'll beat myself up over tiny things and hold myself to alarmingly high standards. 

The upside to this is that I think my lack of anger is part of why I'm so understanding, I think it can sometimes lead to me letting things slide that I should have gotten upset over, but ultimately my ability to empathize has been fantastic for my relationships (friends and SO) and I don't want to give that up. In the past I've been a huge doormat but I think that's gotten better. 

TL;DR - Had abusive friends that shamed me out of getting angry and now I straight up can't get mad. 

What should I do? Has anyone else experienced this or something similar?",4.152030956848029,5.5974507673546015,5.303185272045031,80.77466533771107,71.3452157598499,8.782157598499062,29.64770168855535,9.255337874911486,2.563240187617261,2141,87,420,46,40,709,237,533,0.194,0.602,0.203,0.8415,0,2,2,0,0,0,57.0,3,0,2,7,17,42,12,5,18,0,48,6,1,7,2,80,97,36,0,8,18,0,3,3,8,5,4,0,1,1,33,25,0,1,21,2,0,5,9,23,0,2,26,4,66,19,65,59,11,65,1,2,0,1,31,34,2,13,27,284,99,2,0.0,0.08246427224029515,0.06791927454363611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144168613385218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05324358565801167,0.07862785859260757,0.06902420774125274,0.04866573368768797,0.07131312514391172,0.0,0.06195849558061469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622569699409707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608119791059276,0.06155528523482616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106908296890957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189219070562881,0.07521255795006168,0.0,0.0,0.15402150486040336,0.07645201042811386,0.04488605343268813,0.0,0.05994612599793121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712246651721929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058141624693079465,0.0782903029601799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680818689736978,0.0,0.0,0.070383406597038,0.049722044873041285,0.06682663379536362,0.0,0.06361287165833393,0.0,0.0,0.15262497350897866,0.4301804902998964,0.0,0.2909037959549484,0.2002991439956105,0.0,0.0,0.11133048812366017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398123433685977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353591215690677,0.06981418133519479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475053699187512,0.05673305087997677,0.0,0.07369604073189613,0.07562028573579456,0.0711704163406642,0.04916033164430648,0.10200870425546904,0.0,0.0,0.0615935508736899,0.0,0.0,0.07597630233573738,0.059171182322154826,0.0628164532822517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014013503303558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397347429758719,0.0511637931837688,0.05160730114220443,0.0,0.06721983110988068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432512597727508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536970067192661,0.13288159216816475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331456110564086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376206428787715,0.14312018204362742,0.0,0.07472403878393273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260767395007504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716251018071704,0.1376717805564724,0.1558223484440364,0.04926303112525204,0.0,0.11116483247005213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898092316335778,0.0,0.0,0.10466063634826606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849558118661963,0.17838672875492514,0.0,0.0,0.040584149090799035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245574996862587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04105171069059535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560582077255028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095582750051065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792797185975172
mentalhealth,oceanrainfairy,2019/03/28,"Does anyone else actually not feel like an adult when around other adults? I feel like this is unusual, or society wouldn't function as well as it does (lol) but I'm curious if other people experience this. I don't mean feeling like an adult like you have your stuff together, like people usually mean when they ask 'when do you start feeling like an adult' or something, I mean...I'm turning 32 this year. But I don't feel like fellow adults are my peers. I would no more walk up to a group of adults and try to interact with them as equals than I would have when I was 8, or 14, or whenever. They're adults. I'm...not. I feel that same sense of...I don't know the right word, intimidation maybe? that you felt as a kid around adults. They're just on a different level. Even when I'm talking with coworkers, I feel younger than them, not just chronologically, which I am (though not by that much), but in a I'm-a-kid-trying-to-fit-in-with-you-adults kind of way. Chatting with someone near my age on the train, I feel like a kid chatting with an adult. And I don't feel like that can be normal, because other people hang out with fellow adults (I have no friends), date (again, the prospect feels the same to me as it would to a kid contemplating going out with an adult - we're just on a completely different level), and are actually peers of each other. Aren't they?

Does anybody have any idea what I'm talking about?",4.042446808510641,5.098947960992909,4.596234042553191,87.22350000000002,71.16312056737588,8.051347517730497,25.44751773049645,8.395991825355821,1.3609951773049649,1103,32,238,17,20,351,130,282,0.138,0.84,0.022,-0.9771,2,0,1,0,0,0,57.0,0,4,4,0,15,12,0,0,16,1,21,0,0,0,0,51,42,22,0,6,14,0,11,9,3,4,0,0,0,14,16,14,0,0,15,2,0,3,11,0,1,0,2,11,24,12,32,35,6,28,0,0,0,0,32,13,0,5,20,143,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.16907495075075185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891073785338988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06057305957536915,0.08876171898628456,0.0,0.154236476453423,0.0809864858572534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280827666582098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082893111591872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810178790047389,0.0,0.0,0.2274290473375464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236747151381481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057217683343819034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847398527228943,0.0,0.0,0.43802260418796507,0.4332147715973121,0.08317749191012447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692940415303301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049233296527782966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779367486590784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021084497652213,0.047609071015765836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38090328770503895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703054398611232,0.2830933583910178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368233370344425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848780949536027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801730673881298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398075196457264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734005294105938,0.06669128996471789,0.0,0.0,0.06131650122369546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991695586801703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925832912257005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511262088039588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05881545166512061,0.09422755138212556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954096811202654,0.0,0.0,0.06876212306648599,0.0,0.0,0.07788993715535357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184616416252283,0.0,0.0,0.05578628047074012
mentalhealth,lexic1989,2019/03/28,"The system is broken(my opinion)therapists make nothing clients suffer from lack of continuity of care 
I saw a Google review on an agency that treats substance abuse-this person (like many others) wasn’t at the level deemed appropriate enough to treat-ie you’re not high enough to treat. Okay every agency has certain levels you have to be at to get on Suboxone or Methadone but the real message society is sending is “you’re not high enough to get to X level then we cannot help” which alright, I get but what are we doing to stop it from getting to that point?And then I looked at so many agencies and that complaint was consistent.And then I looked at employee satisfaction in mental health in Missouri where I’m from-and I hear the same thing over and over-“underpaid understaffed overbooked” why? And then I moved to Florida and I expected the mental health field to look a bit different-it sure did. FFEs for days. Fee for service. That’s what Florida jobs break down to. A high pay per hour for contract work with no opportunities for full time positions-full time that offers benefits to employees and long term continuity of care for clients is not a priority-so what am I missing? Why is it that someone with their Masters degree is starting off at around $28,000 and not moving far past that? I just feel like there is a bit of a break down in the system based on client satisfaction,therapist satisfaction,continuity of care,etc. 
I just think people should deserve amazing care. Therapists should step up and bring realistic solutions to clients. Clients deserve not to have a new therapist every ten minutes. Clients and therapists deserve their money’s worth-the system is not working",5.903411039657023,7.949871585209002,5.702978295819937,77.25528202036446,67.87459807073955,8.913236870310826,32.25093783494105,9.408791572840183,3.1273246516613087,1377,60,235,29,24,428,170,311,0.062,0.802,0.136,0.9753,4,0,1,0,1,0,32.0,2,1,2,4,6,16,0,0,14,2,21,2,0,1,2,36,40,16,0,4,11,0,1,2,0,2,2,1,0,1,15,13,0,1,2,0,3,5,9,2,0,1,4,6,15,14,45,33,9,52,0,2,4,0,11,26,0,1,18,144,30,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772149255113232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19063265604651775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560600864778135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056305612891767824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27063354670308365,0.09737007335829516,0.0,0.0,0.14711935734222767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04414490184350548,0.06237193953812276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245663486931565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18560592537159146,0.09840102079017464,0.0,0.0585198553128848,0.27673303533528354,0.0,0.0,0.08597953442759365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866384497931869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530730853125773,0.0,0.0,0.07726370145961163,0.2199469727959789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05827791478620786,0.17703062525881266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17596928173998788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855864567957692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432137601045239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377315429545465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334414497236378,0.06052748799298016,0.07623286194678569,0.0,0.0,0.08253307217964638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993741633452196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073974702106961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061796147094401274,0.0,0.0,0.07299232880723712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228555211599309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5068491661949192,0.0580027065680756,0.05594262207394783,0.0,0.0,0.10181850323174964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756147356500708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712066665737098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stardog66666,2019/03/28,Chemical inbalance I feel I have inherited the problem (bi polar) ,6.763636363636363,9.839634454545457,10.154545454545453,41.8518181818182,68.0909090909091,15.30909090909091,47.36363636363637,13.023866798666859,9.1742,53,4,6,3,1,20,10,11,0.252,0.748,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.467205181508577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8841489231863249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whathasmylifegoneto,2019/03/28,"I think I have IED (Intermittent explosive disorder) Hello. I’m 17, and I have extreme anger issues. I have problems with my moods in general but my anger is extremely bad. I’ve been this  since I was kid. I’m extremely quick to anger even if the person has done nothing too severe to cause my anger.  My anger hits abnormal highs, and it ends up in distraction until I’m in too much pain/too much destruction has been done. It can last sometimes for several hours or sometimes just minutes. How would I go about to get a diagnosis?

Also, I have extreme mood problems. For the past couple months I’ve been in a depressive phase (most likely due to a trauma that occurred 6 months ago). However throughout my past I have been going through different moods, sometimes daily I’ll go through extreme cycles of different emotions. Other times, that same mood will last for weeks and then change. I remember as a kid(like 7 years of age) my parents talking about me having bipolar disorder (although my memory isn’t the best on this and I could be overthinking).  Like I just don’t know. All I know is that for sure I have some form of mental disorder and I don’t know what but I want a diagnosis.",3.4789661654135315,5.7929092149122825,4.481127819548874,82.2728947368421,75.27192982456141,8.027067669172935,28.401002506265662,8.841846274778883,2.502463408521304,943,40,174,21,21,306,130,228,0.224,0.711,0.065,-0.9921,4,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,10,20,6,1,8,0,26,1,0,2,2,30,39,15,0,6,6,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,9,6,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,12,0,0,7,0,23,4,24,27,8,27,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,4,19,117,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867378914778056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901834697273793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294314743382938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681793842375665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435088769170502,0.11775622137016828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888757517554553,0.1231676281962653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587521126237007,0.0,0.0,0.2326003951863704,0.38272896302631937,0.0,0.0,0.22782722675727965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521408533324144,0.09859180816915483,0.0,0.0,0.07352232735570001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058157350516630124,0.0,0.1897881738254752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761012068832995,0.0,0.0,0.10962258346031033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161836545240918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835269884987416,0.18147271898318426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876550578576992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217906332254936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17770070618936815,0.0,0.1636582647775214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680948274057726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844671781009952,0.0,0.12360183113445446,0.0,0.2125250049092841,0.0,0.09719572601567664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130263207320163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260978861927916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515079140871978,0.0,0.09208069247705664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302793339683191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491281285094096,0.0,0.0,0.08947056104346311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132598237612463,0.0,0.0,0.0649085124886663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565631005543801,0.0,0.08928995960633848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907478829213384,0.0,0.0,0.07168303459755017
mentalhealth,LizMeyers,2019/03/28,STRESS | How it Literally Shrinks Your Brain & Decreases Your Memory YouTube Link: ,4.453333333333333,7.258319571428577,3.93,75.19833333333334,103.28571428571428,10.438095238095238,33.23809523809524,8.841846274778883,5.188123809523812,70,4,11,3,3,21,13,14,0.227,0.773,0.0,-0.5473,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5608398173049189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.577833833310987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5929306539609128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,indubitablyEphemeral,2019/03/28,"I think I'm having anxiety again. Almost 2 years ago, I broke up with a girlfriend of \~15 months. I'm aware it's insignificant compared to experiences most people go through and probably compared to what I'm going to go through in the future (as I'm very young) but, nonetheless, it was the hardest thing I've ever done.

I'm not educated enough to say anything with certainty, but I think she was abusive as I distanced myself from family and my own friends in order to accomodate her. Around 10 days after I broke up, she pulled a stunt with my former two best friends (at a party which I sadly attended) and that managed to hurt me more. Of all people whom I've considered friends before, no one asked me if I was doing well.

After that, I've lost any faith I had in people, as seemingly the only thing keeping the idea of people possibly being decent was extinguished; not only that, it seemed like my skepticism of people from before wasn't enough...

I had no friends and I had no reason to get out of my house and I started getting panic attacks and anxiety. When I finally did start going out with my sister, I would get palpitations and mind-numbing panic attacks if I heard her name or saw her. My body would get tense if I saw anyone who looked like her.

After a bit over a year of this without much improvement, I decided to seek therapy. I had weekly sessions for 2-3 months and they helped. After this I had a relatively big thing happen which put me away from my town for some time and I'm still not back. I was fine for the last 8 months, but last few days I could feel the familiar feeling in my gut.

My therapist explained to me how depression can make us 'focus' on things which confirm our negative beliefs or something along those lines and I'm wondering if that's happening again.

​

Sorry for not being more short and concise, I'm just feeling a certain way and don't really have anyone to tell.",6.2435662475822085,6.3471010984042575,6.8610928433268885,76.3127272727273,65.94148936170212,9.92147001934236,32.516441005802704,9.688023934748609,3.0058180851063816,1527,58,284,29,22,503,202,376,0.18,0.706,0.114,-0.9777,0,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,2,0,1,2,10,22,3,2,13,0,23,2,2,3,3,61,60,26,0,7,15,1,3,2,5,2,0,2,0,0,20,20,0,1,13,0,0,7,11,11,1,2,17,8,43,11,51,38,12,53,2,6,3,0,24,16,0,12,30,201,63,2,0.0,0.1003065027684468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504467000119927,0.0,0.08477327890923687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917274710793826,0.1028693681696803,0.05757069668276413,0.0,0.1295270722003104,0.0,0.0,0.11839041122313546,0.0,0.06966674860889291,0.07536403147263719,0.07914428816516028,0.192622576463142,0.07953946635350463,0.06509717624224537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407633029682487,0.0,0.08884389375279626,0.0,0.09242517750511776,0.09403653085289652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759293951515058,0.0,0.0,0.10919548358569177,0.0,0.0729162592479774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663505879804867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494976367370746,0.0,0.0,0.07657847815623267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281227728284392,0.07980851826619348,0.0,0.12841767428880738,0.0,0.0,0.09273927061389653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616278502735254,0.0,0.1769223302503632,0.0,0.19245355155099145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972649934177767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056744821449136874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768456564077173,0.09062869663814486,0.0955691644400965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524838242409733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801598608843688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271975323641688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109183502963977,0.0,0.0924147751934216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05651021950225594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548097179610921,0.0,0.20272086898865924,0.0,0.062233753154062585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736680415006699,0.12877323867921953,0.0,0.19865706510928885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934577914250418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095439761154155,0.0,0.0,0.09127620325517684,0.0,0.0,0.08510519546734457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05423441573464408,0.08704305844443562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067323853069718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413987416200786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651742647579165,0.0,0.09476828207519312,0.11984347242035365,0.0,0.06760840345149269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399527797898219,0.0,0.09681439571414294,0.0982950668062982,0.22497343578000567,0.10849152254427284,0.0,0.0,0.049365063833572746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269907270237335,0.0,0.10183377586393512,0.0,0.0,0.06985214517980043,0.0,0.0671979926677454,0.06790795824251371,0.0,0.07611817658387025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160779225977062,0.09180855367868188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202779673112686,0.0,0.1028693681696803,0.10903462251765976
mentalhealth,throwaway_158,2019/03/28,"I'm not in control of myself I don't know what to do, it feels like I can't control my own body - I just spent an hour straight washing my hands and whenever I tried to stop myself I just went back because I couldn't think about anything else. I broke down earlier today because I can't enter a room without using my left foot first and I don't understand what's happening to me",2.064535714285718,3.806746525000001,3.6171428571428565,89.48500000000001,77.5,6.571428571428572,26.42857142857143,7.447530270364453,1.3328571428571432,302,12,64,4,7,100,54,80,0.073,0.863,0.064,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,2,0,6,4,3,3,0,15,15,2,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,3,4,0,1,2,7,1,0,1,2,2,15,1,8,12,1,12,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,6,42,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805743408487158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873013203253806,0.0,0.2675281642512403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437401617490465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4922246608488018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330778836156728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095172063700233,0.1567627001585438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866492656471279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940435320012621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609691914431886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059442358964885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23841417240526866,0.0,0.0,0.10720368909198452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345548718569066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060355594523113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20799645633990715,0.0,0.0,0.14898033799843044,0.0,0.0,0.2284370853229427,0.0,0.18951932083141668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034162275206788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211525205204509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jakeyninja,2019/03/28,"Do I have a mental disorder? Theres some weird things that I have been experiencing for over a year now, such as

\-I never feel much emotion

\-I have extreme anxiety that interferes with my daily life

\-I am extremely antisocial 

\-I constantly feel like my friends purposefully dont include me/dont like me

\-I have fantasies of harming others

\-I rarely get over 4 hours of sleep a day

\-I sometimes love touch with reality

\-I get lost in thought, and have trouble paying attention

\-I have random episodes of depression

\-I dont truly care for anyone, including my family and friends

\-I tend to have an extremely inflated ego

\-My dreams have been extremely realistic lately, and sometimes I get them mixed up with reality",9.41302197802198,9.517660500000003,8.89901098901099,64.33884615384618,59.384615384615394,12.96703296703297,40.87912087912088,12.28987398476788,5.4130659340659335,595,29,95,18,7,190,84,130,0.161,0.715,0.124,-0.5162,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,1,3,11,0,0,4,0,14,3,1,0,1,14,24,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,4,2,1,0,3,5,0,0,4,4,20,6,14,20,2,11,0,2,0,1,4,4,0,2,9,65,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961909670255705,0.0,0.0,0.10933431759234802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15942493810246794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897543866528314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084274189660901,0.0,0.13467728279511942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920828581478254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5497772237686123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589001951931973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740737518420816,0.0,0.15812608065248934,0.11170746711387652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24161502757935374,0.0,0.2450833903471325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398841347023315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638697269800355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104455004713834,0.15278446418207375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706912963108028,0.0,0.14112587097241575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575795373575599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494655457333862,0.0,0.12059862974297482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647831697203718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092987413990944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388221826112776,0.0,0.0,0.1241366548706338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069418565021414
mentalhealth,dumbdirtydarla,2019/03/28,"persistent dread and worry When I (18F) was about 13, I developed an eating disorder and about a year later I was hospitalized for about three months for treatment before I was released. That’s honestly really just some background info I felt like I should include. One thing I can’t really seem to let go of is my constant worry. First of all, I’ve never been diagnosed with anything other than my eating disorder and I in no way feel like I need another diagnosis, but some support and coping strategies would be helpful right now because this entire week has been a chaotic hell. I’m not sure if this is going to make sense, but it’s the little things that I’m unfamiliar/uncomfortable with that really fill me with an intense dread. For example, I just got hired for a new job today and while I completely understand that it’s normal for anybody to be nervous when first starting out, I feel like my chest has been sinking and the thought of going in to work makes me want to just outright go quit my job. It’s the same thing with driving in places I’m unfamiliar with or even just going to the grocery store sometimes. I can’t seem to do anything alone with having to tell myself to “suck it up” first. On weeks like this where I have a lot to do, my mind is constantly thinking of what I have to do next and what I have to do in the upcoming days, etc. It’s just tiring. I can’t relax. Back when I went to see my therapist, she suggested maybe I try some meds to help with my worries, but of course I opted not to do that because a side effect of the meds is weight gain. I’m obviously not in a very healthy place right now and considering I’m about to start college and have so many new things and experiences thrown at me, I feel a sense a hopelessness. Am I just overreacting about all of this too? ",6.792100877192983,6.042718675000002,7.237807017543862,76.91842105263156,65.02777777777777,10.578947368421053,33.11403508771929,9.93914555978268,2.9929166666666664,1433,51,285,27,19,471,182,360,0.134,0.773,0.092,-0.9498,2,1,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,0,8,21,14,2,3,16,0,31,6,1,3,5,61,61,20,0,6,14,0,5,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,21,18,3,0,11,1,1,8,8,6,0,5,10,6,34,8,50,46,8,50,1,1,1,0,5,16,2,8,29,202,55,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078934669688572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191917707917012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427345922244858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740514657004731,0.0,0.10687347248381868,0.0,0.07459222290067384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190986605925906,0.18945868561396328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653346274568662,0.0,0.0,0.08897307786963388,0.0,0.0,0.20093196117605866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793961752586947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776409725487184,0.05789861828980428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574832289617851,0.0,0.0,0.1329706241851435,0.12524867554617158,0.08416736877425178,0.0,0.0,0.22369071172854055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24909605529483425,0.0,0.07010972809445683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751333092042908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397809284634505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963831241754566,0.0,0.17130503696166174,0.08785837191705098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452541659614198,0.0,0.0,0.11702749176340385,0.08887350429123862,0.08806627516754002,0.0,0.1947410474915444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851163392134384,0.0,0.06996939383944323,0.0,0.0,0.06499879613839153,0.0676088136193824,0.16932519244627214,0.09322742868361954,0.0,0.08588821031698197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05940070007953833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317213259312315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323722448782694,0.0,0.0,0.1684717657244024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972236093694255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985368875612863,0.15960478487600244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669800396790604,0.0,0.12409243058249635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947555500666838,0.08261853403495907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661872366174778,0.0,0.0,0.10178004281684018,0.2329496959543595,0.05616900302626755,0.0,0.06959226634970267,0.0,0.10075230084918496,0.08309145175645483,0.0,0.0,0.05951540129716061,0.0,0.0,0.09125717518704976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232869927499436,0.05170415261510529,0.06958044582651025,0.14063116536962114,0.1067462919707132,0.0,0.08126171932416522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381754059311595,0.2670690246862788,0.0,0.06227116507783394,0.0,0.0,0.05645018060893341
mentalhealth,greenimpression,2019/03/28,"Anybody else very over-dramatic when tired? Lose out on sleep and become a general cunt to people? End-of-the-world persona, toxic, very jealous, petty, unwilling to work anything out with people who try to help, seeing other people in a very unfair light? Very hard to accept kindness from others, maybe because of the overwhelming desire to hole up somewhere and temporarily remove myself from the world until I get enough sleep. Which, you know, rarely happens ha. Very puerile, and I know so, and knowing so just makes things worse. How is it that some people can deal with simple tiredness, they manage not to revert back to a two year old tantrum. Shouldn’t be a struggle.",7.003934426229511,8.236420991803278,6.1230737704918035,78.32510245901642,64.49180327868852,7.739344262295082,30.004098360655732,7.6454224807358475,2.049554098360656,539,18,87,5,8,163,92,122,0.22,0.698,0.08199999999999999,-0.9519,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,2,6,9,3,2,6,1,4,3,2,2,0,20,11,9,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,6,0,1,0,3,5,3,18,9,2,12,0,2,1,0,5,6,1,1,5,54,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412429595241345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663866988889588,0.0,0.08453987219090425,0.15316448244053596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429760878470475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585185464907458,0.0,0.12283197848240625,0.14329661570968116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724561457986059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263692266398288,0.0,0.12423273170341866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295629444663796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444170078264396,0.2286496568106455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515080803401246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257198223813863,0.0,0.13932571804701258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552448398389148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3845813333548686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051239905020277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27756631894444617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449815873663663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213482572054202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939571230866942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415665650452452,0.0,0.13547314373834668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5721400128893698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096287881161008,0.0,0.14132982936666694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930730784583138
mentalhealth,foxesaresuperb,2019/03/28,"I have terrible anxiety and have to take medication for panic attacks. I'm 25 years old and just found out I'm getting laid off. I'm not mentally equipped to handle this, and I'm having a hard time coping. To make matters worse, I'm 100% financially independent. I don't live with anyone. I don't have a partner to help split the bills and support me. I've been freaking out all day; I feel like I'm going to puke. Now I'm thinking about asking my doctor to prescribe me daily clonazepam again just until I find a good job. I can't handle the anxiety and stress. I don't have a college degree, and I feel lucky I landed this job(with the recommendation of a friend). I'm not sure how I'll find a job that pays as much. 

fuck.",1.4993999999999978,3.623100806666667,3.5713333333333352,87.26900000000002,80.93333333333334,6.133333333333333,23.333333333333336,7.3011,0.9641333333333336,571,20,119,8,15,194,90,150,0.212,0.69,0.098,-0.9429,3,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,6,12,2,2,9,0,10,3,0,3,2,26,29,9,0,0,4,0,3,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,6,0,2,1,6,6,0,0,2,3,12,6,15,27,2,12,0,0,0,1,4,4,1,1,8,64,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476329946817211,0.0,0.0,0.11317082820897427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130996754086107,0.1841302541723102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438128549769987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566259479876042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367468058476928,0.11562725088329392,0.0,0.0,0.29585997476274184,0.0,0.0,0.17746259378550913,0.1250466156510924,0.1496297597304974,0.08456109931638851,0.0,0.09198434060565217,0.13575395439280988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449877887946002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848612440184263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818400314898078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907281414339655,0.0,0.14291846635348088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080376067161001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304907346363365,0.16310895923852328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897999701553195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983666751102303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898986949678654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540115926400969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836679694272828,0.15254379211297253,0.0,0.12169271886892476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370836061078416,0.0,0.0,0.09437732500320227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16494122901128572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422751645417956
mentalhealth,millionairennial,2019/03/28,"I'm lost and broken I feel very weird and not really like myself. 



Just a backstory I was depressed a couple years ago and now face new problems after coming out of it. 



One of them being anxiety more specifically social anxiety this has tagged on to me ever since my darkest days. 



I'm now in the stage where I need to make moves and make things happen, before I get into this I'll give more context. 



I'm a 19 guy in my last year of high school and will graduate high school soon, this was supposed to be ""my year"" the one where I stopped bullshitting and became my best self, and well it hasn't really been that way.



While I have met new ""friends"" and have learned more I'm still living the same shitty day over and over again, making excuses, lying to myself, etc... 



As you can see I'm a hot mess and I'm beginning to feel a little defeated just typing this. Currently I'm trying to learn why I'm so sensitive or what western culture calls a ""snowflake"". I'm debating whether or not if I'm too sensitive or if there are people in life and mine who are dicks. 




What makes mean things mean? Why are some people assholes? Why are some so emotional? Why am I so emotional? What's the difference between me being too sensitive and someone being disrespectful towards me? It's like I have no grounding, no identity, no principles. 




I'm also pretty lost on the idea of God, I consider myself agnostic. Currently I'm beginning to lean more towards agnostic atheism, but I don't consider myself as such yet. 




I live in a devoted Christian household, so they're at I think they are under the impression that I'm Christian too. I guess you could say I'm an in the closet agnostic. I'm also bi so that's another issue in it's self entirely. 




I just want to know why I'm so fucked up and such a loser why do I care what everyone thinks of me? 




Why do I overthink all the time? Why am I socially awkward? Why do I lie to myself and others? Why don't I give up? Why can't i be myself without being ridiculed or judged harshly?  




Some of these are dumb questions, but i just don't get other people, i really don't. 




Maybe this has to do with me being a covert narcissist, like i was studying a while back. 




Am I a sympathy hor for posting this or wanting to talk about my problems Even though I don't really care that much about others? 




Also why am I so selfish? And arrogant? 




Most people more than likely won't be able to answer these considering we don't actually know each other, so I guess I'm just rambling now. 





I wonder should I just quit now, I'm starting to realize how weak I am. No wonder I'm so lame. Enough of my pity party, I guess this is it. 


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mentalhealth,VersionGeek,2019/03/28,"So I just cried for half an hour just because I'm creating bad scenario in my head So I got in bed like 45 minute ago and I bean crying for 30 minutes because I couldn't stop to think that no one love me, even if I know it's not true. 
Then I started to almost insult myself because of that, I was like ''I'm a total piece of trash, not able to do anything else than drinking soda and eating bad food'' or thinking that people are too nice to me and I could never be as kind for them as they are to me 

I had no real reason be like that, I have been with close friends all day and was feeling good but now I'm still lying in my bed feeling really cold 

I had no idea to who I could say all of this but writing it here helped me calm down a bit, even to I'm still shaking of cold 

I think some sentence looks weird but English isn't my first language, sorry about that ",2.6365139116202947,3.1706068085106374,3.921276595744682,92.70653846153849,74.0,6.210147299509004,24.036006546644845,5.369823440869387,0.2598309328968904,672,18,157,2,13,221,115,188,0.156,0.7190000000000001,0.125,-0.7907,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,1,12,15,1,1,3,0,15,6,1,1,5,36,29,14,0,4,9,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,9,6,4,1,8,1,0,1,8,5,0,3,6,6,23,10,23,18,6,17,0,0,1,1,9,5,0,4,14,108,32,0,0.140564830619447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460224114757658,0.0,0.14075537331766128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567287870003486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347315243406817,0.2570610482100797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346038906448936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22445915877052305,0.0,0.30880773203902223,0.09065268711124433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770002041714147,0.0,0.1438329137721288,0.11742387909743834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856834898513078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214760372357074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956437311732462,0.1699715511415098,0.0,0.10860003945044633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789911087037445,0.11242253588802377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426006917016812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421764298475208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842804353124571,0.0,0.0,0.15868058415936806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14637664039123882,0.07725075482054725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20601862811044394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803905556311126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686524765144694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841226292065276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952503670741468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744995478877833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999355080269398,0.09004942986301423,0.14452405691627193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178279516777084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573508196662876,0.09949251059565732,0.0,0.22451051061536856,0.11751849247432608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702048031055341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cyansan,2019/03/28,"i can't move on from my r*pe trauma because of my friends [massive tw for selfharm and molestation/abuse]
i'm going to keep this short & sweet;
i opened up about my emotional and sexual torture that i experienced from ages 7-10 (this is a rough estimate and it changes a lot in my head, the memories are foggy because of the repression). everyday i went to a home daycare where the daycare provider's adopted daughter would molest and emotionally scar me for years. she would have skype vid calls with older men and cam for them, cut herself at times, have full on mental breaks, hurt me, etc. 

i told my friend about this and god was i dumb. she then proceeded to tell all of my friends and the news spread like wildfire around my grade. i was deemed a lesbian (i'm afab and closeted) and earned the nickname ""scissors"". for around 4 months i was tormented about my trauma all school day, especially at lunch. i relapsed into cutting (breaking a 1 year clean) and was harassed about that too. an onslaught of hannah baker and lesbian jokes were thrown at me 7 hours a day. i couldnt handle it, i'd have panic attacks, missed 20+ days of school. it still haunts me

i can't get over it
thanks for reading
i needed to get it off my chest.",5.156229253112034,6.022674195020747,5.217984958506225,84.48017245850625,68.46058091286308,8.18267634854772,30.830134854771785,8.278499904357787,2.1135744813278,975,38,193,13,16,305,151,241,0.14800000000000002,0.757,0.095,-0.9231,0,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,0,0,1,1,9,20,7,2,12,0,15,5,2,0,2,26,26,12,0,4,0,1,1,1,3,2,0,0,3,1,10,16,1,2,0,2,0,3,3,13,0,0,7,3,29,7,33,16,5,35,0,2,0,2,12,16,1,1,15,119,39,5,0.0,0.16542832455005574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512795425726806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24858498928302514,0.0,0.15883930361111326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022360975670225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256888472376253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770074646895084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701324251087806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141101787566681,0.0,0.0,0.1557145768034182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32361304400892377,0.0,0.1458926583073734,0.0,0.07934996163778943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432916610016454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005147604360535,0.0,0.13749878535967122,0.0,0.14946741265233054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241017629560512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821187962600915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187009754318413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070535890280975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144433239634564,0.14839526963310598,0.0,0.10352737167955513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638154283821706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396590118267467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826082742023413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150169330799237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203510762344368,0.12854446835135758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141426104891948,0.0,0.0,0.13341406701465394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943027747591646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19836582936723235,0.0,0.0,0.1798229867776651
mentalhealth,louro360,2019/03/28,"Mental Health Support Improvement Research Survey Hello guys, I'm doing a huge research on mental health and how I to improve the support methods that already exist and possibly even come up with new ones, to help each and everyone of us. However, for me to make that possible I need your help. You can help me by completing my very short survey and passing it on to your friends and family. The survey is totally anonymous and is solely going to be used for research purposes.  

​

Link to survey: [https://forms.gle/o5NhMLfZkDqqEXJz8](https://forms.gle/o5NhMLfZkDqqEXJz8) 

​

Thank you in advance!",11.007585034013607,12.686962071428573,8.600408163265309,62.49340136054426,55.83673469387754,10.61496598639456,39.802721088435376,10.504223727775694,4.738892517006803,505,23,64,10,6,148,67,98,0.0,0.753,0.247,0.9766,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,1,4,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,3,1,15,14,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,4,15,13,2,11,0,0,0,0,11,6,0,0,1,47,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15204943047636713,0.0,0.0,0.29858048402088744,0.33484827803052475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11868977758987982,0.1444651949599958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100584668198768,0.0,0.0,0.13165969445370404,0.0,0.0,0.12989165477094433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645252895450708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830652297704856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642904288712931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929185183584468,0.0,0.0,0.2770636111721554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919727127138832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777102141576709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216600413978943,0.0,0.13307383628770525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336683955363304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106642944029729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127140983651649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685413019449182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657386698299727,0.1190022018945598,0.0,0.1136872469733333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33484827803052475,0.0
mentalhealth,ppkkmmaann,2019/03/28,"Conversations with yourself Does anyone else have conversations with different versions of themselves? Like where you talk out loud and the other voice is in your head/thoughts? 

I have started having more intense conversations like that and can clearly recall one of the more resent ones truly felt like I was talking to a different person. 

I have no idea what to do. A few days ago I was having a conversation with the other ""me"" and I upset him so in retaliation he have gave me a head ache. (I'm aware this is can't possible be someone else and it is all in head) In anger I told him to leave me alone and can't tell if he left or is just giving me the silent treatment. 

I know it is just me talking to myself. It is driving my crazy trying to think about it. I end up in a loop of does thinking about make it worse? should I ignore it? is that worse or better? 

I'm trying to just manage until my appointment with a psychiatrist and would appreciate anyone's thoughts on this.",3.5388665803108807,5.387630694300518,4.643908678756478,83.25270239637308,73.66321243523315,7.104792746113992,25.015867875647675,7.8658589789855275,1.366357772020725,776,25,151,11,16,254,108,193,0.139,0.746,0.115,-0.5952,2,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,1,7,8,2,1,10,0,22,2,2,1,2,29,34,11,0,3,6,0,1,3,0,2,0,2,0,1,13,11,0,1,6,0,0,1,3,4,0,2,6,3,21,4,24,25,5,16,0,0,0,0,18,10,0,3,8,111,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628807517281968,0.0,0.0,0.1358686667532822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834559741529544,0.1344150992064229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602295867446212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460382731739903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741219575560264,0.0,0.0,0.22960271844984734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21917738804383585,0.0,0.1161914597464992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259587010540929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584513372912207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039026653195061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809251847514154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209614771767353,0.0,0.0,0.1389065562069832,0.1425334843856952,0.0,0.0,0.19227190050565507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756737358437129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777894481598974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145461625727182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478919971184225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115309116595004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285380780252024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163259286453766,0.11466195331282095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811680735008147,0.0,0.20829334694612908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535341526891128,0.0,0.17813275499225836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26737856676612565,0.09319045112799633,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rosarevolte,2019/03/28,"Feeling alienated. Hey,

I just need to vent. I do hope someone will take the time to read and perhaps comfort me. This is going to be a bit long, I'm sorry.

​

I feel alienated. I feel dehumanised, like a stranger to myself. I feel like I've forgotten who I am. 

​

I just moved out of the country to study overseas. In fact, I plan on staying here since it's a better place to live. I grew up alone, with my parents and my sibling. We'd go to the ""hometown"" once a year but I never really enjoyed it as I kind of was the black sheep. My whole life was dedicated to ""studying well, so that i could get in a good university and have a good job"". That's what I was thought since a very young age. Age 10 and my father would already tell me that I need a good job to live well.

​

Imagine yourself, age 10, wanting to be i don't know, a singer, but already knowing it won't be possible. Quite frustrating. Anyways, as the years went by, I started showing interest in art and history, and decided that I wanted to be a teacher. But my parents were against it: ""teachers are not paid well"",""yeah we all had this dream""... etc. I stuck to the idea though, so in high school we had to choose from 3 categories and I chose Literature and Philosophy. My parents were really mad. I didn't tell them, they expected me to go into science or economy. But I didn't want to. I had the best two years of my life, loved my teachers, the classes, everything. And then came the college applications: I found out that even if I wanted to, I couldn't become a teacher because of a nationality problem. So I gave up. Told my parents I'm going to law school (since it was the only thing left), they were really happy. I got into law school, moved to the west, here I am.

​

I started university, and I hated it. I'm still in it, and I still hate it. The first thing I got when I got there was a fucking flyer of a far right group: i'm a gay woman of color. It's the last thing I wanted to see. I hated the classes, hated the subjects, I hate law in general, and I spent 3 weeks crying because I don't want to be no lawyer. But I'm in a really well known university, I can't just leave, it costs so much and I've worked so hard to get here. So I called my parents and told them I was thinking of going into History (which is in the same university, so I would just transfer). My dad told me he didn't immigrate and work his ass off so that I would be a working class person. Great. 

​

So I told myself that I was just here to study for a job. That's it. I started doing things after class, like going to political discussions, or meeting people from dating apps. It's great, I do enjoy it. But I still can't feel good. The gov is passing on reforms that are really bad for foreigners, so I tried to join the far left groups in my university, but I was so disappointed. I found myself with white bourgeois art students who clearly didn't care and didn't do much except argue on who is the most radical . I felt excluded so I left. Now i'm in a marxist organisation that isn't in university, but I don't do much, I only go there to listen. I like it, I like how it gives me hope, but again, I feel empty. 

​

Now I just don't care about anything anymore. I go to university systematically, as if it was programmed. I don't even do any political action in my university (i used to think it was really important) and honestly, I don't want to do anything anymore with anyone in my university. I'm constantly loosing faith, I'm starting to not believe in religion anymore and as ramadan is coming, I'm worried that I won't have enough faith to do it. I'm still a marxist, but I feel very much alone and I used to be constantly hopeful for a change and now I don't know, I'm quite tired of waiting for people to get toghether.

​

 I feel like my whole life was dedicated to making money and consuming. I used to be a talented person, I knew how to sing, play guitar, compose music, paint and draw, I had everything to start a career. Now I'm empty, no ambitions, no nothing. And it's not as if I'd be willing to give up and go do what I like, cause I don't even know what I like anymore. It's like I have become a complete stranger to myself. I don't know. I have no one to talk to, so that's why I'm on the internet. 

​

Anyways, thanks for reading.

​

​",2.13738839285714,3.9875311763392856,4.120633928571428,85.46811607142858,77.63839285714286,6.98,26.490178571428572,7.908726449838941,1.6062672321428573,3418,137,708,56,80,1165,321,896,0.124,0.726,0.151,0.9801,9,2,0,0,0,0,176.0,3,0,4,9,47,50,9,0,44,0,76,8,1,7,4,123,172,62,0,22,25,7,10,9,0,7,4,1,0,3,45,36,0,1,25,9,4,17,28,12,3,3,41,15,109,38,95,112,13,88,3,1,4,4,41,37,2,9,42,477,154,22,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700196069690176,0.07460509378107277,0.0,0.0,0.36625630464033015,0.4107445043797921,0.022987258205724018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409431592371504,0.023635904276652884,0.0,0.0556341205127482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028224165552185387,0.04121209597264231,0.07466570727343252,0.0,0.03808450330047297,0.03547425414966133,0.02989608332773368,0.03690421590218647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03451673107124283,0.03866172609530775,0.06892899977390017,0.034725081669391734,0.035759183743133166,0.029118366179358868,0.03544189341691298,0.07305825620623957,0.0,0.026989014256341832,0.0,0.03713110361867876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034927624836281736,0.037699377264611096,0.06697986015203365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076006962516271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367348509872112,0.04829786397963895,0.03245626439446353,0.0,0.0,0.028752888394392592,0.0,0.07412667991888412,0.0,0.03125040908420389,0.052982153102566175,0.06485400212748994,0.17289965917210118,0.11340970184580175,0.0811062495405138,0.0745360451441547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03598401450277501,0.03028092620215522,0.16686774987936767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035714817160492664,0.0,0.10072227730402028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0381595705119808,0.0,0.0,0.10063304334861622,0.0,0.0,0.03520071318055185,0.0928864624898843,0.02755402740924576,0.0,0.035792588178899444,0.11018145826145632,0.0,0.07162835972494347,0.14863032691384084,0.0,0.05969748995490765,0.0299146681287576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030508605630120436,0.0,0.022563822948305674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185466343648493,0.09939663302994388,0.05012912114308219,0.026071024462130558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03243497349344214,0.0,0.0,0.035999184266938204,0.022905846470841696,0.05141754152842784,0.0,0.0,0.1876716380288162,0.0,0.0,0.04686960841304905,0.05903110315872125,0.03531703112334216,0.0,0.0,0.038107901400470864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032344988895464014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190748750859383,0.06762446886274721,0.0,0.12993073802792002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028867651461021358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263158561614684,0.02693668370789139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388678822661774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028641245780985744,0.0,0.0,0.03783978821342897,0.11962999423029418,0.03602959292336578,0.10798075524984996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02541571445461463,0.02716964076061061,0.05909077565206638,0.031121340770649757,0.0,0.0,0.08982907547916029,0.043319306271379115,0.03321136118873065,0.02683587510634945,0.019710851771299116,0.038851675683035485,0.0,0.12920119228506646,0.0,0.02295007706875311,0.0,0.03302070405815569,0.0,0.0,0.0875850413054758,0.0,0.055782173570691575,0.13956555496560105,0.0,0.027114797289078747,0.0,0.12157213861239738,0.03133580015561368,0.03050202813567672,0.07547987854915313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382714942830264,0.03432867552284735,0.0,0.07203822909107314,0.0,0.4107445043797921,0.06530423893395787
mentalhealth,graciebxo,2019/03/28,"I think I have psychosis or schizophrenia but I'm scared to go to the doctor because I feel like they won't believe me. So I've suffered with anxiety for years, its been fine, ive learnt to cope pretty well with help from my doctors, medication and my psychotherapist.over the last could of months something inside me just changed and to start with I though it was just my anxiety getting worst, but when reaching out to other people they told me what is was experiencing was derealization. now I have heard that people experience waves of derealization that last maybe an hour or so, but I swear down I have been like this for at least two months permanently. I am convinced that I have psychosis and/or schizophrenia, but I have already gotten so much support from my doctors, that I feel like if I go to talk to them about it they are going to think I'm crazy or im just exaggerating. I know that I need help but I don't know what to do. I have heard so much about people having to be forced into hospital against their will and I don't want that to happen to me, which is why im so scared about going to get help. 

I couldn't work out what was wrong with me so last month I decided when I smoked weed that I would have more than normal and sit at my desk and try to write down what's going on in my head without my brain stopping me. when I read it the next morning, some of the things were really fucking weird:

* 'I love to interact with other people even if my body and mind sometimes collide and don’t allow me to'
* 'I want to be back on earth again'
* 'Im too stuck inside my head all the time that I don’t think I ever consider doing anything'
* 'Its as is im trapped in a prison that I created myself'
* 'Im constantly just so intertwined with my own thoughts, there are so many people inside my head and each of the wants something different'
* 'I wish I could be free and interact with other people but there are things in my head and they won't let me and im trapper'
* 'I want to be a much more laid back person but I don’t know how to let go of my other personalities'
* 'I know I can make the right decisions and I continuously confine myself with counter thoughts but I need to be my own open self and allow myself for think freely'

I just wanted to reach out and for u to tell me what u think :) ",3.3162179487179486,4.701392117521369,4.2804273504273525,87.52846153846157,73.33760683760684,7.165811965811964,24.324786324786324,7.6953281115453125,1.0073606837606834,1813,53,388,23,36,587,201,468,0.114,0.7440000000000001,0.142,0.9454,1,1,4,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,6,1,31,16,1,2,10,0,45,12,6,4,2,86,87,41,0,15,19,0,2,3,0,4,4,2,0,3,27,28,0,2,15,1,1,6,9,7,1,1,14,5,69,10,61,59,12,44,0,1,0,2,21,15,1,6,25,279,96,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750479968182229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040511435482452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055964399850196384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458718034315387,0.0,0.04145675704802637,0.0,0.0,0.07662119401403683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554103095468777,0.0,0.07591889122703369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194294576324885,0.0,0.0,0.0734919762369065,0.0,0.10859695248051676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105339072829056,0.0,0.20882575588284036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04491832998539934,0.06151670139673882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06652441072541768,0.0,0.0,0.06877329778541062,0.09716918131374236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287186256749917,0.0710622515781935,0.0,0.23190146791668734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060138831254885027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791813702291424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675203481229156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669737147179747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44075879386120403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14950063247644546,0.16630563329145656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908460738568848,0.0,0.0996751270456479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061379448030090614,0.0,0.045395552153598265,0.0689489578616705,0.0683227013943637,0.0,0.0,0.068510428386889,0.0,0.0,0.06866821519168982,0.0,0.16284887692623568,0.0,0.1499800714934381,0.10085343864283916,0.0,0.0,0.0723267761648559,0.0,0.06663293679243028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28288713636973434,0.11876309826865546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918810379231523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680259304939445,0.0,0.043567363030746674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058078056207629264,0.0,0.0,0.13617479645406036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094668222956768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471103318833537,0.06726118284573368,0.0,0.04813607742498058,0.0,0.0,0.056857337489461965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717413536372973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466187387520885,0.059441575881346374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903623577034392,0.21788238540133467,0.06681704968121198,0.10798075935702313,0.0396557357157885,0.0,0.0,0.0649841061521473,0.0,0.046172646492154495,0.0,0.06643347169736147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20056300628418655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06114693387117245,0.0,0.06136621494486634,0.0,0.07820529942130659,0.06555682887624491,0.0,0.04951028939706136,0.0,0.0,0.048310595730295385,0.07435555443663264,0.0,0.043794617474904055
mentalhealth,garbagedisposalfart,2019/03/28,"Has anyone else felt like they were being ""judged"" by the person you were talking to while doing an initial consultation for counseling? Or am I just being sensitive? This is a throwaway account btw. 

This is kind of a long post. And just a disclosure, I am a dumbass when it comes to mental health and psychology and treatments and ways to cope  so sorry if I just seem ignorant. I'm willing to listen and learn! 

I'm not sure if this is the right place to come for this so sorry if I waste anyone's time. I recently went in to my university counseling service for an initial consultation. I've been slacking in school, procrastinating assignments, not paying attention in class or taking good notes, feeling empty and unmotivated, and just a whole plethora of things that is resulting in poor acedemic performance. I've always kind of had these problems but in the past I've been able to power through it (and I honestly thought this was normal, but apparently not lol) but as my classes have been getting exceedingly difficult it's starting to show in my GPA. 

I had to wait nearly an hour for a counselor to call my name, which is fine and everything, but there were several people who came in long after me and someone saw them within 10 minutes of finishing their initial consultation paper work (I know they were there for that because I overheard them at the front desk and it was a small room) and I was still waiting. I'm sure there was a good reason but it still kind of bugged me. 

When a counselor finally called my name they didn't seem very friendly. I was kind of slav squatting while doing a puzzle that was provided so I figured they just might have been weirded out by me squatting or something because I know that's an unusual way to sit (the waiting room never got full, it was usually just me and 1 or 2 other people). Anyway, in their office they said some things that just made me uncomfortable and their whole tone and mannerisms made me feel like they were judging me. I dont think ""judge"" is the right word exactly but that's all I can come up with atm. 

They asked me what i do to relieve stress. I was honest despite being hesitant. I told them i enjoy memes to take my mind off of things and i also enjoy coffee if I'm feeling anxious or down. They kind of laughed and said ""that's not really a stress reliever"". I'm not familiar with coping mechanisms or how to process stress so I'm not saying they were wrong, but I also didn't really care for exactly how they reacted. They also pointed out that I had checked A LOT of boxes on the form. They said it like they just couldn't keep up with how much I had checked. Like they couldn't believe I had so much wrong with me. I didn't think I had done anything unusual. I'm stressed out, maybe depressed, I was sexually assaulted a few years ago, I'm not doing well in school... like I felt like all of that was relevant. And at least half of the psychological questions were on a scale from 0-4 so it wasn't like I'd just answered yes to every health issue on the form.  I was just trying to be honest and check everything that applied to me at the time and they made me feel like I was being a burden on them and was wasting their time. 

They pointed out that my university had sort of a self-success type of service where professionals will help you do tasks on time and help you organize. I have been here for 3 years and I hadn't heard of this specific service and the counselor was just flabberghasted that I have been there for so long and never heard of it as if it was my fault, like i wasn't trying or something. I've never seen ads for it, never seen emails about it, professors never mentioned it, my friends have never mentioned it. 

Idk, their whole tone just seemed annoyed and judgemental. But I also tend to be overly sensitive and insecure so I'm afraid I'm just taking it too personally. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the service they provided and thanked them for their time, but I just couldn't help but feeling like they really really didn't want to deal with me. 

Again, apologies for making this so long and rambling. But thank you for reading. 

EDIT: I think I should also add, when someone makes me uncomfortable like this I have a tendency to be more dishonest, and not disclose information they should probably have. If they don't have the proper information, they cannot make recommendations for me or refer me to the proper place. 


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mentalhealth,view-from-the-edge,2019/03/28,"Is there a disorder where people pretend to do something and then never do it? That is, go through the whole sign up process, with no intention of every really paying money or committing? TL;DR: Lady with drama keeps signing up for expensive service and then never pays or follows through. 

​

Whole Story:

I'm a dog trainer and I run a board-and-train program where the dogs stay with us for a period of time. I was contacted by a woman about 4 years ago with two Irish wolfhound puppies. She went into some back story about being a single mom with two kids, one special needs. She went through the whole enrollment process over the phone and email (which is typical), made her appointments, etc. But then never paid her online invoice and I never heard back from her. No biggie, this happens enough that I don't think much of it.

​

Three years later she contacted me again like it was the first time. Her Irish wolfhounds were now 3 years old. Same detail about being a busy single mom with two kids, a girl and a disabled boy. I assumed she had forgotten we spoke previously and proceeded like it was our first contact. Same result - no payment and no response to my inquiries once all was supposedly settled.

​

Now a year later she's contacted me again, this time with two labradoodle puppies. I was already thinking she may be crazy, so this time I was very suspicious. This time I brought up the fact that we had spoken a couple times before about her Irish wolfhounds. She told me how they were just too much for her and now she has these two labradoodles but the're really rescues, she's only keeping one of them, and she's willing to pay for the training for the other one. She made mention of being a busy single mom again, but this time only mentioned one kid, her daughter, no disabled son. My heart went out to her, thinking maybe the disabled one died (if he ever existed). But she still had that same weird vibe, eager to tell me her sob story, martying herself. It's a trait that turns me off, but I am patient since I figure most people don't know they do it. But even though I felt sad for her, this time I didn't count on her. I only held her spots for a day before I left a voicemail and email saying I would need to release her spots if payment wasn't received by said deadline. No response. A day later she emailed me saying she's sorry but her close friend just died and she has to reschedule the vacation she was going to take while the dogs were here.

​

At this point we have had nearly 50 emails and around 10 phone calls over 4 years. She always has some crazy life circumstances. She's rather intense. The next time she contacts me (in 1 or 3 years, lol), I will tell her that I can't work with her. Honestly I think she's full of crap. Is this a disorder? Does it have a name? Thank you!",4.408992974238874,6.033438240437166,4.424432734842572,86.62323770491804,70.96721311475409,6.97720530835285,27.46122820712985,7.447530270364453,1.4615993234452254,2250,79,430,24,42,694,261,549,0.098,0.8540000000000001,0.048,-0.9713,0,0,1,0,3,0,83.0,5,1,3,3,27,11,1,0,30,1,40,3,2,5,8,80,70,32,2,6,15,5,1,2,1,4,1,5,0,6,24,28,0,3,8,2,6,9,15,4,0,13,29,6,73,7,52,33,18,74,0,2,0,0,83,19,2,10,47,311,97,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05365905030375272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679991743190875,0.0,0.05036849120188955,0.2623508896664323,0.29421796917723386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053887402740517294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309262482089876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301862950232002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618111892559105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697886048826136,0.0,0.07807784279114828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256478581450192,0.0,0.13875263706200625,0.0,0.052973031847286016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254700146890578,0.06751054548367293,0.039981623246675715,0.0547557662856596,0.051001851610164434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058121387476853525,0.0,0.0,0.1029790580418298,0.0,0.0,0.04676781834894282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880485185453866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053529329663631366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173216135268305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760942083444787,0.0,0.0,0.033267476577801776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576952449556764,0.0,0.04275640596740032,0.05914695074221755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145559994939988,0.0,0.0,0.06081375926559372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21268733941423493,0.0,0.0,0.08899776868981654,0.08976923648453566,0.18674781499999096,0.0,0.06437776997074184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351943532248594,0.0644659074809077,0.2050943944190028,0.13811473270430075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393223071993172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722346231360417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755826608481048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05758095755659495,0.09627689797164073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050073708046529435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046601432867907217,0.0,0.06776198782660714,0.0,0.0645203620934718,0.04834191051412552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04551345065052243,0.0,0.10581741097005072,0.055730859341862095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551489816835979,0.0594735847854759,0.0,0.3176766849805831,0.0,0.0,0.05784208918812583,0.0,0.0,0.06584276466033982,0.2956608178928256,0.0,0.07281401466108987,0.0,0.0,0.04994624897368527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683447140379176,0.0,0.2027495469538472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04406890768536199,0.0,0.0,0.043001065220790134,0.0,0.29421796917723386,0.23388846780586664
mentalhealth,KCVTVTS,2019/03/28,"Can anyone relate?.. I have manic depression. It's a horrible time and all I want is for the doctor visits and ups and downs to end. They switched my medication (again) and it's way too early to say if it'll help or harm me. But it isn't too early for the wonderful side effects of new medication! I'm extremely sensitive, aggressive, and it feels like I hate myself beyond repair. 
I fell behind in school (I'm one semester away from graduating college) and this time was different. Usually people just accept that I failed and move on. This time my mentor, the person I hoped I could go to with anything, told me I was self serving and lazy. I feel so horrible about it. Like maybe she's right. Maybe I really am a selfish, lazy person. I always thought I was selfless. As a child I had to take care of my mother. As an adult I dedicated my time to helping animals. But maybe I just use those things to make me feel like a good person? I don't know. All I know is I'm tired. I'm spiraling and I'm just done trying. This doesn't really have much of a point. Just wondering if anyone else has felt low like this..",1.4067000000000007,3.7002453200000014,3.537361111111114,86.399375,82.46666666666667,7.127777777777778,20.930555555555557,8.212053250817874,1.238322222222222,867,26,178,19,24,295,130,225,0.156,0.7,0.14400000000000002,-0.7103,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,10,15,2,0,9,0,17,4,0,3,2,37,40,17,0,5,9,1,4,4,0,1,4,1,0,6,13,10,0,0,11,0,0,4,3,7,0,1,8,5,27,8,23,30,3,25,0,3,0,0,14,10,0,6,14,114,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961847894306594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165424579771415,0.11844134041621945,0.0951253195862603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860586015107793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785740606344355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229367096274536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995623106072882,0.0,0.0,0.1207727862499779,0.0,0.11831698257803472,0.0,0.11829442051048797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656528091747793,0.0,0.10238338042780666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17534580773714692,0.1651630224061552,0.11098989234105153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569563659262685,0.0969560948644129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412671137510097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496257204474698,0.0,0.0,0.11481250150921778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270566242176902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22589666145855716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771609526406925,0.0,0.3483939159107773,0.0,0.0,0.23290078738409084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285981624518648,0.08497605781873613,0.0,0.0,0.11164293926453828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833056210292179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013942591493887,0.3028008262779747,0.0,0.0,0.10927519450733142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810698740355946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871800059480376,0.0,0.0919262512879475,0.0,0.1169889064648556,0.0,0.0,0.12059140880162228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691349616839388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679657226841022,0.0,0.0,0.09176998476262448,0.2696188679582112,0.1328601236704596,0.0,0.11045653812597407,0.0,0.07848181639518116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983747345899682,0.12731220902013446,0.0,0.06818127281283598,0.0917543972657638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507169685344594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,treasured-one,2019/03/28,"Lied to My Doctor Just lied to my doctor so I could get more pills. I almost have enough to guarantee my death by pills. I’m going to lie to her about how many I have in a few weeks again so I can be assured I have enough if the time comes.
I feel bad to lie to her, but I also feel much better having what I need should I choose to take that route one day.
Is it okay to be conflicted?",0.9240199335548168,2.0285557209302354,2.6479401993355483,97.96034883720932,79.0,5.84451827242525,15.774086378737545,6.18269132825596,-0.8081541528239198,296,3,76,2,7,98,56,86,0.098,0.789,0.113,0.3142,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,2,1,10,4,0,1,1,14,18,6,1,4,3,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,14,3,12,14,5,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,4,55,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289882824720123,0.0,0.0,0.18287395192142308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19093682654481536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224737082704805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19698610476815928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18258101286114653,0.0,0.0,0.14747858382804566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4681238549172479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725716218363902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312532364978529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947497211459905,0.0,0.12996314638390907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23184390122481285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681048607520973,0.16956206005175595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549583326521633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193762038281268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13334415427618185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343193662218965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wet_napkin007,2019/03/28,"I sometimes have intrusive thoughts of my life not being real... A couple months ago I started having very wild thoughts that my life wasn’t real, that everything that happened in my life was controlled by someone, that they would spray chemicals in the air or something to make me feel a certain way, that my husband was in on it and everyone around me was in on it. It got to the point where I was telling “whoever” was controlling my life to give me a sign and STRANGELY enough after asking for a sign I crawled into bed and I heard a VERY loud knocking on the front door. And I mean LOUD. I waited assuming maybe it was the dryer or something and I realized it absolutely wasn’t the dryer as no laundry was being done and I got up and nobody was there. I spent the whole next day just talking to this person who clearly was controlling my life asking for another sign etc etc. My father talked me down telling me it was a result of being by myself all the time as I’m a stay at home mother who literally never leaves the house and never talks to anyone or anything... it went away for a while. But yesterday I was in therapy for an unrelated matter and she said something about my brother in law living in the basement and I never said anything about him living in the basement... and now it’s back. Can someone please explain this to me and how to deal with it... ",6.4467038413878575,6.156184401486987,6.801026022304836,78.24381908302355,65.57992565055761,9.4038166047088,33.546716232961586,8.841846274778883,2.735497942998761,1080,42,205,15,15,351,140,269,0.02,0.947,0.032,0.2656,0,0,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,3,9,1,0,0,19,0,21,5,0,6,6,49,41,20,0,1,6,4,1,0,0,1,5,5,3,1,18,15,0,4,7,0,1,2,7,0,0,0,23,6,30,1,38,14,5,38,0,0,0,0,23,20,0,4,14,159,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510215394770843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066903849958153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712854491653282,0.0,0.15800696745166734,0.08546431623194314,0.1795024055780545,0.0,0.09019934274381312,0.0738214974366619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230314683696009,0.0,0.10622709988804,0.0,0.06191492916389332,0.09897637426931008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824588622992793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919826232187526,0.21414068278593815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173636787978527,0.08628261087927355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485427354434726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209621819150128,0.0,0.0,0.1535670605635885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489641967132243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630029288464716,0.0,0.0,0.1107762475781842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165485251264793,0.0,0.0,0.3390539174930148,0.0,0.0,0.16954737965328145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408371706642091,0.0,0.0964493757131868,0.10457699268477554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662983749461222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22213365515550215,0.0,0.1021018236410545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382738425152951,0.0,0.10538405848575867,0.0907552383366102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21854816840613767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826444369290338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626885209357961,0.22172675205720596,0.09495085766232148,0.0,0.06795244511956611,0.10232797182503467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23149422532984498,0.16782424488961534,0.0,0.10978945750960976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524336218631996,0.05598096789466892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842745427687416,0.0,0.0762038652031658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899708865039846,0.0,0.10718554192331482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819880805976923,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CryBabySinner17,2019/03/28,"carcrash related ptsd setback several years ago my family and I  were coming home from a friends house and we got into a car crash. That triggered me to have an intense and debilitating fear of driving. I'm currently 18 and still don't have my drivers license because of my fear of driving. I was planning on trying to get my drivers license but today I had a set back when I witnessed a rollover accident coming home from the store. The car stopped right in front of us and the sound made me have a flashback to the first accident. No one had been severely injured thank goodness but it shook me up big time. Now I'm not sure if I'll ever get my license because I'm so terrified of driving. I don't know what to do. I'm still having nightmares regarding the first crash. I'm still having flashbacks, I'm still terrified to even sit in the driver's seat. I feel like I'm just being ridiculous but I don't know how to stop it. I feel so angry with myself. Why can't I just get over this? Its been years. Argh. ",2.6449322493224945,4.547048487804879,3.9902032520325186,86.73966802168022,76.3170731707317,6.701897018970191,28.462059620596207,7.594959193182576,1.7297100271002717,800,35,160,11,18,263,115,205,0.264,0.6759999999999999,0.059,-0.994,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,0,3,14,10,2,3,12,0,17,1,0,3,2,28,36,13,0,1,7,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,6,10,0,2,4,0,1,9,6,5,0,3,8,3,20,5,20,27,0,37,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,19,103,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682185475422682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133661548195708,0.0,0.16067313161406055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22704688859446884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704454061936158,0.11920953016815425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242377257291466,0.29659562952179125,0.13327165356671716,0.09414916752875092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241971203960795,0.0,0.0,0.10181885910027304,0.0,0.20656091998562634,0.0,0.0,0.11053727989883147,0.10540267203587134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26438764017823513,0.0,0.0,0.15206532507683224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485415954295425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438481905334345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247007192482614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930276410071765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405278247835796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254598566558008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29776520454716976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4209833470144769,0.22036085598992344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420835857812686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213324186415564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684647446656252,0.0,0.12491934110300001,0.0,0.0,0.0894752054316392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852439051115827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891791148872125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697339309338883
mentalhealth,DominicGallardi,2019/03/28,"Post 8: The Fear of Loss Originally posted on [dominicgallardi.com](https://dominicgallardi.com)

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I have a, at times aberrant, fear of losing those close to me. A dream will come to me at night that my pup (“Dude”) will be dying right in my arms, or that my parents somehow passed away without warning. I’ll wake up in a hysteric panic, sweating and sometimes crying at the thought of losing them. Morbid as hell, right? Recently, I did a little deep dive into what this is, and came up with “Thanatophobia.” Now, I don’t think I’m ready to diagnose myself here. That said, I think this is an issue that many people struggle with, and something I thought could create a conversation around. At the very least, let someone know they aren’t alone. In this post, I want to look at ways to cope with this fear of losing those closest to you. 

**Live in the moment**

This is something that I repeat to myself on a daily basis. Being *present* is important no matter what’s going on in a person’s life. It allows you to truly live for the moment, and without the cloudiness of thoughts that probably don’t pertain to what you’re doing at that moment. To live life to the fullest. “SHEEESH! Does this guy ever stop with the therapist mumbo jumbo?” Relax there Cujo. Maybe you should try it. I date a therapist. Blame her. (jk jk Love you, babe)

If you suddenly are triggered with anxiety regarding the fear of losing someone, set up some time to hangout with them. Enjoy the time you have with them. Live in the moment. Those are the times you’ll look back on and smile at. Don’t hold onto that fear. Hold onto the time you have with this person, or pup. It’ll make a world of difference. 

**Death is inevitable; let go of controlling everything**

The sooner a person can grasp this fact in life then the better off their quality of life will be. We all will face the cold hard truth that we won’t be on this earth forever. That’s ok! As long as you're making the most of your time, you will always live without regret. Well, at least to some degree. 

Truth is, I’m kind of a control freak. I’ve definitely learned to let go in many aspects of my life, but much of that controlling nature still resides in me. The idea is to accept the things you have no control over, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Before you go trying to say “YOU DIDN’T MAKE THAT UP!”, I know I didn’t, bonehead. It’s called the “serenity prayer.” Look it up when you need a wake up call in respect to your control issues. 

**Know that this feeling is NORMAL**

It’s human nature to be scared of losing those that mean the most to you. I’d be a little skeptical of someone that was ok with losing the puppy they raised. That said, know that when you have these anxious feelings, it means that you love and care about whoever you’re having these thoughts about. Just don’t let them control you or the relationship you have with the opposite side. Make sure you enjoy the f\*ck out of the time you have with this person. Live in the moment, and let go of the control burden you may carry. These feelings you’re having are normal.

I’ve experienced loss in my life. I’m happy to say I still have my core group of people that mean the most to me. I love them unconditionally, and enjoy every single moment I have with them. The fear of losing my puppy, girlfriend, or parents still creep into my mind from time to time. I’ve found that when this happens, I reach out to them. I give them a kiss, or a pet on the belly. I completely let go of the fact that they will inevitably leave me one day, and live in the moments that I have with them. It’s granted me serenity in my life, and it’ll do the same for you. 

Love will always prevail. Alright, that was cheesy. ",2.2534016735658327,4.722672783857735,3.157063975695986,89.33698420594456,80.3953488372093,5.493709026951161,20.711016753424413,6.7538697105534125,0.3977588821575142,2939,82,579,31,77,932,285,731,0.096,0.773,0.132,0.9873,3,1,2,0,1,0,152.0,2,25,13,17,17,47,2,9,54,3,63,18,5,14,7,108,110,25,2,8,11,2,4,0,1,13,8,4,1,7,56,34,0,10,22,3,0,9,13,23,1,1,13,13,75,24,113,71,11,103,1,10,3,5,65,53,1,13,36,405,131,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045926907542882776,0.0,0.0,0.07379535513679801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033922962541551166,0.05009598562522913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03947547293700703,0.0,0.0,0.0416625542730123,0.0340977223326932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03773339328032485,0.0,0.0,0.0392185764622954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056016080141448,0.05071760887241581,0.045211561970635805,0.0,0.04690996698414848,0.03819834384134598,0.04649373604234917,0.0,0.3481481856892921,0.03540499628834028,0.0,0.04870969251840649,0.02859814737150455,0.0,0.0,0.0450081256203659,0.04602196776564287,0.09265987590067767,0.0,0.0,0.038805646194309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04011159677824711,0.0373616487450508,0.0,0.0398534384977157,0.0,0.0,0.29939529870104153,0.06726482550050092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04862079812304353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04253871006178463,0.151209963508396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04390743327665191,0.03921316480306067,0.04720490670054637,0.03972342485768602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500588661560277,0.0,0.09256702252172598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04617734859328995,0.1218512402289258,0.0,0.0,0.04695378792229338,0.0,0.2720678561844003,0.21924985851405995,0.0,0.08888847581146918,0.27409533618777165,0.03924295656025013,0.11171312448062083,0.3472663738476849,0.0,0.0,0.16008840616963815,0.0,0.11839959179654914,0.08991551020238199,0.044549408321763184,0.1449105226568866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477469852434225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032597869174415685,0.032880440373837305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04161374672231986,0.0868952148630674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0300485746377669,0.0,0.0,0.05202801286124298,0.09847730761453301,0.0,0.0,0.06148495443882456,0.15487753412409674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274075968045596,0.0,0.04781022486437325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043784252099157456,0.047608753942726637,0.0,0.0757388975472048,0.08436240813674423,0.07052809909283089,0.04439598030051973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127173290885528,0.0682762021714451,0.04385725150859676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623928876732083,0.03707348644319401,0.0,0.046357872941607474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04179360147419407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297337267479233,0.05892023424266754,0.056827561880710864,0.0,0.14081641508065185,0.2327155651025673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602131953185653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036588362017738636,0.026155181451685633,0.03519812421313873,0.0,0.0,0.03987049207740249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282378131258457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AHM8,2019/03/28,"Help getting rid of a horrific mental image Last week I saw a really gruesome road accident and I can’t get the images out of my head, it’s really upsetting me

any tips or advice?",6.023513513513514,5.324713108108114,8.527702702702705,66.87371621621624,66.56756756756758,12.80540540540541,32.013513513513516,12.161744961471696,4.287929729729728,143,5,26,5,2,53,33,37,0.273,0.6609999999999999,0.066,-0.8576,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,3,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,2,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459902567062317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407777586254033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699708756626822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633749765820784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373237030187333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28861193019744746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568163432462013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536488808847583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28401125782025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Weirdishorwhat,2019/03/28,"What level of paranoia is normal? Another try. I made a similar post recently but it got so out of context and was so badly written I had to delete it, I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

I have some bouts of paranoia, but I'm not sure if it's normal or not. I've always been more or less mentally ill so I don't have anything to compare to.

I have severe distrust towards my friends sometimes. To the point where I try to find out if they are planning stuff/talking shit about me behind my back. I ask questions and even almost spy on them by going around town and look if I can find them doing stuff behind my back. Ridiculous, I know, but when I'm having these bouts of paranoia I find doing so completely rational and right. These bouts usually last a couple weeks. I've had some friends betray me in the past though. 

Another thing is fear of police. I've had times when I think every car might be police car. I've also thought that police is after me, to the point where I was always cautious. I always get very nervous when the police is nearby, and anytime I have anything to do with them I get very shaky.

I used to have severe fear of dogs after loose dog attacked me (not afraid anymore). I also get panic attacs when at or near a school (I was heavily bullied). I don't trust any people of my age, except my friends sometimes. I always have this idea in my head that I'm not and can not be liked. Sometimes I ""go inside my shell"" being just alone and not talking to anyone. If someone disturbs me then I get very annoyed. I've had diagnosed severe depression, but I've been better for two years now, on medication though. Some of these paranoid thoughts still occasionally arise. Is this just normal and I'm worried for nothing?",3.720656516574884,5.338144860058313,4.67348234531908,84.18272324802938,72.70262390670555,6.714134542705972,26.989417989417987,7.2427474758485975,1.4225286470143623,1369,49,259,14,27,445,169,343,0.269,0.6890000000000001,0.042,-0.998,0,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,4,2,23,21,5,7,8,0,33,5,2,2,1,53,54,32,0,7,20,0,0,1,3,1,3,0,0,0,13,12,0,0,9,0,0,4,8,14,0,1,14,1,38,7,38,36,5,41,0,1,1,0,10,17,1,14,20,183,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363174696388957,0.08650001272123939,0.0,0.1335794819566652,0.27797644124596044,0.0,0.0,0.05679546667839401,0.17515292875098545,0.0,0.0,0.08282794302444214,0.05839810044958201,0.0,0.1374572734810426,0.07434920167528697,0.07807855454727068,0.0950143888591685,0.0,0.12844119377248694,0.06973448680997807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386535572267522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875675932538242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241166864919956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193439042872471,0.08476955334050386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05516320362267842,0.0,0.07036796650668886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18796313919850596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290032793605813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935786351635189,0.0,0.1745399463857222,0.0,0.0949310144228753,0.0,0.06679740071597162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571411035658763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428225828756552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04589960175332671,0.06807875178378989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04080293673074864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013453336826861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902725568817819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413613579603982,0.08416703788938715,0.08859996560341417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454912901783751,0.0801382852959242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097991003860998,0.0,0.0,0.07972789044070347,0.05790123508922537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790401926027206,0.0,0.07998766833354838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355987151216656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246447597262599,0.0,0.0,0.07132437117836299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845252146333418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28305651037918866,0.08573057433224203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076498231427222,0.0,0.2478058952610741,0.09349216036813562,0.0,0.0,0.06669800865130526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191217478197196,0.0,0.0,0.07871522931973306,0.0,0.0,0.13425806702766732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548600247872512,0.05351530386635262,0.16411307001971787,0.13260877280342082,0.04870032845852059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340720374388705,0.0,0.08158547140541947,0.0,0.0,0.07213319730539879,0.09198386512061686,0.20673461044782426,0.0,0.0,0.06699352972595088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848171247446023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378319724109763
mentalhealth,zenzini,2019/03/28,"Phrase triggered an emotional response I have a track record of having a fine day, then out of nowhere someone mentions a certain topic, phrase, or word, and my body reacts before I do. One time on a conversation about parents and marriages, I cried. Another about families, I was talking normally when my friend points out that my eyes had been tearing since a few minutes before. Today, my boyfriend mentioned drinking several times resulting to a panic attack.

I don't know what this is but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with my mental health. I needed to talk about it because I don't understand it, can't afford a therapist, can't find anything about it, and wanted to find out if anybody else had gone through something similar.",8.845933263816477,8.26693494890511,8.235557872784153,70.8765693430657,60.824817518248175,10.748279457768511,41.46923879040668,9.957137785484203,4.334642127215851,596,30,97,10,7,188,94,137,0.058,0.8490000000000001,0.094,0.6851,2,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,1,8,0,14,4,2,3,2,23,20,8,0,4,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,7,7,1,0,4,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,5,1,12,4,16,15,1,12,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,2,6,67,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692770035527674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100224314215306,0.0,0.0,0.18110497547513932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704255171551993,0.0,0.2709229701321889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682749267077494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486599301146574,0.10266629042087788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594849681354367,0.0,0.0,0.1329852920848314,0.1790706548282736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007295623077574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29099896545702697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299208710996225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921467380760538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748828834942045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042906254300124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180395637778386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15597530234083332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078732706150154,0.0,0.0,0.18677864020506035,0.176764944457447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15048880426913352,0.0,0.0,0.16195647268276026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17984273394732542,0.0,0.1316860627542354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488367962373374,0.2451090383551435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003748218178015,0.0,0.0,0.2559065445595299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18483529802321125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18565339201801373,0.0,0.1508963134965835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16572548709582474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389613320215026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maagentaa,2019/03/28,"what do i do? i just get so freaked out sometimes because i constantly feel like i’m on edge. this is the age where personality disorders begin to solidify. i’ve come up positive for tests on personality disorders such as borderline personality and paranoid personality but i was told i don’t need to worry about it until i’m older... 

i hear stories about crazy people because of their mental illness and i’m tired of just acting like i’m okay. i’m not fucking okay. i don’t wanna be crazy but i feel like i’m going crazy. i just don’t know what to do.

i’ve seen therapists before but i begin to feel like they don’t really care about helping me and that they only want me to go see them for my money. i get paranoid that they’re using me. and i’m afraid to go to a mental hospital. i don’t have a job either because social anxiety. i don’t know what else to write i’m just freaking out and i’m scared of what i’m becoming.",1.2403092783505159,3.395407515463919,4.068257731958763,83.17197422680415,82.09278350515464,6.97278350515464,23.1020618556701,8.07648339933343,1.4360152577319585,734,26,151,15,20,261,95,194,0.179,0.6829999999999999,0.138,-0.848,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,4,0,10,12,1,2,3,2,13,3,0,1,0,27,45,11,0,3,9,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,0,4,8,8,0,0,5,0,1,5,7,5,0,0,3,6,21,7,24,41,1,17,0,0,2,1,13,6,1,0,10,86,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723639506061918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23244947448664444,0.14037953347001486,0.10815857051073484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295939084241133,0.0,0.0,0.10949129952518136,0.0,0.13735735315285716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29135093238419435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618146614759097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280713286874504,0.2724154847243675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750823793638945,0.1328161696781441,0.0,0.21671326215678868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325866179798016,0.0,0.08519704463850834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613393924123556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970920516170765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24839195292160354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25618762505906384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424812134380826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667048978057567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811988800764005,0.4439392071272963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142790514249072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725613437556232,0.0,0.10128770570123888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956943025288115,0.0,0.0,0.12571192827688246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758085373390015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609062998465622,0.0,0.12145604561359905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977951089280956,0.0,0.0,0.07497091545006287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290831796956817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Vtron89,2019/03/28,"Eddie Hall - World's Strongest Man - Talks ""Mental Health"" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k54Mm-z7FrE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k54Mm-z7FrE)

​

This is a guy who has achieved so much in his life.  He talks about his journey with mental health issues, depression and his chase to achieve his dreams.  Really puts things into perspective when someone like him can be so relatable.

​

If you want more context, let me know.  This guy has won the World's Strongest Man and set the world record for the deadlift at 1100 lbs.",12.445243902439024,14.447452060975616,6.779170731707321,75.66948780487809,52.780487804878035,8.999024390243902,33.47317073170731,8.841846274778883,2.709153170731707,447,14,64,5,5,111,63,82,0.04,0.782,0.17800000000000002,0.8924,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,4,0,6,3,0,0,0,7,9,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,2,7,6,2,11,0,1,0,0,14,7,0,1,2,36,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470845000517593,0.3892439506035728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795269339120134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171835312565622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405027553416095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717405738767896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880242906031001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378290440831195,0.11313158349166433,0.07825012468625636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228238816621358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177421052038438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101334678150686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260789297552772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357100525889262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574743713761599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640867937895873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447139350221637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892439506035728,0.0
mentalhealth,ashlee92112,2019/03/28,"Haven’t had a good, hearty laugh in 5 years. I hear people laugh all the time and it’s like I forgot how to do it. I don’t even know what my own laugh sounds like anymore. ",-0.6134615384615358,1.0656373333333349,0.9201923076923072,105.8310576923077,85.92307692307692,3.9,12.314102564102564,3.1291,-1.930697435897436,132,1,36,0,4,42,31,39,0.0,0.5720000000000001,0.428,0.9565,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,1,5,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,4,6,2,5,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087860819590437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722505117695516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457291038351138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645730428788876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22653126081720956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4027547233344523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857636948164856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403538677134887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654396773916121
mentalhealth,midoritsukura,2019/03/28,i need someone to talk to please,-0.4357142857142868,1.8118882857142853,0.6257142857142846,103.04428571428572,94.71428571428572,2.8000000000000003,21.285714285714285,3.1291,-0.6545999999999994,26,1,6,0,1,8,6,7,0.0,0.685,0.315,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198724609105341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6215802464745102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4797877990033534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551360035078932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ruphina,2019/03/28,"Where should I go to get away? Hello all! Sorry if this type of post isn't allowed. Please let me know if there is a better suited sub. 

I'm really struggling with a lot right now and I just want to get away. I work a lot and I never get time off, except for the occasional random and unpredictable days where I'm not needed. I was just informed that I have a whole week off starting in just a few days. I haven't had time to think about it. Where should I go? I haven't had a vacation adventure in a while. 

Some ( hopefully) helpful information about me: 
Currently in Florida
I don't drink
I like outdoor adventures and exploring new places
I'm extroverted but really struggling with myself right now
",2.3065159301130542,4.6539840143884925,3.9022867420349456,84.76901079136692,79.35971223021582,7.7124357656731775,22.87821171634121,8.634040054169528,1.6865679342240494,554,18,110,13,14,184,83,139,0.101,0.8440000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.7008,2,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,11,7,0,2,8,0,12,1,0,1,2,31,26,8,0,7,8,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,5,1,0,3,6,2,0,0,3,0,14,5,17,20,6,29,0,0,0,0,4,13,0,7,13,79,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30844823556023604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517713714465194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21172605114963344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080428774476446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572844483629984,0.0,0.18658020076277726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002613454418594,0.0,0.0,0.16303776546455387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902124238546384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785426717322502,0.0,0.08019528889706552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791085385511149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171497877079612,0.12660242655696474,0.1585368762836673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17150157814080666,0.1801871605008928,0.0,0.0,0.15721010996195214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103170992579105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803660231514619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18375223479155325,0.11618605613715292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432099726642753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518054821142904,0.0,0.0,0.19143410857336016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968197907005924,0.0,0.13167104873012905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832673624779925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195029917470675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MuchGuidance,2019/03/28,"How do therapists bill insurance and what to they say and the like? (information handling question) I'm currently going to a therapist just about gender dysphoria, which I don't mind being on my medical record and being seen by insurance.

​

I don't want anything like depression or PTSD on my medical record or insurance information though, even if I might have it.

​

If I ask her to omit that information from insurance and from my file before opening up and she agrees, then would that be it? Or should I ask about other ways information is stored as well?",8.341089743589741,8.838492980769235,8.189230769230772,67.2224358974359,61.5,12.702564102564105,37.52564102564102,12.161744961471696,5.0118833333333335,466,21,77,15,6,150,68,104,0.048,0.861,0.091,0.5451,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,0,2,0,11,2,0,1,0,23,17,14,0,5,6,0,0,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,5,0,2,1,2,1,1,0,1,2,11,3,12,10,0,8,0,1,1,0,11,4,0,7,4,59,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345047301885831,0.3751361488478152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270276868658354,0.0,0.28861734055377164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135163715238712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295272037423336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195537826180316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772811266060944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082803663946842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110091868212338,0.0,0.16375486581357898,0.1558627370320164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18044221496380236,0.0,0.17292201075550015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275574068128672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584549362802606,0.0,0.0,0.15166097174138068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104736163466187,0.12252625163450576,0.0,0.0,0.13879097407252874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965512438544253,0.0,0.3751361488478152,0.0
mentalhealth,iceykazami,2019/03/28,"I want to seek help but I don't know where to start. 21/F, Montgomery County, Maryland, United States. 
I have spoken to my professors and they recommended me to talk to our school counselor but most of what they recommended needed insurance or costed a bunch. I don't have a job, I do part time whenever I can but my parents won't let me. They also refuse to pay for anything associated with my bipolar and anxiety. I think I'm dealing with trauma from the past few years in an abusive relationship currently that's really preventing me from functioning normally. ",4.587473794549268,6.815110933962266,5.924088050314468,73.56734800838576,71.73584905660377,9.616771488469603,30.645702306079663,9.994966539143718,3.50830104821803,453,20,78,13,9,152,76,106,0.161,0.736,0.102,-0.8146,3,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,0,0,16,14,7,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,2,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,17,0,13,12,4,8,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,2,5,56,19,4,0.0,0.2854856971891662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192687187629643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843256692805824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982808666296016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24840830227284405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615033369339793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23910514941594346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241951601576565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463871368324468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17866096366802486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360793019963419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675458491098013,0.2609247733438401,0.23001351344733084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435838714658534,0.0,0.0,0.258689535837526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438537064663008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054526044276452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19366604042188007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439067806084908,0.0,0.0,0.1404995616071705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421182280389529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516354557325607
mentalhealth,Stargazer1919,2019/03/28,"I just want to turn my brain off. I'm not talking about killing myself. I don't want to do that. I have PTSD, depression, and ADHD. My mind is always buzzing while my body is exhausted. I am always thinking about the abuse in my past and I want it to stop.

What I want is to just turn off my thoughts. To be awake, but sedated. To just lay in bed and have nothing to do for hours. Weed helps a lot but it doesn't help 100%.",-0.6274825174825196,1.4283382197802188,1.1220779220779242,101.75246753246752,89.87912087912089,4.627772227772229,18.162837162837164,6.11248444174946,-0.4817999999999998,322,9,81,3,11,104,55,91,0.122,0.765,0.112,-0.4458,0,0,0,0,1,1,14.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,2,0,11,3,2,0,0,18,20,6,1,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,12,0,14,18,1,8,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,1,4,54,16,0,0.0,0.2146959601952389,0.0,0.0,0.21777082916120752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015508739225711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20127571720347845,0.0,0.20228250909336867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560699043533395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24291314303427536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784484841321191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004743054043413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405233635633803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182963405279452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386919450673738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17297879583345094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118166454318235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149384694440038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456441317900229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610758506582684,0.0,0.14385496536840905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3941937260979301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275129679768324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ziigma007,2019/03/28,"Ambiguity of my diagnosings has made me suicidal As the title reads, I'll explain.  So i'm 21 years old now and have been suffering with mental problems all my life. As I have gotten older and have siblings around my age to compare myself to, I feel as if some pernicious mental health problem has been affecting me since I was young. I am able to recognize and am starting to put pieces together but here I am so far:

When I was younger I would have constant tantrums at home for a while until entering middle school.  As I went through middle school and high school I was extremely shy and shut off.  My childhood tantrums of screaming and crying later became hidden cries and mental breakdowns alone in my room.  At 16 I had my first thought of suicide when I had constant thoughts of becoming a pedophile because of a video I watched. It was of this little girl explaining how she had been raped by an older man repeatedly  and had become seriously afflicted with the cold callous out look of life that her abuser had shown to her. Not once had I ever thought of harming a child but for some reason couldn't shake this thought for months until my father found me crying and I explained to him I had thoughts I couldn't control, and that I didn't want to tell him. I went to a psychologist and spoke twice to her but couldn't get through without crying so I decided to stop and handle it on my own. I was able to get over these incessant thoughts but the same type of obsessive thought pattern came when I had my first girlfriend at 19 and couldn't get a specific sexual event she had with someone else, before being with me, out of my head. Knowing it was totally unreasonable to be upset but not being able to control my thoughts made it impossible to feel, or act normal.  As for this I was able to figure out at 16 that it was OCD but didn't know it was going to continue until I had a second episode. 

Result- My doctor diagnosed me with clinical depression and put me on my first antidepressant at age 19.

As the relationship ended I had gotten over everything but new problems were arising, I had mood shifts every so often that would just throw me into the worst depression. I would shut myself off like when I was little and not talk much to others and keep to myself, thinking self deprecating thoughts. Because of not being able to control these moods and it was beginning to become too much, I asked to see a psychiatrist.

Result-My psychiatrist had diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and had given me a combination of antidepressants and mood stabilizers at age 20.

Now at 21 I'm visiting a new psychiatrist and have already changed my medication twice (the total number of medications I've tried are about 7-8).  I'm currently taking 300mg of Gabapentin 3 times a day. This was the first time I tried just telling the doctor I think it's OCD so I could get the proper medication. Note that I had been against medication after stopping my past medications of the mood stabalizers and antidepressants because of the physical affect it was having on me (nauseous, couldn't hold down breakfast even after trying to switch the time I took the medication, throwing up, gagging throughout the day). I had always believed that I could naturally cure whatever was going on but as you see I've run back to the previous solutions as I don't know what else to do.  Being diagnosed multiple times and never having a clear answer confuses me to the point where I can't help but blame myself.

After further researching on my own I believe that I may have some type of ADD but cannot trust this as I am in no position to diagnose myself.  A lot of the things I have experienced in life has lined up with this disorder. When I was younger I had constant tantrums and would be extremely pervasive and overpowering to my siblings and parents. I was also sensitive to things like the tags on backs of shirt or underwear and would freak out if I had to wear it or would constantly be picking at it. I would get stuck on thoughts as I got older and become obsessive over them, as I've always had an obsessive personality. My moods would shift constantly over little things. As for my focus and attention, I always found myself listening to the first couple minutes of things or reading little bits of questions and then figuring it out on my own. I'm not stupid but I definitely don't operate how I'd like to.  I avoid sticking to routine and hated waking up for school everyday and would only go because I cared about what my mother said. Even now, I was able to enter college among obtaining a scholarship in high school for being number 21 in my class and took the first offer I saw which was community college. As for picking classes I didn't care and majored in programming, took a Chinese course, and some other randoms things. I dropped out after a year and a half because I couldn't bare the routine and sitting in class listening but also was obsessing over relationship problems, but nonetheless had no interest in school .  I went on a hiatus from school for a year just working and DJing on the side, which I eventually bought my own equipment but never got around to practicing enough to pursue it individually without a company's help.  I'm back in school now and have already made it difficult for myself even though my classes aren't hard. The reason is because I was an idiot and impulsively scheduled them with big gaps in between and I don't have the patience to wait an hour and sometimes end up going home early without finishing the day. I could go on and on about this like how many drugs I've tried or my experimentations with altered states of mind but I can see I've already dragged this on.  My goal in life was to become a Psychiatrist or something within the field of mental health/psychology because I was fascinated ever since I was 15/16 and would go on Yahoo answers looking for people's problems so I could give guidance and analyze their thinking patterns.  

At this point I'm just experiencing too many losses and failures to feel like I can see a future, I can't focus when I need to and as school will become more difficult in the future I fear that with all my problems I won't be able to do the finish a degree in Psychiatry let alone even get into med school since I've ruined my GPA after dropping out the first time. I feel like a time bomb that's always ticking and I hope impulsivity doesn't get the best of me. I know suicide isn't the answer and I'm strong enough not let myself get too far down that path but I cannot help but think it. If anyone could give me advice to what I'm going through whether it be analyzing what I've said or just giving reassurance would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

​

TL;DR: Dealing with a number of mental health problems and can't figure what is actually the number one culprit. Whether it's just me or my mind.",7.152027334851938,7.234647015186031,7.4666004555808625,72.80704419134399,64.041761579347,10.364926347760061,35.099863325740316,10.047579312681364,3.4965217494305243,5537,231,989,110,75,1809,473,1317,0.162,0.785,0.052000000000000005,-0.9994,3,3,2,0,1,2,83.0,0,2,3,16,48,56,7,9,61,0,125,28,4,17,9,232,220,116,3,36,45,3,5,6,1,14,22,6,3,5,52,73,1,9,38,3,2,24,34,35,0,12,84,22,137,16,185,98,24,192,0,5,8,1,46,81,0,23,89,728,189,28,0.2231728272211391,0.03777475810946869,0.03111206947149632,0.0,0.0,0.031154557693608437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603992674227507,0.1055471847353273,0.05099177979960665,0.10611295442881484,0.034543952150497416,0.0387399160795577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02229251854567333,0.0,0.0,0.0567631804610934,0.029805209619225843,0.0,0.0,0.07354548364137968,0.0,0.13604408405871446,0.2112658747433193,0.02712909121568185,0.07183981507042883,0.03345801621418828,0.0,0.034806703724285286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03646432291734772,0.06501130601176995,0.0,0.033726751362729075,0.0,0.0,0.1722646733047678,0.107274558213936,0.12727524485560812,0.0352766412150251,0.1400827836078769,0.0616834332558373,0.03286876933986225,0.05491955116206283,0.1617969441988205,0.0,0.0,0.07307868422355189,0.06526481294378088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369728038418845,0.0,0.05326636006615724,0.0,0.0564756810609643,0.06588491096473449,0.0,0.08423059862085737,0.057677885459144575,0.026861818899845902,0.0,0.02865333526276988,0.0,0.0,0.03587592519471807,0.06448164973495865,0.04555277495966318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18983069282640927,0.0,0.06991356740487377,0.0,0.0,0.13325553269061485,0.09175187639951872,0.1268342607295949,0.0,0.05099762775842922,0.035149832840085334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028559859654216875,0.03147670903824936,0.032719958013014395,0.10166669113036468,0.0,0.0,0.06410916077358503,0.06736981285645671,0.06396015488654068,0.031665853334556536,0.03139718286716811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028338037572308086,0.0,0.0,0.07008568535262209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520266750150477,0.09007632449765446,0.09345511755884453,0.12781588713197845,0.0,0.0,0.05354541924369953,0.0,0.0,0.027104793852512486,0.0,0.09050208223279584,0.0,0.06464634812626087,0.0,0.0,0.03541352861859685,0.1927055523883499,0.16064694216410794,0.0,0.06438312459192003,0.0,0.02544777449927793,0.0,0.04687363045775742,0.02363997479597841,0.04917846929180842,0.0615833449165959,0.0,0.0,0.03123742665698225,0.0,0.0,0.033454620065461405,0.033953111059623765,0.02160395478331559,0.02424757023634649,0.0,0.0,0.03540100198651451,0.0,0.030434816587763088,0.02210284833080024,0.02783798636460934,0.0,0.0,0.06027727358760637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21354625550196504,0.0,0.06410009488735308,0.03571494885551052,0.0,0.06378092027361956,0.0,0.0,0.06555966736149055,0.0,0.06845831323898706,0.0,0.0,0.06065384707157224,0.0,0.0,0.3226611653948546,0.10162277086394453,0.0,0.033259704425246235,0.0,0.0,0.07911894380643802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027013373183039043,0.024544192233239868,0.03153194751944606,0.0,0.02256612511019429,0.0,0.0,0.05330927902130599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046206502418553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023971170267037004,0.025625409269129314,0.05573225363766171,0.02935250787003845,0.0,0.0,0.10590436416250844,0.0817143636340006,0.031323738519204974,0.2531061373812544,0.1115433173665556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062656668439715,0.08658268584801722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01880473081479993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866433430294647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219884635725717,0.0,0.02321035374179044,0.0,0.0,0.24912732949762864,0.0,0.0387399160795577,0.061592564452223934
mentalhealth,AustinDev1,2019/03/28,"How to come back happy after an emotionally abusive break up? All I really want to do is recover from the damage of an emotionally abusive person.

The progress I've had so far can be found in the following: 

- I no longer feel guilty about leaving 
- I no longer see them as a wonderful person
- I no longer miss them, cry over them or want to contact them 
- I'm able to be productive on self improvement challenges, therapy practices and finding new values in life 

The trouble happens when it's an ""off"" day and I think back on the good times, hit a point of mental unwellness and lose motivation and sometimes I become very irritable. 

I'm still pretty numb,but every now and then a new self discovery will bring my mood up just a little bit. 

I really to be the happy, healthy, person I was before I met them and I want that sense of completion back independently. 

What the hell do you do to get it back? ",4.436826373626374,5.890278405714287,5.6405714285714295,78.59896703296704,70.65714285714286,9.041758241758243,28.31868131868132,9.466822959209583,2.5493120879120887,711,26,135,16,13,237,110,175,0.192,0.628,0.18,-0.6782,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,5,4,11,10,1,0,14,0,11,1,0,3,1,21,29,12,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,4,7,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,4,2,17,4,21,20,2,28,1,3,1,0,13,11,1,2,13,89,21,2,0.11974877524891568,0.2837654344106564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683176660625958,0.0,0.0,0.13225311407897133,0.10189738782277752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073464791094264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315296659574444,0.12555431253269775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315384066416404,0.07722805346654626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694025088210471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089350786953807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054857881396269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944821114552926,0.0,0.0,0.1312983511922861,0.0,0.0,0.06256379261912696,0.0,0.0,0.10043959123663053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058934464762127,0.254949595943797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679666263042186,0.0,0.0,0.08458210135032314,0.0,0.12001973193144636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13396824895310255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067860023838245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313082266745045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136800348653142,0.0,0.0,0.11320129883498604,0.0,0.0,0.12182755488995392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342826353418204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542426994718953,0.0,0.2498481776441686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843460068943222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563152659958307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369431607063812,0.0,0.0,0.07673017993588506,0.0,0.0,0.06982647384178392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880528068663537,0.2118927906767825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12986243861669347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pinkgirlystuffjody,2019/03/28,"Suicide awareness/suicidal seek help/call a suicide hotline/call 911/ER/... this video I made myself is about suicide awarness, everybody can be touched by this topic in many ways, it s important to ask for some help, don t be afraid to ask someone if he or she is suiciadal or thinking about suicide, this simple question could help that person, this word is not tabou or forbidden, when we talk about it, it helps a lot to not commit suicide,this video may help someone like you, well it helped myself doing it,don t suffer in silence,I refuse to sufer in silence and believe me, I feel much better since then,this is a video to help , support,prevent,tips for a better mental health,",14.457076923076926,7.803273861538464,12.334230769230773,64.51826923076926,56.53846153846153,14.53846153846154,50.19230769230769,9.516144504307137,5.158000000000001,542,23,97,5,4,168,82,130,0.175,0.635,0.191,-0.3931,0,0,0,0,0,6,25.0,1,1,0,2,5,6,0,1,4,0,10,1,0,1,1,19,15,6,4,2,6,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,9,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,2,8,4,14,10,3,5,0,1,0,0,16,3,0,8,2,57,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21498223298703004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295434930547658,0.0,0.20338157136385035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918024623634247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813752538485336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221874720803802,0.0,0.0,0.5394823869089468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617359658915126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097752191336838,0.0,0.10879719785537063,0.0,0.116572039353111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587316039777355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845237952756872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003964163812792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880431901110473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511294294063967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948449738013461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6288492653043034,0.1304783512857732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241685893613667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367477273930971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126605880774948,0.0,0.0,0.10338115328520343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kro42,2019/03/28,What are the differences in Anxiety and Panic attacks? And how do you tell them apart?,2.8818750000000013,5.857643437500003,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,83.375,8.200000000000001,26.75,8.841846274778883,2.8607250000000013,69,3,12,2,2,22,15,16,0.389,0.611,0.0,-0.8053,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383623804441616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5031861864256671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621149485840315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5189500256631963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38659436939756375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,atmannaut666,2019/03/28,"Sucks to be me its hard when you're an introvert and you dont have a lot of friends and your remaining friends won't even show a effort to communicate with you.

I tired reaching out to my friends in middle school but they just kept ignoring  me.

I have my real friends but we don't talk about our mental health problems and i find it hard to open up to them. 

I guess it sucks to be me. ",0.5295799457994548,2.6785781097560992,1.9218699186991903,97.51161246612469,84.97560975609754,5.595663956639567,21.30623306233063,6.937597516519254,0.30276802168021666,303,10,72,4,9,97,55,82,0.19,0.6779999999999999,0.132,-0.631,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,2,3,2,1,4,8,2,0,3,0,7,2,0,0,0,17,11,6,0,1,3,0,2,0,4,1,2,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,2,16,4,12,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,12,5,2,2,1,50,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358665644609045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292545332166986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394124296677475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6219490806107395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22170244346325366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605656237518409,0.0,0.0,0.21392211741718173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710977753466171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20281529953763272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257157159725974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22906953424908316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036783894768088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617592276167852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23131027404737825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sarlol00,2019/03/28,"I'm going to see a psychologist for the first time next week, I need advice. 22/m 
I'm going due to eating disorder and possible depression. 
I want to be open with him but I am not sure I will be able to, how can I open up more?
Generally what should I expect?",0.058095238095241086,2.028598142857142,3.4321428571428565,87.07952380952383,85.42857142857143,7.3047619047619055,18.261904761904766,8.344100000000001,0.8851761904761917,200,5,46,5,6,73,42,56,0.14,0.8370000000000001,0.023,-0.7053,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,1,1,13,13,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,7,1,7,9,1,10,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,5,29,8,0,0.2786480611411867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722916603957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399991667539004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31935481900367885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28512653111215946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23701789845926535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167242291872506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20661400659942752,0.0,0.0,0.29634537421698304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141338212961581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22204642804343286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626224999612198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248192527977492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435384598339314,0.0,0.22351466685551385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnxietyQueen1,2019/03/28,"I need some advice, opinions, something..... Cannot cope with my head anymore.... * long(ish) read * Hi... Probably in the wrong place here but this is the only way at the moment I can get any form of answers or anything rn....


Woke up early af to ring the doctors today as I need my tablets (ran out last night - yes It seems I've left it late but I've just changed doctors, only got registered properly yesterday) anyways they're closed....

This has set me off something bad, idk why. I have had quite a few meltdowns before when things get overwhelming, bad stuff happens (and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel), I cannot control my emotions when I need to, they just come out...


I've not been diagnosed with anything other than depression, chronic anxiety & panic disorder and bpd so I have no answer for my meltdowns, just questions & ponders on what's wrong with me... 


At the moment (for the past 3 hours) I've been crying, can't stay still, kicking/moving my legs/arms without really being able to help it atall(extremely strong urges to do so.. But now I've calmed abit I don't feel this urge so much) , I've reacted to every little noise I hear, my head is foggy and even now I've calmed down a little I still feel like I'm on the verge of tears & melting down again - I just feel so sensitive like anything could set me off again.... (just heard a noise which has slightly set me off again..) 


Idk what to do, my doctors are closed and even then they don't listen to me regarding anything. I feel so alone, I feel like I'm just like a child having a tantrum but I honestly don't wanna feel like this, there's no show for anyone to see as I live alone
I'm 20 years old and I feel like I'm 2.
 I just want opinions, if anyone else thinks I'm just child-like when it comes to things that get too overbearing for me, i feel this subreddit would be less judgemental




I'm sorry if this is unrelated, I just feel so helpless",2.7061074664167464,4.474751835051549,3.5933926897844417,90.24126679162762,75.75257731958762,6.661793189628241,24.3864417369572,7.463857097105799,1.0047584192439865,1504,49,317,19,33,480,194,388,0.156,0.7440000000000001,0.1,-0.9748,0,2,2,0,0,0,81.0,0,0,2,3,31,19,1,2,14,1,26,7,2,2,0,59,61,24,0,9,18,0,9,6,0,1,5,4,0,1,18,14,0,1,15,2,0,3,11,9,0,0,7,16,35,10,38,50,5,53,0,3,2,0,9,21,0,8,30,183,53,4,0.07841469147483413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662592897167356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242794346864578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548868563550122,0.0,0.10664935831446846,0.0,0.05998702434779918,0.0,0.07776630328688314,0.10965875102318824,0.08034511803548648,0.25811443887627056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094598399527088,0.0,0.0,0.06672512693015598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876055887614583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295234616333415,0.13509462678855105,0.0,0.0,0.08794874422557987,0.06260775048113744,0.0,0.08613485651485944,0.0,0.0,0.06753845886510164,0.07958926123066835,0.0,0.0,0.08987002996043285,0.2407822783184159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550541277378362,0.08820597358025996,0.06945214193318744,0.0,0.0,0.10358432834511873,0.0,0.06606775956545924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568394169677822,0.2240778850304708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290531954569035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271539209081667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934185270270034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095219218443602,0.0,0.08837905629832431,0.0,0.05255971478482524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722267566596983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391843942144425,0.0884551874871627,0.0,0.085197791725698,0.0,0.0,0.22985674425326755,0.15718424227277233,0.0692416091960237,0.06939453438879126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057643820744042576,0.17443050041892486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358687599225243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228302793193844,0.0,0.0,0.1192758127358766,0.0,0.09200274505660197,0.0,0.0,0.07485569582001453,0.0,0.0,0.08192666287488459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845443000298101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08784240049701471,0.08340367663864726,0.07843591160398664,0.0,0.0502344592817093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497271344222632,0.07138579006884174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12073492098507195,0.0,0.08777882720072919,0.0,0.08357962770548362,0.1252441478083777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976606118811832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041904733928734,0.05024496805060573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743279587289293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04625101668645795,0.06224193218927114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075706243099827,0.0,0.0,0.07558896434694934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570354699631335,0.17146831076647448,0.0,0.05049649038314536
mentalhealth,Irresponsible_Tune,2019/03/28,"I have where these behaviour arise, I wonder if they are an indicator of some kinda of bipolar disorder. I don't want to google symptoms, because that's a recipe for worry. Any thoughts/observations on this? Most of the time, I feel pretty in control. I sleep a lot, work at night in a bar, I can be sulky and have extremely low energy, but broadly I am popular and nice to people. Then every so often I go into this kind of hyperdrive. This time I decided to make a list of the behaviors I exhibit.  


I have these periods of a few days, at irregular intervals, where these behaviours arise, I wonder if they are an indicator of some kinda of bipolar disorder but I don't want to google symptoms, because that's a recipe for worry. Any thoughts/observations on this?

​

1. Forgetfulness. Lack of focus. Overactive thought processes leading to simple tasks being neglected. Leaving the ladder on the train. Forgetting to lock the doors at work.
2. Emotional volatility, quick to anger and laughter, giggles.
3. Snapping wide awake after only six hours sleeps. As opposed to other times when I can easily sleep ten hours, and continually go back to sleep after waking.
4. High energy, motivation to carry out multiple activities in a day, whereas often I will struggle to find the motivation to leave the house.
5. Extremely distractible, circular thought patterns.
6. Little short-term memory.
7. Sociability, chattiness.
8. NO CALM MOMENTS
9. When I speak, the intonation and tone are unpredictable. Words come out sounding like somebody else’s voice.
10. Talking too much, babbling, talking almost unconsciously and saying things I don’t intend.
11. Incessant nail-biting
12. Shortness of breath, the need to take consciously deep breaths.

​

It usually lasts for a few days.  
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mentalhealth,Naked_Grandma-69,2019/03/28,"Bored all the time and can't focus on studies. I'm a first year university student in Australia. I'm currently in my second trimester of my diploma of engineering. I moved away from home to go to school, so I don't know anyone around where I live. During my first trimester I was completely fine studying and doing assessments, I was happy doing what I usually do in my free time. The trimester break was a month long, had no studying to do. So I worked and had my birthday party. But now that I've come back to school I can't do homework for more than 15 minutes without watching Youtube or a Tv series. And on top of that I can't watch more than two episodes of a show, or multiple videos of a channel I like without getting bored and moving on to some other video. I don't know what's wrong with me. 

​

PS. I couldn't even type this out without doing other things. It took me over 30 minutes to write this.",3.6607104247104254,5.034600897297299,4.2976254826254845,87.78682432432434,72.45945945945945,6.7992277992278005,28.88996138996139,7.1686216300943375,1.4837258687258683,726,29,148,7,14,231,108,185,0.025,0.857,0.118,0.9344,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,4,7,7,0,0,7,0,17,0,0,0,1,21,25,10,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,10,9,0,0,2,5,1,5,10,3,0,4,6,2,19,5,29,18,4,29,0,0,2,0,1,12,0,3,12,105,29,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656993049388589,0.1858263680949432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693202712479742,0.0,0.0,0.13613988792516835,0.0,0.0,0.1436825210037414,0.11759352710691845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317354261413484,0.16034391846624144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100864823785878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601639104404819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989947505823508,0.0,0.08691349317102741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16279654756728185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340099422192116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809236676941472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471374417444834,0.0,0.13503975858977574,0.1353380038407658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220670561492326,0.3250802139701963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095461144906649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159972116257557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783491176466971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699105635838185,0.0,0.0,0.14939013040065666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843049832782553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4422564242505812,0.0,0.11133466910920152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720465887894953,0.1858263680949432,0.09848173591208903
mentalhealth,vosvlokken,2019/03/28,"Just got hit by a tram, what do I do? Hey guys, I'm British but studying in Holland. I just did a really stupid thing and didn't look when cycling and got hit by a tram, miraculously, I'm physically fine other than a sprained ankle and a broken bike, but what can I do to look after myself mentally?
I feel so intensely guilty for the tram driver, people who got held up, and I keep reliving the tram hitting me.
I'm going to go to university later to go back to normality a little, but I'm so conscious that this could turn into a trauma and I want to do everything I can in terms of mental first aid, any ideas? ",5.368830146231723,4.698863858267721,7.002249718785155,77.17433070866144,67.8976377952756,10.091788526434195,29.95388076490439,9.606745405546679,2.4868321709786274,478,15,100,9,7,167,78,127,0.145,0.825,0.03,-0.9541,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,9,0,9,0,0,0,0,19,29,11,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,2,3,1,0,3,1,2,0,1,6,3,9,1,16,19,1,14,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,6,65,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311209909544875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826303569429578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394729821650213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732899258453355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749319056998763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640085644549706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287440726720197,0.0,0.462635940188203,0.0,0.0,0.19091742502986636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21766496270019028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138306533858252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19325154820401866,0.0,0.0,0.3238325187977128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3886248695253225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18891801946773726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367382585969892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235223949807298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809789327571927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097276381631374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372743795980578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Goodbyelife888,2019/03/28,"I don’t know if I have the capability to love I feel emotions like happiness, sadness, anger, etc but I don’t know if I feel love. I say I love my family and friends but I don’t know if I really do. I don’t feel sad when someone close to me dies. When someone dies then I just go on like they were never in my life and everything I and they went through just doesn’t matter to me once they’re gone. I’ve never cried when I have been told someone has died. I don’t live with my mom and she always tells me how much she misses me but I don’t feel the same. I’m not effected by separation from family or friends I simply just live. I’ve never been in a relationship or fallen in love with someone and whenever I try to find someone I can only think of them in a sexual way not in a love way. I don’t know how to explain it but I just don’t think I feel compassion or love.",0.2793503289473662,2.0651361510416706,2.9166776315789487,92.15003289473688,83.32291666666666,6.542105263157895,20.001096491228076,7.669130373188453,0.5313708333333333,679,19,163,12,19,237,87,192,0.091,0.6459999999999999,0.264,0.9907,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,1,9,15,1,0,5,0,17,7,0,3,3,45,41,21,3,3,16,1,5,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,8,0,0,14,0,0,4,14,4,0,0,6,6,33,11,17,35,3,20,0,3,0,6,19,7,0,6,9,106,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137863307909522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074302898198085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045073626736153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001345667686764,0.0,0.0,0.10907445863058306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789762831099014,0.0,0.1843969877085312,0.0,0.2472567342207091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938874465506577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511223004109211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555828123845206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411145186023067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499645554526864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908004964959875,0.0955616872243668,0.0,0.17272092726445712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5296177100203366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454386490279135,0.0,0.0,0.07189531183331405,0.0,0.2262915001904539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415534207629554,0.0,0.07438240248590806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626541070355692,0.0,0.0,0.10500214576584224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777563082665573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4143342151435294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548276963663085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253344278511079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345346744061707,0.0,0.06640075814075193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526046213090805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090662915032768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,raefalls,2019/03/28,"I don't know how to help my boyfriend My boyfriend has what I assume to be anxiety, depression and extreme self esteem/ self hatred issues. These have been long standing but have definitely got worse over time. It's now getting to the point where it's getting in the way of making any improvements; we made small, manageable plans for him to develop his hobby, something he has been sad to not make more progress with, and when the time came he refused, insisting he can't. He recently interviewed for a job that he had a great knowledge base for and the reason he relayed to me for not getting it is he was severely under confident. He lets everything frustrate him, he engages in a lot of self destructive behaviour which is then more reason to hate himself. He refuses to see a counsellor. I don't know what to do.",8.130661290322582,7.481288348387097,7.877217741935485,73.09582661290324,62.29032258064516,11.879032258064516,40.020161290322584,11.20814326018867,4.5501774193548385,654,32,118,16,8,209,99,155,0.213,0.6759999999999999,0.112,-0.9631,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,2,4,7,3,0,8,0,16,0,0,6,0,22,28,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,8,6,0,2,6,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,7,1,11,2,20,19,3,17,0,2,1,0,22,7,0,2,7,77,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080958629591362,0.0,0.12160127853945793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18180387623267727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690899053375466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285984219626716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249144613498484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713202472138474,0.17525008962165536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569366234270427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654518351248216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590927569261127,0.15773978734393118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471665790164173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254377901590572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406714901609716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513912209597229,0.0,0.15040847272684965,0.21220938064261333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026526081128605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32686748847250685,0.1569503556368351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666774108522327,0.0,0.4974788535551985,0.17957558672125382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237247067818442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853776133551798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617226167277448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199024170766024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DragonriderRay,2019/03/28,"Long hours and so confused So I have been working this job for almost 4 years last year I saw a change in me. This past month it feels masive. Any way I have been eating less I use to eat 3 meals a day and now I only eat 2 if I'm lucky some times it's only one snacks in between as or if I get time. I have also noticed that im not as active not geting up and wanting to clean the house or what not in my home any more. I often dont want to do much and just want to lazy about I'll work on my home work but often that it. My work call or text me every day demanding me to work more and more hours saying I'm not helping them enough. I am now just ignoring there calls and texts only responding if its important at all. Every so often I get suicidal thought it was never before I took this job but recently it be come stronger and stronger. I ignored it more often but it becoming a headache. I just feel tired and down and ready to give up and just walk away from it all. I have also been frustrated as I dont get time to my self and I dont get to go out and hang with other people my age. With working 75 hours or more and going to school part time it's hard.
So what shold I do?

I'm working on going in to another field to see if that helps but Im worry if it wont. So any thought on how to make it stop or what have you? Do I need to talk to some one or not? Or should I just walk away from the job?",0.013428571428573122,1.5968475333333352,2.2529365079365107,97.61178571428572,83.19047619047619,5.342857142857143,17.8015873015873,6.2581,-0.4431460317460316,1083,23,272,9,30,367,148,315,0.136,0.8029999999999999,0.061,-0.9718,3,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,1,7,21,5,1,1,5,0,19,6,0,3,3,70,44,40,1,10,26,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,3,1,22,17,5,3,4,0,0,8,10,4,0,2,8,6,29,1,38,33,13,44,0,0,2,0,11,14,0,21,21,183,51,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100371853972584,0.0,0.0,0.1293819052204198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650322095675749,0.08482447788684586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520052693065587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934113658374428,0.06883488911698174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520376476270454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557519202808724,0.0696830720533798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433995631636296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844217165899832,0.0,0.0,0.24832446369884198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358519097975116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631347329338578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180493725901568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905523565198913,0.0776009559630353,0.13792187988709942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246519084864114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844316993269072,0.0,0.1622866809108242,0.0,0.23899307028734876,0.09334088715988392,0.0,0.0,0.1747589381307042,0.0,0.2408246248233326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593945778044162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158869978587025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05399741491749824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456886896820166,0.0,0.05946644377834932,0.05998192238996895,0.06239048801398345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209842639704377,0.0,0.0,0.10963182070309832,0.1845707394293769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760038669337754,0.0772225360760834,0.056081757472975495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987312765446396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643302054047963,0.0,0.08186911004771266,0.0644620944779061,0.0,0.08439014959896697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763105850402902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848497481284119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650195832803336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284416994506265,0.18867991366721207,0.09297582492573474,0.0,0.0,0.08987627999273122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986649716189645,0.0,0.0,0.1431402419882619,0.0642099415585954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4122428869570736,0.08215184723006108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041862481568282
mentalhealth,NikiNabs,2019/03/28,"Should I leave sixth form because of my mental health? So I go to a sixth form where only one of my friends from high school went, that one friend ended up finding new friends and leaving me behind. I made a couple of friends but I wouldn’t consider them close friends, my only real friends have a job or go to the sixth form that my high school had. If you don’t know what sixth form is, it’s the last two years of school in the UK where you take your A levels.
I made one good friend at sixth form who experienced the same as I am and decided to leave over it, so I’m feeling kind of alone.
I’m becoming really depressed over this and have missed a lot of days so going in is stressful as there’s a lot to catch up on.
They know there’s a problem and my mam is going to see them tonight but I know they won’t be able to do anything about it, because, like I said before, my friend experienced the same thing and had to leave.
I don’t want to leave cause I’ll probably regret it in a few years when I’m stuck working some shitty job for minimum wage but I feel like if I don’t leave I will end up killing myself. Before going to sixth form I had a couple of episodes of depression but they didn’t last long, but now it’s ongoing for months, worse than ever before, I started cutting myself and thinking of suicide, I just feel trapped.
I can’t decided whether or not I should leave because of this, my friend that left says she feels better now that she did, but I don’t know if I would feel the same.
Help.
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mentalhealth,CausticCrocs,2019/03/28,"Do people really still listen to the radio??? (spoiler: yes, they do) Months ago I joined a mental health advocacy using storytelling group and just a couple of days ago I was casually asked if I wanted to join a radio segment to promote the group and our cause. On a whim I said yes and that was my first mistake. My story that I had been developing is exclusively meant for a crowd of strangers that I would never have to see again, not a very popular live radio station. I’m so dumb. My story has stuff about my sister attempting suicide and how that affected me and my mental health. This, of course, is a very touchy subject in my family. My family blames me for the attempt and in the 6 years since it happened it’s been brought up maybe twice, though never said explicitly. I never told any of my friends nor tried to talk to anybody about it. I didn’t tell my parents about going on the radio before I did, signing the permission slip required for minors on radio for them. Even then I was scared my mom would call in and yell at me on live radio. I thought nobody would have to know. Just like the past of my family this would be my little secret.

Dumb. That’s what I am. Now there’s no hiding. 40,000 people heard it live, most of them living in my small city, and it’s open for download on the website. What did I expect? I assumed nobody listened to radio anymore and my story would just be lost in the noise of endless media. However, in just the day of the recording three friends have texted me about it, five people mentioned it to my parents, and a couple of people promoted it to other youth groups i’m in. Of course my mother found out just 10 minutes into the session. The link is everywhere and everyone feels like they have complete permission to talk to me about my stories and the details of a past that I’ve kept very close and secretive up until now. I know I don’t have the right because it was I who told it on public radio but I feel trapped and violated. 
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mentalhealth,StupidityCure,2019/03/28,"Is this something I should be worried about? TL/DR: None of the advice I’ve tried to use from a counselor actually works. Should I be concerned?

Over the past 4 years or so, I’ve been dealing with a lot of my own stuff (of which I won’t get into too much detail about). More recently, in the past year or so, I’ve felt really slowed down. I don’t find a lot of joy doing what I’ve done before, struggle with any positive outlooks, keep falling behind in school, I oversleep, yadayada. I don’t even feel like dabbling in photography anymore which used to be my absolute favorite hobby. 
It was this school year, around October, when a teacher of mine became worried about how I was doing in their class and they suggested I visit our school’s student specialist (pretty much a counselor on a lower pay grade). This got me working closely with the specialist, whom we can call Jackson. I’ve gone to visit him about once a week and we’ve always talked through different things and worked on finding me a way of coping/getting past what I’ve struggled with for so long. Over the time I’ve spent with Jackson, we’ve tried many different methods of distracting myself from the issues, changing my mindset, creating exercise routines, you name it we’ve done it. The issue is, nothing I’ve tried and attempted to stick to ever works.
As I keep falling along this path of fumbling for an answer and trying to stop myself from going farther (which always seems to be consuming me more), I’m starting to realize that I’m out of luck to try anything and I really don’t know what’s going to fix my problems or at least stop the descent. Should I be really worried if I can’t change what’s happening even if I throw all of the energy I have left into it?

On a side note, I’ve been trying to stop my suicidal thoughts for about 2 years and that’s probably not good. I don’t want to tell Jackson because that’s going to put me into a farther pitfall with my parents and other people than I’m already dealing with. Thoughts?",5.5127088607594965,6.099044220253166,6.1360506329113935,79.21167088607595,67.55696202531647,8.851645569620256,32.7620253164557,8.841846274778883,2.740987848101266,1597,67,296,25,25,521,202,395,0.103,0.843,0.054000000000000006,-0.9098,5,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,2,1,2,5,15,8,0,3,20,0,26,1,0,3,2,58,49,19,1,7,6,1,2,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,22,23,0,5,10,1,2,10,8,4,0,0,12,2,34,4,62,28,10,50,0,0,0,0,17,21,0,9,19,197,56,11,0.0,0.0,0.07878216683096805,0.0,0.0,0.07888975575898373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908906905057813,0.0,0.13434992626248687,0.0,0.0,0.05490009675700641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006382114922468,0.0,0.0,0.06643503483117183,0.07186803110347917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921309092647037,0.0,0.06869644566988703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824357502137831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080615964549722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664609853120835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686941877530124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16523243193566475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664461068557686,0.07302614181391599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04082020396947287,0.05767450345554157,0.07751477099532182,0.0,0.1475740105075488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435761254325706,0.0,0.13764448595611034,0.06771363888633952,0.06456824772985678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139047965883316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852514127857973,0.0,0.14351549360798235,0.0,0.0,0.04436784702614844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771486454578227,0.0,0.0,0.03944126715557526,0.0,0.0,0.07144471776601775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726983948554008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184893306055893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869368503690815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746392228097505,0.0,0.0,0.08597626918968876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896426271817168,0.0,0.2312016691866574,0.05596896362782969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821328218947936,0.0870420661735997,0.07724901352189523,0.0,0.08115732021495542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551557394449468,0.0,0.07971248366615259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24511335498238826,0.0,0.07349480285289407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06215094913637888,0.0,0.0,0.05714207583615045,0.0,0.0,0.2024851087457972,0.0,0.16879590320678664,0.09241809838539801,0.08830701033746648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488881332699359,0.0705627715952918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053634331803110766,0.0,0.0,0.1281833724328778,0.04707510829359692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288677858958121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394519578079328,0.0,0.0,0.047617450893785336,0.0640807999886567,0.06475783155149678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350935815911283,0.2459598605728765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795340932100687
mentalhealth,Bad54,2019/03/28,"What can I do? So I’m an emancipated minor (my parents threw me out) in Ontario Canada. I’m 17 and live in a small town and make minimum wage ($14hr) and I only get around 10-20 hrs a week. I need more $ to live off, I still need to get a drivers license and finish high school and go to college but at my income rate I don’t make enough to even get a license. I currently am a cashier and have only worked 3 weeks but I really want to make more money, I don’t know how much I’m worth but I know that nobody is worth 14 an hr. I want to change jobs but all the jobs that pay decent money are jobs I don’t know how to do like manager, auto technician, receptionist, doctor, driver or labor work. Like there’s a job on a farm just out of town that pays $25hr and long hrs too but I can’t work there because I don’t have transportation there. I’d take all the hrs and labor I can to make a decent amount of money but I don’t know what jobs I can do, it dosnt help that because I’m 17 most places don’t want me as adults who can drive normally are 18 :(
Dose anyone have any suggestions?",2.173739495798319,2.8135288949579857,4.099411764705883,90.60735294117649,75.17647058823529,7.280672268907563,21.56302521008403,7.5105763829236425,0.4981109243697479,839,18,201,10,17,287,122,238,0.026,0.877,0.097,0.9236,10,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,11,2,0,0,12,0,21,2,0,6,2,38,44,19,0,6,8,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,8,11,0,0,4,0,8,4,7,0,0,0,1,0,20,2,19,43,8,23,0,0,0,0,5,13,0,2,8,112,28,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898115192015114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120981326862307,0.0,0.0,0.10339180107294857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159926267990472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286378386151875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887717534734862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000665841555178,0.0,0.07671128737080027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820396084561528,0.0,0.06600668425284241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784813493316489,0.12271134620356285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5762695151789978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553163927453401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11348310466284205,0.0,0.20511260982861315,0.10278280806581692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101051395047646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537839205780835,0.17223697133395174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379537850819428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666381185931132,0.0,0.0,0.1289629413095174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134460645797306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440411312098953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175428112219206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275186669192896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732500355345768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551226747769413,0.0,0.1863256509155637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25366023440657715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AugustSAT,2019/03/28,"Want to Start a Mental Health & Wellness Club at Our School... Advice?? Instead of just presenting facts/research everytime we would meet, I want the club to be more interactive. I was thinking about maybe making stressballs? that would be fun. But I mainly want to create activities (skill development / community building related) that can help de-stigmatize mental health in the school environment and help people understand what mental health is. I want this club to actually make a difference and I was thinking about also working with the supervisor/principal to create a school-wide assembly. Any help is appreciated, and thank you in advance.",7.596666666666668,10.47952755555556,7.445555555555559,63.05500000000001,65.1111111111111,10.725925925925926,35.14814814814815,10.746095033038511,4.7901037037037035,528,25,73,16,9,168,72,108,0.0,0.7340000000000001,0.266,0.9751,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,1,0,3,6,3,0,0,6,0,9,3,0,2,0,18,20,5,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,8,3,12,14,2,6,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,2,49,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.13265515392994806,0.0,0.0,0.1328363145451124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870897554204882,0.0,0.14728796147974801,0.0,0.0924419964443905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202550109771106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43348484335967824,0.0,0.0,0.2733476343812848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18147834962237794,0.0,0.1365672461570539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4109783476926057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424177810797313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4127272851638977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621709037509804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515276276614373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420621113113569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151547892377309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32071726545017243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122223919712027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896394231205333,0.0,0.0,0.1931318546967594,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,netoliveslife,2019/03/28,"Is Social Media Reinforcing Your Anxiety/Depression? Hey! So I've been very passionate about mental health since I experienced depression and PTSD (with hospitalizing panic attacks). So... nowadays I work as a social media manager/advertiser and I thought about sharing my perspective (and those of it's founders) on how it affects our psyche. 

​

I hope that video sharing is not against the rules (I read that only products and services are not permitted) but here's the video:  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnROLrxG\_8Y](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnROLrxG_8Y) 

If you want to talk about anything, send me a message or comment here :). ",9.102596063730086,13.455894536082475,6.461462043111527,64.44330834114342,67.55670103092783,8.47572633552015,35.62230552952202,9.095868883498916,4.244760824742269,538,26,66,12,11,153,73,97,0.047,0.843,0.109,0.5965,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,1,2,0,2,8,7,1,1,4,0,4,2,0,4,0,17,7,11,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,1,10,4,9,5,0,2,0,1,0,1,12,1,0,3,0,46,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202733944677112,0.2470294301897233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672970051068896,0.0,0.0,0.2312809252744643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35020069227766465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609636193353465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20192087379958412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20487665746628586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461735762847206,0.0,0.2385265043922691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237644586807136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20335310432541726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681702800248663,0.0,0.0,0.4144735995565944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340330312361745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139597402950018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16774221450289628,0.11991048014950155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480034300425843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470294301897233,0.0
mentalhealth,picturepie,2019/03/28,"traumatized by a movie. I made the mistake of seeing a horror movie in a theater. Let me just say that i normally hate horror movies, because I find them corny and not scary. but this one was so disturbing to me and I don't know why. for the past couple of nights, I have been scared to go to sleep. i turn out the lights and my mind immediately starts seeing images and hearing dialogue from that movie. I know that this is totally irrational and stupid. I know that nothing is really going to happen to me. but i just can't shake this feeling of aeful dread and anxiety. I never expected the movie to effect me this way. Is this normal? Will I ever get over it?",2.2014685314685316,4.448346606060603,3.835151515151516,85.65157342657344,79.15151515151516,7.0918414918414925,21.51748251748252,8.139509932561175,1.2109048951048944,520,15,103,10,13,173,83,132,0.247,0.7140000000000001,0.039,-0.9845,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,4,7,2,4,7,0,10,1,1,2,3,27,25,9,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,10,7,0,0,6,0,0,3,4,7,0,1,3,6,17,0,15,20,1,12,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,5,75,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810619185721082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005039728367434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19975479898193574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16330118201116187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912822092551158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500262612407374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432031802430764,0.0,0.20520055508549614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15964351152958853,0.0,0.0,0.17823759490657926,0.0,0.0,0.20347225150772824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976463640016556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846058084223398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082337982675092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228546805655346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923711143225828,0.0,0.0,0.16941669176713628,0.3537653057468958,0.17322495420802045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233289497861748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17233785474313534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565317577979715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356598679593816,0.18074364128906548,0.0,0.28772064837721123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806619934521848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778120676829482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963665568996379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329759347048454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290170325320713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,oddchamp,2019/03/28,"Thinking about death Lately, I can't stop thinking about the inevitable event of my own death, especially when I'm trying to sleep. I'm not suicidal (though i have gone through brief suicidal periods) but I'm terrified of my own death to the point of panic attacks in my own bed. Not only that, but I can't even handle the mention of death or even ageing without feeling supreme fear. The only thing that has made me not think about it at night has been a) utter exhaustion and b) anxiety about other, more immediate events in my life, but neither of those are very sustainable options. I'm young and not horribly ill, so unless I'm very unlucky, I'm not in any danger of dying. If anyone can give me any advice about how to stop having these thoughts, or at least to feel less horrible when they do happen, I'd be extremely grateful.",5.946111111111107,6.436655339506174,6.388493827160492,78.11422222222222,66.5925925925926,9.442962962962962,32.24938271604938,9.3871,2.86580049382716,663,26,123,12,10,215,101,162,0.222,0.645,0.133,-0.9677,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,12,6,2,2,5,0,11,4,1,2,0,26,27,14,7,1,13,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,7,2,0,2,6,0,0,2,9,5,0,0,4,2,10,1,23,22,7,19,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,4,11,83,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739355064254226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21906319967837787,0.0,0.12321639530231375,0.0,0.0,0.11262232258839228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832378291460816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716290524024774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21276747242030966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18124600915587255,0.16288139768962304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451087174957842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424316879609349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18169144855004607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376692200981108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240620867580065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115118144139733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449985784735415,0.0,0.18897831201070686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226109460946818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611840809014831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693197184782601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523639734949682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700626257003606,0.3096171503380812,0.1582482561114226,0.12786980975187331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935443606524872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657955402521102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526357262640111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,keescarriere,2019/03/28,"need neutral third party opinion Hello. I found out a little over a month ago that my friend cuts herself. I have not had a chance to talk to her privatley, but  one of my teachers got me to talk with our school social worker. The social worker said she had already been seeing her. What do I say to my friend now?",2.1366666666666667,4.2474470317460336,3.1145238095238104,91.43464285714286,78.6825396825397,4.834920634920637,20.02380952380953,5.46131890053228,-0.12035238095238032,245,6,49,1,6,78,48,63,0.047,0.823,0.13,0.7415,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,2,1,3,1,0,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,10,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,6,3,12,2,8,4,0,6,0,0,1,0,14,3,0,1,3,36,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432916714474986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543684880171164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527373204305108,0.3561758666365409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18435625968471933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310270096440029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839872452973708,0.0,0.0,0.1709168651166237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619645357294318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21926346132356725,0.18330717993018228,0.0,0.2332838142177152,0.18368299427591975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4699425414111843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.370543087072592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,codykruizenga,2019/03/28,Not wanting to be around people. So recently I have been feeling a little anxiety and just like I don’t want to be around anyone but at the same time I don’t want to be alone. I want to do things but I feel like I don’t want to be with friends or family. I’m just scared if I keep staying away from people I’m not going to have any friends and I will really but stuck feeling like this all the time. Not sure if this it the right place to post this but I just want to see if anyone has any advice. ,0.18345454545454487,1.9803060727272737,2.1481818181818184,97.47227272727274,83.72727272727272,5.454545454545455,17.272727272727273,6.574015621080383,-0.3801818181818177,388,8,95,4,11,129,56,110,0.11,0.664,0.226,0.862,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,4,0,13,0,0,0,2,32,28,11,0,9,14,0,3,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,2,4,9,6,14,21,2,13,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,4,6,64,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14347380821728778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206442468686962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19968944959823387,0.0,0.11231924940164206,0.0,0.0,0.2053242136805196,0.0,0.0,0.26140732753683144,0.0,0.0,0.1379451107304716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384117268342704,0.0,0.22271447259639096,0.20978086617704772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268702848454961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344293624370128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050309389363424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151910122658002,0.1471552915134002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20357726491617767,0.0,0.15339886217286616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061591882516075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405862054275986,0.0,0.14497007227378686,0.0,0.0,0.12538610259333974,0.0,0.0,0.1469955101267063,0.0,0.1169989803805992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649386098433846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383790092514187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754272606054552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122742982644984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5196003170452016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway012358,2019/03/28,"Nothing I can do will ever change that I’m a terrible person I have only 1  or 3 things to look forward to but I really want to just end it I need a gun

I",-1.7839189189189213,-0.2474716216216173,2.6877702702702737,92.26787162162165,89.54054054054055,5.8621621621621625,17.35810810810811,7.1686216300943375,0.1178162162162164,118,3,30,2,4,46,29,37,0.166,0.773,0.061,-0.5041,0,0,0,1,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,8,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,7,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3878863568034646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247592087825574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316723958714652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079089558697438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718798380525616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35182804483908714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27886770294473784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32016054542524136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348970499087211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435980717074247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21627041537369032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DepSheriff,2019/03/28,"I fear what lies beyond death Lately I’ve been thinking of death. Not necessarily wanting to die, but more or less the concept of death and what lies beyond it. I’ve always gotten existential every now and then but lately it’s been on my mind every day. The mystery of what is past it scares me. I don’t mean to bring up any religious discussion but faith makes me want to believe that there is eternal life but I don’t want eternal life. When I think of forever and never ending I get really anxious and scared. I feel like I’m stuck in some never ending timeline that I can’t do anything about. I don’t know what to do with these feelings. I feel hopeless. ",1.8766917293233083,4.250474225563913,3.375150375939853,87.7849812030075,81.18045112781955,5.604511278195488,22.281954887218046,6.868970318607317,0.7117458646616543,524,17,103,6,14,172,80,133,0.253,0.68,0.067,-0.9805,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,3,2,0,10,2,0,1,2,26,26,11,4,3,6,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,7,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,4,3,12,2,15,22,3,19,1,1,0,0,1,5,0,2,14,68,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333073501669489,0.0,0.0,0.10894812712121482,0.0,0.0,0.18099142108121105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183897748167672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805015313176871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033220380527214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627243167090178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28379658003628266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699672564940321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028051516382465,0.2430205974425253,0.11445388087272135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837029844927554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804709141578224,0.0,0.361447163421888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263217756247833,0.07827039370998948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694125540820076,0.0,0.0,0.17451539012527395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176618172619175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24712727910919105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293833911121696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102634471358965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207958268351872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20531188383666565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834875928976712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Twezzz,2019/03/28,"Upset when I think about getting Anesthesia before my operation I had my first operation yesterday with general anaesthetic. The doctors couldn’t seem to find a vein in my left hand, they tried 2 places there with no luck and switched to my right hand.

They managed to find a place on my right hand but it took them quite a while. It was super painful and I could tell they were concerned with how long it was taking since they stopped trying to distract me.

For some reason when I think about it I get nervous and almost cry. I guess I was just unlucky but I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about it.",5.423644067796611,6.5099506440678,5.162500000000001,84.32137711864408,67.98305084745762,8.272881355932205,30.00423728813559,8.472884824447931,2.0849288135593222,488,18,95,7,8,150,76,118,0.147,0.7120000000000001,0.142,0.0873,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,5,3,8,7,0,3,4,0,8,6,4,2,0,25,17,9,0,2,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,6,4,19,3,14,9,1,15,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,5,7,64,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376389455695745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133527921196295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476601152389955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854852101781412,0.0,0.19061309321137254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17761394445014692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774130835205378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172041171174792,0.147603396115043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813231335036021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19116139128801035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885394052152625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356741030303495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464673713430912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626010481453127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456909818559986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784163715744394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963850681758366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579739818108619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354470713334114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507773631288526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047196221590446,0.13947576996382466,0.15167170417247647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22238032698830398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19279673478408926,0.2356291493212601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Traveler412,2019/03/29,"My friend is dealing with depression and I want to help but need some advice (PS I am a first time poster here but that’s not important)

So my friend was diagnosed with depression and has committed self harm in the past. I really want to help but the only thing I really know about mental health education is some of the warning symptoms for psychopathy, sociopathy, and depression. She is a good friend of mine and I really want to help, what should I do? (If there is another subreddit that you all think that this would fit better for better advice please tell me) ",4.410893042575289,6.548795364485983,5.037320872274144,80.12291796469367,71.99065420560748,9.989200415368641,24.973001038421607,10.25414643259724,2.774504465212877,452,14,84,14,9,145,70,107,0.14300000000000002,0.5479999999999999,0.31,0.9628,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,4,10,0,0,5,0,10,3,0,0,2,23,16,9,0,7,5,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,12,6,11,13,3,5,0,3,0,0,11,2,0,3,3,60,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919716502087225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566523530359189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642532297759742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401837700392515,0.3860178053049247,0.15163149244821356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12707423143549199,0.0,0.0,0.34626367839911204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530437378766168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587985502930276,0.0,0.0,0.30040640680320185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210288768042953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15055374326261908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077355871899372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362066451212073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426132206773719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16398945475512436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871163489432969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585024319709326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527728854823242,0.0,0.0,0.13057670585849404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925055676581387,0.09572547069441087,0.0,0.0,0.08711268605157656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643488799483592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10612502032441933,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kiwiqueen81,2019/03/29,"Running out of strength For the last year I (37f) have been supporting my daughter(19) through her depression and bipolar, I have in the past also fought this battle and I have been doing ok. 
But I'm beginning to feel drained, putting all my energy into my daughter. I feel like there is nobody to help. Shes not close to her father and my family live far away, all her friends have turned their back on her. She is alone and I'm the only one to get her out of the house and makes sure she goes to her appointments.

I dont know how much longer I can do this, every night I lay awake worried about what I might find in the morning.

Help I'm drowning ",4.065378787878785,4.8549432651515145,4.343636363636366,90.0437878787879,70.89393939393939,7.684848484848485,26.78787878787879,7.793537801064563,1.2791606060606062,509,16,111,6,9,159,85,132,0.109,0.725,0.165,0.7906,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,5,9,2,0,5,1,14,1,0,2,3,21,26,8,1,0,2,2,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,3,2,22,6,17,22,3,17,0,1,0,0,16,9,0,1,7,75,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20308420262815466,0.0,0.15680854676909362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184227657960352,0.15077672592924948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688871233908253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229809343493922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16520948285440715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18485083040564004,0.0,0.19829223117822173,0.1400826656923131,0.0,0.0,0.17921750115055873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149424657589966,0.0,0.10244595556516517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26286235088606963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262549596057317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776280522714173,0.15983487848130956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095796886152555,0.0,0.17314603253570346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308877952921708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20801445920519726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414452491672325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840118358411433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287179884092062,0.14913094880725666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871846552156569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711888399558045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22251414405447367,0.1848071356082603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132834153235188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19913312849422066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627186266088422
mentalhealth,ThroDatSht,2019/03/29,"I'm a normal person but i feel so f****d up Making this from a throwaway for obvious reasons.
I'm a normal guy in my 20s, never had any issues with socialising in recent history but was bullied pretty significantly from 3rd to 10h Grade.
Never had a real girlfriend but otherwise no issues with the other gender.
Have a reasonable group of great friends who are actually surprisingly successful in contrast to me.

I have had ticks for as Long as I can think. As a child with severe ADHD I've been called useless and a lost case too many times but still got my highschool degree without any issues.

Whenever I'm nervous I bite my fingernails, pull out hairs from my beard. My bodyhair is probably a little more than what you'd expect of a Guy my age and many comments, though mostly as jokes, have made me feel absolutely disgusted at some parts of my body. I've been pulling hair from the back of my hand for years which led to some kind of inflammation that's been going on for 5+ years now which makes me feel ashamed whenever I Show my Hands but it's Like an addition, I can't stop. 
I also tend to Just randomly pull Hair from my beard and chew my lips to a point where I literally changed the shape of my upper lip.

I Always make weird Shit with my nose even when I don't have a cold which gets even worse when I'm aware of doing it.
Breathing gets hard when I have to attend to some social Events, I get nervious and my stomach goes crazy, sometimes I feel like I'm choking.

I'm currently unemployed after my timed contract expired a few months ago and haven't been able to get Back on Track ever since. Every time I've applied and didn't get an answer or was declined everything got worse to a point where I've basically given up.
I'm just living from day to day, thinking about the next week or the next months/years makes me anxious to a point where I Just want to cry and can hardly breathe.

I tend to almost tear up whenever people ask me about my future or my plans or why I'm wasting my intellect or talents.

I have no reason to get up in the morning and trying to do so makes me feel like I have 200kg of weights on my chest.

I have painful stomach aches and worse after almost every meal, If I'm nervous or going Out it gets even worse.

I've never talked to anybody about this because I feel like I'm Just so lazy and don't want to do anything about it that I Just come up with some kind of mental health issues to get an excuse for my shitty attitude.

The only times I feel good are when I'm lost in games, music, movies or when I'm drunk and with friends.

I sometimes think about what would Happen If I commited suicide. I'd never be able to do it, Not in a thousand years as I still enjoy quite some things in my daily life.
But I sometimes Just stop and think who would be sad, who would and wouldn't care and If people saw it coming or If the Smile i wear when I'm with other people really is good enough to show any of the Shit going on in my head.

I don't even know why I'm making this post or If this sub is the right place but Just writing this makes me realize more and more how messed up my mind is and that I really need to fix some shit before i'll ever be able to live a normal life.

If anybody has the patience to read this i'll appreciate it, maybe Share your thoughts If you have ever though something similar.",6.841063447212948,5.415553540029116,7.1132926620429835,80.05266696634989,65.27365356622997,9.945526158061478,31.414033735765052,8.671277953709913,2.2262474013186058,2650,77,553,32,34,863,293,687,0.16699999999999998,0.722,0.111,-0.9933,3,0,1,0,0,1,45.0,0,3,0,5,41,32,4,3,30,0,45,27,19,13,9,123,107,57,1,18,32,0,15,4,3,4,4,0,0,4,27,28,4,2,18,6,0,10,15,14,0,1,18,18,61,18,86,81,13,85,0,4,1,0,23,32,3,26,46,344,88,5,0.16675312860349026,0.0,0.05424233302967292,0.0,0.06680161851246666,0.0,0.0492721957329829,0.0,0.11131944723791626,0.0,0.0,0.044450805565988384,0.04625065377090662,0.0,0.0,0.11339784565880605,0.0,0.0,0.06279452364365494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045741205517767336,0.0,0.05196388840885114,0.0,0.0,0.08548190855982547,0.0,0.03388371981670182,0.0,0.047298210164436735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06174171135885542,0.0,0.0,0.05675786280721176,0.0,0.05667197604156681,0.0,0.05880089979556542,0.09576203664055127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105682721574855,0.07169464853807664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057433519256146086,0.0,0.14685182500852512,0.15083775161863805,0.09366446856793598,0.0,0.049955653228338094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967359151166015,0.119128468393184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588870234002413,0.0,0.2323243392366713,0.0,0.09476964581272017,0.09324307514933852,0.08891180675494195,0.061281970991868724,0.0,0.11007454280465848,0.04915308030446738,0.0,0.09958536638419542,0.0,0.05704560607531594,0.05908359265922435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320625899188175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576514851849988,0.030547719503139174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852177747235647,0.10862287414638888,0.055710147493142785,0.09816404507721388,0.049190423799716984,0.0,0.0,0.12135382544495465,0.0,0.0,0.05259528073553184,0.2597210191382199,0.1127076663103172,0.055841976942019735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601597762596573,0.0,0.05612437463868086,0.0,0.044366918777886885,0.0,0.0,0.04121511064608921,0.1714803903777424,0.0,0.11822922936187336,0.0,0.16338266098984666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04227442282890465,0.05914569526795034,0.0,0.0,0.060192462767941386,0.0,0.11560562319668373,0.04853413330951948,0.058073842598806276,0.0,0.15763560590473333,0.0,0.05323446745997678,0.05654929354054,0.05992935877365749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059120826106043925,0.055599418122768494,0.063267189085536,0.07121754942752484,0.1714499888987384,0.054882865749539114,0.0,0.0,0.047468753567921816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279452364365494,0.17116969020463507,0.04597997038669707,0.0,0.0,0.05666127163153334,0.0,0.04279156840657693,0.16492310805530958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877950927102987,0.09294205481556364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080028585475208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04467661609174625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036927789682788086,0.14246489548385807,0.10922273480070073,0.044127785868652014,0.12964678704244395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03773814278631001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557021044994946,0.0,0.04458643379068617,0.06768679569488348,0.0,0.0,0.10031250784978324,0.0,0.0,0.0535813551248312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22658091222038304,0.11845663817892935,0.0,0.0,0.14317806347276044
mentalhealth,Calswei,2019/03/29,"I feel helpless I recently found out that my sister has been cutting again and has been dealing with a lot of pain and sadness recently. 
Now it's got to the point she is hurting herself again and I just don't know what to do. 
She just doesn't seem the same anymore, she was once so dedicated to her studies and grades, now she is skipping her lectures. She used to laugh and smile all the time, now she gets annoyed and rants about how people in her life are annoying her. 
I know I can't magically fix whatever she is going through, but I'm now just laid in bed, not able to sleep because I'm so worried. I just want her to be happy again.",4.767954545454547,4.811823371212121,5.416212121212124,85.61931818181819,69.07575757575758,8.41818181818182,31.65151515151515,8.07648339933343,2.028269696969697,503,20,109,6,8,163,83,132,0.134,0.768,0.098,-0.2313,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,15,9,3,0,4,0,14,3,1,2,1,25,26,10,0,1,6,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,5,1,20,2,13,20,3,15,0,3,0,0,15,4,0,2,10,79,23,2,0.21009035245480892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20835317667343287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806912886830027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21659392834448868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622799470993656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23035322759154855,0.0,0.0,0.10976353799811392,0.0,0.11939918883414015,0.0,0.16802844697705402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223645086802374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22490606749489456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23092032674357235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839302904869306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861130475497838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237393687570121,0.0,0.0,0.22355094748312265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565019754982134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19860329027289755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4148777551203065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19125836643304456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21024207719479274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250537401825926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814506101854576,0.0,0.0,0.12391673313118465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335695094625032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fleshtones,2019/03/29,"Would certain mood disorders or mental illnesses present a unique pattern on mood tracking charts? Looking at graphs like [one](https://m.imgur.com/r/bipolar/VLGn3XN)  [two](https://images.app.goo.gl/9UybxZV5vkyiM2fs7) and [three](https://images.app.goo.gl/2ennJ6YtvuK145mx6) could we watch for any unique patterns that might suggest a specific disorder?  For example, a fairly consistent line with sudden spikes indicates “normal” mental health, or a graph with rapid up and downs indicates borderline, while random valleys and hills indicate schizoaffective, etc. 

(I’m clearly not a psychiatrist or mathematician)

",16.47,21.12225805128205,10.356923076923078,43.96307692307696,45.410256410256395,13.405128205128205,47.615384615384606,12.45797560212912,7.8289846153846145,520,27,46,16,6,138,64,78,0.076,0.825,0.099,0.1926,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,0,3,2,0,0,2,17,5,7,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,8,2,1,7,0,0,2,0,2,4,0,5,4,27,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146823172473446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18957756375138368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5442566200903755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648098233187563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25238900726564034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600182951919527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19939089769151855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4785699835680037,0.2518877053667711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23264206838539375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089637540522697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23194565645277776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686714927579672,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nancefance,2019/03/29,"Not having a good night I’ve had depression for around 3 years now, long story short I am now on medication that makes me as apathetic as it gets. I haven’t had thoughts or even felt something (good/bad) for a long time. But tonight I feel like my head is eating at me, I feel so scared and alone and small. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this. I’ve relapsed before and I just hope this is not the start of another relapse. ",2.54795031055901,3.677874043478262,3.516149068322985,93.26239130434784,74.8695652173913,6.9962732919254655,22.92546583850932,7.447530270364453,0.5535726708074531,340,9,81,4,7,109,63,92,0.157,0.7559999999999999,0.087,-0.7514,0,1,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,4,0,8,3,1,1,0,16,17,8,0,1,5,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,4,8,4,8,11,0,16,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,2,13,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817070262161936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18396828402190307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618231619805545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464883740975701,0.0,0.0,0.14928988361805035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110962133152042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952296556141348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158790776035811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774194702634811,0.1253371964829459,0.3369074201067164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916622252874422,0.0,0.0,0.29430813108654225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005611337717056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742554338218875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17142610875966582,0.0,0.0,0.4657871377363848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711020228432607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674132698787862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464226683597835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756500053661961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512905253553698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506532794881687,0.0,0.0,0.12418013432989218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928290296292564,0.20460556204697045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298015484197968
mentalhealth,Iamconfused158,2019/03/29,"Panic attack when high for the first time and I haven’t felt the same since please help Back in November of 2017 I had a pretty bad panic attack after I had smoked weed for the first time... I remember feeling like I thought I was going to die but other than that its pretty hard to remember any other details. Eventually 2 months later I began to get tunnel vision which I didn’t realize what that was until a few months ago. I thought I was losing my vision and even went to the eye doctor to find out what was happening and he said everything with my eyesight was fine. The tunnel vision went away in 2 weeks. I felt fine the following 4 months until May 2018 then all of a sudden my memory started to become so bad all at once I could not even remember conversations from the day or what I had for lunch an hour ago. My self esteem also became so terrible and I felt so confused, tired, and emotionally numb. I used to love music and just laughing and having a good time and all of that just went away. I am a girl, 17 years old and I used to actually love life!!! I know that I also experience disassociation when going out in public specifically in stores or large groups of people. It felt a lot like being drunk except I couldn’t control it and it made my emotions become even more numb. Of course I was going to the beach after this happened and I barely have any memories of it. It has been 10 months now and it has gotten a little better compared to when it first happened but I still do not feel like myself and I get very sad from the fact that this feeling that I can’t describe still hasn’t gone away. I know that I am experiencing disassociation and that it’s part of a coping mechanism from the panic attack but is there anything that I actually can do? All I ever do is research it. I have been seeing a therapist but we have only had 2 sessions and I am scared that she won’t know what to do about it.. we have only had basic conversations lately rather than this whole situation. It’s on my mind every single day and I don’t think I have experienced anything having this much of a negative impact on my life. The worst part is that none of my friends understand and I can’t even tell my parents. I don’t want to go out because I know I will just be faking my feelings and be sad afterwards from it. It is so draining and affects me so much. If I am lucky I have somewhat good days but I haven’t felt truly happy since before when I had emotions. Recently I have been falling into a little bit of depression and I am feeling more hopeless than ever and my self esteem has gone to shit. Is there anything that I can do with this because I really don’t think I can bring myself to live with this anymore. Please help me:(",4.937344720496895,5.395214960144926,6.123175983436855,79.25308695652173,68.78260869565217,8.627412008281574,27.18447204968944,8.591530228387361,1.8404067701863345,2166,63,426,32,35,728,233,552,0.168,0.696,0.136,-0.9791,1,0,1,0,0,1,34.0,2,0,0,6,28,35,4,5,23,0,62,12,2,5,7,91,108,43,1,5,15,1,11,3,1,3,6,1,0,3,39,30,2,1,24,2,1,12,15,21,0,3,32,16,64,14,57,68,19,70,0,5,2,2,19,17,1,8,44,326,103,3,0.0,0.0,0.11988601300888754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108901051423976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824484967164676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354370003710626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091817913837934,0.0,0.0,0.15164532349886428,0.0,0.0,0.20964314758625907,0.17313551079897194,0.04723287434936485,0.10257644472372324,0.0748895530085777,0.13568058869145067,0.052269081383066684,0.0,0.0,0.05432638802470549,0.0670613849604115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889458710625199,0.04904373742945019,0.0,0.0,0.11884424609743745,0.0,0.05290620438387599,0.0,0.06375058719687321,0.0,0.0,0.06287220961602286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20728826262249844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228542192055012,0.11112683668978016,0.05175413311897613,0.0,0.05520581212393448,0.060086506255350475,0.0,0.0,0.1552943927846499,0.08776562704079191,0.29489341362825977,0.0,0.0561423366960733,0.1567470114350162,0.0,0.0,0.04745764751868147,0.0,0.06418519724430982,0.0,0.13963945816435994,0.10304258589160543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295667504524572,0.06538921881954017,0.055025714524942135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234523142786869,0.06490004038396617,0.0,0.0,0.060492328822810165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350326983812361,0.0,0.06929130908001889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677413294872678,0.09002905970037924,0.12313016594320032,0.054240366001099216,0.0,0.0,0.0687200865193463,0.0,0.052222268135885035,0.1108788953646712,0.058122854957369866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202284389544764,0.0,0.19611888739594946,0.0,0.09031049310269856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445635222127838,0.06541678492193354,0.0,0.09343462425255193,0.0,0.21621085744187846,0.06820640762214808,0.1330369468158165,0.0,0.042585119015426665,0.0,0.0,0.13485480966177038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498484048125134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03935112844638654,0.0,0.06065085690188603,0.0,0.20875136914276607,0.0,0.05843028141959102,0.0,0.061498235532898085,0.0,0.04894864371267469,0.0,0.12816162425485406,0.0,0.06305300233360273,0.1016245987227786,0.06904550282585784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04347770518768426,0.0,0.09810991534570357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053689113245429416,0.0,0.0,0.07132042905128885,0.0,0.07871872096626245,0.0,0.09753091386774593,0.10745414740983973,0.07060025841607805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394672971460122,0.0,0.10610484517230204,0.0,0.05068296025673053,0.03623070148318405,0.0,0.049272307097539485,0.0,0.0,0.1708278124251079,0.0,0.06858003981937966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03955639032592095
mentalhealth,Word_Runner,2019/03/29,"Any chance you can just keep going by will alone? Chatting with friends, revealing I only live day to day as though I’m just surviving. 


Not a very deep conversation, but after chatting with friends, we went over why I hate weekends. Because I wasn’t doing work. Felt kinda useless. Someone else asked what I aimed for in life, and the only response I could muster was “To keep living?” 

Guess it boils down to, is it possible to only live on will?",4.035546218487397,5.973747647058822,4.2774789915966425,86.02294117647061,72.52941176470588,6.739495798319329,27.43697478991597,7.447530270364453,1.5104621848739503,350,13,66,4,7,109,65,85,0.115,0.7809999999999999,0.104,-0.4679,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,1,0,2,3,4,1,0,2,0,8,2,0,0,0,15,17,4,0,1,4,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,3,4,1,2,2,3,0,2,2,2,0,0,4,1,7,2,14,10,0,11,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,2,4,40,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942024036960505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780641369592787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195226548380448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560305156837788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831484165154515,0.0,0.0,0.22344576415164674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471644046458287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633371740377834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26768339224325144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845400532583116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083897375195072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103467493920066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079602151994307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223617029138375,0.0,0.0,0.4589116589262352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39526133005831016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529754950721406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678229213092367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702034805799605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293783446715247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605914982808135,0.1563185358148364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611786393002716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LookingForHelpLoli,2019/03/29,"Help with Lolita Complex (25M) Please forgive the burner account, but I'm sure you understand the reason.

Jumping right in: I am only sexually attracted to women who are petite and have an innocent heart. All of my significant others have all been 5'4"" or shorter, and under 100lbs. I want to find out if this is a legitimate psychological issue or not, and possibly seek help without the risk of destroying my entire career.

A couple things I should clarify:

-I am not attracted to a specific age. I am attracted to a body and attitude type. Many people associate this with an attraction to an age range, and that's not it.

-I am not a sexual offender. I have never sexually encountered, nor have I sought out sexual relations with anyone who's a minor or anyone who hasn't given me their express consent.",7.093533333333332,7.628920486666673,8.688666666666666,62.454333333333366,64.13333333333333,12.533333333333335,35.333333333333336,12.06081838636515,4.947133333333333,643,28,102,22,9,226,98,150,0.03,0.72,0.25,0.9845,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,0,0,9,2,1,12,0,13,2,2,1,4,31,17,11,0,3,10,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,9,10,0,0,5,0,1,1,8,3,0,0,2,1,13,6,15,14,2,9,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,4,3,80,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113471147990467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24730045503076575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24634454020070565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034869563665388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263826917585833,0.2984589082079873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23237606643661005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22571982984076666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171203079709707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693261131196626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434904859530132,0.0,0.0,0.2443894962727999,0.0,0.25099071762198183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22890878433458745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901315026540264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20983353354620654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791069101980928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317738477765928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13131756898094005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146149371616876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sapiosexualscientist,2019/03/29,"Anyone else recommended oxytocin? My psychiatrist told me today he thinks oxytocin would help me with trust and relationships. The only place I see it is amazon and eBay. Before I take the bite, I was wondering if anyone else has taken it and did it help?",4.8884042553191485,7.202185021276598,5.813776595744681,74.30875,71.12765957446808,8.104255319148937,24.51595744680851,8.841846274778883,2.026621276595745,204,6,34,4,4,67,35,47,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.89,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,11,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,6,1,1,6,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,2,1,21,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175551915242687,0.4653346697411088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932258963747112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.379387576552946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044100017412519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727023753423235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23724725001360655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437958358932734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809510576317884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17073372731784062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455018437066362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215242549723934,0.21698191066131206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24625544033335284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16130906443804854,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,decipher_code,2019/03/29,"How do I help someone So uh, there's this girl who i used to be in a long distance relationship with. She was kinda secretive and but we would a lot about stupid shit, but she slowly just spoke to me less and less i took that as a sign that she didnt really like me and she was too considerate to break it off and so i did. I still tried to remain as close as i possibly could with her. She didnt seem to have a lot of friends and i tried to talk to her whenever i could even if she was ignoring me. She would often post about her feeling lonely and not feeling so great and i would ask whats wrong and all that, i would ask how her day went and ask whats wrong if she said she had a bad bay (which was very often) and tried to be as nice as i could since i really liked her. She suddenly just stopped talking to me all together and removed me from her follower? (we spoke on instagram). Idk if she just doesnt like me/want to talk to me or if i had done something wrong or if something is actually really wrong. She doesnt respond to my texts and i fear that she might do something to herself. I dont know what to do, do i leave her be or be persistent. Please help me help her.",1.8871259842519663,3.0508419251968526,3.485834645669293,92.6909566929134,76.5984251968504,7.442204724409449,22.542519685039373,8.07648339933343,0.8096998425196844,915,25,222,15,20,304,116,254,0.184,0.6829999999999999,0.133,-0.939,1,2,3,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,0,1,16,16,2,1,5,0,31,1,1,3,2,58,45,32,0,12,14,0,2,3,1,5,0,3,0,1,11,17,0,2,6,0,0,4,6,10,1,0,15,5,48,6,28,18,6,15,0,1,0,0,42,4,1,15,8,166,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.1000299304203148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28748454490681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558725385017718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24552530455357144,0.0,0.0,0.06610713721374731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104898032984839,0.12013490075444168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770347539099754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534643506372552,0.10365904688989516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919497963208783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130119401572013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20612048637142824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056333975434403084,0.0,0.0,0.10853781752230124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502360509222654,0.0,0.0,0.09071355148643312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429188666525575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874142901316006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251952491164806,0.0,0.11555879747194445,0.09817129497492227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970016622453416,0.0,0.0,0.11005182918259032,0.0,0.0,0.09750556946802144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331655006904327,0.0,0.0,0.1052197379481567,0.08479305703892541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685201228394644,0.2367396849216153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186049197287229,0.08569863017540247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471685056371612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388664100502205,0.20878215885596796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853126410215029,0.0,0.08457722232535153,0.060460006259002476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502300705961056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912659691679235,0.4482917732356367,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SubInSpace,2019/03/29,"I feel like my mental state is on the edge I'm overthinking about everything, second guessing myself and other people's motives or intentions and I think the worst or that everyone is against me for what ever reason. I've been dealing with this for a long while and it comes and goes but I've felt like this for a while. 

There's waves of loneliness, like most people I suppose but it feels like I've been in a constant state of worry and ""depression"" for a long time.

I don't know what to do, I see a therapist but for my stutter so I don't how much they can do, I've been on medication before but it didn't really help. I think if I continue like this I'm going to make myself ill or worse.

I don't want this to sound like a cry for help but I need advice or something because I don't know how to move forward from this.

",3.387758620689656,4.08986231609196,4.78109195402299,86.61060344827587,72.39080459770116,8.098850574712644,25.419540229885047,8.344100000000001,1.4091126436781614,649,19,142,10,12,217,92,174,0.181,0.718,0.101,-0.9367,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,6,9,0,0,8,0,13,2,0,6,1,35,29,20,0,3,10,0,3,6,0,0,2,1,0,0,12,7,0,0,9,0,0,4,5,3,0,1,5,5,17,6,19,24,3,17,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,7,15,95,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14595408840440846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910492338914142,0.0,0.12709542586243258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128661494652455,0.0,0.1614064536158626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640663236476813,0.0,0.1539848940612169,0.12864462888976647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510580500089087,0.0,0.14272107857874586,0.13423626389282514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104307527705746,0.2134074188731882,0.1434102264565614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488544246899772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453826000935245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200227399815296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16417007772090386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378221839697744,0.0,0.0,0.2643600186748429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969979660673024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046574943072644,0.15052101351660932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874737508522566,0.10979770714367512,0.11074947701658698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070965738617875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568464368843947,0.15356824481263115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902158127589176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498559017450037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341992748128798,0.0,0.191409320765188,0.0,0.0,0.08709374812265556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880971372072309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168360322838473,0.15221187773718678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,milesfoxx,2019/03/29,"Diagnosis On a throwaway account because... I don’t know why.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder today. Or, at least, my therapist told me that she’s pretty certain that I have bipolar disorder to some degree - and based on what I’ve read and what she told me, it makes a ton of sense. It was our first meeting, and she didn’t want to completely label it before I see a psychiatrist, I think.

Anyway. It doesn’t really shock me, I’ve known something was going on for a while. I’ve been having increasingly hard to handle mood swings, which is the reason I sought out another therapist (I had one for a while who moved a few months ago).  

I don’t know if anyone else feels this, but this is my second mental health diagnosis, and once again it just feels confusing. Like, it makes sense. And I know it doesn’t change anything about who I am as a person. I have a name now for what’s going on with me, and that’s incredibly relieving. But I’m also just so confused. Like what do I do now?

I know, logically, now I’m supposed to find a psychiatrist. That’s what my therapist and my gp have each told me. But what do I do inwardly? I just feel bizarre. Buzzing but tired. I want to talk to people about how confused and scared I am but how relieved I am, too. 

Anyway. Sorry for the rant. I hope you all are well. ",2.0120454545454542,4.070432053030302,3.7700666666666685,86.84160000000001,78.84848484848484,7.102787878787879,23.06,8.109356740369918,1.2662001818181814,1018,33,213,19,25,341,135,264,0.126,0.773,0.101,-0.7499,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,1,1,0,1,17,13,0,4,11,0,24,5,0,5,2,48,45,22,0,4,10,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,22,12,0,0,12,1,1,4,5,5,1,3,9,5,33,7,22,36,7,20,0,0,1,0,14,6,0,7,12,153,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600831655552193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563517512236476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539935601584173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361931760030385,0.12253292837928792,0.09841144933820699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290026439806245,0.0,0.10176131915844032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650916620517452,0.0,0.12538665359684933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213801844417052,0.0,0.0,0.2741184085316156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990115452093283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140317582999893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930205949019367,0.10172223065532236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359302200591056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071281367402775,0.0,0.0,0.12711737523935568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877873025615762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26289165895404465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685016119520016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596529970088866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051745208434853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545469408116901,0.1271040416442497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735824224598907,0.08103651244014724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290786393909923,0.10442038742307064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166487247946685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962123118283947,0.0,0.07661169156064046,0.12295727455915345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972932005213298,0.0,0.09529684516001392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920653537369169,0.0,0.13386994766569724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612100274461713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4165556817432222,0.0,0.07662771829951427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374498123794148,0.11335626440287198,0.342816866838514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410732264431526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075247550399393,0.0,0.10791035317611904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Duckyonquacks,2019/03/29,"Getting a job/ going through an interview Is it worth going to a job interview when I'm perfectly convinced I won't be able to follow through with the job. ? I have extremely bad social anxiety. I'll get sick,  jittery, have panic attacks and cry, and totally go blank as far as my thought processes and being able to deal with job responsibilities. 

 Every job I've tried has ended with me either being fired or walking out after a short amount of time.  Getting ripped off by customers, or picked on by bosses . Basically my non existent self esteem is like a light in the darkness that attracts all the jerks to walk all over me I guess.   Not to mention being expected to pick up on stuff on the go and carry out tasks while being self sufficient to a certain extent without directions. All normal stuff that others can deal with going into new jobs is like a nightmare for me. 

Even after going to a local therapist for a year straight every week my anxiety did not get any better . Two or three days before I'd start getting butterflys from my stomach down my legs and even in my toes. Stress, not sleep, pace and get stomach pain.. Just drive myself crazy basically.  Get in my car and get lost driving there. Then sit in the office and try desperately not to fiddle around to much, cry, or hyperventilate waiting to get into the appointment.  It's been two years since I last tried to work. 

 I'm 26 now. I've been working out, doing microwork online and studying programming online to keep myself somewhat stable..

  I know I won't remember answeres to interview questions and will stutter. Just knowing about it now is enough for me to a complete wreck. It's going to be an embarrassment for me not to mention even if I pass and get hired it's just going to be worse with job training and being expected to jump in and pick up on stuff. I even looked up common interview questions with advice for responses but can't think of anything to say even now..   The jobs for an overnight freight position at Home Depot.

Meds and therapy did not help me and I have no income. I can't rely on my family forever. The things I've tried online have earned a tiny amount of money and the programming could turn into something eventually but it's not realistic.  On one hand I feel scared that I'm at this age and I've missed out on so much. I'm frustrated with my lack of experience in life and work and it affects myself esteem.  I want to work..Not to mention need to. 
On the other is all this other stuff. 

 It's a decent opportunity and I feel bad turning it down.  Physically and mentally its already pushed me to this extant just hearing about it though.. ",4.914608959353053,6.36226212401575,5.8153819961694015,77.82334007235582,69.49212598425197,8.562758033624176,29.67461161949352,8.994212911058018,2.534567503724197,2101,81,379,39,37,691,247,508,0.122,0.831,0.046,-0.9862,9,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,0,0,8,20,21,3,4,24,0,30,9,6,5,7,89,71,35,0,8,20,0,4,2,0,3,3,2,1,2,25,36,0,2,10,0,2,17,13,13,0,4,6,8,32,8,84,53,14,72,0,2,1,0,17,35,0,9,21,264,57,20,0.12665530898625493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188305104395405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988364147505245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04306497665313103,0.0,0.09689096470365947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211326378198476,0.05637503874130857,0.0,0.0720443492629702,0.0,0.0,0.1057518926077322,0.0,0.0,0.05388716967150359,0.0,0.0,0.056008164131915436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639784087699739,0.0,0.0,0.050561979094617016,0.0,0.1391249096462677,0.040841098181924836,0.13057606214887396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608950523721802,0.06543439564050509,0.0,0.20913659267688345,0.0,0.10671256041960396,0.0,0.0,0.06194659771845337,0.059699676639202115,0.0,0.06404072978968102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.330860857201095,0.0,0.2879245234785186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976255104707703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137486912749191,0.0,0.042447191917077895,0.0,0.06352280087794382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5027434037363114,0.0562885290434536,0.0,0.0,0.06960644549636158,0.051620490641351234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04473019518973706,0.06187738636391321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05317928029688534,0.0,0.06912961567999511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034274794409158,0.0,0.06381938090577452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931062252515283,0.04695665338485757,0.0,0.061162243329055135,0.0,0.0,0.062047655669089624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042912457617123284,0.0,0.0673850893123123,0.07430135784228188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188293249377076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173788755225886,0.0,0.0,0.05036069263886884,0.06340202974626939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212910976916828,0.0,0.0,0.05238529020663973,0.0,0.06337338896784027,0.06455456871616172,0.0,0.04875272233808056,0.0,0.0,0.044823639795884496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254161426006732,0.0,0.2899800535441498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242069197270612,0.07352828784506463,0.04207207971108857,0.04057780394058125,0.062219099007433776,0.050275083899893006,0.03692686460244975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17198128185766914,0.13776460618951286,0.12372383314338245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037352291382997865,0.0,0.050797624569153266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06104559907875433,0.0,0.18441314679888648,0.0,0.0645362901613787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156186642972768
mentalhealth,thankyouthrowaway12,2019/03/29,"I feel like I should have nothing about my life to complain about, but I still feel as if im still disadvantaged i live a great life, but my life sucks.",12.0853125,5.140289406250002,10.53375,76.53625000000002,61.1875,14.05,41.375,8.841846274778883,3.332587499999999,119,3,29,1,1,37,21,32,0.231,0.568,0.2,-0.0387,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,5,4,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,2,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816065307386159,0.19893968244663224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30701517479234963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30079638180474405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5900767430982324,0.13604682646763236,0.0,0.245894926108886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672003602341732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4447744763372712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AforAppleBforBallz,2019/03/29,"Advice for a suicidal 21 year old? I am a 21 year old man who recently graduated. I procrastinate A LOT! Maybe I have been procrastinating killing myself too. I don't do anything the entire day, sometimes I don't leave my house for weeks. Every time I try to get something done, I just postpone it for some reason. I know my shortcomings, I acknowledge them, discuss them with people, and then I don't take any steps to mitigate them. I have no hobbies at all. Everything seems boring to me. My behavior has led to my breakup, which I admit is reinforcing my suicidal thoughts. Luckily I have no debt because my parents paid for my college. I can't sleep at night, and can't function during the day. Everyday is a struggle. I hate myself to the point that sometimes I feel I am going to implode.   
Right now I am at a place in my life where I have no idea what I want to do, or what my interests are. I have no hobbies. I make absolutely no money. Here is what my daily routine is like -

1. Wake up around 1-2 PM (A lot of the days I don't even have the motivation to take a shower)
2. Most days I skip lunch
3. I usually stay in my bed, drowning in social media (Which makes me feel worse about my life)
4. Get some coffee around 4-5 PM
5. Watch TV or a movie till 8-9 PM
6. Order dinner
7. Play some video games until 11-12 PM
8. Masturbate 
9. Stay in my bed till 4-5 AM (I have trouble falling asleep)

​

It would be great if you guys can help me feel even 1% better about myself.",0.9752696078431384,3.106504611111113,3.2557148692810465,88.7525919117647,82.95424836601308,6.3086601307189545,22.961192810457522,7.531066641456977,1.0343075163398687,1145,41,246,19,32,392,170,306,0.146,0.768,0.086,-0.9598,3,0,1,0,0,1,53.0,0,1,3,2,11,10,2,1,13,0,30,7,3,5,1,32,47,9,4,3,4,1,3,1,0,1,2,0,3,2,9,5,2,0,11,4,3,4,11,5,0,0,4,4,49,5,29,41,7,40,0,0,1,0,13,14,0,10,20,155,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880701501921458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206444449453156,0.1352988115628526,0.0757197888994058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162910650606476,0.1982449017478965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787610725957477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847738683038558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872384543629299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394665587640568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708730740698814,0.0,0.0938146630493996,0.0,0.10007151797653048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16890119016072816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634844000558353,0.0,0.0632810749915104,0.0,0.0,0.12276047785260892,0.0,0.11025105145443426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099321257185713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463355750130242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847950633301686,0.0,0.12569722747272585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318897539288268,0.0,0.06119340782969281,0.0,0.0,0.11790041234211955,0.0,0.0,0.15729538016363273,0.05439852749556561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932650181119967,0.0,0.0,0.14864999515112556,0.0,0.11186304328472564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449163134147406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23367992469824514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363768385747835,0.0,0.0,0.07719400076060763,0.0,0.1163339323585496,0.0,0.10525892033301973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448327691585025,0.10994174495836584,0.0,0.0,0.0950897429823042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101366141153738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142742914121412,0.11350426020315894,0.0,0.08572037257664254,0.22025009124346034,0.0,0.0,0.23736220699948016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640407679492172,0.0,0.2435911255561587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743819693570816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839709285023005,0.06492734025924858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559731462181768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263300675957173,0.0,0.06567535473687665,0.0,0.08931585961252121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347212159733308,0.07909772522160155,0.0,0.1352988115628526,0.14340765485708204
mentalhealth,XxDontFearTheReaperX,2019/03/29,"How can I stop my last relationship from breaking up my new one? I(f22) am currently dating my girlfriend (f20) and I’m just so afraid of her cheating or leaving me from past pain and broken trust. 
Some background on my last relationship is that my ex would constantly cheat on me claiming that it’s not that It wasn’t really cheating or she would admit she cheated but come to me crying about it and then do it over and over again throughout our whole 3 year relationship. I couldn’t see how toxic and manipulative she was then. And I am only now noticing just how much it has affected and broken me. It’s not just trust that I have issues with but feeling ok to have my own emotions or to be aloud to not be ok sometimes. As she’d fight with me and tell me how worthless I was because of my depression. 
Back to this my current gf has done no such thing to me. She is completely understanding and is always there to help me and is willing to undo what my ex did to me. I am so afraid to be happy with her though and I’m so afraid she’ll leave and cheat on me like my ex did. 
I just don’t know what to do any advice would be appreciated and thank you in advance for taking the time to read this. ",4.804304993252359,4.874378769230773,5.641716599190283,83.9431956815115,69.0,8.529986504723345,28.207557354925772,8.238735603445708,1.6403724156545207,944,29,204,12,15,310,128,247,0.161,0.716,0.123,-0.8246,2,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,1,1,0,1,18,19,6,3,1,2,32,1,0,6,0,46,42,29,0,5,12,3,1,1,2,5,1,0,0,0,15,17,0,1,4,1,0,2,7,12,0,1,6,2,37,7,29,25,4,26,0,2,1,0,22,7,0,4,17,158,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536696273389826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526554548627188,0.0,0.0,0.09420309747817668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065186977481589,0.0,0.08444476195129849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932872824808426,0.145242904155191,0.1496984540171963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521653840731504,0.0,0.0,0.11931308588345922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417611972624178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558242085777545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004340394217164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746454733853154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285171544493664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458617788650327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613080604940263,0.2258359571828523,0.0,0.2933601426527239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767728572436968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183327026786056,0.0,0.0,0.1337902216160157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771388619592275,0.0,0.0,0.09386946753726108,0.10535601143342456,0.14740247482757834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223967816734475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385644685237191,0.0,0.08874393131414396,0.0,0.0,0.4461784064558561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038806883203854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700672648829731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581475907341456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415504993324433,0.0,0.12107868735355665,0.12753703256089272,0.0,0.0,0.09203117089917527,0.0,0.13610205564515196,0.0,0.0807761967161102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421147279901708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546604273761594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952167786383397,0.0,0.0,0.08920683407851147
mentalhealth,flortotheno,2019/03/29,"Help with my mothers situation My mother (44) is often having memory loss problems, can't concentrate on more than than 1 stuff/chores at the same time, gets angry by all of this, etc. And it's making me kind of concerned. She always has had trouble finishing certain tasks and is usually overwhelmed by work, us (her kids), and just her life but recently its become more noticeable. Today she told me she had finished work and didn't remember where she had parked so she looked around the small parking lot outside her work, checked if she hadn't left it at the gas station, went around the block looking for it, and then finally found it just outside her work on the lot. Is my concern justified? Her hearing is horrible and her eyesight is very poor yet she doesn't seem ""to make time""/doesent wanna go to an specialist so I doubt she'd wanna go to a psychiatrist/therapist.",4.8979720279720285,6.8128993939393965,5.236363636363637,80.12685314685316,70.21212121212122,8.713286713286713,30.87412587412588,9.265573868473778,2.887153846153846,700,30,125,15,13,222,110,165,0.14300000000000002,0.8109999999999999,0.046,-0.9584,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,5,9,7,0,2,7,0,15,1,0,2,2,29,27,11,0,4,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,6,9,0,1,3,0,2,3,4,5,0,0,8,3,21,2,19,18,7,21,0,2,2,0,21,9,0,6,9,90,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093107880440825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25875945821994023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051203980255274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208790259948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15920833155320954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935326982169534,0.0,0.0,0.07593198875516469,0.0,0.16519543792557967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380407781800704,0.0,0.09741556395040404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134493414556882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790783801369007,0.0,0.10265501657994848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24409103861183404,0.0,0.0,0.24711870319692786,0.0,0.0,0.1940256312801251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654658408082591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906679075547101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350162909792682,0.0,0.1646371987613699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13230830924541312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633635968808217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637478932385152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874613615730796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949301839307593,0.0,0.13776140236878726,0.1388746432324827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748211458181472,0.0,0.16006691778304832,0.11991730596835384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472779902568174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.423224950436695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wishiknew20,2019/03/29,"Wish I Knew It Is Okay to Speak Up As many of you may be aware, there has been an ongoing problem of student suicides on university and college campuses. Many universities have chosen to stay silent of this issue and have not taken enough measures to try to improve the situation and to offer more accessible resources to their students. In light of this problem, I would like to share the following video to everyone as a reminder, again, that it is okay to speak up, it is okay to talk about mental health issues and it is okay to share your thoughts, feelings and challenges. What you think and how you feel - your emotions and thoughts - are valid and important.

Even for just a bit, Wish I Knew would like play a role to help students through providing additional resources and a platform that can reach many and that can be comfortable for many to access.

Video Link: [https://youtu.be/49mfPFTZsHs](https://youtu.be/49mfPFTZsHs)

If you are attending a university in Fall 2019 and are interested in content like this, please follow our pages on Facebook by searching ""Accepted - ""university name"", Class of 2023"". Let us create a safe and comfortable space for students to speak and support each other.",11.036521739130436,10.37959393236715,8.957396135265704,67.71145652173914,56.53623188405797,11.951497584541062,41.47294685990338,11.00357731598739,4.576233236714977,972,43,157,19,10,289,121,207,0.023,0.727,0.25,0.992,0,0,0,0,0,1,38.0,2,6,1,1,6,19,0,0,9,4,19,1,0,1,0,37,32,17,1,7,3,0,2,3,0,3,1,3,0,0,12,15,0,1,9,3,0,4,1,2,0,0,6,6,12,17,34,20,5,15,0,0,0,0,19,9,0,2,4,109,24,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716541372329678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163054439765325,0.0,0.13928322913098284,0.0,0.08903335828918656,0.0,0.0,0.12880606220283158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363166810620007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432848566624404,0.0,0.0,0.09035281673929628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813899209296065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784094027879026,0.0,0.19756770346671346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.546659439116239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584551926684302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479686399868314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25796855759205445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515195368407446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367762108542578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744804524633864,0.15296811895568174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834619637621706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637364964657065,0.0,0.21403043343991773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151955960144087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214639950452528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100240122797789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915144476750384,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,materisna,2019/03/29,"I'm always getting dark thoughts and anxiety during the night So basically during the day I am ready to do everything and I enjoy doing the stuff i have planned.

But during the night i become so obsessed about what is going to happen in the future that most of the time i can't fall asleep.

For example I have a planned school trip in 5 months, and every single night I keep thinking about what is going to happen on the trip, will I forget something, will I get lost, can I endure it for 7 days, should I just cancel it and say I won't go. It keeps driving me insane.

And those thoughts get repeated for everything that has to do with some prolonged action that I need to do over a few days.

I am probably going to see a therapist before the trip happens, but I am seeking advice on how to cope until then. Hopefully this is the right place for that, forgive me if I'm wrong.

Thanks in advance.",6.017500000000003,5.584874638888892,6.638888888888893,79.52500000000002,66.5,9.2,30.777777777777786,8.548686976883017,2.2523777777777783,705,23,138,9,10,232,104,180,0.079,0.84,0.081,0.5154,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,4,6,7,0,1,12,0,19,1,1,1,0,23,41,13,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,12,6,0,2,4,0,0,11,2,3,0,0,3,2,17,4,22,34,4,31,0,1,1,0,2,8,0,4,12,99,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198657839739034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123871338219223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332640919542824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491716461613309,0.11493265158192716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26132244852611164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113800349887438,0.0,0.2427802518141453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170187182553227,0.0,0.3070483116906819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583197228714276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415268721722726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401087285173027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744233333046966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780973740728572,0.0,0.0,0.1001509768621064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38025561742008623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111698295194394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562580883113452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11534706484416694,0.0,0.10741124419359646,0.0,0.13669570796351993,0.1076314575342678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398170258914444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15462018446537024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435217727208026,0.0,0.15682399242395886,0.0,0.08654591864246351,0.0,0.21445730909018929,0.07875905320762665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767531007691675,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rieader21,2019/03/29,"Looking for resources Hello all, I am looking for different resources and maybe some help in the Houston area.

A little backstory, I am a paramedic who has recently noticed that I’ve been having difficulty relaxing feeling excited anxious nervous all the time, will have moments when my HR will spike and I’ll feel even more anxiety ect. I also am having difficulty sleeping waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares. The dreams and sleep problems have been about a year now and I’ve been able to handle that. The anxiety and difficulty relaxing feeling on edge I’m having more trouble with.I know for sure I had ADHD I was diagnosed as a child. I’m not really sure how to go about talking to someone or really what to do.",3.942125069175432,6.431982338129501,5.388633093525184,75.4729551743221,74.53956834532373,8.305700055340344,32.27504150525733,9.057496981413335,3.3790128389596017,591,30,97,14,13,198,87,139,0.141,0.7120000000000001,0.147,0.2074,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,10,0,17,4,3,1,4,19,26,10,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,5,5,6,5,16,19,5,15,0,0,2,0,5,7,0,2,7,70,10,0,0.17446050817463454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966762801107194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951600535640973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26692362246837137,0.19709071602798428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17707374343240714,0.0,0.18227409901614447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522952027310672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264637424654533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914992723963342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169372011597762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587893275632928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485526161097958,0.0,0.0,0.2930057757298684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752690295474986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371936864295786,0.0,0.0,0.19862444487328404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693514491684644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235277377065911,0.0,0.17225870474992272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34917300293438314,0.0,0.1478198224306202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288539285985734,0.0,0.0,0.1402247480241753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172932529087188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234684735202197
mentalhealth,awokepsl,2019/03/29,"Thoughts feel louder and outside of my own head Recently I quit marijuana, which I'd smoked every day (for the most part) since October of 2016. I have also been addicted to porn for most of my life, which I am 56 days free of, along with masturbation.

I've been learning computer programming and computer science for the past few months, hoping that it would somewhat sharpen my brain from the damage I created with my addictions.

It seems that I've been more talkative to people since, and I have more articulate thoughts. But it also seems that my thoughts exist less in my brain, and exist more in the outside world. Maybe this is the default state of thinking, and I've just been so introverted and damaged from addiction that I never experienced this before.

I feel as if my thoughts are more powerful now, as if they have the ability to change the world around me where they never had before. I've been drawing more, playing more instruments, reading more. I'm improving on everything I'm doing consistently. And I haven't been drinking either, even though I recently turned 21. Because I am determined to get good enough at programming and learn enough to get a well paying job in the field.

At one point last night it felt like I was the things around me in my house for a brief moment, which I am part of the same thing that these things are part of, the Earth and universe. 

I'm wondering if this is normal.",8.074703049759231,7.576609528089893,7.5811904761904785,74.67750000000002,62.33333333333334,11.373889780631357,35.55082932049224,10.7630783206399,3.70325596575709,1132,44,209,25,14,356,141,267,0.024,0.8690000000000001,0.107,0.9596,2,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,2,11,8,0,0,13,0,21,9,3,0,2,42,39,19,0,6,6,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,19,14,1,0,13,3,2,1,3,2,1,1,13,4,24,7,32,25,20,27,0,2,0,1,2,13,0,10,13,154,43,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364365072539266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645331647027039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315551558618925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627097257558746,0.0,0.17507273724377406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296780157223613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882477839876953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268766747889574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077525059199556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21258824363034426,0.0,0.06794588760363184,0.0,0.08667397158191846,0.0,0.09245458677062056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403019798326256,0.0,0.09877310974855866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749259289386777,0.0,0.0,0.08628402818345855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557619800637716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217496001554446,0.0,0.11870030460913203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020844390695385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385428896655407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266143088469483,0.0502579903076147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334860158930427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211133028620551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868222720632316,0.0,0.0,0.0965382637538257,0.10079257255267526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970862881354953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342005706428707,0.09820282229822536,0.07131838894626097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724715063873972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094168766483338,0.1028996899256145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031470852945501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873013397298356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701933169564069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205030460909147,0.06591612855643733,0.10107107163426643,0.326675036271916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189503386398404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249414876884042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156013456065253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307721165551173,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hweb92,2019/03/29,"Don’t be scared of the psych ward Hey guys, I’m 26 and have struggled with depression and anxiety most my life. I grew up in a family that didn’t believe in mental illness. “It’s all in your head, suck it up” was a common saying in my home. I grew up, I moved out, I got married, I started a family. But something never seemed right and I just couldn’t suck it up. For the last 3 years I have battled severe depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and fantasy. I have come close and been talked down 3 times in those three years all by my wife reminding me I had things to live for. 

Last Friday I broke. Not suicide broke. My brain just broke. I couldn’t function. There was no motivation, no functional thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t do anything! I coasted through the weekend feeling that way, then tried to work on Monday with very little success. I started to feel as though it was finally time to end it. My wife apparently picked up on that emotion because that night she sat me down and informed me that she had already lined up babysitters and help for when she needed to work so that I could request admittance to a psych ward. 

Horror came over me. I knew I needed to go. But images if straight jackets and electro shock therapy continued running through my mind. I was terrified. But I went. And I’m glad I did. The first day was nothing but questions and questions and questions. We dove deep in to my life and my depression. After that they agreed I did need to be admitted and I was given a room. 

I can’t speak for other facilities but this one was nice. Well lit, clean, organized, friendly staff. Some rooms had two beds, some had one. I was informed I was in a solo room due to my threat to myself. The bathroom is locked for the first 24 hours while you’re observed and you need a nurse to let you in. Other precautions are taken to prevent suicide but the details aren’t necessary. This unit was nice because it was a locked down unit. No access in or out of the unit. So we were left to our own devices when we weren’t in group or with a psychiatrist. We could watch tv, sleep, get on a computer, we were even given a flip phone from 8am to 10pm for making phone calls to family and friends. 

For the first time ever I was able to truly talk about my problems. How I got to where I am. I had never considered medication or further therapy but now those things were options. I was started on a SSRI on my second day. Hopefully this has positive effects on me. Too soon to tell! I met other people who had very similar stories, which was really nice not to feel so crazy. I also met people with completely different stories! Every experience from this week has taught me valuable skills in handling my illnesses. 

Today, I was discharged on a ‘partial hospitalization basis’ where I will be spending Monday through Friday, 9-5 at the hospital doing group therapy and meeting with psychiatrists for 2 to 4 weeks.  My hope for the future feels bright! I finally feel after years of hopelessness that I can deal with this and rise above it. I truly hope this helps someone go get the help they need. 

YOUR LIFE IS WORTH MORE! ",3.0414372249842856,5.278339856677526,4.024081947539859,85.39790816618095,76.32899022801303,7.175221441225212,26.732841876678677,8.148292428227768,1.8318158523344197,2488,98,479,44,57,802,295,614,0.106,0.752,0.14300000000000002,0.9845,4,0,1,0,0,3,70.0,6,4,2,9,20,28,4,2,25,0,55,9,3,5,5,94,96,39,3,16,15,2,5,0,2,1,6,2,6,1,30,33,0,1,16,3,2,10,16,15,1,8,42,10,74,13,81,43,7,97,0,7,3,0,46,44,2,15,42,336,104,9,0.07149301753590805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889432263737542,0.05717294029374985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938392545995083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05883266183217267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871629598313835,0.0,0.0,0.08054814862075757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980985173055331,0.07300236430271788,0.08176896610389026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061584904182786386,0.07495906867481986,0.0,0.0,0.11416271412527886,0.0,0.0,0.09221416368177562,0.07370616183165572,0.1847304937317984,0.0,0.0,0.07469498681190775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042002203081047,0.06332159328496864,0.0,0.0,0.047220463815760325,0.06466952741372745,0.06023595074256492,0.0,0.0,0.06993388958461823,0.20219176265170405,0.0,0.18074508895489272,0.0,0.0,0.15663421231899588,0.0,0.18243577258145532,0.0,0.0,0.11047065600428936,0.0,0.07470430179406215,0.0,0.08126225884578439,0.0,0.11435899426981938,0.0,0.0,0.07078932747675411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337246172790013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376078793856345,0.0,0.07171332577286096,0.2130260935188468,0.07040622110116641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655270267541035,0.0,0.0,0.07767737273851019,0.07310645423059961,0.15149289775597996,0.0,0.07165478546059345,0.06312964429700686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04772214435759794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07202169372051223,0.07204814633901349,0.0,0.14437513468581842,0.0,0.0,0.07598576334202352,0.0,0.2650558330906997,0.11027964505683964,0.0,0.0,0.067091353887622,0.0,0.06859947850304943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689103787233584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912851309797968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684091624389449,0.0,0.0,0.24026562475775964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045800257716842575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105464634445426,0.0,0.056854117064162824,0.07157698261119266,0.0,0.0,0.06508455807473608,0.0,0.0807667601371921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154464893815735,0.0,0.060575801754563924,0.05503881773195793,0.0,0.0,0.1518093773533726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474002472684385,0.0,0.2346052721939712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492675877598107,0.062488048508687985,0.0,0.24527548869171345,0.0,0.09499356818539363,0.0,0.07024152673915311,0.05675747007595816,0.12506446037041585,0.0,0.06776702116491791,0.0,0.0,0.048539065981958285,0.0,0.06983828979083327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179784536432476,0.0,0.05674782959395396,0.11469477254993142,0.0,0.06428080873102207,0.06627474351367957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409553648774073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811747790741374
mentalhealth,angelacille,2019/03/29,"I (20f) don’t know what’s wrong with me I have always had trouble making friends. When I was in high school I always stuck to a single friend. In college I made acquaintances with so many people but in the end, ended up feeling isolated. I have anxiety about talking to people. I decided to take all my classes online because I don’t want to be on campus. I feel like people either leave me out or I end up getting drained and wanting to be alone. When I go out i pray that I don’t see anyone I know. I always suspect that people are taking about me behind my back. I don’t have a single friend really, other than my sister. I often feel like one of these two feelings: narcissistic or insecure. Sometimes I feel like I’m a lot smarter than people and cannot relate to them at all. Sometimes I think I just suck at being personable and people dislike me. I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on why I’m like this. 

TLDR: I have trouble being social. I don’t know what my issue is. ",1.4806930693069342,3.566623059405945,3.653950495049507,86.8547871287129,80.78217821782178,5.624158415841586,21.98118811881188,6.742157984588678,0.6766407920792075,766,24,151,8,20,262,110,202,0.168,0.6779999999999999,0.153,-0.2846,0,1,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,0,8,12,1,1,4,0,20,1,1,2,2,32,43,9,0,2,5,1,6,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,12,0,0,2,8,5,0,2,4,7,34,7,25,35,6,20,1,0,1,0,8,12,1,4,10,110,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392069805061004,0.0,0.0,0.2745716668020953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414517282858261,0.0,0.0,0.07691042068959714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845786607001422,0.0,0.06705137238787356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922663300849852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780815679100025,0.23573938574155984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549434682348618,0.0,0.05746736880275405,0.0,0.06251217248116682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162147883370307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148052458386756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417994868433153,0.0,0.0,0.11646785255971133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149502127756524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351303638619787,0.0,0.10407906137579938,0.07342190487012444,0.11151673643895804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453483766491356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4575362878117172,0.09604259106331067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057443451104043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046502646475923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131988482983853,0.08765104358638579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121251162708442,0.0,0.0,0.21757392229273986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540372375445234,0.08840907783451657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047976735555385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744823683721076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297547206214254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925255189487653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026126317265355,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HellaDee,2019/03/29,"I am confused,angry and scared For the past few months I have come to a realization that I might be suffering from bipolar disorder . 
I'm not sure how i got it.Maybe I had it from the beginning? or it slowly developed as a result of past trauma I experienced ?
I'm completely clueless.
My friends told me maybe I could be suffering from some hormonal imbalance that it would go away as soon as I get older but I feel otherwise. I took 3 online test for to confirm my problem and 2 of them came out positive. 

My emotions are so messed up that it has become a serious issue. I can't focus on my study or anything else for that matter.

I want to consult with a professional but I don't want to disappoint my parents or make them feel guilty for my upbringing.  

What should I do? ",2.702617511520735,4.742724335483871,4.63882488479263,81.52395161290323,76.61290322580646,8.557603686635945,27.845622119815665,9.23628265651192,2.6175622119815682,612,26,120,16,14,209,99,155,0.174,0.7340000000000001,0.092,-0.8903,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,3,10,0,1,6,0,14,1,0,3,1,27,29,12,0,6,6,1,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,8,0,0,5,3,23,2,21,18,2,14,0,3,0,0,6,4,0,5,6,86,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601833323778213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16671110013707247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596898496109974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20294455102382414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284919603045088,0.18604288720059486,0.0,0.0,0.14167172379542675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336207520947586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14822868852936769,0.1995965711934372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17943839906747566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709001563999962,0.0,0.0927052872839425,0.0,0.1008434704658378,0.0,0.1419153002261111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520168086533328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844284723181872,0.0,0.35652546999921675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823622751573926,0.0,0.0,0.14163123725120652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970265695110092,0.0,0.33877388601983555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978650236873935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764879870454256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723548044596412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695519096547652,0.19714281724797125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20931789469853834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260485716838665,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ALilThrowaway4me00,2019/03/29,"I'm depressed and I honestly don't know what to do I'm sorry, this is probably going to be a long read.

So my wife and I are in the process of getting a divorce.  She told me she hasn't had feelings for me for a while and was just going through the motions.  She had said that she never felt appreciated in the marriage and had never felt loved. She was depressed herself for a while and I never noticed.  She had told me when we would fight, but I had always thought that when she was acting fine, she was.  I had no idea she was hiding these feelings and carrying her depression by herself for so long.  

I had always been a more physical person when it comes to expressing my feelings.  Hand holding, cuddling, stuff like that.  She had always been more of a verbal type.  Telling her how much I appreciate her, how thankful I am to have her, etc.  She hated the physical aspect of expression but she tried so I would understand she loved me, and I never made an effort to improve my communication skills. 

She gave up her life for me.  She moved away from her family for me.  She put so much energy into me.  I took that for granted and made her feel worthless without even realizing I was doing it.  

Even after a few years of her feeling like this and confronting me with her feelings about not having feelings for me anymore, she still wanted to try to be friends and make sure I wasn't going to do anything drastic to myself (I'm not) and make sure I don't end up broken and homeless.  I guess i should probably say I am in the military and I'm at the very end of my contract and about to convert into the civilian life again.  She is/was trying to stay here so we can work out what we can in a civil manner and be sure that she can still get her medical needs taken care of while we still can.

She has always been such a good person.  She has such a big heart and I can't shake the feeling that I'm never going to feel the way I did about someone like that again.

That's a super condensed version of pretty much our entire marriage life.

Now after her still trying to be friends I am stuck in my own negative space and I ended up bringing her back into that negative mental state again. She doesn't know if she wants to stay here to try to have a civil friendship anymore.  We had a long talk about it last night and I think she made me realize I've always been a negative person without realizing it.  I mean, I FEEL ot now since this seperation, but my natural negativity definitely didn't help her feel appreciated or loved.

Really what I'm writing this for is that after everything I am and everything I made her feel, she still says I'm a good person.  I don't feel like a good person.  I mean, my natural peraonality is to take someone who gave up everything for my a bunch of negative attitude and not realize that they're hurting.  I feel incredibly selfish like a parasite that just takes and takes and takes.  

I want to be happy because I want us to be friends.  I know I am bad for her as a husband, and I'm not trying to get her back.  I want to be happy because it affects everyone around me and after reading other posts about people being depressed they end up pushing everyone close to them away and I don't want that either.  I want to be happy so I can move on and rebuild.my life and get my life on track so i can focus on my education and career.  I jist want to not feel depressed anymore for me.  Being a downer is exhausting.

That's where i dont know what to do.  I don't want to feel like this anymore, but deep down to my core (i swear this feeling is coming from my heart by where the pain seems to come from) i don't feel like I deserve to be happy after everything I put her through.   She loved me so much and I couldn't put any effort for her in return to make her feel like she made me feel.

To be honest if she didn't say I deserve to be happy, then I probably wouldn't be posting this at all.  I just want to know why a person like me deserves to be happy.  Im not here fishing for compliments or trying to validate how I feel, I just want to start healing and stop crying.

I'm sorry for the long and poorly structured post.  And for probably making a story that probably doesnt makea whole lot of sense. I'll answer questions whenever i can get a chance to read the replies.  I don't know if talking about it and reliving it is best but everywhere I read said its better to get it out than leave it in.",3.655963459404085,4.729217446170921,5.034201997780245,83.65876820626657,72.09655937846837,7.8531614445487925,27.402049005378647,8.238735603445708,1.7496969555195083,3473,122,707,52,65,1162,304,901,0.119,0.69,0.191,0.9969,0,0,0,0,2,0,69.0,7,0,2,7,47,52,3,1,36,0,83,17,3,13,9,158,184,62,0,20,23,2,24,9,3,4,9,5,0,6,40,49,0,2,42,4,1,18,36,15,0,0,40,29,140,37,112,124,16,100,0,7,0,5,95,32,0,9,52,529,180,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799095112242886,0.0,0.0,0.025824259810627637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506437358710362,0.0,0.0,0.0312501380025223,0.03380574565303762,0.0,0.0,0.07135740794071482,0.05840076598278356,0.03170748671437065,0.04629833902822839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03985235418467496,0.033585746341132684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038717979819895325,0.0,0.0,0.09813613873569904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041713685830758455,0.0,0.0,0.16353879071630162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04450634409034506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453809275804324,0.0,0.04235209368891855,0.05016417632080224,0.0,0.0,0.07257336058855406,0.13651770124732068,0.0,0.035799391523160695,0.0,0.4032266592793377,0.13564651518530954,0.07292379079783777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801802785698608,0.0,0.11904202535180294,0.0,0.08632812877212866,0.0955547279486726,0.0,0.0,0.041833675141697946,0.0,0.0,0.2425501635469499,0.0,0.03749238894290213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900009678888517,0.025453800222099882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04065295615890466,0.04286908226914915,0.04101944918214994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522019557590844,0.030954642623204732,0.0,0.04020997581157965,0.0,0.0,0.13411410753381578,0.16697372708006494,0.0,0.0,0.1344264992357154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03228493398406748,0.13709545543905238,0.17966402094806425,0.10139426301705734,0.0,0.0,0.0827316796466627,0.0,0.038255754505239985,0.03826980533946965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807226977912022,0.11166379446800302,0.0281579350806402,0.14644306493926262,0.0,0.0,0.035636906481387766,0.0,0.0,0.0432347181982078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04040801108008917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026327040268324917,0.1989495047085496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910847904755384,0.0386341638153938,0.20471702821124949,0.0,0.0,0.11452590322609073,0.04254062112845109,0.0,0.1519408567858194,0.0,0.024327717455403824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224572373583718,0.0905975838387984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03457095698764456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03141326083716885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435208285640974,0.0,0.0,0.0850196672658758,0.026878856316824472,0.08095246159391571,0.15163417126371087,0.03174874827136087,0.0,0.0,0.043472218172440284,0.0,0.0,0.10737278792952776,0.0,0.11420970826094565,0.06104563281833356,0.0331917693096276,0.034962220484225176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024332806678303242,0.0,0.0301478586436792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257336058855406,0.04219155299610726,0.1804774294156054,0.0,0.0,0.039533249340318384,0.04567917424898565,0.0,0.0,0.0313333006093863,0.24638462327816935,0.03014273790999726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03426647459550645,0.04239766171075112,0.0,0.07321296949039661,0.0,0.027646206880525583,0.0,0.0,0.05395261228913178,0.0,0.0,0.024454614782286884
mentalhealth,stickbugbitch,2019/03/29,"Is it possible for ADHD to be confused with PTSD? I was diagnosed with adhd along with a generalized anxiety disorder and depression a few years back in high school.  I had all the typical symptoms of adhd and had lot of trouble paying attention in school. A lot of the time I was so dissociated I couldn’t pay attention, and I wasn’t sure what was causing that but I felt like I was dreaming.  I’ve been medicated for several years now for adhd, and the medications help with my motivation for sure, but I’m kind of thinking the meds might just me masking a larger problem. I recently starting going to therapy, and though she is not a psychiatrist, she said she believes I have severe ptsd which may be causing my issues with paying attention, memory loss, and dissociation. I was in a school shooting situation when I was younger which I believe had effects on me I did not realize, and I had been in an extended sexually abusive relationship up until right before I got diagnosed with adhd. I never talked about my experiences because I was afraid of feeling the pain I did in those situations again. I repressed those experiences severely. I’ve been depressed before the shooting, and before the abusive relationship, but I think my attention span definitely worsened with each event, especially the prolonged sexually/mentally abusive relationship. I am confused as to weather I do in fact have adhd and it was there before all of the traumas, or if it could have been misdiagnosed. If anyone could shed light on the differences between ptsd and adhd that would be immensely helpful. Thanks and have a good day people of reddit 👋",8.264024244833069,8.70101934121622,9.060047694753578,61.11881558028621,61.66891891891893,12.370111287758348,40.722575516693155,11.892052765847286,5.409828139904612,1319,69,205,40,17,448,153,296,0.198,0.7070000000000001,0.095,-0.9877,0,0,0,2,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,9,17,0,4,18,0,36,6,0,4,6,61,46,22,0,7,9,0,2,1,0,3,6,1,0,0,10,20,0,1,11,1,3,1,5,11,0,0,22,4,31,6,35,15,6,26,0,3,0,0,10,12,0,9,14,164,41,7,0.0,0.2461214022174888,0.0,0.0,0.5825081392703221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052969953351642764,0.0,0.0,0.04841562812500797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053242836888073186,0.0,0.04220929077874374,0.0,0.23567942562915115,0.15602408332163484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422612497526905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056823233002422,0.0,0.0,0.04465537260657933,0.0,0.11927609526967745,0.1405583791000256,0.0,0.0723431701758951,0.07935735013482988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354639579232313,0.0,0.0,0.03501084419935021,0.0,0.06648319475559368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039351833847710335,0.05807691855223498,0.05537916623801367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282292864490066,0.0731579924320092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227067593035877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210490528040031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033828151874044296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773417318277345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691227120342965,0.1395080946543148,0.0,0.07345483763203639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340371201466244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367838783288842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048003696087321336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805997017224947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625525876821081,0.2428206368637631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836813820102418,0.2230200389238252,0.0,0.05913230404134449,0.06586501426816793,0.0,0.0,0.210229853062129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346713101860721,0.0,0.0,0.15566185608865366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900985589937395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051956283438318,0.07196896778167818,0.0,0.0556541102874217,0.0,0.06374874613922754,0.07918428074734703,0.0,0.0,0.08873497702984531,0.06802992997510184,0.0,0.04037557684344769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918754210591229,0.0,0.0,0.0891791773003663
mentalhealth,lolita-blue,2019/03/29,"Quetiapine 25g anyone? So I have been taking quetiapine for some time now (depression/anxiety/BPD/ptsd) and I have to say, it makes me worse, I am to tired to do anything, I nap twice a day and haven’t got the energy for the simplest tasks. However after googling it it seems I am on a very low dose...25mg  1 in the morning and 2 in the evening...where as some people are taking 900mg and I can’t see how they function on that much, there is no way I could get behind the wheel in the morning and going to the gym is such a chore nowadays when that used to be my way of medicating, I am also on fluoxetine and I guess I just wondered if anyone else out there takes these and if they are ok and if maybe I should flush the lot and continue with the gym and eating healthy etc ? ",4.0878658536585375,4.01430181097561,5.41209756097561,85.47070731707318,70.52439024390246,8.755121951219513,27.37560975609756,8.548686976883017,1.6009214634146347,603,18,138,9,10,203,103,164,0.07400000000000001,0.879,0.047,-0.6063,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,12,1,16,3,0,3,0,27,28,18,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,6,12,1,0,2,3,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,2,15,1,19,23,5,17,0,1,1,0,3,8,0,9,6,97,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923894527071304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434891884084665,0.1784004231354619,0.14328103013228768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21929055458997854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901590352336224,0.0,0.0,0.11228916008256247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17816214383011558,0.14544994944614534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19418319405557893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096740639493896,0.0,0.0989530287743451,0.0,0.1392549137978294,0.0,0.1918062591607808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480255414749441,0.0,0.0,0.1162224823888418,0.0,0.17492096874814905,0.0,0.0,0.1754015906603765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799386276761532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070876133972112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20353001048245345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846248336430386,0.0,0.0,0.1387463576108804,0.15850689457591902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39273629726248427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015273044868003,0.2001184907005154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037863846584285,0.0,0.1436623284158024,0.0,0.2764072618433478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18881926325980167,0.0,0.0,0.17743709497686716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pigmask22,2019/03/29,"Invega sustenna, i cant stop needing to move I just took the shot on Tuesday. I'm at work at the office and I can't sit still. Inner restlessness. Please help. This is agonizing. Even Xanax which I'm also prescibed isn't helping. What can I do?",-0.5658222222222236,1.452113439999998,1.6806666666666672,92.90811111111113,104.6,4.622222222222223,19.555555555555557,6.42735559955562,0.4146888888888891,192,7,40,3,9,64,39,50,0.157,0.705,0.139,-0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,2,0,6,1,0,0,0,4,10,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,4,9,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,24,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686888783328104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22191640646473296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4504103358569244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571012688298387,0.0,0.2491302847913673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688130997900318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683198477647202,0.2809003812233285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732941916233471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24460271585333174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theskyistheroof,2019/03/29,"Mildly suffering from what I think may be depersonalization Good afternoon everyone I’m here because I think I may mildly be suffering from depersonalization. I say mild because it’s tolerable and really just an uneasy feeling that I can only really describe as being detached from myself and reality in some ways. I often feel completely out of it, not realizing it until the brief episode is over when I realize I just did something without thinking about it at all. I realize this may be normal but I’m really not sure and I overthink a lot so I decided to talk about it here. 

First off I’ll also provide a little bit of background on myself. For about 9-10 years now. I’ve been struggling with a few different mental health problems. In the 4th, 5th, and 6th grades I had many manic (the best I can describe it) episodes where I would go completely crazy and become physically violent over very small things like being asked by my parents to do a simple task. During these episodes I would almost feel like I wasn’t myself or in control. I always told my parents that the devil was controlling me. In 6th grade I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety (mostly OCD related anxiety but still anxiety nonetheless). The same year I was
diagnosed with ADHD and since then I have been taking medication. All of these things have definitely improved but I still definitely struggle with anxiety and ADHD. 

Lately, probably for the last 2 months or so specifically I’ve been noticing myself lose hold on reality. I’ll be doing something and lose hold on reality for a few minutes, then I’ll snap out of it and realize that I just did what I did completely on autopilot without thinking. I will experience this while driving, walking, doing things around these house, etc. 

Could this be depersonalization? I’ve done some research and what I’m experiencing is definitely not even close to the extremes that others with depersonalization experience. Like I said, I tend to overthink a lot and this could be just that. I do the same thing everyday for the most part (wake up, get ready for the day, go to school, go to my internship, go to practice, go home, sleep) so it could be very well just that. I’m so used to the same thing every day that I could be on autopilot, but it seems slightly more severe than that as of late. 

Thank you in advance. ",5.2904381338742414,7.2578461310344835,6.353728870858692,72.2972464503043,69.29885057471265,9.623394185260313,31.41480730223124,9.987195323819016,3.4459006085192687,1877,81,321,49,34,625,210,435,0.129,0.775,0.096,-0.9213,3,0,2,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,0,7,24,18,1,2,18,0,42,6,2,3,3,80,67,30,0,8,16,2,3,3,0,6,4,2,1,0,33,21,0,4,13,0,0,9,6,10,1,1,14,6,37,8,54,33,18,51,1,5,0,0,8,22,0,14,22,246,70,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867042784943672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778186195843521,0.0,0.0,0.062117922937319665,0.0646331266702646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376894459998777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914861343173923,0.07261710501315005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470182911664016,0.08578766602620247,0.0,0.0,0.08151676529025849,0.0,0.08480269361627381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443272093829013,0.0,0.1742417507673055,0.2480736740812532,0.0,0.0,0.10018991998457916,0.0,0.06690271373629363,0.15768016179444946,0.0,0.08115548038541981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949009724403262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662990559584602,0.0513046402249239,0.0,0.06544585825144061,0.07422328896817601,0.0,0.15196517588930925,0.0,0.0,0.11782681928877188,0.055492155316909535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607164860392349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04058280051793243,0.0,0.22072691673541525,0.06515141944915759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256655889435457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791593052674367,0.0,0.0,0.0896283297980624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331676983664727,0.1752451029054118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384654180404265,0.07785232696555762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380042019186456,0.0,0.13207567983538354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787518475893087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825096973078184,0.07827971028022901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062000695072213535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610654381801228,0.0,0.08843528689477137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907652979668052,0.0,0.0,0.17250127153390102,0.0841161530374467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374847750416158,0.07432598461362516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928479441918213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388820341338546,0.06177152415663144,0.0,0.07861283322775074,0.0,0.0707138296915251,0.0,0.08775241147860897,0.0,0.06425485929385498,0.0,0.07773266455221803,0.0,0.0,0.11959843313528863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406521423158523,0.0,0.0,0.1624088274089689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320924557055668,0.0,0.05840311176495391,0.06243348259161297,0.0,0.07151414714503386,0.0,0.0,0.2580242995096745,0.1990880319548337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422328896817601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708761444205705,0.0,0.12818260621234054,0.0,0.06165604370644444,0.0,0.0,0.06984056273101504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975487828135672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035840975388896,0.0,0.0,0.1000423254412379
mentalhealth,chashaoballs,2019/03/29,"How can you tell the difference between someone who's genuinely depressed and someone who's malingering? I dealt with depression for a large portion of my life that culminated in an attempted suicide, which gives me some idea of what depression is like but by **NO** means makes me any kind of expert. I only know how I felt. I don't know how I seemed to people around me. 

Are there tell-tale signs that a person is feeling down and malingering, or genuinely suffering from depression? Is there anything I can do to tell the difference, if there are no obvious signs?",3.6630129870129915,6.466933361904764,4.540346320346323,79.51207792207795,77.28571428571428,8.770562770562771,29.54545454545455,9.339509955726095,3.2192857142857143,453,21,80,13,11,146,69,105,0.202,0.7659999999999999,0.032,-0.962,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,1,0,1,7,7,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,4,1,22,17,8,1,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,2,11,2,13,16,2,3,0,5,0,0,7,3,0,4,1,58,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779791692591736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304470991626644,0.14111494340004754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5461265060087671,0.0,0.0,0.33123588320385905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015164300851005,0.0,0.15220247937393327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520652500416857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894792737634496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507247281127654,0.17423508410469887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119662017695016,0.07744406096601296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581223258313126,0.0,0.0,0.1726729593624663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056035175252415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098966677287776,0.13841211286269328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443091564572126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686241748121729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733933513171718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41565608659083053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gonvaku,2019/03/29,"Personality changes depending on the person I had a really traumatic moment 5 years ago and it left me with no personality whatsoever. The way I act and speak depends on who I am talking to and what intentions I have with them. I can be funny, weird, introvert or whatever fits the individual. I didn't have a problem with it, I mean everyone got along with me and loved to stay around but, I don't know how to feel when no-one is around, and how can I describe myself?, everyone says a different thing about me.",4.74125714285714,5.882684440000002,6.6194285714285765,73.04900000000002,69.6,10.914285714285716,31.285714285714285,10.914260884657429,3.6506714285714303,404,17,79,13,7,141,67,100,0.061,0.872,0.067,0.1487,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,6,0,10,1,0,5,0,23,15,10,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,5,12,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,3,14,1,13,11,0,13,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,3,4,59,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289714930431607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472658671559617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20633356804873476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20378230937574854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727510000203466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862148239828418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559966802650044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719257669097748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21191883255505095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603728041088984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124630585628424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.510921819192706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18663336991240387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495192362835697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510898076773275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20789385229323296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677116572370434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295803743121896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481900807931914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560369316351375
mentalhealth,mmiissery,2019/03/29,Will I be admitted into a hospital involuntary for this? If you tell a doctor that you have suicidal thoughts pretty often or that you’re hallucinating can they force you in a hospital? ,7.9879411764705885,8.572223676470589,9.434117647058828,57.70352941176475,62.235294117647065,13.858823529411767,37.588235294117645,13.023866798666859,5.744164705882352,151,7,24,6,2,53,27,34,0.127,0.733,0.14,-0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,6,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,0,21,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4734690368007198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.470608973334609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5059861638066786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4043142890992011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672359229083568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leahsalchemy,2019/03/29,"what triggers you to become depressed? if you have a mental illness you probably deal with little things triggering your depression or that depressed feeling. job hunting triggers me to become depressed a bit, sometimes i get depressed for no reason because life isnt the way i want it & i feel like the world is against me at times. how about you? xo",4.638205128205129,7.248947615384619,4.428846153846155,82.60532051282053,72.84615384615384,6.17948717948718,33.91025641025641,7.1686216300943375,2.5083333333333333,285,15,46,3,6,87,50,65,0.306,0.642,0.052000000000000005,-0.9606,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,5,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,5,0,11,7,3,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,2,10,1,7,7,1,5,0,5,0,0,6,3,0,2,2,32,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639297297312515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924094191643923,0.3595980715754645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17773467038666632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678389292738388,0.7010939904632787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463243478058873,0.1163038520795748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505591468663408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155318439298527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498995977219435,0.07953551441719893,0.1631676669926319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640634030750917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552517980078447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738479405368156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610126699561087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815662066729888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492958072589006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960232448195461,0.12922250624604986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blair_Bubbles,2019/03/29,"What is an alternative solution to therapy to get over hypochondria? And it's getting worse the older I get. Today I thought I was about to have a heart attack when it was really just a heart palpitation.


I'm in my mid 20s. I've seen three therapists. Each one really didn't 'get through to me'. I've tried anti depressants which made it worse because I had to keep seeing the doctor and each time she'd yell at me for my blood pressure being so high 'you're too young to be that anxious!!!1!!11!'


What else can I do? I need help. This is peeking into like major obsession. It's beginning to take over my entire life. Everyday I worry about my health and it's now invading my dreams.


I have dreams of surgery, or brain tumors, periods that don't end, teeth being filled or pulled, strokes, comas and cancer..... ",2.5263607594936697,4.9457052278481015,3.720743670886076,85.97516613924057,79.0,7.241139240506327,23.16613924050633,8.278499904357787,1.5257202531645562,638,21,124,13,16,207,107,158,0.14400000000000002,0.7759999999999999,0.08,-0.8841,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,1,2,5,0,15,11,5,1,0,14,28,8,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,11,7,0,1,1,2,0,2,2,4,0,2,7,4,16,1,17,17,3,19,0,1,2,0,2,7,0,2,11,78,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867748837816744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18808577919283348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078311711971677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456201234624628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239775719235828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922139365903946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811129273141146,0.0,0.14643255723742146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34551063486702754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17573715846549753,0.0,0.3918316845923833,0.11081664624563216,0.17467932731131236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695214757388358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677687010539008,0.0807714730421927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15643844203022486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225894720478543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203131280338416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21182817777272311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174592967808854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430694756515565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890682949977282,0.19195988933947056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312528800111839,0.09640475863760588,0.0,0.1567127055834364,0.0,0.0,0.11224764237480613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16789978010730414,0.33696906267863685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,buhtha,2019/03/29,"My Therapist Said I Have ADD Right now I am not in a good place. My mind is everywhere and nowhere at once. I don’t seem to know how to handle my emotions and I have recently felt suicidal. Like, I’ll be driving in my car and think about just gunning it into a tree. I cry for seemingly no reason. My mind contradicts everything I think. So I’ll think I’m crazy but what if I’m not and I’m just driving myself insane by “pretending” there’s something wrong with me. I have been so stuck in this rut for so long. I am 22 years old, I still live at home, all I want to do is get out of my hometown and the thing I fear most is losing my mind. I feel like any day I could have some kind of psychotic break. When I try to explain my feelings, I feel this overwhelming shame, like I’m overreacting so I keep everything to myself. And I can’t explain myself very well and I feel like others lose interest or can’t understand me. I hate feeling useless more than anything and I hate days off of work because I don’t know what to do with myself. Today I drove around for 4 hours just because I didn’t want to go home. When I’m with my friends, as much as I love them, I am so jealous because they have goals and dreams and they’re such great people and I’m so bland and boring and awkward. I don’t feel like I’m smart enough to go back to school for anything so I’m just coasting.  I’m sorry if none of this makes any sense, I’m trying to put as much information as possible.. I’m just so scared and I hate how my mind works. Sometimes I’m thinking about everything at once, and then other times, I’m not thinking of a single thing and I feel like such an airhead with nothing important or worthwhile to say. I recently started going to therapy and she thinks I have ADD. I don’t take any medication and I’m afraid to start. I just don’t know how anything could help me. I just can’t do this anymore, I truly don’t see myself having a future. I don’t see myself having a career, I don’t see myself getting married because I am just way too confusing for other people to handle.. I can’t even handle myself. ",1.8142543171114591,3.5420773537414973,3.53655328798186,89.84748822605967,78.18367346938777,6.518541775684633,23.77934763649049,7.419758726546812,0.9513831152974012,1647,55,357,22,39,550,195,441,0.175,0.693,0.132,-0.9626,0,0,1,1,0,0,39.0,0,0,2,5,33,30,4,7,7,0,35,2,0,5,1,84,93,41,1,6,16,0,8,6,1,0,1,2,2,0,12,27,0,1,24,2,0,8,18,16,1,0,6,13,62,14,46,84,9,41,0,4,3,1,11,12,0,9,25,229,74,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954135033132138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269478340104185,0.0,0.0,0.1809611531639772,0.06525333015007305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056363857534810914,0.0,0.1787341615248493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704958749711901,0.0,0.08051758246149865,0.09454601621067832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824536318826994,0.0,0.07573941086752091,0.0,0.048414544568308536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763433239092013,0.0,0.0,0.08248387677201582,0.25944191650452353,0.20946467337095545,0.07038034666599033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056632083491150176,0.0,0.07659337618462479,0.0,0.12497574996174267,0.061481306306431324,0.0,0.08081448672898363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21710835124735464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0491320394619795,0.0,0.14705353256665815,0.0,0.07218660838843607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651531963674389,0.0,0.07633159400069289,0.12085275158894862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21486666500165674,0.0,0.06472602618483389,0.06486897837999983,0.0,0.16400988589882,0.0,0.0,0.06615691240517924,0.0,0.04892891128538733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384293204153193,0.0,0.0,0.2960520006781114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776917215514484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033417804422583,0.0,0.07691695040495837,0.15612610481643535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163521125284862,0.0,0.07658382565118603,0.0,0.0,0.08263573646929091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368763730923067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753655201156413,0.1447515657207966,0.0,0.0,0.06259855701712365,0.06972592930281883,0.05829180745099001,0.07338697536338112,0.07418441102520353,0.17523395000290815,0.1334607491325099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056430603995497465,0.07249645157467828,0.08205434180167319,0.10376549023940987,0.0,0.058538183071341676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017927319895167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511314464103058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382595255813112,0.08510797951093763,0.0973957045097767,0.2818094919047382,0.0,0.0,0.04274233669918658,0.0,0.06948067005973348,0.0,0.0,0.09953298139791897,0.0,0.0,0.07630880849620178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06048090849231279,0.08646952466537362,0.058182832251518074,0.0,0.0,0.06590630052549971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672783753906387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014301300479745,0.0,0.04720336798540745
mentalhealth,JBurner88,2019/03/29,First visit with a new counselor So my question is what all do I share in the first visit? Do I unload all of my problems or precieved problems? How do I handle the questions about thinkg about suicide? I am a paranoid when it comes to revealing private information. I have seen counselors before but I have lied or held back information which is stupid because I am supposed to go there to figure stuff out. Any ideas or suggestions on how to handle a first visit would be helpful. Thanks.,3.7498067632850223,6.358066347826089,4.172753623188406,83.35292270531401,75.73913043478261,5.828019323671497,28.700483091787444,6.937597516519254,1.6906772946859907,392,17,67,4,9,123,62,92,0.16699999999999998,0.74,0.093,-0.7461,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,3,8,5,1,0,5,0,11,0,0,2,2,22,16,8,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,7,0,0,5,0,3,0,3,2,1,9,2,11,12,2,14,0,0,1,0,10,3,0,5,6,55,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621479718765128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402277843166973,0.0,0.12210454253290708,0.0,0.17044546307182878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725456906630769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5111399749570089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383838915922788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426074010769726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22612084101282776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345656768174066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833311535462167,0.0,0.0,0.4487766249055441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22930219201168897,0.21910200917506947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184414647599262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422914769794026,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sartorius12,2019/03/29,"I feel like I've come back to reality today I'm new to reddit, but hopefully someone can explain this better than me & possibly tell me what's going on. So today I was driving back to my hometown from University & something happened, for lack of a better description everything just became 'real' sounds, sights, smells just became very vibrant like the world just turned on. After this my emotions became real, stuff I thought long buried & issues I thought I was over cascaded throughout my brain. I wanted to die, I guess I've been outside of reality for a long time. I damn near had a panic attack, but I called my girlfriend & I'm gonna go to counseling Monday. Now I'm just amazed at how vibrant my emotions are, love, hatred, sadness, happiness etc. It doesn't feel like there is a block anymore. Like, I'm actually 'here' for the first time in months or even years. I don't have the right words to explain it? Can anyone tell me what's going on?",4.994330024813895,6.1880775645161314,5.723333333333333,79.5126923076923,69.05376344086021,8.088668320926388,29.899090157154674,8.384062270229773,2.2400956162117454,761,29,139,11,13,248,113,186,0.151,0.628,0.221,0.949,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,12,14,2,1,7,0,11,2,1,1,0,23,32,5,1,3,7,0,2,4,1,1,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,1,6,0,0,5,2,4,0,1,6,5,18,10,21,25,2,29,0,1,1,1,7,9,1,3,19,82,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.1057059521578936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4694642838478372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742561151099657,0.07574076359744543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323110357247148,0.0,0.16658476934698382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916027542937794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092238209921308,0.11060814672557223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330919872243562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242039586003637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436937400978524,0.0,0.0,0.12080687024910275,0.07154518953009772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973521896132732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954099643211188,0.15476950046530816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213803276291732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846844537608623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193281116633095,0.0,0.09578815778876652,0.11531002596054198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758748082277678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305928256338185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21168124039741948,0.0,0.0,0.19172186351036632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776419212363947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646101912989089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461737554039448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709169306833734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211597734463996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465866819917795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925057886227104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178027633056446,0.08339102007784947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400195982690697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18935516141321232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199000711543067,0.12632602898031944,0.0,0.20535183186896147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178224567758466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937640743330434,0.06389070253498982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975535841734577
mentalhealth,Sanesplaining,2019/03/29,"Frankly, I'm not doing well. I'm bipolar one. I was recently taken cold turkey off my Vraylar because I was having some serious stomach issues. This essay is about the result of that, and when you have to choose between your physical and mental health, among other things. I wrote it for World Bipolar Day, but it got published a day early. I hope someone can find it useful. TW: Self-Harm, suicidal ideation. [https://asitoughttobemagazine.com/2019/03/29/frankly-im-not-doing-well-by-daniel-crocker/?fbclid=IwAR0g2bSIrALSgIaFj6UdoYy\_sspOa6a\_qiZPSTogQCeVnqkAOTfSbT10Rn0](https://asitoughttobemagazine.com/2019/03/29/frankly-im-not-doing-well-by-daniel-crocker/?fbclid=IwAR0g2bSIrALSgIaFj6UdoYy_sspOa6a_qiZPSTogQCeVnqkAOTfSbT10Rn0)",22.714058441558446,30.225766818181825,10.23128246753247,38.852637987013004,36.662337662337656,6.447402597402598,29.10551948051948,7.6454224807358475,2.2666376623376627,643,15,53,5,8,144,65,77,0.113,0.7909999999999999,0.095,-0.1197,0,0,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,7,4,1,2,0,11,14,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,5,1,7,2,7,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,5,38,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119653124766187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564400472805269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171443653624306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901150499346642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21133236028053146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974693811046125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295113007432264,0.2075124948106049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003600023680785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134723025948516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963070462675873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074086928650172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684563503672073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747269143779327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13208467194298598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171339214670334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5362790152421539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FACESADHDSTUDY,2019/03/29,"Recruiting Participants for Paid ADHD Research Study at NYU Dear Reddit Mental Health Community,

My name is Michael Levy and I am a doctoral student at New York University. For my dissertation under the advisement of Dr. Anil Chacko, I am conducting a paid qualitative research study examining the effects of stimulant use on non-White young adults (18-24) with ADHD who have histories of stimulant use who were diagnosed in childhood. This study can be completed in person or via skype. Those interested in participating can complete the [screener](https://nyu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_d54FFAjmm9VxEKp) (should take about 5 minutes). Please email me if you have any questions!

Thank you in advance!

**Michael D. Levy, MA**

Doctoral Candidate Counseling Psychology

New York University",8.163537200504415,12.132550549180332,7.4142622950819685,58.621090794451476,68.09836065573772,11.622698612862544,38.073139974779316,10.891193690592663,5.996894577553595,645,35,83,24,13,200,92,122,0.0,0.91,0.09,0.8652,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,0,2,1,3,0,0,5,0,10,5,0,5,0,13,16,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,3,15,11,0,13,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,3,4,44,11,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44364486272873693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551684822238968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870452680274023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18733902162947505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778392189130028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19619384184479333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18600747450340432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35652600370402066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116315284892133,0.0,0.20260714654555265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20676544941158587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877689740610724,0.0,0.0,0.16993121019601296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188258538043389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,epicness3,2019/03/29,"OCD-like behavior or not? I will start off by saying I've never seen a doctor about mental health before. I know someone will say ""consult a doctor"" so I just want to save anyone the hassle since I already know that step. I am just looking for your opinions. I've always had obsessive ""ticks"" since I was little. Most of them change throughout time, but some stay the same. I am wondering if it is OCD-like behavior or not?

Some examples:

* My first memory was when I was just a few years old and would feel obligated to say the word ""Save"" to every different colored tile I saw at the shopping mile. 
* Then I remember always having to put my left foot on the back of my right heel over and over.
* Then I remember moving my mouth side to side constantly.
* I picked up cracking my knuckles at age 7 and haven't been able to stop for 2 decades now.
* I constantly have to touch the center of my palms and feet 
* Most recently for a few months, I feel I have to stretch out my hands",2.1025311991318496,4.305632025773196,3.354991861096039,89.19502712967989,79.25773195876289,6.764622897449812,22.581660336408035,7.85451343220497,1.103901030927835,759,24,156,13,19,246,120,194,0.027000000000000003,0.953,0.02,-0.3006,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,1,8,3,0,1,10,0,15,9,6,1,1,35,25,12,0,3,9,0,4,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,5,0,1,7,1,1,3,4,1,0,1,7,11,24,2,24,15,7,37,0,0,4,0,6,16,0,9,17,103,26,3,0.1384885647461325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282557493367468,0.0,0.230467159912792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096834424490012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064891579008364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784356843419387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650253857303466,0.0,0.0,0.2993138790531984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446910743712395,0.0,0.28349782856122857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668258876143682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400479589028566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177983024261442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720686830789415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221938679123426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046823080874458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880192412700335,0.0,0.0,0.11629551515044945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395639004060478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054025112238618,0.14719142748577888,0.0,0.0,0.10681091868142163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532045241697086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921925836811086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674075030186733,0.0,0.3137610942502202,0.11826847760453507,0.0,0.3303949956303032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291183437186823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117340911497019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802291892404348,0.1476103835295107,0.0,0.11578264123520356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075379579900616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168414360225648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018494094052506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837830296461668,0.0,0.0,0.08918209517055906
mentalhealth,RebirthCross,2019/03/29,"Ever since i found out my wife contacted her ex i havent been able to sleep well I'll probably delete this in a day or 2, we'll see.

2 years married/1 2 year old (kind of a shotgun wedding to be honest, but doesn't change how I feel about her) 

Long story short: Wife was texting her ex BF for a little over a month now, didn't say anything to me until I looked at our phone bill and saw a few messages. Asked her about it, tried to play it off until I pushed harder on it. She's sorry and said she should've told me sooner and would block the number (she didn't). Panicked and activated the family tracker app after I checked usage and she messaged him immediately after. She flips shit (reasonable at this point, but still) and doesn't want to talk. Says she's done. Able to calm her down and sorta talk about it. Almost ruined the marriage over the ordeal. I blocked ex's number first chance I get just to be sure. This all happened over a day and a half (found out on my birthday). 

We're going to marriage counseling to help w/ this. She hasn't noticed that I don't sleep well now (or chooses not to say/do anything). Woke up once from a nightmare, other 2 nights just didnt sleep well. Starting to affect my work ethic and mental state (felt anxious/uneasy/a bit more clingy/withdrawn/stressed) and lost a few pounds (not complaining about this part since I've been working on losing weight for a while now, but probably isn't healthy the way it's happening ATM). Hasn't asked me about my sleep, and noticed attitude towards me is a bit different (which I think is expected considering what's happened). 

Just wanted to vomit this up and get thoughts before I delete this. ",5.1829858429858415,5.658506183183189,5.3708622908622905,84.79945945945948,68.24924924924926,8.024538824538826,28.46975546975547,7.793537801064563,1.6037917631917629,1321,42,267,14,21,417,184,333,0.093,0.813,0.094,-0.3728,1,0,0,1,0,0,49.0,2,0,0,5,18,13,1,0,16,0,20,7,5,3,3,45,44,21,0,4,10,5,3,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,16,14,1,2,8,1,3,2,12,5,3,2,16,9,34,8,41,24,7,43,0,3,3,0,38,19,1,4,20,165,50,2,0.18596561419549665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310884996973744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050441055166641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303385518565915,0.0,0.17385274576016538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912152033283999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030262860296819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983634808291804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199324366046823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714724303547694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515369460208496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410827238608305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765591527384453,0.0,0.047014901089374464,0.0,0.08927807646517325,0.0,0.0,0.07909112821705569,0.0,0.2039016972956523,0.0,0.0,0.09715935796947517,0.0,0.052844272063280816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246673167708308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06232441560416677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682728501244343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319320017184217,0.0,0.08228685828320652,0.07808213964373177,0.104023977061446,0.10150171786659233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937047997649012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421798951769792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725806563314042,0.0,0.0,0.21172308433336476,0.09756981465736554,0.09902365492856326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069131897845687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878988074066618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20050238528092398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560181196113887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844794239853336,0.2218309807822007,0.0,0.0,0.07409525873228777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954455152869965,0.15383267777814688,0.0,0.3721998326760549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408663993138856,0.06581370944366792,0.0,0.07425618985905022,0.0,0.1065114913743586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876351952833061,0.0,0.0,0.14947211643807387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957962830704209,0.0,0.07381796255527165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884905687255676,0.0,0.06312922246761313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968733745542687,0.07380542428077408,0.0,0.11322800933098033,0.25080813110127315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135385181974097,0.0,0.0,0.06605231835517489,0.0,0.0,0.11975575841973915
mentalhealth,Butter-Trees,2019/03/29,"I’m skeptical of the “help” available So I’ve been struggling the majority of my 25 years with mental health issues. My goal is not to necessarily share my story but rather acquire information so I’ll try to only mention what’s needed. I went to therapy around 7 years old following the death of my adoptive father and did not enjoy it. I grew up in a community where at an early age I had a distrust for adults because I considered myself to be smarter. So when I went to therapy all I can remember is not being cooperative and then the decision was made by my adoptive mother and the therapist to basically experiment with several medications. I was already somewhat of an angry child so the experimentation with the meds went about as horribly expected. This was around 2000 if that is relevant at all. After typing this I realize how difficult it will be to explain my own reasoning without sharing more of my story so if any questions feel free to ask. Since this experience I’ve remained highly skeptical of any forms of therapy. At this point in my life I do not agree with the general opinion and discussion about mental health and I also prefer natural methods over pharmaceuticals because it is my opinion that the pharmaceuticals act as a temporary fix in most situations only to grow a dependency and “mask” an issue. So when it comes to mental health I am even more opposed to using a pharmaceutical drug. I guess that is part of my main question, once taken off of the pharmaceutical drugs do the problems not simply resurface? All while possibly experiencing serious side effects? To me that gives me the option to take something for the rest of my life and it just sounds like a quick fix. I understand our knowledge of mental health is lacking and thus growing but I still feel as if there should be better options. Sorry if this is confusing, this is my first reddit post and it was very impulsive I created the account to post. So along with the question of using pharmaceuticals and that experience, are therapists just eager to prescribe you something? I know some information about cognitive behavioral therapy but aside from that I’m ignorant of anything else out there. I also live in a place that is much more conscious of mental health as well as a more natural way of living but I am still afraid of going to someone who simply doesn’t understand my particular situation and wanting to prescribe me some random bullshit because they don’t want to do their job or I might be a tough case so they choose a quick fix. I also forgot to mention going back to therapy, also back in my hometown, around the age of 18-19 and having the same experience as a child. A different therapist but they prescribed me something because I wasn’t basically saying what they wanted me to it felt like. It’s almost if they made their mind up on a diagnosis without me even communicating much and then gave me the meds to fix that. They obviously had no positive affect and I quit taking them and fast forward another 5 years and I am still struggling. I consider myself to be an intelligent person although I had an ignorant upbringing. I also consider myself in general to just have what it takes to be successful so just the general qualities a person needs. Like there’s nothing significant holding me back other than my mental health. With that being said I have had an “interesting” life. I can say that even without a diagnosis I have struggled with severe depression for 18ish years and also developed social anxiety more recently. I’ve also struggled with anger issues that I think stems from being depressed so often not necessarily that I am actually an angry person. Shit so I guess I basically could have said I’m kind of fucked at the moment and am afraid to be “helped” the way I always have. I don’t trust the options available but I also realize I need help. I’ve basically cutoff my family and my serious relationship is just horrible at the moment. So I feel as if I am alone more than ever and even the people I do have in my life, to be frank I think they’re stupid. I haven’t surrounded myself with the most intellectual people yet they almost have power to control my life because I’m “fucked up”. So it’s also getting to a point where I feel unsafe and vulnerable that someone will try to take action for me which I’m obviously very afraid of. Sorry if this goes against how one Reddit’s I just needed to get some information and I wanted to give some background to hopefully show there is some logical thought being put into all aspects of these topics. I was trying to keep it less personal but after reading the rules I would like actual help so I am an Asian-American male and I was adopted from South Korea. I was adopted to a conservative, old (parents were 40 yrs at the time) family in central Kentucky (in the “South” of the US) so that was the hometown. I now live in SoCal so those are the locations I mentioned. ",6.136697250841492,7.4020462615715825,7.333826439079398,68.74700275086713,66.47039827771798,10.37634595998428,33.583491380046816,10.469020072226037,3.8627324175167015,3983,175,664,104,63,1352,375,929,0.129,0.7809999999999999,0.09,-0.9898,4,1,6,0,0,0,52.0,2,1,10,9,65,41,8,8,56,0,72,17,1,13,7,165,128,78,1,24,31,3,5,4,0,5,14,5,0,8,40,39,0,8,29,2,2,14,15,25,1,2,28,11,97,17,119,82,29,88,0,2,0,2,52,38,3,34,38,522,137,5,0.0,0.0,0.08641208277553525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867009171588773,0.045855577217163,0.048858595281539165,0.3186605210284329,0.03684037078464049,0.0,0.0,0.06021707571879741,0.046426228138466696,0.03387027586838013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03643457624962259,0.11824248752804215,0.04139117526589359,0.0,0.0,0.10213429270605223,0.0,0.13494823314209947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0391576650275181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0381390169575227,0.0,0.0,0.04965820961424773,0.03535000782836185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626803490779126,0.0,0.0,0.046257981667162384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268995410143296,0.0,0.036986105339321805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697295589621146,0.040049298369396885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17323789562824632,0.0834771136073328,0.0,0.08954713956757462,0.0,0.04251097092788672,0.0,0.0,0.03766031690434775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186310142887393,0.046263750357835184,0.08494528407493271,0.050325038404334235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754787173286164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28237371151155777,0.0,0.0,0.11870647418707785,0.04677899882598576,0.0,0.043975093685274816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863488125271134,0.04393613436412131,0.03935367993823046,0.0,0.046105629300782415,0.024332397952583164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563638111516979,0.08652217067174794,0.0,0.11728698483737668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378820560751048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983591518772988,0.044602433576309615,0.2677128927724885,0.04696880886316628,0.04470515772569901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650944810793838,0.13131749148047955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04248308426590527,0.0,0.09291838978982896,0.047151460722648635,0.03000190538152913,0.06734630906788104,0.0,0.0,0.04916217991860338,0.04794554165213825,0.0,0.061389460488510315,0.15463698962530958,0.046257981667162384,0.0,0.08370842639554761,0.049913442559783146,0.08480647774030285,0.0,0.0,0.04236522311644845,0.0,0.044508632818529285,0.1487944953157412,0.047091943081050566,0.04428701028095542,0.0,0.0,0.04552210363222437,0.043716249589719744,0.04753481149574877,0.05015497676261798,0.0,0.08423138259261674,0.07041855998928923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003636038253452,0.04544768084408125,0.036624761373173234,0.09953397491038712,0.0,0.045132816205681096,0.07502817649844133,0.1022552408251309,0.0,0.09912453984894634,0.0,0.0,0.10607428564654824,0.0,0.0,0.18514349308735373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315724633743098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531617703670045,0.15422016290532026,0.0,0.056739301453094936,0.0,0.03514942732180306,0.025817125360752136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017951485774946,0.0,0.0,0.09218373290824602,0.05325740824120947,0.0764788187862633,0.0,0.07306307128070202,0.10445823652000212,0.07028691410358204,0.0,0.0,0.03980856813480231,0.12313018589205815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803864350025493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031451710167744465,0.0,0.0,0.11404666780907838
mentalhealth,aestheticDeluxe,2019/03/29,"I'm having trouble letting go. I'm an 18 y/o male, currently in HS. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and I am possibly on the autism spectrum. I have trouble relating and talking to people sometimes. But I'm getting better. However, I'm still having a lot of trouble letting go of things. Mostly relationships/rejection. I've been with a few girls, mostly online but I've also had girlfriends that are physically here. There's one girl who I just can't let go of. I won't name her, but I feel like she's pretty much the only person on Earth who I'll ever truly love. Everyone else is a substitute. She's literally the perfect human being for me. I would do a number of terrible things to have her. She lives in North Carolina, I live in Maryland. So we're pretty close to each other. Only about ~5-6 hours away. Her and I have a very good relationship as friends, and in the past we've been FWB, but never BF/GF. Our relationship has been extremely weird and complicated. Even now we still say ""I love you"" to eachother. Now she has a boyfriend and I'm happy for her. I really am. But I can't help but feel that I want her for myself. I don't know what I can do. And what makes me feel worse is that I currently have a GF. I know I should let go but I just can't.

Idk why I posted this on here. Maybe to rant. I don't know. ",0.4847314298216787,2.792786259927801,3.061975713816868,88.06027786894217,87.12274368231047,6.390066732305001,21.029318455311234,7.686295010490155,1.0371309265944648,1042,35,220,21,33,361,147,277,0.091,0.706,0.203,0.9898,3,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,2,1,0,2,14,14,0,0,12,0,35,3,0,1,3,38,55,17,0,3,9,0,3,1,3,3,1,1,0,5,11,12,0,0,6,0,0,4,7,6,0,1,5,4,36,8,24,42,6,25,0,1,0,2,30,10,0,3,11,153,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921908890874201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819033347080944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831113438521757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195746707628547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929212649195833,0.11700869587950352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963032298979995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761426038249636,0.10427907325568456,0.0,0.11015679014047704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486996851996436,0.08235740820254546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906650543753243,0.0,0.06023003159942812,0.0,0.2620694284307752,0.0966929832857744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271971996197215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727102359886319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352944395115508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19006774239941068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4715341893503806,0.0,0.05632091035965831,0.0,0.2035920491621062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800854387175717,0.20809282072015048,0.0,0.07695155951190638,0.0,0.11581615759564785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847454566920052,0.0,0.08891250365819119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811799498293452,0.17535415057747736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004961236752456,0.07992195004719534,0.10065970332640203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299630142113127,0.11040818771990388,0.2345662618432668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385253334277578,0.0,0.0,0.24753922250723265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167678929044734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401674104727084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841285391395383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926592197030264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317633593099067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951196359558142,0.06799624801013067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104023978502837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748209892858966,0.08189294999247636,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CREST_BD,2019/03/29,[xpost] World Bipolar Day AMA on r/IAmA! - We are a psychology teacher with bipolar disorder and a professor of psychiatry from an international research team working to improve lives of people with BD - Ask us anything!  Join us at [r/IAmA](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA)! - [reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/b6zhfx/we\_are\_a\_psychology\_teacher\_with\_bipolar\_disorder/](https://reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/b6zhfx/we_are_a_psychology_teacher_with_bipolar_disorder/) ,25.25066666666667,33.569052733333336,14.142222222222225,9.700000000000015,32.77777777777778,9.822222222222225,40.111111111111114,9.888512548439397,5.640244444444447,403,14,28,7,5,100,37,45,0.06,0.8059999999999999,0.134,0.5067,0,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,8,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,16,3,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497284452915947,0.0,0.2837017721058464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571186321474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478008120434708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26796795234380616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038661764653105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7300696826671489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22092844076164372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jessica0318,2019/03/29,"Feel like I want to hurt myself I’ve got a lot going on, I’m a parent I’m at university, I have a part time job and very little help. 

I feel like today I just want to hurt myself, I don’t know why. It’s all just come to a boiling point, I don’t want to be here it’s just too hard. I don’t have anyone I can turn to and I just need to say this so I don’t do anything silly. I’ve not self harmed to a dangerous degree, maybe when I’ve been a teenager here and there, but I feel like I’ve got really intrusive thoughts about my wrists. 

I’ve been seeking help for what feels like ages and because on a day to day basis my mood is fine and I’m a warm friendly person I just get handed tissues and patronised. I was referred to a psychiatrist for possibly ADHD (I’m still very much of the opinion I have) and was told I ‘just have a lot on’. But i have frequent periods from early childhood of just utter frustration I want to just cease from existing, everything is just too hard.

I just had to say this before I imploded ",1.658520202020199,2.972608740909092,3.873030303030305,89.0639898989899,77.5,7.070707070707071,22.676767676767675,7.793537801064563,0.8896464646464644,793,23,181,12,18,274,109,220,0.067,0.774,0.159,0.9267,2,0,0,0,0,4,17.0,0,0,0,0,19,14,2,0,11,0,19,3,2,0,1,37,41,11,0,5,13,1,8,4,1,0,0,2,0,2,5,8,1,0,7,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,9,10,23,8,22,31,5,19,0,2,0,0,9,6,0,3,15,113,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716841165727726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562413856792768,0.0,0.10077092012497613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464808993413241,0.0,0.10420110499019122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548507014710898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794808246609154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100556289297725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476698943047985,0.3499305928406947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460926384835344,0.0,0.06397824775085091,0.0,0.06959461241685297,0.0,0.19587862792967548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21939319018647652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415945867831344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26218353324407623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151876438120915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729865921122903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23930342129044466,0.12273316279347928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20821556074318776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302359184344687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001930897296086,0.09079963188215144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597298543573988,0.1326080016705666,0.0,0.0,0.10692392593738652,0.0,0.0,0.11576057715479192,0.13805083113616815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844850068577666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947639801099652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774839839656996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779358388368738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721644925459397,0.07140512516902946,0.0,0.11607404567887658,0.11701203243454462,0.0,0.0,0.13319705118115574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20207818171590036,0.28891107547496275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049756561553732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JJshellofund,2019/03/29,"How to help a suicide loss survivor How to help a suicide loss survivor


When a person has lost a loved one to suicide, their pain is caused not only by the actual loss but also the realization that their loved one was hurting very badly to get to the point where suicide was seen as the only option. If you know someone who has had this type of loss, you might not know how to support them. Suicide loss survivors do need support, however. Read on for some tips on talking to and supporting your friend or family member who has suffered this tremendous loss due to suicide.

Admit That You Don’t Know What to Say


The trite sayings such as, “he is in a better place,” or “she isn’t suffering anymore,” are seldom helpful after a death, but they are especially unhelpful when the person died from suicide. Inquiring about the details of the death are also not appropriate, so it can be difficult to think of conversation topics when you are with someone who is grieving this loss. Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know what to say, but I would like to support you.” This might lead to the person wanting to talk about his or her loved one. Or it might not. Either way, this shows that your silence is not a reflection of you not caring but of you not knowing exactly what you can say to be of comfort.

Don’t Give the Person Advice — With Exceptions


Everyone grieves differently, so it generally won’t be helpful for you to advise a person to go out with friends more, to get back to work, or to otherwise get on with their lives. If your friend is going out and working or going to school, refrain from advising them not to. Grief is very personal and your friend or relative is handling it the best way they know how.

With that being said, there are a few things that you can give advice about. One is to remind the person to take care of themselves in terms of eating and sleeping. A person in the grieving process might not remember to take meals and might be suffering from insomnia. If the person is exhibiting signs of depression or severe anxiety, you can suggest that they get help. Most people will benefit from counseling after such a traumatic loss, and you can be the one to suggest it.

Bring Them Necessities and Give Tangible Help


Many people will tell the grieving individual, “tell me what I can do to help.” While this is a kind thing to say and while the person might have every intention of following through if asked, someone in the midst of grief often cannot verbalize what they need. They might not even know what might make the coming days, weeks, and months easier. Call and ask if you can bring them dinner. Or you can send a gift certificate to a restaurant that offers takeout or, better yet, delivery. You can also ask if you can coordinate a meal train so someone brings a meal to them every day or every other day for a certain number of weeks.

As far as offering tangible help, ask them if they need specific things done for them. For example, if they have children, offer to babysit or to give them rides to their activities. Ask if you can do their laundry for them; take it to your house to wash and dry, then fold it and bring it back ready to be put away. If they have a dog, ask whether you can walk him. Particularly if the person who died was the one who handled some of these tasks in the home, this can be very appreciated and helpful.

Do Not Assign Blame


The person who died by suicide was most likely in a great deal of pain and would not have otherwise made the choice that they did. Do not talk about how suicide is selfish or say anything else negative about that choice. The people left behind are well aware of how their loved one’s suicide is impacting others.

At the same time, do not try to assign blame to the survivors. Asking whether they noticed any signs or how they tried to help the person is not appropriate. For the rest of your friend’s life, he or she will be asking him or herself whether they could have done something differently to prevent the death. You do not need to add your thoughts on this matter.

Stick Around for the Long Haul


After a sudden death in the family, survivors often get an outpouring of love, support, and help in the days and weeks following the event. As the months go by, however, people not as strongly impacted tend to get back to their regular lives. The survivor is then left dealing with his or her pain and all of the logistics that go along with a death on his or her own. Be there for your friend for the long haul. Plan on checking in each week even after months have passed. Send a card or check in on the deceased’s birthday and during the holiday season. Be aware that even after years pass, these days will often cause pain and angst to those left behind who are missing their loved one terribly.

Don’t Forget the Individual Who Died


Don’t be afraid to talk about the person who died. Death makes us uncomfortable, and suicide even more so, but the individual’s loved ones who are left behind want to remember their family member. While you shouldn’t bring up the circumstances of his or her death, it is appropriate to talk about him or her by name and to bring up good memories that you have of the person who died by suicide. Don’t let his or her survivors think that their loved one has been forgotten.

It can be difficult to know how to support those impacted by suicide or other traumatic deaths, but by following the above suggestions, you can give some comfort to people who have suffered such a traumatizing loss.


If you would like to help us continue to provide helpful information like this to the community please consider a tax deductible donation today

www.hellofund.org ",7.65867393744988,7.347459892093028,7.203471531676026,76.42919767441862,63.10232558139535,10.464955894145954,33.69727345629511,9.921728534948242,3.111416680032077,4524,163,840,82,58,1418,356,1075,0.193,0.639,0.16899999999999998,-0.9922,4,0,1,0,0,13,94.0,2,31,31,18,44,73,0,2,72,0,108,21,1,15,3,170,187,94,33,23,63,0,0,4,6,17,7,8,1,16,60,35,5,2,17,3,4,23,29,35,1,10,14,9,85,38,151,140,16,97,0,23,1,8,183,32,0,52,44,625,145,12,0.0,0.0,0.028878626484572283,0.0,0.0,0.057836129207029886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099684725081591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02012434351563499,0.0,0.022638663814484438,0.0,0.029348433521216556,0.0,0.0,0.024352624883945267,0.026344160231997718,0.2213246577317076,0.0,0.0278037202288615,0.0682658719842617,0.024709027841906588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031056164683918613,0.05234543809226866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030217894926743143,0.0,0.060344337598891275,0.06080059360444361,0.0,0.02549186155056761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023627706670460925,0.0,0.0,0.0954256048933763,0.06101843618233549,0.02548851991608278,0.0,0.18427798369047524,0.06183704554217185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056809398560359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03028116041047782,0.024721263205467345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818393432080108,0.0,0.07480046630285107,0.028277504355944057,0.0,0.0,0.08369330907594609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718147518278614,0.0,0.09276713557500367,0.14194213654114027,0.08409229011848234,0.0248213138070371,0.0,0.032626530823156995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578634703048494,0.0,0.029684322744200974,0.0,0.0,0.03414649932000962,0.03168005823466672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030816691477558226,0.13010888466084988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286120914037506,0.030260980908049438,0.02090250322832176,0.057830834976037214,0.0,0.05226255276388634,0.052377978460208835,0.0,0.0,0.032304397707061165,0.0,0.2136716451832248,0.02800173558872828,0.03950728877483972,0.03000278947757392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511490789746205,0.0,0.0,0.0708628632339827,0.0,0.0,0.08777172510021777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03369197518932734,0.0,0.0,0.2005307108704376,0.0450138184896644,0.12595670919088942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258075274856236,0.387593701076053,0.030918522771085925,0.03248437061278907,0.027975073645288104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02974926980626342,0.0,0.0,0.029601138797784338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704649598748548,0.0,0.028149843841745258,0.16473551595281213,0.0,0.02994982794394827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03343181408863321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029614502281311395,0.0,0.1002966536772556,0.022782237630275662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208110605626646,0.20149160262092555,0.0,0.0,0.06675105362316673,0.11892918654534787,0.05173140081279429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898108279561089,0.03792416618207889,0.0,0.023493640013508697,0.01725599236243895,0.0,0.028050827457702345,0.0,0.0,0.040183586098743965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119378451411215,0.0,0.0,0.07325229565911262,0.0349095901731037,0.04697929905064687,0.09495129695221388,0.0,0.02660777829037766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0430883028786014,0.0,0.0,0.0630663324661213,0.0,0.0,0.01905700577790562
mentalhealth,chihiroaokii,2019/03/29,"Fragments I remember one of them saying ""Anyone that ever thinks of suicide is an idiot""
I remember how one of them tried to commit suicide by cutting her wrists and suddenly everyone was around her. Reassuring her, telling her that they love her, going to visit her in the hospital. I did not go. They even hugged her when she cried.
I remember how they celebrated the birthdays of everyone every year, starting preparations three days before. Mine was celebrated one day late. After me posting my birthday cake on Instagram, hoping that they will see it and prepare something. They all hugged me, but it felt only cold and fake. I know none of them liked me at all.
I remember how whenever I mentioned my social anxiety and how I could never feel as a part of their circle, they would take me to a meal along with them. They went to eat together, as a big group, everyday. I rarely joined them. When I did, all I did was staying there awkwardly and listening to their conversations. Sometimes I tried to react. They did not care whether I reacted or not. They did not care whether I was talking or not, or I was there or not.
I remember how they all hugged each other before performing a play. Some of them hugged me too, some of them would rub my back time to time, and told me that it will be a great performance. I knew that it will, because they were all geniuses of acting.
I remember how much I wanted to kill myself in a way that will affect them. Maybe the day right before the first play of the year? How does it feel to see your efforts of a whole year wasted? Maybe at the club room? How would it feel to see your beloved costumes soaked in blood? Maybe at the train station? Right before the eyes of some of them?

I get panic attacks just by thinking about them. It has been two years since I left the club, but just the memories are enough to make me suffer. I could never get into their circle. I was never someone among them. I hated their hypocrisy. I hate them.",3.756526315789476,5.7376582184210525,4.288092105263161,85.46976973684212,73.39473684210526,7.592105263157895,25.822368421052627,8.376592526197632,1.7127631578947369,1553,53,300,27,32,491,182,380,0.155,0.75,0.094,-0.9844,0,0,1,0,0,4,48.0,0,2,27,4,20,23,6,2,18,0,26,10,3,12,10,73,54,26,3,7,16,0,5,1,0,7,0,2,1,0,14,11,2,0,14,4,0,5,10,10,0,6,17,12,74,13,42,27,14,45,0,1,4,5,49,15,0,8,23,235,88,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059415762983893325,0.0,0.0,0.05430723086152348,0.0,0.0,0.06914093487057382,0.0,0.0883584964445254,0.0,0.05972185318214445,0.0,0.04734565650793223,0.0,0.2643587922458965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583752861731084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402306345367076,0.0,0.08531458719582763,0.15026819169367886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796773937104537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947369440925538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025174595508414,0.0,0.05129894313573461,0.07025510004212182,0.06543859086022817,0.148430093786173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781373528905108,0.0,0.07457340420496834,0.0,0.0,0.06606431172224321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115658805641163,0.0,0.08828096250549541,0.0,0.0,0.08562918016102591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533620260087646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714179104274747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592807027384147,0.0,0.0426842696882231,0.0,0.08761282146554625,0.0,0.08438644615168177,0.0,0.0,0.03794463326385068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009834994359493,0.0,0.051843954334448064,0.0,0.2340836608250016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05709487390067085,0.0,0.1797069146611703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788942252563196,0.05906996968325279,0.0,0.0911265953526361,0.0,0.0841068124159354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438441895923131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5278958264238502,0.13265599606207998,0.0,0.06176466477937169,0.0,0.0,0.18567388202869975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424772415631892,0.0,0.0,0.07917268583500961,0.06580779514858885,0.05979257620395125,0.07681558052507959,0.0,0.0549737690471585,0.08278369204044791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991224489138065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839662643077755,0.06242654970762504,0.06788520459302051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953296217926533,0.0,0.0,0.09057760304762894,0.0,0.0,0.0742150468930865,0.0,0.1054628686149874,0.0,0.07587029366452709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045810564452635684,0.061649197152633436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199896028359039,0.0,0.08671348347390356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551923261800575,0.0,0.0,0.20006243261729573
mentalhealth,HellenicLady,2019/03/29,"Father is getting worse and won't go to a doctor I am from Greece and I am not close to my father, but I can see that his mental health has deteriorated. He has obvious OCD tendencies and has nervous breakdowns quite frequently. He hates his new job and suffers from extreme stress because of it. He once implied that he gets bullied at work, but doesn't talk much about it. Everyone can see that he has a problem but nobody does anything about it. He's also a chronic marijuana user. I told him to go to a doctor but he won't.",2.398962264150942,4.539055122641512,4.240226415094341,83.54203773584909,77.9622641509434,6.504150943396226,26.63773584905661,7.554174236665415,1.5739237735849056,417,17,81,6,10,141,65,106,0.23,0.77,0.0,-0.9798,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,1,2,4,0,12,4,0,0,1,12,20,9,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,1,2,8,0,10,17,1,6,0,1,2,0,14,2,0,0,2,51,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578064957150744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238759366972988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12029188263252664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4039557538345559,0.17268674531633454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885593815545662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061958685418712,0.0,0.2242968830439254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19482470192215015,0.0,0.20975490979500253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19582176791787148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19886445297565916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506187846455867,0.0,0.0,0.19058467646927885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015236165517387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882027308421187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20988709367088906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144964427191607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22604337793716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586081542522302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885593815545662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436601978865413,0.0,0.2010983788603274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whirledwarotter,2019/03/29,"It's a big step, but it was a huge letdown I told my family tonight that I've been suicidal for a year and more now, but no one took me seriously. I'm going to do it soon, maybe. If I find a convenient way to do it. They don't understand that gratitude isn't connected to my depression and how I just want to die. They don't know how wanting to die has nothing to do with being ungrateful or not trying to understand them. I just want to not exist. I still love. I still become happy. I just don't want to exist.",1.1116363636363644,2.7838132545454566,3.8254545454545488,87.22818181818184,80.0909090909091,8.036363636363637,22.81818181818182,8.841846274778883,1.580654545454546,398,13,90,10,10,141,65,110,0.303,0.601,0.095,-0.9861,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,3,0,9,4,0,0,4,0,11,1,0,2,0,22,23,8,3,5,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,0,3,7,2,0,1,4,0,13,2,11,18,1,12,0,1,0,1,5,2,0,2,6,65,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007770329786804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15657878322616087,0.0,0.3773466454260268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713790697724258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615629243710597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331763875504676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352294193293415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990914985541316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407605425340396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826363647849211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443610944197455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318822281931754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903616191361803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988529739540835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371182160845736,0.2019796649350556,0.12342609609581395,0.0,0.0,0.3785076342787492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4289069094811985,0.14429950241101971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706928399383362
mentalhealth,Clusters_Insp,2019/03/29,"Our experiences with depression in our film Hi all,

My husband and I launched a Kickstarter crowdfunding campaign for his animated short called What We’re Meant For. It's a drama about loss, family, and mental health, and we think it’ll make for a very uplifting and powerful film. 

**Why I'm part of this community and why my husband wrote this film:**

It comes from a very personal place. My husband has lived with depression since he was 12, but wasn't diagnosed until a few years ago. I have gone through severe depression and I'm still hiding it from family, who just wouldn't understand. Our producer lost her dad to cancer. We have closed loved ones who have attempted suicide. The main character encompasses so much of what my husband and I struggled with and lived through. Were we a 13-year-old-girl? no. Did we have a horse? no. But we had depression. We broke down, we tried to find comfort in the few things we could hold on to, and we hit some pretty low points. We also got help and we got better. Her story is our story. And we cannot make this story without your help, without your support. It is why we are doing everything we can to get this campaign to be seen. 

**The story:**

What We're Meant For is about a 13-year-old girl, Jamie, and her relationship with her dad, shortly after her mom died. Each is dealing with the situation in an opposite way: Jamie overcome with emotion and her father emotionally shutting down, resulting in them alienating themselves when they need each other the most. This story specifically focuses on the moment when all this comes to a head, when Jamie and her father must confront their differences and find a healthy way to deal with their demons.

We’ve already raised over $20,000 and were picked as a “Project We Love” on Kickstarter, and if you’re able to help us reach our goal, we would love your support! I truly feel this project is something special; it is powerful and touching and I think it will really move people. This film means the world to us and I can’t thank you enough for any support you’re willing to give.

Here is the link: [www.WhatWereMeantFor.com](http://www.whatweremeantfor.com/)

Thank you!",3.679104761904763,6.49348792,3.6412857142857145,85.91933333333336,77.3,7.00952380952381,25.773809523809533,8.11559375814309,1.773355952380952,1728,65,318,32,42,526,207,400,0.151,0.7090000000000001,0.141,-0.5539999999999999,2,0,1,0,0,1,73.0,23,5,4,8,10,21,1,1,20,0,31,7,1,6,3,81,62,30,2,6,6,9,2,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,22,48,0,1,10,5,0,4,8,10,0,1,14,3,50,11,45,39,12,34,1,8,1,3,67,19,0,3,9,213,72,4,0.0855529232319009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583750447707374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440977819460664,0.06841664179913133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058178921532436687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566460821405402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735910001002255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473925359815064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830704769595076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640261447167396,0.29474642967083925,0.08683441620549308,0.08879042725008131,0.08938459576583642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247104705446452,0.0,0.0883990394364833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688945091649724,0.08368717523968036,0.1613033640157081,0.0,0.04325812856377049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638764382414228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04469787132198001,0.08207015963087275,0.0,0.0,0.13684897623364792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780198125488027,0.09093875676046044,0.0,0.0,0.17203296319235845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108959723196388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933911219459939,0.0,0.23164456027776995,0.0,0.11421448117326033,0.0,0.0,0.0931922140984086,0.0,0.0,0.0862172243554623,0.0,0.0,0.10019854969315332,0.0,0.09092921801282816,0.06289124242095939,0.06343640853930045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954680276230414,0.0,0.05797287490899209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264547878864132,0.0,0.05931162485136685,0.074701512636014,0.08938459576583642,0.0,0.08087516560273739,0.0,0.0,0.08703807975793723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054807393330156814,0.0,0.0,0.0918518222633335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665045158061794,0.0,0.0707702621769431,0.09616507023962442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586282004157648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832267500621225,0.0,0.0,0.08943849089310695,0.0,0.09358101221437046,0.291253330306657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753127462839378,0.0,0.0,0.05683756069190584,0.1096377174627372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058084819033088625,0.0,0.0,0.08906361027029717,0.20581926558875102,0.0,0.0,0.14118024298652154,0.0,0.13581585660138334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315946189324781,0.0,0.0,0.16493993006473487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06077434203065914,0.0,0.0,0.16527983279572533
mentalhealth,artemis123159,2019/03/29,"What is everyone’s opinion on DID? Within the grand scheme of mental illness, the ones in the mainstream, like anxiety and depression are really well represented and much more accepted. My boyfriend has DID or Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personality disorder) and it’s certainly a much more rare condition, but I was wondering how other people who suffer from maybe more mainstream or just different disorders viewed DID. Because of its lack of representation, or very poor representation (the movie Split) people seem to be generally more hesitant to trust or try to understand DID, in my personal experience. ",15.071435643564355,12.834191960396039,14.118886138613865,38.81021039603962,50.18811881188118,19.604950495049508,53.96287128712871,17.122413403193686,9.532047524752477,512,29,66,24,4,170,75,101,0.19,0.696,0.115,-0.8732,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,1,1,18,12,9,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,5,1,3,6,11,6,7,4,0,2,1,0,3,4,0,7,1,52,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568518316184586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812120812010946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276583996646134,0.0,0.0,0.18531064640857367,0.6098334569110503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948166152108846,0.0,0.17349884962728768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665250189264308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781888778282953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874410506614696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26077014023753553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018839299438633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459277338914923,0.30973984892302664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362576961904405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614681525872225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204204736769719,0.0,0.0,0.18464518465695395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634625722585207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15947413241543815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923468231019933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,next12344556,2019/03/29,"How do I become close to my family again So then, I have psychotic episodes in my life.
I am wondering why my family is not close to me anymore.
I have the feeling they keeping the truth apart of me.
They are topic in some of my episodes.
I have the feeling they can`t handle myself.
What can I do?!? ",0.7633723653395776,3.0702553606557395,2.703653395784542,91.19983606557379,85.55737704918033,6.108665105386418,21.82903981264637,7.447530270364453,0.925143325526932,231,8,49,4,7,77,38,61,0.0,0.897,0.103,0.6062,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,1,1,10,13,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,16,1,6,13,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,2,41,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126769258506468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34820631517301026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5944432338490755,0.0,0.3188340428064805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802388314045428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22269435427584447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844946953634932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419119583308929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,soulsearcher550,2019/03/29,"I’m finally stable, but I’m not sure I can cope with it. I’m used to avoiding my feelings with drugs, alcohol, and excitement. I was manic-depressive and eventually crashed, literally, into an impulsive suicide attempt about a year ago. 

Now I’m healthy. “Stable,” they call it. But for the first time I’m experiencing immense pressure and stress of life and I’m frozen. Literally. I don’t know what to do about it, so I’ve done nothing. I’ve read 10 books in 5 days. I haven’t showered or left the house unless absolutely necessary. Speaking of my house - it is a FREAKING disaster, and although I hate it, I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. It all just seems overwhelming, so I do nothing. 

I’ve literally never felt so unmotivated in my life.

I’m making a conscious effort to NOT indulge in any thrill seeking behavior for obvious reasons. But now here I am...not sure what to really do at all.

Is this how everyone gets sometimes? Does it pass? Any words or encouragement would be amazing right about now. ",2.8405384615384612,5.377528066666668,4.732499999999998,78.49875,78.58974358974359,8.002564102564103,30.262820512820515,8.841846274778883,2.9352512820512837,803,40,147,20,20,273,116,195,0.189,0.6990000000000001,0.113,-0.9605,1,1,2,0,0,1,33.0,0,0,1,3,13,12,1,4,6,0,14,4,0,4,6,35,30,16,1,1,9,0,2,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,11,8,1,1,6,2,0,2,6,6,0,1,3,4,13,6,21,25,2,19,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,3,10,91,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731561266417966,0.16554835669468662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068399624839645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274751726857968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817725573095565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990212981475577,0.0,0.13342107856102453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556006454852332,0.1585235324089128,0.0,0.0,0.17964281432135926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802017310560076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832557871462803,0.0,0.14873490837235634,0.16969292772122044,0.0,0.13176372267629408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093245720153976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293848476809133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35748350891762143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513277633899193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830679073925076,0.0,0.2188306370499202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034015528699845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947374434162893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972746802882127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494881138794445,0.0,0.09923732123770364,0.15927008404821638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228963884434425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102141601926832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320687653690196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744532070365665,0.0,0.0,0.16944299676731914,0.0,0.2919958237617433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032745409374243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378981773783716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004141114275724,0.0,0.0,0.09975495922882158
mentalhealth,Unika0,2019/03/29,"Am I just being irrational? I have been having trouble doing pretty much anything for more than a year and I just wish I could disappear. Or die. 
Yesterday I actually went for a psychological consulting after struggling to convince my brain that I maybe actually need help and I'm not just a lazy piece of shit.
I was afraid of being told nothing was wrong with me, that it was all just my fault and I broke down crying as soon as I entered the room.
After telling how I've been feeling, the opposite happened and I now have an appointment with a neuropsychiatryst this Monday and I'm terrified.
What if this is a mistake and it really is my fault and the doctor figures it out?
I already felt guilty everytime I smiled or laughed and now it's even worse. I feel like I have to be miserable 24/7 to justify me getting help.",4.064283653846154,5.939367668750003,5.287500000000001,79.0751923076923,72.3125,8.673076923076923,29.80769230769231,9.265573868473778,2.7528461538461544,657,28,123,15,13,218,100,160,0.242,0.604,0.155,-0.9516,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,9,13,1,3,9,0,17,3,2,1,1,29,28,14,1,5,8,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,9,11,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,10,0,0,8,3,19,3,16,16,4,14,0,2,0,0,5,3,1,3,9,95,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.3562099422917525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014060632111104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501914765440293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20374327968307035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14572064280944275,0.0,0.20048039680687796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18941820164442436,0.0,0.0,0.18680833232328944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054717503372635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845666739720572,0.1303863067874412,0.1752397351690277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535476588367907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139438442976006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446673252262348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916593730878741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833574099135146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341670088489269,0.13533002144985498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512478010792906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18567988749392286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692158944316165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734551061356355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19080072736949272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952316246793533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439763279889245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16919006000937165,0.0,0.0,0.2098793058639892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859948889511334,0.0,0.19954775786001064,0.0,0.11753147145048327
mentalhealth,matthewjamespoole,2019/03/29,"Failure To Commit (Suicide) Hello,

At the age of 23 I attempted to take my own life, now at the age of 27 I feel I am in a healthy position and would like to share my story in the hopes of helping people learn about what this was like for me.

Please feel free to read my blog below.

 [https://matthewjamespoole.home.blog/2019/03/29/failure-to-commit-suicide/](https://matthewjamespoole.home.blog/2019/03/29/failure-to-commit-suicide/) 

​

Thank you,

Matt ",13.112615384615385,16.93097964615385,7.996923076923077,60.883076923076935,52.53846153846153,7.046153846153848,25.30769230769231,7.554174236665415,1.1216769230769237,387,8,53,3,5,102,49,65,0.042,0.637,0.321,0.9578,0,0,0,0,0,4,41.0,0,1,0,1,2,6,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,1,7,8,1,1,2,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,8,7,14,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,5,34,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339277598705511,0.2623423558075298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183312408716267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447133427930578,0.0,0.43313097726620425,0.21443759829998404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249668534818867,0.210955849364838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496780036707004,0.0,0.0,0.2369935691415355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21595861031024505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4723195199872392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233006975036535,0.0,0.0,0.1987718829248652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336929669934285,0.0,0.2623423558075298,0.0
mentalhealth,LadyDarkrai491,2019/03/29,"In Pain. It hurts. Everything hurts. My heart hurts the most even though its physical pain, its also emotional pain. Love makes it hurt so much for me. Confused and depressed because I can't tell if someone I love loves me back. Sure acts like it, or at least used to and I blame myself for it. I feel like its my fault. That I'm not wanted or that I'm not good enough for them. I recognize that I need to fix my own issues as well with my mental health. But I am not sure why this is throwing my emotions for a tail spin...",0.5689143730886848,2.7350899816513774,1.809380733944956,98.268627675841,84.96330275229356,5.1012232415902155,18.25764525993884,6.42735559955562,-0.27626666666666644,404,10,94,4,12,128,73,109,0.273,0.5589999999999999,0.168,-0.9269,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,6,19,0,1,2,0,3,8,1,2,2,19,13,10,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,11,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,10,1,0,0,1,16,9,10,13,5,5,0,5,0,3,5,2,0,5,3,62,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084023794841884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696130238473566,0.0,0.07686795155649934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860771341904604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836857476889483,0.0,0.13029257117527535,0.0,0.08328630262411961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332842890633225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375875609886036,0.0900841799245973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576471860721524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403589578953354,0.0,0.14942631171930906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5399605308079668,0.0,0.0,0.1316131760064513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320987590767245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414241325443681,0.0,0.08417115453051226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270767636444766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269627511418954,0.0934998030227404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025303417003776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684212201544324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376910686729961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021489621091422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389029204801552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108907875277079,0.0,0.0,0.07437565573794769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337692297525034,0.0,0.11378350776745763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ibelongtotheworld_,2019/03/29,"It never ends As soon as I start to feel better and happy, I think okay maybe this time I’m finally better and I won’t have to struggle as much. I prepare myself for regular bad days because I know they’re normal. 

But one day,

Bam, I’m depressed again, and not normal depressed, I’m talking about I’m ready to kill myself when I get home depressed, the I can’t stop crying my eyes out depressed, the self loathing I’m a piece of shit depressed. 

I’m fucking exhausted. It feels like therapy, medication, drugs/alcohol (yes I know this makes it worse, I try to stay away from it until I reach a breaking point), everything effort is pointless. 

I don’t want to die but I’m so tired of being a burden, of feeling crazy and feeling this unbearable pain in my heart every day. ",1.5737912713472468,3.980394690322584,3.1916888045540794,88.41929791271349,82.74193548387099,5.711574952561669,23.95635673624288,7.048011613610866,1.0622447817836806,607,23,119,8,17,200,99,155,0.294,0.604,0.102,-0.9859,0,0,2,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,0,3,5,18,3,1,5,2,6,8,3,1,1,21,25,12,2,3,3,0,4,1,0,1,4,0,1,1,7,5,0,1,7,0,0,0,5,13,0,1,0,5,15,5,18,23,2,19,0,5,1,1,2,4,2,0,14,66,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299678288313715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425987101220172,0.0,0.1015421789175712,0.0741344507614351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151144866682726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358670108717582,0.2352919080604265,0.0,0.5237275756501895,0.0,0.12621559557226494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771344957998807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246460498889713,0.0,0.10929835728030296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24596572532036776,0.08688069690650747,0.0,0.13322162674583488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242970583517643,0.06353802571336319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945981457121722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411256348461038,0.0,0.0,0.12198823970024722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345473009477432,0.0,0.1336711801201547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594142051000679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117794457536577,0.0,0.1221770901313136,0.0,0.0,0.12251279023124755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939990339368274,0.0,0.09379581570279784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23831078567026545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240844379615431,0.0,0.1294053208240556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496405085206647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686938619781551,0.0,0.1248344931722513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607864955709887,0.12962379221405845,0.0,0.1016743176909802,0.0,0.12713681806444685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774831139432708,0.0,0.0,0.13907561709376265,0.0,0.0,0.07792500968470348,0.0,0.0,0.07091380021415745,0.13977680920840452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256757237263772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173078346053738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393452940933675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,drunkgibson117,2019/03/29,"I cant find the middle ground in my emotions I'll try and keep this short and sweet. 

I'm diagnosed bipolar 2 rapid cycling. The depressive state lasts a lot longer and is way more brutal than the mania, but all in the same if I act on my mania (which now, I do not) I'll make some pretty awful life descisions like.... Hiring a prostitute doing cocaine and speeding through high volume traffic without a care in the world before I blow my savings account on a shopping spree.. true story. because I'm invincible and an omniscient being that is completely infallible, at least when I'm manic I am... 

Well in short I've come a long way from that, but the problem is I don't know where my feelings end and my mania/delusion/depression begins. I'll have these thoughts that for whatever reason I'll be deeply emotionally invested in but deep down I know they aren't true. I know the thought is made up but the emotions still arise and it makes finding the line between me and...uh...me pretty difficult. 

Fuck idk what I even came here to say. I just feel lost in the mess that's in my brain",5.635416815742397,5.8749053860465095,6.117674418604653,80.65869409660108,67.23255813953489,9.033989266547406,31.887298747763857,8.841846274778883,2.4958121645796068,858,33,168,13,13,278,140,215,0.141,0.747,0.112,-0.6529,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,1,8,14,2,0,16,1,13,5,1,4,3,39,33,13,0,2,8,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,9,9,0,1,10,1,3,3,5,7,1,0,5,4,18,7,19,26,6,34,0,2,0,1,2,20,1,3,9,102,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266414584987138,0.0,0.11539069985886355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513811196057074,0.0,0.15509711356936795,0.13825933275458474,0.0,0.0,0.11681254311153424,0.14218028845493094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23359446116875085,0.13763721370316573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4576154212705744,0.12010664697208225,0.0,0.0,0.08956646987472149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713291447577106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24788281529549105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536554200590194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143275161579566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053282441710482,0.0,0.0,0.22357649815742006,0.11053697157364978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578251296610203,0.06625023137692305,0.0,0.0,0.12000702370913988,0.0,0.0,0.14802994447316886,0.11528735361263112,0.0,0.12831365568056266,0.18103608730481432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759200627457794,0.0,0.12975660744564058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942553105103256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078393169357571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082951096066343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21531199920264316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206755799736917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527542760333074,0.0,0.0,0.12192606030286868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071932417200394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,silentintrovert95,2019/03/29,Three years using medication....fell out of it 3 months ago..... Shld i go back? Well I was being treated for depression for 3 years now ..... i recently stopped using it because of long spell and associated side effects and the thing is was getting worse and i was no longer the self i was .... I am feeling more crappier than ever before .... i fell out of my relationship ....i hate my self ....i hate my college and i hate just being alive and just surviving and not being able to cope up with daily tasks ..... sleeping for too long but still not being able to be at rest and peace and being unable to function properly .... What do yu ppl think i shld do?,1.916252307692308,4.265212416000004,3.6416,86.08018461538461,80.84,6.406153846153848,23.215384615384608,7.61054688173877,1.171332307692308,492,17,98,8,13,164,77,125,0.113,0.804,0.083,-0.4423,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,2,8,6,3,0,2,0,14,1,1,3,1,23,23,9,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,11,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,4,1,1,4,1,14,2,15,13,2,19,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,12,72,18,1,0.326219029077287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458674317355472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125421148530745,0.0,0.09943004613497794,0.0,0.13879418328898208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404859858654207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754189409614218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247307144328958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521798924949398,0.0,0.0926988959725487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4831106308194413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886935752192191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019245834920584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610509679284572,0.1751185765827304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403175930542481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322731027934784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025946900771002,0.13636685771489576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836271376593452,0.10451399084282743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28174850100703114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665504223545062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622253015055033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100743592147773
mentalhealth,dddulcie,2019/03/29,"My PCP referred me to a psychiatrist. After a few visits I checked her credentials, and she's just a nurse practitioner with no psychiatric training...? I sat on a wait-list for six months to see this psychiatrist. I had a weird feeling about this ""psychiatrist"" from the get-go because her first move was to put me on anti-psychotics, though I have only been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Anyway, I decided to look up her credentials out of curiosity and she has a bachelors and masters in nursing, no degree or training in psychology. Why would the hospital have an NP practicing as a psychiatrist? Do I have a right to call and ask specifically for a psychiatrist? This is the only healthcare system in my area that offers psychiatry.   


She's very kind and caring, but everything she has tried has only made me worse. I don't mean to sound disrespectful but I don't feel like she knows what she's doing.",5.9566370808678535,7.496497005917162,7.009008875739646,69.89544625246549,67.10650887573965,10.840433925049313,33.01824457593688,10.864195022040775,4.016538067061147,730,32,126,22,12,245,106,169,0.1,0.85,0.05,-0.7724,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,13,0,15,1,0,1,0,21,25,11,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,9,0,0,6,0,1,3,4,2,0,2,5,5,22,3,22,19,1,16,0,1,2,0,13,9,0,1,4,94,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456957277133308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804748401545273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160981452154126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944734118318402,0.0,0.1941791320348205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403655657156893,0.1933053932786723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116652817957725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259712726645928,0.13605938483751567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199889539181414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950362969179788,0.0,0.1082386089947053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983270888835493,0.10466777538182223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304552661708372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993222826964526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802108674464165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20745872873921065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201745873534697,0.2024209871682188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43454338310890267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19145747950860134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264549095364514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517660746406297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871187253688984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129304822642447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15714335160096154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185386029437372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19408748354893013,0.13529207197855198,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,molllyyyy,2019/03/29,"my brother stopped taking his medicine so my brother has been pretty bad in the past. he’s bipolar has extreme anxiety/depression and anger issues. we had to 302 him and he was 3 hours away in a psych ward pretty much. he caused so much pain and stress in our house, like fighting with my parents, yelling at me and my sister, and even hitting my dad. when he left the place he had to stay at he needed to take a lot of medication. for 2 months since he’s been home he’s been really good, taking the medicine, no fighting, and everyone in our house is feeling a lot better. yesterday, he was kind of acting up, acting kind of like how he did when he wasn’t on medicine. this morning, i looked in his pill container and there were 3 pills still in the holder. he sets an alarm to take them at 8 am every morning and i just looked and they’re still in there. he’s sleeping now but when he wakes up i’m going to have to tell him that i need to watch him take them. he’s been doing so good and he’s said that he knows he feels better and needs to take his medicine. i hope he won’t give me a hard time when he wakes up and is just nice about it. i hope he doesn’t go bad again and starts to not take his medicine. i just hope that he takes it and doesn’t give us a hard time. ",1.9353639718215376,3.2771750774907744,2.8428731969137857,96.62060634015431,76.8228782287823,5.960483059376049,21.543274069104328,6.351523495107088,0.021168265682657058,990,25,237,7,22,313,133,271,0.08900000000000001,0.78,0.13,0.9371,1,0,0,0,6,0,24.0,4,0,2,2,19,20,3,2,10,0,21,8,3,2,0,36,48,23,0,6,5,5,4,2,0,1,5,2,1,0,6,16,0,2,3,0,0,4,6,8,0,0,12,9,26,12,30,34,4,39,0,0,3,0,46,17,0,5,18,132,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625255048957522,0.0,0.15330442501504313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238573488686026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943076362892563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907034860336368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06063544452837653,0.0,0.07734853397703767,0.08772232104567251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283736693363874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17613285125641906,0.10434825900311406,0.15400109084227562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644760753603543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208654543953024,0.2735452139364125,0.090408102103553,0.2118581709496633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581915851108408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19119874719719068,0.05045288477125762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974493355620004,0.0,0.0,0.08970125171319909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418388811004086,0.0,0.0,0.15609635937599828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248251841550716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07327679699711936,0.0,0.13497249056763452,0.2042137281031487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768555547209223,0.0,0.1019370882956405,0.0,0.08763697103687226,0.0,0.0,0.09591527408651997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679463065016666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588117684953375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732629328910535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594092735686778,0.0,0.0918699487772484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497909547093103,0.09785047526790346,0.1466290258046848,0.07675196149309388,0.1051607700776936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5521993532254523,0.0,0.08024043588005668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706289232071843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042848659822747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,halcvc,2019/03/29,"Thought echo (at least is called that way in my language) Some years ago started to get paranoia and such and went to psychatrist . Prescribed Xanax and invega and problem solved. Couple years later, when I was doing a internship started to get repetitive thoughts that really messed my concentration, ability to speak and hear. Same psychatrist said to not worry and let it be. Mom suggested to go to her therapist. Said OK, let's try it. He suggested ""energy therapy"", I was so desperate because the illness was messing with my life so much I agreed. 3 years go by, I am unemployed and afraid to go out and have an ""attack"". Try to go to 2 different psychatrists and they think it's ocd. Take ocd medication and get worse. So much worse that after 3 days with ""attacks"" so strong that I could barely do anything besides laing in bed I decide to go to the emergency room in a public hospital. Public and very young psychiatrist asks a lot of questions and my mom had to answer for me the best she could because I was almost catatonic. ""oh, this as to be thought echo and the ocd medication is making it much worse"". Start taking new medication. 1 week goes by, no attacks. ""shit this is looking good, I used to have at least 2 a week."" 1 month goes by and nothing. It's like I am a new person, depression goes away and all. 3 days ago I go back to old therapist and he says the ""attacks"" can still happen. Same day I get 3 small ""attacks"" that lasted for half an hour each and yesterday and today I am feeling like shit again. Depressed, unmotivated, the future seems shitty. The therapist charges 50€ an hour but 90% of the time I am out of the office in 20 ou 30 minutes, but pay full price.
What do you think? Is he untrustworthy? Reaping me off? Or even worse, doing me harm?
My mom really likes him. I once suggested trying another one and she almost took it as an offense.
Should I talk to her and say I want to go to another therapist? Since I am not still totally stable and don't have income I can't go on my own to another therapist.


Sorry for the super long post...

Take care. ",2.7970955165692004,5.015100283950621,4.3290480831708935,83.00834795321637,77.0246913580247,8.01624431448993,25.96653671215075,8.841846274778883,2.164753086419754,1625,62,315,38,38,541,210,405,0.134,0.785,0.081,-0.9331,4,0,0,0,0,0,64.0,0,1,1,3,11,24,8,1,19,1,31,8,2,2,2,56,68,31,0,5,5,3,1,3,0,1,6,6,2,1,14,26,0,0,10,0,2,10,5,15,0,2,12,8,34,9,45,49,15,60,0,2,1,0,29,14,2,7,37,198,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132599618766276,0.0,0.1257580281786109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753461827369875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167402421728637,0.0,0.058703814157681736,0.3571855971358597,0.05899693028097451,0.0482846283024231,0.0,0.07655714966672174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589831747586371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411958635593992,0.0,0.06402255973065436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027162923970903,0.0694802491393395,0.0,0.12149060009035062,0.0,0.10816857744766198,0.0,0.0,0.06560625403009862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041474774636709365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03175047945460533,0.04485997028307803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312288711686625,0.0,0.28549773549441204,0.05266853888983766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555284329141845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077328204253942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367867306795068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051185404442688265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842202166981004,0.04435318423248425,0.09203377401714123,0.0,0.0,0.05557062001126781,0.05273105575224163,0.0,0.0,0.05338512298446623,0.0,0.0,0.0419154117192573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897747252759118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22063034849442092,0.050121486948663384,0.0,0.13848221132018562,0.0,0.0,0.1212934678661106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025243466922841,0.0,0.06589162848134693,0.06687344753427213,0.042550767562884166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054829205999543364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06013919243236102,0.0,0.0,0.060085275873430086,0.0,0.0,0.070343532122404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045475260559631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946274533634728,0.09987244943656116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057165202548869476,0.0,0.0,0.1289140592423321,0.05194375785197425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029262310598272,0.13333752370659382,0.0,0.10029456941811536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163958004078991,0.05047135325225655,0.0,0.0,0.07181029011128512,0.36454275274876735,0.0,0.08047158329142115,0.0,0.14955401261207854,0.0366156244544231,0.0,0.05952126903247421,0.0,0.06976632650741563,0.12789879598807607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05423376282730558,0.0,0.051811538699965326,0.03703746550150649,0.04984287008943115,0.10073894788660176,0.0,0.0,0.058210568664896475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637702472499229,0.25596936969015865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131162650055885
mentalhealth,periodtabledancer,2019/03/29,"Are you a university student with a diagnosed mental illness? Hi, all! I am working on a study for my interpersonal communication class monitoring how discussing mental health with friends affects friendships. If you have been diagnosed and have a few quick minutes, it would be a great help for you to fill out this form: [https://forms.gle/1mDYz6AA1pZiBDNo7](https://forms.gle/1mDYz6AA1pZiBDNo7). Thanks in advance!",10.887999999999998,15.343603800000004,7.97666666666667,55.685,61.0,8.666666666666666,36.66666666666667,9.2995712137729,4.169666666666666,348,16,43,7,6,100,49,60,0.04,0.72,0.24,0.9229,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,0,2,2,3,0,0,5,0,7,4,0,2,1,9,8,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,8,5,3,6,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,1,34,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5533684647397502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21061082256851094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30054351661109224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897620690786322,0.0,0.0,0.18271867478040196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5494352949042649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509743354043985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19845674279821665,0.0,0.0,0.19364789800329701,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asdfavvvad,2019/03/29,"Starting to feel less depressed, but now I'm always anxious. I struggled with depression for about 5 years before seeking help. I've been on various anti-depressants for about a year now, it took a while but I eventually found Lofepramine to be the most effective and produce the fewest side-effects for me. I'll be honest, I can't remember how long I've been on it but it's been multiple months now. Lately I've found that the depression has been easing as a result of the medication and I've began to feel other emotions again (extremely weird after being totally devoid of feeling for so long!)   


Unfortunately I've also noticed that I am becoming more and more anxious as the days go by. I can't seem to shake a feeling of impending dread. I've never been effected by anxiety before and It's completely new to me. I don't want to be depressed again but it seems like I'm stuck between being crippled by anxiety or being super depressed. Anyone else had a similar experience with depression treatment? ",5.390433807030668,6.996773178010473,6.658462976813762,71.6241492146597,68.52879581151832,9.855048616305162,34.061705310396405,10.125756701596842,3.887761106955872,811,39,134,21,14,274,108,191,0.233,0.631,0.136,-0.9653,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,10,13,0,3,10,0,17,1,0,5,2,29,33,15,0,1,5,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,11,0,0,3,4,10,0,0,11,4,8,3,26,16,6,23,0,6,0,0,1,2,0,4,19,94,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754549707151799,0.09109028335258844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749304962844674,0.24734659881886545,0.0,0.07654604819548033,0.11216799790315714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209042979825258,0.18630687415964567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478032953069148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060101120457768,0.0,0.660022379494426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145062179645992,0.12314236012730287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708557395113293,0.0,0.0,0.22141129806502727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400629291449037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221601344321862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337742630698367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234902820131673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348296498454644,0.0,0.0,0.1937602726372141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028250330137647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873802827302126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443230568313999,0.10572967963145538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463570550607865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401153809109106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932016646538428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748553384540867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444492066055917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162850119571075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645699959070835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140994010984258
mentalhealth,Acraft8,2019/03/29,"My mother hates me This might be my last post on Reddit for a while

How do I start?
My mom just told me that she's pulled me out of school after she caught me asleep while studying

I'm seriously considering suicide",4.315151515151514,5.166753545454547,4.879999999999999,86.19833333333334,70.36363636363636,7.684848484848485,23.75757575757576,7.793537801064563,0.8861303030303027,172,4,37,2,3,55,36,44,0.197,0.8029999999999999,0.0,-0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,1,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,3,1,1,1,0,4,8,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,10,0,5,4,0,10,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,5,25,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349494571046164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765425472700561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599017246059666,0.0,0.3973377387691557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249177308861709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433496876894605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401302927008538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710958681423657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241778986984995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lookingtofindhope,2019/03/29,"How do I take back my life from mental illness? (Specifically OCD) 
(20/F) After almost over a year of being unemployed, being too afraid to do anything outside my house ever, and missing out on a big chance I had with a guy because of my sudden onset of OCD (seriously, fuck ocd.) I'm tired of living like this. 

Last year I was suicidal, bought a rope and kept it under my bed, just knowing that my escape was in reach brought me immense relief and I actually felt like life was good for awhile until I hit the worst day of my life and broke down. I went home and brought the rope back out and I just stared at it until I cried. I didn't want to die and deep down, I know I still wanted to live, I went to my parents' room and woke them up, still in tears, I told them that I wanted to go to the hospital and they were confused. I said I wanted to die and I surrendered my rope to my mother. My dad went to the washroom while my mother consoled me. I feel bad for putting my parents through that I assume it's better than finding me dead.  

We didn't end up going to the hospital. They adopted a dog the day after the ordeal and he is my world, but unfortunately getting a dog wasn't really a cure for my OCD, so now I have remained stagnant and focused much of my time drawing at home or taking care of my dog. I have a wonderful, supportive psychiatrist who has prescribed me various types of medication, and as for a CBT therapist, I've contacted three in my area. The first one didn't reply, the second one was helpful, but did not help much regarding OCD, and I'm on a waitlist for the third. I'm planning on contacting one that is directly specialized in treating OCD, as most of my current set backs are due to that disorder. 

TLDR; How do I take back my life from mental illness? How do I get over fear and cope with intrusive thoughts? Are there any helpful online sources one can refer to for cutting down on the panic from intrusive thoughts? How do I make it so ocd doesn't control my life anymore? ",4.642943640517898,5.144980133663367,5.687326732673268,81.96296648895661,69.44554455445545,8.591622239146991,30.38994668697639,8.617729084823388,2.224862452399086,1570,60,318,24,26,521,204,404,0.125,0.778,0.098,-0.8467,5,0,0,0,0,2,44.0,1,0,4,4,18,20,2,4,21,0,27,10,0,6,1,51,64,29,4,4,6,5,2,2,0,0,9,1,4,1,11,20,0,2,10,0,1,8,6,11,0,8,24,4,53,9,60,37,5,58,0,2,1,1,20,25,1,6,26,223,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.08875371300864288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107291040588154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061848862854616674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019758773454242,0.0,0.0,0.07484379082611435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797385863030439,0.07593913675135179,0.05544204639265223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043755114591118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272920275155494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200773648922558,0.0,0.0,0.09990389087726743,0.1173099663158486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188782700440102,0.0,0.1042361481702236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055437124561361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226914152522448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234361206890198,0.045986862430860885,0.0,0.08732590147730178,0.0,0.08312630829400414,0.07736170338644678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408146149062305,0.09503484906454092,0.0,0.10337753407216256,0.07628422921374492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005442645966094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18288484672280006,0.0,0.1824597761325119,0.0,0.0,0.10494365452307763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999670692028302,0.07413608213190179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212020443007883,0.08886678411203901,0.0,0.16062036785520356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060709579999327926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162217740780106,0.18331165805105865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371687631169654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465192750288458,0.0,0.0,0.10670978712268678,0.20197758772736465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142949218905327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826465778685822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651391931340932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526497380890122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948412651506217,0.10320855507805388,0.0,0.0,0.20514839441758226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559952296023233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440768395971051,0.05303345692820348,0.10453321311689782,0.0,0.08690626292593498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145777777297136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25293363683298603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863098716075637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713715141680052
mentalhealth,Shadow_Heart_,2019/03/29,I feel like my mind is fading I feel like I cant think anymore. It seems like I keep misunderstanding things and sometimes I can hear words and not understand them. Or I say something and someones reply doesnt make sense to me. It's like I cant communicate. I feel like one day soon I'll just be a hollow shell. Its ike I'm screaming but no one hears a thing. Nobody seems to understand what I'm saying or feeling. I somt want to be alone but I have nothing to say around people. I feel like I'm becoming more and more isolated ,0.396571428571427,2.776975981818186,2.277922077922078,92.72545454545455,89.18181818181819,5.324675324675325,19.67532467532468,6.868970318607317,0.3218051948051941,418,13,91,6,14,138,67,110,0.123,0.731,0.146,-0.1494,0,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,1,0,26,26,8,0,1,6,0,5,6,0,0,0,6,0,0,6,5,0,1,10,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,11,14,6,5,24,2,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,4,9,51,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795459957958214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209819691889685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185758709565754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710847711256725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590271325518803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33674856288577104,0.3806312416925409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002512267899326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183939116533381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39044753552823297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891175756514734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449361031884596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780859460242558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805189725966088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234382112334666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317776969646034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425197998402333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285957645905142,0.10254354838262954,0.1317377958635732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698377175717372,0.08534891595974971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277330931870778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785645665502198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,atotallunatic,2019/03/29,"I hear voices in my headphones 15M here. I've got a myriad of issues with my mental health, including ASD, depression, anxiety, and paranoia. I've also been put on antipsychotics, antidepressants, anxiolytics, and some off-label prescriptions. As far as I know, I've only hallucinated once during sleep paralysis, but I could be wrong.

Why? Because occasionally, when I'm up late at night (like now), I hear random things, but only when I'm wearing headphones.

The ""voices"", I guess you could call them, are very quiet, nearly unintelligible, and sound distorted, as if they were coming from CB radios. They happen rarely, and are most noticeable when there is no sound coming through my headphones. If I push the microphone button, they stop.

I don't know if I'm hallucinating, or if there is some interference coming through my headphones. I guess I'm just looking for answers. If this has nothing to do with my mental health, sorry for wasting your time.",6.164932126696832,8.223032000000002,6.654705882352946,70.64309954751133,67.23529411764707,9.230769230769232,30.135746606334838,9.661875296680813,3.1122850678733034,760,29,122,17,13,247,110,170,0.142,0.858,0.0,-0.9661,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,2,4,0,10,3,0,0,3,0,12,4,2,0,0,31,28,19,0,7,9,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,2,9,0,2,3,1,0,5,2,2,0,0,3,8,19,1,17,22,3,19,0,1,1,0,9,6,0,12,9,78,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193313354749168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707587779770032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532378405827304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292396631684262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617126180138872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235076639521005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055506747852135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194597052549947,0.0,0.3083831981080696,0.0,0.12377409659815672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975609365626805,0.3155104002895133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609123804403548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384656917590167,0.0,0.15789109309762908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838176790795454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753868146229493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821115984092789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135139518801664,0.0,0.13430400026862946,0.15935559835591487,0.0,0.14906238336944652,0.0,0.21290541558920775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070747304035713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007005242440945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668380081792746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117020325069304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298916322317263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161703113840077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548905775640016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630022329927068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303409436813248,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anon2608,2019/03/29,"Binge... everything??? I am always to the extremes. I don't know what's wrong with me. I obviously have depression and that's not what I'm asking here. I'm binge everything. I binge eat. I binge drink alcohol. If I ever become obsessed with adrenaline I'm sure I'm going to binge on it too. Anything addictive I will binge on. 

What do I do???? I can't stop myself from overindulgence ",-0.24755639097744364,1.8041128157894728,2.2087218045112813,88.89605263157898,105.05263157894736,5.855639097744362,19.902255639097746,7.1686216300943375,1.1535781954887216,298,11,59,7,14,101,46,76,0.08,0.805,0.115,0.3187,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,0,3,10,14,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,3,3,1,1,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,11,1,7,13,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,37,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272544317749225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26718124057050824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20802568779143107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573429697610585,0.0,0.23372261244376644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761128719668249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533049315574335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449114884361176,0.0,0.25581937381942976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261454665470281,0.0,0.0,0.4493799881562863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208462760038934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373972007309784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209016881939932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23562845319555514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733431924444286,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,subtlelexie,2019/03/29,"Having difficulty connecting w people IRL Lately I’ve been having a really hard time getting out of my own headspace to connect w the people around me. Not that I don’t reach out to other people, or that I’m easily distracted, moreso I feel like I’m so wrapped up in my own thoughts/reality that it’s hard to drift down and REALLY feel a mental connection w other people. I’m generally a pretty nervous person when it comes to socialization so I thought it was that, but recently I feel this way even when I’m talking to my closest friends/family i.e when I’m not so nervous. 

Not sure if that makes sense to anyone, but it’s been bugging me to the point of keeping me from trying to make new friends or even starting a relationship. Wondering if I’m just overthinking things, or if there’s actually something I need to work on to help fix this?",6.911547619047616,6.3435618214285725,7.915000000000003,71.56333333333336,64.71428571428572,11.276190476190472,35.333333333333336,10.746095033038511,3.7786261904761904,678,28,127,16,9,231,96,168,0.09,0.826,0.084,0.4734,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,11,6,0,3,6,0,6,0,0,2,1,28,24,15,0,4,12,0,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,14,5,0,1,5,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,4,5,11,3,20,20,2,20,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,7,9,81,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.14907156958842713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681323313215198,0.0,0.0,0.13598864604488434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315890773096189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179286940856972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400838343963254,0.0,0.23171989758945394,0.10913166140501676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180218747296185,0.0,0.07981071233758295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736856260738185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239170182567213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577996615847165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17231975514323755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463074243760093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039367610157943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394599089543032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132694869782274,0.0,0.14753640698239467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.423617759797818,0.13338400151605093,0.0,0.0,0.14440742671341442,0.0,0.0,0.1554116771229859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387414319493416,0.19572373241384772,0.0,0.15083191455498604,0.16400690116839708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557194210722508,0.0,0.11760198928075935,0.0,0.0,0.10812420217778887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397434292641675,0.0,0.0,0.1227825742866347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014868509883809,0.0,0.0,0.12127425083842555,0.08907549213425774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037139050680198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125365192464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566153198208358,0.11121098408967127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Iridious02,2019/03/29,"I feel like im going insane Its been almost 4 months since the death of my dog, my best friend, Finn. (Snow storm, no power, zone collar wouldn't work, let him out to pee, he wanted to run. Dad comes home, not expecting him to be out, finn hears truck gets excited runs out in road from tree line right as he passes) Thank god i didn't see it actually happen. Probably would've killed myself. However i carried my boy, my buddy, up to his turf and buried him. I still get flashbacks of his body. I try to be positive my days will go on as normal. Then randomly i get angry or sad. Some nights, like tonight, i just break down. I get flashbacks and i cant control my breathing and i feel like my heart is about to implode. Ill squeeze my head, and just stare at a wall in the dark for 10 minutes (fucking weird). Im starting to realize I have a problem. Almost 4 months in and i cant get past the death of my best pal? Well i dont know HOW he was so meaningful to me. I feel mentally weak as my dad was and is a marine. He has seen so much fucked up shit yet i cant get over the death of my dog? 
Brain: your father seen 22 of his men die overseas? WHY cant you get past Finn? Why do you have  multiple mood swings from happy, sad, angry, etc everyday? Why are WE so lonely? WHY are you so weak? 
I feel insane. Tonight im finally reaching out. Texted my father for advice tonight and here on this forum. I might just have grief idk but it feels so intense. My sister is also diagnosed with severe anxiety so idk if its a family thing. I want to get better so I can pursue business and maybe get a girl and at least be more social i feel so lonely.

Guess im posting here for some answers: 1. Am I insane? 2. What condition, if any, do I have? 3. How do YOU cope? 4. How can i be happy and just live my life?",-0.3198941769316903,1.8464398605263168,1.9095072788353882,95.77282754759241,89.86842105263159,5.023516237402016,17.558790593505034,6.56484139541529,-0.14803863381858928,1377,36,316,17,47,462,206,380,0.153,0.746,0.101,-0.957,2,4,0,0,0,0,59.0,1,5,0,6,22,26,4,0,9,0,33,14,7,4,0,53,64,30,6,8,9,5,7,3,2,3,5,1,1,3,7,17,0,1,10,0,0,6,9,13,1,0,6,12,51,12,39,50,8,41,0,5,4,2,28,18,3,10,18,185,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.08295542076464749,0.0,0.0,0.08306870890017577,0.0,0.0,0.1702462093556635,0.0,0.0,0.0679807647107825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578082681613565,0.0,0.06503078958008036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17842103467538314,0.07518255489702297,0.0,0.09442458239584596,0.0,0.09489689920128704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322675481575265,0.0,0.0,0.09534355707336943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054823045063310115,0.0,0.0,0.08628120091300262,0.08822475036379622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962859314935543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948062483539734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013785643267847,0.0,0.25789520640515845,0.12145928181467305,0.0,0.09312196887729823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567687121467118,0.1571768161582583,0.3997179420323203,0.0,0.0966238655923366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936457551349106,0.0,0.07517218067123,0.18098492141012087,0.0,0.0,0.08724260168093105,0.0,0.09581005018851654,0.10073473789090424,0.0,0.0,0.08526982696612342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672923577351862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404861565970893,0.0,0.046718103430342425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869263088159432,0.06004357413833964,0.12459165737602547,0.0,0.07506350859655496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540183349084317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566794114410692,0.09017991875463456,0.0,0.0,0.13570494518505188,0.0,0.062490567221063276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977412949777701,0.08328966590630818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229926577181392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141404325120964,0.0,0.09165286401867463,0.0813410531613328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259625841031161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774026816193683,0.0,0.0,0.09603469909241127,0.08725935924936551,0.07031939035675153,0.0,0.0,0.08665482044591502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016900949835185,0.0,0.06788739657297163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782638275826516,0.0,0.0,0.05647545302611345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057714765181691725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027969103995676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643228617087824,0.0,0.3068255302397693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188674342317652,0.0,0.0,0.060387153438029674,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Panjuu,2019/03/29,"Finally moving away from my abusive father Hello,
I'm 18 years old and have a really abusive father. He was an alcoholic and hit my family and me all the time. He's clean now but he's still very aggressive and I can't stand it anymore. I tried to behave and act like a good daughter so he wouldn't hurt me anymore. Sadly, it's getting more dangerous because he's losing his mind. He gets mad at little things and screams at me. Sometimes he was a good and caring father but it's been years since this thought crossed my mind. He wasn't even there for me when I told him I was raped. 

But..
I'm finally moving out! I'm taking my final exams right now and then I will move together with my boyfriend who helped me a lot. I feel so relieved. I never thought I'll be able to leave my father. I will do it and I overcame it by myself.

 Don't worry if you're in a similar situation. You can make it out of there sometime. Fight for you and your future. And if it's to hard for you ask for help! You can do it!♡ ",0.4554916700528224,2.532915126168227,2.6508451848841936,92.62940471353107,84.65420560747663,5.590898008939456,20.519301097115,6.8959733430537185,0.38068695652173945,783,24,174,10,23,265,120,214,0.168,0.6940000000000001,0.138,-0.7304,0,0,1,0,1,0,22.0,0,5,0,1,9,14,5,0,7,0,16,2,0,1,2,29,30,20,0,3,5,5,2,1,0,3,1,1,1,0,10,14,1,0,3,0,0,5,5,9,0,0,8,3,28,5,17,17,3,28,0,3,0,1,27,8,0,3,15,108,38,1,0.11795996863318872,0.27952654774702834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606333255167254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339691841900263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102766472467546,0.0,0.1108272735355996,0.0,0.0,0.07190730201394692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026804964133285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791144677526113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120216025900707,0.0,0.059644104441426135,0.0,0.0,0.38765813939982907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325842998535995,0.0,0.0,0.19787845023342754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566896219623692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581321609708073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627858612792914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490257470765245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057629282286011566,0.11822687776612835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319670319091158,0.0,0.10028534704354004,0.0,0.0,0.0787391950368214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382118834248088,0.0,0.0,0.3761183358595309,0.0,0.0,0.09097799981131237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377914407799792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556817644404511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073716869042462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975777050180552,0.13259194707264754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23333085041362306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942029833255678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869121611292975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836736166490431,0.0,0.0,0.18729407767678816,0.06878340631895177,0.0,0.0,0.11271580509241255,0.0,0.08008707560623396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732932788967667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197940740601408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192470466056993
mentalhealth,A_Wild_Nabob,2019/03/29,"Why do I get like this So sometimes (tonight Especially) I get so fucking angry. Tonight was one of the higher ones. I had a complete rage fit. When I get this angry I cant control myself it seems. Hurting myself via punching myself in the face multiple times, biting my cheek extremely hard and pulling my hair. I also cant think straight and the best way to describe it is like I'm going insane, like all my fear anxiety and depression is mixing in the overflowing anger cauldron. And it doesnt go away. I hate that I get like this and I cant talk about it. (Faceless internet isnt it great). I know this probably isnt normal but do I have anything wrong with me besides the obvious anger problems? ",1.7907608695652186,4.373405956521744,3.2505615942029,87.11975543478262,83.63768115942028,6.058695652173912,26.74094202898551,7.413659706084162,1.6906507246376818,554,25,105,9,16,181,86,138,0.236,0.672,0.092,-0.9643,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,2,5,16,5,1,6,0,13,4,3,1,2,15,25,10,0,2,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,3,0,0,3,6,10,0,2,2,2,18,6,7,23,2,14,0,2,0,1,1,6,1,1,8,68,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766868858868495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169465741470812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14166518914372184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617410568220717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066132357363965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049651862001145,0.0,0.1930814183028645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482729690172278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937171674678709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915035855444098,0.35976611337745645,0.0,0.19567418694183186,0.0,0.0,0.18979652839038053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542130296422115,0.1699629733032705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842906653096324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460940988187587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364161446358395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867093400749072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23330726129086776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18560735008687973,0.16472477420318055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15671934505181534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026124134944834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836804686925552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103070860103472,0.0,0.0,0.10038233798357994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664504991897114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533904536578844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18821954155405646,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,prodbytuck,2019/03/29,The inevitable No matter what I do I'm always aware of the outcome of my life. In sure I'll end up committing suicide. I don't have much to live for and I'm tired of loving in a mental caged where I can't think,0.8587500000000006,2.0680740416666694,3.1025000000000027,94.1925,79.41666666666666,5.633333333333334,20.333333333333336,5.985473137389443,-0.1096416666666662,166,4,40,1,4,57,36,48,0.191,0.637,0.171,-0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,0,2,5,8,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,8,8,1,5,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,24,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782524806966886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961843525860978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362007624651168,0.0,0.0,0.2952865184701248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018143626038908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370024737440514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458267988925041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36578575623928794,0.0,0.3151735841879404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142737850633031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843503657470218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,letmeletugo,2019/03/29,"What’s wrong with me Intense feelings of being annoying or as if people ignore me a lot 
I will be feeling very emotional for at least 2/3 of the month and 75% of my day is spent feeling that way
Mom ignoring me after big fight and making me feel neglected or unwanted 
I realized when I’m most stressed that’s when my stomach starts to hurt really bad and having to go to the hospital
I start to bite the inside of my lips and cheeks when I think about things but it’s getting really bad now I can’t bite down properly anymore because I have scars from biting my cheeks so much
 if I catch myself doing it I don’t realize it until my mouth starts to bleed and if I try to stop myself I get really anxious and feel like if I don’t make the texture even something bad will happen
And the stomach pain is like an anxiety thing too and usually when I get my stomach pain I get the panic attack thing really bad and that’s usually why my mom would take me to hospital because she thinks it’s from food 
And that’s probably why when I got the surgery they couldn’t find anything from the biopsies beside an inflammed lining 
can’t focus in school, thinking about personal and home issues
Can’t focus at home, thinking about school or work issues
Can’t focus st work, thinking about school and home issues",8.285,6.358265287356327,8.354568965517242,73.90357758620692,62.793103448275865,11.611877394636016,35.92624521072797,10.317481424215053,3.5156613026819934,1044,37,199,19,12,342,136,261,0.217,0.741,0.042,-0.9938,0,0,1,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,1,2,13,18,3,2,11,0,17,12,7,2,0,45,42,28,0,7,8,2,5,2,0,3,4,0,3,1,12,13,1,4,13,0,1,2,7,16,0,0,2,5,30,2,27,34,4,24,0,2,0,0,6,5,0,9,18,130,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849813762976252,0.10115513094861442,0.08879998638735959,0.0,0.0,0.0736840948130159,0.0,0.0,0.10186509684065984,0.0,0.0,0.2990498739116679,0.10916595639884168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057746130875513335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072086394946364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05914056961829254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263715061802003,0.06396765790386476,0.0,0.0,0.08183827561623504,0.0,0.10827257029112576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712458980816266,0.0,0.05088785547892905,0.0,0.07161361320465115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918025308929247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694488740290799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585481753073652,0.0,0.0,0.2803706475033259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748980341538977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612402020503012,0.0,0.0,0.11953778394581335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20973719727771545,0.07147026871693088,0.0,0.06582247427273248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905545325521679,0.1050563311269546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062076018068168724,0.07818319696574415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653966273901926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294474142064337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27185890297726434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893255103307504,0.0,0.0,0.1901314033065521,0.0,0.0,0.07485975830355407,0.10256819080434984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732321447178223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17845992855379048,0.2868692666583054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607920333462459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19723213380192506,0.07388018231216774,0.0,0.07107297759468645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159251282661893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037291091901607,0.0,0.0,0.0636069094959101,0.09789833782991918,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonymous9671111,2019/03/29,"Scared of being a pedophile? I’m 22f. I’ve never had a nice butt and have always found myself looking at other women and comparing myself to them. I work with kids and have noticed lately that I sometimes find myself looking at my students’ butts when they’re in front of me. I do not feel any sexual attraction or anything like that but I’m not sure why I look. I also don’t go out of my way to look. Could it be me trying to compare myself to them? I know when I see a little girl with a bigger butt, I’ve thought “wow she has a butt and I don’t”. Is this worrisome? ",0.8167906336088181,2.7433842809917373,3.0681198347107457,91.02521005509644,82.22314049586777,5.355647382920111,20.00068870523416,6.42735559955562,0.16952837465564752,442,12,95,4,12,151,77,121,0.095,0.826,0.079,-0.2111,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,3,6,0,1,5,0,11,4,4,0,2,19,23,9,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,3,6,19,5,13,17,0,13,0,0,5,4,6,6,4,1,5,65,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036281924050918,0.15645112848149062,0.0,0.0,0.12786284786782118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547278284282338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501219585684121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507064355794664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17185063751606994,0.0,0.0,0.20615874047681865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685843928198238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333313800222377,0.0,0.21209939486820725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185908659411987,0.1884495619531136,0.0,0.0,0.6315716161733019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14501579112769394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140667045686452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18824494319954346,0.0,0.14983087848850538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18596066047509344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721050604939376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927014720131274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765603390081745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924479307319652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16966252122233874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688379726694827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,noelnoel65,2019/03/29,"So today I finally got help After years of neglecting help and not opening up, I finally made the decision to seek therapy. Ever since I was little I always had issues with opening up to people, my mother even warned me that if I continued to keep things inside, I would “blow up one day” and I never new what that meant until about a year ago when I started sink into a deep depression and anxiety. I didn’t realise how bad it had become until I was deep into it. I knew I needed help, I knew what I needed to do and how. But I wouldn’t do it. Everyday I would plan to go to the counciling center(it’s free at my university) but I either wouldn’t go or just walk right past the building. Today though, I knew I couldn’t go any further. It had gotten to the point where I was legitimately worried about my future. So I finally walked through the doors for a drop in appointment, and now I’m on the schedule for a licensed therapist. It was terrifying as fuck(and still is) but I’m proud of myself and for hopefully what’s to come of this. To anyone who feels like they can’t do it. You can. I promise. ",2.337142857142858,4.236899857142856,4.423535714285716,83.29646428571431,77.21428571428572,7.515714285714287,24.59285714285714,8.395991825355821,1.6923275000000002,864,30,172,17,20,297,129,224,0.093,0.807,0.101,0.4118,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,1,2,14,8,0,0,10,0,19,0,0,3,2,41,38,20,0,9,8,1,1,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,14,12,0,2,6,0,1,6,7,3,0,1,15,1,29,6,31,18,1,48,0,2,0,0,7,17,0,3,25,130,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008529171039722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272124506028522,0.0,0.0,0.09212371651457786,0.0,0.1036335841660666,0.0,0.0,0.09472322995901576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311114196048792,0.0,0.1496151126128072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116694739636542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873664412118551,0.0,0.11667944255180795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947614360398909,0.12253966721397433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849730912488862,0.09677923938775716,0.0,0.44519973361870707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252391129761146,0.0,0.0,0.230970842549512,0.0,0.10834711231996574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27240649215987395,0.0,0.0,0.13455150440324856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413946719387678,0.0,0.12041126910130788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618341913855075,0.13577574965803746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818425352797275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20089742343261685,0.10448221555173907,0.13083701893593971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179745091482086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932070122524034,0.09391730148830528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806220247486375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568997554369308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206154048105127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588581270965098,0.0,0.10818589581934307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492086181354242,0.15729020823115974,0.08999973170080086,0.0,0.13309782296924916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568179652374781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757557094826695,0.0,0.19246689725834606,0.0,0.0,0.17447547509179498
mentalhealth,Syncto12,2019/03/29,"Alcohol Show You What You Could Be, Weed Shows You What You Are In The Present Thoughts? 

Upvote this so reddit can discuss.",2.472028985507244,5.3932637391304405,1.7652173913043503,96.06202898550728,85.52173913043478,4.8057971014492775,25.057971014492754,6.42735559955562,0.8025188405797108,98,4,19,1,3,28,19,23,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,14,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6884301254061744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.51432352931801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5114051912359758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrtestcat,2019/03/29,"I literally dont care about anything. I have to fake it. I literally dont care about anyone or anything. ""Why do you not care?"" ""Because I don't lmao.""
The only thing I remotely care about is my gf. But the care feels so hallow and empty of emotion. Probably because most of the time I dont feel. 

 I wonder if I dont care because if i dont I dont have to worry about not being able to feel shit. And maybe I dont feel shit because that shit hurts fam so fuck that lmao

Any piece of advice or experience is welcome. But Im quite a bit pessimistic lmao. Even if I do agree with ssomething being recommended to help Im just like yeah okay. Like Im faking that im interested enought to try it. No need to worry about consequences of my not caring because Ill just adapt to the situation *whip*

Fuck this. Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck that.
",-0.3823699421965329,1.8795529132948017,2.1145803468208086,92.22738497109829,95.01156069364158,4.8489248554913305,19.058728323699427,6.55674776486733,0.19791995375722532,646,21,141,9,25,220,83,173,0.285,0.539,0.17600000000000002,-0.9754,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,1,10,23,8,0,5,2,16,9,3,0,0,22,34,11,0,4,12,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,12,11,0,0,0,4,17,12,17,32,3,1,0,1,0,5,5,0,8,7,3,83,25,0,0.06963817719097729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804962078904782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0473563484847129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04869263266020009,0.0,0.114612572541869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21225393228713807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602685336278367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4970053395119314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5713079752082115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833357629744851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04599535926134948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681194998113186,0.0,0.0,0.14084461912346005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218968633921048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667700226133716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454910897397975,0.0,0.3008847253498342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804339163062452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996090899552893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163582600497045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052962971770184934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508173322154255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406877337526853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444776447712613,0.0,0.07827622888790617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626451058647152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04060658113544522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04727975114266825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283762338928878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551963259785906,0.0,0.1414418985100002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shemdaedalus,2019/03/30,"Why is my first reaction self-harm/Suicidal thoughts? Ive noticed a pattern over the last few months, my initial thought/reaction when disappointing or angering anyone (particularly those close to me, but in rare cases total strangers as well) is always something to the effect of “Why did I do that. I’m a terrible person. I should be punished. I should die.” 

The most recent was tonight (roughly 35 mins ago), I was joking and having a good time with my roommates when I casually mentioned an incident from over 2 months ago. 

Approximately 3 months ago I moved to a new state with said roommates, and after a month we had all made friends with this nice couple. One night the couple came to one of my Standup shows to support me and the young woman was picked out of the crowd and subjected to sexual comments from the comedian. They were uncomfortable, the boyfriend was uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable, the whole venue was uncomfortable and the comic was forced off stage by our silence. The girl, my new friend, recovered quickly and seemed fine, but was understandably put off of Comedy Shows. 

Now, 2 months later, I casually bring up the event to one of my roommates—thinking it wasn’t a big deal—and she bursts into angry tears. 

Seeing that instantly filled me with feelings of extreme guilt and the only thing on my mind was “I should kill myself... clearly what I did (not telling my roommate) was bad and I need to die for it.” 

There are hundreds of examples of this train of thought. 

Why does my mind go to that immediately? Help?",7.297981708584494,7.8942969399293315,6.9970525878195815,74.5474225732696,63.69964664310954,10.051049677821661,34.66826023695697,9.916854025145753,3.3562327582623164,1226,51,219,24,17,386,171,283,0.188,0.685,0.127,-0.975,0,0,1,0,0,1,39.0,2,0,1,2,6,17,3,1,20,0,25,0,0,3,3,39,39,14,3,4,4,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,10,17,0,0,6,7,0,6,2,7,1,4,20,4,29,10,37,15,5,44,0,1,1,0,15,11,0,3,25,147,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825226521031141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883991276789021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428458490523926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870489564521752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150879615580745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351022513800083,0.0,0.0,0.10952745791173116,0.0,0.0,0.2205180419286701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297022193968582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371749018345109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036660303764746,0.0,0.0,0.16415954684530246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060377914236481374,0.08910799992285455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712095762371559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753740580654375,0.0,0.0,0.0865987382841636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052564792008647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21454164882331486,0.0,0.4239936733859732,0.11291494889318525,0.0,0.07877466654526596,0.0,0.20521204030099985,0.0,0.09969784420400482,0.0,0.0,0.12095348964647615,0.0,0.0,0.21597032342067526,0.08079933571782202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276355461837543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067992593869041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489792167715012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010573534656112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465850701303462,0.09671574286442723,0.11083015731212173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178775889072837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620791910986684,0.12055844324210707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285732607612288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705802865239031,0.06807348360965744,0.0,0.2530250359170494,0.061948653405487726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059825677258547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955213702335978,0.0,0.287591767884864,0.11861173960372225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crannberry_hands,2019/03/30,"Is this common? When I get super depressed I have this tendency to stop exercising and compulsively eat to the point where I will vomit before I stop.

It's like in these few days I just lose all possible self control and it just makes me hate myself anymore. The reason I'm bringing this up now is because I like just got out of one and honestly I'm still kinda in it just like I'm slowly recovering.",3.927407407407408,5.236586617283951,5.554012345679013,79.28805555555559,71.71604938271605,8.362962962962964,27.08024691358025,8.841846274778883,2.073928395061728,320,11,62,6,6,109,55,81,0.158,0.682,0.161,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,8,8,1,0,2,0,4,3,0,3,1,15,12,4,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,7,4,1,3,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,8,5,7,10,2,14,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,1,10,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22471305776207487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812511050900889,0.0,0.19280853876677664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541361798870302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461296354974746,0.0,0.19515873799642186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318546965548672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838216555248204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812220322918696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22370739316707025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320963557817664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25349248762604226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512483393375253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354096900034706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141976107654056,0.2554423873855195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329688002725681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363792785782577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809523806024407,0.3788731479831863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Helloineverknew,2019/03/30,"Help Keeping My Composure I voluntarily checked myself in for psychiatric evaluation after having my twins. I was there for 72 hours and returned home to my babies. My fiancé visited me once while there. 
This is something that has been used against me by said fiancé. 
He would have me believe nobody in my family cares about me because they didn’t come visit me although I feel it would have been completely unnecessary and unwanted to have visitors. 
We were just fighting and he grabs one of my 3 year olds and tells them mommy is crazy, mommy is insane and mommy is racist (I am white, he is black) saying this is how crazy white women treat black men. 
This was brought up tonight because he accused me of cheating because there was a random car parked on our public street in front of our house. I denied it and he starts calling me insane saying he has proof and I’m the one that was in the “mental institute” 
I constantly question whether I am in an abusive relationship. I try my best to keep my composure but I failed tonight. Frustrated angry tears as my 3 year old looks at my with fear and concern. This fueled him because obviously now I am acting out. I removed myself from the situation but I feel so broken and alone. ",4.265944206008584,6.465925326180263,4.9569334763948465,80.27376931330474,72.56223175965665,7.578454935622318,28.388197424892702,8.395991825355821,2.2136525321888416,983,39,174,17,20,316,140,233,0.197,0.77,0.033,-0.9903,0,1,1,0,2,0,16.0,3,0,2,2,8,8,3,1,5,0,25,0,0,2,2,30,37,17,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,1,2,8,13,0,2,3,0,1,8,1,5,0,2,10,11,37,3,24,25,1,31,0,1,5,0,26,10,0,2,13,123,45,1,0.0,0.16939738036435284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807494672998334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34861543387298405,0.0,0.0,0.16107947592310035,0.15003935385759254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598948311517934,0.0,0.1457685698548346,0.0,0.0,0.1231569472470922,0.14990248322991326,0.15450097285909092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347804334905646,0.16088224121835956,0.14458097276254667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958305178370797,0.0,0.14341167525255982,0.0,0.140797738879118,0.1649694592560525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25415857412001913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005971982809455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408124646242154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30004824829061416,0.1522595605259085,0.19376184144968786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016035783572138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153497461098763,0.0,0.0,0.1359982607058569,0.22739272193292556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070551203488828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006614140112116,0.0,0.0,0.10119568383637023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249630472902366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970679952804742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348113037719405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20312514159837114,0.0,0.0,0.18413740798186584
mentalhealth,FakeNewsMediaCorrupt,2019/03/30,"Lexapro Withdrawal hell Hello, please help. I took Lexapro 10 mg for two years for depression. It helped a little, I think at least. Anyways, I tapered over 3 months and I’ve been off for about a year. The sexual dysfunction has not gone away, and I have developed an anxiety disorder that I never had before Lexapro. I read many stories online like this with SSRI’s. Why does this class of drugs do this?",1.6440259740259755,4.408186129870135,2.4646753246753232,89.85987012987015,90.2987012987013,6.436363636363637,22.584415584415584,7.686295010490155,1.4852701298701303,320,12,61,7,11,100,63,77,0.191,0.703,0.106,-0.836,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,0,5,1,0,0,1,6,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,4,0,6,1,10,4,1,11,1,1,0,0,3,5,1,0,5,37,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757992616487746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21590821469753185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955460897632031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792965779634664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633750395718201,0.0,0.20110283529650586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26649942533582704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080652575153599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227051839975173,0.2303237578027096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329849623981104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342718364384705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723884103043655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522555401524931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22986596679278856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14724898227406116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25532045363178496,0.0,0.0,0.224484899923195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20736216651930184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29597219804542924
mentalhealth,cyberallie,2019/03/30,"How much is a psychiatrist supposed to charge you for writing an emotional support animal certificate? Hello, 
I am wanting to get my dog certified as an emotional support animal. I have been in treatment with a psychiatrist for depression/anxiety for about a year now. I brought up the topic of getting my dog certified as an ESA, and my psychiatrist told me that he charges $150 for the certification. Is this a common charge? This psychiatrist has done questionable things in the past so I just want to confirm that this price is fair/accurate. Thanks",6.071439393939393,8.416115272727275,6.876654040404045,67.80164772727275,67.98989898989899,11.414646464646466,36.61742424242424,11.20814326018867,5.087433333333333,448,24,72,16,8,148,66,99,0.044,0.8190000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.7986,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,10,0,8,0,0,1,0,8,17,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,9,3,15,13,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,4,54,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256870451127396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308474916952763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5074961045791421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357133285866689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16582785322380278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21534241101965612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527021371662098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5119728667017089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076845048821135,0.0,0.0,0.14986586858833062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155521338849964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661068162219715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526664762135522
mentalhealth,roseshee,2019/03/30,"Overworked Friend I have a friend who is a workaholic who also seems to always create very stressful situations for himself and put unnecessary burden on himself. Is there a term for this or any articles someone can link me to? I use to kind of joke about it, but I am starting to feel like it's a kind of pathology. He is notorious for not checking in with his well being and very consistently creates more work for himself despite already being very overworked. He has high blood pressure and I feel like his health is starting to fail and I am worried about him but can't seem to get him to pause or evaluate his situation. Thanks for any info in advance!",6.182142857142857,6.9600141587301625,6.566785714285718,76.0344642857143,66.14285714285714,8.839682539682537,35.59126984126985,8.841846274778883,3.1208603174603176,528,25,94,8,8,171,79,126,0.13,0.7040000000000001,0.166,0.4795,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,5,13,0,2,4,0,12,3,1,1,0,17,21,9,0,0,5,0,2,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,6,1,1,2,2,4,1,0,0,2,14,9,20,19,2,9,0,1,0,0,14,4,0,4,5,68,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199238474255196,0.12463901095979675,0.12968574289822585,0.0,0.0,0.21197659071897326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761224808401933,0.22268894475773576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408298966908263,0.0,0.08142899632426254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656690010277767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646717740775963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.324602747492164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15228798925947373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667961503964692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283773229276346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35038022704289923,0.0,0.0,0.13205736804848126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22063317075677746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785339883027887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349244386011664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461064884844282,0.0,0.3857957374881103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401344129367144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134659565040754,0.1582806339082894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kyledukes,2019/03/30,"Disappointed in these reddit groups. There are a ton of posts with no one commenting. I figured there would be a better online presence for this since mental health is suppose to be so important now. Very disappointing, I try and comment on as many of the depression posts as I can without getting too depressed myself. Ha. Wish there was a way to bring attention to the depression group so people have someone to talk to. Sometimes that's all it takes. ",4.413403614457831,7.133744481927715,4.663478915662652,80.10678463855425,74.06024096385542,7.523493975903612,29.65210843373494,8.472884824447931,2.588615662650603,364,16,61,7,8,114,66,83,0.17,0.693,0.13699999999999998,-0.6279,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,5,1,8,1,0,0,1,8,12,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,1,0,4,2,14,8,2,7,0,5,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,47,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819256294313568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5315093576063025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747017088211944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21865031688988373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20854831134598148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20729801130165115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938817641039114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260702511213444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940089847522462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015781612374906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17428960875187052,0.0,0.20344333745773602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466139155807304,0.16533450026253427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965733137885133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972469146958585,0.0,0.16327570962282598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365457526615791,0.1982882175937664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461239367806651,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnswerMyQuestionssss,2019/03/30,"Does medical help do anything if life circumstances do not allow you to get more sleep? I’ve been sleep deprived for multiple years due to raising children, and I don’t see it getting better anytime soon. I know my emotional health is not well, but I don’t know if medical help can do anything if I’ll never be getting any sleep. Any knowledge anyone can give?",6.7655714285714295,6.783879128571428,6.912142857142857,76.67535714285717,64.85714285714286,9.857142857142858,37.5,9.516144504307137,3.5980000000000008,289,14,52,5,4,93,48,70,0.069,0.802,0.129,0.6393,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,10,7,3,1,1,12,17,5,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,1,1,5,2,3,15,1,4,0,1,1,0,5,0,0,3,4,30,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427261498900529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124787653945028,0.0,0.2937248051447912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783877176630948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617689588494574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075035333368407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797235303223096,0.1712009551170298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18970112991823013,0.0,0.0,0.23924414381233405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961606139827697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260558916551284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595716613095161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376440664377838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221438391453126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5357849895129428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604624661801724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492632386516805
mentalhealth,daletrossi,2019/03/30,"Need a strategy for dealing with 91 year old mother. My mom has been in the same assisted living facility for the last year and a half. In the last year she has been loosing her ability to form short term memories and she is continually confused. She is also an infinite sink for empathy. 

Many times each week, and increasingly so, she insists that she must go home. (Her house was sold, she can't possibly live alone).  She also insists alternately that she is getting thrown out of the facility and will have to live on the streets or that she is in prison and being punished for something.  She has enough money and is in a fine facility. 

My question is, when she does this, what would probably be an effective strategy when responding to her.  Some family members seem to like to placate her by telling her stories, short of outright lies, to try to calm her down. Others try to tell her the unvarnished truth of the matter, which in the episodes, she rejects but accepts at more normal times. 

Is either of these approaches good approaches? Are there better approaches? Any insight or even better, proven successful ways to handle this? Families opinions are irrelevant to my question. The goal is her peace and happiness as far as possible.  

Thanks in advance for any input. ",5.385181134654819,7.652226939393945,5.804392800182272,75.1025290498975,69.64935064935065,9.538482570061518,32.93711551606288,9.93914555978268,3.6939038961038966,1017,48,171,27,19,326,139,231,0.037000000000000005,0.7909999999999999,0.172,0.9883,1,1,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,6,7,14,1,1,14,0,23,0,0,1,2,30,29,17,0,4,4,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,9,10,0,0,6,0,2,6,1,3,0,2,4,0,23,11,33,20,9,35,0,1,0,0,28,14,0,8,15,128,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315863588879545,0.0,0.20563305184016445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486256081683785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22741753898163206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254892016219527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125115360138848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328460721035705,0.0,0.08491856491771474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24240668748415656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717195881729476,0.0,0.07306868511584493,0.10783751757578487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686401544962515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896511846788314,0.0,0.0,0.1483512818539485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20960167369583416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628122843499793,0.0,0.340586158898234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034871412379362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057837553511064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953322316229313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597025246720486,0.0,0.0,0.1349114631662082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898842987974352,0.0,0.0,0.13861905068465893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28805324930159315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170443240789514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897864270883344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22474982137279487,0.11836899586950705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499391526281378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17457972635408328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205203129972687,0.10313023953455054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133167820509053,0.0,0.0,0.2483825245705689
mentalhealth,Toymaker23,2019/03/30,"I been having suicidal thoughts Everyday i wake up thinking maybe I should throw myself off 5th floow on the cliff should kill me painlessly.
Maybe cutting my throat would be easier.
Then i eat my breakfast.
This has been going on for couple of months and I dont know what to do. ",2.520555555555553,5.1933273518518535,2.997777777777781,89.60000000000002,81.03703703703705,6.562962962962962,21.962962962962962,7.793537801064563,1.1405407407407404,223,7,43,4,6,69,44,54,0.183,0.7340000000000001,0.084,-0.7783,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,10,4,2,0,0,7,14,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,3,0,9,0,7,7,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30794862376093624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261813806011348,0.0,0.0,0.2847842189318159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817199100000912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079126817892623,0.0,0.15295383578418312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5592066910380069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221472018003092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304429826170935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783320701452818,0.0,0.22094985233119596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977059442108213,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamcece,2019/03/30,"I dont know why im isolating myself I have a problem that's been going on for a year or two now. Over this course of time, I've really been cutting myself off from people. My family, especially my parents, get frustrated with me when I don't want to go do something with them. I don't like being in the same room as my parents, and I'm always in my room. It's breaking their hearts and I don't want to do that to them. At school, I'm quiet and I don't talk to very many people. The friends I used to talk to on a daily basis have moved on and found other friends. People who don't know me very well think I'm rude or being anti-social on purpose. I can say that through all of this, I do have a boyfriend who is always there by my side, and even though I have this issue, he loves me. I didn't think I could love someone this much. I don't know why I'm isolating myself like this. I don't display any symptoms of depression, but sometimes I'll sit and wonder what's wrong with me. I just want to be able to be myself again. For my family, my boyfriend, my friends, and myself.",2.832844827586208,3.397121250000001,4.357241379310345,89.64939655172415,73.56896551724137,7.179310344827586,23.98275862068965,7.1686216300943375,0.7403482758620683,838,22,192,8,16,281,115,232,0.108,0.8340000000000001,0.058,-0.6696,2,0,1,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,3,0,8,14,3,0,6,0,25,4,1,1,1,29,45,13,0,5,4,2,0,2,3,0,1,2,2,0,13,10,0,0,7,0,0,3,9,6,1,1,4,2,35,8,29,36,3,22,0,1,0,2,16,12,0,3,7,130,48,1,0.1213110695736654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188105582491095,0.0,0.0,0.08249568724392294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685701788300012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448504646494644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217567006263362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012481734146029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287225599706847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301132628109447,0.28117389428248424,0.0,0.06338002692248837,0.0,0.13788775290681884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375420153482052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310367722236136,0.1266172390295594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200008173837412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853292186976346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189759531812185,0.0,0.0,0.12299038402242765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893446858306834,0.08917759436720701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694031731287512,0.0,0.0,0.2523054634627043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160783101641902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771497751635817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647143159478297,0.0,0.12277327889745575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278647558046636,0.09339118808043516,0.11997974972437213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608865046598391,0.0,0.1950104850833364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546247011300934,0.1191875099261839,0.0,0.07073746022618363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850328778564087,0.0,0.0,0.10477381440505187,0.0,0.20018867424250325,0.21465723568794526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907322042049618,0.0,0.21892874312079091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155668016887048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263461084806025,0.0,0.07812035146579183
mentalhealth,dazedtragedy,2019/03/30,Off medication I’m off my meds been two days and I’m raging mad and very high strung. Any one have any advice on how to cope? ,-1.4450000000000005,0.5519202142857154,1.047142857142859,100.0228571428572,96.85714285714286,4.228571428571429,10.571428571428571,5.985473137389443,-1.469957142857143,98,1,25,1,4,33,23,28,0.21600000000000005,0.784,0.0,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,12,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316832909275317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4616428226811986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189017771676068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586223476057536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770259180403103,0.3419361217534303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23000393361545915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315700135245289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800621091041459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HidingInsideToday,2019/03/30,"I'm having anxiety about something a month away! I know this is ridiculous, but I've got plans with someone to just meet at a coffee shop and talk, at the end of April. I already am having bad anxiety about it with really dumb thoughts like ""Where will we sit?"" ""How can I make sure I don't say something really dumb"" ""What if they judge my drink choice"" ""What if the convo just becomes awkward silence"" I'm driving myself crazy, help! I am feeling like cancelling already but I really need to push myself socially. ",6.08818181818182,6.459963424242424,6.2207575757575775,79.85113636363639,66.27272727272728,9.024242424242424,32.66161616161617,8.841846274778883,2.675416161616162,405,16,75,6,6,129,70,99,0.237,0.629,0.134,-0.8984,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,1,1,7,8,3,1,4,0,8,1,0,2,1,17,16,6,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,4,1,0,3,2,1,2,1,5,0,0,2,2,11,3,10,13,0,10,0,0,0,0,7,4,2,2,5,46,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4238202440251129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938051841445113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804187121793955,0.0,0.16033721191792322,0.0,0.21208229004975854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18811650814043746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17008177661557491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709624868610416,0.1371864269604029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358410858242247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287138081012775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553478644397783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876325305526033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281816624499235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327668888410606,0.0,0.0,0.14238797432498884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690584268880486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271013783031465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19575062553077308,0.1627065815599873,0.29566848896375963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098620900441004,0.0,0.0,0.15434661621131826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245054405502195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dojjij,2019/03/30,"I need a mental health break day.. every day... I treat myself well in terms of my mental health and I try to give myself breaks. But this year, I think i’ve already given myself like 5 days off total from school for a mental health day. I keep wanting days off, but that’s not really reasonable?? How does my mental health not go down the drain but at the same time go to school? Does anyone else feel this way?",2.6008605851979354,4.302346710843377,3.251153184165233,92.87228915662651,75.86746987951805,5.7067125645438885,15.471600688468161,6.18269132825596,-0.6364616179001721,319,3,68,2,7,100,55,83,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.6261,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,2,1,15,9,5,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,10,3,10,8,3,18,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,9,37,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369003472099772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674376877243402,0.12711139377085212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000335703412258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171268088781953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036339795223527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452365006140006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627271129461495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900709400974507,0.14100927771683086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5274685573220381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026785392599492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060814447319319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5000824353347574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198693737933507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947430149773288,0.12755159572372704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25110527969741303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949092707865058,0.0,0.0,0.07233882606497923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422678291720412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317222673987465,0.09847093320685313,0.0,0.0,0.11154243727603932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798888523668988
mentalhealth,HPFanxP,2019/03/30,"I need to vent about my disorder I hate having anxiety, but it was a relief to be diagnosed with GAD (Generalised anxiety disorder). 

I was sixteen when I was diagnosed. I went to the doctors after what felt like a nervous breakdown. I was tearful, shaky, having panic attacks, and I couldn’t form a sentence due to my shaky voice. 

I was referred to a local mental health service. During the telephone assessment, after reading out my answers to the questionaire I filled in, I was told that I couldn’t join group therapy because my anxiety score was too high. 

I was placed on a waiting list, that to be honest was too long. Anyway, fast forward and I stopped my medication because I thought I was better. I managed to handle my anxiety disorder until now. 

It started off with being stressed out this time. Stressed and wound up. Eventually, it turned to me wanting to hurt myself. Then, anxiety. 

I was having 2-3 panic attacks a day. I did think that they would kill me, I could feel my heart beating so hard during these attacks. I would get hot flushes, my body tingly, my vision blurry. 

On Tuesday, I went back to the doctor and was prescribed Propranolol once again. 

I hate this anxiety. It feels like I’m in a dark room with no windows or door, and I’m just trapped with no way out. I feel like I’m a lost cause and that I’m never going to recover from this. I do want this to go away, but it never gives me a break. 

I feel that this disorder is preventing me from moving into work (currently unemployed and seeking work). 

It’s easy for people to say: “Calm down”, “Chill out”, “Go for a walk”. None of those things help me. I’ve tried everything, even taking deep breaths. But when the feeling of anxiety kicks in, I know that I’m in for a heavy, intense ride. 

My father was a diagnosed Schizophrenic. My grandmother has anxiety. My brothers and sister has anxiety. I don’t know if this plays a factor. 

I don’t know what I did to deserve this. What did I do so wrong that I deserved to be punished with this? I feel at fault for almost everything. 

",3.1018485866218874,5.2577830856423216,4.3748131821998335,83.33903477469913,75.82619647355163,7.5345368038063265,28.6600195913798,8.430304187100639,2.2956706409179963,1603,70,300,31,36,527,199,397,0.26,0.636,0.104,-0.9968,3,1,0,0,0,3,60.0,0,0,1,5,13,26,7,7,18,0,35,12,3,1,2,55,70,19,1,9,6,3,9,3,0,2,9,2,3,0,27,18,0,3,14,2,0,10,9,18,0,0,22,11,51,8,49,39,2,53,0,2,0,0,10,22,0,5,24,212,78,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484628725726478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5146172544233467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550995704489123,0.07022535666407131,0.057474265657229476,0.0,0.091127675879502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610584895669472,0.0,0.08302480795190342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678367024473083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596777738528956,0.0,0.0,0.04820432002164843,0.0,0.0,0.2275937034795967,0.0,0.0,0.3426568297321278,0.1530092812561134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936834556567006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435191296490626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22675980597661335,0.10679563828373337,0.0717668896035152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03905116011355704,0.07170218288928631,0.1274378612141026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695680875131671,0.14759036022669805,0.0,0.07945040436487713,0.0,0.08857314541690353,0.050099975619576166,0.07897216109701256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001603275948077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269423126019804,0.0,0.1232336368379421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095498456396556,0.0,0.0,0.0661469434384002,0.0,0.0,0.08159296065860577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529769037618772,0.07532534622506677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944207065344852,0.0,0.05542244571452451,0.11529585239288563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960095011866689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17539422742836588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181874863752134,0.0,0.07809258154136693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476519374480141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059440197559386364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290487213715953,0.0,0.0,0.062490139015321425,0.17124021362514966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619891282898032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547738350450547,0.0,0.04965723461538009,0.04789355658886688,0.0,0.059339154462262525,0.0435843911631241,0.0,0.0,0.07142201880252899,0.0,0.05074692599763048,0.08130106020697926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817303586438625,0.059329075470898524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857866592862486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108830451924858,0.0,0.0,0.10619335960494762,0.08172188741985432,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,claaarreee,2019/03/30,"Blackout when upset/angry??? Hi, so I have recently been experiencing this thing where whenever I get really upset or angry etc I freak out and react badly, but I don’t really remember doing so when I have calmed down. For example, if I have an argument with my partner and get really upset, to me it feels as though the fight went for far less time than it really did, and I don’t really remember what I said or did. It is like my mind leaves the situation. I recently started seeing a psychologist to deal with other issues such as bad anxiety but I am just wondering if anyone knows what this might be caused by. Thanks in advance",5.442134146341464,6.224457065040648,7.386737804878049,69.48791158536586,67.78048780487805,11.678455284552848,28.383130081300806,11.45678717892309,3.664561788617888,501,16,90,17,8,177,82,123,0.195,0.7240000000000001,0.081,-0.9211,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,9,1,2,4,0,13,0,0,2,0,22,23,16,0,2,7,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,9,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,5,4,13,3,13,16,2,13,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,6,7,71,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199191861467736,0.0,0.0,0.1096086055238283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617722082505237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610333048371135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616102714121504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17482623565929853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926138644725386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637988220871977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16361427736800274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614991418470383,0.0,0.0,0.1659837352723192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658387793273443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662951124178028,0.15828055702474464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.502114877265689,0.0,0.3095585694406769,0.0,0.3551517571310021,0.0,0.14911243840729896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491556506999472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17620218553268396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109538834895218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432139866433086,0.0,0.0,0.1041428284646932,0.0,0.15401361186932594,0.0,0.0914066562062133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453159277439994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16999700296527698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pnwftw73,2019/03/30,"I didn't know this existed holy shit A mental health clothing line. 

  
THE FUTURE IS STIMGA FREE. YES!! 

[https://www.iandioutfitters.com/product/the-future-is-stigma-free/](https://www.iandioutfitters.com/product/the-future-is-stigma-free/)",30.731500000000004,39.42278915000001,14.290000000000004,-0.2649999999999864,57.5,5.6000000000000005,19.0,6.742157984588678,1.3853000000000004,213,3,14,2,5,48,20,20,0.14,0.546,0.314,0.6652,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,2,2,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.568077979129781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937107576117819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5385834194659378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5485884621164713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Magnificent_Cat,2019/03/30,What is OCPD like? I have OCD and I was wondering what OCPD is like.,-2.6020000000000003,-1.3347765333333328,-0.2666666666666657,105.88000000000004,114.33333333333334,4.666666666666667,11.666666666666668,6.42735559955562,-0.9363333333333332,52,1,14,1,3,17,10,15,0.0,0.688,0.312,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,9,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6693761855958409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7429236314434765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dekinaiko_,2019/03/30,"Is it okay to sometimes just be sad? With that I mean, purposefully staying in a depressed state.

I've been let down by a friend today and I really don't feel like making myself feel better or distract myself from it. I just want to feel bad. Sometimes I think I deserve it.


I literally give this friend everything I can and now I'm the one crying on their own. I tried to ask if other friends want to spend time with me, but they all declined as well. I finally felt like going outside again and now this.


Sorry for the vent. I know I need to get help.",1.2847050147492602,3.5359063716814174,2.9108185840708,90.96557890855459,82.6283185840708,5.5365781710914455,20.921091445427727,6.816661863887847,0.4144224188790555,432,13,91,5,12,142,80,113,0.14300000000000002,0.698,0.158,0.1877,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,6,12,0,1,4,1,6,0,0,1,1,22,22,7,0,4,5,0,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,0,1,1,1,4,1,1,2,4,16,8,14,18,2,12,0,2,0,0,8,3,0,2,8,62,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189229511324665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459125407318912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315642094860335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902211361189591,0.0,0.0,0.14915265314021733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563568475448364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626826585430353,0.12371399800926228,0.16627212459654486,0.1897012875456162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40137640499656746,0.0,0.0904751396627748,0.16612220974151995,0.09841754814405196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160734349018521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951707151306352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17707994045637385,0.0,0.1692060288001937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559354875341228,0.0,0.0,0.18863490221491894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840472605405062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734572137139722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093831584011347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34254275802983986,0.19385169852151515,0.0,0.1845781415540409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096152351746467,0.0,0.0,0.10097789325935286,0.0,0.1641466570781471,0.0,0.0,0.11757231292850075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042824774250876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570228240959488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,newgirlwhodis,2019/03/30,"Zoloft for severe panic attacks? I saw a new psychiatrist today after waiting a while to see him. After being assessed and everything, he decided that Zoloft was the best medicine for me to go on. I’m not going to lie, I was disappointed.

I’ve been on and off medication since I was 14. Diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder at 14 and I’ve been on allllll of the medication. I have already been on the standard SSRI’s including Zoloft and Prozac, Paxil, etc. Zoloft was one of the medications I was on when I first attempted suicide at 18. I told him this.

I’ve come a long, long way since 18. I’ve mellowed out a lot and don’t have the extreme highs and lows as I once did. I’ve been unmedicated for a long time. I’ve been on trokendi (extended release topamax) since August, but it’s more of a migraine medication. The psych hospital gave it to me because I’ve tried so many meds, they didn’t know what else to give me and it’s an off label bipolar med, even though there’s no research that says it works for bipolar. I have severe panic disorder and anxiety. That is why I’m seeing the psychiatrist. Anxiety and my panic attacks are taking over my life. With my health issues (I have POTS, fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s, migraines, etc), I catastrophize things and truly think I’m dying about 10-12 times a week. It’s incredibly exhausting. The amount of times I’ve called 911, gone to the ER, or have had my husband come home is insane. My health issues are real, but the symptoms go as fast as they come and I freak out at new symptoms and think I’m dying. It’s terrible.

Does anyone have any experiences with Zoloft? He says let’s just try it out again because things I’m older now and have mentally come a long way, but I’m scared. My circumstances and situation are obviously way different too. I was sure he would also give me emergency medication as needed like Ativan or something but he didn’t. I was hoping he would because I’m sick of going to the ER. I don’t want to ask for it because I don’t want to seem drug seeking, and I’ve never asked for medicine before in my life, but I really feel it would be beneficial in my case just for a short amount of time. I went off my klonopins two months ago because they weren’t as fast acting for me for emergencies and I don’t like taking meds just to take them for fun.
",3.646653520473265,5.293689128755371,5.173394037814641,80.40427618605733,72.94849785407726,8.38547732281638,27.40146154738429,8.994212911058018,2.209421366430808,1858,69,365,39,37,626,212,466,0.14300000000000002,0.792,0.065,-0.9883,3,0,2,0,0,1,53.0,0,0,4,4,13,17,2,4,21,0,39,26,0,0,3,58,78,34,3,7,11,1,1,2,0,3,26,2,1,1,16,27,0,1,6,0,0,11,10,11,2,3,22,6,39,6,55,50,7,61,0,2,3,0,22,21,0,5,28,218,55,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969002086335845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430784634856644,0.05384922413455248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579134115797105,0.0,0.1030249535627608,0.0,0.0,0.04708346452731158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590165861795574,0.1532106891489437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523947763030634,0.0,0.057298667321717615,0.0,0.07066582971984102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875841363924147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320188041129199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834544663228387,0.13976995924558844,0.07035263650768678,0.15434764041095844,0.0,0.058926897853403076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808932376115416,0.0,0.05625126585709809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019668986334347,0.04447532917998937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060517984617562776,0.06586832294253787,0.0,0.0,0.034047515332758405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572766577884806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919121150952134,0.1530762478817287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315176444026398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114503880168893,0.06754431262649492,0.0668806478348322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056427390536178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037006550801019326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885645235874502,0.0951239632378608,0.06579472994437419,0.0,0.0,0.2383638382015168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057247349475573486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826895831861478,0.0,0.0,0.22438805401253187,0.33917376890006923,0.06785966859067953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05374760081418995,0.0,0.0,0.04992939278944851,0.05193430050678927,0.1300686250372774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171150701937792,0.04562916642217195,0.0,0.0,0.23701572065352894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879590683414537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664403382684537,0.043137685949731365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709787102185743,0.0674158956964898,0.0,0.10731744188833024,0.061300904544311134,0.0,0.15214286153216275,0.0,0.1671051198865904,0.07568939785808468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183916756635632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365554299296098,0.0,0.0634641483011007,0.13997746070201653,0.1518867070986787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947117147157398,0.0862934202264022,0.06615807578717994,0.0,0.1570585460686223,0.0,0.06382742417813969,0.06434320940969035,0.0,0.09143455032799996,0.0,0.06577828078804497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943399257022199,0.16034648100589013,0.05401352879850015,0.0,0.0,0.062421899234002765,0.06076099915313112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490220010282349,0.0,0.0,0.14350241752206855,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mrmuulatto,2019/03/30,"Really disappointed with mental health care in (SoCal) its so difficult to find a good therapists/psychiatrist/psychologist. To me, there are far too many average ""professionals"" with MD and PHD after their name. There's this notion that these people just aren't understanding me, and they just aren't bright enough to really dig under the surface and help me discover things that aren't obvious. Instead it's something simple like ""ok you're depressed"". Well no shit Mr/Mrs professional, I didn't need you to tell me that. And the supposedly good professionals ""are not accepting new patients"" so you are just stuck having to deal with average people. Who else feels this way, like there's a higher level that these people are failing to help you get to? who else is feeling failed by the system? I'm no sick, I would just like some further insight and discovery, I guess. ",6.678527042577678,8.263723354430383,6.740932105868815,72.31666858458001,65.45569620253164,10.302416570771001,30.186421173762945,10.436869588844218,3.3410936708860763,702,25,118,18,11,224,100,158,0.177,0.6679999999999999,0.155,-0.6989,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,2,2,12,16,1,0,5,1,11,3,1,0,1,25,20,7,0,2,5,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,13,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,2,3,12,10,14,17,2,10,0,4,1,0,12,6,1,2,5,77,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665939354009236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17863283217039191,0.14923642050857416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894881965199069,0.0,0.0,0.17903329633719034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752201245515683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836481685052847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052595246557583,0.0,0.0,0.2906597979857557,0.0,0.0,0.1908754463549792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841769491096054,0.0,0.0,0.2322772485260823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539515878695701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566767005879455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746144978022351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847684093608366,0.0,0.16734437488713924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603689285295292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22200124241389088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785823950457938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333910170661884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514448290958718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511228980885675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037924203734407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753294525149282,0.0,0.0,0.15578972819195278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230853961291145,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dat_carovieh,2019/03/30,"Should I tell my futur employer about my mental health problems? I will finish my Job training this July. For a bit of backgroznd: in Germany when you don't go to university after school you should do a ""Ausbildung"" where you work around 2/3 of the time in the job you are learning and go to school to learn stuff related to this job the rest of time and have a big exam at the end. They don't have to pay you minimum wage put its hard to get fired. It's usually three years and my exams are coming up. I haven't really talked about the possibility of staying there but some stuff is going downhill so I don't really want to that's why I'm going to start to put out applications. I'm 28 now because I went to uni before but dropped out. 
I've had depressions for a lot of years. I think since I'm 15 or 16 and I'm in therapy for two years, started taking meds in November. It's hard not to talk about it, telling them that I struggle and that I see a therapist. I wonder if that's something I should explain, so they understand why I have to leave at a certain time on Wednesday and why some stuff might be hard for me. And if I should tell them, when would be a good time? The interview is propably to early.
Wgat experience do you guys have with that?",4.118380649557121,4.641471389961391,5.204274358392006,84.88623438564615,70.62162162162163,8.719600272541449,27.59050647285941,8.841846274778883,1.8430361571655696,986,32,214,17,17,326,136,259,0.081,0.887,0.032,-0.8420000000000001,5,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,6,4,1,11,5,0,1,13,0,24,1,0,0,1,36,44,16,0,9,6,0,4,0,0,7,1,0,0,1,14,12,0,0,6,0,2,8,5,3,0,2,2,5,27,2,38,33,5,42,0,1,1,0,18,13,0,8,19,142,41,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813071021104048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603492900589617,0.0,0.08424144161044378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808201705431507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527946395969346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526828498804204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768433764853066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684069002837888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051723250178097015,0.0,0.2250552133345482,0.08303624009727646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802525442545316,0.0,0.0,0.2660528209738681,0.0,0.0,0.10523203740338756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947257390933581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048263736648226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416599327034101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996633391165092,0.0,0.0997683991006029,0.10502302267353177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160727164578027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472932985995376,0.0,0.19904405782510992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684346851350192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20038593632547685,0.07888993267380376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189356377576583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762147954184619,0.0,0.0,0.14014497542369098,0.10552049356974776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349596755272726,0.3399928670091801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443544364719885,0.1591443960674394,0.2595902689833719,0.0,0.1132147695155879,0.11494626652272424,0.0,0.06343500173007195,0.0,0.0,0.2309100535231161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670830857424136,0.10306216514408824,0.0,0.0,0.10903416820050517,0.0,0.05839258013992661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177370129760663,0.26799545617410786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736093705507734,0.07207295091280269,0.0,0.0,0.07032653690859861,0.0,0.0,0.19125765698116134
mentalhealth,Rainbow__Veined,2019/03/30,"I just want to share my thoughts in hopes that it makes me feel better. This rant might be really stupid, but I really want to talk about it because it's been weighing in on my mind a lot lately. I don't know if this is the right place, seeing how everyone else here has an actual significant problem.
 Seeing literally all my friends getting taken, engaged, married and having kids is making me feel like shit. I'm really sorry for my language btw. 
Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy for them, I support all of them, but there's always that one thing that is weighing me. There is not a day in which I don't see a notification pop up in the form of a happy couple sharing a picture of them camping, or them showing a picture of the woman's pregnant belly or a picture of their baby and it's making me feel so out there in the cold. I just want to be loved. While yeah, I've been seeing someone but we're long distance and we BARELY talk and idk. I miss them. I want to be just as happy as these other people, with them. 
Ffs I'm only 22 and I know I shouldn't stress about such a thing, but seeing how everyone I know is being loved by someone just..",3.375227664287472,4.285563539748953,5.000890967265568,84.24897612601526,72.59832635983264,7.297169579128723,24.937484617277875,7.5105763829236425,1.1513675116908688,902,26,186,10,17,306,126,239,0.08800000000000001,0.6609999999999999,0.251,0.9923,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,7,1,14,19,2,1,13,1,18,5,1,5,2,44,48,18,0,8,12,0,3,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,14,8,2,0,7,1,0,0,5,6,0,1,4,9,28,13,25,38,4,14,0,1,5,2,17,10,1,6,5,129,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.10532790032530716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980963720158258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579549337510722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545874851098672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942678879371525,0.0,0.06960842549808371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016490961618924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062709015501454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372384314511934,0.0771079877037475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338945039653088,0.0,0.1127819983004634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446928769745799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072026998009129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795291842804534,0.0,0.1217541214862026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273104336644451,0.0,0.0,0.0955180901253253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176152772000508,0.1948290871643963,0.0,0.21614011541143466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450079339456908,0.10898245351152852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07313879258768796,0.08208858183878172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482776444764551,0.0,0.11276793535795172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327814940556017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765808374581341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921749464875255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4300466532026022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079258002370518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829040579046136,0.0,0.0,0.12082314553304192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363789850213668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224820915483461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350633366043616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341295197663678,0.0,0.0,0.08568744690622508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546488030595441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800875750291695,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,josiejenk,2019/03/30,New hallucination I was riding in the car with A friend and i was looking at the radio and when i looked up. Out of nowhere a huge vehicle slammed into us from the side and i screamed and started hyperventilating. And just like that it was gone. No one was next to us or around us. I’m terrified ,0.193833333333334,2.594525383333337,2.3500000000000014,90.08833333333334,95.16666666666666,5.333333333333334,21.66666666666667,6.937597516519254,0.6956666666666664,233,9,51,4,9,78,44,60,0.166,0.7440000000000001,0.09,-0.5806,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,11,9,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,5,3,7,2,10,4,0,15,0,0,2,0,4,8,0,1,5,38,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966389685282582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065909828195186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791571679141672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709840049118138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21333697873429747,0.2349190652990567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968080894036914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634710843553598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7971105681027336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anon_RK,2019/03/30,"How do I cope with ptsd Note I just want small things I can do when I hear trigger words

So I really need some help because whenever I even see a church/preist I run or start to have panic attack",2.84,3.645272523809524,3.9176190476190484,91.91071428571428,73.76190476190476,7.504761904761906,21.142857142857142,7.793537801064563,0.5108000000000006,154,3,36,2,3,50,35,42,0.161,0.731,0.107,-0.483,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,1,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,9,9,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,2,9,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,2,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.370072982599177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19829839825315654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485599749137804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666340382119773,0.0,0.2180401249565686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24120404929442146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816666454643799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802554877100189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20839397290778072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25922007155727256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302473162699542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21611327164607336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19186895322718145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Aeriusss,2019/03/30,"Just venting a bit:( Hello r/mental health, first time poster here. I wanted to come on here, as I feel it is the safest place to vent and try and get some thoughts out to others that won’t judge me. For the longest time now (close to 6 months I’d say) I’ve always felt sooo down. I am in high school, if that means anything, and everyday I wake up just wanting to stay in bed and close myself off. I struggle with social anxiety, and have had many things happen this year destroy my confidence. I know this post is super generic, but maybe there’s someone out there that’s going or has gone through the same type of problem. Thank you for you’re time:)",2.767727272727271,4.451195469696972,3.124848484848485,94.03227272727274,75.36363636363637,5.70909090909091,22.60606060606061,6.11248444174946,0.22177878787878846,510,14,110,3,11,157,100,132,0.069,0.855,0.076,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,2,8,5,1,1,4,0,7,2,1,0,0,26,20,9,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,8,11,0,0,5,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,4,3,10,2,19,15,3,25,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,3,8,67,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15089863214060964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873308519724598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923649251062893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979884175156606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621790355261905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169655859221787,0.0,0.1741254831957829,0.0,0.0,0.15425714198341536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474845798243907,0.0,0.10306600199588346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603681673383679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927677251524212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191607380311477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996658146903502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18386153806852185,0.1821915421632117,0.19754449866724424,0.0,0.0,0.182759241494102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475270747606178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947328733375335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368421130291894,0.0,0.0,0.1735284982872409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442176633049176,0.0,0.1835369819455601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18486459514490686,0.15365818753294494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329612924272965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18958753170491965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16696371564912432,0.0,0.0,0.1204816039727866,0.0,0.0,0.14397250598783878,0.31724183169983466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231254838945289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21393113954841564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167841542175752
mentalhealth,soisthissomething,2019/03/30,"Finally went to the doctor after 7 years, need advice for adjusting to meds I’ve been suffering with worsening anxiety and depression for a long time. As it’s gotten worse and I found myself unable to get anything accomplished due to feeling completely overwhelmed and not knowing where to begin, and then upset with myself for not being able to do anything, I decided I had to get help. I’ve only been on medication for a few days but I’m getting side effects that seem pretty common. I feel tired, I keep getting headaches, I just don’t feel all there. Does anyone have suggestions for how to motivate myself through this? I’ve heard from friends who have taken similar or the same meds that it can take a few weeks to adjust and for the medication to actually start helping. I just want to feel better. ",6.249473684210527,7.319397631578951,6.795894736842108,73.41226315789477,66.10526315789474,10.027368421052632,32.96315789473684,10.125756701596842,3.5134136842105264,648,27,110,15,10,212,99,152,0.097,0.7390000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.8956,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,5,6,0,2,6,0,9,4,0,3,1,31,31,10,0,2,6,0,4,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,6,7,0,1,12,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,8,5,10,2,24,22,4,16,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,2,12,74,16,3,0.14958707460865708,0.0,0.14597540662312009,0.0,0.0,0.14617475805183786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443370263779447,0.0,0.0,0.10459476063909684,0.0,0.2461948335162918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322976114266788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15683920171398472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647128809266232,0.0,0.12883912816834875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531087094090383,0.13090465703954288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025428780433194,0.0,0.0,0.16386532847534171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401450632767126,0.11557060277586614,0.0,0.3126122900168079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20053012589995708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13295986502308288,0.0,0.0,0.0822091441649527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323798537979403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323150357963347,0.3013864806196217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109169204113792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137677108916249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218383240106514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361784546261055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587850132845517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247086376457877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872254261516963,0.17192833711502833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823033227164864,0.0,0.1199897282978184,0.0,0.0,0.13866871681099593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244200860753118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632917164308563
mentalhealth,SmoothCowboy,2019/03/30,"Can a woman have a psychotic break in her early 30s? I am worried for a friend of mine. She had an extremely traumatic pregnancy with her daughter and her daughter almost died while giving birth, and ever since then she has been hearing voices that she describes as being either God or the devil/satan.

I am religious and am not here to debate religion/philosophy but not extreme about it and I keep it very private; but this is a little too much and I have never experienced anything she has told me about, and if I were I would seek professional or medical help. She does have a history of schizophrenia in her close family and other mental illnesses like depression, so could she have had a psychotic break in her early 30s? I have suggested to her to see a therapist but that is up to her.",7.752069536423839,7.2803048940397375,8.416283112582786,68.3404511589404,62.97350993377484,12.053311258278143,35.431291390728475,11.45678717892309,4.246264238410596,633,25,109,17,8,213,95,151,0.104,0.8170000000000001,0.079,-0.7133,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,9,0,20,2,0,0,2,24,25,17,1,3,9,2,0,1,1,1,2,2,0,1,6,9,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,4,22,2,15,17,2,15,0,1,1,0,22,6,0,4,8,96,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21934083852172506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802544770424328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488874114772435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18866220171149006,0.0,0.2273329996174881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916868047965788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813776024269725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20649510721916786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16923278419215027,0.0,0.0,0.2101268813069632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468784101178424,0.0,0.14682051795761186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19469629476024145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701379179052202,0.21953954620703253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22066369824188128,0.22074474510880615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102247992296065,0.0,0.16894016970412878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454963933188394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119538876738325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25432686635756924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20930584625011656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073416875478765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22244972678276806,0.0,0.15560251145875947,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kingarthersixties,2019/03/30,"intrusive thoughts Hi, I want to point out I've never been to a therapist, mainly because of social anxiety, and I know this could be helped by just going but I'm too scared. I currently am scared I have schizotypal personality disorder. I fit a lot of the symptoms, and now I'm afraid I will develop schizophrenia. Sometimes my brain will imagine a monster screaming or like a voice saying some shit for example which heightens that schizophrenia fear because I'm like (Ahhh what if I start seeing/hearing this irl). I want to point out I don't actually hear or see this stuff it's just my brains like ""Lol sup bitch"". Idk does anyone have any advice? I am going to start meditating soon to see if that helps. ",2.4219117647058823,5.188895897058824,3.6029411764705914,84.37073529411767,82.67647058823529,6.6352941176470575,25.411764705882355,7.8658589789855275,1.8041411764705884,566,23,104,11,16,183,91,136,0.18,0.667,0.153,-0.7269,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,5,10,2,4,5,1,10,4,3,0,1,20,24,7,0,5,7,0,0,3,0,2,1,4,0,1,9,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,2,6,12,3,11,18,3,13,0,0,2,0,7,5,2,6,9,63,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.1405740593629921,0.0,0.0,0.14076603443758134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796036045964387,0.0,0.11019945400299017,0.0,0.0,0.10072457019489194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562563315063792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32161954502123696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501387165622785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509617439017735,0.0,0.1260609540693294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620986492925188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373624402671205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247143479865637,0.0,0.1931101578987767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916726097472973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21112972339445896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246793494516785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110185177397768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257807280017156,0.0,0.0,0.27235157221883033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455600321432538,0.2884425428971434,0.0,0.22958172932128046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786739955063247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684296410253092,0.0,0.0,0.14247119968957114,0.0,0.20392162043347312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490517805276958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14972527731051444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725557845528985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143612681051875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699313090237605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BigBenW3,2019/03/30,Gabapentin with SSRI Has anyone been prescribed Gabapentin with an SSRI long term for depression/anxiety? How well did it work for you?,5.134202898550721,8.7166577826087,3.304347826086957,85.02724637681159,79.86956521739131,6.544927536231885,29.40579710144928,7.793537801064563,2.492084057971016,111,5,17,2,3,31,19,23,0.0,0.895,0.105,0.3527,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,12,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4279326421943778,0.0,0.0,0.3911392469895869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4950434994519536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.502959757697291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40724336581017934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iSh-tRainbowsss,2019/03/30,"I think I may be mentally ill/impaired. I can finally admit it to myself. How do I explain it to other people? My mom is sick. As long as I can remember she hasn’t been right, she was just different, even when I was little. Always said things to me like she loves me so much and that if it wasn’t for me, she’d kill herself. She tells me what a horrible monster my father is (he’s not). Then she’ll hate me the next day. She’s unbalanced. I’ve always taken care of her ever since I was a kid. Eventually she got Lupus too. Maybe. She could just have munchausen. She really enjoys sitting in bed all day popping pills and having me wait on her. I took care of my sister a lot too even tho she was older. (She’s a little mentally unbalanced) My dad wasn’t around much. He kinda yelled a lot when I was a kid, was def emotionally abusive, but he’s gotten so much better since. He worked really hard to change when he realized how broken I was. I know he loves me.

I was always a high achiever in school and in life. I think it was a fake it till you make it kind of thing cause I worked myself into the ground in an industry that had a highly toxic work atmosphere that I became very normalized to. I’ve always thought that you had to keep everything inside and be strong and successful and take care of others. Eventually I had a mental break.

It’s been about a year and a half since then and I got myself into therapy finally. LOTS of therapy. I’ve been diagnosed by different drs with various mental/mood disorders. Borderline, autism spectrum, OCD, imposter syndrome, depression, anxiety, etc. I don’t really care what I have. I’m just focusing on getting better and not hurting myself thru a combo of meds and therapy.

While I know I have my issues and that environment played a big part in the way I turned out, I can’t discount genetics. I’m terrified of turning into my mother. I have severe social anxiety, won’t leave the house except for work anymore. I don’t know how to talk to people or be myself. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt connected to another person. Don’t do social media at all and this is my first time on Reddit this past week and it’s been amazing. For the first time in my life I feel completely free. That’s pathetic, I know. I’m just so afraid all the time. How do I not be afraid in the real world? How do I learn to talk like this and be me in person and explain to people that there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just different? Especially with people who have known me for a long time. Because they always notice or have known that I’m different and I don’t know how to explain what’s wrong with me.",2.082112149532712,4.1071747158878535,4.088420560747661,84.80851869158879,78.47663551401868,7.494953271028037,22.47570093457944,8.426882951386363,1.4600399999999998,2063,63,415,43,50,703,230,535,0.08800000000000001,0.782,0.13,0.9777,4,0,0,0,0,1,63.0,0,2,1,11,27,26,2,2,23,0,51,8,0,8,5,82,91,40,1,4,14,5,3,2,0,3,6,2,1,4,27,25,0,2,20,1,2,1,13,9,0,3,26,5,73,18,51,55,12,55,0,2,0,2,46,25,0,9,28,290,100,8,0.0,0.07576165928455968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660272990966795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704951017524392,0.097832001329164,0.0,0.06341398968563479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056922571489919985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03897888454003198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131042673495155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607754311190869,0.06568678040218681,0.06764291218261034,0.0,0.06704271834633395,0.0,0.0,0.05105305351349139,0.0,0.0,0.082475520474773,0.0,0.055073765279230136,0.06490050802787982,0.0,0.2672261035919758,0.07328388919214363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192694602179239,0.0,0.0,0.07131302783551037,0.08446711816863113,0.11567968995979445,0.0,0.0,0.05746758767464054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03233135711398316,0.0,0.061395032335766576,0.14009223387576392,0.0,0.10877927855563978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03340742856722048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022816582268582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057280111498457326,0.06313019129452235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511797462486014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378130604872797,0.06845199709487558,0.0,0.0,0.06673957985899534,0.0,0.056835221581686336,0.07074313837829391,0.06658649614435233,0.21084745793829093,0.0,0.0,0.0677061007981917,0.0,0.0,0.09032925884555346,0.062478359705824174,0.12817479418378314,0.0,0.1131745782421031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308542473373588,0.11542159050811213,0.0,0.04268225765889583,0.0,0.06423905000646378,0.0,0.0710259396364901,0.0,0.2577568621262511,0.0,0.0,0.07488893301652717,0.0,0.0,0.1410157548810678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680038010213071,0.0,0.0626502827219824,0.061354757967133786,0.07279920291487173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924372734469565,0.061040555124883725,0.17731930508766286,0.11166462175677533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278080659024655,0.12289001848276355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243462929520128,0.05460672779118025,0.06082416309348111,0.0,0.0,0.06471343961002471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722370654725413,0.0,0.15868221965172738,0.0,0.0,0.1303630874511173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048076962641574114,0.10278946170609796,0.05588874982363953,0.0,0.21937219600410784,0.0,0.08496139492066491,0.08194381759312927,0.0,0.05076337189913845,0.14914204138303006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710427072468926,0.0,0.13910262094165246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275943510486307,0.0,0.05075474953854677,0.05129098765367208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18620422737996087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982263822218316,0.0,0.04117701092855792
mentalhealth,JJWatkinson,2019/03/30,"Dealing With Mental Health Lows (Suicide) So this week I received the news that my brother attempted to commit suicide which as a result sent me into a bit of a downwards spiral. It made me think about a lot of things.. mainly how sad it was that he got to this state. 

I created a video to talk about the emotional lows of this week with the hope that anybody feeling the same way can get some comfort and support at difficult times like these.

I would appreciate some feedback if you have the time as my aim with the video is to help people in these circumstances and help paint as much as a positive light as possible.

 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3DsbCFHsLU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3DsbCFHsLU) ",9.828642266824085,10.720538735537193,7.339858323494687,73.22719008264465,58.33884297520661,9.889492325855961,33.814639905548994,9.606745405546679,3.057898701298701,581,20,94,9,7,166,82,121,0.099,0.685,0.21600000000000005,0.9226,0,0,0,0,0,3,28.0,0,1,0,1,4,8,0,0,12,0,5,1,0,3,1,20,13,10,2,3,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,4,0,0,4,2,8,4,20,8,7,14,0,3,0,0,9,6,0,5,5,68,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21245461168461824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006257668628203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189006751960159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839644658498543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10167133563145543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564072496032172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068524649394979,0.0,0.0,0.2608747817751677,0.0,0.0,0.193283357917094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507254152429012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654433725854174,0.0,0.1841367962689572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19611270280663548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430546114914481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491228863386429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193841325774674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42572526253167975,0.22083165800057264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641344318777706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928469608659635,0.12469288626435253,0.0,0.0,0.2269475861589199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446574000272978,0.31219542743988016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382394360990858,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yumenightfire27,2019/03/30,"Is anyone else afraid to take meds? I've been having panic attacks for a few months now, and I'm finally getting to my Dr appt date on Tuesday so I can get it better handled. Anyway, in the mean time, I have some Xanax leftover from a past dental appointment, and I've found that while I'm having my panic attacks, it's hard to take them. A lot of my panic is based around my heart and pulse (It's always something stupid, I can't even wear my Fitbit anymore because seeing my pulse number is a trigger no matter what it is) and one of the things my brain  convinces me of is that somehow I will react badly to this medication I've taken before and I will get TOO CALM and my heart will suddenly stop. Which of course makes my panic worse. Yesterday while in public I got a panic attack about as bad as the one that hospitalized me when this issue first started. I finally convinced myself that if the Xanax killed me, the heart attack I was clearly having was going to do it anyway. So I took one. Shockingly, not only did I not die, but it worked so quickly that by the time we got back home I was laughing about how dumb the whole situation seemed. Now that it's the next morning, I'm just pissed that my brain had that much self preservation for this panic attack that it has been convincing me that the only thing that will help stop it will actually hurt me. Has anyone experienced this before? Does anyone know how to overcome this irrational fear so I can help myself when I really need it? Thank you all.",6.202129411764705,6.002788460000001,6.632352941176473,78.94323529411766,66.06666666666666,9.058823529411764,28.64705882352941,8.4952907291091,1.9627882352941173,1198,33,230,15,17,390,160,300,0.211,0.6940000000000001,0.095,-0.9889,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,1,1,3,21,28,9,8,14,0,27,11,7,5,2,31,49,20,2,2,5,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,30,8,0,2,4,0,0,2,4,21,0,4,12,3,33,7,22,32,6,29,0,1,1,0,7,4,2,5,23,167,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0742508231271867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331123535526595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545876004899348,0.1596073047899419,0.07796105416740873,0.0,0.06773437036090743,0.0,0.4328049030512577,0.0,0.058506905202416415,0.12706045122431736,0.046382482951549564,0.0,0.12949041241389514,0.0,0.0,0.06729357207103523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987853989443075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896723655091295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658504169447323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356168437340315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050255346127201415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562005104153161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670116977600358,0.0,0.06472033631320383,0.0,0.0834264646446269,0.0,0.0,0.11925837572772233,0.0,0.043242511989156886,0.0,0.12170890278020195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815982105161274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704936146531579,0.10200024274165606,0.0,0.07632237630510137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145368000440943,0.0,0.0,0.07941600847567229,0.0,0.0,0.08417999767028828,0.0,0.04181592477826678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468721908986433,0.0,0.0,0.05078926992290367,0.0,0.0,0.08288203856351663,0.08451651383004373,0.0766505632116132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073264284323875,0.0,0.05593336771822058,0.05641822023171655,0.0,0.0,0.08092035415410469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467740841862002,0.11573656651367785,0.0,0.5356366011739557,0.0,0.0,0.07263451842818479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874386268748873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060632212138976564,0.06926757446397898,0.07937628298252496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552599739338032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857618947462175,0.0,0.0,0.05385541343555049,0.0,0.0,0.1272257974120056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144172762458054,0.0,0.0,0.07005152364404131,0.0,0.0,0.10109885128704547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873494294972982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453646625846256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494943286347645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055392903772602455,0.0,0.07754007938812714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dragonacension,2019/03/30,"I don't know what's wrong with me. My psychologist isn't helping much.  

So I wanna start off by saying that my childhood wasn't exactly normal, if you will. My mom left when I was a baby and i stopped being able to see her when i was 4, I'm 20 and i've seen her one time since then. My dad married someone else and i enjoyed her company but then my sister was born a bit after i wasn't able to see my mom anymore and i was diagnosed with ADHD around then. About a year later I started to torture and kill animals for fun and it made me feel really good and powerful. The joy it brought me was unparalleled. I kept this hidden from my family and friends until a few days ago. I tortured/killed small animals until i was about 15 and got bored of it and ran out of excuses for what i was doing in the woods. I lie a lot. I don't even realize I'm doing it most times. I've gotten really really good at it and use it to manipulate people mostly.

My dad went through a precription drug addiction for a few years around when i was 9 and that just added to my emotional distress. I've never been able to feel remorse for my actions and still can't seem to muster up any. I'm able to feel what i would consider love but only for a few people and social interactions are horrible for me. I hate them. I can experience cognitive empathy where as i can put myself in someone's shoe's and understand why they feel the way they do but i can't feel the emotions they feel. If a person is sad, I'm not gonna also be sad because it isn't my problem.. I've seen people I would say that i loved and was close to die right in front of my eyes (natural causes) and felt absolutely and undeniably nothing. Sometimes there's a voice in my head that tells me that people i pass by on the street deserve to die and that i should be the one that makes it so. I repress that voice because I'm afraid of the consequences of commiting a crime.

What's wrong with me?",3.0013677313677287,4.049698149877152,4.835152334152337,84.56065642915645,73.64373464373463,8.375069615069615,26.097379197379198,8.841846274778883,1.8015530548730552,1525,51,329,30,30,522,201,407,0.146,0.7440000000000001,0.11,-0.9561,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,4,1,15,20,3,3,18,0,32,8,3,5,3,64,66,36,3,8,7,5,7,0,1,5,3,4,0,1,21,26,0,3,11,0,0,7,10,12,0,2,22,16,54,8,46,36,8,48,0,2,5,2,24,17,0,6,23,220,75,0,0.35996922843536866,0.0,0.0,0.09810489811206964,0.10815326498916054,0.0,0.07977275042688653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196681548161604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119785480171652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892481869976949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022446560787407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097169502703088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824829155966196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244688892266477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803759320738811,0.0,0.0,0.09134029739229198,0.18679561365204528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043625055796704,0.0,0.0751770250288073,0.20245846572811407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05943907010772809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880297445223073,0.08483673803198713,0.0,0.2730168866430759,0.0,0.0864067275028001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952783323672168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096255509361078,0.071975068948649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884877210509456,0.09235806987490153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603199464986373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956315434636699,0.0,0.04945741848486785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777690498769387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650824134858122,0.16244314139996288,0.085152896909342,0.0600705637968692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210795804870512,0.0,0.0,0.06615470037256686,0.0,0.0694076150920937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817335379067892,0.08635004577687855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196223263233053,0.06844320476494269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495573386443148,0.0785778114023405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611048417661404,0.0,0.09046712468639513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295412895593898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685293856133904,0.0,0.1431309892793496,0.0,0.0,0.14342443484493667,0.08192561651720927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444256639527608,0.0,0.0,0.0917358240989983,0.15250037955449458,0.0,0.08900469282797932,0.0,0.12739403631900234,0.0,0.07186797270492347,0.07523759833175911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865724298462642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495047594825822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368516544947432,0.0,0.07772445924383392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143170458589712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342377028424088,0.08120405975777494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278559059293846,0.19678492118894866,0.0,0.11590419052881505
mentalhealth,MattyTad,2019/03/30,"Any care workers here? Newbie needing a little advice? So I work for a small Protection Agency that takes extremely varied and unique contracts even on same day notice.  They only hired very experienced people.  In the past 6 months I've been part of a 6 man team protecting our state's new Governor, 3 different frat parties, a fancy hotel, varies stores and clinics ect, nearly always in plain clothes.  We are expected to just show up and figure it out based on experience.  As luck would have it my boss had someone quit with no notice (extremely rare here) and he needed someone to work a lot of hours at Women's Shelter.

Here's where the mental health part comes in: after 5pm on any given day all the case managers, councilors and other trained staff go home.  After that until 7am I am the only person in facility with 25 residents who nearly all have moderately heavy mental conditions as well as chemical dependancy issues and domestic abuse trama.
I wish each and every one of them the best but they sure know how to push my buttons.  

True events on duty:

-- Woman throws an entire pot of hot coffee on another resident.

--Residents pass out drunk on the floor of the common areas

--Resident screams at the top of her lungs for hours in a voice that is not her own and honestly would fit in an exorcism movie.

--Resident walks around all day saying the most vile things to no one at all but if you tell her no the monologue switches to subjective pronouns refering to someone being sent to hell ect.

--Residents ask for me (and others from our team) to unlock certain areas after hours to look for some supply and then move to the back corner of the room and forget  to have there pants all the way up.  This is the most  disturbing part as I would never touch any of them except to do first aid but it could lead to false accusations.

I'm not expected to do any counciling but the residents forget that and tell be disturbing stories from their abuse that are a bit much to handle with everything else I have on my plate.

Any advice on how to better manage this situation alone will be greatly appreciated!
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mentalhealth,A-kale,2019/03/30,"How much stress and anxiety is it okay to get from your job? For the past year I've been working at my management-level job. Being organized and a good planner, managing employees and orders and whatnot is something I excel in. When I got the job with no prior experïence or any kind of education, I was ecstatic. I felt like the world finally sees my potential and I've found my place in it. I made good results from the start, got along with my employees and coworkers wonderfully and came up with little practices to make all of our days easier. Everyone loved me and I got good feedback from everyone and got such a confidence boost from my job. Before this job I used to do multiple short term jobs a year and I've dropped out from three different schools so finding something that was long term and that I enjoyed and good at was great.

Then after a few months it started to go terribly. One employee quit and the company refused to hire anyone to replace them. I got a bunch of new clients so a lot more work for my team and they still refused to hire anyone new. Now that that's been going on for months, we're all exhausted and cranky. Every day at least one person is on a sick leave so there's even less of us working now. We get every order ready late and understandably the clients are getting cranky too. I'm the first one in the line of contact for my employees, my bosses and my clients so all of their complaints go through me and every day I get to hear from someone how I'm doing a bad job. I try to believe that I'm doing the best I can with what I have to work with but thinking like that is getting difficult. I work overtime every day and I work so hard and try to pay attention to everything and everyone but it's not enough. And I on the other hand just have to suck all my complaints up. I can't tell my employees to work any harder since I know the situation is unfair already and they're all doing their best. They're working so hard that their mental health is suffering so they have to take sick days. I can't tell the clients to stop complaining since there's a contract we're not honoring by getting each and every order done late. I try to talk about the situation with my bosses and they tell me that every other manager is in a similar situation and they're doing just fine and it's normal that the clients get cranky sometimes and it's my job to keep them happy. They pretty much just tell me to suck it up and to trust that this situation is temporary. This has been going on for months and I only see it getting worse. 

I feel like this job is breaking me and I don't know if this is normal for a job or am I just complaining and stressing out for nothing. I feel like my anxiety is getting out of hand and me secretly crying in a bathroom is a daily thing at my job now. I'm so anxious and stressed out that I find it hard to concentrate on the smallest things when I constantly worry that I've forgotten something or I'm going to mess up since we're on a such tight schedule that there's no room for error or time to start over. I misunderstand everything, forget to do things and can't remember having conversations people refer to afterwards. To be honest, I don't know if they're trying to gaslight me to get out of responsibility or if I'm actually such a mess right now that I've just forgotten entire conversations. I feel like the latter is impossible since I try to write everything up so that I wouldn't forget but I don't trust myself anymore.

I'm a perfectionist so not having the resources to do my job perfectly is hard on me and I do realize that that is a personality thing and it's something I'm trying to work on. I'm also trying to concentrate on other areas in my life than my job and get the feelings of success from somewhere else. It's just hard when the job is so draining that it's difficult to find the energy to exercise or to see people when all I want to do is sleep when I get home. My relationships are suffering because of this since I have to always put my job first and the little energy I have left to care about things goes straight to my job. I don't even know what's going on with most of my friends anymore.

I guess I just wanted to get feedback on if this is normal. Does everyone get this sad and exhausted because of their jobs and am I just being a baby about it? Do I have unrealistic expectations? Am I not thinking or seeing something that would help me? Should I quit my job? ",4.200516666666665,5.314089926666668,5.417930555555557,81.26556250000002,70.84444444444446,8.780555555555559,28.840277777777786,9.14615696593027,2.343394444444445,3554,133,709,71,64,1184,305,900,0.142,0.732,0.127,-0.8431,24,0,5,0,0,0,48.0,3,1,10,21,44,45,2,3,39,1,63,11,3,8,7,140,132,75,0,13,26,0,13,5,1,3,7,1,2,2,50,57,0,5,22,2,1,8,14,18,0,6,16,18,92,27,114,110,21,97,0,3,4,1,36,42,2,15,47,486,142,40,0.0,0.0,0.03424724866303773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03872774288475606,0.02806512379653676,0.029201502812458462,0.0,0.0,0.04773103713423026,0.0,0.05369451690978133,0.03964688732552882,0.06960878843796035,0.049077894137418615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029302509285743506,0.04278666175942262,0.0,0.029862903646345074,0.03953957503337521,0.0736591953234762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0401388514326833,0.035781264324665385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03792477455047032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03854974938282958,0.11316550741601696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036666367709726526,0.0,0.0,0.030711504386197373,0.0359139410054586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02931701923962139,0.0,0.0,0.03626208361064777,0.0,0.046359279614103535,0.0,0.1774121889732843,0.13413750460265245,0.09462223964257614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097949863795484,0.07521472717031477,0.033696301385451384,0.038444398144643,0.0962274338981582,0.05970286544775447,0.0,0.038479396718183116,0.02711398627318753,0.0,0.25669658181798594,0.0,0.11967035503730107,0.11774267817716562,0.14034171213426214,0.03869189951640707,0.03866063763864334,0.0,0.0,0.037358834122351935,0.15718925676987167,0.0,0.0,0.03730389857307891,0.039554143454150134,0.0,0.02352315792432387,0.0,0.03520272624314786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6268672173970714,0.03119367614714526,0.0,0.03654560567719063,0.07714825579795259,0.0,0.07917643210221327,0.03716009408794674,0.038130365010007,0.0,0.02478834047466599,0.08572719805742432,0.07034797980420401,0.0,0.0310575998784482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029836157825432082,0.03167422959303292,0.03320734115301932,0.023425905373255743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03536708337766669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840364793472962,0.0,0.05159711023070531,0.0,0.0,0.06778913015710895,0.0,0.0,0.10315571446912396,0.03367419703576822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713429891489936,0.026691010320590302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03350174865898878,0.04866032737808222,0.06128646904574925,0.036666367709726526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035703805670426275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03527974715636804,0.0,0.07465481367515242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03767844628104322,0.03975531906435102,0.0299705804740324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035517589645738444,0.11186334958505187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451530005623931,0.15779111807922613,0.035119925949455726,0.0,0.02973552464822518,0.13508761534093128,0.034709438037147336,0.0,0.07452037532103854,0.0,0.02802657777020913,0.029340641199753024,0.12060217210541113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02638675738466554,0.028207694899113237,0.12269684282038168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657640123544932,0.04497438097583602,0.0,0.0,0.020463932440818764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678841810950087,0.0,0.0,0.036534696563170536,0.042214459936660585,0.030310450116474888,0.0,0.0,0.041399386360072184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03805857612792346,0.2299434568929503,0.03564025060069925,0.03576437631685407,0.02493018347423729,0.0,0.0,0.04519951916671268
mentalhealth,Arthurjeek,2019/03/30,"My psychologist said that I don’t meet the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder, but to a condition that comes back from Freud’s era called melancholia which is more severe than MDD My psychologist said that I don’t meet the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder, but to a condition that comes back from Freud’s era which is more severe than MDD and that medication doesn’t seem to help but therapy. I think she named it melancholia, but I’m not sure if that’s the actual term she said, though if not, it’s definitely something that sounds similar to that. My bad memory is one of my ghosts :/
Do you have any idea what condition it might be? What are the symptoms of melancholia?",6.750406976744188,7.479038333333335,7.072393410852714,73.07742732558141,64.89147286821705,12.6515503875969,31.62887596899225,12.161744961471696,4.221022480620155,551,20,103,20,8,179,67,129,0.258,0.7170000000000001,0.025,-0.9842,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,6,0,11,2,0,0,1,17,19,8,1,2,8,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,15,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,3,0,1,3,4,10,1,12,14,5,7,0,2,0,0,11,0,0,4,5,69,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.15361724220472792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704962556664452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420894220050161,0.13143743926537885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074135957810853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27120330478009125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27116775373514873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608292898888376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551395482408374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17770574022065505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858205522971328,0.0,0.1669956018984729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667049832763724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4492216465114231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433074182240416,0.0,0.35567502387557315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118805296662495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836458467336702,0.16361755712970816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002118104926074,0.0,0.0,0.10086708633662103,0.15466236764708702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Retrogear1990,2019/03/30,"Named after my father and found out he Sexually assaulted my sister.... I need to tell my story, would you care to listen.....

So I'm in a depressed mental spiral. I'm a ""JR""  as well as the oldest of 5 kids, and growing up I was constantly told that I was just like my father in so many ways. From my looks, behaviors, mannerisms, and even joining the USMC. My father used to be my hero and idol growing up until I was 7 yrs old. That's when I noticed alot of shit, he would physically discipline me and my brother (2yrs younger) and it would be harsher when he was upset about other things. I think my mom could tell a lil bit and over the following years they went thru a divorce. But during that time he was more aggressive as time went on. 

After he left, he tried to preserve his image of a good father and fought for visitation. At this time I was around 10yrs old and he started dating again as well. His GF was a kind and loving woman who I befriended. They had two kids, first was my sister and then a 2nd brother, but after my brother was born my father suddenly disappeared and went all radio silent as I was about to begin HS and my teenage years. Fast forward to after graduation and just a few months before I left for Boot camp for the U.S. Marine Corps (18yrs old) and I get a msg via Facebook from his GF. She says that they wanted me to visit and be apart of their lives. So I decided sure, and when I found out not only did he remarry his GF, (wasn't invited to wedding) but I had a 2nd Sister as well and nobody mentioned it. Later on I made him promise to never put my siblings thru the pain that myself and my brother went through. He agreed, fast forward 10yrs and not only did he divorce again after cheating and break his promises, but he also convinced himself that he never made any promise and that I didn't know the full story. Yet he posts about his latest GF and praises her kids while ignoring his own. 

And then brings us to present day as I  my oldest lil sister (18yrs old) wanted to spend her spring break by my apartment just to relax and reforge our bonds that we had before i was absent for my teenage years in her life. We were extremely close and wanted that bond back. As we talked and talked, my sis told me that our father had not only groped her under her pants but had her do the same to him right before I came back into her life. I was so disturbed by this because I would kill for my siblings, especially my sisters if someone hurt them. 

But what disturbs me the most is that when she told me, there was a part of me that wasn't surprised. Reason is that before my parents divorced, I had heard whispers that my aunts (father's side)  were sexually assaulted my my father, but my grandmother didn't believed them because she could never see any wrong in my father. She was also the type who would openly say/show that I was her favorite grandchild because I was the 1st born and named Jr. 

My sister confided in me because I too was the victim of a sexual assault (from a woman) and knew i would understand her in some way. But knowing this know has triggered so much confusion as I am haunted but past voices who had always said ""You're just like your father."" 

I don't know if anyone out here has any similar experience but any advice would be helpful as I have been overwhelmed by negative emotions and intrusive voices while I wonder who/what I am. For a name is a powerful thing, but in my case it feels like a shackle that is cancerous to me.  (I live in Chicago IL, USA)


P.S. yes I have intrusive and suicidal thoughts but I have too many things that have been preventing me from going thru with it (Thank God), so please be at ease regarding that situation. ",6.208140743702523,5.900737295081968,6.574292949486876,79.72747101159537,66.07650273224044,9.217966146874586,31.105024656803952,8.628873520835908,2.300432253765161,2908,97,567,38,41,943,317,732,0.106,0.789,0.105,-0.8405,2,0,0,0,3,0,85.0,6,2,6,4,33,39,9,5,28,1,62,6,1,5,5,111,106,72,2,15,21,24,1,3,4,7,4,7,0,5,33,43,0,3,14,2,1,16,12,19,3,2,51,10,110,20,78,41,12,102,1,3,2,1,111,32,1,7,56,408,143,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584024438312963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776308482869616,0.05606324859847386,0.0,0.0,0.18327529359740172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711172225255823,0.0,0.0,0.059980014967261276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361785400914916,0.0,0.16429012371883298,0.0,0.22933222331051176,0.07591105974273317,0.0,0.0,0.07355847904874238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706159579457204,0.06869557124798313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07281084392536746,0.0,0.10759046310498678,0.0,0.0,0.04345273608541697,0.0,0.0580319050824438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579030929234229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04450202160045672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590785463356474,0.0,0.0,0.03406794937140155,0.04813430293522091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05731103308509656,0.0,0.1477512988277043,0.0,0.0,0.035201819120810995,0.0,0.03829202962265284,0.05651281956009716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04516153360332833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212871279043713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454291659175126,0.070163011452548,0.1481150429660073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641110400623236,0.0,0.09518105306428996,0.09875132620147553,0.0,0.1189906479993906,0.0,0.05657989953305576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06081057605986414,0.12750791863778854,0.0,0.13661986156147884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790039541249725,0.0,0.0,0.07891139148569483,0.053779858103489314,0.0,0.049530012828530784,0.0499593585338418,0.15589640856425238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670941712835176,0.2828042538773223,0.0,0.0,0.15373024702440366,0.07169411774720692,0.0,0.07481443470076785,0.0729629687102114,0.06431918506437821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395995994552905,0.0,0.0,0.06452875667442794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773272074459527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927500886399643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753978192654481,0.06409117011455072,0.10716214713756424,0.0,0.0,0.05369092489110805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916175312893748,0.0,0.07573482378904006,0.0,0.0,0.05708850401522007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768994657691076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369974828069166,0.0,0.06350223709689577,0.0,0.0,0.1083105223505276,0.11778132867792307,0.062031896277492275,0.0,0.0,0.13428730305736336,0.043172605146455684,0.0,0.05348999046605184,0.1178646050273679,0.0,0.0,0.19314547735474014,0.0,0.04574471295375439,0.0,0.06581775843915598,0.07014206731226777,0.08104650562263538,0.05819228931213041,0.0,0.0,0.1192224987992112,0.10696180995690684,0.0,0.0,0.18174065060885788,0.2498374500443697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306772629021695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350399319817892,0.07366641838039258,0.0,0.13016617137049108
mentalhealth,hatelife1234,2019/03/30,"Overstepped boundaries? I have a stressful problem going on at school due to a mistake made. However, the person who is above me said that they are worried about my reaction and my future because the way I handled it was crying. She also analyzed me way too much. She also noted that I reminded her of a childs tale, the emperors new clothes because of how upset I was.

Given this situation is stressful, her saying that something else must be going on for the reaction is also a bit surprising. This particular situation just makes me feel icky, as it wasn't intentional nor done with malice. Should I feel somewhat eh that she would say that? ",6.391113445378152,7.6565491512605055,7.068392857142857,70.87973214285716,65.890756302521,9.64747899159664,35.04306722689076,9.827888789773867,3.735797478991597,515,24,83,11,8,170,82,119,0.162,0.821,0.017,-0.9506,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,7,6,0,3,8,0,13,0,0,4,1,15,21,7,0,5,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,2,10,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,7,5,16,1,10,10,3,10,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,1,3,67,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912373248761164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988201822838139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780376066673395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17913218475385326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688416444788268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362297236931779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491303921956565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853605837590666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430719176754001,0.10885501660919793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988019676631699,0.0,0.0,0.1575005698093455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239235366993508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604245395412675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551233614841716,0.2593704009168392,0.0,0.1650424070789371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36661026555045145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554447204778674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3736077998114477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588855138904626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561238548859986,0.0,0.11584506523520074,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CaptainNo91,2019/03/30,"How do I stop overanalyzing every interaction I have with anybody? Apologies if this isnt the right place to post this. I cant stop analyzing everything people say to me, I never used to be like this and I feel like it's getting worse. 

For example, I work 6-6 and was going to meet up with some friends last night for food but I wouldnt have been able to make it into town until about half 7. They ended up going for food about half 6 and text me to let me know so I said for them just to go without me and we would hang out another time. 

Rationally I know that they didnt purposely do it to exclude me or anything and I dont mind them going without me but theres this voice in the back of my head telling me that they did. I know its stupid but I can't stop examining every interaction I have and I always end up convincing myself that my friends don't like me and that its all some big joke to make me look stupid. But at the same time I know thats not the case. 

Sorry for the wall of text just feeling a bit lost and really dont know what to do.",1.999680432645036,3.2547107477876125,3.8217109144542754,90.0256243854474,76.47787610619469,7.146116027531957,22.29006882989184,7.793537801064563,0.7217667649950831,823,22,193,12,18,278,117,226,0.1,0.8,0.1,-0.2885,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,5,2,8,10,2,0,6,0,20,3,1,4,2,47,38,17,0,3,11,0,2,3,2,2,0,3,0,0,15,13,2,3,8,1,0,5,12,3,0,2,6,6,33,7,31,28,5,30,0,1,1,0,15,12,0,4,15,133,48,1,0.11724335464260055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755586323196046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229398799791762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648129108962504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015290271977723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799937750709445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748166769163713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20768562508402447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975651659016258,0.0,0.10537076725762064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856352575188712,0.0837586759830038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835422596365997,0.0,0.18116384992431447,0.0,0.0612548137597494,0.0,0.26652840127023164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032550657194148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32216940766479896,0.09556898229581183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198892736023661,0.0,0.17183754266334308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845488940637497,0.0,0.12798497137385578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652169926700998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183823658655957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042530292391962,0.0,0.0,0.1100249460494223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128177979410904,0.0,0.1224943516255184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228672469098253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510909517172439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012518425797468,0.11152527872317457,0.09323662141547774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124433666756852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29406208287334545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247585966767213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673108587636554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126061473796592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22603682007319964,0.0,0.08535455854142765,0.0,0.11948099476081868,0.08328631526192393,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fried-Penguin,2019/03/30,"I can't hell when I'm lying to myself or not. Like I'm not in control of what I do or think. It's like I don't have an opinion. Even saying this right now, I can't tell if what I'm thinking is the truth or a fabrication.",0.3025471698113193,0.8260931698113225,3.38127358490566,94.42021226415095,79.56603773584905,6.054716981132076,20.797169811320764,5.985473137389443,-0.15375094339622652,170,4,46,1,4,62,36,53,0.11,0.72,0.16899999999999998,0.4504,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,1,11,11,5,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,1,5,3,3,11,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,5,4,30,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4427618569943057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607381718604082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857239040169704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33712665198607245,0.0,0.31393250612459617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34504149715365245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5058981922844862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,slamfist69,2019/03/30,"Is this guy beyond dedicated or Does he have a mental illness? He’s in his mid 30’s, didn’t even play meaningful time at his d3 school, has spent last decade training for the NFL. Instagram is new but his Facebook page documents everything...

https://instagram.com/sean_malafronte_elmont85?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=1dkai57xgcmry",12.53212765957447,17.58175114893617,7.156851063829793,60.49400000000003,58.787234042553216,8.866382978723406,28.54893617021277,9.3871,3.1458289361702128,292,9,36,6,5,76,42,47,0.04,0.838,0.123,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,3,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,4,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,3,18,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797372752867887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30670122450044035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314840661305089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31498247256593714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34702330385611346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856822164969858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531942832411216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384889415633628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35469731793887305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20436358501910948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Honestatheist,2019/03/30,If this helps just one person un this big old world. I'll be happy Today Is just one of those days. And as I was going through my youtube favs. I found this and it just made me a but happier. I'm posting it here because maybe it might make someone here feel a little bit better.  https://youtu.be/r1o-Ew1fhH8,1.552500000000002,4.2636169166666695,1.888333333333336,94.8825,88.16666666666666,4.333333333333334,19.166666666666664,5.985473137389443,-0.1333333333333333,245,7,49,2,8,74,47,60,0.0,0.804,0.196,0.9039,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,0,12,10,5,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,1,4,2,3,5,1,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,3,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855303424226562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21552671784723615,0.26604971764798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571618706104151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321853888660607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671968741304821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849638819372856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594158056000562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334232870358248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24424447767128515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305882760910976,0.1626670172417908,0.0,0.2448224444570777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585198379004067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557148844929645,0.0,0.330265463556122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21278338997166013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333905990909728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20648034829717635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309925370841689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Devin2019,2019/03/30,"I'm trying to quit my internet addiction and I keep relapsing! **(I keep reposting because I'm desperate!)**

I spend countless hours on my laptop on Reddit, YouTube, and other miscellaneous content. My internet addiction is consuming my life. I'm wasting my life.

I'm only 21 years old. This should be a time in my life where I'm enjoying it to the fullest.

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is go on my laptop and go on the internet. Before I go to bed, I'm on my laptop.

Since I've been home from school for 11 months, I've been on my laptop 24/7. It's my world.

I have no friends or a social life.

I've tried to quit or limit my time on my laptop countless times and I've failed every time.

I really want to quit, but it's so hard.

I could really use some advice.",-0.1212137049941937,2.13734737804878,2.637421602787459,90.06321138211382,90.46341463414636,6.294541231126599,20.004645760743326,7.62386473244151,0.9342889663182352,606,20,131,13,21,211,84,164,0.057,0.906,0.037000000000000005,-0.4473,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,6,3,3,0,0,6,0,9,7,1,1,0,15,22,9,0,3,3,0,1,0,1,1,6,0,2,0,6,4,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,1,2,1,21,2,17,17,1,25,0,1,0,0,2,12,0,3,10,72,27,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301134492667805,0.0,0.1349657328690526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419446631238957,0.0,0.11752687083556505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11027469474586317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636901122679877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748172647722642,0.0,0.0,0.10670837639581662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23548417337234465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372515208776227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854199542128431,0.0,0.13601681774350358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455283780069177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3902227490930056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102431807557345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449299123228137,0.0,0.0,0.10504373451316001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4407113294118668,0.0,0.0,0.17696178573555246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978115524597334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425130088164735,0.0,0.0,0.14079226104469209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175838902156123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32214709905534483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18754391835975245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928821115299587,0.0,0.0,0.08146462231256188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894242358087043
mentalhealth,UncleKwis,2019/03/30,"This may strike a nerve with some folks in here, but here goes... I’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety on and off for about 15 years (ever since I said goodbye to the more serious drugs). I’ve never really been medicated, even though I was diagnosed with panic attacks and anxiety in the past.

Recently I’ve come to a realization that some may benefit from, while others may be angered by.

I firmly believe that 90% of depression and anxiety is caused by something in your life that you know you should be taking care of, but aren’t mustering up the effort to handle. It’s your brain and/or souls way of punishing you.

Maybe it’s an unpaid bill.
Maybe it’s a family relationship you know you should mend, but haven’t.
Maybe you didn’t do your taxes in 2008 and you’re still wondering in the back of your head if it’ll ever come back to bite you in the arse.
Maybe you’ve done something wrong and haven’t told anyone, and you subconsciously feel guilty. 
Maybe you have certain habits that you know you need to break, but it’s your lifestyle... or whatever other excuse you come with.

My point... maybe if you just got up every morning, did the things you know you need to do, handled the business you needed to handle, and cherished the relationships you have (including your relationship with yourself)... you just might feel a million times better.

I know for a fact that when I complete a task which I know I’ve been procrastinating, the sense of accomplishment I feel when I’m finished is equal to or greater than any medication out there.

Now, I’m not trying to stand on a pedestal here. I continue to have great difficulty implementing this in my own life each and every day. This message is as much to myself as it is to all of you.

Be in the moment. Handle your business. Enjoy your life. You might surprise yourself.",5.199742120343842,6.610029971346705,5.5426521489971385,80.18880916905447,68.77077363896848,8.907782234957018,28.000114613180514,9.281916038205594,2.311346957020058,1456,49,275,29,25,464,174,349,0.13699999999999998,0.767,0.096,-0.9392,1,0,3,0,0,0,49.0,0,28,0,3,17,17,3,1,18,0,30,9,2,1,6,58,53,23,0,7,11,0,3,0,0,8,7,1,0,0,18,18,0,0,10,0,2,3,6,9,0,1,10,4,39,8,46,32,9,39,1,3,0,0,35,15,0,12,18,196,57,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842365377843505,0.0,0.1971691830358955,0.0,0.0,0.06007223113957739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773821896932114,0.0,0.13212328861288006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967943116676893,0.0,0.07598289478628771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590710394761884,0.0,0.0,0.0875938309398159,0.08825611696375532,0.0,0.2220188239543429,0.0900779419498717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055406652123155625,0.0,0.14799314688153986,0.08719968907663213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791862825948593,0.0,0.0,0.09963157880602114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05674459773365504,0.1554261022524204,0.14477048795316114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099094692994999,0.0,0.13032028747234714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687123187987451,0.09471917130229017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881713242318489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832925863526229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820482656885652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5178657632142598,0.0,0.0,0.17309622600119184,0.0,0.18227981977879548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315579725638595,0.19110976992145487,0.06626125191586987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080016624203783,0.0,0.0,0.08201349403410467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121537061861091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055037943091371035,0.0,0.08482853077915778,0.2767146032350967,0.0,0.0,0.08172275181296733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106796046278706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322797499034106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861007740671161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459573771430578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570766504432936,0.0,0.08440889514686863,0.0,0.05009644774763436,0.0,0.0,0.08209336731537778,0.0,0.058329155432697725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819358605054975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931687727105103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393216593629104,0.0,0.05532502994480231
mentalhealth,w3vvvs,2019/03/30,"Thought I was in a good place for a while Was happier than I've been in years for a few months but idk whats happened, I've become extremely dysfunctional; daily suicidal thoughts, oversleeping, over eating, isolating, lashing out etc, time is going really really fast but I'm not getting anything done at all. 

​

Idk what to do with myself I feel like I'm never going to be anything but a burden on the people who love me.  ",4.076282271944926,6.144227746987956,5.38368330464716,77.5831325301205,72.73493975903614,8.598278829604133,28.72461273666093,9.23628265651192,2.7964299483648887,345,14,60,8,7,115,62,83,0.151,0.7040000000000001,0.145,-0.1269,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,0,7,2,0,0,2,11,17,4,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,6,1,4,3,12,10,3,15,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,7,40,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21591866712419075,0.2421457454537569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279792046046993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22008795193568534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20393156163339496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20391212350343654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22224871455470133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007614285424252,0.1423649270101982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104115030324734,0.0,0.2265096477926714,0.16714573477133932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762217239319167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735763263435056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798570394560744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906256259337548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536962171327915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381549375254624,0.0,0.20820409615676305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25532640592586164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797883515153674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31641046505748965,0.11620116263993885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421457454537569,0.12832911497161073
mentalhealth,FrankieTakesNY,2019/03/30,"Everything seems pointless right now I recently lost my job and haven't been able to get a new one, I feel like my friends are leaving me out completely and no matter what challenges I set myself, they always seem like pointless tasks.
",9.908636363636363,8.244585318181823,8.276363636363637,74.90954545454545,59.45454545454545,11.52727272727273,40.18181818181819,10.125756701596842,3.954081818181818,190,8,34,3,2,57,38,44,0.101,0.6729999999999999,0.226,0.6105,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,2,1,5,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,8,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,8,4,2,6,0,6,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,5,20,9,2,0.25079443758171954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086810627915004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629531962405812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253978691797612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268092031710169,0.1791675963194785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376316035313548,0.0,0.13102974247776586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24887478108329986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655550975409548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450509881721341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273771754590821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24221883061548286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994480151643326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476292510455588,0.0,0.0,0.21417707937726246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4566276735881205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RockyK96,2019/03/30,"Can a single dose of prozac cause withdrawal symptoms? I was on prozac before a few years ago, it’s fuzzy if I was on or withdrawing from it exactly I’ll have to ask my doctor, but I went through a period of complete anxiety and sickness to the point I lost 10 pounds. I got prescribed again recently and being dumb, forgot that prozac was the reason I was so sick years ago. I took one pill, around Monday, and the next day the feeling of appetite suppression, increased heart rate, etc was very familiar and I was like oh no. I didn’t take a pill since, completely stopped usage but I still felt like I had days of side effects, couldn’t eat as much, crazy dreams, ect. Now 5 days later I’m having so much anxiety and panic, I can feel dread in my limbs, I know I couldn’t eat anything without throwing it up, woke up way earlier than usual, and doubt I’ll be able to go back to sleep, have been sweating and hot more than usual and even broke out into hives. It all  brings me back to that familiar feeling I had years ago when I was on it, I think I’m withdrawing, I forgot just how long the half life of this pill is. Is it possible to withdraw like this after just one pill? ",3.398554160855415,4.6784070167364025,4.251931659693168,88.22751162250117,72.97489539748955,7.654207345420736,25.4116689911669,8.167268648758528,1.3842913063691311,923,29,195,14,18,297,143,239,0.16699999999999998,0.7509999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9759,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,13,9,1,3,9,0,22,18,3,4,2,37,41,17,0,3,7,0,5,3,0,0,13,0,0,0,10,11,2,4,8,1,0,6,5,6,0,3,19,5,21,3,27,18,8,43,0,2,0,0,1,11,1,3,28,124,31,1,0.11853622156737326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31522562505938123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135977010226906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754521040931173,0.10552236833331972,0.11081536595178904,0.0,0.0,0.1822940751620296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086559394858352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176935185468347,0.0,0.0,0.24856594613479946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22933816996204395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132684558398332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24258429452715724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219922068270534,0.07829205640351916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17980642571823965,0.0,0.11381336166652405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736686638503621,0.0,0.0948042448773463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046599328699208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514440738342378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372563882557711,0.17373243108598233,0.0,0.0,0.10490082596976592,0.0,0.0,0.1293962883466739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17427552360895726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606461640101554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064642295115678,0.0,0.0,0.13907671595361584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120550436739422,0.13363177942264598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187497795108335,0.11704021848145885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805438740004617,0.0,0.11862182700896458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466317966318384,0.09910158893097383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320452091712075,0.08912448660387401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595322449752441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169810367457346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611018027704376,0.09780479691046833,0.0,0.09408853527322343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988426495654104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142646876160169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22900032098011566
mentalhealth,tournesolblue,2019/03/30,"how to stop traumatizing nightmares? hi,

ever since i could remember i’ve always had much more nightmares than normal dreams. as a kid i would often have nightmares about being trapped, falling, or loved ones getting hurt. i always remembered my dreams, and there are lots i wish i could forget. 

as i got older i started to develop OCD with intrusive thoughts. this gradually persisted into some of the worst dreams i could imagine. they became gory, violent, or very traumatizing to recall (i don’t even want to give examples). most of the time they would cause me to wake up or talk in my sleep.

today i am 16 and still deal with intrusive thoughts (they have worsened), my nightmares still as strange and frightening. i have significantly more nightmares than normal dreams. my usual nightmares are about losing loved ones, disasters, or even being pregnant. i still have very outlandish/gruesome nightmares that cause me to wake up or pretty much ruin my day.

one thing to note is that when i dream, in a lot of cases i’m aware i’m dreaming.

how do i stop having nightmares so frequently and that violent? how can i properly recover from an unsettling nightmare?

thank you",5.436371774618219,7.897626099526068,5.31152448657188,77.86016719325964,69.99526066350711,8.290784623486044,31.1535018430753,8.998388855275968,2.960974512901526,941,41,154,19,18,292,122,211,0.201,0.6729999999999999,0.125,-0.9609,0,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,3,2,15,9,2,0,5,0,20,5,3,5,1,41,33,17,0,9,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,2,5,6,0,1,1,6,0,3,4,0,26,3,25,22,9,20,0,3,0,2,11,5,0,11,14,115,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20256432348894413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25008332377009584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915544931512912,0.0,0.0,0.07850039293946412,0.12548967392496546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607920005483286,0.11010419897546264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635945370099492,0.11676649580158968,0.0,0.0,0.09735192109232267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030554129288338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617538850420566,0.0,0.20696678401220936,0.2197170786295584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895883295787424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385227414453695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24744521584141546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238346753600134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757737970910753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068940475476876,0.0,0.1218095535463023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615520868905538,0.0,0.29162119509020223,0.20352949550336666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783524962940708,0.0,0.11206493931684708,0.0,0.0,0.08086645404071388,0.0,0.0,0.19326678355347413,0.07097687159150906,0.0,0.1153778894127602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405919815751155,0.20086621403075455,0.07179458147020126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399738876258351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293513222064807,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mus1cx,2019/03/30,"What finally made you realize something was wrong? I ignored all the warning signs (weight loss, over sleeping, suicidal thoughts, etc) for months until I got home one day after work and cried/slept in my car because I was so exhausted I couldn’t get myself up to my condo. 

Was thinking about this (now that I’m in a better place) and how clouded my judgement was. Just curious to learn about others experiences.",8.39736842105263,8.018169789473685,7.812105263157897,72.89473684210529,61.631578947368425,10.757894736842106,38.73684210526316,10.125756701596842,3.979826315789473,328,15,56,6,4,103,63,76,0.229,0.7090000000000001,0.062,-0.916,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,3,6,5,0,0,2,0,5,3,1,2,1,13,11,5,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,2,1,1,4,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,7,1,9,1,11,3,2,12,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,6,40,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147794866673815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144267378405007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635976627170786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703951014870849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371619758469575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655913999596517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666977285962372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193908884505021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24319645505015694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22941142666833794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352074922640647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428994669216634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533079564627963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24262443293562094,0.0,0.0,0.1866493461056212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652002256612805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535174670637228,0.0,0.19247769325059036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952379785755414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765060062933465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650802917770165,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,XeroxUnicorn,2019/03/30,"What is wrong with me? Okay, this is going to be hard to explain. Secondly, if there is misspelling please don't judge my phone is cracked and hard to see. When I was 16 years old, during the summertime, I wouldn't sleep. I would stay up for 48 hours and when I would sleep it was for only about 3 hours. One day I was up a little too late and went to bed. I woke up and my day was normal as usual. I had got home extremely tired but decided to stay up and go on my computer. Within 5 mins of doing my brain literally snapped. The whole room became foggy my thoughts were rapid. It felt as if I had done every drug under the sun. It was such a bad trip. I had freaked out a knew I had caused some permanent damage to the brain somehow. I decided to go to bed but kept feeling the same way. As if I smoked a bag of dope and the world wouldn't stop spinning.  I want to fast forward now. I'm much better 10 years later. I can think a little bit more straight and actually hold a conversation. Before my thoughts were so rapid I couldn't even talk correctly. The only thing is now is I still do struggle minorly compared to how I used too. So now if I undersleep by even 30 mins my body will feel like I ran a marathon and if i oversleep it feels like I am in a dream. The thing is there's never a guarantee on which one i will do. Lets put it like this the average person sleeps 8 hours if i sleep 7 hours my body whole body will be swore as if I ran a marathon. If i oversleep say 10 hours I won't be able to think. Also, there's never a grantee that if i hit my exact 8ninwont struggle throughout my day. My brain sometimes hurts not from a headache it's hard to explain. Also, it doesn't matter how much sleep I get I am always tired always. If i sleep for 7, 8, 9 or 10 hours I'm tired. The difference is my mood... The thing is sometimes when I do get the exact amount of sleep I get in a bad mood and hurt other people. Not physically, mentally. I may call them names or insult them. This, in particular, is my fiance. I just don't know what to do... I feel like a certain part of my brain is damaged and the chemicals just aren't working as they should. My world best explained is to imagine you guys who don't sleep for maybe 24 hours or so. You know how you get that foggy brain. In which the world around you feels like a dream? Yup that's pretty much me if I don't in the exact amount of time for sleep. I don't know what to do the last time I talked to a Dr they said anxiety and yeah no it's not just anxiety it feel more like every mental illness known to man is in my head.",1.1108228865316612,2.870873085610203,2.751040394299796,94.51210221793636,80.43897996357013,5.981656487731705,20.600771456123432,6.965498970235437,0.22371128254580475,2000,54,468,23,51,658,235,549,0.129,0.775,0.096,-0.9529,0,0,2,0,0,0,55.0,0,4,4,3,29,23,1,2,32,3,56,24,18,5,7,87,94,43,0,19,22,0,10,6,0,10,6,2,4,3,25,14,0,3,22,4,0,9,17,11,0,3,23,13,64,10,52,55,14,67,0,4,1,0,24,24,0,17,39,303,89,2,0.05388125549540276,0.0,0.052580332898965916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861776411058243,0.08966704181911725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243802594900285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047965740880444634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997719543423144,0.0,0.0,0.04584897988460164,0.0,0.056545053433130224,0.04765359187189998,0.058824375878155866,0.17954978458750448,0.0,0.30074650366969835,0.05501878614631975,0.0,0.0,0.055350891668692406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424685692844987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056294443952050535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055139231544135886,0.0,0.0,0.062485150208201674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117612217698058,0.0,0.09079456326874184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346389037435413,0.19246389845949824,0.0517344549847925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260292851815527,0.0,0.09186587757617264,0.0,0.0430937621660368,0.0,0.0,0.05335091413937027,0.0,0.0,0.14480106470020487,0.0,0.05529771288087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404729247093034,0.0,0.3714352817740115,0.0,0.11536199681292245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888351867111224,0.043920414664126516,0.06078040310110969,0.0,0.0,0.05509723431079786,0.0,0.15794195872627398,0.10800634624021456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05413096327810149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859926506564813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882676733751155,0.0,0.0831130918241838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279219031173514,0.0,0.0,0.056539313839664825,0.0,0.07302266636307482,0.0819582455732308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583481490115038,0.0,0.037354478277749084,0.047047034001677285,0.0,0.05914543829660024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481660749983537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05416554387550727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05125341265948346,0.04284853700518498,0.0,0.0,0.04293638460017033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4852815110435961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065798788501778,0.0,0.0,0.11486049845787097,0.043029640239883774,0.04504714223706892,0.0,0.1126567742372086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661542436304312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738893588971272,0.06904986578342621,0.0,0.08555139653741392,0.06283718676189608,0.1857857308172492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046536104932768815,0.05934259064174744,0.0,0.031780560506381166,0.04276843264624661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049948463657437665,0.0,0.1203129951001039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039226195723308974,0.0,0.0,0.07655139595038198,0.058910694463030634,0.0,0.06939552394537198
mentalhealth,lost-in-my-thought,2019/03/30,"How to tell my parents I want anti-depressants? My parents kind of know that I have been depressed for a while but they never truly get it. They force me to go out side when I cannot and ridicule me for it when I am incapable of doing it. My mom even starts crying and says that I'm making her upset when I do things like that. I have high anxiety and even though I have friends, its hard for me to make plans with them, because even when I'm at home I think ''I want to be home rn'' because I rarely feel safe. My mom is extremely against medication because my dad used to use them and it kinda broke up their marriage. They feel like going out and being active will cure me but I can't even bring myself to do those things It's been years of on and off depression and its so debilitating. How can I tell my parents that I actually need meds or something else other than ''getting a better outlook on life''?",4.324354838709677,4.766543854838711,5.1098387096774225,86.03475806451617,70.12903225806451,7.920430107526883,27.32795698924731,7.793537801064563,1.3931053763440857,711,22,153,8,12,231,110,186,0.155,0.727,0.117,-0.8302,3,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,6,2,12,11,1,1,2,0,16,2,0,6,1,29,35,19,0,3,3,6,3,2,1,1,2,1,2,0,15,10,0,1,4,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,2,4,31,6,22,30,0,20,0,3,0,0,18,9,0,2,10,110,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.1174840046388122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920985936093003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201672498460533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064758342114731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224358487534274,0.0,0.0,0.31107712761103057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057102274791373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180678176412802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217463602593293,0.08600717527927351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301359418497894,0.0,0.12579839501768314,0.0,0.13684167434550265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078464641246016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719943643406895,0.2415234750061804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536843905773856,0.06616360726683104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503554653303352,0.11763367776893364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607235198727252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13372698220269955,0.12128101406358015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820003808167904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926821506157291,0.09285276763253876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4010390390853909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573955588977397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268268048924384,0.0,0.0,0.08521319192717065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210453642464935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996452851762294,0.07714153091800742,0.11828329982570675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795790617374293,0.0,0.0,0.14201916618253918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752769531505975
mentalhealth,efeenes74,2019/03/30,"How would I get anxiety meds? Hello, first time posting here. I went to see a psychiatrist last week, for the first time in my life. I said I had anxiety and depression, the usual. He told me to go see a psychologist. I did what he asked, and booked an appointment with a psychologist... only, for two months later. I’m on the waiting list, apparently.

Even if I weren’t on the waiting list, I don’t think they could help me with my anxiety. I’ve tried helping myself by trying to utilize some anxiety management techniques I read online, only to realize they don’t really work in my case. I don’t drink coffee, I stay away from caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol; tried meditating, and that didn’t work either. As you can see I can’t even help myself.

I don’t think I can physically wait two months for a psychologist’s appointment that will probably not help me. That brings me to my question: How can I get anxiety meds?",3.6825423728813576,5.6762763502824924,5.3453333333333335,77.75630508474578,73.63276836158192,9.465762711864409,27.619209039548025,9.888512548439397,2.9144571751412425,722,28,137,21,15,245,97,177,0.078,0.8590000000000001,0.064,0.1179,2,0,3,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,2,4,5,1,0,0,9,0,15,3,0,2,0,20,32,7,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,4,5,2,3,4,3,0,3,8,1,0,4,7,4,27,0,18,22,2,20,0,1,3,0,14,5,0,3,10,89,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440649852798275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4452652648322499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882729557979012,0.0,0.10937068505876164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294362206368667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002634489704766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403712573740135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537749334777669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19803595394669388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163846043217826,0.0,0.0661582788397605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31210770099192425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948893903842979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222356859825658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586097259999407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185834121796906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770695477008452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148825275963783,0.0,0.12550927655477784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040543399528973,0.0,0.11644113817087308,0.0,0.07457499370560393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073222144110567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27829022502446904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407718325580985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491811887572763,0.0,0.0,0.1357587898679548,0.0,0.0,0.11123439589035017,0.0,0.2371035046872207,0.0,0.2274305989176247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820876790172134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337678833443984,0.0,0.0,0.10791289889523127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694952029822311,0.0,0.0,0.08269406550858234,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MeShruggs,2019/03/30,"I think I might have or be on the autism spectrum, will a psyciatrist help? I haven't been normal in a long time, I think. I went through a 6 year long depressive phase without really knowing what it was. I got out of it, somehow, but have been relapsing ever since. I have trouble holding onto a job because I just didnt find it interesting. I over analyze a lot of stuff and have maybe OCD. It has to be done perfect ot nothing at all.

What really gets me is that sometimes I say stuff that no one understands, leading me to question even myself. I think my boss is legit scared of me sometimes because Im unpredictable.

I was also raised by/or are in the company of narcissists who pretend not to hear me unless it benefits them. When I first started work after finishing college late, I practically word vomited to anyone who would give me the time of day.

Thing is, I need to get this under control somehow because I have two siblings who are special needs. My youngest sister had a mental breakdown and has been struggling to function ever since and my youngest brother is LFA(low functioning autism).",5.807142857142857,6.866086285714289,6.218095238095242,77.19857142857146,67.0952380952381,9.047619047619053,35.95238095238096,9.23628265651192,3.411238095238096,880,44,155,16,14,284,132,210,0.098,0.835,0.067,-0.6527,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,5,8,8,0,2,9,0,27,1,0,3,4,34,41,8,0,4,6,2,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,16,4,0,2,7,1,0,2,5,4,0,3,10,2,26,4,23,26,2,24,0,1,0,0,11,8,0,6,14,121,42,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186198417562667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906377381837367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23294040824455664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286223379765986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214653325035069,0.0,0.10970816224472553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034915922351434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413018664517688,0.2304365087475653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641871978493235,0.10834536807261803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309667769579225,0.12218999766394928,0.0,0.0,0.1018736661504741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356122438000055,0.0,0.08537698096824094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758718547305487,0.0,0.12640033437475318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07000213564208453,0.0,0.14368489040610355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254462706301564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828992803697148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796561275272006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283643469193786,0.13512506804276794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18889434713151484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480075307531704,0.1222200390225121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631280213859187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268949110818807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319976208404496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129395379971527,0.12752489958746202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107323346017915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519548642447881,0.0,0.09015689540209204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316032334345387,0.2916284964264923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462249177295401,0.24485085384700125,0.0,0.0,0.14854712757155206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244271631470452,0.13260218305676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807818244695295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278524715894715,0.0,0.0927307379678947,0.0,0.0,0.09048376101806453,0.0,0.0,0.08202551927944404
mentalhealth,je_ne_suis_pas_moi,2019/03/30,"I am not sure if I have an eating disorder. Hello, r/mentalhealth. As the title states, I have doubts about my behavior being an eating disorder of some kind and I really need your opinion on this topic. I could not post this to the ED subreddit, as it is stated in their rules that no triggering information should be made public on that subreddit, thus I am writing on this subject here, because, as far as I know, there is no such a rule on this site.

Some additional details: I am female, sixteen years old and have lived in Russia for my entire life.

I would like to start with the point where it all began. About five years ago my mother and I went to an endocrinologist, as I suddenly started gaining weight  without any visible reasons. I was an extremely impressionable child and the doctor had been warned not to be too direct when telling me about any issues I might have by my mother before we made this fateful visit, however she, the endocrinologist, ignored my mother's advice. When she measured my weight and height, she calculated my BMI and proceeded to mock me for letting myself become ""so disgustingly fat"". My whole world was shattered. 

And, although my BMI was 25.0 (yes, I remember this number to this day), I indeed believed her words and started losing weight. In the beginning it was relatively normal - I cut out a lot of objectively unhealthy foods and started being more active. Be the time I was about 12 it turned into a nightmare. My thirty minute daily workout became gradually increasing its duration and intensity until I had to stop meeting my friends and family after school and spend little to no time on homework. I avoided social events which involved food. I still do.

This was horrible, but not the worst thing in the world. Then my parents started sending me to camps, where I had no opportunities to exercise. I couldn't eat properly for the months during which I was there. My diet consisted of a cucumber, half a tomatoe, a quarter of a pepper and a ton of coffee to keep my heart beating. Do I really need to tell you that I would faint/be about to faint every day?

When I came home, my mother was terrified of how much weight I had lost. I did not know what she was talking about, and I honestly still do not understand her reaction, but seeing this strong woman cry her heart out made me see myself from a different perspective. 

This is where I still am right now: on a treadmill for two to five hours a day, eating nothing throughout the whole day and then eating salad, a yoghurt and crackers before I go to bed. I feel guilty when I think about what my mother is feeling, but I can not stop myself from doing this. I am afraid to tell anyone, so I need your help.

Thank you for reading.",6.9754798962386495,7.238610426070039,7.322739299610897,73.0785188067445,64.38910505836576,10.121815823605706,32.892088197146556,9.888512548439397,3.209946251621272,2165,81,378,42,30,707,264,514,0.113,0.813,0.07400000000000001,-0.9231,3,1,0,0,0,0,64.0,1,4,1,6,26,18,3,3,27,1,45,20,3,7,2,74,73,36,0,10,12,6,6,1,1,4,5,0,3,2,24,23,14,5,9,3,1,6,13,10,0,5,22,8,72,8,59,39,11,69,0,2,2,0,36,24,0,7,37,295,96,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221043278318384,0.06550445134478444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050379060048366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05166988496005753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504638859899016,0.0816124583202518,0.1257603100621621,0.08325562167046632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451747461488263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059000038479086914,0.0,0.08117141743175132,0.19062753534647686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720571694294734,0.1693827101288275,0.07563580960661204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780708924330705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06226066783478434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966268492597362,0.0,0.07472819674936831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871096216575738,0.0,0.05709195865745299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0419968676772828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751345149265319,0.04953101127134098,0.0,0.07412383303044141,0.0,0.07277279251748471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712834999611239,0.0,0.06568226637806845,0.0,0.0769514370705795,0.08122274950892931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556378885564531,0.05219501460639067,0.036101911375190615,0.07406332499674889,0.0652516274027464,0.0,0.0,0.08267085588165109,0.08066634372700865,0.06282383829157842,0.0,0.2097668851562678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839210513612231,0.0,0.0,0.058983177615091725,0.0,0.05432215046609532,0.16437910893705665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724025075277001,0.07090531969805385,0.0,0.07754154680294388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205289574465728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985571831187333,0.0,0.07077205575523585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391611688990038,0.0,0.09467949280464637,0.07597751827922812,0.0,0.0,0.083709898263106,0.06310688233457494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478681811062578,0.117771279837769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532778792394798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615202687953594,0.0,0.17704060958557424,0.12356092958680505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964621815167735,0.0,0.0,0.05939490175941945,0.1937653967713061,0.0680336186253136,0.0,0.0,0.04909329829048772,0.04734964961341913,0.0,0.0,0.08617884313347683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037775826602146,0.07218577127469326,0.0769284665386795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599422635278967,0.0,0.06850244315683941,0.0,0.1650047569910935,0.0,0.07123322225749001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049873662908326,0.0,0.0,0.0951733564221262
mentalhealth,itsbabie,2019/03/30,"How to go to a GP about mental health? I live in the UK and I think I have some kind of mental health issue. I don’t know what could be wrong but from symptoms I’ve seen online I related with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. I’m at the point where I realise there’s a problem that I’ve been not accepting for a while now and it’s really effecting my life and my relationship. 

I don’t know how to approach this at my GP. What do I say? Do I take any checklists of symptoms I have? Will they do any tests on me? ",0.8991666666666696,3.0785715357142855,3.3267857142857125,87.83488095238096,83.64285714285714,7.3047619047619055,22.72619047619048,8.344100000000001,1.4641940476190485,420,15,92,10,12,145,72,112,0.189,0.8109999999999999,0.0,-0.9637,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,11,5,0,3,0,17,18,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,2,15,2,13,13,1,10,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,1,2,62,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485086704589652,0.0,0.1397785781467638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588525499251284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573745297925243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20941037070023036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384270769855332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884408466240392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907098587795492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19027241860292987,0.2008337931424096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905894998509632,0.0,0.0,0.1613431202371212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3682730313811796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595420909968174,0.0,0.0,0.17272733274953792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483620957501184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705366900111028,0.0,0.0,0.19617048261343192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530448805163793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3798274059420613,0.1373810080209618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170781559762584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997731754220992,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daka_throwaway_55555,2019/03/30,"should i see a therapist about violent fantasies? throwaway for obvious reasons, marked as NSFW just to be safe

i've been having really detailed daydreams/dreams involving having my throat slit, being stabbed, attacked, etc. i don't feel afraid at all, i feel excited. relieved, maybe? i think ive started to romanticize violence. i don't know if this is some sort of weird kink, or if i'm at risk of attacking somebody myself because i want to fulfill that image of somebody who could hold his own in a fight, i don't know. sometimes it involves my father, maybe as some sort of coping mechanism since he has been really pushy about church and i'm still closeted, etc, etc, he's been very threatening to me and maybe this is my way of creating a power fantasy where i can get back at him. the idea of being put in a situation where i can get hurt is exciting to me, so maybe i'm just seeking an adrenaline rush. i don't know. i've started obsessing over the idea of being murdered or somebody trying to murder me but fighting back. 

i have no idea where this all stops being just some teenage angst and starts being something that could result in me getting hurt or hurting someone. and i don't even feel really nervous about that idea, i just know, consciously, that it'd be bad. is this just some dumb teenager thing? its so freaking angsty that i'm afraid to talk to people about it bc lol, of course this kid is having murder fantasies, what an edgy teen, wow so scary... i sound so dumb describing this i can't even take myself seriously. 

i just wanted to get this out there and maybe get some advice. here are some things that may or may not be important: 

* i have a bad relationship with my parents because of how religious and nosy they are. i'm gay. they monitor my phone and stuff. bad juju. ive never done anything specific to make them suspicious of me, they just don't want me to watch porn i guess? 
* but i have a good relationship with my friends. i'm not lonely. i'm a little insecure but i'm not too worried, i just trust my friends when they say they like me
* i exercise regularly and eat alright. i'm not physically unhealthy
* i've been depressed before and almost attempted, but i'm in a better place now. i don't really want to die, so idk why i'm fantasizing about being beat within an inch of my life
* i don't have the money (or the relationship with my parents necessary) to see a therapist at the moment anyway, so what do i do in the meantime?
* i've never been tested for any kind of personality disorder or depression/anxiety or anything like that. too nervous to ask my parents. 
* the fantasies are always positive. cathartic almost. like me dreaming about what my life will be like once i move out, away from my parents. like it's better than where i'm at right now.
* sorry if this is tmi but i'm sometimes turned on by violence. the fantasies are never sexual though, which makes me wonder how related they actually are, plus i had these fantasies wayy before i even realized i was into that stuff. so i don't know anything i guess

i know this sounds dumb and edgy but any advice would be appreciated. i guess i'm just worried this could be a symptom of something bigger?",2.5871553972712675,5.066092730337079,4.021815559791332,83.5661663573435,79.16051364365971,7.168228330658108,25.785739365971107,8.228746081469772,1.9200513844301763,2533,100,476,51,64,835,270,623,0.183,0.688,0.129,-0.9901,5,2,2,0,3,1,78.0,0,0,7,5,43,48,11,7,21,2,64,8,1,6,6,102,111,40,4,12,29,5,3,5,2,5,4,3,1,2,33,17,1,3,18,8,1,3,18,29,0,0,8,9,66,19,61,82,12,44,1,5,3,2,32,26,3,26,19,325,99,1,0.0,0.0,0.05952100952787531,0.0,0.0,0.119204588882581,0.0,0.0,0.12215267134732573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050751607646792166,0.0,0.0,0.08295555488251866,0.0,0.046659979667667065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505777449478531,0.0,0.05702083454627041,0.13877817738988946,0.057305547323607625,0.09380071264757356,0.15278146442196774,0.07436233279075563,0.0,0.10380221722059152,0.0,0.0,0.10788786374917084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460954129455209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05253374628419668,0.0,0.0633017849658815,0.0,0.0699040136809232,0.0,0.0,0.06241768633158998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062411736869481725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407214716884853,0.12085720304568275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252067493687212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424709419340124,0.0,0.15933333842889175,0.0,0.0,0.051158584581309605,0.0,0.0,0.20157416473519268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588490980032536,0.2754176524725089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351550646057343,0.2011231083227808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616324564286569,0.1489920963455699,0.061131666625119825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142747761372919,0.0,0.30638162630312216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482660331785413,0.0,0.0,0.14112620225885952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495625270869129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270904946193452,0.0,0.0,0.04228532104866991,0.05325730752699703,0.06372538837429728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131547054469146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15629639070682125,0.06271163654418167,0.0,0.19645307996755626,0.0,0.05208824870875354,0.0,0.048504603123029885,0.0,0.0,0.09720809344398494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05045458229056789,0.06855942454688459,0.0,0.0,0.051679726547306036,0.09391179208487492,0.12064857019279142,0.06827740393807266,0.1295148703227522,0.0,0.04870961223506325,0.050993427284840666,0.0,0.0,0.1396462863568537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339576233158879,0.0458596383363633,0.04902439005739962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163667071918448,0.08104294925331533,0.039082271760157036,0.05992595704886763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04141068849526625,0.06634358263835148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05032615372934531,0.14390255370473193,0.04841392487797661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0550372873178757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614501779736748,0.0,0.12388403614271072,0.0,0.04332814301965413,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Martian_Pudding,2019/03/30,"I don't know if my therapist is actually helping I've started to see a therapist because I have a lot of self esteem issues and anxiety that cause me to have emotional outburst and procrastinate doing all the stuff that I need to do and even the stuff that I want to do. I think these issues are largely caused by my childhood.
At first she started giving me an exercise where I should write down an event that was upsetting to me and what I thought and felt at the time, and then also write down what would make more sense to think and feel. That was nice and all but it has been months and we're still doing that and I feel like we've never moved on to actually *doing* anything. The closest to something to do she gave me was to start planning those things I was avoiding, as if I hadn't tried that before. I feel like we're not getting to the root of the problems at all and if planning is really the only thing that could help then I wouldn't need her for that. She also wrote in my admission letter to my GP that I might have an anxiety disorder and I personally feel like that could be the case, but we haven't discussed the possibility at all. We usually just discuss whatever came up in my life between appointments and I don't see much of an overarching structure or plan to our talks. Is this normal and is this all there is to therapy? Or are there other things we could be doing that she just isn't offering? Should I do something? I tried to tell her I was unsatisfied last time but it didn't really seem to land. ",5.690295815295813,5.645845590909094,6.331385281385285,80.14644300144303,67.11688311688312,9.831457431457432,30.74747474747475,9.586721724236666,2.555977777777777,1214,42,249,23,18,398,145,308,0.064,0.865,0.071,-0.1999,0,1,2,0,0,0,17.0,4,0,0,4,9,7,0,2,15,0,41,2,0,4,6,67,65,27,0,15,11,0,5,3,0,5,2,0,0,2,26,18,0,1,10,1,0,2,9,3,0,1,13,7,37,4,33,42,8,30,0,0,2,0,25,13,0,8,18,196,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.19876353824417325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16288383811342336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581561412870995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380616526294866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208110587682141,0.0,0.08665887951166408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647855584422405,0.0,0.20923677098392046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439343807222879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671819082791493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114557007058254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726477896964045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059747402030571,0.21826491008863216,0.09778298039373476,0.0,0.0,0.08662559214953076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05320752849722931,0.0976948169606566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652326193319245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125903279323276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596894966163196,0.08301371005550197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719330523222947,0.14926257035102752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658126606524948,0.0,0.0,0.06797941470239692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803682004758144,0.0,0.0,0.08128822328180953,0.1082404780262814,0.07486458469653852,0.15102708094543738,0.07854577602775377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978219953630804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07745439207147249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892331435059447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481001418401872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097447733866139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304834371850348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230760156922336,0.09271188928416836,0.106241992975972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680379269188113,0.0,0.0,0.2162499769810643,0.0,0.08133006270507426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331663239511091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185564479973842,0.08901320384274143,0.0,0.11646364168079278,0.2364896533222068,0.2029751780644942,0.13051073359283527,0.0,0.08085008852160161,0.11876818655849572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382862124102856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121630715727292,0.0,0.06006824515327085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234466519005169,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,accountuserbame,2019/03/30,"Sex Sorry if this is too long. 
TLDR is that I have a really weird relationship with sex/physical contact and I don’t know why. 

So I have pretty bad depression and I get really anxious in social situations sometimes where I feel like everyone’s watching me, but those I can mostly handle. The thing that’s really getting to me is I have a really weird relationship with sex, and I always have. Even when I was a kid I remember thinking about doing sexual things with naked women. And I mean really little, like one my earliest memories is sitting in a bathtub and my mom was next to me and I asked her if it was bad to be thinking about naked women because I was and I didn’t know if it was a bad thing (I’m pretty sure she said yes it’s a bad thing). When I was in daycare I got in trouble a couple times for masturbating during nap time. Except it was like pseudo-masturbation, I was just like fondling my crotch through my pants and they’d tell me to stop and that I wasn’t supposed to be doing that. And I started watching porn when I was really young, like 7 or 8 I think. And now I’m really obsessed with sex, and I think about it basically all the time except the weird thing is that I can’t let people touch me at all. Whenever anyone touches me, even friends or family, I get really anxious. Like if a friend were to rest their hand on my shoulder I would be mostly fine, but if they squeezed down at all I’d immediately get the feeling of pins and needles and feel incredibly anxious and shy away or try to get them to take their hand off my shoulder. One time my friend was giving a neck massage to another friend and offered to give one to me, and I accepted, and even though I had a really sore neck I could only stand it for less than 10 seconds before I had to make them stop. And it gets WAY worse if people touch me near my crotch. Whenever someone touches my thigh it sends this bolt of panic through my whole body. I can’t even let my family’s cat walk on my lap because the pressure of the cats foot on my thigh makes me feel super panicked. I don’t know why I’m like this, I don’t remember anything happening to me as a kid or anything but it just seems like I’ve always been like this. I have no fucking clue. Does anyone know why I might be like this or something I can do to try to stop being like this?",4.3098356791703125,4.77264349895616,5.635711495723619,82.1783352414304,70.16910229645094,8.852878981749614,27.977708936628733,8.933256019334266,2.018029510404742,1832,60,382,32,31,617,202,479,0.142,0.6890000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.9537,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,6,1,17,32,1,3,17,1,47,18,12,2,4,72,81,39,0,8,18,1,11,11,4,2,1,1,0,4,26,23,0,3,17,1,0,2,8,13,0,4,18,14,66,19,46,52,8,35,0,1,2,5,28,15,1,15,26,261,92,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108389146945903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829599101025158,0.0,0.22073995594711385,0.0,0.09108283079846546,0.0,0.10719524681544512,0.0,0.06088910185492784,0.0,0.061193129416724,0.0,0.21752811868991248,0.07940703940052232,0.0,0.05542205605552072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234634410050338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05200215295667693,0.07206669664406137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05609761157956622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05699695976648678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207480048785315,0.0,0.0,0.06223587956546334,0.0,0.0,0.12280024522958025,0.0,0.13172964688539093,0.04652991187997524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20128154782499005,0.06021296434617416,0.2041709269886589,0.12496001915645764,0.0,0.0,0.05209156034486809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759551497751996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317813860485348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332026150271121,0.0,0.3500192342805269,0.06527881089986393,0.0,0.057639272516755324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695148041351328,0.0,0.0,0.070947229244752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909416242719067,0.0,0.07628115228129577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926802255639639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240424275580645,0.04953539306440772,0.0,0.07641770841629268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030787573659572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252417398493446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755237991573263,0.0,0.0,0.13985357797773834,0.1475624438790458,0.0,0.06195491189989665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929321442736645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321046451824582,0.0,0.0663932982161995,0.05518565553473745,0.0501413625312221,0.0644166569778904,0.07290931176045509,0.046100366609042286,0.0,0.0,0.16335839413358458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061385608934159876,0.0,0.048970735204288934,0.0,0.05692774705666369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635216456296266,0.16693438073026734,0.06399130653799233,0.0,0.15191465964365536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843994128584277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051698303375406415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631297507217494,0.0727169238599024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637449902719081,0.04626750440433812,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OlixsHD,2019/03/30,"I'm feeling quite paranoid I live alone in my home. When the day turns to night the real paranoia starts. I start double checking every hiding spot in my house, when outside of the house even on the day I grab the key off when I live in a relatively peace country with my home situated away from the city. 

When sitting, I turn multiple times to see if someone is watching me. I look at the windows, and I'm sometimes mistaken for some noices that aren't coming from other people.

I try to keep my pet with me, for some company. As it gives me a peace of a mind when sleeping. 

Could this be a mental disorder, or have I just watched too much movies?",4.2336837606837605,5.172723992307695,5.020256410256412,84.79696581196585,70.61538461538461,7.623931623931623,29.05982905982906,7.793537801064563,1.7379572649572657,509,19,103,6,9,165,88,130,0.109,0.825,0.066,-0.5356,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,11,0,5,1,1,0,0,14,17,9,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,15,0,19,15,4,20,0,0,4,0,1,7,0,4,11,69,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156074724292235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655969148612472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437336203591838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454698046316805,0.0,0.0,0.20120396979872407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787804350050656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303129580240032,0.0,0.13143005293447882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887428127602293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964181461412107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312945544520953,0.0,0.0,0.3599878264115809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865292562928672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754877241715843,0.0,0.1309940572497617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720332410186852,0.0,0.1575075296418542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467212542948085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638799727062365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814526510475794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591677555959464,0.0,0.17755313487945654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430548917587687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17534163059844388,0.15610473282487994,0.0,0.13217158080855124,0.0,0.15428015307004314,0.0,0.2208239902753512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096023467754248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590838083827167,0.3393491715087555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,41562673,2019/03/30,"I had a really bad experience at the hospital today I've never been to the hospital about mental health issues ever, besides a suicide attempt many years ago.  I was doing good for a while but depression crept back up in the last month and I've had a lot of trouble dealing with it.  Last night something happened, and I freaked out.  After I smoked I started feeling stomach pains.  This just made me freak the fuck out for a solid hour before I decided I needed help.  I was shaking and hyperventilating for a while.  I've had panic attacks in the past but this was way more intense, like WAY more intense.  I had an insane amount of anxiety.  I tried finding free shuttle services to the hospital with no luck, my RA wasn't home either.  I was running out of options and finally called 911.

The ambulance drivers were very kind, they were mainly trying to help me calm down.  I've never felt so ridiculous in my life, a grown ass man hyperventilating, crying in an ambulance, it was honestly really embarrassing.  I just got completely overwhelmed with emotions, I wasn't even really thinking at this point.  My emotions were making all my decisions, I couldn't think logically.  It was more intense than any moment or any high I've had in my life I really can't describe it.  It didn't even really feel like a panic attack, like I was definitely panicking but this was just so much more intense.  It was just pure emotions controlling me. I've never delt with something like that before.  I still have a hard time remembering everything, it's like my body went on autopilot, I completely lost control.  I'm still having a hard time proccessing this, I've never felt anything like it.  

We got to the hospital and it was just a shitshow after that.  I was still freaking out at this point.  First thing they do is bring me into the main lobby in a wheelchair, crying and damn near delirious to fill out paperwork infront of 30 people.  Then they wheeled me into the waiting room.  I've still recieved no help or coping mechanisms besides what the ambulance drivers told me.  Then they just told me to sit down until a doctor was ready.  

My anxiety was really bad and sitting there shaking breathing heavily infront of the other 20 people in the room didn't help.  I asked multiple times for a private room, even just a closet to calm down in and they said I had to stay out there.  Every time a baby cried or someone started talking near me I just couldn't control my anxiety and emotions.  I was crying, hyperventalating, just generally freaking out and no one did anything or said anything.  I sat there for maybe an hour and it wasn't getting any better.  They eventually gave me a cot, in the middle of the fucking waiting room.  Anxiety was running high at this point and I had to completely throw the blanket over my head/body to get myself together.  I layed under the blanket for maybe an hour, or two until I crashed.

Then they had some lady come over to do my blood work, in the waiting room again.  She told me they were going to do some needles.  I asked here if there's any way to do it without needles (I know it's bloodwork I wasn't really thinking straight).  She got really mad and told me I'd either have to sit here until the doctor got back or do it now.  I told her to do the bloodwork, and she shoved the needle in like half a second after.  I jerked my hand away in shock and this made her even more mad.  She said I tried to stab her with the needle, and just left.  Then I had another nurse asking me why I tried to stab a nurse?? I just jerked my hand back when she put the needle in without warning, clearly there's no malice here.  I told her it was an accident and I'm sorry and she left.  I've had two nurses mad at me now, neither of which seemed to even care about what was going on.  I still haven't seen a doctor and haven't been checked up on once since I got the bed.  

At this point I had been waiting about 3hrs since calling 911 until I could actually see a doctor.  Who did the entire ""examination"" in the waiting room.  He asked me a few questions, had me take an x-ray and that was it.  He told me high THC weed causes panic attacks and I was perfectly fine and could go home.  I waited 3 hours for this man to fill out a short form and that was it.  He didn't any bloodwork, provide any help, coping mechanisms, medication, references, nothing.  He litteraly filled out a half page form, then told me I could go, at 1AM.  So I walked back 6KM to my dorm and that's about it.

I don't know if I should expect more from public healthcare, or if this is how it always is but I'm really dissapointed.  It took me a lot of time and courage to see any healthcare proffesional and this guy didn't help in any way.  I get I could have asked more questions but I was having damn near cripping anxiety and could barely bring myself to talk to the people working there.    




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mentalhealth,doritosandpopcorn,2019/03/30,"At a breaking point with my sister who is ill and need to vent. First off I apologize for how stupidly long this post is.


My sister is schizophrenic. I found out about this a few years ago, but she was diagnosed when she was in her 20s. I was really young and had no idea. She is 35 years old and has not got her life together. She receives a good amount of disability money from the government and has a part time job at a bank. She is in university, but has failed numerous classes because she does not study and gets distracted easily. She blames the environment because our apartment is small, and we have 5 people (including her) living here. My mom and her partner sleep in the living room so she can have her own bedroom. She is impossible to live with. She complains about everything, she is morbidly obese, she eats constantly, she trashes the kitchen whenever she cooks, she will bang on the door demanding to use the washroom if she needs it and someone is in there. If someone is cooking in the kitchen, she will be extremely nosy and literally (I mean LITERALLY) beg for food, even if she has just ate. She rummages through my room and eats whatever snacks I have in there. If there are leftovers from a restaurant in the fridge, she will happily eat it without asking you, and when you confront her, she will say she didn't do it. 


A few days ago, she was screaming at my mom for soap over and over again. My mom tells her where it is but she is screaming for soap and it is almost 11pm. We are watching a family friend's cat for a week, and she is screaming so much that the cat was visibly frightened and hid somewhere. She barges in my room demanding for soap, I rummage through and manage to find some and I am angry at this point, because she is acting like a baby for a soap bar. I throw it at her, but nowhere near aiming at her face but she ducks wanting it to hit her face, and it hits her mouth. Yes, I shouldn't have thrown the soap in general, but it's like she wanted it to hit her face instead of her arm, which would not hurt her at all. This is where she goes ballistic and becomes extremely aggressive. She calls me a fat pig, ugly, disgusting, threatens to hurt me and damage my belongings, threatens to call the police on me and press charges (this is a reoccurring thing she says to everyone) throws the soap bar at my laptop screen, and at this point my mom and brother are intervening and she begins verbally abusing them. At one point, she says to me ""You tried to stab me"" when I have never done such a thing and I'm so confused.  In fact, my sister in her early 20's pulled a knife on me and my older brother when we were little, and would physically abuse us. She tormented us and my mom and was on all sorts of drugs. Cops at the house were a normal appearance because of her. It's like they knew us. But then she got help, she lived with her best friend for a bit and became a functioning adult, like getting a job and going to school. But she still has these mentally abusing outbursts. 


Sometimes she acts ""normal"", she will buy everyone birthday/christmas gifts every year, she cooks very well without using recipes, she works as a customer service agent at a bank, she is okay with animals, and she will say to me that she wants me and my brother to do good in life or will compliment my hair/makeup, etc. When she is not having an episode, she asks A LOT of questions but it's usually harmless and if you ask her to stop, she'll leave you alone. 


The soap incident happened on Wednesday, and she said sorry to me yesterday but I stayed quiet. She then goes ""I guess you're not sorry"" with an attitude. The cat we are watching is in my room at night, and she knocks on my door demanding to get the cat. I ignore it. She then picks the lock, and gets the cat and then says I scared the cat and I'm on the phone with my boyfriend at this point, and he hears everything she says. She proceeds to call me a mean bitch, fat pig, brings up the fact that I tried stabbing her, and says she will call the police and press charges.


I am so tired of being mentally abused. I don't give a flying fuck that she is schizophrenic. I have tried so many years to separate her and her mental illness because I know she can be kind hearted and she is just suffering. But at this point, she has absolutely no remorse for the pain she causes our family and the PTSD my mom probably has because of her. She picks fights with my mom everyday over the smallest thing. My mom is burnt out. The only reason she lives here is because she pays my mom 700-800 a month for rent. 


She refuses to move out because we live in an expensive city and she wants luxury. I kid you not, she will kill herself before you make her live in a basement apartment or a bachelor. She also doesn't want to move out because she knows she is ""comfortable"" in the sense she can trash the kitchen and my mom will clean it, and my mom pays for groceries, toiletries, etc. She knows she can pull this behaviour on us, because when other people are over like my boyfriend, she ""behaves"" and won't do stuff like bang on the door if someone is in the washroom and she needs it and generally just respect your privacy. 


I have been tormented all my life by my sister. My mind is fucked because sometimes she can be nice, but then she pulls this and I can no longer take it. My mind is in a constant state of confusion. Last weekend, she was trying to cut herself and saying all this stuff about how she wants to die. I was trying so hard to comfort her, but my mom was telling me ""she does this all the time, and ends up verbally abusing me"". 


I am so stressed out that I just want to die. No one can live in peace.  I just want to be feel comfortable in my own home. When I was little, it was like I normalized this behaviour and it didn't phase me as much as it does now. Now that I am older and understand things more, I know this isn't right. I have recurring suicidal thoughts and every time she has an outburst I climb into a darker hole. I can't take this anymore.
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mentalhealth,TheRealDiscoNinja,2019/03/30,"How do I stop my intrusive thoughts? So, this is my first time posting here, and I'm not 100% sure this is where this belongs. If not, I'll take it down. Also, mobile, so bear with. 

So I've recently learned the name of something Ive had all my life in one form or another, (And everyone has in their lives to a small extent, it's normal in small amounts.) Intrusive thoughts. Thoughts that just pop into your head that go against everything your normal thought process stands for. Always wierd, sometimes violent. One of my recent examples was ""what If I drove to the store, bought a crowbar, and ripped up every tile in my house?"" This was an actual thought that I really just couldn't get out of my head, and even though the real me would never do it, the intrusive thoughts sometimes win. I've found myself doing things like chucking things at random walls in my house, dumping glasses of water on the floor at 2:00 AM, etc. for no other reason than that my subconscious told me to. And it's not always just weird things, my thought have run to violence before. I could be out in public walking in the park while I walk past someone, and my subconscious just tells me to punch them in the face as hard as I can. I've had even worse things pop into my head, but I don't want this post to get taken down or something, so I'm leaving them out. I obviously never act on these thoughts, so untill now I've always just writen them off as ""unimportant"". But I'm beginning to think there's really something wrong with me. Is there a way to stop these thoughts? Are they just normal? Is this the kind of thing to see a therapist about?",4.047229166666668,5.4628049312500035,4.323125000000001,87.81604166666668,71.5625,7.708333333333335,26.770833333333336,8.212053250817874,1.5789895833333332,1278,43,261,19,24,399,170,320,0.078,0.904,0.017,-0.9416,0,0,3,0,0,0,47.0,0,2,5,2,22,8,2,0,13,0,22,6,4,2,5,59,47,25,0,9,15,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,23,13,1,2,13,0,2,6,8,4,0,3,18,2,32,4,46,25,5,49,0,0,1,0,11,26,0,5,14,181,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.07991937261577016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06549276726640822,0.20443386333058414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587583834498985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968806596358565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538785681034624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09133647709413367,0.10818400561552102,0.0,0.06900150810478611,0.07825581346377626,0.07360347982148414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966129742121385,0.0,0.08979551246899334,0.0,0.0,0.08557529883998098,0.0,0.046543786088183665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07336336361843705,0.0,0.25214894677547983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899560920169645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852828180833297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671678811550612,0.0,0.0,0.05784606636326761,0.04001059444084123,0.0,0.07231629299301565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263275789354369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407241546092905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109906567857127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781796739557447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15686881456992632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321638241690924,0.10493025560620337,0.08420345501653506,0.16172623679955878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652610725426296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939081435910407,0.1891442592501111,0.16199587529310827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369386288457946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718667745442619,0.0,0.06157613174406632,0.0,0.07158133195327236,0.0,0.0,0.09508838940275713,0.2720426665572326,0.05247610321541999,0.08046309914320518,0.5851515390488145,0.047754628642237805,0.0,0.0,0.07825581346377626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830479985602101,0.06500579430365443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345974140463283,0.05817707115863713,0.08954119310905552,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_incognita_,2019/03/30,I wish I could cry I miss crying to relieve stress. There’s something so beautiful in crying. I feel so sad and I still can’t cry. Maybe it’s because I’m on antidepressants. I feel so dull.,-0.551916666666667,1.6635489750000012,1.7600000000000016,94.31833333333331,96.75,4.666666666666667,19.166666666666668,6.42735559955562,0.1306666666666665,149,5,33,2,6,50,28,40,0.448,0.359,0.193,-0.9099,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,7,4,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,6,1,3,6,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906710041402754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594953834275666,0.0,0.8582126657151777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19752237599610176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622822735642814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036920385075864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15598521653268027,0.0,0.22374186013023825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22461183416538136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-_-bmo-_-,2019/03/30,What's wrong with me? My cat died and I just found his body on the side of the road a few minutes ago. I cared for this cat his entire life and he meant something to me. I just... didn't care. My girl friend broke up with me a week before and I didn't care. One time my father handed me an axe and dared me to kill him. One of my biggest regrets in life is that I even fucked that up even though he wasn't expecting me to swing. I spend all day thinking about my past and how it's made me so angry and insecure. But maybe the abuse I suffered didn't have to do anything with how I turned out at all. My biological mother was a drug addict and maybe that fucked me up. Maybe I did this all myself and I'll never be able to have a functioning relationship with a woman or a friend or a family member. I'm drowning. ,1.8029142857142841,3.0332763485714267,3.377571428571432,93.11092857142859,76.94285714285716,6.371428571428572,19.92857142857143,6.868970318607317,0.039057142857143116,631,13,150,6,14,209,100,175,0.247,0.705,0.048,-0.9896,0,0,2,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,9,13,3,1,11,0,11,8,2,3,4,30,22,15,3,2,5,2,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,7,13,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,8,0,2,9,1,27,5,20,12,4,16,0,3,0,2,12,10,2,2,6,102,34,1,0.13884410454979249,0.16450755993551264,0.0,0.15136056811883405,0.0,0.0,0.12307692130949788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142568677600722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814610662036465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422449999200685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246824541890213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954296114843319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409825986558653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101508119196042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834104431704023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088986496068206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522353941596761,0.2145412215149536,0.2567182747043781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15361043021882764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961393943030202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131377648835016,0.0,0.0,0.4184626948089744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708513289633786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881687171132164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325424083306775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490666073308863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688897499164536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896569591628355,0.13641362777014793,0.0,0.08096111391769566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102251566188615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137236572256178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518042322125138,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ApexChild,2019/03/30,"I over-stress. A lot. This has been happening to me for quite a while and I’ve never been able to figure out why or what to do to change it so any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 
So I get really stressed about small things. For example the latest case of this was my sister was in town and she wanted to meet up early one morning after I got off somewhat late. As soon as I had agreed to doing that I was immediately stressed and overcome with an overwhelming feeling of depression. I then started to stress about not being able to sleep and being tired the next day. And when the moment finally comes that I’m home from work I’m still laying in bed stressed because when I wake up in the morning I’ll be tired and exhausted all day. 
I also have a good amount of stress in my life coming from other places such as career and school all at the same time and I don’t think those are helping either. 

Again if you could offer any tips as to how to calm myself down in this cycle I would greatly appreciate it. ",4.025161812297736,5.250213781553403,4.83104854368932,84.886928802589,71.37864077669903,7.6292556634304205,24.898381877022647,8.021203637495839,1.2833977993527506,813,23,165,11,15,263,131,206,0.122,0.7829999999999999,0.095,-0.7849,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,2,12,12,0,6,9,0,19,6,2,1,3,31,30,23,0,5,5,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,0,11,12,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,8,0,1,7,1,16,4,36,16,7,35,0,2,0,0,8,14,0,5,19,123,27,3,0.2069328602936168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274206680701106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072144102980075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630721754768101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945376393627693,0.17825433605528745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260952533218034,0.0,0.0,0.13345457576097833,0.0,0.0891154846746008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052315735900606786,0.0,0.0,0.11334241682667776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054056939332287,0.0,0.0,0.08678273267561389,0.08275155602667515,0.22814420901088425,0.0,0.0,0.09149502247568968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870273429732438,0.0,0.1037852655743102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671463988608036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308139947855308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879634589162605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797996894323101,0.0,0.11003772226218864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011153079973624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081003977963212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004928439575737,0.0,0.0,0.06628324456140648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471355111764524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354115236526176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323407179670438,0.0,0.08262842476827757,0.0,0.7111226769395519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873849870802821,0.06629711064673438,0.0,0.0,0.060332107473594375,0.23783888185402766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061027181223356264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336236003376726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532479342611212,0.0,0.0,0.14699916675877492,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Scriptplayer,2019/03/30,"Is it possible to experience schizophrenia without having it chronically? There was a period of time where events were synchronizing very oddly. For better or worse. Life felt more dreamlike and in the hands of god or the devil. Songs, numbers, time, names of people, karma, would align bizarrely. At first, I was just thankful for the good luck. But it wouldn't stop. I would even think at one point mentally disabled people at the mall were somehow trying to communicate with me symbolically. I had a friend a while back say that we are the universe experiencing itself, but at the time it didn't mean anything. As these things started happen, I started recalling that saying. I'm not sure if I fried my brain with stress, but I went to work one day and I felt like I was about to die. Two people talked about wiring (in a power supply and headphones), a helicopter was hovering over the building, and I was covering a shift for someone and didn't really need to be there since activity was low. I started think maybe the FBI was investigating my sanity and thought I was dangerous for knowing too much. ",5.777602627257799,7.530917827586207,5.963862068965515,76.40901149425287,67.76847290640394,8.960131362889985,29.789490968801307,9.3871,2.715162495894909,881,33,155,18,15,280,129,203,0.111,0.8079999999999999,0.081,-0.8838,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,4,10,11,1,1,14,0,20,4,2,0,1,34,35,14,1,5,9,0,3,1,1,3,2,3,0,0,9,9,0,1,7,2,0,1,5,4,0,4,17,7,15,7,25,14,2,24,2,1,0,0,6,10,0,5,14,111,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321290517818257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578705894048296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167433998372255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535797445648613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872480900805718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278163711577535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086731291698978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345752268165305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26418808813461464,0.0,0.0,0.11702164058286235,0.0,0.0,0.10629048145791983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539179286938345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165755048943187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560789079280528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971736364047862,0.06721243467304355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821307000847322,0.14986003905508222,0.0,0.0,0.13864373471679328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113381398445133,0.10201048181101276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18644942352851146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28613256491342465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005330534387885,0.15509569264431686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813438101482783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218811101307488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380386608881105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165672653006081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921299174341915,0.0,0.0,0.11501926894791485,0.15759225772261765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296632701547492,0.0,0.0,0.1105779667156402,0.0,0.12666102633466195,0.0,0.0,0.09139904172777956,0.17630563647222586,0.0,0.10921957086002697,0.240664121801364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340472627481752,0.0,0.1343912621606442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351418641810875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275338565255851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261786191248887,0.0,0.10015659443963852,0.0,0.14020117659791634,0.1954593601702405,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nastynellie3,2019/03/30,"Dealing with Trauma CW: sexual assault, trauma

Hey everyone,
So this weekend I had a pretty terrible experience, don’t know whether or not to call it rape but let’s just say it involved sex and I’m now having extreme trauma responses daily. This isn’t the first time either; I was sexually assaulted at 13 by an ex-boyfriend, which I have PTSD from, and it’s now just doubled down. This is my first year living away from home, in another country, and while my parents were incredibly supportive of my mental health diagnoses in the past, I’m finding it hard to work up the courage to tell them, especially since it won’t be in person. I tell them (almost) everything, and even though it’s only been a week since it happened, I feel like it’s eating me up inside. I just feel like giving up on life, not in a suicidal sense, but in a dropping-out-and-moving-home kinda sense. Has anyone else been in this sort of situation? I just know that they’ll want me to press charges, and be angry at me for getting myself into that situation, and I frankly don’t want to deal with either. I just feel incredibly isolated and alone right now. ",8.694434389140271,6.672471316742081,8.94031221719457,70.3274819004525,62.07692307692307,12.0979185520362,37.484615384615395,10.793553405168565,3.890934479638009,895,34,169,18,10,298,134,221,0.14800000000000002,0.736,0.116,-0.7477,1,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,3,3,11,11,3,0,8,0,17,6,0,0,0,34,30,14,1,2,13,1,5,2,0,2,3,1,1,1,15,10,1,0,6,1,0,0,6,7,0,2,5,6,19,4,28,20,3,27,0,0,0,2,14,16,0,4,13,116,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291324191760824,0.13356119305122846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522329878602612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017015977913834,0.13213231161463052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115992022910327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168013879722246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658992681375834,0.0,0.1308892602717206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195582999607833,0.10772753621754223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517528560505871,0.0,0.0,0.12322452333151653,0.1158987852160219,0.12614528823951127,0.0,0.0,0.19561452805941928,0.1842546856282943,0.0,0.0,0.11786491986851415,0.2193825554789615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737502903467922,0.12370789087872534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403678920730748,0.0,0.1155206892848059,0.0,0.0,0.13707590978948306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935499804119618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174346055894393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186789403339566,0.09108657413057776,0.12600434932455107,0.0,0.11387193281546434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995894037983474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807807395058077,0.0,0.0,0.1431921655207124,0.0,0.12310463122167055,0.0,0.11260081149123838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311962511272892,0.0,0.0,0.15074454586677974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012909488129753,0.0,0.10255226796707688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335013627902608,0.2899075149617059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105869538215368,0.14633956834694872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254292714869033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670019770847527,0.0,0.07519621981870048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212507987378515,0.0,0.10344201665896277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388267642974618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304447321620713
mentalhealth,cntbeseez,2019/03/30,"I have been told I have anxiety but for the first time I experienced my first anxiety attack It was random and sudden. I was walking my dog and took my son along with me as we were on our way back home. Suddenly, I felt this pain/pressure in my jaw and my face started tingling on my left side. I started feeling this pressure in my head like something was wrong and my heart started racing. I could feel my legs getting wobbly as I managed to keep myself on my feet because I didn’t want my son freaking out. 

We got home and I took a seat. Trying to catch my breath I could hear the irritability in my voice as I asked my son to get me some water.. I felt he could sense it too and he kissed me on my forehead. :) 

As I practiced my breathing I felt myself calming but my heart was still racing. 5 minutes later and it returned. Heavy breathing and just the feeling of everything being over. I almost called the ambulance but remembered last time how I looked silly and was calm by the time they arrived..

This is my first “attack”. I have been told I have anxiety but I have never experienced such. I thought I was doing better and I refuse to take medicine. I was prescribed Sertaline but I never took it. I feel like I can beat this on my own mentally. Exercising, eating better I even quit smoking. It’s been months since the diagnosis with this being my first attack.

Anyone else can relate?

Rant over. ",1.7225,4.288190724637683,3.0795471014492786,88.34584239130434,83.78260869565217,5.334057971014492,23.11775362318841,6.770275591412753,0.8346362318840571,1104,40,213,13,32,358,140,276,0.13,0.753,0.117,-0.7003,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,3,0,1,8,7,14,3,1,7,0,26,16,11,1,2,43,51,20,0,4,6,3,7,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,10,16,2,2,9,1,0,5,3,6,0,4,22,12,57,8,25,24,2,39,0,0,1,1,15,13,0,3,22,155,67,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448799145100484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21655561247973185,0.0,0.0,0.06597876304577911,0.09668305457222584,0.0,0.0,0.08821393863450888,0.3220446452992529,0.0,0.07255707826103247,0.0,0.057521029933362326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669076481940075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963521934176201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22601654105748895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655392051145772,0.07882574016739452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062323943975010135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480475698159652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908451698693096,0.0674108611591723,0.27180142795916545,0.0,0.0,0.3210505488684454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859849614927828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546837722432448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684066662030504,0.0,0.10635066986097023,0.2236343020776535,0.0,0.0,0.1893017110195224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387157612250076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691606058784461,0.0,0.0,0.1025225047676279,0.0,0.0,0.09219913912967867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923870336204411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509276853899336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753173168967107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145552624110662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040577971785553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036356180865974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689157807022913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805563460138885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264300084304685,0.0,0.0,0.2003656543054738,0.0,0.07535608306693294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094703811677773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749113646782246,0.1650663672386287,0.0,0.0,0.18033020338952985,0.3145125678929128,0.06406430145756457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055656020921429294,0.0748986406850282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316793635128084,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TCfromWI,2019/03/30,Anger Just need to get this off my chest! I have been having anger issues again and that makes me more angry then anything. Letting my wife down and me mentally. Going to call the Doc tomorrow to make an appointment ASAP. I’m not depressed but know this isn’t normal and I don’t feel right or well. That being said I hope you all have a great day or night wear every you maybe,2.2983116883116885,4.265230259740259,3.105194805194806,92.39207792207796,77.57142857142857,5.9584415584415575,18.79220779220779,6.868970318607317,0.053290909090909284,298,6,63,3,7,94,61,77,0.083,0.747,0.17,0.8518,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,3,6,2,0,3,0,8,2,2,2,1,16,18,7,0,3,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,2,2,9,3,5,14,2,9,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,3,5,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19549848422902488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24258381521183955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321191208091708,0.0,0.20461724485891333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001615548155585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012168010796552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411964129540926,0.0,0.13501555033066592,0.0,0.0,0.2619199101524289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23595894461348765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24795960262660915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056133505701775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24292970170567926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31715739507700497,0.0,0.2386693075738132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394129886723152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761538981632699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229417738622624,0.2327665118810852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20288204619279565,0.2259818737639664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21360244939756445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ulaffuluuse17,2019/03/30,"I'm stuck Hi folks. I've been struggling with anxiety/depression for basically my whole life now (I'm 18) and I've been thinking about getting therapy for a bit now but I can't afford it. I can't afford it because I don't have a job currently because of my my anxiety so it's an annoying ass cycle I can't seem to break. So, it would be nice if anyone could tell me about ways I could get help as I try to get another job. Thanks. ",0.7281796690307338,2.5088142765957464,3.5471631205673795,88.23388888888887,81.76595744680851,7.582033096926714,24.274231678487002,8.515128840125781,1.633226004728133,338,13,77,8,9,120,60,94,0.152,0.7290000000000001,0.119,-0.2606,5,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,1,3,0,11,2,1,0,0,9,20,6,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,10,2,9,13,2,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,3,45,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21593403345489864,0.1575347723850432,0.0,0.0,0.14399002592883134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510642579283026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248206348461113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3288343713934335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773659530578256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227674943048193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802956214736814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087046089277424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454534205435079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18746961217512115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215281225900176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17999062398260587,0.18959133579383566,0.2354972367295809,0.0,0.0,0.13195069586138491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398119637615322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345649291406902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299118650631268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628572916412266,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,forgotlastaccount2,2019/03/30,Do you feel like today didn’t happen everyday? Like the whole day had so many interactions and you performed so poorly that the entire hadn’t happened?,4.095238095238095,7.0684704285714295,4.485714285714288,79.5259523809524,76.85714285714286,6.590476190476192,23.619047619047624,7.793537801064563,1.5848190476190482,124,4,20,2,3,39,22,28,0.0,0.8170000000000001,0.183,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,2,2,0,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220232854824448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17407138722448942,0.24594391619154315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6088671109104827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3363822529057949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34903199727641765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32632420195916123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38436103368601904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lifeblogger1,2019/03/30,Life can be so hard sometimes Life is so hard when all you want to do is get better. But the depression doesn't let you. ,2.0984615384615397,3.1811742307692303,3.0953846153846136,96.0246153846154,75.92307692307692,6.7384615384615385,20.69230769230769,7.1686216300943375,0.1478307692307692,94,2,23,1,2,30,21,26,0.235,0.632,0.133,-0.4994,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,0,1,3,9,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,7,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,16,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888627698666971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281311408638286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064187897049268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5851624188355969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339840521947403,0.461393022944049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3230287351631263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926448852054477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,calrayers,2019/03/31,"21 M. Started smoking 2 years ago @ 19; 36 days clean: will I return to my old self? It all started going to my mates-friends house, I was so anti-drugs; I tried weed and was hooked since.

I 100% abused it, it was like the love of my life no matter how much I hated the taste of it; I adored the feeling. It went from a gram a week to taking days off to smoke up.

2 years has gone and I’ve gotten no-where in life, it was all about when I was next getting high. I had a carpet-fitting career then I stopped sleeping on certain-days and that really messed me up.

I still continued to smoke it until I started noticing changes, like I’m not my old-self. I lost spirituality in what I believe in, I lost my social-status. I lost money, I gained weight. I lost my brain in certain parts.

I believe all drugs effect you in different ways, but weed at first was like the best thing ever and it complimented my life, then I became “dependant” (I think). I’m just glad I stopped 2 years in.

I noticed working on a building site I’d feel “sketchy”, like maybe I said the wrong thing to one of the guys, that they can see through me and who I am, I’d feel slightly on-edge speaking to someone and when it was a 3-way convo I’d become irrelevant and if I was talking I may lose track of conversation, I’d lose train of thought so quickly. It’s like I forgot how to connect with people.

I miss my old self, I want to have the same drive as before but I can’t find it; I am not depressed, but I can relate. I’m just disappointed in myself.

Will my brain repair itself and go back to how it was? Around the same time as I started smoking I found a great burst of confidence and energy in my life I just felt so good, then weed took over my life, my friends, family and myself saw it coming. But like I said; I just want to go back to normal; over a month in I’m 100% feeling a difference BUT I know I’m not all there, just yet. I just need to know if I’ll find my bearings again. Because I miss it. I miss the old me.

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mentalhealth,teldksksks47382,2019/03/31,Help diagnose me? I got surgery and have some implants in my wrist and now a year later I've had the urge to cut my hand off and that's not normal like a real urge to grab a knife and chop. Is this common with surgery patients?,1.8047959183673468,3.1433665714285723,2.914030612244897,95.9890051020408,77.16326530612245,5.716326530612244,22.45408163265306,5.985473137389443,0.08871020408163321,178,5,42,1,4,57,39,49,0.085,0.7879999999999999,0.127,0.4678,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,4,0,3,3,2,0,0,9,4,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,4,1,5,2,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4526457130811717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566794431203267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989213520800065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21787627354963096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.436951616545846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5076065056919588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28718723536496155
mentalhealth,TEHBOOTY,2019/03/31,"Help/Question (sharing my story but please help me I need help so bad) I've (19yr male) been reading these posts for a little bit and I've come across many posts that reference something called BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I researched it after finding a post discussing it and I have many symptoms that have been present in BPD victims. I feel a lot better but I will tell my story now.

​

I was always a kid who isolated myself. I had a childhood bully (my next door neighbor) and instead of going out to play with the other children I would isolate myself inside and play video games because video games obviously don't hurt you. I had a period of respite where I did have friends and the bullying died down a bit. However, I started highschool and decided that I was going to grow out my hair and donate it (started growing my hair out summer before sophomore year, I was 15). I was bullied constantly because of my long hair. I was called ugly and I was tormented every day. I went through a period of severe depression and had other friends who were going through it as well. I finally broke down at my cousin's wedding and I had basically an emotional breakdown where I was sobbing so hard I couldn't speak. I was 16 at the time and I had been isolating myself for many many months. The thing that hurt the most was that before this breakdown my own father used to tell me that I never smiled anymore. He knew something was wrong and so did my mother, yet they did absolutely nothing. My ""friends"" did the same thing. They sat around and looked on as I was tormented by another bully. I was so angry at my family and friends that I started lashingout at them, isolating myself further. I also began to develop an eating disorder where I would eat hoards of junk food and then feel horrible afterwareds. But I would never make myself throw up.  


Fast forward to junior year I finally cut my hair after 20 months of growing it out. I found a few friends over the summer leading into senior year and I began to get my life back together. Senior year was great and I had very few problems and excellent grades. Summer after senior year I found a girl that I loved and we've been dating ever since past July (around 9 months). I began my first college semester isolating myself and focusing on grades and not really doing a whole lot to make new friends. I finished with excellent grades though which is what I wanted. Then came the next semester. I went to a winter intercession course where I had to leave my family and friends and girlfriend early to come down to school and do a class. I was alone, I had absolutely no friends here because it was the winter and not suring regular semester, and I was thinking about bad things. I was all alone and I couldn't seem to figure out why I was there in the first place. My grades have dropped significantly as I am many weeks into the spring semester and there are ony about 5 more weeks left. I began to be a huge dick to my girlfriend. 

​

I am paranoid that she is cheating on me, I see her fornicating with other men in visions and dreams and I get upset and confused. Now that I think about it it's almost like the scene in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 where Ron has to smash the locket with the sword of gryffindor (NERD PLUG SORRY BUT IF YOU LOOK UP THIS SCENE ITS ALMOST EACTLY WHAT GOES ON INSIDE MY HEAD). I have massive mood swings where she will reference an ex of hers or bring up another guy and I will have attacks of insecurity and I'll be really upset to where I begin to cry. I even have mood swings anyway where I'll just be sitting in my room and I'll all of the sudden think of something horrible and I'll just be upset. I have a problem with anger. I am not a violent person on the outside and I would never hurt a fly but I've had bouts here and there of angry and violent thoughts. I've been depressed too because I have been further isolating myself, and I think of humanity of a terrible plague on the earth and I don't trust a whole lot of people. I don't have very many friends and I am struggling with feeling loved or appreciated.  I have an extremely distorted view of self and almost feel out of body sometimes. more recently, I've struggled with suicidal thoughts and thoughts of beginning self harm. I have a lot of difficulty trusting people because of my past trauma and I think there's a whole lot of people who will upset me and not care, including my girlfriend. I have never really thought of myself as good enough to date her because she's pretty and smart and going to an IVY league colleg next year. 

​

I am struggling, my grades are slipping at a very fast rate. It is hard to focus, it is hard to trust, it is hard to make friends, it is hard to control my imagination as I think about all the horrible things that can come with being alive. I am very lost and I need help.

I apologize once again for the long post but I needed to tell my story. I want to get better and fast so I can resume a normal life. I am going to most likely seek professional help in the next week hopefully. If any of you have experienced these things please share how you overcame them. I bleieve this is BPD because the symptoms line up pretty well but is there anything else that this alligns with? How can I begin to feel better about myself, the surrounding world, my girlfriend, and my parents? I don't know what to do and I have nowhere else to turn. Every single day gets harder and harder. I'm anxious, I'm paranoid that the ones I love will abandon me or treat me wrong, and I am extremely sick mentally. Please someone help. Anything helps, even a small comment will help. How do I overcome this and does anyone have a similar story? if so, please share. I'd like to know I'm not so alone in the world.

​

P.S. - please disregard the name I made this account years ago.",4.198918971373118,5.927027339737992,4.902321688500732,82.57504488112569,71.67248908296943,7.674041727316837,28.093401261523532,8.309216665352881,1.9946009704027168,4684,176,876,74,90,1507,425,1145,0.18600000000000005,0.652,0.162,-0.9893,2,3,3,0,0,0,118.0,0,4,4,10,49,75,7,9,56,0,101,18,7,10,10,175,172,87,3,18,20,5,14,3,15,10,5,1,3,11,49,78,3,3,27,8,2,18,16,35,2,3,55,20,141,38,118,100,24,158,0,9,4,4,75,57,2,19,82,612,190,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033242876657103314,0.0,0.11265720754930135,0.11652094138798147,0.0,0.029989989785453718,0.03120430814467296,0.1625317298143197,0.18227403586712726,0.025502351717424432,0.07864732617900763,0.0,0.04236609660223081,0.03719147774594611,0.02622196778006709,0.0,0.061721189021681076,0.06676869130311032,0.0,0.0426634466554077,0.0,0.028836390386047336,0.06262448443402567,0.1600242512548552,0.0,0.06382214322734557,0.0,0.0,0.09950126611543136,0.08188399724495846,0.04165578709793477,0.1416957334619343,0.0,0.0765865861893347,0.04289180240902984,0.038235347165643085,0.0,0.0,0.096912838725306,0.0,0.040525871527585786,0.04206119650027484,0.0,0.0,0.04119371069246889,0.048370816905369686,0.0,0.06460008985152828,0.0,0.03892070607753534,0.0,0.08596009011694175,0.0,0.032817874224079925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674693115825466,0.0626554946922907,0.042184215589724114,0.0,0.03874914377597695,0.0,0.04953886297339342,0.0339223145880399,0.0631933756845491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070628010934947,0.0,0.09480959600254683,0.0,0.0,0.08216226773302407,0.0342757530735508,0.06379762790005651,0.0453470439839166,0.08223706568300516,0.289736178351071,0.0,0.07837208428401551,0.0,0.10656502447690222,0.03145453536428813,0.0,0.041345610291590416,0.0,0.037132447571164656,0.0,0.0,0.16797019101313326,0.0,0.03848742720678072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20109208025916955,0.0,0.0,0.03724751800321948,0.0,0.0,0.1204386101193224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041219761226060865,0.0,0.0,0.03970874492495708,0.04074556255144126,0.0,0.052976932011632005,0.05496411445143839,0.03758642240544336,0.0,0.06637541383161877,0.06298374296748015,0.0,0.04093739066345083,0.15941245706037285,0.10153988582167506,0.035484889687321414,0.07509776204289953,0.2281242185614087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03779275933100994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980017959307574,0.0,0.0,0.08342081081844233,0.11569408226358563,0.03621924734262817,0.15953336888983807,0.0,0.0367435735739502,0.03598376520472234,0.0,0.0,0.039937945208586234,0.025412032520662733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041641052426202495,0.040610542836890584,0.07159897867273213,0.07799659454231232,0.0654898440496226,0.03918115598050851,0.20582729668744013,0.0,0.0,0.14366454016125524,0.07630515191171469,0.0,0.07176787033287077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03751171571241065,0.0,0.07207339279956952,0.0,0.037028273442236484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03795358817590802,0.02988389375852605,0.03414001836924038,0.07824462687125418,0.04236609660223081,0.0,0.031021683964432063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03177495623858336,0.08661161590277587,0.03709000892849575,0.041979934244242435,0.07963140696931133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761434167665015,0.0,0.041020627827088436,0.0,0.03534478332569475,0.07795697494466994,0.0,0.0,0.09833406818994876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124571874602153,0.14417694030327408,0.036845099422884886,0.11908822174130927,0.02186746544642364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04079093632809375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03238931336899209,0.0,0.1237708818712412,0.04423879199905136,0.0,0.09024448557861052,0.0,0.06743682544012174,0.06952865711634905,0.033839331452635193,0.12560748174849728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656014962372964,0.08200415339894324,0.18227403586712726,0.16904845842851468
mentalhealth,spooklov,2019/03/31,Is this a problem ? Whenever I do something embarrassing I fixate on it so much where it drives me crazy and I hate myself for it and I can’t just get over it sometimes I think of something that happened years ago and I still get embarrassed when I know i will never see those people again,2.162126436781609,4.556470155172416,3.235172413793105,89.08540229885055,80.20689655172413,5.935632183908046,23.459770114942533,7.1686216300943375,0.9376459770114942,231,8,46,3,6,74,44,58,0.244,0.7559999999999999,0.0,-0.9169,0,0,2,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,8,11,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,1,10,0,4,10,1,10,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,6,37,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568072448936517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027192750067023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25618641392465713,0.0,0.0,0.2860250932103132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592150616931786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21296753902217186,0.0,0.2234394365376189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008459412433595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772099003671989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23085849344454396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4460602830336246,0.2865270386873287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23135990632990755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18563216413948488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18656142405804466
mentalhealth,funderwood50,2019/03/31,I get super petty over trivial stuff and wish death upon people. Long story short everytime I end up in a super petty fight over the internet with someone I end up harassing them for a long ass time. Months sometimes even years. I hate people am super sensitive and wish harm onto people for trying to argue with me online. I end up losing friends over small stuff and I can't keep any kind of relationship for longer than a year. I don't see myself as a bad person but I probably am one. ,3.4725,5.278411958762888,4.9531829896907205,81.14668170103094,73.74226804123711,7.32422680412371,22.434278350515466,8.07648339933343,1.2928154639175262,388,10,71,6,8,130,66,97,0.227,0.643,0.13,-0.705,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,0,1,4,1,12,4,0,5,0,4,1,1,0,0,9,10,5,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,0,1,11,5,18,10,0,20,0,1,1,1,6,11,1,0,9,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675015522667927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106974424157458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171066970885265,0.0,0.0,0.10368222842267784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128050917213733,0.0,0.08201432024248215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549828869761733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952890910097004,0.0,0.16346802052182244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27784048342957984,0.0,0.17561778805278647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529802763764686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637208859262556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32648552050418866,0.1370667908499515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924840982355527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685352018599637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250908282047028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300661634558786,0.0,0.15525486646671152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.359403605136149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915349045721468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657749034826584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36103300016271694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021768633959793
mentalhealth,yokesbesh,2019/03/31,"My sister just tried to commit suicide, I can’t see her until tomorrow night. I need to talk to someone My sister’s friends called me and said that my younger sister was trying to jump off the roof of a parking deck tonight. Thank god she was  restrained by the security guard, and was taken to the hospital via ambulance. They found oxy and percocet in her car. She’s stable right now, and does not want our parents to know for the moment, which I understand. My friends told me that for the last several weeks she hasn’t been leaving the house and she’s been reluctant to hang out with them.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to react when I come go see her tomorrow. I’ve had depression myself and some suicidal thoughts (which I’m on medication for) but I’ve never attempted.

How should I approach the situation when I see her tomorrow? Should I text her in the meantime? What should I do afterwards? I am so lost.

I just really need to talk to someone about this anonymously. I don’t want to talk to my friends about it because I don’t want them knowing about my sister’s private matters.",4.210736301369863,5.503274968036532,5.050408105022832,83.23259845890414,71.00913242009132,8.762671232876713,30.12585616438357,9.188382445141503,2.5230020547945213,874,36,175,18,16,284,118,219,0.08199999999999999,0.8320000000000001,0.087,-0.2626,1,0,0,0,0,2,21.0,1,0,3,2,11,7,0,0,9,0,18,1,0,3,2,37,41,13,2,8,4,5,0,0,3,3,1,1,0,0,8,9,0,3,7,0,0,6,8,2,0,0,12,4,36,5,28,26,1,26,0,2,3,0,27,6,0,1,14,117,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970779872234972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351675462497484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263493475744248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262016985761612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144256789108576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14336748334403235,0.30306587215084696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431179235231868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087516129314218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874408702178937,0.1065837987072636,0.0,0.13845199313374085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273589713703316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131723169516562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390821087350285,0.10084728385047112,0.0,0.0,0.12270588658369627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518934596119226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376580443316704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166512636336114,0.12437914030945192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125874157909584,0.0,0.0,0.14771734858305402,0.0,0.0,0.14697550782007068,0.0,0.0,0.22157869916479184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286052238265948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152907717010419,0.0,0.1203827909050442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380585995601688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494320400716814,0.0,0.17754982662108956,0.0,0.0,0.13612187164370249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313702789274547,0.0,0.10488477975737537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,burnercentury,2019/03/31,"I can’t feel emotions anymore and I’m taking risks with my life I don’t really know how to put it in words, I really don’t feel anything anymore. Recently someone semi-close to me passed and I wasn’t sad at all, I just didn’t care(not that I didn’t love him). I match the emotions of people around me but I don’t actually feel it. If people around me cry I cry but I don’t actually know why or care. If I get the opportunity I drink heavily, I enjoy it. It seems like it’s the only place I can feel anything. I feel hollow like a shell of who I was before, I don’t want to live anymore. I’m not suicidal or going to kill myself but I just don’t care. I take risks where I can die easily a lot. I speed everywhere, I played Russian roulette(it later turned out to not have bullets in it but I was under the notion it did), and I generally have no care for my own life. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t care enough to reach out. I guess something in my head has to care for me to post this. I don’t know what to do anymore.",0.3401076555023934,2.052705618421051,2.9948006379585337,92.05011961722488,82.72807017543859,6.075279106858053,20.012759170653904,7.1686216300943375,0.3035017543859655,803,22,191,11,22,281,105,228,0.138,0.645,0.21600000000000005,0.9577,0,0,2,0,0,2,24.0,0,0,0,1,6,16,1,2,6,0,22,5,1,1,1,39,47,13,3,3,12,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,10,1,0,10,2,0,3,16,5,0,0,6,5,38,11,24,41,4,18,0,1,0,1,3,11,0,7,5,125,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.18246198508476436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708606738807457,0.0,0.0,0.15386563764461164,0.16644862850001998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955156826346729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5719046731395453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053847848076258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702598658776418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915828398293036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103232725465042,0.0,0.09659829646475332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363522021365389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048843723334871886,0.0,0.05313149568778549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298778680873924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959458594744777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343083640326506,0.0,0.2055146683055183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206695388777492,0.09134721966844828,0.0,0.08255178901938326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948032026885431,0.08437674606271198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110198508105295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962588638342093,0.0,0.0976752658876391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953584834159027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398145764607096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978186331246066,0.0,0.09230831411992743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510814160979123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921224429201862,0.07197177997564455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226091164543404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058297586843538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168831041213718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514175964084485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435855488134053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221466527323947,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,damnitjanet6,2019/03/31,"medication concerns? So I'm posting this to see if anyone has any insight on this. My doctor has changed one of my medications recently from fluoxetine to duoxetine, and it's been a few weeks and my anxiety levels and paranoia have been slowly climbing up and up and up. It came to a head the other night when i was coming home and I think I had a hallucination? Half of me is still convinced that it was real. I saw a weird shadowy man walking towards me and then he disappeared. I am also having dizzy spells and fits of being completely convinced that I'm going to die.

I'm diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ptsd, chronic fatigue syndrome (hence the medication swap, the doctor was trying to target two things with one medication) and autism. I'm already on 40mg amitriptylene, 2.5mg olanzapine, 60mg duoxetine right now as well as a few other things. I've previously been on setraline, escitalopram, and one other that I can't remember the name of. I want to fix my medication, namely I would like to change my medication to address my anxiety and paranoia as well as to address my intrusive thoughts better, and maybe to address the hallucination if that's what it was.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions of what I could try? I would like to be able to go to the doctor's with a plan on what I think could help me more. Any help at all, any personal experience on any of these medications or with medicating similar issues, anything at all would be massively helpful! ",7.331036476868326,7.456797110320284,8.350478202846977,66.47454292704627,63.66192170818504,11.722508896797152,37.49132562277581,11.333407214811013,4.521414412811387,1192,56,206,33,16,407,145,281,0.086,0.815,0.099,0.684,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,0,0,12,0,24,15,1,0,2,40,40,24,1,9,5,0,0,2,0,3,14,0,4,2,19,18,0,0,6,0,0,7,1,3,2,5,11,2,21,7,39,21,5,29,0,2,2,0,9,14,0,5,9,150,40,3,0.08102996283442268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894185789254543,0.06479963200336858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755157668161534,0.0,0.18596309933871571,0.0,0.0,0.11331606810861262,0.0,0.06668075521244761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166441729696256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267669085417404,0.0,0.0,0.1714379129783434,0.06980013809860908,0.08495837437233504,0.0,0.0,0.1293916637104031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979098825492057,0.08224370660962108,0.08409630844085347,0.0,0.0,0.2488128014836409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926285208289129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921023904300574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316011901296133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16293802814880948,0.0,0.08127965950226082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457422895387312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917429371876117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140548883442965,0.0,0.0,0.6530333021698668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760411309998857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472399966557713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075223807565127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760430564482823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471969035145214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222983742205013,0.0,0.0,0.08000731277143812,0.0,0.09179115204417317,0.06919914552040192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457038939438085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471063299023999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076654135588218,0.10384145667560182,0.0,0.06432873935585147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002805163623773,0.0,0.0791544995751309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04779357149368773,0.0,0.0649973485337617,0.0,0.14571133579094614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787353818713439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726840822030921,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uktherebel,2019/03/31,"Mental Health Crisis Life's never fair, it never plays soft. I literally have no outlet to unwind. Being a person of color, the college I go to is super white-centered and I feel so ostracized. I've had mental health problems (OCD, Depression, and Dissociation) and I thought the university could be a way to cope with it, but it's just making everything worse. I don't know what to do and I just don't fucking know anything. I don't feel like doing anything, but study. I have migraines and a permanent sensation of heaviness around my head. I have breathing problems and I cannot even gym to cut myself some slack. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's happening. I don't even want to die. Nothing seems to help. I have given up on all my interests and nothing helps. Been two years since I have been numb. I recently broke up and I just miss my ex so much. Death seems like a dismal option and living doesn't offer me much comfort. ",1.8594680851063816,4.258258989361707,3.5791914893617047,86.14400000000002,81.44680851063829,6.313191489361702,22.69787234042553,7.554174236665415,1.1344459574468089,742,25,145,12,20,247,106,188,0.298,0.66,0.041,-0.9936,0,0,0,0,0,2,25.0,0,0,0,1,8,14,2,0,6,0,23,8,2,1,3,35,39,13,2,4,5,1,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,11,0,0,9,3,0,1,11,8,0,1,5,4,22,6,15,31,4,10,0,3,1,1,5,4,1,4,6,98,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269623044892261,0.12276153688938547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010309527780354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877432608891912,0.0,0.14311994444245482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182165228512818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393694099911955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945424407732493,0.09851683112537224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748767836379696,0.0,0.0,0.07837257809382935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194580632896312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152668331849275,0.29316560846284456,0.0,0.0,0.18486488462706566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031481456093184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740387996985453,0.1347433761170302,0.0,0.1217695163284156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205029588381584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779444753651667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20274688161716045,0.0,0.2127162157965367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646403416562233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041023643372399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639061479083066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616105595041408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510806213297497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140735133801576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094783561057009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470968930260072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133785446353964,0.10945976077154533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053336977212474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880401945642839
mentalhealth,almosta_human,2019/03/31,"I wasted another weekend doing nothing productive All i did during the weekend was youtube, videogames and reddit. Tomorrow i have to give my art teacher two drawings that i have not even started. I knew that i had to do them but i procastinated as usual and it beat me. I am just always tired and can't function properly anymore. My father asking me to study everyday makes me feel useless and worthless. I don't know what to do now. ",2.8723159303882184,5.572964397590362,4.213895582329319,81.27685408299868,79.72289156626506,6.5804551539491305,30.908969210174032,7.793537801064563,2.5540639892904955,347,18,59,6,9,114,60,83,0.166,0.8340000000000001,0.0,-0.926,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,11,1,0,1,1,12,18,6,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,1,15,0,5,14,1,7,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,47,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518096033493076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317330413444856,0.0,0.0,0.30012430385450034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829150522614113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998820383690425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301711963887946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903070440623932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631568430174426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020056288891153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2903784183006346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142006899615957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478247989149756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29562224916013097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333004838358091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WellzyBells,2019/03/31,"End the stigma One of my past teachers recently opened up to his students about his struggle with depression and mental health. The school decided to let him go due to this. His students made a petition to have him reinstated!

https://www.change.org/p/carly-hopkins-gmail-com-end-the-mental-health-stigma-in-mongomery-county-public-schools",15.852142857142859,21.975854214285718,8.476476190476191,49.25185714285715,54.47619047619048,9.074285714285717,32.20952380952381,9.3871,4.046146666666667,295,10,30,6,5,74,34,42,0.139,0.861,0.0,-0.7424,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,5,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,6,0,8,2,0,7,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,22,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18255055963949116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754461558972873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204549708891425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505817684192026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673125855058933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20055038579835294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271876018781264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362149553927234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20232841248925948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20927314667518107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4290055185844217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215741386123874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chunkysundae,2019/03/31,"USA: Working through untreated mental illness...resource recommendations? Hey Reddit,
 
Currently in between a fairly significant rock and a hard place and could use any recommendations you might have...

High-level overview (TW: suicide)

Historical:
In my mid-twenties (2013) I finally reached out for help when I realized I had great benefits with an employer. My parents committed suicide (in 2006) and taking on the grave responsibility that came with having younger siblings to rear while I was a legal adult at 19 was a lot. Depression made it difficult to leave the bed or eat. Full-disclosure: parents didn’t do things “right,” — no resources were left behind after their deaths except a lot of pain. To make it work financially, I juggled FT Starbucks, a PT flower shop, and PT stocking shelves at Wal-Mart overnight for a few years, and then a corporate place gave me a chance as a leg-up. I didn’t do great in the new mom role to teenagers, but all of my siblings are alive and have high school diplomas to date. I digress.

From 2013-2017 I worked with psychologists and psychotherapists, and they put me through a barrage of medicinal cocktails. My doctor at the time had a difficult time discerning if I was living with Bipolar II or major depression+anxiety+PTSD because of how cyclical things were/but somehow managed stability unmedicated. Regardless, very small doses of two medications and bi-weekly therapy for years worked to level me out, and I miraculously ended up in a steady dream job, working hard, labeled as a leader in the community, etc. 

...Because I was doing stellar things, I was poached by a different company, and left my employer. All normal, career advancement stuff. Which in theory was good...until I lost my medical coverage, and costs for my medicine skyrocketed—this was in late 2017.

As soon as I couldn’t afford my medicine and the Rx was out, it was like I hit the accelerator and drove off a cliff. With the new job, I didn’t have time built up to take FMLA or even enough sick time to deal with my mental breakdown. Lost that job due to needing the time off. I drained my savings to move for another new job. 

All-in-all, no decisions I made allowed me to affordable my obtain my medicine. I ended up homeless.

Present:
2018 was terrible. I was literally at the mercy of others (my siblings aren’t in any way shape or form able to help me and dealing with their own demons), and the only thing that kept me clawing at the lid of a coffin was a MacBook Pro and free WiFi. Someone threw me the bone of putting together a site for a non-profit (design/build/etc.) using my portfolio of work; word of mouth saw a few more jobs freelance jobs come along. An acquaintance was kind enough to let me live in their basement for three months to keep me out of the women’s shelters while I steamrolled more marketing for small businesses, and I finally was able to pull myself together enough to buy a second-hand blazer and land a full-time job. 

Here’s what I have:
A (sh-t) job and I live in a (sh-tty) apartment, but I have a check coming in this Friday and a pillow for my head. Some food for the week is in the fridge. My clothes are clean. Internet to send this post out. My trusty MacBook. Smart as a whip. Sobriety* (I’ve never touched anything illegal after watching what it did to my parents, and I don’t drink). *Side note: addiction is really tough on the mentally ill/homeless communities, and is a substantial barrier to them getting off the streets. I am working on being grateful for what I have. 

Lacking:
Benefits and access to affordable healthcare and medicine. 
I’ve done the research and there are no sliding scale resources available to me in the area. My income is just above poverty guidelines which disqualifies me from programs that can help. I can’t afford supplemental insurance. 

The problem:
I am sinking again — have legit been in bed for days and haven’t left the apartment. I did manage to take a shower before writing this which is a start... the depression is starting to take over again and I simply don’t know what to do. I’m trying to hang on because employment with benefits may be just around the corner. I met with the director of a University last week who is considering me for a two-year appointment. 

I’m looking for:
-Access to a medical professional that can Rx for Seroquel (Quetiapine) and Vistaril (Hydroxizine). These two helped significantly and I was on them for 24-months successfully. 
-Affordable generic Rx ideas domestically. I can handle about $100 per month. 
-I’d also appreciate any info on psychotherapy. Online resources simply haven’t worked. I’m having a difficult time adjusting to the “where I was” in the Golden Era to “where I am now,” sleeping on the floor of my studio apartment. Also, being aware of my network knowing that I’m mentally ill is difficult. Blacklisting professionally is illegal...but it doesn’t change anything. People talk. 

Thank you in advance. I’ll be posting this to a few other forums for any and all advice. I appreciate you.",5.165651859877208,7.314729159263273,5.765396316359702,75.64709194655113,69.9750812567714,8.866328638497652,32.56668833513904,9.421770625418114,3.298416811845432,4006,187,683,91,75,1295,444,923,0.077,0.8240000000000001,0.099,0.9693,26,0,1,0,0,2,159.0,0,3,6,14,18,25,0,0,66,0,73,20,4,7,5,99,107,50,5,8,10,4,3,1,0,2,13,0,6,2,31,50,4,3,8,5,6,14,15,13,0,3,37,6,81,13,128,60,19,123,1,5,3,0,29,65,0,11,42,461,112,33,0.1047750280904436,0.0,0.0,0.05711012299679252,0.0,0.051192472414687995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378855210975272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250122398061574,0.05493287622791036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622092070747239,0.0466359942982056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580482695592472,0.0,0.044577915929754006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05991735987475001,0.0,0.0,0.05541904352337389,0.09025440928490483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04182716715429464,0.0,0.0,0.03378561264826353,0.10801845330520256,0.09024257816594647,0.0,0.0,0.0547338020632727,0.0,0.053620840474325165,0.0,0.053610615424646464,0.0,0.05131981962942237,0.0,0.053605505425480926,0.0,0.0,0.09279957601218863,0.16239091822181287,0.11685185234871452,0.034601458948456905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477592191016794,0.0,0.0,0.0633471899298975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027370313873724038,0.0,0.0,0.043940161272363096,0.0,0.11551483835805652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938578452561891,0.0,0.053764703208565516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045698553244018,0.1107005697257709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913912672692976,0.0,0.0,0.41589219331085225,0.046564429544265165,0.0,0.054553534270239436,0.05758161533480353,0.04270281601521346,0.059095397682507635,0.05547081321400506,0.17075756188179253,0.05356978247390825,0.0,0.02559389316694896,0.0,0.13877740405704214,0.0,0.043992317665423816,0.0,0.11437432007748052,0.08907598209203385,0.0,0.09914066493337337,0.03496907242089891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832472686366691,0.2111771699311209,0.055574873671783605,0.0,0.061355623292175525,0.12544564171457498,0.05567963671861816,0.0,0.038844677864751785,0.04040448041947293,0.15178856253641326,0.0,0.0,0.051328640841897546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03984306510318511,0.05574400853848754,0.0,0.17451040410874688,0.0,0.0,0.03631890603578232,0.0,0.1094676041265454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034551441781098,0.0,0.0,0.05012777585296488,0.0612382004763524,0.10532784228783693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033560782956332295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044738650754105734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053018961049657004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0524253476813409,0.0,0.044387770646607705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416030415652601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599711699788555,0.11460687505575201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755556342176386,0.042107099385786585,0.0,0.04823138444835408,0.059909687927831835,0.0,0.13921574606970702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832854843739819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03556768322996888,0.0,0.15352496705600466,0.0,0.0,0.09049198383966196,0.0,0.04322518555161642,0.0,0.04158277021103439,0.1260663114028273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051098732576194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012075243590199
mentalhealth,ghost-spice,2019/03/31,"Should I seek professional help? 2 years ago I caught a dangerous disease that almost killed me. I'm still recovering. Since then I've been wearing surgical masks in public, gloves, and I overuse hand sanitizer. If a stranger bumps into me in public I have to go home immediately to shower and put the clothes to wash. I can no longer take public transit. I change my sheets every 3 days because I always feel dirty in them. I had a panic attack over spilled food and I had to clean and disinfect the whole room after it happened to calm me down. I get panic attacks whenever I feel contaminated but I dont spend hours at a time cleaning, I only clean when necessary or if a mess was made. Should I seek professional help?",3.3660819037078054,5.7128638705036,4.624604316546762,80.9506530160487,75.76258992805755,7.442390702822357,26.51964582180409,8.384062270229773,1.956135141117875,574,22,108,11,13,189,97,139,0.149,0.743,0.108,-0.5519,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,2,8,4,2,7,0,9,4,2,1,0,15,18,10,1,4,4,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,6,0,2,5,1,0,2,0,1,3,2,7,0,0,6,3,19,1,13,10,1,20,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,4,9,63,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576284180912556,0.0,0.17595555863153667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462109240255332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998077399236361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071156746964429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858856727783262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332316362879108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059394429939565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480494585602263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769595882402353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21247813513362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180507069605603,0.0,0.09986422788374713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538628546993913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355592914654093,0.0,0.17625884411786574,0.0,0.17304620886366406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944052295737798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626801934120408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364097413793338,0.0,0.4123329345893427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664448519132478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535522006252172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032811459646768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211759011264065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246220855769364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196182162687508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315622187867935
mentalhealth,boopy-cupid,2019/03/31,"Diagnosis help Hi everyone

First time poster here and sorry if I've got the wrong sub, I'm also new to Reddit :) 

I'm hoping to get some insight into reaching a diagnosis. Is there anyone here who might be able to look at my case history and give me an idea of what I should be pursuing? I've been seeing psychiatrists for awhile now and I'm not really any closer to diagnosis. I've been told I exhibit traits of a few disorders but nothing concrete (BPD, OCD, PMDD, ADHD - among others). I'll write a general history but I'm a very open person so I'm happy to answer any questions.

Maternal family history (paternal history unknown): 
      - mother diagnosed with OCD, GAD, (previously) somatoform disorder, bipolar 1 and possible autism spectrum and/or ADHD (diagnosis received late in life and no neurological testing has been pursued)
       - Brother diagnosed GAD and MDD
       - Multiple family members diagnosed with bipolar disorder, 2 schizophrenia 
       - Addictions common throughout the generations 
       - long history of intergenerational trauma

My history
       - cannabis user for 3 years currently 24yrs of age
       - long history of trauma starting in childhood, PTSD misdiagnosed as adjustment disorder at 15 after another major trauma (re-occurring PTSD symptoms since, mainly controlled)
        - history of major depressive episodes starting from 11
        - history of self harm and suicidal ideation from 11 >
        - no history of mania
        - poor executive functions (difficulty with task execution and completion, difficulties with micro processes, poor time management skills, poor organisation skills, slow decision making processes)
        - sensory issues (issues with fabrics, textures, lights and sounds. I find simple tasks like doing the dishes or shopping very difficult)
        - Intrusive thinking and cyclical ruminating from a young age (including violent intrusive thoughts (self not others) ) 
        - issues with anxiety and panic attacks
        - history of Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified 


Medication history
A variety of antidepressants, I respond best to SSRI's and SNRI's however I have severe withdrawals from SNRI's. 
Methylphenidate (ritalin), responds well to low dosages. High dosages cause anxiety issues. No euphoria or mania
Atypical antipsychotic olanzapine, responds well with a reduction in rumination, anxiety and better sleep out comes

I've done therapy for years (CBT, ACT, DBT, Narrative) and seen a few psychiatrists and no one can seems to decide what's wrong with me or what testing to try... so any insight would be much appreciated! And any suggestions of testing I should pursue. I've had difficulty accessing neuropsychiatric testing due to my cannabis usage but the executive function issues have been there since I was a child.

Thank you!
",8.996129413400055,11.696194199541287,9.346672226855716,51.5838712816236,61.133027522935784,13.633472338059494,43.71670836808453,12.615657906274064,7.356658409785933,2205,133,263,91,33,731,257,436,0.203,0.7090000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.9957,2,0,1,0,0,0,84.0,0,1,0,6,10,20,2,1,14,0,20,14,1,3,0,61,41,27,1,5,10,2,0,1,0,4,11,1,0,4,6,28,2,1,12,1,4,3,7,12,2,2,11,5,13,8,46,23,8,36,0,2,3,0,19,12,0,9,22,147,19,5,0.07585259142069012,0.0,0.0,0.0826905209115601,0.1823201489903879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060659289954339425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20632945304904726,0.07953805581387527,0.17408107445746573,0.0,0.0,0.05303789558194315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862932731766756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960261496301381,0.06708545301614131,0.0,0.0,0.09553368354851577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792150594698799,0.0,0.0653402910614733,0.0795299989486497,0.0,0.08507513115506778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533172584274939,0.2309663508224839,0.0,0.0,0.4346682066422242,0.0,0.0,0.0776235364806045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761613764357381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248040169386229,0.0,0.0,0.14301414496733494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932789437295248,0.06452017551312472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03962984831705322,0.07276471745374734,0.0,0.0,0.0606662466252235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074649404053083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05084239312528377,0.0801424274322136,0.0,0.07533873838572186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562834290479883,0.0,0.395851991606294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556502702886502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053576928548065096,0.03705774470576241,0.0,0.0,0.13425431293092127,0.06369707283006605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05063219377833599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641350575899579,0.0,0.08046761261172614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05576038240523615,0.0,0.0,0.07325890546151717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727826072238557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139967902715519,0.0,0.0,0.08899667267835934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623155705770488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551239976553919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733524045677598,0.0,0.08497226207223023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04859311238070328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044469469417262,0.06905335040529742,0.15826159137455334,0.08569183772362507,0.0,0.12549209492449298,0.0,0.07590737125506103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491076595233593,0.10737770923741984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297042364046797,0.0,0.0,0.0788398859246288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983487506311466,0.08674404890845093,0.0,0.0,0.04860327778897617,0.0,0.06021848477134668,0.08846051209557236,0.0,0.0,0.07248040169386229,0.0,0.05149893047977972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517266369616284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640117843443375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053883504628091175,0.16586580235847087,0.0,0.09769316390005307
mentalhealth,KKenzoTenma,2019/03/31,"A Poem i found in the wild that sums up my emotions  at the end of the day

linen and polyester webs cover my doubts
my mind wanders aimlessly, trying to fixate on how to care
i’ve tried to no avail, empty laughs and shallow smiles fill my brain with regret as i lay in purgatory,
at the end of the day

at the end of the week, i find my mind wandering again, wondering about what tv show schedule i’ve missed, mindlessly ignoring deadlines and work i’m trying to care about so much, the break of sunday comes all to late
at the end of the week

at the end of the month, i reconcile with my thoughts, hoping to find meaning in the monotony i’ve been forced to endure, day in and day out, the feelings of regret and doubt fill my eyes to form salty tears 

at the end of the year i look upon my arbitrary results, meaningless numbers i’ve been told to care about fill my mind with numbness, i’ve been told it’s my ticket to the future, my hope for a higher education, but why should i care about school at the end of the year

at the end of my life, i stay alone, hardships clouding my judgement, feeling alone in a world of facades of happiness and plastic feelings of care. I try hard to wonder where i went wrong, what i could’ve improved, what could’ve kept me going. at the end of my life",9.844847328244278,5.75895386641222,9.085251908396943,76.59085496183208,61.862595419847324,12.1593893129771,38.41374045801528,9.120678840339163,3.206288854961832,1011,32,216,11,10,321,128,262,0.113,0.765,0.122,0.8555,0,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,1,8,17,0,2,24,0,4,5,2,2,1,38,28,10,0,5,1,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,11,0,2,11,3,0,6,1,8,0,0,9,6,25,9,52,18,3,51,0,3,2,0,2,20,0,6,23,125,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325157363374498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798060513352203,0.0,0.0,0.40177202390854616,0.0,0.0,0.06788982838088972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12585043643906646,0.0,0.0,0.20330968537555566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865324329895014,0.6282388423217428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954961917371415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406605096264682,0.0,0.0,0.08641363232985128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479085321387708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389717177128482,0.0706003513526791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655681774136496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890372090523184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133493362866316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661824928011074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858497125304897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387339051595301,0.0,0.06290723562878214,0.0,0.057936117676346766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976226746400752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400343841868943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256817241046073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061708333514448,0.0,0.2140335462406973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643696581046987,0.0,0.0,0.07305980293119971,0.07111585322627315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17093718119348514,0.057376301880686126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616889115003322,0.0,0.10150509009702577
mentalhealth,mikeydc1124,2019/03/31,"Help for mom My elderly mom has been in and out of the hospital/ER (5 times in the past 2 weeks).  She has been complaining about breathing issues and stomach pain.  Each time she goes they stabilize her, keep her there for a few days, run tests (blood, CT scans, Xrays) and all seem fine/normal.  She goes home, seems fine, and next thing you know a day or two later she finds herself in an ambulance back to the hospital.   She reads the side effects of her medicine religiously then all of a sudden she suffers from those same side effects (nausea,  vomiting,  etc).  Some background info, she had a stroke in 2014 were she recovered from, diagnosed with cancer in 2018 but very little cancer to none showing on her lastest scan, used to be very social until she moved with my siblings from a different state, and now lives with my brother and someone is always there with her. My question is could she be making herself sick?  I do not want to diminish her sickness in anyway...but I am trying to think outside of the box and look at it from a mental point of view.",6.362953795379537,6.630427787128713,6.046287128712872,81.69570132013202,65.68316831683168,9.10957095709571,31.189768976897692,8.841846274778883,2.377157095709572,831,29,159,12,12,258,133,202,0.099,0.885,0.016,-0.9512,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,1,2,5,4,0,0,12,0,13,12,3,4,2,34,22,11,0,2,3,3,1,0,0,0,9,0,1,0,3,13,0,1,9,2,0,2,2,3,0,1,4,5,26,1,31,15,8,29,0,1,4,0,27,13,0,5,13,109,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920595759640185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940125114066905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397898053751537,0.0,0.0,0.2002863735674731,0.0,0.0,0.15760661249257188,0.0,0.16223525145068218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17317899482258406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419237202014997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408136063486978,0.0,0.15575917388434485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207267740084835,0.0,0.1380205951532199,0.0,0.0,0.08533819587372307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556320260972432,0.137115677418987,0.0,0.13039665525332544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365105370614247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648639402399625,0.0,0.0,0.3637256904321201,0.0,0.16503877902151226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16514275529219216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522958210825514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823297090010934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679042529932826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17394988923726235,0.0,0.15532269221400505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827233819961806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582890891887731,0.13156880868357906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316157802907604,0.09949758405600133,0.0,0.0,0.1810908160573164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542538275820244,0.0,0.15168665246079405,0.0,0.0,0.1341126433673225,0.0,0.2562456318624534,0.09158856297413633,0.0,0.12455678793794593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ajc772,2019/03/31,"How Can I Stop Judging My Worth Based On My Appearance? Hi, I often judge my self based only on my looks and compare my looks to good looking celebrities. I’ve been taking a lot of selfies recently trying to convince myself I am ok looking, and I am good enough. I have been wanting to get plastic surgery. I know I want a nose job to smooth out my nose bridge as I have a dorsal hump. I think I will be content after that. But then I think about my other flaws, like my nose tip is kind of bulbous, my jaw is not wide enough, and my chin is not strong enough. I feel like I have to look perfect. Can someone please help me with this? I am driving myself insane. Thank you.",2.6246837944664034,4.039357528985509,3.4969301712779988,92.33614624505933,75.15942028985508,5.597891963109355,24.86429512516469,5.565023196281405,0.4468753623188402,521,17,112,2,11,166,85,138,0.053,0.738,0.209,0.9593,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,2,3,10,0,0,3,1,15,5,4,1,1,20,30,7,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,4,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,10,28,10,14,26,4,10,0,0,5,1,4,4,0,3,6,76,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4582357654607093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474599189153708,0.1056079477422564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723373244120936,0.0,0.0,0.2479812745144479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990856123367805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466959172022626,0.0,0.0,0.15393952327287438,0.08124209120908697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444203351885632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6206890625580059,0.0,0.0,0.12567759726056155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242942422999673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227012979617714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459617561494871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542162526860151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525370434545974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359035334388935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114783233836577,0.0,0.0,0.1360996391542822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944370023764368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036512342572353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438490023539713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ermitage,2019/03/31,"I need help dealing with lack of motivation and procrastination Hello, Reddit. I have a problem: I can't force myself to do anything useful for my future, even to do things I have to do as a university student. I just waste my time on any kind of entertainment: games, social media, shows, friends etc, basically, everything that I can get pleasure from without actually trying hard. I can't seem to be scared of being expelled because I don't do my job as a student properly, like ""everything will be fine either way"". I'm anxious because I'm aware that it is not the right way of thinking. Sometimes my anxiety takes over and i get a huge boost of motivation and become productive for a few days but it ends up even worse with me wasting a lot more time laying in bed afterwards, like I'm trying to compensate for these days, I feel like highly addictied to dopamine and I can't do much about it. Sometimes I'd prefer hanging out with friends instead of going to an important exam. Thinking about it now makes me sick, but I'm sure that I would find an excuse for me to do it next time. I study IT and i genuinely enjoy doing programming, until i get hands on those entertainment things. The same goes for my hobbies, I like music, art, design, and were so happy doing it on my rare highly motivated moods to the fullest, wish it would never end, just imagining being highly motivated . I want to stop to live ""at the current moment"" and consider my future when i make decisions. I want to get rid of procrastination and addiction and live a normal life. I've been this way since around middle school and I'm trying to fight it for years and already tried many many things with no result. It's destroying my life at this point. That's why I'm here, asking for your help.

I'm 18, male, I don't do drugs, smoke or drink alcohol and never did, also don't want to, glad that at least I could keep myself from doing that. I'm not a native English speaker, so I'm sorry if I did mistakes and I hope I didn't cause any misunderstandings of my situation, if you have questions, please ask them.",5.7777941176470575,6.165059112745098,6.710584313725492,76.01872941176472,66.94117647058823,9.469176470588236,30.78078431372549,9.3871,2.6594883137254905,1650,59,311,30,25,551,212,408,0.105,0.703,0.192,0.9874,2,0,4,0,1,0,50.0,0,2,1,4,14,22,2,1,14,0,34,8,1,9,3,68,65,25,0,16,11,0,3,4,2,3,6,1,1,1,23,19,2,2,13,6,0,2,13,5,0,0,5,4,41,16,52,52,9,43,0,0,0,0,17,18,0,7,24,207,64,13,0.0,0.0,0.0854851563017516,0.09549714557454622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361797023053964,0.0,0.0,0.09666899628321167,0.07005384630982935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914227650842367,0.0,0.06701391133258648,0.09896328879577043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208749854062944,0.07798274811559372,0.16378871905260314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680053466841004,0.0967475357658485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998953344079241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994162962893442,0.0,0.0,0.11298976083723927,0.0903119571341459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581484382874911,0.10158841790428444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551755477779284,0.0,0.0976973763042613,0.1157182085732176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745881808013135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04429329195891185,0.06258159861356917,0.0,0.0,0.08006499352436716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353593906087165,0.0,0.18306995056318434,0.0,0.04978521099949865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325203918197593,0.07847257054801758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743313173311412,0.27766325480197834,0.0,0.0870067619324687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692967910906614,0.07786308054412938,0.0,0.09122212543831583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374922031181344,0.17118812661081326,0.0,0.1547051586451354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447455532109762,0.0,0.0,0.1169476241461776,0.17762570178669226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439622458710108,0.06495443648501502,0.13512534542077645,0.0,0.09316380386797243,0.0,0.08582959428922235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615871103432877,0.08281050154508016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382155836413915,0.0,0.0,0.0981322694724474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481009004504455,0.0,0.0,0.08770307969824626,0.08865607664432194,0.0,0.079747929791345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724637886262469,0.09846629231992103,0.0,0.08929736962139732,0.0,0.0,0.17327767056241633,0.09806124919286666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732376876061735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256214945939766,0.0,0.06586444655798092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459303628318062,0.1122613388632092,0.0,0.0,0.1532411389128544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23789913555972894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756584446031663,0.0,0.0,0.1550065984252468,0.20859887801987825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904555292513303,0.0,0.1007359039495381,0.08444346439155133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927208516988497,0.124457333895358,0.0,0.0,0.05641165511933016
mentalhealth,anxious-wreck,2019/03/31,"Supposed to gain weight, I really don’t want to do it. I don’t want to share numbers in here but all I’m going to say is that I lost weight in the second half of 2018 and have continued to lose a bit of weight since January. I started going to a gym now and I was asked if I had trouble with eating and that I am underweight for my height (I’m a guy, 177 cm or around 5ft 10?). I’m on a journey to regain muscle mass because I realized that what I thought was fat in my body was actually loose skin (I used to be just overweight and I don’t know, my body just isn’t tight at all, lol) and also just a big hipbone (which isn’t that big but my mind makes it seem enormous), and that my body fat percentage is actually very low.

3 years ago, this would’ve been the dream scenario for me. “I need to gain weight? I get to eat as much as I want!” But today it’s a really scary thought because I associate weight gain with being miserable again like I was throughout all my life when I got bullied at school and later when I was very depressed in 2017 and the first half of 2018. I’m well aware of this fear being irrational and I’m working on it with my therapy but it’s so hard to not think about calories and fat and weight and the scale, that goddamn scale.

I needed to vent. I’m scared and I know my weight hasn’t gone up and that it actually got lower because I think I’m eating enough, or at least enough to not freak out but apparently it’s not enough to get to my goal. I need to gain muscle mass and a bit of body fat, I really do know that but I’m scared.

Thanks for your time",1.8739643749321149,3.0653548563049853,3.523238840013033,92.29745085261213,76.68328445747802,6.928684696426632,22.30704898446833,7.526774132740827,0.5996359509069196,1230,33,292,16,27,410,154,341,0.17800000000000002,0.7190000000000001,0.103,-0.9865,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,9,13,14,0,4,11,1,22,21,9,2,3,57,57,30,0,7,15,0,10,1,0,0,6,1,0,1,19,20,15,1,9,2,0,4,9,10,1,4,13,11,34,4,42,41,10,35,0,5,0,0,5,19,0,4,13,178,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.21742017537607447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583277205013201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939089392583265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611293120001473,0.06942915308660415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135816508867917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215956822223795,0.3299733611954058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396562838831475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227979513172288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23021144430320475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357046081168733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317104771355753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760236295105433,0.0,0.08441472785004099,0.0,0.1187954102631002,0.0,0.0,0.07353551203859532,0.0,0.0,0.06652819736538583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244477994850175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05245662589630129,0.03628286098645762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308521785488379,0.08107065870601456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957346602943935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498799489406892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054594423363446214,0.1652030081360065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273106650774225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059059702342677975,0.14870744656304594,0.07516166379467767,0.0,0.06760943315082421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143401698075687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256621157384888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837461599565778,0.08493021615150806,0.0,0.0,0.09517395003422266,0.0,0.1179186121077756,0.0433053939013107,0.0,0.07039595908477846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414241179773247,0.0,0.122555282094279,0.13141291920164375,0.0,0.0,0.6330561339610813,0.06677450334364242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406689715389628,0.0,0.0,0.052756791418560656,0.0,0.0,0.0478251916469389
mentalhealth,DiscontentRobot,2019/03/31,"Why do people treat mental illness and being unhappy as immoral? I dont know if its just my experience or if its everyone that gets treated like this, but people always act like im just a terrible or a drug addict for being depressed or anxious when they think i have no reason to be. If i dont want to talk to people im ""being a dick"" if im angry and want to be left aline im ""pretending to be a 'badass'"" (which as an accusation just disgusts me, and tells me everything i need to know about the accusing person to know i hate them with all of my being), if im anxious or de-personalizing im just a ""high"" or ""a drug addict"", where i live specifically people like to use the term ""crack head"" (mostly used by people who dont know what crack or crackheads actually are, but like to pretend to be morally superior). I feel like im being attacked for not fitting i to the mold or being a carbon copy of what people think is normal. Does anyone else get treated like shit for not being as happy or outgoing as people say/think they should be?",7.175492957746477,5.225328450704228,8.505732394366198,72.01831690140847,64.96244131455397,10.961314553990617,33.50657276995305,9.642632912329526,2.9788482629107973,812,26,161,13,10,285,109,213,0.255,0.6459999999999999,0.099,-0.9899,0,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,3,0,7,17,4,0,11,0,20,8,3,3,1,42,35,23,0,10,21,0,1,6,0,1,5,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,8,2,0,1,6,6,0,0,0,1,15,11,23,22,3,7,1,1,0,1,7,4,2,14,8,106,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.07767986656688587,0.17355540649803378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623506794204215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17985473504990532,0.0,0.055659423994737216,0.08156144309356061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055853040423932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856090704751702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966006484961627,0.0,0.2798781231203141,0.0,0.18462561429238825,0.0,0.0664970831695014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606292378163297,0.07154095814640007,0.07786582723440738,0.0,0.0,0.040249057942073285,0.0568675363086966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317730204502866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473758806939767,0.0,0.07859028986471032,0.0816944039950045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410366398352506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6018851677757262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17498825307741872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864875802219048,0.0,0.0,0.2333364891915861,0.0,0.07028984095404169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021988407501432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902372034359659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799285537178259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863010197570994,0.13901042926603108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184390012171504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330254020157604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171009586502306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398090537087213,0.06957547504211695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301684293701232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750078108733976,0.0,0.0,0.09390239899394336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718282362642675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BumNugg,2019/03/31,"Any advice on my situation please This year I (F23) have been training to be a teacher. The relationship with my other half wasn't the most ideal since we moved in together last August as over time he decreased his affection levels to the point where I think he entered depression, particularly after we were burgled in November. From that point on I was trying to do everything in my power to save the relationship and be there for him and his 3 year old. 

Fast forward to 4 weeks ago. On Saturday I was upset because I was having to ask for every hug and kiss and any form of affection (had been for weeks) . Sunday I had my biggest ever panic attack because I was realising that nothing was changing and he wasn't there for me but I was there for him (and his child) all the time. By Monday I walked in from work and he told me it was over.

Within a space of 5 days I had lost my boyfriend, lost my step daughter, moved out of my home and back in with the parents and gave up my degree because I couldn't cope. 

I've been given Sertraline but they made things worse so came off them. It's been a few weeks since it has happened and I'm still heartbroken. I'm surrounded by people who love me but I'm lost. I was wondering if anyone had any tips to bring me out of this? What kind of things should I do?

I just want to have a whole day where I'm happy.

Thanks in advance. ",3.3944700460829518,4.66968577419355,4.605765488991295,85.70483870967746,72.97849462365592,7.608192524321558,25.1136712749616,8.11559375814309,1.3530380952380954,1077,33,225,16,21,355,152,279,0.103,0.7979999999999999,0.098,-0.3413,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,0,2,7,10,15,1,2,10,0,29,3,0,3,2,35,49,16,0,5,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,12,17,0,0,2,0,0,9,3,7,0,1,27,0,35,8,42,18,5,54,0,4,0,3,23,25,0,3,22,158,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106631225629509,0.1003861471008223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310344129356724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918455258836228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587014579197536,0.12883418832716131,0.0,0.08707953156430381,0.0,0.20710195869547188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952377227956374,0.0,0.0,0.11979973063361983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460691862300614,0.0,0.09753900346010153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243789962466128,0.09541502037717227,0.0,0.10177860919116018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014346380345644,0.12055295432677575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359542524987727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792875328009185,0.0,0.09231097346098968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708656410924847,0.0,0.102209344674922,0.10715653139021387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24072611350121584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866302529540088,0.0,0.11883310162867892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287031151153045,0.12574678351118565,0.0,0.0,0.07851083099547483,0.0,0.0,0.12431059739960787,0.21410900390199727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431686170262381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735727126691185,0.12729375727222428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043876312634627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042621181753591,0.0,0.0,0.15047182176714302,0.07256375396911934,0.0,0.0,0.13206983412837506,0.0,0.0,0.10821183828242284,0.0,0.07688690744752825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679569170543652,0.0,0.2725184194430012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643561977534382,0.0,0.0,0.12281094679415094,0.08244476606336648,0.0,0.11540780985110402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458540047543084
mentalhealth,nicoleCc07,2019/03/31,Feeling a little lost Lately I’ve been feeling depressed and like I have no direction in life. I’m not sure what I want to do with my life and I’m currently in college and it’s just stressing me out and I feel like I can’t do it but I’m afraid to leave because what if I’m just going through a rough patch and I regret it and it makes me more depressed. Kind of a senseless rant I know I’m sorry but any advice would be great I just don’t know what to do ,-1.0520537714712432,0.9587287087378656,1.3621359223301006,99.40861090365948,92.00970873786407,3.945929798356983,18.60268857356236,5.369823440869387,-0.5514265870052282,359,11,87,2,13,121,59,103,0.229,0.659,0.113,-0.8379,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,3,11,0,2,3,0,9,2,0,1,1,25,23,9,0,4,7,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,2,4,10,5,9,19,1,7,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,1,4,53,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007668188763118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397154507054071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524256942262108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.353913661344782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116504450287895,0.14677604814008235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676397995915334,0.0,0.0,0.22651325025185065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21394824311617647,0.2258237821154943,0.0,0.23176053906596486,0.2175456309131607,0.0,0.0,0.29023581883774585,0.20074844098814104,0.20591841901358132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22427680594411464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714183155929974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22998841434338266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23534633288849616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19363752751713384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118181945132475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594829818913074,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,weedeco,2019/03/31,Depression Wellbutrin Hey I am just looking to hear some advice on Wellbutrin positives and negatives. I am seeing my doctor and was wondering what is best for mild depression ,6.335000000000001,9.659747833333334,6.4033333333333395,66.965,70.66666666666666,10.666666666666668,36.66666666666667,10.504223727775694,5.409666666666667,145,8,19,5,3,46,25,30,0.19,0.615,0.195,0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,5,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,3,1,3,7,2,1,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,17,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112362147294398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342479267807596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5486501649749621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260000275949128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589746096757794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674612454043752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538046507116688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454015513235389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RhamenSouce,2019/03/31,"Emotions I am 18y/o male and still go to school (almost finished). I don't have any true friends nor people like family that i trust. I used to be really introverted and in my inner core I still am. It's just like I kind of learned what people expect from me and so i behave like it in order for them not to think that somethings wrong.

I myself believe that i might am kind of psychopathic or depressive. I generally don't show any emotions and this lead to some pretty awkward situations in the past when emotions were ""appropriate""
As my parents suspected that something was wrong i denied everything and further on i began to act emotions.

The only place where i get truly emotionally is on my pc in videogames. In casual life i don't feel like i want to show any feelings. I kind of feel like it makes me weak and vulnerable. Most of the feelings i have in life (outside pc) are negative feelings.
I started to read books about psychology, feelings and behavour and self confidence. That helped me being less introverted and i started to build up a social life. But I always think about how i only do these social interactions so satisfy others expectations of me, like my parents or teachers.
I can't trust anybody on my school so i don't want to be friends with any.

I only had a few times when i actually cried by thinking about myself and that i don't have anyone that i can trust.

I don't think i have anyone to speak to irl so i'm just going to see what reactions or answers i get here since i can enjoy anonymity here.

So my question is, am I depressive or a psycho? I read some story's on r/depression and i found people being way worse then I am so i'm not really sure what to think about myself. ",3.687777777777778,5.3620909734513305,5.214041297935104,80.04332350049168,72.89380530973452,7.972074729596852,27.59980334316617,8.626192665926032,2.1138464110127826,1356,51,258,25,27,457,160,339,0.151,0.748,0.101,-0.85,2,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,1,20,24,0,1,6,0,30,4,0,4,2,53,56,28,0,4,9,2,6,6,2,1,4,1,0,2,16,12,0,0,16,6,0,4,11,6,0,0,5,8,49,18,38,46,5,32,0,2,1,0,13,15,0,10,17,181,65,9,0.0,0.0,0.07717326999468348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918986221196499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580310970289997,0.0,0.0,0.21511568722668206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110592871628992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909907857266837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686859042663331,0.0,0.0,0.2043413418882193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44478675080884267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107439704413768,0.0,0.07455209526114395,0.0,0.2399194195000897,0.11299333862023768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671005666419805,0.12219813649154265,0.0,0.0826348534291473,0.0,0.08988899819389742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053007441137328484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24705726773511605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16757526810346599,0.2318147632821779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052788290762502826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389420671971208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804377834408282,0.0,0.0,0.17562387400108975,0.0,0.07549334896921434,0.16447788053254964,0.0,0.08262454957560021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045549766499449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859068000596312,0.0,0.15820812515525326,0.0,0.1013247562069922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600717512965796,0.06301864249721555,0.0,0.08250046342640317,0.0,0.0,0.06541799496454145,0.0888922251689793,0.0,0.16122962894941648,0.0,0.1217633931907092,0.0,0.0,0.11195022995550503,0.0,0.12631103155575324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453447273443134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533648819531251,0.0,0.0,0.04611373599517024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830202839107773,0.0,0.0,0.09329000564732304,0.06277213585163771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059198847908927,0.0,0.17292895189939655,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UTKrhino,2019/03/31,"Academic Survey about Generalized Anxiety Disorder (17+ College Students) Please take a few minutes of your time to participate in my survey regarding Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or GAD. Thank you. [https://utk.questionpro.com/t/APG6bZeBxf](https://utk.questionpro.com/t/APG6bZeBxf) ",20.258645833333333,26.81048840625,13.645000000000005,16.233333333333377,39.9375,16.766666666666666,51.29166666666666,13.5591,10.487216666666667,247,13,17,10,3,68,28,32,0.234,0.638,0.128,-0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,10,3,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4709828930809677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7056067069876389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379082567880385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314521490702052,0.0,0.0,0.2834113208257753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949993145453816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mhsg95,2019/03/31,"Misophonia/Anxiety coping Wondering if there is anyone out there with misophonia and how they cope? My mother gets extremely anxious/angry at the sound of low bass tones even if only for a few moments. That leads her to think about it all day and expect impending bass tones all day everyday which is driving her mad. 

​

Is there anyone out there with experience with this? Specifically, ways to cope, and can behavioral therapy help?",8.22961038961039,9.69179481818182,7.5796363636363635,68.14945454545457,61.85714285714286,11.874285714285715,34.88051948051948,11.602472056035307,4.655074805194807,359,15,55,11,5,112,57,77,0.073,0.893,0.034,-0.4836,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,7,2,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,2,17,7,6,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,11,7,3,11,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,3,4,39,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27236001844652546,0.3054428807704695,0.0,0.0,0.1922978762996244,0.2839773099141469,0.0,0.3515284375028683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242265765502063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660279583397948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24588875178772635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133080134982048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848846299552575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911787235022457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874642709791217,0.0,0.0,0.16106817692530606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995263393527736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27260077138543226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054428807704695,0.0
mentalhealth,ihaveaproblemrnguys,2019/03/31,"I feel disconnected I feel disconnected from my own body and the world.

The hands i am using to type this feels like someone else's i am using.

Something in my head doesn't want me to go outside tomorrow.

Sometimes i focus out and my vision goes blurry but my body keeps doing things.

I imagine extremely detailed things for some seconds, almost as if i am seeing them and suddenly i snap back into life.

I feel as if i get disconnected from my body and i am in the back of my head sometimes.

Sometimes voices talk to me, but after a while they become one with my normal inner voice and the rest of my head makes it seem like it was always part of it.

I can't talk to my councillor about this because when i talk to him i feel like I'm not in control. I do things well and i am very convincing, and when I'm done i feel like I should've said so much more.

I feel sleepy and braindead no matter how much i sleep and sometimes time seems to skip half a day and i am only left with the memories and regret.

I feel this ominous feeling all the time and i am starting to doubt whether others can completely focus out and see and hear other things while they are doing things.

I get mentally tired from just a normal day.

I feel like i am not in control.

Just writing this now i just snapped back in and suddenly i have written so much, but I don't feel like it was me.",3.228874766988646,4.419364654804268,4.326080325368583,87.87966785290631,73.27046263345196,7.0605660057617365,25.124724622945266,7.447530270364453,1.0701955939671242,1072,33,227,12,21,350,134,281,0.07,0.823,0.107,0.8413,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,2,14,10,0,1,9,0,20,10,8,6,1,62,49,30,0,6,11,0,12,6,0,0,2,4,0,0,15,20,0,3,14,0,0,1,6,2,1,3,5,18,45,8,28,44,9,29,0,1,2,0,10,11,0,7,23,168,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963286968243606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617122840350566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18344960885411016,0.0,0.048477744212163935,0.08782919124095448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26500327354854103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338052229134058,0.0,0.17838825508583234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257418170175923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138175656248542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643299109206473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4423129103280308,0.2840636275273513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309713302362881,0.0,0.0451959296248013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24484699271865965,0.0,0.0896305329769856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706855356840437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640422064544394,0.0,0.05617090838876907,0.2331115918032909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053083601380654835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014256551039411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538022895418656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558353665814535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05388824518479676,0.060482398854164086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611790055370895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756465521053184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674236841358102,0.1447932729504559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958250150482545,0.0,0.06738133327700904,0.0612222837065495,0.3146093085501773,0.0,0.056288253470521285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175771540524494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641646124225685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274341504079077,0.09140236872331964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736825330884175,0.0,0.06561651083588746,0.04690594638554973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715025880131143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,okikio,2019/03/31,"Resources for my little brother who isn't allowed to try therapy? My 13 year old brother has been dealing with symptoms of depression which have raised concern at school. I am 10 years older and live in another state, so we aren't the closest siblings and I don't know how serious the symptoms are, but he says his school counselor was crying when they discussed his failed depression screening.

He has expressed interest in therapy, but his parents (my father and stepmom) have said to him that therapy is a ""crutch"" and ""unnecessary."" When I was a teen myself, they took me out of therapy for this exact reason.

Outside of having a frank conversation with our parents - which I don't know how successful that would be - what can I do for my brother?

I am thinking of sending him a few online workbooks, videos, or other resources to better understand his depression and give him the same kind of perspective that therapy might provide. Anyone have any suggestions?",9.25359666024406,8.966358739884399,8.617649325626202,67.51519588953116,59.867052023121396,11.619524727039176,42.92164418754014,10.980518767755715,5.046007578676941,774,41,120,17,9,245,108,173,0.139,0.812,0.049,-0.9625,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,2,3,5,9,0,0,7,0,22,2,0,4,1,24,29,13,0,1,3,6,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,9,9,0,0,5,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,5,3,23,4,17,21,2,15,0,4,1,0,29,6,0,2,6,93,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959478065059797,0.12273214535930554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184075715085752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351700813933644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856870625429484,0.0,0.12066850875911063,0.30243269554400554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228046484390176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218846118695864,0.12865001195229708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731008496592585,0.10335309622025647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416650905937557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281929611237355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599297877033884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034200631996578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113368316433055,0.09307907714171523,0.0,0.2369120745598139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24330965197478766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6692571946063011,0.0,0.0,0.07499786729127866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004157449853426,0.0794660387008163,0.0,0.0,0.12184822847673955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314558427174976,0.0,0.0,0.1507466013558271
mentalhealth,clapomatic,2019/03/31,"I can't cry and really wish I could Hi! I'm a 17 y.o. male, and I don't think I can remember the last time I actually cried. There are lots of times where I get close to crying but tears never actually come out of me (lumps in my throat, moist eyes, chills). A lot of the time this leaves me feeling really emotionally unfulfilled, and it just makes it difficult for me to properly express myself. Not having that whole range of emotional coping is frustrating and I think it's just stressful and unhealthy to not have it as a way to release. What can I do to learn to cry again?",4.158910256410259,4.991966205128204,5.443664529914532,82.08293269230772,70.70940170940172,9.610683760683765,26.59081196581197,9.827888789773867,2.2584196581196583,454,14,96,11,8,152,79,117,0.212,0.703,0.085,-0.9584,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,1,5,0,10,3,2,1,1,24,18,7,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,7,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,0,3,13,0,14,17,3,12,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,2,6,66,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.2818824344809116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441221879377015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531427024461274,0.0,0.6345909600842757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32492486621724986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302730385424837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545784200664958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772836654271727,0.0,0.1529287489648087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455756048066579,0.0,0.0,0.09640703259849956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139203276657664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18504897456580144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360914465983645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654421654483147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850876857798971,0.0,0.0,0.25265196420128594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464048674265798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124907398206229,0.1660854531557384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mirroman,2019/03/31,"NSFW Please help,

I constantly feel either angry or miserable. I also feel immense pleasure from the sensation of bleeding and I think something is wrong with me.

Im also trans in case that is related to anything",4.217307692307692,7.096253743589744,5.458653846153847,73.29259615384616,75.66666666666667,8.002564102564103,32.82692307692308,8.841846274778883,3.636738461538462,172,9,25,4,4,57,33,39,0.203,0.613,0.184,-0.2263,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,5,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,1,5,5,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4948752185081513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546206844533712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33436572787988816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31289720252714043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20739313323887829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33421933131355425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396427579730101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382013834830756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19825947298540128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382947411969587,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pikabluee,2019/03/31,"I don’t know if I’m paranoid I recently got my wisdom teeth out and my dentist did an x ray prior to the extraction. I’m eating sweets right now and felt in if my teeth move and crack through my gum. I kept feeling like I have a cavity, my dentist knew, but is waiting to tell me that I do to give the cavity time to grow in the tooth so he can charge me more for filling it. Is that a thing dentist do?? It would be a fucked yo but smart move to get more money out of people. Or like telling them that a tooth needs to be extracted and waiting a while for the tooth to cause more problems before extraction.",5.090797342192687,4.1987185891472905,5.866910299003326,85.823023255814,68.53488372093022,9.231893687707641,30.05647840531561,8.418075326091056,1.876722259136212,474,15,108,6,7,156,77,129,0.08800000000000001,0.8029999999999999,0.11,-0.2142,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,2,7,1,0,10,0,11,10,5,1,0,22,25,11,0,5,5,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,6,1,3,4,0,1,4,1,2,0,0,5,3,13,5,15,17,3,14,0,0,0,1,5,5,1,3,7,70,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18582351889832596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22433427068441356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223455122177156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104184338765563,0.15600922403355574,0.20967704183948185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018868608356322,0.11409344585291242,0.20948799209103072,0.0,0.0,0.1746567655030844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001478941079385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337683430893045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4642023212721851,0.0,0.1619244547608424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139574790220486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20895816929223296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21562184288470146,0.0,0.0,0.18649354373119634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817438411316144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508058127646695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733791669036046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551294031828232,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,qqqqqqqqqyyyyyyyyyyy,2019/03/31,I feel bad I recently got diagnosed with depression. I went to the doctor with my mom and started taking a medicine. I feel like I’m getting worse. It’s been about two and half weeks and nothing is helping. It’s exactly that I want to kill myself but more like I want to stop living. My mom is going to take me back to the doctor but I’m not sure what to except. What will happen if I say that I am having harmful thoughts like that ,1.2233577533577529,3.241655560439561,3.0060805860805893,91.51947496947498,81.30769230769229,5.8026862026862025,22.1990231990232,6.937597516519254,0.6107426129426128,340,11,73,4,9,113,58,91,0.174,0.7090000000000001,0.117,-0.6527,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,0,3,0,6,3,0,0,2,18,21,6,1,3,5,2,2,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,4,0,2,4,3,12,4,10,16,1,7,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,8,49,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328190066911136,0.14472529678729704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14929092448015047,0.17592871657837456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3548260702877589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528411826473572,0.12382868655092133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055901426056724,0.0,0.09850878571823052,0.0,0.13862973810335327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15327725075618626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161810402916096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917665965923284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540443358065673,0.0,0.15305566669820858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40600957594543785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631709293396835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711448137858746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137840865233673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268555034961083,0.0,0.0,0.14491363057531093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336371637782615,0.0,0.2606487558120554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760654791129995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693205485953527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044718566368129,0.0,0.139036779589945,0.0,0.0,0.1606808523427708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664050291377462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beigebeyonce,2019/03/31,"Wellbutrin freshly prescribed. I was recently in the past 2 weeks put on Wellbutrin. 150 mil first week. And now 300mil on my second week. I was prescribed it for my depression and anxiety. And I feel it’s made me the most irritable I’ve been. I’m very argumentative and easily annoyed. Headaches every single night. Burst of rage. And my stomach feels like I haven’t ate all day but not hungry, know what I mean. I’m just looking to see if anyone went through a rough start when first prescribed or if this is just who Wellbutrin is. I really was looking forward to starting something and it making me more comfortable in social settings. Nicer. New positive perspective on life, not crying for no reason lol. I know I’m not going to feel a new way after two weeks but I just feel like I’m feeling all the bad parts and nothing greatly changing where I need it to. ",2.641164337990688,5.268934317365272,3.5732435129740523,85.96895375914836,80.07784431137725,6.106320691949433,26.643047238855623,7.3871296695380915,1.6004360612109116,689,29,127,10,18,220,106,167,0.093,0.731,0.17600000000000002,0.9512,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,2,0,5,1,7,3,1,3,2,33,30,13,0,3,11,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,7,1,0,9,0,0,4,5,4,0,4,7,9,14,4,14,23,6,29,0,1,3,0,2,7,0,4,20,79,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209094750626647,0.0,0.0,0.09331322828585836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114274272108321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117525764541936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659152059175165,0.08606594894253718,0.0,0.11494261190010499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124396525246446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3373884656437107,0.19067726601444854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270295908478531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584424280972721,0.0,0.0,0.1471320689628061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668422375607648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426158616600143,0.13039649305637765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22413330819092564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627616812985995,0.08908071115589661,0.0,0.0,0.14536910942992354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895348344286607,0.0,0.2577788916508221,0.0,0.12523631528242,0.0,0.1280514614805308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451626538234208,0.1273956992465243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341568198118571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549321459587986,0.13721159846326653,0.13176843788867465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063445208898256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360382179339045,0.0,0.1027384056341547,0.0,0.0,0.18891701084564005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303638929940189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011245086622162,0.0,0.10592853872833598,0.42819081339059795,0.0,0.0,0.12371198661221235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,swagswagdab,2019/03/31,I’m annoying I don’t really have anyone to talk to and I thought this guy would finally be someone I could talk to but now his answers are getting short and he ignores my snaps all the time and I feel super annoying so I try not to start conversations if he ignored but I’m afraid we will stop talking if I do that,1.0006396588486126,3.1354891492537327,3.289125799573561,88.52895522388063,82.88059701492537,6.813646055437101,25.989339019189767,7.957251820313856,1.6632533049040517,251,11,54,5,7,86,48,67,0.194,0.731,0.075,-0.7543,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,1,0,0,1,2,6,2,1,1,0,8,0,0,0,1,18,14,8,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,1,9,1,4,9,1,6,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,2,5,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18745283910149005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21404585530917128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555296912730186,0.0,0.0,0.29367647925492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006452365206884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654485269138803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174355763168214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271494576305522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18975353595685784,0.0,0.0,0.22413294582493026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6464351316959966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21283133150218428,0.15632383184460447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820136455868653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19044149117245035,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Takoyaki11,2019/03/31,"Dermatophagia and dermatillomania I have suffered from dermatophagia and dermatillomania since I can remember, probably around 4 y/o. I have never been able to stop despite numerous attempts. I have read that continuous and deep picking causes irreparable tissue damage and discolouring and becoming increasingly desperate to stop. I know this condition isn't as serious as most, but can anybody offer any advice? Have I caused permanent damage after over a decade of this? Thank you so much. ",8.187535714285715,11.450552825000004,8.18964285714286,56.702500000000036,64.5,12.571428571428573,37.67857142857143,11.765960540728905,6.225857142857143,406,21,51,16,7,131,60,80,0.17,0.769,0.061,-0.7774,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,3,1,16,10,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,2,2,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,7,1,9,9,3,9,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,38,10,1,0.2366107459890912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23121328255067455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090342100078794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21063372832152705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613179793827506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.486128827120894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003507809001888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393612308334613,0.0,0.18248879389658854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551064031871998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366747762172835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680338506973061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19572685415015964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39563435674950026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178393852504744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MightyMorphineWalrus,2019/03/31,"I think I'm done...can't go any further Hello there

I'm not really sure how to transfer my mess of a thoughts to a written form, but I'll try.

I suffer from depression and anxiety...for last half a year I've been trying different kinds of medication, but it's the same old story again and again - first week is full of side effects, then it gets better for two or three weeks and then it all falls appart. It's damn exhausting. I don't think I can hold it together for much longer. I have wonderful GF (she's an angel) and I don't want to hurt her in any way, but I have a feeling that I'm just falling appart and slowly loosing myself...no idea what to do...",2.2833794466403177,3.613281369565218,4.0099736495388685,88.6578853754941,75.8840579710145,7.337022397891962,23.41501976284585,8.00094639256281,1.0765130434782604,511,15,113,8,11,172,94,138,0.166,0.731,0.103,-0.7819,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,5,9,1,0,6,0,8,2,0,2,2,24,20,12,0,1,6,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,7,0,0,3,3,6,0,4,3,1,10,3,11,17,5,18,1,3,0,0,4,4,1,2,10,68,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697305897747188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17539908665435724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708138579553745,0.0,0.0,0.2072035635728646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20295156087420774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002772157228035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869200917608754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361470164611357,0.0,0.1127105735973087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230706942304112,0.22388062481465396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652113100458205,0.0,0.16165834126999004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997878603422487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457889856243929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20810485879426485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704971265852738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869154922952752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25415258150059,0.0,0.1574449713570863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692943093834731,0.0,0.1937311074829477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697504988012868,0.15741822870257774,0.3181627925762798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150710062323136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771242460210294
mentalhealth,_envee,2019/03/31,"Spacing out with ADD? For some background, I was diagnosed as having ADD (not ADHD) in the seventh grade. I know that ADD/ADHD are possibly over diagnosed, but I have horrible issues with concentration and it's affected me for years. Some days, it seems as if it's not as bad, but other days it seems horrible. It seems like my sleeping patterns affect it as well. If I sleep enough, it isn't as big of a problem, if I'm not getting enough sleep, it seems to hit me hard the next few days. The problem at hand is that I seem to hit a wall every single day around noon until about 2 PM. Some days it's even earlier than that. I start feeling very fatigued, my eyes get heavy, and I usually get a headache that can last the whole day sometimes. It is also accompanied by poor concentration, and the combination makes it hard to get through the days. One strange exception is that when I need to focus, I can easy focus to the point where I can multitask. For example, when I'm at work, I can feel this crash before I go in, but once I'm in a work environment, it seems to somewhat go away. Is this ""afternoon crash"" feeling from having ADD? Is there anything I can do to prevent it from getting so bad or even happening altogether?",5.875361552028222,5.747816950617285,6.572701352145799,78.85453703703705,66.7366255144033,10.070429159318053,32.99500293944739,9.784248007369934,2.957690417401529,961,38,194,19,14,317,127,243,0.154,0.746,0.1,-0.9456,0,0,0,0,1,0,34.0,0,0,0,2,11,7,0,0,11,0,17,8,5,3,0,42,43,20,0,6,11,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,21,10,0,1,10,0,1,2,4,5,1,1,1,7,17,2,35,40,9,33,0,1,1,0,0,14,0,14,18,133,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22262429343068446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406878307676122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621898829562254,0.08245210731695643,0.0,0.0,0.08702024676179547,0.0,0.15466892073060046,0.0,0.0,0.07881343935123866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4181290655929364,0.0,0.0,0.18801623021501554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19140399481864293,0.0,0.1223502682626927,0.0,0.07803697948802639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049550767064595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419526045038036,0.0,0.10527701727164836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819042263974607,0.0,0.16594000505526602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667200298210214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050901943858111344,0.07549827599490251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045249821684217637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061825072144614225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867711509520344,0.0,0.0,0.09850322206126398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863807961752513,0.0627622195865344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755654969025903,0.1044159829990543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17725110470510658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5059107321312453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27806292917294945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160429347569804,0.0,0.06555744601340349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200867457161268,0.07642182163218858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327718066333815,0.0,0.0,0.10340776355716184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485802324937332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059644728535747274
mentalhealth,freeelchapo69,2019/03/31,:( I just want to end it all but I would just be passing the pain to my family ,-1.7533333333333303,-0.14209299999999914,1.6866666666666674,99.00000000000004,90.11111111111113,5.822222222222222,14.555555555555555,7.1686216300943375,-0.4813111111111117,58,1,16,1,2,21,15,18,0.297,0.65,0.053,-0.7391,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630946741916996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4929015184864976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5563549874167443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083936493140079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.371421459865059,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xChrisxBundyx,2019/03/31,Would you guys recommend therapy after a manipulative relationship? Long story short my head and heart were played with to the point where I have no idea how to proceed on my own. I just want a chance to hear from you guys if that's worth therapy and counseling over because my trust is shaken to the core of me.,8.039945355191259,6.8418338688524605,8.008852459016392,73.8589617486339,62.77049180327869,12.06775956284153,33.448087431693985,11.20814326018867,3.448667759562841,250,8,50,6,3,81,49,61,0.054000000000000006,0.74,0.206,0.836,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,4,2,2,2,0,10,6,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,8,2,10,4,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,3,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285661669658226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4640835437951412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405090800363865,0.0,0.2641276920346218,0.277703996339479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645508319477366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20739096993815886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22153499726207626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516024918400361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5359956651446484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822476504402936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647438796602418,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SpottedFaun,2019/03/31,"Brain feels...blocked? after panic attack; anyone with similar experiences? Morning all -

​

So, seven months ago I had a pair of panic attacks in one week. Never had them before; truly terrifying experiences. Ever since then - and I mean 24/7, no varying in strength, never worse, never better - I feel like a curtain has come down over part of my brain, or that a...door has been closed and I just can access what is behind it. Since then, my short term memory is shot (I can remember things from before the attacks fairly well but struggle to create new memories. Similarly, where as my brain used to be super active (constant stream of consciousness, thinking of random things, creative flow, back ground chatter), now there is kind of a...silence. If you put say, a work problem in front of me that i need to solve, I can engage my mind long enough to solve it, but then everything goes quiet again. It feels like my cognitive abilities are at least 20% lower than the old me. 

I've tried nootropics of various flavors to try and kick start things into reverting back but to no avail. I have no problems with sleep. I walk about 3 miles a day. I eat well, don't smoke. Recreational drug use about 2x/year. (Full disclosure: the attacks happened a few days after doing a single dose of MDMA, so probable trigger. Please no finger wagging; trust me I feel bad enough.) I've tried meditating, but it kind of revvs up my anxiety because there's almost no brain chatter to silence.

I's incredibly unnerving. The closest thing I compare it to is the book Flowers For Algernon, when the main character starts to decline after his peak. The sensation of being able to remember what you had but being aware that you are losing it is nightmareish.  Not surprisingly I've developed huge anxiety issues around this, which does not aide my cognitive issues at all. My doctor swears this is just anxiety and nothing physical. I have signed up to start seeing a therapist, and to possibly start on antidepressants to test if this anxiety theory is true. I'm going to see a neurologist to confirm I did not damage something so I can cross that off my list and hopefully knock down the ensuing anxiety.

Has anyone else had a similar reaction after a panic attack? And if so, have you found anything that helps?  I'm sure there are a few stories out there that are just worded differently than my search words, but I've not really been able to find similar experiences online anywhere. I'm feeling very alone (and scared) in this experience. Anyone? 

Thanks for your time, and have a great day.",5.899370725034199,7.506188866807616,6.350598806118644,74.31033049371969,67.30866807610994,9.539335903494589,31.03650043526925,9.845776108104099,3.223584056709364,2046,81,343,47,34,662,262,473,0.149,0.706,0.145,0.5652,3,1,3,0,0,0,83.0,0,5,1,5,23,32,5,5,20,0,34,10,6,3,8,65,58,28,0,7,17,0,5,2,0,0,3,2,1,0,23,16,1,0,11,1,0,7,13,15,2,2,8,10,36,17,57,47,13,63,0,2,2,0,9,24,0,7,34,238,59,4,0.1318268116671972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05842825728415085,0.0,0.06600275477060283,0.06826641000048843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071417147682374,0.08009200266961085,0.0,0.0,0.2521178752488876,0.0,0.0,0.1382645577656194,0.06753607356245235,0.054241116814899744,0.058676905645447135,0.0,0.37493007351969904,0.0,0.10136668098861223,0.05503494066625386,0.04018020041004738,0.0,0.11217490722531863,0.0,0.0,0.058295051063708324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943246391295842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056778562753830836,0.0,0.07122897553970453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752608164797266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886548014280901,0.0,0.06746516386083806,0.057681265627585715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643862464559631,0.06744586946757719,0.05506219275046796,0.0,0.0,0.13621233598022894,0.0,0.0,0.059622449190190115,0.0,0.0,0.05923871904229538,0.2579038347848619,0.0,0.0,0.13331119386286971,0.09417710059528814,0.0,0.0,0.060243658809879835,0.0,0.0,0.07227064735677015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0374601075102676,0.0,0.0,0.07266976262630641,0.0,0.0,0.05828700709628561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044180366535296715,0.0,0.0,0.06546688445577459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759294169963926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372773382950547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440392135113121,0.0,0.0,0.05833128998881505,0.0,0.07374024113154659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179902212984304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655375009207842,0.0,0.05261145168580585,0.0,0.0,0.04887395523988066,0.15250944603434458,0.06365957808651862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324569059172375,0.0,0.06916503159405768,0.0,0.0446646296451972,0.0,0.0,0.2320055397272253,0.0,0.071377795303279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235312618100556,0.0,0.07430746140616994,0.0,0.0,0.07106579971140776,0.1261404551657095,0.0,0.06626117826761703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222581558622008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933407951782746,0.0,0.0,0.05241698588927088,0.06599081792604951,0.0,0.1050489012239133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904850087178906,0.0,0.06596100770700543,0.0,0.0,0.05074336004835593,0.0,0.0,0.18661539161383636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890700311200793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062122604945050126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068420834621833,0.0,0.07653054444811877,0.17515975202027662,0.04223464899149215,0.0,0.0,0.03843463700313992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425262767426432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385603925321422,0.0,0.054385462823009455,0.0,0.0,0.052871758324362736,0.0,0.11852813545243715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04798574447173445,0.0,0.06717139168423597,0.0,0.0,0.08009200266961085,0.04244607230093945
mentalhealth,ChattyChipmunk,2019/03/31,"Schizotypal personality and homicidal ideation  I was diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder when I was 12, for as long as I can remember I’ve always had homicidal urges directed twords men. I think men are monsters , they are born evil ! It baffles me that other women can’t see it.  

 women who consider themselves feminists yet would date/marry men or worse give birth to male children , really piss me off as well. if they really did care about other women they would abort them or kill them shortly after they are born. 

  I fantasize about what a great world it would be if all male people where to just drop dead one day. 

  I constantly have nightmares about faceless/blurry faced men killing me, to the point where I can feel them stabbing me in my sleep and I wake up in pain. 

 I walk around with a knife wherever I go for my own safety , just Incase I’m attacked . But honestly I wish some guy would attack me so I could have an excuse to kill him. 

Has anyone else here dealt with anything like this before? Or  have any advise on self help books or something for this kind of thing? therapy isn’t an option since I know I’d never go consistently . I suck with fallowing through and I don’t do well with relationships of any kind . Plus I couldn’t afford it with my shitty insurance. 

 I just want to get to the point where i can sleep more than 5 hours a day and I am not hyper vigilant every time time I step out of my apartment . ",4.503436108256253,6.075804848920868,5.1505549845837635,81.71416067146284,70.65467625899282,8.748475505310036,26.547447756080853,9.23628265651192,2.1591289482699554,1140,37,219,24,21,367,170,278,0.163,0.735,0.102,-0.9722,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,7,0,16,17,8,0,7,0,26,7,5,0,2,40,39,17,4,10,11,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,0,14,12,13,0,0,4,1,0,4,6,9,2,1,4,2,37,8,35,28,4,34,0,0,1,0,28,15,2,8,15,147,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265036033990416,0.0,0.0,0.15144076037062928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778570302658455,0.11408906682293032,0.09162982202574996,0.09912322490817768,0.0,0.2533485881269635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474884910544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352658986041085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032750678884943,0.0,0.08890222583431903,0.0,0.0,0.1436203486851895,0.0,0.0,0.11301575957512253,0.0,0.0,0.1276143231130234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930168701962824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381539563580946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05630083636266285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817467427765236,0.106815037567419,0.12656313829026475,0.0,0.0,0.1227614364730934,0.0,0.11025191239044728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463414030497265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096552375516958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695698120783449,0.2319033754240332,0.061193885680995486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543989522865382,0.0,0.0,0.09853937444627472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587835340891566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545220868518764,0.0,0.1184820004117824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719460355844371,0.19444935685387088,0.0,0.0,0.21051948457227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266461290836294,0.0,0.0,0.11954595787094276,0.12613544790470607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872984820717833,0.0,0.11616012828537307,0.0,0.0,0.09210812123536603,0.0,0.22285659852681267,0.0,0.0,0.08572104195579881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733601073619016,0.0,0.07397458720505012,0.07134722877511605,0.0,0.0,0.12985569453668058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656758675871154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023024219087285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804457273956926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347300768626073,0.31639337154148994,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lchung678,2019/03/31,"My story on Borderline Personality disorder It’s half way from mental health awareness day, and here I want to share my story on suffering from Borderline personality disorder BPD and mild anxiety. 

I haven’t been able to share any of my story on my social media because I’ve been scared of revealing my mental health status. So here I am on reddit to share it now to summon strength to open up (and hopefully help others to overcome theirs). 

I have always been struck by BPD, but I never had an official diagnosis until I was 21. 

Background: 

I got bullied a lot when I was in primary 6 (11yr) and secondary 1 (12yr) whilst studying aboard. No one was rooting for me and I was too scared to open up about being bullied. I believe this is how BPD first started develop. 

When I restarted secondary 1 (13 yr) in my home country after refusing to go back to where I got bullied for secondary 2, I made a really good friend in the new school but that friend suddenly stopped talking to me without letting me know why. This may have precipitated BPD development more. 

I started becoming addicted to online games for 2 years until secondary 3 (15yr) when I pointed a knife on my dad because he cut off the power supply. He took me to a psychiatrist and I got told I’ve got social anxiety (I thought so at that point as I barely left the house in that 2 yrs I was afraid of even ordering food myself) 

Recent (my symptoms and diagnosis):

Fast forward to 18-20yr old, I always get bouts of depression and extreme happiness, but each phase usually lasts for 1- few hours. I liked to think I’ve got depression but I was never depressed for 2 weeks or more (depression definition). 

I had extreme difficulty maintaining friendships. All of the friends I made were short-lasting, or either they lasted long and all of a sudden we lost touch. 

I always felt lonely and angry about being left out. But then I am part of something (e.g. party), I felt too much and that people are too annoying and I just wanted to be alone (I was never satisfied). In a-level and 1st year university (18-20yr) I had many times I don’t want to see people and therefore didn’t go to lectures. I was scared of exploring my interests as I always thought of myself as interior and I prioritised others over myself. 

Due to an event in my 2nd year university (21yr), I started to gain insight on my feeling and my past. From then I started to start writing to pick myself up and stabilise myself, it has helped a lot. At the same time I went to see a psychiatrist and finally got told I’ve BPD, which matches mostly with how I felt in the past. 

Now: 

I feel very grateful now that I’ve got a diagnosis. And after starting reading and gaining insight, I became a lot more aware of how BPD affects me. 

Due to the event that had given me insight, my tolerance on stress (exam) has gone down a lot. Exam has prevented me from establishing a life for myself. I have my last exam coming in June and I’m struggling to cope with stabilising myself whilst studying for it. 

Thanks for letting me vent it out here. This has been something I want to share for a long time. If anyone has any questions regarding BPD, feel free to ask here or drop me a message. :) ",4.148673634769953,5.92160589627229,5.443020540469027,78.46627923130356,71.88492706645057,8.213395958059076,29.771739489961305,8.841846274778883,2.5626727681672348,2526,106,459,49,49,843,287,617,0.134,0.737,0.129,-0.8065,1,3,2,0,0,0,80.0,1,0,2,6,24,30,2,6,22,0,38,6,0,9,5,88,84,45,0,6,12,1,7,1,3,1,5,0,1,2,17,30,1,3,16,2,1,8,8,15,0,3,39,9,75,16,87,39,16,99,0,7,2,0,28,34,0,12,57,316,92,6,0.055477196422436516,0.0,0.0,0.06047833284220412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05745764444660487,0.0,0.0,0.18464588643605112,0.0,0.0,0.07545279192276635,0.0,0.08487980683079965,0.0,0.0,0.038790945647633454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518636897839481,0.0,0.0,0.04265853964588466,0.0,0.06763676803679328,0.06127020482662041,0.0,0.0625038027000747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4891011077591181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047788692431248614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03577820217852133,0.0,0.1911297119484493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716334683801633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036642165019118725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415281224328018,0.0,0.15980042565511005,0.06077255697684121,0.0,0.04718887493638557,0.06708324612457638,0.0,0.1285846330165158,0.0,0.028984545393881338,0.0,0.06305793839872785,0.046531640261383296,0.3105912734215477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590565071859594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793933113278013,0.0,0.0,0.07437039070569545,0.0,0.05564815134581458,0.05510137372186332,0.05463386344588279,0.06401323616052061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03048881629974424,0.18088527810822827,0.0,0.0,0.12055227247412648,0.11345838407399172,0.0391851844887808,0.027103355910571,0.0,0.0,0.09819114613658923,0.0,0.0,0.060559913333010564,0.18865891406015,0.0,0.1049877292748036,0.0,0.056245169682061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111815931235924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0407821226585236,0.0,0.12836230182497296,0.05358022200508123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058213985376426365,0.0,0.03759278405697132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007639751217335,0.1059185227216732,0.07692180553770273,0.09688109612170387,0.0,0.0,0.10488776486756296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062147156545979736,0.0,0.055492209339671306,0.0,0.03554011260301488,0.0,0.054777038648311134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666270550820732,0.05614588456566797,0.0884162857836957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310403068917815,0.0,0.08541811235316549,0.0,0.0,0.23560227100418105,0.0,0.0,0.04638142031357333,0.06354894106401998,0.05799681109146535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057662048922037024,0.0,0.04459046904550343,0.0,0.05107594886937453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035547547396486114,0.0,0.08808539419288063,0.09704759810915516,0.0,0.0,0.10602167720932204,0.061637206496109036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110029410003926,0.045774497090533516,0.13088755125819715,0.044035216269190484,0.04450046063717604,0.0,0.0,0.05142791688584589,0.050059540845338736,0.0,0.0,0.05347803764285779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071764868141512
mentalhealth,swayam88,2019/03/31,"My head's about to explode in tunes! Lately, something of extreme peculiarity has been happening with me. Since the past two months a few annoying tunes have got stuck in my head - aka Earworms.

I'm a 10th-grade student and am undergoing an important phase of my academic life. But, with these constant bombardments of tunes and music in my mind is prohibiting me from performing my best in all the spheres. Whenever I begin to read or write something, the same tune starts playing endlessly in my mind. Earlier, it was limited to small scale and the tunes would fade away in while, but this isn't happening anymore. 

I being an avid reader used to read tons of books throughout the year, but since the past month, I haven't been able to read a single book, properly with a focused mind.

 Please help me out!! I'm in a catastrophic situation, where everything I have has been put to stake. The persistence of these tunes in my mind has hindered my progress to an unimaginable extent.

I have been trying to reduce the earworm by trying to meditate and clear my mind of toxic thoughts - but in vain. I read and tried several remedies mentioned online like, chewing a chewing gum, but none of them have seemed to work for me.

Now, it's been over two months and I'm desperate for help!!! Please suggest me a remedy to this psychological havoc these tunes have wrought in my life. Should I visit a psychiatrist or are there any other ways ridding myself of this? 

Please advice",6.385482026143791,7.533220375000003,6.268039215686276,77.03839869281047,65.83823529411765,9.86797385620915,32.75816993464052,9.994966539143718,3.265401307189544,1170,48,210,26,18,368,149,272,0.073,0.7879999999999999,0.139,0.9536,0,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,6,4,6,1,0,19,0,22,6,2,1,2,32,34,14,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,10,2,1,2,7,0,2,3,3,0,2,9,0,24,3,40,22,8,31,0,0,0,0,7,15,0,3,14,140,33,9,0.09816464662297614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592535656504686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675532591279068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735295182258087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922289168848515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030177403533986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608110936982608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822405469177695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851123541552435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736133456299476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20149049587281975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315953868188754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11073399714176196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867318596660813,0.0479582878521586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4955915474703407,0.0,0.23506225316730606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874185255258447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232659111057005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986825831134196,0.0,0.0,0.3927648454819164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936540747927023,0.0,0.11089810922819147,0.0,0.16240562018398808,0.11034117574168906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114388172216686,0.0,0.0,0.06948144213040586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793176432121078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999420540810891,0.0,0.1917851917392306,0.0,0.0,0.08478273666664568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791852730112357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146503187682524,0.0,0.0,0.0697333484796576,0.0,0.0,0.06321481397083394
mentalhealth,theotherhigh,2019/03/31,"I Don't Appreciate Anything? I'm bringing this up because someone just paid for my food at drive thru this morning and I literally didn't feel anything even though I wanted to. I was just like, ""oh okay"". It's like I can't or I expect things to be given to me or something. I wasn't really spoiled when I was a kid and my family had about average or below average income. I've been like this pretty much my whole life. I know I'm lucky to be where I am, I just have no feelings of appreciation towards anything really. I hate it most around christmas time or my birthday because I can't show any emotions when opening gifts. I have all the other emotions and feelings I'm supposed to have I think, just none towards thankfulness or appreciation. ",3.6403153153153163,5.399088797297299,5.165945945945946,79.99234234234235,73.18918918918921,7.636036036036036,30.576576576576578,8.344100000000001,2.3861198198198186,594,27,112,10,12,200,87,148,0.077,0.778,0.145,0.8640000000000001,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,11,7,1,0,2,1,15,2,0,0,1,24,29,11,0,2,9,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,5,1,0,5,1,1,2,7,1,0,0,8,3,20,6,15,19,5,13,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,7,6,82,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014652841536295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4361707504149535,0.15728013156968404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154015157232093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974760534392354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669359896387407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655550410471165,0.0,0.2679998443999069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21363872512368404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744321195078138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709714751596167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479230421219205,0.2589466105689777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12987804252085464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17974418994730465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263678276140732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969798569625514,0.13601471067540055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16266059308865255,0.0,0.0,0.11737645561069192,0.1132075912509665,0.1735844142465459,0.0,0.10302187373706437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104208767467194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19725374143654512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whitesocks69,2019/03/31,"Nothing feels real? Whenever i get away from my computer, nothing feels real. Almost like my computer is the whole reality and when i step away it's like a video game or something. When i look at ""real"" things it looks like ultra fucking HD or something and what the fuck i feel confused. I'm just controlling this body and my hands are not mine. What am i talking about i don't know but whwwhhwwwh fuck. Should i take a break off my pc or is something else causing this?",2.0600000000000023,4.537172043010756,3.3896881720430123,87.32453225806455,81.25806451612901,6.300645161290323,25.429032258064517,7.554174236665415,1.4535083870967749,372,15,73,6,10,121,61,93,0.101,0.8440000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.7351,0,0,3,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,3,1,4,0,6,5,2,2,0,21,18,9,0,1,6,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,4,2,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,6,12,3,6,17,1,8,0,0,2,3,2,4,3,5,5,47,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469731007020012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715277024519404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050851444965064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484427745031723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207064219820425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071240367543253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21919279605730654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4007677337940404,0.07549603367939847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941420750026297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117883005763284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426896170373907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773060407542443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4934227919842738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337327841136275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864709277124253,0.1161447767109072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600032997859766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613306873929526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,forsaken_potato,2019/03/31,Got out of bed I cleaned my desk yesterday so I could sit there opposed to staying in bed all day. It was hard to get up but I’m currently sitting at my desk. It’s honestly a nice change. I want to go back to bed so badly but I’m not going to.  ,-1.7019642857142865,0.13528844642857507,1.6478571428571451,97.49714285714286,93.10714285714286,5.342857142857143,20.5,6.868970318607317,0.3176000000000005,187,7,48,3,7,67,40,56,0.112,0.735,0.153,0.3534,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,9,4,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,5,2,10,6,1,13,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,28,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27268137588199337,0.2960934144454013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37514160667417695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28313571818094385,0.0,0.0,0.22870097001936426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852746433170533,0.0,0.4030781537667077,0.0,0.2836225138927921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31767043086491265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37797840896420093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20916443611984534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ohgeeztt,2019/03/31,"A Faux Test for a Faux Disease Promoted by Real Psychiatrists ""Despite the ever increasing evidence that childhood trauma, sexual abuse, racism, poverty, and other adversities are nearly universal in “serious mental illness,” individuals continue to be blamed, ignored, gaslit, and proclaimed sick and incurable.

For instance, [80-90%](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2468749917300145) of individuals diagnosed with borderline personality disorder report overt childhood trauma. Developmental trauma is a major risk factor for diagnoses of [ADHD](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22806701) and [bipolar disorders](https://journalbipolardisorders.springeropen.com/articles/10.1186/s40345-015-0042-0). PTSD and psychotic disorders highly overlap, with [numbing and avoidance factors](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5054510/) being closely associated with psychotic experience. Psychosis is commonly diagnosed in [economically deprived areas](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29188295), [minorities and immigrants](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28521056), and those who’ve experienced [childhood abuse](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22461484) and bullying, with an apparent [dose-response](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29097400), [causal relationship](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16223421)""

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 [https://www.madinamerica.com/2019/03/faux-test-faux-disease-real-psychiatrists/](https://www.madinamerica.com/2019/03/faux-test-faux-disease-real-psychiatrists/) ",33.30706834532374,39.98350728776979,19.96466726618705,-17.127243705035966,8.496402877697848,19.324100719424465,67.73471223021582,16.373557378465907,13.23031582733813,1359,70,56,43,8,339,112,139,0.332,0.649,0.019,-0.9922,1,1,0,0,2,0,185.0,0,0,0,1,1,10,0,2,5,0,5,7,0,0,1,18,5,9,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,14,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,10,0,0,0,1,0,0,14,3,2,13,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,6,37,3,3,0.0,0.16316584421990815,0.0,0.0,0.1655027004432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29842113609273874,0.3346695745244222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193234262291864,0.0,0.0,0.3156590750696839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456811565130173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347084661681459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549997061272502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878100218983566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024454354944546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609776063801263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4702381862717589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785082727916046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346695745244222,0.0
mentalhealth,AugustNortht,2019/03/31,Need help with Intrusive Though Idk. I have these thoughts where I’m doing extremely cringy awful shit. They always make me shout and talk to myself. Some of them can ruin my entire day. Is there anyway I can cope with these thoughts.,1.730357142857141,4.4814954772727305,1.6114285714285717,94.705,94.22727272727272,4.3324675324675335,15.376623376623378,6.18269132825596,-0.3665285714285713,187,4,35,2,7,55,38,44,0.242,0.705,0.053,-0.8639,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,0,4,2,1,0,0,1,5,1,1,1,0,8,10,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,7,0,4,8,1,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,1,1,1,24,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991051801041899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318263528739266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409430238149392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399468852946157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665400829548312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689875121955649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889258034872004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531743132308524,0.5707529846051539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,i_fucked_ur_waifu,2019/03/31,"You can't win in society People never mean what they say. They always urge people to reach out, to get help. They cry about people dying young due to suicide - if only we could have helped them, they should have reached out.

If you actually do reach out, no one believes you and thinks you're being an attention seeker or overreacting.",4.756666666666668,6.677036730158732,5.057333333333336,81.24600000000002,70.5873015873016,7.5796825396825405,23.711111111111112,8.238735603445708,1.409973968253968,266,7,48,4,5,84,48,63,0.17800000000000002,0.7340000000000001,0.087,-0.8615,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,1,3,5,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,14,10,4,2,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,9,1,8,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,3,3,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.2346906767170651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20011302290708646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709581056566225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920175279362812,0.0,0.26417499574773273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495982321012757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564991526883668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32240054703958104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619720684421537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854863471646913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296719742498572,0.18290903704513467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5001916478313275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191253109131244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26306501647038044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541009616568396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GoodProgrammer2018,2019/03/31,"My mind/brain needs constant stimulation I can never sit still and meditate or do nothing. I always have to either listen to some relaxing music, watch youtube videos, work on something, etc. How can I learn to rest and not do anything?",4.537558139534884,7.154146418604653,4.793197674418604,79.84468023255816,73.18604651162791,7.090697674418602,29.3546511627907,8.07648339933343,2.327981395348838,188,8,31,3,4,59,36,43,0.0,0.922,0.078,0.4939,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,11,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,4,7,4,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,3,24,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26481853799246363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26190157724532664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552843845069258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34392693467353125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35494499691087233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213527512751833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23598640137192206,0.2454624019973097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053798869309469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450127654403547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541635407501143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23169770278377136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ohiobills,2019/03/31,"How to prevent or at least postpone a mental breakdown at work? Hi there. New here. I’ve been steadily heading toward a mental breakdown for a while now, after I realized I pushed away all intimacy after I was abused by a mutual friend, I was betrayed by one of the closest friendships to me, my birthday is today, and I just feel completely alone. 
Paired with the fact that I’m working with someone I don’t really get along with too well, I have to work in a few hours and I can feel myself beginning to break down. Can anyone help me?

tl;dr...I don’t know how to cope",3.371491228070173,4.918563342105269,4.669298245614037,84.14675438596494,73.47368421052632,7.171929824561403,26.701754385964907,7.793537801064563,1.5861122807017545,447,16,87,6,9,148,79,114,0.104,0.787,0.109,-0.2853,0,1,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,9,2,0,0,7,0,9,1,1,2,2,17,15,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,3,2,12,2,21,12,3,17,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,1,8,66,13,3,0.0,0.2488256449303781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21750539494100074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468427749603292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19730983003680846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201898399262229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123731412783559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225198960016135,0.0,0.10972073522679957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21552923333326174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14076422169891656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20681599742558893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541513917651285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4232781994181196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028274472524137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230714506303527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453677578359474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793945852772558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19906343296915427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882279669473115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4586659077042957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alienbobx,2019/03/31,"Extreme mood swings? So I am a 24 year old guy and recently I have been having, I don't know if this is the right term, extreme mood swings. 

Basically I go from ""I want to be as kind and friendly to everyone and try to make someones day just a little better"" to ""absolute seething hatred for humanity to the point where I want a large portion of the entire worlds population wiped out"" and these mind sets will stay anywhere from a week to a couple months at a time. I never act on the latter except maybe be a little less happy in general and there's no rhyme or reason to when/why it happens.

 I have no idea why this is happening and I don't have any other symptoms or traits of any mental health issues I've read about and these swings feel way to extreme to just be regular mood swings. I'm not currently nor have I ever been depressed and I am generally a reasonably upbeat person. I am considering seeing a therapist, I just have a bit more research to do on the ones in my area.",5.2756365159129,5.4025965929648265,6.413178391959798,78.62000209380236,67.99497487437185,9.447403685092127,29.64865996649916,9.2995712137729,2.4066278056951425,778,26,155,14,12,262,122,199,0.063,0.857,0.08,0.2583,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,8,8,0,0,15,0,20,2,0,3,2,30,30,14,0,3,8,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,6,9,0,0,5,1,0,2,7,1,0,1,2,2,14,4,24,24,5,29,0,1,1,0,4,13,0,3,11,105,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919993090401197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485237018178605,0.1541198147790159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562006403465344,0.0,0.09104222550181212,0.0,0.12158851811839605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769530108658952,0.0,0.13489287969821562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137920896300895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906669836515903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022950704357643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397793496777972,0.24967028432038954,0.15027685901448812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500558793724054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159362441270696,0.0,0.1473435958801223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470056269412431,0.07758270454715617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829765353053496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942312992834335,0.0,0.1418230777579523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226499106189627,0.0,0.1425402893017668,0.0,0.1126796241159263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887811495175802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481329541812892,0.0,0.09565966188794002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326318907759368,0.0,0.0,0.13345018698544858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120704587356428,0.0,0.0,0.2902901656750977,0.139387202298691,0.0,0.0,0.12055742108354088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249329114116724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961190305480154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046720414356465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672848106404154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390790798361013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231668794104563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584437822429953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653008300375785,0.11205325716470632,0.11323713114619485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25476584784321665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090810686293327
mentalhealth,Jakarnyo,2019/03/31,"I feel useless This is my first time attempting to vent my feelings to strangers online so bear with me
Ever since I've known I've had this problem with an influx of thoughts. I constantly think about what happens if I hug that one friend, or say that one thing. Why do they react differently to me than they did to them. Why do people look at me that way, etc

My paranoia has recently gotten to the point of where I have trouble functioning. I've lost interest in what I usually loved to do. And when I try to do those things, I feel it like a chore. I love voice acting but I have 0 confidence to get anywhere with it  and an inability to further it, because I feel like I'm bad at it

I really dont know what to do. I constantly look at what other people are good at, get annoyed or sad I cant get there, attempt it an fail due to my lack of enthusiasm, and repeat

Does anyone know how I can possibly get past this? It's not that i dont have supportive friends/bf, but i always feel, even if the opposite is real, that no one is my friend. That I'm the third wheel, but that it is my own fault for not ever making contact, because again, my paranoia forces me to think that people hate my guts.

Anyone?",3.67425230333097,4.376208771084337,4.955284668084102,85.62365698086464,71.73092369477911,8.268462083628632,27.096858020316557,8.4952907291091,1.6884862272619892,940,31,203,15,17,313,134,249,0.17800000000000002,0.7040000000000001,0.118,-0.9473,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,3,5,10,20,2,0,7,0,20,4,1,3,2,34,46,13,0,4,9,0,5,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,26,6,0,0,11,0,0,1,6,10,0,5,5,9,31,10,26,41,3,23,0,4,2,3,9,8,0,4,15,140,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437672016310568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861549013243165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470316430966574,0.13828277364751554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451391531446512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850251498912702,0.0,0.0,0.09925691406565396,0.0,0.2658609719010099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649622228374785,0.07491458208850775,0.205194537646355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28674946642702576,0.16205830921068534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647723717312176,0.0,0.0,0.1752600961289686,0.0,0.2370345861468669,0.0,0.0,0.09513352669678443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029926340127594,0.0,0.0,0.11198137217265823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466823018109735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082514257424993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19049289788152576,0.0,0.12381420683771185,0.0,0.2047367165917417,0.0,0.0757104910037683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305743428944846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827474114842983,0.23589892596454398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722105349330864,0.1278669812630083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853014564054177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909979239229424,0.07266144567724568,0.0,0.11199117072485043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019823347121173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938243774842133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871066445914178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070592041346606,0.14535329209339531,0.0,0.09004490442387933,0.06613765181221698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700652533174106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491901053338593,0.0,0.0,0.09002960993877443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469257643561212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GregorTheNew,2019/03/31,"What is going on inside my head rn?? I don’t know what’s happening right now. I just drove over for a few hours. Got home around 3am.. since then, I’m “hearing” very intense things. I’m not actually hearing anything aside from the fridge running and the clock ticking. Instead, any inner dialogue i have going feels like it’s been shouted with great intensity. Like someone is screaming right next to my head into my ears. If it’s not my inner voice, then it’s just a feeling of general extremity. Sometimes it’ll just be screeching or blaring “noises” though none of this is really heard. Everything just feels like !!! in some kind of internally audible way. It seems to be getting worse and it’s making my anxiety spike. Wtf is going on??

I haven’t been getting great sleep over the past... 6 months. I think last night i got 6 hours, which isn’t bad in comparison to a lot of nights lately. I’ve had immense stress, depression, and anxiety over the past while due to a business I’m working on launching. My gf moved out 3 weeks ago and i love alone now. Not sure if any of this is related by i often worry I might one day lose my mind, or am in the process of losing it now. Earlier tonight while driving Uber i just felt completely empty.

Thanks in advance.",2.7986340433022328,4.987314214574901,3.981256820982221,85.64652349938393,76.89473684210526,7.048688611160007,26.93346241858828,8.04050195162591,1.7844287625418065,989,40,194,17,23,322,148,247,0.15,0.7490000000000001,0.101,-0.8961,0,1,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,4,12,15,0,1,9,0,17,5,4,2,1,36,42,13,0,2,12,0,4,3,1,2,0,8,1,0,13,8,0,0,7,0,0,8,7,6,0,1,8,12,17,9,27,30,4,49,0,3,0,1,5,17,0,9,26,113,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.10524966477053804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956058081161052,0.0,0.0,0.11170391859441056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466884451640571,0.0,0.16501558885429013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875441519655311,0.09601266994330067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005334441912871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308256496859252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955672168771031,0.0,0.09289424405617218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693196184610232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360223219818287,0.15410142672330965,0.10355647718508428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112698225983938,0.0,0.1838872499594542,0.0,0.17252093212844108,0.23781819634651924,0.0,0.0,0.09537468127808002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22137804849856674,0.0,0.24311794385562824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818606693211934,0.0,0.2124283615743542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231304401138448,0.05927357946515695,0.08791517027601875,0.1216636848477575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580756272605248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413214315043533,0.0,0.091693369007969,0.09734218591783576,0.0,0.0719931902191765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441574438984135,0.1089015034243793,0.0,0.08608780388778277,0.11463142714710525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470364622414968,0.20242680489375967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308446648799766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20591714390131285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909384962226625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18421296139183335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981859686499922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921770504804401,0.0,0.10793160260303576,0.0,0.09138410013005033,0.0,0.106670078923049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354606263006547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165084710921457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929720735312904,0.0,0.0,0.07165321378607037,0.06910830367050777,0.10596572437994606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899060770673782,0.0,0.08560925636260698,0.08651374208436782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785187868253869,0.10953067982100603,0.10991214666943053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KomradeVlad,2019/03/31,"I really need some help understanding what’s up with me There is something wrong with me but I don’t know what it is. I have impulses to do things I don’t wanna do, and all of them involve doing things that would hurt me emotionally. For example, texting my Ex who broke up with me for someone else, or my ex best friend who ended up jumping me, and hurting me terribly. Some urges are like disgusting thoughts and as much as I want them to leave my mind, they stay. What is going on with me? ",3.893457142857141,4.824311260000002,4.8494285714285725,85.73900000000002,71.4,8.514285714285714,27.285714285714285,8.841846274778883,1.840071428571429,386,13,83,7,7,126,65,100,0.203,0.659,0.138,-0.8367,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,1,1,9,1,0,0,0,11,0,0,0,1,20,17,7,0,4,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,1,0,18,3,16,15,5,8,0,3,0,0,10,4,0,3,2,65,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239535609188344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827104478689915,0.2400499500843052,0.18901195154475148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648748333434326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128199350775433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14303971033279572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.456905218270142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728085359033225,0.0,0.0,0.2259632448746618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425805597382302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21547646344505905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15687595443504965,0.15823581714165608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367115962062809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18081589410568447,0.16428825951072076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274594865223076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835512938867069,0.0,0.0,0.16941835521290136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216032516997647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587077491787124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159555677730507,0.23332296991812776,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Areingarten,2019/03/31,"I need serious advice. My wife (33) won't sleep and I'm scared. A little history: my wife suffers from a number of mental disabilities, most of them are based around fear,  mostly fear of her body. OCD would probably be the most accurate of the many  diagnosis' she has gotten over the years,  but honestly I believe her symptoms are closest to someone with anorexia,  but instead of being afraid of putting on weight, she is afraid of her body being damaged.  Anyways 10 years ago she had a tmj (jaw joint) replacement that lead to a host of problems (and fears). One of the problems is sleep apnea.

She has had the apnea ever since I have known her (8 years)  and it's gotten a little better over the years, at first she had to use a cpap machine and would wake up choking throughout the night,  now it's only symptom is that she will snore sometimes when she sleeps on her back. 

Well for some reason, three days ago this became her newest phobia. Now she says if she's snoring that means she's being strangled, and she doesn't want to be strangled, so she would rather just not sleep.  She will sleep for two hours every night on her side but no longer (sleeping on her side is another phobia of hers). THis is the third night of basically no sleep and I don't know what to do.  Once she becomes afraid of something it never goes away. (She hasn't sat on anything firm for 3 years now because of a fear of breaking her tailbone)

I know everyone's advice is going to be to get her to a professional, but we can't do that,  we live in a tiny city and the only mental health people don't even know what OCD is,  she went to them almost a year and all they did was say they couldn't help her. We are working on moving closer to better help but that won't be until the end of the year and I'm not sure what to do now, she can't go that long without sleep.  Please help.

TLDR: my wife is scared to sleep because of sleep apnea. Her OCD is causing an irrational fear, and I'm scared her health will suffer if she doesn't sleep. ",4.710017094017097,5.209407353086423,5.082037037037036,86.37108974358975,69.2962962962963,7.514719848053183,26.44112060778728,7.1686216300943375,1.1275109211775884,1578,44,326,13,26,501,189,405,0.193,0.763,0.044,-0.9963,0,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,3,0,4,5,15,22,0,11,22,0,46,20,15,4,4,53,63,20,0,11,12,3,1,0,0,8,4,2,0,0,14,15,1,0,6,0,0,6,16,17,1,5,9,3,47,5,48,38,5,53,0,3,0,0,47,19,0,7,27,223,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630971942004012,0.1055083602607876,0.0,0.05959310402391705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062403973862091365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048973660689742064,0.05297868178508392,0.0,0.0,0.0559138888267631,0.045761386670212865,0.0,0.07255645225899769,0.0657268054112726,0.0,0.06705013128579394,0.0,0.10526781962944416,0.0,0.1322097915114227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061135661044940476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03838059525355355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271035046345753,0.0,0.0,0.03930740001399468,0.0538324018308131,0.050141790650328776,0.05686667905740569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33484015680537715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050621244196871605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03109278939785972,0.0,0.06764457305957093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651786442750598,0.0,0.0,0.11966978596135985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058607757583559024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811942861088654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929418253941247,0.052550567711607966,0.05266662951015154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060336265130464466,0.0,0.06482648503793928,0.0,0.0,0.11994906782212555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06325229685814257,0.0,0.04412771419607025,0.0458996563287013,0.0,0.0,0.1675451576480098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337879772872654,0.040327164068937785,0.09052377242979652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04125842698557216,0.0,0.0,0.0653267790101495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416446721752637,0.11389072005313385,0.0,0.059826431532644775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061188691804558125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465334904811523,0.17874697916587526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0492292986761754,0.0,0.6551095220517072,0.0,0.050424690448304665,0.04581557761330895,0.058859316906729964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608976279238509,0.12371240735488355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05813499850006425,0.0,0.0,0.051399633352803516,0.0,0.0,0.035101974265670216,0.0,0.0,0.07247010934702007,0.0535088234599265,0.05516862062772936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736786067347484,0.0,0.04332575923395895,0.0,0.0,0.12682777244183124,0.0,0.0,0.2682683847938791
mentalhealth,Product_of_80s,2019/03/31,i need constant stimulation feel so restless and want to cry Not sure what this is or why it happens it’s like a overwhelming sense of I just want to do something but I feel like I can’t its so strange. It sometimes feels almost like a neediness of information or peoples attention. I feel depressed and I guess bored even when iv been to a social event I will come home and instantly feel unsatisfied by that stimulation and just want more and more. Is this a part of a severe mental illness like a personality problem or mild ADHD ,5.544521497919559,6.678274825242717,6.3019694868238565,76.08834951456312,67.7378640776699,9.380859916782248,33.16088765603329,9.606745405546679,3.1287237170596387,429,19,80,9,7,141,66,103,0.254,0.609,0.13699999999999998,-0.9402,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,6,10,0,2,6,0,6,2,0,2,1,30,18,12,0,5,7,0,5,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,8,6,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,5,7,5,7,16,3,4,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,5,7,53,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20586428521919267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17152801793531766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475561794993198,0.0,0.18510992512891972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816041246330126,0.0,0.0,0.1475368369018054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313927215278514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4330615618121434,0.12237376649011995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18870165541002049,0.0,0.1514763260011784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718236718989842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347459364390625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262589517455562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270136784455852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18549667806316095,0.0,0.11875495193410213,0.1495689009485992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390696366562685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351551674108355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17461451449502333,0.0,0.1318718893283124,0.16941594386468262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144428110975176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031041344476949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456783223887302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yungstagurl07,2019/03/31,How to get help for someone with a hoarding disorder My aunt is a hoarder but has never gotten help for it. She recently started seeing a psychiatrist after having some issues but did not tell the psychiatrist about the hoarding. The psychiatrist suggested for my aunt to bring someone who knows her to the next session.  My mom agreed to go but every time she is scheduled to go my aunt cancels so my mom hasn't been able to tell the psychiatrist about the hoarding. What can we do to get her help? ,5.1872932330827055,6.776347999999999,5.8502255639097775,77.29157894736842,69.0,8.375939849624057,31.46616541353384,8.841846274778883,2.696984962406016,400,17,71,7,7,130,55,95,0.042,0.843,0.115,0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,0,9,0,0,1,1,10,18,5,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,3,1,10,0,14,15,1,10,0,0,1,0,17,0,0,1,7,53,13,1,0.1945028108698366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22291707219010765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387700699528304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20323938174403866,0.0,0.22108085947272715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3911134025482835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301040113138602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689365816611496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4555986826440156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001255846076073,0.0,0.20685594594635087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920480607400215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499355789944494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3296032009290686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767009063414382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400080595173089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341615316837295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,realityissubjective,2019/03/31,"Looking for advice. My SO is dealing with GAD and I want to help him through it. My SO is dealing with what appears to be generalized anxiety disorder. I say apparently because he has been showing all the symptoms for a while but can not afford to see a therapist or dr. I want to help him as much as I can but to be honest, apart from listening and saying things like “I’m sorry” and “that sucks” I don’t know what to do. It kills me to see them so stressed and anxious all the time and I feel utterly helpless in my endeavors. What can I do or say to help my SO deal with their GAD in a healthier way until we can afford some professional help?",2.4638755980861258,4.033668360902258,4.385604921394396,85.1552084757348,75.91729323308272,7.843882433356117,27.88038277511961,8.575989854853784,2.01863007518797,504,21,107,10,11,172,78,133,0.159,0.691,0.15,-0.3312,3,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,2,0,4,6,2,1,5,0,13,2,0,0,2,23,24,17,1,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,7,9,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,8,17,2,20,21,4,8,0,1,3,0,17,3,1,4,4,81,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345561318150647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013355958958015,0.17740812191552252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572884301671504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4856975216764047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17997903241495114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940307800504612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4210367623174692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373916335061668,0.0,0.08630392001391836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672078304444711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318722805168967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544092159289746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37464851063923255,0.0,0.0,0.2502777405716414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757910661992879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17988637776680094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322250129624996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233309940449485,0.10432899931357023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157005924634384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852500379737577,0.12464937127531885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Xenomorphic21,2019/03/31,Can ASPD be a byproduct of Asperger's? Hi there I'm a diagnosed Aspie and have been one for a while. I haven't been able to feel for people and I deal with major depression on a daily basis. I was wondering if being a sociopath can be caused by asperger's ,0.7761111111111099,3.0156047592592614,3.8718518518518543,83.33333333333336,84.74074074074073,7.303703703703704,21.962962962962962,8.344100000000001,1.6805407407407404,203,7,40,5,6,73,39,54,0.083,0.917,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,1,0,7,13,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,3,0,7,7,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,31,3,0,0.3710914148341048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3812131048694079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3825789541246172,0.31962049183103763,0.3766499746437007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18763496938956106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514611466128911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572680622793295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4024328096876485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TidalSea,2019/03/31,"Panic Attacks and Isolation I'm not sure if there's a better subreddit for this, so I apologise if it doesn't fit here. 

Just a little bit ago I had a string of pretty bad panic attacks. Hyperventilating, muscles locking up, it felt horrible. I have been off my anti anxiety meds for a few days straight now while on a trip - I forgot them at home. I couldn't help but think about how badly I wished I had someone to reach out to. I reached out to someone I knew but couldn't verbalize how I was feeling very well through text so it feels like it backfired. I managed to calm down by calling a hotline, and the person agreed with a lot of what I thought the next steps were - call them for help if I need to, start making new friends, then build a support system that I can rely on.

I guess I'm mostly just scared that I'll revert back into using my medication as a crutch without taking steps towards getting better. If anyone has any insight on the next steps or any other advice I would greatly appreciate it.",5.667835820895522,5.805930273631843,6.323594527363182,79.55912313432839,67.15920398009949,8.491044776119404,32.17288557213931,8.07648339933343,2.2869930348258722,799,31,154,9,12,262,134,201,0.156,0.655,0.189,0.8737,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,2,12,16,2,3,12,0,12,1,0,4,1,38,30,16,0,9,11,0,3,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,10,6,0,1,7,0,0,4,5,7,1,0,9,3,20,9,27,18,4,29,0,0,0,0,8,14,0,8,11,107,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429845053218865,0.11275520020167995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730008388366961,0.0,0.0973077165723432,0.0,0.0,0.08894125671557034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894169189113349,0.0,0.09780901348011947,0.21241351501319955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224996276082278,0.13886954787193834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25977101643808603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203353157943907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863236943753814,0.09087176586829286,0.12213202887218645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827446984394447,0.0,0.0664567942240556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023854234927524,0.14012523387325101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051907091612928,0.0,0.12759205613480468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214353622087145,0.1274879014504627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814096322583594,0.0,0.0,0.08490704420868156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129061880637694,0.128140703127018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943172509992958,0.0,0.12285063435987445,0.2705574660936938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984837850245469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110662075541847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940821531440086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734947493877594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155524378372663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003287458926487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434514863755402,0.11988457440316412,0.0,0.0956386333883742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150467811017797,0.0,0.10098265880093546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986003260145903,0.0,0.1049533912820103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436815218940875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627381979738133,0.1226163424280564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903592905653158,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cj6464,2019/03/31,"Hallucinations and third person viewing of the world along with constant recurring nightmares. I have been having recurring nightmares when I get a normal amount of sleep but not when I get 4-5 hours which I usually do.  This makes me afraid to sleep. Also, I don't feel real and other things don't either.  I feel like I'm getting videogame vision and as though everything is very tunnel vision kind of or far away.  Almost as if I'm observing myself instead of actually viewing what would be viewed from my eyes.  I've had panic attacks off and on for years but they're getting worse.  I keep thinking there are things in the shadows on the way home at night and when I'm alone or there's someone in my car.  I've been turning mailboxes into people in my head and not just like people, but morphed people kind of like the shit you see in horror movies of the super flexible fucks.  I have been taking extremely risky maneuvers to get away from them including driving insanely fast because I'm terrified they will catch me and sprinting into my house when I get home.  I've become terrified of the dark even though I'm a 21 year old man who is not afraid of bad neighborhoods or sketchy people, just these figments of my imagination.  I had a bad childhood.  ",4.925274319963116,6.533465983402492,5.34867911479945,80.5622902259106,69.66390041493776,8.177132319041034,29.156523743660674,8.680891452615391,2.3041616413093595,1006,38,182,17,18,321,141,241,0.171,0.733,0.096,-0.9684,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,2,1,13,14,3,3,9,0,17,6,5,1,0,34,37,23,0,3,13,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,3,2,8,11,0,1,4,0,0,3,5,8,0,1,5,7,21,6,30,29,2,33,0,0,5,1,6,14,2,5,18,117,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.11150699758045582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144207544228012,0.11834497152641807,0.0,0.09137836799874584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299939131844465,0.21471307618758093,0.0,0.1908144425951012,0.06965540847129369,0.1261976663934167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123480802374725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547152372185617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269478823145628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555250555684148,0.08163155414434597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563694751658544,0.3581951782794756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726973939590972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292359511061499,0.0,0.11252885627585556,0.13184746231235947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156474772291164,0.0,0.23798062167960016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674735841192197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762733497069168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723077024862088,0.11195628313477997,0.0,0.0,0.11990279984789005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406636828074642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168702432477809,0.09977254264770592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005956614041392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105509740541927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729226458022746,0.0,0.0,0.2286967654775914,0.0,0.0968170934730243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591370713594114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182632179768776,0.07321695006798569,0.22453125713619296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428844482667672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258477028630119,0.09428130246184137,0.0,0.09069892206214424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644667467066025,0.08117118942002395,0.0,0.0,0.14716693664796554
mentalhealth,aviankorg,2019/03/31,"Deleted soon Hello people

Things be messed up for me. I'm super high right now tho because I'm also a drug addict, you know like in the drug ballad done by Eminem. Shit man I probably don't make sense but I don't see what's real like you do I think like a bunch of damn scrambled eggs these days but that's because I got the demons in my blood son. Gonna have to eat some folks. Lol jk ;)",-0.7765989304812848,1.3301933294117667,1.1671657754010702,100.45770053475937,92.17647058823529,3.561497326203209,13.609625668449198,4.851557810540192,-1.3622941176470582,303,5,72,1,11,99,66,85,0.084,0.703,0.213,0.8898,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,1,4,7,2,0,4,1,6,7,2,1,0,7,14,4,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,8,4,7,10,2,8,1,0,1,0,5,5,2,1,6,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320816705173386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024816375332116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595517001986299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729652487880475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21786052160863556,0.0,0.0,0.4937699360665289,0.21783975581300336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026768855232127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249301157223996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699885043793852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31202209886125165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210581798851693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475912139888056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295315721777585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423155807976674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18180701176720968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964587432624306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21852866389041328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143474578048892,0.13641140214787206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bioluminent,2019/03/31,"Should I seek mental health assistance? I'm not a first responder, but work fucks me up sometimes. I'm twenty-one, and I hate to admit it, but I may not be emotionally secure enough for my work. 

I've had this job for five months. I work for a police department and I handle their case files. I deliver them to the lawyers and the public defenders and victims. And the occasional curious Joe who's trying to figure out how four SWAT cars ended up on his neighbor's lawn on a Sunday afternoon. I sometimes perform redactions, typically for stuff like kid victims and suspects, social security numbers...

Depictions of death.

The insurance company requested the video of a shooting that occured in the hotel they represented. As a third-party, they were not privy to the death video like the family would. So, I examined the video for time stamps to blur sensitive imagery. 

It was a 10-minute video. I spent days examining frame-by-frame to blur it and listening the audio to mute the screaming and sobbing. A robber pulled a gun on the desk clerk. He threatens him violently and shoots him two times. 

I saw the desk clerk slide down the desk, moaning in agony as the robber jumps over the desk and tramples over him to get the money. He leaves, and the man sits there, alone, clutching his side. His moans turns into whimpers, and then silence. The hand loosens and drops. It takes a couple minutes for another guest to come in and gasp for help. 

I spent so much time with this video, that I can remember it frame-by-frame. I can't get rid of that psychopath's in my head. I can't get rid of watching the light fade from the victim's eyes, and blurring it afterwards. I can't get rid of the dripping blood, and the echoing screaming. 

It fucking blows. 

I'm trying to justify if mental services will help me cope with this. It's not like I saw this in person. I feel like this experience is too menial to be worth a visit. My coworkers have done the same kind of work for years and they don't need extra help. They just somehow don't give a shit emotionally.",4.374508760438843,6.151764266497465,4.880479777304732,82.70929670869495,71.30964467005076,8.02803340429016,28.19191092189291,8.654491914285503,2.126098673653184,1627,61,308,29,31,518,213,394,0.17,0.728,0.102,-0.9861,1,1,0,3,0,0,55.0,0,0,6,6,7,18,8,0,35,0,18,8,5,1,0,47,40,26,2,4,8,0,2,4,2,4,1,4,2,3,18,22,0,2,7,6,4,7,9,11,0,4,8,11,34,7,45,26,4,38,0,1,4,2,31,16,4,6,17,190,52,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298032057224792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451075236475212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228523587292278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138514408916818,0.0,0.07657840511547886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151371855290954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671362741074552,0.1051696708949764,0.12269164838625213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615191233297405,0.11193886125626322,0.0,0.060039239492041215,0.08482890796286571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100140761101677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195490945209003,0.24815000465206324,0.11390760841546987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172325881944164,0.1218629736297124,0.12621659737778235,0.0,0.0,0.2387696514056327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783255640237884,0.0,0.0,0.12365093660784247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573003931025248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23204427752434295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393268850632617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947782839912842,0.0,0.08728862045193576,0.0880452726749688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368044472750676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345109034687234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188638108296207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104194390612892,0.0,0.0,0.23487663936043815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359305393601048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927878480049904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771726445071506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612352857862751,0.12915658849771056,0.1159931323919081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34578072806170146,0.0,0.0,0.08435051162166891,0.0,0.0,0.07646559381934688
mentalhealth,Tiredallthetimeee,2019/03/31,"Severe anxiety when boyfriend is angry My boyfriend loves to play videogames (I do too) but there are certain videogames that make him very angry.

Honestly when he plays them I just don't want to be around, it gives me such bad anxiety and anxiety attacks, It's been much worse recently.

He yells and swears (something he doesn't do often) and that tends to trigger anxiety attacks, it sends me into a completely submissive headspace that honestly scares me. He can tend to lash out at me when playing games that make him mad and it makes me feel even worse. 

No he's never hit me or been abusive, though I have been sexually assaulted twice and suffer from PTSD.

How do I talk to him about the anxiety without upsetting him or making him angry? ",8.587499999999999,7.709198750000002,7.718571428571429,75.34642857142858,61.5,11.714285714285715,38.57142857142857,10.914260884657429,4.105214285714286,595,26,110,13,7,184,88,140,0.369,0.508,0.123,-0.9942,0,0,1,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,13,15,4,2,2,0,13,1,0,6,2,24,24,13,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,8,0,0,1,4,0,1,5,8,0,1,3,2,17,7,12,19,1,10,0,1,0,1,16,4,0,3,5,75,25,0,0.0,0.17204587400987592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5554126036097015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12926450734255254,0.0,0.3303865512900742,0.0,0.0,0.12124130292139755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224617811721686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590747686659563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342073345711811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929523803043206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105447139160795,0.0,0.3877056755612019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674343296588013,0.0,0.11199214972148537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973854496385726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337383078326268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453769668749524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404193338021122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117870031727797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167114272920526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266457921917414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981051115565272,0.08564651398103171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997381583285792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959555129250453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dontdoxme2,2019/03/31,"Wanting to withdrawal from study abroad program Hey guys,

I am currently set up to study in Melbourne starting in July, but I'm getting some serious secondhand doubts from this. My original goal of studying abroad was to go over the summer since I'm a transfer, so I wouldn't have to miss out on any school during the year. I couldn't find any summer programs I liked so I chose a semester program and a country I was vaguely interested in because my dad mentioned it.

Now I feel like I have no goals for studying abroad and I'm just going through the motions because other people wanted me to or were happy for me. I love my school, and I worked really hard to transfer there, so I want to spend the most time that I can there.

Studying abroad is also concerning my family a lot, and they say that traveling after college would be better because you have time to actually travel and not just study. I've gone through a lot of adjustment already transferring to this college, and having it be uprooted is not what I want. My mental health is also in shambles from being lonely, and I'm finally starting to gain footing meeting people and I don't want it taken away in an instant.

If I don't go abroad, I'll have to take summer courses, but I also like my school during the summer since our town becomes idyllic and a lot of people get to travel due to having a lighter courseload.

Traveling to Melbourne during July and August is also not recommended by people too, so I probably made a big mistake choosing to study there also. It's too late to switch programs, so all I can do now is either go or stay at home and travel there after college.

I'm also having issues with getting proper clearance for the program, as I just started wellbutrin again, but my therapist really wants me to go abroad because she studied in the same city (she never said this because therapists can't tell you what to do but she hinted it through her actions). 

I feel like I'm doing this for other people, and I don't feel like I'm ready to uproot my life for five months. ",7.845675,6.7831222175000025,8.0515,72.95950000000003,63.075,10.2,37.0,9.120678840339163,3.38375,1637,68,288,22,20,537,187,400,0.043,0.821,0.136,0.9902,1,2,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,2,1,5,23,14,0,1,16,0,31,4,1,2,2,55,65,31,0,11,14,1,4,5,0,2,2,2,1,1,15,14,0,0,6,5,1,13,11,5,0,1,7,6,40,9,50,52,8,52,0,2,0,1,17,14,0,9,28,208,55,17,0.0,0.0,0.08249783981202682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932908555727634,0.4056347025220024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497879710878815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942714515333359,0.0,0.0,0.2576708572015787,0.09336665045854008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476784896493159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969581712591059,0.0,0.1282363300082814,0.18118397114623985,0.0,0.09260830938601944,0.0772670870134312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132504367799066,0.0,0.2402272242181324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370687148276929,0.0,0.08999330554446054,0.07573031196031957,0.0,0.0,0.08986097187326543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479947978093277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823672075007223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536364040107437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971237461455059,0.2065073525310157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21561602741642125,0.07629972103293657,0.0799928174662927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519539796662143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747819929295891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520166531437688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930433866918505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114730808945982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831565783247199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041591968477117,0.06722878207762306,0.0,0.25667385283412697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986301914589108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951135422456,0.09010729373580433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356278442385879,0.0,0.07389078597255293,0.0,0.0,0.19631251998553212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859070648491967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29917964895693033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154537700312655,0.0,0.0,0.06005405873557956,0.0,0.0,0.05444032495113359
mentalhealth,cxtl_,2019/04/01,I’ve been fine from my Depression/Anxiety for awhile now. I think I’m developing an eating disorder now. I don’t want to admit I need help. It makes me feel weak even though I tell others that it’s strong to be able to admit you need support. I feel like a hypocrite and I’m spiraling. I don’t want to be broken again. ,0.8125840336134473,2.8570142500000024,3.1221008403361346,89.98088235294121,82.97058823529412,6.8268907563025225,20.00840336134453,7.957251820313856,0.8142285714285711,251,7,56,5,7,86,47,68,0.124,0.601,0.275,0.7579,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,1,0,11,18,2,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,9,4,6,15,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,32,13,0,0.2666247939167786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20396723756218246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30557511311748503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728237271296368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610316178371233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696270139660207,0.19047680604829947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871297915297107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025940656919224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17797412031490498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3953978125975895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025626564900037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23304182184676325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084240210455046,0.2619575062952156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31452442292465005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ra1db0t1,2019/04/01,"My girlfriend has been asking about death a lot recently I've been dating this girl for about 2 and a half months now and things between us have been going smoothly. However, she occasionally brings up how life isn't worth it and she never asked to be born. She has a very stressful life as her family is toxic and has had  an abusive past that has changed her mentally. Tonight she got very depressing and kept saying she wanted to die. I asked if she was suicidal and she said she didn't know. I keep checking up on her but shes very quiet and not telling me much. I don't know what to do, she doesn't want to talk about it and I don't know what to say. Any advice is welcome.",1.9535439560439585,3.921236321428573,3.1071428571428577,91.96708791208792,78.64285714285714,6.307692307692308,22.1978021978022,7.321109707123232,0.6426153846153846,535,16,117,7,13,172,88,140,0.125,0.846,0.029,-0.8465,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,4,0,20,2,0,1,1,21,34,12,3,3,3,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,7,8,0,2,3,0,2,2,7,2,0,1,9,5,20,1,14,24,2,13,0,1,0,0,25,3,0,2,8,81,27,0,0.0,0.18039804801528567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878245886895006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353906295014123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42701543875514575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610662891368221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113756809243932,0.0,0.15801732645199595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353307624979325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653039452874149,0.0,0.12177275198387995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533181728956695,0.0,0.0,0.25102716994481544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21508533641271907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944230876820145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343788411322892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152900708720042,0.0,0.11192542138145027,0.0,0.1174289434086159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534524584445901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033408594436726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482998917717202,0.242159607671328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17440833245713358,0.0,0.0,0.1665429688173153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122377323988343,0.13307814888703187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115188833692422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314479999654432,0.0,0.0,0.3768805698232439,0.17960865415005642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eyzash,2019/04/01,"Can we control emotion? I have a discussion with my friend about emotion. I believe that we all have power to control our emotion but she disagreed. She said, we can't control emotion but we can control our reaction upon it.  

We can't control the situation and our emotion is related to someone's ability on how we see things. We control our emotion first, they comes to our reaction. This is my understanding. 

I hope to understand clearly about it. Thought? ",3.758809523809525,6.648481071428571,4.907142857142858,76.50452380952382,77.57142857142857,7.542857142857144,39.095238095238095,8.515128840125781,4.130652380952382,366,25,58,8,9,120,48,84,0.034,0.82,0.146,0.8708,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,12,0,1,8,3,2,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,7,2,25,15,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,10,0,6,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,2,20,2,9,13,1,4,0,0,1,0,18,2,0,1,1,50,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043323040463104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443421766384493,0.0,0.0,0.6596161748011515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6615453966959572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337444560599445,0.0,0.0,0.07572881324008812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735443984164092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323799430741224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810801613403999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017684739870637,0.0,0.0,0.08305071670366214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511910442391082,0.0,0.0,0.07781570250103767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040813316743169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mcturtleburger,2019/04/01,"I want to become my old self again how? Starting years ago I joined a new school. Very nice kids made tons of nice friends and it was great, things were at there best. I eventually developed a sense of humor and people thought I was pretty funny witch made me more funny. I was at that school four years. Until we graduated all my friends went to another school then I did. I hated this new school. It made me feel horrible but I tried to be funny. People at that school felt other things were funny so I changed my jokes around them (even if I knew I was lying to myself about how I hate telling these jokes). In the middle of the school year my parents god bless them transefered me to tbe school with my friends, amazing. Truly things were great at the beginning and are still good now but... Well I changed my comedy so much that people didnt find me funny and I couldn't go back to my old comedy for some reason. Friends of mine and one very close friend of mine are drifting off. I don't want that to happen. I love this friend and I'd hate to seem them go because of well what ever you call this. I want to work on our relationship in different ways. (Fun experiences, spending time together, etc.) While I work on my old self but what should I do to if I can speed up the process of me remembering. I know it wont be automatic but how do I remind myself of the person I was that people liked and I liked. I thought my life was great when I had that comedy now its lost how do I find it? Sorry for bad spelling on mobile.
- turtleburger",1.3928863249479877,3.7466330900321543,2.5471278607906207,93.09285748061285,83.05144694533763,5.716701342916587,19.114904482693397,7.048011613610866,0.2089541516928315,1205,31,260,16,34,384,156,311,0.08,0.613,0.307,0.9978,2,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,2,1,3,4,19,30,3,0,7,0,24,2,0,8,2,43,48,23,0,7,6,1,2,2,6,2,1,0,0,4,21,11,0,0,11,2,1,4,4,6,2,2,21,2,51,24,35,22,7,42,1,1,0,1,21,14,0,4,25,179,72,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462515857311987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644639147954431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490017858098306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605881586593968,0.06087194677606221,0.04444171268656702,0.08051694124918964,0.0,0.0,0.07650844119823723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444332101749804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424591565286422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616935334558217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130743430125636,0.04815252464776573,0.06594600647928288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131427923021627,0.0,0.0,0.03686254495432658,0.0,0.06999944764059149,0.0,0.1332662031893083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379535410869454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828662534377469,0.061148568961963475,0.0,0.2411313541506196,0.0,0.0,0.06446892738955264,0.0,0.0,0.21593335903271652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040066231828512884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149437979275401,0.07123460160391612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958352673519188,0.0,0.06579887064135957,0.20695109932697114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359296224658488,0.0,0.0,0.14082262657712824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295020256761943,0.0,0.049401760511065526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095146650372423,0.0,0.0,0.2021703212772637,0.06365711969351184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416976263976333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495764128979576,0.0,0.07827180785982257,0.08258622640648514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.516480470601508,0.0,0.06636922922041838,0.15210992331401962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816102630168623,0.051601955268741284,0.0,0.05822137393446272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06372146846641326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530289721232156,0.0,0.0,0.11575555409369905,0.042511014815120665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049497154034638745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030717061838107,0.129002326310909,0.0578679462762511,0.0,0.0,0.13109923015054215,0.06758290712726289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615022558874933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084370888801476
mentalhealth,quicktuned,2019/04/01,"Im feeling something similar to dissociation but no reason why Nothing traumatic has happened in my life that could cause this
When it ends it feels like when your zoning and somebody starts talking to you and you feel that jolt
I can hold conversations but it takes a few seconds to remember what we were talking about
(Once a week)
",9.490591397849464,8.46819246774194,8.647419354838714,69.87446236559143,59.806451612903224,11.492473118279571,41.63440860215054,10.504223727775694,4.3815956989247296,271,13,47,5,3,85,50,62,0.043,0.8270000000000001,0.13,0.6905,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,1,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,2,0,13,10,6,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,6,1,5,8,1,6,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,6,33,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416558538975349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878196672959264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083524498266518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568326075600578,0.1680552067889649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20802158844899132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540991195114097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166156676005443,0.11492617899967612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22571872660591985,0.0,0.0,0.2505224810258607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418654728544448,0.0,0.0,0.2664805930037715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18109892558149132,0.0,0.0,0.16650378929395507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687089226803834,0.3781533360010459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18869500594800664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21226713661643365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,empathetic_crazy,2019/04/01,"Marijuana vs Zoloft for anxiety medication I have been a daily MJ user for years, as a way to deal with anxiety attacks and depression. I am looking for a new job and have to stop smoking, and within the next year I am going to be moving to a state where weed is not yet legal. I have seen a psychiatrist who has suggested Zoloft as an alternative. I have a lot of personal hang ups about going on prescription medicine due to decades of family abuse and addiction. I’m wondering if anyone can share their experience with this medication and it’s effects. I’m terrified of admitting that I need it, but I know I can’t keep going without some kind of help. ",4.92587673611111,6.143544070312505,6.734791666666666,72.10881944444445,69.234375,11.00138888888889,32.19097222222222,10.980518767755715,3.9253774305555553,523,23,97,17,9,182,88,128,0.124,0.836,0.039,-0.7331,1,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,3,4,1,0,8,0,12,5,0,1,0,21,24,9,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,7,0,2,4,0,0,5,3,2,0,0,2,2,9,2,21,21,2,18,0,1,2,0,8,4,0,4,7,67,14,2,0.0,0.2095495073735988,0.0,0.19280288697688455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705939637211408,0.0,0.0,0.12366422746706415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20120313684977745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233430914857704,0.15232877015173674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300246175629394,0.16672733297764306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015398738372909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854514964118487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755056970066067,0.15720078990322398,0.0,0.1841718831998541,0.09719731888833512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851738020550714,0.0,0.0,0.15035956505127776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35633454359578365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879735875507859,0.0,0.13113902830207275,0.0,0.17081194209495626,0.18809201300652265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442683476812594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478624049025514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403827854762999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048618179180808,0.1917965103465075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277833520722567
mentalhealth,Pbastos,2019/04/01,"Panic attack followed by an intense suicidal urge? Hey there, I'm new here

​

I'm writing here because I couldn't find much info and wanted to see if anyone else experiences this.

​

Well, then. On Saturday I want to a paintball game. As soon as the match began I began to shake, feel nauseous, with a tight throat, so so scared, and with my heart going extremely fast, and so on. I left the a few matches earlier and began to feel distanced, drained, and what scared me the most; an extremely intense need/urge to kill myself. An occasion like this has already happened and I almost swallowed a handful of Tylenol

​

I've been having suicidal ideation for a long time, but very few moments that made me sure I wanted to do it, like this one. I'm just scared and confused. First, did I have a panic attack? I don't think so, actually, then what could it be? Also, why do I always want to kill myself after I've been through something mentally exhausting?",5.391006237006239,6.720115102702707,5.7145945945945975,79.43833679833683,68.24324324324324,8.07068607068607,32.60914760914761,8.384062270229773,2.6347089397089394,774,34,136,11,13,247,111,185,0.241,0.688,0.071,-0.9901,2,0,1,0,0,2,40.0,0,0,0,1,11,16,4,7,12,0,12,6,3,1,1,30,30,18,4,7,3,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,9,1,1,5,1,0,3,2,12,1,2,7,5,14,4,18,20,4,20,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,4,16,92,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.09838839176965976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009593501484768,0.0,0.11126033442249822,0.08062786071740265,0.08389254644201079,0.3277239947573368,0.3675317751380634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049756205428744,0.10330475026599616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294007073203482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06146056988579985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049870591157872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422441180157188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862392733142723,0.0,0.0,0.10195795271493338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215010290329548,0.08575972004701064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729985246635714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915716289407997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947536116468027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230907144494892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095441367520333,0.0,0.0,0.0985137373314582,0.0,0.0,0.08922489903733649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954008575444556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160554762659413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411627055810713,0.07475873965190599,0.0,0.0973751725466418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832005723509464,0.0,0.0,0.23658738288642644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30282327381952523,0.0,0.08034262235143486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761822476406623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22056729533046496,0.0,0.09502418265087707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460310226065316,0.0,0.0,0.05879051546433151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318926995120979,0.2378713154037639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065169757822364,0.0,0.09097678667621513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675317751380634,0.0
mentalhealth,Extraspecialsauze,2019/04/01,"Looking for advice: can I still be honest with my therapist? I have a 5 year relationship with my therapist, she's helped me through so much over the years and we're really close.

Last year I referred my best friend to her but she's not being honest in therapy about cheating on her husband.  I'm her confidant and she tells me ever little detail about her affairs and the lies she tells her husband.  

Here's the problem, this friendship is still precious to me but my friend can be really emotionally draining. I'd love to discuss it with my therapist but can I share if that means disclosing some of things my friend has been lying about in her own therapy sessions?   ",5.404236111111112,6.7407164375000015,5.81291666666667,78.71819444444445,68.21875,9.126388888888886,31.409722222222214,9.444778638647367,2.9170180555555563,536,22,97,11,9,172,79,128,0.107,0.649,0.245,0.971,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,8,11,1,0,4,0,10,1,0,0,1,17,14,8,0,2,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,23,9,16,10,4,13,0,0,1,1,23,6,0,2,7,74,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445012373747701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551851510974012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663388946436869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376093957059346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427423857819218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911715165345507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053744354443488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148209084111905,0.0,0.0,0.12417732603619636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346249802764254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107866736071286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870476268682903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414959132843182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18946436597833416,0.0,0.0,0.15876185868067566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361855128562223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584976391425019,0.0,0.3382147268130061,0.5150810309003739,0.09824123850752216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856789643416306
mentalhealth,ToughActinTanactin,2019/04/01,"I’m a suicide survivor, and now I’m trying to make a difference and end the stigmatization of mental health If this isn’t allowed here, apologies, remove away. I’m doing the overnight walk in Boston and am only halfway to my goal. If anybody would like to help...

https://www.theovernight.org/participant/Patrick-Monahan",7.772884615384616,11.318890519230775,6.619846153846152,66.12515384615384,66.88461538461539,6.467692307692308,29.63076923076923,7.554174236665415,2.147726153846154,265,10,37,3,5,80,41,52,0.086,0.8190000000000001,0.095,-0.128,1,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,2,0,8,8,5,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,3,23,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171087518180564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35263389515118443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989402775247276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587652630958585,0.0,0.0,0.2262308301378415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648939759220675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22529551671470566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401382015894351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566972275351248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691893056807541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22915219126177844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397627104749164,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KLM_sucks,2019/04/01,"I have a habit of writing out wills just in case I wrote the most recent one of the three, one year ago. It may not have been long but I felt great earlier in January looking back at them thinking I hadn't thought of ending it all as a solution in so long. That my mental health felt really good after all this time.

Now I'm disappointed in myself. My self-esteem is plummetting, it feels like I can't trust anyone, and it doesn't feel like my life has any value again. I feel like I'm holding my friends back, I definitely don't deserve to be called a good friend. Along with that, I feel like I'm not worth it for anyone. What hurts the most I think is finding out I wasn't enough for the guy I tried to give my everything to. Not to blame him for anything. But it's such a perpetual situation. Then school isn't going well either and I've put so much effort in. Ideally, I wish some rich family would run over me in the street and pay the reparations to my family. 
",3.0789552238805946,4.223462467661694,4.430029850746268,87.16832835820898,73.57711442786069,8.146069651741294,23.35024875621891,8.648137234880735,1.270654129353234,760,20,168,14,15,252,123,201,0.077,0.66,0.262,0.9929,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,9,15,0,0,10,0,16,2,0,0,2,36,33,9,0,3,7,0,6,4,2,3,2,0,0,1,10,7,0,1,10,0,3,3,9,2,1,3,7,7,22,13,25,22,8,27,0,2,1,0,9,11,0,4,17,112,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102520839476144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458014784380184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739335992357235,0.0,0.10235109589877953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19127539210174388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270021066002341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101604833937529,0.12851396395547246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178139702229206,0.0,0.234501809535,0.0,0.2515535739059724,0.35541780923837923,0.2388415022247133,0.0,0.11367768331882125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218563897295868,0.0,0.0,0.1193130785566988,0.07068591653903387,0.20864187592957167,0.0,0.13712530788937405,0.0,0.12315208966494927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220618892433314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314739967078204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785065768647088,0.24305590730965,0.0,0.0,0.22013822008564266,0.10444476554500863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253420550018541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143089012193896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856119713387946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503253268878198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967864148553443,0.0,0.12280658963719207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587545394598887,0.0,0.0,0.1297516045203018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980417037710535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939061962647733,0.0,0.09874088783009548,0.07252481970766783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444334222593056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118292291048796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430266048110731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835335373477214,0.0,0.0,0.08009425822527677
mentalhealth,icarlywaskindagood,2019/04/01,"Is rocking back and forth behavior always something that warrants concern in non-autistic adults? I'm 20, never been diagnosed or had any sort of concern over being autistic or anything like that. But I never grew out of some of my self soothing behaviors I had as a kid. This mostly consists of rocking back and forth and up until a few years ago, sitting at the edge of my bed and ""bouncing"" while listening to music (luckily I stopped because this was my most embarrassing behavior). But I still rock back and forth. Mostly when I'm listening to music or just browsing stuff when I'm by myself, I'm good at not doing this in front of other people. 

When I was a baby my parents had this baby bouncer chair thing, one that went on a door frame and one that was a standalone chair and they talk about how I'd immediately calm down when I was in it and could go for hours in them as well. As I became a toddler I was a super fussy baby, and one of the tricks my parents had to use pretty often was putting me in a baby bjorn and just carrying me around with them. I apparently also had a habit of moving my crib across the room while I was in it from holding onto the railing and rocking back and forth so hardly. So needless to say my ""love of movement"" has been with me  since I learned how to move in the first place.

Going into elementary school, middle school, high school and now, I always found myself using ""motion"" to sooth myself. Not that I'd even be particularly stressed, just that it always felt good. My mom likes to tell me I'd enjoy cruises because I would enjoy the same motions that made other people seasick, and she told me once that she could tell when I wasn't into a song when my foot would stop tapping. Which is something I usually do in front of other people since rocking is too weird, or just moving my feet in general. Even when I'm dead tired or exhausted, I still have the energy to move or tap my feet or rock my legs back and forth when I'm laying down. This is usually what I resort to when I'm out in public, its not as bad as it was though. I just feel like I constantly need to be doing something with my body and I feel good when I am, and feels like energy is building up when I'm not and honestly kinda stresses me out. Are behaviors like this always indicative of something being ""wrong"" with a person though if they seem to be normal otherwise?",8.017054545454549,6.1130477284210505,8.158033492822966,75.02927990430624,63.29473684210527,10.657416267942583,34.643540669856456,9.095868883498916,2.899757894736841,1881,62,364,24,22,617,215,475,0.058,0.831,0.111,0.9765,3,1,4,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,4,2,38,23,1,3,18,0,37,9,5,5,2,79,62,54,1,7,19,3,5,5,0,2,3,4,3,4,26,28,0,3,7,8,0,15,7,8,1,4,21,9,49,15,62,32,6,79,0,0,0,1,22,30,0,16,38,274,75,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889887096650796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06215696847863938,0.2586950127854929,0.0,0.0,0.052855932368472594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396137557781989,0.06919207826306778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29883014650652834,0.06489745633132578,0.0947613559650436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863353893789955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399353708120745,0.0,0.12411480303203175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888963750650524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267377769492847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790088184147107,0.1110540721822061,0.07462856598269095,0.0,0.0,0.06611317934358184,0.0,0.08522188130110121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834626373296094,0.19557711527763966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962668505621437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212114483132664,0.0,0.0,0.07654385524341706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18986350411448888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015020153384395,0.0735456459152463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103104056419484,0.0,0.33043916738295376,0.0,0.05763239384873538,0.11989322897186855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615438220443653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277500656688418,0.15800621297288273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260970087614058,0.0,0.0,0.16165500232211494,0.06786681491698643,0.08120649238828262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907466718169281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813548758346603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181035196163182,0.0,0.23598674098702946,0.0,0.07075827837281605,0.08108453588767815,0.0,0.0,0.12859049610392154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393472185470843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414319806007715,0.1299638172571442,0.17806834951348688,0.0,0.0889769790297871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062472726484663364,0.13587083824936022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05163729723393701,0.0,0.1527296074326384,0.0,0.0,0.08933390506715612,0.0,0.0742699435947194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342595675772923,0.17120707824575646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06988446250178904,0.07205221775099133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042777787896893,0.08498051540530907,0.0,0.05005260458608246
mentalhealth,0ne_Guy,2019/04/01,How to stop being hard on yourself Just as it sounds. I have figured I am too hard on myself and want to know how to be easier on myself.,2.7119999999999997,3.0021842000000016,4.813333333333336,87.27000000000002,73.66666666666666,7.333333333333332,21.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,0.5266666666666668,106,2,24,1,2,37,22,30,0.156,0.7170000000000001,0.128,0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,8,6,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,7,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8391116552302892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573967281186581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39156737725859786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762490605908314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Opala24,2019/04/01,"My boyfriend has PMS So, my boyfriend (28) is really funny, always positive and active person with lots of friends. He is talkative, interesting and always there to help. The only problem is that he has some days in month, he calls it ""pms days"" when he simply goes to his room and isolates himself and doesnt talk much, he just feels sad. I know something traumatic happened in his life, he ga e me some hints but didnt want to tell me while story because he wasnt ready. I didnt want to push him. He knows he can always talk to me about anything but he always feels kinda bad after it because he says he is complaining and worrying me for no reason. I know his ex cheated on him years ago and that destroyed his trust, but I dont think thats the problem. I am really worried about him and I dont know how to help him. I know every person has bad days, but this is different. ",3.5417156439066564,4.665843724719103,4.5994382022471925,86.47438634399313,72.42696629213485,7.499394987035438,26.051858254105447,7.882392219407189,1.387106655142611,685,22,142,9,13,224,98,178,0.222,0.679,0.098,-0.976,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,8,11,2,0,2,0,16,3,0,2,0,31,27,15,0,4,5,1,2,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,6,8,0,0,9,0,0,1,7,8,0,0,3,3,22,3,15,24,4,14,0,1,0,0,33,4,0,4,9,83,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084784185498472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4162010706947431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290416004529204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20882034423183754,0.15245666079322473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276883748915049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24193757589163706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064893951934378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29311153473524165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535865151529757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264564341098279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661206642495697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057986743277444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676345833483643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34361659046663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832536729839317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063116589590746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981242205920314,0.0,0.09192494586961926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510492614625536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21837484015598851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239308818637608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16021838561899854,0.1285705590666039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944348903154704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626835047425723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20101829851429454,0.1092977938512991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012595120614079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751354613345632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539853951199979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052705537490107
mentalhealth,sarcamstic,2019/04/01,"I don’t feel like myself. Hello, I’m 16 years old.

To give some background: Since the age of 13 I noticed many mental changes in myself. I’m not sure if it’s depression. I know that I have severe anxiety and have seen a therapist for that.

In the past two to three years I have felt like I’m drowning in my own thoughts. This odd sort of empty feeling has consumed me and clouds up my mind quite often. It’s like a switch that flips out of nowhere, I could be fine one second, then the next moment fall into an introverted, upset, recluse state that lasts for weeks or months.

Last winter (November/December 2018) I started to feel pressure on everything I did. Winter break came and things felt normal. As break ended and January came in with my third quarter of school, everything crumbled. I can’t bring myself to get out of bed or change what I wear for days. At times I forget to hydrate or eat, it’s the feeling of emptiness clouding up my mind, blocking out anything that could remind me of how to be happy or how to care for myself.

I know I shouldn’t, but I brush it off and try to tell myself that it’s just the weather or teenage hormones getting me down. But as I look back, this has been happening to me since 2015. Feelings of emptiness, sadness , a lack of sympathy towards myself and others, it’s all been happening for a while.

Please, can someone just help me find a way to solve this problem. Help me know if I can actually bring this up as depression to a doctor or a therapist. Please.

Thank you.",3.2686999999999986,5.076597803333335,4.036666666666665,87.49500000000002,74.3,6.8000000000000025,26.666666666666664,7.554174236665415,1.4178666666666664,1191,44,237,15,25,380,165,300,0.13,0.7609999999999999,0.109,-0.6378,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,1,6,14,0,2,13,0,17,3,1,2,2,55,45,23,1,8,13,0,7,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,19,13,1,1,12,0,0,5,4,6,0,6,9,10,33,8,45,31,4,45,0,3,2,0,6,16,0,11,23,162,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.10134744536203236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944874889509006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546377097145616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985804235660288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23756478031235675,0.10588703830805216,0.0,0.21972952291743789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165839446144984,0.0,0.0,0.06697784801667711,0.0,0.1789002244226736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629993723083857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626953646286937,0.0,0.0,0.09198465575961523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18667625646979516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262560904191643,0.07419399367732551,0.19943406824679485,0.0,0.09492153851809723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851984493448323,0.09962712690202527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18367717029455494,0.1105555204523824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392235613397395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122788569504255,0.16931128351748828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221484108080105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721199752012125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529261386137624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046613579239444,0.0,0.20972777808286108,0.0,0.08289602650873908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104509125408825,0.0,0.10175579590645413,0.0,0.11823954357605855,0.10897829481572044,0.0,0.07037479872600039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914129672594384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22800308578099684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937515674046836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110462518090119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510674919990136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732652706012382,0.0,0.17181976792791898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799595813516836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350906482558099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788205687747926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907737997888669,0.09561568028519432,0.0,0.24116719223739155,0.06899661091586268,0.0,0.0,0.0824492258624673,0.060558653786883236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705106906446644,0.0,0.10145119084953597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243522153357237,0.08330617269020311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337583595169956
mentalhealth,Htghfrp,2019/04/01,"Depressed because of Undiagnosed skin condition  

I've been dealing with a skin condition for a few years now and no doctors have been able to diagnose it. I have been to MANY dermatologist and no one can figure out what is wrong. My skin is darkening all over my body and at this point basically my entire body is affected. I am also forming random scars on my body when I have never injured the area. It is very severe and doctors are baffled. (My race is black)

My entire life is being ruined by this. I am sitting here crying right now. I don't even shower with the lights on anymore. I hate my skin and I feel disgusting. I think I am a pretty girl. I actually get complimented a lot on how pretty I am. But it doesn't even matter because of my skin. I haven't worn shorts or a skirt (without tights) in years. I haven't been on vacation in years. My life should be great right now. I have a great family and friends, a job, and because of the gym my body looks great right now. But I am deeply miserable. I still try to have fun. I still go out but it's just hard some days.

Men try to talk to me and often times I end up in ""talking"" situations with them but then I get scared and back out because I am terrified of having to explain my skin condition. Who would ever want to be me? No man in the world is going to want to be with me or sleep with me. I would really like to get married and I love the idea of love so the thought that I will probably never experience love is hard to deal with.

Everyone loves summer and I dread it. It takes so much effort to get dressed in the summer because I have to work around my skin condition. I have this great body I have worked for and I can't even show it off. I'm really getting to a dark place. Every day is getting harder. I'm not suicidal but I fear I will be eventually. I have let thoughts creep into my mind about it. Im smart and funny and I know it would be a sad waste of life but I just don't know how long I'll be able to live like this.

I just don't know what to do. I feel stuck. I can't fully live my life.",0.7852701325178408,2.830785009174317,2.8574740061162096,91.83288786952093,83.08256880733944,6.169133537206933,20.23934760448521,7.3871296695380915,0.4928950662589196,1608,46,364,25,45,542,194,436,0.114,0.723,0.163,0.9832,2,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,1,3,24,24,2,4,16,0,54,25,13,3,4,69,84,29,1,6,13,0,12,2,1,6,8,0,1,3,17,25,0,1,11,2,0,2,15,10,0,1,8,15,55,14,51,62,6,51,0,4,2,4,15,26,0,6,24,251,72,5,0.14345484639139805,0.0,0.06999561823381513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057360394415196275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113433007657123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385261374097785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05515396096788718,0.0,0.2186218571511283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3983649869017176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878920632015668,0.09251650819911318,0.14789564754836448,0.06177872449523277,0.07280182469323764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14683211398391538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352920712425754,0.0,0.0,0.1421258596299595,0.06488156075298568,0.060433447620772025,0.0685386266746827,0.0,0.07016318329881344,0.06761823101171614,0.08071329250582386,0.07253508067134179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055416429233430806,0.0,0.22484770907721024,0.0,0.08152869512246391,0.0,0.0,0.3163189491732259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850736496325774,0.07081598063146187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097153009598597,0.07747792553897244,0.0,0.071178399798768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825854786255448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334614989920524,0.20265280094014385,0.07008479176265464,0.0,0.12667325757822612,0.0634765123978172,0.060232970471239336,0.0,0.0,0.06098009020405665,0.2589471994387637,0.0,0.0,0.07272034905620245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242425023775585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05272790911192833,0.0,0.11064122124780236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860435827770843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493989083568782,0.0,0.0678055992719922,0.0,0.0,0.14594515172827374,0.07733429377795263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190084796960928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376448249143496,0.0,0.0,0.07181166356904141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103157181183752,0.0,0.0,0.08062462893318954,0.07177922388291247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456322563634995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845815914422362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053930095655208926,0.1153035715564039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04596003655739432,0.0,0.11388712397293185,0.041824837282069774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973964240763295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059182636039897984,0.08461338518855466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914267636158812,0.0,0.10443683671191226,0.0,0.0,0.15285931043374784,0.07842267730496459,0.0,0.13857032658625562
mentalhealth,NigarooBlack,2019/04/01,"Cynical by 3rd grade? I just want to know if this was an unhealthy thought or meant anything significant.

I grew up poor and my parents fought a lot but that’s it. Im relatively blessed. 

I remember in 3rd grade, having a specific thought that stuck with me. In essence I had prayed to God (I was never religious and neither is any of my family) and said give me all you got, continue trying to keep me down because fuck it, I’m still gonna do me and come up on top. 

Idk why I felt like this in 3rd grade, I guess I just wanna know if it’s normal ",2.3244541062801933,3.5624247304347847,4.066376811594203,88.66729468599036,75.6086956521739,7.893719806763285,26.690821256038646,8.515128840125781,1.653879227053141,424,16,97,8,9,143,79,115,0.13699999999999998,0.73,0.133,0.1154,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,3,5,3,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,2,27,24,8,0,5,6,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,1,7,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,11,2,15,2,14,12,3,13,2,0,0,1,5,8,1,5,4,60,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640099334205653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716098270366734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123556828975388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854487253331661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20295127598875196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067070942083334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990272563751792,0.0,0.206520722234462,0.0,0.0,0.17218285876337064,0.0,0.2371603926232582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325444427313019,0.0,0.0,0.19135495258943014,0.0,0.0,0.2366297059849017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051772406850764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302737193284627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604084943677827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21093331821974104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23904820647734296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24387562270158264,0.0,0.20478507026345805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17192665703023113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418240433558641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616419453215002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698050683083892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19426097614801546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grudgemp,2019/04/01,"What should i do. I need help. One time i was with my grama at some people's house it's mostly a blur. I think they where friends. I was getting sleepy so one woman told my grama i would sleep in her room. I was wearing a summer dress. She asked my grama permission for me to change so i would be comfortable to that's what happened. Then she left. After away i was woken up by that girl touching my body. I pretend to be asleep. She then got me to stand up. And made do things to her then she would do them to me asking if i like it i would say no. Then she got dressed and left. I never saw her again. I was far too little to even remeber her face.

When i was little i would spend the night at with my cusin. He's touch would wake me up, explore would explore my body especially my privates. I would pretend i was asleep hoping everything would blow over. This had become a regular thing but i was far too little i didn't know it was wrong.

 Then my step dad came in my life. And would try to bath me and explore my privates and ask me questions ""what is this"" while he would touch my vagina, My mom told me to tell her if things like this ever happened. But I never did. I was scared I didn't know why. Again hoping it would all blow over. 

Years passed. I started spending a lot of time with my gramma and her husband. When we would play he would show me his privates... When i was 11 i obviously started growing breast and developing different. I still had a mind of a child. He would make jokes telling me infront of my grama if i wanted to have babys with him and if i wanted to marry him. That was weird and uncomfortable. Then one day it was me and Armani at my tia Ana's house. We where playing with him. He would pick us up by the armpits and swing us around kinda like an air plane. But he would always grab my breast i didnt know why.

Time passed. One day i went to see some guy i would go to school with. We where having fun until he started been rough with me and hurting me. I didn't like it so i slapped him. He then slapped me back twice as hard. So i got up to get my shoes from his room wiping away my tears so i could leave. Walking in the middle of the hallway he hold me down and undressed me and tried to choke me so i couldn't breathe then raped me. 
I was just glad i left that night. I had no one to talk to in that time. I felt alone in my life. So i decided to put it on the back of my head and never to think of it again.

I moved back to my mom's. And one day i was just coming out of the bathroom that was inside my room to put on something else. i had no panties on. I just had my blause. My step dad walked in my room. And told me he knew what i was doing. I told him to leave. Thankgoodness my blause was a little bit long. He told me to sit down in my bed he wanted to talk i didnt wanted to I just wanted him to leave so i could put my clothes on! I keeped telling him to leave. But is like he didn't care. He then touched my leg And would constantly tried to look under my shirt. Asking me what was i hiding. I just hold on to my shirt thight pulling it down. I felt like mouse. In that moment. No where to run or how to get him to leave.

Then i continued to live my life as normal as i would be. Always denied the word rape. 

Untill one day me and my husband where having a funny discussions about his first time, but then he asked me how did i lost my virginity..........m. So i took a look back into my self.. I didn't know how to answer but. Something that i kept denying all my life that I had buried in the back of my head. Is like my concise talk to me. I dont remember having that moment. Thats because...

""i never did. My parts where exploited before i could even got to understand them. Then my first time with a boy i was raped.""
 But all i told him was ""i cant remember"" 
He knew that was a lie. 

But still then i dont even know how to approach the situation now or ever. I think im too late do to anything i always was. Even if i did or ever thought about it. How would i began?
Would they believe me?
who would i hurt? 
Who would know?
Who would understand?
Who would think im lying?
Who would puch me away after it comes out
Who would feel sympathy?
Would i be the mole of the family?
More than i already was. 

Today i realized why so many woman never come forward and report. Because we are alone. 


",-0.2810008598620328,1.8543762570498927,1.509980066834732,99.03121406656116,89.03253796095444,4.407121221004084,16.549256414766177,5.84024940220584,-0.7013374294033728,3327,76,792,25,111,1083,308,922,0.092,0.83,0.077,-0.9,1,2,2,0,1,0,114.0,6,0,4,3,53,26,3,1,23,0,96,26,19,8,12,163,164,73,0,48,21,6,10,7,1,30,4,1,6,7,40,40,0,4,27,7,2,25,20,9,0,10,66,15,175,17,104,60,10,150,0,3,4,6,90,57,0,17,75,566,215,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015810803222726,0.03737633254327583,0.0,0.08454753610064875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027872083307597162,0.030151436740562688,0.15831915778384986,0.0,0.09546580011473564,0.13021950611612093,0.0,0.04129361484080499,0.03740669923718677,0.028820833187077906,0.038159835688460535,0.0,0.0,0.036977213643256825,0.07524375901632921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03873820024878437,0.03453267179027775,0.0,0.0358299165732978,0.08752788976824824,0.0,0.036601383908306515,0.0,0.08112719821681906,0.0,0.0,0.08737326417800582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0353868893612234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939065933741213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02829399749782516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948313132937469,0.09191192780024783,0.0,0.0,0.030440127510955844,0.0,0.03192957492905429,0.0,0.017125664622010827,0.0,0.06504092788515267,0.0,0.0,0.05761952508830748,0.0,0.0,0.0261678396940446,0.0,0.05308695352709712,0.0,0.019249073369944303,0.0,0.1083555737917807,0.0,0.0,0.033536575964372,0.05990217063863685,0.0,0.030340822860470195,0.0,0.0695206812704566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022702313833879426,0.0,0.0,0.0672810061661176,0.0,0.07816275068874066,0.07251696492793927,0.0,0.07317071718175147,0.0,0.0,0.030105168183758874,0.0,0.0,0.1116842339257391,0.0,0.03820677937065197,0.17931693542063026,0.11039940077464344,0.0,0.09569339060467122,0.11583002864342737,0.13578635319563329,0.029907786767229664,0.029973840316673918,0.05688445601387347,0.0,0.036973051914685064,0.028795020665559112,0.0,0.03204856605009648,0.02260845492502897,0.034338813650044764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034198994709671166,0.07933615321001126,0.0,0.03599839715057866,0.0,0.025114139088735245,0.13061296898841038,0.0,0.0,0.06356930815435878,0.033185360162527607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606580848686288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03667785572695139,0.0,0.023481159012545504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214596541422534,0.03794209599821337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673610259884764,0.0,0.0,0.026934744032364438,0.03390972905384725,0.0342781980784443,0.02698996534562661,0.0,0.03533374507353347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03807124339297528,0.033894410915921554,0.0,0.0,0.05214948517382545,0.0,0.0,0.0719199757532269,0.0,0.05409717235040027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816701495849514,0.08881148869644839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750507023722638,0.08680998654029425,0.0,0.02688895734138736,0.11849904286865698,0.0,0.0321047527103966,0.19418513467747275,0.0376307611790222,0.06898641920612225,0.0,0.0,0.07051962579777593,0.08148276017131273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988687155653232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03139778338896713,0.09168708642245328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6977469895276962,0.03703147381527988,0.0,0.021811137615202945
mentalhealth,morticianshagger,2019/04/01,"Derealisation or something else? I like it Occasionally I feel like I’m in a dream. Surrounding that are familiar to me look different and feel more interesting. I’ve experienced this for as long as I can remember on and off. But since December I’ve been experiencing it nearly 80% of the time. This was when I started a new medication called Venlafaxine. I told my doctor and she said this was derealisation/depersonalisation. But this is a negative thing. I have read peoples accounts of this and they all seem like they feel disconnected from their surroundings and numb. But it’s nearly the opposite for me. I feel like my surroundings have become so much more interesting. Like I’m visiting a new country for the first time. 

The only way I can try to describe this would be to imagine you were going on holiday somewhere, and you looked at loads of photos and videos of the exact place you were going to be, so you felt like you knew exactly what it would be like to be there. But when you get there, it feels different to how you expected.

I know that doesn’t make too much sense. But I don’t really think there’s any other way I can describe it. Sometimes I even have the ability to make everything feel like a dream on purpose.

Does anybody know what this is? ",3.8449075820445096,6.2131748506224085,5.231650320633727,77.06551395699735,74.35269709543569,9.029121086382498,27.137118068653336,9.573946990214177,2.7120356846473026,1013,39,191,28,22,338,125,241,0.025,0.8270000000000001,0.14800000000000002,0.9764,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,7,3,1,10,11,0,0,11,0,22,3,0,3,3,36,46,20,0,3,6,0,7,8,0,2,3,1,0,0,19,7,0,0,14,5,1,3,3,1,0,1,9,12,27,10,25,31,5,26,0,0,2,0,15,12,0,2,17,134,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790040644470265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830791512021655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862928678349792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427596173476125,0.0,0.11891166175845805,0.10166691601395066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705063273141114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673354140724817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044120271654855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524542449627025,0.2489897353798571,0.11154774444963717,0.0,0.0,0.09881974733215927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069747278828092,0.0,0.13205166574218058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769523016850792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4540641049903122,0.0,0.0,0.1028126254816798,0.1951181500299806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509755068878514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703569111234673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080632086343667,0.0,0.0,0.22440814737291045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835753112148131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054221887909563,0.0,0.12137980867380628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620802812616565,0.0,0.07442569784342111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160542816781345,0.0,0.11051054039696463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057628034211166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610247503200844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943841415703334,0.11490161723891415,0.0,0.08223038771639261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718256354084464,0.07444126728459306,0.0,0.0,0.13548700673295053,0.0,0.0,0.11101170951501643,0.0,0.07887627796134929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18443113769101868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650570312424535,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,euebrfisosfb,2019/04/01,"Help I think I'm going crazy So for the past couple of years now my dad and his fiance have been having really loud sex, when they know I'm awake and can hear them. Sometimes his fiance will walk past bedroom door and poke her head in to see if I'm awake, the proceeds to go back into their bedroom and do it.

I keep shouting through the door that I can hear them and it's nasty, but when they finish my dad will call me in and have a massive argument with me about how it's weard that I tell them to stop and if I don't like it so much I should just move out. I already suffer from really bad depression from stuff that happened In my past and I'm near to the breaking point. 

He always shouts at me about it and when I retaliate he says I would go to the doctor and get pills to make me happy.
Please tell me I'm not the only one that has to suffer this abuse, and any advice will be so much appreciated.",4.625810684161202,4.0406090412371185,5.399522024367387,87.76295688847236,69.41237113402062,8.291658856607311,24.852858481724464,7.348242739294969,0.8270474226804123,710,14,165,6,11,232,110,194,0.184,0.748,0.068,-0.9802,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,6,0,12,6,0,0,7,0,15,4,1,2,0,27,32,21,0,4,5,2,0,1,0,5,2,6,4,0,11,14,0,2,2,0,0,5,2,4,0,1,1,7,26,2,22,25,2,26,0,3,1,1,20,8,0,2,13,109,37,1,0.0,0.17023339552245698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039920856181085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855081139334504,0.0,0.11955052424815488,0.0,0.0,0.09770508300468128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047851380306714,0.11996404326843392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670997489932364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897553597188713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374853133134665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705919073473706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506514580562919,0.0,0.24496433922517855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705283146737112,0.1529465189963289,0.0,0.0,0.14745374511111614,0.0,0.3238681664090878,0.0,0.09630346355411763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770645266336614,0.0,0.0,0.07896095694723164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019317831627478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590531303634002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527055943885256,0.2112378125669257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735905042249833,0.10927260480505524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114670030307426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771387149158578,0.13582092208132834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840859463717497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425747874163025,0.0,0.0,0.1144917281563845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209993027925485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201201547651504,0.0,0.0,0.16447544735388334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25115953752407505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920622280628573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206380552018016,0.0,0.0,0.09252308428865574
mentalhealth,Gourgeistguy,2019/04/01,"As a third worlder, where can I find free or affordable psychological or psychiatric guidance? Hey there.

I'm having some horrible weeks, and I find myself in a situation where I can't go looking for help: I'm broke, I moved to another country with my wife, and I don't speak the language.

I'm unemployeed, my mom has cancer, I'm having self destructive thoughts constantly and I'm on the edge. I asked for help in another subreddit the night I had a strong crisis but no one was there to read or reply anything, and the services I've found (7Cups) are far beyond the realm of my ecnomical possibilities.

Any ideas where I can find some help? I really, really need it.",4.3711627906976736,6.06313576744186,5.814643410852714,76.35080232558141,71.1705426356589,9.811162790697674,29.17906976744186,10.125756701596842,3.0830427906976734,530,21,101,15,10,179,82,129,0.121,0.7859999999999999,0.093,-0.5439,3,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,1,0,8,0,10,1,0,0,0,18,21,9,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,5,0,0,6,1,1,2,3,2,0,2,4,2,13,3,11,17,2,13,0,1,1,0,9,8,0,5,3,61,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565028657590765,0.3566567472605506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399493128566278,0.0,0.1589881681922967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837802532031368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4663100144038248,0.0,0.0,0.186467905367784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966520715915138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419737074810905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19198310759067466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281208267619389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991785114140147,0.0,0.18075257918701268,0.0,0.12610132043829902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959483359732926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524069921296418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917231571651055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701113967905232,0.0,0.21789646759186496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774152756763759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19116060660567996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350129110131004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364161853869441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,woweekazowee,2019/04/01,"Therapy advice? After seriously struggling for a few years, (with the last seven months being significantly worse) I have decided to go to therapy. I have my first appointment next week. 

Mental health is NOT talked about in my family and I have no idea what to expect. To those of you that are in or were in therapy, do you have any advice so that I can make the most out of it? ",3.576666666666668,5.3196313513513545,5.325405405405405,78.84909909909912,73.32432432432431,9.257657657657658,23.144144144144143,9.725611199111238,2.1182144144144157,296,8,58,8,6,101,55,74,0.097,0.903,0.0,-0.7236,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,0,10,1,0,1,0,10,12,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,1,0,8,0,14,10,2,12,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,7,49,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36854729804935776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282377041719952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17777205671526036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604020959355808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717171683122373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20044677831841767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21287861609468772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371407864440495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587551009078524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19003959888225253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051904484271228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20055202351474527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19713989937653573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156972280630568,0.0,0.0,0.6469570399118185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512637706646833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19217439156491967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214363423806798
mentalhealth,dziurawniebie,2019/04/01,"My mood swings are getting worse and worse Hi. I'm a girl, 19. 
When I was 13-14 I've fallen into eating disorder and autoagression, it never got serious but I still suffer to this day (mostly by having thoughts about hurting myself which I have to fight off). I had suicidal thoughts ever since I can remember. 
Recently I realised how often my mood changes. I started a diary and it shows how I go from low to happy to low again every few days. I know people do that and its normal, especially when you're growing up because hormones etc, but during the low time I'm so self destructive. I often dont eat anything because I want to punish myself (I didnt do anything) or I skip classes because I cant get myself to leave my bed (my academics are terrible). My suicidal thoughts are getting worse and I feel completely worthless. When I'm in the happy state I'm like a normal teen I guess - joking, laughing, studying etc.
I can spend hours with my friends but the second I'm alone I feel like a total piece of shit who deserves to get hit by a train. 
My friends dont know about anything that's going on (some know about the ed but I dont think they took it as seriously as I did) and I dont want to tell them because I dont want to feel bad or pity for me, they have bigger problems than that. 
I was thinking about starting therapy but I dont have money rn, and I'd have to hide it from everyone. 
I dont know why I posting it here, maybe to vent. ",1.6312196250867856,3.694900409395977,3.5041633881046046,88.24191275167786,80.14093959731544,5.98953945845869,25.04096274010646,7.0983637204850245,1.1214462855820415,1134,44,232,14,29,381,158,298,0.248,0.634,0.118,-0.9929,0,1,0,0,1,1,33.0,0,0,3,0,16,26,4,0,9,0,25,3,1,2,3,45,57,22,2,6,7,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,12,9,2,0,13,2,2,5,10,16,0,1,10,3,40,8,30,46,7,30,0,7,0,0,11,9,1,7,16,151,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973847192198834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19006875138730284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428347515290432,0.18772967743248867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814452634707513,0.0,0.08072260172317475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930442493104398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823726641606504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6316223493762857,0.0,0.0,0.15756008170800298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172851237629927,0.0,0.06964190720792457,0.06486743695152407,0.07356729128648759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167854464074476,0.05500170648682072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896464196236255,0.0,0.16089649210798224,0.0,0.08751043832188528,0.0,0.06157597546970615,0.0,0.08481321905930789,0.0,0.0,0.16391467786099193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581968993556064,0.0,0.08241943994724239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169246870167889,0.0,0.0,0.08152134555057781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522689818149772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734685252407338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059379472180440186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086780323809548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337520612036843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373518505800025,0.0,0.0,0.07366907929086787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601838537406523,0.0,0.08721471735911603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031741215571084,0.0,0.07902917906240818,0.06368696423935183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898790608957086,0.0,0.06148435269291873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684292355305329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729269641952854,0.0,0.08804483093748815,0.0,0.0,0.09866422953013156,0.0,0.1833644974285397,0.04489351678936624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553877742250887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623217717320113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947154431005458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23537831254357786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nightmare17121,2019/04/01,"Crippling Depression How does anyone deal with crippling depression. Most days Im afraid to leave the house let alone have the ability to get out of bed. Some days I just dont know if its worth living. DEPRESSION SUCKS

Hell im afraid of being around anyone all stems from waking up during surgery in the hospital and having some other bad experiences in the hospital that would rather not go into detail. I literally fear being in groups now if im around anymore then 1-2 people I go into full blown panic attack.

​

I will not become part of the 22 a day, but dammit does life suck. I know I need to be stronger but what happened to me in the military destroyed me physically and mentally in more ways then one.",3.501621472053128,5.882068215827342,4.3699280575539605,82.77655229662427,75.47482014388491,7.442390702822357,24.36137244050913,8.384062270229773,1.723257443276148,578,19,106,11,13,186,95,139,0.212,0.7440000000000001,0.044,-0.9688,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,6,13,5,4,7,0,9,2,1,1,1,25,18,9,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,1,2,3,13,0,1,0,0,8,0,20,12,7,21,1,3,0,0,2,12,3,5,6,70,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636538519429306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265913284608006,0.1599875662854644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057644733277188,0.18412666569393232,0.0,0.0,0.2344197927001973,0.0,0.14978811364497582,0.0,0.0,0.10993489892093457,0.0,0.1454138115578287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547393842172195,0.13574098618808594,0.3402089971180236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23044211657662336,0.0,0.15431057286211447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879377930255664,0.0,0.14815989658715467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878960555006967,0.0,0.1496566756629131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164310555432842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519239030878587,0.0,0.0,0.42666286107012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471944399657108,0.0,0.0,0.13941438078268614,0.0,0.13463653441405687,0.09299898783159696,0.0,0.0,0.11626273789905048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268750120808634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762803891704984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921971180386049,0.0,0.0,0.15448068233404286,0.0,0.14258052460619214,0.0,0.0912800354332064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450966597216613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935311434797175,0.0,0.1599875662854644,0.0
mentalhealth,jbowman12,2019/04/01,"How do you put your health first without worry of being fired, For about 6 years since gaining debt (car, paying for rent, utilities, etc.) I have been afraid of missing time from work. I will put off doctor's visits, ignore things that I should have checked out, and self diagnose things based off of endless reading.

I have anxiety of losing my car, my home, not being able to provide for my wife and son, and requiring a costly medical procedure that I cannot afford if I do have things checked out. This anxiety stems from the fear of being out of work and being fired by my employer. I'm sure the male mindset of just toughing things out also comes into play, but the fear of being fired due to need medical care scares me into procrastinating medical appointments. 

How can I break free of this anxiety to take better care of myself not only for my own health but for my family's sake also? ",10.340426065162907,7.401437228070179,9.739482038429411,68.74526315789477,59.760233918128655,13.046282372598164,37.878863826232255,11.20814326018867,4.071328487886383,710,23,129,14,7,229,100,171,0.172,0.703,0.124,-0.5018,4,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,7,6,14,0,4,4,0,16,7,0,2,1,25,23,11,0,3,7,2,3,0,0,2,7,0,2,2,8,11,0,2,0,2,7,6,4,8,0,1,1,3,17,7,31,15,2,19,0,2,0,0,7,8,0,1,4,93,25,8,0.12627525348991575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20196454918778625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.289800669867653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116802000622012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25749207347490194,0.0,0.0,0.10877494970648888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816672421906036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292480726875666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408302869970403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904107078052865,0.2841895335726983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074096661107792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684493791254357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666437510522838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126970869630126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816270991819415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363150043484536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603802045993066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538830144328175,0.0,0.0,0.12630942536686154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642355763948587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173262899946264,0.0,0.0,0.10445619457932258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190129320080048,0.0,0.09494327547521964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355666697519769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363211578865878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172483822134968,0.0,0.18385977694333844,0.1282386494656794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131712315069416
mentalhealth,xX_PinkyPie,2019/04/01,"Binge eating following titration of prozac dose, feeling happier in general but also gained 10 pounds? I’ve noticeably been eating a lot more since my prozac dosage has been upped; i’ve also started taking the vitamin acetyl-L carnitine. My mood feels so much more stable now on 40mg of prozac, but i have noticed that my appetite is near unquenchable. How do i satisfy my monstrous appetite/stat fit?",6.839178082191782,8.35008880821918,6.591671232876718,73.80778082191785,65.02739726027397,10.223561643835618,35.14794520547945,10.355215969177356,4.022421369863015,325,15,52,8,5,102,57,73,0.0,0.735,0.265,0.9633,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,6,7,0,1,0,7,11,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,6,9,4,8,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,32,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40025742553997395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5121463745612258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25307274249803685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21275772388870512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183966109110775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5698336097797017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070133976094388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771316705656351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881605022607706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Meeka1631,2019/04/01,"Fighting my ptsd My dad was extremely abusive. To the point that if we got sick we got beat. If we got periods we got beat. We got beat for anything that spent extra money. My mom left him when I was 11. She went into drugs and alcohol. Food was a major issue. She would buy drugs before food so I went days without eating. She made to much money for free lunches at school. Every now and then my step dad would get enough out of his alcoholic coma to give me 20 dollars for lunches. I learned fast to not use that money at school and instead would buy rice and canned foods for use to eat at the end of the pay period. I was a very responsible kid. This created the perfect storm in my head when I grew up and got a family for myself. I go shopping with the idea to stock up for two weeks. As I go I start to freak out. Anything extra that makes meal good I start to panic. I feel my chest become heavy. I can’t focus I start to grab nothing but rice but not getting things we need sends me into this kinda altered state where I just shut down. My husband has to grab my hand and walk me out of the store then he buys the groceries when I’m safe in the car. We never know when these episodes will happen. Sometimes it’s as little as a new toothbrush that sends me over the edge.  I do all the cooking my husband can’t just take over the shopping. He also worries that I’ll become a shut in. So we take these trips that take me days to get over. Recently I found a food delivery  app. It’s amazing I can actually shop for the stuff I want and we can afford which helps me a lot. But the problem of me becoming a shut in is still there. Today I thought about it. I’m going to fight this. Every day when we have sitters no matter what is planned we are going to make time to shop. Even if it’s 3 in the morning. I’m going to lean on him for support. Talk out my thinking process and get insight of what a healthy brain thinks. It might take me 20min to get a bag of chips thinking about all the directions my thoughts go in. I might not be able to get that bag of chips. But I will fight this. I will learn a new way of thinking. I will stop carrying around my parents in my head.
",1.4751503759398474,3.2913936578947367,2.8249874686716794,94.14657894736843,79.52631578947368,5.57092731829574,22.04135338345865,6.42735559955562,0.25998533834586496,1692,51,380,14,42,548,220,456,0.069,0.851,0.079,0.6808,2,0,4,0,4,0,38.0,11,0,0,5,19,12,3,1,26,0,25,21,5,5,4,75,75,28,0,9,13,6,4,0,0,9,6,0,0,1,24,27,12,2,13,5,15,15,8,6,0,1,17,4,61,7,64,48,8,75,0,0,0,0,34,31,0,7,27,246,85,6,0.0710444452131587,0.0841760503039408,0.06932913024361417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184981187483393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056814217169311926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692705006277775,0.06324461853677603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353890241780536,0.060453590205757475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930909666659096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745336940653058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16477800265739306,0.1453924074365051,0.0,0.0,0.06292429135033199,0.07340790328248321,0.0,0.04692418602717072,0.0,0.11971601842776593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697438015326099,0.0,0.035922206146506236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436289006191271,0.07789656719635557,0.0,0.0,0.2227067422352064,0.06815230548845358,0.2422571726071231,0.05958870996392479,0.34092439722327306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282436827411282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14582419422328208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04761959407374768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020053108606373,0.0,0.07415194287619829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03904416911639797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718999759733812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712051981490211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06039944674682465,0.0,0.06722397184351209,0.09484543769788316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073385862115993,0.0,0.08320639558764757,0.0,0.0,0.052225841710307336,0.052678555924660565,0.05479385589950902,0.13723033578565585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816906126130899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335534907679484,0.07888644886596383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671599643204985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797993930708922,0.08304715461281681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014781878226177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380154287525346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026477291757424,0.0,0.15085687195687944,0.0,0.05673618571907965,0.05939633735787521,0.0,0.0,0.08132889253446897,0.0,0.08062039451312683,0.0,0.0,0.2136663248399891,0.057102833946582214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04719877257355951,0.1820896473744989,0.0,0.11280270751541972,0.041426587328087065,0.0,0.06734182705313653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940009981161492,0.0,0.0,0.12271918042488755,0.0,0.05861910767706156,0.04190385448482569,0.0563917737634785,0.05698756861512159,0.0,0.0,0.13171782495287426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848430995854543,0.0,0.0,0.07214908269339956,0.0,0.15140380654414476,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nstsnsw,2019/04/01,"Help! Ever since I was a child I always had random outbursts of anger. It would be over the simplest things that would not warrant a response like the ones I had. It probably started when I was 10 or 11. It has slowly progressed as I have gotten older; I would cut myself out of anger/sadness, burn myself with hot water in the shower, punch holes in walls, throw things, and now its gotten to the point where I hit my loved ones and berate them whenever I get upset. 

​

During these outbursts I try not to give in to my impulses, but it never works. I always give in and always end up regretting it afterwards. Once the situation is over, I always reflect on what I did and how stupidly I acted. I then feel like killing myself, cutting myself, and feel that I should break up with the person I'm with so that they can be in a healthy relationship. When I feel like killing myself, I can visualize myself committing the act and in that instance it feels so real. I'm afraid that one day I'll actually act on it. 

I've tried going to therapy before and I can never seem to talk about the real issues. I feel awkward, weak, and was never able to open up. 

Does anyone have any advice on this.",5.196836158192088,5.7383940508474565,5.996000000000002,80.09702259887005,68.23728813559322,8.15774011299435,27.59774011299435,8.021203637495839,1.7299777401129943,940,28,178,11,15,309,132,236,0.166,0.795,0.039,-0.9846,1,0,0,0,0,4,31.0,0,0,2,2,9,15,6,3,11,0,19,3,0,1,5,38,36,17,2,5,4,0,6,3,0,4,1,0,1,2,18,13,1,0,7,0,0,5,5,11,0,3,8,6,29,4,28,21,0,38,0,1,0,1,10,19,0,3,16,132,47,1,0.11296369975012308,0.0,0.11023627574652724,0.0,0.0,0.1103868200030905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759793901016551,0.12239612148352312,0.1372632596894898,0.07681918952040609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898684540213033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961237883177291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285224108511608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885529490027184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005230857614766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218213371784876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855892038653263,0.1614025793454048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059018870714671635,0.21673014832834225,0.06419987381747726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571718676991279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179047536485466,0.0,0.0,0.2499551936179463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556507304310522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195414942178543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26137370771545704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030265349755072,0.2296413794226345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863554540878797,0.0,0.0,0.10678720935841148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217939743755396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571548424336968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128073804715897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283790963266064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934447397679653,0.12697593151262168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995628810410889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079594287025404,0.0,0.0,0.1291838355483187,0.0,0.1500961252516442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338987399667064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223891880926028,0.0,0.0,0.24073851364681614,0.0,0.1372632596894898,0.0
mentalhealth,fantasticmrfox323,2019/04/01,"Met a friend for lunch... Today I met a friend for lunch who I hadn't seen in a while, she seemed fine enough, just a little off, as if she was tired. We ate lunch, and walked out to our cars where I went in for a goodbye hug. I had read recently on Reddit that you should never be the first person to let go in a hug because you don't know how much the other person might need it. We hugged for a while, and when she finally pulled away she was crying. I asked her if everything was ok and she told me she had just been having a rough time lately with depression and anxiety, she said that she couldn't remember the last time anyone really hugged her and it meant so much to her. So I guess what I am getting at is we all should check on our friends more often, because you don't know who out there just needs a hug. ",5.486834625322999,4.324428639534884,5.721472868217059,88.08140826873388,67.83720930232558,9.272351421188633,25.50645994832041,8.167268648758528,1.1046219638242891,634,11,149,7,9,202,100,172,0.064,0.777,0.159,0.9413,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,5,3,0,1,10,11,0,0,12,1,18,10,0,1,2,32,35,14,0,7,5,0,1,0,3,3,1,1,0,2,8,11,4,0,5,1,1,5,5,1,0,1,15,3,27,10,19,14,5,29,0,1,1,5,31,12,0,6,12,110,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758507705568315,0.0,0.0,0.10747518175040656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369485952752448,0.0,0.14441234749259385,0.0,0.0,0.1873961517668732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883940903215588,0.0,0.0,0.1323872116714925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588199369675643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814152083409248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683779938198393,0.0,0.13074269847542766,0.0,0.0,0.35625985840338664,0.0,0.08030531950567057,0.0,0.08735496489014667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932507516176604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894618156181399,0.12529133935821374,0.17338766424466798,0.0,0.0,0.15717534396075772,0.0,0.0,0.15405432625248394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305834150423748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259839749567744,0.22794289326864114,0.11854795398094965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26842123181119104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374812820209333,0.0,0.09846834094058672,0.0,0.1517666580741232,0.0,0.17411953862661245,0.0,0.14621011135468576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992865485806574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17925503097152407,0.17666304857507242,0.1456958208805275,0.14687317926019658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14248749603989852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cassowarybrain,2019/04/01,"Self help books for my dad After facilitating a LONG conversation between my parents it’s clear that my father has some issues with anger and being in touch with himself, as well as being able to read other people. He’s made promises to improve and I want to help him with this.

Does anyone know any good counselling/CBT based self help books that would benefit him to read?

It would also be really great if the books were aware of toxic masculinity as I am sure that he is also trying to deal with this too. ",7.833333333333336,6.877609707070711,7.746141414141418,74.79254545454549,63.04040404040404,9.940202020202019,29.901010101010105,8.841846274778883,2.212630707070707,407,10,76,5,5,131,70,99,0.032,0.69,0.278,0.9764,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,2,0,9,0,0,1,2,15,12,8,0,4,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,6,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,8,6,17,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,15,1,0,2,2,52,16,5,0.18144680698005689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29020589197405144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339005082257272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268718262888545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706369069388049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878532353670258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218897300942316,0.0,0.20004574525901245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36485990995257694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18938332512675768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971841987229138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605747143793192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168935596478285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014752063694561,0.0,0.0,0.12579236967634808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36299181812583853,0.0,0.11623947076245406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785771835167969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17101146824394695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231904714582386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702202788150264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314247036057178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577892114308284,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,samarriii,2019/04/01,"I'm finally going to Therapy. After years of telling myself I didn't need it, could not afford it and I could just use logic to get through, I made an appointment. I'm somewhere between relieved and terrible. Here's to new beginnings. ",2.7473333333333336,5.4764312888888895,4.440000000000005,79.26000000000003,80.55555555555556,8.044444444444443,31.222222222222214,8.841846274778883,3.3366888888888884,188,10,32,5,5,63,35,45,0.07400000000000001,0.863,0.062,-0.128,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,10,11,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,7,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5060747726237438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34717387367581315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655792910764121,0.0,0.18011475762192813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29988039399634664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349945365117609,0.0,0.30608640069238296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770048450848225,0.0,0.36242929845326544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737198886610846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040881495706079
mentalhealth,anarchyshift,2019/04/01,"Can stress and distance cause you to not recognize a loved one? I’ve been trying to research this but I can’t figure out how to search it. If anyone has ideas, please throw them out to me.

Basically, I had a few moments during a very depressive/stressful time where my BF (who I am doing long distance with) would become “unrecognizable” to me, in that his voice was not comforting (over the phone) and in person, his hands didn’t feel like his/to me felt like another person. When I closed my eyes, it felt like his face/body were detached from whatever hands were hugging me. Even his face sometimes didn’t spark that “I know you, I love you” feeling. 

Rationally, I knew this was absolutely crazy. Emotionally, I was having thoughts like “the real BF is in [home state], not where I am” or “this isn’t him”.  I was also experiencing a minor panic attack at the time which lasted 30 minutes or so.

Either way, I’d love some input or somewhere I can  get answers. It’s very scary and I hate not “knowing” someone who loves me so much.

Please, Reddit, help me out.",4.3352357723577235,5.668405873170734,5.108780487804882,82.77699186991872,70.75609756097559,7.613008130081301,26.349593495934965,8.021203637495839,1.5092373983739833,824,26,162,11,15,267,127,205,0.131,0.667,0.201,0.9544,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,1,0,8,14,2,2,7,0,21,9,4,2,0,34,35,13,0,2,10,0,6,4,2,1,0,1,1,2,11,8,0,0,11,0,0,1,8,4,0,1,14,9,29,10,15,20,4,20,0,0,1,5,21,11,0,5,10,108,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013711404663696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329205045822251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863460101700679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442095270663451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399981379254954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080347060305098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13021899746352206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258964656545806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837247873864877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818886492046236,0.0905584540727202,0.2434218730482301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622766147498457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515075590124966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496557376502598,0.0,0.12715213845711432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430983248079359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393296308244813,0.1033275561300427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477170996734339,0.0,0.0,0.11217995483116243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4576288778224595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318430139084263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589688548135267,0.0,0.0,0.14872732954685852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22136653689342012,0.0,0.27829216286610303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428235956671864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074046231831836,0.0,0.12537038298069442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904097820882241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063448621016093,0.14783132153570075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606275014862898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20918305643941407,0.0,0.10061739304247723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900477457053345,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,smithers222,2019/04/01,"Nothing feels real Lately, nothing feels real. My brain feels foggy and dazed. I can’t even describe my emotions right now because they feel so distant. I don’t feel especially depressed or anxious, just weird.",4.835540540540542,8.016102756756759,4.6012837837837814,78.54895270270273,75.48648648648648,4.781081081081081,33.57432432432432,5.985473137389443,2.228356756756757,170,9,24,1,4,52,29,37,0.242,0.758,0.0,-0.8051,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,10,7,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,7,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23765988101836205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824049539406873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23484413432156565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119263868035101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23663958830181364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389483717438071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5318506804371917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373081810731965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40371419805036657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4788975776219306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796560857609464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pharrisloma,2019/04/01,"Needing to get a mental health evaluation completed. Should I see a psychologist or psychiatrist? I am wanting to see someone about what exactly is going on with my brain. I’m going crazy and I’m miserable. Even writing this brings me to tears. And I am desperate. 

After making several calls in my town and being told there’s a waitlist or cannot take new patients I finally found a couple of options. 

Option 1:
Meet with a doctor (PhD in psychology) to do my evaluation. I will have to pay out of pocket $700 for this assessment. I was taken aback by that that I didn’t even ask if they take insurance after the assessment. This doctor would be able to see this month (April). 

Option 2: 
Meet with a psychiatrist to do my evaluation. I will only have to pay $400 out of pocket and I believe they do take my insurance for regular visits. The only thing is they would not be able to get me in until mid May. 

I am going to call my insurance to see if mental health is covered and would be able to help pay for this. 

I don’t know anything about this process and I have two options and am feeling stressed and overwhelmed that I will make the wrong choice. ",3.08934210526316,5.097435741228072,4.7445964912280685,81.35084210526318,75.35964912280701,7.893333333333333,26.31228070175439,8.697196308434329,2.0678343859649124,911,34,175,19,20,307,114,228,0.091,0.884,0.025,-0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,3,9,0,29,5,1,2,1,36,54,13,0,8,5,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,0,11,13,0,0,3,0,3,5,4,4,0,1,5,5,24,0,33,37,0,20,0,2,4,0,12,8,0,9,7,123,35,6,0.3472216303201381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524460551773566,0.0,0.10820178429154444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303999581465934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920472417497625,0.2363680708416323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135175774089935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806470989609145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23693070111527695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289107473417582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058521896377507675,0.0,0.0,0.1267881079855016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690353189992076,0.0,0.0,0.1209393138653193,0.0,0.1973340542365453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460535708099144,0.0,0.0,0.07757844656191533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360797579794407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545154229725592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23327849064244904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238299754465054,0.0,0.0,0.08582014641769331,0.0,0.11178293807937266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17605179750957792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689209125721684,0.0,0.0,0.13075386985135082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806658686449128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258040146409572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610674537356793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076892874185681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105950492089876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306169318219975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826677125501761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24665628390416705,0.1265441149967901,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,friendofbp,2019/04/01,"Potentially bipolar best friend recently cut me off Hi all. I've suspected that one of my best friends of over a decade, let's call him Jim, is bipolar for a few years now. While it's probably not appropriate for me to speculate since I'm not a professional, I've read about bipolar disorder and it describes Jim to a T. Even if it's not bipolar, Jim has issues that I believe warrant seeking professional help. He has admitted this after some episodes over the past few years. I don't know if he has ever sought help or been formally diagnosed with anything.

Occasionally, Jim will lash out at me and/or my friends, usually over text message, for seemingly no reason at all. He will attack us very personally and it hurts. He seems to go back and forth between depression and mania. He constantly self-medicates with drugs and alcohol. Some of our friends have stopped talking to Jim because it's too much to handle. I've tried to maintain our friendship even though he's hurt me multiple times. 

Jim recently stopped communicating with us. He's ignoring our messages, left our group chats, and stopped following us on social media. None of us know why. This is hurtful and confusing to me. I want to help Jim if I can. I worry about him. It feels like I've lost a friend. I'm wondering if anyone can point me in the right direction in terms of helping my friend or at least understanding what he's going through. Thank you.",4.885238095238094,6.724000666666669,5.507248677248678,78.47833333333338,70.1111111111111,9.43915343915344,33.227513227513235,9.842372674337009,3.4396402116402114,1140,55,211,29,21,368,153,270,0.136,0.7040000000000001,0.16,0.8442,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,8,1,0,3,9,19,2,1,7,0,13,7,0,1,3,41,29,15,0,5,9,0,1,1,6,2,7,0,0,1,11,11,1,4,10,2,0,3,6,9,0,1,2,1,25,10,35,24,12,34,0,5,0,0,39,14,0,12,18,128,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523315166913388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062308871156092266,0.0,0.07333121691340326,0.0,0.0,0.10137725829818756,0.0,0.06852128521555234,0.0,0.054321576783681234,0.0,0.0,0.1003982069574105,0.1870341583125358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099286085584536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629793342283748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076751651687457,0.09044635247362316,0.0,0.0,0.10212956221641918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334111267614383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771468320447237,0.08060650316980897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04505747967682642,0.06366131264955259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4130841977433608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012883004901645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389183875228432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28618728781477004,0.0,0.0,0.09300931144137008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794676024550214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681996517172728,0.09112260241167994,0.0,0.04353540454182014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727578882369617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898284876865128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065507246182768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060384295847851474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08506706236627921,0.0,0.07780877257469633,0.0,0.0,0.08423922281180829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607732804517376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913566978544188,0.0,0.0,0.09162151997976498,0.17597381999673575,0.0,0.0,0.07610078101562172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224762563034306,0.09296278630323708,0.0,0.0,0.0737139990940781,0.0,0.0,0.09083800817158798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235037502261545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162449236953561,0.0,0.08204194726743326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755165027771497,0.0,0.05196166429764502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050089636349755,0.0,0.0,0.09276827137315537,0.4287609142727171,0.0,0.09814378817318037,0.07352636533682896,0.05256030390033152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040931791142457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096637680080535,0.0,0.09049710961239762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147698394796756
mentalhealth,DeliciousStress8,2019/04/01,"(M25) I've had major confidence issues about the way my face looks like for about a decade. Its destroying my life and relationships. Need help. This might be a long read. Just gonna try to explain my whole situation. Thanks for reading.

Im in a situation where I have major confidence issues about the way I look. Back in my teens I was overweight but ended up losing it and now im at a healthy weight. 

Im super self concious about 2 things still:

- I have an underbite that needs surgery which causes me alot of stress
- I have bad teeth

I've been going to the gym for a long time and I work a physical job so I am not exactly physically ugly at a first glance but whenever I speak to girls and get a vibe that they might like me I get super self concious about my face which causes me to shutdown. 
Numerous times i've been in situations where a girl has made the first move and tried to kiss me but I get major anxiety and get out of the situation. A girl has once brought me to her place after a nightout, got undressed, climbed into bed with me and my anxiety got so bad I told her I had to leave. Not exactly my proudest moment...

This anxiety causes me alot of problems in my day to day life as well. Depression, borderline alcoholic, dropped out of school, working shitty entry level jobs. I cant even speak to my family without feeling anxiety. 
I can still function but I rely heavy on weed and alcohol to cope. 

Currently at work i've met a great girl that I vibe with. We instantly hit it off and we make each other laugh all the time. Problem is, whenever I meet a girl, I never think they might think I am attractive because my shitty confidence. But about this girl, I didnt think she liked me, which caused me to let my guard down and we became great friends at work. About 2-3 months after meeting her and us getting along well, she tried to kiss me once and like usually I just shutdown. Since then our relationship has been pretty shitty when we talk IRL because im nervous and awkward. This makes me anger because we had such a good time before and I feel like I cant do anything.

I think 99% of my problems are in my head and if I could somehow shutdown those thoughts I could be happy again but it seems impossible ATM.

The number one problem is definitely my underbite. The solution is to get surgery but its not exactly a walk in the park. Would need to wear braces for 1-2 years before the surgery and also afterwards for a while which I think would make my anxiety even worse.

I really want to get a girlfriend but I feel like its impossible because of all of this...

Feels bad man.

________


Any advice? 

Therapist?

Pills to cope with anxiety?

Im all ears.

Thanks for reading.",2.229685324422171,4.582751631578951,3.5567335004177143,87.10980646059595,79.67669172932331,7.098635477582848,24.889445836814257,8.167268648758528,1.6317785018100812,2116,80,426,42,54,690,244,532,0.155,0.6679999999999999,0.17800000000000002,0.9538,3,0,2,0,0,0,56.0,7,0,2,10,26,35,2,3,30,0,34,15,6,8,7,90,73,32,0,13,15,0,5,6,2,6,6,3,1,9,21,29,4,1,12,4,1,5,8,14,2,3,15,11,69,21,61,46,10,57,0,2,3,2,36,21,0,8,34,273,90,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056272958588305014,0.0,0.12308512341021507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046051982846733217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039160862415892936,0.0,0.2643215461602217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04738886472520741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044280540437665376,0.1442472156662806,0.14041702632055056,0.0,0.09800390951026808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366292027462549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195642773699694,0.0,0.0,0.07427718536566544,0.0,0.049599253801396334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05100463458420345,0.0,0.0,0.07607081176812967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054287520970271216,0.0,0.11647006004470872,0.08227975643555356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796626430132087,0.0,0.0,0.044491263954925996,0.0,0.2106063502231139,0.0,0.03272779160233223,0.048300907516506036,0.0921145285763642,0.12697885858297786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130200602887796,0.0,0.0,0.05910046486248726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03859908379829193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110170470668845,0.1202108969031486,0.11429162857089348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060975894064372135,0.0,0.058886199641215727,0.08135023658646169,0.16880342234269474,0.0,0.0,0.10192465689672067,0.09671648011591906,0.06442467480365606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054489832870545714,0.1153185070808233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327084533146712,0.0,0.0,0.04596507434468183,0.06120544180592615,0.0,0.12809920164543873,0.04441433566655833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265569817377375,0.03902217020126544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060165739836455186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058586274488497535,0.0,0.22041039407882795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728065498752553,0.0,0.0368914502545284,0.0,0.0,0.12365291344556842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828071313637661,0.0,0.052424677419863584,0.12015076498198027,0.0,0.0,0.04763623022305045,0.2589190026679332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197746556069533,0.0,0.06596525520834652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628592736869189,0.0,0.10603600770570004,0.0,0.06686248055279975,0.038257977901321655,0.18449583870152272,0.0,0.04571732754923117,0.1343168371639374,0.0,0.0,0.055026463680049986,0.0,0.11729256301211925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926958879572435,0.0,0.06342350361989113,0.0,0.033966068426083164,0.09141912455867862,0.0,0.0701249643195707,0.10355453771821432,0.0,0.0,0.0642933818504649,0.0,0.05551142697403623,0.0,0.167694921273062,0.0,0.058685664692172776,0.08181573614602486,0.0,0.0,0.0370838820529789
mentalhealth,Schmoaway420,2019/04/01,"I’ve been crying several times aday I don’t have a therapist and probably couldn’t get one for a few weeks at least, but i’ve been missing a lot of work and don’t want to get fired over this",5.969302325581396,3.6076330232558185,6.790348837209304,84.6729651162791,67.6046511627907,11.390697674418604,30.80232558139535,10.125756701596842,2.3865441860465118,152,4,38,3,2,51,32,43,0.237,0.728,0.035,-0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,6,10,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,5,7,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,23,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36356372743865895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458446278626049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813856101563583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242792190773344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568502009082408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739108650037032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3842909004448217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929958994636366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952193653617501,0.0,0.2654905405559257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409558834911862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ilac21,2019/04/01,"I've been struggling... Over the past month I have come to realize that I am struggling with my mental health. On Friday I finally got the courage to phone and try to book an appointment to have a mental health assessment done. Whoever I spoke to said ""Ok, someone will phone you back to make an appointment"". It is now Monday afternoon and I still haven't heard back to book an appointment, I am having a really hard time and it is making me severely anxious. For the past 4 days all I've wanted to do was cry. Should I call again or just wait?",3.9855555555555533,5.3091773703703735,4.862037037037037,84.2491666666667,71.5925925925926,9.103703703703703,26.462962962962962,9.516144504307137,2.220996296296296,428,14,87,10,8,139,71,108,0.12,0.8490000000000001,0.031,-0.8122,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,2,8,1,14,2,0,2,1,14,23,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,4,10,2,12,14,1,16,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,1,13,58,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913620523420128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605003193104621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296573782404856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591415624058635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18606654032127384,0.10924228969425367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334438898231613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855580456949334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547635072936282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517398252963459,0.0,0.0,0.36010648365356623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22613776932291424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414097860915043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520517619669378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234031124709414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851532610198376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611283155733704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913620523420128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352327277119933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352747669241829,0.0,0.0,0.3541656121782589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09877244785221337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500443089823355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991038482436117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,notsureabouthisname,2019/04/01,"I keep putting off getting help I'm currently sat here, eating a bowl of pasta crying and spiralling for no reason. I've figured by now I probably have some kind of anxiety related disorder, which was pretty inevitable looking at my families history. Problem is, I won't get help, even as I'm typing this I know I won't wake up tomorrow and make that appointment, no matter how many people tell me too, or how many times I agree. I just can't bring myself to do it.

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mentalhealth,rashahaynes,2019/04/01,My brother just got sent to a mental health hospital and my family is in shambles. Basically asking for help. I feel a mix of emotions but afraid and guilty are the main ones. Will he be safe? Will we be able to talk to him? Just asking for advice on what to do so he knows he is loved and wanted. Thanks ,0.7138095238095232,2.9378289523809533,2.5295238095238126,92.95714285714287,84.87301587301587,5.504761904761906,16.936507936507937,6.868970318607317,-0.1184539682539687,236,5,52,3,7,78,48,63,0.05,0.7440000000000001,0.206,0.9111,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,0,8,2,0,0,0,11,17,5,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,2,1,5,3,9,11,1,3,0,0,0,1,12,2,0,0,0,35,6,0,0.2625023358110303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565142444666739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4908084975454538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952797959389439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474638400930269,0.0,0.13272906829873726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994709799282316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790277078045037,0.0,0.0,0.17594978238237535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426441873258553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369186068449065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645406132892186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177878376359402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098943411315255,0.0,0.24167688251371655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483067886234814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amitnagar2000,2019/04/01,"diagnose me masters of reddit.  Am 15. I already accepted being alone for the rest of my life and i started distancing myself from others (subconsciously, not on purpose, but eh what can you do) about 5 years ago. I don't really feel bad or down or anything, i just accepted me being alone and people not liking me. anyway, I think that's because I sort of shifted my outlook (I guess?) about 3-4 years ago to 'no one needs you, and you don't need anyone'.

 I never really connected with my friends, when we hang out at school, they all talk to each other and meanwhile I just sort of sit there and zone out. Maybe tell them i'm going to do something and come back, but I never really do. I just put in my earphones and walk around school grounds until the break is over. I never really told them anything about myself - like, they don't even know that i have a cat. Had it for 7 years. They know not to ask me questions. 

 Iv'e completely ditched my dreams. Like, what will I gain from them? Nothing. So they are just not worth it. I sort of accept my situation as it is, but I can remember me being me, 'happy' (?,cuz im not sad either), from before 'i made' (it sort of just sunk in when I finished elementary) this change. Also, therapy is not an option (am not a pu55y lol). I mean, do i really need it? i just want to gain more information on my 'condition' (?? - is it even one?), or maybe this is just me venting (since I cant talk to anyone about this lol. I don't trust anyone enough like that).

 Also, iv'e never been like a social guy. Iv'e spent most of my afternoons watching Netflix or YouTube. Or just taking my whole bike apart and putting it back together (takes me 20 min tops at this point). I'm never bored, but at the same time, i'm always bored. But where can I go? My friends got their own friends that they hang out with after school (I don't know them, I think I don't want to know them, but deep down i know i would love to. oh, and all my friend live kinda far away because i go to a different school district [long story], so i can't just pop down to their place everyday to talk.), and i just sit here. Lonely. Sometimes i ride my bike to the edge of town, And watch the sunset over the desert mountains, and watch the stars come out. That's the only thing i really like to do. 

tl;dr - im lonely and need friends i can talk to badly
 i think im just venting. report this post if it doesnt fit here.
tryna keep it posetive lol

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mentalhealth,jessiepops99,2019/04/01,"mental health Can you try to make a small donation to my justgiving page it is called mental healthhhh I have received £0.00 so far my goal is £1000.00 and all donations will be going to the mind a mental health charity , I would appreciate it so much if you could even just go and look over or have a read over my page thank you :))",5.217352941176472,5.113487794117648,5.963529411764708,82.58588235294121,68.11764705882354,10.329411764705883,28.764705882352942,10.125756701596842,2.4596058823529408,262,8,57,6,4,86,48,68,0.0,0.8809999999999999,0.119,0.7906,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,3,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,1,1,10,14,6,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,5,10,4,7,0,0,1,0,5,4,0,2,0,38,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21482789992123946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679763139118591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895814432504613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391347263535968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4472615247651769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667147609155542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043446606152327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6360596174822309,0.0,0.2124301540206811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465811267723914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21044319925731225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936954072125928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428384643242898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945236690904234,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hrowtguy_water,2019/04/01,"I'm overwhelmingly lonely I posted this on r/Advice but thought this would probably be better

​

I'm not exactly sure how to start but whatever. I am just really lonely, all the time. I do have friends but no close friends. I have consistently been a second choice friend since elementary school. The only times I ever talk to or hang out with people are at school and even then its only when I'm pretty much the only one around. I have actually hung out with friends once this year and three times over the past few, and I am made painfully aware of this on a weekly almost daily basis when I see snaps and stories of friends hanging out together. I used to try and initiate stuff, for just about all of freshman year I'd always suggest things to do and try and text friends but every attempt I made failed and I just gave up.

​

 Now I'm at a point where I'm just so socially out of practice that I can only hold conversations about school stuff in person and am just totally unaware about how to text with people. I don't feel like I have any way I can approach anyone about this because then I would not know if any invitation or conversation was because they wanted me around or because they pity me. I don't have any close relationship at all so their is no adult I can talk to about this. I go to an all boys school with small class sizes so its not like I could just make new friends because everything is already established, and its not like I could make friends with people who live around me because I live in a secluded suburb that is 99% elementary school aged kids. Honestly this is just a flailing attempt to maybe be told one useful thing that could help me out. And I know that ""It will get better later"", ""You'll make new friends"" but that just feels like ingenuine bs anyone can type out and feel like they have made someone happier.",6.529551282051281,6.577011826923079,6.3414285714285725,80.47023809523812,65.34615384615384,9.46080586080586,31.344322344322343,9.107695989026183,2.4398366300366296,1491,51,292,23,21,468,174,364,0.105,0.733,0.163,0.9854,0,4,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,4,5,27,24,0,1,10,0,33,1,0,10,8,81,59,30,0,7,21,0,3,5,9,4,1,0,0,4,21,28,0,1,6,0,0,4,8,6,0,4,8,4,32,18,41,42,7,47,0,5,1,0,29,23,0,5,23,195,53,8,0.0,0.0,0.06597842476828253,0.0,0.0,0.06606852825589304,0.0,0.0,0.06770248774896716,0.0,0.07461024082571137,0.0,0.05625763328871413,0.14651262914212887,0.16430913674362832,0.1379330646525099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455013972045573,0.0,0.0,0.1805639400695534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20607469608403986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959258349695336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619452574557383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04465632075186382,0.06115787363560363,0.05696504692644847,0.0,0.06076426149430673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255821329734502,0.14490358822399288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4701236905147531,0.0,0.03532387224610704,0.0,0.038424797246772883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04531811944056961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431429662060828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515620110914125,0.0,0.11940321703224326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192502862723448,0.1353922778298738,0.0,0.06792417414209871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04970174522795389,0.0,0.0,0.1305979370250937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720033357391699,0.09162970702892376,0.2056843554065889,0.07194269839885899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454219506072696,0.14061852591591611,0.05903517574555985,0.0,0.0,0.0639140955293997,0.0,0.06475249330566712,0.06878452863601951,0.07289591852725323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04331323400594633,0.0,0.0,0.07258873720920622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421288874106341,0.053877084167721134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559283837468236,0.0,0.0,0.06892073476211401,0.0572864435111768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785529902659345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479646719114715,0.0,0.0,0.06372241453927073,0.0,0.0,0.10868606083363724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983527283429925,0.0,0.0,0.053675453054960416,0.1182732697999469,0.0,0.0,0.06460505297162056,0.0,0.0918066416265382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167881117913566,0.0,0.0,0.039878623904744406,0.053666336065803726,0.05423333590639503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605759872848993,0.0,0.16430913674362832,0.08707832574364169
mentalhealth,NEI_Global,2019/04/01,"Neuroscience Education Institute is calling for abstracts! Share and promote your accomplishments in mental health care and neuroscience at NEI's annual Scientific Poster Session and Reception! Basic science, clinical and epidemiological research will be considered for inclusion.   


For more information, please visit: [http://www.neiglobal.com/Congress/CNGPosterSession/tabid/159/Default.aspx](https://www.google.com/url?q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neiglobal.com%2FCongress%2FCNGPosterSession%2Ftabid%2F159%2FDefault.aspx&sa=D&ust=1554575202821000&usg=AFQjCNGU4YS0Sz3W0Cbm18q1_9cpY5FB8Q)",41.7675,53.53761802272727,21.15,-36.97999999999996,-6.2272727272727195,17.127272727272725,54.18181818181818,13.816669648895859,11.16101818181818,539,19,21,14,4,121,38,44,0.0,0.777,0.223,0.8796,0,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,14,1,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8126670559783131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552912615771284,0.0,0.2549049513873181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26575216476554864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519543352994601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744392346118905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,leopard_lover2018,2019/04/01,"Better if I'm gone I don't know. Suicide seems bad but now I know how helpful it is. Years of anger, pain, suffering, sorrow, sadness, rage and crying. I don't know if I want to end this now. Maybe I'll finally take an endless sleep and never wake up. Nothing will happen after that. I don't know why you never supported me but like you said, it wouldn't make a difference. I know you go here and watch people post stuff so you can help them but all I asked was just support and apparently personal feelings didn't matter. I don't know why I'm even wasting my fucking time ",1.0703259452412013,3.362741000000004,2.8500000000000014,90.79649934810949,83.91525423728814,5.664667535853977,21.788787483702738,7.010146845296331,0.6703734028683179,450,15,94,6,13,149,81,118,0.294,0.575,0.131,-0.9754,1,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,4,1,1,7,12,3,0,2,0,10,4,2,2,3,26,31,11,1,4,6,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,8,0,0,2,8,8,0,0,4,3,15,4,4,25,1,13,0,3,1,1,10,1,1,3,10,55,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849974945299526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369861362594572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102616102675405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627352288427978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478465711463832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121645136971846,0.0,0.0,0.0978513232611142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749088200242587,0.0,0.0,0.16229049552728622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696179154746935,0.0,0.0,0.08419675408390682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100808110141576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19860292475079824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4885144234307726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723783444368675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889091713432767,0.0,0.14883604849925552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22852399840206866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421534056237999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15764147423653968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270818407660977,0.12935839693901258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188623352163454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092406545858138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486970725925332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825645504384047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959569099932184,0.16205146719003646,0.3362365105438221,0.0,0.0,0.11138995895328813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638714342105422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738239185879808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673636948583341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540339707702022
mentalhealth,tortiesunite,2019/04/01,"Why do I suddenly not want to socialize? I’m a 25 year old female. I’ve always been an introvert and prioritized my alone time, but still enjoyed being around friends at times. The past couple of months I just find myself really having no interest in being around people, except for my boyfriend. I’ve had a falling out with my
main friend because we live far apart and probably also because I don’t feel like talking to her anymore. I don’t necessarily hate anyone, it’s just exhausting to be around people and I don’t like pretending to be interested in what they have to say. I don’t even want to be around my family members 

My motivation to do things has diminished a lot too. I’d rather just stay at home with my cat and play video games. This has made it very difficult to work in settings where I constantly deal with other people. 


",5.324057649667402,6.30773131707317,6.269667405764968,76.66690687361421,68.14634146341463,9.866075388026607,29.543237250554323,10.018931242160765,2.891336585365853,672,24,126,16,11,223,108,164,0.115,0.693,0.192,0.9524,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,1,2,13,11,1,0,5,0,17,1,0,2,0,27,23,6,0,3,7,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,6,13,0,0,3,4,0,1,6,3,0,0,3,2,17,8,24,15,2,25,0,0,0,0,10,13,0,1,11,87,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586204974610545,0.0,0.1126252842587034,0.1171855709198868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966996264767326,0.09847474427900807,0.0,0.0,0.5014901899861153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170278592288318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219204252079718,0.0,0.0,0.15583067545977844,0.0,0.0,0.1451941667729079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09301984702471586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327662155465872,0.0,0.0712101456294519,0.1006121819784841,0.0,0.0,0.1287201649852574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21761674265489306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390448937806513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126846824403075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760922802144934,0.0,0.124359427686781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973244018583262,0.0,0.1332609919681186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241273977868367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477820977987742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444244868600413,0.2929106910132901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184339139377567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022217535041084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199723265463987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435630185483941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501108190351684,0.11247059913407448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319742180105533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356417183250987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424343786308346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620319691189293,0.16613565258936733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708121447330675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025291801222586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069278887584864
mentalhealth,Syndamia,2019/04/01,"The hell that is overworking Why rest when you can work right? Or how about bullying yourself, telling yourself you are not good enough, not smart enough, not skilled enough and forcing yourself into working. Let's add some self over expectation and what do we get? When you get the best possible result, you get no satisfaction. When someone once has a better idea than you, you spiral down into depression and come out with the idea \*I must work harder to account for my stupidity\*.

I have really forgotten what enjoying life is. I listen to people talk about their experiences, what fun the had doing x and y, and just think to myself, when was the last time I felt that? Can't remember. Life is just a loop of working and ""resting"". Even things for fun become work after a bit. Gaming, watching movies, reading. \*I must do it\* is what replaces the little joy there was.

Why? What reason could there possibly be to destroy yourself, your brain, your body, your life. I mean, you get one shot at life, why waste it? Maybe you get joy from working, not me though. Maybe you are in a bad position and overworking is the only option, not for me though.

This maze seems to have no exit. Is joy too much to ask?",2.7799559471365645,5.496186079295157,3.2340193832599127,88.0487559471366,80.27753303964758,6.2751718061674016,22.73638766519824,7.554174236665415,1.1144975859030837,948,31,179,15,25,294,138,227,0.131,0.7509999999999999,0.118,-0.3469,0,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,1,12,1,9,15,15,3,0,11,0,24,6,2,3,2,38,36,15,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,11,14,0,0,8,2,1,1,8,5,0,1,4,3,24,10,23,27,9,18,1,1,1,0,20,10,1,4,7,130,35,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386247331595814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383161606098666,0.0,0.11088630580583728,0.0,0.0,0.105365880469547,0.08879755805796631,0.10961316297637387,0.1115241740438162,0.0,0.1120820239201652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648757708559512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016296094985725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647623974683209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31122683465523776,0.0,0.06631468471821769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821258548025408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640182596221564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26227994285998363,0.0,0.0,0.08421257455025162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22668365222686465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184116701111607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266801872350403,0.2836680805998063,0.0,0.1006293484306021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20173494444414533,0.10936739431126548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380714553380173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692503161500916,0.06803510712637613,0.07636037267853338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960622113250192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263767163062753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042933775221953,0.0,0.0643201994447972,0.10323015014716798,0.0,0.0,0.11373608354442792,0.08574290245669783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140236245011472,0.10474135760137683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507043070522377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069945906982119,0.08775591979948483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670273876439964,0.06433365487202786,0.19728923959779174,0.0,0.05854531128197064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717920188311969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43856384234334544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadbean-throwaway,2019/04/01,"I don't know what to do anymore Throwaway because friends know what my other account is -- 

​

A friend of mine committed suicide last week and it has impacted my entire mental health. I was already dealing with some anxiety and overall sadness but now I just don't know how to act anymore. I haven't cleaned my room/made my bed since, my finals are less than two weeks away and I haven't been able to concentrate on my studies or do anything at all because I have no motivation. Taking an appointment at my uni to see a mental health specialist takes over six weeks so that's useless. I also don't have money to go see someone else. It seems as though I will my heart is just down. I'm not suicidal nor do I plan on hurting myself at all, though. I keep forgetting that he's gone after a while and it messes me up when I  remember. I am just confused, tired, unmotivated, and I felt the need to vent to someone who is not related to me or grieving, i.e. all my friends, which is why I'm posting here. 

Anyway have as good a day as you can everyone ",4.121194968553457,5.18139803773585,5.172943396226419,83.1481572327044,70.98113207547169,8.106163522012578,31.586163522012573,8.447377352677275,2.3778103144654086,832,37,166,13,15,274,131,212,0.139,0.763,0.098,-0.8474,0,0,0,0,0,2,25.0,0,1,0,2,12,10,0,1,6,0,22,4,1,2,4,31,37,19,3,1,8,0,1,0,3,1,3,0,2,0,10,6,0,1,7,0,2,3,9,6,0,2,4,3,27,4,24,32,5,23,0,4,2,0,7,9,0,5,10,121,37,1,0.11873778264456925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103009575029012,0.09495456188208272,0.0,0.12865233788726918,0.144279402411109,0.0,0.0,0.09083407872349254,0.0,0.235511949178886,0.0,0.0,0.09771107800172724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155805540336318,0.0,0.0,0.14476290043175172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765760468740742,0.12241344014801105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919018130005036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11345903971277385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400689190963005,0.13007143703016188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27520954898816785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748141819018354,0.09959161860632396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524254210442829,0.0,0.1407048441339481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711125211424407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055395968860562,0.0,0.0,0.1957655402405194,0.0967871405760647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23931951496239906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804256130996721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137179736188137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450676118890628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892372794703583,0.10809441784037717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982211208059774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20121227583214985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25975972458239543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855207089867967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23331853716727666,0.0,0.0,0.13647161411648473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598956036912896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857328612544993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714238035606403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144279402411109,0.0
mentalhealth,the_mannered_bear161,2019/04/01,"I’m about to start working as a psych nurse For those who feel comfortable sharing, what are some things you wished people knew/did better when they were taking care of you in the hospital? ",4.587499999999999,6.7229560833333375,3.84,88.90500000000002,71.5,7.022222222222222,23.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.0133444444444444,153,4,29,2,3,45,35,36,0.0,0.7040000000000001,0.29600000000000004,0.9042,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,1,2,2,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,4,6,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,19,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3635532975863455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4191078291496978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078466492852568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849804857102734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909536905947332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30906947573016896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730931026279782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727040861640063,0.0,0.0,0.2992599769879171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Buzzer_ding91,2019/04/01,"I'm done, a freak of nature I am  I'm done with living I cant live like this anymore where people think I'm a pedohile, mass shooter and a psychopath. I'm done everywhere I go people give me looks they, and cue coughing.
Goodbye.",-0.3389285714285748,1.9338255833333344,2.0801190476190503,92.3625,95.25,4.40952380952381,21.44047619047619,6.18269132825596,0.4485976190476193,180,7,37,2,7,61,33,48,0.125,0.875,0.0,-0.6136,0,0,0,1,0,1,6.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,13,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,1,5,1,2,10,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334438847181885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7226578791549869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22580778449663425,0.13377770820998636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499979005304507,0.0,0.41570782078270174,0.0,0.1976685321951627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263799330431555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082857270461342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThatVideoGameGuy85,2019/04/01,"So much anger, hate and resentment Espeically over the last 2 years I've come to realize just how hateful, angry and resentful I've become. It's self destructive behaviour and I'm not only hurting myself feeling this way. 

To put it simply I've think it stems from a number of years of bad family, bad friends, relationships and situtations I've experienced in the past where I felt I've been wronged. Couple that with a 10 years of depression, anxiety, OCD and loneliness and well I've ended up in a position where I'm just fueled with anger, hate and resentment. People really don't need to wrong me too much now before I cast them aside, never speak to them and build up that internal resentment towards them. As soon as there's signs of mistreatment or lack of respect, I'm gone. 

How do you let go these feelings? I know I'm killing myself, losing myself as time goes on. I hurt the people closest to me, the only people that do care about me at all. I don't even anyone wants to be close to me anymore and all that does is builds the hate and resentment more. ",4.647097288676235,5.932710105263162,5.596153110047847,79.75773843700159,69.95693779904306,9.401084529505582,27.808931419457736,9.725611199111238,2.5713518979266348,848,29,162,20,15,279,123,209,0.303,0.62,0.076,-0.9957,0,0,0,0,0,2,21.0,0,1,3,1,14,25,13,0,8,0,8,0,0,2,3,33,27,17,1,3,4,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,9,14,0,0,6,0,0,4,4,21,1,0,3,5,16,4,27,22,6,27,0,4,0,0,8,12,0,1,10,100,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379952077119157,0.0,0.12160033040085938,0.0857346935122632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475545635427336,0.0,0.13541774103577087,0.10433564587497632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501333988646235,0.0,0.0,0.1056212688435676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356702705670396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560742333944076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107300505130828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859977971394022,0.0,0.0,0.08098551698317702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558974721903575,0.0,0.1239948385792586,0.0,0.1177288521666988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473142007758176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968447058804725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4842245162456556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26252205560947794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565443592240908,0.0,0.06738555292656905,0.09994693104649513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538131801865168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717391662259176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18027107762047329,0.0909168692455435,0.09456762329247377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650723545399667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704911972632386,0.25501572514205484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326112857133464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854979069314583,0.0,0.0,0.1316417544272988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791334273714844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856622287155603,0.0,0.0,0.07149732101205182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232102688102922,0.097325437870979,0.0,0.0,0.11024488339398833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681187398809712,0.0,0.2368785574912365
mentalhealth,TheBPDBeluga,2019/04/01,"Really struggling being at home again I’m a university student who is now on Easter break for a month. I have gone home for a bit but I had just forgotten how shitty home could be.

My sister is probably having the biggest negative impact on me. She is really selfish which just makes me feel crappy.  She keeps making petty jabs at me or shouting at me for no reason over nothing ... On top of this she is “stressed” right now and my parents are treating her like royalty but ignoring me. I know it sounds stupid to feel jealous but my parents paid for her to get counselling to cope yet when I went through a really bad time mentally they just ignored it.

My mum isn’t helping either. She is very weight conscious which doesn’t help when I am trying to recover from an eating disorder. It has only been a couple days and so far her and my sister commented on the amount I eat and how all I ever think about is snacks ... She is also on her latest ‘diet’ which is triggering me so much. It seems to please her much if she eats less than me and will purposely give me really high calorie foods and something low calorie for her. Tonight all she had for dinner was a salad wrap but gave me this creamy chicken thing and then apple cake and ice cream. It’s like she is purposefully trying to make me gain weight to make her look more skinny in comparison.

I’m heading back to uni for a couple days on Thursday but my family expect me to stay with them most the month but I just can’t do it. It’s making my BPD really bad again. No idea how I will survive a 3 month summer at home with no flat at uni to escape to ...",4.33752525252525,5.165156512345682,5.377093153759823,82.74237373737377,70.29629629629629,8.360044893378229,26.455667789001122,8.575989854853784,1.7495913580246911,1266,38,253,20,22,418,179,324,0.194,0.745,0.061,-0.9943,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,3,20,13,2,2,12,0,27,12,2,10,3,49,47,25,0,3,13,5,4,2,0,2,0,2,4,0,14,10,11,3,8,0,1,2,7,10,0,0,8,8,44,3,38,34,10,43,0,1,2,0,28,19,0,4,22,183,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760500283179402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312467663826185,0.15880611659674848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038226480538132,0.0,0.11977290444135864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592820657353433,0.21044878793465224,0.0,0.12266099527648147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899082217722086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919277230329993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602180272438133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965015731983332,0.0,0.0961690552399376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149931695136642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04968490546157421,0.09122689743104273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975982302728235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748469162234474,0.10047651201120436,0.3815651549686666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735433777134726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452768537667353,0.0,0.0,0.05226350577186828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292039311352407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985857065163163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31739406886730515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958366587617336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277195240767304,0.0,0.1398162973595448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124932627128082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232649695155842,0.0,0.0,0.21119068321507412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438931025763326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253198730103397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046118389607829,0.09777682949977276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121337751007998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657386622435789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321127137410721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136207081378852,0.0,0.0,0.10893471282856547,0.09941732868304827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317904513397156,0.060935112411943576,0.0,0.0,0.055452548611694616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291309253464384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846600764607364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316080738606548,0.0,0.08815702140004418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anon7567,2019/04/01,"Can anyone put a name to how I'm feeling? Title kinda says it all, for years I've been depressed and after I lost my last friend(parents aren't in the picture) I accepted that I am going to take my life soon. And after accepting my soon iminite death, I've been happy since, like there's no worries in the world and I can do anything I want, I still care about the other around me and want to donate all the money and my belongings before Im gone to help others who need it more(so I've ruled out this weird mind state as not sociopathic) I walk around with a genuine smile and am just really enjoying my last days here, experiencing and enjoying and trying as many new things as I possibly can before my time is up.

Is there any condition or term that might match how I'm feeling(or if this is a condition what that condition may be?) ",5.585714285714289,5.677459476190478,6.414380952380951,78.99728571428572,67.33333333333333,9.815238095238096,29.3,9.642632912329526,2.483245714285714,664,21,132,13,10,220,107,168,0.092,0.7340000000000001,0.174,0.9148,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,12,10,0,0,7,0,15,1,0,2,2,31,26,15,1,4,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,12,12,0,0,3,0,2,4,3,3,0,0,4,3,15,7,18,19,3,24,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,5,13,90,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956065993801955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293437904851125,0.0,0.1446812861291819,0.31302637826704705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992123098085357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792557561254299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338653891663883,0.0,0.1514297477402236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888976671024152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583472252053266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992007634389563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871590114257186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784551328097895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991105458494487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866264146438633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418378161718024,0.08589463786893052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192353309591215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782494572870552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651260351488252,0.1775236707035687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036506468804118,0.0,0.1698038346708335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820571029035305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674327254191785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263199700913586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981564869607688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454365090824948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040659223838045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321914760688302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680409479235128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251950992268316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936727448797133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20740123204612185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854931038655786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132195038053719
mentalhealth,xtyrant_,2019/04/01,Im struggling Gday guys i was born with profound hearing loss meaning im fully deaf in my right hear and cant hear fuck all and rely on lipreading for most of my life was severely bullied in school because i had to wear a bunch if wires and a big box in a singlet growing up and it scarred me for life im too scared to wear any hearing devices that can help me hear. Ever since i was year 1 i remeber always fighting always having voilent out bursts at home over nothing most of the time the modem getting shut off at night or anything like that and it has only gotten wordt as ive gotten older. Ive got multiple asaault charges and have just came back from court recently and got told if i came back again i would be going to jail apart of me is terrified but at the same time its what i want i want isolation to be trapped alone with my thoughts in a dark room i can never control mt thoughts it sometimes goes so fast and i have break downs or whatever i dont know how to explain the shit i go through im worried for my girlfriend i tell her time and time again to run from me and block me. Im obsessed with pain amd giving out pain to other people and just want it all to end i just want to be normal more than anything eles in the world my world is falling around me i cant hold down a job cause i constantly like people then next minute i loathe them idk what is going on with me someone please tell me what steps i can take to better my life. Any help would be greatly appreciated,4.213653846153846,4.578164852564104,4.752333333333336,88.77600000000002,70.34615384615384,7.393846153846152,29.06153846153846,6.961326702584282,1.3334161538461533,1182,42,258,9,20,377,174,312,0.155,0.727,0.118,-0.9029,1,3,0,0,2,0,4.0,0,0,1,3,12,13,3,3,10,0,25,10,3,3,4,52,53,20,0,9,8,0,0,2,1,2,6,6,2,1,11,20,0,3,5,0,0,9,4,9,0,0,13,6,36,4,43,34,7,55,0,1,0,1,17,25,2,6,22,159,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469392033042089,0.0,0.0,0.13608619136560265,0.0,0.0,0.11121919127320228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458720990663794,0.07279681430348495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575938303694734,0.0,0.049849094047344084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723230708984434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187056928280184,0.0,0.08400513592360385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836939249528533,0.09171727201039996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583933155400554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242810627349873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396989180451118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755993862816668,0.042723902137758216,0.07844573723078763,0.13942332815015054,0.0,0.13080538502923447,0.09015688808389012,0.0,0.08096980299345906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4608301129203767,0.0,0.1096237064020927,0.0,0.08202668490869737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416535070090802,0.0,0.08114876508563068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494123285995511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17327965278718002,0.07990196912127609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907661410675538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306968474430782,0.0,0.08696831406774856,0.07674001011846153,0.08012183704983555,0.07846502372366697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219333918457545,0.17402807849062174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338455191870082,0.0,0.0,0.08976405679436097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074264428865881,0.0,0.0,0.06983514129257913,0.0,0.0,0.08187073373168678,0.08276035539021599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238212721933137,0.08394054756703273,0.06764487135709242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928743228770637,0.0,0.080877262674655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854886646556441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061484392396327636,0.0,0.14294937266795402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298399443607259,0.1907339251763372,0.0,0.0,0.07813922385217538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19293133133585424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083046170512422,0.0,0.11618079181894728,0.0,0.0,0.052660221414445686
mentalhealth,kkanonthrowaway,2019/04/01,"Tourettes, depression, breakup, all in college. Feeling stuck Have had the worst year. Can't live with my current housemates in college. Got blindsided by my girlfriend and had my grandfather die. I'm stuck

Today my ex told me she's seeing someone else and basically denounced our whole relationship we had. Have been struggling with depression and she knows it. It's like being tripped when you're hopping on one foot. 

Not sure what to do but have begun a letter and just feel like at least getting my thoughts on paper before I do anything. My tourettes has kept me really frustrated and upset all the time and has gotten kinda hard to manage too recently. 

I just want to be happy again and feel that joy I used to have when I was younger. The tourettes has kept me so shy and hidden from other people, I put alot into relationships but when people suddenly leave I get really upset just being an introvert and pouring in all my effort and energy.

Has anyone who's been through college had depression like this. It's been my darkest few months and I want to know realistically if I'll be happy ever again ",5.246009615384615,7.110497735576928,5.5915384615384625,78.12846153846156,69.24038461538461,8.276923076923078,30.30769230769231,8.841846274778883,2.6108115384615385,891,36,154,16,16,284,127,208,0.183,0.691,0.126,-0.8909,1,0,0,1,0,0,16.0,2,0,0,1,11,15,1,3,6,0,23,1,1,1,5,40,43,18,1,3,7,1,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,15,0,2,6,0,0,2,2,8,0,1,16,5,22,7,17,23,8,23,0,3,1,0,11,7,0,3,17,110,30,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148993278757623,0.0,0.119443349521263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350913327386055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750438658204058,0.0,0.15063933710027486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212514254923063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312934809627921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22017156622159,0.10369281648172253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166629814207336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608705860050418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090226775813438,0.13002291467384006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953763773338575,0.0,0.0,0.15368937553864204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127340071573704,0.0,0.12816717677045367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585469440043948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835514611829653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20125286309942625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459125021801844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859693585254436,0.0,0.14331483489005184,0.3116664272428794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566311096184702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298231010082306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173882361709504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679902722033727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523025008734232,0.08463619576556823,0.0,0.13758208013953455,0.13869387191204818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536012798221585,0.0,0.0,0.1712225437939959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620510836205835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346970245740284
mentalhealth,werewaffles,2019/04/01,"How often do you take mental health days? Do you feel guilty about it? I've got problems and use most of my PTO on mental health days. The frequency varies but currently I take maybe 1-2 days a month, usually on Mondays. Mondays are hardest for me mentally, but I worry the timing looks shady like I just want longer weekends. 

I feel so guilty everytime I call in ""sick"" like I'm doing something wrong. I've been at this job a little over a year and nobody has ever said anything about my absences, but I worry it all just looks suspicious as everyone else uses their PTO for vacations. Also I'm clearly not recovering from a physical illness when I return to work the next day.

How often do you take mental health days? Do you feel guilty about it? Has anyone ever said anything?",3.239545884578998,5.520560225165564,4.245567644276253,83.83451986754969,75.88741721854305,6.963292336802273,24.69299905392621,7.957251820313856,1.5665171239356668,618,21,113,10,14,200,93,151,0.187,0.743,0.07,-0.965,2,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,4,1,1,14,4,0,0,7,0,9,5,0,4,4,24,25,11,0,2,6,0,3,2,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,7,15,2,14,21,2,24,0,0,2,0,8,6,0,3,20,68,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973036398764002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845640262668041,0.0,0.1846704449146443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11457393457788068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618149787936524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373294864027973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029918420822164,0.0,0.10721676483282616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020278338919595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897406546555829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578062674571311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11134623091624292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963547128600123,0.11245897006171976,0.0,0.0,0.18844801956275345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272508682341616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45230532922870703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956102640344424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193313782454415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073651103860958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134654564469552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638095440191755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530927739793288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542768597228614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19381833062971324,0.12357804622929368,0.0,0.0661814648295373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816866364624835,0.22789941581558845,0.0,0.0,0.12267864353449165,0.0,0.07225639438290883
mentalhealth,helpmeimlost24,2019/04/01,"Teenage son text friend to say he wanted to “end it all”. Advice needed. My 14 year old son is like any other teen. Can be moody and sullen at times, likes to shut himself away and play computer games for as long as he can get away with, but is usually lively, has friends over, goes out riding his bike with them and generally acts like any other teenage boy.

I have no reason to believe that anything has changed in his life recently. He is doing well at school, but regardless, this is something we have never put any pressure on him about. He seems the same as he has always been. He has never expressed suicidal thoughts or mentioned feeling depressed.

So, it came as a shock to me today when I received a call from the school to say that he had text one of his friends to say he wanted to ‘end it all’ last night. The school is rightly concerned and informed me so that I could talk to him and get him help should he need it.

He has gone to school today as normal and seems completely fine.

Part of me wants to believe that this could have been a text for attention as he hasn’t spent as much time with the friend he text recently, but I know that mental health should always been taken seriously, so would never accuse him of this.

Looking for some advice on how to approach this as a parent. How can we broach this subject with him without making him clam up. I want to make sure he knows he can talk to us. We tell him we love him all the time and make sure he knows that he is the most important thing in our lives, so this is a scary and worrying turn of events.",5.757222222222223,5.554372882165608,5.568747346072191,86.20786978060866,66.99363057324841,8.506440198159943,28.90941259731068,7.793537801064563,1.5605646142958238,1231,36,260,12,18,382,160,314,0.067,0.759,0.175,0.989,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,6,0,1,0,9,18,0,1,11,0,31,3,0,6,8,63,56,27,1,13,5,3,1,3,4,3,2,3,0,1,19,18,0,0,10,3,1,7,6,5,1,1,9,5,28,13,47,41,8,40,0,1,1,1,57,13,0,5,23,169,47,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678986757501809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296643771797488,0.0,0.0,0.1752633175634182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069583537340758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142877717988602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358018070879968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772275412825523,0.09825707670383148,0.0,0.0,0.0908803929564302,0.0,0.0900740135453313,0.0,0.0,0.13718278575606735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399334636354339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217985367468098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043438201350663314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654925025405115,0.0,0.08976787479689217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131731209584172,0.0,0.0,0.05758303115282039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14164011581558142,0.07002734895942272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068010878349948,0.1259124799212491,0.0,0.1517185454955016,0.07602681353778809,0.0721419725479669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775362795788238,0.0,0.17203489130551938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657612513049154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315304295810467,0.12740095693371756,0.1987750865552221,0.0,0.0,0.08061983193873777,0.08417263729323797,0.0,0.0,0.09014710563309908,0.0,0.058214201510388225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539184302052724,0.0930311387816273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863623322219038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832882046400274,0.16964966261517242,0.0,0.0,0.07336586671978154,0.0,0.20495499481567805,0.0,0.3477782154289445,0.0,0.1564167610205375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613699051430101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09397056659938856,0.0,0.16193654224155252,0.0,0.0,0.1381008943909964,0.07508830388768711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057074161263724235,0.0,0.0,0.0682021964626934,0.1502827889486376,0.0,0.16286348510586635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344438644450218,0.0,0.0,0.10333801989734696,0.0,0.09461669100360408,0.0,0.20268555456277704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724256102301216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281326690259143,0.0,0.0,0.08724481922183834,0.0,0.061027330440106976,0.0,0.0,0.05532261715545424
mentalhealth,swentech,2019/04/01,12 year old daughter has unnatural fear of bugs. My 12 year old daughter has an unnatural fear of bugs. She will totally freak out and start crying if she finds a single bug on her bed or in her room. At first I chalked this up to being overly girly but I realize now that something is going on. Thinking of talking to a therapist. Looking for some advice.,2.477285714285713,4.8438698714285735,4.155714285714286,83.07928571428572,78.85714285714286,6.857142857142858,27.142857142857146,7.957251820313856,1.9267142857142865,281,12,53,5,7,94,54,70,0.119,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.7466,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,3,0,5,0,0,0,1,10,9,4,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,1,7,0,13,7,3,16,0,0,1,0,7,8,0,3,7,39,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22200186381993176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24955128039269955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5112909859173405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764232991257053,0.19324284533787806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291140703580859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907775900403759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476783402349109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489756957300068,0.0,0.0,0.16080221336875775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826021307971378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637784768158675,0.0,0.14557052298747192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925984750036157
mentalhealth,Beausoleil86,2019/04/01,"Disappointing discussion with doctor So my meetings with doctors usually goes 2 ways.

1. They recognize my problem with anxiety and depression, so they go right to discussing medication
2. They analyze my living situation and tell me cats cure depression

Today was the 2 type of meeting. I'm being sarcastic on the cat bit, but it's the second time a doctor has asked me ""But don't your cats make you happy?"" Yes, they make me happy. Very happy. They're one of my reasons to live. But they don't take away my depression and anxiety.

Every time we talk about my support in life I feel it's always the same discussion. I tell them people leave me because my anxiety and depression overwhelms them. As much as I try to control it, it regularly spills over because I get triggered easily by abuse from my past. I tell myself to only contact friends when I'm in a good mood so I don't overwhelm them, but my depression and anxiety never gives me a relief. It's every day, 24/7. I can only fall asleep listening to documentaries so my mind won't go into haywire.

The help I was hoping to get from the doctor was medication that could help ease the overwhelming feelings my depression and anxiety gives me, so I can focus on other things. Even when I tell myself I don't need to feel bad about something, my emotions about it are painful and my mind keeps telling me ""Yes, you do feel horrible about this."" But I've pretty much tried every medication they can give me, which the doctor told me. And I felt she implied that I was thinking medication was a magical fix that would take everything bad away. That's absolutely not what I expect. I'm overwhelmed by the feeling that my anxiety and depression will be this intense for the rest of my life. I don't want to live like this.

I've been denied therapy on several occasions, because it's deemed my anxiety is too high to focus. Usually when one subject is brought up, it triggers several other instances of abuse. I was in private therapy twice and the therapists refused to continue treatment because I overwhelmed them. The only help I'm receiving is a meeting with psychiatrist once a week. He's thankfully patient with me and we've been meeting for several years. He's retiring this summer and I know I won't get help after that. He knows that too. 

I feel frustrated. I feel like I'm doing everything I can to improve my situation and sometimes I feel I make things worse the harder I try. It's gotten to the point where I'm scared to get help because things like today's disappointment set me back so much. I see no point going to another doctor when I'm just going to waste their time about how I fail to keep a social life. No adjustments was made to my medication. ",3.9505757382621622,6.083495470363289,5.3227813894200136,77.60135075419589,73.263862332696,8.855389844911834,29.977862757595076,9.444778638647367,3.0579296282133,2173,96,388,55,45,726,224,523,0.206,0.657,0.13699999999999998,-0.992,0,0,1,0,2,1,51.0,1,3,11,2,22,34,1,6,21,2,32,16,1,9,1,63,81,31,0,7,7,0,9,3,1,4,15,1,0,0,27,20,0,4,14,0,0,7,11,21,0,4,14,11,74,12,51,60,6,45,0,15,1,0,48,16,0,1,23,253,101,8,0.0,0.12546337899354806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04405484801201928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055517910945245184,0.2835218203857306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049496839921547166,0.0,0.09948796874207716,0.04071177575169031,0.08841446286137432,0.1613752460668604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780270846766208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059382813758670674,0.04227262616888372,0.0,0.0,0.03414542916804041,0.0,0.3192128132987301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32515141212470505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05955649449734105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034969964225174933,0.0,0.13382645185923686,0.0,0.09516789627306643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21416644510023894,0.037824233396874116,0.05083592600138092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040905516128287536,0.0,0.11064723003983312,0.1523702734074755,0.12036045625394833,0.04440812365836616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908421834347626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774410642106896,0.05593976497903323,0.0,0.05258676900794923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412068073512546,0.0,0.0,0.058194859103640875,0.0,0.0,0.056061576956182815,0.0,0.0,0.11219079159333753,0.07759940380817977,0.0,0.14025538236311386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500982561334272,0.10602447833497393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666848066835602,0.0,0.0,0.10691960406544744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676297262875812,0.039258373390911434,0.04083478783107095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638516636610594,0.07175440167965441,0.12080218033770238,0.05633768180880967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050542414025313134,0.03670570211102148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010110983244112,0.0,0.0,0.053864547395493366,0.0,0.0506616362875631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054436731064095495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045215117047064414,0.0,0.0,0.0530076225219956,0.0,0.04219066134827757,0.0,0.0,0.17943983292503465,0.0,0.0,0.1190257872903229,0.0,0.05397120919110436,0.0,0.040759986911439484,0.052364394638509726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008185864558345,0.0,0.0,0.07961676449169021,0.042555539676528864,0.2313832440714485,0.0487450483288023,0.12109545130443725,0.06147373739259755,0.10552379453617958,0.033925300541035736,0.0,0.0,0.0926187366997981,0.0,0.10037217402311506,0.05059163749151475,0.0,0.10783943636398327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662384565492732,0.04368553345158833,0.031228592678896706,0.04202562640002183,0.04246963888934744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539559273028736,0.03761092197627254,0.0,0.0,0.03409512790992957
mentalhealth,elonchan420,2019/04/01,"In need of some advice? Hi,

I recently met with my psychiatrist for the last time and was undiagnosed with bipolar because I now no longer meet the DSM-5 criteria. I still am diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. Currently, I'm kind of going through this weird period where I'm unsure of what I want to do with my life. I'm in college, on my second year after coming back from being homeless among some other issues. Honestly, I'm doing well. Definitely better than I thought I would be years ago-- back then, I dealt with losing a lot of friends to heroin and other drugs and falling into some pretty shitty patterns myself. A long time ago I was set up to get some really great scholarships and be on my way to a great college-- then I fell into some bad patterns thanks to giving into some messy stuff while living in poverty. Basically, I'm on the mend. However, I've been really struggling with finances and feeling unsure of what I really want out of life. There's so many questions going around in my head right now. One being about my sexuality-- I've always considered myself as ""pansexual"" or bi and I'm definitely gender non-conforming... but I'm in a relationship with a man and sometimes feel lost about it? I'm not sure if I'm ever doing the right things? Should I really be worrying so much about half of the things that I do? Do I want to be a lawyer, ethicist, or professor-- or do I just want to clock out of it all because of the drama and emotional labor that comes with so much of it? Lately I just feel like I'm completely lost. 

​

TLDR; after dealing with some fucked up things in my lifetime, I'm on the mend. But now I feel lost and unsure. Any advice on the best way to handle these things? I just want to find some kind of outlet/coping mechanism that could be helpful. I often feel like I don't fit in anywhere, and just need to figure out being in a healthy mindset about myself and my life. ",4.0090476190476165,5.743727047619046,5.307068783068786,79.45552380952384,72.17460317460319,8.108783068783069,25.827513227513233,8.745826893841286,1.9923284656084657,1536,50,282,29,30,512,186,378,0.13699999999999998,0.732,0.131,-0.5464,2,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,0,6,23,22,1,1,15,0,22,9,1,0,3,73,58,25,0,11,11,0,5,2,1,2,6,0,0,1,17,30,0,0,9,1,2,6,3,9,1,3,8,5,30,13,64,39,13,61,0,5,0,2,10,27,1,15,27,205,47,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722628142337466,0.15626524725825872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334126011486862,0.0955018920621906,0.1071022582421846,0.0599396276365702,0.0,0.06742843950042145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846512625255489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355516166723946,0.07359494370362295,0.10746117108075397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924996606983901,0.07795449489535113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185317105295007,0.09241527959240417,0.0,0.0,0.07037426779329385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908706000991657,0.0759166325892991,0.08946234196682988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221681370912147,0.0,0.0,0.09914796104318747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797295452398793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228363855904126,0.1259374196205969,0.0,0.0,0.08056025181348059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809834181425839,0.08148592003596343,0.04605059173695895,0.08455390163266845,0.10018633508004336,0.0,0.0,0.1943538786339788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045918905933044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590797691177362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919974172390626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18357279686871045,0.0,0.07184754823812711,0.09942809003819858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677204439554804,0.08612352277932768,0.0,0.07783105942238994,0.07800295504849787,0.0,0.09860842637548994,0.2886524325249009,0.07493523281855581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936222083204896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958912104315487,0.1307124507052635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059727345291698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967216912029191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873928656876367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258642588353288,0.0,0.08702965698007817,0.09463159300976562,0.0,0.15054568612145736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995754463309998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717475740451533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703903680428922,0.0,0.0,0.09214522544081057,0.10090157816331548,0.0,0.0,0.08307285441404609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114937243272692,0.0,0.0,0.23423068932237795,0.0,0.0,0.06997495511559318,0.10279269541394068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259942372069855,0.13992613918238406,0.0,0.0,0.07925030308305837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895125468936413,0.0,0.06261359501386235,0.0,0.1071022582421846,0.11352120175330717
mentalhealth,AngeryBananaMama,2019/04/01,"Am I depressed? The past couple of weeks have been rough. I was drowning in all of the negative thoughts I ever had about myself. It felt like something was crushing my chest all the time and it hurt whenever I thought about talking to someone about it. I isolated myself from everyone, and kept everything from my partner. I was tired all the time and I slept the days away. I felt hopeless, and whenever I tried to think of any future plans, they weren’t there. It was like there’s a wall blocking me from seeing them. I wanted to break up with my partner because I thought he hated me but is just too nice to end things. I thought about killing myself, and at the time it really seemed like the most logical thing to do. I felt empty and full at the same time, and I was just so exhausted. There were also lots of times when people were talking to me and it takes a second or so for me to respond. I felt like I was trying to think through a fog. It physically hurt to think of any sort of positive thing and they’d get shut down by thoughts of everyone else being better off if I disappeared. I felt guilty all the time. There was just this ever-present guilt that gnawed at me and everything I did felt like a mistake.

Now I’m not feeling like something’s always crushing me. I’m just...detached from my emotions. It’s like they’re muted, and it feels like I’m just forcing it whenever I try to laugh or react to something. There’s still a weight in my chest that’s similar to the one that smothered me in the past two weeks, but it’s not as bad. I’m still constantly tired, but somewhat less. I don’t feel like I usually do, and it’s like I’m always teetering at the edge. One wrong move and I’ll get back to sleeping all the time and isolating myself again. 

It feels like that weight is a shadow that constantly follows me around and it shows a little bit of itself every now and then just to remind me it’s there.

I’ve never been to a mental health professional, and I can’t afford one at the moment. I know it’s wrong to look for a diagnosis from non-certified people but I was just wondering if I could be depressed. 

I doubt that I’m depressed, so if anyone has any tips to get over this, I’ll be grateful.",2.9197608917121087,4.561169809312641,3.946488883562053,88.47849403727453,74.85365853658539,7.0929705758974055,25.49295859051957,7.824948511530503,1.3146954036075984,1748,60,365,25,37,565,193,451,0.16399999999999998,0.7170000000000001,0.119,-0.9554,2,0,3,0,0,2,44.0,0,0,3,2,30,30,3,2,23,0,29,10,4,1,7,77,67,33,2,6,17,0,13,11,2,0,4,0,0,2,28,19,2,2,22,1,0,3,7,16,0,5,28,15,48,14,54,34,12,50,0,6,2,0,9,18,0,12,39,253,76,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053720638180871305,0.11179165845114553,0.0,0.0,0.13704598959592676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04697103445452668,0.0,0.0,0.05980089911608509,0.0,0.0,0.06311408121631806,0.051654212137230614,0.05608916997990575,0.04094987772027756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059411729866814186,0.0733388143888847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14518682379504347,0.0,0.05363458506559264,0.07432898739350904,0.0,0.04332297496724916,0.0,0.17357582037501976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611694409513667,0.07556397980964352,0.059498013997890564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215291102983758,0.056598693345072996,0.12837912997435744,0.12074694881219547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586485462286654,0.1919622457862589,0.3869970774869277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529009212961922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632241133820553,0.0,0.07140496697996344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438266355654748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432031214655771,0.0,0.03691818327662733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610069069881096,0.06732801888234019,0.0,0.0,0.05641093730672321,0.0,0.0,0.05711064917679772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769762725503434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139747717051391,0.0,0.0,0.051810287177595435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365606271541854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825422265610062,0.0931427867481303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04303467795701478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053530589890899115,0.06115452480720196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722453278836127,0.0,0.05691802296424596,0.15514614421210715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729371120944403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050508006182498025,0.1079870790934237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388628640869454,0.1291310417153597,0.0,0.26665127754025103,0.27419613854782793,0.15441790386048931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368243221980632,0.0,0.06562120957480885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398489444996931,0.0,0.03962215651858229,0.0,0.10776910100713796,0.16360458780659856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284952714513296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689286277149866,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway12390121,2019/04/01,"How do I stop this habit of saying out-loud ""I hate myself""? I do it pretty consistently, dozens of times a day, I believe it but I think if I could at least stop saying stuff like ""I hate myself"", ""you're a piece of shit"" things would get easier.

Some other examples in this thread: https://old.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/6ez8gx/does_anyone_ever_say_they_hate_themselves_like/",8.983505747126435,13.072116431034484,5.269655172413792,74.49919540229888,65.72413793103448,6.625287356321839,16.563218390804597,7.793537801064563,0.3204045977011494,315,4,47,4,6,84,42,58,0.25,0.614,0.136,-0.8248,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,0,4,1,1,1,0,9,8,3,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,7,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,9,1,5,6,3,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,2,5,34,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636890983035537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686626361405514,0.0,0.0,0.15093996627128828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122279098382631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621428947567444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434279471527607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455913504371117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381083842022353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722447038250196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402443119812765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913449861350489,0.0,0.0,0.2679260686522845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548941079564693,0.1499668870526346,0.0,0.0,0.13647379589966507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625918703766676,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bossybabygirl,2019/04/01,"Hearing Things... Sometimes at night while I am trying to fall asleep, I will hear my parents yelling and screaming at each other, except I know they aren't. My parents haven't really fought like this since I was a teenager, I am 24 now. My family used to have screaming matches, sometimes I was apart of them and sometimes I would just be hiding in my room waiting for the storm to pass. Could this be some sort of PTSD flashback? I've been under the impression that I have a dual diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder/Bipolar Disorder, along with bulimia remission and a history of ADHD, generalized anxiety and dysthymia. Curious if anyone else experiences something like this?",8.710925058548009,9.25006768032787,8.61697892271663,64.32532786885247,60.72131147540984,11.889461358313815,41.19906323185012,11.491704259439757,5.2497128805620585,555,29,84,15,7,180,85,122,0.14,0.807,0.053,-0.856,2,0,1,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,2,0,2,6,1,0,5,0,14,1,1,1,0,18,20,6,0,3,3,2,0,2,0,2,0,5,1,1,6,7,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,5,14,3,15,11,2,11,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,3,5,64,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031837339141344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933455392586035,0.0,0.0,0.11821444555593605,0.17322746234238712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498494997571184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937635740830463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123243206240962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537838399369936,0.15937979503588712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810979439973384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291391210904744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519361094095014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586564075269845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754541967419501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762136977675452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976283834238652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083076124136008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985263046713367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015479029550475,0.501629955225537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231952698188716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147842961451038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601820709898952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009919613758442,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jinshushei,2019/04/01,"Cannot stay focused, need solutions Hello.

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This is actually the first time I've ever posted on Reddit but I'm looking for some answers about focus attention issues.

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I'm 27, have a wife and a 1 year old with a stable blue collar job.  I life live with lots of regrets, such as not finishing college or getting any degree period.  I kind of fell into the lifestyle of blue collar work because I never could focus straight near the end of high school and especially into college.  I've tried to get remedies for this problem but they always end up in prescriptions (tried anxiety medication and it was like ten-fold worse).

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To elaborate on the problem, whenever I'm sitting down or having a conversation with someone that isn't 100% casual, my mind wanders elsewhere almost immediately.  I recognize the problem, but if I try to fight what my brain is telling me to do, I get this internal feeling of ""I can't do this right now, you need to peace out ASAP"".  Even finding the courage to write this has been difficult because I consider it ""work"", although it's not.

​

Another example is exactly that, if I consider something ""work"", I just cannot find the willpower to start nor finish.  If I have to write a paper or do a resume, even if some of these things are considered hobbies, I give up almost immediately because I get that ""feeling"" that I just CANNOT sit there and do the ""work"".  This was my problem in college especially since it's nothing BUT that, hence why I stopped going and fell into this field of work I never really enjoyed.

  
In conversations, the issue is still there.  I'm a bad story teller because I lose train of thought rapidly and I always just ""want to get to the finish"" so I end up telling terrible short stories with people and I think people recognize my social ineptitude based off that and other factors such as changing subject randomly during mid-conversation.  I appreciate my wife, but sometimes when she's talking, almost immediately I want to change subject to something that just so happened to pop into my head.  I can carry a conversation most of the time but it has to be super endearing or something I can totally relate with.

​

I don't think I have ADHD, but I'm sure i have a form of ADD.  I used to actually be a straight A student as a kid and could always focus on my work but as I got older this issue got worse and worse.  I couldn't focus in school worth a damn on any project and it just spiraled out of control.  I'm not sure how to explain this to a doctor; I've tried and they just look at me confused but it's been affecting my life for many years and I want it to go away.

​

Sorry for a long post, I hope someone reads this and has some sort of lead.  I don't even know what to classify this problem so it's hard to find information specifically related.",5.9261626694473435,6.687273868613138,6.816650677789365,74.07767153284674,66.70072992700729,9.401543274244004,34.45276329509906,9.461161749540981,3.3061772054223155,2272,103,401,43,35,757,246,548,0.138,0.784,0.078,-0.988,2,0,3,0,1,0,83.0,0,1,2,11,22,22,2,1,26,0,35,6,2,5,7,107,69,42,0,19,26,2,3,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,32,26,0,2,13,2,1,5,14,13,0,1,7,7,47,9,68,57,7,60,0,2,4,0,21,27,1,20,24,275,79,18,0.0,0.0,0.10259578717010924,0.0,0.06317542270697189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791503165711546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122008122777162,0.3417384979254245,0.38324858351780733,0.0714948429202912,0.05512117366245908,0.04021367733273792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938850822184082,0.0,0.04389132154541419,0.12817763221741404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868225357557155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121801485818444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058958457442417275,0.08394108238407387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380464054803278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967650785154428,0.0,0.0,0.10416019469429996,0.04754993931221554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315899685366685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413609433677502,0.04471353697044825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732066549457514,0.05042713938914364,0.059750173397283564,0.0,0.0840854024268258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04648490103581771,0.0,0.04708978432592999,0.0,0.053948996411081335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554001307951807,0.0,0.0522109779975978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459914301919154,0.05216472217210474,0.0,0.0,0.054740531406636095,0.028889496022984407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425937565559337,0.0256816232250558,0.0,0.0464177005024353,0.046520217412131394,0.08828622669562103,0.05880912371593905,0.0,0.04469065717293015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053294775037088425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052955809366969066,0.0,0.0,0.05307777222944701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795565721196948,0.08108595561983792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043953729244708,0.0,0.05516031460455385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728867980086483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068947607121054,0.0,0.0,0.25149801246891745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052581311955967935,0.0,0.03367582170482064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04489200469696535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640139603454613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04348403721223516,0.0,0.0,0.053585524814322286,0.0890798437041584,0.12140613427840635,0.051990192740601286,0.058844549668444913,0.0372072544254994,0.05602951999505194,0.04198014322712957,0.0439484381589647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908771394583683,0.0,0.0,0.04225143296769729,0.09189190127578307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03492323651423082,0.06736573299805343,0.0,0.041732394924751226,0.061304581807988937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275840470878812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04540108491308275,0.0,0.0,0.09301628885056716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04743361932932669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22961679050157585,0.0,0.1607110563965896,0.0,0.0,0.38324858351780733,0.06770296052459593
mentalhealth,DJShenaniKenZ,2019/04/01,"Am I the crazy one? My roommate has become a monster, addicted to cocaine and molly. All he wants to do is stay up all night with a bunch of other drug addled people in our living room until the afternoon doing drugs. Then he sleeps on the couch in the living room until night with a roaring open mouth snore that never ends. I’ve asked him repeatedly to tone it down, I’ve asked him repeatedly to sleep on his own bed because it’s a distraction and it’s embarrassing to have him out in the open by the front door, clearly recovering from the night before: every one of my guests who comes to visit I ask them to stay outside so they don’t see and smell him in the living room. It’s disgusting. Additionally, I ask him constantly to clean up after himself but it’s always me who does his dishes. I’ve sent pictures of cigarette butts all over the porch and dirty dishes in the sink and spills of spaghetti sauce and dried red wine and everything that could be spilled- I ask him to please clean up after himself yet I’m the one who always cleans it up. Two months ago a bought a bucket for the cigarette butts and to this day I find butts everywhere. I’ve asked him to move out but he’s said nothing to me about doing so. I want to kill myself. I want to leave a mess for him to clean up.",3.1627135587059243,4.74116161450382,4.228386041439478,86.96861323155218,74.07633587786259,7.127880770628862,22.78153398764086,7.793537801064563,0.9356373682297344,1021,27,212,14,21,332,139,262,0.087,0.845,0.068,-0.7070000000000001,0,0,6,0,0,1,18.0,1,0,2,0,4,5,2,2,19,0,10,12,6,0,5,28,25,15,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,11,0,13,16,3,0,1,1,1,5,2,5,0,4,3,4,27,0,46,20,5,46,0,0,2,3,31,21,3,0,18,139,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407049756022172,0.0,0.0,0.09275497460429874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413383560988485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5869325380777148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378614803629502,0.11556407760817122,0.08903894412187421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013608125753124,0.0,0.11307614028508205,0.0,0.08354465930834924,0.0,0.0,0.0674826360535205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156912386435004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426929371967781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267791114442617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816174390142288,0.0,0.0940415842566945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956369281357328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576607053789885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079617642824996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771909199318624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352078415208772,0.11121327588143837,0.0,0.0,0.08070301626509133,0.0,0.0,0.2945860745878749,0.0,0.10040265955798017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127155650888014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254258028086033,0.0,0.0,0.11486073166315774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995343791144146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338266977437862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942646175404095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22305965213929976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221579211668344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18515401377816945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FourGaze,2019/04/01,"Please help Why does my brain feel super heavy and also my concentration, focus and memory is weakening. I have also developed the fear of forgetting things. I was very good at calculations but not anymore and lately I am unable to speak without  Stuttering. Please help ",4.4332624113475205,7.819700021276598,5.29053191489362,71.0841666666667,80.70212765957447,9.090780141843972,24.854609929078013,9.2995712137729,3.2979248226950357,219,8,32,7,6,71,39,47,0.067,0.628,0.305,0.905,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,8,5,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,5,2,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37151146319202016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303612040970367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593033928394742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032714342195826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613816876923364,0.11744869533978605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19482701629461446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113872891749344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620240725986633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5099514918427777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431775648175186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19165687348305915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20959826314289048,0.0,0.0,0.22391143859795945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anontalk023,2019/04/01,"What’s wrong with me? I don’t even know where to begin...this might be pretty long, but to anyone that reads this, thank you. 
So, for the last 5-6 months I have been in this constant state of a low mood and have been stressed. It started with me being stressed about my future and place on this earth. You see, I’m in high school and around October 2018 I started to notice I was really nervous and would think a LOT about my future. I’m not saying this is out of the norm, just simply trying to find the beginning of all of this. So, shortly after, I started to slip with my schoolwork. I would go home and barely attempt any homework, which would lead me to cram anything I could get done in any free classes I had. I just could not focus on my schoolwork. I didn’t have the mental energy to put towards something I didn’t care about. However, previously I had always been a straight A student, so this was quite odd behavior. I figured I was just lazy and that I would get back on track soon enough (spoiler alert: I didn’t). 
I then started dating someone (broke up not that long after) which looking back on it, I probably just needed something to take my mind off of what was going on. It was then in this time that I felt waaaay more anxious and uncomfortable than usual. I also noticed how much I actually isolated myself and how emotionally closed off I am. Even now, I could spend hours in my room by myself. Not that I have people, but it’s so exhausting talking and just socializing with people. I get so anxious and can’t even have a proper conversation with anyone. I feel so awkward, even with my best friends. I also noticed how indecisive I am. I feel like I can’t do anything or make up my mind with anything I do without overthinking the outcome. Anyway, to continue, I went on a trip in December for winter break, and I would say this is when things really got worse and progressed more toward how I feel now. I was so physically and emotionally exhausted everyday. After getting back, I still wasn’t doing any of my work. During this time though, I thought I was just going through a burnout, but now I’m questioning if there’s actually anything wrong with me. 
These 5-6 months have the worst of my life for my mental health. I have had a history of some episodes in my life, but I was young so it didn’t seem like a big deal, just thought I was overreacting. Anyway, I’d like to add that my memory had been so bad. I can’t remember many details about these past months, other than how I have felt. I can’t even have a conversation without my mind trailing off, or if I get interrupted then I forget what we were even talking about in the last minute. 
In school, I feel like I switch between racing thoughts and persistent headache to a numb state when I contemplate my life. I have thought about death but I don’t know if I would seriously act on it. My outlook of like has also changed. I find it so hard to get up every morning and to find a reason to keep going. This world is so disgusting to me. From racism to corrupt politicians, to horrid crime, it really makes me question why I would want to work so hard just to live in such an ugly world. Yet, everyone seems to want to put on a smile and act like there aren’t children that go missing or that there are horrible people put into power in a manipulated system. Everything is so fake and I hate it. Yet, I somehow care so much about what people think about me and want to please everyone. 
The reason here in the first place is because I feel like I may be depressed but at the same time, there are a lot of times when I think I’m just overreacting or forcing myself to feel this way? I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m such a disappointment to the people in my life. Like they would have been better off never knowing me. They can say they love me, but having them be disappointed in me hurts so much, yet I don’t seem to care enough to actually change. I feel like it’s easier just to give up. Is it worth asking for help? Is it worth being pumped on meds just to feel better in a shitty world? My head is hurting just writing all of this. I guess this is all I’d like to say. 

So...I need the opinion of a stranger. What do you think is wrong? ",4.187588297680748,5.157798592680049,5.01306385448142,84.69088347707766,70.74734356552538,7.961971464590879,27.342945190402823,8.227898612235593,1.642749880935705,3316,110,684,47,59,1077,319,847,0.17800000000000002,0.7020000000000001,0.12,-0.9962,3,0,2,0,0,0,97.0,1,3,4,13,76,47,2,5,31,0,84,10,1,11,4,144,154,62,1,19,32,0,13,11,1,10,8,4,3,1,44,32,0,1,35,1,4,13,21,25,0,1,33,19,103,22,110,103,16,118,0,8,2,1,27,51,0,21,60,496,147,10,0.0,0.0,0.13751062314824194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126879621766384,0.039083595572064735,0.0,0.0,0.09582557601077807,0.0,0.0,0.10612761403917156,0.0,0.06568636478452486,0.0,0.1546123681875099,0.041814106495616864,0.04391150034296324,0.0,0.0,0.10835329029387727,0.03921878368814856,0.028633056915320008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049293117184336016,0.08308398156079172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367005077482525,0.0,0.0993780800706867,0.0,0.0,0.05075891334126601,0.0,0.11250745147296698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04842498994568821,0.040456012900052005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04806759277668022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567199977577613,0.0,0.09706710093251096,0.0,0.18614322835572025,0.0,0.03957505365345044,0.08976551677161214,0.04221446375624721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21374932592006676,0.16778029066216416,0.09019896161381914,0.0,0.1287917999825906,0.0399534685361795,0.0,0.0,0.036289641689114124,0.0,0.14724230539393368,0.045058818055150836,0.13347337487735464,0.0,0.03756696190722415,0.0,0.051743800164361115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415349551456705,0.046374091556023136,0.04820574878907841,0.049927926465124034,0.0,0.0,0.0314836396193913,0.04962739061636076,0.04711569552969415,0.0,0.04625692702226136,0.0,0.10056675309792147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174994111675813,0.0,0.0,0.10325602925514384,0.07657519147572125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270789249944415,0.25242398488275913,0.0,0.041476211952804064,0.08313563044230758,0.039443770493852566,0.0,0.0,0.07986604890594723,0.042393118854919684,0.0,0.06270695158381845,0.047621173851542235,0.0,0.0,0.052174139821447946,0.0,0.09467134566146287,0.049828758261981056,0.14228181752706828,0.0,0.11247529941194072,0.0,0.10358716477172736,0.06965673280765276,0.03622689453894442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604302235722527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044839089411050914,0.16281872270952485,0.0,0.0981492970322178,0.05156000116475326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04778634545517937,0.050642631622132096,0.0,0.0,0.14165634336694982,0.10523643409681208,0.04995939017122553,0.04698366390053763,0.0,0.09027238555089777,0.09658792515157028,0.0,0.0,0.05320893318841755,0.0,0.0,0.14941274806799787,0.0,0.09507422397564798,0.0374297681064328,0.12828177422616938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047880971283454005,0.039798335960249585,0.07232106866126192,0.04645547345593265,0.0,0.13298512886505054,0.0,0.03751106365568772,0.0,0.10761013568268478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03531631096877909,0.07550694541561641,0.0,0.043244542677888485,0.0,0.0,0.03120541397060695,0.12038836004108736,0.04614872273341477,0.1491587595646876,0.10955656145063733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03189019376043428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051731868606067134,0.0,0.08311405497622533,0.03728335608905111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04354254391421352,0.04238397912211442,0.0,0.0,0.0905566448541482,0.0,0.06839082625578942,0.0,0.04786741383935556,0.26693453818514096,0.1540660900963285,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,capicorncolumbine666,2019/04/01,"i'm starting to think i'm manipulative and i hate it. i don't know what's been wrong with me for almost 2 years. i've just been getting worst and worst and most of it has to do with terrible abandonment issues. i feel like i'm a shitty person now. anytime i feel left out, when someone leaves my messages on read, i snapped at them and it makes me wanna rage while also wanting to cut myself. i have a really bad envious attitude when i see someone i know hangout with someone else but not me. i frequently made suicidal posts and self harm posts to the point to where i don't really go on social media anymore. bc i posted so many suicidal posts that people are use to it and don't respond when i wanna take my life. that makes me feel abandoned and makes things worse. so now, for the most part, i don't really socialize anymore so i don't snap at people. i feel like i was weaponizing my emotions somehow, like, whenever i felt like someone didn't care about me, stop talking to me for like a day or 2, i would start going about how suicidal i was. it was legitimately me feeling suicidal but at the same time somehow manipulating them.

​

 i didn't know how bad i was until i saw my younger brother talking and walking with my other brother, i saw him talking to him be he hadn't talked to me for days. so i got my razor and went into my brother's room and threatened to cut myself right in front of his face just to control him and so he would keep talking to me, he's fucking 14 and i legit was trying to make him talk to me by threatening myself. and when everything was over, i felt horrible. i hate feeling like i'm losing control of someone bc i feel like if i can't control them they'll eventually leave me and i fucking hate that feeling so fucking much. but i feel like i'm evil and get worse and worse everyday.

​

 if i'm honest, I don't want help and i don't care about having it. but i just want a better understanding of myself. am i a really manipulative person or bad? bc even tho i've done horrible shit, i never did them for malicious intent but more me going into an extreme reaction or something that was more than not just thinking that i was being neglected when i wasn't. like, for almost a year i wasn't aware that i was doing these things but whatever. you know?",2.617337355036664,4.492691938166314,4.36972697488169,84.10797233345471,76.31343283582089,7.134245150553851,26.36439752457226,8.015777009494485,1.6871997607779918,1825,70,362,30,41,616,198,469,0.282,0.6409999999999999,0.077,-0.9989,0,0,1,0,0,2,45.0,0,1,5,5,28,38,13,0,10,0,38,6,2,15,1,94,93,45,4,9,17,3,11,9,0,3,1,0,1,3,17,24,0,8,18,2,0,6,16,25,0,0,25,14,74,13,46,63,9,45,0,4,3,3,31,15,4,11,29,250,91,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940702001224762,0.0,0.0,0.04768024241473818,0.0,0.12920231605734522,0.1448961849975806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182593717020316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934736325055245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273142275024805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157860904332775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006157447602512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690340318040394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061014710842650186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498071055861576,0.06706749951509508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039380223408204816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358502788836456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27132320468836674,0.2129723027198112,0.11449426200191284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536064418264387,0.06230078776189917,0.0,0.10165484355961417,0.0,0.047685710592067686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17659518337190735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039963831277677664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06223059628410563,0.0,0.05299538499403511,0.0,0.0,0.1310682812229223,0.0,0.0,0.12626363647014588,0.06478022545775954,0.0,0.042113268106695065,0.2621577052780928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670253748578597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564164294304754,0.15919443008042364,0.060448047940296665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382953628737565,0.0,0.04598469295706503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456556140596756,0.0,0.08266972995336602,0.1041204636056252,0.0,0.0,0.056362712344053885,0.0,0.22840821721830096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059638823199199824,0.0,0.15278328379660167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091745016598225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047511563321502685,0.0,0.062199467281607385,0.0,0.06120183289589511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215556448311474,0.252590552216227,0.045900458472086465,0.0,0.0,0.08440249152657929,0.0,0.0,0.049847237273926134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26087017605441193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482884158148586,0.28753475106708626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922132980478655,0.07640762260401175,0.0,0.0,0.034766469109873216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040479891723493325,0.0,0.0,0.06206932138656141,0.0,0.051494859589099364,0.0,0.0,0.10550101926041903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527082953003711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228183972699435,0.08470849443694357,0.06518805009686061,0.1448961849975806,0.0767901131141423
mentalhealth,retrogirl101,2019/04/01,"Writer constantly refers to her stories irl I'm getting very concerned about a friend of mine.  She has aspergers so she is easily distracted into doing something she likes to do and completely immersing herself into it and easily worries and withdraws if she thinks she's offending someone.

​

Not long ago I encouraged her in writing a book based on characters she was very excited telling me about and would often share pictures and poetry based on them.

​

Now she is constantly referring to her characters in real life.  She'll say something as a remark but it'll be based on her book and curse words she invented for her book, and every day she is constantly telling me about more and more about the characters and she'll refer to them later on in a conversation that has nothing to do with her book.  It's getting to be obsessive and some people she speaks to are confused with the way she talks to them because they don't know what she's referring to and think she might be into devil worship.

​

I want to tell her nicely to be careful that she doesn't lose herself in her stories so much that she can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality and that it's getting a bit too forced on me that she's always using her book references.  I'm worried though that she'll get anxious and start withdrawing or give up on her stories.  Can anyone help me?",8.169356597600874,7.888090297709926,7.922311886586693,71.59572519083972,62.05343511450381,11.45517993456925,38.561613958560535,10.914260884657429,4.352120174482007,1126,52,192,26,14,360,133,262,0.118,0.7829999999999999,0.099,-0.8433,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,4,1,10,14,1,3,8,0,24,1,0,1,0,41,38,21,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,6,1,2,0,0,11,19,0,0,8,6,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,2,42,8,35,27,5,24,2,1,0,0,49,14,0,6,10,144,53,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892789045428955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347452373073817,0.3260910001869282,0.3657004249688532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133333807564451,0.0,0.07014628433918776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06115432201099275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095237817724034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022832289546004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518392290146927,0.3252318053828552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469829237876844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481335844810442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452417713843582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750721273257488,0.0,0.20965285879957232,0.09623637032290068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724258052699039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513341171814402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085919270960694,0.049011429819708616,0.0,0.0,0.08878030609326137,0.0,0.11223275158675433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064239818044258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374696141585177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626003078089992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954946254913726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418646107916736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977872686559738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850010622342094,0.15446293192409905,0.0,0.0,0.07100722267743043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063365479398818,0.350737446064829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285623913314829,0.09856418260829372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866445266117462,0.0,0.16554950310121028,0.059171510475780564,0.07962958236221061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037602628634753,0.0,0.0712646607743773,0.0,0.3657004249688532,0.0
mentalhealth,BertMackinFBI,2019/04/01,Benzos Is it  normal to get high on Benzos?,0.33999999999999986,2.4711741111111145,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,85.66666666666667,3.6,9.0,3.1291,-1.5502000000000002,33,0,6,0,1,12,8,9,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340868509336032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.689329657656915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6392443057373539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wannabeauthentic,2019/04/01,"Help: queer girl, agonising limerence and manic depressive tendencies Hey,

I am sorry if this is long - I just need to write. I'm in a serious, deep depressive episode and (for the first time) truly can't climb out. Life is an absolute nightmare.

I am F21 and am about 95% gay, but have always massively dissociated from my orientation. My family isn't homophobic but I have always *desperately* wanted to be straight. My deep emotional feelings for other girls have always been unwanted and traumatising. I decided to ""pretend to be straight"" at age 13, and this snowballed into a huge lie. I'd force myself to date guys that I wasn't interested in and cry myself to sleep. I became embittered, feeling sick to my stomach when I heard about straight weddings or love stories. Some of my friends were openly gay, and envy made me sick.

At 18, I told some close friends that I was ""slightly bi"". I went to college and told *all* new friends that I ""wasn't straight"". **Progress**, but still far from being *openly gay* or dating girls etc.*.* I still had to watch all my friends falling in love while not having the guts to pursue an authentic life for myself.

I met a girl this autumn, and fell madly in love with her and her powerful personality. We connect so, so deeply. I have amazing friends, but she sees right into my soul like no one has done before. I can't just fall for anyone - she's rare as hell. Her mind is sharp as a diamond. Well, she came into my life, shook me up and showed me a quality of living that I NEVER thought I'd experience, and then ended up back with her long-term ex-BF. We are now ""friends"", albeit with a clear romantic vibe between us because we connect on such a magical, soul level.

As may be clear, I'm a neurotic, obsessive person who is prone to [limerence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence). If you don't know what it's like, you won't be able to imagine it, but her emotional reciprocation is more addictive to me than crack, MDMA and heroin combined. I accept being ""friends"" with her, but a primitive, wounded part of me needs her emotionally like a baby needs its mother. I want total mental enmeshment. Zero boundaries. Even if we did date, I'd want her by my side 24/7. Totally unhealthy, totally anxious attachment issues.

Did I have a bad childhood or careless parents? Nope! I've always had a full, active life, with lots of friends, academic interests and hobbies. I just crave some people like they're drugs - it's my innate neurochemistry for sure, not just psychological.

I've always had **hypomanic tendencies** which I've used to my academic advantage, but this has recently developed into a full-blown mood disorder. I am currently in an intense depressive episode with intermittent hypomania. See, I believe that mental health conditions are ""states"" rather than labels that we ALWAYS carry. I am from a science background and believe bipolarity is, essentially, an inflammatory response to stressors. I think lying about my sexuality and getting into mental loops of despair, jealousy at straight people and dysphoria for so long has **made me mental.**

I feel like I have *learnt* how to trigger hypomania to get myself through my days in college. To et work done, chat to friends, do chores. Sometimes coffee will trigger it for me, but other times I just focus on grandiose thoughts like ""I'm clever and sociable!"" and the mood starts to rise in me. It allows me to *fuel my way* through the day, be loud, brazen, cocky and fun.

But, I **crash every night** and cry my eyes out for about 4 hours. Mainly about how madly in love I am with this girl, in the deepest, most authentic way. Her personality is just so riveting to me and i'll be forever settling. I don't fall easily - I've only had this feeling twice. I want to travel the world with her, and never stop learning from her and picking her fascinating brain. I also break down nightly over being queer, related sexuality issues, etc. Instead of helping, the crying makes my brain feel even more inflamed. I eventually fall asleep, wake up and repeat the cycle.

I am eating healthily AF, exercising, seeing lovely friends regularly, doing my academic work and doing a damn good job at being high-functioning. But I'm depressed, ideating suicide non-stop (I wouldn't act on it) and generally fucking mental.

I've tried nootropics like CBD oil, NAC, etc. and nothing helps. I'm very anti SSRIs and their dulling effects, but I'm tempted to try them as a last resort. However, I am such a perfectionist re: academics that I *can't ris*k being a less motivated, serotonin zombie. I know too much about the brain - I don't want to go on meds and lose my quirkiness, my ""glimmer"".

\---> How does one escape a nightmare of a depressive episode like this, when nothing is helping? Is short-term medication necessary? Psychotherapy has helped anxiety but doesn't TOUCH my sexuality issues. And, being so deeply in love is impossible for me to deal with.",3.800486425473772,6.581781550276244,4.868586704687222,77.48956216954794,76.59116022099448,7.69357809065526,29.178696607853627,8.622645009754043,2.721202934711578,3913,176,662,86,93,1278,430,905,0.14400000000000002,0.6629999999999999,0.193,0.9947,6,0,1,0,0,1,205.0,6,2,2,10,35,54,5,2,33,0,71,37,9,13,10,140,119,66,1,14,27,2,7,8,10,4,14,2,1,9,26,56,1,1,16,5,0,13,18,18,1,5,23,15,100,34,101,80,20,98,3,8,5,13,67,47,5,12,42,442,126,11,0.0507764886320243,0.0,0.0,0.055353867500125005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04060593961398977,0.25350063696923997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03884387482213751,0.057362979201315376,0.0,0.035504101463677135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03904398551243317,0.04239624707239322,0.030952876179753643,0.0,0.043207051960751336,0.11441542947094893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170050062319076,0.0,0.05807477598411918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732676544617073,0.06549326906711657,0.05234833019148317,0.21866857627622446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058194255040971636,0.0,0.04443484737860308,0.1039239541817378,0.0,0.0,0.05888460634492434,0.05195702423484457,0.0,0.17135014614750213,0.04497289766767765,0.0,0.16988762094991955,0.06707478371396497,0.0,0.04278138164447776,0.0,0.0,0.049669149126389686,0.047867554490510056,0.0,0.12837059157564296,0.03627473362434032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04319045529121863,0.0,0.0,0.3922978916057596,0.0469420455388692,0.05305723917590033,0.0,0.028857448634219126,0.042588909590356064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027670681387469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397303300018804,0.0,0.0,0.17017205003801006,0.053648148062409376,0.0,0.0,0.050004613157803815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589923859577872,0.05038783002655727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05581086046452557,0.04138961528275991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434597422398706,0.19845462020878013,0.0,0.04483656973047352,0.13480678378928224,0.0,0.056805902656453335,0.0,0.04316835485053037,0.2749665806212595,0.09609188253550867,0.033893700447772235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640123213020839,0.051151970339228685,0.2558537889174912,0.0,0.051269778768531074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037326561562200114,0.11295036880228422,0.07832391660849726,0.049040249129136834,0.0,0.0953005897749645,0.0,0.0974428205837974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881492560582839,0.03861780768086297,0.0,0.0,0.056381281633563575,0.05498598905578706,0.0,0.07040404772257608,0.13300821399904744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050135656802892385,0.0,0.0,0.04336284385372839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138686215673575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081315880485692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05021924560852447,0.056840121891197935,0.035939859998899516,0.0,0.08110033882439778,0.08490283623405437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554123720584328,0.0,0.047856239620623145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032535523650651495,0.0,0.08062172037001697,0.059216357710076675,0.0,0.0,0.09703822173303066,0.0,0.06894780544978654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061077863880178475,0.04385458321955834,0.0,0.04189592086549828,0.14974644284312452,0.08060802645019753,0.0,0.0,0.045654161291327766,0.04707031366975767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393177693834915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dontwantausernamepls,2019/04/01,"I’ve been in a pysch ward 9 times. AMA I was first hospitalised for 3 months in 2015. Over the next 2 years I was admitted 8 more times, sometimes for weeks other times just 48 hours. 
Admissions were mainly for self harm/mental illness etc. AMA",0.9366964285714268,3.5262852291666675,1.5884523809523827,95.8875,92.54166666666666,5.242857142857143,17.273809523809522,6.868970318607317,0.10693095238095253,193,5,40,3,7,59,39,48,0.066,0.9,0.034,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,6,1,3,12,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,9,20,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379579757599738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577567234285085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984230001040567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418752422526179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222752929542682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161258390330033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29970390712080763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5300967852898455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430719727978406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514105183362054
mentalhealth,TTXOXO,2019/04/01,"Scared.... My Dr. retired in December and was kind enough to give me 3 months worth of prescriptions. As many know if you live in Vermont, VERMONT SUCKS AND IS DEFINITELY SHORT PSYCHOLOGISTS, ALONG WITH THERAPISTS AND HOSPITALS.  I thought I would be in Florida by now, but do to personal issues between my family and I , I have not left yet. With that being said I have called I believe ALL the PSYCHOLOGISTS from Brattleboro to West Lebanon, and was told the Dr.s are NOT taking any new patients or they're booked out through AUGUST.  

I've NEVER hurt nor put a hand on anyone, I'm the crazy that SELF MUTILATES in many horrible ways.  SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND I WOULD NEVER HARM ANOTHER PERSON, their life is precious and they are loved . ",5.046585858585857,7.1806260222222225,5.191919191919193,79.69818181818181,70.25925925925927,9.353535353535355,30.050505050505052,9.800150414767053,3.0894444444444447,583,24,105,15,11,183,101,135,0.087,0.718,0.195,0.9565,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,2,0,3,7,1,1,4,0,13,4,1,0,3,23,23,12,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,2,10,0,0,3,1,1,1,5,4,0,0,5,2,13,3,18,14,2,18,0,1,0,1,11,9,1,2,7,69,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11083429516571594,0.17090229678235355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396177689668242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836264700325688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664242653677223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16840541163703834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364623636562572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634852034433375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17447709151457155,0.0,0.0,0.17011231632237814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972212169807613,0.08957140959020066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177081931759024,0.0,0.115119989415319,0.0,0.0,0.1439173206978426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709887413459316,0.0,0.0,0.3304791554734437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300917881513509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25140567828040083,0.1574103751345464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846216218088314,0.0,0.17890682088452553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384332478275535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550345281475066,0.0,0.16317480758445085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002722270226234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225432268824853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923627948738506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939060743776692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15573761508799358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696714584803506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936862992853598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23155745021408736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LilyMorticia666,2019/04/01,"I'm(20F) having borderline episodes from my boyfriend(27M) smoking weed So, me and my boyfriend have been together little over a year now. He has long drug backround and I did drugs little time when I met him. I wanted to stop and we almost broke up because of I didn't want to use anymore. He did stopp using drugs except weed.

I smoked weed every day for 7-8 months and I went in psychosis. I don't smoke it anymore. I have recently become aware that I have borderline personality disorder. My boyfriend may have that too or some kind of bipolar episodes. We have broken up two times now because of the weed. I said to him that I really don't want a parter who smokes weekly. He has said so many times that it's not going to be the case. Before we met, he had used weed every day for 5 years. 

He stopped using weed for couple of months to get his driver lisence back. After that he started using it againg and hasn't gone no longer than a week without it.

I have borderline episodes because of his smoking. He says that he smokes just because ""it's just fun to be high"". I can see that when he smokes, he becomes very passive and that remains several days after he has smoked. I kniw that he has mental health issues and it's not good for him to smoke and I think he doesn't realize how much weed affects him.

I become very angry and he becomes defensive and after every figth I just feel like killing myself (of course that is due to borderline).

I said it would be fine if he could smoke it like how normal people drink alcohol. In my opinion evem weekly is much. Am I being unreasonable here? I just can't go on like this anymore. I really want to be with him and I love him but his behaviour is triggering so much trauma and borderline episodes that I can't cope with everyday life. Help me. ",2.687158135981665,4.818939635854342,3.5030404889228417,89.21588999236059,77.01120448179272,6.456124267888974,24.26355996944233,7.463857097105799,1.0878336134453783,1418,48,286,19,33,450,173,357,0.068,0.8759999999999999,0.056,-0.4335,0,0,13,0,0,1,37.0,3,0,0,0,16,12,2,0,5,0,35,9,0,9,0,54,59,22,1,8,11,0,1,3,0,2,7,4,0,1,21,17,2,3,3,1,0,4,11,4,0,1,12,6,42,8,34,39,4,41,0,1,1,1,37,9,0,6,31,176,63,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869980803840363,0.0815161845768808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24219814138113435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259606213507474,0.0,0.1984969654278913,0.3596253955426608,0.06927036965392132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499593509306377,0.09007400792331066,0.0,0.15750008686929182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09329813943530574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797467266505806,0.283214771432021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20576378065625325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04116123608347527,0.05815634469896583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04253118881924315,0.0,0.09252962391311664,0.06827935201784355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653059576160227,0.0,0.0,0.05456461515405628,0.08600973403386017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496654170758447,0.0,0.0,0.09006349500916999,0.08477164995290985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05749934862739069,0.11931233685427985,0.16318006524593975,0.0,0.07204160217042374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347194426892571,0.0,0.0,0.0825327394102616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08203793469533797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12995472147741166,0.0,0.17952796592131734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976043408028444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056436555950464734,0.07108043504172516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430132467042807,0.0,0.08037844106404751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23230677213866024,0.06473718728201708,0.0,0.0,0.0648699107448544,0.0,0.0,0.09196542215689316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576194689166814,0.0,0.0,0.13611784613173178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052161571963109166,0.0,0.0,0.1424051908885841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952167194053195,0.0,0.0,0.3515425205817068,0.0,0.13433667855797093,0.1920610822423286,0.0,0.19589655123270347,0.0,0.0,0.0754640244974825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847231984363373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05782836944631323,0.0,0.0,0.10484537732622294
mentalhealth,HiddenSquid86,2019/04/01,"Insomnia I've done some research on google on insomnia but can't really tell one way or the other if it applies to me. I'm on a waiting list to see a therapist. I can't ever fall asleep until dawn comes and it begins to get light outside. I try watching TV or reading to make myself tired but it never works (I know the light pollution from the TV can keep people awake, but it worked for me as a teen.) My mind is extremely active at night. I have racing thoughts starting at about 10 pm that go on until morning comes. It has been a problem since I was about 14. Pot and/or Alcohol have always helped but due to legal problems I have embraced sobriety. I am not sure whether it is stress-related (I am kind of a worry wart) or an actual issue. Whether I am stressed or not it always happens. Anyone able to provide any advice or tips?

P.S.
I have a history of mental health issues with a variety of diagnoses (bipolar 2, BPD, Depression, GAD) and have been on a variety of medications (Zoloft, Prozac, Buspar, Depakote, Trazadone, Seroquel, hydroxyzine, etc.) With no positive effect. Meds have Never been good for me. I ALWAYS experience bad side effects that don't go away until I get off the medication. ",4.260478927203067,5.929918879310348,5.509080459770118,78.52174329501919,71.41379310344827,8.603831417624523,30.13026819923372,9.150863307647796,2.7741170498084298,948,40,171,20,18,316,149,232,0.151,0.805,0.044,-0.9795,0,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,4,3,8,0,1,13,0,21,13,1,3,4,35,37,18,0,3,14,0,0,0,0,0,12,0,0,0,10,6,1,2,4,3,0,5,8,5,0,1,6,4,17,3,30,31,2,26,0,1,2,0,2,10,0,7,10,114,27,5,0.1208273557122522,0.0,0.11791006961955545,0.0,0.0,0.11807109359874912,0.0,0.129127697311097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30161411769075064,0.0,0.0,0.08216674523090689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448529648995914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352127808499048,0.0,0.10088579505771084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521778247574766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20816413632173567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406842442490416,0.1226372226520792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236483352555136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475444088820504,0.0,0.10929526073839467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181923388383765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625461278890673,0.0,0.137337941437556,0.10134425335637373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068472316178745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843382898024666,0.0,0.0,0.08098802960257435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522247348621013,0.0,0.10739690543869576,0.0,0.1258230975598654,0.06640355479111497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065319817772187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421195361878474,0.24344169839513224,0.12176555566059333,0.0,0.1220011852620856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637901099098486,0.0,0.0,0.11338828826639955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818757432671661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376647486798597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312309226516034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086005331068878,0.0,0.0774050980305356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962837589321854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994963724061703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552222426811901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768146554707265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387835282577882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560843457378932,0.0,0.0,0.14028987274955276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592342388892572,0.0,0.1388732709691704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820338432126869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590713091391212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592750801076154,0.12270604482521084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toughenup2016,2019/04/01,"When am I supposed to start living? There has been only one year out of 37 that I can call a good year. First 6 years, I don't remember much but probably were bad too. All uphill battles. When am I supposed to start living?",0.8836956521739125,3.0965399782608722,2.6197391304347843,92.66656521739132,84.0,5.419130434782609,20.069565217391304,6.742157984588678,0.28410956521739106,173,5,37,2,5,57,36,46,0.183,0.775,0.042,-0.8205,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,4,9,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,4,1,4,7,2,9,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20844255897369615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549147374647417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123473100995973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20938979065186608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4408809729910324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18351728152798027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916543537887369,0.1898657360215904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691587738267712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827983213922504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35339903433127706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4822882239000285
mentalhealth,tovsii,2019/04/01,"Feeling high/confused out of nowhere? This morning I felt almost as if I was high for about an hour or two. And it is happening again now, about 10hrs later.

I was cleaning up the house and suddenly I felt as if my vision was working very hard to stay focused and I was seeing things from a very far distance. I also had a hard time focusing on my phone screen more than anything else, having to squint to really keep it sharp.

Noises felt very far away. My voice was very loud but other noises very quiet. It also feels like my forehead has a lot of ‘pressure’ in it but does not hurt. 

I don’t want to say that things ‘don’t feel real’ but they do feel very different or not quite right.

 I am hoping it is just a one time thing but am wondering if anyone else has experienced this?",2.86091041869523,4.502704360759498,3.862658227848105,89.01656767283352,75.01265822784809,6.633690360272638,22.913339824732233,7.321109707123232,0.7814901655306716,611,17,127,7,13,197,99,158,0.026,0.87,0.103,0.9168,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,2,7,4,0,1,6,0,16,1,1,0,0,30,29,16,0,5,12,0,10,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,12,4,0,1,8,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,9,17,13,2,18,20,2,17,0,1,2,0,3,9,0,9,8,88,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132889187585156,0.0,0.0,0.18094892942661345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910701255996623,0.11592074872749918,0.09310092431098402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629458076601593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820257824510805,0.0,0.0,0.09900568905469992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890204826405769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22881894950630155,0.08082406511162886,0.3258836325934725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000454001436494,0.0,0.2026944754356168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23906785681838816,0.0,0.1123691364134806,0.11141573502930574,0.13054324385266244,0.12111395457077498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056008205463447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055272318852726376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618380549209662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666358194957684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12033359187185473,0.0,0.12877303332403967,0.0724775353405398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661714821545778,0.0,0.08996993650666123,0.0,0.0,0.09015439187189664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058745147036905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22548671247156515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194050715292555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051700074990163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5600921022900435,0.0667302832430247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226906864151946,0.08236403353040778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,satnavgaming,2019/04/01,Just cant do anything I feel like shit all the time and feel like I'm letting every one down in work and at home. Just don't want to leave my bed don't see the point in doing anything. ,5.330714285714286,3.0897635,5.804761904761907,90.84857142857143,68.76190476190476,8.4,28.142857142857146,3.1291,0.6819142857142855,145,3,37,0,2,47,31,42,0.112,0.745,0.14300000000000002,0.0839,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,2,0,6,1,1,0,1,8,11,2,0,1,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,3,2,2,5,10,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,3,21,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268068129262736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21849354898607606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622462862175913,0.37052544744682064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601253713861416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27458905337630296,0.0,0.2651786589523279,0.0,0.2533874118561648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572617737990992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451471264560632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066494449486946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661946674370022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121522092980055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529573402595248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18879259744749213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,androdyke,2019/04/01,"Easy way to bring up therapy? Soooo, I've been thinking about the idea of going back to therapy for about 4(?) months now. I went for only 3 sessions back when I was 17 after my parents caught me in the middle of an attempt. I stopped going bc my anti depressants were making me feel decent anyway, I've been having plenty of really bad moments and I have other things that I feel like might be going on with me that I want to be able to talk to someone about. The thing is, the idea of bringing up the idea to my mother makes me beyond anxious, I'm scared to admit that I'm feeling this way again. I dont want to be burden, but I want help. 

Does anyway have any advice on how to go about bringing it up gently that I want seek help?

Any advice is appreciated",3.4963636363636406,4.334811050955416,5.008210770121597,84.57748118123914,72.24840764331209,6.982976259409381,23.82686740011581,6.980632752743323,0.8466229299363053,593,15,121,5,11,200,92,157,0.078,0.753,0.16899999999999998,0.9318,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,13,5,0,1,6,0,14,0,0,3,0,20,36,4,0,4,1,2,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,8,0,0,9,1,4,0,0,6,3,16,1,28,26,0,28,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,1,10,83,25,1,0.12850310358108702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511434911608141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477303398864896,0.0,0.0,0.14517193009241172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976219092612997,0.10729472391198523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067953481694803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245393191094286,0.0,0.15060468035585747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492509077053075,0.09180264287446274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921251004812636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722658432024667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.435193087474562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062780125467238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17155363896665626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632148572246305,0.0,0.0,0.10256995128730333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977324008450364,0.0,0.0,0.1426874892097756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232237866406837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865402423233907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888026265592222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743434858187237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328592704742746,0.0,0.0,0.29390899620299704,0.0,0.17074350409022285,0.0823396000468553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031778395709393,0.20399956459107715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191236644371717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grateful_dead_killa,2019/04/01,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me. When I was in my early teens, I saw a therapist for anxiety. At about 16, I was feeling much better, and felt like I had been given the building blocks needed to overcome any future obstacles, so I stopped therapy. 

In that time, I’ve had a lot of new social experiences. I think I’ve grown as a person. However, I don’t feel right. I feel like I’m not enough. And when I look in the mirror, I don’t like who is looking back.

Since graduating high school, I’ve closed myself off quite a bit. I enjoy my introverted hobbies, but I just can’t seem to make meaningful connections with others anymore. I’m very lonely.

I’ve used my social isolation pretty well, I’ve lost 35lbs and I’ve invested in my hobbies. But I’m still so lonely. But I haven’t met anyone in a long time that I want to be friends with. And as far as dating goes, it doesn’t even appeal to me anymore. I struggle to get through my days and to improve socially, academically, or otherwise.

I’m really confused, because I’m not sad. I’m just not happy. And I feel my anxiety coming back. All of my old methods of dealing with my feelings, such as writing, aren’t working because I can’t find the words to describe much of how I feel. I’m just so confused these days.",2.1745200668896345,3.99313792692308,4.2040802675585285,85.05570234113712,77.42307692307693,7.137123745819397,26.30434782608696,8.04050195162591,1.6726638795986624,991,39,203,17,23,339,142,260,0.147,0.7240000000000001,0.129,-0.6889,2,5,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,4,16,16,0,3,8,0,15,0,0,3,1,47,44,20,0,2,10,0,7,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,12,0,2,12,0,1,2,11,8,1,0,10,10,30,8,29,33,6,29,0,4,3,0,9,11,0,5,19,122,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913059112972784,0.0,0.17803421499295624,0.0,0.2308009591926415,0.0813634692993303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17895138790172546,0.0,0.1418671808018501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291330636370064,0.12703787434692626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023611810871767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008856350038213,0.11996478099194847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120233721452005,0.0,0.07685643179920636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382499833725733,0.0,0.0,0.3530187079018091,0.08312949923841613,0.11172639052521337,0.0,0.1063533525135062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990149347255562,0.0,0.060794681076664685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387020293339075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294352674457715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394986839225206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054673685221966,0.0,0.0,0.10297728207919872,0.19543063588030885,0.0,0.12702357642939072,0.09892736246760248,0.0,0.0,0.07767297135076966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17107987080437373,0.08628142933283968,0.0,0.11238377088720676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210302514900127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160337623097647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838264650887402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237659998918808,0.0,0.0,0.07454489217502634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993730659043434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776521244516673,0.0,0.10593218479109713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625638518144564,0.0,0.0,0.3558511983261312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292736129169396,0.0972843844030646,0.0,0.12164750510503175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330708295045023,0.1351060033957716,0.0,0.07456048655098814,0.0,0.0,0.1357039920441626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049996728039737,0.0,0.0960113713790095,0.06863370485472133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462399546750574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471339387820268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722428906659689,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jujuninja_19,2019/04/01,"I’m concerned for my mental health So, my mind is kinda all over the place and it’s starting to become a concern. Not all over the place as in “I think about a lot of stuff” or “I carry a lot of stress”, but more so my mindset, mood, and sometimes even behavior and personality fluctuate fairly often.

There are sometimes where I feel like I’m the happiest person in the world and others when I feel like all is hopeless and I might as well cut the cord. I might feel calm in relaxed one second but heated up and aggressive the next. And these happen with zero correlation to my surrounding environment. I have also had a very antisocial personality for a fairly long time. I tend to maintain a very neutral external behavior, so I don’t think my family and friends have caught on.

There have often been times where I think of suicide and self harm for various reasons. The part that scares me is most of these reasons aren’t based on negative events in my life, but most of the times just sheer curiosity, and this is a frequent thought.

I am yet to go as far as to actually start harming myself but I don’t want to go there. What should I do, I’m starting to become genuinely worried.",4.456848377281947,5.829352590517246,5.550456389452332,79.57547667342801,70.50862068965517,8.562271805273834,29.164300202839755,9.007467420416297,2.383598580121704,939,36,180,18,17,311,127,232,0.14800000000000002,0.742,0.11,-0.8885,1,0,0,0,0,2,19.0,0,0,0,0,17,14,2,2,15,0,18,2,0,2,3,42,37,24,1,2,7,0,3,2,1,3,2,0,0,4,8,11,0,0,9,1,0,3,5,7,1,3,4,3,21,6,30,30,10,31,0,1,0,0,5,16,0,10,14,138,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.11464747276419235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395194188430712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259503777066629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759709837161084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107534942027764,0.0,0.17821037721112695,0.16786123890942165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076787549765827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353777121204466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389074585711204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248800374516248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298244969693043,0.11479353218872328,0.0,0.0,0.10396967567291117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19976145385198124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839627668152385,0.2492639946612169,0.1186253863615256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494560609867042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961022393216889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722376325557608,0.0,0.0,0.3077475884209972,0.2454916267711571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24158631379831855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762201621937553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256147283072763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23238943315870464,0.0,0.2494674180707848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457756736217702,0.0,0.13449111447126938,0.12850846796679224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22583708119501605,0.0,0.09326920222536933,0.20551766014031736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938732687761129,0.06929512888568568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563225846254866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931074230972175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kudlius28,2019/04/01,"I think Ive gone insane I havent been to school(year 11) for 2 months, because Im scared of it, scared of the teachers, the kids, myself and that Im not capable of anything. My father has been telling me Im worthless for the past year. On Friday he got a call from a teacher saying if I dont come on monday Ill get expelled. So today I woke up, was scared shitless, 40 minutes left to school, father comes in, tells me to put all my books on the table so he can give them back at school. Then something snapped. I came into his room, started shouting and hitting my face because I couldnt control the anger anymore(Ive done this in the past), he just left for a smoke outside. Then I snapped again and was crying for 20 minutes on the floor. Then snapped again and started beating myself up. The more nervous I get the faster I start to play with my hands. I just dont know how to explain it, the past hour has been a complete mirage and I think Im going insane.",3.1159560067681897,4.39127088324873,3.668040609137056,92.15644331641286,73.67005076142131,5.456379018612522,27.346531302876482,4.604124745555138,0.6233298815566837,752,28,159,1,15,236,113,197,0.166,0.807,0.028,-0.9752,0,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,2,8,7,1,4,14,0,14,3,2,2,1,22,32,12,0,2,4,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,4,10,0,1,4,2,0,6,5,6,0,0,10,3,22,1,24,20,2,38,0,1,0,0,14,14,0,1,18,97,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827949638663657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248907907443201,0.0,0.1307896321168205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954139681902804,0.12269584484038995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18481857379781508,0.11247746789192024,0.0,0.12031982219782875,0.0,0.0,0.11783830129878185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978120140290444,0.2514547386631636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209518547890547,0.10290948421051717,0.06096776061748203,0.0,0.08579889220566556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564583596484917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4635085215387083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058956410592411364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331126667548741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562715393273354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072229430061377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784260706526516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531065339604442,0.3222077557437171,0.3257089213616424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825867631988749,0.0,0.0,0.2277927763621245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752894330251227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374770197213605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168566768451053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816521879904894
mentalhealth,123happily,2019/04/01,"I’m scared to label myself as misophonic, but feel I am. Please help me judge the severity of my symptoms since I know nobody with this disorder. Hi guys! I’m new here so if this doesn’t quite fit the guidelines or themes I’m happy to move to another sub :).

I have self diagnosed myself with mild-medium misophonia. Misophonia is a disorder that links the threat assessment part of the brain to the auditory processing part, causing fight/flight reactions and/or feelings of fear, violence, rage, panic and similar when a trigger sound is heard.

I’ve heard from a misophonic person here on reddit that they often have to run from the room, plug their ears desperately in order to focus and keep some sanity, and have trouble focusing whenever a trigger sound is heard.

So these are my symptoms: When I was younger I’d block my ears to concentrate when I heard a ‘bad sound’ (what I used to call trigger sounds) and would flinch away from bad sounds  and generally ask (if possible) for it to be stopped. ‘Bad sounds’ for me are any patternless, sharp, ‘pop’ or ‘crackles’. Other sounds include particular voices (I am aware that this may pertain to a different cause, regardless, reactions are the same, or even worse). Human sounds aside from speaking (scratching on skin, mouth sounds, chewing, etc) are extreme triggers for me.

I have never run from a room, or shouted, usually dealt with the feeling of ‘ew, argh, make it stop’ myself. I have left a dinner table early (I had finished but the expectation was that everybody remained until the last person finished) to escape the sounds, but only got as far as about 1 metre away before the host asked me where I was going. Not wanting to make it any more awkward, I stayed.

I recently got noise cancelling headphones and it improved this significantly, however it is considered rude to wear them in conversations/in class/when eating, so I can’t wear them often, and particularly in places where I feel they are most needed. In some situations I can’t have them around my neck, which comforts me in knowing they are close by. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost them.

I haven’t told anyone about it because I’m worried that my symptoms aren’t severe enough to warrant actually having this disorder. My parents may not find it severe enough to warrant a visit to a GP or likewise. Thankyou for reading this, and if I’m in the wrong place let me know! I’m happy to hear it :).

Thankyou!",5.702101769911504,7.158930659292039,6.026272123893802,77.01538163716816,67.6283185840708,9.10132743362832,31.602876106194692,9.435801123606538,2.977894690265487,1926,79,338,39,32,617,233,452,0.168,0.7659999999999999,0.066,-0.9946,4,0,0,0,1,0,68.0,0,0,8,2,16,17,4,4,23,0,35,15,8,9,1,65,67,30,0,9,14,1,7,0,0,3,4,20,2,5,24,13,3,4,10,1,0,5,9,14,0,0,12,27,42,3,51,50,10,42,0,1,0,0,27,21,0,16,14,221,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.08396395789179187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170221535604835,0.09022187035159784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060162121011774775,0.0,0.0,0.07659505418638113,0.1608741178543241,0.0,0.16167738419127695,0.0,0.21552283046147988,0.05245001579025888,0.0,0.07321486198669569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605061580248307,0.0878578508075202,0.0,0.0,0.17677636032747993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733017147687024,0.0,0.08989491052889031,0.29583256606678365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804179378054004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17780745491763544,0.09595886286028184,0.056829508257892423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682045339793684,0.17402039192859103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864024628038034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04889928896240698,0.0,0.13763027475922154,0.0,0.0,0.08519447598200329,0.0,0.18318525998972104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697486849548204,0.0,0.05767171140879347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647751608542733,0.0,0.0,0.18914432995710054,0.0701351939808902,0.0,0.0,0.09348419178426644,0.08798312233045988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392431077857598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486655478166985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144835133717023,0.0,0.06379857984538916,0.0663604028106072,0.0830992837707248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543833312560889,0.0,0.10095099989494344,0.09553875041472734,0.18634882118679974,0.0,0.0,0.15025599740652154,0.17978982105778066,0.09444757795979992,0.0,0.09699870792862153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915155797406481,0.08606464621487564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084955465065529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614241359950732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975990569876127,0.29160674575889084,0.0,0.07117430393900133,0.09671409610490836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170864393801292,0.0,0.14386886295325071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26828975992593074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221620880396985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431211138451832,0.0947624046315522,0.0,0.050749424680569324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737917986152723,0.08768349880133626,0.06112131505981934,0.09407272256671848,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,losingmymindslowly2,2019/04/01,"Panic Attacks, Hallucinations, and Vertigo? What is happening to me? I think something very wrong is happening in my brain and I'm not sure what.

​

I've been having daily panic attacks for the past year. I've begun to have auditory hallucinations. I also am experiencing vertigo. I can no longer function in society. I cannot leave my house. I cannot hold a job anymore. I do not have insurance or money so I can't see a doctor. 

​

I thought it was just anxiety because of my financial situation, but I'm beginning to think it's something worse. I read that vertigo cannot be caused by anxiety itself. Also, hallucinations are not caused by anxiety. I don't think I'm schizophrenic just yet as I'm very aware that the hallucinations are not real. This is just so scary because I don't know what is happening. I'm also going to be homeless in a month and fear this will exacerbate my affliction. I'm in Austin, TX. Can I just walk into the hospital and tell them I have no money or insurance and be treated?",2.7427705627705627,5.352656797979801,5.250779220779221,74.21045454545455,79.50505050505049,8.821933621933624,28.62049062049062,9.362217197678863,3.2226187590187587,818,38,146,25,21,288,99,198,0.189,0.7829999999999999,0.028,-0.9798,1,0,2,1,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,0,10,8,2,3,6,0,26,6,1,2,1,27,43,14,0,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,5,1,2,2,12,6,0,0,3,2,19,2,14,36,0,13,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,2,6,99,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698714352897389,0.0,0.243762843973967,0.27337208197035506,0.0,0.0,0.2581605634574109,0.0,0.11155852949209903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559441926160451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714409271786707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255745528457061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311136916338317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513691561183975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265810223098032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392990086137988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984200659982675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979681687914935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162764314507227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06182082868293691,0.0,0.0,0.11910925460034776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897873795350145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639624236705149,0.0,0.0,0.1073831595026739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251910645197036,0.12803672815268474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963890238436864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644197302414953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319854068093807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601923591113982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832005171706494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21623458412669,0.0,0.08930343523885377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562985947770005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463556024010582,0.0,0.12298869687193037,0.27337208197035506,0.07243901244571298
mentalhealth,DietChugg,2019/04/01,"How to handle someone who is malicious towards themselves? If you encounter someone who is malicious towards themselves ( They activity seek out being tortured, hurting themselves, give themselves negative self talk, they are contemplating suicide ) what is the right thing to do? Should you take any action at all?

​

 Here's my thoughts on it so far:

1. Find them help. A psychologist, therapist, or good support network are helpful ideas. ( Suicide Hotline for example.   
 Depression hotline if that's a thing?)
2. They may not change. Accept this as a reality.
3. Remember you are not responsible for the other person’s decisions.

​",5.032594339622642,8.633213839622641,5.139033018867924,70.01817216981132,85.13207547169809,7.55566037735849,38.70047169811321,8.278499904357787,4.699115094339621,521,34,67,13,16,163,79,106,0.219,0.693,0.087,-0.9565,0,0,0,0,0,2,31.0,0,3,4,0,3,6,1,0,5,0,10,0,0,1,1,16,14,6,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,9,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,8,3,10,10,1,8,0,2,0,0,15,7,0,4,0,52,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294258114732204,0.3694403070995741,0.10337837317778732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608163186947702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309340462006682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894293481044825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583081579383814,0.0,0.12750662099925306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20379073611009602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273986179638472,0.17161134596336208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273743560071816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220829283380953,0.1298236970584273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858933963189326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25761100937963843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325689974386529,0.17250976056066405,0.0,0.0,0.11429963460431225,0.12218739775400532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650618601736096,0.2019898067875678,0.0,0.0,0.12068638575634368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3694403070995741,0.0
mentalhealth,BaytheDuchie,2019/04/01,"Needing someone to talk too. Back here....*sigh*
Goddamn it, welp, I need someone to talk to, don’t really care who, a real person at least, who can;
-help me in crisises 
-make me feel like worthless scum
-keep me from eating to much
-give me advice
-answer questions
Yep, seems like Google would be best.
",0.34599190283400816,1.8990213859649143,1.0252631578947378,95.52145748987854,115.84210526315788,3.1573549257759788,18.41970310391363,5.369823440869387,-0.16680458839406231,237,8,44,2,13,72,47,57,0.087,0.6559999999999999,0.256,0.8908,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,1,0,10,12,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,4,7,10,3,3,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,2,3,25,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068756756475588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278807709578788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222171336155968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215847356720367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166270670322894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704440893511324,0.15124209417575624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030867266009029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419013988329364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18817313110177336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068567385639631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131473129956204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562753396097742,0.3139531497320933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848526400048229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371580507694884,0.0,0.0,0.2409666379239077,0.13562364390433854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927282807571016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35875391868634016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403209192332032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038915776261402,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chubbybunny789,2019/04/01,"Anyone else over the whole ‘crazy ex girlfriend’ trope? As someone who suffered a full on breakdown in the midst of a breakup, it really angers me to read people writing this. 

Firstly let’s not use the C word when describing someone’s mental state, it’s 2019. 

Secondly you’re not so great you’ve caused this behaviour. You merely triggered it. Stop taking credit for chemical imbalances.",3.5193174603174597,6.6864509000000005,3.6261904761904766,82.91769841269844,82.85714285714286,6.5396825396825395,27.777777777777786,7.793537801064563,2.342301587301588,313,14,50,6,9,96,58,70,0.181,0.784,0.036000000000000004,-0.8893,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,1,0,5,0,1,0,0,3,0,8,3,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,2,2,7,2,2,8,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,29,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868924661106098,0.26184519660637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26252427702291703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21348251276396216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21737403845221134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28174910501167266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613212030979043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575382499457114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716891467858809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25562308198831163,0.0,0.16371438848623274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43306002348824224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21365452463747814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19214474787253924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22071654014289055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28531683142677994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Seatownace,2019/04/01,"I ran into my rapist and no one cares I tried to talk to my best friend since he is the only one that I told. He doesn’t care. He told me to get over it. That he didn’t have time for me. 

I was on a date, moving on.  Getting over it when I ran into him at a coffee shop. My date was confused and since it was the first time meeting them I didn’t explain what was going on. I excused myself and went home. I’ve kept myself busy all afternoon and evening. Knowing my best friend was going to call me later to talk. 

Except he didn’t.  He sent my call to voice mail and then texted me to say he would call me tomorrow. I texted him what happened. He didn’t care. He doesn’t have time for me. 

I don’t care if you are with a new girl friend, doesn’t a good friend excuse themselves to check on their supposed best friend? 

I hate existing ",0.4087585350713852,2.2797180726256983,1.8682216014897577,99.38049503414032,83.35754189944134,4.6481688392302924,17.207014276846678,5.46131890053228,-0.7775961514587211,641,13,155,3,18,206,88,179,0.067,0.7020000000000001,0.231,0.9853,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,2,4,2,16,2,1,6,0,18,1,0,0,1,16,37,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,1,1,7,8,0,1,2,1,2,7,9,3,0,3,16,2,28,13,21,20,4,28,0,0,0,1,34,9,0,2,12,97,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35847810383648177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488020425419159,0.0,0.4643656407648328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520575708304207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968522210310492,0.0,0.0,0.43985322511222336,0.0,0.11897794133710672,0.0,0.12942248349402294,0.0955032878746982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068910255753204,0.0,0.0,0.11241661688098216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421435796847865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257639283027294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101886338868295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997006204374432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431368667155454,0.08659831020586488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905488123492592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18837810062689603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18303831018201616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918413895799195,0.0,0.0,0.2176028762923992,0.0,0.0773058312074127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555259009902317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088535188664903,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CompetitionEater,2019/04/02,"Am I disassociating? Sorry if this is the wrong sub, I wasn't sure where to ask?

Is it normal to not look like you when you wake up? Like, sometimes it takes a few hours for my face in the mirror to definatly be mine. I know it's me. But it feels off somehow.

I was just wondering if that combined with headaches every day was an actual issue, or a normal thing. I hope everyone is having a nice day. 💕",0.6188095238095244,2.7285804047619067,3.2214285714285715,88.59023809523813,84.23809523809524,6.114285714285715,18.857142857142858,7.3871296695380915,0.38648571428571454,310,8,69,5,9,108,63,84,0.108,0.7929999999999999,0.099,0.3111,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,6,0,9,2,2,0,1,15,16,5,0,5,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,10,5,8,12,1,8,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,6,6,50,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.2144152165445392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20540872347037525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834026991974505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512374181561156,0.20995206344242087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110971330895956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2182317317726796,0.2163801340672621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22933079981142304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075247369290605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146883788078154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450962692508088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43055828266822666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21730889234633444,0.24595877097186405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20708368470698613,0.0,0.1652022430825963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597233524256384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382771802236132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240229542371884,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rainybandz,2019/04/02,How do I stop the intrusive thoughts? I find myself thinking things I don’t want to think about. Mostly death and negative thoughts about myself. I just want it to stop so I can focus more and feel better.,1.763249999999999,4.461178825000005,2.2800000000000007,92.965,85.75,5.2,20.5,6.742157984588678,0.4353500000000001,163,5,32,2,5,50,28,40,0.268,0.603,0.129,-0.804,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,15,10,4,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,7,1,4,8,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,25,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708131942629673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482630850412385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798655696958245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5120017191750238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20342881207480168,0.3924072453238405,0.0,0.4861846937421863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3612149585423241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CatLakeNation,2019/04/02,"The nicest thing anyone has ever called me is normal. For 16 years I lived under the influence and control of my emotionally controlling and manipulative mother. It still hurts to say that about her because she was always there by my side when I was struggling, but she would use it against me every time I told her something she did was the problem. 

Anyway, she had the need to victimise herself, and instilled that into her children. Luckily I realise now what she did and the fact she victimised herself the most is what made me finally get the hell out of that situation. She always told me that I was depressed and had anxiety and that I needed to get accommodations and medication, and that I probably had bipolar disorder, etc. Everything was always a diagnosis and every feeling was always due to a mental illness. Keep in mind the doctors have always been hesitant to diagnose me with any specific mental disorder besides anxiety. 

One day I was talking to my stepmom about my mom and she told me that she just sees me as a normal teen with normal feelings who’s just learning how to manage the world. That changed me. I no longer was this “mental mess” that I had been convinced I was. I stopped trying to search if my emotions fit into a mental disorder. And mostly I realised that, yes I struggled a lot, but it wasn’t because I just had a mental illness, but it was a normal reaction to the pain of the manipulation and control I didn’t consciously realise was happening. 

A friend of mine asked if I thought maybe I had PTSD, and who knows, maybe I do. But I didn’t care about a diagnosis, I cared about addressing my emotions and not influencing my own thoughts and actions by looking into a disorder and trying to mold myself into it. It’s not erasure of the mental health problems, it’s just that i’m no longer defined by something I might have, and instead my feelings are a normal response to shitty stuff, not an uncontrollable force.

I’ve been called smart, kind, strong and all those fun things, but the nicest thing anyone ever called me is normal. Because I’m just a normal teen, living a tough life, and reacting appropriately.",8.760522388059702,7.870136967661697,8.657457711442792,68.79320149253735,61.164179104477604,11.12457711442786,39.254228855721394,10.241411754978122,4.095098109452737,1719,77,291,31,20,559,186,402,0.184,0.695,0.121,-0.9775,0,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,4,18,19,1,3,27,1,35,9,0,11,4,83,59,29,0,14,15,2,3,0,1,2,9,1,1,1,28,26,0,5,8,0,0,1,8,11,0,1,31,6,55,8,35,26,6,22,1,2,2,0,29,10,1,6,11,232,83,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654111516587719,0.0,0.0,0.04338252595088656,0.0,0.09760541203863246,0.0,0.0,0.08921335650192808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059639353577901816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166658159287381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19542430437377176,0.0,0.13008572378219796,0.0,0.06748624402420915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21465325656046552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04114224921125651,0.0,0.054946208598062665,0.06475019156834329,0.0,0.0,0.2924566237309657,0.06529649187300147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21528106676004505,0.0,0.0,0.07114785930002743,0.0,0.11541176352957963,0.10749942950108236,0.0,0.057334486646931374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096769422786134,0.0,0.0,0.0698838827023986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049287561459039696,0.0,0.06666010683934967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056413367542021926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781069279365175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829345501001106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056703585180913285,0.0,0.06643227475753265,0.03505985214408945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04506002335115407,0.0,0.0,0.1126636279974739,0.0,0.05357140968893024,0.0,0.0,0.054235900531409136,0.0,0.06036400739751225,0.0,0.0,0.1281805311077099,0.0,0.0,0.06426636328648305,0.3857398048462172,0.06767600535449034,0.06441437555786862,0.07471548230540674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460579767374663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375362461602946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04322888228144016,0.0,0.06788196843435781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687813850549009,0.12208566220300204,0.07457249129908762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050732038540452926,0.0,0.0,0.05083604880278565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170782038153407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822442301750904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05094646211065389,0.053335154846283386,0.0,0.13338396621928014,0.07302957168330383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127569520578803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714692297932784,0.0,0.0,0.10129159709234553,0.03719915314952756,0.0,0.0,0.1828754660635213,0.0,0.08662471227317638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509806481108343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04531786428566168,0.0,0.0,0.041081640604269866
mentalhealth,7cire,2019/04/02,"What's Wrong With Me? So I'm a college student and I feel very alone. I was alone through high school. Many acquaintances at school that I talked to, but no really true close friends. I always told myself that I'd find a great group in college to hang out with. I moved in and I found that the dorm floor I was staying on was basically half of a floor and had people living on it that I had pretty much nothing in common with. I sort of found a group that I was happy with for the first month, but then I got bullied for my personal beliefs so I retreated back into my room, where I spent most of my time. I have tried a bunch of different groups and none seem willing to take me in and no one ever invites me to do things with them. It's gotten to the point where it's affected my school work a bit and I'm so stressed and worn out. I'm not particularly close to my roommate and I had to go to great lengths to find people to live with next year. Probably my fourth choice for living next year. I always told myself that college would make things better but it would seem that my fears were true and I have no place. I've tried hanging with dorm people, people to play soccer with, and people within my business school and no one seems to care about me enough to invite me to things. Nobody will tell me what's wrong with me that they won't consider hanging out or even just spending time with me.",4.643720480061943,4.941023919860626,4.8952322880371675,88.36497773906315,69.38327526132404,7.771506000774294,25.70054200542005,7.3871296695380915,0.9959982191250484,1103,28,240,10,18,347,139,287,0.124,0.728,0.14800000000000002,0.9233,1,2,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,3,10,13,0,2,9,0,16,0,0,2,3,51,35,19,0,2,6,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,3,1,17,27,0,0,9,2,2,5,7,4,0,4,16,1,37,9,45,14,6,40,1,0,0,0,11,22,0,6,12,163,54,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19120275086312907,0.0,0.0,0.15361229024513218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097776289521171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163732445435364,0.10077445310521553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411231326137956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964403228668467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537696995025158,0.0,0.060967368369468575,0.08349623407968815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387012713929644,0.046672783487600664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873237198830862,0.07851559861941247,0.0,0.20241794729171655,0.07131553392728897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05245973534817842,0.0,0.07382569300053117,0.2035358021407744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826165638252862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752655839215853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445241724375785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161509903381246,0.09358398929812886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367792073112321,0.09810687253271357,0.06785567102035989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19633736191226156,0.0,0.0,0.08857027944848267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509812738627193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199674508462315,0.08059820526718255,0.0964403228668467,0.0,0.08725918616973569,0.0,0.0,0.09390858057417174,0.09952168567976633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059133709370880236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3736751717545828,0.0,0.2520962675920687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838611751240628,0.0,0.0,0.10573642952915603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940276772796472,0.07419221955487981,0.08067967919550305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397239447559646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764896415929276,0.0,0.0,0.17640504173803562,0.0,0.12533968863915715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616227437951875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720000616075439,0.0,0.0,0.13114333889949978,0.20184465803282484,0.0,0.11888432081336668
mentalhealth,Throwaway12311133,2019/04/02,"I feel emotionally dead and empty. This is my first time reaching out, I'm a 24 year old man and I feel like I'm in a slump. I remember feeling emotions, I remember feeling them strongly, but the last two or three years I have shut myself off from the world and by doing so I basically have no interaction with any of my old friends, the only interaction I have with other people is online, with my family or at work. 

​

I work for nights for a man who is paralyzed from the neck and down and his life is pure misery, he has intense pain, deals with problems that make my own problems seem insignificant, yet he seems to be faring better than I am mentally. 

​

I spend my days playing video games and smoking weed. The thing about video games for me is that I am very good at it, I know I could go pro if I really wanted it - but I don't want to. The only real escape I have from ""reality"" is smoking weed, because when I do smoke then I feel incredibly at ease and I can somewhat enjoy my lifestyle.  


My family knows about what I do with the weed and video gaming, my brother and sister knows a bit about my depression, but sadly they have their own mental health issues, so I know that they feel like they can't really help me.  


The only times I really feel any emotions right now is if I have a long sequence of pop-off gaming or if I watch anime and there's a really really happy or really really sad moment and even then, the emotions feel very... numbed down.  


I'm not sure how to proceed because, frankly, I stopped caring about living a regular life a long time ago. I've stopped caring about finding a relationship. I've stopped eating healthy and the only real exercise I get nowadays is the 25 minute walk to work.  


Then again everything is not all bad, I have a good connection with all of my family members and we all love each other. My brother, my sister and I are moving in together on a farm that we'll take care of and that's been the one thing that I've looked forward to. Maybe if I live closely with other people I can start feeling again.  


Also suicide is something I'm not interested of. I had a phase in my teens when I was close to committing suicide, but during that phase I got to realize that if I take my life I'm not just ending my own. I'm ruining my family's life. This post was made to air out some of my problems and to see if any of you have any actual tips, so that I maybe can find some kind of motivation to actually do something in real life again.  


Thank you for reading. Also sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker.",5.467242953185718,5.492673762906311,6.5349929069265436,78.25896009375195,67.585086042065,9.50173317708012,30.25528896564485,9.285337120503966,2.487737852340715,2050,70,404,36,31,689,237,523,0.146,0.7120000000000001,0.142,-0.6031,0,0,3,0,0,2,57.0,2,2,5,7,21,29,0,0,25,0,38,12,1,4,6,96,77,42,3,13,20,4,9,2,1,1,9,1,0,2,20,30,1,3,21,10,1,4,8,11,0,4,6,13,65,18,53,68,11,55,0,4,3,1,30,20,0,15,34,270,85,5,0.0,0.0,0.11895040052354244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402558379915647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747812880349314,0.0,0.13207147623954346,0.14811385459696275,0.20722927410839356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050887959645731784,0.07430510116921638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390241490520696,0.0665380255836271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18641770750118547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486609910863586,0.0,0.0,0.03930558791752917,0.06283338498704677,0.052493314638596814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236370280747655,0.0,0.2742273958842057,0.05398069781404397,0.0,0.0,0.0402547291633396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05477497581709239,0.0,0.22982054775684085,0.0,0.27734840422931584,0.08708068795254796,0.0,0.0,0.11140838315859948,0.051841242980478014,0.0,0.0,0.04708727931284002,0.0,0.03184214208260987,0.0,0.0346374215403879,0.1022384226079763,0.048744654009381216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487890933472988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647835059688522,0.0,0.0,0.04085129705173629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361253396464657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346662290230941,0.13397887837868114,0.0496797055801891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152423291566335,0.05955097091170052,0.0,0.10763412842657437,0.1078718463252356,0.051179889134941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05500678804064424,0.05766925351198701,0.04068240421576995,0.0,0.12245833009516705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283990385666847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477671069765888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057194361548109016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790664599779786,0.0,0.041299070071861364,0.18541088653575988,0.06485159974145477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845055538355788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837010386848315,0.0,0.0,0.17495332004880845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096320608998605,0.20811210713244035,0.27330817503980426,0.0,0.0,0.06543396113849059,0.13808149005410705,0.0520481599322875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856663949843083,0.11096719711337136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383951457634387,0.0,0.06822485547172935,0.04313839718346582,0.0,0.0,0.15286254335351634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13333162403638305,0.0,0.057441555769131215,0.0,0.09164868659394093,0.0,0.0,0.05611154492166257,0.0,0.0,0.08098057601640865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661555548910157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05953608274009605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005748422346808,0.07189590085632684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310979890337193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811385459696275,0.07849536996755509
mentalhealth,The21Numbers,2019/04/02,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like an idiot, I can’t handle people yelling. When they do, I used to try to leave the room, but my dad would yell at me and I would just go back to my desk and put my head down with my arms over my head. Now I do that and he yells at me for it. When I tense up with my arms at my side, my legs together, and my body tense, he yells. I just feel overwhelmed so often. 

I feel so stupid. 

I feel like an idiot when I do this because even though it feels better for a little while, he always yells at me. I don’t know if it’s bad or not but I beat myself to try to teach myself not to do that. 

I can’t stand to be in a room with him. Ever time I’m near him I am constantly on edge, praying for him to have to leave or for some reason for me to leave. This is the reason I do so much extra curricular stuff, I want out of the house as much as possible. But all that ends up stressing me out more and the vicious cycle continues.

I feel like I’m just some incompetent idiot and that’s all that’s wrong with me. I just want to talk to someone.",0.6378925619834703,1.7503190289256203,2.6843719008264486,97.36837603305788,79.78512396694215,5.831735537190082,17.47190082644628,6.2581,-0.5670452892561979,823,13,214,6,20,278,111,242,0.191,0.733,0.076,-0.9854,0,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,0,0,1,2,16,14,5,2,8,0,15,6,6,3,3,46,29,22,0,5,12,1,6,3,0,2,0,5,2,0,12,13,0,0,10,0,0,2,6,10,0,0,0,11,41,4,38,26,8,31,1,1,0,0,9,17,0,6,14,153,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171807070303786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939992639000106,0.10206990819773996,0.07451973814400936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811623376753772,0.0,0.1357872213533362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13210398532899126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827325183967254,0.0,0.0,0.08074201714573133,0.11057807715778464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708660667546905,0.26199668508004675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947494970218064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509183554813517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410549242636103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436588843167696,0.0,0.0,0.38832108423098105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916896775856614,0.12252213232818665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972905504987133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474965573629714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781346308937772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289051829571306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25137752184319123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035782376676062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400318372647178,0.0,0.13994188054022105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825632340036958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120105608840338,0.0,0.07128234941351458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16599337579759246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055808849218924,0.0,0.0,0.14420715727820702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367942886763246,0.2673125850028004,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yarrylarry44,2019/04/02,"I naturally dont speak, but I have thoughts that might be internal thoughts or things too say that I supress? It is very unnatural for me to speak. I dont think in such a way as to speak, I think. That being said I do think things in my head like ""you're wierd"" or ""I'm doing good, you?"" when talking to my brother, stuff that would be a sensical response. That being said I've always felt like that was just my internal thought process. It feels unnatural to say those things aloud. I'm starting to think that when I have thoughts that would be a response, well that's what a normal person would say. Most people dont seem to have to consciously make sentences to respond, it's natural to them. These thoughts come natural to me and the responses I usually put out feel fake in some way. Are those thoughts actually my brain trying to communicate? The one time in my life where I was able to just naturally think and speak for like an hour (albeit I wasnt thinking about how I was thinking, so) is literally my best memory, even though it was me at a friends house speaking to my half asleep friend. So, in wondering if that's the way a normal person communicates and also If there's ways to feel like that more.  Just thinking about how natural I felt and how easily I was able to talk just for that hour or so makes me emotional because it was amazing.",5.749850746268656,5.908315738805975,6.088768656716423,81.24270522388062,66.98507462686567,9.834328358208957,32.048507462686565,9.673873057562805,2.7295179104477603,1070,41,221,21,16,344,126,268,0.015,0.785,0.2,0.9945,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,1,1,22,11,0,0,10,0,27,4,3,5,0,51,56,21,0,7,10,1,5,4,2,4,1,10,0,2,25,6,0,0,22,0,0,2,4,1,1,2,17,15,26,10,28,30,4,21,0,0,0,0,20,8,0,10,11,152,51,0,0.1669748243170731,0.0,0.08147167106274225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06676485334001046,0.06946821495304707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05089315154970018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761488829637615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319956291387173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191701309389928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29353987580401203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391210157988736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055142648342176616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664123231024135,0.059643423927632236,0.16032201649351493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900433506841033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700252802851396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568217099364937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443656743529775,0.09633326439642753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058969628223679724,0.1631509298743304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145699181240623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856695089386457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359987571870094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056573231149833675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787965954519424,0.14579597607445668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392790859729701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883129477556232,0.19917762326347832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760038044612196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909282003316432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955731127331672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342080388921323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639598074428805,0.4279629010979075,0.08202595855701783,0.397678077716668,0.04868218141762642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056682472597981974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919495894798813,0.06888585853991615,0.0,0.26507368700912715,0.0,0.0,0.07506520996565083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905385371513661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779211866796468,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hutatl,2019/04/02,"So much time wasted in my head not wanting to live For the most part I don’t feel like this anymore. I can’t tell if it’s being on meds for almost two years.  Or the fact that my life,work and relationship is in a better place now. I’m glad I just waited until things got different. For what it’s worth things change if you can just wait it out. ",0.2134999999999998,2.210683066666668,1.9115833333333363,98.055375,85.0,4.816666666666666,14.708333333333332,5.985473137389443,-0.9337666666666666,270,4,65,2,8,88,60,75,0.047,0.813,0.14,0.7037,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,5,1,1,0,1,15,11,6,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,6,3,9,9,3,9,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,5,5,44,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22815431770710415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22596147412757103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015107952291867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410302872731396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23805001306631401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520551143741578,0.16277284338078418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822288298191463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23383517714537966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093398780597376,0.1113137836791773,0.0,0.2011917170240198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530849438920068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749263060143807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24673443166814998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23805001306631401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446207571071033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914697624138605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027408011288888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285852101550874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22257190886318687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438915659674527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165874209760897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672500714289205
mentalhealth,nealm07,2019/04/02,"Feel like I’m just existing Recently I was taken to the hospital after a suicide attempt. After days in the hospital and days in an inpatient facility I feel like I should be better than I am. I felt good while I was there. No distractions, no connection to the outside world besides phone calls from this I approved, so stress from school and life. But since I have been out I just feel anxious all the time and can’t even bring myself to eat because of it. I find myself dreading going back to the place where it all happened, as I have been staying with my parents since I was discharged. I don’t feel human anymore, just a void that is merely existing. And it’s not like I’m still suicidal, after I took all those pills I became terrified of the thought of dying and called for help, but I don’t feel like I’m even living anymore. Just needed to vent, as I’m too scared to tell my family as I can tell this has all taken a toll on them.",6.417486910994768,5.4922674240837726,6.995125654450263,78.93017539267018,65.8586387434555,10.153089005235604,32.71256544502618,9.3871,2.731713717277488,742,26,150,12,10,245,109,191,0.123,0.7879999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.7338,1,0,0,0,0,2,16.0,0,0,1,3,12,10,0,4,10,0,16,3,0,0,4,28,34,12,3,2,7,1,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,7,7,1,0,8,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,10,6,22,6,24,22,4,21,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,14,106,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659222021091012,0.2573747280468513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977767197312762,0.0,0.07910068312838664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147624530262534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649995776877314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167369335677722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346707196003925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327771960972919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17141092742566713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232647583042,0.0,0.32805356853623713,0.2781023831183509,0.1245902507410372,0.0,0.11859857634814926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374577687233291,0.10883679509220566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474661728348196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697560336037062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165354736903762,0.2535773402338466,0.0,0.11458073473423575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621562877257417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408347279164976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135571910236127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281226558452474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991271135736335,0.13132436551598528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146781455805787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830722974962506,0.10362675451707468,0.0,0.14864000147124368,0.0,0.0,0.2838734455088648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268324680097558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030151950859008,0.07566428269928953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416848354774847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TurtleBrother-5,2019/04/02,"I'm so tired and unfocused Hello, I'm 17. I eat healthy, have a consistent bedtime, have a social life, and I work out. I am not obese or even slightly overweight or underweight. Starting from last summer, I have been trying to accomplish many goals that I believe can help propel me towards the future that I want, and I had made tremendous progress during the summer. Then, I still suffered from the sleepiness issue, and I stayed away from my friends and family as much as possible to get my work done. I also wasted a lot of time just sitting around in an attempt to do my work. During this time, I was incredibly stressed out. This was not the way that I wanted to live, so I decided to make a change and hang out more. However, this had side effects. Due to my increased sociability I no longer had time to slowly trudge through my work with my tiredness and poor focus. This only worsened when school started and seven hours were suddenly cut from my day. Every day I tried to make the big change of waking up energized and giving everything my fullest, but with my busier schedule and sleepiness, I just couldn't get anything done. This is gone on from midway through August until now. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong and why I am so tired. My lack of progress makes me feel like a failure, and it feels like a pain to see my girlfriend and friends knowing that I have failed to achieve my goals. I do believe that an energy boost and motivation boost can help improve this and set my life back on track though. If anyone here has any ideas, I will take them all into full consideration. Thank you to anyone who has made it this far, and I really appreciate you just reading this. ",6.523517920568287,6.661533027607362,6.340229254116888,80.16636260897644,65.34969325153375,9.071746851792057,32.49531804972554,8.6894789155246,2.4836159509202447,1341,50,256,18,19,421,184,326,0.123,0.711,0.166,0.9257,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,1,14,16,12,1,1,13,0,26,9,1,7,1,53,49,30,0,5,10,0,2,2,3,1,7,0,0,0,17,23,3,0,9,1,1,3,5,6,0,1,12,3,40,6,37,35,7,44,0,2,1,0,12,15,0,4,24,179,57,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399980368765522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143025233293791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689169029980936,0.0,0.08643830488572865,0.09350715025357036,0.0,0.0,0.09868777832176263,0.08076865476838037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23668639873284164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222350743296436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548317799805806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21498312396404406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748131621655788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937739549836502,0.0,0.08850004934708353,0.0,0.09440245257286764,0.0,0.09902160172709548,0.0,0.10622194284017628,0.1500800391387461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230603796008078,0.0,0.10975728470642553,0.10076316399521623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408111121890542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344244533342913,0.0,0.0,0.11857646206403995,0.0,0.10963362614143922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545358554008432,0.08562096066511386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483845750127528,0.10263368670271096,0.0,0.09275153071670496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930056458327333,0.0,0.198781245938194,0.21034342839441453,0.10649325387484557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721589189576969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988703856818306,0.11176910582874014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841590626221515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506761684053556,0.0,0.06729079591310384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630526981922256,0.08370263634956274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707422808515928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869456109959198,0.11195780248938968,0.08388443421100747,0.0,0.12032203925178545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897639990240149,0.0,0.0,0.09670597529692834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032004725748741,0.0,0.18374759222530165,0.2414541980396469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262943248039905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390967352385535,0.08337522123405205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094781532747356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058791303999898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484386684294072,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sneakmas,2019/04/02,"The lesson I learned after being checked into the hospital bc of depression stuff a little over a year ago: be a zebra. In therapy group at the hospital they showed us this educational video from PBS where they discuss emotion, psychology, and the brain. In the video they interview this professor who wrote a book called “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers.” It brings up the idea that humans are the only living things with such complex emotions and because of this we dwell and ruminate and it takes a toll; a Zebra, however, can go from eating grass to escaping a lion attack, only to happily go back to eating grass again once safe as though nothing happened. I thought this was really interesting and it brought with it the motto: Be a zebra. When you’re attacked by life, as hard as it is to let it go, if you can be a zebra and move forward leaving the negative experience in the past then it’s not as terrible. I don’t know if that makes sense to you but it really helped me. It’s also important to remember that as painful and difficult as it can be to simply be human, it can also be so beautiful and incredible. A zebra can’t truly appreciate the taste of chocolate, fuzzy socks, a rainbow, or the feeling of the sun on it’s face after weeks of bitter winter, among so many other things.",7.535477293790546,6.858684493975903,8.32417670682731,69.49746061167751,63.49799196787149,11.516960148285445,35.218103181958604,10.891193690592663,3.8859969725054055,1025,40,182,24,13,347,149,249,0.08,0.809,0.111,0.7882,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,2,3,1,10,10,3,1,24,0,18,8,2,1,0,28,31,25,0,2,5,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,24,12,3,1,8,4,1,7,5,8,0,0,4,4,11,2,34,19,0,29,0,1,0,0,16,12,0,3,12,136,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843412719764745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136901870162081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30399343113388005,0.0,0.10273517427898013,0.0,0.08144530039716512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491490734463956,0.13642720490079918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507510823105205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734256695226043,0.0,0.30057872586780576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069282310237956,0.0,0.0,0.06755547582927883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980389734754261,0.0,0.22779500932909225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814781294673685,0.0,0.11968520758934835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955364053446392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508255093571654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342665459520037,0.0,0.0,0.14147002366284084,0.0,0.1366217287091014,0.09437024312193606,0.0,0.13390884242623413,0.11797701348559853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918339602786182,0.1354560507135127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200259682027766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819906860845412,0.0,0.0,0.14228659365541607,0.0,0.20322757271294511,0.14216676753190954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275425504660117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711835281973864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135015308214164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294751139243976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004554827756771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527907106046164,0.0,0.17752448314340746,0.0,0.1312677370454786,0.10606866056549676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16071220465748298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717109908135873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120559111862793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860382246467179
mentalhealth,Afrolatinboi23,2019/04/02,Idiot therapist suggested the rubber band trick for harm ocd pure o. Hey guys I have ocd pure o harm ocd where I get thoughts of hitting people and attacking people for no good reason I went to a guy for therapy a psychologist to see if he could help honestly I was getting bad vibes from the first meeting with him i felt like he wasn’t going to help me. The second time I went with my mom and I was talking about my treatment for ocd he gave some bullshit about medication and stuff I understand I need to take medication but it’s like I should also be doing therapy as well to overcome my illness and then what shocked me is he brought up the rubber band trick for ocd which has been widely discredited in the mental health community I was honeslty shocked and just crushed I will have to keep doing more research for effective people to give me treatment anyways thanks. ,5.927912856374391,6.836561242603548,6.111877353415814,78.60777299623454,66.75147928994082,9.222377622377623,33.11511565357719,9.339509955726095,2.9498946745562136,706,30,131,13,11,225,106,169,0.183,0.69,0.127,-0.8227,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,7,15,4,0,7,0,15,4,0,2,2,22,32,10,0,4,3,1,1,2,0,2,4,0,0,2,4,7,0,1,5,2,0,4,2,9,1,2,11,2,19,6,22,16,2,11,0,0,1,0,18,4,0,2,5,85,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11815539283690175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16808662941895816,0.0,0.0,0.12336483960891086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11796612405706415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186289560710755,0.0,0.0,0.1256758311776734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438625475151244,0.14173498868657014,0.08396956731108765,0.12392545009376225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925908919045163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705103680297974,0.0,0.0,0.1980670376131348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132673441646658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443660941845806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976845854211359,0.14889696052220264,0.0,0.0,0.1730426792276827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955454073775367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072931446131213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191131358418042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177373927698876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16913807362272112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108939718491118,0.11875562338476033,0.0,0.13602808577234235,0.3379293487528938,0.17154880566290687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729676904489472,0.08615404635525357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381266285848733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328447368364218,0.2739309300795142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Emiayu,2019/04/02,"Why are therapists so reluctant to treat eating disorders? Hi there! I'm located in the state of Indiana in the United States. I have struggled with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder for years. I had most of this treated when I was college, and got to a healthier, more stable point. Fast forward a few years, and I go to see a nutritionist on tips to eat healthier, when---surprise!, I'm still practicing many restrictive habits (and truthfully I never got over the body dysmorphia part as I constantly think about my appearance, pick at my body, and look at mirrors at my flaws). It was recommended to me that I seek a mental health professional as my nutritionist can only do so much. It's been a frustrating attempt to find one. I used to have a therapist, but we stopped sessions after a point because I was fairly stable and she didn't specialize in eating disorders or bdd. I'm running into the same problem now--the therapists who could see me and I could afford won't touch eating disorder cases and the eating disorder/bdd clinics in my area won't give me the time of day because they don't carry my insurance. I'm reluctant to drop my insurance because it allows me to pay next to nothing for medication and doctor's visits, and if I get insurance the clinics I want to visit will take, chances are that I will pay much more for my general health visits and medications. Essentially, I'm choosing between my physical health and mental health. Welcome to the messed up world of American health insurance! Is there a reason so many therapists won't help me? Does anyone have any advice on getting the help I need? I've done 'talk therapy' in the past with little results and feel that the cognitive behavioral therapy that is offered in many eating disorder treatments would be far more helpful. This is especially difficult now as the diet plan my nutritionist has set up for me really takes me out of my comfort zone and has been distressing. I've been having many more meltdowns about my appearance lately. It would be nice to have the mental side addressed otherwise, I may quit seeing the nutritionist so I can stop having to eat so much as it is setting me off. ",6.961842751842752,7.66371012776413,7.603917444717448,69.54274103194103,64.42997542997543,11.524285012285011,35.93601965601965,11.288533730351634,4.4589816019656014,1750,80,294,51,25,581,202,407,0.121,0.805,0.07400000000000001,-0.9605,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,1,0,1,3,12,13,1,2,23,0,39,22,3,5,2,49,63,27,0,8,3,0,2,0,0,8,10,0,1,0,12,19,9,3,5,0,2,8,6,6,0,1,11,6,39,7,50,40,11,53,0,0,4,0,15,25,0,6,17,203,51,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060759817418513225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04228330818269211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04347644315655985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370976081210075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20719788939125366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671925449919313,0.0,0.0992884664308341,0.0,0.0,0.0400997951271468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35630802034457554,0.06364202241797656,0.05441256183324816,0.06362988641199231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5089905712535711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03143916616688471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05682974834876028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497108638096268,0.059646995180895175,0.035337303958319445,0.0,0.0994591732565396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3304625950920731,0.0,0.0,0.1250302104034131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013971789401953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062318891201250816,0.0,0.0,0.05221402802185161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521557421905617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527599004721765,0.18798300339990687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712439395057566,0.046104347444373486,0.047955661005985986,0.0,0.06612722109842924,0.0,0.0,0.05966165985724905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04213355750582105,0.04728932295852304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733293138081166,0.05935612751189213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755699354448244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949614005258363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613416936805122,0.0,0.0,0.039832947085088125,0.06392954536664543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864392548871178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049655590840454567,0.10396751871433706,0.0,0.06500215497669011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350053645807777,0.04997648189325446,0.0,0.0,0.1422123811723053,0.2887747303466861,0.0,0.039841279915606584,0.0,0.0,0.0362566084450067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053702001061774834,0.0,0.0,0.03667431334279348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056106154301464775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833921860342436,0.0,0.0,0.08008144441785056
mentalhealth,KayKitsune,2019/04/02,"Not sure what to do anymore I'm at a loss. I am have a past history of mental health issues and was previously prescribed zoloft, welbutrin, tegetrol, seroquel, and celexa. I had zero luck with any of those. The only thing that helps my anxiety is xanax, I can take a half of one before bed and be able to get out of bed for work the next day and not feel like a panicked mess. But no doctors around here will dare prescribe that to me again. So for 10 years I've just dealt with it. And every, single, day, I feel like I can't do it anymore. I hate myself because my anxiety and depression feels like it ruins everything. It messes with work, my parenting, my social life etc. I just want to feel normal. I also wish my life could be how I wanted but that feels impossible. I am a single parent, going through a lot of custody court and been battling trying to get a restraining order. I'm not doing well financially. My house and car are falling apart. I have no real friends. I barely see my boyfriend and he's nice and all but not really there for me how I wish he could be. All I ever wanted was a family and that failed. Now I work and come home alone and exhausted trying to get dinner together and other responsibilities. I just want someone to have dinner with my son and I. Go to the park with us. I want some one to help me feel better when I'm down. I feel like I'll never get to experience getting married. I see all these other people my age and I'm almost 30 living like this while everyone else has decent jobs and houses and partners. I want my son to have a good life. I'm so worn down I can barely do the bare minimum for him. I don't have insurance for therapy. I don't know what to do anymore, I just wish I could press a button and not exist anymore. My son is the only reason I'm here. ",2.1044466225598306,3.9298955175202153,3.965974025974028,86.65251082251085,77.6522911051213,6.653303928775627,22.02409540145389,7.576466943178032,0.8725500449236301,1411,40,292,20,33,477,187,371,0.132,0.764,0.104,-0.6493,3,1,0,0,1,0,40.0,1,0,0,6,18,21,2,0,15,0,32,10,0,3,6,75,68,29,0,13,12,5,8,5,2,1,8,0,3,1,16,27,2,1,9,0,0,5,11,9,1,4,5,10,43,12,33,56,8,24,0,4,2,0,14,6,0,4,17,199,59,6,0.08039439747968442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050337612924835,0.08326435010725547,0.0,0.06429137061880784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054670947127544015,0.0,0.12300298804563208,0.0,0.3189185587232891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156805835897845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04900767850979624,0.0,0.0684097109280465,0.0,0.0,0.0711023113893673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692526548223046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925651539076,0.0,0.0,0.10369547102366812,0.0,0.06924357674618759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08228707242276237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715920311050995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896610044890724,0.0,0.07272133518649247,0.06773574725856547,0.07682029201805406,0.07225330059406572,0.07864114721052738,0.0757886830256994,0.0,0.28454876062965456,0.2297350944921869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06211251206587865,0.0,0.21001377263372825,0.0,0.09137997755464322,0.06743100631960591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937282340766927,0.0,0.08545548510939352,0.0,0.0,0.10777333997892964,0.0,0.08064213563062687,0.0,0.0,0.18552868146626436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391086384858956,0.07977903443955271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418265835970426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703548214540859,0.19638320865350792,0.0,0.07098972586820189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834844180636766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101864369543361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200511549372719,0.0,0.0855003537741985,0.0,0.07876944018327305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895464871118883,0.12228712398719227,0.0,0.0,0.17853692873138066,0.0,0.07674554921004782,0.055735352613745716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150642490539407,0.05150270964168584,0.08265883027710798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281278521871567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195196392533258,0.06811791209485593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757707681959893,0.0,0.06044658169850786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193799995923384,0.0,0.05341046539876645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916503732371437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670456146698243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845121914831955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722842183132328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27734876855141344,0.0,0.0,0.1755842365735891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177135614305799
mentalhealth,juliusroott,2019/04/02,"I have a about what is and isn't suicidal ideation. This is going to be a weird way to ask this question but I hope it makes sense.

I was walking home the other day and had to cross the parking lot ""street"" that splits two rows of parking spots. I looked left, the direction that traffic in the closest ""lane"" would be coming from (from behind me). I started cross before looking right (oncoming traffic, the direction I was walking), which is really stupid and i dont recommend* it.

As i looked right I saw a car coming. My body instinctively stopped me and I stepped back. This person was speeding and looking down. If they were going slower I would have made it across in time, or if they were paying attention they would have been able to stop because of my stupidity. 

My first reaction was ""dang that could have been bad"" but then my second reaction was more of ""dang I could have died finally"".

Okay Raven Dementia Way we get it you're edgy. But for a moment I was disappointed that it didn't happen.

I am a currently psych student, and have been living with depression since childhood (28 now). I have no plan or ideation to harm or kill myself. But dang if I wasn't disappointed that I still have bills.

I do have a therapist but cannot see them because of no insurance (working on it, hopefully in a month or so). I am on steady medication prescribed by a psychiatrist though and I see them monthly. 

I don't think I'm a danger to myself. But there was that fraction of a second where I could have ""done it"", and that scares me a bit.

(*I would recommend following pedestrian safety rules though, which include walking against traffic. I was crossing because my building is on the opposite side of where the bus drops off.)",3.6562915360501584,5.8133971787878815,4.330961337513063,84.27954545454547,74.18181818181819,7.703239289446183,28.34900731452456,8.53829466247534,2.186681295715778,1359,56,259,26,29,433,171,330,0.168,0.7659999999999999,0.065,-0.9904,2,0,0,0,0,1,51.0,1,0,5,3,10,14,4,1,18,1,47,2,1,2,0,42,69,26,3,12,13,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,21,12,0,2,3,0,2,13,8,11,0,4,19,7,40,3,30,41,3,50,0,3,7,0,9,17,3,11,17,195,61,4,0.10841721555784507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135546129828303,0.0,0.0,0.08336614656865234,0.09052384640068142,0.1982703849355477,0.0,0.09225506513448406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183635195765227,0.12042708557307108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867836625735057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596869739014534,0.0,0.0,0.06992013490234962,0.0,0.09337958889466977,0.0,0.11251995287819387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094845316892382,0.12706416918450614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876576025198934,0.0,0.0922196281685428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056643520373421324,0.0,0.12323200415447268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587298566444953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875130700394886,0.215365515836363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994758566789178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779562192809008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573438763304463,0.0,0.3641726219804449,0.0,0.0,0.09217243963096222,0.0,0.10258699077943742,0.0723693332583375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921893860496283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307517419540236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466573077816114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214520938701882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945484446782221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517541940959625,0.0,0.0,0.10854454630957744,0.0,0.1727889679507703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968384106204165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673826319218881,0.0,0.08658212839272171,0.1812832936158256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859083699414236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588074351881726,0.0,0.0694693740341734,0.21303872764262607,0.0,0.06321895025993153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059078659624498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17211307860764008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789290241689165,0.0,0.0,0.3080659171616608,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lolplzhelpmeomg,2019/04/02,"Why is it SO difficult to find a therapist/psychiatrist. Never posted here before. Sorry if this is the wrong forum. I have been diagnosed with depression with psychosis and a panic disorder. 

My psychiatrist from a couple of years ago was the WORST. She had four offices, and any time I needed a refill I had to call all of them. Always took days. also, when I told her I was dating a woman ( am female) she asked me if that was the same as being polyamorous and also be told me that it must be so hard for me to be bi because I must just find everyone attractive. She never remembered my name or details.

I am finally on my own health insurance, but the mental health system for my employer is awful. I have called upwards of 12 providers covered by my insurance and non were taking new clients.

This is the kind of shit that is horrible for people already dealing with mental health issues. It is SI hard for me to call people. Calling 12 people for help and being denied it is hell.


Sorry, just needed to vent.",3.914365384615383,5.803528138461537,5.25953525641026,79.06161057692309,72.74358974358975,7.9519230769230775,26.03365384615385,8.660442795831766,2.0825961538461546,797,27,141,15,16,266,114,195,0.207,0.767,0.026,-0.9889,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,2,1,10,1,25,6,1,0,5,26,32,15,0,6,6,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,9,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,7,0,1,10,2,22,2,21,15,4,14,1,1,0,1,16,1,2,3,10,111,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630628434250704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198912728763572,0.17376501519399246,0.09040044891090797,0.0,0.0,0.07388159458143934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015674040541111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622832830371965,0.0,0.09244797819997898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4437503783112549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202124366086383,0.0,0.0700663437586782,0.11200711617038038,0.09357485343350096,0.1102712969719346,0.0,0.0,0.12451535055617365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381392620224424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901410940065285,0.19859715845918494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19464723397599745,0.0,0.0,0.34645023567361405,0.0,0.0,0.07282173283403116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339603115667385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313592934434727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189750462189592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111618757972732,0.16758578534209748,0.10492897980010997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747023738499588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259600542161293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405084822697608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230723881950492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152142779131673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24323595853079524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168671072158963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614397069321245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335114637809842,0.0,0.0,0.2076278524044885,0.12070739824019565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803424386082604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187850768146092,0.0,0.06996312569031117
mentalhealth,Kire2512,2019/04/02,"I need help...maybe This may be very long and im not an english speaker. Sorry if i make big mistakes.

Im 17 turning 18 now btw.
I have always been a very social guy, never had problems talking to people. I wasnt the most popular guy, but always had a group of friends and partners with who i could talk. That was just because i used to hide my real self. My family has always been kinda chaotic, thats why i tried to make so many bonds with other people, just to stay away from my family. But i cant do it anymore. I cant  help people and hide my real feelings anymore.

I do not know why, but in the last months im getting depressed always. I have gone from being outside with my group of friends 24/7, to making up excuses to not go outside home. I just want to be in my room all day closed. The less i comunicate with others the better.
Also i broke up with my gf (you know the typical highscool love that u think it is never gonna end?) She and i were very close to eachother, but i dont know why i decided to break up. I didnt want to meet her anymore, i didnt want to talk her anymore, it was very hard for me, and i know it was for her too, so i decided to end it.

Its like no one matters for me anymore, i cant express my feelings, i just want to cry and get someone to notice my problems, but at the same time i distance myself more and more.
I have a lot of suicidal thoughts. Why im here? Which is my purpose? So much hypocresy everywhere. Almost everyone has wrong thoughts about me. Because i have been lying all my life. I dont even know who is the real me. Should i try to be around people, being the funny guy or should i stay at home thinking about the purpose of life? The later is the real me, but everyone knows me as the funny guy, etc...

I dont know why my life has changed so suddenly. (i will call myself K now to make things simpler) Its like the real K wants to express his feelings, but i have been another person for my whole life. Was she in love with me? Or with the person i prettended to be? The same applies to my friends and partners. 

I am in a huge conflict with myself. I know everyone hides things behind a mask, but im totally another person. No one knows my real self, the one who enjoys watching films all-day and likes to hear to jazz music. Everyone knows me as K, the reliable guy, the one who can  joke to make you laugh even at the worse moments, the hardcore basketball fan. And i just dont know who i should be. 
In conclusion, as i have said before, the real K is depressed af and wants to cut all type of relationship, but the K everyone thinks i am, even my family, has been ""missing"" for almost a whole year. Im losing everyone for being myself, and it hurts the most to them. I dont know what to do. 

Im in a point where i dont even mind losing people, but i dont want people to lose me. 
Maybe it has been a rough reading as i didnt know how to express things in english. But i hope u read everything and try to help me. 

As im writing the last paragraph one of my closest friend and my ex gf sent me a message, how ironic...but im a coward,i cant answer, instead of comunicating with them, im going to watch ""Mystic River"" for like the 50th time...why i cant answer them? I dont want to...they are not typing K, instead they are typing another person who is lost and confused..",2.054118638871856,3.3546338097281847,4.0322560290210525,88.38536748927041,76.42489270386265,6.652370733701207,24.642371755569183,7.240123139073775,0.9862775189045578,2559,85,557,29,56,874,253,699,0.12,0.755,0.125,0.5465,0,0,0,0,0,0,104.0,0,2,4,6,26,31,1,1,36,0,69,6,0,8,6,128,120,41,1,18,23,1,5,4,8,6,4,3,3,13,26,27,0,1,26,5,0,4,25,15,0,5,23,10,91,16,77,82,16,46,0,9,2,2,60,23,0,12,20,380,117,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573672892590576,0.0,0.0,0.03024232239039298,0.12586743158386687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896358470593385,0.0,0.0,0.18752201454793066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03366523800806193,0.0,0.0,0.035530411703057305,0.0,0.0,0.04610590811278849,0.0,0.03217956799810929,0.0,0.0,0.03344615308466152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038615488816219984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0400054789968381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030193878326005782,0.0,0.041540310221195205,0.048777803847349005,0.0,0.06514362818108961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545708902972914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698945440127073,0.0,0.04217606464920752,0.09991135546311758,0.0,0.0,0.21681516648094165,0.03398757234919605,0.0,0.1069517929177261,0.0,0.05736438835473029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686959517543465,0.0,0.03951574935970574,0.0,0.04298466053274569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872243803057596,0.0,0.0,0.0338766948900994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04262262183086727,0.0,0.07604401791471692,0.0,0.07586727240429263,0.03756091468366229,0.0,0.0,0.04048398928594133,0.0,0.4084895904529754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27018276961795595,0.06165197017454624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068453486387519,0.07390210226965392,0.0,0.0,0.03346694477477289,0.0,0.12692298994764808,0.04128183354253896,0.03215074732571495,0.06826282112734043,0.0,0.1262160444616073,0.03834060527165675,0.07598472280059794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03818449205071097,0.0,0.03018524960492245,0.0,0.027799920879062526,0.028040901568462555,0.05833376002303745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043055020684726934,0.0,0.0,0.12812923338469992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730569929340102,0.1320817373539684,0.0,0.0,0.035749384465775684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237171760996525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565467064892033,0.3013089849075565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04060141433407912,0.0,0.0,0.035972723536318515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789029688934479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03854977253869162,0.032042307362637495,0.0,0.0,0.04233314897485122,0.0,0.0806159969038513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136577105487554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118786104917463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537200551474459,0.07269501492172804,0.0,0.06004510872734856,0.044102911979802636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770259885749875,0.04113414695588037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032661833629020864,0.0,0.12481227699213415,0.1784440500804403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20474431206955676,0.08444288655111963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038538857213204436,0.0,0.04134706384003129,0.0,0.0243529734705669
mentalhealth,hermione123455,2019/04/02,I don't feel real It is hard to explain but I don't feel real like not human. I don't have out of body experiences or anything like that.,0.1456989247311853,1.8205530322580683,3.285161290322584,89.91440860215056,83.19354838709677,5.423655913978496,20.010752688172047,6.42735559955562,0.09499139784946298,108,3,25,1,3,39,22,31,0.229,0.7709999999999999,0.0,-0.6736,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,0,9,8,2,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,3,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500594250137174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3375314810135745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29724353231523026,0.0,0.0,0.3072919810906647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722081674054203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29691142969365714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6917420188594751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iNightx,2019/04/02,i dont know anymore. okay so. nothing necessarily *bad* has happened in my life but i just find myself always tired and drained of energy or stressed. idk whats wrong with me but i literally never want to do anything anymore and i hate just getting up every morning doing the same thing day after day. im bored of life and im stressed with school and i have no motivation to do  a n y t h i n g. im so tired of this and idk maybe its just school or whatever idk,-0.7194372294372293,1.4558050000000016,2.186038961038964,91.98477272727274,94.95959595959593,4.848773448773449,21.212842712842715,6.5431188927421005,0.443302453102453,361,14,81,5,14,126,65,99,0.354,0.595,0.052000000000000005,-0.9842,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,2,2,1,6,4,0,1,1,20,11,11,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,9,1,10,11,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,48,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466299294849008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971641548013817,0.0,0.0,0.12328983735368912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509419573102334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932441757346325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558898215627328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623057224710652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693359083308826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782752380309111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324861294662791,0.0,0.0,0.14791712389873496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4854968529352088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233764996869672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116458686146568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505152340599291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555111632774324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437571968325221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30325350417684804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432386757011952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953435053332216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3443941762165269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836825013806532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380563782287474,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Borneoboreon,2019/04/02,"Scored really high on an ASD diagnostic evaluation and was told that I don't have ASD? I was going to cross post this from where I posted it in /r autism but couldn't figure it out, so I'm just posting it here too.

I created this account specifically to ask for other opinions on what is going on with me currently. Not really a throw away account just didn’t want it tied to my other one.

I’m a 33-year-old male. I’ve been in and out of therapy for the past 7 years after the failure of my first marriage. I’m married and have two young kids. I’ve done personal and couples counseling throughout that time and never really felt like I’ve gotten much out of it. Looking back, I’m able to deal with my relationships better and it has improved a lot of aspects in my life, but I feel like I still struggle with a lot of the same core issues. I recently (past 4 months or so) have started with a new therapist and it’s going well. I’m doing twice a week therapy session which isn’t fun, but I kind of view it like working out. Don’t like it, but it overall is a better when I’m doing it rather than not.

I have recently come to realize how emotionally unavailable my parents were growing up and that I have a significant number of traumatic events from early childhood that I have never really dealt with. I did a lot of public speaking and 4-H stuff growing up. Reached the top leadership positions in the State, but a lot of that was driven by my mother’s desires rather than my own. I was in leadership organization in college and did that sort of stuff, but I’ve always struggled with fitting in. Make friends (I don’t have many close friends) became especially difficult after college. I’ve struggled in all my jobs and have had bad interpersonal interactions in almost all my jobs. I finally quit the 9-5 and have been a stay at home dad and consultant for the past 4 years. Last year I started looking for jobs and being very intentional in trying to go back to a corporate setting. It’s been a struggle, especially since what I did if a very niche industry. Just a little back story there.

What brings me here today is…recently through some off the cuff comment from my wife (“are you autistic?”). I actually stopped to think about it, so I did some research. Read a bunch of articles and then ended up on YouTube listening to adult diagnosis stories of people with ASD. A lot of their experiences resonated, and I related to them quite strongly. I did more research and took a couple of online ASD evaluations ( Aspie-Quiz [http://www.rdos.net/eng/quizh8.php](http://www.rdos.net/eng/quizh8.php), etc.) . All things pointed that I should get this check out and that I might be on the spectrum.

I talked to my therapist who wasn’t really keen on the idea, but I kept insisting that I wanted to confirm or rule it out. Finally he presented me with two options one was a traditional diagnostician and the other was a therapeutic diagnostic approach. I chose the therapeutic approach since it seemed like I would have more chance to explain myself and could then loop my therapist in after the testing to target treatment. I went in and did a ASD exam very similar in length and content to the Aspie-Quiz followed by close to 4 hours of personality interview, and at the end took a another test focused on social anxiety disorder related content.

I had the consult with the diagnostician and my therapist today to go over the results. The social anxiety testing showed I had significant social impairments, but an average (within norms) level of anxiety. My aggression and something else closely related to it was abnormally low (like almost non-existent) which the diagnostician dismissed based on his time talking with me. We went over the personality testing which wasn’t a huge surprise basically most of what I knew or have come to realize about myself in therapy over the last 7 years. We then came to the autism evaluation. It was based on my answers about how I view myself. I scored 153 out of 160+ (I’m not sure what the end of the scale was but it was between 160-170). The diagnostician then quickly told me that he strongly not advised me to self-identify as someone on the spectrum or report myself as on the spectrum to anyone. He viewed it like my low scores on the social anxiety questionnaire as an outlier and not to be paid attention to really. He suggested instead that I “might have an avoidance personality”. He didn’t say that I had Avoidance Personality Disorder in our meeting, but I came home and studied it like crazy. I have very low view of myself and struggle with my identity, but I just don’t relate to what I’m seeing the way I did with information about late in life autism diagnosis. He still has to finish his summary, and this consultation what just one of the closing steps in the evaluation to go over the data. I was hoping for a yes or no on social anxiety and autism, and maybe some guides for what it could be, but this result is confusing and really open ended to me I’m not sure where to go from here.

Thus I come for your opinions. How do I score so high on the autism evaluation and just have it ignored because I have developed low level competency with general social skills. Maybe it isn’t autism, but I don’t understand the results. It might be AVPD but I just don’t feel like it’s a fit. Yeah similar but….?

I meet again with my therapist in a couple days to unpack and await the summary. Do you think I should seek further testing for ASD? Is there a overlap or comorbidity with ASD and AVPD? AVPD doesn’t seem really solid or the research for it a priority which is may be why I’m struggling to see this, but I just don’t understand  not diving into the ASD result and comparing them or testing them further to differentiate ASD from the AVPD idea.

Any thoughts, kind words, resources, or similar experiences would really help right now. If you made it this far I’m sorry It was so long. I hope it all made sense. Thanks!",6.500562350271089,7.1361239541041535,7.219515950069351,72.13077184466019,65.41659311562225,10.640216870508134,34.19100996091288,10.546247564933571,3.714155223805321,4772,204,855,118,70,1584,424,1133,0.105,0.815,0.08,-0.9795,8,2,1,0,0,0,131.0,3,4,4,12,41,43,1,9,71,2,86,2,0,12,8,194,150,78,0,16,43,4,3,9,2,8,2,3,2,8,67,71,0,5,20,2,4,26,25,17,1,7,49,14,93,26,150,84,20,168,0,4,8,0,65,78,0,35,66,607,160,24,0.04392159080213987,0.0,0.04286113685724559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796225745539303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036546282032660284,0.0,0.0,0.02986818788098016,0.046055617550093284,0.16799948372478182,0.0,0.0,0.030710997516708638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04106075842106596,0.0,0.04126578036896725,0.1013189766265293,0.036672693713713365,0.02677419408751745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769015562855061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046919806470014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350368417783335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013563264627537,0.14579521446167776,0.0,0.028325792524831174,0.045281231526425963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067589649485467,0.0,0.0,0.044947036641204696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03669085321975343,0.04940587796790452,0.15560597132748208,0.0,0.048984183892577915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859274873939931,0.0,0.0,0.044416152011409665,0.06275518648999506,0.042171614995267774,0.09622791170669327,0.0,0.037359682698945115,0.0,0.0,0.06786742420303306,0.0,0.02294721839730979,0.0,0.17473156558419325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02943971648727524,0.09281114429025923,0.08811387344433047,0.08724809995152141,0.043253919609383566,0.0,0.0,0.09916425972241816,0.0,0.0458427296098978,0.13075620497545196,0.0,0.0,0.09147515596787567,0.0,0.0716039172807567,0.04954546751465034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062046236998614376,0.19312083630611807,0.04402097259966122,0.0,0.038869225728034536,0.0737661486769758,0.0,0.0,0.18670282924514392,0.0,0.08311934239324424,0.029318002917170374,0.04452959930710049,0.08825028284759574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978160090889047,0.0,0.0,0.03505779474184936,0.0,0.032287422922581806,0.0,0.0677500770135904,0.04241974608946239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046088321140018734,0.0,0.08928721988170281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876972881594194,0.0,0.12578438475669912,0.030449700818176037,0.1917531947684792,0.0,0.0,0.041520100020781055,0.0,0.1261942288180968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343203646710277,0.04393347660838199,0.0,0.2532356617001399,0.0,0.08673454435383518,0.04715535132499968,0.0,0.03750879856153249,0.0,0.034928211889432605,0.0,0.0,0.06999964264354916,0.0799691333733647,0.04581979814965535,0.0,0.0,0.07266478756945187,0.0,0.0,0.26863518387856056,0.037214621355703706,0.03381298641426707,0.0,0.049166624989393636,0.06217585606588364,0.046814571841471496,0.07015167830084132,0.03672041658923751,0.0,0.2754982986369669,0.10055942663983357,0.0,0.0,0.08279115908068124,0.0,0.0,0.07060502193294038,0.0,0.0404370997587834,0.15068450066052308,0.25498176088799857,0.029179553293987557,0.05628636381980905,0.0,0.03486883700759813,0.05122206560960927,0.0,0.08326506492722968,0.08393792445973579,0.09759700693217548,0.029819877065712968,0.0,0.08581002431387391,0.09144785000624314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495964901146718,0.05181218444856086,0.0348629143969668,0.03523125083196007,0.0,0.03949078490212746,0.08143150941034444,0.03963240413249799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031975441207579586,0.0,0.0,0.0624012758676742,0.0,0.0,0.14142032225329196
mentalhealth,hdearment,2019/04/02,"Feel like I’m losing my mind because of my dog. This may sound odd but my dog is causing me severe anxiety but not in the way you would think. We’ve had our dog for a few months, he is fine just a puppy doing puppy things, but recently I’ve been feeling really off about him. I’ll be sitting at home and all of sudden I’m filled with severe impending doom like a mini panic attack because he exist. It’s like my mind can’t comprehend that he is our dog. Every time I play with him I think he shouldn’t exist when I imagine him in my head he’s like an indescribable blur. I feel like I’m losing my mind, everything was fine a few weeks ago. But now i get uneasy whenever I’m around him. Not sure if this is right place to post but I don’t know what’s wrong with me.",3.139550930996716,3.491066602409642,4.796659364731656,87.55146221248633,72.73493975903614,7.964074479737133,22.92223439211391,8.00094639256281,0.8977180722891567,600,13,137,8,11,204,99,166,0.206,0.664,0.131,-0.9417,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,1,0,2,5,15,1,1,6,0,14,1,1,1,2,31,25,8,0,3,9,0,3,5,0,3,0,1,1,0,6,5,0,0,7,1,0,1,5,6,0,0,3,4,21,9,13,18,3,19,1,3,0,0,12,7,0,3,13,75,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122725922548223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591244808258432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324819723086132,0.0,0.1575047461710268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879340212096894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222437698378787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664852909421047,0.0,0.12442826096428462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21001061832025164,0.19781475763112885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233343886717808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208773383787315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887477270192689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608747696335186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33819383937388153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097761097951596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193794625452473,0.0,0.1105079844045467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243906186722026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464883902236686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325950474339352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869342359412982,0.0,0.13670083565392374,0.0,0.0,0.1182339550160895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31281398080601464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304857333995509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197879227966277,0.17742395552801332,0.0,0.0,0.08073022375247056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989368923077394,0.11105474677342858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834958632148393,0.15137130703941098,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,G0d_Slayer,2019/04/02,"What are the best CBD oil products for anxiety? I suffer from panic anxiety disorder. My anxiety can be severe at times. I have been on medications for 3 years 
(I’m  25M), and it has helped me a lot. However, I would like to try CBD oil since so many people online and a few of my friends have recommended it. Any particular company or product that helps with anxiety? Also, I’m considering medical marijuana. Whichever makes life easier. I live in the state of Florida, USA. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! ",3.3384375000000013,6.04530596875,6.099833333333336,68.42850000000001,77.85416666666666,10.506666666666668,30.43333333333333,10.355215969177356,4.306890833333334,407,20,69,16,10,146,74,96,0.17,0.639,0.191,0.6536,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,1,4,0,10,3,0,1,0,8,13,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,7,4,10,8,3,6,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,3,43,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843840481506858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784458332863872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23443562812374474,0.0,0.5274516773287633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808921485844352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19755146450248795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317297893648253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19003902515088286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310725529778222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175034355488623,0.08421149311028918,0.0,0.15220626172268764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654318909798295,0.0,0.0,0.11505861113183588,0.17475657755431584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472901799529156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20223957900295347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949996373959708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472954059584094,0.0,0.14258661409427878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051059318392057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702821808826555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24489403846754576,0.0,0.0,0.11100091578714456
mentalhealth,flatcirclejerk,2019/04/02,"Trapped 


I’ve been putting off doing anything  with myself or making necessary change for so long that I feel completely trapped. I feel like I can’t move.  A combination of not knowing what to do and not feeling able. I need help but I’m too afraid or proud or whatever to ask and at this point I don’t even know what or how or who to ask. I’ve put so much effort and energy into putting off my life for what if’s, but if’s, if only’s, woulda-coulda-shoulda’s. . .it’s debilitating. I can’t continue to hit the escape button on my life but all the other buttons scare me to death. Occasionally, I get a spark of motivation to move in a direction but am soon overcome by and completely wrecked by anxiety and/or depression. Back to where I started; feeling overwhelmed. Any effort toward forward movement is met with debilitating anxiety or depression and I just stay stuck. 

I tried meeting with a psychologist recently but it wasn’t a good fit. I’ve been putting off seeing someone else for any reason I can come up with. I tell myself that talk therapy isn’t going to fix my problems but I have some hope left that finding the right person to talk to would maybe do me some good. 

Debilitated is a decent word for how I feel most often but occasionally this is fine and I stay trapped. My life is a mess and I need help. 



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mentalhealth,hisuiku,2019/04/02,"Does anyone else feel like they're just... existing? I just feel so empty inside, like there isn't really a reason for me to ""live"", per say. Everyday, I wake up and go to school and come home and repeat the same cycle over and over again. I've cut off most of my ties with the people I used to consider friends and it doesn't even feel like they miss me or even know I'm no longer there. I just don't feel any joy in living my life to the fullest, or even at all. I'm just going through each day mindlessly and somewhere in me, I'm just hoping that something will change or just stop.  ",3.6806707317073197,4.025488398373984,4.3168191056910565,91.49766768292685,71.52032520325203,7.776016260162603,22.69207317073171,7.6454224807358475,0.6132609756097565,455,9,106,5,8,145,80,123,0.107,0.7859999999999999,0.106,0.2172,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,13,8,1,0,4,0,4,2,1,2,1,30,18,10,0,1,9,0,4,3,1,1,1,1,1,0,2,9,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,5,10,6,15,17,4,15,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,5,8,62,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137267071132747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479752048116392,0.18287407835741068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880840831554296,0.15374490677879712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510497732415145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618924426187353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909732266665535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536535082944004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36097985012194056,0.25501261126485736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789337610043173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286884548521725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17903021417426795,0.17727113120827015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808806186827017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606585846651433,0.26158926196975396,0.0,0.31520261032198954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373571257117852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433899989876142,0.1835073931534726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193463550867613,0.0,0.18063151238089206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740279397528518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492174566742425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414960587398313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tinytinatheteeniest,2019/04/02,"Taking on the symptoms of SO's depression My SO has dealt with mental health issues his entire adult life. Whenever things seem to start going great, his anxiety piques and he shuts down. He is convinced he wont ever be okay or live a normal life. He has recently gone from a high (promotion, doing great overall, etc.) to sleep-all-day depressed and suicidal. I have been depressed and suicidal before, but am currently doing sooo well mental health-wise. Now that my SO is suicidal, however, I feel very trapped in his depression as if I were the depressed one. I feel the same isolation and emptiness and loss of hope that he feels. Is this empathy, or just me having a response to the current hardship in our life? I miss him already even though he is still physically here.",5.202771159874609,6.974423496551727,5.582633228840127,78.516144200627,69.20689655172414,9.134796238244514,31.112852664576806,9.573946990214177,3.087344827586206,617,26,108,14,11,197,100,145,0.29,0.633,0.077,-0.9894,3,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,2,12,13,0,0,7,1,15,5,0,0,1,19,25,14,3,3,5,0,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,7,1,1,3,3,13,6,12,20,2,15,0,7,0,0,12,6,0,5,7,75,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266634919810705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196837976814592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022988201250137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753229909994969,0.0,0.5177288506467529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407767473397195,0.07940452915315936,0.10874635613236992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823613432668449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832410019041414,0.0,0.0,0.26508712721299416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25557761263153084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701959517307193,0.0,0.11940611679997434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547900365212816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547459563992344,0.0,0.0,0.10615693442928856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24230804503440145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779059848874557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146454545037678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187032742198531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944425936242068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030735624554335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509271302946964,0.0,0.09600827407770292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945052561977069,0.0,0.0,0.12495516687596946,0.09039088024873458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986918112208577,0.0,0.1181160646681314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919453140391687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080926983433722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1BadBiscuit,2019/04/02,"How to get over myself and start trusting people again? Long story short, I was in love with one of my best female friends for over a year, but never told her because she was in a relationship. I struggle with major anxiety and other things, so it really fucked me up keeping that secret for so long. The only way I found to cope was to talk everything through with one of my other best friends. We are a pretty tightly bit group of friends so the three of us would hang out constantly. After a while her relationship ended and she confessed feelings for my best friend. He has no romantic feelings towards her and turned her down. My issue is with my anxiety is I can’t stop thinking that “ they are lying to me” and I just haven’t been able to fully see either of them the same way even though we are all best friends and I just want things to go back to normal.",4.479912280701754,5.5735294619883025,4.941769005847956,85.01335526315792,70.16959064327486,7.571345029239764,27.11549707602339,7.793537801064563,1.4999391812865492,682,22,135,8,12,217,105,171,0.113,0.643,0.245,0.984,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,3,0,2,4,10,13,1,1,7,0,13,2,0,1,2,33,27,13,0,3,4,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,7,13,0,3,6,0,0,2,4,2,0,3,6,4,25,11,29,20,9,25,1,0,1,2,25,9,1,0,12,111,32,0,0.1152472408296747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632764757826258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861801441038962,0.0,0.07025364832355394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.483779476244075,0.0,0.12582013821232432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245413250044943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207484818172886,0.0,0.0,0.07611971564538536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357678887272452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654493551123785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636265104960748,0.4451986619093256,0.10654421707773648,0.06021192667905504,0.0,0.06549766283721127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028817725300035,0.0,0.1024370429402693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039803630301814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104015134401477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888577689487799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291782670694578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15618902601644666,0.08765071989053458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798979258103945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172478760547496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738303335497487,0.0,0.0,0.24746481315041016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183712983068043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157259023353695,0.0,0.0,0.09635185376344924,0.0,0.12048143897387127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263136669099888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313029170203332,0.07384577844402873,0.11322982897295322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012367742475886,0.0,0.0,0.12535590394439058,0.0,0.0,0.13862824069960494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797580859439067,0.18295579090618075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186833328052455,0.0,0.0,0.07421544456509661
mentalhealth,_tpancake_,2019/04/02,Could i have auditory hallucinations? Often when i am at school or in public i hear people call my name and when i turn around there is nobody there. normally i wouldn't find this too odd but recently i have noticed the amount of things i hear that others dont seem to. Sometimes just sitting with my family when i am not looking i hear them cough or burp or something and if i say anything about it nobody seems to have heard it. They say they dont remember things like my sister stopping her story for a second to have a little coughing attack and then continuing even just a second later. But i never hear voices besides my name(which is probably just because i have a pretty common name) only random sounds like burps or other things that could easily go unnoticed. I am a pretty paranoid person and i only started noticing this recently after seeing a post about auditory hallucinations so i dont know if my brain is playing tricks on me or not. Am i hearing things or am i just noticing things that are too small for others to care?,4.877366666666667,6.499128670000005,5.835000000000001,76.97666666666667,69.8,7.9333333333333345,27.333333333333336,8.447377352677275,2.0571333333333337,834,28,145,13,15,275,113,200,0.086,0.82,0.094,0.6905,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,0,17,6,2,0,7,0,20,5,1,0,1,37,35,19,0,6,16,1,0,2,0,1,4,10,0,1,15,6,0,1,5,1,0,1,7,2,0,2,1,12,27,4,15,31,1,22,0,0,2,0,18,6,0,12,15,118,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872888780644688,0.08516726410988842,0.0,0.10883930651400922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058320010277779125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680021381095907,0.09769054755994523,0.0,0.09754272090212147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527706418874542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.336376271709368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631896379008709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901898826347102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744134586458295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437190040643058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5391395257113685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052578150363161734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347980639210607,0.09588724000648792,0.0,0.0,0.0803393471887748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378719177947217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373703674098993,0.0,0.3267653997011452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552385553924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632606228469991,0.08353602168670618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162614689865373,0.19466312425708512,0.10314926573963812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892667699426455,0.0,0.10837632669105088,0.0,0.0,0.152162464327981,0.0,0.09682392166176602,0.07623721306173549,0.17419014238094496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736520288437674,0.09462083274662496,0.0,0.06771625978618331,0.0,0.0,0.07998504328042802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177970254573865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040623196214292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kerryferrell1993,2019/04/02,"Mom diagnosed with major depression and psychosis.  My 56 year old mom has been diagnosed with major depression and psychosis today. Since november if last year she went from happy, goofy, loving and sweet to angry, scared, paranoid, delusional and very hateful. It was a very unexpected change and has everyone completely stumped. She has constant auditory hallucinations of her closest loved ones talking badly about her even if they are nit in the same state. She is determined we have sent the fbi out to get her. She thinks there are cameras everywhere watching her, Expecialy in the shower. 

Last monday she was admited into the hospiatl for attempting suicide. I call her daily and check on her. I would say she has had one decent conversation with me since then. We finaly got to have a family meeting today with the case worker and the while time mom was very angry and saying we were steeling her things and money, that we were always talking badly about her. She was very determined that she is healthy and ok and that we are just abusive family. She wants to completely cut us out of her life and isolate herself. She says that will make her feel better. How do i handle this? How do i help take care of her and make sure she is safe? I just want her to be ok!",5.459871794871795,7.377478149572649,5.667179487179487,77.58615384615386,68.78632478632478,8.960683760683763,29.23931623931624,9.444778638647367,2.7925316239316245,1013,38,174,22,18,321,135,234,0.147,0.7040000000000001,0.15,-0.5327,1,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,6,0,1,3,8,17,2,1,8,2,25,5,0,4,1,42,41,19,1,5,4,3,1,0,0,2,3,3,1,0,7,25,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,7,0,2,11,6,38,10,22,27,3,22,0,2,1,2,47,7,0,2,12,126,45,1,0.0,0.12500637244852464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778875211127275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618481764074884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331074783292488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773257331731484,0.0,0.10756955093029752,0.0,0.1116104788840803,0.0,0.22124032389748274,0.11401360584999448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817428942198776,0.21417105050879065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696851688119862,0.0,0.0,0.10081470991420156,0.0,0.0,0.19892176645773704,0.0,0.053346583315665635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05512209602400497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438212140349148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231221382668273,0.0,0.10416451118195087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07071789055362429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720015879792864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452142073495817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19044506770192526,0.0,0.14085103859226636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706991349453396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107099265575092,0.0,0.14298606546614995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517058341949379,0.10562907928593478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745499314390464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540553025771262,0.0,0.09943737279545384,0.0,0.07932675650084725,0.16960211609877654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009294594055535,0.06760345192167883,0.0,0.0,0.061520912256009475,0.0,0.20001312685906364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690972730724154,0.0,0.0,0.34821125393363195,0.1244593639602894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978043482957154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749478446764949,0.0,0.0,0.1358837389006691
mentalhealth,PyroAbomination,2019/04/02,"Tired of being along Being alone left with just your thoughts is the worst. I don't have anyone to talk to or anyway to vent but like stuff like this. Posting so openly it's no where near as easy to vent. I need like closeness or something. I have no friends or family. I don't know what to do. 

Any advice? ",-0.2855381944444417,1.9960533281250008,1.0114583333333336,100.47659722222224,93.84375,3.469444444444445,14.923611111111107,5.033348758259628,-1.129459722222223,239,5,54,1,9,75,46,64,0.161,0.609,0.23,0.8105,0,1,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,0,0,12,11,6,0,1,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,10,8,1,6,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,3,3,39,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605819939894509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27618456282802245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18134137373755774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18645839850488816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25138807018611936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060247509164208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655213387165425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28973234973226114,0.0,0.0,0.3908372110671688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19772875066238585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553913983981364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20529177836185988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30526767545782163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143352606644585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170225755863087,0.0,0.3064922391924651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Assrocket33r,2019/04/02,"Escitalopram Hi,

I've just started my very first round of antidepressants today and I was wondering if anyone could offer some veteran's advice about taking them safely and managing side effects/etc...

I'm taking escitalopram, 10mg (if it matters). I've already googled the side effects and pointers on managing them, but it would be reassuring to hear anecdotal advice too.

Disclaimer: I will talk to my doctor before I make any changes to my medication or if I have any concerns. I know doctor's advice ≠ anecdotal advice.",7.648439716312055,8.832527319148937,8.596595744680851,61.33333333333334,63.04255319148936,10.947517730496457,38.00709219858156,10.864195022040775,4.74957304964539,424,21,62,11,6,144,64,94,0.0,0.933,0.067,0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,2,0,18,14,8,0,5,6,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,10,2,6,9,1,6,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,6,3,37,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6410867055707785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809925041297228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22306902732081432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468175390155826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395630447046816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735040835226863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095109265816288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33574865940405746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829179309197294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950943582310255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18485465300098414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013729542451616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947999958655974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522591566004585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608929700324755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466348379313329,0.13182749510370467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546521534161495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532796178750586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786518097639822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651018105658086,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Unholy_Penguin,2019/04/02,"I don't know what's going on with my head. Hello, for about 4 years now I've felt like I don't belong. I'm not sure what's happening. I've never had issues with depression or anything of the sort. But lately maybe 2 months I've felt like I don't want to be ""here"" I guess. I'm not sure like I don't want to die or harm myself but I don't want to exist. For 2 months I've just kind of been droning along in life. I don't hate my life, I just don't feel I have a purpose. I am about to go back to school, only because I feel like I'm supposed to. I have goals in life only because I feel I'm supposed to. I'm really not sure what's going on with me. Kind of sucks...",-0.7659139784946234,0.6825173548387156,2.067096774193552,98.64731182795698,85.12903225806451,4.907526881720432,16.13978494623656,5.6839178017228535,-0.8466215053763437,510,9,134,3,15,179,71,155,0.102,0.789,0.109,0.6136,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,1,7,13,2,0,2,0,13,4,1,0,4,28,34,4,1,3,9,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,6,0,0,3,11,4,0,0,4,5,17,9,22,29,0,14,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,4,11,70,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329825831747388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586681360769826,0.0,0.16785593633112336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858290132355465,0.0,0.14288928262616835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20884423522881745,0.09835805471380576,0.26438726403819346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347388025830319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166917125904608,0.0,0.1217492701907894,0.0,0.0,0.1359297154799531,0.14129858930997133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14370132444493308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867434199108517,0.07566489287065321,0.0,0.1553081451014089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917406917977252,0.2690524290935812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383172711982381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21978846283335854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618669395285232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20942248564178806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820082702720837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393387102675077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892830765139369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436202945701937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866089687137461
mentalhealth,curiousikitty,2019/04/02,"Need advice. Ex husband on suicide watch and I feel like he is manipulating me to have me around anytime I have free time. Please read...I know it sounds bad. I'm in Texas and on my mobile so please forgive any formatting errors. 

My ex-husband has admitted him self into a behavioral health hospital for having suicidal thoughts. He came down here to Texas, not really sure why, I guess to be closer to his children.  One of his is grown and our child  is with me. On top of his current situation; the ex-husband is homeless and trying to recover from drug addiction. 

I have been trying to be at least somewhat supportive to him. I take him when I can to look for jobs and such. I've offered to let him use my shower, and give him a hot meal if he is hungry, I even will wash his clothes and buy him cigarettes (more than I should have). 

The other day he asked me to go pick him up from a place 45 minutes away (one way). I had things to do and still had to be at work and so I told him that I couldn't. He said that he'd walk and that where he was going was 2hours away on foot. I felt as if he said it trying to guilt trip me, but nevertheless I told him to becareful. 
We hung up and I did feel guilty but then I just got really irritated. 

Well I  tried to get ahold of him to make sure he made it ok, but he never responded. Then when he did call me he told me he was at that behavioral health center and that he is on suicide watch.

I'm so frustrated! I am in no way obligated to him and our past was a lot more than rocky.  I feel like ,although he indeed may be suicidal, that he is seriously trying every avenue to keep me near.
I feel like he expects me to drop what I'm doing to give him a lift or buy him cigarettes. Dont get me wrong if I cant do something,  I wont, but it seems like every time I try to break away he does something stupid or irrational.

I want to tell him how I feel tonight while I go visit, but I feel like it's a total dick move considering he's on suicide watch.

Please give me helpful advice.",2.7441367560199907,3.6469920915492935,4.367007420869303,88.22918900499775,74.09389671361502,7.844192033923974,24.305315765561108,8.259297600419973,1.1802572467060428,1565,45,358,25,31,527,206,426,0.154,0.7509999999999999,0.096,-0.9876,3,0,5,0,0,3,46.0,3,0,0,2,14,18,2,1,8,1,40,8,2,6,4,62,80,34,5,8,12,2,8,5,0,4,5,3,1,3,14,18,1,1,12,0,3,9,7,6,1,2,19,15,62,13,53,50,6,51,0,0,4,1,62,25,1,10,18,227,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258345791284495,0.0,0.14805261026491925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151557734253616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743746065064232,0.07082012087953296,0.0,0.21352120610752112,0.0,0.06325174452819679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735369365057017,0.08664283156495929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488553092479639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629317000020404,0.0,0.08878357126333351,0.0,0.08785103244664016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500350547126892,0.0,0.12765266782784812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298221495712511,0.21647578193582268,0.07273608638747728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915707567217084,0.21801151746795394,0.1291588827872274,0.0,0.06058769940828874,0.0,0.08345199216117613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16104673080664347,0.0,0.0,0.05077656527694225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517453482917667,0.06733397523448563,0.0,0.0,0.04163262708103821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746398789200165,0.0,0.18504882219368424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636146014711801,0.0,0.0,0.0644036663916479,0.0,0.07168062770970159,0.050566638084192615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051491914686909,0.0,0.056170914213613525,0.05842644934242765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026662592732414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231612920116684,0.0,0.0,0.07914720546751633,0.24946668775951986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577488199700362,0.0,0.09706039354711432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411952931364833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896394404185675,0.07902834161897958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515109911100319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663884824532834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06049754714977226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4143149911978362,0.08596517472007191,0.14279521663297798,0.0,0.056957867353510036,0.0,0.06621266869000654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05032784514839279,0.0,0.0,0.0601405172910765,0.08834597843937544,0.0,0.0,0.2171596745360825,0.0,0.30859351550454595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542746317752006,0.0,0.0,0.04468189710540276,0.12026060437009838,0.0,0.0,0.06811228696061912,0.0,0.06835654672101753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05515009217012895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282552436029035,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MiserableSlip,2019/04/02,CANT MAKE ANY DECISION. FML I cant even think  LOGICALLY  cant fucking type prtoperly FC8CKKKK!!!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME. WHY!!!! THIS HUGE BRAIN FOG DOESNT GOOOO AWAAYTYYYYY. KILL ME!!!!!!,1.4706818181818164,3.040408303030304,2.4672348484848503,84.7208522727273,117.4848484848485,6.498484848484849,25.33712121212121,7.1686216300943375,2.4340939393939407,146,7,25,4,8,46,28,33,0.0,0.768,0.232,0.8584,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,5,2,1,1,0,4,9,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,9,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,12,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251991932149468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696825007640654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187271216789706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061507749387592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29284244240144297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3663779082679247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210509264883987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121930492022873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.597638227760765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xyzara0,2019/04/02,"Im tired of being fake; im tired of pretending to be fine I'm not okay man. I'm tired of being that one friend who asks everyone how they are, making sure no is ignored, i try my bloody best. Im tired of never asking for help, im tired of being ashamed of being sad. I am so bad at expressing my emotions and i just want a hug tbh. I just want a hug from some person who won't judge me and i want them to ask me how i am. I'm tired of being there for everyone else and having me emotions left. Im here too, please. Im here too, my emotions are here too. Most of the time i am not okay but with everyone even ny my parents i hide any sad emotions bc i am ashamed and i put up a brave face and when i can cry i cry by myself. Honestly im in a state rn i feel sad i feel so sad and lonely and forgotten  pls speak to me. I just need company idk i just need someone pls. Thank you. ",-1.4848333333333343,0.3462232500000013,1.5250000000000021,98.97166666666666,91.5,4.933333333333334,16.833333333333336,6.42735559955562,-0.4337666666666662,670,17,173,8,24,235,101,200,0.287,0.5660000000000001,0.147,-0.984,1,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,2,1,17,21,0,2,5,2,16,9,1,3,2,30,31,13,0,5,7,1,2,0,1,1,6,1,0,2,3,8,0,1,2,1,0,1,5,10,0,1,0,3,28,11,19,24,3,9,0,5,0,2,15,4,0,2,3,104,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05265055517483752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714123421719245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464529055053002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08125106346644984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009190067661484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467730146724586,0.348363538394226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051137414054588624,0.0,0.0,0.2219440801349832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829517717811921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05981711339192625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518952613871797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5854137744006912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412073180602772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05168070913299313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481691443970245,0.05971368571333752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05246408782840844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596950401268702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760311138619947,0.0,0.08498762436348496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783188406264775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560058088582191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729706218960464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712810486007418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045146197055785015,0.5339207336197731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052565394626936116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699895120394687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,n0tsocoolginger,2019/04/02,"I feel like I have some form of eating disorder. I'm (m18) and 123 pounds at 6' tall. I'm constantly hungry and feel sick, but Everytime I eat I get sick after just a few bites, and nothing taste good to me. I can eat candy or snacks very easily and it's often the only thing I eat, however anytime I try and get real food I just can't stomach it. Ill eat usually 4 or 5 bites before I feel full and nauseous. Eating past this point usually just makes me throw up. There are time, mostly when I work 40 hour weeks, where it's not like this, and I can eat normally. But it passes quickly and I just end up back at 120 pounds.",1.7329545454545432,3.1594100227272754,3.75060606060606,89.5459090909091,77.56060606060606,7.2242424242424255,21.090909090909093,8.00094639256281,0.8077636363636365,481,12,108,8,11,164,84,132,0.091,0.818,0.091,-0.0056,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,0,2,0,5,14,1,1,0,26,13,13,0,1,9,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,8,10,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,14,3,7,13,5,22,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,5,14,63,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871583901305238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645165681115674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249000910633635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990778266222444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.811890325793643,0.0,0.0,0.10039357685376056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719379918057771,0.08097655358734543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706206976337115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184403561944014,0.0,0.0,0.09507176966162477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162593994268144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075319914416612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566134265809855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105796105109987,0.10876142971056003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620702788557194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820445334109016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071514496995636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290159857607658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753040439563379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06609471778643064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695653565031578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496758358100388,0.09352480203410182,0.0,0.0,0.09092173668859246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251942742094738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MontyC7,2019/04/02,"Why am I like this? Why is it that I don’t feel? 
I’m not saying I’m like... psycho 
I’m just wondering why I don’t feel sad or sorry 
For people, I don’t cry, I don’t smile unless it’s forced, I don’t laugh, and I extremely hate physical contact, I can’t even hug my own family.
I’m on meds for anxiety and depression atm but I don’t think it’s the cause, because I was like this way before taking them...
Back in 2014 was the last time I remember crying, smiling, laughing because it was the time I lost my brother to murder. And after that, I lost every feeling of emotion in me.
I recently lost 2 close cousins I grew up with to suicide, and I lost an uncle to a drug overdose, and my grandma to natural causes (old age and cancer) 
And I didn’t even shed a single tear at their funeral, I didn’t hug anyone, I didn’t comfort anybody at all. All I did was watch and not feel sad. I still don’t feel anything, I just came here for my curiosity. ",1.8047844827586204,2.9535558423645334,4.238913177339903,87.26950277093597,76.78325123152709,7.242487684729066,25.002770935960587,7.8658589789855275,1.2826061576354677,728,25,162,11,16,256,109,203,0.232,0.621,0.147,-0.9593,0,0,1,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,2,4,7,17,2,0,6,0,18,4,0,2,2,30,36,11,3,0,7,2,5,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,11,0,0,8,0,1,2,13,9,0,0,13,7,29,8,17,23,4,19,0,7,1,2,6,7,0,2,12,101,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907164140040688,0.0,0.0,0.08291667043952661,0.0,0.09758450494963893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118375471893372,0.0,0.14457537735339124,0.0,0.10090622605273714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562847284139715,0.0,0.24363680941208654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605178499429845,0.0,0.0,0.10213620132381372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751975960463214,0.0,0.0,0.13339100753765573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664719023246468,0.0,0.09991211089771893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179041510165386,0.0,0.2997980964732816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170771218378977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966617643747562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738024164393462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5177936543535515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317200600530104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244339306464689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221119507268526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708736627647333,0.0,0.13433252371616142,0.0,0.0,0.09430273414930164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274504804512968,0.0,0.0,0.09470131322315224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971161841433948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891603889892223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598382104891299,0.0,0.0,0.13829453540455885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412643734681686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210107705286275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859925918421433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lady-lucifer-83,2019/04/02,"I cringe at the question “What do you do for work?” I’m on disability... Due to various mental and physical illnesses, I simply can’t work right now. People say I’m “scrounging,” but this is no life! Trapped at home, unable to see anyone, no career to passionately pursue. I’d love to get back into education one day and turn all of this around. I really am just too ill right now. ",2.3903428571428584,4.486732453333335,4.6365714285714335,80.90400000000002,77.8,8.019047619047619,22.714285714285715,8.841846274778883,1.750028571428571,294,9,58,7,7,102,58,75,0.18600000000000005,0.696,0.119,-0.5983,0,1,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,6,2,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,1,8,11,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,4,2,11,11,2,12,0,0,1,2,4,7,0,1,5,37,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748623289861254,0.0,0.0,0.22262495634466944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19229671948153285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128144481712026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065691046094335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25085145993844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17663948395847456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22570771027667866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520226540914319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946124059431192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337455740733065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28014776005230824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020818153401914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271353198718197,0.0,0.1988743112295243,0.0,0.0,0.19928204113506967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720161273814583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641236411727941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gibgingergib,2019/04/02,"Do you guys have pets? Do they help you cope? Hi r/mentalhealth, I hope this question is okay to post here. I'm sure one of the mods will give me a heads up if I'm doing something wrong - if so, I'm sorry. The reason why I ask is that I'm an introvert who currently can't be alone with my own thoughts, and I've been thinking of getting a pet. So I'd like to hear if you guys have experiences with pet ownership affecting your mental health, and if so, if that effect has been negative or positive.

​

(For those wondering, my issue is that I get mental shutdowns when I'm alone after being raped 1.5 years ago, and I'd like to be able to function when I'm not around people - especially since I am introverted by nature. I've had cats and dogs for 14 years of my life, so I'm an experienced pet owner - I just want to know if you guys feel like your pets have a positive effect on you, since I haven't had a pet since before I was assaulted and don't know.)

​

Thank you for your time.",4.967099358974359,4.626484331730771,6.033461538461541,82.67820512820515,68.66346153846155,9.625641025641023,28.39102564102564,9.2995712137729,2.055681410256411,783,23,172,14,12,262,116,208,0.087,0.77,0.14300000000000002,0.8396,1,2,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,9,1,2,9,10,2,0,8,1,23,4,1,4,1,31,44,18,0,8,9,0,1,3,0,1,2,1,6,3,6,8,0,0,10,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,6,3,21,7,18,34,1,12,0,0,0,1,21,3,0,10,11,100,27,0,0.11792319804290745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453179998641106,0.0,0.0,0.2442657387933797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555394716233969,0.28657918591872433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497664742801056,0.11024227170850642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034395608057917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535151537359167,0.0,0.0,0.05962551212614731,0.08424435624402216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322000775381635,0.11312267684099095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3502875177637925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102322203548205,0.12534684518226824,0.13290801459133852,0.0,0.07904143393382887,0.0,0.0,0.11712434342142933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308118134810493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961501137265508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329264218098748,0.17283395409886315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376776955901349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07990781087022683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175309760761472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129378267424032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132100969799751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124468766900867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926418640173933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078303905963013,0.0,0.1320053656946131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114121859171563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856783727659287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556042377585175,0.0,0.09361784709702556,0.06876196509205751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955415749041605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640734445359401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278826780106874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893050516615925,0.28657918591872433,0.15187734655142995
mentalhealth,Bobmorane666,2019/04/02,"How to deal with someone refusing to take meds My close friend was diagnosed with bi polar disorder ( althougth i think it is scyzophrenia) he thinks he is aristotle and everything he does ( dress, eats, talks the way he thinks aristotle was) and refuses to take his meds because it is a conspiracy from the elite to hide the fact that aristotle came back. I listen and listen to the delusions for hours until I get an opening to talk about his medications but it always ends with him getting mad if I mention it. Ive been to the psychiatric institute where he was admitted last month to tell them he was not taking. His medications but they told me there is nothing they can do and they cant keep him or force him to take the medications. How is he ever gonna get better? He was just a regular guy couple years ago now he eats insects and dresses with bed sheets. Dont know what to do. His parents are dead and im the last friend who did not give up on him.",3.784761904761904,5.463734142857142,4.745164021164023,83.48409523809528,72.65079365079364,8.637883597883599,27.41481481481481,9.21078282632365,2.2638364021164024,759,28,152,17,15,247,114,189,0.08900000000000001,0.851,0.06,-0.6858,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,4,2,9,4,1,0,10,0,19,7,0,2,2,32,38,13,1,1,7,1,0,0,2,1,4,2,1,1,7,13,2,3,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,9,2,19,3,20,28,0,18,0,0,0,1,38,5,0,2,11,94,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898512083562496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023017751688038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453867434830088,0.0,0.07494736623056003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873665379748647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061864490920972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603854638543827,0.0,0.0,0.12675298578507088,0.0,0.12478864393154646,0.0,0.0,0.14090794405474955,0.0,0.10759177145746304,0.0,0.14409299945247092,0.0,0.0,0.2516110038346667,0.0,0.0,0.10889457291059934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121262436268836,0.0,0.0,0.11049685979122092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899771354552514,0.0,0.19270424075968384,0.11794199091919835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173688598640435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107805535715588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280388648741887,0.0,0.0,0.10928096627041604,0.0,0.0,0.0675684704482085,0.200436472315167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731328601432219,0.3715685836914136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813514360748447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179709878723578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365181231818138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417261661585872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36976345207112493,0.19764032557722674,0.10746112031242397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363384706856505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748115264559598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758962696069733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917385412024598
mentalhealth,throwawayway765,2019/04/02,How did you heal psychosis and stay out of it? How did you heal from a psychotic break and how do you prevent further episodes?,3.848399999999998,5.5868116400000005,3.4450000000000003,92.6275,72.6,6.6000000000000005,32.5,7.1686216300943375,1.8362000000000005,101,5,21,1,2,30,18,25,0.0,0.94,0.06,0.1179,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,3,0,7,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheLiDl,2019/04/02,"feeling worthless and guilty I would pleeeassee like some help with my irrational worry about people being angry with me, my guilt and feeling worthless, this is happening way to often and it all sends me in to a rabbit hole of feeling depressed. The strange thing about my situation is I only really worry when men are annoyed with me which is strange because I am a man and I am also straight. Also what comes along with this is i really struggle to be nice to women who show interest in me and are kind to me especially close female family members, it's like the nicer they are the more I try to deflect it and I just avoid them all together if they persist on being kind to me, this makes it extremely difficult to keep a healthy relationship with my mum and with potential partners. I think this is the reason i carry so much guilt on my shoulders as I am very aware that I do this but I really cannot help it. I have tried to find out whether this stems from having a mentally abusive father (who of which I no longer have contact with) as the way i try to impress other males reminds me of how i use to try and impress my dad and i treat women a little bit like he does aswell:(

Thank you for taking the time to read this... all help appreciated 😁 does anyone else suffer with this problem??? ",6.016927083333336,6.076842984375002,6.59959375,78.14436458333336,66.421875,9.326666666666666,31.910416666666666,9.029198982220553,2.6095622916666668,1028,38,196,16,15,337,142,256,0.158,0.66,0.182,0.8358,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,3,1,9,22,1,4,11,0,20,1,1,4,3,43,31,19,0,3,4,3,3,3,1,1,0,0,0,6,21,21,0,2,6,2,0,2,2,11,0,0,0,3,34,11,35,27,7,14,0,4,0,0,22,8,0,3,5,147,55,1,0.0,0.15141330860744698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439135755327326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935554214302678,0.13093859839947028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790116966507261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395163976256448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008199076376717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100675605199905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236642930744096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675430126805777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047146966770217,0.0,0.19384730212983065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680010150023196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300655503802855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25697001464959995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358791539659878,0.0,0.2661526103045143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872989962619458,0.1280817358721736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853025384079208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878486189241614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939422491268426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971920144276555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859528327664314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228023876451632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278271608870451,0.0,0.2456015941179064,0.1313920544195188,0.0,0.13720140416467402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364421242122605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335965496876397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096084114974511,0.0,0.0,0.11765423671673007,0.0,0.0,0.08489971068693036,0.08188432420083934,0.0,0.0,0.07451688014598308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470510888349368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037175699402328,0.0,0.10544226070184906,0.0,0.20287160095871504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595591331300201,0.0,0.09078018114746964,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phiaM94,2019/04/02,What's the point? There's always something ,1.7650000000000006,3.2617055000000046,0.7199999999999989,97.025,119.0,1.6,16.5,3.1291,-1.0374500000000002,36,1,6,0,2,10,7,8,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5637289687565054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6404504607736725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.521567691752008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SEND-POLITICAL-NUDES,2019/04/02,"I don't talk to people about my problems because when I did I was very emotionally exhausting to those around me. I thought it would all go away as I spoke about it less. About a year in and I don't think I've improved. Endorphines have stopped working what do I do? I feel depressed and have confidence issues very often. I'm almost constantly in a state of hightened anxiety. 

I guess I laid it all out in the title. I just feel like I'm constantly doing something wrong in my life. Looking at the things the wrong way, not being active enough, maybe diet, not socializing enough. I don't know what it is but there are a few things that I just keep repeating and  a lot of things that don't have any effect when I change them.

I'm not really hopeless just kind of confused? My therapist keeps telling me I'm healthier than I think I am. Could I be doing this for attention? Am I being a psychological hypochondriac? ",3.1443162983425417,5.2006059281767945,4.337897099447513,84.11082354972376,75.353591160221,8.060911602209945,26.229627071823202,8.841846274778883,2.060151657458564,727,27,144,16,16,238,105,181,0.125,0.8290000000000001,0.045,-0.8442,0,0,1,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,1,2,11,9,0,1,8,0,22,3,0,1,2,33,38,7,0,3,7,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,13,5,1,3,8,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,4,4,24,2,19,29,7,18,0,2,1,0,5,8,0,5,8,107,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966094761325484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948456654847407,0.0,0.1066956113873682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241595487027555,0.0,0.0,0.13103842845900196,0.0,0.0,0.08502076745222578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754276255808746,0.0,0.0,0.30143912192668704,0.0,0.11135695240428828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012693143424799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568870998601077,0.0,0.2882234837883885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104235290672446,0.0996387435518446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792650872037321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364400713060994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14557241352618344,0.0,0.24793804205605485,0.0,0.14523850723160953,0.07665010129118179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851311807746008,0.06813891872521284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712125773069328,0.0,0.0,0.11857401030288738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011825624056135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669224492022936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345575924852698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934926184536554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217402413289432,0.0,0.10737227217356096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660474221474106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210221923203413,0.12190457623463286,0.0,0.0,0.1619376099699265,0.2779767719833514,0.17873590642589834,0.0,0.11072509868503183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301578260072847,0.0,0.11070629158669117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153719444199387,0.0,0.0,0.0990768264943067,0.30498122635181946,0.0,0.08981532211213475
mentalhealth,jjmilt0n,2019/04/02,"I think I need some support I’ve never really done this before like ask anonymous strangers for help but my mental health is deteriorating and I don’t know what to do. I have good friends and parents who can support me and my S/O ( significant other , gf ) is a huge huge help. I just don’t want to burden her because she doesn’t need that as she’s not 100% okay herself. My mental health is starting to affect my physical health badly and I don’t know how to stop or improve it. Any advice is appreciated please even pop up in a private message if you please. 
Thank you ",4.187934782608696,5.1490630434782645,5.407554347826089,81.8965489130435,70.73913043478261,7.4891304347826075,28.28804347826087,7.6454224807358475,1.5867608695652171,450,16,91,5,8,150,79,115,0.091,0.57,0.339,0.9858,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,3,9,0,0,2,1,12,3,0,2,1,20,23,9,0,4,5,1,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,17,7,8,22,1,7,0,0,0,0,14,4,0,3,4,58,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158435999552933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548893136426993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450190264004243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295211910921544,0.09456151587389452,0.0,0.13199821257719685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587446443743132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245725127564903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198476131553751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010977806691068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4946653539241602,0.0,0.0,0.20795129883907976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050304266083074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578524209728882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126549142847372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300434167610731,0.1196403888392861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722456881622551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340556852383454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937573954573972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979682863896408,0.0,0.0,0.12968973948754864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35206339066981296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281637901912295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939652839657498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149554018654728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kloud-Boi,2019/04/02,"My wife is divorcing me and with someone else after we had a miscarriage. I have BPD as well as bipolar ll among other things. I processed our miscarriage much differently than she did. It’s going on 4 months separated now, the divorce process in court has taken its toll along with the constant reminder that she is with someone else. We were together for almost 8 years, and she was my first girlfriend. We share a daughter who is three, I take care of her full time and her mother has her a night or two of the week. Initially I felt okay, I was dealing with it well, but the dark depression from the loss of our other child and losing my wife in the same year is starting to devastate me. I’m strong when I am with our daughter, but the abuse and emotional torment I now get from my, soon to be, ex wife is breaking me. I don’t know what to do anymore. The guilt, depression, and abandonment are starting to manifest in irritation and rage again. I am beyond hurt. I have put my purity ring back on my tattooed wedding finger as a reminder that I had my happily ever after, and no one will take me from my daughter. I can’t eat, sleep, focus, and my memory is worsening by the day, I can barely take care of myself; though taking care of my daughter seems to be easy, I don’t forget things, and I am a good father. I no longer have friends really, I haven’t hung out with anyone in almost 4 months. I am broken, and angry, and I miss my little family, most importantly I miss the “would have been” times with my child in heaven. I just needed to get it out. Daddy loves you so much S.A.",5.3360800265648365,5.425873981072559,6.178671758260004,80.48096795616803,67.86435331230285,9.323526481819693,29.302507056284245,9.134995656068208,2.2645053627760245,1240,40,249,21,19,410,172,317,0.196,0.6629999999999999,0.141,-0.9767,1,1,0,0,2,0,40.0,6,1,0,4,13,22,1,1,15,1,34,5,2,0,1,41,55,21,0,2,4,10,2,0,2,2,1,1,0,2,12,25,1,1,3,0,0,2,6,10,2,4,9,3,51,12,41,42,5,38,1,8,0,1,34,13,0,5,22,191,63,0,0.0,0.1362034302025895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23022258893051603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400493336047303,0.08037953505821288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839365799806784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478238591054604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35161427857828204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242260206609055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413676589510346,0.11851403833357092,0.1980219497840956,0.0,0.0,0.12010399551900193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762814094246815,0.1920610830754276,0.12930942728390324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039838008174878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836978308709397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037527531072087,0.0,0.0,0.09778106112085024,0.0,0.0,0.08881430829575575,0.0,0.12011897331902148,0.0,0.06533184078909397,0.09641919131544008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230622045053317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317651806970616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521557736592572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128605762597855,0.0,0.0,0.10375179672079488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18351271331925886,0.0,0.1690109897168295,0.08523802185004402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787791805859374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778967992039013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155619947938266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364341547371245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465113932007764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150384860113151,0.0,0.19480278752335928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627321417906748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457288178395894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274260796647865,0.0,0.11294316222279857,0.0,0.13406291398322895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229478713497568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221034125809546,0.0,0.20671754004668288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166106520236019,0.0,0.0,0.14805510298801264
mentalhealth,lameass007,2019/04/02,"Depression I never connected this in my head until today. Having an emotionally unavailable, abusive, mentally challenged father is only going to make you a better person for your own kids one day. But hating school and ruining my hole career was just not as clear to me now as it was before. I struggled to keep any type of motive as to why i would want to learn any information at school or in life or anywhere i never wanted to learn shit and i might kill myself someday for the fact that i'm a complete failure even after learning that the facts behind this... Was just an abusive uneducated father and a 5 year old boy silently getting beaten up for the only reason of watching his father fix shit around the house to learn because that's the only man figure that can teach you in 1997's in a fucked country called lebanon. ",11.560400843881858,7.823102550632914,10.961012658227846,63.38008438818568,58.303797468354425,12.558649789029536,40.89029535864979,9.725611199111238,4.098439662447257,665,23,111,8,6,218,107,158,0.256,0.721,0.023,-0.9915,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,3,0,4,5,11,6,1,11,0,8,5,3,3,5,29,17,10,1,3,6,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,7,4,0,1,8,0,0,1,3,9,0,1,3,1,13,2,25,12,1,17,0,2,1,1,13,7,3,3,9,79,20,12,0.0,0.3370163396238946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934297870040584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266064977105246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669636538030018,0.0,0.1210192662562684,0.0,0.0,0.12578257438503787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14522314665444408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911560642205982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172052949165127,0.0,0.12249440521093752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997904677313593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393537328970764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148066461101596,0.07430440012990809,0.0,0.0808272516003525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041341089114873,0.14595937914728227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410349200390492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641221509701414,0.15734603607486075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045462462327544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493336325341424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332492682818307,0.1508735950025642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193786080773992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492366088129066,0.0,0.09637236777762596,0.3244955537032978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241815531937034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622647653428233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878697054393485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919748300814573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867986366654054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348085112991511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777080420874915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833198184563374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010294426629073,0.0,0.0,0.09158541161085626
mentalhealth,dylan2k2,2019/04/02,"Life seems pointless I would never kill myself, but I  just feel like I'm living in a loop. I just recently moved schools/location and dont play any sports or have any hobbies anymore, and I'm lacking in the friends department having only one decent friend. This is mainly  because most people I talk to are uninteresting and in order to having social interaction with them I have to fake interest. Aswell as being unable to open up around others. I usually get home and just watch youtube or sleep and have no drive to do anything. I'm pretty good at suppressing emotions and stuff like that so I dont really feel the need for medications or therapy, I just want a bit of advice on how to feel meaning. ",6.649944444444443,6.9670320962963,7.161620370370373,73.7735416666667,65.07407407407408,10.00925925925926,32.43055555555556,9.827888789773867,3.1184999999999987,563,21,100,11,8,185,94,135,0.064,0.726,0.21,0.9699,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,1,0,7,9,1,0,4,0,12,3,1,1,1,30,23,13,1,4,8,0,3,2,2,1,2,0,1,0,4,9,0,1,5,2,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,4,10,7,17,21,4,15,0,0,1,0,6,8,0,5,5,69,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292234669157406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128400968897624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551981914184042,0.0,0.0,0.12877972977831575,0.1393112180753017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539618015061033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17084892895809106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.366815337897885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603263873113648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23738144414509635,0.11179804434479253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24181093946162324,0.0,0.08176070484249408,0.0,0.0,0.13125821549201175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697441568899193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313541043547118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053505444533247,0.15290834841336234,0.0,0.13818546161927933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17046586079305434,0.0,0.15764940709230638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632642082554347,0.0,0.116036968236989,0.12069641631191788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604315091788506,0.11901935436148367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849197310245703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15920880656450306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100252897436077,0.0,0.15451714795623106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246460283430765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566051963384387,0.1595240695344222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914610516788715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12578248611024945,0.0,0.0,0.17896244575316328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723540267344496,0.0,0.09230314207582292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111675543779652,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MOTORRUNNER,2019/04/02,"Using Latuda as an anti-depressant? Experiences? I recently saw my psych and I have really bad dissociation so I was asking her what I could do for it. I am on 10mg of paxil and 30mg of buspar. Also take Propanolol and Klonopin for emergencies. My doctor told me she wanted me to try Latuda, which I guess is a schizophrenia/bipolar medication. I am really nervous to take this because I don't have either of those? One of my friends recalled when she took it she became very disoriented and dizzy. Has anyone had any experience with latuda? I am just curious if anyone else found it helped their depression/anxiety.",3.4208333333333343,6.127809646551725,5.269655172413792,74.49919540229888,77.5344827586207,8.349425287356324,26.04597701149425,9.075114841892004,2.694456321839081,493,19,83,13,12,168,83,116,0.109,0.843,0.048,-0.7719,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,12,2,0,1,0,13,22,9,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,6,1,19,1,11,15,1,4,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,2,2,62,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171416617575068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901198213166504,0.0,0.14513064186416422,0.0,0.0,0.2653047904117579,0.19438434691368373,0.0,0.0,0.17735692077605006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840321230624166,0.11564785459944615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514711408306799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340033519212674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19418025248960694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848165007012935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711532655568967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20801153881834866,0.14657251644281047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089912891776876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716125238505765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911168317255028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285550729521557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430712107666388,0.0,0.18731962466160648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28528253954756216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812797959775844,0.210779163513562,0.12880330947764088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385192879142516,0.0,0.15653386575210376,0.11189819484390012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yungyves,2019/04/02,"i cant talk to girls even tho i‘m not ugly whenever there is a conversation with a girl approaching i‘m getting kinda weird and lose all my self esteem. 
even though i am pretty handsome, well dressed and fresh its just something that doesnt let me be myself around pretty girls. 
i dont know what to say if it comes to a convo, neither can i lead the conversation to the point where i want it to be. usually it ends up in small talk or whatever, stuff i dont really care about. 

so how can i keep my cool around girls and wake their interest in me? 

i would really appreciate some wise words from strangers, preferably from girls but i wouldnt know how to reply :(",5.481590909090909,5.702709886363639,5.863181818181817,82.41477272727273,67.56060606060606,9.630303030303034,27.863636363636363,9.516144504307137,2.123345454545454,523,15,109,10,8,168,88,132,0.067,0.777,0.156,0.7674,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,14,8,0,0,5,1,13,1,1,3,1,26,22,11,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,6,7,7,0,1,3,0,0,3,7,2,1,0,0,2,15,6,15,17,3,13,0,1,0,0,12,8,0,4,2,76,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30415234486935344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17417400686393852,0.0,0.0,0.14715613246750467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4004262782893061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130592298787435,0.0,0.0,0.22566506908331904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925236043293358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184280561095467,0.0,0.0,0.1877689495956504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468668995663833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111664976774126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149089916277815,0.0,0.0,0.3475939160496788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21887795007755748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585199316353674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821441660644746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151436476997366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955610923291637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746156312641687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16784099205330474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18814666221144716,0.0,0.10076079115895642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359795278182134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135373161109388,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amenteco,2019/04/02,"For all of my childhood my mother would just ignore me when she was pissed at me. Is this emotional neglect? Since I was like 6 my mother, we lived alone, would just ignore me for days on end when I did something wrong. I don't remember much, but I know I cried and begged her to talk to me, I know I felt really lonely, like a feeling of overwhelming doom, to know I'm all alone. I was really scared. But is this even neglect? She didn't hit me or anything just ignore me. It was probably my fucking fault.

I only ask because now as an adult I can't feel much of anything, and I have no idea of how to express emotions. Just wondering if that could explain it or maybe I'm just depressed.",1.8101300108342357,3.684868507042253,3.2953521126760603,90.89173889490792,78.71830985915494,6.341061755146263,23.599133261105088,7.321109707123232,0.9010567713976164,536,18,115,7,13,176,83,142,0.299,0.648,0.053,-0.9902,0,4,1,0,1,0,17.0,1,0,0,0,10,16,2,2,2,0,14,2,1,1,2,34,27,11,0,4,10,2,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,5,10,0,0,0,4,14,0,0,7,3,25,2,13,16,4,8,1,6,0,1,11,2,2,4,8,81,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226841365882313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563888733400818,0.0,0.14563414598178898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949626124851554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12437840113168118,0.0,0.17111804293707555,0.10046581607939133,0.0,0.1341738916345513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504651702022541,0.1379756707825338,0.0,0.0,0.10289183881272458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753504354805922,0.0,0.14957412796734182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440169648171168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758577146639048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568393846816017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221339275009071,0.0,0.13755742024592987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650288827309095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290338242203841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847842134369417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679581965762058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19959451279298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17646943244878288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15596389282127265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886359979161965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992777505564108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521081522393265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893777957691986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22132461426967545,0.17032199826688987,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wiki119,2019/04/02,"how do i leave my past behind and move forward? 25 now. i used to be very mischeivous and mean kid but that changed when i hit 13-14 years of age. i grew up a loner and extremely shy and used to thought about people i hurt. i only saw hatred in people's eyes for me. I had hurt many people's feelings when i was a kid and i narrowed my list down to 3 people. ""I'd apologize to them next time i meet them"". I had met 2 of them afterwards but when the time came, i couldn't say it. I just stood and felt sorry and awkward and embarrassing. This stuck with me for the rest of my life. I got into religion, started noticing my actions. After a while i realized, i make people uncomfortable with my presence (i didn't talk much, i had got my front tooth chipped from an accident) so if i really want to help them i should help in indirect ways like do good and take no credit and pray for them. My family and relatives knew the kind of kid i was, they never trusted me.  They never trusted me from there, If anything broke in the house, i was questioned or if anything went wrong i was to blame. If they were in conversation and i had joined they'd look at me or make a joke on me. I used to think about my suffering so I turned to God and would relieve myself. I embraced the concept of afterlife. It was just so satisfying to the way I was, lose here, win there. I have been criticizing myself for years now. When i see a person, i remind myself of all fuck-ups associated with that person. That makes me anxious and awkward infront of them. Which in turn makes them uncomfortable. Which adds another fuck up to my list. I don't want to go out or do anything. I have stayed in this room infront of a screen for most of the time in 2 years. League of legends helped me escape my life. My parents thought gaming is why i don't live so i quit. I've quit gaming twice now once in 2017 and 2ndly feb of this year. I don't play this game at the moment and i don't want to play either. but I see no way forward with the immense guilt i have. ",1.475421615201899,3.413053071258912,3.1456288598574846,91.25616300475063,80.04513064133016,6.110237529691213,21.92642517814727,7.1686216300943375,0.5797918764845611,1577,48,348,20,40,522,200,421,0.198,0.69,0.112,-0.9893,2,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,11,4,19,22,1,4,16,0,29,5,2,8,3,65,64,36,0,10,13,1,2,1,0,2,2,1,1,5,11,24,0,0,9,6,1,9,10,11,0,1,25,9,72,11,54,33,5,55,1,5,6,1,30,20,1,10,27,235,83,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484196723651038,0.0,0.10217979786730773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232914685619108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344771059433402,0.0,0.0,0.0956813382265986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526574299911012,0.0,0.045732914440417126,0.0,0.08684367163987393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16723429610607188,0.0,0.0,0.05140333207001757,0.07586297354011623,0.1446780692818439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818749226520353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436413618311637,0.19365158817052536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418703088525156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577071893337816,0.0,0.0,0.12777132279620085,0.04418802261734143,0.0,0.07986669618474378,0.0,0.07595302189114952,0.10118748593471348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414973217185365,0.09169944999533296,0.0,0.09852371555076984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961312540690328,0.06648923345006054,0.0,0.13951719521305125,0.0,0.09619181783079317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029749449272724,0.0,0.09632351091873004,0.0,0.06878931042024153,0.0,0.0,0.10043111499838507,0.0,0.08634226132482804,0.3135241346202669,0.1579503320822713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132176871817336,0.1924038502320648,0.0,0.0,0.057942909531449135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192738918427008,0.0,0.0,0.14414970783848444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124844013440916,0.06401912315570044,0.09640487577765867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800517563462598,0.07269818029921807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795503086517422,0.0,0.14361023792387054,0.15822178900486072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19676155997828554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23435249587734505,0.0,0.07462856331916544,0.16004462955830526,0.21537876773078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384563011358241,0.08161469488820043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425122575895646,0.0988900145469444,0.0,0.23298059664726026
mentalhealth,Melon_crisps,2019/04/02,"Anxiety made me skip school rant I have midterm exams coming up this week (by that I mean today til Friday) and I skipped because I didn’t get the chance to study yesterday due to the lack of energy so I decided to take a “little” nap at 9pm and wake up early to study and do homework because I’ve noticed that I would waste my time in the evening/night doing useless things but when the time gets closer to morning I become more productive so I thought I could just wake up at 12AM or 3AM and let pressure help me with my tasks. But instead I slept through my alarm(or it didn’t go off) so I got really anxious when I woke up at 7AM thinking “I can’t afford to fail, I already missed assignments for my career & financial management class and I don’t know much about loans. Might as well make up the test with more confidence than risk lowering my 65 average” then I thought about my physics test today, “no, I need to do more practice questions on castle learning or handouts” even though I got a 100 on the last test on electricity and circuits (only bc our class did poorly on the first test on this unit so our teacher gave us a second chance. I got a 65 that time) Although my physics teacher said she’ll only test us on the same topics for the midterm, I didn’t feel confident enough because that last test had 25 questions and we were only required to do 20, so I remembered seeing some questions I didn’t understand and I don’t want to risk that today because today is the midterm test, not the make-up unit test. Usually my mom is okay with me staying home if I didn’t complete assignments but I’m not sure what to write as my excuse on the absence note. Usually I write it and let my mom signs it bc she can’t write in English, but I’m running out of ideas. Plus I think my teachers might pick up that pattern of not going to school when there’s tests, I would write it’s bc I’m sick, or a family emergency came up, or a migraine. I even emailed my teachers last winter that I had a death in the family bc my mental health was rolling off the hill (i think it was bc i stopped taking Zoloft) and I think they were convinced bc some days I would be lifeless or cry in class. Having a death in the family got a better reaction than I’m diagnosed with clinical depression cus I said that to my chemistry teacher last year and ugh",4.35591710526316,5.131177246315794,5.029799342105264,85.43975164473686,70.22105263157894,8.211184210526316,30.21217105263158,8.376592526197632,2.0771697368421047,1852,73,381,27,32,597,227,475,0.145,0.7859999999999999,0.07,-0.9893,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,5,0,1,4,17,13,0,3,24,1,34,9,3,3,1,74,71,36,2,8,14,2,1,0,0,6,6,2,2,0,17,20,0,2,17,1,2,5,13,8,1,2,25,4,59,5,56,36,9,60,0,4,1,0,23,27,0,13,27,242,76,26,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872828537137665,0.0,0.0,0.08569896193274902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060507149598337924,0.08935438031950027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19286132684577773,0.08735376735140954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995274278098043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046314700711663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813299110848782,0.08292917927360421,0.0,0.0,0.0631505990764581,0.0,0.08688169992494693,0.05100947121358984,0.0,0.06812405980497392,0.08027935021054146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172586118852701,0.0,0.1044824696568134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236900381637445,0.0,0.03999260436329017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727782311863308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264732400644519,0.0,0.08990256350748715,0.0,0.2530366960265257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407385712604609,0.0,0.0,0.05301544058749552,0.0,0.07933832896354699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928817167769224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0434683215668079,0.25789061005874153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175916686604982,0.0,0.0,0.07927356428414807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484121934777144,0.10559251428056968,0.0,0.0,0.0861572026326197,0.0,0.0,0.07970874971777762,0.16781373469664987,0.0,0.1852692702480828,0.0,0.0,0.058143628944774,0.058647640875177875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422492051484655,0.0,0.0,0.09004972200434375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046501363768203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658121481639213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067002365589944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959875891976392,0.0,0.1504741469249228,0.0,0.0,0.16009590801816762,0.06302815275614211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430431567380499,0.0,0.06612662404124213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454572086842108,0.0,0.11893858579054738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05254693518178763,0.2027224941697412,0.07771003917714951,0.12558454885463322,0.13836208531094998,0.0,0.2998897156208359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08234026406055417,0.1902821211255008,0.0,0.17422304661852825,0.0,0.046652042106592816,0.0,0.06344491415575462,0.0,0.07111554085913946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855959540795104,0.0,0.0,0.05093432673187941
mentalhealth,Eduardeinstein,2019/04/02,"Pretending you're someone else Does anyone else constantly pretend they're someone else? I can't help it! I usually choose a historical figure and pretend i am them. I also dress differently, trying to copy their way of dressing as much as i can. I feel a very strong disgust with being myself. So I play a role all the time. Does anyone have similar experiences? Does anyone have any idea what might be wrong with me if anything? (Don't worry i plan to tell my psychiatrist about it soon.) ",2.971612903225811,5.675207720430112,4.4047419354838695,80.04711290322581,79.32258064516128,7.160860215053764,25.429032258064517,8.238735603445708,2.0102825806451623,390,15,69,8,10,129,69,93,0.14300000000000002,0.748,0.109,-0.4725,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,2,4,4,1,0,4,0,9,0,0,0,1,10,10,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,13,2,8,7,2,6,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,44,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245691510483024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263634501292327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474440289883607,0.1697109214377968,0.13630211868860606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899078868917584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17305157782803196,0.0,0.0,0.4348405329029211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150961837939653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620211804407233,0.0,0.0,0.08374918897053975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102053049073568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869798699464804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571078956616262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175955643435403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806811680206151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447708320379429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658212740037864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245415941539144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18242171379655905,0.13666484475113785,0.0,0.13147202869556546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682086878488753,0.0,0.0,0.18109404609193616,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,halfblackjesus,2019/04/02,"I feel like I’m going crazy I’m hoping I’m in a good place to ask for some advice, my life has been pretty backwards for about a year and things just don’t seem to be working out.

I’m 23, growing up I had a lot of things going for me. I was smart, made friends easily, good at sports, decent with girls, always happy, etc. I’m definitely not bragging especially because as you get older a lot of that means nothing, especially if you lose all those things.

The real problems started literally the last week of my senior year of college. I ended up finding out my girlfriend of ~8 months cheated on me with her ex in the first month of our relationship when she was back home. 

This crushed me, we had a near perfect relationship and she was perfect in every other way. I still struggle with the whole thing, I couldn’t believe someone like her could do something like that and not tell me until I found out on my own.

We split, I graduated, I had a really hard time finding a job despite doing well in school and my extracurriculars. I think self confidence played a huge role in this.

I feel like I lost my ‘swagger’ ever since I was cheated on. I ended up seeing a doctor in Nov 18 about depression and anxiety. I was prescribed Zoloft and began seeing him once a month. After 2 months I felt great. 

I took a week long break after 2 months because I ran out of medicine before I could refill, I was miserable. 

I still find my self in dark places though as time has gone on. Everyone has mood swings and ups and downs but I don’t think that’s what’s happening to me. I recently went through a 2 week period where I literally did not care if I was alive because I was so stressed about basically nothing. My thought process was “if I die, all of my problems go away”. I absolutely wasn’t thinking straight and didn’t realize how dark these thoughts were and how horrible it was for me to be thinking like that. 

That’s something that has happened to me a couple of times. I feel like my ‘wires get crossed’ and all the sudden I’m completely out of my mind, acting irrationally, and not thinking straight about anything. It’s kind of hard to explain but I seem to go crazy with no control or realization that it’s happening until I come out of this weird mindset like a week or 2 later.

I’m wondering if I should talk to my doctor and maybe try different medicine or therapy. There’s times when I’m completely in control of my anxiety and can face my problems with a clear mind, and then there’s times when I literally see no end to my problems (usually not that big of a deal) and worry about myself.",5.127774841437628,5.701044571705433,5.875623678646934,80.78734672304441,68.39922480620154,8.890204369274137,31.527836504580694,8.927757054556999,2.48360542635659,2053,82,409,34,33,672,239,516,0.142,0.742,0.116,-0.9549,2,0,2,0,0,0,45.0,3,2,0,8,21,34,2,3,21,0,33,5,1,5,7,93,82,37,1,13,15,1,6,7,2,1,4,0,1,3,22,30,0,2,21,2,0,12,12,13,1,1,29,9,66,20,70,47,9,91,0,4,3,0,24,34,0,14,50,271,88,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629621261088644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05361251862598174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858048424516637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302197986093655,0.0,0.060235147139701885,0.0,0.060535909416717375,0.04954416901378944,0.0,0.11783130042584455,0.0,0.05482681792947024,0.0725927092367259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569263617654876,0.0,0.0,0.05550239352814301,0.13511128362706218,0.0,0.14453175313787725,0.10288728982699594,0.0712926935031803,0.0,0.0,0.06642647989331435,0.05549511792326668,0.0,0.06687016003828444,0.06731764232853571,0.0,0.1318975998134876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120266902909395,0.0,0.07185862214307942,0.0,0.058282360059252684,0.054286671174039854,0.06156746033019464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773614351022396,0.1380905286712244,0.06186474707334126,0.0,0.17666882164689174,0.05480575788169072,0.0,0.07064627414963001,0.04977994123904123,0.0,0.06732603730474135,0.0,0.14647257893128968,0.10808487438792228,0.0,0.07103641880420562,0.0,0.0,0.17093080109098602,0.06858897650209432,0.11543668845404162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646304687987121,0.06399543433107972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06393873817719982,0.0,0.0,0.06709592919410483,0.0,0.0525206140733707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045510170279257696,0.22034726928178688,0.0,0.0,0.05702022127611898,0.0,0.07208283696591314,0.07033505147006522,0.10955542784334113,0.0,0.0609670402074657,0.0,0.0,0.0647305234590847,0.07018524928966309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011574260516112,0.0,0.2571447174713368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236483291555028,0.0,0.0,0.06861789152483731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13463528465707142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555042590847425,0.0,0.2466105812780168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333763042708483,0.04127673755805058,0.0,0.06361874746288029,0.13835153731736424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520854247335962,0.15403169363516375,0.11731279938822955,0.1344330884078337,0.0,0.0,0.053298749699610216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545929563726483,0.09920567910655964,0.0,0.0,0.045605244309661744,0.0,0.1029108284171462,0.0,0.07380654618885643,0.06735823201705825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051787936322562164,0.05631633766679301,0.0,0.07368351533989585,0.0,0.1712228174755165,0.2064268621074446,0.06330403385094081,0.10230349406626622,0.1878538522812178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158623341377482,0.04374504397413935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096265654693179,0.0,0.0,0.051143058705480436,0.2067335976619564,0.0,0.05793203366700533,0.059729034968623675,0.0,0.07193593721719893,0.0,0.0,0.06987366830539014,0.0469072048364138,0.06543374193568699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298408745514795
mentalhealth,simonday38,2019/04/02,"38 and just discovered I’m Autistic Not going to lie, my autism knowledge was pretty low until I discovered this.
It was pretty scary but I’m trying to see it as a positive.

I’m blogging about my experiences a) because I find writing great therapy b) to share my thoughts as I learn about autism and c) to try and improve the knowledge of non autistic people.

It’s in it’s early days so all ideas on how 
to improve it etc are greatly appreciated
 [Adult Autism Adventure ](https://adultautism.home.blog/)",3.731290322580648,6.623570784946242,4.531623655913978,79.13743548387096,77.70967741935483,7.160860215053764,29.730107526881717,8.238735603445708,2.603293333333333,405,19,68,8,10,130,62,93,0.033,0.665,0.302,0.9854,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,1,15,9,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,1,6,4,13,6,2,7,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,41,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352087421190182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304425986783556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24736841251665986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169654004526352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20272346193411026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605546922160052,0.0,0.0,0.4890760670438848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224859869301663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503880187094547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376992233896827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513057532465324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767478714705291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536504830552529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608640527291994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30117866890929496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,erektus99,2019/04/02,"im about to commit suicide so basicly im miserable man and for few months i had girlfriend which i loved the most
she was the most precious person in my world
but she decided to leave me (idk why, just because)
anyway, she broke up with me and i want to die
i have nothing in this life left for me.
no friends, my family hates me, i want to die
help me out reddit",0.0973881673881678,2.274942259740264,1.9986147186147207,95.97189033189034,87.44155844155844,4.9806637806637815,20.243867243867246,6.42735559955562,0.10743694083694112,282,9,64,3,9,93,53,77,0.275,0.5529999999999999,0.172,-0.9214,0,0,0,0,0,4,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,12,7,4,3,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,15,3,12,5,3,7,0,2,0,1,9,6,0,2,1,44,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117998833588396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4466738523026688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286532350876274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625799989048062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21245907509622056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423969785193186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648919143279008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278588938032161,0.2338084174633779,0.0,0.15199756562529665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19422057705388227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176543541460634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064840112654745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18789870403475456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353868120852953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538534579006291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941787041219654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_Curb_Stomp_Roos,2019/04/02,"My Thoughts I have an IQ around 140 (a tad above average) and my brain tends to explore every option there is in life. Recently a friend has had a baby that I got to hold. A few days later I analyzed the situation. I had a few homicidal thoughts that I won't go into detail over but, I have heard that it is just my ""dark side of my mind speaking"". Never in a million years would I actually do what I imagine but, still it is disturbing to experience and I would like to hear what the people here think. P.S - Don't be worried for my mental health, I want to discuss with you all my experience and turn it into a learning session.",3.7115798611111117,4.627644984375003,5.444166666666668,81.36194444444446,71.8125,8.501388888888886,29.065972222222214,8.841846274778883,2.2085024305555554,490,19,101,9,9,168,83,128,0.038,0.885,0.077,0.3983,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,10,0,14,3,1,0,2,24,24,5,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,3,2,3,0,0,8,7,0,1,6,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,6,3,17,2,14,14,3,15,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,7,77,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.1893690918200008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727495488942011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21662887672242706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514902773985262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349919295331608,0.0,0.0,0.3796448587999665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499259402322469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028558174197313,0.0,0.155203022776031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20627074202762494,0.2187134008144305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370663544274361,0.09480517281920434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955611828981571,0.0,0.1959396150692556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496667085328358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453288020179902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916052990896199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181252647615981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549720864115793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434221744873672,0.0,0.3081150189245275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110754520456512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445830691464386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19707165252594055,0.0,0.2757013417266177,0.0,0.0,0.12496466474603338
mentalhealth,cryosleeping,2019/04/02,"too depressed to leave bed today Yesterday was a bad mental health day for me. Today too. Every time i think i’m over my struggle to accept myself as I am it turns out I’m not. Really wish i could afford therapy, not that it would help me much",0.4594117647058837,2.7389579803921578,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,86.84313725490196,5.752941176470588,16.34313725490196,7.1686216300943375,0.2011019607843143,191,4,39,3,6,66,40,51,0.228,0.6779999999999999,0.095,-0.7561,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,9,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,7,1,6,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,26,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19888809118297016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19018431274536546,0.0,0.0,0.1536200981168141,0.0,0.20516238459981687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006948237402097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25319678627292475,0.0,0.0,0.1596612744847945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522207265344025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400508309749215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751053239890117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525978180210342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24901966191252195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724038848558296,0.0,0.0,0.15262974063404947,0.0,0.0,0.13889706241751418,0.0,0.4515738591465996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590945550188899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739196779238375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921133120993986,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mzmagz,2019/04/02,"Doctor wants to me to quit lexapro and get more sunshine My OBGYN (does not prescribe my meds) in every appointment mentions that my lexapro probably doesn’t even work anymore since I’ve been on it for 10 years and I just need to go on vacations to treat my anxiety. He basically double downed on wanting me to quit when I mentioned I want to try to get pregnant soon. Keep in mind this is after I mentioned I talked to my prescribing doctor about weaning off and being off of the meds during the pregnancy.

I feel like I have little to no education on lexapro and I’m wondering is what my OB is saying is true or if he’s of the mindset that meds for mental health aren’t needed? My prescribing doctor said I could be on it forever. Ideally I would talk to my prescribing doc but my next appointment isn’t for months.

Wondering if anyone had guidance?",6.154850299401198,6.439828227544915,6.7505449101796415,76.40905089820359,66.125748502994,10.272814371257486,34.065269461077854,10.125756701596842,3.4207729341317368,682,29,127,15,10,224,101,167,0.018000000000000002,0.912,0.071,0.7465,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,5,5,0,0,3,0,14,4,0,0,1,24,28,9,0,10,6,0,1,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,4,20,5,27,21,2,18,0,0,1,0,9,11,0,5,7,86,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157123310911896,0.0,0.13167546490370707,0.0928381986248642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060086991761323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40769738431811137,0.11619083476934805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769553145187453,0.0,0.11186725597377767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671341844292744,0.09485329261820324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873716855328647,0.0,0.07545814251492343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113183974488466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801503519607545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648663418077689,0.13307375625437018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4424437100498064,0.0,0.13380428680188902,0.0,0.1340632126582697,0.0,0.10597840431014252,0.0,0.0,0.19689948186870848,0.0,0.0,0.14120594145061738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431521049716844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28244155712425906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629784046732706,0.10558668018641458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983146961827056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21343634463703048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014437477940936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23493944807914074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28797402268731626,0.09666056468311962,0.0,0.0,0.09431836332076514,0.0,0.0,0.08550167059731836
mentalhealth,msburgundy,2019/04/02,"Am I regressing or is this a mid-life crisis (and what difference does it make)? 38 F high functioning with major depressive disorder and anxiety. Have a few suicide attempts and self harm under my belt but have not acted on any impulses for about 10 years. Taking 300mg Effexor daily and at least .5 mg xanax. Medication has really evened me out but it's never perfect. I am a successful insurance professional and am the bread winner for my family. Lately the urge to say ""eff it all"" with relation to everything other than my husband and children is incredibly strong. My career, which I've been in for 15 years and always loved, has become dull and boring and all I want to do is walk out. Say screw it, take what's owed to me and be on my way. Obviously terrible for long term planning but I feel like I am taking actions to potentially move that long. Missing deadlines, half-assing a lot of work. I'm incredibly valued (not to toot my own horn but it's true) so there have been no repercussions...yet. It's not uncommon for me to be short sighted but I am strong enough to realize how detrimental this could be to those I love. Ugh- just want to crowd source and see if this will pass....",3.4942241379310346,5.522791008620693,4.955551724137933,80.1946206896552,74.25862068965517,8.950344827586207,25.82413793103448,9.516144504307137,2.4574510344827583,942,33,180,25,20,315,149,232,0.159,0.7020000000000001,0.138,0.0934,1,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,0,7,6,16,1,0,6,0,21,6,0,2,6,40,34,20,1,4,11,1,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,2,15,15,1,0,2,0,1,5,5,8,0,0,2,5,16,8,27,27,9,22,0,3,2,3,8,9,1,3,8,120,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229216577445352,0.0,0.0,0.10811844715153164,0.0,0.12162668438381577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755916311033598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694033735696322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693759457925864,0.0,0.0,0.16611039598046748,0.18221596901001572,0.0,0.13913295680482227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642788594530911,0.0,0.10501119656890864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428896895380009,0.0,0.14988133827793024,0.0,0.08038996880319613,0.11358227256772545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798134588890692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17934730531448842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767433593831119,0.0,0.0,0.28140176059181443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516735636738672,0.2869888210213545,0.0,0.1061268585030916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16016539494443052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689808884953098,0.0,0.0,0.12262265709414864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018528721948893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25286997967961033,0.0,0.0,0.12669420545265286,0.0,0.16586093018023396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390892538022076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35862140088487177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875524872292087,0.12619862252095665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574639426150388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20476830664952086
mentalhealth,AriaoftheStars17,2019/04/02,"Catchy Name for Mental Health Night? Hey guys! I need your help.

My university club is planning to host a mental health open-mic night, where participants are encouraged to present stories or poems or anything they want relating to mental health, so we can reduce the stigma and actually start some conversations.

We need a catchy name for the event. We really liked Shatter the Stigma, but there's an organization in our community with the same name and we don't want people to think that org is running our event.

Do you guys have any ideas?",6.432034632034628,8.061659909090912,6.255007215007215,75.40727272727275,66.07070707070707,9.293506493506491,28.284271284271284,9.606745405546679,2.539584704184704,437,14,77,9,7,137,70,99,0.0,0.908,0.092,0.7094,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,6,2,1,1,3,2,0,0,7,0,7,3,0,0,0,21,13,6,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,7,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,11,2,8,13,2,9,0,0,0,0,18,2,0,3,7,44,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.1621903952929482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302390823731245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677111196607766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291346926285733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.529998842978505,0.0,0.0,0.11140253396186617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18762323706997872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119851189854513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5024813487782481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464752054110573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119409793388509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522440547250933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064740567770798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176395146329207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649633055631688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19606196412129567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Reddituser1618033,2019/04/02,"Grew up without a mom I’m mid20’s, mom left home when I was 3. Met her a few times after that. She was a drug addict, a whore & attempted to pimp me out to her dealer & attempted to engage me in sex for her bf to watch when I was 12-13. My dad was a little abusive. I spent the vast majority of my childhood alone in my room. My dad mostly just handled me sexually he hit my brother more than he hit me. I’ve managed to forgive him kind of. Most of my life can be described as living in a box & only taken out to be humiliated by family or to be hit/hurt/taken advantage of. I’m completely estranged from my family. I miss my brother and worry about him. Hard time making friends because I can’t relate to others. I’m angry a lot & barely functional. I know I have it in me to be a good wife & mom but I don’t see my life going in that direction the way things are. Are there other women out there like me? I have a strange relationship with my femininity where I violently reject any part of me that’s ‘girlie’ but desire to be like other women. I’m so broke I can’t even afford clothes at the local second hand store and if I could I wouldn’t know what to get. I dream one day I could meet another lady to be friends with & could show me how to dress & wear make up. Because I was sexually handled by a plethora of men in my childhood I feel like people only talk to me because they want sex or they need something from me. I don’t know how to make friends. Literally. Especially ladies because I’m weird & crass & abrasive. Sometimes I get the impression other people might want to be my friend but I just get confused or scared & I act cold till they lose interest. There’s this lady I work with who I like a lot but I’m not sure what I can offer her. Is this fixable? Is there anyone out there who used to be like me but got better? How does one get over a lifetime that’s only shown you that you are retarded unwanted inconvenient trash? I don’t want to kill my self because of my beliefs & principals but fuck man I’m really running out of other options here. ",1.5644628006920769,3.4760777139588086,3.769117597812137,87.02390802031593,79.64073226544622,6.5517441535971415,23.015515990400186,7.590005382236693,1.0127594909862143,1639,54,348,25,41,563,212,437,0.147,0.7190000000000001,0.134,-0.8352,1,2,2,0,1,0,54.0,0,2,3,6,17,29,3,2,16,0,32,10,2,7,1,55,65,20,1,11,14,8,3,5,5,2,4,0,2,5,18,10,0,0,6,2,2,4,8,11,0,3,9,6,62,18,55,41,8,35,1,4,2,4,40,21,1,11,14,222,80,2,0.0,0.07407976170040134,0.0,0.06815951085455292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475517356858211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7451824071755514,0.0,0.04251791632124202,0.06556102100740273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043717671382025584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19056779546151734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05529668470617953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555437995608585,0.0,0.0,0.14975904992334516,0.0,0.0,0.04032228808466008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547144689070815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250705590397785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04129598034508123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788260684294392,0.0,0.031613605787836445,0.04466658269557509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193221060126002,0.057801685897272616,0.13066315445851087,0.0,0.035533372323339835,0.052441489214839265,0.050005510302437065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05600850153031068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271586198626138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693237292571291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917265121291473,0.06510828581923109,0.1030833378433362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793163384380907,0.0,0.08832396271468965,0.15272837349876658,0.06266466639457413,0.055209126285859375,0.0,0.0,0.06994746191323424,0.0,0.10630996835049594,0.0,0.0,0.12520415363383666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066327228983294,0.0,0.2196792294777112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04636015654725277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847346695111253,0.14265512062712904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770652688157305,0.0,0.08669142142489951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04005395944126925,0.0,0.0,0.0671265123188756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06259662502691238,0.0,0.049822891169278384,0.0,0.06522532774155415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04813340978910175,0.06183703814650264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589273709533048,0.0,0.0,0.050253775461146316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04153763228585501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291555510729117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539999656025594,0.0,0.0,0.11063340023755616,0.049628001636777413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027012842283424,0.0,0.0455176302966944,0.06349533903682537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,beet__sugar,2019/04/02,"Likelihood of late-onset manic depression? I'm a 27-year-old male who is concerned that I'm developing manic depression. I've always exhibited patterns of depression and anxiety, and have been on a low dose of Zoloft for about two years to alleviate symptoms.

As I get older, the differences in mood and energy become more drastic and noticeable. I've always heard of manic depression having an average onset of 19-22. Any insight would be appreciated.",6.961541666666669,9.100962737500002,8.490000000000002,57.94166666666669,65.375,12.333333333333336,37.083333333333336,11.855464076750405,5.7363333333333335,369,19,51,14,6,128,59,80,0.21600000000000005,0.721,0.063,-0.9217,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,4,0,6,3,0,0,0,6,10,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,1,1,0,11,6,1,5,0,5,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,30,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255029159965485,0.0,0.0,0.13301191954496766,0.0,0.149630328440692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21602030480844608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6738658496391371,0.0,0.0,0.20435608545848102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219078503880123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22064069521516005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22268722901257085,0.20524499470363025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032990328539928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19106877350026505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894571572753273,0.0,0.0,0.2519146939953021
mentalhealth,gala-frey,2019/04/02,"How can I make christian parents take their daughter to a psychologist? My youngest sister has a friend who has depression, and cuts herself, and probably uses drugs to “escape”. Her parents are christians (that’s not bad, at all) but they’re fanatic to a point they’re almost ignorants, and completely oblivious to their daughter’s well-being.

She’s only two years younger than me, so we briefly went to the same high school (and she’s my best friend’s cousin so I see her a lot) and she used to say she hated her dad (he made her wear skirts, when the uniform in our school was black trousers for boys and girls, which meant boys were always trying to see her underwear and she couldn’t do PE) (he also used to tell her things that affected her self-steem). And her mom is submissive to her husband because he’s the “man”, and doesn’t have an opinion on anything. 

I recently saw the fresh cuts on her arms, and told her parents about my concerns on their daughter’s mental health, and suggested them to let her go to the school’s psychologist, and they declined because he wasn’t a christian psychologist and could divert their daughter from the “truth”. And then added that they were praying for her in their church and at home, and that God was going to cure her.

I really want her to seek professional help, she’s only 16! She has a lot to live, and experience! But I’m afraid she’ll end up kill herself, or abusing drugs or alcohol if things doesn’t change at home. I’ll really appreciate any suggestions, and advice, I really want the best for her.



Ps. I’m not against her parents being religious, I’m against them putting religion as a priority instead of their daughter. No matter how many times God “cures” her, it won’t be a difference if they keep being shitty parents.",5.836803519061582,6.654648501466276,5.853826979472142,80.70074046920823,66.91788856304986,9.249853372434018,31.922287390029325,9.339509955726095,2.7327876832844575,1413,56,270,26,22,445,179,341,0.099,0.778,0.124,0.7029,5,0,3,0,0,0,43.0,2,0,11,2,8,13,4,1,16,0,23,6,2,8,2,50,44,32,1,6,8,15,0,0,2,2,4,1,2,4,9,19,1,2,1,0,0,4,8,8,0,1,10,5,50,5,33,26,6,21,5,1,4,0,73,11,0,8,6,172,59,4,0.0,0.1088256169472148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975342613443997,0.0,0.0981582611736278,0.0919731435481575,0.0,0.0,0.07345132270400619,0.0764254247396019,0.0,0.0,0.0624602235315256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558360314456296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668977629273377,0.1119801545541846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927789581491072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971636804142578,0.0,0.09630154955364176,0.0,0.0,0.07333366373058264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910909740779383,0.0,0.0,0.09596227782765793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21303052036501988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135063123584907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984559243295867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14192405991023274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043993953690484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906815146407734,0.0,0.0976308072635993,0.0,0.0,0.061564206031759036,0.09704312899206312,0.18426334578757952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163928973265258,0.10161690954898372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392145539214908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110403018673304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617285514727733,0.0,0.08690940217671281,0.06130967914764195,0.0931201028188889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256182417385424,0.0,0.0,0.10757201485558224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397100562653183,0.0,0.0,0.5099352152788948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682665110730453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902836663316167,0.0,0.0,0.09233325005385884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17652176845560358,0.0,0.09068944942078934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730417235509521,0.0,0.27886717596373445,0.14638294576374927,0.0,0.09581816098121247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690587451466205,0.0,0.08027975809138145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204030780542402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355767950287976,0.0,0.0,0.08776530979078867,0.0,0.06235919616647075,0.0,0.08972277329391043,0.0,0.0,0.2379831996055841,0.0,0.0,0.1083494129342388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825829562292593,0.08514460771017376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059147511560056064
mentalhealth,ALISA241,2019/04/02,Steps to good mental health The foods you eat and what you drink can have a direct effect on your energy levels and mood. Researchers think that eating healthier foods can have a positive effect on your mood.1    [Steps to good mental health](https://rifjad.blogspot.com/2019/04/steps-to-good-mental-health.html) ,9.984375000000004,13.460285354166668,5.315000000000001,78.33000000000001,60.04166666666666,8.133333333333335,22.416666666666664,8.841846274778883,1.7105666666666668,259,5,35,4,4,66,31,48,0.0,0.763,0.237,0.8885,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,0,2,0,3,0,0,3,0,4,6,0,2,0,5,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,4,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,19,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609445550936114,0.0,0.3362254303920399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973274019011826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134034233433417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5239072055405105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4967059886304607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527229574412728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ZenDragora,2019/04/02,"I just need to know Im not alone in this... Does anyone else get almost crippling levels of anxiety over thinking youre in trouble, or going to be, or think someone will have a negative reaction to what youve done? Even if its just over something small like forgetting something at work you were supposed to bring them? And then forgetting you forgot the item, and upon discovering you forgot, you have to then confront them about it. Im freaking out while at work trying to keep my composure while having to deal with customers. I keep shaking or letting my leg bounce, tapping or picking at things. Im mostly anxious about the fact that the person I had to tell that I forgot something to usually gets very upset over small things not being done right and takes things very personal.

Tldr: Im freaking out and having many small anxiety attacks because of fear of being judged because I forgot to do something.",8.295150326797383,7.950757247058824,7.741372549019609,73.20395424836603,61.82352941176471,9.908496732026144,37.12418300653594,9.150863307647796,3.4591045751633978,732,31,121,10,9,230,100,170,0.16899999999999998,0.807,0.024,-0.9716,0,1,4,0,0,0,16.0,0,5,2,2,5,9,2,3,4,0,14,1,1,1,1,32,29,13,0,2,9,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,9,7,0,6,3,0,0,3,3,8,0,0,8,0,14,1,27,16,2,24,0,0,0,0,11,16,0,7,6,89,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778383070186338,0.12182338913076375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799646650412514,0.1328820745227203,0.0,0.08224570484739374,0.1205200825692116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381471866731928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434054666085489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126557599513813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293389191044387,0.2407411681985441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826008037899436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768979690537116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236013457369702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290777271868253,0.0,0.06684864861168069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5082180806879769,0.0,0.0,0.20909991568258746,0.0,0.0,0.06464328581502764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202789028885282,0.0,0.05746533304043545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925266444347647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721699101366122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054101518766081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045058204292308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996627596470448,0.3622119925116371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884388989332922,0.0,0.1028088969349058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344332442953449,0.15073791279942667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985923630119326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954664215429768,0.19410487238150545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17126390625983334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mokero99,2019/04/02,Suicide You should always leave mental health battles like the issue of suicide to the individual. Suicide prevention is a non-important matter in the great scheme of things. Those who succumb to their weakenss may be remembered and celebrated after their deaths by family and friends but the attempt to prevent this is a moot decision and a clear fault of society. I say this as a person who contemplates suicide daily.,9.890068493150686,10.285766191780825,9.308321917808216,60.83179794520548,58.31506849315069,12.231506849315071,42.90753424657535,11.698219412168324,5.609961643835615,344,18,48,9,4,110,54,73,0.237,0.601,0.162,-0.8641,0,0,0,0,0,4,5.0,0,1,2,1,0,5,1,0,8,0,5,1,0,0,1,12,5,5,5,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,1,6,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,3,10,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,2,37,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128399435720216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139826384690526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046921395443146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20045081740150206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932600119067704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18976680696068307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925150051495156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882524321073641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322596876263889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875316241146212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596006663171126,0.0,0.0,0.14458596378328895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7955009801787966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078928772913974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,radiscool299,2019/04/02,"Shaking/rocking myself to self to sleep So for the past couple of months I’ve been shaking/rocking myself to sleep. I mostly say it’s shaking because I lay one side and just shake. I don’t even think about doing I just do. 

I’m ik that mental health can have something to do with it. Also lack of contact as an infant and I was born premature so...maybe that’s why. I also suffer from ptsd and depression. (I am diagnosed) 

Other stuff It’s weird that it just started I read lots of story’s where it starts young. I’m 14 about to be 15 in two days. What do you guys think it is? ",-0.4688138862102207,1.7643532950819676,1.6202989392478315,96.22793153326906,93.91803278688525,3.854194792671168,17.012536162005787,5.5289334501034215,-0.5502580520732883,450,12,98,3,17,149,79,122,0.13,0.87,0.0,-0.9118,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,2,2,0,12,4,2,0,0,12,18,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,12,4,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,5,0,2,2,1,11,0,15,15,3,12,0,2,0,0,6,3,0,2,7,68,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296719746825326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309096244146424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20527379297811552,0.0,0.11964472686196978,0.0,0.15978766950877765,0.18829838263521745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253387700893335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18369346773943854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19719854828446373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772204071473098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18637926860362572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18696001667141102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807989123674364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571281133789025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709935028912166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21686236226615546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855696995697009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753254891720194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19353729395851305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713069506407316,0.0,0.0,0.14282197119025147,0.0,0.0,0.2626233073581454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21237543703626496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377468033549627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812255899292551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740248885036926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ElsaWinchester,2019/04/02,"Masters Questionnaire Hi hope this is okay to post, please delete if not:  
Dear any women who have a diagnosis of anxiety, social anxiety/phobia, OCD or specific phobia I would be grateful if you could complete this questionnaire for my Masters Dissertation. It is of course anonymous and confidential and takes around 20 minutes. Thank you

[http://nclpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_882JeCAsJ7wOzid](http://nclpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_882JeCAsJ7wOzid)",12.899270833333333,17.623221218750004,8.298125000000002,54.56770833333337,55.5625,11.141666666666666,37.22916666666666,10.864195022040775,5.482372916666666,394,17,43,11,6,107,52,64,0.098,0.711,0.191,0.7283,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,10,9,5,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,5,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,4,0,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21899818799459986,0.0,0.24635965641011726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28668380414817496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376527277824264,0.0,0.0,0.25712267052481746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198583032806325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535031240556402,0.0,0.0,0.30842522214231505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328279141760186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421339405655079,0.0,0.0,0.2964910897915454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228767918529702,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,howdoistopobsessing,2019/04/02,"Why am I so work-averse? I became lazy starting senior year of high school and it persisted ever since. I've fixed my diet, mostly (no fast food or non-fruit sugar). I just find working to be incredibly boring and tiring. I spend a lot of my time on Reddit comparing economic systems, looking at memes, etc.",3.6293220338983048,5.609837355932207,5.212000000000003,78.71223728813561,73.74576271186443,7.4318644067796615,25.359322033898305,8.238735603445708,1.84067186440678,240,8,42,4,5,81,52,59,0.099,0.901,0.0,-0.6549,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,8,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,5,3,3,10,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,6,25,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967628875942818,0.0,0.2406954231957705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432032422192316,0.0,0.3217594693916994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811407784286897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234502399396449,0.0,0.0,0.2262218794961132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692992821609825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22011402938574856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834126771635207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551603690304069,0.30583357869938266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401066172390747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3874362502669072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713545061338047
mentalhealth,F-R-O-W-N,2019/04/02,Dont feel sane anymore I fell inlove with this girl and I think im starting to be obssesed at her and im always anxious everytime she's not messaging me or hanging out with me,-0.6628070175438552,1.4995949999999991,2.09578947368421,91.31719298245615,99.0,5.691228070175438,24.75438596491228,7.1686216300943375,1.5191964912280702,142,7,30,3,6,49,31,38,0.061,0.939,0.0,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,5,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,5,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610465272846187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544229322868375,0.31113351608854145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676864555969349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863012039860055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6777593706509435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22205803715467234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20102400287269656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,memespaghettiii,2019/04/02,"Made the stupid decision of giving up on my online therapy and feel lost I started speaking with her in July last year on one of those mental health sites that randomly matches you up with the next available counsellor for a one off chat. She was really great straight away and I contacted the service to organise a regular chat once a week, as they stated that they do this in some circumstances if requested.

She helped a lot, it felt almost like I was talking to a friend and I definitely noticed an improvement in myself. My parents don't allow me to do therapy, so sneakily doing it online has been my only option. 

Recently things have gone really downhill, and in February I made the stupid decision to end our online sessions as I felt hopeless and that was it, closed my account to never talk again. I believe things would be better now if I still spoke to her, I feel so low that I don't even have the motivation to go through the process of trying to find another.

If you're ever in a similar situation and feel like giving up, stick it out. Trust me, it'll benefit you in the long run.",8.56542452830189,7.016352240566037,8.930830188679248,68.79247169811322,61.97169811320755,12.819622641509435,38.65283018867925,11.792908689023552,4.5954890566037765,873,37,158,23,10,292,127,212,0.073,0.7659999999999999,0.161,0.957,1,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,1,2,2,3,7,12,2,0,14,0,15,1,0,4,2,33,29,13,0,4,3,1,5,2,1,2,1,2,0,0,13,10,0,0,9,2,1,3,3,5,0,2,11,7,26,7,31,15,2,35,0,3,0,0,22,18,0,8,15,119,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484326175185848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120350868894074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651818142591786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171652075445136,0.0,0.11909646584816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192694305992792,0.0,0.0,0.08894213710943565,0.12180833285492665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20426552199579706,0.09620164696714796,0.2585908221916306,0.0,0.12307746066090583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403854006219483,0.0,0.0,0.2583576706293126,0.07653079178006618,0.0,0.0,0.1484639218063195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313805085935327,0.0,0.0,0.0902602436779724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976646165821573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157685394768828,0.0,0.0,0.11917050177106585,0.0,0.0,0.14699808573510187,0.11448373064541875,0.0,0.25483846293186296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570633560838608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385865066144943,0.0,0.1432132059323907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331212494276292,0.0,0.14340927447281218,0.18249918104871665,0.10241554740643956,0.0,0.0,0.14952479616908734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17253421386933954,0.0,0.13296121774913944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15136429400624396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531355238795998,0.0,0.10754022683250897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164703755659576,0.0,0.0,0.3079925436553508,0.0,0.17892520071435394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142579112682027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080167088751337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565911356631322,0.0,0.0,0.08671709018065296
mentalhealth,anonymousdude123_,2019/04/02,"Need Advice I’m new to this page so I don’t really know how it works, I was wondering if I could get any advice from someone. I’ve been struggling with depression for about 4 years now. I’ve just been dumped from a 3 year relationship and feel worse than ever. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with something like this? Anything helps, thank you.",2.41509054325956,4.718729422535212,3.1572635814889334,90.49211267605637,78.71830985915494,6.310663983903421,20.00201207243461,7.447530270364453,0.5184913480885309,283,7,58,4,7,89,56,71,0.166,0.731,0.103,-0.6908,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,7,5,1,1,1,0,6,0,0,2,1,13,13,5,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,4,2,10,9,1,6,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,6,32,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5554547875540574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25769735066763355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248448027635046,0.0,0.15592078592575562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127940463248524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953391589376993,0.16319349870247166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580979150073313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138989169926544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958036418697486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899223564788052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700028829013982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412984046340633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092567323678432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049241534438858,0.0,0.1829949682051056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138176238198138,0.0,0.0,0.20342394313771012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605405283989608,0.14586618130030604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807914570928292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17444201030952075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054762441211405,0.13793917659914515,0.0,0.19308998040866016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440298187520333
mentalhealth,Manolo_Ribera,2019/04/02,"Committing yourself - Voluntary detention for food addicts Hi,

This post comes out of ignorance and curiosity. It is something that I have been wondering for a long time, and cannot find any information on when googling.

First a preamble, so that you don't get the wrong idea of me. I do not feel mental health is something to be stigmatized, I have my own mental health issues (anxiety depression/existential dread), and I have lost one brother due to a physical illness that could have been treated better if it weren't also for his mental illness. Another brother of mine got himself committed because he was close to a nervous breakdown, also due to existential dread. He came out a changed man, and I therefore see committing yourself as something positive and brave. I even have a form already pre-signed from my doctor which I could use to commit myself, if I ever needed it.

My question is now: Are there ways to commit yourself if you are suffering from an eating disorder and need help controlling your eating? What is the legal situation on voluntary detention in the USA? Are there even mental health clinics that do voluntary detention? And if yes, would they take and help food addicts?

This curiosity was spawned from years watching a certain youtuber who is struggling with food addiction, and whose biggest problem is not being able to stick to a diet due to his mental illness. 

I am very worried that people reading this post will think I am a bully, trying to shame said youtuber, wanting to ""throw him into a mental hospital"" or shaming him by suggesting that. I am earnestly, honestly, just curious about whether that is something that is done/possible, or whether that is an ""untapped market"" in mental health care, so to speak.

",8.98020994893134,9.126292604501607,8.466892377529792,66.94299791942503,60.254019292604504,11.562020049177224,42.08832986570834,11.088447113337141,5.062490296954794,1404,74,215,33,17,446,175,311,0.138,0.7390000000000001,0.123,-0.7782,0,0,4,0,0,0,41.0,0,3,1,4,13,17,0,6,15,1,35,18,0,3,7,52,51,23,0,11,11,2,1,0,0,2,12,2,0,1,19,16,6,2,7,1,0,3,5,11,0,2,9,5,26,6,32,36,2,25,0,2,2,0,24,9,0,8,10,162,45,4,0.07938639725839207,0.0,0.0,0.25962867265196304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760486344245742,0.12697054641204153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398547241126475,0.08324355935291278,0.0607303766125453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048393210930816215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021081710790332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907968896860604,0.08093972283095861,0.0,0.08398028203874952,0.06838435188610052,0.0,0.0,0.08903859488765994,0.12676715696177845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909836889730313,0.08125534148364306,0.0,0.08123984676375466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16246420646227486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486793335644773,0.07180954127723176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014014774819025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725577288883214,0.06752602895342844,0.2879830400409887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041476116014795256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349255397294061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3375361120415004,0.0,0.0,0.10642205737773056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961757955923941,0.0,0.08285877350423955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025446342944225,0.0,0.0,0.08665963040345402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5600197158958721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772801533142105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379427731839593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503653217936581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206044829295778,0.0,0.0,0.0759620608091455,0.0,0.0,0.0889309333599152,0.0,0.07940788034492967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551464309478112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326068042343692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923363667809033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444621083118729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082991899049263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968869097927136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05086759788094977,0.0,0.0,0.04629084664986394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053898152678471964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856435840412459,0.0,0.06550209175427196,0.04682415393362915,0.06301322701107816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609116142974273,0.0,0.08062073992332243,0.0,0.05639381890535197,0.0867965631166284,0.0,0.05112223704913112
mentalhealth,dutchmills,2019/04/02,"Need advice on severe art block Hello. I’m 16 year old art student and i think i’m struggling badly with mental health issues lately. My summer vacation started recently and ever since it did, I just haven’t felt right. I might be even more depressed than i was when i had school which was REALLY bad on its own. I think a lot of this has to do with my life as an artist. I’ve had a horrible artistic block for a while now. It’s been maybe MONTHS since i’ve been confident in my own work. As much as i love creating art I just cant find it in myself to be proud of what i make and i’m just overall very insecure about my abilities. This hinders me from improving. All of this makes me loathe myself even more than I already do. After all, my art and the attention i was getting for it was the only thing i liked about myself. Now there’s really almost nothing i like about myself. I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t know if i should take a break from making art and then come back when I feel like i can create nice things or try and force myself into it everyday until it works. I’ve been doing the latter and i’ve been working really hard yet nothing is really happening. I’m still running dry of creative ideas and my outputs NEVER meet my standards. I’m so frustrated and sad. Does anyone know what I should do?

In addition to this, i’ve developed some kind of anxiety that has to do with time running out. See, i’m an all-around artist. I paint, make music, and a bunch of other stuff. It doesn’t help that i’m an extreme perfectionist as well. Like, I can’t stand not knowing EVERYTHING about my crafts I just feel the need to study them so much. Lately i haven’t been able to do so because i fear that my time is running out and i’ll have wasted my summer learning about things i’m not really good at. Basically, i just can’t find it in myself to do anything cause i feel like time is being wasted no matter what it is that i am doing. Overall, i’m just really confused about my situation and my feelings and how bad i’ve been feeling. ",2.397934272300472,4.058859239436623,4.010446009389672,87.38613849765261,76.32394366197184,7.08075117370892,22.631455399061032,7.8897218956490685,1.0374300469483568,1620,46,339,25,36,541,198,426,0.163,0.7440000000000001,0.092,-0.9864,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,4,28,21,1,4,12,0,45,3,0,6,4,71,79,28,0,5,10,0,7,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,29,21,0,2,17,8,0,4,12,10,1,0,14,8,48,11,46,59,11,45,0,2,1,1,5,13,0,7,31,234,77,6,0.08923994231180142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720423880281303,0.0,0.0,0.08936091154230982,0.0,0.0984784954328143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826831160806465,0.0,0.0,0.062398642596420514,0.0,0.07343686878674323,0.0794424686239709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862000718487728,0.22353487282642084,0.05439984053807595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916740030276824,0.0,0.07687230845710691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686223154858615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809447489441637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788428051000815,0.08072263690414112,0.0,0.0,0.08020310592514915,0.0,0.0,0.10041974528156727,0.2256119809654805,0.1275060652370691,0.08568433931108531,0.0,0.16312738111023534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662418661512744,0.0,0.0,0.07485022965075365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891458626689063,0.0,0.07994145980034584,0.0,0.0,0.09485788562960966,0.0,0.0,0.059815652234350175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074103254691252,0.0,0.09314331450862376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929296673054309,0.19617575387381414,0.0,0.20133308389199853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630328103934585,0.2179906406497308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586860770295695,0.08054253209636933,0.0,0.2382734178105445,0.0,0.08965351671570045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899328723918595,0.09466947632167652,0.0,0.0,0.07123047055456809,0.0,0.13120325135707775,0.13234057293799514,0.0688273449787974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125626292545434,0.0,0.09364230768214044,0.0,0.0,0.06787099743393701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436059038312899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430163529855622,0.0,0.08811367704604554,0.0,0.0,0.07621042313551768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903155859126815,0.07111268008822552,0.0,0.0,0.10081573367264897,0.0,0.1476404049208814,0.10030943416547634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631644904837554,0.0,0.07126713320613752,0.0,0.0,0.0932929637730872,0.10215838347787448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709733057062284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786115701296853,0.11436270336492695,0.0,0.0,0.1561095840318517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06058806296605235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363229837005393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802374254245344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19490322253672407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05746759700236213
mentalhealth,error401s,2019/04/02,"Anyone (specifically with major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, severe anxiety/panic disorder) have experience with ETC, TMS or Ketamine treatment? How was it for you? To clarify a little bit I live in southeast Texas, US. I’ve been on and tried SO MANY different meds for depression and anxiety since I was 12- I’m 18 now and haven’t seen any improvement whatsoever. My psychiatrist is trying out one last different medication, and if there’s no improvement he wants me to try either ETC, TMS, or Ketamine treatment. Hearing this I was so fuckin relieved because I’ve hated being on copious amounts of meds for so long, but it also scared the shit out of me. If anyone can share their experience with any of these, whatever good/bad side effects from it, etc, I’d really love to hear some input. 

One thing I’m worried about is that while the major depression and extreme anxiety/panic is a for sure issue, my therapist was pretty confident I had type 2 Bipolar disorder but couldn’t officially diagnose me. I am on Lamictal though and it has helped a little with stabilizing my mood. I completely forgot the new med he prescribed me, the name is too damn long and complicated, but I’m cross tapering off of Trintellix and onto this new one. 

This could be completely unrelated, I have no idea but I just want to cover all the bases just in case yanno. I have ADD as well and take Adderall (as needed) for that. For anxiety I take Clonazepam (as needed too). 

If I go into one of these treatments I’d really prefer to go into it with some knowledge of the effects/what people experienced, especially any possible side effects either good or bad. And especially with my case- so if someone has/have had something similar and went through one of these treatments, yada yada, I’m really curious on how it turned out for you. 

Before anyone tells me to talk to my doctor about all this- I will the next time I see him, but he can’t provide me with anyone’s personal experience which is what I’m really lookin for ",7.660514083617534,7.661337193633955,8.469784009094354,66.31359858532274,63.0053050397878,12.273790577238856,36.52002020967539,11.765960540728905,4.647937829986106,1610,70,271,48,21,545,191,377,0.11,0.7809999999999999,0.109,0.6283,2,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,1,2,1,2,17,16,4,1,10,0,25,8,1,4,3,60,47,35,0,11,16,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,18,24,0,1,5,0,0,4,5,9,1,5,10,5,29,6,49,32,13,30,0,3,2,2,17,17,3,9,9,186,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061754719872896865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575416261568903,0.0,0.1181498387291365,0.0,0.0,0.21598277109912287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895494533591545,0.04707405408943161,0.0,0.06571056884127914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430685285508452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193241992323382,0.0,0.0,0.06165579725752635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995346020998024,0.0783791034912334,0.0,0.16136192970937185,0.35401421096818797,0.07904039154427185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583701434166697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266149548403927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777453119389161,0.12954095910335464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624112579780025,0.0,0.0,0.17407049878218187,0.0,0.05176054232555331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871746822827411,0.0,0.0806001154025253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294655712272204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547942498999029,0.06818878789873029,0.13667877571626885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969622474813178,0.0,0.0,0.07829138608285659,0.0,0.0,0.2573300106189824,0.0777934368536933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451885202400805,0.0,0.1491637369437222,0.08212689114477488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616394605235325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353628417858143,0.06742761505983888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705664535729155,0.0,0.07856293574752031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978825696826577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731308706165371,0.0,0.0615362492942332,0.0,0.0,0.08723932373754457,0.079267676815032,0.06387916157738217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543028308862713,0.05944957096327716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278119161965207,0.0,0.11612325835136306,0.06206843445208096,0.06749577529564063,0.0,0.0,0.08966115031978619,0.0513031266441374,0.0,0.07587060915415604,0.0,0.04502899843030785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15728680773842832,0.08399578873869536,0.0,0.0,0.09288903077262743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109553644269226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943220544530035,0.0715859320739324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842308867055928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,naradaelis,2019/04/02,"My mental health is making me feel like I am a nuisance to my loved ones, but at the same time I do not want to go through it alone. I’ve never opened up about all this before and I’m not sure if this is the right place to do it, but I feel like I need to tell someone these things. I have a lot to say, so please, be patient with me. 

I’ve never seen a therapist even if I know that that is the right thing to do because I dread the process of finding one, and I don’t really have money and time for it. I don’t like talking to other people about it because I know everyone has problems and I don’t want to be another one of them. 

I am a F20 year-old student and for as long as I can remember I’ve felt like there is something wrong. I keep brushing it off by thinking everyone is sad and they all feel like this but sometimes I scare myself and realise there’s a deeper problem.  I have days where I feel okay and functioning and just normal (mostly when I am busy and I have something to do that distracts me from my mind, like when I am working a lot or having exams) and then I can just wake up the next day and feel absolutely horrible: sad, miserable, and hating myself. And it lasts for an indefinite amount of time. I can’t be as productive anymore and every moment of being alive feels like pain. I have this deep-rooted sadness that just won’t let me be, and I feel the need the scream and kick and run away and cry but I know I can’t do these things. I have moments where I daydream about dying, and I am convinced it’s the only escape, even though I wouldn’t actually hurt myself. 

My anxiety is really bad as well, and it alternates with this ‘sadness’. In the time where I am highly productive I don’t get those feelings of sadness and despair, but the stress gives me constant panic attacks. I can’t even take a nap without waking up breathing heavily and feeling scared. Sometimes it intervenes with my day-to-day life, like stopping me from going to lectures or even the shop, even though this part has lately improved. 

I’ve always felt very comfortable being alone and preferred it over being with people, which is why dealing with this is my problem only most of the time. However, I do have a few people that are really close to me and that I love spending time with. My current boyfriend is amazing: supportive, kind, patient. He has his mental health problems as well so he understands how I feel. However, when these depressive episode kick in, I can’t help by feeling even worse because I am somehow affecting him and I feel like I am dragging him down. I feel the need to reach out and manifest my emotions somehow, but I don’t know how to do it in a healthy way. I hate being sad around him because I can see that he’s worrying about me and as I’ve said, I don’t want to be someone’s source of stress and worries. But at the same time I want someone to hear me and help me somehow and it makes me act out and have breakdowns over small things. I feel like I am running in circles. 

I consider myself educated on the topic of mental health and it’s frustrating that I can’t seem to cross this bridge. I hate hating myself because I know how amazing I can be, and I hate bringing myself down like this. I just wish I could actually be able to control my mind. I will try to go to a therapist, because I know this will be suggested, and I know that getting professional help is the right thing to do. But it might take a while until I have some time to find the right therapist, set up a meeting, etc. What is it that I can do until then? I don’t want to be a burden to those around me, but I don’t want to suffer alone and in silence. ",4.434623493975907,4.872854939759037,5.328103246318609,84.5812311746988,69.88353413654619,8.206258366800537,29.618724899598394,8.144726394080802,1.8952026104417667,2868,105,597,37,48,940,276,747,0.209,0.6579999999999999,0.134,-0.9967,3,3,2,0,0,2,69.0,0,0,2,2,36,57,7,8,31,1,81,10,3,7,5,143,142,70,1,20,20,0,16,11,0,5,5,4,0,0,48,48,0,3,30,2,3,8,20,34,2,3,4,23,96,23,81,118,13,73,0,11,2,2,23,34,0,15,40,438,144,5,0.04782067291298736,0.0,0.09333215709615277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858338553246994,0.0,0.0,0.0397906306978409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050144145110548884,0.036582683887497636,0.0,0.047425257731552886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514107492794243,0.0,0.0544029190550142,0.044929096362042856,0.0,0.039928264411502434,0.17490623011391002,0.0,0.04069187048996551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516771588136492,0.053634950946267634,0.03818091611745047,0.0,0.0525287637091083,0.12336151169325127,0.04930101397458876,0.04118787550763756,0.0,0.04963030857310654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379182054050335,0.0,0.0,0.053332691121981565,0.18951062070912336,0.0,0.040290979417902516,0.09138940455655137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.338513967053617,0.20497858970436247,0.09183069055881646,0.0,0.08741445739586927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04996865574309636,0.04587394692506782,0.08153277133287136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360650707854125,0.0,0.15249341733307842,0.05389737387358128,0.0,0.09615956711115847,0.05052516646970271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05119301940403511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042505211312260135,0.0,0.04979787199546473,0.1839669385003747,0.03898023096427604,0.05394380196774889,0.0,0.0,0.04889987800324536,0.033777155503755964,0.2569904179677456,0.0,0.0,0.042319790699175984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813108520543511,0.08632004869539035,0.0,0.0638413410060597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445759722619568,0.05073017692240266,0.0965704950012966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637526909430148,0.07376450200293662,0.0,0.050857828156667964,0.0,0.04685410616449102,0.0,0.0,0.050179751919144484,0.0,0.09721357672374806,0.07273955326475576,0.05088456758754949,0.056107256123818526,0.0,0.05178512867420912,0.0,0.0994585002408458,0.0,0.049962425082674566,0.052492738579900326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18303170261913349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190544275911723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417150032735752,0.16335437351989412,0.04548841076415981,0.0380289184816752,0.09575367193948037,0.0,0.03810688494825736,0.04353414460111517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155490292567525,0.07362938063022854,0.09459173656476938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0399802238232457,0.10955683850527716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054266332921045365,0.04507041828607298,0.0,0.07191038934878421,0.038436445472564064,0.04179737590743031,0.0,0.0,0.16657046109006324,0.15884965097289666,0.030641556288500318,0.09396713667638402,0.0,0.2230769515138203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032467097876506736,0.0,0.0,0.049783006989029904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03945706333922843,0.16923523124995407,0.03795782428922411,0.0,0.0,0.0859930559614325,0.0,0.043150719274111016,0.0,0.05499141382776298,0.04609742220342738,0.0,0.03481401942212037,0.0971284292276828,0.04873335113271653,0.0,0.05228439881535215,0.0,0.030794945493615663
mentalhealth,NelioVonC,2019/04/02,"I want to stop medication I am 23 years old.
So, this is my first post even if I have been lurking around reddit for a while, decided to make this thread here because it seemed the best place to do .
First things first, I always felt off, as if my consciousness spoke louder than it did to others, I have a pretty good memory and things that happen always stuck around in my head, mostly bad memories, but I have no story of abuse or anything, my parents are fantastic, I have great friends since pre school. But what remains are my mistakes and regrets.

I never had much success in love, rarely attempt anything simply because of my self awareness and low self esteem.

A couple of years ago I finished school and took my drivers license (the driving exam was rough on me as I thought I couldnt do it), but then I spent a long time stuck in my house looking for a job and my realization started there.

Every job I took I couldnt last more than 2 weeks, not that they were bad or I was bad at it I just felt like shit, like a spoiled brat afraid to work I suppose. I finally went after help, went to a psychologist and after a few seasons she told me to seek a psychiatrist for medication and a diagnosis.

First one, claimed I suffer from a generic case of anxiety and prescribed zolof and a few others, for the first month it was pretty good, went there the following month and she reduced the dosage and made one of the pills a sos thing, it didnt end well as I felt bad again.

At that point I was working in a store for summer and was doing pretty well there.
However the contract expired and had to wait 1 month for them to be able to get me again but a neighbor talked to me and another job came up, which is where I am now (for 1 year and a half)

Anyhow I went to another doctor and this one gave me a more depressive diagnosis , changed the medication but kept zolof, after 2 weeks or so I was feeling as bad as I ever been with bad thoughts so I called him but he was on vacation for a month so I seeked out another doctor.

This time was said to have OCD and prescribed me a bigger dose of zolof and kept the others , at this point I was taking 7 pills a day and while I felt ok, after a while I had pancreatities (or something in my pancreas, my english isnt good as you figured out by now) doctors suspected it was due to the pills and I tried a week without anything, it was bad...

Went back to the doctor and removed the zolof and all others and switched for other medication and told me to go back after a month and I felt good again, went to update my medication but saddly he retired but suggested a friend of his.

Last month I went there and he basicly increased the mg of one of the pills and little more, saying that he didnt really see signs of OCD, I dont know if I didnt explain myself well.

But I am so tired of this, I feel like a fail for having to rely on this amount of pills to function, I dont even know I trully am at this point or how much the pills are impacting me.

Sorry for the long and confusing post just felt like sharing",6.413790322580645,5.337987822580644,6.773346774193553,81.01002016129034,65.93548387096774,9.685483870967744,31.95564516129032,8.660442795831766,2.2795806451612908,2390,78,503,30,32,778,261,620,0.139,0.7390000000000001,0.121,-0.8805,5,0,1,0,1,0,53.0,0,1,2,11,29,35,1,2,41,1,45,20,2,3,3,92,92,61,0,8,21,1,9,4,3,0,17,3,1,2,30,34,0,4,18,0,2,15,12,16,3,10,50,14,67,19,77,39,12,96,0,5,2,1,30,26,1,12,57,359,97,14,0.051649512572343056,0.06119622660742952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045784176542119435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595306403274983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247705200818954,0.03951173574690975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275094440700732,0.0919580330438904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943057406797298,0.3018762991742752,0.0629701269413134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054202976922975626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273992709805832,0.059073282795612414,0.0,0.0,0.05463833582057135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057149203271867836,0.0,0.03330966275159529,0.0,0.04448564949578692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21146185878013507,0.0,0.0,0.12106568813857695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045746137751566114,0.0,0.0,0.0682280318717563,0.046719941112083815,0.043516941967410114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052231090901576266,0.03689842210174246,0.2975497907677753,0.056579516414772324,0.0,0.2196652450443464,0.0,0.0,0.07980857058247343,0.0,0.026984738564032384,0.0,0.029353608258346868,0.1732846426046205,0.0,0.05694376994980538,0.0,0.0,0.04567349339258823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300730078396185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03461957955224281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959660291218383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376251473255925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056770442716626984,0.08420249263014565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009333717007788,0.05176638041129872,0.0,0.09141638662229648,0.04337258229862618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04661570162814459,0.04887201762891972,0.034476450707076986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601572505616153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24735688902090755,0.0,0.07593666921951284,0.0,0.039835288187241184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419747506148176,0.0,0.13999618567564534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735067140386981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05396274759972093,0.0,0.1464764519360573,0.0,0.09893191160067416,0.15763836786305999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033088000315198436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049130514075666674,0.041073765457165984,0.0,0.10454412831817098,0.04115797443522205,0.04701977642583185,0.1077634119061801,0.0,0.05301748243207067,0.04272501053117809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039762318145067414,0.0,0.05781740071686205,0.0365577908372867,0.0,0.0,0.04318130522255799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03883400559325267,0.0415139217568856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294092339476947,0.0,0.0,0.08200788735180227,0.06023449227062151,0.05936351675167245,0.0,0.09870664530821788,0.11476901779980288,0.035066628673573186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030464220707895243,0.0,0.12429037060488515,0.0,0.1393173439789039,0.33515730926220016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04978828700258441,0.0,0.07520292059078315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978177810240438
mentalhealth,Polarmesh,2019/04/02,"Does everyone feels so bad and unsuccesful? Hello, I am guy in his 20’s. Problem is I feel very depresed at the moment. 
Story starts at 2018.10 when i found a job with good sallary just after university. Everything was going great, but im a January I was ask’ed to join my countries army. I just felt realy depressed that I need to do I don’t want and I would loose my job. A three weeks later I made a mistake in my job which costed me about $1800. It is basicly almost my 2 month salary. 

Besides that me and my friend started a website development company, had some clients, but my friend is quite lazy, basicly I was working alone and he was smoking pot, doing nothing or hanging out with some girls. 
Now I cant concentrate working on own business. 
I always was hyped about my job and web development but know I just feel like I dont have energy for it. 

After all this I started to feel vert depresed and even suicidal. Don’t know what to do in my life, I just feel like everything sucks. 

I always wanted to make some money that I dont have to stress about it. I always felt that financial freedom is number 1 thing in every life of individual. 

I know that this can sound complicated because of lack of english knowledge and I try to express and tell everything. 

Hope someone of you Redditer could give me advice. ",3.405475605475605,5.341607513513517,4.7195103545103585,82.19456212706216,74.25096525096525,7.489013689013689,28.375043875043875,8.296473431620573,2.091662548262548,1042,43,198,18,22,345,150,259,0.131,0.73,0.139,0.2481,5,1,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,3,11,13,1,1,6,0,24,2,0,2,1,47,47,14,1,9,8,0,7,2,2,1,2,1,0,2,13,11,0,0,12,0,2,2,5,6,0,1,10,8,34,7,27,35,6,21,0,1,0,0,11,8,1,6,13,131,47,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196715965757892,0.0,0.0,0.10448893837586667,0.10807253019172028,0.0,0.0,0.2604764126100921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755081737189006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712579563962278,0.06360926144927131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331298001583727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898743403250676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131519177571068,0.0,0.2445889625256666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06892053308935638,0.0,0.08791726088332454,0.09970849850822873,0.2813423872225666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638061314403413,0.14909173556043356,0.2003799087437425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441163697320292,0.16123722401907833,0.0,0.0,0.10009962075448918,0.059303083315198776,0.08752172396645752,0.0,0.11504347621913115,0.0,0.10332042069240653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036406022647733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271319543198376,0.0,0.4141951313871388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203995491631865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740743636531467,0.10195782573941574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873611815356807,0.06965275991624463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328917106822821,0.0,0.0,0.07737234173018616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012423102256822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984645559357774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098640011249823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841328974507644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22157307170849186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952969736125282,0.0,0.0,0.11413921789127253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120430565307004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932383579439047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084509623176273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609760748936876,0.12309370642767173,0.0,0.08370126241819584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193243113726332,0.0,0.0,0.07412546309443434,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Frigorifico,2019/04/02,"How do I know if the way I feel is a side effect of my medication or an appropriate response to my situation? I've been taking sertraline for a couple of weeks and I've been feeling the effects, a week ago I felt hope for the first time in god knows how long.

However the doctor did warn me that I could have some side effects at first but that would eventually go away, like being extra nervous.

Now I have this essay to write, I asked for feedback and it was not good, I am freaking out and I can't get anything done and I don't know if this is the side effects or if I'm reacting appropriately to something that is 1/3 of my grade being shit.

What advice do you have for me?",3.4244680851063833,4.327478148936169,5.140205673758867,83.32350000000002,72.47517730496453,7.909503546099291,26.86595744680851,8.238735603445708,1.5923072340425533,533,18,114,8,10,182,88,141,0.08800000000000001,0.8320000000000001,0.08,-0.4975,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,6,3,6,1,1,9,0,20,3,1,7,0,30,32,12,0,6,7,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,10,0,0,1,3,3,0,2,6,3,15,3,14,22,2,17,0,0,0,0,3,7,1,7,9,83,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18622644272312855,0.16893211252585447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682594133760375,0.0,0.17816071139871545,0.0,0.17905029204688255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521576157766329,0.21086620677789286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950602873107743,0.0,0.1950230909313358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927196073389236,0.0,0.1829806661470476,0.0,0.0,0.3242038336953616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956690795533214,0.0,0.10830744217441708,0.1598442024863985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18928271363315155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142030131848643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310469791939899,0.0,0.0,0.16865175348712202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919829829673168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956211945804599,0.0,0.2142128565383903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671296745922435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432877272931582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111250741491145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126855589714358,0.3057335009412932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537810951719528,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,zyzmoz,2019/04/02,"My Mind is falling apart! I don't really know when it started, everyday I feel sad and bored.

This sadness is like I was alone in the world even with those I love around me, like alone in the crowd. It isn't a permanent feeling, like this sad moments has some peeks during the day without any pattern of why and when it happens . Most of my thoughts are like ""I'm alone"", ""I'm lonely"" and ""I'm not capable"". In addition sometimes I fell bored, like, I want to do something but I don't know what it is.

​

Well, I'm posting here because I really don't feel confident talking with my family nor my friends. The reason of that is  that I'm 27 years old (a complete failure that can't afford a house/rent/own life) living with my ""Parents"", my real parents died when I was 8, and some say that I'm just looking for their attention!!! 

I'm working hard to change myself, like, swimming against the current! I'd like to just give up, but I think life worth more than my sadness yet.

​

I had two long term relationships (like 4 years each) where in my vision I haven't felt any love, I was just comfortable with.                       At the end the convenience hurt me... Moreover, I'm a introvert! A damn introvert...  I'd like at least  1% of confidence when I had chance to say ""I love you"" to those who I felt something that I could call love.

​

Finally, I don't like  where I work, it is really boring! Going straight to that, I know I have the option to choose where I work. However I'm trying so bad to find somewhere else and no one give a chance! Even demonstrating them (companies) that I  work and study really hard!!!

​

Sum up, a real failure!

​

Sometimes it seems funny! being someone you don't want to!

​

BTW, Should I worry ? Should I ask for help? What should I do?

​

thx;

​

​",3.529788094779427,5.256168368715084,4.188728568676557,87.01896648044695,73.41340782122904,7.284299749566557,28.266615295704106,7.990435384864732,1.7950886919668654,1428,57,284,21,29,454,170,358,0.17,0.63,0.2,0.9328,6,5,2,0,0,0,108.0,0,2,2,4,17,28,1,0,15,0,28,6,0,1,0,48,61,14,1,6,7,2,7,10,1,3,2,2,0,0,20,13,0,0,15,1,1,4,12,11,1,2,8,10,41,17,31,48,7,37,0,6,1,4,22,15,1,5,27,170,61,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300067581798387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488019972120626,0.5033168073121836,0.06259567571457622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04097103862229843,0.043026144220090115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03842804344928757,0.028055749101682164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04699555913816522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04868719551872735,0.0,0.04825519527342394,0.0,0.0,0.036746348110045034,0.0,0.0,0.029681615274219218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04776555360867294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03844707216565548,0.0,0.04076352472101782,0.0,0.0,0.06079671859894915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043387247475738085,0.0,0.06981321713107602,0.032879491372130885,0.08838034457004075,0.050416945111346506,0.042065021062331225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035557959641919434,0.0,0.0,0.08830065877438849,0.02615644936821429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04069879269622659,0.0,0.08245676887272872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030848857548871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04926954885100799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588061393302406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501609916797461,0.22484958264916693,0.0,0.04063995680508208,0.04072971314235736,0.03864849400721048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615350708083845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04647103039069203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04829435277101232,0.0,0.031186993351378613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220821369596746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044078184765374735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477057377139287,0.1179363841505034,0.04732024600654181,0.0,0.049412456683155984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320012293458164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041898440238170916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038995910624122006,0.07086291076522372,0.09103765005140987,0.0,0.03257596124583255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036992276484483576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02949026394618523,0.0,0.03653784458852148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031247214630026693,0.0,0.0449586737268348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429219055286549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04138102343700896,0.0,0.04152942131528912,0.0,0.0,0.04436540804972106,0.0,0.13402382204343274,0.04673951589850736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5033168073121836,0.059275779745948436
mentalhealth,bittersweetb1tch,2019/04/02,"Thoughts about killing or harming people and animals Okay, it might be important to add that i was brought up in abusive environment, which included mental, physical and sexual abuse among a few different things, my dad was the main abuser that i believe started the whole mess and moved onto my siblings who also started repeating some of his behavior, one of the things he did was constantly killing our pets or getting us to do it, sometimes he'd have a reason, and sometimes he wouldnt, but the worst part of my childhood was the emotional abuse, love was never an emotion that we showed in our family, even to this day i find it very foreign and strange, there was mainly emotional distance and a lot of manipulation, the only way we could cope was to use manipulation to our advantage, because honestly would only get us in trouble. My dad used to always tell us to never get emotionally attached to people or animals because they would always leave or die, ironically he was the one doing this half of the time, especially with pets, i cant even remember how many animals we've had over those years, too many. 

Anyways, after i escaped that toxic environment, (about 6 years ago now) i started getting really gruesome ideas and thoughts about harming animals and people (ill give you a minor example, i could very vividly imagine pouring fuel over my sleeping mothers body, lighting her on fire, and standing back and watching her screaming in absolute terror until her flesh slowly melts) and i dont know why i think things like that, i know its wrong, but it always calms me down, especially if im in a position in my life where im loosing control, but sometimes thats not always the case, i could be enjoying myself, no problems at all, but then i zone out and start thinking about those things again, and its not always someone i know, it could be a complete stranger, i thought its most likely linked to my childhood, and also in all those imaginary situations, im always in control, im always the one who chooses who gets hurt and in what way, but im still not 100% sure why i do that and if anyone else has done the same thing, i dont believe id actually act on any of those thoughts, but sometimes my emotions can get so intense, and i feel like i might not be able to stop myself (might be helpful to add, ive also recently been diagnosed with bpd, or borderline personality disorder, still exploring the symptoms of that, not exactly sure how that works completely though) 

Id really appreciate any advice or even someone that relates to this, thank you 🖤🖤



",14.698139695712307,8.322691649377596,13.344489626556024,56.62215629322272,55.74273858921162,16.504785615491013,52.672752420470246,12.913307274991677,6.533212005532503,2053,99,353,44,15,670,246,482,0.156,0.748,0.096,-0.9854,2,0,0,0,3,0,53.0,8,2,1,4,23,24,2,1,19,1,38,8,3,9,7,92,64,40,3,10,19,3,2,3,0,6,4,1,2,1,35,24,0,3,18,1,0,4,12,12,0,4,17,6,46,12,46,31,12,52,0,1,2,1,30,20,0,14,28,257,81,1,0.054491088184721016,0.2582521162008588,0.053175441634317526,0.0,0.0,0.05324806071795445,0.04830306187163093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072951060270047,0.3173866539182472,0.0,0.0,0.07411161708928862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03810143583966423,0.05583255930412719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04190028327991035,0.0,0.06643452317882206,0.0,0.0,0.1227855928001702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060527314836728616,0.06862961801768384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426573845068545,0.058885508013954035,0.1222327777408802,0.17402679974119667,0.0,0.0,0.03514224394389393,0.0,0.0,0.05530730747909662,0.05655314650241128,0.0569315893161166,0.062451507946175024,0.0,0.0,0.05576330211469585,0.1277262990480892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552031203461857,0.3064756995392671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079725494849478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051369348357898366,0.0,0.027552331460200443,0.03892844428699894,0.0,0.0,0.049803867411537514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17081606723874942,0.05227281706854019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036524227787376566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833383691323611,0.0615138058825001,0.2942986297858913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057263110001573,0.0,0.08984063100376245,0.0,0.0,0.057698194495606765,0.0,0.0,0.038488667077797134,0.07986477970762279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632637455489607,0.04918033456083471,0.0,0.0,0.11049082140965108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05491420044947757,0.17341930022618252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791540312274436,0.0,0.0,0.08405377295417384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077371478324056,0.08288585605391073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900853838627373,0.0,0.11333177843827763,0.047579516383646624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214061221057265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698167728303796,0.05602591413181469,0.05380337572855131,0.0,0.06172778051048716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06125026620672298,0.05453044099692614,0.0,0.0923402443772986,0.0,0.21557231819282455,0.0,0.15427629072494894,0.0,0.08703330682665268,0.045556989671839215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271441147711964,0.05663710488894999,0.0,0.0,0.04762761286537987,0.05016807289190615,0.0,0.0,0.1810072885219786,0.069831378110127,0.05353721747512217,0.17303934922021294,0.0317741917262341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19663820932647905,0.09412560915108203,0.0,0.08992170904161814,0.0,0.08650497889930453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983394630802504,0.060837353969294926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03967016118420495,0.0,0.0,0.0774178112414561,0.05957745077566076,0.0,0.07018094846091369
mentalhealth,APUdad,2019/04/02,"My therapist encouraged me to do this I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 6 months ago following a series of breakdowns. Life has finally gotten back to stable again and I have picked up writing which is something I used to do often. My therapist has been encouraging with sharing some of the articles I've been working on so I'll leave the link below. No pressure just doing what she told me to do.

​

 [https://bravingbipolardisorder.blogspot.com/](https://bravingbipolardisorder.blogspot.com/) ",10.730421940928267,13.881884594936713,8.365253164556965,58.5391877637131,57.48101265822786,10.329957805907174,35.951476793248936,10.504223727775694,4.4544413502109705,429,18,55,10,6,126,62,79,0.103,0.767,0.131,0.5141,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,3,0,11,3,0,2,0,10,15,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,0,8,3,12,10,1,9,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,5,45,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008474318497367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454968087150036,0.27531666689393336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17422424095829495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299715636913769,0.0,0.0,0.2596776374025161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482047603663418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23991303527728006,0.0,0.0,0.16003850767139893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085213299433725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744305584808773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5261482722551194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165046716349732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19569035726480533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495124089829566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27531666689393336,0.0
mentalhealth,colvina36,2019/04/02,"I don't know how to think or feel anymore, I think life is catching up with me and forcing me to deal with this. Hi all,

I am in a state of desperation these last days. I think I need to tell you a bit about myself and I just hope I can feel a bit better and find some strength out of this. 

 I am 26(f), I had a horrible childhood, where my parents weren't able tot take  care of me,  nothing never really got done about this and I just lived between my parents and grandparents. The times I was with my parents horrible things happened, from being locked up in basements and emotional and physical abuse to even worse things I have repressed in my brain and pretend it hasn't happened because I can't deal  with the memories.

At 10 years old, my dad got sick and the abuse became less in a way. He eventually died, I never really dealt with this. I never really believed he was really gone and on top of that I didn't have time to grieve because my dad died and before we had his funeral my mom already moved in a different man, that man was one of my dad's doctors... Needless to say, I had a hard Time dealing with this so I just didn't, I went numb and lived life. On top of that my mom decided she wanted to cut all ties with my dads side of the family so I want aloud to see my grandparents, which I thought more as parents to me than my actually parents. They were my rock, my security, my home... It was all taken away untill I was old enough to have a cellphone and call them myself.

I just kept living on auto-pilot. I was never really wanted in my mom's house,  she was literally counting down the years till I would leave, at 17 she decided she ran out of patience and kicked me out.  (I think her BF pushed her in that direction) I ended up okay in the end and settling in my own little apartment.  I was now also not in the most healthy relationship myself, I ended getting pregnant, On my 19th birthday I gave birthday to my son (now 7). I left the baby's dad because I didn't wanna be in an abusive relationship after just getting out of an unhealthy all over life...  He ended up being abusive even after we broke off, for example he followed me to the station when I was about to take the train to work, he ambushed me with his girlfriend (45f), tried to push me on the tracks, I ended being able to run away but want fast enough and in the end he held my down whilst she pushed me threw a window, my legs and arms were bleeding and in this process my iPod fell on the Floor which he than '' stole'' and gave me time to run away again and I ran all the way to the police station whilst strangers were telling them to stop and leave me. 

Things in the end have settled down, I never had the resources to have a lawyer or fight things, so I always obey what is best for everybody so there is no problem because I don't have the money nor the strength to fight it. So I still get dictated how to live, I live on the schedule of a bartender because that's what the dad does.. 
I tried to ask for meditation and he doesn't want to, so it will always come down to lawyers. 

Fast forward, I met this man, he was amazing always heard me out, always wanting to be there for me without me even asking, he was a Saint and what I needed. This man lived in England and moved countries for me, we lived together and he proposed to me, a year later we got married, and 5 months later he moved back to England. So I am alone in my Country and I have to fly over whenever I don't have my son and he will come to. My country one weekend a month. He moved because he  doesn't like where we live, he misses his family and he wants to work here. 

all this has me feeling abandoned again. I can't sleep, I cry everyday. I get panic attacks and I sometimes go to a very dark route that I just don't wanna live anymore, I try to snap out of it because I don't want to do that to my son. That's the only reason but nothing feels clear anymore. This post is probably all over the place. I can't concentrate, I can't enjoy, I am scared, It never stops, it just never does. Am I just being weak? People go through worse things. I know I have to grow up and get over it but it just doesn't work :( and than I think it will also never change the situation where I am in so zill it ever stop... 

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mentalhealth,NeonTaterTots,2019/04/02,"I can't sleep, and now i can't stop crying idk what's wrong with me
its 3am, I have work at 8am theres a never ending steam of tears on my face and now my nose is all stuffy from crying... what's  wrong with me... idk how I'm gonna keep up my happy mask at work tomorrow ",-1.8600659340659331,-0.35252175384614937,1.1021978021978036,103.69923076923077,89.61538461538461,4.32967032967033,10.824175824175825,5.288315135182226,-1.7933516483516485,206,1,59,1,7,72,46,65,0.129,0.7,0.171,0.1615,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,3,1,2,9,7,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,8,1,8,6,1,10,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,6,32,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5370947016179007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21653473957952335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602511324583929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21730307525784828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18855632797993385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24465432915456686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439436290444876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559654568912175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345961259722857,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sosta_satyaneshi,2019/04/02,"Questions for mental health survey. So after the untimely death of two of my school friends due to suicide, we have decided to arrange for a mental health awareness camp in our small town in India. The camp will be aimed at high school and college students, and for that purpose we were thinking of putting up a questionnaire. Our hope is that it would help give us a general impression of what the students currently know/understand about topics like depression and anxiety issues. 
It would help if you guys could suggest some valuable questions that needs to be there in the questionnaire. Thanks in advance.",9.319937694704043,9.79622792523365,7.57621495327103,72.50799844236762,59.467289719626166,10.871651090342679,41.197819314641755,10.504223727775694,4.592340809968848,496,25,77,10,6,147,75,107,0.109,0.7190000000000001,0.172,0.7184,1,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,5,1,0,1,3,7,0,0,7,0,9,2,0,0,0,17,14,5,2,6,1,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,7,6,18,7,1,14,0,1,0,0,14,9,0,5,4,55,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541094804287484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088992874772035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119823824763286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665690723897755,0.0,0.0,0.15726279657429493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623228757396846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3485135954276807,0.0,0.0,0.2197663155221958,0.17320787743391886,0.0,0.16282590111682815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110707883688522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900951945962377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009107670718155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33041879962209664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155681256609965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648014282362244,0.3672927218666644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318249121901258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931988622024142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093067265495602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504386817182744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601421067224033,0.1706636429989491,0.1971953840527112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23291152425415446,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WolfArt14,2019/04/02,"Can't figure out how to feel happiness from the world or if something is wrong with me I don't really know how to put this but for quite some time (around 2 years) I was only able to be manually happy, like forcing a smile. Every time after this when I came back home it instantly disappeared and I felt even worse so I tried to smile less, because I  thought such extreme changes from smiling to instantly feeling nothing would hurt my sanity even more. I figured out a way to kind of cope with this by gaming or doing dumb shit with one of my few friends but after some time even this doesn't help. I don't have many friends and I am introverted.

Often I just feel that I can't feel much from this world because I don't live in it. Even while writing this my thoughts try to turn me away and I feel really bad when I talk about myself so I can't really decide if I want any fix for this or if I want anything at all. 

What should I do?",3.871384615384617,4.449532138461542,4.722564102564103,87.92076923076925,71.2051282051282,8.051282051282051,26.282051282051288,8.139509932561175,1.355205128205128,737,22,163,10,13,239,115,195,0.122,0.6970000000000001,0.181,0.8892,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,16,11,2,0,3,0,16,1,1,2,1,42,29,18,0,7,9,0,6,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,11,10,0,0,12,1,0,3,7,5,0,1,5,6,24,6,27,21,7,22,0,1,0,0,6,8,2,9,11,115,35,0,0.12763547694507307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867965011296499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503312227835426,0.11362263477364015,0.0,0.0,0.1199177320928722,0.0981438033029512,0.10657029191170238,0.1556108041521006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598098314613248,0.0,0.0,0.13502141074760066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372081150534743,0.0,0.10753839419920566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322681660802057,0.0,0.12255007378290945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19722170574854705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717406771601604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555136975589776,0.0,0.12802879013659269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663641788942407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291270816192666,0.07014512017292139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235624691839577,0.0,0.11270446453283757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294023404420466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382676148083044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246968247664683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648910241008789,0.0970725316915942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830890748508111,0.0,0.13575604069248695,0.0,0.0,0.2452996644725643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101598291302902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826002585753316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025885616225123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026566233465284,0.22327581907196484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17331222126591506,0.13883074746639226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505654224467656,0.1013111006565664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300714552108845,0.09066858078104537,0.13954935748659256,0.0,0.0821930624591377
mentalhealth,SpillsMcK,2019/04/02,"Therapy causes more mental health issues than it solves. I have tried many times to find a therapist only to realize they are giving me bush league answers and feedback from an outdated psych101 book. I eventually quit to avoid throwing more money down the drain adding to my anxiety. I understand the idea of finding the ""right"" one. But i haven't clicked with any of the 5 or 6 I've seen. It's all such a waste of time for the results I get. I have had issues for 20 years now (34m) and it's starting to become very apparent that I'm not going to get this fixed in my lifetime. Which infuriates me even more.",3.9947449908925314,5.294954303278691,5.075355191256829,82.8187340619308,71.54098360655738,8.373041894353369,28.30965391621129,8.841846274778883,2.15943970856102,483,18,96,9,9,159,90,122,0.09,0.871,0.039,-0.7003,2,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,8,0,5,1,0,2,1,16,13,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,6,1,1,2,2,1,0,1,2,2,11,0,16,11,4,10,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,5,59,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784019449955633,0.0,0.143812451969191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20762107544225733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19311834212235904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416615432133725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34364038172586503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643487410924995,0.18033791093860074,0.10683950724959278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998254358380196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122187375550693,0.0,0.3924271196547452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19059317087100847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945051644982866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738743532624566,0.14297547908620178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999513623330685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605431210845067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330608600078577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21498387012152456,0.21827181505389276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192379014185643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763341717363355,0.0,0.0,0.19570505880621128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511210286726348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105991548662705
mentalhealth,throwaway3748592,2019/04/02,"Community mental health team referral (UK) Hi all, I had a doctors appointment yesterday because I’m pursuing a borderline personality disorder diagnosis. I’ve been referred to the community mental health team and it’s been marked as urgent, my doctor said that it’ll be a few weeks before I get a letter through.

Does anyone have any experience with this? I know it’ll be a while but I’m wondering how long people have waited specifically. If it helps, I’m in the Greater Manchester area (Salford).",5.9803296703296684,8.027205274725276,7.504175824175824,64.41582417582418,67.68131868131869,11.353846153846154,34.97802197802198,11.20814326018867,4.8262923076923085,404,20,64,14,7,139,67,91,0.023,0.879,0.098,0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,0,9,4,0,1,1,10,17,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,6,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,4,0,5,9,3,6,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,2,4,37,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398927550273435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384019778401402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540150709728004,0.0,0.17504768867497958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23576637092338254,0.421114535934395,0.18002194033778476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122802548355595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747721336847517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43732928995218695,0.0,0.0,0.1378859361351282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305518062365752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182050651835394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41462319094972216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261637010545064,0.17962176217954776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568137492543627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501157557940688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230883461417566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kapitankaw,2019/04/02,"Sharing the incident + reflections nearly a year after. (Sorry for the long post) UPDATE (April, 2019)

The bite mark took four months to heal & disappear. Though I can still see a slight trace. 

A close friend really helped me through the period as I would take one step forward & ten steps backward with the anxiety/ anger issues. 

My daily routine included topical ointments (home remedies plus creams) & daily doses of vitamin C + E (all through research) & make up for whenever I needed to cover it. 

Thank you to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU who replied on this post. Being able to share this definitely helped kill a few of the demons in my head. 

I still haven’t outed him (shockingly, two friends with whom I did share this episode continue to be friends with him- another point for introspection for me- because I too, continue to be friends with them) 

I’m so glad that the physical mark has gone & an determined to constantly erase the mental stamp it has left on me. 

Lots of love to you ALL. 
N 

ORIGINAL POST (June, 2018)

I was out for drinks with a few school friends of mine including this guy I had been flirting with for a couple of months. We had made out once & it was super casual. 

He had a flight to catch that night so we decided to go drop him off at the airport. Once there, the two of us managed to break off from the others. We made out briefly but it was extremely aggressive so I pulled back & suggested we head back. Which was when he leaned in and bit me very hard on my neck (right collarbone). I had to push him off and he kept grinning as though this was totally normal. We walked back, me clutching at my neck, and once he had gone my friends helped me get some ice and we could now see the wound forming. 

He messaged saying “sorry” the next day and I told him to stay the fuck away from me if he genuinely was. 

It may appear to fall into a grey area for some considering we were intimate but I did NOT consent to that animalistic bite. I don’t get his agenda behind doing so? Was it to “mark” me? It was a very painful bite- After we were done making out. An isolated act.

It has almost been a week and now I’m seeing that the bite is going to leave a permanent scar. This is just killing me. 

",3.393439466864127,5.299763803652969,4.140455386893745,86.46206034801925,74.2054794520548,7.931482167098607,25.76477847710724,8.685302888712808,1.8065010983586327,1758,61,355,35,37,561,240,438,0.079,0.8240000000000001,0.097,0.1166,0,0,1,0,0,0,69.0,9,3,1,1,18,23,5,0,28,0,35,12,4,5,3,54,59,19,2,5,5,0,1,0,6,2,5,1,1,1,22,28,1,1,2,2,0,16,3,7,0,6,27,7,47,16,66,26,11,73,1,0,5,2,45,26,1,7,27,241,69,3,0.06320114896806647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632868213044649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6847841850173889,0.0,0.0,0.06627191530271097,0.048348705971418944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937955991010116,0.14579334714701056,0.0,0.03852683379907707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689992857190581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829798941496831,0.0,0.050460974726704085,0.06993086922810005,0.0,0.04075951258380147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467671836457071,0.0,0.06191306505999894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05324969384879953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929743054929975,0.05842844381123082,0.06603998360917625,0.0,0.07183733885920339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625790739488718,0.0,0.0,0.05661581550460287,0.0,0.12972522474630985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708719379075462,0.0,0.0633959055216776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596557934866022,0.0,0.0,0.13984541460782413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669208912316748,0.06866823327787032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055931028012565234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537313567581752,0.057041504481281376,0.11960491058687275,0.0843745154022981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369189309093007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089310826435594,0.0,0.0,0.04686285114097054,0.0,0.0,0.06721513892894114,0.05930999694328413,0.06192370711419608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019214829658791,0.08565346839870648,0.0,0.06725047851434471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974551419149773,0.0,0.1815876909006272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04048827438685392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05397343589351769,0.0,0.05026009036778036,0.0,0.06396293690399142,0.15108939914162312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149702383094626,0.0,0.0673640156195103,0.1009450384123004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047519398543949286,0.0,0.0,0.05818712662763849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418961594273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060391406264724966,0.07021880197537518,0.0,0.0,0.12347667811135675,0.0,0.07602320045635957,0.0,0.0,0.1042951337168554,0.0,0.0,0.05069614946764499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04489628289736428,0.0,0.0,0.04069946780437112
mentalhealth,not_ur_charity,2019/04/02,"I don’t want my mental health ruining my new relationship. I deal with bipolar disorder and I just got into this relationship. He’s wonderful. Incredibly thoughtful, empathetic & kind. He also deals with mental health stuff. So he understands.  
But my head won’t stop trying to tell me that he’s just going to wake up one day and randomly break it off or he’s going to find someone he’d prefer over me. I’m worried I’m going to be too clingy or push him away if I can’t control my emotions. I’m constantly working on myself to the point where I crumble under my own pressure, causing a downward spiral of drowning  in my own self-made worries. I know I shouldn’t be worried. He’s a genuine guy. I just don’t know how to control these crippling thoughts of self-doubt. 
There’s not enough validation in the world that can keep me from being so cruel to myself. 

So if anyone has any tips on some self love, throw em at me ⚡️",1.9784323107233348,4.2722030267379685,3.834517309316073,85.1008781311568,80.22994652406419,6.2897832817337465,25.35012665353223,7.475848149327749,1.419637433155081,734,29,143,11,19,247,119,187,0.114,0.7859999999999999,0.1,-0.1766,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,12,5,1,1,4,0,11,6,2,4,0,32,27,12,1,5,9,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,6,5,0,4,8,0,0,5,6,3,0,1,3,0,22,2,23,18,4,25,0,1,0,1,16,15,0,7,4,89,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315534661765422,0.0,0.12621461140480025,0.0,0.07921577935829434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145106133827099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944423430647952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966518073200745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588205718449078,0.2613022123159812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512507085254799,0.2401878587320236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335052470410062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103322985993976,0.0,0.12036315935456865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10646784747144074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986083062411643,0.0,0.09316603007748367,0.0,0.0,0.11534135386506547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955021150452025,0.24764242103174364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353981456959588,0.0,0.1213042418373693,0.12803742755434722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051348947532613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347848478978436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250475790657337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893522854314716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011873553517272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501288609144402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645669132919862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869983562320997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973891161415258,0.0,0.0,0.13335079759174587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181557548692284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495679147867866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079087650430685,0.0,0.0,0.12126803168895878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870759263507348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263261789498533,0.08480459228652126,0.3548974081480333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,epicwonders234,2019/04/02,"Idk what’s up with me So I started to take medication for depression(specifically SSRI), and I’ve had such an urge to just overdose, not to die or anything. 
I think I want to experience a bit more before I decide if I want to die or not(though the feelings rapidly come and go anyway). 

But I’ve had this disassociation where I just really want to overdose and experience side effects, again, not to die, just to feel the effects. I want to sort of crash from the overdose and just move on with the next day, and no I’m no druggie or anything(I’ve never done a single drug so I don’t have any urges or history relating to that and myself). 

To touch on a few other things lately, I’ve been having bad spelling errors where I forget words I’ve always known such as “professional” or that other word that I still don’t remember being called. I’ve been forgetting where the month and the day go on the date, I know either one can be correct based on where you live, but I can’t remember which is which anymore. 
And also finally, I’ve been having dream reality confusion just a bit. There are a lot of events I either don’t remember anymore, or have thought was a dream.

I get this could be normal perhaps, but I’m just really confused as of what this could mean, what it’s supposed to be you know? ",8.026699092088199,6.222698774319071,8.373394941634242,73.17490434500651,63.20233463035019,11.212581063553829,35.035343709468215,9.928628108626363,3.1819756160830086,1023,35,202,17,12,340,133,257,0.075,0.858,0.066,-0.4883,0,0,2,0,0,1,28.0,0,2,0,2,19,3,0,2,14,0,24,2,0,2,2,62,43,23,3,8,20,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,15,11,0,0,14,2,0,4,9,3,0,1,8,3,18,0,26,29,8,26,0,0,0,0,3,10,0,11,12,146,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405047518366187,0.0978586531632426,0.0,0.0,0.07997696279603307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332695796038864,0.0,0.0,0.0967807458074781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819714113421872,0.0,0.0,0.1000751074060556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567933135662951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009015133601572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130823205474596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779963837040572,0.0,0.0,0.15169389344635614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661732725415588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035304892181488,0.0,0.0,0.13638707195030605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23008491475447584,0.0,0.0,0.1189315184139952,0.0,0.0,0.12883299357117894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144493396610659,0.0,0.1336778206556443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292677376018471,0.0,0.13266610039822818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038493562479612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998547811440234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281087727910692,0.0,0.11847693127454613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387298476066236,0.124997894332397,0.0,0.0,0.09070596131134424,0.0,0.12507664439933633,0.0,0.11523013443145713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969371617159557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15068443146955382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39967826361860176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08324301673753735,0.0,0.09392130161867646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842601545516908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813303095244639,0.07535797690638346,0.11554852581485014,0.09336701949278428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774712121495985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HIL2SWALTB,2019/04/02,"I’m So Lonely I’ve never been able to get a woman into bed with me. I’m in college yet I’ve never had sex and I’ve only ever hooked up with two girls. I get it: this stuff isn’t a competition or scoreboard or anything of that sort, but you can’t tell me it’s not natural to have these desires. I’m 6’2” 200lbs decent looking and get good grades. I live in a dorm next to 4 girls on the same Ivy League sports team as I am. I make them laugh and they seem to like and want to hang out with me. They’ll approach me and talk to me, and one in particular seemed to really like me. But they leave parties with other guys, and I’m always left without anyone it seems. I’m not so awkward, but I just always fumble it, I’ve never been able to know when to make a move, and I feel so alone knowing they’d rather go have sex with other guys than put some more stock into someone like me that has cared for them, helped them in classes, and made them laugh. Maybe I’m delusional. I never get any matches on tinder either. I even deleted the app because it felt so artificial. I’m not sure what to do. Again, I live next to these girls. I hear them come in late and inevitably catch a rumor that they slept with guy X Y and Z on the team. How do I stop myself from being so sad with this constant “rejection” and what can I do to change my luck? I’ve cries myself to sleep the past 2 nights. I feel so alone even with these people around. My friends have sympathized and told me to hang in there. My parents have been nothing but supportive. I just need to know how to change things.",2.068539714413209,3.4528141114457864,3.2802543507362785,93.44582552431952,76.56024096385542,6.002855867916107,20.73003123605533,6.42735559955562,0.04151302989736694,1223,28,280,9,27,396,173,332,0.099,0.778,0.123,0.8864,1,4,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,10,2,19,15,0,1,9,0,19,4,2,5,6,68,52,29,0,4,14,1,3,3,1,1,0,1,2,7,19,26,0,1,9,3,0,8,10,4,0,2,8,5,38,11,44,41,4,38,0,3,1,2,28,15,0,8,18,177,57,7,0.19955767451036746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20668156734702595,0.0,0.0,0.1660479714246231,0.0,0.0,0.06785303089564719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697676829823461,0.0,0.08210948135310173,0.08882431949906111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082425307707547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017311744925692,0.0,0.21110555922861246,0.08595063327329845,0.0,0.10782547599151453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960236747157262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180596194084532,0.09025567074355267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009023562696647,0.0,0.09580333117615772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770888821512475,0.0,0.2085212969847877,0.0,0.0567066126163278,0.08368975471477885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963902082672349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245800129159884,0.0,0.06687965136452825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16450751854026902,0.0,0.11255487448408713,0.10565138172647703,0.10840999862669473,0.0,0.0,0.14624069957741095,0.0,0.17621308265873525,0.0,0.0837890933520452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441314836220993,0.13320629732640846,0.0,0.10024125321008616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604911326349677,0.0,0.07398474353166261,0.3078223618455937,0.0,0.2122318507742332,0.09363567956018502,0.0,0.09574048539647093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761272242071723,0.07588630193917356,0.0,0.0,0.11079259074259744,0.0,0.09525019037084168,0.06917408242548898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030529054123248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392087812881915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27250471801821513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985089633815226,0.0,0.0845422850117518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341957574591248,0.0,0.0,0.11422289677952305,0.0,0.11322784208446543,0.09404037327897573,0.0,0.0,0.0801984498305365,0.0872111016913061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628862584726543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953429549254605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746942556620967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05885214339363869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618323849788632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xisaacxa,2019/04/02,question can i take notes during therapy,3.197142857142854,4.304963714285717,4.317857142857143,70.33964285714289,126.14285714285714,7.114285714285713,32.07142857142857,7.1686216300943375,4.311628571428573,34,2,4,1,2,11,7,7,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6333910458030667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4251195953265187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6465981076108361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,4dolfin,2019/04/02,"Losing memories and other forgetfulness. I'm almost 40, male, diagnosed with psychosis, depression, general anxiety disorder, and high functioning autism.

I used to have a really good memory, especially with little details, patterns, and numbers. If someone asked me to recall something on a day I could give them a complete synopsis. 

But lately I've only been able to recall small fragments of experiences, if any at all. I reintroduced my friend to my spouse because I thought they have never met. They told me that they originally met at the 4th of July party. I have no memory of being there. They even showed me pictures and videos and I still can't recall. This was last year.

My nephew just turned 4, I think. And my spouse was talking about the time we went out there for his first birthday. Again, I can't recall anything about it except for it was at a park... I think. 

Routes to locations I have taken many times before now require me to use a GPS otherwise I'll get lost because I can't recall. Passwords I use on a regular basis I've forgotten and had to reset and start relying on a password manager. 

Is this something I should bring up with my doctor? What should I tell them? I don't want to go in there and be told that this is normal.",3.5908976317799848,5.947146340336139,4.792116119174941,79.9738731856379,75.09243697478992,8.024751718869366,26.784568372803673,8.841846274778883,2.3751445378151264,991,38,176,22,22,326,145,238,0.083,0.8759999999999999,0.04,-0.7642,1,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,6,4,10,5,0,0,9,0,20,2,0,4,2,37,42,12,0,7,5,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,9,14,0,1,3,2,0,3,6,3,0,1,13,0,32,2,28,24,1,28,0,3,0,0,21,12,0,3,13,122,41,3,0.14065775651246426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408484251764006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565209778846988,0.0,0.10760279873482534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574934879218883,0.0,0.13149601493773824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714873256638058,0.0,0.11968939085881933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747698157751266,0.0,0.0,0.11230377314938704,0.0,0.0,0.09071261662467313,0.0,0.1211483195763558,0.14276466203763685,0.0,0.0,0.16120597497982014,0.14396917396998016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929031216015868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375902759765622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964341583445386,0.0,0.0,0.1086718337648788,0.0,0.07348787234295452,0.13493173692040394,0.07993904448530427,0.11797705270059818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861264240213318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465484489833885,0.1586680759666921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097602414399202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736005067673808,0.153544556922951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260488799578225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848393309804724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378147369127522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069765621089865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010896056958456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917886064133855,0.2165704257590562,0.0,0.0,0.09955828402102183,0.0,0.1123294660458851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130553766635984,0.1229410789334709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802556217238141,0.0,0.11166654704702972,0.16403733792426456,0.0,0.0,0.26880902820678154,0.0,0.0,0.15299524819400154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3644494206652461,0.0,0.0,0.08296358910785964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039114947681524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090578983548331
mentalhealth,ThatOneAssHAt,2019/04/03,"Would this potentially be a traumatic event? A good bit ago, I stopped feeling emotions and became the numb shell of a person I feel like now. One who's waking experience feels like an unfeeling rock that has constant negative, circular thoughts that give me anxiety, almost on level with delusions except I recognize the fallacious basis that these thoughts sit atop, for instance, a good bit ago, I decided to go searching for weed with my friend. Long story short, we ask a guy outside of a bar and he tells us to follow him, ""Have you guys ever heard of DMT."" Something that at the time, I would've asked because I was interested in the topic. ""You should watch what Joe Rogan thinks about it."" Something I also may have said at the time. Eventually, we end up at a park to smoke a joint. This guy was telling stories that honestly painted him as a douchebag, such as taking a psychedelic before going through TSA so he couldn't communicate with the TSA while they questioned him. 

We got to a place where we decided to smoke it and we did; we decided to walk back and this guy, Micah kept talking to us and I got the at first, small idea that this guy could conceivably be me from the future given brown hair, general height, general look, and semi- comparable personality, but this was not a notion I believed in whatsoever, however the thought kept attacking my head, and it started scaring me. If this guy is me from the future, then that changes every idea I've ever developed around the supernatural and the forces that dictate life. I then thought that since I had been fucking up certain parts of my life such as school, relationship with my parents, and diminished feelings of self-worth and confidence, that this man was conceivably an angel sent to show me how my life would end up if I didn't change my behavior. These ideas rooted in my psyche were being attacked and I felt such incredibly high anxiety, I thought my heart was going to come out of my chest, but my mind conceived the anxiety as a sign this was truly spiritual but I believe that was spiking anxiety. 

Jumping to today, I feel like I am in constant argument with myself on my foundation of reality. I feel as if I'm constantly scared of the true answer. I don't however believe any weird beliefs my mind constructs but it takes up all my mental energy to ponder these questions and test my sanity. I don't feel like I'm insane but I don't feel right either, life just feels uncomfortable and I want it to stop. Please someone help me, I want answers besides go to a doctor, (which I understand is important and am currently doing). If you must DM me for further information, please do, I have no way to get support for the feeling I'm undergoing.",7.963985444588559,7.457056426070043,8.111098140942499,70.8170766681078,62.56031128404669,11.505865398472405,37.714079838593456,10.903163001774269,4.144296094538118,2169,96,388,50,27,709,268,514,0.099,0.7909999999999999,0.11,0.6209,4,0,4,0,0,0,59.0,8,3,1,1,14,19,3,2,31,0,35,13,5,2,6,98,82,34,0,12,13,1,12,4,1,5,6,2,0,9,30,28,1,4,31,3,0,9,8,7,0,2,26,17,62,12,58,46,5,63,2,0,3,1,43,26,1,8,30,262,92,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102934028925192,0.0,0.06229578599723967,0.0,0.0,0.04975047827942405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04230592288522055,0.0,0.1903663719148736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05538138475845943,0.1163186254413826,0.14154902294663227,0.0,0.04783676899596305,0.0,0.03792352568873925,0.0,0.05293736631945156,0.21027301890451652,0.0,0.0,0.1358375929939015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162294139965924,0.05358966011095757,0.0,0.2016854462717234,0.0,0.04967078481732976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367606056369289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997951371257395,0.11020176800970806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254764587606787,0.052415834198158935,0.0,0.0,0.060854740667510135,0.0,0.0,0.3145598101466186,0.1777755042169128,0.05973275308982225,0.0,0.0,0.05291703204680703,0.0,0.0,0.0480644159965999,0.05751348790778003,0.03250291768002112,0.05967889663588311,0.14142481470683058,0.10436003410640826,0.0995123677607918,0.0,0.0,0.36959472935474985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384690108199349,0.0,0.0,0.07372087399643522,0.04169902708649195,0.06572981810746421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068748168639825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576716259060565,0.1215734984340406,0.0,0.0,0.0550551802074876,0.05224195404661827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269451459196171,0.0,0.12563167060101238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04215609211605879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690784588151804,0.06736894356337235,0.0,0.0,0.10864128621657436,0.06499772969300878,0.13657899220929848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938213525941873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679182094107856,0.0,0.05312824285774485,0.05917734021358949,0.0,0.12456903914365028,0.06296131401443726,0.0,0.0,0.06490011563005069,0.0,0.0,0.05146195865035656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271156414144725,0.0957868352416464,0.0,0.0,0.044033588219807435,0.0,0.0,0.1040231244511963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059682216778644,0.0,0.0,0.0935505440594015,0.05000321119424838,0.10875110792211376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03986258852962871,0.0,0.2469447318697465,0.07255199968397698,0.0,0.058969185373435914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476431891013637,0.14966544151967096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338785628810998,0.049380557464998864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257969860693972,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,amxykbdo,2019/04/03,"Taking lithium now Hello.
I posted this on r/depression, but I think I should post it here too, I really need some help.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and paranoia, my doctor gave me lithium (300 mg) about 5 days ago and now I feel bad.

I'm also on risperidone (been taking this for a long time) and lamotrigine (my former psychiatrist prescribed it, the new one lowered the dose from 100 mg to 50 mg).

When I wake up I feel dizzy, drugged and I have to come back to bed. The rest of the day I feel down and I can't function as usual. I know this is either a side effect of lithium, lamotrigine or it's just psychosomatic.

I really need to function right now, so please let me know your experiences with lithium and how you dealt with it.

My English isn't very good so excuse me for my grammar.
Thank you.",2.0363888888888866,4.251968858024696,3.800725308641976,85.84701388888892,79.55555555555556,6.519135802469138,23.70524691358025,7.6454224807358475,1.1899987654320987,633,22,128,10,16,212,103,162,0.112,0.8029999999999999,0.085,-0.5492,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,0,1,13,3,0,0,6,0,8,6,1,2,0,26,22,14,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,1,5,0,1,0,7,10,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,3,3,23,2,18,17,3,22,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,2,13,86,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15062478949974073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358858303728688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065882584811195,0.14187700845963513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463719689824372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191700853525556,0.0,0.14635278161872922,0.1724663245774296,0.0,0.0,0.1947442848102081,0.17392143078449745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19705451235520224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621542653892926,0.0,0.0,0.2577516185691637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252174434024725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389452156748806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867683691139984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375582203224826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037481321896132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519886630958503,0.0,0.16411084284598704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514292486379915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865223251082377,0.0,0.0,0.32547485802108256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21771159640096066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511167825218488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555190181277708,0.0,0.0,0.15644050555290126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088785702267484,0.0,0.0,0.0990823511976844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871440689802332,0.14020269079262554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,djentally,2019/04/03,"My first psychiatry trip So I went to a psychiatrist today to address my growing issues of dissociation, depression, anxiety, and low-functionality. For a long time I managed things okay on my own, but my mental health recently spiraled out of control and I decided that meant it was time to seek help.

Interestingly, the doctor diagnosed me with ADHD and he said the other issues I'm dealing with are symptoms of that. He prescribed me Ritalin to give me a boost every day and he said it should help me overcome my mental health issues

I'm just sharing this because it took me a lot of emotional labor to be able to take such a bold step. It was really hard for me to let go of my fear of seeing a psychiatrist. I wanted to do things on my own but that just wasn't right for me anymore. I'm looking forward to seeing the results of this change, and I hope any of you who are contemplating seeking help can learn from this. If you wanna comment, I'd love to talk to you about what you're going through! ",7.475177664974617,6.485330248730963,8.265588832487309,70.8902614213198,63.771573604060926,10.925685279187817,35.943654822335034,10.125756701596842,3.5257435532994914,797,32,149,15,10,270,114,197,0.047,0.767,0.18600000000000005,0.9841,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,3,0,2,5,8,0,1,9,1,10,7,0,2,0,23,28,9,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,1,6,2,1,0,15,8,0,1,3,0,0,8,1,2,0,1,8,6,22,6,31,17,3,19,0,1,3,1,18,5,0,3,8,103,37,4,0.12596690893702764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138774546200304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566181766654396,0.0,0.09636434055023442,0.0,0.12492532534738005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678825850543412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325628703931094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128259955655192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123823528201324,0.12986635192566534,0.1084951140863421,0.12785376098848078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289324689720082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169581787173607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613255368767928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174779343946156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714738839161046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083893728150948,0.14317979451493684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284160798512223,0.0,0.0,0.2677938674436782,0.0,0.0,0.25329889137602696,0.0,0.0,0.12511356329318712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944301770996032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128809698907304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147675046181506,0.1057804779304025,0.0,0.0,0.10709256135896902,0.11369005339214874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253890032950695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806976274321085,0.0,0.12437712581418885,0.0,0.0,0.10757505196072452,0.2396467530620147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20075863486426446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092785025357026,0.09471143874540086,0.10124742986187818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737363403639724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690463520045702,0.0,0.11940190074824232,0.0,0.13995387075270552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742985465811312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167725865930818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Oxgeos,2019/04/03,"Mental Disorder ""The worst thing about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't.""

This is from the Joker movie. I'd have never expected I'd find something so poignant that explains perfectly how it  feels to deal with the stress of being neurologically different, within a comic book movie. This is exactly how they make us feel. I'm so tired of feeling guilty for being different, for being me. 

Did anyone else see the trailer? Thought I'd drop this tid bit off for those struggling to articulate their feelings.",5.402699999999999,7.527162470000004,5.923000000000003,74.86150000000002,69.3,8.200000000000001,29.5,8.841846274778883,2.6462000000000003,437,17,71,8,8,141,74,100,0.21,0.7240000000000001,0.066,-0.9458,2,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,1,2,2,1,5,4,0,2,6,0,10,3,0,3,3,17,19,6,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,5,6,1,14,14,2,4,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,1,1,50,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178159996064875,0.1931083129244225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20575885567819066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19430281076003625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938190655046212,0.21600129905169055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744129895454548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3811814691446893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17225685035438984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580422794712748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3798639624104888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535857295828028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066036978965456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15018504200688676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509230599544998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589009985201116,0.1970282608646608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252101374149963,0.0,0.0,0.14962298528819734,0.0,0.2166168860194627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267044733562175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Halston228,2019/04/03,"I dont know what to think I started dating this girl i really like her and she is a sweet caring person. We have had deep conversations about her past and some mistakes she has made. Ill start off with this she and her ex had a toxic relationship but it  started off with her being wasted at a party she met him ( her ex ) he took advantage of her being in her state . He had sex with her and she says she can barely remember it. It ill start off by saying it really hurts me to hear that she went through that but besides that ive been having visions of that happening to her and it really upsets me i dont know how to react to this its like im having flashbacks of somthing that didnt even happen to me.
That being said this is the first time ive ever experiemced anything like this i dont want it to get between us but its always on my mind and i dont want it to be. 

If anybody has experienced anything like this please leave some advice i just want to get it off my mind.",1.0502694541231108,3.138869102439028,3.010313588850177,90.86715447154474,82.36585365853658,5.855981416957028,19.030197444831593,7.07126945348624,0.2552880371660864,766,19,166,10,21,257,105,205,0.114,0.755,0.131,0.6883,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,0,2,5,10,0,1,4,0,23,3,0,3,1,31,44,11,0,5,5,2,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,2,23,10,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,3,0,1,10,6,33,7,26,30,2,20,0,1,0,1,32,8,0,3,13,124,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197647498031003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534844551109344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859637589235628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683261487223302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.537196680474165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568592059469341,0.10365363491194912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974705899480744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973757555046075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026639373500488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291517808551611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267146148700905,0.0,0.12377736469883345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259518441819482,0.0,0.0,0.12133475558045766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22393244964939876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084282675049896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314074046861006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938956385406008,0.0,0.10005597300771192,0.0,0.12578591835402306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202287560515119,0.0,0.0,0.12302727380996226,0.12980865738068076,0.0,0.10900177200177108,0.18225387223593686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32443088021405264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342494222660577,0.0,0.0,0.06681862093904455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731422158349934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783821876912672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20276527341233025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622650795174657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,g1m23b45c67,2019/04/03,"How to know if you’re a sociopath I know this probably gets asked a lot but I’ve been thinking I might be one for a long time. Is it possible to develop sociopathy or are you born with it? I’ve shown a lack of empathy, I don’t understand why people sugarcoat anything rather than just ask straight up (eg. Asking someone Do you have chlamydia, instead of going around asking people and then not saying anything to the person) I am quite cold majority of the time now. I feel stuff, like I love my parents, I have friends and feel things like sadness, but it’s mainly just sadness and a cold kind of anger. I don’t tend to follow rules, but it’s because I’m smart enough to find a way around them. I read somewhere that faking pleasure during sex and lying are other symptoms. I’m also diagnosed with depression brought on by smoking weed when I was 13.  I am often completely emotionally detached, people die or get severe illnesses and I just don’t really care. I recognise that it happens and it’s sad for the victims and families, but I don’t seem to be able to connect. I am quite smart and am able to easily manipulate people’s emotions, actions and thoughts revolving around me in order to get something I want. I find it easy, and I know exactly what they do or say nxt and do things to make them do that.  I like the feeling of anger. I have thoughts of hurting people but not like killing  or torturing them, more just being in control of them and the feeling of putting them in a place of fear. I also have to remember to smile and remind myself. I had some of these symptoms before my depression, which I have mostly recovered from and don’t usually feel depressed anymore, but they become very strong afterwards. I almost kind of encouraged myself to do it because being cold and angry hurt less. Am I a sociopath?",4.147313883299802,5.881844197183103,5.07689637826962,81.24568661971833,71.8169014084507,8.001006036217303,30.42505030181087,8.634040054169528,2.5135613682092552,1450,63,266,26,28,473,183,355,0.21,0.627,0.163,-0.9801,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,2,7,4,15,29,5,1,13,0,31,7,0,4,1,67,62,31,2,4,18,1,5,4,1,1,5,2,0,1,19,20,0,1,16,1,0,5,7,15,0,1,6,10,39,14,39,51,9,26,0,8,0,3,20,10,0,12,13,191,58,1,0.16941945999355928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848245582966286,0.0,0.0,0.13548468094728436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400928997334274,0.0,0.0,0.13941778010117084,0.22622885760844802,0.3167686502959753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327653031749832,0.09355524147596156,0.07208174106083631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636721533927384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881654023156631,0.0,0.095009165205932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21888109895952898,0.08597859282092317,0.08791532579506896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057408925685515,0.0,0.08752779542484364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798567944680579,0.09532199695317388,0.214158923644856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484631714180747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544652726394126,0.0,0.13277201297443955,0.0,0.048142491693663705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490853447797277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18136703593972126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937187654507834,0.1764242966143778,0.1396627567662143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553958089075732,0.0,0.0,0.07496544538740317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201718319465085,0.07645383861076452,0.0,0.05654440255468394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898636369589542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05740150535086148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940601304407519,0.0,0.0,0.293635304150316,0.07396526882658533,0.08850363829966652,0.0,0.0,0.09549749270055463,0.0,0.0,0.09133141626388183,0.0,0.0,0.08515667563118359,0.0,0.18019844995668835,0.08473265365275784,0.0,0.054267222152541365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595961091138584,0.0,0.0,0.13472915458608534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711655671410864,0.0,0.0956978832303432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177427933280738,0.06521368869448584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697237422097488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609168848595289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125547611467616,0.054278574552953485,0.0,0.13450012689756444,0.09878984955745126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818581637572935,0.0,0.0,0.0932957998909426,0.06989439876794644,0.049963993505525564,0.06723864075806693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643735556644711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1020ddt,2019/04/03,"There is something wrong with me and I dont know what it is. Hi guys,

Whatever this is (and I think it's something) it is ruining my life and stopping me from reaching my goals and my potential. I've been seeing a psychologist and did an inventory and said I have symptoms of anxiety and depression but he didnt diagnose me with anything.
Whatever this thing is it's stopping me from doing what I need to do in a day and getting the uni results I need to reach my goals.
Last year I was studying law/ arts but transferred to a more 'prestigious' and higher ranked uni for security studies with the hope of getting a distinction average and doing a law/security studies double degree next year. My parents pay for me to live on campus and I can't help but feel guilty for my problems that I feel are ruining my red hot crack at doing something incredible.

My symptoms are:
Can't wake up, no motivation to do work, I don't get up when I should, I can't fall asleep untill very late even when I'm sleep deprived and know I need to go to sleep and wake up early
Don't get excited about the things I normally get excited about
When I complete work, do something productive or reach a milestone I don't feel excited or better about myself
I need coffee to feel normal each day

Would someone please tell me if this is indictive of anything or could someone who has experienced similar stuff tell me how to get over it or cope.
Would be much appreciated 👍",6.56159090909091,6.33063350699301,7.3071241258741235,74.51145541958044,65.32867132867133,10.78636363636364,35.70716783216783,10.411451182825502,3.658804895104896,1157,51,221,26,16,386,146,286,0.126,0.779,0.095,-0.7325,1,0,4,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,7,9,12,0,0,10,0,32,9,5,3,1,51,54,26,0,13,8,1,5,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,15,17,0,3,8,1,1,2,9,6,0,0,5,9,32,6,31,44,4,23,0,4,2,0,9,7,0,6,14,152,47,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107442363886441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442504935261294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373071348714644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111803244878367,0.0,0.0,0.08461642064714749,0.0,0.0,0.13669668811761845,0.0,0.09128043415185938,0.10756748734038828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420779171977148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999880232355195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143467256411596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322211112371297,0.0,0.060230886501932826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493687990859286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103617205775176,0.0,0.0,0.10526207075647397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164876924783968,0.08638785958015913,0.11955007639335448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485682086773296,0.0,0.0,0.09358229747898927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790750739808495,0.3143313617182695,0.0,0.0,0.11271095138909196,0.0,0.20767583177233706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767826802532468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633423448861425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014085642480544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081126623442058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445235301361627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121131108694664,0.0,0.17959305055335645,0.3263543820808864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17720808092651733,0.0,0.0,0.12132176503642055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203076353135057,0.0,0.0,0.185262413864062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14081682948651816,0.06790771620605429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744461392028635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430943054264296,0.0,0.0,0.1505703280490255,0.11587251258806305,0.0,0.1364953137152625
mentalhealth,Lollygagging1537,2019/04/03,"I F26 Worry About my Partner's M33 Mental Health I've been with my current partner for over a year. I am completely smitten with him, have been since day 1, and we plan on marrying once I finish graduate school. He endured some childhood trauma--sexual abuse--and only came out about said abuse several years ago. He has been actively working to overcome his demons--goes to therapy, attends mens support groups, exercises, eats well, sleeps enough, doesn't drink or smoke. Despite all of these habits, he still struggles majorly with anxiety and depression, so much to the point that he has been suicidal in the past, but not gone through with it. He describes his daily existence as painful, waking up in the morning and just trying to overcome the hurdles. Life to him, a great deal of the time, is this heavy weight. 

​

When we met he said he felt like he wanted to live again. Most days, outwardly at least, he seems to be doing great. In reality he is struggling big time. Says he wakes up with anxiety at 7 and goes to sleep with it at a 7. He is skeptical of medication, but he is seeing a psychiatrist next week to talk about possible prescriptions as a last resort. 

​

I love him completely, will always support him and I know our love and deep bond really helps him on his bad days and makes him want to keep going, keep trying to heal his heart and mind. The scared part of me worries that this pain will never go away. That we will marry and create a life together and one day he will decide he can't go on and end his life. I don't intend to leave him because of his struggles with mental illness, but I greatly fear this possibility. Should I just accept the possibility of this happening and carry on with our lives together? I want to build a life with him and share our dreams, but I also fear that he may never climb out of this hole. It's very difficult to see someone you love and empathize with deeply, struggle so much internally.  ",5.683395721925134,6.731296826203206,5.8935978609625685,79.45380855614972,67.36898395721926,9.192556149732622,30.46802139037432,9.3871,2.645536598930481,1559,58,291,30,25,496,209,374,0.151,0.7090000000000001,0.14,-0.6191,1,0,2,0,2,0,54.0,6,1,0,3,12,25,1,7,14,0,23,22,5,2,3,58,48,25,1,4,8,0,2,1,2,6,11,3,0,3,13,30,3,2,5,3,0,7,6,13,1,1,10,7,34,12,54,31,9,49,0,1,2,3,52,20,0,5,23,178,47,3,0.0,0.0871376141584625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651923187304131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05881311033885402,0.06119449960101037,0.15936978684419012,0.1787280199168532,0.0,0.0,0.1125219176120692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909700904916732,0.0,0.061406168179468035,0.04483173987279319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411474381155523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542189698210033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971918378017372,0.07582063483505133,0.06334333955293038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204512164100248,0.0,0.07525387241992651,0.0,0.0,0.06513815510565968,0.07599061169197302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551489320650886,0.0,0.0,0.07061377337086196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671870004000513,0.0,0.0,0.2432475593525559,0.0,0.0,0.06503471643837043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817383307315551,0.0,0.08714999426291531,0.04929499305085083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073857292893346,0.0,0.0,0.04041785913353985,0.05994817589860711,0.0,0.07787247722977438,0.0,0.0,0.2077852090049949,0.03592988361600783,0.0,0.12988139901905166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199128994419378,0.0,0.04909119116997652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408784291681242,0.14823010880934284,0.0,0.07425847510060805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108126604363632,0.0,0.1134433334989176,0.0,0.07821487848420419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832195992940891,0.04983531782652367,0.05593352612376788,0.15651200276666358,0.0,0.0,0.07964098533789044,0.07020606980785178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952285165109166,0.2487294298962234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711416968952152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991437107374213,0.05848514074897546,0.07363037399170652,0.07443045446543599,0.1172100926708064,0.0669516956052628,0.0,0.08308378668745363,0.0,0.06083635689606485,0.0,0.14719422546873687,0.0,0.062313592656790186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05873233351007655,0.0,0.0,0.30753662823033656,0.0,0.08044519947565294,0.1669137196393018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059111881512918726,0.0,0.0,0.08410397357984095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576819581014967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998630970761498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068150226380986,0.13013447022045013,0.0,0.05899256080420885,0.08955677929789023,0.06612488840252391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354090800455978,0.1493750040997142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787280199168532,0.09471984970695398
mentalhealth,vanderpumprules,2019/04/03,My mother is suicidal and won't get help? I don't really know if this is the right place to write this? My father left my mom for another woman and is getting married to her next month and now she is saying she has to work all the time to pay for bills and she wants to die. She says she has no money to do anything else but work 16 hour days. I don't know how to help her.she won't get help she won't go to a therapist or a physiatrist. What do I do to help her? My father won't help her he doesn't even talk to me or her anymore he just walked out of our lives and started a new one with the other woman. she doesn't have support from anyone but me,1.6296677115987457,2.513846875862072,3.385391849529782,94.26924764890283,76.79310344827586,6.65203761755486,20.768025078369906,6.980632752743323,0.1612068965517235,507,11,125,5,11,170,80,145,0.16899999999999998,0.831,0.0,-0.9666,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,6,0,18,0,0,1,1,19,27,11,2,2,6,4,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,2,4,7,0,0,2,0,3,2,9,0,0,1,0,2,21,1,16,23,1,14,0,0,0,0,29,4,0,3,8,82,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355063093578934,0.0,0.0,0.15468268144143044,0.10905950864869,0.0,0.12835197198728754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058927630605663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187469669239393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029490240004302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301828032524653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24446737966455298,0.0,0.08864269307371442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5227249640966839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360136762613588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143667262636758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946443793789442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772646152729104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267295634149688,0.12449565881969694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063908826152528,0.16587838649376366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569091548402924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629579311271279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991989504489902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319955299067834,0.0,0.24807098008238826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039804729018876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17060845901442098,0.17699559875319235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536468403455653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18109594481060767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094874408289227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919965457797499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270994880597052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,3001ssshh3001,2019/04/03,"Mental illness, anxiety? Depression? Something else? I am 20 year old male who has had depression and anxiety all my life, and have been in counselling for roughly 14 years. Last year I was hospitalized twice for increasing/worsening symptoms. When I was inpatient I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (don't remember if it was type 1 or 2). What's confusing is that my therapist doesn't necessarily agree with that diagnosis, but isn't totally sure. I was taken off antidepressants and given a mood stabilizer. About 3 months ago I experienced a panic attack, since then my anxiety has never been this bad. I was recently put on buspar which hasnt helped much. Ive been having terrible racing/obsessive thoughts, and have been fearful of things like car accidents, illness, death, etc. About a couple weeks ago a friend and I were discussing mental illness (not just my experience with it but in general), and the subject of schizophrenia/delusions got brought up, and my friend (who loves to mess me) tried telling me he wasn't real. I didn't really believe it, but I was skeptical. Skeptical enough for it to freak me out and think on it for days. This skeptism left me and I now find it foolish I even thought about it, but the fact that i was even at all skeptical has increased my anxiety and is making me paranoid I'm developing schizophrenia or some other phychotic disorder. I also used LSD in the past, and slight visual disturbances such ""breathing"" or seeing subtle geometrical patterns on textured surfaces still occur Years later. The visuals are very subtle, so I've learned to ignore them and deal with them. My therapist and doctors are aware of all of this and don't find it to be any current emergency but have recommended an evaluation. I called today and left a voicemail to the person who would do the eval so I'm waiting on a call back. sorry I know this is a lot of random information spewed at once. my therapist and doctors are great and really helpful but I wanted to see if anyone could relate or would be interested in giving any advice. thanks. ",5.746566243194192,7.688777431578945,6.4440290381125225,72.20078947368421,68.10526315789474,9.978221415607988,33.366606170598914,10.245366335075165,3.8690281306715057,1664,77,275,45,29,545,216,380,0.22,0.6829999999999999,0.097,-0.993,1,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,2,0,14,24,4,4,14,0,42,11,1,2,7,66,61,34,1,6,14,0,1,1,2,2,9,0,0,2,22,22,0,2,9,0,0,4,9,15,0,1,22,4,33,8,35,34,10,42,0,2,2,1,20,16,0,10,23,198,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886581023832206,0.16084934351023653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255494490784642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339595559153732,0.0,0.2776259064086761,0.0,0.0,0.06343894883821842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321590783479888,0.0,0.06976403562550143,0.07575387738539502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022190997276202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852863432565235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243872180905947,0.10038852418756933,0.0,0.0585118898142954,0.09353632126646473,0.15628734767002034,0.09208675138414277,0.0,0.0,0.2079637121361516,0.1857273829690272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579138902838144,0.0,0.0,0.0937460136533919,0.1011854184857546,0.1198496398146584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874914391202099,0.0,0.1020939369541625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584703054034752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019206147424754,0.0,0.0,0.08703432021815102,0.0,0.0,0.07256326582411689,0.10002765917388412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162579004682665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049861595923617684,0.07395522145639469,0.0,0.0,0.19715192084479768,0.0,0.0640836894408521,0.04432499337792338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713348435516848,0.08188533212187613,0.0,0.06056147430864825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18286445515942948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07241802047618083,0.0,0.06669533185267591,0.0,0.06997483014207129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520350634167156,0.09662208740554673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644946038802212,0.0,0.0,0.08660989867322087,0.0,0.07921996741306886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120644290936296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326803665595836,0.11624503334399805,0.0,0.08958270272360133,0.0,0.1027768487828222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144596532429195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505092822938217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984665066756693,0.0,0.10156228255213944,0.0,0.0,0.07245529436516956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550982595597288,0.09430086610160078,0.0,0.0,0.0793000481285782,0.0835299179509791,0.0,0.31602571440120736,0.06027548234251341,0.05813467557853685,0.0,0.14405539030568518,0.0,0.0,0.08599929375552842,0.0,0.0,0.061598183338216435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835964146376723,0.0,0.07485989141382775,0.05351357468347148,0.0,0.07277632443619464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128900773902091,0.0,0.0,0.2337027726495666
mentalhealth,keekee77,2019/04/03,"Marijuana is the only thing that helps my depression & anxiety? At a certain point I feel I need to figure something else out. I’ve been smoking weed (usually every day) for about 3-4 years. I have thought a lot about this. I’ve thought maybe my depression stems from how heavily I use cannabis but then I realize the reason I started using it in the first place was to relieve my symptoms. Ever since I was about 12 I’ve had depression that has only gotten worse since. I have been on every medication and combination of meds you could think of on the top of your head, probably more. 

Right now I’m up against a wall and I have been for for a couple of years. I love marijuana. I’m positive I would have killed my self by now if it had never been introduced into my life. I stumble from one day into another feeling empty and exhausted and it’s an endless cycle. Go to work. Go home. Be anxious about going to work. Go home. I’m depressed at all times. My days off are usually worse than my days at work because all I do is think. And feel like I’m wasting my time. Weed is the only thing that helps me. The only thing that allows me to actually relax. I’m on lithium for my mood and gabapentin and hydroxyzine for my anxiety. But the only time i ever feel “correct” is when I’m high. 

I’m just looking for some guidance and wondering if anyone feels this way too. I don’t live in a legal state. I’m spending a lot of money, and on top of that the stigma around it is just terrible. It’s hard to get help with this specific issue. I’m just told to stop smoking weed it’s bad for you!!! So how do I move on from here? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. ",1.928821902654868,3.9543975929203534,3.9268132374631293,85.77791897123896,78.97050147492625,7.069358407079648,25.048027286135692,8.07648339933343,1.5654195427728612,1300,49,267,24,32,442,171,339,0.156,0.722,0.121,-0.9319,0,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,3,0,6,18,15,1,0,15,0,27,6,1,6,7,54,59,18,1,6,7,0,6,1,0,2,4,0,2,1,17,14,0,1,13,1,2,5,2,8,0,2,12,7,31,6,47,42,6,51,0,4,1,1,9,23,0,6,22,173,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.08312858639798702,0.0,0.0,0.0832421110172985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922982610816485,0.0,0.05792894026784636,0.0893242378375778,0.1303330767370618,0.09623516711894436,0.0,0.05956355798351873,0.0,0.0,0.07583299715095408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112618589611641,0.05192818178980284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801354823405467,0.09425593883301928,0.0,0.219749942614397,0.0,0.2934799729665581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116140600872857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411000187680862,0.14354461603839602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536129234299725,0.06085641124534779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245859159976142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044505814987774256,0.0,0.1936511269537932,0.0,0.0,0.0939171185252983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630931664494539,0.0,0.08742471660765933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129377764960016,0.09000296996933957,0.1708956476323628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891134460078448,0.0,0.0,0.09424493782823394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016891234345988,0.04161724558075396,0.0,0.07522020022546838,0.0,0.07153421622907936,0.0,0.0,0.1448430294636936,0.07688307919917338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558010589846264,0.0,0.09462168937767644,0.08581525022929908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053851635820256,0.0,0.06316383707853727,0.0657001720375792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0577237789787142,0.3239363808923196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900053099296193,0.0,0.08052766386776533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184418516560974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758469888150529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274779976770365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886686934852167,0.0,0.0,0.14093235771317192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655798228561732,0.0,0.0,0.06029460954402885,0.0,0.0,0.07121874375790116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854016670835609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978002882654702,0.10916662974683908,0.0,0.13525526116759765,0.14901673936089105,0.0,0.0,0.08139822595885365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714553545953465,0.18763919516150096,0.0,0.0,0.06761614376180416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237984823140027,0.186047787478742,0.0,0.17362224194286655,0.12102641769833668,0.0,0.0,0.10971310925343884
mentalhealth,din0steo,2019/04/03,"Can I seek a psychiatrist without parent's consent/knowing? ​

The title pretty much says it. I'm sorry if im in the wrong sub. About myself: Im basically a 16 year old guy, who lived in 4 different countries , 3 different continenets (living in Canada currently) and with no exaggeration, I know something is wrong with me. Started slowly realizing at the age of 14ish that I wasn't really that normal and something was wrong. About my unknown issue (In case I'm lucky enough someone in the profession): It's been two years since again with no exaggeration feel absolutely empty, it's like having a hole in the center of your chest and can't breath properly. Sometimes I have like different personalities, a good and an evil one, music for some reason too affects it somehow. I have no close friends, pretty sure because of how I act or talk. I have thoughts of legitimately becoming big one day out there and sometimes I feel like I would end up failing miserably in life (It's like thoughts in my head, not an actual voice tho). Im not suicidal but I wouldn't mind if I die or someone kills me. What im concerned about rn is that I dont think I can last 2 more years to be 18 and go to a psychiatrist without my parents knowing, like whatever unknown issue I have will become worst. With all due respect I'm not really here to see comments like ""you are not alone"" or ""One day it'll change and be better"" or such. I'm genuinely concerned about my mental state as I'm positive it WILL worsen over time if I didn't get help and if someone could help me answer this question, I will greatly appreciate it.",5.664999999999999,6.339652156050956,6.65465605095542,75.31542356687902,67.2484076433121,9.464713375796178,32.89745222929936,9.516144504307137,3.0426196178343954,1283,54,238,25,20,429,179,314,0.125,0.716,0.159,0.8982,6,1,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,2,0,2,12,21,2,1,12,0,25,4,3,3,2,52,41,20,3,8,15,2,2,6,1,6,1,2,0,2,14,14,0,0,11,0,0,2,14,8,0,4,6,5,26,13,31,26,6,32,0,2,1,0,14,15,0,12,20,149,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.08168315660988701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669223504300823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069339010118302,0.10170968006739288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102526085666555,0.18488927101418945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402950101848056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854787098069637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683093689815132,0.0,0.0,0.10796447861899484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687167197041433,0.26235900163113746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810061719932377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413701465566493,0.08648874202166723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464664651430512,0.05979824734021706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466960335594606,0.0,0.043731953269267335,0.0,0.04757098615546418,0.07020705309674258,0.0,0.09228409904774977,0.0,0.08288024884324234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590458622800964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122102281323068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616592972702204,0.1747307298274321,0.0,0.0,0.09260621826836588,0.0,0.13800480271846802,0.06823003795496281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059122702585935084,0.2453616597426349,0.0,0.14782456099584956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435407582071835,0.0,0.08451731013736935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06153216681813395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201227552701988,0.0,0.0,0.08783340409531186,0.0,0.17016025471162075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858870617437145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308721787239318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703143851841158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376778241484378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724601834656664,0.08606178674946205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656488397333629,0.0,0.0,0.06670135455964428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924092147658846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127667136665124,0.12887905768452132,0.16557105015501092,0.09369992080154807,0.05924621417881055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915587327094282,0.0,0.07889015211641713,0.0,0.0,0.06727820919917965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053634226807930736,0.0,0.13290345907447762,0.048808551450780384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176677252021462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137558904914048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946101250571863,0.2745519788397291,0.10170968006739288,0.16170814650452114
mentalhealth,my_baby_smurf,2019/04/03,"My aunt has bipolar. How do I handle this? She was my favourite person to be around when I was little and then one day she was just gone. She wouldn’t show up for birthdays or family gatherings, wouldn’t have us over, wouldn’t even talk to me anymore. I missed her. Then I grew up without her. The last time I’d seen her, I think I was 12 or 13.

When I was 16 or 17 or something I tried to write her as a pen pal. I wanted to tell her things I couldn’t tell my parents. I felt like I could relate to her because I was having issues with my mental health that I didn’t understand but maybe she could. When she replied it was like she thought I was attacking her. I didn’t understand. Then she wrote me saying she won’t be talking to me anymore. She wrote my father (her brother) saying many more unkind things than that. I respected her wishes, perhaps somewhat spitefully.

Then she suddenly showed up again when I was maybe 24? I hadn’t seen her since I was 13. I knew it wasn’t her fault but I was still angry. Now I’m 28. The last time I saw her was at that dinner. She’s been coming in and out of my family’s life. 

She’s walked into my parents house while my dad wasn’t home and unloaded on my mother for keeping her brother away from her all these years (my mom had nothing to do with that). She does this thing where she says things that are seemingly innocent that get my father all mad in a matter of minutes. She’s gone to my grandparents house and said all the right things to make my grandmother hurt - enough that my always very gentle grandfather kicked her off their property. She knew exactly what to say. I think she’s been saying things to turn my dad against my mom. I don’t know this, but sometimes the way my dad talks to my mom, it seems like he’s angry in a kind of way that had nothing to do with her. As if someone was talking shit about her and he bought into it (That’s a very familiar thing to me being a minority in my career)

I think this is what I’m struggling with; the manipulative behaviour. I know that I should forgive her, that she can’t help it, but can she? How much of this is her illness and how much is just her personality? Does bipolar disorder make people manipulative like that? (Bribing people, causing conflict between people seemingly deliberately, aggravating people’s temper seemingly deliberately) I guess at some point her illness is kind of part of her too but... How much can I reasonably expect from her? How do I forgive her?

I should mention that, apparently when I was little, every conversation my mom had with her ended up revolving around race relations. My mom is black and my dad is white, so my aunt is also white. I think another reason I’m angry is I think she might be a little bit subconsciously racist..? and part of me thinks that’s why she’s so often gunning for my mom. 

She’s also self-medicating. She thinks the weed makes her better but she’s had it all this time and it’s not making her better. I wish she would see a psychiatrist but she thinks she knows better than they do (my whole family’s like that to be honest)

If I wasn’t so close to this, it would be easy. If my friend were in this exact situation, I would tell them to forgive her and that she can’t help it. I need to take my own advice, but I’m really struggling. I don’t want to fall into the traps she sets, and I don’t want to feel hurt again, but I NEED to forgive her. I need to be able to at least look at her without feeling angry. I need to not feel some kind of way about my dad and brother hanging out with her. She’s not bad, she’s taking care of my aging grandparents, and even though she takes off every so often, she keeps coming back (so far) it seems like she’s really trying.

But me, I still have this anger… how do I work it out? And also, perhaps more importantly, how do I find out more about bipolar disorder? Where can I get information? Does anyone have any insight on the illness?",2.6638124723573644,4.431081774436095,3.9659627008698237,87.53044338788149,75.8671679197995,6.999882058086393,22.888176323160838,7.827709963407826,0.9896474421347484,3088,89,649,46,68,1013,290,798,0.109,0.785,0.107,-0.8234,6,0,1,1,0,0,94.0,1,0,3,4,41,33,5,2,15,0,76,10,1,16,6,145,142,59,0,24,24,21,4,6,2,10,8,6,1,2,46,32,1,3,34,2,1,8,21,13,0,1,40,18,152,20,83,82,20,75,0,3,8,0,122,37,1,19,32,467,198,3,0.050189442858516335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904454269055933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040943796302775,0.04176163705072496,0.0,0.0,0.034130542213121486,0.052628006935292335,0.0,0.0,0.0995488820200916,0.035093625409346275,0.0,0.0,0.08935848984776823,0.0,0.05709773683478586,0.047154633701005706,0.038592583548778585,0.04190608837243241,0.030595018524985064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331654508196369,0.05479387264976576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0511714819452789,0.051558383134015714,0.0,0.08646752189125942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014437234078126,0.0,0.0,0.03236803857473077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504289945054168,0.0,0.1317633589985238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044452949356766566,0.051859110956605614,0.0,0.06629930732028205,0.0,0.0845735405224414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419424199429479,0.0,0.07613187099987323,0.0,0.048189735899848665,0.0,0.045872241514262266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03877623905219371,0.0,0.05244382480142605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528932971647607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053349030794447035,0.0,0.0,0.06728185120002686,0.0,0.05034410338412998,0.0,0.0,0.11582375699028008,0.1074576732455784,0.0,0.0,0.05238473871766693,0.0,0.08922136575650184,0.0,0.15679374413277922,0.08274841568314831,0.08182218925079053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0354502877691329,0.1471201596839335,0.1509090209519029,0.0,0.0,0.042146491466965724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340073713418821,0.05088421751398546,0.1008440825420084,0.0,0.05574915661583738,0.0,0.05057915371844169,0.05324306750099842,0.0,0.35268761330569376,0.0,0.0,0.110685046116958,0.14885934372587428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09631624807901147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03400966539392116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145887354853284,0.10870055138054187,0.0,0.13918016095157532,0.08764697121399942,0.0,0.0,0.0474452461628814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430528453859859,0.10320621259691776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042861509970716194,0.04774165342521729,0.1995632970891187,0.0,0.0,0.03999448790916525,0.22845291897373715,0.052358534812196274,0.0,0.05151874185259312,0.04151722577595652,0.056415036628194935,0.0,0.0,0.042525352063122766,0.038638285146811335,0.04963864232780353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016270779831497,0.0,0.0,0.10493780594413912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320864462911855,0.16136149210947787,0.13160335574275292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334054498385765,0.2572749473828561,0.04931087278277232,0.03984481141449238,0.08779760323082636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815067435875598,0.054591701568743,0.0,0.10449796008296904,0.060371720095688024,0.0,0.0,0.08282309324389447,0.08880910128473514,0.11951413084445912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04528816571135496,0.05603472058319827,0.11543076472551958,0.0967616638023294,0.0,0.036538512154379366,0.0,0.0,0.10695942060367823,0.0,0.0,0.032320355675363004
mentalhealth,Kesark,2019/04/03,"I don't know what to do with my friends everytime I talk to any of my friends I just can't stop thinking that the only think they're saying to themselves is how stupid my opinions are, how dumb the stuff I'm saying is, how annoying I am, how ugly I look and I just odn't know what to do, I just want to stop thinking at all so I can keep to my studies but they're such cool and awesome people I can't bring myself to just go away from them, I have no one else to go to and I feel like saying this stuff to them would only just make me look retarded for being dramatic

I just wanted to rant about something, and hope someone helps me find those words I need to stop thinking so much about this",2.0809234234234246,3.4523813716216267,3.1727027027027037,94.28288288288289,76.5,6.014414414414415,22.46846846846847,6.42735559955562,0.2628090090090089,545,15,125,4,12,175,83,148,0.121,0.6940000000000001,0.185,0.8508,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,0,15,8,3,0,2,1,13,0,0,5,1,37,32,11,0,5,7,0,1,1,2,1,0,3,0,0,8,5,0,4,8,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,0,7,22,5,20,30,2,8,0,0,2,0,9,2,1,2,4,87,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999108599931894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814732283540884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228316319123261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434698236848547,0.1050441907327803,0.0,0.0,0.13439034216311754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272028513105444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713050851242198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855667289910272,0.0,0.0,0.1460422088593656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069439683418296,0.0,0.0,0.16161680833577252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183548607447454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469502785234249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814920686520286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809006877193628,0.10902703616127787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963695730284196,0.22365850554383884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193784320951772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3507922729784381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458507423477973,0.11319726680157173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3687918076318972,0.0,0.0,0.3366473492551178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818381564045465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37686482137601895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17345399766645006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445178941915573,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fizzie_lilian,2019/04/03,"Help??? #nsfw Hi Reddit. I didn't really know where to post this so I'm sorry to the mods. I feel like I'm all out of options and figured I'd turn to the internet for help. This is going to get a bit long so I apologize in advance. Just a heads up I'm going to mention marijuana, depression, and overall mental health. I also apologize for any spelling errors, I'm a little drunk right now. 
I'm going to leave out my identity and all that stuff but I am a 19y/o female. I was diagnosed with severe depression and general anxiety. I am also diagnosed with ADHD. I have been steadily going downhill since I was 14 years old and I have ended up in the lowest point of my life. I dropped out of High School about a year ago because of failing grades and being unable to graduate the next year(I was a Junior), along with deteriorating/ unstable mental health. I'm hired part time (15hrs a week) at a local store (Ocean State Job Lot) and live with my parents. I've become dependent on smoking pot daily and have found myself to be smoking it whenever I can. I also tend to spend my time sleeping and exploring the world and people I made up in my head. I have no close friends and have a rocky relationship with my parents. I've never had a physical relationship or even taken a girl out(lesbian)so needless to say I feel very isolates and alone. I don't leave my house very often anymore since all the plans I make seem to fall through. I feel like a worthless person who is never going to amount to anything in this world. When I'm in bed I feel like I'm being sucked into nothingness and feel like I'm empty inside. I just remembered I have a binge eating disorder and Hypothyroidism so I'm 205lbs. I've gained a lot of that weight too because of bad medications. I seem to only have bad reactions to medications. I don't know what to do /r. I'm so scared of how I feel. The only reason I'm typing this is because I feel hopelessly lost. No doctor or medication has ever worked. It's clear I've got an addiction, I feel alone.... I really don't know what to do... If anyone has any advice, please let me know.. I don't know what to do. I've even been in a partial hospitalization program but that didn't help. Please help. 
#NSFW",1.9973378076062644,4.266469718120806,4.070129753914991,83.5741431767338,80.00671140939598,7.015838926174498,23.1324384787472,8.094773233980128,1.4677101565995527,1752,59,342,34,45,598,217,447,0.17800000000000002,0.737,0.085,-0.9919,4,2,0,0,0,1,60.0,0,0,0,6,19,15,1,1,23,0,34,16,3,5,7,68,76,28,0,1,7,2,9,4,1,0,10,1,1,2,14,25,3,0,20,1,2,8,11,10,0,0,13,10,38,5,50,59,8,50,0,6,0,0,17,24,1,10,19,207,52,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907100138862007,0.08716982669277754,0.07087780318063802,0.06429557933562913,0.0,0.0,0.15024334403126566,0.0,0.17401235645892807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864901253919693,0.0,0.05548707287695269,0.0,0.07193263184438654,0.05071632720387213,0.0,0.05968796934101811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112301678381962,0.13264519857003082,0.08010631615073095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918657424697766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494406681409115,0.14723767968633844,0.0,0.0,0.08312839244961498,0.07423996533578579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421873341393324,0.0,0.0,0.064242160747362,0.0,0.0,0.09581390706216396,0.065609691102874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933964091947208,0.2072685896988541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952801190298281,0.05603833757748128,0.0,0.03789517536913286,0.0,0.2061091179422305,0.0,0.05801077098396661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887829684071918,0.15419705831019911,0.0,0.0,0.19446770406536712,0.0766344427501852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369262920234494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197719613702629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19930949835079806,0.0,0.0,0.15360263709881408,0.0,0.0741692737138803,0.051231765683916616,0.14174263026943046,0.07269650062595487,0.0640474212106539,0.0641888746567628,0.0,0.0,0.07917766191973409,0.12332887295808274,0.0,0.0686318925898282,0.04841592748989434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21920622896212288,0.14619116034653198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188288729597194,0.0,0.07713900997452489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611053251990997,0.0,0.0,0.11032828825382733,0.0,0.0,0.16107725077492074,0.07854550031169852,0.0,0.050284820254191946,0.06333247731842649,0.0,0.15923754637855744,0.06856654451050563,0.0,0.06946597112317679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929322010352654,0.07457536784078837,0.0,0.15574526525301458,0.08216504824418336,0.061942256998843474,0.0,0.05768066054731291,0.07261756668101582,0.07340664181402783,0.0,0.13206151093487234,0.0,0.08194094492263525,0.0,0.11999907005844275,0.0,0.07258476294199209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119406213085466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303222293780697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845884292134045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889440224774101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969362093537005,0.0,0.0,0.058181100891407135,0.0883248996281627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05280443716911157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012542574247847
mentalhealth,DoctorMcBuggets,2019/04/03,"Intense anger / sadness. Every now and then, I start thinking about things that stir up extreme anger and sadness and it's hard to get rid of. When this happens, my whole thought process about everything just changes and as of right now I struggle to put a comprehensive thought together. If you were able to ask me about my views on something, I would struggle to tell you. I just want to understand what this situation I am experiencing is. I'm not sure if this is normal or not because, if I had to endure this experience for an extended amount of time, I would probably go crazy.

​

Not that this is important, but I do have intermittent explosive disorder",5.851626016260159,7.5614310731707315,5.9530081300813045,76.72430894308944,67.53658536585365,9.694308943089432,36.430894308943095,9.994966539143718,3.855513821138212,534,28,96,13,9,169,83,123,0.161,0.797,0.042,-0.9124,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,0,8,7,2,2,2,0,10,0,0,0,1,23,21,12,0,7,10,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,4,3,13,1,16,15,2,11,0,2,1,0,4,3,0,4,6,70,23,0,0.17121455609261324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855108999936605,0.20804442601956724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006249768044206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104370804238002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112229810601432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622671461563526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425564793127987,0.0,0.15387660303773287,0.1674806893560806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08945253893818952,0.0,0.09730517786842563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140446650794304,0.0,0.15337461229288196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775391267843962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459824973500308,0.0,0.0,0.17211791865078588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621629540265085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245233465678774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180933006648393,0.0,0.0,0.12118654403883562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579812573872771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136769287624655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496490686119815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374734323073345,0.10970737420337713,0.0,0.2718504653720665,0.09983658452859008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17824039109803802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098678119960934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911549374531057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24325181652518854,0.0,0.20804442601956724,0.0
mentalhealth,SirenChaser,2019/04/03,"BPD - possible psychosis. Need advice I’ve been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder for about 10ish years now. I believe I’m now experiencing a psychotic episode. I am able to function “normally” but something is off. When you get sick and your ears get muffled, you know how everything you hear is muffled? It’s sort of like that, but my brain is muffled. I have to concentrate really hard to do simple tasks. This is day 7 of this happening. I have an appointment with mental health next Tuesday, but really looking for anyone who has experienced something similar and how you coped/stopped it. I’m not depressed or sad or manic, just out of it...almost an out of body experience, but I’m not watching myself. It’s like I’m trapped deep inside my own body and it’s hard to get any part of me to the surface. Like I’m here, but there’s layers and layers of water between me and everything else...if any of that even makes sense. ANY advice or insight is appreciated. ",3.4908888888888896,6.0158078216216255,4.874549549549549,78.42035285285287,76.18918918918921,8.21921921921922,29.196696696696698,8.998388855275968,2.827606606606607,777,35,139,19,18,258,111,185,0.079,0.815,0.106,0.7372,0,1,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,5,0,0,10,5,0,0,4,0,11,8,4,3,0,28,25,16,0,2,11,0,2,3,0,0,3,2,0,1,9,9,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,8,14,3,21,24,2,12,0,2,2,0,8,5,0,4,10,85,23,0,0.13857684824897734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27083138456146005,0.0,0.0,0.13876469613709436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28271102643574164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968961543678948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15612865357863126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078552769808429,0.17453268925703955,0.1546975927611865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937060294396952,0.0,0.1193560363381993,0.14065258395297248,0.0,0.0,0.15882107382842692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152870131906696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24908787143884675,0.13555474839988213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21720205098481168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254304924950125,0.0,0.2482752735282583,0.0,0.0,0.14730070954309554,0.15618617943515434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615821169996759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031049448024142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636965105807075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250112227305422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965286941241392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027529770757483,0.0,0.0,0.14737805023285425,0.0,0.13577588863319354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500652224383629,0.0,0.0,0.12099995873279484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622457484666374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17755175490258693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21336645606863275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585645019665546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892389468519028
mentalhealth,spajetti_rocket,2019/04/03,"How do I get through the night? I reduced my meds a month ago and it was going less than stellar. I’ve been staying at my boyfriend’s house for the past three days after a bout of self destructive behavior (reckless spending, skipping lectures, cutting myself, ignoring friends, putting myself on r/roastme) He’s been great in holding me while I cry and making sure I’m safe when I dissociate. I had to go back to my parents’ house to get my meds and try get back to normal. Now I’m regretting coming home. It’s 12am and my head is burning with intense feelings of self-hatred and regret. I want to reach out to my boyfriend or my mom or someone for help but I’m so sick of putting all my shit onto other people. I’m experiencing suicidal ideation and nausea, and I’m finding it painful just being conscious right now. 
How am I supposed to cope and get through the night? ",5.2736363636363635,5.837327861271678,5.617624802942724,82.79898581187601,68.07514450867052,7.90940620073568,35.38045191802417,7.686295010490155,2.534831213872832,692,34,135,7,11,221,110,173,0.181,0.7440000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.9756,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,0,9,11,3,0,5,0,8,4,2,3,2,30,23,16,1,4,4,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,4,11,0,3,3,0,1,5,0,7,0,1,4,2,18,4,22,18,2,25,0,2,0,0,6,6,1,2,13,81,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237759044194042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21231182902058213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892231638500607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164713655517967,0.08903417236791007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980484889586884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617993668209773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066610923482878,0.0,0.2885125415444783,0.0,0.15691988458625852,0.0,0.0,0.1522063272389864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416844472413905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253547945367116,0.0,0.13848060543000626,0.0,0.0,0.3185942923406597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215290703417996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066963732164525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616885624306381,0.11019433038452048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25911087528986715,0.1352647679858763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469004489089541,0.0,0.1532939436002836,0.0,0.1317892939659384,0.09571008150328658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775671811260557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789837242905545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880433303140969,0.0,0.14171166200545074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697370901398915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714845683521874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15100996353821936,0.0,0.1301153766777505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093730407448658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142852414292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrWhoTheFuckAmI,2019/04/03,"I got denied mental health care (Polyclinic/Institution) and now I dont know what to do. I dont really know how to start this so ill just get into it.
Tried to seek help and my doctor wrote a letter to a local mental health center but I got rejected. Feel like killing myself now almost more than ever. I guess my doctor didnt fully understand the severity of my state. I told him everything was getting worse and i dont know my self anymore, but he kept implying that my problems where most popular amongst women. (Like hitting and punishing myself) I just felt way worse leaving from that doctor appointment. My life has just gone down hill since age 15. Tried to kill myself at 16 but my weak ass chickend out. Was diagnosed with major depression and GAD later that year but i left the clinic because they kept switch therapists and it was a mess. My mind is a fucking cluster of emotions and self hatred. Ive pushed eveyone away and my anxiety is at its peak. Paranoid to shit and my self destructive behaviour is ruining my life. I cant find the courage to keep going like this, especially after i got denied help. I took me so long to seek help again and this is the 2nd time it goes to shit. I just want to find out what the hell is up with me but it looks like suicide is going to be the end of my short dark tunnel.

Sorry for venting and thanks to whoever takes their time to read this. Feel free to ask me anything, this is a throwaway.",3.8770629370629375,5.401537545454545,4.786993006993008,83.89664335664337,72.14685314685316,7.997202797202798,26.28671328671329,8.575989854853784,1.825348251748252,1142,38,223,20,22,371,161,286,0.287,0.618,0.095,-0.9976,0,1,0,0,0,3,26.0,0,0,2,0,13,23,8,0,11,0,19,15,3,1,1,46,50,19,3,2,9,0,3,4,0,0,11,0,0,4,15,16,0,3,9,1,1,5,5,14,0,0,14,4,35,10,31,34,3,33,1,3,1,2,15,13,5,3,17,140,50,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245525675824777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063227276041434,0.0,0.0915666480384396,0.0,0.0,0.07597980416734453,0.0,0.08631617860497019,0.0,0.086747167017106,0.0,0.0,0.05628357116941673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413668906784996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952377868786388,0.09371310661204156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835113050358249,0.0,0.0,0.3246305639913587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038589337070092,0.08177706239232521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351786024073342,0.0,0.0,0.0829803392013042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336974418853937,0.06596064093496601,0.08865137401173882,0.0,0.16877607495875266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535768842874536,0.09647733153673343,0.0,0.1049466456389764,0.0,0.2215344432531807,0.0,0.10171201306726936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962851546624537,0.0,0.0,0.18566075670133955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206723400555753,0.20429914866205834,0.0,0.1522266227574128,0.0,0.0,0.0977642430728111,0.1003169223541466,0.0,0.13043095842552813,0.18043128973789188,0.0,0.0,0.08170923186008781,0.0775340289493529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18609404636745008,0.0,0.09322707929954432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834743497056463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235508450133333,0.0,0.05914902545233176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889612880628322,0.10430673077414487,0.18955103892166367,0.07637641172890686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335598627936693,0.06535171905575833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099414215850157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06942074357380278,0.0,0.0,0.08500514991109931,0.0,0.10720236089222693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767684606152378,0.0,0.0,0.08822536599421342,0.10258213688213552,0.12537215257386933,0.0,0.0,0.09611888890646668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054458684383204066,0.07328733470822851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18818451704203454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945755637930417
mentalhealth,LilDikB,2019/04/03,"Anxiety Lately my anxiety has been getting worse. Today when I was out to get lunch I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me. The way I walk, the way I look or even the way I talk when I was ordering my food. Does this happen to anyone else? Is there a way we’re I can stop my anxiety or whatever this is. I don’t want to see a therapist or go on any medication",0.4954629629629643,2.3283139012345657,3.655046296296295,86.89145833333335,82.82716049382717,8.000617283950618,23.70524691358025,8.841846274778883,1.8259246913580247,290,11,66,8,8,105,54,81,0.136,0.8140000000000001,0.05,-0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,9,3,0,0,0,8,18,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,4,13,1,6,13,0,15,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,3,6,43,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113810276506511,0.0,0.38408893981500697,0.0,0.0,0.11702173339391365,0.17147970215825395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645752600323902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398074823568076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053944662224796,0.0,0.0,0.1599192831887274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606914749051072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20237190953006295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487698157384296,0.0,0.09511432542397874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799555392163008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18878893423184367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176345372597768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28107985028087723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16859720395218367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336394421324116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399201311478509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451731824101076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431741106235387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863734519922307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987130364586342,0.5313690864879358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17055374456906675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,takaiishi,2019/04/03,"I almost got into a head on collision an hour ago. I’m still freaking the fuck out. I just got my license two days ago on Monday. I’m 16. I had to pull over because I started to have a panic attack on the side of the road. Driving makes me anxious enough as it is but christ that was scary. 

I turned onto a one way and a truck was barreling down the wrong way going well over the speed limit and coming directly towards me. If I didn’t swerve out of the way and slam on the brakes who knows what would have happened. ",2.7965366972477064,3.766918137614681,4.013658256880735,90.55424885321102,74.04587155963304,6.55091743119266,23.716743119266056,6.6274283507984215,0.5745678899082574,403,11,89,3,8,132,76,109,0.209,0.767,0.024,-0.9571,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,1,12,0,8,2,1,1,0,16,20,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,2,1,0,0,4,1,5,1,2,6,0,9,1,17,13,1,29,1,0,0,1,1,14,1,2,8,61,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32425952746905184,0.0,0.18314787286473505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20662487495666426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807508921956605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149410751044206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575521056480597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795533216644555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889845331412347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690880499012937,0.0,0.0,0.10394625241983876,0.0,0.2925635849578948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173781537511012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18770810793992385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011960126280635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051702531205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122087132055355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393773472395235,0.0,0.0,0.21459367487290315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945752088940227,0.0,0.14606413057561374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989426167175812,0.17866666770719228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43553238389142857,0.0,0.0,0.1644490139705936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299268717041022,0.1999723753296115,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gustahe-v,2019/04/03,"Lost and alone prodrome stage of schizophrenia So this is just gonna be a big blurb about me and my story, I want an opinion on what I’ve been dealing with over the past few months,


to start off with this I’m very concerned about myself and having psychosis or on the road to it. My life for the past year and half has been a reckless journey of pot smoking, mental strain, pain and agony. I’m 16 and my girlfriend and I have smoked pot daily for over a year. I think weed is becoming my everything and really the reason I’ve abused it so much is because my girlfriend and I have quite a few sever mental issues already and have seemed marijuana as a means to alleviate those symptoms. I’ve been so depressed and anxious for a lot of my life and weed has helped through a lot of that stress. I believe weed isn’t productive for my well being and I realize that but my addiction is so out of control that I have no will to even try to stop, this is consequently on the way to explaining my first reason to why I think psychosis is overcoming me.  Psychosis is characterized by three stages, the prodrome stage, the active phase, and recovery. I feel as if I am in the late prodrome stage and have been for quite some time. My belief is that since weed can cause acute schizophrenia in young individuals who are susceptible to it and the prodrome phases of schizophrenia correlate with my behaviour over the last few months i must be on the way to a dark awakening.  Consistently throughout almost everyday my symptoms are as follows
I have little to no emotion 
My school is painful and my drive to do well has suddenly fallen completely away from me
My grades have went from an honour role student in 9th grade to having a 60% average and now increasingly going down as the days go 
I’ve noticed a drastic change in my self care, I rarely remember to brush my teeth and frequently Miss days to shower
I cannot fathom the possibility to make friends because I have lost almost every one of them and only have my girlfriend for support, who believes I don’t have psychosis so for her I have little support in this arena
My ability to control my anger and irritabile behaviours has decreased drastically, I frequently respond to stress in a negative and emotional way like smashing things and yelling and throwing fits to my parents and being completely in the wrong but so emotionally charged and out of control that it feels right I can’t seem to figure out my emotions and I feel trapped in my own head racing thoughts about becoming psychotic and nobody ever understanding me 
I feel like a failure and my family hates me, I’ve had concurrent thoughts about being kicked out of my house because of my lack of care towards things and disrespectmy parents feel like I’m doing to them when I’m very internally struggling.
My family believes I don’t care and have mentioned to me frequently on how I show no care and no remorse towards my actions. They feel as if I don’t care about them and when they talk to me they always get very angry because of the blank stare my dad calls it when i talk to him. I can never understand what I’m doing wrong and am always battling with what to say and feel like whatever I do and say I am being judged by someone. My parents don’t get my pain and get extremely agitated to the point of yelling at me because of my complaints about myself and what I believe is happening.  I can’t get out of my head half the time and I can hardly finish a simple task without becoming distracted. 
I’ve also experienced a few psychotic episodes well on weed but when I was on a much bigger dose than I was use to at the time and I became extremely transient and everything was fuzzy and lucid at the same time, I couldn’t walk and I was pale as a ghost, I sat down and I couldn’t see or talk all I could do was try to make out where I was and what was happening and my anxiety was through the roof my heart was beating faster than I’ve ever known, I remember laying down and trying to remember how to breath and then becoming startled by myself when I looked in the mirror, my body felt crippled and the dizziness was so extreme I almost threw up. I’m sorry for how long this got but someone please help I need someone’s opinion on this because nobody understands me and I’ve never fully explained it in such depth.

Edit: I’ve also went to the doctor numerous times and been diagnosed with the most extreme levels of anxiety and depression and he seemed to dismiss when I mentioned psychosis as a risk factor, he prescribed me with 100 mg Zoloft and I’ve been on them for a month now.
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mentalhealth,gayslp23,2019/04/03,"Depression and hair Does anyone else have trouble keeping up with basic hygiene like brushing their hair when they’re feeling depressed/anxious?

My hair is completely tangled in  knots. I hide it well under a bun, but I feel like a piece of shit for not taking care of it. It’s impossible to get through and some parts are completely matted. This doesn’t even include other parts of my self care I’ve neglected as well. 

 I look like I have my shit together on the outside but I constantly feel overwhelmed with work, life, past trauma, etc. I have a great life with a great job that I do well in,  awesome girlfriend, friends/family but my mental health gets so bad that I can barely take care of myself. I just get so ashamed. 

Anyone else deal with this or have tips on how to get my hair back to normal? ",4.2723076923076935,5.894951615384617,4.456923076923079,86.26307692307694,71.30769230769229,7.2512820512820495,27.743589743589745,7.793537801064563,1.6248820512820514,636,23,123,8,12,198,99,156,0.237,0.586,0.17800000000000002,-0.9378,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,10,20,2,2,5,0,9,9,6,1,0,20,23,11,0,1,6,0,7,3,1,0,3,0,0,1,8,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,9,3,0,0,9,16,11,20,23,5,10,0,3,1,0,4,6,2,2,7,80,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363459830570434,0.23978462262042616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997477224028642,0.09769987935700804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579036703312479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453690759866041,0.12644807521741444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063392157130437,0.10078200310926658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239772451376852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19549651634862827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304989727252236,0.07728512226049099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030821409386246,0.0,0.17749388933193752,0.08359317966880589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445351286707071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580116179118913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243779621258944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611605400473438,0.1040053725965518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652976439811992,0.17149801389670666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826035527459352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792026906338735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464661905846585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25342453014310684,0.11170090487180476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206871920373323,0.0,0.2402216507964201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759564676161523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156227042472742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851859089696333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cybersecp,2019/04/03,"Britney Spears checks into psychiatric hospital, according to reports [https://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/ny-britney-spears-mental-hospital-20190403-fjll3v4havclfldwbj6mr4ljvu-story.html](https://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/ny-britney-spears-mental-hospital-20190403-fjll3v4havclfldwbj6mr4ljvu-story.html)

​

What did Kevin Federline (her ex) do now?",74.08947368421053,90.02661794736844,39.02,-150.84999999999997,-77.84210526315789,18.126315789473683,61.105263157894754,15.903189008614273,11.133905263157894,347,8,10,5,1,76,19,19,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37862127743995794,0.4246114182319379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7043125835052636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246114182319379,0.0
mentalhealth,Pink_Goose124,2019/04/03,"Recently been diagnosed with BPD (boderline personality disorder) and I don't know how I feel. I've been surfering with BPD for almost 2 years now but have only recently been diognosed properly for about 2 weeks waist in the past I've been treated for depression and anxiety. It's good to get come clarity as I believed there was no hope for me and that I was going crazy. My mood constantly switches which is the hardest part of it, as for one hour I'll be convinced I need to kill myself and the next I'll be fine as if nothing happend. Its confusing and the issue is now that the idea of having BPD is making me suicidal and depressed. I have lost time with friends, family and my university life is almost non exisitent where I am close to failing. Its got to the point where even when I'm ""myself"" and not in any of these states that I can't focus anymore. I've lost sense of who I am and I'm 19. I know there is time to recover with being young, but its also came at a bad time with university. I don't know what to do as the treatment avalible to me therpy which I'm unsure if it will help. It helps to vent but in the end it doesn't offer much way of development. I'm scared that one day I may give in and finally kill myself. I know this is mainly venting but there arn't many people I can talk to about this.

(P.S sorry for spelling mistakes I'm highly dyslexic)",5.021004814737285,5.112557476868329,6.183872723466611,80.16796734352106,68.53736654804271,9.601088549298725,30.052543437303747,9.478462496947786,2.493699853464518,1085,38,223,21,17,365,152,281,0.199,0.7070000000000001,0.095,-0.989,0,0,0,0,0,2,23.0,0,0,0,3,13,18,2,2,9,0,28,3,1,2,0,40,49,23,3,5,7,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,19,18,1,0,6,0,0,3,6,11,0,2,10,1,22,6,36,34,3,33,0,5,0,0,8,10,0,7,18,148,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170774686971531,0.0,0.0,0.08668088634316777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371014350174157,0.0,0.08291943323054922,0.0,0.10749554362951036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050262864974724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212044508950586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095470473778925,0.0,0.0,0.12397134764860936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336994131306836,0.0,0.11713303302104937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699037464249856,0.0,0.18671540358092306,0.11001539923403897,0.0,0.0,0.12422639778772372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600296578069636,0.0,0.0,0.0715917641467365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218214600525556,0.0,0.05480615281386023,0.0,0.0,0.1187379229204935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374323874339733,0.0,0.05663024378216822,0.10397929497936334,0.06160155999332567,0.09091390241858206,0.08669082728376705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453054825806482,0.11452189184453718,0.0,0.10765751831526736,0.10674409288320813,0.0,0.0,0.12236115300181966,0.0,0.1131328820992476,0.0,0.0,0.23983894266015715,0.0,0.2382772027259389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765603365549884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366449160316548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723523707169807,0.10989227629345276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968044751855986,0.0803711490949513,0.0,0.0,0.11527591302640305,0.0,0.0,0.10400485909543916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689818292241374,0.0824368511165771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737776081825375,0.10347224152154033,0.075145228958537,0.09464354221705246,0.0,0.0,0.10246528992431136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21404765954852292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851910471335244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133575019368033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856304066265108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712122609109994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18961239739007668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860363686384119,0.08694536692074703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980076788649563
mentalhealth,NOT_SELLING_KIDNEYS,2019/04/03,"I have almost no feelings toward other people. As the title says, I have no feelings toward other people. I can feel a wide variety of feelings - albeit a bit suppressed - outside of interacting with people, but I'm emotionally dead when it comes to people.

See a hurt animal? I feel pity.

A family member just died? I feel nothing.

A puppy runs up to me and licks my face? I feel happy.

Someone tells me I mean a lot to them, and they hug me? I feel nothing.

I'm out eating by myself? I feel at rest and relaxed.

I'm out eating with friends? I feel nothing.

Sure, ""nothing"" is a bit exaggerated, but it's a good enough approximation. I don't know what this is, but it doesn't seem right to me.",0.7188827761320341,3.1270868129496385,3.4736436732966567,84.72149386373258,87.34532374100719,5.2849767245027515,20.406686415573425,6.794906146795322,0.6062066017774009,533,17,104,7,17,187,80,139,0.17600000000000002,0.679,0.145,-0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,0,2,8,0,0,9,0,7,4,1,0,1,29,25,8,2,0,4,0,10,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,7,8,2,1,13,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,13,19,6,16,25,5,11,0,2,1,1,6,8,0,3,1,71,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642629370494442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538705828156891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001551775573223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206685392500228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379437838650614,0.0,0.13078662202272134,0.0,0.12013663285864895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096077691859083,0.0,0.5878894094943203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982889811880257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752065719556928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377017788537352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446803271802274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389822894624203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884747873489914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665068400963292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44625175867257616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224242681568236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929282226662167,0.0,0.09246152551484542,0.0,0.0,0.09265108910821088,0.10584664467233268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851408004790382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095818602448702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162395601075774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Auradeus,2019/04/03,"Disturbing dreams I’ve struggled with mental heath my whole life. Diagnosed with anxiety. Medicated and have it under control. Only gets bad for me when stress in my life mounts up. 

I’ve never slept well. Recently I’ve taken major strides to improve my sleep. Including:
- Consistent sleep schedule (sleep hygiene)
- Stopped drinking before bed. Never drank heavy but used to have one or two before bed to come down. 
- Improved diet. Cut out all sugar. No big meals before bed. 

I still sleep like crap. Wake up feeling unrefreshed. I’m not depressed, my spirits are high but I’m definitely tired. 

I’ve been evaluated for sleep apnea, no issue. 

I suspect that my anxiety is unleashed in my sleep. Whenever I do remember my dreams, which is fairly infrequent, it is always very disturbing or stressful. Not to get too Freudian, but I think I can’t apply the coping strategies I am able to apply in my conscious state in my subconscious state. I’ve tried lucid dreaming and I’m just too gullible, even the most insane dreams I think are really happening. 

How can I take control of my mind when I’m asleep? I feel like if I could have peaceful dreams I would sleep better. ",3.034289803220034,6.000277153488373,3.825697674418606,82.36266100178892,82.11627906976744,6.656529516994635,26.408765652951693,7.882392219407189,2.1076618962432923,928,39,156,18,26,295,133,215,0.195,0.64,0.165,-0.5312,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,3,9,13,2,5,2,0,15,21,11,4,3,34,32,11,0,3,9,0,2,2,0,1,5,0,3,0,4,6,5,3,7,6,0,1,7,9,1,2,4,3,22,4,19,26,4,22,1,1,0,0,0,11,1,4,10,90,26,0,0.09759648232741758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120809158760188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493220836943103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148898613560343,0.0,0.0,0.2491422544201538,0.0,0.0,0.08631615752458982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840707277419393,0.0,0.0,0.2189255074550692,0.07792284964039801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840597072190783,0.09905837517251516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560739731199384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446155612291264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986954278218502,0.06972294647540636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198026773963408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630424700480277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311604199762248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186537118767096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787056347747326,0.09536142295287156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831818827417993,0.09835429924841282,0.0,0.09854462552098826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15054484760638287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613390224187342,0.07422652267592802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252280567970048,0.0,0.0963647521709673,0.0,0.11055778917976687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6836687573782988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794067685719136,0.08159502930691499,0.2235928815239266,0.10202903379676913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338040867812948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250717702043468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217279941283154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626160509896263,0.0,0.09533758191035567,0.0,0.0,0.08429202513748649,0.0,0.08052731905060598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775095847868418,0.0,0.0,0.1089629871472448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932974086552281,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yurios02,2019/04/03,"Not feeling 100% at the moment. Hi, I am 16 years old and I'll try to explain my situation as best as I can and I hope someone could give me some advice. 
The last couple of months I feel like I'm not really there in the moment, days go by very fast, after I been to work for 6 hours it only felt like 10 minutes and I feel like I forgot a lot of details. I tried to google this and the thing that came up was depersonalization disorder but I don't feel like I'm watching myself from a distance but I do feel like something is odd in my life. I cannot really point out why I am feeling so different and I am not sure if I have been feeling like this all my life and I am only now realizing it, I really could not say since when I have been feeling so strange. I also feel like my memory has gotten a lot worse. I honestly feel like something is wrong and if someone could give me some advice, I would be really grateful.

",1.6236018099547531,3.2395519333333347,3.890708898944194,87.59850678733031,78.38461538461539,6.844645550527903,22.23981900452489,7.724431198458867,0.8816515837104077,717,21,158,11,17,248,105,195,0.12,0.71,0.17,0.9011,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,6,13,0,0,7,0,22,2,0,0,2,42,43,17,0,7,8,0,11,8,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,9,0,1,13,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,8,13,27,12,16,30,6,20,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,7,20,105,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764927859701894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221801515302324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947710211897717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328649187530672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163069953088703,0.09992234120190877,0.0,0.05824017302484141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435099299986384,0.1034989864123194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4566164169942449,0.4516044946184078,0.08670832958718883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326030263907682,0.051323222231893055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969465607733335,0.08893363742055066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361178911467291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757219679455922,0.35295326017988315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355058567109814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720817265693381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947614014776854,0.0,0.0,0.13736421059505552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536876089518777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23141043219488885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181529350346047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470240765811449,0.10150820497952176,0.0,0.0,0.15303268107398238,0.139044595312008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851127364849394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999557580391283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226242689142181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451225797695883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148750196640367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574415267790211,0.0,0.09202996179577566,0.06415109304211544,0.0987358987972748,0.0,0.05815437665188253
mentalhealth,LiterallyMade4Memes,2019/04/03,"I dont understand. My life is going well. I have a girlfriend who loves me, a job that I'm proud of and a father that loves me. But, theres just something in my head. It feels like it eats away at me. Something I mask in the day and rip off like a plaster when I'm alone. But what hurts the most is the fact that I dont actually have any reason for this and it holds so hard down on my heart it's like a physical slump when I think about it too hard. I just feel bad because my life isn't bad. But ignore the sadness until the point of a break down. I dont understand anymore. ",0.8833571939871163,2.2854437637795293,2.663908375089477,96.52738725841093,79.86614173228347,5.878024337866857,20.20687186828919,6.574015621080383,-0.06979685039370097,446,11,111,4,11,148,74,127,0.142,0.69,0.168,0.5389,1,1,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,9,12,0,0,11,0,8,7,2,1,1,18,18,10,0,0,5,1,4,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,11,3,1,2,6,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,0,4,14,7,13,18,1,15,0,2,0,2,5,9,0,1,7,72,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.1404573565025708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14907066118410273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787903496954033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274236318280933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135229320770128,0.0,0.2403552491858772,0.0877399154517231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928245546106064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5060634505922054,0.0,0.0,0.14727887925550034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555319235505354,0.1028254060382032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180015610229409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578704957438371,0.0,0.14771626849167227,0.0,0.0,0.1705607043122312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408271705255552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428307960995797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20332756125399293,0.21095444608688352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598093996785485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360627346415191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479865808865456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216125392578072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222613361381077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996776150035594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294126021910869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SmolSaltyBean,2019/04/03,"Help? I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad either, I just feel dull, like empty all the time? The things I used to like now just tired me down and I sometimes just cry out of nowhere. I don't know if I can call myself depressed, I've been told I am not depressed, then, what's wrong with me? I know others feel like this too, but why? ",-0.41476027397260395,1.4959599041095937,1.0619006849315085,103.70189212328769,86.94520547945206,3.65,14.60445205479452,3.1291,-1.550258904109589,255,4,65,0,8,81,49,73,0.232,0.644,0.124,-0.7705,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,1,1,18,14,4,0,1,7,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,4,12,4,5,12,2,5,0,4,0,0,3,2,0,1,6,41,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22019055429845052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368682674681711,0.0,0.0,0.3714574653314049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4361323001394232,0.15405186283657174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295507092747477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14453763648581713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370180608384411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160495702907065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21327154091214115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14326033569813265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257402784828857,0.24784421173645016,0.0,0.20605139350066734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862420358163907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945797957680052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23576635139539615,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,loondenouth,2019/04/03,"Why am I angry? I’m currently a senior in high school about to graduate. For the past 3-4 months (maybe longer I can’t remember) I’ve just been angry. I can joke around and laugh with the few friends that I like, but then I’m alone and I just feel anger. Not the kind where I want to hit or destroy things (although I’ve felt and succumbed to that sort) but the cold kind. The kind where you’re just done with everything. I’ve also lost all motivation to do anything school related or otherwise. 

I have a little get together with a buddy of mine coming up and I really just want him to cancel so I don’t have to deal with it. I also snapped at my mom for asking me for the umpteenth time if I’m sure I don’t want to go to prom. And I really don’t. I don’t want to spend 60-100 dollars to go to a dance with people I rather despise. Now don’t get me wrong, there used to be a point where I didn’t despise these people. But that’s long past and I’d rather not have anything to do with the lot. Maybe except for a select few, other than that, fuck em. 

Can anyone give me any advice, usually I’m good at pinpointing what I’m angry at and cope correctly. But it seems like I’m just pissed off at everything lately. I don’t want to start down a path I’ll regret. 


Tldr: I’m angry all the time, what the fuck do I do? 



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mentalhealth,KaitTheFluff,2019/04/03,"Just feelin' down I feel bad for posting this in a place for such important matters and I'm here posting just because I'm a little bit sad, so I'm just going to get this out of the way. I'm not depressed, I don't suffer from any mental illness. I just need somewhere to vent a bit.

I've just been feeling very sad and unmotivated from time to time for no reason at all, I just have random spurts of sadness and I'm just feeling unproductive all the time.

These random sadness episodes just stick around for a few hours at most, they're not suicidal thoughts, they're not telling me mean things, they're just stopping me from doing anything, like getting out of bed, doing homework, doing work in general, etc.

I can still feel happiness, I'm still my usual happy extroverted self when I'm with my friends and I love them with all of my heart, they make me feel genuinely happy whenever I'm with them, but when I'm not, I just do nothing but sleep and get nothing done.

Nothing is triggering this (i think), i have great friends, a lovely family, decent marks and a mediocre school. It's just that I'm stressed out from time to time I don't know what I'm stressed out about, I just am.

There are times where I manage to be productive, it's just that some minor activities are becoming more draining then usual, like doing schoolwork, washing the dishes, doing the laundry and getting up in general.

I'm also losing interest in the things I love the most, like drawing, playing video games, listening to music, etc.
I really want to get back into art again, because I want to be an professional artist when I grow up, but now I don't even know if I want to work in the art department in general.

Everything is seeming to get harder to do, the episodes of sadness I have are getting more frequent and I really want it all to stop.

Is there anyone who had the same problem? If so, how did you stop having these problems? I really want to get back on my feet and manage to do something.

Thanks for reading!",4.754113555179547,5.750739197969544,5.465070501974058,81.87174186877235,69.45685279187816,8.273585260387291,30.582440308328643,8.515128840125781,2.286099755593157,1580,63,305,24,27,513,183,394,0.106,0.725,0.16899999999999998,0.9778,0,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,3,4,34,28,0,2,16,0,29,9,3,4,4,80,73,22,1,10,22,0,5,3,2,0,2,1,2,1,14,18,1,3,12,7,0,3,8,13,0,0,5,6,32,15,50,66,15,50,0,8,0,3,14,21,0,8,26,206,46,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642508086298981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05463645474808891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056178166307800086,0.0,0.06611599958205526,0.07152290544403035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355865497290837,0.06708361346071967,0.09795351827224356,0.0887332778048129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17542897061568088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919989036705122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221947522540113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920887315183665,0.053066240225764914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220771535378885,0.0,0.07574086728167677,0.0,0.20312088308853787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241466494758331,0.0,0.3358100369677965,0.0,0.04566116256316202,0.0,0.0,0.0885791863730417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565820111002905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520764284054688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912233680974183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830956626701841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775558526012204,0.0805254703429743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988402227173058,0.0,0.0,0.2175399131144268,0.0,0.053630027575538065,0.0,0.0,0.08751781666532144,0.0,0.0,0.0809675283234105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957381768595337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312757718650377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394204108808616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389406503366493,0.0,0.0,0.1537560944675347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036541808981397,0.0,0.1544106483930421,0.0826066800970026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131208940561288,0.0,0.0731418650875037,0.08381597632055808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040169919197443,0.0,0.0,0.06185248698322514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832512679576158,0.201512731937758,0.18406681869571287,0.0,0.0,0.08788294118309113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022391407122383,0.0739696623015291,0.0,0.0,0.10675353653655148,0.05148098341335575,0.0,0.06378390422866206,0.2810942613192661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769744163799168,0.06629194692923879,0.23694390854107406,0.06377307027887448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698230596042232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,printszamundast,2019/04/03,"advice needed - having panic attacks and test anxiety The past year I have been feeling under a lot of pressure, as academic pressure and expectations around me have started to suffocate me. I have been a straight A student my whole life, and even though I have felt stressed, I have reached a point where I am not sure what to do anymore. It started out with a panic attack during an exam. I was allowed to resit the exam, as my professors know my anxiety is not behind not knowing the content. Yet, these past months, it has become more and more recurring - I have not been able to sit through any exams the past months, without my hands and body starting to shake, having hot flashes, sweating, fast heartbeat etc, making me unable to finish and sit through. I have tried to get help from a school councellor, who told me if my problems didn't disappear, I could never obtain my degree, making my anxiety even greater. I have reached a point where I can not even open a textbook without getting anxiety - I feel as if I can't do anything or help myself, I feel worthless. I have always demanded maximum performance from myself, and always reached as high as I could, yet now I feel very frustrated and beat myself up for feeling anxious and not being able to make my panic attacks disappear. If anyone has encountered anything like this or knows what steps I should take in order to change my thinking, please let me know. 

I have booked an appointment with another counsellor, yet it will not take place until 3 weeks, yet I feel my problems have gotten unbearable and I need change quicker.",8.667857142857144,8.028998778911562,8.068285714285718,72.12671428571431,61.21088435374151,10.697142857142858,39.32789115646258,9.888512548439397,3.9961336054421768,1267,58,211,21,15,399,157,294,0.17,0.747,0.08199999999999999,-0.9795,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,3,12,16,4,7,14,0,32,4,3,4,2,56,58,22,0,11,14,0,9,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,15,0,0,12,1,0,4,12,14,0,0,8,9,39,2,31,44,6,40,0,1,0,0,4,13,0,6,21,164,47,10,0.17434781374467528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851853328827646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507134774772756,0.0,0.0,0.059281245993831215,0.0914094421886064,0.2667512006074501,0.09848170169966222,0.08645309128981757,0.060954022579430736,0.0,0.14347339531538528,0.0776032590578985,0.0,0.2975187117032686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627673123447067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683055858460744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18443686924675748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920254246440042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972219495442548,0.17273262999744762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644664795849045,0.0,0.08370062129157768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910895367409514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168616644588711,0.0921040187902298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916339976896752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914122598985583,0.061573508462638385,0.04258876757370519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741121382544513,0.0,0.0,0.17456777926129774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916276155583185,0.0,0.0,0.12927669473855033,0.06723389108083817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068393911415543,0.0,0.0,0.2496520741284387,0.0,0.0,0.09107817866131186,0.09569077191290268,0.1648150381823315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682731156709055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822464774757624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18510641989763066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985741579237584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821603755663669,0.0,0.13108785808285794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055857519595709774,0.08564792089597137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329840377222658,0.0,0.05918536052078448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192760275976119,0.0,0.0,0.06992564984398568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732655386327567,0.0,0.16806507083362468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056137137916980086
mentalhealth,MizzyDixxy,2019/04/03,"Feeling worse on Venlafaxine 1 month in? I've been using Venlafaxine for a bit over a month now.

 This past week has been absolutely horrible for me, the urge to selfharm have been greater than before, I've been feeling suicidal, and I've felt absolutely worthless and useless an unwanted. Is this normal? 

When I first started Venlafaxine I felt great, I had more energy and all.. and now this.  I have an appointment this Friday (5.4)  with my doctor so I'm gonns see what they say.",2.5999090909090903,5.474342122222222,3.72757575757576,82.91045454545456,83.33333333333333,7.717171717171718,25.959595959595962,8.575989854853784,2.4417777777777783,381,16,69,10,11,123,61,90,0.199,0.6809999999999999,0.12,-0.8725,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,4,3,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,1,1,13,17,6,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,7,6,7,1,8,10,4,12,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,9,46,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19306661065395536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24770502862254726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23223144722843744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22944472162244325,0.0,0.4356998085053597,0.0,0.0,0.1929924500114349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25014693774797736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622027389123703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22230394826970615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21659210173165086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18043197104697206,0.0,0.0,0.1808018906713696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16059385314388705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248180746712372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959600426229756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18199740800312966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23122021218766176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SwimmingSusan,2019/04/03,Some other people who feel tired very easily? Every day I have this feeling of being extremely tired (sometimes even multiple times). Some days are quite calm and other days are quite stressful. Does anyone experience the same thing?,6.270384615384613,9.659265717948717,5.458653846153847,73.29259615384616,71.30769230769229,8.002564102564103,25.134615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.5552000000000006,189,6,26,4,4,57,33,39,0.2,0.6579999999999999,0.142,-0.5916,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,6,6,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,5,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851567079638928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4109430905371164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858734876566267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028881292762213,0.0,0.17895694667913728,0.0,0.0,0.2077688688428974,0.0,0.0,0.21479258713690455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472520630468091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518290740063074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100699536381445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24330455091906025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110974183231267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385269201120808,0.4882472536774795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17525301400283594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pixelise,2019/04/03,"Struggling with myself Hello I'm new to this subreddit and wanted to just throw this out of me as I just can't hold it anymore.  
So I'm 19 y/o male (turned 19 today "" yay ""), and I've been struggling with my life for a long time now.  
I've had anger issues but sorted it out I guess (now I'm the ""quiet guy""). Later in life been bullied a lot (couple of kids called me faggot etc (for the record I'm not homosexual)). Overall final score is ended up with depression, almost tried suicide and going into therapy for about 5 years or something like that (2 years almost in group therapy).  
And Idk I recently just have this thought that there's no hope for me with like recovering from all of that. I just have this depressing thoughts that I'll probably not find a girlfriend and die alone or something worse.  


I have a support from family and some friends but it just makes me so much sadder and madder at myself that I just can't be normal and waste these people's energy and time  


Hope it fits here",4.128957142857144,5.1183038100000005,5.085428571428572,84.04700000000003,70.9,7.914285714285715,25.285714285714285,8.192908349453996,1.4212214285714286,782,22,158,11,14,256,120,200,0.251,0.638,0.111,-0.989,0,1,2,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,0,0,13,13,2,2,6,1,10,2,0,1,1,44,24,16,2,4,12,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,3,14,16,0,1,3,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,5,1,13,7,24,18,5,23,0,2,0,0,8,8,0,10,15,100,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599398534201652,0.13442742405769578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287207558761364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13253416994621287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436145750569923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22358273721085006,0.0,0.13470566401678855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495894531435827,0.0,0.14475460213603752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235821715711938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218296566940175,0.1186293503578834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027851040707332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376491245831718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298270695904666,0.12851645077244372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578294255816182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354711982149851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833546593420655,0.1268215692957204,0.0,0.0,0.11486359184704105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034620409037113,0.0,0.0,0.08663849247759385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541351284744942,0.0,0.0,0.12535583896544744,0.0,0.0,0.12717054687467574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998280622093427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399398678462268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815590116723655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984350075780685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271377707654953,0.0,0.1419735525564602,0.14728867540925647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968614657201152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20608385102628995,0.1513678321999862,0.0,0.12302952083273085,0.0,0.0,0.08812159553089703,0.14117858378509585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655585486631765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227115875022233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716614102722488
mentalhealth,danyboy501,2019/04/03,"Advice for therapy. These last few months have been the absolute worst of my life. I don't want to whine about it, I just want to feel better. 

For years I have been living a double life. Everyone had the view that I was a great guy to be around with. Funny, out going, intelligent, etc. And while I do feel that I have those qualities, I knew that I was putting on a show. I have lied to most of the people in my life about who I am and what I truly think about situations. I believe it was more of a defense mechanism than anything malicious. I confided finally in a friend that I thought I could trust. I was tired of feeling the way I do and thought maybe if I finally confided in someone I thought could understand I could have the courage for going to a professional. If I'm honest, the idea of opening up is hell of scary. 

My 'friend' blows up and goes and tells everyone my confession like it was the newest strip on a gossip column. And a shit storm came. I have lost so many people in my life that I feel wayward. I'm not mad at how most people feel. If I could take their pain away I would do it. But I can't. And I can't live like this anymore. My gf has stuck by my side but even this has been a strain on her. She has been my anchor and for that I am eternally grateful. But I don't want her to shoulder the weight of my past self. I don't want anyone including me to feel hurt. And I finally accepted that I'm not either strong enough to carry this guilt and hurt on my own and also I do not have the tools to deal with this. 

But I'm terrified. The idea of going to a professional about the darkness of my past gives me anxiety unlike any I have ever felt. My gf believes I need it. I know I need it. But I don't know how to go about it. How did any of you come to the point that you could show your deepest faults to a stranger? I couldn't even do that with the people I trusted. 

TL;DR I've realized I need professional help and need advice on overcoming my fear to do so. ",2.316311314584695,3.614615311750601,3.883025942882061,89.72995421844347,75.73860911270985,7.5485502507085265,23.667538696315674,8.199878495009871,1.1225721822541974,1543,46,351,26,33,514,180,417,0.146,0.7509999999999999,0.103,-0.9577,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,3,1,3,16,27,4,3,24,0,45,9,2,3,1,75,82,27,0,18,13,0,8,2,4,1,6,0,0,2,24,20,1,1,20,2,0,7,10,15,0,0,19,10,61,12,53,55,10,38,2,4,2,0,20,18,2,5,14,251,85,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854200091176002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487284203315825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033081680080928,0.0,0.062057732914130775,0.0,0.08045073966523131,0.05672204578142115,0.0,0.06675609051798219,0.07221534243016506,0.0,0.0,0.07621632876044353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18279232429503015,0.0,0.07174538309820197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927813961293196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698789976543124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238446230626803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363271451159067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382020471105205,0.09047192686622092,0.10715998422026818,0.07337904985670936,0.0,0.15503015789090732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091284251583166,0.2461048365285153,0.0,0.07788937090488902,0.2665939462064685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534855439381828,0.0,0.0,0.07781914401763708,0.18441289373170444,0.0,0.0,0.08943675087584857,0.0,0.08032304855125685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054374038012759716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736845079499079,0.18315262071170135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916452048809169,0.06612485758429795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22919408551842385,0.07926374410948912,0.0,0.14326355863621396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855371064673924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224447835507459,0.08149746000893113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475041513259065,0.0,0.0,0.24060228635034706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631900585835292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548793202798801,0.22495776282088836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668604749639306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154952320314557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462742660593221,0.0,0.0832700640038672,0.0,0.0911839758092589,0.0,0.0,0.0687339919560746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06099327963035438,0.0,0.07090377509074175,0.0,0.0927695162009051,0.0,0.0,0.05197938790037552,0.0,0.19320425212634326,0.0,0.09323724199352453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445035254625899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19139027292928346,0.06439047853859647,0.0,0.09878414460512366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762639303167521,0.0,0.0,0.05223959260138194
mentalhealth,Hilariouse50,2019/04/03,"Being a close friend of a victim, how to cope with it? Hello, lately my closest friend I have has had some panic attacks. I'm there to support and I worry about him but you kind of get a low feeling knowing that you can't do anything physical. He lives in a country just beside mine and I'll like to know how to cope with it better.",1.8976190476190449,3.5025899999999983,3.625714285714289,89.84761904761906,77.57142857142857,5.238095238095238,23.095238095238088,5.46131890053228,0.311809523809524,260,8,54,1,6,87,53,70,0.136,0.665,0.198,0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,5,10,2,1,4,0,6,0,0,2,0,13,12,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,7,6,10,10,1,5,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,1,2,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203352068448387,0.0,0.0,0.30460396154166525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236802870006989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538230404964274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137255409320858,0.0,0.1398881783978095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27882013225842245,0.2942964890922192,0.0,0.3020333479418497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080898924837567,0.0,0.2364279092776928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141466080021452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038392107117236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27191283882353184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,akanwndin,2019/04/03,"My partner clearly has an eating disorder but won’t get help Hi everyone. Not sure where else to turn.

I have a 31 year old Male partner who I’ve been with for 3 years.

He’s classified as obese medically, however he totally doesn’t believe he’s obese and constantly obsesses over being ‘as fat as possible’ When asked why he wants to be fat, he claims it’s so that he can turn the fat into muscle mass. I’ve spoken to his family, who tell me he has been claiming this for the past 10 years. Apparently when he was about 21 he got into body building and the gym, heavily, and started saying that he had to become ‘super fat’ in order to gain large amounts of muscle. I don’t know anything about muscle building, I’m pretty fat myself, but this doesn’t seem healthy or correct at all. 

This would be mostly fine if he worked out and went to the gym, but he doesn’t. Instead he just sits at home insisting he wants to be a body builder whilst cramming McDonald’s into his mouth.  He stopped going to the gym about 2 years ago.

Along with this, he obsessively weighs himself at least 6 times a day. Our scales are linked up to my iPhone and on average, he’s weighing himself 6 times a day. To check that he’s gaining enough weight. He is now over 280lbs but he doesn’t care. He walks around claiming that he’s ‘too skinny’ and he genuinely holds the belief that he’s this skinny guy that is wasting away. 

It’s gotten to the point that I now hide the weighing scales when I’m going to work. I feel like a parent.

I’ve told him he needs therapy, and that he’s actually very overweight but again, he doesn’t care. He tells me he WANTS to be overweight as he needs to build muscle.

Please help. What should I do??

",3.512180602006687,4.824155162318839,4.360652173913046,87.4328177257525,72.73913043478261,7.510590858416946,25.7329988851728,8.012643519586192,1.362426978818283,1341,43,281,19,26,432,182,345,0.067,0.813,0.12,0.971,3,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,0,5,15,8,0,2,14,0,26,20,10,0,5,44,49,22,0,8,9,1,2,1,2,3,10,1,1,4,18,15,16,2,5,3,1,4,8,2,0,0,8,3,16,6,41,33,6,44,1,0,0,0,51,17,0,4,22,146,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.11297494140680213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262323014154087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526894815566564,0.10305995543836996,0.10822943852817096,0.0,0.10876984282562116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785900684111248,0.0,0.13043328579754004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571890194806557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360707150705059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251063764234521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932430567357033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326825924550897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846173933969133,0.09671108366707946,0.0,0.0,0.11962148584575127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062331511680576,0.0,0.0,0.1091377700395785,0.0,0.05853685341708749,0.08270620002793534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06048511178132492,0.0,0.13158965927932434,0.0,0.09259194431236516,0.0,0.0,0.11463062454314026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519654815784667,0.0,0.11612687412672767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362423273885838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05655943502381061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166262207328945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716841607004481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148127096286515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854902271392402,0.0,0.11051568343531144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708083151313507,0.10944018780172288,0.1305134205190058,0.0,0.1177798366608547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920650496228252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539277326333164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194268994026369,0.0,0.0,0.09678900787021892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911197219632353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20237638306099626,0.0,0.1323932267571824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501298111281276,0.0,0.0,0.11062331511680576,0.0,0.0,0.2518493023131573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09552247708667952,0.2048526566758017,0.0,0.0,0.14097682290804958,0.0,0.1073200652019794,0.1044645304111376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856405880761313,0.0,0.0,0.08223977479109304,0.0,0.0,0.2982086578526367
mentalhealth,midcenturymadame,2019/04/03,"I went to my therapist today. I was hesitant to see a new therapist since I’ve moved. Mental health care has a process to treat but you kinda have to dig up things... which sucks to do but it’s worth it. 

I have to be continuing my care. I was diagnosed with severe Postpartum Depression and my formal diagnosis now is Bipolar 2 w/ altered state. Minor mania and severe lows. 

PPD and Mental Illness is treatable. I know that my meds are working. However there are problems my husband can’t stand and I need to talk about with a professional. 

My depression can sneak up on me and so can anxiety and even suicidal ideation with bouts of anger. 

I went to see a new therapist to continue my care, and it’s the best decision I made this week. 

If you haven’t seen a therapist or haven’t seen yours in a while or are hesitant to start somewhere in getting help.... THERAPY HELPS. Go. ",2.3252631578947387,4.810460035087722,3.986345029239768,83.40302631578948,80.22807017543859,8.244444444444445,27.043859649122812,8.998388855275968,2.5763824561403506,690,30,134,19,18,230,104,171,0.233,0.642,0.124,-0.972,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,0,2,5,11,2,0,7,0,17,4,0,1,0,21,33,14,1,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,2,0,1,4,3,6,0,0,7,4,19,5,20,25,1,21,0,3,4,0,7,6,1,4,9,88,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058491017284448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426616302353972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621869942698198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039762864060798,0.12018575946529098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821005609525003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186541979623726,0.0,0.06729630873124018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586649422759527,0.0,0.0,0.15873823028424305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507617745394129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204436462216442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152911674097326,0.0,0.2386630334135907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258532918398943,0.0,0.08780105021957868,0.0,0.22872623200222345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330436000489345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18871817937800475,0.0,0.0,0.2675438710474127,0.0,0.0979516887309436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381267328586682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952358656847054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517513726447947,0.0,0.0,0.1354145228518929,0.5499421639554936,0.07866771835887744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122407977057454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498302081446468,0.0,0.0,0.2195383521909918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620539793654143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlelid96,2019/04/03,"Lexapro to Viibyrd: I feel like shit So for years I had been on 10mg of lexapro and it helped my anxiety tons but absolutely killed my sex drive. I complained about that to my dr, tried to switch to Wellbutrin, same mg, and only lasted a week before going back to 10mg lexapro because I couldn’t handle how bad my anxiety got during the switch. I eventually went up to 20mg lexapro as my anxiety came back way worse than it was before which I think is just from being on the same mg of lexapro for so long. I recently went back to the dr and now she has me switching to Viibryd, starting at 10mg for a week and then 20mg for a week in my sample pack. I didn’t really understand her instructions of switching so I tapered down my lexapro to 10mg for about a week and then switched immediately to the Viibryd and now I am on day four and I’m nauseous, have chills and really bad “brain zaps” especially when I’m at work or the gym. I also smoke weed and that’s always been fine with the lexapro but now I feel sick and like I can’t think straight after I smoke while taking Viibyrd. I called my dr and left a voicemail asking if this was normal (sans the weed issue) but I figured I’d try here too. I saw online that someone was told to take 10mg lexapro for a week while also taking the 10mg Viibyrd for a week and I’m wondering if that was what my dr meant for me to do, she really did not make sense when explaining it to me. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid to go back to work on Thursday and have a panic attack and it doesn’t help that I’m dealing with family drama right now too (I still live with my mom & siblings) If anyone has advice, thank you in advance. I just want to cry and lay in bed all day and it’s really ruining my day. ",3.0973377565830376,3.8383512291105113,4.478504043126687,88.36898144308523,73.09703504043127,7.6483931163176475,25.859527265187644,7.882392219407189,1.229359859008916,1370,43,309,18,26,456,172,371,0.139,0.813,0.048,-0.9899,0,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,3,24,13,3,2,16,0,22,8,2,2,1,48,52,36,1,6,10,1,2,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,14,20,0,0,10,2,0,7,6,9,0,1,16,4,38,4,48,34,4,53,0,1,1,1,13,14,1,5,33,193,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265967659569653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165940957139196,0.07890010938917169,0.1027403908629066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176173920733811,0.0,0.0,0.06630225918339495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864645460047726,0.10787454707934008,0.0,0.29165131241487285,0.1583460414945499,0.057803057515513526,0.0,0.1613743223769759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105853529040549,0.09682461152584967,0.10845194472125863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415831893188576,0.18345845359154955,0.09775807337990257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893904330335467,0.0,0.09589044514061627,0.06774137892294455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777988794759052,0.0,0.07583840126565525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271153574066115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897029683311588,0.0,0.0,0.10490730416640856,0.0,0.05211209385981765,0.07729318267034757,0.0,0.0,0.10302517612398568,0.0,0.0,0.09265119467032686,0.0,0.08373020988027359,0.08391513421457318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329491014077898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105523807342406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290614491091237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211696081283936,0.0,0.1112540456901017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429834816214017,0.0,0.09362600867609264,0.0,0.0,0.08097809530711092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733417209734434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034299339171093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711601799301442,0.0,0.07572555652615946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138846816322844,0.0,0.0,0.0873000320934867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151715620573568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060718428012283,0.0,0.12875682184873358,0.0,0.0,0.09871380845867042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559289043004441,0.07526587128857062,0.4563664575359244,0.0,0.0,0.17580324571620606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283120834480343,0.13806415693888924,0.0,0.09663246517680574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061062730735044514
mentalhealth,Throwawaycausetacos,2019/04/03,"[M23] was doing well then brother passed I've always struggled with anxiety and myself in general. 

My bestfriend and more considered a brother, helped me from elementary to our adult life. 

I was breaking out of my self destructive life with his help. I got out, did things I never though I could, got better with women, ect...

I've always struggled with huge mood swings and anxiety.

I'll be happy for a month or two then like in recent events for no see able reason I just break down all the time and Its basically depression.  I just stay still curled in a ball under blankets crying for no reason and feeling lost/worthless 

With my suicidal tendencies coming back and worse 

At 23 Im finally seeking out help.  Took a few MHA screening test which was very vague but I answered with all honesty and the.  Depression and anxiety came up severe.  While the PTSD and bipolar came up positive 
**this does not mean I am**

This is in Wisconsin (fox valley area).  I had to leave work early be cause I balled my eyes out at work.  From 8am till now 2pm ive been looking for any help but they all see to charge an arm and leg.  That's my one set back for never getting help, I cant afford it right now since I'm at a new job and dont have health insurance.  

I dont want opiates thrown at me
I also have been through the suicidal attempts in my younger years and no longer want to die at all, but God why is my body trying to kill me.  

I emailed a few psychiatrists and doctors cause my anxiety will literally not allow me to make a call, if I try my words get all flustered snd it's sometimes hard for me to speak. 

Oddly I didnt have a speech impediment before my brother had passed and he was gone very unexpected as a few others and I had plans and spoke or hung out with him hours before the tragedy.  

Another thing, I can talk about him passing but deep down I utterly do not believe hes gone.  I talk to him like hes alive in my car to stay sane missing him so much.  I still text him on snap since his # is deactivated.  

Sorry for the sad vibes.  

But I'm scared as my body have recently done the suicidal actions in a slow manner but my brain takes it time to react.  

I dont want drugs I just want help.  ",2.191188818854478,4.1865788966292135,3.5453987393806545,88.97539051795013,78.0112359550562,6.768429706768979,23.662647300630308,7.765008861874849,1.1076642915867363,1719,57,363,27,41,562,239,445,0.194,0.715,0.09,-0.9927,2,0,1,0,0,2,42.0,1,0,1,5,14,15,2,3,18,0,34,12,6,7,7,70,59,34,5,6,15,3,2,2,0,1,6,3,0,3,11,31,0,0,5,2,0,11,13,9,1,2,20,10,54,5,55,35,10,67,0,4,5,0,30,27,0,3,26,230,65,5,0.07628116932277641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610020235477969,0.1269440872672343,0.0,0.0,0.05187381093224297,0.0799874571126084,0.2334195429647278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731102130727257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981931344017295,0.0859427560249521,0.0,0.06746449534252286,0.0,0.1694623655178939,0.0,0.0851550126615689,0.07789160262457373,0.17449067233975424,0.0,0.1567235470192942,0.0,0.06570947297523973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609043066489969,0.0,0.08379128261330626,0.0,0.0,0.13140171872362993,0.0,0.07916781051356978,0.0,0.0,0.07807700911176654,0.06675416532409043,0.07806212047350816,0.2682028870013678,0.0,0.08846193874598242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03857005120228303,0.0,0.0,0.0835622923990019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970752516398548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201803904971673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120272318667539,0.06833294456459635,0.0,0.0,0.08108331592182029,0.0,0.0,0.3067779591541065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512158611150298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239675278297473,0.0,0.07569729017533795,0.0,0.08439381186015531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077074418146707,0.0,0.0,0.10775929158972597,0.0745342524408315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640569703277157,0.0,0.08326990729581563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091827285594053,0.0,0.0,0.08309255598357403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088690158863421,0.0,0.05607543647607501,0.0,0.11766548073329446,0.07367282866999007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169009450529214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916860486119649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685949334924876,0.15063690415481076,0.0,0.0,0.06514370180842295,0.0,0.0,0.07637075784968071,0.0,0.12157243158793475,0.0,0.07957789590852002,0.08617600876313279,0.0,0.1262011430633082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754440269646749,0.08539052382553187,0.0,0.1626111539310905,0.12183648071514527,0.0,0.0,0.1594912811873792,0.0,0.2503176549130263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057353946022073166,0.12262382884461845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135563876129908,0.0,0.0749458615589768,0.0,0.08896032653804978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475118586582191,0.10357981348540793,0.0,0.07451561834093756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587990700322305,0.17997044017408573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858593222132932,0.0,0.06883189053690858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106719954264616,0.0,0.07773702842252286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912257206749164
mentalhealth,SpenserJ9,2019/04/03,"Struggling with Major Depressive Disorder I've been dealing with MDD ever since I was in elementary school. Growing up, I was severely bullied to the point where bullies broke my arm. Along with this, my mother was/is an alcoholic and would often physically abuse me. Going through high school and into college, I often questioned my ability to trust or be myself. I'm one month away from graduating college, and I'm really regretting the major I chose (criminal justice). Everyday just seems like a blur and sensations of intense regret about how I've lived my life. I'm currently engaged to a woman who I love dearly; however, I am noticing some signs that she may be talking to an old FWB again. I only really have one good friend, and he rarely speaks with me anymore. I know this post sounds like I'm looking for pity, but frankly I question whether or not I have a life worth living. I just want to pain to stop.",7.149017341040463,7.367855722543354,7.390526011560695,72.88937283236997,64.02890173410404,10.61942196531792,36.37514450867052,10.355215969177356,3.8806813872832375,732,33,127,16,10,238,118,173,0.17,0.695,0.136,-0.7991,2,0,1,0,1,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,9,15,0,1,7,0,10,6,1,1,1,35,20,10,0,4,7,1,0,2,1,2,4,2,0,1,4,11,1,1,4,0,1,2,1,7,0,2,3,3,19,8,20,13,3,17,0,5,1,1,12,7,0,10,9,81,23,5,0.0,0.17819610135116584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072887935047586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915361991558365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130313007189524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505292014314814,0.12953689705536986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236823307739058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604288733251166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619651178361655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547420065262266,0.12614604465018062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589029103110131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265437368367456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124599951508505,0.14695296042258993,0.0,0.265606984615638,0.0,0.1262957783447624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573935440777782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004561857666188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712282210211094,0.157816572923478,0.0,0.2038260843390405,0.11438385577040787,0.1600332358019569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421739766309272,0.0,0.14403895406451442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33695859163757186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926966084199278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044200127723624,0.0,0.13691597194768002,0.0,0.16990603904156013,0.0,0.12441012671717785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573880234930024,0.0,0.1572278191874465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208835808836659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870817143142819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683786325792023,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Guymacgregor98,2019/04/03,"Having everything but feeling nothing Does anyone have everything people consider good in life and yet feel empty? I don’t talk to anyone I know about this because of how stupid it sounds but I have a great job doing sales with a company I’m working my way up through and I am really set up for life work wise, I have a gorgeous girlfriend who cares about me and loves me, I have the best parents ever, I have a good group of friends and I know I should be so happy and so grateful to be so lucky in life (I am grateful) but I still feel so empty inside. I know this is a stupid fucking post and I’m an idiot for feeling like this because I’m so lucky to have what a lot of people don’t but I just want to speak to someone about it even randoms on reddit",2.790849056603772,3.9324295471698143,4.123411949685536,89.09945754716982,74.28301886792453,6.557861635220128,25.828616352201266,6.816661863887847,0.9684503144654096,594,20,127,5,12,196,86,159,0.08900000000000001,0.561,0.35,0.9956,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,14,17,4,0,8,0,16,5,0,1,1,27,30,16,0,2,5,1,4,1,2,1,3,2,0,0,7,7,0,0,7,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,6,16,13,20,27,2,11,0,0,0,2,8,5,1,4,4,90,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21445646283535247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186965563595004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609348848601791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635396582743716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342005543386733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012884446284296,0.13871688918917013,0.0,0.0,0.27564821427867514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101602560431938,0.1095556674111215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848042161777934,0.14177270553968396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572510366473145,0.0,0.16907261520707922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324749792847718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217954196784314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528369800161944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249540293764659,0.0749207030468888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037553840275748,0.13840739014874873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471466800285047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028075251570632,0.0,0.0,0.21263181465558006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687012325058338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982420860121219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299357999908516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246818735028775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232596177795338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904517819924761,0.1217247551408494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232861376530177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ExtraPackaging,2019/04/03,"Help? I have a problem of overthinking, sometimes to the point of me not believing that situation is real or happened. Today i had a conversation with a friend today and 3 hours later i had to triple check with myself if it happened and if the conversation was real. Can someone give me an idea on what this is and if i need to worry?

-psa it doesn't happen too often...",3.4288127853881254,5.2062228630137,5.481027397260277,77.43651826484022,73.7945205479452,7.606392694063928,25.865296803652967,8.344100000000001,1.8872118721461184,291,10,53,5,6,101,51,73,0.078,0.835,0.087,0.168,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,16,13,7,0,5,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,7,1,8,10,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,5,4,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214285565248869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694482350393878,0.0,0.0,0.1824531673013568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5045686228734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127484253131131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730457675364004,0.0,0.0,0.21470793703937655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102779514838776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797965324620907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819917191449053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4329689787119817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137880775167482,0.0,0.0,0.16115230631179311,0.0,0.188108535384676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36056680840493605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19315309380881449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Meat_Trash,2019/04/03,"Im getting afraid of making friends I cant hold a proper friendship with anyone where you can be honest and open without ending up vending all my fucked up selfhate problems to them in one text. And trust me, you cant change my mind when im feeling down. I make up the worst excuses to hate myself. If someone i know has problems in their own personal, i can make myself believe im the reason all those problems exist. And i am full of extreme self hate all the time and it just ruins my friendships",3.4426980198019805,5.0257549900990135,4.288205445544556,86.80478341584158,73.35643564356435,5.8420792079207935,28.46658415841584,5.985473137389443,1.2131277227722772,398,16,76,2,8,128,69,101,0.246,0.638,0.116,-0.9477,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,2,0,3,12,3,1,4,0,7,1,0,4,3,23,16,6,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,0,1,15,3,12,15,6,12,0,1,0,1,8,9,1,1,3,55,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201115579668793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18048343666895456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946368772406006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188406520965974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099874515851567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376525089733648,0.14809648912390544,0.08369459356060538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163162163868345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5191100379064837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803826500207007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32079160476141405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174996523088686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855139315464336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987495497037608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4598511926608231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470579804075589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671169601808454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357315973966846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934102314342704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442100485324803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anon-eeh-moose,2019/04/03,"What is happening Last year I thought my social life was pretty good- I had good friends ; people I trusted-people I could talk to. Come 2019 and they've all changed. They're completely different people. I wish I could go back to how it was. Now I never go out. I don't trust anyone. At the start I tried to go with the flow and be more like the crowd, but I've realised I don't wanna be that kind of person. I have noone I can  talk to properly so I've given in and made a post here. Sorry if I seem like a whiney asshole.",-0.09061126373626394,2.026919348214289,1.887857142857144,96.87252747252752,87.66071428571428,4.874725274725276,17.543956043956047,6.297961479604792,-0.3298648351648352,405,10,94,4,13,134,76,112,0.061,0.785,0.153,0.8109,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,5,0,12,1,0,2,2,18,23,7,0,5,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,6,0,14,7,10,13,2,16,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,9,57,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727365819626535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128966255244889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17742542204370068,0.14447584837805086,0.17585113079465026,0.0,0.0,0.2678213954419161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752316047648258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295799835924775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859572636424521,0.28135100004492714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831415927457878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17465447302045847,0.0,0.1367141089462904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846552991613475,0.16387894875782408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870063067831533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935593137506735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34882759545532577,0.14644655295931633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606293082112045,0.17063144114437692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526859036144492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17096932304964055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187748703718695,0.11871301295836392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696138152008442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315087114007226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387080698230165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19286961506332265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10800612077100448
mentalhealth,TankHead13,2019/04/03,"I can't stop biting my nails Ever since I was very young I've had a bad habit of biting my nails and most of the skin off of my fingers, to the point of them bleeding and being hard from healing skin. 
It's become a compulsion and I would compare it to a nicotine craving in that I feel weird if I don't bite them and that I won't feel better until I do.
A while ago I stopped and it got slightly better but it's recently become very bad and all ten of my fingers have dried blood or red bare skin. 
I'm tired if having sore fingers and don't know how to start breaking the habit. 
Posting here because I couldn't think where else it would fit, being that habits are largely related to mental health.

I'm tired of having sore fingers constantly and I don't know how to break the habit. 

Any advice would be appreciated. 
",5.023411764705884,4.871376282352943,5.616470588235295,85.07411764705884,68.52941176470588,7.976470588235292,28.764705882352942,7.1686216300943375,1.427164705882353,648,20,137,5,10,210,93,170,0.17,0.7759999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9474,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,5,5,0,0,8,0,19,15,8,2,2,28,28,16,0,6,4,0,10,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,8,8,0,2,5,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,3,11,16,2,15,17,2,18,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,4,10,87,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150711668909375,0.1374370734398989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054351770465344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25891038116449744,0.09451332987272744,0.3424676399083897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27424748183953906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754738883773992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295192939266512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402460951071628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15678972121475365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240027801975254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888889169315005,0.0,0.0,0.16480442859507394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041615890334522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15624779688139775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656661174508487,0.0,0.1484892098878624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308715875964626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825392643443076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974087913282464,0.0,0.0,0.2592473061798421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934587860327312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564003386167526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25585493031969603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.330416240613019,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fjdkxkvjvh1737474,2019/04/03,"My 10YO sister sent me a very alarming text explaining why she cut her bangs. I am now very worried. im so worried and scared and dont know how to wrap my head around this.  i dont even know if this is a mentall illness or not. please help!

here’s the text:



“So basically sometimes i have these random nervous attacks that take away all my happiness and replace it with hate for you, dad, mom, my friends, anyone i know and myself. It makes me do really stupid things. Such as cutting my hair but before i did that i pretended to be a boy because my head kept telling me it was easier to be a boy! So i made my hair look like a guys hair. It wasn’t even so i cut it even. When i put my hair down again i realized i had cut my tiny bangs but not all of it. The next day i had a massive break down while dad was sleeping. I cried in the bathroom so much. I think dad woke up by it. Then i had horrible thoughts about how hard my life is and how no one loves me which i know is not true but when I’m in the middle of an attack i will believe anything my brain tells me! In that state i will remember all the bad things I’ve die. All the mean things people have said to me and i tell myself I’m worthless that i don’t deserve anything that i have. You may think I’m making this up but I’m not. I look happy all the time but in reality I’m a wreck and i cover it up with good grades and hobbies. Lately I’ve been having more serious attacks and it has affected my work ethic. I procrastinate a little now and         I have gotten 2 MEs this quarters on assignments! I’ve never gotten an ME in homeroom this entire year!!! Every time i get anything other than EE in my homeroom i have a mild attack but later at home i get a major one. I cry a lot. When we are talking  and i get all crazy it’s because i snap but i still don’t want to expose it to you. No one but you knows this. Sometimes i scratch myself kick myself bite myself rub my body into something hard or as i did just now cut my hair. I know it sounds dumb and hilarious by to me it feels like a vicious circle! I feel bad once then i get an attack it makes me do something stupid after t ends i regret it and i feel bad and repeat. The first time i had an attack was in third grade when my teacher said i didn’t do my raz kids when i did and i thought i was wrong and i finally got over it a week later since it was my first time dealing with a nervous breakdown/ attack. I don’t know what h was thinking when i cut my hair but that’s the thing after my attacks i forget everything except that i did have one. So that is the full explanation. You wanted it you got it. I’ve been trying to cope with it by meditating and writing in my diary it is helping but it only decreases the seriousness of the attacks hopefully i will grow out of it. Please don’t tell ANYBODY! Not parents not your friends no cousins nobody! Sorry i didn’t send this sooner i woke up late and i was writing this al day long!”",0.9703809523809532,2.791483926984132,2.9646825396825385,92.50892857142858,81.1587301587302,5.596825396825397,21.61111111111111,6.588339656340683,0.3139492063492062,2294,70,517,22,60,772,265,630,0.24,0.698,0.062,-0.9988,1,0,2,0,0,0,45.0,1,7,0,3,28,42,20,4,30,0,50,14,11,8,8,93,98,51,1,5,21,7,13,2,2,4,2,3,1,4,47,26,0,1,19,1,0,4,19,32,0,8,33,18,98,10,48,59,11,66,0,2,2,1,39,24,1,7,38,361,145,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040577588278847616,0.0,0.1432671081672134,0.05166112033122467,0.0,0.5941818740354483,0.0545233297911048,0.0,0.14536383578375142,0.07075199843900573,0.0,0.04938127970932634,0.06538261775994332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446088990988015,0.0,0.06478332672480287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749168530575386,0.07485216630422506,0.059828833910029425,0.0,0.0,0.060228446620882475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136027030502586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051399462316564885,0.0,0.0,0.11498951579816165,0.0,0.048894781695739166,0.0,0.052155759732859915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802874255073269,0.04145834270553887,0.0,0.0635716339080668,0.0,0.09872462279751117,0.0,0.0,0.08967134315185585,0.0,0.12127809000853668,0.0,0.0,0.04867480565225797,0.09282758868809396,0.0,0.0,0.05746117842742461,0.0,0.1235530917728407,0.10397122460399684,0.057294959163555814,0.11911592510582135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779575990761785,0.0,0.058211207179663674,0.05763924594143245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268492704964758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223251542334375,0.0,0.13092610103587174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040989985066616635,0.056703377489397015,0.05816368878320052,0.0,0.051356828688214166,0.0974651640117542,0.0,0.0,0.04933705283577106,0.052376487217525226,0.05491163958133617,0.1162111895796041,0.0,0.0,0.06321427282356855,0.0,0.0,0.05848298803955643,0.0,0.0,0.06796682016955155,0.0,0.0,0.04266047539565437,0.0,0.044758147784388864,0.0,0.06171809276333421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180258899597504,0.1572969659029152,0.04413623879226829,0.0,0.0,0.06443808851495851,0.0,0.0,0.04023234420639737,0.0,0.0,0.1274042493161784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058338568915958164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03717702759012275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573937196125614,0.0,0.11040416222850367,0.0,0.05810053458226466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800498308071801,0.0,0.05807428866325792,0.0,0.0,0.08935232015501414,0.1147910121911859,0.06496249640848302,0.0,0.0,0.0463447323326602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043633126318370484,0.04664422750930082,0.20289142631667934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15421653420146075,0.11155441445125744,0.0,0.09214245229818893,0.13535658605475334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039400175570332034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576557960114043,0.06845800066368972,0.0,0.046550073472224236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052365195123162345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04224826261829338,0.11786939439420635,0.0,0.0,0.06344929567618565,0.0,0.03737094900635477
mentalhealth,PinkRaven1,2019/04/03,"Scared of Silence. I am scared of my own thoughts, I spend all day wearing headphones even at work. I wake up and put my headphones in and I go to bed listening to a documentary. I listen to audiobooks and YouTube videos and I will watch the same things just so I don’t have to listen to my own thoughts. 

When I am not listening to anything my mind races. It’s bad right now  because I am travelling somewhere in two weeks that holds bad memories for me. I am waiting on a referral for the local mental health team. My ears are damaged because I get constant ear infections. The only time I feel safe is with my Husband. ",2.4201219512195142,4.688625097560977,3.4692886178861784,88.44588414634147,78.51219512195122,6.701626016260162,28.949186991869922,7.793537801064563,1.9172552845528448,489,23,98,8,12,157,82,123,0.131,0.8440000000000001,0.024,-0.9153,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,2,5,0,9,6,4,0,1,16,19,6,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,2,6,1,0,3,5,0,3,3,3,1,3,2,5,0,1,2,8,19,1,16,16,4,16,0,1,1,0,6,7,0,0,6,67,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725427857111552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501359312496719,0.2556290915926595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265817259056941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352215605089036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848685603561453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601682868217097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954534381704277,0.0,0.11916184036029025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228722997535752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113007891793236,0.0,0.2117096792014585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946555401556226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107789985558989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905935976401322,0.0,0.0,0.4198379467434004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929724041813835,0.0,0.0,0.33291344269818485,0.12226185089347455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048197836804947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16818681108399605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264423949512718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RemcovW,2019/04/03,"I need advice on how i get discrete mental help (i'm dutch) so i've been struggling for a while now. I think i'm bipolar, and now that i don't live at home anymore it's starting to show. I moved out of my parent's house about 7 months ago for college. Now there's nobody that checks what time i go to bed or get up (or anything else i do).

There's a clear pattern of me just not having energy at all for like a week, then i eat like shit and barely do anything. But then all of a sudden i have a week where i work 15 hours a day and have hella energy to cook and work out.

I want to go to a psychologist for this, however my parents still take care of my insurance, and i would prefer if they wouldn't find out about this, because they will be worried sick, whereas i think it would be better if i get some clarity first. How could i go by getting therapy, without my parents finding out about it? I am from the  Netherlands, so i have pretty good health insurance, and it includes mental health.

Thanks for reading this far. If you have any tips on how to cope with this pattern of mental instability, i would really appreciate it if you would leave it in the comments.",5.682508777529524,4.8783218215767645,6.426721991701246,82.0051835301628,67.29875518672199,9.241110756463453,30.98659431854453,8.384062270229773,2.0764979891477817,913,30,195,11,13,302,132,241,0.07200000000000001,0.789,0.139,0.9427,4,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,2,4,16,8,1,1,9,0,19,7,1,3,3,41,36,21,0,13,10,3,0,2,0,6,4,0,2,0,13,11,2,0,5,3,1,4,4,2,0,1,1,0,27,6,33,26,3,33,0,0,0,0,9,12,1,7,19,135,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782992395626688,0.09781605974462433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750398223640787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094346872177496,0.0,0.0,0.18161254740762506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672665772786328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759305621477754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250623829246227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810319253616658,0.0,0.0,0.07116476057587083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291264713380784,0.09218085539598632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017105285452503,0.0938611998986524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23060725332859905,0.0,0.18813842571640405,0.0925539249256026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345876469886259,0.0,0.0,0.07396334536454233,0.0,0.1106871537942209,0.0,0.108669680831396,0.12732575556255632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684166223122833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782005336960808,0.0,0.09743852445791387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33361181489505903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880780146551823,0.1172815203111489,0.0,0.08182098778765141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675822385016225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122626867585487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037697679104076,0.0,0.07069118765703092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326972811914915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810425615893317,0.0,0.08812334881536807,0.0,0.0,0.11535876383318933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296729783352426,0.0,0.0,0.10159279816067834,0.12619154318571815,0.0,0.0,0.1414119517189729,0.0,0.0,0.06434429031621802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508558759587024,0.0,0.1770275997077213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637068139790667,0.0,0.1606680283243936,0.11206285195800827,0.0,0.3135496987672277,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,baconandeggs94,2019/04/03,"scared i have a personality disorder Hi,

I'm an 18 year old male who has never really struggled with mental health before, except bad hypochondria (health anxiety); but recently have been having real issues in that I have an awful fear that certain intrusive thoughts i have, and some feelings I get are symptoms of a personality disorder. I've never really thought about them before, but now i have, i'm terrified i do have a personality disorder. Some thoughts/feelings i have that worry me are as follows; 

1) Although this has improved in the last year, i sometimes have intrusive thoughts like ""I would get so much attention if I were hospitalised, or x happened, or y event occurred and i was involved."" - i get these semi-regularly, normally when someone i care about isn't giving me much attention and they usually do. It is worth noting i don't want to be hospitalised, or involved in a bad event, and would never purposely try to get these events to happen to me for attention, i don't have urges to and i don't want to - but the intrusive thought about how much attention i would get is there. This has gotten a lot better over recent months, while before i thought nothing of them, now the more i think about it the more i hate myself for it, i don't want to have these thoughts, and hate myself when they come into my brain.

2) Sometimes i have irrational feelings, for example i get jealous when my girlfriend makes new friends or talks to other people, male or female; i think the foundation of this, is again, the attention issue - i get melancholic because the attention isn't on me, in the past, this is often when thought number one above would pop up into my brain, but i would never attempt to do things like that to get me attention, and i would never bring it up to my partner. 

3) It is worth mentioning i am not suicidal, or depressed; i don't have urges to self harm or hurt myself for attention and i recognise that doing so is extremely manipulative - but i'm scared these thoughts i have are a lesser version of a personality disorder like borderline, or if i'm just being freaked out for no reason. 

4) I used to constantly require reassurance of my ex; i would want her to tell me she loves me a lot, and i would want her to reassure me i was attractive - i was only 16 at the time of this relationship, and i've grown out of this and don't do this in my current relationship. i look back and i'm ashamed of this, but i have since matured and gotten more self-confident and don't need constant reassurance from my current partner.

 These thoughts/feelings used to be more amplified when i was in my first relationship, i was in-love and felt a lot of emotions i never really had felt before, and as a result, these things were worse than they are now, in my second relationship, with a girl i also love. I like to think i have matured a little bit and these things have gotten better, but i still sometimes have these thoughts, that, before a couple of weeks ago, i never thought anything of. I don't know if this desire for attention is a personal disorder, or if it's just emotional immaturity. I really would appreciate some help, as i've been really concerned about this lately. ",7.680539215686274,7.055451849673204,8.045547385620917,71.44371323529413,63.18300653594771,11.440849673202615,36.60866013071895,10.820120047756994,3.9502816993464043,2540,107,463,58,32,839,230,612,0.149,0.7070000000000001,0.14400000000000002,-0.0616,2,0,0,0,0,2,77.0,0,0,5,5,24,30,3,5,25,1,70,7,2,7,8,116,125,51,1,21,24,1,4,4,4,9,3,0,0,11,35,24,0,1,28,0,2,4,19,15,0,3,25,5,76,15,63,88,15,62,0,3,1,2,40,17,0,20,45,352,111,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0446248415084871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040258204932786784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03851122983087837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04142689434218017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03870962684510208,0.08406636168238961,0.030687806866421613,0.0,0.2141852114386505,0.0,0.0,0.0890462093297039,0.05496005109348545,0.0,0.0,0.11239587644489883,0.0,0.0,0.05132667442978992,0.0,0.0,0.043364879969758865,0.0,0.10880289407958896,0.0,0.0,0.055702085981545926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043359195426947016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28847950172086945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325517669657185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056648359963832065,0.10181701755207874,0.0,0.09667177073488252,0.0,0.0,0.04282058774611374,0.0,0.0,0.03889383933754284,0.0,0.21041150415102092,0.04829230459727343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903392209787385,0.0,0.0,0.09940392808813628,0.0,0.10702165466536967,0.0,0.0,0.033742951545455056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053891785033278725,0.0,0.0,0.10508722151633383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02766645815138265,0.04103516948462583,0.056787581849382714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837756306310026,0.05045556556416597,0.0,0.0,0.042274313028420114,0.0,0.0,0.1283960296969832,0.09087062186426642,0.0,0.0336034469717528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050732549794373666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04018223034776988,0.0,0.1110207308900407,0.03732770080520918,0.2717861255221298,0.04862028605084963,0.0,0.0,0.04932413533600132,0.04830417763488671,0.0,0.0528251006666865,0.0,0.03411280965062873,0.0382870986473984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04805680790500263,0.03490056637350495,0.21978196571817096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057299826882681724,0.1612507728014004,0.05175960781005293,0.09941262609351503,0.2161923992109263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008015617047746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503465476337877,0.0,0.0,0.0416431389051691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04265432263013584,0.0,0.14936755808364974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040202912326971374,0.0,0.0,0.052628030265285536,0.0,0.055065602000821716,0.0,0.0,0.05232425712236979,0.0,0.04046271700644189,0.044000827135834635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033428005422083,0.09677070333859672,0.0,0.3996565245804277,0.02935462504657996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0341786806049812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695805664285973,0.055444222994321,0.0,0.1484640680955298,0.0,0.040381040701341034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112439634832052,0.05130244931379528,0.3218514189834082,0.0,0.0,0.06483675321259362
mentalhealth,tur411,2019/04/03,"i need advice, i guess so uh i don't even know where to start, but basically i just can't focus at all in school and it's very hard for me to even sit through the lessons without skipping class it's gotten to the point where i might actually get expelled. I'm seeing a doctor but the medicine she prescribed (tianeptine) doesn't seem to work at all, i think it might've actually made it worse. the only time i feel a little bit better is when I abuse it and take a lot more than I should. Also, everything is just boring, i don't really have any goals in life so it's just the same shit every single day. I cut off basically everyone I know and I don't really talk to anyone. 

I just really need some advice on how to fix this whole thing so I could at least finish school before i go completely insane.",2.84595117457393,4.18309446107785,4.470299401197603,85.89315983417781,74.44910179640719,7.533671119299862,21.828189774297556,8.139509932561175,0.9531164440350076,633,15,135,10,13,213,103,167,0.18,0.799,0.021,-0.9789,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,14,4,2,0,8,0,11,3,1,2,2,29,27,11,0,4,7,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,2,3,18,1,17,22,10,18,0,0,1,0,2,11,1,5,5,90,26,7,0.0,0.1616777685943878,0.26632228611117104,0.0,0.0,0.2666859893503935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091236262951776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279459974375254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541304392654827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611380591860372,0.0,0.0,0.12068403554157332,0.14897435409011453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307127384875484,0.0,0.0,0.10894882517011296,0.0,0.0,0.08800267998314301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966825801904553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802554922115593,0.0,0.114969867643574,0.13038933152892224,0.12263764322848973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899613502634051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712925054206857,0.0,0.07755095610465547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032140975388075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223756316007325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998504008130212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638274258276648,0.0,0.1367645251527797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600981204394893,0.0,0.1291177445896646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895160063402278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023604420478506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378075852365352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289948047100109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262251172406219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762010392332783,0.10873757804118743,0.12422420390561408,0.0,0.0,0.14006988226736006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965840930884339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025977534558775,0.10967797538092676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065514718893668,0.08743534462993699,0.0,0.0,0.07956845415651552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125902972638972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234798895963222,0.0,0.13153848841617202,0.0,0.09934142239599,0.0,0.1390600826910331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ajorsini,2019/04/03,"Recurring dream where I'm either violated sexually, or am being yelled at and physically abused For context, I'm a male, I go to a therapeutic high school, and I'm straight. I am diagnosed with depression, GAD, and they haven't quite figured out what mood disorder it is (they're testing out different meds right now), either bipolar or BPD. I don't have any memory of being abused in any way, I live in a safe town, I have a very normal family, and have never experienced any real trauma, but I have this recurring dream where I'm either choked and then raped, usually by my dad, or I'm yelled at, threatened, or hit, also by my dad. He has had some anger issues in the past (my first memory is of him yelling at me) but he was never violent, and I have no memory of being molested or raped. Obviously, I could be repressing memories, but even if that's the case, I am almost positive nothing was ever done by my dad. I noticed in the past year that I get very anxious when I'm alone with adult males, sometimes to the point where I can't breath. I don't remember any trauma and my therapist only knows about the anxiety around adult men, I haven't told her about the dreams and I'm not sure if I plan to because I won't have any real answer to anything unless it is a repressed memory and it comes back. ",10.114503816793892,6.095586557251912,10.48143511450382,66.58093129770995,61.290076335877856,14.449465648854964,39.55877862595421,12.340626583579946,4.61239572519084,1026,35,204,26,10,352,142,262,0.231,0.7,0.069,-0.9931,1,1,0,0,3,0,33.0,0,0,1,3,12,14,6,2,11,0,28,5,1,0,5,48,41,23,0,4,15,3,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,5,7,15,0,3,4,3,0,2,10,11,0,1,5,4,25,2,26,29,4,35,0,1,0,2,14,18,0,9,14,135,32,2,0.0,0.2842639940068915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012177766494868,0.12424151919966905,0.0,0.09593130249405052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40788173560841706,0.0,0.09176843439721036,0.13551971366832805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871617324130044,0.10678909143272412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224119477033647,0.0,0.0731259947704257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108437144190387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333420044292968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577763366747108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033206547421978,0.12175602936432353,0.0,0.12533179748716855,0.1374835981342003,0.0,0.0,0.12275987675398314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792318984286047,0.10850993432555336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308682653651753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203720615222957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626737136151493,0.0,0.06817555905496248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674344612992264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520620395735155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592642096910196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592614219737846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324759165666686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18503980964646544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175345138978576,0.11510405603417193,0.13657430669101694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123435205556936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290291970906393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340018702571185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759134014922435,0.0,0.2730795888548208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589035154658288,0.10244447315537852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140508129828187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864268349142187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306009522045585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928183871605446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462612478679013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211807472528594,0.1979577517979772,0.0,0.0952180031093058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724977051949823
mentalhealth,martaquinmarr,2019/04/03,"Anxiety is blocking my mind. Next year I’ll be going to university, generally my grades have always been quite good. However, I’ve been having a lot of anxiety for the past few months and I just can’t concentrate. Whenever I sit an exam my mind is just blocked and I am not able to do it correctly, even though I know how to, and it’s making me feel much more anxious.
Does anyone have any advice? ",1.9978750000000003,4.2453850375,4.092500000000005,83.53250000000001,79.875,8.0,23.75,8.841846274778883,1.9402500000000007,313,11,63,8,8,107,62,80,0.132,0.8270000000000001,0.041,-0.6369,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,3,0,11,0,0,2,1,17,15,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,8,1,5,12,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,42,10,2,0.21832408486978613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21334376894675205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166312818944905,0.0,0.0,0.14846786436333098,0.0,0.3340346546921752,0.24664407242278566,0.0,0.15265727642877228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105687792959491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420099899300998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110391217214927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407860871200968,0.1831198840727292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199852073763524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18561132961313445,0.0,0.0,0.14573302196488502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4408901770358472,0.0,0.17426420160979594,0.0,0.16049332307046113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23219014109175865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20841504289334212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23221453830181946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21450230489264013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405935526198471
mentalhealth,Seachili,2019/04/03,"Thoughts on ""prochoice"" suicide sites? Restricting medical information on suicide doesn't stop suicide, it only makes it less ""safe"". 

We have done more harm to someone who resorts to committing suicide in an agonizing manner because they didn't know any other way.

At the same time I can see why many people would oppose these sites. People who come across them may give on seeking help and kill themselves. ",7.495211267605632,9.361654859154932,6.401521126760564,74.45861971830986,63.78873239436618,8.496901408450704,36.735211267605635,8.841846274778883,3.4819160563380294,329,16,50,5,5,99,60,71,0.343,0.596,0.062,-0.9847,0,0,0,0,0,4,10.0,1,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,7,1,0,1,1,15,13,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,1,4,1,8,8,3,12,0,0,1,0,8,8,0,1,2,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557112602490373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359931347137916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14639598760482034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739167992650302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303053600427073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391321086656662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18802335303554096,0.0,0.0933995082523831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344225580208185,0.1723015789865352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17120570570171226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292538483426647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23564243165344345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542732411308184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399720906429386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420849470424072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7435863485461959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349204970922631,0.0990986099225946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489758030928325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335250973105002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120726870778963,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Invidia1999,2019/04/03,"dare2care Mental Health Peer Support Group Disclaimer: We are not a profit organisation, as such I believe this post is in adherence with the rules. If there is an issue, let me know.

*Do you often feel lonely? Ever in need of support? Or just another two eyes to look at something?* 

**dare2care is the server for you!**

We provide peer support to support good mental health and provide a solid support system for everyone above 16.

We aim to make a safe environment for everyone regardless of ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religion, etc.

We train our Helpers to support to the best of their ability, with the ability to start support sessions that are completely anonymous between you and the Helper.

We're a recently made young server looking for people of all kinds, and we welcome everyone above 16 equally.  [https://discord.gg/RrCR3hc](https://discord.gg/RrCR3hc)

If you have any questions, feel free to send a message or reply to this post!

See you around,   
Invidia  
dare2care Management ",5.421652148664343,9.056928128048778,5.2996167247386765,70.97662601626017,78.6951219512195,7.270150987224157,33.419279907084785,8.269060116576782,3.5847767711962835,799,42,109,17,21,248,104,164,0.026,0.727,0.248,0.99,0,2,1,0,0,0,42.0,6,5,1,1,6,17,0,0,11,0,8,3,1,2,2,29,25,8,0,4,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,11,0,1,4,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,1,6,14,17,24,23,4,12,0,1,4,0,19,4,0,6,4,78,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580086194174223,0.10146244372545844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613788812788116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901661787442896,0.10154479837908187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145216601340996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791419735567363,0.0,0.0875259491236203,0.0,0.27737811552514313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785063285835653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115861477720226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057050361585867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099344272621183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076178931455146,0.05317736669466524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989447742931469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625098979693585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155768664809244,0.06458878155071443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502484842903145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174712508287437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06708195916298106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534076146820064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10839457000185516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553990689607476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710606414948527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449141741538355,0.0,0.0,0.06848800029991288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7686233989302128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452152881846458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mssnmsnsn9,2019/04/03,"discussing drinking with therapist (not sure if this is the right sub so if it isn’t i apologize)

I’m 18 years old & recently got back into therapy for depression. I sort of have a problem with drinking - I get drunk by myself usually at least 4 times a week. If I brought this up in therapy would there be any consequences (such as telling my family/being marked down for substance abuse/etc)? ",2.7797368421052653,5.37781407894737,3.951842105263157,83.65039473684213,79.26315789473685,8.53684210526316,29.23684210526316,9.188382445141503,3.0261631578947368,314,15,59,9,8,102,63,76,0.126,0.843,0.032,-0.7778,0,0,2,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,0,1,11,9,5,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,6,1,12,5,1,14,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,4,7,38,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210176797102738,0.0,0.1387168058859574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685188613017054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569199545677952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996553157244632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22749721394499905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657375173635186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631454517536144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140479604141236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19518611162066635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20141059445389908,0.0,0.0,0.17420208918629698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19225346360201412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829189506683432,0.0,0.4665492867403748,0.2368423258250871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894530328655432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246606764379437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636244757214947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490510281483104,0.0,0.0,0.1313596624509761
mentalhealth,trashlady88,2019/04/03,"Help with Depression and SI I’m on meds. I’ve been trying not to take too many meds, but I’m still depressed af. I’m on a significant amount of stimulants (I really am ADD), but still lack the want to do things, and find little pleasure in actually doing anything. 
Help. ",1.5611111111111102,3.9955799259259273,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,83.07407407407408,7.303703703703704,21.962962962962962,8.344100000000001,1.4988740740740738,212,7,43,5,6,72,41,54,0.151,0.637,0.212,0.4424,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,11,9,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,7,8,2,6,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,24,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.224030236350116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889191063643753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954619617428968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098256609524027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077560291828676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23009256447655166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327510978201985,0.0,0.0,0.5100079371887751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707041105511115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666747599915333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17261040592086635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251817148050642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586507024331872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354081666859085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dantestolemywife,2019/04/03,"What do you watch that always makes you laugh? I think it’s important to have things that will make you laugh no matter how you’re feeling. Obviously this won’t apply to everyone, but it’d be cool if we could get a list going and maybe make *someone* smile today. 

Mine’s gotta go to pretty much any Norm Macdonald Live compilation, but [this is my favourite.](https://youtu.be/esGl6IbVE1Y)",4.3191071428571455,7.047003013888888,4.154761904761909,83.59500000000001,74.41666666666667,8.003174603174603,22.785714285714285,8.841846274778883,1.7585214285714283,315,9,57,7,7,96,60,72,0.022,0.726,0.253,0.9349,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,8,0,0,4,1,14,17,5,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,7,3,3,11,1,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,33,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195103800698279,0.0,0.0,0.17939929615526282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21063017251472066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520809871160497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338985345418564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378294138768281,0.0,0.29985768524810186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329483486960507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5282840501382677,0.0,0.2650317905366342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939301095218768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683887881726017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22352467128242692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526310414030255,0.16903827732453358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25006026649141777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TotteYesTotteNo,2019/04/03,"Death anxiety Hello, I have something i call death anxiety. It is The worst feeling Ever and I just feel helpless. This May be to little information so feel free to ask in The comments. But is there Anything i can do to get rid of it? ",0.26607902735562305,2.6864677659574454,2.59452887537994,88.42000000000002,94.74468085106385,5.238905775075988,23.7355623100304,6.868970318607317,1.1857136778115502,183,8,36,3,7,62,36,47,0.313,0.6,0.087,-0.922,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,1,9,12,3,2,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,2,5,10,1,3,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4856745090436061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26122233254035754,0.0,0.29675930016217705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32413709137478697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28713854293192065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4815147123551578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584692378113902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181537195969479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443773220599611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Xx_AfricaByToto_xX,2019/04/03,"I think the reason of my panic attacks/depression is my family and girl friend So just over the past few weeks I’ve been really stressed and sad. Like genuinely miserable, staying up till late crying. I’m always in my room when at home because I don’t want to interact with my family.

I’ll start with them first, they hate. I don’t know why or what I have done but the just hate me. Always angry at me, none of them ever say anything nice to me. 

I’m the only boy and middle child, maybe that has something to do with it. But nothing I do pleases them. I spend an hour sweeping the floor and mopping it? My mum comes home and yells at me and calls me a retard saying I haven’t done it right. She isn’t an alcoholic or drug user. My little sister always has bad things to say about me, she will get home call me a dick head or something like that. My older sister is probably the better of the 3. But still always grouchy, and we live with her boyfriend. They make the house a mess which I try to clean but just get yelled at for it. 

A few months ago my mum was at the shops with my little sister and she impulsively bought this puppy (which we couldn’t afford, she had to north money from my Grandma). She didn’t consult me or my big sister about it whatever, and now this silly little dog reminds me of how much my mum doesn’t care about me. A dog should make someone happy not sad. Anyway the next day my big sister and her boyfriend brought home a kitten. This worst part about all this is that our cat (which was pretty much mine since I cared for it the most) had ran away about 2 weeks prior. They completely forgot about my little cat that I loved so much and replaced him with this other two animals. This upset me beyond belief. 

I’ve dropped a very important school class because my mum told me I would never be able to do it because I am to stupid, my sisters get all the encouragement about everything. She has even taken my money to buy my sister video games before.

But I live with them and I have to. I’m 17 and make $100 a week from being a pizza boy. I can’t move out. I’m stuck here. I have to put up with this crap. I have no choice but to put up with it and it’s making miserable.

Now onto my girlfriend, which I love. But she is a bitch. She is very mean and rude. A stuck up brat. But she is my only escape from my family. I can go to hers or go out with her and I’m not at my shitty home. But she is stressful and really she really just takes a toll on me. 

I don’t know what to do. I feel very stuck and very lost. 
I am constantly staying up at night due to crying/panic attacks. I’m not motivated to do anything. I’m starting to get anxious at school. There just seems like no way out of this situation. ",1.5981134243612267,3.4129489191564173,3.1319815465729337,92.09727473975937,79.14059753954305,5.993794781668244,19.378160064891173,6.928431444225013,0.14128495335946978,2121,48,468,23,52,697,251,569,0.177,0.722,0.101,-0.9941,1,0,4,0,0,0,60.0,3,0,7,4,25,32,7,6,26,0,43,8,3,7,4,80,87,37,0,4,22,11,1,3,2,3,2,5,9,4,29,34,2,1,9,3,6,8,16,19,0,2,18,6,84,13,67,63,11,70,1,5,0,3,55,33,3,7,28,317,113,5,0.06851013076324232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060730097256863236,0.07321649452469614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280236681086609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739694712904355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275600035338673,0.0,0.0,0.07794016418679198,0.0643675230676628,0.0,0.05720309751723359,0.12528941947568634,0.0,0.058297075269957865,0.0,0.0,0.060591643243365086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399130068021833,0.0,0.13970128854797914,0.0,0.0,0.059015411350980075,0.0718315686454756,0.07403511268521751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525516165551703,0.044183366640584185,0.0,0.0590076752375026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021929996028978,0.0,0.0,0.0794500011583803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04525029523468977,0.06197133555436071,0.0,0.0,0.061572487971269116,0.0,0.19375576211426954,0.0,0.03464078061299945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582746822287974,0.0,0.0,0.0529307570809537,0.0,0.14317486268969834,0.0,0.07787177225866722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729303081381765,0.0,0.135279140865041,0.07031115933629034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436062356507791,0.0,0.06746867848687453,0.07905149255455056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753027523455452,0.0,0.07728241159218885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041176793164076,0.27466059712763985,0.12099140125544801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478690072696641,0.0,0.12366613565583146,0.0,0.18292417709739275,0.0,0.06882763473912402,0.07462761683422361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468413275044655,0.0728154267665672,0.1510884869629825,0.0,0.05283923636020348,0.0,0.07286130129719595,0.06429211671776681,0.0,0.06573731819577552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421008326034732,0.0,0.08038187711837046,0.0,0.07418979535308604,0.06540067189639523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520355037189308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06969943282282046,0.07386550838101523,0.0,0.0,0.13774320808429422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166803220727544,0.07043982477077891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850727733881416,0.0,0.1634460173346917,0.0,0.13867181982744048,0.0,0.062369049986293515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667228813151081,0.07700825743983951,0.0,0.0,0.058048411471917714,0.10548489152739482,0.0,0.0,0.09698364634786154,0.14604536766132592,0.05471227892566899,0.0,0.15695624663544866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151109214298498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045515086664089786,0.04389852547525072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654643658814321,0.0,0.04651388166514845,0.0,0.06692444284433892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261121313640005,0.040409050160441766,0.05438015291576262,0.16486408329266922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06181973694465585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04866763124252813,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThePondering_Stoner,2019/04/03,"Advice please My girlfriend suffers from some sort of mental health issue. She self harms with out knowing. There are voices, and memory loss. If anyone knows any way that I can help her please tell me",3.6898648648648624,6.585868729729732,3.006689189189192,89.98138513513516,77.91891891891892,4.781081081081081,17.35810810810811,5.985473137389443,-0.2283999999999997,161,3,28,1,4,47,36,37,0.187,0.654,0.159,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,4,1,2,0,2,0,0,6,1,0,3,0,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602313870544938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18109738319065294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18620752312168934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830710925218645,0.0,0.0,0.17849946702375266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27795453824487976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927099028550711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683740658209088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5846485882136686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778154997649025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327634019143371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21138150706862505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MaudlinEdges,2019/04/03,"Something weird happened. You know how in movies people see things that aren't there, like a flashback or a memory or whatever else?  Or someone says ""it was so real, like it was really happening"" - well, I've never had that.  Sure, I've had realistic dreams but never before have I experienced something where the line of reality is muddied. 
This morning my partner woke me up by kissing me goodbye on his way out.  When I opened my eyes it wasn't him though.  I was very much awake and very clearly seeing my ex husband, who I divorced because of his severe alcoholism.  I stared into his face for what felt like thirty long seconds but his face didn't change.  He was smiling and it was unmistakably him.
Then I felt my alarm go off and reached over to shut it off.  When I looked back at him he was my partner again.  It was early morning grey in our bedroom but I didn't think it was a light trick.  It was very clear.
The whole thing has me a little freaked out, honestly. I've never had an experience where I so clearly saw something that wasn't real.  There was a lot of emotional trauma from this marriage and I don't think of my ex husband fondly so why was he smiling?  Why think of him at all?  Why SEE him like he was actually standing there?
My first thought when I opened my eyes this morning was ""how the hell did he get in here?""

This experience has rattled me deeply and I'm trying to process it and make sense of it.

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mentalhealth,delta77a,2019/04/03,"Not sure anymore M28 Honestly, I'm not sure how to put this. I'm kind of exhausted. I have a relationship (F) and I wish I could say that it's all great. Truth be told, sometimes it is. That's when I get kind of too attached and it bursts like a bubble. One repeating thing would be me - expecting something and not getting it. (Alright - Now I sound like a child, bear with me.) It's like - we build this reputation but sometimes fail to meet expectations. Maybe I'm expecting too much but overall I believe I'm being overly dependent on her. // We plan on going out - it gets cancelled or delayed - I become a fucking train wreck. It's either fear, or anger or I don't even know anymore what kind of emotion. Mostly ends with an argument where I realize that I'm maybe asking  for too much or realize that no matter how much we argue, this isn't going to change. ",1.5243859649122804,3.9497331345029245,3.3083040935672514,87.37368421052633,83.15204678362574,6.4070175438596495,24.20467836257309,7.669130373188453,1.397285380116959,670,26,134,12,19,223,101,171,0.207,0.7120000000000001,0.08,-0.9794,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,3,0,0,2,9,18,3,1,5,1,9,2,0,3,4,38,24,12,0,6,10,0,0,3,0,1,1,2,0,1,16,9,0,1,3,0,0,3,6,6,0,1,1,2,15,12,13,18,6,13,0,1,0,1,11,5,1,6,8,87,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693417955585898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694881285519416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997351323317162,0.0,0.15299303973096012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14365176764933507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842024898795716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527496762669696,0.12027294485547405,0.0,0.0,0.0896904822815161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280570651022668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553912127741962,0.2128398679825254,0.0,0.15434941968382793,0.0,0.0,0.14971307392614308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242248403006023,0.07462868628777271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19902588139633556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728461205404725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994720629470245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201735024705536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651021170147593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579165365360314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107988629655785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454065266796836,0.26860695534406603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559679792666908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021532462527818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975673457392256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561560953924009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964639743233104,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PernellsMonster,2019/04/03,"My (F24) Gf (F27) is having serious mental health issues and I don't know how else to help My partner is in a very bad place right now. She hates her job to the point she wakes up with anxiety attacks everyday. We are very dependent on her salary so quitting without something lined up isn't an option. I've been fighting with her to seek help for over a year. We are in the process of finding a counselor but I fear she needs help at this very moment. We suspect she my have borderline personality disorder. Her rage and anxiety is unbearable. She feels hopeless, stuck and sucicidal. Her family isn't very supportive and she has a history of trauma. Are there any resources we can try? I'm trying to avoid over night treatment upon her request.",3.6016783216783246,5.892321895104897,4.625874125874127,81.48958041958043,74.80419580419581,8.036363636363637,29.181818181818183,8.841846274778883,2.5889552447552444,593,26,109,13,13,193,96,143,0.269,0.687,0.044,-0.9872,2,1,1,0,2,1,16.0,4,0,0,1,4,11,4,2,7,0,14,2,1,2,0,21,21,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,10,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,2,1,21,1,19,19,0,17,0,1,0,0,24,12,0,2,5,71,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544561794067704,0.0,0.2372398278149977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640229990965364,0.0,0.0,0.12946801009826742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17771135229117258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953211979061044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461760758581901,0.1744847830469168,0.07840262378911422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417213597894664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308892294096071,0.0,0.16482074862830573,0.0,0.0,0.3117988720342686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618415878146142,0.15387239525160756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521651732376209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626326957991216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497448082866896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145512616933849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353917699663121,0.16200393005998528,0.0,0.14658112574810492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492461578164913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324197657485533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937219830944445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17595941727419234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21055012621716115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5117605335612414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947159891122505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985308334600372
mentalhealth,captainbread1,2019/04/03,"Can you give yourself a mental disorder, issue, problem? (Idk the right terms) I think I’ve given myself multiple personalities. Not sure how. Just kinda happened",3.4977777777777765,5.934638592592592,4.957592592592594,67.53416666666669,107.51851851851852,6.2444444444444445,26.722222222222214,7.1686216300943375,2.9718444444444447,130,6,16,3,6,43,26,27,0.26,0.74,0.0,-0.7478,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,7,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857569522181718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3228841585954549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976420701265141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513085509316465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33919972944681565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938940921008494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220675419154871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287442780610384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172285155583954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156708498710256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dirtydrops19,2019/04/03,"I think I may be developing a serious mental illness Okay so about 3 weeks ago, I stand up out of bed to go to the bathroom. About 3 seconds after getting up, I can't move my body anymore. I sway around like a tree in a thunderstorm and everything I hear is run through this distant distorted loop, not unlike after inhaling laughing gas (nitrous oxide). Now, it scared the shit out of me, but I didn't think too much of it. 

Last night as I was in bed, this happened to me multiple times as I was lying down, not after any movement whatsoever. I felt my body become very heavy and immobilised, the sound loop happened again and I got CEV's. This time distinct auditory hallucinations accompanied the event. I heard two people talking on my couch, what they were saying I am not sure. Then I heard a man's laugh... VERY distinct. I feeling of helplessness and terror is very apparent, but the last time it happened I just observed as it took me over, this was when I hear the laugh. One time I felt also like a couldn't breath. I have also felt even during the day recently, as if there is a beast behind me sometimes, about to attack. 

My concern is that I have been taking a lot of drugs recently, namely clanozolam (the RC benzo, not Klonopin) and I am wondering if this has catalysed or precipitated these events. I also took MDMA this weekend. I have a strong history of substance abuse and mental illness in my family.   


Does this sound like something that could be potentially serious? Has anyone else experienced this? ",5.790301535087718,6.767052704861111,6.382690058479535,76.29973684210529,67.09027777777779,9.257602339181288,32.171783625730995,9.414487439383343,2.9475597222222216,1201,49,217,23,19,392,163,288,0.129,0.78,0.091,-0.9009,1,0,2,0,1,0,39.0,0,0,1,1,15,16,2,2,16,1,23,7,4,0,3,34,43,21,0,4,10,0,4,3,0,1,3,7,3,1,16,9,0,0,7,1,0,6,7,7,0,3,14,13,33,9,33,24,2,40,0,1,0,0,9,11,1,6,25,153,49,0,0.0,0.12397670366258134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927536157418656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25103242574538703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115615643348508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377092425852123,0.07316401491229603,0.10721208037168847,0.0,0.09314833972698053,0.0,0.1190387034827715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155623845918737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23245430350451976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354343537723928,0.0,0.0,0.0674816474314071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156778237465653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134469086993545,0.0,0.08741005988667094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911117692850494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404020654540143,0.0,0.09864163085895204,0.0,0.052907171223298265,0.0,0.30140128141823225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466805915708398,0.0,0.05946712394242226,0.0,0.08368707174483002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775881522185387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358650461586208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705848228751884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335978302982622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889578957871866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21089721644557302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121164660448253,0.0769195950376461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819391963178503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090414960035324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254151753045189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20663110968839984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321085025479691,0.104759019914574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740748364408062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055400482829485,0.10348780797467337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861831407934044,0.0,0.0786733475308951,0.08410255763874422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409321399055546,0.0,0.0,0.2440566751412832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325091806834419,0.0,0.0,0.10221429465306413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25900729656011584,0.0,0.0,0.08393279182305835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347341935933378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dilll6n,2019/04/03,"I don’t know how to reach for help I’ve been feeling depressed for awhile now and I think I really need to take the steps to start feeling better. I’m sick of drifting through everyday or even having thoughts about ending my life. I feel like I want to reach out to one of my parents but I don’t know if they’d take it seriously or let me go see a therapist so I’m not sure if it’s worth it. I also don’t know how to bring it up to them.

Any advice would be appreciated",1.826730769230771,2.8419520576923105,3.889615384615386,90.33038461538463,76.5,7.123076923076923,23.57692307692308,7.6454224807358475,0.8023500000000001,370,11,89,5,8,127,70,104,0.091,0.731,0.179,0.6009,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,1,7,5,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,2,1,22,27,10,0,5,6,1,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,8,0,1,4,4,2,0,1,2,4,12,3,15,21,0,10,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,4,5,55,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20346599601717572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651003952054158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141593832565917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18414988769864465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17933589826405769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844173300552888,0.0,0.0,0.13752452219079073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158403792114894,0.148749355064919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183337944700672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395626110193908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34328975034068243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21291468517449247,0.14706892376489744,0.10172368552522462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438932129893362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109236347140106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311989211989331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338832467421907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16592097451041388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14737616136132292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962408560492737,0.0,0.3131046238592953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24175450417284014,0.0,0.13341622876829165,0.0,0.1653000271960282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228110288933134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791047656315176,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LemonLordTheGreat,2019/04/03,"Need help with my sisters Ex/roommate. Needing advice of what services could be used in this situation (UK). 

Okay so my sister (S) used to date her trans female roommate (R) and recently things have gone crazy. R is always very emotionally controlling and essentially has S in an emotional cage. I got a message off S that R had broke S’s bedroom door after going ballistic out of what was literally a regular conversation. R needs to go. The thing is that R has had MANY mental health issues including depression and another array of things I can’t fully understand. R has spoken about plans to commit suicide and said that one of her personalities wants to kill R. S doesn’t want to kick R out because she could go completely mental, potentially hurting S or killing herself. What can S do in this situation so that nobody gets hurt (or that damage is minimal)?

Thanks. ",5.6103209109730825,7.37589839130435,6.79281055900621,70.25807712215321,68.19254658385093,10.087163561076606,32.67132505175984,10.317481424215053,3.79311138716356,695,31,116,19,12,234,110,161,0.187,0.74,0.073,-0.9734,0,0,0,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,0,2,3,9,2,0,4,1,17,1,0,3,1,21,33,8,3,7,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,13,7,0,1,1,0,0,4,2,7,0,1,6,1,8,2,18,24,0,13,0,5,0,0,11,6,0,2,3,69,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260003543352495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728983852925836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520663376643624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786016743873869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519293791210954,0.0,0.14461910066838912,0.20589893918734475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105731261548997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900841549263811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736672568615266,0.0,0.2198416490950814,0.0,0.10312647078821338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705901645273966,0.0,0.0,0.0864269154778639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760695515179229,0.0,0.0,0.13458165329077554,0.0,0.0,0.28530981291892804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072666366340133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25988584828735506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868259498398274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737424503057321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125869344837538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731439069938125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265310100008303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898717865446397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410413112039612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871220989960647,0.0,0.0,0.2569894435611835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423287562123967,0.0,0.2227284889843617,0.0,0.10639042106799892,0.15210633186616387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,helloitsperdendo,2019/04/03,"I want to vent I don’t really talk about it. I never really talked about it in therapy.

I was adopted when I was 15 years old. I was the 3rd oldest of 5 kids. My mother had a problem with narcotics, I had found out when I was 13 and it made me angry. Most of the time we didn’t have a place to live. We would stay in homeless shelters or hotels. We would move often and I still don’t know why. Because we moved so often I never really went to school. I got 4 years of school altogether. I got angry because I realized why we never had a place to live was because my mother would use her SSI to buy pills. She was always like so zoned out and just didn’t care about anything. She was there but not really ya know? Her physical presence was there but she wasn’t. Ever since I had discovered she had a problem with pills I had started to hate her. One day I was angry at her for some reason. So I decided “I’m going to commit suicide and she’ll miss me then” so I drank laundry soap. Obviously it didn’t work for 2 reasons 1) that was a very half assed suicide attempt and looking back I realized it was for attention 2) laundry soap is not going to kill you. It’s gonna make you a little sick but that’s it. 
But I drank laundry soap and everybody panicked so I was taken to the hospital. I was evaluated by a psychiatrist and put into a behavioral health hospital. Behavorial health hospitals aren’t that bad they are better than a homeless shelter for sure. So I kept doing fake suicide attempts trying to get put back in. I liked the attention and it was away from my mother who I hated so much. About the 3rd one I went into I started talking about my home life. That’s when my psychiatrists at the hospital started calling DCFS. DCFS would dismiss the cases even though we would be living in a room with multiple other families sleeping on cots and we couldn’t shower more than twice a week. But I was persistent. I kept going to behavorial health hospitals and telling the doctors everything and each time they would call DCFS. I kept going into psychiatric hospitals because I didn’t have a phone and neither did my mother so I would say I was suicidal to someone in charge at the shelters and go to the hospital and get admitted. But anyway my mother knew exactly where the reports were coming from. I was trying to get her to get help. I wanted my mother back. I wanted to be able to go to school. Since she knew I was the one reporting her she asked a family friend to take me. We called him Uncle even though he wasn’t blood family. He was a very hyper gay man. Him and his husband agreed to take me. They saw me as the black sheep of the family. I moved in with them and July 2015 I was adopted by my new dads. They gave me everything I wanted. I was now living in a upper middle class neighborhood. But I wanted my family. It hurt that I was the only one who got adopted. But those men saved my life and I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for my two wonderful dads. They immediately put me into intensive therapy that I continued for 3 years. I saw a therapist 4 days a week including group therapy. It helped get me better but I’ve never gotten over the feeling of abandonment knowing I was the only one out of 5 children to get adopted. I know I was a little shit but I wanted my mom.It’s been 4 years since I was adopted but I can’t get over the anger and the hurt. I know that my story has painted me in a bad light and that’s fine. I just wanted to get this off my chest. ",1.809020322241114,3.881861955307265,3.882654845761479,85.70812282406284,79.58659217877096,7.055752570642055,23.08630880090681,8.088419202927124,1.3698911667071492,2744,91,557,52,69,936,280,716,0.135,0.7929999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9954,2,0,0,0,0,4,55.0,8,3,6,6,34,23,5,0,38,0,65,17,5,5,9,114,129,47,5,19,17,9,1,2,1,10,9,1,3,4,25,40,2,4,18,1,1,15,20,14,0,8,60,7,112,9,73,55,6,79,0,4,4,2,67,31,2,7,34,394,137,8,0.0530002827933157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044100481048170465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361471682213642,0.0,0.04954810989948225,0.0,0.04979551034694226,0.12226183786753395,0.08850604461825473,0.12923392183986288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374888621678246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235764355650767,0.0,0.05403732059146838,0.0,0.0,0.045655050660682296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836159559538076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05424803525323435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001237385482645,0.04794179011000817,0.0,0.0,0.09526647339333877,0.0,0.24981974856581765,0.0,0.026798535460615863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05811207445773234,0.04094788701322977,0.0,0.2215236820280456,0.0,0.18072769262062552,0.0,0.12716750345336955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465361315192216,0.0,0.16901046661301306,0.0,0.0,0.07104994471669307,0.0,0.05316360502061345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347579781633245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058636960265612666,0.0,0.14563784673033486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487133428298855,0.05178652205024523,0.10624041406556596,0.1872008828667661,0.0,0.0445068890840699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050150149072261625,0.0353781003184789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06207329064399554,0.0,0.16899273876797027,0.038961306143784916,0.0,0.16350834181599205,0.05118800338745059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05561488118438404,0.0,0.17957181639425246,0.08061820669705567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107480299677021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142822557732734,0.0,0.15983976895085014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358133532288072,0.1089862357923254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04214795215283023,0.0,0.1609173472106705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05440402865280943,0.13152714484932293,0.0,0.05303855896369632,0.0,0.04490696761835792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254161885620194,0.056491249545658526,0.04232609430199821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23189482832759364,0.0,0.04995213930011741,0.0,0.07969923338799187,0.1277988590827105,0.04632458324338413,0.0,0.18183132718380945,0.061537413319478936,0.0,0.0,0.10414501749459767,0.0,0.06180978222753255,0.0,0.0502380709276582,0.0,0.0,0.07196742597345522,0.0,0.05177357504677444,0.0,0.0,0.0457752273746962,0.0,0.08746156788625738,0.218826579870322,0.0,0.08502725985804452,0.0,0.0,0.09826358627303028,0.0956490231086543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057476545848653075,0.03858483710385535,0.0,0.0,0.26354916170778986,0.0,0.0,0.13652177774546614
mentalhealth,jaanegreeen,2019/04/03,"I want to be gone, but don’t want to kill myself.. It’s like I’m just hoping for a freak accident or a car crash to end it all.
I’m just tired...",-2.521285714285714,-1.038667199999999,0.9710714285714308,103.68517857142858,92.42857142857143,4.642857142857143,11.607142857142858,5.985473137389443,-1.4782857142857146,108,1,32,1,4,39,26,35,0.38,0.42,0.2,-0.9109,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,8,8,2,1,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,4,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36321729733068375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073110921294328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4537029238589802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20034886157342932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713371920419461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.483762453167026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Toukenn,2019/04/03,"Trying to do something This post is half venting and half trying to move on. I've spent probably the past 6-7 years doing nothing. More so the past maybe 4-5. I have literally just been doing nothing and been interested in nothing. I hate it and i genuinely don't know how to move on. I feel very incapable and incompetent at things and worry about my future once my parents can no longer take care of me(I'm currently 21). I also feel pretty bad about the burden I put on them. I don't really have the social skills or any skills really to be able to work and survive in the real world. I do however find myself somewhat interested in coding. I have briefly looked into it and took a uni class(Computer Science 1) on it and it seems like something i could maybe do. The class I took was on java so I know just the very basics of that but I am going to start learning python or C.

​

The point of this post is I am wondering if anyone would be interested in learning coding as well. It would be good for me and give me more motivation to do something that could potentially be a hobby but also a skill for a job. But I think this also might be good for anyone else who is like me and just doing nothing all day everyday and wasting away just feeling depressed. Tbh I think it could be quite fun, even the little text game i made was one of the most fun things i've done in awhile.",4.064247311827955,5.197228068100363,5.2454820788530485,82.30155645161294,71.18637992831542,8.017275985663083,26.13637992831541,8.395991825355821,1.6502715412186375,1097,34,219,17,20,364,147,279,0.08900000000000001,0.785,0.126,0.9273,4,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,7,14,15,1,0,14,0,35,0,0,3,1,47,55,24,0,6,10,1,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,14,12,0,0,13,1,1,6,3,4,1,3,9,4,24,11,30,34,5,32,0,1,1,0,6,16,0,8,10,155,38,6,0.09541155939336324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289017687268769,0.0,0.1033783847401806,0.11593548797852762,0.0648831321892701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342796151418626,0.09776041781494256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08964230080654044,0.0,0.07966466674996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727844364863153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22853509939905864,0.0,0.0,0.061532562607348525,0.0,0.08217783629757625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763915144528512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970411492925984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301843513146871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472885367763574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720443675939461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152746176560812,0.0542245879634974,0.16005337849675708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419916178479328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946812504527826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487139562949922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322653699115438,0.09562744802817028,0.0,0.0,0.08012167987515198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028072445299433,0.0,0.0,0.1917074711916914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012165867526534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20281477610079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661998580076756,0.0,0.0,0.1016101968574932,0.06465334191550823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594324550953556,0.0,0.18216225896788704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019476336813667,0.0,0.18275579941563969,0.09706785697782168,0.10286979840063973,0.0,0.0,0.09591497003986346,0.0,0.10148193785582944,0.0,0.10859924283830344,0.12224617619999208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685910026415572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972600693405349,0.0,0.2203574394241646,0.0,0.0,0.06753279281922367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173761854873477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677440098756446,0.12227174941870543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120115062651617,0.12955637169769574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744905761274078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578645036227366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346976617746938,0.0694607515845564,0.096895069951267,0.0,0.1355552686033442,0.0,0.11593548797852762,0.061441916058473676
mentalhealth,ion-thief,2019/04/03,"I dont know how to title this I keep telling people im okay, but im not. My mom (only parent) almost died because of hospital neglect and I'm basicly living alone right now and I'm 16. I've been homeschooled all my life and i tried to got to community collage but i flunked out. my dyphoria and depression is getting worse all the time and we dont have to money or the health care to afford a concealer. 

I feel super backed into a corner and im haven't had the chance to process death or what i would done if she died (no living relatives) im not sure what to do.",-0.4047004132231393,1.8138861900826484,2.084994834710745,93.58385588842975,92.05785123966942,4.677892561983471,19.959194214876035,6.322622252153567,0.17548305785123966,443,15,97,5,16,151,78,121,0.276,0.636,0.08800000000000001,-0.9825,2,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,1,3,7,0,0,5,1,10,2,0,1,3,26,18,12,3,2,7,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,9,0,2,2,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,4,1,11,4,10,13,2,7,0,3,0,0,5,4,0,4,3,58,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198941970676887,0.14685914209373208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903329914939212,0.0,0.0864382609446075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457170227552424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212972614747515,0.0,0.29432622682974857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510777314827195,0.3323705398438735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169692811608291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408318791206152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134081794282802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072379973185734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6126612620031899,0.0,0.0,0.12603587229072516,0.0,0.0,0.07792803635371462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015556036507524,0.0,0.0,0.2504190623008272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607117444055253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078431651405155,0.0,0.0,0.15744901720703885,0.0,0.0,0.0983043290268004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109403955101775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364218898859082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393700841187992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268309139040349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09627099537400913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14450346745813009,0.10072866710937088,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uraguaythrowaway,2019/04/03,"I’ve always been a very reasonable and emotionally stable person, but lately I’ve been having these feelings of rage that just won’t go away. I used to be able to rationalize extreme emotions away, such as rage, jealousy, and hopelessness, but I’m really struggling here. 

I’m well rested, work out regularly, and all in all I take good care of myself. My life is stressful at the moment, but not any more so than it usually is. Lately when minor bad things happen, I start to feel extreme anger and I get urges to explode. Not desires to harm people or anything, but just urges to scream and yell, break shit, make the situation significantly worse. Minor arguments that I used to be able to brush off and never think about again just eat at me until I have myself so worked up that I’m shaking. 

I don’t have insurance and can’t afford to speak to a therapist or whatever would be useful. How do I deal with these feelings? ",6.865674157303367,6.7500835449438235,7.262112359550558,74.70058426966294,64.67415730337079,10.041348314606743,31.28314606741573,9.642632912329526,2.7830701123595505,733,24,135,13,10,240,114,178,0.255,0.653,0.093,-0.9905,1,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,2,12,14,4,3,4,0,15,3,1,6,3,35,32,19,0,2,11,0,3,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,7,9,1,0,5,0,0,2,6,11,1,0,2,7,12,3,25,25,4,20,0,1,0,0,3,8,1,2,9,94,19,2,0.2745648494115442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422997482095205,0.0,0.0,0.09335675641485967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297173831218975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579627141443006,0.0,0.11462509033860888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399685813815227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153215182061085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047419306890466,0.0,0.30884850016957804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20824235641970645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172440078564069,0.0,0.07802076563500912,0.1151459845226777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139839478514425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097211093392765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696663649331863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916370845066012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058806691261208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517434782168403,0.1198697180231116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794663658390704,0.14114919695308115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091843615902214,0.0,0.15431119727740472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716920679550768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572565536715655,0.1435173975125201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032192983701839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593954761253612,0.09120434289540223,0.08796503453010361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557038118058234,0.1511971956985345,0.11327237776086165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343338676690242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998864804231782,0.0,0.139902519140841,0.097521495685793,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shawnmcgrath123,2019/04/03,"I want to help, but I don’t know how. There is a girl in my class I wanted to get to know for a while, after giving her my number, and talking for a few days (in and out of school) and she has made some offhand jokes about killing herself, (not uncommon for a 16 y/o) but she started telling me about all this hate and resentment she has built up, she has been through some awful stuff. We were on FaceTime and even after me trying my best she still self harmed, right on the call. I went on to plead for hours that she see a professional to get help and did all I could to convince her. She has awful trust issues and continuously said she wouldn’t. What can I do?",4.73804347826087,4.384305956521743,5.160688405797104,88.7871195652174,69.14492753623188,8.059420289855073,26.67028985507246,7.1686216300943375,0.9720985507246382,514,13,119,4,8,164,87,138,0.172,0.667,0.161,-0.7791,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,1,6,8,3,0,6,2,13,0,0,2,2,24,26,11,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,9,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,6,2,23,4,23,18,6,17,0,0,1,0,21,8,0,2,8,90,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109149524726688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20522192412247164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16046529506004742,0.0,0.0,0.12961476167843775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274466566646662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21000635665484155,0.1927972709260258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984250515122614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694238357520905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792372894470212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20976975199783496,0.0,0.0,0.22235337148534787,0.0,0.2209054909372386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017109134236004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716348794878613,0.19117695428338385,0.0,0.0,0.2034013730173653,0.16015415969148608,0.0,0.20966482092656286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225389738111813,0.0,0.16050200636637216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23007275272203626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615392240678971,0.17566441405150302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645147812773278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370851206882339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863094505843868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,simplysaysea,2019/04/03,"I hadn’t really noticed until last year when someone pointed it out to me, but April is notoriously a horrible month for me and I’m feeling shitty and I’m terrified. April 2011 I was raped, and April last year I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation, mania, and delusions. Upon reflection, other years have been difficult as well. I hadn’t put the two together until a close friend I’ve confided in pointed it out. 

I have worked so hard for the last year to address my mental health: counseling, medication, journaling, exercise, yoga, healthier diet kinda, maintaining positive influences in my life, communicating how I’m feeling with those who I’m really close with, I’m in a good relationship, etc. 

And maybe it’s just knowing that I’m coming up on a year, or maybe it’s some weird coincidence, or maybe it’s an actual annual cycle, but I feel like shit. I feel like a shell and I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. And then I realized it’s April and now I feel ever shittier about myself.

I’m wavering between bouts of severe anxiety and apathy/depression. I’m having trouble sleeping again. I just cried for the first time in a long time. I’m lonely. I’m having horrible nightmares again. 

Luckily, no suicidal ideation or anything like that, but it feels like I’m standing on a fucking grenade. I’m about to lose my health insurance and I have one more appointment with my counselor before that happens.

I don’t want this. I want to stay on top of this. I’m fucking terrified I’m “losing it” again. And I’ve been doing so well!! I’m so burned out and I don’t know what to do. ",3.1491396049548044,5.455573647249197,5.024416917754717,78.01805825242721,76.28155339805825,8.922263140274524,28.13090056913291,9.494082108488547,2.9829525945764983,1263,54,231,36,29,431,153,309,0.251,0.625,0.124,-0.9949,0,2,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,5,17,18,4,0,11,0,18,11,2,2,1,47,49,27,2,2,8,0,7,4,1,0,5,0,1,0,18,21,1,0,11,2,0,2,6,10,2,3,6,7,22,8,32,43,3,48,0,3,0,3,3,17,3,5,31,142,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0966457135062872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576294594026706,0.0,0.0982179779036614,0.0,0.0,0.08149891785598593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427309471389598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531150709242552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878736774592783,0.0,0.0,0.08530032392035758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045230598033197,0.06541292849574414,0.08958453244069657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004561486535143,0.21225591127269908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424072377813448,0.0,0.0,0.07651565167043853,0.1831160086253823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306744035510485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757799032092496,0.0,0.08871759612294493,0.0,0.0,0.2105431551383255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632842458540143,0.24218483862756146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995268073597058,0.19353767783621265,0.0,0.0,0.08764452670573056,0.0,0.2215938832959156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984875872988797,0.0,0.0,0.09976924241709492,0.09980588634438246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790502967307604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275414997137093,0.0,0.0,0.06710995636288299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724373572851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955942358454443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689112901591426,0.0,0.0,0.10632855095801844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188349030836384,0.10165993924233467,0.0,0.0,0.09910840824233544,0.0,0.08391363126384957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556014212081052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166605556809019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549840814055985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674464601146313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682904144676293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809210691266264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210003179517764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188825344036104
mentalhealth,HWRMC,2019/04/03,Depersonalization from lack of sleep? Lately I have been staying up late and last night I got less than 2 hours of sleep. And all throughout today I have been experiencing depersonalization and even a numb feeling in my arms. Could this be caused by lack of sleep?,4.270625000000003,7.209026479166668,4.624833333333335,79.00350000000002,75.875,6.34,22.1,7.554174236665415,0.8357450000000002,213,6,40,3,5,67,36,48,0.154,0.815,0.031,-0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,6,5,4,1,1,9,8,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,8,3,4,9,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,28,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22064280193504965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148791135121247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418631078429691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086014747611904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178275080282215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21151942462617407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507799895341866,0.4845724445865077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015606625344892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6448187138208709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22893165265606466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035905506821148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HalfDeadWeirdo,2019/04/03,"He isn't doing so well My little brother has struggled with his mental health his whole life. These last few years he just gets more and more depressed it seems. He started seeing a therapist, taking meds and we thought he was getting better. 

My dad has been keeping an eye on him, making sure he's okay. Tonight he said something wasn't right and took him to the hospital to be admitted. He was right, my brother had posted about ending it all tonight on his social media. He's been admitted and will be under watch for 4 days. 

I'm terrified. He's my lil brother, love him to death. Wish I saw what was going on. So much has been going on these last few months and I'm not doing so well. Terrified for the future, thinking of ways to make things better. What I could have done to fix this or at least help in some way. 


I'm so scared, but I can't think. Mind is racing. Can't stop crying, I should have showed him I cared more. I think school might be a big part in his depression. He hates it, but won't say it. He likes his friend, but I think he's being harassed. I'm worried. I should have done more. I need to do more before it's too late.

The scariest thing I've ever seen is my father, a very stoic person, break down and cry his eyes out. We're all trying so hard, but he won't talk to us. 

I'm not very religious, but I'm praying for help, for something. Anything. ",1.117372050816698,3.2018973929824597,2.444162129461585,95.04315789473686,82.08771929824562,5.0538415003024815,19.301270417422867,6.129581340695534,-0.15624863883847515,1067,27,235,8,29,343,155,285,0.121,0.735,0.14400000000000002,0.1898,1,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,2,0,0,2,11,16,2,2,7,1,35,5,2,2,4,42,68,17,1,5,9,5,1,1,1,6,2,2,0,1,12,9,0,2,8,1,0,3,8,6,2,0,15,9,26,10,24,42,14,34,1,2,6,1,41,14,0,4,14,142,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791263683290654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090513304065573,0.0,0.0,0.188966302843962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892110935751803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529569217337528,0.0,0.23469721081586514,0.0688970210606121,0.0,0.18402640417363286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21864997615629045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462037005944668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663456489350483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253720263160991,0.0,0.11162935602355868,0.0,0.12142879869196062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956994033028389,0.1054732869617856,0.0,0.11355613315036447,0.0,0.0,0.14321285203682682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495611390523397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416270321792254,0.12050978329458345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545774568315883,0.05219212730887,0.10707251610519816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641895808974142,0.0,0.14262076252014158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866492338127906,0.0,0.10766030851458226,0.11333058487552768,0.10786864292782583,0.0,0.08527131661189795,0.0,0.07853292207587638,0.07921367644869537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568733398031725,0.0,0.0,0.09328052436183196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023143651730881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18246582030753355,0.10162054441178008,0.08495613134376379,0.10695625664266613,0.10811846196424488,0.08513030746130326,0.09725473808709337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089005359401555,0.0,0.16448712141513744,0.0,0.0,0.07561538236004403,0.0,0.0,0.08931532323006823,0.0,0.11168273618890293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068675440967524,0.0,0.0803234581262195,0.08586654157751171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403878009465935,0.14194725856815868,0.27381142399593084,0.0,0.08481171340803842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869293747322746,0.07253109322255531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285042855252033,0.0,0.0,0.17629317841904793,0.0,0.16959461560247766,0.0,0.0,0.1921074184750066,0.0,0.0,0.11927276085119524,0.12285013517231375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084918519922762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879552557720839
mentalhealth,CompletePromise,2019/04/03,"My managers contact information that threatened to fire me and harassed me for taking care of my mental health by being hospitalized Veronica Whitsel

Cell: +1 (618) 727-9058

Work: 585.264.3526

Email: veronica.whitsel@concentrix.com

By the way I’m in the USA what she did is illegal lol so don’t go on about how I’m a shitty person for doing this 

Edit: By the way I’m posting this to prove the wrongness of their actions ",4.241071428571427,7.164533025974027,4.8676461038961065,77.30718344155845,75.88311688311687,6.447402597402598,27.806818181818183,7.6454224807358475,1.9283259740259744,341,14,57,5,8,109,61,77,0.187,0.743,0.07,-0.8779,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,3,3,1,0,5,1,5,1,0,1,1,4,11,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,1,6,1,12,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,35,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224393483655976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973294136464207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33616041731394003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31870699745021513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761384975588695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028813921327661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23778167197763606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5020512338125801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302347636112092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457712266960534,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aliensdonthavenames,2019/04/03,"Not quite sure what is going on I don't know much about mental health, aside from the more commonly taught issues such as clinical depression and anxiety disorders, mostly because a multitude of my friends have to deal with these on a daily basis, so, I apologize if this is the wrong reddit to post on to ask questions like these, but I appreciate any help offered (I'm new to reddit, so sorry for that as well!).

​

I'm having an issue with my emotions, more specifically how quick I am to flip between emotions or am provoked. 

​

Some days feel like everything is crushing me inside, a day like this being where after I lashed out at someone and I cried a multitude of times (at separate intervals throughout the day), finding it hard to breathe with how shaken I was. To my recollection, there wasn't anything too stressful going on around me to have caused this kind of reaction. Yes, my relationship with this person I snapped at isn't the best, in fact I'd say its the closest I've gotten to 'hating' someone in a while, but I deal with them on a daily basis (with grit teeth) so this should have really been another average day. 

​

And after that day, it was fairly average, except for the dizzy and hazy feeling I continued to have, everything feeling like too much or too little all at once. I continue to have hazy days like this now, even weeks after this one incident. This isn't the only time this has occurred, feeling dizzy, but its a lot more frequent now as of ever.

​

I cry easily, but I also get angry easily.

​

I do not have an anger management problem, at least from my knowledge, but I am very quick to anger when provoked. When my friends tease me, I tease back, but there are instances where my anger has overcome me and made me sick. One day, a very close friend of mine was crying, curled up in a ball thanks to her best friend for reasons I think are too personal to name, but this friend of her's came by and proceeded to act friendly towards the group (my friend included). Instantly, and I feel kind of scared by this now, I lashed out, biting back and shoving the 'ex-friend' back and telling them to, as I so eloquently said, 'fuck off'. That would have been the end of it, but they provoked further by insulting me to my face, and I in another irrational fit of anger had to be held back by the acquaintance of mine I had been recently introduced to.

​

Is it normal to have such flips in emotions? From calm to irrational anger in seconds? To quiet to bawling my eyes out because I got told off by two people for being rude? I feel as if I'm unstable in the sense that I could break down any second, like a big ball of emotions and tension ready to burst. 

​

I appreciate any help this subreddit is willing to offer, thanks and best wishes!",8.465718567147142,7.153180610389612,8.082384044526904,74.03965142000857,62.00556586270872,11.409190809190813,37.24282859997146,10.389873798559362,3.735006507777936,2235,89,413,42,26,712,248,539,0.158,0.654,0.188,0.9701,0,0,0,0,0,0,93.0,0,0,3,4,33,40,11,3,24,1,41,8,4,8,4,74,69,39,0,8,15,0,7,6,7,3,3,3,0,2,25,24,0,1,13,2,0,4,6,17,1,5,17,11,49,23,91,45,13,74,0,1,1,1,33,34,1,8,40,306,74,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03886680273273793,0.0,0.3686198384850315,0.4133951305269107,0.0991525719594746,0.1019263472220132,0.03718020650277088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03999509995330624,0.043265862578915903,0.04543607645118087,0.0,0.0,0.1494869861145925,0.0,0.059254352635389834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301361762261548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558745551463733,0.0,0.04992738626777797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03880454343036678,0.0,0.16016022400483554,0.2194087608052452,0.10021254241532833,0.04186061693816129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055701817329128586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186817131303388,0.04304672564126612,0.0,0.0,0.03210099817581328,0.04396306630190065,0.0,0.0,0.08736023991864439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744703381481933,0.06944220128200705,0.0,0.0,0.04442111993889032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003967382201783,0.044931535661394906,0.02539240894554925,0.0,0.05524299026686697,0.0,0.038871260146517934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043537622558673314,0.04798416708235253,0.0,0.05166138861574655,0.0,0.0,0.06515345845782856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145520187067483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122248930033753,0.026710251315939716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424661634796463,0.04871172266188309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041319470703599835,0.0,0.045988151957925785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04897913377605311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145575838021515,0.0,0.0,0.04693987399345406,0.0,0.0,0.04761939687246077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05175927864856834,0.06586760863103623,0.03696382173079421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03369433462730264,0.0848743486704707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04654704271394384,0.0,0.0,0.046505311917934736,0.0,0.0,0.05444508417757405,0.051693944719379985,0.0,0.0,0.031135526223472536,0.04997069466052696,0.047988365775013926,0.05218009189975787,0.0,0.0,0.04623139491064867,0.038650063143916585,0.04865883141675613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236021184411457,0.0,0.0,0.05440568118484927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567314158720073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04580657515987079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04248007260187109,0.08949192497922752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03114203960202244,0.0,0.0,0.0566801437313829,0.0,0.0,0.04644105588353367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04747684863758597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020306916009448,0.0,0.0,0.03898539305719211,0.0,0.04369881100417389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05588961510542177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03452528947346789,0.05313838511155212,0.4133951305269107,0.0
mentalhealth,cygnus-x97,2019/04/03,"How to choose the best type of therapy Hey guys, 
I’ve been struggling with obsessive thoughts, rumination, mood swings and an overall negative outlook on life and myself for a while. I have tried different types of therapy and nothing has seemed to work enough so far. I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist last week, and he told me I should probably start taking meds. However, several people have adviced I should try cognitive behavioural therapy. I want a wider rage of opinions, considering I’ve been feeling quite down and desperate lately. I just want to find the best option asap. I’d appreciate any opinions!",7.153818181818181,9.148161609090913,7.043409090909094,69.05511363636364,64.72727272727272,11.31818181818182,37.38636363636364,11.20814326018867,4.955727272727271,507,26,79,16,8,161,81,110,0.124,0.743,0.132,-0.1669,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,3,6,1,2,6,0,8,1,0,1,0,21,16,8,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,5,1,9,2,11,9,3,9,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,6,48,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542604509097278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10735124731019437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313318531756612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493168991505314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631131498241798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981952802333106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442825699258106,0.13427692877875502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630772434690207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286782087854766,0.17807467120063827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150226051957264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17534856205421434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147238656444353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944130176491224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020141901662322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790515871674472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437111994901559,0.0,0.17833858478260328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173519678945933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650311367419114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869221738255065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5415852197220784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253244140534276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084344794013346,0.0,0.2143552203700612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862216298016784,0.0,0.12662698976517628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149250671184278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThatAndWhatnot,2019/04/04,"Anyone grow up with a parent, who themself was never able to properly mourn/heal/recover from the death of their own parent, when they were a child themselves? Can't find anything on Google, so I just wanted to ask if anyone else on here has their own frame of reference, with such a dynamic...?",12.082857142857144,7.5018901428571425,10.712142857142858,68.13285714285718,58.28571428571429,14.057142857142859,40.5,11.20814326018867,4.299099999999998,232,7,43,4,2,73,46,56,0.08199999999999999,0.918,0.0,-0.644,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,0,1,8,6,3,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,10,4,2,6,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,2,32,5,0,0.2777307010647537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883915274898397,0.2845679239366445,0.22854870278692815,0.0,0.2596407146067565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23200836311442594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538408292573019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142030382157604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6167741526397339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381276324233296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rogertaylorkillme,2019/04/04,"Having bad thoughts. I’ve never had suicidal thoughts before. Of course I’ve thought, “I don’t want to be here anymore,” “I’m so over this,” but never anything how I’m feeling now. I’ve been having a panic attack for almost 24 hours now. I have diagnosed general anxiety. But I’ve only been to two therapy sessions. I feel like something terrible is going to happen. I know I’m going to be okay, but I’m so scared. And what’s worse is I know I have nothing to be scared of. ",0.3879251700680264,2.7157027244897947,3.0072448979591826,88.04787414965988,88.08163265306123,5.715646258503401,23.472789115646247,7.1686216300943375,1.1911809523809525,369,15,74,6,12,128,59,98,0.285,0.617,0.098,-0.9767,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,1,3,1,1,13,1,0,1,2,17,28,7,1,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,6,2,6,2,9,19,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,6,44,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328657566660632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238430249786787,0.0,0.17162107856495767,0.0,0.0,0.14240704688545394,0.0,0.0,0.1968716268903217,0.0,0.0,0.1444911874241592,0.0,0.0,0.14725450184885655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17564413219188438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17500057658815207,0.12362837979329043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19669887346727505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302930765049136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042135638844294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19020970148403624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454446355479771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669367336959845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660480564243184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161384020613326,0.0,0.203039229977312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465104722852215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322388029345836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929079503607515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19790003789398808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4121518617632926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16904665366006666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207055026356916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635476713323398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tovanaimao,2019/04/04,"Social Situations When I'm in a social situation such as school, I feel drained and depressed, but when all alone I feel ecstatic and energized. It's lead to me becoming severely antisocial. What could it be?",4.1431578947368415,7.079876210526319,6.1255263157894735,68.06618421052633,76.36842105263158,11.168421052631581,33.1842105263158,10.686352973137794,4.940242105263158,168,9,28,7,4,58,31,38,0.225,0.583,0.192,0.128,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,5,6,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,1,3,3,1,4,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,19,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572796076804062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743512096974328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19833653172674867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21395663614379046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25120884235893104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514059059164577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806345172704657,0.0,0.0,0.5584503253451819,0.0,0.5064488968012999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaysalad421,2019/04/04,"Need advice on dating a girl with ptsd 

Without getting too into her past experiences, she was emotionally abused and made to do sexual favors, and then stalked by the human garbage. This happened about 4-5 years ago and she sill has trust issues and emotional issues because of it. I am new to relationships, I've only had one long term relationship before this for two years and it ended abruptly and suddenly. Because of that I also am insecure with relationships and I was not sure if she actually liked me for a while. She does but she has a hard time showing it, and I've accepted that because I really like her. She has a hard time expressing herself to me which is fine but a little frustrating because I don't have much of a filter and I say what I feel to her.

She refuses to get help. She won't see a therapist and she won't take medication because she doesn't want to depend on it her whole life. She saw a therapist initially but it made the anxiety and depression worse leading to a suicide attempt, so she won't try again. I keep telling her she needs to talk to someone if not me, or try meds but she won't budge. 

Also, occasionally she will get very defensive with me about seemingly very random things, which does tend to lead to fights because it makes me upset and then she gets upset because of that. What should I do when this happens? She also never apologizes for doing it, which is also a little frustrating because it makes me feel bad, like I did something to upset her(enter, insecurity). 

 All of this being said, I have a few questions.

How do I help her get help? What can I do?

Will she ever open up to me? I see glimpses of her true self every now and then but I want to know everything about her, and it's frustrating that I can't.

If anyone would like to share experiences of dating someone with ptsd I'd love to hear them. Or if you suffer from ptsd I'd love to hear firsthand about these questions or the troubles we are having. I really want to make this work and I do really like her. Besides all of this, she really Is my dream girl and I find her incredibly attractive.

Ps. Please excuse or point out any blatant typos or errors, I'm on mobile. ",3.7992503419972654,5.461185083720932,5.1488645690834485,80.67358413132695,72.58139534883722,8.314637482900137,27.065663474692197,8.925248442259385,2.1599370725034204,1726,62,332,35,34,576,204,430,0.154,0.7040000000000001,0.142,-0.6867,1,0,1,0,2,1,42.0,1,1,1,4,15,29,5,5,14,0,35,4,0,9,7,76,68,41,1,11,17,0,4,5,0,8,2,4,0,4,27,24,0,3,8,2,0,2,11,14,0,2,8,11,60,15,46,51,6,35,0,2,3,2,59,10,0,14,28,237,87,3,0.0,0.08625527855847455,0.07104162549546164,0.0,0.0,0.07113864354712235,0.06453219618497598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328703288085373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04950602744709928,0.0,0.05569127317344722,0.0,0.0,0.050902970479777314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060784383330676324,0.3550222712278197,0.0,0.06194685120327342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627019393487885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741433418336015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377885129647538,0.06447858100872902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585114406987103,0.06133655879619593,0.0,0.06542732603494995,0.14242338927083587,0.0,0.0,0.07361903739635985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653725080851385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017317494095665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875237947556914,0.0,0.13042776570145265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410022736198704,0.0,0.146387529594518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519671323456986,0.0,0.0647073719841308,0.0,0.0,0.04000859711353587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051420305846519763,0.1778303290606763,0.1459280681138743,0.0,0.06442509881776022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314084397695918,0.13776893537371698,0.1457823149059363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086362239259211,0.07333764632303216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351586951879664,0.10795953240697616,0.056147316093349636,0.07031002759766329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04933069676844544,0.055367155999815364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949517916292253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991178156490225,0.06881887911733736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552954942202317,0.0,0.16310377704107878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865484094265278,0.0,0.0,0.23447764487174855,0.0,0.0,0.06924881503728529,0.0578929335574946,0.0,0.0,0.11602325001462273,0.06627375801100355,0.07594555765674219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336523886955113,0.05604446577621328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963062973982772,0.0,0.0686124884803501,0.0,0.0547360214131357,0.05851332808745691,0.06362980602386817,0.0,0.0,0.1690512206945006,0.04836462700792543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489972662791558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885190613953426,0.0,0.07111434807908225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013411043348625,0.1288167582659747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812778302161243,0.0,0.07017593734833028,0.0,0.05299876498579188,0.0,0.07418871668727328,0.051714541373403804,0.0,0.0,0.09376073811973552
mentalhealth,rachelstallen,2019/04/04,"i feel alone and like everyone else is a part of a simulation i’m completely trapped and i don’t know what to do so any help would be really appreciated. for about a month now i’ve experiences dissociation due to severe anxiety and depression surrounding existentialism/life/reality/etc. i’d face it pretty bad in anxiety attacks by just like looking at the sky or seeing a post about space, but it’s stayed pretty consistent all the time. this feeling of dissociation always makes me feel lonely even when i’m around people. i sometimes feel like i’m the only one and i know it’s narcissistic but this thought always spirals in my head and causes a wave of anxiety/sadness. the worst part is i can never disprove or prove it, for all i know people are just my imagination or some sort of simulated reality and that frightens me because nothing would really matter. the only comfort of the world is the thought of not being alone but i just feel so alone. i really don’t understand why people don’t talk about this; i feel like no one really understands what i’m going through. nothing feels real and i feel like i’m losing contact and passion for everything. someone please help.",4.271607142857143,6.6518386607142865,5.8985357142857175,72.72146428571429,73.10714285714286,9.122857142857145,29.503571428571423,9.642632912329526,3.223488214285714,956,41,164,26,20,325,121,224,0.165,0.6709999999999999,0.165,0.4692,0,6,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,12,13,1,0,12,0,13,3,2,2,4,47,37,17,0,2,10,0,8,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,9,0,0,17,0,0,1,6,6,0,2,2,10,14,7,20,31,6,17,0,3,2,1,4,8,0,5,11,102,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29669014485082257,0.0,0.0,0.15890724179074714,0.0,0.0,0.06493507806365614,0.0,0.14609603547149838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500451703466465,0.0,0.10863132426883948,0.0,0.0,0.07972844682087163,0.05820856591944582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809242445483576,0.0,0.0,0.10011729520565232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224362842902233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976792658265057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649430148303504,0.06306888811678077,0.0,0.0,0.09124282495834078,0.08581840924553304,0.09340553440967016,0.0,0.0,0.3862525988708836,0.20464982424772749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054268000535300655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979981814161094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800711552309876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743303456700866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744596055033451,0.2332529369677243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018582583386205,0.10682658729965247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373894578684038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621756791449902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364619101143538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324652004516392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941020763649444,0.1452457723800376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068082817255777,0.0,0.19859795721678208,0.0,0.0,0.10481709080106794,0.0,0.0,0.09145105747224523,0.19429114032102854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868618812649396,0.2446880946306316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609153052069483,0.0,0.0,0.1078742000189186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090662722732023,0.0,0.094440020741617,0.0,0.0,0.10177744592862903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674959440410459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161352688015733,0.0556797895171226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19881263980833272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616301954605463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566379506804532,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EastsideGorilla,2019/04/04,"I think I need to check myself in to a mental hospital for a few days. My life is really falling apart. I've been trying very hard to fake it for the past couple months, but I just keep hitting roadblock after roadblock.

I haven't been working since January because of my health issue, I'm two months behind on rent and now facing eviction, I despise the new job I started last week, and am probably going to be fired because I had to call out today due to whatever virus I currently have. I'm unhappy at home. I've been waking up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. The only thing keeping me going right now is my daughter, but I'm failing her. I have a psychiatrist that hasn't returned any of my calls, and I'm pretty sure I don't have health insurance anymore, due to not having money to pay it. Every night before falling asleep, I wonder if my daughter would remember me if I died today, which is a scary fucking thought, because she wouldn't, and that would make it easier for her.

Yeah, after actually typing all that out, I really think I need to go. ",6.937029449423817,5.997383863849766,7.7505505761843825,73.98372599231755,64.82159624413146,10.186769099445156,33.917626973965,9.339509955726095,3.0363089201877926,845,31,156,13,11,285,126,213,0.205,0.735,0.06,-0.9859,5,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,3,7,3,1,9,1,19,7,3,1,2,28,38,8,1,7,6,2,2,0,0,3,3,0,2,0,8,7,0,2,5,0,4,5,5,6,0,1,5,2,25,1,26,28,2,35,0,1,0,1,7,10,1,3,20,102,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.12005245184216072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365968450946057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200550479195997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399561313727374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22498056855164686,0.0,0.10468329404047164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512399526620377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361223262406241,0.0,0.07933949242420689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767818542426154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365196769765044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373254441128045,0.0,0.0,0.209749981325588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020421444153583,0.0,0.0,0.2615348480126443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340184283415118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840378236199512,0.12208109064054914,0.21869653473663564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002799559387437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689460226023189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08211863686781623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397799063425265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963911610163808,0.0,0.0,0.18243961163330466,0.0,0.11881613270136525,0.0,0.2308970227986249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356434038421406,0.0,0.14434068328370733,0.0,0.0,0.11743912940522552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515835806269754,0.13263932534336775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762303989187726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393607870343706,0.10506075114067956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176568506987413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707613135596025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594748024993108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173084461734277,0.1576560137532995,0.0,0.09766631691523077,0.0,0.0,0.2332223531681893,0.0,0.0,0.08352436771087364,0.0,0.12017534492642028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150664773526524,0.0,0.0,0.09868142457187218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334129180050012,0.08956202278278723,0.0,0.0,0.17478365520131864,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wtfyuh,2019/04/04,"Depressive episode hit very oddly Yesterday afternoon at around 2:30 i felt the episode hit. It was very weird bc i knew i was going to feel like shit when usually it just happens and it takes me a few hours or days to realize what’s happening, but i felt it before it fully hit me. 

This one also felt very different. I feel like im going insane. I feel like im seeing the world through a pale yellow lense in the way that i interpret things (not literally seeing yellow). Also, the best way i know to describe it is that my mind feels crisp. 

Has anyone experienced this before or any advice? I feel so out of control",2.343536585365854,4.593017764227644,4.044898373983742,84.3190548780488,78.67479674796748,7.352032520325205,23.258130081300806,8.344100000000001,1.573515447154472,487,16,95,10,12,163,78,123,0.07400000000000001,0.813,0.113,0.7847,1,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,6,7,1,0,6,0,4,1,1,1,0,22,24,8,0,0,5,0,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,1,12,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,6,13,12,4,9,15,2,15,0,1,4,0,0,5,1,2,9,56,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256424253866369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20564345518274774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743570371271969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990293252115729,0.0,0.0,0.1144593952501255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21881644749351475,0.0,0.13493198481962287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442082814851842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292051772602664,0.0,0.11074183233489934,0.0,0.0,0.13433396195743408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250580117886692,0.2755629458124804,0.3703577379893042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14614476358170406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227397662156654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662090229411502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27776706333115664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066169562723952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884463864061764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298245349404916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712604119158714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20491594731380045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198083464796634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667272446382558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541980472498906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160767482691713,0.3182645940500196,0.0,0.2041143885877463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pichikuin,2019/04/04,"To those who have Trypophobia, how do you react when you see a triggering image? I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but I can’t seem to find any safe place to talk about it. I have trypophobia, and have had it since I was a young kid. When I see a cluster of holes, I get the intense “idea” that it might appear on my skin. The only way to get rid of this feeling is to compulsively rub and scratch at my skin until the “idea” fades. Does anyone else react like this? I can’t research anything to do with trypophobia because it always involves lots of images, some of which can send me into scratching fits for hours. Even writing about it makes me rub at my face. Is my level of phobia normal? Any help would be appreciated. Also, I get that you might think sending me pictures is funny, but I will not be clicking any links or checking any messages. Thanks, and sorry if that means you can’t send me helpful articles.",4.174125874125873,5.127198358288774,4.8488770053475925,85.91910736322502,70.76470588235293,7.251172357054711,26.684080625257092,7.321109707123232,1.2441718634306866,731,23,149,7,13,235,112,187,0.032,0.813,0.155,0.9779,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,4,0,0,7,4,0,0,7,0,21,3,3,5,1,35,35,13,0,4,7,0,7,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,15,5,0,1,8,0,1,4,5,0,0,0,2,10,20,4,21,27,2,20,0,0,3,0,16,9,0,9,7,101,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114869228803171,0.11952037455023305,0.0,0.0,0.390721770217962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004367536683486,0.1471766321117074,0.1182038645970814,0.0,0.13428444571780715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756189488060441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257007398151234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999317784155293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487317311958154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262893554725497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312847837019406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251386449063219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255835316256265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145692488935466,0.0,0.0,0.3243052043824352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017547615113817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211798760281975,0.0,0.0,0.0958811264739194,0.0,0.0,0.15646657717245796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047596703258165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073715896893824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924504711723476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300147429411982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266817316730687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22892570849375826,0.130764885532001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882087785499712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607937417232103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537943933568794,0.0,0.0,0.11545276560569165,0.0,0.13224484243228293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203901069611163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401511603600112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203806583459922,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QuitePunderful,2019/04/04,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I really need help I am so confused at what’s wrong with me, ive been what I presumed to be really bad depression for like two months now but along with it I’ve started being extremely paranoid and seeing shit, thinking nothing is real and that I should be dead and nothing should be real, I’ve also been forgetting simple things like left and right and what comes after certain numbers and I’ve been feeling not real and like everything’s a dream. I’m wondering if anyone can give me suggestions as to what might be wrong because I have no idea and my therapist just quit so I can’t talk to her.",6.333406593406592,5.673142538461544,6.9020879120879135,78.65576923076925,65.92307692307692,10.197802197802199,32.41758241758242,9.606745405546679,2.825065934065935,510,18,101,9,7,168,81,130,0.219,0.6609999999999999,0.119,-0.9467,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,1,1,1,0,18,1,1,0,1,34,28,15,1,4,4,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,14,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,7,0,1,3,2,13,4,11,17,0,8,0,1,1,0,5,3,1,4,7,69,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298084898511815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878563490839727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179621511915846,0.08612243091931739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216994389914034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168348585901598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697254957427226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143496029798166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552779071886428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469640584407744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948691265353182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764330117483158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15350016063262975,0.0,0.0,0.2070655028182352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987480393393646,0.0,0.0,0.11276763348952333,0.0,0.0,0.10475666599333093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711222225545802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026771823620735,0.0,0.48241965323943303,0.1810140242569181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065158347709945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125811549778181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14502097073831605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999807746556874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135547927997477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403592964167313,0.09385955949238413,0.0905259456909491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380091566341854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321116248302988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463399567869091,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ieatplatesyay,2019/04/04,"does this sound concerning or familiar at all? for a while ive been feeling a certain way but i dont know what to do. im a minor so concerning or not ill mention it to my parents soon enough but for now if it sounds like anything i wanna research it.

basically all my memories feel distant. i can remember, say, the random thing my mum told me as a kid to make me not do something, but that first paragraph i typed feels so distant like i did it long ago. my head feels foggy, almost as if im kinda on another planet and i have to shake it to get back to earth and remind myself im still on the ground. my hands are very strange looking. like, i know theyre there but i dont know how theyre there or how theyre moving the way i want them to, it just doesnt make sense and i dont believe it in a way. everything feels out of place in a ""how the hell am i here"" way and i sometimes lose track of what im saying mid sentence and start babbling random crud. i zone out to stare at walls and just think and lately have stopped showing people how i feel and instead i purposefully change my expression to make myself feel ""numb"" so i don't get upset and kinda get away from my feelings until im alone i guess. i just constantly feel stunned and spaced out if that makes sense.

my parents would be pissed if i did drugs so i steer clear from those, so its not a drug thing",2.873063107595982,3.7986002871972353,4.067800296589224,90.40991926182241,73.80968858131487,7.027253254242876,25.180589883012036,7.2636822038024595,0.9166133135607182,1069,33,241,11,21,350,149,289,0.095,0.815,0.09,-0.6654,2,1,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,20,10,2,2,11,0,18,7,3,8,4,66,43,34,0,7,17,3,10,3,0,1,4,4,0,1,16,13,0,1,14,1,0,2,8,6,0,1,4,16,34,4,29,37,3,34,1,1,2,0,10,15,2,13,16,156,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746579945923794,0.0,0.08750827771486025,0.09050949442461724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916358421780331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191437282124627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210560922630382,0.06719737457788619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984583972504648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244683829945197,0.0,0.0,0.09443734575226613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647541726139519,0.0,0.3072606420072844,0.0,0.2026888852405307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902970411354458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854033207314899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976822525831419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433373320634137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697271659816088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626973520501407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896871636127019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719799895234385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408147299490998,0.0,0.0985795193576808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808275022251772,0.0,0.0,0.07733723753725459,0.07338543610768483,0.09776685112807153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333335242217371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288154477309442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940720985005694,0.0,0.0,0.06058509530369011,0.0,0.09130375818780516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989956263807299,0.0,0.0,0.13899177918001718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727695016260787,0.08643076299422038,0.0,0.06185496185715433,0.0,0.06978962028147882,0.07306179958662136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611582181326904,0.055995865717763306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350471460053664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210575075097964,0.05154477791838714,0.27746387446195536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062079218250613986,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Volcon246,2019/04/04,"Going through the motions. Hey guys I'm a 20 year old guy with a pretty good life. I live with my loving supportive family, I have a good job and i have a few very good friends but I feel so alone and empty. Some days i have trouble getting myself to just wake up and go to work because i dont see any point. My life seems pointless. It sounds cliche but I feel like if I died tomorrow no one would really miss me, sure my friends and family would be sad but in a year or so they would move on and in the end the world would carry on just fine without me. Nothing really interest me any more and if something does it seems too difficult to do/achieve so I just forget about it and move on. I dont try to meet new people any more because just about every deep emotional connection I have had in the past ends in pain. So I wake up, go to work, come home and do it all over again. I guess I just feel like I'm stuck and I cant muster up the drive to try and fix anything in my life for fear of failure. I just dont know what to do any more.

If you have read this far I appreciate you letting me rant 😊, I know this was kinda long. Just wondering if any one else has been where I am or if any one has any tips for me. Thanks.",1.1269073010664457,2.5990139433962303,2.796308449548813,95.5359064807219,79.37735849056604,6.420016406890893,20.57834290401969,7.255503002510835,0.2518498769483184,945,24,231,12,23,312,137,265,0.17600000000000002,0.6890000000000001,0.135,-0.9518,1,1,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,1,2,16,19,0,1,10,0,23,7,2,0,2,49,45,24,1,9,18,0,3,2,2,4,4,1,1,2,7,13,0,0,8,1,0,8,6,6,0,3,4,5,32,13,28,35,6,36,0,2,1,1,10,17,0,13,13,144,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915134640433891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4206109125226925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271207748112259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772587354321786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611361079293366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056984362135553676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170288002506366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773237149565866,0.0,0.3106689070913036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381275793445206,0.09939218608905716,0.15652001639153906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444642110595995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659434463931028,0.09942864422435746,0.13403117081369573,0.12624763348440146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653216850340982,0.0,0.04616402531401845,0.0,0.15064967683277194,0.22233446718637456,0.0,0.0,0.09733759985244668,0.1749789625024763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863146316411849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768285334835185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711979044894543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09035324934896274,0.18723210843145704,0.08633566553123033,0.0,0.0780227758617148,0.07819509490769673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974761085366708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18782365235652365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533784785513494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478301747262837,0.0,0.09271809711097133,0.0,0.17962340391201767,0.0,0.094020398638763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434883655582473,0.06125713082241643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835279864955058,0.0,0.0,0.0898930530334477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088383092502399,0.0,0.1132103081537372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704108275569445,0.1608777601480849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802321456764379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002689517823261,0.08327748264307197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134926266744437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998016804371177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290557825585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517509762323462,0.09582176291864417,0.12865307261002618,0.0,0.0,0.2510713088537195,0.0,0.0,0.11380083151486432
mentalhealth,pianobear82,2019/04/04,"How do I know if Zoloft is working for my husband? -and other questions about a spouses' mental illness My husband has been on Zoloft for nearly four months, after his anxiety and on-and-off depression came to a head. He is up to 125mg a day, and I don't see it making a difference. He still gets overwhelmed very easily, and has had a few panic attacks in the past month. As far as I know, he had had one panic attack before starting medication.

​

We're at the point where I cannot say anything remotely triggering, which is most things. He has asked me to refrain from any sort of conflict, and in his delicate state, that is very challenging, since his definition of conflict is quite broad.

​

He is working weekly with a psychiatrist, whose opinion I'm not sure I entirely trust. This doctor told my husband that he suspects that I myself am dealing with depression, and that I should get a psychiatric evaluation. Being pre-diagnosed from second-hand stories, from someone I've never met, doesn't give me great confidence in this man.

​

I'd like my husband to get a second opinion regarding his progress, but am nervous to even bring it up to him. Thoughts?",7.263866943866942,7.628132081081084,7.2285585585585626,73.65327442827444,63.77477477477477,10.074012474012477,37.34719334719336,9.851270322608157,3.792018295218295,950,45,162,18,13,304,140,222,0.14,0.807,0.053,-0.9413,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,5,5,13,2,4,10,0,21,6,1,3,2,30,37,11,0,2,3,5,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,1,12,9,0,3,5,0,0,2,5,8,0,3,8,2,19,5,27,27,2,24,0,3,1,0,25,12,0,6,10,108,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3425589300819261,0.3841686714322814,0.07166648488779534,0.0,0.08062044145092871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672417174093061,0.0,0.09852222152180233,0.23978488641908116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967621327220889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053416654342515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796562248787565,0.10864893135869998,0.1815386053173898,0.1069651552970418,0.0,0.11010654052915916,0.0,0.10786762516641517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960683889038248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518040736595638,0.10109640570847743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618907103043405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815703002010983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11583541109142716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148655728370455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034635718029975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616588712419546,0.10620488045474448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682371175029403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812806235481955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141267067405058,0.0,0.0,0.2472968780100068,0.0,0.0,0.10060341061653978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962437736552128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805708289710205,0.11209159484646024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380763438031481,0.0,0.0,0.08397945586212717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717686390906161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929370304021415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459316023602637,0.0,0.08416185496144908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993255997776319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001415765527026,0.0,0.0,0.08366516878820522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007013886945115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390992276829606,0.0,0.0,0.08453475367799701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344536355637728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841686714322814,0.0
mentalhealth,ShellyT98,2019/04/04,"I just needed to say what I feel I'm in a pretty bad situation. 
I'm in love with my best friend (she knows it), but she is not with me. Ok fine.
In the past 6 month she did almost everything possible to make me feel calm for everything about her 'cause she knows I have very rough panic attacks for everything. But now, I just want for her to be free from my anxiety. She is not living her life, just for me.
So yesterday we discussed and I said that from now on she'll never see my saddness or fear. I'll keep everything to me, just to let her live.
And so she did. As of now she is with one of our friends...and he...he has been (last year) the main reason of my mental problems.
So now I'm...I don't know. It's hard. I'mnot in a good place in my head. And keeping everything to myself is maybe too hard. I'm on the verge of a panic attack again. But I don't want her to know this.
...so I decided to come here. I just wanted to tell my story. I just want to talk. I just want to be free.
Thank you",-0.791153846153847,1.2172426481481509,1.5805555555555555,98.52769230769232,90.11111111111113,5.174928774928778,15.715099715099713,6.67199483983844,-0.4754908831908833,756,16,188,10,26,255,112,216,0.13699999999999998,0.698,0.165,-0.0963,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,2,1,0,1,19,17,2,3,6,1,15,3,1,3,1,42,38,12,0,7,13,0,5,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,5,8,0,2,8,0,2,1,5,7,0,1,4,8,37,12,33,30,2,21,0,0,1,1,23,9,0,2,11,126,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891581368615233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320750739266647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474794524848828,0.0,0.0,0.09081704793485254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414569665863805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173508037571134,0.0,0.09369432205908618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.48876999972512203,0.0,0.0,0.1223946586793663,0.1099931147079472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403417492559379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122975052853266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948701952819951,0.0,0.11162773005212152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335665449633369,0.0,0.0,0.2391050123581643,0.0886607408604133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122303035415282,0.07682631829105709,0.0,0.0,0.19208893162141466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816770294991503,0.0,0.07260373336816453,0.0,0.10927244982603243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961293707321436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681787736716459,0.0,0.0,0.08065037014762727,0.08388887437292877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370426427964777,0.0,0.0,0.25523249978388635,0.0,0.0,0.10383171912669756,0.0,0.0,0.1136397992888366,0.0,0.0,0.12261999745516745,0.0,0.11065653795749628,0.0,0.10407664317091493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11183200246810364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346363013111284,0.08649697560272543,0.0,0.0,0.08667431074206254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226020811524035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742389789228124,0.0950683518876576,0.10013930407753492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974529861145007,0.3207720215078465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004326589860982
mentalhealth,idontknow2228,2019/04/04,It's feel like I've been deteriorating for the last 3 years. Ever since I was  15 it's seems like my mental health has just been going downhill. I know I don't act or think the way a normal person does but I don't want to go to a psychiatrist or talk to my parents about it yet. I was hoping one of you could tell me if you think I have a mental illness. I've started to get angry out of the blue for no reason at all. the feeling just gets really strong and I'll tell my parents to fuck off and to leave me alone when we're talking about something you shouldn't be remotely mad and irritated about.i don't ever mean it and always regret it later. Other times I love them and and other to help around the house. I also get depressed for days at a time and then I'll get happy for days at a time. At school I've started to get really paranoid and think people are hearing my thoughts. I get extremely uncomfortable when people look at me in the eyes. I also change my opinions of things weekly. Like politics and what career I want to have. I've had a couple occasions in the last 4 months where I hear voices especially screaming but I don't think it's enough to qualify for schizophrenia.  A lot of times I see myself differently than I actually am. One time I thought that I was an emo and I thought everyone knew I was an emo but I was just to oblivious to know I was an emo.  It's weird because I couldn't be farther from an emo. I feel empty and bored most of the time and nothing that use to entertain me entertains me anymore except for lying in bed and listening to music. Thanks for taking time out of your day and reading it.,3.3146902654867247,4.443931525073751,4.874801179941002,84.26452035398232,72.98230088495575,7.66588790560472,25.65439528023599,8.109356740369918,1.4409635634218287,1293,41,270,19,25,436,169,339,0.156,0.716,0.128,-0.7878,3,1,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,1,1,14,17,2,0,19,0,23,5,1,2,3,58,61,25,0,9,10,2,3,3,0,1,2,5,1,1,14,17,0,0,16,3,0,3,7,7,0,2,13,12,39,10,44,43,4,42,0,2,4,2,17,14,1,8,27,178,53,4,0.0,0.0,0.08792413258481589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331592808538526,0.0,0.1441051040318574,0.07497001672223481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935451142230175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020767325313148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492382991713675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531334330519196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071937133681845,0.09969340297913892,0.0,0.17432020614513116,0.0,0.07760258285447245,0.0,0.0,0.09413481963568783,0.0,0.0,0.07884669539733058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309688724353926,0.0,0.0,0.16300034470441646,0.0,0.08609395060696423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667107050958954,0.06436711368282824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329555257374663,0.2824396766988768,0.0,0.1024112648804565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959126123358623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577157442168048,0.2030974101049463,0.0,0.060391807718674737,0.0,0.0,0.08948915113312067,0.0,0.10396274681289848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903267760582794,0.1468862652326303,0.0,0.09540238024957463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205422021992888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566090300109768,0.0,0.0,0.07659938823920971,0.08131833274143964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814478871265506,0.0,0.0,0.1815982450813543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191657569140159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827839772964087,0.08645291754650047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210753042094255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000897044247911,0.0,0.0,0.12492732242834576,0.07867142384271911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012390023841108,0.0,0.115440116759099,0.0926373105876022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911855224292927,0.07179765064538549,0.08202321731258433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453125237652115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936301084309715,0.0,0.0,0.12754580520154912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774362453462315,0.14483715936564698,0.15750190010914386,0.08295153094931652,0.0,0.0,0.059858116249488974,0.2309285323762227,0.0,0.21458685930418506,0.3677642746678875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781705505653311,0.0,0.0,0.10628606026333376,0.07151680362425605,0.07227239864391292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05802113558209945
mentalhealth,Iseekredemption,2019/04/04,"Tired of the voice in my head-Serious help Please, im writing this not because im a 14 yo edgy depressed teen. Im just writting this because I'm 20 and I feel like I dont want to be with me for the rest of my life. 

Been having that stupid voice that keeps telling me... well 'bad things' since a child, and seriously, it's slowly killing me

Things like

""Do the bad thing"". Until i have done that bad thing, then it's like ""you are a horrible person bad person."" I didn't even wanted to do that bad thing. 

""Everyone secretly hates you"" even if I know they don't. That makes me feel like everyone actually hates me and so my behaviour towards them changes. But not just that. ""You wont be able to be happy with anyone because you are that bad person"" even if I try not to be so. ""Nobody will ever like you"", even if they say they actually like me... And even if so, ""all you are going to do is hurt her/him, everything is going to be bad at ALL moments"" and the most frecuent thing ""**you are going to start doing bad things until they start to hate you**""

It also tells me that most of the things I do, even writing this post looking for help is a bad idea.

For example, I once tried writing something, but every fu.. word it kept telling me that ""it's not a good idea"" ""you are shaming yourself"" or  even ""your friends will know and make fun of you for this piece of"". The same for other things like going to the gym, or even hanging out with non-close friends.  

And if I, for any reason do something bad to anyone, I'll die from remorse. 

Not even gonna talk about envy.

Have you ever seen Bojack Horseman? If so go watch 4x06. Well, I feel exactly the same. With every fuc\*ing thing

I just feel like I don't even want to be with myself, because every.fucking.thing I do there's this voice saying that im doing wrong. And I feel like im trapped with myself. And trust me, sucks. A lot. 

I feel so bad that I dont even want to look for profesional help. As I said, even writing this is making me feel, somehow, bad.

Please, anyone... anyone knows how can I rid off that voice? I'll do whatever it takes. Seriously. 

Just please tell me I am not doomed to be like this for the rest of my life. 

As a final remark, my life doesn't suck so much, but I feel like it could be different more I don't know, normal. 

Sorry for my bad english, and please, help me..",1.6518966168966145,3.4840434615384623,2.9266315441315456,93.55084695709697,79.04158004158003,5.786448686448686,20.911028161028163,6.680037744263671,0.18446320166320213,1799,48,404,17,44,581,189,481,0.171,0.68,0.15,-0.8574,1,1,2,0,0,0,97.0,0,12,5,0,31,46,7,1,16,0,44,4,0,5,5,82,84,34,2,12,21,0,8,11,2,4,4,7,0,4,37,17,0,2,16,1,0,6,14,27,2,0,6,19,58,19,45,65,12,21,1,3,4,0,40,5,2,12,20,270,95,0,0.04582792280423935,0.0,0.08944288379919475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036648573309377735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031164559013317605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817579670801355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4974372170030315,0.11174510552825342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04847986576117379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036589867307167324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039471522758978236,0.0,0.04756214857489382,0.04788042535427313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046897876143686734,0.10741996843601828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632269295851966,0.08290795974905969,0.07722400300934976,0.0875810883038743,0.04118718201492942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18537579795867248,0.1636973860410027,0.0,0.0502022493808745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081307895495519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302253231727234,0.0384382873571255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048784675991874665,0.0,0.13573675795506945,0.04703267015319868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286996257811413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04905973919758231,0.1034682933041012,0.24751010369807486,0.0,0.0,0.040733963454268184,0.050701806611240435,0.0,0.10074331147795572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710885150797538,0.2462812904679245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769678261965363,0.0,0.0,0.03896126114613625,0.0,0.0,0.09177148299444712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033688796289496364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490163415882791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048805242124914584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004552358182798,0.0,0.2012211894884864,0.0,0.0,0.043890482038539895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711873727252288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359284907555725,0.07288840722413208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03790933131635397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056114784887661,0.0,0.05130060759204424,0.0648744792717296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03445689459342458,0.03683474841918493,0.16022249791347234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044603556922849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05267245570368797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06222830272043886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812198492191108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824096126265693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501056393985891,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mostMANICaboutMUSIC,2019/04/04,"Bell let's talk day This has been on my mind for awhile but how do other people react when its 'bell lets talk day' and you see your friends posting about it but when I did need to talk those same people that made the post said they didnt want to talk about it because I'm being to depressing... 
This does not apply to everyone ofcourse and I'm trying to tell myself that those friends just weren't in a good spot them self when I needed them... but I can help but feel slightly annoyed when people post on Facebook that they are avalible to talk when it's a social media thing but not when I could use friend. 

Ofcorse I'm not mad at any of these people... it's just a little hurtful. ",2.4498936170212784,4.1580068439716324,3.1357624113475175,93.50875,76.30496453900709,5.5510638297872354,20.96985815602837,5.985473137389443,0.006904964539007352,539,13,116,3,12,169,88,141,0.078,0.79,0.132,0.8758,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,4,0,11,8,2,0,4,0,12,0,0,4,0,23,23,14,0,4,10,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,15,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,6,3,12,4,14,13,1,16,0,2,1,0,19,5,0,0,8,77,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685112323653367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778543659735925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197067358935508,0.0,0.0,0.1647322500547941,0.0,0.11000143098475122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176495682353822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203791958389365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457694566887401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960187296945399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712195320422767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560520828627677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672240486960227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26119611604338744,0.0,0.0,0.1280047832657394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084777754683113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289565498356253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939929412951176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35416821787960473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669492961037376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214869719695029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177295679895626,0.0,0.13323543268264132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019017398308547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5132656093375572,0.11162923808421056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484870221192509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671064439037307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110305444694931,0.0,0.0,0.07533008756050959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pastordan23,2019/04/04,"Confronting a loved one with possible schizophrenia  So a relative of mine recently was released from the incarceration  and when she came to talk to me I noticed symptoms that seemed to be in-line with a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia. Obviously I’m a clergy person, and not any sort of psychologist or psychiatrist. There were times of her speaking to me as another person,  but she would sometimes talk to me as another person, had delusions of religious grandeur, and other hallmarks of signs that she is not as mentally healthy as she needs to be. How do I go about confronting her, especially when her mother, her only real close family member, seems to be an enabler who doesn’t want to lose her to inpatient care since she has been incarcerated for so long? Do I have any options, Or do we just have to wait for something bad to happen that causes law enforcement or other authorities to get involved in her care? I really just want her to be safe. Any advice would be helpful",9.287102516881518,8.521384806629833,9.13841620626151,65.36476365868631,60.04972375690608,12.243339472068756,40.000613873542044,11.429527900616536,4.7137103744628615,794,36,132,19,9,259,110,181,0.08,0.787,0.133,0.9113,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,2,9,8,2,0,6,0,19,2,0,2,1,33,33,16,0,5,8,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,3,6,8,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,4,0,1,5,1,21,4,30,21,0,9,0,1,0,1,24,2,0,7,5,100,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820038740057586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885247102295677,0.29659613680025715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808526147451938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175429621043902,0.2883875856817971,0.14528402411304095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332436426521205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388953496879216,0.0,0.08037596727938211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506303068938251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479523501257432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251580459084394,0.0,0.15822013342429395,0.0,0.0,0.12764298262050186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252469805631293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048659944741993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610150640195219,0.0,0.0,0.09583429011580123,0.1075612638491492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704646239445962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15943718487618394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097437558793687,0.09060146906874167,0.0,0.1396416558441412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574988381819716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698950324066992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887706731153016,0.13987447376202325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699633623015115,0.0,0.22734660675465335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246695835863702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668340863078318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20093072613377425,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Anis930,2019/04/04,"A (long) rant about my depression I already posted this on r/depression_help, but I'm scared it won't get any traction, so I'm taking my chances here too. Sorry if this sounds pathetic. 
it's also very long, enen tho I wish poeple could read it entirely, I'd understand if you don't want to. Anyway :
(sorry in advance for bad grammar) 

I don't remember when it started. It was weird, realizing how much I stopped enjoying most things. My favorite video games weren't as exciting anymore. I wasn't as interested in anime and Manga anymore, I didn't feel like consuming it either. My days became boring, each one beginning with the envy of enjoying something that I (used to) love and each of them ending with this overwhelming feeling of regret. I was more angry, I ranted with myself a lot about stupid things, I was crying more, most of the time because of stupid things (albeit that started a chain of thoughts leading to more serious issues and regrets). And mostly, I was so tired man, and it just gets worse and worse. It's to a point where it feels crippling, like I can't do anything anymore that requires a minimum of effort.


I don't understand. Lots of times, I wasn't even sure if I really had something. Maybe I'm just too lazy? Maybe I'm just tired? Is it really depression?
But why? Why would I have these thoughts, when others are having a it so much worse than me? I don't understand.


I feel so overwhelmed by myself. Sometimes I want to confess to someone, to tell them everything I have on my mind, but now I just feel like there is so much that I don't even know where to begin. Nowadays, I can't even make the effort of talking to my friends. I'm scared that I'll lose them. I'm scared I'm not being a good enough friend, I'm scared I'm isolating from them and they will just go, I'm scared that I'm not enjoy their presence enough and I know I will regret just li'e everything else. 
I know I can make them laugh and smile but I feel like I can't even do that properly anymore, like I'm slowly losing this ability, I feel like I'm not as interesting as I used to be, or as I could be, I feel like I'm not as funny, and I feel so much more things that I can't even begin to list. I feel like I'm a shadow of an older self, like my real me died and I am just his shed, slowly crumbling to pieces. My mind feels blank and oversaturated all at once. 
I feel like I'm not even the main character of my life anymore, I'm not even sure if I ever was, I feel like I'm just a background character, I feel like I'm stuck on froze and I can't move an inch. I see all those opportunities of potential happiness go away, slip of my hand, I feel like I'm constantly waisting my time just by being alive, I feel like I'm losing so much time, I feel like I'm watching all the best moments of my life pass me by and I will never get them back. I feel like I can't do anything anymore. I feel like it's out of my reach, like I'll never anyone of importance, like I'll never positively impact people's life like I always dreamed of. 

You know, the internet is a shitty place, not in all of it's aspects, but in a lot of them. When I started using social media outside YouTube, in this case Twitter, I was around 13. I exposed myself to a lot of shit. To a lot of poeple and events I wish I never knew existed, to a lot of disappointments, to a lot of toxicity... Do a lot of you wonder if you're just weak? The internet often gave me that impression. I think I'm weak, I definitely do, but I don't know how much. I don't know if poeple are just agressive pretentious entitled assholes that think their opinions make them somehiw better than everyone or I'm just being too sensitive and i'td just the way poeple state their opinion, I don't know. 

When I was 13, I played so much vidya, sometimes from 8 am to 8 pm non stop. When I discovered that one of my favorite games was hugely hated on the internet, it made me feel miserable, like my taste was inferior, like I was so dumb to like that thing. I spent, no, waisted so much time defending that game online, and it left me with a terrible sour taste in my mouth when playing it afterwards, like the voices of the people criticizing me were echoing in my head, telling me how stupid I was, how wrong I was to like that game. I eventually didn't even finish it. I couldn't play it anymore. 
And it keeps going. It still happens, I still get that hot feeling in my head when someone hates on something I love and I'm passionate about, I feel dumb and I wonder, I wonder if everyone is like me on that regard? Or is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with all of us? 
I'm not even clearly sure about the mental illnesses that I have. 

I feel like I made so many mistakes, so many unachieved things, so many failures in my life,that may not seem much, and I'd agree, but mean so much to me, I feel like I have so many flaws, and those thoughts, sometimes, they're so loud, they're like screams. And my throat is so sore that I can't scream louder than them, so I just want to be deaf. Sometimes I just want to end it all. 



I regret so much things I did, so much things I didn't, 
my mind feels poisoned, to the point where it can physically hurt. I'm slowly heading to become a social failure, with no lover, no friends and no job. My grades are dropping, I don't do any work, sometimes I'm so tired at school that all of my body hurts from it (litteraly, it's a horrible feeling. It's a bit more complex than that too, I can't describe it but I hate it very much. ) everyone keeps mocking me, sometimes for stuff I don't even understand. I'm slowly becoming paranoid of doing anything in public, like I'm always doing something wrong and poeple will laugh at me, it's like I've been put in a game I don't know the rules of. Everyone thinks I'm a drug addict of some sort, even my fucking teachers. Everyone thinks I'm not normal. 

There is so much more I could talk about. My repressed anger, my failed, awkward attempt at love, my feelings of hopelessness, but like I said, there's so much I can't even keep track of it,like my mind is reminding me of all those thoughts one by one. Everyday feels like I'm waking with a new chain that is slowing me down more, with it's own new lock and it's own new key, and I can't even find the key to the first lock yet. 

It's midnight where I live. I have 22 exercises of math that I should've done during the holidays, due for Sunday. I want to do them now so I can have at least 2 days of fun, but I don't feel like it's worth it. I don't feel like anythikg is worth it. 

I know this is a long text and it's very messy, I'm sorry, I'm tired (duh) and in a horrible state whi'e writing this. But I do hope that you would take a bit of your time to read this, I always wanted to talk about this and sharing it with others and I'm finally doing it, so this is very important to me. If you read this fully, I can't stress how much I'm thankful. Really. 

Tl;dr(grossly) : I have a constant feel of emptiness, distress, guilt, frustration and slowness governing my life and I feel like there is no hope for me. 

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mentalhealth,Marionuke,2019/04/04,"Mental health survey Hi! I’m not sure if I’m allowed to do this but I’m  am currently in grade 12 and I have to do a survey. Since I chose to do mental health, I figured this fits with the theme of this subreddit

https://forms.gle/fE9FWisXPdzSAUBd8


(Please serious answers only)",2.10923076923077,4.975895692307695,3.2834615384615375,83.09903846153847,92.07692307692308,5.676923076923077,19.96153846153846,7.1686216300943375,0.9308384615384622,224,7,40,4,8,72,36,52,0.07,0.93,0.0,-0.3011,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,5,2,0,1,1,9,8,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,6,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6152937605601811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.58334776159815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22012192748613216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177034302967577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394166266500695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27278109090459823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,augraak,2019/04/04,"After 6 odd years (maybe more, maybe less) I finally talked to my GP about my mental health. And he said he’ll be sending me a letter in the post about talking with some sort of specialist. Since then I’ve only been able to think about how I’m actually fine and don’t need help for my mental health. I swear I feel slightly better or normal all of a sudden and I need to just stop being lazy and buckle down and sort my shit out. I’m constantly questioning how I think or thought I feel. I’m constantly concerned that I will not be able to articulate my true feelings and thoughts accurately and I may in fact be subconsciously misrepresenting whatever issues I may or may not have. If I do have some mental health problems I’m concerned I may downplay them, if I don’t I’m concerned I may overstate my issues in an attempt to get diagnosis that isn’t there. So I’m here venting as the cats out the bag now and I’ve also told my dad, I’m going to feel like a bit of a prick if it turns out I’m just lazy as fuck and making some shitty excuses for myself.",4.392661448140899,4.780078954337903,5.7052348336594925,82.02051369863015,69.95890410958904,8.631572080887151,27.97162426614481,8.634040054169528,1.8602117416829749,837,27,176,13,14,282,117,219,0.132,0.809,0.059,-0.9259,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,2,12,8,3,0,8,0,17,6,2,3,3,53,43,22,0,7,10,1,4,1,0,7,3,1,0,0,3,13,0,1,9,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,5,5,23,4,25,27,7,19,0,0,0,1,13,7,3,17,10,109,26,0,0.2429799644432577,0.0,0.1185566975076839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715549488951496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744801649634628,0.1326355949564933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26257502134937355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24571594150712886,0.08679246757397792,0.0,0.13308633714037815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231553090040346,0.06347350139670205,0.0,0.06904555663429066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38741450992170456,0.0,0.0,0.08143217418424216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25360795470213604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059353868617449734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08109550651810994,0.0,0.2441060330102108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36729998199188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016656484672536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903438781156052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239860602781663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635382003540574,0.0,0.0,0.11624950540561035,0.0,0.0,0.1360965843768257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115564794018761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470772089254567,0.1004977687365668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015710650985784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529809150202115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15569175011428715,0.0,0.19289895064254287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608888435157608,0.0,0.0,0.13214621393051892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823556534519872
mentalhealth,natday96,2019/04/04,"What to do if Boyfriend is cycling? My boyfriend is diagnosed with Bipolar disorder with psychosis. I love him, but I noticed he goes through this cycle that has gotten worse over lately.  I really don’t know when this started but it for a couple of days, weeks, and at times hours. He’ll be full of love and affection, he’ll shower me with love and affection, buys me gifts, calls me beautiful, and complements me constantly. Then something bad will happen,he’ll come back to me and say something that he’s thought of that he’ll know will upset me. Call me mean names and threaten to leave me. For example, today he asked if I was pregnant. His reasoning: because I gain weight in my lower abdomen,and aplenty in my old pictures he says he can see “something I was hiding” from my eyes. After a while he’ll apologize and the cycle repeats. I’m aware the random thoughts are his psychosis, but what about the rest? What can i do to help him? ",4.368705603788482,6.0473030331491735,4.5770047355958985,85.27493093922655,71.15469613259668,7.60236779794791,30.05564325177585,8.192908349453996,2.136657142857143,743,31,141,11,14,232,109,181,0.117,0.6970000000000001,0.18600000000000005,0.9617,2,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,5,0,14,7,1,3,0,26,32,15,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,6,2,2,1,0,9,11,1,0,6,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,5,5,23,3,20,20,2,21,0,0,2,3,24,5,0,3,15,89,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678990203689725,0.0,0.0,0.11251142144930233,0.12217149349960202,0.0891956098031885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29881915041214296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604214207229672,0.0,0.15812046341440458,0.0,0.0,0.16190083403679115,0.0,0.09436460829231184,0.0,0.0,0.1485122126606325,0.0,0.0,0.16769595288262654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939072200983676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807553706125297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409620410332907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16082782433091627,0.0,0.16505588080477918,0.15493226703007906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961798524243965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938590392253404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16658684243540214,0.1535387356740538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373664969844384,0.15044182863530542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327198457312587,0.0,0.0,0.1165984826879913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379339747029292,0.0,0.0,0.10356639267467836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323242425041433,0.08532065171586374,0.0,0.13869471135545516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736946747356408,0.17817893225091105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911307513304628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,victoria_anni17,2019/04/04,"Lost and don’t know what to do? Help? Hi. I’m not exactly sure how to lay all of this out on the table but here goes nothing:

About 8 years ago I was a 13-14 year old entering high school when my parents started drifting apart. At that time I was with a guy who had mental health issues and would run away and also had to take medicine. Meanwhile my parents ended up becoming separated. I struggled with myself. I couldn’t understand the reason why my parents split and I thought it was my fault. Back then it didn’t help to be in a relationship with someone who couldn’t be there for me emotionally because he had himself to worry about. 
Fast forward 1-2 years later from that time my parents got an official divorce. It left me heartbroken and hopeless. I started to self harm etc. I never really have gotten over my parents divorce... sometimes I still wish they were together. 

Last year my mom started to have health issues (blood clots in her leg then 2 strokes then endocarditis and then was diagnosed with Stage 4 COUP- Cancer of unknown primary). As any typical daughter/son you know if something would happen to your parents you would be lost without them. For the past 8 months I’ve really struggled with myself. I am in a relationship with a guy whom I’ve been with since March of 2018. We’re long distance but he has been there every step of the way to know what I’ve been going through with my mom. But since finding out my moms cancer I get very angry easily. Sometimes to the point where I just yell or breakdown in tears or sometimes smash things or hit things. 

Lately I have been having doubts about certain things in my relationship with my boyfriend. ( Not knowing if I cheated on him last year.. which I haven’t etc.) I don’t know if this is a part of me having a mental health problem because of everything that I’m going through right now  or if it’s just me having doubts for no apparent reason.

Advice please?
Thanks.",3.950526767330132,5.873463452127666,4.4238332189430345,84.94903225806453,72.72340425531915,7.085655456417296,28.086479066575155,7.831003766801068,1.7639050446122169,1542,60,292,21,31,487,202,376,0.166,0.77,0.064,-0.9922,7,0,1,0,2,1,39.0,0,3,2,2,15,14,1,4,13,0,34,9,2,3,5,58,58,25,0,11,16,9,1,0,0,3,7,1,0,3,18,17,0,0,10,0,0,7,11,11,0,0,18,2,40,3,49,31,4,59,0,3,0,0,33,20,0,10,32,195,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905350788291327,0.06264070125274693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05651117411110454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048054962621061625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639256258403396,0.05433740689808803,0.0,0.08615406473346973,0.07804449186563868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172399410412221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948917518763353,0.06258865758405989,0.0,0.15762142218745098,0.0,0.0,0.05953873078193126,0.0,0.06350959406640404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458698597717286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036919806676395946,0.0,0.08032166326764531,0.0,0.05651765505804375,0.0,0.0,0.1399399082745503,0.06248926749053611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253423632729229,0.0,0.0,0.09473118898328273,0.07466197961956847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751284320492095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417955125429204,0.11520362675365073,0.07971376097361729,0.0,0.07677827155233767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253674300273654,0.0,0.0,0.15427947978552978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242840480923907,0.0,0.0,0.24828773549048305,0.05640452720498745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05450158930691868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780545225938979,0.0,0.07415155410420582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4707940444117414,0.07652384923835921,0.06745821487265992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756949757657898,0.0668017377710394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761733906843805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054025645250556,0.1453118048238775,0.0,0.2276049006724869,0.0,0.06034795013403482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715172577547928,0.0,0.0,0.07371952714909799,0.0,0.0,0.116910462209226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059874648081483024,0.054401753622247084,0.2096699566090501,0.0,0.15005221195966126,0.0,0.056433558875166726,0.0,0.0,0.14774984559850107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660139662356282,0.0,0.05313166090421148,0.0,0.0,0.06505929737538227,0.0,0.0,0.14084105287165136,0.0,0.0,0.05610051288404549,0.08241124162108235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356527673084688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058306437459202075,0.0,0.0560909839888329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376462163554261,0.0,0.08126183653292282,0.06811901944213801,0.0,0.0,0.07176424453570555,0.0,0.1505962292361156,0.0,0.0,0.2275313228516299
mentalhealth,lunathehoopfairy,2019/04/04,"Starting ADD Medication for the first time as a 28F Hello hello! I have been seeing a new psychiatrist, and fully trust that he wants to see me get better. We're exploring all of my concerns; I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and traits of borderline personality disorder in the past. He is also helping me evaluate further concerns; depersonalization disorder, dissociation, and PMDD. After seeing him every week for about a month, he has started me on Vyvanse, as he believes I have ADD or ADHD. As mentioned above, I have horrible anxiety and dissociation. I am eager to start feeling better but would like to know, do you have any tips for starting this kind of medication? I have never been prescribed a stimulant before. I have taken anti depressants (sertraline) in the past for about 6 months with the help of previous counselors, and it did help. But I've never taken anything like this. I'm looking for suggestions on things to do that will keep my busy but not overwhelmed (things I can do at home), anything I can do to stay calm while my body adjusts, etc. I hula hoop and do yoga, but don't want to burn myself out by doing it all day. Any help is much appreciated.

​

TL;DR - I'm taking Vyvanse for the first time as an adult and am looking for tips on how to keep busy and healthy.",6.411964285714286,7.4663268979591875,7.239017857142858,70.43566964285716,65.73469387755102,9.880102040816329,33.67984693877551,9.978442167317967,3.5216173469387773,1050,45,177,23,16,350,139,245,0.077,0.773,0.151,0.9694,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,1,0,4,4,11,0,1,10,0,27,4,1,2,4,34,48,20,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,2,3,0,1,2,8,13,0,2,4,1,0,1,4,3,0,2,6,6,19,8,35,40,4,29,0,3,5,0,16,8,0,1,21,124,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785273776743494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850751421018182,0.0,0.11526687828945502,0.12926804588634136,0.14468935880350164,0.0,0.16276673815177775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750897204126293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052483750665732,0.1198581908633874,0.0,0.18817577497557847,0.0,0.11816849662412347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686087949886759,0.0,0.18325654204039424,0.10797738830415006,0.0,0.0,0.24385026250762626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864613593520305,0.0,0.0,0.0896329984557756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379088095885205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098013030964147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055581181045552513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285227461329398,0.0,0.1067116952420775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18911774272835807,0.0,0.11078242942109064,0.0584657925660759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394757008164096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867131404165298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21434111298823771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698291795429973,0.0,0.07820438485758811,0.0,0.16409959722107126,0.10274620420142884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20311088228120186,0.0,0.09289029153737782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435705060903902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25432251156971625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30119620189479984,0.11339105019351264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998743032031938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135343172152012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406657978679572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254959252289433,0.0,0.08533472323521413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557204867761391,0.0,0.12926804588634136,0.0
mentalhealth,Nuggets_R_Uss,2019/04/04,"Help I've been struggling with anxiety and thoughts of self harm alot recently and I've had a few anxiety attacks around my girlfriend but she doesn't understand how i feel and I feel like she blames herself but I really don't know how to explain it to her so she does understand what's going on, does anyone have any advice for how I could help her understand?",4.937083333333334,6.072250763888893,5.431555555555558,81.76899999999998,69.1388888888889,9.648888888888887,31.06666666666667,9.888512548439397,2.986846666666666,293,12,57,7,5,94,49,72,0.16699999999999998,0.716,0.117,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,1,2,0,6,0,0,3,0,20,15,9,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,8,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,2,11,1,7,11,2,4,0,0,0,0,11,2,0,1,2,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18408393278241916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281056789178132,0.0,0.2882222116208147,0.0,0.0,0.13172051825837547,0.0,0.0,0.16769921112794298,0.0,0.2143108156974663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040706306462753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297073230499507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905023944208465,0.13457957012574842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706137975643652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525359009243363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035293833918618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203354101008923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068182337070045,0.0,0.1860037129529167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19652268069388276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969369368742619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955363397782215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5883344324724239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pwomboli,2019/04/04,"What's gonna happen if I ""hold it in"", I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown but I can't. Sorry for the cryptic title, I'll try to be brief.

I hate my job, I hate being a dad (but I love my kid, that I'm sure), my marriage's been terrible since the kid arrived... I don't want to get out of bed, but it's not like I have a choice.

I'll try to describe it, if anything writing about it helps.

\- My job: I work for a small family business selling aircraft parts, my dad is the head of the office. My job title is company director... thing is I don't like my job.

Payment wise I get by, (barely with a family of three), I work harder than anyone and all the responsibilities fall down on me. Now the business is doing great but I have a shit salary, while my dad does great, I don't fault him, he's been at it for 50+ years, but I know the finances so... yeah.

I haven't had vacation since 2012... I work late when I have to and I still just get by... whatever, I hate it, now I would/should just quit but... I have a two year old, so it's not like I'll find a better job, and all my savings evaporated due to the child and some wife's health issues. 

\- Fatherhood... I hate the living shit out of it, activities I don't care for and the crying/shouting... oh my god, the screaming makes me want to take a drill to the side of my head. I hate it so much, thing is I just have to hold it in, I don't want my kid growing without a dad, so I play with her and do dad stuff. I hate doing those things, but I do them... thing is I feel so guilty about playing and doing activities with the kid and hating doing them, I feel like a terrible person for hanging out with my kid and secretly hate doing it.

\- Marriage... It's just so meh... wife is great and all, but with the kid around we don't do anything at all anymore, I hate visiting my parent's (I already have to deal with my dad enough) or in-laws (house is a mess), so we can drop the kid there, but at the expense of visiting. 

\- My health: My back is killing me, but yeah I can't  and I don't want to treat it, like I said all my savings went away because of the kid and the wife's health issues, I pay a ton on insurance and it won't cover all my bills. I have nausea all the time, but I don't even care anymore.

\- how I get away: I smoke a ton, only thing that gives me tranquility, and I play videogames but lately they also get me angry. 

So yeah, I kinda wanted to edit and format this better but I gotta get back to work, 

​

TLDR: I feel like having a mental breakdown, but I can't snap because I have way too many responsibilities. 

​

​",0.10209253321117727,2.06243025765766,2.4087341578867014,94.54765918460836,85.16216216216216,5.132081233776152,18.776149030386318,6.370971007168336,-0.1642765307680567,1983,52,465,19,59,674,213,555,0.168,0.682,0.151,-0.9367,7,0,1,0,0,0,128.0,2,0,3,7,26,41,12,0,34,3,46,8,4,2,8,80,84,44,1,7,24,10,4,7,0,3,3,2,1,10,25,27,0,2,7,3,5,7,16,17,0,2,5,6,79,24,50,74,13,39,0,0,0,1,39,16,2,5,21,307,104,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319118409437945,0.04579322915192595,0.0,0.18613342654728388,0.20874256925284865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357908922962966,0.04003964616051518,0.0,0.09424519890200482,0.05097624245441669,0.0,0.0,0.10760101449730178,0.08806348000179437,0.0,0.06981403042437209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128900371373878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676696304238153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059035675641732385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05011126863908799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916802349945824,0.0,0.03782169517721535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796498800737153,0.0,0.1158156461300833,0.12272617294974646,0.0,0.0,0.052337377440963874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17950543700115235,0.05493192193714798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893980978373698,0.0,0.0,0.05063751356685775,0.0,0.0,0.5088185350821404,0.11753679051955132,0.18260378838891916,0.0,0.0,0.038382205936979774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06607385519133657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195354642332176,0.2841236366907598,0.0,0.06335306504199059,0.0,0.03147026699435937,0.0,0.12919039748315575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19583078824519032,0.0,0.05056430984166901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051682125633219465,0.0,0.03822352114410451,0.05805573065335287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541534363362525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04209492018459295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008792353861365,0.0,0.0,0.04355111920290335,0.0,0.0,0.06358382478694145,0.0620102876799196,0.0,0.0,0.04999987424375328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090628736764125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447026028136022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755936699907794,0.09473715013740358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410128054000916,0.0,0.0,0.04573033447063702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06555247608894234,0.0,0.0,0.053969733692399255,0.0,0.043054676553444304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19021508311110866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03339053675322053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775568511648724,0.0,0.055937665467939164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887611115489234,0.04545273255352348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308340800934503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05519952320908087,0.0,0.16675268865249854,0.0,0.0,0.04067801777436603,0.0,0.20874256925284865,0.07375103540478804
mentalhealth,Cadaverista,2019/04/04,"Advice on helping a friend Hoping to get some advice/opinions from anyone out there. I have this friend (who shall hereby be referred to as Z), who has recently fulfilled a long held ambition of going travelling across Asia. Z was always the quiet one of our group, and had a dark sense of humour, but never seemed to be any more troubled that the rest of us (we're a group of 4 guys from a working class background in the UK fyi).
Anyway, once Z had flown out to India and we were keeping in touch via social media messaging, we started to notice the changes. He became increasingly despondent and difficult to talk to, becoming increasingly cryptic and metaphorical and evading even simple questions on where he was and what he was doing. After about 5 or months of this, Z was suddenly back home one day (The likely scenario was that he'd run out of money). From there we spent about a month as we always did, just like before he left, in person he was the same as he ever was in person but his online persona was becoming increasingly apparent, very argumentative over social media but also plain incoherent at times, qualities none of us have ever seen from him in 20 years of friendship. When questioned or pressed about his erratic online behaviour by us in person he would act as if he didn't know what we were talking about. Then one day, he stopped leaving his house completely, elected to stay indoors and continue his online persona. He has no job, no desire to get one, is approaching late twenties and just spends his days and nights being argumentative online. I think it's also important to note he's developed an obsession with astrology and Buddhism, along with concepts such as karma and spirituality. 

Feel free to ask any questions about this as there are many details left out just to make this easier to digest, but my question isn't so much 'is my friend suffering from mental health problems?' more than 'what's the best way to deal with it?' 

Thanks to anyone who replies to this 
",10.476418463611859,8.281042684636116,9.769567048517525,66.31909450808627,58.81132075471698,12.509501347708895,39.62954851752022,10.9516,4.310575336927224,1600,61,271,30,16,513,210,371,0.08800000000000001,0.795,0.117,0.8914,3,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,9,0,0,2,22,15,0,1,14,0,29,2,0,1,3,56,45,29,0,5,10,0,3,2,3,2,2,1,1,4,15,24,1,3,9,1,4,8,6,5,0,4,17,5,20,11,63,22,11,50,1,1,1,0,51,18,0,10,24,191,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712572274615374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260178920995886,0.14837584821878044,0.0,0.0,0.12126316180775493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468492149527716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335218413992815,0.0,0.0,0.06855822380776104,0.0,0.0,0.19693953192586794,0.07586824704295284,0.0,0.09356749253133284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431902764456328,0.0,0.09348213731549193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725016852022751,0.0919196257791722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888907053629067,0.16129991337122404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04508176935356699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20665344200163116,0.0,0.09316441521793294,0.0,0.05067145159542578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882820150869378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477247846104857,0.0,0.0,0.05976179603189465,0.0,0.08943434177833061,0.08855559386461616,0.0,0.10287819995205608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847713886811284,0.07924914322251889,0.0,0.0,0.04899978079097767,0.0,0.100575904839138,0.09440713574913084,0.19374431814645302,0.0,0.0,0.08711774739047302,0.0,0.0,0.07890343444307621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059514720909616736,0.09039383352496537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985189955612134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233267359052218,0.0,0.06554255996075461,0.0,0.06876537492100833,0.0,0.0,0.08367023854062065,0.0,0.0,0.10150878799678824,0.0,0.09495205708399572,0.24166739174188365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335521536527944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531368958834798,0.0,0.0,0.39951659882067975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803434215872373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116754520329834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18177395461535945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310761908872045,0.09503226347032796,0.0,0.07454141235907401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433262076897929,0.0,0.08208617460532668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712986732447594,0.0,0.0,0.05198967589611311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217440386763647,0.0,0.0,0.07356600207769308,0.0,0.07077073517910658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490924585850429,0.0,0.0,0.06333641701586727,0.0,0.0,0.057415854917754125
mentalhealth,Tatertot1024,2019/04/04,"Any tips for coping with burnout? Hi, 

I'm an 3rd year archiecture student. I work 20 hours a week and I'm full time student. I slowly feel less and less motivated to do the things I love. I have lost my passion for alot of my work.

How do I work towards feeling the same away about that work im doing?? I'm just worried about long term effects on my health. 

Thanks ",-0.3749282296650698,1.8889013157894752,1.0782296650717704,99.63806220095695,95.05263157894736,3.289952153110048,20.06698564593301,4.851557810540192,-0.5123000000000006,284,10,64,1,11,90,54,76,0.058,0.7559999999999999,0.187,0.8774,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,8,4,4,0,0,5,0,4,3,0,3,0,11,12,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,8,3,10,11,6,10,0,1,0,2,2,4,0,1,6,37,10,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974896565344692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068926294343497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22268752455017013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340707665936515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168604854025037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378623872182841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948771171427528,0.0,0.0,0.2403830037452703,0.0,0.19874628351726764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20273790586268225,0.0,0.0,0.14629638535208225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840503371408868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17663754466077872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6412560770312812,0.22363187491925932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180670795427347
mentalhealth,Pidovey,2019/04/04,"Waitlisted from my top choice and my head is spinning I took a year off after highschool to work on my portfolio for art school and I got news from all my colleges. A few minutes ago I found out I was waitlisted from my top choice. I am a wreck right now. I have to go to work in thirty minutes. All my thoughts of self harm, binge eating, and suicidal thoughts are back and I thought I buried them. I contacted my therapist and I have a session shedueled with her tomorrow but I don’t know what to do with all these feelings and urges. I don’t want to fall back down that hole I used to be in. ",1.9670066518847025,3.7818840894308967,3.065218033998523,93.00252771618624,78.02439024390246,7.074353288987436,25.815964523281608,8.00094639256281,1.3597219512195124,465,18,105,8,11,149,75,123,0.064,0.897,0.039,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,0,4,0,10,2,1,1,3,22,21,7,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,9,1,0,6,1,1,3,2,1,0,0,7,1,22,0,20,13,4,19,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,7,73,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133931580537305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146040191912872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20932658942176927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10343694048037178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22430088374453486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626207218318485,0.0,0.1636136360893677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994824812477195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242654141361018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17470200314979314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070361654669682,0.0,0.0,0.2134115414955836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22376681358836556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23752200071521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4872181386512115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22728524061500466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766831428676559,0.0,0.0,0.12066092167523053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29785937405585416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173662997074653
mentalhealth,DaffodilTattoo,2019/04/04,"Wish me luck. For ten years I have been in denial about my mental health. I was terrified of being formally diagnosed with depression, so aside from a handful of half-arsed attempts to get help from professionals in the past, I feel like I've been barely clinging on to a sense of normalcy. 

I've avoided medication like the plague. Tried self-help, cognitive behavioural therapy techniques, mindfulness, healthy living, exercise, changing contraception, coming off contraception and mental health awareness courses galore. But nothing has been able to rid me of the ever-present numbing despair simmering below the surface. 

I've now realised that how I am feeling isn't just a ""blip"" or a ""bad day"" or ""just period stuff"", and no amount of colouring books and kale will cure me alone. 

Today I went back to the doctors with a handwritten letter explaining how the last ten years have affected me. Today I was diagnosed with depression and that no longer scares me as it once did when I was younger.

Tonight I will take my first dose of prescribed Sertraline and although I know it won't be a quick fix, I am finally ready to accept this part of myself and take control of it.

Wish me luck. ",8.383775193798451,8.583246195348837,7.807732558139538,70.99656007751939,61.465116279069775,11.259689922480627,38.84689922480621,10.864195022040775,4.427457364341087,952,45,157,22,12,299,137,215,0.14,0.735,0.124,-0.5719,0,2,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,10,12,0,2,12,0,18,10,1,4,0,30,29,15,0,2,5,0,3,2,0,3,9,0,0,0,7,10,0,2,5,2,0,2,4,7,0,3,8,4,19,5,26,16,2,23,0,3,1,0,3,6,0,4,17,107,26,3,0.13168695487547155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638797054335058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125913974861976,0.1099531067532389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393073371911598,0.11343665126535668,0.0,0.0,0.14769811746189526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492719170471576,0.0,0.22684356254291685,0.2673189744199605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478717836910525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911838990531193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331697622706239,0.09407718687533463,0.0,0.1442566222585772,0.0,0.11201285654476403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880099874380917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799541501459962,0.0,0.0,0.17653398002230875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237170648816696,0.10734244424724487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867118877426695,0.0,0.11628199377189602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326607528667333,0.26541895482427225,0.0,0.13296628469320362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263571848198282,0.0,0.0,0.14024230914510386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260413933006394,0.12571009911817205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184161480536705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737821379281434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15075005750449602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19802440284522066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059550953201892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24964767094094165,0.0,0.0,0.08940679820170208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207512648470732,0.0,0.0,0.3028669983147931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696041628267852
mentalhealth,Rexkiller012,2019/04/04,"Im worried about myself. I have issues with over-empathy and I sometimes get thoughts of harming people who have harmed my friends, but when I say harming, I mean torturing them. Tearing out their tendons and choking them with it, playing jump rope with their jugular. Thankfully, these are only thoughts, but I don't know what to do. What should I do?",4.275897435897438,6.796651384615388,3.884230769230772,86.50993589743591,73.61538461538461,6.17948717948718,33.91025641025641,7.1686216300943375,2.3574102564102564,280,15,49,3,6,84,47,65,0.27,0.624,0.106,-0.9246,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,4,0,2,7,1,0,0,0,7,1,1,0,0,13,13,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,1,12,3,7,10,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,1,36,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260230342619274,0.0,0.1528450502118596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160036844826871,0.3053456932233222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607775659375467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186721922531737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22249709354400374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202817002475378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23264712121608025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893389567892601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269340293714109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4645032832284623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970982393168599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pretzelkoala,2019/04/04,"How ""bad off"" do you have to be for partial hospitalization? I'm not a danger to myself or anyone, and not in a crisis or anything. I just started therapy and really want to make progress, but therapy is actually making me feel worse and I don't feel like 45 minutes a week will actually get me anywhere. I'm just stuck even worse off than before for 6 days of the week. Of course I'm scared of PHP, too, I just don't know what to do.",2.5642857142857127,3.762697956043958,4.781098901098903,83.93890109890113,74.93406593406593,7.837362637362638,25.08791208791209,8.418075326091056,1.4831054945054944,338,11,74,6,7,118,59,91,0.204,0.72,0.075,-0.9364,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,1,1,4,0,8,0,0,3,0,18,20,7,0,1,8,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,7,1,13,17,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,5,47,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.3857537673044195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820075549097735,0.0,0.16264826164346538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650286342658521,0.0,0.0,0.1681847160566139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274672346504715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054528070717994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199874515982077,0.14120046376181622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326342923896484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862270502310736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656130317643533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26386444467882986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661899136430854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19788109925409955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398969583604116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4520576452726218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165784834981873,0.0,0.3170841636921747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028423723979143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whistlewink,2019/04/04,"There is no feeling worse than being too scared to live but too scared to die. Being pinned between the two is a great recipe for serious anxiety. I’m not suicidal at all, by the way. ",3.0674774774774782,4.683971783783786,4.209189189189189,86.8518018018018,74.4054054054054,8.176576576576577,25.84684684684685,8.841846274778883,1.8574036036036048,144,5,30,3,3,47,31,37,0.332,0.454,0.214,-0.5446,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,3,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,7,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,22,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22324921186911628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302873548256904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755805659275614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217436926481921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576913065721817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5843456390406775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192147407851683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850755828798445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316411333541261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973997825194578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ftdbll,2019/04/04,"feel like i've got plenty to say but don't know how or where to say it? Right before you hit tweet, or send, or post whatever it is, about how you feel right now. But you just can't. I want to make it clear how i feel (which isnt great at the moment), but i just dont know how to express myself. Even in a private message to my friends. ",0.8967999999999989,1.9021050133333333,2.501000000000001,99.3955,78.86666666666667,5.533333333333334,19.166666666666668,5.46131890053228,-0.583533333333333,256,5,67,1,6,84,47,75,0.076,0.802,0.122,0.5463,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,0,10,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,5,1,20,14,10,0,1,8,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,5,8,3,8,12,0,9,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,3,3,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101106727334279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28938831736504184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308828408835144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37455040505398224,0.17639964633457264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19076972433126446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19748442347266426,0.2722300929943717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714014704980354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063260471057208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16482096971058596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23648103663405715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4217365397675248,0.0,0.3927212757388405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563977136781991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,audoric,2019/04/04,"[serious] I think I had a hallucination/breakdown. Should I consider going to a psych ward? **tl;dr F/24 college student. I have a vivid imagination + an anxiety disorder. One day a scenario where I was being harrassed by cops played in my head so vividly I felt I was there and I had a panic attack. Was this a hallucination? I already go to therapy, but should I think about admitting myself into a psych ward?**

I think this was a day or so ago. I don't really know when. It all felt like a blur. 

First, I knowingly talk to myself and I have a strong inner voice/imagination. Ever since I was a child I would utilize that ability to retreat into my own head. Thing is, it's become so second nature that I would often start retreating without noticing, and by the time I realize it I would be halfway through the conversational scenario.

Second, I also deal with a major anxiety issue. This, coupled with the inner voice, means I have a tendency to catastrophize situations and play them out in my head. 

Lastly, for this specific case, I don't drive. Rather, I walk to the bus stop everyday so I can go to class. This isn't common where I live as most people are rich and have nice cars. There is also a fancy new neighborhood right in between my house and the bus stop so I walk through there as it's just faster.

One day While walking the route I found a dog loose on the street. I and a few of the neighbors spent time catching the dog. In the end while everyone was introducing themselves, and despite me doing the actual catching, these people were very cold and standoffish toward me. They asked me why I was walking on their street and what business I have there. 

*""So, where are you walking?""*

 (I hesitated to answer because I don't like talking about my situation) *""I'm just going home.""*

*""So... you're just out here... walking?""*

*""uh yeah, pretty much...""* I just wanted to leave at that point. 

That was a few weeks ago.

This led into what happened recently. I was alone sitting on my bed the other night and I was thinking about that day. Mulling it over in my head. I kept thinking about the daggers I felt when the women questioned me. I thought about what they might have been thinking. 

*""Who is this girl walking around here dressed like that? If she lives nearby then why is she here? Maybe if she's not a preacher then she's clearly doing something suspicious. A porch pirate maybe...""*

 I then started thinking about if they decided to question me more, or even worse called the cops. How would I react? I imagined the scenario clearly.

*Hi, officer I'm not here to steal stuff. I'm just a crazy weirdo who can't do things in their life like a normal person, all because I have aNxIeTy.* I'd imagine the stress of it and how I might not be able to cope if the officer didn't understand and escalated the situation, and how I'd start panicking, and how I wouldn't follow his orders, and so on, and so on.

It was extremely vivid. There were points where, even though my body knew it was in my room, I couldn't snap out of the scenario visually, oditorilly, or emotionally. I jumped out of my bed and started pacing around, mumble crying to this officer to *""please understand! Please, I'm not doing anything wrong! I just need to go the school!""* I felt the pavement and the hands on my body. I felt breathless from the weight of them sitting on me. I saw the cop car lights and the sky growing dark.

I could see my room out of the corner of my eyes and like mist it would drift across my vision, but it was distant. As the scene continued I kept growing more upset to the point of sobbing. Eventually I started to regain control just enough to take some CBD oil (No, idea how much I think it was a whole dropper full) and I gradually calmed down enough to get back in bed.

This was extremely scary, but I'm too afraid to tell anyone irl. Would you call this a hallucination? I really don't know if it is or not. Or if it's just part of a sick tactic to practice situations so I can make people *think* I have a mentally illness. I go to therapy every other week, but I wonder if I should go to a psych ward for a more... controlled treatment? I'm tired of making excuses about my illness, but I don't think I can dismiss this anymore. ",2.033101963949424,4.537515140435835,3.4321904761904776,86.80212214151199,81.61501210653753,6.334549367769707,24.06881894000538,7.594959193182576,1.3179627011030397,3310,123,647,55,90,1081,345,826,0.1,0.81,0.09,-0.807,0,1,1,0,0,0,149.0,0,2,7,4,57,20,1,4,57,1,67,14,8,11,5,142,125,67,0,23,32,0,7,5,1,12,5,1,8,4,41,34,1,6,35,2,2,25,17,9,1,5,33,17,100,11,84,75,18,111,0,1,6,0,34,47,1,21,41,469,141,7,0.055466056554840486,0.0,0.05412687012267592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833462501103314,0.0,0.0,0.05744610690338368,0.061208172659135994,0.0887123707751433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729414434154007,0.0,0.055007423928403104,0.03878315639319549,0.0,0.045643838530330785,0.09875309964136086,0.0518532755115174,0.0631006466710408,0.0,0.042649973775326304,0.0,0.06762318651701323,0.06125790171807554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322056981009115,0.0,0.0,0.11327409043877308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244197976015446,0.04428513284494125,0.06137213659667454,0.06092685864012539,0.1430840715420006,0.05718306880167018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356890616563025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623918480970828,0.04912646290978896,0.11462252686531875,0.0,0.07326961448326827,0.05017222364551933,0.04673254487885642,0.05300019398378447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662805626592332,0.0,0.0,0.0471793993706992,0.0,0.0608156681156085,0.0,0.0,0.028978725272843488,0.0,0.2206584670912353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904845063198065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276967039318793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055636977150326485,0.0,0.0,0.06400038224898205,0.0,0.0626144264988071,0.0,0.057892152509352424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144808235953852,0.04521223904814798,0.0,0.058730545225243874,0.0,0.0,0.0391773160708527,0.1354895676698001,0.0,0.09795508824637478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740480469026875,0.0,0.11144621790809396,0.06041879601988539,0.0,0.0,0.05589673925155003,0.11768144155290065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154786714814184,0.04112737812756355,0.0,0.05356946305154008,0.0,0.05205113670300186,0.05434495886485867,0.0,0.06314847301423346,0.0,0.0,0.07517047078877243,0.0,0.0,0.06507746653760396,0.0,0.06006433412113904,0.0,0.11535953936190126,0.04843082115815181,0.0,0.12177014790607317,0.15730005497453944,0.0,0.0,0.0564289199235489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426935468958746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106595223716053,0.0,0.054766039372983716,0.0,0.0,0.0473677092364496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05613461042493164,0.04419926585965734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04588209515257726,0.2493846860172425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04270048016226263,0.0,0.0,0.19629580155871226,0.0,0.0,0.0927442137709056,0.0635361803833264,0.0,0.06349536461752654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04170357169333168,0.08916303048380085,0.048479778194334716,0.0,0.1268605391704418,0.0,0.07369836673449646,0.3554040941913871,0.05449511894857975,0.04403385328590435,0.0646854072466774,0.06375007262325293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154842419782694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576530553310548,0.03271531723201713,0.0,0.08898304981467392,0.06754271424116046,0.0,0.0,0.1000989776950578,0.06192587133640552,0.0,0.05346729920802232,0.060150572310160175,0.0,0.0,0.05652465022716253,0.23640897106591086,0.06064342563528754,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dudeguy73,2019/04/04,To any professional mental health counselors Would anyone be interested in sharing their story on how they got here and what they do daily?  I have to conduct and interview for school and would appreciate anyone willing to share a little about my potential future profession,13.312826086956527,11.92857897826087,11.849565217391305,51.07260869565218,52.69565217391304,14.417391304347825,44.73913043478261,13.023866798666859,6.25255652173913,227,10,29,6,2,72,39,46,0.0,0.794,0.206,0.8555,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,3,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,1,0,6,7,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,7,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,25,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22358764798146144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4597935254249547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26296242624309385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494871028692646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295327377956623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313417626413057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327518029213857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4671242379314292,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,metalion4,2019/04/04,"I stupidly ate about 1kg of red meat yesterday, and now i'm having a manic episode Is there anything I can do or eat to make it die down? I'm kinda scared. 

I have Asperger's and possible bipolar, red meat has clearly been the cause of previous episodes.. I've just been laying in bed trying not to cause drama with anyone or have a meltdown. :/

",5.487142857142856,5.187919571428573,6.406428571428571,80.30107142857145,67.57142857142857,9.285714285714286,33.214285714285715,8.841846274778883,2.6722857142857137,270,11,54,4,4,90,54,70,0.16899999999999998,0.7929999999999999,0.038,-0.8484,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,1,3,0,9,3,0,3,1,12,13,4,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,3,0,8,10,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,32,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21384650270610606,0.0,0.2516756279668351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6283522884731292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31740779133517505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31294491243511563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20414681700759746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447823000370452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061935578918866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764146192774527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,norsewolf,2019/04/04,"I can not go on like this any more, yet I have no energy to break the cycle. In September 2018, I started an internship in Paris. I thought it would be a dream, as living there has been my biggest dream. Little did I know my internship would turn into my biggest nightmare.

A week after arriving, it already became clear the internship would not be as I expected it to be. My mentor told me straightforward that he didn't expect me to arrive so soon. The internship was always reading, reading and copy pasting things. There was never any real action, and up to this date, I am not under the impression I have learned a lot. If anything, I mostly forgot things I learned at university. The communication with my internship mentor is also not optimal. A week can go by without us even talking to each other.
But of course, work or not, I still have to be present every day from 9-5. In the beginning I tried to kill the time by browsing the internet. Later on, this shifted to reading books or learning about things which really interested me, instead of that dreadful internship.

However, in the past few months, I find it hard to become motivated for that aswell. If I think about things I like... Well, there is litterally nothing which doesn't feel like a task to me. I come home, eat and almost immediately go to bed. I can't bring up the energy to read or watch a movie or go out anymore, because work is mentally draining me. (even though I don't even do anything at work)

Another thing which makes it hard for me to go out is that I live here alone and about 10 km from the center of Paris. This means  it's hard to connect with students (I'm still a student) ànd with working people, and I feel very much alone because of that. Luckily, I still have my boyfriend who comes over every two weeks.

Since October, I have lost 6 kg (13 pounds) due to a diet rich in vegetables. Keeping to and seeing the number on the scale go down is the only thing which brings me joy in life. Although joy is maybe an overstatement. I threw a tantrum last weekend because all my clothes got too big, oops.
Another downside on the food things is that my stomach can't handle normal amounts of food anymore. In the beginning, I just pushed everything in there. But that made me feel sick so I stopped doing that. Now I just eat as much as I can eat. But as I have headaches every day, I don't think it's enough.

The last thing I would like to talk about is my future, as that is also worrying me. I have signed myself up for another pharmaceutical related master in Paris. But I actually don't know whether this is just an excuse to stay in Paris longer (I hàte my home and hometown) or something I really like. If I am completely honest with myself, I know that science was never my true love. I have always been an art and literature person. But that's not where the money is, right?

There are many other things which are troubing me aswell, but this is a fairly long post already. If you have any advice regarding my situation, please let me know.",4.495525628856194,5.86489649829932,5.2756763170384415,81.59424062648317,70.41156462585032,8.394937509887676,28.810473026419874,8.841846274778883,2.2425192532827087,2383,89,458,43,43,774,274,588,0.069,0.877,0.054000000000000006,-0.2599,1,2,1,0,0,0,78.0,1,1,0,7,32,18,2,1,32,0,53,11,1,3,5,82,89,36,1,11,26,0,6,5,0,4,2,0,3,1,41,18,7,3,16,9,2,13,17,4,1,1,14,8,64,14,71,66,10,80,0,1,2,1,10,33,0,12,36,332,105,17,0.0,0.0,0.06153542429935153,0.0,0.0,0.061619460199881675,0.0,0.0,0.06314338853020161,0.1306179557263807,0.13917194423514154,0.10085477626689633,0.1049384657683594,0.0,0.0,0.12864462417996927,0.19836515140180366,0.0,0.0,0.12507300582416325,0.0,0.0,0.10378257468976806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531855062099627,0.06964250778525148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863761249396804,0.06611501928649566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133427106407835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935719541714634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515567784480372,0.0,0.124947465240253,0.0,0.15938702743339492,0.0,0.05667238383488076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565192247010658,0.04504858376142175,0.0,0.0,0.057633787679532075,0.0,0.15249975101963256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21502358176942016,0.0,0.05043317136538266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694625055426417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265044510395351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056048768064771125,0.06976423500769181,0.0,0.13861991371019608,0.10280122634269737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448098564819878,0.044539666931891306,0.15403454912136094,0.06320059208910962,0.11136258024636536,0.05580426635271436,0.0,0.0,0.0688351580952431,0.053609580416657296,0.05691222604594109,0.059666919460008634,0.04209164481862608,0.06393082377560222,0.06335014651678061,0.06868855044293504,0.0,0.0,0.06354754226502649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0503322224425456,0.0,0.09270963930289737,0.0,0.09726829573444364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178336369164801,0.06050576567256899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04795838232776186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039182118159952,0.04371641531290887,0.05505973507018564,0.0,0.0692186496412233,0.0,0.0,0.06039204730938996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522998989081089,0.0717737071242128,0.08079302413458903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053851110905674085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05024899042249285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05216215507303528,0.07087973326857172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854506012661666,0.0,0.0,0.04463271351075675,0.06721134232281653,0.15107438600841033,0.052719236608062464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136711951386428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770358632605363,0.08080992558493236,0.06195407676712531,0.05006093718964808,0.036769574629746365,0.0,0.0,0.06025453563725992,0.0,0.042812181905131835,0.06858889893791388,0.0615984157498994,0.0,0.07585090204849089,0.0,0.0,0.052029380006387835,0.0,0.0,0.15174375629108305,0.0,0.05669663436507839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078557536116736,0.0,0.183627639035408,0.06403836887534413,0.0,0.17917812120231202,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,belamine,2019/04/04,"Has anyone here tried Trintellix? What ware your experience with it like? I’ve heard it improved memory, which is why I’m interested in it.",3.1925641025641016,6.113868000000004,5.036153846153848,74.39217948717952,80.53846153846153,9.620512820512822,24.051282051282055,9.725611199111238,3.0309897435897444,112,4,20,4,3,38,23,26,0.0,0.708,0.292,0.8253,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,11,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40644062794452857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.568597973984875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28398134698138205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39464721239429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5245098018649497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sreddit101,2019/04/04,"My anxiety is out of control, it is affecting appetite/mood/sleep.. I began a career job after working student/retail jobs my whole life. I lucked into a career opportunity and since then, my anxiety has devoured me whole and I haven’t smiled since I began employment. My past jobs involved a lot of socializing and moving around, but now I have my own separate office and the workplace has less people to talk to and they are all too busy to have casual conversations. The position has a long list of tasks to do and I don’t know how to complete many of them due to experience and I don’t have anyone to ask for help.

It has been affecting my sleep and my mood is always low. I only have an appetite when I’m outside of work, and even then it is lower then normal. 

I feel so alone and overwhelmed. Focusing on breathing and ignoring the clock hasn’t worked. What should I do?",3.7445431893687697,5.549629284883722,5.1177076411960165,80.2533720930233,73.01162790697674,8.170099667774089,26.82059800664452,8.841846274778883,2.1488225913621264,695,25,131,14,14,232,100,172,0.091,0.828,0.081,-0.3775,5,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,5,7,7,0,1,8,0,21,3,2,4,1,27,27,18,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,14,0,2,2,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,1,20,3,18,23,6,18,0,2,0,0,8,5,0,2,12,98,24,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541223359408836,0.0,0.0,0.12382188485748513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22767856616765306,0.0,0.0,0.10405144892643414,0.0,0.0,0.13247249655862128,0.13911731149096454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560245091349759,0.0,0.16690312779500566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828763641582958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556478605243134,0.0,0.0,0.07524283393936515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997442416130518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44301304691960747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178211330183985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510894113136993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131692213952029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651298539588335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087003688162556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581615358392012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458022563817967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131767507950334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205603360960986,0.10316615368106744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461944268797988,0.0,0.297835043288363,0.15169310874156064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196078836190218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33228221928401064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250064722808688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,qu4lizz,2019/04/04,"Losing my thoughts when I speak. I'm not sure if this is right place to ask this question but if it is or if you can help me I would really appreciate it. The thing is that when I try to speak about some deep things, shortely after I fotget what was point of my story. When I'm with myself and thinking about deep things I come to some interesting cognitions and I have good idea about it. But if I would try to express it throught words it wouldn't sound even 50% good as it was in my thoughts. That's not happening when I'm writing. I think that I have pretty good vocabulary and I wouldn't say that's problem. I came to few conclusions. First would be that I'm stupid, second is that my thoughts are much in front of my vocabulary, third would be that it's lack of communication because I'm introvert and I like to spend time alone. What do you think? Is there maybe exact term in psychology for this kind of ""disorder""?",2.8003810160427807,4.621093058823536,3.733900401069522,89.10908589572195,75.63101604278073,7.4557486631016054,23.452205882352942,8.278499904357787,1.152358556149733,730,22,160,13,16,234,98,187,0.067,0.764,0.16899999999999998,0.9723,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,3,9,10,1,0,1,0,20,0,0,0,2,39,35,16,0,12,9,0,0,1,0,6,0,4,0,0,22,7,0,0,9,0,1,3,4,3,0,3,6,4,21,7,20,21,6,20,0,1,0,0,10,9,0,8,9,111,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466979434642874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058504934123005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514965603256798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597605072465206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032481269812985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008918754540466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922595161841349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881456154768692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35147922745799737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352149951386256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362678571739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15768546717947293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545868384926494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824221499933175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626990667123972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033067073255026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026833131577858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593934044220244,0.0,0.13204588805366116,0.0,0.0,0.14210815459193574,0.0,0.1336580736225733,0.0,0.0,0.15647728763188906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948471227540716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928879297989405,0.0,0.11108178339546816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164987702737754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783981752778956,0.26851029593539744,0.0,0.332678862461472,0.08145046782135036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967161190952256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3969080943207964,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pessimismisrealism,2019/04/04,"I can only do things during the day when I'm on a stimulant, how can I change this? First off, I'd just like to say that I am not addicted to anything and I don't want to be. By stimulants I mean caffeine and Adderall, nothing more than that. 

I'm a college student who is barely getting by, simply because I have a hard time doing what I need to do. It's not a matter of motivation, I have plenty of motivation. I don't lack self-esteem. I'm actually a bit narcissistic, nothing severe but I definitely think I'm capable of doing schoolwork at a high quality. On the rare occasions that I do try, I excel. Despite doing essentially nothing productive during highschool and ending up with mediocre grades, I got into a good school and received a scholarship because I had a good application and good sat/act scores. But now I'm losing that scholarship and getting further behind in my degree by the minute. 

It's purely because I can't get anything done. I don't have the self-discipline or something to make myself get up and do what I need to do. I will just simply lie in bed all day long, getting up to eat and go to class. When I'm in class, if I don't know exactly what the professor is talking about, I don't retain any of the information. Basically if the professor is teaching something new, I can listen to him and even try to take notes but I don't understand it and I don't remember it later. I started recording lectures in one of my classes but then I don't want to listen again later. I should mention I'm in engineering, so it's very mathematical and scientific type things I'm learning. 

I used to be addicted to caffeine from sodas and things, but at the beginning of the year, I quit drinking stuff with caffeine in it. So I went a while without it and lost the tolerance to it. Now I have discovered if I take a 200 mg caffeine pill in the morning I feel happy and productive throughout the day. I actually get up and do things. 

I also discovered a similar experience with Adderall. Obviously I don't have a prescription, I'm a college student who had a friend offer me some. I know that's not good and all that, but it's already done and over with. If I take 20 mg of Adderall in the morning, I am productive throughout the day. I don't feel as much of the physical effects as I do on caffeine (like the anti-drowsiness and general jitteryness) but I definitely notice that I'm actually doing things and doing a better job at them. It's like I'm missing self discipline but some how taking Adderall or caffeine initiates it in me. 

I don't want to rely on stimulants though. I hated being addicted to caffeine so I don't take it more than twice a week now. I don't want to take adderall illegally, and I couldn't afford to pay somebody for it anyways. 

I just want to be productive and do things, but I don't know what to do about it. I want to have the feeling I do on stimulants every day, but I don't know how to feel like that on my own. I supplement vitamin B12 because I'm a vegetarian, but that doesn't really do much.

Also, I'm not sure how related this is, but I have to sleep for a long time to feel rested. Like, if I sleep less than 10-11 hours I do not feel rested all day. This is not convenient for me as an engineering student. Usually I'll get 8-9 hours of sleep or so and go throughout the day extremely tired. Even when I feel rested though, I still don't do things. ",3.8048695652173934,4.944001486956524,5.798956521739132,78.06626086956524,71.81159420289856,8.998260869565216,30.90144927536232,9.3871,2.840244057971015,2686,118,526,60,50,936,247,690,0.06,0.8420000000000001,0.098,0.9838,2,0,3,0,0,0,72.0,0,0,1,10,28,18,1,0,38,0,64,12,3,13,7,111,125,62,0,16,30,0,8,5,1,2,6,3,1,1,40,27,3,2,20,1,3,4,26,4,0,3,7,11,66,14,79,111,16,64,0,3,0,0,14,27,0,10,38,381,106,24,0.0,0.0,0.1849535710080015,0.20661526350536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971688357694787,0.10104451344444043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04296221404893614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397781990797952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15404733115505465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055874516206160615,0.0689724197948535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683240308342532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852054957216681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930307099577834,0.0,0.06188895826388008,0.0,0.06464537311214097,0.0,0.0,0.055955663213510316,0.0,0.0,0.08345501851696635,0.0,0.05322896026838704,0.0,0.0,0.06179877937052216,0.0,0.0,0.22360770032044425,0.04513333325422348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053737933191939743,0.0,0.0,0.048810038579832515,0.0,0.23104994477033186,0.0,0.07180936789572545,0.21195793958202944,0.0505280508340966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672526022709088,0.0565937712733869,0.06237375439926617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674948381558735,0.0,0.0,0.12443233316455432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269296828191763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888069809892128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543243329241352,0.0,0.0,0.11181850082760596,0.0,0.07067838903937128,0.06896465705499717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042170831448964136,0.0,0.0,0.06881777359104008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288405310800972,0.09368920875034448,0.0,0.0610162966249963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18185878386529494,0.07192691024632679,0.0,0.0,0.04281005895724108,0.048048605998263785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719602752137152,0.0,0.0,0.04047250965973368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156670501096345,0.0,0.0,0.050240520835077726,0.0,0.06393803195900745,0.0,0.0,0.1977207305272859,0.07137150843227286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966649793677934,0.0,0.0,0.09727277501750067,0.0,0.0,0.04471668063062082,0.0,0.05045286696103959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232202417425411,0.0,0.0,0.05954314188656809,0.0,0.2850053768484397,0.05077891027906031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938018046574728,0.0404809762831781,0.12414126082174365,0.0,0.07367749779523848,0.07261213981747439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578544815073534,0.0,0.0,0.06576900684331533,0.0,0.0545642468300661,0.06958003399704006,0.05212726240796748,0.22357896309198366,0.0,0.05067641014868148,0.0,0.0,0.05856528610902069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089993071379737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04068362084587285
mentalhealth,HarborianPan,2019/04/04,"Confused about myself So lately, I’ve been feeling so shitty, everything just came through me, as if it is a giant wave. I gotta admit that I’ve been kind of suppressing some feelings, like it’s been almost a year since I cried, I feel like those feelings were stuck in a pile and now they are active again, and I, myself is responsible for it. I’m not seeking some services or anything but it’s just that I wanted to talk to someone that I can trust about it, yet there’s no one to trust, even my family. I wish I could cry them out so I can release them freely, yet I can’t, because I don’t have someone to, if I ever spilled those by myself, alone, I feel like giving up, but I’m here asking for help... Any advices? I just can’t stop blaming myself for all of this...",1.066281055900621,3.06177095031056,2.772884316770188,93.10479231366465,81.73291925465837,5.018788819875779,21.242624223602483,5.985473137389443,0.09788478260869572,597,18,130,4,16,197,98,161,0.14300000000000002,0.667,0.191,0.7977,0,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,3,0,16,7,0,1,3,0,14,0,0,0,2,30,29,11,0,5,9,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,2,6,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,6,5,23,6,17,21,3,13,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,7,11,95,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559449062387687,0.0,0.0,0.1594425420598075,0.1649108432762393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827961765029563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310300089623304,0.0,0.14885547258444115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706311980638506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18211292890328096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712956535666264,0.0,0.34980611143636925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516773513723543,0.1440296680912126,0.0,0.0,0.1431026929905828,0.0,0.15010476407326945,0.0,0.4025490244384239,0.3412547637198676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274476169818815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672630216730307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581010793443718,0.0,0.0,0.1796146555716467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23337037161253216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078961342680491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171397350943012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26982453622250946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312065278570667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279803918730178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391603441213957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310284951692515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253677580031037
mentalhealth,jobysimpson87,2019/04/04,"ashtray musician produces album during a psychotic episode I know someone called Finn from Tooting broadway. I see him busk a lot. I heard he produced an entire album while having a psychotic episode. If you want to check it out type in ps, fuck the world i think... or ashtray desert bus on youtube he's always in JJ moons in tooting doing something ridiculous seems to be having some sort of mental health problems",4.75975563909774,7.391816065789473,4.481127819548874,82.27289473684213,72.55263157894737,5.9218045112781965,33.22556390977444,6.868970318607317,2.324919548872181,335,17,53,3,7,102,61,76,0.115,0.8320000000000001,0.053,-0.6875,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,0,3,2,0,5,0,4,2,0,2,0,13,11,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,6,0,9,9,2,7,0,0,1,1,6,6,1,6,1,30,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26042760012028565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195914607403144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893484863134665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326871511685597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172007715150493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26608764039268257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154140629834368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29948323401177696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24940757211151704,0.2849287031374725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265190164088097,0.2409502257137373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054738585980209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18460595856056888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kayallday95,2019/04/04,First therapy visit this morning So this morning I had an appointment with the therapist to evaluate and stuff. I am at 90% stress capacity and had near perfect scores for depression and anxiety from the questionnaire. I've felt bad for a long time and even tho the results sound bad I'm proud of myself for finally dragging myself in there after all these years. Let's see how this goes.,4.043737769080239,6.653473452054797,4.803170254403135,79.20068493150687,74.75342465753424,9.102935420743641,29.606653620352247,9.606745405546679,3.277972211350294,314,14,55,9,7,101,57,73,0.185,0.732,0.083,-0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,0,1,5,0,4,0,0,2,2,10,7,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,3,3,4,2,11,3,1,10,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,6,40,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188348764144927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4188634521354754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21603863798654524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567017954264998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408351616729032,0.2747708935966513,0.0,0.2133550072450025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564896322358359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22197575936710526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19987822680013967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28732375585144065,0.0,0.2871391785120915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868448053052589,0.29123178523750426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626039877408747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152564314896414
mentalhealth,GarnetsAndPearls,2019/04/04,"Does anyone else have trouble telling the differnce between their Anxiety and Depression? I have a therapy appointment this afternoon and I don't really feel like going (but know I should).

I can't tell if it's my Anxiety or Depression, that's making me feel like not going.  Normally when I'm depressed, I don't feel like doing anything.  On the other hand, when I'm anxious, I don't want leave the house either.

",3.182183544303797,5.76441865822785,4.84099683544304,77.94352056962029,77.60759493670886,9.013291139240506,28.8623417721519,9.516144504307137,3.328758227848102,330,15,57,10,8,111,53,79,0.328,0.62,0.053,-0.9619,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,4,0,8,1,1,1,0,15,18,7,0,4,5,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,0,4,9,3,2,17,1,6,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,2,6,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639896938105065,0.1949243656143107,0.0,0.12064600812007152,0.17679059213190698,0.14198810581924892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4458328431043223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099345530931402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14413745346677145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617286250625093,0.3697940486008005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196120213649703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19909134156633748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482506593893053,0.0,0.0,0.18269801880757108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25288723767945265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517372615737476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905540853928616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11053540051950696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016202010169116,0.0,0.1973178444232955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177027337355016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TerabitterProd,2019/04/04,"Is there a term for my form of self hatred? (First time posting, if I did anything wrong with the format or anything please tell me, I'd just like some help.)

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I should say first off that I'm not diagnosed with any kind of disorder (though I have a vyvanse prescription for what we think is ADD) and I am not strictly speaking suicidal. I say strictly speaking as my current mental state is kind of complicated so bear with me.

​

My problem is that I hate myself. I don't mean like ""Oh I'm unattractive"" or ""I'm stupid"" or similar self confidence issues (I'm not trying to make light of that form of self hatred I know how hard that must be to deal with, I'm just saying it's not me). When I say I hate myself, I mean it as in how you may hate someone horrible in your life. Like ""I hate my annoying roommate"", ""I hate my racist uncle"", I mean that I hate ""me"". Like as a separate person. I genuinely believe my entire self to be horrible and pathetic and worthy of pain and ridicule. I often have these kind of waking fantasies of beating myself up or torturing myself. Like a good way to imagine it is if you've seen the Punisher series on Netflix, in the second to last episode of season 1 there's a very intense scene of the main character killing a major antagonist in a brutal way, meanwhile a secondary character is standing nearby watching and enjoying what's happening. Now imagine all three individuals are 3 instances of the same guy, everyone experiencing all the sensations involved (torturing, being tortured, and watching the torture). That's what I imagine.

​

I have had this form of self loathing since I was really young with it getting more intense as years go by. I need to make it incredibly clear that I've never attempted suicide or would consider it due to the burden it would put on my loved ones. I have, however, committed minor self harm in the form of biting my nails for most of my life or random tiny punishments such as (but not limited to) having the shower be a bit too hot or cold, forcing myself not to sleep, or skipping a meal every now and then. I obviously realize this has become a problem to look into, but after some cursory glances online I can't find a specific term to describe this situation. I truly don't believe I have some form of outright psychotic condition but I know it is some kind of dissociative  problem. I want to be able to seek professional help for this but don't know how to describe it that won't also make me sound crazy and get locked up someplace. I am not against doing that if it's absolutely needed, I just can't afford to do that without a little planning at least. Is there a specific name for this condition or one it may be related to?

​

TLDR; I hate myself but as like an outside or separate person, am I insane or what?",7.341375521030692,6.793251904761906,7.918326386257418,71.82609890109894,63.835164835164825,10.974257925982068,37.32575470506504,10.401786478921641,3.924272780093469,2244,101,403,47,29,748,258,546,0.158,0.76,0.081,-0.9904,4,0,0,0,0,1,78.0,1,2,0,6,18,38,18,0,25,0,42,8,2,6,7,92,74,41,3,13,30,0,2,6,0,7,4,7,1,9,31,16,1,1,12,2,0,2,15,25,0,6,4,17,55,13,64,57,20,37,0,0,5,1,25,13,0,23,23,293,86,1,0.05948686295454503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757162281273802,0.0,0.25781596463160283,0.289132198605558,0.040453106700541114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790523920475884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569856648783398,0.0,0.13404264761488702,0.0,0.0,0.06494424738393606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061328343646748995,0.0,0.0603779137102352,0.0,0.0,0.06817709864602171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012024768656552,0.056842246806574966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436991504506564,0.10119899048051594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062158861328049875,0.0,0.03380775509236268,0.04989475831117581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890134683627037,0.05260403645232231,0.0,0.05328854479661133,0.4111167309503545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974558061835406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208882975234565,0.0,0.0,0.06581340014720674,0.24778565472822245,0.0980772724918565,0.04848973291378859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403466108067223,0.1743736586524771,0.05962146444008686,0.0,0.0,0.049953982732543256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368921633867031,0.0,0.1191238288356597,0.0,0.0,0.19439589878685232,0.0,0.0,0.05994876639869421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821751025098314,0.04587993595932058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061967574022705,0.0,0.0632982163193225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038832684332823,0.0,0.06529871195441149,0.0,0.0,0.05697197102274115,0.0,0.0,0.17076268191352278,0.0,0.05980072765111447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038108807656863065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892253641972146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723466299859978,0.0,0.0,0.04920814775627971,0.06686572636276274,0.059529823655542324,0.0,0.05040302593921928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013794592744202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05199414021189239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03811677980702274,0.05844554082154031,0.0,0.03468726816947495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04038767512589784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04908289190577298,0.03508689302206451,0.09443580585552737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05734321309452652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08451552136286103,0.06503954623660133,0.289132198605558,0.03830758938931377
mentalhealth,sdeqweo345,2019/04/04,"Afraid I have bipolar disorder - don't know how to get diagnosed I hope this is the right subreddit for it - sorry if it isn't.

I come from a family where mental health issues are pretty strong. My grandmother has an acute case of paranoia that has been ongoing for decades - she thinks she is being followed on the street by some vengeful organisation and bends every little event in her life into that fantasy. She has never been treated.

My mother is not as bad, but she has mood issues and attachment issues - her last unrequited crush on a guy incapacitated her for about a year. She's now seeing a psychologist. I also suspect she and my sister have some degree of Munchausen - my sister has health issues, but a majority of them seem to remain undiagnosed, and there was a time where they had fought with every hospital in the area because the doctors told them it might be psychological and they went ballistic at said doctors every time. At the worst, they were going to the hospital about once a week.

Then there's me. I have felt pretty ok in my head, generally. I had anxiety and a mildly depressive episode in my early twenties - I saw a psychologist once, but he didn't seem to believe I needed his help, and indeed I got over it eventually. It wasn't too bad. However from that time onwards, I have started realising that I have trouble with two things in particular, and those have very negative consequences on my everyday life.

1) I have a spending problem. I tend to drop money without even realising it, on stupid stuff like clothes or video games. There are things I actually want to save for, that I know would bring me more joy in the long run, but I cannot get there. Sometimes I turn around, and poof, the money's gone. I know it's a problem, and I have been getting better, but the improvement is slow and difficult. Matters are made worse by the fact that right now I'm in between jobs and am spending my boyfriend's money - and I absolutely hate it. It makes me feel guilty and worthless. I really need to stop spending so I stop feeling so shitty about myself - except I don't seem to be able to manage it.

2) My motivation for things in general is very unstable. I have also been working on it (forcing myself to go to my appointments even if I don't want to, doing some work even if I don't want to), but much like with money, sometimes there are periods of time where I drop everything, then I turn around and 2 months have passed. What concerns me is that I see it afterwards, but I don't really see it while I'm in it. I am capable of spending two weeks time-wasting and then realising I have admin, emails, work that has gone undone for all that time, and feel crushed by the guilt. But then conversely, I have those periods of activity where I get up early in the morning and feel like nothing can stop me and get so much done! That contrast, combined with the family history, made me wonder whether I could have some form of bipolar disorder.

For the longest time I thought I was just lazy - and maybe I am. But it feels like such a struggle to do things sometimes - like my brain is resisting any kind of motivation I try to put into it - and I don't know if that's a thing for bipolarity, or if I'm just making excuses for myself? 

Also, I live in the UK and I don't have the first idea of where to go to get a diagnosis. I'm confused by the different branches of psychologist/psychotherapist/psychiatrist/counsellor. I don't need someone to hold my hand and tell me I'm gonna be ok - I need someone to look into my brain and determine if I just need to get my shit together, or if there's a circuit in there that's really not working as it should. 

Tl;dr: My family has a history of mental illness, I have an issue with compulsive spending and very fluctuating motivation that is having a very negative impact on my daily and professional life. I'm trying to understand how to get diagnosed in the UK, and whether I should start that process. Thank you!",5.51436528497409,6.282157788860104,6.526677720207258,75.76987668393788,67.61398963730569,9.958383419689119,31.631709844559587,10.031837587363436,3.1160887253886016,3151,125,595,73,50,1053,314,772,0.152,0.7390000000000001,0.109,-0.9916,4,0,0,0,0,0,89.0,0,1,5,10,35,33,4,4,37,2,72,18,5,9,3,126,142,63,0,22,28,3,7,5,0,5,13,1,0,1,41,38,0,4,22,3,9,12,18,17,0,3,24,13,89,15,89,108,11,87,0,2,5,0,30,39,1,21,39,429,130,12,0.056795376579003576,0.0,0.055424094709540274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625772639187433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03862280367017242,0.0,0.04344830762715588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111985294879386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484353419800684,0.03462193440693405,0.0,0.0,0.06398894033756172,0.0,0.050230895156806926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268048472418879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892418791648336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04534648671648064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04891777462441523,0.11529222338880753,0.0,0.059339080245357625,0.13018484416041412,0.11626494910955765,0.0,0.05812138917388941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253843174143438,0.0,0.14355766299694905,0.0,0.0510440222821857,0.0,0.16062487913883786,0.0,0.14358724454234564,0.08114925675258597,0.0545324682202607,0.0,0.0,0.04831011830416887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373859209584643,0.0,0.09683436407944386,0.0,0.04542445100661962,0.0,0.0,0.05623635216959919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560736759886346,0.05828844183659741,0.12074165886387556,0.0,0.0,0.03806874372574946,0.0,0.0,0.05641062404674764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411506700069776,0.0,0.2963980862319691,0.056360647584288326,0.0,0.0,0.059143644799011526,0.12485301456161688,0.04629581228982108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034876234974808,0.13873676075609045,0.05692388801295301,0.050151358058795226,0.050262121026146016,0.04769381204525371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748231714761672,0.07582270977962352,0.0,0.057058589591074016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447276235299993,0.060250919251385864,0.0,0.0,0.045333527725861376,0.0,0.08350227349070627,0.21056526040863807,0.04380409574163113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054496695607330926,0.0,0.0,0.1209704449121379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556263257459605,0.0,0.10869101000591176,0.0,0.0570950404501702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091537176957312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700588254760734,0.05402540913700128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577568543381482,0.15511313325707898,0.0,0.0,0.05829963788685491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624507653485287,0.0,0.16851623907195978,0.06357777417422712,0.08040011973363541,0.0,0.0,0.14245043384599082,0.0,0.05937485919870567,0.06501711800816395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964166248760506,0.05228955205445211,0.0,0.0,0.1886616226180024,0.036392184015032386,0.0,0.04508918489860225,0.23182488573675655,0.0,0.0,0.05427041623363043,0.0,0.07712066510142189,0.12355412103002553,0.1109616604533932,0.059125990015277075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874485350827809,0.10049815387128824,0.0,0.09111565049474564,0.0,0.0,0.05264988309726543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054748716274419865,0.061592163171369285,0.16539084231673984,0.0,0.057879340898771565,0.040345805982762516,0.0,0.0,0.03657436040731218
mentalhealth,squiddie96,2019/04/04,"My experience talking about mental health, good and bad First off, I want to say I am very lucky to have a few people in my life that I can be honest with. Some people have reacted very positively and with encouragement -- these are the people to be friends with. Unfortunately, they are all in different states and I see them only a few times a year.

With other people, the experience has been less than awesome. I don't know if it's their fault, and I don't have any hard feelings toward them. However, when I told even some of my best friends about what's going on in my life, I saw visible ""weirded-out-ness"" and have noticed they do not talk to me anymore. Often when I leave a group, I can tell they start talking about me right away. To break the awkwardness, they will often crack jokes and laugh and I have no choice but to play along. These days I spend 24/7 alone and just don't want to deal with the stigma. 

These people will exist, and I encourage you all to not let them effect your progress. They have their own misconception or issues that make it hard for them to talk personally about mental health. Frankly, I think they need help too.

",5.662321428571433,6.1843870178571425,5.5580357142857135,83.71196428571429,67.21428571428572,8.721428571428572,26.714285714285715,8.634040054169528,1.5975660714285715,908,24,186,13,14,283,128,224,0.054000000000000006,0.758,0.189,0.9797,2,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,12,4,11,14,0,1,8,0,22,4,0,3,2,37,34,14,0,4,6,0,3,0,2,2,4,1,0,1,9,15,0,0,4,2,1,1,6,3,0,1,3,6,34,11,29,26,9,18,0,0,2,0,29,8,0,7,7,134,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409006490580805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147690300566919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882223484799424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125681945611646,0.0,0.10003879447174498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573628132087092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726942991322322,0.12352187296254502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251790141100091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913531226880023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23440007756143424,0.0,0.0,0.06058101890445061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191281960975256,0.0,0.0,0.1851343496655971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809245091831248,0.10049340372062453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146577086327307,0.0,0.0,0.25471109016337423,0.0,0.0,0.08030808344672198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505357368262912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658460546020535,0.0,0.0,0.12686459643316125,0.0,0.1225168415747824,0.16925483574522668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997606314520839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24148651233802984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883977168093292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640781834386306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091123134529774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4153160094613614,0.1046160317019264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231959014169954,0.0,0.0952800532666052,0.0,0.0,0.09547539537428404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480421065652223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3852043884729005,0.10472178441738456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677128963703796,0.0,0.0,0.06986388474678369,0.0,0.0,0.11448639195915375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19771643511329715,0.14133754426780784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715560063554701
mentalhealth,sad331,2019/04/04,"My cognitive skills have really diminished, how do I know it's not just depression/getting older and something else? I'm guessing I'm asking this after reading about someone having a brain tumor the other day.  But my cognitive skills have slowly gotten worse over time, and have gotten really bad lately.  Like I'll try to think of name/word that isn't obscure and can't come up with it.  I try to say something and words with wrong meaning come out.  How do I know it's not just the depression/getting old?",4.207857142857144,6.143290551020414,4.960969387755104,81.3134948979592,72.06122448979592,7.757142857142857,26.535714285714285,8.472884824447931,2.005751020408164,406,14,72,7,8,131,65,98,0.13699999999999998,0.8340000000000001,0.029,-0.8804,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,3,0,8,1,1,2,0,23,20,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,9,0,0,4,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,1,5,1,10,18,0,11,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,7,43,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185483917591462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566169647664164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214880148993225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34182041137631797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795620851691614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657437284811969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073191109873023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21856786241860768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21807877972281384,0.0,0.22381192571452965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969317195731869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21612356927073184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819494546594267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984608582036025,0.0,0.2542094226118545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778134220708465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681097482407294,0.3054870599938773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271313009031054,0.0,0.0,0.11569281427986075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694108844032717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021938529667712,0.0,0.2169270899868455,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CallumClancy,2019/04/04,"Losing Passion for my only accomplishment. Hey, Not the biggest writer so bare with me.  
(Felt like I could post on reddit to share my feelings because I have no one to really talk to)

​

Let me give you a run down of how I'am right now and what I do.  


So Im a photographer (no qualifications/studied the subject) Picked it up because I fount a shitty camera laying around at my nannie's and fell inlove. I now do the shitty club photographer job, you know the one person who takes a photo of you which you hate and regret the next morning.  


I was in a semi bad car accident when i was around 19 and was unemployed since I was in secondary school. In school I failed most of my GSCE's getting U's (Ungradable) due to my poor antecedence, I assume it was due to my mother letting me live alone from the age of 13 after I got into a pshyical fight with her partner after I caught him hitting my younger sister. I was living in a house with my drug addict of a uncle whilest she was in the peak district living a very nice and expensive life style with her boyfriend. 

​

I was eating anything I could to keep my energy up mayonnaise on bread did wonders for my hunger (probably didnt help my health). Sleeping on sofa cushions from some dead old ladies house and putting the cushions on the floor because I felt safer sleeping on the floor not attending school because I had nobody there for me, my mother being useless and living her high life would ask my neighbor to check/send me off to school because i didn't fit in at school the neighbor would come around and tell me to go, I'd walk about 5 minutes away sit in a field for about an hour physically looking at my school and once i felt like she wouldn't be home i'd go back and just sleep and get worse and worse. After a few months the police would start to try and take me to school due to my mother being threatened with fines she would only be there if she knew the police would be taking me to show her face.

  
I would have dark dreams of people walking into my living room where i slept. Standing over me (one person each dream) pure shadowy character and no form of facial features just a black body shadow the dreams got so bad I would start to have them when i was awake holding my head under my sheet believing that someone was standing there wetting myself till age 15-16 and forcing my body to not sleep so I didn't have the horrible nightmares. I once spent 5 days in my bathroom alone puking my stomach acid up until she came and checked up on me because the police were taking me to school the next day i lost a alot of weight over those days. Yet nothing was done my family who claimed they cared about me just shrugged it off. (I don't get why the government didn't step in on that situation)

​

So fast forward a good couple of years no grades, abusive relationship with a girl. The car accident gave me enough money to hop onto a second hand seller website and pick up a dirt cheap dslr a relic of a camera (which I still use today) but it helped me and my mental state so freaking much you dont understand. Instead of sitting around and I was out the house alot more pushing myself to take photos. (The photos weren't amazing quality but I pushed myself to edit them for hours and get the most out of them that I could)  


Im now living in a house which hasnt had heating or warm water for 5+ years with my sister because I can't afford to move out with the wages I make from my club photography job due to not even earning enough to move on with my life (Around £100 a week) (im 25 now) my sister was pawned off onto me to look after because my mother couldnt handle her and was having a child with her boyfriend.   


I achieved a fair bit with the relic of camera working with some of my idols (Spent years and years pestering people to be even given a shot) And I finally got a manager to let me come shoot photos at a london show (I spent months with back and forward conversations with this guy) and felt accepted by the people around me at this show, I look back at that day everyday and wish I could be there.  


Now Im at a stage in my life where im lost, the camera i bought with my car accident money is missing buttons and has broken parts and doesn't focus correctly so I push it to its full potential hating the work I do I don't care for it. I go shoot and go home sitting on the photos mass edit them in one go because I dont care for them and then just adding to the fact that im not happy because I dont care for my work like I should, its my passion the one thing im good at the one thing im proud of myself for.  


Its only recently where it has got worse and worse, I've lost my only friend due to me being horrible and pushing him away because of the jealousy i have of him having a real family and people who care. I've sat on top of a bridge wanting to hurt myself but im to much of a coward to do anything about it so i just build it up and up and get angrier with myself which i put on my girlfriend and without her i would more than likely be in prison or worse for ware. I have grown to have anger issues I do not slowly get angry. I go from 0 to 100 if someone says something about me in my work place I will get in there face and not be scared of who/what/they're size I just don't care that I could get hurt. Talking to dr's and help lines offering my medicines which I do not want to be addicted to / depend on.  


I wake up wanting to be productive but im scared of failure. I have no friends. I want to be alone all the time but always want someone there I care way to much about everything else and not enough about myself.  


Sorry if this is just a stupid post but I've got nobody to talk to and thought I could express myself here and writing isn't my strong point so im going to leave it here if you want to ask anything please feel free.  


Stay in school, Do yourself a favour and get help if you have a poor up bringing because trust me the places you can end up are not beautiful.   


thanks for your time - Callum.  


  


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mentalhealth,LiamRos2277,2019/04/04,"Relationships and mental health I wasn't sure if I should post this in mental health or relationships, but I thought I'd get more understanding here. So, I am turning 22 this year and I'm in my second marriage. I am gay and my first husband I was with for 4 and a half years, my current relationship is a little more than a year. I have Borderline, Bipolar, PTSD, and Anxiety. I don't know, I feel like I need someone and I think that's my borderline but I feel like I'm not healthy enough for a relationship. I love who I'm with but I always have stress with him. I don't know. Any advice? Not really sure what I'm looking for. ",0.7288717948717967,3.0382536307692334,2.857692307692311,90.01064102564106,85.76923076923076,6.235897435897436,21.743589743589745,7.554174236665415,0.8931435897435893,492,17,108,9,15,166,71,130,0.153,0.797,0.05,-0.8439,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,1,4,0,10,5,0,0,2,27,26,12,0,3,7,1,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,3,3,20,5,9,22,3,9,0,0,1,2,9,3,0,2,7,69,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128523633582526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178993806849694,0.0,0.0,0.09136258704644908,0.0,0.1027773597563174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881943361283086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586276377331946,0.19195929164351327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427801633669382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019231453385695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856154724625212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476704605433215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312732186856709,0.134653965517841,0.0,0.0,0.11282013837660952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125609381520727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707863417745703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961880083759614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867013404691954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704792605429718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606803137668446,0.0,0.0,0.5769663572900751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383429408438378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538974373702226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25324651459695224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608603632914222,0.0,0.10665886959763517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613418841821252,0.0,0.1398630574727025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595509286366375
mentalhealth,LearnedBravery,2019/04/04,"How do you deal with anxious feelings about passing on mental illness to children or suffering a breakdown as a parent? I used to be  sure I wanted children, but now I'm afraid of passing on mental illness to them or having a depressive episode or consistent panic attacks lasting months on end. I can't care for myself during those times let alone another human being. It doesn't happen often, but it seems every few years I spend a few months losing myself and finding myself all over again. 

​",8.533225806451615,8.403957376344088,8.158623655913981,69.69793548387098,61.25806451612904,9.160430107526883,37.95483870967742,8.238735603445708,3.4678232258064514,408,18,60,4,5,130,69,93,0.292,0.6920000000000001,0.016,-0.9805,1,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,1,5,8,1,2,4,0,7,2,0,2,2,16,14,8,0,1,5,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,6,0,0,0,1,9,2,12,11,3,14,0,3,0,0,7,4,0,5,8,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653262852864652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514177293219973,0.2188451360190026,0.0,0.18885393866762853,0.0,0.20346538396216035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048934230687326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362724479966444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18567852037126825,0.1551226468777296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15951800306137434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517447378766162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106560387222336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461108808723707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926469024312606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680816935951152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18416775360153967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014894441718144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630033873769035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875133575528885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21131233334332866,0.1999833215703807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639592151051966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697451615130192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501964094330986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555136322249008,0.0,0.0,0.10622955053682208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188451360190026,0.11598057429641552
mentalhealth,userr1810,2019/04/04,"I need help Hi reddit , so a couple months ago in January i got an extreme headache , really severe and i was throwing anything i ate. I went to all sorts of doctors everyone said I’m fine i do all sorts of blood test , they said its fine i just have vitamin d that was low. They said its a migraine and acid reflux. The pain stayed so in February i got this extreme headache felt like my head was going to explode and i heard someone like a radio saying we got him. I was really scared and afraid I thought something happened to my brain like something was taking over. I sat down relaxed , a week later i got a severe headache with a negative voice saying suicidal thoughts , i sat through it. Now its April , i still have the headache , i went to a psychiatrist i explained to him most of the stuff but didnt get the chance to tell him about the voices cause the session was over. He gave me zoloft to take but i feel like shit when i take it . My head is giving this feeling like its going to shake or im going to go crazy. Can someone explain to me whats going on.",1.6431186868686858,3.861213236111116,2.8798316498316514,91.9028787878788,80.99074074074073,5.593939393939394,24.170033670033675,6.7829847944221076,0.8001185185185187,833,31,174,9,22,268,122,216,0.126,0.757,0.117,-0.5875,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,2,0,7,14,1,3,14,0,12,11,5,1,2,24,46,10,1,1,4,0,3,5,0,0,5,8,0,0,11,6,1,0,7,2,0,9,2,6,0,0,24,12,30,8,22,22,3,25,0,1,0,0,20,7,1,4,13,106,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515233158806123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833343612796944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982932984290562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026994784536462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877203764308553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986923007321464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257001603678853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085508238004642,0.15337049435283856,0.1030652891217678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056081838433848806,0.10297236303500323,0.3050250629423003,0.0,0.3434052650824574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492230102857928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22032801031787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194917462289213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594793258332092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622097408353036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567947306371243,0.0,0.0,0.07959283762972452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421960650264144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753224870960584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063208723729512,0.17072555828344232,0.1074682094064462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425321318349813,0.1101851654730464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819012959315462,0.16527444923548226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441244027515796,0.08572357268348371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288107038012006,0.11741488022275405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24212379403847725,0.0,0.09382176277268403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704353398811579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610339095443577,0.0,0.0,0.19901448075775344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thatgurl_overthere,2019/04/04,Advice for mental health Spiral I need advice on how to deal and cope when your mental health starts to go in a downward spiral. I can feel a really bad episode coming on and I dont want to go off the rails and start having unhealthy coping methods. ,3.5657999999999994,5.234020579999998,4.388999999999999,85.85950000000003,73.2,5.8000000000000025,20.5,5.985473137389443,0.21979999999999972,199,4,37,1,4,64,37,50,0.17,0.83,0.0,-0.8134,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,1,0,8,11,5,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,8,11,0,11,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4250983762567101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161256222519845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187366428242746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22424424402594428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25492121965821096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998007446559097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472329768620129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4624079483965522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4383997676113899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128161727331564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934308764258266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079107473484497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282935969422536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maza915,2019/04/04,"Seeking Mental Health should NOT be a big deal. Why is seeking mental health treatment treated any differently than someone going to rehab a body part. You know what I mean? Can you imagine the headline? 

“Britney Spears seeks rehab for her broken little toe!” 

The travesty. 

But she’s seeking mental health care. She wants to have some me time and make sure it’s safe. That shouldn’t be any different than any other thing. Like a broken little toe. Mental illness is another ailment a huge majority of the continent suffers from. I mean. Every human has a mind and the mind is a powerful thing. It messes with you. It should be normal. It should be okay to not be okay.

Mental health care should not be cast any way in the media, I understand I am probably preaching to the choir however, I’m frustrated. We should be taking more strides forward to take care of our past, present, and future generations. It should be okay to get help and not have to smile all the time. Your pain is as valid as any other human on the planet. We all suffer differently, because thankfully, we are all different.

Anyway. Tangents on tangents. 

Thanks for listening. 

🤘🏽",2.788689057421454,5.708093323943665,3.726126760563382,82.93952600216686,82.89671361502347,6.281617912603828,24.6242325749368,7.61054688173877,1.6999181654026718,910,35,155,16,26,291,121,213,0.115,0.73,0.155,0.7697,6,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,4,4,0,1,1,17,1,0,14,3,25,11,3,1,4,36,42,7,0,9,5,0,0,1,0,7,8,2,0,2,11,8,0,1,5,1,0,2,5,5,0,0,0,2,16,12,20,27,7,15,1,2,0,0,16,8,0,1,7,102,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106514203815872,0.09580255129972837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055694315677959655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148420484880147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794534018839037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419171291117588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818214694049949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697765340480152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047733635648316015,0.0,0.05192395836048272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884603318350924,0.0,0.0,0.06123899969322921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050210966872975486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04463557038072222,0.1831403728831094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06098581732017426,0.0,0.0,0.19904317863324333,0.0,0.0,0.4603643811521951,0.0,0.18450209453178187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951679003661521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721716036684756,0.0,0.0,0.09893772115241968,0.08721675816022165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985052598703335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741196104149406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610897743759459,0.0,0.13738789941242913,0.0,0.0,0.16823039316927946,0.0,0.0,0.1213956429228138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654953357004122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511258134736733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053888534370268,0.07252005993276896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244130970354374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Brockhampton-,2019/04/04,"Does anybody else have a box that they never open? I head severely depressed for a long time and the worst thing I ever did was convince myself I was no longer depressed.

I have this box I put my negative thoughts and problems in. My exams, my relationships, my friends, my failed goals, my sadness, my darkness, everything that I thought was pulling me down. But now I feel nothing. I want to open the box, yearn for it even. It’s me after all, and I think I’m lost without it. I pry at it now and again but I can only catch a glimpse. I peer through the ajar flap of the slightly opened box and I see faint catches of something material, a memory now a dream. Some memories, not all of them. 

But that’s all they are; a vision and an image - like starting a movie half-way through and not caring about the characters or the plot. There is no emotional recollection to the mental recollection of the dark world inside of that box. 

I dealt with my depression the wrong way and now I’m not sure I can ever feel hurt again, and I so desperately want to.

Fuck",1.88956937799043,4.266550373205746,3.0767224880382784,89.92455741626793,81.15311004784691,6.288038277511963,24.811004784689,7.520522993642371,1.2273712918660284,824,32,171,13,22,265,119,209,0.242,0.6890000000000001,0.069,-0.9888,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,3,3,12,17,1,0,17,0,10,3,1,0,7,40,24,14,0,4,8,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,10,13,0,0,7,1,0,4,8,12,0,0,7,3,30,5,19,17,5,25,0,8,1,1,5,7,1,2,14,122,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792562545174813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002321287882364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554952934994371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939477369463906,0.1742358609256926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023065893105252,0.2802225241935792,0.0,0.0,0.13920950586140562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663898311334126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967137890461607,0.14319779530921348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589668059590964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581814334637648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567380095125371,0.0,0.0,0.13707707031618244,0.0,0.0,0.16908602913634066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609757978764122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946445930900608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862578863076073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780451525052996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821345495514274,0.0,0.1557121091332777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662991039386501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343114323778208,0.0,0.0,0.17498709439909305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924562502837853,0.0,0.0,0.109635373927256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598656549357836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290525740495582,0.09925036718193896,0.0,0.2459384221222935,0.09032043419692223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182721994530698,0.24589664850325374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931311049458953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693532055438758,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jajadlpn,2019/04/04,"Please, help. Recently, I have been feeling that my feelings and needs will never be important. And I believe it. I am not significant enough to have valid feelings and needs. I will always choose to cater other people’s needs before mine. There is this voice in my head that keeps saying over and over “your feelings aren’t important just accept it” And so I never talk about how I feel about certain situations and just let other people decide for me but I feel very bad for myself. I almost pity myself for believing what my head is saying. I don’t know if anyone will reply to this but I just don’t have anyone to talk to right now. I want to self-harm.",2.9310465116279047,5.148615844961238,3.878468992248063,86.40281976744188,76.59689922480621,6.16046511627907,20.05232558139535,7.1686216300943375,0.5193767441860468,520,12,99,6,12,167,75,129,0.093,0.8290000000000001,0.078,-0.5978,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,0,0,0,15,2,2,1,3,33,27,11,0,5,7,0,6,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,9,6,0,1,10,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,9,19,2,14,21,1,8,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,2,4,77,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472263456026793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202578099324326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20211288792108734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067377541695813,0.0,0.0,0.12298159494724885,0.3256642460979204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933473755134194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4384623170486702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29665222406871466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687321480821336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846199051087234,0.0,0.0,0.07942810633713912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778836453458152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214941977018729,0.22293583454335736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003932619038622,0.0,0.0,0.15864693944941816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270270146985453,0.0,0.0,0.12342503032663026,0.0,0.22986689934288584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507728904433944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624540901958468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323302080441127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192496811516576,0.08524560479272396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mainmanchavez,2019/04/04,"Nonexistent Emotions. Ever since my girlfriend started dating, even before that, I had struggled with showing and feeling emotion. I can still laugh, but when I am I'm not truly happy. My emotions started coming back and my social anxiety started to dissipate when I started dating, but when we broke up my emotions just died. More than they were. I'm not hurt or sad, just dead. Also, violence runs rampant in my mind. Like thoughts of mass genocide or waiting for someone to try to fuck with me or my friends so I can let out everything on them and not show mercy. Even when people pull me off. Is this normal? Am I not alone? Subs like r/fightporn, r/holdmycoffin, r/holdmyfeedingtube and r/publicfreakout have brought me a sliver of joy, but it's not enough. Most times, I go silent. Not spaced out or anything, as I'm still perfectly conscious and acknowledge things happening around me. I can't go to a counsellor because I don't trust them. They say they don't tell anyone, but the first day they told people about my hyper violent thoughts. I trust Reddit, because nobody knows me on here. I ask you guys for help.",3.6671800947867297,6.140248549763037,4.127343601895735,84.2622950236967,75.35071090047394,6.684454976303318,28.559478672985787,7.7348632917899725,1.9528462559241704,888,38,159,13,20,279,132,211,0.214,0.648,0.138,-0.9696,0,1,0,0,1,0,35.0,1,1,6,2,17,15,2,1,3,0,12,1,0,0,2,40,32,20,3,1,16,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,4,12,0,1,6,2,0,6,9,6,0,1,6,2,31,9,21,25,3,33,0,3,0,1,17,10,1,5,19,109,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428563734952948,0.0,0.09596536768905943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091801021358214,0.0,0.0,0.08390802389553856,0.0,0.09875122734360664,0.10682701222739596,0.11218545072947476,0.0,0.0,0.09227394960849684,0.0,0.1463039236063193,0.0,0.10211266301408932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337089440618942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739121058313067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454288568181256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5399433329191689,0.0,0.12399390118837275,0.0,0.1585200673341179,0.10854846619134796,0.0,0.0,0.10784984814477154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067649776425516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207343955295874,0.0,0.0,0.09271306555019146,0.11093969756735128,0.0,0.0,0.13639953637703212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882061347316415,0.10611716400652348,0.12774410969918795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043465319380191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846437079777515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659498314339676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227099345361085,0.0,0.11725360119093772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116757345429605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757625039086995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638822770074171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543021962254518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992666996313711,0.0,0.0,0.12232668669587166,0.10167710561270178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397514661425985,0.0,0.19166712823237445,0.0,0.0,0.12545189939767806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488683143629716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972384009086554,0.0,0.0,0.1905359933197471,0.06997399388951138,0.0,0.0,0.11466682851114765,0.0,0.08147332095059948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crazy_pangolin_lady,2019/04/04,"I think my sister needs to see a psychiatrist but psychologist doesn’t agree Firstly I’m in Australia if that matters.

My sister has a long history of mental illness, GP have said anxiety and depression and have put her on a variety of medication throughout the years without great success. GP have referred her to psychologists on a few occasions where they have discussed all of the difficult things going on in her life that are contributing to this (getting divorced, twin boys, one child has a medical issue that requires ongoing surgeries etc)
She’s really bad at the moment. Most notably reckless spending, disregard for responsibilities, periods of intense highs followed by very low lows with uncontrollable crying and feelings of helplessness. I’m obviously no expert but I’m concerned she could have bipolar disorder. I encouraged her to visit the GP and get a referral to a psychiatrist (she has never seen one and has just been given drugs by a doctor). The doctor again sent her to a psychologist who stated that “regardless of if she does have some kind of underlying mental illness, all of the things going on in her life are overwhelming her and there is no point looking into that until her life is less stressful”
This seems a bit backwards to me, I don’t understand how she is supposed to suddenly be able to get her stressful situation under control if she has untreated Bipolar. 
What do you think? I’m just worried about her and feel like she may not be getting the best care, it’s hard to see her like this.

TL;DR: sister with possible mental illness not seeing a psychiatrist for diagnosis as psychologist thinks getting life issues sorted is the primary concern",7.989436842105262,9.196254003333337,8.228561403508772,64.19068421052636,62.3,11.249122807017544,39.12280701754385,11.10113133989139,4.954233333333335,1371,70,204,37,19,449,169,300,0.227,0.7,0.073,-0.9952,1,0,1,0,1,1,23.0,0,1,1,5,7,18,0,4,19,0,25,14,0,2,4,44,54,15,0,6,10,3,3,2,0,1,14,1,0,2,13,10,0,3,8,0,1,6,8,10,0,3,5,9,26,8,39,45,9,33,0,5,5,0,32,17,0,8,11,156,39,4,0.1048171845356074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801848592724893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751797087050922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999916846373198,0.0,0.11443321810009928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068681053332051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175613852427906,0.08368799279975142,0.0,0.11513675537655599,0.0,0.0,0.0902788874503936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012957441280532,0.21456965971319406,0.09172622453765188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155465680763575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11689886792862518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599743581042367,0.0748814175757017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915744362010412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27381326375051523,0.0,0.11914004296910242,0.0,0.0,0.11556131598767495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938956091506862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074511032463592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21880381659138384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915096799090844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961419089996596,0.10241676368720133,0.0,0.0,0.09275990990957188,0.08802003612741323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111845721850617,0.3168932062409516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772061419943017,0.0808414744883186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205367386276962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908611929427323,0.11816562649252207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537022115891484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067148572410914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997051453871019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505771760447483,0.09542162814307936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781890708589875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24013546149047715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392717598076376,0.2014878585540152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911838567812003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648515458547308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104002548237276,0.0,0.0,0.10644693884312516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749883027454542
mentalhealth,LiquidxOce,2019/04/04,"What life was like in special intensity Psychiatric unit, part 1 My name is Isaiah Concepcion, this Monday I finished up group therapy which I was required to do after being admitted to Linden oaks Special Intensity Unit. I was admitted to this hospital four days after being discharged from an Amita hospital. This was the first time I'd ever been in places like this, were your mind is being evaluated nonstop and knowing what to say is damn near impossible. I'd like to begin by discussing what my personal journey felt like, what I didn't appreciate and ultimately why I felt this is a experience I needed. It all started about a month ago, and for various reasons I wasn't sleeping and I started having hallucinations, these hallucinations included a women dancing unnaturally in front of me. What I mean by unnatural is that her dancing was just slow and indescribable. I made my parents aware of these happenings but them being religious decided it was best to take me to a bunch of churches. One of these churches had to me that ""if I didn't make the right choice, I'd be going to hell"" This had only increased the paranoia I had before coming into the church. Anyway, it was only a day after that I got admitted into Amita, and if anyone has questions about the finer detail, feel free to. The moment I made it into this hospital it all just felt off, everyone just seemed strange to me and that never really subsided. They had kept me on antipsychotics the entire time I was there, but they had told me I was taking a mood stabilizer and anti depressant. This was the first instance that I had realized that I had to be dishonest to get out. I made a convincing argument that my delusions were made up. I told the clinical therapist I had made this up so that I can have a way to discuss my feelings and internal battle more susceptible to my parents who are strong believers in Christianity. This worked, I also had to keep up the same lie at Linden oaks. I'll continue this later, I wanted to put some of this out here and maybe make a video series truly detail how much goes on in these units. But it would almost have to be a book. I also can't say the exact names of the people in unit but I can give you mine and doctors as well.",7.559513529948312,7.160281550116551,8.407890949630081,68.00374277896019,63.335664335664326,11.563433667781494,35.202290463160026,11.030560184262038,3.996627161244552,1791,71,312,44,23,608,215,429,0.075,0.8270000000000001,0.097,0.6674,2,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,3,6,14,16,3,0,23,0,47,4,1,9,5,66,82,22,0,5,9,2,5,4,0,1,3,2,0,2,37,17,0,3,15,4,1,8,5,4,1,4,37,7,45,12,54,37,11,53,5,1,0,0,25,22,2,6,26,250,82,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834359387510801,0.0,0.0997962430016575,0.0,0.0,0.15939796698422207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06968539143177363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480429596502459,0.11228398494571837,0.1045882254909622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584925380099268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854639049963454,0.0,0.08583800013768411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200740726963667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014921344447158,0.0,0.09523049713323363,0.0,0.09748772553775613,0.0,0.0,0.10078334111825214,0.0,0.2870709910991755,0.0,0.0,0.1695434419690491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206883610396993,0.0956040537157568,0.05663972670467881,0.0,0.07970812371776102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813002342458329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858340687655805,0.0,0.0,0.05477116019389272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039361567081424,0.1947576099741761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4715089364220042,0.13304917941329408,0.0,0.1001230178351193,0.10856020608010383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062934857711213,0.0,0.07954857695492956,0.0,0.07326241042672803,0.07389747792380992,0.07686482071538447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753297266368666,0.15159358685536914,0.0,0.0,0.22132381995806896,0.10792331062189604,0.0,0.0690924910316102,0.08702026971585436,0.10412468713833983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018697963371173,0.11164329350507904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638454829322135,0.10246825796874877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511007525802004,0.0,0.1585090888827564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072776549427863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973312139229662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108134602920144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986555957898945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397120749678233,0.11571427340174115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622643289289533,0.0,0.0,0.19046099426646726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05878272681095524,0.07910637988503265,0.0,0.0,0.08960734024857094,0.0,0.08992868414165897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255450219555913,0.0,0.0,0.07079641962647326,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,turtletechy,2019/04/04,"In US, need help deciphering system and finding a therapist/psychologist To preface this question: I live in the US, am autistic, and was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety as a teen. I'm living on my own now and working, but still can be on my parents insurance which nets me a kickback from my work (same type of insurance at my work anyway). 

The last 5 or so days have really been a reminder that I need to get some help. Extremely good feeling and unexpected days came first, and then were followed by a stretch of really bad days where I didn't want to do anything. I also had to catch myself on a few of those days as I was starting to behave in risky ways when driving. 

I want to seek out help, but I have no idea how to make it happen. I tried looking things up through my insurance website, but I don't really know what I need. The options they have are Psychiatrist, Psychologist, and Counselors. When I looked at psychologists in the area, it showed hundreds and said they all are accepting new patients. This can't be accurate. 

The things I need help with is figuring out what kind of person I need, what to look for in a person, and how to even get an appointment. I have really bad anxiety with phone calls, so that just makes this even worse. 

If anyone has any tips or answers to some of these questions, I'd highly appreciate it. Thanks!",7.250575774035852,6.702532908745249,7.529584464964696,74.53860266159698,64.0190114068441,11.316567083107008,35.51575230852797,10.7630783206399,3.7139181966322656,1077,44,206,25,14,352,153,263,0.102,0.7859999999999999,0.112,0.7131,3,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,2,0,2,4,14,7,0,0,13,0,21,2,0,4,1,47,44,25,0,8,7,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,16,15,0,0,9,1,0,4,4,3,0,1,8,5,25,4,37,34,6,36,0,1,3,0,16,17,0,8,13,150,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085626913873556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875710958510982,0.0,0.1546951419849932,0.0,0.0,0.07069727263464222,0.0,0.08320351401920817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884241056087876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032428765338462,0.11564095700733215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260825950134741,0.0,0.08708442865084236,0.10262279384933906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356215410738395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112339327994698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241115236364986,0.08600266636972836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564982491100497,0.0,0.0,0.08480484305741086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940973373802849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710830426989696,0.10682646774745312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413896115543065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528873308720864,0.055566476203759235,0.0824167573676479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785609585123767,0.0,0.2547165158695872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498114766286928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3748526080180673,0.0,0.0976510239612831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226879923201308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656773124005898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22652886628284435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25909025812207953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961771446768874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715649735113707,0.0,0.0807452171476034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308693619103643,0.0,0.11739452654738733,0.13434372058151225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864589721318058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24324166598589525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192725872145115,0.08025506050787191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208241347519244,0.0,0.10303799327660253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Your_Pal_Kindred,2019/04/04,"Why can't I feel empathy? For as long as I can remember I've never really been able to empathise with others, not even family or friends. I can feign empathy and act like I care, though I never really do feel bad for them or anyone else no matter how badly I want to. 

I know that not being able to feel sorry or bad for other people is not normal, but no matter how much I try, I can only fake it. I do care about my friends, but I feel like it's not in the way that other people would. Whenever I've lost a friend, I've always felt more like ""That's a shame, life goes on"" rather than being sad or upset. With the exception of one friend who I had grown very fond of but recently lost. Losing them sent me into a tailspin of sadness that I haven't recovered from. 

​

**To sum up;** I can't feel empathy for others, and almost never care about losing friends or family. Any idea why this is?

​

If you need to ask questions to give me an informed answer, ask away. I'll answer most any question you have (with the exception of very personal questions). 

​

If this is the incorrect sub to ask this please let me know of another sub where this question is more appropriate. ",3.2856243118255932,4.8498335104602575,4.670601189165385,83.98117595243339,73.72803347280335,7.87676723188725,23.876018498128172,8.532816995589336,1.5386184100418407,935,27,185,17,19,311,123,239,0.151,0.66,0.189,0.8848,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,2,2,4,8,24,0,2,8,0,19,1,0,2,3,53,39,17,0,7,17,0,6,3,5,1,1,0,0,1,15,6,0,0,17,0,0,3,12,12,0,1,6,6,22,12,32,29,4,15,0,6,0,0,21,6,0,13,8,128,37,0,0.15653558383462446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837388784606962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512507277728888,0.25440935952740923,0.2853118020487977,0.10644956484143776,0.08207060411979418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05472665992538996,0.08019460207901873,0.0,0.0,0.21950946020223214,0.0,0.0735351669244749,0.0,0.19605101100930986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393976904037693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538269704321359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169513840025887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475678171290863,0.0,0.19787273638705224,0.055914526184372135,0.0751493542694226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023475094183154,0.0,0.0,0.07508159784556111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835481028627037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602786311632925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003412004059295,0.055282856084793636,0.11471306901576794,0.0,0.0,0.06926453290304388,0.0,0.17512327805929787,0.1708770810689918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753583266678425,0.05803457597909665,0.18109483854885414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668581825326204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303628138954648,0.05952618263489533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852206416281727,0.06834041697272937,0.0,0.08591453214841117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35071135749218835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028070332716524,0.0,0.07728000222157393,0.0,0.08866215084812709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761438517292734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768977081714744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531386930790618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915825039610548,0.046164371521395235,0.062125330158121835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412490168581986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05559919376540401,0.0,0.2853118020487977,0.0
mentalhealth,graceyunderfire,2019/04/04,"I really need help, 10 years on Klonopin. Please. So I’m extremely afraid of withdrawing. I was on 4mg a day at one point. Now I’m down to 2. It’s taken three years. I know, long. Better safe than sorry. 

So yeah I am sorry right now because my insurance isn’t active for this month because I forgot to pay the bill for the first time in five years. Called 12 times. Supervisors, everything. Mass health connector won’t help. Will give insurance on the 1st of May. 

Here is my issue:
I have a psychiatrist appointment today and have never gone without insurance. I’m broke. I can’t be off the Klonopin or I fear I’ll have a seizure. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never abused it and don’t do stupid things like that. 

Please someone, should I call the office or go and act dumb? I’m really anxious. 

Thanks for any help. ",0.04305888223553112,2.410275149700599,1.891414670658684,93.89564496007984,93.91017964071855,5.657584830339322,17.73677644710579,7.1686216300943375,0.3550800399201597,638,18,139,12,24,209,106,167,0.094,0.7020000000000001,0.204,0.9587,0,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,0,0,0,2,5,9,2,2,8,1,17,1,0,0,2,15,30,7,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,2,0,2,3,8,5,0,4,4,0,12,4,17,21,0,27,0,1,0,0,6,10,1,3,15,76,18,1,0.0,0.16999199806154072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975665334628387,0.0,0.0,0.1620836081170975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491957086849455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689017490902071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29300386909576176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252819070403796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894424626969406,0.0,0.0,0.1614469691237494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203802744018526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376323377094868,0.08153899014332902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250504857831804,0.0,0.0,0.2885007046866713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974849596952458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576979745850219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009364170674416,0.0,0.0,0.12696905576530956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451874875851123,0.0,0.0,0.10638338273529598,0.22131038489501584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722099156808213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149804543884455,0.13562832282294482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18382490546430533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252512487826706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156417437431045,0.0,0.0,0.3212124673514071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209062640414926,0.0,0.0,0.09531706021915837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732047482258108,0.0,0.13599559129399375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830281468046002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27717564905712216
mentalhealth,mindselfindulgence,2019/04/04,"What's the harm in talking? I'm someone who has dealt with anxious and depressive thoughts since I can remember. 

I spent years telling my self it was nothing more than sadness and worry, that I just needed to man up and get on with it. somehow, my 'no light at the end of the tunnel' view on life changed when I gave my self sometime to step back and look at it all from another perspective. But now, I have too many questions again. 

​

What is having low mental health in such a depressive world? who can I blame my mental health on? why do we hide how shit we feel so much from each other almost on an automatic basis? 

​

I knew i wasn't the only one that is swimming in a pool of their own thoughts, whether sad, worrying or just curious!! I wanted to talk more and share more!!  I started a podcast as a way of motivating my self to learn and share my findings on such a basic and general level. I want to create an audio hug space that embraces your tired little brain whilst giving it a path to find some answers. 

​

I am looking for questions,topics, stories and guests to integrate plans for future episodes. please send your thoughts away here or contact me on  [http://mindfulselfindulgence.co.uk/](http://mindfulselfindulgence.co.uk/) or [facebook.com/mindfulselfindulgencepodcast](https://facebook.com/mindfulselfindulgencepodcast). 

​

Cheers, 

Omar ",8.04333748753739,10.196518114406784,6.574117647058826,72.65542871385843,62.771186440677965,7.756331006979064,31.678963110668,8.124751697461798,2.2984599202392824,1129,42,182,13,17,335,154,236,0.14300000000000002,0.75,0.107,-0.8757,0,0,0,0,0,0,67.0,2,2,1,2,13,11,1,0,12,0,11,7,2,2,1,41,27,17,0,3,7,0,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,4,12,13,0,0,12,2,1,3,2,7,0,1,8,6,24,4,31,19,8,31,0,5,3,1,22,18,1,7,9,126,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651566745627004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744511707754082,0.4199347795681382,0.0,0.09059641277345892,0.0,0.09760576899054013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117428167496762,0.06643515179053253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964493553777514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139820973005797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488298888145478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765234707420128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043685702803329535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793341869015307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04513967634163614,0.08288136176235028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18367523667997884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102585088618511,0.0,0.08659404468934223,0.0,0.0,0.14510604373025288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759456878577092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413883423866808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351287530351518,0.0640634299810987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290173878792094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058545893408110075,0.06570999044856066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483966276640078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967861490982957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787271461892763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703975910331271,0.0,0.08868686986732216,0.07146977327551254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320521093615176,0.0,0.0854503750326907,0.0,0.06115333829321928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388877633430589,0.07551614076197248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057723933699216,0.0,0.0993024233424837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192020645235926,0.06857914737019892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796125282843057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754838425692431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199347795681382,0.055637833432498895
mentalhealth,havenoahnung,2019/04/04,"Intense, frequent mood swings Hello there.
Deep down I know what I'm saying will boil down to the fact I need to ask for help from my therapist but I would still appreciate some advice on this.

For about 3-4 months now, I've been having very instense mood swings. I'm in a good mood, have energy and am motivated for about 3-4 days and than the following 1-2 days I am always close to having a mental breakdown, I cry for hours and hours on end, am insecure and don't want to do anything. 
I have been going to a therapist since age 17 ( I'm 22 now) and I visit her once a month. Each time I go, I'm generally im such a good mood that I either don't feel like talking about these breakdowns (I feel like it's not relevant anymore) or when I do, it does not come through as anything serious. When I'm in a good mood it's very difficult for me to describe the feelings I had while having these breakdowns, it feels like I never even experienced them, if that makes any sense. 
I often think about suicide during these darker days but I don't feel like my therapist has picked up on it, probably due to the way I tell her about these things. 

On top of this I feel extremely guilty as my boyfriend has been dealing with this for so long and I'm scared I'll lose him over this. 

I'm not sure what I want to tell you guys with this, maybe I just want to know if any of you have had similar issues? How did you tell your therapist after all? 

Thanks in advance!



",3.1507224563515983,4.161416450331128,4.298735701384711,88.69254665863939,73.2384105960265,7.742564720048164,24.654425045153523,8.150884317080207,1.1872529801324505,1136,33,253,17,22,372,158,302,0.155,0.747,0.098,-0.9496,0,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,4,1,4,17,19,0,2,10,0,24,1,0,4,4,46,51,18,1,7,10,0,6,4,0,2,0,1,0,1,19,11,1,0,10,0,0,6,7,5,0,0,6,8,31,9,41,43,4,42,0,1,0,0,19,14,0,5,25,157,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400991581388517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004984383602796,0.0,0.0,0.13084470663258674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540900480122784,0.0,0.0,0.15833619895216286,0.0,0.08993821304333484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287165103078123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056761166653711,0.18613181495054068,0.09918260656868168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418919895573729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520862459816457,0.0,0.0,0.06354215941031068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29186328960630065,0.2749140322364684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935045927899932,0.2420752896207954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525757198461286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448384285102546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894840907172424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039173597583602,0.10041249457359504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574294529480953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18800262057935668,0.0,0.0,0.08513794773366702,0.0,0.10762821800322664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421724521816878,0.0,0.09665034262749468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695150004780344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153579014785285,0.0,0.0,0.07133441155764622,0.07419883478119703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245464383497148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372471348809943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650567312762703,0.09631747915342258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795813496447391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682903130609982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523209924700183,0.0,0.09067159484909523,0.0,0.0,0.0773255262289097,0.25226089826671977,0.08857217043254095,0.0,0.4468033190764261,0.06391398945319009,0.06164395368381045,0.0,0.0,0.05609761273860462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587575619254955,0.17023170524723544,0.07636264752326867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834091062822964,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Elexios,2019/04/04,"whats the name for this sort of anxiety is there a name for a long period of time usually lasting a few hours to a week which is like a very extended panic attack induced by high stress but also sometimes just nothing (at least i can think of) its exactly like a mega long panic attack usually my mind and heart are racing and im super anxious and afraid of how everything could go wrong., usually if it last a few days or more i start t o break with reality talking to myself and hearing/ believing stuff.

im guessing its just bad anxiety but is this a specific thing others have experienced?",12.276538461538458,7.008599880341882,12.155961538461545,60.007788461538475,58.74358974358975,16.144444444444446,46.344017094017104,13.427899808715575,5.9511555555555535,474,20,87,13,4,162,83,117,0.212,0.7070000000000001,0.081,-0.94,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,2,4,9,0,7,1,1,2,1,21,12,10,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,0,2,4,3,11,11,4,17,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,4,15,58,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519302386286958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20125650040043225,0.14860351212979514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992929970433912,0.0,0.0,0.1098309624744126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14820128677026598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502451902533384,0.0,0.0,0.08483284811689157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822026969415983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475759240293763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449068747089371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482558917755861,0.15587632371980462,0.0,0.13897993675249154,0.0,0.0,0.1295410601297887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841729856692748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444640018202293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285282510254153,0.0,0.0,0.2328187018751159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281857562493227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262168176426735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086692613717588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300970831334437,0.0,0.09310516112746002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506793896007914,0.0,0.1505825928679739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057274054499315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738977419740677,0.08428594802408658,0.0,0.0,0.07670242074046499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4346203822726783,0.10853482631498763,0.0,0.0,0.10551398864394497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14381906974729147,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dramaqueen2408,2019/04/04,"Mood/feelings disorders I grow up in an Asian country where they dont really know and care about mental health problems. I acknowledge that I have mood/feelings disorders and am finding ways to help myself out of this state but it doesn’t work sometimes. 
I dont even know that I am going in the right way or not. I wonder if anybody here who is therapist or psychologist could help me then?
Just half an hour ago I saw a child cry then I had a panic attack, couldn’t stop crying hardly for a while. 
Tried to talk to some doctors in my country but they all think that’s normal, some say that im just fucked myself up. 
Im so hopeless. ",2.7624735729386884,4.557530279069766,3.8022410147991534,88.68995771670191,75.66666666666667,6.551374207188162,23.35517970401691,7.348242739294969,0.8830093023255808,502,15,103,6,11,162,89,129,0.238,0.7070000000000001,0.055,-0.9823,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,2,1,7,6,2,1,6,0,10,3,0,0,1,25,18,11,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,7,3,0,1,6,0,0,2,5,5,0,1,2,3,14,1,12,14,3,19,0,1,1,1,8,8,1,6,6,70,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633211515966528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621328837324769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530488233988795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378768163910676,0.0,0.313094962071696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266720902587182,0.14587148832256924,0.0,0.0,0.3340561218074234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941306825908572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441210629751652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025733089037025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175403763142926,0.0,0.0,0.0809953066521509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766662604650275,0.0,0.0,0.15148817950638568,0.0,0.0,0.1910513649513667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034986349887668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078841543275242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566464802603633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362292629649615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963573056575518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721218992812367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636886712869378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129960134539497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170815513736448,0.0,0.11333469464067306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409522806211932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191500216041304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454921634978965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654724272783371,0.0,0.09131870071313168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675922352290478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22624563604755105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455286532397566,0.10375357538294802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Flake012,2019/04/04,"Feel like giving up. I'm at work where I have been treated like shit and I just found out something that pushed me over the edge. 

I'm tired of people's lies, I'm tired of being the 'happy' one when I'm going through so much.

I just wish my depression and anxiety would consume me whole. 

I'm ready to give up on everyone and everything.",2.1667619047619056,3.838581485714286,3.457142857142859,91.0561904761905,77.0,6.9523809523809526,23.095238095238088,7.793537801064563,0.9542380952380952,264,8,58,4,6,86,50,70,0.219,0.621,0.16,-0.6943,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,0,10,15,5,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,2,1,6,4,10,11,2,10,0,1,0,0,2,7,1,0,3,34,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909144050467444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17911858151218546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871795167460501,0.18690410461350346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515254940821292,0.1485691026614755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280211465141767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39899490810395183,0.1181903992207062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22138091850557107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032008363505838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287703596018462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092138970407178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417564443340616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21347145329369827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010039427333128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4780466975149571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321837220331801,0.2391476598095471,0.0,0.0,0.15139984033581794,0.0,0.0,0.14773124070103089,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SchizoidBartelby,2019/04/04,"Isolation: Is it An Escape or A Solution?  I often think about isolation. Yes, I am already isolated but is it  enough? And by the way, what am I talking about? Isolation from the  cold? Obviously not. I am talking about isolation from society. 

​

Please read my blog post and share your comments. I am confused. 

[https://mydepressiontreatment.com/isolation-is-it-an-escape-or-a-solution/](https://mydepressiontreatment.com/isolation-is-it-an-escape-or-a-solution/)",13.388218390804596,18.52700960344828,8.47086206896552,42.93951149425288,82.27586206896551,8.140229885057469,30.69540229885057,8.07648339933343,3.97847816091954,399,15,41,9,12,109,40,58,0.241,0.603,0.156,-0.7757,0,6,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,4,1,6,0,0,0,1,9,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,7,1,6,7,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,3,0,33,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041983971568604,0.0,0.0,0.2986782139759175,0.3349578789887425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28483115436786943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302592629426034,0.0,0.0,0.2640067162027749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27573526141522825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44313119932313577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176632222625043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188066039169396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349578789887425,0.0
mentalhealth,thea1007,2019/04/04,Am i alive yet? I feel totally empty ... I can hardly sleep at night but I'm totally tired .. all these thoughts keep me awake but at the same time I think nothing .. in me everything is burned out and I'm just a dead cover is holding on to life .. in my head is a gigantic war but at the same time also empty and foggy ... I am sad but feel somehow not at all ... do I still live?,-0.44168055555555696,1.523603637499999,2.184166666666666,95.23527777777781,87.625,5.555555555555557,18.88888888888889,6.937597516519254,0.1370972222222222,281,8,67,4,9,97,52,80,0.255,0.726,0.019,-0.9763,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,4,0,7,4,2,0,4,22,14,7,2,0,6,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,9,0,9,13,6,13,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,1,5,48,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171946118738286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440922852955996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746534233989719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432959844565575,0.0,0.27873506706739626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414063245476639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19183574700838368,0.0,0.0,0.2398235689886356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548737303494034,0.0,0.2606029536291957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717913785426065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168963060730702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402726050896308,0.0,0.2156162796727074,0.316738732108807,0.31215877017718985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,soraneku,2019/04/04,"How can I overcome low selfesteem I've been struggling with this since highschool, I used to be social, talked to girls and girls liked me,  I was not afraid of talk in public or have fun in parties, but I don't know what happened and my world turned around, I hate how I look, I try my best but I can't, I'm with my friends and we pass near a mirror and it ruins my day. I can't have fun in parties or with a group of people because I'm scared of what they think or how I look doing it. I still have some highscool subjects pendant to graduate for almost 3 years and I have no confidence to go, I'm scared of the future and I have anxiety for everything I said.
I feel like I'm not living because I'm missing so much for this, and I think I will never overcome it, because in my head i'm the worst, everyone is better way one or another. 
The worst part for me is the advices ""Learn to love yourself"" ""Achieve things"" ""Do exercise"" and I just can't, like the start button is broken (that sounded dumb) and I see no way out, I don't feel I'm the person that this made me if that makes any sense. I want to want to do things.
I will start going to therapist in a couple of months and I hope that is the answer.
If you read everything, thanks for opening the post and sorry for the trouble",4.966027060270607,4.2366939667896695,5.737918819188192,86.10323739237394,68.74169741697418,8.70268142681427,29.505781057810573,7.793537801064563,1.6405437146371464,999,31,224,10,15,328,136,271,0.16699999999999998,0.654,0.18,0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,1,1,3,7,23,2,4,12,0,23,3,1,6,1,48,55,23,0,5,11,0,2,3,1,2,1,2,0,3,14,18,0,0,7,2,0,3,10,12,0,1,4,7,34,11,30,48,6,25,0,3,3,1,14,11,1,9,11,150,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114633096865905,0.0,0.0,0.12414243520713485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430683081660212,0.12999794873469328,0.09484006266534101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036348380551927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22672089718150604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010346497939146,0.10964526593966177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717529531721884,0.0,0.07995322004981135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846283451681988,0.2228403607098308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253703447986853,0.0885673230555343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578229976729197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140914996218217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963013630290566,0.0,0.0,0.12239903543019195,0.12723348223102812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313453415710746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813307797045022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18170286212764064,0.0,0.10947165035434646,0.0,0.2082145137590461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189171976449667,0.11730755753677324,0.08275386245954665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895516868589037,0.0,0.0911354352224216,0.0,0.0956166859428683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400824952005144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425217416246513,0.0,0.0859482264382313,0.10824964818293234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873318798129165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240079309252845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792802684152068,0.0,0.24823996716874036,0.0,0.09879153119513998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255288965560563,0.0,0.0,0.12637626967798374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877917037758056,0.1754994109154452,0.0,0.0990061013673998,0.0,0.0,0.12960494147375046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992918238837444,0.0,0.11413895418304636,0.0,0.14394381247476173,0.1647261409137423,0.15887555585051558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417046728006711,0.1348485271463702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707406096198653,0.0,0.0,0.14624660478063325,0.19681018731708275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983543715305155
mentalhealth,EggMcFlurry,2019/04/04,"They took my brother away, so what happens next? He was violent to my parents today and has been threatening suicide for a long time now, so a police officer calmly took him away in handcuffs to the hospital.  What do you think will happen?  Do they just call us to come get him after a day, and then we wait and see how long it takes for him to break again?",5.7558333333333325,5.258216250000004,6.18,82.81500000000003,67.05555555555556,9.422222222222222,30.5,8.841846274778883,2.196683333333333,278,9,58,4,4,90,54,72,0.154,0.813,0.032,-0.8951,1,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,2,1,2,0,6,2,1,0,4,0,6,0,0,1,0,9,16,7,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,4,1,10,1,10,11,0,17,0,0,1,0,12,3,0,0,10,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753669945523377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20397990461318868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720777539303538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883032276732212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436769068848048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3532987373399023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535671520483564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124497447132687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218126782904556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591848938994407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21850781364394692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019658146154982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799977991698114,0.0,0.0,0.11648315293402794,0.0,0.1893515455995342,0.0,0.4438871001817338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402897589234169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,laarkem,2019/04/04,"Is there anything I can do to improve my anxiety in my school situation? I’m 15 (F) and recently school has been giving me a lot of anxiety. Just the thought of it makes me feel like crying— my chest is tight, I feel like I can’t breathe, and I‘ve recently felt like self harming again. Realistically, there are no decipherable triggers other than, well, the school atmosphere in itself. I have caring friends, good relationships with my peers and teachers and while I’m not a genius, I’m certainly not failing of my classes. 

Recently, I’ve been getting frequent anxiety attacks during my classes. There’s really nothing I can do but hastily excuse myself and continue to panic in the washroom. It’s come to the point where I’ve in the moment— considered dropping out, though 1.) I’m aware it would likely ruin my future and 2.) at my age, it’s very illegal here. I kind of feel like I’m stuck right now. At the moment I’m taking 100mg Zoloft for my anxiety, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. 

I had been working at a fast-food restaurant for about the past month in order to finally receive some finances and to build responsibility, but my crippling anxiety caused me to abruptly quit 20 minutes prior to an evening shift about a week ago. It’s really affecting my life negatively and I don’t know what to do or how to manage without harming myself further/making it worse. My anxiety attacks at this point are coming at random and I feel like I’m powerless against them. 

I’ll take any advice I can get. ",5.251494845360824,6.3923085395189005,6.3855309278350525,75.19664690721652,68.41580756013745,9.256426116838488,33.450343642611685,9.516144504307137,3.255526323024055,1199,55,215,25,20,402,165,291,0.171,0.7340000000000001,0.095,-0.9801,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,3,14,19,2,1,12,0,21,4,2,5,1,40,46,16,0,1,8,0,6,6,1,1,2,0,0,1,11,13,0,1,8,0,1,3,8,7,1,0,7,6,28,12,33,37,2,38,0,2,0,0,8,15,0,5,24,137,39,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939808826760069,0.08525314029171722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540214889224183,0.0,0.441440664248053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914364994511705,0.0,0.0,0.21882539471892992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805659870047848,0.09879799240569254,0.0,0.16569211545960147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352253564765467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19451543552935044,0.27482913037336715,0.09234287175162537,0.10535477133914638,0.0,0.0,0.116294926653089,0.0,0.0743043970452292,0.0,0.1004947069614051,0.09225961324834456,0.0,0.08066684312199665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446392826771574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001512343901146,0.05285514431925012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793109187870715,0.2819168394283476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176435936154956,0.0,0.0,0.06419741296836362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676579244367744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922822959897755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284038321064208,0.0,0.0,0.09180971064105843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818325085137896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229371772865478,0.0,0.0,0.12322405450489787,0.0,0.284882980172823,0.10325572213195801,0.0,0.08213273728107913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29200203797435376,0.0,0.08755390833400488,0.10033127127556712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810448314237414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462293206847054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944912337930982,0.07635203309814617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793542663668953,0.0,0.0,0.0771456079543101,0.0,0.0864726780323065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927090566499707,0.0,0.07001638583119217,0.0,0.09801031803834816,0.06831980486439804,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SoCalledNick,2019/04/04,"Poor week Ummm, idk really how to start this, I’m 17 and I’m high school. My parents are semi recently divorced and it’s was really very messy. I live with my dad and his girlfriend and honestly there’s a lot of yelling which I really don’t like. A while back I asked him to take me to a therapist for about 6 weeks straight and he told me he’d look into it and then would never bring it up again. I gave up with him. I haven’t been able to sleep for about 5 nights now and I just don’t know what to do.

And I think I’m hurting my girlfriend these past few days because I’ve been really on edge and kinda rude. I know it’s high school but we’ve been dating for awhile and she’s really been here for me. So that’s also bugging me I guess",-0.4388085243784303,1.6003957423312904,1.7275686147885057,97.95681627381336,88.50920245398773,5.394769131417501,15.940910558605099,6.8360192770164,-0.3647104294478529,578,12,141,8,19,193,98,163,0.064,0.899,0.038,-0.3919,1,0,0,0,2,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,11,4,1,0,3,0,12,1,1,1,1,24,26,16,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,9,13,0,0,3,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,7,2,21,2,18,17,2,22,0,1,1,0,14,7,0,3,15,87,30,2,0.15463160864965148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365884157026485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144559680354629,0.0,0.0,0.11890216221200985,0.0,0.09426199339412593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972459522521483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034415024929822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267535688055837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553633522645167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16996297629584173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755451932419689,0.0,0.13654254342004088,0.0,0.12985160629990655,0.0,0.0,0.1314622639952797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926142932690464,0.0,0.0,0.1451112896852532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170010198831295,0.0,0.14761336738731742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.495304840348003,0.0,0.15268005864526482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31299088668206976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547432817481137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094490484867452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626372556339908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953921587244082,0.0,0.09908169107199744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775712865675064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758727146809054,0.0,0.0,0.2480722984478029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984585818711998,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_721dream127_,2019/04/04,"Can I get some advice please? Hi I’m a high school junior, and I feel horrible everyday. In so many ways I’m so fortunate, I have super kind and understanding parents who can financially support me so I have a roof over my head. And that’s why I think my problems are so BS bc they’re all created by me. Ever since I did poorly last school year (3.3 and 3.5) from my 3.8, 4.0 freshman year, it has impacted me so much. I go to a very academically oreintated high school and tried very hard to do well last year. But I couldn’t. I guess I didn’t study as much as I could of and I don’t want to acknowledge that I put an extremely large amount of effort bc that would classify me as stupid. I immediately felt discouraged and demotivated to do anything. Bc from middle school, I lost all my friends and realized how untalented and how little passion I had for anything. I didn’t do anything besides play on my phone and at the time spend time with friends. So my grades were my silver lining. As long as my grades were good that meant I had something I was okay at. Freshman year  a lot of things were good I made friends I joined a sports team and finally felt at peace. But then sophomore year, I lost all of that and realized the only topic I ever talked to my friends about was school and our classes. We never rlly talked about anything else besides superficial topics. From sophomore summer, I cried every week. Mind u it wasn’t just my grades, I felt horrible about my personality and my general worthy as a human being. Ppl always tell me I’m quiet but I didn’t realize what they rlly meant till members of my own family called me mute and said that I didn’t have any chance of forming any relationships with anyone bc I didn’t have a personality. That may sound dumb right like why do you care so much about what these ppl say but they’re my family and their opinion matters to me. Going onwards, To the present, just feel so confused  and don’t know what to do anyone. I’m constantly afraid of getting older bc I don’t want to make any more regrets or accept responsibility. I’m always unhappy and regretful and wishing that I did more last year so I don’t feel that I can’t get into any colleges and basically ruined my future. I just want to feel okay and not have to overthink everything I say to anyone bc I’m worried that they might think I’m stupid or weird or just not enough. I always find my self quiet and left out and I know it’s my own fault bc I don’t do enough. I just feel that I’m never enough and I’m trying so hard to move on but it’s so hard to do so when everyone is talking about college and their futures and I’m. So afraid and I rlly need some advice on how to feel okay and look forward to my days and to stop crying and worrying my parents. Bc that’s the only thing I feel that I’m good at these days. I’m constantly worried all the time so please help me. For anyone who’s even taken the time to read this far thank you I’m just trying to blow some steam here.",2.0433966078849832,4.10014816612378,3.663376389980908,87.65319218241044,78.73941368078177,6.64490621138942,22.63832416039537,7.691903868010439,0.9720007637874879,2370,74,498,37,58,787,250,614,0.114,0.765,0.121,-0.6687,2,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,2,2,4,5,34,35,3,3,14,3,44,2,1,5,8,112,95,64,0,11,16,2,13,1,4,3,0,6,0,4,27,35,0,2,23,4,2,5,17,15,1,0,25,20,75,20,57,64,20,58,0,6,1,1,33,19,1,12,36,308,102,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892915462948316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190302278041426,0.0,0.0,0.16552775537384198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17019855722380692,0.0,0.20030642646150626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213743463805822,0.0,0.0620434074315606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152035198280626,0.0,0.04858594824167044,0.0,0.13368771911699706,0.07848994512998546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05083464219873512,0.0,0.0,0.18863139161534714,0.0,0.04019265008683235,0.11008954493806712,0.05127104427202878,0.05814738527963564,0.05469050425349958,0.0,0.11473306429753807,0.0,0.21538275865036813,0.0,0.17528447319451482,0.06666118435353872,0.05561828701994238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880586535095106,0.0,0.0953791095859924,0.0,0.06916801045829835,0.15312113249992013,0.0,0.0,0.0670361357500943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635362632211048,0.0,0.06245245052537406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040788297974415334,0.1285884872666423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633687474620643,0.0668861310164365,0.14880927515616196,0.0,0.0,0.06611666235055849,0.0,0.0,0.029729567009047306,0.06099041572953475,0.0,0.05385274554920212,0.05110096175623852,0.0,0.13285587271453905,0.051734809574058786,0.0,0.05758031852036503,0.0406196655975678,0.06169511061712803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455512336740718,0.06144390377344874,0.0,0.0,0.06467681489751646,0.1342012611665056,0.045121523560015024,0.09386674393465523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925624770021795,0.0,0.0,0.13513949646464013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626850226826652,0.0,0.13359603378091378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05822783823915125,0.0,0.06117379495156933,0.0,0.0,0.06086919130927217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533305175556553,0.0,0.051967893544470366,0.057884875370321325,0.09678505666829212,0.0,0.3079310257712834,0.0,0.0,0.06348266230293044,0.0,0.0,0.050338001877692565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04684739969782335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050875601816133785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905494971510454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467333427447748,0.053187962704433316,0.05602501215985966,0.0,0.0,0.08085569132637074,0.07798393644079586,0.0,0.0,0.1419348502118109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394501473977768,0.0,0.0,0.0633498314561981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041974012728724,0.107677539230382,0.04830205961034472,0.048812384370837326,0.0,0.0547139067228361,0.0,0.10982023620353112,0.0,0.06997762907922551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539668433050407,0.0,0.04322802896513153,0.0,0.0,0.2351229535596248
mentalhealth,me_aninsect,2019/04/04,"Having problems Background: (16f) got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety a couple months ago. Usually I’m very angry and mean and isolate myself from everyone. While on meds I was the complete opposite from how I usual am. I was chill, outgoing, friendly, calm and nice. 

So recently my best friend (doesn’t know about my illness) brought up with me how I’ve been different lately. I got excited and asked how so, thinking it would be something good. She says I used to be very controlling and bossy before. I was really surprised because I didn’t realize this. She said that for the littlest things I also want everything to happen my way and because of this sometimes people are intimidated or scared by me. I didn’t take her too seriously because when I said to her that I have to change she told me no it’s kind of a good thing you’re like that. You can get people to listen to you. And it’s apart of your personality so you shouldn’t try to change it. Since she said that too me I didn’t think it was too serious, until my family told me. My family members recently also told me that sometimes they get scared of me and how I’ll react so they don’t do certain things; like make jokes, be late to pick me up,etc. This hurt me a lot because it’s sad that people have been scared of me since I was 12. I was still considered a kid and I obviously looked like one. This means that there is something very wrong with me since people were scared of a kid. The problem now is that I’ve had to stop taking my meds so I’m starting to act like I used to before. I’m trying to control myself but it’s hard.
Q1: is being controlling apart of my personality and would that be my illness?
Q2: should I talk to my therapist about this?
O3: has anyone else with bipolar disorder or anxiety had problems with being too controlling?
O4: has anyone in general had problems with people being scared of them?
",2.9749458823529444,5.098738357333335,4.350403921568628,83.51694705882355,76.09333333333333,7.6117647058823525,25.696078431372552,8.4952907291091,1.8818643137254905,1504,55,291,30,34,497,174,375,0.146,0.774,0.08,-0.9741,1,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,4,3,5,21,30,0,5,8,0,40,5,0,13,2,53,70,28,0,9,3,0,1,4,2,4,5,5,0,4,24,17,0,5,6,1,0,2,7,14,0,1,24,7,52,16,37,35,2,23,0,2,1,0,29,5,0,3,19,199,76,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034500964183352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888024170886476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415546394808968,0.0,0.0,0.09520023882637596,0.06975160991843016,0.0,0.0,0.0636415994946253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659932843359219,0.0,0.11585483073991724,0.0,0.0714412579207137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440301497559045,0.0,0.0713760869534814,0.0,0.3054107903521379,0.0,0.07532447851915268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909541287381846,0.0,0.07112462798603049,0.15604132339164814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05686852059044389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592241187788536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504925841963953,0.06118205878351374,0.0,0.12835144199306697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519024966780294,0.0,0.07113349771971282,0.0,0.0,0.11419735177652092,0.10889272856797436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06019912570921535,0.0,0.06098246490989075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287645574786668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089037640411898,0.037412629994059365,0.0,0.15358473255689506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303341347338574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057166451264969165,0.0,0.0,0.057875534404337015,0.0,0.0,0.045441065177197364,0.0,0.0,0.1483088109792,0.15123353493091332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433738240404466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04612986304692452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23597562961809704,0.11888216869379124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605570433559658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043611043134362544,0.0,0.13443310222160024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19426676875209545,0.05413653711253033,0.340778309085401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893879286522792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481601518543636,0.13465723616475966,0.0,0.048184338065591324,0.0,0.05436535010526528,0.05691434195840605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236892389229668,0.05471667719927098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904114648083525,0.1356794308418296,0.08724033264303402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514777525891852,0.0,0.09243787724200543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759111268889255,0.14995155424988754,0.168508771148322,0.040152817658687584,0.054035330095823605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671806268163548,0.07443010240318998,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Magic_8_Ball_Of_Fun,2019/04/04,"I feel discarded I’ve never really done this before, but I feel so lost and I guess there’s no reason not to try so here goes.. sorry if it just seems like a rant but I’m so tired of life that I need to share with someone.

I have anxiety and major depression, and this makes it pretty difficult to engage with people and want to share with them. So when I find people who I connect with, I get happy and feel like maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But inevitably, eventually the friendship/relationship slowly turns into the occasional “what’s up” text or the like. I try to engage with them and help them if they need it or just talk to them about whatever, but no one seems to want to do the same for me after a while.

I feel stupid talking about my issues now because everyone I’ve talked to about them isn’t a part of my life anymore, and it feels like they aren’t because they think it’s too much work to give a shit about me. I don’t need someone to constantly ask about my mental health or how I’m doing or whatnot, but I’d really like if people would try and be closer than “Snapchat streaks”. I miss having people I can go to to talk about how I’m feeling if I’m down, but it just feels like no one gives a shit anymore about how I’m doing. 

My family sucks (dad is a raging narcissist and mom doesn’t know how to be a parent) so I try and find emotional outlets in friends. But I’ve been rejected and let down and hurt so many times that I feel stupid trying anymore. I don’t like to share any of this anymore because it just makes me more attached to them for me to inevitably be let down. I get that my issues are my issues, but I just want someone to care sometimes.

I see a therapist, I’m on meds, and yet I just feel so god damn empty all the time. I crave emotional connection and no one wants that with me.

I can’t keep typing right now. I’ll try and come back later when I’m less upset. I guess I just feel lost and want to know why I should keep trying or something ",4.520357142857144,4.3474931785714315,5.431047619047618,86.04728571428574,69.5952380952381,8.529523809523809,26.323809523809523,8.109356740369918,1.3429123809523804,1565,40,347,19,25,515,179,420,0.18600000000000005,0.659,0.155,-0.968,2,1,1,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,9,3,35,30,7,1,16,0,24,6,2,7,2,90,74,47,0,14,25,3,10,7,1,2,4,0,0,0,16,24,0,2,18,0,0,2,12,15,0,3,4,12,45,15,48,63,7,26,0,6,1,0,25,10,4,13,21,226,61,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04591755384962418,0.0,0.05165445839152518,0.0,0.26785634533928393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312433795510979,0.0,0.0,0.05192056493658298,0.0,0.12348310219148732,0.0,0.057456597158405814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884359653929215,0.0,0.0,0.05816457687506426,0.0,0.07296773681069775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05815695229435265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909886811940799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190724466574304,0.05980481303573365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452055581282765,0.0,0.0,0.06365411826332455,0.0,0.3414135902559597,0.1447140683499173,0.0,0.0,0.123428517881812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05216764602352222,0.0,0.07055534407753841,0.12954729565403886,0.03837454132954651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876709304605734,0.0,0.0,0.07187886040473469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07177316372628588,0.0,0.0,0.045258847724837896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228413581885924,0.0,0.0,0.21142755769425328,0.0,0.12003403992469132,0.0,0.0,0.07421710071048504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380924768361534,0.09538614930049537,0.23091626988757336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474173724117979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09014346521972072,0.06845712509355206,0.06783533589393748,0.0,0.07500217503121602,0.0,0.06804670725805495,0.0,0.0,0.0790814298375138,0.0,0.0,0.049636740153805016,0.15020103304112026,0.052077444771410665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13726479635586056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497564492567046,0.07312018939419279,0.0,0.1872461473183503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869456512741892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651316897278366,0.06942428272810786,0.0,0.07249379816384645,0.0,0.057663768710944474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380661815420018,0.12293973114845533,0.0,0.0,0.13862156589893673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163455515646328,0.05198204962017162,0.06678138946274581,0.07558580920780905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21708781996273527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839872162919083,0.0,0.04326563352277275,0.0,0.0,0.07874571987060346,0.07760707668388621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32090298597531797,0.07344499190410345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19913233261453064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609284720651866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915711824785623,0.0,0.0,0.04796598234142948,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,alkaseltzerelsa,2019/04/04,"how can i stop worrying about everything? I'm in my junior year of college studying business management, I currently work in a restaurant with people I really enjoy being around, and I'm in a long term relationship with a man that I love very much. I have good grades, I like my job, my home life is great, and my boyfriend is loving and supportive. Basically, everything is going great. But recently I've been in a really dark head space. I'm paranoid about the safety of my loved ones all day long. I've developed an almost paralyzing fear of car accidents and I'm worried about everyone's health. I'm paranoid that I'll lose one of my parents, my brother, or my boyfriend in an untimely accident and my paranoia just keeps getting worse. I think of everything that could go wrong in my head and it makes me feel drained, which in turn has made me start missing classes and calling out of work more often. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm paranoid, and I know that's true, but there doesn't seem to be anything that I or anyone else can say to make me stop feeling so scared all the time. The females in my mom's family have a long history of anxiety and depression, but I have never been tested. I'm almost certain I have depression and anxiety, but it's never been this bad before. I try to do all of the things I normally do so that I don't let my anxieties stop me from living, but it keeps getting worse and I don't know what to do. ",6.329516550522647,6.00767305574913,7.02931837979094,76.61450021777006,65.82926829268294,10.938066202090594,34.66223867595819,10.550175099000144,3.5615367595818817,1145,48,224,27,16,380,147,287,0.198,0.703,0.099,-0.9819,3,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,10,19,0,2,11,0,23,7,2,4,7,51,53,21,0,2,8,3,2,1,0,0,2,1,1,1,14,15,0,6,6,0,0,3,5,8,0,2,4,3,32,11,28,45,6,29,0,4,0,3,11,11,0,6,16,141,46,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479878381543025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21176878246698336,0.0,0.0,0.06452034264496352,0.09454593449461136,0.07593389438836454,0.08214369869120197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704519408186808,0.0,0.0,0.07851864100936172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942223868244579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367352765889497,0.0,0.0,0.059509295925602376,0.0,0.15895145501949706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708334515629449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17634411399703795,0.2487905983283893,0.0,0.08698800673673783,0.10383425190499823,0.09331332677122578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641903640138832,0.0,0.10488323303402464,0.07739531283326137,0.0,0.20346550382892112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894001252485888,0.09808327599341504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925586559555758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156801395961728,0.246052937935902,0.0,0.0,0.1014230945730429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435673317807368,0.06517607363295845,0.045080566636949815,0.0,0.08147990577918254,0.24497958045349666,0.0,0.10323134940903857,0.0,0.0,0.2498435006973449,0.08731218269153299,0.12318763614582845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807055598506417,0.0,0.0,0.06783223465647585,0.0,0.1423352719416323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904092315601811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505492030880075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245970070475773,0.0,0.0,0.06397138774657089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822657089191126,0.0,0.09110974851630252,0.09906807564219697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338023448622913,0.09238268113281099,0.0,0.0,0.08400306573342536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531223115485242,0.0,0.0,0.23143636338556686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471179285240273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806518136053285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130295102693301,0.05912565161579885,0.0,0.0,0.05380589188476776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264819906496766,0.10036795143567084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613596903540007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343535925079925,0.18741808067565408,0.1880708090681916,0.0,0.10088747190880024,0.0,0.05942162994724795
mentalhealth,elegant-bridgette,2019/04/05,"OCD Advice My OCD is absolutely destroying my life. Each day, I stress about the littlest things. I constantly want everything neat and tidy, in order, for everything to look similar. For example, every book to have a white bookcase. Or for my skincare products to all be from the same brand/collection. I know these things are idiotic to worry about but I can’t help myself.
I’ve been going to a therapist and taking medication for a long time now and it hasn’t helped much. I need advice.",2.7181225296442686,5.587041760869571,4.217470355731226,79.72199604743084,82.47826086956522,8.12806324110672,24.66798418972332,8.841846274778883,2.4991608695652183,390,15,69,11,11,129,67,92,0.097,0.8270000000000001,0.076,-0.2255,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,1,5,0,7,2,0,0,1,12,13,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,2,9,1,13,11,4,8,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,5,48,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113904208927335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274724525148265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575313666135913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735278240555974,0.0,0.3783622213371955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963028335399516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282183374185578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568363399396807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868024051246162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18628320134568016,0.1767644462824666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21205355966711475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473949873105874,0.15608084179616472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411235768053089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826753058784215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444032152084597,0.27968967735420586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274248049163515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415657125927053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137698986607037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rustypotgear444,2019/04/05,"I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but I feel like there's something more I feel like a lot of my thoughts aren't my own. It's like someone else trying to imitate my thoughts, they close but there's something off about them, they dont feel naturally mine. It's the worst mental health thing for me.

I feel like the part of my brain that would normally generate my natural thoughts it's not functioning correctly.

I feel distant compared to how other people seem to be. Actually 2 times in my life have I felt as close to reality and in the moment that I perceive others to be, one when I woke up and just felt that way until I got to school and one when i was at a friends house. One more maybe after I just worked out, but I'm not sure because it doesnt stick out in my mind like the others. I did normal stuff and it felt as if I was on autopilot. I played games, talked, walked, ate, etc. so incredibly easily. I got bored.

I know I can get over most of social anxiety, in the past 4 of 5 months I've went from not even being able to respond out of fear to at least saying something. I dont think I can really get rid of depression because I feel like the underlying reasons are cemented in my brain.  I remember saying I hated myself back in third grade to my teacher and that thought hasn't really changed since.

I dont get how I can stand up for myself and others yet I'm too, not really nervous but maybe?, to have a conversation. That's the thing, most people who can't really converse are just too nervous to be seen or heard, but I'm just too scared to have a 2 way conversation. I dont get why.

Why does it feel awkward to even think to myself. I feel like it shouldn't be awkward. Talking even to myself feels awkward sometimes too.

I'm not sure if my problem is that I doubt myself. I'm starting to think that maybe its that I dont doubt myself then when I fail I'm confused as to why and frustrated that I couldn't do something like talk to friend. Thing I dont get is how I was able to do those things I the past but not now.

I want to know why I feel the way I do. I've read up on anxiety and depression and none of them describe my core problem which I really dont know what my core problem is. I feel like there's something else.",3.9152549207217078,4.392606057203395,5.098064516129033,85.63080645161294,71.0550847457627,8.632695462001092,27.51394204483325,8.748949900417786,1.7855641607435762,1777,58,391,30,31,590,189,472,0.166,0.726,0.108,-0.9814,0,0,5,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,4,2,25,35,2,10,13,0,38,6,2,4,3,85,84,31,0,11,19,0,14,9,2,2,3,3,0,0,30,16,1,0,28,3,0,2,20,21,0,4,19,18,61,14,56,57,11,42,0,4,1,0,19,21,0,10,24,263,91,5,0.1109088670069276,0.0,0.05411552770117759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726746953407164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042641036366265775,0.0,0.0676090159085373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381097534428083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058663437651186076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328846695506786,0.05628508269936088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048528548459713966,0.0,0.454945281440927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265012686931356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184635207384294,0.10988139097745836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240165494162377,0.3084337057850943,0.23769995025116564,0.15973485773936147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568791552821227,0.0,0.14486326354111465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870395266325849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054749772317841484,0.0,0.05894546964796415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639869708082341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142891918433578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03916910636593088,0.24383011588344336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047145376295336584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713429611008435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05588502594953319,0.0,0.055993169556503436,0.0,0.0442631997563087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866714148463398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127320779418993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005174748915616,0.10587506315799834,0.07689024365390894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591872107339471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05546944026072944,0.0,0.17762765047121554,0.057016393564418524,0.0,0.0,0.06281906296367615,0.0,0.0,0.08819918259987371,0.05551956204110938,0.056122847276413326,0.0,0.05048363353868803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04587248044436916,0.0,0.0,0.05652881141529836,0.04698636155104633,0.21345766084730972,0.05484585270111877,0.0,0.03925093345615451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348205900449091,0.0,0.0,0.10453029460150266,0.0,0.0,0.13371651922043162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736584611351325,0.1065988855114043,0.0,0.17609850352567474,0.032335926128610845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03764992022423466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032708461655172286,0.13205144437090988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051406815431906255,0.2001560034060457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040371488049637055,0.0,0.0,0.03939323849543544,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,eco-1,2019/04/05,I cut myself I don't know why but it just helps me.,-4.050000000000002,-2.713140230769227,-0.34730769230769104,109.12980769230772,105.15384615384615,2.6,6.5,3.1291,-2.8066615384615385,39,0,12,0,2,14,12,13,0.12,0.618,0.263,0.431,0,0,0,0,0,1,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5357038379262283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4392332956871214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7211764763155679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bronthesecond,2019/04/05,"Scared I may be starting to show signs of psychosis and not sure what to do First post? So this is all relatively new to me but I am afraid I might be starting to relate to the initial signs of psychosis. I think I have been feeling this way for a while, but up until this point i didn't want to acknowledge it. 

​

I have been in counselling since January for what I feel is seasonal-affective depression, and although it has been nice to have somebody to talk to, I feel like counselling isn't really giving me the progress I need, and I feel like I am afraid to speak about deeper mental health issues because I have an underlying fear of sounding like I am seeking attention, which stops me from really talking to anyone.

​

For the last few months I feel like I have had moments where I question if I am even alive, or if I have died already and am just going through the motions of watching what the rest of my life would have been like. I have tried some of the grounding exercises people recommend when you are dissociating, but I dont know if this is what dissociating is. I'm starting to find in those moments that I am very sensitive to bright light and that it is really challenging for me to listen to others. I find this especially noticeable when I drive by myself/with others at night, and it is really confusing and upsetting as I drive alot. I have also been noticing that my mind seems to think it is difficult to breathe even if I am breathing normally.

​

I'm not really sure what the next step is because unfortunately I always have such extreme highs/lows that in the lows I don't feel like making an appointment with a professional but know that I should, and in the highs I just ignore it and sweep it under the rug. I am glad at the very least that I don't have suicidal tendencies, but I am getting to the point where I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone (my family or my boyfriend) about it for fear of sounding ridiculous. 

​

I think my next step is supposed to be a psych evaluation, but can anyone tell me if they have been in my situation before?",10.813108190709043,7.337464239608803,10.131942237163816,67.95116518948657,59.41564792176039,13.550183374083133,41.943918092909534,11.45678717892309,4.5818372860635685,1690,67,319,34,16,546,182,409,0.131,0.752,0.117,-0.6205,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,1,1,3,13,25,1,7,18,0,54,5,2,1,3,64,79,30,2,10,17,0,7,6,0,4,3,4,2,0,28,10,0,2,18,2,0,6,8,12,0,1,8,14,49,13,50,64,6,42,0,2,2,0,10,17,0,14,23,242,77,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024923464174225,0.05815481453437173,0.06050954887977422,0.3151719180607043,0.3534550303656876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525442673257318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865987540989101,0.0,0.06188006279969861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263433684198133,0.0,0.07547273139064922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852282609878051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606283326774276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855471835087099,0.1636622831481491,0.2573888259206278,0.2078070771183884,0.0,0.0,0.13293102647104565,0.061856293463297615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03799362769723029,0.06976043820087474,0.041328918606774206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772988324816911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683354037218355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590164399304464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993092316474726,0.05927717529256792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05136486670680387,0.21316632015125053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854171291592667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328548376842264,0.0771452994418679,0.07342729915489905,0.0,0.0580450657785998,0.0,0.0,0.05392156756481567,0.0,0.0702342223806533,0.15467883694198598,0.06824356456302612,0.07125096479891277,0.0,0.16558627412088084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05041546109629815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748936318366645,0.0,0.06964644493056801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146396281750526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23293410129551986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280622838876293,0.0,0.0,0.06620230452449889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06015541487014703,0.08174125004395046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441651486182106,0.0,0.0,0.060797862844337074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795447754545384,0.0,0.13707702695252752,0.0,0.0,0.1753507246779899,0.06356120313152479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397896978867417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049372664154566884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000458705505973,0.042892624544629485,0.057722403086295275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05165878500172641,0.0,0.3534550303656876,0.0
mentalhealth,stopbeeingloud,2019/04/05,"tips to help with adhd and depression? Hey guys, so recently, I was diagnosed with depression and I’ve had adhd for a while now. I was wondering if anyone had any tips to try and keep it under control? I’m 15 by the way and the combo of the two makes me do stupid things.",0.7552631578947349,2.8505097017543863,3.2272807017543883,88.84513157894737,83.56140350877193,7.308771929824562,20.026315789473685,8.344100000000001,1.1370842105263153,211,6,46,5,6,73,42,57,0.18,0.7759999999999999,0.044,-0.8577,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,4,0,5,1,0,2,0,11,9,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,4,0,3,0,8,5,0,5,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,2,3,31,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5473073185454337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15484522735220774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921459352129202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25538725239762744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39223894764177386,0.23111282514646256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22546086533550536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15262390911768553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20239207714562232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199291116394836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224828340662611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512751487250619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459477027046487,0.0,0.22243185252697428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807393179482614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469332001589096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ZineKitten,2019/04/05,"What could explain someone being uncomfortable about acting or “playing pretend”? There’s something odd to me about acting or performance in any capacity.

I’m almost 30, and whenever I’m asked to “role play” or “play pretend” I become incredibly uncomfortable. I’m an extremely social extroverted person, but when training for work requires “roleplaying a scene” I feel almost panicky.

I don’t like live theatre, or street buskers like magicians/mimes etc. I love comic conventions, but as soon as people remain in character and expect me to treat them as said character... I politely disengage. 

It’s even awkward for me to babysit any of my nieces or nephews, and entertain them. They’ll ask me to join them in an “adventure” and I just *can’t*.

It feels like these people are “lying” to me, and while intellectually, I know they’re not... it still weirds me out. It feels like I have no references to draw from, so if they try to engage/talk to me... I don’t know how to behave or anything. It will feel like no one is addressing the elephant in the room. It makes me so uncomfortable that my stomach will hurt from tension just thinking about it.

I wish I understood why. I’m someone who’s “artsy fartsy” so I’m not sure why there’s this incredibly visceral feeling. It actually holds me back, and makes me seem like a stick in the mud.",3.2538923076923076,5.935090100000004,4.585600000000003,79.31218461538462,78.0,7.8461538461538485,28.01538461538461,8.730908602173464,2.5951323076923085,1055,46,188,25,26,348,142,250,0.139,0.685,0.177,0.9108,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,5,3,16,18,0,2,7,0,11,2,1,3,1,43,34,24,0,4,13,1,5,6,0,3,0,1,2,1,13,7,0,2,12,7,0,2,7,4,0,1,2,6,28,14,27,27,1,15,1,1,0,1,15,8,0,10,11,120,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.12818404713547066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630671741946207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865252692378986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809440738685157,0.0,0.24559937410873114,0.0,0.0,0.10100429299444473,0.0,0.0,0.14507186067572356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487670066883016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649613606591302,0.08675908744801357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320865089258768,0.28152124650196675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061880956064174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437912596899008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3850420559515976,0.0,0.11598933783233994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855349254712708,0.0,0.17536166996079733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900990532931963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821307679233074,0.11469458049349275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494918730965596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195811393880614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339004188776128,0.22259422534107626,0.10112390296023464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049006943970886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380103067896425,0.0,0.0,0.10557859780524012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416731848472854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891817811575177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370558660789857,0.0,0.1510523746897244,0.0,0.0,0.09562838887314697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,filmschtick,2019/04/05,"A memoir to the boy who thought his 15th year would be his last      Anxiety is the creeping menace; I’m sure many of you agree. It isn’t there until it is because you don’t know it’s there. I know there’s a million people that can relate to that.
     I’m still a little afraid to give details here (this is the fourth time I’ve deleted and started again) so I’ll do this as a substitute. I’ll tell you a little about the situation, the outcome, and what my life is like nowadays. Any question or story you guys want to show is completely, 100% welcome. 
     When I was fifteen I hit one of three mental breaks. My grandfather passed and my former best-friend molded the situation to use and abuse me. It didn’t last too long, but the seeds were planted and I was destroyed. I still feel guilty every day for being too scared to visit my dying grandfather. Being too scared that my friend would hurt himself or someone else. I realize now it was a fake threat, I didn’t then.
     I had this ultimatum where I inevitably told my parents what was happening. I was put on a self-harm watch, pulled out of school (my personal request), and cut all ties with my friend (my personal doing). Not a day went by that I didn’t regret these actions.
     My counselor was one of the best women alive. With her help, I was facing down life once again. I was excited once again. I tried to make contact with my old friends and bam, second mental breakdown. 
     This time was one for medicine trials. To attempt and balance a theorized chemical imbalance in my brain. It worked, and I soon went back to school. Slow and steady wins the race I guess, and it took about a year for me to wish to reconnect with my friends. 
     The third mental breakdown is somewhat underwhelming (thank god). This friend was still in our group, but had his sights on someone else. The easiest way to balance the misery I was in around him was to get this other friend out. I’m not a hero, I’m not courageous by any means, but my coping method was to try and help. I saw myself in her shoes and I wanted to help so very badly.
     Fast forward to now. It’s going to be my 18th birthday in 8 days. I’m terrified to be an adult but, if I’m honest, I didn’t think I’d live this long. Thinking about it puts a lump in my throat and waters my eyes. Life really has never been better, though. I’ve become best friends with the friend I sort-of kind-of helped a tiny bit (they were so much more a help to themselves than I could ever be and it fills me with tons of pride), I patched up some old wounds with some old friends, and I’m seeking a career in film. I truly didn’t realize until writing this down, but I haven’t felt this alive in three years.
     So, with that out of the way, I wanna welcome any little thought, question, or personal story you may or may not have. You reading this far means the world to me. Things don’t always stay bad.",2.7161943533890245,4.463184293609674,3.5085227873532863,90.95438193930424,75.66666666666667,6.315477071657679,23.560713404532798,7.043009809895983,0.7155948045539455,2242,68,474,23,49,711,273,579,0.113,0.72,0.16699999999999998,0.9881,1,0,1,0,1,0,78.0,1,6,1,8,29,34,3,3,31,0,49,11,5,2,4,77,84,36,1,9,14,1,2,1,9,4,5,0,0,7,31,28,1,0,14,3,0,12,14,11,0,8,31,6,63,23,64,41,10,74,0,2,4,0,50,24,0,13,37,312,94,5,0.0,0.07563372387303577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053115614078606564,0.0,0.0,0.1302294284788542,0.0,0.04883339834654641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05682644882474434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04908497173095658,0.10659867642786584,0.03891306259682927,0.07050045071467223,0.0,0.0,0.2009718515483352,0.05645663655177289,0.06969099870300102,0.0,0.0,0.07126067683434678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692950623030698,0.0,0.0,0.05096684244746566,0.0,0.0,0.12350437148777944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625037780349449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665146173247332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057742173354963726,0.053783518282521564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032276760560573915,0.0,0.061291357220918614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4931855871489022,0.0,0.03335101489885494,0.061236095492866786,0.03627875156308307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032115853883167,0.06320642476160061,0.056448846261912385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21393538994257533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833640519125753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647405443087077,0.07016380300902532,0.10406765956116308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526508564549594,0.03118642761163473,0.1919375264941267,0.056367241429093676,0.11298346526519396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042610181990940216,0.06471840308563302,0.0,0.13906948268137906,0.0,0.0,0.1929911995117512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469258759075957,0.0,0.04923328371999367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095145194384564,0.1359638210824387,0.1297682075881193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088092003971509,0.0,0.0,0.0442549684266621,0.16721408786634415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834308198336852,0.14301902725884968,0.0,0.0638520106252363,0.0,0.04089416648847455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781941366973384,0.12920832169092933,0.0,0.0,0.06659355152739699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350583575706058,0.0,0.0,0.10817392938874236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04518255472404984,0.0680393351357771,0.15293550797851754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016348326377052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055794372928046634,0.0587704484775276,0.0,0.0,0.042408962158298,0.08180544264035483,0.06271730405174647,0.10135530001165484,0.07444509585948234,0.0,0.0,0.06099682586286356,0.0709227405239719,0.08667919109683539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513271632885505,0.0,0.052670342546626496,0.07530276243367055,0.10133808441088044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835087968217672,0.0,0.0,0.07340679610466437,0.0,0.0,0.04647244810449303,0.0,0.0,0.0906927299482338,0.0,0.0,0.12332243131542285
mentalhealth,ohitsathrowawayy,2019/04/05,"Not doing so good. Starting over again. Rape, breakup, death, manic depression(bipolar disorder). This is a big one lol this is gonna be all over the place i just need to get it out sorry for the format i’m on mobile. 

August 2017 I was raped by my best friend I never felt the same I don’t understand why it fucks me up so bad i guess i’m extremely uneducated on why rape hurts so bad. I always thought not me right.. until it’s the man you trusted to hold you and be there for you after a ruff night with an ex. I have had my highs where I never thought of him and when I did it didn’t hurt, I knew I was safe now but I never really talked about it until this summer after one of the hardest mental health years of life I fell so fucking hard for a guy (we will call him L) in june 2018..deeply in love like the whole “when I look at you i feel home” bullshit. I fell so hard for him. Since the rape i didn’t feel right I wasn’t attracted to anyone anymore in spring 2018 i forced my self to date some guy (we’ll call him Z) to try and be normal, he got close to my vagina and i cried so fucking much like a nut job but “L” made sure i knew it was okay.  I knew already at this time i was uncontrollably wanting to be with “L” i left “z” me and “L” ended up kissing and we after that we couldn’t  stay away from each other even though he was “z’s” friend we knew we were supposed to be together. “L” and I fell so hard in love we were so clingy and annoying. One night we were at our friend “d’s” house things got heated we were sleeping there.. so i really had no ride home but him ..but I started crying like so hard and he just pulled me close and I remember he said he wouldn’t hurt me..i’m safe now ..he held me all night and I swear I felt it. Safe, like a town of pain lifted off. Soon after we were able to have sex he knows every inch of my body like the back of his hand we were so funny we’d jokingly lick each other’s faces and make funny noises when we’d kiss to make the other person laugh I had never felt so comfortable in someone’s arms. I told him everything, and he told me everything he was my person we’d do the gayest things I would right him cheesy love letters and when i was sick he brought me a bunch of things to make me feel better. Valentine’s day was the last time I saw “L” I still love him uncomfortably we broke up 3 weeks ago because he doesn’t know who he is and only seeing each other once a week anymore makes him feel disconnected from me and that hurts so fucking much because i’m willing to fight to the end for him but he will never love me the same way  I tried to distract myself by going out drinking when my rapist showed up. I texted “L” he had not much of a response for he doesn’t want to be with me anymore that hurt once again. He is my okay so it’s ruff when my okay doesn’t want me any more. I am not done yet my niece passed about a week later once again I texted him and told him my pain once again not much of a response because I am being crazy and texting a man who I am so in love with who doesn’t want to be with me I hurt a lot. When it rains it pours but that’s it i’m genuinely going insane my rapist is stuck in my brain all over again I had to hold my dead niece and my one safe place is gone i’m not suicidal but mother fucking fuck do I wish i could walk outside tomorrow and someone take this life from me. And here i am posting on an app he got me started on. ",0.46727264335561,2.279861578167118,2.225592068825464,97.21006443156229,82.81401617250673,5.197828896355649,17.71155337296459,6.193130987181911,-0.4738978178192959,2649,56,641,21,73,871,283,742,0.172,0.655,0.173,0.4713,2,0,1,0,1,0,46.0,16,4,0,2,43,59,14,2,27,4,63,35,7,5,9,113,130,53,3,11,15,2,12,5,3,7,6,1,2,7,30,44,1,7,17,3,0,11,22,27,0,4,46,17,111,32,75,64,18,105,0,7,3,22,80,38,6,3,58,405,141,1,0.05273212939059215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04674385103013631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058191216049982376,0.0,0.043877355935783235,0.0,0.0,0.035859656247369504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688830842883686,0.036871530952980285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04954357139801325,0.04054775254127198,0.08805825083725663,0.09643504990372602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055339116481578216,0.04663728321493738,0.0,0.05857350814532685,0.0,0.058866495962150864,0.10769079982661472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04210231446596699,0.0,0.11584753605105645,0.034007861036711204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043558877906001,0.0,0.0,0.05396327657085266,0.0,0.05165741147145311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934100298296776,0.0,0.0,0.034829074133929286,0.0,0.04442909332966546,0.0,0.09478447541786536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665179617236237,0.0,0.15189334115141054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222213707840647,0.2925000234443389,0.02755036116820619,0.0,0.0599377686901444,0.04422920827389543,0.1265241031360569,0.0,0.05809038559657194,0.10442619726051786,0.0,0.0,0.1889505211527769,0.0,0.0,0.056051787676660976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571438989596461,0.10578925058757938,0.0,0.0,0.06084579736552687,0.3387050108668204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232850171911649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05796039849749485,0.042983723516887735,0.0,0.0,0.05729361287500661,0.0,0.07449252492582474,0.12881127408751725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044281707761942346,0.0,0.0,0.04483097068908943,0.2855568334487821,0.049896415838926574,0.14079642335966253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314158369651927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550567301546286,0.03910020577673872,0.20335134509342348,0.0,0.0,0.14845659378198,0.051666290711594585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22463198724181327,0.14293062237320162,0.04010516060230146,0.11222140712630004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208732282163352,0.11018770350309473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050502803449290264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06756310474191357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059735223085263585,0.1350988511283173,0.05016033058657839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420206798724946,0.0,0.05501111140447865,0.0,0.0,0.04362056235068725,0.0,0.05277021190379228,0.0,0.08935952422084187,0.0,0.0,0.05902930160974752,0.11197221778032478,0.05620543369730074,0.042111946648195314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768039078237727,0.0,0.049699407891515626,0.0,0.03964799870725056,0.042384088146598005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509865092021656,0.0,0.051809049390612136,0.08372684100023765,0.06149705741641126,0.0,0.0,0.15116342825541135,0.0,0.07160330885665994,0.0,0.0,0.05489600639403225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441110462773244,0.04185630983166539,0.12689560033236402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516508963392566,0.05887353929168994,0.060639346389240185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03745939176037216,0.0,0.0,0.03395776243676722
mentalhealth,binaryhermit,2019/04/05,"33 and really struggling with a part time job I'm a 33 year old male.  I just recently got hired as a bagger at a grocery store as my first job.  My duties also involve bringing carts in from the parking lot.

Anyway, I initially was scheduled to work 4 hours today and 6 tomorrow.  Yesterday, due to staffing issues related to a sudden wave of illness going through, they decided to ask me (Allegedly, I was totally allowed to say no, in theory) to work 8 today and 8 tomorrow.  I said yes, because I'm totally their bitch and I'm scared of repercussions if I refused.  Plus, $9/hr adds up, sort of
Anyway, as the day went on, I bagged for 3 hours, which is a bit much to do uninterrupted for me at this time, before being scheduled to do the lot for an hour.  As I didn't get the first of my two paid breaks in the first 3 hours, I knew that meant that I would be working half my shift before getting my first break.  And as cart pushing's kinda not mentally stimulating, I had an hour to think.  Which I usually like as it gives me a chance to decompress.  But when you feel wronged, as I did at the time, that's not a good thing.

After that bouncing around my head for an hour, I went back and bagged.  I told my coworkers what I was feeling, and they said I should go ask about it.  My aspergers-y reading of the conversation I had with my boss, was that it didn't go well.  And I sort of melted down

Fortunately, I got a break before I went full Chernobyl/Fukushima.  And the rest of my shift was uneventful.
But it's now over 4 hours after my shift, about  8 hours after my mini meltdown, I'm posting to /r/mentalhealth about it.  What's wrong with me?

And on an unrelated note, I was kinda a little insulted I got my second break like 7h5m into an 8h shift.  If I wasn't so hungry where I needed the break, I would have asked if they were kidding me.",3.9607142857142854,4.501801240740743,5.415794708994714,83.1643904761905,70.98412698412699,8.799322751322752,28.08296296296297,8.954980946260402,2.0354714074074067,1431,49,304,26,25,484,190,378,0.094,0.87,0.037000000000000005,-0.9621,3,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,1,4,7,15,10,2,2,24,1,22,2,1,3,2,48,52,26,0,7,8,0,2,2,0,3,1,3,0,2,16,17,0,2,6,1,2,8,6,6,1,7,25,5,48,4,54,22,9,65,0,0,0,0,19,16,1,9,37,207,64,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631216926688121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026599279433461,0.22137159623467095,0.0,0.0,0.06069364426755607,0.0,0.04811606272401271,0.0,0.20149531922558814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617302882672404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090444946268485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982052976663205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685572279360932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247716410342593,0.07571852779196292,0.13457619903968293,0.06620420775427882,0.18938679521620946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100674822296998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6218550002832155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238424081560546,0.15665516677707444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712413297541729,0.0791103505059315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420990395969656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954463995034332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058023918907197235,0.05852689314373467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282559480852714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547539436999692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559479860062725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895311094194203,0.0,0.050565700782595036,0.0,0.07793558160567503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016434056935762,0.06276969639557038,0.07902445239533229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251660394984084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05243874799603198,0.050576278845367265,0.0,0.0,0.13807721608740176,0.0,0.1496361411910962,0.07542267052047373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771048513867378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693217221064889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096912337156527,0.2195115715728979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723897641597924,0.0,0.0,0.11214170233819463,0.1725989573669309,0.0,0.05082945969351805
mentalhealth,NALA911,2019/04/05,"Schizoaffective Disorder Hi, I was wondering something about Schizoaffective disorder. Im going to be telling you guys my story. So last summer of 2018 i had a psychotic break i thought there were people out to kill me and i didnt know how to handle it. I didnt want to tell people because i thought everyone was playing a part in trying to kill me. Plus i have severe anxiety so i was really freaking out. so after me isolating myself from everyone and staying inside the whole summer i had to get back ready for work and was just think what if my coworkers where in on it too. So when i go to work i felt like everyone was acting funny so i ran out the building called a family member for a ride and told them everything about how i was feeling and they took me to the hospital and i had to stay in a crisis center where i lied to them about everything because i was so paranoid but they had me taking medication for 7days tell they said i was fine to leave but ever sense i been wonder if it was real or not but im pretty sure its not. but i wanted to tell you guys my story to ask sum questions and yes schizophrenia is in my family my dad , brother , and cousin has it ... but i was wondering is there a way of perventing me from getting it i havent taken any medications sense i was in the crisis care program but i feel fine 7 month Later i still have those thought of people trying to kill me but i often push them to the side because i feel like there not true. but i was wonder is it possible that i might be Scizoaffective i dont have auditory hallucinations but i often hear constant buzzing in my ear that no one else hear i guess. and i smoked weed sense age 18 - 25 been clean for a 7 month so far but i just wanna hear some answer of how yall feel and they also gave me the wrong reading because i lied to them about everything that was going on because i was paranoid. but i told him after the fact i was lying and he didnt change my reading so i been trying to get answer on my own.. CAN Schizoaffective Worsen into schizophrenia where you hear voice ? because so far i haven't heard any & i also dont hang out with friends because i feel like there trying there hardest to break me .. i just hang out in the house and go to work everyday and hang with my brother who has schizophrenia. can anyone help me figure out something its been on my mind for so long.",3.773664596273292,4.905045952380956,4.963428571428572,84.05657142857143,71.87784679089026,7.921656314699793,26.222360248447213,8.329178653251315,1.6326705590062116,1877,60,380,29,35,621,201,483,0.131,0.785,0.083,-0.9742,0,0,3,0,0,3,26.0,0,4,8,3,38,15,3,0,15,1,44,3,1,3,4,79,84,44,3,5,20,4,6,3,1,1,2,8,1,2,14,23,0,0,19,3,0,12,11,5,0,1,39,14,76,10,58,42,4,58,0,0,0,0,40,25,0,13,19,276,90,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751210141793688,0.0,0.0728331684356953,0.0,0.09142422000988862,0.0,0.051423346547859364,0.0,0.0,0.047001997658496296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284190769489077,0.0,0.0,0.0516882624817646,0.0,0.2868381025355711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863944336549184,0.0,0.06853557723144878,0.0,0.07111016574156215,0.0,0.0,0.07264126531709267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408057809726622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575633851188636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561539362628917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608046110120629,0.0,0.19269563582731647,0.18123981740818695,0.0,0.12673863533105614,0.0,0.16994302055020236,0.09604439344102957,0.06454203085341574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0519342380810593,0.0,0.10535949912983646,0.0,0.15281138541397882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405074042824711,0.13311733340781734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30304866020701304,0.0,0.045056351056290994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756320259527152,0.0,0.0,0.14521892105383746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22310791180507455,0.0,0.03694251966291852,0.05479351737986105,0.0,0.07117659329150026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852133144300658,0.0,0.0,0.059487851401201865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543476336510515,0.0,0.07131011700337475,0.067873342016428,0.0,0.10730920644775227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04555021587440778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279303579881488,0.0,0.13980627940650564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578078974386447,0.0,0.06838721261437766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753021216082302,0.0,0.13447698424991295,0.07651141934080594,0.04306304632332445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394189988439286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593980703505332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349894414243528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14329579460121486,0.053682219495505085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335433850914879,0.0,0.05054130095055431,0.0,0.2350140249620661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04307205487260035,0.0,0.16009623209020998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846375721821102,0.07468422816299951,0.18255268865906898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792965507163321,0.053356346369507486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504906588945781,0.0,0.0,0.2915901975812771,0.14681153993292154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349484711391555,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cornyeet,2019/04/05,"I hate myself and I know I'm unfixable I really need to vent because I've run out of ways to do it that I won't end up severely regretting. I've struggled with my self-image for a while and after being bullied a few years ago my anxiety has skyrocketed as well. Even though I've been left alone for a while, I'm still overly cautious of everything I do. I overthink everything and absolutely cannot stand any attention being on me. Every day I go home and beat myself up over everything I said. Whether it be I got too personal with someone or I talked too loudly about something I like and I don't want people to judge me for liking it. Along with that, I hate everything about my looks and my personality. I feel like I'm the lowest tier of human and there's nothing I can do about it. I go to therapy but I'm avoiding talking about this because I don't want her to try and tell me that I can fix how I feel because it's already set in my head that this is how I am and there's no fixing it. I'm stuck in this garbage body with an unlikable personality. I wish I could just be charismatic and be able to socialize properly. There's no point in me even *trying* to get a boyfriend because I'm too anxious to meet anyone new and I'm too unstable anyways.

I can't say for sure that my anxiety entirely came from being bullied by I know that it did play a part in it. I so badly want to scream at the guy that started teasing me and tell him how he fucked up my life. Before all of that happened I was so much more social and outgoing. Now I fucking hate myself and if I wasn't so scared of death I probably would have offed myself already.",2.2801779430984226,3.914227416909622,4.2629918568412615,85.56527696793006,76.5801749271137,7.646486377802353,26.11330049261084,8.433251757073789,1.7535928219563692,1296,49,274,25,29,443,175,343,0.214,0.721,0.064,-0.9937,1,2,1,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,1,25,18,6,3,8,0,26,5,2,3,2,45,57,28,1,9,5,0,2,3,0,2,1,4,1,5,19,21,0,1,5,1,0,4,8,12,1,0,8,7,47,6,44,40,5,32,0,1,1,2,18,14,2,2,14,192,66,0,0.09582694879898324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494480824306179,0.0,0.0,0.0992478190600889,0.21149484177542394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516561122940136,0.0,0.14661470708265828,0.10825717608631033,0.0,0.06700443068778737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001149955282565,0.2336608742171127,0.0,0.08154167543965639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644213747644443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960050083559207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765100211061969,0.0,0.0,0.0618004544096653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487423369059871,0.0,0.0,0.12658559183249987,0.0,0.08073833734555531,0.0,0.344492330492792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969059691808304,0.06845879136912336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771809400595578,0.05006562563601312,0.0,0.10892132667072772,0.0,0.07664156491291688,0.0,0.0,0.09488374520242183,0.08473945434958251,0.0,0.0,0.2838278184735263,0.09834609554315464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961222428972059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532796993741382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411626025596336,0.0,0.06768540787627987,0.14044862033110134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047050235737764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704438333572978,0.07105446831558675,0.0,0.09255026428557177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194854183972548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377124728130882,0.0,0.06643434055912094,0.2510171864206513,0.0,0.0,0.090587440622169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331765843652617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06138919718988984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911533724583039,0.07620543589704466,0.09593949289416234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996840667831304,0.10825717608631033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19536701305668627,0.0811938627471759,0.07377226686659136,0.0,0.0,0.06782680757851903,0.0,0.07652752509558408,0.0,0.0,0.10017913314592954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031576517768557,0.0,0.0,0.15404414316863346,0.16751395398810456,0.0,0.10958646735303586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414949065500716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301204159767743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956365157681702,0.07606297157931513,0.0,0.0,0.08615993532418817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019626191469976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807271501732028,0.0,0.0,0.06170941321661633
mentalhealth,Sweetxdecay,2019/04/05,"What do you do when your spouse doesn't seem to understand? I've been married for four years, but with my husband for almost ten years total. Within the last four years I suffered from an incident and have been since diagnosed with PTSD. I usually have great days but there are times where I fall into old habits of not wanting to do much of anything and shutting myself away from the world. Sometimes when this happens I really want to cancel plans I've made, and of course my husband really find this inconvenient. Today was one such day, I just needed to recharge my batteries and wasn't feeling myself along with being really tired from the longer than normal work week. We went out and met up with some friends. 

On the way there I was quiet and not having the best time. Long story short I started feeling better and had a good time. Then on the ride home (after he wanted to leave early), he tells me that he really can't enjoy himself because of my ""moods"" at the start of the going somewhere... That comment sent me into a really downward spiral where I resent myself for how he feels because of how I feel. He also said that he knows I don't like doing things he likes to do in an almost bitter way.

If I could make my ""moods"" just go away I would, if I could buy something to make my ""moods"" go away, I wouldn't consider the cost. If I could just want to go out and not be anxious or stressed about the ""small"" things, I would go out every day.

 But I can't.

 I just felt like he really didn't understand me for the first time in ten years. I know therapy would be beneficial, but has anyone tried educating their spouse on their mental illness, if so how?",5.984139922978178,5.9329971829268295,6.144460847240055,81.75740693196407,66.5,8.978433889602055,27.933889602053924,8.532816995589336,1.8161865853658536,1308,35,259,17,19,417,174,328,0.131,0.7809999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9207,0,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,1,2,2,5,17,16,2,1,15,0,31,3,0,6,1,69,61,25,0,17,16,4,5,3,1,4,3,2,1,0,8,19,0,0,11,0,2,9,10,4,0,6,13,8,37,9,45,38,4,59,0,1,0,0,24,23,0,9,28,183,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798094164662661,0.0,0.0,0.07179943494682982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142923751239152,0.0,0.06277836315622846,0.0,0.07388376134347081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530622599788966,0.0,0.0,0.10946177041153003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422172232706108,0.07940576988845009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21505326621502005,0.0,0.0,0.17370782784027378,0.0,0.0,0.09112785798222862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564605221596474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815879356870436,0.0,0.0862057625974926,0.0,0.08206003805482064,0.07636937636427515,0.0,0.0,0.06936612529074954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25512874786799183,0.07530572307051546,0.0,0.09898607761140032,0.0,0.0,0.0793948129132952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005967232390588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868478068338364,0.07318513050600585,0.0,0.09506723638307442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159032024346706,0.0,0.0,0.07945513222188186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495484816523825,0.1198617031666343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904801496919547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660008376644162,0.06657295898197467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796828006311977,0.0,0.0,0.0942121583714375,0.0,0.06083928633810452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495152573118653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451037439312497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540419581753668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173507378701382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426942775504708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911934199977017,0.08879768557075486,0.0,0.12709774306516106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284612642729413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847430184283116,0.0,0.10267468843296937,0.0,0.11929567526615432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20941276392619354,0.1031923541705513,0.08510378865721684,0.0,0.0,0.06095676542863555,0.0,0.0,0.18693454468305104,0.0,0.0,0.09888329319959847,0.0,0.21182536512919126,0.1425311372257796,0.07201850926442993,0.0,0.0,0.08322974314561299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536309539011018,0.0,0.0,0.1913378076876948,0.0,0.0,0.23126924075345395
mentalhealth,niceshootintex,2019/04/05,"Life review at 40 I feel that I have reached a point in my life where all the mistakes, fucked up shit, and plain dumb choices I’ve made are bombarding my mind. I feel like a disappoint to my family and to myself. I have let anxiety and depression take the drivers wheel. I should have done more, made different choices. Today I found myself hoping that if there was a god that he/she would end this pain.  That or give me some kind of sign to keep going.  I’m not even religious so....

If I didn’t have children I don’t know if I would keep going.  They are the few bright points in my life.  I’m just tired and the wreckage of my past is unrelenting. 

Has anybody ever have this happen to them when they reached around my current age. ",1.3985135135135138,3.72540067567568,2.528310810810812,93.4111148648649,82.7837837837838,5.8621621621621625,20.736486486486484,7.1686216300943375,0.4897081081081081,572,17,123,8,16,182,95,148,0.183,0.7340000000000001,0.084,-0.9557,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,0,8,11,3,0,7,0,17,7,1,2,2,29,34,10,0,8,6,0,2,1,0,3,5,0,0,1,6,5,0,2,4,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,6,3,21,4,11,24,4,17,0,2,1,1,5,8,3,6,8,82,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924936413932324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876809966320527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426100664565965,0.0,0.0,0.16286359525424804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15952148841692768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806525417276325,0.0,0.0,0.10295864334207028,0.1410042653132079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695175139027547,0.0,0.15763732624181914,0.11136218873202193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091665425793975,0.0,0.1441104706351041,0.0,0.14953629477264674,0.17718275615246398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13784600808162945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548260776001465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27711030919340823,0.0,0.16232719800473838,0.08566871421733377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939998760917498,0.3303123681667191,0.07615611012923675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29499878536266444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739646329584867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586952307765082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880708329501974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947179013115549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001071450743953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720392400985555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916351918972995,0.14775798454026615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214683135840187,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ockbird,2019/04/05,"Unusually clumsy, and it's ruining my life. I work a part time job in the food industry which I have worked in for 7 years (though I'm finishing my pharmacy tech certification now). I am going to leave this job as soon as I get enough saved for things I need for my externship (you have to pay for your own drug test, background check, and health professional insurance).   


But right now... I'm at a low point.  


I work at this shitty Jimmy John's full of asshole coworkers/managers. Not only am I hard of hearing (progressive hearing loss, hereditary), but I have always been clumsy as shit. I don't know why. However, the more anxious I get (I have anxiety and depression), the worse my clumsiness gets.  


This is where my asshole coworkers and managers come in. They like to Y E L L  at me as if this job were a matter of life and death. Over LITTLE things too. I can't cope anymore. I would hate to quit and just get something else when I'm so close to finishing school, but they literally do not pay me enough to stand around and take verbal abuse. I have to go in tomorrow and I'm lowkey thinking about not going in and never calling/returning. I get so nervous at night time before a day when I have to work. I really don't know what I can do. ",3.881066308243728,5.049536443548392,5.151881720430108,82.66587813620072,71.66129032258064,9.059498207885305,27.487455197132626,9.444778638647367,2.2862250896057352,970,34,200,22,18,323,140,248,0.184,0.785,0.03,-0.9896,4,0,2,0,1,0,37.0,0,2,2,7,13,9,2,1,7,0,18,6,1,0,1,28,39,22,1,3,8,0,1,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,9,12,1,0,3,0,3,4,7,7,0,0,2,3,29,2,31,36,6,37,0,4,0,0,6,18,1,1,15,128,38,14,0.0,0.13753611693276685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658806858610026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880107498725766,0.13113764373078066,0.1151204182028024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333603464446506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987757446627948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999928585744714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486215940376703,0.0,0.09997975087797042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461623917732085,0.0,0.0969701553801016,0.0,0.0,0.23988386086526045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036470137996535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3032357029422073,0.0,0.19791324669657775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398510522827624,0.11460521659457515,0.0,0.1233878796254366,0.26166176072170844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34557521563864024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758934138025796,0.0,0.0,0.12291222610985762,0.0,0.0,0.16398182965303845,0.05671094764432497,0.11634290779245687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607203594540977,0.08952824639527229,0.0,0.0,0.1089334529277377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828426235575791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570360088300747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973335851031364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346563650932672,0.0,0.0,0.07436398177972085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991319008813494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747941216408685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915471046989225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936424909005637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727790307242386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15423712279967214,0.07437953831023626,0.11404825813216525,0.0,0.13537465676539392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047443722226184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33803122360501303,0.0,0.11829569371195575,0.08246008045333779,0.0,0.0,0.07475187639094058
mentalhealth,phillla62,2019/04/05,"I'm just really sad I've never done something like this, posting to an online forum. I'm just really sad tonight and in 38 years, I don't that I've ever trusted anyone completely with my feelings. I'm treated for depression, anxiety, adhd, the usual. Most of the time I'm OK. Sometimes I even feel happy and hopeful but there's just something in my head tonight. I've been crying for 3 of the last 5 hours. I'm sad and lonely and disappointed in myself. It will pass tomorrow or the next day. It always does for me. But tonight, I guess I just wanted to ",1.4514306784660749,3.744042690265488,3.641792035398233,85.72487094395281,82.27433628318585,6.244542772861358,23.57595870206489,7.492282038375204,1.2748648967551626,436,16,85,7,12,149,72,113,0.218,0.71,0.07200000000000001,-0.9536,0,2,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,7,12,0,0,5,1,4,1,1,0,2,20,14,7,0,2,7,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,2,2,8,6,11,11,1,18,0,6,0,0,0,3,0,4,14,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23140203119708905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602131125727706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729662609242752,0.0,0.0,0.1346321493926358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188008182014092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21150196882635708,0.12417578845470807,0.0,0.165838983187981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16849768798220052,0.19704069034366808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717435351371925,0.17416824563535066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947133762031901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21211035370044334,0.0,0.0,0.2049680502839822,0.0,0.0,0.1976070252584316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19124092632461875,0.1896183334162078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569501166999855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406790685486648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485028040019495,0.0,0.2047741089993075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844051712255303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466988968438365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964615549110728,0.1904322232762144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227471178037106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206144335675206,0.0,0.11356820554660113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239928591860368
mentalhealth,anonymousGwen,2019/04/05,"Anyone here taking Remeron, or has taken it? My current dx: ptsd, anxiety, depression, adhd.    

Sorry for the poor format, I’m on mobile.    

I’m having some other health issues that affect my appetite, so my general practitioner put me on remeron 15mg. I’ve been on it for a little over 2 weeks now, which I know is not a long time but I’ve read that sleep and appetite problems can start to subside after about a week or so of taking it, and that that’s a good sign usually. So far it hasn’t helped in that way but that’s ok, my biggest concern is that it feels like my anxiety is getting worse. I had a similar reaction to Wellbutrin when I took it last as well. I’m not on any other meds (although I probably should be) right now, but I have Ativan for emergencies, and I can’t afford to see my usual psychiatrist right now. Has anyone here had a negative reaction to remeron? What was it like for you, and how soon did it take to figure out it was caused by the medication?",3.3072250423011833,4.630046558375639,5.165502538071066,81.42040270727583,73.26395939086294,8.095972927241963,26.83891708967851,8.648137234880735,1.9837867343485625,760,27,150,14,15,261,119,197,0.123,0.7979999999999999,0.079,-0.787,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,0,13,7,0,0,8,1,18,4,1,3,0,23,31,16,0,2,7,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,20,5,0,0,3,1,1,2,5,2,1,0,8,2,14,5,21,21,1,30,0,1,1,0,2,12,0,3,17,107,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758685408702622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951412404837462,0.0,0.22389468728495493,0.0,0.0,0.20464435463613914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032832771579974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260397751990219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399234393844044,0.10454312524632668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645500112878266,0.0,0.0,0.12274046600914347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554930347101606,0.0,0.0,0.09808655316278088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15273772547883674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042294446695976,0.11928412153795755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298565518808826,0.14666803843169846,0.0,0.12950356969017998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162547329380775,0.14741905198118802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15777595090524116,0.14002466968787952,0.1710600290572082,0.1471090236334425,0.0,0.0,0.14637652135123164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499418610751921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661157933534885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644260327615985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381220172215796,0.10357802552350867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300814570897529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853302351552197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258570311162562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223388872177099,0.0,0.0,0.11615543607173028,0.2347653014399093,0.0,0.13157446588919167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912982390469745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,glhrmz,2019/04/05,"My first post here Today is one of the saddest days of my life and I decided to come here to share my experience because writing really helps me a lot dealing with my problems but I have no one to read it and I know people here care about mental health problems.
I have anxiety & depression since I was 15. I started taking pills that started on some anxiolytics to antidepressants. I’m 27 now and I still take those pills every single day, twice a day...
September last year I had a really bad bike accident that resulted in a broken knee. I had 3 surgeries and 3 months in the hospital just recovering from the surgeries and doing some rehab. That accident changed my life forever because I won’t be able to work on something that demands some strength to do like warehouses and that was my main jobs. I also will never recover 100% from it. It’s March and I can’t even walk alone without any help or stand up more than 10min because it hurts so much...

But this is really hard because I got a new girlfriend and I see her work so hard to pay the bills and I fell really useless because I don’t earn any money and it’s really hard to find a job that I can do like something online or a place where I can be sit. I fell like she deserves so much more than me because she is very ambitious and wants to travel a lot and do things. I can’t even get on a plane because of my panic attacks...

This is my last X-ray and my leg now:
https://imgur.com/3AJidxp

Sometimes I wish I died that day in that bike crash because it’s been too much for me to handle :)",4.132390357246589,5.150560747603837,5.1893072901539385,83.1981520476329,70.91693290734823,8.50241068835318,28.604269532384553,8.841846274778883,2.127186581469648,1226,45,249,22,22,404,165,313,0.205,0.6970000000000001,0.098,-0.989,4,1,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,6,16,14,1,1,13,0,24,8,2,1,1,36,37,21,1,4,6,0,3,3,1,2,6,0,0,0,18,15,0,0,3,4,3,5,7,8,0,4,6,4,37,6,28,27,12,35,0,3,1,0,9,9,0,7,21,170,55,9,0.09089417507587004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413895312966188,0.0,0.07268803896901233,0.0,0.09848380071951998,0.0,0.12362231189133173,0.0,0.06953379514474296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340524605796353,0.0,0.0,0.07589283953612219,0.4432659638161502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267266926906467,0.0,0.09615398509275612,0.07829728350757284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344768937457829,0.09370790335338776,0.07828701980430744,0.0,0.09433380338920856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006949078846127,0.0,0.07658226273504627,0.0,0.0,0.08891194444895546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307562933252302,0.07731453888622422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04748845495841384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269637514908793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442699822975687,0.0,0.0,0.09661625770240316,0.0,0.0,0.1218488991727505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730409433676243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039688712301136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049953061533661434,0.14818176834155394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840248783239008,0.13321890809983694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454995448608927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915999499383422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255086336454651,0.0,0.20045303129577194,0.0,0.0701031912666622,0.08778616068573039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231844907822996,0.0,0.0,0.10664473020746663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301457635364867,0.0,0.09496506711527933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705149425202258,0.0,0.0,0.17394690004226065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091877233051768,0.0,0.29114568015986764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243088942695025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518860089724798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994955332203815,0.08989666330807412,0.0,0.12867072989690498,0.0,0.0725882056283823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668221547478965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038605108105891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861570499949944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499721364568059,0.05361173944661994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452381557292603,0.08761874120693716,0.0,0.1323440839992676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058532868666270714
mentalhealth,HailToTheAndroid,2019/04/05,"Feeling like scum and can't focus I am feeling like absolute shit after being played by a guy who I thought was genuine after not dating anyone for a year. I figured, hey, it's been a year since you've given anyone a chance, maybe it's about time you start changing. Well I did... And it fucked me up.

I feel like an idiot and just worthless. I'm back at square one feeling used and lied to. 

I can't overcome the misery I'm feeling and it's distracting me from important things I need to take care of. 

This isn't the first time I've dealt with this, being that I have anxiety, but I'm looking for outside advice now because I'm just so tired of this shite.",2.571506303915065,4.012501744525547,3.8234771068347686,89.83305242203055,75.35036496350365,6.149701393497015,24.863304578633052,6.574015621080383,0.7801007299270069,517,17,109,4,11,169,87,137,0.172,0.701,0.128,-0.7762,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,1,7,11,3,1,7,0,10,3,1,1,0,19,28,7,0,1,4,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,6,0,0,7,1,0,0,4,5,1,2,5,7,11,6,14,21,0,13,0,1,2,1,4,2,2,0,14,67,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564335751915996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967480138774276,0.0,0.0,0.23705087748500014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034284272343527,0.0,0.10333181458770016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17282689599384668,0.0,0.17931926329618467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4285471272580556,0.3632942567909416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418524767109633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567094029588954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16784169963402767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484422921685497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423458344445868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029573018541966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568962895844726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486446513521435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399973386374473,0.14022054840638212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998015719596836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745053759855096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261501208478802,0.0,0.0,0.13457212526287288,0.19768546418503694,0.19482698238720453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640234515680914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240998291455016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831795900550205
mentalhealth,startledgrey,2019/04/05,"I am looking for advice on finding free/affordable therapy in Ontario I can’t afford therapy. I want it, I want my boyfriend to get some, and we could probably use couples counselling too. I can’t afford any of it.

He is suicidal, on and off.

I just don’t know where to go. ",1.1514880952380968,3.3935635535714286,3.6428571428571423,85.56880952380955,83.10714285714286,7.3047619047619055,28.97619047619048,8.344100000000001,2.449997619047619,213,11,43,5,6,74,41,56,0.09,0.858,0.052000000000000005,-0.5994,3,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,11,13,2,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,8,12,1,6,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,1,0,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24864557819078986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303471369058798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315760639406866,0.2815440661299605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325626744281345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329396139195436,0.0,0.14460978896461976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983905604424332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21367390059351307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743401175784613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27832698215901097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5819714614827445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21976308802960445,0.0,0.0,0.3001623847240396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChipBailerjr,2019/04/05,"Question about family member with questionable traits. I am living with someone now who continues to get worse. Absolutely insane temper outbursts, below the belt name calling (Very low grade stuff), and most of all - zero personal responsibility.

  
I'll go out and get her stuff to be kind and she has absolutely zero gratitude. Will accept the small thing I picked up, whether it be something to eat, a drink, ect - and then have no remorse berating you and going right back to attacking.  


What scares me is that concocts scenarios where everyone else is insane and she is the only one seeing clearly. Literally Z E R O self responsibility ever. She fills out a form wrong? Why didn't anyone tell her. Her car gets a flat ""I wish the men in our family weren't so selfish and would've checked my tires like men do"", You cook her something to eat ""Yeah but I did that for you in the past"", ect, ect.  


The reason why I say it is borderline crazy is because when you think everyone else is the villain and you are seeing clearly, that's one thing. But when you hold that mindset and THEN take absolutely no responsibility for your own failures, it falls close to insanity. 

​

I've had friends that dated women in the past who did nothing. He paid for everything, he drove her everywhere, he took her everywhere - and even though she did NOTHING for him, she still actually like it was HER who was the saving grace and that he should only be so lucky to have her.  


That is my situation. She doesn't life a finger. Never cleans. Never helps with the dogs. Never gets the door, the mail, or brings down the trash. Does nothing and then acts as though I am the one who is kicking back living the good life.

​

Before I get attacked and told that I am insulting those who need mental help or trivializing it - I am not. I have attempted to uncover the reasoning and the logic behind this. There is none. It's like someone saying ""I'm 6'5"" and you say - No, you're 5'10. Well, why do they think that? They just do. There is no rhyme or reason. They just think that with no trace of logic. If it's just entitlement so be it! I have simply never seen someone do so little and not only act as though they do EVERYTHING... but treat the others so poorly that you'd think they don't lift a finger.

  
This is destroying my life. My stress is at a new high. There is absolutely no reasoning with her. I cannot do it. I will have to move out but it has proven to be so difficult. I just can't do this anymore. I am losing my mind.

  
Normal people do not operate under these kinds of relationships. I really need your help. ",2.8519047619047626,5.215382761904763,4.131349206349206,83.76285714285716,77.53174603174604,7.2095238095238106,22.984126984126984,8.225684150193146,1.413303174603175,2048,64,397,39,49,671,239,504,0.142,0.754,0.104,-0.9621,0,0,3,0,0,0,80.0,1,10,5,2,27,26,6,2,24,1,55,10,2,5,8,74,79,41,0,6,16,0,2,3,1,3,4,3,2,5,37,25,4,1,13,2,3,11,20,13,1,5,13,8,54,13,37,57,5,48,0,2,3,0,62,18,0,8,22,283,91,1,0.0,0.0,0.06803100809649187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151070624896126,0.1694207803746622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913775901246116,0.048745793366826086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861994587316894,0.0,0.10721184153631033,0.0,0.04249713256117301,0.0,0.05932165411996794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118599825093626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100737096021994,0.0,0.0,0.06829338083801566,0.0,0.1426700726336083,0.1164745461966568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046045575190664975,0.0630604900174594,0.0,0.13322982163403999,0.12530926527011527,0.0,0.13144069693225965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053861022175197865,0.0,0.18211397492545106,0.0,0.0792403790112284,0.05847296793960099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14018388714523855,0.07365688560344295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451932340713542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772361494989225,0.10217651810544402,0.06987194841139023,0.1231178412215246,0.0,0.0,0.07799236366368592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025552210890884,0.0,0.07039147418983473,0.0,0.0,0.07409516757472964,0.0,0.103384399949318,0.2150715718624414,0.06733041401293341,0.0,0.0,0.06830511958587898,0.2006779809137528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14172044943456805,0.15906238399670886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331001948034526,0.04833105220229132,0.0608717551719225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561917298353328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044660705127357134,0.2867112562318646,0.0,0.07484696680978638,0.0,0.059535550518136325,0.0,0.16631860282382693,0.0697960813685312,0.0,0.11110639158489327,0.0,0.07272712035802839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836168780463262,0.0,0.0,0.17720586006783234,0.10733880252299964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567385450323455,0.0,0.07985738677077887,0.0,0.15961217246053086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052416406437162284,0.0,0.06093328831650284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263004072929548,0.1786801915918007,0.20548155860523085,0.0,0.0,0.08012622375827212,0.0,0.06661491081701999,0.07745504734172477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752152053508022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268144301355105,0.0,0.1887186811260898,0.0,0.0801678957339408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104473117584642,0.04952297133326645,0.07622153970925534,0.1694207803746622,0.0
mentalhealth,Alfott,2019/04/05,"i snapped i kept composure for 7 years, except for the occasional minor mental breakdowns along the way. those breakdowns were more frantic and rage/fluster induced. this time it just felt like someone finally pulled the plug, i felt a surge of emotion and then nothing. my psychiatrist tells me im a schizoid, but now i honestly just feel like a psychopath. i want to hurt myself and die really bad, just an extremely strong urge i have, no emotion backing it up. 

why do i feel this way, why am i so lost?",3.5283333333333324,5.924767666666668,4.18041666666667,84.08958333333338,75.45833333333334,7.183333333333334,30.458333333333336,8.167268648758528,2.365758333333334,400,19,74,7,9,127,70,96,0.217,0.633,0.149,-0.8894,0,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,1,7,0,4,0,0,1,0,16,11,6,1,1,5,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,5,4,11,4,7,6,1,10,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275176255352684,0.1550082276644553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926731923800088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4176577613739617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877382953297788,0.13262688460391148,0.3565021620279724,0.20336818126791287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987398982542692,0.0,0.2005315708171687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18139635624975328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026565944390009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18708940106710828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17813415054790732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893078754093328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729884869063554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622644323746098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825277343192492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949993127709688,0.2947172964210515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350366771864761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195511498519765
mentalhealth,Locator1,2019/04/05,"Need personal opinions. Hello all,

Not sure this belongs here. Self diagnosed with OCD/DPDR and anxiety.

I'm having a hard time figuring out if I have any sociopathic tendencies.

I look at my past alot. And wonder why the Fuck i did certain things especially as a kid.

Examples:

I believe I was sexually molested at a young age. But cant remember much.

I coerced a friend to give me a BJ at age 8.

I threw my cat in the air once, and I think I liked it around age 8.

I had a gambling problem for about 3 yrs.

I was paranoid before with my ex wife cause I thought she was cheating on me.

I have a hard time with relationships. I always feel out of place or I'm wearing a mask or something.

These are just some examples. But all of these examples I feel massive amounts of fear, shame and regret about.

At this stage in my life I obsess on weather I have sociopathy or not. And ita relentless. I just get this dark feeling once in awhile with intrusive thoughts. And my mind spirals out of control. I'm just terrified I might not have OCD but instead have something else like sociopathy......No Offense.

Thoughts?",1.285,3.9008864516129047,2.9845737327188964,87.46828917050692,87.70967741935482,6.602304147465437,27.10483870967742,7.83500028581142,2.0485419354838714,868,42,171,19,28,286,130,217,0.14300000000000002,0.8,0.058,-0.8779,0,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,8,14,4,3,11,0,14,4,1,2,4,51,31,14,0,4,13,2,5,2,1,1,2,0,0,3,7,14,0,1,10,0,1,1,4,9,0,0,9,6,27,5,26,21,6,24,0,1,1,1,10,15,1,9,9,110,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977865820015406,0.0,0.0,0.09789153008934648,0.0,0.11012202401814723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814679654149194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249159064490488,0.16218333945749666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787719991102818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16145314473046574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610710619707226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025248321986325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198475312060634,0.2183576602506231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121608758006167,0.13308026271741175,0.07520838991499408,0.13809079455802287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25790341518097504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016767589028783,0.14065425085172398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088247856820455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270912814034698,0.14534934619178624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582045503155753,0.1067377485129694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066059639058128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741739688891896,0.0,0.12569235006962132,0.15039802415479694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774154470111868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454936574991934,0.16306827783587174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501721553087933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216408300478568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567199444060174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563456379257028,0.09223790709103316,0.0,0.342842741653244,0.16787782361763418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989327297355446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610858149623086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,electricfinch,2019/04/05,"Help - I’m going through a mental health crisis, but I can’t leave school to go to the hospital Hi there.
Hopefully this is the right place to post. Huuuuuge TW  for the following post.

I’ve been dealing with severe depression for 3 years, and anxiety and ptsd for about 10 years (since I was 5 ish). I used to self harm in my first year of depression, but my parents found out and I couldn’t bring myself to do it again because the look on their face was devastating. Now I just shovel food in my face, lock myself away from everyone, skip class and stay awake all night.

I know I’m on the verge from relapsing. I just want to end it all. I won’t go into the details but I really, really, really want to commit suicide. However, I can’t afford to leave my school for a mental health stay in a hospital. I’m already so behind on my work due to my skipping related to anxiety and everything. I want to be a psychologist or a lawyer when I’m older. I have the grades for them. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up with them due to my leave. I have a friend that went too. She’s retaking the whole year because she missed too much. I can’t afford to do that. We have 2 months left. I don’t know if I can survive them. 

I’m really torn on what I should do. Any advice or outside opinion would be so so appreciated. Sorry if this is a jumbled mess. I’m pretty tired.",1.7960489510489488,3.4670268146853167,3.931040559440561,87.25486853146855,78.05594405594404,7.652923076923077,22.279160839160838,8.488131031819089,1.245180587412587,1063,31,235,22,25,365,149,286,0.187,0.72,0.093,-0.9821,4,0,0,0,0,2,34.0,1,0,4,3,13,7,0,0,15,0,24,6,2,1,3,38,48,17,1,10,11,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,7,10,1,1,4,0,0,6,7,5,0,1,5,1,34,2,38,36,4,39,0,3,1,0,13,15,0,7,14,148,41,6,0.10306727414167352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071614743543934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373729994546572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008928074376602,0.0,0.15769236522169053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683509682329684,0.0,0.0,0.12565770736182394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625783397124487,0.17754338438453438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912870129018051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848519729336833,0.09263022018233487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766897073296613,0.12462935700620273,0.11300794624876648,0.07962952033242914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572652124293325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219111385539154,0.0,0.0,0.06908382129226777,0.0,0.0,0.10236905895044993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916109289123093,0.0,0.0,0.16992923527855086,0.0,0.0,0.3274000847294006,0.11198289492570238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655055212270338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20773514130643134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226731490073141,0.0,0.07576630556668643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672165481333177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144440107447763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768336472698033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19741991640336465,0.1048564711559867,0.0,0.0,0.12048012797459046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641101400141737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880188889669709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086191678610534,0.0,0.0,0.1075216450670223,0.1164366828468774,0.0,0.0852583142378154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153753751595856,0.0,0.21971200139567512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127388694154795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184606698173317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901703274157377,0.0,0.0,0.1823752460092567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554439571616488,0.0,0.11507093083462255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503420310044888,0.0,0.0,0.07321603440568493,0.0,0.0,0.2654877814156717
mentalhealth,leeemh,2019/04/05,"Idk what is wrong with me. People of Reddit, 

I am having a hard time getting through days lately some days I am so happy and a go getter lots of confidence then all of a sudden depression or anger or anxiety will hit me like a ton of bricks and all I want to do is go home and then that will continue for idk how long until I wake up happy again. 

It’s really hard to find balance in life I know I have depression and anxiety but I am afraid to tell my psychiatrist about my mood swings bc I’m afraid of what she might say or if she will switch my medicine. I hate switching medicine. I guess my question is has anyone found any copping mechanism to help balance you out ? I can’t stand it it’s always up or down. Never stable ",1.0994122516556288,3.298523423841061,2.860161423841064,91.36587127483446,82.97350993377485,6.159105960264903,20.69577814569536,7.413659706084162,0.6528175496688742,571,17,123,9,16,189,97,151,0.156,0.75,0.094,-0.6849,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,4,11,2,2,4,0,15,2,1,1,3,25,25,15,0,2,6,0,2,1,0,4,1,1,1,0,6,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,1,3,19,3,19,19,5,20,0,2,0,0,7,5,0,10,13,84,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152252461843498,0.0,0.0,0.11566214453542766,0.0,0.2602257712571384,0.0,0.0,0.11892585675968195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21937868625594348,0.0,0.29298415346942275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15545260884097162,0.0,0.0,0.18648702446328388,0.0,0.0,0.08886124935104604,0.0,0.1933239632178306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18736539270318,0.0,0.0,0.3621126320622716,0.30472158373269403,0.16792156447821235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400292367926206,0.0,0.17060692812208345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347306541512083,0.0,0.1918608202007456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013452004872067,0.08309387071938759,0.0,0.0,0.15051793640949074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459832452759072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804309855482602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117834987274588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791400640462395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905316746991864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895940457453043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352566787117392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865987437505626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991766554360406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031924920028032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18595885485442304,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BrennanSims,2019/04/05,"I feel like everyone is out to hurt me. I don’t know if I’m going to gain anything out of writing on here, but I just need to get some things off my chest.
I was diagnosed with PTSD 12 years ago and Depression and Anxiety, 2 years ago. I’m a second year nursing student. 
For the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling down and not wanting to socialise with anybody and keeping my distance from people.
Basically, I’m also an ex-smoker (quit just over a month ago), but I vape. I was in lecture and we were going on a break. 3 of my friends ran off to go outside and smoke and 2 of them were lagging behind. One of the girl’s turns to the other and says are you coming *Angela and completely left me out. 
Since then I’ve been distancing myself from them because I just feel I’m not wanted.
I also work in the local ED and have been speaking to one of my colleagues there. There was a social event tonight and he kept telling me he wasn’t going. I wasn’t going anyway because I have no money and my anxiety at the moment is stopping me from going out and socialising. Turns out he did go as he posted a video on social media. I’m not mad that he went,  I’m just angry that he lied to me and said he was going away on holiday. Did he lie to me because he thought I wouldn’t go because he wasn’t and he was trying to stop me from going?
I know I sound so paranoid. But I just feel like a lot of people are out to get me and hurt my feelings. I don’t know, just needed to get it off my chest and see if anyone else has experienced this.. 
",3.55374525270231,3.7925994110429455,5.123794916739701,85.97710633946829,71.76073619631902,7.559217061057553,26.873502775343265,7.2636822038024595,1.2275441425650016,1192,37,261,11,21,405,155,326,0.115,0.823,0.062,-0.9537,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,1,1,2,3,13,7,1,0,12,0,25,3,2,0,0,62,66,27,0,7,14,0,5,2,1,1,1,4,0,1,6,27,0,4,9,2,1,13,10,4,0,3,20,11,35,3,47,45,2,51,0,3,1,0,24,21,0,4,17,170,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457321671636493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779116458965325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137787603763682,0.0,0.0,0.06461114498158622,0.09467899317685564,0.07604075952200566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681676056751489,0.0,0.0,0.2253149003072977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795980114329646,0.09688401540211236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224345783710297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958757722205377,0.09378828863853576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719182796292498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882961454405837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23361162687503306,0.13202711668501027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139123342254322,0.0,0.14483209677439393,0.0,0.5251541992723627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19784115275832712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213307304541408,0.0,0.0,0.15234874768101234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039740234021162,0.0,0.0,0.09028802103112793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855872191886497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375612783557277,0.0,0.0,0.137033044137622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252309156384085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821023712556708,0.12812283502928992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849765310260051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080155312138558,0.0,0.0,0.09828321028674616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789752711886653,0.07348350574115622,0.0,0.0,0.0736341608090217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643768526489053,0.0,0.0,0.1883888315392512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450804935532686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807653184756997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061389225385792875,0.0,0.0,0.07335859025782214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273636665098943,0.20101840740057345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900474852363007,0.0,0.07412105237376093,0.0,0.0,0.0856595924264371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727133713547075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785157699188149
mentalhealth,throwawayes28,2019/04/05,"Can't talk to people, am too scared Can't talk to people because of my social anxiety. 

I honestly want to talk to people because it has gotten worse . 

How can I improve? I can't even talk to my parents",1.5385714285714265,3.50079928571429,3.9573809523809516,85.39178571428572,79.95238095238095,6.104761904761905,24.785714285714285,7.1686216300943375,1.2413142857142856,158,6,31,2,4,55,25,42,0.171,0.6679999999999999,0.16,-0.128,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,6,0,0,1,0,2,8,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,6,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372834022450306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609349898943344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136132219932698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376491455567317,0.0,0.0,0.4451334192901368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142761015739827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181712695736342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6880999153266877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623733679244215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181094946197883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,katak04,2019/04/05,"Please help. It’s not about me but about my friend My friend just came out to her mum and her mum got really angry and said she couldn’t live their anymore and saying that her parents would divorce or something(that part confused me) and that she might have to live with her grandma. I’m really scared for her. She doesn’t own a phone but has a laptop and me and my friends are so scared and have no idea what to do. She is also suicidal so I’m really scared that this might really affect her very badly and something might happen. I care about her a lot and I have no idea what to do, where she is and if I’m ever going to see her again. What do I do? Do I just sit and wait. It’s Easter holidays so I won’t see for for 2 weeks and by then she might be living with her grandma or who know where else. Please help",2.027216748768474,3.3442716724137966,3.1594417077175687,94.54758620689655,76.52873563218391,6.3507389162561605,18.7504105090312,6.868970318607317,-0.1099313628899834,637,11,149,6,14,205,88,174,0.18,0.6729999999999999,0.147,-0.8657,1,0,2,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,13,9,0,4,3,0,21,0,0,1,1,38,34,22,1,3,8,3,0,0,3,6,0,2,0,0,10,16,0,1,3,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,3,4,27,4,15,23,3,10,0,0,2,0,29,3,0,9,4,110,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128135910873736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320072664909582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530593530569537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055096205530192,0.11637798079435085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535312869490613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325028457369928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645633993081785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487098086592652,0.0,0.09129182765153848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093765270264857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15301737782654756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577106169380701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273086209381559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023751989249309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704161850960047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4843573374474213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674401983376482,0.12360742937275025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505928880632009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29249569817075594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857761030552092,0.09077233127909252,0.3428358356286804,0.0,0.18191686341036892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787405476258879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248556163685828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418121176531567,0.0,0.0,0.09155987664123834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108501665114268,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,softpinkboba,2019/04/05,"How do I bring up the fact that I believe I have BPD to my therapist? (details in post) I am a teenage girl and my mom just found out that I have an eating disorder. Things have been really tense lately, and I am under constant scrutiny. I don’t want to give a lot of details, but if anyone had advice on this, it’s be great. 
However, my main issue is that I believe I have borderline personality disorder. I am not one for self diagnosing but I recently did some research and discovered how much I relate to it. I’m not sure how to bring this up to my therapist, doctor, or psychiatrist. They are already treating me for manic episodes but I do not have a specific diagnosis, which I feel like I need in order to probably cope with it. How do I bring this up to someone without seeming like i’m self diagnosing or being dramatic?",3.5277902097902114,5.1023972848484895,5.736969696969697,76.53776223776225,73.12121212121212,9.44055944055944,30.87412587412588,9.851270322608157,3.2389720279720287,652,30,125,18,13,229,98,165,0.062,0.852,0.087,0.7158,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,0,5,0,19,4,0,4,2,29,30,13,0,3,11,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,4,11,5,1,0,3,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,4,1,22,5,20,24,4,16,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,6,5,99,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662841495740535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15429250828964833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776391320518653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150537446378031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609572635058668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109345796691767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838244118018317,0.0,0.0,0.3204868093725192,0.14310952562214874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306859766305524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069612160577578,0.09988592200310743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330308959105068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412605163712354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414970721744092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593354176244294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772065961639206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366159082008353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118868162348386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16375301218560406,0.0,0.0,0.10278223006286544,0.10367318701077807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474421456676398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208358051517908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13390688060474815,0.0,0.15074732354666015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957091470224768,0.0,0.13805328956648796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272849475168316,0.2917210857084626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846723670253535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177669800723488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246786722156787,0.09288878728369106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246820867092244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477944770905598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FaeryBlossoms,2019/04/05,I know he is right but..... My mother is incredibly toxic. I have been told by 6 mental health professionals and by multiple others that i need to cut her out of my life. My boyfriend of 5 months finally sat me down and told me the same thing today. He notices that after i have contact with her my mental health rapidly declines and i spiral into depression. The only problem is I don't know HOW to cut her out. There is alot of past between me and her. You see my mother didnt raise me. Yes she had custody and provided the necessities (barely i might add) and provided discipline (abuse) i raised myself and two brothers one of which has severe mental health issues. I became the rock the glue holding us together. I guess im afraid to cut ties to the only family i have know even if those ties are choking me... I just dont know how to start. Any advice? ,2.799607843137256,4.7620840588235325,4.378235294117648,83.85872549019611,76.05882352941177,7.121568627450981,23.68627450980393,8.021203637495839,1.3735803921568637,670,21,130,11,15,224,103,170,0.125,0.875,0.0,-0.9556,0,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,1,1,0,0,5,6,3,1,7,1,15,4,0,2,0,29,26,11,0,3,3,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,12,0,2,4,1,0,0,3,6,0,2,6,1,30,0,18,19,2,11,0,1,1,0,15,5,0,4,6,93,36,1,0.0,0.16076778083542326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259248646399968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922723142706231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686764928071325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902501752444226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962047076166547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279143227935903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863928380904498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947534016759456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4326891590025069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656604037826254,0.1416227449232476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982817274386846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584026159302823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4102239751986087,0.14394324668230365,0.0,0.0,0.10830465734798927,0.0,0.0,0.10061073788854083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544813882078853,0.0,0.0,0.09194552239665754,0.20639327702650975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295292986064503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983483953292402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587658623867088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812555904923077,0.0,0.0,0.15328852112998087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960404788167546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901449034185886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861610937605109,0.25931089545290475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254720310805393,0.0,0.16321564113873893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jay217g,2019/04/05,"Scared for my wife. Hello all, So i'll get right down to it. My wife has been struggling with severe depression and anxiety. As I type this she is laying silently in our bedroom while my daughter and I hang out in the living room. Every detail throughout her day quickly becomes a huge deal due to her anxiety and he depression has her crying everyday about the state of her life. Sometimes she has even mentioned ending her life. She has never tried or anything like that she just said it is something she wonders about.

​

In my opinion our lives aren't bad, we are healthy, financially stable, have family nearby, and she has friends she is close to. 

​

I don't really know what to do to help her. I've suggested to her to explain all this to her doctor. To be honest it was extremely difficult to get her to go to the doctor in the first place. It turns out that old asshole told her to get out of the house more, to help with her depression. 

​

Whenever I call anyone who has to do with her medical well-being they say they can only talk to her. We have insurance and from what I know you need a referral to see an outside service like a therapist. He didn't give her one and i'm wondering what i can do to get her help when she doesn't seem to want it. On top of the fact that the one time she tried her doctor just suggested that she's fine and she should ""get out more"". I can't force her to do things and she gives up on every possible solution very quickly. Please help. I at a loss and I feel like my Hands are tied.",3.0727306455602275,4.848033598070742,4.024196141479102,87.51590341330696,74.7556270096463,7.485580014840464,25.466361612663864,8.263242389622931,1.5545190699975264,1223,42,250,21,26,394,161,311,0.096,0.774,0.129,0.8407,0,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,4,1,2,3,9,14,0,2,12,0,28,7,1,0,4,37,50,14,0,3,3,3,2,3,1,1,6,2,2,0,16,19,0,0,7,0,0,2,6,8,0,3,5,5,50,6,44,43,4,34,0,4,1,0,60,19,0,5,15,176,66,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28637169169200377,0.3211565154842727,0.0,0.0,0.1347938131272014,0.0,0.0,0.0616021604417366,0.0,0.07249949013472973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356052699863426,0.0,0.09730046342032914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996081472014175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677464317521392,0.056817757704048726,0.0908281044265234,0.22764339043671095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705248491725286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803120043717755,0.0,0.0,0.0581897783298317,0.0,0.148457526163758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305363747044027,0.0,0.04454643521303401,0.06293926246785891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493853517524683,0.0,0.0,0.06806649559735145,0.0,0.23014528079616506,0.16902871993320331,0.0500697414500974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362085617598955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165654841662104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683584259256448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445646691596905,0.1291248706189516,0.0,0.15558932339236714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875233434570526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653256614875897,0.06794880420052364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244701842761867,0.0,0.11939882754935552,0.06700466387238244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204663346580534,0.09670827346120828,0.0,0.09932046723037932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0564396583309867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523764168543158,0.08380408007862201,0.07006132938486187,0.0882043168384422,0.0,0.07020496834474496,0.08020370197634343,0.0,0.09952887983352014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782433598819733,0.08713399009419392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210213368911516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081212335644546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229187336160746,0.058530287811604416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05137231218431745,0.0,0.0,0.08418413447661227,0.0,0.11962938360146005,0.09582842238720286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269242517378229,0.05196416198302571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921324164698394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19108322017662696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211565154842727,0.0
mentalhealth,vomitandthrowaway,2019/04/05,"Searching for healthy ways to express hurt or anger I have a lot of mental health, to keep the situation short I have been diagnosed with a personality disorder, depression, anxiety, and post traumatic. I also have issues with food and my weight.
I have an upcoming holiday with family and know I will be subject to a shower of passive agressive and hurtful comments. 
I've known my family 20 years, so I was pre-emptively (?) planning ways to silence my anger and tally my annoyance* before realising that there's healthier ways to cope.
So, what are some healthier ways to tell someone that what they're saying is incredibly hurtful?

Saying it like that has never worked in the past, and I'm not proud to say it's devolved to the point where I've cussed people out for such comments. My ego has since learned to take a hit- but I still feel it. 


*for what it's worth, I was planning a personal bingo with sheets of insults I knew to come from each family member, with specific ""revenge"" per person. Crappy, I know, which is why I recognise and want to learn a better way to manage it.",6.190664165103186,6.960939263414638,6.849756097560973,74.03996247654786,66.12195121951221,10.210131332082552,33.330206378986865,10.214889679676881,3.5024934333958733,859,36,152,20,13,283,126,205,0.145,0.785,0.07,-0.9375,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,5,7,11,4,0,10,0,14,4,0,0,1,30,24,12,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,3,1,3,12,15,2,1,7,1,1,1,2,8,0,0,4,5,16,3,26,17,3,16,0,4,0,0,11,5,0,3,5,99,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352870393446824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947009482956474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951991282886204,0.0,0.0,0.1034370082171973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074619637454783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007329899257621,0.11870665076561925,0.0,0.0,0.13404032272507194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307637041208255,0.0,0.059135856318095724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414221972537054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431747354962568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3756075673487775,0.0,0.0,0.12207041576874278,0.0,0.10395479179586063,0.0,0.0,0.12855058876451012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713820316184584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943078078070892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786292104877967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902027446859066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164658151268117,0.0810817259473582,0.3063612364651052,0.0,0.0,0.11056008041899468,0.0,0.11201036027978993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790214315563716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674621151305976,0.13146208505360124,0.0,0.0,0.09909541469769416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340024699587128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793544746542567,0.0,0.10222364213531067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689829657978858,0.4641663456301892,0.0,0.1424194273694673,0.0,0.0,0.1055335075275343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514448061477317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531505075073745
mentalhealth,Selene___,2019/04/05,"How to help a friend with their anxiety? hey, recently i realized that i have no clue how to comfort someone during them having a panic attack. i wait for mine to pass and that’s it, but i feel so helpless when i see someone else going through that and i don’t know what to do/say?

 do you guys feel the same? or is there any way at all to help",1.6672072072072088,2.935907972972977,3.4118918918918912,92.56801801801802,77.37837837837839,6.5549549549549555,23.144144144144143,7.1686216300943375,0.634025225225225,266,8,62,3,6,89,55,74,0.17,0.708,0.121,-0.5775,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,2,0,5,5,1,1,3,0,5,0,0,2,1,14,11,8,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,4,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,3,10,2,9,11,2,6,0,1,1,0,8,1,0,1,2,44,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17452591673472234,0.0,0.1963310531249105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919682553633111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21439214255225414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595326398276851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828160437214198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585602766965367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541167389097565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440445418936089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410441808519448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301115049858412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25340382091879304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040926695720186,0.0,0.0,0.2045110980979184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4349052533030087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20371112299883898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Night_Ninja000,2019/04/05,"need help please sorry if this is the wrong subreddit but i really need help

​

basically i've got this horrible subconscious feeling that i cant do anything right and whenever anyone asks me to do something and i mean fucking anything i go into full panic mode thinking about the worst thing that could go wrong if i screw up, this is so fucking draining i need help but i dont think this problem is big enough to see a professional about and if i mention it to my parents all i'll get is them saying that ""oh of course you can do it your just over reacting"" i know im over reacting but you telling me that isnt helping. please if anyone knows how to fix this tell me because im completely lost",3.227159624413148,5.094044274647885,4.3151408450704265,85.20163145539908,74.56338028169014,7.550234741784037,28.734741784037556,8.344100000000001,2.079167136150234,565,24,112,10,12,184,85,142,0.218,0.6859999999999999,0.096,-0.9696,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,1,1,5,9,3,1,3,0,12,3,0,3,1,27,30,12,0,9,8,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,12,4,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,9,0,0,2,3,17,0,11,27,4,9,0,1,1,3,14,7,3,4,0,72,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650515065180852,0.15308607589656753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761838708684962,0.0,0.2073505331036236,0.0,0.11777936153789433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679954308154266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209331659183438,0.0,0.0,0.10058910687212977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765397472615166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017661757027085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370201412536504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23294298260116095,0.06582218243974672,0.0,0.14320083579546405,0.0,0.10076204989111233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377814872458835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721717470447423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847658478558264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13752796912185342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723505699326133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802497791976177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781674607229414,0.13989190027651635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765883183515896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055103287142716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807094865175502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759086087324392,0.0,0.10018866319544384,0.0,0.0,0.10039406888071736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698973191685346,0.0,0.1410303638535065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202336213826729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369911538613016,0.16145274098457926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754905599438351,0.15308607589656753,0.0
mentalhealth,sunstudio,2019/04/05,"i feel my mental health deteriorating day by day, after it took so long to build myself back up I’m a 19 year old with diagnosed PTSD. I’m currently on lexapro and I was attending CBT/Talk therapy biweekly for about 4 months- then my therapist had to drop all of her clients after a family emergency. Luckily I was able to find a new one quickly but my first appointment is still about a month away, so as of right now I have just been taking lexapro without therapy for about 2 1/2 months. 
It sucks because I feel like I had made great strides in my confidence and controlling my triggers, but now i can barely think about my triggers without becoming overwhelmed. The biggest issue is that i feel like each day I care less and less about myself- I cant get myself to do school work, to eat meals, or shower. I’m thankful I still have the lexapro, but I feel as though I’m losing a lot of progress now. ",5.598989334687662,5.966083921787707,6.116140172676487,80.1963941086846,67.32402234636871,9.86104621635348,33.59116302691721,9.800150414767053,3.101163128491621,718,31,143,15,11,233,112,179,0.061,0.7659999999999999,0.173,0.9766,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,16,8,1,1,7,0,12,4,0,4,1,24,28,13,0,0,7,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,5,2,1,6,0,0,2,3,3,0,2,7,4,22,5,27,21,5,32,0,2,0,0,1,6,1,2,25,97,25,2,0.12920493787201745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139229229723088,0.09935062187872996,0.0,0.07876213088990593,0.14269670276322138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317330452182324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449143243423319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499794882088943,0.0,0.0,0.13114029219752182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220890749117492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218029164807412,0.0,0.2613195950483957,0.1846080668642731,0.0,0.0,0.11809097247021405,0.10990165414956493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750424730097837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244890013739953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733880706267396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485638664166882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624601250153447,0.0,0.0,0.11434230417445275,0.0,0.1445472761356306,0.0,0.10984541776648683,0.0,0.12225683625920535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302081880492838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093904461673029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478693412372292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557884768671874,0.0,0.08755260975215344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510336581558584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034031097891628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13076229504890305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063664605708307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714603352684012,0.10385003486546687,0.0,0.1189545475616888,0.2955142135572848,0.15001689133912874,0.0,0.0827893071216569,0.1269431954499563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435514400420149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24909789883932945,0.0,0.09406273359421184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320374383929212
mentalhealth,SoniSoni67432,2019/04/05,"I think Reddit is causing my social anxiety to come back Or at least, whatever amount of social anxiety I still have, Reddit boosts it. I get a lot of great or helpful comments when I ask a question or say something, and a lot of people are great. But it seems like sometimes no matter what I say or intend, I get downvotes or rude, snarky, unhelpful comments. 

This brings back unpleasant memories of times when my social anxiety was at its peak, my sense of self practically didn't exist because everything I said or did was made fun or ignored. The peak of this was during a time in grade/middle school, and when I was 18/19. Regarding the latter, I had practically no friends at college, people treated me like a joke, I felt so much pressure to ""present well"" (hair, clothes, makeup) to ""make up"" for being such a terrible person. 

Anyway, when this happens on Reddit it brings up these unpleasant memories. I guess this is just a rant of sorts. I'd love to hear if others have had self-esteem or anxiety issues due to Reddit. Just another reason I feel better mentally when I'm not on social media.",6.225192307692307,6.887061519230772,6.7615384615384615,75.08346153846155,66.01923076923077,9.66923076923077,32.346153846153854,9.661875296680813,3.1278923076923086,868,34,151,17,13,284,123,208,0.136,0.6990000000000001,0.165,0.8598,0,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,14,15,1,1,9,0,14,2,1,5,0,32,32,18,0,1,13,0,3,2,1,0,0,4,0,2,11,3,0,1,6,1,0,3,4,4,1,0,11,7,16,11,21,20,5,23,0,0,0,1,17,8,0,15,14,104,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222456910422355,0.3566759600721391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089689764695651,0.0,0.0,0.17925671784104807,0.0,0.07105461851424119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308889881903703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974044865528848,0.0,0.10040714269935608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475768014761004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058936839083284,0.0,0.11191702001649473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900548849486925,0.0,0.12179682001662875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570182432261579,0.12840529015218907,0.0,0.10307467387663433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137293063875305,0.0,0.07812850752232359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165959705212635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389181775413708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981923080736623,0.10520102330581137,0.1102930147141206,0.07780549831190484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746626233620795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568588511284435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161770310890342,0.10177673366096528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305752071925516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984431482505935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087638232994293,0.1853882707412864,0.0,0.1179661454783877,0.0,0.10611292810878707,0.24319748092370466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4752778103572792,0.0,0.08973449742836825,0.11528199570419012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308591555560493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468770293696543,0.0,0.0,0.1359355325320153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480250673004664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wickawickawacha,2019/04/05,"Traumatizing experience w/patient. I’m diagnosed with psychotic depression, social phobia, and a panic disorder. I work in health care in a low-octane branch and specifically chose it due to my mental health issues. 

Last year I was doing fine. Working 36 hours a week, no issue. Had a five year old come in who almost died—I am not a nurse, and his O2 went down to 20%. He was unresponsive, doctor on call was not helpful, and I had another patient. We are not in a hospital so I called 911. 

Since then I have extreme panic attacks when assigned pediatric patients. I see a doctor and take meds but nothing helps. My employer gave me a three month break from them but today I was to be assigned a 4 y/o similar to the one who almost died and I’m having a massive panic attack. 

I applied for intermittent FMLA because I’ve called in quite a bit due to panic attacks, paranoia, etc. I’m trying to work but it’s getting harder and harder. I have bills, I need a 401k, but sometimes I just can’t work and I can’t put patients at risk. I’m already working 30 hours a week. 

This job is supposed to be low stress; it’s the whole reason I took it. I can deal with occasional issues but the incident with the kid has left me almost traumatized. I can’t go back to retail. This job is what I’m licensed to do. It feels hopeless and I’m stressed beyond reason and can’t see my doctor until 5/1. 

I just want to do my job like everyone else but all my symptoms make it fucking impossible. ",2.4501010101010117,4.454720407407411,4.473063973063977,82.58515151515155,77.24915824915827,6.958922558922559,26.15151515151515,7.921354282810032,1.7119777777777778,1159,45,223,19,27,397,167,297,0.215,0.757,0.028,-0.9947,4,0,0,0,0,1,37.0,1,0,1,6,6,17,4,7,17,0,24,9,0,3,1,36,45,20,1,2,11,0,1,1,0,0,8,0,0,1,11,15,0,0,3,0,2,5,8,14,0,3,9,3,26,3,25,34,4,33,0,3,2,1,15,11,1,3,17,135,37,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398623011631308,0.0,0.08811189785298802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372535165745414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27250859611014816,0.0,0.06139654182541995,0.0,0.04867329838502594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717100501100163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24459466732605245,0.0,0.08140818112244445,0.0,0.0,0.06878014292081698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231758110525939,0.06877112678454934,0.08104187253836108,0.08286740214616098,0.0,0.09151027915642496,0.24517687948406375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670097486141878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904924611202351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629614601459149,0.0,0.0781045774848041,0.0,0.0,0.040372468596055984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381621585173934,0.041716169103268745,0.0,0.045378245299306015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974484210816967,0.0,0.0,0.10703800086545044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726418719366647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500150163018607,0.2377041026766493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650850371060812,0.0,0.0,0.08675276627549958,0.0,0.0,0.03900865661567833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053297735101792885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869075638768617,0.0,0.08046585227557101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373220790935283,0.0,0.0,0.05920469739748387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661426121130607,0.0,0.08378480411325916,0.0,0.054105624755264745,0.0,0.0,0.37472767671241547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026714820358746,0.0,0.08492590616955492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16418969567924632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272536339319025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604932488147948,0.0,0.0,0.08139280444755713,0.0,0.0,0.0789696024362822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292633786279416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299042648364056,0.06003415376588817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568454417347112,0.0,0.0887116942599202,0.054210101319199726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04709516008962785,0.0,0.12809507383239313,0.0,0.0,0.0740179170756181,0.0,0.08914505714844621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906437044943531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283623880877373
mentalhealth,BobGnarly423,2019/04/05,I feel like I’m slowly deteriorating I don’t know if it’s dumb to seek out any help for a diagnosis online but I don’t think I’m comfortable enough with my family to tell them I need help mostly because I wouldn’t even know what to say is wrong with me I’m 17 years old now and for the past 3 years I’ve had issues I never knew exactly how to deal with the first couple years I would just assume it was all part of being a teenager and I’m sure some of it is but this year and late last year I’ve realized I probably need more help than I let on to myself when I was 14 years old my older brother passed away of a heroin overdose I woke up that night to the sound of my mom screaming why since that night for the first year after that I regularly couldn’t sleep because I could still here my moms blood curdling screams but not loud they were vague and quiet like I was hearing them from far away about a year after my brothers passing I noticed i was going back and forth from being happy and content to be being the exact opposite month to month over time those intervals became much shorter and now it’s multiple times in a day that I’ll have a complete mood change most of the time twice but sometimes it goes over that I’ll wake up very well walk outside and look at the sky and feel great and then a couple hours nothing significant would happen but I’ll be in my room with my hands tightly wrapped around my head crying an angry feeling like the entire world is collapsing on me and after that I’m just out of it angry sad and irritable for the rest of the day and then maybe going right back to happy like a switch went off on top of this I still hear my mom not quite as often but usually every other night I used to ignore all this cuz it didn’t disrupt my life too much but at this point I can’t go places with my friends with out having to find the nearest bathroom to have an existential crisis in then walking out and doing my best to hide what just happened but my friends can always tell ,7.093779904306222,5.346409885167464,7.212196172248808,80.57987320574162,64.98086124401914,9.891100478468902,31.187081339712922,8.238735603445708,2.0267527272727275,1604,43,341,16,20,519,217,418,0.121,0.738,0.141,0.8847,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,3,5,18,20,1,0,21,0,29,6,5,3,6,71,54,30,0,8,14,5,5,4,2,3,1,8,1,0,21,25,0,2,10,0,0,8,9,6,1,3,10,14,38,13,59,33,12,79,0,1,1,0,19,29,1,6,46,229,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587458232847877,0.0,0.0,0.05383733425495259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047680134133003,0.0,0.0,0.14876293264716434,0.12175146865841448,0.0,0.09652083629851263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08308251732365758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374983700248084,0.0,0.08300672683267707,0.0,0.0,0.06320965156986587,0.17519700726457915,0.08696294350912673,0.10211434093508384,0.08161930703256616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180228351784231,0.0,0.05229008591169703,0.0,0.06670292463858032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463307067423268,0.0,0.12009000504244392,0.11311606732744567,0.0,0.0,0.0723586277653039,0.13468147000661446,0.0,0.0,0.12233086307080797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497994787822507,0.0,0.0,0.08728361469983544,0.0,0.0,0.1400169887869455,0.16855280427820313,0.0,0.0,0.08124978065175371,0.0,0.17845743735430078,0.0,0.159195046905316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07796508235205375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263140592935389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870179380955104,0.06453294126797171,0.08930558177929179,0.0,0.0,0.08095521440307668,0.05591909381759904,0.15471103394895902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648164962079631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953545750235529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781637749344083,0.12638317538911406,0.0,0.11639599878243513,0.11740496525223255,0.06105967252707248,0.0,0.0,0.2228829860124068,0.0,0.07596436660210959,0.09013392802444174,0.16614816810127558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573183340934475,0.07557534673328549,0.0,0.0,0.08271429295584617,0.0,0.07483987686247602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535709566361997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420550649816091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760951597417908,0.0,0.06295801492586175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548904929436458,0.0,0.07922573259964101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829972821048788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644822539211775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746154290066579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138393618399107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05072801528901268,0.0,0.0,0.13849146850367025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683762152391387,0.08719298180263063,0.06532235156355644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711820414160493,0.07339004643468452,0.07143730972602408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247814431229017,0.08655839009970306,0.0,0.4078556457423081
mentalhealth,Harleywaynemua,2019/04/05,"Dissassocoation Obligatory new poster formatting yadda  
     So I've been struggling with depression and anxiety on and off. Ever since I was young I repressed all of the bad things that happened to me, however I've starting using CBD oil, which calms me, but it makes me remember. When I remet things it's like watching a movie, there are 2 mes  the me that the scenario is happening too, then the now adult need watching it happen, bit as I watch it happen, I can feel it. I can feel the pain of getting hit, bit the person getting hit doesn't look like me. I don't understand what's happening and I'm terrified. I told my therapist all of this and I'm out of work for the day as she says stress exacerbates it. I would love to know of anyone can can help me with ways to cope or anything. Much love and thanks 🖤🖤🖤🖤",2.789038961038962,4.566725830303035,4.167640692640696,86.1743181818182,75.54545454545455,7.865800865800867,25.725108225108233,8.634040054169528,1.7526017316017322,642,23,135,13,14,212,103,165,0.13,0.7170000000000001,0.152,0.7826,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,6,12,0,3,8,0,11,3,0,2,3,23,35,12,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,2,13,8,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,8,17,6,16,29,5,12,0,1,4,2,8,3,0,1,10,82,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337481135289828,0.0,0.0,0.09448670627910903,0.0,0.1112012627580543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282870370804947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950560103473655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714828741595176,0.0,0.11638809426128024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223368595640385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665254301385174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412006942105701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5974792898912227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057543126562484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426443935344987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320363185967605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347596931018668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439219270324934,0.0,0.09020096233662236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933680091425152,0.10019789152207187,0.0,0.13051031921085487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437888644614845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117991138401237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307703076858925,0.0,0.0,0.10746155984857754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178172308101048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564638606338112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479205336234916,0.14126821512686108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441042872698838,0.0,0.15689745495532414,0.1795500051696199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912341922124385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067609068534653,0.0,0.11670975895273347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726066292271176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837694525818468,0.0,0.0,0.09599315393683902,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,industrialsugar,2019/04/05,"Ways to find motivation/start caring Hey Reddit, it's been about 4 years since I have felt like I wanted something in my life. I don't hate my current situation so it's not that I'm unhappy, I just don't have the drive for anything and it's causing me to be lazy and not care much about my future. I'm looking for any tips or ways I can work on this? Thanks! ",0.4734615384615388,2.4225260256410297,2.5842948717948717,93.90028846153848,83.61538461538461,5.438461538461539,20.006410256410245,6.6274283507984215,0.06276410256410259,282,8,66,3,8,95,56,78,0.067,0.742,0.191,0.8614,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,1,0,7,1,0,1,0,10,16,4,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,2,9,4,8,13,1,8,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,4,38,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696368876192776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18994298272884308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4706672701178146,0.2371129633037178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22162081868114436,0.0,0.21096284362832346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22788431157871802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303309514302744,0.1127656807161032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19382841115500166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696772841640017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909344675588124,0.2594483320981755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769444523348632,0.0,0.0,0.16337368304567385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21250557168935327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614203222282362,0.3664240808009576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803775380453845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863878274257594
mentalhealth,feetery,2019/04/05,"Sexual rejection quickly leads to suicidal ideation I've been married for a decade. I've had bouts of depression as well as ups and downs in my sexual relationship with my wife. Until fairly recently, I thought the two were unrelated. A year ago I saw a counselor and talked through job stress, general family life, and faith issues. I also took anti-depressants for a few months. Overall, things looked up and I went off the meds. With some clearer hindsight now, I can track a clear relationship between suicidal ideation and sexual frustration. If we haven't had sex in a few weeks I start to feel worthless and somehow as a coping mechanism my mind will start thinking of ways I could end everything. I can trace these thought patterns back to being a teenager with guilt and feelings of worthlessness because of masturbation and what my religion taught.

I don't know how to go forward. Telling my wife this seems unfair and coercive. I.e., ""have sex with me or I'll fantasize about killing myself."" From what I've read, you can't just choose to change your sexual desire. It seems like life would be much easier if sex for me was a nice thing that happened occasionally versus a basic physiological and psychological need that if unfulfilled turns into mental chaos.",6.8492631004366835,8.501425244541487,6.790128275109173,71.87287800218344,65.11353711790393,10.615829694323146,33.96315502183406,10.686352973137794,3.9908884279475982,1027,45,171,28,16,326,153,229,0.17,0.755,0.075,-0.9771,1,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,1,2,0,1,9,12,2,2,12,0,16,5,0,2,1,42,35,20,3,7,6,2,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,16,0,0,9,1,0,5,3,8,1,1,11,4,20,4,31,19,4,25,1,4,2,3,9,8,0,8,14,115,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996553247761645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822664749265813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406358520285858,0.0,0.08249842390141264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431655551208967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805328320496008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23312615984105844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198658617156156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162958136231468,0.0,0.1275809646427984,0.0,0.1368579956031316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07691349961514299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967551605769468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412536611855815,0.1342982324764475,0.0,0.14972715322458516,0.0,0.07437609348750457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911809836242887,0.06611741542247569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364657668566346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032569929263806,0.0,0.1363849628210268,0.0,0.1366488825663498,0.0,0.1080224040435338,0.0,0.09948615051659697,0.10034853574573263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537074411479172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362611743997474,0.290596396673135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464062015274709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19158037449754275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502477810688625,0.0,0.0,0.2960671250327109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877643991734316,0.11828798665429514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798199526777579,0.08671664004334367,0.0,0.21488034986219975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036118777434096,0.0,0.1472046612372421,0.1322017711849061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742192579012223,0.10855686846115398,0.0,0.12168162755547195,0.12545608581732234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613747647628466,0.0,0.0,0.08715073667868703
mentalhealth,DefinitelyNotZiti,2019/04/05,"What are ways to help emotional dependency I’m realizing I’m really emotionally dependent. I know I really do love my s.o, we’ve been dating for almost a year and half but I’ve been needing him more lately. I don’t know if it’s the long distance finally taking its toll on me, all I know is that I’ve been feeling even more horrible about myself than before. I don’t want to ruin things, I just want to be happy without having to depend on him so heavily and think it’s not worth it anymore.  ",3.0461764705882364,4.475699450980393,5.578578431372549,77.77610294117648,74.09803921568627,9.02156862745098,25.495098039215684,9.516144504307137,2.3383686274509805,392,13,77,10,8,140,71,102,0.119,0.731,0.15,-0.2021,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,10,1,0,3,1,21,22,5,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,6,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,3,1,11,2,10,18,3,8,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,5,5,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052202598728825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20324784079366048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439093028772773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4610653436657407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536255541516787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036250605887115,0.0,0.0,0.22450443654753688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181650489924558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736860428272674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33789303255664405,0.0,0.2311840103475337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813676191521144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849685626786708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196222991303382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26258276273668785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409121705255158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13615465730864112,0.13131884679356434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417607338580979,0.16267377758238588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19755720848232436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197621854507322
mentalhealth,PhantomStranger52,2019/04/05,"Can you feel too much? Psychopathy is the condition of having no emotion at all. What's the other side of the spectrum, feeling too much? My first thought would be depression and while it's true I do feel crushing overwhelming negative emotions, when the happy moments come I always wonder if I enjoy them too much. Then there's a residual feeling similar to I ""overstayed my welcome"". But now that I type that out, it also sounds like depression. Like I'm making myself pay for having a happy moment. Sorry, this was probably more or a rant or attempt of breaking introversion than a question. ",4.0929858215179316,6.890471192660552,5.054361968306921,76.47452043369475,75.60550458715595,7.633361134278567,31.01000834028357,8.575989854853784,3.0738183486238526,476,23,74,10,11,155,80,109,0.172,0.6509999999999999,0.177,0.1485,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,1,2,7,10,0,1,8,0,8,0,0,1,2,18,17,9,0,2,4,0,4,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,7,0,1,1,2,3,0,1,2,5,10,7,8,13,5,12,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,5,9,63,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204755896522347,0.14779917675395027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300919041990074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30597826601443345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39961099648586496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592524512341921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108870286061624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3781726552385021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355831827811935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856682688967565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39172694966888105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915110202336298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989819270255088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19883791983842508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101531311680568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926279704253708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618051260859053,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Konichi_Waffles,2019/04/05,"I often forgo the things I need to do to attempt things that may make me happy. I’m not sure if this is depression, or delusion, or escapism, but oftentimes after school, I tend to cling on to what makes me happy, instead of doing what I need to do. I can barely get out of bed if I know what I’m about to do/go through is sad or difficult, and even if it isn’t sad or difficult, I just try to block it out. It’s seriously affecting school and my relationship with my parents. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I recognize that the stuff I need to do is more important than the stuff that makes me comfortable. Why can’t I get out of bed in the morning???",4.499130434782606,4.086052644927541,5.930253623188406,83.26972826086958,69.65217391304347,9.798550724637682,29.568840579710145,9.516144504307137,2.2841275362318845,507,17,115,10,8,173,72,138,0.195,0.71,0.095,-0.9343,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,0,0,4,0,13,0,0,4,1,29,25,10,0,6,10,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,15,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,16,4,22,24,1,6,0,3,0,0,2,5,0,9,1,86,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419681929344053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057796496250427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493791883456833,0.0,0.09514746875933892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564390029360749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200851693076166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33525830838718546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37241482513556096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589780062814426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17974420428393725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33887176988869755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.383306954921218,0.0,0.0,0.15778941936132435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22245006943285955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136657860542712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021372864156187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830452266576724,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,the_pomade_prince,2019/04/05,"Do I have an ego problem? I’m in a relationship with a girl and as soon as something goes her way I always get really annoyed with it. It just seems her whole life has been filled with a lot of privileges and advantages. She has admitted to me her struggles as well and I acknowledge them, but she also has a lot going for her and she will definitely be successful with her life. Her parents are well off, she got into her dream school, and just won a huge scholarship today. Why can’t I be happy for her? Am I so down on my own luck in life? I just want to be genuinely happy for her, but I feel like I can’t until I get a victory in my own life.  What can I do? Is there anything I can do?",1.772755102040815,3.1033675850340146,4.037840136054424,87.93186224489797,77.23129251700679,7.8931972789115665,23.1343537414966,8.59863814320734,1.3189823129251703,533,16,122,11,12,185,84,147,0.034,0.6709999999999999,0.295,0.992,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,3,9,13,1,1,7,0,19,4,0,0,0,24,29,13,0,2,5,1,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,10,0,0,4,1,1,2,2,3,2,0,3,1,28,10,21,22,5,14,0,0,0,0,18,8,0,4,4,99,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537592633020135,0.14085740444723668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393058683545184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559480663819613,0.12093614169402216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688724778298062,0.0,0.09620769467523158,0.0,0.13539145182952414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604107940228522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4782796724182533,0.08270335048476475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878374977451821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879692552711671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198141440799382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844732285453804,0.0,0.0,0.18174708955349025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17132390486377067,0.0,0.1541093092971884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303226823091597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697183369183378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16046093165234726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998477740313454,0.13436933554648334,0.0,0.0,0.30441233151578595,0.0,0.1527519974020526,0.1889989439515624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chaneymadison,2019/04/05,"Living With Borderline Personality Disorder If you have BPD or know someone who does, this is a helpful post about what it can feel like to live with this illness.",6.7940000000000005,8.098055066666667,6.780000000000001,73.17000000000002,65.0,10.0,35.0,10.125756701596842,3.655,132,6,23,3,2,42,28,30,0.161,0.6920000000000001,0.147,-0.1343,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,5,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38081708309080986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465355305424668,0.0,0.26460091980001504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528844076666885,0.2160090210442111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026683273182301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661714384649251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771985880357685,0.0,0.5339861973768648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26401272755769883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895812904406675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25619217716317816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CatnipR6,2019/04/05,"Noticing i am keep forgetting peoples names. Im a 27 year old male and over the last few months ive really been noticing i am forgetting peoples names alot. Like literally drawing a blank. I would probably not give this a 2nd thought but its happening more often with people ive knew a long time. 

For example, a colleague ive worked with nearly every day for 3 years, i literally could not think what he was called today and was to embarrased to ask him so i just ended up calling him ""mate""for a bit. 

Is this anything to be concerned about or anyone had any similar experiences?",5.040803571428572,6.392702901785718,6.095000000000002,76.3,69.08928571428571,9.528571428571428,32.75,9.827888789773867,3.3456214285714285,463,21,84,11,8,154,82,112,0.0,0.982,0.018000000000000002,0.1901,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,8,0,13,0,0,0,0,21,20,5,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,10,1,11,11,4,13,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,3,11,54,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576118524695225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902769216589425,0.0,0.1400835122025085,0.0,0.1591406241618093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18584538161157235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34764456586322345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591356789923947,0.0,0.0,0.10978326937007712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077188264778546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342481332812032,0.0,0.0,0.16651609106080734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329864325483473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150532458571674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838759403105384,0.0,0.0,0.1513068703220564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875890907368146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316502343847677,0.0,0.0,0.15064682389968112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358747269045126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876124434267664,0.1786261256448094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3540449261106774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18353506353909346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905270577519297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907551899342817,0.0,0.13514237677447913,0.09926157973482884,0.0,0.16135666890890454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392834100728115,0.0,0.0,0.12092540873502355,0.0,0.0,0.21924308481361784
mentalhealth,souptastesgood11,2019/04/05,"I need help i dont know where to start I am extremely unwell mentally.

My family denied it my whole life and said it was hormones or whatever.

I tried to take my life before but I didn't succeed.

My teachers all noticed it and my boss now does as well. 

My boss thinks I need to see a therapist and get help but I don't even know how to do that.

I literally can't function on my own. My current boyfriend takes care of me and tells me he doesn't know how I could make it on my own. I can't make it on my own.

If anything goes wrong, any stress, I can't cope. My body goes numb and seems to shut down.

I cry at everything. I can't find joy. I can't work, I can't focus and I can't remember things or simple tasks.

I have no motivation, no ambition. I'm afraid of everything. 

I am so scared I can't even ask for help besides the internet.bi can't talk to people. If anyone talks to me I shut down and run away.

I can't even believe I can keep a job. But here I am, sitting on the toilet, talking to Reddit.

My dad just had a heart attack and his job needs to be covered and my family is asking me to leave my job to cover his with no pay. I can't even function on my own, how can I just take over his job I don't even know how to do and face strangers and strange places.

I hate my life, my situation, my family, everything.

This life is so pointless.

Whenever anyone asks for help I would rather just try to kill myself than help.

I am so unwell ..",0.07581082389388882,2.0067799424920167,2.397269822828928,94.76890115209606,85.03833865814696,5.9664633556007365,19.38900183948107,7.229369725052465,0.2569689030883917,1114,31,267,17,33,379,146,313,0.181,0.738,0.08,-0.9871,5,0,0,0,0,2,37.0,0,0,0,3,20,12,3,3,5,0,32,8,3,9,1,47,57,26,1,8,11,1,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,8,12,0,1,9,0,1,1,19,8,1,0,4,2,55,4,30,50,6,19,0,0,1,0,18,14,0,5,3,177,63,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059116030860743074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156829093190866,0.0,0.07153676953789481,0.0,0.2438061262696458,0.09889651186104266,0.08167449446566358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397184052733245,0.09794141834045317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656069459380638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863190297352151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06940729448463102,0.0,0.09548957286557462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607386514433293,0.0,0.1018824326442425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287085381849346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343838129095103,0.0,0.2458523051113413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945331861636938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04541783640672144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582632137550962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301360105245924,0.29133993587564405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450622394352325,0.0772682276560971,0.09617622258170506,0.0,0.1910999192319484,0.0,0.0,0.09204733023979372,0.0,0.0,0.24560761943906045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605417591004677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760595695957463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933746064446991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897146923099613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602669790494373,0.0,0.09082434638844566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847582662315273,0.0,0.08269124585260801,0.0,0.08703305187654636,0.0,0.0692727166985606,0.07913867716456137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771403646321704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061530177870691725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995791160373118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960837799706843,0.2096154278999152,0.07598148691267062,0.0,0.0,0.10093353976241884,0.05775306422685654,0.05570184628994055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804082523552167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816136915610307,0.0,0.0,0.09705530754785237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328677108720261,0.0,0.0,0.061753256753354024,0.09504535340026728,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thefirststoryteller,2019/04/05,"Gift Ideas For Anxiety Sufferers Hey /r/mentalhealth. My fiancee deals with anxiety and depression. Her birthday is coming up. I've been looking at weighted blankets, but I'm a bit confused by their weight guidelines and I need more gift ideas. I'm open to any suggestions, thank you!",3.454033613445376,6.6551718823529376,3.6788795518207316,81.66352941176471,85.07843137254902,7.620168067226891,32.77591036414566,8.418075326091056,3.5533675070028012,230,13,37,6,7,71,43,51,0.184,0.649,0.16699999999999998,0.378,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,10,8,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,3,5,1,6,7,2,4,0,2,1,0,7,3,0,1,0,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533168688004611,0.0,0.3449443254798802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24613804643524276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420918698746292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324338075254042,0.19418372881857948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5090216339250481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932509370320846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717173967843116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20756831794058955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5490859644529863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aYxst,2019/04/05,"Just a thought from someone suffering from depression. Golden rays of sunshine on a beautiful Sunday morning. That is what I live for, a morning cup of coffee as the spring breeze rolls through the open window. The feeling of happiness to me has always been fleeting, I tend to try and find it in bright colors, the smiles of loved ones, the humor of a joke, my favorite songs, or the chuckles of shining light on an uncomfortable situation for someone. I live to make the world a better place for the people without a voice. I live for all the people who never had the chance to dream. I live to fight another day because I have people who love me; I live to fight another day because there will be another 'Sunday morning' Coffee' there will be another playoff Penguins' game. I live for my friends and family for all the time and resources they have invested in helping me succeed in my lifetime. Even in times you don't feel alive, it's okay to live, just to be alive. ",8.476950483091787,7.325934581521742,8.031159420289857,73.8969323671498,61.8804347826087,10.786473429951696,38.92270531400965,9.725611199111238,3.7493980676328498,769,34,138,12,9,244,105,184,0.097,0.664,0.239,0.9823,0,0,0,0,2,0,18.0,0,1,1,2,5,16,2,0,18,1,12,2,0,1,3,16,19,5,0,0,4,0,2,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,6,4,0,0,4,4,1,0,3,4,0,1,3,9,16,12,31,11,2,17,0,2,4,2,11,9,0,1,8,96,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906695531337982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4570470133006965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328509538268935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963727539704422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054983475976715,0.0,0.09385340722962322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197189804255981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272470697867912,0.0,0.11019431884202034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995941714232111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418789385103152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599775591097965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303850870251312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6735410813359163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19669455106484213,0.0,0.07273654323850602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404232750834904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383908728844484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266326925218748,0.0,0.1138476740951176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248385174394155,0.0,0.0,0.1846553411561653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08650789338704266,0.12707946037473564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398166865884555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504062384795476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,laa-dee-frickin-daa,2019/04/05,Life is a practice and practice makes progress. There is no such thing as perfect. Try not to be so hard on yourself. ❤️,0.4462666666666699,2.7569621600000005,1.3480000000000023,100.24066666666668,87.4,3.333333333333334,28.333333333333336,3.1291,0.3655333333333339,94,5,21,0,3,29,23,25,0.138,0.643,0.22,0.5321,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,4,4,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5503654115912335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43395603135831023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101046190301837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.408167964950072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171249098416229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,creepydemise,2019/04/05,"Having a bad time lately but also got a scholarship for mental health first aid! Been having a horrid month and a half causing me to defer uni and have to up the dosage of my antidepressants. 
On the plus side I won a scholarship for Youth Week for a two day mental health first aid course being run by our local youth focused counselling service. 

Hopefully even though I feel like shit maybe I’ll be able to help someone else someday. ",6.674698795180722,7.1405405662650665,6.23821686746988,79.90407228915666,65.02409638554218,8.567710843373495,28.648192771084343,8.238735603445708,1.9136525301204823,349,10,63,4,5,108,63,83,0.149,0.6579999999999999,0.193,0.6588,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,3,3,5,1,0,8,0,6,3,1,1,0,7,10,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,4,3,1,5,3,11,5,0,14,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,10,40,5,3,0.19212484099544155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536421659312614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604162171712241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19736513492546165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239046283505268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049565173055558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689664550495916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971440923128596,0.13725402479550186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268425832074041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365978628229265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4084394436311161,0.0,0.0,0.12877723110140782,0.0,0.0,0.19082331746421816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21672518901189816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386249270980404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930152261137024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.387233302957086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335221510466054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19721338837366906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278675430676331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18876168080692327,0.0,0.11202953981148604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767805282128788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15411095865478233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,difficult_tree,2019/04/05,"Go to bed. I have developmental trauma and an ED. I also had PTSD but am not currently symptomatic. 
I used alcohol, drugs, food and distructive behaviours to cope. I’m not perfect and still fucked up in my own ways... but the worst of the feelings and the behaviours happened when I chose to stay away and face my emptiness (often alcohol fuelled) at night.

Every time I’ve chosen my bed and sleep over staying awake I’ve felt better. It’s not a cure or a quick fix. It’s a therapy. 

Don’t stay up on your phone waiting for that person to call or text back. Don’t wait for someone to save you. Choose sleep. Choose rest. ",1.8727204502814239,4.2568634390243965,3.2577235772357724,88.55836772983116,81.27642276422766,6.711444652908067,23.28267667292057,7.882392219407189,1.2834732958098811,485,17,99,9,13,158,85,123,0.163,0.775,0.062,-0.9365,1,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,2,6,6,1,0,7,0,5,8,3,1,1,23,14,12,0,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,3,6,3,2,4,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,2,2,9,3,15,12,3,19,0,0,0,1,5,7,1,3,7,61,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524327540026575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186180987823873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491880327194707,0.12678959392323513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583107151219005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683702785424042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19121908864618986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892623754946806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337291884496931,0.0,0.15831946151744822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19938463917875845,0.0,0.0,0.152437380909896,0.0,0.0,0.09371031532700837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581094869958314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473731638340066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397486339284182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927466162184308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300165024788821,0.0,0.13971005886949978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5272497488614095,0.13168070435980153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885651364176005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614820117790998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424113016410658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088134838744112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jetskicorn,2019/04/05,"How can I help him ? I just don't know what to do anymore. My boyfriend is feeling really low at the moment and doesn't want to talk about it. He just flees days after days in the bed trying to think about something else, and when he doesn't manage that he gets angry. Not so long ago, he was taken by the emergencies for a night to calm down. I hoped that it would click and that he would try to do something about it. I am scared for him. 

​",2.032340425531917,3.636743457446812,2.6754787234042574,96.80875,77.19148936170212,5.5510638297872354,19.196808510638302,5.985473137389443,-0.3506127659574467,351,7,81,2,8,109,62,94,0.118,0.789,0.093,-0.3432,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,4,0,11,0,0,1,0,14,18,6,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,2,2,7,2,15,14,0,13,0,1,1,0,9,4,0,1,8,53,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19234886304475285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23510896605725265,0.26366704003434066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21519613158563272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798816640408189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181267603461048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971684661908143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11336850795113695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544406537125892,0.0,0.0,0.21552038991870226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925222790722027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920296416632275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20363075496318964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900958195017088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21724520616349224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33409956298728755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17440863314686414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903866197993514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946444237112883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798653725523151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30828745414280245,0.0,0.26366704003434066,0.0
mentalhealth,sorrynotzorro,2019/04/05,Kleptomania - A personal account and some strategies to quit [https://youtu.be/jIgU\_THL5f4](https://youtu.be/jIgU_THL5f4),34.909,45.3308439,15.450000000000005,2.105000000000018,10.0,16.0,60.0,13.023866798666859,11.452,109,5,5,3,1,23,10,10,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6345098727222845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7729147568897557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wheniswhen,2019/04/05,"All out of hope Hello all! 

I've tried it all as it seems. 

SSRIs

1. Celexa 
2. Lexapro
3. Paxil
4. Prozac
5. Setraline 
6. Luvox
7. Paxil 

SNRIs

1. Cymbalta 
2. Effexor ER

Atypical Antidepressants (adjunct therapy)

1. Wellbutrin
2. Buspar 
3. Trazadone 

Clinical Treatment 

1. TMS
2. Ketamine (IV)

Atypical-antipsychotics 

1. Risperdal 
2. Zyprexa 
3. Brexapriprozal 
4. Seroqual 
5. Latuda 

Mood Stabilizers 

1. Lithium IR/ER
2. Lamictal 

Benzodiazapines 

1. Klonopin 
2. Xanax

Stimulants

1. Various Amphetamine Salts 
2. Various Methlyphendiate formulations
3. Methamphetamine 
4. Modafinil 

Non-Stimulants

1. Strattera
2. Clonidine 
3. Tenex 

TCAs

1. Anafrinil 

Others

1. Buspar 

Therapies

1. IOP
2. Inpatient 
3. Hospitalization
4. Residential

Currently diagnosed with Severe Treatment Resistant Depression with OCD (principle), ADD-Pi, and various other anxiety disorders

​

Are there currently any other forms of treatment besides the ones listed above which helped others? Didn't include the dose, mix, or length because it would more than likely be the length of a novel haha. For the most part though, i've tried various combinations, dosages and lengths of time spent on each. 

​

Some were either ineffective or included side-effects that ultimately outweighed the benefits. 

​

So yeah, any insight? Also happy to answer any questions about my experience or clarifying my treatment. ",4.971049428945889,7.730281087155963,5.468955251825502,63.777083879423344,105.10091743119268,9.119041378019098,37.476502527616546,8.290611406555254,5.677997828122074,1119,72,135,40,49,357,151,218,0.042,0.88,0.078,0.846,2,0,2,0,0,0,74.0,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,6,2,5,6,0,1,3,22,8,9,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,3,1,2,5,13,3,14,5,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,8,4,59,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025449541324198,0.0,0.4074993859054132,0.4569972753456264,0.2557578800365102,0.0,0.0959040255491799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642145490263795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079768525772621,0.12724302672943652,0.0,0.0,0.1436793663819587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226312093897634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345357359961413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402964281668727,0.0,0.0,0.12451591846222172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124709833276204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495069574914145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357582816698755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404377015389674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412775861187995,0.0,0.14162697846417618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867320359326497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231706605276583,0.0,0.07310144918292241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022946669696706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890558325303958,0.0,0.4569972753456264,0.0
mentalhealth,alittlebirddd211,2019/04/05,"Urgent help needed.. Is this an anxiety attack or am I dying right now Hi guys.. Now it is 20 minutes until my work starts, a woek which I hate and which often puts me into some sort of an anxiety attack.. I am on a break now, whivh means I have already worked today. 

My heart is fluttering like crazy now, my head aches a little, my hands are sweating, and  I am trembling,.. Yesterdsy I had nausea and extreme stomachache at night, and this morning I woke up earlier than usual, which is odd for me because I love sleeping

I have some burning feeling inside my throat

Is this just an anxiety attack? I need someone to talk to.. I am under so much stress and I feel like everything is unbearable ",3.06988888888889,5.132174007407412,4.356018518518521,83.86958333333334,75.5925925925926,6.87037037037037,26.064814814814817,7.793537801064563,1.6519259259259256,541,20,100,8,12,178,88,135,0.172,0.722,0.106,-0.8214,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,7,9,4,2,6,0,14,7,6,0,0,17,23,8,1,2,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,2,3,19,3,11,21,3,18,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,5,11,73,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653978323372777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439765415080841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5115351296268185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136629946412857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15555321154544516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470372194899044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156906058325315,0.10707528941917377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484061327338411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797683492248848,0.15382153895691605,0.0,0.0,0.17761015960379475,0.10046233115077996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464489451217423,0.15022052025528496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527379923044788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632647644909817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018006151844946,0.2222702915800656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406535239879084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067218666563054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799788149404626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998962478064065,0.0,0.12699400878753578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608681378392164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168861695830914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046897763776047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207002519243273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650731674539423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21823086269710676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ashtheuncanny01,2019/04/05,"I was just diagnosed with autism.. Personally, I dont think i'm autistic at all

Its hard to explain, but my parents seem to take what i tell them out of context - my mum particularly - and will misinterpret what I say. Granted, i'm not very honest (I dont want them to overreact to what i have to say)

I have pretty violent impulses and i often take pleasure in watching people in films and on the news suffer a grotesque, bloody death (i even giggle on some occasions). This obviously isn't normal, but i dont think it makes me autistic, so is there any way i can ""take a step back"" with my diagnosis and do more asessments?",4.090162601626016,5.362462406504073,5.569268292682931,79.47552845528458,71.27642276422766,8.71869918699187,29.92682926829269,9.150863307647796,2.5134000000000003,488,20,97,10,9,165,81,123,0.205,0.682,0.113,-0.9129,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,6,5,1,0,3,0,11,1,0,1,2,23,22,7,1,2,4,2,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,6,7,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,4,17,3,14,20,3,9,0,1,1,0,9,6,0,3,1,67,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817753593829525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362742381321008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638479833429374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6110126815004797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147811939904446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556742962764033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160006545154104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026919849003772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19296404598810754,0.0,0.0,0.12047837073643886,0.15173950395875996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679849553173782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763964142901565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820436062013618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3919867016949968,0.0,0.15189289215677182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22270463175260968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433881275198169,0.10250096715124936,0.1379398487607897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,curiousquestioner16,2019/04/05,"Sister is mental.... worried she will hurt our mom My [f24] sister [f38] is MENTAL. not exaggerating. 
1. Severe alcoholic
2. SEVERE bipolar
3. To keep it short, most recently stabbed herself in the stomach 

Ok so she hasnt talked to anyone in a year because ""pity me. Everyone is so mean to me. I'm the best. Nobody is as smart or good as me. You all hate me."" I've been trying to stay in contact with her since marcg 2018 (her last freak out) and she ignores me or tells me fuck off or other mean shit. She puts our family on blast by LYING on Facebook. I finally had plans with her for xmas and she randomly blew me off. 

Anyway she starts pulling her stunts again. Drunk texting our mom mean shit in the middle of the night and ultimately stabbing herself. She was hospitalized once already a couple weeks ago. Now she is going to my moms house every day. She has threatened to kill my mom before. 

I cant really help because I live on the other side of the country. My dad (still married to my mom) works in another state most of the time. No other family by her.

Help. 

TLDR- sister might kill my mom but mom feels guilty and wants to help her",0.8015339233038361,3.3227782389380565,2.594017699115046,89.88247197640119,89.61946902654867,5.137227138643068,19.48023598820059,6.742157984588678,0.4149715634218292,886,27,176,12,30,292,137,226,0.18,0.768,0.051,-0.9796,0,0,1,0,0,0,38.0,3,1,0,3,6,14,6,0,9,1,13,7,3,0,1,24,24,12,2,1,5,11,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,7,2,2,4,1,0,3,4,10,0,0,3,1,37,4,29,19,4,32,0,2,0,1,38,14,3,7,13,112,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552072492036406,0.09104814568707173,0.0,0.0,0.09401542070761172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933497463760907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059570717540954665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038688471454857,0.0,0.07249514794127379,0.0,0.08940748571286612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426726842498122,0.0,0.054944089155761294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717809350720298,0.08140801004989298,0.0,0.0,0.16062958646328188,0.0,0.043077435766914765,0.0,0.0,0.09332757336710727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876192384284011,0.0,0.0,0.048418600969253565,0.07145799496376254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411297895276602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131436721276627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830423946969284,0.09120361071067516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07572572961759702,0.1885125321957436,0.0,0.0,0.06944575357471132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522924171597177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27840882743339274,0.0,0.0,0.17171417569296632,0.09037902747634767,0.0,0.6984600841867826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995026322210752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907304925832201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564507054372324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457845829486977,0.0,0.08412033897522618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924934692294732,0.17490403930446202,0.07047464891230283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030185697408043,0.09080713299695864,0.06803728551652738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847696523455135,0.07446467595323268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04967821707247006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057842193918354975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05025054955127762,0.0,0.06833874056950999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202338349276345,0.08652022825911601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054863148400947886
mentalhealth,Rpg_wodehouse_______,2019/04/05,"Should I talk to someone about this? So there is this person that I'm close to that I can talk to about my thoughts, but she's also having some mental health problems and I'm the person she tales to about it. I feel I might just either make it worse for her if talk to her about my stuff or might drive her away. What should I do?",2.785211267605632,3.481803859154933,3.077577464788736,98.2896056338028,73.78873239436619,5.68,18.42535211267605,3.1291,-0.8542811267605637,258,3,63,0,5,79,45,71,0.117,0.883,0.0,-0.8426,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,0,16,13,6,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,8,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,12,0,11,8,2,3,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,5,0,50,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916691541097784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19874697695166685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696000246649752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485507280001607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120330205677362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21318061682026276,0.4488169190987178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36941376065403786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024133608694242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923551733942789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24216047618585265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5100788549729257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679375958267858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21557536203942276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tuskanraider85,2019/04/05,"Every day I think about loved ones dying in horrific ways. I’ve been like this since I was a child. I have a very active imagination which feels like a double-edged sword most days. For a long time I thought it was normal until I started opening up and talking to friends about it. 

It’s awful, to say the least. It usually happens right when I wake up or am alone in the shower or car. Every day I’m in pain thinking these things. I try to shift my thoughts, do deep breathing and have been exercising again, but somehow they’re always just there. 

I’m sad about things that haven’t and probably will never happen. Does anyone else experience this or had success quieting those thoughts?",4.5912030075188,6.1571335714285755,4.768428571428572,84.56407142857147,70.42857142857143,7.4252631578947375,27.58571428571429,7.908726449838941,1.6384592481203015,547,19,105,7,10,171,95,133,0.095,0.7909999999999999,0.114,0.3708,1,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,0,6,1,11,5,2,0,1,20,23,9,1,1,5,0,1,2,1,1,2,2,1,1,12,4,0,0,7,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,8,3,8,5,13,14,2,21,0,1,0,1,5,8,0,5,13,66,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307859669002328,0.0,0.0,0.13101734475279164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110098021619625,0.16133392839084568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30464139591315725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16341613928886434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779221514334578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153562820071604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26532965415445914,0.0,0.0,0.15402375581706282,0.0,0.0,0.07961529842448466,0.11248774767345217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165135849313488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784784881014156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538516690009327,0.0,0.0,0.13934502948707428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211164011048694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144101538407058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15427502587361888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669735121806258,0.0,0.16754599807276854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976593451314814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446793816146765,0.0,0.12521661094353562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025056168322685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144930641923984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655846211113345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209215678368284,0.20178495658930853,0.0,0.3750112612224735,0.09181479832786954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690338104743152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341731139782018,0.1299190181152101,0.0,0.12498252135613958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ephemeris_midheaven,2019/04/05,"I can't enjoy anything Yesterday I was at a concert. I haven't been to a concert or party in a long while. And I usually LOVE music. But I couldn't ""feel"" the music at all. I couldn't enjoy it. I know lack of pleasure is a symptom of depression. But I'm not depressed? I mean, my emotions are pretty weak now, but I'm not depressed. What could be wrong with me?",-0.5750649350649333,1.5852450649350658,2.2779350649350683,92.44547402597406,91.85714285714286,4.638441558441558,21.985714285714288,6.2581,0.4711412987012991,278,11,60,3,10,97,50,77,0.181,0.62,0.198,0.3188,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,5,0,10,3,0,0,1,16,16,6,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,3,10,4,7,10,2,8,0,3,0,1,1,3,0,1,5,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19887251316812252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19295256377276926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6244459523526225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718444379743685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219481139844915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281464011228122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21386894145268784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21811517892250665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632477502759163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24586365831396215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25118601523999945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661636152702763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642264728721179,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sticks_and_Stonings,2019/04/05,"The discrepancy between the use/understanding of the terms physical and mental heath is contributing to the stigma. I’ve noticed that when discussing physical health problems, most people are aware that a physical health problem ranges from the common cold through to terminal illness and everything in between.
However, when discussing mental health problems there appears to be an assumption of serious mental illness which automatically calls into question someone’s risk to others and their capacity to take care of themselves and make decisions. Mental health problems, like physical health problems, has a range from feeling a little flat for a few days to serious mental illness (potentially also terminal). This fuels the stigma and misunderstanding of mental health issues.

Equally, if someone talks of taking care of their physical health by eating well, exercising regularly etc. It seems that it is understood to be a sensible strategy to maintain or improve their health as a preventative measure. But, when talking of taking care of their mental health, it is assumed by some that there is a pre existing mental health condition.
There have been times when someone has said they need to take care of their mental health and the response is “oh! I didn’t know you had a mental health problem”.

Another terminology issue is the short-hand many people use. When someone says mental health, many people understand that to mean mental health problem. It doesn’t appear to happen with the same frequency when talking about physical health.

Has anyone else experienced these issues? Has anyone else got any ideas for improving the understanding of others, without necessarily lecturing them!",10.980293321299634,12.144161223826721,9.777759476534298,55.79638650722024,55.89530685920578,12.412364620938627,42.944268953068594,11.93303328291395,5.956328700361012,1397,71,173,38,16,437,145,277,0.117,0.8,0.08199999999999999,-0.8168,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,7,0,12,16,0,1,19,0,18,20,0,2,0,39,41,17,0,9,4,0,1,1,0,0,19,4,0,0,14,8,1,1,11,1,0,2,3,10,1,0,6,7,9,6,36,33,7,15,0,0,0,0,17,3,0,9,11,122,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03414074449798246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029031996353149132,0.0447662417982775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970242128243894,0.08748591498963132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04359326378182077,0.0,0.1741091914618843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02753278198724024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043684532512730585,0.07132730791131316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047612819826839806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03836878030402868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02158633741615942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03414465990687348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037752358693981775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6806933469429235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04819402566530096,0.0,0.13367794164377134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0234623843881629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02085713490255566,0.042788558886402143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02849721439963616,0.0865658921018217,0.0,0.046504059349715764,0.0,0.0,0.5162814456787516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03165554693795842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048605078723040186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879168766084101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28595307621130384,0.0,0.0,0.047824765027868366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04060982973781637,0.033950359634698765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03886515642849626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469103459344662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839616151791708,0.10294253943891456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02489402483847878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333315060055188,0.0,0.07374429135232312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03838519858754609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041153525383401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,John1134,2019/04/05,"How do I help my mom overcome her anxiety and depression? I really need help. Will keep this brief. She's had trouble sleeping for past months, had anxiety attacks often. Recently went to a psychologist who diagnosed her with clinical depression, which didn't help because now she's anxious about the diagnosis. She's been on medication for about a week now. I think the stress of me going abroad to study plus with her gastric problems and other issues added up is causing this but I don't know what I can do. Need advise",4.248219954648526,6.741356724489801,5.152585034013609,77.51543083900229,73.59183673469387,8.845351473922905,30.276643990929703,9.444778638647367,3.1963365079365085,421,19,73,11,9,137,70,98,0.171,0.7709999999999999,0.058,-0.7845,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,1,1,4,0,10,4,1,2,0,15,17,5,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,6,0,0,5,0,13,0,12,11,0,11,0,2,0,0,12,2,0,1,6,52,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814767878142939,0.20783646326450467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20929518116301746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121478766032538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18899034772131093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169103428944145,0.18672812861856145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455576308065402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699384953725623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920194037079921,0.0,0.16352313545851707,0.0,0.0,0.1011064279802066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853328532154124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21546626892981727,0.14684502643999742,0.0,0.0,0.2728264292073809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562248701368185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17603675512112227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785743992085715,0.0,0.18165056519793205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841052776606296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107397797848133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788209504040185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757157425414386,0.0,0.0,0.17054427182974788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kya-Night,2019/04/05,"Im not sure if this is deptession, or just lack of interest So I'll preface this with, I am genuinely depressed, but as time has gone on it has gotten more difficult to discern, what is lack of interest, and what is being quashed by a depressive episode.

Right now I'm at a games convention and sharing a room with a good friend who is a games developer herself and very passionate. I'm a games artist and should be really enthralled by a lot of what I am seeing but I'm just not.

I don't know if I am depressed, out of my depth, and it's not even that I feel like I could learn a lot, but that I just shouldn't be there. This is a horrible thing to feel because the industry is very social, and yet my brain goes offline in those spaces.

I need to pick this apart, because right now I don't know if I should be shifting my career plans to something else owing to a lack of interest or motivation to overcome the barriers of this industry, or if I should just ride it out. Those options are preferable to secret option X.
",6.211387559808612,5.289243727272726,6.83818181818182,79.87727272727273,66.27272727272728,10.470813397129184,34.311004784689004,9.800150414767053,3.0322306220095694,805,32,169,15,11,266,108,209,0.131,0.7190000000000001,0.149,0.7917,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,10,13,0,0,12,0,23,2,1,2,1,52,35,18,0,14,17,0,2,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,17,10,0,1,9,4,1,2,6,4,0,0,2,3,15,9,23,24,6,17,1,3,1,1,9,11,0,11,5,125,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22238402400133275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20362360361700046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563504846098754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4713138543172648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237544697666722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12047636724214515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18445826198662665,0.13030971962201435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092516513795236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299213290439542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970280222338624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004893448511974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911356243477367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31014734803409805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525053041283305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685291127186218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31154467366238553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453526683085602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859382862716556,0.0,0.14042379684198972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191396170426726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211813595372344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636145602264678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30100541924453433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealththrow12,2019/04/05,"Starting to lose it, not sure what to do I'm not really sure how to articulate this so bear with me. I recently had to come back to my country of origin (I've lived somewhere else for the past 2+ years) due to needing to be here for a sick family member. I struggled a lot with anxiety and depression in the past when I lived here, but these problems largely resolved themselves after I left and found a lifestyle outside of my home country that seemed to evaporate those problems. After only a few months of leaving I found that I no longer needed medication, and for the first time in my adult life I was happy and comfortable with myself.

​

Fast forward to yesterday, having been back in my home country for about a week, the intense feeling of anxiety is starting to creep back into my life, except now it's even more intense than it ever was. Two days in a row now I've been experiencing intense panic attacks and episodes of dissociation. I'll be sitting around doing normal stuff when suddenly I get this feeling of unease mixed with... I don't know.. something. This feeling \*almost\* feels good, but not really, I can't really explain it. Then after a few minutes the dissociation starts and I feel like I'm not real, like nothing around me is real, and reality itself is fluid and arbitrary. This lasts for maybe an hour, during which I can't do much other than lie paralyzed in my bed, trying to control my breathing.

​

I'm not sure what I'm expecting from posting here, other than perhaps getting an outlet and writing my feelings down. The only solution I can come up with is to tough it out until I can leave this place again, as I'm fairly sure it's being here that's triggering these episodes.

​

Anyway, thank you for reading. I needed to type this out, if only to articulate to myself wtf is happening to my brain.",6.7300121065375285,7.076275528248588,7.284285714285716,72.86228813559326,64.90395480225989,9.567715899919287,34.936238902340605,9.362217197678863,3.3086272800645684,1483,64,254,25,21,489,185,354,0.133,0.7659999999999999,0.102,-0.8624,0,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,1,0,4,20,20,1,3,15,0,22,6,2,4,5,63,50,19,0,8,9,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,3,1,25,21,0,1,12,1,0,3,9,9,0,2,7,7,29,11,56,40,5,52,0,2,0,0,4,15,0,4,36,190,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788304437899741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558913850906337,0.28697384539858417,0.0,0.0,0.12044687566348145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016161986963646,0.0,0.0895596075905895,0.0,0.18160106670444776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788171797354659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562704511948356,0.0,0.0,0.08829535700153789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050770293078654265,0.0,0.06780463313418633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576357465161056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05199628108127473,0.07121012063577148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421372623654389,0.0,0.23883049906566745,0.05624024830919789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696236436414685,0.0,0.17263301278631996,0.0,0.0,0.08225979925186568,0.0,0.0,0.06602972954630933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961513428582003,0.08380287424930435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793263948899067,0.0,0.07752701617947204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04326450310263299,0.06417034691504013,0.0,0.1667141261285414,0.08553356278593956,0.0,0.11120979701047458,0.07692087579631628,0.0,0.13902899142352304,0.0,0.0,0.08807171691216407,0.0,0.06692809990103812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908856778709451,0.0,0.0,0.07930587563164397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283653006971268,0.0,0.05787099948207744,0.1751179444579992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713254058768887,0.0755375419477122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796188318530827,0.0,0.09236533496212734,0.0,0.0,0.15030141576721606,0.0,0.0,0.08224954216433987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539557191339602,0.0,0.0,0.1506559551209985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874503357377992,0.17920967869334758,0.15129731146636494,0.0,0.0777301858902533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166712696657224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606053733046301,0.0,0.0,0.16716318345447334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229913515634159,0.09011983615021928,0.0,0.0,0.296784734772234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247823354649276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04590443993427894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053448244982678084,0.0,0.07690164502339537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314742751498198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28697384539858417,0.05069550094164688
mentalhealth,thegreypinepple,2019/04/05,All alone Does anyone else feel like nobody really cares about you and that they just kinda tolerate you? you could disappear and Not a single persons life would change like you were never even there ,8.895833333333336,9.17811691666667,7.1633333333333375,75.765,60.38888888888889,10.533333333333337,26.333333333333336,10.125756701596842,2.375433333333333,163,3,27,3,2,48,31,36,0.092,0.711,0.197,0.659,0,1,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,4,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,10,5,2,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,5,3,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015118804692648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035574392240876,0.29828620750937274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968156098032689,0.0,0.3079657027840446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324351361767032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25476053108836544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24319288620620205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228160475054806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471987055892824,0.2079757431028326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20562622738088054,0.28445244793208363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245292126479777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541942134499091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18649852924239774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068028547921445,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Voidsentry,2019/04/05,"The worst part about having a mental illness is, people expect you to behave as if you don't. [https://i.imgur.com/VPGHpZJ.png](https://i.imgur.com/VPGHpZJ.png)  


From the upcoming Joker movie. It really hits the nail on its head. ",9.955909090909092,14.64472390909091,6.221439393939395,65.1521590909091,67.4848484848485,6.936363636363637,17.340909090909093,8.07648339933343,1.1634909090909091,191,3,23,3,4,52,30,33,0.187,0.7709999999999999,0.041,-0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,4,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5048467461238612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4957346583026761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5326960490078126,0.0,0.3410319492291338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151333693249927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,who-am-i-122,2019/04/05,"Best time of day? What time of day do you take your “happy meds” of “chill pills” ? What do you take ? And why at that time? 

I take Effexor and I am trying to decide when is best time of day to take it. I always find I get super irritable and bitchy at the end of the day (I take it at 10 pm every night). I’m wondering if I took it when I woke up if that would help? I take  seroquel  to sleep otherwise no matter what I won’t sleep till 5 am or I’ll wake up a bunch 🤷🏻‍♀️",-1.591636085626913,0.03791062385321276,1.592866972477065,99.82092125382263,89.55045871559633,5.1012232415902155,13.670489296636086,6.42735559955562,-0.9612207951070336,354,5,97,4,12,126,64,109,0.076,0.741,0.183,0.9211,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,3,2,4,0,0,3,0,7,4,3,0,0,11,18,9,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,12,4,14,14,3,19,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,4,13,56,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153447965038909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909509469355773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35759947035578205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227781466355376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679520380541727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266982028557251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242439146074117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756593683345828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929155557964106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397804251080427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008756820947828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.277444673850376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6253599714669376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32332693809834645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401439322774754,0.09411539178846898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508499730663805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032989044763448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847325180859318,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ninjabunny23,2019/04/05,"never feeling good enough (PLEASE READ) *short* I don’t know if this is part of my depression or anxiety, but I never feel good enough for someone and I tend to compare myself with other girls because I feel like baggage. I feel like no one wants to be with a depressed girl anyway and I hate being like this. Is this part of depression anyway..? ",1.8083955223880608,4.449067358208961,2.8225186567164187,89.74333022388063,84.3731343283582,5.141044776119403,21.807835820895523,6.6274283507984215,0.6448522388059699,271,9,51,3,8,86,45,67,0.32299999999999995,0.561,0.116,-0.946,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,2,9,1,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,2,15,13,5,0,2,3,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,0,4,8,5,7,11,4,3,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,2,5,40,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916898995415302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029287569950708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43628807777254014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489322175290611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415004240347916,0.2412514572537772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832449883140836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16670338814166827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279497099200874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474732145172152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604534497111269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441642311658932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656939324661993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534545040885805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16889464993760586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430651733405719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959148957122146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Add0lf,2019/04/05,"I dont know what to do reddit please help Im a 17yo male and recently i had the worst anxiety/panic attack of my life and have been feeling spaced out since  unless im completely immersed by something,  sometimes i also find it hard to breathe if i concentrate on it to hard and that makes me over think aswell im scared to eat because when i do i feel as if i might choke on it, i know this is terribly explained but i really need help reddit",2.158951612903227,3.8457493440860233,3.788911290322584,88.60336693548389,77.06451612903227,7.230645161290322,24.528225806451612,8.07648339933343,1.3535387096774194,351,12,75,6,8,117,65,93,0.152,0.755,0.093,-0.4939,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,2,0,8,3,1,1,0,18,16,10,0,3,4,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,4,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,4,11,0,12,13,1,7,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,3,2,48,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862869635063862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972117374489031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567313338622117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18175517852777404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031660286009209,0.0,0.0,0.1773813044201424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753029032605914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584396326579428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31057681276320764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323869825581613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5617463368020766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19053830306487946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244290634922354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571310877768536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838979691850777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853753685819466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902872926418656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105306089187196,0.0,0.1711631551772654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735545476080178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433977016116435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345403457754032,0.17144852739779368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107629257324847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BasiPrime37,2019/04/05,Feel like I’m hanging by a thread. Don’t know what to say or how to feel. I can’t even feel. I feel so numb and just need to vent and let this out I feel so alone and lost. I turn 23 on Monday and rather just not do that whole ordeal. Just going to try to sleep it off. Good night. ,-1.352835164835163,0.2806929692307705,0.5575824175824167,107.60384615384615,88.53846153846155,3.7142857142857135,10.824175824175825,3.1291,-2.1916593406593403,213,1,61,0,7,69,45,65,0.126,0.792,0.08199999999999999,-0.4397,0,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,1,0,19,15,8,0,2,6,0,5,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,6,4,2,9,13,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429705297848799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494833338379815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5930935030654999,0.16759530803712522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333262166196107,0.19676785212756484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892773311907785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398901308303029,0.0,0.1146116727889758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560890612200765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173949835610681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22015229477436785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18656002023764834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23476525259788805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15927516949548515,0.2551728974723297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619178666241439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jobsthrowawayfl,2019/04/05,"Physical symptoms, just a serotonin imbalance? For the past 4 months, I've been having attacks of rapid heart rate, usually not accompanied by chest pain or anything else.   They tend to happen while driving or riding in a car, 80% or more of the time.  (and, no, I do not have any anxiety or fear about riding in a car)  A few days after the rapid HR incidents started,  I also started having occasional pain in back below right shoulder blade and yellow stool.  they don't usually happen at the exact same time, but sometimes they do, and sometimes having a bowel movement provides relief,including from a rapid heart rate incident.  But only sometimes, vast majority of the time they are not concurrent. A few other things, but nothing consistent.  Keep in mind it's just pale/yellowish, it is not diarrhea any more often than I've ever had diarrhea normally.

First thing done was a chest CT scan, and it found nothing but a few granulomas.   Then a few days later an ultrasound found a gallstone, but, to skip ahead a bit, another US was done 2 months later showing no damage or even change from it, and a HIDA scan showed normal function.   So the gallstone did seem like the culprit due to the pale stool but after further testing, seems asymptomatic and not related.

Back after the first US though, I then had a hyperthyroid reaction to the iodine from the CT scan, and I spent 3-4 weeks recovering from that (this is confirmed by a normal iodine uptake scan and the fact that thyroid levels came back down while off thyroid medication).   

I've also had treadmill stress EKG which found nothing. Over 4 months I've probably been to the ER like 10 times (and that means I've likely toughed it out 30-40 times), but of course, they only check to make sure I'm not having a heart attack, and they also do CMP to check liver.  Nothing else, so no matter how many times I go, they may hurt my wallet but they do nothing to broaden the range of tests that have been done.  I always explain everything, including the back pain and yellow stools.   Either way,  it's almost certainly not cardiac unless it's something that wouldn't show in 10 EKGs over a 4 month period plus a stress test.  

During those 3 weeks of high thyroid, my heart rate was elevated a bit all day, but I didn't have any specific HR attacks, which I find intersting.  However, a couple of weeks after I got better from that, i.e. late Jan/early Feb, the high HR attacks came back as well as the back pain and yellow stool.   And obviously I started vigorously following up with the doctor about it, and he wanted me to try buspar, an anxiety medication....so I did, which made it 3 times worse (went from 4-5 times/week to 2-3 times/day).   On the day he said to try the buspar, I didn't push back, I knew he was about to blame anxiety but I figured I had the time to try the buspar and let it fail, but it got worse (which I later realized was ***due*** to the buspar), so I went to a behavioral health clinic who agreed that I probably don't have general anxiety disorder or panic disorder, and armed with that, I go back to the doctor, and he basically says he doesn't care what they said, if I don't have GAD or Panic disorder then I've got illness anxiety disorder.  

​

Which makes no sense to me....think back to when this started, I didn't have any thoughts or considerations about my health then, at all (and no problems at work, home, etc either, just to cover all the bases) and this all started out of nowhere.   Do I have anxiety about it NOW?  Yea, probably, but I don't see how that matters, I did NOT when this all started.  So speaking of the original onset of this, how could  I just suddenly start having health anxiety for no reason? 

It just doesn't fit.  I mean, yes, the frustration of these continued attacks has made me start getting upset when they happen, but who wouldn't after it happening for 4 months with no answers?    I don't have any other indications of anxiety: I sleep well at night, I function at work, etc, and when these attacks occur, they are not accompanied by any of the other anxiety/panic attack symptoms like sweating, etc. I know that EKGs/bloodwork/Chest Ct and abdominal US looks at a lot, but it doesn't look at everything, and it seems just a little premature to label me a hypochondriac at this point.    And, remember back to the hyperthyroid incident, I spent a few days dealing with anxiety accusations then too, but finally a walk in clinic that was open during the holidays was smart enough to run T4 instead of relying on just TSH.  After that, there's no way I'm going to lightly accept blame on anxiety...

Anyway, so I went to another doctor for a second opinion on this, and she said no I don't ""have anxiety"", but that ""this is likely due to some serotonin brain chemical imbalance"".   I realize that the true causes of psychiatric illnesses are still poorly understood, but isn't brain chemical imbalances one of the likely causes of many psychiatric illnesses?  And if so, isn't telling me I have a brain chemical imbalance, just a nicer way of blaming it on anxiety or other psychosomatic disorders?  It just seems like a nicer way of saying that same thing as the other doctor except avoiding calling it hypochondria/illness anxiety disorder.   Plus, her recommendation was Prozac, which seems to be aimed squarely at anxiety/depression, I don't see any descriptions of its uses/treated conditions that match the way she explained it.  

I am trying it, and for 2 days I thought it was helping but on day 3 I've had 3 attacks again, which had not happened since I stopped the buspar.

So first, can serotonin imbalances really cause physical symptoms like this, in the absence of any ""real"" disease?  And if they can, how can these imbalances just start happening for no reason?  the ony medical reason I can rfind for serotonin problems is carcinoid syndrome/carcinoid tumors, but, I mean, the only symptom I have from the list of carcinoid syndrome symptoms is rapid heart rate, so I don't think it's that.  

Could aspartame have any involvement with this?  ",7.142064136391313,7.257941546174145,7.515377308707121,72.33677207225493,64.05716798592789,10.972296867600301,34.81860496583452,10.661397749333556,3.798438560313916,4786,197,842,113,65,1569,406,1137,0.146,0.774,0.08,-0.9982,4,1,2,0,0,0,184.0,3,0,12,8,58,44,9,7,71,2,83,43,16,15,12,174,149,91,0,13,55,0,0,8,0,3,27,7,1,0,73,39,0,3,30,4,5,18,38,26,3,5,49,20,68,18,120,93,25,147,0,3,12,0,38,40,0,23,92,579,141,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032644826307639686,0.0,0.0,0.07821214691275087,0.02712633949284941,0.03532277386877405,0.03961333924421258,0.19952594449811692,0.06836921556617909,0.3242121501656442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02682754444581835,0.0,0.0,0.2967034250640109,0.0,0.25067875619405344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028832611959665383,0.0711828987843617,0.0,0.0,0.10917926936350493,0.03328889280188908,0.07457288193753372,0.03323851959907192,0.10046949569268138,0.03448714861935368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05205790783337175,0.03607198200887573,0.0,0.16819769819450606,0.03360982268845953,0.028078878731369758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22417890919457809,0.1334725233034932,0.0,0.10008530339999476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446729381839062,0.0,0.0,0.03368517014545075,0.10907497519414654,0.021532411628479336,0.02948914033383233,0.0,0.0,0.058598696389082175,0.0,0.0,0.03668477733714765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03571240159684296,0.02979638932981573,0.0831902491748172,0.0,0.10723473913939906,0.0,0.0,0.01703248598874434,0.0,0.05558307561805844,0.0,0.07822111662152291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729718005798648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395885002210606,0.0,0.1931595442882489,0.021851518118679962,0.06888872051300539,0.03270109450456305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03489965350293468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02897694185918585,0.0,0.0,0.017916456145226228,0.0,0.036774935708460514,0.0,0.0,0.03333635754476566,0.0,0.12741618639075253,0.032674400270776574,0.0,0.0,0.054752644613846435,0.0,0.0,0.02771589364878881,0.0,0.061695017243246726,0.04352235336403232,0.06610385303793555,0.0,0.10653494454739243,0.0,0.06568341901176915,0.0,0.0,0.032917347456619124,0.0,0.13010757717955646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03059348705800071,0.09582510014255366,0.15640594027092955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02209103365352155,0.07438275475205147,0.13875749452763575,0.07649964079154646,0.0,0.0,0.031120994476356963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03081813706615195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544699366210536,0.06238880882416216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037106659257043935,0.020884801252637003,0.10055664570601104,0.0,0.0,0.03693016378342147,0.027840763742800017,0.09303200666123693,0.05185066610848126,0.0,0.0,0.05195696976863814,0.14839196630838095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02696758175049377,0.0,0.032624178296132775,0.0,0.0,0.025097561166983282,0.09672858337276903,0.0,0.2076740720923392,0.0,0.026034908829866255,0.027255590208282776,0.0746878333652219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03072571221091712,0.16942270906795287,0.0,0.0,0.02849439149092757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497523891992862,0.04177834047331228,0.03202995788142767,0.05176252454592504,0.15207753719073738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853476347571244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764364790779795,0.0,0.07180998625472784,0.0,0.019228698886001115,0.12938433118820722,0.10460105024871284,0.0,0.058623771202600976,0.09066334440146764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746730038668793,0.0,0.06644566342709603,0.0,0.0,0.03961333924421258,0.0
mentalhealth,ItsJustJordyy,2019/04/06,"A mental health question - My mom and I My mom and I’s relationship has always struggled for as long as I can remember. It really started to take a turn just before I started middle school. At first, I took it as your average hormonal teenager type thing and figured things would get better as the years went by. I’d like to note that as I grew up, my mother drank very heavily and I was emotionally/physically abused from the time I was in elementary school all the way until my junior year of high school. (This isn’t a pity me story, I simply want to provide background knowledge.) Now that I am older, about to turn 20 in June, our relationship has yet to progress. I find it hard to communicate with her, she tends to get on my nerves very easily, I don’t like to interact with her and I’m timid around her. Although I instinctively do these things, I would love to have a relationship with my mother but I struggle to do so with how quickly she can get on my nerves and how she makes me feel whenever I’m around her. I’ve attended counseling, and counselors could never truly help me find the answers I’ve been searching for. Online research hasn’t helped, so I’m wondering if anybody has any answers here? It may appear desperate, but nobody wants to hate their mom forever. Any advice? ",4.428091843153702,5.994290844621518,5.4051331516041135,79.83986160620678,70.83266932270917,8.630824072132523,28.349968546865174,9.134995656068208,2.388899601593626,1026,38,194,21,19,337,147,251,0.116,0.831,0.053,-0.9361,0,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,1,1,1,3,12,9,1,3,8,0,19,3,0,3,2,39,42,21,0,6,4,5,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,11,13,1,0,10,0,0,5,4,5,0,1,6,2,35,4,35,32,1,30,0,1,0,1,23,10,0,5,16,131,46,6,0.0,0.12490358488411428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301365610691368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771656705514004,0.0,0.0,0.14337627574461131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768948059093726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970330763381973,0.0,0.0,0.0932340222683381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841680272493079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330271862892025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19270104492637527,0.08966885084759553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652303142200138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944341945026168,0.1040788610171419,0.0,0.11205484668438324,0.0,0.0,0.14131948432032695,0.111380344440036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030042263940628,0.0,0.0,0.0932919808889882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514423630388713,0.0,0.07036761130745231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623696871238693,0.0,0.0,0.3703943243947754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130518130466191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809275212507248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753373672083962,0.0,0.0,0.3395397813226145,0.11941851530390625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200671952199852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923139494572607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22041243451586776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926152939335196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101059342395256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061470326157019174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171237390891986,0.0,0.2293299300260889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396246711827762,0.12435702617831106,0.08367623184504124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772392782951717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432177536848807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977243633378431,0.0,0.0,0.13577200732818204
mentalhealth,iliterallydontexist,2019/04/06,"I wrote up a quick, dumb shitpost on another subreddit and they diagnosed me as a drug user with a mental illness. Is there any truth to that? It was this post:

https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/babz3x/tifu_by_having_sex_haha_yeah_i_fucked_up_so_bad/

On /r/TIFU. I've always found that the most upvoted posts seem to be about sex so I wrote up a shitty post to make fun of them. It was shortly removed due to being less than 170 characters. So I made up a retarded short story as fast as I could to fill up that minimum limit. And now they are saying that ""no sane, sober person would come up with this"" so I must be a heavy drug user and have a mental illness. Well I am genuinely worried about what theyr'e saying so I was hoping I could have somebody analyze what's happening.

Or maybe the fact that my brain is taking this so seriously on it's own means that I need therapy? I don't know.",3.9096420978029762,6.707562331325297,4.212211197732106,82.2551488306166,76.28915662650603,7.038412473423105,22.415308291991487,8.124751697461798,1.3332612331679663,721,21,131,13,17,225,104,166,0.141,0.794,0.065,-0.9144,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,3,1,11,6,1,0,9,0,17,7,1,2,3,25,30,12,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,14,6,0,1,4,0,0,3,2,2,1,0,7,2,15,4,22,16,3,20,0,0,0,1,8,10,1,4,4,94,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790910982258913,0.0,0.0,0.10453630605859802,0.16119103546285507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716047135546101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241798615607953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454691924779685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602470567998042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565376877887741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16854835904654902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13593595407158324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526807403902016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448165139699136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545557719192378,0.1026107020013702,0.0,0.1544345210073617,0.167448442815121,0.0,0.0,0.3098314618197405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398299665326975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613054954528379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422421698904816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416698655815612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24449198342416945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994283541523925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557989565993332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757946296363275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382146380447767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611226440868375,0.0,0.1091997763396976,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawayaccount8880,2019/04/06,"18[F], I think something happened to me when I was really young, life long mental health struggles  

Hi reddit, this is a bit of a long one, but it would really be helpful if you guys read all of it because I think all the information is relevant. I had some memories resurface so I’ll tell this story as I remembered it, not chronologically. But if you really want to skip ahead, **you can go to the bolded section.** 

I’m 18 years old, born and raised in America. I’m half Chinese and half white. Growing up, from about the ages of (maybe even before) 6 to probably 10, I’m almost certain I had anxiety. I remember being so scared of everything at all times, like a hypochondriac + I was afraid loved ones and I were going to die in a disaster or anything like that. It was so bad that I was nauseous with fear to the point that I basically stopped eating a few times and my weight would drop. Which was a bad cycle because I thought I was dying and that made me more scared. 

Then when I was 12, the anxiety stopped, but the depression kicked in. My grades dropped, and as my dad moved away and I lived with my traditional Chinese mother, she banned me from seeing my friends which made things worse. The divorce was ugly and my mom began to take it out on me through phases of physical and mental abuse (her telling me to kill myself and threatening to send me to live with my dad across the world) and “normalcy”. To be honest, she was always pretty strict, but she was generally a good mother before then.  Middle school through sophomore year (16 years old) of HS was pretty rough because of her, and my depression would come and go as it pleased, for weeks or months at a time. From those two factors, there was one point where i was 14  think I was close to attempting suicide because the sadness and hopeless were overpowered by a true panic of “I can’t do this anymore”. I sent a panic email to a family friend and it was so concerned i got pulled out of class, and she kind of mended the situation enough that I stopped feeling that way. 

If we cut to recently though, my life is actually pretty good now. I live at home but independent of my mom which is nice. I see my friends often and my grades are good too. I have a therapist (although she is kind of seeing me for free so I can’t see her that often which means less talking time) and we’ve worked through some of my issues about the abuse and depression. I still get suicidal thoughts sometimes, but I’ve thought about it for such a long time (on and off since I was 12) that I really understand the ramifications. I’m very confident I will never do anything because I’ve never reached that panic state since I was 14. 

During winter break, I was with my dad across the country, which just meant a lot of alone time because I don’t really understand how to have a normal parent/child relationship and I don’t have friends there. This wasn’t even the longest I’ve been away, but I started to experience a few concerning things. 

I was experiencing was very severe dissociation (at least what I think was severe) , or just milder dissociation at other points. I smoke a little weed sometimes and it was as if I smoked over my limits but there were 0 pleasant feelings. When my boyfriend was calling me, I could not comprehend what he was saying. I also experienced paranoia, I was very scared that someone was going to break in and kill me even though I factually knew that thought was not realistic. I was also very scared I was going to experience visual hallucination, I’d imagine I’d see figures in my room (that are hallucinations) and I’d be terrified of seeing them. I was also just generally scared of non-mortality related things too. 

Also, you know that ringing in your ear sometimes? I heard that but it was so loud. Like, it would overpower cars and people on the street when I’d be lying in bed. It was as if I had earbuds in playing that noise. And I wasn’t listening to anything super loud or anything that would damage my ears. 

So this is where the important part comes in. Just because my life became 100x better in the past year, I’ve blocked out a lot of everything that happened from the ages of 12-16, but I kind of knew about that. But when I was experiencing all of those things in on break, I remembered that I was going through the same thing when I was young too. Like at 6-10 years old, maybe earlier, in addition to everything I wrote up top, i was experiencing dissociation, that ringing, and paranoia.

I told my therapist about all this and she agreed that it wasn’t normal behavior for a 6 year old and that the fear seemed to stem from a place of feeling unsafe. I’ve heard from several family members that when I was a baby, I was taken away from my home by CPS, but of course they gave me back. I told my therapist about that and she said its something I could look into. ( I heard the tellings years apart from each other so I don't think they're lying, especially since they seem to understand the standard protocol of CPS) 

But I didn’t tell my therapist one thing because I don’t even want to say it. **This is the first time I have ever communicated this.** 

One of my family members on my mom’s side (since the divorce was ugly, credibility is not the best) told me that CPS took me away because someone tipped them that I was being sexually abused by family member on my father’s. I literally can’t even type it. I don’t feel unsafe or weird with that person, and I’ve never had anything weird happen within memory. Its been 100% normal. But when I was younger, my mom would warn me to fight back and not let them touch me if they tried. She said a lot of shit that I don’t really believe though. And another thing is, (I’m sorry, this is kind of inappropriate so you can skip to the next paragraph if you’d like), I started masturbating really early like maybe before 6. I didn't know what it was, but it felt good so i kept doing it. I heard that it’s sorta normal for young kids to do it since they don’t know but I also heard it could be a sign of abuse. 

As of now, I have a pretty healthy relationship with sex. I hooked up with a girl once last year and we did a little bit (i really just needed to figure out my sexuality), I’ve only had sex with one person, my current boyfriend. We’re still figuring things out since we’re new, but I think it's fun and I love the feeling of connection. I’ve never felt “dirty” or anything like that when we do things. 

So. I guess now I’m finished. Do you guys think something happened to me? Maybe not that, but something else? Do you think there's a way to find out? 

Extra information: It kind of seems like the mental health in my bloodline isn’t that good, anger issues on my mothers and maybe depression from my fathers. ",3.920355033072582,5.43353466265966,4.951709683121936,82.80301744965456,72.02028549962435,8.104656678599314,26.72294898425185,8.671277953709913,1.8619125322255128,5320,182,1064,96,102,1743,446,1331,0.16399999999999998,0.725,0.112,-0.9982,4,1,6,0,7,4,157.0,3,9,7,9,65,65,6,12,55,0,114,14,3,4,13,199,202,105,6,23,42,12,10,8,4,7,5,16,4,6,87,59,2,7,42,2,1,15,26,29,0,10,87,38,159,37,146,96,24,155,0,7,8,4,88,62,1,26,78,731,246,7,0.0,0.15400658526351965,0.031710749582440786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03253937393406564,0.033655356505384884,0.0,0.12993249785824362,0.027038713451928282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034074181463266205,0.04971766918940518,0.0,0.03222663053332515,0.0,0.0,0.16044530160375647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212170964691628,0.04997379804233087,0.054264477899518236,0.17827963596202773,0.0,0.08295338425441358,0.036611103414935606,0.034101838666354106,0.02873947415771069,0.07095295712181605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033181359904439114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598369011435849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783461826011248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119527028361615,0.0,0.0674500337644471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03325082982583561,0.02714567423381366,0.0,0.0,0.033576357155833084,0.0,0.1073142780847547,0.029393881752470763,0.0,0.0,0.08761410809253856,0.06357332620631659,0.12253480117327005,0.0731325494712177,0.08215306318988459,0.0,0.06240121567731932,0.0,0.029700138243988074,0.027640506748374368,0.0,0.0,0.10042322959727328,0.0,0.016977466058221397,0.0,0.11080705192897193,0.13627768392354542,0.025989479816308458,0.0,0.035797263918010795,0.06435096109104865,0.1149420339193671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908202160930903,0.0,0.0,0.021780931299497784,0.0,0.06519092073638492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783335326250295,0.0,0.0,0.07190252480839003,0.16919440177084655,0.05357574219468618,0.02648802687589046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033228671322260435,0.06885722690518972,0.1270045946990083,0.0651377047292372,0.08608190165069296,0.08627201986944294,0.027287888748117068,0.0,0.0,0.08287908952454838,0.05865659882485352,0.061495724223743976,0.0,0.0,0.16322960758602698,0.035396935132528534,0.0,0.0,0.09824293351140817,0.0,0.0,0.15223252706998622,0.02593745830107309,0.03453738772911701,0.0,0.02409487165671431,0.10024959130340284,0.03138418726675158,0.034559146668418375,0.0,0.12735407591281445,0.0,0.0,0.13639350866627176,0.03460646047164884,0.13211803877303688,0.02471415887174824,0.0,0.11437878673696385,0.0360822127242396,0.03518927020599229,0.03102046452699869,0.022528166733454084,0.056747328575894436,0.03395069822924859,0.03567010856266525,0.09215575630544492,0.0,0.0,0.1322377107597515,0.035035456304361015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03250411858310077,0.0,0.1665386977021005,0.0,0.032085213060402275,0.06977563578490567,0.11043260553484543,0.0,0.06182099064353185,0.051683173233469236,0.16266744533418773,0.03288700362792887,0.15536740050477835,0.08874757001337766,0.0,0.1101314030864026,0.03335598402582133,0.16128281126215266,0.03652610667338102,0.0,0.0,0.0550663666503554,0.1000659547028358,0.09641612164872773,0.03637585577921676,0.04600071641463743,0.0,0.05190161686086652,0.08150263994880742,0.0,0.03397116906302382,0.0,0.07108922244277907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024432440221711232,0.026118511242892103,0.113609384961557,0.0,0.0,0.15091830708157716,0.1942960494639874,0.16657353666944458,0.09577947514019146,0.10319063278807727,0.13263799683336705,0.0,0.0,0.09315202645736237,0.036103501607176486,0.022062192548916015,0.0,0.0317432106589167,0.10148633764868384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724818486899446,0.038333169086013176,0.05158655272436605,0.026065789536321705,0.039570551420494905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023656983534962064,0.0,0.03311551221280909,0.13850247877851926,0.0,0.0,0.16740739060761958
mentalhealth,FindingTerraNova,2019/04/06,"Why the quick decline? This is a pretty long and specific story but please, bear with me. I’m a lower ranking enlisted guy in the military (U.S), and I recently had a VERY sharp decline in my mental health. I’ve been so happy lately, even winning awards and being the most physically active in my life. But despite it I feel worse then ever since I was scolded at work for being disrespectful to a higher rank. Basically the guy wanted me to participate in some mandatory fun and I said no until he forced my hand and I begrudgingly went. Since that, I feel like shit, even using nicotine again. Why? I don’t care what some douche thinks, but deep down I might. 

Any tips?",3.223139534883721,5.5132577674418615,4.6102519379844935,81.1563081395349,75.97674418604652,7.40077519379845,23.92829457364341,8.344100000000001,1.6474387596899225,528,17,98,10,12,175,93,129,0.111,0.604,0.285,0.9836,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,5,6,7,1,0,8,0,8,4,2,1,1,19,17,11,0,1,3,0,4,1,0,1,2,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,5,13,6,11,9,3,16,0,0,0,0,4,7,1,4,9,63,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192902936075254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885039937155525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23172394352327166,0.15867567477274214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739327994958576,0.12531869445205954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34738290979680897,0.0,0.18673578278877134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646119090073676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787920814936288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390296087430272,0.08570040158701484,0.0,0.0,0.15523945971784414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678014195665046,0.18609083662074388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255634873478786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17846322715987073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732041679782081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686274184690222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18006411393966748,0.29021525773943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240080738946848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150487862236356,0.0,0.14473826769076728,0.10346611451530184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261429560394844,0.3165750225073675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770643418616273,0.0,0.17876598572663094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VersusArdua,2019/04/06,"I need help Iv spent years searching for something to get me out this hole im in but it just gets worse and worse with every fucking day that passes.

Iv been smoking weed every day since i was 13 as a way to cope with my issues but it never actually improves anything besides my problems in the moment. Iv tried therapy, many different kinds but it dosnt work, it never works.

I dont know what to do anymore. Iv given up on trying to find ways to finish it. Iv put my family through enough i cant do it now, theyd be devastated. My family might love me but they cant help me, im literally numb to it. Im sure id feel differently if they wernt there but its pointless to think about because they are and im trapped in this limbo of uncaring bullshit that i cant escape from.

Im still young, but i have no ambition to do anything with my life. I just want it to be over.

Does anyone know where im coming from? Does anyone have any advice about how i can try to claw back some self respect and mabye get things on track?",0.8076412027631079,2.972530154205608,2.8714059325477486,91.04809630231615,83.90654205607476,5.590898008939456,20.519301097115,6.8959733430537185,0.39596733035351495,799,24,173,10,23,269,127,214,0.163,0.753,0.084,-0.9658,2,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,4,2,10,7,1,0,2,0,17,9,0,1,3,31,31,12,0,4,9,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,15,8,0,0,5,0,1,3,7,3,0,0,4,1,20,4,29,23,2,25,0,0,0,2,8,9,1,3,11,105,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.09420098603850464,0.0,0.0,0.09432963168908252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564484649445339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573347880173774,0.13499437767764036,0.0,0.15887468040898736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422689645727251,0.0,0.05884481066918035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315348707125603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245098838627808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20171010095969885,0.0,0.0,0.1689510316212969,0.0,0.1131343994857763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974302068885456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162664192394626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18200293664684936,0.0,0.04880931331157163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822819847856248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924197435214841,0.15130144170467147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940628854675548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6256246176104021,0.10075398481220882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052288065643313,0.10610256372450584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818317401046921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712360192875789,0.0,0.0,0.09786796315271484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240484816127993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157701090076223,0.1489023513333608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236777226345416,0.0,0.09704099158499277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007035856318666,0.0,0.0,0.07985199578489123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431479644927022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709031715846909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097995751543468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039237861109452,0.0,0.06413135287595746,0.061853597001028826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19661600431830029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056936880607242064,0.15324469452634587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405524123544585,0.0,0.196748039367958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06216323121112517
mentalhealth,i-am-soybean,2019/04/06,"My phone wallpaper just laughed at me.. I just unlocked my phone and the wallpaper in it at the time which just a cropped image of a Kanye west album, morphed into a horrible shape with teeth and big eyes and grinned and laughed at me for about z deck fez’s 

I was more intrigued than afraid as I’ve had these kind of things in the past and in the last month my hallucinations have become more common. They’re usually things of a similar nature to this like faces, figures walking, eyes opening and closing on random surfaces, and auditory are things like laughing, sails and moan, murmuring voices where certain words pop out like “stop”. Just talking about them is actually making them flare up so I’m going to move on. 

I have been clean of all drugs for almost a month with a couple of relapses of small amounts in that time but nothing problematic. The heavy heroin/cocaine use stopped at least two months. I’m seeing a psychiatrist for a suspected personality disorder such as BPD, but we have not yet ruled out schizophrenia. I am currently on duloxetine and lithium. 

Given these latest set of hallucinations (considering I haven’t slept much the past couple of days) do you think this is an indication of the onset of something more serious or potential side effects from medication etc? 

Thank you ",7.798182904961152,8.298031271966533,7.558233711894799,71.2798849372385,62.640167364016726,10.677943813508671,36.318290496114784,10.451354775682146,3.861351225343695,1050,46,181,23,14,334,156,239,0.064,0.8390000000000001,0.097,0.7124,1,0,3,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,2,1,10,12,0,1,16,0,12,7,5,3,2,38,22,15,0,0,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,1,10,17,0,2,4,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,5,4,15,10,38,17,8,44,0,0,3,0,9,24,0,3,19,120,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.14301070116738998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674767210281878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185187609942564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18457335739784447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243074009983916,0.0,0.0945119926144312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795787051027367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16995033411057667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344089303841486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328718389041387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15260825019566393,0.0,0.11945700893047745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214789342477134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782260717854332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476327174311756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509220829195133,0.15575841317753109,0.10773039003667756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406177347767971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27979523921444743,0.0,0.1279609494552711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678059321271138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128205934381396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450430813851721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779054911911215,0.0,0.1349226458677499,0.0,0.0,0.2920819662499653,0.09390269304852726,0.0,0.0,0.17090782128505175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431570957297575,0.0,0.0,0.12657129822328278,0.16140303852911891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LunacyDraws,2019/04/06,"If I had a gun, I couldn't promise you I wouldn't pull that trigger. I can't bring myself to say the things I need to say, the other me won't let me say them. All I can leave you with is the title. I'm dying and no one cares unless you attempt suicide. So, I don't know what to do besides attempting suicide. I don't want to live anymore. I'm not even supposed to be alive. Yet here I am. I'm not living. I'm existing.",-0.7651578947368414,0.9524525368421096,2.1507894736842132,96.56302631578949,86.78947368421049,4.6421052631578945,20.026315789473685,5.6839178017228535,-0.2332315789473687,321,10,79,2,10,113,60,95,0.201,0.737,0.063,-0.8856,0,1,0,1,0,3,13.0,0,3,1,2,4,2,0,0,4,0,13,0,0,1,1,13,22,4,3,5,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,0,1,1,3,16,2,7,16,1,3,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,55,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214381530186536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22039867005492866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22434926038269412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277756480239376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880081165274192,0.0,0.0,0.2288917250599715,0.0,0.2210474159489067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817623187580642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028655090308114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648168739472886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5157187198594663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4729075312820652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361305715165246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275020582288408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,towel_away,2019/04/06,"Thoughts into the void Hello friends.

For as long as I can remember (years) I have had what I would consider abstract suicidal thoughts ever night when I go to bed. I saw abstract because it is less of concrete thoughts and more like a craving or itch to die. Typically I will have a strong feeling in bed that it would feel really good if my jugular was cut, but I have also less frequently felt the desire to be shot in the head. Rationally, I don't want to kill myself. I'm not making plans to die. Yet every night I have suicidal ""feelings"". I deliberately make sure that there aren't any knives too close to my bed so that I can't easily act on those feelings. I would say I have a history of depression but hide it well. I am moderately successful in work, albeit my social life is a bit lacking. I got a cat awhile ago which has helped with general depression, but the thoughts remain.

I suppose I'm mostly curious if other people have similar issues?",5.4283511586452775,6.102938497326207,6.515307486631019,76.10668672014262,67.77005347593582,10.083600713012482,32.69563279857397,10.125756701596842,3.311977183600713,757,32,143,18,12,254,122,187,0.168,0.6779999999999999,0.154,-0.7125,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,4,8,11,2,0,9,0,21,3,2,2,2,33,38,12,5,8,7,0,5,1,1,4,2,1,3,0,10,4,0,0,10,0,0,2,4,4,1,0,9,7,20,7,17,24,6,17,0,2,1,0,5,6,0,4,10,98,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801469583439207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064667044044932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053525397449112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115686399640272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534715404214393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293351454911911,0.0,0.2763428289782878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204267512526074,0.11217060254872624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692649195154733,0.0,0.12782890911645536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285850804375096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566275975420968,0.11166595063112253,0.10647891446866001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663324212605366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923648865921796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895664459640536,0.0,0.0,0.14729234373419514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094036033374628,0.06504223762684076,0.0,0.0,0.11781883913085757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17773511072770093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24987328990779814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229791268242056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528864310520258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15081415047429353,0.0,0.0,0.10587299594088563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571270039238534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912525871863868,0.0,0.12547662154932848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227720847153633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852550842246983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970288438699825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692267579842302,0.0,0.0,0.2837223695085502,0.0,0.0,0.08573352252487576
mentalhealth,Vidmario_Bros,2019/04/06,"Do you guys feels like nobody cares Like all the friends you have made just come and go like they don't actually seem interested when you have problems, they aren't really there for you. I mean yeah they do listen when I have problems and they also try to help but theres still this distance you know. I came to this realization when I made this friend triugh messenger because she saw a my day of me selling my puppies we talked a lot and I found out she recently broke up with her bf and that because of him she wasnt able to have many friends since he doesnt allow her to be friends with guys. We texted a lot and also hanged out once at the mall, you know that vibe where the girl seems really interested thats what I got so I tried texting her when I could she also texted me a bit to but then it stopped after 2 months I tried texting her a bit but now I know not too much because they could just not reply back. But I mean this isn't a huge problem for me its just what I've realized about people",3.4231428571428566,4.373254076190477,4.0861904761904775,90.70214285714287,72.52380952380952,7.314285714285713,24.47619047619048,7.554174236665415,0.8509904761904767,796,22,180,9,15,253,114,210,0.08800000000000001,0.775,0.13699999999999998,0.8848,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,2,6,5,0,19,14,0,0,9,1,14,0,0,3,1,44,32,18,0,5,9,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,3,11,13,0,1,10,1,1,4,7,4,0,0,7,3,38,10,17,22,6,23,0,1,1,0,34,6,0,4,16,123,49,0,0.11165568526972132,0.0,0.10895984229701232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678730335103245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858563298782797,0.0,0.2041928081694596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437981794911797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277043585346061,0.11384041259381675,0.0,0.0,0.096181486189829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782959583641444,0.0,0.0,0.07200867995459505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056456469350336436,0.07976684386654974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242469575731205,0.3450596218619357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345649904505941,0.0,0.08930125145116131,0.0,0.0,0.2211133657977108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748404522354614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18408913372741129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16364798362882266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898513415424532,0.0,0.21130261824747307,0.0,0.11320133981071966,0.0,0.2432515484890042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912250272491752,0.0,0.0820797759410513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890966076489745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740799340414138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32051823412034663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14305898218201285,0.0,0.11024651896161147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329428475058228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236273667312828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916837448792794,0.09334915249611593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974461037761501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274206430794041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlemisshockey,2019/04/06,"Natural Anxiety Relief Hi all, looking for help with anxiety relief. A balanced diet, Exercise, meditation, and journaling are all part of my anxiety management plan. I’m really looking for something natural to help relieve anxiety. My healthcare practitioner and I have worked very hard to get off of medication as it wasn’t working well for me.",8.457203389830509,10.296973322033905,9.762500000000003,51.341716101694935,61.54237288135593,14.713559322033902,46.95338983050848,13.427899808715575,8.036284745762712,282,19,36,13,4,98,44,59,0.118,0.586,0.29600000000000004,0.9288,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,5,7,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,4,4,10,6,3,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,25,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6545289020272621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175345103125607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916115789195662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28674411493991586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592427431162292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21548083923121905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23163188024084785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370292402193338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646699768155917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648915825904893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923209785314612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114421836515903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BillysGotAGun,2019/04/06,"My Old Self is Dead? So I'm doing some cleaning today. I look back on old things, files, pictures, things I wrote, projects I did, etc. from as little as 2-3 years ago and feel no connection to them. I used to have a pretty sharp memory, but I honestly do not even remember many of these things happening. I recall them as if I had inherited someone else's memories, but I can't place myself back in those times. I feel as if the guy who did those things has died, and whoever I am now is someone else.   


My personality changed when I developed an ongoing chronic illness which subsequently led to mental illness. I also feel as if I changed again when I became suicidal last year.   


It's so weird. I'm doing better now than I'd done in years, but I seem to have no psychological connection to the things I've done in the past, as recent as a single year ago. I feel as if I've died and been reborn twice now. I'm on my third me. Weird. ",3.3190201944652244,4.410870120418847,5.052180254300676,83.14037958115185,72.92670157068063,8.59850411368736,26.208302169035157,9.04235418022936,1.9017925205684365,727,24,155,15,14,248,109,191,0.18,0.769,0.051,-0.978,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,1,12,4,0,0,6,0,16,3,0,2,0,21,28,23,4,4,8,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,11,3,0,0,6,0,1,1,4,2,0,2,7,6,23,2,21,21,3,29,0,0,1,0,7,7,0,6,21,107,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107772398703301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950761171471395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828378102198814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514835229084794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515392540646335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467776506060688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24333105294705984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986343175136925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325935360264267,0.0785255809203202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404569877001641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177195777821988,0.10513384317034892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691104180096237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915879682943804,0.0,0.0,0.09983747523058502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053558027865804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981293888974855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495096573570777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349375129174015,0.0,0.10380997341702856,0.12421451966515948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095365176828625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738931852714295,0.0,0.1346789488614538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823279397893552,0.12402797339654105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146985599508954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300461268789481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39492544771248206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693255890171603,0.0,0.11269361362009167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268260090169666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062444912371311
mentalhealth,BrokenDolly_TN,2019/04/06,"Mental Health Affects More Than Your Mind I'll save you all the story: F24 diagnosed bipolar with mixed anxiety depressive tendencies. Medicated in the past, therapy, and constantly seeking self help material. I function fine in society, I have a loving SO, a degree, and have a very stable job.

​

Last week I went into my dentist for a cleaning, right before the hygienist started I burst out crying. I had been holding my breath up until that moment, self coaching myself it was going to be okay, breathing slowly, and the moment came and I felt a panic attack arise. She was so kind, she sat me up and talked to me. I confessed that today was not a good mental health day for me, and I often cry (in the car) after my appointments but this time I couldn't handle it. I apologized profusely and felt so embarrassed. Thankfully she understood and let me reschedule my appointment. I went to my car and cried because I had failed myself. Since 2017 I have not missed a dental appointment.

​

You see, I go to the dentist a lot. All my life until this ripe age, I've had horrible dental experiences from, being awake during my wisdom teeth removal (2 extractions), 8 extractions in one day at the age of five, dentists doing poor work where my fillings fell out days after, etc. Add on my poor quality of dental hygiene due to depression, lack of insurance for a few years, and honestly just being plain scared out of my mind. Last year I got proper insurance that helped me get dental work done and I faced my fears (for the most part).

​

My teeth are still in pretty rough shape now. I have sever periodontists my dentist has told me multiple times. I have a pretty long dental plan ahead of me, that includes additional cleanings every 3 months, finishing off 2 root canals, 2 top wisdom teeth removals, 2 new fillings and 1 filling replacement. This is in addition to work they did last year. Positives, I have all my teeth, they look 'fine' just the horrific stuff that happens to your gums when you avoid the dentist for years from trauma and lack of insurance. I'm doing much better with brushing, flossing, and mouth was 2-3x a day (seriously I'm scared). I still feel really ashamed I let it become this way.

​

I'm writing this because... mental health really fucks with your body. We all know it fucks with our head but it fucks with the rest of our health as well. My teeth are fucked up. It's costing me so much money to get this all fixed. Luckily my insurance will cover some of it. Overall I'm giving you a rough estimate it's cost me \~3K + insurance payments. My dental office is also very kind to me and understands. But holy shit, this was not a side affect I would've realized I had to face.

​

Please take care of yourself, and please... hope for the best for my appointment on Monday.

​

TLDR: Mental health fucks with your teeth too.

​",4.483168388181596,6.673968333333335,5.029533589558813,80.02817259188087,71.92817679558011,8.110321082552648,27.64228521098567,8.841846274778883,2.3772320762270795,2307,86,401,46,46,737,277,543,0.16899999999999998,0.6940000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.9725,1,1,0,0,0,0,109.0,3,8,2,9,15,37,7,7,25,1,32,34,14,3,5,69,68,28,0,4,8,0,5,0,0,1,14,0,2,2,21,31,0,2,8,1,5,13,4,20,1,2,21,8,69,17,58,40,18,73,1,4,2,6,27,22,6,5,37,262,90,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03958396110665632,0.0,0.3754214991665085,0.4210229712225576,0.0,0.0,0.03786624431814841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05631173018614001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060347695853657415,0.05466724376535546,0.0421196081313783,0.0,0.05194565938796755,0.043777432360521534,0.0,0.054981714503670336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056613138267120576,0.05046705603875951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349033240216015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311545154447993,0.12768984242922646,0.0,0.08526603251494615,0.050239971787698685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050654187533719336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05520395163952085,0.0,0.0,0.04170465117178546,0.0,0.0,0.04841906592754599,0.0,0.05569961406148002,0.02502794690862437,0.0,0.09505271333557927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288029931755732,0.05172188384090053,0.0474835057877218,0.05626231705179968,0.04151702329328054,0.03958850076727408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043771391637795816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050799777944153295,0.2630731439042547,0.0,0.0,0.06635565017511685,0.0,0.0,0.04916321460949824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04911965892134853,0.0,0.0,0.10309021575907852,0.02720310071578386,0.12104373920270853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123121273949802,0.03496227960230183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043804646456121935,0.041566303453455036,0.0,0.0,0.04208188495786013,0.044674361010609016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04986456719595948,0.19953152717611536,0.0,0.09995882119773468,0.0,0.03950925894287567,0.0,0.07277423821091898,0.0,0.0,0.04780599421272089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03354148881460784,0.0,0.0,0.0580758665749925,0.0,0.0536020905534082,0.04725195319060136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866905610905768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007156116797297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342005888882102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04227147902245874,0.0,0.0,0.09911333862683994,0.0,0.03944392434660672,0.0,0.10327553590494508,0.055919256129822584,0.050809535571034584,0.040945700225168816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03503531832778906,0.0,0.07905918908118531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05666398094226949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037216738668876544,0.03978504801509948,0.0,0.045571601323842734,0.056605889399804585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057725988433129365,0.0,0.04691882412070585,0.04729797206337767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051529721311205916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816829516978384,0.0,0.03928963366223443,0.03970473962355928,0.0,0.04450512811899854,0.0917712769754438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810657051753136,0.0,0.0,0.03516233957064499,0.0,0.4210229712225576,0.12750173644026508
mentalhealth,TurnUpTheValium,2019/04/06,"Getting bored super easily? Does anyone else have this issue? I know the saying is if you get bored easily, then you're a boring person. But for me it's debilitating. I can't do anything new and stuff that I used to like I won't do because I'll lose interest. It's even affecting my relationships. Any advice? Thanks",0.91,3.4918457142857164,3.622539682539685,81.55857142857145,91.85714285714286,6.609523809523811,18.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.1398444444444444,252,7,47,6,9,88,52,63,0.134,0.61,0.256,0.857,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,2,1,8,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,2,0,6,11,4,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,7,4,2,10,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,27,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423162667089897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686300884079639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338843076037966,0.2540775598015825,0.20406058383743986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116198994131574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170027726496646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207149554799426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378377444158734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591112311516785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588193022550977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627943133880907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114704272389053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27741826756567683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23949379057791975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21652038828180187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26623011394363666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19719801824997196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838696654799003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22830014778457766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141689847824744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Paul9007,2019/04/06,"Tough year so far Greeting everyone,

​

I've never had a history of mental health and overall, I've been in great shape mostly all my life.  In December, I was down visiting my family for Christmas break and everything was going pretty well.  I was optimistic about the New Year and ready to get back home and get to work on some cool new projects at my job.  A few days before I left, I started noticing that I was having some Urological irritability (I won't go into the details).  I shrugged it off and figured it would pass.  On the day I was driving back, it started to get much more intense.  Like seriously intense.  Super painful.  I scheduled an appointment as early as I could with my primary and they ran some tests and gave me some medication, but the pain wasn't going away.  They referred me to a Urologist and they did some additional screenings.  Still...nothing definitive could be found.  I was having some very rough nights...no sleep...in constant pain...even started shivering because I was getting very scared that something serious was going on.  Eventually...it did start to pass about two weeks later.

​

However, I've noticed that it's very hard to do things now.  Simple things like video games...or just getting up to go to the kitchen...anything...my heart rate started to spike.  I've always been a calm person and had a great resting heart rate...not after this.  I even started to have episodes where I wake up and my heart rate is skyrocketing (160-170 bpm).  I was freaking out because last year I had my first EKG done and the Cardiologist identified me as having something called a WPW pattern (Wolff-Parkinson-White).  I won't go into the details, but it essentially means that I could be prone to having episodes of rapid heart rates.  When it was initially identified that I had that pattern, I didn't exhibit any symptoms of this syndrome, but I understood that it could ""activate"" at any time.  That's what freaked me out so much...I ended up in the hospital for multiple visits because I had convinced myself that I had activated this ""syndrome"".  Well, they ran a ton of tests, checked me out multiple times...and concluded that it was just ""anxiety"".

​

So, I decided to take a month off work and go down to recover with my family.  I honestly felt better and more secure being down there.  Had only one panic episode.  I was going to a therapist weekly and starting to get some control back over the activities that I was starting to avoid because of panic.  I thought I was getting into a good place mentally and I was feeling good about going back to work.

​

No less than a week back being up here...I'm in the same boat.  My heart rate goes up and down, I'm having those panic episodes, simple things are very difficult to do, I can't focus on anything without my heart rate fluttering.  I don't understand it.  Sleep is becoming difficult again.  I have this weird sense of pressure on my chest.  I went to my primary and told her the whole story, she got all the cardio records...and prescribed me Zoloft.  Her opinion is that I have a form of PTSD from the intense pain and fear that happened in early January that has led to panic episodes.

​

How in the world is it that I would have PTSD?  My understanding is that it has to be a very traumatic event.  Unless what happened just caught me off guard.

​

Anyway...just needed to write this all down.",5.310488994288388,6.938592452119309,5.589622231871476,79.12749023013463,68.74882260596547,8.623788369685027,32.391496041951974,9.079978658526878,2.909319676675908,2700,120,482,51,47,858,285,637,0.116,0.79,0.094,-0.9654,2,1,2,0,0,0,136.0,0,0,4,8,23,34,0,8,28,1,63,18,9,4,4,74,107,30,0,7,8,0,4,2,0,4,9,0,1,1,38,27,0,4,12,1,1,19,9,19,2,3,40,6,63,15,78,54,21,99,0,0,1,0,14,40,0,9,41,337,101,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03808172401811047,0.2975304780166224,0.33367073053071805,0.062246117774063615,0.0,0.035011550387942326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037662256049643336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04299950561314544,0.17595959110335496,0.0,0.11159630072760596,0.050545941223522406,0.038944257846700685,0.0,0.0,0.04047710055603645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467331181519782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945775589549119,0.05133146582095988,0.14616457038689465,0.0,0.0,0.05903172380494855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046835424825775664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04053588577332935,0.0,0.0,0.06045720671572773,0.0,0.0,0.04373223069684694,0.04113233531376976,0.0,0.08628991333464735,0.05150048227433522,0.02314111790268233,0.0,0.043943397640629836,0.0,0.0,0.038929298599347614,0.0,0.050181039503900335,0.0,0.0,0.16737920044673654,0.0,0.2340934367118684,0.076774202415073,0.036603967844051705,0.10091632944943127,0.0,0.0,0.08094303047332063,0.0,0.04099814953611418,0.0,0.0,0.04864807059359616,0.0,0.32540395473505485,0.0,0.0,0.045907928577727485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04541658261416479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03730612889793456,0.0,0.0,0.04972586672496165,0.0,0.03232651233348336,0.04471878749851066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04985356707893875,0.0,0.04610533308468442,0.09224453393126003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03653069997242316,0.0,0.06728786955099585,0.03393557368452933,0.035298251854067916,0.08840390724580845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04391457132475013,0.10421182952111444,0.0,0.0,0.031012833378788844,0.034807786959498765,0.19479681781018812,0.21479036704352955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03996188852391812,0.047816665629709994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656138701729206,0.0,0.0,0.10699810521322313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04582064728013775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915998971787885,0.0,0.0,0.07046718545571877,0.0,0.0,0.259152358007279,0.0,0.036549502492106783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047569329070935994,0.03441101024523173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313889406922949,0.09121647678308248,0.0,0.0,0.036333803437765766,0.026687045270972782,0.0,0.0,0.04373223069684694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0447076074795785,0.09528990617636887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888124126581304,0.0,0.0,0.11013433074777804,0.0,0.0822998722856357,0.04242637137440669,0.0,0.05109710527126588,0.0,0.044117654822508096,0.0,0.09995653672809947,0.0,0.0,0.06502298000784533,0.0,0.33367073053071805,0.08841714204124891
mentalhealth,ComebackKid50,2019/04/06,"How much to share with mentor? Took time off from my career in finance for a psychosis. Better now, applying to get back to work. Nothing “high finance,” looking at less prestigious entry level jobs.

My Q is: how much should I share with potential mentors? I’m messaging them through a mentorship program my alma mater set up. A) In the initial message and B) as I get to know them. Formally it’s a 3-month program but may naturally extend beyond that.

Thanks!",2.17072549019608,5.063416023529411,3.692499999999999,81.2054166666667,88.76470588235294,6.127450980392156,29.43627450980392,7.492282038375204,2.532274509803922,362,19,59,7,12,119,66,85,0.0,0.86,0.14,0.8658,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,2,5,4,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,10,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,7,4,16,7,3,13,0,0,1,0,6,8,0,1,3,42,9,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974147598609867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25274262585086205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29860875869209463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019344230470681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28358519235303203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705313755205286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399769953436992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281009486442409,0.0,0.4201514585928694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274206499903983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26310099888826405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666362907750466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175038537077906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804584334166545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,notsensibl3,2019/04/06,"I (23F) was caught wasted drunk when I got locked out of the house at night Okay a little background: 
My parents have been drinking for 20 years until my mom became religiously strict all of a sudden and quit. My dad still drinks. 

My family is Muslim, but they aren't that strict. Booze and drugs are too extreme, and so is going out with men ect..

 Last week I left my room completely wasted at 3 am and I wanted to go to my car but the door closed behind me and i didn't have my car keys aswell. Anyway, I don't know what happened but I stayed outside the house till 5 am when my dad saw me (God knows what state) and took me to the house and there was yelling and hitting (Mostly from my older sister, who is 31)

I woke up with bruises and a hideous head bang in my room. No phone, no door lock, no money, no laptop. My parents care about reputation a lot and I've destroyed that basically. 

I stopped eating for 4 days and my ed has worsened. Didn't leave my room. My dad hasn't spoken to me, and my sister completely cut her ties with me. (she was my bestfriend). My cousins gather up in the house every day but never checked up on me. The only time I can breathe is when my Mom drops me to my classes. (forbidden to drive).

The whole point is that I lost their trust. I haven't apologized to anyone because I feel like I don't deserve to be forgiven and I don't deserve to have anyone care for me or love me or take me back to their arms or whatever. The only comfort I have is my boyfriend whom I talk to on a regular basis on the phone  (They just returned it).


I don't know what to do, what to say, how to fix it. We're a big loving family and we spend a lot of time together and I feel like something's missing but I refuse to take actions. Out of all my siblings I think I put them through worst shit than they can handle.

I feel silly writing this. but an advice or kind words would help me immensely. ",1.383556618819778,3.335213272727273,2.8070388091440712,93.4985406698565,80.41414141414141,5.582562466772993,21.27963849016481,6.5966054737557815,0.251364646464646,1480,43,328,14,38,481,206,396,0.128,0.755,0.116,-0.4785,2,0,4,0,1,0,47.0,1,0,6,2,12,17,3,0,17,1,32,12,4,1,3,54,57,32,0,2,11,10,3,2,0,1,1,2,5,1,12,23,5,2,7,3,3,9,14,6,0,0,12,6,64,11,45,42,7,53,0,2,1,2,33,21,1,7,22,218,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695490985923606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875139216465432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076292697493683,0.0,0.0604825144756132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023192040211665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805686107831725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797510549272112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19439219289339435,0.11506165162051242,0.1015250231398297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835956413088153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706824145009196,0.0,0.15050316070392367,0.14176305224703278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277601762191485,0.0,0.07935388540867923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773835656528291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182653244345788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650389075313798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4579380825060598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332052249455798,0.16358323971279634,0.08087610311047712,0.0,0.10505778371898468,0.10780090144192096,0.0,0.0,0.09694603475476923,0.09944273593395966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830842280379753,0.16870358876978464,0.17909665966802096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324063927782996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652321859444501,0.0,0.0,0.09310959128846684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509198756529146,0.0,0.0,0.22034021412111465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937933012036608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974172933045376,0.0,0.1055308047673814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890232192627583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184609129490188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638304382121723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575343593223246,0.07923580975864604,0.08295088623954301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491995280637723,0.0797478580896104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357503802697817,0.0,0.0,0.11570990015898765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023510857613182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585214850105277,0.0,0.07958688248366108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110773614862908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048178665297199,0.0,0.0,0.06389328963457669
mentalhealth,treebeard555,2019/04/06,Can psychiatric medications be bad for male fertility and sperm? In particular clozapine and invega.,8.695999999999998,13.181390933333335,10.935000000000002,30.022500000000008,73.0,19.0,40.833333333333336,13.023866798666859,10.480333333333334,84,5,9,6,2,30,14,15,0.2,0.8,0.0,-0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6381355371726036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7699240457327156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BrigandBoui,2019/04/06,"Quit gatekeeping mental health I recently had a convo with my best friends mom about mental health. When I brought up how I have anxiety she quickly shut me down saying, I’m only 15 I can’t have real anxiety, she then went on a rant about how young people in general can’t have real depression or anxiety or at least not to the extreme people 30+ have. Having lost a brother to suicide, and a friend in the hospital because of her attempt. I was starting to tear up. I said I had to go and my friend said she was sorry when walking me out. I walked home crying the whole way there. Please stop saying who and who can’t have anxiety. It can happen to anyone, at anytime, in any place of their lives. ",2.817340425531913,4.616718624113479,4.307393617021276,85.10875,75.52482269503545,7.253191489361702,25.934397163120565,8.07648339933343,1.6597418439716312,550,20,108,9,12,183,88,141,0.175,0.7190000000000001,0.106,-0.743,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,1,4,8,6,0,0,7,0,14,2,0,2,0,14,23,10,1,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,2,4,1,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,0,9,4,17,4,20,14,3,26,0,2,0,0,16,12,0,2,8,77,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947457761805093,0.0,0.4026138554163184,0.0,0.0,0.09199933862697876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020606126459537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807840317232672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452745007867382,0.0,0.0,0.11332417138621008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30496037148900823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477632384321176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635012305527412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27971322382510594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319790748628293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618192241045833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436281555122136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265190537377176,0.0,0.0,0.1540974407154964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000676716040257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824331713834736,0.0,0.13746643528360147,0.14442833066874414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13994474710351953,0.0,0.2995191833295696,0.0,0.0,0.12991308263959592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25031329700742044,0.20926525694924147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728590235741948,0.09312848977822064,0.0,0.0,0.11000144291890927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392019171895729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044370201711918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197006959921075,0.0,0.14689725480539415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrazyHouseClassic,2019/04/06,Inpatient My daughter went inpatient on Thursday. She had cut herself previously and took a bunch of advil. We treated with outpatient. She recently cut herself again and made herself throw up. The psychiatrist said to do inpatient so we took her to an inpatient facility. She is calling us now saying it's terrible wanting to leave. I know it's the best thing for her but this is so hard.,3.045416666666668,6.061804930555558,4.574444444444445,76.51500000000001,83.02777777777777,8.755555555555556,33.0,9.150863307647796,3.9855166666666655,313,18,53,10,9,104,53,72,0.117,0.848,0.036000000000000004,-0.4496,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,3,0,0,1,4,5,2,0,4,0,4,1,0,1,0,9,11,5,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,6,3,13,2,8,5,2,10,0,0,0,0,15,2,0,0,4,42,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639288719540966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568048888848312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252904503796699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821527669804845,0.0,0.0,0.2662972809102641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23797099744634084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483213345852173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23922968616543125,0.1999992103648065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708234695979168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.558841213578103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025179610585088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833848365600105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331387251147909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,panda_in_space,2019/04/06,Does anyone have this feeling of being zombie from inside? I am losing touch with reality and my brain feels like not functioning anymore. I am missing a purpose in life. I want to do so much but every day I feel like I am straying away from things which are close to my heart. There is this attachment to certain things which is giving rise to a fear of losing it all. I am trying but I am not able to keep up. I feel exhausted and brain dead sometimes. I don't want to go to a therapist for I am not prepared to learn what is wrong. How do you suppress such feelings?,1.9518652037617559,4.0005189827586225,3.3744514106583097,89.65205329153606,79.0,5.942319749216303,23.476489028213173,6.980632752743323,0.8059586206896552,446,15,92,5,11,146,74,116,0.205,0.6579999999999999,0.13699999999999998,-0.9169,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,4,9,0,1,3,0,15,5,3,1,2,22,26,6,1,2,5,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,6,0,0,2,4,6,0,0,0,6,13,3,17,25,2,7,0,3,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,69,21,1,0.1632810782506045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193095469005245,0.11416992638699043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15340794790086085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364551367244793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530278756506273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288837190887316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757135068129392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373660787381527,0.4127990960548491,0.2332960698546679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663408859104147,0.09279639958374344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934888638947064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513172466150626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533025436356376,0.1595417743748185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653395217602625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003037987584896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148916147620798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895819167369585,0.2169533861456193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085713408069152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19261482083813888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17852222677395235,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RemovesThings,2019/04/06,"Unending relentless panic attacks and depression. I'm in Canada and I'm 23. I have ADHD, OCD, Bipolar 1, and potentially panic disorder.

I had a bad panic attack a week ago that started this. I could feel a fuzzy tingle in my head after and it felt like I was losing my mind. The more I think about it the worse it gets until I go into a full blown panic attack.

I'm accepting of death and I became that way only after really digging into my fear until it no longer worried me anymore. It's not been an issue as of late for me. I had panic attacks with existential dread, but that was nothing close to the fear of losing my own sanity.

I just can't calm down. A passing though leads to palpitations, and panic that just doesn't go away. I've gotten barely any sleep in the last week. It's like my thoughts are going out of control. I can't even distract myself with tv or a movie.

It's fairly rare, but once I can finally calm down and the palpitations stop I can slow my thoughts and relax.

I've seen a psychiatrist, and he laughed it off as harmless and told me not to worry. I was told to go back to taking lithium for my bipolar disorder and come back in a month.

It was so bad earlier I was thinking suicide would be preferable, but I'm the complete opposite of anyone who would normally think like this. I usually think I have a good grasp of my own mental state, but I questioned it and now I have no idea what to think.",3.642592047128133,4.714591501718214,5.344869906725581,81.42360824742269,72.12714776632302,8.017083946980852,26.915562101129108,8.418075326091056,1.8378593028964167,1121,38,222,18,21,383,152,291,0.243,0.6609999999999999,0.096,-0.9904,0,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,0,4,9,29,4,10,16,0,21,5,2,2,0,50,46,23,2,5,9,0,2,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,18,19,0,2,14,2,0,7,7,19,0,0,15,3,30,10,34,27,4,40,0,3,1,0,5,13,0,2,21,152,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572360170835886,0.0,0.07060475696049412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054164606857061634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899121590288283,0.05569300398501885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624526617564444,0.07483362496719417,0.12249158554031175,0.13300854041149385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861126465409438,0.08351131770551705,0.0,0.08933404250786832,0.06359389769634963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860227065545832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18257118159814806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05260795292197257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17925637614628906,0.04027334067584122,0.0,0.07647631506297747,0.08725248125260618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04161374194866718,0.0,0.18106730608882046,0.06680648752538941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817436911973384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991494836478962,0.0,0.0831337152581621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492523156062446,0.08984846285868109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673863193074055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821554313971852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026828168200156,0.0,0.08042360954235248,0.0,0.06357572401227038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07803990938595402,0.07642614756265466,0.0,0.0,0.08482445559810561,0.0,0.06057727497380359,0.0,0.5607113923068319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922602373793889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051025712309451805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970733912828326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05637655041594245,0.0,0.0,0.06659081348052323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712397209101316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05988674982920525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551819330203577,0.07825554078161154,0.12646611542725678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522176268903974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772302056541667,0.0,0.0,0.06322231732731197,0.12778055756176798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177651088076747,0.08116996817993598,0.11316188943969854,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Agirlwholovespadthai,2019/04/06,"Noticed something has been off.. I’ve been working on my mental health for two years now, with the help of therapy and medication I am finally starting to feel like my old self again and in control...

But for the past two weeks I’ve noticed something that is becoming more frequent. I’ve developed some sort of “tic”. It always starts when I’m about to start a conversation with someone. I don’t feel nervous, but my head kind of does this jerking thing real fast. It’s over in seconds but I kinda noticed it’s happening more and more. I’ve never experienced this while I was a teen or in my early twenties (currently 26) , but I’m also not really sure when it all started. Just kinda started taking more notice in the last few weeks.

Is there such a thing of having tics but without Tourette’s?",4.759325513196483,5.99820277419355,5.5880351906158365,80.09659824046922,69.64516129032258,8.217008797653959,31.51026392961877,8.575989854853784,2.5203548387096766,630,27,117,10,11,206,99,155,0.03,0.944,0.025,-0.1823,1,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,9,5,1,1,6,0,9,3,1,1,3,25,20,13,0,0,9,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,9,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,3,3,8,3,19,17,7,29,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,5,23,81,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607350574909054,0.09996359783315864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268186435476867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347438472867638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513268762330033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148974150084835,0.08582588809751622,0.0,0.1316041978986553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10623674156380282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329520901710472,0.1277000001855129,0.0,0.0,0.08052529055147699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510418562859982,0.0,0.09792767953708166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869286389137336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102537616861545,0.12106982719356893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265705121111452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5471070275469772,0.12606355949229056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114684348650232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674219346406769,0.07696283067585964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253290791915679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179167991398684,0.1849746451599749,0.0,0.0,0.4251678915756677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132276892501156,0.0,0.09032806360214056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738711560551772,0.0,0.15962735294521369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23471276101081565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273329014304827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580776915251995,0.0,0.08746115795187563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07736428130516851
mentalhealth,bomb54321,2019/04/06,Unsure of the next step. So essentially about four years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety and that is something which my mum also suffers terribly from. That’s summer I was also greatly struggling with depression. So I’m quite a strong person and I can to an extent battle my issues with out tipping over the edge to dangerous areas m. However as of recent everything’s getting a bit much and as close relationship crumbles amongst others I need to have an outlet in my life to get it out of my system. The only issue then lies with telling people. In that summer in which I struggled my Dad began to resent my unhappiness as it was causing my mum unhappiness. I feel I must point out that I’m incredibly privileged and have great parents who love and support me but I feel guilty having these feeling when my life is so good and I have no real concerns. I don’t want to cause any further distress to my parents. I do have a great support group of friends and one in paticular who real cares for me but I don’t want to burden her with all my issues. I don’t really know what I want for myself but I know I don’t want to distress my parents again as every time I do it really hurts to see the pain I’ve caused.,4.887453703703702,5.625284831275722,6.115018004115227,78.27153935185187,69.0,8.708744855967076,30.002314814814817,8.841846274778883,2.41076975308642,966,36,182,16,16,325,131,243,0.195,0.653,0.152,-0.8744,4,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,8,24,3,4,9,0,18,5,0,3,2,36,38,21,0,6,3,6,3,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,14,16,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,13,0,2,4,4,32,11,35,33,4,25,0,3,1,1,15,12,0,0,11,131,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068271562107116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16361843430369988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956746049128623,0.0,0.0782591665296349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168502823437927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104301596683693,0.31527062411782864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811077990523465,0.10383227566862974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619210328046295,0.0,0.0919405808484756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517775530314354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903667223977112,0.0,0.10689498242083366,0.0,0.0,0.08580432779192629,0.0,0.3383581023019654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951419100402307,0.0,0.0,0.3203236460468481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244273243220114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445149320151002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232968098340406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520221941427165,0.07585410194148101,0.0,0.0,0.10879713624315172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932108018793437,0.07780370666274745,0.1088543383221654,0.0,0.3407758980317268,0.0,0.0,0.07092189077827754,0.08932435308289166,0.0,0.0,0.09670650021688396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880856802304753,0.0,0.232879433548267,0.1310719095403066,0.0,0.1010088394315928,0.10983184026184667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151979948388914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875548412379044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21389219730164655,0.0,0.0,0.2321774967676486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941464797117392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596519119234499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413565971230397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587780095816112
mentalhealth,LionVenom10,2019/04/06,"My hair is thinning, and I feel my life shorten with every hair falling out of my scalp. 18 year old university student.

I posted here a few months ago even though I didn’t have any problems at the time, just wanted to help people because I experienced episodes of sadness 2 years ago. Unfortunately, these feelings are back for some reason, only this time I’m taking therapy, but it’s not helping. 

As pathetic as this may sound, my hair is the only thing I like about myself, and I’m losing it, I feel like the more hair I lose the more I hate myself. I consider for the most pathetic reasons because I honestly see no value in my life. I’m too chicken-shit to even tell my therapist that I have suicidal thoughts, she just thinks that I’m unhappy. 

",4.9202040816326535,5.905854795918369,5.956605442176876,78.53898979591841,69.06802721088435,8.873197278911565,31.706802721088433,9.120678840339163,2.745152925170068,593,25,112,11,10,197,96,147,0.208,0.652,0.14,-0.8832,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,9,8,1,0,6,0,7,7,5,2,0,20,20,6,1,2,4,0,8,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,11,20,3,13,17,5,15,0,3,1,0,4,4,0,3,11,72,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644134893329561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142271791571364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468217206937838,0.0,0.18183302885194905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19701579606804587,0.0,0.12565986045546998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262343571514404,0.10654817095843687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14724836319131526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999355349380852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068897845152676,0.14572799500385927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33370693168243404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190449464499918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565010509783745,0.0,0.0,0.22686075754170076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339734800805724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14283827911947233,0.0,0.0,0.14271022039134096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30668878689369744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188480874421978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309369507406195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313881993830642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121373769193069,0.0,0.1303580230566145,0.0,0.17055862986691148,0.17316713897238795,0.099084337303476,0.0955651548554941,0.14653276555630074,0.11840330702227282,0.1739335888767382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796872091576763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920870929110315
mentalhealth,democrasyisdead,2019/04/06,"Cocaine can’t beat anxiety Until the morning lol then I’m gonna regret it to fuck, yolo",-0.6628070175438552,1.4995949999999991,2.406315789473684,89.09087719298245,99.0,4.63859649122807,22.12280701754386,6.42735559955562,0.8407754385964914,71,3,14,1,3,25,19,19,0.335,0.46,0.205,-0.4767,0,0,1,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6375217886060164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7704323260693218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway3836282,2019/04/06,"I’m going insane. I have some serious anger issues.

If something doesn’t go my way or if something simple just doesn’t work out, I lock myself in my room and start scratching my face/hair screaming into my hands and punching my leg  while silently screaming into my own hands.

This happens because of the slightest things. 
I needed to say this somewhere before I go off the chain.

I’m normally chill and quite a happy person but when I’m on my own I go slightly mad ",3.364782608695652,5.4014387391304375,4.158043478260872,85.73423913043482,74.65217391304348,5.469565217391305,26.71739130434783,5.985473137389443,1.0607347826086957,372,14,67,2,8,119,63,92,0.145,0.8270000000000001,0.028,-0.8081,0,0,2,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,6,2,0,3,0,3,3,3,0,0,14,13,9,0,4,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,5,0,0,0,6,13,1,8,13,3,15,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,4,3,43,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457997691605756,0.0,0.20181887262491052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5391691852042843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20973350193593815,0.25247771865871105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475495907403668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586262010309478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323816224249824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20709248900329905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522653274171154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886114686472556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651785580740883,0.0,0.0,0.1678740320877215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15756885633515494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882588638247716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726665809832137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FlyAKite5,2019/04/06,"Anyone can commit suicide. Speak to your friends, family, anyone. I’ve recently heard the news that a young man in my street has took his own life. I hardly knew him at all as he recently has just moved here but the one small encounter I have had with him he was kind and funny. I could never of thought that had was struggling with so many daemons. It’s devastating that he felt that way. I wish he could have sought some help.

The reason for me writing this message is because people within your friendship groups (or anyone in that matter) can have problems and one day it might be too much. Check up on them. For me personally just speaking with them and knowing that they’re okay and if they’re not helping them through it makes me happier.  Look out for people, be kind because you never know who’s struggling. ",3.2433333333333367,5.640815414012742,3.3735286624203837,89.51833970276009,76.38853503184714,5.715329087048832,24.47940552016985,6.742157984588678,0.8492941825902345,648,22,124,6,15,198,106,157,0.117,0.698,0.184,0.9121,0,0,0,0,0,2,16.0,0,3,3,0,5,7,0,2,4,1,17,1,0,2,4,34,27,9,1,5,6,0,2,0,1,1,1,3,0,2,11,8,0,0,6,0,1,2,3,3,0,2,9,6,17,4,17,13,4,18,0,0,1,0,25,9,0,4,6,87,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058570893767598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777664406061962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328316911134363,0.0,0.0,0.09403411542527827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745483186901766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399985722785718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265092045579705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130615353142664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19546409484042546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036732464692026,0.16026455755406235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298852197193112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224420205204889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973279906620468,0.1478264545436663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467927546568713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549708581740105,0.10718567719597913,0.0,0.22491227937868336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760658612930332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20216985483399968,0.12731394565019327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951859063927455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14991493669809275,0.28793567374955786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30486041759509697,0.0,0.15949031662856245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575528702483286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619980836719161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573562552899873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767203593086322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MedQ7,2019/04/06,"Any change in state of mind causes panic attacks? too much alcohol is a given, but I've been getting pretty serious panic attacks from too much sugar, caffeine, and even being tired after exercise.

 It seems my body interprets any change in my mental state as panic attack worthy.

Has anyone had this? ",6.340555555555554,8.249102870370368,6.937962962962962,69.36583333333336,66.5925925925926,8.362962962962964,28.314814814814817,8.841846274778883,2.7386814814814806,241,8,33,4,4,79,44,54,0.34700000000000003,0.547,0.106,-0.9553,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,7,3,3,1,0,5,5,1,1,0,6,8,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,3,1,2,0,6,4,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641731665596713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089338698259353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741474479385216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.524295118461741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063729838433409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781015787696345,0.3250193900640603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146462630675712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026016108837827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481292756685405,0.0,0.15511250742940658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585689646801066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5407202592613346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628686770951375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984996820783974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656370492365814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Deadthereal,2019/04/06,"I don't know if I should get help In the last few months I have noticed that I started to care less and less about other persons and myself. It started after an incident that forced me to hide my feelings for a while. After that it felt like my emotions were getting more and more numb everyday. It's not like depression. I don't feel depressed. I just don't feel. There are no good emotions like love or happiness. But I don't have any negative emotions either. This is the main reason why I decided to not get help until now. I mean I am not happy but no one can hurt me anymore (which happened a lot in the past). I am only 16 so maybe it's just a puberty thing idk.
 I hope someone can explain to me what this is.",1.2386800894854562,3.319379624161076,3.014201342281879,91.14461297539152,81.61744966442953,5.852527964205817,24.02729306487696,7.03164865440522,0.9112895749440708,560,21,119,7,15,186,92,149,0.118,0.7020000000000001,0.181,0.7698,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,6,13,0,0,7,0,15,2,0,1,0,25,31,10,0,3,10,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,13,3,0,0,9,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,2,4,18,9,11,28,8,13,0,3,0,1,5,2,0,4,14,92,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715256436122212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141682911263954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565958730173806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460974758948692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4821090343571942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21670931715851535,0.0,0.1371720492843633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22392196551789945,0.0,0.0,0.1198277243327097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633435238797022,0.3041632241365333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915177420339892,0.0,0.0,0.1418963996026726,0.0,0.0,0.15293909558935534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851443564581041,0.1164534020251726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20938871543962229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145804564334935,0.12894053068553266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352630495047206,0.15562101083487093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403285239774864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265185423289774,0.0,0.0,0.09680848858053837,0.10865467225213736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638005743108955,0.0,0.1247435209022349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468882057189417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104838468425592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022400515968837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491263550109984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891273178726645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Minstrel101,2019/04/06,"why is life like this? I’m 20yo female, at the moment I am struggling with my mental health, I’ve never been diagnosed with a mental health problem, but I am constantly crying and overwhelmed to which I think I may have depression, I constantly feel lonely around people who are my friends, work is not going right for me I feel emotionally exhausted from long night shifts, I am overweight and have been failing at like when it come to relationships, driving tests, I feel like ending it al sometimes as I am crying every night ",5.947959183673468,7.525174204081638,5.884285714285718,77.8107142857143,67.16326530612245,8.457142857142857,29.306122448979593,8.841846274778883,2.4306979591836733,424,15,72,7,7,133,67,98,0.268,0.615,0.117,-0.9618,0,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,2,11,0,2,2,0,12,6,0,0,1,15,19,5,0,1,2,0,3,3,1,1,6,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,4,0,0,3,2,7,0,0,2,3,12,4,10,16,0,16,0,4,0,0,3,4,0,1,12,47,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13650644441309032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209012362110406,0.0,0.33141536974918817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368768726217929,0.0,0.0,0.13207280841203928,0.15563839369164714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248854719548004,0.13581505396308868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291968264885939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326022079024272,0.10954719753864717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847126176247001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871475076490422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32598968577203696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830963560439036,0.2247447325279683,0.0,0.0,0.13570240125673474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090643294124583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826641724743488,0.0,0.0,0.28780121838365313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630768792482953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672710533991742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646313834929838,0.0,0.13095280231898002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165866346231274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030582878413602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825504091337246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383668521207065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116344375746718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,midcho,2019/04/06,"Feel like everyone left me.. i just dont know what to do anymore.. Im sorry.. I dont know how should i start this.. but..6 months ago my parents died.. in a casual car crash... and that realy broke me.. i was realy close with my parents..and now when they are gone.. i still dont know what to do..and i live with my uncle now.. but there was a person that realy helped me with that.. that person was a online friend..but he was the only one for me..i didnt have any in real life... but .. he just stoped wanting to talk with me anymore.. and i realy think he left me too..i know people will say that he is just a online friend..but he is the only and best one to me.. and i dont know anymore..after my parents and now he leaving me too.. im alone... yes my uncle is taking care of me right now.. but im still not even a bit close with him...i have tried to end my life before.. and i feel like now everything is gone.. everyone left me.. and im close to just trying it again.. to just end it... i dont use reddit as much as i want to... but i just want.. or i can say need someone.. who will not leave me.. a friend..i know that they are good people here..if someone here doesnt mind.. to be friends.. and maybe talk with me...just add me on discord (wlop 3025).. i will defenetly respond there.. 
amm..im 17 btw..male..do you need that info i dont know...",-1.5935268583830715,0.3189760652920981,0.9807713872309662,101.67048426478571,94.18900343642612,3.75044311810454,13.499819135467535,5.201330872628262,-1.3361807560137458,989,17,252,5,38,335,123,291,0.021,0.879,0.1,0.9644,3,1,0,0,0,1,102.0,0,1,2,1,21,8,0,0,8,1,27,2,0,2,0,52,48,17,1,6,13,2,2,2,1,4,2,2,0,2,13,18,0,0,11,1,0,3,10,1,0,2,7,4,35,7,22,36,3,27,0,1,0,0,21,10,0,1,16,145,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501110254865909,0.0,0.0,0.07595767506100895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987342160050959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454662903344876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624065712036023,0.0,0.07696535260256201,0.0,0.08006781418010375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477457806101319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611489343032538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5157205694937237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991417896688362,0.0,0.0,0.048440093408990234,0.0,0.0,0.14015820147957206,0.0659128753366829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416537903017444,0.10478760498982836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266478752381158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061513750608318936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915796693191179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960965963562929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28213856252844105,0.0,0.0,0.15531202759754648,0.2390509677689281,0.0,0.1036038124873173,0.07166001743183803,0.0,0.06476018275794017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367945421330876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405205757193792,0.0,0.058538943993243824,0.0,0.05391302151401348,0.10876072173798476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939357951548716,0.11155609352621454,0.0,0.0,0.16286982365802466,0.0,0.0,0.10168884517304973,0.1280745650059726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347648519450676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263159090341536,0.0,0.11664513724469305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428075703636772,0.0,0.0,0.0820976427007031,0.05191012416459757,0.0,0.1171381485151675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055142228400145855,0.1178951344489536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469930342666119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958550595034392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334183995662912,0.0,0.0,0.12977273325101588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whyyoutsk,2019/04/06,"Can't bring myself to kill myself, can't live fully. Some advice would be great. I never had a shitty backstory that left a scar. I'm not sure if it's out of laziness or indifference, i can't put my mind into anything. I landed a job that i think I'll lose any day now because I'm not good at it. I'd start a movie or a book and drop it midway thinking what's the point of this. I don't think it's depression. I have 1 friend in the city I live in whom I hang out with once a month or so, otherwise am mostly homebound. There's no love life or anything either. How do I turn it all around without making too many changes?",1.5485093582887686,2.774693463235298,3.461229946524064,92.26826203208557,77.60294117647058,6.12192513368984,21.18716577540107,6.574015621080383,0.18874411764705856,485,12,113,4,11,164,92,136,0.132,0.735,0.133,0.486,1,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,1,0,8,0,10,2,0,2,3,27,20,8,1,2,9,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,3,1,0,3,9,3,0,0,1,0,12,5,12,17,4,19,0,2,0,1,3,10,0,7,5,71,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852876150389345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728069410138325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28384456341254216,0.15352855585705602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105131790355075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18244289303059427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122431067870182,0.0,0.14854205331233114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324441792589148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465370805939082,0.0,0.19014096922402332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114282860292612,0.0,0.19080465951786196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738145840563175,0.0,0.12181565501351105,0.0,0.0,0.30457582176018383,0.0,0.0,0.19294188411852406,0.0,0.0,0.15565451139688002,0.0,0.1151203328937706,0.1748503235483812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413837737541016,0.0,0.13765825089128206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301402966324352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366737259943386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303319669074814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733728610415149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207013670886345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254425345676002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315218106067552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875901241819794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662480927241032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122512704415407,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reeses_buttercup_97,2019/04/06,"I always feel like I can’t control my emotions Every time something bad happens to me I can’t help but to cry and start feeling bad for myself. Its so bad it’s getting to the point where the people around are starting to get annoyed with me. I just need help on how to not keep feeling this way, I feel trapped in my own emotions and I don’t have a way out.",3.4584415584415567,3.7355821168831165,4.361454545454547,91.22218181818184,71.98701298701299,6.16,29.685714285714287,3.1291,0.8772825974025982,281,11,63,0,5,91,54,77,0.267,0.614,0.119,-0.9535,0,1,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,1,0,3,0,5,0,0,2,0,16,16,5,0,1,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,4,11,1,11,16,1,11,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556190837258845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15573135094937465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4381961982366093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19620713917541688,0.0,0.0,0.19216048994080065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935619976557113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739228183655825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538143685078517,0.12497529430761115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827951143577294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469654130619032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23451366735505946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155492375111522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546556407603577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971384554148607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212795478485896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537236234987002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346753364908252,0.0,0.0,0.24764314617725844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020073890725393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777142882286939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Water_Rice_Donkey,2019/04/06,"I don't know if my issue is real or if i'm just a delusional priviledged girl Ok so here's the thing : I genuinely don't care about anything or anyone.  
I don't ever feel strong emotion, I may be pissed off sometimes but it fades away pretty quickly. And while I don't experience strong negative emotions, I dont have genuinely positives one either.  
I'm not an associal, I have a lot of friends, I'm close with my family. But I've never missed someone. I've never cried someone's death, even when they were close to me. If the closest personns to me were to disappear from my life rn I KNOW I wouldn't care. I just can't seem to genuinely love anyone.  
Nobody ever noticed because I'm good at pretending to care. But it's like I'm lying the whole time.  
Btw I also lack empathy.  
And it's the same for study. Nothing sparks my interest. I don't have things I like, just things I hate a little bit less.  
Part of me think it's maybe just because I had an easy life so I feel the need to create myself problems to feel like I'm relevant. Everyone's always surrounded by love,so according to our society being unable to love is impossible so it kinda makes me think I'm a fraud and that's why I'm reluctant to go and see a specialist.  
HS : Sorry if I made any typos, english isn't my native tongue !  
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mentalhealth,OldDisneyRules,2019/04/06,"An online support group As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression heavily, support groups were always helpful. People just sharing their issues and hearing from others. Im currently stuck in a country where I dont have that opportunity available for me. 

I know some people also prefer online interaction. I am starting a whatsapp support group and adding people. Hopefully its helpful. If you would like to be a part of the group let me know. Message me telling me a little about yourself and ill add you. So far I know one more person who is interested. If we can get some more it may be nice.. Idk maybe im just dreaming out loud. But let me know if u r down for this.. ",2.5862790697674427,5.372144372093025,3.954697674418604,82.02693023255817,82.02325581395348,5.92062015503876,27.97984496124031,7.3011,1.919044031007752,540,25,93,8,15,177,91,129,0.12,0.7070000000000001,0.173,0.8109999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,2,1,1,6,11,0,0,6,0,12,1,0,0,0,23,24,11,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,0,1,7,7,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,2,13,9,11,16,5,8,0,2,0,0,18,6,0,7,3,68,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767861028937868,0.12244351011042202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257203381519268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674310416044435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724628199871144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688163642271705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585270268594002,0.0,0.19726779430729688,0.0,0.0,0.1461566404892048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3179020890105586,0.15359003472535376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32348688694089683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009488717158567,0.0,0.0718917728960448,0.1474864775234942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783548146485184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971502801613392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935291336646462,0.0,0.3060531503580368,0.12848877060247935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468269308901145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415601310721076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5009641843174469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861865544112255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453363280262827,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hoshisgirl,2019/04/06,"Does betterhelp work? Or are there any other things like it that do? Im 14F in Canada, Ive really been suffering lately and i need someone to talk to, preferably free because i dont have a job",1.4680000000000002,3.583901800000003,3.6500000000000017,86.70500000000001,81.0,7.0,22.5,8.07648339933343,1.3352499999999994,152,5,31,3,4,52,35,40,0.083,0.765,0.152,0.4179,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,7,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,3,3,6,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,19,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21578466076851124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343190191341592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27768395381937544,0.0,0.3718900921849242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427539837187801,0.0,0.3148855614814298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3579444438634379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502377875791032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23528459339683336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20327971825260685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26885944593855937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550452804010698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108095755259851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23100864911509364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnthroSurveyThing,2019/04/06,"What are the causes of the growing mental health crisis in universities and colleges? [https://forms.gle/sQJGj7z2ywrtN2nm9](https://forms.gle/sQJGj7z2ywrtN2nm9)

​

​

An academic survey on mental health in universities/colleges for a research report. If you have attended either or are currently attending please fill out my survey. Thanks :)",16.223,21.552202355555558,11.610833333333336,31.85625000000001,47.66666666666667,10.722222222222225,40.138888888888886,10.686352973137794,6.018888888888888,306,13,24,7,4,87,36,45,0.077,0.736,0.187,0.5859,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,6,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,4,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,1,20,3,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40808752467913895,0.45765685380491794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345568176169756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003489828933937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795628982428382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671791806445367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733790075267409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45765685380491794,0.0
mentalhealth,stryami,2019/04/06,"Brief Mental Health Survey As part of a school project, my group and I are working with a third part non profit organization to raise awareness and improve our school resources regarded mental health. It shouldn't take more 5 minutes.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeuIXPys9oieVHdyHlSo92S1vQX2V9phIb-hpc1YJXHtJsWkQ/viewform",16.45357142857143,22.120327452380952,7.890714285714285,57.19178571428574,48.28571428571429,7.057142857142857,31.92857142857143,8.07648339933343,2.7063142857142863,291,9,30,3,4,69,36,42,0.0,0.858,0.142,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,4,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,18,4,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4947330872840349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4690465880767797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5040181477820769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710426376455096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497369502488613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942023738492082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,giraffebacks,2019/04/06,"Staying strong helping someone through trauma. Hello friends, so my(20) girlfriend (20) is experiencing PTSD from an event that happened when she was in 3rd grade. Everything I’ve read essentially says you can’t do anything but be there for them until they decide to seek help. I’ve tried to get her to go see a counselor but she keeps saying “I’ll make an appointment tomorrow.” But never does. She always drinks too much, and typically drinks almost every night. It wasn’t always this way, when we first met it was bad like this, but she went through a period where she was really on an upward trend, but now it’s back. My question is how do I stay strong and support her here? Every time she gets drunk I feel like I need to baby sit her and have to clean up anything left in her path. I can’t talk to her most times because she’s so emotional and everything I say is wrong and only upsets her. I’ve tried reassuring her I’m here for her and validate her feelings but nothing I do helps and it feels like she takes it out on me. It’s just like a brow beating every other day now and I can barely handle all this stress from her as well as all of the difficult classes I’m taking. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone but I can’t seem to help her and it’s killing me. Any advice other than leaving her is appreciated because that’s not an option.",2.9883465566486827,4.762891379562046,4.1721453506823245,86.36880831482071,74.98540145985402,6.809013011742303,23.956839098698826,7.586124646067393,1.0659484608060934,1074,33,218,14,23,351,158,274,0.118,0.6779999999999999,0.204,0.9788,0,0,2,0,0,0,23.0,1,1,2,4,16,19,1,2,8,0,17,5,0,2,4,37,38,24,1,1,9,0,3,4,2,0,0,3,1,0,14,11,3,1,6,4,0,2,6,7,1,1,6,8,37,12,25,31,5,30,0,0,1,2,41,8,0,5,20,141,51,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447106210851084,0.0,0.0,0.1070547655478032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17791510894928553,0.0,0.0,0.07270235993107803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475384861644055,0.0,0.1759553844033308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220707079053734,0.08926525401008283,0.13034249705217515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894800486991365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355752482943444,0.0,0.0,0.20946189199350607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025918468996988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096706074490765,0.2702284633502371,0.0,0.19216734818013095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217048803670234,0.15275282765456558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093745858680607,0.0,0.0,0.08259828017798962,0.0,0.11171196176924036,0.0,0.06075932801358395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454002186519657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866376591516926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502638144842862,0.11827990223866505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320208810284407,0.11615785818627665,0.0,0.0,0.20892299797387795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19298061627584773,0.0,0.0713631509564004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859103645384763,0.07927229458503804,0.0824554623807105,0.0,0.0,0.1003276462070667,0.0,0.10258287857435816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130975381048433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497188636552085,0.0,0.11976349260935915,0.0,0.10693877519901844,0.0,0.06848918357057655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550569966936162,0.0,0.0,0.08519330390577319,0.09732670661264024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905843637813747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279033375309196,0.0,0.0,0.12246486495037713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132002389258267,0.0,0.0,0.16076579500244895,0.08593008283537422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467997942166754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451695324919604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486005782589401,0.0,0.0,0.09612478900146236,0.09910649635781567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688913129097528,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blakeamann77,2019/04/06,"Someone please tell me what the fuck is going on okay, so, this is gonna be long but please bear with me. i’m 16 years old in my junior year of high school. back in october, i took a bunch of dabs with my friends. i had a full on panic attack. it was the first time i had ever experienced a panic attack. my whole body was shaking, i was crying, incredibly scared, couldn’t eat, drink, sleep, or even listen to music. i was also extremely paranoid and was spasing out in the bathroom of my friends house thinking there was someone watching me behind the shower curtain. it was truly the most terrifying night of my life. after that i was fine, i continued to take edibles and smoke weed and every time i would have maybe a 5 minute experience where i thought it was gonna happen again and was super anxious, but then it wore off and i was fine. once january rolled around, literally my entire life changed. i smoked with my cousin and had the same 5 minute freak out but then was fine. the mornin after was weird though. i was really really anxious and confused. that day we went to my grandmas house and the whole time i felt really fucking weird. i would pick stuff up and hold it to make sure it was real. i felt like i was actually dreaming. i desperately tried to come up with an explanation, maybe the weed was still wearing off, maybe i had too much caffeine, etc. eventually i convinced myself that i had diabetes and had high blood sugar. i went to the doctor and explained what was going on, got some tests done, learned i didn’t have diabetes. soon after i started seeing a therapist who diagnosed me with depersonalization/derealization disorder and anxiety. it was at this point that i started having weird thoughts. i truly believed that i had died right after smoking weed and i just didn’t remember it. i really thought i was in purgatory and that everything around me was fake. i kept wondering where i was buried and i people missed me. once i did some research of dpdr, i realized i wasn’t the only person experiencing this, so that belief sort of disappeared. once it disappeared however, i became absolutely convinced that i was developing schizophrenia/psychosis or that something was physically wrong with my brain. i got an mri and everything looked fine, but my diagnoses just didn’t seem right to me. i was absolutely convinced that it was schizophrenia and i thought that my therapist, doctor, psychiatrist and parents were just wrong. i started tricking myself into thinking that i was experiencing the symptoms, like i would listen really hard to see if i was hearing voices, make sure i wasn’t hallucinating, etc. i totally thought i was going crazy and everyone in my life was just watching my mental health decline and laughing about it. it finally started getting better at the beginning of march, so my dumbass decided to smoke with my friends one more time to see if it would make me feel any better cuz i’m an idiot. of course it didn’t. i had another little panic attack thing, but this time instead of turning into a fun experience, it just died and everything felt regular, almost as if i didn’t even smoke. all my friends were doing acid that night, but i decided not to because of what i was experiencing. i know it sounds stupid but i became convinced that i accidentally tripped acid as well because the acid was on their tongues and then we were sharing joints/the juul so i thought i got their saliva on my tongue and it made me trip. i didn’t hallucinate or anything but i did feel quite strange and scared of everything. since then it’s been a complete downward spiral. i am constantly obsessing over existential thoughts that any be answered. i feel like i’m living in a simulation sometimes. i am tortured by the idea of solipsism and am even starting to believe in it. i also truly believe that i am the only person alive and that the rest of the people i know are actors that are in on it. it feels like the more i find out, the people who are controlling the simulation are trying harder for me to not find answers. it’s terrifying. seems like a delusion to me. i also have had periods where i firmly believe that nothing/no one around me is real. i have fallen into a deep depression because of it and i find myself constantly questioning my own life/existence. the only thing that has stopped me from killing myself is that i’m too scared of what happens after death. i am also super afraid that i might be being controlled or that i am being possessed by a demon/the devil, so i am finding myself praying to God a lot more often and avoiding anything that has to do with Satan. it got so bad that i begged my parents to admit me into a hospital and had been in a partial hospitalization program for almost 3 weeks. there i got diagnosed with ocd, but it still doesn’t feel right. i thought the hospital would help me, but i find myself continuously doubting my diagnosis and telling myself not to listen to people because they are not real and i’m alone in this world. i really want to kill mussel to escape but i’m too scared of what happens after death. i don’t know what to do, please fucking help me before i go bat shit. also sorry for the length, i just really need help. thanks for reading, please share anything that will help me. thanks!",5.443524490224931,6.8218763422885615,6.1803727839674885,75.96386588185833,68.16417910447761,8.88585242800084,31.269357438161308,9.230904247140556,2.837206712914301,4224,172,748,81,71,1384,382,1005,0.191,0.67,0.139,-0.9971,4,2,6,0,0,1,100.0,2,0,3,8,42,68,13,13,41,1,99,25,6,8,5,162,180,68,6,11,28,3,9,5,4,9,13,6,2,2,67,53,3,6,41,4,0,14,15,37,1,3,80,29,130,31,97,85,19,105,4,2,6,3,31,47,4,22,49,552,197,9,0.0,0.0,0.04073684129032026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360264762536007,0.04323495769044144,0.0,0.16691625437441773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056775704918394815,0.043772996244001335,0.031934609332207924,0.09431934065865012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305708432116338,0.1114849982430062,0.0,0.14247199346251524,0.0,0.03209912579064703,0.034855111484321744,0.1017888161811601,0.0,0.035521696305556016,0.18812809270249212,0.0,0.07383965456169499,0.0,0.046368991821250635,0.0,0.046600931995438806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04416039629765936,0.03595939435468171,0.043768562226503084,0.09022246061483473,0.09364054372219292,0.0,0.0,0.04585463310764702,0.02692190172999396,0.0,0.03595468056977468,0.12711008716005853,0.08664889214761767,0.0,0.04784308487816396,0.08545501382249816,0.0,0.042719359129958265,0.0,0.040893949600624896,0.0,0.0427152872518838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311283233638633,0.08271601470331674,0.037760504296621436,0.035171741124288496,0.0398888848695705,0.15006991059944494,0.08166872540277367,0.0,0.0,0.10553696587901304,0.059644896510840366,0.1202444811070124,0.04572931861269382,0.19076966547266136,0.03550805173069911,0.0,0.0,0.12900752015747946,0.1157770093021845,0.021809901986944158,0.0,0.09489798354852524,0.0,0.16693539705557608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074419845831962,0.0,0.03739508460128476,0.0,0.0,0.044372703063935065,0.04704935220111053,0.0,0.11192246833475393,0.08821121258444085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633564284384373,0.0,0.047124726572684864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236873237189644,0.0,0.06882544675022649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794216834203596,0.10197184877213968,0.04183919293159828,0.03686136732484144,0.03694277836899941,0.03505506516615111,0.0,0.0,0.03548988235540685,0.0,0.0394998792321695,0.08359480774603052,0.0,0.12581459673464002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420688761492392,0.04428456879634193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0306871847018756,0.03095319333396396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834921509576186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043804078969521536,0.13337034662535316,0.056574627930647624,0.09524626010162036,0.0,0.1469353624129766,0.09270517994723387,0.0,0.0,0.1157621771628842,0.07289978787275121,0.0,0.1832927408477795,0.039462269293933885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04676365886080879,0.044400665965400814,0.041756033440935376,0.1425439484278228,0.1871992309557632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04728864905630818,0.10694933121449192,0.0,0.0,0.16717505554898593,0.04224790220811951,0.09979545137522447,0.07600568097867673,0.0,0.0,0.04285037235747842,0.034531677594911867,0.0,0.04177488427194074,0.0,0.07074035991606635,0.032137137792155886,0.041286612028531317,0.04672981506870688,0.1477356975552041,0.0,0.06667480134064338,0.03490046910543712,0.0,0.0,0.04778773620630181,0.0,0.0,0.07868784066424568,0.04338876522871006,0.031386846818601086,0.0,0.0729734797381226,0.07686588998331423,0.0,0.09693771361983704,0.05546669634166124,0.053496683426146,0.04101399188007709,0.2651252642014692,0.12170845842533247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046379938486561856,0.056683872075943616,0.04540628625097591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02462212728765989,0.0,0.033485109794944734,0.0,0.037533531654706666,0.07739557832842797,0.0,0.09321301551996074,0.0,0.0,0.04527038626411136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827131626264894,0.09128263281460602,0.0,0.05376448358844138
mentalhealth,depressedfoxxx,2019/04/06,"Should I ask for help or not? Hi there!

Something kinda weird is happening to me. I don't feel emotions at all. Nothing. I've been depressed for years but I don't even feel depressed these days. I don't feel negative emotions, I don't feel positive emotions. I feel nothing. I wish I could cry or something but nothing comes. That's a really weird sensation. I can feel something's wrong, but I don't know what to do, I thought about going to the psychiatric emergency room but what could they do? I mean, I already have an antipsychotic medication. I don't feel like killing myself or whatever so I'm not in danger. I thought about self harming to see what would happen, but nothing more. I have no idea what to do. Should I seek help or wait and see what happens next?",1.0290476190476203,3.630883684210527,2.29338345864662,91.51201754385968,90.44736842105264,5.526817042606517,25.00125313283208,7.07126945348624,1.2875121553884714,608,27,122,10,21,194,81,152,0.153,0.662,0.18600000000000005,0.7462,0,0,3,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,1,0,5,9,2,0,3,0,19,1,0,0,1,34,41,11,1,6,11,0,7,1,0,3,1,0,1,1,7,2,0,1,12,0,0,2,10,8,0,0,3,9,20,1,11,33,2,8,0,2,2,0,6,3,0,5,4,79,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304998823566556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424334961289804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605281447205737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805743379831288,0.0,0.12248444796177832,0.07191234664855795,0.0,0.1920804465229276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762887784823395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364886753282449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3946665926836235,0.07966013167870441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337160685780636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958139907322649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14948066116154124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587705382037973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336521335740687,0.0,0.0612809530146723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05447635171423742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146306312495815,0.0,0.11233087843032348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185882279811646,0.0,0.0,0.4279732553923521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143379884445654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777121880224634,0.0,0.11632540219365348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257529020391663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704711293951045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822675596614747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921088487770787,0.12191464777994444,0.0,0.07180640914540568
mentalhealth,Original_Vanilla,2019/04/06,"I rarely feel connected to anyone, even myself. The only things that make me truly happy, and even motivated, is learning or going to the gym. But other than that, I don’t feel much at all. Just loneliness sometimes. Even when I’m with friends, who I do truly care about, I just can’t feel connected. It’s like I a have a brick wall around me that I can’t get around. I’m only relaxed around people when I drink, but I don’t want to rely on alcohol to feel this way. It’s awful. 
I have my husband, who is a great man that I love very much, but doesn’t understand. He tries, but to him it’s just a “go talk to people, try to have fun” easy fix. One morning, we had a serious conversation and he expressed his genuine concerns to me, and told me that if something ever happened to him, there wasn’t anyone that I had, that I would want to be there for me. He was right. 
I have my dad, husband, and one or two other people that are all plane flights away from me. That’s it. 

What could this be? And if any of you have experienced this, how can I get fix this?

I’m seeing another therapist in 3 weeks, but a little motivation/help until then would be greatly appreciated. ",3.3501985294117667,4.22636972083334,4.862549019607844,85.34558823529412,72.625,7.813725490196079,25.367647058823533,8.124751697461798,1.3358455882352938,903,27,195,13,17,304,127,240,0.031,0.784,0.185,0.988,0,0,3,0,0,0,37.0,1,1,0,1,16,10,0,0,8,1,25,3,0,3,3,39,45,19,0,7,12,3,4,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,23,10,2,0,7,3,0,2,6,1,0,3,5,6,28,9,24,34,4,19,0,0,1,1,20,10,0,4,7,142,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461677266152894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856595625370623,0.13208380995311245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17615334568276728,0.0,0.0,0.33640291010625706,0.0,0.0,0.11834694184467645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842827782913455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057167904996624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339636604202782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495932950362969,0.11394128118273665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25476390908199664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731915928269347,0.0,0.1316215564994283,0.0,0.14317602516956707,0.0,0.0,0.27775061136700363,0.0,0.0,0.11138918905650662,0.13409058675242425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844307410132838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061539448744647424,0.1262486117460181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368706039248845,0.0,0.08408167627552493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519546843741866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17071238080449552,0.1916019768273029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619818847259568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075722199443399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037667485035824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697292771357442,0.1245812140979894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124476442621216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625343981115352,0.08368461388250263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036361091173768,0.0,0.1710420220025833,0.0,0.12304812687852802,0.13113254238429908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393315598295423,0.14859318120131168,0.09998403679229928,0.10104039608713536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896184441719484,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mn589b,2019/04/06,"my mom always judges me  I'm not even sure how I should start this off but anyways here goes nothing. whenever I open up to my mom she always judges me or puts me down in some way. im going off track a bit but a couple minutes ago she told me to go order something with my brother and I don't know why but I just tensed up and the thought of going out to order made me really uncomfortable and so I said no so she then started to yell at me about how im such an asshole and I can't do the simplest shit, how do I expect to live alone in a different state for college, I should never ask her for shit because she won't do anything for me ever again, and she didn't raise me like this and how i used to be sooo outgoing when i was younger and it's not normal for me to act like that when nobody else gives a shit about me or ordering the food. like I already know that it shouldn't be a big deal and I already feel kinda stupid for acting like that but I can't help the way that I reacted. it's not as if I WANTED to react like that either it's just the first thing that I did. is there something wrong with me? I can't help but feel like shit and cry when she yells at me and she just makes it even worse by blaming me for a bunch of shit. she also goes on to say how she might be shy at times but she never was scared to do something like that. all she ever does is compare me to herself by putting me down and honestly I'm so tired of it and I don't know what else to do. not to mention any time I've ever tried to tell her I feel depressed she says I have nothing to be depressed about and other people have it way worse. I'm also aware of that but it's not like I chose to be depressed or have those thoughts? I'm just rambling now but can someone please give me some advice on what to do or how to help myself cause im tired of this and I feel as if I can't talk to anyone in my personal life about what happens. ",1.445812985571585,2.6002556179245317,3.077302996670369,95.21131520532741,77.72641509433963,5.837291897891233,21.432852386237517,6.068283710208149,-0.008620477247503366,1498,38,362,9,34,496,178,424,0.252,0.721,0.027000000000000003,-0.9987,1,1,3,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,34,21,6,1,12,0,32,9,5,12,7,80,60,45,0,8,24,3,4,8,0,5,3,5,0,1,25,18,1,0,9,0,0,7,17,11,0,1,9,9,59,10,55,41,6,48,0,3,0,0,33,17,5,10,25,256,84,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345997697937971,0.06663795385748413,0.0,0.0,0.07785845566991831,0.1659145955924594,0.1202345739283338,0.12510296673468604,0.0,0.0,0.051121464442817066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256399128765435,0.0,0.061862482427148535,0.0,0.07027832120188006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045825880581851684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207144776247788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722526157528821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317952310705502,0.08257602435127194,0.0,0.07750195213145912,0.19424392108657754,0.0,0.0,0.07854170056471657,0.0,0.0,0.06578600314295176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559785385873184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930453669892698,0.20399982145713366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15204261770322866,0.053704915871269764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394367473177874,0.09090170672482503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422910005462458,0.12817077036675914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647685674559273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116431826477464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436051598233501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394236703392315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309820788550592,0.2938130102608342,0.0,0.06638075499789946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113224484188446,0.05017978491487072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974861826345023,0.0,0.17608771219674554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595893151770015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365537542482113,0.14426455989743306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052116763958822455,0.06563976473708788,0.0,0.0825193922941535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114294162382064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04815892312079015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150848125349275,0.11956408934295305,0.07526312240646924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858294300322424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369539223368767,0.17361977796280886,0.0,0.0,0.10641826774827012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708513906499467,0.0,0.0,0.06042268336820646,0.06570611769705065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049942818831864084,0.0,0.0,0.11936084092878126,0.08767009957831272,0.17280482423776755,0.0,0.07183277468608573,0.0,0.0510387771490741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492691929226566,0.0,0.0,0.04434006434448716,0.17901085052291707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783359428152776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532191548287478,0.0,0.08219187898038241,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,marydes81,2019/04/06,"This system will kill people. Yesterday, we picked up our daughter from school and took her to the ER in Birmingham, AL.  She is very depressed, having suicidal ideations, self harming, and only 11.  My husband took her, while I stayed home with the other kids.  He arrived at the ER at 4.  One of her older siblings went through something similar before.  That time, we went to Children's Hospital, who sent us to UAB, and all the other kids in there with him claimed it was the nicest facility, so this time he just went to UAB.  My husband called and told me there are many people waiting to be seen.  We started to wonder whether it would be better to bring her back in the morning, since its said that its less busy then.  They stayed.  Because she is so young, they sent her next door to Children's Hospital.  I got a phone call around 10:30 last night from my husband, saying that since there are no longer any doctors on duty for the psychiatric unit at night, she won't be seen until morning.  He said he was told the doctor should be in around 8am.  I asked him if it would be better to just let them sleep at home, and come back in the morning.  (Closely supervised, of course.)  At this point, she can't leave without being seen.  Just now, at 12:30 the next afternoon, he has called to inform me that she has just now been seen by a social worker, and that now she has to wait and see the doctor, who will then decide whether to admit her or send her home with resources.  As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about how she has been waiting almost 24 hours.  Several times we have been frustrated and considered leaving, up until it was no longer possible.  If it is this hard to get help, it's no wonder so many end up taking their lives.  Last year, there were 2 suicides in my son's freshman class.  Who knows how many others I never heard about in other classes.  I was trying to take her to see a mental health professional, but was told she had to go to the ER.  But it seems the ER is not the place for this sort of thing, because they are already dealing with all sorts of other types of injuries and illnesses, along with all the poor folks who can't get insurance and go there cause they're desperate and can't be turned away.  When someone is bleeding to death, they need to be seen first, but the person who's feeling depressed, unimportant, worthless, and probably barely managed to drag themselves in there in the first place is waiting and spends the entire time wondering whether to just leave.  I wish there was an ER for mental health.  I feel like its ridiculous that they had to wait 20 hours just to see a social worker, and that something is wrong with this situation, though I don't know what.  I feel guilty complaining about it without being able to offer solutions, and I don't know what my part could be in helping fix it.  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mentalhealth,dumbbichenergi,2019/04/06,"I don't know what's wrong with me I've looked into the impostor syndrome, body dysmorphia, depression, eating disorder and many other communities, but I don't relate to any of them enough to know what it is that is wrong with me.

I've always been a shy kid but in the few recent years I've become even more reserved and anxious around other people. In some ways, I'm sad that I can't really connect with other people but in some ways I don't really care.

I've always been a bit chubby and hated my body. I'm in a constant loop of experimenting with fasting, intermittent fasting, counting calories, making myself vomit, keto, vegan and intuitive eating but can't commit to any of those and end up just eating chocolate and white bread for like a week.

I used to cut for a few years but stopped a year ago. I hate the scars. Cutting didn't make me feel better but not cutting doesn't either. I don't feel like starting again, it was pointless but it is something I used to on a daily basis.

I hate every inch of my body. My toes and fingers are short and thick. My feet look like a duck's. My arms and legs are short and fat. My back is long and weirdly curved. My bum is small but my boobs are big and sagging. My shoulders are board and droopy. My neck is short. My head is small and the back of my head is flat. My ears are big. My cheeks are super chubby. My lips look like I'm always making a sad face. My nose is long and nostrils huge. My eyes are small and an ugly color. My eyelashes are short and straight. My eyebrows are non-existent. My hair is thin and dirty blonde. My fingernails are brittle. My skin is pink and dry. There is not a single thing I like about my appearance.

I'm dumb, poor and lazy. I got into the school of my dreams and get perfect grades, but I don't deserve any of it. I'm just winging everything and by coincidence everything's turning out good. I haven't made any friends in my new school but my friends have made friends in their new schools. I'm afraid they're gonna abandon me once they realize everyone else is more important and better friends than I could ever be.

I'm boring. I don't have any hobbies and I spend my time studying, scrolling through Reddit or watching YouTube. I do occasionally read books, knit socks, frow tomatoes, watch anime and other boring stuff, but I feel like it's repulsive to other people. I'd love to dance ballet, play the violin and ride horses, but they are super expensive and I can't afford them.

I don't want to kill myself but I don't see any point in living. But I'm not depressed: I wake up every morning well rested at 5 am, do my morning routine, travel to school, pay attention in class, come home, do my homework and go to sleep. Routines are comforting but I get bored of them fast.

TLDR: I hate my body, personality and life but don't want to die. I have no idea what's wrong with me.",2.5054942208051045,4.472365253886012,3.7113946459412794,88.28569699083302,76.94473229706391,6.388215756609539,23.39713697356184,7.321109707123232,0.9093329081971572,2258,71,461,28,52,734,271,579,0.168,0.684,0.14800000000000002,-0.8545,1,0,1,0,0,2,72.0,0,0,6,5,11,43,9,1,17,0,52,33,26,7,3,88,93,46,2,3,23,0,8,6,4,1,3,1,2,2,18,39,5,2,8,7,4,6,19,22,1,0,7,22,68,21,46,83,11,61,0,5,11,2,13,31,2,4,28,270,86,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060617774989647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070144825302416,0.0,0.0,0.27901841962585017,0.0,0.0,0.07725379898718597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060875741102572475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516525642262832,0.0,0.0,0.07552411375479551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209591541025956,0.07465698247848751,0.3038342506113643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972145326185954,0.0,0.0,0.05890626045047015,0.0,0.0738981823642394,0.0,0.054598595721091665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779707729036652,0.0,0.07097119264924064,0.0,0.07837332272032982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20991992895579892,0.05712557186760098,0.0,0.0605674120253919,0.07065835194355068,0.0,0.04516660335895528,0.06185671757701014,0.1152319598449582,0.06534328743219835,0.12291721535069113,0.06689210560365534,0.0,0.0,0.10373013412689136,0.097706256500159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21133143977649804,0.0,0.07145502808919768,0.0,0.03886387295623391,0.05735676748988236,0.05469246717765223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700578754901658,0.14036223317349605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859414497435094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719655647610632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565612135887244,0.0,0.07516347748426347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830123122989025,0.20045210627766533,0.0,0.060383811884608674,0.12103434795947557,0.17227454765377506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171870558117022,0.1294120891393355,0.13693938971342942,0.06933005373894484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209026453134376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282610952038725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422253575312757,0.05970976386393478,0.0,0.0,0.06464443449928166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840192459832246,0.0,0.08761633863257941,0.0,0.06752037649837365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768306836773484,0.05449273137082044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843280476137406,0.0,0.0,0.05264489691470328,0.0,0.0,0.04840213598806463,0.0,0.0,0.05717160035262955,0.0,0.0,0.07828265424999517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04543090504809417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0398749215869062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07438152315933975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812263602351013,0.0,0.0,0.08066862464621505,0.1085591501494841,0.054853053956866696,0.0,0.061484906265955014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242996012451644,0.0,0.13211003953547212
mentalhealth,Whatasave91,2019/04/06,"Started paxil yesterday, just want to make sure what I'm experiencing is normal. Primary care prescribed 20mg/day after I told him about excessive worry and an occasional ""fight or flight"" feeling I get. Took the first dose yesterday and I felt weird to say the least.

I'm not familiar with anything stronger than ibuprofen so this is unfamiliar territory. It almost felt like I had heightened levels of anxiety, as well as difficulty sleeping despite being exhausted from work. Like my body kept trying to fight sleep. Are these normal symptoms for someone beginning treatment?",7.379897959183673,10.103190204081637,7.248724489795919,64.91145408163266,65.3265306122449,10.206122448979592,37.76020408163265,10.411451182825502,4.879832653061225,472,25,65,13,8,150,81,98,0.127,0.693,0.181,0.6035,0,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,4,9,2,0,3,0,5,7,3,1,1,16,19,6,0,3,3,0,3,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,6,5,6,5,12,12,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,8,39,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18827893189668024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383788806664527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472777726151735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20885233903962436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170305606666932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125996116929362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507061211917632,0.0,0.36106515941537976,0.0,0.0,0.15993316583816275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982348087652552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371811243474911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255075172982651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684473068556899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14952427593023546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763196891119776,0.0,0.15931217234492867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308439447205855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721044744791395,0.19542898713411805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966504294091815,0.2089016443310515,0.12765599168643266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090145966474092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16905620697387508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688375200104808,0.19094755560177887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Phyalis,2019/04/06,"What do I have? I want to know what mental disorder I might have.
I feel isolated like I can't relate to anyone.
I find most social media such as instagram and snapchat pointless and the people who use them I feel like they're wasting their time.
I have a severe interest in criminal psychology and a very specific part of them.
I do have a sense of humour though in common with the average redditor.
I have an interest in politics, computers and English (I am not a native speaker nor do I know any)
I sometimes feel completely dead inside and for example if I'm in school I take it out by working every second of the class and not taking a second off to think about anything else.
I get annoyed easily, but very very very rarely speak out on them.
I lie in a lot of situations to get out of trouble, so much that I feel it's become second nature.
I am extremely aware of time passing and keep a closs eye on it.
I stick to a schedule or routine if you could call it that.
I hope somebody can identify these traits and tell me as I'd like to read about what I might have.",4.122411674347159,5.023090211981568,5.604073732718893,80.65087250384029,70.84331797235023,9.104639016897082,28.752380952380953,9.3871,2.4701400307219665,844,31,168,18,15,286,127,217,0.086,0.8190000000000001,0.096,0.2508,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,4,1,5,9,1,0,12,0,16,1,1,1,0,35,32,17,1,5,6,0,4,3,0,2,0,2,0,0,11,12,0,1,8,1,0,1,4,2,0,3,0,7,27,7,30,29,4,16,0,0,1,0,10,11,0,8,7,121,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314390399770622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957722047205842,0.0,0.11271416394378606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127196571154505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398610941958236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360983325535767,0.0,0.0,0.1093589383469602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15697882434928664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442037674039482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540264567112395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27702342139964503,0.09785098260856448,0.0,0.0,0.1251875705074908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312173982101525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604154156003828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174471584241192,0.0,0.0,0.1505496247950084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20074902332578906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644650470666013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803296205545074,0.290605823774449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068828524241924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832453670182902,0.0,0.09495735131534844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700648810041954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862036774474695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547364603233646,0.0,0.0,0.15395936937982466,0.0,0.13962307699693904,0.0,0.0,0.13546626088406788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596791892338487,0.0,0.1197173122002766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776447518181696,0.13457176190877698,0.0,0.15973594316191533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829760362577672,0.0,0.4520564717507798,0.08078811398634188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971537068104702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,randolfdagreat,2019/04/06,Anxiety I allow people in my life to get to my life easily and piss me off and it’ll affect me for weeks maybe even months. And I’m never just calm. I get a crazy amount of anxiety and feel lots of anger. I don’t know how to stop letting the world get to me and stop caring. Please help me. ,0.4619270833333324,2.096739671875003,2.5825,95.54583333333336,81.96875,6.141666666666668,15.354166666666664,7.1686216300943375,-0.3866895833333333,225,3,55,3,6,76,44,64,0.247,0.586,0.16699999999999998,-0.6202,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,2,0,3,3,1,3,1,15,10,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,9,2,9,8,2,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,5,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565806653937517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23762029674196866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393399292284785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784218533972048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3652928370803729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621526717357828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280837316807574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23831973468231,0.3292344711961861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813935616669076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341401881220524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860263421518209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975031088161275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615745229993262,0.0,0.0,0.2558299947144949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38969734580781296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18694674807594866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gamer651,2019/04/06,"Please help, family member has schizophrenia, not safe anymore. 40 year old or more, man, relative at the 3rd floor in our house, no job, no dream, no goal, just ask my mother for money all the time, has a history of stealing money, caught him once, then he got right up to my face, it was honestly really scary, I do not feel safe anymore, and my mother thinks that as well. I live in my mother's house with cousin's, a total of 8 people. Any advice, suggestion, a sub reddit to post to, anything please. More info: talks to himself, seems to talk to some "" invisible person "" says random stuffs politics, without any correlation or sense, speaks english that doesn't make sense, claps very loudly most of the time for 15 years I have been living with him. It only keeps getting worst. Breaks his room, uses some kind of tool or hammer and breaks down the wall and makes loud noises at night, screams very loudly outside. Now he goes out our gate and clap around, move around, just now he went near my room to my mother's room with a flash light looking at, finding something probably looking at a imaginary ""ghost"", at the same time probably plotting again to steal my mother's money since she's not here right now. One time it got really bad, so we called the cops or, the local neighborhood cops, and he got arrested, resisted to get captured, and ran outside and got caught. Put into a mental hospital for a week or so and then family decides it was bad, and worst living there, facility is not good, a lot more crazy people, my mom gets locked up as well, for this one relative must be close to the relative patient at all times policy which I think is just stupid. We live in a third world country, Philippines, I don't want to make things worst so I am looking for a solution.",9.989128613322158,7.0039189413489735,9.13509216589862,72.95120967741937,60.46627565982405,12.440804356933393,36.38060326770004,10.451354775682146,3.4921183912861338,1393,41,268,23,14,440,194,341,0.155,0.7929999999999999,0.051,-0.9898,1,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,4,0,0,1,16,16,1,0,18,0,14,1,1,4,4,57,39,21,1,2,13,7,1,0,0,1,0,6,4,2,10,19,0,3,7,1,3,6,10,9,2,3,11,11,23,7,43,26,14,52,0,0,3,0,30,27,0,11,16,162,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886274359543676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233532734994197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17989284192597582,0.0,0.0,0.07463537867469386,0.16147798310466344,0.08478885601949576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145534893694673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926111267823302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100091797604644,0.0,0.04585880610407005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289483240856364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215531847598886,0.0,0.0,0.07607180597656778,0.2901526661000955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06079186012340476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20930285086797726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000214530565293,0.08061509441770873,0.0,0.09444630502418976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320346199609091,0.0,0.2284863066268631,0.0,0.0,0.07710680423855673,0.0,0.0,0.1816215791217172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140060159374648,0.0,0.0,0.10622248383938956,0.0,0.09639588018464064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511239245786205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517057588776716,0.09658866627099276,0.12291640521747292,0.0689786707712339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575487632417806,0.07919256559158717,0.0,0.19911474128548465,0.0,0.0,0.08686204468042995,0.0,0.1955720377359148,0.0,0.0,0.0911748950212712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620482472291625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549083963858983,0.0,0.07212538790788994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256656228881766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502496845933262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982249103313151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038256363817372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579660164908395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060254633331073414,0.11622913412457248,0.0,0.0,0.2644288922684722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833253722506485,0.0,0.14966799544506385,0.053495064584714716,0.0,0.07275115144111001,0.0,0.16309384453286174,0.08407643687484359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742805713967597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11681096796900105
mentalhealth,Lanolin12,2019/04/06,"I (28f) can’t get through to my boyfriend (31) I don’t want to make this long and rambly but I’d really appreciate any thoughts you guys have. 

Basically he had a big old breakdown in August of last year. One day I was at work and I just had this feeling like I needed to talk to him. Right then. It was 4pm so I only had another hour of work but I needed to speak to him. It turned out he had tried to take his life - he had thankfully called an ambulance. 

Since then there have been a lot of difficulties. He made some progress to finding himself again after August - but once the end of the university semester hit he again found himself unable to do the work, unable to shower or look after himself and was doing the minimum to get by. 

I recently had to move to a new city for my job he’s meant to be joining me in 8 weeks when he finishes uni. 

The thing is - the fight he had in him to get better has gone. As soon as I left he stopped talking meds, stopped speaking to people- isolating himself and when I got back for a visit last night he cried for an hour. Not because he missed me necessarily but just because he is SO DOWN. 

He’s got no light at the end of the tunnel. People are reaching out to him but he doesn’t want to speak to them. He thinks he’s stupid, worthless and whenever I ask what he wants he just says “I want to sleep”. 

How do I help him restart that fire to want to care about himself?",2.557858732749665,3.8708999453924955,3.916827422466241,89.67065291586289,75.14334470989759,7.143433743878917,25.36711678290548,7.7425588080867325,1.1379860216649362,1096,37,246,15,23,361,160,293,0.092,0.785,0.123,0.769,2,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,0,1,1,5,14,8,2,0,14,0,24,2,1,3,0,37,52,20,0,7,10,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,7,7,0,2,6,0,0,3,5,4,0,1,18,8,30,4,45,32,2,43,0,2,1,0,43,11,0,3,30,151,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861383866302422,0.12121956986598967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807297217889217,0.0,0.0,0.08889138407905442,0.0,0.14094073485247688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224124383818654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804333963299707,0.0,0.11786471485493867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698419981779238,0.07455421441778813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047794592307958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584522272019191,0.08258663240052201,0.0,0.0,0.10565882519519697,0.0,0.0,0.1267524557217034,0.0,0.0,0.18119300695842155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491616990242704,0.0,0.0,0.11446490405542707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748609093521884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276908576620293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471789810941575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18846335181701745,0.0,0.0,0.12560273327516727,0.0,0.08165364575336212,0.05647766754505626,0.0,0.0,0.10230480176824516,0.0970772002304368,0.0,0.0,0.09828132965210376,0.0,0.1093861234353656,0.07716573768843156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840860178635535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122867435255396,0.0,0.17143595841630893,0.0,0.1116498626730218,0.0,0.10848535590647043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213056465557556,0.12311316289373116,0.07833541968264654,0.08792110564013783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602887913385453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405808604402643,0.0,0.1141437757040043,0.0,0.0,0.09872412247808003,0.0,0.09193195198870134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562779485034424,0.0,0.11568624351000685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329816170224415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869188860089039,0.18583423357163226,0.0,0.10643148654029742,0.0,0.0,0.07680133471951955,0.07407357858285885,0.0,0.09177567577268947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848668335476691,0.12574260299372558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340927504980288,0.0,0.09272955827909292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524805508410899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444438505338848
mentalhealth,Turokki,2019/04/06,"Not well-off enough to have mental health problems It's going to be a long rant. Apologies in advance if it seems like I'm all over the place. This has been plaguing my mind every day for the past 14 or so years and it feels nice to let it all out.

I remember my mom jokingly mentioning in passing how in my home country (a third world country) there is no such thing as mental illness, because majority of us are too poor to afford help with depression and so and so. We just reach a boiling point and blow up for a few hours before gathering ourselves and brushing away the incident- back to the daily grind until the next meltdown.

I've held on to that thought for so long, repressing everything and giving myself that one or two moments a year to let everything out. Deep down though I know there's so many things wrong with me but I just can't walk up to a counselor and get help. Because I can never afford it financially; I can't afford to jeopardize my job; and I can't stand the thought of people I know personally knowing how screwed up I really am.

(Not so)Little bg: I am the first born daughter of my paternal family's first son. We are Chinese(traditional thinking Chinese people are incredibly harsh); so that meant that when(if) I marry I wouldn't be able to carry on the family name. Soon as I was born I was pretty much seen as nothing more than another man's future wife and nothing else. Now I have 2 older cousins(male and female) born out of wedlock and are only half Chinese(frowned upon by the older generation). My grandfather didn't approve of them at first but when I came along... Well... I originally wasn't the favorite.

My cousin and his family were given the world. Whatever his parents or sister wanted they just needed to tell him and he'd get it. Gaming consoles? No problem! Toys? Of course! He wanted some good food to eat? Get the ""expensive"" ones! He's a growing boy!

My sisters and I? Just if he remembered we existed, always the cheaper brands. As a child, it went over my head, when I was told about it later I felt cheated and all the more angry.

My mom wasn't too fond of her family(x10 worse than my dads) and she basically put herself through school and survived through her own means. She didn't have anyone to fall back on until I was old enough. My aunt felt wronged when my parents marriage wasn't met with.. ah... Restrictions. So she made it so that my mom had a hard time living under the same roof with her in-laws. My dad didn't do anything to stop it, not that he could do much as he wasn't in town most of the time, and he was too forgiving of his family. All the shit she received from her in-laws translated into depression, and later resulted to added stress and uncontrolled bursts of anger that lead to physical beatings and a few under-the-belt comments that stuck to my head that was cumulative to my own destruction. She's mellowed out since then ansd has spilled everything to me when I was old enough to understand. If I didn't already despise my older cousin the unfairness would have easily tipped the scales. I was around 13 or 14 then, but the root of my hatred for my cousin started way before.

I always thought I was a stupid child. I constantly tried my best in everything I do to please everyone, because it was the only way to get recognition. To actually get something nice. I was so hard wired to the thought that if I did something someone liked I would get a reward. So when the.. inappropriate things started I was dumb enough not to stop it. It was all in the hands of my male cousin. I'm not going into detail, but the years with him made me loath myself and killed my self-worth. I was a stupid child and that stupidity continued all the way through college. I just couldn't go far enough away that he couldn't find and corner me. And I had  decades of shame on my shoulder that I couldn't even tell anyone. 

My self-esteem-and grades-took a dive(and at the peak of puberty too). I felt like I was worthless and was nothing more than a nuisance. A waste of space and resources. I became skittish around older male figures and people of authority. I had trust issues(still do). I didn't know it then but I was doing self-harm and even let other people do it for me, like scratching, punching, slapping, pinching, anything that could induce pain on my body just so I could chase away that numb feeling. I never cut, made sure I wouldn't have anything permanent on my skin so my mom wouldn't freak out. Couldn't risk her starting up her suicidal tendency again. I was constantly anxious and tired, and yet I couldn't fall asleep easily. Then the sleep paralysis started and I became terrified of going to sleep and of the dark. My emotions were getting harder to control and I became a recluse, not wanting anyone to catch me at my weakest. By the time I started college garnering the attention of a group of people, or walking into a large or crowded space gave me the jitters, cold sweat, nausea, dizziness, and breathing problems(I think it may have been anxiety but I could be wrong).

Eventually, I started tiring of being alive. I had numerous plans to end my suffering. I had a lot of means, but I always managed to find something to stop myself from going through with it. If I couldn't afford counseling I certainly can't afford the cost of dying.

I am currently working in a country as far away from home, finally cutting contact with my cousin without him managing to corner me. I still give myself that one or two moments to feel sorry for myself, my pity party of one. I still squirm at being touched for more than a few seconds and being around large built men. I still can't fully trust anyone and have issues with intimacy. Sometimes I get so uncomfortable in my skin that I want to rip it off and crawl to a small space and be left alone. I've become a workaholic and obsess over one thing for months just so I can feel like I'm in total control of myself.

I can't help but think... If only I was born a boy, my family would have been better off. But I'm not, and I am broken.",4.5029481784531455,5.9258330661016965,5.159655172413796,82.22799435028251,70.45762711864407,8.06935515293201,28.817455678940192,8.53829466247534,2.120219267484902,4798,180,913,78,87,1546,465,1180,0.14800000000000002,0.76,0.091,-0.9974,10,1,3,0,0,0,151.0,4,0,2,15,52,51,13,6,58,1,100,23,13,12,11,191,165,97,3,29,37,19,14,5,0,7,6,0,2,10,41,65,3,8,31,3,3,18,36,32,2,13,59,17,140,19,146,78,29,152,0,5,1,1,83,61,3,18,74,651,181,8,0.044327284644765576,0.0,0.04325703552560792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04590969848239005,0.04891626087325837,0.0,0.11065155542754296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464810229171841,0.03391025142413215,0.050077214388644944,0.0,0.12397867233729686,0.0,0.10943273499964308,0.118382043791794,0.0,0.0,0.16658777235495498,0.0681698914636717,0.0,0.0810645038654039,0.04895600327226144,0.07543850874782501,0.0,0.04651875045854676,0.039203881049717317,0.0,0.04923762036933063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069860471024101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580409428924047,0.09943363790924636,0.14156691937946356,0.0,0.0,0.028587431491110545,0.0,0.07635805062226024,0.0,0.04600472308557087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04535787851033842,0.037029758367770345,0.04986222893596006,0.039260817160124785,0.2290096723406717,0.0,0.058555506894579015,0.0,0.03734764913332511,0.04235662008212443,0.15935402079560596,0.0,0.2089390946788944,0.0,0.08965282800908979,0.031667421007230794,0.12768343411643618,0.048558373627784736,0.08102867021768909,0.11311429702270122,0.05360072854468094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852734134854869,0.08504554115440277,0.1259610869314789,0.03717962326625413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941708055137091,0.0,0.0909851649349182,0.04711783074010646,0.0,0.0,0.0891349335549842,0.0,0.08892776144914571,0.0,0.0436534463235685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626616857902968,0.043987990197703136,0.0,0.0490415728258233,0.0,0.09744446552848172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04816172446642221,0.13598295544407624,0.0,0.1082803610989959,0.04442758440956878,0.03914180445482972,0.07845650402463514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037685472246280056,0.0,0.12583064555934392,0.0,0.04494090918735647,0.0,0.09657081593386736,0.0,0.0,0.08934295406661526,0.0,0.044757921202796494,0.20766232013846334,0.03538161569648817,0.0,0.06517130915328702,0.03286811989510939,0.06837586921692043,0.0,0.04714257010178827,0.0,0.0,0.1275996753903917,0.0,0.093028057165609,0.0,0.15018657637218308,0.10113869230887276,0.0471673561679752,0.0,0.09844040763509683,0.0,0.042315408930234416,0.15365478923517042,0.0387048751687356,0.046312577872174035,0.048658047306201116,0.04190361183390085,0.0,0.0,0.04509678443021645,0.0,0.08483044974897215,0.0,0.044561164346161294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028397193608430564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042834482961192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04486157858128492,0.0,0.04035389512421366,0.13872907591816014,0.0,0.04550132068765509,0.03666798792367041,0.0,0.08871859455921469,0.0,0.03755836443203418,0.1023759280641846,0.043840817959406635,0.04962076603156902,0.18825048133708225,0.0,0.10619948033159296,0.11117878442232107,0.05077675479431745,0.0,0.0,0.048486854791946005,0.0,0.04177794118582593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748800116736744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177963130248621,0.08520940242917903,0.043551332101565136,0.1407636504088039,0.07754278844082943,0.10189538578432787,0.0,0.04235662008212443,0.04924924425265725,0.03009531655441259,0.0,0.08660263218312267,0.04614626660085674,0.05332026555304915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458152385530436,0.10555480585724723,0.0,0.0,0.07971110477703959,0.04109183696175892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042729920574712664,0.0,0.03227079115680145,0.0,0.045173290038889286,0.09446649359914024,0.1453947814359882,0.0,0.0856359539523427
mentalhealth,theBananaVaper,2019/04/06,"Am I bipolar? I am a 21 y.o. male. I am currently an undergrad student living in a dorm with a roommate. 

I have frequent episodes when even the slightest disturbance my roommate causes irritates me a lot. 

I go through occasional spells where I can't seem to go to sleep when I want and stay up late, sleep a lot, and can't seem to find motivation to do stuff on one day and the very next day, I feel like I'm on top of the world and feel like I have an endless supply of energy and enthusiasm. 

I am not exactly introverted but I don't like to start conversations with people. My friends do mention that I am not very sociable at times but am extremely sociable at other times. 

I don't have suicidal thoughts and I don't think the phases where I am not motivated particularly affect the quality of my work and I seem to be able to come out of such phases if I put my mind to it that I can come out of it. 

Is this just normal or do I need to consult a therapist?",3.5467408470926074,4.425656226130656,5.5485463029432855,80.59945979899497,72.16582914572865,9.50480976310122,29.792175161521893,9.784248007369934,2.7075582196697776,755,31,162,19,14,263,105,199,0.07200000000000001,0.8029999999999999,0.125,0.7996,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,7,5,0,1,13,0,21,3,2,4,1,40,36,13,1,4,8,0,2,3,1,0,1,0,1,1,7,13,0,0,10,0,0,5,8,1,0,1,1,2,24,4,25,34,2,29,0,0,0,0,5,12,0,7,14,114,31,7,0.143484278970234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739787906611576,0.0,0.24719800273306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507097955513171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477001302737556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509992533510255,0.2050103951316994,0.0,0.0,0.13114203154190832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085559800425958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309084467058085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185651641370882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102975131019307,0.0,0.1266992470845681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439704058682413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448782189898509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639177477373124,0.0,0.0,0.1525971584784984,0.0,0.14058412879382493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722866083255724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947393268238523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424133098886022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918680960455789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28717580320103464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155891116466252,0.15293515019147474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425517110793822,0.15694851275259294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659630693427713,0.0,0.09193893232287127,0.0,0.1139104901528766,0.16733367387509862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367791140795293,0.08463074528612392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445826397984516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gemrosepie,2019/04/06,"I think people are wrong to love me. I’m not sure if this relates to mental health so feel free to correct me if it doesn’t...

I have a problem with letting people love me. I have major self worth issues and self esteem issues... I’ve ruined relationships simply because I’d push them away and eventually they‘d give up... but then the fact that they gave up would be a confirmation that they didn’t love me...
So basically, when people say they love me, I think they just don’t know me and that’s why they’re saying that. I don’t believe them. They’re wrong. I think that somehow they think they do but don’t. When lovers say they think I’m beautiful, I think well they haven’t seen me naked so they don’t know what they’re saying... and then I never allow them to see me naked because I know that when they do they will realize their mistake and leave... so I avoid letting people in and eventually they give up. Somethings wrong. I genuinely believe these things about myself but I know that I shouldn’t. I know that it can’t be normal to have so much doubt in my own worth...

So you guys think this is a mental health issue? Or is it something else...? I really want to get help because I’m tired of pushing people away, eventually there will be no one left....",2.3939832249229696,4.368115279527558,3.350814789455665,90.70854673057173,77.30708661417323,5.9921944539541245,20.49229715850736,6.8959733430537185,0.2681231085244775,987,24,209,10,23,315,117,254,0.13,0.725,0.145,0.7901,0,1,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,17,0,16,16,0,2,4,0,26,8,0,1,4,43,53,23,0,8,8,0,1,0,1,4,3,4,0,3,16,7,0,1,14,0,3,2,12,8,1,1,3,7,43,9,16,40,3,16,0,1,2,5,35,8,0,5,6,137,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216137049140136,0.0,0.0,0.15782107965294964,0.0,0.0,0.19445868296909474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209168213244876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04363533185198831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0450876289143394,0.16557159403507232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544950830719718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18346345351487686,0.0,0.0,0.057844353478469474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27022098434123776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371381742717491,0.0,0.0,0.09137810597673646,0.09376403963267213,0.1764930051112216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31155261357881764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393804683722594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343964301592084,0.0,0.06655905474941562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455462811402527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847838820254282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29914405904715885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257642080346908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528530417995944,0.0,0.0,0.09265275403123124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27451349075002124,0.0,0.0,0.06876907381547208,0.0,0.18005720956085827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287426454361048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133571994188665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057333174244758964,0.3870780869022013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918792461147397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090134466868301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759310189037386,0.0,0.07787136111968546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130428362578489,0.2830629966012186,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GenericGoth625,2019/04/06,"How do you know when you're healthy enough to work? I'm getting to a point in my life where I really need a job, but I'm not sure if I'm capable of holding one down because of my mental health. I've struggled with social anxiety and depression for most of my life. The only job I've had outside of my family gave me panic attacks at least once a week. My mental state has gotten better over the past year but I'm still not sure if I'm up to working again. How do you know when you're ready and able to work?",3.429111969111972,3.4690121171171207,4.945637065637065,87.84810810810812,71.97297297297297,8.144658944658946,25.76705276705277,7.957251820313856,1.222980952380952,399,11,92,5,7,135,69,111,0.193,0.7070000000000001,0.1,-0.908,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,4,7,7,1,2,5,0,4,3,0,2,2,18,15,10,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,3,0,9,3,15,12,3,15,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,3,7,52,9,5,0.1626416309801708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442040253011034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18502833494814108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914482866047117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438433056700118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008299844210467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805228165095665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332405495362786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497353940137371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288044826638108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227934454649265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17876717388118635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22975718769150796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32780902061630524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059670854717347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17320802894526904,0.11021017835065734,0.1236962892730009,0.0,0.19082491085820147,0.0,0.0,0.15525984005471685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537489116972205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419239348287523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579266084073066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988581659352388,0.0,0.0,0.1700283459845123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065756248283417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304613059803452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35521513321812115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473587793589728
mentalhealth,RealiNveiN,2019/04/06,"Visiting GP about mental health Hi all. I’ve been asked to visit my GP about my mental health and I’m going to go in a couple days.

 What questions is he likely going to ask what outcomes can from it? Like will he just refer me to a counsellor etc?

Thank you in advanced ",0.4007142857142867,2.7602219285714327,2.4907142857142865,91.45428571428572,88.64285714285714,4.628571428571429,16.92857142857143,6.18269132825596,-0.19918571428571408,212,5,43,2,7,71,42,56,0.0,0.8690000000000001,0.131,0.7476,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,1,5,11,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,9,9,2,9,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,3,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087298909649416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418808305935525,0.0,0.14098129863366082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438009051867417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37271255275443743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647310108015011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21359744654226925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4406022168167028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448861681904595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012609120106571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,acidfinland,2019/04/06,Just asking what are the most possible consequences from mental abuse(agressive behavior yelling etc for no good reason even when from simple questions) and physical abuse in peak of anger (after always about days worth of angry behavior towards you from talking to spending time) as kid? Im turning 24 and having hard time feeling good or bad for others.. Forming relationships is impossible because i have to guess what someone is feeling from face and words. And spending time with same person more than 3 days in a row turns me mean and i start testing that persons mental state. ,9.003823529411765,9.840426833333336,7.698823529411764,70.14470588235295,60.07843137254902,9.937254901960783,38.568627450980394,9.725611199111238,4.038380392156864,475,22,70,8,6,144,79,102,0.159,0.748,0.093,-0.8625,0,0,0,0,3,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,1,0,2,0,5,1,1,1,0,17,13,8,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,6,0,0,5,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,4,2,18,13,5,12,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,4,8,48,8,1,0.0,0.1945393463283415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661996677601676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349631041184572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709252810660955,0.1000892376253846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21177907127123893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18311623518840198,0.1084465289563238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603968651843698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27543104346363817,0.0,0.0,0.18087476742730013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14708277978272066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735432772011026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885200456658532,0.0,0.0,0.33093158164174946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867302898286941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18510054917897972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18393136454683415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688155725186623,0.0,0.17627956040988016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391184013918198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621515127585601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197041140981006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28722307082550474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571850617593746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nickedge11,2019/04/06,"An immigrant family story Few years ago, I was suffering from extreme anxiety, sometimes I got mood swings. I  also developed some OCD habits in my senior years of high school. I am not exactly sure whats wrong with me. But I know the cause.  It was probably because my parents were putting too much pressure on me. They had too much expectations for me. I wanted to go to a  therapist. My parents are Asians and they did not finish their school. They dont believe in therapy. My dad and uncle  told me to be a Men and suck it up. My uncle has a Son who is 4 years older than me.  He  graduated from college with good grades. But he was having very hard to to keep any jobs. He had a car accident a year go. He is alive but got some bad brain damage. He cant function properly anymore. Me and Another one of my cousin recently found a his 1 year old suicide letter inside a book. We showed it to everyone. My cousin suffered a lot since he was a kid. Because my uncle is much worse than my dad and put too much pressure on him on every aspect of his life. No matter what he did it was not good enough for my Uncle. My dad and Uncle's family dont talk to each other because I found this letter.  My dad probably  feels  guilty for listening to my Uncle, all his life. But he is still too proud to admit any of his wrong decision. BTW I also have 2 younger sister. One of them is too young to understand anything. But the other one also showing same sign as mine.  But my Dad is too embarrassed to take her to a therapist. Sometimes he gets angry at me for no reason. But I am doing much better now, mentally. I still get anxiety attack sometimes.  I am in my junior year of college now. I'm  moving out soon. Once I do, One of the first thing I will do is go to a professional.",1.814450980392156,3.81360725555556,3.879411764705885,86.10794117647059,79.2222222222222,7.124183006535947,23.366013071895427,8.124751697461798,1.3977140522875822,1372,46,281,26,34,468,184,360,0.17600000000000002,0.775,0.049,-0.9935,4,0,0,0,0,1,39.0,1,0,5,3,14,17,2,3,15,0,32,3,1,2,3,42,52,17,1,2,10,11,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,11,11,0,1,8,3,0,7,8,11,0,5,15,3,48,5,40,35,13,36,0,3,0,0,41,10,1,3,19,196,59,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285613231884809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19718100992770488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178350961209377,0.086182974802769,0.12574965698360718,0.0,0.0815100104525146,0.0,0.0,0.0676350479626643,0.0,0.0,0.09350254933609432,0.0,0.0,0.0686248932573964,0.15030607451300732,0.0,0.0,0.09259954803353086,0.0,0.07269003306356726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175078912947013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443137206342896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265122713700444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849238402351502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924829322140512,0.07853569676752152,0.0,0.0,0.15496210368784555,0.0,0.04155753753026728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991044228601621,0.0,0.18023333542148715,0.0,0.0,0.08588136041289414,0.0,0.14013075229200697,0.13787349477403207,0.1314690823350028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736257489886038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868378379801724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156050820111266,0.07305390384929009,0.0,0.0,0.04516926150847285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610590768959053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987466929930389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282779805477783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735455082379072,0.3020941097094873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624417238986988,0.08752925478360839,0.22277523367348712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18252367607971368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17722860642374635,0.0,0.0,0.16524652268818554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845046101657011,0.08115232677583635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636055120266902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798809666741673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24386288461810954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131273461197159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990209600690424,0.0,0.0774627369742862,0.0,0.06179635987053465,0.06606089712701321,0.0,0.0,0.09399098462830467,0.1908569494253284,0.05460312639509251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07853569676752152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556228503812005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781503778874097,0.048477562828790004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837582366488854,0.0,0.17972287754621555,0.0,0.31756449400158565
mentalhealth,benjaminikuta,2019/04/06,"What is the biological basis of anhedonia / depression? What is the biological basis of anhedonia / depression?

""Anhedonia occurs in roughly 70% of people with a major depressive disorder.[2] Anhedonia is a core symptom of major depressive disorder; therefore, individuals experiencing this symptom can be diagnosed with depression, even in the absence of low/depressed mood.[12]""

Why does anhedonia occur in some cases, but not in others?

Is there any difference in the underlying biological cause?",10.442400000000003,13.818603040000005,12.25566666666667,29.45950000000002,58.6,15.66666666666667,48.5,13.5591,9.3002,408,27,40,20,6,146,46,75,0.16899999999999998,0.831,0.0,-0.8875,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,6,0,6,3,0,2,0,7,6,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,13,5,3,6,0,5,0,0,0,6,0,1,0,34,4,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962982256431372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560933487051388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8331109773562105,0.1636269870656928,0.0,0.16843243421637102,0.1847631452101328,0.0,0.14107788050251244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647913608101274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176423930153513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351224006919918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546893337341446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iFerdizz,2019/04/06,"ANGER to the point I listen to very loud Metal music and I have the urge to STAB my desk!!!  

Hello, as said in the post, I am having anger attacks to the point that Metal music duplicates it by x1,000,000 and releases it with my urge to stab my desk. I am quite aware of my reasons to do this, but I am unsure of how to seek help. I do not even use Reddit, I just came here and searched for ""mental"" in the communities search and clicked this one. I literally had an anger attack a few minutes ago and did exactly what I said, and I just came up to the conclusion that I might be either crazy or incredibly depressed to the point is not even crying anymore, it's anger and frustration, I don't FUCKING know!!! I just know that this is NOT me! My depression a year ago was just me crying myself to sleep, but now is Metal music and stabbing stuff, sometimes drinking beer, and a little bit of weed to drain it out.

Just so you know, I am 16 years old. I have been depressed for the past two years since I moved to the U.S and that depression is due to the fact that I feel incredibly lonely. I haven't been able to connect with any girl since I got there, and let me tell you, I've tried over 20 by now in TWO different schools I've assisted. The first year was the worst, it was like the stages of Grief, it might be that now again, but at the beginning the first two girls I tried were like Cheeseburger, same shit, but I took as a ""Hey, maybe a good one may appear sometime soon."" It was basically the shock stage, then, after the 5th girl, it became denial, then I apparently skipped the anger stage, never had that until now so I went straight to bargaining where I would cry myself to sleep and beg to Gods I don't believe in to make it stop. Then depression, blah blah blah. Two years later, 20 girls in, it doesn't even feel like depression anymore, it feels like fucking PURE FUCKING ANGER!!!!!!!!!! All the time. My daily routine is, school - pretend to be someone I'm not to hide my weird ""depression"", and then get home and let it all out with metal and stabbing. I feel like I'm going crazy, I need help, PLEASE!

\- Ferdi",6.028518670076728,5.342649185882358,6.165227621483378,83.77274168797958,66.5529411764706,9.367774936061382,29.537084398976983,8.587818076936951,1.8889887468030688,1644,47,353,21,23,524,196,425,0.188,0.693,0.119,-0.9874,2,2,2,0,0,0,74.0,0,2,0,4,20,31,13,0,25,0,37,8,3,4,6,63,64,30,1,2,15,0,4,8,0,4,0,4,1,4,24,22,2,1,9,3,1,7,9,25,0,8,17,9,41,6,45,38,7,56,0,9,1,3,14,16,4,5,34,235,65,4,0.07203912381559935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771667334104245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898907452142383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288690667011453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639098064916531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116342338877545,0.0,0.0,0.07864806523714707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16478713240696838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373947844443509,0.0,0.0,0.4343303424768947,0.0,0.0,0.07526555164138854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057091575841602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274348558913633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570058213859285,0.15439429334388516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225528838326907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19979702743363675,0.0376374688884643,0.0,0.040941494206664916,0.06042299918344535,0.057616268214536887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657261234807714,0.0,0.07226111489817573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187724553896198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732976980283286,0.0,0.17597338529802078,0.07220212742011152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04808667453987664,0.0,0.07237298258912192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259849302337454,0.1528442522400267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765661878919787,0.0,0.053416097504843496,0.055561013357702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559294215948928,0.0,0.09763114936925668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687694950787572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907732500665676,0.20430077132502608,0.0,0.06899356716225041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662247564891576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406821738156483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705140708399288,0.0,0.0,0.14581487857330566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739471253666865,0.11918301530405705,0.0,0.14418229921854545,0.0,0.0610385158331645,0.0,0.14249707097850808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06022793320827509,0.0,0.0,0.08246756155949286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296536946774682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042006592420163635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003811722225182,0.09781967259702204,0.0,0.2814870250949827,0.0,0.0,0.062218673160529626,0.0,0.05943982169524546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667809895061581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051174526655165455,0.0,0.0,0.23195416920897385
mentalhealth,MrHappyTime604,2019/04/06,"Bell Lets Talk How do you guys feel about it? I'm asking because I stumbled upon a thread where people on the depression forum ripped on people do the ""for those who need it"" posts on instagram. 

Here is a link: https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/b4th27/anyone_else_despise_all_of_those_for_anyone_who/

Found it interesting that so many people say you shouldn't comment on mental illness if you don't know your stuff/not a psychologist/haven't been in those shoes, yet you have an entire forum of people who are saying it upsets them. Wondering if its the same with Bell Lets Talk. Personally I've gone through some shit and I think Bell Lets Talk is BS. I wanna get the fuck away from any sort of mental illness, not go towards it, not be some mentally ill icon, not speak on mentally ill people's behalves. Especially when ""talking about it"" does absolutely nothing. 

",6.233176733780758,9.554389409395975,4.914872483221477,77.51776733780761,71.01342281879195,6.926353467561523,24.69843400447427,8.021203637495839,1.6275311856823271,718,22,114,11,15,210,100,149,0.158,0.825,0.018000000000000002,-0.9666,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,5,1,0,8,5,2,1,8,0,13,7,2,1,0,21,25,6,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,2,12,2,0,0,6,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,3,4,9,1,18,17,3,15,0,1,0,1,19,10,2,6,2,75,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310407592653803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11424584574809238,0.0,0.11481629078456028,0.0,0.0,0.07449546879734903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052556021375579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694304358613686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061790880716123875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339922573851626,0.0,0.11297721311636764,0.06384744155192794,0.0,0.0694523233258604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100286971510373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716106429243235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3748908658372264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12389741274368048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4926184652643981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061398824345157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172596781987278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4236102737162486,0.10670531550622472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703929294248926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943657770203072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544240896681738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398963047223811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928972943983912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830448688667906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252688355781247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,intpb,2019/04/06,"Looking for unprofessional diagnoses from this community. What tf is wrong with me? Here is what I am like:


If you talked to me for less than a minute you’d probably think I’m really cool, socially competent, smart, and interesting. After a minute though I run out of gas. 
 if you talked to me for longer you’d realize I’m actually not good at socializing, am not good with eye contact, and am boring. Conversation and small talk is my KRYPTONITE. It gets to the point where if I’m hanging with some people for a while and have to talk my lips will quiver and my face will become visibly nervous (this does nothing good for the hangout). 

The sad thing is conversation is SO important in forming relationships and friendships. While I am happy with alone time I truly want to socialize and form relationships and go out and do fun stuff with ppl. My shitty conversation skills kill this possibility and I spend so much time alone. SO MUCH. 

Here’s an important part: I want to feel, but I can’t. I want to burst out laughing and get lost in conversation and find things other ppl say as interesting so I seem attentive and full of life. But.... I don’t feel those things. I have to fake laughter most of the time, fake interest, fake smiles, fake having a good time. Why is my brain so flatlined?? I know this is some sort of imbalance, like my reward system in the brain is not firing or something because I truly get nothing out of most things. I have to fake everything which makes everything so much harder and less genuine and fun. 

What do you guys think my problem is and what should I do about it. These symptoms have prevented me from making new friends or going on a single date for the past 3 years. I’m 21.",4.548328267477203,6.167330057750764,5.215956231003041,81.10617142857143,70.61094224924011,8.789835866261399,27.44571428571429,9.281916038205594,2.2499416656534947,1355,47,265,29,25,437,165,329,0.141,0.672,0.18600000000000005,0.944,0,2,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,5,0,4,11,29,1,1,12,1,28,8,5,2,0,57,50,33,1,8,10,0,3,2,1,3,3,1,0,1,19,25,0,1,9,1,1,4,5,12,0,0,1,7,31,17,40,44,14,29,0,2,2,0,22,13,0,11,13,180,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.09339134873627956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19823682364031245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833905212286676,0.10569534224386627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136701694864009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713551748127852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374946684236008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202157692753306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677961543196767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874698960063658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393912931764683,0.0,0.15000103821383684,0.0,0.10877930633831387,0.3210811947838338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476002819083,0.0,0.10187656066126502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588008574098302,0.0,0.052595317455373145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759715423101154,0.09351032812870493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036557848393959,0.0,0.1044700402765815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776365889724914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21105594916917209,0.0,0.0,0.09242958985292772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836573039618109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103635942034078,0.09135838978106353,0.06634771815542563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046932547591696,0.10788962772342096,0.0,0.0,0.1031829446146891,0.09157389104105003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130915304740631,0.0,0.0,0.20549626926801204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610607315818857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712350827142645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29266841689240125,0.0,0.07367607668801422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955589574443853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947102368179624,0.0,0.30768657620229306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25432063052587656,0.12264395716102584,0.0940267310231874,0.0,0.22321842783929502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934256093370506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863561712775611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463511559474184,0.0,0.06162895155088046
mentalhealth,anonanonymous1990,2019/04/06,"Should i seek help?  Hey non-native speaker here and long post incoming. 

So basically i’m from central europe and while we do have statutory health insurance in my country mental health issues are rarely included. That said i would like to know if its worth to tackle my issues with professional help and the substantial financial commitment it would take..

Also i am not sure with the timeline but this is what i reconstructed.

I am 29 and around the time i was born the brother of my father accused my grandfather of sexual abuse. For me it’s not clear if he did that for financial benefits or not but anyway at that time my grandfather payed him of to keep the subject silent. 

Around 2000 my uncle wanted more money but this time my grandfather refused to pay him. My uncle then wrote a letter to my parents stating the abuse he had to suffer happened to me too. Before that letter i had a normal relationship to my grandfather. We visited him and from time to time he babysitted me.  

When my mother got the letter she started to freak out. She started drinking and she and my father had some huge fights about this letters they got. I was about 10 and the parental fights were loud enough for me to understand that this is about me and the things that might or might have not happened to me. (My dad never believed in any of it) 

Something like 2 years later i confronted my mother about this. She was drunk and told me she’s not sure what happened but there was this one day where she picked me up and i was crying and not willing to talk about why i was crying and she had suspicions. (I don’t know how old i was and can’t remember this at all)

When i was 14 my uncle official charged my grandfather. At that point the things that might have happened to him were time barred but i was included in his accusations so i got questioned by the police. 

After the first letter my parents got by my uncle  i never met my grandfather again which is exactly what i stated to the police. I also stated that i couldn’t remember any wrongdoing (which is the truth). 

But all of this threw me off big time. When i went to bed i always tried to remember the few meetings i had with my grandfather and if anything happened to me. I gained back a lot of now feeling kind of unsettling memories like bathing with my father when i was about 4 years old but i never could remember anything sexual happening to me. I also remembered encounters with my grandfather but again nothing sexual... 

Also 2003 the sexual abuse scandal in the catholic church started to hit the news and watching news about this always “triggered” me. I tried to ignore this hole clusterfuck but it always came back up again….

When i was 19 i confronted my mother. I wanted to know the exact charges and she told me my grandfather was accused by my uncle to masturabate in front of him when he was like 5. Tbh i was just relieved because i always imagined way worse things.

I decided for me that i would probably remember if anything happened to me and if not at least i wasn’t in a catholic school….

The thing is when is was 20 i met my grandfather one more time. I hadn’t seen him for 10 years and he looked really old. But when we shook hands i just freezed. I almost couldn’t talk or move anymore. When i meet girls at one point this feeling comes always back to me so i just stopped trying. In my mid twenties i fell into a hole. I tanked my academic career and floated for some years reading, playing games, watching netflix. But i also forgot about my past. When i went to sleep all this questions about what happened to me didn’t come up anymore.

2 years ago i got my shit together. I finished university and got a fine job, but also the thoughts came back. I have again problems to go to sleep and i still never had a relationship.    

I think i am a bit damaged by all of this but it could be worse... 

I’d really like to overcome my intimacy issues and to stop being afraid to go to sleep. Is that something that i could work on with professional help in a reasonable timeframe or should i just try to push myself into uncomfortable situations until it’s not that uncomfortable anymore?  ",4.286014527174128,6.032251367830424,4.985485096781858,81.99294125796621,71.48129675810475,8.234208130467483,28.191505363575192,8.841846274778883,2.2590561057673284,3295,124,618,63,63,1061,298,802,0.14,0.8029999999999999,0.057,-0.9973,5,0,3,0,5,0,60.0,3,0,1,3,50,25,5,2,30,0,61,10,5,4,15,144,110,68,0,19,34,11,4,5,0,9,2,3,2,1,43,41,3,6,20,8,4,15,19,12,0,4,47,11,122,13,95,46,13,105,1,2,4,0,64,29,1,19,61,464,165,9,0.0,0.17119159817183902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04269253616733885,0.0,0.048227092954085365,0.0,0.0,0.2310898789139577,0.20037240876965076,0.0,0.0,0.06550336087209188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432907138419656,0.0,0.0,0.11889919102576638,0.08574843861157917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813382754933976,0.0,0.029358990648557074,0.0,0.04098215064411874,0.05426186413793496,0.0,0.0,0.05258021966579232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016855397431906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297426473320395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535985226643795,0.0,0.10580696741413513,0.031060381318338142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047180235666382714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049764021302164285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04870411364336144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040966408602481685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474292984426616,0.0,0.23111638130515705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407146164147689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238749781600393,0.0,0.0,0.09684553248036457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080524166538384,0.04779316215914098,0.04280842714243637,0.0,0.05015311086222832,0.07940540909431107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764713126004267,0.0,0.0,0.04262168381001045,0.04044378818851333,0.0,0.0,0.04094544620054762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853577388158765,0.1532761994818634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05118837909354024,0.0,0.0,0.1485814191814169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04718834533797639,0.04621255294136453,0.0,0.1516131449112426,0.0,0.09790706099216268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043396199635146,0.0,0.04597589459630862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105695015526738,0.0,0.04612569814628178,0.0,0.05192657398089345,0.04608434509809891,0.0,0.0,0.10790449282705476,0.0,0.048174840470938125,0.0,0.06170737389420945,0.049518359141235084,0.0,0.10341551376334676,0.32734763385937066,0.0,0.04581290759189993,0.0,0.0,0.04874232012451322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04943740298900328,0.0,0.054135889195575784,0.14458976724927866,0.0,0.0,0.07415462431409459,0.0,0.0,0.10226752507493858,0.0,0.038462081444595085,0.08053085472754973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078386663246517,0.0,0.03621168520498262,0.07742127258414022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279862586320239,0.03086014136644885,0.0,0.03823509519225477,0.2246682966914629,0.0,0.0,0.09204134142067733,0.0,0.13079482266419395,0.0,0.0,0.05013813981455461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681416343417778,0.03822860080928392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929295557735549,0.04345853990982745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035062369247352385,0.0,0.09816199223411104,0.10263829801946507,0.0,0.0,0.15507312395580322
mentalhealth,bagelsorbeagles,2019/04/06,"How to find a local therapist Hello! 

I live in Southern California (OC area) and I was wondering what are the best resources to finding a local mental health provider? I have cal optima, and tbh they haven't really been able to help me with this, and Im really lost! my mental health has been going downhill lately, and I know its time for me to get some help! 

so if anyone has tips/recommendations that would be very much appreciated! ty  ",2.6934523809523796,5.318514773809521,4.485714285714288,79.5259523809524,79.83333333333334,7.542857142857144,21.238095238095237,8.515128840125781,1.581009523809524,347,10,64,8,9,117,64,84,0.029,0.777,0.194,0.9394,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,1,0,13,15,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,0,8,1,7,9,3,7,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,3,2,42,12,0,0.1894877758349774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249425867405315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988557302720607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34637678850533565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989995420542432,0.0,0.10769026975452538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40283328972942173,0.0,0.0,0.2540193238225931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20467931416736296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413752606545304,0.0,0.21375046464842115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673211776392697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20684829123034432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38191822008228055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929531798163414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24278144262338225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200099125134553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049184590970312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634725982912054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054914098856835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346066792832826,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,omglol9312,2019/04/06,Making myself think I’m crazy I think myself into oblivion. I’ve actually been well for a little bit ( after 5 months of DP/DR and finally being put on meds) but for the past week or so and on and off I will make myself feel think I have other mental issues than what I really have.  Like literally thinking I’m crazy. I think I might have OCD or I’m a hypochondriac. It’s like I almost my myself have symptoms. Just saying that makes me feel ridiculous. Please tell me I’m not the only one?,2.181705170517052,4.034215465346538,4.20844884488449,84.8781078107811,77.51485148514851,6.469086908690867,19.143014301430146,7.3871296695380915,0.4936327832783278,386,8,77,5,9,132,67,101,0.083,0.7979999999999999,0.118,0.5216,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,4,0,8,1,0,3,0,21,22,7,0,0,5,0,2,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,3,14,3,9,18,1,11,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,4,7,50,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.16446205058602575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875956047867108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18399232085415204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042878408163847,0.0,0.0,0.184617591171272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17590269108389256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467157315016615,0.16891244501153888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33748746993605416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872000684633736,0.0,0.16983971800968853,0.17878487292766404,0.0,0.0,0.13451992259262394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420104045753085,0.12817550200097433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608820123591855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849965477350455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942031222948892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796534332469702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340227014923011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516835070874515,0.0,0.0,0.1473036167752796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5399396453638404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518548926579116,0.0,0.1515297059405373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lmao_3,2019/04/06,"Anxiety Hey guys this my first post here. I'll try and keep this short. So basically for like the past year or two I've had like a lot of anxiety. So back story real quick. 

About two years ago I was in a toxic relationship which left me with relationship anxiety and that somehow inevitably led to social anxiety. 

I'm usually fine when I'm alone or with close friends band family at home but whenever I'm in college (I'm 19 and I'm a second year engineering student that stays in the college dorm) in the dorms my anxiety starts to peak like crazy. All I can think about is how everyone sees me or might see me and it's all in a negative tone and that gives me a lot of anxiety because I feel like if they see me that way they won't like me. 

This anxiety gives me a real hard time in college cause I can't focus on my academics and my interests because I just somehow find my way back to my anxiety when I'm trying to do the things I like. 

I really hate this state of being. And sometimes when I'm not anxious I'm seeking approval and that leads me to being anxious. 

I just wanted to know if this is a serious problem and if not suggest some exercises or techniques to help cope with this. 

TLDR: I've social and relationship anxiety in college and it makes life real hard. Is this a major problem? If not how can I treat it at home??",3.5142727272727288,4.604640381818187,5.30559090909091,81.51438636363638,72.45454545454545,8.845454545454547,29.022727272727273,9.255337874911486,2.442909090909092,1055,42,217,23,20,362,132,275,0.156,0.721,0.123,-0.6957,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,3,17,14,1,0,12,0,13,2,0,6,2,54,34,27,0,7,14,0,3,6,1,2,2,0,4,1,17,15,0,1,4,2,0,2,6,4,0,4,2,6,25,10,26,28,6,35,0,0,3,0,15,13,0,14,21,141,42,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280816743691831,0.0,0.0,0.08506761010277686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5655009132694545,0.1855794783875759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631426342311153,0.0,0.10013808027429276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437578661491149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848399274065608,0.0,0.0,0.07743004214322627,0.0,0.04153017809850101,0.058677619593535436,0.0,0.0,0.07507036152577687,0.06986441670102864,0.0,0.0,0.06345768569763655,0.0,0.0,0.15758371705877006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132706107208251,0.0,0.0,0.1471545548580814,0.08109180442413387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055053696167639436,0.0,0.1647772124047035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300580876434508,0.0,0.0,0.04513952429588479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892404640897063,0.0,0.05801473464500774,0.24076354698666905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396573345309706,0.0,0.0,0.05482608589459458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713278867784524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784076312240974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866310730793416,0.0,0.0,0.15718516702645718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28046455172197843,0.052618106277078684,0.0,0.0,0.2645483748778897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635408477559552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745360302162612,0.0,0.0,0.081234112443325,0.0,0.05813593161288716,0.08754551748120593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456717839144231,0.052629113691641125,0.0,0.0,0.0478938721840137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115292297357356,0.0,0.16046890291065458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046065228965824,0.0,0.04844564759388362,0.13039067801883408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867771260557392
mentalhealth,throwaway200000008,2019/04/06,I’m very suicidal right now and I don’t know what to do Right now I’m in the bathroom of my cousins house taking a break from monopoly. For the last six months my social anxiety is back and I freeze when someone talks to me I haven’t found happiness in anything but my best friend who everyday for a minute now claims she’s cutting everyone off probably including me. She’s also talking about killing her self in a concerning way I had her tell her mom but I don’t know where that went. I’m tired I just want death please help me and tell me what to do ,1.3500574712643676,3.5427027413793084,2.624827586206898,93.46126436781613,81.93103448275863,6.9701149425287365,23.459770114942533,8.07648339933343,1.240749425287357,442,16,99,9,12,142,75,116,0.165,0.6679999999999999,0.16699999999999998,-0.2135,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,9,5,2,0,5,0,7,1,0,0,0,10,16,7,3,1,3,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,3,1,18,3,12,13,1,18,0,0,0,0,16,7,0,0,8,61,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776312467497814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13178499551670844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176236669486925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246390786889295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078525116035346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16461001476542567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888361105890272,0.13309428094700645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833831113741425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546800083161304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19877481713031206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905896648818155,0.0,0.1893486175047973,0.14042188863630595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20175888395921152,0.13750314049919865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18909917434396054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857346704812929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29423285957036044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17971370387128424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17560612746218435,0.14596261249682552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18843387096884165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952453635001082,0.2769259253835761,0.3011406715543561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979973959910648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213962352389842,0.10160847438153832,0.13673878382359375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596947035882175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrapeJuicex,2019/04/06,"For those with mental illness...How do you deal with your family? I've always had some bad anxiety and pretty serious OCD, but last week I had a drinking induced panic attack that (apparently) resulted in me blacking out, having to be strapped to into a hospital bed, tranquilized, and apparently I was howling and screaming like an animal for hours on end. I have no memory of any of it. 

​

This has mentally took a toll on my wife and family. Even though I am getting help, they are NON-STOP commenting about the situation. Every conversation turns into a conversation about this and now they're treating me like a helpless baby. I understand they care about me, but it's overwhelming to go from being a 35 year old man, to being a baby all over again. I'm just trying to find some joy in life but they keep bringing up my issues constantly.

​

For those with mental illness...How do you regain a sense of normalcy and balance in your relationships? 

​

Thanks",6.0109307267318295,7.640124712707182,6.855469613259668,70.71081172970678,67.06629834254144,10.210114747131323,32.15512112197195,10.389873798559362,3.7501760305992367,787,33,128,21,13,261,120,181,0.127,0.741,0.132,0.6136,2,1,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,4,3,0,8,14,1,2,10,0,13,2,0,2,1,24,23,10,0,0,4,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,7,12,1,1,3,1,0,3,1,7,0,0,4,2,17,7,28,16,3,22,0,2,1,0,15,10,0,2,11,93,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930069632023464,0.3633292206953184,0.4074618751689377,0.07601182108441354,0.0,0.08550868067422175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716185197146146,0.0,0.0,0.0933286694311098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396354344331118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207906364862842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523661505626118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094983702957292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099000760435678,0.0,0.0,0.07382729308227018,0.0,0.09417648261380013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107457842620912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216165313021593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583985833406387,0.0,0.06352513418486025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492140036495545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007729064948474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166655765999001,0.0,0.09935204733112832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111272787918152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895101444542384,0.10921665787372348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.337933123860761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729058470289548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114558412806887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371683716073427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000607945723535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564141653174168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934501198080269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290874037237906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981979764855206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418775218075505,0.07588887445433459,0.1215806835539129,0.0,0.116363229683165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966032842335138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074618751689377,0.07198037106002411
mentalhealth,togafuka,2019/04/06,"Showering... Before I could take a shower every night before school but now I’m pushing two weeks on no showering.

I’m sitting on my couch switching between going through my phone and doing the dishes. Usually I only have the energy to do like one big thing a day (go to work or clean or cook, something along those lines). As I’m avoiding the dishes I ask myself why I’m not showering (I mean like my mom will be super mad at me if I don’t do the dishes, but only disappointed with my hygiene issue). Sometimes I think it’s becauss I have something better to do (consume internet things or do writing instead) and other time I don’t want to undress? Like right now I really don’t want to undress, but I don’t have too much of a body issue.. idk like stripping off my clothes to shower sometimes just feels unnatural, unnessicary or maybe vulnerable? Maybe I’m just lazy

Thanks for taking the time to read this even if you have no input or perhaps looking for a similar question to be answered. I love you and have a good day",3.730548029556651,5.357632852216749,5.168962438423648,80.60152247536948,72.69458128078819,7.4395320197044335,28.943657635467982,8.07648339933343,2.082359852216749,811,33,150,12,16,272,117,203,0.108,0.693,0.199,0.9713,5,1,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,3,8,12,1,1,10,0,18,6,1,0,0,28,36,14,0,5,13,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,7,0,6,5,4,1,5,2,0,3,7,3,0,2,0,2,20,9,20,32,1,19,0,1,1,1,8,6,0,8,13,100,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621274596208226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297609808171479,0.0,0.0,0.11940217683692675,0.0,0.14996165932940647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779161328803916,0.0,0.0,0.174135899753717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917044437686893,0.0,0.11374870259925285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826328501951406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345448025710093,0.11323695086049655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2818231814974961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638292021652141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337136163066805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184853395549615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712641207428616,0.14706153233654246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581178470576326,0.0,0.0,0.09924522740932698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669434725053005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148382083795407,0.2053568796552712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151238049473124,0.0,0.13504292019019284,0.0,0.08648854761614784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529471559299848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663366981838376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20786902281540656,0.2670495348165194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301600035557435,0.0,0.0,0.12429574112981552,0.0,0.0,0.17938448722328704,0.0865066405382591,0.0,0.0,0.15744661820766467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188162148230856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869046011923998,0.0,0.1592605281784514,0.0,0.1082939790244902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182226405431527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828625659498888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fenris-wolf666,2019/04/06,"I'm contemplating going off my meds I've tried three different combinations by now and none of them have worked. It makes me want to give up. At least before I started taking meds things were more entertaining. Sure the lows were abysmal but the highs were great. Now I'm just stuck in a grey cloud of mediocrity, always drowsy because of my meds. I'm about to say fuck this all. I feel like not going back to my psychiatrist or just lying about taking them.",3.501713483146067,5.719726629213487,3.7307724719101145,88.1296418539326,74.84269662921349,6.6971910112359545,21.2373595505618,7.6454224807358475,0.6648752808988765,366,9,74,5,8,113,65,89,0.146,0.703,0.151,-0.119,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,2,7,6,1,0,3,0,4,1,0,1,2,11,18,3,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,2,0,1,4,3,8,4,13,14,4,12,0,1,1,1,4,6,1,1,5,45,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587078225690962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666438710012802,0.0,0.11627103520064833,0.0,0.1623024829831741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992787637712196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644196865674554,0.1362620005209281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17633257076156264,0.0,0.18297157148410956,0.216799589573837,0.0,0.0,0.2102873664670222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20152329869410024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318408731237501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731791433394735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.635594857966145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516811053515627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500408500880315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976663910605353,0.0,0.2868198144509618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671667565770608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294973796280567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250117001000054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885824678980918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,matanrrrr,2019/04/06,"Attitude towards myself I’m 20 diagnosed with bpd and ocd
My life and Is pure suffering from very young age.
I will not elaborate on that anymore but just know I have experience suffering a lot from a lot sorts been hospitalized a lot.

Should I treat my self in the inner dialogue and self goals gently and lenient as possible.
set my goals of life really low and just take what I can and no strive even in my thinking?
Lately I came to realize that I have suffered for so long maybe I should treat my self and set my goals not like other human beings but rather like un capable man.",3.364782608695652,5.4014387391304375,4.5941304347826115,82.60771739130438,74.65217391304348,8.773913043478261,25.41304347826087,9.3871,2.2838869565217395,465,16,91,12,10,153,76,115,0.166,0.703,0.131,-0.5528,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,3,5,8,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,0,1,26,14,11,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,5,4,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,14,4,11,8,3,13,0,4,0,0,5,6,0,4,6,62,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17461720807533862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217579122321668,0.0,0.0,0.20138072590568812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871049543925305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11629462538072473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17223328263763665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676517389271247,0.0,0.198618131838012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487312825658438,0.1720408507813719,0.0,0.0,0.15581915737921753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4490731727487692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688909997854646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19849597061059845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279693978234788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.551047946433546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238506252060922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282053627346865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452787516337292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,roamerknight,2019/04/07,"How Do I Deal With This? So I've been pretty lonely cause I moved back to usa about a year ago after a long time and I graduated high school right before that. I'll hopefully start college this fall but until then I don't really have a way to meet people my age. I'm 18 btw. My sister said I can meet new people or atleast distract myself until college if I get a job, I did but it doesn't help. However, that's not the problem. Sometimes I get these anxiety-like attacks out of the blue about things I know I shouldn't worry about but I can't convince myself otherwise. Like if I'll ever be accepted by people, or will my entire youth be wasted, or will people just be repelled by me because of something I can't control or something they don't understand, etc. These thoughts last for a couple hours but don't go away easily. I've tried taking a shower or playing games or watching something or taking a nap, but they don't go away. I've tried to completely bring my life around to get rid of it, I've fixed my sleep cycle, started eating more and healthier, started going to the gym and practicing playing guitar but it still doesn't go away. It happens less frequently nowadays though. It makes me significantly less productive and just very tired overall, I don't feel like eating or talking to my family or doing anything when this happens. My mind just gets bogged down. I try to tank through it and get work done regardless but I feel like it's unhealthy for me to do that. Is there anyone out there like me who feels this way from time to time? If so, how do you deal with it? I feel like having real friends would definitely help but idk how much longer I can do this. 


P.S. I'm not diagnosed with any mental illnesses and the last thing I'd do is self diagnose",3.3230153041456814,5.027620823033708,4.378485083301047,85.53567415730339,73.91573033707866,7.269895389383961,25.478109259976755,7.990435384864732,1.4685634637737317,1407,47,279,21,29,458,185,356,0.136,0.7859999999999999,0.078,-0.9684,3,2,3,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,2,2,19,15,1,1,11,0,31,8,1,6,1,59,60,36,0,8,25,1,4,5,1,4,5,1,1,1,21,12,2,1,8,6,0,7,12,4,0,0,5,7,33,11,34,48,5,42,0,1,2,0,16,9,0,13,29,179,54,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774822270013376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05964473355165485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132776689663402,0.0,0.0721765567834715,0.07807908945992896,0.0,0.09978099025347556,0.2472148445747012,0.06744236140356226,0.0,0.05346623902239448,0.0,0.07463340576723541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010070819209684,0.0,0.0,0.0919606101127598,0.0,0.09837245152605302,0.0,0.09704769898020987,0.0,0.0,0.1808470604274129,0.0,0.1780444010053555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975616582712974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949522109028454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978180734686806,0.0,0.0793372876932227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268369294486261,0.0,0.1773920508781393,0.1879767392699956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776330806471077,0.0,0.2291201482515685,0.0,0.19938686631814134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551205330738336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757821081860488,0.09266876172527687,0.0,0.0871142517121108,0.08637512662123112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870370736591477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482022541025391,0.14298813789721335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06195105120558355,0.21424951952691207,0.0,0.0,0.0776191920697021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05854605171326122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838945856666894,0.0,0.08856050178808893,0.0,0.0,0.0932201704256707,0.06447578088636921,0.0,0.0,0.08470933901035206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24322390086266155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923099533764116,0.0,0.08392511308376899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998313842819267,0.05618826003873906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490251182830995,0.08343079286820701,0.0,0.0,0.08876560401818086,0.0,0.0,0.09149901101857937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777176241606997,0.0,0.0,0.2025666813100115,0.08674587051738962,0.0,0.18624141426858348,0.0,0.07004405786397812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189163345221894,0.07049670601678264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653915452195734,0.0,0.08617307776602752,0.06963068870671721,0.153430455879582,0.10080792687024036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178644780448179,0.0,0.0,0.09130755888554226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723686324349805,0.0,0.1392377233146693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385277468530855,0.08907215842868965,0.0,0.06230554540573285,0.0,0.0,0.056481347132265075
mentalhealth,TheCandyMan25,2019/04/07,"I have an issue with resenting people, what's wrong with me? My friends, my girlfriend, it doesn't matter if they do nothing wrong, I can resent them so easily. I hate feeling this way and wish I could have a healthier way of dealing with this. I sometimes feel like a sociopath where I don't acknowledge other people's feelings and boundaries.

For example, this weekend I was alone the whole time. My girlfriend had something going on all weekend, and all of my friends were either out of town or just wanted to be alone. I felt some serious resentment towards everyone.

Then I start feeling like why am I always the one who's available and willing yet everyone else is busy or has something better to do. So I start thinking I have a legitimate reason to be upset when I really don't. They're just living their lives and while I'm a part of it I don't control it.

This is pretty rambly but I'm hoping you guys can help me out. Thanks.",4.211809006211176,5.754995320652177,5.1194099378882,81.76782608695653,71.33695652173913,7.648447204968945,29.447204968944106,8.192908349453996,2.1592248447204967,745,30,137,11,14,243,112,184,0.095,0.735,0.17,0.9238,0,2,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,3,2,7,15,4,1,7,0,22,0,0,2,2,34,38,14,0,5,7,0,5,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,10,10,0,1,8,2,0,1,4,8,0,1,4,5,24,7,15,30,6,18,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,5,11,103,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759324336100811,0.0,0.0,0.11084205872670616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178141292864082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940724181365606,0.10635798609644867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733448780328195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128053200274693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25457726025452593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694215365198181,0.1903316474193776,0.12790326035704966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20583667067474026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570676873538143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131899637552195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151808845664034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928839275261867,0.0,0.0,0.13230838379096416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903746824565633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301601384364781,0.0,0.23525515775830916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781935742775752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026708709454664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144254317486558,0.0,0.1847031948849228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552327598701125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533825094796134,0.13696289089114974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051043672517016,0.13174888956889794,0.0,0.18857458286123352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264260923163685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535610323442089,0.0,0.0,0.07767629001671975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857118251145223,0.21147306867053345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202020293722098,0.14872510342622247,0.15318584837842866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29129020085103857,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Im-so-gay,2019/04/07,Do I have a dissociation problem? I feel like when I am thinking someone else is doing it for me and just putting into my brain if that make sense? Like I am not responsible for my thinking but only my actions. I’m just confused. ,2.8528260869565223,4.762324500000002,4.799347826086958,81.1364130434783,75.73913043478261,6.339130434782609,31.06521739130435,7.1686216300943375,1.9386695652173909,181,9,35,2,4,62,35,46,0.147,0.775,0.078,-0.4838,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,6,1,1,1,0,13,11,4,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,1,8,2,3,11,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,27,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726247871573856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27884227314083176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687764075265817,0.23846268642815485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261500302052564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22281026086828792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538655764894507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31939602744141243,0.0,0.3355554264404987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828227937559392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4277637682706604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UncivilCargo,2019/04/07,I don’t know if I have a problem or if I’m just a teen Lately I’ve felt so alone and cut off even when I’m with family or friends. I’m always and constantly sad. I have no motivation to do anything and I have no idea why. I’ve been like this for months but I feel like there’s no end to it. I don’t want to bring this to a professional or my parents because i fear they won’t take me seriously or think I’m exaggerating. Any and all advice is welcome even if it’s just bashing me for not having any real problems. ,-0.4604882943143807,1.5107191652173952,2.6356521739130443,91.92224080267559,87.78260869565219,5.625418060200667,20.150501672240807,7.010146845296331,0.3216421404682275,404,13,97,6,13,144,69,115,0.217,0.6609999999999999,0.122,-0.8458,1,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,7,10,1,1,3,0,10,0,0,1,1,27,21,14,0,6,11,1,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,6,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,2,2,11,4,8,18,1,7,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,7,7,60,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973595314971475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010965549505063,0.0,0.0,0.16156097245936776,0.0,0.0,0.26407794233831106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597813877727901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183612830911079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20982356613722586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197270590812627,0.0,0.0,0.2564885220145196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304163836109744,0.2184897930149138,0.09817574200097226,0.13871163347248094,0.18642900863974876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500115256971368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191888386847348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670809744202273,0.0,0.21902676462320975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18971858501015626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549807831536017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559743907852946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715796827976085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210024672096549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598804076950386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441319840419585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452364562382672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17520386196403873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Acuphagia,2019/04/07,"Hallucination advice? General advice for telling if something is a hallucination or not?

So far I have had:
- Visual hallucinations
- Auditory hallucinations
- Feeling that there are bugs on my skin
- Feeling that there are bugs underneath my skin
- A horrible smell that has no identifiable cause ( I am obsessive about my hygiene because of this)

Running out of options.",7.19632768361582,10.788892050847457,8.045000000000002,54.89823446327685,69.16949152542372,10.712994350282486,40.34180790960453,10.504223727775694,5.844218079096048,297,18,39,10,6,99,44,59,0.131,0.82,0.049,-0.7149,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,7,2,2,1,0,9,9,3,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,7,8,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,0,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7077289725899539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220748118334747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720022608229973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662026930909534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27878161717322153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165133252332861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,trust_tissues,2019/04/07,"Question: Dealing with SEVERE trust issues currently on an alt for this. anyway,

​

I'm currently in a relationship with my boyfriend (I'm gay) and we are doing great, but I'm struggling with being clingy, rooting from trust issues. I've been fucked over SO many times, and I find it hard to trust people. I love him, and he loves me, and I really do want to trust him, but I don't know how. I've never been able to really trust someone. Any help? (I'm in therapy, but due to financial reasons, I only see my therapist once a month, while she would like to see me weekly.)  


Also, I am currently on meds that help me feel better, and I have been feeling better lately. This is just kind of putting a downer on me, and I really need some way to help deal with this. Literally anything is appreciated.",5.160949367088606,5.659916107594942,6.255544303797468,78.35496202531645,68.30379746835443,9.357974683544304,28.458227848101266,9.3871,2.3532156962025317,627,20,122,12,10,210,97,158,0.069,0.608,0.322,0.9944,3,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,0,2,5,14,1,1,4,0,13,4,0,3,1,28,27,13,0,3,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,5,18,12,19,22,1,18,0,0,2,4,14,6,1,2,11,76,23,0,0.13048946831951966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435238067057344,0.0,0.1413852844062755,0.1585589867922696,0.08873731313180791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738171400369888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308146612289005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690578241281971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131958791904355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926501002799987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063541078211648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386509949056153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168929328706421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623930200438992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723942053947472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588470099438746,0.07171359919399471,0.0,0.14719780398559176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375056294327769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23554367961470996,0.0,0.0,0.1322958397440763,0.0,0.0,0.1449443825580912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041554486704952,0.0,0.0,0.09675628733287442,0.1006415223885652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389670250447484,0.0,0.09924312073763758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046496717643136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311779570941069,0.14617806843561265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25078468433785306,0.13416490642272513,0.0,0.14009685465489954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079664234444824,0.0,0.0,0.14741595685059666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056330305279896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641592458865195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492260792932997,0.15150833019385435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608945834561873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696606928039812,0.10357646616723827,0.10467078048252572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269597436843936,0.0,0.1585589867922696,0.0
mentalhealth,ilikepiehi1,2019/04/07,"Impact of Technology on Mental Health Thread This is a widely debated topic and I'm curious to see everyone's opinion. I'll get this discussion started by sharing my own opinion. I think that there are several factors that can harm mental health and focusing on things like cell phones is ridiculous. If anything, technology has done lots to spread the word about mental health and encourage people to get help.",7.613424657534248,9.31663965753425,7.399890410958908,68.01326027397263,63.38356164383561,10.771506849315069,36.51780821917808,10.793553405168565,4.554750136986302,337,16,50,9,5,107,56,73,0.07400000000000001,0.757,0.16899999999999998,0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,0,9,12,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,3,8,11,2,4,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,4,2,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15498022786183652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272782814542427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17995818066156247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19679017324305206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6005606028244534,0.0,0.0,0.12623418680750478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200893152934024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011213854323705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5693795481409155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056488580573364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500752897831694,0.0,0.0,0.21276023385498533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333015321823793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511863635184364,0.12067479264306212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lsdmthc22,2019/04/07,"obsessed with pain and suicide, but not depressed anymore i was feeling shitty a few weeks ago like to the point where i was going to shoot myself if i didn't do something so i ate 7 grams of shrooms and ive felt fucking fantastic since then had like major ego death and like realizations about universe and all that kinda stuffffff lol. i havent had any social anxiety since then like i dont give a single FUCK what anyone thinks about me and my depression is like completely gone. buttttttt ive been cutting a lottt lol. and i fantasize about suicide.... LOL... idek dood like im not even sad i just fucking love pain and the thought of killing myself.. 

​

i wanna know like what the fuck this means cus ik for fact this isnt normal lmao like what the fuck is going on with me ",2.151146110056928,4.701150619354841,2.5826565464895666,92.78574952561672,81.51612903225806,5.195445920303605,23.95635673624288,6.522977012572876,0.6859867172675527,626,23,125,6,17,192,97,155,0.245,0.488,0.267,0.5643,0,0,1,1,0,3,17.0,0,0,0,0,7,22,7,1,7,3,14,9,0,0,2,25,31,12,4,3,5,0,2,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,9,1,0,6,0,0,3,6,13,0,0,10,2,16,9,12,21,4,10,0,3,0,6,3,3,5,2,12,73,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218229085193516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489791918328315,0.14006894424215727,0.07838938691972037,0.0,0.08818329779157008,0.0,0.11431954085831175,0.0806013500591668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208612297892086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985684102599922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509874253373524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613652929370968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828533922750405,0.0,0.11067986642064216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5328387551002509,0.0,0.11058007485203808,0.1310242604821704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451429379788327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753216030680686,0.0,0.06335085970288118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505313373631345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403810970919332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255657605270774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294276847941168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453165541581092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089699582192292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907095325273588,0.0,0.0,0.11750599809413717,0.0,0.08874255396749728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25217924229556005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386208981537931,0.0,0.09151364543845827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246480449826364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006894424215727,0.0
mentalhealth,j00sua,2019/04/07,"i've started to scare myself     i'm 17, and i think i might have a substance abuse problem. i just took pills prescribed for my anxiety which i have stopped taking months and months ago. i take them randomly when i feel like shit, even when i know i shouldn't and when i know i'll feel even worse in the morning.
    i take random amounts, sometimes too much. i havent OD'd so bad i had to go to the hospital, but if i continue like this, it's gonna happen soon.
    i also drink whenever possible. started a while ago. i only do it home because that's where the alcohol is, so i guess thats a... good thing. 
    pills, alcohol, self harm and suicide is all i can think about. today has been one of the worst days in a while. last night i took pills, slept for 12 hours and like 10mins ago i took pills, again.
    i wasn't scared earlier. but i think it's all hitting me now. i really don't know what to do. i'm scared of what i've become. i'm scared i'll lose control. i'm going back to school tomorrow, which means i'll be living at the dorm for another week. i'm just at a loss. don't know who to turn to. ",0.058205128205127465,2.1193881538461525,1.9892307692307725,96.83076923076928,86.26495726495726,5.651282051282053,19.256410256410245,7.010146845296331,0.14351794871794876,844,24,201,12,26,279,128,234,0.173,0.7340000000000001,0.094,-0.9529,0,0,3,0,1,1,33.0,0,0,1,3,17,15,1,4,10,0,17,9,2,1,2,30,48,16,1,3,5,0,2,3,0,3,6,0,2,1,12,5,3,2,10,1,0,5,5,11,0,1,7,2,26,4,17,36,5,35,0,2,0,0,3,5,1,5,28,113,38,2,0.0,0.119748811798636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687715098155498,0.21602147497061253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082388012658104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597839660571368,0.07731658747762901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771489675450463,0.08438738824345446,0.06160999050157196,0.11162144043736663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133561274358184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518036743514773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900796338891256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350865242744195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022058290380107,0.0722028538176528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487831540622867,0.08477087234466582,0.0,0.0,0.11133757202626288,0.0,0.08937391842050743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137924017837864,0.0,0.09953142072471513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221768706168323,0.08238374326268671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812986031230582,0.0,0.08924471571480075,0.0,0.0,0.11306901183504707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009245912908994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721696018364052,0.0,0.0,0.16134270140802354,0.0,0.07429645923527205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484528023716114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848615437738638,0.07686661331866047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393875452859285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670823148358408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474661825075452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047459817645125,0.1022860055321224,0.0,0.0,0.1054357535303114,0.0,0.10374464044200964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995863476367664,0.0,0.14307261272271524,0.0,0.0,0.08449720316068933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055176510336154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22797121415696986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714495291273123,0.19428048864726816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580045327435384,0.0,0.3368701211184084,0.0,0.10993273994484527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107048981644327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299671881696988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GrammarMePlease,2019/04/07,Do fluorescent lights fuck with anyone else vision? When ever I'm under fluorescent lights my vision starts to go super funny & my body starts to freak out kind of like the beginning of an acid trip? ,8.27342105263158,7.863436868421054,8.277894736842107,69.55526315789477,61.89473684210528,10.757894736842106,26.894736842105264,10.125756701596842,2.4439052631578937,163,3,28,3,2,53,31,38,0.129,0.603,0.269,0.7155,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,3,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,3,7,7,0,9,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,6,14,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431940090833289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22147607138067227,0.32454356685775393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35183324737868626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26460052371450216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865147661728658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928264453941372,0.0,0.0,0.18001397275509196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32984207305016605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474602869527107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.448388702734585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SiriusTurtle,2019/04/07,"Need help keeping positive I don't want to get into too many details about the actual incident to re-open currently healing wounds. Last week I was kicked out of my parents' house abruptly and it was very, very ugly. I had completely cut off my parents because of it. I am currently staying with my two close friends until I can get a permanent place for myself.

It was a very traumatic event for me and I've been trying my hardest to cope with it. It's extremely difficult; it took me three whole days to completely get over the shock and I have been on and off been experiencing extremely depressing feelings, on and off paranoia and extreme stress over trying to get myself back on track, and - lets just say very terrible - thoughts when i feel like i cant afford all of this and that my life is crumbling.

I've been taking these days hour-by-hour, but its really tough. Ive been trying to stay positive but its been increasingly hard to unless people are constantly around me. I'm trying to find ways to stay positive but I'm having trouble finding reasons or methods to keep my feelings afloat. 

Does anyone have any methods or reasons they use to stay positive in dire situations that they can pass on to me? I really need help.",6.676791767554484,7.009836533898305,7.034285714285716,74.65466101694919,65.01694915254237,10.641162227602903,34.65375302663439,10.451354775682146,3.67118377723971,986,42,178,23,14,321,136,236,0.122,0.773,0.105,0.4369,5,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,0,6,10,1,1,4,0,22,3,0,3,1,36,40,16,0,3,7,2,4,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,12,14,0,2,8,0,0,3,2,8,0,2,12,6,24,2,35,27,3,35,0,1,0,0,8,15,0,2,13,117,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.09798666814523364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828293481203689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020971777070616,0.0,0.0,0.08938709351695315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720987408387044,0.0,0.0612096239921865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21055808188552114,0.10850863772804216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951359835954382,0.0,0.08648386182302094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787035764946273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15231248165182024,0.07173365062000088,0.0,0.0,0.18354770090913888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757730266702215,0.0,0.2098424483179136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994854851349766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346067762661666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19776925100524045,0.1158608321963892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17849985106447944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184838054875565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267706795440444,0.07092327082565453,0.04905575095811779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180101112291128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890699362942875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229891031092843,0.0,0.0,0.06961235627346367,0.0,0.10490814138718614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286517373442285,0.2064784978494496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798508709350221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286619018378015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280991361166856,0.0,0.0,0.11502048073953774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549658849151701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971513149204247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115603345063222,0.2726899576090671,0.0,0.0980869733341732,0.0,0.0,0.0867228794382294,0.0,0.3313984197256542,0.05922501939635939,0.07970159155994924,0.08054366115184301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210531461531366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dmrhine,2019/04/07,"Have you disclosed your mental health to your employer? Tell me your stories. I’m curious to hear how other people have disclosed their mental health status to their employers, I think it may be time to tell my supervisor about my depression & anxiety, because she seems suspicious of my last sick day. I don’t want her to think I’m interviewing elsewhere, but I also don’t want to be a “pain in the ass” employee or make her think I’m gonna be unreliable. So please tell me your stories about how you’ve disclosed, if it’s gone well or poorly, Do you recommend it?, etc. Thank you!",4.073859649122806,5.795383228070179,5.18684210526316,80.43622807017546,71.98245614035088,8.926315789473685,28.456140350877188,9.444778638647367,2.6049719298245617,464,18,89,11,9,153,70,114,0.142,0.722,0.136,-0.3945,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,7,2,0,7,4,0,0,2,0,9,5,1,3,0,14,23,8,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,1,1,20,2,10,17,1,5,0,1,0,1,17,1,1,5,3,55,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767687410828752,0.0,0.1865360797413636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170248772972654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494758347178257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102942877335924,0.0,0.1482817850472697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19200472331901766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659976121842641,0.19403765571382126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14033397347396312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149186245650688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469950477371625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18319115565553126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193545735815886,0.0,0.0,0.1889807833667932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672866328738635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4514282006628072,0.15850247026745187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33094093398257635,0.0,0.0,0.1003883065273624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20308971894716388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479317253528266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,akcpcc,2019/04/07,"Off Xanax for the first time in 8 years I’ve been on Xanax for 8 years. Dose has come up and down, but I haven’t been off since 8 years ago.  Been through anxiety, then depression, then lost my job, then a deep dark time.

In the last six months I’ve improved, and I’ve been on a low dose of Xanax for the last six months 

Last week I forgot a dose and noticed no difference. I haven’t had any in about four days! 

I’ve often thought Xanax is something I’d never be off of, but here I am. There’s Light at the end of the tunnel friends.",2.5486206896551735,3.042302655172417,3.187413793103449,98.0364655172414,74.17241379310346,6.834482758620689,22.25862068965517,6.6274283507984215,0.06802068965517273,412,9,106,3,8,129,66,116,0.13699999999999998,0.7909999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.7574,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,8,0,11,7,0,0,1,10,15,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,4,8,1,5,1,19,6,0,33,0,3,0,0,1,13,0,1,19,60,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006563011692497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046625173337664,0.0,0.1467666068129435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526390655301818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372896517251815,0.0,0.16524224271461468,0.0,0.0,0.20044498703486546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699243347748894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318960450839706,0.0,0.0,0.14822473472197475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190383963276767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.46915608343597903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094296233847393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062696064611115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796844451750973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21842529735344574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870233749978235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769739680759786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523094231498483,0.2237414245804428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15389247108798482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706400824215204
mentalhealth,FLUXXIX,2019/04/07,"Is this a balance between being too empathetic, and too apathetic? - Just because I don't share your beliefs, doesn't mean I reject you personally.

-I will walk along to support a person until they are healed enough to walk on their own. I will not stock more tissue than a person can use in a reasonable grieving period.

-If your distress, and pain are precious to you , you should carry it elsewhere. I will only help you categorize it , then move onto getting over it.

- If you cannot find the humor in your troubles, and only create more complex situations I will laugh at you eventually, for I will find your folly is most entertaining. 

-If you opt to fill your arms with jagged pieces of your broken life, I will help you pick out a few token pieces and show you how to make a keepsake keychain.

-If you ask me to slow down because you carry the burdens of your life, I will only help carry what is valued, and only if it is not soaked wet from your tears.

-I find drama to be agreeable in moderation, however when I go to a theater I do not expect the actors to hand me a script. I do not take a role.

-If you seek help out of a hole, I will lower a rope, and wait to pull you out. I will not climb in to keep you company or redesign your hole.",3.546487000634116,4.941431156626507,4.8752694990488274,83.4512301838935,72.77510040160642,7.169816106531389,25.153455928979074,7.669130373188453,1.2636698795180727,974,30,194,12,19,324,134,249,0.108,0.742,0.15,0.9071,2,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,23,2,1,5,12,0,1,14,0,24,6,2,5,0,41,34,17,1,8,13,0,2,0,0,10,4,0,0,3,6,11,0,2,8,4,0,7,8,6,0,0,0,2,42,6,33,22,8,24,1,2,0,0,35,12,0,8,5,151,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371742887570144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788925081867555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151613021966081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023302192446864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666123285701182,0.0,0.08339098014779396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3934045376305831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042183559223966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20728181255335726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794451813816532,0.0,0.0,0.15983378658002118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595252636023352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4463841380415662,0.15613282473369036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843612605424718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15086457797729966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493252641151002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665093416058584,0.0,0.0,0.1103239424940337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672903710258746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,harleyjune,2019/04/07,"Am I depressed? Depression-denial? I'm not suicidal and I feel that I'm really good at taking my mind off things with distractions (games/tv/whatever) but I feel that for quite a while now I haven't truly been happy with myself, my life or the idea of life in general

There are times where if I'm stuck without some kind of distraction and start to think, I can really get into my own head and feel very down; again, not to the point of suicidal thoughts particularly, but to the point of huge self hate, and kind of wishing I was never alive in the first place so I wouldn't have obligations to other people that would prevent me from committing suicide (but I'd be too much of a puss to do that anyway).

I do have that trope of finding it hard to get out of bed and sleeping a lot when possible but I think that's more down to laziness than anything, although saying that there isn't really anything that motivates me to want to get out of bed either. I have goals, I find joy in doing many different things, but for the most part nothing seems worth it when I've just woke up, but then later on the day I beat myself up about it and hate myself for laying about doing nothing.

I don't think I have depression, I'm definitely very social anxious and very self-critical but I dont know, I can't tell if I'm just in denial sometimes. 

​

​",5.202205882352942,5.6099898088235305,5.833823529411763,81.73470588235296,68.19117647058823,9.194117647058825,28.5,9.168548406835145,2.176339705882353,1076,34,216,19,17,350,146,272,0.151,0.74,0.109,-0.9345,1,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,0,0,0,5,14,11,2,2,9,0,21,5,2,1,2,53,46,23,3,6,16,0,4,0,0,2,3,1,2,1,14,12,0,1,13,0,1,0,10,6,0,1,5,5,24,5,42,38,8,31,0,2,0,0,4,19,0,7,12,154,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874950508186604,0.2341057639637869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882677133959877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854464449568756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062125617569793824,0.0,0.16593974358307115,0.0,0.0,0.1006455407668459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289938145292305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612376006939867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608983793099556,0.08193922051250144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098713794419796,0.0,0.0,0.08079799184290352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254629235242156,0.0862937822234605,0.1902141192389835,0.09886354363505916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087461342997918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006281219427719,0.052941076584633734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13608306945133505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189729243207793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766465862037052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726699289960876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081447366544485,0.0,0.07429651564348387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18486465839130095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431723981516293,0.0,0.06678388491641743,0.0,0.1006455407668459,0.0,0.1821281330850252,0.10859888903303372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024600275744068,0.0,0.0,0.18513658955908704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766063908834109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769625409397264,0.2009887811241462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640071159644514,0.09819746840740376,0.0,0.0,0.09527396301203132,0.0,0.06818367840259845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161119038172335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242903052430646,0.0,0.0841976644223625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799626116095705,0.1851753191017509,0.0,0.07647616677056862,0.056171463806491316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384498432738457,0.056818603639865774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077605967024716,0.0928597836863286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843087968366451,0.0,0.2341057639637869,0.0
mentalhealth,leothefox314,2019/04/07,"I Have a Problem I have a problem, and my autism doesn't help. Basically, if something aggravates me, I will (sometimes, not every time) go from calm to fucking yelling at the drop of a hat. What is wrong with me?",2.21142857142857,4.340778000000004,3.3954761904761916,89.42035714285717,78.52380952380952,6.104761904761905,29.54761904761905,7.1686216300943375,1.625361904761904,164,8,34,2,4,53,35,42,0.342,0.608,0.05,-0.9092,0,0,1,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,4,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,7,2,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,1,6,1,5,6,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792170478682369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063720448577717,0.0,0.0,0.1883410798560783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22212904593011104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6342061226849169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551263160260178,0.32776102514660355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19324079716171766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.362331611137294,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,WinterComfortable,2019/04/07,"I think, but am unsure if, I need help...(basically a vent) So I think I have depression maybe?

​

I feel bad a lot of the time (just like this weird, tired, don't want to do anything feeling), but I don't think my thing is as bad as others have it that I've read about. But it changes from day to day

​

I think a lot of it stems from a couple major trauma's in my life. 

​

The first is the lack of a real maternal figure in my life. My mom left when I was 2 or 3. So it was just me and my dad until I was about 6. He's the best dad a guy could ask for. I was never hungry, he was and is ALWAYS supportive, logical, level headed, smart. A great man, a great role model. But he's not a mom. He got remarried to a woman who was physically and mentally abusive. Because I feared and hated this woman so much I went inward and just went into my imagination. I would stay in my room alone and just draw and play with toys and write stories and stuff. If I did something like...not clean my room, my stepmom would pull my hair, push me, throw things, smacked my head into a wall once. I couldn't even dress myself because I would be criticized for it. Not like ""those things don't match"" but ""that looks stupid, don't wear that"". And I tried to tell my dad but for whatever reason he never believed me until years later. Around 13 or 14, she had spent us into the poor house and left, so it was just me and dad again for the rest of my adolescence. 

​

So onto the NEXT thing that fucked me up, and that was my first love. Around 19 I fell in love with this girl. Because of my constant verbal abuse as a kid, I've always been a quiet, shy artsy type of guy. Girls and stuff never came easily for me. But, I met a girl who was just amazing. She was beautiful and an artist too. We became friends pretty fast and it was a really intense, deep friendship considering how briefly we knew each other. We would talk until dawn, text each other all day and we eventually started a relationship. For me, I knew she was the one. Right away. I'm usually very in touch and in tune with myself, and I just knew she was what I wanted. I never knew a person could be so right. I never have particularly liked people, and I can count the people I care about on practically 1 hand. But she changed everything. Beautiful, smart, funny...ut she had issues too. Lots of self conscious issues and stuff. I guess after she left she went into therapy and is now better, with the help of a lot of pot and a cocktail of meds.

​

After about 2 years, after I totally invested everything in her, she left. Never really got any answers about that, she had no answers. She just left. We had a shitty breakup really hard on me and after a point I never talked to her again. Haven't had a real relationship since then. Some dating here and there, but no chemistry with any. I don't think Im ugly, I'm a good guy, I'm funny, :I just don't like ""going out"" I don't like clubs, I don't like bars, I just don't like going out and talking to strangers.

​

So back to the people I care about. My dad, my brother, my 2 best friends (a couple I've known since high school), and their 2 daughters who I love like my own.

​

I feel like I live vicariously through them in a way. Like I have no life of my own. And I don't want to act like my life is bad...I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are as good as family. I have a good job, a house a nice car. But sometimes I want my own life. My own kids a wife and all that. But all of that is gone because my ex took them from me.

​

Because of her choices, I have to try to figure out ways to compensate and build a life. Ive never been in a situation where I am helpless to fix something, I can't make her love me, nothing I ever do can bring her back, nothing I ever do will fix that.

​

I know my issues (if there even is one) is my own. I can't and shouldn't pin it on my ex...but everytime I think about what is wrong with me, it always comes back to her. My best female friend, the female half of the couple I mentioned above, is still friends with my ex. And I have this...visceral reaction everytime I hear her name. or see her picture. I get a stone in my stomach and I feel nausious for a second and it's not uncommon for just her \*name\* to ruin my mood for the day. I've thought about reaching out (no I have mo idea why, it's just a compulsion) but I'm so afraid, terrified, of her ignoring me like she would do in the wake of our breakup. How fucked up is that? I don't fear anything much in this world, but being ignored and rejected by this girl I dated almost a decade ago scares me. Bad. I guess I was addicted to her and am still going through withdrawal.

​

Help me. IT's been too long, I always heard with time, my heartbreak will heal and I'l forget all about her. But that isn't true at all. She's stuck in my blood...and I'm sure it exacerbated by other issues...or vice versa. I have no idea what to do. Seek therapy? What do I do?

​

I don't want to care about stupid shit like this anymore.

​",1.666956444759208,3.465175341831916,3.2532639872521263,91.38615660410768,78.8677998111426,6.187759678942399,21.32397898961284,7.126321808644098,0.4613324598677994,3953,109,875,47,96,1305,379,1059,0.14,0.679,0.181,0.9954,1,2,2,0,1,0,221.0,7,0,3,6,55,66,6,4,53,0,90,24,8,4,18,181,154,78,0,19,36,12,8,13,5,8,9,3,3,14,49,64,2,2,27,7,3,17,35,23,0,7,40,13,150,42,111,100,27,114,0,5,2,6,95,47,3,15,60,602,199,4,0.0,0.07052245876756985,0.0,0.03244324889500756,0.0,0.0,0.026380815300193386,0.0,0.02980076017737992,0.030822818224268262,0.0,0.0,0.09905220877556492,0.3869448112640673,0.43394599003850265,0.0404762101257074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02951433822281465,0.0,0.0,0.04898057723717987,0.052986163961433366,0.0278219738739208,0.0,0.027960892771121768,0.06865177432254818,0.09939482519307492,0.09070837425350907,0.0,0.0,0.03352980038609585,0.09369516922141442,0.02632067164947245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03403799042172313,0.09102819006189128,0.0,0.06296515322346813,0.02563596531272137,0.0,0.032160439744018395,0.0,0.047522544983350144,0.09878801083261077,0.0,0.07677203148587095,0.0,0.02563260478820373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03931295139596256,0.053840004577998216,0.0,0.0,0.0534934902499225,0.0,0.028055473889470283,0.06697748925250528,0.06019104704152484,0.02126084887513804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050628393432438586,0.0,0.0,0.11496412728815755,0.05502605457712141,0.015548590315408341,0.0,0.05074059487421107,0.07488488102500385,0.047604250574091705,0.06562193277236464,0.0655689122469681,0.08840247952576262,0.0,0.0,0.026659489374297685,0.029382251884391437,0.06108555038691365,0.0,0.033542154495620584,0.0,0.05984334345936395,0.031443516035099706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867905432344851,0.0,0.06719177992115108,0.03214635882137072,0.09318643453464108,0.02953262318711952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01635554766874285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167390852776334,0.0,0.12612398195730154,0.20355212065571476,0.0,0.026278994712715047,0.026337033807687583,0.024991256131032008,0.0,0.0,0.12650621754664218,0.10743975824133743,0.0,0.01986531039764151,0.0,0.029898340388328712,0.0,0.03305711587327328,0.0,0.0299915020556139,0.0,0.0,0.06971008476686948,0.0,0.0,0.043754663652166514,0.022066973175374045,0.18362455493868104,0.0,0.03165054262836442,0.0,0.0,0.057111848259284975,0.0,0.0,0.031693874356442775,0.06049928920819157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061896380866459814,0.02598564946307669,0.0,0.0,0.02813321483677456,0.0,0.0,0.030277044610187324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029768472025149262,0.06774774312364072,0.057195858322250576,0.030598666740088237,0.0,0.06390310374328631,0.0,0.05083046946769101,0.0,0.0,0.02979537059867152,0.03011913228737644,0.02371520039694944,0.0,0.031046606931985188,0.0,0.0305486418530431,0.04923625132735214,0.03345195723164366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0458220481448455,0.02943381480242904,0.0,0.021064577343098752,0.03172064630019065,0.04753341720781189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220567696508492,0.0,0.03377177016115607,0.028048842173268067,0.0,0.0,0.07176089109613466,0.02601191745421494,0.0,0.06806726424924843,0.0,0.07908599846821099,0.11441564675405284,0.0,0.023626447965015767,0.034707078630765574,0.03420522305463116,0.0,0.0,0.033064919907163294,0.04041074118203089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03579811907154541,0.0,0.032776896383995814,0.024555461970599102,0.08776732928897048,0.047244869837743585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276461813353382,0.0268541486990489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570473693436744,0.032538345688022566,0.43394599003850265,0.03832946747475498
mentalhealth,haven1122,2019/04/07,"Advice Needed - Anxiety Medication Hello all,

Like many I live day to day with a constant inner monologue assessing everything around me and focusing on worst case scenarios.

I have had obsessive thought patterns for most of my memorable life. As a child it involved tapping patterns with my fingers, evolved into applying arithmetic to number sequences and as my age progressed I now deal with controlling thought patterns. We're talking... Anything I don't know the exact outcome or source of I obsessively assess outcomes or causes. These thought processes continue even when I'm not actively thinking about the issue at hand.

I feel like I never have a moments peace. I saw a therapist who suggested thought stopping techniques and I never went back because I was honestly so annoyed by the concept. How can I stop thoughts that resemble the operating system of my mind? My anxiety has been around for so long it has become the system 32 of my brain, all the other processes run off and around it.

I've been thinking... Maybe I'd be happier if it could stop. What type of person would I be if I didn't always have a negative worst case mind set? Maybe I could get a moment's peace in my head. 

The only thing holding me from trying medicine is... Not knowing how it will affect me? I don't usually take new medicines because of this. Will I have a bad reaction; will it change me completely; what if I don't know myself anymore; what if when I stop worrying I lose control of everything and descend into chaos.

Has anyone had a similar issue and just took a leap of faith with a good outcome? At this point, I need something to change. I don't want to continue to be held back by this. I don't start relationships because I don't want to expose others to the heavy load I carry. I don't do anything except work and live at home with basic activities because I can't handle too many variables in my life.

Sorry for the long read. If you stuck around this far I really appreciate it. If you understand how I feel then please let me know. If you have advice please share it. Thanks x.",5.19811697948494,6.766996612658232,5.8537145351374935,77.35430379746838,68.9493670886076,8.99257965953732,33.11436054124837,9.40505699530331,3.236227411610652,1662,77,291,35,29,540,209,395,0.134,0.769,0.097,-0.8859,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,3,0,5,18,14,1,2,19,0,35,7,4,7,5,74,63,26,0,14,13,0,4,2,0,4,3,0,1,2,21,18,0,8,15,1,0,3,14,7,0,0,16,5,45,7,43,37,5,47,1,1,1,0,13,16,0,10,27,203,66,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765357632093702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712134595284013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341995781581602,0.0,0.07999991644452357,0.056404191458754624,0.0,0.13276401648572145,0.28724267219746275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405577628315155,0.06735351518332057,0.1966952416501044,0.08909028398405765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005096948616903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286715549258554,0.17066982694195404,0.0,0.0845777389580555,0.08717229141027467,0.18094963736392267,0.12881195570769485,0.0,0.0,0.10404698993722343,0.08316406040263484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053279744968726825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499646639583785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157524484672596,0.0576284692785662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04214514032712647,0.0,0.0,0.0676595917520015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278754024617245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091550567874775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683906292201552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773297354019507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248739894152034,0.11395487330104075,0.07881957247659316,0.0,0.1424607501203049,0.1427753851775619,0.0,0.09024565831358816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635672070588284,0.1620815425261546,0.0,0.0,0.08126344308299463,0.0,0.0,0.16290120287464468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962700954946998,0.12443061522638127,0.0779086214558823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061350833519254036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043524981345707,0.0,0.1770961256175651,0.07625632054721236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068875733260363,0.0,0.051677299489821714,0.0,0.0,0.08660609161239556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062101341985552914,0.0,0.09030002127979588,0.05709646662802247,0.0,0.0,0.26976465438711106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065149051966496,0.0648370208894788,0.0,0.07426726909766687,0.0,0.09366052048157908,0.05359152237824795,0.1033762201856958,0.0,0.3202026501175424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962392481404816,0.05476754880319045,0.0,0.0,0.08397711662470958,0.0,0.0,0.08884322434184025,0.0,0.09515888795025172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477905016041134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058726484115966336,0.08192118076179422,0.0,0.05730347100246312,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hodwill,2019/04/07,"Pushing myself every single day Sorry this is a long one. I’m in my final year of university, I’m literally done in less than 2 months (final exam on may 24th) and I’m on the edge. I’ve been suffering depression, anxiety and insomnia since my second year. They all feed each other I know. My second year was absolute hell, I went from feeling invulnerable and happy to it hitting me like a train with no real cause. After eventually breaking down I reached out for help at the GP and university counselling which was essentially patronising me and then refusing to help me any longer. I basically dragged myself through on pro plus and staring at my computer all day to study. Last year I was out on placement and I managed to manage myself a lot better, but I wasn’t perfect. 

Back at Uni this year it was a decline until Christmas and then I haven’t really managed to get myself out of the loop, despite me doing everything I can think of to help me. I’m back in counselling this year and it’s better but not all that fruitful, he suggests that if I was any other state of my degree to take a year out. I know that finishing this will give me the time to sort myself out (haven’t got a grad job lined up, taking some time to myself)

Because my engagement with stuff is so poor my work takes a lot longer than I’d like. But I find myself trying to do work all day to try to compensate for this. So I find myself either sat at my desk trying to do work or just crippled sat there. Every day I say I’ll set realistic times to do work and have a break and stuff and yet I never do it. I’ve got an assignment due next week and my project not too long after that, and in truth I’m probably more ahead with those than most people on my course, but I can’t help push myself. It’s just feeding my poor moods and lack of enjoyment for life yet I’m stuck in this loop. 

I feel more lost than I did in my second year even though the end is in sight almost. Ive been in contact with Samaritans and local services multiple times. Yet to be honest in my head I just get annoyed with myself as I know theres people in much worse positions than me. Does anyone else push themselves beyond what they think they should? Any advice? ",3.957924107142855,5.0408621584821445,5.173124999999999,82.909375,71.38839285714286,8.010714285714286,25.830357142857146,8.376592526197632,1.5897955357142863,1749,53,353,27,32,581,217,448,0.09,0.802,0.108,0.8461,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,3,9,19,16,2,0,14,0,28,6,1,1,7,68,55,30,0,3,12,0,2,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,22,28,3,1,9,0,2,4,8,5,0,4,17,6,54,10,68,33,16,75,1,3,2,0,13,28,1,9,41,248,76,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351818990370558,0.0,0.0,0.08558370192342207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436319820883694,0.0,0.06538266822304707,0.0,0.0,0.059761105121110124,0.0875719083080089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143899585476002,0.0,0.05210040561289514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15117872856025688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779902100185383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22047876026094124,0.0,0.07361333048744338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479348795659274,0.08746328021862625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139741830449997,0.0,0.07569914331921966,0.0,0.0,0.05645070618963401,0.0,0.1440206928372818,0.0,0.07681298894965577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643022187686766,0.0,0.0,0.18725169522611174,0.15623212565235195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930684391691314,0.08198854575862408,0.0,0.0,0.1367128880998618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098211129176297,0.0,0.0,0.08771466742835009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291491822464629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481364920958195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091267888580514,0.06966770169823483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036846718551157,0.08351054477607511,0.0,0.0,0.15127270831534856,0.0,0.0,0.09329825005284854,0.14532341255092518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821961923386255,0.0,0.06282870083644694,0.0,0.06591807172934842,0.0,0.09089602378923807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791522434722895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850528596548128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214879349489896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09728111999436928,0.05475289065077068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679674615349484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069988537784473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567425619577374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568047124070465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19278355067006966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952868930065142,0.0839717247110104,0.0,0.1993479531722044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408117144873925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855715068751732,0.0,0.0,0.07922954946993542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488864391018757,0.0,0.08709903675483481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44030792499486404
mentalhealth,rdb86,2019/04/07,Feeling Alone please help First off I have struggled with depression for several decades. I recently moved with my husband to Hawaii where his family is based. More and more I feel isolated and alone despite being surrounded by people. I am constantly making comparisons in how my family would handle certain situations in a more rational manner. Today I had a total breakdown. Being Hawaii we live with 5 other families (all related) in a home but technically separate units. I had been waiting to do laundry for several days as other members of family did laundry and left it in the washer for several days. Today I had it. I loaded up the car and went to the laundromat to do laundry at $10 a load. It feels like we will never get out of debt and it feels like my husband doesn’t even know me. I spiraled like crazy crying fits into coughing fits into severe nausea. I feel like my husband makes no effort now that we are living with his family. I feel isolated and alone since my family is 12 hours of flights away. What do you do to calm yourself when you know you are spiraling?,5.300211382113822,6.8730582731707335,6.432682926829269,73.28528455284554,68.70731707317074,9.954471544715446,31.227642276422767,10.203070172399654,3.5457739837398368,866,36,145,23,15,290,123,205,0.14300000000000002,0.7559999999999999,0.101,-0.8464,1,3,0,0,0,0,17.0,3,3,0,2,5,8,0,1,7,0,20,1,0,3,4,34,33,10,0,1,1,3,6,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,8,16,0,1,8,0,1,3,3,2,0,1,6,6,25,6,28,23,5,30,0,1,0,0,12,16,0,0,15,108,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29777322354590274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004157367114472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356524121784208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527192688797654,0.12361326559747683,0.0,0.08254386193291023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329912349947615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5420769014299827,0.0,0.2907469715414613,0.2053969062403096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151850254593514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05007063085672424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423720519144875,0.0,0.0961318525452396,0.0,0.09437967619298783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533849991142083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412666909147827,0.0,0.0,0.18728354857179808,0.0,0.16925082169567826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794325448125768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185906340850856,0.0,0.0,0.07391503924196356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644098221261216,0.0,0.0,0.10519972959071837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946270105089554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43307199560969606,0.0,0.07927696707455514,0.10772427390544237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018914837425584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168364710039367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884142245905556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807952046434583,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,imruiningeverything,2019/04/07,"I need real resources before I completely destroy my life and my boyfriend’s life I have PTSD. I am writing to different subs in search of comfort/resources. I am destroying everything. I was diagnosed in preschool with PTSD and never received any kind of help other than prescriptions.  I have been vocal since my teens (30F) that the symptoms of this is greatly damaging my abilities to live a normal life. I’m too anxious and ready to run at all times. I always daydream myself working or going to school but the sad truth is I cannot. I do not act right.

I stated in other posts I feel my looks and gender play a part in why I’m never taken seriously. I am hoping to find anyone who has experienced this or seen it. I really don’t think I’m the only PTSD case that gets tossed aside. It would be very comforting, in fact, if I could hear at least one other person tell me I’m not alone with that.

I had a very traumatic childhood that started before I remember. When we were finally safe, I wasn’t. I was targeted by predators. As heinous as that abuse was, I am the most screwed up from watching my mother be beaten to a pulp. I often wake up and I’m three again, smelling blood and vomit and being terrified mommy isn’t going to wake up.

I’m screwed up. I’m begging for REAL EXTENSIVE HELP with this. I need to go somewhere or find a doctor that’s not going to prescribe me something then carry on like I’m cured. I am ruining everything. I am torturing my boyfriend. I live in Massachusetts in the cape. If anyone can tell me where to go, please do. I need real help. I can’t keep living like this day in and day out.",3.0858407180186336,4.817210935582825,4.538520790729379,84.02889456941605,74.61349693251533,7.529016132697115,26.4912519881845,8.285830014693849,1.801821995001137,1279,47,251,22,27,426,174,326,0.147,0.726,0.127,-0.9159,1,1,1,0,1,0,35.0,1,0,0,2,5,19,6,0,10,0,30,12,3,0,5,47,56,18,0,9,9,1,1,2,0,1,7,1,0,1,16,13,0,2,5,1,0,8,10,10,0,2,9,7,39,9,38,42,4,39,0,3,3,2,12,18,2,8,13,164,55,4,0.0,0.11438913349795245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999071303680354,0.0,0.0,0.0803325389592453,0.0,0.0,0.06565339162124999,0.0,0.0,0.10906750728363332,0.0,0.13501195017777834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430406928116836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012247953833736,0.0,0.0,0.07708271715510143,0.0,0.0,0.1245260915744574,0.0,0.0,0.09799036804357693,0.0,0.10086817899245093,0.0,0.09881711722561247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735354695342441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048815666921845316,0.0,0.0,0.10575949229577562,0.1764793666549244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05044037897646613,0.0,0.2743415729903021,0.0,0.0,0.10644036182901148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881237141927017,0.0,0.19413470045048714,0.0,0.0,0.09589021096882196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581295354784035,0.0,0.10053596592979484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20457614866998292,0.09433327485977,0.0,0.25575098942242963,0.0,0.08107284356820367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21475898468937465,0.14892173426348254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459285371578252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542087339463243,0.07342624248522102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454800021443653,0.0,0.0,0.08429870363027632,0.0,0.10597658024244726,0.0,0.0,0.09246269149806728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385651389437736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32966543287563993,0.06184871020750191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936580004408797,0.08244825066106616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770792182440284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986239028598888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432447016156347,0.0,0.0,0.06833450766993722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034642809340263,0.0,0.0,0.16876783652791205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186164861295915,0.0,0.0,0.056295720827082875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931821246995054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711615715593754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702853541777904,0.0,0.0,0.06858225578550947,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Spiderbyte1234,2019/04/07,"DAE find it difficult to discern the differences between dreams and reality? Need Help with Dreams and Hallucinations

I have been having more and more frequent dreams which are so realistic that when I wake up, I can't remember if I had a dream or not and anything I thought about merges into my memory.

It's gotten to the point where I thought a few of my friends had died and had a panic attack as soon as I woke up and tried for hours to make sure they were ok or alive. 

It doesn't help that I invariably die in all of my dreams before I wake up, removing any sense of rationality from my thoughts and triggering my anxiety.

Can anybody help with this or at least chat?",7.051654135338348,6.338212360902253,7.257593984962408,76.8703007518797,64.48872180451127,11.209022556390977,34.03759398496241,10.608840637214634,3.2935293233082703,536,20,110,12,7,174,88,133,0.152,0.6729999999999999,0.175,0.3493,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,5,6,1,1,5,1,11,2,2,2,2,26,18,15,2,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,6,6,0,1,3,3,0,0,10,0,15,3,20,8,5,13,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,4,4,79,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048855555411507,0.0,0.14679169725622104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790521775720887,0.0,0.0,0.21829718257789096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632802216513633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982932063268375,0.2004792540502763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537964963604802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825007443909174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858499312702007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18896832691602367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280848998150654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142280487533942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225136006426788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813935917292184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173685916654782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084958491855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4570063834911206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13027749459096002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,justhowulikeit,2019/04/07,"Trying to support my best friend who has DID. Hi

So, my best friend at uni (UK) has diagnosed DID. I am best friends with one of the identifed/people, and friends with some of  the others. They are numbered, and so far I have met 6 of them(he's told me there are more than 30). I cannot view them all as 1 person, as they just aren't. They have different religions, different genders, sexuality, speech patterns, vocabulary... They don't all share the same memories either.

The one I am best friends with is the best friendship I've ever had, he looks out for me, he has the same interests as me, we can just sit and talk together for hours and have a great time.

However, the others aren't the same. For the next 4 days I've been told I won't be able to get hold of my best friend, as he's preparing for a weekend trip we're going on. I worry about him though, seriously. They have some other mental health issues, and I'm trying my best to support them. They trust me, but they don't all like me. They won't all reach out for help like my best friend did when he was going to do something really bad. It hurts, and I worry...

They all look the same(and I'm not being racist), but it's disheartening seeing the body of your best friend in a lecture theatre, but they don't care about you. They wouldn't even say hello.

I'm trying my hardest to try to adjust to a completely new way of looking at what a human is, but it's taking a toll on my own personal health (I have epilepsy). I cannot blame my best friend for this though. It is not his fault.

How can I deal with this friendship, without it causing me the significant amount of distress it currently is?

Thanks",3.1435798816568052,4.485874896449708,4.1776331360946735,88.26544378698227,73.70414201183432,7.448520710059171,24.834319526627226,8.012643519586192,1.212357396449705,1297,40,280,19,26,421,164,338,0.086,0.674,0.24,0.9951,4,0,1,0,0,0,55.0,1,2,13,10,13,35,0,1,18,0,37,4,1,2,6,39,55,20,0,1,10,0,0,2,9,3,3,2,0,3,13,13,0,1,1,1,0,3,13,6,0,2,9,7,42,29,39,41,24,22,0,2,5,0,45,8,0,2,11,197,55,1,0.0659621010370642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507559912714762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6922315550016398,0.0,0.0,0.07326902416094459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725275815087169,0.06776124786203985,0.0,0.0,0.06916000795587206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04254009826043918,0.0680040297830762,0.0,0.06695014406130133,0.0,0.13783271253236962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435673456315898,0.059666496789577736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4586594007165255,0.0,0.03446247530654517,0.0,0.07497556423315699,0.0,0.0,0.07272344926003639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022925775099113,0.0,0.0,0.04421300590372887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495938246809145,0.0,0.07061379342080035,0.0,0.0,0.06884729599082665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445150138457831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617465567442682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647428339362277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370660821746471,0.07015144277663851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893952535506145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045729815456025065,0.11519112469744185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04225701098047208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05245571026954906,0.0,0.0,0.05256325438452948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078084799501613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970602114119622,0.0,0.0,0.049595290895111034,0.0530178382136132,0.0,0.060729040347162526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961485872207185,0.0,0.038463031567877164,0.0,0.0,0.12605922856930776,0.0,0.17913574695254986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05235764552014372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358511153666517,0.0,0.0,0.13397543095943693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bbgano,2019/04/07,"I have the tendency to converse with people that aren't here anymore, and I think it's unhealthy but I'm honestly not sure. I used to know people that I cared about more than anything, and no can longer speak to them (except one person, but their life barely involves me anymore) . I can't go a day without thinking of these people, and often ask them for advice during daily tasks and engage in conversation with them. I know their natures and personalities more than well enough for my mind to always fabricate accurate responses. I only realize what I'm doing and how crazy I must look speaking to the air afterwards.

The period of my life that I knew these people was the absolute best, and right now is the absolute worst. It's like these people are still part of my life, because when it happens it really feels like they're there, and I feel comfortable again.

I feel like I need to learn how to live without the occasional company of these people, but the warm feeling of them being here is too inviting.",9.082447916666666,7.5872894322916675,8.770625000000003,70.17854166666667,60.92708333333334,11.866666666666667,36.4375,10.746095033038511,3.827975,809,29,143,16,9,261,115,192,0.076,0.731,0.193,0.9769,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,6,1,13,12,0,0,8,0,11,3,0,3,2,36,29,14,0,2,7,0,5,3,0,1,3,2,0,2,12,10,0,0,11,0,0,1,6,1,1,1,2,8,22,11,23,25,6,11,0,0,1,0,14,3,0,1,10,108,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469978100290488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618239479579517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531112149482632,0.0,0.0,0.10501280191153432,0.0,0.11929885664933199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077790349354809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339196446225547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301076988816267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229839856452481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185605216253496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580953862267477,0.18233033886756106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252414921663115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284579465991125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026309891575628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704058114595347,0.18703254926292054,0.0,0.11268266002001462,0.0,0.10716091878216442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12885051387749727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462177922614126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647236968569792,0.09705375143057436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381900432589597,0.0,0.5308154986819155,0.22284962844719286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175073575348364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897891209883716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019101367721992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027165350568582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353567510351955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110214744815554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147374200616678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460244835344304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_ThisIsAUsername,2019/04/07,"Why am I like this Sometimes I don’t fully understand myself. A few months ago I thought I conquered my problems. I’m not sure now. I used to abuse meds to escape. I feel like I’m better but still,  not sure. I’ve been feeling the need to use some mind altering substance. Something hardcore. I tell myself it’s because I’m bored. My parents are very protective and I don’t get to hang out with the few friends I have. I’m starting to wonder if I’m trying to escape again. I don’t want to find out I need to be hospitalized again. My parents can’t afford that. I won’t talk to my therapist because they just throw shitty antidepressants at me.  I’m getting tempted to self harm again, so I can feel alive. But that can’t be because of underlying problems, can it? I just want some Xans at this point.",1.4868220946915365,3.719454353658541,3.0662553802008645,90.26152797704452,81.6829268292683,5.5661406025824975,24.8909612625538,6.794906146795322,0.9290248206599716,630,25,131,7,17,207,93,164,0.149,0.7190000000000001,0.132,-0.7769,3,0,1,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,8,10,0,0,3,0,14,0,0,2,2,31,35,5,0,7,7,2,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,7,0,0,2,8,4,0,0,2,3,22,6,17,30,4,16,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,4,10,80,28,0,0.0,0.17372607383341396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12997378556331865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681428299284538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967746803587132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22241328078712067,0.10474858267822597,0.0,0.0,0.13401215021056315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328173642545099,0.0,0.15321051457056087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432666632930608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16286678182471118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480489620088147,0.0,0.11703428884298972,0.0,0.0,0.2174404397203408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32561834371320386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860755972825856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805997172024948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296134656675697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128787149274828,0.1450153943276083,0.0,0.1037815862557435,0.0,0.11709452693098946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763837399597721,0.0,0.0,0.11785123096749398,0.1281562886822567,0.0,0.0,0.17024236277952473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640348664301345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954842087100987,0.0,0.0,0.15264129090990966,0.0,0.2532730072543207,0.0,0.12098058048082685,0.17296587549189513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323058186329089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900803172991146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,notnotnotnotabot,2019/04/07,"What's wrong with me? I'm 14 in the southwest us, and I hate myself and I hate myself for hating myself. I'm laying in bed trying to recover from a panic attack and it's horrible. I'm a horrible person. My ""friends"" hate me, or at least I know they do. I eat, don't exercise, then hate myself for being fat. I procrastinate, then have panic attacks because I have so much work, I do nothing all day. I did nothing today besides browse Reddit cus I did 10 questions of my math homework and I have a speech that I have to write today. I have a good life, my family is well off, so what's wrong with me. I have no reason to feel this way and I hate it!

Sorry about the rant.",-0.13831814415907218,2.0232759718309867,2.6253935376967696,91.11732808616408,88.57746478873241,5.031317315658658,18.21209610604805,6.522977012572876,0.061823032311516535,516,14,111,6,17,180,81,142,0.343,0.625,0.032,-0.9935,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,1,1,4,15,8,2,6,0,13,4,1,1,1,14,24,10,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,2,1,6,7,2,0,4,1,0,0,2,12,1,0,2,2,26,3,14,21,3,10,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,5,80,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687862266612157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720126579426059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618588262176247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208793454996248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136508956569556,0.0,0.059731492784980474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126910764528474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908418722280073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6997900927936587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492269701810914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344068969923134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684119996934422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267032138439411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2772067735296568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314900369458507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323357711006146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146019260005225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223999706509473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22395216153187436,0.0,0.0,0.0802044162376825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209921216773155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376831740088076,0.0,0.0,0.1062155736880899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600208479548073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583193423245802,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Itfailsme,2019/04/07,"Fucked over again All my life people have walked all over me. I’m always the person that builds people up when they need it most but I always seem to be the one the ends up on the floor. Nobody is ever there to pick me up. I’m so done. Today has made me fee absolutely worthless and I just don’t know if I have the strength to recover this time. I don’t know how I’m going to get out of bed in the morning or how I’m going to function at work tomorrow. It feel like what was left of my world has completely disintegrated beneath my feet and I’m just left free falling through the air. I can’t breathe. I’ve been doing so well for a few weeks with my mental state, having more good days than bad. But now I feel the darkness creeping in again and I don’t know how to escape. Why do people use people? Why isn’t anyone there to support me? Sometimes I think I’d be better off out of people’s lives so I can’t hurt anymore. I just don’t want to be awake right now but I can’t fall asleep. I don’t think I can do this. I’m so angry and heart broken. When will things get better?! ",0.372820512820514,2.296888183760686,2.281730769230773,96.06951923076923,83.82905982905983,4.7547008547008565,17.442307692307693,5.7366,-0.5865948717948721,841,18,197,5,24,279,128,234,0.129,0.747,0.124,-0.4938,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,4,20,12,1,0,9,0,26,6,4,6,3,35,50,18,0,3,8,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,7,7,0,0,8,0,2,5,9,4,1,1,4,2,22,9,28,42,5,38,0,2,0,1,2,19,1,4,14,127,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21777921416712812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978225249658495,0.09150338329218252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926625054809876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23147773316841624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372087617198508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439666764468695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391964619157387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159069550670274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837427991452848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233787602153513,0.09348950453078324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098196569927686,0.13674242390570804,0.0,0.14874643065747592,0.1097627923982066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507486284710184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009297341017338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157588424893663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843689580332928,0.0,0.0924333474162299,0.06393370213032483,0.0,0.11555560220983188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382699457849294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318804664752647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703424358903501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867705778126997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536242503327931,0.11426568654342505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175742402173218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191339724251145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942816998938186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850329250898606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694044691650778,0.16770515903708744,0.0,0.0,0.07630804404746849,0.0,0.12404408464328688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130247653658703,0.0,0.0,0.07718717326297422,0.0,0.10497147306875773,0.0,0.11766275014162332,0.0,0.2361694089652156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527079187714294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thepixelmurderer,2019/04/07,Help please.. So for a long time I've had a bit of a problem. I either need to sit down or need to stand up. I can't do just one of them for any longer than about two hours. ,-1.3708536585365856,-0.04393790243902451,0.7831097560975628,107.7044207317073,86.56097560975607,4.1000000000000005,12.689024390243905,3.1291,-1.9553463414634151,130,1,39,0,4,43,33,41,0.07200000000000001,0.856,0.07200000000000001,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,5,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,3,0,10,4,2,7,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,25,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158045075027688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3464569835285564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270870341629464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125194891656433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808390702736257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4706124672639597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150402136842545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34834793970714834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30365493510792024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850455857282744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.309998552802201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TexaMichigandar,2019/04/07,"I'm hallucinating I do not have a diagnosis but for months I have been having horrible panic attacks. But now I am hallucinating. I know I am hallucinating, I do not think it is real, but it's very unsettling and I am not sure what I can do. ",0.5404666666666671,2.8745591799999985,4.888000000000002,74.86066666666667,87.2,8.133333333333335,22.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.0401333333333342,189,7,40,6,6,73,30,50,0.307,0.693,0.0,-0.9476,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,1,0,12,0,0,0,1,12,15,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,8,1,1,14,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4335600506165094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20944442098076654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041930384747805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4471426391734058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4337790185528924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591853741093701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24419562270135894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31445015590497033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,closet_transformer,2019/04/07,"Is Therapy with parents worth it? Dunno if this is the right place for this

TL;DR: I'm thinking about getting therapy with my parents. Has anyone ever done this successfully? Is it worth it?

Background: I'm almost 30. My relationship with my mother is essentially broken - she's emotionally abusive, controlling, and manipulative. I know all this, and I still fall for it, every single time. She turns me into a ranting, raving maniac; I say things I regret, and she ends up feeling justified in her initial behavior. My dad is non-confrontational and turns a blind eye to her behavior, while imploring me to be the ""bigger person"" ""for the sake of the family.""

I'm getting to a point in my life where, after my marriage, I will have no reason to ever go home again, except for ""the sake of the family.""

I'm willing to go see a counselor, and I'm financially stable enough that I can swallow the cost. But is it worth it? Does it actually work? Any time I've pointed out her ""bad"" behavior to her, she responds with ""Well yeah, I'm Hitler, so you shouldn't respect me anyways,"" then proceeds to list fifteen things I've done in the past to harm her, starting with the time I was six. Is a counselor going to be any different?

Please help, Reddit.",4.544326741996237,6.184467114406782,5.923333333333336,75.94756120527309,70.65254237288136,8.63427495291902,29.636534839924675,9.150863307647796,2.703279472693032,973,39,173,20,18,328,134,236,0.1,0.7929999999999999,0.107,-0.6402,3,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,1,0,3,9,7,1,0,14,1,18,4,1,3,3,28,36,10,0,3,3,4,1,0,0,3,2,1,1,1,14,12,1,1,4,0,4,4,2,4,1,1,3,5,26,3,29,28,3,30,0,1,3,0,20,12,0,3,14,123,40,2,0.0,0.14670728774409506,0.120831146424336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398854988153442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16840465036177388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865783156927983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338511642038818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13887544899608215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936628250561286,0.0,0.0,0.1083563330856808,0.253423141053026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928162696304147,0.10966839242152282,0.12793988730366668,0.0,0.0,0.22400583251927256,0.10432428404304324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334542812391108,0.0,0.0626074686862739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938241537696546,0.0,0.21111047977075376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829944083240888,0.0,0.12420226252546858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804862110547777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745822553457602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27497647872763115,0.0,0.11820087322969534,0.0,0.10811546334654687,0.12936628250561286,0.1359179510879168,0.2341011766381074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273083067287526,0.0,0.1329370982300213,0.0,0.1057422052589184,0.0,0.09846719416726836,0.0,0.0,0.09866907051584717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764093208000391,0.0,0.09888337470975103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28319953378483004,0.0,0.16452194856173055,0.07933930790329789,0.0,0.0,0.21660254593032455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26936274138076904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132968378355723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901429477105122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ericbluthbanana,2019/04/07,Ive been depressed and mentally sick since i was a kid i am so fucked that mental health specialists havent been able to help me much even after 4 years. I dont think i can get any better. Its a recurring cycle of terribly abnormal thoughts that just kill me from the inside. I dont have any confidence in myself anymore and dont know what to do.,3.8249999999999993,4.683952611111111,5.103777777777778,84.119,71.5,9.093333333333334,26.9,9.3871,2.132263333333333,276,9,58,6,5,92,53,72,0.29100000000000004,0.639,0.07,-0.9619,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,2,0,3,0,12,3,0,0,0,6,17,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,9,1,6,13,1,4,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,39,13,0,0.1852771012944153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25198956460545024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837450990418061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386253971097706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957889585568388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6514301485356203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237377801500254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712856946312514,0.09679963839598216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969408947281117,0.0,0.0,0.1241873355239678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049816614959398,0.0,0.1018234494566126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37343148093095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361999877078989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326313279147638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871808534800372,0.0,0.1470893227747221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931237868522496
mentalhealth,OhNoTwo,2019/04/07,"I'm definetly mentally ill, I don't know what and I can't go to a psychiatrist My life is genuinely messed up. It has been for all my life. And I could rant about everything that has happened to me and why it all sucks, but one thing about me isn't even bad for myself - it's bad for everyone.

My whole life I liked to 'Stan' (be a big fan of) celebrities and youtubers. That's normal, of course. Some are incredibly inspiring and amazing. It's not until I became 13 when it all changed.

So 13, I didn't Stan a celebrity. I stanned someone I knew in real life - a teacher. He, of course, did not know. It sounds like an 'Uwu teacher crush thing' that everyone gets. I made sure I passed his classroom between lessons (changing my whole route), I'd get nervous when speaking to him. And thats fine, crushes on adult men are fine since it's probably a one off. But mine, it was different.

 I found out his social media, made alternate accounts to catfish him into letting me in his private accounts (luckily, this did not work), think about him non stop (I mean I dreaded weekends because I knew I didn't have his lesson) and I wanted attention from him so bad I'd ACT DEPRESSED around him and once self harmed and tried to get his attention. That's not normal, and I know that's heavily offensive to people who do suffer to depression (I feel sososos guilty for doing that). I was uncontrollable. 

It's not like I wasn't depressed. I wanted to kill myself if he didn't talk to me in a day. Not exaggerating. I was obsessed. My life depended on his attention and recognition.

He left, thankfully. I thought that this was a one off, that it was a sick teacher crush and 'everyone goes through it'. 

But it's starting to happen again, but to another teacher. Im refusing to act depressed around him this time or self harm and I'm trying not to become obsessed. But it physically hurts when I don't look at his Twitter. I can't stop thinking about him. I get nervous around him.

To be honest it's not really a crushy thing. Truthfully what I want is to know everything about them, to be close to them and to tell them everything about how my life is messed up. But nothing flirty or whatever, of course. Like a substitute for the shit parents I have. 

I can't go to a therapist or whatever because my parents will find out. I don't want that happening, that'd be bad. Very bad. 

P.S. I'm not a teacher fetishiser. Teachers are the only adults I talk to as I don't go out much (my parents won't let me). ",1.8373759305210908,4.189944362903226,3.3320161290322585,88.16273573200995,81.17741935483872,6.799255583126551,26.27233250620348,7.9479579679613535,1.7229356079404463,1948,83,396,37,52,639,211,496,0.174,0.682,0.14400000000000002,-0.9559,4,0,0,0,0,1,73.0,0,0,3,3,17,37,4,6,15,0,42,9,1,4,5,81,77,32,1,8,19,3,1,4,0,2,8,2,0,5,34,22,0,3,19,1,2,6,22,25,0,3,18,4,66,12,58,49,7,37,0,6,1,0,36,20,2,6,15,265,100,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697692266812213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605174022291574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064719634865176,0.08950026847580284,0.08107572169277685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553163686511131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861201583737341,0.0,0.0,0.04734346116031582,0.0,0.2529121516241522,0.0,0.0,0.07669796191403823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048486698905568816,0.0,0.0,0.2104395770949771,0.1979288755783176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03711836775263165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709552942026442,0.0,0.0,0.08049041910370315,0.0,0.0,0.15341505336211886,0.0,0.1251620068498845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947490081133633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858706309828144,0.0,0.07929553827608342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121743287927577,0.0,0.1613771517203273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976032167838926,0.1501336644283343,0.3111104773763244,0.1434579268643806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061646020879609964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892488108905982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996515312693886,0.0,0.0,0.07398014538514881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053964892659646865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385268305827656,0.07043900018081264,0.0,0.0,0.0781793932281356,0.14923381306547112,0.05583171229891931,0.0,0.0,0.24453978754231975,0.0,0.0,0.05089334135187259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914853694990724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355680013139752,0.047028409428134806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316555271455007,0.0,0.07535444411607714,0.06072561862128247,0.0,0.0,0.07483238337815187,0.06220016542185412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0519600682696537,0.0,0.0,0.12274831251829516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918817930544595,0.0,0.0,0.11800856447970935,0.06416368981589912,0.06758618528281365,0.0,0.08523481969733056,0.14631128645437594,0.094076495018542,0.0,0.05827944369526316,0.04280603749416431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968131980267612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060571045865452915,0.17319678804546915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624122463976995,0.16391957834793594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053443449378086864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Designer_Lingonberry,2019/04/07,"I think I get depression regularly, but I don't know if it matters? Today I read an article about Abraham Lincoln which listed the common symptoms of depression, and explained that anything can set off a period of depression, it doesn't have to be a major event.

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4976127

I feel all of the symptoms listed pretty regularly, and have done since some time in secondary school. I'm 26 now.

I regularly feel worthless, stupid, struggle to do things, think about killing myself or wish I was dead quite frequently. I go through periods where I don't eat much, or can't remember anything, and avoid doing anything new or uncertain. I went through a phase of self harming when I was 24 - 25 so I could sleep at night, and have a few scars on my arms and legs.

I used to work in a hospital, and a patient died which upset me a bit. I got 8 sessions with a clinical psychologist, but after two sessions she said there was need to see her, because she could only offer CBT, and she believed I already thought that way?

I have a good job and I'm happily married to a woman who lets me be alone for hours when I feel rubbish, even if I feel that way for a long time. These days I can usually push through my lethargy and indecision, especially at work, although I find it harder to do at home.

So far I've just assumed I'm a pessimistic and gloomy person. I know about things like emotional regulation and central coherence, and assumed I was just born bad at them, like some people are bad at maths.

I'm not convinced there is any benefit in seeing a doctor, and I don't want to be a burden since I am clearly functional.

If I am getting depressed regularly, how would I stop it? Is there any clear benefit to stopping it since I've managed to put up with it for so long?",7.783423249839434,7.131029526011562,7.867360308285162,72.89438664097625,62.988439306358394,10.810276172125883,37.71933204881182,10.125756701596842,3.7246202954399497,1440,64,267,27,18,468,190,346,0.243,0.652,0.105,-0.9954,1,2,0,0,0,1,49.0,0,0,1,3,18,22,2,5,17,0,31,8,3,2,3,59,57,28,3,9,11,0,4,2,0,1,4,1,1,3,15,15,1,3,14,1,0,4,6,16,0,1,9,7,36,6,36,41,7,42,0,5,2,0,12,13,0,12,24,178,51,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213996523924863,0.10882896970332097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412915928632366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434661110481237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468617367033253,0.06011747612272157,0.0,0.0,0.11111030214681412,0.0,0.0,0.10766685197473164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15747914604571325,0.0,0.0,0.06360135995886468,0.0,0.3397630084321313,0.0,0.10235137611726793,0.0,0.0,0.10094114355151987,0.0,0.10092189491240287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091227534742117,0.0,0.11093356085150402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513718927029122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19945974465419855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013635280780484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304914124203697,0.0,0.056047682585474684,0.08271728095709895,0.07887495010190036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892330774840537,0.0,0.09712025209167896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786454579877492,0.0,0.1091077639211474,0.0,0.10839729567875543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084502695013976,0.0,0.09636092315428306,0.0,0.0,0.17455014645637507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249661260644508,0.07312504186568898,0.0,0.0952472393503002,0.0,0.0925476342974747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500450419159113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837028057304438,0.08611066365074292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033139285092513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913974449392662,0.0,0.10489388033582284,0.09864609640011184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117165652249544,0.0,0.09380964118410023,0.0,0.0,0.09980810652955777,0.15717380069282974,0.0,0.10288155125065193,0.0,0.0,0.2447369816654417,0.0,0.09869063034501366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490048292800452,0.0,0.10309841842497552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20500665243922048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103670591831665,0.12638266989144475,0.0,0.0782927945236882,0.11501154044736685,0.0,0.09347966807623392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633683222951857,0.0,0.0,0.08517550499226945,0.1086153457141009,0.0,0.058168282325714915,0.15655899236237072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142117978624607,0.0,0.0,0.11340745285947335,0.0,0.0,0.14359220800646635,0.0,0.0,0.07005639833154177,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IceFoxPete,2019/04/07,"There is this confusion that draines my energy After starting over the beginning of this post way to much, I now just start writing what comes to my mind. So sorry if this is messed up and for my english.

Well, first of all I (20M) think, that I hate myself. But at this point I can't figure out why exactly. So, it's not really abou my body, even though I wouldn't say I'm attractive. It is more about my character and the way I think. As an example. I hate to talk about myself. But here I sit - writing just about me. I hate it, but I keep doing it. Even in conversations it feels to me like an topic I can't avoid. And then there are my thoughts. Often I have to tell myself, that myy person and character ist not what I think in the first moment. And with this the discussion in my head starts. 

It's this discussion that's constantly in my head. Arguing about my feelings and thoughts. Are they real and are they mine? Do I imagine or even wish to think like I do it? Am I really sad/lonely or do I want to feel like that? 

If I try to change the view on my life, there is no real point to why I should/could think like that. It's more like the opposite. I finished school with acceptable grades, I study and live pretty independently. I love my friends and they do the best for me and I got a good relation to my parents. Nonetheless I find myself way to  often in my bed and sleeping half the day or just arguing with myself. 

When I am out with other people I try to be nice and polite. I try to follow them with their conversations and to remember personal information (e.g. Things they like). But after conversations the disscussion starts. Did I talk to much/less? Were my words appropriate? I would really love to hear and learn more about the people surrounding me, but these thoughts take my energy and often I can't remeber what people said. Even worse to me ist the fact, that I can't cheer up people. Even though it is kind of my job (social work).   
Well. It seems like I missed so much, but I don't know how to write it down. (Because of the language barrier and the confusion in my head itself)  


But thanks to everyone who's read the text. I don't even know what I hope to get with writing this. Just letting it out helped in this moment. ",2.4417841409691654,4.308815942731279,3.755442731277533,88.3535165198238,76.79735682819383,7.6237004405286335,21.9226872246696,8.472884824447931,1.1775437885462563,1754,48,376,35,40,574,194,454,0.08199999999999999,0.7509999999999999,0.166,0.9929,2,3,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,6,4,32,31,5,3,17,0,28,8,5,2,3,91,66,37,0,7,18,1,3,7,1,2,1,3,1,2,36,26,0,3,21,1,0,2,10,10,2,3,7,7,69,21,56,55,7,43,0,1,1,2,33,19,0,12,24,275,105,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04671358905027792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041958027625881,0.0,0.0,0.08511984360869353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810655112158811,0.06601088148591297,0.0,0.08281096305836297,0.0,0.06118367392329506,0.0,0.0,0.049420700664349566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303684594335043,0.0,0.0,0.0732242714034373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624091459897505,0.10949050353802817,0.0,0.0,0.07003940975431691,0.13036469810764106,0.0,0.0,0.05920497464383868,0.0,0.04003657128035332,0.0,0.0,0.06427450583751106,0.06128886711577651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269719501415468,0.2359367578656008,0.0,0.0863687853444654,0.0,0.051364190953722216,0.0,0.0,0.07611194333675736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604451267554499,0.06811321606244722,0.0,0.07979946717024852,0.08422886406878008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836046105955133,0.05412679103982259,0.2620664903564789,0.0,0.06766663881734752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832506522827714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737553570735364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899796135427114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508973463606681,0.0,0.0,0.21250534093757675,0.1338225891724413,0.0,0.0,0.1448822611322932,0.0,0.07339138234196996,0.0779613476273117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665180752502143,0.17444586882997273,0.14727547721097928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680806405401761,0.0,0.07289369597423645,0.060940102664926665,0.0,0.07755473404755853,0.0,0.06976204812924397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668641211149281,0.0781157255572909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578220906430346,0.21695946325159585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761702783766254,0.12318630277648265,0.06697893289157594,0.07055159361071353,0.0,0.0,0.05091027788886867,0.2455104773666026,0.15057927453149564,0.18250952958395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608239914421462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04519899056934957,0.18247852961455047,0.0,0.0,0.1378010700274229,0.0,0.13829524307386612,0.0,0.08812194872089672,0.0,0.0,0.055788331681982384,0.0,0.07809360717593679,0.05443651352431501,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pikapig123,2019/04/07,"Day After Day Every day, many of the same thoughts go through my mind, such as: ""Am I good enough?"" ""Will I ever find love?"" ""Do I annoy the people around me?"" Etc. I am feeling exhausted every day, despite getting a good amount of sleep at night. I also have trouble staying still and always have to be moving in some way, if that is randoming flailing my hand, beating on something with my hands as if they were drums, or just randomly moving my toes up and down. I am too scared to let people know how I feel, but I think I am getting better at this, though when it comes to my love life, no matter who i am interested in, I cannot gather up anger courage to actually ask them out or let them know how I feel about them before I start to get too nervous and start hyperventilating.",6.616538461538461,5.522859243589746,6.991923076923076,79.66557692307694,65.53846153846155,9.338461538461539,31.679487179487186,8.07648339933343,2.0891179487179485,606,19,125,6,8,198,104,156,0.08800000000000001,0.732,0.18,0.9551,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,4,2,13,13,2,2,3,0,15,8,4,2,1,30,32,15,0,2,6,0,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,8,1,0,4,2,6,0,0,2,5,23,7,23,26,5,27,0,0,0,2,9,10,0,7,11,92,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.13148846756953195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775289298315564,0.11211589267553627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994868454571828,0.12596530558698946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146552669462298,0.0,0.0,0.11916808859807088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606804820061208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475890118535606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922420021986634,0.15027261868091132,0.0,0.12188158647919672,0.2270513960189584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20438836408261404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231514775187681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21119093915509854,0.0,0.07657681620002782,0.2260298991223379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810103477718706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755650452334328,0.09517205118212636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432192992559071,0.0,0.0,0.13660694054563174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605071172918445,0.0,0.0,0.28641821755427643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644596269501748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18682586567256948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489995280519407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483901406752508,0.0,0.0,0.10373074756204907,0.0,0.0,0.1907417449321527,0.1436167298095888,0.10760489984120768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633704407302384,0.13238304125710398,0.10696986314971724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695169389306597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mea_633,2019/04/07,"Should I mention an assumed diagnosis​ to a new psychiatrist during the first session? I'm planning to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist that was recommended to me in an intervention centre where I went for support during a particularly difficult period in my life - I have no written note or recommendation from the centre. The psychologist in the centre briefly suggested I might have some type of personality disorder and recommended I see a psychiatrist and a therapist.  

  

I am struggling in a number of areas of my life and during my previous attempts at therapy it was very difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly I needed helping with, because I always felt like I had to pick one (feeling depressed/anxiety and panic attacks/self-harm/inability to maintain relationships/the list could go on). However, after having done some research, I think it's likely I have a borderline personality disorder.  

  

My question is - is it OK to tell the new psychiatrist I think I might have BPD, despite never being officially diagnosed? I don't want to sound like I'm self-diagnosing or looking for quick answers, but since I find myself meeting most of the symptoms I thought it might give them a rough idea about what I'm struggling with. Or should I just prepare a laundry list of my issues and cite that?  

  

Thank you all for your advice and shared experiences in advance.",9.51637767969735,9.540011274590167,10.01032786885246,56.723575031525876,59.20491803278689,12.917528373266075,43.769230769230774,12.230961643895464,5.911453089533419,1117,61,165,33,13,378,143,244,0.08,0.833,0.08800000000000001,0.2029,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,1,4,4,12,0,3,18,1,20,4,0,1,3,39,38,10,0,5,5,0,3,3,0,5,4,1,0,2,8,9,0,0,10,0,0,3,3,5,0,2,8,6,28,7,30,23,4,20,0,0,2,0,13,9,0,11,11,125,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693585699671866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995713804270513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154387026597796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294705006472169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071465683536722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554325872975623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24291616675040625,0.0,0.0,0.2742943312472959,0.0,0.0,0.12245947427621905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705593648078598,0.0,0.0,0.060506532033566235,0.0,0.11489775939900962,0.0,0.1093722069685698,0.101787513578705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479416487897336,0.06800872843078297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020934133325403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508791702482625,0.0,0.12489981513638845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690467299172842,0.17538772930027152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048898060259027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3808389304379332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873053950355686,0.09229350178841134,0.23114759918495176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810885197584959,0.0,0.0,0.1404018193792007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20897480391938927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340528789747481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535800442285262,0.0,0.24967467544702976,0.0,0.0,0.0989886358380145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502009723458046,0.0,0.0,0.13579512525685147,0.0,0.12437839629658595,0.0,0.0,0.10459302464781084,0.1101720235139158,0.13684806319760714,0.138941005778093,0.0,0.15335379231597476,0.0,0.09500113394926564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873666728529022,0.07058188195277644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109312268071527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rpckero,2019/04/07,"Please help me find a name for my disorder I feel like everything has to be in its most extreme form for me to feel it. This gies for sex, my relationship, studying, etc. When I'm having sex for instance, i can't enjoy it as much as my partner because i feel that the joy is not enough. I really need to know what my problem is and I'm going to talk to a professional soon. But before I do i need a name for it. I would appreciate it if anyone could tell me what's wrong with me (21 F). ",1.9090714285714296,2.8883963238095305,4.250654761904766,87.96455357142858,76.23809523809524,7.5357142857142865,23.60119047619048,8.07648339933343,1.0434047619047615,374,11,88,6,8,131,69,105,0.104,0.765,0.131,0.4352,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,0,0,18,18,6,0,6,3,0,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,3,15,3,14,15,5,4,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,2,3,62,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520494304058738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255840870582178,0.0,0.1850379919308856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361993841489312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492220044190202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22468890547304032,0.2425195487613477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543432461462626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329854994639034,0.1553497302656283,0.0,0.0,0.1987497191392111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358455634453168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575534776313395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195074539877388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062374159610468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15985427571934674,0.32247991138133303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387000356784512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080748458140255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930709312776718,0.0,0.0,0.23346504149382266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747819061047606,0.19006505262023987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544736286588798,0.23775265303894205,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Swagmagdude,2019/04/07,"Can I be allergic to the Generic Bupropion but not the Name Brand Wellbutrin? About 10 years ago my Doctor gave me samples of the name brand Wellbutrin XL. It worked beautifully for me and I considered it a miracle drug for my depression symptoms. After about 3 weeks I ran out of the name brand samples and was given the generic Bupropion XL when it came time to get a prescription filled. 

After about a week or two on the generic, I came down with a strong allergic reaction (hives itching redness). For years I tried to find an alternative to Wellbutrin with no luck.

Any progress I've made battling my depression without medication has been shortlived. In the past couple of years, my depression has gotten progressively harder to manage. I visited an allergy specialist who said that my allergic reaction could be due to  the inactive ingredients in the generic pills, but of course there could still be a risk taking the name brand Wellbutrin. 

Has anyone ever had experience being allergic to the generic but fine taking name brand Wellbutrin? If so, please share your experience...Thanks!",7.137299107142859,9.14422836979167,6.966904761904763,69.54000000000002,64.78125,10.69404761904762,36.63095238095238,10.7630783206399,4.5936014880952385,885,44,136,25,14,280,110,192,0.15,0.7090000000000001,0.141,0.2974,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,4,8,9,1,1,18,0,13,10,1,2,1,26,24,9,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,5,0,1,11,4,14,4,27,7,0,24,0,3,1,0,11,5,0,3,14,92,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682153032605288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049629616859788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792476826949354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530694473032112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464710531354575,0.17078480032022125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988230280365031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798326686771955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899643231129142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13961797115249522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509834410284309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107265857207482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064124998257424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460492411818113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554908959190852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734407513575348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694294149458484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682173251176306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232637204345971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604282433427788,0.2321032494303484,0.0,0.0,0.14210429402635724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090002442255323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479318753456007,0.0,0.15077704630459968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476197381615493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878742252226562,0.0,0.11236828373175832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29818807740412423
mentalhealth,francinoman,2019/04/07,"My bf and i recently separated and i had an extremely public meltdown. Need advice, please help My boyfriend (27) needed a break for some space because he didnt know if he wanted to get married. Its very important to hin that he feels progress in the relationship. He brought us to couples therapy where we agreed to a 2 month separation, where i would live at his parents as if everything was normal while i did another level in my apprenticeship program. 
Things went hanky fast, i found out i was pregnant, booked an abortion, and he accused me of trying to trap him. I wasnt, and ended up miscarrying before the appointment came around. Some blowhard at my main contract had spread a rumour that i was going to be removed from my main source of income (turned out to be baseless and he was just messing with people). The job i work at has strict drug testing and one of my presciptions doesnt pass the panel for a particular site we sometimes work at, so my boss and i agreed that i would find a replacement but in the meantime i cannot sleep and have been averaging less than 3 hours a night for weeks on end. My father suffered a minor stroke, and between all of this i ended up having a super public meltdown a month in at my school bbq. Slipped on some gravel, and just immediately began to cry and couldnt stop. 
It hit me all at once - being separated, having all these awful pregnant feelings, my dad being in hospital, and my therapist being on vacation, thinking that on top of it all i might lose my job. My teachers drove me home - all of my classmates got to watch me completely crumble. I spilled out everything to his mom, before calling him and threatening suicide because honestly i dont know how to deal with everything. I know i torpedoed any living chance of getting back together however i dont know how to move past all of this.

I got an apartment lined up, and his parents told me that im absolutely welcome to stay at their place for the remaining weeks in school. 
I feel incredibly stupid and am dreading my return to his parents, and class tomorrow. 

How do i apologize to my ex properly? Hes very hurt and confused and scared. It was an awful thing to do.  How do i apologize to his family? My class? 

My whole life fell apart so fast. My family is a wreck - and im scared to tell my mom how ive been doing because my dad is a mess and we lost my sister to suicide a few years back. 

Please let me know if it gets better from here. I cant deal with all of this much longer. 
What kind of a gameplan does a person even make after such a huge mess?

TL;DR, 
im a huge mess and everything is out of control. Someone please tell me things will be ok eventually . I did book with a therapist but u til then here i am",5.561515151515152,5.903766840148702,6.340672524501523,78.64058409372541,67.40148698884758,9.495189816379408,32.102286808606515,9.41862664789215,2.791981908302354,2152,85,419,40,33,710,267,538,0.14800000000000002,0.76,0.091,-0.9922,8,0,1,0,1,2,53.0,4,0,1,9,18,19,1,4,27,3,45,4,1,8,7,80,74,37,2,10,7,10,4,0,1,4,3,0,1,1,18,34,0,2,11,2,0,9,8,13,0,1,23,5,69,6,70,38,16,71,0,4,1,0,45,36,0,8,24,289,87,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067116643825583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918070588587065,0.07583479085336965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438095211272526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112206474211054,0.0,0.13225848551608227,0.0,0.1230795532054953,0.0,0.0,0.0639619770275444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384774572783895,0.08271586646466403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582710911306231,0.0,0.08111406184059733,0.0,0.0800217228954959,0.07944113516910445,0.0,0.14911938673516129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328852483479804,0.0,0.169519160263546,0.0,0.08386930733203317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192164608557037,0.0,0.0,0.047767285872507864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599895200286268,0.0,0.13635545477815625,0.0,0.10970289111745618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610001107369537,0.0,0.0,0.0792961563915206,0.0,0.0,0.11335408797420805,0.0,0.041101645719506495,0.0,0.11568329342745134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048475188508041056,0.0,0.07254377988378043,0.0,0.07122153868848566,0.0,0.07742104110257912,0.0,0.23435701320633945,0.0,0.1435347084614024,0.0,0.0,0.07531110959003058,0.1987284325782024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395304103711364,0.051082404886990784,0.0,0.0,0.12772139544967356,0.0,0.0,0.080908610991815,0.07894682781661108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04827477597154907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672106780130397,0.0,0.16940277588000102,0.1154517374188645,0.07686569310206008,0.05316419787152165,0.10725009225507387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786828467478978,0.07085914684101911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701941996382539,0.04900652736692448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409114706176611,0.0,0.06903850183797854,0.05013822017656089,0.06314783817594742,0.0755599691313653,0.23815995921864325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140818406876494,0.07764560319832853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481171568413198,0.14638526501988833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237314973887557,0.0,0.061277281194363625,0.0,0.07152723955141535,0.0,0.0,0.07708447857911414,0.0,0.060463527800156326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821469759115567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264233442676775,0.0,0.08270527534819737,0.16794032551910593,0.14414041797425542,0.046340325624004634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691057387206516,0.0,0.04910115770550464,0.07866439395824712,0.0,0.0,0.08699316264330133,0.0,0.0,0.11934466683684955,0.042656752643032,0.0,0.1160229600846547,0.0,0.0,0.06704221779559186,0.0,0.08074372493677344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530098282944876,0.0,0.0,0.10274941377697176,0.0,0.0,0.04657230162565831
mentalhealth,franke-the-tank,2019/04/07,"Feeling helpless and ruining my life. I am a failing person. I am getting close to losing everything and everyone I care about and have worked for. I am a failing person. For the past 10 years I’ve been on a slow decline drugs, alcohol, self destructive behavior in which until recently my last two years have gone on a quick downward spiral. I have pushed my wife to the brink and I’m worried I’m gonna fail and let everyone down (in which I think I already have. I have autism accompanied with insomnia. I mention those things because I think that might be the root of my problems. Lately I’ve been pushing my loved ones away and have been acting out such as being verbally angry and saying terrible things when in the past I would never do. I know this is unorganized but I don’t know where to start. I’ve lost interest in my hobbies, never see or maybe have any friends anymore, my mother hates me and my father and sister is disappointed in me. I have a 18 month old daughter that is my world and I don’t want to lose her or my wife. I keep trying to make promises to get better and I am for a couple of months then start on a tirade of self destructive behavior. I think I’ve lost control and I don’t see a good way this is going to end. I need a change, I need to be a better person. I’ve become a toxic person that I can’t believe I am becoming. I feel as if nobody understands me and it’s killing me. If I lose my wife and child then I don’t think I’ll last. I don’t know what is going on.",1.9246978021978047,3.7441339423076947,3.808278388278392,87.60576923076925,78.16666666666667,6.8930402930402925,23.96336996336997,7.83500028581142,1.2300408424908422,1178,40,248,19,28,398,153,312,0.174,0.7290000000000001,0.097,-0.9692,0,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,12,7,25,4,0,15,0,34,5,0,3,2,44,66,25,1,7,5,7,2,0,1,3,4,1,0,7,12,17,1,2,10,0,0,6,8,17,0,2,6,5,43,8,31,53,0,46,0,11,2,1,19,17,0,5,22,164,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008162128096242,0.0,0.0,0.10410183084915688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415153561606489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355570167291637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863152962655199,0.0,0.0,0.05750618927539852,0.20837281839282384,0.0,0.10628407042002336,0.0,0.16686458534688428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618157033782296,0.0,0.0997947005671076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580554982692374,0.0,0.10438069795708467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939950453113284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355346206024801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028367746897264,0.08478287701189631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539796552247326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288355588026696,0.0,0.09857305733918063,0.0,0.10722634585085616,0.07912433990666852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313700924013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384993691722993,0.10436851524932172,0.0,0.15553336078644542,0.15379243186732916,0.10641481955805797,0.0,0.0,0.09646468184125204,0.06663212041052677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31661267642636265,0.20595719989076808,0.0,0.08514168515276851,0.0,0.06296983653067302,0.0,0.094772926730357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007530849555944,0.0,0.0,0.1505957694497158,0.0,0.0,0.13989750633295153,0.14551507094597316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989894863016217,0.0,0.06392433636667512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18010826928009782,0.0,0.3294813050648492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902665593503402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314515887991698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501956389049158,0.0,0.0,0.15034673633545173,0.0,0.19682549370799388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354263943845815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12534494291112494,0.24178612292610044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404777260912907,0.0,0.09215230687785247,0.09820682845014216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564166144332055,0.07487931653332842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867753958296435,0.09580251941085784,0.0,0.0670134004658207,0.0,0.0,0.12149824255852665
mentalhealth,restlessthrowaway111,2019/04/07,"Trauma release exercises (TRE’s) Has anyone ever tried these for trauma, anxiety or other problems? They help me a little if I am feeling panic, and I also believe that I saved myself from developing PTSD by doing them directly after a potentially traumatic experience I had last year.

Basically, TRE’s are self-induced neurogenic tremors. You do a series of preliminary exercises and then lie down and allow your body to shake out stress and trauma. (I skip the preliminary exercises though — they don’t seem to be entirely necessary for the technique to work, and I have chronic fatigue anyway.).

There are some videos of people doing them on YouTube if anyone is curious to see.",8.65042857142857,9.324590900000004,9.484047619047619,57.600000000000016,60.83333333333334,12.190476190476188,38.80952380952381,11.765960540728905,5.2559523809523805,548,26,78,16,7,187,89,120,0.202,0.7140000000000001,0.084,-0.9367,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,4,1,5,9,0,3,5,0,12,6,1,1,1,16,15,11,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,8,0,0,1,2,14,1,14,13,1,10,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,5,5,63,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779000727672196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701802303581777,0.0,0.0,0.3110964698251597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25063467835087183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24710136978748856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012265518200314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21760721037043396,0.0,0.0,0.11248175907058654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491093193384886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133346107999926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22296197260564246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610072514438975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15422479238281125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128628493357944,0.260042214516525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772707130693414,0.20251796668193475,0.2320728502013639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548255900452616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21856445818550985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103479593452435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195252002752336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325605344013806
mentalhealth,VaLeLaaa,2019/04/07,"How did you beat anxiety? Hey, guys!

I've been diagnosed with anxiety a bit over three years ago. I've had it under control and without medication until last week, when my aunt, who also has anxiety as of recently, moved in with my family. She keeps wanting to talk about it and wants to hear about my experiences , which I have shared more than once, but I can't anymore, because thinking/talking about it makes me have attacks and need medication (still in moderation). I beat it three years ago by focusing on family and work and ignoring ""the issue"". I am still on that same path, but thinking it away does not help now. How did you guys do it? Any advice is very much appreciated. 

TLDR: How did you beat anxiety? ",4.180568181818181,6.060492551470588,5.4568181818181785,77.96090909090908,72.01470588235293,9.3572192513369,28.540106951871657,9.800150414767053,2.8758029411764707,561,22,106,15,11,187,92,136,0.121,0.8320000000000001,0.046,-0.8249,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,0,5,11,3,1,0,2,0,12,3,0,5,0,23,19,14,0,3,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,9,7,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,2,5,1,12,1,20,14,4,20,0,0,0,0,13,7,0,0,12,76,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314636856220191,0.23851003979688096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758566009521607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914867715236858,0.0,0.411668238993866,0.0,0.13342017492633226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530502378692169,0.126397792708622,0.0,0.0,0.08200981549253418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687473983580138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15088973428298885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654774249047275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773037225347625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315986834913512,0.2536506972113504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664168218444969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162800149631744,0.0,0.09017435629928316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041706669836293,0.0,0.11957874347595605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096620130851158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980154554745959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710548528826967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298684771131426,0.09889692993018373,0.0997542075626561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327281299030012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13283469814322585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148757932783422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21626439259534244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620304866170106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100347250821048,0.15870160920632995,0.0,0.10791392528402106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968461170728335,0.0,0.09794132458868422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326914859849024
mentalhealth,joshuala96,2019/04/07,"Today is my 4th day on Seroquel I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder on Christmas day 2017. I was initially prescribed Zyprexa after that diagnosis, and I took the medication for about four months before I stopped. I quit because the effects of the medication we're numbing my mind to the point that I couldn't have an original thought. I began to take cannabis to help me go to sleep and relieve anxiety. It seemed everything was going well. I had a good job at the airport, my roommates were living in harmony, and I was having decent conversations with people. 

Then on December 2018, I stopped taking cannabis because I was offered a job that required me to take a drug test. Unfortunately, I was unable to sleep properly for a month. I believe I was in a manic phase at this point because I thought I could take on a high stress customer service position. Taking on this position plus not sleeping caused me to have major anxiety attacks during job training. I quit the job and started taking Zyprexa again. I was really down in the dumps at this point and decided mixing alcohol with the Zyprexa to help me get to sleep. It got to the point where I didn't want to do anything anymore, and I lost my will to live. Luckily, my family intervened and got me to go to a new psychiatrist. The psychiatrist put me on Latuda. It made me manic, so I was put on Seroquel.

It is now my fourth day on 25 mg of Seroquel. My question is: have I totally fucked up my brain chemistry? What is your take on psychiatric medication?  What should I do to become a functional adult again? 


TLDR: I'm bipolar and have been on and off psych meds for a year and a half. I'm currently on Seroquel. Is my brain chemistry destroyed beyond repair?",4.932103658536583,6.664539076219512,5.859726829268298,76.41941951219516,69.82317073170732,9.028487804878047,34.156585365853665,9.490545024520769,3.4533286341463416,1379,69,243,31,25,454,163,328,0.115,0.8270000000000001,0.058,-0.9353,5,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,5,8,10,4,1,21,0,29,16,6,4,1,33,54,13,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,1,12,14,1,3,6,0,0,6,3,7,1,2,21,0,40,3,47,29,2,52,0,1,0,1,7,27,1,2,19,170,52,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577349048723643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279730210008374,0.0,0.07959631555116868,0.0,0.0,0.06604710992020947,0.0,0.0,0.09130729318370344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467771831922973,0.08864082203705496,0.06829531601536598,0.0904254925775824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791933217300364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244908933110673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640810486369871,0.0,0.0,0.15528310674428406,0.0,0.0,0.08146217170733383,0.0,0.0,0.09198486955120763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307607476715013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213247841984208,0.0,0.0756619489749443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419904133697862,0.041932517401471386,0.0,0.1368407575454205,0.06731824799954805,0.12838244658127912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759312109408234,0.0847990561561488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185825108473737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174203329443874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761322922815759,0.0,0.0,0.07594391640322261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915072418010933,0.24256040303094326,0.0,0.0,0.08103968181433507,0.0,0.12812547147258185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751557118011798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055642151798993365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034864246267591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136685899807046,0.08990952550411188,0.17073269740924255,0.0,0.0,0.051416586664518635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306565481488436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32127169809863915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680841401543683,0.0,0.0,0.13420184363591506,0.0919375150032414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42241851927180507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274348889939176,0.0,0.0,0.07607705917866346,0.0,0.08917177064028715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047339404898247485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216334443831145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051684783934449086
mentalhealth,Taarguss,2019/04/07,"I’ve been TERRIBLE about taking my Zoloft Hey all! This is being written in the midst of a mild panic attack so if I sound nuts, please forgive me.

I’m currently in a pretty bad spot, but slowly getting out of it over the course of the last 7 days or so. I’ve been on Zoloft from when I was about 17 till now, and I’m 27 (yikes!). It has always helped. I know how I feel when I’m on Zoloft and I know how I feel when I’m off Zoloft and it’s way worse. Here’s the thing. Over the last 4 years or so, I’ve been very inconsistent about taking my pills. I moved out across the country from where I grew up after graduating college and have been on my own with no one to remind me to take my pills. So what that’s looked like is maybe taking 4 pills a week? Sometimes only 1 or two? It’s bad. And I just realized how bad I’ve been about it. I went through a scary time a little while ago where my insurance wasn’t going to pay for my Zoloft refills so i started strategically stockpiling my pills without any guidance from a psychiatrist (because he would just refill it and I was too ashamed to tell him about any of this). I think I might have wrecked some havoc on my already pretty “off” brain.

I went through and am still going through a pretty intense bout of health anxiety and dissociation and intrusive thoughts of suicide this week and my new psychiatrist put me on Rexulti, an anti psychotic and I’ve been consistent about my Zoloft usage for about 4 weeks now which is good. I’ve been feeling MUCH better, but in the last 4 days I’ve been waking up with anxiety and nothing to feel anxious about. Just the feeling in my stomach. And I can’t seem to stop moving when I lay down. I also woke up screaming from a nightmare the other night. It tends to go away once I start moving around but it’s scared me a lot. 

I’m just asking if this is normal when you’re starting to take Zoloft consistently. Has anyone else gone through this kind of thing and gotten better? Please tell me you have. 
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mentalhealth,SpeedLimitsSuck89,2019/04/07,"is this my ADHD mood swings, or something else...? Hey guys. In retrospect, I've been dealing with these weird feelings since around December/January, but I've only really started considering that I might have a real issue in the past month or so. If anyone else has experienced these same feelings and it led to dysthymia, major depression, any type of anxiety, etc. please lmk your thoughts.

\-**Lack of social interest:** Decreased desire to socialize, this has led me to be far less outgoing and motivated to meet with new ppl than I used to be.  Almost feels like I just don’t have the energy to socialize with new people.  
\-**Decreasing social skills:** Due to less frequent and less enthusiastic socializing, I feel that my social skills have decreased because It's harder for me to genuinely be interested in conversations.  Harder for me to be as clever, enthusiastic and charismatic as I once felt.  Ofc, this leads to a negative spiral of not wanting to socialize, and even worse social skills.  
\-**Decreased libido:** Additionally, decreased libido/interest in talking w girls.  Libido's Still there, and can get intense at times. It's just consistently far less than what It used to be…no idea why.  
\-**Always feeling discontent:** Persistent feeling or mild discontent and inability to just enjoy stuff as much as I felt like I used to.  For example, watching TV shows, listening to music, movies all feel more “bland” now and harder to really enjoy.  
Because of this, I often find myself not looking forward to things I believe I used to.  For example, seeing friends, parties, the weekend, going home after school, etc. because I know I’ll feel discontent and sorta uneasy/unsatisfied that whole time  
\-**Exhaustion/sleep craving:** I find myself just craving sleep far more often than I have in the past, and getting up earlier seems to have gotten even more difficult. I literally fantasize so often about being able to sleep in.  
\-**Sleep difficulties:** Unfortunately…sometimes, I have trouble sleeping.  I’ll frequently have random (not really disturbing thoughts, just random and racing) when I go to bed at like 11:30 on weeknights.  Then before I know it, it’s 12:45 and I’m still wide awake cuz of these random thoughts.  
\-**Adderall not as effective:** Adderall doesn’t seem to provide the motivational boost, slight wellbeing and focus enhancement that it did last year.  It can actually amplify bad moods and anxious thoughts, with less effectiveness at blocking out negative distractions  
\-**IBS:** In October, I was diagnosed w/ IBS, which I know is potentially linked to anxiety/depression\\

All input is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much guys.",5.039889135254988,8.51702403104213,5.478066518847008,70.3927095343681,78.0909090909091,8.867583148558758,31.481596452328162,9.243218698107313,3.9854856762749447,2142,105,308,63,55,683,249,451,0.102,0.752,0.146,0.9623,0,1,1,0,0,0,126.0,0,1,0,9,20,20,0,2,7,0,25,5,4,12,2,87,60,30,0,4,14,0,10,3,1,1,1,1,2,3,23,21,0,1,27,3,0,6,8,7,0,0,10,15,27,11,60,44,18,44,0,1,3,0,19,19,0,15,24,204,50,5,0.06681900415140757,0.0,0.06520570929454607,0.0,0.08030345808957425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690958067248252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05559876421279041,0.0,0.0,0.045439214144242714,0.0,0.05111635528416978,0.07548645541772253,0.0,0.04672140132189484,0.06846396605770562,0.0,0.059483080146289974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055791077434757336,0.12219673421737212,0.0,0.05685805108064695,0.07528213611036015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06888745926747472,0.11510222072952285,0.067819882684691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116374078823186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904170486976126,0.0882666441139357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27028556948309235,0.04773550991683389,0.1283134452089596,0.0,0.1221427185321208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05162419685567112,0.0,0.06982034363283562,0.0,0.07594955980759972,0.0,0.0,0.0736681879687337,0.0,0.1323226387575223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702490925244982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543052244980042,0.0,0.0697416802117827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016593164106972,0.054466406597081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793317081032744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611113469095992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088440408497604,0.0,0.0,0.053334291623169036,0.0,0.09823931268888084,0.0,0.0,0.12906842116999767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116005868486465,0.0,0.050818863636789634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757260038086846,0.04632388418134655,0.0,0.0,0.0733472011878889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605465526598522,0.12841789517333616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762439949760263,0.05324609522304094,0.12165902366630553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055273370722580914,0.0,0.3343363001854455,0.5449084801339861,0.0,0.05144053387693606,0.06608570366325417,0.0,0.04729483505389323,0.0,0.10672348605788093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649177344668083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053706584478009335,0.0,0.061517961606285664,0.0,0.0,0.04439157728759178,0.0,0.0,0.2121873021641047,0.07792539732976618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308406632401745,0.0,0.0,0.03941157986920196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029375821539289,0.07460103189084039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809427373751206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04302924792640128
mentalhealth,miscellaneouscells,2019/04/07,"Do Affirmations and Daily Journaling Actually Help? I don't really know how to phrase this without sounding dramatic, so if I do, please excuse it. This year, I've been struggling quite a bit mentally. I kinda dislike who I am, and I've been dealing a lot with isolation as a result of not feeling like I really belong anywhere. This is beginning to affect my relationships with other people as well as my ability to function as a normal human being in social situations(?), and my worst fear is that this is going to continue for like the rest of my life (which I know is irrational, but I'm just afraid that I'm never going to be able to find people that will like me for who I truly am). Sometimes my brain keeps running and running and running and overanalyzing everything I did wrong, and every possible bad thought people might be thinking about me as a result of my actions. 

I want to be able to change my life and my mentality in order to be a better person, so if anyone has any advice about how to do that, that'd be much appreciated. Also, I've been watching some vloggers who said that affirmations and journaling really helped them, and I was wondering if those things actually work. 

​

Thank you :) ",8.908936758893283,7.607349221739131,9.597588932806328,63.49401185770754,61.1304347826087,12.537549407114625,37.865612648221344,11.567385478589935,4.52195652173913,971,39,163,24,11,332,129,230,0.114,0.765,0.121,0.5542,0,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,1,3,9,12,0,3,7,0,25,3,1,5,1,39,40,24,0,5,7,0,1,3,0,2,2,2,0,2,18,12,0,1,7,0,0,6,4,6,1,0,7,4,22,6,27,24,6,13,0,0,1,0,14,2,0,8,7,126,40,1,0.2412006925266821,0.0,0.23537708228784965,0.0,0.0,0.11784926259258174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09644405333508883,0.0,0.13067042479003754,0.14654262107566404,0.0820123710211616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432656620504787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069625165006103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666120578674004,0.1316643429037361,0.0,0.0,0.13462987135906446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757917531136714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433366145407075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161099317714814,0.0,0.10838781486627293,0.0,0.0,0.13570891843832986,0.060979158705702224,0.08615691146761945,0.0,0.0,0.11022653162520436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137079912035054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167173990824604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719512901004942,0.0,0.0,0.13255759266960676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036718228351722,0.17675771227643494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102530101683898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24307356705856614,0.1279379090707178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865513095724645,0.0,0.09301442181380357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181627334600375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25082728529779874,0.1053035705849424,0.0,0.1323829645928658,0.0,0.1359587698769151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827331324111246,0.0,0.0,0.23177900989396186,0.0,0.0,0.12947963846717936,0.0,0.0,0.11471854649784476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555984215642486,0.0,0.12293686545574865,0.0,0.0,0.11927682619731335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607766705693796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103259567176124,0.0,0.0,0.08012151123845594,0.07727583225699833,0.0,0.09574320374369176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07113320887334644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843419481007636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162544301644683,0.13078593105625036,0.08779848842290397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131857546479435,0.14654262107566404,0.077662668955922
mentalhealth,Doggorina,2019/04/07,"Having motivational problems, pls help So I m have my GCSES (sort of like final exams in England) coming up very very soon but every weekend I just feel so demotivated for studying for them and I end up wasting my whole day doing jack and feel really bad about myself at the end, and I feel totally helpless towards it as well because even when I sit down to do work I just feel so distracted, and it just kills me because I haven't had a productive weekend in months. I don't know how to tackle this, I just feel it is very frustrating that it had to happen now out of all time, when my GCSES are so close. And I don't just want to pass, I want to get really good grades so I can take the subjects I want next year, so I can get into the uni I want and follow the career path I have chosen, but it feels as if my mind doesn't want me to do that. So does anyone have any advice on how to tackle this? People trying to give me advice might be motivating in a way, right?",5.314760412001792,4.464355729064042,6.6043170622480964,80.58245409762654,68.064039408867,9.155217196596508,27.32154052843708,8.296473431620573,1.6089743842364532,755,18,162,9,11,258,112,203,0.165,0.76,0.075,-0.96,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,21,9,2,1,6,0,19,0,0,4,2,40,38,22,1,7,8,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,0,9,2,0,3,4,6,1,0,2,6,25,3,26,34,3,32,0,1,0,0,3,13,0,3,15,117,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593682676256238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024836527474192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279496074164444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108085522654522,0.16179938719923548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431919908152012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558793324403145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613672077511528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350859817015585,0.0,0.0,0.08765468868236828,0.0,0.11181515561614952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4026175066392363,0.0,0.0,0.14537895234784967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867255397026998,0.1273089557081924,0.0,0.11131210284281404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735633388600834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895371549541993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682560280044996,0.0,0.0729347651715879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648361313625694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078592054510414,0.13400077489430134,0.0,0.10592904658953556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411401770767194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200543845833006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269869745456825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003675979998126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333488884853007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978252566230113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738513808878443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901023915008951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285026381467228,0.3913833814114351,0.10534020495575742,0.0,0.0,0.1193235691108994,0.0,0.0,0.1481676411608954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09661554659498746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546184958287452
mentalhealth,mutaheda,2019/04/07,"Girlfriend may have Dermatophagia. Hi there, 

My girlfriend(18f) and I(19m) have been dating for almost 3 years. Over the past year, I've notice her increasingly biting her nails. At first I thought that this was just a harmless bad habit, but for the past few months she's been biting the skin around her nails to the point where they're bloody and hurt. I think this may be Dermatophagia, which from wikipedia is "" a compulsion disorder of gnawing or biting one's own skin, most commonly at the fingers. ""

I've been trying to support her in anyway possible. I've done some research and introduced her to subreddits like r/calmhands . She has tried to paint her nails and stop, but every time a stressful event in her life happens, her hands get destroyed. Recently, she's started biting her lips in addition to her hands, and she's leaving abrasions on her lips as well. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but I've tried to get her to seek therapy. However, she always refuses and often seems to regress into joking about it in order to mitigate my concern. Her mom scolds her about it, but doesn't seem willing to do anything to help her. They have the money for therapy, and she could even get it for free through her University, so cost isn't really a factor.

 How should I approach this? From what I've researched, if left untended, this particular affliction can have terrible long term effects.  I really love her, and I really want to help her, but I'm unsure on how to do so. 

TLDR: Girlfriend has a destructive skin biting habit, and doesn't want to seek therapy for it. ",6.6630380214101175,7.062721152823922,6.45591915836102,78.56094776670359,65.04651162790697,10.144038390550019,32.66906607604282,9.994966539143718,3.107699741602066,1261,48,235,26,18,396,162,301,0.117,0.775,0.108,-0.7254,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,1,2,14,13,2,1,12,0,27,10,8,3,0,41,42,22,0,6,9,1,6,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,13,12,0,2,6,1,3,2,4,6,1,2,6,6,33,8,38,30,6,33,0,1,0,1,33,15,0,11,16,157,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562485047792654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043884354197096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323860289332124,0.11168136123766488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474950956651648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016544162513348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378205846196038,0.0,0.0,0.1283838073469325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286170573448103,0.0,0.10570107156383383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671178045510724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19663484977121576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11093925665263332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16817940279452218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343019476262795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894667176745377,0.0,0.0,0.1328385085795994,0.1363069966275466,0.0,0.08861242845684877,0.06129087352526352,0.0,0.0,0.11102354149456264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322784623710275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469311340300767,0.10013681662874707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14283111015091074,0.0,0.0,0.08501141263468841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23952158550169944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185953273103357,0.14143142602135875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24110865316594496,0.0,0.12387147034337047,0.0,0.0,0.10713770535706707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284186584904973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879754621548573,0.0,0.0,0.10488582210044932,0.14370803830606582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236460921189628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4304054582596129,0.0,0.08334658808475433,0.0803863639174504,0.0,0.09959708998237274,0.0731536970460413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25552670243030473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799297136242712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112798922903986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615775433832571
mentalhealth,juposada93,2019/04/07,"Doing a PhD means being lonley I'm on my 3 year as a phd student, and I've been loving the work I do, but it feels like the loneliest time of my life. 
I recently moved to a new city (phd related) and I haven't been able to fit in. I find myself spending most of my weekends alone trying to find something worth watching on Netflix.
 I don't consider myself an introvert, I enjoy being with people, so this situation has been taking a toll on me. The worst part is that I feel like as time goes by, I loose more and more the capacity to make new friends or interact with others.
I never thought I would ever feel this sad.

Thanks for reading, kind stranger. This made me feel a bit better. ",3.6025714285714305,4.597248400000002,4.957142857142858,84.45785714285716,72.14285714285714,7.6,26.857142857142854,7.908726449838941,1.5315857142857143,536,18,110,7,10,179,92,140,0.128,0.652,0.219,0.9282,0,1,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,2,10,0,0,10,0,12,2,0,2,2,21,24,8,0,1,2,0,4,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,8,3,2,1,3,2,0,0,5,5,17,8,16,16,6,15,0,1,1,1,3,5,0,2,11,74,23,6,0.16424476261907034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17010804044464894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14526114532750767,0.1793127417594607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856879097906747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33218834793256635,0.2346729824654384,0.0,0.0,0.3002334749781437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689509617274422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710356456027338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160109331325438,0.16048338938452794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823731080737845,0.1554123656623852,0.10963465442971287,0.0,0.0,0.17891069649425245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456618971595628,0.0,0.0,0.1266756863002643,0.3172572304227898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786107238117818,0.0,0.11386663805581868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428920958442658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217188845052982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18461799476962648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264436425372501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349162097662925,0.0,0.0,0.15121451043985107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130391995201526,0.19154488380914564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115114125089765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957214333236492,0.0,0.0,0.11667476695213345,0.0,0.0,0.10576824215061316
mentalhealth,472974472_foxes,2019/04/07,"Recently started CFT (Compassion focused therapy) My (new) therapist recently suggested switching from CBT which I’ve done most of my life (with little effect) to CFT. 

While it’s too early to say anything objectively, I’m feeling better already - this might just be the rush and fallacy of “doing something for myself” that often tricks my brain for a while, but I’m feeling hopeful.

Does anyone have any experience, tips or advice? I’d really appreciate any insight and support I can get. Thank you.",6.264805194805195,8.572257818181818,7.146948051948055,66.21363636363638,67.4090909090909,10.028571428571428,36.435064935064936,10.290406445055957,4.6227383116883125,400,21,57,11,7,133,72,88,0.013,0.7559999999999999,0.231,0.9625,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,3,5,1,0,2,0,6,2,1,1,0,14,15,6,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,6,4,8,12,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,5,7,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926263461614026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21373157720914293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634191690149531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354261175419893,0.0,0.15938279440712771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129492687893524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21621182509675285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694913718690069,0.1982027012969601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894569852635945,0.0,0.0,0.19586166225266524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119022328223054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19236873424449225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680247572943385,0.0,0.19411904176511835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054647199763508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18705812199318456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407687893334618,0.0,0.3824728451826667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402274466325286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14910494099362545,0.0,0.0,0.1370882659749337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21978667479951575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831525732795694,0.22149087241582355,0.22487833488504855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Daniellew208,2019/04/07,"The struggle is real Over the past couple of years I have been placed face to face with my mental health. I have been in crisis for the past few months and have been terrified to reach out for help. I am trying to accept that it is very possible I have bpd and this is terrifying to me. What if I can't get better, what if I can't move forward, what if I just crawl in on myself, what if what if? I am never been more fearful and just need a little hope. ",1.7244587628865986,3.0961992164948486,3.3717396907216504,92.48482603092786,77.45360824742268,6.087113402061857,18.31056701030928,6.6274283507984215,-0.17759690721649468,352,6,81,3,8,117,59,97,0.158,0.728,0.114,-0.7687,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,2,4,0,15,3,2,0,1,17,18,8,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,4,0,11,3,13,14,2,14,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,6,6,64,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18611450359625306,0.0,0.0,0.26503814599083764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328446356059096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368002293095595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994469315648077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236847843611754,0.0,0.0,0.14105154445153675,0.0,0.0,0.2090115109285001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21091324626461053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21207108965619664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679688761792316,0.223661321617861,0.0,0.156036434521947,0.1623020555175522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017720244348012,0.0,0.0,0.21986196800290106,0.0,0.0,0.2372361982836781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395234770058685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21999453546204695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287296948976394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17363263658685255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551458540222575
mentalhealth,ARISE_UW,2019/04/07,"Recruiting for study on suicidal thoughts and behaviors in Seattle We are now recruiting for a study focused on youth and young adult suicidal thoughts and behaviors. This study is funded by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) and involves participants (16-20 years old) coming to the UW campus (with their parents if under 18) for an initial appointment and evaluation, and then participants filling out surveys administered over cell phones for 14 days. Please go to [ariseuw.com](https://ariseuw.com/) to learn more about the study and fill out a screening survey to determine eligibility. Participants will be compensated up to $125. 

Thanks,

ARISE study team

[arise@uw.edu](mailto:arise@uw.edu)",13.169722222222227,14.513537268518519,10.222592592592594,53.83166666666668,51.314814814814824,14.23703703703704,44.851851851851855,13.295006501635747,6.750618518518517,587,29,75,19,6,172,80,108,0.078,0.855,0.067,-0.4939,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,1,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,6,0,4,1,0,0,0,16,9,9,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,12,0,0,3,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,21,5,1,20,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,1,7,45,3,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21716102994265948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258304714577004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432737134252946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26796952706322164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540565723379473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645355706184859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799261878522131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767290794090815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5515109394168818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23209895683438325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002770101598975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16234353831491954
mentalhealth,Emopedro,2019/04/07,"How do i come clean? I've got an follow up assessment tomorrow which is basically if i need to remain at my local mental health service and i want to be totally honest about everything,the thing is that i'm a minor (m15) and live with my parents meaning that every single thing i say is written up into a report and sent home for my parents to read,along with the fact that i dont want to be sectioned or anything crazy to happen i really fear the consequences of telling them that i have overdosed/poisoned myself with excessive amounts of paracetamol on 5 occasions,attempted to find equipment/search up ways to die as well as using alcohol weed codeine and morphine on a monthly basis to help deal with my problems,ive also self harmed with razor and have constant urges to do it again and again,my social anxiety means i hate being the centre of attention and i feel  embarrassed having my parents read reports about me because of stigma in my culture.                                   Does anybody have any suggestion?",12.102062643239114,8.27753659358289,11.234988540870896,62.094331550802146,57.395721925133685,14.108174178762415,46.50038197097021,11.765960540728905,5.522751566080976,801,37,131,16,7,260,124,187,0.114,0.813,0.07400000000000001,-0.8577,3,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,6,6,1,2,7,0,13,2,0,2,2,28,28,13,1,4,2,3,1,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,8,14,1,0,5,1,0,3,1,4,1,0,3,2,18,2,31,22,4,18,0,0,0,0,13,10,0,2,4,93,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080661177082846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128478130585808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596150714789416,0.0,0.10795086546622552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612376746874277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602102101227634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215561368497508,0.0,0.1524927486437247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548104625910707,0.0,0.0,0.1464527529007703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348871613205055,0.0,0.16538308891992534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889357576989874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879107242726226,0.07135084501458834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289744945882655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286075493600844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478553643347473,0.0,0.0,0.1393196233278018,0.0,0.14999625168411124,0.0,0.0,0.09458490000743,0.0,0.14154759120390406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460514119932592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30742630092744416,0.0,0.0,0.1422084592380338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263484862607555,0.0,0.0,0.10463331411337452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4700670190325211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28230186889053005,0.0,0.09040043933913418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221852052917236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721137101367832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438466751574284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233387609640716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874980780991027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218761062043661,0.0,0.0,0.16646390896297736,0.11200873057422213,0.0,0.0,0.1268773068109245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ItsYaBoiHitler,2019/04/07,"The hell is wrong with me? Hey guys and girls,

For ages now ive being experiencing episodes of extreme rage and dispair that last at max usually a few seconds. My hands tend to go in front of my face and tense up, along with my facial muscles. My hands tense so hard they shake and by the end i feel drained. I never used to mind until i realised that in those moments i wanted to kill, intimately, to tear someone apart in essence. Then over time i began saying ""no"" during these episodes (my theory is my conscience is fighting my sub-conscience over whether i should give in to the urges) then things like laughing (psuedo bulbar affect i think) and murmering things like ""kill them/them all/the liars/usurpers/traitors"" or things like ""i've seen/I've seen it"" 

I cant empathise with anyone, i try but its never easy or particularly genuine and i just feel like a shell inside. Like im just experiencing life, that its not as real as id like it to be.

Whats wrong with me? Please help",3.1840871685461742,5.2343287253886,3.6335019811033256,89.23300822919843,75.21761658031087,5.9919536726607765,24.824443767144164,6.794906146795322,0.7952843035659853,776,26,158,7,17,242,123,193,0.151,0.732,0.117,-0.5696,0,0,0,0,2,0,30.0,0,0,1,0,4,15,5,1,5,0,8,5,4,2,2,29,18,16,2,2,7,0,5,6,0,1,1,1,0,2,13,11,0,0,3,0,0,3,5,8,0,1,2,9,21,7,26,13,1,25,1,0,1,0,8,9,1,2,19,94,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838073934295588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728543178608812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15674695656325288,0.11073319102856134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869168147016992,0.08809099483133682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347597690344178,0.0,0.0,0.13885100952201934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389432115326004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674283521389458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34297266271370896,0.0,0.0,0.12634701120531974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948223084742677,0.4543557837872148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650745406324332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390936156756289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17014523684148636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17642578208240295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326351257215147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313323728643115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089285743303157,0.0993187818532847,0.0,0.0,0.09038269334010568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523592800069996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387163614816502,0.1707123901744401,0.0,0.0914239736832626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389398861715746,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,senpotato,2019/04/07,"help with finding help and living everyday? im so embarrassed to post this but idk what else i could do.. so basically i have been “depressed” since i was 12 stemming from things having to do with my mom and im 18 and ive tried my best to get help. and like .. i wouldnt even call it counselling i felt like i was being interrogated. i was forced to tell my family members names, and my friends names (which im pretty uncomfortable about) and everytime i would make a mistake in what i said they would question me in the most patronising way possible, and i asked them if they could diagnose me and basically refused with the excuse that im too young and “moving around the place”. not trying to self diagnose myself but i do have some problems that cause me to be distant, be reckless, things that trigger me and i really dont know what to do cause id really like to receive help but i dont really have the funds (the service i previously went to was the only free program) and its taking a heavy toll on my school and everyday life so does anyone have any advice 
i bet like 2 people will read this so 
tldr: life is getting worse everyday and i kind of need help but cant afford it and i ",2.413170454545451,4.4429469458333335,4.152045454545455,84.72477272727275,77.45833333333334,7.363636363636362,23.82575757575757,8.296473431620573,1.4731666666666663,937,31,191,18,22,315,130,240,0.134,0.69,0.17600000000000002,0.9077,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,3,1,8,12,0,1,8,0,28,4,0,4,0,46,38,23,0,9,6,1,1,4,1,4,4,1,0,1,14,18,0,1,4,1,3,3,5,4,0,0,8,2,31,9,19,21,3,14,0,1,0,0,21,5,0,5,8,128,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979529929441143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944845416806471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140812532697574,0.0,0.0,0.0909128391217644,0.095473023360994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717381304942096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428097141379464,0.0,0.0,0.209820868693122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16307689267231293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796005225356167,0.20730930774286105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08937021413547132,0.0,0.23937931390191705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531227432923247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745255286388167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096274294778341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980559477817244,0.0,0.09334033554160392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078901467307803,0.0,0.1067121213714451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422609381818746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4412497949472208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634739881218247,0.056125190532345284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14426771599502025,0.19957232837006195,0.0,0.09017818388731423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816918354758512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960748330805415,0.0,0.10854263818178714,0.0,0.07572434130756428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767061091658177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080056748434332,0.0,0.10669881529023746,0.0,0.0,0.1151305136161354,0.09780745265688642,0.10389776801853166,0.0,0.09771976539219644,0.0,0.0,0.1144032935846008,0.0,0.10215256609604646,0.0,0.1962715349564373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714419446094104,0.0,0.0,0.10335588098517333,0.0,0.0,0.10653857423378077,0.0,0.0,0.08447879712787636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678523748475594,0.0,0.0892616898435946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569453076010282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867224713784884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106201562381021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467083292190424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407402807969653,0.14509323981735714,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DrippyJai,2019/04/07,"Pray for me I’m fed up I’m 24 only like 5’5 -5’6, hair not growing properly , face full of scars and marks and acne which I’ve had to put up with for several years,can’t quite pinpoint why it’s so bad, I’ve been to drs and everything , changed drinking eating habits just recently(only water)  , I can’t even bare to show my face in good lighting, haven’t had sex in years , no girls want me , I can’t say I blame them , after all I’ve explained above , it’s just depressing and sometimes I don’t even want to be here anymore like , it feels really unfair I can’t name one thing I like about myself right now , and I’m not even ugly, it’s just I’ve been trying so long to get my skin together and put on some muscle or weight but I haven’t had any success everything continues to get worse , so I wish the universe would think of me every time a good person with a happy life dies tragically, take someone like me instead, ppl w a happy life don’t deserve to go so soon, ",3.4351272984441286,4.183479599009903,4.641103253182461,87.48702970297029,72.31683168316832,7.751626591230551,25.319660537482317,7.957251820313856,1.2207244695898165,757,22,166,10,14,250,123,202,0.097,0.713,0.19,0.9612,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,15,12,0,0,4,0,14,13,4,0,1,25,28,12,1,4,7,0,4,4,0,1,3,1,0,2,6,8,5,0,3,2,0,4,10,3,0,1,6,6,16,9,20,20,3,18,1,2,0,1,6,7,0,2,11,89,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478339264279706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822781825063285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637673974019015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744589037014136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004805966529425,0.0,0.14465475995931004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653964445820466,0.0,0.14262085690576512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27617814735160506,0.0,0.11743392543362895,0.0,0.2505320767159362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047487434717196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14564092204584422,0.0,0.07921304410590722,0.2338111879927571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967458706868606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196896874590529,0.27237672295426324,0.0,0.0,0.12334719128534245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444770752698096,0.10600500903154142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217015134810051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802314240653728,0.0,0.1482481199255621,0.0,0.0,0.08929059777851292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190300260526099,0.0,0.11084081950398733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746008107355294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809648720794548,0.0,0.13785069386336207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479664955645264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925980869019056,0.08930927687390074,0.0,0.0,0.08127378158991587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463008361077242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644202400841403,0.0,0.0,0.1697276724035202,0.0,0.0,0.1257690535909839,0.0,0.16028048174152668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204044691222895,0.09901177559793706,0.0,0.0,0.08975635204397801
mentalhealth,MinimumX,2019/04/07,"Does anyone else feel completely invisible? Ok, so I might be offloading here and i have no clue if this post is right on this sub but whatever. So i have friends, maybe all together like 10-15 and they all are quite close with each other. I have seen them go to each others houses quite a lot but I have never been invited or told about anything. I have never been invited to a party or someone's birthday. I have told a few of these people about my hobbies and because it takes a while to explain details that I love about them I ask them to search them up. I sometimes remind them through social media. They act like me asking them never happened and I don't know why but I just feel... invisible, like I don't matter, like I'm just a 'backup person' if they have no one to talk to. No one really listens to what I have to say either. I'm sorry if you have gotten to this point and for wasting a few minutes of your life.",2.4689484126984134,4.1561057460317485,4.001001984126983,87.41674107142859,76.19576719576719,6.629761904761906,23.45271164021164,7.413659706084162,0.9532775132275132,722,22,149,9,16,240,110,189,0.07,0.78,0.15,0.9604,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,9,2,8,7,0,0,6,1,17,2,0,0,5,32,34,16,0,3,11,0,2,4,1,1,1,2,0,1,9,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,8,0,0,2,6,5,27,7,19,26,8,12,0,0,1,1,23,5,0,7,8,113,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017739066657723,0.149136051025512,0.11977755795215513,0.0,0.27214445202555265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872763994825486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526093484916564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273742419434099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159069300966607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719174480746147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245373734161458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272101427256226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871186620580888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16794839655506882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999201598812665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280825182939426,0.28443899664920336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374379117769098,0.13136709074294972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462273578849514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440852631323987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367778925527557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19726069741504973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090798930851083,0.12709109651429107,0.0,0.0,0.13759444908845714,0.0,0.13939935423789235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30962665259643585,0.0,0.0,0.0932448550186593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430130157347564,0.0,0.11574943389264435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483727564603123,0.12332642071938005,0.0,0.14395544753093772,0.162934450436498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943759631413473,0.11698983252543975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781638885235185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13133876869113506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,qwertypatootie2,2019/04/07,"How can I tell if I got social anxiety or just introverted? I think all of my friends can tell that I'm introverted. Most of the time, I only talk if someone asks me something. I always eat lunch alone. When I was in school, I wouldn't answer a question even though I knew the answer because I thought it would be embarrassing if I was wrong. 

Despite all that, I have no trouble speaking in front of a crowd. I crack a lot of jokes around my close friends (or under the influence of alcohol). 

Lately, I think it has been getting worse. I avoid social situations entirely. We recently had a party for my manager and I took some food and hid in the restroom because I wasn't close with anyone there. We had an event at work where the entire company was split into groups and there were 50+ people in a group. I was so terrified of having to mingle with that much people so I made up some excuse to get out of it. 

Can anyone tell me if this is normal for an introvert? Am I just shy? Is there some way I can fix this?",2.737173043974874,4.363556349514568,4.315494003426615,85.7054911479155,75.31067961165049,7.371330668189606,24.7390062821245,8.124751697461798,1.4058764134780122,792,26,164,13,17,265,121,206,0.14400000000000002,0.7959999999999999,0.06,-0.9421,0,2,2,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,0,1,13,7,0,2,12,0,22,4,0,3,2,41,33,14,0,7,8,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,8,12,4,1,7,1,0,2,3,4,0,0,14,1,27,3,23,16,8,21,0,0,0,0,17,13,0,12,5,122,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302334438962145,0.0,0.1482985367881731,0.0,0.0,0.11914304461205412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953765401545412,0.0,0.0,0.2002393427568892,0.0,0.0,0.12746677685871052,0.1338605050985465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17457091792648674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651603554919987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457365524505376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314227443696395,0.0,0.22125182370948224,0.0,0.14961858296775238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451971480461445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152115942047782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173245691078413,0.0,0.13548699030496206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525891159696184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029284691174246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890015674159613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19853565732139505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040219661074034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137987659209986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491287639721934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609481739812931,0.0,0.2919222049145604,0.12132187040095907,0.11023233896191093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508827724902013,0.3754552165977088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349688073990011,0.14068048885825898,0.11367447445007042,0.08349348427007433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15908601236825615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365516638852705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424183272268853,0.0,0.14591977373244294,0.10171592814704468,0.1565524936730883,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,robodoink,2019/04/07,"I have no idea when i look at symptoms online, i notice i have close  to most of them or half and half of what I feel. My minds almost blank all the time it’s hard to tell stories because my memory doesn’t allow me to remember the story fully, I can only get minimal descriptions and peice them into a short “wtf did he say” story. I sleep 12 hours a day unless woken up which is hard for the other person to do but it’s also hard to fall asleep every night. I don’t have motivation to really do anything I just go with the flow and never really any emotion except spikes depending what the other person is talking about I’ll laugh for a little bit then back to bitch face. I don’t really get sad unless it’s really close to me, I didn’t cry at my grandparents funeral but I did when my dog ran away. I could keep going on, but just imagine the most bland person ever and that’s me most of the time. ",4.779797979797976,4.472183179894184,6.4696392496392505,79.28116883116886,69.05291005291005,9.412409812409813,24.589225589225588,9.095868883498916,1.6783820105820118,707,14,145,12,11,246,111,189,0.135,0.815,0.051,-0.9289,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,1,8,3,1,0,10,0,15,4,3,3,3,34,24,14,1,1,9,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,9,8,0,1,5,0,0,5,6,2,0,2,5,6,22,1,24,18,5,26,0,1,1,0,9,10,1,6,11,104,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155135287523504,0.0,0.0,0.11304532712621225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612946563197207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632701533894772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281212210002236,0.1086969087902464,0.0,0.08617158096821563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15432821620112716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286424397276655,0.0,0.15527702857142675,0.09116533315863062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590106727284062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278679711769444,0.11910167155065945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714757282112211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770925180086014,0.0,0.16067598739959993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37989166371257693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921086190789933,0.0,0.0,0.1595779317930507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564702546433468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416795886468841,0.0,0.0,0.118706573065349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273303284380404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902534036871864,0.0,0.0,0.1326565331186198,0.0,0.0,0.16093899254499494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751044659181484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702895981457672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36223465782684616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601330206564448,0.0,0.0,0.11241493316538173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146182095567625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469268878955175,0.0,0.11361959849042735,0.12355463701620199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16485599378304056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dizzyguide1,2019/04/07,"What to do when feeling sad all the time yet being told you're mentally healthy? I'm a college student finishing up his undergraduate studies this June. Lots of things are happening in my life, as I come from a third world country and am trying to move somewhere in Europe for my graduate studies. Simply said, my life is full of uncertainties at the moment. My problem is that I feel unhappy almost any time I am with myself, thinking. I can find a way to make something gloomy no matter how much it's not. I recently started doing some physical activity for some mood uplifting, and now all I can think of is how terrible I am at it compared to others, even though I'm progressing, very slowly though. I'm asking this because every time I go seek help from a therapist, I get told that I'm okay, and that it's just a phase because of what I'm going through in life right now. While this could be true, it does not give me a solution. I have a friend I talk to about these things. He has helped me cope a lot, or so I think. Recently, all I think about is that I am such a burden for talking too much about myself to him, probably ruining his mood for my own sake. Life feels like a set of happy moments in a totally different general mood. Not sure why I decided to come to reddit. Perhaps I just want to talk freely to people I don't know and see what they think. I guess I'm just tired. Thank you all. ",4.751600156494521,5.160127735915495,5.853474178403758,81.19802034428795,69.17605633802816,9.409702660406886,30.214397496087642,9.444778638647367,2.5322345852895154,1103,41,226,22,18,368,163,284,0.106,0.7909999999999999,0.103,-0.2081,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,1,1,18,15,0,0,13,1,19,5,0,3,7,46,51,13,0,3,7,0,3,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,18,7,0,0,11,0,0,5,5,5,0,1,3,5,32,7,34,45,13,32,0,2,1,0,17,10,0,7,16,155,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936522964258977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427142779431106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210332030862304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315555874002127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816186008995545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872010313557266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410870768109192,0.0,0.0,0.0955766904481662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721369175107637,0.0,0.0920201848684206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567046384745224,0.07802477540122597,0.0,0.0,0.0998225241226876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438092254487377,0.0,0.0570614689135989,0.10477107128384153,0.12414128090669388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031503731149035,0.0,0.09658039180970254,0.11626371927326246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641194745945854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060022905995535926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30857329741693545,0.053357997502756535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18570508202949265,0.0,0.0,0.07290331590965482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006522954834223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11608057819132425,0.160574388363612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571744106764743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177545927012436,0.10450609140758912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156775788982663,0.0,0.0,0.0932708751905306,0.10389054891102344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703195227217997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840807212337264,0.0,0.0,0.07730448232661936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293589986394497,0.0,0.0,0.2633538972620815,0.0,0.10055250579357468,0.0,0.12680956419668676,0.1451180831043794,0.3499097955746222,0.2146106501614338,0.0,0.19105624833481105,0.12552908221399062,0.0,0.208723392278026,0.0,0.07415129619335492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011561186391727,0.06441912263762238,0.08669151405005145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855151754004514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mr_Mc9b,2019/04/07,"The Silent Treatment Silence can be devastating when you're the target.

​

My story.

​

[https://medium.com/@mpmcg9b/the-silent-treatment-bad41241354a](https://medium.com/@mpmcg9b/the-silent-treatment-bad41241354a)",39.86274509803921,51.957238411764706,15.772941176470592,-7.9284313725489985,17.823529411764696,6.972549019607843,40.96078431372549,7.793537801064563,5.195407843137256,211,6,9,2,3,42,15,17,0.223,0.777,0.0,-0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.533352051341659,0.5981369363823156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5981369363823156,0.0
mentalhealth,kadanizator,2019/04/07,"Your advice on helpful YouTube channels and podcats to cope with depression/anxiety/OCD/confidence? For more than two years I was in and out of huge depression, struggling to get in the shower in the morning, wanting to disappear etc. Thats like half an year ago, I am functioning well, but I would still use some good podcasts on YouTube or on sone podcast app - totally not in a pit where I desperately need a straw to get ne out - I mostly need to work more on not being angry or sas with my past or the poison of comparing myself with friends, girlfriends, colleagues and feel bad for seeing myself inferior to then and focus on being productive in the NOW. I dont feel bad for myself too much during the day but it is there from time to time or sometimes the existential sadness arrives and it goes like this: ""that life has no meaning and is a cycle of suffering, some day my family will die out and leave me alone and old and what, what, I should have wife and kids by that time, right? But what if I don't have the money for a family or it will just never work out for me, or she divorces me, or maybe when I finally have the moneyand the family I will still not feel food about myself? Dude, you are hitting 30, you are too old for a career change and why if life is suffering and you will ve still miserable even if you do it"" etc. So the existential sadness just stops me from learning Html, going to the gym, planning my vacation abroad, then the afternoon is spent laying around ny room and/or drinking beer and at the end I hate myself for the wasted day not being productive and just being a piece of shite.

I really like Jordan Peterson and consider listening more of  his stuff, but I will gladly use your suggestions that maybe helped you and you think I might find them good for me having in.mind my little story above.

Thanks yall!",10.572542777556707,6.990617286908082,9.892051333068046,69.81418523676881,59.97493036211699,13.4883406287306,39.29188221249503,11.35114627814755,4.1954383605252685,1462,49,280,29,14,471,192,359,0.175,0.738,0.087,-0.9905,1,1,2,0,1,0,37.0,0,9,1,3,17,21,2,2,21,0,28,6,0,2,2,66,47,34,1,8,21,1,3,3,2,8,3,1,2,1,13,24,3,1,7,4,2,2,8,12,1,2,2,5,40,9,45,32,11,47,0,7,1,0,21,21,0,14,27,213,53,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221670716145588,0.09272412673367787,0.0,0.0,0.10833701956494178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311872522482972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17467804279359928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065595928067293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20238057929863207,0.0,0.09009429268390573,0.0,0.10856125720174307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259377647356146,0.1024709830802059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264708890308987,0.0,0.23331968567658454,0.06908920452294415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958308096507043,0.0,0.15867105159379405,0.0,0.0,0.11458732354282275,0.09560512180299116,0.0,0.12648619723058402,0.0,0.08081591252728001,0.0,0.10930135725755152,0.0,0.05944821765514911,0.17547183738348288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327367128146282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022618836076176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075932852731174,0.0,0.0,0.14776819131741292,0.1533110256001426,0.10483954895170516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21017527106326456,0.11394318326053532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096710746116893,0.10561907277377204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689514011424801,0.15512339509287676,0.08067617655956523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21952621738748626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985526885853464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701127259038843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933027351925651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335493888641067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345490626197693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506079447000426,0.0874526773305322,0.0,0.10935362419458848,0.11974525219648792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963042624746229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702529097512228,0.0,0.0,0.18298431194569106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218179782641408,0.0,0.0,0.1806865770746403,0.0,0.0,0.061697478803903985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940505361964609,0.0,0.0943878139838001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230426025435928,0.0,0.0,0.07430687272034778,0.0,0.0,0.1347216285516965
mentalhealth,kzizz,2019/04/07,"why am i sleeping through 8+ alarms at full volume everyday? it has seriously become a consistent issue now and i can only feel it’s related to mental health? I work nights and my body isn’t made for it but it’s what i do for my bills- but i go to bed at a decent time usually, most the time i actually end up sleeping the entirety of the day. but i will wake up after 1 alarm and snooze it (bc i set the first one very early and have dwindling down ones)  and then it’s like i don’t exist, i won’t wake up for anything. I have woken up to 20+ calls from my coworkers 2 alarms still continuing to go off, it’s been a mess. I had recently been searching for a different job with day time hours but I assume after getting some reference calls my managers are really pushing for me to stay here on the overnight shift. it’s hard, and i’m frustrated. i don’t know what to do here. ",2.1069162210338703,3.4272625080213928,4.353283422459892,86.0561996434938,76.32620320855615,7.981319073083777,24.766131907308374,8.648137234880735,1.5953624955436718,687,23,152,14,15,239,111,187,0.109,0.871,0.019,-0.9218,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,1,3,9,0,16,6,5,1,0,18,24,11,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,10,7,0,0,4,0,1,3,4,6,0,3,5,2,19,1,26,17,3,34,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,3,20,101,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.15722361335192564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258274872952644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793729126853905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789608671341734,0.0,0.0,0.3290299579039516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20780986125700812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683294000208376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269881100404785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146386706541264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704312900455914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841751959313914,0.0,0.18312912097158615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432612191785185,0.0,0.0,0.17125620173112555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866442262768352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816071909592895,0.1598803681051553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885438101882026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871195711947099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524495651390145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236459451287094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119418087491673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183494631777148,0.12253413779034128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321348501860647,0.0,0.15908022355031826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224598689812365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172563963839904,0.12866551325849435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28183987274934275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744384662393778,0.1329355768357144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537994650698954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729260523167548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bluepill89,2019/04/07,"How to deal with recurring sadness? I don't think I have depression. I don't have any weight loss issues, I don't have trouble sleeping etc. And there are days where I can feel upbeat and try to think positively. So I realize this is just a minor thing.

But I have these episodes in the last 5 years where I feel an overwhelming sadness, or just plain miserable. Perhaps it's hormonal, sometimes I get really bad PMS. But sometimes the episodes get so bad. Sometimes I cry my heart out for hours without a specific trigger, sometimes I don't know exactly how I feel, but I feel like I have to cry to feel better but the tears won't come. I try to talk to my friends when this happens, but sometimes I can't even explain why I'm feeling like this. 

I had thought about contacting a therapist, but then when the episode passed and I think about it again I just feel stupid. Because really, I can be happy sometimes. Also, if I can't even explain it to my friends, then I don't know what to explain to a therapist. Usually I try to just ride it out, but I remember some episodes were just so bad it's messing with my life and productivity.

Now I feel like another episode is starting. I recently started running 3 times a week because they say exercising helps. But during the last 2 runs, the thoughts running through my head are so negative that I still feel bad after the run. I am an introvert so socializing is pretty tiring. But the more that I am alone, the more time I have to listen to my own negative thoughts. I feel like I just can't win.",4.634145658263304,5.611239594771244,5.324883286647992,82.83911764705884,69.71895424836602,8.965826330532213,33.525676937441645,9.23628265651192,2.9085323996265178,1220,58,246,24,21,395,144,306,0.173,0.685,0.141,-0.9092,0,1,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,3,26,22,1,2,16,0,27,8,3,3,1,55,56,27,0,1,18,0,11,4,2,1,4,2,0,0,13,9,1,0,23,1,0,7,12,13,0,0,5,13,39,9,23,49,5,33,0,6,0,0,13,5,0,3,25,166,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362486874665331,0.0,0.06456973990206841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490766182534233,0.08466554059706276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696664253862129,0.09843974468498924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141017073766122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955250551301513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738366728646954,0.05207222624572566,0.08324196156778815,0.06954338813057259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004921941303212,0.10665930599241877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4082582887089848,0.2307298033151293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476289462040525,0.0,0.08436923676873648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140031705237262,0.0859518817665951,0.0,0.0,0.08286508871860307,0.0,0.0,0.09568023914398613,0.05411998891792888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951508809293854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427418176828054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887479215642503,0.13163181144729544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05703080836759426,0.15778680817460874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214413955080806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345141295969064,0.0,0.07972346780683325,0.0,0.09146550110802122,0.0,0.0,0.06420966863577701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080080103605641,0.08230680018469548,0.0,0.0,0.4791383218089617,0.0,0.11429989968493084,0.0,0.06448105663409934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489775481045268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18749650771259427,0.05364172245284018,0.15520958162803206,0.0,0.1923015535745336,0.09416319020407972,0.09280161429694954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445655144416332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892644527476126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06476675498606088,0.09832260039325767,0.0,0.0,0.07285753833155169,0.0,0.0,0.07783287884118646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05199551616895663
mentalhealth,thekristy,2019/04/07,"I'm good with people's emotions, but not with my own.. This book is helping I've been googling quite a bit these past couple of months, trying to get a better handle on my emotions.. Or rather, the lack thereof. I find that my thought /intellectual processes have such a tight grip on so many things, that I can't seem to ""feel"" as much.. And when I can, I have terrible identifying *what* it is I'm feeling, or why. 

The good news is that I came across  the Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren, and bought the Amazon ebook. 

I'm not done with it yet, but the first set of exercises have already helped. I'm starting to understand why I am the way I am, and how to get better at this. 

I wanted to share in case anyone else finds out useful

(Oh and, I'm not sponsored or related to the author/publisher/amazon.. I don't gain anything if you decide to buy it.. This isn't a promotional post or something. Just my personal experience from buying a book with my own money!) 

",2.6227918317586116,4.533621093264248,4.061481255714721,86.16461444681501,76.40932642487047,6.8209692167022276,24.824443767144164,7.724431198458867,1.2640925937214265,753,26,154,11,17,249,117,193,0.056,0.804,0.14,0.9358,0,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,6,7,6,0,0,12,0,14,1,0,2,0,36,31,15,0,4,12,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,12,10,0,1,8,3,4,1,6,1,0,1,5,4,15,5,23,26,5,16,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,6,6,102,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543806377777599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781975443637826,0.14334176968204193,0.115123922130124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474563693860537,0.15273210176201385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000574839293094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479419133033395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431639621765286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168666126870284,0.47209839223601097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684683657120458,0.0,0.0,0.14147300426829573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557280046179737,0.11899694842030265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618159292296107,0.0,0.0,0.2346791782410747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875410159435611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183435321503413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116650434705967,0.0,0.10284093767882696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335482251066251,0.09698747997601308,0.12215331276321173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398336613844733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879846964805185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735765070503768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770011706733644,0.0,0.0,0.09902034228825272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294184391855534,0.0,0.0,0.11106318092434586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498138412156824,0.0,0.0,0.14563848384407924,0.0,0.12082673225333372,0.0,0.0,0.08251531323287567,0.11104431640139237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25247190605613024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OohStripey,2019/04/07,"I'm not even sure what's wrong, at the same time, everything is wrong. I don't know how to say it well but basically I'm studying at the moment, although I don't mind it and it is interesting, I'm far from passionate about it. I have been working but my contract is ending in 2 weeks, my head of department is going out of her way to make my remaining work difficult (she has disliked me for some time, and doesn't understand MH at all) I have yet to find another job. My sister and I have been living together for a couple of months, she moved out this weekend due to many reasons. She is also 3 months pregnant (to a one night stand) thankfully, the father plans to be around a part of the kids life. All I do outside of class/work is sleep. I'm trying to go to therapy, and I found a therapist who is awesome, however though, he is off work sick a lot at the moment. I've picked up a bad habit of not showing much, or keeping on top of anything, really. 

I feel like such a waste of a human, I got really drunk around some work friends last week. We don't hang out often and I don't really drink, so naturally I started saying some weird things. Things like ""why do you care about me"" ""just let me die"" etc. They pretty much laughed it off as me being drunk (whichom very glad of), but I felt like I was speaking honestly. 


There are other things too, however I'm too tired to write it all out.

Apologies in advance to anyone that replies to me, I may not reply to you. 
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mentalhealth,bhargavmax,2019/04/07,"I don’t know what to do For the last two years I spent weeks just laying in bed, unmotivated. Days and days of being unproductive sent me into a spiral and I started evading life with cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. This past month has been the longest I’ve been sober in over a year. I don’t understand what is happening to me, because I’m happy/motivated one moment and sad the next. I’ve started gymming and using art as a release, which is partially helping me. I still feel sad a lot and want to eat and nap all day. I feel stuck inside my head constantly. What do I do?",2.195485893416929,4.304649206896556,4.188244514106581,83.81757053291534,78.48275862068967,7.321630094043888,25.200626959247646,8.296473431620573,1.7250103448275862,452,17,91,9,11,154,77,116,0.099,0.868,0.033,-0.7964,0,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,7,0,11,5,1,1,1,18,24,8,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,9,2,0,4,3,1,1,2,2,0,2,5,2,11,0,11,18,2,20,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,1,15,58,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21152393822756665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065455831952207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21388894270288566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3829399280847764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295326653686863,0.20252889502890034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20015583608874488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502633200432302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20313036591968406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326664017678187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877558970084382,0.1613370506170546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398018049765758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827059164466296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579835690444306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21049777778653025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412056454050786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18894386807317398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801877220746983,0.0,0.1580648839157276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19334607325874306,0.20604915157683884,0.0,0.1709455153025023,0.0,0.0,0.11674256580378665,0.0,0.15876522722886482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25491720069110074
mentalhealth,stone1232,2019/04/07,"Asking a friend to compare sizes Im 18 and i am shy and insecure i am straight and have a girlfriend...im just curious on if i am big or not and i want to ask one of my friends  to compare to see if im ""normal"" or not so what should i do",-2.3748214285714297,-0.7046902678571385,1.2264285714285703,100.51857142857143,94.53571428571428,4.628571428571429,20.5,6.18269132825596,-0.08632857142857109,179,7,49,2,7,65,36,56,0.108,0.7020000000000001,0.189,0.6681,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,14,10,9,0,5,7,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,6,2,6,9,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,4,0,34,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4313758433723138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3565005674380082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7476372476711476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260522814817653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633884703193976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385044530515576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13608202589843685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maxine1437,2019/04/07,"And idea of what she has if so what can I do? My friend has told me that she’s felt sad quite a lot. But not any kind of sad like depression sad. She says that it comes and goes but when it comes it stays for at least a week and gets so bad she starts to have suicidal thoughts, she gets very emotional but when she feels like crying tears don’t come out. Im not sure if it’s depression or something but i want to know so I can help her.",0.4196105383734263,2.003154443298968,1.6298281786941582,102.57390607101952,81.88659793814433,5.9605956471935855,16.963344788087056,6.937597516519254,-0.5404813287514316,339,6,91,4,9,107,61,97,0.287,0.591,0.122,-0.9723,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,1,24,19,15,1,3,9,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,8,7,0,0,5,0,0,3,3,6,0,0,3,3,12,5,7,16,2,10,0,5,0,0,11,2,0,4,6,55,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203990916925477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478281518331335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4575349710944861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447952901653964,0.0,0.0,0.304983329677271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199155799317724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952107138138772,0.12648352626044715,0.16999438201175004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367872778576124,0.0,0.18500112982521885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867191738843925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998662732154884,0.19124282591158773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843688297203276,0.09730125806418444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299396617651105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505203539439266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18831293633296606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407961206983853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630063088904792,0.0,0.0,0.12531588165591304,0.18871020733326527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936623879147992,0.0,0.16686617201565784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055677970218194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691774858217182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608360358685435,0.10442782754466794,0.0,0.14201767500135026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SAMAS1730,2019/04/07,"I want to tear my skin For years now, I’ve been feeling extremely uncomfortable with myself, not like I’m ashamed about my personal appearance but feel like something is restraining me, that something I believe is my skin. It’s like wearing something new and realizing it doesn’t fit you or you forgot about the price tag and annoys you but can’t do anything about it. I try to move my shoulders as if by doing this my skin will get loose and I’ll have enough space to fell comfortable. The feeling is always there but I can ignore it most of the time, but whenever I’m stressed, tired or thinking about this, the feeling gets worse and I literally want to tear my skin apart, just rip it, expecting as if living without epidermis might make me feel okay.
My skin is starting to feel itchy, and the thought of doing this starts to grow again. I know I won’t do it, but I’m scared of having this thoughts inside my head, because now that I wrote this I realized that I think I’ve grown to big for my own skin and if I get just a little bit bigger, just by doing exercise or getting a littler bit fatter or taller my skin may not hold it any longer and end up exploding.
TL;DR: I want to tear up my skin because I feel I don’t fit it anymore.
P.S: I’m sorry if this doesn’t belong here, I just don’t know where to talk about this, I’ve never said anything to anyone but one person. Also sorry if I made some mistakes in my grammar (or if it feels like a child wrote it, I don’t have that much practice on writing)",6.395570388349515,5.349312220064725,6.644140372168285,81.82504550970877,65.957928802589,9.537297734627833,32.58110841423948,8.472884824447931,2.3060564724919104,1192,41,250,14,16,385,152,309,0.14300000000000002,0.7809999999999999,0.076,-0.9728,0,0,3,0,0,0,29.0,0,3,0,0,16,12,1,3,8,1,24,13,11,2,1,68,58,27,0,11,24,0,16,4,0,4,2,1,0,3,21,8,0,4,16,1,1,5,11,6,0,1,8,17,35,6,30,46,7,28,0,0,0,0,11,13,0,16,14,162,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768654169791099,0.09123703898723866,0.0,0.0,0.07456531473543143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087426867267102,0.07666937160023263,0.0,0.18046413665066893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336824461449551,0.0,0.0,0.12353726354521102,0.0,0.0,0.2394173719356954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711677414931827,0.11329708465317992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4435360279994117,0.15666702816232642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291490289155013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253186195647227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12052082502809155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21427652574359995,0.10989744975267728,0.09682238063290466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375286158724532,0.07319178932596716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632062745740578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653990107040785,0.08060488509754513,0.0,0.08456833464418237,0.10590002081016944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07430123401817795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914831576178892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043016366810786,0.0,0.1097781229739049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25324026862676396,0.0,0.2454869295333197,0.1552207417126156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560295439809352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813199018485235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051774584589669,0.0,0.17409866419018194,0.06393741493121502,0.12602579217486126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744447077819772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940220740507668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569805587458347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174205030923802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061058327892641
mentalhealth,rollingwiththetides,2019/04/07,Feeling a little lost This is mostly just to vent post. So I found out the other day that my primary care doctor who handles all of my medicines has switched to another facility. Unfortunately it's a specialty facility that I would have no reason to go to. So this doctor is the first person I ever opened up to about my mental health. She's the first one I ever told about the self harm. There's something better that I just really trusted. I felt like I could be completely candid and vulnerable with her and honestly that was probably the best. The first time I was ever able to do that with somebody in the medical profession. Really somebody anywhere. Well I had gone on new medicine earlier this year and she wanted me to check back in in about a month or so and do a follow-up appointment. So I called yesterday to make the follow-up appointment because the medicine I'm on is making me so exhausted and I really don't see any difference other than sapping my energy. I don't need to feel more tired. That's all beside the point. I called up there and find out that she is not there anymore. And now I have to see somebody new. I'm really scared. And I'm angry. And I feel betrayed. And I know that nothing is personal. I know that no decisions were made because of me. I'm not so self-centered or righteous to believe that. But it hurts. I know that the personal relationship issues come from borderline personality disorder and I know that the fear of change is probably the bipolar feeling of Abandonment is probably the bipolar. At this time I don't know what's what or what to blame where. I just know that I didn't expect to feel so upset. I didn't expect feels. Like I've lost somebody. Like they've died. It's such a weird feeling. This is why for so many years I never got close to anybody. I never developed relationships with people. They always go away and there's always this feeling. I know that everybody's advice would be to try to give this new person a chance and be as open and candid with them. That it may turn out wonderful. But it's really really hard. I did that once 10 twelve years ago. And they went away and I never did it again. And then just a couple of months ago I decided that I needed some help. And I'm right back to where it was. I'm sorry if this is rambling I'm sorry for any format this is in or any misspellings. I just didn't realize I would be crying so much. If anybody has gone through a situation like this. If anybody can relate to this anger and fear and devastation over something so minuscule over somebody who I didn't know that well but confided so much into I'd love to hear how you got through it. Thanks in advance,2.5824695581797457,4.821357249530959,4.115901114667256,84.16796784755181,77.81801125703565,7.55750285104661,24.5222749512563,8.4952907291091,1.7789330022440493,2126,75,416,45,51,706,223,533,0.109,0.816,0.075,-0.8065,0,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,3,8,36,25,1,4,22,0,40,9,0,5,8,98,91,44,1,12,17,0,10,4,0,4,8,1,0,6,44,32,0,1,24,0,1,7,14,12,2,4,22,13,48,13,56,60,8,62,0,4,2,1,25,26,0,11,32,293,92,2,0.06423372277616309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276845048369623,0.11387863920002128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068952060120281,0.0,0.0,0.13104340246800175,0.06735465897226912,0.0,0.0,0.06370259287776198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069939398611833,0.0987835358075715,0.0,0.07831256241697836,0.0,0.0,0.07236940930686386,0.06740932914781306,0.056809507897402425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117962543041473,0.0,0.06549056132351029,0.0,0.06795076160948693,0.055331664529152315,0.06734783623308975,0.0,0.0,0.05128540089117376,0.07107339250689124,0.07055772828635963,0.04142543726732397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666446304469631,0.06711056885010387,0.07361741125024461,0.131491874154575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17430923910320947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456159232223273,0.2598280019443928,0.04588858438579559,0.061674447057986276,0.0,0.058708458925408075,0.1639115153387755,0.0,0.07042896158162565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061618839927134524,0.07301100984083149,0.0,0.1027471519326898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057540798818492014,0.0,0.0,0.06827744360676888,0.07239607393351008,0.0,0.04305451038809696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876352874533627,0.0,0.0,0.06704331813321557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824093934464357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255254095110841,0.06437906502616811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023739248682882,0.0,0.05797344265746163,0.060779501597247584,0.08575301747224111,0.06512291301358243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470871796661183,0.06473248462553989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254148938894384,0.0,0.09443835413469633,0.09525698307195793,0.14862302066513405,0.18611198916863933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061633989396811785,0.0,0.0,0.06840681839468576,0.043526432934939685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04453157559303463,0.2804320455897969,0.0,0.0,0.060721630197499064,0.0,0.06151815057860184,0.0,0.20776445185003767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468986056533045,0.06604296512531697,0.0,0.1379259589238299,0.0,0.05485524828374476,0.0,0.0,0.06430916216247802,0.0,0.1023719213689582,0.0,0.1340195634198805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220139568789154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890051593770516,0.0,0.14380878751114895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05913778185946755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491040060939186,0.07382721516885866,0.0,0.061378074788339676,0.0,0.043610481352714336,0.06986784520264197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037886713931752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550766187151655,0.05954530454363394,0.05796094388902932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965873232358354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688938111393872,0.0,0.0,0.12409323444756964
mentalhealth,xXOLD_MANXx,2019/04/07,"Why do I grow too overly focused or obsessed about a particular aspect of something? I was just browsing Reddit for fun when I came upon this user's post detailing about trying to find a job. I decided to dig deep into this redditor's post to try and find out more about this person. This was an hour ago. Now, I have this redditor's rough location, his taste in clothing, his choice of accessories, where he is studying, what he looks like and his name. Now I am not going to do anything with this information, ordinary me wouldn't care about such trivialities. But right now I am in this manic high right now, and I am still thinking all about this redditor. I guess it might have to do with me being kinda jealous that this poster is sort of affluent and I am getting kinda upset, but is this an appropriate response to feeling ptentially threatened(I say threatened, though realistically speaking him and I will most likely never cross paths in a thousand lifetimes)? This adrenaline rush is mad awesome, guess I will go do my homework.",6.297325627740136,7.553607357512956,6.585492227979272,74.29050617776008,66.09844559585493,9.254523714627343,32.98086887206058,9.466822959209583,3.157587803905938,832,35,142,16,13,268,122,193,0.08800000000000001,0.8440000000000001,0.068,-0.408,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,16,8,2,2,5,0,21,1,0,0,2,32,31,10,0,1,5,0,2,2,0,4,0,2,1,1,14,10,1,0,6,0,0,6,3,4,0,1,3,6,19,4,24,23,3,29,0,0,1,0,11,12,0,8,11,108,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310048449040295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421288542507037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753873280054787,0.17609336989998026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732935619293136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157148195063158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902359037559523,0.0,0.19631462157062354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805277478458349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18248175745425996,0.0,0.0,0.1700884377078839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139193261352165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687586113340176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14503620825004246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832221937619288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320763595411222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080714819930746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3308244188620667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29499351759310793,0.0,0.13734905520365145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296362700486722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379295734644545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066811716517774,0.16969056652127545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345228524282893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584746451606338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnotherBrokenWire,2019/04/07,"Reoccuring suicidal ideation I am a 29 year old Male who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality in his teens. My life has been an insane rollercoaster of dramatic highs and crushing lows. Ever since I was young I would have intense, tactile thoughts of killing myself. To the point where I could almost feel the knife or rope. Sometimes these intense thoughts would come out of nowhere, like in the middle of a conversation with a friend. I also have flashbacks to some of the many traumatic events I have endured in my life with seemingly no trigger. 
Two months ago a girl I was dating came home drunk and violently assaulted me. Really beat me up. And then broke up with me after sending a deluge of the meanest messages I have ever received from a person. In a fit of panic I quit my jobs and tried to drive to Alaska, but failed. I came back home feeling like an utter disgrace. I have been drinking every day for three weeks straight. I have worked very hard to find a job but nothing has come up. I am living on my best friends charity and I may be at the lowest point in my life. 
Today I put my loaded pistol to my head, one in the chamber, safety off. I don't think I was going to pull the trigger, but I wanted to look at myself in the mirror with a gun at my head to see what it felt like.
I don't know if I can take myself seriously, and I've suffered so much damage to my pride that I am paralyzed at the thought of seeking help. Even talking to my mother makes me feel sick to my stomach and just want to run away.
I am truly lost. And I cannot discern my intentions from fantasy or reality.",4.9073719676549885,5.672272531446541,5.715085354896675,81.05933962264152,68.9685534591195,8.447079964061096,30.551662174303683,8.563005593585519,2.2716341419586703,1267,49,247,19,21,415,185,318,0.193,0.6940000000000001,0.113,-0.9746,3,0,1,2,0,1,27.0,0,0,0,7,8,18,3,1,21,0,27,10,3,4,2,51,49,17,2,6,7,1,5,3,2,3,5,0,2,4,5,18,2,0,12,3,0,11,4,11,0,3,13,7,43,7,48,31,3,52,0,6,2,0,15,26,0,7,18,174,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416066862262013,0.0,0.10636742920314048,0.0,0.0,0.0849468449831181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099800416653344,0.08167926703277406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147494470515533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429826296275457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300417232476104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481077175518509,0.0,0.0,0.06850532985776847,0.0,0.0,0.10781455357402872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405852954498533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701595789752803,0.19217036213706706,0.0894978278858744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112928571479782,0.07588604532449016,0.10199115852991836,0.0,0.09708629792300892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413592938485974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060369227729796276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951553360294784,0.0,0.21803178568064865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119933139071083,0.11223089430785567,0.21310153846738664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108207433193836,0.0,0.11752049582423985,0.0,0.05837762353639895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22508626695778688,0.1556862187464083,0.0,0.09379724184875396,0.0,0.0892009348551058,0.0,0.11595543058131433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709049696968274,0.1076938936939897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478653477289229,0.0,0.07808644914806047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192425361335357,0.0,0.11146362946491167,0.0,0.07197975066619497,0.0,0.0,0.1246303173629725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855004176476983,0.0,0.0,0.20083096669988745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067838942903724,0.0,0.11298170160377664,0.0,0.0,0.0680494543829645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464632728313805,0.09670182847275656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786912558803404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505769629836934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619120039940835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986680569849927,0.08537837578403087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806368994954297,0.0,0.2529886334726493,0.0,0.0,0.10068739883390736,0.0,0.0,0.07211874170560201,0.0,0.10376486404699634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764546096010853,0.1253066717617412,0.0,0.08520603465655685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733192797174797,0.0,0.0,0.15091616529751822,0.0,0.0,0.06840441139333256
mentalhealth,lucyglow,2019/04/07,"Am i bi-polar Ok, so I’m 17, working, in the span of 2019 i kind of got into a drug abuse binge, did alot of shit, acid, dxm, bit of meth, shrooms, etc.. I’ve been a month sober now and ever since around night-time usually, i get an incredible amount of depression and my motivation and will to leave drops to 0. This happens about every other day, sometimes daily, it’ll even happen several times throughout the day, the phases usually last 1-2 hours sometimes more and right after that i’m basically back to normal again. I don’t have much of too many reasons to be sad at all, so why does this happen. Did i kind of fuck my brain chemistry up with the drugs?",4.976567164179106,4.942967067164184,5.824589552238809,83.13673507462687,68.62686567164178,8.789552238805971,27.94402985074627,8.472884824447931,1.72836119402985,513,15,109,7,8,169,101,134,0.145,0.821,0.034,-0.9432,0,0,3,0,1,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,10,7,2,0,8,1,9,5,2,2,2,13,17,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,1,7,3,19,10,7,21,0,2,0,1,0,7,2,1,13,63,12,2,0.0,0.16402622037130302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123239041270704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645016505568898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113828231363818,0.0,0.0,0.15454243006545768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17856192729123713,0.0,0.11923632145434633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211478996213231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210879208353561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439480245750364,0.09143689743395317,0.12522496535194208,0.11663986341545172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798356597261448,0.07232806530310826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072139899449172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36726041331266013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633340076153436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883234446939405,0.0,0.11284532868803145,0.0,0.14658569934818172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403542560514781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049977489945854,0.0,0.1017677521161932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991454865972862,0.13563970453026553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423371714908437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182251715579482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563953711160349,0.1421044685111147,0.1145172240391444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27383715641925344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072422640136298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049394773422716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491863129478685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078440705600493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chasingstars4562,2019/04/07,"Inappropriate therapist? -My therapist asked for all the last names of the people I have had any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with. 

-My therapist had disclosed to me my previous therapists serious health condition without my previous therapist knowing. 

-My therapist told me I have very muscular calves. 

-My therapist said I wasn’t trans yet because I was not on hormones yet

-My therapist said anyone who transitions over the age of 50 doesn’t make sense. They weren’t sure what the person over 50 got out of transitioning so late in life. 

-",5.906517754868273,8.852877773195877,6.4958075601374565,67.68730813287516,70.23711340206185,12.146162657502865,34.489117983963354,11.429527900616536,5.432817640320734,452,23,70,19,9,147,66,97,0.014,0.932,0.054000000000000006,0.5719,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,8,3,1,1,2,10,15,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,9,2,14,2,13,6,1,10,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,1,5,47,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670237364822218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858455690824118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091697898158241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059792790418760525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844895802188606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426165994086224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214228692434506,0.05390592886209492,0.07995381681958086,0.11064615971705913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06928159318267803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547368702090109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800102267817604,0.08564559253915932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053084933082354,0.0,0.0,0.1866059780397215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244562893762973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9110904889714274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372612129801916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809318656257957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945521552728995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jackson1221,2019/04/07,"Don't feel like talking anymore The title says it all. I don't feel like talking anymore, at all, to anyone. I don't feel hateful towards anybody, but I'm 27, an introvert who works as a consulting actuary (have to talk alot sometimes) and I just feel like all we ever do as humans is talk, it's all I've ever done. I just feel like taking a break from it (obviously impossible), but to me it's like tying my shoes or brushing my teeth, I've done it so much I could go the rest of my life without it and that'd be fine.

Am I necessarily depressed? Yes I have a tendency towards depression and have dealt with pretty severe anxiety in the past, but I have a girlfriend, good (but stressful job), so things are pretty good, so I don't know if this is depression or if this is just the way I feel and that's all? Have any of you ever felt this way?",3.4855492424242414,4.131097971590911,5.215227272727272,83.79492424242427,72.125,8.139393939393939,28.303030303030305,8.344100000000001,1.82561893939394,657,24,141,10,12,225,92,176,0.187,0.6890000000000001,0.124,-0.9048,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,0,1,9,13,1,1,10,1,20,3,2,0,9,37,32,17,0,3,12,0,7,5,1,0,1,1,0,1,13,6,0,0,8,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,9,16,8,14,26,8,12,0,3,0,0,11,4,0,5,9,100,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07621752769739541,0.0,0.08574008811626302,0.0,0.22230439895250512,0.07836820610516293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948591968640755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28960029992933994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293913526838606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30414547414940996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340022900916972,0.32027689014921595,0.1076133659917315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636970487634871,0.1880130073414621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065475694761896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122106139632976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06159565846589709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916467523582926,0.2737805622780423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239092243177099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699203745130753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22804916557210886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912967762595861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661730874822896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108489449964251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838605576437653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842694201743174,0.3603392503216368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446027258983276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792610346842005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804010590937532,0.0,0.08159480868362477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,studor1998,2019/04/07,"I’m Drowning and I Don’t Know if I can Save Myself This Time I’m 20/F and I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 11. So many times in the past I thought I’ve reached my breaking point, and each time I was able to talk myself out of it, but with each and every time I get a little bit closer to it and this time I don’t know if I can talk myself out of it. Life is so unbearable at points. I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going, I’m thousands in debt from trying to find my path, I have no motivation for school anymore and I can’t do the work anymore, I’m still living with my mom and she is her own brand of suffocation in my life, and my family... I don’t even have the energy to get into that. And I know that none of these things seem that bad or like they could all be easily fixed, but it always seems that when I try to change anything I always end up making everything so much worse for myself, and sometimes those around me. People say it gets better, but I’ve been struggling for a fucking decade and nothing ever gets better, there are just new problems and they are so much worse than the old ones. I don’t know what to do anymore. I hate life and I hate myself for not being better but I don’t how to be better. I don’t know how to keep going. And the worst part is I don’t even want to die, but it’s getting so hard to find the point in living anymore. 

",2.3222052205220542,3.1058566435643584,3.917997299729972,91.50320657065708,74.97359735973599,6.697209720972098,21.36348634863486,6.7829847944221076,0.2458858085808577,1085,23,254,9,22,363,144,303,0.181,0.72,0.099,-0.9842,1,0,0,0,0,2,25.0,0,0,2,6,16,15,3,2,8,0,28,4,0,4,2,57,55,32,2,5,11,1,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,17,24,0,1,12,0,1,2,12,9,0,2,4,2,36,6,33,47,10,31,0,1,0,1,8,16,1,6,13,175,53,3,0.08723918869781405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517998716455635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673774056966778,0.0,0.3460713332757616,0.0,0.0,0.07179041903768771,0.07766137372312325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284107857932844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086238919429785,0.09524259930623616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228749413867164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965339345781264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513898539259181,0.0,0.0905405045767162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726802722320499,0.0,0.0,0.11524132272504432,0.07891284071498343,0.07350277907326422,0.0,0.07840495758623506,0.0,0.08224134301533371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15947007599728216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065122419757066,0.2278943771493957,0.0,0.0991600827297204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814917755027298,0.1722612753081389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848242524928767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07754219931321074,0.0,0.0,0.2397218830321671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184858856839756,0.042620660976120585,0.08743658563241395,0.15406760383239745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058232835879193125,0.08844684460748004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102173483426559,0.0,0.0,0.12826168312519362,0.0,0.0,0.08425615206614219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370835440948292,0.0,0.09154285332724467,0.0,0.05911553202958812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944715399628552,0.08327967693202266,0.06048066900480804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474076945515752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347612167402313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937610437714355,0.0,0.0882907164401887,0.0,0.15883856183141093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216515839573298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628178832241704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696693287855284,0.0,0.0,0.1824026833711294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023911062713587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795784053905624,0.0,0.0,0.06925817111412486,0.25434936244333417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184593651901428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0514559337834108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351116838573137,0.0,0.17780837267094407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,djhart13,2019/04/07,"Friend is borderline suicidal and refuses to get professional help. Advice? Long story short, one of my best friends is going through an extremely rough patch and definitely needs professional help. He has told me he would have killed himself already but he was too scared to die. I have been trying to help him as best I can, but I don't know if it will be enough. 

We are juniors in college and he is on track to go to dental school. His plan is to get a military scholarship to pay for dental school, then serve for a few years while completing his residency. However, he thinks that his chances of getting said scholarship will be greatly diminished if he has a history of mental health issues, so he refuses to get professional help. 

Does anyone know if his chances will really be diminished or any advice on how to convince him that his mental health is more important than money? Any insight would be greatly appreciated, thank you.",6.329224806201553,7.842222697674417,6.602325581395353,73.25643410852717,66.2093023255814,10.617054263565894,33.519379844961236,10.686352973137794,3.9009519379844964,752,33,130,21,12,242,107,172,0.08,0.7070000000000001,0.213,0.976,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,0,3,3,10,1,1,4,0,23,2,0,1,0,20,36,14,3,6,6,0,1,0,2,5,2,1,0,0,3,4,0,2,4,0,4,2,1,2,0,1,4,2,15,8,20,23,5,10,0,0,0,0,27,4,0,4,4,85,18,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472891023424123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963001724422155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17209072984112614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847336165587906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655727896102316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266526287048014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313191188998991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107280612712562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074026480017634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19551495072412134,0.0,0.26442873451532395,0.0,0.14382087613698458,0.0,0.0,0.2790015732527572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26899290343543136,0.0,0.0,0.33924403561403965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206540731418867,0.0,0.0,0.13998771649974898,0.0,0.13907616975620174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197588301224776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550268150972066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938210743382513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574062642699964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105894772918562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035988075526588,0.0,0.12667952499227714,0.2561120935689605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384042903086782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649267169935687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810759048092628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209057169720671,0.0,0.08590618936207793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976787125280907,0.0,0.0,0.08148176437055953
mentalhealth,RoutineShake7,2019/04/08,"My 20's are ending soon, somehow more lost than when my 20's started I worked shitty low-importance jobs, graduated University, and now work a higher importance higher skill job. It doesn't pay much more, fewer people than ever before in my history of coworkers know what they're doing, I actually feel less Raison Detre than when I was packing boxes all day. The stakes are actually serious, the grind is somehow more boring than physical labor jobs. Between anxiety about real consequences and unease from unrelenting boredom, I think I was actually happier working a shittier job and drinking myself to death.

And above all, I don't feel like I've changed much. I still have no real friends, still am trapped with parents trying to pay down debt, and still feel like I'm stuck in that ""learning to adult"" phase. Except now everyone is an adult but me, I struggle to click with anyone my age, and everyone else seems to have done (Not accomplished, but at least attempted) twice as many ""life"" goalposts as me by this point.

Y'all ever just sit back and wonder the fuck is your life?",10.146007816862088,8.478318095477388,9.636348408710216,65.35704634282526,59.0,12.86454494695701,39.69905080960358,11.645159339076185,4.681626018983809,867,35,144,20,9,280,134,199,0.168,0.773,0.059,-0.9442,6,1,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,7,15,9,1,2,6,0,14,4,0,0,4,30,26,13,1,0,5,1,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,2,4,9,1,0,8,1,3,0,4,6,0,1,5,4,17,3,23,21,9,21,0,1,1,1,6,5,1,4,17,99,21,13,0.0,0.0,0.3383568407397615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841540958709443,0.0,0.0,0.0808135050199411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08887089629449063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834675901034334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226420200005655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453703107995245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827449008321092,0.0,0.11322058979837422,0.0,0.0,0.09654901144931106,0.0,0.10236613071721856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090904209204676,0.0,0.2208758564745336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17531626520374288,0.16513519548420302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929381768759427,0.1068482534808758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4587658312052816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351760876037732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326965226147291,0.11292930101949218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616497944135635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171760375149807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992348184167128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833359523226198,0.0,0.0,0.0801259239002764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092567836532276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631018373264117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521615193047228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180536717450662,0.0,0.2768976978086406,0.0,0.0,0.1208252468721821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405650602250223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846859365713921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533736367554446,0.25242235884435404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hoddiechild,2019/04/08,"My uncle killed himself, can't tell father about mental illness and can't trust my iwn senses. Ok, so I have been showing signs of psychosis for a long time. When I was 10 It became extremely noticeable. My mother thought I just wanted attention and refused to admit something was seriously wrong, so she left it for 4 years. (I am now 14.) It was finally after a series of extremely bad hallucinations and mental break downs she took me to a doctor. 

  The doctor recommended me to a psychiatrist/phycoligist (can't remeber which one.) and I am going on the 10th of this month. (April) 

  when I was 10 their was a clear line between what was real and what wasn't. Now that line (although not completely gone) has become extremely blurred. I also started experiencing a new type of hallucinations where I feel as though someones touching me.  (Tapping me grabbing me, etc.)

   I can't tell my father nor anyone on his side, luckly they live in a diffrent province. You see my uncle had scitzoprenia, he was put on pills for it and killed himself with those pills. My uncle was my brothers dad so I can't reach out about my psychosis as I don't want to re open old wounds.

   The other thing is I feel pathetic I should be stronger than it yet I struggle so much. Now the hallucinations are becoming so realistic it's scaring me. 

Now I have to constantly ask, is that real or is it not?",3.7004711522565765,5.846538372623577,5.111390312448339,78.78306827574806,74.01901140684409,7.767829393288148,28.164820631509343,8.587818076936951,2.2775800628203013,1084,44,199,21,23,362,152,263,0.141,0.8170000000000001,0.042,-0.9775,1,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,2,0,18,10,2,2,11,1,28,6,0,0,1,28,40,20,2,3,4,5,4,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,16,9,0,1,5,1,0,4,10,7,0,1,14,6,37,3,26,24,2,33,0,0,1,0,19,10,0,3,18,148,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079319823220167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943711212685855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261746646368716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126906810441318,0.0,0.2981179155758386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150891721708325,0.14584992127677496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762861255120271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052237739442162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648537679286332,0.0,0.0,0.14784827357291802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670408973306878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29863899195543503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664057468721978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917714249523426,0.11944035399047802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720272638434368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772829495988373,0.0,0.09921528281259256,0.0,0.0,0.13035066673471868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536592881800049,0.1416237470308114,0.0,0.09145621803836132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356777569916231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307240917099088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351241615729721,0.0,0.10755014976439617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435595809002536,0.10390315194476347,0.0,0.0,0.09552938242366256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109540258237632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23593185560597585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966518137262945,0.0,0.1326030668237387,0.10714765106370426,0.07869955644784828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14995180426224078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921247556759538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756375207702965,0.0,0.08691345420445447
mentalhealth,M-Chance,2019/04/08,"If youre going through some anxiety/mental health issues I can give you some positive words. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPSrht__yps

I've decided to share my mental health fight with the world, and along the way share my findings and benefactors with others as well.",14.184418604651166,13.863187093023255,9.534534883720934,64.99854651162794,50.16279069767442,13.251162790697675,37.77906976744186,12.161744961471696,4.6477069767441845,227,7,32,5,2,61,33,43,0.056,0.728,0.21600000000000005,0.7579,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,3,6,3,2,3,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,3,0,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28700279864831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012305182634618,0.1784612008218566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6675636785013301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32774868029408266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31645191495476666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24924942912527676,0.0,0.0,0.2823359940734257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,quargsg,2019/04/08,"Group Ideas ( not advertising) Hello everyone,

​

I was not exactly sure where this belongs, so this is one of a few subreddits I will post this on. So I have been trying and failing to start a peer-led support group in my area for those with an ambiguous psychiatric diagnostic situation ( conflicting professional opinions, lack of access to assessment, potential misdiagnosis ) and am wondering if any of you could offer ideas and suggestions as to what you find helpful, and where you would look, if you were to consider joining such a group. I would like to get a rough idea of what features might be worth striving for as I continue to try and get the group started. As far as my background is concerned, I have very little organizing experience, no psychological training, and am a person who has gotten too many opinions from too many professionals over a period of years, starting as a kid, who would like to see if I can bring people in a similar situation together to help each other. What are your initial thoughts? Thanks.",13.04293436293436,9.618464243243244,12.066332046332047,55.625135135135174,55.21621621621621,15.976833976833975,48.59073359073359,13.925175675911133,6.646938223938223,835,41,135,25,7,272,121,185,0.065,0.8390000000000001,0.096,0.7005,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,5,0,1,7,6,0,0,10,0,19,0,0,0,2,31,32,16,0,8,5,0,1,2,0,5,0,0,0,2,10,8,0,1,6,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,5,3,14,5,26,20,3,17,0,1,2,0,18,9,0,8,8,102,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567606924239826,0.16337096209094545,0.09143032831498732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734705340982116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847234023727458,0.0,0.13151749304345325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228844849872019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048871798598722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18023744558308236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45533164882628796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313705519010093,0.13475380540561965,0.0,0.0,0.1129037894589328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726215531124095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262976285919654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110651842072466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321041350057332,0.1173961917140212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876553719152284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713891204807602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022539336532946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285492324945623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525717958288629,0.12671714277559687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237831140537922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673795237496199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825648855092997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109349883759071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580483976458627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28652738304331565,0.0,0.16337096209094545,0.08658112467722616
mentalhealth,WontonRon234,2019/04/08,"Depression Survey In the recent year, mental health has become a major topic of discussion across the country. My investigators and I have decided to study the predictors of depression in college students as our thesis topic with the hope to correlate demographic, social, and health factors to help further understand its cause and precipitating factors. With this information, we can determine “high risk” individuals and begin early screening, counseling and avoid negative outcomes. PLEASE CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO PARTICIPATE IN OUR THESIS STUDY. If you have any questions please feel to message me for more information about it!

[Depression in College Students](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/7BZMV9Y)",12.446000000000005,15.153876266666668,10.713333333333336,44.97000000000003,53.0,13.23809523809524,44.523809523809526,12.540900571622839,7.032809523809526,588,31,62,19,7,182,76,105,0.131,0.777,0.091,-0.6965,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,3,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,6,0,4,2,0,1,0,19,8,7,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,8,0,1,7,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,7,1,18,8,2,12,0,3,2,0,11,8,0,3,4,46,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130046848086015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21120482930419826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964517638519132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4941331390346615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669452656803748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.406549257842984,0.0,0.0,0.12818127276325395,0.20205103888961606,0.0,0.1899402207693729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927206277259962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198387894709809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142277739592623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888222037162099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949407347578008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19908312993316288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314953446546766
mentalhealth,PHRYGUY,2019/04/08,"Weird hallucinations? Any input on what it could be. Woke up at around 2 pm after a good 5-6 hours of sleep. Smoked a lil and had a cigarette worked out, was sitting In my comfy chair in my dim lit room,dozed off. Had very vivid day dreams of all these different problems and solutions when it comes to work,everything. This is where I had a very real and nerve wracking dream. Woke up in my room my whole body feels like it has weights on it. Look at the tv screen the options menu is going crazy moving around, remembering that I’m alone I start to realize I’m having another one of these. I hear high pitched noises and weird tones coming from the darkest parts in my room which are for some reason even darker. That feeling of anxiety that most people feel in the chest is all over my body, it felt like I was made of static. I close my eyes and start violently taking deep breathes. Open them again and look in dark scary corner, this feeling throughout my body amplifies after I hear an even higher pitched almost like a screech now. And swooshing sound to left. These noises get closer and closer to my face and I feel completely shaken, then wake up. Rooms normal,I can move my arms and legs properly, no noises. That whole thing lasted I’d guess maybe 2 -3 minutes. It used to last a lot longer and happen very frequently,even multiple times in the same night.The weird thing when it does happens, which it hasn’t in almost a year before, I’m always in the same position I went to sleep in, my room is completely normal and before this weird head trip happens,I always think I’m awake. But it feels like I’m dreaming and then after  when I’m actually 100% awake I can barely recall it.",3.94114345114345,5.567396933933935,4.358753753753756,86.62438149688153,72.15315315315314,7.285239085239086,23.61850311850312,7.882392219407189,1.0926623700623703,1341,36,267,18,26,422,185,333,0.09,0.8420000000000001,0.069,-0.721,1,1,2,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,1,1,10,11,1,0,14,0,17,14,13,3,2,49,50,19,0,3,1,0,8,4,0,0,0,3,4,0,25,20,1,0,11,4,0,7,2,6,0,1,10,17,21,5,38,38,10,61,0,0,6,0,3,35,0,7,22,151,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0876353709158977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17985069048395833,0.09300945860609194,0.0,0.0,0.14944759828449455,0.0,0.0,0.06106953560875816,0.0941669172286749,0.06869951732235367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15988850817626798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283251880596666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29925470423381323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547157198431275,0.18831475704458048,0.0,0.0,0.07170087673885926,0.0,0.0,0.057915900426722074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382566074128423,0.0,0.0,0.07858774597488784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779433161631129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070969583141785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724444269274281,0.12831143661130764,0.08622555053875032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046918680725483414,0.0,0.05103746218427277,0.07532300898249616,0.0,0.0,0.09892880308847284,0.0,0.15882607489557973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216441418177407,0.0,0.2024303947432844,0.0,0.0,0.0948824465633698,0.0,0.0,0.08843846818995334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464038593010299,0.0,0.0,0.09757188712262918,0.0,0.0,0.17549403453133633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15082483280541392,0.0,0.0,0.07634781945444256,0.0,0.08497434896767188,0.0,0.0,0.09021979860847468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19089405478975605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427460633181265,0.17597694515633458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085325157880243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972485604209586,0.0,0.06225851718228214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592992837330038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221617088785856,0.0,0.0923330698334092,0.0,0.0,0.10172998614760057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973693404697685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712691747993313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675211399731711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193230587698012,0.05754252841315233,0.0,0.0,0.05236520829728904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756148719333301,0.0,0.22229215450938428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093566060955522,0.0,0.0832488479620271,0.0,0.2005250512936092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075619808026695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05783058175517311
mentalhealth,w00psimcrazy,2019/04/08,"Im a fork in a microwave I'm 22 years old, between the ages of 16 to now I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, ocd, ADHD, schizoaffective disorder, and GAD. 

I went to therapy for two years which did not help so to help cope with all this my doctor gave me Wellbutrin....needless to say it's not doing much.

I'm currently in finals and have a major paper due tomorrow I haven't started. I had to stop myself from jumping off an overpass today. I have pushed away all my friends and am battling an inner chaos that worsens everyday. I am almost 99% sure I have been misdiagnosed. 

I have no one to talk to so I came to Reddit to vent. My parents don't take me seriously and think I'm attention seeking.

How do you motivate yourself go keep going?",2.190200000000001,4.485478953333335,4.2006666666666685,82.75700000000002,79.46666666666667,7.466666666666666,27.33333333333333,8.447377352677275,2.2587333333333337,593,26,113,13,15,202,103,150,0.161,0.778,0.061,-0.9322,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,1,5,5,1,0,6,0,15,3,0,2,3,19,27,7,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,4,7,0,2,3,0,0,6,5,3,0,2,7,1,16,2,19,20,4,24,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,1,13,76,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232902528933289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860474946506058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745611191559478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125007148545724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002551189396222,0.18857866293838504,0.0,0.0,0.21293789923558906,0.19016970967539015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035300412517135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354525004962848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21118388697108548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490698012592164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200691173153196,0.0,0.0,0.165143701018135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658117281760584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496126927168408,0.0,0.1258999336295463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20630407002905204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477521496750996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150710979286154,0.0,0.0,0.1553334738462951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511019125437555,0.0,0.1396951982131181,0.14933549706856986,0.0,0.0,0.21247350580851548,0.0,0.0,0.1190503435746684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611254155780345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149534244957014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722344190529065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23929260034053976
mentalhealth,MadnessMaiden,2019/04/08,"How to stop wasting my days off? I work full time, but have a weird job where I work long 12 hour shifts and as a result get several days off in a row. 5 in fact. Every 2 weeks I get 5 days off in a row. It never fails that I seem to waste them. I'm usually beat my first day off, anyway. But I just spend time sitting around doing nothing and I feel shitty and sad as a result. How do I get out of this rut?",-0.5506280193236712,0.9895067391304336,1.9923188405797128,98.98553140096621,84.86956521739131,4.958454106280193,15.657004830917876,5.82211442006289,-0.8837792270531404,308,5,80,2,9,106,60,92,0.153,0.77,0.077,-0.7028,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,5,6,3,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,4,2,17,9,9,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,10,0,14,9,1,25,0,2,0,0,1,11,0,1,13,48,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18176431049349415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5267192159210109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720312340242519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324000970656673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367618894507356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200283153031897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010770802104922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026180606159036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806936918091505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574769153056518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19591710257443548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18587864395752,0.0,0.23066632539633214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070439438914992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23811907656332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248764404115031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378162056594628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972922877059921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LonelyHSVmonster,2019/04/08,"Feeling like i’ve tried everything :( Hi all,
 
I am posting on here looking for suggestions on what I can try next.
 
Nearly 5 years ago I was diagnosed with hsv2 which has since caused me to become very very depressed and anxious. I have tried to kill myself twice, but obviously failed. I have lost any ability to feel anything except shame, guilt, anger, sadness and disgust. I see only the bad in the world now.
Before my diagnosis I was doing well with modelling and acting in ads, I was also starting to get noticed for my stand-up shows, Now I can’t even look a casher in the eyes when thanking them. Not to mention, the stress of this all caused me to suffer from adult acne and now my face is so scarred and haggered I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without feeling sick, let alone be in any pictures. To put a long story short, my life has been completely destroyed by this diagnosis. I do feel I don’t deserve to live anymore due to this. It’s a huge mind fuck because all I think about is killing myself but I also don’t want to die. I just want to stop thinking and hurting all the time. I have tried so many different things to come to peace with my new reality.
 
I can’t remember everything but here’s a few:
 
Anti-depressants (about 10 different ones)
Counselling
Giving up weed
Giving up alcohol
Quitting smoking
Meditation
Exercise
Eating healthy
Losing weight
Reiki
Hypnotherapy
Sleep hypnosis
Hydrotherapy
Breaking up with my boyfriend
Healing crystals
Abandoning my old life, moving across the world and starting a new life from scratch
I’ve tried praying to like 50 different gods and goddesses, Spells, spiritualism and so much more.
I’ve even offered my soul to Satan  in exchange for a cure but Nah. Nothing.
 
-          Not to mention all the little wanky things I’ve been advised to do like “Think positive”  “Smell some flowers” wank wank wank.
 
I gave up seeing a psychiatrist a few weeks ago. Not her fault, she was very lovely and tried hard to make me feel better but I just come back to the same conclusion as always – hsv is incurable. No matter how hard I work to fix my mental health I will always be a walking sexual leaper. And horror and a joke. I I also felt too guilty using my cities mental health system, They are severely understaffed and underfunded and due to lots of tragedies in our city over the past 10 years heaps of people are struggling with mental illness. I just felt so guilty stealing help away from someone who might actually be able to get better.
Sorry to prattle, I used to love writing and I since I can’t talk to anyone about this I get carried away telling my story. I tried really hard to keep it as short as possible.
 
 
 
So does anyone have any suggestions on what I could try now? Electroshock therapy? LSD? DMT? Brainwashing?
If I am honest I don’t believe I will ever be happy or at peace whilst I live with this disease, but maybe I can get my brain fried or damaged or rewired or something .
Anyways, thank you guys for reading this. I am sorry its so full of self-pity. I’m currently going through a massive depressive spell.
 
Any advice on what I should try is greatly appreciated.
 
-          Also I am aware that some people might feel very angry at my for being hsv2 positive and I understand but please don’t mock and/or abuse me for it.  I haven’t slept with anyone since my diagnosis and never will,  I am not and will not be responsible for helping spread this disease.",3.974046693657222,6.200488167692312,4.651214574898784,82.02659244264508,73.47692307692307,7.392172739541161,28.018893387314442,8.261097354062574,2.0809282051282056,2719,108,492,46,57,870,329,650,0.21,0.648,0.142,-0.9948,5,1,2,0,1,4,66.0,1,1,2,8,32,38,7,4,21,0,52,21,5,6,8,93,95,45,3,5,22,0,13,3,0,7,11,0,0,2,19,27,3,3,14,4,1,7,17,24,1,2,11,20,68,14,80,69,14,67,3,10,6,3,26,30,1,10,30,322,87,4,0.0583178758270555,0.06909714664543498,0.05690983435248208,0.0,0.0,0.05698755331246792,0.10339055644281306,0.062324073660568864,0.0,0.06039973160570618,0.0,0.1865471369169123,0.09705028887147656,0.0,0.0,0.15863262147028626,0.0,0.0,0.06588260016117839,0.05783566233974247,0.12233164420928712,0.0,0.04799064280061397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958312809319876,0.04484284676336147,0.0486929903762907,0.03555003581721939,0.06440751204817598,0.04962421701431026,0.06570427562391308,0.0,0.10315484403423962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510203630250229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981704574523208,0.0,0.10047137241476714,0.061145183260648724,0.0,0.0,0.04656207847915875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15068730298746705,0.059191416382819065,0.060524747903303124,0.18278930373637606,0.0,0.0,0.051034366133486365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967374604473868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555522092435212,0.0527518574469724,0.0,0.0,0.10482469287003307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769236216456084,0.04166230214331101,0.11198861251631156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391393648038124,0.12187473255230427,0.11188764095147133,0.033143392768491466,0.0,0.0,0.06429566397951615,0.0,0.05774386579216138,0.0,0.0620804632343952,0.1567240858285582,0.0,0.0,0.12397834987468492,0.0,0.0,0.07817848575762378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243049223185975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183560757962346,0.12904017818098354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059633979190136785,0.1235749210834012,0.08547350513822617,0.05844983223440488,0.1029915055766087,0.05160948495041467,0.1469169838871501,0.06524278591555646,0.06366085046834531,0.049579772561187736,0.10526831963161276,0.0,0.03892763496028684,0.059125172736081824,0.05858814472354986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631210696867444,0.12373210071001567,0.058884430027681525,0.0,0.0,0.06198267276910612,0.042870348873680006,0.0,0.04497834102083019,0.11264753575091205,0.06202172254395004,0.0,0.0,0.05595757469786854,0.06639528815738112,0.061194800557864165,0.0,0.039517701938901965,0.044353372470606216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567101128211994,0.08086054438624135,0.0,0.0,0.06401551512867401,0.0,0.06574464257314723,0.0558524044924943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058625572711576375,0.0,0.06202823943129988,0.0583336574724803,0.0,0.037359924569367126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606278492158464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294359318665367,0.0,0.0608382631437421,0.06588260016117839,0.0,0.1447234485733222,0.0,0.05835999229952975,0.0,0.04941254693960402,0.04489594996529748,0.0,0.1305641748671438,0.08255538534169896,0.0,0.0,0.048756355493038514,0.06680292972435715,0.060966505982796834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046873699547912775,0.05097239393727322,0.10738252961566656,0.06669157346151279,0.0,0.07748761074495543,0.11210322017207658,0.0,0.0,0.034005622374690354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563460864059653,0.0,0.0,0.06071096542631895,0.0,0.10073584084081298,0.0,0.19247342039743293,0.06879478825371818,0.0,0.04677908230842112,0.0710154618301333,0.05243477406385344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056216351219029535,0.0,0.04245610816464529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510960001191799
mentalhealth,gippaloo,2019/04/08,"Obsessed with food :( What sort of doctor would I go to talk to about this issue? For the past 10 years or so I have noticed that I am obsessed with food and eating :(  I am overweight because of it and trying to lose lbs, but I CONSTANTLY think of food and eating and what I am going to have for dinner etc etc.  I sometimes give myself anxiety attacks over debating if I want to cook dinner or get take away and how much it will cost me....even my husband has commented that it is annoying because I will ask him what he wants for dinner at like 8 am....I am so over my brain and the way it works when it comes to this....",4.0853125000000015,4.215686906249998,5.123437500000001,86.82781250000002,70.5625,7.9625,26.9375,7.6454224807358475,1.3177781249999998,476,14,104,5,8,157,77,128,0.15,0.815,0.036000000000000004,-0.899,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,2,2,2,0,11,12,1,1,0,19,21,14,0,4,4,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,12,9,10,0,1,1,1,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,13,1,19,18,3,12,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,4,5,74,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226900449617593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719835232776498,0.16695772193138209,0.13788340234936067,0.0,0.0,0.17892389010654897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16382978696549422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126418499894215,0.0,0.1585926060821896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021241110632225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003389035794806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273465751053444,0.09693187444409512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5323788690371024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667468102588805,0.14078306472609287,0.16681121774272226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531765902662531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169824956484727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641839844750006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788357049964432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670842654412986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009653824227264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514681495690554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11034329588758683,0.11795803399353835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403621208609968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963863692136148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731226263272771,0.11648918813330553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068411304936474,0.0,0.0,0.1042522418168837,0.0,0.0,0.0945069499196528
mentalhealth,Wolfie4000,2019/04/08,"Who else is on Disability payments for their mental health conditions? \*raises hand\*

Been on Disability payments for 4 years now.

Diagnoses:

* **Major Depressive Disorder** ***with*** **Psychotic Features**
* **Panic Disorder** ***with*** **Agoraphobia**
* **Generalized Anxiety Disorder**
* **Personality Disorder NOS**

**NOT** in therapy currently (therapy has never really helped me anyways)

Been hospitalized in various Psyche Wards about 15+ times total.

Currently taking 4 different psychiatric medications (Sertraline, Aripiprazole, Klonopin, Lorazepam)

Also bed-bound most of the day due to depression.",7.145147727272725,-1.3774399625000022,7.987272727272727,40.38863636363641,236.125,14.081818181818182,42.70454545454545,7.13173024886023,9.654825,473,33,39,27,55,156,67,80,0.129,0.871,0.0,-0.8658,3,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,4,4,1,0,2,7,5,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,11,3,4,12,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,1,8,27,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376691649170525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839614246161688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981175217782562,0.0,0.2666007552256256,0.15708499652269828,0.0,0.16169831650426852,0.7095044293935248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928776293029182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645098212636082,0.0,0.0,0.10373689222066616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591122140122424,0.15596848553716358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936566101338746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815854383345638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513635912400188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914754502767316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636533732724125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539785403187566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024573829983447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966471473149324
mentalhealth,salsiiita,2019/04/08,"very sad I know I am loved by the people around me and I love them, but i can’t shake this feeling of being completely alone. This is a very exciting time in my life because i’m graduating soon and moving away to an amazing college but this is most suicidal i’ve felt in years. I repress my feelings until I am forced to deal with them and my heart can barely take it anymore. I never use this account but i guess if anyone sees this or is on the same boat, what are some healthy coping mechanisms? i’m tired of turning to drugs to forget about everything.",3.22928220255654,4.789716097345135,4.343834808259587,86.28226155358902,73.86725663716814,7.146116027531957,26.714847590953788,7.793537801064563,1.5126959685349068,441,16,89,6,9,144,81,113,0.203,0.643,0.153,-0.7716,0,1,1,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,2,0,3,7,0,2,4,0,9,6,1,1,1,22,22,9,1,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,4,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,1,4,14,4,15,20,3,12,0,1,1,2,5,5,0,5,5,62,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927964941242622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18461196164327887,0.13016124132235374,0.0,0.0,0.16571402677277738,0.0,0.0,0.17489517212972766,0.0,0.0,0.113476038540945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951759826052752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191370455739465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21587628303943265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16730068781535468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882472712721912,0.0,0.17873433623789114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20506652429990374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22059005820167304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230382657005503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13148409169592684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360174362994985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19784925675408246,0.0,0.0,0.14357127473596765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129053797560036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148338398543526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20361918993184186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996252920074867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854625674751316,0.21395341067414128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20247904168358316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607748613317811,0.0,0.3071884566224181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987526411462872
mentalhealth,VivereinChristo,2019/04/08,"Just going through life: I feel like I just am drifting through life; wasting it. I have no friends. I have no hobbies. I have no future. I try to songwirte but I have nothing to write about because I go to school - which I hate - and get picked on. Then I get home, do homework and chores, just relax cause I'm exhausted, eat, and then go to bed. I can write songs every few months but only one song (usually missing a verse or chorus). I try to write stories but I dont know what to write. I feel like I've already wasted a 5th of my life. I am really not happy. I used to SH (last May to July) and have recently (last month) tried it again (I'm not at risk right now👍) but luckily I didn't find it helped at all. I want friends but I can't get any because I have no hobbies or interests so everyone thinks I'm boring. I desire a relationship also but cant find a partner. I also struggle because I am bisexual and a devout Christian of a conservative denomination. I really wanna date a man even though I am in fact a male. I feel disgusting; like I'm extra fallen. I dont like how I look, who I am, i often feel inferior. I'm so sorry for ranting especially since I not have any actual problems but I would like some help. Thank you 💛",0.7638242894056866,2.8446273720930257,3.4126356589147298,87.61518087855299,83.4186046511628,6.302842377260983,23.121447028423773,7.526774132740827,1.0839291989664086,954,35,205,16,27,334,137,258,0.192,0.639,0.16899999999999998,-0.7378,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,0,0,13,20,2,2,8,0,21,5,0,4,2,47,44,22,0,5,15,0,4,5,3,2,4,2,4,3,6,5,1,1,8,4,0,5,12,9,0,1,1,7,34,11,19,41,4,21,1,2,1,0,14,5,0,5,16,128,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.10979580238121206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416015214192402,0.17995213668037066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302448299434848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20575941320037566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558115417331542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637272217804606,0.0,0.0,0.11512820064620355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431333175296859,0.0,0.09479648926052434,0.10751035135821772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22755845534480784,0.160757659723317,0.0,0.0,0.20566845957733404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385349158461333,0.0,0.17634914337954302,0.0,0.1918300471644302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977146569783463,0.0,0.11108263075655582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508292840836936,0.0,0.11285903903994765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061833833215259676,0.1834251288682184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384123547173045,0.2748392020982015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448201886869907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961253413400716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795861353602984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624126553891622,0.08557069571773547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765910311900173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415655718092313,0.0,0.11109235066741237,0.1207961340955671,0.0,0.09608491366281903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386848304720372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307136068999973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259483400794129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176223146477705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358623544616027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720933569646093,0.11054279135774836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22916545636042174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717452703480542,0.12391643406690195,0.0,0.0663626863608428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992552993078669,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thesupersneakysnake6,2019/04/08,"Mental heath survey I am taking a mental health survey for research purposes, and if it is against the rules I will take it down.

[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScDn1maCtyL9sbKWksqaHqnAM-ZyNtfm2rp2F36Cf80n44fGA/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScDn1maCtyL9sbKWksqaHqnAM-ZyNtfm2rp2F36Cf80n44fGA/viewform?usp=sf_link)",44.48846153846154,56.09983323076924,22.156923076923075,-40.63692307692307,-14.07692307692308,8.276923076923078,28.384615384615394,8.841846274778883,2.5186,328,4,18,2,2,72,22,26,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,14,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3893445800405728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.738259686073398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5508025362249503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thegoofjuice,2019/04/08,"I’ve never talked about it. So I’ve never posted about it before and literally have never talked to others about my emotions so I hope this is the right place.

For as long as I can remember I’ve suffered from depression and extreme social anxiety to the point where I start profusely sweating and really just try to exit quick/avoid any and all conversations.  Often times in these situations I close myself out and become I guess like a “clam” with a thick shell. People who don’t know me and those that I haven’t opened up to never believe me and think I am a social butterfly because I do hide it and internalize it very well saving all of the emotions for later to either take out in the gym or on myself.

I feel like these issues stem from being extremely overweight throughout almost all of my child/teenage years, having little to no friends during this time, being picked on/groped by other boys/girls for having large breast’s, molestation and made worse from my military service where I was a Army medic. 

I’ve since then lost the weight, even the weight (twice) I gained leaving the army, which made me 300+ lbs and to other people am fairly attractive I guess even though I have 0 idea of how to take or handle compliments. It’s helped a lot to know I look somewhat decent to others even though I can’t accept it myself and often times shower or go to the bathroom in the dark so I don’t have to look at myself.

I’m 29 now have a wife and a decent federal job I’m. I’ve left my hometown behind and have moved to a new state to start fresh but battle daily/weekly with my constant “ups” and “downs” . Finally this year I’ve started to realize my emotions and the bi weekly swing I go through where I’m “manic” and am a social butterfly and really am trying to control it not only for myself but for my family and wife. 

I just feel like I keep failing especially at work during those periods of low energy/depression where I really just want to go into the mountains and disappear. I’m on my low today and my coworkers (who don’t understand) keep asking me if I’m ok, why am I angry, what’s wrong, and saying things like I shouldn’t be angry, or you don’t have kids what’s your problem, which just perpetuates my current feelings. I know some of it might be out of compassion but also realize some just want to egg me on being the “big guy” in the office I just don’t want to blow a fuse on them so I go for a walk. 

Idk I don’t want this to be a soapbox but I just felt like getting some things off my chest and my mind. 

Thanks for reading 🙏",5.599244186046512,5.485631598837212,6.4625736434108525,79.36420930232559,67.31395348837209,9.36062015503876,28.052713178294567,9.029198982220553,2.0798903875969,2019,56,399,32,30,671,243,516,0.099,0.8079999999999999,0.093,-0.7545,3,1,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,1,5,29,24,2,0,25,1,33,9,3,5,7,96,73,42,0,8,18,2,7,5,1,2,2,1,1,2,29,30,4,3,14,2,0,7,15,10,1,1,5,10,52,14,64,60,9,66,0,6,2,2,19,34,0,17,28,277,81,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922913146936553,0.0,0.0,0.06327373707812209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053805590098092666,0.0,0.06052801993885254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396827505988561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048231962314563614,0.08738389772248073,0.06732689039274077,0.08914326168592164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550264132273773,0.08874191380486847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629511479431214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670043889810523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677776218089787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458906470820174,0.0,0.1200191962624378,0.11304937059674178,0.07596941064023782,0.0866741496658197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611293665058119,0.0,0.041337915507197634,0.0,0.17986714603672602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17432333731746666,0.07834309853031783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053033726861182816,0.0,0.0,0.0785858774147186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931896927036037,0.0,0.08258268389755799,0.07851625499484971,0.14065432081066515,0.0,0.0,0.13044994444308486,0.0,0.0,0.08377864427625173,0.08596615172008361,0.0,0.0,0.1932747644248382,0.07930090760293602,0.0,0.07002037201877387,0.13288489996930047,0.0,0.08637087615014571,0.06726659106704899,0.0,0.14973406769286582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970696782391838,0.0,0.08393580880242907,0.07989054145014468,0.0,0.0,0.08409403446247461,0.0,0.0,0.2440946794250465,0.0764164026036615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017575342328889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970629536421496,0.0,0.0826655220512967,0.0,0.07479574895712231,0.0,0.0757768876101924,0.0,0.0,0.07570895139653219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914328928806683,0.0,0.15206250282019518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962966364128452,0.06756965131315883,0.0,0.06292089293367822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545043492606094,0.08893630570622943,0.0,0.2419643710440805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800861700129838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897961050915093,0.12719033655904427,0.0,0.0728447947042103,0.0,0.0,0.1051301197138594,0.05069810448275136,0.15547368639863085,0.0,0.13840980965185712,0.0,0.07499828866113609,0.0,0.0,0.1074371226380952,0.0,0.0,0.08236866515629926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528383548538898,0.1866725339772808,0.0,0.12693359560086728,0.1926982631664886,0.0711400702835705,0.0,0.07139518807945715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576016693639544,0.0,0.08063195303328352,0.0,0.08650735259662289,0.0,0.1019037903607977
mentalhealth,goblinthot,2019/04/08,"Does anyone else feel ""addicted"" to their depression...? Not sure how to explain it but I've been this way for a looooong, long time. I subconsciously put myself into situations where I know I'll end up sad. Constantly. When I'm in a good mood, I tend to put on music that throws me onto the feels train until I end up sobbing and sad for the next day. I create scenarios in my mind where things are highly depressing. I watch a lot of things that are depressing, for the sole reason of feeling sad, myself. It's weird, I don't understand it and I've never met anyone who has felt the same so I was wondering if I could find someome who relates.

I can't explain to to anyone in person without them saying I need help. Lol. I mean like obviously.",1.965727069351232,4.227007630872489,3.7269530201342285,86.03454586129754,80.0738255033557,6.926353467561523,22.68501118568233,8.021203637495839,1.300551319910515,583,19,117,11,15,195,100,149,0.17,0.7120000000000001,0.118,-0.8523,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,0,5,12,0,0,7,1,8,1,0,2,3,28,22,8,0,3,4,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,10,3,0,0,12,0,0,3,5,8,0,0,4,6,18,3,20,17,2,25,0,7,1,0,10,11,1,3,11,76,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806868909191593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041568925100209,0.1485670847181598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15669079774987668,0.0,0.11576871373362516,0.0,0.0,0.0935113990522872,0.0,0.37465843047913894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688829872852667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112681450990433,0.0,0.25684951386562593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21994529428249768,0.0,0.13922034891150525,0.0,0.13252509792211756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161703260908566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718877500124602,0.15319783096302908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796868398644365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083845961748987,0.0,0.0,0.12831823415783947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327169843123567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794479662163655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640615165608706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751381692215806,0.11183101905952413,0.0,0.15420649758302207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660623352252048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29152509365552426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490815902938265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153078402771024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629832771766096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366584378532074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265980641844827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454921452424846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094752224339528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509227490961163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977242605992754,0.15724361516698285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,midwestblondiee,2019/04/08,"Graduating in 3 weeks with my nursing degree. Struggling with anxiety/depression/severe stress about finding a job. I keep writing posts and deleting them. It’s been a rough couple of months. I’ve applied for well over 30 jobs in that time, and I have been rejected from many of them or completely left hanging about my application status. I check job postings daily and have applied for 3 different health networks with no success. 

I have excellent experience compared to some other people who are in my cohort. However, I guess that experience means nothing because no one will even give me a phone call or an interview. 

It’s so depressing and my stress levels have been sky high. The reality of this career has hit me. Med surg seems like my only option as a new grad and I hate it. It’s dangerous to my own mental health not to mention my patients. 

I feel sad. I feel alone. I’m not sleeping well maybe 5-6 hours a night. My left eye has been twitching daily since January. The anxiety I feel is overwhelming.",3.2946858638743417,6.005760706806289,4.444447643979056,80.20771858638743,78.05759162303664,7.589633507853402,28.39816753926701,8.548686976883017,2.5759484816753937,809,36,141,18,20,264,125,191,0.168,0.7609999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9514,5,2,0,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,2,2,6,14,2,4,8,0,13,5,2,0,0,23,24,9,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,9,8,0,1,6,0,1,1,4,9,2,1,4,5,21,5,19,18,2,18,0,4,1,0,9,9,0,6,7,88,30,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621300419124454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322463110407553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428637015952756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443544064137603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777072125965527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483875846503127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496016399366337,0.0,0.0,0.127320583195077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048916330762629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23841020628158804,0.0,0.0,0.18485232638167667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138029906381294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169018050323786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424550175827402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031418584927067,0.0,0.2590687007436785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287546321121556,0.0,0.0,0.12001021104314585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627897747999827,0.10831716603331146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648083578361876,0.0,0.0,0.05953595915886563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354964957563087,0.12242746050302067,0.13274420437424944,0.1353619864967084,0.0,0.12280893807648507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726964362239886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769575397020515,0.0,0.1143598877101289,0.0,0.11693054624777068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257731860470366,0.09268207385543406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448425147110117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334215591658787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109392242338306,0.0,0.13767016291654066,0.0,0.10080608382278763,0.0,0.12195070668171107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791866197130969,0.1273973521167985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105911972127367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775090641127196,0.0,0.21913840286213704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,garce777,2019/04/08,"when a dead girl tries to stay alive have you ever wanted to live in a dark room. nothing to see or hear or watch. just you and your flesh and the floor and walls. just your thoughts in your head that feel like they are so real. hours and hours go by and you do not have to do a thing. just what you do best, think. think about everything. about where you are and if you will leave and if you are dead and if you aren’t dead, would you want to be? when a dead girl tries to stay alive she does it by dreaming. dreaming in her box. her dark box, 6 feet below. she thinks about her loved ones standing on the soil above her. it is only a dream. there are no loved ones. there is no box. there is no girl. there is only me. me and my thoughts and me dreaming to be a dead girl, trying to stay alive.",-0.06564933042665899,1.9915701834319528,0.6564621613204622,106.19855808159454,86.81065088757397,3.7945811273746495,13.62846465275615,4.4396938790447145,-1.6778,607,8,156,1,19,183,80,169,0.14800000000000002,0.723,0.129,-0.6908,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,12,1,1,15,4,0,0,8,0,18,5,3,0,1,30,31,18,5,6,9,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,1,4,5,10,0,0,6,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,4,23,4,18,25,1,19,0,0,2,2,26,9,0,5,6,106,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454404546667946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288713543330796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320834229615758,0.0,0.0,0.1323510132601252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446089260501387,0.10520513349375213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369328820694624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113492223985456,0.0,0.16597676142208645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900499315611917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559308717683858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194554833859336,0.0,0.13003644224505795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265822267368028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130338011148627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957923081386805,0.22400118244149447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676181981510081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173500097876948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4708901579779446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783538130578047,0.2830816742366776,0.0,0.23382167163130585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29994691973060456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17371975405993836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046118245363792,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ImpossibleSouffle,2019/04/08,"Anxiety Research Hello all! I'm doing a project on anxiety and trying to really understand the perspective of people who struggle with it or who have and how they've gotten past it. The information gathered is going to be more generalized before it's applied to my project. I would be grateful if you guys could help, but if this is against the rules I don't mind taking it down. Thank you!

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[https://forms.gle/j8WQ8Y1NV2PC6xvv8](https://forms.gle/j8WQ8Y1NV2PC6xvv8)",8.292857142857144,11.748676987012992,6.629870129870131,67.1219480519481,64.84415584415585,8.555844155844158,31.779220779220786,9.23628265651192,3.3339402597402596,396,16,55,8,7,117,60,77,0.057,0.8420000000000001,0.101,0.6524,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,9,0,0,1,1,15,15,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,8,10,2,4,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,3,1,42,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631041382729738,0.2950627129308533,0.0,0.0,0.3715256543461365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20662882276277406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387847386613716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800480173103274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404379903256749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627625527352477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24518715231654106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23180689218573136,0.16834642539214195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556189491207964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538566473613513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825765062731158,0.0,0.0,0.2235634838669132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486433609388088,0.0,0.0,0.2527926095280099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17249811081823865,0.0,0.2950627129308533,0.0
mentalhealth,conchwasp,2019/04/08,"I'm getting divorced, and I am not handling it well, at all. Diagnosed Bipolar I and generalized anxiety. With the help of my Psychiatrist, my mood and anxiety have been managed well for a few years now. However, my husband announced last week that he feels it is time to end our marriage, and I'm suddenly back to feeling down, worthless, and panicky as hell.

Due to my issues with my mental health, in addition to a handful of problems with my physical health, I have been unable to work since 2017. My husband took control of the money and our assets, and after the divorce is finalized, I won't have anything- no home, no car, no health insurance.

The rational part of me knows that I'll figure out housing and transportation and that everything will be okay, but I am experiencing episodes of intense suicidal ideation, which is something I had managed to kick a long time ago. But now I can't stop thinking about how I am about to lose the life I have been building for the past seven years, and that my best option is to die rather than struggle on my own.

I really don't know how to make this stop. How do I convince myself that suicide isn't the answer?",8.158874847125968,7.023782058295968,8.084973501834487,73.20526701997557,62.497757847533634,11.158418263350999,40.00366897676315,10.230975488527342,4.070653811659192,921,44,169,17,11,298,132,223,0.159,0.738,0.103,-0.9557,1,0,1,0,2,1,27.0,2,0,0,4,11,11,1,1,10,1,22,7,1,5,1,37,32,16,3,2,4,2,3,0,0,2,6,0,1,0,9,15,0,3,7,0,1,3,8,5,2,1,5,4,24,5,29,24,5,27,1,2,0,0,9,5,1,1,19,125,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920880056062733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20575434493724895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066594790132538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340716135600063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411289304255372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15083125436652658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649482106005276,0.1395694703660461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910975851293497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086235277285245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599470753005635,0.0,0.0,0.1473167543354293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702604821275113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4288392738911795,0.0,0.0,0.090139407673729,0.0,0.13489485137438195,0.0,0.0,0.15517237804012154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036264564467485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781387139985072,0.10961951168238768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498751548535288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901096212580335,0.0,0.15044921938357378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976674141113612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355246585967005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562921709927446,0.12837680169773352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867962405028585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615161674679911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124361393016192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352961681472952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248633476016733,0.0,0.1405881601304936,0.0,0.2941995599208295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616963918485042,0.0,0.0,0.15683325808761545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494127227651395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078721013828411,0.0,0.2418281413264977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790336574073898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732019951543963
mentalhealth,Gonomi2000,2019/04/08,"Felt like I was tripping after I got done eating I was on break at work and after I got done eating, I started feeling really high and seeing trippy visuals. My reflection even looked stoned as my eyes were red and glassy. I had been around my food the entire time so the chance that I could’ve been drugged is slim. I still feel it and it’s been 2 hours. Help",1.2712162162162173,3.5664857837837864,2.368851351351349,94.55435810810816,83.05405405405406,5.321621621621622,17.35810810810811,6.6274283507984215,-0.18785945945945934,284,6,61,3,8,90,53,74,0.0,0.868,0.132,0.7893,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,10,5,1,0,0,9,18,6,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,12,7,11,1,6,6,0,12,0,0,4,0,1,4,0,0,7,39,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18138528125781975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626819068118698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4170245195170403,0.0,0.0,0.2362912849235805,0.4169847700209776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345783542892801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20604945103737413,0.0,0.19563689616566216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246381535018952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259232121704161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13657278143637355,0.21527850190901196,0.0,0.0,0.2006577784684896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995444737574353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110300815937105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053076593246782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16236647352758718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442189432220866,0.0,0.16271912523540633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881126596861835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833617522308418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,burneraddy,2019/04/08,"I'm not sure what to do I'll probably never see this again.  I made a burner account to throw this up here, if you couldn't tell from the username.  I have been on autopilot for the last 6 months, and before that I was dealing with my ex's descent into paranoid schizophrenia that wound up destroying all of my friendships, my credit, and all of my interests.  By the way, their mental health decline started about 2 months after I moved 2k miles across the country with them which made everything that much worse.  The ex was simultaneously screaming at me because they believed that I was controlling their cell signals, bugging their vehicle, burying bodies in our garden, etc... while also telling everyone I know that I was sexually assaulting them, drugging them, and all sorts of other horrific shit.

​

So the long and short of it is that I now have literally zero friends, a majority of my family will no longer allow me to be in their company unless its a large gathering, I lost basically everything I own except for what I could fit into my car and drag back across the country, and I have completely stopped giving a fuck.  I have no interest in anything anymore.  Nothing makes me happy.  Nothing makes me sad.  Nothing phases me.  More and more I feel like I'm witnessing my life from the back of a long movie theater while lying in a sensory deprivation tank.  I feel physical things as if they are being relayed to me verbally through an unbiased third party.  Time is blurred, I can't tell yesterday from 3 weeks ago, and tomorrow seems as far away as the present.  I pick up my guitar and sit stone still, unable to play.  I downloaded my entire steam library and opened each game for about 5 minutes before losing interest and moving onto the next until I was out of them.  I open photoshop and stare at the blank canvass until I wake up, the skin on my forehead creased from where I fell asleep with it resting on the edge of my desk.  I went to a theme park some months ago and sat on a bench near the entrance for 2 hours and left.  I cant tell if my lack of interest and emotion is caused by grief, or if the onset of this was merely coincidental with the bullshit I went through last year.  My ex used to scream at me that I was becoming ""boring"", but at the time I thought it was due to stress from dealing with their mental decline.  Now I don't know.  Maybe my own dissociation exacerbated their grounding to reality. 

​

I can't get help.  I can't afford it.  As I said before, my reputation has been completely destroyed, and unfortunately that extends to most of my professional contacts I've made over the years as my ex saw to it that everyone I knew on facebook was DM'd copy-pasted testimonials of my crimes.  I tried to appeal to people, but I quickly found my friends list shrinking, and those left generally either ignore me or are just ""friends-list 'friends'"" and not anyone I really care about anyways.  So I'm stuck with jobs with shit pay, shit benefits, and zero mental health plans.  I cant even afford the normal doctor, and fortunately the last time I got sick I had leftover antibiotics or I likely would have had to make the choice between a doctors visit and rent.  I finally wrote a cease and desist letter on some fake attorney's letterhead and sent it to my ex's family and since then new slander has stopped, but the damage has been done.  But that's beside the point.  I am   stuck. I am alone.  I am detached.  Nothing helps.  I have had multiple dreams of suicide and when I wake up I feel relief, not fear.  I don'y know how to meet new people, being well out of school and in a job where I come into almost zero contact with other humans.  I keep looking up local events, thinking that I can break the isolation, then I remember that I would almost certainly wind up sitting in a corner, more miserable than ever.  

​

I used to be a very social person, now I feel abject terror when the store clerk asks me if I have a rewards card.  I used to draw, animate, and play in a band.  Now anytime I start to attempt to think about doing anything creative I immediately hate myself for having the arrogance to think that I can do anything worthwhile.  I think about going back to school and hate myself for the same reasons.  Then I hate myself for being a coward.  Then I hate myself for hating myself and then usually wake up with the same forehead-desk-marks as listed above.  I hate myself right now for writing this, and was only really able to by creating a fake e-mail, reddit account, and using a VPN to do so, but I guarantee that I will probably delete this post tomorrow when I am overcome with remorse and shame for posting something that is anonymous and untraceable.",7.572880434782611,7.157916963210705,7.7077125139353395,73.08658549331103,63.314381270903006,10.507329988851732,35.40990802675586,9.928628108626363,3.4428610367892976,3744,150,670,68,48,1217,422,897,0.183,0.742,0.075,-0.9987,5,2,2,0,0,1,106.0,1,1,12,6,32,50,13,5,47,0,61,19,10,16,7,133,118,70,2,11,20,5,5,2,3,4,8,3,2,2,34,52,0,5,17,7,6,11,13,30,1,4,34,12,115,20,122,73,20,126,0,7,4,1,48,51,4,16,60,488,149,10,0.05428994076407124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624951363953152,0.0,0.1087270670190436,0.05622800564211073,0.0,0.04341564601461241,0.0,0.17646938440732055,0.1979046610754516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384103309570045,0.03796078888623541,0.0,0.13402798633826282,0.0,0.050753766011109584,0.0,0.051007186463411465,0.12523683998855986,0.0,0.033094643988765785,0.05995897422989571,0.1385902228414385,0.06116617213814171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060303885397826724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05535221284385177,0.05577072401715336,0.0,0.04676597680836735,0.1138439399635625,0.0,0.06089078493426903,0.0433461000874249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119410901289163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111361096675799,0.0,0.055557458466478325,0.0,0.0,0.0629590953708716,0.0,0.0,0.06106887613332505,0.0,0.0,0.06054763484966631,0.03585799385404325,0.04910835957886879,0.0,0.103752729888739,0.09758459624631692,0.0,0.10235944894274347,0.06109127686155445,0.10980250112206463,0.038784744529495575,0.0,0.05947197643570016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05952611785659144,0.12583282068690174,0.05019017541993319,0.028364253314555683,0.052079858133901334,0.030854224448397555,0.0,0.04342062510950077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0577926514607003,0.0,0.3216004609402068,0.0,0.1154153366402506,0.0,0.0,0.07277880582264135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346465577683325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774877826611252,0.0482553938232062,0.0,0.0,0.0895089949179736,0.13276064311376254,0.0,0.0,0.1179723589807724,0.0,0.03834659070595624,0.0530466455329869,0.0,0.0,0.0960897783427962,0.04558987697084477,0.060736556885964015,0.059263883533176465,0.0,0.0,0.15411136388044716,0.10871687108494944,0.0,0.054541542561512606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413447347952248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000113828490306,0.11540323049532047,0.039909353142238216,0.0,0.04187174918593666,0.10486712618394753,0.05773796790853929,0.0,0.05319261510293158,0.20837064948370296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04128994634950129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051825891494148985,0.07527561836953904,0.047403882214552925,0.0,0.0,0.051321542081683776,0.0,0.10398951225249248,0.0,0.11706747687788352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955905245369494,0.0558191010823311,0.0,0.0,0.061499919694237175,0.04636331277732016,0.051642165937972016,0.0,0.0,0.1098886369096956,0.043262053846639004,0.049423523084033666,0.0,0.0,0.1671835320807209,0.04490920001680769,0.0,0.0,0.055341757715516283,0.0,0.04179504876670972,0.0,0.0,0.07685339900320245,0.0,0.0433560168233627,0.09077764284278142,0.06218894371868069,0.0,0.0,0.059384383581946185,0.0,0.05116762667507934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18980720461520206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03606782429600577,0.13914720763955193,0.0,0.04310014872144223,0.0949707031430055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036859306093498086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18755631114840535,0.0597926997265659,0.04479488683291095,0.0,0.04309282798978222,0.04354811576219275,0.0,0.048813176706676224,0.10065463799187166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532608775798563,0.07713203252859976,0.0,0.1979046610754516,0.06992188377287124
mentalhealth,thatcrackasunny,2019/04/08,"Hope For Borderline Personality Disorder Sufferers Hi guys, I recently came across [this](https://www.rose-minded.com/blog/hope-borderline-personality-disorder) and I figured it may be helpful to some of you out there. Cheers and good health!",13.998333333333328,15.547955500000004,11.424444444444447,45.215,49.55555555555557,17.2,51.33333333333334,15.247664890283005,9.115433333333335,202,12,24,9,2,61,30,36,0.152,0.5489999999999999,0.299,0.7088,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,3,5,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,3,1,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904284116403762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5820518382289095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129845385749755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514307434686521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699158452190105,0.0,0.0,0.17020400805899194,0.0,0.0,0.5044198137471572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22172198785826272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507253609689822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IAmAGoodGuyISwear,2019/04/08,"How can I deal with trust issues, anxiety, and self-consciousness? *throwaway account but will reply*

[18M] I have had a pretty easy life and didn’t really have any troubles until I got into High School. I’ve always been a quiet person until I get to know people and can let my guard down. I don’t really have an explanation/catalyst for my trust issues except for a relationship with a girl that I invested in and got burned. I don’t have many IRL friends that I consider close enough to talk about personal issues like this. I enjoy gaming and have people I spend time with online but I believe my gaming has changed from a healthy way of coping into a way for me to avoid facing my issues. It’s not rare for me to spend 8+ hours a day playing video games. I rarely hang out with my “friends” in real life even though they try to invite me to hang out. I live about 30 miles from the nearest town that has anything remotely enjoyable stuff to do but only about 10 miles from any of my friends. I’m about to graduate from high school and just feel like such a loser for the amount of time I have wasted on playing stupid games. Recently these three girls have been trying to talk to me more (not interested in being in a dating relationship with them and they all have BFs anyway) but I can’t quite tell if they are just trying to toy with me or actually care and I’m just blinded to it because of my trust issues. I think in the back of my mind I know they actually care but it’s just so hard for me to let my guard down to people. I have skipped all of my high school homecomings and proms due to these issues. Prom is coming up and I missed the deadline for a ticket but could probably still get one. I’m terrified of going but feel like I have to because if I don’t I will have missed my last chance for something “fun” in high school, but it doesn’t feel like it’s for me. At the same time though I want to spice my life up but am afraid. This may seem dramatic but it’s very real in my mind.

I believe another one of those issues that affect me is my self-consciousness. I am a little overweight but have a lot of fat for my weight. I used to be very tall and skinny but I would get teased for it (wouldn’t call it bullying as I really don’t believe it was malicious) and it got to my head and I took up eating and gaming as a coping mechanism. I’ve been reading and seeing that exercise can help with depression/sadness (don’t think I’m depressed as I feel fine occasionally and only occasionally dwell on these issues, but been affecting me more lately) but I’m interested in eating healthier and getting fit as I am not comfortable in my own body. I have a small penis that also contributes to my self-consciousness and lack of motivation (yet another mental barrier) for perusing a girlfriend. I think I may have a puberty issue but am too embarrassed to talk to my doctor.

Anxiety is obviously another issue I deal with (pretty obvious, heh). I am going to be going into college this year and have to idea what I’m going to do with my life. Some people tell me it’s okay to not know what I want to do yet. But others (like my family) insist on me knowing what I want to do and I swear the people telling me that I need to know what I want to do are ten times louder than the ones reassuring me.

I never really understood why people commit suicide and always said, “I would never do that” and I’m not saying I’ve had suicidal thoughts, but I can understand how someone feels when they feel terrible all the time. I’m not only looking for advice, but maybe some people just to talk stuff out with. Thank you for reading this far if you happen to. This kind of went into a rant (didn’t intend for it to be) but I needed to get some of this off my chest as I haven’t told anybody.

Probably some edits incoming...",4.328974358974359,5.077507304909564,5.628178294573643,81.22246422182471,70.26614987080103,8.899582587954683,26.254124428543033,9.110194879830821,1.9446508447624729,3010,88,608,57,52,1011,300,774,0.102,0.754,0.14400000000000002,0.9825,0,1,1,0,0,2,66.0,0,2,6,3,24,39,2,4,26,2,68,17,6,7,8,137,126,59,2,14,35,0,8,5,4,7,9,3,0,4,37,41,6,4,20,13,4,9,19,12,0,5,18,15,89,27,114,94,15,73,0,4,3,0,39,40,0,12,27,426,126,13,0.0,0.0,0.0931805719128326,0.0,0.0,0.0466539120170291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038180063921283515,0.07945200969430856,0.0,0.0,0.06493376127701063,0.15018811087803358,0.07304653643077344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039288425221278456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036711423914268466,0.0,0.0582073855364457,0.0,0.0,0.1613700527179864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303171576476965,0.0,0.0,0.04875094618471625,0.0,0.09735435118719456,0.0,0.05050576888850485,0.04112637143033118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03811890468056668,0.0,0.0,0.03079028860269043,0.09844188371864164,0.04112098032538049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886698875381062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770602652241543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04933128676753975,0.0,0.031533804586843586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04500785618007337,0.0,0.14484178734135064,0.1023228371270853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065838190232913,0.0,0.12471874819791065,0.0,0.10853380012219206,0.0,0.11455332773062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04221898172726215,0.0,0.04276835487861508,0.0,0.04899809707949198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03200112993237392,0.20177242460121125,0.0,0.0,0.04701724291749288,0.0,0.0,0.05389604144789244,0.0,0.4983129329166997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049716992909517865,0.13119153504967074,0.038916921322236,0.05385618928028209,0.0,0.0,0.09764091478387077,0.13488918569346556,0.1166241034728266,0.04785103363750543,0.04215794818674222,0.0,0.04009209989238585,0.0,0.0,0.04058939562137512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04840391360015299,0.047964265708797305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04811371985593403,0.0,0.09641365027978213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080166664941154,0.07364469757639673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705568754270516,0.1089321202591162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23169291827041824,0.08337470102181467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971436001930749,0.10295006894050644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078056271571764,0.09551185005014738,0.10868398413251497,0.12234156636029934,0.0,0.047140457767180434,0.10251624029126112,0.0,0.0,0.04541453087860736,0.037967153911361316,0.0,0.19327388011330265,0.03804499374890695,0.043463438731933896,0.14941910001368808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04045249328072571,0.03675489783035961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03812762553691115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093086368279825,0.10444619713002168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534960760733369,0.12518847241999134,0.043955344611708975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09177536965057692,0.09381452019260893,0.037902613095924936,0.13919665103485165,0.0,0.0,0.04562048734489022,0.053044235347804655,0.09724309956854676,0.0,0.0,0.04970215204604507,0.0,0.04123462740872327,0.0,0.07878595850222173,0.11264024552241728,0.07579235037272072,0.0,0.058138118158985175,0.0,0.04425824403499457,0.043080636144190165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783052200419384,0.0,0.0,0.03074492996195732
mentalhealth,SupremeBananus,2019/04/08,"I need someone to talk to I've never been at a point where I feel as hopeless as I do now. I was always a positive person and nothing ever brought me down but after switching to a new school over a year ago things have really changed for me. I switched schools because I have social anxiety and felt very uncomfortable at my old school. I was always worried something was going to happen and I was incredibly nervous about everything. I was scared to go to school because I feared something would go wrong. Because of this I thought switching to online school would be great. Honestly this is a nightmare. My first school year, they told me nothing. I had no idea what was going on. It made me get really far behind and it was really stressful. Finally summer came, which I didn't get to enjoy because the whole time I was lead to believe that I failed my grade. That's what I was told but this semester I was sent everything for the next grade and they revealed that I passed and everything was great. I was excited and positive that I'd do good this school year and everything would be okay and all of this would be over. It isn't over. They give me so many assignments and I just can't do them all. I have an incredibly hard time focusing on school work, I really can't focus at all. I'm not used to it and I have so much trouble doing the school work. It isn't because I don't care, all I want to do is pass this school year and if I don't then I don't know what's going to happen. I was always so excited about my future but now I'm told I won't be accepted at college and I'm going to fail. Every time I say anything my school is brought up. Last night while trying to sleep I started panicking really bad thinking about everything that's going. Not a panic attack, I don't know what you call it. It was just sudden bursts of crying and shaking and curling up and a couple of times I started feeling like I was about to throw up. I have urges to hit myself in the head. I'm scared, I'm worried, I don't know what to do anymore. I really need someone to talk to and help me right now before this gets even worse. If anyone could tell me some site I can go to to get help or talk to someone that would be great. Thanks for reading this.",2.8787596944770826,4.405646776086961,4.136909518213867,87.5465158636898,74.71739130434783,7.233842538190365,25.258519388954173,7.917944638633933,1.3378331374853114,1767,59,369,26,37,580,189,460,0.159,0.7040000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.8654,0,0,2,0,0,1,35.0,0,1,4,6,15,27,1,7,12,1,54,2,2,3,6,58,99,30,0,11,10,0,4,1,0,6,0,1,0,1,28,18,0,0,11,1,0,17,15,14,0,1,28,5,56,13,51,58,7,65,0,3,0,0,20,19,0,4,30,249,84,21,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830527703445462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602908964331434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041687444997744745,0.0,0.05404299556773757,0.038103183159211504,0.0,0.04484357905216317,0.0,0.0,0.0619943223082585,0.0,0.0,0.04549986905358719,0.16609392461151976,0.0,0.046370029003955184,0.0613956118539085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055644045206425234,0.0623261464176733,0.05555984388463806,0.0,0.057646989590087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04350869513851288,0.06029611767301959,0.05985864663886392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03599250035707008,0.04929256937440907,0.045913197444846295,0.0,0.2448766117212705,0.0,0.0,0.061320435638521714,0.05510719000245291,0.03893022953288662,0.052322389378925326,0.05969506107370365,0.0,0.04635221737338386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388260053896547,0.05227521428305565,0.24775969096237666,0.04570663545260064,0.0,0.18023811656508168,0.0,0.0,0.09637699825967752,0.0,0.04881555043574065,0.0,0.055926141794040186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305180555334348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151662688577929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984475106609692,0.04441954667186114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02662281409354578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156314974073862,0.0,0.055247944241525515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04005905665189567,0.08081260873999663,0.042028813816533166,0.0526302460196759,0.05795454812735645,0.05113854002320474,0.0,0.1045761330998088,0.0,0.05718185288326316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639364831959587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04758169836490782,0.0,0.0,0.051514053720328426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05450833386702444,0.0,0.20945992381512768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04653722565978092,0.0,0.04333548769696336,0.10911517439739783,0.6066546139251751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054532941745346133,0.05554934953819247,0.13851671860664316,0.08390365137451432,0.0,0.0,0.07714168289291819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624222199410087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139964346032554,0.04762979705233019,0.050170373583533136,0.0,0.0,0.03620311789155908,0.034917290277291686,0.0,0.043261821187226435,0.12710259552163586,0.0,0.0,0.1562128733177733,0.0,0.0369975686072018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706496286056552,0.0,0.04496291641108263,0.0321417295685084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084014395070776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934396088998016,0.11068176582118276,0.05553362080126667,0.19355340399321685,0.059580182978319865,0.0,0.14036833387310702
mentalhealth,exxplosionz,2019/04/08,"Feeling guilt for everything I did I am currently in I very bad state. I am diagnosed with depression, borderline personality disorder, anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder (got that going on for me, huh). Since a few weeks I feel nothing but guilt or emptiness. I know I didn’t do everything wrong and I know humans make mistakes but there is this great feeling of being guilty and I can’t really put it on one thing... it eats me up, can’t sleep, puts me in a very bad mood and also ups my anxiety... 

Does anyone of you know this feeling and knows what I can do about it? Thanks for your help",3.9356513409961735,5.524411913793106,5.305632183908049,79.98036398467436,72.10344827586206,9.638314176245213,29.26819923371648,9.994966539143718,3.0076946360153265,466,19,91,13,9,156,74,116,0.263,0.599,0.138,-0.9328,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,0,3,10,0,2,2,1,11,4,1,1,0,19,23,9,0,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,8,6,1,0,8,0,0,3,3,7,0,1,3,4,16,2,13,19,1,12,0,1,0,0,5,6,0,1,2,62,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195491146562432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141934213582852,0.0,0.0,0.09788859890495127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23378196059914536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057852289611587,0.14209319725158714,0.0,0.0,0.4813433255962864,0.0,0.12251161902792485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14325106384744932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516391171396609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28314514282909503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956306731675122,0.0,0.1119677509412184,0.1543463059774824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938365026251748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077530036996644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344855134359227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13433013070409602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486504901686547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223928292281876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28146969869473315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968515125244368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580630425679972,0.0,0.14009730471368126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888969291907498,0.0,0.0,0.0930072553672922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310230550434884,0.0,0.0,0.11229650810701113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306386896545704,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whoknowsmeirl,2019/04/08,"Am I broken? Everything is unraveling before me, making me constantly feel as though I’m hopelessly clutching at strings. 

I always knew how I suffered with anxiety but believed it to be somewhat under control. Oh was I wrong. I feel so fucking alone all the time, like I’m there but not there almost as if I’m watching another version of me put on a fake face and be with my friends and family. 

Not only this but I find myself justifying all the times they’ve hurt me like I’m just remembering all the old good times instead of living in the more shit ones now. 

Another thing I’ve lost all of my really close friends who I’ve known for years because they outgrew me. Don’t get me wrong my friends and boyfriend are great, tho it really is like they don’t want me around sometimes.

At home everything is just piling up and there’s noting I can do. No matter how much I clean and tidy it reverts to its original clusterfuck. I can feel myself beginning to snap at everyone around me and it’s visibly pushed people away. It’s the only thing I can do as I feel the anger building. I’m scared that if I didn’t do something, I may drive myself to the point of insanity. But yeah. That’s that.

(My anxiety and stress levels are constantly high and was just wondering if this is normal or am I broken?)

Thanks for taking the time to read, help would be very much appreciated.",3.5745020053475898,5.303894077205887,4.8060828877005335,82.62635026737968,73.30147058823529,8.327807486631016,27.06951871657754,8.97023862654752,2.1630455882352932,1087,40,214,23,22,359,145,272,0.183,0.645,0.172,-0.5088,0,1,1,0,0,1,24.0,0,0,2,2,16,21,3,2,9,1,24,3,2,5,4,52,43,24,0,6,13,0,4,3,3,2,0,0,2,0,14,13,0,2,9,1,0,3,6,12,0,1,5,5,31,9,26,33,9,28,0,4,1,1,7,14,2,8,14,145,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909577466981342,0.11283736427085435,0.0,0.0,0.09065353857423328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284831435606148,0.16668998137414293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19397379696850908,0.0,0.0,0.10236031695730076,0.0,0.0,0.06641374447714493,0.0,0.0927068002297324,0.1227471891949215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23546836166002905,0.12219454703939675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041045689141726,0.19583103665379376,0.0,0.10270656317095272,0.0,0.2203497114200013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957658054804464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525190723542801,0.10072075368854372,0.05692088038648713,0.0,0.0,0.0913804889299514,0.0,0.12011565390478846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302560823584356,0.11510963880698895,0.10928381740818732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663118372051813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967960085898145,0.0,0.09620315953898724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892971016795773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272369610665219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017876383480611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674599638287167,0.0,0.0,0.11432269347000965,0.0,0.07382604541914331,0.16571986374965494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07553088779940803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299116023556597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952292216839332,0.0,0.0,0.10897757295417616,0.0,0.1395898725274156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341694787000862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907604429176808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118336488140362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838735624454617,0.1077524468585934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479966905938113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081915404963308,0.0,0.0,0.1003047636839504,0.0,0.0,0.14476053995048999,0.0,0.10704094531812804,0.0,0.2541140297906586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989358426135224,0.0642604062613726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814955624890447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739359730076215,0.2382352670321112,0.0,0.07015899799116225
mentalhealth,Danobi2,2019/04/08,"How do you manage your mental health? Hey, I'm currently doing some research into mental health management, specifically anxiety and chronic stress. I personally have suffered from anxiety before and I'm trying to create better solutions for self-management. If you could help by filling out this questionnaire it would be greatly appreciated! It only takes about 3 minutes. Thanks in advance. :D 

[https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DB69BRQ](https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DB69BRQ)",9.64231746031746,14.330257200000002,8.17761904761905,50.286269841269856,69.85714285714286,9.968253968253967,36.349206349206355,9.725611199111238,5.533015873015874,404,20,41,12,9,123,59,70,0.118,0.628,0.254,0.8961,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,0,2,2,5,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,0,9,10,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,3,8,7,1,6,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,2,1,26,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350623187653179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18634926463016385,0.0,0.0,0.19368395599346644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485029701810825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414436019823915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4655645110238485,0.0,0.0,0.1467882437987059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44139244177941855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665561461933346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912186533115719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284603421539813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25085890676490896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16465755952063216,0.0,0.0,0.20162187568859505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868374791113495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556830683769668,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TyRJo,2019/04/08,"any possible diagnosis for me? so if I stay home for too long I start to get scared of going outside and sometimes can't make myself do it but eventually have to do so when I need to buy food. sometimes I get scared of certain places like a particular shop or restaurant bc of the previous panic attacks I had there. sometimes it's completely fine. sometimes it's almost unbearable. it's also hella horrible in my hometown but a bit better in my current city. I'm also scared of going to a hairdresser bc I can't escape from there if I want to (?) I'm very scared of blood exams and dentists. 
does anyone have a similar problem? wtf is this and how to make it feel better?
please, don't suggest visiting a therapist because I'm poor",3.084371352785144,5.187599400000003,4.954482758620691,79.40763925729445,75.6896551724138,7.771883289124668,29.084880636604773,8.617729084823388,2.526474801061009,583,26,106,12,13,199,88,145,0.25,0.628,0.121,-0.9776,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,9,12,1,5,6,0,9,3,1,3,1,17,22,14,0,5,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,3,1,0,1,1,3,3,3,7,0,0,1,1,11,5,16,21,1,11,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,5,65,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267768517935845,0.0,0.0,0.2024923166318172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609589926111655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852532195602952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403172876273718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717737434028886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239440785370023,0.13822012291287386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274317702169214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107930917300412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401540937767923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530915491202002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229201659841647,0.0,0.14390534196660962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699537048916035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061852921294238423,0.0,0.0,0.11204164631525823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16901995097608102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938761753437044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14854396117008406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322755209248851,0.13897452593504958,0.0,0.14272837633200294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114410864590935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5070156949069892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5008632470737777,0.0,0.08961183486680165,0.13494433198547853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699843248819705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446257560008804,0.07467504608175947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NiteOwl5,2019/04/08,"Hi. I have a problem where I am fearful, and paranoid that someone is going to poison my food/drink with hallucinogens. I've kept it under moderate control, and I feel I'm making strides to overcome it. In the past I started only eating/drinking things that I knew were sealed, and wouldn't touch something that wasn't. I've stopped doing that, and now I eat/drink stuff that isn't sealed. However, I have a problem that I'm hoping someone can help me overcome. Whenever I eat or drink something that isn't sealed, I start to feel mentally weird. Like I'm high, or drunk. And I feel very light headed, and my eyes have a lot of pressure around them. I know this is just a placebo effect, as I'm certain the stuff I've consumed hasn't been spiked with anything. But in my mind there's that thought of ""But I don't *know* it wasn't poisoned."" Even though I do know it wasn't. Does anyone know why this happens? (The light headed, drunk, etc feeling?) And how can I stop it from happening?",1.7657553782934483,4.146768558375637,2.623901377810008,92.95901861252115,81.69035532994924,4.970655064056079,24.60937877689147,6.18269132825596,0.6353226492627511,774,30,158,6,21,243,106,197,0.14,0.795,0.065,-0.9148,1,0,6,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,1,2,8,10,2,2,7,0,20,9,3,4,1,39,42,14,0,4,5,0,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,18,10,4,4,11,3,0,1,8,7,0,0,8,8,19,3,13,33,2,13,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,4,7,97,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101916474405646,0.0,0.09535133334554484,0.10314907801358576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129958324911769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139882638142927,0.0,0.0,0.4540348851361034,0.0,0.23712836165705506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922594463064044,0.07653119960595746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038623194329232,0.23434989600397185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011075209930385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585172666264683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492733814158431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23783258614263075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766537829984795,0.12242326849275825,0.0,0.1150852911848985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547170108281134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566083456067876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850873305280314,0.0,0.0,0.0773442838195222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676994724626025,0.0,0.11699590980181747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812453754817763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11061125345829073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217443388916429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635295381500031,0.17840514071844088,0.0,0.0,0.16402710211428004,0.0,0.0,0.1937454151070936,0.0,0.0,0.2652874023081779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697903769479769,0.0,0.11384192083490588,0.09198802638746106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956050815193396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10455486761271457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aulei,2019/04/08,"Depression Alternative Treatments? Does  anyone know of any good alternative treatments for severe Treatment  Resistant Depression? (I also suffer from anxiety, chronic pain and  chronic fatigue, so something to help those would be wonderful as well.  Thanks!

So far I have:

Cryotherapy  
Acupuncture  
Yoga  
Massage  
Neurofeedback  
CBD Oil  
Chiropractic  
Physical Therapy",8.686417112299466,12.520275823529413,7.73582887700535,47.858502673796814,94.68627450980392,11.266310160427807,45.81283422459893,9.095868883498916,8.19078823529412,301,21,25,12,11,93,45,51,0.287,0.515,0.198,-0.7642,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,3,5,4,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20641453556884728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552710498817264,0.0,0.19745732908354052,0.0,0.0,0.1804800648398067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4446282789624925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22587824520053665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21649468223235646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300909674452006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418532972269135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746526427177265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915965699413489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870959831748405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376376860578481,0.2951770879988412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320764545610458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27991479292267896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833575465687364,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jeswanders,2019/04/08,"Brother with BPD refusing DBT treatment. Need HELP! My brother has recently been diagnosed with BPD, though i suspect he's been living with the disorder for much of his adult life. His symptoms have progressively grown worse and now the entire family is walking around on eggshells because no matter what we say or do, it seems as though we're exacerbating the issue. He's torn up books/worksheets that we've left for him in his room and became irate when we left suicide prevention information in his room to browse through. Communicating has been very difficult. I've done a lot of research online and have just ordered a few books which will take a few days to arrive (local Barnes was unfortunately out of stock so i have to get them delivered). The only time he's made the attempt to communicate is when he's asked for money. My family and I believe he's recently undergone some financial troubles due to compulsive gambling as he grows deeper into despair. My mom has adopted the caretaker role to provide immediate support, but i've in some ways advised against it as i know he has to come to terms with the responsibilities/consequences of his actions. I've read that we shouldn't give into ultimatums, but at this point it feels like the last resort where we'd provide the financial support if he in turn sought DBT treatment. 

​

Obviously it's better to reach out to medical professionals for advice in dealing with some of these issues, but i'd like to hear some of your thoughts/suggestions/experiences in making attempts to communicate and validate loved ones suffering from BPD. I want to show my brother that I love him, but not to the point where he would get upset. I also would like to make an attempt to distract him or show him a good time but he's remained isolated in his room. I understand that DBT is the right way to go and i hope he changes his tune in the near future, but any help to alleviate his symptoms in the interim would be greatly appreciated.",8.302135135135135,8.169289672972972,8.240675675675675,68.93155405405406,61.729729729729726,11.508108108108113,38.5,11.00357731598739,4.342578378378379,1609,74,278,38,20,521,203,370,0.091,0.768,0.14,0.9788,0,0,0,0,0,1,32.0,4,1,1,5,11,17,0,2,18,0,23,7,0,3,1,56,46,24,1,8,11,4,1,3,0,5,5,2,3,1,12,20,0,2,6,4,2,6,3,6,0,1,6,3,31,11,57,33,9,50,0,2,0,2,47,29,0,10,15,176,43,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401762338441563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769410048450795,0.0,0.1042460726111042,0.11690857163601948,0.06542771708455218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564941565175177,0.08994558678805542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865017331836519,0.0,0.0,0.10839840423546307,0.0,0.0850920307414517,0.0,0.0,0.36352837039343605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177993983369636,0.08287844541081835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062049025099729586,0.09919073823148454,0.0,0.09765353958181736,0.0,0.0,0.1102677219546613,0.0,0.0,0.0984586680942371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411416851607317,0.18140093675889532,0.0,0.04864786975639596,0.06873414288836606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053399417195216,0.09229568104694083,0.05467971228566596,0.0806983788649798,0.0,0.10607448767158356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843834380393083,0.0,0.12897825934766152,0.0,0.0,0.09556060150920584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008414541419168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287580740933866,0.07842593030182328,0.0,0.0,0.2090700629185628,0.0,0.06795764873120243,0.14101352573200435,0.0,0.08495729348128603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179632416545428,0.17367085712855024,0.09103847946902537,0.12844502036698385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692384993721496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126827756329416,0.0,0.0,0.07072716901292785,0.07134026003653879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651959981074748,0.07317384983885314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18190359377053872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962384155854479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18999623452395545,0.0,0.0,0.08216484609795051,0.0,0.07651194558161771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758813649322779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524072688824578,0.2183613353805834,0.0,0.20000300199618248,0.07233973534191279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890563480344136,0.0,0.11220442400276967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465144043421716,0.0,0.10016047980616044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938528897360593,0.0567485539990153,0.1527378165021005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804863400659153,0.20503954103883684,0.0,0.11690857163601948,0.0
mentalhealth,BittahMaddman,2019/04/08,"I felt a little bit better yesterday, but here comes the next day and... Yesterday, i tried to be productive. Went out. Met new people. I felt not my best, but definitely way better than i usually do. Came back home went to sleep. Woke up today - and here it goes. I feel so miserable, so alone. Barely could make it out of bed.

I have a doctors appointment on Friday. I think i have to start getting on anti depressants. Last time i visited her, she prescribed me something for energy, but those pills don't do shit for me. I take them and i go back to bed.

I don't wanna be like this. WHY am i like this...",-0.0055351976856314895,2.3426992950819705,2.297348119575698,91.37383317261332,92.9344262295082,6.149276759884282,17.83220829315333,7.5105763829236425,0.6394960462873671,462,13,99,10,17,156,81,122,0.193,0.693,0.114,-0.9099,0,1,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,3,6,8,1,1,3,0,10,4,2,1,0,18,25,8,0,2,4,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,0,6,3,3,0,0,7,3,19,5,14,15,2,25,0,2,0,0,5,6,1,0,14,65,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065878018565928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534059448689576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729227912934743,0.2914628821208557,0.1798932825304808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18846044132229334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194038122400682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13156064281933766,0.0,0.0,0.10626722344485423,0.0,0.14192177478085838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686557498692823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331595923078611,0.0,0.3164225982241388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608893052955532,0.0,0.09364629329827337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16528428409711513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431485580731126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100296847129578,0.1651493608663253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998960626519666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914218930365998,0.17524169781847107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423529131047178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691407293465515,0.0,0.0,0.1648955191142156,0.0,0.0,0.12685301494999052,0.0,0.0,0.11662966858978875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123891435959953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055821403001266,0.0,0.0,0.09608251360790077,0.0,0.15618887365667708,0.0,0.0,0.1118724405137925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18147805675862289,0.0,0.0,0.13079193144952886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054989687711269,0.14868517948484228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gravedarling,2019/04/08,"coming out to my therapist i’ve finally accepted who i am to myself but i haven’t rlly told anyone else. homophobic father i looked up to. i remember wishing to not b gay??? i already told her am not gay🤭!?? 20F i love women so much & i don’t want to hide it anymor

i’m soshaky",-0.9394672131147528,1.1393529836065568,3.052602459016396,86.75792008196724,92.9344262295082,6.328688524590166,20.739754098360656,7.6454224807358475,1.1674409836065571,216,8,47,5,8,81,44,61,0.14,0.765,0.095,-0.6709,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,9,12,2,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,1,10,2,7,10,1,4,0,0,1,2,7,2,0,0,1,28,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632823362373328,0.0,0.0,0.2585046426731315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23661028344889926,0.16682282084652736,0.2444565364253109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551817809149886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993055298856716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26135607718940645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003496792733986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533052392407448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538599867618965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27026809469040497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27701331806372026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4559526705948741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072246854285564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27435874121535675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gimiliismylover,2019/04/08,"I'm not doing so well right now, and I need help. If you could reach out I'd really appreciate it Im currently overseas on exchange. Its so hard right now. My skins breaking out and I feel like shit. All my friends and family are on the other side of the planet. I feel like ive got no support. There's some really good times on exchange, but fuck its hard feeling so alone. I just realised how degraded I become mentally when my skin breaks out, and now im here by myself with no support. If youre reading this, I guess im just asking for someone to be there for me in a dark time. 

If you could even leave a comment I would really appreciate it. I don't think I've ever felt so alone. Tell me what you're going through, or just write something. I just need someone right now. 

I hope you're all doing well, and if your mum or your dad or sister or brother or friend or partner is near you, go and give them a hug. Dont ever take that for granted, and go show them you love them.",1.9964961636828635,3.413991661835748,3.638050582551864,90.66718670076729,76.82608695652175,6.609718670076727,23.287581699346404,7.285733465282438,0.7420169934640528,762,23,171,9,17,254,120,207,0.114,0.669,0.217,0.9709,1,2,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,7,3,0,22,15,2,0,5,0,11,6,3,1,4,46,32,24,0,10,16,4,8,2,3,1,0,0,0,1,8,11,0,0,5,2,2,3,5,3,2,0,2,8,27,12,16,26,3,27,0,0,0,3,24,12,2,13,12,112,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333264758345719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053051519742657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440434256874985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987109197764214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201569481372286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439904048629155,0.2037824451303848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618894097985024,0.0,0.17086568115875134,0.16094306838501782,0.10815407451895788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17405400422744602,0.10413580046560904,0.0,0.10805656026368987,0.19205129293511372,0.09447884386454496,0.09009017232283277,0.0,0.12408796550963802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20181038145163854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550162096327233,0.0,0.0,0.1118790151249034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3650183717852797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927171291429972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006247434630642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166388733733643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351673667062676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670453702800012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126725761750654,0.0,0.21648422862509056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885871974688984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562549039547255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908825607817595,0.08671738686715028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556498259524342,0.0,0.0,0.08469283592432914,0.0,0.09845415472932224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217650530637626,0.0,0.0,0.1313650212726802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255753988060948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001771145150367,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kristijan_Bralo,2019/04/08,"I've been trying to rid myself of all the toxic and negative people in my life for the sake of my mental health, am I doing this right? I've made this video where I talk about the toxic psychopaths in our lives and how to get rid of them, am I on the right track?

Please share your opinion on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peNU3qVapaU",9.548541666666663,8.169149687500003,7.48,79.43166666666667,59.9375,9.783333333333333,27.58333333333333,7.793537801064563,1.3992770833333328,276,4,53,2,3,80,43,64,0.057,0.865,0.078,-0.1877,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,4,2,0,2,1,6,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,9,1,11,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,0,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277496255991208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311690755986807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22006096184661988,0.0,0.0,0.27510933748349786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948014790248173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139748057661696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215993451791098,0.0,0.0,0.3419945335708188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5321336273364192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504166213675704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21152582804901787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NotMe2580,2019/04/08,"Anyone have thoughts about CCHR (Citizens Commission on Human Rights)? I just stumbled across their website and grew curious about how an organization can be so opposed to an entire section of modern medicine. I agree that brain imaging and physical exam be a greater part of one's treatment plan, but that was about it.  Just wanted to know what the community thoughts were or if someone has already taken a dive and dug through the information.",10.17923076923077,9.970438846153849,8.807307692307695,66.65019230769235,57.97435897435898,11.38974358974359,45.141025641025635,10.686352973137794,5.09988717948718,362,20,56,7,4,111,64,78,0.0,0.931,0.069,0.4854,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,1,7,0,0,0,6,0,7,1,1,1,0,15,12,8,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,0,10,5,3,6,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,1,44,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637638819661514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304906503753203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679851795938411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18116049971909975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233713332337622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569659801689285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815091685166158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793013243897625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5233917208543779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19442911426790285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RedLayne,2019/04/08,"How do I deal with a toxic sibling? I've recently noticed how my sister really drags me down to make herself feel better and never supports me in my decisions or accomplishments. Every encounter leaves me drained, exhausted or hurt. 

But I truly love her and know that she needs me right now, since she's recently been preliminarily diagnosed with GAD and depression, on top of the diabetes she's been struggling with for years.

But the whole relationship right now feels like is about me taking her minor harassments and not being able to voice it to her without her blowing up on me. 

What do I do? Anyone with advice or experience?",6.527758620689652,8.009762982758629,7.0529310344827625,70.3226724137931,65.72413793103448,10.282758620689657,32.603448275862064,10.411451182825502,3.6980206896551717,510,21,84,13,8,167,81,116,0.173,0.7190000000000001,0.107,-0.8335,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,5,9,1,1,3,0,7,4,0,3,1,24,15,11,0,1,7,1,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,3,19,4,16,12,1,14,0,2,0,1,12,8,0,3,7,64,22,1,0.18145814639639626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731880054089333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687975507241356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16048498444775722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707538113421426,0.15628963559798953,0.18417619892836787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288631456464416,0.0,0.0,0.17750088626405167,0.0,0.0,0.18350138205054026,0.12963373604263753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19425469872399276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972465171896014,0.0,0.0,0.19213797654580933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865128452426622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377306172178768,0.0,0.12112472176519352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13454891630510354,0.1399517090407874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065913023687936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11624673508292338,0.0,0.35833605658509426,0.19481814041417653,0.0,0.3099285311041101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010405383584405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18969945340105654,0.0,0.0,0.2059165541543084,0.0,0.0,0.13643394334513548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20259154020758,0.0,0.17491917777707133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685309694025535
mentalhealth,LastOni,2019/04/08,"[HELP] he's talking seriously about suicide and I don't know what to do Key points 
He's planned how
He says he's got nothing to live for
He's not sure why he hasn't done it yet
I've hidden sharps & pills
He's been through crisis team before and hated it and won't go back

I'm prepared to be the bad guy but when do I call it time?

More to follow in comments",0.06512195121950981,1.7486995975609787,2.078231707317073,98.4190548780488,83.51219512195122,4.5878048780487815,20.006097560975608,5.148860815047168,-0.4912000000000001,285,8,71,1,8,95,58,82,0.168,0.8140000000000001,0.019,-0.8601,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,1,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,1,8,14,6,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,4,3,0,0,3,2,2,1,8,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,14,2,0,0,4,33,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703937396226488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918931015527769,0.20836877276088245,0.0,0.0,0.21235371084389776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548245006476515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553823544373041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182838274942186,0.0,0.19959266996157699,0.0,0.0,0.2470996000985047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463848094388852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672720755876189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371494094968438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22036245315755773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394556398439559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359110119855773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19845688737644115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729736765247449,0.0,0.2352035051987697,0.0,0.0,0.2005835988729214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455180662848418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22518540566230294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Lbjkeek,2019/04/08,"Just want to feel normal Until I was in my late 20s, I had never experienced depression. Now that I have, and it's been a battle finding something to work long-term, I just wake up every fucking day and hope to feel normal. I can't find joy in anything. Can't even read or watch TV. I make myself do things but I feel I have no quality of life. Just wanted to vent.",1.380779220779221,3.1198047402597453,3.4116883116883163,90.19467532467534,79.51948051948051,5.9584415584415575,20.090909090909093,6.868970318607317,0.26419999999999977,283,7,62,3,7,96,57,77,0.095,0.83,0.075,-0.3411,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,2,0,1,0,8,3,1,1,1,19,16,5,0,5,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,5,10,2,9,13,0,8,0,1,1,1,0,3,1,2,5,42,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602425220202186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794998134559125,0.0,0.1842346637927581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412811620781783,0.0,0.1802228193479351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244679210323397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3910076198508467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19775022376039111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21245431615372595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412923244217453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108627991643458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929775607865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278216406366015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497546983008676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4191597838021297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21396126068707008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467326875312815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421078979184629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523315057076555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572420486508326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,madness4219,2019/04/08,"Ive gone mad? Ive been abusing weed since 12, then alcohol since 22, and sex since 13, gambling since 17, then cocaine since august last year. I used to think id only ever be a stoner gamer with confidence issues but now my own selfishness and manipulation has taken me to my 3rd cocaine relapse. I go crazy on it, its insane, I dont stop until either I pass out or the person runs out of drugs, Ill do anything for it, every time its 10 or so days awake, no food or water, atleast 10-15 beers per day, 5-7 grams per day, non stop, each time the come down is worse, and even on the 2nd relapse I was told Id die next time, now on the third one I was falling down stairs and shit and I cant even believe Im still alive now, but I dont want to die, I was just being self ish and manipulative, I know that, yet at the same time in my mind I dont really care if Im honest, Ive felt too bad and guilty for so long that Im done with it, im done with life, and Im so fucking sinical that I cant help but think even if I fix myself and make new relationships eventually they will go or die and ill be upset, so I cant help but think id rather be selfish, keep getting fucked up and then die, so im not sure if Im a socio path or just deeply emotionally broken, and after this 3rd relapse I cant think straight, I dont even want to talk to any doctors at this point, I think the cocaine has actually affected my brain, I can always sound smart but now I cant think straight any of the time at all, I never know what the hell im doing, I can drone on forever about non sense, but it never means anything anymore because I have admitted to myself that I never know weather im manipulating or being honest, all i know is that if I relapse again im dead, and right now thats to the manipulations during my last relapse i have the money to relapse again , and I want to so badly its unreal, sometimes I dont even know why Im still siting here typing when I can be out getting fucked up till I die. Its what I want.

Ive never told this or been honest about this to anyone beacuse I really really dont want to be sectioned, so I thought Id ask and try get a response from at least one person before I delete this, am I crazy? Abusing drugs and alcohol have driven me mad right?",4.235026292725681,3.643642253578733,5.844384312007012,84.26703220858897,70.22699386503068,8.539906514753143,27.28023663453111,7.83500028581142,1.3750899211218228,1758,48,403,19,28,606,215,489,0.282,0.6659999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9991,0,0,8,0,0,1,47.0,0,0,1,1,31,18,7,1,13,0,43,17,2,7,8,86,82,46,6,10,22,0,1,0,0,1,8,1,0,3,21,24,5,3,15,1,2,8,17,12,0,3,14,2,49,6,40,60,8,71,1,0,0,4,12,24,5,11,39,244,70,2,0.0,0.11897248889297928,0.048994097181357936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731051166838776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041775655636226636,0.0,0.0,0.06828399837109875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049791149341097324,0.03510540567044493,0.0,0.08263099845296135,0.0,0.04693610426438997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384031089497854,0.03060528868950464,0.0,0.04272185534558447,0.0565652966974121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056046824412694464,0.0,0.0,0.05118865923634214,0.0,0.0,0.04324827369506142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713671172485172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26053101492837955,0.0,0.0,0.05138826574716055,0.0,0.10275693286194164,0.35304839127872994,0.0,0.11644671507024973,0.0,0.0,0.05647531922804396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580390683489638,0.04541446411961633,0.042300965123931104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04820591227560219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060709645758203576,0.0,0.0,0.13924471965542554,0.07869214379059923,0.0,0.057066783788611214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730443643495462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5965455009833526,0.05240232327590167,0.0,0.04462565783412867,0.0,0.0,0.13796032124825153,0.08184965540003541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035462187754987065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04443098719070802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033513088765501534,0.0,0.0,0.0546893688304873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069404119815847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488874540607067,0.04848954821795197,0.05339495952233389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804216358060995,0.03818414630565642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767639263151794,0.0,0.0,0.04746117262762162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649030589525567,0.0,0.0,0.053902766814911324,0.0,0.08575179552518288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05237611057427944,0.0,0.0515360357121878,0.20765581158626095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965530507382601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018961689126912,0.08394941389002934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047318834627113435,0.0,0.0,0.040353914521630486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19302098225890688,0.0,0.039858186558166316,0.14637845868773594,0.0,0.0,0.0959485242278769,0.0,0.03408677562052835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04336211510678331,0.0,0.0,0.14806485467860994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530336808530566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05116449926062997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03233120500267575
mentalhealth,brasstracks,2019/04/08,"I (26F) have clinical depression and have been taking a lot of days off from work. What are ways to get back into the swing of things? I know this seems kind of like a stupid question, but I honestly feel kind of stuck in this loop and am having a hard time finding my way out of it. I recently got diagnosed with clinical depression and am pursuing a treatment plan, but honestly it’s been a couple of months and I feel like not much has changed.

My medicine (40mg Prozac) is helping me feel a bit better on the surface, but I’m having some side effects that seem to be balancing the scales and making it just as hard to function. In turn, I’ve been taking a day or two off a week from work for the last few weeks. I’m not as “sad” or anxious and have been seeing some slight differences in my mood lightening, but now I’m just so tired it’s hard to get up. I get really tired around 9:30am (which makes it really hard to get into work) and again in the afternoon around 2-3pm. During these times I have excessive yawning and physical weakness and can’t really focus on anything else. I’ve been consistently waking up in the middle of the night around and having some trouble getting to sleep.

I know my medicine dosage is probably off, but i didn’t feel a change in my mood until this dosage. But now I have these side effects. 

I’m going to bring up these side effects to my doctor at my next appointment, but what are your recommendations for trying to break out of this cycle of not getting out of bed? I’m having a hard time discerning what my body needs versus what it wants. It feels like it needs all of this rest, but every time I give in I ultimately feel lazy and unproductive. I think I’m just hoping for some tips for dealing with this and strategies to hopefully get out of the funk. I can’t really imagine a way out at the moment.",5.926740025740028,5.6738176945945975,6.366293436293438,80.8008558558559,66.64864864864866,9.966537966537967,29.781209781209782,9.606745405546679,2.4178507078507074,1457,45,299,27,21,473,173,370,0.116,0.799,0.085,-0.8647,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,8,11,18,1,0,20,0,25,12,3,5,1,72,65,26,0,5,17,0,11,3,0,0,9,0,1,0,24,24,0,0,18,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,8,12,24,10,60,56,10,58,0,3,1,0,5,32,0,12,23,196,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493340400333566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915202299582357,0.2244216362117633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461621244503299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743203855012239,0.09174230357882844,0.0933417516079815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777916051319905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092980948532974,0.0,0.1083887039762602,0.08663436328031808,0.14475504991894855,0.0852917558088575,0.0,0.0877966300492141,0.0,0.08601136622319935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019881305679321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080145145918372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25493774699731625,0.12006642577566536,0.0,0.0,0.07680466634914472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307326526139554,0.08061213883058897,0.047757907065520966,0.0,0.06720889005570392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37638544220114895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056325568167016726,0.0,0.0,0.1669275179122809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750149372288993,0.09236471044605553,0.06849813457894427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316288025999607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144187642002356,0.0,0.0,0.11218539910502476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707436222664788,0.0,0.061773945464088924,0.12461885282261312,0.0,0.0,0.08937007994285402,0.07885930539897243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060181840706344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413622462383453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533484130869426,0.0,0.0829724785656256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696344452043597,0.15300102754133546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409371690019406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636475991513627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055827810667062265,0.05384497203932802,0.0,0.0,0.19600134052897453,0.1931672107331267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705291078882704,0.09140380513378144,0.08208805910195449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956485787322138,0.2001045216127659,0.13481245454266244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18353113837082194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheNotSoTraveler-,2019/04/08,"Im getting ready to spill my issues. How do I go about it? Before I get into context, heres the main question. 

**How do I tell my parents about these issues?** *I want to but through out the day my minds slowly telling me to stop and that theres no need. It supports this case by giving me anxiety about the situation I’m going to cause*

I had a emotional breakdown in my 2nd period, then I had a realization. Why dont I ask for help? 

Thats where the problem lies, I don’t ask for help. I wrote in sharpie “Today’s the Day” all big and nice so that I **Cant** Ignore it. Ive been plagued by my mental issues since somewhere in the beginning of 2018. I cant really pinpoint it but I do know what caused my issues.

I want to seek help for my Anxiety, Over/Critical thinking of others and myself, my problem with my self image, my emotions literally running my life to its will. Theres so much more I can think but my mind is telling me to stop.

Oh thats another thing! The negative voice in my head **RUNS**my life. It tells me what to do , how to do it, and why I am the way I am. It berates every little thing I do. It constantly puts me down, even though I know its just my mind and its not real. Even right now as I type, the voice is telling me to stop. The only thing that silences the voice is music so I have it blasting 24/7 (an exaggeration, but you get the gist of the idea)

To contrast that idea, theres also another voice that tells me nice things, “holds me” in a sense, tells me its here for me. I don’t really get to hear that one very often. 

The anxiety, overthinking, panic attacks occur somewhat regularly. The logical side of me helps calm me down, and think things through. 
The emotional side of me goes nuts and is constantly in motion like plucking a gutair string. 

Thats about as much of what im able to say atm, I’m drained of energy even before 1pm everyday so im really tired.",0.24337648102719106,2.5670848695652206,2.4304807140247418,91.849780781878,89.05115089514067,5.749381491727124,20.51156114619761,7.209633053413488,0.6539447883501229,1468,49,319,25,49,494,185,391,0.158,0.759,0.083,-0.9876,1,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,0,1,0,0,25,10,1,1,21,0,24,4,1,5,1,48,47,23,0,5,6,1,0,1,0,1,3,6,0,1,33,10,0,5,9,0,1,5,8,5,0,1,4,6,51,5,45,42,6,35,0,0,0,0,21,16,0,3,14,216,84,1,0.07048861150004157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05636971714974935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782691034610052,0.16177078458515334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179467297885608,0.08019097164765401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199612333099644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448224419844203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234629498707786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909186460803842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826121277062636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378706012894516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967118930554834,0.0,0.0593896953376703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730956079448476,0.0676190991427149,0.08012060465232619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234165136395275,0.0,0.07944578811678685,0.0,0.1889881218092684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914612496053315,0.22841938897952435,0.2942871875593453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774773948879524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957638179675754,0.034437175061624865,0.0706481067457219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103594129368092,0.0,0.2135202107119783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363447995223904,0.05226641226932762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04776490741203227,0.05360976538426597,0.0,0.08270319797551567,0.07826926130603237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489616302123755,0.0,0.07086052364267663,0.0789633769566295,0.0,0.0,0.08023147180801994,0.13547042847294025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060196889077805626,0.0,0.05605537307053543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353499478948802,0.0,0.0,0.058308907842046974,0.0792321526830952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679490645536947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998964100240899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4312710735364684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341475067638531,0.13549876813152276,0.06925470290856227,0.0,0.0,0.08101628962565491,0.06681496168503168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058160486652124366,0.08315201871934856,0.055950578833935866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721001615324853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ginger81,2019/04/08,"How to get the most out of therapy sessions? Hi Everyone,
I've been seeing a therapist for almost two years now and she's been great, but I wonder if there's a way that I can approach sessions so that they're more productive.  Usually I give a layout of what's been happening during the week, how it's been making me feel, what it might be triggering, etc. but I do feel like maybe it's time to mix up the format or style a little bit so I can start making more progress.  Do you folks have ways of approaching therapy sessions that you find helpful or soothing or that have been productive with breakthroughs or personal growth?  Thank you in advance for sharing!",4.334651162790699,6.017555527131788,4.899914728682173,82.90894186046512,71.24806201550388,8.570852713178295,29.17906976744186,9.120678840339163,2.5083916279069767,529,21,100,11,10,169,83,129,0.0,0.792,0.208,0.981,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,2,6,4,0,0,7,0,13,0,0,5,0,22,24,12,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,5,3,10,4,11,17,5,16,0,0,1,0,9,4,0,9,7,69,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672144005240067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926728643266324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19682431460283628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686363141948294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784694156814504,0.1260789257585037,0.0,0.0,0.16130154227516075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09220467045030112,0.1692978166243693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457225905526704,0.0,0.0,0.15606263505516427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829230496964027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622029312072538,0.1768815374995231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356064905501206,0.0,0.17730010030458365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872197350700937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409745813455802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063347177503574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491501626167145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248110741220306,0.4036455743731318,0.20490944764156369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290819561536516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239747485300094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19437022059003495,0.0,0.0,0.280166726725034,0.14156338325056472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913874280195734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364875674751818
mentalhealth,himynameisntbill,2019/04/08,"Trigger warning; hospitalization please share experiences So I’ve been feeling suicidal for a while now. But the urges keep on getting worse so I am going to the hospital. I’m waiting to plug the cord so to say the end of this week so I money for bills and everything while I can’t work.
I just don’t know how to get through the day. Or what hospitalization is like or what I should bring or say? If anyone has any experience it would be extremely helpful, I’m also on Medicaid in New York and am trying to just go directly to a Psych Hospital as I feel like a regular one would be too traumatizing.",3.2922499999999992,5.105997058333337,5.216666666666669,79.03500000000003,74.25,9.133333333333336,28.66666666666667,9.642632912329526,2.7733166666666675,477,20,96,13,10,164,81,120,0.108,0.7759999999999999,0.116,-0.2366,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,0,8,0,12,0,0,2,0,19,24,16,1,4,7,0,2,2,0,3,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,2,3,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,1,4,6,3,14,18,0,13,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,9,64,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040973574928336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640636523195954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402554303125165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12936233078563442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17766097027505545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802750935895748,0.3924260914534258,0.0,0.0,0.2028461143210058,0.14329973620537384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095973593198291,0.0,0.2279969755074351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444956002991454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829136917720492,0.0,0.0,0.1102376335107669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19599382189242076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19372863868353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359232680855691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22018481838654025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190304310977748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21941014708863155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618573240554746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089917767068154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460300748473469,0.0,0.2044157793785477,0.2849831821356182,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ashleylmnop,2019/04/08,"Question: Resources for people who want to provide support My sister asked me for resources to help her support people better when they’re sick/currently manifesting. She’s looking for baseline knowledge, strategies, and shared language, though acknowledging that everyone is different. Has anyone found good resources that they can share?

(The fact that she asked this and used language that explicitly acknowledges that mental illness is a disease made me cry.)",9.364703196347033,12.616446041095893,7.097465753424661,65.84747716894981,61.1917808219178,8.702283105022829,42.30365296803653,9.2995712137729,4.9077598173515975,383,22,45,7,6,111,55,73,0.033,0.727,0.24,0.9337,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,2,6,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,2,2,12,13,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,7,6,5,11,0,1,0,0,1,0,12,0,0,1,1,29,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474201325006827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870416020323867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18307822025757325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273841791309513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162751264760056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978011975632561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269692067081361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362513800102325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875042097089535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383122875446114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195872194504174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20861134899280565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870210254087113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23189186048577415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.469811383113105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033803837148046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878499676820486,0.0,0.0,0.12209632532919926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,itsathrowaway1109,2019/04/08,"How to get help when family's against it Using a throwaway for privacy reasons

24M, Italian, I'm going through a lot: serious health issues, other issues... no point in listing them all, the point is that I'm not in a good place and need help as what for me was a way to have fun and relax (videogames) has now become a way to pretend caring about something, cuz ppl at home nag if all I do is lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling, so might as well waste away on some repetitive task there and avoid some nagging.

The only other thing I do, is helping other ppl on stuff like painting the bgs for their animation class' projects cuz if I were to only play games I'd get nagged as well, but being held accountable for someone else is the only way to actually make me put effort in something: i'm lagging behind on my own Academy work, but I don't care.

I hate this. I hate myself. I want to change things and go back being the cheerful idiot i was till barely two years ago and realized that I can't do it on my own

Enter my family: my mom doesn't want me to seek professional help as it'd make people talk and make her look like a bad mother, she says. Even when the hospital wanted to offer me support together w/ the medical treatment i was following, she butted in and I ended up refusing it just to make her shut up. She's also the kind that believes ""shrinks to be useless and after our wallets alone""

Dad is no better than me in this, i never saw him stand up against mom

I don't know what to do, i don't have much money in my name and can't even leave the house for long without giving detailed accounts of where i am and what i'm doing. If I don't answer the phone when mom checks on me i'll never hear the end of it.

I don't know what to do",3.7839764492753654,4.175231328804351,5.1400000000000015,85.52166666666669,71.30978260869566,7.872463768115942,26.74637681159421,7.793537801064563,1.388977898550725,1371,42,295,16,24,460,198,368,0.12,0.741,0.139,0.8167,0,2,2,0,0,1,32.0,1,0,2,3,16,24,6,1,19,0,32,2,0,9,4,49,62,30,0,7,9,5,0,2,0,1,2,2,2,0,20,11,0,3,5,4,4,5,14,10,2,1,6,5,38,14,50,51,8,47,0,1,3,0,27,23,0,7,17,206,58,4,0.0,0.0,0.09063740603980827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233244703320995,0.0,0.0,0.09619558834655206,0.0,0.07427604027793333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726374438711038,0.07141892708556846,0.0775508554934996,0.0,0.10257857693570607,0.0,0.10464386649574482,0.0,0.08214474343568963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893945417409621,0.0,0.09825464231712233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758925696026235,0.0,0.16452808580885264,0.0,0.0,0.12269262536793232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511784921821458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705185181104348,0.08909888474585315,0.1055716004825654,0.0779032721369831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18339938849201204,0.0,0.09872701410566603,0.10468242269867156,0.0,0.24902181627531206,0.0,0.0931661349967666,0.0,0.0,0.10717095999559237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388501576448705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967201462904448,0.10208875251297027,0.0,0.0,0.09834642687550592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075287694420736,0.0,0.0,0.08219580844294082,0.07799574229559512,0.0,0.0,0.07896318849140573,0.0,0.0,0.24799227734255885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356675021757713,0.0,0.09853091982970268,0.0,0.3263395272154525,0.0,0.0,0.06827742976486986,0.06886928548153819,0.1432694438311662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21191809863409972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439124342501315,0.0,0.09703975028213603,0.0,0.17560309596691487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336997548199158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09549602921660616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386184211144622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786968567275516,0.1430070037225511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632528966557417,0.0,0.1053990351083175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465336328688248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341058655425205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073018807138364,0.0,0.0,0.08021843160269235,0.0,0.0,0.16434895376135294,0.2211712772659309,0.0,0.0,0.1670204090911684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953293063474582,0.0,0.06761768960273107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059811624750150824
mentalhealth,DenverLilly,2019/04/08,"Anorgasmia due to Lexapro- thinking about quitting? Hey all- 28 year old female with extremely high sex drive here. I have been on Lexapro for going on 6 years. Up until recently my side effects have been minimal but in the past year I have started experiencing Anorgasmia and it blooooooows (no pun intended). This seems to be a pretty common side effect for Lexapro (and many SSRIs) but I’m starting to consider titrating off. I worry because I did have a major depressive episode that landed me in inpatient about 1.5 years ago but I’ve consulted this close to me and my therapist and they all agree I’m in a much better space these days. I forgot to take my Lexapro for about 3 days and had sex with my partner last night and I came 4 times, not kidding. I forgot how amazing it feels to be able to share that experience with someone you care about and I think I might be ready to try life without an SSRI. Anyone relate or have similar experiences to share? I know coming off of SSRIs can be a total pain so I’m not looking forward to that! Thanks in advance.",3.7477615176151744,5.9237940878048825,4.623373983739839,82.20015582655826,73.97560975609754,7.482384823848236,28.949864498644985,8.344100000000001,2.2502953929539293,848,36,155,15,18,274,130,205,0.06,0.7829999999999999,0.157,0.9723,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,5,7,8,0,0,6,0,15,4,0,4,3,35,34,14,0,0,7,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,8,13,0,2,7,0,0,6,4,2,0,0,7,3,18,6,32,22,5,39,0,1,1,2,8,16,0,3,19,100,26,1,0.1510522611176152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338987155088555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561925311344356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208005636089928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359344982673355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276354593703722,0.15400784731488645,0.0,0.0,0.13011814787156345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19483242435816936,0.0,0.13010109116155555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955161920589103,0.0,0.0,0.07637656183368784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584648099386419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595950072153793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301437235233856,0.12312775348758573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066926791734456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684585585470762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314328418339554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16024257845490197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110407922173686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175231449808867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585039383176312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073025580541347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441964751563735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536744538247338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606626730889237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914588477308274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751230539530418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798609066184055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138311357615386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357250167460438,0.0,0.0,0.1390686275257866,0.0,0.17538331750955974,0.0,0.1935763794023748,0.0,0.0,0.08807978818778757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255456996803056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560898940487288,0.0,0.0,0.15340090341617932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.389090814867312
mentalhealth,noob3_flow3rs,2019/04/08,"Right now I'm just trying to show up to work, and not sit on my wallet or phone in my jackpocket I hope to get better soon. I'm going to try and go to my apartments gym or take a walk tonight. I'm not goin to reinstall LoL either, I uninstalled it last night. I went to work today.",0.2216666666666676,1.91538933870968,2.523870967741935,95.37247311827957,83.03225806451613,5.423655913978496,18.397849462365595,6.42735559955562,-0.219686021505376,217,5,52,2,6,74,43,62,0.0,0.858,0.142,0.8225,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,9,9,4,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,2,10,8,1,16,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,6,28,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564342231352065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148514184892575,0.0,0.3295666919464129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879824161771812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363451939666424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720952613551025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476128292456859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21800377394417053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748354931994749,0.0,0.0,0.39370944477929737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687834215985918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42216918522726415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vethansul,2019/04/08,"Anyone else really badly struggling with anything to do with habits or routines (esp when repetitive)? Dissociation from forcing? If there is one trait I hate about myself, it's this. Had this issue since childhood, when it was less of a big deal since I had virtually no responsibilities. Being unable to handle routines/form habits that stay is also one of the reasons I suffer artistically - as in, I have a hard time building a firm basis to work on, feel the need to do things trial-and-error style all the time (esp when I may have established a way to do something efficiently. it's like my brain hates when things become too perfect). My diagnoses are all over the place. Just wondering if (esp artists) anyone overcame this and actually figured out a way to enjoy routines instead of feeling dead inside?

I have tried sticking to them and when it's something trivial as brushing teeth maybe I can keep a schedule for 2-3 months max. I often give in faster. When it's stuff like manual labor or a schedule for doing something repeatedly in the same way over and over, week by week, day by day, I start dissociating heavily and feel like I'm a caged animal or something. It's awful for me to have to admit my ideal would be doing things very irregularly, with a good 85% of my time being free time spent in between. And I hate that because that's not how life works.

Anyway would be really interested to hear if anyone has experienced similar",7.070183823529412,7.42651741544118,7.612058823529412,70.76676470588238,64.18382352941177,9.888235294117651,32.80882352941177,9.673873057562805,3.1073264705882355,1155,43,200,21,16,382,157,272,0.116,0.779,0.105,-0.6433,0,0,4,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,4,15,15,3,1,14,1,24,4,2,2,3,36,39,21,1,7,8,0,4,3,0,3,2,1,0,0,16,9,0,1,7,2,2,0,2,6,0,2,4,7,17,10,36,28,4,37,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,9,25,140,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.10665773557782103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08740446808740286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22926821540300565,0.11198730398600926,0.08994180616191344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125811296305923,0.06662620552522627,0.12070953056569682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201117526582918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409745569375835,0.1126800167449875,0.0,0.11093376933647804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913033019602596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657909662684227,0.07808152766782303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484727779310198,0.0,0.09167281990157616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790830410461412,0.3237233555810917,0.0,0.0,0.12318523496730267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140772758590856,0.0,0.0971478583560848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719943548672249,0.16019042426794292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980314595920017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723951989354646,0.0,0.0,0.08104205935789055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812443761255562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419170603342373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003642784291848,0.1123751294078649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808225881691929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365675134638614,0.0,0.0,0.07736071067931356,0.1164956552899388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426055879801005,0.1251184817160951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178354547529655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549269538853101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742052310378763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018115854704138,0.0,0.2602637105223196,0.17534231291281555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852752286934742,0.15913848317467855,0.0,0.0,0.15528236694654887,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,halfmonkhalfhitman12,2019/04/08,"Is it all in my head, or am i emotionally abused PLEASE HELP!!! It's going to be long post,  please read and help me out.  I am 24 male, I have PARENTS WHO ALWAYS FIGHT like 5 days a week, until I was 10 it was PHYSICAL AND ABUSIVE WORDS,  now mostly abusive words,  my dad abuses my mom, mom also doesn't understand simple things, these arguments go back to a their wedding day,  my dad had economical hardship while growing up like lowest 10% of economic class of world. My dad was raised by his widowed mother. After my parents wedding my mom didn't take care of my grandma, so my dad is angry at my mom for last 32 years, there are also many other reasons. I have grown up in home WATCHING MY PARENTS FIGHT ALMOST EVERY DAY,  once they had fought from 6am to 11 pm. 
When I was 5 years old my dad took me to martial arts classes,  for 3 years I went to those classes regularly, but then discontinued, I was not good at it,  my DAD USED TO SHAME ME EVERYDAY for that for next 3- 4 years. 
I was in my teens, my father started shaming me as I became FAT, everyday while having food (B,L,D) he used to remind me how fat I was and that he was ASHAMED TO HAVE ME AS HIS SON, then my grades started to drop in school then he threatened me to disown me and throw me out of house, he was angry all the time, WHENEVER HE USED TO COME HOME FROM WORK I USED TO GET ANXIETY. I became more self conscious, stopped going on stage, stopped socialising,  had really VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM, 
Somehow I managed to get good grades in 10th grade, then got into good college, but I am very inconsistent at my grades, never in my life he has hugged me, never said I am good,  all I see is disappointment.  I feel like I am suffocating, stopped actively talk to my parents, I only reply when they ask a question, I had a major depression  for 2 years when I was about 16,17 years old. I feel depressed sometimes even now,  I have become socially awkward. My question HAVE I REALLY SUFFERED OR AM I BLAMING MY PARENTS FOR MY SHORT COMING ( I AM IN THIS DILEMMA FOR LAST 2 YEARS, SAW THIS SUBREDDIT TODAY SO POSTED IT), IF I HAVE THEN HOW TO OVERCOME THIS, WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO COME OUT OF IT,  SHOULD I NEED TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST. PLEASE HELP!!! ",3.2180604133545287,4.55238966666667,4.625013248542661,85.16272655007951,73.50450450450452,7.295601483836777,26.57233704292528,7.827709963407826,1.4784352941176475,1708,60,351,23,34,569,220,444,0.226,0.711,0.063,-0.9978,7,0,0,0,4,0,65.0,0,0,3,1,17,21,3,4,6,0,39,6,3,7,6,46,68,28,0,3,6,18,2,3,0,2,3,1,2,2,16,11,3,3,7,2,0,11,5,12,0,0,21,7,67,9,54,43,6,79,0,5,4,1,46,20,0,8,47,222,83,12,0.06556340174711231,0.3107276402541441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565227623597235,0.0,0.0,0.10486205737952216,0.054554002428205295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050155822881618815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061292930224884135,0.0,0.0,0.05041420895626108,0.0,0.0,0.0724096261748179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684625765285099,0.0,0.0,0.1694311956744081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684891060596856,0.0,0.1129393237075883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375000237288112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04330400851079914,0.059305850455851135,0.05523999369827259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630165176628769,0.04683850730832413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927952563924552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685083427665033,0.0,0.11178357636621032,0.21996588300380385,0.052437041707898674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728696523439921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183729852168338,0.0,0.13153087533075852,0.0,0.0,0.07565136290534748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688584610911968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04630936959412802,0.09609289907489307,0.0,0.0,0.05802154738626096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647099878875798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30714825489729763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048614431644636746,0.10113307456576492,0.0,0.06972742155862986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759552236462982,0.06982288310271964,0.0,0.049863921428711815,0.0,0.0,0.3640019936734097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21590678039489453,0.0,0.0,0.12558323095110968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689202969228912,0.0,0.06558114413475148,0.0,0.08400318801210023,0.06741009656517266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06236580892943293,0.0,0.0,0.0663536628310427,0.10449108534041784,0.0,0.1367938537376969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683363148730853,0.0,0.0,0.06484388077973582,0.0,0.09281222641916588,0.0,0.0,0.16444181878614095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929551864780608,0.05269737882681057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04355741084227243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03823054680565146,0.0,0.0621464387289153,0.0,0.07284335173144703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825381343629383,0.0,0.2265029138909518,0.0,0.10819334559253004,0.0,0.0,0.052591006158104484,0.0,0.0,0.060777930271187434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773093732824387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29554476801203905
mentalhealth,hidnonymous,2019/04/08,"I (18/F) don't know whether I'm lazy or depressed and it's frustrating me so much I started suffering from depression when I was 14 years old. It drained me for years, to the point that I lost almost all friendships and my grades dropped considerably. Something that really stood out was that, during that time, stepping out of my house became the hardest task you could ask me.

Luckily, for the past few months, I've been getting better. The progress has been slow and very irregular, but still, I feel better than I have in a long long time. 

Anyway, for the past couple of weeks stepping out of my house has become harder. Even stepping out of my bed. I write down tasks that need to get done and still can't seem to be able to do them. I've been having a lot of cravings. And I keep cancelling important appointments. My mother won't stop saying how lazy I am, how I can't even do the bare minimum. She does 10x the amount of things I do each day. And I don't know what to do. Perhaps I have become lazy. Perhaps so many years suffering from depression has made me forget how to function like a normal human being.

​

Do you have any advice? How can I get on with my day like a normal person? Being so unproductive makes me feel shit about myself and yet I can't seem to be able to do anything about it.",3.708320610687025,5.145838496183206,4.336557251908399,87.30414885496185,72.43511450381679,7.224732824427482,25.31374045801527,7.7348632917899725,1.226083358778626,1034,32,211,13,20,329,141,262,0.146,0.7709999999999999,0.083,-0.9527,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,1,4,16,12,2,0,11,0,32,1,1,6,1,40,50,18,0,4,3,1,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,2,10,13,0,2,7,0,0,3,6,8,0,0,9,3,31,4,30,35,6,33,0,6,0,0,10,8,1,5,23,143,41,1,0.2213734941939032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108161808222871,0.0,0.0,0.11083678855010508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992904423511258,0.13449651299099907,0.075270783636216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108576173872453,0.0,0.10347716692310983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444896319050401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957868658883192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837436089433226,0.12247278036720018,0.0,0.14276758998282724,0.0,0.2860029992511753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968627182893683,0.11327097189794992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621510509192506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193309019369893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17348777079343378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25543529012549177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838346656859537,0.0,0.0,0.12166108299194375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815190725603302,0.0,0.0,0.19590857614399854,0.0,0.0,0.12082765971557452,0.09410191418629472,0.0,0.10473447639671693,0.07388426318389232,0.1122189885843909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834910551962212,0.0,0.08136749489661049,0.08207282046570974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168990222667597,0.0,0.0,0.11614712156327005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21132604914106912,0.0,0.09664739817819663,0.0,0.0,0.10463475312502622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090876448645024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880225439322204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20153011490714864,0.0,0.0,0.11361835528372476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852120655804274,0.0,0.0,0.07834464929678313,0.0,0.17678915842305115,0.09253907679750108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353535645836091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908466470294738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913281584089016,0.0,0.0,0.08878623199951216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449651299099907,0.21383590836864985
mentalhealth,UselessComfort,2019/04/08,"Don’t really want to die, but tired of being here Going through the motions of being alive, but at the same time not really feeling alive. 
I (25 F) have no hobbies, even when I try I can’t stick with them for more than a few days. I mostly just sleep ",4.554842767295597,3.9359771886792463,5.549056603773584,86.74484276729561,69.56603773584905,8.576100628930817,25.213836477987428,7.793537801064563,1.073206289308176,193,4,44,2,3,64,43,53,0.191,0.67,0.139,-0.4616,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,5,2,1,0,0,9,8,3,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,8,6,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,33,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336157214730635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3759493600586721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23925701393725685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831601249657281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058701231006296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4641222052220166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625029846153205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21122586071050772,0.4163431764092557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459381176656457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136593502270971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,harutotanaka02,2019/04/08,"Regarding diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia, what constitutes ""two voices conversing with each other""? I regularly experience auditory hallucinations, often consisting of what I call ""radio chatter"". It usually manifests as what sounds like a radio playing in another room. Sometimes it's music, sometimes it's the ""hosts"" commenting on news or the music. It's rarely distinct enough to distinguish exactly what's being said or what song is playing... just barely clear enough to make out that it's a radio... and it often seems as though it's an old timey radio show, like something from the 1940s.

These arent my only hallucinations, nor are they my only symptoms. I'm just curious as to whether are not this symptom, on its own, is sufficient to classify as a significant Criterion A symptom. Have any of you experienced similar symptoms, or had experience with similar symptoms in others (patients, friends, family, etc.)?

Included with occasional, mild visual and tactile hallucinations, social withdrawl, and long-term employment impact, would this still warrant a schizophrenia diagnosis despite not having a ""running commentary? Symptoms have been present off and on for 25 years (onset at 17), and persistent for 18 months.

*As mentioned, there has been long-term employment impact, so I am currently without health insurance.

Thanks for your time, attention, and sensitivity.",8.674847058823527,11.284569608888884,8.713986928104577,56.161176470588245,61.8,12.227450980392153,41.6797385620915,11.78182255692154,6.317452287581697,1122,64,142,39,17,365,145,225,0.011,0.911,0.078,0.9089,4,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,0,2,1,1,8,6,0,0,10,0,15,7,0,1,3,31,20,18,0,1,9,0,0,2,1,1,7,4,1,0,19,11,0,0,3,8,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,5,8,6,28,14,5,18,0,0,0,0,10,9,0,6,10,107,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794233984236182,0.12018414404795875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11703504434175226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368565037650383,0.12782636573299755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.224231528573172,0.10804911198653804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855150273155686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183071286933192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199050020110958,0.0,0.0,0.20286188189094276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650660816703221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914848454409588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026948549318445,0.0,0.0,0.17434021316511544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902540465571532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043414718549944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168358727738068,0.0,0.0882364637817285,0.2267149408566788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153193311265563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7147751432745437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10552237665699173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260895828606884,0.0,0.06683310787184098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196250176952166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623256915630682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048506696289842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814194264087311,0.0,0.0,0.07380850061346735
mentalhealth,Dadjocks,2019/04/08,Being a 'capable' human being Life to me is a confused and completely misunderstood instruction that is repetitively carried out with no familiarity of what is going on and what actually needs to be achieved. Ordinary social construct and activity to me seems like a method that is completely irrelevant to why existence has been generated. ,16.204107142857147,12.646759767857148,15.98,30.365000000000038,49.53571428571429,20.48571428571429,58.35714285714286,17.693802365651003,10.192135714285717,281,17,35,13,2,98,41,56,0.123,0.835,0.043,-0.5709,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,8,12,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,8,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,30,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.3142688976856573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6753148927861354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830252649551477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274694972749105,0.15733463613539264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23879185623622054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.293177144108768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32828372937735645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905949975343946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,inavars,2019/04/08,"Mental health Study Hello Everyone! My name is Sravani and I am a design student. I am doing a study to understand mental health behaviour and attitudes. I would be very very grateful if you could take 5 minutes to answer this survey. All information is confidential and anonymous, and will be only used for educational purposes!! Thank you so very much in advance for your time

[https://s.surveyplanet.com/AtczFnTd4](https://s.surveyplanet.com/AtczFnTd4)",9.67846638655462,13.924969073529414,8.327983193277316,52.657352941176526,64.14705882352942,9.17983193277311,31.77310924369748,9.606745405546679,4.00731680672269,379,15,45,9,7,116,51,68,0.0,0.8959999999999999,0.104,0.7874,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,10,2,0,1,1,13,14,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,5,9,2,3,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,33,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17232908467770822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20624246401035431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.458851414103435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43502788827192107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586657688514074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415452939134187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622833189383552,0.0,0.0,0.19871463692635236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258568768649191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22469497590191248,0.0,0.18641473719978832,0.0,0.5342668773375914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332512657627725,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,drjlm3,2019/04/08,"Very stressed due to lack of privacy in apartment This is partially a vent - and I'm also looking for constructive ideas as to how I could reframe the situation so that it's less stressful.

I live in a small, 26 sq. m apartment and work from home.

My workstation faces the door - that's about the only place to put it.

Because of the dumbass way this building is configured, my workspace opens up onto the corridor. Directly across from me, literally two meters across the hallway, is my neighbor. We share a wall. 

My neighbor is incredibly loud. Not in the sense of playing music, but she has a booming voice. I can hear her shouting down the phone for hours every night. When she has visitors over, because of how tiny the landing is, they have to wait literally outside my door to get into her apartment.

As soon as she comes home, I get stressed. Because I can hear her through the wall, I feel like I can't relax in my own apartment. Like there's a stranger somehow sharing my space. We've spoken once or twice over the course of a year, but nothing more than basic pleasantries.

Here's the good news. I'm leaving this place in about 100 days. But I've suffered like this for the best part of a year. There's nothing I can really say to her. Her voice is just loud and the building has the walls of tissue paper.

If you were me, is there anything you would do to stop being stressed by the situation?",3.873336663336662,5.657345805860808,4.3345271395271405,86.08812437562439,72.62637362637362,7.161438561438563,29.99150849150849,7.84624498591911,1.9441956043956043,1107,48,217,15,22,349,152,273,0.08800000000000001,0.8079999999999999,0.104,0.7474,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,2,1,2,14,14,0,4,23,0,20,1,1,2,0,25,30,16,0,4,7,0,1,3,2,1,0,9,6,0,8,7,0,2,2,2,0,2,2,5,0,2,1,11,29,9,40,26,6,39,0,1,1,0,20,27,0,3,12,149,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391496207584726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664129877528208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21476696908339335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324372031088883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116226157085276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376452315085357,0.0,0.0,0.07573766226237512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894640717313287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059380077663943626,0.08389758407333282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271280143797272,0.0,0.0,0.09850125048336444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264721859726664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355993669623244,0.0,0.1156525718398745,0.0,0.0,0.1325729757564783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243496680187488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17212252358762414,0.0,0.1036997243722878,0.0,0.09861817017114936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11020741496938684,0.0,0.2253694628590261,0.0,0.0,0.12506741871152313,0.0,0.0893167348983371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12717368754343672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453950004199139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805742031484093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523365851819802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933912480362732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640100036213758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818325497270312,0.5380983886694827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147196611447523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689847979432993,0.0,0.09321665523620876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549611329487519,0.0,0.0,0.08342443997399462,0.0,0.0,0.15125217900917204
mentalhealth,mancohbit,2019/04/08,"[BLOG POST] I am not always very attached to being alive. Chronic, passive suicidal ideation is like living in the ocean. Let's start talking about how to tread water. Apologies if this has already been posted here but I've just read this and found it really interesting so thought I would share it :)

https://theoutline.com/post/7267/living-with-passive-suicidal-ideation?zd=4&zi=tzf44xox&fbclid=IwAR3Liamc7SlrntpsTbaF-z_kn8C9ZVRnfjZ2aY8ftXhM7LQXtL0Beb7xV1o",17.21595238095238,23.448055357142863,8.910714285714286,47.800952380952396,49.00000000000001,6.590476190476192,28.97619047619048,7.793537801064563,2.22124761904762,404,11,41,4,6,99,51,56,0.042,0.7090000000000001,0.249,0.9078,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,1,0,9,10,5,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,4,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,26,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266892408390083,0.0,0.17092828062851026,0.4451511790605413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252355696520965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21005879835154695,0.0,0.10035923603769936,0.0,0.1813921542352593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5902149646259913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20547845638559412,0.0,0.13159914813874582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539936188925667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22469927396814374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16511111844360266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308280967946856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16949537810644694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459265101653145,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TightAdagio4739,2019/04/08,"I always feel like there's something wrong in my head. Does anyone else always feel like there's something wrong in their head even when everything is going well? I'm not sure if it's depression or anxiety or what I just always feel like there's something wrong but I can't figure out what.


I take vitamin D to help with my depression as it seems to quiet my negative thoughts a lot but when I take too much it makes me feel anxious and my head feels weird even if it does stop the negative thoughts. 


I'm going to a therapist in about a month so that should help but I'm not sure whether I should go on antidepressants or whatever as I spoke to my doctor and he said it's up to me.",3.713943661971833,4.64121109859155,4.573352112676059,87.56566197183098,71.8169014084507,8.496901408450704,26.171830985915488,8.841846274778883,1.674310422535212,544,17,119,10,10,176,75,142,0.234,0.6579999999999999,0.108,-0.9616,0,0,3,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,12,12,0,0,4,0,4,5,3,1,2,32,23,16,0,4,12,0,5,3,0,2,2,3,0,0,8,4,0,1,9,0,0,3,5,6,1,0,4,8,15,6,15,17,2,13,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,7,7,74,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281491781553605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626590967860548,0.1273938196262597,0.0,0.0788488178409045,0.11554239889247747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19425089527724929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542108480658105,0.1973650954286675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420177252066526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896215323717524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134707785662032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28509014378612874,0.2416807984873907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226305837149407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3471922659403969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15116974571276087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16527575216771176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095869874402631,0.0,0.0,0.0752723798768625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000898358967246,0.0,0.08289620443588049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726657307244207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265820292585534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260439017487302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427767486587384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125618035571252,0.0,0.16957244502871555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093036399141725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17904768974309435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013904450172318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698767350976236,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Imalwaystiredwhy,2019/04/08,"I'm not sure what's going on. Help? First of all, i'd like to say that I have little to no idea if this should go here; but here I go.

​

Okay, so. I'm not a wizard with words but i'll give it a go.

So I feel really happy, and like i have a load of energy, i can do anything and everything so much better than I can most of the time, but sometimes i just feel like, really drained, really slow and groggy. I'll try to explain each one the best i can.

​

So when I feel really energetic, i feel like im invincible, i'm super able and can do stuff which I know I can't. I feel like there's a burst of energy and that i want to be as active and move as much as i can. This is usually accompanied by some happiness, but not always.

When i feel really slow and groggy, i feel the complete opposite. I feel like i cant do anything, that i want to stay in bed all the time and that even moving is too much for me to do.

POTENTIALLY UNRELATED:

I can't remember a lot, like, my memory is dreadful. Sometimes entire days just go by without me realising it and it's rather concerning. It's like thinking you're asleep and suddenly told that you in fact weren't asleep and were completely functional.

​

If anyone has any ideas, please say something. I'm sorry that the post doesn't make much sense and sounds like delusional nonsense but this is the best i could do with 10-20 minutes of thought.",2.428744292237443,3.957761349315071,4.309109589041096,85.83857305936075,75.91780821917807,8.154337899543378,23.46803652968036,8.841846274778883,1.5389926940639267,1102,33,239,24,24,375,141,292,0.049,0.677,0.275,0.9973,0,0,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,1,0,5,14,18,0,1,11,1,26,2,2,1,4,57,52,28,0,7,14,0,8,9,0,1,0,3,1,0,16,15,0,0,15,0,0,7,10,1,0,2,4,11,26,17,24,45,12,23,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,5,19,154,42,0,0.07717479808635895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421561435202551,0.25085658444983955,0.28132748063256363,0.05248150913531514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053962413225415035,0.0,0.12701656621223195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198037856992903,0.06825483736394042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183261496313792,0.0,0.0,0.061617796501483274,0.0,0.0,0.0497713602539514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050973226283184535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693597322603121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121751740455232,0.22053476469259448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06564484382749304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740330985682337,0.219301081231988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430801524493666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05172864038236125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424190658158092,0.0833620251951096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042413250732930785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393333728583281,0.07734942222945343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561125353612618,0.0,0.0,0.05151477699477295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404919376673893,0.2269294257582062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05229564048278985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847147531419118,0.0,0.0,0.0739121234821479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472007591388369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874240019040706,0.0,0.0,0.12274499401570828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059412929986377525,0.1526556973237727,0.08639086806389806,0.0,0.08225806632643383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834667990020845,0.0,0.0,0.07273633387017378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04945049443197157,0.0,0.061268169171969984,0.09000249077488405,0.0,0.0,0.0737438268248307,0.0,0.052396622013843874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499713691877622,0.0,0.0910393908828106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439375136615801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28132748063256363,0.0
mentalhealth,dudewheresmycar2323,2019/04/08,Anyone every done Psycho Drama therapy? My therapist thinks it will help to do a little extra each weak. There is a group therapy session class near me that does psycho drama therapy for PTSD. To be honest this sounds like it would make me very uncomfortable. ,5.389468085106382,7.827701085106387,6.064840425531916,72.50875,70.06382978723404,8.955319148936171,24.51595744680851,9.516144504307137,2.577472340425532,209,6,32,5,4,68,39,47,0.102,0.74,0.157,0.4535,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,1,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,2,4,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,22,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175227394313914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18992422999122915,0.22209682422713464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285695678344827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14547049208527751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602979180452883,0.21752086331786305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486906873446967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536962081007889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7445774306347409,0.2519883114036114,0.0,0.1390639248529736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17907230427407356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15417173448567886,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gary_llama_,2019/04/08,"Making Music and Coping I have chronic health issues, depression, and then depression from the health issues.

The health issues have taken A LOT from me. Had a carreer in audio in my early 20s, had to stop that and find something with less stress. 

Anyhow, I've been coping my making music. And recently was able to make a song directly addressing what Depression is like for me. My hope in doing something like this, is that maybe I can articulate something that makes it easier for folks with similar situations to be able to explain it to others, or maybe even themselves.

Anyhow, Theres a youtube link for it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy7xvytDA3s).",7.6240517241379315,9.378348991379312,6.849482758620693,71.78129310344829,63.39655172413793,9.593103448275864,31.74137931034483,9.827888789773867,3.337158620689656,537,20,81,11,8,165,72,116,0.129,0.784,0.087,-0.7275,0,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,6,0,11,4,0,4,0,19,18,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,1,0,9,6,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,2,7,3,15,12,2,7,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,5,6,58,16,0,0.2688617761600917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34735538075950056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879033372896929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286739628428135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4286812432720777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352020436391154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42093276274308294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135228309893734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428833375160465,0.0,0.0,0.3589346466655364,0.0,0.27010779163170784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327342841158672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15110595063538726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104743960289563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239024185162133,0.15399012810113266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abeecalledbea,2019/04/08,"Have any of you quit social media in order to improve your mental health? Does it work? I've been struggling a lot with my self-esteem for a long time now and been on therapy because of that (and other issues) for almost a year, but lately, I feel like my insecurities are starting to affect the people around me (specifically my partner) and I'm starting to think that social media isn't helping me that much. 

I don't believe that social media is inherently bad, so I feel ridiculous and weak for wanting to quit, but I do feel like it's affecting me and that I would be better off without it. I really want to prioritize my mental health. 

Any advice? 
",5.681279527559056,6.2715166850393675,6.861092519685041,74.14707185039373,67.18897637795276,8.55472440944882,29.260826771653534,8.472884824447931,2.2389062992125983,517,17,91,7,8,175,79,127,0.165,0.7440000000000001,0.091,-0.8778,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,4,3,8,1,2,4,0,10,3,0,2,0,21,19,8,0,3,3,0,3,2,1,1,3,0,0,1,9,7,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,3,15,3,16,15,2,12,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,2,9,65,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550585028474588,0.0,0.0,0.13885708386425413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885995011697272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344490826818807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578291539676695,0.08453140293025273,0.0,0.0,0.15623260200247527,0.0,0.1226415597736481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135027343151655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21034580704923586,0.19813048108223352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947975608735844,0.0,0.0,0.09294698202320432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473452442340942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642479710719792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549344628603258,0.0,0.0,0.12271779949243232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789151924089003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794916969475424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193775199085016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961357014352452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949833371409254,0.0,0.0,0.08883498327411915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446621252879136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4240670866778398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963014208554255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449670630144687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858021345781692,0.0,0.0,0.08885356705749205,0.0,0.0,0.08085907371875625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358126881435375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367207449795698,0.0,0.10095276428322693,0.0,0.0,0.0985065577789221,0.0,0.0,0.08929836098030354
mentalhealth,reviewofthemind,2019/04/08,"New blog featuring articles on psychology, mental health, and the research focusing on these topics Hi there! My name is Eloise and I’d like to tell you a bit about me and my new blog.

​

My main interests are psychology, mental health, and the research that focuses on these areas. I have been passionate about psychology ever since I began studying the topic during my A Levels. This led me to completing a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, and a Master’s degree in Mental Health Research. I am currently working as a Research Assistant in an NHS mental health trust, so I am hoping that the blog will aid me in creating quality content related to my field of work.

​

I'm classifying myself as a beginner in the blogging game, and I do not get paid for my writing. Some may end up enjoying what I put out there, and others may not; but I am keen to learn and open to feedback from anyone who takes the time to read what I write!

​

You can find me on various platforms by searching Review of the Mind, or the username @ReviewOfTheMind

​

And finally, here is a link to my blog: [https://reviewofthemind.wordpress.com/](https://reviewofthemind.wordpress.com/)

​

I would love to connect with other people who blog about psychology and mental health, as I want to read a lot as well as write a lot! Thanks for taking the time to read this post :\]",8.761324041811848,9.237616723577236,8.243344947735192,67.25853658536586,60.6260162601626,11.093612078977934,35.457607433217184,10.7630783206399,3.969853426248549,1118,44,179,25,14,354,134,246,0.011,0.873,0.116,0.9698,1,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,0,2,0,3,9,10,0,0,19,0,14,7,0,1,1,35,24,18,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,0,12,13,0,0,3,10,1,2,2,0,1,0,3,0,24,10,36,17,6,28,0,0,0,2,12,15,0,7,11,130,36,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38865885279820817,0.4358682317351158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050163250841692826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832302152475655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521948680141279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354158121955313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489419825708853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858919057072125,0.06557033452399633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0374819174127147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38128873587257184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712553918339529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03504922137098239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198393557464142,0.06474940916754877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614922576028594,0.0,0.07243835689223369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857657098691809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049736449601340216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870842441736709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211991620019717,0.0,0.0,0.21528242509103304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05934522257412155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788120010851704,0.0,0.06270514059393886,0.06604983694869583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836659676849159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04231493300950522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450412911215207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445717871566676,0.0,0.0,0.05096302802422436,0.0,0.4358682317351158,0.0
mentalhealth,spd90130,2019/04/08,"One of the top posts mentions this but I don’t feel sad. But my doctors and even what I’ve been reading online have been pointing me towards severe depression. 

In my head, I just feel like I’m not myself right now (I moved to a new state for work and don’t know anyone and am still trying to find my way) I’m friendly with the people at work but I almost never go out. I get invites and I either accept and cancel last minute or decline the invitation. I just sit at the home and binge watch TV shows. 

I’m financially stable, have a great job, a roof over my head, food to eat, I don’t have anything to be sad about. But I noticed I have been distancing myself from texting and going for walks and stuff. 

I don’t feel sadness, I kind of just feel nothing. Like I’m stuck in a routine and I can’t break it. What is this feeling? I’m against medicine and would use it as a last resort, so is there anything I can do to help my situation?

Thank you",1.012236180904523,3.0312786030150782,2.699545226130656,93.43022236180904,82.06532663316581,4.985025125628142,21.507788944723615,5.985473137389443,0.09542391959799001,738,23,163,5,20,243,116,199,0.122,0.726,0.152,0.6419,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,3,9,11,0,0,9,0,19,5,2,1,1,34,36,17,0,1,10,0,5,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,7,12,2,0,8,3,0,4,7,4,0,1,4,6,23,7,21,30,1,25,0,4,1,0,4,10,0,2,8,106,30,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404190000493566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805131624779836,0.0,0.23079289375663736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077895703318155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435302341611392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348918588341705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261987431112842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35451975835460864,0.1001795632553508,0.0,0.0,0.12816668575120865,0.0,0.16956535786569607,0.0,0.1083405101028489,0.0,0.0732638191533108,0.0,0.1593906453333668,0.0,0.0,0.15460287130856148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878306409547819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399248428739122,0.0,0.14066103300955987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915555818329342,0.0,0.0,0.1460268335755463,0.07706614311965433,0.2286105599160984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370175270231475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904114194288012,0.0,0.0,0.10815318231617292,0.1354339577119326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345534237349187,0.15965154654535846,0.0,0.0,0.09502274040153913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721707160275267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325616484962072,0.0,0.13430053551943733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026686064007024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197547252521136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841875678330505,0.0,0.0,0.15762317324128847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198699082710203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052855557353965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910394246996018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952062268589591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211127568620619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111307183786431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041766371347276,0.0,0.0,0.09961459622141194,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cynicalblisscj,2019/04/08,"disassociation tips (for loved ones) for the past few days, i’ve been disassociating a lot in front of my boyfriend, my family, and my friend. obviously, disassociation can me tricky from an onlookers point of few. here’s some tips that may help a loved one who experiences this:

triggers - it kind of goes without saying that figuring out their triggers will help someone tremendously. everyone’s disassociation is different, but here are some common triggers to look out for:
-yelling/angry muttering/anger in general
-confined spaces
-crowded spaces
-darkness
-feeling ignored 
-bright lights
-disorder (such as a messy room, a chaotic event, etc.)
-loud or sudden noises
-some images
-even things as simple as colors, tone of voice, and certain songs can be triggers. figuring this out will help you and your loved one more than you think. 

how to tell - there are many different ways that a person may act when disassociating. here are some things to look out for:
-anger
-holding their breath or faster breathing
-sweating
-shaking
-arguing excessively
-flinching 
-crying for seemingly no reason
-restlessness
-a vacant stare, usually at something random
-stiffness 
-uncooperative
-unresponsive
-unable to speak/respond, especially when they’re asked about past experiences or their name is called.

what to do - again, everyone is different. here are some common things that help people. make sure you figure out their triggers and talk about what does help them. 
-give them something to hold or touch. a stuffed animal, blanket, warm cup of tea, a pet, etc. warm things usually help the best. 
-give them something to eat or drink. again, warmer things are typically better. sour or spicy foods may help too. 
-make sure they’re okay with this, but physical touch, like holding their hand or hugging them, usually helps. be careful though, because it makes it worse for some people. 
-say their name in a clear, quiet, soothing tone 
-talk to them about something else. anything that gets their mind away from this. 
-ask them if they want to take a short walk. just up and down the block, unless they’re up to going farther. 
-take them to a place where they feel better, away from chaos, crowds, or small spaces. 
-dim the lights (or turn them up)
-eliminate overstimulation. i prefer some background noise, such as youtube or music, but i find it best when there’s just one thing i can see (my s/o usually). 

i hope this helped! remember that everyone is different. make sure you ask about triggers, signs, and things that help. ",4.580348856479944,8.021586134570773,3.9206558667550553,80.66164008120653,80.92575406032483,6.883675836924097,26.257913490222073,8.017231161292626,2.171448425588333,2028,80,328,41,56,603,238,431,0.1,0.685,0.21600000000000005,0.9954,4,0,5,0,1,0,110.0,0,5,17,4,24,26,2,2,16,1,21,13,4,12,6,84,48,30,0,4,18,0,7,1,1,5,1,6,2,1,26,12,4,7,11,2,0,5,2,5,0,4,1,22,31,21,52,40,15,48,0,0,6,4,54,25,0,25,18,206,57,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540152882437066,0.0,0.1840907587958716,0.0,0.123339965984482,0.0,0.0,0.040012913344778786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776812110728975,0.11610468852008722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702473808735641,0.0,0.06692331534717896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210133803805847,0.04233171232020988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743150567971547,0.07522795848101012,0.0,0.05744111427071483,0.0,0.0,0.06430121198318495,0.0,0.06716506396007409,0.05483294569499096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464096285364729,0.043353927641176335,0.0,0.0,0.1881625766271241,0.0,0.12841503635149062,0.06187858920548624,0.0,0.06637808166071467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999283913301165,0.0,0.07937091590801572,0.0,0.05071251359971556,0.0,0.03429365822306273,0.12593378259198384,0.03730414533521405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43996425096858,0.0,0.0,0.0651943182948018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835289751352723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03206789037620585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102404242361858,0.0,0.0,0.055803914047921635,0.17772522816967112,0.0,0.17525811702599514,0.06654762389966455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627665885256487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779146880634293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531966840768716,0.09101160888201272,0.057313426060751065,0.06857876419928867,0.0,0.06205005307601784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748780423046508,0.0,0.0,0.07435616948385064,0.0,0.0,0.10439750388389936,0.0,0.0,0.052305769243818884,0.05975526272548566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05561569526975053,0.20212837643587864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18559188727664835,0.0,0.09870468910323997,0.10551625251816868,0.057371362213934574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30525335459311137,0.04205880839312945,0.06448996518832614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139636220289572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28916825497462434,0.0,0.038715571414911415,0.05210116757025488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327363498174439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689172894312996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,windyyy4,2019/04/08,"I think I have BPD. Who do I make an appointment with and can I tell them I think I have this? I think I'm borderline and when I say it out loud, I feel like I'm overreacting and diagnosing myself. Like one of those people who search the internet for allergy symptoms and come out believing they have cancer or something. Should I make an appointment with a psychiatrist, therapist, or what is the first step? And can I tell them right off the bat that I'm suspecting I'm borderline or should I not mention it?",3.067744774477447,5.140326049504953,4.442112211221122,83.20286028602862,75.63366336633662,9.241364136413642,26.073707370737075,9.725611199111238,2.5393753575357527,405,15,83,12,9,134,58,101,0.07200000000000001,0.873,0.055,-0.3899,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,3,1,1,2,0,0,6,0,9,3,0,2,0,23,20,9,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,2,3,2,0,0,8,10,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,16,2,7,18,0,8,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,3,4,58,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462797993799341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753106153817952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882987766532038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218676031863791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052734298413887,0.15616310074388062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593535353464105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135872944629783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29182545693770745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812448068336515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154507419870225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18667748806643644,0.0,0.17383416980085534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682838056645562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22720214174006176,0.0,0.0,0.3821203668583718,0.0,0.0,0.25380367514167346,0.0,0.420197290231983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Runnin99,2019/04/08,"Just found out that one of my friends tried to kill herself two times I'm sorry if this isn't the right sub.

  
I am trying to be as supportive as possible, but I am not trained in the mental health field. I have some kind of experience with depressed people, I know the signs and everything.  
I was talking to a female friend of mine, which I knew was a kind of dark person... and she told me she tried to off herself two times, the last time ending in a two-day coma. She was hospitalized and her diagnostic is chronic depression. She is really a good person, and I would like to help her, but I'm trying to not add to her stress. I listened to her troubles (many of them I might add), but how can I help her to not attempt this again? I have a feeling that if I don't help her she will try again. Her biggest fear is failing and being disabled from the attempt.

  
Also, how likely it is for someone like her to complete the act? I found a lot of scientific papers on the net, but I don't quite get it.

  
Thank you so much. ",3.2212857142857128,4.1212604619047655,4.535714285714288,87.47928571428572,72.95238095238095,7.314285714285713,25.904761904761905,7.554174236665415,1.1608476190476191,787,25,172,9,15,261,116,210,0.13,0.7170000000000001,0.153,0.4931,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,1,4,7,17,1,2,13,0,20,3,0,2,0,31,32,17,1,3,10,0,1,3,2,3,3,1,0,2,7,9,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,7,0,3,7,2,34,10,26,20,3,15,0,3,0,0,27,7,0,5,10,127,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306807971068193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202095156595022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505469451015423,0.0,0.2004737699022291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307706864425667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459375611882178,0.11384079211071813,0.0,0.1309584987556069,0.058844615161439184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552066819266081,0.17982793548615994,0.0,0.06080311663506197,0.0,0.0,0.09761301105764092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237052161639466,0.0,0.0,0.2340187578668105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875589287845668,0.24238121070819135,0.06395874174827218,0.0948642501798734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705704010434401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894108912145456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798983098969518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728245201374075,0.1234595095048695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555180448526466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788612828868191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068240247224702,0.20323494838956965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119960427531466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237831730277736,0.0,0.0,0.07455523564225121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938685440172028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986073746997499,0.0,0.0,0.13027653208429504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13331151560396645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206527655734626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354086646320872,0.0,0.1071459577560472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20358423245200336,0.0,0.0,0.11120492520410807,0.0,0.3950678099360223,0.0,0.3410555144295171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267215636043461,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aok_1,2019/04/08,"Is this a psychological disorder or mental health issue? I have a friend who is constantly obsessing over the climate change and societal collapse. Over the past few years, I’ve seen them turn vegetarian and remove anything indulgent from their life. No buying new clothes, and not really taking care of their appearance. 

They have decided they can’t be happy because of the future the planet faces.

Said they accept sadness as a default state rather than embracing consumerism.

Is this a mental health concern, depriving yourself of any sort of indulgence in this way or is this a sustainable or even adequate response to the state that society and the world is in today and in the future?

Only interested in hearing from actual experts in the fields or people with past experiences.

",9.234705882352939,10.128654823529416,8.913529411764708,61.435882352941206,59.58823529411765,12.388235294117651,39.058823529411775,11.93303328291395,5.343723529411765,640,30,91,19,8,206,92,136,0.131,0.775,0.094,-0.6698,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,6,0,2,8,0,1,13,0,9,4,1,0,0,16,16,10,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,6,6,0,0,2,0,2,2,3,3,0,0,2,3,7,5,17,13,1,21,0,2,1,0,11,8,0,6,8,66,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.1716764470553381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963435296796518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14477046263888685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724163778073018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793662431352116,0.0,0.1861042657408812,0.0,0.0,0.19011134629411552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20162414580734392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619614309023325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720874295673207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359184463162992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872743697270256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739979717115665,0.19827913422588306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836189499349542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242603241784393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545800292880616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16990849584516765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337981297487931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358787292086066,0.1219635509849708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270141945237708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734401057803602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322729542942728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16675538213264113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19135479459467705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964028293509625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328928836735645
mentalhealth,Sir_Ewok,2019/04/08,"DAE have days where they can't remember what happened? Ok so, I wont rant to long. 

For the past few months I have been feeling disconnected in a physical and mental sense to my body . It's as if I look down on my self and I'm just observing the motions of life  and not actually living in the moment. Like I'l be having a conversation with someone but I will be doing that while looking at myself if that makes sense. My brain sometimes just fogs up and people at work will be talking to me , and I wont respond to them. 

​

This happened at lunch the other day people were all looking at me so I replied ""what?"" , they all just looked bewildered, however I didn't realize they all asked me a question. I know that is normal daydreaming however what I have been experiencing to me doesn't feel right. 

​

Next day at work I completely forgot what I had done the previous day, and when my boss said can you go work on those units downstairs , i said "" which ones ""  and he got mad and said "" you were in them yesterday mate . ""  I felt so embarrassed , but i genuinely forgot what I had done . Then when people ask what did you do this week, sometimes I can only remember fragments of what I was doing. I also sometimes look into the mirror and don't see myself, my hands look like someone elses as well. And when i close my eyes and try to imagine myself what I look like , there is like a mental black block , and I can't even remember what I look like. 

​

Just trying to find out why I keep zoning out, Its actually quite annoying , but I reckon I'm slowly getting better at understanding when I am in that strange zoned out state. But it can sometimes be hard to come back down to me if that sort of makes any sense . 

​

Ewok ",4.019885624579501,5.492974842565596,4.795233236151606,84.18008466023775,71.71137026239067,7.84252074456156,26.894931599013233,8.384062270229773,1.7559725050459742,1373,47,272,22,26,443,172,343,0.061,0.861,0.078,0.4245,2,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,0,3,5,5,17,11,2,1,10,1,36,6,4,3,3,56,68,31,0,4,12,0,5,5,1,4,1,3,0,1,22,19,1,4,13,0,0,3,8,3,1,1,18,20,47,8,35,42,4,44,0,0,11,0,20,22,0,5,23,194,69,4,0.0,0.0,0.1307490622559602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05357348052392615,0.0,0.29034322865794704,0.3256104647051725,0.04555685923275758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525695893120795,0.0,0.0,0.05151271506856455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05924898252690317,0.0,0.07441301296749543,0.0,0.07478523083360906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05770767863000824,0.07023984047539206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281719906841353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711215620796904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055963222205605886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044247586105711424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774633911195788,0.0,0.06432282854296871,0.0,0.06122947699766933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035000556527746106,0.0,0.038073099085309765,0.0,0.05357962456340305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848161385841055,0.0,0.06001167603736221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059545570283390914,0.0,0.0,0.03681705280733975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04731843284453438,0.16364454362631106,0.0,0.059155165920298326,0.05928581446033944,0.4500512806214975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943536428827878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502436449293762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534723775821156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124675510294412,0.0,0.06563793910320892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0453955149387693,0.050950436988648165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639514470811379,0.13933145921483073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07504637509979488,0.07125424130387506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276666399610858,0.05721080444742134,0.19117420734636548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338395283575628,0.0,0.06988726944852454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352421333748032,0.0,0.2650272154379732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384563432743433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096634501123553,0.0,0.0,0.06974103762963263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053736943839423436,0.0,0.0602338560325907,0.0,0.060449862687174186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631292796908876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256104647051725,0.0
mentalhealth,YouCanCallMeTK,2019/04/08,"I need help in helping my partner. My fiancé’s father suffers from MND and is now at the point where he cannot move, talk or even breath on his own. He requires 24/7 care and so strangers basically live in her families home and her mother is almost broken.

My partner has suffered from anxiety and depression since she was young, and so this whole situation was hard enough to deal with before it even begun. She has been to various psychologists, she is on and has been on numerous antidepressants and is even currently finished transcranial magnetic stimulation!

However even now she struggles to get out of bed, hates herself, has huge mood swings and is constantly asking if I think she’s pretty and if I really love her (these questions stemming from dreams she has about me leaving her). I have tried everything I can to help her. Changing the way I talk to her, going lots of things with her, getting her up, out and about after she’s been in her room for too long, and I tell her all day everyday how much I love her and how pretty she is...

But she’s still so depressed....

She has tried so hard, so much, and so have I...
What more can I do, what more can we do... I’m out of ideas and need help....",5.371025641025644,6.023000034188037,5.7230598290598325,81.81638461538464,67.8888888888889,9.316923076923075,29.70256410256411,9.3871,2.4097302564102567,944,33,189,18,15,302,128,234,0.08900000000000001,0.787,0.124,0.895,2,0,0,1,0,0,39.0,1,0,0,1,19,10,1,1,2,0,25,3,1,3,1,36,37,26,0,4,4,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,6,20,0,1,3,1,0,2,1,6,0,0,5,2,38,3,28,32,10,30,0,4,0,2,42,15,0,6,12,144,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304943953742585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940050558633946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487889139852972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104564267902239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528727122565173,0.0,0.1299937781522908,0.0,0.0,0.13279272281055435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924928248689883,0.1266868386982153,0.211677664213874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697084885853802,0.0,0.3246518952564895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043919609725264,0.0,0.11584302942300714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284024509791049,0.0,0.06983716437549603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22015782190356892,0.12132138929348987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294631782943476,0.0,0.1232615334854822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871979794487604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301152118193313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850782167164376,0.1087474691861743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447061802758743,0.22181316780079927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060503904488074,0.1806660906467194,0.1822321756461931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161640272746714,0.0,0.0,0.2500321030710527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765693257294412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872191031955658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164997628740324,0.1381254895607697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813441522809714,0.0,0.0,0.1284638518892958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753718534979028,0.10740504084404004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163791568442695,0.0787383785044333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16685879904215448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753869901220924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719433107816176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,noaharc566,2019/04/08,"I am a socially awkward people pleaser who is tired of living like this. I have never done this before but because of how far it has gotten I believe it is time I wrote this.

I am a major people pleaser. I am scared of confrontation. Even just walking past anyone on the street my heart begins to beat a little faster. Being around friends I am never myself I am just someone who is always giving banter and is always smiling. I am always the joker. But when it comes to being by myself I am someone different someone who is assertive and someone who is serious. No one takes me serious because of how I am. I am always that guy who is always joking around and when it comes to serious matters I am always laughing.

I am scared to bring up anything. I am scared to have any sort of confrontation with anyone because I always want everyone to be happy. I am a very awkward person but I do not show it if that makes sense. I always put on this fake persona as in me always joking around. I also overthink everything. I am also awkward when I comes to things such as friends doing something and I just overthink it e.g a love song playing around me and people I know and I just get cringed out but I wouldn’t show it.

This is just barely half of what I’m going through but I have given you an idea of what it’s like. I’m 20 years old in uni. 

I need advice guys. I’m sick of being like this. I have been like this my whole life. And I have the feeling it’s because I was brought up being a softy. My parents were definitely not strict enough for me in fact they were not strict at all which enabled me to be such a softy and someone who didn’t take anything serious and still have a child mentality. I literally have the mindset of a child still.

I would of never ever in my life would have thought to write something like this but it has gotten so serious that it is fucking up my mind and it’s leaving me in such a bad state. Every day constantly thinking why can’t I be normal why can’t I be like my friends and just a normal person

Sorry I rushed this. I was literally typing everything from my mind.",1.6997200340642955,3.967516344262293,3.4214706195443902,87.81720486480734,81.10772833723655,5.4743240366191195,23.521875665318287,6.680037744263671,0.8288646370023418,1657,59,324,17,44,551,177,427,0.111,0.723,0.166,0.9809,2,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,1,2,25,31,3,6,16,0,55,7,1,3,6,63,82,28,0,8,16,1,1,6,3,3,4,1,0,6,34,20,0,0,5,6,0,9,11,16,0,2,13,2,54,15,42,58,4,46,0,0,0,2,23,19,1,2,23,252,88,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761273836351832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066418917538544,0.5181528129688858,0.0,0.0,0.04705231804118763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676004639293696,0.0,0.11387675332483785,0.2463789797269025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777167516558685,0.1687130000015274,0.0,0.058876526652863824,0.0779546714835395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17880600818715198,0.0,0.07477099434360929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04462253297582092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228996889556094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080651399001027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149289826181993,0.0,0.045700066445839294,0.06258730772657033,0.058296482688184624,0.06611505748414799,0.12436899149181566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034985097169845464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603706077329915,0.06396605345395379,0.036149491977662616,0.06637440418158827,0.03932289444763835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702012678088946,0.0,0.07365520844768142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199178207187585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781083255765471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038025616936834886,0.0,0.0,0.07326338041008597,0.0,0.0,0.09774343485956076,0.2028196475899364,0.06934765548868961,0.06109700553412406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06244766567002509,0.0,0.04618559395327796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972835099289153,0.0,0.13972656588067572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05130432107301497,0.16009331652432005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355851671193159,0.0,0.0,0.07260441620716729,0.0,0.046885677426300634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682852405289173,0.0,0.0660507304044397,0.1439051822827372,0.12082999265456873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955616233294253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20781707317108775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053160907783068,0.2931269561428583,0.10653337236435256,0.0,0.07745376737387914,0.0,0.0,0.11051219751554436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040461867231087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04596748980418665,0.04433486059457487,0.0,0.05493000161729265,0.04034588458117775,0.07952498659522861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05708990059596024,0.040810701184767685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248684045654248,0.07724938788743006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983027390212513,0.0,0.0,0.04455679739704902
mentalhealth,-m-e-s-s-y-,2019/04/08,"I’m scared for myself (tw/// self harm & suicidal thoughts) I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense and sounds like rambling but I (18F) don’t want to do this anymore. Every day feels like such a struggle to me now and I don’t know how to get better. 
I’ve been taking 10mg of lexapro for depression and anxiety for almost a month and I’ve been going to therapy along with taking it but I honestly feel worse. I’m cutting again and I’m currently sitting here on my bed writing a suicide note. I just feel so tired and done with life. Getting out of bed, going to school/work, going to practice, fuck even breathing feels like such a chore to me now. I’m worried I’m going to do something, I don’t have a plan but there’s definitely a drive to do it. The only thing stopping me is what it’ll do to people around me but I’m kind of starting to not care anymore. 

I don’t know what to do ",0.9293365061590108,2.9456753882978752,2.7678835386338214,92.84184210526315,82.35106382978724,5.447256438969768,22.66069428891377,6.5966054737557815,0.4944000000000002,695,24,153,7,19,231,105,188,0.235,0.662,0.103,-0.9803,1,0,1,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,2,12,13,2,2,7,0,16,4,1,2,0,31,43,13,2,2,7,0,4,3,0,1,2,1,3,1,8,11,0,1,7,0,0,5,6,6,0,0,4,5,12,7,24,38,0,17,0,1,0,1,2,3,1,2,11,89,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634554817416353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753035965894945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416277328056438,0.0,0.27007019955429423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121213566309287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120423317492534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882518879178593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781256463828835,0.0,0.11727524835531215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933995163225624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993303990438717,0.0,0.114721494116323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753883208081005,0.19454685566907629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587862743303152,0.14227697933014466,0.0,0.3095336799745449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417907025758402,0.14966102202158446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617452348821537,0.19956412406660895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088850820229236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086823912921688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035565572300136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439687588506622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632088957287108,0.1378021761125941,0.0,0.0,0.142045592659156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482337087350707,0.0,0.15242106398762958,0.09637543900916608,0.0,0.0,0.11383667208818947,0.0,0.14234501491640855,0.0,0.2978760139293408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475221570100294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571194160046714,0.0,0.09045930162407463,0.0,0.0,0.10809660491961473,0.0,0.15649701081595885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031127093711009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912681155935657,0.13827807964901764,0.13875966620847388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ShoLeigh84,2019/04/08,"Research on Harassment  

\*Volunteers needed for psychology research on\*

**Individual differences in how online behaviours are interpreted.**

Researchers at Swansea University are conducting research on individual differences in how digital and online behaviours/communications are interpreted.

Following the link, or scanning the QR code, will present you with an online survey to complete.

**Participants**: Age 18+ only

**Time required**: approx. 30 minutes

**Place**: on your PC or mobile device

​

The data are being collected by the Department of Psychology at Swansea University, and in collaboration with the Welsh Government. The research has been approved by the departmental Research Ethics Committee.  

This research is funded by the Welsh Government and European Social Funds as part of a KESS 2 studentship award.

​

Your data will be processed in accordance with the General Data Protection Regulation 2016 (GDPR). All information collected about you will be kept strictly confidential. Your data will only be viewed by the research team. All electronic data will be stored on a password-protected computer file at the researchers’ residence and place of work.   
Please note that the data we will collect for our study will be completely anonymous as no personal information will be asked for, nor will the survey software record any IP addresses, thus it will not always be possible to identify and remove your data at a later date. Therefore, if at the end of this research you decide to have your data withdrawn, please do not submit the questionnaire, or, if you have already submitted, contact the email address below to attempt data removal. 

​

Permission was obtained from moderators before posting within this subreddit.

​

**If you would like to take part, please use the following link** 

[https://swanseachhs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_9F5H1OZZr7i7KjH](https://swanseachhs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9F5H1OZZr7i7KjH)

​

For further information, please contact [559168@swansea.ac.uk](mailto:559168@swansea.ac.uk)

​

**Please share!**

**Thank you**

Department of Psychology, Swansea University, Singleton",9.243243006993012,13.892311150641026,7.220326340326341,55.92618881118885,73.71153846153845,10.272261072261076,39.783216783216794,9.688023934748609,6.229926923076925,1797,102,183,58,44,530,174,312,0.019,0.923,0.058,0.8841,0,0,0,0,0,0,127.0,2,11,0,7,3,5,1,0,21,0,30,0,0,5,2,37,38,16,0,5,8,0,0,1,0,11,0,0,2,1,5,9,0,3,8,1,3,6,4,1,0,0,3,2,13,4,41,16,4,32,0,0,2,0,24,19,0,6,7,131,18,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758091675721305,0.0,0.05716164834741951,0.4466009088490228,0.5008483584764408,0.046716512801533966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422269252028938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05845633383419475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405560269119258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143548092758183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084540833614253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033562025767231524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0509381699342313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044947690385308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878494072533674,0.0,0.0,0.059983823684470035,0.143548092758183,0.3770449740144605,0.0,0.0774458723037874,0.06579301395353422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002823570802548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516518124542352,0.0,0.0,0.06324723468547161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04005794213742903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059332401552660764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001244516276187,0.0,0.0,0.04880058365979099,0.0,0.5008483584764408,0.0
mentalhealth,LiberaIAssassin,2019/04/08,"This Is As Simple As I Can Explain What Ever It Is I Have. Ive Never Been Diagnosed Because My Parents Wouldnt Care Either Way So Its Usless To Even Go To A Therapist In My Eyes. If Anyone Knows What The Heck I Could Possibly Have. Note: the voices are usually not my voice I hear voices in my head at times, i like to have scars on my face, i like to have dark under my eyes i have high anxiety,depression and i struggle to figure out who i am. I change moods quick and sometimes have a high burst energy  that causes me to scream or twitch very sudden. Also i am very very very paranoid and ive struggled in school all my life from the lack of focus and the rest. ",0.8234772182254169,3.0028889496402877,2.7952230215827356,91.52717505995209,83.96402877697841,5.7210551558753,18.61918465227818,7.03164865440522,0.2505737170263793,520,13,111,7,15,174,90,139,0.112,0.835,0.052000000000000005,-0.7943,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,2,6,0,17,7,4,1,3,19,22,10,0,4,4,1,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,7,21,3,17,19,4,17,0,0,2,0,4,9,1,2,8,83,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467643591402935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901175721830336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950376797105413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895459933968245,0.16015643522759895,0.16492584378849748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447672131503072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427995507889692,0.1582393587653957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297317403142166,0.14102416543144933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886038810944561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000256372109567,0.0,0.17571522816885685,0.0,0.0,0.3294424390812485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856808047561464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011966186253573,0.15233371628333506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202428371613244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731130300926719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17575842442679987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15778325160404752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419312091487655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32596958824200944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101665240860554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090892240502448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170631742015194,0.51454877217489,0.0,0.1237494014350056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darknessandmystery,2019/04/08,"Sexsomnia research I am a fourth year psychology student from Vilnius University, Lithuania. This year I am writing my BA thesis on sexsomnia (NREM parasomnia), which is a sleeping disorder in which a person engages in any kind of sexual activities while being asleep. Right now I am looking for people who (have) experience(d) sexsomnia episodes and would agree to fill out one questionnaire now and a second questionnaire a little later. All the data gathered by the questionnaires are kept confidential and will be used only for the purposes of my BA thesis. If you have any questions, you can message me here or use my e-mail, provided in the description of the first questionnaire.  
As it is pretty difficult to find people who experience such episodes, any of your help will be appreciated!

  
P.s. You can fill out the questionnaire if you are 18 years old or older.  
[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScFSYo-KVwzvijaNaNtgKEWFm2PosD\_X2kVaUjKG-fiAjrZPg/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScFSYo-KVwzvijaNaNtgKEWFm2PosD_X2kVaUjKG-fiAjrZPg/viewform?usp=sf_link)",14.203893540669858,17.917365717105262,11.070143540669859,40.3069138755981,49.72368421052632,11.579904306220095,36.844497607655505,11.389717465364855,5.090992105263158,927,35,105,23,11,274,100,152,0.033,0.8740000000000001,0.092,0.8463,0,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,0,5,0,1,4,3,0,0,11,0,17,2,2,2,1,17,21,9,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,1,1,12,2,17,14,1,20,0,0,1,0,13,8,0,5,10,79,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3904575709104141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193508031089344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872172389343314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749280149338769,0.16279718759350498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282854323549668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993043978217174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19182418095210274,0.0,0.0,0.16072033642506134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083278337674929,0.0,0.12969157511246324,0.14556157000617626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653730063078226,0.16711534234341574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947135738272693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144018545951315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344696942517695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152933884109208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306009516728099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359587592775601,0.0,0.0,0.3697488158600421
mentalhealth,love_kaylaah,2019/04/08,First depressive episode in awhile This weekend I just hit a real low. I don’t know what caused it but I came close to hanging myself on Saturday. I’m not sure what to do because the impulses come and go; I’ve tried talking to family and a therapist but neither help. I think I’ll vent on here more often or keep a journal. ,1.3521321961620458,3.5742840000000022,3.289125799573561,88.52895522388063,82.13432835820895,6.813646055437101,25.989339019189767,7.957251820313856,1.7120592750533057,256,11,53,5,7,86,52,67,0.14300000000000002,0.857,0.0,-0.7704,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,1,1,17,10,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,2,1,0,4,3,2,0,1,1,0,5,1,6,8,2,12,0,2,0,0,2,5,0,2,3,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075344378268262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203730709420331,0.0,0.2877517942605809,0.0,0.2412913580397032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24125972804197554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640643062455096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382628010621359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591938889445719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877529145324192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24897607840105795,0.0,0.0,0.1539420209199499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188283480457895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640018870703763,0.0,0.0,0.2251431098914408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32523118067405704,0.0,0.17948421582403906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017740311819975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deaddontopen,2019/04/08,"I have no one to turn to despite seemingly having a ""perfect"" life I'm sorry if this will sound incoherent but I am on the verge of breaking down. I am using a throwaway account if that matters.

I am from a conservative Asian country, so think r/AsianParentStories culture. I am in my early 30's, gay but discreet because of the culture I am stuck in, in a long-term relationship, moved out from parents' to live together with my bf (important context because this is not common in my country as most people here will live with their parents till they get married), helping out in my family business and on the outside, life seems great. I have a small but close circle of friends, my relationship with my bf and family, basically living an upper middle class lifestyle.

Now this is where it gets fucked up. I have anxiety and depression. I have no one to turn to.

My bf was initially skeptical of mental health illnesses, as he believed that people were faking it to get away with stuff. I don't blame him because in most of Asia, having mental ""issues"" is very taboo and many people don't really have open discussions on the topic. Heck, many of us are warned not to disclose our condition because it will affect our careers. After being with me for a few years, he has opened up but he doesn't really know how to help me. He usually gets frustrated if my breakdowns last for days. He also feels guilty if he has to go for business trips while leaving me alone at home. So I tend to just try to cry in the toilet or something when I'm home because I don't want him to be affected, or to have to sacrifice his career just because of my stupid breakdowns.

My friends, we can talk about a lot of things but they are the only group of friends I have left. When my mental health issues were at its worst a few years ago, I isolated myself and lots many friends. And even with this current group, they don't know that I actually have anxiety and depression because I don't want to lose them. Also, I have a bad encounter with a group of ex-friends who became so politically correct over time that basically I was attacked because they felt I was ""richer"" and therefore, more ""privileged"" than them. I wrote a bad review on TripAdvisor because of rude service to my parents, and they just attacked me online for that because they said I don't understand how it feels like to be poor. My depression became worse after that point.

My family, that's the worse. On the outside, we're a nice upper middle class family. Having lots of events together, having a business that was started by my grandfather etc. But in reality, the bonds are breaking and getting further and further. There's tensions almost every day, and that was one of the reasons I moved out. I believe the main cause of this is my mom. She has depression too, and used to go for counselling but stopped lots of years ago because she felt the counselor was just giving her fake sympathy. She seems okay on the outside now but she is extremely narcissistic and manipulative. She thinks that she is the best mom in the world (seriously, she self-praises herself). When I threatened to kill myself sometime last year, she wanted me to move back so she could take care of me.

Little does she know that she is the main reason I wanna move out. Whenever I (or my siblings) have issues, we cannot share it with her or even show unhappy emotions at home. Why? If sharing with her, she will start going into pity mode and say stuff like she failed as a mother and all she wanted was for her children to be happy etc. If we show unhappy emotions, she will say that the house isn't a home anymore etc and why can't everyone just be happy and not cause problems at home.

On to my dad, he is hardly there to deal with it because he is managing the family business. I do know it is extremely stressful because I work with him and also being a typical Asian dad, he is emotionally shut down. The company isn't doing so well and I do wanna get out of it, but my depression is making it difficult for me to get out. My constant breakdowns make me fear for working with another company, with strangers and in a society where mental health issues are taboo. Furthermore, I feel guilty for jumping a sinking ship especially it's my family's. But it is frustrating, because I don't get paid on time and my dad also racks up huge bills on my credit cards but doesn't pay them often. And after having the severe breakdowns last year including threatening to kill myself, my dad has been giving me less and less tasks. So sometimes, like now, I just sit in the office and stare blankly. My mom says its because he doesn't know what to do with me anymore.

I have tried to seek professional health in the past. But it took me a long, long time to get a counselor I could get along with. One counselor I saw before just kept saying ""I don't see anything wrong"" when I tried to describe my problems. I stopped because I can't afford professional help anymore (and my counselor moved to a different company where the rates increased) and I don't live in a country with social welfare, so there is no way I can get free professional help easily.

I am sorry for this wall of text but I really have no where else to turn to.",6.336673254281951,6.5802871600790525,6.729106719367592,76.85960210803692,65.73913043478261,9.632042160737814,33.368642951251644,9.430408475229573,2.9996323583662714,4154,167,768,73,60,1350,378,1012,0.17800000000000002,0.7190000000000001,0.104,-0.9982,8,1,1,0,0,2,113.0,6,0,10,6,42,52,10,3,46,1,91,9,0,14,3,149,150,72,2,16,33,11,6,3,7,5,7,6,5,1,37,57,0,6,18,2,7,12,24,31,1,4,19,15,124,22,131,118,20,119,1,8,3,2,95,62,2,21,44,551,161,15,0.0,0.0,0.03856169666271951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005670145943152,0.0,0.03956934111500937,0.04092642607713602,0.0,0.12640300554266215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041435736049093896,0.06045892018651267,0.0,0.11756709325241688,0.0,0.0,0.03251811626904669,0.0,0.0,0.0899097986133406,0.03712637185612864,0.03038519219141146,0.06598804392441,0.385415199500791,0.0,0.033625014470760564,0.0890414943174948,0.041469368451041454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04028896670422187,0.08118717310673937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042702515072273316,0.0,0.0631002626076261,0.0,0.0434062238619748,0.05096881226980418,0.04073902940213847,0.17017439764850825,0.0,0.0,0.04128557488684387,0.0,0.0,0.034580521426659815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033010359871434865,0.13334978625735672,0.0,0.0,0.13221160559700434,0.05219959406288519,0.0,0.03329374515487495,0.03775901689559855,0.0,0.0,0.22351173792908755,0.04446623346995885,0.05994109021747794,0.028230077908333588,0.07588268275014744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264895061661532,0.036531697695214166,0.2270989791617517,0.07581426514009408,0.06737317756344151,0.0,0.0,0.04356628198476048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413055561183334,0.03539837315305355,0.0,0.0,0.16801368603539427,0.0,0.0,0.10594636542654924,0.0,0.19818772369795015,0.0,0.0,0.04559589943016888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497681237861145,0.0,0.0,0.08743670166914375,0.0,0.10858418392268376,0.09663189338302268,0.0,0.04184150062028415,0.04293400569551743,0.0,0.05582232170305361,0.05791623566192866,0.03960518821140555,0.13957261489406372,0.1049106534689964,0.0,0.044208045033550684,0.0,0.1343795969090014,0.0,0.0,0.052754173974157284,0.12018838231323595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592904299523046,0.0,0.0,0.13884119600698352,0.0,0.20999507843081872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710764860339034,0.03005352791200905,0.0,0.0,0.13163277692706776,0.0,0.03772227901194576,0.08218578968158459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03735518046895839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562252085086596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594445292159863,0.0812575971013028,0.0,0.08485030902819886,0.0,0.0,0.03758855151605666,0.12569812287877322,0.0,0.0,0.03148895694378899,0.1079210337022225,0.0412235719103507,0.04464157858958507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040281356776890063,0.0,0.03042117454117886,0.0781642247580897,0.08846935092204285,0.05593893856206016,0.0,0.0,0.06607391542408414,0.04526518731817882,0.0,0.09047221774768983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02971094537233382,0.031761283510874094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02625252537337191,0.0506402267185787,0.0,0.0,0.06912589940349766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04390348054745625,0.08048585302980972,0.1289454494897323,0.0,0.04113731588762667,0.047532612469828685,0.0682578851575589,0.043521043959613384,0.03260465320910827,0.09322971281852616,0.03136578327895955,0.0,0.0,0.03552942782270393,0.0,0.07131368219475231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05753591038007499,0.0,0.08053990231047932,0.0,0.043204297212013534,0.0,0.12723431921180126
mentalhealth,gloombud,2019/04/08,"Asshole I’m incredibly socially inept. There’s a long history that has shaped who i am. But in my few decades I’m starting to question my mental state. I’m generally just an asshole. I am alarmingly aware of my personality and it’s insensitive actions. I have acknowledged that my presence is unpleasant to most, as is my intention to avoid social contact. But I fear my social detachment might be symptoms of an acute mental disorder. I’m not sure I can divulge any further. ",3.8362421972534335,6.576468629213482,5.9003745318352046,70.37305867665421,76.19101123595507,9.348813982521847,35.73158551810237,9.725611199111238,4.461231210986266,384,23,62,12,9,133,61,89,0.21,0.79,0.0,-0.949,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,3,0,9,1,0,1,1,13,14,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,11,1,7,12,2,7,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,3,2,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422549141785379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23974740404058514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353944936029893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512466816404394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216243109477369,0.22191525556968067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18265476549128573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343382715364041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6397220209719386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806423985068273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715707689892667,0.21742627705968373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Electricsquib,2019/04/08,"Anything I can look up to help this? Since somewhere in highschool I've had this problem where I cannot talk when I am severely stressed out. I want to speak. I can think in words and think of what j want to say but I cant. As ridiculous as it sounds it is as if the words and stuck in my throat and are not able to go through. I am now 22 and trying to be able to communicate more in my romantic relationship. I'm sick of this not being able to talk. Its frusterating for me and the people close to me. I have never found something exactly similar to what I go through and have never found a stratagy to move past it or cope with it. I have never been diagnosed as autistic or adhd. 

If anyone has experience to this sort of thing (even if you have adhd or autism) how did you communicate with people when you need to?  How long did it take you?  Can you do it with everyone now or just specific people?  Is there a more searchable word I can look up?

Thanks for checking this out",2.407884108867428,4.075326621890547,3.639086918349431,90.03113257243197,76.31343283582089,7.11747146619842,24.26134035703834,7.928766900206844,1.1208990927714373,765,25,169,12,17,249,105,201,0.063,0.8590000000000001,0.078,0.4325,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,5,0,0,10,4,1,1,4,0,23,3,1,2,4,41,38,22,0,7,11,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,15,12,0,0,4,0,1,3,7,3,0,0,7,5,20,1,34,29,2,22,0,0,2,0,11,10,0,8,9,127,35,1,0.4001672309530362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32061549821806884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932687440779742,0.0,0.10976784487218057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353871053210983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810222732581363,0.0,0.0,0.12745897932185524,0.0,0.13048011264781298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29250847599402163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161617280537776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940788658153834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804513562168373,0.22402645953871972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177147902664328,0.0,0.09890631041703474,0.3086336380382487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733496727022328,0.2774255721895267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763533208568062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320994921267255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060763478634764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069168930105706,0.0,0.11034082288613838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268942826323024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279673701092006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029198541677332,0.21442617478316686,0.0,0.1228067406995018,0.0,0.0,0.08861777566833677,0.1709406690334083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056242738339776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735266719436478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,racinnic,2019/04/08,Midnight shifts So I’ve been taking a good bit of midnight shifts for a coworker with some family stuff going on. I’m having a lot of trouble with not being anxious during my shift. I start panicking when everyone I talk to goes to sleep. My brain just goes into anxious/crying mode. I’m not this bad on my normal shifts. I can handle it all. Does anyone have some kind of advice on this? What can I do to try to stay calm for my eight hours? I still have two more midnights after this one. ,1.7034999999999982,3.877894350000002,3.1780000000000013,90.089,80.5,5.6000000000000005,19.0,6.742157984588678,0.1876999999999996,385,9,78,4,10,126,67,100,0.057,0.835,0.108,0.614,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,8,2,2,0,1,11,13,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,3,1,0,9,3,16,11,6,11,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,3,5,56,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920334436150139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4440149417853385,0.0,0.13740875878509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408289316442828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21454489076034328,0.0,0.0,0.21937717081782465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21586391622016396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197272916046896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18777973604950235,0.0,0.0,0.18525806815158385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168473598998836,0.16482853990286964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935289598744507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20464147467661628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707112176530362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925442392604531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331645235841135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966582111215586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390952411064684,0.20946021718416108,0.1569381625713247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249641352613532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775579288051774,0.15795234952106418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342166083971374,0.0,0.1919678598175257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,4n0nym0u5p1g,2019/04/08,"Confused/Suicidal (misanthropy) I have been diagnosed with c-ptsd but I truly believe that my suicidal thoughts are unrelated. I've had suicidal thoughts as long as I can remember, well before I was diagnosed with anything.

The reason(s) that I want to die is because of society, not because of myself. I have friends, I've had lovers, I enjoy my job. Anyone in my position would likely be satisfied, to the minimal degree at the very least.

I love many things/people, I am very confident and happy. My mental health is relatively good, with only momentary issues once in a blue moon (maybe 2-4 times per year).

I just don't see the point. Everything is meaningless, and society forces so many things onto us. I am in significant debt thanks to student loans. 
I HAVE to pay taxes on my money and they expect me to do it myself. I CAN'T say certain words, bike without a helmet, do drugs, etc. 

I can't handle the expectations. The force. I don't want to go to jail, but that & death seem to be the only options (long term). If I don't conform, I will be punished and rejected. I'm not built to play this game. 

I want to commit suicide to avoid having to exist in/conform to society. I'm NOT depressed, I'm motivated, I'm a normal person. I just don't have any hope for the future of humanity (and therefore myself).

It's my life, yet I can't do the things which I would like to do. Society is filled with immorality, sentimentality, hypocrisy, and ""traditions"". I'm tired of being told that myself or my disorder(s) or my way of thinking are the problems. They're not. I'm just being logical.

Can anybody relate? ",2.8659378349410503,5.2048344630225065,4.806054662379419,79.0697465166131,77.36012861736334,8.005187566988209,27.408467309753483,8.841846274778883,2.5063452518756697,1262,53,231,30,30,431,171,311,0.191,0.627,0.182,-0.7578,2,2,1,0,0,3,66.0,1,0,1,1,6,18,1,1,13,0,38,8,0,2,2,46,57,14,5,11,13,0,0,2,2,3,6,1,0,2,10,10,0,1,7,3,5,2,12,5,1,0,7,3,36,13,33,42,3,17,0,2,2,2,10,7,0,6,9,153,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634371388755953,0.0,0.07302053119256305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508099791857738,0.0,0.08836271372417005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091292195655946,0.0,0.09137053029357398,0.12097791899831604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248427220190293,0.21797224940259716,0.11144111977051313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245240640984136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975454092238193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650417025858507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295975948933024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061025232339927564,0.09006333636071204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430557876533687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413749429744692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665030348323996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120744412339596,0.10655581764872966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584405860496753,0.10491865948270278,0.0,0.0,0.19005180501841545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691258388097301,0.0,0.0,0.21772830733176446,0.10787535147937316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082114854410668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520736636416504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435376651471303,0.0,0.16333118814868314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444219037518894,0.09375808265075007,0.0,0.0,0.10150665218683792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274597559339263,0.12551880757650732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040217906796458,0.0,0.0,0.1216380238143574,0.0,0.0,0.08539107213119178,0.0,0.0,0.08556613995950615,0.09775264273147437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.469815186768029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885897718466237,0.0,0.0,0.14267397071286614,0.06880330673889952,0.0,0.1704918296689221,0.06261281157227078,0.12341489231586596,0.0,0.10260401226339816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916217512363667,0.0,0.0,0.17719572768332054,0.19000248252875326,0.08523143547682242,0.0,0.0,0.09654546510338766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10350828952265992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255610179996318,0.0,0.0,0.06914773064578664
mentalhealth,JoaoZevas,2019/04/08,"I think I have a mental problem. what do you thing The most od the time I can help listening music in my head, in my mind... I don´t know why. Maybe I should se a Dr   
Don´t you have any idea whats is happening to me?",-0.7337500000000006,0.9616847916666664,1.6748333333333356,100.1535,86.5,5.506666666666668,15.85,6.742157984588678,-0.5823800000000001,162,3,43,2,5,55,36,48,0.062,0.8759999999999999,0.062,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,6,2,1,0,0,7,10,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,10,0,3,9,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,27,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21199848629263945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756766293211786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31994211355656466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089572811399497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35192414483353857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713278658002813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.313191520910803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141674093343298,0.0,0.3147753574610534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982995459320645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20711069428353152,0.1997547353101209,0.0,0.0,0.18178204210598192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28130296078584865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thefinalcucumber,2019/04/08,"I don't know what's wrong with me, but I need help. As of lately, I've just been.. less of a human being.

My mind is always slowed down and time seems meaningless. I can spend hours doing something that feels like minutes. 
I'm always tired and hungry, yet I'm always so aware that I'm awake and I can't eat anything without wanting to go lay down and sleep. 
Most days, I'll stumble around school and home, muttering and grumbling, unaware because I'm so tired and distant.
I've put myself on a healthy sleep schedule (most nights I go to bed at 10 and wake up at 5:30) so not getting enough sleep shouldn't be the answer.

I want to consult an actual doctor but I don't know how to bring it up with my mom or stepdad. I am thinking of just straight up telling my mom just to get _atleast some answers._

Thank you for reading.",2.6096196111580703,4.2238221893491135,3.291821639898565,92.96238165680477,75.62721893491123,5.5386306001690615,25.68089602704987,5.773587663045528,0.581804395604395,646,23,138,3,14,203,111,169,0.081,0.805,0.114,0.531,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,0,4,0,11,8,4,1,0,35,29,16,0,4,8,2,1,1,0,1,3,0,2,1,4,11,1,0,7,1,1,4,6,1,0,0,1,1,14,2,22,25,5,22,0,0,0,0,7,10,0,5,9,80,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.13345822096917184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413863098891602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254198653378432,0.12174556706730764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336774460053431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819901092443333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997985308149716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399398201788939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130983819834694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915006302191644,0.09770150956842316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290311307868667,0.0,0.1554479392215089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166747492756634,0.0,0.13718162483358368,0.0,0.13468124236270845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031965152841112,0.0,0.15427145513228127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668141225240304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808880949475674,0.3203437714958908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140595060440394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834017721810895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748176789491168,0.0,0.0,0.13679720275908194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840861710883154,0.0,0.12450134381644976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4105768802539195,0.0,0.0,0.10528467846134627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953443707592852,0.1259104118711183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763040986563808,0.0,0.0,0.07974596863112647,0.3143714484015772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613294109314461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183194624327002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14952580262665344,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ojr832,2019/04/08,"I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m losing touch with reality. I don’t feel anything. Well... I’m 21. I left college after my first year to pursue my dream/ own business. Honestly, I was learning a lot and if I had kept at it regularly I could be making enough to at least be semi financially independent as I had been earning good money before I stopped. 

After being depressed (last year) I sort of stopped, and now it’s April 2019 and I’m pretty much lost in life.

I realize nothing I want to do has any happiness or value. I recently got a job at a dance bar / venue. Honestly, my main source of happiness is getting dressed up and being fake and happy doing my job there, people give me positive attention and I feel empowered and attractive. I get to socialize and pretend I’m a normal person who likes to have fun. This is only 1-2x a week max, sometimes not even every week.

I do random local odd jobs around town, those are all temporary / one time things so obviously it’s not a reliable source of income. 

I no longer have a passion or interest in what was my dream for so many years. It’s ironic that now I have way more experience, way more clientele, way more professional equipment - I’m suddenly over and done with it. 

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I used to tell myself that I was making a plan, and I believed it for so long. Now I realize, THIS is my life. THIS right now, THIS. And frankly... I’m done and bored. I feel like I’m almost disassociating with reality. 

What do I do... what can I do? I feel myself slipping away from everything I could have ever wanted. And now my main source of happiness is getting compliments while working and dressing up and dancing the night away.......????? And even then, it’s a facade. The real me would never go in there for fun... ever. It’s a facade, but it’s like that’s the person I wish I was.

My home life isn’t great. Basically my mom is addicted to pills so she sleeps literally DAYS away, and my father yells at her for taking pills and then at me for not doing anything. As a result, I feel guilty to leave the house for too long and have chosen to not get a FT job since otherwise my high mom will be driving around to pick up my younger sibling, leave the stove on, etc etc... she’s gotten into wrecks, and fell asleep with food cooking. At this point, I can’t trust her. I have sick pets I take care of everyday. 

God how I wish I could get enough money to move out. But honestly, I’m at the point where no job interests me unless if it’s a party like atmosphere. Which is a problem. 

So it’s like..... I’m stuck here in my home because I don’t want a FT job and the guilt of leaving my house is a lose-lose situation, and + / or I become depressed and almost just suicidal for working in a job that I hate. 

I don’t know anymore. I have 1 friend only, so I’m not social at all, though I wish I was. 

What’s the point anymore for me? And no I’m not suicidal. It’s more like I’m slowly losing my grip on reality and I’ll eventually go into some really bad phase/ crazy lifestyle just to feel something. Anything. Which is why I’m suddenly obsessed with the party life style, at least then I can pretend even for a couple hours a week, that this is my life. That I’m not the person I am 99% of the week. I don’t want to end up like that, I wish I was happy and satisfied doing things that matter to me, but I’m not... anymore.

And as of tonight, I just ended my long term relationship. We do break up and get back together sometimes, so it’s not like this is the first time. But we don’t live in the same country anymore, and honestly I don’t even feel anything. I honestly don’t care, about what I did. Like I just don’t care, and have no emotion about it. And we’ve been together for about 5 years. So yeah that’s my life.",1.9915345268542204,3.6871087800511546,3.9543350383631735,87.19472506393866,77.56777493606137,7.106393861892585,23.77621483375959,7.9785057094961775,1.2097309462915595,2934,96,632,49,68,998,298,782,0.107,0.723,0.17,0.9949,10,0,1,0,0,0,130.0,2,0,0,9,38,47,1,2,32,1,69,16,2,7,6,121,126,58,2,16,24,3,10,10,1,2,10,1,4,3,43,43,3,3,15,8,2,7,26,12,1,3,18,11,85,35,80,98,20,96,0,5,0,1,19,40,0,11,55,422,128,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525473000623494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653468998709726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03277901614824935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390171822425844,0.0,0.0,0.15866457133429893,0.0858200072947298,0.0,0.0,0.13586211053123656,0.037064366321778966,0.04024666056848725,0.029383494701731343,0.05323532720894185,0.041016355798192336,0.05430715301111482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743546901835822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545613568394204,0.05333460144084224,0.0,0.031086305412410326,0.0,0.08303263212289587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986547724789292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054220767533059815,0.08538533819381107,0.0996111122328966,0.10751595384506707,0.12734787813794385,0.0872029458293153,0.040612267938625664,0.0,0.04332085378751313,0.047150809886591656,0.0,0.0,0.1949790552847316,0.06887104365149196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200120123537985,0.058286055478113975,0.0,0.03724074930082946,0.0,0.1511013481099353,0.046239755171981235,0.05478862023191868,0.040429554657001265,0.03855154653677421,0.05314288040664431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565596518534756,0.0,0.04758950040032012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05092806449374848,0.09670108183415264,0.0,0.0474692651258539,0.11123728351657124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348313641721835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947168366042485,0.039291067308413016,0.0,0.15311688963562026,0.05237161919975605,0.0,0.2042790087520648,0.23549064744317116,0.0,0.04256325329731158,0.1279717721295567,0.0,0.16177714116513306,0.052618182216803366,0.040979620719792935,0.0,0.0,0.06435042493276379,0.048869267214299454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290721078739388,0.0,0.05123110272727233,0.035434019686162985,0.0,0.0371763576237545,0.0,0.0,0.045234316166007885,0.04722773040189801,0.04625112357439989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032662925897359835,0.0733195933581994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03341720089634041,0.12626439393325758,0.0,0.0,0.13669942426518394,0.0,0.0,0.049038767765871766,0.0,0.046122808724328536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486443416911818,0.03087943852673579,0.0,0.04759366455900495,0.051750914006498214,0.0,0.04116424868657141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987319643628155,0.054181072925608066,0.048236815662945284,0.09827174724528692,0.0,0.0371082581946523,0.0953460304427689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059806863044018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545033939256296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248381751936453,0.0,0.042130676742243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404654024768594,0.0,0.04735822493348355,0.0,0.05621395320180273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04163105574406704,0.0,0.0,0.1137231650934504,0.11478152325949295,0.15465896284645242,0.0,0.04333939109972541,0.0,0.04349481194606923,0.0,0.22171970649138595,0.0,0.0,0.07018326708451479,0.0,0.0,0.03424132119244476,0.0,0.0,0.12416204278086017
mentalhealth,FivefingerDeathmama,2019/04/08,"Stop accusing others of faking mental illness I came across a post on Reddit and it was saying they think people should stop faking mental illness.  If they truly are faking it,  shame on them.  But at the same time,  how does one know who is truly depressed or who truly has anxiety?  You don't know.  Someone may look truly  happy but may be the most lonely person.  How about we stop the stigma of what mental illness ""should be""",3.8934920634920616,6.032763604938271,4.656190476190479,82.29,73.44444444444444,5.616225749559083,20.213403880070548,6.18269132825596,0.3976440917107582,336,7,56,2,7,108,57,81,0.299,0.598,0.103,-0.937,0,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,1,3,0,3,7,0,1,4,0,11,3,0,2,0,21,16,7,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,6,3,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,2,2,6,1,7,8,2,10,0,2,1,0,9,4,0,5,4,44,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832967078452367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22176501294098586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670020721593296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16967942341510353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064055656026447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21311999888811609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628235442411068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5862037469672204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138873640840762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442285647872632,0.16930223606213107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18569847161117575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541936336881547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428718742687326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4863164323178847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424052785673287,0.0,0.0,0.11306213507809518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,menamo,2019/04/08,"I need to understand so I can help. I have a roommate that has a thyroid issue, aside I'm pretty sure she has bipolar disorder.  Really back mood swings.

Past few months it's been imposible to live with her se is constantly accusing the rest of the roommates that petty things are going missing like car keys, the original papers for her car, a pen that only works on her notebook tablet and no one else in the house has use for.  She is convinced that someone is taking her stuff and moving things around just to mess with her.

She keeps her room locked even if she is sitting in the living room with the door less then 6 feet away.  

I think she might have dementia or a brain tumor besides the bipolar.",5.3305271695052685,6.161177656934309,5.333527980535283,83.9362692619627,68.05109489051095,8.424655312246554,28.360908353609084,8.515128840125781,1.9263599351175995,557,18,108,8,9,174,95,137,0.109,0.7809999999999999,0.11,0.3134,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,11,0,13,5,2,2,1,17,22,6,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,3,0,8,6,0,1,2,0,0,4,1,2,0,1,1,0,15,3,14,20,3,18,0,1,0,0,12,7,0,3,7,75,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643960430866982,0.0,0.0,0.1735041674686855,0.14200034129315495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20615353486852786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995633819309151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116485796381472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426864304246718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197323165836327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495259387912413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378085314194336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21308515147330348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927481938870319,0.0,0.16414377094048746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022075817502156,0.0,0.3261351586207373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959063908504655,0.0,0.0,0.1474023618500847,0.19627568994273276,0.0,0.13693095712957398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251376209913174,0.14045036127087282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628904435779671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187876455215634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183047558851944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647085401635727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140372778935204,0.0,0.0,0.17404991498553601,0.0,0.13884935650353392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24537396632822506,0.11832950458074565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19224867360155934,0.0,0.15949616061770405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344424425410143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AutonomousCarLover,2019/04/08,"Check Mark Life, Short Fuse, Low Tolerance Threshold, and Being Disappointed At How The World Is No Longer Hands On Hi everyone! I consider myself to be a very high strung and driven individual. I was the first in my family to be born in the USA, my family came from what was a Communist country in the mid 70’s. Throughout my regimented and strict life I was always told to work hard, study, and always learn anything and everything I can (from working on a car, building a house, or milking a cow). I was taught to be hands on and never back down from a situation.

What all this did is push me through my Bachelors, Masters, and eventually a Ph.D. In Mechanical Engineering (that I paid for myself, the Ph.D. was paid for by work). I push myself at work and have an amazing position! I am fortunate to be where I am and have a comfortable life with a wife who is also an Engineer. We make good money and things are great. Another thing to remember is that we don’t have kids 

A few things that I struggle with are, in my opinion, related to how I was brought up. I have a very short fuse, as did my father, and at times I find it difficult to try to work on projects without losing it very quickly (this only happens outside of work, I somehow am able to deal with issues at work) . 

I also have a low tolerance for people who don’t listen. Example: I am asked for advice and the person ends up not taking it. OR: Person does something EXTREMELY stupid, I see it on Facebook or hear about it and I get ticked off! I have no clue why it happens but it does 

A thing that has REALLY been grinding my gears is how people are no longer hands on. My wife and I are VERY hands on people. We fix our cars, our house, and tackle ANY PROJECT that comes up. I often junk pick things off the garbage and fix them for fun, because people throw good or easily repairable things away! My dad and I always did projects and fixed EVERYTHING we could! I am fortunate enough to have a wife that is also hands on and isn’t afraid to do any project! In our investment properties we did most the work and are now reaping the benefits (via renters). The big thing that gets me is even within my own family (cousins and in laws), no one is willing to even try to do things. My cousin paid a dealer $50 to change his air filter. When I told him that I could teach him how to do these things he said he wasn’t interested in learning. The dealer also told him that his brakes need to be done soon so I said that I can do it with him and teach him, this way he can do it in the future. He said that he would rather pay me or someone else, because he rather spend his time playin some kind of settler game with his friends . To top all that off my sister and her husband just bought a house with a small barn/farm setup that needs work, they’ve been asking us about various items. We’ve been going over things and telling them that a lot of it is easy to moderate work and can be done relatively Inexpensively. They decided that they would rather pay to get it all done. A thing that I told them in regards to a farm is that they will need equipment. I asked who will service it, they indicated that it would be done by the dealer or they will simply hire out the lawn mowing, snow plowing, and associated farm work. Mind you they are NOT rich! These are just some examples, but I know a lot of people who don’t do things themselves anymore. Facebook is flooded with examples like these daily. What happened to the hands on people? Why aren’t guys being “guys” anymore? These are not people even remotely close to what our grand parents were!

Finally my “Check Mark Life” is REALLY messing with me lately. I use to take victories one step at a time, but lately I’m having a hard time with it. A big thing that has caused this is that in my life either everything happens at once or nothing happens at all. I am now at a everything at once phase but it is harder now than ever before! We are so busy that the past three weeks flew by and I feel like NOTHING was accomplished!

This being said (also TL-DR):
1. What is a good way to deal with my short fuse, how can I eliminate it?
2. How can I better tolerate people who make poor decisions? Better yet, how can I deal with them in a manner that has no effect on me?
3. How should I deal with a world where no one is hands on anymore? How do I just step back and watch people pay serious cash for stuff they can do themselves?
4. How can I get my “Check Mark Life” in check to allow for me to appreciate the smaller accomplishments again?

As always, thank you for taking the time to read my post and thank you in advance for any suggestions that you may have",4.297065450643778,5.194764916309016,5.003967274678113,85.12401958154507,70.43776824034335,8.314270386266093,26.57966738197425,8.567472430010655,1.6526289699570813,3650,112,761,58,64,1178,354,932,0.051,0.858,0.091,0.9928,3,0,1,0,0,0,106.0,11,4,11,22,45,29,1,2,48,0,106,14,7,17,6,125,154,60,0,12,22,10,10,2,1,9,6,6,1,5,72,51,1,1,9,2,18,14,17,10,0,5,37,18,101,19,111,96,15,105,0,4,2,0,84,62,0,16,28,549,173,28,0.04431323442142248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04330237981451194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718638778440465,0.14748864359127845,0.0,0.0,0.09040355691637288,0.04646629003294733,0.0,0.0,0.131840463674274,0.0,0.0,0.036466016196559606,0.0,0.12428067701127833,0.0,0.04163374244140285,0.06814828395470708,0.0,0.05402587280545496,0.0,0.03770729866869538,0.0,0.0,0.07838290953789928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05068253499775872,0.0,0.04552189839300983,0.04687752629266578,0.03817192769212708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076102376960702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18273999560357085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755762012760781,0.1813912961579644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03701802120905248,0.0,0.03924837283257005,0.04578741683155948,0.0,0.08780542022184662,0.04008385751472554,0.0,0.042343194491611016,0.1593035110564974,0.0,0.12532372090694655,0.0,0.022406102787188204,0.03165738352486712,0.0,0.04854298229488187,0.04050149345925021,0.03769281456143567,0.0,0.0,0.034236294990260284,0.0,0.09260734409556272,0.0,0.025184232320582374,0.11150351581656684,0.0,0.04885549738907841,0.0,0.08775413798799887,0.19593023426079914,0.0,0.07939190807063032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049944235780722684,0.0,0.0,0.046819365131628495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153394568740742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046251503796222115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046145414545676784,0.024353394746816158,0.0,0.09997451715199288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779848781930603,0.043298415980755886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957517443118965,0.0,0.075347054497669,0.0,0.0,0.05915885614840812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04474373448248842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857310549759067,0.034177098210049224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503948712379249,0.0,0.0,0.09438429686259137,0.0900833834384301,0.03370221160831118,0.0,0.0,0.04920460270725774,0.0,0.042301996402237516,0.2764909547213049,0.0773852141113096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04243982926634271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04432522621199008,0.0,0.0567763853511609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019825625068559,0.0,0.16860813425339552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0353119105800725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980993214141926,0.0,0.0,0.03754645972339028,0.03411449280636688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04632581405198172,0.05072805156408041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999541123045242,0.0,0.0387317200691932,0.08159534516887824,0.0,0.0,0.3827166708578376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919701674361442,0.0,0.0,0.16937277796644407,0.0,0.06017155475008702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330336486432578,0.0382724067578872,0.0,0.14625223702005138,0.0,0.07034756574488679,0.035545403719769636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997160316526478,0.0,0.0,0.04271637666079331,0.0,0.3548661866955736,0.0,0.0,0.09443655097251323,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,waveshost,2019/04/08,"Over the last few months I (19F) have had occurrences where I’m suddenly sad or irritated . Has anyone else experienced this? To keep this relatively brief, over the last few months I (19F) have had occurrences where I’m suddenly sad or irritated. I’ve tried to figure out what triggers it, but every time I think of something, I realize that there have been other things to trigger it before, of I’m just making an excuse. When these occurrences happen, the best way I can describe it is I literally just shut down. I stop participating in the conversation, I get quiet and just sit there. I lose all motivation to do anything. It happens relatively often, every few days or so and it’s really frustrating. Most of the time I make it worse by getting mad at myself for feeling this way, but can’t control or stop it. I have anxiety, but it’s been under very good control for a few years now and this feels different. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice?",4.915169692186269,6.729495690607735,6.206838989739544,73.58984806629836,69.99447513812154,9.591318074191005,28.950670876085237,9.957137785484203,3.045828413575375,764,29,136,20,14,257,105,181,0.16699999999999998,0.7490000000000001,0.084,-0.9348,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,5,11,7,2,0,7,0,14,0,0,7,1,32,27,12,0,0,10,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,18,4,0,5,6,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,4,5,12,2,17,23,7,28,0,3,0,0,2,10,0,6,14,96,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396945639944542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721471445739656,0.0,0.10936064755167033,0.0,0.0,0.1999157676512293,0.2929498247831841,0.1176402833981404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164469180436972,0.0,0.15002308917771265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206737365101029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219453965717307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493581820594753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388421308430265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408925279065543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456529978623575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937680805915585,0.0,0.0,0.11990438010232946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528303411095292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706551131471167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23305579837042914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993075684937635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19084795458038395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22821160218462255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158102199909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100542099277478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23903457603148215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497335267787584,0.09160018023845892,0.0,0.0,0.16671712733289493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097057472841999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179533467400949,0.0,0.226943012529528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568397588396187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205872348942533
mentalhealth,TheRadDad420,2019/04/09,"Crying! All the time! Some background, I've [F20] been on Zoloft and fought like hell to get off and multiple people in my life keep trying to convince me to go back. Lately my emotional health has been up and down, I got absolutely torn down by one of the two family members (everyone else is dead) I have left, didn't get to go to therapy last week (therapist was sick), and works being whack. Basic humany stuff. However the thing is I find myself just breaking down all the time! Cat (16, esa) throws up on your Fancy Blankie™? Cry for an hour+ and snot all over your loving boyfriend's shirt. Work suddenly bump you from 15-20hrs/wk to 31 without warning? Cry all the way home (10m walk in the rain.) Now that you're ""home"", where you live alone, in an apartment that's falling apart for double what it should be worth, well that's at least an hour cry, followed by several little break downs for the next few hours. When it starts I just can't stop and it's driving me crazy. My loved ones are worried and I just don't know how to fix me. I have no intentions of going back on antidepressants, that's a last resort thing for me.

The question(s): How do you stop crying or figure out why you are? Also where do you feel you were around 7 months into your treatment? I thought I was doing okay.

(For context my Sister [48] said I've made no progress, compared my progress to that of a heroine addicted hooker (I was the lesser.) That my semi-religious boyfriend is just using me to get the rebellion out of his system and doesn't truly care or love me (not true, if he didn't love me he wouldn't stay by my side through my crying episodes), he also is too good for me (true, I'm incredibly lucky to have him in my life). My job is trying to shake me up so that I'll quit because I'm not ""bubbly"" like I was when they hired me and I look like a trainwreck because I cry before work. I'm not an addict, I don't do drugs, drink or smoke, yet she insists I do and she won't believe otherwise. And there's more, it got worse, it was just... So bad.)",2.9496710526315795,4.215681703349284,3.845044856459332,90.76125149521536,74.07177033492823,6.851794258373207,23.828050239234447,7.292943589461545,0.7699112440191387,1584,45,348,17,32,508,231,418,0.123,0.745,0.132,0.705,3,1,3,0,0,0,75.0,0,9,1,6,23,19,2,1,17,1,35,14,1,5,6,51,62,23,1,3,13,1,1,3,0,3,8,1,2,0,16,15,1,3,5,1,1,9,14,4,1,3,16,3,49,15,48,41,9,63,1,0,1,4,24,28,1,6,24,219,65,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680546932926007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798304645730176,0.0,0.12327989056359083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861653684952307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853778799101768,0.0643576376889318,0.09397312866893354,0.0,0.0655884420842422,0.08684149263661699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785870460103938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5926726430525974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550794933621968,0.08938701942487977,0.0,0.06438950616631882,0.08670335532982631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365216437210563,0.0,0.0,0.07266309972425461,0.0,0.03897339313280265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044869168214153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081158633547084,0.0,0.13141709599838866,0.06465010000301627,0.12329402883698508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193123549043375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463278445722886,0.0,0.22772148470287704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648888599133255,0.06851124209490753,0.0,0.0,0.04236053170874103,0.12565913487123995,0.08694832379450362,0.0,0.0837464188589024,0.0,0.1088861721446228,0.11297052888268418,0.0772532780765976,0.0680620552333585,0.0,0.06472683882075234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782667617092072,0.07293389141859444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061523619447817764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197425373715686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446127559754076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053436784008580915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634597583560998,0.08198286712219809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331965719405895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707718458881955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054556821608539176,0.08215582080378399,0.0,0.1288827750197734,0.0,0.0,0.0882368663236903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814640646573864,0.08949451007128664,0.10241555384392703,0.0,0.0,0.06119201377155094,0.08989061905068686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466298762264097,0.0,0.07529485695791191,0.0,0.0,0.06657139659140407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118162006466485,0.06182802098127014,0.0,0.0693031618190697,0.0,0.06955169221580364,0.0,0.0,0.07430128106713435,0.0,0.16834300825398307,0.07827733498641007,0.07854995456960932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Merchantlime,2019/04/09,"Am i going off the deep end? I don’t really know how to phrase this so I’m just going to say it, a few weeks ago I started seeing something, well someone, it was one of my friends from high school I don’t know why I started seeing her but I just did. For the first few days she showed up randomly and would say very little or nothing at all but, she started appearing more and more frequently and started saying more, now she shows up everyday and we have full fledged conversations, she has thoughts and opinions, I am questioning my sanity. So I don’t know what to do. Is this normal or should I seek help?",3.02390243902439,4.643878747967484,4.07691869918699,87.74074390243904,74.52845528455285,7.521626016260162,26.121138211382114,8.238735603445708,1.5741616260162612,478,17,100,8,10,155,79,123,0.014,0.92,0.066,0.7105,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,3,0,13,0,0,1,1,25,27,12,0,3,6,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,5,6,0,0,5,2,0,3,3,0,1,2,3,5,17,2,10,22,7,23,0,0,2,0,13,8,0,6,12,73,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661174090777535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666540306932412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648993172114688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068399357693825,0.0,0.0,0.12778294114008149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18799436546475734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086006587844112,0.1747477693054363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27268853785541475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657681698307406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620509363379258,0.158699937899438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120752083608643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852790553732424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595558762328013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3945836780818502,0.0,0.1673874885607298,0.2635950994394047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401377413711771,0.1273283288258807,0.0,0.0,0.4682667037565818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313043068685044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646731487778607,0.0,0.0,0.1326690353794392,0.0,0.14870900736199294,0.0,0.14924229772894732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749110349923435,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MaggyChurch,2019/04/09,"Is anyone using Headspace app? I have been using the free sleepcasts on Headspace app lately. It really helps me letting go with my everyday anxiety. I fall asleep more easily.

I am considering starting meditation during the day. I'm thinking about Headspace because I like the way they talk. I also like that the themes change. And you can choose for how long you want to meditate. 

Has anyone tried it? Is it worth it? 

Thanks guys",2.670276179516684,5.6828499746835455,3.1931875719217517,84.9606444188723,87.22784810126583,6.417031070195629,23.637514384349828,7.686295010490155,1.6911164556962022,344,13,60,7,11,107,60,79,0.02,0.742,0.238,0.9503,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,1,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,8,1,1,3,0,8,16,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,5,5,14,1,9,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,7,36,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877934675794448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796443086015404,0.0,0.0,0.3283971946241713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315018947007688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484190045331784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144592414492514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334593016694695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325186216796655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574016001872329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26489847047954074,0.0,0.0,0.2401295870365289,0.0,0.2294521542935104,0.0,0.0,0.2078171619035741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504381123042985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621388392125347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874746022610348,0.0,0.21619991523065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046958311891512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594341565605277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4056354479340663,0.0,0.0,0.13850881928371364,0.18639712497384114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hydegraffix,2019/04/09,"How to help friend feel better I hope this is the right subreddit to ask for this because I am really in desperate need of advice. If anyone knows of any other subreddits to post this on please let me know. Here it goes 

My best friend has been dealing with really bad depression and anxiety these past few months since moving out of of her home with her abusive father. She now lives with another family member who often makes her feel like she is not welcome in her home. I won’t get into detail about what recently happened but she has recently been having a lot of flashbacks to when she was abused as a young girl. My friend feels stuck, alone, sad, and hopeless  and a lot of the time I feel like I can’t help her. I always do me best to make her days better but now I want to do even better. I know I can’t solve her problems for her or cover them up with material objects but what things can I do to brighten her day and make her feel better (I will be seeing her in a couple of days). Thank you all",5.285373983739838,5.154877858536587,5.9232317073170755,83.02322154471545,67.97560975609754,9.17479674796748,26.35162601626017,8.841846274778883,1.6841626016260165,791,19,165,12,12,258,123,205,0.136,0.639,0.224,0.9667,0,1,0,0,1,1,13.0,0,1,1,6,8,19,0,0,6,0,19,0,0,4,1,36,39,12,0,5,6,1,5,2,3,2,0,0,2,1,10,10,0,0,8,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,6,32,14,29,31,6,22,0,3,1,0,28,8,0,6,14,119,42,0,0.0,0.25284927616438724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426813772337523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051128127904426,0.0,0.0,0.08878476349615934,0.0,0.0,0.07256114301043835,0.11188654178830976,0.08162687748456515,0.0,0.0,0.07460864688822175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975213681461063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909186535662822,0.06504466002139775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22395471486906174,0.3774776371121099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180639353252942,0.0,0.20644224120343574,0.1100052647844112,0.09190243335482697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047578514751067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058932132218217,0.0,0.2697591473339412,0.15245612086319274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473135243240992,0.0,0.055747486337437514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435638751305632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304044736374796,0.0,0.2140619778365984,0.1059793430254064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17592218684307226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911021080509696,0.0,0.10425859317719187,0.0,0.0942199819398998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181428759552396,0.0,0.0,0.21367360593790105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851686639989907,0.11340753348921373,0.0,0.07911831623627531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185930671099168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712695421877435,0.0,0.0,0.10219119553832376,0.0,0.0,0.10209957811890694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367123006307914,0.0,0.2107110649592349,0.0,0.0,0.0911230807646764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502782460017573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826514791691964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823703366995684,0.0,0.0,0.07088818873052627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221890063768652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293571174181091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,huntbella26,2019/04/09,"Curious if anyone else feels this way? In the past 2 years or so I have been in a lot of situations that have raised my stress level to the max. I don't handle stress easily which may be due to a lot of factors of my childhood including divorce, emotional abuse, and anxiety. Because of this I feel like I am in a constant state of stress, anger, sadness and anxiety all packed into one emotion. I am distracted from my family and focused on the negativity rather than the positives in life.

Lately I have been realizing more and more than I will push people away with my negativity and anger; it's not purposeful by any means. I catch myself complaining more often now. When I find myself in these moods, I almost feel compulsive, like I have to clean, change the furniture around, color my hair, ANYTHING that breaks up the monotony in my life. Something that makes me feel like less of a failure as a wife, a mother, a sister. Almost as if I've lost my purpose and I'm trying to start over again as something different. During these ""highs"" I may say something to someone and unload all of my feelings on them and I feel like an embarrassment afterwards, and it happens quite often. These feelings happens between seasons of feeling like I want to disappear and wish away my existence. Then everything comes full circle and it starts over again. 

It's been suggested I may have some sort of bipolar disorder given the highs and lows I experience but I'm not 100% sure. My loving husband has suggested I may need a hobby or something to motivate me, as I've never had the motivation to complete anything I've started, but I'm not sure where to start. If you've felt this way please share how you were helped and what helped you cope with these feelings. Thank you so much for your time.",6.010008021390372,6.893630744117647,6.367272727272731,76.93863636363639,66.55882352941177,9.593582887700537,32.219251336898395,9.688023934748609,3.04285294117647,1423,57,259,29,22,459,183,340,0.128,0.758,0.114,0.0219,1,0,4,0,2,0,35.0,0,4,1,4,13,22,2,5,17,0,20,5,1,4,5,66,49,29,0,7,11,4,11,5,0,5,3,1,1,0,16,18,0,0,15,0,0,4,7,11,0,1,8,13,36,10,45,35,11,48,0,3,1,1,18,21,0,17,24,184,52,2,0.0,0.10178850669322126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205156653858655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058421289576355624,0.0,0.13144080285652254,0.0,0.0,0.06006980022530566,0.08802425970453945,0.14139211539337898,0.07647751651445052,0.0,0.0,0.16142928483886407,0.0,0.0,0.05236952948713925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088067875582866,0.07400327987489556,0.09007429680883901,0.09283746464172693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975696378266483,0.0984595337005778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176622061225743,0.19327286375984315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720976530744453,0.08403580832585117,0.08098766950800249,0.0,0.3909450415906445,0.24549456679190335,0.08248642808055986,0.0,0.07851957019279181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193867156932994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516642447827515,0.1815358453649926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690946489299776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136059921892682,0.2098547931484474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937801807829272,0.14607407848805176,0.07753652341383971,0.0,0.05734514410615265,0.0,0.0,0.0935804443035167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315324156091769,0.06370067879123939,0.06625857055345186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058214384581601185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201017523323215,0.05955871163328433,0.0,0.0,0.0943026449931639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913751460233232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831854645176708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096565685090388,0.0,0.0,0.0727906955507154,0.2645487940039635,0.0,0.0,0.2432282605397616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952265378308681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193705149734308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909376772536696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009442051862218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583267950546377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050671547991374015,0.13638165298657934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987914884261225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532279113325286
mentalhealth,joshlefler5,2019/04/09,"Self confidence and Motivation. Help me, please. I have zero self confidence, I'm overweight, I don't dress well, I hate my personality. The problem is that I really want to start dating, just to learn about it. I'd love a serious relationship, but I wouldn't say I'm ready for it. I just need to learn about it.

The real problem is that I have no motivation, I have ideas of what kind of person I'd like to be, I know how I could lose weight. I think I could round out my personality, I just can't convince myself to work on it. 

It's just easy to hide in my room and grab easy snacks and fast food. I need help finding that motivation and for the life of me I can't convince myself to do it.",1.6226472148541116,3.362818055172415,3.8151724137931033,87.57591511936344,78.79310344827586,7.220159151193633,21.498673740053054,8.139509932561175,0.8922679045092838,538,15,123,10,13,185,76,145,0.16,0.609,0.231,0.9022,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,5,8,11,1,0,4,0,13,6,0,4,0,29,23,6,0,8,5,0,3,1,0,1,2,1,1,5,10,5,4,0,9,0,0,0,5,5,1,1,0,4,22,6,17,19,0,7,0,1,1,1,10,4,0,0,4,79,32,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25590533042948393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647255670470874,0.0,0.19378414405869265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822121647466222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21483460236033344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180911340595202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688364480940454,0.08807339404889246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319469278273984,0.07829377571405166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17928727875983566,0.0,0.0,0.14463875431990325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23765798165906898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4197923037120514,0.0,0.17591473669876564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066897883862776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182408250610118,0.10266513173401214,0.0,0.0,0.17205670366164852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274432876360595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343672864501495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343116466577535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268660870735953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452409339809716,0.0,0.0,0.1951506012921763,0.14409084195856736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666945230426665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ploughboy,2019/04/09,"What do you say when you call a suicide hotline? (American) I want to try calling a suicide hotline but I suffer from really bad social anxiety; it's hard enough for me to even call in the first place, let alone while completely in the dark on how this will go.

I'm just looking for some general insight on what to except when they pick up. I just hate stumbling over my words and sitting there like a fucking idiot as I'm panicking and thus unable to think of words.",3.951566820276497,5.365152021505376,4.817235023041476,84.18870967741938,71.79569892473118,7.894930875576037,29.414746543778804,8.418075326091056,2.1550811059907837,370,15,72,6,7,120,70,93,0.319,0.642,0.039,-0.9865,0,1,0,0,0,2,8.0,0,2,1,1,7,6,3,0,5,0,3,1,0,3,0,16,11,8,2,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,1,0,3,8,1,16,9,2,13,0,1,1,1,8,7,1,1,5,50,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170062928191564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415957140212455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154545006221043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.567002245817211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19406659263229306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19125064964733604,0.0,0.12225224615576663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574400953526256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111558736426394,0.0,0.0,0.10519267356574244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580706060692268,0.1827411152015548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18927023404610416,0.0,0.09042713869929972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15543158617119293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19338289327186384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857537872231153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471934613225249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886791049847652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4049236166986485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118600184030652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566606430953406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917270531635936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonymice3,2019/04/09,"I had a good thought today I have a history of depression and anxiety, and as long as I can remember, I've longed for a relationship. I've been in several unhealthy relationships, and I tended to let people treat me however they wanted for the sake of not being alone. I felt worthless when I was single, and hated being around happy couples.

Today I had a thought. For the first time I thought, ""I don't need an SO right now - what if they slow down my plans?""

I had to pause for a second because I couldn't believe I actually had that thought. The fact that I'm so happy with where I am in life right now, and that I have such big goals for myself for the near future, that I would rather achieve those goals than be in a relationship. 

I'm not opposed to a relationship, but being in this mindset I know that I won't settle for someone who won't complement my life and make it more enjoyable. I'm finally strong enough to not drop my life, my ambitions, my self-worth just to be with someone who doesn't respect me. I'm finally comfortable enough being single, that I won't settle for anything less.",5.636038461538463,5.676268177272732,6.5109090909090925,78.52444055944056,67.22727272727272,9.86013986013986,31.92307692307693,9.661875296680813,2.823856643356643,869,33,173,17,13,289,115,220,0.067,0.8109999999999999,0.122,0.91,1,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,2,6,10,11,1,0,12,0,24,3,0,1,1,30,39,13,0,6,7,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,12,9,0,1,7,0,0,0,9,3,0,2,11,1,28,8,27,16,6,25,0,2,0,0,8,11,0,1,13,131,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.11062833961398416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741243137844645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672426959826347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932901174365863,0.10091929775633944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910653458096246,0.0,0.0,0.12772405684389512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543672957377122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764150795193084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342736574409304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884862343491472,0.2483726489124364,0.0,0.09642860569133284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508557254193266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413592887145205,0.0,0.11192492548926347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230269420338733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592386759586455,0.24022013932974234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006497363191944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567232745895335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405905504265854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859333863394563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4868483296067241,0.1284209713365983,0.19362697352607744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826490294989404,0.12807070602491202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921083793767196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599980612058008,0.06610431366838213,0.0,0.21491440862686367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668658878135755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053157294949327,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jebbinara,2019/04/09,"Multiple personalities? This isn't some ""Split"" movie type thing, I don't have distinct personalities as if I was multiple people. They're all me. My name, my age, my beliefs, etc.

But when I'm around different types of groups doing different things, I change a lot about myself. How I dress, how I speak, my accent, my word choice, my body language etc. Hell, even the pitch of my voice. Like I adapt to be a person I want them to think I am.

I've noticed other people don't do this. Is this some sort of disorder?",2.048235294117646,4.24143029411765,3.5429019607843166,87.82905882352941,79.3921568627451,6.825098039215686,20.9843137254902,7.908726449838941,0.8641654901960774,398,11,84,7,10,131,69,102,0.085,0.875,0.041,-0.7313,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,0,6,2,1,0,3,0,10,1,1,2,2,16,13,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,18,1,8,11,6,3,2,0,0,0,7,1,1,5,3,57,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883063703530105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106608032805216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20062684548141596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962922977740375,0.21735781383181169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4230245965088705,0.12526346751105016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265446899146934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16123549017718472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21592024889382266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629618660315472,0.4967908704416335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519929450201268,0.12152145065865833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118617616895554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,soflogator,2019/04/09,"Some Self-Reflection on Coping Mechanisms Background: 26M, depression, moved back home with mom

After a bit of self-reflection I've come to realize that I use the following coping mechanisms to deal with my own depression and life situation. 

1. Ignorance  (denial)
2. Video Games (distraction, cheap sense of fulfillment)
3. Substance Abuse (distraction.....still struggling with daily marijuana habit but 2 days clean rn)

​

These ideas have been swirling around my head the last few days and I figured I wanted to share them here so that I can become more self-aware about my own behaviors. #2 and #3 are basically methods of being ignorant so I can really say that my primary coping mechanism is *Ignorance.* I guess I could say I'm living in a *fool's paradise* where *ignorance is bliss.*

​

My friend/neighbor (28F) is much better at asking for help, talking about her problems, and working towards solutions. At first I thought she was a bit annoying because she would come over my apartment and start talking to my mom about her issues, but now I'm starting to realize that all she's doing is employing her coping mechanism of reaching out to other's for help and tackling problems head on. My ex-girlfriend was good at that too. 

​

While I was hanging out at my friend's apartment tonight I kind of noticed this contrast and ended up coming up with this [showerthought](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/bbfumz/friends_are_like_teachers_theyll_help_you_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x) about it later. ( **Friends are like teachers, they’ll help you with your problems but you have to ask for help first.** ) I noticed that she would always be taking the initiative to reach out to my mom and ask her for input on something. It's not necessarily that my mom is an expert problem-solver, but more that it gets her in a solution-oriented mindset that leads to a decided path of action. 

​

I noticed that I've only taken the step of talking to her about my issues one time in the nearly 3 months I've been back home (In hindsight she nudged me to talk about myself and then I felt comfortable opening up about stuff for about an hour with the help of some beers).. On the other hand she is over talking with my mom and her partner nearly everyday about how to handle some sort of issue going on in her life. 

​

At the end of the day I am looking to replace my faulty coping mechanism (ignorance and inaction) with a new set of functional ones (acceptance and action)......(the alliteration makes it sound like something out of a Tony Robbins seminar)

1. Acceptance (It is what it is)
2. Reaching out for help (using social support )
3. Taking action (*doing things)*

​

Anyways I wanted to share this with the world so I could help myself and help others. It was a few months ago where I was watching a Bellator MMA event where the theme was *supporting the troops* and during the commercials I heard a handful of veterans with PTSD talking about how their initial coping mechanisms were drinking alcohol and playing video games at home alone. That kind of clicked with me as I've spent countless hours getting high with marijuana and playing video games at home alone too. I started to appreciate my own (lack of) coping mechanisms and well here I am now with the intention of understanding and improving them. 

​

If anyone has any good material on coping mechanisms I'd be happy to check them out. (YouTube is good, I like to listen to podcasts/TED talks while going on a walk). I've been very very very slowly reading the book *Emotional Agility* which is great and I recommend to anyone interested in something new. 

​

Thank you. I wish everyone here the best. :)",5.678367643246047,8.303448748872185,5.4725291677469565,76.24862781954889,69.78195488721805,8.37568058076225,31.766269121078558,9.082995580727538,3.147899144412756,3018,135,480,63,58,935,305,665,0.05,0.7609999999999999,0.189,0.9986,3,2,7,0,1,0,158.0,0,4,5,6,30,40,1,2,29,0,39,9,4,8,1,89,75,33,0,12,6,5,3,3,3,3,3,5,5,1,29,43,3,5,10,12,3,13,1,14,1,4,15,11,65,26,102,52,16,88,1,2,3,0,60,43,0,6,34,328,94,5,0.0,0.048644906307453724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0363938612186414,0.043876612437765763,0.0,0.08504372257313876,0.0,0.0,0.034162063402484934,0.4003595681228233,0.3991024022099736,0.027919637001529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741492627795978,0.0,0.0,0.03654873960067582,0.1151460685889474,0.0,0.0,0.0631393967845513,0.0,0.02502749021503209,0.0453433685931619,0.0,0.0,0.04308596918756944,0.0363108895722911,0.0896455160153492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609889268171108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556010067164263,0.0,0.0,0.07943359485603559,0.042327159325425946,0.07072332304508658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04021946464775127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046182720696092895,0.07272724833601557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03923097696646537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039420409002646026,0.0,0.0,0.06984479832544975,0.0,0.0,0.09515979955972233,0.0,0.042900360102239514,0.0,0.0466663911379016,0.10330802654831084,0.0,0.04526462671907922,0.04522805427768453,0.0,0.0,0.04370510888180063,0.0,0.0,0.08427105144204415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201529469489007,0.04337814983296425,0.1647309419083272,0.0,0.08086421172918351,0.0,0.0,0.04634747420914513,0.0,0.12855607862463894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550746899873614,0.0,0.03346629842983015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799844373602835,0.060173984760242966,0.0,0.03625339382642021,0.0,0.034476883938671626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02740534518930124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24042273918336576,0.06554136509164249,0.04363626366528019,0.030181045174400057,0.0,0.0,0.07930470487424518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022833337441054,0.0,0.0,0.055641513481534524,0.03122510484150044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15714102842503794,0.047992523296759716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04106732969569555,0.0,0.026301665387950868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529910692616453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849177227484282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046148910680991834,0.0,0.041851645244406654,0.0,0.09482125032685326,0.0,0.0,0.08717941000653467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042920874672932735,0.046999548483721135,0.0,0.09318022224612284,0.0,0.0,0.0617383348076421,0.23099603723793094,0.0,0.037799050654116866,0.0,0.0,0.027275927789167483,0.0,0.0,0.032594052099744364,0.0239402116390106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042740972216302964,0.0,0.07091878286449713,0.0,0.10162704203206256,0.04843204374582279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369144718041287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04721262600842017,0.0,0.0,0.02988941662737585,0.0,0.0,0.058330320460022574,0.0,0.3991024022099736,0.0
mentalhealth,WTB86,2019/04/09,"ADHD, GAD, SAD, and high BP Medication hello please!!! Posting from the US

Too be simple...

ADHD: I've tried everything in the passed 24yrs only Adderall works (please do not suggest other meds for this disorder)

GAD: Recently prescribed Buspirone, have been taking for 3 weeks. (I refused to take SSRI's or SNRI's, or benzodiazepines, please do not suggest)

SAD: Literally only happens in December. I will have to decide on an antidepressant when it gets closer to October.

High BP: Stage 2 hypertension. Recently prescribed Lisinopril, I will start taking it tomorrow.

Problems: 

1) Buspirone works wonders for the anxiety (usually experienced in the morning before school) but lessens the effect of Adderall and causes fatigue. However, I think that I can remedy this by changing up the time if day that I take each, but it is a substantial decline. Is there a way to only take one dose of Buspirone a day in the morning?

2) For the past 20 years I've been used to the muscle tension in my jaw from the Adderall So much so that I have made a constant effort for such a long time to consciously not clench my jaws (specifically keeping my mouth relax in my tongue between the arches of my teeth) that it became second nature and I never experienced any sort of jaw pain or discomfort. For the past week or more I have had intense soreness in my jaw more so on my right side although, I still have not noticed any clenching. I have read the dopamine blockers such as buspirone could cause this and I know that adderal (being a methamphetamine and serotonin reuptake inhibitor) can cause this. However, as I said I have never had this problem with the adderal and I am wondering if it is a combination of the two drugs? Maybe it will go away the longer I take the buspirone?

For the final question, I have read some things about either beta blockers and/or diuretics helping with ADHD and/or anxiety? Does anyone have some insight on that?

I do know that I retain water and eat a lot of salt. I am a salt addict I drink a ton of water but I don't urinate very often throughout the day. A few years ago I was actually on a diuretic for blood pressure (which worked great) and was wondering what my doctor now did not prescribe a diuretic. But then I read the diuretics are used a moderately high blood pressure and I am stage 2 hypertension so I just figured that's why she went with the inhibitor.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you all very much!",4.345901366925759,6.78414187692308,5.050576253015279,78.61844813722865,73.08791208791209,7.603859555079068,30.43822031626909,8.482186458684032,2.641149557759314,1954,88,331,36,41,629,230,455,0.087,0.855,0.058,-0.8998,2,0,3,0,0,0,60.0,1,1,0,5,14,14,0,4,36,0,37,22,10,7,3,65,60,28,0,6,17,0,0,0,0,4,8,1,0,0,23,13,4,5,12,5,0,3,8,10,0,3,10,5,37,4,44,42,12,52,0,3,0,0,11,19,0,15,26,233,60,8,0.0,0.0,0.07270258006724095,0.0812174788312828,0.26860846946980105,0.0,0.0660409601741564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199043796571174,0.0,0.1139866724248248,0.0,0.0,0.052093082909579966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999647982516954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339516977700851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22960025611108856,0.07881255998104485,0.0,0.0,0.08050950268783033,0.0,0.05948327344903885,0.0,0.0,0.14414164088998938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538501265303121,0.07625529849381839,0.06519664188477575,0.0,0.0,0.07298296949232545,0.08639792457675181,0.0762334902059085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695701817725583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161259789795564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03892388548645912,0.0,0.0423408395731198,0.0,0.0,0.1642760240521881,0.0,0.0,0.06588130629322624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987338190312983,0.2361443306334333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622023158686798,0.0,0.0,0.08188799776859397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659313588684333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333839177987588,0.0,0.07049498786754299,0.0,0.0,0.07484662943091504,0.0,0.08275421544091968,0.07505228190596312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953414315687032,0.0,0.11492008284912378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482029175224626,0.0,0.0,0.050484049408607685,0.16998492351906336,0.07927469940311163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14223995557934968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453403616690608,0.0,0.0,0.0713517084659445,0.0,0.0,0.14257547911168456,0.0,0.0,0.0834585732441889,0.0,0.2235645623254062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712220948507987,0.0,0.0,0.06362375407186234,0.07086785366603719,0.0,0.0,0.07539935340270527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273244581606331,0.0,0.059496882053142124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33609450388532564,0.0,0.0,0.06859084239159602,0.0,0.0,0.0494953929184879,0.047737463030122,0.0,0.0,0.0868846838709682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058153280408815,0.0,0.07277700290626665,0.0,0.08961596254746185,0.12869050872664556,0.08205272218072998,0.1229428482482465,0.0,0.059135711536647526,0.11952099371562172,0.0,0.0,0.06906350679194641,0.06722588913814811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24238063957282385,0.16271363139448028,0.0,0.0,0.05292362834632382,0.0,0.0,0.09595286598205936
mentalhealth,idk9871235,2019/04/09,"broken toxic best friend (please help ) So my best friend and I have been very close for about 2 years. Now she is really shy and grew up in a broken household, is sweet to me but is very stubborn, complains all the time about everything and is very depressed. She has very low self-esteem. 

  I didn’t realize just how big of an influence she is on me intel I started to get depressed and my self-esteem started plummeting. 

She is also codependent on me for emotional support.  I  said a lot of bad things about my bff but she is also a great friend and is there for me when I need her I can’t just stop being friends with her but I don’t want to be getting her negative influence.  please give me some advice",2.440341278439874,4.4716091338028185,3.5446478873239435,89.10441495124594,77.38028169014085,6.904442036836404,23.599133261105088,7.882392219407189,1.1966201516793071,555,18,114,9,13,179,84,142,0.214,0.5529999999999999,0.233,0.1351,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,12,15,1,0,5,0,16,0,0,3,1,23,25,13,0,2,5,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,3,2,23,9,16,20,5,15,0,3,0,0,16,7,0,2,7,84,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167860282632124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21552308287198585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125127254547822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828289120168492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321242957768821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515784476332772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110687594482406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4164378502593453,0.0,0.14080525982862213,0.12926689581880552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485651288482501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032177359147217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145617735772424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991728602272898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29583560273702075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632591474873358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128180504389965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28115253326362205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19075705422863168,0.0,0.0,0.1126591404095624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291556263147976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952358652159596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857527797318234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4447397651934665,0.07948052752249248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867762047458297
mentalhealth,IAmJosephLD,2019/04/09,"Anxiety issues. Hello, r/mentalhealth. I want to give a bit of a backstory before I go on to explain my current issues. A few years ago I began to develop anxiety issues. I would constantly ruminate over and over again to no avail, eventually leading to having multiple panic attacks a day in 2017. After months of self help, I finally decided to confess my issues to a close friend, and shortly there after my anxiety had went away. A few months had passed, and eventually my anxiety had come back in a new form. Around August of 2017 (a couple months after my anxiety had calmed down), I had a physical altercation at a public pool with the males. While no one sustained serious injuries (and while my buddies who were with me agreed that I had won). I have gotten into a few more minor alterations since this event, and each time I have held my own. Despite this,  my hyper vigilance has been through the roof. I have constantly been fearing that once again I will get into another fist fight, and regardless of whether I win or lose, my life as I know it will end. I replay certain hypothetical situations over and over in my head with the most random of people, trying to determine what could go wrong in our encounters to set off a physical altercation. I understand that there is no actual threat looming around the corner, but despite that I still fear the idea of my thoughts becoming a reality. This constant rumination and “always on alert” way of thinking has slowly had it’s toll on me over time. I am having memory issues (often forgetting names, recounting what I had done on a certain day, amongst other things). I am typically the one that my friends and family have gone to for advice for as long as I can remember, therefore I find it hard to bring these topics up to those same types of people who have problems of their own. I have seriously considered options such as therapy, and I believe that by opening up to more and more people gradually (such as you all in this lovely community), I can control my emotions better and slowly learn how to put my guard down. 

General rundown of post: I have been in a hyper vigilant state of mind for close to two years now, fearing physical harm and danger from those around me, while fully understanding that there is no immediate threat. I am hoping that by opening up to you guys here, and hearing about your personal problems as well, that I can gradually become more stable over time. All responses are welcome :)",8.754840516423009,7.9659197489082985,9.025868615910387,65.81889405733817,61.11790393013101,12.594038352003038,38.47199544332639,11.80109367780132,4.737495804063034,1967,85,331,53,23,654,239,458,0.125,0.762,0.113,0.3251,1,0,0,0,1,0,53.0,1,3,1,6,18,28,5,4,21,0,37,3,1,4,4,69,59,27,0,7,3,0,1,0,2,3,1,1,0,4,25,28,0,3,12,1,0,9,4,16,1,3,20,2,49,12,76,35,16,81,1,1,0,1,24,35,0,6,33,264,74,3,0.0,0.0,0.0773505824956018,0.0,0.0,0.0774562163793454,0.07026307365316721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595429824202016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311559389008963,0.30318509675450883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21168625942696107,0.0,0.09017465382335806,0.0744714765571039,0.060949401054718425,0.0,0.0,0.17508251888986984,0.06744813327290314,0.08930379168709683,0.0,0.07010288611869231,0.08653615312513682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827922861521937,0.0,0.25696984578436954,0.0889017210551077,0.063286142606946,0.0877045080196432,0.0,0.10223791117546467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111496149128893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916173764247705,0.07020469710161195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472338537830972,0.2675833294139224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683023326748031,0.07244619012867723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247889765652073,0.0,0.04141235720362479,0.07603759789609718,0.09009552621941587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848417949887662,0.0,0.0,0.07100529851510598,0.0,0.08134810234520136,0.0,0.08933669581449312,0.0,0.053129230481695884,0.0,0.0,0.0787273955817135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947981568736109,0.0,0.4136569977511608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043561619965488414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055986762431053765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014646534528984,0.0,0.08867654512833836,0.0,0.0,0.07153918065729979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003440906807034,0.0,0.18980417061673527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655401396056911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441395775378638,0.1074231650343338,0.0,0.0,0.09299964939064248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648557831968398,0.06921058281834673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591334732264914,0.0,0.0,0.1516905775376677,0.0,0.07968257595501001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979106955955081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269001563143563,0.0,0.0,0.06556829866805207,0.08909646301918303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330062123278521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906457049733311,0.0,0.0526597194976139,0.05078940209311781,0.0,0.06292704886631978,0.1386590593033266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053815298195717634,0.0,0.07742976331620391,0.16503399080413242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046752173896062316,0.06291636045682299,0.0,0.0,0.07126817997296532,0.0734788569347225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05630712798064037,0.08666313582859532,0.0,0.10208729963875088
mentalhealth,purppuma,2019/04/09,"Idk wtf is going on This essence I've realized is been with me for years in my own brain and Ive turned myself into I feel as if it's taking on a physical human form.
I know it isn't real but I feel his essence near me.  I had some kind of trip flashback after I took mushrooms a few months back or some kind of psychotic episode.  I was smiling during the whole thing.  He was there though and I feel him near me as I speak.  Idk wtf is wrong with me, someone just tell me what's wrong?",1.3144761904761886,2.774608447619052,2.782857142857144,95.8904761904762,78.80952380952381,5.80952380952381,21.19047619047619,6.42735559955562,0.06090476190476224,377,10,90,3,9,123,71,105,0.177,0.785,0.038,-0.9287,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,9,1,1,0,0,17,17,8,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,5,4,18,2,14,12,6,13,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,4,4,63,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913586414913736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23103057795456095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139284796920239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761747591273555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4310242309330656,0.11373722984940884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518975952466813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355604589798644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753525684606705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15560464244325473,0.0,0.1808880689436001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749191662409652,0.0,0.203332548138851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299349720107776,0.0,0.22510795613186368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310582205799209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4525463014009367,0.0,0.1332724388224884
mentalhealth,soundslikeeternity,2019/04/09,"I feel like there are two people inside me (26m) Hey friends,

​

Possible Trigger Warnings (Suicide Mention) I'm not sure if this is the correct subreddit, but I'm unsure of where to go with this. I've been kind of a mess recently. I moved away from my entire support system based on the belief I would be better off. This only caused me to be more isolated and now I only talk to a good handful of people (2, if you're looking to keep score). It's not healthy to only have these people as outlets so I've been trying to not pour everything on them, as I've done quite a bit of that in the past.

​

I've been trying to journal a bit more but I feel like I get stuck in thought? I can be writing with an intended train of thought, usually it's something along the lines of self loathing, and I'll get stuck writing the same word. I feel like if needed I *could* stop, but I feel very compelled to finish? Once I get out of that loop it feels like someone is writing to me. It's not just something I'm thinking, I feel like someone is physically leaning over my shoulder too-- But I don't know if this is just how anxiety is perceived?

​

Some backstory that might help: I've dealt with a lot of abuse when I was younger. I spent a lot of time not knowing how to share my experiences with people and I spent a lot of time writing to myself, but it never felt like writing to myself. It felt like I was writing to someone that would always agree with the worst sides of me. Something that would double down on intrusive thoughts and it always took my journaling to a dark place, but I don't know how to stop it without stopping journaling.  


Has anyone experienced this? I don't know what to make of it and I know I should speak to my therapist about this, but it's easier to do it though the guise of anonymity first. How does everyone else work through thoughts?",2.82576479076479,4.74670445767196,3.7053150553150553,88.89911255411256,75.85185185185185,6.486580086580088,27.327561327561327,7.348242739294969,1.4078190476190473,1487,60,302,18,33,475,181,378,0.113,0.7559999999999999,0.132,0.7593,0,0,3,0,1,1,51.0,0,0,1,4,14,16,0,0,16,0,28,2,2,9,3,86,63,25,1,10,19,0,9,7,1,5,0,1,0,1,24,12,0,4,20,0,2,3,10,2,0,2,17,12,33,14,53,37,11,30,1,0,1,0,15,13,0,9,20,200,57,1,0.0,0.08653250258881298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12153909069660435,0.2373946078141644,0.2662303127445658,0.0,0.0,0.055870264644599384,0.0,0.0,0.05106657237021739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861717723362333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459200735339747,0.15946686786988545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502530368103269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583111368869312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639119216054647,0.07473840920393794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100993985142194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697864354893856,0.06563760913090423,0.07144056866288602,0.0,0.0,0.2215669458339672,0.2608749740833292,0.14024681731377303,0.0,0.0,0.06212207660256114,0.0,0.0,0.05642533635970062,0.0,0.11447063433975285,0.0,0.04150650004779917,0.061256856084348076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048952672792155004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491534115139617,0.0,0.07605292973256507,0.20068592271456254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24976262477817696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132956716621681,0.0,0.0,0.18627086670534085,0.0,0.0,0.04875028617697535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747677613917843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762282601011823,0.0,0.0541532568998692,0.05632777328414674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777806709313358,0.0,0.16663531728001754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971853631831766,0.20252834179506687,0.0,0.07630424055926036,0.0,0.0,0.08233405762547942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767989055627783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211156009884051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618964629608994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856426011877995,0.16867377721982918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317729440718566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988656218226828,0.08287730858989549,0.06883300867234249,0.0,0.0,0.05870138962887229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479727523267983,0.0,0.04679678134676093,0.07175483365504283,0.23192108788326435,0.08517259392118465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114266908632617,0.0991696156673988,0.0,0.07134290923520914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043584755174887,0.06026011042931724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040148245710054,0.0,0.05316910274920608,0.0,0.0,0.15564225494581074,0.0,0.2662303127445658,0.0
mentalhealth,PikachuDiaries,2019/04/09,"An Odd Sensation I’ve tried to explain it to other people, but they look at me like I’m crazy.

It’s been awhile since I felt it, I used to feel it like crazy when I was 15-18. Anyway, it always came about when I’d be in a very low mood. Very self deprecating, no motivation, etc. but it’s like I’d get a wave of tingles, but they weren’t pleasant. It felt strongest in my hands and joints, but had it over my whole body. 

The best way I described it was: imagine if someone cut your arm off halfway to the elbow. However, that doesn’t hurt at all. But then someone takes a drill and hollows our your bones. It’s THAT feeling that I’m talking about. Like a hollowing, vibrating feeling that emanates  from my joints and fingers, and it gets painful after awhile. Not a true, physical pain, but it’s horribly uncomfortable.

Idk. I’ve never met anyone who experienced anything like that.",2.9555303030303044,4.796057886363638,4.00418181818182,87.2529393939394,75.25,6.966060606060606,27.074242424242424,7.793537801064563,1.5376656060606058,692,27,142,10,15,224,109,176,0.182,0.624,0.194,0.5676,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,2,2,2,5,14,1,0,8,0,7,9,6,2,3,25,22,14,0,1,8,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,19,5,0,0,8,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,9,9,13,8,15,12,4,14,0,2,1,0,10,7,0,1,10,84,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252575863008811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136558954345434,0.0,0.1310659951299984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714449258003247,0.0,0.0,0.17691354542752988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821629445176117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776286333432832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24159574846003445,0.1137828287173904,0.30584918405157063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664244545497712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050229197429395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890574410076222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374704991741235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283917616365242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33894993890960873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041806379597546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661537965649681,0.0,0.0,0.13175014752157022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26989864101024724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975154370133853,0.1280155404918466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813416880157292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755851614566594,0.0,0.2628295737282909,0.0,0.12642145579637587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17781974987938007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gdigator,2019/04/09,"Oh crap.. Unipolar Depression, ADD, and/or Bipolar 2? Hey there! I need advice. This is my life in a few  sentences and I’ll get to the point after.

I had terrible anxiety as a kid, like hypochondriac level. I’d hyperventilate and think everything was gonna kill me. That ended around puberty and high school started. I got accepted to UF, a great school when I was 18. I did well at school and had focus. Late senior year of high school I noticed my motivation going away... hmmm senioritis? College rolls around and I got full on depression every day. No highs or lows. Always low. Bad focus, bad sleep schedule, debilitating lack of executive function, and I was dismissed from school after trying a few semesters. Now I’m 21. Socially I do really well with people and I’m a charismatic, energetic guy. 

So I started seeing school therapists while in school and I got a psych evaluation. They determined I have persistent depressive disorder and acute anxiety. Ok makes sense. I started Zoloft (antidepressant) and Buspirone, an anti anxiety 9 mo ago. 

My dad died in December so I lost coverage and missed an appointment at the old place I went to so I tried a new provider today four months later. I haven’t taken my SSRI/anti anxiety in about 4 weeks. These last few weeks have been good! I quit cannabis recently too because it destroyed any semblance of being able to get my shit together and I’ve been working out, feeling great. (Weed really makes me depressed). I told all this to a psychologist I saw today as I opted to go for behavioral care again. 

THE POINT: this PhD in psych guy I did an intake appointment with started off our appointment real rushed because they brought me in as a walk-in, not a normal appointment as I was supposed to get. We rush through questions and I try to explain nuances but he bounces from question to question. I saw a DSM book and asked if I could have a peek and he brushed me off very seriously saying we need to focus. (pretext). This guy didn’t even look at me the entire appointment until the end when he takes off his glasses, looks away from the computer screen, and says I’m probably ADD and might have bipolar 2. I described myself as a critical thinker, but he said I couldn’t be because I contradicted myself a lot in my answers. If we had more time I wouldn’t have made him think that. My recent weeks off weed have been great. So shitty first appointment. Anyways, alright so a new opinion that’s somewhat plausible and I’m afraid my current medicine may do more harm than good.


tldr: persistent depression could be a manifest of bipolar 2. Taking antidepressants now could be setting myself up for worse down the line if it ends up being bipolar disorder, not depression. Some cousins on my dad’s side have bipolar disorder and depression. I’m scared of taking my medicine my physician refilled me with the other because this new psychologist today said I may be bipolar but it hasn’t presented itself completely. I’m scared I could be harming myself with antidepressants if I am bipolar.",3.383619754496145,6.241012938053096,4.400492435055668,79.7443412789038,78.91150442477877,7.751355980588068,29.28989437624893,8.654491914285503,2.8443588352840417,2430,114,416,58,62,787,285,565,0.173,0.763,0.064,-0.9962,1,0,0,0,0,1,73.0,4,0,2,7,19,36,4,3,27,2,42,13,3,4,1,74,88,41,2,14,10,3,1,1,0,5,10,4,0,4,14,31,0,0,11,1,0,6,8,24,2,2,26,12,62,12,59,45,11,84,0,11,6,0,31,35,2,15,43,264,76,17,0.057496270418597985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618469001622688,0.050966974599642605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04784150291846463,0.0,0.0,0.03909943551577049,0.0,0.1759379579840592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023677411795183,0.053751251415404384,0.0,0.1080392774395147,0.0,0.09601396835741903,0.14019677114435752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05862127961731142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028374562157806,0.0,0.0,0.1836243736605839,0.0,0.0,0.03708033787222132,0.0,0.3466501742299967,0.0,0.05967205120408945,0.0,0.1976871214289304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527738893810335,0.0,0.0,0.03797574435124299,0.0,0.04844308762147805,0.0,0.05167394047131749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029071841893271593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04890629824607609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901182846680091,0.0,0.06535291096192199,0.09645028747009324,0.13795505951404208,0.1901695233485096,0.0,0.1707910417955104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18224389938463734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361110443700213,0.0,0.0,0.046867134316145136,0.0648582973934407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0406113161633816,0.028089773477728574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656477269177756,0.0,0.06276397111000058,0.0488812730238046,0.0,0.05440436127173666,0.07675841394054178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060994456853860485,0.0,0.0,0.045892974501708365,0.0,0.0,0.08526551196558656,0.0,0.1665907687566612,0.0,0.0,0.056334137396122724,0.0,0.06545988495428827,0.06033266389059385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039860674452664786,0.0,0.0600713651300844,0.0,0.10870511996508816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061990704107088075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932269445254166,0.061154360945996564,0.0,0.06544334327188889,0.07366716621260078,0.0,0.1135412612732375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938423936305966,0.0914466839363689,0.11512759398897705,0.4073250667009963,0.04581708345639703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05901909534108345,0.0,0.0,0.057537793537472175,0.05861020701569172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278462453585368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969011956693352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675760148064762,0.0,0.0736825769731833,0.0,0.0,0.0335265376538431,0.0,0.16349922448317394,0.05494015033350852,0.0,0.11710858037974678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744044459190161,0.0,0.0,0.1383601200246923,0.0,0.1033921042616145,0.053299618708524336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04185796964201503,0.0,0.05859361160035417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037025713060303785
mentalhealth,johny_pepperoni,2019/04/09,"im very confused lets start of by saying my dad has schizophrenia and my family life is really screwed up. So i really dont know whats wrong with me, i dont know if i have schizophrenia or if im a sociopath. Also i see things and have feeling i cant explain. Please if any one could help me at all it would really be helpful",1.4692018779342746,2.899452000000004,3.6503521126760567,89.96782863849769,78.29577464788733,6.986854460093897,23.10093896713615,7.793537801064563,0.9838150234741784,256,8,58,4,6,88,51,71,0.115,0.7440000000000001,0.141,0.1985,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,1,0,11,2,0,0,1,15,17,8,0,5,4,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,3,9,0,5,13,1,3,0,0,1,1,5,2,1,5,1,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237698168735048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957561534466405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15213289460247986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4466294069636417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17962676257110338,0.0,0.09634414801216387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25543360009733257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116377706739836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20943464290697866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19484288861633026,0.1345859911380149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911671000026645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20915873891568532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661997264197826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152725590507166,0.0,0.0,0.1518379154033033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348671509872288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265881475172634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15721773777886613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353561145233542,0.2083286034798563,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,guiltyplzrs,2019/04/09,"I think i have schizophrenia Long one im sorry just bare with me

My first hallucination was on MDMA(yeah it doesn’t count but thats how the whole thing started)It was a fairly long trip and i spent it by myself. I wasn’t really scared of what i was seeing, but i still felt tense(& excited in a way?). 
The first 2 things i saw were very realistic while the rest were as if made of smoke(thin and twirly - very expressive in movement)

The night after i could still see the air bend in a similar way but i couldn’t identify any specific shapes or objects just “movement”. 

Since then (half a year) there’s been specific habits  which’s intensity keeps increasing with time (don’t remember if I developed them after or before it happened ) 

On the night after the trip i slept with lights on, and this continued for about 2 weeks, while B4 I’ve always considered myself as being ‘comfortable in d dark.’
I started to see things( things is a strong word- just motion and a shadow that are vague, yet visible enough for me to follow with my head)with the corner of my eyes that ‘walk past me”. Not as often, but i get sudden feelings ( you know when you feel someone’s going to touch u a second before he actually has made contact with ur body) which i cant stop my reaction to. 

Recently realised I’ve got a routine for checking if there is someone in my apartment when i get home and i seem to be always worried about someone breaking in


I’ve started being paranoid about my possessions 
My mates know me for always looking for something and i cant count how many times i check my bag in a day convinced that I’ve lost a specific thing (+ getting overwhelmed n tense about it/sometimes blaming other people) only to find it 3 minutes either in my bag or in a pocket. Although i check my stuff on the clock i still cant seem to remember what i have and where it is
I have a big fear of being stolen from and i just feel like an immediate target for people ( even my closest friends) to take advantage of. I cant trust my view on people and it makes me question myself, everyone and everything. Before i either told myself that I’m just bugging out or that i should just accept that people are bad, but now this leads to a mental breakdown almost every single time . I tell myself to not think that way but i cant help it I just get angrier with myself 

Today was the first time(that i am sure of) I’ve been able to identify actual hallucinations while being off drugs. What i saw was still vague (smokey) but i could tell i was hallucinating. Once for around 15 minutes during the day and then at night (started around 12:00? Its 2:45 now) I commonly see shadows passing buy and if i focus on an object in d distance it starts to change shape/move/become something else( thought there was a spider on the ceiling right above my head- i was seeing it twirl and move with its legs. Flashed at it with a light & it turns out to be just a spot on d ceiling )

What do i do????
Haven’t talked about it with anyone
Tried to tell a friend but I’m not sure she believes that I’ve hallucinated in the first place and i feel like she’ll think I’m doing it for attention since I’m the mentally healthy one.
Im not used 2 talking about my feelings so it’s really hard to approach someone with a topic like that and when the matter comes i lose all words and i just cant explain. 

Im not sure what’s happening but it just sounds like schizophrenia 
Should i go to a psychiatrist now
Should i go when im 100% sure somethings wrong with me",2.8780841269841275,4.946547567142861,3.881047619047621,87.02750793650797,76.18571428571428,6.673015873015872,24.539682539682538,7.62386473244151,1.2145634920634922,2787,94,554,39,63,898,307,700,0.08900000000000001,0.831,0.081,-0.8016,0,0,7,0,0,0,68.0,0,2,1,9,39,24,0,3,36,0,48,6,5,7,5,112,102,49,0,10,34,0,8,4,3,4,1,1,1,0,43,32,0,2,21,0,5,16,16,7,0,8,24,21,73,17,81,65,8,104,0,3,10,0,21,36,0,13,52,370,116,1,0.0590836215888961,0.0,0.11531418351176875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916371240982341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748691875661102,0.12803415861338513,0.0,0.04017888874416421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041312641977583775,0.0,0.0,0.1051938993386312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049332356102205766,0.0,0.06525321808053985,0.15082743077338887,0.06656700887474379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562858413622187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250263743240622,0.050895308377445735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434692832137748,0.0,0.0,0.07620809611755544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685182432347315,0.0,0.04935678439279174,0.0,0.0,0.06104917514892767,0.0,0.039024174828559466,0.0,0.04978049944434882,0.056456932401168336,0.05310054935018711,0.0,0.0,0.06648550051208214,0.14937227169770226,0.08441870213714636,0.05672954227449393,0.0,0.054001359742195824,0.20102599336253174,0.0,0.0,0.09129571895264167,0.0,0.12347501477458794,0.0,0.10073575119469046,0.0,0.04725456957619048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449490288880807,0.0,0.052927319737665984,0.0,0.12127368275089695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039602506121745734,0.0,0.059265689837708024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552818004655049,0.0,0.0,0.05251623759663987,0.0,0.0,0.06494162651012855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546109231732632,0.0,0.0,0.10457429170605947,0.049615361544331237,0.06609945955287598,0.0644967524237915,0.0,0.0,0.11181270265923672,0.03943877620242873,0.059901518750038386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908478789100298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559307865802785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663379292806608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292212871136624,0.0800731821695625,0.04493575662831156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640200225773579,0.1638445755519913,0.0,0.06172980925257136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618717810158742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570096182488614,0.0,0.058337948417816074,0.0,0.13386045119306994,0.05045709000949356,0.0,0.0,0.059153012431607525,0.0,0.23540998412037906,0.10757502013778712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774916466326727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20024544335469055,0.1364563753911464,0.05843521251571038,0.06613927712142355,0.16727876584940826,0.0,0.1887370260892712,0.049396553237762736,0.0,0.0,0.06763661108666877,0.0,0.0,0.222742456486378,0.0,0.044423530387418114,0.09497835397069264,0.15492506845419776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962626641554832,0.11357519706626287,0.0,0.04690579583700898,0.1378085395455356,0.0,0.05600436479973329,0.056456932401168336,0.0,0.04011390070808064,0.06426601399968013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102927889836322,0.0,0.09750035109652094,0.0,0.14069348610315655,0.047393317369497326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596475350623336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000228571076575,0.0,0.0,0.06459866510515433,0.0,0.038047915170623364
mentalhealth,LucidLillies,2019/04/09,"I don't know what I'm supposed to do Not to be dramatic but I literally want to die and idk what to do. I'm not gonna kill/hurt myself but like, I wanna die. Like things don't/aren't getting better and idk what to do. I've tried all the meds and therapy and stuff and they don't do anything. I cant afford any help. I cant even afford my own basic needs. I cant function outside of my house on my own and I can't handle any sort of stress/responsibility without breaking down so idk how I'm ever going to get a job. I can't apply for government help bc they don't recognize autism in adults and I doubt they'd take my depression and anxiety seriously (and if they did I don't have the money to go/keep going to a doctor to update my diagnosis paper thingies). I dont know what the fuck I'm supposed to do or can do. Right now I'm only barely surviving bc my mom and my bf are helping me but I know they can't/shouldn't do that forever and they'll have to stop at some point. I just don't know what to do and I fucking hate it. What am I supposed to do. Someone please tell me what to do bc I really honestly just give up at this point. If nothing changes (which from experience it doesn't) and I cant get any help then i think i honestly plan on killing myself once my dog dies. I cant do it while he's alive bc I love him so much and I know no one else will care for him. I have no one to turn to or talk to or that can help me. I'm sorry",-0.3666221628838464,1.5434884392523394,2.470346239430352,93.68674766355144,86.72585669781931,5.6623408989764155,19.140275923453494,6.9916214562510826,0.155254134401424,1123,32,271,16,35,394,155,321,0.201,0.6859999999999999,0.113,-0.9823,3,0,0,0,0,5,26.0,0,0,6,3,8,14,4,1,5,0,37,4,0,1,2,43,65,27,4,5,13,1,0,2,1,3,1,0,0,1,16,14,0,1,6,0,1,2,19,7,0,2,1,0,44,7,31,59,5,19,0,1,0,3,21,10,2,8,8,174,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139282784524945,0.0,0.08021877206470161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629209218136337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274148866206568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691330334044948,0.0,0.11092957887905076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031706933633868,0.0,0.3264890916563507,0.0,0.0,0.1073302041102338,0.0,0.0,0.12289691477808995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759834036503812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926004177849461,0.09485324388057678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257468315562536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938855620648494,0.16435744098609836,0.10059272040857237,0.1787856467685327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103529036655752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.351432316067559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209961094968326,0.11225642075647736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104058873380771,0.0932057327533988,0.2320274599562257,0.0,0.28814573178131503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024600790768833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464161148214646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647750398585338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12281253917332773,0.0,0.0,0.0770852791496153,0.07775348478202984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061745190902556,0.0,0.0,0.11167409131612664,0.14211375299452106,0.07975190750599682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510645430342785,0.1982560520916252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717697173223458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955116097730408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884882149096167,0.0,0.0,0.11738388106227952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766892204616973,0.12011851130457495,0.0,0.12004134693938877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884280920987198,0.0842837137871859,0.09165358619209152,0.0,0.1199182813360317,0.0,0.06966533118860156,0.06719102478030536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119408549048381,0.11405921673192418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185003849866413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108275860456564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwawaybeeam,2019/04/09,"Advice for anxiety Hello!

So I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It has been theorized that I have bipolar 2 but I stopped treatment before they felt confident giving me that diagnosis. I used to be on meds, but I quit them a few months ago when I lost insurance. I couldn’t handle the costs of it. I was doing good for a small bit, of course my ups and downs, but lately I am very down. Right this moment I am so anxious i do not know what to do. My skin is crawling. My mind can’t focus. I cannot stop fidgeting. No amount of distraction, meditation, grounding, etc is working. I do not know what to do. I’ve been so on edge that I am feeling nauseous! And advice?",0.7862000858737659,3.231731905109492,2.9704594246457745,88.1195276942894,87.61313868613138,6.435208243881494,22.657363675397164,7.724431198458867,1.3417053671103472,529,20,108,11,17,179,89,137,0.124,0.7440000000000001,0.132,0.472,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,3,4,4,0,1,3,0,21,3,1,1,0,18,28,10,0,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,2,4,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,6,3,20,1,14,20,4,15,0,2,0,0,4,8,0,0,7,81,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620984257292408,0.16423567756076188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834707177063973,0.2093087386161957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765592497367906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022730148721304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957763879295306,0.1880508764026335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20663131600807005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936809314028674,0.0,0.17789367122595226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777332781113734,0.0,0.15540041799628526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036452947103292,0.0,0.20899899398627103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225024935514446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20579947063318604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707558206681452,0.0,0.14788524964987218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970634510809588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582243857659823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30979746527320984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001866751046034,0.0,0.15287180811767034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348828738506748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_W0z,2019/04/09,"What should I do Hi all, it's been a while since I've posted in this subreddit. For the past few months , my depression has been spiraling down hill. To summarize I lost a great job at Microsoft of all places, lost my apartment, and car. I Had to move to Atlanta with my aunt.  On top of that I have a lot of family issues going on with my parents. My father was recently released from prison and wants to establish a relationship, and my mother and I haven't been speaking since I moved, although she tries. Before any of this occurred I was taking Cymbalta, 60mg daily.  However I don't have any insurance.  So that means I have no means to pay for my meds. What makes it worst is my primary Dr is in Orlando Fla. I'm not sure what to do so I can get back on meds. I have gone without them before but lately I've had suicidal thoughts, well more of suicidal ideation. I've been sleeping most of my days away and  I'm completely bummed. I have diagnosed major depression. Any help if even just advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long post.",2.228439280018229,4.548782598086124,3.8177443609022568,85.41754385964914,79.47846889952153,7.808703577124629,24.78491683754841,8.704169506293173,1.9672677603098656,829,31,166,20,21,275,128,209,0.158,0.773,0.07,-0.9517,3,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,3,6,9,0,0,6,0,24,3,1,1,3,24,37,11,2,4,5,4,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,9,7,0,0,3,0,1,5,5,5,1,0,12,1,23,4,27,22,8,26,0,4,0,0,10,11,0,3,8,113,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590653938543236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419812369480703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144013397689044,0.09120551563310092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018606144504191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12436271044960474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764951028611261,0.0,0.20432115205737086,0.12038895926338612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834228696584793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181709377523164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061970016554352324,0.0,0.06741008757165834,0.0,0.0,0.261540897132142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950330565057795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380039548301475,0.11770437773935152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379980914967698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049681281677061,0.0,0.0,0.2589586126521789,0.10083991199928954,0.0,0.0,0.07917461256788293,0.0,0.0,0.2584070730712956,0.26350298983385223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467518384564584,0.2521321476335424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317048911875746,0.0,0.11322883483727587,0.0,0.0,0.12392457885548368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22719553814092466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171153090622849,0.12734519067370342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19623459412951505,0.0,0.1186979323170742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327767275214304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25948514793123234,0.0,0.1117906625969384,0.0,0.08918166702913073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416489481118083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052994674193831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996059113576246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664667724677723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433799747370785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425875484293609,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xoxobunny24,2019/04/09,Unspecified mood (affective) disorder I have been diagnosed with this..she said it’s a step higher than bipolar.. never heard of it... anyone else have this???,2.276666666666668,4.410232777777779,3.64648148148148,76.93416666666668,110.11111111111113,7.725925925925927,23.01851851851852,7.793537801064563,2.8448074074074086,123,5,19,4,6,40,24,27,0.128,0.872,0.0,-0.5007,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,1,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835729543753337,0.4155382452995477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41162901698485255,0.0,0.0,0.4648002948764344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33878852812958976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312788431692062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38577495344629104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lauren1379,2019/04/09,"I feel better! I was having the shittiest morning and had already had a few mental breakdowns when I got to school. While I was walking to class, I saw a poster that said “mental health is not a personal failure,” and all of a sudden I felt better. I guess it’s mental health week so my school put a bunch of mental health posters up and i just wanted to say stuff like that, no matter how corny, helps.",2.6142328042328025,4.435767037037039,3.4907583774250446,90.64555555555555,76.16049382716051,5.616225749559083,21.447971781305114,6.18269132825596,0.2348045855379186,314,8,64,2,7,100,55,81,0.08199999999999999,0.732,0.18600000000000005,0.7502,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,6,0,6,3,0,1,1,12,13,7,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,5,9,3,6,5,3,7,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,5,44,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16599972731380486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26608058129208445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606031581696518,0.0,0.1444333293090119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031006306959348,0.0,0.16571209235947285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796899996960878,0.0,0.0,0.10082792102336398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349094184629301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6063793817313504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134688974637876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512204939256161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309034532274287,0.1196254383562844,0.0,0.3044799286950925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722027101004587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872563096668215,0.0,0.12066331474267453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BrosettaStone7,2019/04/09,"Refused treatment by 2 orthodontists, one I had braces with for 5 years 😔 Because of anxious and/or obsessive energy.  
It’s surreal to be denied dental care because of my personality. 
Ugly cried on the treadmill today.  I’m so tired of facing everything alone.",3.9055072463768106,7.182783608695651,5.869565217391307,66.63594202898551,82.47826086956522,8.284057971014493,31.57971014492754,8.841846274778883,3.970779710144928,210,11,29,6,6,72,42,46,0.369,0.536,0.095,-0.9237,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,8,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,16,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159593067425994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446409465726701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.371934257748326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110380067208746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351037878043653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27417619588886183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20672253628849813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663743376699237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506317457632092,0.28916958264780823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964543261913894
mentalhealth,KEC112992,2019/04/09,"Anxiety health effects when you don't FEEL anxious I'll try to keep this novel short.

Basically, I was an anxious child and anxiety runs in my family. When my parents divorced at 14, it went into full blown OCD. I was late to things and going sleepless because I was performing rituals for hours. Finally at 16 I got some therapy and paxil and things got better throughout the years. Unfortunately, there have been plenty of times where I am not consistent in taking my paxil and sometimes decide to go without for months at a time. Sort of the whole, ""I've been doing good so I'll take a break"" thing.

The last four years have been some of the happiest in my life. I am in a great relationship, more confident and social, and my career is going well. Nothing in particular to be stressed about, and aside from a few small OCD episodes, I have considered my anxiety under control for years.

But also in the last 4 years, I have had many health issues. I think it was all triggered by the fact that I was getting frequent UTI's which later caused reactive arthritis. In two years I had an ulcer, shingles, hives, and random parts of my body ache. All sounds like side effects of bad anxiety, right? But I was never feeling stressed or anxious when any of this occurred. Unfortunately it sort of turned me into a hypochondriac, so AFTER my health is bad, THEN I start freaking out.

Recently, my chest has felt tight and pressured. Another symptom of anxiety that I don't FEEL LIKE I have?

I've had CAT cans, MRIs, blood tests, x-rays, ekg tests, everything you can think of to make sure I'm healthy and don't have an autoimmune disorder. All the doctors I've been to shrug at me and say it must be my anxiety.

Can I have anxiety when I don't even FEEL it on a conscious level?",4.975701754385966,6.192461146198831,5.631827485380117,80.06598684210529,69.11695906432749,8.97485380116959,30.91666666666667,9.2995712137729,2.7197052631578944,1400,57,265,28,24,454,187,342,0.122,0.778,0.1,-0.4632,1,0,0,0,1,0,45.0,0,2,0,5,12,13,0,3,16,0,36,10,3,6,7,49,57,23,0,1,5,1,6,2,0,1,7,2,0,1,13,15,0,3,11,1,0,5,7,6,1,2,17,8,31,7,39,37,10,53,1,0,0,0,8,23,0,6,26,176,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915096106174146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05880335882774535,0.090672558228955,0.4630514428660469,0.2930634172372912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439962519458485,0.05271202084725605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647672026527917,0.0,0.09604997308143966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882970815630117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698476665742413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991034489685555,0.08850690358943004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057113390318286286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771470926614364,0.0,0.08151732057330943,0.0,0.17488968094631496,0.061775019029915085,0.08302588087345589,0.09472493684386843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04517761582633269,0.0,0.14743067091780218,0.07252791233847203,0.1383177831887142,0.0953347669606234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27574442105220165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515668127013155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025343250270408,0.0,0.07685954639865149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409710846239112,0.09754324286970358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610771425551432,0.0844908888024599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057720175476366375,0.08766819121887827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902046056925906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669189481988086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297141694037947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601599785442208,0.09363984737907834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537984551863936,0.09283767249830753,0.0,0.07384590420418345,0.0,0.06876534274962602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814646525323991,0.0,0.0,0.08552219529057938,0.0,0.061204737114175775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810485943772088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149805161575281,0.0898766518004079,0.13003111232866107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888731557724033,0.0,0.17234280328124424,0.11081446460677076,0.0,0.0,0.10084406579811983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587082463215318,0.09405579894742576,0.08446976547176945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774796396228187,0.08015963818800426,0.0,0.09654196996611092,0.0,0.08335511932111273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784229826105811
mentalhealth,emptyinside123,2019/04/09,"I feel empty and lonely everyday Hey guys

So I've had issues in my childhood with abusive parents and bullying and that caused a lot of self esteem issues. I had worked through a lot of these issues, moved to another country and I'm studying and working at the same time. I became very independent and really liked how well I was doing. I had a lot of hobbies, friends and everything.

I recently got into my first relationship and we've been dating for 7 months. However, ever since I fell in love with my amazing girlfriend, I have lost all sense of self. I feel like I'm nothing without her. Initially, losing my virginity and knowing that this girl liked me made me feel even better and accomplished. I was doing great but now I am a complete mess. I have no idea what to do with myself anymore. My girlfriend has a very busy schedule with med school and that means I now only get to see her 3-4 times a week and even then most of the time she's studying. 

Now I don't know if it's the fact that I'm not getting enough attention in this relationship but my self esteem has gone down the drain. I can't get stuff done, I'm neglecting my health (I started smoking cigarettes) and I have no interests in my hobbies (cycling, music, etc) anymore.

​

I have some moments of clarity and peace but that's all they are, moments. A few nights ago I went out on a drive late at night and that just gave me a lot of peace and clarity. However, in the morning, I was a mess again. Every morning I wake up feeling extremely lonely.

​

My girlfriend used to want me all the time, loved sleeping with me and loved getting attention. Now her med school has taken over her life and she's fine on her own without my attention or time. I just feel Ive been put on the back end of things.

​

I have no idea if it's me or it's my relationship that's causing all this. Any ideas?",3.49672,5.147782765333332,4.546333333333333,84.73150000000003,73.34666666666666,7.56,28.766666666666666,8.238735603445708,1.9995066666666663,1487,61,294,24,30,485,185,375,0.083,0.7659999999999999,0.152,0.9758,3,4,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,1,7,14,20,0,0,17,0,25,8,2,6,6,72,55,28,0,3,12,1,5,3,4,0,2,0,0,5,17,25,0,1,14,0,0,6,8,7,1,1,16,6,50,13,36,39,15,50,0,5,1,4,26,15,0,10,32,204,67,5,0.0,0.08578091356861263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417729831552788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23533268685556544,0.26391793561554483,0.04923376670433062,0.07591660863125513,0.0,0.0,0.14360060272262148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567032141163802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403098528576817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487473237912248,0.0,0.0,0.07590891860315646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408925927686555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06412397799848217,0.07480746582894691,0.08074396383132933,0.09563764351832,0.0654889925840588,0.060999235485926874,0.0,0.06506750535649465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830354150331924,0.05172182228541992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06158250743155967,0.0,0.0,0.055935246948204224,0.0,0.15130184684634426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790405177807805,0.07982009478574928,0.0,0.07168634019075247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695669525654851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24518879659034254,0.0,0.2266970728552969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957713587745349,0.0,0.08166916582263169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05113751743902485,0.10611140564590807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099590288895953,0.07903200315566558,0.24620398330753354,0.19602862924649536,0.06850563429414308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886367788758346,0.16083781814237405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057788148861472835,0.07694862311524357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588301485772966,0.0,0.06946874236787566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0550626617029622,0.0,0.0,0.08039046293419662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278093857460895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04638061940328325,0.0,0.07148522600265303,0.2331881239578832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654319935272325,0.05769258732789779,0.0,0.2265836743958793,0.0,0.0,0.05988915720414866,0.0,0.07245123276941569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05124434740379871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287947315109005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04809864345093376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108204140025166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625294449622414,0.0,0.11947342720307713,0.04270277480085413,0.0,0.058074068339011485,0.0,0.06509534822098627,0.06711454931022813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958000291408382,0.0,0.10541459153499552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26391793561554483,0.0
mentalhealth,dontaskkk,2019/04/09,"Isolation I've always been a very private person, I keep most of my thoughts to myself. This has resulted in mostly isolation throughout my life, because it's hard to make friends if your not open and talkative with others.  I have social anxiety and find it very hard to be vulnerable with people so that is why I'm so private. I want to change this because it has left me feeling very empty and lonely but I don't really know how. Just wondering if anyone has felt the same or has any tips",2.993115693012601,5.215856536082477,4.4277663230240565,82.5141122565865,76.42268041237114,7.61008018327606,26.241695303550976,8.515128840125781,2.0676630011454757,392,15,73,8,9,130,71,97,0.131,0.82,0.049,-0.5774,0,4,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,9,1,0,3,0,26,18,10,0,3,6,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,7,6,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,9,1,8,14,3,3,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,6,0,50,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426406545611166,0.0,0.0,0.1342481285716611,0.0,0.15102098849069565,0.0,0.0,0.1380362933170276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406831954175921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20883758531804392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981833028583607,0.0,0.18954817126902013,0.0,0.1804326030985064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252138373011428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35368791159649104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17547042333264182,0.0,0.0,0.10849344143011948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21449063132452872,0.0,0.13943917915559184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317752198684597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368618466810369,0.17237408340864366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646831176412027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20123847066489295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567244766369373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4886610884063707,0.1164397523402876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17813521552714373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408680506595135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jesse12398,2019/04/09,Body Dysmorphia I’m a 17 year old junior in HS. I lost 50 pounds over the last year and I weigh 124 pounds yet I still think I am fat. I look skinny when other people take photos of me but when I look in the mirror or take selfies I either feel like I look good or like I look awful. I have no real idea what I look like and at this point I’m scared to even wear a one layer shirt because I don’t want to look fat. When I take off my shirt it’s the same thing. Sometimes I think I look normal and sometimes I think I’m fat and have man boobs. It’s so frustrating. I just want to get out of this hell and be a normal confident person again.,-0.2448356807511729,1.6118501971831023,1.813267605633804,98.92351643192491,85.76056338028171,4.631737089201878,14.3962441314554,5.6839178017228535,-1.0534409389671362,496,7,122,3,15,165,82,142,0.16899999999999998,0.691,0.14,-0.8106,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,9,8,2,1,6,1,5,10,9,0,0,22,26,12,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,7,6,5,0,5,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,8,19,4,11,24,2,17,1,1,7,1,2,7,2,2,13,69,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271662566999472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250165381469514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878834766273843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031540461979841,0.08521909921783946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06232285778277601,0.0,0.0,0.10005279568820404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466120269590198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723533101296113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483371633702358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7012008992780726,0.0,0.13021652797035793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337530799340824,0.0,0.0,0.12517229034578922,0.0,0.08083237817267333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269901566116357,0.1041573482243922,0.0,0.0,0.11276535760975435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577542639394627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942771703013665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23595701175797254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526324703648928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690683330484139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924939391866846,0.22930406989084995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14071785725372174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536346319416133
mentalhealth,Yowhuddupitsally,2019/04/09,"I'm losing my mind I have never posted on here yet, but I need help. My doctor is fucking clueless and keeps prescribing me bupoprion, and I think it's going to send me off the edge. It's been 3 weeks since he upped my dose to 300mg, before I was on it for 4 weeks at 150mg. I have been having nightmares, waking up balling my eyes out, not able to move because I'm breaking down and some days I can't stop it. I have anxiety, social anxiety and depression, derived from my genes (dad's side) Has anyone taken these and felt this way? What can I do? Any prescriptions you recommend? I've been losing friends, my boyfriend doesn't know what to do for me, I can't talk to my parents anymore cause I don't want them to deal with another child that has issues (my brother has anxiety) and I just need something to help me get through a day at work and be able to get out of bed.",3.7738524590163927,4.204064158469947,4.7367349726775965,88.26444672131149,71.34972677595628,7.8486338797814215,27.818306010928964,7.793537801064563,1.452614207650273,683,23,151,8,12,223,115,183,0.11,0.7979999999999999,0.093,-0.2687,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,3,3,5,1,0,2,0,20,5,2,1,1,25,34,8,0,3,3,3,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,9,10,0,2,3,1,0,3,6,4,0,0,6,2,25,1,24,27,1,24,0,3,1,1,14,11,1,1,7,94,34,2,0.2917661734209683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920550150733093,0.15297113619659275,0.3348004861018586,0.0,0.1446768220620379,0.10200484617868603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889289756208544,0.0,0.12413576199357985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986211539735594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881650446432284,0.15039905669366765,0.12564888881915898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931752084385236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007064076504416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270891091387696,0.13486656293510108,0.1524357834077387,0.0,0.08290872005462065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955647158770944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522640409099247,0.0,0.12966759039122305,0.0,0.0,0.08017352928376886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264117171612434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730033098428486,0.0,0.0,0.15505063409610848,0.0,0.2163409206358884,0.11251402987814883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198590369263732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971567125885442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067599684113438,0.0,0.0,0.14870943541102946,0.0,0.11230792735249974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196479270217707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172552991447768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347599146321227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604562424228893,0.11579520393202852,0.23403722525401985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620462458440956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cupsnake,2019/04/09,"Living in a different country and I feel like Im going to break down mentally Hi, Ive never posted anything like this before and honestly I dont know what I can even get from it if anyone cares enough to even respond but I feel like I should vent here.

Im a student from Portugal and I decided to move to Sweden about 3 years ago to finish my studies. I wanted to experience a different culture and learn as much as I could from it, so I could improve as a person. Its definitely a fantastic country in many ways. However to put it shortly, I feel miserable here.

Over the years here I managed to make a lot of friends, although most have been only temporary as they were international students on an exchange - but in the end I managed to form a group and I dont have problems arranging things with people, which is great. Regarding studies, Im almost done with just my ongoing thesis left, which is also great. Sweden has plenty of opportunities and its a very developed country to live in, great once again. 

The problem is that at the end of the day I just cannot shake the crippling loneliness I feel. It has gotten worse and worse as time goes on, I used to think it was the scandinavian darkness and cold that was responsible for it (and in fact it does contribute) but I dont think its the main cause. Basically I feel like I dont have friends I really connect to strongly, I miss my family and some of my very good friends from back home, dating has gone horribly wrong - Ive had my worst experiences here, and basically my self-esteem is at my all time lowest.

For some reason all the experiences I had with girls here, whether international or swedish, were unpleasant in one way or another. Ideally Id be going for swedes as they are plenty but 90% of the time I cannot relate to them and just cannot connect to, they are really physically attractive but somehow its like there is a mutual disinterest in our personalities. Its also uncommon that I even get to know one on my day to day life and when I do there is always this politeness distance barrier they put up that feels super tiresome to break through. A lot of people use tinder here but I havent had the chance to get good photos to even build a profile for that and honestly it seems like such a forced way of meeting someone (although I am up for trying) 

I cant complain about international girls per se, the only problem is that as most are exchange students then there is always the stress of the person leaving at some point, also for the same reason most girls are just up for random hookups and are on constant party-mode so its hard to even build anything more calm and real. Understandable since Ive been in the same position before and wanted the same. 

People here are generally very fit and well dressed and tend to be quite good looking. Ive heard quite a few compliments about my appearance before so I would say I look ok and I started going to the gym to work on myself a bit more lately - but its crazy how superficial this country feels. Honestly I feel all the time that Im comparatively less attractive to some people I know and I feel like my looks are judged much more, I did not care about my looks in the past so much but now it feels like they matter a lot, lot more than back home. I was quite happy about my appearance before coming here as I wouldnt think about it too much and focused on building self confidence, but after some bad experiences here insecurities have grown that I did not have before. Buying good clothes suddenly became an issue, height became an issue, fitness became an issue, etc. 

The worst of it all is that I started texting a Swedish girl last summer that was quite into me at the start, she was pretty awkward and relied on texting too much but I decided to keep trying to get closer to her. In fact she was the one who started texting and she would text me multiple times with long messages daily. All of our common friends told me she was interested. I tried making a move several times but she just avoided them. Ended up now with me having a strong crush for her and being used for attention basically, so now I have to cut her off after months of pouring my heart into trying to get her, more than Ive ever done before with anyone including my ex. 

As for friends, the ones I have are not exactly the best influences. Basically all of them are into drinking and some into smoking, which slowly began being part of my life. I often find myself going to parties and not even enjoying them anymore and its a constant struggle to avoid overdoing alcohol and avoiding smoking.

You might be thinking that so far Ive only mentioned dating and other minor things which is nothing compared to big problems some people have and youre right. Youre absolutely right. But I just cannot stop feeling miserable though, I can barely find gratitude at this point. My life now is basically me going to work on my thesis, sleep deprived because I cant sleep properly out of stress of thinking about the girl I mentioned or just out of feeling alone in this country, then binge drinking coffee to stay awake (which helps but makes me anxious and irritable) so I find myself on edge for the rest of the day, then I have minor fights with my thesis partner orhave major mood swings and talk about messed up topics because I dont feel comfortable. Finally when Im alone I have random moments where I start feeling like crying, sometimes think about killing myself even though Id never do it, and just walk like a zombie to the next place I need to go to all while overcaffeinated. I genuinely feel like Im at my limit sometimes and I dont know what to do, Im trying to come up with a plan to improve the situation but sometimes I just break down. Fun things are just not fun anymore, all I think about is stress and problems that seem unsolvable. 

My idea is to go to the gym regularly, cut down on coffee, avoid smoking and cut down on drinking, try to sleep better somehow, avoid the girl I mentioned and if necessary just tell her how I feel now so she can stay away, maybe start a tinder somehow. Id love to go to a psychologist but sadly I cant afford one. Anyway I mostly wanted to vent but if anyone would like to give me their thoughts Id greatly appreciate it, any suggestions or comments would be great, thank you for reading in any case",6.264566908371787,6.617364326829272,6.760074708855196,76.20112722478578,65.89430894308943,9.510437266534828,32.06877609316633,9.358847034038227,2.811606679850582,5062,190,933,88,74,1654,440,1230,0.126,0.7,0.175,0.9975,5,8,4,0,1,1,93.0,2,4,10,15,76,86,5,14,59,1,97,12,4,12,14,217,178,94,1,21,40,1,17,12,6,7,4,2,2,11,50,54,4,9,41,6,3,20,22,33,1,5,24,24,126,52,160,139,49,150,0,5,4,1,66,62,0,34,71,679,176,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030536592103856917,0.03681506089342298,0.03449528180104588,0.07135668984414655,0.0,0.08264556296287462,0.05732796469605945,0.0,0.0,0.046852438200030516,0.036122345011832285,0.0,0.038917095662913424,0.06832747944061891,0.07226175482824422,0.0,0.056696500509302174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032365579596213924,0.05297767097891334,0.028763129566098375,0.04199907536539401,0.0,0.1758792515187712,0.0,0.03615166466058396,0.03046697400794885,0.03760893272707109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024525659376822,0.03538818610609818,0.0,0.05934881140216002,0.0,0.07445336462641923,0.0,0.055008784049335936,0.0,0.03784015305400538,0.08886594988788371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07198287865853055,0.0,0.0,0.030146188888327482,0.07050572551967768,0.2422409104415883,0.10123949579343823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153366431487367,0.03559459700392309,0.03841927835982634,0.15927075855345582,0.0311607173614545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478930522513,0.032475060103122816,0.0,0.2786918343342685,0.17227053210669852,0.0,0.03773674104637285,0.09445614783483763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330744566316955,0.0,0.08998981927751945,0.03304622173194019,0.1566233978391086,0.11557535482181172,0.0,0.18989843294586603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03667115931338986,0.030859165778476468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040821739101889014,0.023090160388083415,0.0,0.06910947906459211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03888825938160586,0.26047268253368083,0.1078661181853709,0.0,0.03061948517493613,0.038112255332538376,0.0,0.07572816565558188,0.028080194575623,0.03885950436752104,0.036476077543981515,0.03742848841000297,0.0,0.07299616307756976,0.2019580628555067,0.0,0.06083746338466724,0.03048591370127025,0.11571254124670567,0.0,0.0,0.11714782033428,0.031091192935275506,0.0,0.06898409397811595,0.03492545828226493,0.03460823384840469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034716071297749264,0.0365445048322664,0.0,0.0,0.02749653189736716,0.07322678824749096,0.12661836844158006,0.025543189289461046,0.0531377448972707,0.0,0.03663646097021933,0.0,0.0,0.033054346401840955,0.0,0.0,0.03668661875686947,0.11671626370030322,0.07859910364141309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037304460577161004,0.032885072331951544,0.1194115568274471,0.09023752706406668,0.035991439329265275,0.0,0.06513009520478792,0.0,0.03299222197242523,0.03504659544638078,0.0,0.16481321736404855,0.0,0.06926068539881068,0.0,0.14656124207875035,0.03445790728766427,0.03921003149793344,0.0441372913293738,0.07083776559074567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588378067516001,0.0,0.02739489746596421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272139599187854,0.07187477424807708,0.038917095662913424,0.0,0.02849622550322231,0.038721652891860435,0.10342039010230224,0.0,0.02918817429021117,0.0,0.10221159427271218,0.0,0.14629731466145493,0.07343521618397741,0.0,0.028800559574995013,0.11838221322255672,0.0360131406435318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027688467742894192,0.030109581682744094,0.03171562876506681,0.0,0.0,0.06865832752520094,0.1545128361165116,0.06769111973721291,0.027348328554705363,0.12052348168971205,0.0,0.0,0.0329170992399987,0.0,0.1403299677490822,0.0,0.0,0.035862191891389734,0.0,0.08925755081982985,0.0,0.08527107114606032,0.060956003915221074,0.08203104999702644,0.0,0.0,0.030973415033923837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015796033782245,0.0,0.07021210230298353,0.09788514565542228,0.03766411988040996,0.0,0.044367518612135684
mentalhealth,tillZ43,2019/04/09,"Am I crazy? If this is the wrong sub for this type of post, please let me know. Also I’m on mobile so please bear with me.

I believe that my mother is codependent in an abusive friendship. My mom has been friends with her college roommate (I’ll call her S) for about 30 years. My mom is married to my dad and she has a job of her own, however she spends the bulk of her spare time (often hours per day) helping S run her work and personal life (for nothing in return as far as I know). S has 3 kids and takes on much more work than she can possibly handle, knowing that my mom will always be able to help out. Her main job is a high level position in the local school district.

S is also emotionally abusive to her children and my mom. From as early as I can remember, even when I was a toddler, S has never hesitated to call my mom a b*tch or an a**hole in front of me. That is just a small sampling, but S calls my mom a variety of names in her fits of rage.

My issue is that I’ve never really felt comfortable expressing these concerns to anyone. S is a highly respected member of the community, and I have always been forced to hide the role my mom has in her work. On the few occasions that I have said something felt wrong to my mom, she has been extremely defensive and angry.

There are many other strange behaviors going on here but I honestly don’t know what’s the most relevant to share.

Could someone help me figure out what this could mean, or how I can distance myself or come to peace with it? I have begun to doubt my own assessment of things since it has been this way for my entire life and everyone around me acts like it’s normal. The best I’ve gotten was a subtle admission from my dad that he doesn’t like the situation but doesn’t see anything to be done about it.

Thank you!",4.592566046676937,4.871029967302455,5.648302333846702,82.98735931761642,69.49046321525886,8.99841251036607,28.21810212060183,8.964715089967882,2.0201783911858784,1406,45,295,24,23,467,193,367,0.097,0.775,0.128,0.872,3,0,1,1,0,0,37.0,0,1,0,4,13,14,2,1,19,0,39,2,0,1,2,42,54,23,0,4,8,11,2,2,1,1,2,1,0,3,19,14,0,1,9,0,1,5,5,5,0,0,11,5,44,9,48,37,8,37,0,0,1,0,41,20,0,7,12,203,63,8,0.07375138646890048,0.17476666609937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795791422707536,0.12273412328502654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051568684224203264,0.0,0.0606911070385216,0.06565437015925954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309255705006763,0.07739753000015433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22592523445226104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353028904890798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177689617809626,0.0,0.0,0.04756354297246758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547327429214643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296038311227874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04871209519681715,0.0,0.0,0.07047261031726729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416257935439871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056980138237648276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041914612531644274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483019992127959,0.15584477807298153,0.0,0.0,0.07263025958638505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697728626177534,0.14637374208952822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212733295169593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541578947376089,0.1041855707012064,0.07206240420455944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477233014163158,0.0,0.08033688082444655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6910138597613772,0.0,0.0,0.05421575499793036,0.0,0.1137632317471442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226069983749213,0.07076644440280261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439686594105533,0.0,0.16191375043431375,0.0,0.08314360689424177,0.07063344147099879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724702668415905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354594389570108,0.0,0.07015445742948803,0.0,0.0,0.07464034050513381,0.05877030639151847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100790901287325,0.08289964845300489,0.0,0.0,0.06248931042280423,0.056777420470498885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0554518641513192,0.0,0.0,0.06790036784929518,0.0,0.0,0.04899714406222978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04300502654295503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058540417734542174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610756631723991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612711268342657,0.0,0.047493474851784435
mentalhealth,NaZdrowie23,2019/04/09,"Antidepressant Questions I started taking antidepressants 2 weeks ago (an SSRI) and as much as I love not feeling suicidal every day, I hate being up till 3 am every night and taking 3 hour naps during the day. Is this normal?",9.255714285714284,7.989639333333333,9.738095238095235,62.648571428571465,60.42857142857143,11.257142857142858,35.285714285714285,10.125756701596842,3.6912,180,6,28,3,2,61,34,42,0.113,0.713,0.174,0.5747,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,9,5,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,4,8,1,9,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,8,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21794988050069347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171330168862975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4143139843446703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431980741148466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427467920977198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24213349027844985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219082522968049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074353665384674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307333560904241,0.24090145844522415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.275431883748527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402881838501533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689430588452688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697289114996442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19722295245972055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stankysmoke,2019/04/09,Feel like a walking zombie Lately I have just been feeling like a zombie who just speaks. Feel like I have lost myself. But the psychiatrist isn't picking anything up. I just babble on to them and cant think of any situations that I could mention. Ye i've been told to make notes but I feel like they just think I am an angry person. Im kind of getting support but don't think I would be diagnosed with dissociation .. I did take a lot of LSD previously which may be the cause but still its worrying me,1.198235294117648,3.661287549019608,3.1112745098039234,87.89573529411769,85.27450980392156,5.752941176470588,21.245098039215684,7.1686216300943375,0.7086509803921572,398,13,82,6,12,133,69,102,0.092,0.7759999999999999,0.132,0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,2,1,5,7,0,0,6,0,14,1,0,3,0,24,27,5,0,2,8,0,4,4,0,2,1,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,7,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,5,5,13,6,8,17,1,5,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,2,6,56,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216828116572566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573571098026596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694439888975196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169519010915806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167415740189838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336046664074967,0.4713470687185404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617697382303631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17816894435181746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717648733021592,0.0,0.0,0.1860651859033456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223352529537729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005699227305827,0.1402303717162672,0.0,0.0,0.11010209281979427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402364382416022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540513218255555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317253193808101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717767296572527,0.0,0.0,0.12401813993906978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170703579956932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576120511358943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750969139655278,0.0,0.11717222157093915,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ButtterMilk,2019/04/09,"How the lack of sleep affects your brain Two years ago i was on holidays during summer, with my friends. Every night we were out or at our apartment making fun and joking around, and sleeping was the last thing to think about. One time, i didn't sleep for about 4 days, it was horrible but i did not sleep for real, not even for a single minute. So the afternoon of the fourth day, i went out to buy something to eat, and while i was waiting for my food, i kept watching the city i was in (which i knew very well) and while watching i was thinking ""where am i?"" And then i thought ""who am i??"" .... it was horrible, but fortunately lasted not more than like 5 minutes.. 

When i said this to my friends they barely believed me... but it's true

(Sorry for my english)",2.9376754385964894,4.3769981184210565,3.6342105263157904,91.56780701754387,74.39473684210526,6.382456140350878,25.166666666666664,6.816661863887847,0.7899719298245613,582,19,126,5,12,184,99,152,0.075,0.8220000000000001,0.103,0.4966,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,2,1,1,0,9,7,0,0,6,0,12,7,5,3,1,29,21,15,0,1,7,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,7,10,2,2,4,2,1,1,4,0,1,2,15,3,22,7,21,6,3,23,0,0,2,0,8,8,0,1,15,94,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467592316534524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524905248936858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711719963603288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960304965246714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19596331834298591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554613325203396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034769512159077,0.0,0.1280067651189956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371319288484356,0.0,0.2347599920206769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476848833866368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422485255079384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141381099578413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14257510793366698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295104646115924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17292850398520665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451930423257314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6081550276370878,0.0,0.0,0.11696239416809695,0.0,0.1700721167148381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093490034291434,0.1946999827440151,0.0,0.12061468360999313,0.08859104242574936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484125916062013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253573656466076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660244892717452,0.14083973809153189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783731772233856
mentalhealth,bigniganton,2019/04/09,"Please help me, I don't know what is happening to me. I really don't know how to start this, I really need some help (what this might be, tips, etc).

It started about 1.5 years ago, the symptoms. Every time I felt uncomfortable in an environment (i.e talking to a girl I don't think likes me, embarrassing myself etc) I clenched my jaw up against my upper teeth and closed my eyes, as hard as I could, for a second or two. This would happen pretty often, and I still do this from time to time when anxiety kicks in. However, over these aprox 1.5 years I have been noticing more and more stuff going on and I'm not sure what's going on. Maybe **2-3 times a day**, anxiety/stress randomly hits me. It's a dull feeling, my throat hurts and my body feels empty. **I start clenching/flexing my muscles** (calves and thighs mostly), walking extremely focused and **repeating the same word over and over again in my head**. Usually it's something random, fitting the situation, but those random words gets easily switched with ""I hate myself"". **I might hit myself in the head** too, impulsively. This may sound silly or unserious, but trust me, this is worse than it sounds. It makes me embarrass myself in front of my class mates, makes my parents look at me strangely and overall just fucking sucks. I googled symptoms for ocd and some of them fit, but I don't want to self diagnose. Please, please feel free to ask for additional information. Any tip or information will help me so much. I don't want to live like this. Thank you so much.

​

Age: 17",1.6598430141287288,4.393741530612246,2.6819727891156475,89.26101255886974,87.77551020408163,6.0085818942961815,21.48403976975405,7.419758726546812,1.0061110413396133,1206,41,237,22,39,382,176,294,0.114,0.747,0.139,0.8958,2,0,1,0,0,0,74.0,0,1,1,0,10,14,3,2,9,0,17,12,8,3,1,52,46,22,0,5,8,1,5,2,1,5,3,2,0,2,18,13,0,0,9,0,1,4,6,7,0,2,2,9,38,8,31,35,10,37,0,2,2,1,13,16,2,13,19,151,56,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069982674767513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086284655218584,0.12432906788028655,0.06958058733266753,0.0,0.07827393342867665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565467107168828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365360199696818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169358201311654,0.0,0.0,0.06598744083152454,0.0,0.0,0.1038518680154444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22822598403617075,0.0,0.0,0.08620836706327308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552070361445798,0.0,0.0982425097843454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459248245289148,0.053457576338354414,0.0,0.11630075648524227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18096112021837268,0.0,0.09165793550787496,0.10101905968582096,0.2100181049688344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574727588976896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953485548428668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246394950556694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997601811072723,0.0,0.09034975759558322,0.0,0.08592238623022241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365977655240751,0.0,0.10279342250823284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170890743533553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15043281898210362,0.07586841502344885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164911253005456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136133999354232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369473768841977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040954447133971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310966417952132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674127534692167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150111052579363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877034467412099,0.0,0.0,0.2172662399313399,0.0,0.08171227189938088,0.0,0.11720633606586005,0.0,0.11713104248770882,0.0,0.0,0.09643466650439908,0.21269772150550506,0.0,0.08224032395782302,0.0,0.09420180301723363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655620332410002,0.0,0.0,0.23865267111022906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995102338618828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269017994804455,0.0,0.12070106962247555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427204012831394,0.0726846476673177,0.0,0.12432906788028655,0.13178046317868886
mentalhealth,myassholehurtsmom,2019/04/09,"Medicine troubles Hi I’m f 18. I’ve been taking zoloft for about 6-7 years. I’m one of those people that have a hard time staying on a schedule of taking them so I take them on and off. Sometimes I’ll go months without them. Well I feel like this medicine has made me worse. I’m a completely different person when I’m not taking them. I’m toxic, I’m mean, and just really bad.  My mental health plummets while not taking them. It’s never been this bad before though. I started these for depression but now I have a huge amount of other mental illnesses. There’s other factors to why I have more mental issues now but I feel like these have made it worse. Anyone have anything similar to this? Or any problems with Zoloft at all? Or recommendations?",1.0401677852349032,3.628766758389265,2.4416744966442963,90.82627013422821,89.46979865771813,4.859194630872484,19.53053691275168,6.508806274219699,0.3007742281879193,593,18,116,7,20,191,91,149,0.17800000000000002,0.769,0.054000000000000006,-0.9468,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,5,0,9,8,0,0,4,0,8,4,0,2,2,19,26,10,0,1,8,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,11,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,5,1,1,4,3,13,3,14,22,3,17,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,2,12,71,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869838059369102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120123915798577,0.0,0.10733460143598686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21781090686697954,0.0,0.0,0.1109882102836882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675569844478394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234107778622106,0.0,0.0,0.13627390617804952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190089640905142,0.1863616044501383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412763500214856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684164735833655,0.0,0.0,0.13864334788948054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613734768896693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744518614409156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468362357861048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207892234407982,0.0,0.0,0.39433499168674696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410975159186693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059736700715632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838424617275399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042527664875437,0.11388838129320475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480601686695215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835582184217014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129000798225026,0.0,0.09232059485908996,0.13902338926861152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4903439752537853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814899142773986,0.0,0.07605607491724138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727422778879153,0.0,0.11769478883671465,0.0,0.0,0.12573200316047434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658431454843324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399407166507543
mentalhealth,aaronpaulcalvin,2019/04/09,How one Iowa man's mental health crisis ended with his arrest This is reported story about how a mental health crisis can become a criminal event that sadly may sound familiar to many:  [https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/2019/04/09/iowa-mental-health-transgender-man-crisis-ended-with-arrest-clive-police-department-polk-county-mcu/3174204002/](https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/2019/04/09/iowa-mental-health-transgender-man-crisis-ended-with-arrest-clive-police-department-polk-county-mcu/3174204002/),61.606285714285704,65.16777191428572,31.774285714285718,-70.40428571428572,-41.57142857142856,18.571428571428573,46.42857142857143,14.554592549557764,6.615285714285713,487,4,22,4,1,100,30,35,0.384,0.616,0.0,-0.9501,0,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,2,0,4,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,14,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958992576389735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402415981559066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.691387136136264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486097731128324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6554903756794994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018871761819923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mangokimono8,2019/04/09,"Escitalopram Oxalate and alcohol (new user) So my doctor just prescribed me Escitalopram Oxalate, and when researching it said to not drink alcohol on it. I'm 19, and I party sometimes... I was just wondering if anyone has experienced drinking while on it? Or knows how bad it is to drink on it.... Also, any opinions on the drug itself would be appreciated. I've never taken any meds for my depression and anxiety before so I'm sort of terrified.

Thanks so much!!!",3.5175163398692817,6.315197117647062,6.0015686274509825,68.85594771241833,77.82352941176471,8.954248366013074,29.44444444444445,9.444778638647367,3.5324640522875823,365,17,59,11,9,129,60,85,0.147,0.763,0.09,-0.7552,0,0,6,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,1,1,16,12,13,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,6,4,5,0,2,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,2,5,1,8,7,1,8,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,5,4,43,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3946005091999031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476387672003422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510928343227584,0.0,0.14123209182060126,0.0,0.0,0.12908904018680145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414812983499476,0.0,0.0,0.1570961279676611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901101825878267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18896411465628185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5425654015198045,0.2140980056239579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146110044125216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20506872786205474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357153063137659,0.0,0.14238860866547925,0.1783049965953496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561378015823031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18259169919120244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997124215712306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002101006809158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13114716973630208,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sydneyshort,2019/04/09,"How do I tell my mom that I’ve been referred to a psychiatrist, and that I really need to go? I’ve been living with my aunt for college recently (because her house is closer to my college than my parents house), and my depression has gotten progressively worse since I’ve started school here. I’ve been seeing my school counselor and she has referred me to a psychiatrist, which honestly at this point I really need to go to. The problem isn’t me not willing to go, but really, it’s my mom. 

She is extremely against anything like this (note: I am on an anti-depressant for my anxiety, but my Rx needs to be changed which is one of the few reasons I need to see a psychiatrist), and she has no idea that I’m seeing my school counselor. Before I even started visiting my counselor, I told my mom that every student is given 12 free visits per semester and talked about how cool that was. She kind of looked at me and said “Well you definitely won’t be using that,” which makes me even more nervous about telling her everything.
The only reason I even need to tell her is because we are on the same insurance plan, and she’d see on the billing plan I’m sure that I’m visiting a psychiatrist. 

I’m just so worried. She (ironically) minored in psychology so one would think she’d be more understanding about this, but really all she ever says to me is that I’m “asking for attention” when I bring up my feelings about this stuff. 

How should I bring it up to her, without completely making our relationship worse?",5.419189044038666,6.146488255102043,6.338614393125672,77.17819011815254,67.80952380952381,9.862943071965633,32.140350877192986,9.93914555978268,3.1038666666666668,1193,49,229,27,19,396,144,294,0.075,0.848,0.077,0.3435,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,2,1,0,3,17,10,0,1,10,1,26,1,0,8,3,42,59,16,0,8,6,5,1,1,0,4,1,2,0,0,18,9,0,0,9,0,2,8,5,3,1,2,8,9,43,8,33,42,5,23,0,1,5,0,32,10,0,0,6,160,61,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026822991580813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558819983464063,0.0,0.08587129999683768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198696473581024,0.0,0.07816117920944514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971695895176491,0.0,0.09630740622570924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822781700844368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820065458896964,0.08308740432831234,0.0773911453292206,0.0,0.08255265370360405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04644425554643577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660861677918586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211974883738788,0.0,0.10369223831992523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565203934890013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04487533409236996,0.0,0.08110896260693143,0.0,0.07713441405166663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226268155103961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227356708557597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34054371594046684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448559872697815,0.06985927643389556,0.0,0.0,0.1019932454966439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683193155424031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789208714890467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353766717307061,0.18888288106720807,0.09069496478754822,0.09861706105281924,0.0,0.0,0.0873744013946743,0.07304616565415878,0.0,0.2788841355413069,0.29278369636892804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598276325774808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002978498454842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515111050736124,0.0,0.0,0.0865715190352605,0.0,0.0,0.07382894584548481,0.2408539211480205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058856477804635925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777064732316202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562348655892236,0.0,0.0793325575948371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258797859177827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854419407493297,0.0,0.0,0.09328242314480124,0.18721460308885896,0.06525060527704897,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BIG_KSHAQ,2019/04/09,"I'm 15 and I today just found out that I was born with schizophrenia That's not the only thing I had to get trough. I had to get trough anhedonia, ptsd and schizoid personality discorder (and I feel like schizoid personality discorder is coming back). I dont know what to do. And i have really strong suicide thoughts. I have too problems with consciousness. I have never talked to psychologist or psychiatrist, cause I was afraid to tell anyone and I had no trust to my family( It was the time when schizoid personality discorder went hard). And for example If i had anhedonia I was healing it by myself. I have strong suicidal thoughts cause schizophrenia symptoms went strong recently (I have strong schizophrenia symptomps for a 2 weeks, and of course I have psychosis( sometimes bigger sometimes smaller)). I think it cant get better, like the only solution to all this shit is suicide. There is some much of mental illness and mental discorders that i have right now. I talked about all those shit with my family in this week. And yes they are searching for a psychiatrist. I have thoughts like Psychologist or Psychiatrist wont believe me. Like they will think I inveted it, or they would be like: ""You are just 15, you cannot had those problems"".  I think like they will not understood me and they just will give me antidepressants or they will just say that i need to rest.  I have no hope about mental recovery. And for making you sure im not dramatizes like a 13 years old teenager about not having new iphone. I really had to get trought this and with others i have to get trought today. Im not exaggerate those things. And if can anyone relate, if anyone have or had schizophrenia pls write in the comments about this with details. Did healing worked, did it worked fast?

And sry about my english, Im from poland and I was not focused.",4.48611273080661,6.827891104956268,4.522061224489796,83.0056768707483,72.3527696793003,7.488785228377067,28.051409135082608,8.344100000000001,2.018781613216716,1471,57,271,25,30,455,149,343,0.109,0.765,0.127,0.3735,0,0,0,0,0,2,42.0,0,3,6,7,14,20,2,1,7,1,43,6,2,3,4,65,66,24,3,8,18,0,2,7,0,6,4,1,0,3,20,22,0,0,11,0,0,3,13,5,0,0,21,3,43,15,31,38,5,23,0,0,0,0,19,5,2,10,22,190,63,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834483904849456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724628052434195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853005482837314,0.0,0.07734544169304239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967750157121842,0.0,0.0753333762430675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249475497271833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488659930774904,0.0,0.04421907599275437,0.062476739534476675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588815927346248,0.0,0.0,0.22845400787360295,0.08389328771135182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783410852286269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686097708303728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833940966599668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04806211161392916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990772592991044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058375835827341675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643974292626845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06428832499749597,0.06484560157916919,0.06744946755426583,0.0844630563872996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176765129700737,0.0,0.0,0.13302453089556854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290828549706695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16736222101411052,0.10222836609280272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204979831978852,0.0,0.08634970014948484,0.0,0.0,0.07468474142304166,0.0,0.06954646838533407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953935436853016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17298733382821654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869795361918522,0.0,0.08242381181459467,0.0908975869687022,0.0,0.14058348996647774,0.07643814229260135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620033038521756,0.16810985776961931,0.0,0.2082847365555492,0.0509947915144772,0.0,0.16579122984868142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029971416326564,0.0,0.0,0.16214038991471974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733426023007138,0.0,0.0,0.06212439922595494,0.0,0.0,0.056317134136534226
mentalhealth,RadonBased,2019/04/09,"Burning out from university I'm on my first year of my masters. I love what I am studying, and probably a bit of an overachiever. And sure there's been busy periods during my years of studying, but I've always been able to manage my time and effort very elegantly. But this entire semester has just been killing me. The courses demand unprecented effort of me, and it feels like I've been studying from i wake up till I go to sleep for 2 months now, and there's still 3 months to go, and it is only getting more demanding as the exam deadlines draws closer.  I try to tell myself to remember to take breaks to keep myself sane, but my mind always revolve around my studies no matter what I do; ""you are wasting time which you cannot afford to waste"". Something which is also new to me. I've always been able to unwind and focus on one thing at a time. Be it breaks or studies.

On top of that I have a part-time job, a crush on a sweet girl, and trying to find time to be with two separate groups of friends. The job being the only thing I handle well, though it is also the most time consuming. 

At this point it's not a question of ""how do I avoid burning out?"", but ""how do I get back on track?"".",5.236334894613584,4.912472680327871,6.053864168618269,82.70155737704921,68.09836065573772,8.77470725995316,28.903981264636997,8.192908349453996,1.7998358313817326,930,28,194,11,14,307,136,244,0.087,0.807,0.106,0.5588,3,1,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,0,5,13,8,1,1,12,0,19,3,2,2,1,31,28,20,1,0,7,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,14,12,0,2,4,1,0,2,3,2,1,3,5,2,23,6,36,20,3,34,0,0,0,1,8,14,0,3,17,136,37,4,0.25329840653680685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025626441932908,0.3161468483263557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274464209924198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738541972463308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826812811303518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403764255527902,0.0904782161206548,0.0,0.0,0.11575507734354708,0.10772774760132847,0.0,0.0,0.0978488602782362,0.0,0.1323379629092916,0.0,0.14395532169893666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513595839024759,0.11257163104434,0.14011857877591302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618744034185827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430585066476465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787959167161694,0.0,0.20218037148991996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231858971776215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582077784181318,0.19264485223458586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371487452649195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972443372884725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654926185734834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418760926924179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346885851643054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267406678083527,0.0,0.0,0.09750074419626063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114221732959223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193653752487156,0.0,0.09522443917001824,0.0,0.11069698594618374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828020610908254,0.0,0.12443219917807888,0.0,0.36925084455859697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17197299109440653,0.0,0.12371786874423706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449885647399676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11387284369615013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16311586909523024
mentalhealth,Leovely_m8,2019/04/09,"Does someone know if this is self-harm-y behaviour? Pls help (it's not a physical thing) Okay so, my name's Leo and I'm non-binary, which is relevant to the post but not the point of it. My name's not actually relevant, it's just so you pals know it :^) (also english is not my first lenguage so plox be patient)

I have this tendency to look up transphobic, anti-non-binary, homophobic, exclusionary and generally hateful discourse and rethoric, mainly about things that involve me personally (e.g. anti-non-binary stuff or biphobic or anti-asexual stuff). It's not hard to spot that I tend to look it up at times I'm really really nervous or having a hard time. I used to tell myslef it was solely out of sheer curiosity but some friends have started to make me notice I do it with the intend of getting invalidity feelings. Not that I do it conciously tho, but I think they might be onto something. I can stay months clear from bad stuff they I'll feel particularly bad on a morning and get look this thing up??? And exam season I usually look it up daily and bc I don't have any more time.

Anyway I just wanted to know what do you think, is it self-harm-y behaviour? Do I do this to mentally punish myself?

Try and have a good day, will you? Remember you are loved and cared about, be nice to people <3

Tldr: I look up stuff that judges my gender when I feel bad, is this self-harm? Have a nice day ^^",2.56563829787234,4.4909486560283725,4.542533333333335,82.58580000000002,76.6241134751773,8.199943262411347,24.04595744680851,8.954980946260402,1.8533564255319148,1099,36,224,26,25,376,149,282,0.096,0.7709999999999999,0.133,0.8342,0,0,1,0,0,0,53.0,0,4,2,1,11,13,2,1,8,1,25,1,0,3,1,44,50,21,0,2,15,0,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,29,10,0,0,9,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,1,10,26,7,25,44,3,23,0,0,5,1,15,10,0,6,11,147,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.09786702764325728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020061037403854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819956219868073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25120991597025066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225072440788922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935546386825225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776306903666448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212651000785046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530527577041846,0.0,0.0,0.07748258174621996,0.0,0.10479311665041546,0.0,0.0,0.08411716553739147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967744491105134,0.09901404843504162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722121153402782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653476726793854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4210850575283919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051421133592673,0.0,0.06694329670947043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106713565925553,0.10639016136951084,0.0,0.0,0.08004925717531934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417902679586785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952736045305298,0.08756797690921367,0.0,0.0,0.09480496959328014,0.0,0.0960485806469568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284946551745074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360722574005006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138680712359175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497404978039727,0.0772069226051513,0.0,0.0,0.07098465732033386,0.1068941081002156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4592249720080403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765649633778187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988150279484426,0.12852153554019585,0.0,0.0,0.1754369463293741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808925164138101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661699188204218,0.11045352204060722,0.0,0.05915270638496443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ExactFactor9,2019/04/09,"Is this considered mania? I have always had kind of a vivid imagination. Sometimes I get into moods where I think about a lot of crazy stuff and laugh about it. It's like a south park episode in my mind. I feel like my emotions are intense including my sense of humor.

I have a few good friends and other people think I'm annoying.

I take online tests for mania and the symptoms like impulsive behavior and lack of sleep don't apply to me. This is all in my head, and I don't think it's actually real. I don't have thoughts of hurting people, and I'm not a narcissist. I don't know where the line is drawn with what is considered mania, and neither does my doctor. I'm on antidepressants and worried they'll give me bipolar disorder.",3.374795918367348,5.1033169047619085,4.680017006802721,83.32778061224491,73.82993197278911,7.8931972789115665,27.215986394557824,8.59863814320734,2.0040843537414967,583,22,115,11,12,193,87,147,0.104,0.754,0.142,0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,4,11,1,0,7,0,14,5,2,0,1,23,26,8,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,1,3,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,7,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,2,17,8,14,23,5,7,0,1,1,0,3,7,0,1,3,75,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.177330834172468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120417128316002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082648993417404,0.18599636600892,0.15902289684875145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20440861338447225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918822255362428,0.12981957998436033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403950971616156,0.0,0.09494030440410146,0.17432073849155955,0.0,0.15241667691536262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18649538738822166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945331837851436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923163153449832,0.09986761776258547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26633512710523843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544903886365504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183483667021492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519611583973389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068351929137701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184952099272897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972403159579756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20802396200244835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18887487807133413,0.1366295361174344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493132210402781,0.0,0.1442640211288731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18454374047159466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,armaness34131,2019/04/09,"Having trouble lately.... I have felt like my world has been falling apart. 
I study so hard and work so hard so that I can be a nurse and I feel like I am just a failure. 
All I feel like is to lay in bed and never get up again. I have good friends but I feel like I need to be by myself.  

I just feel defeated. 

I am going everything I can to be the best person I can be but, I feel like I cannot do anything right. 

I just want to become a nurse and be successful but, I feel like nothing goes my way. 

I am on 20mg of Lexapro but I do not know if it is working like it should. 

I just don't know anymore... 


If anyone actually read this. Thank you. 

I needed to get stuff off my chest.",-1.2340323767476065,0.6481531059602652,1.4353090507726272,99.7136552612215,90.78807947019868,4.415158204562178,16.998160412067698,5.82211442006289,-0.6800598969830758,513,13,131,4,18,176,81,151,0.079,0.674,0.247,0.9802,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,5,8,14,0,0,4,0,23,1,1,0,2,30,39,13,0,6,11,0,9,7,1,1,0,0,1,1,5,4,0,0,9,1,0,2,4,2,0,0,2,9,26,12,11,31,2,13,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,2,10,91,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.12527479252378168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273128042371596,0.08976229106843367,0.0,0.10564110558982187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177932163417567,0.0,0.0,0.1347209012672655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153745376355132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3894594009346818,0.4585531056671192,0.1232594538152546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099181660935356,0.0,0.13414054010258605,0.0,0.07295806954718165,0.10767426695329224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299963039082445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110230917748248,0.0,0.14481179498490926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4390203685655996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037582443989004,0.0990101693944335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317859716461745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209148170941564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840903369629286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963094547077937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695785310797235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818980209081173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571848454015187,0.10189753907836603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691602961804096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PsGam3r,2019/04/09,"Hey I need some help, I have been having alot of friends and family problems lately and I feel so depressed it's unbelievable, what can I do to stay positive?
P.S my current mental health us extremely bad right now",8.579024390243902,7.422606048780493,8.522073170731709,70.47628048780491,61.6829268292683,12.102439024390245,37.57317073170732,11.20814326018867,4.182356097560975,172,7,31,4,2,56,37,41,0.21,0.5660000000000001,0.224,-0.0697,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,7,7,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,6,1,2,6,2,5,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428069731686107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25046676910840265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27414162387954505,0.0,0.14703789574168247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246723948904596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091082272713398,0.0,0.0,0.19491800921469707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32803657935161423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29305935478062056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21562550981089929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782576100029939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483427565210796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099555374292463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34979820810619233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ayoitsjo,2019/04/09,"Anyone else feel like they're faking everything? Does anyone else ever feel like they're faking it? Especially on medication. Like sometimes I just genuinely believe I'm a liar, that I made all this stuff up for attention. I know for sure I'm depressed, I can't possibly doubt that given the state of my room and my level of motivation, but I'm bipolar (type II) and since I'm on meds I rarely get hypomania, and honestly not getting mania makes me feel so invalid.

When my psychiatrist asks me ""have you had any racing thoughts, impulsive behavior, high energy?"" and I say no, I always feel like that makes me less mentally ill. Like one of these days she's going to say ""ope you aren't bipolar at all you exaggerated everything this whole time.""

I have to remind myself that there was a time when I was -$90 in my bank account because I would spend and spend. And hypomania was always hard to spot because I just felt.. better. But the depression has always ruled over the mania.

Maybe it's because my dad used to fake illnesses for meds. My mom was anti medicine because of this, when I told her I thought I was depressed in high school she said ""well what do you want, just medicine?""

Ugh I just hate feeling like I'm crazy, like I'm a liar.",3.4443841007477403,5.491265429752069,4.507591499409681,83.27056473829202,74.45454545454545,7.750019677292402,26.39984258166077,8.563005593585519,1.9195495474222743,982,36,191,19,21,320,135,242,0.204,0.66,0.13699999999999998,-0.9725,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,4,0,2,11,22,3,1,6,0,13,5,0,5,4,35,41,12,0,2,7,2,7,7,0,1,5,3,1,0,12,6,0,0,11,0,4,1,4,11,1,1,13,10,32,11,18,27,4,20,0,3,0,0,14,11,0,1,14,107,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24707450667702424,0.0,0.0,0.06730887863809573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384163520695763,0.20283065494189187,0.0,0.0,0.09253168007261778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413458744334633,0.0,0.0,0.11151504836733317,0.0,0.08753857578194127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638330433362459,0.0,0.2557505081887639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661688685752207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536792900443778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953185890576673,0.0,0.0,0.17791126352876466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502329064304349,0.28284147991823383,0.09503502947684776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103424522729078,0.0,0.056251849861208916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866543232556877,0.09772092891396406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20915276387670986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054396079557646686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33849179414751523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365599533388244,0.13213803985207814,0.0,0.09943736127609216,0.0,0.21988594223908772,0.09971058051941901,0.09974720290096498,0.0,0.0,0.11592260295250602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707049733425033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158356022981918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941513655515432,0.15742359626769306,0.0,0.1001716817616872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187616515714008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789241938610264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330687805012785,0.0,0.0,0.09328620974721784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715599002847475,0.11543049787447054,0.0,0.0,0.0945783452465781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548577742480112,0.0,0.0,0.058380174400261775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899369653399987,0.0,0.0,0.11050613212362302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070311595751583,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wlwlwlwlwlwlwllw,2019/04/09,"Hello hello! I'm new to this sub, and reddit in general, so please forgive me if this format is annoying. Or if advice is off limits here...

So, I am currently climbing out of the pit of a depressive episode. It conveniently led to my decision to leave my job which was supporting me however, and so I'm now on the hunt for a new job. I've been through three in the past year, the most recent lasting eight months. I'm hoping the medication I was just prescribed will help a bit with maintaining a life in general, but as for right now, my main concern is keeping up with my income. 

​

To get right to it, what the heck am I supposed to say if I'm asked about why I left my last job? It was shitty all around, but I liked what I did and the amazing references I would have had have been thrown out the window due to the ghosting. Every bit of my wants to give up, but the drum that keeps me here is reasoning with me. I gotta keep at it, and logistics are getting in the way.

​

This feels absolutely ridiculous posting, but I'm so lost. If you've read this far, I so so appreciate you! And of course, any advice would be a god send.",4.921758241758241,4.8930629829059855,5.905494505494508,82.49307692307694,68.74358974358975,9.42075702075702,30.38949938949939,9.23628265651192,2.3472781440781434,894,32,191,16,14,297,132,234,0.07200000000000001,0.8170000000000001,0.111,0.8574,6,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,0,3,13,9,2,0,16,0,20,2,0,2,1,39,38,21,1,8,10,0,1,1,0,4,2,1,1,0,12,11,0,4,5,2,0,3,0,4,0,2,8,2,20,5,32,25,5,33,0,2,0,0,9,16,1,7,13,130,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22454784273149306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24897705212503995,0.27921964640982244,0.07813244047933425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228077898319747,0.10741117861432772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25087084563187184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895876919922597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680386967974676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580942902726686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005563797432857,0.1102176130733797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770115986057278,0.0,0.0,0.11411651425860705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34204624141439105,0.3063714754042828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18730928127676905,0.0,0.12165706064035145,0.12483359480421252,0.0,0.08115363306570003,0.05613182199117385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542130525185766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574447762652222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917079761222653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219323314618595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968013855181316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12612004716777422,0.0,0.0,0.11003751004530728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492594595403972,0.0,0.0,0.1181310453914512,0.11344480708425582,0.0,0.0,0.19623915469786465,0.0,0.09136899926354393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038131849811702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776796157943919,0.09119818701126188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367473478051867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16323601525455433,0.0,0.27921964640982244,0.07398851885527245
mentalhealth,throwingitaway34583,2019/04/09,"The normal? Hey whoever reads this,

For quite a long time now I've always had thoughts about just ending it all because it would be easier. But lately even when something even becomes a little bit hard, my brain just thinks ""why don't you just kill yourself?"". Sometimes it just comes out of no where, for instance I was watching Netflix with my SO, and suddenly in my head pops in, ""you could just kill yourself"" 

Recently, I've noticed a lot of memes about this kind of thing though, so it must be normal for everyone to experience this, right? Memes such as ""when you wake up not dead so you have to go to work"" etc. 

While I don't feel the urge to kill myself, I keep hearing it more and more everyday. 

For full disclosure and context, I have seen a doctor, psychologist and psychiatrist about this sort of thing before. I was taking Wellbutrin 300mg  because I did have these thoughts before, and I'm not sure it helped. I was using it for 2 years but they have come back after about 5 months of not taking it. I was also sleeping for 18+ hours a day, but it has been attributed to narcolepsy so I continue to take dexedrine 15mg  and modfinil 100mg. 

I just feel like nothing in my life is actually stressful, and things seem to be going pretty good, yet if I don't take the dexedrine/modafinil combo, I'll sleep a lot, and I still have these intrusive thoughts. 
 
Anyone's ideas or thoughts as to if everyone experiences these things would be appreciated.",5.610780141843972,6.2887619929078005,5.625673758865252,82.63333333333334,67.36879432624113,8.819858156028369,30.56028368794326,8.841846274778883,2.2674453900709217,1150,42,228,18,18,361,160,282,0.032,0.867,0.101,0.9639,0,0,1,0,0,1,38.0,0,4,1,2,26,8,3,1,9,0,25,7,5,2,3,50,46,25,4,8,15,0,3,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,20,12,0,1,9,2,0,4,7,4,0,0,12,6,22,4,32,26,8,33,0,0,2,0,8,9,0,7,21,156,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.09308931099582476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628534084408985,0.0793741945112294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670064791670609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335093759784607,0.0,0.11630075461491872,0.10535351205531122,0.16234396824836134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414389408258456,0.0,0.0,0.10648956850391526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164344369287163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616314216119953,0.0,0.0,0.061520265277365524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763825699177688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448943331785813,0.0,0.10638784368786552,0.12601168169743696,0.0,0.0,0.1823032268229604,0.0,0.18662432178947286,0.0,0.0,0.09646661966991163,0.06814841485918939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842750227574012,0.08001069585295613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545293522773298,0.0,0.09790021682853152,0.0,0.10751427063251418,0.0,0.06393957614424765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394238859592084,0.0,0.0,0.10768651148610887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478922930526238,0.31661297421582585,0.0993366003175164,0.0,0.0,0.10760688521319853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737853771030186,0.046603952798002016,0.09560833680910183,0.0,0.08441935299138599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219856970465318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614137647401474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869287754994997,0.09153166817107053,0.10860498362477287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970484578919163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014616566124642,0.09541830588271252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418857694240576,0.0,0.0,0.08146466637139567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684174140613464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909227652723934,0.0,0.0,0.0734378002734476,0.09434561309497386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618056679150036,0.0,0.10927177650925088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990629414515272,0.0,0.28689312692187874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534981300519624,0.061123656657751366,0.0937226383875752,0.302923930652979,0.05562412881467233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238848454886917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607688606324584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944686979990601,0.0,0.0,0.1355281777786115,0.0,0.0,0.06142963684427321
mentalhealth,PuzzleheadedChain3,2019/04/09,"Does IQ go down as you age? My son's IQ was tested at 150 when he was 7. Average IQ is 100. He didn't want to skip any grades and he had behavior problems because he was bored at school. He went from extroverted to extremely introverted. He only got a B average in college majoring in English and now he acts like he can't do anything with his life. I suggest careers to him and he doesn't want to do anything but work in a warehouse and be depressed all the time.
I think my ex wife broke him emotionally. She's mentally ill as fk and has a demon for a personality.",2.887843691148774,4.116553415254239,5.123333333333335,81.68315442561206,74.16949152542372,8.63427495291902,30.060263653484,9.150863307647796,2.5226862523540485,445,20,95,10,9,156,81,118,0.149,0.836,0.015,-0.929,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,0,5,0,12,2,0,0,1,12,18,9,0,3,1,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,7,0,9,1,15,10,2,13,1,2,0,0,19,6,0,0,5,50,9,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708445619191747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134806709741601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314706998122604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163834569633622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21985248290261425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825991858392536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277941990913126,0.0,0.20093104837539874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774507081079353,0.1227379623492455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531800785733684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910712290863343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21936376379689454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403925430632743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542574981719619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097761282233827,0.0,0.0,0.1464938447980217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296363140256883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23289210927467394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18289794704150605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kmanhman,2019/04/09,"I go streaking through apartments daily in order to flash women. Where/how should I seek help for my bizarre mental disorder without incriminating myself? I want to stop, but I feel like this activity is my addiction. I tell myself never again, but I'm back at it again before I know it.",5.293888888888887,6.942469314814815,6.282407407407407,74.06583333333336,68.81481481481481,8.362962962962964,30.16666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.615533333333333,229,9,39,4,4,76,42,54,0.121,0.78,0.099,0.2237,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,9,7,2,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,10,1,7,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,28,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34055865861583645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24021388086569315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2658266950988564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3580338345077049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15795722484115005,0.22317635935238345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775423189341354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20939301158937385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168512910097494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526213124454782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148225303510125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409396956560282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26117773993374804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27304860080139753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425974556170746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011393983458078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,selena_saurus,2019/04/09,"Scared to go to therapy I have anxiety and depression but I know that I can pull myself out of it. Quite easily actually. Meditation, yoga, and light exercise do improve my mood alot and I am good at telling myself that my anxiety will pass when it pops up and keeping calm at all times. I refuse to take antidepressants or any medication other than the occasional ibuprofen when I have physical pain that I cannot releive with natural remedies. My full time job in a law office makes me depressed but I know that if I just got a part time job I would be happier but I cant because of money. And I feel like antidepressants just numb you so you can deal with the depressing shit in your life. They keep you from actually changing the things in your life that make you depressed so that you can be happier. Anxiety is a physical response to mental anguish caused by your environment. My moods swing alot and I have a hard time controlling it but I know that if I just had more time to work on myself and get more sleep and relax, etc. I would feel 100 times better but I cant and I'm stuck. My doctor said I should go to therapy and take antidepressants. I refused the medication but have not ruled out therapy but how can it help me if I have already taught myself tools to deal with depression and anxiety? What would therapy even involve that I dont already know?",3.6352778685845024,5.71291892857143,4.8903595946387695,80.60006374632235,74.0,8.986989212160836,28.106570774762996,9.54385415503706,2.7198321673749595,1089,44,211,29,23,360,134,266,0.188,0.68,0.133,-0.9297,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,8,1,4,9,17,1,2,10,0,24,11,2,5,1,54,44,27,0,7,15,0,3,1,0,5,9,1,0,0,15,16,0,5,6,3,1,4,5,10,0,0,5,5,41,5,24,32,8,22,0,5,0,0,17,10,1,6,9,152,56,5,0.0,0.0,0.17400420648741508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19676880429182145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06062823705256438,0.0,0.2728123330296999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0543478631009638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885006601116598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158641123182308,0.09431382591965796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999455032183584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838291127641128,0.3839439598093431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125358888643216,0.0,0.0,0.10448861650400418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943103092493877,0.058885822784988426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015856615878866,0.0636921184832933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04657963858513833,0.0,0.10133731409693626,0.07477871247228364,0.07130513898292658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986507810219512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597585001494988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694451865052907,0.15848954521323494,0.0,0.0,0.19598831374882394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594516881846188,0.04355647140925237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902287730698773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17962791342533568,0.08984694419477607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948668613370318,0.0,0.0,0.09654582625280264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948269723929006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480651327105661,0.0,0.08925938402409618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151599392077804,0.0,0.0,0.0892190626298004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406644211539445,0.0,0.07792511664051542,0.0,0.40782456851630455,0.0,0.05923040531435676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119208518919514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490566609258429,0.0,0.0,0.1899987719759012,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,genericusername5250,2019/04/09,"22 veterans commit suicide a day. Today, one of them did it in front of me. If you are hurting, please reach out and ask for help 22 veterans commit suicide a day. Today, one of those veterans was at the VA, less than 20 feet in front of me. I was looking at my phone while waiting for Radiology and I heard the shot and looked up and saw him. He was bleeding but still alive. He looked shocked. Like he was surprised he was still alive. Police got to him quickly and cleared the area. He wound up dying. 

Talk to your friends. Have each others back. The national suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255. It takes the courage of a warrior to ask for help, if you need help please reach out and ask.

I can't get his face out of my mind. Please don't do this to other people. Please don't make them live with that memory.",1.1084242424242419,3.3861974484848503,2.2165151515151535,95.49810606060608,83.6060606060606,5.121212121212121,21.28787878787879,6.42735559955562,0.1786969696969689,629,20,139,6,18,199,97,165,0.085,0.6709999999999999,0.244,0.977,0,0,0,0,0,5,25.0,0,3,2,0,4,6,0,0,8,0,13,4,2,1,3,21,27,10,4,3,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,7,11,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,2,9,5,15,4,24,18,2,22,0,1,4,0,23,11,0,2,10,85,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426413721998259,0.0,0.0,0.09394228487017812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758092466823242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679465108966692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438934013399564,0.0,0.06382952728404732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771164939127837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456667933634324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078703760223034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059686787288657624,0.0,0.10787960683164537,0.0,0.30777968279816303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155037507006484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12335831240308755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058856383771713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557303922070782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469828349185457,0.0,0.0,0.5364301503929133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951325161332064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4009071301882296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185770741048684,0.09819676389160348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316084521252325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AdmirableFactor,2019/04/09,"Is it bad to intentionally become schizophrenic? I know it's a serious problem for some people, but I can't help but laugh at all the crazy stuff they believe. I have such a boring life devoid of any excitement, and I think it would be more interesting if I thought I was God. 

If I just make up a delusion like that and came out as schizophrenic, I'd be able to just be a wild whimsical person without being judged because I have a mental illness.

What would you think about a person doing that?",7.258061224489797,6.2690433775510215,7.707061224489795,74.71651020408162,64.20408163265307,10.697142857142858,33.885714285714286,9.888512548439397,3.1012016326530616,393,14,76,7,5,130,70,98,0.208,0.644,0.14800000000000002,-0.6535,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,4,8,0,0,7,0,12,4,0,2,1,22,18,7,0,5,7,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,3,0,10,4,10,9,3,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,3,1,58,17,0,0.22219422082457027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109968952520098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18552289332971209,0.13544753468246226,0.24539605998739536,0.0,0.25033679845254553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25413099540747797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14893210256554915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211213288430267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15694234923216935,0.10855287283127353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831636776680165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22391951395269066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540414958582574,0.38802284638677975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260986134412946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543592233425521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847461697899484,0.0,0.17639739199939772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141872998556252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156807988202789,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Paladin632,2019/04/09,"I have no place else to go /: So normally I would never post about my personal issues and thoughts, but I truly have no where to go, nobody to talk to. My family turns their nose up at any display of emotion and my girlfriend isn’t an option.

Just about a month ago me and my girlfriend talked about exploring more relationship -wise and we agreed that we could send and receive nudes from people. I thought whatever it’s just photos and when she told me she found someone I didn’t really care and said yeah that’s fine. But then she started getting distant and we fought and I found it she was falling in love with him, they had been sexting and talked about having sex without my knowledge. She promised she would stop because she didn’t really want to and she has attachment issues so when she meets someone she gets strong emotional connections fast. Well a couple days ago we fought again and I confronted her because I thought nothing had changed and I was right. They were still doing all the same stuff as before. Again she promised she would stop and I want to believe her so bad because I love her. Without going into detail she is really the only reason I get out of bed in the mornings and I know that’s not healthy but I don’t know how to fix it. I want her to fix it so bad and I want to believe her but I already had issues with trust and I’ve been lied to for a month so now even when she says she loves me I can’t believe her. I know deep down she does but my head tells me it’s a lie. I’m stuck. 

Sorry if this is the wrong sub. I’m new to Reddit and don’t really get how it all works yet.",1.265424242424242,3.5821924818181863,2.395303030303033,94.2162878787879,83.27272727272728,5.363636363636363,21.28787878787879,6.691623216298621,0.35542424242424264,1269,40,272,14,36,403,166,330,0.129,0.69,0.181,0.9692,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,4,0,3,2,24,17,3,0,9,1,25,7,3,3,3,66,57,36,0,10,11,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,1,1,11,26,0,2,11,0,0,7,12,6,1,0,20,3,59,11,31,33,4,39,0,0,0,5,49,11,0,2,20,188,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592037875150558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705229935670412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059807344289882124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686504770315348,0.16083601558860966,0.0,0.07483688044950076,0.2972602883670611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966838028574298,0.0,0.0930368378216666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021895578967471,0.09731228223902792,0.0,0.056718888757731824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696348651801202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346888601168504,0.1978582942724814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058088521921582516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290911530067674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19285988034321813,0.0,0.0,0.18379584280798844,0.0,0.14994784431104555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025955077762453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27538315252594003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450010068782822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23812827059172706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039777763049194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783056604846929,0.08494028392922386,0.0,0.0,0.08616991795609155,0.08438803833823276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688806862499716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060971751872373636,0.07679240122569439,0.091886462525759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422943412117938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22536578927130144,0.0904247206372481,0.0,0.09442274647001636,0.0,0.07510672018030015,0.08365825205884009,0.06993941521412105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490353335734496,0.0,0.0,0.09845007270041622,0.062249722766382125,0.0,0.07023502050693856,0.14705616598983026,0.0,0.0,0.10067889412319292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206670817282966,0.07687002799880033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20946157311697972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403764512172332,0.0,0.0,0.0956616707318844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20749495523959902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907540217474049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955658380554242,0.0,0.0640268578978766,0.0,0.0,0.18742623112008988,0.09615683074788643,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anotherthrowaway1728,2019/04/09,"Could you ever forgive someone that made you want to kill yourself? Everyone likes her

She made me want to kill myself(a few months ago)

It all feels very unfair

I don’t know, I know I’m not as popular or whatever but I’m not an asshole but I can’t help but feel like this is all unfair why someone who’s just not a good person is going and having everything good happen and idk it’s stressing me",0.7087951807228947,3.0912437951807274,2.574710843373495,91.38640361445783,86.95180722891567,5.247710843373494,21.55301204819277,6.742157984588678,0.6033624096385544,317,11,65,4,10,105,58,83,0.263,0.606,0.131,-0.9283,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,2,0,0,2,9,2,1,2,0,6,0,0,2,3,23,18,7,2,3,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,2,2,9,6,3,15,3,4,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,5,39,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468229303356938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832979173679445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680481689051063,0.0,0.1775202473288389,0.1669666107070911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787136663697213,0.1327208922376349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558275548205164,0.3116460144847068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428417393999548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452406431895817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41107492149070296,0.0,0.20419907900941014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18152493230933592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515780575808059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482874024687638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622154694936453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148206882567183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280975800633195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328752117025085,0.21915509246045267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16763707773623654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phybroeolhc,2019/04/09,"what are some alternative ideas/ways of covering up self harm scars what are some lesser known ways to hide self harm scars on arms? besides the typical and obvious ways such as long sleeves, tattoos, etc",5.74072072072072,8.021184513513518,4.847027027027028,82.27882882882884,68.72972972972973,9.257657657657658,31.25225225225225,9.725611199111238,3.0814576576576584,165,7,30,4,3,49,29,37,0.209,0.7909999999999999,0.0,-0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,5,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,15,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212724366403586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549314874236763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6010363765656058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6859659118498572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GroundbreakingBass7,2019/04/09,"How can I get rid of health anxiety about going crazy? I feel like I have a stronger sense of empathy than most people. When someone describes a medical condition to me, I can imagine exactly what it's like to the point where I feel it briefly. I had my first panic attack at age 8 when I read in a book about someone swallowing a toothpick and having it lodge in their intestines.

Right now, I'm very afraid of getting epilepsy and schizophrenia. I've watched a lot of personal accounts of these conditions, and I feel like I'm just an inch away from bull blown insanity. I could just start hearing voices any moment now. Whenever I hear an unexpected sound, I panic thinking it might be schizophrenia.",6.820319548872181,7.3094055714285755,6.6862312030075195,76.73656484962409,64.71428571428571,9.958270676691727,36.92575187969925,9.827888789773867,3.6548503759398496,563,27,101,11,8,178,91,133,0.135,0.787,0.078,-0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,10,7,1,3,8,0,8,4,1,1,1,16,20,6,0,1,2,0,3,3,0,1,2,4,0,1,6,3,1,0,5,2,1,1,0,4,0,1,1,8,14,3,15,16,2,17,0,0,1,0,4,8,0,3,11,65,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429232077085395,0.0,0.12857191711612148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19120214419278372,0.15790585708056826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418899492358205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549414001942685,0.24013629259767144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295895204423215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756176743172479,0.0,0.09551718284981812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864892102502153,0.37885075396663104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24632929030923756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288580033005813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693112986512222,0.0,0.17829408368756755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39438426694712586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165175131198252,0.1467509025498728,0.0,0.0,0.15887902570195436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811394856336442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435295523788347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848077331173117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895972587961405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769148724980322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867408670446366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hammo_v2,2019/04/09,"Raw emotions from a stone cold heart RIP MY DARLING 2016
https://m.facebook.com/heidielizabethhamming/posts/?ref=page_internal&mt_nav=0

RIP MY BROTHER 2017
https://www.theherald.com.au/story/5588116/man-who-left-scene-after-fatal-to-face-trial/

People must wonder what someone who's been through some tough times thinks about.

Well I don't talk about my emotions or what's inside. On the outside I try to smile and look normal. But here's a glimpse of what is inside.

My apologies to anyone who gets upset by what I've written. I just want to let some of it out.


I miss you. I'm sorry. 

If you could feel what I do everyday you wouldn't blame me for trying to faff the day away.

So you don't think about the 2 people that aren't here anymore.

Yet somehow they seem to follow you around all day, constantly reminding you of the 2 biggest problems you can't fix.

So you try and you succeed to fix other stupid things. In reality tho your just wasting your life away. 

It's cold, it's dark and it's painfully lonely in my thoughts and dreams. 

My dreams? Let's see.

Dan sitting there, all alone, unknowingly dying, gut wrenching crying, in vain he's trying, to call out to his son. 

He can't make a sound tho, cause his mouths all caved in, there's so much blood everywhere.

Dazed and confused, the shocks kicked in. 

He doesn't know what happened but Dan knows it's bad. 

He's alone, still sitting there, dying all alone. 

I try to reach over, trying to help.

But no matter how hard I try I can't seem to change anything.


That's right I'm dreaming.


Boom


Everything’s black.

Mum Mum Mum. 
Is that Braxy calling?

Why won't this seatbelt undo? 
Why is it so slippery? 

This bloods making it impossible.
What!? Who's blood? 

Shit, I think that's mine. 

Why can't I fucking move.

Hang on, that's right, Kenadee's in the van too. 

I'll call out.

I'm scared Mum, she says in reply. 

I think I'm dead Mum, it's black and I can't move, I hear Braxy calling.

Sounds like he needs help.

Gotta send kenadee to get help for braxy boy, he's gotta play soccer soon. 

I will mum I'm ok I'll climb out the window and get someone. 

She's a tough cookie my daughter, I'll have to buy her a present when we get home. 

Now what the hell is pinning me to this chair? The pain, it's everywhere, why does it hurts so much?

That's weird, why can't I feel my legs? I need to get help to braxy, better tell him to stay awake.

Don't you go to sleep braxy……… everything fades away.

The vans purring well this morning. I find myself sitting in the passenger seat. I look across and think Heidi's looking a little tired. 

You awake baby. 

Hmmmm

She didn't seem to hear me. 

That's weird. 

Shit, why's she got her eyes closed.

HEIDI WAKE UP. 

Why can't she hear me? 

She's vearing off the road! 

Why won't my hands grip the wheel? I need to turn. 

There's a guard rail. NO! 

Slowmotion can be excruciating. Especially when your watching your best friend, your lover, your world, getting ripped in half and pinned to her seat.

Yet somehow, almost happy. You watch the guardrail twist and bend in directions that defy physical law. 

It's as if 2 hands were bending it, bending with ease almost like it's Play-Doh. 

As it bends and contorts you watch as somehow the impossible happens.

The railing misses the kids in the back taking the one safe path out threw the back.

But why? 

What did she do? 

What did she not do? 

Why cause so much pain? 

I thought You loved her? 

I thought You would have woken her up. 

She forgot to say goodbye that morning. Why didn't You at least remind her to say goodbye?

Heidi always said goodbye. 
Always.

I met her once in my dreams I've seen Dan once too. 
I know I'll see them again one day.

This is just a small corner of my innermost thoughts and dreams.

I hope you never visit for none have the strength to climb there way out from here.

Lucky for me, I'm getting a helping hand.

He's been down even lower, to the very depths of this lonely place.

He stole the keys and left a lantern in there space. 



Hopefully this helps someone who thinks dark and gloomy thoughts. It's okay. There are probably other people that smile at you and look happy as Larry but have just mastered the art of emotional camoflauge.

If you honestly call Me, I will answer.
I am the Promise Keeper.
I am the Healer.
I Am.",1.2224100093670565,3.7890410023640655,1.916967750568716,95.53415094339623,86.96690307328603,4.374485927115393,18.855836567197468,5.903454845963428,-0.29489277844685313,3352,92,708,25,106,1032,361,846,0.125,0.727,0.14800000000000002,0.9777,1,7,0,0,0,0,159.0,1,25,2,7,45,47,5,3,36,2,47,24,15,5,6,99,117,39,3,16,14,9,7,2,2,9,6,10,2,2,49,25,0,3,22,8,1,10,22,25,2,3,20,32,94,22,80,84,12,84,1,5,13,3,97,50,4,20,21,390,143,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697834411702888,0.15045652466335116,0.0,0.0,0.08058451471549906,0.052466876177134164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04802313148258331,0.033858859146071035,0.0,0.03984844049350325,0.04310720944287818,0.0,0.0,0.13648650562119302,0.07446941347433811,0.04043162617183204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081750884190843,0.04282667853807553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472291988164893,0.0,0.0,0.09948861150543194,0.051225675623216636,0.0,0.0,0.05232863480472125,0.0,0.03866224966477942,0.0,0.05319097558729195,0.09368751556610566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051196126834144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04237575875870269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16340986601231058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03198328587962955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703989553621541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896878500760511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0442582305483978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03741190033711776,0.04476677460926822,0.1770950763029263,0.0,0.02752020888686954,0.0,0.038728721735022405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564153801430285,0.10309549948238098,0.04337797289626427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373051803416264,0.05738211800836102,0.19474363474529294,0.0,0.04857275033386894,0.09619098583214923,0.0,0.0,0.05183839201773628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983691962558183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522461737638113,0.09903268355966158,0.03420297237067692,0.0473145830729621,0.0485330999070955,0.0,0.0,0.16265428281468178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043704127782986636,0.0,0.06464616661679562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293310126016528,0.10679060206336974,0.10771630516226084,0.037347212728772165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047444779606105325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313896140387707,0.06562607634554074,0.0,0.1545781549690234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007123390064134,0.0,0.050592284021214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220875706868476,0.046334779929470736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270686268281069,0.04606186735823725,0.1155250075428192,0.04848040261076346,0.0,0.07717457042070212,0.1322488933214718,0.0,0.0,0.09941211849290324,0.0,0.0,0.04845850242121298,0.0,0.12308730336469195,0.0,0.0,0.05420617905028531,0.0,0.051613041650686316,0.038671094827779404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03640846932459408,0.03892100038971465,0.0423243009071521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032170442669238394,0.1861670624716007,0.0,0.19221437535287586,0.028236150644455525,0.05565572609972587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263011194415762,0.052670897133020006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03995448483131184,0.02856145350439413,0.038436345395365695,0.0,0.0,0.08707714054819954,0.0,0.4806417594392913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052513254330238096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03439868745698007,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thevelvetcaterpillar,2019/04/09,"Looking for advice—not eating Lately, eating has been either on or off. Mostly off, if I`m being honest. I`m a sophmore in college and I guess this issue started with me late Junior year of highschool. I think this started with me using it as a punishment for myself. I`m bipolar and when I felt like I acted poorly because of my own mental health that it meant I was bad and so I don`t deserve things. I still think like this sometimes. I won`t eat for days sometimes though, even when I don`t think I`m punishing myself. I just won`t eat and eventually I won`t feel hungry but my energy will fall through the floor. I do this and then one night I`ll eat a pretty good amount of food, then feel guilty and not eat the next day. I don`t think I have an eating disorder, I like my body but I also think I look nice after I don`t eat for a day or two. I just feel really ashamed about all of this and I don`t know what I did to myself to get here but thinking about eating more food is kind of off putting . I started off 142lbs at the beginning of this current school year and now I weigh in at 122.5 lbs standing 5'5"" tall. I don`t really know what I can do about this. I`ve honestly been really great mood-wise as of late, I`m just barely eating and it`s embarrassing to even think about bringing this up to my counselor because it`s just another thing that`s wrong with me. 


I guess I`m on here looking for guidance or just some feedback...",2.3889838591342643,4.821890202127662,3.0151797505502564,90.765,79.60283687943262,5.591782831988262,21.071655661530933,6.8039241337230125,0.4486063585228664,1135,32,224,12,29,354,145,282,0.08900000000000001,0.7959999999999999,0.115,0.8151,1,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,0,20,15,2,2,8,0,12,16,1,1,1,46,38,25,0,1,14,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,15,12,13,0,14,0,1,4,1,6,0,2,6,7,36,9,38,30,7,40,0,0,3,0,0,13,0,8,25,152,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05599686326273125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342455935349172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05846575335367565,0.08536997254602441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777906664562767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547590577058366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025170143047483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7165036468247695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924982287742491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621624124576047,0.0,0.06723245530004554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934265329880774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036583797782717975,0.0,0.0,0.058731441003728235,0.0,0.07719990912218765,0.15427506788822767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744305039488643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308516094712958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729175220745639,0.07696492561720428,0.0,0.2369648468790473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262817771239004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640346335341234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056607860554685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446958391346425,0.06571124994541143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047448969488407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123792286042588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039182124337025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457436799248831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086637583475194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13850782699431566,0.0,0.14868657973475766,0.0,0.05591995440669917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303950122533636,0.31407254713382937,0.06879662210774606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840167995256684,0.0,0.0,0.060476844602892016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655846830404632,0.0,0.09018421984056736
mentalhealth,OrganicTruck,2019/04/09,"Can a 7 year old have schizophrenia? I think my nephew is mentally ill in some way.

He's a smart kid and reads a lot of books. He was taken out of school and home schooled by my sister.

When he was at the library, he read a book about people apparently being possessed by the devil for real. It's giving him nightmares. When he stays at my house, he wants to sleep on the floor next to my bed and tell me loves me several times a night. He told me he's afraid that the devil is going to possess him and make him kill people. I told him religion is BS, and most books he reads are false. He was like, ""Ok that makes sense. People have different opinions."" But then he asked people at my sister's church how the devil possesses people, and instead of telling him that doesn't actually happen, they basically said it happens to evil people who let him in.

So now my nephew says the same prayer over and over again when he's afraid he sinned, and he keeps checking his forehead to see if he's sprouting horns because his face feels funny. 

My sister's really dumb and also really neglectful and mean to him, and neither her or her husband are going to do anything about this, I guarantee it. My nephew is home schooled and 90% of what he learns is Christian material. He's obsessed with learning about how to cast out the devil and can't find any books about to basically perform an exorcism because that obviously doesn't actually happen IRL. It's a disorder called epilepsy, but he's so far brainwashed that he's like, ""Are you sure Satan doesn't cause that?"" He doesn't believe anything I say because I'm an atheist.

Is this schizophrenia?",4.925548003398472,5.9655707320872295,5.355906258850183,82.65139549702634,69.09345794392524,8.079354290569245,28.921127159444925,8.296473431620573,1.9411732087227416,1299,46,252,18,22,415,167,321,0.083,0.857,0.06,-0.813,2,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,1,1,15,18,3,3,15,1,23,5,3,5,2,42,44,26,1,2,4,7,1,2,0,0,1,3,3,1,14,16,0,2,6,7,1,2,6,12,0,0,7,5,28,6,31,35,5,27,8,1,1,1,53,12,1,6,13,145,42,12,0.0,0.0,0.19358769804272805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932115605128187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745170754388426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324767367657053,0.0,0.092728031562688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181393506346374,0.0,0.0,0.1117516824141266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128273797388458,0.0,0.0,0.1018941029086306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036310652332059,0.1136788270207314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015277973402107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065666169853268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515082541389404,0.1127424316795332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263136681343864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19898867804800915,0.0,0.0,0.11445042587308747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816346122037022,0.10973758460777597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014271512814817,0.0,0.09691716315594832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432667348981429,0.0895216613533388,0.0,0.1324184357229794,0.0,0.0,0.10804555679548417,0.0,0.0,0.099958865673159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548829242378914,0.09308186222484023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040818402212068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4125896735156702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976465824491876,0.1128984393979041,0.1270856237542063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943511540013334,0.15775764788844734,0.0,0.30115273582395524,0.07904054043358559,0.0,0.0,0.1120549818092708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926031849857736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057219413921629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348416234326383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339056629345928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06355610467918747,0.0,0.0,0.057837720237007485,0.0,0.0,0.18955807948777875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058504056666584564,0.07873136178874564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387426150794577
mentalhealth,SheryBery,2019/04/09,"Is my mental health slipping? Or are these feelings and worries I'm having normal and transient? I work a full-time job at a tech company with a good pay but I haven't made any progress over the last three years. I feel helpless in all aspects of my life. I am dependent on my company for my resident status in this country as they sponsor my work permit Visa so I can't make any drastic changes. I feel too exhausted and unmotivated to do anything productive outside of work. The rare occasions when I use my sketch pad and art supplies or when I cook a good meal makes me feel better for that period of time. I'm just rarely motivated to do those things. I feel myself withdrawing from my family and friends back home. I don't have close friends here who I can talk to about how I feel. Lately I have also started noticing that I'm even more forgetful than usual. I have a hard time remembering names and events. It almost feels like my mind is wasting away because I'm not feeding it. I'm in constant need of mental stimulation. I need to always have videos or podcasts playing in the background when I'm at work and at home. The only time I'm not looking at a screen is when I'm traveling to and from work, when I'm out with friends or when I'm asleep. I have a vague sense of dread at the back of my mind at all times. My resting bitch face has permanently changed to a resting worried face. I'm just not happy with where I am in life and what I'm doing but at the same time I also feel helpless to change that. This thought process goes on in a constant loop in my mind unless I distract myself with videos, podcasts etc. I just can't handle living in my own thoughts. What should I be doing?",4.179602713178293,5.1586860494186055,4.921511627906976,85.30701550387597,70.77325581395348,7.7100775193798485,29.740310077519393,7.9370924344782425,1.8524635658914723,1347,53,276,17,24,435,172,344,0.15,0.773,0.077,-0.9742,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,8,20,15,1,2,15,0,24,10,3,9,2,61,54,27,0,4,13,0,9,1,3,1,4,0,2,0,13,15,3,0,12,6,2,1,7,6,0,1,3,11,37,9,45,49,8,45,0,2,2,0,7,22,1,6,23,180,50,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907049681274458,0.0,0.0,0.14487707232268646,0.07537162967037643,0.0,0.0,0.1231979764113144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454141556654925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510493935468838,0.13930420935024654,0.0,0.055218055825315165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801125766204621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28747180519624,0.0,0.0,0.19577431210362514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101023074378881,0.05982867521066239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539281715626779,0.0,0.3664085728660839,0.0647119270818342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20995070137949948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195206892197105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09642641436883884,0.08114384061333882,0.0,0.0,0.09628462091724366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817226231695301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988883602173461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738365660754549,0.10218064387569284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796174432520127,0.044253877385423634,0.0,0.0799857239765118,0.0,0.07606621701384372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571104835931236,0.12092861629936533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18257106341291046,0.0,0.2743865374337085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343310765650062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875130342073569,0.0,0.10312841165229852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889182924357719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261195135024123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411453282235953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280652463146081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060178775035337036,0.0,0.0,0.14382426467484344,0.2640959863324137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823391953467165,0.09976347328493962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3297245272570825,0.18398120034351476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833195369758669
mentalhealth,bluewhaleish,2019/04/09,"Dealing with constant self-doubts Hello everyone, 

I have an issue with constant, nagging, destructive self-doubts. My ''inner critic'' of not being good enough, of being bad, unsuited for what I do, useless, unskilled etc. never quite leaves me in peace. 

I've come to realize that there's no use in repressing the bad feelings tied to my self-doubts, I now know simply shoving them aside won't make them go away in the long run since they'll always bubble back to the surface.

My question is: how do I make myself see myself more realistically? The constant chatter of the inner critic drags me down, isolates me from the people around me and makes me anxious and wary of things. 

''Everything I do is bad, worse than what anyone else does. Everyone else is better, luck is never on my side etc.''

Is there anyone here that can offer advice on how to deal with those thoughts and feelings properly? I don't want to believe them anymore, I don't want them to control my life.

Thanks!",5.503707440100882,6.934115032786888,5.5688524590163935,80.20921815889031,68.07103825136612,7.597982345523329,29.37746952501051,7.882392219407189,2.0024866750735613,773,28,135,9,13,243,111,183,0.207,0.731,0.061,-0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,5,3,8,11,2,1,7,0,16,1,0,7,2,28,30,5,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,8,0,2,6,0,0,3,7,7,0,0,1,3,24,4,24,25,4,23,0,1,1,0,10,12,0,2,8,94,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095023374352546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324170685064576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12659428760530675,0.11113199014866884,0.15670791491100491,0.1148172471703353,0.0,0.09975588486727403,0.0,0.0,0.10528271501565646,0.08616612316929757,0.28069267513629004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625163464834355,0.0,0.0991066985941916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652853548932712,0.0,0.3632865130663536,0.1256832144998399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23105492985853224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806320953106633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722111195655836,0.0,0.0,0.11578645768789353,0.249949853216158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21415353110699525,0.10071101690630027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113320359690228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368546757543465,0.09398941171720578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169600330807813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615844593457219,0.0,0.0,0.11865384537718035,0.0,0.0,0.07915028177476922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916830794459776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22439989635658614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285295435427453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768730276970309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553124392009307,0.1191880824831786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929617181286592,0.0,0.3507045819222779,0.0,0.0,0.09269600687233144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316847547526968,0.0,0.0,0.07444673446779981,0.0,0.0,0.08896198731186639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678262527864527,0.0,0.0,0.13219009554315087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141972559990838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,_tydolla,2019/04/09,"Getting a cat helped my mental health I was going through a really rough time as far as my mental health goes. My therapist wasn't the right one for me, so I quit going and was really not feeling so great and was in a pretty dark place. My roommate and I decided to get a cat and ever since my mood has definitely improved. The first few months he hid and was super anxious and I was like same dude. Then after a while he decided he could trust us and have been amazing. He sleeps in my bed every night and loves to talk to me. It's really nice having him there when my roommate isn't home. His presence makes me feel a little less alone. I still struggle with it, but he's made it a little easier cause I have this cute little guy that's always happy to see me. Just thought I'd share this for anyone who is thinking about getting an ESA or just wanted something nice to read.",4.177333333333333,4.831471177777779,5.075555555555557,85.39000000000001,70.55555555555556,7.777777777777778,25.0,7.793537801064563,1.1921666666666677,692,18,143,8,12,226,113,180,0.036000000000000004,0.742,0.222,0.9887,0,1,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,3,9,13,0,1,10,0,14,4,1,3,1,27,28,17,0,2,5,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,7,9,0,0,6,1,0,2,3,1,0,2,9,4,20,11,15,18,3,20,0,0,1,1,14,8,0,1,11,92,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656088764100568,0.0,0.0,0.10971301727483812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895738969240732,0.0,0.09219532093762756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545028832500694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527461957998786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926941206788035,0.1110926075654374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333385992193337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215487008141696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666468065208032,0.0,0.14987123338382805,0.0,0.0,0.14536940332498194,0.0,0.13055610279658406,0.0,0.1403609410021435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803090851078326,0.0,0.0,0.0883788977671733,0.0,0.13226022431928122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441716114271331,0.3964567768862791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900330338563984,0.12476335950827472,0.08801351003751141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26575546159351315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10524453449718722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373596426369116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934762309108192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775927423250708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414283071163474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024286549556272,0.13188959341395,0.0,0.2534069767743039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260252030185199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050704965791177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907091844192444,0.0,0.13194913519107612,0.0,0.0,0.10150758315899508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529870434427396,0.0,0.0,0.13784233724301628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059791798259587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309255432371155,0.0,0.08448666270048781,0.0,0.10467727780213976,0.07688507635411146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860402123903167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777085343964704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DancingDogOnAcid,2019/04/09,"I just need to vent, I'm very nervous, I have diagnosed OCD and a mood disorder, my main trigger is dirt and cleaningness, I just moved to a new house that I'm keeping religiously clean, my friends are coming over tonight and I'm panicking So, I'll explain more if someone actually cares to read this.
I'm 25M, I got diagnosed last year with OCD and a related mood disorder, but I have been dealing with issues related with this since I was a teenager.
My main issue is with cleaningness, but it's not really dirt itself, but mostly it's about how I feel about it.
A stupid example.
I go to the beach and I have fun, I love the beach, and If I walk for a bit without shoes in the house after the beach it's not a big deal; but If I simply touch shoulders with a guy that I don't like, or I sit down in a place where I didn't have a good time or that I consider not nice, I have to change my clothes and shower and clean or wash everything I touched before I was able to shower.
I use a ridiculous amount of wet wipes every day, I clean my phone and laptop multiple times a day, every time I touch something that it's not in my bedroom, like a glass in the kitchen, I need to wash my hands before going back in the bedroom.
I was taking medication but it didn't help much, there's not much mental health awareness in the country I live at the moment.
To tackle the most recent problem, I moved in a new place by myself last week, and it's going great mood wise, but not great for this issue, I wash my hands 30-40 times a day whenever I touch something not related to my bedroom or that has been outside the house.
I manage to have a normal life beyond this, I have girlfriend (long distance, she's not here now and when she's around this issues are way less problematic, and she knows all about it).
I have friends in this town (I recently moved back to my hometown just for the summer) and they have no idea about my mental health situation and coming clean about this seems really hard for me at the moment, since during the years I lived away our relationship has grown less intimate and just more about hanging out.
They're coming to have pizza and hang out tonight at my place and I'm extremely nervous about having them over.
Nobody has been in my house since I moved in and everything is ""pure"" and I'm so afraid that after they come everything will lose its purity.
I'm afraid I'll lose the good feeling I have about this house.
I'm also afraid I won't be able to be chill and have fun and that I'll be paranoid all night.

I honestly don't know what you could tell me, I'm just anxious and I needed to vent with people that may understand what I'm going through.",5.242513736263735,5.112261371794872,5.803569139194143,83.84403502747256,68.06593406593407,9.096062271062275,28.600961538461537,8.751876143730069,1.8959269230769231,2103,63,447,31,32,682,225,546,0.118,0.778,0.103,-0.061,2,0,2,0,0,0,51.0,1,1,3,2,26,28,2,5,30,0,38,16,4,3,3,86,72,40,0,9,27,0,10,2,3,3,9,0,10,1,28,35,2,1,8,4,0,16,15,10,0,0,9,10,62,15,59,56,14,74,0,2,0,1,20,27,0,11,31,289,90,3,0.1324996918340463,0.0,0.06465029295984924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05297997784443334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484346861731864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897640864913482,0.0,0.0,0.062243911050612624,0.10188408430250524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274747868734115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232767318173176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06754613323318083,0.0,0.07008355256412847,0.2282735043810408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05289511116571745,0.0,0.0,0.12817700971041818,0.13660136423895722,0.0,0.13448439811495505,0.0,0.0,0.15185612607677546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116367050350335,0.0,0.17862326908648665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699582536158061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236893323128753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15060525665177016,0.11113445510509826,0.052986053818444685,0.14608137801203966,0.0,0.06559776324379044,0.0,0.0,0.05934684914576008,0.0,0.0,0.1408409764546695,0.0,0.0,0.044405875231363606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822171365683307,0.0,0.07478801208135881,0.0,0.276590507548148,0.0,0.05888590704759765,0.0,0.0,0.07281836546569195,0.10800493334304016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679422541190193,0.06473265661216361,0.0,0.11699965539634885,0.058629028875493774,0.0,0.14823326305371642,0.0,0.0,0.059793072506790675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673974992411638,0.13352852510860674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28165240672730296,0.09740251910796416,0.14737026389616945,0.0,0.12796902803116186,0.0,0.06217099250548476,0.06491078282452098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0459293015253294,0.0,0.2076509652670984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633921553054663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626777406620353,0.0,0.08488269543740508,0.0,0.13082746080419375,0.0711275412021761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060311371552657526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440767144873766,0.07446760257046649,0.0,0.0,0.056133279456617766,0.10200473612310293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049811639234548025,0.0,0.057905285411638724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154523271685457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896842602592489,0.0,0.0572185958368658,0.0,0.05466306112669063,0.0,0.052586044012433435,0.05314163026553292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386248733274562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532545736808686
mentalhealth,HawkeyePharm,2019/04/09,"How to start a conversation about mental health with my adolescent nieces and nephews? I have one niece in particular I feel is at high risk for developing depression and anxiety, if she does not already present the appropriate signs and symptoms for diagnosis. (I am not a psychiatric professional, but I studied psychology in college and have worked in psychiatry for over a year now, but not as familiar with children.) She has multiple predisposing factors such low socioeconomic status and unstable home life. Her mother (my sister) has a slew of psychiatric problems, and I think is a cause of a lot of anxiety for my niece due to her mom’s style of parenting. My niece’s grandparents (mine and my sister’s parents) and myself try to provide a positive environment for her and my other nieces and nephews, which I feel is a protective factor for my niece.

With that background for you guys, what do you suggest is a positive and hopefully impactful way to approach a conversation about mental health with my niece? She is 11 years old, and is becoming increasingly aware of the reality of her situation. I can see how her behavior has shifted as she’s grown up; she’s become increasingly anxious and scared of the world and her mom. She doesn’t have interest in school or sports, and mostly stays quiet and to the sidelines as her peers interact and participate.

At the very least I want to educate her on the importance of positive mental health. Ultimately, I want her to be mindful of the way she’s feeling and have the tools to cope with what life throws and has thrown at her.

I really appreciate any advice/direction y’all can give me!",9.4039,8.728372923333335,9.556000000000001,62.17300000000003,59.76666666666666,13.866666666666667,41.0,12.913307274991677,5.6,1327,63,223,44,15,441,156,300,0.07400000000000001,0.812,0.114,0.9479,3,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,0,1,6,7,0,2,18,0,20,6,0,3,0,46,30,28,0,5,7,9,3,0,0,0,6,1,1,2,5,24,0,1,4,1,0,5,4,5,0,1,0,5,41,2,44,29,5,28,0,2,1,0,36,13,0,5,7,162,46,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131244657188938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087798486728126,0.0,0.18196563857904968,0.1343595507523277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627025758757872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217614665644776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024361428963261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407838321271247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040710493835468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409061828312445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776159179444776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792581505152823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565841545751508,0.11929870923917317,0.1181265253803979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680106820354246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111191652161136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595671000621256,0.0,0.1200876338436952,0.27858394663738184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247993535655539,0.0,0.08059154718067657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641203011628921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138020680416907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619102265242524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907189556088785,0.12036575152607625,0.09477357750995703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336847932333206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418083423817296,0.1267659172377796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236161101873236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620696138970807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074716737672323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813153333769564,0.14029860420290002,0.18880571357479176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658406932541357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317689481136934
mentalhealth,tuudug,2019/04/09,"feeling euphoric for no reason i'm 18, 1st year university student. lately there has been certain problems in my life that's currently causing me a lot of anxiety. sometimes, for no reason, i think of ""solutions"" to the problems that are totally useless in reality, but makes me extremely happy and relieved for a brief moment before realizing that it's not doable. 

has anybody else experienced this?",9.120571428571427,9.723804628571427,9.609285714285717,57.33821428571432,59.85714285714286,12.142857142857144,46.07142857142857,11.698219412168324,6.1891428571428575,324,20,44,9,4,109,56,70,0.132,0.68,0.188,0.812,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,4,2,15,8,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,2,4,3,8,7,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,32,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507516195184245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20586391485692904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24852791225494025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20210078778936927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223266635190365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575381127701987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729066548583993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17088173586046335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567953896822053,0.0,0.0,0.16148960751834426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4629871076262731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4974869844498501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392741469962745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501845107894854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579446117338802
mentalhealth,yeahcanigetuhhhhh,2019/04/09,Going through extreme stress (break up with a bf I love very much) feel like I get no rest due to bad dreams Has anyone experienced or found a way to stop this?? I experience a lot of stress symptoms at night I’m a serial teeth grinder and ex sleep walker. I’ve been extremely stressed over losing a relationship with the man I love and every night my dreams (not specifically about him) leave me feeling exhausted in the morning. My dreams are vivid and active and feel like an entire storyline. I don’t always remember them in the morning but I wake up unrested and anxious. Does anyone know how to stop or alleviate this?,4.230756302521009,6.319305226890759,5.015705882352943,80.29767647058827,72.36134453781513,8.45747899159664,27.866386554621855,9.120678840339163,2.4186295798319324,498,19,93,11,10,161,84,119,0.175,0.684,0.142,-0.4775,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,2,10,0,3,9,0,4,7,3,1,0,21,14,9,0,0,4,1,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,7,0,2,6,3,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,5,11,4,14,12,3,14,0,1,1,2,8,6,0,3,7,54,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362498788745475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16784567550758667,0.0,0.20777198034108169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405260026468795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001760156430525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517951475401373,0.0,0.0,0.14533331432713956,0.0,0.0,0.22536955672443426,0.2122817626911384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290308700045505,0.0,0.0,0.07762348010894783,0.0,0.08443769878892425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081652066417718,0.0,0.0,0.15731780008113674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451709371197567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662156540149154,0.0,0.12631180913756185,0.26818662552617384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921855919992618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27885218114130883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15951225164770647,0.16830472285472495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868071852306994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24842806455715066,0.5105710538764208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442467172473887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258863184220226,0.0,0.11793066572940974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,curiouscat1092,2019/04/09,"The Truth Is, I’m Struggling. [Long Vent]   

That’s the first step, right? Admitting I’m struggling? Well. I’ve done it. Personally and now publically. 

If it matters, 26F from NY.

​

Last week I made phone calls to all of the mental health centers in my area that accept my insurance in search of a therapist. They all have wait-lists, but they said they’ll get back to me. I admitted to my SO that I really do need professional help. I’ve said it before.

I made it through three therapy sessions back in… ’15(?) before I stopped going. I felt ashamed that I struggled with anxiety and depression. “Therapy isn’t something people really *need.* You just need to do things you like and spend more time outside!” – my completely unrealistic mother. 

But the truth is… I lost myself. Somewhere between the ages of 19 and 24 I lost myself. If you’d asked me at nineteen what I wanted to do? I would have said that I wanted to work in business, maybe get into publishing or work for a non-profit. Now? I just want to make it through the week.

I struggle with feelings of inadequacy. I’ve always struggled with my weight, though these days I try to be mindful of what I consider fuel. As a child, food became the comfort that I sought when I didn’t have friends or didn’t get invited to parties. Another aspect of my feelings of inadequacy stems from my Cerebral Palsy. It’s not that I can’t do most all of the things any “normal person” can do, I can. I might just have to do them a little differently. I might also take longer. Most people don’t have patience for my pace. 

I felt that need to be loved at a very young age. I learned like many other young women that my body could get me the attention I wanted. By twenty-one, I found myself stuck in the arms of a controlling and abusive man, “Hank.” I worked 50+ hour weeks only to hand over my paycheck to him. He constantly critiqued and belittled me. I did whatever I could to make him happy, but it never worked. He cut me off from my friends and my family so that he could have me “all to himself.” Looking back, I can see that he didn’t really want me, he just wanted a housekeeper and a personal ATM. But at the time, I was… almost brainwashed. 

I made a female friend online, Emily. Hank approved. We talked whenever we had a spare moment. I confided in her about everything that was happening at home. She promised she would help. As luck would have it, she lived nearby. She started coming over for dinner, or girl’s night. She helped to mediate things between myself and that boyfriend. She had even convinced him to allow me to go home for a weekend and visit my family.

When I got back from my weekend away, all of my belongings were in garbage bags on the front lawn. He was, “done with me.” Just like that, I was free! But, at the same time, I was hurt. Scared. Sad. Confused. Homeless. I reached out to Emily to see if I could crash with her until I got back on my feet. She never responded.

I was lucky enough to be able to move back home. My parents and I never really discussed what happened. They just blamed everything all on him. My only fault in the whole thing? Being, “too nice.” I got back on my feet, paid off debts from Hank, and started over. I truly felt like that chapter was behind me… 

And it was, until I got the invitation in the mail. Emily was engaged to marry Hank. I couldn’t breathe. My mind was racing. What had I missed?! Had they planned this all along?! How could she want to be with him after knowing what he did to me?!I didn’t go to the wedding. I didn’t confront Hank or Emily. I didn’t even respond. But I did end all of my friendships and isolate myself. Was it necessary? On one hand, probably not. On the other hand, no one could be trusted.

It’s getting better now. I’ve been with my SO for a little over two years. He’s remarkable kind and understanding. We bought a house. I’ve made another female friend. I have a dog.

But I’m still haunted by what happened. I can’t help but feeling like there’s something wrong with me for having three failed long-term relationships. For being twenty-six and not yet having gotten married. For not being able to maintain healthy friendships. 

When someone asks what I want to do in life, the answer is simple: I don’t know. Do I want to go back to school? Do I want to travel? I don’t even know how to think about going back to college or traveling without getting anxiety. The cost of either endeavor is expensive, and for what? A piece of paper, or a memory? I feel guilty for entertaining such ideas… For now, I get through one day at a time. Hopefully, I’ll find a therapist soon and figure some stuff out…

Thanks for listening everyone.",1.7217800033664403,4.249065277899344,3.0716356673960625,88.69370497391012,83.31072210065645,6.053677832014812,22.68342871570443,7.395310329662975,1.048577377545867,3640,127,720,58,104,1180,374,914,0.108,0.7190000000000001,0.173,0.9962,3,0,2,0,0,0,150.0,3,3,6,12,41,48,2,8,38,0,80,14,8,10,13,146,160,49,0,29,29,2,11,5,4,6,2,4,4,7,43,33,3,2,21,5,8,12,22,19,1,7,48,18,123,30,118,90,17,99,0,7,3,1,73,35,0,19,57,506,166,12,0.09456672049890937,0.05602305006331814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04734745522259174,0.0,0.0,0.03781248610848137,0.03934354351856169,0.0512315010755049,0.05745445812477053,0.032154306385140656,0.09916145186736143,0.07234328234116917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840711809757591,0.0,0.04442427342740262,0.32722186863765823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046931397649369,0.0,0.0,0.04181828969912887,0.0,0.052521153966598,0.0,0.0,0.04828159741129464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04073042810006288,0.04957570361797856,0.05109651470819117,0.05303230910549262,0.2265114940628939,0.0,0.0,0.06098771141220369,0.0,0.040725088897868834,0.0,0.0,0.04940104771045376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677458793445973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04187902273615502,0.048856350776596606,0.0,0.09369064051432097,0.0,0.0,0.04518127700224188,0.08499047068708147,0.0,0.0891490878637764,0.0,0.0956315505925484,0.033779242009872534,0.13619832258161754,0.0,0.043216134657705414,0.04021920207347037,0.05717522689968463,0.05184376396902228,0.1461240273491291,0.0,0.17292522927130302,0.0,0.13436111637614825,0.0,0.15126729043460327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543755793869255,0.05033401621605571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050260000875563815,0.0,0.0,0.12677215873900693,0.0,0.14228719673924534,0.0469630455744698,0.04656458533810195,0.05455864934240277,0.050617815084758565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04923834354029581,0.0779570946792054,0.038542249429331016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033397635679279565,0.1155013072155198,0.09478069750878633,0.04175207337158587,0.08368857180038608,0.0397061139909617,0.0,0.10323074644927166,0.0,0.04267507869076995,0.17896263492742434,0.06312402025564118,0.04793790587609861,0.04750249068615068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04765050596643187,0.10032034619442126,0.09548542976220577,0.0,0.0,0.05025472900379617,0.0,0.14024004999875356,0.10940352705323077,0.0,0.0,0.04437223053144684,0.04632765383650949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612128582403576,0.07192225227905072,0.0,0.0,0.052502575948593484,0.0,0.0,0.0655606569333908,0.1238580190967962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05097945959055946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116372534174524,0.0,0.0,0.050764633604321326,0.0,0.04037973130114315,0.13493191013333508,0.0,0.04733889225859195,0.047853284910574806,0.07535743264305376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04006303769905935,0.07280208155201033,0.0,0.0,0.06693481150136726,0.0,0.0377605525736209,0.03953100637726397,0.0,0.24715417225448236,0.05412813504079874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03555120242080158,0.03800457390665845,0.0,0.043532165397901286,0.10814528646191596,0.10979925122857946,0.1256518541446414,0.030297268029443037,0.04645566137435657,0.0,0.11028523041667064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0321022978480976,0.0,0.046188972422757615,0.04922364555694357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039013724119879634,0.27888950944749696,0.0,0.1137835785113667,0.057578394572419915,0.04251341936754362,0.0,0.0,0.052790183132373984,0.0,0.045579471969829005,0.0,0.1376913976148226,0.0,0.0,0.10076622748599616,0.0516969317665342,0.05745445812477053,0.03044893375478828
mentalhealth,The_Agnostic_Orca,2019/04/09,"I really need some thoughts on this. I don’t know if something is wrong with me or not. Does anyone else experience this? Warning: it’s long. Hello! I guess I should start from the beginning. I am not diagnosed with anxiety or depression as I have not been able to get an appointment to be evaluated. However, I have had some questionable things that cause me to think I have some form of anxiety. In the past five months, I can count maybe five times that I’ve had a nervous breakdown of some kind. These are mostly academic related and how I feel awkward socially. 

The first two were very minor, had thoughts of failing my final exams in the fall quarter of university. I was crying, had an empty feeling, despair and hopelessness surrounded me. I had to go back to community college, and now that I entered into winter quarter, I had two. The first one, someone asked me to say and do things I wasn’t comfortable with that wasn’t truly appropriate for the class but related. I sat at my desk, and I suddenly had the feeling like I needed to leave. I was nervous and jittery, I should mention I have caffeine in the morning on a regular basis.. I walked out, and ran outside into the snow and paced near the entry way of the building. I was crying, nervous, and I felt that the course was just too much for me to handle. I called my significant other, and she said that everything was going to be okay, and she calmed me down and brought me back to earth. 

The second one, the most recent, is the worst one I’ve experienced. My family puts a lot of pressure on my academically and spiritually. They force me to go to church every Sunday, and tell me that I need to submit to god to be successful. I’m atheist, but they don’t know. I’ll get to that more in a bit. I was taking my final exam for the same course of my previous breakdown. I was half way, trying to stay calm, and I was fine until I stumbled on a question I forgot how to do. I skipped it, and things got harder. I noticed there was a format problem with the test, so I stopped, let my instructor know, and they fixed it. It threw off my focus, my self-confidence, and I became very anxious about my answers. I had a feeling that I couldn’t do it, that I was going to fail. I ran out of the testing room, went to the bathroom, and cried. I texted my mother about what was happening, and she said “You can do this, I believe in you... You need to pray (she means submit) to god...” I told her it wasn’t good advice. I ran into the counselors office sobbing like a lunatic. She asked what was wrong and I told her that I have a lot of pressure, and she told me to talk with a specific in-office counselor. I spoke with her for a few moments and I felt better. I decided that even though I was nervous, I was going to finish the test. I did, and I barely passed the course. 

Now, back to the spiritual pressure from my family. I came out to my family as queer last year. They told me i will burn in Hell and that I made the choice to be this way. I can’t reason with them. I came home, and before my family said I could choose to go to church or not, when I got home, it’s the opposite. I have to go to church every Sunday, and hear about how this old ass preacher is offended that gay people can marry and stuff. I do plan to post to Facebook about the Brunei laws soon to raise awareness to my friends. When I go to church, I feel unwelcome, out of place, unwanted, alone, and like an outcast to put it simply. People notice I don’t worship or I fake it, and I fake prayer, and I don’t even want to interact with people there. I have the desire to be alone a lot anyway. Church has made me have self-hatred before I came out to myself and even put me into a “No you can’t be queer” spiral when I clearly am. I have no way out as I am visually impaired, I can’t drive, I don’t have a job, and I have to convince my family that I deserve to go to university because last summer they threatened that if I didn’t do chores properly I wouldn’t get any help from them. 

In other ways I display anxiety or other mental health issues, I have depression on and off, I bite my nails, I have terrible chronic constipation, and I don’t feel like being social sometimes, and can go a Day with barely talking. If I see a therapist or physiologist, I’m sure my family would 100% make sure it was a Christian one.. and that wouldn’t be too good with my current situation. 

TL;DR: I bite my nails, have constipation, have on/off mild depression along with tons of stress and pressure from family to do well. I’ve had somewhere between two and five nervous breakdowns where I either have the desire to run and hide and cry or kinda disassociate? 

Thank you for any help/advice you may have. Anything is helpful.",3.7614620765327134,4.897962692954785,5.109087002240205,82.98129886161023,71.91272344900105,8.07876377268779,27.03182005211905,8.500472952170082,1.8170546975723496,3695,126,748,61,69,1235,369,951,0.152,0.743,0.105,-0.9941,3,2,1,0,0,1,133.0,0,6,7,7,29,50,2,11,48,1,95,7,1,8,3,147,164,65,0,19,18,1,8,4,1,7,3,6,4,0,42,66,0,2,21,0,0,28,22,29,1,16,58,16,143,21,113,88,18,101,9,8,1,4,49,31,5,24,39,558,185,14,0.05144356395303045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054011061893284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656003537640864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996677512607179,0.0,0.11806255685052527,0.058116584438611216,0.0,0.035970536038398414,0.05271001058900833,0.042333669857623074,0.0,0.09618557585082403,0.0,0.0,0.11867077577455408,0.0,0.03135951910386972,0.0,0.08754936785301723,0.05795928018829166,0.0,0.04549765179957364,0.05616304807045945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525296305313041,0.17651319732137094,0.0,0.0528467109616365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04107349981559792,0.0,0.22603335759495294,0.03317684292984284,0.0,0.1329247987552573,0.0522141345338118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045018609487356816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04297449658880933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019339664455096,0.0,0.08668684274629625,0.0,0.04623415818083128,0.0503216767920521,0.3394748961448,0.0,0.15606846984480027,0.07350258473391012,0.09878777764606554,0.1127078195380087,0.0,0.08751573843698175,0.0,0.0,0.03974516989883343,0.0,0.08063141673197202,0.0,0.29236562911903724,0.08629684144088355,0.08228823510448256,0.0,0.056670885492945765,0.0,0.045491373708685855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468210287256926,0.05798063537941048,0.0,0.10344460960178443,0.0,0.10320417819342287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053693715309450094,0.05104979935124527,0.0,0.0,0.05357055550817593,0.08481611214948295,0.08386674140547397,0.0,0.05447130636200804,0.0,0.05260452955006716,0.0,0.10053090733066056,0.0,0.0,0.045525935263881684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120643530083173,0.0,0.09735428813139367,0.03433897840446859,0.0,0.05168197447577573,0.056037122342400034,0.0,0.0,0.05184301280928247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04106176194708037,0.0,0.0378169386778098,0.1525790033285604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713767705234256,0.053981366629799896,0.0,0.1394379612178918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910870275376107,0.10699346968877313,0.0,0.05374757512646843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049268713952492174,0.0,0.0,0.04922454309798231,0.0,0.1551449717415037,0.11525713008017542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03295606435605099,0.052892551657192734,0.0507943132058196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468038293308233,0.04090998684891629,0.0,0.0,0.040993860049887525,0.0,0.10733371325484417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05782472128404284,0.0,0.10488047001868864,0.0435879647967278,0.03960376883618138,0.05087900015807133,0.0,0.03641201934452551,0.05483199438994691,0.0,0.04300912295504393,0.05892842869853685,0.0,0.0588905729613773,0.0,0.0,0.09696990043231858,0.0,0.0386791578621515,0.08269677611575434,0.04496394236181446,0.04736232202715883,0.0,0.059729942761813634,0.10253045406044184,0.03296295858103132,0.05054304039061185,0.08168088695370188,0.02999715583919465,0.0,0.0,0.19662611969048624,0.0,0.03492680307988235,0.0,0.15075866081973066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489265573421513,0.03034274687627993,0.20416753282556527,0.0,0.0,0.04625394211743774,0.04768869917547202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03654403184427685,0.11249092287335163,0.0,0.03312796854225486
mentalhealth,Mr-Simonthy,2019/04/09,"I want help. I need help. I don’t know how to get it. I have a therapist, but I haven’t had a session in over a month and my next session is in over a month. 
I know what I need help with, but I don’t know how to “package” it and reach out for help. I don’t know what to do. I am lost, scared, and in pain.",-1.7631115459882594,-0.595657917808218,1.0853620352250497,105.85547945205481,87.08219178082192,4.719373776908023,15.908023483365948,5.288315135182226,-1.2464113502935423,224,4,69,1,7,78,34,73,0.16,0.654,0.18600000000000005,-0.2846,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,4,0,9,1,0,2,0,16,18,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,11,0,11,16,0,9,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,46,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848181657714176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.556699094201336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4564476872121289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266604261285434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33146790978642066,0.0,0.0,0.3079205622970673,0.0,0.0,0.220824414968005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22094051743236512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078809630047262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410826805780634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12246974322754417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Shamm-Wow,2019/04/09,"Helping someone with depression? I hope this is the right place to post.

My (now ex) boyfriend had been depressed throughout most of the time we knew each other. I feel bad because I never really noticed. He always smiled and laughed with me. We knew each other for 2 years and dated for 4 months of it (he had feelings for me the whole time though).

A few weeks before the breakup he told he that he didn’t feel right and that he doesn’t want to leave the house. He doesn’t want to get prescription pills or see a doctor.

He pretty much stopped seeing his friends. I was the only person, besides work and family, that he hung out with. He told me he wanted to breakup with me because, while he loves me and cares for me, he doesn’t love me anymore (I assume the spark is gone?). Of course this is a reason to break up with someone, but my parents and I think he may have broke up with me because of his depression. My coworker (who is kinda buddies with him) even agrees he seems to be in a cloudy state of mind right now. He blindsided me with the breakup; he hugged me, told me he loved me, called me babe/baby, was affectionate, etc. throughout our whole relationship and up till that Friday (3/29) we hung out. We had plans for my birthday (4/4), and we were going to see a musical on 4/12 (we’re still going). Why would he breakup with when we had things planned, ya know?

He broke up with me on 3/31 and it put me through a depression all week. I was barley eating, drinking, sleeping, and was throwing up when possible. I’m still getting over it, but I hate to think he’s feeling like this all the time (he ate when we went out though, and I doubt he throws up). I don’t think he’s suicidal (never says he hates himself, wants to die, etc.).

He was my best friend for 2 years and boyfriend for 4 months of it. I want to help him. Part of me hopes that, maybe once he gets better, he’ll want to try us again. When I asked, he did say that maybe we’ll get together again, but he’s not going to date for a while. I can accept that he may never see me as a girlfriend again though and will help him as a friend. Part of me will wait for him and help him through his depression, but I also won’t turn down a guy that asks me out.

I’ve been looking up vitamins he may be able to take instead (my mom does this and she said it helps her), and I’m going to try to get him to go to the free counseling my school offers. I’m going to try and get him to see me once a week to socialize. Is there anything else I can do to help him?",2.9971566848154865,3.96523700766284,3.692272635612017,93.05762250453722,73.55938697318007,6.874047186932849,24.08166969147005,7.0608816371341465,0.6243287356321834,1946,54,448,18,38,616,224,522,0.096,0.742,0.162,0.9838,1,0,1,0,0,0,82.0,10,1,0,5,18,28,2,1,21,0,37,11,1,1,5,83,96,35,2,9,6,3,4,1,4,9,3,3,0,2,21,40,3,2,14,1,1,11,10,11,0,0,23,13,67,18,69,62,14,64,0,7,6,4,88,20,0,11,31,274,88,3,0.06372790267685652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050963180746425085,0.05302672016298767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320095525716507,0.0,0.0,0.05244263393383835,0.0,0.11915397273671252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321013681890207,0.11654381391241295,0.0,0.05422775139618533,0.0,0.06687850216021103,0.05636215112460015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507331383973791,0.0,0.0649748440211248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744437459708299,0.0,0.06613950164031078,0.0,0.0,0.06522820877221443,0.055768717087274836,0.0,0.0,0.06242908315738184,0.0,0.06520955412676882,0.053236485300649804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214691438996604,0.042091678685899206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060076995005645735,0.0,0.12889096961058502,0.04552722640578335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770805857272512,0.0,0.19977119325884013,0.0,0.2173082142081064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310064293667407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258362205299066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562928190265712,0.0,0.0,0.1265923733841698,0.0,0.07353344341709481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03502318868256399,0.0,0.0,0.06747864735205218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03113423422720995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053515387966136814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255076080790682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804648770241353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434701492068605,0.07463734939715594,0.10173400783402134,0.0,0.046847341093951285,0.0,0.14745266173491842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255463958329612,0.0,0.13573627299421295,0.0,0.04846794167502645,0.0,0.0,0.07076229423383296,0.1380222167205104,0.0,0.0,0.05564474651763565,0.06658209450464875,0.0,0.0,0.07184363497482668,0.06103371474505598,0.06483418761693498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406414395506889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040825726301004416,0.06552289781901126,0.0,0.06841991797314745,0.0,0.16326984204807307,0.060619828988561934,0.10135797211871192,0.0,0.0644960397793253,0.253914437770404,0.05801548914437376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637739262060209,0.0649625713350312,0.10799289026647946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178637079685088,0.0532793801844387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970798207132885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04791545177765149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04233798681952087,0.12250280044620455,0.1878370224473297,0.0,0.11148075761127836,0.0,0.0,0.1826842260210244,0.0,0.1298011881245656,0.06931765818449441,0.0,0.0,0.0766568203105605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255302087910047,0.0,0.15335603855862734,0.0,0.0,0.059076404243982035,0.05750451992468875,0.14229985496820366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04639467214440924,0.0,0.0,0.0452704736187865,0.0,0.0,0.08207735984506638
mentalhealth,ElanaDunnLPC,2019/04/09,"[RECORDED LIVE] How To STOP Living Your Life According To Other People’s Expectations \[RECORDED LIVE on Instagram and Facebook\] --How To STOP Living Your Life According To Other People’s Expectations  

\-- which can lead to [\#depression](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%23depression) [\#anxiety](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%23anxiety) and even [\#ptsd](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%23ptsd))---  

Instagram: [https://www.instagram.com/therapystud...](https://www.youtube.com/redirect?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Ftherapystudio.live%2F&redir_token=ubeQcuVV4va2LnFlGbXc9oM-ROF8MTU1NDkwNTI5MkAxNTU0ODE4ODky&event=video_description&v=Cm0s1T7bjL4) 

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mentalhealth,Wonder_Woman760,2019/04/09,"Wife Disregards My MH Issues Hello all. I'm trying to hold it together today at work, but I feel like I'm just going through the motions. 

I've been married to my wife for nearly 4 years and have had depression and anxiety throughout that time. I'm medicated and have been seeing a therapist also. -- So, my wife is in the medical field and you'd think would be more sympathetic to someone with MH issues, but she isn't. EVERYTHING I do that she considers negative is just because I'm not trying hard enough/being shitty/trying to be mean. I don't like blaming my occasional outbursts of meanness on my depression and anxiety, but sometimes IT IS! She never wants to admit that it's my issues that can contribute to me being a crappy human and it blows. 

Curious if others have had this experience...?",4.064223227752642,6.165408071895428,5.9673202614379095,73.24217194570137,72.85620915032679,9.152136752136752,29.416289592760183,9.661875296680813,3.2447761689291106,637,27,107,17,13,220,94,153,0.165,0.722,0.113,-0.8691,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,0,19,2,0,0,2,25,31,12,0,3,7,3,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,10,7,0,2,5,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,4,3,14,2,14,22,2,10,0,2,1,0,10,4,0,1,6,79,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227017912792826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23475447514394746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353245827103362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26430641685079204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853921211260272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378973464619024,0.15008872167622792,0.0,0.0,0.07758126857128977,0.10961388496849132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720055915043172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744748475260538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4804383482377618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499210313734348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33427105752221625,0.0,0.3091389312870721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833841254791097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226770735178642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000484749034766,0.0,0.1517509864674388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814968272938767,0.0,0.09831485418377067,0.0,0.0,0.08946909286095991,0.0,0.14543829377803566,0.0,0.0,0.3125165670547469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904998478016833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170239562281196,0.0,0.0,0.10899571266411308,0.0,0.0,0.09880701056095637
mentalhealth,mrunknownnn,2019/04/09,"Should I see a doctor? Ok so I’ll try to keep this short and concise. 

Since I was a child I’ve had these episodes where I get trapped in my head/imagination and It’s like I go to a different place but I don’t hallucination or see things but it’s like I’m in a different place and I talk to myself. I get lost for a minute. This has been going on since I was a child I don’t know how much people realize I do this. 

Another thing that happens is that I have these personality changes. It’s like I’m still me at the core but I become a different person. It’s like a different person takes over me or something and my personality shifts. These shifts usually last for hours or sometimes days but it’s strange, hard to explain.

In between these times I feel numb, depressed or anxious. Is there something wrong with me? There’s more I could get into but I wanna keep it short. It’s crazy because I go from being super depressed and suicidal to be hyped up and on the top of the world. It switches on and off and I can’t control it.",0.296132644272177,2.6355808837209342,2.3341602067183485,92.51073212747632,89.0,5.417743324720068,21.451335055986213,6.937597516519254,0.5633841515934543,810,29,179,12,27,270,112,215,0.174,0.73,0.096,-0.9563,4,1,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,4,6,11,0,0,11,1,16,2,0,2,0,30,34,19,1,3,9,0,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,6,20,10,0,3,4,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,5,4,23,6,23,25,2,27,0,3,2,0,8,18,0,4,10,118,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161702035002616,0.0,0.1251581789974846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753494451180371,0.1223559316418466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719833378448065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425744127091888,0.0884546896833533,0.0,0.0,0.0714486800298949,0.0,0.19084197642285108,0.0,0.0,0.4629968325454494,0.0,0.1133955543109266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601741646664298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364546429635438,0.0,0.18888902416819534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796889387894707,0.0,0.09924371098165526,0.0,0.11369979039431442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910323019207607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19694578647540265,0.0,0.0,0.060885834045580324,0.0903064825140376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21650042610059184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093748726608775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144145472234023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680600388697705,0.38694098731996096,0.2314984162727247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17656635961947328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832888930446967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170579039936857,0.10957152885891637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847492637819508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118338699868787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329830477729991,0.08904668097402925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720439436176433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460099877175578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521734310279905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201662177164775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112858314520406,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cordium,2019/04/09,"Just need a place to vent my intrusive thoughts (tw: sh, blood) Context: I'm stressed because my neighbours are loudly shouting and singing to each other and it gives me sensory overload. Had a disagreement with my girlfriend as well

My intrusive thoughts get so loud that i can only sit still and wait under a dissociative blanket until its over. 
I want to go down to the kitchen, get the big knife and stab my arms. Left inner forearm. Left inner biceps. Upper thigh. I can see it vividly in my mind. But i cant do that i cant do that i cant do that. Breathe. Thebthought of having scars from it makes me sick.  
Alright slam your head into the wall. One two tgree until its better. Cant do that cant do that cant do that. Its a brick wall will hurt too much and make you feel nauseous all day. Scream. Scream as loud as ypu can. 
Cant donthat cant do that its too mental too crazy they might call the police. Breathe. Repeat. Kitcheb, knife, stabbing, blood. Thump the head and scream. And do none all just in your head muffled screaming.",1.326195121951223,3.8809375219512248,1.8255609756097573,96.57931707317074,85.97560975609754,4.255609756097561,22.346341463414632,5.6839178017228535,0.1070156097560977,812,29,169,5,25,247,119,205,0.159,0.802,0.039,-0.9758,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,1,1,8,9,0,1,9,1,24,13,11,2,2,25,38,14,0,2,3,0,1,0,2,2,1,8,1,0,16,10,1,1,3,1,0,1,9,6,1,2,3,11,18,3,18,33,5,22,0,1,2,0,8,15,0,1,5,108,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169853194950657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754832112828842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035294103806548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759209060281898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435468570298459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743244570277558,0.16003934407495826,0.0948138113196735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5136497194003347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785958653180849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625243928605915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22272176309931552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16812624827186493,0.17698115779593782,0.16845159085882044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226398636286227,0.12370295438394242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304889519289504,0.12688237194645735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17430272027140722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294258028027725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323132479113073,0.0,0.191104164221474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648901044691095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296948977711695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840115221194068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500009612596517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brinjalparty,2019/04/09,"Coping. Just curious. What are some maybe unusual things you do to cope/use as coping mechanisms?

Maybe you have a little routine, something really small or really specific that helps you. Maybe it's a little unhealthy, maybe it's totally fine. We're all going at our own pace, right?",3.4642948717948734,6.453090173076928,4.582307692307693,77.64602564102567,79.96153846153845,8.851282051282054,24.051282051282055,9.2995712137729,2.8475282051282056,227,8,37,7,6,74,41,52,0.059,0.797,0.14400000000000002,0.5438,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,5,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,3,4,4,6,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,0,23,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190824616642883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198433380363034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3947102374077176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7912885162910009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252290624841679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815969651264226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159060678207273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081796843590876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23685796735050135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,marker_lover,2019/04/09,"How to control yourself when others control your actions within your own body? I’ve recently grown worse as time has gone on with these former people inside my body.  For years I’ve dealt with this and I feel ready to go at times, but I just want a life.  I can’t afford care for my mental health because it isn’t considered a medical necessity to my insurance.  I recently lost my boyfriend to them, and I feel completely stuck.",4.837389558232932,6.217334686746991,5.443554216867472,80.67368473895584,69.6024096385542,8.90682730923695,29.49598393574297,9.2995712137729,2.579861044176707,341,13,64,7,6,110,60,83,0.097,0.81,0.092,-0.1128,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,1,3,3,2,0,0,2,0,3,5,2,3,0,12,11,6,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,2,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,3,2,12,1,12,8,1,14,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,7,40,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190582354970143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43388738017647865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199130010109226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20477722344876725,0.0,0.4381101313410813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975076698391081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099830902251227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20760377924516532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379521540804954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21320227540612646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675274424958628,0.19682500893837448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354023071235671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856871199801865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277718884855456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519800068543296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19903602491251296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577225649339624
mentalhealth,DrahaKka,2019/04/09,"I killed a rat, dopamine increasing. Hi, i'm a 18 y old greek/belgian (sorry in advance for the poor english by the way) guy who always felt kind of different , i'm pretty sure i don't feel things as everyone else do, i'll just say i have some troubles with feelings, empathy in particular, you know where i'm going with that detail.

​

However my girlfriend can prove i'm not a bad guy, even tho i don't really feel some feelings like everyone i can keep care of her.

​

So, today i discussed with my mom about that rat we kept who's sick,blind and deaf,probably insane since he tries to bite everyone, she gave him valium a week ago  with hope to end his sufferings (she's a nurse) didn't worked.

​

I said i would  get it done myself.

​

And here we go, today (1 hour ago) i asked her if she was sure about the rat, she said yes but wanted me to do it away, she doesn't want to see that.

​

I took my knife (gerber Strongarm) on my side, in case i fail the execution.

​

So, i got into that cage, opened the cage slowly and silently, being carefull about the rat, didn't want him to dodge my hand.

​

When i oppened the cage, i had a chill, i was nervous, in a good way, exactly the same as when i'm ready to do something really important, i felt the same when i passed my driving test for example.

​

Got him  by the neck in less than a sec, i was surprisingly quick and precise, i felt him struggling, i knew what i had to do, so, without a single second of doubt, i got outside and pull him by the tail while keeping his neck trapped, quick death, i was thinking.

​

However when i saw him still moving some muscles i doubted, i know, post mortem movements and sh\*t, but just, in case, i took my knife, stabbed him on the chest and then used the back side (didn't wanted to damage my blade) of the knife to give a quick strike on his head.

​

The weird  part (for most people) comes now, i took the dead body and i had some satisfaction while feeling the fast heartbeat on his chest, i had a dopamine rush, i felt good, i couldn't contain my pleasure, i smilled, i was happy with what i just did.

​

I  gave him decent burial and then came home to wash my knife, it had some blood on it due to the stab.

​

Not gonna lie, my mother was kinda shocked,seeing me with my knife with blood on it, asked me how i felt, i tried to avoid saying that i liked it, but my smile cheated me anyway, she could see i liked that, so i just said ""it wasn't so terrible"" of course it wasn't terrible, i wanted to do that and i did it.

​

She said that she didn't thought i would've done that, i felt something like fear in the athmosphere, understandable, i surely didn't looked like someone totally clean at this moment.

​

I understand it would creep some people, and i don't want everyone to know, i just shared that with my gf ((asked her to keep silence over it, no one needs to know that), she was affraid but finally understood that i'm not a danger (i mean we are together since 1 y+, she would've known if i was an horrible person).

​

Would you consider it normal or slightly anormal ? Since i doubt that it's something that can change ( just who i am) , would you consider it dangerous ? Since i'm anonymous i can say with confidence that it was an agreable experience and i liked every part of it, doesn't mean i want to do it anymore though.

​

TL;DR : killed a rat that lived in poorly condition (deaf, blind, probably insane since he tried to bite everyone), felt pleasure while holding his dead body, would like to know what reddit thinks of that.",5.2952277623884285,5.703496854570638,5.425505078485688,84.74130163127117,67.98891966759003,8.578442597722377,29.89485995690982,8.447377352677275,1.9952072883964296,2867,100,586,39,45,903,296,722,0.14800000000000002,0.721,0.132,-0.9463,3,2,3,0,0,0,180.0,3,3,0,3,31,41,5,7,34,1,51,13,10,2,7,119,125,38,6,19,17,2,13,7,2,6,3,8,2,3,42,28,0,8,28,0,2,15,18,20,0,2,50,26,107,21,66,66,15,67,0,3,5,0,60,22,0,15,34,372,149,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047817532040527334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022442597551068942,0.4675808461562773,0.5243766741450264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02674865802221916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564463675638386,0.0,0.02534078023652027,0.02073955625803722,0.022520225324014303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05991890999009732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030848415393249368,0.0274994242681334,0.0,0.028532460022926483,0.023233713188574485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021534690944256838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02817966388421032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055202783886483316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022531376841025512,0.0,0.023888901940319,0.0,0.0,0.017814539577273344,0.0,0.022724802802973745,0.12886297546207276,0.0,0.026383477482532336,0.0,0.03035063740336968,0.06818845645285795,0.019268572838388925,0.18127929068136944,0.02954615593568645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.014091589041727247,0.025873692144675088,0.03065725343137542,0.04524512929841039,0.0647151467227939,0.0,0.0,0.0534124053039183,0.0,0.028711853789503625,0.0,0.0,0.02768072394277062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02705479313339857,0.02678896299981436,0.026561670744842752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192100260094335,0.05968033316560657,0.028086853123303314,0.07411464693101717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223899963490302,0.0,0.02381648666595396,0.0,0.02264941733567059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876013081265729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03158890441743873,0.0,0.02866662626710602,0.0,0.01999915819211188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02642651875135489,0.0,0.0,0.0283022399440114,0.0,0.018276707695993908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058415399886016774,0.0,0.03739753227986763,0.023550629721922827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02583141278321253,0.02743989399617787,0.029080031757234406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03455749638247697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262497257407337,0.06434688501931345,0.0,0.0,0.04298587219252254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115562577677356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02285301605660155,0.06229234854180207,0.0,0.030192586392103926,0.0,0.0,0.021539617658382568,0.0,0.0,0.028196655028584445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626146466994001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017918785027480996,0.03456472561811154,0.026499537635738042,0.021412500328651926,0.0,0.0,0.051131995877322235,0.0,0.08989958322478342,0.05493599863948447,0.0,0.0,0.05615693800990567,0.0,0.02329487074430904,0.0,0.0,0.11136016543996903,0.042817726660636726,0.021635053955306204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025999736031059352,0.0,0.01963570351419789,0.0,0.0,0.13411934814654125,0.0,0.5243766741450264,0.0
mentalhealth,figurehead00,2019/04/09,"Got a Psychiatrist visit soon, a couple questions. Hi all,  
  
Last year I decided to try and get help and started seeing a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD. At this point I’m prescribed (all generics) 60mg Prozac in the morning, 25mg Adderall XR in the morning and 20mg IR in the afternoon, and 1mg Klonopin once per day as needed.  
  
A couple random questions if that’s okay:  
  
1. I’m not so sure about the Klonopin. I’ve always got low key anxiety in the back of my mind, like 24 hours a day, but also a lot of times it comes on STRONG and suddenly, though short of an actual panic attack. I take the Klonopin assuming I’ll feel better at some point later but I’ve never actually noticed it. I’m wondering if I should talk to the doctor about Xanax instead as it’s faster acting. Would that be appropriate/make me seem like a drug seeker?  
  
2. There are two things I’ve never really talked to him about and was wondering how to bring it up. I don’t want to seem like I’m internet diagnosing myself, but I’ve had tics and obsessive compulsions since I was a kid and I’m just now starting to read into Tourette’s and OCD and relating to what I’m reading a LOT. I’m wondering if anyone has any advice on bringing this up with the doctor.  
  
That’s all I can think of for now, thanks!!",2.6554356029532404,4.507192003773586,4.488383921246925,83.40458572600495,76.13207547169809,7.929450369155044,25.48400328137818,8.716276077567194,1.9144536505332248,1031,37,207,22,23,350,154,265,0.075,0.821,0.104,0.8607,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,14,13,1,2,18,1,11,7,0,1,6,51,38,24,0,7,8,0,1,3,0,2,7,0,0,1,11,16,0,0,11,2,0,5,4,5,0,1,6,2,10,8,30,29,6,38,0,2,1,0,9,15,0,15,21,119,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.20674012638579528,0.0,0.12730439753105802,0.10351123060089364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471026822938874,0.08814025385663385,0.0,0.0,0.07203440447689212,0.0,0.16206865727192366,0.0,0.0,0.074067045038784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050794400479413,0.0,0.08145179047557588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368435937125326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124725307813752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23441376247704446,0.0,0.13662908536620988,0.0,0.09123529181093358,0.21502858061656846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21684278650933486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284239314442486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053560180350519716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055342802122388055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16943996634188416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100104142842369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10431735439622744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634513684066679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525263301124953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011172518958293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695668547089568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854397762828308,0.16339579991879336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059928148850425,0.0,0.11280944326266255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428322223655727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20027165295304225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23732632273192664,0.0,0.21191254298353596,0.0,0.06785993682037375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441058747046183,0.192865028238012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762441029002875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14995220943413698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998355150318012,0.0,0.07964437684164602,0.170281194436171,0.0,0.09752390776112434,0.0,0.0,0.07037359456857523,0.06787413274093441,0.10407333504878204,0.0,0.0617672388925561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191789118785591,0.0,0.10347587915659476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06247884649499692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446219103394273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524793207472387,0.0,0.0,0.06821390527634354
mentalhealth,Bridge_Burner_,2019/04/09,"People are trying to ruin my life. First off, not sure if this is in the right spot. But i could use some advice--even if that's a point in another direction or just to listen.

How do i move forward?

So, i have a genetic disorder gives me shitty fine motor skills, a serious case of social awkwardness, and dental issues. I've had panic attacks for as long as i can remember (it took decades for me to realize they, and i, weren't normal). Basically, people think I'm retarded (more like I'm trapped in my body) and i have a billion triggers from being bullied and other things I'd rather not get into. Once people realize it, at every job I've had, suddenly the rare occurrence of me losing my shit ramps up to constant as the resident button pushers move in turn me into a thing for their entertainment. Or they make shitty comments under their breath tp my face; i know i can't acknowledge them without blowing up so i ignore them. Which only seems to egg people on to see how far they can push me.

This culminated somewhat recently when i was fired and (from what i gather, no one is talking, which is probably for the best) my previous employer sent some form of media to everyone in my social media accounts and god knows where else. I made the mistake of checking my fucked teeth in a mirror that turned out to house a hidden camera. They immediately started treating me like shit, like i was a tweaker. Never have, never would. Friends and family don't look at me the same. Some hide the valuables. Others make it a point to tell me where they are. It's all fucked up. Strangers suddenly look at me like im an alien. In the rare event i get a job interview anymore, they are cancelled shortly thereafter. I stopped eating out because people kept doing god knows what to my food. Ever have cops follow you around on foot, burst into the bathroom while you're using it? These became routine over night. The latest is a rumor that i tried to kill mysef (never have attempted). 

Don't get me wrong, I haven't been the best person but I'd left my previous life behind to get help. I found a place to live, got a job, and just never made enough money to get help--what they said I'd make never jived with reality and the expenses kept increasing (i was on the road for a mixture of [illegally] long days and absurdly short days that always workes out to fewer hours than I'd been promised--unless i intentionally worked slower. Which i never did...)

The great irony of this trash fire is that before i realized what had happened, I'd spent a couple of months focusing on my well-being and suddenly felt the best i have in my life. And i kept feeling that way. It seriously feels like i woke up from a bad dream that is my life.",4.945329372524498,5.885683836772982,5.880601938711697,79.27190144882218,68.9812382739212,8.774004586199709,28.31399833229101,8.998388855275968,2.2473744423598085,2147,72,405,38,36,709,275,533,0.14300000000000002,0.804,0.053,-0.9906,6,1,0,0,0,0,71.0,0,1,11,9,13,31,6,2,32,0,36,16,7,11,9,80,80,27,1,7,12,0,5,5,1,1,4,2,0,1,27,20,3,5,14,2,5,8,15,16,0,3,23,10,59,15,66,54,13,75,0,2,3,2,27,41,4,9,32,274,86,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06077609888239183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659002805846676,0.0,0.0,0.07243720702251083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650221207608873,0.0,0.08309486756031015,0.0,0.0,0.06098632023461326,0.04452521506579261,0.0,0.062152650039342526,0.0,0.22995658309066885,0.0,0.0,0.08113226622267347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893154893344856,0.0,0.05831742530033309,0.08081865767525291,0.0,0.09421101527497523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371150087136978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473934457012599,0.061016519310233615,0.0,0.0,0.07547104658812408,0.0,0.04824299934216298,0.06606991368511635,0.061540330128613124,0.06979396142661869,0.0,0.0,0.0688567080482687,0.0,0.07386361338229629,0.05218062149373242,0.07013097093411733,0.0,0.0,0.062128775996877834,0.08832166431676451,0.08008586526859615,0.056431421403833074,0.13505075658290674,0.19080496521429896,0.07006773920260577,0.0,0.0,0.05841769054678316,0.08052814014604302,0.0,0.0,0.06459005928339112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791590393251168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193083260512363,0.08427969549207583,0.0,0.0,0.07889699004545324,0.07623599755838396,0.2174462517410802,0.0,0.08080922499174417,0.0,0.12042453910060455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935943739447482,0.0,0.20636453424937426,0.17842111412928913,0.0,0.06449668516968265,0.12927826169665652,0.1226723621888154,0.08171437827284958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382266291224009,0.14626663057564893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058300759511599964,0.15526239408514664,0.0,0.0,0.33800308684105324,0.0,0.0,0.06854418360001567,0.07156483170430636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778645486716085,0.049494582418486165,0.05555109587795103,0.0,0.08569806726853188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531877286738605,0.06377672626643006,0.07631246939228559,0.0,0.13809501618877007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875072756435865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211933678310986,0.0,0.08274139923802838,0.062376754174287084,0.0694788723405544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05820435029799331,0.06649393162750965,0.0,0.0,0.14995140852962627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891253492491466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169891116393871,0.0,0.0,0.06106568289588798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068840431789732,0.0,0.0,0.0587077201280695,0.06384119594546478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970506063929874,0.046801828024337404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115141970713358,0.09918031035753032,0.1588956222511087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616822670254846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0579766754611285,0.0,0.0,0.06567277749375637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040907472247951,0.0,0.1063496732665314,0.0,0.0,0.051886346593778464,0.0798590456265544,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Garima_curious,2019/04/09,"On the other side of the Madhouse >*A house stands across the river, amidst the lush green fields, with a bit of floor beneath and a piece of sky above. The madmen nestle closely lest they should fall apart. Sometimes, they sit by the window with a warm cup of coffee. Most of the times, they have anti-psychotics. The window is the shadow line. The one that glimmers of acceptance. Are they really pleading for acceptance or is it the guilt of pushing them too far that makes us think of this?*  
>  
>*The civilization has been brutal and history owes an apology to them, more than ever now. Can words be enough? It’s time to turn the wheels of time. It’s time to acknowledge that they are sitting, right across us, on the other side of the table, under the same roof!*  
>  
>*I am not talking about aliens or the animals, with them the adjustment might take a little longer. Designs of nature.*  
>  
>*Why the ‘other’ when it comes to mentally challenged people? I refuse to use the term ‘mentally-ill’ for them. I accept that the illness has taken strong roots in our minds, when it comes to understanding them and simply acknowledging them as humans.*  
>  
>*Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Anxiety, Autism, Dementia, Depression- you name it and a chill runs through everyone’s spine. This is the medical vernacular. Then there are long visits to the doctor, prescriptions and medicines. Endless sessions of therapy. Some work and some fail. Trust me when I say this, the ones suffering from these challenges do not understand all of this. They only understand the language of love.*  
>  
>*Schizophrenia and the myth and mysteries surrounding it has long been on my mind. Who is conspiring against whom? What are these voices? Who are the people appearing every now and then? What kind of split in personality are we talking about? Why the urge to remain aloof, blank and emotionless? What is the sense in the incoherence? What are the pictures drawn all about? Why so happy and why so sad? These questions are exhausting and they never seem to end.*  
>  
>*In the words of* [*R.D. Laing*](https://www.britannica.com/biography/R-D-Laing)*,* ***“Schizophrenia cannot be understood without understanding despair”****. I couldn’t agree more. The moment you start treating the ones experiencing poor mental health as ‘patients’, you have lost the battle then and there. The journey of healing them will always begin with treating them as equal as anybody else. Make them understand that it’s just a phase they are going through, which might last for a lifetime. They think differently, experience emotions differently and respond accordingly. This does not mean that something is wrong with them. They are not possessed by some evil spirit. They are not ghosts. Just one of us with a different worldview in their mind. Don’t give up on them, by making them feel worse about their situation, if not any better.*  
>  
>*Give them hope. Feed them with dreams to develop, in the best of their capacity. Help them come forward. Once strength and confidence makes some room in their mind, they are good to be on their own.*  
>  
>*This is not what I had originally in mind about the mentally challenged people. Madness was always a never to be talked about subject, with evil myths and stereotypes. It was the urge to understand my own folks, that I went deeper into the subject, reading books and watching movies on schizophrenia. A Beautiful Mind left me unsettled and a serious research followed to comprehend the ‘what’, ‘why’ and the ‘how’.*  
>  
>*During the journey, I met R.D. Laing. I couldn’t have understood schizophrenia better had I not read ‘*[*The Divided Self’*](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/496585.The_Divided_Self)*. R.D. Laing arrived as the light in the dark tunnel when he went on to explain madness. With his experiences and conversations with the patients, he allowed me a closer view on this subject. Though criticized for his controversial views, he actually revolutionized the way mental illness is perceived in the modern world. Laing showed how a person’s fragmentation was an intelligible response to an intolerable pressure, often the pressure of the infamous double-bind. He takes his readers to the roots of madness, well within the subject’s family and the larger society. Laing received harsh comments for he blamed schizophrenia on families. However, here he made a strong point. There is no doubt about the fact that any attempt to understand a person’s mental state cannot be made without analyzing his closest relationships. In the contemporary times, it is being acknowledged that its diagnosis and treatment can be better understood with the social context attached with the individual.*  
>  
>*Without an iota of doubt, the times are changing. Psychiatry has come a long way, if we look back at the approach and wisdom 30 or 40 years ago. But there are miles to go. Modern times are full of narratives of protests by the suppressed and the marginalized communities, in terms of sexuality, race, gender and so on. They fight till they get it right. Here, we must not forget that these people, categorized as ‘mentally-ill’ cannot even rise for their cause. We are their voice.*  
>  
>*Reality check.*  
>  
>*How the mirror makes us uncomfortable in the times of introspection! For our own convenience, we break the mirror on the wall. We trample upon the pieces. But truth sparkles through the smithereens, pierces straight into our eyes. The glare is too fiery to ignore.*  
>  
>*How long would we stand across the river and stare at the madhouse in fear and disgust? Let’s look within and laugh at our ‘better sense’. After we are done mocking the sane side, the madhouse will open its doors for us. Who are we to push them aside? They left our world long ago. And now, they wait for Godot.*  
>  
>***“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”***",4.870098043271419,8.089643477640347,4.3101314689943315,80.43889678566998,75.68886774500477,7.15707938609192,27.69288876018698,8.238735603445708,2.295355662929716,4849,195,790,92,115,1455,475,1051,0.113,0.8140000000000001,0.073,-0.9918,8,0,1,0,1,0,279.0,26,3,39,20,39,58,11,6,91,0,74,12,2,16,8,172,126,61,1,8,20,0,2,0,0,7,8,4,4,4,50,67,1,5,28,5,3,21,20,31,1,4,19,16,86,27,141,90,22,137,1,10,8,1,107,66,0,20,44,549,136,15,0.0,0.0,0.046275891043154764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407141189702108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891586128518173,0.0,0.0,0.06449558314984633,0.0,0.036276806329461696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036463692338891775,0.0,0.028907298760853687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976523706551808,0.16775948752674236,0.05177126615097291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048714256657972715,0.10032990397704708,0.16339538976778656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04084349271659609,0.0,0.0,0.14863402784073887,0.0,0.04853723047104371,0.041498289241579576,0.048527974823641636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03961401984116217,0.05334205280996076,0.04200078149348914,0.048998395365266116,0.0,0.031321011993830514,0.04289485701927119,0.039954095813814726,0.04531263670891938,0.0,0.09277334517514743,0.08940827925475392,0.05336161925532297,0.023977397261789282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02477542725556221,0.09098076528701206,0.05390070275220548,0.039774343627320005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05048035695816695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05040612642602794,0.0,0.0,0.03178518379118105,0.0,0.0,0.04709958558176172,0.0,0.054717272751253807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938149873186816,0.0,0.03865430687692103,0.0,0.0,0.1030457444333744,0.048491013106457405,0.0,0.0,0.095056262199506,0.0,0.20982971831955102,0.07964311049933863,0.0,0.05176543937452578,0.0,0.042799151895229856,0.08974147477654258,0.15826886639948273,0.0,0.0,0.05165518743718159,0.0,0.047771498849260685,0.2389452234546165,0.10061201681827793,0.2872891301586171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314773736609961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699446550414909,0.0,0.05050163793863871,0.12853433084158927,0.036065679248576406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315025349935739,0.12421812297472345,0.0,0.0,0.04482801357000744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312218408883496,0.0,0.09486732857543363,0.0,0.03037899896254241,0.0,0.0,0.05091222632020502,0.0,0.08099426205955579,0.0,0.037710948571219885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04317014402962283,0.04947026939240772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330300150280857,0.0,0.04833956590608034,0.0,0.03650687288957855,0.04690041493784893,0.0,0.03356470863573596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130912744140029,0.11434520436137133,0.0,0.0,0.054229853629277264,0.0,0.0,0.09115606223941763,0.046590726216621685,0.03764684328228125,0.22121174574070127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051580247477944256,0.0,0.3455673061099637,0.285207107831542,0.04095637290048383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528089763247331,0.0,0.0,0.042637022564896834,0.08791917184799786,0.21394962311921445,0.0,0.0,0.13713596815672704,0.0,0.03452293013848546,0.0,0.04832587861142135,0.03368639815392785,0.05184723503911859,0.0,0.03053746075694613
mentalhealth,Saturdalia,2019/04/09,"Is it common to be suicidal without being clinically depressed or having any other mental health diagnosis? Does it mean a different kind of approach/treatment? I hope you'll forgive if I don't use the correct language for this; I'm not used to talking about mental health.

While my mom furtively talks about a history of depression in my dad's family, as far as I can tell I don't suffer from it. I don't have any condition or symptom that keeps me from going about my daily life in a fairly functional way. However, in the past 6 months or so, and especially in the past month, my thoughts have been preoccupied with taking my own life, and contemplating how I might do it. I haven't taken it seriously and haven't planned anything remotely close to it, but it's not going away, so I worry that if left unchecked, it could eventually lead to something bad.

This isn't out of the blue, though, I've just been incredibly stressed and anxious about work and my professional future, personal relationships, and the conviction that my neuroses and the things that are holding me back are never really going to change -- hence this feeling of ""Well then what's the point of continuing to slide more into these awful feelings if it's not going to get better?"" It's starting to keep me from sleeping, from eating as much as I should, and may soon affect my job performance, which frankly is what I'm most worried about.

It may sound silly, but without any identifiable or diagnosed issue other than ""being kinda neurotic and really stressed out"", I feel like I'm not really suicidal and just doing a bad job of dealing with stress -- like I need to just ""buck up"" and ""sort myself out"". But, if the end result would be the same (an early death) regardless of the cause of these feelings, then I know I need to do something about it -- I just don't know what exactly. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this? I want to take concrete action (maybe quit work and focus on self-care for a bit), but I worry about over-reacting or over-correcting, even though I know that my life and well-being are pretty darn important.",10.804365671641786,7.579477962686571,10.294322139303484,66.00775186567165,59.17412935323382,13.532587064676616,40.54788557213931,11.578365685549247,4.546248258706468,1679,62,303,35,16,548,208,402,0.134,0.797,0.069,-0.9892,4,0,2,0,0,0,58.0,0,1,0,7,21,17,0,3,16,1,33,10,1,8,3,83,62,39,3,12,23,2,4,2,0,6,8,1,0,1,30,21,1,3,10,0,1,7,14,9,1,0,4,6,31,8,55,47,6,40,0,3,1,0,11,16,1,16,18,217,61,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997857074233952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697343894646954,0.0,0.0,0.09246222887985024,0.0,0.057228344856130924,0.0,0.06735195313885342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689663314999058,0.06293421253736714,0.1366753106283717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238577997699748,0.0893541947697597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407797415630247,0.08658178993588203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534704985730667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687584346223043,0.1409869865895642,0.08307155874117586,0.0,0.08551122955840428,0.0,0.0,0.1432472680382472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374847913422118,0.0,0.0,0.07249090642494979,0.0,0.0,0.054058245319351085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715674535814125,0.0,0.1655343733532822,0.058470511288445125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042760946700468434,0.0,0.18605895702463834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739960859804388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129114577524417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854255397544235,0.1624382532965685,0.14549625547345788,0.0,0.08522959517433144,0.1349406000028852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892548128380652,0.0,0.1734298981684044,0.07997124962604459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222490359854923,0.08915384965997454,0.0,0.0,0.16496222420835135,0.08682524511513998,0.0,0.09585657473550063,0.13065675032473045,0.0,0.0601659315209142,0.1213749471368788,0.0631243705004003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626176788854987,0.0,0.07146441890404243,0.0,0.0,0.07737054457959401,0.0,0.0,0.0832663967961731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08705286763546002,0.0,0.0,0.15729715682209547,0.0,0.0,0.08787154197680744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538280817222416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190470552504223,0.0,0.0,0.12601747931362733,0.0,0.0,0.05793073524765292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812615666157816,0.0,0.0,0.17905159942177393,0.0,0.0,0.08506891403980885,0.12307540718976133,0.13156878221082413,0.0715366598047418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437457828413569,0.0,0.16082576820448616,0.06497626226296888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137663585590968,0.0,0.0,0.048274654018621466,0.0649652257864274,0.0,0.0,0.14717804303091533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15779247086446466,0.0,0.1191691396776498,0.2493545317683866,0.0,0.0581407642795535,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,heyfoxyfox,2019/04/09,"I am abroad and I guess I have anxiety problem. Hi all,

I am a 22 year-old female student, studying abroad for this semester. Ever since I came here, I started to think about my future a lot, probably because I was planning to live abroad after getting undergraduate or graduate degree.

In the past I had 2 very bad panic attacks. I am not exactly sure if they were panic attacks but it was like sudden veeery deep breathes, detachment from the environment like ""my soul"" is shrinking in my body, and extreme anxiety. I was in therapy after these but we didn't quite focus on this issue, I guess because there were more urgent topics. I stopped going to the therapy 10 months ago.

3 days ago I felt very uncomfortable in the dorm, felt like I was about to cry and left the dorm for a walk. This was after my boyfriend told me that his mother is shy about calling/texting me because I am so cold. I started to cry right after I left the dorm and had something like the former ""attacks"" but I somehow managed to stop it in a couple seconds.

I already have a lot problems with relationships. I can basically say that I cannot trust anyone because of my experiences with old friends. I think that me being cold is a defense mechanism.

Also about future, right now I literally have no idea about what to do. I study psychology. I cannot select a field for master's but I should because I should have internships in this field and take classes related to the field also. Next year is my last year in undergraduate. Also I always wanted to live abroad, this was my main goal in life. But after coming here I realized that living abroad doesn't do much difference, I always thought that my quality of life will be so much better than in Turkey.

I cannot sleep for hours thinking about future and my relationship problems in general. I cannot go to therapy right now because I am abroad. I feel like I can have that thing like panic attack in any moment in a day. Do you have any advice to make the anxiety less severe?",4.824138438880709,6.189605670103093,5.84160530191458,77.86226804123713,69.61855670103093,8.429455081001473,30.094256259204712,8.841846274778883,2.5086153166421212,1592,63,289,28,28,527,187,388,0.16399999999999998,0.755,0.081,-0.9822,0,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,1,1,1,5,18,22,5,3,17,0,41,5,3,1,4,48,61,18,0,7,8,1,3,6,1,3,2,1,3,0,16,11,0,3,9,0,0,5,8,12,0,1,16,6,51,10,45,40,8,54,1,0,0,0,11,19,0,7,36,206,67,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088424543447364,0.12860284663064753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004856112627544,0.17402817286012187,0.1207164739663815,0.0,0.0,0.09865797898497954,0.0,0.1664763486909909,0.0,0.0,0.050720936932712415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300942179916808,0.0,0.0,0.060567012972924175,0.26531451002169504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641548273022465,0.0,0.08057444689116458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296526115681158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624859026877069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026299453780124,0.15936131258962058,0.09356327390143557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757877882432916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656156545253447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095703528558417,0.0,0.0,0.03667788458741533,0.05182185720974872,0.13929758050756047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604343103663209,0.0,0.03789861975267633,0.0,0.08245114067807892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981971499897904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143627709932099,0.0,0.0,0.08188767168216242,0.0,0.07571184218623872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059128945104379764,0.0,0.0,0.15762761405194992,0.0,0.10247284452439766,0.21263327039651028,0.0,0.19215972790398084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233400826156794,0.0,0.0,0.04842032812987723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05789991663845793,0.0,0.10664898402502916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714602132449036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522349007781768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553265682553087,0.0,0.0,0.06924665822499487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078209282338544,0.20823000330179486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715412738652537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575942131439668,0.0,0.18584366123824916,0.0,0.05768590328114461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819483927320062,0.0,0.0600049885311265,0.0,0.07259136034550187,0.0,0.0,0.05584404578495452,0.0,0.0,0.10268691769257347,0.0,0.0,0.12129165996332965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836712412276336,0.0,0.05454028053522345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488639143219453,0.0,0.04819167080274244,0.1394401357977547,0.0,0.057587842329680075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931409783203475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970450017617558,0.04278536602941256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013816207911628
mentalhealth,GenghisKhan1206,2019/04/09,"What happens if I tell a therapist that I want to die? Basically I am depressed and wanting to die and I am going to speak to someone about my depression. So I am wondering what would happen if I tell them that I want to die, but have no intention on killing myself, just that it would be better to kill myself? Thanks.",3.368437499999999,4.855857718750002,4.889500000000002,82.80550000000002,73.375,8.245000000000001,28.425,8.841846274778883,2.248753750000001,250,10,50,5,5,84,40,64,0.339,0.539,0.122,-0.9621,0,0,0,0,0,4,6.0,0,0,1,1,3,6,2,0,1,0,7,0,0,1,0,13,15,6,5,7,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,11,2,8,12,0,2,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,3,0,41,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148595933717554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950517204396302,0.0,0.5332943645416756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734411788858358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029301124455316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789986862526393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512759233981445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994179116876868,0.15769444146978226,0.0,0.19887284997228616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30308158362063603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18574918676125465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433491621222724,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ActualYogurt,2019/04/09,"Clip from documentary about mentall illness and Christian sects offering healing. The documentary investigate The Last Reformation and how their leader ""treats"" mentally ill and what happens afterwards. (Subtitled) A  Danish documentary speaks with former members as well relatives as of and those suffering mental illness who were in the sect. In the end, the documentary goes undercover and question the leader of the sect. 

 [Link to video: clip from documentary](https://www.facebook.com/100014199695943/videos/572195229930462/?id=100014199695943)",14.988750000000005,19.707627041666672,9.576111111111107,47.78,49.41666666666667,12.577777777777778,43.944444444444436,11.855464076750405,6.993344444444443,465,23,45,14,6,125,51,72,0.14400000000000002,0.8290000000000001,0.027000000000000003,-0.8481,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,8,0,1,4,0,1,0,9,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,2,11,1,0,6,4,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,4,31,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416445114468603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412607826448812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22239112627079446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8248389634350355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056296517512801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453050186421031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kirlian13,2019/04/09,"Feeling empty after four years of gaslighting by my Ex-Partner Yesterday I (F, 31) finally broke up with my boyfriend (M, 27), who mentally abused me with gaslighting. Feeling heartbroken and empty and don't know who to talk to about it.
It's hard to let go of someone you thought was your best friend and to realise his feelings for me never were anywhere close to love.
Anyone else suffering from a narcissistic partner or made experience with manipulating?",10.015,9.215243548780487,9.241585365853664,65.31774390243905,58.634146341463406,12.102439024390245,44.89024390243903,11.20814326018867,5.25101463414634,369,20,59,8,4,117,65,82,0.211,0.643,0.147,-0.6597,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,2,0,1,1,5,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,1,16,12,4,0,0,1,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,4,8,3,16,7,1,8,0,2,0,1,9,2,0,1,5,40,12,0,0.0,0.27927736205118225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164813650291837,0.2415123656434298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473627092643642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19690514605328424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305692423390809,0.0,0.0,0.3575456059804705,0.0,0.0,0.25820837274517205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821086715389311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339592117936183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21114952587300276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953984553724507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410290613344278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127371392420572,0.22303414635481028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375398624614088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18179379380444835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971600031959552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945446801869692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712711319541814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15178927042882273
mentalhealth,Lion_TheAssassin,2019/04/09,"Are there socio-development programs for emotionally stunted/stuck adults. I am a 26 year old man, and I am irresponsible, lazy, immature man who contributes nothing to his home and is slowly driving his mom to an early grave. Heard the saying? Book smart, street dumbs. That’s me, I am trying to keep an upbeat tone but my head keeps rushing with a thousand jumbled thoughts and I wanna try to put them in writing. So where do I begin? I am a 26 year old adult, struggling with Bipolar depression disorder that went undiagnosed for years. Terrible emptiness, and emotional pain were my only friends growing up. And I think it, the pain and emptiness from my condition stunted my emotional development. Four years ago my disorder was finally diagnosed. After almost a decade of emptiness, and negative coping skills to stave off the thought that constant thought of deaths. Debating day in and day out whether that life was worth living, talking myself out of the decision to end it all by hoping that there’s something better than that feeling. Four years ago, after my diagnosis dad took his own life in our home. Shot himself next to their bed while mother was sleeping next to him, and I had to struggle against the fear, and pain and despair of my mother holding on to her dying love, in order to try to provide first aid for what i at first thought was some kind of hemorrhage and or heart attack. Hoping against all hope that the doctors would be able to save him, only to have that hope dashed to pieces when we got to the hospital. This is something that still haunts me to this day. His death made me realize that i didn’t want to die, having of course seen the effect it had on me. But by that point most of the damage from my disorder and ways I found to deal with it had already left a deep scar within me.

I consider being still here a great success,  still fighting to get better. But it’s not enough, you see. I fell into a horrible pattern of, not caring. I was asked, before dad died, to do something and I would say “in a bit” and did it hours later if at all. I had become a compulsive procrastinator. I stopped caring about my personal hygiene, why should I? It’s not like I had any friends to impress. I stopped caring about social activities, and friends. All I really knew were the four walls of my house. And it is all hurting my mother. Who pays for the food i eat, the clothes I wear, the car i use, the phone i have. And paying for all of that, at a point in my life where I should be free and independent is slowly killing my mother with stress. I cannot keep a job because I have no worthwhile skills. I go to school yes, but I’ve been in community college for close to a decade without graduating. Partly because i started going while being undiagnosed and untreated. 
One would Imagine that if I am unable to contribute I would at least do chores around the house to take some stress off her. Errr....no. I do no such a thing. I don’t know why I am like this, just two weeks ago mother had an emotional breakdown and wished my father had killed her as well. And i thought this is my wake up call, mom needs me, and I don’t want her to continue to suffer this way.  But within days I went back to my old ways. Of just not caring. And mom may die or run away thanks to me. My therapist tells me that i need to change yea, but to also recognize what I’ve managed so far and to be proud of it. But that is one voice of support, 50 minutes a week. The other times I keep hearing how much mom wants to die thanks to me. I feel i am a leech, draining the life out of mom. and I don’t know how to be everything
She wants me to be, I am terrified, and furious. Terrified I will loose her in some way, and furious at me. I’ve been making plans about moving to live in the university i am hoping to apply soon, where i hope I will bring my life into focus. And I don’t think mom will last me another year of me being like this... i keep putting too much stock on sac state being that reset moment in our life. But i don’t think this current life can be sustained for much longer. I need to save 21k in 15 months to bring that plan to fruition. But what if nothing happens? And when i return home I am still the same leech. What I need is to find myself right now, and do those things I am hoping to do in sac state right now. But I Don’t have it within me, not without professional help and dedicated time to it. So I’ll close this with this, are there any form of special programs to help young adults develop the skills they should’ve developed in their teens. Develop the self care skills to be ok, and successful adults?",4.15686549938998,5.32500454624592,4.824785339796222,85.2718612952155,71.00217627856365,7.92007781844561,27.525983447093353,8.296473431620573,1.7140800145085242,3634,125,742,54,66,1167,385,919,0.187,0.679,0.135,-0.9965,2,0,3,0,2,1,108.0,3,1,4,14,32,59,7,5,39,3,78,21,5,7,6,144,143,60,10,26,25,14,2,3,3,10,13,5,5,8,47,47,2,8,19,1,4,16,18,22,1,9,32,9,112,38,126,90,21,127,0,6,2,1,64,49,1,18,58,518,159,16,0.043961924698534334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690878120349404,0.0,0.0440215172987163,0.0,0.04851307708734158,0.035156335298411966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979123262727325,0.04609791115724008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913543345097872,0.04109846516951898,0.05001303589409457,0.041303675392340526,0.0338040064855076,0.0,0.05359756251278763,0.04855249191652215,0.037408359969701294,0.0,0.0,0.07776149973587376,0.047995035732127884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044890040355047824,0.0,0.22411056069424368,0.0,0.04650588718785701,0.0,0.0,0.047507222839243066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11340721820506244,0.04532281400255319,0.03786434132480832,0.04462042817776732,0.2281276857213962,0.0,0.15115252316118086,0.04499689275520048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04498402407313329,0.0,0.19780499269021698,0.0389372166923413,0.04542441997680759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03951014323777418,0.0,0.0,0.049469387428441314,0.0444569400712397,0.0,0.0,0.048158139665341486,0.040180402737042695,0.07478798138122733,0.053158933847442406,0.048201981324308064,0.101894621909455,0.0,0.022968291193455708,0.0,0.0499691498182586,0.0,0.03516036717966785,0.048468177179361936,0.0,0.0,0.03887538482442801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0451176177562788,0.0,0.04954828419061477,0.0520950924361779,0.05893350289565279,0.0,0.13229218472662133,0.3056487744497265,0.0432936403726874,0.10145231732222804,0.0470621496319343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043625426827033166,0.1953768930024178,0.09727471235579596,0.045779579530285455,0.04832064822131959,0.035834836149233266,0.0,0.0,0.04776475981581319,0.0,0.21736125266201933,0.06443272741534296,0.0,0.07763836985720603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03967735342856248,0.04159783610462337,0.029344926106211512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089260492880683,0.035089988873143595,0.046724568654902564,0.09695121893192797,0.13038884049775196,0.0,0.0,0.09350801130810624,0.0,0.0,0.08436530481581887,0.0,0.13839193433817915,0.0,0.059579475838561186,0.06687004946686467,0.14033576227618086,0.0,0.0,0.04760648039022492,0.0,0.0,0.03838585695627656,0.0,0.0,0.08311645717988253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838775337420922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028163134671298717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508648697734538,0.0,0.06992057404545908,0.0,0.044491814810062286,0.03503196221515379,0.0,0.04586187520009072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043993673474792425,0.04481364597443357,0.0,0.10153211225474224,0.0,0.0,0.031116476572407237,0.0,0.14043219940873078,0.07350827506531121,0.10071647242066392,0.09191709770420088,0.0,0.0,0.04988747117551925,0.0,0.0,0.03305389624426397,0.03533492982457121,0.03842465988678611,0.08094846758310706,0.0,0.05104318294004848,0.058412698685069125,0.0845070787263082,0.0,0.17450428807997692,0.05126910364829769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048843315909058486,0.08954178340133495,0.0,0.042944412512969966,0.0,0.0,0.037968987953371405,0.0,0.0,0.1037195288055564,0.1395797182661455,0.07052720850148915,0.0,0.039527049918892304,0.08150628926243579,0.07933759840091544,0.0,0.050554043816173316,0.08475545324889164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249171599063988,0.0,0.0,0.1698602289452261
mentalhealth,cryptoplatforms,2019/04/09,Nigel Green on worry Worry Can Destroy Your Life https://youtube.com/watch?v=sGpTOTZhIPQ&feature=youtu.be,30.67,40.038978,14.27,10.565000000000024,19.0,8.0,30.0,8.841846274778883,3.3640000000000008,100,2,6,1,1,22,9,10,0.5710000000000001,0.429,0.0,-0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44996744873531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29333220001203497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8434960080016595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mochi_munchies,2019/04/09,"I can’t cry anymore ? From elementary school til middle school, I would cry almost everyday, sometimes three times a day due to family issues and stress. I had often thought about suicide but always held onto this hope that I could solve my own problems as I grew up. Back then, I would deny that I had depression and suppressed all my negative emotions until I could find a place where no one could see me crying. 

As the years have went by, my mental health gradually became more stable but I’d still have breakdowns now and then. Although, In my senior year of high school , I couldn’t go one month without becoming extremely stressed and full on crying the whole night.

Now, as I’m in my first year of university, I haven’t been able to cry at all. I’ve realized that the main source of my stress and self deprecation came from my parents and now that I’m living on my own, I am completely okay and it’s an amazing feeling to just be so stable. However it’s so stable, that I can’t even express how unhappy and sad I really am at times. For example, a friend of mine recently committed suicide and although I was deeply sad and hurt by the news, I couldn’t cry even though I really wanted to let it all out.. I just couldn’t. Maybe I have just become numb to it all... idk. When I think back to the worst times in my life, I can’t even feel how miserable it really was. I can remember it and I know how I felt but I can’t emotionally connect/feel it anymore.

TLDR : for the majority of my life, I was a depressed kid who cried ALOT. Now, I am happy with my life and physically cannot cry anymore.

Does anyone relate ? I’m just wondering if this is normal is all.",3.666946107784433,4.975852904191616,5.023992814371258,82.83867185628745,72.35329341317366,8.45777245508982,26.23425149700598,8.954980946260402,1.9404087664670653,1306,43,265,26,25,436,173,334,0.254,0.64,0.106,-0.9961,2,0,0,0,0,2,39.0,0,0,0,1,24,17,0,4,12,1,31,5,0,3,6,61,48,32,2,13,9,1,3,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,15,15,0,2,10,0,0,4,12,12,0,4,11,4,39,5,35,27,14,45,0,6,1,0,6,15,0,6,26,193,54,4,0.0711293110220786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122573038092207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0591852848206729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162349055362545,0.049735268105494605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938809925126848,0.0,0.0,0.15711347135547046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135298274459021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457772931487569,0.0,0.0,0.17037290101924496,0.0,0.625057665460949,0.04587252122815698,0.0,0.12252714271303172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224573940738935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002180231262153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409407172807214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705438408504709,0.0,0.10789535054828517,0.0,0.06829529314670478,0.0,0.06501090165806077,0.06050255561895467,0.0,0.0,0.054954329251773064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040424426629463016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571847422716674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560713145993364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515202236499176,0.0,0.07064745520595778,0.0,0.0,0.07614539858053715,0.0,0.0,0.07424052073188131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0390908091455477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273453967833877,0.15072220775558834,0.0,0.0,0.06280848478188324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145895335087933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168161571775841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056774737444612415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675003996254801,0.06969162261893773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639812397919703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078980682303578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743149909159414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806114442484773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670177403253767,0.0,0.0702316135302827,0.0,0.08057564355751215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21595998050106885,0.056680851741653965,0.0,0.07420338412234631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034870737260912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056803959663708714,0.0,0.24443515636480476,0.0,0.0,0.15560784300763386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045576790427249415,0.06988418693595451,0.05646872773038941,0.12442821979122305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04195391053772394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593758393154002,0.0,0.07941333558201212,0.0,0.06856611756990072,0.0771367036301778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105644350090523,0.0,0.0,0.13741483269645466
mentalhealth,nocluegetone,2019/04/09,"Anyone else feel like when the going gets tough, they have to go through it solo? Hey y’all. I’ve been thinking about it recently and I realized I really suppress things I go through mentally. If I open up to a friend or my sig other, I don’t go too deep. It’s like I have this inner feeling that I need to get through it solo and that it’s only my business. Anyone feel that way too? 

Ex. I do not feel pretty in my own skin due to feeling like a walking whale. I play it down to “I don’t like how I look in x outfit.” But the rest of the day or for several days I’ll fixate about how bad I feel about myself and just be sad and alone for a while. But I choose to be alone if that makes sense?

I’m not sure why I do it but I can’t do it any other way. I just feel like I have to wait out the storm.",0.0997306629834256,1.3998182651933746,2.5124827348066283,97.19811636740332,81.81767955801105,5.629972375690607,18.49482044198895,6.322622252153567,-0.3538814917127073,610,13,157,5,16,210,96,181,0.07200000000000001,0.823,0.104,0.6422,0,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,0,10,11,0,0,7,0,12,1,1,3,1,34,31,15,0,3,11,1,8,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,16,6,0,2,10,1,0,5,5,3,0,0,1,9,23,8,21,28,2,21,0,1,1,0,5,8,0,4,11,102,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28499251383735297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356231469817296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924048439632896,0.14097178523910942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487747846454087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746150016493334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493436324863475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4869687116796584,0.294871613774319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629759874187256,0.0,0.14376465540475547,0.0,0.31277022500208485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360846763201465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155364972942064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183885631725948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386530183969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201731250323698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463936495678347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997310356632406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814028255377161,0.0,0.13584829395029674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15543155026455108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967195249675456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140516187065653,0.08815872100962578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184166633143217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414879277129626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pandajam_,2019/04/09,"Therapy I’ve been attending therapy (I fucking hate that word) for the first time in 5 years, since January. I missed an appointment last week because I didn’t get a text to confirm the appointment. I got a text to confirm this week’s appointment but when I showed up someone else had already filled the space. They deserve it more than me anyway but now I’m just angry at myself for being an idiot. I didn’t even want to go to therapy I just did it because it’s what was expected of me (I’m fairly high functioning) 

Don’t know what the point of this post is but I’m angry at myself and now don’t feel like driving home. 

TL;DR missed appointment, got discharged, now angry at self",2.9120559610705605,4.869501708029201,4.280018248175185,84.71131690997571,75.71532846715328,7.778345498783455,26.74513381995133,8.59863814320734,2.045545498783456,542,21,106,11,12,179,82,137,0.17800000000000002,0.7879999999999999,0.034,-0.9682,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,8,6,3,0,8,0,10,1,0,0,0,11,24,5,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,8,1,0,0,2,1,0,4,4,5,0,1,8,1,12,1,14,15,1,23,0,2,0,1,2,8,1,0,11,66,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19098161008116327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109977226694796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457366012330158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430784759714654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750690024053889,0.12363772175369328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14720906151955596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999586999005716,0.09041935693012848,0.0,0.0983568684944124,0.0,0.27683189515801643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086592846381504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285275011062846,0.17359837770997807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095112037326128,0.1410711320672129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455085214479728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360243226663854,0.0,0.16574849901870886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805446138014632,0.0,0.0,0.14316121565881154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663747357611934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5937449765440552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091563502085917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207826320974266,0.0,0.2776447226774417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144823196952962
mentalhealth,NoCalligrapher5,2019/04/09,"My Friend is Really Sad Right Now, Can You Help Me Cheer Her Up? She's an awesome person and she's going through rough times. Her mom is pretty verbally and physically abusive and I don't want to reveal anything about who she is. She just sent me a rant about how she's awful and pathetic and how all she wants to do is cut herself. Please, in the comments, help me out?",1.3543421052631572,3.5983854868421083,2.8649999999999984,91.4425,82.28947368421052,5.905263157894738,21.34210526315789,7.1686216300943375,0.6001105263157901,291,9,62,4,8,95,54,76,0.204,0.5720000000000001,0.223,0.4301,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,6,4,1,0,3,1,7,0,0,2,1,13,11,7,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,1,15,2,8,10,1,8,0,1,0,0,18,4,0,0,2,44,16,0,0.0,0.3414163074935936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371268403210123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226276764530272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637650080529891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862881642533328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33748340815244826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25160564854231465,0.0,0.3163074288679923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931570156025963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459933751193774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24608261675932105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802537570421294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399223227105552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FrostburnSpirit,2019/04/09,"Help As of writing this it feels like lying and this might be normal but I know that this is a problem for me sometimes
I'm an 13 year old INTP-T with high functioning autism/Asperger's/ASD and sometimes I just feel helpless and am unable to do anything I actually want to do. Previously I only felt like this after I had been really overwhelmed by like being at a party or something but now I do it like every time I try to sleep. I can't really explain this but the like 3 times I've tried to my parents just say it's probably me watching YT too much or something but not using like technology at all doesn't help. Since I at least feel bat at explaining this and already failed doing that another time on reddit I'll just have a list here


How I feel usually or something

Much: short term memory loss, depersonalization, fatigue, procrastination, panic&fear for never talking about this with anyone
A bit: psychotic stuff, paranoia, depression, self hate or whatever it's called


I'll add stuff when I remember.",5.891229183187946,7.008904649484537,6.652680412371132,73.94580888183981,66.93814432989691,9.886756542426648,31.933386201427442,10.035473477838034,3.277406502775575,818,33,145,19,13,270,127,194,0.168,0.7040000000000001,0.127,-0.9109,1,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,9,14,1,1,6,0,14,2,1,2,2,37,26,15,0,3,12,1,5,6,0,1,1,1,0,1,15,7,0,0,9,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,3,7,14,6,18,20,6,18,0,6,1,0,10,7,0,5,17,93,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.11733644821254414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268732452339538,0.0,0.0,0.1302794935025742,0.0,0.0,0.1260816436475302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407428346282159,0.0,0.09894689797872083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127043807663324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227780159509346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035621413208684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101307000009245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530291331291144,0.24318690088157294,0.08589915281735085,0.11544881638143233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871165443853182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118806090031193,0.1270396777135417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660805077379436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35245780007295663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755515274625687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17677979659242726,0.0,0.09273614730960142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780922187089292,0.0,0.0,0.12617117284267107,0.0,0.0,0.09144758987902396,0.0,0.1410751954599742,0.13351178198121505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963856289716533,0.11505300297248255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540570590069522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620796176838426,0.0,0.0,0.09561930984638266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543606555754258,0.0,0.0,0.0994633916491318,0.0,0.12032637754180335,0.0,0.0,0.2776988213721455,0.237839963075796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752910170233462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664398925269664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103379316124734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632695125506906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038483586049098,0.13242686817927213,0.0,0.07092039716043634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743032282854419
mentalhealth,TehFook,2019/04/09,"Question and a rant, kinda. I believe I have ADHD, I will explain why, and provide answers to any questions (as long as you ask). If any of y’all have experience or advice (besides going to a doctor) please let me know, mostly I need to know if this seems serious.

Up until a few years ago I was averaging about 100 pages a day, big books with small print. Nowadays, I can hardly read ten without losing my mind. I can hardly keep my attention on one thing, until I do. But, when I do, it’s as if I’m stuck in a trance, unable to break it. I feel the time slowly ticking by, as I try to do my work, but can’t pay attention. It’s a struggle to not glance around the room, hum, talk, move, listen, move, move, listen.

And then, this lack of control causes extreme agitation and anger, a heat and tightness in my chest (could be due to anxiety). It’s a shitty, terrible feed-back loop.

Additional info: I have bad anxiety. These ‘symptoms’ have been getting far worse the last few years (but have been around longer). My father has ADHD.

Feel free to ask any further questions, and thanks for the possible words of advice.",4.3228767123287675,5.208798547945206,5.406283105022833,82.30641095890414,70.36986301369862,7.8491324200913235,27.842009132420092,8.021203637495839,1.7321017351598171,858,29,169,11,15,284,139,219,0.17600000000000002,0.773,0.051,-0.9805,0,0,0,0,0,0,48.0,0,2,0,3,4,8,1,1,12,0,19,3,1,2,0,43,36,21,0,6,9,1,5,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,8,10,0,3,13,2,2,4,3,6,0,2,4,8,20,3,28,28,5,28,0,1,1,0,12,11,0,10,12,109,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691927111052739,0.21888064619684292,0.0992769056111722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284815412121685,0.0,0.17135190175020032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993987804561429,0.20940061501264415,0.0,0.0,0.08611732480470571,0.09351123692204016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618013470066947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11504982611867705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256120364649156,0.0894189804035388,0.0,0.0,0.07222757936659448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463173840838654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955270554356136,0.0,0.0,0.11325618309710245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058512821365239026,0.0,0.06364940065549395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20065123690356892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995463976214582,0.0,0.0,0.12309916457486506,0.09129096059397447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452258556229775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911214606717954,0.0,0.12529387831917127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130831325984642,0.0,0.0,0.35709922641321457,0.0,0.0830429533025016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589078345910227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293699679612675,0.0,0.12625765639988087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3763804558514939,0.0,0.11202541520420334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019561398421438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708160335213705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640579910013267,0.0,0.09001742530012387,0.0,0.10311004818742783,0.0,0.0,0.0744045731315622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530524796253716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07603732660181628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105816500843012,0.0,0.0,0.10795928730421396,0.0,0.08153377228819814,0.0,0.11413258279424805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442423549582204
mentalhealth,Sarisaur,2019/04/09,"I feel like I'm tailing to myself most of the time Whether its talking to my partner or family or friends, I often feel like they don't listen to what I'm saying and aren't responsive. I can tell when they're no longer engaged but I don't stop anyways. I'm clearly too much for most people, even those closest to me. Even though others say they like me, assure me that I am not annoying and actually fun to hang out with, I still feel like they don't mean it. I aways initiate in my friendships. 

​

Anyways sorry for the rant. I'm having a hard time atm for no apparent reason.",3.448666666666668,4.71557386666667,4.655000000000001,85.4366666666667,72.83333333333334,7.333333333333335,27.5,7.793537801064563,1.5977500000000004,464,17,94,6,9,153,77,120,0.093,0.65,0.257,0.9702,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,3,0,9,9,1,0,3,0,7,0,0,1,2,20,16,8,0,0,5,0,4,4,2,0,0,3,0,1,6,4,0,1,5,0,1,1,7,1,0,0,0,7,16,8,13,16,3,10,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,5,9,66,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.17031989736258968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891073941629368,0.2120777769717505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639803325898374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305559732218601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453501599606704,0.0,0.2647487329962982,0.3740611322634319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13484444851548388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563480812310695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3410737654982833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19011856982595055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830248942281686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099982171136905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944990490530618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775927051996188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19537639773180315,0.0,0.0,0.13938298799455293,0.14591814504176426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028372752867055,0.1525503105482721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147865829019698,0.0,0.2035442267055426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120777769717505,0.0
mentalhealth,rj81765,2019/04/09,"I hate myself, I'm alone and a fraud, and it's not worth it anymore I'm 23 years old and have been basically alone my whole life. I've been in two long-term toxic relationships that shattered me, I grew up with an abusive father who mentally tormented my family for years, and I have never had close friends or experiences. I'm analytical and reserved by nature. I'm not funny, I have no stories to tell or funny things to say, and nobody ever wants to hang out or be around me unless they're forced to through work, being in projects together, or some other means where being around me is by force.

This year, I'm traveling with a sports team doing analytics work. In September, I was absolutely crushed by a girl I really liked, but flaked on two months without notice. Nothing has gone right for me. I don't fit into this culture. I'm not a jock, I don't like strip clubs, and I'm just not funny. I don't know. Everywhere I go, I stand silent in hatred of myself because I have nothing to say, and even if I did, I hate myself and have no confidence in myself to where even if I thought I had something to say, I'd keep my mouth shut out of fear of judgement or being made fun of. As a result, I'm always close to the vest, I was always shit on in school or told I didn't matter. I don't want to be judged, mocked, hurt, or give people a reason to dislike me - so I shut up and be alone.

I thought this new job would revitalize me. Traveling with a team was never ideal - excessive travel is bad for my head, but the opportunity to grow in an industry I love was tempting. It's a good job, but I feel unqualified. I feel like I don't deserve this job. I feel like the other three guys who have this job are smarter, have their shit more together, and can do more than me. As I'm struggling to just get my requirements sorted out, they are off going above and beyond, always having time to do advanced independent work that will help them be full time. I fight and fight and fight for what I want in life, but no matter what, I feel unqualified. I'm not creative, I need direction and instruction to succeed. I'm personable, but any sense of intelligence people get from me is a facade. People think I know so much more than I do - I probably conned these people into giving me this job. All I do is walk around like a deer in headlights. I feel like a fraud who deserves nothing. I was almost homeless looking for a job in this industry because I love it so much. Yet through all the sacrifice and fight, I have no faith in my intellect. I know nothing. And I keep my mouth shut.

Women don't like me. I'm awkward, I can't talk to women. I have nothing to say. I'm not funny, I can't make one laugh. I'm polite and kind, but I'm dull and serious. I can't lighten up because I can't let loose. I think I'm hideously ugly. I never get matches. And when I do online, I get no replies because my first line is awkward as all fuck because I don't know how to talk to women. In reality, I'm about as average as one gets. 5'9, average body, decent looking, nothing offensive. But, I'm not tall or rich or jacked or funny - no one would want to be around me. Look at all the options out there. Again, back on the common theme of people only being around me if it is by force. All I can attract are people who are morbidly obese. And sorry if that sounds sucky, but I deserve someone who tries as hard as I do. I don't need to be with a supermodel, but I deserve someone kind and caring and who tries. Don't I? Or am I doomed to settle with someone I hate out of fear of loneliness?

So in short, I'm an idiot, an asshole, with no personality or life experiences to make myself appear likable. Nobody is with me by choice. At work, I'm the dumbest of three people despite all I worked for. I can't get a date because I guess I'm ugly as all sin. This new job is just me surrounded by jocks who I cant talk to, so I'm awkward. I can't talk to girls because I'm awkward. I have ZERO life experience. No fun memories, I've always been alone, on the brink of poverty, clawing for the little I have. I'm tired of hating myself. I'm tired of seeing people with pictures of friends all over, while mine are all alone. I'm tired of hating who I am and always keeping my mouth shut because I'll be judged and hated. I don't even deserve what I fought for because I might as well be a used-car salesman. So fucking tired of being alone.",3.342302626023809,4.265052021953903,4.953058177826566,84.51454378113655,72.68825466520308,7.625912353288863,26.63887528497847,7.934916379859209,1.483926643586929,3436,115,724,46,65,1164,329,911,0.229,0.652,0.119,-0.9988,7,6,1,0,4,0,121.0,0,0,3,13,29,56,18,7,28,0,84,20,7,7,13,140,166,69,0,13,37,1,6,7,2,4,9,5,0,8,31,47,1,4,15,7,2,12,37,31,1,9,18,15,102,25,115,130,17,87,4,3,4,4,46,53,4,23,28,477,133,19,0.0,0.05302221013375613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04481131814982403,0.2780891035330593,0.0,0.0,0.18618065505984005,0.0,0.0,0.03043198090663054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04438062627301542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918785936011035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034410492466259636,0.03736492884461565,0.24551626294092796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049707890929481836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045626276658565126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867215946475558,0.04047953072291023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132418676430208,0.04218693613256905,0.10071385971048448,0.1131363823730626,0.095909633587364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038064885459491216,0.0,0.0,0.06914849222721313,0.08274252144938941,0.1402822256730018,0.08585781465537715,0.05086565860480925,0.037534727394530065,0.0,0.0,0.0492978932407742,0.044310185508502034,0.0,0.0,0.040087798195506966,0.2650920505341602,0.04592708401483736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029995421670957294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04790650321434353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108568492521136,0.11932931868812408,0.0,0.09320184441514537,0.09837516167187736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04576057810254559,0.12643484815310752,0.15304037186437566,0.04485191411619829,0.0,0.0396029226789584,0.11273784186567115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077842913797849,0.042344153096305744,0.05974282126194986,0.0,0.0,0.048746583906823,0.0,0.0,0.045098136168531006,0.04747337453601611,0.0,0.0,0.03571954697967842,0.0,0.06579376303776423,0.06636408935070721,0.10354339498178516,0.08644092558964257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576367703949258,0.05094891889873046,0.046958286004516736,0.0,0.09097260876601046,0.03403489072196888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481957640293072,0.0781490940827478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048248776456493364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028668416385745712,0.046011127974222216,0.0,0.04804545749096692,0.0,0.03821681603864845,0.0,0.1423500724660739,0.0,0.045290053384300165,0.03566047925116948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187181138827577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375125779881386,0.034451241603793134,0.0,0.05009469603187693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046783102461935316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14387552990743824,0.039114046144787584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02973034762755406,0.057348827317336336,0.0,0.07105404494441105,0.052188935225709866,0.20573718570443988,0.0,0.042761169922322234,0.0,0.060765516349234064,0.0,0.08742977752527846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558038633964033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04023621442714585,0.0,0.0,0.04996250971485253,0.0,0.04313803582344233,0.0,0.16289505412710312,0.0,0.0,0.06357916467251475,0.0,0.0,0.08645386651050803
mentalhealth,nugget_in_a_blazer,2019/04/09,"Extreme confusion to a point of no return I first started hearing voices a couple years ago. About 3 or 4 years. I never made it a deal or told anyone about it because it wasn't more than a minor annoyance. But there was this one voice that stuck out. He was the loudest and the most confident of all of them. I ended up taking a fondness for him in a time of loneliness. I gave him a personality, I gave him a name and made and knew every little quirk that he had. So until recently, I started making friends, and I tried to distance myself from him. But after enjoying my new friends, I realized something. One of my closest friends, was _terrifyingly_ similar to him. Not even similar, more like a dead replica of him. Everything from the physical appearance to every single flaw and imperfection. I don't know why or how this happened, but it mortifies me to the bone. 

TL;DR: Made a voice a person, person became real.",3.81189393939394,5.865121704545455,5.4791818181818215,76.67793939393941,73.43181818181819,8.32969696969697,29.34696969696969,9.029198982220553,2.7707906060606065,724,31,127,16,15,246,107,176,0.068,0.843,0.08900000000000001,0.5532,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,1,6,8,1,1,15,0,6,1,1,5,2,28,22,14,1,0,7,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,3,8,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,2,0,3,13,4,20,6,22,9,5,21,0,0,0,0,21,6,0,6,15,97,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12829805586857476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120145503449234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822857015824667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16014553996561226,0.0,0.0,0.14921451228456065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819146221015013,0.0,0.0,0.0955955147171057,0.0,0.2438894602211777,0.0,0.13007768567030045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311076013415655,0.0,0.0,0.3354636433603291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798789559105614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312586106464833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07954208180025908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070977540437534,0.14506160135943005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4108527435715799,0.09661114238666106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162786830261637,0.13978510545324002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961511575366848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3791287269166288,0.0,0.0,0.13682051626602534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647391036505038,0.0,0.0,0.14290747289446154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11142338904243068,0.0,0.0,0.2048870961765148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882203843111936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843956235342798,0.0,0.0,0.1382996446676629,0.0,0.0982649601777984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060002243631694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640804325152094
mentalhealth,bluethrowaway55,2019/04/09,"My brother is violent and aggressive So me and my brother are 20 and 21 respectively and live with our parents (we commute to the same college together). My brother is very explosive and will lose his temper quickly over the smallest things. He often takes his frustrations out on me, his younger brother. Even though I’m 1 year younger than him, we do everything together, and I think he’s jealous to see that I’m doing better than him in a lot of areas, so I think he sees me as a target. Anyways, he usually just screams on the top of his lungs at me and says things that are so nasty and so rude, but tonight he started to get physically violent. He hurled objects at me that would seriously hurt if it had hit me. I locked myself in my room and piled heavy objects in front of the door. I doubt this will happen but part of me is scared he will unlock the door and force his way in and try to hurt me further in my sleep when I’m vulnerable. He used to be depressed and suicidal years ago, and last fall I found out he started back medication and seeing a therapist. Do you think he should be hospitalized, or what should happen? Do I need to be there with him during his therapy sessions?",6.447007822685788,6.03896295762712,6.8900000000000015,77.99867666232073,65.61016949152543,10.31238591916558,35.10299869621903,9.851270322608157,3.2295603650586706,942,40,188,18,13,308,132,236,0.211,0.769,0.019,-0.994,1,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,3,1,0,3,13,17,7,2,8,0,19,3,2,1,0,38,38,25,1,5,5,5,0,0,0,6,1,2,3,0,8,20,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,15,0,0,2,5,33,2,27,26,3,30,0,4,3,0,29,16,0,5,11,129,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819527596809546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120244079939356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790301313185765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455941210356808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551893290592876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299734801038383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856635150415818,0.0,0.0,0.07555702140805393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557707283215358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096334696646708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788310498489254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770048768492498,0.0,0.0,0.16179073279285985,0.0,0.12294919080800985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568758488062278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723253560616447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605813558929263,0.1566073778719423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500616797129072,0.1447880102644277,0.0,0.3457258570211816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447226047665632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20472296060008724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581887981272064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10873486081798883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538347328412006,0.16791283398720255,0.1921557632597193,0.2779964387718602,0.14208661113506124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818623986703996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490366007082104,0.15927647532914613,0.11932513032764187,0.0,0.11479116657326904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273259388110594,0.0,0.0,0.18625871129162308
mentalhealth,ShakyMD,2019/04/09,"I feel bad for leaving my job. Recently I went into a brief stay at an inpatient care center. It was in there that I realized how truly debilitating and destructive my equally abysmal and grotesquely mercurial mental health  has been. I now possess an almost palpable understanding of a need for consistent treatment in my life. 

I haven’t seen a therapist regularly since a very young age and I’ve been informed of its efficacy when done in conjunction with medication. 

However, I’m a college student taking four classes and working part time next quarter and I’m afraid I will simply not be able to manage the required tasks of each duty in addition to working on my mental health. I, very luckily, have the financial privilege of quitting my job in order to focus on school and receiving treatment. 

Nevertheless, I feel incredibly guilty and inadequate for quitting my job (if I do so). I feel as though I’m a failure for not being able to hold the job. It’s a wonderful job working at my college coordinating funding and events for student organizations. I feel like I’ll never be able to achieve my life goals if I can’t even hold a fucking job and deal with school and mental health. But it is so truly painful and arduous maintaining all three aspects of my life in addition to a semi-healthy social life. Should I feel guilty? Should I stay on with my job?",6.84950787401575,7.729904925196853,7.650856299212599,68.48486712598428,64.70866141732283,10.916929133858268,37.922244094488185,10.820120047756994,4.479260629921258,1097,56,184,29,16,367,139,254,0.093,0.8240000000000001,0.084,-0.4931,8,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,8,8,8,2,1,14,0,16,10,0,1,2,43,32,20,0,5,5,0,5,1,0,3,9,0,0,0,5,18,0,4,9,0,1,3,5,5,0,3,6,6,24,3,32,20,4,28,0,0,1,1,4,13,1,4,10,123,29,22,0.2589308442763728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642727935327472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206547980739349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799908419197196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898211027790727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832538418789983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05700712686986385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21820535811250144,0.06166008229595658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979246439248949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752313793136363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5995474549390538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139012580873647,0.0,0.0,0.24385401707627305,0.04216684380376592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869485282340107,0.2609413898460577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399798004337191,0.0665678098953843,0.0,0.09179196346476837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184022476399226,0.0,0.0,0.09346562390824603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18360321687702555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522099035770381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17470122537714308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139675670097682,0.0,0.0,0.08798246260321582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18399055210235465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489459018488819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021288909931596,0.0,0.0,0.08479941327927762,0.0,0.05032821918808138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985204685946094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243004263982312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001049558710659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359981845580102,0.18850473848467092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nnudmac,2019/04/10,"Just talked to my units' embedded psychologist today. He happens to be a good friend of mine and I opened up to him. 

I described everything I have been dealing with:

1) Waking from nightmares around 5 times a night every night.

2) Heightened/exaggerated responses.

3) Violent reactions to unexpected violations of my personal space. 

4) Loud noises overly startling me.

5) Unexpected movements from others making me flinch into a ball.

6) Drinking heavily so I wouldnt have the same nightmares.


I was told today I have PTSD. Shit sucks. I have enough baggage and I didn't want this on top of this. I feel broken, weak, defeated and overwhelmed.  

He is gonna help me work through it but I have to sustain this current situation for 5 more weeks before I can get help due to a military course I'm involved in.


Just...ughhhhhhh. It's all I can say.

Thanks for listening to me vent.",2.241477969882876,5.1320603006134995,4.094637479085336,78.90250278862244,87.09815950920246,7.135415504740658,27.040992749581708,8.150884317080207,2.500732515337424,691,32,121,17,22,232,115,163,0.102,0.7879999999999999,0.109,0.2707,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,3,3,11,4,2,5,0,13,4,2,1,1,15,24,5,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,1,6,7,1,0,1,2,0,1,2,8,0,0,4,4,20,3,22,17,4,18,0,2,0,0,13,9,2,0,8,76,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699391361544434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624396056879885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968068111301264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870067519019628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19724801824016264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608392715945777,0.0,0.17156625132505726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652344851679924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748683821926906,0.0,0.09973599932778973,0.0,0.0,0.16011566090700086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688099180761632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559089727519591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12742548001294324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582885089901603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668422440928746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22314881552776006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180925449045912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19595341195019325,0.0,0.21457664754741096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343607879000862,0.0,0.17575265483299704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131379439450724,0.0,0.3618967805084439,0.1824106223365556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259621762999385,0.0,0.15312635930224566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897556242192785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,randommmmmaccount,2019/04/10,"I keep feeling really intense mood swings of anxiety and sadness I saw my therapist, and she said I definitely have anxiety. Lately, my anxiety has been feeling intense, and when it feels intense I have very dark thoughts. Kindof like a deep sadness? This will last for about two to three days. Then I will feel normal again? I will feel happy, and excited, like I can take on the world. Has anyone experienced this before? Is this common when it comes to anxiety? Why does it come in mood swings?",2.820513833992095,5.714864608695656,3.832687747035575,82.48069169960476,82.26086956521739,7.2584980237154175,25.75494071146245,8.296473431620573,2.2194869565217386,392,16,69,9,11,126,61,92,0.123,0.6629999999999999,0.214,0.8102,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,10,0,0,0,0,15,22,7,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,4,8,10,4,7,15,0,14,0,2,1,0,2,4,0,1,10,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5310610627329361,0.0,0.0,0.12135018674767233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767825710552493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29899589474498345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192538473535296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187476390620186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387604422703241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18474718922245809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425920334737456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146640351159684,0.19577194560783864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957551543665822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17004213994821274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118056622247548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508578099912785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048799230582087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20150491226587214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377793046365256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953312033654336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431969156069261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660187006694415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,greg-jr,2019/04/10,"My First Psychotic Episode Growing up I was always a very anxious kid, and knew I was different. I wasn’t very social, my mother was a narcissist and periods of depression/severe anxiety were a common occurrence for me. 
Around two weeks ago I began to realize something wasn’t right. I was becoming very depressed, and extremely on edge. Depression and anxiety turned into voices, and extreme mood swings at the drop of a hat. 
The movies describe periods of psychosis pretty accurately. For a solid 3 or 4 days I was out of touch with my reality. Absolutely horrifying paranoid thought loops raced around in my mind faster than I had ever experienced.
I began locking my door, closing my blinds and hiding my valuables in the most hard to reach nooks and crannies of my dorm room. 
Yes, I was smoking pot heavily when this happened. However, in my defense, I had been smoking at about the same pace for a year prior with no real issue. 
The only warning signs I experienced was cataplexy-like symptoms on and off for about one month prior to the breakdown. My sleeping schedule was also terrible at the time.
Two days later I’m fine with the help of medication and therapy. This experience has taught me to not think of mental illness lightly. I lost three days, and the months leading up to the breakdown were filled with constant anxiety.
The result of the breakdown was a complete ego death, and a much happier me. 
So, moral of the story: maybe you could use a mental breakdown. Thanks for reading.",6.081043956043956,7.855590684981687,6.6338663003663,71.81321703296705,67.05860805860806,9.562564102564103,35.62802197802198,9.888512548439397,3.954642637362639,1199,60,191,28,20,391,162,273,0.153,0.757,0.091,-0.9505,2,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,3,8,9,1,0,22,1,18,5,1,3,1,37,30,15,1,1,2,1,2,0,0,0,4,1,3,1,2,20,0,1,4,1,0,3,4,5,0,5,22,7,26,3,41,7,3,45,1,3,1,0,5,18,0,2,23,135,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080373949119304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974657038040507,0.10141216708630534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27970875448317833,0.1376873234138168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216994321654938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460455294662269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778664779789492,0.13170670010112948,0.0,0.09730957707642457,0.0,0.0,0.2358034671061529,0.0,0.2099464944212172,0.0,0.0,0.12733645362389634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102455282458745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921996198024346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366927012632654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777621473923477,0.0,0.10917864929141513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816921799244291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720885125158826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304411310102904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244272100724307,0.0,0.0,0.12277915096832775,0.24564849226328345,0.0,0.1230619244144088,0.0,0.19456353644185065,0.0,0.08959427186833663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258761181436483,0.0926936266163392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399362901013007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191087089269105,0.13872372015331794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10408305128082034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376873234138168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196590775887625,0.1242391593961452,0.0,0.09382755337098836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667779288645148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122087853850241,0.13937798784059696,0.0,0.0,0.07809443006095497,0.0,0.09675742997768047,0.07106797719485104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256814512061793,0.2381139760159908,0.0,0.0,0.10526336440334348,0.0,0.3016860675427712,0.0,0.0,0.09776309099889556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848536459568292
mentalhealth,govzzz,2019/04/10,Effexor reduction I have bipolar and started taking Effexor a few months ago. Recently I was getting increasingly depressed so my doc raised my dose and I had a manic episode. He wants me to reduce my dose from 225 back down to 150 mg. I’ve read that Effexor withdrawal is terrible and I’m worried about reducing my dosage. Will I get any withdrawal effects from reducing my dose? If there’s going to be any side effects I want to wait until next week to reduce the dose because I have a trip this weekend and don’t want to be dealing with withdrawal.,4.014724818276221,6.054228457943928,5.368161993769473,77.75095534787124,72.83177570093456,9.241536863966768,33.38421599169263,9.725611199111238,3.656560539979232,443,23,79,12,9,148,71,107,0.086,0.856,0.059,-0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,4,0,9,5,0,2,0,12,19,7,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,2,0,3,1,2,0,0,2,0,12,0,12,14,2,14,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,9,48,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186659561794692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33550021441505795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968084325464452,0.0,0.15037316446761453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543151085467735,0.21246417032994133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577590821112095,0.0,0.14019330043479364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689674009817384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623458027614341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24674564926480216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435656487084238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460059114288656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854718290611928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364928095338368,0.0,0.19787092968837655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505143913951499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dragonsarekindacool,2019/04/10,"Just venting I'm starting to realized how depressed I am and it's scaring me. I've isolated myself from almost everyone in real life and most of my friends online, I have no idea how to make friends, and I don't enjoy much of anything anymore. I regularly think about quitting my job, but not because I dislike it, I just don't want to be around most people anymore. 

I started dating someone a while ago and he's absolutely wonderful. Genuinely one of the best things that ever happened to me. I think the most frustrating part about my depression is that I was niave and convinced myself that having someone who really loved me would fix all of this. I thought the anxiety and the depression would fade with his presence. When he's around I feel almost normal again, but when he's not the crash is surprisingly difficult to deal with. 

I know my mental health issues put a strain on my relationship and on my friendships, but I have no motivation to see someone. Every time I try, I panic and cancel the appointment before I get to it. Any time I'm not actively in contact with one of the three people I actually enjoy spending time with, I start to spiral.

I know I'm privileged as hell, and I know very well that these things aren't unique to me. I'm not special and neither are my mental health issues, but that doesn't make them less scary. I just want to be better, if not for myself then for my SO and my friends. They deserve that much.",6.054862327909888,6.372830890070926,6.654589069670423,76.8979411764706,66.34042553191489,9.47217355027117,32.9002920317063,9.325443323948027,2.916673508552357,1149,46,213,20,17,377,146,282,0.188,0.642,0.16899999999999998,-0.0801,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,2,4,15,22,2,3,9,0,16,4,0,5,2,58,39,24,0,6,13,0,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,0,14,17,0,0,11,0,1,1,12,9,1,3,2,2,40,13,31,33,10,22,1,3,1,1,14,6,1,7,15,159,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.09954326036361046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042227232099326,0.0,0.20428879255387572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936766079556363,0.0,0.07803440401063963,0.0,0.2023253260211168,0.0,0.0,0.0839423467959926,0.1816141499967367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062181985091910676,0.0,0.08679969658671745,0.0,0.10704913160180934,0.09021612533493603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516383255144504,0.26357316982978496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227037717214888,0.08594455714484851,0.0974712208020221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515773601473433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23642903010777486,0.0,0.05329398851812989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020367666974136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21685547500611027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151524953384976,0.0,0.2129357783735607,0.10122533613126904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681796906312306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204994054061425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206450755265967,0.0,0.13617975684803282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20559635745362806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499724730660869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994434146060104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13824397620669254,0.0,0.0,0.11968220554180822,0.0,0.11046268953730967,0.0,0.14143640224164256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254432673708357,0.0,0.10849606676700783,0.0,0.11610529864506565,0.06534773367181944,0.0,0.0,0.10951640013926638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212592308162068,0.0,0.08128567233569048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259288368058144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166013741997964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553666952472485,0.13072280810696674,0.0,0.08098146655288445,0.17844176988310548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925546087705617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841657334698458,0.12033170710679895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171575398404944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106212878542558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492444452432465,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,futile7,2019/04/10,"I'm stuck and I don't know what to do I've ruined everything. I pushed my best friend away, I stopped taking my meds, stopped going to therapy, isolated myself from other friends, went back to self harm, went back to drinking and I'm barely eating. All in the the span of three weeks. 

I put too much on my best friend and she couldn't handle it. She told other people about what I was going through so that way she wasn't the only one helping me. At the beginning I was semi okay with it, but she kept telling more and more people and that really hurt me because I felt betrayed. I can barely trust people and she knows that. It was also really stressful because I don't like others knowing since it gives me a lot of anxiety. I got mad at her but I realized that it was all my fault. I tried to talk to her but it didn't work and I think I made everything worse. 

I was so angry but I didn't want to direct it at her because I still love her, she was my best friend. So I isolated myself and I blocked her and started hurting myself every way I could think of. I told my therapist I was wasn't going back to therapy and all I've been doing is crying, and trying to not contact anyone.

I don't know what to do now. I feel so alone but I think it's for the best. I don't want to get help if that means I would be hurting others, specially her.",1.3955173347778995,3.1672759894366216,3.2538028169014086,91.18962621885157,79.59859154929578,6.200216684723728,21.134344528710727,7.1686216300943375,0.5132398699891656,1047,29,230,13,26,351,130,284,0.22,0.644,0.13699999999999998,-0.9737,0,1,1,0,0,1,25.0,0,0,0,5,13,21,1,1,6,1,25,3,0,1,3,44,56,22,0,6,7,0,2,1,4,1,0,0,0,1,20,12,2,4,11,1,0,7,10,8,0,2,21,2,51,13,25,31,11,26,0,4,0,1,26,7,0,2,11,169,71,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508720884363073,0.0,0.07342022098291914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023420466033556,0.0,0.0,0.06419550932802644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625827888407303,0.2117880835878341,0.0,0.16789910767572705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853946583154558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330261183019916,0.0,0.10084869530747488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993859908356547,0.0,0.09394429084022264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735367101836495,0.0,0.16502536017826638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04642176632674012,0.0,0.08815175418296836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28372792913187417,0.0,0.04796680315822697,0.0880722744897811,0.15653278381453736,0.0,0.07342864113280878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307627541860942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948526969530781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018249422377897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485360457522203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780533631957395,0.08286188056904861,0.0868726018593484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000077287201715,0.10197993116460584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749072732908974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221266017893572,0.06982544920172193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094795457347236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229415309978753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763134886427508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577758840051273,0.0,0.0,0.07594597091312158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498341100584397,0.0,0.07331938202737041,0.1535141178270688,0.10516775424654748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902950338825453,0.0737931964215037,0.08024576498474735,0.0,0.20998489249068453,0.10659819174324484,0.0,0.17648393503024626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754562941076242,0.0,0.12466558243776242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083035342067092,0.14574860651498145,0.07364424064020184,0.0,0.0,0.17021710933039355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683858878866293,0.0,0.09356197505260007,0.06521900965386404,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,navybay08,2019/04/10,Anxiety and panic especially at work How do you handle a panic attack or really bad anxiety to where it will lead to a panic attack. Right now I’m doing everything in my power to hold it back. I’m just waiting till I get to my car and let it out!,2.3465094339622645,3.377726622641511,5.830330188679247,76.86172169811323,75.22641509433961,9.073584905660377,22.683962264150942,9.516144504307137,1.9832301886792447,193,5,39,5,4,73,38,53,0.374,0.626,0.0,-0.9715,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,3,5,6,2,3,2,0,4,0,0,2,0,9,8,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,8,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,3,29,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060499862945231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551337097729833,0.0,0.15381332688459856,0.16701952231668668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17977710954748732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450918836600742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20454769035975173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7040882383257752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814650953130635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082741909622426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562668774882526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dozens002,2019/04/10,Cry for help I've been suffering from depression for 11+ years now and I have this strong urge to kill myself right now,3.0948,4.646035479999998,3.4450000000000003,92.6275,74.2,8.200000000000001,20.5,8.841846274778883,0.923,97,2,22,2,2,30,22,25,0.393,0.43,0.177,-0.8412,0,0,0,0,0,1,1.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,4,1,0,4,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5031727373634819,0.0,0.0,0.3945384319366864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30703732070142803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5067909692489841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39119266036547423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949846127502713
mentalhealth,Bell751,2019/04/10,"I don't know what to do, so I'm asking for advice... ok, so my family really messed up and I don't really want to get into it here about just know that my family comes from a three generation of hate from my moms side and neglect from my dads side. MY mother keeps telling me that she's is incapable of showing affection and she keeps telling me that she want to get rid of me to my dad and when I tell her to stop she gets angrier. It really hurts me and I don't know what to do about it. My psych tells me that I need to just accept it but the way I gain love is through touch and physical affection and when I don't get that I feel unwanted, unappreatied and unloved. It ends up just adding on to my anxiety and depression and it makes me cry and crash down in a meltdown all the time. any advice would really help, and if u agree with my psych, can you give my ideas on how to accept it for what it is?",3.1477755749405247,3.5840429845360826,4.645463917525774,88.33653053132437,72.76288659793816,9.26819984139572,23.685963521015072,9.466822959209583,1.520808564631245,705,17,168,16,13,237,97,194,0.16899999999999998,0.69,0.141,-0.0367,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,11,10,1,0,4,1,11,1,0,4,1,41,31,19,0,6,5,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,16,15,0,4,7,1,0,1,4,6,0,1,0,2,30,4,28,30,1,16,0,3,0,1,18,9,0,1,5,114,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26701306370357103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290840674862552,0.0,0.10451631300605647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772417462998284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176887206223508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007408222223476,0.0,0.0,0.11767329324030075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210075326147828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25759223717369145,0.0,0.06908075464318075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855197655917299,0.13106134613819811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488704603456986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157559758440313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462578758904517,0.15423087289275533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428738133901106,0.0,0.0,0.22525348159100225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330770011148265,0.0,0.09119699363550636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600113471564374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130431248979636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500970769635953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422304607318877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4776585158822374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966604008796986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116771216465686,0.10844507353921236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705314468774548,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PasserByer0,2019/04/10,"I'm forced to see my childhood abuser every week. How do I get out of this? Note: If you have experienced sexual abuse as a child then you might want to look away as this could be triggering to you. 

I was only five years old when my 12 year old cousin came to live with us for a year round about the time her mum had committed suicide. Throughout that whole year she constantly sexually abused me. I won't get into too much detail, but the things she did to me and made me do were unimaginable and something a kid should never have to experience such as oral, forcing me to kiss my other 5 year old friends in front of her and showing me homosexual pornography whenever she got the chance. That's just a small amount of what she did.

After a year or so the sexual abuse had stopped due to her moving out, and because she had led me to believe that what we were doing was OKAY because she ""did it with all of her other friends"", I had continued my life not really thinking anything of what she did to me. I'm now 17 and because she is a close family member I am forced to see her and her baby every week. If I were to ever tell anybody it would completely destroy the family and I don't see the point as she has a partner of her own now and a baby. 

It wasn't until I reached the age of 12 when I began to have flashbacks of what happened to me, and became disgusted at the thought of somebody my age even thinking about a 5 year old sexually. Even still, I downplayed what happened to me and never really considered myself a victim of sexual abuse because I was manipulated into thinking that what we were doing was normal and It wasn't as bad as people who had been sexually abused by adults. 

I've always been in denial about what happened to me, but I can see everything so clearly now. Although my abuser had experienced trauma of her own (her mum committing suicide), she wasnt stupid and seemed to know all of the right things to say in order to manipulate into doing what she wanted. She was also much larger and stronger than your average 12 year old and she had began puberty, etc. 

Despite denying that I had experienced a massive  trauma throughout my childhood to myself, it's no wonder that I am suspected to have Borderline personality disorder, have dealt with severe body dysmorphia and was anorexia from the age of 12 up until now and on top of all that I've had multiple suicide attempts.

I am sick of having to see her all of the time, but anytime I disappear while she comes to visit,  my mum will make a point of yelling at me once she leaves for being disrespectful. My abuser is constantly asking how I'm doing, etc but she knows fine well what she put me through when we were younger. I don't know how she had the fucking audacity to stay in my life and remain close with my mum and sister. She wasn't exactly immature for her age and the amount of graphic things she forced and manipulated me into doing leads me to believe that she wasn't just a clueless child, she knew exactly what she was doing... but at the same time I feel bad for her and don't want her to lose her family because she's already lost her mum.

I guess my questions are is this just as valid as any other sexual abuse case or am I overreacting? 

And should I continue seeing her, if not how do I get out of it considering all of my family are very close to her and she lives ten minutes away from me.",9.819288888888886,6.4218672251851885,9.823407407407407,69.16133333333336,61.19259259259259,13.022222222222226,38.925925925925924,10.980518767755715,4.0298592592592595,2687,94,525,51,27,896,263,675,0.155,0.7759999999999999,0.069,-0.997,0,0,1,0,10,3,46.0,4,4,0,5,27,17,5,0,27,1,71,6,1,12,13,107,112,56,3,11,15,7,2,0,3,6,3,2,0,6,34,42,0,1,13,1,0,9,14,11,1,2,41,14,102,6,92,62,15,85,0,2,8,2,71,26,1,10,48,406,136,1,0.0,0.5776921890531374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059782998400432164,0.04332339367230996,0.04507759207972277,0.0,0.0,0.03684057350228183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04458106503267839,0.0,0.0506459211619596,0.0,0.1017976062605421,0.0,0.09046702623342344,0.1651216118594298,0.0,0.0,0.12207240468457405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060175747844005326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061961289562780686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04666660546884653,0.056801018538204386,0.11708695459140482,0.0,0.04325399552075795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208876446583236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083795872283006,0.07156360098915163,0.04900401099457599,0.09128884377252487,0.0,0.048688621126467775,0.05299313650729779,0.20428389807373346,0.0,0.027392296435681238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371029537264084,0.05008352812412878,0.08491194940326552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04332836218729896,0.0,0.05967940979644469,0.0,0.14371921191006354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931880047895634,0.0,0.0,0.057363060171886936,0.0,0.0,0.0765302188333643,0.0,0.0,0.0956742969040938,0.0,0.04549300468350335,0.06060749996408313,0.059137955841854425,0.0,0.0,0.0512612993982405,0.03616195417392305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747067038985933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757900716394222,0.07964910239071389,0.0,0.08356555482878274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05307958803119835,0.0,0.0,0.28423555344595464,0.05769416178907678,0.0,0.04120221082984549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03755783395981816,0.04730315541281306,0.0,0.0,0.10242498157122758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446041805464972,0.060687930303057774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941124892878522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04626479704409419,0.0,0.04308180203444231,0.0,0.0,0.2590207672008096,0.04931850482016155,0.0,0.06120185750606087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041706239973122346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774289628068949,0.04326389118498078,0.04529237634974392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17777459953323346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04735097253083277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079735552261721,0.10413865406278894,0.0,0.043008566767973225,0.09476890331692198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516535183520504,0.0,0.0,0.04469970379147657,0.09586071627933412,0.0,0.08691116387939096,0.0,0.04870945534583551,0.0,0.0,0.06048398614457112,0.0,0.0,0.05875002327269518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038484068725561,0.0,0.0,0.2790932371230451
mentalhealth,shpiner,2019/04/10,"I just need to spit it all out Heya. Name's Alex, 19yo. New to this forum. Guess i'm committing another suicide attempt. Like 4th this year.
I'm so tired of just existing. It's been a year since i stopped using drugs cuz i felt like i was about to try out heroine and that's kinda point of no return. I don't remember being happy at any point of my life. I can't do anything cool, despite some of my friends say i can sing/make photos/play guitar etc. Like i have many hobbies but lately it was a cycle of ""take the guitar-warm up a bit-start singing-cringe out and start hating yourself even more-put it away"". 
I got a few jobs but never really succeeded in any. The only one i at least had some fun was dealing drugs, but once again, i don't wanna return to this.
I never had a gf, despite not being a complete jerk. Like each and every girl i'm trying to speak to either already has a bf, or just doesn't feel like she wants to. It feels like life is just moking at you and i'm doomed to fail each and every thing i start. 
I had a major depression with borderline personality disorder. Went to therapist once bc of a drunk promise to one of my friends. She just told me one day ""get ur ass up, u have a therapy session in like an hour"". And i started my AD and tranquilizers course. And never returned to it. For some time all of the suicidal thoughts and bad emotions were gone but i felt like i'm just a hollow husk.
I always want home, despite I'm already home.
I'm tired to try something new bc anyway i'll fail.
A bit messy. But now y'all know me.
Peace <3",0.8837123385939734,2.966546603658536,2.778450502152083,92.32494261119085,82.96341463414635,5.5661406025824975,20.927546628407462,6.794906146795322,0.3651223816355809,1218,37,267,14,34,406,180,328,0.201,0.667,0.132,-0.9844,1,0,3,0,0,1,45.0,0,2,0,4,12,23,2,0,16,1,20,9,2,2,6,55,48,17,2,4,14,0,4,8,4,0,6,2,2,2,11,15,1,1,7,2,0,2,9,7,0,3,15,7,27,16,35,31,13,35,1,4,0,1,16,13,1,6,28,155,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19244259387361465,0.0,0.0725528074662097,0.0,0.0,0.118590497537163,0.09143103393836736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175364252451841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192210127905704,0.0,0.0728037638384264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903876176050171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142177236527088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05623323788573858,0.08989369889483409,0.07510049348903615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09993244905667294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20223587086537748,0.0,0.0,0.0980820743598772,0.0,0.0,0.097244914261636,0.0575911436770172,0.0,0.14693025071807758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817631633209215,0.12458353380094216,0.16744078429408793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473250595039568,0.0,0.0455555264630538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697374055393563,0.0,0.09605457010660076,0.0,0.0,0.0928201646555214,0.0,0.08608651499017607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492638209805678,0.0,0.08586901668339378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865270850818534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047919815849980174,0.0,0.09835919183793676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231761053816725,0.3407906194539744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840153540620926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465361554057064,0.2017493170301884,0.1684259793126889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857185896178412,0.17725574567287294,0.06631534497745839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613487253578982,0.0,0.0,0.1648539690080326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765455392249501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055859028257463667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987743688521064,0.0,0.0,0.06934056465958148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212818991256098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712658461343649,0.0,0.0,0.2468668583120687,0.0,0.0,0.07289850476437185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19075325747222927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655594111194324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971450771011192,0.10123953286722588,0.057928150124730474,0.0,0.0,0.06922269181095038,0.05084381307070302,0.20043449758859824,0.0,0.08331807962022078,0.0,0.17759802193951627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530805060404404,0.0,0.0,0.1028591482805494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083017334912061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123007960490535
mentalhealth,spacepeanutbutters,2019/04/10,"Something ive been dealing with for the past few months, advice? I had a friend, they were my best friend. We did everything together and talked about our deepest shit. We lived together for a year and we were so close. They had nowhere to go and I gave them a place to stay. They took advantage of my kindness any way they could. Everything was just a lie, our entire friendship was fake. But why do I miss it so much? All they ever did was lie to me and talk about me behind my back. They used me. They stole from me. When I finally called them out on what they were doing they played the victim, I was the bad guy. I called them out and they blocked me on everything and ran away. But why do I feel the way I do? Why do I miss them so much? I feel so weird and I don't know what to do about it.

I had so much love for this person I denied who they really were for a year before I did anything about it.",0.7594571507302277,2.682012628272254,2.0457095618627754,98.30068889501244,82.40314136125654,5.696445301736016,17.906034720308625,6.8360192770164,-0.24137277486911035,696,15,168,8,19,222,94,191,0.113,0.757,0.13,0.7648,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,5,0,15,2,13,14,2,0,9,0,24,2,1,1,2,25,35,15,0,1,3,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,7,14,0,1,3,1,0,3,1,7,0,0,18,2,43,7,21,16,6,21,0,2,0,1,32,7,1,0,8,127,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003259005970508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049085913831104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095036936886478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502184375834172,0.10232114157135824,0.11110629055548712,0.0,0.0,0.1132311372041988,0.0,0.13964674284183698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717547800898703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062440359565959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718734996562487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036769883204353,0.0,0.0,0.3587790365739745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13456644143080787,0.0,0.0,0.1457695799645288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20561614076183887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562565778920974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131758322520788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856993076260954,0.07313073806196793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750155468900425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200991397005347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621367383672713,0.0,0.2934610547451678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702854162846358,0.0,0.11618991688588605,0.13902782402165315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524682099533425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659247435494054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024423109581249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183287057815042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139101682248225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784353576810366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492809863717475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124650001655151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.360219740878582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138296452817467
mentalhealth,Transcendate,2019/04/10,"My upraising stunted my development Hey, was planning on using a throwaway, but might as well use my main.

I truly believe my poor upraising screwed me over and resulted in social anxiety and depression. There are some upsides to my development (being enrolled into swimming lessons, being encouraged to play an instrument etc.), but they are the exception, not the norm.

As a kid, my mother was (although not medically diagnosed, I strongly believe) manic-depressive and was highly critical towards me. She would constantly berate me for the tiniest of mistakes, from my posture to the way I stood and and the way I ate my meals. She would even go so far as to suggest I was born healthy, but later had either X or Y problem. I never received any praise or positive reinforcement as a child. From internalizing this criticism, I always had the default mentality that I was a loser going into any new situation.

My father was not very involved in my development and there were days I didn't see him at all since he was away at work. When I confronted him about his lack of involvement in my life as a young teenager, his excuse was just that his parents didn't take an active role in his life (he left home at the age of 14) and so his philosophy on raising a child was for the child to take care of him or herself. I never really had a father figure growing up. My father had an advanced degree in mechanical engineering, but never exposed me to any of his knowledge, skills or experience.

There were various other factors also. As a kid, my parents were fine with me wearing the same clothing day after day, for up to sometimes a week at a time and taught me to act and dress like a snob. They taught me to never ask for help or to buy new things, especially since we were once poor upon immigrating to Canada; I was afraid to ask for a phone until after the end of high school. I always had beaten down clothing and never had a fashion sense at all.

On top of all that, my parents were often fighting and arguing when I was growing up caused a lot of household drama and internal turmoil. I even once told them a divorce would have been beneficial for the entire family (although I retract that statement now).

Early on, I remember not inviting my parents to my elementary school graduation and telling them as a kid that I would never talk to them again after leaving the house. While that is not exactly true, my relationship with my parents was (and still is) very weak and I truly do believe my parents screwed me over, especially socially. I noticed the gap between myself and my cousins when I went to visit them and it was outright atrocious how underdeveloped I was - my cousins toured the world, had many friends and incredible life experiences, despite being roughly the same age as me.

I had social anxiety for most of high school and despite telling my parents about my struggles, they told me to just ""not worry about it"". Despite now being in 3rd year university, this still affects me and I just want to vent out my frustrations. I'm starting to have more suicidal ideations lately, which motivated this post.",7.573763542157327,7.768814647668396,7.9439189825718355,69.35900612341028,63.145077720207254,10.541497880357984,38.27084314649082,10.230975488527342,4.1016569948186525,2487,120,416,51,33,819,276,579,0.16,0.743,0.097,-0.9933,7,0,0,0,3,0,65.0,1,0,7,11,25,26,8,3,34,0,46,11,1,7,11,84,66,48,1,8,20,13,1,1,1,5,6,0,1,6,14,26,2,0,6,3,3,10,14,16,1,0,37,2,80,10,82,20,14,85,1,2,1,2,68,35,2,10,38,336,94,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05272261995922821,0.10971480091668546,0.0,0.0,0.13449995888126284,0.0,0.1008695215261473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326761260227274,0.0,0.06194155227345498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22283493238229785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721801814687936,0.06772624519321292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124477661882232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275543713950936,0.0,0.11356742736291645,0.06691556037527972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058392664096395624,0.0,0.07352717820977878,0.08708968107169328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898052343981084,0.062151077102802224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05093583068525069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493683494572846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04419016728649085,0.20896974300057836,0.06613118725937213,0.0,0.0,0.07607209233785614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436968690599087,0.06980826211391025,0.07163099503510212,0.0,0.13970074713446035,0.032209104197208696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604965157032093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684067230850234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641555196106654,0.06643994551761626,0.06993921890526418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050865559317376,0.12734740001684744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505949654245685,0.0,0.14042239575593873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.512436909192842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314082637844876,0.0,0.0,0.0630842187661964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04223518274962283,0.0,0.0,0.07078202891001578,0.07468360352097521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20016805138673532,0.05253610237296332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090726916449526,0.07410586544837659,0.0,0.2016159652855668,0.0,0.0,0.06520450520359784,0.0,0.04666419735936922,0.0,0.1053004162211342,0.0,0.0,0.06892228909639411,0.0,0.07211456178839795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099139344022402,0.052990451382770164,0.11524800426881428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04379965214555396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03844316315047742,0.0,0.0,0.1259941115655717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388129650660933,0.0,0.10879505484328486,0.03888605889343493,0.1046611994352913,0.05288348713037252,0.0,0.05927721457012429,0.061115942213471164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799638938890726,0.06695311238585007,0.0,0.1873335173370216,0.0,0.0,0.04245548832498844
mentalhealth,a1c3e5g7i9k0,2019/04/10,"Suddenly lost all motivation? Idk if this is the right place to post this. If not please feel free to redirect me.

In the past month or so, maybe that long but i cant tell exactly when it began, i began to feel a bit more of a general downness i guess. Nothing too bad, but it did slowly grow. In the past week tho it's become more. I've pretty much stopped eating healthy and dont exercise, where as i did so every day. I find myself unable to really focus much in school, and at the moment have large 2 projects, due day after tomorrow, and I havent even gotten started.  When i would normally feel motivated to do better after a failure, and have a drive to improve myself, i now feel no such motivation.

I find it hard to get up to go to school now. And while riding my bike on the sidewalk by the road I keep impulsively thinking about riding into the road. I also find myself wishing to be hurt in odd ways, like Ill be walking and i think ""i hope i trip, hit the curb, and break my teeth"", or ""i hope a car runs over me and breaks my bones"". Its not that i want to die, but i feel like i want to punish myself, and i deserve it.

Ive had the thing where i wish id just get hit by a car and die, but more that i just wanted to get away from everything, not that i wanted to actively punish myself. Id just kinda been in that state for a while, and then got put of it. This came on somewhat suddenly tho, and idk why it would happen.

Is there any way to fix this? What can cause it?",2.5773202341137136,3.5209990480769267,4.299152731326647,88.40091973244152,74.5448717948718,7.349163879598661,22.53957636566332,7.7425588080867325,0.7938094760312149,1141,28,257,15,23,386,166,312,0.153,0.698,0.14800000000000002,0.5162,0,0,0,0,0,1,41.0,0,0,0,5,19,11,2,0,16,0,18,5,2,4,2,62,49,31,2,13,14,0,6,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,20,14,1,3,13,2,1,12,7,5,0,0,10,6,33,7,38,33,8,62,0,2,0,0,1,19,0,9,27,176,53,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848804052187249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217908253024377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972235941448944,0.0,0.08862276468583685,0.0,0.11722368538336872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387252044292113,0.11587777983259286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139629239906576,0.0,0.10903538444007906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690349910288954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203138665197188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439570801926378,0.0,0.0,0.10860808327393844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010470482547558,0.0,0.08942782864576583,0.0,0.09539210898422684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268338768532129,0.07582669231410948,0.0,0.0,0.2910310904611667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166361867396081,0.0,0.06032201094066465,0.0,0.0848901396723273,0.0,0.11692556970610175,0.0,0.09385956724221964,0.0,0.09508091186330944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21084264743821354,0.0,0.0,0.1136254475136744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434242623786657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037096342368957,0.0,0.0,0.09393087598384332,0.0,0.0,0.1158647379665449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663225493218198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472022039246835,0.0,0.15605075025672696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399501421816644,0.10184453525068374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20264596175141386,0.0,0.0,0.11089408233732466,0.11651023873558365,0.0,0.0,0.1016531221891565,0.10798290130935967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670037504043382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799623063207433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064328501519717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21483941587991048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751266910508784,0.0,0.0,0.08873809117918705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277135042370052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051493695550097,0.13602091012908152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504173304578907,0.1684985500647596,0.08513939217126403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577516319874144,0.0,0.24411234493805695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079812872455922,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dysoserein,2019/04/10,"Strange behavior? (help) Hello 

I am 16 years old and am currently
diagnosed with ADHD. So far that's the only mental illness I've been screened on. My family has a history of various mental illnesses such as manic bipolar, depression, and anxiety. 

Anyways, recently I've been behaving strange, and it's been effecting my day to day life. It started a few months ago when I'd suddenly get really angry at small stuff. Like angry to the point of tears, which isn't like me. Then, I started getting paranoid about things. I stopped talking to my friends because I belived they were trying to hurt me. I'd come home to just sit and watch the clock until my Dad got home, sitting there, scared for some reason. I sat and listened to my parents conversations from the staircase to make sure they weren't talking about me. There was a point in which I would just sit on the bathroom floor because it was the only place I felt safe for some reason. No one said or did anything to make me distrust them, I just felt this way. 
(My mood been changing alot as well, but I'm not sure if I should really group that in here, because it may just be hormones) 

Recently I've been having episodes where I get stressed out and it leads to me freaking out and pacing around. I found the only way to calm myself down is to hyperventilate into a cloth or my blanket. After words my mood completely changes and I feel completely normal. 

I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just brain dead idk

If anyone could give me some answers or help, it would be greatly appreciated. My family isn't very accepting of my issues so I can't really talk to them about this. 
I do have a councler, so if you guys think this is an actual issue I can hopefully consult her.",4.197814479638011,5.767329523529412,5.0929411764705925,81.84015837104073,71.41176470588233,8.407239819004525,29.547511312217196,8.950670267944501,2.45487330316742,1378,56,263,27,26,449,191,340,0.132,0.7809999999999999,0.087,-0.8372,2,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,4,2,20,20,1,2,14,0,30,6,1,6,2,58,52,23,1,9,13,2,3,2,1,4,5,2,2,1,16,15,0,2,11,0,0,2,7,7,1,1,16,7,40,11,37,29,6,42,0,2,2,0,22,17,0,12,20,177,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.09218012731803556,0.0,0.11352354066631765,0.0,0.08373381125441094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226226336783095,0.0,0.0,0.0660491967486278,0.0,0.07773320048755375,0.08409015039443095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274730449021686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544950733574404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19985403012090747,0.08136962623760538,0.1980807304038618,0.0,0.0,0.07541927280647623,0.0,0.0,0.1218388196290599,0.0,0.08135895979221794,0.09587573677527578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809849533321573,0.0,0.04776222526511022,0.0,0.18139438776056668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035714057938778,0.07298018977680415,0.0,0.1480556281442545,0.0906154191588457,0.0,0.0,0.0755489412878278,0.10414337977019504,0.0,0.09353105594349433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663018356430492,0.0,0.1895037945362056,0.09382090107146053,0.0,0.0,0.10112225396434438,0.0,0.0,0.19718509409216928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191319244204691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672046573550491,0.09229756362975396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610665230912768,0.0,0.09489858301983926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903885640973835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539771970017009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255154077636916,0.0,0.0,0.09912073318800106,0.0,0.06400909153033389,0.2155251144820677,0.0,0.0,0.10488755411441272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869144458954332,0.0,0.1785920013704054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815420467787533,0.19424289630899985,0.18653731393167086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985386443850223,0.0,0.09457175260031092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337196992079348,0.0,0.0,0.07897346931419554,0.10820454210196544,0.0,0.10813503129375714,0.0,0.0,0.17805639664396372,0.0,0.0,0.2277720700484958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275556681293384,0.06052667478770065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413269143281979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794006343298794,0.0,0.1499571930858344,0.0,0.0,0.0849316151433787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420450263483102,0.10327807027069726,0.0,0.060829666530239676
mentalhealth,bananasandsnakes,2019/04/10,"I really feel hopeless Throwaway acct. Names altered. I don't know where else to say this but I feel like I don't know what to do. I am 17 male and currently in high school. I have a group of friends who I have been friends with for a long time and they have started inviting me less and less to things and I start hearing about the things they did and how much fun it was and all and it really hurts me because I feel like I am wasting what's supposed to be the best time in my life. Not only that but all of them are starting to get girlfriends and boyfriends and spending time with them so even when I ask to do something they are always busy. I am perfectly fine with spending time myself and am comfortable with myself but I don't want to constantly be alone. Let me say that I am not an Incel and I do not harbor any resentment or hatred for women but I just don't understand why I can't find anyone. I think I am a decently looking person (although I do have naturally orange hair), I am 6' 1"" and 160 lbs. and I believe others do find me funny. It just hurts to see everyone else find someone that they like and who actually likes them back. I just don't want to be alone forever.

Then there's my family, I have two brothers and a sister, all older than me I love them all to death (except my older brother Jayce for reasons later mentioned) but my parents put such unrealistic expectations on me and expect me over overachieve academically. My brother Jayce used to bully me relentlessly and made my life a living hell. I don't even want to mention some of the things that he did, it really wasn't physical but it really effects me. Not to mention that it my parents eyes he could do no wrong. He was the quarterback of his High School football team and a star basketball player. He's 6' 4"" and has no issue hooking up with whoever he wants, he even one time fucked a girl from my class once that got out it made it even worse for me. I think my parents always wanted me to be more like him and to idk, be better than myself. He got in trouble multiple times in high school and even got arrested once but still my parents constantly spent way more money on him and catered to his every need.  My other siblings are great but they were much older and moved away quickly. Then my sister recently got engaged and her Fiance and my soon to be brother in law has for years constantly asked me when I will bring a ""maiden""(his word not mine) to a family event. Then everyone laughs and smiles and moves on but it always sits with me. It even got so bad that one time when we were all playing a game where the prompt was ""things you shouldn't mention"" He wrote down ""(My Name)'s love life."" Everyone laughed and I just said I have had enough and walked from the table. I have pulled him aside before this and said to stop and that I did not find it funny but he still continues.

Then my other brother Logan. Logan and me are very similar, and he recently moved back home because he was struggling financially. I have been told my entire life that I am basically a photocopy of him. I love my brother very much but I want to be my own person. Then it came up that he has been having mental health issues and has recently started seeing a therapist. That's great for him but now it makes me feel like I can't say anything about my struggles because then I will be even more like him.

I just feel so alone in the world and I feel like I never have anyone to talk to. Like the only way for me to get any attention or to separate me from my brother is just to commit suicide. I don't even know if I can express exactly how I feel through words but I just wanted someone to listen to me for once.

Sorry for the formatting issues and spelling errors  I am on mobile.",3.5347413793103435,4.958688818783074,4.555617588031382,85.61690476190478,72.84920634920636,7.541835431490604,25.99744572158365,8.104835398774808,1.5122887976646595,2961,98,601,44,58,965,293,756,0.124,0.726,0.15,0.9824,6,3,1,0,0,3,59.0,1,1,9,5,36,37,3,2,22,0,71,11,2,8,9,129,125,67,2,13,30,13,8,9,3,3,5,7,1,5,37,45,0,1,20,3,4,8,20,11,0,3,27,19,108,26,72,85,17,77,1,3,4,4,79,22,2,4,53,432,145,6,0.0,0.0,0.04905986020648671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620511407916396,0.0,0.0,0.1254951888159766,0.0,0.0,0.06837565354098889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030505280294662,0.0,0.04137095554408116,0.0,0.0939982098383973,0.0,0.047233777838323485,0.0773147143548299,0.04197642337351902,0.09193910722316022,0.0,0.04277919936472701,0.056641222272984175,0.05275912615707778,0.04446298504927043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574996975526884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629839660506817,0.0,0.04013944315779515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399441833813756,0.0,0.0,0.051946151068607165,0.0,0.2656423351865967,0.0,0.04235774419717577,0.14411596875274466,0.0,0.0,0.09478710366592917,0.0,0.17793918428869435,0.14366210988221614,0.0,0.0,0.1837969331598792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077682641854897,0.04647720762156018,0.052531846294666174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20104227484635515,0.11085382070105188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053438571581588726,0.056662091823518834,0.0,0.0,0.15935071133260634,0.050428600713843925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076380297488464,0.0,0.0,0.1574179831232236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288730027326477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140824456638133,0.1420391495274109,0.22105062830446867,0.0,0.0443925810322065,0.04449062531642554,0.04221722995958715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612187868914713,0.09514034431352976,0.03355807218647305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066404555564038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16029889890959412,0.11087081942917268,0.03727729715434423,0.038774161757955915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061948727196124,0.0681334941443063,0.0764707990403516,0.0,0.0,0.2232918912988569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779407751895414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05053893469345018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882642851116294,0.0516897167333274,0.14891758361117094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564356562790367,0.11993894596860892,0.0,0.15263894627295255,0.08012322897627497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519345286752562,0.038703135480816116,0.0,0.0562772694723016,0.142335879562431,0.0,0.0802972525472782,0.04203104809356936,0.0,0.10511393311281,0.0,0.054991246835139215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040408080138457904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837161802792613,0.13359839803210988,0.06442668914099214,0.0,0.0,0.2052049121638124,0.0,0.0,0.048038656250914885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04911008090120475,0.0523366745081055,0.0,0.0434203185237143,0.0,0.08296210317251232,0.20756903557570688,0.07980981523670293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04536417717671077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051233175538878815,0.0,0.05496637764878383,0.0,0.03237460202332425
mentalhealth,laymarr502,2019/04/10,"My wife has all the sudden stopped caring for me after new anti depressant. I’m writing this in a real state of unease. I’d like to rush into the problem as of today, but let me give you some context. 

My wife (22) has always suffered from depression, it apparently got much worse after having a still-born daughter (before we ever met). We’ve been together for about a year and just got married. About a month before we got married she started having severe paranoia and panic attacks. She was talking about hurting herself and was cutting herself. I took her to the ER for a psych eval, but she was scared of being kept so she wasn’t completely honest with them and they didn’t keep her. I finally got her to a psychiatrist but I didn’t go in with her- she was a given a prescription for lexapro and told to come back in 6 weeks... we made it 3 before it was so bad again I had to take her back. Again I didn’t go in with her, and she came out with another anti-depressant Remeron to replace the Lexapro. She was told to take half of her lexapro along with her whole 15mg(?) remeron before bed, to ween off the lexapro. Instead she’s taking them in the morning, along with SAM-E, Lysine, and Folic Acid. Since this started she’s completely emotionless except for severe irritability when you try to interact with her at all. She’s angry or nothing. She’s completely shutting me out and even telling me she’s not sure she even loves me anymore and might want to move back to Florida (we’ve been madly in love since we met, we’re 100% each other’s person, she moved to Kentucky with me after knowing each other for 3 months! I’m man enough to admit if I felt like this was a legitimate feeling... it’s not- this is bizarre behavior). She’s cut herself today on her legs... I’ve got her an appointment tomorrow for the Dr. and even though I’ve gotten so frustrated this week with her behavior I’ve packed my bags and said I’m leaving (halfway expecting her to finally show some emotion and care- she didn’t), I know this isn’t her and I know she’s not okay and she needs me, at the least, to be home and make sure she gets to the doctor and takes her meds. 

My plan tomorrow is to go in the Dr’s office and explain EVERYTHING from the beginning- the paranoia, the suicidal talk, the cutting, this new emotionless behavior and how I’ve believed this has been a bipolar onset (her fathers bipolar) from the beginning and the anti depressants aren’t working. 

I’m trying very hard to not take this personally, I’m trying very hard to man up and just take her coldness and indifference as a symptom of the illness. But even after sitting down and trying to find some common ground- “babe I understand you don’t know how you feel, but can you see this is very sudden and very different from normally how you feel?” I can find none. It’s breaking my heart and it’s scaring me to think this is just how this is going to go, that it might not be okay again. Can love just go away with chemical changes in the brain? I suppose it can but I just want her to be okay more than anything else. Has anyone gone through this with a significant other? Please and thoughts would be appreciated... this is getting very tough. 
Thanks.",3.3231964191679846,5.259588684044235,4.26760663507109,85.34452738283309,74.48183254344391,7.216535018430752,27.36203264876251,8.045849151850463,1.7739129015271191,2539,99,496,40,54,820,274,633,0.174,0.754,0.073,-0.9965,3,0,0,0,0,0,81.0,4,6,3,2,29,32,6,4,31,3,44,13,3,6,5,111,111,44,1,8,19,4,6,2,0,3,7,1,2,5,26,49,0,3,15,1,0,13,14,18,1,1,35,10,78,14,82,67,13,69,0,5,1,3,78,20,0,7,35,339,104,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05237420538784481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600196350143014,0.0,0.0,0.062423242493077735,0.04401170248093242,0.0,0.05179730657087761,0.0,0.0,0.07160755198686049,0.05913768340655098,0.14519947300745498,0.05255536502922722,0.0,0.0,0.21424182982580134,0.0709160017224384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702659922010041,0.0,0.07199083083048208,0.12835060570768048,0.0,0.06658609450446817,0.054220428971811264,0.19798583335356765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168532856598369,0.0,0.0,0.06576277548414923,0.0,0.06442554985140715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052581389282480524,0.07080319682711846,0.0,0.06503767381468456,0.0,0.16629489569322412,0.05693618532505061,0.0,0.0,0.05656974397431625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547868641895224,0.0,0.06043582828276265,0.1379035056771516,0.1150588132237544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577097655769114,0.06038133791970689,0.214634150639874,0.0,0.25170915699125346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277039365680272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458859421738064,0.0,0.0,0.06313766884915599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738253869487787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594725764029804,0.0,0.0,0.13836885794631412,0.0,0.0,0.06664829589398476,0.0,0.06436420355914327,0.0,0.06150223030944056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042745541501755,0.059558856169226085,0.04201541226472996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991626729695713,0.0,0.0,0.13354664949504266,0.0,0.0,0.10048213060981892,0.13379839552650055,0.04627086602353391,0.04667196015765015,0.0,0.1215828462224565,0.0,0.0,0.06167146728981334,0.060396183139918264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385087656167097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099200317844063,0.0,0.06909328712659292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060228625541625225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164371712215306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059873878004603476,0.0,0.12603525988018024,0.0,0.050157984027111656,0.0,0.0,0.1422169422657306,0.0,0.10413536745613396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910375760931066,0.0,0.05026692461283499,0.0526237563277502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885019776735668,0.0,0.11864739527031165,0.06542261084971744,0.28395499909561434,0.10118353261829548,0.055015573064728915,0.05795010737788936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040331785003453184,0.061841871185314826,0.0499702713791566,0.0,0.0,0.11932654621976928,0.12029081621914026,0.0699327729389357,0.17093857752032987,0.0,0.0,0.0655266173755181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596757456576435,0.07425165677528417,0.0,0.10097928787911993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027439947122416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045823767344544464,0.0,0.06414501345416851,0.04471340252664318,0.0,0.0,0.04053368272641199
mentalhealth,FiberTelevision,2019/04/10,Haircuts helping my mental health May sound weird but getting haircuts more frequently has boosted my self confidence and in turn has caused me to have more motivation to go to the gym and work hard in other areas of my life too. Try it out!,9.93391304347826,7.710425000000001,9.027826086956527,71.30304347826089,59.8695652173913,11.808695652173913,40.39130434782609,10.125756701596842,4.000165217391304,194,8,35,3,2,61,37,46,0.052000000000000005,0.708,0.24,0.9114,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,2,0,7,7,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,7,6,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,24,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34610331214853546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602357135920274,0.0,0.19147589463031284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30180861641368395,0.0,0.0,0.3581236480957546,0.0,0.0,0.2258262394234288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23797220292233756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395298991847793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514746044429362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287423759916168,0.3664655014423981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452772819647817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamathrowawayuwu,2019/04/10,"I need positivity and encouragement I’ve been feeling really awful these past few weeks. My  insecurities are flaring up, my self destructive tendencies are coming back and hard, my anxiety feels never ending, and I’m crying almost every day at work and at home. 
I have a good job, I’m exercising, meal planning and eating well, I have a great boyfriend, planning fun vacations and other good things going on. 
So why do I feel like I’m drowning all the time now? I literally feel so overwhelmed that I cry at my desk most days. 
I had my first suicidal thought in a really long time today and I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend is having a tough time at work and I don’t wanna be overbearing, I don’t have any other friends really, my family is terrible, and I can’t afford a therapist or meds.
I’m just scared of how long this is going to last, I want to be happy and well. If not for me then at least the people around me.
I just feel so unaccomplished and I wish I could recognize what I’m doing and how far I’ve come but I literally cannot.

Throwaway because my main would lead everyone to my personal social media.",2.8207589285714287,4.8406345580357115,4.897642857142858,79.89735714285716,76.1875,8.40857142857143,24.59285714285714,9.120678840339163,2.109648928571428,887,30,173,22,20,306,131,224,0.1,0.7709999999999999,0.129,0.5043,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,6,12,16,1,3,7,1,23,3,0,3,2,41,42,21,2,7,6,0,6,1,1,1,1,0,1,2,8,15,2,0,7,1,0,5,7,6,2,1,3,6,27,10,16,35,5,32,0,1,0,0,5,10,0,4,18,116,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145895602979707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248444329354275,0.0,0.09278998741979576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107977852250633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09326801049344954,0.0,0.07394002283441066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20896900382176664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684381652012368,0.0,0.26647270269917794,0.15644988149729167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241145907095155,0.0,0.0,0.10743095604966056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219587728488433,0.11590212633364395,0.0,0.0,0.11434569283648005,0.0,0.3066508074160296,0.08665284017290423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317306966614548,0.0,0.0,0.0937118570008504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786895916009684,0.20347220266809085,0.0,0.1337276532502482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291202881685593,0.10865607885222583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166830854377852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036611011861388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06666030441226628,0.09887123514281113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05925838306841105,0.0,0.0,0.21468369344694008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473088469640548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993836092318483,0.09354982310659793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578935859808218,0.08409035829192603,0.10590970957637644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23311315549332104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143698972425765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653665355451746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364450364145768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267653459414822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083230412680536,0.08058269951293212,0.0,0.0,0.09629431220688536,0.2121834566758772,0.0,0.11497303675889843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154265948593681,0.0,0.09729515975289314,0.0,0.21811670804115305,0.0,0.10944945184757963,0.0,0.13948272939642825,0.0,0.0,0.176607732453172,0.0,0.0,0.08616415768613718,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheErstiesPodcast,2019/04/10,"We discuss masculinity and mental health in the latest episode of our Podcast Hey all... We are the Ersties Podcast, a show about sex and relationships and we recently released our episode on masculinity. We discuss the difficulties faced with being a man in todays world and how to overcome the confines of masculinity to embrace vulnerability. We talk about moving away with boxing people into archetypes and instead, brings some curiosity to the table to ask what really is the best a man can get? anyways thought you might enjoy and any feedback would be appreciated :)

[https://www.ersties-podcast.com/the-best-a-man-can-get/](https://www.ersties-podcast.com/the-best-a-man-can-get/)",13.349387755102045,16.764940061224493,9.4965306122449,51.912755102040826,51.44897959183673,10.089795918367347,40.53061224489796,10.290406445055957,4.909881632653062,578,26,65,11,7,163,68,98,0.037000000000000005,0.8140000000000001,0.149,0.9211,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,7,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,9,0,7,3,1,1,1,21,11,7,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,14,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,2,15,6,3,11,0,0,0,1,16,6,0,2,3,52,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368685683230569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881576224759497,0.0,0.1890971190599364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6336523913822041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31546134719170343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139375759302019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028299554459906,0.2135126473082496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139151355910269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953330457998994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289368943429956,0.0,0.1987270362227367,0.21608560420009226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177091671726926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978364068611742,0.0,0.0,0.19077773103157405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297441350600634,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,XIII-RED,2019/04/10,How do i forget about a mental episode This happened around a year ago and its so strange it had to of been a hallucination how do i forget it as it makes me very angry,1.970833333333332,3.4563721944444485,3.84,88.90500000000002,77.05555555555556,5.911111111111111,23.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.3850111111111114,133,4,30,1,3,45,28,36,0.265,0.735,0.0,-0.8298,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,3,0,7,6,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,5,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,24,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997645798817433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014658253460481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39879814985909945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010311612801205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4544795178940903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721038878736517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904148959722266
mentalhealth,TheNippleNugget,2019/04/10,"Do I have PTSD? Several years ago (June 2014 to be exact) I broke up with my girlfriend of 6.5 years. What followed was some of the worse years of my life. I discovered that I had depression, I self harmed for the first time, had to drop out of a program I looked forward to post college, and many other things.

I've recovered quite a bit I feel. I take medication for depression and I'm able to hold a job without much trouble now, and I'm recently engaged! However, one thing that constantly follows me is a near daily thought of my ex. At nearly random intervals I'll have a random thought of her and it'll bring me anxiety. I wish I could get rid of any and all thoughts of her (and things she did/said) but there's seemingly no escape.

Is this PTSD? It's starting to take its toll. I had my first anxiety attack a few moments ago for the first time in months spurred on my thoughts of her. If it isn't PTSD what could it be? Thank you and sorry for the rant.",2.021511562323745,3.940703167512692,3.2935617597292755,90.94263254371124,78.23857868020305,7.017371686407219,25.665256627185563,7.984000788550335,1.4188705019740553,752,29,164,13,18,244,117,197,0.145,0.8,0.055,-0.9366,3,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,4,2,8,1,0,10,0,15,2,0,0,2,27,33,9,0,4,3,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,14,9,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,6,0,4,8,2,23,2,27,20,5,30,0,3,1,0,8,8,0,5,18,108,37,3,0.11489887366829113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370183781120926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781351741447016,0.0,0.17579464772839146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071405613764825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543981149839722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416486386274007,0.0,0.18347480243537667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979244630550606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058096322851561376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931987697383948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002991921555645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140194029287275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115647243529844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964861158605768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648942380832185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574852724621935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171118476283377,0.0,0.08446389258003997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785845040385682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004135999199363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4029319040104937,0.0,0.0,0.12220909532814313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344877624403543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092951404358653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045996192877114,0.11986458374926065,0.12980302258104345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861988216231354,0.08132601416367373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277930731459112,0.0,0.0,0.10578344572324044,0.0,0.0,0.2290011185655666,0.0,0.0,0.3648674854555641,0.13399691445649276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212803428621062,0.11075841404036417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170917683533842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22197332260449487
mentalhealth,MilesTheWildFox,2019/04/10,"Has anyone else had this experience on Prozac? I started taking Prozac for ocd related intrusive thoughts about two weeks ago and so far I think it's making them worse.

I figured this was normal because I was told that the anxiety was going to get worse before it gets better. But i almost regret trying it because it's going to take a while for me to recover from this episode. I'm starting to think I can't be helped at this point. 

I have these messed up thoughts and then I start to worry if I like them, it's almost like my mind tricks me into believing that I do for a second. I kind of feel like I'm losing my sanity a little. 

I'm not sure if I should still give it a chance but I really  want to wait another few weeks and see if it gets better at least... Maybe the suffering will be worth it?",3.3619678714859447,4.375453650602413,4.732710843373496,85.77007028112452,72.73493975903614,7.9429718875502004,23.471887550200805,8.344100000000001,1.233776706827309,630,16,133,10,12,210,101,166,0.123,0.772,0.105,-0.2437,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,3,3,12,1,0,6,0,12,2,0,1,1,26,36,11,0,7,6,0,1,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,15,4,0,1,6,0,1,2,2,5,0,2,7,2,19,7,17,25,2,19,0,3,1,0,5,8,0,5,12,86,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853533877293272,0.0,0.26780394488344395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402178209240804,0.10229597507247716,0.0,0.0,0.09350062770331928,0.13701266700779266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630298040349473,0.0,0.11378647291421334,0.15065744566755473,0.0,0.23653019781223156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170649228019494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080451072838448,0.0,0.0,0.06761320746702221,0.0955301000115845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20959065133195007,0.1282770872020859,0.1519931191035038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963017138959402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392495391529055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598754927435968,0.13402327840180367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959926703301904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925961047900736,0.0,0.1343404237644248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501979488122726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101790155653406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640929074789906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566490920881352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655809083731324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28394461464440224,0.0,0.10678952958140436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603018410778535,0.0,0.2010826602798644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17136565966072115,0.0,0.21231860969161792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777586629723067,0.0,0.09078758259685443,0.0,0.13062570065038012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887193774778746,0.0,0.2145253709697409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579986921762646,0.2725456496303913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Jayce-1996,2019/04/10,"Just a walk through a sociopaths life My name is Jayce I am 23 and I am a confirmed sociopath I wanted people to know what goes on in the mind of us. I don’t feel bad about anything I do, I pickup women and then date them for a while when I have sex with them I never speak to them again I have made women cry and one I dated for a while like almost a year she was a virgin I had sex with her then after I never spoke to her again. Two weeks later I found out she committed suicide I felt nothing not one bit of sorrow the next day I found another girl and repeated the process. I have felt thoughts of murdering people but who hasn’t? I have also bought the tools of the trade (plastic sheeting, electronic saw, date rape drugs to knock out, etc) I stalked someone for a week and I was going to knock her out but I didn’t get a chance to. When I was younger I killed animals I would catch slugs because where I lived had a lot of slugs I would put salt on them or kill them slowly with sticks or just crush them, I also killed an opossum when I was 14 I found it in my basement I nailed its arms to a wood plank and cut its stomach open I put it in a bag then threw it in my neighbors garbage when I was done. I’ve been able to keep my killing addiction low by hunting because that is viewed as a normal hobby, I am staying anonymous for this so no one will report me to the authorities. I am done speaking comment if you want to know more.",2.297117486338798,3.558991590163938,3.4101844262295096,93.24817281420765,75.72131147540983,6.1325136612021875,24.18374316939891,6.42735559955562,0.5010792349726771,1125,35,256,8,24,363,168,305,0.183,0.7929999999999999,0.024,-0.9947,0,0,1,0,0,1,16.0,1,1,6,0,13,11,7,0,20,0,27,9,2,1,3,44,46,24,6,6,8,0,3,1,1,3,3,3,1,3,9,13,0,1,9,0,2,6,7,10,0,4,22,9,51,1,36,21,4,43,0,2,2,4,23,12,0,5,25,182,60,2,0.1063788713576602,0.0,0.0,0.11596867189100885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652307326856604,0.0,0.0,0.17014228998218647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154752196316793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754074706008884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882191413522117,0.12969514521328676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613817563644015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685219501941725,0.06860557152123875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177250387082884,0.0,0.0,0.12336571771846523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11864056154848203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378835368588048,0.0,0.20428079787619155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499168250011034,0.0,0.0,0.05557856965837906,0.0,0.06045756409461076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945544286765792,0.4707698392648225,0.0,0.11692609130068148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075138542836897,0.05197134314100731,0.0,0.09393449236008447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043951228384342,0.0,0.10065826021212157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741233486384603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409188728084886,0.0,0.1131351365308547,0.0,0.1042287075574984,0.1020733961217012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21625522901634125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474994301007046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21388029551174492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013447248885993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338572270804925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636121927579107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445294122274334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391669986186557,0.0,0.12796068415830422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549002901653294,0.0,0.17066142785702298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151136996107112,0.0,0.0,0.06850450538603371
mentalhealth,PointBreakActual,2019/04/10,"Does anyone have tips for getting out and socializing with depression? So little context I suppose graduated highschool in 2015 and joined the navy reserves of December that year. So came home and went to college, joined a fraternity and what not. I never figured I was depressed just thought I had days I was randomly sad and unmotivated and never really looked into it. So like May-November of 2018 I got bored and deployed to Afghanistan. Deployment was cool nothing crazy happened but being in a high tempo environment made me think of my mental health so I started to take note when I got home and noticed I had way more anxiety and think I stirred up or my depression went up a little more. I’ve been home like 4ish months and with how I feel when I have my days or episodes as I call them, I guess I feel a little sad or drained but mostly apathetic about being social and what not. I have a great circle of family, friends and fraternity brothers who all love and support me and I’m blessed and happy to have that while not to mention Im starting to see a therapist but of course the VA moves slow af. But I’ve noticed when we do social things I have no drive to go and talk to girls or people who really are not my brothers. I mean on the bright side I don’t feel as sad or anxious as much as I did but still the huge sense of apathy bugs me. I’m also of course not trying to get with every girl I see because that’s not my style but I would like to get out there make new friends and talk to people of course but I don’t know if its apathy or if I’m scared or just plain shy but I’m hoping if anyone has kinda been down this road before and if they have what did they do that helped or didn’t help.",3.2993671957671964,4.6969714171428585,4.434698412698413,86.35644973544973,73.4,7.470899470899472,25.53439153439153,8.045849151850463,1.3752645502645504,1356,44,284,20,27,444,177,350,0.133,0.72,0.147,0.8611,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,3,0,14,21,0,1,10,1,25,2,0,3,3,75,59,52,0,6,28,2,3,3,2,1,1,0,3,2,13,26,0,0,9,0,0,6,12,8,0,0,17,8,35,13,37,39,5,38,1,6,4,1,22,16,0,17,18,186,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764024746803256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308704565874956,0.10793183479262722,0.0,0.13360612949302345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05823966545505381,0.0,0.0812966212535443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755596374063076,0.10927112249764487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322945557226245,0.0,0.2468627080837873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360679087938687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049569740175258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006563213994198,0.0,0.14492211187514206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476263325783397,0.0,0.14974549578018262,0.0,0.05429699471490916,0.0,0.15282247369604912,0.10533204466038318,0.10524693957260167,0.0,0.08448478999659667,0.1017030033009047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155345071233213,0.0,0.0,0.12807550686352095,0.10094216050531764,0.28750011081038923,0.09489174793004668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319847526549193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05250571583940165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002653527876174,0.2872654215656443,0.0,0.0,0.08022866732817455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622764474672097,0.09040127740172567,0.06377300008078839,0.0,0.0,0.10406993957641963,0.0,0.0,0.09628080431316632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762582892573095,0.10154279856827343,0.07023213110618617,0.0,0.1473710770500914,0.0922721263939148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167221228231527,0.21754348659220135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246937577731452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240941300498374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565116947892194,0.0,0.1522643690490863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921698256799872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524594035668308,0.0,0.07629753975034365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841648371482138,0.0,0.0,0.07183341066275928,0.15358119999355166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092810041427832,0.06347184219307796,0.12243502037192687,0.0,0.07584726529924134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486468494779575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758343823396026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17713115285772782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786813860059758,0.0,0.0,0.06152396019581785
mentalhealth,helpusall123,2019/04/10,"Relationships and schizofrenia So I have been diagnosed with a undiagnosed psychotic disorder. My psychiatrist thinks its schizofrenia. I agree with her but never talk tp her about anything. I don't like doctors and still have an overwelhming feeling that if I share what I truly think n feel i will be put back into a mental hospital. 
Okay but to the main issue. Are there people that would be willing to date a person with scizofrenia? Also to the people with scizofrenia how do you go about telling people or do you just keep it a secret. I only see my doctor and get my injection once every 3 months so keeping it a secret would be extremely easy. 
I just use to dream of having a family growing up. Now that feels next to impossible.",3.6696583850931717,6.378688905797103,4.842691511387166,77.89956521739133,76.6086956521739,8.000828157349899,25.799171842650104,8.841846274778883,2.434273706004142,591,22,100,14,14,194,94,138,0.033,0.8109999999999999,0.156,0.9415,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,12,3,0,0,9,1,15,3,0,2,1,28,26,11,0,3,6,0,3,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,7,8,0,2,7,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,4,15,3,14,18,1,12,0,0,1,0,11,2,0,2,8,79,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172284504646845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355467386909563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665597453331445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718266272288648,0.0,0.0,0.18877811749283124,0.3371863808702246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877982774933434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527901885404274,0.0,0.24985516459000315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605699758456886,0.0,0.09361155710264772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17192008212078194,0.0,0.29281322964035345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047162384068639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16599438068670824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147425998147708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12703867006809905,0.0,0.17517669546031248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541652417422993,0.0,0.12527348327701507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3425787541292355,0.14382313301170258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558447066356108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684269547679632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131256847204688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13154193038919054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323919983838609,0.14396851882508369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21108595348764955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226121904631744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340181870255792,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway019225,2019/04/10,"I lost my job As a result of poor work performance. I’ve been suffering with depression since a bereavement over a year ago, which my employer was aware of. I feel even shittier now, embarrassed and anxious to look for a new job. I wish people understood what I’ve been going through as much as they actually claimed to.",5.961557377049183,6.93514249180328,6.606680327868855,74.85788934426232,66.70491803278689,12.001639344262294,34.92213114754098,11.698219412168324,4.508078688524591,256,12,48,9,4,84,46,61,0.298,0.662,0.041,-0.9442,3,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,3,2,4,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,1,0,6,9,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,5,2,6,0,11,4,1,6,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,4,30,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.24777145407704215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22506855624464686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868366746458399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186851803791047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769969221422062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283803391056522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429819929597978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.503916561122616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132134989819788,0.0,0.2771637216623726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664697935038904,0.0,0.0,0.2452198644466953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602348423604594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100301274817782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.291974448888396,0.0,0.0,0.18484347695079087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350438392451835
mentalhealth,gabylatic,2019/04/10,"Suddenly lost all of my energy and emotions? So last night I had a terrible fight with my ex boyfriend. I got so frustrated because I just wanted to have a conversation and tried really hard not to make it into a discussion but it did. During it I was dealing ok, but then when the discussion ended I just suddenly lost all of my energy and emotions, I just couldn't feel anything, could barely walk or think like I lost my essence.

I also got dizzy and nearly threw up. I just got home and slept.

I have anxiety and depression, but I never felt like this before. Does anyone have any idea what's up with me?",3.370750000000001,5.203994574999999,4.823333333333334,81.855,74.08333333333334,8.8,25.333333333333336,9.3871,2.261483333333333,479,16,93,12,10,160,75,120,0.198,0.6970000000000001,0.106,-0.867,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,8,10,2,0,4,1,8,1,1,1,3,29,21,15,0,3,9,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,12,3,16,3,10,7,2,14,0,4,0,0,6,4,0,1,10,66,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819420430134626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901149715676156,0.0,0.12263131138306255,0.0,0.0,0.11208754383810082,0.0,0.13191566205542954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771918518379864,0.0,0.13640599624019414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12798885471849766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526529367859524,0.1380686885116732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14028218425930147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606384657205921,0.1419808256240308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105398372342068,0.0,0.1539159625777007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3846267185087651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359994876502413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079692050157054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18096250867074715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066829256880996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663183988251722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5249687905682338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700345814023203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363551075089566,0.0,0.0,0.15043345126092744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269416903592554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271565208371464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108835174631869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455082812868908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nintendopups,2019/04/10,"My friend doesn’t know how to ask for help.. help? So my friend has had mental health problems for a long time and was in care for a while too 
 
As far as I can understand he opened up to doctors/therapists (I think) and they made him take medication against his will because they thought he was harm to himself which didn’t help and made it worse

Fast forward a couple years later he’s really struggling and having a really hard time and it’s so hard to watch he’s really lost and doesn’t really know what to do with himself  but he doesn’t know how to talk to the doctor to get help because he’s terrified they’re gunna pretty much section him and make him take meds against his will which is scaring him. I think he does want medication or at least something that will help him but wants it to be in his control 

Any advice or help would be fantastic! Not really sure what to say/ or do to make it easier for him.",6.2310695187165805,5.476088390374329,6.405673796791444,82.44380481283423,66.16577540106952,10.046844919786096,29.929946524064174,9.3871,2.239447486631016,727,21,155,12,10,233,99,187,0.119,0.713,0.16899999999999998,0.9098,0,0,1,1,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,2,5,9,0,2,5,0,19,4,0,7,1,34,38,19,0,4,6,0,2,0,2,4,4,1,0,0,9,9,0,1,7,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,8,4,18,4,24,24,3,15,0,1,1,0,31,8,0,3,8,97,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110692032385974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703158958668255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10589780348956596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381040415764349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154924692123885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704870759508144,0.0,0.12533778043791802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594282382509385,0.09912862336572016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503357044444065,0.0,0.05918205405635514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20294615900979515,0.0,0.0,0.12040713034512565,0.0,0.0,0.4555592392212428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867606425954144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002457281896481,0.0,0.0,0.12365417555519125,0.0,0.0,0.21436905029074765,0.15122526865145175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582414089465804,0.22822738014460114,0.11415560252608105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327092093081978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524245313808848,0.0,0.10838986918243088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628376496263059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008165121985176,0.11340907423949978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720542747832813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842070877661225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106761324341507,0.0,0.17033896495169462,0.0910469877511448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152220975094098,0.0,0.1451654212961226,0.0,0.08992852035207177,0.13210433627726545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792434945059442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362628305189506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543795918433275,0.08046804666353757,0.0,0.0,0.07294605395173027
mentalhealth,Sudadbetch,2019/04/10,"Is it OCD? I went to my therapist yesterday, and we talked for a bit suddenly she asked me if someone pointed out the fact that I don’t look at them while talking, and I said yes, actually a lot of people asked me before why I don’t look at them while talking? I look at the floor/right side or at anything but their face and it actually makes me so nervous that I would cry, so I told her about it and that it’s a pretty regular thing, she asked me questions that are so random then she called someone and asked them if they had a (possibly OCD) test (I couldn’t really hear what she said but it was a short name) but they didn’t have it. 
I do have anxiety and I thought that this problem was because of it, but is it actually something that people with OCD struggle with?",3.652414772727276,4.398257093750004,4.832727272727271,86.32136363636366,71.8125,8.318181818181818,28.29545454545455,8.575989854853784,1.8315625000000004,605,22,133,10,11,200,87,160,0.112,0.8490000000000001,0.039,-0.907,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,6,0,4,3,0,2,7,1,14,1,1,1,1,27,28,19,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,17,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,9,6,27,0,12,17,2,14,0,0,3,0,26,8,0,6,5,97,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.3629167228997293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483310764762944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201287125629396,0.0,0.4635632487796577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556809026388463,0.0,0.1054853314323696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533799010201186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658242138120862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361700502549843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397178915083556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122988667793197,0.0,0.0,0.10539085663457866,0.0,0.0,0.08274779377335086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718838469919797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171872683032016,0.13975223850345525,0.0,0.12611726639659104,0.0,0.11861804078391586,0.0,0.0,0.13886949574396085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794153391750557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586568044299144,0.23583875737402765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100707761026664,0.09543453674432373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959543700234752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989158134735126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439332564740897,0.0823570304290843,0.0,0.0,0.0984145933122716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845414714263355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491706591299783,0.11185939278208387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806138537608553,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,msy202,2019/04/10,"help y’all i want to scream and shout, i want all my problems to disappear, i want to stop feeling frustrated. i want to start living. i know i’m not happy in this position - staying here, stuck in this place, all lonely and curled up in bed. i want to break out of my shell. i want to be free. there’s so much in the world to uncover, and i want to see it all. i want to stop feeling like crap.  i want to ignite some sort of change — euphoria, anything. i believe i can — i can make a change in myself before things start to really go downhill. but everything seems set in stone. and then it doesn’t, but then it does. there’s no colour in my days anymore. all they are is just fighting to be okay. i really envy people who are fine. or anyone that has a life and isn’t confined to their room all day. why the fuck, do i get to live like this? why am i fucking weak like this? why is it so lonely in here? fighting back my pain is so hard, i think i’ve become numb to it all. i want someone to know how much i’ve been hurting...and i want someone to tell me that i’m taking it well. haven’t i?",0.2117948717948721,2.095867636752139,2.1808760683760693,96.79259615384615,84.17094017094017,5.267521367521368,18.724358974358974,6.42735559955562,-0.2001846153846154,833,21,199,8,24,277,120,234,0.211,0.639,0.15,-0.9754,0,4,0,0,4,0,34.0,0,1,2,0,11,21,6,0,4,1,16,7,1,3,6,43,45,14,0,12,5,0,3,3,0,0,4,2,2,0,14,6,0,3,6,0,1,2,5,13,1,0,2,7,29,9,29,41,9,27,0,2,2,2,8,13,3,4,12,124,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960874167351434,0.07022945505467637,0.0,0.08265294021172515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772315792446158,0.0,0.0,0.11092725439459526,0.08546639933493423,0.11316063398776813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21250280573872093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955000708970246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789505967443252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902683165601238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157019972047043,0.07175381631041332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185708926092346,0.052475359753030464,0.0,0.0570819372495007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691944338705593,0.08997383475735524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732230839264168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039756408329804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094320870292893,0.14720862438179322,0.0,0.1773793859795954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704397560007859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14766880273029975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687443759793216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963192562778145,0.0,0.10493763305647487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961067923312675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868790378890102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800370739212219,0.091436115921513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020369178534545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218282837245266,0.10705487072687236,0.0,0.16794341147921335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551781201517092,0.0,0.08778832669630435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672737104878178,0.06435741229056127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6516583554048715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030694303722786,0.0,0.2718923873981352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Kahiro_,2019/04/10,"In Between Stages Hi I’m 19 and I finished high school in December 2018. I am waiting to go to university in August later this year and I have already been accepted. In high school I was never lazy but extremely motivated to everything I possibly could, most of the time I would wake up at 4:30am and go to sleep at 11pm without stopping. Now that I’ve left and that I am at home and have free time I’ve become extremely lazy and apathetic towards everything in life. I’m not unhappy about my life and I’m actually quite excited for university but I’m also feeling completely trapped doing nothing right now. Considering how active I used to be and how unmotivated for life I am now, I’m wondering if this is normal for most people my age or if I should be worried. And also wondering if anyone has advice for me to get out of this mindset and back to where I was at school.",3.6330857142857127,5.318018451428571,5.7375714285714325,76.1909285714286,73.05714285714284,9.342857142857145,30.214285714285715,9.784248007369934,3.1282000000000005,699,31,133,19,14,244,98,175,0.077,0.77,0.153,0.9007,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,10,3,0,0,1,0,16,5,2,4,1,36,29,20,0,7,8,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,5,11,0,2,5,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,3,1,14,4,28,21,2,33,0,0,0,0,1,17,0,8,13,93,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.13454042804286284,0.0,0.0,0.13472416328410036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214206420244591,0.22050786069347686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640133357365188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601288629370306,0.0,0.0,0.15226567321328896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455320810977162,0.0,0.0,0.11007731862916888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24781585131394399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069710797960574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203095419166906,0.0,0.15670845999118904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29133270826549496,0.13829402483185446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979526327362214,0.0,0.2921432291464519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633320800267666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508252021737974,0.1322891928565832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955811273858447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554267808711425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664083947501938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117739523117409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185929002068231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796874360809772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526480462435737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16078525064113994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907470211595846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290096592393752,0.29902648083254946,0.0,0.1400128406971322,0.0,0.09793830706847444,0.0,0.0,0.0887832292143276
mentalhealth,narcgod,2019/04/10,"Can never genuinely say anything im going through because my mind suddenly decides to back track on everything? I go through things with myself and my mental health like everybody else, and alot of the time when i go to open my mouth about it my brain second guesses everything and kind of pretends for a second that nothing was wrong to begin with? It really discourages me from actually attempting to go out and try to speak to a therapist or someone about everything. The issues are genuine, but my mind trys to make me think im an attention seeker or liar whenever i try to speak on it. 

Does anybody else experience this?",8.60923076923077,8.010488512820514,8.656025641025643,67.73480769230773,61.30769230769231,12.586324786324788,40.01282051282049,11.855464076750405,4.985656410256411,504,24,85,14,6,165,78,117,0.07200000000000001,0.898,0.03,-0.7101,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,6,0,3,3,2,1,1,21,11,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,8,0,1,3,1,0,4,1,3,0,2,1,3,11,2,21,10,1,14,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,4,7,59,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.14611019719287704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321108228115607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151294369037107,0.0,0.09127109229129614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714284042546312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102553160132271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25015238475676743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40369006658131257,0.14645997572626693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403691265767361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493918809545333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591508862566885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234578181959803,0.1562742090922773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15591575558565818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314816986441137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994273371227587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508877859734455,0.0,0.30235954051971264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154773045948138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366536762172338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959177971268013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906748866127838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268616761811565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17384249740279364,0.0994707699887774,0.0959378625953556,0.0,0.0,0.08730596824546581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033071653162244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370100207052926,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,retardedsucc,2019/04/10,"Violent daydreams I've recently caught myself daydreaming multiple times about being tortured or brutally beaten by someone I have unresolved issues/quarrel with (most of the time), for then to overpower them and straight up kill them in self defense. 

It's been going on for a few weeks now, is there cause for concern or should I just ignore it?

What I find especially weird is that 2018 was a very rough year, and 2019 so far is marginally better. Why am I having these thoughts now? Nothing sexual about this btw",7.197482269503546,8.269562861702134,6.7136170212765975,74.83333333333334,64.0,10.09645390070922,34.815602836879435,10.125756701596842,3.6804241134751785,415,18,69,9,6,129,79,94,0.227,0.715,0.057,-0.963,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,2,2,7,9,6,0,3,0,10,0,0,1,0,14,13,6,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,4,1,7,1,12,7,2,15,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,4,8,50,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505008433703285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909632726443694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588742451412689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609705858874717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31336069348584816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27177433664911554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796631868503082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954788283453723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23998649403877198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485919887991368,0.3303165125765831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337008726411582,0.0,0.0,0.2271963024142608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555780865583948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823958760671319
mentalhealth,pm_me_ur_human_suit,2019/04/10,"29, Male, and new to dealing with anxiety I've long dealt with a touch of social nervousness, but otherwise I've been privileged to not deal with any kind of mental disorders. For the last few months, work has been incredibly stressful, (Retail management) and it's taking its toll on me. The only thing worse than being at work, is being at home, where I feel a constant sense of anxiety. This includes an elevated heart-rate, and fatigue. There are times when it keeps me from sleeping, but more times than not, I'll climb into bed after work and just stay there until the next day. Even when I'm not particularly worried about work the next day, I'm still racked with nervousness and fatigue. I'm new to this, and it's ruining me.",5.894277777777778,6.698538221428574,6.1538095238095245,78.64896825396826,66.78571428571428,9.650793650793652,29.841269841269842,9.725611199111238,2.6680317460317458,581,20,110,12,9,186,90,140,0.165,0.7909999999999999,0.044,-0.9416,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,5,9,8,0,3,7,0,7,3,1,0,0,19,13,11,0,0,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,7,11,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,6,0,0,2,2,4,2,21,9,2,24,0,3,0,0,4,5,0,0,17,67,11,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009832404161692,0.0,0.22520906628441514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906657806250768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18985847887288146,0.3035052146047318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869936252375595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722156633844736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07442671772449523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442796257978174,0.0,0.0,0.14764958442974646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308345634411934,0.0,0.1532819774724376,0.0,0.1199843817639584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13026382342563045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833894190854374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749043873159715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843256180620207,0.3130892207810587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194918696424322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730229800454567,0.15004777988768234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15689134542511762,0.1175509116020474,0.0,0.1686125147400554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067306933515576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779047837284954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716623365937986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4286417492918139,0.14948467780075853,0.1500052940246475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,seaglass606,2019/04/10,"I’m 24(F) and I just got diagnosed with ADHD Well, that was a shock. 

I reached out to a psychology office because for years now my life just hasn’t really seemed to be the way it should. 

I had neuropsychological testing done and the results were not what I expected: 

ADHD
Depression 
PTSD (from a traumatic relationship) 

I wonder to myself why I waited this long. Why did I go all of this time without being diagnosed? 

I feel like I struggled for so long when I didn’t have to be struggling. 

I’m hoping the diagnosis will help me improve my life and my everyday happiness and functionality. 

I don’t really want to spread this around to all the people in my life which is why I’m posting on here.",4.52169117647059,5.932172492647059,6.112529411764708,75.46188235294119,70.3970588235294,9.55764705882353,29.04117647058824,9.888512548439397,2.868920000000001,553,21,105,14,10,189,88,136,0.11,0.747,0.142,0.3384,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,2,7,0,15,5,0,1,2,22,26,6,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,7,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,7,1,17,4,16,14,2,14,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,3,8,76,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478615513609054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288355260886325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822273774037721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465103627105042,0.2937847281432846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810345412610704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317707710511809,0.1033912419820784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225029260377391,0.0,0.11574943736693707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406196648826792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700581008407727,0.0,0.0,0.1437441256907501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066696728543956,0.07070510107998275,0.0,0.0,0.2561533315525368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033377515580633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860610602603327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917524529750566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854284954439944,0.0,0.0,0.15537999685078607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175178789438893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302595029491485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08439004449631146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536228476980591,0.11487560535548536,0.0,0.0,0.1301247443039314,0.0,0.3917741670624693,0.0,0.0,0.13950929433143114,0.15694759265796396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319786030182356
mentalhealth,potatobooby,2019/04/10,"Episode of increased sensitivity and irritability??? For about two weeks I felt totally overwhelmed. Everything and anything said to or near me could make me feel attacked. I was crying all the time, and couldn't see anything in a rational way. I kept snapping at everyone and everything and got behind on my classes in college. I have depression and anxiety, and take Lexapro, but I haven't ever felt anything as strong and uncontrollable as this. My boyfriend was scared to say anything to me, because everything he said evoked an overly emotional response. But it then just went away like a fog clearing and I could think and feel rationally again. Has anyone been though something similar? Do you have any idea what it could be? I feel normal again, but so confused.",6.1892446524064155,8.568076066176474,5.803877005347594,75.47267379679145,67.75,9.063101604278074,35.893048128342244,9.573946990214177,3.8074205882352947,619,32,101,14,11,191,93,136,0.147,0.768,0.085,-0.8442,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,1,7,8,1,4,4,0,13,0,0,1,4,34,27,19,0,5,5,0,5,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,10,0,1,7,0,0,2,2,6,0,1,10,9,13,2,16,12,3,16,0,2,1,0,5,7,0,2,7,74,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231143973770807,0.0,0.1038447613870932,0.0,0.0,0.09491625028761268,0.0,0.4468271698269888,0.0,0.0,0.15442984351293135,0.12753715133100374,0.0,0.0,0.0827490577561768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3251446615522069,0.0,0.1491098069815369,0.0,0.0,0.11691720370450087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526951599774493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278936991986845,0.0,0.12971042445476474,0.3659972922041767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20591066435568975,0.0,0.2606734972868221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085678944367873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323988890751614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631828305013103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09061102301561892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300154492819855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25824967770047197,0.10795008856330553,0.1359046980406432,0.0,0.10817140663672294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450334215689712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102063550697131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869800890250143,0.1333690403415471,0.0,0.07915415962970715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260340600350967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774827834419216,0.10888666902117512,0.0,0.0,0.12583722694590435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Localbearexpert,2019/04/10,"My ptsd made me lash out on my fiancé and I’m afraid I ruined everything. How do I explain myself? I feel like my world has came to a crashing end. I grew up in a small hick drug ridden town. My childhood was consumed with violence and torment. I’m 30 now but at the age of 17 I moved out and swore to never return to that town. An old friend posted a status about how proud she was that she made it out of that place alive. It was a trigger, and while my #1 love in this world was out with her friend, I flipped out. Accused her of being a liar and dishonest. This was the second time I’ve done that, the first I was just being a sketched out asshole. Really I just was depressed, angry that she wasn’t there for me even no reasons  for her to predict my behavior. We just became engaged, i am terrified of trusting people. I believe part of my intent was to push her away now.  I trust her more than anything and that also terrifies me. She now thinks I don’t trust her, really it was the fact I don’t want to trust her. She has no idea that I sometimes deal with the issues growing up. I was kidnapped, my own mother tried to kill me and my brother, my step family made me and my cousins fight for their entertainment. How do I explain me lashing out on her wasn’t because of her? How do I explain having ptsd and not scare her away. The episodes are normally only once a ow how year, 100% non violent. This was two nights ago and ever since I have been manic and depressed. I don’t how to deal.",2.2395892457057522,3.839964391585767,3.556326860841424,90.73328043315912,76.6051779935275,6.30724421209858,23.858725416977844,7.010146845296331,0.7603924819517052,1163,37,251,12,26,380,156,309,0.173,0.6759999999999999,0.151,-0.8981,0,0,1,0,1,1,33.0,1,0,1,2,18,20,4,2,14,0,29,2,0,12,3,51,42,20,1,2,5,3,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,13,23,0,0,7,1,0,7,9,9,0,3,19,1,54,11,38,21,3,46,0,3,0,1,29,22,0,0,17,187,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230333345408083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131421109853382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042553468429016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23805947077959103,0.0,0.0,0.07722924924761303,0.0,0.0,0.1427366179005426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489998678735155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26122433447388776,0.2182363911099602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964819349403064,0.0,0.0,0.14692056123800035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221002866403466,0.0,0.0,0.08367776809484148,0.11459865660876392,0.0,0.0,0.11386109953007463,0.0,0.11943236793740575,0.0,0.06405843744720315,0.09050759703866862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077627299457623,0.0,0.0,0.1957612693191436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430179617269624,0.0,0.13223178929909668,0.0,0.0,0.14016407936878214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189449584360988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434296911129108,0.3596323603617803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346517710679749,0.0,0.0,0.09771139267767777,0.0,0.0,0.11889029243087668,0.12412962445860265,0.0,0.0,0.13294018968757582,0.1349210666842902,0.0,0.09635370482089682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719328146615226,0.0,0.08783112299535173,0.0,0.13236443014792992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133431566164672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961884321489948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232213892972405,0.13025875944543808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268391215985654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047995501261863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529997579561605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117804790823713,0.0,0.0,0.07387415021739865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601441787242463,0.0,0.12375804354778945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472523904476233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158441878980141
mentalhealth,geothermalantlers,2019/04/10,"Anxiety Vent - Kind Words Appreciated Hello!
I guess I just really need to blow off some steam from recent events. 
MAJOR warnings for suicidal ideation. Also, yes I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, yes I am on medication, and yes I have contacted them about all this. So, I am safe. 

So, I am a senior animation college student that has been struggling with anxiety, depression, and ADHD for my whole life. It’s made my school and work life really hard, but over the years I have learned how to live with it. I get decent grades and I’m actually in an academic honors society in my state. 
But, that doesn’t stop me from worrying. I’m not super academically skilled and my GPA is good because I excel in all my animation classes, it’s just everything else I struggle in. 
When I was in high school I was hospitalized for mental health, but it was outpatient. I was doing a lot better afterwards but recently I’ve gone down the “man I wish I was dead” road again and it scares me.  I know deep down that I’d never try and hurt myself and I haven’t like made any plans to kill myself or written any notes or anything. Truthfully, I’m afraid of dying. But, it doesn’t stop me from thinking I’m better off not existing. Sometimes I feel like my family and friends would be better off without me? I don’t know, I guess the fact that I’m even thinking that makes me feel like shit because I swore I’d never let myself get as low as when I was in the hospital. I never ever want to do that again and I promised myself I’d only improve.
It’s just been really bad lately, man. I don’t know where I’m gonna live after college and I don’t have money right not to move to a place where animation jobs are. It’s tough.",2.3331686046511635,4.40223940988372,4.278662790697677,83.53363372093025,77.86627906976744,7.672093023255815,24.12209302325581,8.567472430010655,1.7119348837209307,1343,46,271,29,32,457,174,344,0.159,0.6609999999999999,0.18,0.8822,1,0,0,0,0,3,37.0,0,0,1,9,16,26,2,4,10,3,29,5,1,4,8,60,55,27,4,4,14,0,3,3,1,2,4,0,0,2,15,14,0,3,8,0,1,2,13,11,0,0,12,3,43,15,33,39,6,42,0,3,0,0,6,21,1,6,21,175,58,15,0.0,0.0,0.09673257259821996,0.0,0.11913006044376515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927094091084044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481801297978255,0.0,0.15166207382689828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157216396014977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276598025967605,0.12085244877921568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630063912397842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537698648932715,0.0,0.1028770270931193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280696414076674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547171752387244,0.08966504538696926,0.0,0.0,0.08908796105724685,0.0,0.09344707005022376,0.0,0.10024205991752516,0.14163111569524495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658441912821412,0.0,0.1035783757644186,0.0,0.0,0.08314209614869007,0.0,0.0,0.21839669363628386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887973299213528,0.0,0.0,0.10536618904547401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473194846514762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611631875005784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836715354037907,0.0,0.1096681140087945,0.10322436377583137,0.1634309954697733,0.0,0.1118183250536779,0.0,0.0,0.10136294169478732,0.14003109961606672,0.14528371300112886,0.0,0.17505995938213031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842732895508622,0.0,0.18759063365841627,0.0661673033794153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985890874046063,0.09989558560100653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053551369756846,0.0,0.07350059372511715,0.2293559990632019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538970849774902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035654604342615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905077561790184,0.0,0.19574972162836055,0.0,0.0,0.08465297110550367,0.0,0.0,0.09924231165995123,0.20064139182241872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175130480515347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803804293322636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574737041557633,0.0,0.20725581204519866,0.0,0.10842763828428928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150928020340212,0.0,0.12703173955986846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067299974630548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584670200225396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067051967313588,0.11398988507021472,0.0955538236470835,0.0,0.07216483077138515,0.10066715614360516,0.0,0.07041619040805881,0.0,0.0,0.06383382519597194
mentalhealth,hhellpmeeeee123,2019/04/10,"I want to talk to someone but I can’t make myself It’s exam season, I’m very stressed and due to personal issues in my life I have been feeling super sad and confused, unmotivated and overwhelmed. I feel like I want to talk to someone but I literally can’t make myself. I had a meeting today with an “academic advisor” that I booked but just talked about academic resources available to help study for exams. She prompted me about stuff other than school but I just couldn’t tell her as I knew I would burst into tears. I left smiling saying everything was okay and cried in the bathroom.

I know there are some drop in counseling service available at my school that seem alright but I am afraid that I’ll get there they will ask me “how are things going” and I’ll break into a crying mess. I’m not sure what I should do",2.872229038854808,5.031916877300613,3.850453987730064,86.81146830265854,76.54601226993864,6.309856850715747,24.977096114519423,7.3011,1.1739312065439678,653,23,127,8,15,210,107,163,0.181,0.6679999999999999,0.151,-0.8091,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,7,11,0,4,4,2,14,1,0,3,1,32,28,12,0,5,8,0,2,1,0,3,1,1,0,1,8,8,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,6,0,0,4,3,24,5,18,20,1,13,0,2,0,0,12,7,0,3,4,85,32,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291510026166144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.359346120594194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470054292693567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654109811711944,0.11685385271809275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545814390390342,0.0,0.09296013273162368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963697144027842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170723724162126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989334196537878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777183893871124,0.0,0.11553374701713093,0.07991163767478789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183673915409576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282229618278286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007677472155385,0.0,0.3310814792932851,0.0,0.148907235495101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771832657083915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873679395894937,0.0,0.18724757406083667,0.0,0.0,0.1541620135431594,0.0,0.0,0.3944121257017481,0.1429666702849504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866809306794008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15504445413639456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496170135955993,0.1929546770296041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619485029854545,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,devilspython,2019/04/10,"Unequivocally Done Hello humans, A.I.s, etc of Reddit.

I've come to just drop a load of crap here and do not expect any kind of reply or response.

I work in a professional field doing technology/legal work that requires very specialized training. I have been doing this for about 5 years now and I am fairly good at doing it. That said, I absolutely dread going to work every day to the point where I would literally rather die than go to work. But regardless of this, I have pushed through and ""manned up"" for the past 4 years, going to work every day and pushing myself to do what needs to be done. I have managed to save up several thousands of dollars and provide financial independence and stability for my wife and I, but it seems like it has come at the cost of my very soul. 

These days I barely feel like I am in control of my own mind let alone my life. I have always struggled with ups and downs but lately things have been more intense. I barely know what is real anymore. I've used up all of my sick days in the past 2 weeks because some days I just can't force myself to go to work anymore.

I know this will sound crazy but there may actually be a demon that lives in my bathroom mirror. I can feel it creeping out at night when I am watching TV trying to take control. Trying to put thoughts in my head, whispering in a thousand voices at once. If I could understand what it's saying maybe it wouldn't be so frustrating. Or maybe it would just be worse. My mood is just a wreck lately, ever since I was a young teen I would cycle through the occasional depression with most the time being okay. But not anymore. Now I am either totally unable to bring myself to get dressed or looking for some new drugs and alcohol to party with and spending shitloads of money. I don't know anymore where my life is going but what I do know is that I can't lose the savings, the home that I have given up my own sanity to acquire. Money is tight now because of the time off work. Everyone wants money from me. Landlord, power company, grocery store. Fuck them. They're just more foes looking to ruin me and take what I've built for themselves. I don't blame them though, there's a good chance that they aren't even real people. Just NPCs. 

I don't even know where this is going so I will just end it here. Sorry if you read all the way through this hoping for some exciting conclusion. This is just a dump to get a load off my mind. I'm so tired.

Peace",3.743254274682844,5.124467571428575,4.649966905681193,85.31229178157751,72.26530612244899,7.256480970766685,25.284059569773856,7.730073105063049,1.2594131274131275,1930,59,388,24,37,626,236,490,0.124,0.79,0.086,-0.9707,1,1,2,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,3,14,30,22,5,2,19,1,50,9,2,4,4,82,83,27,1,13,23,1,3,2,0,7,6,5,2,2,27,17,1,4,11,2,7,12,9,10,0,2,8,11,47,11,62,61,13,60,2,3,3,1,10,23,2,12,25,271,74,11,0.0,0.0,0.07303656718884043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998505785834972,0.0,0.07751540846675631,0.0,0.0,0.0622758792439608,0.0,0.0,0.05089622140084097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29689900077549297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124794015207974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894228608145836,0.0,0.0,0.16788694573603566,0.059756532627243876,0.0,0.0,0.2413396844567431,0.0,0.06446269175542645,0.0,0.07767585105674148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318199666603907,0.0,0.0,0.08679482650395813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628922383520028,0.0,0.08347040933553747,0.09886699727841386,0.06770033026100163,0.12611793906480387,0.07151627685371288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568635618452288,0.05346829004781655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691917115726502,0.07820539449777986,0.0,0.2552120905299889,0.12555053853073225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681113639910593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507424335850195,0.07433659232408735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793810272939591,0.20566045405314395,0.0,0.16885370442172712,0.0,0.0,0.07653266219124705,0.10572851047925366,0.0731296148480353,0.0,0.06608827896366687,0.0,0.1256995653673887,0.08373085550724056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038093212739875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511414214793181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05549558858856368,0.0,0.0722844250658934,0.0,0.07023565808346371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970600218183127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428933892442409,0.05188713559077822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075140318734954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523850014767353,0.0,0.0,0.07486386389690472,0.1703768274114254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119341226984413,0.05951864279627365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813481175394602,0.0,0.08455197608631856,0.0,0.0619114077311498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378129402975285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824279162195767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254616086580624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049722768945555884,0.0,0.07353346697363085,0.05941746634916083,0.08728382191325372,0.08602171993113357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162779686067662,0.0,0.0,0.07791483767102762,0.0,0.06464084891132255,0.0,0.12350763326646312,0.04414470039935723,0.05940737405621141,0.060035029567825214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38140927702172905,0.0,0.07627203281448046,0.15950025985399072,0.0,0.0,0.09639366218886423
mentalhealth,fiendfornicotine,2019/04/10,"I need immediate assistance I need medication. I've stupidly not been on medication for a while, I've been self medicating with weed, alcohol, and more recently RC benzos. I'm off weed and alcohol now. Benzos helped the severe anxiety but now I'm super depressed and getting worse. And every doctor I call says they can't see me for at least 2 weeks. I feel if I wait that long I might do something stupid in that time.

I'm afraid to go to the ER one because of the cost and 2 because I don't want them to lock me in an institution. But if I could get meds today I think I could make it until my psych appointment in a month. But right now I feel like I'm spiraling. I've been diagnosed before with severe depression and bp2. But never got the medication they prescribed because im an idiot. It's been way too long since.

Is ER my only option?",2.9777990033222608,4.592444238372097,4.980498338870434,81.23709302325581,74.63953488372094,8.40265780730897,25.657807308970103,9.04235418022936,2.034462126245847,667,23,135,15,14,230,103,172,0.18600000000000005,0.765,0.049,-0.9719,0,0,3,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,1,4,8,3,1,8,0,11,8,0,1,1,28,28,14,0,7,7,0,2,1,0,1,8,1,0,1,4,8,2,1,3,0,1,1,4,6,2,1,5,4,18,2,15,20,2,22,0,2,1,0,7,7,0,4,14,78,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642854873196628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459083640734472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261251067610221,0.0,0.10521584683240348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625903980079878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974466827778365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21299670664352247,0.12550072070924082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655957598515016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417927384800207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504088928147278,0.08833458066918891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920257451382594,0.0,0.07027234577887992,0.0,0.09889307659419797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287904654184608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335617003443202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060408457576663126,0.0,0.0,0.2188502304056973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253639702462484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734571399042622,0.4982518021620044,0.0,0.13117161881669925,0.0,0.0,0.09869512851185548,0.0,0.0,0.18336773226061992,0.09536541882884672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378748773352057,0.0940403279919178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208807006335134,0.0,0.0,0.1055952241609954,0.0,0.09833032529572684,0.0,0.0,0.09853192103726433,0.0,0.12899245089621286,0.279375433388906,0.0,0.10228339518019856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519072902614838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922902669102767,0.0,0.0,0.07210048985123928,0.0,0.11720440980463415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07293114470384,0.0981464990038032,0.09918344419830122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600848146496654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,asharastarfall,2019/04/10,"Looking to Interview a Real Online Therapist Hi! I'm a staff writer for a legit website and I'm working on an article on online therapy. I would love to talk to someone who currently works for or has worked for an online therapy website (Talkspace, Betterhelp, etc.). Anonymity can be guaranteed if you need it (because of an NDA or fear of retaliation or else). I just wanna hear from a first-hand source about what it's like to work for an online therapy service. If you're interested, drop me a private message. Thanks!",4.59234693877551,6.623278387755103,6.165051020408164,72.6808418367347,71.24489795918367,9.389795918367346,34.69897959183673,9.827888789773867,3.954424489795919,414,22,69,11,8,141,68,98,0.054000000000000006,0.815,0.131,0.8217,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,4,2,5,0,1,9,0,4,1,0,0,0,11,11,6,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,4,15,9,1,4,0,0,1,1,8,2,0,5,2,44,8,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533452390743732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434845519635006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19271264234708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19444296077920328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697975138161073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19475307013835166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441914579894752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510468785682398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595467171879726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281256627425607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19667909182751087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640905381074226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888646557335144,0.0,0.15908686690498028,0.5928200895767028,0.20062887645039634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5031886846448039,0.0,0.0,0.12274895489389465,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,illigalmemedealer,2019/04/10,"Im 15 and Im worthless I dont deserve live, im only a hassle to everyone, just today i was chilling on the couch (hiding a boner) when my little bro came along, we played some lego, then we had a fun quiz and he fun threw pillows at me so i got a couch cussion as halfassed cover. As he got on the  couch, he tryed to climb me, as he accidently touched my pp .
I hit im in the head with my elbow 4 times.
Im a worthless bitch bringing pain and trouble to everyone. Im repulsive trash and the only thing i didnt kill myself yet is because my family and my friends (even tho they probbably just pretend to be friend because they feel sorry for the pathetic looser i am) would be sad.",1.762563218390806,3.1613612965517284,4.0149137931034495,87.79938218390807,77.41379310344827,6.488505747126437,25.8764367816092,7.1686216300943375,1.1640919540229886,528,20,114,6,12,183,90,145,0.17,0.7070000000000001,0.123,-0.6324,0,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,2,0,2,1,7,12,2,0,10,0,9,4,2,0,0,16,16,12,1,1,2,1,2,0,2,1,1,0,4,0,1,10,0,0,1,2,0,4,2,7,0,0,7,2,18,5,14,5,1,14,0,3,0,1,11,5,1,2,5,66,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481123082606165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894652427085966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237956466306728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802397246080092,0.0,0.0,0.23216832786262714,0.0,0.0,0.11452528587662755,0.0,0.06142648754394577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877180844651466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19432537220434032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467870171350208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7873481549620635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440519966712108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217599275313561,0.1072735179552121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847896978090358,0.12926865021320805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599255859503667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070926389528726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083890505272923,0.0,0.11515361511470976,0.0,0.0,0.08248036915347713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629948838943469,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tumblingtulips,2019/04/10,"So Frustrated I'm 17 y/o female struggling a lot. I'm in online school due to bullying, so I have no friends. I'm overweight, have acne, and am ugly. I cycle between starving/binging but I'm stagnant with my weight. I used to cut until I ended up in the ER, 4 years later I'm close to starting again and scratch/beat myself. I'm completely lost.

I am in a bad spot. I haven't done school for the last 3 days because I've been wallowing in my anxiety, and my grades are suffering. I can't walk into a store because I'm so disgusted with myself. I've been skipping volunteering even because I feel like all I do is take up the space and time of others. Every application for a job ends up in crying and deleting the resume because I feel like no one wants me.

I'm not suicidal but I feel like I'm moving closer the mindset, and that terrifies me. 

I want to change. I want to be at a healthy weight, be happy and successful, and not be such a disappointment to my family, but I'm having a hard time creating a new beginning. I don't know where to start. 

I don't even know the point of this post but if you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate them ♡",1.812376461712564,3.675811763485482,4.1055092417955485,85.1393728781592,78.66804979253112,7.369370049038099,25.47736703130894,8.296473431620573,1.7209983402489633,909,35,189,18,22,315,133,241,0.19,0.6409999999999999,0.16899999999999998,-0.524,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,1,2,8,15,3,1,14,0,20,3,0,1,1,31,44,17,1,5,7,0,6,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,12,3,0,5,0,1,2,8,8,1,1,4,6,26,7,25,36,2,33,0,3,0,0,4,15,0,2,18,116,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636568957142321,0.0,0.09715615367997164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604133379793493,0.30967687016058554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343512364479333,0.0,0.13315914135015758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395056922350411,0.08190575919143539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299671017598501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22497208516099776,0.0,0.0,0.1677671968722053,0.0,0.10700463094180254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197261473439301,0.0,0.1926480246404892,0.2721906821225185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981214011725123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002011199401534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519595065523704,0.1137688126572354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260298510402598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959391438499433,0.10352355014991893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861402312570929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863764460153652,0.10797252687003914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13498298711999634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265928676557115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605981661522319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12005790520866187,0.0,0.12163277347389405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570655326883049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17978528544221076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277002626980666,0.0,0.1389195337039686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548967019810113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481117312933353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968891868692453,0.0,0.0,0.2247271439398862,0.0,0.0,0.3093083515532213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021855028373144,0.0,0.0,0.0817850999162634
mentalhealth,notthatmoody308,2019/04/10,"I need to talk with someone I just need an advice, I'm being scared of life, I would kill myself but I think I don't even deserve the easy way out. I just need some comfort.",1.512280701754385,2.597569526315791,3.0131578947368425,96.02043859649126,77.42105263157895,5.066666666666666,20.561403508771924,3.1291,-0.4868701754385967,134,3,32,0,3,44,29,38,0.127,0.6859999999999999,0.187,0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,1,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,11,8,1,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,4,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28239807125707617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190875431656658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3197250567432817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041224638320157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6428481526784569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893298021361783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448606255322601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322795343122445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517337744916312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22938712570860464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052904864585973,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,GunnerySilver,2019/04/10,"Please help. I don't get that neck feeling anymore?? Hey. This is my first ever post on reddit. I've heard of the website before from friends and family but never really got around to it. Im sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place I'm not exactly sure but I really need someone to help me out here.

Throughout my whole life I used to get this feeling that would travel up the back of my head towards the top, I would feel full and alive in my head, in turn I would feel grounded and actually here. However for the past few months I haven't felt that feeling at all and whenever I attempt to, it feels very strained and never reaches the top of my head, instead it feels blocked and pushed back down my neck. This has  impacted me in so many ways where I feel as If I cannot focus, I cant absorb what I read or even stay focused when reading (my eyes are constantly scanning the page and not focusing on the words) I feel as if I'm here but not exactly here?? Like I'm not experiencing what I should be?? I'm getting very stressed out over it and have difficulty feeling emotion if any. Does anyone know what this could be? How do I undo the blockage in my neck and restore that feeling that I used to feel? I'm hoping if I do feel it then I'll feel alive or full in my head again. If it helps I did a CT scan and nothing was wrong with my head although my neck was shown to be very tense, I asked around my family  as well and they felt my neck with comments saying it's really tight.
I don't know I feel like I'm going insane and no one is believing me anymore about this feeling I used to get. 
Once again I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong place and hope someone helps me here as I'm extremely desperate and this is getting me depressed. 
Thank you for reading my  post I appreciate it and would love someone to help me out here. Please.",3.739771634615386,4.398452953125002,4.797083333333333,86.9754807692308,71.55208333333334,7.886858974358977,27.790064102564106,8.012643519586192,1.5497018429487182,1450,50,316,19,26,476,171,384,0.13,0.698,0.172,0.935,1,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,1,4,22,15,0,2,11,0,25,13,11,4,7,82,72,36,0,17,16,0,19,2,1,5,1,2,0,0,24,22,0,2,20,4,0,3,12,6,1,2,7,25,45,9,40,56,6,49,0,1,3,1,14,27,0,11,15,206,69,3,0.0,0.0,0.06235198789182988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04345057144210932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267327012617215,0.04467664382504885,0.0,0.0,0.11375961808179998,0.05973289790298356,0.0,0.0,0.09826212535100624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436966411206681,0.07198742088703694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904744690114198,0.0,0.051014700474599384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503239172532262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591466247315779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187291170320989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422018315925666,0.057796393439365275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046843010160467,0.0,0.5169130966620962,0.04564637005787013,0.12269782000051352,0.0,0.0,0.05434877966596546,0.0,0.0,0.049364868998357465,0.0,0.1669116580395092,0.0,0.03631281742616794,0.0,0.05110241013409345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278718613877111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141362759540501,0.0,0.0,0.12692366256829207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690172156055946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022968704317308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045130699997020886,0.06243142353267101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057667440660695984,0.0,0.0,0.06477917387193621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05100012163789637,0.0,0.0,0.04737709343290168,0.09855902785993907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130866588729567,0.0,0.0,0.06804574577140135,0.04329668678256999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060994699086437836,0.0,0.0,0.13351267647621085,0.1402743363992325,0.0,0.0,0.2447737540106688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19173590359879208,0.0,0.1227976987225544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081161174204856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241325757865038,0.0,0.0,0.14304971966708685,0.0,0.06810322428783601,0.0,0.0,0.0731911366937622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021997696587625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05882563411553918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949906082204131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555345837443286,0.0,0.15815940049731148,0.0,0.05071662059719968,0.0,0.0,0.05744898811847679,0.0,0.0,0.07133612512615911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815557814201197,0.2095763970294537,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dollyat,2019/04/10,"Anyone ever just wish the time would hurry the fuck up? Right now i'm in quite a shitty place; mentally, physically, socially, financially. I am working towards a better future for myself right now, but i just want the time to hurry up and for this to pass. What do you do when you're feeling super impatient?",5.423644067796611,6.5099506440678,6.762500000000002,72.85019067796613,67.98305084745762,9.289830508474578,28.309322033898304,9.516144504307137,2.6618779661016947,244,8,42,5,4,83,44,59,0.115,0.69,0.195,0.6385,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,4,6,3,1,0,5,0,4,1,0,0,1,9,9,3,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,8,8,0,15,0,0,0,1,2,7,1,0,7,31,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388232123318807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325851862378153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378812299812557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329710167776318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431215533211609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650228377168556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747590101064903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27971249930529785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44916840896556137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680758532271648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3066924907772597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511291581102196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024149929205896,0.0,0.0,0.1914531870384916,0.0,0.0,0.1868140467957389,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-Hyperfyre-,2019/04/10,"Hey there. A friend is taking a psychology, and showed me behaviors of Dismissive Avoidant Attachment, and I think my partners recent behavior fits the description. Over the better part of this past month, my partner seemed to distance herself, and many times it concerned me for the future of our relationship. I really, really care for this girl, and whatever it is, sometimes she just doesn't seem like the happy girl I fell in love with. And that makes my heart ache. I don't know if this is the right place to ask about this, but a friend of mine in a psychology class let me read something about Dismissive Avoidant Attachment, and everything matches. I guess, I just don't really know what to do. I want her happiness above all else, regardless of what I have to do. I'm just worried about her. Is there anything I can/should do? Should I be asking a different group of people? Any help would be appreciated.",5.795509803921568,7.255691982352937,5.89970588235294,77.9970098039216,67.41176470588235,10.137254901960787,30.637254901960784,10.317481424215053,3.215019607843137,727,28,134,19,12,230,102,170,0.035,0.767,0.198,0.9811,2,2,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,1,8,10,0,2,10,0,16,2,1,1,1,26,30,8,0,5,5,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,4,9,7,0,2,5,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,22,8,19,25,2,12,0,0,0,1,18,6,0,4,6,91,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280879083838587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440971881214688,0.0,0.2826691020559049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370799380339235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413989474154535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15795277685132206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629297329261882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358724305768585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23360532776321424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654376888950911,0.0,0.0,0.3218716201325863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915113058011706,0.10133395660769284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617109893449009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459360720626605,0.0,0.07385977848720172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136447453929796,0.0,0.1009150083601136,0.15327459032745958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067184997068453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16371512912272124,0.14432011024256985,0.10481040681081176,0.0,0.15795277685132206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122268633881514,0.0,0.2905527477405565,0.0,0.1492737635183832,0.16231264750981614,0.0,0.12910840929748418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27526041885335284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163871160091112,0.14952264059311193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136698795475298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687117658532253,0.0,0.0,0.08815530842635749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08917092752794684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353243044481082,0.0,0.1073951949192976,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cattalksmh,2019/04/10,"MH Talk 💭 They say write it down, well this is typing but it’s the same, a way to vent, get it all out instead of all these thoughts going round in my mind. After a mental health day off work I feel worse as always, seen the doctor twice, subscribed new tablets and then unsubscribed them shortly after due to being in a zombie like state.

Sick of feeling disconnected from others, like your in a room of people but there a bubble around you and everything is muffled. You feel like your different somehow, like you feel different emotions to others, I can’t say either way wether that’s true but I know that when I see others laughing and socialising I can’t do the same at ease. 

A dark feeling inside me like a heavy weight on my chest, done with crying, my eyes are constantly sore from tears. See a friend they say but it’s hard when you hate the person you are, why would others like what you hate, I’m not good company with a constant vacant look in my eyes. 

I want to LIVE not just survive.",4.362489177489181,5.478089015151519,4.645916305916309,86.9436363636364,70.46464646464645,7.273304473304473,24.74891774891775,7.447530270364453,1.0212008658008656,787,21,159,8,14,247,123,198,0.146,0.672,0.182,0.6587,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,8,3,2,8,13,2,0,13,0,10,8,3,0,3,32,27,11,0,2,8,0,8,6,1,1,4,3,1,1,13,7,1,0,7,0,0,1,4,2,1,1,3,17,22,11,24,22,5,26,0,0,7,0,18,12,0,1,16,105,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475955575925776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207840928745197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721080870181962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382961228369723,0.08119560394073322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26307908995271045,0.0,0.12886480915557152,0.0,0.12884023570495426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141621460240152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315152572299833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182961504191235,0.08994356050235279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727064990743886,0.0,0.06577797443429441,0.0,0.07155232906889822,0.10559962220919232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278239216040745,0.24860195992921966,0.0,0.13382666870613527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919179003303727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36905264400913584,0.0,0.1111727177388513,0.0,0.10572496757078233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268783996131967,0.0,0.12712392312414889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159578235020567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728376604393623,0.10993172701623824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30036412112172123,0.0,0.0,0.2006532828727041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119429830724527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995117619607692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425955697623747,0.19986839818263294,0.0,0.15331326304892226,0.11319994409374215,0.0,0.1136058942160371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09165728577037603,0.0,0.12830367666427375,0.08943631985418396,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,desol4ted,2019/04/10,"Reddit, I need advice. I want to be human again. Hi, I'm 21, male. I don't know really how to ever start a post like this, but here goes.

​

As of when I turned 19, I noticed a decline in my mental health. I started sleeping a lot, started giving up on a lot of hobbies and projects. I developed an extreme anxiety, terrible spending habits to feed my ""confidence buying"", terrible food choices, developed a drug problem, the whole nine yards. I began to try and shape myself into someone I wasn't to make friends and to fit in to crowds I didn't necessarily belong in. This was and still is draining. I turned 20 and everything just got **worse**. I began to forget things that were just told to me 5 minutes before, I started procrastinating on a lot more things, I had become a ""pathological liar"". It just all went really bad and still is. I finally came to terms with myself and went to the doctor with questions. I explained that I had concerns for my mental health, which rudely enough, the RN had laughed at when I mentioned it. The doctor came into the room and asked me a question like:

​

""In the past week, how many times have you thought about killing yourself?""

​

Answering truthfully, I said twice. One of which was today, during the anxiety attack I had about just making the **call** to the doctor. 

​

I have developed what I call a ""burden complex"". Where I just feel like my presence is a burden on others since I really offer no knowledge because I can't remember things, I am not knowledgeable in anything important or useful, I am just full of useless information that is probably not factual to begin with.

​

Anyways, they prescribed me lexapro and told me to start taking it daily.

​

I didn't take them. My brain wouldn't remind me and frankly after years of abusing pills I didn't want to take them. I went back and asked for an alternative option-- a therapist. This is where we are now.

​

Overall, I am just tired of feeling like a burden to myself and others. I am tired of feeling sick with anxiety in the simplest of situations, and resorting to some sort of lie to make myself feel okay. I am tired of being looked at as an idiot. I am tired of over-explaining things. I am tired of forgetting. I am tired of not being capable of things. I am tired of feeling disgusting with myself. I am tired of being there for others, but not being there for myself. I am just.. so tired. So very tired.

​

Has anyone dealt with this, dealing with this, or have any advice to deal with this? Link me things, give me personal experiences. Anything.

\--

​

tl;dr

​

Over the course of a couple years, I have developed terrible anxiety, self doubt, pathological lying, and no urge to complete tasks. It has taken me by the reigns and has pulled me under and I can't help but choke. I have found myself unable to do adult things, unable to be human. I have thought of my way outs, but I don't want to go. I want to succeed.. but it seems like my mental doesn't want me to or doesn't have the capacity to help me do so.. I need your help. Anything helps.",3.639494949494949,5.939531265993272,4.4929292929292926,82.44272727272728,74.72390572390572,7.0936026936026915,26.993265993266,8.045849151850463,1.8973144781144784,2468,95,444,40,54,795,256,594,0.22,0.688,0.092,-0.9984,0,0,1,0,0,0,145.0,1,2,3,1,29,26,6,1,29,1,53,24,2,6,4,98,105,33,1,9,20,0,5,5,1,1,20,1,2,6,27,30,2,0,20,1,2,7,17,16,0,3,26,7,77,10,79,72,10,57,0,1,1,0,36,23,0,13,30,334,104,6,0.0,0.04273941654026378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704982737168632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3908399242765701,0.438314232287315,0.024530194136245416,0.0,0.11037991235302658,0.0,0.0,0.025222378210709582,0.0,0.08905253714232615,0.0,0.067444893507692,0.04103710279642378,0.0,0.027737138213610246,0.03011860980254872,0.021989153859131427,0.039838685378347914,0.030694611636313825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04026827708862918,0.07366708169792298,0.08251350711535403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037820801345351686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039912977302493206,0.0,0.0,0.07437728760095468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076364874699723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041832063079807566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03727201436048569,0.0,0.0,0.03262918540280595,0.0,0.0,0.03241918393003245,0.035285333610022486,0.0,0.0,0.09119542470792773,0.05153968207880937,0.0,0.03951510826329393,0.0,0.0,0.04361840055991025,0.03955108157772313,0.02786913450962077,0.0,0.0,0.0692070906613673,0.020500546518351908,0.0,0.028850070317015218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668568956195518,0.0,0.0,0.09671319380025112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03990831889200217,0.0,0.019824225552385086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881147755156103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030291391545746137,0.0,0.0,0.09200136276267523,0.0,0.0,0.07223501199111898,0.03657134206350615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905626276426808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053493855705373815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04106820635344763,0.0,0.0,0.024443317935362318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034434801665742074,0.0,0.03149667541037119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03454700079916718,0.0,0.0388917125357494,0.034516028394498285,0.0,0.0,0.08081778162159893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932593264421759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040862539477380895,0.0,0.03431272845280763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03283859024814003,0.03763095867661792,0.0,0.0,0.02983912772094818,0.040546434687491965,0.03609804660929479,0.0,0.030563685021667918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765972160421935,0.0,0.05761428495629919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136495498116833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041882367425224984,0.16775241838369656,0.0,0.0,0.05727427084025776,0.0210338708606982,0.4145945281921404,0.03419203427357368,0.0689366757232027,0.0,0.02449051735096113,0.07847194629063962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03115462266714067,0.0,0.02976317433738296,0.10638098871370544,0.028632271288794267,0.02893477923784835,0.0,0.0,0.10031730461535253,0.0,0.04027309515603527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03676044548317632,0.0,0.0,0.438314232287315,0.04645836531506107
mentalhealth,powerpuffpuffin,2019/04/10,"Took a massive step and phoned for counselling but now I'm regretting it.. I was in therapy a few years ago in England due to a couple of suicide attempts and I got diagnosed with some stuff by different people but I was always passed around from place to place. I was either too mental or not mental enough. 
Then was then place with a woman who I saw on a pretty regular basis, she wanted me to go into group therapy and try CBT. She offered to come over and tidy my room when I was too depressed to do anything but I went through a really down phase while I was seeing her, I tried to kill myself again. I missed a bunch of appointments while I was going through all that and I got a letter saying they weren't seeing me anymore because I'd missed a few appointments, like 3. After all that happened I gave up on finding someone that could deal with my issues. That was about 6 years ago, since then I've not spoken to anybody about my mental health.

Fast forward to today, I've been living in Scotland for over a year and for the last.. I don't know two and a half years my mental health has been getting worse, so much so that family members have noticed. My cousin recently sent me a link to counselling and said I should think about it. I phoned them up today and had to answer some questions on what issues im having and she tells me there's a 6-8 week waiting list but someone will ring before hand to do a phone assessment. I felt a sort of relief answering the womans questions but I completely broke down just answering yes and no questions. I'm awful at talking to people about my problems and I tend to make things sounds a lot better than they are because I don't want to let anyone in. 

I guess I'm looking to see if any of you have had experience with the mental health service in Scotland vs England and if any of you have trouble talking about your mental health how did you open up to your counseller. 

Sorry for the long post. I don't know why I wrote all that and it took me about 2 hours because I kept deleting everything.. But any advice or just shared experience would be awesome.",4.2866428571428585,5.451226759523809,4.900952380952383,84.86071428571428,70.69047619047619,7.314285714285713,27.333333333333336,7.554174236665415,1.4940619047619044,1669,56,325,18,30,535,219,420,0.121,0.805,0.07400000000000001,-0.9621,1,0,0,0,0,2,28.0,0,5,3,2,18,12,1,0,20,2,31,6,1,2,3,71,66,33,2,9,16,1,2,1,0,3,5,4,1,2,13,22,0,3,12,0,0,10,7,8,0,2,26,11,48,4,59,34,12,58,0,5,5,0,35,24,0,12,26,228,61,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201192087626336,0.130648749369694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131845742623105,0.0,0.0,0.15034124718967226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730836278827331,0.05152784056289154,0.0,0.06064303819484629,0.06560237028959523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347676580733906,0.0,0.06270729275894713,0.0,0.0,0.06517544652133493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347997150352194,0.07726568071430287,0.0,0.0,0.05883784293897664,0.0815398735857478,0.0,0.0,0.07597421989681802,0.0634716501472549,0.0747968169424983,0.0,0.07699347262443558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614454106510203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06623049288890875,0.14417173743700887,0.06947117696939653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707568112228707,0.0,0.06735404277666482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03850153712184445,0.0,0.08376283026326567,0.0,0.11787800588067925,0.0,0.08118111859998882,0.0,0.06516645314781501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133287394386952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257273464138875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079601057226816,0.15383263673030445,0.0,0.0,0.08153035672611413,0.0,0.08099946206598109,0.06006960912477595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535605832084974,0.0,0.03600266450746885,0.0,0.0650722457748274,0.06521596262145296,0.06188353774405704,0.0,0.0,0.06265113083839406,0.0,0.0,0.04919063208925193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455911074805757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417281479171398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389993883629282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217885811706952,0.0,0.2309804178733067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057749805487089,0.07497224721675701,0.0,0.07051422324722606,0.0,0.0,0.24765898746273576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04720960588149743,0.0,0.07276292100782343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07009889338045587,0.058603610397428126,0.0,0.0,0.17617127660704265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060959589254272764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124879634715987,0.0,0.0,0.08249325057222921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436082384126442,0.08060815222535207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846324142094873,0.0644109070441804,0.0,0.1685486753534035,0.0,0.04895833712372776,0.04721948186792176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970464449078313,0.0,0.16375121029137849,0.1000653834321797,0.0,0.07198732716411313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693205025424708,0.0,0.059112058301355935,0.0,0.0,0.06831412479208722,0.06649644643266228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750994358285252,0.05234937406512365,0.0,0.0,0.1898234354245448
mentalhealth,ajohn200,2019/04/10,"Very sad topic about a User who i suspect has either schizophrenia or ptsd or something like that u/InnerVigilanceLight has a big problem. I was scrolling reddit this morning when i stumbled across a diwhy post of someone making a hand, all over the comments it stated that the op’s post history was messed up, curiosity got the best of me so i checked it out. The guy/girl has 25 karma and has been on reddit for 90 days. What i saw scared me and made me feel sorry for him. Most of their posts are pictures of trees on r/gangstalking and he stated there are several secret agents from the military stalking him with guns facing him and pointing at him. I went through their whole post history and all the images were of random nice looking trees, but he swears on it that there are people there and we cant see them, a couple of days ago they said that the government was using tech to see through his walls and hack, yes he said hack his phone to delete all evidence of the people. They are also getting into drawing, he posted a picture of what they were drawing and its freaky, very freaky, its a black figure that sort of resembles a womans body. I am very concerned for them, if anyone can tell me what they think this person has and what us the community do to help the person i would highly appreciate it, thanks for reading.
TLDR: person has several posts of trees claiming people with guns from the military are there stalking him",7.377934782608694,7.06926701086957,6.934550724637681,78.11769565217394,63.67391304347826,9.244057971014492,32.16811594202898,8.447377352677275,2.3987263768115943,1149,38,211,13,15,359,155,276,0.061,0.85,0.08900000000000001,0.8761,0,0,1,2,0,0,22.0,2,0,8,1,8,8,0,1,19,1,22,3,3,3,3,35,37,16,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,4,18,14,0,0,5,1,1,1,1,4,0,0,12,9,29,4,33,24,7,26,1,1,5,0,33,13,0,6,5,148,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380264698902532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462385653524003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739914903394994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105109000666984,0.0,0.0,0.11754166561763645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708732022914985,0.0,0.13648971205311267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053505544401186315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552863477468998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846335615667249,0.0,0.0,0.10477799220820977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709286143141624,0.1118041653061645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051698087364038615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886177132874001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012901756722872,0.07063537185462652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22008585778136389,0.27719265029853,0.0,0.0,0.10003367939811278,0.0,0.6080752705876603,0.0,0.0,0.1012550188635665,0.12369739209239584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584818706331957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013172504692496,0.0,0.1059438307107165,0.0,0.16864896295246293,0.0,0.0,0.23909194411024776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966056198697461,0.08146506007366566,0.0,0.1184563235352178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249095157599256,0.09742442506244108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780489534006659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728789038277574,0.09139411608409294,0.0,0.26193663516498583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980957837430754,0.0,0.11814374942305216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517117277000586,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KindaCrazy71,2019/04/10,"So, have only slept 7 hours in 4 days... Haven't taken medz in 4 days either. I don't want to.",-2.9910606060606035,-1.3940822272727296,0.6790909090909096,103.25530303030304,98.54545454545456,2.9333333333333336,7.333333333333332,3.1291,-2.4729575757575755,69,0,19,0,3,25,17,22,0.075,0.925,0.0,-0.0572,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6836277671158192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5219550424873112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40309799788314016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126148009178583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Snokeismyfarther,2019/04/10,"Day Before I get my first tattoo when you struggle with mental health. I am still super nervous but I should be ok haha!.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGR66fXMGZg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGR66fXMGZg)",17.21386666666666,23.689231719999995,6.539999999999999,63.01666666666665,51.8,4.933333333333334,20.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,0.6251333333333338,183,3,17,1,3,40,23,25,0.118,0.664,0.218,0.5722,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,2,2,5,0,2,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,3,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470251275198839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630104232794661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468918284147696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130693296038244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43349402029416906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4109870481614496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256859024773073,0.0,0.0,0.4263424349248829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ans97,2019/04/10,"Dealing with Job search depression? Does anyone have tips for dealing with Job search depression? I already deal with depression and anxiety and I've currently been at a job I'm absolutely miserable at for almost a year. Been searching for 8 months on and off, the last month getting more serious about it and just in the past three weeks I've had 4 interviews and was rejected from all of them. I try to keep applying but it doesn't even feel worth it anymore. I feel like I'm going to be stuck here forever and I'm becoming hopeless.... The lack of finding a job amongst everything else that's going on is really worsening my depression.",4.513770491803278,6.546496114754099,5.513901639344262,77.26019672131146,71.45901639344262,10.45377049180328,32.691803278688525,10.577609850970193,4.026233442622951,514,25,93,17,10,169,81,122,0.244,0.731,0.025,-0.9754,5,1,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,1,6,0,8,0,0,0,1,18,18,7,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,1,3,0,1,2,1,8,0,1,5,2,5,1,18,12,3,15,0,7,0,0,5,6,0,1,8,55,9,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332176934284493,0.0,0.1469247238722237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185272214156507,0.0,0.13204038317906971,0.09309548539696508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470440940140805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4117884701756928,0.4586975906504753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651283977664367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122246316692806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793856611378235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196588061175915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346404729679624,0.095116163913019,0.0,0.0,0.1216887266620143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956082862647023,0.0,0.15133452627545402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5284887436704943,0.1183420956939602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852792117790172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504610888585657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125442142778967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709842620071846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529371941316204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039419603352228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679791158066763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573862531168233
mentalhealth,djadee_,2019/04/10,"Stopped taking my antidepressants for 3 weeks after 5 years, feel a lot better, doctor doesn't want me to stop. Been on antidepressants since 14 and changed from Escitalopram to Setraline because Escitalopram was making me aggressive and rage (I didn't feel depressed because I assumed the antidepressants were working, but the rage was destroying my relationships). So I switched to Setraline because of this, and the dosage given was much lower than my previous antidepressant (it wasn't the usual doctor I saw). I felt depressed and was very teary for a week but then felt fine, to my surprise. Without medical advice (stupid ik) I decided to gradually come off them because even with a much lower dosage I wasn't any more depressed than I was with the higher dosage, and I'd only had a come down of a week. I've been antidepressant free for 3 weeks and overall I feel much better; I can think rationally. 

​

Over the 5 years of taking antidepressants, switching etc I have had breakdowns which lasted hours and was in hospital for suicide attempts during taking antidepressants, but I've found that since coming off them my breakdowns happen much less often and the duration of them is much less. I don't have suicidal thoughts. I saw my doctor and told him I was thinking about coming off them with medical advice and he didn't like the idea at all and advised me not to. So I took one today and I'm a mess; I know it's side effects but I don't want to go through this again. I was fine without them, and I feel I have enough experience with antidepressants now to realise I might not need them anymore. I have tried coming off antidepressants twice before and I got worse over the 6 weeks so I took them again, so I know the signs if I need to go back on them and they just aren't there. There are many factors as well which may explain why I don't need them now when, before, coming off them didn't work, but that's another story.

​

Can anyone tell me if they have experienced a similar thing and found that as you've got used to your emotions more over time you can cope easier with your mental illness without medication and find it's not what you need anymore?",7.968148880105402,7.580785485507247,7.653438735177867,73.70845849802375,62.502415458937186,10.52244180939833,34.76021080368906,9.910423181423305,3.2604579710144925,1757,66,320,31,22,558,187,414,0.108,0.8029999999999999,0.09,-0.7401,2,0,0,0,0,1,43.0,0,4,12,6,17,17,5,0,17,0,35,7,0,3,1,77,78,32,2,8,14,0,6,1,0,2,7,0,0,0,12,28,0,2,19,0,1,10,16,9,1,2,31,9,54,9,47,45,13,46,0,3,2,0,23,14,0,7,23,224,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502093327064327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14971025119619935,0.1678951656232755,0.04698114621767915,0.07244315292540061,0.0,0.0,0.13703036279905248,0.04830684307239337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312320558230423,0.0,0.16845780297065668,0.0,0.11757493881793292,0.0,0.0,0.1222026785087776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308428978461896,0.3570710887351678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785121407989334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121386870598499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771294281636093,0.0,0.07138475736358095,0.0770496394016712,0.04563094005209687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757979200917116,0.0,0.0,0.13972871339834514,0.0,0.1326676273916172,0.0,0.06314375178855806,0.0,0.0,0.15149942445215192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852682846059546,0.0,0.1105094696296175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109290805528221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680362240171332,0.0,0.0,0.07799017811444732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593619798978153,0.056314666978307476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03375214341512333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058734818161540525,0.0,0.0,0.04611573314560002,0.0700428035473071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879195097069111,0.0696228791671239,0.07328979199107175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25393240181869425,0.20490687050275969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681475766511183,0.052543348473354234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417297843357276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114298029170057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551870959346902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113869773576113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583320807546772,0.0,0.06038459102387686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045897958903103137,0.08853559845068028,0.0,0.05484691392803142,0.0402848569783678,0.0,0.06548586418698985,0.0660150511635583,0.15351514699719082,0.04690515575300794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05966849975797164,0.07608894986935558,0.057003545821137536,0.08149794099109968,0.0,0.27708486255740816,0.0,0.0621170037878067,0.0,0.06233976366181665,0.0,0.0,0.19979057966512967,0.0,0.10059149786617737,0.0,0.07040498149667197,0.0,0.0,0.1678951656232755,0.0889788006478173
mentalhealth,okaycpu,2019/04/10,"I don’t know what’s happening to me I feel like every moment is disconnected from the last. My perception of time is just fucked. I feel like I’m just not really experiencing life. My mind is constantly doing like these sort of checks. Like reminding me that every moment is over. It’s so hard to describe. It’s like I’m seeing reality in a very objective way. I can’t stand it. 

I had stopped taking my Effexor back in January. And ever since it’s been kind of a rollercoaster. There’s been days I’ll feel incredible and then there’s days I’d feel like I was on the brink of dissociative insanity. I don’t feel like a person living life. It’s like I’m watching a movie and every passing moment is already gone. My doctor gave me Effexor again last month but I haven’t taken it. I hoping that my brain is just trying to even itself out. But the past few days have been absolute hell and I’m worried I’ll never feel okay again. I don’t know what to do. Should I get back on the Effexor? 

I just need some kind of support. I need to know I’m gonna be okay. I feel like my brain is fucked. I experimented with microdosing psilocybin last year while I was on Effexor and a bit this year while I’ve been off it. The days I did it, I felt really really good. Could the microdosing have caused this sort of distortion of my perception? I’m just so confused because some days I feel fine and then the next I’m in hell.",0.8492203867848502,3.2062725239726078,3.236809024979859,87.15287268331991,85.74657534246576,7.13392425463336,19.889605157131342,8.219915518859313,1.1394803384367442,1115,33,239,27,34,383,129,292,0.132,0.762,0.107,-0.921,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,15,22,4,1,12,2,27,7,2,1,2,45,60,14,0,5,8,0,10,9,0,2,3,0,0,1,16,8,0,1,14,0,1,2,7,5,0,0,12,13,29,17,23,44,4,43,2,0,2,2,2,10,4,6,38,139,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987759157058623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376545004193999,0.0,0.05456413646233325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772114836668457,0.0,0.0,0.1998443214543772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919508726822406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672792822727612,0.0,0.07146602093931187,0.0,0.0,0.2886309861795612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091616725894576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059120154626280064,0.0809664317408074,0.2262467435213663,0.0,0.0,0.08755742810979956,0.0,0.0,0.3620693824150892,0.3197278831406237,0.08594311925569999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655001082115469,0.04676499886304783,0.0,0.0,0.0750762889101137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915292051125346,0.0,0.08018289536145161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890309109347908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18642065852026488,0.14757617622260893,0.2188864714829832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644635844128124,0.3935682109229082,0.0,0.07903849371118275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090379039055169,0.0,0.07144559758213452,0.0,0.0,0.13274026191745766,0.06903521419579542,0.0,0.09519432694573747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544690847040841,0.0,0.07815620856587131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202615768713486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713274513703827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404315087852678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483391713601566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157427529777316,0.0,0.0,0.06729997487678735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219368636586391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060771048278242736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738546792887522,0.0,0.07104844360255104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909012022607744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528231605033908
mentalhealth,secretly-an-ahole,2019/04/10,"A little victory Last night I was feeling like things couldn’t get any worse. A dog straight out of hell will be staying with me indefinitely instead of a week, I still hate my job and my family is still less than sympathetic. This morning I was digging through a drawer for something I needed and I found them, my blades. Still dusty, still untouched through another bad day. I’m still okay, I’m still stuck with the same circumstances, but I’m not aching or in long sleeves. My situation hasn’t changed, and probably won’t for a while. But today I won, it never even crossed my mind. To those who don’t think they’ll ever get through it, it really does get better. Even if it’s just a little thing, even if it’s something you have to do for yourself. The little victories really add up when you remember to count them.",3.364782608695652,5.4014387391304375,4.066428571428574,86.39107142857145,74.65217391304348,7.58136645962733,27.02795031055901,8.418075326091056,1.8433279503105584,651,25,131,12,14,207,104,161,0.069,0.8,0.131,0.8657,1,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,3,2,13,7,2,0,8,1,12,0,0,0,2,25,25,10,0,4,7,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,5,1,17,4,17,15,2,25,1,0,0,0,6,7,1,4,17,89,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264567167876506,0.12743650408840512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147382949099104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748484508559766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285643434587476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837784328853609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635314297171948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408114739771863,0.10993231154095563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11456919887806832,0.0,0.06145004060836619,0.08682221632358376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325315260276488,0.0,0.0,0.19048577220307214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998731772952773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060138398111488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906449400412493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937421258766967,0.3654198436425657,0.0,0.10755166268297668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271229526319198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901141591236962,0.0937326804590278,0.0,0.0,0.11404919615529716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103164562832215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557125403985936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767163858757367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660663712300536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712196299338105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295365406702821,0.5823318705174244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614804213015942,0.07787255729708507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519776903956346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974853379352333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238511073860071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bipolar1980,2019/04/10,"My 37 year search for a cure that has saved my life from mental illness and what i recommend..... I've actually been in treatment since age of 2 and I'm almost 40. Started in therapy at that yound age in 1982. I was eventually on meds in 1995 with a diagnosis of manic-depressive before bipolar was the main name of the treatment now. I was then treated only with zoloft for 10 years which if your bipolar and only on a antidepressant,  will send you into mania. So from age 15 to 25 I was in full blown mania. Spending sprees and debt, schooling loans (I love to learn manic), hypersexuality, STDs, abortion, wreckless behavior, but i was never sad thats for sure. At age 25 and in my first marriage I got a promotion of manager at work which flipped the mania switch higher and didnt sleep for a week. Became suicidal and homicidal which led me to my first hospitalization and correct meds for the first time. Was stable for a while, had a kid, husband left me, years of depression insued. 
Then i started doing meth cause of my physical problems of fibromyalgia and not being able to stay awake, which put me back into the ever missed mania. Did meth, no one knew I mean no one, for 4 years until I got with my current husband in 2012. Went through severe depression and agoraphobia after that until january 2018.
The breaking point! I  had been reading about ketamime treatments for the past 5 years and was hoping some day it would be available in my town of Tucson Arizona. Well, it did and I saw an add on facebook I believe. I was extremely excited to contact them so I did right away. Found out the cost, not covered by insurance, is $500 a treatment. The first week you fo 4 treatments. Then in a week 1. Then 2 weeks out then 3 and so on till you go about 7 to 8 weeks in between treTments. WELL... after 3rd treatment I was cured of agoraphobia!  In the following 3 weeks I went to 2 concerts! AFTER 6 YEARS OF AGORAPHOBIA! 
My panic attacks that I had since 1998 were almost nil! I started doing things around the house, going to peoples houses to visit, shopping, doing everything that brought me happiness after 6 god damn years! I WAS NEW AGAIN!
Well I also have PTSD from my large family upbringing, being I'm the first mentally ill person we knew of in the family. I was treated like shit and disciplined terrribly before we knew I needed medication. I was coming up to the hosliday season and getting freaked out. I had avoided my family for the past 6 years cause my panic was triggered just by thinking of them. So I was looking for new types of therapy. I accidently fell into a womans lap who did EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprossesing) therapy and took a chance. She said I dont do talk therapy. Heres my website read about EMDR and what I do and I'll see you next week. Let me tell you, this is the only therapy I've had since my age of 2 years old to 38 that did a damn thing! I could actually work through and get over a trauma in life over the hour sessions. In 2 months so much trauma I had worked through I was able to be with my family for 3 days of holiday celebration for the first time ever! Normally it was 2 hours max with valium.
If you suffer from PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, bipolar, depression, OCD and a few others... I'm  telling you... LOOK INTO KETAMINE INFUSION THERAPY AND ESPECIALLY EMDR! I HAVE HAD THE BEST YEAR AND A HALF THAT I CAN EVER TRULY REMEMBER.
Take from my 25 years of meds and 37 years of constant therapy. My diagnosis today are officially bipolar 2, panic disorder,  PTSD, and borderline personality disorder.
I am living proof you can finally have stability and hopefully dont have to suffer as long as I did.
If you need help I encourage you to go to nami.org and find your local chapter for family and individualninfo and classes on mental illness.
You're not alone and I love you all!",3.816824967244453,5.872576583220571,5.415343772150268,77.12997143286726,73.42489851150202,8.426840217367959,28.780226389157377,9.107695989026183,2.679530171617587,3041,126,548,69,63,1029,336,739,0.14800000000000002,0.759,0.093,-0.9936,2,2,2,0,0,0,95.0,2,13,2,11,21,37,5,5,35,0,59,16,3,4,8,91,97,51,1,11,8,2,0,1,0,2,11,2,0,4,22,47,0,2,9,5,5,15,9,21,3,9,45,7,77,16,107,44,7,129,0,7,5,2,38,40,3,8,73,379,99,12,0.09505563549896412,0.0,0.09276058830672086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518448819411288,0.04922448554859472,0.0,0.038007978682933215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03635865048899593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042309834279551296,0.0,0.10813950805716567,0.04465394929572717,0.036545958132244365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088534463124901,0.053547575129036525,0.049877512494745736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976483219373162,0.0,0.04094100659059013,0.0,0.05136068642060285,0.0,0.03794709509923303,0.0,0.0,0.06130302114031023,0.0,0.16374255913774136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894199351586444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140449686735336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289748965199725,0.0,0.0,0.04271493798185475,0.0,0.22402498353376835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05206440120317941,0.04343956438400942,0.24256282498867496,0.0,0.05211179900005676,0.0,0.0,0.04966264627153559,0.0,0.08103346231806152,0.0,0.07602467520608068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0505942457705036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031856894394077136,0.0,0.0,0.09441169406101013,0.09361065346683088,0.1096814409518843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051639113049330165,0.04860041375701683,0.06714060648203214,0.023219691029592062,0.0,0.04196793382277906,0.04206062309508836,0.07982279344558013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579142225760539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177172678640059,0.15837807342038973,0.0478792762025784,0.14369058488832553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03793625068580595,0.0,0.034938414666669,0.07048254927689791,0.03665638304542488,0.0918053250940559,0.05054637336791069,0.0,0.04656717028329455,0.0,0.0,0.04987244968858669,0.0,0.06441215867328061,0.1084411412519191,0.0,0.22305461475446,0.0,0.0,0.09074135985311144,0.03294980451714462,0.08299891445091462,0.0,0.0,0.044929150121579976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04547770281426256,0.16667242669888366,0.04777858410957653,0.0,0.0,0.09508135890390297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05383975251580829,0.04058849667047345,0.04520983844050864,0.0,0.0,0.04810068895156557,0.037873517299029484,0.0,0.0,0.053692905801445465,0.04878662192675001,0.11794650594386526,0.0,0.047562141771055534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009213020822566,0.05065832994357504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05198771854096272,0.0,0.04479440576026776,0.0,0.035735004037710925,0.03820105958529494,0.08308281517282573,0.0,0.3804654118084518,0.0,0.06315074047365207,0.030453906524699363,0.0,0.0,0.05542770547661753,0.0,0.04505081394464608,0.0,0.052805154294882486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26686763995403245,0.0,0.12819964805470127,0.08811752642920037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380245212560107,0.0,0.0,0.033762398089523186,0.0,0.0,0.36727627643942345
mentalhealth,b50142,2019/04/10,"[Academic] Support workers needed to answer questionnaire Hi everyone!

I am a MSc Psychology student currently looking for **support workers** to answer my questionnaire about vicarious trauma and personality types. The questionnaire is about 20 minutes long. All data collected will be anonymous and will form as part of my dissertation.

I am not looking for responses from nurses, social workers or any other health care professionals. Support workers only please.

Link to the questionnaire: [https://shusls.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_6nYkLfzLCMysxcp](https://shusls.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6nYkLfzLCMysxcp)",12.993848238482384,18.238671609756093,9.692601626016264,41.79941734417346,58.512195121951216,11.937127371273712,44.476964769647694,10.980518767755715,7.492280216802168,520,29,44,17,9,151,59,82,0.034,0.8290000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.8122,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,4,2,5,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,1,9,13,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,4,10,10,3,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,2,31,5,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867899099848374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079196234198761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19486328927901994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21676742534950527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18047110947392514,0.34249868485933194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121107262005534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509750477787396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22083567691809186,0.0,0.0,0.17806329381075106,0.0,0.22385325197328504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20788035080122844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6942500291855037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,catchthisblock,2019/04/10,Finally did it Finally called the VA to see if they’d take me in as a patient for inpatient treatment for my bipolar disorder and other MI’s. Now to just talk to my boss about it,2.503859649122809,3.8354328947368437,4.876315789473686,82.66254385964915,75.3157894736842,9.27719298245614,31.08771929824561,9.725611199111238,3.0873403508771933,142,7,30,4,3,50,32,38,0.07400000000000001,0.926,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,8,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,3,22,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403216456584446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819739302287857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7301957054674504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26558530438845906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505891346120491,0.26788217101193823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cop-Ache,2019/04/10,"Don’t know what to do I gotta get help. I’m typing this from the bathroom at work this morning. I almost turned around half way and drove home.  I’m trying not to bawl my eyes out at work. I don’t want to check myself in a hospital cause they aren’t really equipped to deal with suicidal people. I’ve heard too many horror stories on how they treat the mentally ill there. My own mother use to work in the field and from her experiences there has made me think twice. If I had a clear cut plan on how to do it, I would have done it already. I’m so tired of feeling like this. Why do people have to treat each other so poorly. I’m just really fed up with everything. I don’t see the point anymore. The future doesn’t seem very bright for the world.",1.3054008438818556,3.1978256582278486,2.707873417721519,94.40948945147684,80.39240506329114,5.9854852320675125,18.128270042194085,7.03164865440522,-0.044776033755274725,586,12,134,7,15,190,104,158,0.104,0.7759999999999999,0.12,-0.0988,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,4,9,5,1,0,8,0,14,4,1,5,1,23,32,7,1,3,3,1,1,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,7,7,1,0,4,0,2,1,6,1,0,2,6,5,13,4,22,24,2,14,0,0,3,0,7,11,0,3,2,80,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720155357555754,0.0,0.1895664542797106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17036225491060886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292300141351736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17646812765779246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710039569278607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579331891028624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438719230660042,0.1680364193438734,0.0,0.0,0.08685848232485625,0.12272157784253987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08974935798379581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514230649705574,0.0,0.17231203002846754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440726605860723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392433826799192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254492127689718,0.0,0.17416067080080067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311653338718438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381849557461261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239015360244927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22009676159804425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368885517534053,0.15638449624947648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18790236575725716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007140230692283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743891546254652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662916068804285,0.18685022252245925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836507702760685,0.0,0.14173869798812727,0.10132187286240978,0.136353092143779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500714573157293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3751795014900777,0.0,0.0,0.12202948413019984,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ResponsibleBat4,2019/04/10,"Can you be born with schizophrenia? I'm 24M and I think I may have had schizophrenia/psychosis for my entire life.

When imagining things, I have always physically seen and heard them like they were real. I thought I was psychic and being led by a spiritual force on a destiny for some higher purpose. A lot of days I know I'm awake, but I'm also dreaming at the same time along with reality.

I learned a lot of critical thinking skills, and I no longer believe in things like destiny. This is psychosis when I get these feelings. I never told anyone about dreaming while I'm awake because as a kid, I thought that was how everyone's imagination worked. That's how imaginary friends are depicted in kids' shows for example.

I had my brain scanned when I was 8 for a speech problem, and they found a small amount of brain damage. It's easy for me to collect my thoughts in writing but much harder to force myself to speak, partially due to selective mutism after years of failure in social situations.

Am I considered schizophrenic, and should I try to get on meds for this?",5.558550522648083,6.730564468292687,5.71973867595819,80.1354268292683,67.73170731707317,8.78397212543554,33.667247386759584,9.04235418022936,2.9203588850174214,856,39,159,15,14,271,129,205,0.094,0.8390000000000001,0.067,-0.7514,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,3,2,7,5,0,0,8,0,16,4,2,3,1,35,33,16,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,2,2,3,0,2,8,9,0,0,11,3,0,1,2,2,0,0,13,6,24,3,29,16,6,20,0,1,2,0,12,8,0,4,13,107,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293202113992966,0.13831454360669734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623008877986175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101330702596303,0.0,0.0,0.1872813981618377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711295883301062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720294507301033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588374393675182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404958661367598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18225980455587604,0.12842690531441375,0.0,0.17369394987050482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135425203351194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741135452994853,0.16242065828111854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28264124480890696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18464120897396624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219629241032935,0.0,0.12820484684432387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905720749668764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920321487756125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186846603601916,0.0,0.16944793828666815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22086824552485976,0.21302365904307305,0.0,0.3958980510651295,0.09692855515444754,0.0,0.0,0.1588374393675182,0.0,0.11285751812088445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101555373804515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704501930836928
mentalhealth,sosteph,2019/04/10,"Anyone who voluntarily committed yourself to inpatient treatment, what was your experience like? How long did you stay? I’m in the US but I’m interested in anyone’s experience",3.700645161290325,6.929582935483872,6.621548387096772,58.63232258064517,90.61290322580645,10.221935483870967,32.006451612903234,9.3871,5.0387367741935485,145,8,21,6,5,52,26,31,0.0,0.7759999999999999,0.224,0.7359,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,3,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4564161981853309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6385122641269946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944971766267604,0.0,0.0,0.28883047878117674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478709685013254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3925874092883606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I9l0pinky,2019/04/10,"Does anyone else feel this way? I hate everyone I know. Even if I feel some sort of love for them, I still hate them. I prefer to be alone above all else due to this feeling. There are rare times when I enjoy the company of others, but then they say or do something that makes me angry and I internally say to myself ""this is why I don't spend time with people"". I'm able to act civil when these feelings come about in the presence of others because I know I'm likely being irrational. I realize this is a terrible quality I have, and not all the people around me have earned this feeling of hatred towards them. I just feel so bizarre as a human being, I don't think I'm meant to feel this way all the time. It seems like nowadays, especially with social media, everyone else seems to be so happy and I'm so deeply not happy at all. Every day that goes by I feel more and more disconnected from the people in my life. I don't have anyone that I would call my best friend because I loathe the thought of having to put effort into a relationship to that degree. I have a husband, but we don't have meaningful conversations. Lately I feel a neutral feeling towards him, just nothing much, mostly numb. Does anyone else feel the way that I do? I've gone to counselling, I've been on almost every antidepressant I can think of and it only made me worse.",3.5420158730158704,5.0471542703703705,4.764285714285716,83.80500000000005,72.96296296296295,7.216931216931218,24.33862433862434,7.793537801064563,1.2359735449735454,1063,31,209,14,21,351,141,270,0.133,0.732,0.135,0.1652,0,1,1,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,4,3,12,12,2,0,12,0,22,3,0,2,4,52,52,16,0,3,8,1,11,2,1,1,2,2,0,1,16,11,0,0,22,0,1,4,6,4,0,0,5,13,33,8,30,42,10,25,0,0,0,1,16,8,0,8,12,145,49,1,0.09346643877999104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359313723905176,0.09680304257298704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196061721593749,0.1915348237656465,0.0,0.08320494654994635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395254711232478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808726107857524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543968416870263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051306092487914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060278120727536876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358622087117233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123168649968518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06173370131120578,0.0,0.15749901169318412,0.17862237534104014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5198538377936475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221193874789505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899352416533486,0.0,0.18455751575730525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273342078987782,0.0,0.1054342140553453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660181098412909,0.09132596163144156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843571101723497,0.08844020429757267,0.062389573664435614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870858688957468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968356881319517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710854384512202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19439358038364365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093959586577506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034797641146276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14865652717201466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017667102272566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952772638300168,0.0,0.07195503092988577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464241874522178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977903992166357,0.0,0.07420191208878922,0.1635030962694085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225679257968095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433892322437264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09525028617806856,0.06639587642616926,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lxyxs,2019/04/10,"Will my psychiatrist intervene if I tell her that I could attempt suicide any day now? My emotions have been highly unstable and extremely intense (more than usual even) and I've decided that I might as well finally try to end this. I've been gathering various pills and can't tell which of these nights I'm going to finally give in. I almost have the past two nights. I hate the whole concept of life and can't manage being a part of it anymore.

Any responses would be appreciated... I want to be honest with her but I don't want her to tell my parents that I have pills and have them supervising me constantly (I'm 18, in my senior year of high school).",4.595991452991452,5.625020223076927,5.927948717948719,78.28927350427355,69.84615384615385,9.777777777777779,29.82905982905983,9.994966539143718,2.90480341880342,519,20,102,13,9,175,83,130,0.058,0.879,0.063,-0.34,1,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,1,1,3,3,1,0,3,0,16,3,0,0,0,15,23,8,1,5,2,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,1,1,2,0,17,2,13,14,4,17,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,3,12,71,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997371110986232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036984093050955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485322793069884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16184890823679673,0.0,0.11957970853958612,0.0,0.0,0.0965897044475289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684718669992101,0.13265237651882547,0.0,0.0,0.09892212783231953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281329390238414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367369253229836,0.08511813425689756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786754866782573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164819126799181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578746717366937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888303339505164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28109929252747506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630262642037197,0.16218706158065838,0.1429730699457424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157593355539234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16382482544472834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927185518562501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168446690110848,0.0,0.1463042010183217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495125493820426,0.0,0.17667726607402925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346618365136162,0.0,0.0,0.1672136261032618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639280062373634,0.0,0.0,0.0964474135531795
mentalhealth,qwerty_7854,2019/04/10,"Please help my sisters obsessiveness Hi Guys i really need some advice my sister mid 20s is about 3 months off getting married and about 2 weeks ago she had like a breakdown we think maybe after she was nervous about telling her bridesmaids something at a meeting then she didnt sleep that night then then she had the next day off work then the 2 weeks she said it got worse and couldnt sleep then went to my parents bedroom at night because she said she was having panic attacks and wanted to talk with them at first they were patient with her and did talk at all different hours of the night then after a while they became fustrated and they were tired and asked here to let them sleep but she would not leave them alone and even would grab my moms wrist and not let it go and then she gets anoyed and pushes her away and now she has become like obsessive and does shaking and repeats the same things and questions over and over, and wont let go of my moms wrist and today would not let her go to work What can i do to help? Thanks so much",6.864928229665072,6.105108220095693,5.765454545454547,87.56818181818184,64.88516746411483,8.556937799043062,29.047846889952154,6.980632752743323,1.298594258373205,834,21,177,5,11,247,118,209,0.07200000000000001,0.8390000000000001,0.08900000000000001,0.679,2,1,1,0,0,0,2.0,1,0,6,3,8,9,1,5,7,0,22,6,5,0,1,35,36,27,0,6,4,5,1,2,0,4,1,2,1,1,5,20,0,0,2,0,0,6,6,6,0,1,12,3,28,3,23,15,4,40,0,0,0,0,38,10,0,2,26,123,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143116391919432,0.09201153470080016,0.0,0.0,0.10750444125197016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970380363690372,0.11808632697107392,0.09752256047433698,0.0,0.0,0.06327489602050879,0.11463782058452975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694175633629255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844784373820683,0.0,0.0,0.09083518866680858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855824868183591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829136109224871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084613679353748,0.0,0.1769740606149307,0.0,0.08301752814992637,0.0,0.0,0.10277731146620853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914853933729146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222108859064304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990813458399064,0.0,0.42456596690317794,0.0,0.10142187906526293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428002898442933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24313622647877425,0.08285135715935721,0.0,0.07630419505881697,0.07696562994596577,0.0,0.0,0.11039139496676437,0.2922249393086305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178574067665525,0.1152564857672348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394011202385837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627861539090735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649628581571587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747320328378629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116218332518635,0.0,0.0,0.07990952752908817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16685937984648344,0.09072488542290437,0.0955641568237098,0.0,0.0,0.0689594314049866,0.06651019646808677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193016604007964,0.09838929807167696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122332894244905,0.0,0.16652256465893406,0.0,0.0,0.09622269626286972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511337903210882,0.0,0.10578003048760523,0.2212074560956622,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yytempaccount,2019/04/10,"How do I figure out what's wrong with me? First of all - I know that reddit can't diagnose me, and that I should see a professional psych, but this is me attempting baby steps. 

For some background, I've tried seeing psychs over five years and it wasn't very helpful, but it's (usually) not their fault: every time I'm in there I start compulsively lying, avoiding topics, posturing - and worst of all, I can't just stop. I never know I'm doing it until a few days later when I reflect and realise everything that came out of my mouth was bullshit. It happens even if I'm consciously trying not to do it or the psych calls me out on it. 

With seeing a psych being a bust, I've decided my second-best option for now is self-help and community support. My problem is I can't figure out what's wrong with me - I have some ideas, but there's just too much to unpack, and I have difficulty understanding diagnosis questions online. 

For example, I was looking at NPD - ""Are you essentially a modest person?"" What does this even mean? Are they asking if I like to brag, does it still count if I want to but understand it's off-putting, does it count if someone doesn't brag but shows off subtly? What about people who are justified in it or trying to gain confidence through it? 

Another one - ""Do you think you deserve special treatment?"" What if someone never thinks of it in those terms, but has a need to stand out or they'll feel something is wrong or gets depressed? What if they don't think they ""deserve"" it but still pursue it?

Does anyone have suggestions on how I can approach this in a way that's helpful to me, or if there's a particular way I'm supposed to think about these questions?",6.161028852251111,6.0430624427710855,6.614495878249844,78.762463538364,66.13855421686748,9.519594166138237,31.3291058972733,9.134995656068208,2.5067506024096384,1329,46,260,21,19,433,166,332,0.139,0.775,0.086,-0.9682,0,1,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,3,5,3,16,11,0,1,9,0,27,2,1,2,4,71,53,29,0,11,23,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,30,15,0,2,18,1,0,3,10,8,0,3,4,5,31,3,36,46,8,36,0,1,4,0,17,14,0,17,17,185,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869808597515676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248250758603192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690947785476237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878631362758982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584994728497332,0.11856110188093345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685307015652678,0.0,0.08928346915064668,0.10521420638283087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628593913859547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693484186194044,0.0,0.08733925636054184,0.0,0.09316424190894862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241435211210256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817439040085757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054158837747175684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916674924282182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084462876002584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702117789698765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393926195094793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050643756361086194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704952400458987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291772635655327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620310527674026,0.07686366387774844,0.15990022689494532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024369244155611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186580863565463,0.0905131940887976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919002359902893,0.0,0.10420840526427837,0.2322491329142993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24781430297909485,0.0,0.10814151722574132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566404824581466,0.07980366130879002,0.0,0.0,0.07337211949093389,0.0,0.1655683620125716,0.08666562759948114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763380367546368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656883281202323,0.0,0.0,0.060445834706293625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21113799359211347,0.0,0.0,0.2158304847700761,0.0,0.0,0.11416846010520144,0.08553156612241049,0.06114221868401526,0.16456329403657527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34001262151710004,0.0,0.06675458571455664
mentalhealth,HookerGirlTempAcc,2019/04/10,"Help, I Guess? This is a throwaway account, because I'm not comfortable putting this in my normal one...idk, anxiety problems.

​

Basically I have always struggled at least a small amount with anxiety, be it just being around large groups of people, or just talking one on one.   It's gotten to a point where it's interfering with relationships though, and I need some help...my first step; I've tried so many times to find a therapist, but I feel like they all treat me like a child, as if I don't understand how my own body works.  Are there any good resources for finding a therapist?

​

And now I just want to type...I'm divorced, and I accept that it was at least partially my fault due to anxiety, but my ex spouse was also borderline, and emotionally abusive.  This has caused me to shut down completely any time anybody comes to raising their voice even a little bit.  It makes having serious conversations hard.  My current SO has taken it upon them self to call me out on my shit...and I appreciate it...it made me realize I need to do something.  I've tried in the past but I don't think I was really committed to it because I wasn't convinced it was an issue.  I don't know where I'm going with this...I just actually want help, because I can't mentally handle the thought of someone being even slightly irritated with me.",5.087829457364343,6.292494527131783,5.9162790697674446,78.17503875968995,68.84496124031008,9.29922480620155,31.77519379844961,9.586721724236666,2.9865333333333344,1060,45,199,23,18,348,152,258,0.112,0.762,0.126,0.765,1,0,1,0,1,0,50.0,0,0,3,2,16,11,0,1,10,0,19,1,1,4,2,44,37,15,0,7,10,2,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,12,11,0,0,9,0,1,4,6,4,0,3,9,3,28,7,27,25,7,27,0,0,0,0,15,16,0,4,9,129,40,1,0.0,0.1239714319347511,0.10210542690061726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367391712131424,0.08706194007414249,0.2267367642896561,0.2542778887159052,0.1423062614737796,0.0,0.24012884765891165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314437888046362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134750389364505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142306957763594,0.1162222095502782,0.0,0.0,0.10684064434925301,0.0,0.0,0.10748555803215172,0.0,0.09013092805859904,0.10970432633973604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176965575624929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821647637674087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290492150864447,0.07474889348047699,0.0,0.0,0.19126292089222413,0.08899965401180301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946459528596496,0.08776008941615167,0.0,0.0,0.1152635923890772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372943400268384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21039722976397632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920829031432708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750283526709776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223550791797437,0.10486843162464904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900502601024776,0.06984245923531011,0.10608010147067093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544412434520138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516613066672474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251683151485634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21270340385871925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988277839192164,0.07253843292563891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891075805334153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001183874547126,0.0,0.10518373840157927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670297337979111,0.0,0.0,0.11233526758107316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915366211943557,0.0,0.10740291647134594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865408337451981,0.08055057951711503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093837504684462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409898143627552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242970891174008,0.0,0.06704375604462667,0.10280009488140653,0.08306586687252061,0.12202314869108402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207608575850625,0.0,0.0,0.10892526947115512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342895218560945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617310958665305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542778887159052,0.0
mentalhealth,sloweatinggirl,2019/04/10,"I used to have some issues sleeping and I still don't know what was wrong with me... Please let me know what you think or if you have experienced this too. (skip to 4th paragraph for the actual sleeping issue) 

When I was 11 I lived with my mum, she was never in a very good mindset. I stayed home most days, I only ate a piece of toast with honey on it each day. My mum never left her bed and I never left the house. I would spend all day in my room on my laptop...

There was a point in time where I just started falling apart. I was so lonely, but I had such bad anxiety from lack of socialising my stomach would hurt me to the point of not being able to walk if I was told I had to go to school. I was cry and scream about how sick I was. 

At night I started feeling paranoid, like I was being watched through my bedroom window and I didn't have curtains to cover it. After days of not talking to anybody including my mother I would sit in bed until 2 in the morning. If I tried to close my eyes something strange would happen... It's really hard to explain so I'll do my best.

I could see my eyelids, it was black but it was like and even blacker black was drawing images in my eyelids. All I could see was scribbles, nonstop scratching around everywhere, it would contort to different shapes and the emotion it gave me was gut renching. For some reason my mind associated the visuals that I could only describe as ""death"". It was an entirely different level of fear that I've felt in my entire life. It's strange because I didn't even see any images like you do when you daydream or have actual dreams. It was just black moving scribbles nonstop. 

I've been through quite a few much more terrifying things than seeing things when I close my eyes but that experience somehow petrified me and if it started happening again I would instantly feel the same way.

I would stay up to insane hours of the night (for a kid), staring at my ceiling because if I had to close my eyes I'd see death. Sometimes I would test it to see if it's still there and it would never leave. I'd have to wait till I pass out and then I'd wake up in the night and have to do it again. And even for an entire month I woke up at 3:03am the exact same time every single night. Didn't matter how late I stayed up.

One day it just stopped. I was living with my grandmother, about 13 of 14 and it finally went away and I could sleep peacefully once again.

I've been trying to figure out what it was, searching up keywords trying to describe it to people but nobody knows what was wrong with me... I added the stuff about my situation as hopes that someone could link the issue to maybe my eating habits or lack of socialisation...",3.5160029591104736,4.829354795955883,4.356325322812051,87.46216822094692,72.73161764705883,6.998493543758968,25.768292682926827,7.407850130929222,1.1439732424677185,2115,68,439,23,41,681,246,544,0.136,0.807,0.057,-0.9921,2,4,1,0,0,0,56.0,0,4,0,2,28,13,0,1,19,0,54,13,9,4,7,91,82,38,2,23,18,3,5,3,1,9,2,1,7,1,31,25,2,2,11,1,1,6,10,7,0,1,33,22,66,6,71,32,16,80,0,2,14,0,15,34,0,14,38,315,97,3,0.06386714243416138,0.0,0.12465023613937135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04343184695286387,0.0,0.04885818915007726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056855297386914284,0.0,0.0,0.0600052826946616,0.0,0.05332639620020307,0.0778656344689613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670246256950921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549635815849965,0.0,0.07015505699395748,0.2059451163658395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334551408307213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653520311597352,0.0,0.07184193895607308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265509356971929,0.0,0.053810822068047146,0.0,0.0,0.06247432044440417,0.0,0.07186829136096284,0.06458629241525235,0.0,0.06132247244219032,0.06996333273536462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03629716886420888,0.05356872891772572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295500626010385,0.0,0.05721241483577566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406395126995885,0.06343448318864492,0.06289627024150675,0.07369410740233694,0.06837109690742846,0.0,0.0,0.1999821104901859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529913363523348,0.0,0.07204491852264881,0.06762608215040418,0.13878367425490604,0.06530848027021807,0.04511125147704319,0.09360677921807188,0.0,0.1127917137393121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416312890251487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448760738277097,0.0,0.05097814376286662,0.06788066495998764,0.046949698336702164,0.0,0.19703311011866026,0.0,0.0,0.23973994678231797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801642229434206,0.04327802860802552,0.09714767956968112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044277434940660235,0.0,0.0,0.07010694344978965,0.12075018657013922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793056754068533,0.0,0.0,0.04091492685497165,0.06566605947986946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06463695784737368,0.30536306167932364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178934402436736,0.19173979956183976,0.0,0.05411442252775404,0.04916804651208456,0.06316623694598902,0.0,0.1356164764118325,0.2042216281233514,0.10200876489694484,0.05339579085628916,0.0,0.0,0.07311259800716223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05133398984422138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486098305444391,0.04092348602962748,0.0,0.0,0.07448288871862742,0.0,0.0,0.06102779156210163,0.0,0.13008479209038246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055160705049380525,0.0,0.05269708121643419,0.0,0.050694764893455854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920548089398706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083244699265285,0.13965738843953845,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blueghostont0ast,2019/04/10,"I think I've started hallucinating after smoking weed quite rgeualry for about 6 years, is this my imagination or should I stop? Hey guys, recently I started seeing stuff in my vision, when high and when sober. Only way I can describe is that I will see an unknown figure or animal moving round my flat or outside, and it stays a bit longer to just be ""imagination"". The scary part is that it happens when I'm not high, it actually gives me a shock because I feel like I'm either hallucinating or I am in a state of derealisation and my mind is overreacting to my imagination. This has only started happening quite recently in the last few days, also yesterday accompanied by a distinct voice, of which I could not understand the words. When I look back, smoking has always caused anxiety but in the last couple of years it has seemed his shift to extreme paranoia when high, and sometimes I am convinced there is someone recording me through my window. My plan is to quit, I have a little bit left which I will use to taper off then that's it. I just hope these symptoms are not permanent but if they are at least I can recognise them. Thanks for listening it means a lot, anyone else been in a similar situation?",7.8913636363636375,7.25066225974026,8.263820346320347,70.10144480519482,62.766233766233775,11.163203463203464,36.56601731601732,10.504223727775694,3.773383549783549,966,40,176,20,12,320,139,231,0.043,0.89,0.068,0.8181,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,4,11,5,0,0,12,0,22,1,0,2,1,36,42,18,0,4,13,0,2,1,0,3,1,2,1,1,15,4,0,1,9,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,7,26,4,21,36,7,36,0,0,4,0,7,12,0,8,21,126,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.10989677595046407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005881471637216,0.09370536721278748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615077889412036,0.0,0.0,0.07874358593310257,0.1153881956031904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659459897934486,0.0,0.06864954652719947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24589457311841084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156874482339447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991455281206351,0.12460724091157888,0.0,0.0726278746429114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407605050590184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056941932296815476,0.08045275014975159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803133719482996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150734760833228,0.199171560358225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569543277775395,0.0,0.11185289980071032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835938155534164,0.0,0.0,0.12235739640413106,0.0,0.0,0.05501839152378886,0.1128706170118461,0.0,0.0,0.0945689091365272,0.0,0.0,0.09574192613326728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12267162084830108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137098550250948,0.0,0.0,0.11969277330747145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712987813972474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12195193726450587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593422969304074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223890332112755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948042465211073,0.10252119492952493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12658487781853114,0.0,0.0,0.09541900203978744,0.0,0.11137990595582503,0.0,0.2391301289916308,0.12003345898207048,0.0,0.09415185155157532,0.0,0.0,0.12891814811109875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705093620599047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368149839512134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215965752814818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723701959609648,0.0,0.09726389346432532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938918034825742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504176612277772
mentalhealth,feelgoodbegood,2019/04/10,"To those out there needing good energy 7 months ago on August 24, 2018 my relationship of 14 years with whom became wife ended... through basically drunken tragedy. It was the last time I saw her, it broke my heart and shattered my perception of reality, morality, and everything in between. She was my world; every day I would wake and meditate on her needs, and every night I would do the same.

She was my best friend, for half my life..  and i treasured every moment we spent together. It was my life's goal to give her a comfortable and rewarding life.

It wasn't until her mother passed of extreme alcoholism and other substance abuse when I became aware of her life experience in ways I never thought possible.

I thought my separation from her would be the end of my life; as my clock, motivation, and love of our world was based upon her happiness.

I was wrong, i'm given a new life through service, family, friends and my desire to be helpful to others and continue to learn.

For those out there struggling to make sense of it: life is a gift. With it comes consequences and opportunity. I hope sincerely you have found the opportunity I have, as your gifts and contributions are not confined to any one person.",8.077109144542774,7.708616371681416,8.097477876106192,70.55191002949853,62.27433628318585,11.781120943952804,36.08997050147492,11.20814326018867,4.0493758112094405,964,39,174,24,12,313,135,226,0.078,0.708,0.214,0.9868,0,0,1,0,1,0,31.0,2,2,0,6,3,16,0,1,7,0,17,11,2,2,1,36,31,16,0,7,1,2,0,0,2,3,8,0,0,1,11,18,1,1,6,0,1,2,3,3,0,2,13,1,34,13,32,13,2,29,1,1,1,1,23,9,0,1,17,122,45,4,0.0,0.13828064003639698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034551570703388,0.1247260301453908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936586925985567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122478504906333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053414907377424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526741010086932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20673840719165384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29499615848616656,0.0,0.1048901895766239,0.11416343297281675,0.11002250782964468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12796498683006,0.1803375932200788,0.0,0.0,0.1119575507388496,0.0,0.09788966009930476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423850486705056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830028630263902,0.07822733334499263,0.0,0.0,0.11591800147897074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951331088454966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5770432888872525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533409352567766,0.0,0.07790391555578541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315571353400648,0.0,0.0,0.17307593794559795,0.09001288889758574,0.11271792033678825,0.0,0.10952314147116628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790847868859134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019054724498093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315714424595502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530138966166404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220091983152961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18530722856142925,0.06805373962745061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263787669586628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487193827374318,0.12760256366825326,0.0,0.0751565300939382
mentalhealth,xeroxtheunicorn,2019/04/10,I believe my fiancé maybe bi polar or BPD. Please help! This is what happens. Me and my fiancé will get into a petty disagreement. This don’t happen often at all but when it does it’s hell for me. Just so you know everything I am going to say is him repeating himself. He does the same things over and over when this happens. First he will call me at work and tell me he has moved out and went back to his moms. This usually consist of me telling him okay baby I understand. The next thing is he will insult me. Calling me names like a lose or ass hole and more. Then he will ignore me for a while and tell me he don’t love me and hasn’t in a long time. Even though this can’t be further from the truth. Next he will call me and be very nice asking how am and that he’s thinking of coming back but I need to change even though yet again remind you guys I am not abusive. For example this argument right now is over me calling him a crab ass.... Next he changes his mind within hours and accuses me of harassing him and saying why don’t I get it. Next he will usually try to go for a promotion in his job. The next thing he’ll do is take a new picture of himself and post it up. He only take pics when he’s in this mood: He will also do things like trying to exercise and talk to old friends he didn’t talk to before. Next thing he usually does is cut his hair. He always get a hair cut buys new shoes or clothes: Next he will completely block me on social media and phone numbers . He will also bring up an old fight we had a long time ago. It’s also is always around the same time for example every November or April every single time! Everything I just said is fully accurate on he will do these steps in order. He does everything I just mentioned when he goes through this. The thing is when he don’t do this  he is the best human on the planet. He’s borderline a saint. It’s just when he does this he become hate to say very mean... This isn’t the same fiancé. He also does realize he’s doing this.... He don’t realize he’s doing the same thing over and over... Also sorry for any typos at work on lunch no time to proof read...,1.4703470289736489,3.2684460581655483,3.0753740383041435,92.43211163856607,79.46979865771813,6.329655699241557,20.074698532220214,7.313800181584829,0.3831674469362136,1656,41,370,22,41,546,194,447,0.124,0.7929999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9654,1,0,0,0,1,0,46.0,1,2,0,6,28,18,7,0,21,1,42,9,5,1,3,51,65,38,0,1,11,1,2,2,1,11,1,4,0,2,28,20,1,2,6,2,1,7,11,9,0,1,4,6,37,8,43,48,8,72,2,1,0,4,70,24,3,5,41,232,65,5,0.0,0.07260452221121079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05431933383733728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24502035183924195,0.10197656771749013,0.0,0.0,0.04167120586057844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455049618879464,0.05728674681483788,0.0,0.0,0.09423814504385182,0.0,0.0,0.06767684146302685,0.052143145431425265,0.0690394288404828,0.0643075800598489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717761540953087,0.0,0.2502871448576363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964819847852038,0.052785652839694566,0.06424891665840768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32174924285837275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094720753352345,0.0,0.10325887574425106,0.0,0.16521840143745972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052123116234480564,0.0,0.0,0.04734330412781283,0.0,0.0960458263058076,0.0,0.06965150699385073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060674948098528164,0.16256405088952838,0.0,0.0,0.06049943228969466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04107341533764496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034657996333671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060809053842307635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033676838407053086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987476380293606,0.0,0.0,0.10845837138888828,0.0,0.06855451388512934,0.0,0.0,0.0553058731212833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615620826822614,0.06674980965628148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061873407447306586,0.07176816416005356,0.0,0.0651289171876693,0.0,0.04543693093078602,0.0,0.118365531842198,0.4561896439210046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12860210506558156,0.0,0.0,0.04660475248288689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726494675491754,0.0,0.0,0.058687476102788426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061294677642114624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05233115824331342,0.05828950081085363,0.14619240180754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246530083783178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859581035070307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214700245270656,0.09850602304640596,0.16067926770266314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849731038103744,0.03926452892330115,0.12041083426478436,0.0,0.17865874966432993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320760810090959,0.0,0.0,0.0637926578991441,0.0,0.0,0.2024674927489103,0.10112169173946912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056805407909211535,0.05529394946677182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922236583976824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,danollo,2019/04/10,"my mom is trying to control me 
I turned 18 in March, and since then I’ve been trying to sort myself out (look for my own apartment, get my own phone bill, get a credit card, job, all the unfun but fun the first time kinda stuff) and my mother was threatening to kick me out during a heavy state of psychosis, so I called the mental health line to get her help - fast forward to Monday April 8th, as she was getting discharged from the hospital I got a callback on a job, and she proceeded to tell me that I don’t need a job and she will support me, as fun as that sounds - I kinda just want to do my own thing. She has left nearly every bill unpaid so it limits my options, as the house is about to go under soon. She keeps telling me she doesn’t want me to leave and wants me to stay with her for another year and apply for welfare (although it would be abusing it), she also doesn’t let me leave the house because she is in fear of us getting killed (??????? I know, but I guess its still part of her psychosis thing) I’m genuinely torn on whether I should stick around her rollercoaster ride or just walk out and never look back, she has caused me trauma all throughout my childhood and I want a fresh start asap. Thanks for reading :)


she has also forced me to get off of my antidepressants (for my super bad anxiety) and has told me that its just in my head, idk if this is the place to post this but ive been crossposting it all over in search of some sort of general idea on what to do when places start to open

tl;dr: my mom is trying at any cost to keep me as “her baby” and often uses stuff like “i raised you” to guilt trip me into staying - and wont let me start my own life",6.456615096905812,4.854405222543356,6.500826249574974,84.70566643998642,66.13872832369943,9.297245834750084,29.312478748724928,7.5105763829236425,1.5274626317579054,1301,31,288,10,17,415,185,346,0.11,0.785,0.105,-0.5592,3,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,1,1,0,4,14,12,1,2,13,0,26,3,1,3,4,55,54,29,1,8,9,3,0,1,0,4,2,1,0,0,16,18,0,4,2,1,4,5,5,5,0,1,6,3,55,7,52,41,9,49,0,0,2,0,26,23,0,10,20,203,71,5,0.0,0.11012885764494833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866187739282435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320821566407009,0.09746468109309003,0.07110540245054847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274393448607302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147171377333186,0.07760817437186662,0.056660586201587024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491088332694476,0.0,0.0,0.0954837863423315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424972602278516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07831317995823217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459298368503817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906200706203198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913707524127324,0.0,0.05282481493485741,0.0,0.07433946329136548,0.0,0.10239333013869743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539204957240244,0.09879998456714,0.0,0.0,0.06230146791067085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145003429816565,0.0,0.10492762298937257,0.0,0.0,0.2767113437359461,0.1652339213764887,0.10283382240293404,0.0,0.051082103840215165,0.0,0.0,0.19683823207969786,0.1009888944220655,0.19009242273729324,0.065652324556486,0.04540997680692874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610677999153974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936702978926693,0.0,0.0,0.21772048609394776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689201876949647,0.07168766810020227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065424468737497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19422294732853512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901903771866318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297372426478316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688801848602521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973684310027977,0.19814161910111355,0.07422884891620235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280775222903314,0.0,0.10547693695008224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248229596354993,0.08557455619898227,0.0,0.0,0.12350180097548433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054199059258513725,0.0,0.0,0.08881634287267808,0.0,0.1893179353387464,0.10110135446072872,0.0,0.0,0.11180568653116987,0.0802777221223722,0.0,0.0,0.21929390170581328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660279980572368,0.0,0.0,0.05985583232493734
mentalhealth,Rajesh_habibska,2019/04/10,"I have a feeling my brother will try to kill me tonight. I really have a feeling he will kill me tonight, I have got some red flags like him staying up past his normal time, and he's really calm for some reason as he never really is.

​

Could someone help, I have no idea what to do.",6.389500000000003,4.965268283333334,6.960000000000001,80.78500000000003,66.16666666666666,10.0,33.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.5498333333333334,227,8,48,3,3,75,42,60,0.172,0.6679999999999999,0.16,-0.5868,0,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,0,9,0,0,1,1,10,12,2,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,9,2,5,8,2,7,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,2,6,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22515850381698632,0.2525079210527804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591676354679452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21014665193376267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620202451470498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928846992622976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345885024754407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4598147125428172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152387096066062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027336011686996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036064726623266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983750364460385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3993789349637569,0.2136599273520006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607396694056016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22149432331892827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117377469153352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14108712805256565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525079210527804,0.0
mentalhealth,dezoombiee,2019/04/10,"Casual depression is normal right? I may or may not be clinically depressed, and feel as though therapists and psychiatrists may not be accurate with diagnoses. They did diagnose me with depression, but I do not feel like I have enough background with the typical story of depression to accept that I actually am depressed. I am aware that depression shows up in different ways, but I feel like I will always have that doubt unless my brain chemicals are directly tested (which I don’t think I would actually go out of the way to do if I could). Although I have my doubts with my experience getting help, I want to know of ways to deal with these waves of sadness and depression. I am extremely open minded, maybe too open minded causing me to question everything, hence why I even question trained specialists. My experience with seeking help for anxiety and depression and with ED tendencies, did not seem to help me, (or maybe I was reluctant to let it help me). Overall I felt like my therapist did not get me, or did not understand the realities of depression, but of course they did, if they have received all this training and education. I have no idea what this post was for but any conversation about coping mechanisms or just stories would help.",10.79339207048458,8.953633471365643,10.261237885462561,61.92577753303966,57.8986784140969,15.071189427312774,43.8453744493392,13.662883650711644,6.112334273127752,1006,48,170,34,10,327,122,227,0.206,0.684,0.11,-0.9814,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,3,0,5,17,0,2,3,0,30,4,1,1,1,60,42,20,0,7,18,0,4,3,0,6,3,0,0,0,9,16,0,0,12,2,0,2,8,12,0,0,8,4,30,5,28,24,2,12,0,10,0,0,13,6,0,14,3,130,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.1667791569666371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711035515456896,0.0,0.0,0.0581108150665969,0.0,0.06537113646744733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539355416230612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778353560060598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822708485910224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809805541954244,0.662403123566548,0.17346552904800716,0.0,0.08927995874683056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829555614732858,0.0,0.05644074979346812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679944119090676,0.16717841567714847,0.0,0.0,0.12962246684281514,0.12209495437492307,0.08204806163049053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929109257599324,0.0,0.048564779425527005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28638595806719463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646577791910424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046962608551514684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738124868099549,0.0,0.12524372362116318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17169758964175946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725658791703957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372557293933196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184013397511801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19145332221264574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297620013859114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779299398767407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984345084658209,0.0,0.05475468568327449,0.08395691434255996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895934900916222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504022587624744,0.2034852980647168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710783514438785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140639453306915,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,test585,2019/04/10,"Intrusive thoughts - Don’t know what to do (Throwaway for obvious reasons) 
In the last couple of weeks I experienced intrusive thoughts that feel like getting stronger and stronger. It’s mostly related to violence sometimes it’s sexual stuff and they center around people close to me. It freaks me out so much and scares me because it’s mostly directed towards my girlfriend. 
I would never want to hurt her but the thoughts just pop up. It’s nothing too violent but that these thoughts of punching people I love just come to my mind scares me. 
I experienced something similar in the past and still experience it - I can’t walk over high bridges because my mind tells me to jump. It got to a point where I had to move because I lived on the 10th floor of a building and I couldn’t go an hour without thinking about jumping off the balcony. 

I’m so afraid to act on them one day and I don’t know what to do.",3.1216978609625663,5.5289026136363635,3.666965240641712,87.21199197860966,76.8409090909091,6.868449197860963,30.23930481283423,7.928766900206844,2.153454946524065,724,35,140,12,17,227,105,176,0.059,0.841,0.1,0.843,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,9,8,1,3,8,0,8,1,0,1,2,33,23,10,0,3,5,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,13,10,0,0,9,0,0,7,6,6,0,1,6,3,20,2,26,15,3,30,0,1,0,1,6,16,0,2,8,95,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572529456886913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582788310062175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216577706151806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626911924708978,0.0,0.09108213872811287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815075642661998,0.0,0.0,0.07141050185490397,0.10089526350903737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378722864173529,0.0,0.0802646799367365,0.0,0.11295511844401936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921802297940606,0.0,0.0,0.13908382273657133,0.0,0.1511904201324532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523343414590898,0.11512189679291368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899820205404382,0.0,0.12470932425433412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746625008683513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852055589144282,0.0,0.0,0.15010591782762184,0.10382083859541984,0.0,0.10892584749363424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551469683665918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09570159941431028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348207147507785,0.1958232145998656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350869200862514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452087149434844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827932022430001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087263177789736,0.13968080569163072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278704540051095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616753995426541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344188519148695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049495073161128,0.0,0.4484857038799394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330154518383627,0.0,0.11328677469583545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614138628849695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032626025217664,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SirHelixFTW,2019/04/10,"Thinking about Disassociative Identity Disorder I recently realized what disassociation is and that I do it all the time. Wondered if it was because of some disorder, and stumbled on DID. Took a bunch of online quizes (which I know are probably really inaccurate) and they all said I tested pretty strongly for it. What I do know is that my girlfriend of three years broke up with me like 6 months or so ago and I haven't been the same since. I want to find answers but I don't want to be so drastic as to go to therapy, and thought I would bounce some thoughts off of Reddit. Any thoughts or information are welcome, thanks!",5.7182563025210085,6.816570436974793,6.374275210084032,75.85620273109244,67.31932773109243,9.983613445378152,34.202731092436984,10.125756701596842,3.4871420168067218,498,23,94,12,8,163,83,119,0.048,0.815,0.13699999999999998,0.8605,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,3,5,0,0,3,0,13,0,0,0,2,29,26,12,0,4,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,11,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,8,1,12,4,15,16,6,10,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,6,6,69,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579037650242648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271864807772481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401145376505505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4287040454311905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709415844357723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629318101591397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20557305565035994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137317169250128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928517105874753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19027625068384152,0.20164944563212733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198158937056032,0.0,0.18466907838769794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779078939831791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471274394370155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17219164522643254,0.2138845452454672,0.0,0.0,0.11984095852276408,0.0,0.44544162024130896,0.10905841172868838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077966680730672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206297023325764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20282552618711835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328603982478908,0.0,0.0,0.1204408728742086
mentalhealth,HumanResourceCenter,2019/04/10,"Forced Loneliness *Goose* I am lost. I have been having a terrible past few months. Every now and then I’ll have a good day and use it for all it’s worth. 

I’m depressed. And I don’t know what to do. My brain feels like it wants me to hurt. Like, the more my friends show their love for me, the more I am upset and withdrawn. But if they are not speaking to me, I am miserable as well. I’m just unhelpable. 

Tonight I saw a ex friend streaming. I have a hard time losing friends although I did delete them off everywhere else as to not be triggered to talk to them. They said how they cared for me and I was like their brother, but then never messaged me, like ever. It was a bunch of mind games. But I saw them and clicked the stream. I ended up talking to people in chat, and they say and yells my name with joy and said how they loved me and missed me... I was almost sucked right back in. Which damaged my mental state a bit.

Later, I was supposed to play a game with my two good friends but I had missed it, I missed the start of the game. So I denied playing (if you know me well enough, that is a huge deal to me)

They kept trying to get me to join and eventually, my “sister” (not streamer friend) friend asked me if I was alright but then through talking I made them mad and they said things that really hurt and I didn’t help the situation and eventually we’ll, I’m positive they are upset with me, even though they say they are not.

Point of note, saying “take all the time you need” really pisses me off, same with someone shushing me.

In summary, my mental state will continue to deteriorate until I have nothing left and I kill myself from my forced loneliness.",1.2708112094395254,3.518561678466078,2.458311209439529,94.2098266961652,82.65781710914455,5.5365781710914455,20.331120943952804,6.816661863887847,0.2125050147492624,1295,37,286,15,36,413,169,339,0.16,0.643,0.197,0.9415,0,0,0,0,0,1,44.0,1,2,16,2,11,38,4,3,15,1,26,4,2,5,4,51,54,34,1,5,13,3,2,4,6,2,0,8,0,0,10,19,0,1,3,7,1,0,7,17,2,1,17,13,63,21,33,34,9,30,0,10,3,2,49,10,2,4,22,198,73,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937636867940756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277772501864692,0.0,0.0,0.07631085018150538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834638736626108,0.0,0.0,0.11078671621825399,0.0,0.0,0.10118367140039196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400277761201195,0.10231398075952466,0.08547685255289476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290382403105763,0.0,0.08789881491615299,0.1025433511533032,0.0,0.0655483002538677,0.08976992722328855,0.08361553162112359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050179656881189284,0.07089839130535375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.460044002782163,0.0,0.05184976606073058,0.0,0.0,0.16647869609051105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890119678476884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651971434317312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21248088751383992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979639357563437,0.0,0.10908144123896073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782655102799056,0.0,0.0,0.19393820318058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102623541496247,0.10833419314686152,0.0,0.17913927299616095,0.09390502987317907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20002486834481395,0.0,0.10020596911650892,0.0,0.07921389096044434,0.0,0.0,0.07358656788826154,0.07654142613125971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522522336334707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473756703764392,0.06880179709392384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381561789415037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12715372963050509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08475199028316775,0.2832051518922795,0.2367632866037075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155198777187264,0.0,0.0,0.08408729014223869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024388611779772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746175139119216,0.2393004986411484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593186964339197,0.0,0.09750460526928116,0.0,0.11573743157109588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673786958857822,0.0,0.0969448586165365,0.0,0.0,0.08571308707135933,0.0,0.0,0.05853540930843821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17846066771822666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,schuylersisters-,2019/04/10,Today I‘ll tell my teachers I’m suicidal. This is ending me and I’m so scared. Please wish me luck. Yes I go to a psych and a therapist but life is just.. unbearable.,-2.0173571428571435,-1.0601557714285708,0.9505357142857171,96.04008928571429,121.0,5.178571428571429,15.803571428571427,6.6274283507984215,0.28792857142857153,128,4,29,3,8,44,28,35,0.139,0.653,0.207,0.1281,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,6,6,4,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,15,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897634669120505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593052251773096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310802418208993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591194860542883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275406311901207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578560040376598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859491152561385,0.0,0.0,0.3798537981746307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101060156000565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762137165155772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jelly0906,2019/04/10,"I can't take it anymore I am a female living in Saudi Arabia. Everything I did to try and get out of here failed. I have nothing to live for. I hate what I'm studying, I hate my training job, I hate my house, I hate the people around me. I can't stand the idea of living here. I never felt like I fit in this community. I have no friends that understand, my family thinks I'm the worst daughter in the world for not wanting to live with them. 

I try to stay positive and have hope. But I just can't anymore. All the doors are closed and I feel like I'm suffocating. I haven't eaten in a few days and I always feel nauseous. 

Do I need therapy or maybe I just need to get out of here?",0.017219387755101682,2.0182786258503427,2.4421045918367352,93.91785076530614,85.87074829931973,5.579761904761906,19.391581632653054,6.9077264865688965,0.1699255102040813,526,15,123,7,16,180,81,147,0.21,0.7240000000000001,0.066,-0.9644,1,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,1,1,6,10,4,0,7,0,11,1,0,0,2,26,31,6,0,4,5,1,3,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,9,1,0,6,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,3,3,24,4,18,28,3,14,0,1,0,0,3,10,0,2,4,81,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003992028202564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623065525029626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772767776592605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852882366685641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885488421659313,0.0,0.12467050047382065,0.0,0.1337358974628938,0.09447713056654317,0.12697765392650387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217353905349584,0.0,0.13818697512800834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5222652893914961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313508984969211,0.0,0.1525950356124016,0.0,0.14929052461382042,0.0,0.0,0.13123452940229294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292181994991812,0.0,0.467105340753156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328596720281585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19611863271707525,0.10199687436076388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268943581833826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168327020650753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095747821540305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943312499214813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512357255712323,0.0,0.0,0.08473840077852135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957377399968602,0.0,0.0,0.13767356848580006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800258096380468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,endertribe,2019/04/10,"I Just stared at a blank canvas for 3h I used to paint by passion but i stopped around one year ago, recently i bought a blank canvas and some paint and Just stared",5.078823529411763,4.940550999999999,4.575294117647061,92.53882352941179,68.41176470588235,7.976470588235292,25.823529411764717,7.1686216300943375,0.795635294117647,130,3,30,1,2,39,24,34,0.077,0.857,0.066,-0.09,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,9,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,4,1,5,1,1,6,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,1,4,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016036159023649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4033126876020247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070000305026528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44733458714819496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37877209172494986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912918096636069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917508909089866
mentalhealth,Wetpoolnoodle,2019/04/10,"I think something might be wrong with me I constantly hear things that no one else seems to hear, such as wind blowing loudly In my ear and recently, screaming and breathing. My eyes also seem to play trucks on me, making me see things like faces masks and people when it's just branches and the such. Sometimes I get a feeling I'm not by myself and think there may be something wrong with me.",5.415844155844155,6.179156558441563,4.821194805194806,87.92607792207794,67.83116883116882,7.1989610389610394,28.387012987012987,6.742157984588678,1.2539059740259741,313,10,62,2,5,94,57,77,0.135,0.7859999999999999,0.079,-0.6808,0,0,2,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,4,4,4,1,0,17,15,8,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,5,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,8,10,2,8,11,0,5,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,4,4,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529771328207596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067200314406089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980095361923022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672360853819974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09994282119404717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4312027625934493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934562131894139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768972136774645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293189504096484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962524835685174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261864473473492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888789941250298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243594337324132,0.34829235767913724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945337597548659,0.18919390312462608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541734537834057,0.24514596486194404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4182982507199376,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Stef4nos,2019/04/10,"Help me , i cant take this So , me and my ex have been together for about 8 months and I thought everything was alright. I had my suspicions that something was going on because I felt sometimes like I was the only one trying, but I thought well it's because she is a little shy. About a week ago we had an argument , I got mad and she got mad. Two days later we met up and we talked about it and figured it out(Friday). But then , after we met she started acting weird... She wasn't texting the same , she was leaving me on read , ignoring my messages for hours , never texted me first (like the old times ). I asked her what's the issue , she wasn't telling me . I knew something was wrong so I told her to meet up the next day . She accepted but said only for about half an hour (something that made me anxious about what she has in her mind ) . We met , she was nice  and beautiful... She told me that she didn't have feelings about me anymore and she thought that we didn't match ... She wanted to break up with me .(She felt like this the last two months of our 8month relationship and she didn't say anything ).  Well , I can't change how someone feels about me so I just said maybe of we try we can be like we were some months ago ... She wasn't changing her mind . So we broke up ( Yesterday ) . Now I feel empty , I don't have someone to talk to everyday , someone to say good morning and goodnight. She motivated me to do anything by just being by my side . Now I feel that I lost everything and that I will never be able to fill that empty space with any other female, I thought she was the one. I need help because it hurts , someone that I spoke daily now is just a stranger ...

Yes this whole text may be cringy but I really loved her , and the feeling of someone you love losing interest in you is the worst feeling . The worst part about all this is that I feel like I'm the only one suffering ... Help",2.0287135377711323,3.961048513089011,2.999555721765148,92.99679057591624,78.26701570680628,6.041106955871352,23.74151084517577,6.9916214562510826,0.701884278234854,1460,49,318,16,35,464,173,382,0.138,0.716,0.147,0.1929,0,0,3,0,0,0,60.0,11,2,0,4,21,26,2,0,16,2,36,2,0,3,3,60,71,21,0,2,7,1,9,5,0,2,0,5,0,0,20,23,0,1,17,1,0,3,11,12,2,7,36,14,73,14,34,29,7,41,0,5,0,2,59,11,0,2,31,224,93,2,0.07905829530784718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016081737165118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05376235183379895,0.0,0.0,0.08931337064877873,0.07840458534772317,0.0,0.0,0.13011648167007364,0.0,0.07390883402744715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14457960908128875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672663873596783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197212028794776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14210499622876754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27981974680543936,0.05647926196452036,0.1518167229836439,0.0,0.0,0.06724694560190593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04493065112257987,0.06631034720880702,0.12646028174081256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897332660252206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557129915947364,0.0,0.084633540249606,0.0,0.0,0.0825163203114336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444306244600917,0.0,0.08371131961432006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931194484933472,0.07923718125785892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844601012072124,0.08630146836624347,0.0,0.1427063963145224,0.07480687056989532,0.0,0.0,0.07942468379385688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596526825485975,0.0,0.18931073116377095,0.0,0.0,0.05862072422674624,0.12194926226144027,0.0,0.08407939395670093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295838188886769,0.0,0.1607158408360845,0.18038218825453256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561242964376209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907968960533733,0.0,0.05064676837755548,0.0,0.0,0.08487902241954946,0.0,0.0,0.1504050860104446,0.12574065919284905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33492918530236826,0.18258881450048334,0.07819067557483747,0.0,0.05595786832970705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05944199914525316,0.1270881261868929,0.06910043473447841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510538223086016,0.04609952776397523,0.0,0.0,0.15108717827092574,0.0,0.10735078598245933,0.0,0.15445693379232686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046630630902369366,0.0,0.06341579577309467,0.0,0.14216580400266182,0.0,0.0,0.08826576337671957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643783514001466,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hulumeme,2019/04/10,Homicidal thoughts So basically iv always been shy and stuff my whole life i try my hest to help people and think nothing of it and expect nothing in return and never had any hate in me but recently im having urges to hurt people verbally and physically and im not sure if i can control myself anymore i wanna kill someone or something to get rid of this hate and anger and i dont know what to do anymore i dont have anyone to talk to about this so here i am on reddit hoping i can find reason and not act on on all this hate the part of me that has a sense of reason is getting smaller and smaller and in not sure how much lobger i can control myself  im a danger to msyelf and those around me,2.832475429975428,3.890667763513516,4.5667321867321835,86.28539312039314,74.06756756756758,6.733169533169535,24.94103194103194,6.980632752743323,0.9551405405405412,551,17,116,5,11,187,88,148,0.166,0.7390000000000001,0.095,-0.928,0,0,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,6,0,3,0,13,2,0,5,4,35,22,18,1,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,13,0,2,6,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,3,0,15,3,20,19,4,11,0,1,0,0,2,7,0,3,3,86,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289928325069768,0.0,0.0,0.08409651964605913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452851308446939,0.08646952457596525,0.0,0.0,0.11008817190920528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774018864625203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898691902586621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302767578740175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921983820790434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662810992185989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289012061301214,0.0,0.0,0.12282736369699156,0.0,0.0,0.13238606455162585,0.0,0.4007386394785529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681712851931566,0.0,0.06796311371913312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734832875550373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090808946794453,0.0,0.09537816129487353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23732002844353586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133917269723257,0.0,0.17146764130963618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542966716161719,0.122104383136834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478105161356333,0.09520344815060226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156697138292695,0.0,0.0,0.2331058169277873,0.0,0.0,0.09939733601774683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923961305653987,0.0,0.09817628870320612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396049628095162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806768585629772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dragconbee,2019/04/10,Violence Does anyone else have periods of extremely violent thoughts towards others? No action! Just thoughts.,8.319166666666668,12.460724250000005,7.140000000000002,53.3716666666667,87.75,12.133333333333333,49.08333333333334,9.725611199111238,8.893608333333336,92,7,8,4,3,28,15,16,0.453,0.547,0.0,-0.8953,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975162811806548,0.4359703262329516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723538972092256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554468133881768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6755916482329094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jade710,2019/04/10,"i realized i don't really have any close relationships? im a 20yo female, attractive, relatively intelligent but I recently realized i don't have really any close relationships? my family isn't close, except for my sister and i becoming closer in the last few couple years, i don't talk to any of them unless i have to, i live apart from them and don't really miss them at all. i don't have any close friends, i have acquaintances and people to go to parties to etc, but i haven't had close friends since high school. the men I've had relationships with are always way more into me than me into them, even the people i dated for several months i didn't really care about breaking up with, although they would be extremely upset. I've never really told anyone this, it isn't a side of me i display, i really care about the world, animals and people as a whole, i just individually don't see a need to get super close to them, or i guess even the people i do get close to im okay with cutting ties with. is this normal? i guess what im asking is, is this something that i should seek help for? has anyone had similar experiences and learned why? also im sorry if i posted this in the wrong thread, i dont rlly use reddit.. anyways thanks",3.2756024096385516,4.893448317269076,5.330560240963855,79.01993674698797,73.85943775100402,8.835421686746988,23.293373493975906,9.3871,1.9566400000000002,977,27,192,24,20,339,126,249,0.077,0.7829999999999999,0.14,0.9444,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,6,1,7,12,1,1,10,1,28,0,0,1,2,37,42,13,0,5,7,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,7,18,0,0,3,0,0,1,12,4,0,0,5,1,33,8,30,34,5,28,0,1,1,0,17,18,0,4,6,129,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782007898224458,0.0809710754080542,0.0,0.0,0.2647009937756704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13608511495422118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097324218788706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747305496028807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19843139378374225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767347271933173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404851093919842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852819567865643,0.12854683368881795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518945121675873,0.09173674852865643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036545490409164,0.0,0.10168262531292067,0.0,0.05530444445539445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143994729083946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522593738954356,0.10281508466878304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204530562450923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932197015924727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592795612876923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767321828101535,0.0,0.0,0.07215534397861917,0.07505273162761704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953447406308098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698545388445086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319764646701756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740419493507997,0.0,0.09608349934312584,0.3134288328933937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984845693725888,0.07754477374692176,0.0,0.0,0.10993444837230802,0.0,0.08049718968044693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491525048360266,0.0,0.10893240784433154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821540574237297,0.0,0.08959147885208621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298543699945956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404600810428392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724144601244556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780861431395731,0.108644964762765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912739316854177,0.1063949961308951,0.0,0.06266550215515368
mentalhealth,2y2cc,2019/04/10,"Need help for a friend to be admitted to treatment without parents' consent (Philippines) Hello, I would like to ask this question on behalf of my friend (22 years old) who has been dealing with schizophrenia for 7 years. 

Yesterday she had a relapse and wanted to get treated at a hospital but they said that they couldn't confine her unless one of her parents were around. Me and my friends were more than willing to accompany her for the night but the hospital requires parental consent to be admitted. The thing is, she's estranged with her parents and they've denied her treatment when she was still living under their roof, reasoning that the medicine and occasional checkups with a therapist should be doing their job.

Thing is, she's been wanting to get treatment for schizophrenia (which requires being confined, I think) but the hospitals we have went through that offer treatment for mental health require  the consent of parents. She's been consistently taking her meds, visting her psychiatrist, and actually has a stable job for her to be able to live on her own.

Is there any way around this dilemma or is there any more options we could explore for her to be better? Thank you so much for your responses.",10.72981651376147,9.38222620183486,8.988146788990825,69.4502018348624,57.62385321100918,11.288807339449544,44.735779816513755,9.888512548439397,4.61739119266055,984,50,158,14,10,297,125,218,0.051,0.84,0.109,0.9033,7,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,2,4,4,7,7,0,0,11,0,26,2,0,1,0,37,39,12,0,7,6,5,0,1,3,3,2,1,0,0,9,12,0,5,6,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,9,1,28,7,34,19,4,16,0,0,0,0,41,6,0,3,8,127,37,5,0.11393263133629515,0.0,0.11118181320456952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495619245016587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028483940197061,0.10651163052473188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007641537798741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096593533944368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745954014266635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640722050449297,0.0,0.1190501949545402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110505938045135,0.0,0.0,0.07636664118792265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261211130157184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055661728711413866,0.0,0.20120920162503464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265534691414453,0.0,0.11481729514610853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375359328875527,0.08447960250073311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691805650100207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955313105596133,0.0,0.07720369959314824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.632543520405355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763062180425086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171417204666648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083760227108695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098674655794492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856631596739765,0.0,0.0,0.10489385960268996,0.0,0.13228456633823174,0.15138355543532314,0.07300342976227593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344008357096758,0.09043441962728084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561669069093473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982699091275808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809344724144167,0.0,0.0,0.14673775830505092
mentalhealth,kylenreece,2019/04/11,"Borderline Personality Disorder Anyone here with Borderline Personality Disorder? I highly suspect that I have that, and possibly a mood disorder on top of that. I seem to match the symptoms of BPD pretty damn closely, with the biggest being fear of abandonment. It’s so bad for me, to the point where I become extremely paranoid about the idea that people I care about, my closest friends and family can one day disappear from my life. I hate the emotional roller coaster that comes with that particular symptom and of course the others. It’s so mentally draining. I am going to schedule an appointment for a psychiatrist soon but in the mean time, how do some of you go about maintaining sanity in a seemingly endless pool of insanity. I try positive affirmations but even those are defeated sometimes...",9.195478723404257,9.751284390070923,9.444033687943268,58.74562500000002,59.709219858156025,13.858510638297872,42.447695035461,13.023866798666859,6.3354460992907775,653,35,97,24,8,217,97,141,0.199,0.711,0.09,-0.9279,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,10,9,2,1,11,0,6,3,0,1,0,18,14,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,10,8,0,1,5,2,0,4,0,6,0,1,0,0,12,2,21,13,1,18,0,2,0,0,4,10,1,3,4,74,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261910358374013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253978246245024,0.0,0.16208662590527795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848410624183784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963320389456114,0.0,0.0,0.1264220992001772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946490727178668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5046044293336884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508701503673526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693463422588264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835374872357714,0.16514757075009026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338762654100662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681596708408514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489666829943176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506165868539154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656759510127162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366203862440472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598663766381144,0.0,0.0,0.1479011459793025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994494394693589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174599508382187,0.2562930877872513,0.0,0.0,0.13873712315992578,0.16545162120311568,0.0,0.14930928055585538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672124465080786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451509474833705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050829348132793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557785291255758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964147376834384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kittykatfatrat,2019/04/11,"Coping with manic highs Recently I’ve been seeing my therapist again and have been diagnosed with a sort of problems due to some untreated trauma... I’m experiencing this problem more at night than during the day.. I seem to be more irritated, sad, emotions ups&downs, irrational, moody, etc... I’m starting DBT after my vacation so I’m hoping that will help. But I’m wondering if anyone has advice to dealing with this short term?",5.1552747252747215,7.7771086666666704,6.304432234432237,69.7096153846154,71.30769230769229,9.585347985347983,30.37362637362637,9.957137785484203,3.699239560439561,348,15,54,10,7,116,62,78,0.205,0.7290000000000001,0.067,-0.8981,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,0,13,15,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,2,3,1,10,11,5,11,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,6,8,33,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174495498931709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411065154745542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555951514836087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351067484527358,0.2294142375181856,0.0,0.2258589130754501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25031147433144835,0.0,0.0,0.2481749903733976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915429379914855,0.23511063174280145,0.0,0.22101824144963345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20882530596758114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4258541063644936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21971729443588414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732418158993066,0.2025790502974048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750484395583098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583695022562547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24131964184501475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ash_Friday,2019/04/11,"I feel like i hear people talking in code I feel like I hear people talking in code to each other about me and ""food"" means something and ""water"" means something and ""alcohol"" means something. Using the bathroom means something. 

I act weird at work, I act friendly and warm but then I don't know what to say to people and I say nothing. Most of the time I am quiet. It makes people say Im trying to ""eat food"". I had a random panic attack today. I've never had one before but my body just started it after these feelings pretaining to the constant constant chatter of my thoughts. I started breathing heavy, I felt like I could catch my breath, then ran outside screaming. Then I went back in and went back to work. They were acting like they didn't know or hear but It seemed like they all knew and heard about it and afterward my co-worker was talking about a guy who took a huge shit in the women's bathroom and I felt like she was talking about me and that I had taken a huge shit metaphorically with my screaming panic attack.

When I get off work I go back to normal and my thoughts don't race anymore and I don't feel like people are talking In code words anymore.",3.3596476168963183,5.078784639484977,3.9299706347413625,88.72866726903095,73.84978540772532,5.591958436864693,25.567878924779762,5.750287758089431,0.7070309012875531,923,31,180,4,19,291,112,233,0.14300000000000002,0.7390000000000001,0.119,-0.899,0,0,5,0,1,0,23.0,0,0,3,3,9,18,4,2,8,0,13,10,5,2,2,44,44,20,0,2,5,0,7,7,1,0,1,10,0,2,9,14,5,0,16,0,0,9,5,9,0,1,18,17,31,9,22,25,3,34,0,0,0,0,20,9,2,4,23,112,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290628095716766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538711894025704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17651020284065613,0.0,0.1789559042432078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601236145882437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617062153382868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676664771462352,0.0,0.06193896729804345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938069617040854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569011632540384,0.16626319449017665,0.14897228033980162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876129698679823,0.0,0.05993584159303004,0.0,0.040530810267596924,0.0,0.044088829104840514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768134828122886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623049431975565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379653356046697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526864312934268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26530161945575403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178328776441129,0.0,0.0,0.3380166290990657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05983220862566145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600904442874465,0.074437278199264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052568221351696434,0.0,0.0,0.1820399223290404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26891081637835224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507716768534108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062323885844005,0.0,0.0,0.1592634678465311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388904333778699,0.0,0.0,0.1098188800838354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117674981730045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317503520796275,0.04523580563866648,0.0,0.07353397893490064,0.0,0.08619096445948958,0.05266972922936795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700166911978406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382941760390594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259080849570933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,daddyhattavo,2019/04/11,"I need Help. I don’t know what I have but I know something is wrong with me. I can’t be honest with myself and Im having a mental breakdown Hello I am a teenager and I have a problem. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I think I had a mental breakdown just now. I was just talking to myself thinking of an excuse or something like that to tell my teacher who said that she was worried about me this year. I don’t really have a good relationship with this teacher but I wish I did because she seems so nice and she seems nice with everyone else. So I don’t know why I come up with these excuses about procrastination but as I was talking to myself I noticed I was having a conversation with myself.  I started to try to find a rationale of my thinking and here’s the general gist of it.

I started stating that I don’t have the drive to do anything I initially said that I only made this whole façade of being something I’m not. A lot of people thought I was genius level thinking but in reality I worked hard to study when I was a kid. I have ADD so that learning disorder kind of affected me when I was young. I had a lot of potential but the lack of responsibility I had and the lack of me paying attention in class affected my grade and my social life. But always when I try to improve when I tried to get better in order to achieve my dreams there was some other extra steps and people who were just in front of me who knew more than me. I kept chasing and I kept chasing but these people would always be in front of me. As much as I studied I could never get the title of valedictorian. As much as I did community service I would never get anything from it. As much is I studied I knew that I would never get an SAT score better than a 1400 because I like the focus and the lack the test taking skills. But my senior year I just gave up.  I didn’t want to do anything anymore. I thought this was laziness and I kept convincing myself it was laziness but also trying to convince myself that was something else: that something was wrong with me and then I was trying to find anything that was wrong with me.

I noticed that I was trying to talk to myself trying to convince myself of something. I was lying to myself just like I lied to everyone else. I didn’t lie to escape the things I hate. I love science, I love chemistry, I love doing all these things but I started procrastinating because I didn’t have the drive anymore. I felt useless.

I didn’t want anyone to worry about me because I want to be alone. I want to be autonomous. I want to be free.

I don’t remember the happy moments; I don’t want to die either. I don’t know if I have depression, and I don’t know if I have anxiety but I just fell on the floor and screaming help me help me help me I was shaking. I was crying. I was pleading for help. I was pleading for God but I could not feel his presence. I could not feel my heart I couldn’t feel my emotions but I could feel them raging in the form of empty words. I kept trying to convince myself that it was an exaggeration, that I was over exaggerating myself and my situation, but I just kept crying and I just kept screaming.

I really want to know what’s going on with my head. I don’t want to be insane just want everything to be normal. My parents don’t believe in mental things like depression, anxiety or OCD (they believe these are just over-exaggerations or quirks) because they’re very Christian and they believe that God is the solution everything, which I don’t personally reject. But they won’t get me any mental help. I feel like if I wait any longer I’m going to go insane. Who am I? Am I lying to myself? Why do I feel like I’m acting out everything, even to myself? Why don’t I feel happy, productive, and content when I am alone, but sometimes feel this at random times or when with friends. Why am I willing to let strangers know about this?

I’ll take whatever help I can get. Im sorry for any grammatical errors because I am very shaken because of what just happened. I need help ASAP.",2.543419738896226,4.350609691839221,4.284151927398741,84.942992400199,76.32034104750304,6.574194987219298,25.20528040349282,7.417010946100692,1.2373496800535242,3171,112,636,40,71,1069,265,821,0.151,0.672,0.177,0.9654,1,2,6,0,0,1,64.0,0,0,4,5,29,38,2,1,28,0,90,6,2,4,4,148,164,58,1,28,39,1,10,6,1,5,1,4,0,2,40,31,0,7,33,1,2,12,26,14,0,0,48,14,144,25,88,97,15,50,1,4,0,3,40,16,0,13,26,478,184,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922093007607458,0.0,0.0383060071954364,0.07971409532778362,0.0,0.0,0.09772193408969154,0.0,0.07328749254814891,0.0,0.09500883623749264,0.033493138665520734,0.0,0.15767209843613733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439787288577324,0.0,0.0,0.16190235860493907,0.0,0.08472818748388873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04126203358853612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529785848432759,0.0,0.1052328853381479,0.0,0.0,0.08251324940026293,0.0,0.04971314954500837,0.0,0.05489811523938997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004414711474724,0.053881607745581483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03163782407210041,0.0,0.0,0.09154194817984644,0.12914962424089166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375942933766668,0.06844024398577331,0.04599198537973224,0.0,0.08756036619267389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03700780231034834,0.0,0.15015618441262304,0.0,0.08166886264911043,0.0401766611663853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04235824804177369,0.10198193167282746,0.04290943339159637,0.04729182027559427,0.049159725430512426,0.0,0.0,0.05676231520630921,0.25685352774242315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348150508522644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04988099265768409,0.21059886734413166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898149976897955,0.033833535011972976,0.1404105689084839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144657295160132,0.12969619612192976,0.045324604957054884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19308972376792835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563712225661123,0.07103521769143423,0.110831440241301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046932313207804895,0.0,0.10907005823552306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03643048364248322,0.0,0.0,0.053187829181500515,0.0,0.0,0.0996245124833793,0.04182486315166476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045834302996420696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061372565155478176,0.0,0.0,0.05142720355762728,0.054261921279100914,0.0,0.09112867648414452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721362018861173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053842161434405136,0.0,0.04882852067996782,0.0,0.2212568397465303,0.04737481269776511,0.053620680591357835,0.10171264712563206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203041936098367,0.11550180625664402,0.04186714245417699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954688779622113,0.12277080790808875,0.0,0.0760552823050137,0.02793116285564577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601703255017541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904584705535514,0.2542765681283299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17289097907490872,0.05347919015733658,0.05508320334708538,0.0,0.0,0.0348721296230773,0.09729055220672228,0.0,0.10208140834912624,0.20948667956394013,0.0,0.06169269442681088
mentalhealth,Delimaofhermes,2019/04/11,"I'm completely drained Hey guys I'm not sure if this is the right sub Reddit to post over but here goes.
I grew up in a very dysfunctional family every member including myself has his own bad traits 
But I learned to adapt and just go with whatever we throw at each other from misunderstandings and whatnot eventually I started to just take myself out of the equation and leave them to fight or do what they do best, the only thing I'm really good at in this life and which really gives me meaning is studying it's the only thing I couped with during all this year, nothing makes me feel satisfied in a sense like studying because in the end I know it will just pay off and my entire future depends on it.
Since the beginning of this semester I feel awfully drained when it comes to studying whenever I sit there to study I'm really mentally drained with their fights and how they continuously include me in those fights, I'm so behind this semester and whenever I sit there no matter where I sit at home - at college   I can't help but to feel more lost that the only thing that gave me a sense of control or stability is just ruined and I fear so deeply for my future.",5.904675324675328,6.230878320346321,6.527251082251084,77.65373376623378,66.66233766233766,10.063203463203463,30.785714285714285,9.957137785484203,2.835618181818182,936,33,182,20,14,307,136,231,0.182,0.746,0.071,-0.9782,0,0,0,0,3,0,7.0,1,0,4,3,12,11,3,1,10,1,8,1,0,4,2,39,27,18,0,1,11,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,18,15,0,1,6,0,1,4,3,7,0,0,2,3,25,4,30,24,5,32,0,2,0,0,14,16,0,4,9,124,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075666914434791,0.09546352022128524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434481665767514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489931404698666,0.1641948961359357,0.0,0.17564318506752136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387034633219764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319444845123478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763103853454726,0.17622151626700833,0.2375490114753648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502275290157237,0.08900089333311846,0.13135087053851302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506124179585548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049674533995466,0.0,0.1570852237761707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606471940736089,0.0,0.0,0.1658195917847383,0.0,0.0,0.11061308103263033,0.07650814313380533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095028869268927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453348306890173,0.0,0.0,0.1705861924781946,0.0,0.0,0.15781863507723795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502644636188127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35731011002349194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998204708120244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009709975762633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373780507643218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954332807996313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084415974239237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759614170286098,0.0,0.11774570128086374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121195207769858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12921358472492986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084697039991916
mentalhealth,elenamsix,2019/04/11,"long period of dissociation I cant remember how long it’s been like this but for awhile i think i’ve been in a dissociative state.  i go in and out of being present and it varies in severity but no matter what i’ve just been mentally checked out.. barely feeling anything, zoned out all the time, having difficulty talking and forming thoughts. it’s like in the book one flew over the cuckoos nest whenever there’s the fog. its like there’s a haze over everything and there’s nothing in my brain. why is this happening? is this a symptom of depression or something else? is there anything i can do to break out of it?",2.8019972451790665,5.221668586776862,3.9458057851239663,84.73264807162536,78.00826446280992,7.669696969696971,28.26515151515152,8.59863814320734,2.3068011019283747,493,22,97,11,12,160,75,121,0.096,0.815,0.08900000000000001,-0.5831,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,7,0,11,2,1,1,1,19,17,8,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,4,1,1,2,2,1,0,1,5,1,5,3,17,11,2,20,0,1,0,0,1,11,0,1,8,66,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484234662971832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363281238570189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823376022557862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17684886656658655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902630425011065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704229325795707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031445214460695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18720633206982285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102789752219141,0.0,0.0,0.37469711991450416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21334462954723948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20313264215712354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345395150109336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398157554510744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391616633705046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297763060399895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22003820618817976,0.0,0.17015709648347882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356493345230886,0.0,0.16806680036453556,0.12344444802092835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910270581107045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stacygreyson,2019/04/11,"Is it really that bad to be alone? I feel the sanest when I'm just by myself. Everybody keeps telling me I need other people, I need relationships, friends family. But truthfully, I'm happily content being just alone. 

From the outside people always say it's unhealthy but it always felt fake to be with others and at a certain point I just want to get out. Whereareas when I'm alone and I dont hear peoples input I don't get any stressors or triggers. 

If I can keep myself mentally and physically healthy, do I really need others that much? Is it really that bad to live like a total recluse?",2.5275574712643656,5.0126654913793125,4.455862068965517,80.33367816091955,79.43103448275863,7.659770114942527,25.18390804597701,8.59863814320734,2.1926459770114937,471,18,85,11,12,160,72,116,0.155,0.677,0.168,0.1691,0,3,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,1,3,24,23,9,0,5,7,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,10,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,11,4,9,19,2,5,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,3,57,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654279197647271,0.0,0.0,0.24928319415329886,0.0,0.0,0.1018658652046691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501454517039586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555884587228074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121357274320387,0.0,0.07574094839187599,0.0,0.14382687244667808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573139142560185,0.0,0.15652360735088247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688300647671053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26628969328340113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318236289006952,0.0,0.1322718962474928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095831829088904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011669955820333,0.3332137037499011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31154736920367543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160487167333524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28788790136353715,0.0,0.0,0.1608239736837225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912314661830442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309275976617749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835308352197485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Joboody,2019/04/11,"Im afraid of never being able to get past my fear/apathy towards social interaction I am an 18 year old guy, I'm in college (uk) and I dont really have any friends apart from ones I know online. Most people either irritate me or I am disinterested in having any interaction with them at all. Sometimes there'll be people that I think seem interesting and would like to get to know but it usually never goes past small talk. I can be very awkward when talking to others never knowing quite what to say or do so I usually end up looking at my phone or making up some excuse. Sometime I'll even just slip away the moment their attention is brought to something else. I find it hard to find common ground with people and even if we do have something in common I still find it hard to find anything to talk about. 

I would like a nice group of friends I can be myself around but i dont know where to start. All of these points extend to my love life too. I've only had one meaningful relationship which ended badly and has been a large factor in my approaching people since.

If anyone has advice on what I could do, that would be much appreciated. Thanks.",3.7846491228070143,5.434339745614038,4.928070175438599,82.2914912280702,72.59649122807018,7.522807017543862,24.070175438596486,8.167268648758528,1.3715070175438602,914,26,177,14,18,301,141,228,0.049,0.7909999999999999,0.159,0.9801,0,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,2,1,10,11,0,2,4,0,26,2,0,1,5,41,41,13,0,6,9,0,2,2,2,3,1,1,0,1,10,8,0,0,12,0,0,2,5,3,0,2,3,4,22,8,30,29,6,36,0,0,1,1,18,17,0,8,19,122,32,1,0.09840054129296072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615587010641348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383148475510614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880394639858242,0.0,0.08097526121461912,0.08759734387696944,0.0,0.0,0.0924505476924797,0.0,0.08216034178626654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856482529751073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23064940309271775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220102576859327,0.0,0.17430734551508062,0.0,0.0,0.12998525897278634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107279659334866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3597452482626157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520480282196899,0.0,0.10282044298600672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743200639109503,0.0,0.0,0.1762951143249052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062894702140609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163134563925546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06950321236494837,0.09614706814482607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263167187648625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881033033052861,0.0,0.06568312540577681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233571996171888,0.0,0.2276776909382436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325481533425462,0.0,0.1333575068122701,0.07483804575150822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878689018349218,0.27287418219571885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302031738758593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466108802710572,0.0,0.0,0.06303790644213393,0.0,0.0,0.10564535597407446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825205994469456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958015712723999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139794460067354,0.0,0.0,0.10030695997580813,0.0,0.1515070882056168,0.19464130286812792,0.0,0.06964840959196414,0.0,0.07858279938571942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23727188323507434,0.0,0.09059399789289686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305109362081539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167485886208704,0.08119075190504609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20970276385519773,0.0,0.0,0.06336672240419344
mentalhealth,Luna320,2019/04/11,"Ive changed and bf knows it I've been in a relationship for almost five years now. It's not a really good one but I can't seem to leave. My boyfriend always gets mad at me and tells me to grow up, I want to but I'm so confused and always seem to screw up. He said I wasn't like this when we first started dating and I know that I've gotten worse. He's angry because he said he didn't cause it but I'm trying to think and he's the only thing that has changed in my life. He has the most impact on me. I don't want to diagnose myself but I personally think I might have BPD but he is convinced I have little princess syndrome. I can see it but it kinda of hurts how it seems like he's made up his mind that I have it since I match alot of symptoms. I'm sorry for kinda rambling this is the first time I've talked about my relationship.",0.0889075391180647,1.94657023783784,2.176017069701281,96.8039971550498,84.45945945945945,4.975817923186344,17.844950213371266,6.05967700443912,-0.4828378378378382,654,15,159,5,19,219,102,185,0.17,0.7879999999999999,0.042,-0.9754,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,0,2,5,8,2,1,6,0,15,4,0,3,0,33,34,14,0,2,7,0,0,2,1,1,3,2,0,1,13,6,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,4,0,4,7,3,21,4,18,26,2,17,0,1,1,1,18,8,1,10,10,93,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585467487825778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257778918906893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270363990445867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17087258081275544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937124925384672,0.2870433629517576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13770297197811493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23080296906631426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088237580323177,0.0,0.0,0.1137942019419918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523836136617665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14912221015620167,0.0,0.0,0.14365575223164231,0.0,0.0,0.09582827452036112,0.13256376686780075,0.1359777498521897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837495948367633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392524320308478,0.13698879860564875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193402245247892,0.10318373135310842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846248009425912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08691416695974377,0.0,0.0,0.2913192593437735,0.0,0.0,0.2581079341460908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811203541196236,0.3705287106885775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222825989148487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187231537759432,0.09602846670222752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410138736258731,0.0,0.10904702285904992,0.11858222970381772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013362868404713,0.173864697838099,0.0,0.0,0.07911071488263187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211154467531624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16004426617998305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382601015684643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736752537594855
mentalhealth,annashae,2019/04/11,Walked into my house today and got hit with an overwhelming sense of “fuck everything” Title says it all. I realized it just now. My house is literally a beacon of dark energy. Every time I leave it’s like a breath of fresh air. When I walk in I have no incentive to do anything. I immediately braced myself to hear yelling and criticism and neither of my parents were even home. Three more years then I can get out of this fucking hellhole.,3.2212058823529404,5.556487282352943,4.518455882352941,81.59180147058824,76.17647058823529,8.014705882352942,25.919117647058826,8.841846274778883,2.1672647058823538,349,13,66,8,8,115,67,85,0.112,0.78,0.108,-0.1027,1,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,2,1,3,0,5,3,1,0,1,9,11,5,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,2,3,10,1,11,8,3,12,0,1,0,2,3,4,2,0,7,46,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18662721800976848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979134923735676,0.0,0.1910786893057221,0.0,0.2038224502466177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193237427176197,0.11848738084432435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18138309818322965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25560658255451546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22748687661618625,0.0,0.0,0.5233658550760246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24013576904362785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079717174425738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518212591974277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180350937211616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224191905172825,0.0,0.2149685266475844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604405023588676
mentalhealth,262581,2019/04/11,"I need advice. I am a minor currently living with my mom and dad as well as older brother. My mom is extremely fucking problematic and never respects my boundaries. Constantly forces hugs, kisses, affection, etc on me which I have non-stop told her about how much I hate it. She thinks shes entitled to take photos of me just because i'm her kid, and then she sometimes in the blink of an eye does a complete 360 and acts all caring. I keep going back from wanting to kill her to beating myself up because she is nice sometimes and that's not exactly the best thing to say, I guess. She always complains to my dad about her other relationships (we live together but they are not a couple anymore and my mom has multiple boyfriends), my brother is nice sometimes i suppose although its kinda just neutral but a lot he snaps, or just for the fun of it will hit, punch, just fucking hurt me for no reason. It's been constant for over 5 years, and he doesn't admit it is abusive when confronted. I just straight-up am SO TIRED of living in this house with these people and I really want to live somewhere else. I feel i'll end up either killing a family member or killing myself as this keeps up. The only thing keeping me tied to doing anything rash is my cat but hell, I really want to kill someone or myself.",5.060457770656903,5.8758587354085625,5.7331197070267805,80.88514076447701,68.64980544747081,8.226047150377662,30.68184939345388,8.313332769828598,2.2570285648889903,1033,40,194,14,17,336,156,257,0.229,0.685,0.086,-0.994,1,0,0,0,0,1,26.0,1,0,1,2,12,20,9,0,10,0,15,7,2,3,3,44,35,22,4,4,14,7,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,13,11,0,3,4,0,0,2,5,11,1,0,2,3,36,9,30,31,6,19,1,1,1,4,26,7,3,6,10,139,49,0,0.0,0.11401894377393458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094036598505152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800725642613208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543608459379167,0.0,0.0,0.0791905696372151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399631203313474,0.0,0.11732402079652855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098933415953996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811473078590036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008972085058368,0.20798477165997445,0.0,0.0,0.10647865327352016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842130942478912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038931838855341,0.0,0.08523280923234641,0.0,0.10732389163476523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071877401488483,0.0,0.048657688119900205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792949175548034,0.0,0.0,0.05469074802668025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601017391417204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500897683104004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103857367141699,0.10301812924475884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566057288777769,0.4258649028184756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398977599984019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181283272066933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33811655355236825,0.0,0.0,0.0707414435342681,0.07135465829506553,0.07421989452349853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318861816191273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667150114838621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232971069190897,0.0989423149324408,0.0,0.10331693647692633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652738761634399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153688950636043,0.0,0.2855271242942403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804540914563221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235433531969075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786426012700347,0.061661449993326026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106042946430659,0.0,0.09195360617336702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028002185294253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652394268122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197012233071265
mentalhealth,hotdogchillisauce,2019/04/11,"First episode; or paranoia? So last night I had just finished smoking with a friend of mine, and went to have a shower to then go to bed.

I undressed, looked in the mirror and then lost my gaze when the reflection started talking to me. It seemed more weathered and distressed than my regular face, and had an extremely hateful and angry expression, as well as the tone of voice. I could feel the words coming out from my end, but almost as if I was pushing the accelerator but with no control over the direction/words coming out or the tone. The best way to compare would be like Gollum in lord of the rings, as crazy as that sounds.

​

It felt genuine enough to scare me and had me shell shocked in the shower for the next 15 minutes. I've never had any psychological problems before, neither before I started smoking or now. I do have family members with severe psychological disorders though so I'm not ruling out the possibility.

​

Is this something I should be following up?",7.2702800982800975,7.770986091891893,7.042604422604422,74.52562653562656,63.75675675675675,9.321867321867321,35.737100737100725,9.095868883498916,3.2066756756756765,797,35,138,12,11,252,119,185,0.15,0.787,0.063,-0.9379,2,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,4,8,10,1,2,15,0,14,1,1,1,1,34,28,23,0,5,8,0,2,1,1,2,0,3,3,0,4,14,0,1,4,0,0,6,4,6,1,1,8,6,14,4,28,15,4,28,1,1,1,0,3,8,0,6,14,104,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833867565519506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29937397806466937,0.33573815572986315,0.09394769245822736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351133397572462,0.0,0.14498137573481912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23801040439205295,0.0,0.0,0.15494854737388786,0.11030265499319712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833347840760525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236113885776773,0.14274733102350814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023684898126153,0.0,0.06985350108908008,0.0,0.13264701333170306,0.0,0.0,0.1175115140738921,0.0,0.0,0.10673543239994797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851462686493432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639591034792986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261183347150094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749379793072731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601238544078987,0.0,0.15080857760519525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655087989698853,0.0,0.1469255859553441,0.12964573446934574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15574495091843538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321922363302623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831365658935835,0.0,0.0,0.1257678500324421,0.0,0.15607176382570515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635570063373853,0.0,0.0,0.19556855030111586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110408658368297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357330534661605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965815445567842,0.0,0.0,0.12421470394196975,0.1280677360303459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813879398338776,0.0,0.33573815572986315,0.0
mentalhealth,acenorm,2019/04/11,i miss the people i was with in the mental hospital. anyone relate and/or have suggestions on how to feel better i met a girl in the adolescent unit who i bonded with and i didnt get her contact information just have her name. got out today and i keep thinking about her and miss her so much. need help. thanks,0.7025089605734821,3.2339996451612905,2.3224731182795715,90.68148745519716,92.87096774193549,5.336200716845879,16.566308243727597,6.937597516519254,0.19601577060931907,246,6,49,4,9,80,46,62,0.052000000000000005,0.804,0.14400000000000002,0.7624,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,1,0,14,14,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,1,10,2,8,10,1,5,0,2,0,0,12,4,0,0,1,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24094222716944236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30475791475186353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17423280670227598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18003172658209282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755965412185098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309684292677852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30628346780532045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472611849906315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533100262958277,0.2555058176088412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388922316112644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172480760630913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22079650539901693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266268081663573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lilymegeve,2019/04/11,"Barely hanging on. I feel like everything is shit. I keep getting dark thoughts of ending it all, most of the time I can talk myself out of it. But atm I’m barely convincing myself. Therapy isn’t working. I don’t know what else to do.",0.5268750000000004,2.9177179375000013,2.7716666666666683,89.44000000000004,88.375,5.7,22.583333333333336,7.1686216300943375,1.0428083333333331,183,7,37,3,6,62,36,48,0.077,0.8170000000000001,0.106,0.079,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,5,1,1,0,1,8,11,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,6,2,6,10,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,3,24,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27590065233475103,0.0,0.2925237847380002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29682801230442146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16699591640389955,0.2359470463425617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255397379740509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935617542620096,0.0,0.0,0.18150936429765635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613546702927308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390204152869453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654608696714652,0.0,0.0,0.3776958776798733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621998136410489,0.19258480078103213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24044262571449604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DacianaElliot,2019/04/11,"Poly/bdsm/lgbt friendly therapist near Denver, CO, USA??? My metamour is in need of a a good therapist to work through childhood trauma that is open minded like listed in the title. She has medicade (so?) insurance.  Any suggestions for recommended therapists would be greatly appreciated!!!",6.419148936170213,9.95045517021277,6.905787234042553,62.29400000000001,71.76595744680851,10.568510638297873,37.05957446808511,10.355215969177356,5.490509787234043,231,13,30,8,5,75,43,47,0.05,0.665,0.285,0.919,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,7,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,19,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604912235433318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233657148003832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979494645253616,0.0,0.260195908885899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152999283756246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23829737251273994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499442333235332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8220586052803129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17181416238546554,0.0,0.0,0.16765089925400872,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HorngusOfADongfish,2019/04/11,"This is probably going to be a bit of a mess. Sorry in advance. I just need somewhere to vent. Recently i have lost my ability to confide in people who i once felt close to. I haven't been honest with my parents about how im doing in over a year. I've tried going to a counsellor, going to anxiety groups at my school and one on one sessions at school, none of which have helped in any way. my anxiety has only worsened recently because of upcoming exams. I feel constantly paranoid about whether i've done something correctly, or if im a good person, or what other people think of me. I put up a sort of Facade while around other people. I struggle to empathise with others. I spend every day surrounded by people who i am supposed to have either a familial relationship or friendship with, yet i always feel alone, no matter how many 'friends' i am with. I have little to no work ethic because of how well i did earlier in life without even trying and am failing now because of that. I dont think ive felt genuinely happy for at least a year. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I constantly feel as though the world would be better off without me, that no one would so much as bat an eyelid if i just stopped existing one day. I actively try to destroy the relationships i built back when i was not like this. I purposefully do things that might make people hate me, in the hopes that they will. There is a girl i know who i have always liked, but i've never asked her on a date, in case she says yes. Throughout most of my years of life, i have lied almost non-stop, and now that I have broken that habit, i am constantly in fear that people think I am lying. I convince myself that i must be lying about things concerning my own well being, even when i know them to be true. I hate suffering like this, completely alone, but i dont want to involve other people because it'll just end badly.

​

Some of this stuff ive never said out loud or acknowledged about myself until writing this, and even now im worried that people will just think im lying.",5.724766187050362,5.5504230143884925,6.523420263788973,79.23966276978419,67.05755395683454,9.348081534772184,30.324640287769785,8.959647251330699,2.3603877697841718,1635,54,320,25,24,542,208,417,0.204,0.7070000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9929,1,2,1,0,0,1,45.0,0,0,2,5,27,23,3,2,14,1,40,2,0,4,5,66,65,25,1,10,19,1,5,3,1,7,2,3,0,2,27,11,0,1,12,0,1,5,14,10,2,4,8,8,50,13,57,45,9,52,0,3,0,0,20,22,0,12,27,240,77,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068060882963484,0.1462093949932243,0.0,0.0,0.1174646280917885,0.07647873935883656,0.0857684127086493,0.04800017109920512,0.0,0.10799455253865943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283555026867498,0.06598737886369609,0.0,0.0,0.054275452230863365,0.05893546605309554,0.17211166641449285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062426632271002175,0.07706045939597361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400695345511007,0.2288316923265672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104287766840337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325601072888993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223288730395075,0.1654500184711965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251729496898457,0.0,0.0,0.13986203655631593,0.0,0.059470845646015735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654118766463044,0.07942766711435631,0.10706958041503407,0.0,0.13554519901702386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054533739823606237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034512263245227,0.05920328823244349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513896774950664,0.0,0.13937600514974918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04731158897661684,0.0,0.0,0.07010675944656852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049753361493142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758326029859662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971244334818974,0.1034526904506117,0.07074464059075747,0.06232778407898849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705178635968928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04711598714722535,0.07156203765146958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487945353859399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518880432523068,0.052337829296265535,0.10887889488292402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517064404899618,0.19132069426161388,0.05368301797407173,0.0,0.0,0.07837620872599876,0.0,0.0,0.3914776095600461,0.06163203602698216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610249008582877,0.0,0.0,0.07095734773497796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393882007768816,0.15156359273369052,0.0,0.0,0.06714242975279698,0.056131967348098714,0.0,0.1428714297770136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433972558788713,0.0,0.07901404736255138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802431979744528,0.0,0.07379069175990667,0.08080285458870595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378697872740273,0.18091188555991375,0.06934933280123047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437675971855291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489845693676292,0.05602702992025082,0.0,0.0,0.12692865330146835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360827023887703,0.0,0.051386667817024174,0.07168242005892883,0.0,0.1002830145033482,0.0,0.0857684127086493,0.13636313710318027
mentalhealth,ejdkgkebsbbcb,2019/04/11,"What do i do now? I dont know everyones back storys

But to summarize i have no parents, not a lot of freinds 5hat i can easily contact with and no home

I have just",-1.8141666666666687,0.010790361111110869,1.5,94.99500000000002,103.72222222222223,5.7333333333333325,19.88888888888889,7.1686216300943375,0.8170888888888896,127,5,30,3,6,45,28,36,0.134,0.7929999999999999,0.073,-0.25,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,7,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,7,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102721144303616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4729074098290931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3855684024378354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40475060153336384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217569935194236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430473749071813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4480469715666922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,luckystar22,2019/04/11,"Getting Treatment for Mom w/ Paranoid Delusion I live in another state now, but my Father recently reaxhed out to me about the increasing severity of my mother's paranoid delusions. I will be consulting my psychiatrist for help, but wondering is you have any personal experience to add.

She ( F, 59, Hispanic) 
has for a while, felt that people (government or likewise) are using technology to track and watch her. She started a few years ago with turning out the lights when she showers or uses the restroom because people are watching her through the lights. More recently people are watching her through her phone, cameras are covered by stickers and turned off when she is not using it. She is worried at the store or out that people in charge are talking about her or watching her to wait til she does something wrong.

The turning point, during holidays she thought family was spying on her and talking about her because they were on their phones.

The brother she trusts tried to talk to her but without success. She thinks the doctor or therapists are going to contact 'them' and same with her priest. 

How do you approach treatment? Do you? She lives most of life normally outside of the stress of these situations and doesn't show signs of other mental illnesses.",8.596779487179488,9.17116591555556,7.627555555555558,71.20369230769235,60.955555555555534,10.3008547008547,40.86324786324785,10.035473477838034,4.39720170940171,1021,53,159,19,13,314,139,225,0.096,0.8590000000000001,0.046,-0.9044,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,3,1,7,4,0,1,11,0,18,3,0,4,0,34,32,18,0,1,10,4,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,5,11,0,1,4,2,1,3,3,2,0,0,4,7,32,2,34,26,5,24,1,0,4,0,39,10,0,7,10,123,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109621684146922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409653514067505,0.12967368074556954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077024176468226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265765098504702,0.10822019645513382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096823536757728,0.11658048708150362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873792667036664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460993100820082,0.0,0.0702817483264934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289013588535145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734834484925899,0.0,0.0,0.2183971666770105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462537370511698,0.0,0.0,0.14483511611017014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116557957062606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429353458044138,0.1079796293397022,0.0,0.0,0.1169035284080774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24420881126864585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13970640712512927,0.0,0.0,0.13900479754000258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952034656916476,0.0,0.0,0.08753082184600464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416579988402132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981920629945229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358475780449725,0.0,0.07923962765628045,0.0,0.0981763067919914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396051175050552,0.4035364794995879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204209235405606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920878094187415,0.13410956798383367,0.0,0.12558795144699314,0.0,0.0,0.13520841615723772,0.0,0.07963629495951381
mentalhealth,FarFreeze,2019/04/11,"I’m (16M) having urges(?) to do absurd or simply bad things. Can anyone help with this? The title says it but I’ll say it anyway to elaborate. Basically, I’ve been having urges or thoughts about stuff that’s just morally or socially wrong. At first I thought, “It’s probably just chance/natural.” But it happens around once a day. 

Now, I’d like to start off by saying that I’m not sure if urges is the right word, hence the question mark. I have never once done any of these actions and after I get these “urges” I just scoff them off and never think about doing that thing again because I know either it’s dumb or impossible, or just wrong.

Generally, it’s stuff that’s wrong but not horrible. For example, I’d want to just get naked in the middle of class or go livid on a teacher and yell at them. However, sometimes it gets as bad as wanting to kill someone or kidnap them. Another thing is it also seems to happen at almost the exact same time each day, but there are outliers. Additionally, ones that have to do with actions towards one person almost always aren’t focused at family or friends or even peers. Often it’ll be some random undescript person that I came up with on the fly.

Is this normal? I know that I’ve never wanted to do these actions, nor intend to. However, I still feel I should be concerned.

TL;DR for the ones who want to get a small picture: I get urges(?) to do stuff that is morally wrong to random people. It’s somewhat frequent and varies in how ‘bad’ it is.",2.8755176010430246,4.851795447457629,4.074999999999998,86.05560299869623,75.88135593220339,6.572359843546286,23.54954367666232,7.468242284971852,1.0503481095176015,1167,36,229,15,26,381,158,295,0.138,0.8009999999999999,0.061,-0.9831,3,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,3,1,17,12,2,0,10,0,23,0,0,2,5,64,46,23,1,7,22,0,1,1,1,2,0,4,0,2,31,11,0,0,8,0,0,5,7,9,0,4,5,5,13,3,38,37,5,34,2,0,0,0,13,16,1,19,14,161,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893901565636362,0.0,0.0,0.07562510625416465,0.07868722650159739,0.0,0.0,0.06430872675044239,0.09916162762046457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612336695501994,0.0,0.0,0.08418457976098384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368782045267287,0.057647097252723135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081593270894955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197563901284217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096774759457101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246053771399612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914924587103168,0.0,0.047815860044638926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043854671543765,0.0,0.0,0.07306214316919564,0.0,0.2470364796611981,0.0,0.05374454180676183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725037368452375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338619171457241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462425044174987,0.0,0.1039429771331277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04620060477170992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21880744191864085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926554718946751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201421299012066,0.19224291237753735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06556077313266669,0.16514431816257633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195909989243472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593655733039836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075960573982509,0.0,0.2256101551821392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609014324990627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639903333741784,0.08012621741304618,0.0,0.09352907040821692,0.0,0.06693493013618564,0.0,0.07552123900035039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247693858628894,0.0,0.0,0.08912817288896098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847811527373826,0.060594643456242075,0.0,0.15015109186823258,0.05514271294274277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22311200299953907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4135761871506804,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ProsperousPlant,2019/04/11,"Seeking advice for our friend  

This concerns a very close friend of ours, I will refer to him as “Jake”.  We have all been friends for 15 odd years since the beginning of elementary school and have always been very close. For the most part, we were his only group of friends and he was generally uncomfortable talking to new people or socializing at school. We started noticing some changes in his personality about 4 years ago (when he was a Junior in high school) and it’s definitely gotten worse. His dad is abusive verbally, sometimes physically, and definitely emotionally. He is an absolute controlling psychopath who has never been on Jake’s side and disallows him from seeing professional help.

Jake was the only one of our friend group who moved a considerable distance away for college and at first we thought this was a good thing because he would be away from his dad, but his mental state only worsened, possibly because he did not have us around anymore. He struggled finding friends at school, but eventually found some people to be social and room with.  However, for whatever reason, this group kicked him out of their house which definitely worsened his insecurities. His grades suffered along with his social life making it difficult to find anything positive at school. This probably would have all been tolerable had he not been medically disqualified from his ROTC program at school (which was a dream of his for a long time).  

These problems obviously are stacking up and as his only real friends, we have listened and tried to help him through all of it.  Our help however has really only been letting him vent, offering basic advice and letting him know we’re here whenever he comes home. However, even in coming home for breaks his insecurities remain and affect everyone (for example about 4 months ago he was convinced that one of his closest childhood friends hated him, which came out of nowhere and was totally untrue). More recently, he has shown extreme signs of depression and loneliness as well as allusions to suicide or running away (especially when he drinks).  So, as college students with no real experience with this kind of stuff, we’re hoping someone has any advice at all. We know that getting professional help would be very beneficial but as we mentioned earlier his dad forbids it and when asked simply do it at college without telling anyone he said he personally would never go…? He is coming home for the weekend and our plan is to have some sort of group talk with him to try to understand and fix his problems. If you guys have any suggestions about what to bring up/suggest or any advice for us and Jake at all please let us know.  Thanks so much for your time.",10.380065848818331,9.417468392116183,9.377234349630168,65.15832130615189,58.024896265560166,12.531986289013169,41.91087858560346,11.5520848577,4.945569438931986,2183,101,355,50,23,686,239,482,0.119,0.747,0.134,0.5326,3,0,1,0,0,1,45.0,15,2,1,3,12,24,1,3,11,0,44,3,0,4,9,89,67,35,1,8,10,3,0,0,8,5,2,2,4,3,21,39,1,2,11,3,0,7,6,10,1,3,21,3,42,14,72,35,13,54,0,2,1,0,91,25,0,10,20,243,63,15,0.0,0.07123118029547383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349903509288549,0.10658372630954274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050023821242614834,0.0,0.0,0.1226489378643554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596218902174091,0.04203660029179697,0.0,0.049472811769891815,0.05351865298318295,0.056203146396834165,0.0,0.16945132903829566,0.0,0.0,0.07329596470317362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876011628058329,0.0,0.0,0.0635979269579223,0.15536157693458374,0.0,0.0,0.06742856676152391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051780403718731056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889372917288215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762577943201506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03970803028950468,0.0,0.0,0.05744627763909758,0.0,0.05880791465165711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989534757558916,0.051137187836034485,0.0,0.06591737676366513,0.37158230142209736,0.0,0.03140969442791522,0.0,0.034167011237244665,0.0504249620609285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05952725857560191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059355062714476964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16118598479337762,0.06351902071939032,0.1809127663205713,0.05971172870378848,0.0,0.06936925039950333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260468364727159,0.0991194849286096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844272417742364,0.042463825261648235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053203420197994615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04012989709345366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056356428250556,0.060585808481139085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479864095548572,0.06389697915989481,0.04419437991587041,0.0,0.09273495286531433,0.05806330158673905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844587614850245,0.0,0.0,0.08147637603957973,0.22861603007848555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510301481511849,0.0,0.08335788517465581,0.10498717794851398,0.0,0.0659926049224128,0.0,0.06777513567412598,0.0,0.0,0.0648184465743436,0.1150515210864424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685715981504173,0.038513768686882666,0.061812341357747325,0.05936025637899985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571869329228913,0.0,0.0,0.3650618052401637,0.04790705669483023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04973105527887052,0.0,0.0,0.18385123835317665,0.05093863076538537,0.0,0.05945922492253049,0.0,0.04255253525744093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284942852893616,0.06882186781675073,0.06576042462368813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09664274447529113,0.052546652921415575,0.055349494870516096,0.0,0.0,0.03994039001322548,0.0,0.0,0.04772776798053383,0.07011174081792272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163370481729912,0.0,0.0,0.06258599571969604,0.21694725212814306,0.0,0.0,0.1488134052130414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054054197986792535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057952567416196324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612663936927462,0.17082724127866125,0.0,0.0,0.07742932552372364
mentalhealth,Important_Swan,2019/04/11,"How to explain my situation? I believe that for two years I have been experienced more obvious symptoms of depression - often low mood, no interest in anything, hard to get  out of bed in the morning, changing jobs, mind getting void when talking to people, staring in one point for prolonged time, moaning as every tasks was hard to impossible to start and finish, feeling empty.... Symptoms varied trough the day - usually it was the worst in the morning and better in evening-, but they were there. Sometimes, although rarely, I felt completely OK, but this didn't last more than few hours or more than a day. 

However, the symptoms apparently kept getting worse, which may not be so surprising as I was placed in foreign country with very cold culture, without any friends, without partner, without anybody speaking to me, not even coworkers. My life consisted only from work-to-house routine and I truly hated my job. It was kind of torture that I traded for money. For some reason I didn't even speak to my friends or family trough phone, I just pushed them away.

The symptoms were probably getting worse and I was able to observe troubles with identity, frustration, not knowing in which direction to go, increased challenge to make decisions, and I started to sleep over day. Also I consumed a beer a day to feel more cheerful, and in worst days I had consumed two redbulls per day so I was able to perform my work. I had also introduced coffee, although I don't like coffee. It also seemed that my mind became less stable and very moody. I as well got feelings of anger for no apparent reason. I also got some general thoughts about ""ending it altogether"", however it was very general moaning, and not like a suicide thought in my opinion.

​

Few months later, during the winter, some strange thing happened. I opened PC, and saw my friend on FB being on a party, surrounded by young chicks and having a good time. Not sure what exactly happened on that night, but I know that my insecurity backfired some kind of shitstorm. I was lying paralysed in bed for few days, and in the night of that event for few hours I was shaking, I was catching breath, my heart was pounding, I had diarrhoea, I wanted to throw up but couldn't. I can also recall that I had some thoughts about ending life. In fact I stared trough window (i lived in a tall building) and possibly thinking in a hypothetical way ""what if I would jump..."". However, I never approached the window, neither opened it. Not sure how to explain this in the means of suicidal attempt, but I can tell you that I am very indecisive and impulsive person, and that I often make decisions randomly, probably subconsciously,  under the pressure, in last minute. In life I barely plan anything. So when you take this factors in account and apply it to my window situation, - although I flirted with window for no more than 10 minutes, - I believe that anything could happen in that moment. I believe it's totally an impulsive thing,  rather than a planned event.

Nevertheless, I called my psychiatrist and informed him about situation and ended hospitalised for no more than two weeks.

​

After a month or so, another event happened. Probably it was again fired by insecurities, but this time I've heard a voice telling me to cut myself with a kitchen knife. The voice sounded so real, but as I knew that's not possible. Quickly I got up from bed and run for my life to ER. I wasn't hospitalised.

​

Since then I have been very scared for my life. I kept hanging around in public places packed with people knowing that nothing can happen there to me and when walking over bridge I distanced from the edge as much as possible. I am also scared of windows, and to some degree sharp objects. In this period I've also had some unusual anger outbursts, getting in arguing with people while knowing that this can get me in troubles, and that it's bad for me. Yet I did it.

​

There was another event following in two weeks. I was in my room staring trough window, and maybe I slightly heard in my head like I was telling to myself to jump. Window was closed and I was distanced from the window. However, this time I saw a short movie playing in front of my eyes, which appeared to be in gray colour and was played with increased speed; I saw how I am moving from my current position trough window. It was kind of suggestion.

In the next moment I moved all the furniture in front of window, completely barricading it. Then I went on first plane and headed it for my home. One of the best reliefs I've ever felt.

​

While at home with my family and friends and back in welcoming society, most symptoms disappeared on first day. However, I started to wake up in nights and sleep in evenings .  I am still having some flashbacks seeing myself how I fell from building and hit the floor. Some friend told me that I look traumatised while the other that I something changed in me.

​

And finally, I don't know how to understand all this saga. Was my life really in danger? Currently I see all of this in two perspectives, that depend on how do I feel and this can change in few hours. If I feel OK, then I see everything that I went trough as a joke, but if I get that strange pressure in my stomach, weak knees and start to feel sleepy, then everything becomes real.",7.326371449533589,7.737337391084093,7.05503214198372,74.79107142857143,63.6403242147923,9.886937078573176,36.77408028508542,9.668497473035632,3.6074864060371032,4243,195,729,76,58,1339,396,987,0.16699999999999998,0.7659999999999999,0.067,-0.9987,11,0,2,0,0,2,161.0,0,2,2,10,44,55,8,8,34,2,56,24,10,11,11,148,121,84,2,8,26,0,12,3,6,2,12,7,17,3,52,45,2,2,28,4,3,23,22,25,2,9,52,34,104,29,141,61,33,159,0,2,13,0,32,66,0,25,72,534,156,6,0.0783896552749969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21940862650704426,0.0,0.2548054762188213,0.2857560340033859,0.026653826841408518,0.08219838847578845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676201058973613,0.03489170638338867,0.0,0.0,0.036824830780258035,0.03013840310091162,0.03272604390826706,0.0,0.0432876077444027,0.0,0.13247744649152066,0.04113255347685385,0.03466463991148421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002230126232642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12438879177538198,0.0,0.0821900621302306,0.0,0.0,0.03129388055639077,0.0,0.0,0.20221937055198091,0.0,0.033758447611433866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041449509369042,0.0,0.0,0.1035512559973778,0.03545396554434768,0.033023332743646966,0.0,0.07045156756701616,0.0,0.07389879049260717,0.0,0.11890849515792005,0.0,0.07526636220352635,0.042936017848840165,0.0,0.0666782007315384,0.0,0.0,0.1514091330287878,0.0,0.1433437581361784,0.0,0.02227532379154773,0.03287476183633185,0.0940430525320597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329928318466903,0.0,0.07022173382893833,0.03869677776180047,0.08045040172824118,0.0,0.0,0.04644605946617295,0.0,0.0,0.0786312157426371,0.0,0.11579703007843288,0.04522556869538173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778963713819714,0.0,0.0,0.12244614456562995,0.107702261181365,0.06389803157703983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610679533476191,0.057445838929397135,0.0,0.0346097508864415,0.0,0.03291378374591214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232570360170946,0.0,0.03937647250476502,0.04269465765468993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915120544896727,0.0,0.06256987495956724,0.08331579781475881,0.02881270812823006,0.0,0.03022946735851775,0.0,0.041684143848104434,0.1103450718220558,0.0,0.0376084942085268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531188591545621,0.02980943260489386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151827518439922,0.0342234116780854,0.0819005053747382,0.0,0.037051781005321034,0.1325588370906318,0.0,0.0,0.1267759601578553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922458938253602,0.02510921022550252,0.0805976214013465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848172011620178,0.0,0.09369960916693593,0.03568149902640192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03242236644991177,0.13216988539035324,0.07844626734654159,0.0,0.0,0.030174093201371613,0.03876468674263359,0.0,0.11096920294596853,0.0,0.03130103998132913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574555971495329,0.0,0.07388132239322077,0.20369216673413368,0.02946963252691429,0.03150331778133785,0.10277402081139728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052078603757736465,0.025114462932333742,0.0,0.09334894511832556,0.09141927676751907,0.0,0.0,0.03745233746506768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914382568531635,0.04080319785047363,0.0,0.0,0.043167565239165054,0.16169918807676467,0.023118124843564198,0.03111102980958976,0.06287945307048723,0.0,0.035240857155679366,0.07266799579227179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334724551558767,0.0,0.0570686026564861,0.0,0.07988575574082991,0.02784288099913633,0.0,0.2857560340033859,0.02524018394564712
mentalhealth,marcy1010,2019/04/11,"I need to talk with a counselor to go back to school, but I dont know where to go :( I've been suspended from my college and had to go back home. In order for me to reapply, I need to talk with a counselor (or licensed clergy, not sure what that means though). I went to school in Minnesota, so I have health insurance there but I don't have insurance where I currently reside (Harris County/Southwest Houston). I'm also very low-income, so cost is what's preventing me from going where ever. Does free counseling even exist???",4.721414701803052,5.650728048543693,5.500027739251041,81.8378640776699,69.48543689320388,8.604160887656034,28.30651872399445,8.841846274778883,2.1551314840499307,411,14,79,7,7,134,68,103,0.122,0.833,0.045,-0.7706,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,12,2,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,0,2,14,17,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,2,5,3,0,0,0,3,0,10,3,15,14,0,15,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,4,54,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259385679604742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934483176928402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698258437316724,0.0,0.2236325428303559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12603082255912554,0.1726021533007841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4337758885768742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20282631917330493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19140196231168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048663635215313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078523440888867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829722706566541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862278340501308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983990137617156,0.0,0.0,0.3067380701533222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18747374924745305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744150263883586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17688645483266774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tomuchthinkingforme,2019/04/11,"Over thinking triggering anxiety. My mind(much like many other before me) is constantly buzzing with thoughts. Some good some bad and some just right down the middle. These “buzzing” thoughts tend to trigger my anxiety and I end up portraying a version of myself that I hate. This version isn’t terrible or anything it’s just less confident and always trying to appease others, to the point where I’m constantly just helping others and not paying attention to myself.

In being this way I have lost touch with what I see as “my true self”, and it takes tons of work to get back to a level ground. Is there anything hat has helped you direct you “buzzing” mind/thoughts in a healthy way?",5.317380952380951,7.377018992063494,4.870031746031747,82.5888571428572,69.39682539682539,7.897142857142858,32.44126984126984,8.548686976883017,2.7217993650793657,547,25,95,9,10,166,85,126,0.118,0.7490000000000001,0.133,0.2748,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,6,7,1,0,5,0,6,0,0,2,1,22,16,7,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,7,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,3,2,12,3,16,12,7,17,0,1,1,0,5,11,0,4,5,67,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580439214967285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24971150551855026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686170293852643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254989679633825,0.13627413245022355,0.0,0.0,0.13888030022160044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527456095884674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455625289121846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527086402899961,0.0,0.0,0.13689340701587624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113679468529754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187934082618959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973651286135967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17816377884323376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547005140399718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295925986404564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199786572040926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428688314386502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13938106164564756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005781150878853,0.0,0.17026437410442374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271414832446788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457883811591774,0.0,0.3887132385081789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108093642813804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590981426791949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881934674045022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JealousyRoze,2019/04/11,"I don't know what to do I have pretty bad anxiety and it just keeps getting worse. I always assumed it was just social anxiety, but I am not sure at this point because I sometime feel anxious for no reason. I was recently dropped from the nursing school program I was in because my anxiety made it to where I kept for getting things during my checkoffs. I decided to take a break from school, but that has honestly made my anxiety worse and made me feel like a failure. I guess I just don't know what to do at all with my life at the moment and right now the idea of going to school and not going to school make me feel sick.",4.710859375000002,4.996604617187502,5.4921875000000036,84.18406250000002,69.234375,8.5875,30.84375,8.472884824447931,2.177856249999999,493,19,102,7,8,161,71,128,0.229,0.7040000000000001,0.067,-0.9615,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,5,0,10,2,0,5,2,30,27,6,0,0,7,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,9,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,7,3,17,3,16,20,1,14,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,2,4,71,25,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060318066488122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899338107112982,0.1439594091484292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639856513088143,0.15536005376023582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329701601174984,0.09103587875465408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315362816152956,0.0,0.1448425905611984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037829769745694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385273998547235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326546647759025,0.0,0.0,0.1400641774260269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000744041273638,0.06225576640590695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3617314902323331,0.08506038490768023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046235547321793,0.0,0.0,0.12964192438268154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101906380897754,0.12582156002189146,0.0,0.0,0.10882435792378073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5158630666558814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989863944128202,0.0,0.0,0.12603133634867505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010108393555295,0.0,0.09581135515759523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465870071822415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597237175701895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CuteMode8,2019/04/11,"Is it a bad idea to fake schizophrenia? I'm 26F and my abusive parents control my life. I have to do exactly what they say, live with them, and work the job they want. I need help for anxiety and depression to get anything done for myself. They don't believe in those conditions (aka they know they caused my low self esteem), and I'm just told it's normal to have emotions and to cheer up.

I've done a lot of research into schizophrenia and heard a lot of personal accounts. I feel I could be a very realistic actor as a schizophrenic to get a diagnosis. I would try to get institutionalized, then pretend to get relatively sane again but ask for help with my anxiety and depression. I feel my only other alternatives are to either attempt to end my life, or marry a man I don't love while my parents control him like a puppet. I don't have the courage to do either of those things.",6.133085714285714,5.994299137142857,6.945857142857142,76.43364285714289,66.2,9.971428571428572,33.5,9.642632912329526,3.003685714285714,699,28,137,13,10,233,101,175,0.161,0.7709999999999999,0.068,-0.9381,3,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,6,4,2,9,0,0,10,0,15,4,0,3,1,30,30,12,0,5,5,2,2,1,0,1,3,2,0,3,7,10,0,2,4,2,1,0,3,5,0,0,4,4,23,4,23,23,4,8,0,3,0,1,19,4,0,3,5,95,30,3,0.0,0.16268398396165434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21007591287555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129903236633921,0.0,0.12836164905719055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464394768817587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15469572682447344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105006714946552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079984868448437,0.10962687746564427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365212069535593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810213919740464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444965492466192,0.1216114841201646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885107670184593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869448016082425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18406530718848366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550006428884502,0.0,0.0,0.13625403540604575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545924237824254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939651775854522,0.06708029209178272,0.0,0.12124283892205118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334636179857253,0.12392313180815705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180992474969304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452975668410788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442664691610816,0.0,0.0,0.3049219281675302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988943818358065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919045456418887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432390700055823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121934722099034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120082064243893,0.0,0.0932210885046347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329101257124576,0.08098605204599069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995968220183712,0.0,0.0,0.09753753926690607,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PM_MAJESTIC_PICS,2019/04/11,"How many suicidal thoughts per day would be considered “normal”? I can’t imagine anyone truly goes through life with zero... but perhaps that’s how it is for most people?

Or are some here and there expected, because it’s like a “don’t think about pink elephants” situation?

Does it only matter if you’re planning on doing it? What if you just ruminate on suicide all the time but never take action?",4.6648,6.605985813333334,5.333000000000002,79.09150000000002,70.86666666666667,7.666666666666668,29.83333333333333,8.344100000000001,2.3987333333333334,316,13,54,5,6,102,65,75,0.126,0.794,0.08,-0.7657,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,2,2,21,10,8,2,5,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,1,2,1,6,7,3,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,5,4,39,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101127345197032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15780767019355188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669528244293087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265430746888097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828509211710164,0.12647314692349468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624584067156696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19966019843586907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253642331482564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19688594438554505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794711851456739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909861122296438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5663340099460386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19464162594641085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587651357565644,0.0,0.20551766796570534,0.150951972820019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18389722449897736,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PM_ME_YOUR_PIGZ,2019/04/11,"Intrusive thoughts of harming others A few times a day I (26M) have intrusive thoughts of hurting others in the most greusome ways. They trouble me and I hate them. 
I never act on them, don't feel the need to do so but I really fear that one day I might go mad and really execute such a thought. 

They happen really random, like when cleaning the dishes and putting away some knife's I get a flash/thought where I see myself stabbing my gf. 

I love my gf and I despise violence. I've hurt no one physically since a playground fight when I was a kid (11y) years a go. 

Is this a normal thing, or maybe not totally weird? Do I need to do something about this? I feel like a weirdo but I can't ask anyone IRL because I fear they will fear me for it.",1.090876623376623,3.2319054090909134,2.875438311688317,91.59030032467535,82.57142857142857,6.1876623376623385,23.26136363636364,7.413659706084162,0.9583259740259744,579,21,126,9,16,192,98,154,0.297,0.615,0.08800000000000001,-0.9894,0,0,1,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,5,0,6,15,4,3,12,0,10,2,0,0,2,22,25,10,0,3,4,0,2,2,2,2,0,0,1,1,7,4,1,0,5,0,0,4,5,12,0,2,4,3,24,3,9,19,4,16,0,2,1,1,11,4,0,5,9,83,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592181684917596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282479524414959,0.0,0.12888831189989347,0.0,0.0,0.08362572202839931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694387694156585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4631083632975677,0.13872808905232198,0.09800384213430653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167265990325576,0.0,0.15592896530323194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131081984554914,0.0,0.0,0.13544019771457189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29371531529928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404175114820535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381336661897198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781915523241328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14552989922662482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20343949276553,0.10580428843575483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441059665338567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859180325181589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790719853394132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636495796884598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931740164918444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134795188731506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561047677426932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113854948162596,0.0,0.0,0.4356331565416444,0.07999273864953874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888979062939746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883416062441565
mentalhealth,EastYouth,2019/04/11,"Can ADHD meds cause weird things to happen? 27M here.

I went to a psychiatrist for depression and found that I instead have ADHD. I got prescribed Vyvanse. But weird stuff started happening a week after I started taking it.

I've always been a telekinetic (able to move small objects with my mind), but now when I do it, it's painful and accompanied by a high pitched whistling sound.

I feel like my head is connected to my neck on actual squeaky hinges, and I hear a squeak when I move my head up and down that nobody else can hear.

There's also three people following me around everywhere who look like white ghosts. I don't know exactly how to describe what they're like, because they don't let me get a very good look at them. But here's my best attempt. Google the Pokemon Dugtrio. It's three little guys who move together as one unit. The three ghost people I'm seeing are like that except they look mostly human. One's a man and two are women. They stand super close together like they are all part of one body and glide around like that. All three are very pale and wear white robes.

They sometimes appear a few hundred feet away and pretend not to notice me, but then as I start starting, they turn to me and ask me a question in my mind, then disappear when I answer.

I'm seeing improvement in my ADHD and depression symptoms, but I find it concerning that things are happening that are either not real or may be spiritually damning in nature. It's against my religion to commune with spirits, ghosts, etc. I talked to my pastor about the ghosts I was seeing, and she wanted to know if she could see them too. I was looking for them, but they didn't appear for me while I was at church. She said to tell them I am saved by Jesus Christ and to refuse to answer their questions.

I'm looking for advice. Has anyone become even more mentally ill on ADHD medication?",5.006794520547945,6.062585131506848,5.2985205479452055,83.07901369863015,68.91780821917807,8.141369863013699,27.750684931506854,8.364918446050245,1.8138460273972608,1483,48,287,21,25,470,198,365,0.08199999999999999,0.8029999999999999,0.114,0.9526,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,12,3,15,16,1,0,12,0,24,10,6,2,3,54,60,30,4,3,12,0,1,6,0,1,4,4,0,4,18,17,0,1,9,1,0,8,5,6,0,8,9,16,47,10,40,47,9,38,5,2,11,0,30,16,1,8,19,195,65,0,0.07846109857226334,0.0,0.07656671405699114,0.0,0.3771799727264853,0.07667127745018583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274531218102486,0.06528591939968148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486182443313538,0.0,0.0,0.13969402489640614,0.07335053569530972,0.0,0.07371678489006743,0.0,0.0,0.04782915744006405,0.08665411899762138,0.0,0.0,0.08234008228648766,0.0,0.0,0.08715259272525562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060116133801833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264480277225479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351568584602329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554417994885704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750486516281147,0.051822815622735593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03967228893036883,0.056052624497293715,0.0,0.0,0.07171202265239887,0.0,0.0,0.0860285447918758,0.0,0.0,0.0409926856415879,0.0,0.0,0.06580944692080651,0.06275250808599986,0.0,0.0,0.0776888232228858,0.2081486710370856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610474463252566,0.0,0.17686272093978428,0.0,0.0,0.0828984584548313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624033568063998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023178919220703,0.0,0.22999277723541284,0.07863863323959218,0.0,0.0,0.32943780934036937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715259272525562,0.07904130228533507,0.07907033311350903,0.0,0.15844668562602332,0.0,0.0,0.250175192199969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932848076118168,0.0,0.0,0.1595018129452707,0.0,0.0834881407996546,0.0,0.0,0.08496572377552185,0.0,0.108790093152748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757887741337972,0.0,0.0,0.08930590749575351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463447215300567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500933486776684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760003273306408,0.0,0.22214067762602432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089819186211874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155112363466327,0.058992981522144876,0.06306405897879447,0.06857845846506652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425213501978284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534314457499335,0.07664509246157762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294772468661961,0.04627838879488814,0.0,0.06293676057416113,0.0,0.0,0.07273422444459754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hawkone98,2019/04/11,"I need help with my life and I'm not sure what else to do. I feel lost and scared. TL;DR - I've made a series of decisions in my life that I believe are going to seriously adversely effect my wife & child & I think I've dug myself into a hole that I'm trying to claw my way out of but it's just not working out the way I'm trying. 



Please bare with me thru this rant. I want to apologize if I come off as not needing help or being selfish, I've never opened up to anyone like this. This is a throwaway account btw. This feels very difficult because I feel like I shouldn't' be complaining or venting because my problems are things that everyone has to deal with so I should just get over it. 


I am a 39 yr old male living in the US in Kentucky. I'm not sure where to start & I don't want to inundate this post with info that isn't helpful or useful: When I was in my early 20's back in the 2000s I was in a regular 4 year college and was going to major in graphic design. But, since my grades weren't very good, and by my sophomore year my mother really pressured me to move back to my hometown and just go to culinary school since I had always enjoyed cooking. I did what she advised, moved back home, went thru a culinary program that lasted a year and a half and received an Associates Degree in Culinary Arts. I then worked for 10 years as a line cook at the same restaurant and never really gained any other culinary experience or knowledge from there. I had always been a heavy pot smoker and had dabbled in painkillers here and there but my opiate addiction didn't really become serious until around 2008 when my girlfriend of 5 years left me. At this point in my life I had also started working part time with my father who's an agent with one of the largest insurance companies in the US. 


I eventually quit working at the restaurant and started working at my father's insurance agency full time. Working in insurance was never, and I mean never ever, something that I wanted to do. But, because a lot of my bad habits regarding drugs and partying were associated with working in the service industry, I decided that getting out of cooking for a living would be helpful for my mental and physical health. About a year into working full time in insurance I tried to quit the painkillers cold turkey and had a series of seizures over the next 12 months. A few months before I had my first seizure I started dating a girl (I'll call her Betty) who I used to work at the restaurant with. We eventually got married a few years later in 2012. Btw, Betty was never into drugs at all and only occasionally drank alcohol. Betty has always been adamant about me quitting opiates and has been very supportive thru my recovery process. In 2015 Betty became pregnant (planned) and we now have a wonderful & beautiful little girl.


My problems basically boil down to ""what have I done"", or rather ""what the fuck do I do now"". At least that's what keeps repeating in my head. I really hate working in the insurance industry. From the customer service aspect of it to dealing with people's home and auto claims while also having to try and meet a sales quota each month. This job is taking it's toll on me mentally I feel & do a terrible job of not bringing the work home with me. Some people are great at this kind of work, but, I just don't think I am one of those people and my father has agreed. I've also overhead my 2 co-workers talking about me and they really don't like me working at the agency. I get it, I'm the boss's son, and all of our customers love the idea that I would be taking over the agency once my father retires. My dad says that he has no plans to retire anytime soon but I've heard thru several of my siblings that he's only waiting to retire until I am in a better position at the company we work for and financially in a better place. Right now, like a lot of people around my age, my wife & I live paycheck to paycheck. The company that we work for has made it clear that they aren't going to make me an agent anytime soon and unless I make a big impact on the ""higher ups', then I never will become an agent. I have no passion for insurance and no interest in doing what it takes to become an agent. To do so would mean giving 100% of my available time to this company, which, in no way is my passion and I don't even remotely enjoy any aspect of this job.


About 6 months ago I decided to go back to school and try to earn a degree in CMM. Depending on who you ask CMM stands for 'Coordinate Measuring Machine' or 'Computerized Manufacturing & Machining. Basically, I want to become a machinist & work in CNC manufacturing in some form. I talked about this with my dad and he gave me the go ahead to take off one day a week to start taking classes at a local technical community college. My father let me know, which I don't disagree with, that he would not be helping me financially regarding tuition or hours that I wouldn't be working at the agency. As of right now I am 4 months into taking these classes and I am struggling more than ever to keep my head above water. I thought I was prepared for the classes I would be taking but, it turns out I did not prepare correctly. Yesterday, my professor let me know that because I am just above a failing grade in the 2 classes that I'm taking that I should think about either taking the classes again or to think about a different area of interest to get a degree in. The school I'm attending is a community college and I am barely able to afford the tuition between all of our other expenses like utilities, phone/internet, home and car insurance, mortgage, food, partial daycare (my wife works about 16 hours a week at our daughters daycare which does help) and other expenses that we can't avoid, like paying past debt for instance. We've really tried cutting back the fat so to speak on things we don't need or aren't essential. 


I can't help but think that I'm a giant fuck up. I hate my job, but it pays the bills so I shouldn't complain. I am failing in school at something that I wanted to be my new career. I have no idea how I'm going to pay for my daughter's future and that's not fair to her. The opiate recovery program I'm in wants to help me, and we've been thru 3 separate SSRI's over the past 2.5 yrs that just haven't helped & my co-pay for treatment is another expense. My co-workers have voiced how upset they are that I am taking off one day a week and how much harder it has made their jobs, and I can't blame them for feeling that way. I'm now so broke from paying tuition and our cost of living that without taking out a loan I won't be able to afford tuition for the next semester that I'm not sure now that I'll even be eligible for if I don't pass these current 2 classes. 


There are times when I will find a secluded place or in my car alone on lunch break, and I'll just cry because I don't know how I'm going to be able to pay the mortgage, or how I'll be able to take care of my daughter or what kind of job I'll be able to get once my father finally retires within the next 2-3 years. The 2-3 yr retirement timeline is what I've heard thru the grapevine from my siblings. 

I talk to a therapist and I try to do my best at things like thought stopping when I let negativity get the best of me and staying active and in shape when I have the time. But, all I really want to do is spend time with my wife and child when I get off work. I still have the weekend to try and get as much study time in as I can, which I thought was adequate. But, as school progresses I'm learning that I need more time to study. The last time I was in school was the early 2000's, so just learning how I learn & study has been very complicated. 


In regards to the opiate program, they take a urine sample once a month to make sure I'm not taking anything else than what I'm prescribed. I've quite smoking pot, which was actually a lot tougher than I thought it would be, but, that still good I guess. 

In my mind I feel like I'm just being a cry baby about my situation and should be appreciative that I have it so good. What am I doing wrong? My wife says that I need to get out of a mindset that everything is lost if I fail at school. But, in my opinion, I think that I made so many bad decisions in the past that I'm now reaping what I've sowed, and, as one of my friends put it I need to ""man the fuck up"". If you read all of this I can't say thank you enough and I honestly appreciate the time you've taken. Maybe I didn't post in the right place and if not I'll delete this post.",5.9826577443609,5.316133550285716,6.731924812030075,79.60791729323309,66.64,9.676992481203008,32.13533834586466,9.019486878546038,2.5144114285714294,6763,240,1384,101,95,2245,544,1750,0.102,0.8,0.098,-0.7555,14,2,6,0,0,0,160.0,12,3,6,40,70,64,6,5,96,0,129,26,4,18,19,248,254,114,0,33,54,18,6,8,2,15,9,7,4,6,89,82,10,5,35,6,19,19,47,30,0,7,45,15,182,34,228,175,28,230,0,6,0,6,88,103,3,26,106,921,271,69,0.13428330470283506,0.0,0.026208226958077358,0.029277724617261743,0.0,0.0,0.023806809485617243,0.028701602913326362,0.0,0.02781540118927206,0.0,0.06443178615338127,0.06704068003440852,0.2909918090850993,0.0,0.036526900787462166,0.028161550671589538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01877880177811445,0.0,0.022100743618271603,0.04781624435975167,0.025107352596695415,0.0,0.0,0.10325557250275187,0.04484838016379308,0.08185785617427557,0.1186442879526728,0.022853040373877042,0.030258260057516414,0.05636881746563584,0.04750506823705969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027423653575023844,0.0,0.027382155731531625,0.0,0.0,0.023134635349021063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059001561903138586,0.034640649021081237,0.05537607631540007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02805949453399375,0.0,0.0,0.023502444972934508,0.027483688575716727,0.0,0.0,0.06229040053104384,0.0,0.044870588088763895,0.0,0.0,0.027750109989604543,0.0,0.03547714252008543,0.04858677478719802,0.0,0.025662690445631818,0.024137035125887347,0.0262709677890684,0.0,0.0,0.08147720834353266,0.03837280788431133,0.0,0.029420159317175388,0.02454650155024181,0.0228442620763147,0.03247518101386472,0.0,0.020749389621854138,0.07448565083125594,0.12628347186279476,0.025763356379653025,0.12210607459614785,0.06757827897389933,0.021479725156839238,0.029609563499317162,0.029585639872761662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053030785054243364,0.05512536454378138,0.028547374705738805,0.0,0.0,0.16201308342911516,0.0,0.10775768272669768,0.0,0.052896802328168915,0.0,0.0,0.06063580239579022,0.0,0.0,0.15990655159648293,0.047742868466014304,0.0,0.05593415911053545,0.04427915547172319,0.043783526354696574,0.0,0.0,0.02917984069345542,0.08238826621853641,0.05690896160443711,0.10496646362574052,0.026917429760433275,0.09485969458943352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863443590732757,0.06849771818515894,0.024239185052911782,0.1016496877954384,0.053781089169655336,0.027228438874118382,0.026981125695378312,0.058509554128442325,0.0,0.0,0.054130394948048784,0.0,0.027117571576540624,0.0,0.12862038321161667,0.05708876062929975,0.03948547191666035,0.11948324272749185,0.12428107546796675,0.025938330490846657,0.08568709077740544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028181547880482175,0.08580440218533257,0.09099384254588208,0.04085140170558554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029083146636131,0.07691316528689825,0.07447610850885825,0.0,0.08417848360198124,0.029480548808825526,0.02538822542880707,0.0,0.07716377194286042,0.0,0.0,0.051396394897673565,0.0,0.026998362104795844,0.0,0.11426145904812808,0.02686392873443377,0.0,0.1204354529184364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880632510282575,0.0,0.06407248418213513,0.02688820278388948,0.1902626227638584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030340382418229974,0.0,0.044432214918226916,0.03018801214718025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04135113937957486,0.0,0.0,0.0950464142210429,0.028625627170201694,0.04289552823860007,0.022453371107985388,0.0,0.0280764132213369,0.0,0.0,0.03047662056952432,0.1012483404038304,0.0,0.2827001334445816,0.0647591002553769,0.0,0.02472600508788082,0.0,0.03118265332895945,0.0535271164979513,0.10325198343765553,0.0,0.08528475547468865,0.17226368466989875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458712788889651,0.029212335019008263,0.0,0.0,0.06461051267611699,0.04639106420898657,0.0,0.08863823173214619,0.11088528118386444,0.08527026951981283,0.06462838031312305,0.0,0.0,0.024896393757277827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02588886276452599,0.02912490316159048,0.4105913495464372,0.0,0.0,0.11446920826159575,0.029363542709244093,0.0,0.13835847292406694
mentalhealth,ZoofusCos,2019/04/11,"Coping with loneliness I'm a guy doing my fifth year in university. I have a lot of friends, I have something like 5 different hobbies I regularly do, I'm quite socially confident, but I'm really lonely. I haven't had a relationship in 5 years, because I don't really think I want one. But I feel so soul crushingly lonely. I thought getting a pet would be the ideal solution, but after getting a dog it turns out I'm severly allergic to everything. My apartment is too small for a room mate. I am at my wits end.",3.5274029126213584,5.020957310679614,6.157463592233013,73.84842839805826,72.98058252427184,10.586893203883497,32.29247572815534,10.686352973137794,3.9816805825242723,405,20,77,14,8,146,70,103,0.141,0.7190000000000001,0.14,-0.034,1,4,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,7,0,11,1,0,0,0,12,22,4,0,3,3,0,1,1,2,1,1,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,12,3,9,18,1,11,1,2,0,0,5,7,0,1,5,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996130199581672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398818862273376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20335639491266466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063486035687064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609205574667995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738746913370976,0.0,0.2399118011598484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22733891690280586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121703798630938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951966956094918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558209402906711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24420659365715466,0.0,0.0,0.29417375060203904,0.0,0.0,0.2465031943050755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593812997780988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23404707019147966,0.0,0.17675637920000184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471176450555334,0.0,0.18227580672310956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497375716078953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542332536628698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16310040533977524,0.0,0.0,0.2957082086809358
mentalhealth,jubettu,2019/04/11,"Rising up I've been through some very harsh times past two to three years, which has caused me to get severely depressed. I was bullied at school my whole childhood and I had a negletting mother with some spices of emotional abuse and manipulation.

Well, six years ago life turned another side and showed me there's other bad things also. Father, who had been sober for 6 years, started drinking again, that caused a lot of drama in our household. I felt alone and unsafe with a side of very drunk parents acting too uncomfortably with me. 

The shit went down after I turned 15 and fathers alcoholism worsened, we were poorer by every day, O developed a depression from the things in the past, most of them occuring still back in the day. After my parents heard about it, they started to attack emotionally on me and started to become more toxic. Dad assaulted me twice, parents turned my family against me and I tried suicide really often. Around 20-30 times during the 2-3 years. I couldn't focus on school because of that. 

After a year had passed, my dad couldn't take any care of our house (I live with just him), I had to take control with the little money and energy I had from work to get food on the table and house as livable as possible.

After all that crap, I decided to take a sick leave from school for a month and I am feeling happy again! It's been so long, I feel healthier. I feel like a superhuman. I'm so glad and thankful I'm still alive. This was a huge wall of text, but I wanted to show you, that it will get better, even if it feels hopeless. Hang in there! It gets better. Don't quit.

Tl;Dr: I had rough past with rougher times coming, like toxic parents, school pressure, low income. Etc. Those bad dayd led to severe depression, with several suicide attempts. Now after couple years of professional help Ive finally started having positive trend, a tremendous positive trend.",4.285478180129992,6.359857571030643,4.7226824512534815,82.51724558960076,72.17548746518106,7.5721819870009295,26.17279480037141,8.344100000000001,1.829197140204271,1504,51,273,25,30,476,209,359,0.184,0.708,0.108,-0.9776,6,1,2,0,1,3,51.0,3,1,2,6,18,21,4,1,17,0,20,8,2,5,1,44,47,18,2,4,3,9,6,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,16,21,4,1,6,5,1,7,3,12,1,4,15,8,33,9,51,29,8,58,0,5,0,0,19,17,2,6,36,177,49,6,0.0,0.0863738375437621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462089651527379,0.07790726064343333,0.0,0.07550176611732441,0.0,0.058297603014624076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957407411598536,0.07644134980614954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489589838544557,0.0,0.0829335619700319,0.0,0.056055118762191235,0.1217358644883947,0.0444387817359213,0.08051163112123373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894714431821153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432577023651261,0.14977547621868284,0.0,0.06279635571120397,0.0,0.0,0.08176284665100032,0.0,0.08066177071382488,0.0,0.09402813077349127,0.0,0.18836437190285954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141363339515062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16400396742554926,0.0,0.0,0.08130207203993338,0.04814934896742675,0.0,0.061420866681967536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872304188737999,0.0,0.14744045541260584,0.05207932731999753,0.06999483114599983,0.07985770087531607,0.0,0.0,0.08815021235330081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15234765632478767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776027391342853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886291370971132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823217977534982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718991118052808,0.0,0.0,0.05149098371558729,0.07122990365037321,0.07306432405639976,0.06437148278140356,0.06451365194135493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197644083092724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058187584790912635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32378451087454085,0.0,0.2087721035306944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218309080293826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753745756328759,0.0,0.0,0.04670120565123097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951122334203412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24706662776464505,0.07483015977346191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20639420838769704,0.0,0.11643506841810268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948016612090782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16443377032716913,0.0,0.0,0.06711594919871107,0.0,0.0,0.09686220961457362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752463358456542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049493889675395836,0.2378807558450831,0.07121209566147428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202992363071655,0.0429979395167741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065545292049109,0.06757845000458895,0.0,0.0813895476349054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05307161246716599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816688403659993
mentalhealth,endlessfries,2019/04/11,"Mentally ill parent. Need some serious advice. My mother has a family history of mental illness, and has always been a little unstable. Her mother was institutionalized after several suicide attempts (bipolar I believe).
Lately it has gotten much worse. Since I got married and moved out, she has gotten more aggressive with my father. It used to be like entirely verbal when I lived at home.
 Over the last year it has begun to get physical. She has choked, slapped and hit him. She has hit him with a shovel. She just tried to push him out of bed (he just had knee surgery) and hurt his knee. She said he was being lazy. The guy just had his knees replaced! 
It's not all the time. Shes really happy a lot of the time. But she has always gotten these ""moods"", just different now. The smallest thing will completely set her off.
She baby sits my children and my husband is worried about that. She loves them dearly and we know she'd never harm them, we are more worried about them seeing or hearing the way she treats my father.
Even in the presence of others there are very hurtful comments she makes to my father. 
My father is the nicest man in the world and he doesn't deserve this. My mother is nice sometimes and doesn't desvere to live with undiagnosed mental illness. I'm really at a loss.
She won't admit she needs help. She says shes fine and my father is being dramatic. She wont go see anyone, or talk to her doctor about it. She won't admit theres anything wrong at all. She says she isn't ""crazy"" and that my father has turned us all against her. 

I'm 24 and married with two children. Still having to deal with my mothers issues is not how I imagined my adulthood. I love her but I don't know what to do to help her or my father, if I can even do anything. 
My father has given her the ultimatum that she has to get help or get out. He just can't take it any more. 30 years of marriage. 30 years hes been dealing with her emotional and now physical abuse. I want to support my dad but he doesn't know what he can do either. Everyone tells him he has to call the cops, but is that the only option? Is there nothing he can do for her if she wont get help?

Looking for any serious advice.",2.347671840354767,4.427071545454549,3.720820399113084,87.50049889135256,77.86363636363636,6.201773835920178,22.77716186252772,7.217587316427113,0.8634778270509975,1720,53,342,21,41,564,206,440,0.09,0.826,0.084,0.5641,2,0,0,1,1,1,55.0,3,0,3,2,19,18,1,0,17,0,53,10,3,3,4,60,87,24,1,5,18,15,0,1,0,5,5,4,2,4,16,23,0,0,6,0,0,3,13,8,0,1,12,7,67,9,40,64,10,32,0,3,3,2,90,12,0,9,15,240,83,1,0.0,0.11062279400289668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824712792602912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537507169205605,0.0,0.0,0.12698341870102622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652832952559828,0.0,0.1536636243415604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519089282732168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533656590499627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789190061380036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925113637670597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975470260584581,0.0,0.09556349688587064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502356743720112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333400167611072,0.0,0.0,0.08921469097019723,0.0,0.0,0.08801663932215913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511838169633594,0.0,0.053061738274081886,0.0,0.07467288147561972,0.0,0.0,0.0924464768890598,0.0,0.09938926032970444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522965058299062,0.0,0.2503235790560788,0.0,0.09365316142995507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19989929590300196,0.0,0.0,0.09744927532343743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393363296027726,0.07610530512369999,0.10532029715397108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045613644029473134,0.09357671140820717,0.1648868102168164,0.0,0.07840346542562977,0.0,0.0,0.07937596895123154,0.16853193225755775,0.0,0.062322164550860974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822712490502085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923270025418306,0.06863435036790676,0.1384586000265441,0.07200919278000402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958666977188384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710086338489026,0.0,0.0,0.10367128596565917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962459928506765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881192581878992,0.14849591051549368,0.0,0.0,0.14880035518305298,0.0,0.0,0.1054763859266647,0.0,0.07723286713544363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923408198894458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456177098651541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021266512293284,0.10595000908756537,0.0,0.0,0.07019920082013978,0.07504361411405694,0.08160552075025526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062027858004048024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888429237748257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06338901359094265,0.10155480177575467,0.09120448057992722,0.0,0.11230714359505012,0.08063777385211368,0.0,0.07703627634913651,0.05506936291099907,0.07410915040525708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896342981993357,0.095147372550328,0.0,0.10208046557492984,0.0,0.18037287094634266
mentalhealth,throwawaylikemylife9,2019/04/11,"I think I’m losing my mind I’m scared and I think the right word is petrified. I don’t know what to do. I just made a massive mistake in my life and I can’t even think straight. I find myself regularly staring at nothing for extended periods of time - thinking only bad thoughts about how I’ve fucked up my life. 

Other people have mentioned I haven’t been myself.

I quit one of my jobs this morning thinking I would have to pay back roughly $2000, which I could manage, and it was all making sense to give myself room to breathe, but I just found out I will be owing $12,000. How did I fuck this up? I can’t hardly even cry, I just keep shutting down and staring into nothing. ... I suppose at least now I’m putting words down and thinking about things.

There are so many responsibilities I have to worry about, even after I’ve quit now. I’m so fucked. I’m so absolutely fucked.

I’ve never been this depressed or anxious or made this many big mistakes at once ever before. I’m not the person I used to be. I think the best parts of my mind left or died. And it’s my fault.

I don’t know what to do. 

I don’t see a way for things to get better.

If someone would just please take this pain and stress away and just kill me, I would be so grateful. I’m too much of a coward to do it on my own.

I realize I’m only talking talking about me me me in this post, but I don’t know where else to go or what to do.

I keep thinking I have a plan figured out for a path towards getting better, but I just continue to fail or screw up everything I do now. It didn’t use to be like this. What the fuck happened to the old me. What happened to happiness. Friends. Laughter. Motivation. Love. It’s all fucking gone. I’m slowly losing every good aspect of my life, one at a time.

I’m sorry to those who created me, I most definitely failed to give back to the world. I think I failed to give back to nearly anyone. I think that makes me a bad person and I shouldn’t be here anymore. 

I don’t think I’m going to make it. I’ve lost sight of any happy ending. Hope just died about an hour ago. I don’t even know what’s keeping me going.

Someone please tell me that life can get better. I’m so terrified it’s just going to continue to get worse like it has for so long now. 

At least I’m not staring at a wall now... thanks to anyone who read this and a thanks in advance to those of you who can offer any advice. I’m so fucking scared that I’m not myself anymore, I’m scared I’ll continue to do things I normally wouldn’t, continue to fail, continue to be miserable. 

Fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck. I can’t do this.",0.529562403697998,2.620376909090912,2.548865947611713,93.39204468412943,84.45454545454545,5.256086286594762,20.77657935285054,6.537327507922955,0.22077134052388248,2020,63,452,21,59,676,215,550,0.248,0.62,0.132,-0.9976,1,0,0,0,0,1,67.0,0,1,0,16,39,47,14,5,16,0,44,20,1,10,4,85,121,28,3,11,20,0,2,2,1,6,5,0,1,2,36,13,0,3,21,1,2,7,17,33,0,2,11,7,59,14,66,97,9,63,0,9,5,14,16,30,13,8,26,289,95,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05093488796938828,0.0462047070228864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089210128548941,0.0,0.0,0.058885189191083376,0.10338583815865098,0.07289250875240834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04897213539031728,0.1202402231727615,0.08704258616304722,0.0,0.0,0.044353613855527774,0.0,0.05470083460364069,0.13829810508554127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041616705984093234,0.0,0.057255674752935776,0.0,0.0,0.044894252925674616,0.0,0.10819279209713828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04354284386235132,0.0,0.046166318843699546,0.0,0.0,0.13770942109147835,0.047149066648046974,0.04391664775900008,0.0,0.04684561520377235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047640315400135774,0.0,0.0,0.05715118407920925,0.04027080860880142,0.5782526509730609,0.10893038019747098,0.15000603094260648,0.11849289183076447,0.043719068179299776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09218601448362254,0.11097375676382447,0.046692791026445184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0517708101624442,0.05133155821440834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051724944299509815,0.1389903958720573,0.05766739083497654,0.0,0.1145837654574044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05663278781770996,0.0,0.14726665491783114,0.05093022546748517,0.0,0.0,0.04612802588125995,0.0,0.1166266596215706,0.056899412207818564,0.0,0.04704386971802906,0.09864182024041454,0.10437935708927802,0.10569094036975213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526059366528556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03831707610110273,0.0,0.0402011777621571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051070371239832865,0.10002860739245094,0.0,0.05469528220721022,0.055510269959278914,0.07064102963077297,0.07928517462288097,0.05546352219272453,0.0,0.0,0.056445122158763586,0.0,0.03613616070577877,0.09102518679413844,0.0,0.11443281565374107,0.0,0.0,0.049920303650301714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052398932830689963,0.0,0.1108804025696056,0.05213802199778598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04451353991271868,0.0,0.0,0.1565554005989931,0.0,0.041536012964772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883288506474705,0.0,0.0,0.05834845710263738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970777027187476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03919069832588736,0.083790459369006,0.045558600498093633,0.09597739853567036,0.0,0.0,0.10388644211488827,0.36738791141991706,0.0,0.04138056742344205,0.060787749791154075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003665659403504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041373538769503886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293436738698139,0.053118724010472206,0.1110820043749275,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hijk178,2019/04/11,"Participate in an Academic Research Study on Interpersonal Stress and Suicide Risk (18+; $50 gift card raffle) [Mod approved] I am a doctoral student in Fordham University’s Mood and Behaviors Lab, conducting a study on the role of personality, interpersonal stress, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors. The study aims to investigate whether there is a relationship between certain personality characteristics and suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors, and how perceptions of interpersonal stress and relationships with close others may play a role. **You do not need to have a history of suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors to participate.**

You must be 18 years of age or older. Your participation is completely voluntary and you can end the study at any time, and all data is confidential. After completion of the study, you may enter a raffle to win one of two possible $50 e-gift cards.

If you are interested in participating in the study, please click on the link below. **You must take this survey on a desktop or laptop computer.** This study should take approximately one hour to complete. 

[https://fordham.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_eyxdAL1elTNHeyV](https://fordham.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eyxdAL1elTNHeyV)

We hope that this research helps us better understand risk factors for suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Thank you very much for your time!

​

Note: This study has been approved by the IRB of Fordham University. This study is for my masters thesis, and there are  no conflicts of interest to disclose. If you would like contact information for myself, my faculty advisor, or the IRB, or more information about how your data will be used/kept confidential, this information is provided in the informed consent, which you may access before deciding whether to participate or not.",8.272659932659934,11.874310062937065,7.6851670551670574,58.830371665371715,65.5034965034965,11.230044030044027,37.51566951566952,10.903163001774269,5.495591970991971,1482,77,199,50,27,464,158,286,0.127,0.7559999999999999,0.117,-0.784,0,0,0,0,0,1,75.0,2,12,0,5,5,15,0,5,17,0,23,1,0,2,4,51,33,22,5,8,11,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,0,2,9,14,0,1,12,1,0,1,3,5,0,3,5,1,18,9,35,18,3,21,0,0,1,0,26,12,0,11,9,135,27,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122995897094072,0.1247407724887334,0.06981099723561059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873544431075108,0.0,0.0,0.0907927066320724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322905050425302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507486859575127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092456560701524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880952987506407,0.0,0.0,0.1019626113375054,0.10109750461971807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05015353988452573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546548191591798,0.07611964650642583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912750884375288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17927410666150534,0.0,0.11268771601359795,0.0,0.11573153159521835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220432663281196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527833631514181,0.0,0.0,0.5614562467749338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15437216179964908,0.0,0.0,0.09451374387778556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32599611247209115,0.11972147406210006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028200227671367,0.1068706549829509,0.12348499940000443,0.0,0.0,0.08470364603922638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292533638893497,0.0,0.1247407724887334,0.0661084212087107
mentalhealth,throwitaway5980,2019/04/11,Husband needs help My husband told me he wants to kill himself. I don't know how to get him help. I am afraid he will refuse it (I know he will). I'm so scared. I don't know how to help. He refuses all my suggestions.,-1.810803571428572,0.09637214583333532,0.6051190476190484,102.9375,98.375,4.40952380952381,17.273809523809522,6.18269132825596,-0.5005690476190474,165,5,43,2,7,55,29,48,0.194,0.6579999999999999,0.14800000000000002,-0.5486,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,10,13,3,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,9,0,3,10,1,0,0,0,0,0,15,0,0,0,0,22,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15701537502207305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.604320058940339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324937260692135,0.0,0.4954929801618369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22284039893312912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008845942667821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871708557313629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17726134451348893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CaitlinNoGoYea,2019/04/11,"I might not be as smart as I think I am I know that I have a learning disability, yet I deny it. It is hard to accept though, even when all the evidence is there. 

I hated the way they talked to me in life help, like I was a child. That was many years ago, i don't go there anywhere anymore. But right now, I'm trying to figure out how to stop talking backwards, like my sentences come out backwards.  But then again, doesn't matter. Just more problems I don't want to deal with right now.

I need some playing cards, so that I can play solitaire. I've been thinking of solitaire for the past few days and I declare war.",1.4922395833333333,3.3829570781250027,2.5825,95.54583333333336,79.78125,4.891666666666667,22.385416666666664,5.46131890053228,-0.0027833333333333607,478,15,107,2,12,152,90,128,0.16899999999999998,0.708,0.123,-0.7138,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,12,9,2,0,5,0,13,1,0,1,1,24,22,10,1,3,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,6,2,0,2,4,3,0,0,3,1,16,6,13,17,4,21,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,2,13,73,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812348840946411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20276203013720487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17611780186608708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185500589845267,0.2107816416706484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503900672875155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161951178824178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314936107140475,0.20185460358642499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704026066263034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236179596114526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441090991994848,0.19977041527266015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20728283503970424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21689188744592489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159900405842094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951731303956593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956335156500028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34920278761762313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17093151909953164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3286624928593669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620099270640833,0.20087363052966128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880988724124504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059143411588315,0.16228494858244769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166076400879115
mentalhealth,OnceAHoe,2019/04/11,"Someone I know was recently diagnosed with chronic depression and I have some questions. So my boyfriend’s best friend is this really chill dude. When I met him, a year ago, he was pretty chipper. Throughout the time I’ve met him, though, we’ve just been noticing he’s becoming different.

He’s only 20 years old, but because he has an inheritance from when his mom passed away, he doesn’t do anything but play video games and smoke weed all day. Not to mention the fact that he’s never left his hometown after dropping out of high school because he had complications with his health. He doesn’t know how to drive, and doesn’t seem like he wants to. He’s never had a job either. His best friend is far behind in life. And I feel like the more that time passes, the less he’s willing to do something with himself.

He’s been single for a while, and the only thing keeping him motivated to do anything was getting a girlfriend. But every time he’s close to finding a girl, she flakes on him. Also, he only seems to want to find a girl through online dating. He never wants to go outside (which could be due to his depression, I’m not sure).

My boyfriend says that after he’s been actually meeting up with girls, that’s when he’s changed the most. The friend keeps pushing my bf away, but my boyfriend says that if he leaves him alone the friend will spiral faster. His friend doesn’t even want to play video games anymore, he just sits there watching videos on YouTube. 

ANYWHO, here are my questions:

1. Can an event or situation really cause someone to have depression? Can something like not finding a relationship really cause that?

2. Can chronic depression go away? Is it something like chronic back pain where it just lingers?

3. How can my boyfriend help his friend? He’s trying to get him out of the house today and taking him to go mini golfing because his friend loves to do that.

4. If being single is the problem, would it even be okay for him to be in a relationship if he’s going to base his mental stability on it? Would it be the healthy way for him to cope?

5. Would leaving him alone actually help him?",4.394287732517071,5.930448420924578,4.596216937446041,85.7240499175889,70.8734793187348,7.249697825916332,28.343222666980616,7.717688229018142,1.630264202181932,1675,62,328,20,31,523,197,411,0.066,0.752,0.182,0.9947,2,3,4,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,0,3,18,24,0,0,21,1,39,8,0,5,6,62,61,23,0,12,15,1,1,4,9,5,7,2,0,3,15,13,0,2,11,8,1,8,10,6,0,0,10,4,32,18,43,40,10,51,0,4,1,1,71,16,0,10,28,198,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.1424870969287731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471561727865219,0.0,0.0,0.15122487193461293,0.0,0.0583830551478883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240256204842792,0.0,0.0,0.1201558122635262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20577526677108626,0.05613728388101108,0.0,0.1335117591786288,0.08062964438895187,0.0,0.0,0.15323106692478805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999501584452885,0.07723091025681429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828953347828252,0.0,0.0,0.04708297820602079,0.0,0.2515206330740173,0.07409978591092373,0.0,0.07627597097340706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643985175153848,0.0,0.06151089686869056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03691414309617752,0.05215566475735911,0.0,0.0,0.2001791127217195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39483102128462905,0.0,0.07628548311523548,0.0,0.1659644900283029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760220775837277,0.0,0.0,0.09786907311043166,0.07713508951361936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842393865405569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724474174760727,0.1297825819666531,0.0,0.0,0.08024462862642122,0.0,0.0,0.154606110998522,0.07932148168407714,0.0,0.05156645876387129,0.14266862368098773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589097224381786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357310782691359,0.0,0.0,0.08550401333127215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16892071404661171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311807587331323,0.0766077566191777,0.0,0.0,0.16657358137420794,0.07768377523468531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07427358135164225,0.0,0.06985710167735393,0.0,0.0,0.16356737002157873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030897965005834,0.0,0.07208484383871804,0.15676273677327204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611496749641133,0.0,0.07388620160881311,0.0,0.13292425835823776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082062060508381,0.0,0.0,0.12371588224406485,0.16861128609494064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688075070667444,0.0,0.05489159865216698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048502094710955526,0.0,0.0717282495567603,0.0,0.12771155811353455,0.0,0.06920136892648207,0.0,0.0,0.0495664374001324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224386213091206,0.057948946611531375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555845918060384,0.0,0.0,0.09402723605637038
mentalhealth,eric43089,2019/04/11,"Flying Issues From birth to 17 years old I never had a problem flying, turbulence was an annoying not a fear. At 27 I flew again for the first in a long time and I couldn't handle the bumps and drops from the airplane. I'll break out into a cold sweat (my shirt was completely soaked), feel the urge to get off the plane any way possible, all sense of well-being leaves me, and my heart feels like its going to jump out of my chest then my ride home from the airport I feel completely hollow. At almost 30 this year I was given alprazolam (0.5mg tablets) recently to prepare for a flight this summer to the east coast and it's only for flying. I was instructed by my doctor to try one at home and one at work since I may have to travel for business at some point so I know how I feel on it. My main question is how long do the benefits last for most people? I know I can take it up to four times a day if I really needed to but I heard it can become addictive and that's the last thing I need (I want it for flying ONLY). So I have a three hour flight to Chicago Midway then a two and a half hour flight on to Albany International in NY. Would one realistically last long enough for my travel that day? Anyone else use this med for what I need it for?",3.8593441514536835,4.259543954022991,5.091133648861844,85.90693711967545,71.1455938697318,8.133513635339192,23.01577642551273,8.124751697461798,0.9434677034031996,976,20,216,13,17,325,150,261,0.008,0.954,0.038,0.6289,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,1,1,19,0,14,6,4,3,2,36,31,15,0,8,3,0,4,1,0,2,2,1,2,0,14,10,0,0,7,2,0,6,3,3,0,8,8,6,25,2,40,20,5,48,0,0,0,0,2,16,0,6,24,143,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368558078995436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361144324508687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715508970411307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933222389475242,0.1162507658233988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530505576059167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379163657877751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634159071867509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612870798553315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477930441482224,0.0,0.0,0.11723207714802135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767139451505155,0.22947037874594856,0.0810541647576348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650701547213246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059276937086355626,0.0,0.06448059468349898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13444785643117693,0.0,0.0,0.2276145388151712,0.0,0.22346585342337608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842030488851317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470670980535115,0.27744937270603737,0.0,0.12013526480499125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05542967472172869,0.0,0.0,0.3012193384204911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260258671768166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523822200087197,0.08750553080544968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905471353133272,0.0,0.23064551109879985,0.17257930430358853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865724587817481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725414793801624,0.1279064482016688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856364414467863,0.0,0.0,0.12709852918547446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07268387308415873,0.0,0.11202573749589526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385333696158933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085306029587801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537621836633758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231613121919591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703029387450093,0.0,0.11083163380770523,0.0,0.0,0.09799097769998114,0.0,0.0,0.06692025901980465,0.09005739813755713,0.0,0.0,0.1020120491993333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259851734327704,0.0,0.0,0.08059705624604357,0.0,0.0,0.14612600795089484
mentalhealth,DevilWoman18,2019/04/11,"Feeling unwanted and unneeded. So I've been mentally unwell for about 6 years. Been on medication on and off for 3 but been taking it consistently for 5 months. However I feel I'm becoming worse. I'm constantly angry, snappy, and sick.  I do suffer with anxiety and depression, and I used to cope really well but I'm feeling overwhelmed in my life. I do work and I have meaningful relationships (husband is wonderful and my boyfriend is very supportive, yes we're poly) but I have abandonment issues. I don't feel needed, or wanted and I don't feel I have a future. I constantly feel like a failure, that I'm weak and unworthy of love. I'm basically asking if anyone else feels or goes through this, I'm feeling unsure regarding where I can go from this..",2.8929885057471267,5.468860827586205,5.025517241379312,76.24954022988508,78.65517241379311,9.383908045977012,28.28735632183908,9.725611199111238,3.4123011494252875,600,27,107,20,15,207,91,145,0.261,0.5479999999999999,0.191,-0.9464,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,2,1,13,5,0,1,0,32,36,16,0,5,6,1,8,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,10,0,1,10,0,0,1,2,5,1,0,3,8,13,4,13,33,0,11,0,4,0,1,4,5,0,4,6,63,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728780742597204,0.0,0.0,0.10720347118745012,0.15709235179138975,0.0,0.0,0.14333158113580385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932762344710947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33136446029472866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132052520413235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807746879100226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6201772729553288,0.10953036974919224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713412072593336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002410016851326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829299791958563,0.07490340299603823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837543029265698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544516986031299,0.15450842667558926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122376920074271,0.0,0.0,0.113683312709617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821940078608213,0.0,0.0,0.1646060940988109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398338582622305,0.0,0.0,0.11527601315152985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324174772716143,0.0,0.12650336046304672,0.0904308956371116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785124430170995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662667700427873,0.11161728915961752,0.0,0.15624408314201774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987317291387382
mentalhealth,ztartennery,2019/04/11,Is anyone here injecting INVEGA TRINZA? What side effect do you have?,3.5500000000000007,6.707287333333337,5.433333333333334,66.79500000000002,92.33333333333334,9.066666666666668,14.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.526533333333334,56,1,7,2,2,19,12,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway_account524,2019/04/11,"I could use a little help from Reddit. Not sure if this is the right sub Reddit for this, I need a little help.

​

I've recently started my first office job. I don't know if this is a psychological problem or a physical one. When I'm at work I have a really hard time on staying focused. My eye sight goes fuzzy, I struggle to understand conversations. Even walking through the office makes me feel light headed and that I've done drugs. It  feels like I have lost 30 IQ. I'm really motivated, I often do similar work at home for fun so it's not that I'm disengaged at work.  The big problem with this is the social aspect. I'm so scared or talking to people because it's so debilitating, I will string together barely coherent sentences that don't quite line up with the conversation making me look like an idiot. Or stare blankly for 5 seconds before mustering up a response. First thing in the morning I hype myself up and its fine, but quickly it comes back.  My job is extremely important and involves national security, the vetting process for the job was over a year. That's why I've made a throwaway account. I'm not even sure I could retain my job if I went to the doctors about this, what ever this is. Hopefully someone on Reddit will have had similar experiences to me. I've tried everything from getting more sleep, eating right, going to the gym, drinking coffee, not drinking coffee, walking to work, not eating lunch at my desk. Nothing works, It's very stressful.",5.245631578947371,6.5294350631578935,6.1562719298245625,76.30598684210527,68.54385964912281,8.928070175438597,32.14473684210526,9.255337874911486,2.9691789473684214,1183,51,211,23,20,391,160,285,0.083,0.831,0.086,0.2437,5,0,3,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,10,11,15,1,3,19,0,18,10,3,5,3,38,40,14,0,9,12,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,18,6,5,2,5,3,1,5,7,7,0,4,6,8,20,8,27,30,1,33,0,1,4,0,7,17,0,8,12,132,38,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573625440741888,0.11857976193529406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503893334634566,0.0,0.05948856865010856,0.0,0.08303996248391354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840631802172681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583170809394875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988516709395764,0.0,0.09986611982079542,0.0,0.1911976281450159,0.11317077374786726,0.19971320177810406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289115380582751,0.08827368020920358,0.0,0.0,0.08770555070727995,0.09545951628011938,0.0,0.0,0.0986865673516672,0.06971668703561315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601613043648036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098555618500679,0.0,0.05546135047917182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741942940060989,0.0,0.1001531553075156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082198400208814,0.0,0.09788844049397223,0.09692662581349924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873630183195093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363165905624709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535286179595348,0.19561706634228024,0.0,0.0,0.08194910713802317,0.0,0.10652852483417467,0.0,0.0,0.0923398607246532,0.1302811224510614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236005823313275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936380497905248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612796501173185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765503796589864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675653804864634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379655307877184,0.0,0.0,0.12503438527795607,0.0,0.09635610093927252,0.0,0.0,0.16667876022091785,0.0,0.0,0.0977023325520536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765819720071188,0.09947839155467958,0.08268575890912455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907309086249963,0.1040155256107296,0.0,0.0,0.11178640413664236,0.10201987404913228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395054336628328,0.0,0.0,0.07843731319364604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483294524701158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056904184612567375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625565640418299,0.0,0.0,0.10159225867301616,0.0,0.08428445774564394,0.0,0.08052008963861483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046479460791124,0.0880577389667963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35522511399912343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857976193529406,0.06284329247323757
mentalhealth,TheLevExperiment,2019/04/11,"My girlfriend needs help Shortly Before me and my girlfriend where a thing she was raped by someone she considered a friend. She didnt talk to me about it untill two days after. Ever since then shes been fading in and out of reality, recently its been getting worse. When i found out what happend I told her to go to the police and she refused to. She has only told two people and i have been trying to be respectful and avoiding tring to cuase her stress but its gotten to the point where its not only getting worse but its starting to affect our relationship and  its not that im worried that shell leave me its more of a if im not around i dont know what she'll do. At this point im the only person she hangs out with. She has been diagnosed  with anxiety and depression which im sure doesnt help (Especially when you add in the regular marijuana consumption and on and off heavy drinking). I dont even know what questions to ask or in what direction to point her but im hoping that someone out there can help. I aprricate you at least hearing me out",3.387241093620549,4.998309751173714,4.4758133112399925,85.28947804473904,73.55399061032864,7.453079259872964,26.144435238884288,8.124751697461798,1.5722650648991996,839,29,169,13,17,274,115,213,0.102,0.7979999999999999,0.1,0.1109,0,1,1,0,0,0,11.0,1,2,0,0,9,8,1,2,7,0,17,3,0,1,2,37,31,18,0,3,8,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,1,17,18,1,2,4,1,0,2,7,4,0,2,10,1,27,4,31,19,2,31,0,1,0,1,30,19,0,4,10,126,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942513918829452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242544570525503,0.0970615022279687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834664748591907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695794427526568,0.0,0.08942353040921269,0.10537925859580144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24336210367789735,0.10170807493526868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857482752300327,0.09391482696343964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383774791599086,0.08021422885006442,0.0,0.10848759619858707,0.0,0.059005618900967026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170172870573811,0.0,0.2087732826158244,0.0,0.0,0.1031207407445981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5607391288089519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141180013814466,0.0,0.0,0.10993471270611753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698424187055189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23688868046073164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197854636528284,0.09065518444828413,0.0,0.0,0.29444195155963965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630673403064501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251375636698568,0.1114682098844019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588435420799183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17593961692517002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348722020887549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893013610033353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785296936262773,0.0,0.0,0.08344986499487024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897610726066024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984167208606618,0.0,0.0704897370518738,0.0,0.20284208539728427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10543839585790447,0.21161122069290608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,parzival808,2019/04/11,"Scared of becomming schizophrenic The past 2 months or so ive been having alot of anxiety because i can't stop thinking about becomming schizophrenic. 

I have an uncle with schizophrenia which I guess is the main reason for my fear(and i may have had a bad weedtrip 2 months ago). Recently I've felt a little out of touch with reality and my anxiety has gotten worse. 

The worst part is that i get anxiety because i can't stop thinking about going bonkers and the anxiety makes me feel like im going bonkers, a neverending cycle of bullshit pretty much.

Im a 26 year old male and Ive never had any problems with mental health in the past and im not on any meds or recreational drugs. Im not seeing or hearing anything thats not real.

I would appreciate some advice.

I feel crazy just for posting this.",3.4671428571428606,5.6420130254777074,4.341533212010924,83.90982484076436,74.79617834394905,7.288262056414922,28.411737943585077,8.192908349453996,2.0869075523202905,643,27,120,11,14,207,96,157,0.183,0.742,0.07400000000000001,-0.9444,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,11,0,15,4,0,2,1,32,28,8,0,2,7,0,4,1,0,2,4,1,0,1,4,8,0,2,6,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,5,6,13,1,14,21,6,18,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,7,12,73,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110898221701598,0.1007732203059252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461683021286046,0.0,0.3478690807012614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935515154567177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492065069324486,0.13860034086473705,0.25110813305574564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13183631892067565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279251077568284,0.11496319531708,0.08121523854380504,0.10915361624060237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939473437311596,0.0,0.12921746573604664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252347655653227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083983291063105,0.12812913043281773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49118908004569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055539826588697036,0.1139403447133975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588436059944059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627631036677803,0.0,0.1145658392117181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18148155217309267,0.0,0.0835701685004237,0.0,0.0876794249810274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192913033910549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310773289142275,0.21704678947887396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088769972072052,0.11565659559780042,0.0,0.10877938576949346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939627083810842,0.0,0.1168851739181804,0.11224835911862042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381662815457412,0.0,0.09059072234903336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900883454914616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456870967985406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585280422675336,0.08075722164954313,0.0,0.0,0.07320819743607325
mentalhealth,restoranbuenasnoches,2019/04/11,ELI5: What's the criteria used to determine whether someone should be hospitalized? Is admission related with preventing that person from doing harm (upon oneself or others)? Do all mental disorders/conditions require hospitalization?,9.971764705882354,14.613951176470591,9.589705882352943,41.44867647058825,66.64705882352942,13.988235294117649,46.735294117647065,11.698219412168324,8.992376470588235,196,13,17,9,4,63,34,34,0.146,0.8540000000000001,0.0,-0.6298,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,1,8,6,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,17,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5597092290608604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4849509637981586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4705858099423621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796844140643152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,abehf,2019/04/11,"My Mental Mind I've been experiencing this problem for over 8 or so months no, I'd say as of now I'm at my best with it, however I do still have my flaws. I have a problem where if I'm with people I will speak to them in my head and it seems as it they notice. I do this all the time and it seems as if they are picking up on me doing this. There had been a few circumstances where I will be speaking to someone in my head that I'm with, and someone else will say is he speaking to you? Or another example I spoke to someone, then carried on the conversation In my head and I was called a cunt. Once I sat down at a dinner table, spoke to someone at the table in my head then said, actually I shouldnt do that to him, to which he replied no you shouldnt. Now I used to do this every second of the day and i would never have a single thought ""to my self"". However today I am much better at it and do think to myself, however sometimes I still find myself speaking to people in my mind. I'm wondering if anyone has any reassurance, explanations or personal stories for me? Would be in much need and appreciated.",3.7406410256410254,3.9876669957264994,5.6222051282051275,82.53946153846154,71.35042735042734,8.633162393162394,27.993162393162393,8.648137234880735,1.843277264957264,863,29,190,14,15,300,114,234,0.065,0.877,0.057,-0.2184,3,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,2,3,2,8,6,1,0,9,0,26,5,4,2,2,35,41,19,0,10,6,0,0,0,0,7,0,9,0,2,12,10,1,0,6,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,9,10,32,3,36,23,6,28,0,0,0,0,22,17,1,9,11,148,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.1147440157047297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996045066890575,0.12329599471567858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221674551241917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233960711436172,0.10399258035590732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006535739815817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583128728347534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822548226122517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906872226951492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746870301003153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4826961934554787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849597643437418,0.0,0.23745055808849536,0.0,0.09385360364635144,0.0,0.17287402222825962,0.08718628125121315,0.0906872340639968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13386898896707686,0.0,0.1252220239550181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303445055701885,0.10266891270396612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502204184734287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184832926830753,0.18701339196520492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408623682215286,0.12266468003362865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985106705411687,0.0,0.11629256243101402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18780382105763327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534241841989893,0.0,0.09334774284059012,0.06856357450705526,0.0,0.11145490551833398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015539320662534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275137135800137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670551343984047,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Verjay92,2019/04/11,"Medication crisis My doctors office has continually fucked me trying to get in and see a doctor. I moved counties and I was forced to get healthcare in Long Beach, who deemed my case too severe so they sent me to the county mental health. I waited three months for intake with psychiatrist and when I got there this morning they informed me the doctor canceled on me. They told me that I could come in a months time again. I have had to go to an emergency clinic to get medication and it took 6 hours each time. The issue is that I work 1 job and I am starting another full time job next week, but they can not accommodate. I feel like I have no choice but to go off my medicine, Wellbutrin and trileptal. 

Any advice?",4.009136363636365,5.687877692857146,4.713636363636365,83.9368181818182,72.07142857142857,7.090909090909091,24.870129870129876,7.686295010490155,1.2027857142857141,567,17,111,7,11,182,94,140,0.121,0.879,0.0,-0.9234,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,4,1,5,2,1,0,6,0,9,8,0,0,0,16,24,10,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,9,0,1,2,1,0,6,2,1,0,1,6,2,22,1,14,17,2,25,0,0,1,1,8,6,1,0,14,74,27,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311364950123465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959408708108923,0.1535703204739185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615759004281693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693200694154753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497071819920005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405179934012897,0.10462712925504504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539483203250666,0.2295493060815157,0.0,0.16646694305136608,0.0,0.11713304833583947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556742927040634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422818864476802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528604555119452,0.2906670003240153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155027454809641,0.0,0.0,0.12960763027734604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950750165532077,0.14759169685811951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23379718088716656,0.1556579637169095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575602996936766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11670528076338693,0.0,0.0,0.16545190659438316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103661254041296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561964028312495,0.0,0.0,0.13994355786432264,0.16271634633459686,0.0994329969084329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747697173045844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662062555565474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LoveMeLots98,2019/04/11,"Trauma Process? So I started seeing a therapist and he told me that it's sounding like I'm currently experiencing a trauma and going through the process of shutting down due to the trauma. My ""fight or flight"" is stuck on high alert and it's apparently starving the rest of my brain of resources causing high alertness and exhaustion as well as highly volatile mood changes that reach extreme highs and lows. There are a lot of stressors in my life but no specific events to point to and say ""that did it"" yet he said that if that is what it is, we're going to have to work through the entire process and sometimes that includes PTSD throughout recovery. 

I've never heard of this happening just from immense amounts of stress and no specific event. While I have had my life threatened by a crazy person via text and I've had to listen to accounts of not-so-extensive child neglect/abuse, it hasn't really affected me much besides an occasional ""Oh wow yeah that's not right."" Has anyone ever gone through a process to get through a trauma that seemingly just came from stress? Severe anxiety, anger, depression, etc. all point towards this thing that I've never heard of happening. While I've always had anxiety and outbursts, the more concerning symptoms I described to him (physical changes plus increased outbursts) only started occurring about 6 months ago. It's not exactly a textbook example I can do much research on... Thoughts?",7.0933632689717125,8.26745438931298,6.4541760215536605,76.23938706780422,64.26717557251908,9.67615626403233,38.69420745397396,9.773937934552695,3.986465379434216,1158,61,195,23,17,356,157,262,0.205,0.73,0.066,-0.9894,2,0,0,0,2,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,8,15,2,2,13,1,14,5,1,2,5,29,33,19,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,2,19,12,0,0,2,0,1,5,7,11,1,0,12,8,11,3,33,21,9,33,0,2,1,0,12,14,0,4,15,125,30,3,0.0,0.13870161448815438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377011061710932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740656746717406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910717190070552,0.0,0.0,0.08185382165337987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306820611270505,0.0,0.13388994961123984,0.0,0.12025690274406353,0.24767623140800465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082699128169284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055722628345112,0.0,0.10589102662501096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116107173375384,0.0,0.13306025819543735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070384931902628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4947378767523123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537143135076576,0.0571915230183955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952356694958496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343931198584132,0.0,0.1721109160400531,0.0,0.1805738389922384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903239378661057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221570821661184,0.0,0.0,0.22132650431054696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684146953739648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499415108292662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999719565024821,0.1113546046987912,0.09309393565329832,0.0,0.0,0.09328479580691043,0.10657060516118766,0.0,0.13224891985661616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577921998146815,0.0,0.16571690420651927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26819267235021804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167424613740582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592024530779748,0.07777207334121546,0.0,0.0,0.0929356841674674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185960167760818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525453178692967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522393518704098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,toobeedetermined,2019/04/11,"My stress is leading to aggressiveness, and I’m worried about my family Throwaway.

School has been hitting me hard.  I’m doing a-lot of productive procrastination.  Even knot tying.  The problem is I’m starting to not get spurts of anger, but a settling anger that’s constant.  

I’m starting to get bad thoughts about me, my family.  Thinking about pushing my siblings, or yelling at them, feels more possible than it ever has.  The thing is I haven’t yelled or touched my siblings in years.  I know it’s abnormal behavior to have these thoughts.  What can I do to just calm down and stop thinking this way?",3.6300804505229287,6.191308371681418,3.9756556717618663,84.8559694288013,75.90265486725664,6.940949316170556,31.511665325824623,8.00094639256281,2.420653097345133,478,24,88,8,11,149,75,113,0.199,0.775,0.025,-0.9549,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,7,7,3,1,3,0,11,0,0,1,1,17,26,5,0,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,2,0,1,6,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,3,5,11,1,14,22,1,12,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,6,56,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130946529880772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217172866140789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355137084828755,0.18558918692247664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3868344832941804,0.0,0.10374077387257596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21438707199564785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18379318484553767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275678066172448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442930207114918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312998129388052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19632122489264436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764430894231312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29044260397918936,0.0,0.0,0.17153239357215425,0.23502303068750705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363066948796796,0.2629309688799865,0.0,0.3257661883249793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628554278211964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083614141704855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321235902479519
mentalhealth,Crajyyyy,2019/04/11,"Help me!! The relationship between my dad and my mom is really bad. My father abuses my mom. I am sick of the everyday drama.
They always shout at each other. They always vent their anger out on me.iam just sick of it . I just need someone’s support and help.",0.7757983193277305,3.3117271960784365,2.984761904761907,86.64000000000001,90.76470588235294,5.2672268907563025,17.089635854341733,6.868970318607317,0.3165047619047616,201,5,38,3,7,68,38,51,0.275,0.603,0.122,-0.9038,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,3,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,4,2,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,10,1,6,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,1,27,12,0,0.0,0.2937160045760556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41253835323408944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069826509272986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323186787779227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5806651649473851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18381160576149336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15880840683748107,0.0,0.0,0.2661473329134468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100413196148403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813092331873449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UnknownSubject2018-2,2019/04/11,"Antidepressants Hi there, 

I’m messaging this page as I’m hoping for some advice on something my boyfriend is going through at the moment. 

He’s got put onto antidepressants about 2 months ago. And when he first started taking them, he was clean from drugs and alcohol for a little while. But then he went on a spiral and has started to abuse these substances again. And since then, he has become extremely reliant on drinking. 

I don’t really know how antidepressants work in senses of mixing substances like alcohol and drugs. 
But since he’s gone into a spiral of taking them again, he’s become very offish with me. It’s like I’m constantly walking on eggshells and I’m finding it really hard to communicate with him as I’m scared he’ll just snap and have a go at me. 

Would someone please be able to explain, in further detail, whether I should do anything about this? And what the major effects of taking these substances can do to a persons brain when they’re on antidepressants? 

Thank you",6.511399286987523,7.454989796791445,6.326002673796793,77.4639059714795,65.47058823529412,8.80017825311943,31.62611408199643,8.841846274778883,2.604864884135473,800,30,140,12,12,251,113,187,0.048,0.857,0.095,0.7691,0,0,6,0,1,0,16.0,0,1,2,3,9,5,0,1,7,0,12,6,1,2,0,24,32,19,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,3,4,0,1,1,7,11,3,0,4,1,0,6,1,1,0,1,4,1,9,4,28,24,3,33,0,0,0,0,16,13,0,2,16,86,16,1,0.13950397621117558,0.16528939995123906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632167099521436,0.12366185772293625,0.2981746494029167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479988591268113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30814236290894786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557325741866261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507542385887791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666078696852674,0.3235606456475552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750410692939335,0.11866201089958668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856664910240892,0.0,0.11157407370683464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496816131176824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855892555142058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666773698150085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363091923175184,0.1398196331731399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135074286619312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218094911083938,0.0,0.15313347362205512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024002734900767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17873963872869186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966781685280458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307982614323947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820126633621525,0.10739697643499063,0.0,0.0,0.19748326477059025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146688858802537,0.0,0.0,0.1284365183449461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151053904125146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932158357829046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156055616607357,0.0,0.0,0.0990996221358051,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wateryingfireyang,2019/04/11,"Needing a mental health day Hi y'all, I've got a mind numbing job which for 8hrs I put cans on shelves and I'm alone with my thoughts which quickly turn to self harm, which has happened at this job already, I'm needing a mental health day but I know I'll feel bad because even I have a stigma that mental health isn't something that is seen it's felt inside. I'm not sure what I'm asking here but maybe some guidance and advice",1.9588186813186823,3.696018000000002,2.7209752747252764,95.81464972527478,77.7912087912088,4.55,23.46291208791209,3.1291,-0.10035274725274768,342,11,75,0,8,107,64,91,0.151,0.8490000000000001,0.0,-0.8883,2,1,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,5,4,0,0,1,15,20,4,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,3,5,1,5,16,1,6,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,3,36,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891839473443472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783501045911005,0.16817140608128325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246852787542674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272432582233712,0.09289843060333176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965640244894776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006553010437374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705536909554768,0.0,0.14632286732002106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188401029053265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347621820834967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4859655075187146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024565668011445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375217407368613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310101865332998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4607342202964264,0.0,0.15387526371755944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259975656083116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319882449988892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898096968860456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173209308048474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363025683024774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098441597834818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576173652452936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nouveaumaid,2019/04/11,"I'm scared to talk to people This kind of a rant but I think I'm starting to feel lonely. Sixth form is awful because everyone picks on me and I've lost my other internet friends because they got bored with me. I'm so scared to reach out to people because I'm so paranoid and I don't trust anyone after everything's that has happened. I used to talk to some many people before but now it's just me, myself and I.",1.6789772727272734,3.492068034090913,3.45,89.92000000000002,78.88636363636364,5.763636363636365,22.363636363636363,6.6274283507984215,0.5337454545454547,329,10,69,3,8,110,59,88,0.28,0.662,0.058,-0.9673,0,2,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,4,8,0,2,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,13,14,7,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,10,3,12,12,2,5,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,41,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14145796221257334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699739417559031,0.0,0.17214860457273048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933132868765845,0.18182074890106012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229264532094016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630211169718838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180362226911554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17889966989126532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106719123866447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22084230711143696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20510784036558175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4207632095354361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40508978350261465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319414231200095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32521387555626985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12963034368997314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17472854459553294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,weirdofailuro,2019/04/11,"First time post I dunno about the sub rules but here goes. I'm a massive half-asser, procrastinator. I've always been. I've been a defeatist since I dunno kindergarten. I actually remember slowing down in a race because I realised I couldn't win it. I've always pushed work till the last moment. And I've always told myself "" I'm smart enough to handle the situation"". And then fallen into the sick cycle of cripplingly low self worth and self esteem when results inevitably didn't go my way. I'm 25, going to be 26 in September. I've only had 7 months real work experience. I'm joining a new business programme in July. Meanwhile I've destroyed my health by chain smoking and no excercise. I might also be addicted to porn.

So my parents decided enough is enough. My mom dragged my 25 year old ass to a psychiatrist last week. And he diagnosed me for depression and anxiety. I'm on meds for that and also additional sleep medication. 

I can't believe how inept and callous I am and how far I've fucked my life up already. Being medicated for depression is a real wake up call for me because I never realised I had it honestly. 

Oh and I've alienated all my school and university friends. Good friends too. I've like nobody to talk to right now. And I just wanted to get this off my chest.

I want to be stronger. I want to be of use. I want to contribute. But fuck me sideways I actually think I'll never be good enough.",2.0102361751152067,4.547862767857146,4.115437788018435,81.64440092165901,82.03571428571428,6.8986175115207375,26.175115207373274,8.049812674583475,1.9955864055299533,1125,48,210,23,31,384,162,280,0.189,0.7020000000000001,0.109,-0.9821,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,4,12,14,3,0,10,0,17,14,4,4,3,37,34,22,0,5,3,2,0,1,2,1,7,0,0,2,4,14,0,0,3,0,1,4,6,6,0,1,6,0,27,8,28,20,5,35,0,3,0,4,10,12,3,3,18,120,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.19480167856292127,0.10880838885187882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110143582556546,0.15963715153977026,0.2491514787244608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635490756181218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168734506014728,0.0,0.0,0.11245247263437927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019178778726244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193360862885632,0.10130575320666924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4125245110955208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763401070528564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489892515651216,0.0,0.0,0.15422698887486155,0.18454675617685967,0.052146967975141616,0.0,0.11344943484782315,0.16743294894343227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609410014912664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271807400290636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704992447826292,0.04876246335696443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086718009965496,0.20109754676845293,0.0,0.1058833731668393,0.0,0.11689707826052788,0.07966794354023449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396032038267704,0.09639779003019223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473453317541777,0.0,0.0,0.0759105302757196,0.0,0.0,0.1108279636637535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559105443467704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272128417684039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306605914153972,0.08523778714737731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010137507624996,0.0,0.0,0.2082486430701899,0.0,0.0,0.08256443732519897,0.11219140173341924,0.0998827758876768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022405491318399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395466240677028,0.0,0.0,0.058200418210122576,0.0,0.0,0.09537339521758434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620439292484862,0.0,0.0,0.2354837328325584,0.07922508293170136,0.08006211807675072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453267476495675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427481438396199
mentalhealth,Spareaccount9,2019/04/11,"I tried something new - it reinforced negative thoughts I recently pushed myself really hard to join a community game server and talk to people.  It's not a public server, it's for the community of a gamer who is very pro mental health matters so I assumed everyone would be friendly and welcoming of each other.  I figured I needed to do something different and get out of my comfort zone.  I thought this would be a good place with like minded people and it would be kind of therapeutic.  Instead my anxiety level has gone through the roof.  I've barely slept all week, my stomach is in knots, I've barely eaten and my heart won't stop racing.  There have been several times I've experienced snipey remarks, passive aggression and being down right ignored (tame compared to toxic public servers I know, but I think the gamer who started the server would be gutted to know any of their community acted this way).  In short I don't feel welcome there.    
  
I know I have to learn to keep experiencing uncomfortable feelings and learn to process them and live with them instead of just avoiding all the time, but this experience so far is just reinforcing my desire to shut myself off from the world.  I'm trying very hard to not just run away from the server, but would this be the right thing to do in this case?  I'm not sure I know anymore at what point my behaviours are healthy or avoidant.",7.8863711001642045,7.5733453793103465,7.730522714833063,72.84353448275866,62.639846743295024,10.522276956759717,35.88423645320197,9.957137785484203,3.4928903119868635,1108,45,197,20,14,355,149,261,0.087,0.828,0.086,-0.3123,1,2,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,3,0,10,12,1,2,12,0,23,6,4,0,3,52,41,14,0,7,10,0,4,1,1,6,1,0,0,0,14,12,1,5,13,1,0,4,6,4,0,0,6,6,23,8,31,23,3,29,0,0,0,0,12,17,0,2,8,131,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551412619641025,0.0,0.09619819661922734,0.0,0.12470993877889383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814600752234895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138169978062011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015925260543535,0.0,0.12300736204738985,0.0,0.0,0.12716568020121827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715392679746702,0.0,0.06569904199423232,0.0,0.0,0.105472904475448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22529411045206715,0.0,0.0,0.13366607900118918,0.0,0.1490140314240294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177213480927853,0.0,0.13094898931338395,0.2764350442914568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143496452868736,0.0,0.11103931238614882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672614771187604,0.0,0.1269713765988302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324182886842136,0.0,0.12144986949891005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435805404629676,0.0,0.13138169978062011,0.0,0.11887413749414688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055849483422052,0.0,0.12416268440887088,0.0,0.0,0.21477915877910714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14206139776580426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19361656614919165,0.0,0.0,0.08900630368294933,0.0,0.0,0.10513240209649326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851762908724744,0.0,0.0,0.10107286688655387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354253069118718,0.08057534722234139,0.0,0.19966247300115456,0.14665135360857354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075161979831074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20751338796230892,0.0,0.0998142797680511,0.10086884553247792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4466449890288915,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,purple-catz,2019/04/11,"Did you know.. I want to know why i was ignored when I was feeling suicidal? I tried to call my girlfriend but there is something blocking me from getting help and getting better. Her WiFi was down then my WiFi was down.. If it was god why would he actually alow me to spend 5 hours in my room on the floor crying my eyes out?
Like what the actual fuck",1.6370238095238072,3.69875452777778,2.8436507936507947,92.99500000000002,80.1111111111111,5.780952380952384,22.785714285714285,6.868970318607317,0.5472714285714293,274,9,60,3,7,88,53,72,0.192,0.631,0.177,-0.5204,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,2,4,1,0,2,0,8,2,1,0,0,11,15,5,1,3,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,6,2,12,2,9,8,0,10,0,0,1,1,6,7,1,1,4,39,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.4566327234356993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20692327566441607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389047080245321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569998720429144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11829987457551185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21629712971657994,0.2444744026957836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682199426409768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304086704032761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571623964595606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430361693178134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801179017400579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25592004035240035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884706607744098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799878296916662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4222345453785479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620222090831868,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MarinoKlisovic,2019/04/11,"Healing Through Honest Conversation. Hello,

This video documents the case where a schizophrenic girl get's cured through an honest conversation about her illness. To make a long story short, the truth was directly and openly stated by an external source (her doctor) about his emotions that resonated with her emotional state. She was so afraid to take the responsibility for her emotions.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyL0jjI93OI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyL0jjI93OI) 

Marino",15.069076923076928,19.373379292307696,8.723076923076928,55.67692307692311,48.384615384615394,11.353846153846154,37.615384615384606,11.20814326018867,5.304907692307693,414,16,43,10,5,106,51,65,0.038,0.8079999999999999,0.154,0.7998,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,5,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,3,9,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,1,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687717222711859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8861343301262372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719229937222135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23238365365765304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528068821097892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743480221347398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bonbear,2019/04/11,The safer way to taper off antidepressants Most therapists don't talk to their patients about how to taper off or warn them about the effects of tapering. This article breaks it down and talks about the science behind it: [https://elemental.medium.com/the-safe-way-to-go-off-antidepressants-249662e7957d](https://elemental.medium.com/the-safe-way-to-go-off-antidepressants-249662e7957d),28.22317073170732,31.945887048780488,14.853780487804885,25.08115853658537,19.97560975609757,13.078048780487805,40.012195121951216,12.161744961471696,5.0504048780487825,343,8,30,5,2,78,32,41,0.033,0.9,0.066,0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,11,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,0,24,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34436549519586035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4870257209100339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35176726106914685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7214417141602517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ExtensionShow7,2019/04/11,Is my son autistic or what? My son is rude to people and doesn't want to talk to anyone ever. He just sits in his room all the time alone writing stories. My wife/his step mom is constantly on his case about how he doesn't appreciate her and only cares about himself. He is tearing the family apart with his disrespect toward her. He has a high IQ but does nothing with it. He gets jobs and then quits when he gets bored. He thinks he can become a writer but has nothing to show. I read one of his stories and it was only two pages long and made no sense. Is he autistic?,1.2888700564971742,3.4141636779661013,2.645,93.613488700565,81.71186440677967,5.289265536723164,20.002824858757066,6.42735559955562,0.05599774011299452,446,12,97,4,12,144,76,118,0.116,0.867,0.017,-0.8381,1,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,4,0,11,0,0,2,2,18,17,11,0,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,1,2,0,1,3,2,0,2,2,0,11,1,12,15,2,14,0,0,0,0,21,6,0,1,6,58,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20521409517222725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854464255581786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188309278184288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020177337754349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214119795743186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339433455002548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792296821003099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18678949624154206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20704076243540367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093466160435624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19662415361601632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17534835792885306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874855998259484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320600904454121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38024285056824797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342653225616552,0.30138998824730995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373658707598344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21074711247256456,0.19819440282365006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925805602737156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269606132451329,0.0,0.0,0.11553748403960208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935547541203054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686856753116764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bad__blood,2019/04/11,"Anxiety Problems Hi all!

I’ve been having some issues that I’m hoping others could give some advice for.

I have severe depression and anxiety and have had it for the past almost 10 years now. I’ve always had trouble being stuck in my head, troubled by the what-ifs and whatever else. To say the least, it really holds me back socially and it’s incredibly frustrating. I get so anxious about being interesting and engaging that my mind goes blank and I can never think of what to say in a conversation - I’m best at group settings where I can chip in every now and again but I’d really like to be a better conversationalist. 

My psychiatrist has mentioned that because there’s so much going on in my head all the time, information is easily forgotten or jumbled up. I feel like that might have a hand in it? It just sucks because I feel like I’m incompetent or stupid bc I have trouble with social situations, even though objectively I know that’s not the case.

Anyway, I’d really love to hear any kind of advice from people who’ve had similar issues. I do go to a psychologist as well, but I really find it helpful hearing people’s experiences. Pls help free me from social awkwardness 🙃",3.85486899563319,6.033225262008737,5.725281659388647,74.40888318777296,73.67248908296943,9.121484716157203,25.860480349344968,9.642632912329526,2.6779116157205234,951,33,170,26,20,327,139,229,0.145,0.65,0.204,0.9696,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,14,21,3,1,9,0,19,4,3,0,3,32,36,15,0,3,6,0,3,3,0,1,0,4,0,0,13,8,0,1,6,0,1,2,2,9,1,0,5,7,16,13,23,26,7,20,0,1,0,1,16,9,1,7,11,113,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22438741585099944,0.0,0.0,0.11496840230673412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955334202894232,0.0,0.0,0.0780766192185331,0.0,0.17566290625944053,0.12970574748711958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828393148817287,0.0,0.13997759522501033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048891644741233,0.10154256298055443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166865270827508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888806869083096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591133506515796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583275032337587,0.0,0.09673470872659076,0.0,0.0,0.11230891777566288,0.0,0.0,0.11610557029995194,0.16404452854963714,0.0,0.0,0.104936789783337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059984932466297276,0.11013886875045177,0.1305014836323815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356620465454321,0.0,0.25880466735303137,0.0,0.15391315624757146,0.0,0.0,0.11403498438874675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396694006313921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955982982495855,0.06309809458331468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827515682707514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036230055517525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179820295101945,0.11592816606218193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440059487771745,0.0,0.08855068452922163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960177822438393,0.15919343386834012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986031300548847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29420799607041465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826074424429379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970574748711958,0.0,0.0,0.1290543615016402,0.0,0.3511114742542376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356738568585088,0.11280296145174915,0.0,0.06694824821854814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323046673373272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393565819480961
mentalhealth,ChocolatePen03,2019/04/11,"Help I'm trying to battle my own thoughts and feelings,  but I just can't now.",3.9705882352941204,3.5570566470588254,4.92235294117647,90.05058823529413,70.76470588235293,6.8000000000000025,28.764705882352942,3.1291,0.8003411764705879,61,2,14,0,1,20,16,17,0.115,0.767,0.118,0.0129,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37727849193359375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5001321067353421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5923638877283008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5065904063957336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,efilwen123,2019/04/11,"I’m not strong enough I’m not strong enough to walk away from my relationship. I’m a coward and hide behind anything I can. I have caused so much hurt that I literally want to die. I can’t imagine living with this guilt. I feel like I deserve the treatment I’m getting. But it hurts so bad. Idk what to do. Idk what to say. Or how to feel. 

1) how do you walk away from a relationship... I can’t do it. I keep taking the emotional abuse because I feel like I deserve it.. 

2) how do you accept what others have called you or made fun of you for...",-0.6722988505747125,1.4596168275862098,1.6673793103448276,96.8822183908046,91.93103448275863,4.47264367816092,17.21609195402299,6.079149491110277,-0.4756073563218384,416,11,99,4,15,140,65,116,0.273,0.62,0.107,-0.9698,0,0,0,0,1,1,20.0,0,4,0,2,5,10,0,1,4,0,9,0,0,5,0,19,21,9,1,1,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,1,5,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,4,15,6,13,20,3,4,0,2,0,0,8,2,0,2,2,64,24,0,0.0,0.20111571458907507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968264811224565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31895512598313425,0.0,0.14172691681840446,0.10347273663462696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733248717072696,0.0,0.0,0.17437109884331425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616469732619014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19093614479917712,0.0,0.3507763282272024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574789432154828,0.2425264739215253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868283683762082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634231995652946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15087388938112675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585407549476602,0.0,0.1498847003547926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061334650422351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477940504049345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3644773196620549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349851150753652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762435232068636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011783171486953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chumbo87,2019/04/11,"Travel anxiety help Hey folks,

I could use some advice here on how to handle a situation I'm currently dealing with. 

I'm on a vacation with some buddies and I think I just experienced a panic attack. We were eating at a restaurant and I felt like I couldn't talk and had a pounding sense of anxiety. I excused myself from the table and I've been in our hotel room trying to relax for about 40 minutes now.

I've had this before on trips away from home without my family, typically on the 2nd or 3rd day of the trip. This is a bit longer; day 2 of 7 in a foreign country. Any pointers on how to work through this for the remainder of the trip? I felt super selfish and I'm very scared of how my friends will perceive of this, and the last thing I want to do is de-rail what has been a very good trip thus far. 

Thanks",2.8125203619909485,4.037961582352942,4.502941176470589,86.07015837104072,74.3529411764706,7.34841628959276,26.018099547511312,7.882392219407189,1.398343891402715,639,22,136,9,13,216,105,170,0.095,0.772,0.133,0.7506,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,0,0,2,7,10,1,2,14,0,12,1,0,5,0,26,21,10,0,3,3,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,9,1,0,4,3,0,5,2,4,0,0,7,3,13,6,28,11,3,21,0,0,0,0,8,11,0,3,6,88,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17214608638245965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197980233024208,0.0,0.2695309959379514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20041275538890946,0.16551251578881826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990316748584465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923262042406964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065316228037603,0.0,0.0,0.22722328963988725,0.18161804965139636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026044713758704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607238199095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382914381036777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610439472505798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775857545573726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807947157065775,0.0,0.1767075375682962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359772653645175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606516419622888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066912951070655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17637157679527346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19801648126155896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415944967350452,0.0,0.16218876881613073,0.0,0.0,0.11703598555750873,0.11287921368654423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960425392490785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15214972174808494,0.0,0.29070862081400245,0.103906492497166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698164650093952,0.0,0.12824998510639812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonymousdepression1,2019/04/11,"Possible C-PTSD from emotionally abusive relationship has triggered once dormant debilitating depression and am spiraling TL;DR: I'm experiencing symptoms of trauma, which has triggered my old depression, and it's been an endless spiral of questioning self worth, blame, and deservedness.

Long version: I work in a trauma informed field and have battled clinical depression my entire life, with multiple suicide attempts and a Baker Act so I'm acutely aware of the symptoms I'm experiencing right now. But what I didn't realize was the trauma I experienced during a four-year toxic relationship which ended in an excruciatingly traumatic physical event. A friend sent me an article about c-ptsd and I realized that I was experiencing almost everything it talked about, the flashbacks everyday, the spontaneous crying, the triggers everywhere I look, the inability to function, the paralyzing anxiety, spontaneous panic attacks from any small reminder. 

I'm spiraling and grasping at anything I can to keep going but I haven't found it yet. I haven't been able to go to work for two days, or leave the house. I just didn't realize how much of an impact the abuse had on me. I always rationalized it by saying he didn't mean what he said, he was just upset. Even after he spit on me, nearly pushed me off a balcony, and left me without a car two hours away from my home, I still stayed. I was desperate for some type of normalcy, I didn't want to live as a ""victim"", I wanted to erase what had happened...so I took him out to dinner and I became the loving girlfriend again. After all, I felt I deserved it and he was drunk at the time, so it was justified. 

Feeling deserving of abuse is something I still struggle with and can't honestly say I haven't overcome. I'm not perfect, I picked fights, I asked questions about things he didn't want to talk about, I threw his phone on the fateful night he deserted me in another city. I asked about the secret conversations he had with his ex wife, I found the messages, I wasn't perfect. But does that deserve the endless derogatory comments whenever he was mad? The name calling? The incessant yelling over seemingly anything? Calling me trash and worthless because he felt slighted in some way? I don't know, maybe.

So it's been a month and he's already posting pictures of his very beautiful rebound and I'm angry that he gets to be happy, that he is probably thinking how much better this person is than me, when I can't get his screaming out of my head. How does he ever get to love again after he broke me? I suddenly feel even more worthless, like of course I don't deserve happiness because I'm the one who can't get out of bed, I'm the one with no friends and no hobbies, I'm the one who struggles to find meaning in life, I'm the one who always asks too many questions, I'm the one who caused his anger, it's all me and I have nothing to offer someone else. The reflexive response is to say I do but I truly don't believe that, some people just aren't worth very much, that there is no grand meaning and purpose for every person on this planet.

There's more to this story but the point is that I don't know if it's C-PTSD but I think it's part of it. With depression, I have to cling to whatever I can as a reason to get up each morning, that's just always been the case. I cling to relationships as that purpose because I haven't found it anywhere else. In group therapy once, the question was asked, what makes you get up every day? One person answered the sunset, another said their family. For me, I've always searched for love and support so the idea that maybe it's out there is the reason I get up and why I hold on so tightly to a person when they hurt me. As bad as my relationships have been, I convince myself every time that maybe tomorrow will be better, there's always hope they'll be better and we'll be better and life will be okay. So when that hope is taken away, I'm left struggling to find a reason to get up again. Yes, he did horrible things that I keep replaying in my mind. And yes, my chest tightens and I feel nauseated when a man looks at me. But if he called me tomorrow to come over, I would, because I need that hope I can't find in anything else.",6.002545454545455,6.3530570424242425,6.649848484848484,76.77477272727273,66.45454545454545,9.654545454545458,33.46969696969697,9.541641789337516,3.065315151515151,3360,140,630,63,50,1105,341,825,0.159,0.725,0.116,-0.9805,0,0,1,0,4,1,95.0,1,1,3,9,38,46,6,5,45,3,64,14,3,12,5,116,129,51,1,10,16,2,6,1,3,5,6,7,2,6,42,34,2,4,34,1,2,9,24,24,0,8,34,19,81,22,92,85,13,77,0,8,2,3,79,35,0,15,31,411,123,3,0.049094972610350604,0.17450854342180294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916152331516565,0.0,0.05417752309935305,0.0,0.2042547506403376,0.0,0.0,0.0333862649133848,0.10296071890294334,0.03755751966806888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120293788664675,0.0,0.18358868822613247,0.055852618924642224,0.09225268575019313,0.0,0.040992251431266835,0.11971135848083522,0.0,0.0,0.05531322199911835,0.0,0.17368205445289744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150394368546522,0.0,0.0,0.05043406070344435,0.0,0.042290971737853685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05392852209015784,0.06332439161585685,0.0,0.1691417118789076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592668275299982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303764965997735,0.055225236183986816,0.043483573572872136,0.0,0.0,0.06485353276684462,0.04440921346628877,0.12409389561907905,0.0,0.044123395720074635,0.0,0.046282370836369637,0.0,0.07447167987200111,0.0,0.09427774565151,0.0,0.1346157466063174,0.0,0.0,0.16149031024752422,0.07586130810682341,0.0,0.2052007749491204,0.0,0.055803608657100066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452502252204876,0.0,0.0,0.05038560579816072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049246260487570304,0.1462871562435434,0.048348658592063866,0.05664900677514514,0.052557183585755694,0.05542224821648105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727573486762191,0.0,0.0,0.05396262600438792,0.0,0.0,0.051984487239929364,0.10668366278219413,0.0,0.10403169319656856,0.023985323734562768,0.0,0.04335176027653402,0.04344750583146953,0.08245482421576439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329303887296422,0.0,0.032771275446119144,0.049774596466243534,0.1479674963997656,0.16043645357123032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957192693297547,0.0,0.039187138744221715,0.0,0.10827136142567023,0.03640330011043584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04607230601016072,0.0,0.0471079503183649,0.0,0.05151691509124536,0.10456908708690407,0.19960814417190845,0.0,0.0,0.05760237225546641,0.0,0.053165071066854544,0.0,0.03403627237447169,0.17147134560794736,0.0,0.0,0.04641061801431725,0.05534720496298506,0.0470194126568152,0.0,0.052932684121532105,0.0,0.1721681872038304,0.0,0.2199904209436288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15143342579874627,0.0,0.21083850921169528,0.0,0.0419268383588665,0.09340112317609343,0.1171268782429896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04469421918624512,0.051216763648267626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04159801097354215,0.037795708478794925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232870850867171,0.07841461709037495,0.0,0.0,0.15397417510115674,0.0,0.053701931599226316,0.05571239311647856,0.0,0.1020569493428548,0.0,0.07892135859938001,0.0,0.0,0.05614437984922526,0.0,0.06523303658121551,0.06291615216120819,0.0,0.0,0.05725534668081352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545463210084129,0.0,0.0,0.09591730892356268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810169880900271,0.08687246055739169,0.03896930407522247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04430057654634261,0.0,0.0,0.04732580163819482,0.0,0.07148344955727393,0.0,0.0,0.03487565993881464,0.0,0.0,0.03161555271916089
mentalhealth,Whresearch2019,2019/04/11,"*Mod Approved* Online Communities as Therapy Research Hey everyone,

We are in the search for participants to take part in a survey: [https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/WTKKH95](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/WTKKH95)

This survey is designed to investigate the impactful behavior online communities have on individuals struggling with self-damaging behaviors, such as, but not limited to anxiety, eating disorders, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. In this research, self-damaging behaviors are defined by, intentional or not, actions or thoughts that are harming oneself mentally or physically.

If you would like to take part, please click the following link: [https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/WTKKH95](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/WTKKH95)

Thanks,   
Will Henderson  


  
\*\*\*\*\*   
This study is being conducted by **Will Henderson**, a graduate student in the Master of Science in Media Management Program at Arkansas State University - Jonesboro, under the tutelage of Dr. Mary Jackson-Pitts. This survey is designed to investigate the impactful behavior online communities have on individuals struggling with self-damaging behaviors, such as, but not limited to anxiety, eating disorders, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. In this research, self-damaging behaviors are defined by, intentional or not, actions or thoughts that are harming oneself mentally or physically.   


Your response to the survey questions is confidential and available to the researchers. **Your participation is voluntary, and there is no penalty for not participating.** You can stop at any time you want, and you can skip any questions you do not wish to answer. If you do not wish to complete the survey once you have started, feel free to stop.   


If you have any questions about this study, you can contact the researcher, Will Henderson, at william.henderso1@smail.astate.edu or the advisor, Dr. Mary Jackson Pitts, mpitts@astate.edu.   


There is no sponsorship of this research and is not for profit.",10.694968483500183,15.22273649462366,8.7592015820047,49.39903225806454,62.1899641577061,12.020318872821655,44.02929180571005,11.138193517091509,7.145407267334075,1618,96,171,57,29,487,125,279,0.18600000000000005,0.743,0.07,-0.9926,0,0,0,0,0,0,114.0,1,11,0,4,5,10,0,2,13,0,27,4,0,2,0,47,40,19,2,7,20,0,1,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,9,7,2,4,10,0,2,3,10,6,0,0,4,2,14,5,38,31,4,20,0,2,1,0,17,12,0,13,5,135,23,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043877578257595,0.0,0.15328254007785058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050420927940941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257843075801807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296414369437393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20502858394200654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234655715667327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573108488780084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506565589506966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04894534275847158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20192588321010949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669378212381014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21698123860600305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099730726416105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3366904698418898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4180593231904999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07091147646699304,0.0,0.0,0.16751833406631134,0.0,0.20947028162390344,0.0,0.2191723137035276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065334149985507,0.0,0.0,0.0922369108967303,0.11457030749692525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181428768460426,0.05841869384504726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059091723551573584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304156693345423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116856743415123,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,banzerr,2019/04/11,"Dont feel guilty for hurting my mom My mom snapped at me yesterday for saying that I don’t like something that she had gotten me and she shouted at me asking why I hadn’t said so back in the store, but the thing is, I did multiple times, yet every time I did she’d shoot me down saying “you’re wrong it’s nice”
So when she snapped at me I replied “I /did/ tell you, you just ignored me like you have been your entire life” in which case she kicked me out the car and went on with her day
Turns out she was crying and called my sister complaining about how I’m never grateful for the things she does for me even though that she’s the person who has put me through the most pain
My sister told me to apologize but I honestly don’t feel any remorse for what I said, my mother is the reason I have trouble sleeping and has caused 90% of my panic attacks
Should I half ass this apology so she stops giving me the silent treatment or wait until she gets over the fact that an opinion =/ a personal attack",5.125608974358976,4.8243639326923065,5.352692307692308,87.55897435897438,68.32692307692308,8.27948717948718,27.91025641025641,7.492282038375204,1.3264025641025643,790,22,173,7,12,250,129,208,0.23,0.6829999999999999,0.087,-0.9895,0,0,1,1,0,1,10.0,0,4,0,0,11,13,2,1,11,0,18,4,2,3,2,24,31,14,0,1,4,5,2,2,0,1,2,5,0,2,11,7,0,3,3,0,1,3,5,9,0,1,12,7,42,4,21,17,1,23,0,1,0,1,35,10,1,3,12,122,53,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09532122436542934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13104115260241492,0.3189299571979517,0.0,0.10778300245931713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313046981757235,0.0,0.0,0.1439944368872891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397148399763252,0.09039882952883813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226647638920531,0.0,0.1642796053722662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258175725552252,0.0,0.11810028362835474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417495433000356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323366794559931,0.13446498996237707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005617135040486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900706567039044,0.1369611384269054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283336364723317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081086726372842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915204224907935,0.16446070454389233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24478417470988875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091077404375396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411934163581608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666698248920377,0.2229395325530277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027243245148566,0.0,0.0,0.1079106398186282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117189401728776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225158092680949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862470369814692,0.0,0.13771749475385492,0.0,0.1634699107923946,0.0,0.0,0.1339395908797325,0.0,0.0,0.15246601713008032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299401090191664,0.1264827080072337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325520547379526,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kodeak,2019/04/11,"Existensial dread (24M) I’ve felt like shit for several years now. I just sleep, drink and snort cocaine.
I have everything you could ask for. Nice big home in one of the worlds best countries, nice girlfriend, couple millions in my bank account. 

Might aswell give it all away and live in a cardboard box in an alley, wouldn’t make it better or worse. Everyone close to me panics as soon as i start giving money away to strangers or charities, they think I’m not thinking clearly. 

I’ve tried every antidepressant available. I’ve stayed sober for years. I’ve had different jobs to kill time. It’s all made up anyways. Whenever i speak to another person i put on the fake smile and tell my usual jokes and anecdotes, pretending it’s all good. I can never be sure if everyone else is pretending too. Feels like i’m on stage. 

Should i just stay in bed like a stage 4 cancer patient until i pass away from natural causes? Kill myself? Thought i’d check in with you guys first.",2.36220111448835,5.007878132978728,3.090790273556234,88.84833333333334,81.5,6.346909827760893,23.314083080040522,7.62386473244151,1.2309338399189462,771,27,149,13,21,242,133,188,0.158,0.66,0.182,-0.1481,2,0,3,0,0,1,24.0,0,2,1,3,6,16,3,2,5,0,9,4,2,3,6,30,22,10,2,4,6,0,2,3,1,3,1,1,2,2,4,6,1,0,5,4,4,2,3,6,0,3,4,4,15,10,25,13,4,31,0,0,0,0,11,15,1,4,13,80,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116433864703644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693920327497465,0.0,0.3525692898349912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312708016226992,0.11062904401749288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849852425151742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987157225320473,0.13840608305070248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306890052412618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253737039456752,0.0,0.0,0.10449390873393466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539096153977072,0.23905145419429616,0.112419883624562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324760706428728,0.08936198199577683,0.12010287310805015,0.0,0.0,0.10639870517294453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399891710703415,0.0,0.10491681100807466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385552477479082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547218505303556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412927428412948,0.0,0.27677985819591244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18333316774009373,0.0,0.11045387068861846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836008454265508,0.08349636087063493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326972489171879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647459438697037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476200275806421,0.0,0.0,0.14676232143465864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922090425954126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574670874218868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413123957765599,0.12839972661953966,0.0,0.0,0.12517706206452536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853702842899387,0.2666516130394758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178927588456269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933131188084304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16030104638683276,0.0,0.099304888063186,0.07293907580885213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492567599611417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13776535648909075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747406017760304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16110350073519958
mentalhealth,lethalbananana,2019/04/11,"Where should I start with getting help? In my early teenage years I had a major deppresive episode as well as issues with eating and anxiety. During the next good couple of years I've been to many psychiatrists (who said they can't really diagnose me until I'm an adult and prescribed me meds that had very bad side effects, so we had to stop them), psychologists (who focused more on my family relationships than me and didn't have a specific therapy program so we often sat in silence), and a therapist (who said I'm a lesbian because I don't care if boys like me, I reduce myself to a child by using a diminutive of my name and that I'm manipulating everyone because I sat in the middle of the room... hmmMMM). All those tries were unsuccessful.

Now that I'm a young adult (traumatized by the experience above) I'd like to get a proper diagnosis as I feel my untreated mental health is even more deteriorating. Should I start with a psychologist? A therapist? A psychiatrist? Should I get a proper diagnosis first? Or jump straight into therapy?",6.134537290121045,7.19879394923858,7.570761421319798,67.7746583365873,66.36040609137056,11.137680593518157,32.92034361577509,11.051253699011982,3.995169777430691,836,35,146,25,13,288,120,197,0.081,0.8220000000000001,0.096,0.4289,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,2,2,7,6,0,0,17,0,13,4,0,3,1,24,29,13,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,3,2,2,1,4,7,11,1,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,1,1,10,3,21,5,22,16,4,22,0,0,0,1,16,10,0,3,13,98,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361136932450533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400142123230097,0.18106322623146395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514180095117597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432584184887938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073668097813786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196498022857066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980908580797096,0.0,0.0,0.1419097000284525,0.0,0.14527335574195085,0.14000401444973454,0.0,0.07509219281900184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632433787444058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23277436750142885,0.0,0.0,0.12456492455382827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786144440598954,0.0,0.0,0.09954454705717576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500807410473186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451110455247668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15056798510878278,0.0,0.0,0.16496349149622888,0.0,0.14966529183238447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794433004200945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514067030865296,0.0,0.0,0.15944644341252415,0.0,0.0,0.2825380801039565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21023529328639198,0.0,0.0,0.12416278664593773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396731163782744,0.344868047984196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082998445620556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826679298971452,0.0,0.12253805678334866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353023619346924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19127387900584664
mentalhealth,Wobbuffet964,2019/04/11,"Seperation anxiety tips Hi all!

So I have seperation anxiety. 
First I had it pretty bad as a child and was afraid my parents would leave/forget me. Then it sort of went away for a couple of years and then it came back when I started dating and having girlfriends (15 year old). I think it came back because I didn't feel safe at home and with my parents and I only felt safe and loved with my girlfriend.

Now I'm 28 and I have a really bad seperation anxiety with my current girlfriend. I see her as a save haven and when see is gone at night (party, vacation etc) I get panic attacks or high anxiety. Because I don't feel safe on my own. I'm seeing a therapist for some time now to work on the traumatic experiences of my past and she suggested to take Oxazepam or anti depression drugs to break the cycle of anxiety and experience the world doesn't end when I'm home alone.

I'm not a big fan of taking these drugs so I'm on a quest to learn everything there is to know about seperation anxiety and healing trauma. I'm also looking into creative therapy like drama and sports. I will do all this stuff next to my current herapy sessions. 

I have multiple questions:
- can anyone advice me good books, podcasts or other material I can consume?
- can anyone advice me how to deal with seperation anxiety and tell me what helpt them to heal?
- does anyone have good experience with creative therapie?

Any help is appreciated :)",3.3895636363636363,5.627523010909092,4.962545454545452,79.07581818181819,75.25454545454545,8.472727272727273,27.72727272727273,9.174902378510234,2.666272727272728,1128,46,205,28,25,379,152,275,0.166,0.721,0.112,-0.8809999999999999,4,1,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,2,13,15,1,2,10,0,19,5,0,1,2,42,43,27,0,1,4,2,3,1,3,2,4,0,2,1,9,21,0,3,7,3,0,4,4,7,0,1,8,7,27,8,30,33,5,37,0,1,4,1,16,10,0,6,23,132,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17680104191483936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369357744412216,0.0,0.0723441485377923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151872454465605,0.0,0.4844337930955245,0.0,0.0,0.1897639124526642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291603111749102,0.08499404737089339,0.13912269555982534,0.15106757409418284,0.11029221307557227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693377668554933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000968619649502,0.0,0.0,0.09326456698402086,0.07791664033911218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916578780273514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20981938841966705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012438623448286,0.0,0.10089144101879773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130334538230713,0.26547389394043125,0.0,0.0,0.09148278535717494,0.0,0.08685977123336712,0.0,0.0,0.07694876027265482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04726378490973383,0.0,0.0,0.15175407493369875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606362132336373,0.09558034191794124,0.18148583806238486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049716731318742664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04419621445432821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759671025115786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164742785781952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962096504389177,0.08489447711294842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492690832924472,0.0,0.0,0.06880206298946771,0.0,0.10614018911957147,0.20089946702498446,0.0,0.0863582679639114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203456359257273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134055234693493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795365133072656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21626464674586465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403099139939783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355980905965596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603556567261554,0.0,0.07906965497878182,0.0,0.20690728044216294,0.10503585135118937,0.0,0.05796577491157617,0.0,0.0,0.052750373698641086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386117391240529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658589790475893,0.0,0.0,0.06426313703120723,0.0,0.0,0.11651189398412555
mentalhealth,kowaii-sinner,2019/04/11,"Fear of going insane (English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes)
At the moment while I’m writing this, I have a discomfort/knot in my chest and I’m worried I guess?(keep in mind that I don’t anything about my feelings or what I feel) I don’t know how to describe this feelings and my mind keeps going on about the whole “you can lose your sanity at any moment” I don’t know why I’m so scared of it, I know I’m not going to but what do I know? This happened a long time ago too but I actually think I got an anxiety attack cause I couldn’t think of anything else and I was absolutely terrified...I don’t know where I’m going with this, just wanted to get it out of my system...still have that knot but I feel a bit calmer after writing this",0.3376969696969709,2.4240400121212176,2.5740909090909128,92.93446969696971,85.24242424242425,5.121212121212121,20.075757575757574,6.42735559955562,0.12057575757575645,602,18,134,6,18,204,88,165,0.122,0.856,0.022,-0.8852,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,2,9,5,1,2,6,0,11,1,1,2,0,33,37,12,0,4,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,1,11,0,0,4,7,5,0,1,2,4,20,0,17,34,2,19,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,2,8,84,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.13831283126569782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563945010953734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276920462252306,0.0,0.10842682182015906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23327151644482685,0.0,0.0,0.16124392701789958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547378178601332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456008001031187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840133422686748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949118371903626,0.28666172617337715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055964606094392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405064305165962,0.0,0.3222048732855731,0.0,0.11335835903755533,0.0,0.1561369879066852,0.0,0.12533571700579352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25196100906952285,0.0,0.0,0.38946901222687264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254309393951864,0.0,0.15856511519170918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286223719582494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190137549689466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586606330278021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816360207032835,0.0,0.0,0.08264676857894335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359892493063402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278937150848222,0.1582419706463923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439386858811231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wasitallinvain,2019/04/11,"I'm smiling at everything. Sick of it, help Even while there's nothing to find funny! 

I can't stop smiling or laughing while I'm talking to people. I smile ALWAYS when they look at me. So I can't speak comfortably. I'm really sick of it, I look childish when I doing this, I just want to look serious. No matter who I am talking to, I get excited and starting to laugh or smiling. How can I stop this? Help.",-0.05624598930481284,2.2294646588235305,2.5554010695187195,90.50475935828878,90.64705882352942,5.44385026737968,23.02139037433156,6.980632752743323,0.9998235294117652,316,13,66,5,11,109,51,85,0.175,0.4970000000000001,0.328,0.9246,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,7,5,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,10,14,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,11,4,9,14,0,9,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,2,7,43,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897523499025696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506220810460035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20495283456853125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20842970336763575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914450314605785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30570854670982045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5745030387308426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21881606777761625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580982240249656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460919603981453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141197051401615,0.0,0.0,0.38131295166945983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665891051441294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450730424388593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JenJen460,2019/04/11,"My parents were loving and supportive good growing up. Why do I have a deep rooted fear of abandonment? It wasn’t absolutely perfect, maybe a little unhealthy but not traumatizing. But my fear of abandonment is becoming apparent, especially in my adult relationships. What could possibly cause that?",7.020000000000002,10.579340795918373,7.497306122448977,58.76555102040818,69.61224489795919,12.083265306122449,38.37142857142858,11.20814326018867,6.282743673469387,245,14,32,10,5,80,42,49,0.248,0.54,0.213,-0.6386,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,0,8,0,2,2,0,6,1,0,2,1,10,8,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,4,4,4,5,0,5,0,2,0,1,4,4,0,0,0,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657753690918112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472104459850139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921368051637194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5415888735492767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184303120761535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411912095569501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21719303862288347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417619512559156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672096773021322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271292991920222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583644920023219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730830188392205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714621294943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Username-taken783,2019/04/11,What is wrong with my health? For the longest time i've had trouble with finding out why im so numb all the time. Its been like this for three years and I don't know why its so hard figuring it out. I've talked to multiple people including doctors. But no one can see what my problem is. Im not depressed but im not happy either. My mind is so blank that nothing really comes out of this. I do have a strange energy level that makes me jumping from topic to topic. But I feel as its due to me not feeling anything. I don't regret anything either cause nothing affects me 99% of the time. And what does affect me just a bit one moment disappears minutes later,1.0775245098039221,3.37444209558824,2.9562941176470616,90.01615686274513,83.92647058823529,5.391372549019609,23.037254901960782,6.742157984588678,0.7819760784313727,519,19,105,6,15,173,84,136,0.155,0.779,0.066,-0.8571,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,5,0,10,3,0,4,1,30,16,9,0,2,9,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,5,0,0,3,6,6,0,3,2,4,11,2,14,14,4,14,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,8,70,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25330106983305706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802417802635966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15810262220073526,0.0,0.1325753555020648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255797668573532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752808188601425,0.1346831255581625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15563778001392073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406661968196095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383451893254172,0.13786846869960304,0.0,0.0,0.16359360297520845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4987307749311059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458205182305156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519011009377091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273264751295663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539997228720911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953516083358644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20857974793243828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669820826017512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726610604156146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859535432375932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264219759527073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370284653040417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692293755149852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777502830147018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827073583603405,0.0,0.09910964371115084
mentalhealth,jjmaj,2019/04/11,"Advise for Mental Health Join a church. Maybe you’ll get some real life advice regarding your personal situation from others, some free food, some live music. It’s cool. Doesn’t hurt to try.",3.5344285714285704,6.521141228571429,4.005357142857147,81.93089285714288,79.57142857142857,6.928571428571428,17.32142857142857,8.07648339933343,0.9291428571428564,153,3,26,3,4,48,33,35,0.08900000000000001,0.7070000000000001,0.204,0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,3,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,12,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814831558117163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483161897090881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15049639060844716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061880634154227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083678970379312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20346114630221285,0.0,0.0,0.2543570685737897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893890843060689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902908055801571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251517750000391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327868655780079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32378490397046006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955698415849626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ireallymissvine,2019/04/11,"Anyone have experience with disassociation & know how to snap out of it? To make a long story short, I’ve been feeling disconnected from everything for the past few weeks. I’m currently on a two week solo travelling trip and honestly I feel like I’m not fully present in my surroundings & I can’t fully remember everything I’ve done (which annoys me because I wanted this to be a memorable trip). I just feel so tired and foggy and like I’m in a dream state 24/7. I even went to the doctor before I left to get blood work done to see if I had a deficiency because I didn’t understand why I was feeling so disconnected from everything but there weren’t any abnormal results.

My mum passed away in November and although I’ve been dealing with it fairly well, I can’t help but feel like this is part of the grieving process creeping up on me? I don’t know how to control it or stop it; I just want to feel fully aware and present again. I’m upset that I’ve essentially spent this trip in a haze. I’ve taken photos of everything and wrote down what I’ve done, but I just don’t FEEL like I’ve actually experienced those things.

Does anyone know how to get out of this feeling? I currently see a therapist and I have an appointment when I get back so I plan on asking her about this. Right now I just feel so alone and confused.",3.8639552238805983,5.2034376343283615,5.266597014925374,81.17056716417912,71.91044776119405,8.942089552238807,27.95223880597015,9.3871,2.362420298507463,1058,39,215,24,20,355,139,268,0.085,0.813,0.102,-0.4273,3,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,3,19,10,1,2,11,0,17,3,1,6,0,48,47,22,1,3,10,1,9,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,14,12,0,2,15,2,1,6,7,4,1,1,13,12,23,6,31,33,2,36,0,1,2,0,6,16,0,3,17,132,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0984813753130378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452057548132494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21868914375146128,0.0,0.06862767617256718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411283738345114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943446734549084,0.0,0.09481574923308772,0.07759968505364373,0.0,0.12303730838586867,0.0,0.08587375443992626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318807790104075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404198963370867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032938124566127,0.08831399040675042,0.30982234554912835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665536346932974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627942354099439,0.09871713347150324,0.0,0.0,0.4592443937836681,0.21628744102652506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581764129287451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676431840375383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638562141309474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964766321291236,0.0,0.0,0.19721367866937967,0.0,0.0,0.0893092224734738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736352463843956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928432067298627,0.09633761578312693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432038047749687,0.08618338988493172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16083710289622266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437193674587459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717353450341482,0.06704541106744333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599035403330665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858218691470552,0.10505915963020923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904805977176244,0.0,0.16190060695244962,0.0,0.09073736943343386,0.09355196372015527,0.09106276576214337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346947974925892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DJ9573,2019/04/11,Running out of time I'm 24 years old and have been diagnosed with clinical depression in 2014.  A couple years ago I told myself I was going to kill myself between 30-35 if I wasn't doing what I wanted to in life.  I want to be a professional DJ and eventually producer but I feel like I'm stuck in this limbo of starting too late to be successful and not making it before my planned suicide date.  I don't know if i should just give up on my dreams now and live out these next few years with a mediocre life.  I guess what I'm asking for is any life advice anyone could help me with.,5.004695550351286,4.623299680327872,6.198946135831381,81.66139344262297,68.59016393442622,9.266510538641684,28.084309133489466,8.841846274778883,1.9046309133489447,459,13,98,7,7,155,84,122,0.111,0.7559999999999999,0.133,0.4118,0,0,0,0,0,2,6.0,0,0,0,4,3,4,1,0,3,0,11,5,0,2,0,23,26,7,2,6,5,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,2,2,0,2,3,2,0,0,5,1,14,2,18,17,1,20,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,3,12,63,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649281903401862,0.1601024233136853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228229539902085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628872732483729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884866475495575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536882607538681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420469055427945,0.19984471984234745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556161156260045,0.18331827447897356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913233005071825,0.12902987977747174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17326033509733862,0.10264646369337947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896545321525785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106100838825748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19982139512937408,0.0,0.09926011711886068,0.0,0.2037391990844666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827166620810896,0.08823833157537209,0.0,0.15948448476201418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056050195376793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19208385018931148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18952283846021908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783872827023424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756117945834611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053168245881214,0.0,0.0,0.1725833498006878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130603159460558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489263252784896
mentalhealth,greenpea1,2019/04/11,"Finding protective factors against suicide: A research study Hello,

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We are currently looking for people to take part in our research study exploring potential protective factors against suicide. You do not have to experience thoughts to take part, as we are interested in the protective factors too.

​

Anyone over 16 years of age and fluent in English can take part. If you decide to participate we will ask you to complete an online questionnaire now, and then (if you’re willing to do so) again every month for the next two months. The questionnaire should only take around 20-25 minutes to complete, but you can take as long as you need. 

Some of the questions will ask about current mood, any suicidal thoughts or self-harm. If there is a chance that this could be upsetting, there is no obligation to take part and there is always the option to stop the questionnaire at any time. Any answers you give within the questionnaire are completely confidential and anonymous. If you would like to take part, please click the link below. This will take you to the survey and study information page.

​

Link: [https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/finding-protective-factors-against-suicide-1](https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/finding-protective-factors-against-suicide-1)

​

Thank you,

​

Rosie

​

Note: 

My contact information: [r.pendrous@chester.ac.uk](mailto:r.pendrous@chester.ac.uk) , and I am accountable for this research.

There are no conflicts of interest.",11.838571428571427,14.1971351948052,8.141541125541128,64.12088311688315,54.19480519480521,10.835324675324678,43.538528138528136,10.793553405168565,5.360356190476192,1254,65,159,27,15,347,126,231,0.112,0.815,0.07200000000000001,-0.8979,2,0,0,0,0,4,94.0,4,9,0,0,10,6,0,1,12,0,21,0,0,0,0,36,37,17,3,8,7,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,5,11,0,1,1,3,1,0,1,2,2,15,4,31,27,7,22,0,0,2,0,21,8,0,8,14,114,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051088649542981215,0.39915289319669583,0.44763695589851593,0.12525969523561725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042931409215425584,0.0,0.0,0.05465787375597414,0.11479902087266602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931261539869201,0.0,0.0,0.04902187797843156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05173106560827604,0.0,0.0,0.060059724894279465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05611731330423158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05889924227150487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029996310847323588,0.0,0.0,0.05433593079186437,0.051559457054011285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801573728980152,0.0,0.0,0.04552636929421658,0.0,0.0,0.06529823010204651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669648959419191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324441261644054,0.0,0.042566138257188565,0.0,0.0,0.067397351532942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878061271015556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405225045070022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051332075107484505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20148068683736692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36931354095261537,0.0,0.0,0.05652768772114344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748744303240102,0.035802084552107184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997762310716628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361588561853549,0.0,0.44763695589851593,0.039538759512648465
mentalhealth,conofgames,2019/04/11,where are we now - diary #4 this is a video where i talk about my mental health to help others.,5.526,3.8872956000000016,5.780000000000005,89.24500000000003,68.0,8.0,20.0,3.1291,-0.3105000000000002,72,0,17,0,1,23,19,20,0.0,0.863,0.13699999999999998,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5904597049881023,0.0,0.0,0.37233311851240203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5598030880487435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4464816774015297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwamea,2019/04/11,"Psychosis ruined my life - Don't know how to proceed  

Around 3 months ago, I had a psychotic episode in which I thought that my parents were sociopaths that were statutorily raping me.

It all seems so absurd to me now, but back then I truly believed that because of the way my parents ""looked"" at me.

That day, the police were called, and I got sent to a psychiatric hospital where I still held on to my delusions. I got diagnosed with psychosis, and it took me around a month to get back to normal.

My parents were severely investigated because of my accusations.

Now my parents hate me for the hell I put them through, and I honestly don't blame them. They're really good people that did nothing wrong. I'm probably the worst daughter in the world.

I need to die.",6.166316590563168,6.7001856164383575,6.3352968036529695,78.535197869102,66.12328767123286,9.502587519025877,34.71537290715373,9.444778638647367,3.1405062404870634,604,27,114,11,9,193,91,146,0.204,0.6890000000000001,0.107,-0.9603,4,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,0,10,8,3,0,8,0,8,3,0,1,1,15,21,7,1,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,6,0,0,12,1,23,2,18,9,2,23,1,1,1,1,9,8,1,1,11,80,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12192137227837355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448804462043106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211520340052794,0.0,0.1676868487995069,0.0,0.0,0.15496106654682426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404442488933096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870225697011791,0.0,0.0,0.13960073261595365,0.1427453449339914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185924493527376,0.0,0.0,0.1153624626277096,0.2200074368525778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357927884187708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558867280810933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714893684713824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154993963523714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195670617350682,0.0,0.0,0.10198455282585377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347605070029385,0.13197383844833674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6108898826399816,0.0,0.0,0.09535327861592316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14829194341254434,0.0,0.0,0.13826621156748434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811197905164951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125211723766308,0.0,0.1553816382710188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098400369569776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919180947137723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281257851520266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917326280830704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037896717023488,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,samilovesbees,2019/04/11,"It is okay to get help, look after yourself people ❤ So scrolling through my Facebook page and I see someone sharing this Twitter post:
https://twitter.com/patthemanager/status/1074334325871505408?s=19

So I thought I'd make my own list for someone that has broken their leg and wants to take pain relief for it:
Before taking pain relief:
Try walking it off
Try drinking some milk 
Try not sitting down for too long
Talk about how much your leg hurts
Know that people love you and want your leg to heal
Get some fresh air 
Give thanks
...sound ridiculous right, the thing is although the intention was good of this post and I do appreciate that these things will help mental illnesses, it is sometimes as hard to get out of bed as it is to stand up on a broken leg.There is such a stigma around taking prescribed medication to treat mental health issues that even I didn't want to get them to help but honestly they have helped so much. It's okay to ask for help, taking medicine to treat a mental health issue is in way no different to taking pain relief for a broken leg. It does not make you weak and you are not giving up, getting help is one of the hardest things to do! Never blame yourself for having a disbalance of chemicals/ signals in your brain or having a bad day. Look after yourself, go and get medicine prescribed, go get therapy, do something that makes you happy even if you don't think its productive, it is as it is looking after yourself. Look after yourself people ❤",7.080581841432222,7.834841597826085,6.133069053708442,80.00835038363175,64.18115942028986,8.088320545609548,30.365728900255753,7.724431198458867,1.91986726342711,1195,39,213,11,17,360,148,276,0.108,0.7040000000000001,0.188,0.9643,1,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,8,3,0,10,20,1,0,9,2,21,17,5,5,1,28,54,17,0,4,6,0,1,0,0,1,9,1,1,0,21,8,2,0,3,1,0,3,7,7,0,1,3,7,17,13,40,50,6,26,0,1,5,1,23,11,0,4,7,137,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499376892188049,0.07875545326021632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033904698201635,0.0,0.0,0.07168424253760614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404259534522913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432950376541081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880155803670075,0.0,0.0,0.07372126150848607,0.0,0.0,0.08252567040367728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128287734782376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080929478180042,0.16162634442399262,0.09575401482105204,0.07065869079104314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967780755226856,0.07546481708570639,0.0,0.0,0.17909187563133247,0.0,0.0,0.3387962090760769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901834389769862,0.0,0.0,0.17585476196468725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04629752640154408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455204452615544,0.2829702469078221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760322299274031,0.0,0.1686977564867509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486555045237902,0.2546901613503369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385599899526725,0.0,0.0649730817061873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05708496175365702,0.0,0.2689201779456121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752096221639526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136223605478253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719427147854166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713044030888561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275695264664742,0.064854064404493,0.08331807931555253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166997319724529,0.0677110058191648,0.0,0.07755926199350742,0.09633874779023774,0.0,0.1679011080627991,0.05397925252062871,0.0,0.06687920946392265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158557402115227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14906539336673108,0.06686784976423149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RedNickel25,2019/04/11,"What’s the point? I (24F) have been struggling with complex PTSD since I was 13-14ish. I’m on meds and I see a therapist but I never seem to get better. I don’t want to be alive but I don’t actively want to kill myself. I just wish I never existed. I don’t find joy in anything I do I am just going through the motions of life against my will because for some reason ‘suicide is bad.’ I hate myself and the state of the world. The world is over populated and is a shitty place to be anyway. Humans are destroying the world and there are more humans doing harm to the world and other humans than there are humans that are decent. Why is it bad if I want to die? I’m going to anyway eventually, the world is overpopulated anyway, and it’s me and my body why can’t I do what I want? 
Maybe humans wanting to commit suicide is a way to help control our population size so we don’t destroy the earth as fast as we are? Like is the movie The Happening? But much less creepy and not in such huge quantities to cause panic.",1.5465639810426524,3.4929222701421807,3.512177725118484,88.67272156398106,79.85308056872037,6.115734597156397,20.97654028436019,7.1686216300943375,0.5392443601895733,793,22,169,10,20,268,115,211,0.23,0.633,0.13699999999999998,-0.9866,0,0,0,0,0,5,19.0,3,0,0,2,9,11,4,2,14,0,27,2,1,3,3,34,42,15,4,7,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,5,6,11,0,1,4,0,0,3,8,8,0,0,2,1,23,3,23,37,4,20,0,0,1,0,9,12,0,3,4,121,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163293479981992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23606367791698002,0.0861733089325666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502370304993604,0.0,0.15702194433591832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452182967054875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585501395050034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671202656315638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920282549296996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385610687779262,0.0,0.16067920937110336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500645138661215,0.0,0.0,0.1395662688040184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475234905120428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563967360859482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984856185601436,0.06906260987279639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420176992508943,0.0,0.15702194433591832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391775233455984,0.0,0.2180550532207872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16585851443373842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769379531645827,0.0,0.1336333184971538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652452763330257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534426306379694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264766384703405,0.1286911720428845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693657645256696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778284842261655,0.0,0.3092554090573814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641328361283174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4168965237910308,0.11220702601913513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551154588546383,0.0,0.16255997591391336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NoahHaders,2019/04/11,"how can I understand the motivations of others? I realize that I have been struggling with how to intuit or deduce the motivations of others; figuring out the underlying reason why somebody would choose to do something or say something. How to ""put myself in their shoes"". I never gave this much thought, but only realized that I may be really bad at it.

There must be a lot of study on this issue. I'm sure many people grapple with it. Can anybody point me toward resources or books where I can learn more on this? It must have a scientific name or something. I can't search for information on it because I don't know what it's called.",4.8826958105646625,6.403450803278693,5.9458469945355175,76.57775045537342,69.65573770491804,9.028779599271402,29.12932604735884,9.444778638647367,2.6901774134790535,506,19,92,11,9,168,81,122,0.065,0.91,0.026,-0.6704,0,0,3,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,2,5,3,0,1,5,0,15,1,1,7,4,32,20,8,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,13,3,0,0,13,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,1,11,1,17,11,3,12,0,0,0,0,6,10,0,6,1,75,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17882837720873693,0.13055996696397812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869808666647375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22354455352952127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770576757008895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208514615714744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21714128893854173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744432330419153,0.0,0.16518607035916766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628908301042691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848297281663195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20246595917452967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21530647327112573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372069086690109,0.22020904638653854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17032169765741698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4946504505162659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239037127261527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20185875547086254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003216578260275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22296522234647356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932609197247269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521447945204808,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NumberedCalendarDays,2019/04/11,Is this really it? Like is it just being bored and slowly becoming miserable over and over until I die? Im so tired of only having fleeting moments of happiness before just being miserable again. I can’t even find anything that makes life really worth living it just feels a lot like a distraction from the inevitable misery I’m gonna fall back into. I feel like I’m supposed to have my life figured out but at this point I don’t really have motivation to figure it out if I’m just gonna be miserable as my default anyway.,4.0173571428571435,5.520329628571432,5.8239880952380965,76.68455357142858,71.76190476190476,9.05952380952381,26.458333333333336,9.516144504307137,2.524833333333334,421,14,76,10,8,145,69,105,0.175,0.7070000000000001,0.118,-0.7433,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,9,9,0,4,3,0,10,3,0,2,0,19,18,7,1,1,6,0,2,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,6,0,1,1,2,5,0,0,0,2,6,4,13,13,1,12,0,3,0,0,0,7,0,2,7,53,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555587966132088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16404084110244554,0.0,0.0,0.2356108769243241,0.18153170205797012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22140723148030286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090523537485225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21573637566463366,0.1524060040594232,0.0,0.0,0.1949836053795952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22709823617442998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23043755786979084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013685267078393,0.3126729609482488,0.0,0.18837801813017246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18136911859151386,0.0,0.0,0.14240224343276592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225028183877285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20166978655457146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4100020778491385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451962945756909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Crossovr12,2019/04/11,"Why can't I cry or feel emotions right now Right now i'm extremely disappointed, angry, hopeless whatever the fuck u wanna call all that type of shit. I want to cry but can't I don't even really feel like I've been actually feeling emotions I'm just devoid of everything that's a person. Idk what is wrong with me but I feel like I fake everything like I don't even truly laugh I just like laugh but like fakely but in a real way it's weird I don't really feel it. Last time I actually remember laughing I was dehydrated and playing bball so that made it feel like a deluded crazy laugh bc i was dehydrated and had like no energy or something idk. I've been to a billion therapisty type of people but they all just go into a complete focus on one issue and only look at that without actually looking at everything and they dont help me for the most part and they usually cost money and uni therapist literally are just mcdonald type of mental health (bc that's how theyre setup not their fault usually) idk. tldr : I don't think I actually feel anything anymore or something Idk",3.077116177540624,5.073816488479262,5.231952461799661,77.89424448217318,75.35944700460828,8.80805238903711,27.089255396555906,9.414487439383343,2.646351152073733,866,34,164,23,19,301,117,217,0.21,0.609,0.181,-0.6494,0,0,2,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,4,0,10,21,2,0,7,0,14,3,1,2,2,39,30,16,0,2,14,0,7,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,8,0,0,9,1,2,1,10,9,0,2,6,9,19,12,15,24,4,15,0,2,2,1,7,7,2,4,13,96,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.3860118420735885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807290256300123,0.0,0.0,0.08137853782451154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009783592935915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036849126909326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21725336124302425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11589904677203472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224772295141512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063261736086978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666294844947667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35001441104427,0.2119423933272856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142276625394333,0.0,0.0,0.05620180694910007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511608353127223,0.0,0.0,0.06628428469610362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321609387856592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060903780179733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33819066422652805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608639563336766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357267685183207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965846554352352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701082990977494,0.07521075752704236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070888830467911,0.0,0.06855829059412133,0.0863474575844848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255915277632854,0.1267037012744595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202377229806493,0.1689040642450517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150977986589607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226163056818226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481960866246235,0.0,0.06336510349128703,0.0,0.0,0.05766390415236096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21782804961558475,0.0,0.05832823808272521,0.0784947553494024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923338510562777,0.0,0.0,0.0953270095389365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812134705957724,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flytokill,2019/04/11,"Friend refuses to take medication for manic schizophrenia Hello all that can give me some guidance,

I have been looking after a friend that I have witnessed from his diagnoses with manic schizophrenia over the last 3 years become increasingly worse. His mother is at this point, I believe, where she is unable to bare and deal with what he is going through. It has gotten to the point where she relies on me to tell her what to do and I have taken on the task to keep him in check. She feels as if she should be able to live her life and is being burdened by him. He is 25 and cannot be forced to do anything. I have had to deescalate many of his lapses and episodes with no help from his family. He has been in and out of the psych ward numerous times and even to rehabilitation centers in other states. There seems to be no progress made and no intention from himself to better his mental health.

From his standpoint, he does not want to take his meds because it has caused him to gain weight in the past and lose libido. He has a horrible drinking problem and he believes it helps him sleep and dampens voices in his head, but often sends him into a manic state. It has gotten to the point where he really needs help but he won't listen to anyone and believes he can cure himself; now with alcohol and even talking about his need for opiates. He has never been exposed to opiates before, recreationally or prescribed. He was on his medication all last summer and he was doing really good. It seems the more he is involved and social the less he has a relapse. More than ever now he drinks until he becomes unconscious and often gets kicked out of bars drinking alone while he goes on about what is going on in his mind.  

I am curious as to what I can do to help before he harms himself or others. He has already been violent with me, but I know if I distance myself from the situation he will no longer have any support (even if he does not want it). It's hard to see a childhood friend spiral like this and i want whats best for him. 

There are so many levels to this that I have not relayed in this post but any suggestions are welcome.

His mom has been able to bring him into the hospital and get him a bed but when she is out of town like she always is, is there a way i can find him help?

Thank you for taking the time to read this, please, if anything i would like to know legalities in admitting a friend or a way to encourage him to take his medication. 

THANK YOU!",6.0927142857142815,5.9439004142857135,6.286020408163267,81.16433673469389,66.28571428571429,8.959183673469388,29.744897959183675,8.418075326091056,1.990938775510204,1953,60,389,24,28,625,223,490,0.065,0.782,0.153,0.9947,0,1,4,0,0,0,35.0,0,2,0,5,18,20,1,0,20,0,53,14,2,3,4,71,85,36,0,12,15,2,3,3,4,4,7,2,1,0,22,28,6,2,7,5,1,5,10,5,0,0,12,7,53,15,73,65,8,55,0,1,2,0,82,29,0,12,19,283,75,3,0.15662179246970448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369053221073951,0.0,0.0811064711687082,0.08641802131895411,0.0,0.06516093902249706,0.0,0.0,0.10650818966951224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054756799466439236,0.0,0.12888639016098033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773759548930594,0.17297646463349828,0.1332736096516241,0.26468868957929154,0.08218245420012253,0.06925962385224599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044686216235908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073509539821815,0.0,0.07948391124695937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706078604587255,0.0,0.0,0.23014459512176005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517082518640266,0.07083668902784437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382454347893386,0.0,0.039596342115498506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715747404371499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24201121668987846,0.0,0.08182842223932693,0.07512294743465346,0.08901177401115691,0.06568346432648771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015118119882076,0.0,0.08036957223106914,0.08324082071504749,0.0,0.0,0.2624507151168757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960632274187155,0.0,0.0,0.08607524112761866,0.12766766489498574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531330193901827,0.1147762447925686,0.0,0.06914995609750275,0.0,0.0657614297340739,0.08760986173531878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409966349567396,0.0,0.1587899148019019,0.0,0.0,0.08698575178908502,0.2366699676974422,0.07891896448536544,0.0,0.07907168127009973,0.09171677520163762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613307456875953,0.06039819088993512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747566115187756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596184774508647,0.2220873277816016,0.0,0.07500019146186987,0.0,0.0,0.07493295157920381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833208827553872,0.0,0.10033593078629577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240364535326263,0.14258259756127764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802472846590514,0.07836745142756005,0.07982809678772489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886627702120417,0.0,0.0,0.2355201922292931,0.06294333202954684,0.06844717500173321,0.14419630370465428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132742670817552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385693866940241,0.12431908871808853,0.0,0.0953615745357725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980549355034948,0.05562981383586114,0.0,0.0,0.05042964965165765
mentalhealth,throwmeawaycuzimbunk,2019/04/11,"Mirrors triggering multiple personalities Lil back story first... 22 and been an addict for 4 years abusing just about every drug out there. Disassociatives seem to be the only drug that fuck with me mentally and  only used when I can’t get anything else. Idk my family history other then my mom being diagnosed with D.I.D, depression (runs in family) and anxiety.Never been professionally diagnosed myself but positive I  suffer with depression,social anxiety and I believe derealization. Only used dxm a few times Never going past the second plateau. Trip always starts out ok up until I look in the mirror.Something triggers where I won’t recognize myself and I will have 3 different personalities come out and talk to me. This goes on for the rest of the trip looking into the mirror with  all of them taking turns coming out. I have no control of myself  during this but fully aware of my surroundings and my actions. Didn’t realize it until now but the weird thing about these personalities is they all reflect different parts of me when I’m not under the influence. Not sure if this is even the right sub for this kind of question, I guess I’m just hoping for somebody to tell me this is normal behavior while on disassociatives and I don’t have some deep underlying issues. Been typing this for over an hour now and under the influence atm so apologize if post is difficult to follow.",6.954852359916298,8.356700407114626,7.750876540339457,65.99976749593121,64.69169960474308,10.854126947221577,31.483143455010467,10.843485225782073,3.8626179493141137,1125,42,176,31,17,376,154,253,0.098,0.8490000000000001,0.053,-0.8148,2,0,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,2,13,9,1,0,13,1,17,6,0,7,4,48,35,21,0,4,9,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,11,20,0,1,4,0,1,8,8,5,0,2,4,2,22,4,37,27,6,43,0,2,2,1,10,18,1,7,16,139,33,2,0.0,0.13951480223432375,0.0,0.12836516288644698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797764825345784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900786258281443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968984301737165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054268087100223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266421935854775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286284359302706,0.0,0.0,0.13206692796126054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141812552404443,0.2390280684959108,0.0,0.24604791755188984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731058343828804,0.0,0.09836523200011477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777293553153149,0.0,0.09920967172326738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22200892933583447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015831014128444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885821703074944,0.06151965035780237,0.0,0.06692018573788812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971518555535907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695257591720673,0.11596028611841368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290067790433434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261877483653727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977611227764859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866456590204542,0.0,0.0,0.13790768019081184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908162588037009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537025305969242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686631339676634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275120558035544,0.11240594592226777,0.0,0.3084449529237422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127721989312652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190723847776406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055807779810218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719541339098901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906499021250741,0.0,0.0,0.08334423936799752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097822557782897,0.0,0.08853354055740922,0.09464319787292128,0.10291891640707196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822803989408253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866112293760626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12807846893940647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20339683467584765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758273061935055
mentalhealth,rianishere,2019/04/11,"If I don't have BPD, then what's wrong with me? I relate to almost every symptom of BPD, except all of my friendships have been long-term. However, I read that I probably don't have it considering I'm thinking that I might have it. I don't know how true that philosophy is, but I need literally anything to explain my behavior and emotions because I feel like I'm going to explode.",6.7291558441558434,5.799789935064938,8.00840909090909,71.93261363636366,65.23376623376622,10.816883116883119,37.43181818181819,10.125756701596842,3.7464571428571434,303,14,58,6,4,105,52,77,0.056,0.8690000000000001,0.076,0.3257,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,1,2,15,18,5,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,11,2,7,16,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,40,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278806773506424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727252344230874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872589587130849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5732384180545388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559880853930719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917393866979171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506733795232503,0.1625776192915246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293345210019891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506772508517694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118027779705683,0.0,0.0,0.20139422846193594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414181325623552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874189666140296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24536131303891606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276337760650065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365346431140341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581907154176124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24881446684988054,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,soggy-lumps,2019/04/11,"Why is my memory so wacky? Why are everyone else’s memories so wacky? Am I making up memories? First things first, I don’t know if this is the right place to post this, but I couldn’t find anywhere else with more than 100 subscribers. 

I’m gonna try and keep this short. Basically, I remember a lot of things no one else does. And not just a few events. Literally every time I say “oh, remember when X happened?” I get a strange look and a confused conversation ensues. And I don’t think I’m making them up either. I had one friend come out to me twice because they forgot, and another friend came out to me THREE TIMES and were super freaked out when I said they already told me the second and third times. I have so many vivid long term memories that no one else in my life remembers, even though I have proof they happened. 

And the weird part? My short term memory SUCKS. I go to my therapist and she asks me how I’ve been and I say great because the last two days were fine and they make up pretty much my whole perception of the universe. But three days earlier I was in a major depressive episode for a few days, and I already forgot? Maybe this is just normal, but I have my suspicions. Maybe my perception of a ‘normal memory’ is actually false advertising of the real deal. Maybe everyone I know has awful long term memory. Maybe I’m just living in an alternate timeline. Who knows. Let me know what you think!



TL:DR; I remember tons of stuff that “never happened” even though I have proof it did. I have an awful short term memory though.",2.385234972677594,4.673428337704922,3.618278688524594,87.22927595628418,78.7377049180328,7.607650273224045,22.29781420765028,8.548686976883017,1.452342076502732,1213,37,248,27,30,394,158,305,0.115,0.8009999999999999,0.084,-0.7751,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,5,3,14,10,1,1,15,2,22,1,0,4,3,56,50,25,0,4,9,0,0,0,2,1,1,3,0,0,12,18,0,3,13,0,0,3,7,5,0,11,11,5,39,5,21,36,14,37,0,1,2,0,17,14,1,3,19,163,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.08015905751321302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129219078591702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613338718243503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07679198306784925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014639466421103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394893388850066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075833738984966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15892500749579025,0.08468512756171327,0.07074906193933607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188329990045185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27447748045011416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850845851651636,0.0,0.06920844941140787,0.1569810184157603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507659456175401,0.13974043498260033,0.0,0.0,0.12692590908364812,0.0,0.042915973167129466,0.0,0.046683374804035865,0.0,0.0,0.0905622004601648,0.0,0.0,0.2179145533206689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301187038205037,0.0,0.0,0.1805730887873204,0.06695695616516573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399608999099888,0.05801955156503979,0.0,0.0,0.07253317561736773,0.1453867409539266,0.06897886276348665,0.0,0.0,0.06983446508750794,0.0,0.0,0.16449191419051645,0.08327942219047299,0.33009201421319223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060384058398281835,0.0,0.06335322296682082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096407101789534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698529060323808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895213047414237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08582124383079957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786696386469068,0.08356827260302388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349594616132212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722049544697975,0.07014909453194157,0.07813615902764236,0.13064574348570582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403330679684822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09537356745303513,0.10914341812691368,0.10526696689518596,0.2421132441662395,0.0,0.14369354632921308,0.0,0.0,0.07849050920788014,0.0,0.05576924496213748,0.0,0.0802411132618294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482413391331574,0.09170896951477664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PickelRick_c137,2019/04/12,"Lost In Life. I’m 16 and I’ve been through much more than I can fathom, I’ve been depressed everyday since I’ve been born, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and manic episode, I have zero social skill (I’m afraid to go into public place, I was abused by my step dad until I was 11 and  I just feel like I can’t love anyone or anything, I really don’t know how to show emotion and I feel so dead inside and out. I am the only male in my family (all female) and my family doesn’t really like me because my schizophrenia, everyone at school and home call me weird and ugly, my mom stopped my schizophrenia medicine because she says I’m fine, but I can’t really say anything to her because I can’t feel anything. My dad passed away years ago and I keep telling her I talk to him and she says she doesn’t care or believe me so she won’t let me go to his grave anymore. I’m so helpless and I really want to kill my self but I just don’t even have the energy to do it 

I don’t know weather I’m looking for help or someone to talk to",2.2476470588235284,3.3674138552036186,3.896289592760181,90.28253393665159,75.60633484162895,7.009954751131223,24.312217194570128,7.5105763829236425,0.9484190045248866,806,25,182,10,17,270,114,221,0.136,0.773,0.091,-0.8979,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,7,12,1,1,2,0,21,3,0,1,1,31,39,21,3,1,7,3,3,2,0,1,2,3,1,2,1,14,0,2,5,1,0,4,9,7,0,1,7,7,37,5,21,30,3,17,0,4,1,1,24,7,0,3,8,109,38,1,0.0,0.1475612582858376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11039848491762833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351165747031698,0.08708228064431663,0.0,0.307461016036295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701079605577926,0.0,0.0,0.2277579439371276,0.0,0.0,0.14031557099709333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271707495041534,0.0,0.12697831300603055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726737217591956,0.12640695463141494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009237337013128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225845604784647,0.0,0.0,0.119004696778855,0.0,0.0,0.23481319859139416,0.0,0.18891570417863446,0.0889724399025945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14155955718045393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347751165813555,0.0,0.12492523324522956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069816699826752,0.13778666693375402,0.0,0.13688945258746588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735207505807195,0.08796731236583068,0.12168932756869424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458345512293922,0.0,0.13595170936448808,0.0,0.11240352501229346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458614461715559,0.0,0.0,0.0915522989019258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471938811840186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011931254286122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31913777900025697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29712108978272983,0.0,0.12604260079617802,0.0,0.0,0.12992389841337376,0.0,0.0,0.10302197804939328,0.0,0.0,0.12695432887802385,0.10552357015450944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041222324693446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20020340698856556,0.10885472052589253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734577765585425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020061337682471
mentalhealth,OppositeAnteater9,2019/04/12,"I feel like a young child. I'm 16 but I feel like a 6 year old. Things like getting a job (even though I've had a job in the past), driving (even though i've been driving for a few months now), etc all feel like ""big kid"" things that aren't for me. I feel the little kid who's trying to fit in with the big kids. I hate it. I've started working out and trying to do more but it hasn't really helped. In fact getting over my social anxiety made me feel even more like that, because now I don't feel too nervous but I feel totally inept.",0.9653846153846146,2.325229854700858,2.68923931623932,96.62103846153849,79.51282051282051,5.705641025641025,20.247008547008548,6.2581,-0.1368796581196583,411,10,101,3,10,136,66,117,0.062,0.763,0.175,0.9026,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,1,1,8,0,6,0,0,1,3,17,19,6,0,0,3,0,7,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,0,0,7,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,3,7,9,5,10,16,6,19,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,13,58,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756006158821793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570960758861751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568082746303426,0.2785986683997917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4976477840818366,0.3013380565607183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691736958765667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881525822758775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424248361674872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790513627061946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434549087511091,0.14092003198502578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330409086499878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222708778551388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753803257035633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422041416736924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007317153896653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14332592121768709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951874195492118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681929728781754,0.0,0.2762812875966852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091890895305427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235985103477936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054300783631447
mentalhealth,Polypana,2019/04/12,"Please Dear Lord Help me I'm Worried my Mum is Going Manic For the record, my mum is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She has been in hospital a few times before, but she has been fine now. So long as she remembers to take her meds, she's fine.

​

But her grandmother (my great-grandmother), who was 90+ years old, was in the process of dying. She passed away this morning, which we were all glad for as she was suffering and frail, she's in a better place now.

​

Since then, mum has been acting really strange. I know that grieving this sorta shit is hard, but she's starting to do stuff that's got me really worried. She's deleted her social media, isn't answering my texts, is really grumpy. What got me the most worried was that she went and threw a bunch of books outside. She claimed she just wanted to get new books and that the bin was full, but she threw out stuff when she last went manic too.

​

I don't know her nurse's number, and I'm so insanely worried. I don't know if she's been taking her medication or not, and I'm worried if I ask she'll get even more upset. Pleases for the love of fucking God help me. I don't want her to end up in hospital again...",3.5678007346189133,4.813282979338844,4.330192837465564,87.96326905417816,72.51239669421489,7.691827364554638,25.841138659320478,8.167268648758528,1.4247292929292932,939,30,198,14,18,301,128,242,0.145,0.721,0.135,-0.394,0,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,1,0,0,1,9,11,2,1,8,0,23,6,1,0,1,27,46,18,2,4,9,3,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,11,8,0,0,5,2,0,7,5,5,0,0,16,1,36,6,20,29,6,29,1,2,0,2,32,9,2,5,13,126,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018143103732633,0.3384749088503309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08680379851120261,0.0,0.08723722167580904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900995154078873,0.0,0.0,0.08211977657997688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424251346250052,0.0963653975130614,0.0,0.10641608399749554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223903978914908,0.0,0.0,0.06132766724819961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583989360395736,0.09702235412830107,0.0,0.05276975666499058,0.0,0.14852396144989716,0.102369318871862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317687862640365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447306462207465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15308658589195745,0.07568652220830394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217082606666502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380227773141002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313729854785142,0.09353831178738076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967674329553887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743223203362177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701025627750028,0.20384655123995654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844951562310793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518286734476348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531092812534332,0.07680787961045038,0.0,0.0,0.09465060750254352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572090591774786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21258594687739246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13962583457862338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414256864070725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095326679838123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17214889853793242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4714770047499143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384749088503309,0.059793445763369375
mentalhealth,h3ppyl8t,2019/04/12,"I'm worried about a person very dear to me that wants to hurt their self, what should I do? Someone I have cared about  has been depressed and they have never said anything about it. They then started to open up to me about having problems and I don't know what to do yet I want to help them but how though?",2.7060937500000013,4.029003671875,2.8613750000000024,97.34612500000004,74.78125,5.120000000000001,22.175,3.1291,-0.3290587500000002,241,6,55,0,5,73,45,64,0.127,0.7659999999999999,0.107,-0.3212,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,4,0,7,5,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,1,1,11,16,6,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,10,2,11,13,0,6,0,2,0,0,8,2,0,0,4,43,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206455072282597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27337313824101506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23093721650881746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797197394916691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28703528065334416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473554749626927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20679591457149127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341179761386754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565611324617502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550499834189514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797147245142876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271829641504539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18978152625318204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634332157205312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22123268721359127,0.3162962624186433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722957765271892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,astrogirll,2019/04/12,"Crying because dog barked at me. Today I was at a cafe with friends and I asked the owner at a nearby table if I could pet their dog (who appeared calm), they said yes. When I put my hand near the dog as a test, it just started barking and snapping at me. It was really horrible but I didn't react negatively or anything. I removed myself from the situation. Mostly I felt really, really embarrassed. 
Now I can't stop crying. No I don't blame the dog. I am a little peeved at the owner, but mostly I feel so stupid for putting myself in that situation. 
I feel like an idiot and I'm pushing away people who want to comfort me. I'm not sure why I'm reacting this way.",1.6478439079169045,3.6234892700729935,4.195912408759123,83.75014037057835,79.65693430656935,6.843121841661987,22.947220662549128,7.882392219407189,1.2852789444132515,518,17,104,9,13,182,89,137,0.14800000000000002,0.6829999999999999,0.16899999999999998,-0.2493,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,0,5,8,2,1,10,1,7,1,1,2,1,22,18,10,0,3,6,0,4,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,5,6,3,0,0,5,5,20,5,13,12,2,20,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,5,6,72,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657898982338605,0.0,0.16651975355800247,0.0,0.16735120932139602,0.0,0.0,0.10858134074016916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221569100268433,0.0,0.3913166674905024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012737638913548,0.12725018473403513,0.17102477416861714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761639077649665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870212699023965,0.1785247469983012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123487165632971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35812303084093705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423279841868888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694345350315526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4004325285825692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607546264947914,0.0,0.0,0.1489177247600454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787760305741714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883855321775876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050607991357718,0.14138472198112745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072713760856527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PolliestPocket,2019/04/12,"Surrounding yourself with the right people Something I find difficult is being social and meeting new people. I tend to stay in small circles, even if I am not fully happy within that friend's group.  Doing this has made me very unhappy.  How you execute yourself and how you find that light within yourself has a lot to do with the people you choose to have in your life. Always remember that it is your life and you get to be selfish about who you choose to be friends with or have other relationships with.  Meeting the right people or person is hard, but one should keep trying. I found that a huge factor on why I feel down and unmotivated about life is due to the type of people I choose to surround myself with. You want to be around people who are there for you and love you, and those people are hard to find, but if you find yourself in an unhappy situation with your relationships you need to end those relationships for your own wellbeing. You derve to be happy, so surround yourself with those who make you happy",9.183190148911805,7.5886431494845406,8.509450171821308,72.44683276059565,60.804123711340196,11.096449026345935,34.44215349369989,9.725611199111238,3.1027486827033237,817,25,148,12,9,258,99,194,0.127,0.815,0.058,-0.9079,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,16,0,0,8,8,0,0,7,0,19,4,0,4,0,40,29,15,0,5,7,0,3,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,13,14,0,1,10,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,4,24,6,31,21,2,19,0,0,0,1,30,15,0,5,3,115,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823918469495064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094403869754457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392572431398306,0.0,0.0,0.07004271428195971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05362029764438517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876983257559443,0.0,0.0,0.11627451558819896,0.16386252844188642,0.0,0.05540492027577657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3386654192369668,0.18999367189090216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425900333074998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22471134113948954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015694356054788,0.09571110819466076,0.10034376408803787,0.07078686340742897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863213736474288,0.0,0.10242037224349948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185985411593401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5146350428751973,0.09259571495618442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415627683716298,0.12013001399466762,0.181126266195776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920071118287932,0.0,0.10810105382100918,0.0,0.08163977803898058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303146096894345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199861363819922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749947006242006,0.06254897432411426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09569047338460142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,vlcastle,2019/04/12,"Depression relapse after over 2 years of recovery I've been on the path of recovery from chronic depression (also called dysthymia) for over 2 years now. Life was going good, I got into university and I met my current girlfriend who I love more than everything. 

But the past few weeks everything seems grey. I get no pleasure from anything, I have no motivation to do everyday stuff.
I've already lost some weight, haven't gone to the gym in almost a month, been skipping classes at uni, eating more junk food and getting less sleep.

I don't know what's going on. I have no reason to feel like this, I have a very good life and I'm screwing it up. 

I don't know if any of you can actually help me, I just wanted to get this off my chest.",3.2786734693877584,4.983319945578232,4.5194727891156505,84.4788010204082,74.03401360544217,7.621088435374148,27.215986394557824,8.344100000000001,1.8502068027210887,580,22,116,10,12,191,98,147,0.12,0.732,0.14800000000000002,0.6486,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,2,3,9,1,0,5,0,11,10,2,2,0,16,27,6,0,2,3,0,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,3,0,6,1,0,3,6,4,0,0,7,3,14,5,21,20,5,21,0,3,1,2,7,9,1,4,10,73,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.15600564898231378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008218711023497,0.0,0.17641553404192944,0.12784436772502294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871400937911173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131555669777866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324053055100668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753838097688889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358229794266155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873535730094424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083279082068613,0.11420793186127075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933099746881063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505693474954594,0.0,0.18171047437247467,0.268175162079066,0.1278590294724868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715446236877636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757157754777956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258354346063729,0.07810219909909437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451205762729646,0.0,0.14428483853679622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760310205505893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15260969116122625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643683404468506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553553014723625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998093434784155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300772873205548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319057646301058,0.0942928029068677,0.0,0.12823444624916613,0.1946730883448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20589625726349034
mentalhealth,Aweoaken,2019/04/12,"Insight/advice I had a rough childhood, I won't get into specifics but all of my life the most random things would make me upset. I can't watch Christmas movies or listen to certain music without getting flooded with memories that I suppressed as a child.

 Recently as an adult I have developed Depersonalization which gets worse the more I think about my past.  As time goes on I get flooded with more and more memories that I just want to forget but I can't. I'm not sure if I have PTSD, I'm not sure what I have, but I think I need insight and advice and I think this subreddit is my best bet.",3.762666666666668,5.1075639333333385,4.655000000000001,85.4366666666667,72.16666666666666,7.333333333333335,27.5,7.793537801064563,1.54325,472,17,96,6,9,153,75,120,0.087,0.79,0.123,0.4829,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,5,0,9,1,0,1,4,32,22,11,0,4,9,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,6,6,0,1,4,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,1,3,18,4,12,19,6,6,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,5,4,67,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39177599631300253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21037126840127496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189300294158565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159140903772896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380915730013107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863916171740074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913625400902513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343279770675301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979308809264159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778639104370573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317726475755395,0.38534160724533506,0.0,0.0,0.11689031912845163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823698835367362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932370818515072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20428670653585515,0.14240161858733413,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Javelancer,2019/04/12,"I guess the one thing that really makes me sad is. I badly want to have a career as a photographer.
But i'm stuck with my corporate job, and there are bills to pay.

Just venting out it here",0.879249999999999,2.848920425000003,3.0599999999999987,90.935,82.25,7.0,17.5,8.07648339933343,0.4415,147,3,34,3,4,50,36,40,0.24,0.7290000000000001,0.032,-0.8207,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,8,8,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,4,0,5,7,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,24,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37340977299295397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4926629246537705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4437965497204609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985226255635976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030476459994466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28650039450594084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29711289976687144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26378176885833043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MissingQuark,2019/04/12,"Is there a way to chemically control my impulses? Basically, I have very poor impulse control and I’ve been like that my whole life. It’s in all factors of my life, the way I eat, the work i do, if I’m not getting immediate dopamine that second I’m going crazy.",1.8505555555555588,3.7812896111111085,4.355333333333334,83.07300000000002,78.81481481481481,7.282962962962964,29.31851851851852,8.238735603445708,2.1620562962962957,205,10,43,4,5,72,41,54,0.113,0.838,0.049,-0.5095,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,2,1,6,8,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,6,1,3,7,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,26,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.601956110019089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745896929942538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020213080893304,0.0,0.1525098497799175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37908797856308457,0.13110256514622154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22141737748817286,0.0,0.426008486086244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996039001653424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19536245802166535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VersumXian,2019/04/12,"Feeling Less and Staying on Medication Hi, I've recently started on medication and have only been taking it for two days, but already noticed a ""dulling of the senses"".

I'm just on Lexapro, and it has made me calmer, which is great!

I just don't feel like . . . myself.

It's strange.

My mind doesn't feel as though it's constantly under attack anymore, yet that also means that I experience less excitement, vivacity, and thought.

​

The only previous pill that I've been on is Cymbalta, and I dropped it due to it also not making me feel like myself.

I'm concerned I will do the same again.

​

I don't know if the effects are worth it, but really don't want to quit this pill so quickly. 

It has made me feel focused and still. 

​

What helps you stay on your prescriptions? 

I know 2 days is nothing, but I really forsee the potential of me quitting before I've been on them long enough to get a good enough look of how they effect me.

How do I convince myself to stay on them no matter how they change me and my thinking?

Thnx for any reply.",4.974436813186814,5.896759548076923,5.578324175824179,81.53096153846154,68.90384615384616,8.442857142857143,30.722527472527474,8.634040054169528,2.329402747252747,838,33,162,13,14,271,116,208,0.086,0.7709999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.925,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,2,4,4,13,8,1,0,7,0,17,4,0,8,0,36,37,19,0,2,7,0,5,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,14,7,0,0,12,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,6,6,25,6,18,30,5,23,0,1,1,0,8,8,0,1,13,113,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074436961774695,0.1557240577304643,0.0,0.3164818576678089,0.35492408492630745,0.0662109210359427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655901634218196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076571011654283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284967073611464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029982988809336,0.0,0.0,0.10521599377803313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255835686862264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012062673426818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524076427622126,0.0,0.0,0.2461510508493699,0.1391138529676534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05086871929938292,0.0,0.0,0.08166438061491378,0.0,0.1073442546998103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526109824361916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701751689019363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513435419809306,0.0,0.0,0.08616415718497457,0.0817613151597829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842565152492264,0.06499128717870528,0.0,0.0,0.10605803899947212,0.0,0.19616815810337013,0.0,0.0,0.0983099771200492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342347180154063,0.11084966359634836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480995580914176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071173923708308,0.0,0.0,0.12474786044102455,0.0,0.09613529435036812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891480515531809,0.31133150078056404,0.07775508931148849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320567976251842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062386978499068914,0.09565972563947008,0.07729621304529823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511056992440116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574278638344829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35492408492630745,0.0
mentalhealth,glevin123,2019/04/12,"How much should I tell my therapist? I recently started going to therapy, and my therapist wants to know how I spend my days and has asked me to write down everything I do from hour to hour. I guess I'm wondering what others would include exactly if they were asked to do this and how personal they would get. I'm not in a relationship right now, so every so often, I engage in some ""DIY time"" and maybe watch some porn. I mean, who doesn't? Is that something I would need to write down though? It's not something I'm really comfortable talking about, especially because I'm female and my therapist is male, but I don't know if that's important or not. Obviously, I don't want to ask my therapist though, so any thoughts would be appreciated.",6.664041095890411,6.258470986301372,7.449417808219181,74.15919520547949,65.16438356164383,11.957534246575339,34.003424657534254,11.45678717892309,3.8522219178082175,588,23,117,17,8,197,85,146,0.0,0.906,0.094,0.8903,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,0,11,2,0,0,1,0,15,1,0,3,2,36,34,17,0,10,7,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,5,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,2,1,18,2,13,26,3,13,0,0,1,1,13,5,0,8,7,79,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278451869026063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414196204159001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420901394109007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850952023043789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256766215964017,0.0,0.10940828772379016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360193118750547,0.0,0.06918526070290705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341057086261562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23977048293647865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380562433759505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12229997378699076,0.1326059745799031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948982030801089,0.09026555340041516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629500523757532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798707088400031,0.0,0.12019941646214928,0.13069869115146793,0.0,0.10396170828775801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18743633306042826,0.0,0.0,0.08616522601035996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784662499655394,0.10640245516910724,0.0,0.13921549700271835,0.5653785876537853,0.0,0.0,0.23920961138139116,0.09664462740310152,0.0709851241178362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360585814435964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201728250431388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459104789985044,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pattyice420,2019/04/12,"Im so mad that I came so far and then relapse I for the last 8ish months have finally started to have my mental health improve I've been doing good. Then about a month or so ago I got a promotion and now (you can see a post a few days ago in r/trees) 2 times in one week I'm having suicidal thoughts again. I feel trapped in my job because I can't risk not being able to pay bills. But each day I feel lower and lower. I had to go hide in the stall today to cry thinking how if I just went home and tied a noose and hung myself I'd feel so much more at peace. 

I just... I don't know. I'm so upset that I was doing so well and then it just comes crashing down",0.7733668903803128,1.7841439597315445,2.7947818791946344,97.14080816554814,79.20134228187919,5.772035794183445,19.799217002237135,5.985473137389443,-0.30483937360179025,506,11,130,3,12,171,99,149,0.181,0.725,0.094,-0.9006,3,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,14,5,1,2,7,0,12,1,0,1,0,23,27,19,1,1,7,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,9,0,0,6,0,2,4,3,3,1,1,7,4,15,2,12,19,4,29,0,0,1,0,1,7,0,2,17,80,18,3,0.17606256025241926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121376733135209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732610257627198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20136866532753986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516623060129669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933964551763609,0.2270915721412187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670675616549537,0.0,0.0,0.1928679288865687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006041035474307,0.14767292230813647,0.14081331305482722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18714626849183488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660510319688438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901777775596397,0.0,0.1747149241518106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675937868099836,0.1435144853626097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17742965037832584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810629117173543,0.0,0.1294262398033508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930454736191247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861926453501228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029906562465908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461798633568677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19258386480628611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281377951515258,0.0,0.13977400646159965,0.10266349474078966,0.0,0.16688672066447266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412267659045687,0.0,0.15830138593038848,0.16321175724930378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dsaddffddrrh,2019/04/12,If i keep thinking about committing suicide some time in life am i suicidal? I keep thinking about certain scenarios that could happen in life and believing suicide would be the only sensible option.,9.788823529411765,10.820402,9.08705882352941,60.191764705882385,58.411764705882355,12.682352941176472,46.41176470588235,12.161744961471696,6.607988235294116,164,10,21,5,2,52,26,34,0.315,0.606,0.079,-0.9201,0,0,0,0,0,2,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,2,12,9,2,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24197994291262165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148182496938127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18992644451903085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818070359607848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034064583595133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334746006260514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7047929883501682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27524064514798363,0.0,0.0,0.12523809878121409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152571300242985,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,premepope,2019/04/12,"Issues I have very weird scenarios that go on in my head. My whole family is scared for me but I brush it underneath becuase I don’t want them to worry about me they have plenty already to worry about. It’s like my soul leaves my body, I feel like a fly on a wall. The sounds that I hear with my ear dimmer and I go into a abyss. My temper gets high or I start doing weird activities. The last time I had one of these was this afternoon I usually get them 3 times a week. I felt randomly angry and I felt like hurting someone idk why I feel like this but it happens. I get so angry that I’m scared for my safety and Others. What if I take something to far and end up hurting someone to a severe point. Anyone else get feelings like this I feel empty and angry.",0.470881944444443,2.66282476875,2.6266666666666687,92.06277777777781,85.6875,5.305555555555556,18.26388888888889,6.691623216298621,0.05772222222222245,593,15,128,7,18,200,97,160,0.265,0.619,0.116,-0.9807,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,0,3,12,1,2,7,0,7,3,3,0,0,19,25,10,0,2,4,0,6,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,12,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,1,7,0,1,4,10,27,5,16,21,1,20,1,2,0,0,4,10,0,3,13,81,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832965892853627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764941939893132,0.12843850366050338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392384272745123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471597284370647,0.0,0.11102515503151797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181712305388782,0.0,0.25352806815321954,0.2686556659610525,0.2407162168822075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26196614007739794,0.0,0.1424814888337032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108488483176816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12864788322245174,0.0,0.14128143717295408,0.0,0.0,0.13244185419841567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.268385000411688,0.0,0.0,0.13083549734207287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217906098512243,0.0,0.1327302537675471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30620462709305857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849421338194151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849867977186558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509995462474367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161270429930592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124216221374029,0.09650251919502244,0.0,0.0,0.08872518194567386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424951926871923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618816300752244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805812705932605,0.10342898391053024,0.07393618332058333,0.0,0.10055025657956433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311118141660235,0.13995164842645896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546032039302174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OneStepForwardz,2019/04/12,"Afraid to be diagnosed Recently, my therapist suggested I might benefit from getting a formal mental diagnosis from a psychiatrist. My therapist thinks I have a anxiety disorder with hints of bipolar, but I guess a psychiatrist would be best to determine that?

If you don’t mind sharing, what was your mental heath diagnosis experience like and has treatment been beneficial for you? 

Do you think having a diagnosis helped improve your life? Im worried that being officially diagnosed with a disorder may make my life worse or that a psychiatrist might misdiagnosis me or medication could make things worse. Overall I’m pretty nervous of going to see a psychiatrist.",8.473915929203539,10.619196955752217,9.44618362831858,52.4963550884956,61.743362831858406,13.79159292035398,41.55862831858407,12.815532586354998,6.8129831858407055,548,31,75,23,8,187,74,113,0.154,0.64,0.206,0.8686,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,5,0,1,0,6,0,2,8,0,15,6,0,2,0,18,24,5,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,1,12,4,10,14,1,2,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,7,2,56,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217602822323017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388528380635244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707679887980126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976646136775759,0.0,0.0,0.3361147890521734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434380040543833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07661118241286406,0.0,0.0833365359986619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615359268868107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09828692310062544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839188695664952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20714648278633668,0.07163887221442727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19576114460404834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772019770738712,0.2955489067766439,0.3111149403754784,0.14806041303736825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918138175232812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478521718709314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116849791956243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405110607677637,0.0974183468090252,0.18791667082672456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891582930095185,0.2988689287471595,0.10416590467571216,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gorgeousmountaingirl,2019/04/12,"Goodbye, seasonal depression! I have SAD- AKA Seasonal Affective Disorder. It's not really depression, as it's much easier to cope with. My main symptoms are low energy and easily finding something to feel sad about, never really that happy, and a few others. But it sucks. I'm a very optimistic person, generally. I'm very active and do a lot of sports (lacrosse, basketball, volleyball, and tennis) but during the winter there's just not much to do outside. I live in Washington, so we don't get a lot of snow. In fall and winter the sky just gets super grey and cold and rainy. But, alas, winter is over! It is now April, and though it does rain, the sky is blue when it rains and there's plants and animals! It's also my birthday on Monday, so that's also a plus. I always randomly get super inspired somewhere in April, and my autistic ass gets a new obsession to obsess over. This year it's opera and singing! A lot of things get put on pause in September, such as glamping and swimming outdoors, which I love. We're going to be hitching up the RV and heading down to Oregon to meet up with some cousins in May, and are heading to Lincoln Rock in June (deluxe cabin, yes!) Oh, and I've got Carrie Underwood tickets!! Everythings coming up Milhouse!!!",4.1967894736842135,5.964258766666667,5.3154824561403515,79.4514473684211,71.75,8.719298245614036,28.464912280701753,9.276330184999452,2.6390833333333337,984,38,178,22,19,325,144,240,0.12,0.755,0.125,0.7463,0,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,1,0,0,2,13,13,1,2,11,1,11,5,3,1,1,40,24,28,0,0,7,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,14,21,0,0,3,6,0,5,4,8,0,0,1,4,8,5,31,21,8,36,0,5,2,2,5,17,2,6,14,117,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23713278851103425,0.12336724115012784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771601376469247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553985438832405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992299777288675,0.0,0.1297465268150096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332498162979317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496656063748776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551029798264716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38730821143661737,0.0,0.08426165394764952,0.0,0.11857999196467872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578294215835188,0.0,0.0,0.3043225756811068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091952690331968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3781453818746256,0.13381374053054193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21798169708462514,0.0,0.11435007371483,0.14319396541265525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294581079365048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904592763966618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18996299247716306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414060793508406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410271047742158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984997867814663,0.0,0.14566829184704924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24466609162395564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547693515504066
mentalhealth,ltg_inrage,2019/04/12,"I dont know what to do This is my first post on this sub, I am looking for advice and what to do because I am stuck and dont know what to do

 10ish years ago I was diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, and other things i dont remember. My parents havent been keeping up with taking me to physicatry so i havent been to a physicartrist in a year or so. I havent been to couseling in 2-3 years because they said they didnt want to see me anymore. I'm pretty sure if i tell my parents now that I want to go to see a doctor about it they would take me to a mental hospital. They have aldready thereatened to call cops on me. I need to see someone because everyday I just have a bad moment and its not fun to have one every day. The only things that help me are being around my dog and going to the local state park. Which I cant do that often. I'm looking for advice on what to do anything helps.... Also you can chat with on redditt if thats better.",2.1089705882352945,2.920189995098042,4.1747843137254925,89.35452941176472,75.51960784313725,6.812549019607843,23.894117647058824,7.03164865440522,0.7371552941176471,725,21,166,7,15,250,108,204,0.057,0.884,0.059,0.3515,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,4,2,8,4,0,0,7,0,27,2,0,0,1,24,46,11,0,6,5,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,16,9,0,1,3,1,0,2,9,1,0,2,7,6,26,3,29,37,0,22,0,0,5,0,13,9,0,4,9,122,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507884913068853,0.2359272813653628,0.10700868646991148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653765669228652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971921751898795,0.0,0.0,0.09934012980732712,0.1074640745949725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079398195986997,0.22076460951420232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067647253568861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326595670209813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785273269084214,0.0,0.0,0.12252561424064876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355936840827075,0.0,0.0,0.4244396615619031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170961128537433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268215401302312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721295434846922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618286497134242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729916677706153,0.0,0.0,0.13268624586559807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20274441569629986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165474052681638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951041834731466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180123064006055,0.09181101817970194,0.0,0.0,0.26808476109425416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156138944707934,0.12281298879732913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367492754120766,0.0,0.11482988608503243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885884020229291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228345653724208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377471559574096,0.0,0.1815289142560516,0.0,0.1055123235451673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16039854564659067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240449380070638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575417343459647,0.0,0.0,0.2332141323661816
mentalhealth,CodeineCockSyrup,2019/04/12,"I feel like I’m losing my mind please help I have been diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety but lately it’s been so much worse. Sometimes I struggle just to feel and express emotions I feel hollow, I full on believe my friends hate me even though they’ve given me no real reason to think that. I’m anxious or scared almost always now even just sitting at home. I get overwhelming feelings of guilt just for existing. I don’t feel like me and sometimes I don’t even recognize myself when I look in the mirror. My thoughts have been very jumbled and I fee l like they aren’t mine, like specific words or topics will pop into my mind with not reason and i don’t feel like I am the one who thought them, like they aren’t meant to be in my brain. sometimes my thoughts get so loud it sounds like someone’s talking to me especially when I’m alone, it’s never a full sentence though, it will usually me very quiet whispering that I can make out but there will occasionally be a word or a few words that are loud enough to understand and they sound like they are coming from outside my head. And they usually have to do with whatever I’m doing or looking at. I don’t know it it’s related because I’ve always had a very slight speech problem but that’s also gotten worse to the point that the wrong words come out of my mouth or I’ll combine some words or they just come out way wrong, it’s making me not want to talk because I have to say a sentence a couple sometimes before it comes out right. I keep seeing things move out of the corner of my eyes but when I turn to look there’s nothing. A bit ago I saw a black spot about the size of a quarter on a white wall, I thought it was a spider at first but when I focused on it more I saw it looked more like a spider made out of black smoke, I also watched it slowly fade out of existence but I didn’t really think anything of it at the time. Another time I was laying in bed and I had a really vivid dream but I was lucid and I didn’t feel asleep, I don’t know how else to describe it but I felt fully awake while dreaming, I was at my old house but things were different and I recognized what was different. In the dream a very panicked voice kept telling me a code, 707 is all I remember from the code but there were words in it as well, it told me it was very important that I remembered it so when I ‘woke up’ I wrote it down.  Sorry this is so long I just don’t know what’s going on and I haven’t talked to any family or doctors about it, I’ve only told a few friends but I’ve only told them about the loud thoughts. I’m to scared to tell anyone about everything because I feel like they won’t believe me or won’t understand. I don’t know what to do at this point and I’m scared. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.",2.7199850333009046,4.121153521514632,3.9183136271795256,89.46639957344908,74.88640275387263,7.117578388086507,24.50651051410611,7.7425588080867325,1.074726079473172,2200,69,480,30,46,718,238,581,0.116,0.777,0.107,-0.606,4,1,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,9,2,31,26,1,6,26,0,47,7,5,6,2,104,105,47,0,3,26,0,9,10,2,6,2,10,2,0,34,27,0,2,27,3,1,6,18,12,1,3,33,32,69,14,59,63,11,58,0,3,13,0,24,32,0,10,28,311,103,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05867552090275435,0.05322648897071034,0.0,0.060126641836140235,0.062188767693172775,0.0,0.09603632543672057,0.0999249120605923,0.0,0.0,0.0816656546553482,0.062962677427441,0.04593444997338283,0.06783403845553905,0.0,0.041985033161618106,0.0,0.04941212249180693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980907663729576,0.0,0.051094083066537684,0.1353008639143588,0.0,0.0,0.06555385866862334,0.0,0.0,0.06703035434658006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689465574797064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643892426101815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051716883671897036,0.06094466225265866,0.0,0.1254690072804271,0.0,0.06145885513378359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05016009943412953,0.067542821548951,0.0,0.06204279175628434,0.0,0.11897795898680585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05396479669776219,0.0,0.05660531543674448,0.0,0.2428854502815721,0.17158534719769308,0.05765285393585825,0.0,0.0,0.05107445683486368,0.0,0.0,0.09278161851329288,0.0,0.0627423270672843,0.0,0.034125097887828595,0.0,0.0,0.0662000973282914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059282250683424825,0.06162374697181925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04024706368832248,0.0,0.06023027901562144,0.0,0.0,0.06928415376607126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053370974875310964,0.0,0.0,0.13199719079097408,0.0,0.06773365454764957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29335074917563503,0.0,0.0,0.0531381545086604,0.20169154041464687,0.06717527295393863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681626500170834,0.08016133790770691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125716596364533,0.0,0.0,0.06381859546997931,0.044140165794688484,0.0,0.0463105965309365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05761503438916519,0.0,0.06300738653553094,0.0,0.04068821367766217,0.09133423290651543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591165048686724,0.11352433442109945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05745519255337477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834463721321278,0.07693304616801752,0.12347302986862645,0.0,0.0,0.13603912055345402,0.05127831326877625,0.0,0.0477503908382008,0.18034730312563052,0.0,0.04784828815950815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087614333810585,0.0,0.23754514045453864,0.06721573858033918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277232989012803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478628635972282,0.1049643858030157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978278869142816,0.0769491401324841,0.11798830157123932,0.2383460969111434,0.07002573335678819,0.0,0.0,0.17212742145751173,0.0,0.0,0.06531198683457795,0.0,0.12501844047826546,0.0,0.0,0.13226271394759204,0.24771808810230544,0.03541624268415878,0.04766112257574675,0.0,0.0,0.05398788863149381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238247398825225,0.0426544210295707,0.13130010412346868,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gonjumix,2019/04/12,"My Unbearable Loop I am a woman, end of my 20’s. 
I have been feeling like that I am in a loop, which stars feeling down slowly and going deep down. Followed by crying all night without a reason, and forcing myself to feel good. I feel good after all for a while, annnndd back to the loop. 
I literally tried so many things but taking medication. 
I really dont know what to do or what is wrong. I really dont know what is the problem, or what is my problem... 
I am really tired of gettig into this loop, and really scared that people around me gets tired of me as well.",2.8393582375478914,4.155825905172414,4.695287356321838,84.35622605363986,74.43103448275863,7.569348659003833,22.371647509578548,8.167268648758528,1.1123498084291183,439,11,91,7,9,150,70,116,0.185,0.727,0.08800000000000001,-0.9503,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,1,6,0,11,3,0,1,2,20,21,9,0,2,4,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,7,0,0,2,3,4,1,0,1,4,14,4,16,20,2,13,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,6,68,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13465850825643702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631395605037145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661582254536924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545644556794469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397647740419222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059378524138587,0.10806421826933807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903006448579036,0.0,0.08596776092690545,0.2537489189851515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626330242687598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390076112237133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15335963792365906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238423925837002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195257560386426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486856304621194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894816169420888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876186226390073,0.15552629251874886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144331492595453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373295164575005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049418358962164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477152499258388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269945431547034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360059952963839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581469904236508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538525395688444,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EmilStoker,2019/04/12,"Is this hypomania, or am I a narcissist? I've been depressed for a very long time and recently started taking an antidepressant/social anxiety med called Sertraline.

Three weeks into the treatment, I'm starting to feel like I should go to the library and read a book every day. I don't go in with a plan but just look around until I find one. I feel like this might be compulsive behavior. While it's a good thing to learn from books, I just feel super bored and depressed for the rest of the night if I don't do it.

I'm also getting angry and irritated at my job. I feel I'm being exploited as a slave laborer. The managers don't listen to simple suggestions and talk to me in a verbally abusive way. I get ideas that I should just stop coming in and live off my savings. 

As unrealistic as it is, I feel I could make a living as a novelist. I've sold only four short stories and made $500 total, which is next to nothing considering how long they took to write and polish.

I just don't know if these ideas are me coming out of depression or experiencing another mental health problem. I've been depressed for so long that I don't think I've ever been ambitious in the slightest way before. When I was in high school, I didn't want to be anything when I grew up.",5.520169270833335,5.456702449218753,6.7378750000000025,77.15295833333336,67.4765625,9.951666666666668,31.129166666666666,9.725611199111238,2.7594841666666667,1001,36,200,20,15,340,150,256,0.177,0.753,0.07,-0.9812,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,3,11,11,0,0,16,0,23,1,0,3,2,48,49,24,0,7,9,0,5,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,10,14,0,1,11,3,1,6,6,6,0,3,8,8,22,5,31,34,2,38,0,4,1,0,6,13,0,5,19,131,32,9,0.0,0.1321956503139234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922481345530707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169939212597581,0.0853529685024811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918149958718955,0.09932354210178126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494032616409658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392841269383587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19222036016128344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908188750695671,0.0,0.0,0.07195529484901307,0.0,0.3843903254008051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092408209349148,0.09400498628712237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820730709686132,0.15941541417539948,0.0,0.0,0.10197561572732196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165844778602864,0.0,0.12681890854692715,0.09358206089030546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859678280661605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788290207282914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519044627102888,0.0,0.0,0.11071889426216754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061317551829435185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901777323588692,0.0,0.19704184206583816,0.2962155352259016,0.09369314156479304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557298236790656,0.07447578183169627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393234741780312,0.0,0.1124392480755779,0.11836122265657285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186590524115207,0.10470361510760846,0.0,0.1070572134495426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560468934457913,0.08485622347699112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067602037937504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160310026019957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016478545311607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291773852478852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794375574093916,0.0,0.0,0.09327994619535976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388894067973987,0.08967807637777718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412408175307987,0.07149141371918807,0.0,0.0,0.06505905934465807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396160502887316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920593331738715,0.0658085913306651,0.17712276064513047,0.08949705605909902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,danielleknxght,2019/04/12,"Feeling like i have to move FAST I get this really odd feeling a few times a year that I haven’t found any research on or many people who struggle from it to. I’ve seen a few posts stating that it could be a form of bipolar but when I’ve read into them I can’t really relate to the symptoms.

It’ll just happen when I’m doing something really mundane, happened most recently when I was cooking, and it starts off feeling like a pounding headache. There is no pain but it feels almost dizzy or like someone is shouting at me? I don’t hear any voices either or any feeling of panic. My teeth will start to grind and I will feel like all of a sudden I have to move really fast. It’s like no matter what I’m doing I have to do it fast or even sometimes that I am doing it fast, when I’m reality I’m still doing it at the same speed. I never actually move faster and I’m aware of how fast I’m doing it as well.

I’ve not come across anyone who feels the same way and im really struggling to pin point exactly how I’m feeling. It’s not a panic attack, or even that I’m hearing voices it’s just more of a weird sensation that kind of takes over me. Would love to know if anyone else feels the same way.",1.934611821382248,3.310506937743196,3.8754641467481936,89.07481193255516,76.89883268482491,6.45165832870113,22.354826755604964,7.07126945348624,0.6151783954048544,941,26,206,10,21,320,127,257,0.118,0.742,0.14,0.4421,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,13,15,1,4,12,0,22,6,1,2,3,43,52,19,0,3,13,0,9,5,0,4,3,5,0,0,21,6,1,0,11,2,0,4,8,7,1,0,3,15,15,8,23,43,10,35,0,0,1,1,6,8,0,8,24,132,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.094317187541055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678176246919104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971774678257734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516089981484578,0.099030112490612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995417825833403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325606094597142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716775735139003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073929759947097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276738144033954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4398256977828574,0.20714194001891603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059725559984186,0.0,0.0,0.050496026466426806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17093587367493587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21786483363361447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439939267256702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006468805237826,0.053116723201286214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23609336610090376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723107313343913,0.0,0.0,0.0979886880500661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30817334675327457,0.0,0.0,0.07454301481659728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028432097450842,0.22679765529440804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700545886597105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136619668830286,0.0,0.09256469938938937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667690258437077,0.0,0.30958471872401305,0.0,0.09543095314241198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189186472971262,0.07440646736878266,0.09559006064996628,0.0,0.13681979310589024,0.0,0.0771854118179054,0.0,0.0,0.20208069286891225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045713358299704,0.0726693338006986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056357828123322976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534337293179196,0.0,0.0,0.08690062930815079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686579179924109,0.0,0.0,0.06223991258330491
mentalhealth,Ptscholar,2019/04/12,"What can I do to do things despite having a disease? Practical advice that works, please. I'm generally a positive 20-year-old guy and I like the idea of facing challenges, but recently I developed what seems to be a chronic, progressive illness that may hinder me invalid one day. Currently I'm physically able to do anything that I want (albeit with more difficulty) but I can't stop thinking if I'll still be able to in the future and if I will not, what's the point of studying and finishing my degree now. 

I sometimes am able to overcome these negative thoughts and act because I know it's not pointless, but they soon after come back and take my motivation away. Appreciate any help.",5.827837606837607,7.162827407692308,6.563333333333333,73.7338888888889,67.23076923076923,9.777777777777779,35.982905982905976,9.994966539143718,3.8538803418803433,553,28,96,13,9,182,91,130,0.066,0.774,0.16,0.8037,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,4,4,2,0,0,6,0,11,3,1,1,0,24,20,10,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,9,7,0,1,6,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,1,0,12,2,11,15,1,16,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,4,12,68,21,3,0.5623425173535219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18317153321671484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747073178232898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425332569806854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761131020791109,0.14413556150427062,0.0,0.1142662597013889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16146942849688964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208881340857618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18560250118154026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564211190351335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21160541784188688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301624700338613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915773829870689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19669462525640108,0.0,0.1270192810991616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057610719218509,0.1771984813546302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850817981266064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064516923024906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539037624118984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496958202553218,0.1567145081795459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093719622002224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453179370264494,0.12010879290816245,0.0,0.14881238150332102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056139550911256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364640167001404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071004801733785
mentalhealth,Lordani66,2019/04/12,"Could traumatic experiences have slowed down/stopped my mental maturation/growth? Today I was having an argument with a person on the internet over some topic and at one point he implied that my beliefs on this particular topic are due to me being immature mentally/psychologically and being on the mental level of a middle schooler, since that mindset I have is similar to one of a pupil from aroudn that age group. Now, what the topic was and whether he is right or not (about my beliefs on it being due to my immaturity) is not important, but what he implied then, that I am mentally a 12-13 year old hit me pretty hard and I realized there may be some truth to what he was saying.

​

So my question is, could some traumatic, long lasting experiences during a certain age withold one's psychological growth process or is this impossible? If needed, I may give some more info regarding that period of my life.",13.221262327416177,8.825269124260355,12.850621301775153,53.09790433925049,55.98224852071006,16.000394477317553,47.69329388560158,13.5591,6.335117554240631,738,33,120,20,6,250,103,169,0.071,0.8490000000000001,0.08,0.5594,1,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,9,0,21,1,0,0,2,28,24,11,0,4,7,0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,11,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,2,13,2,16,12,5,24,2,0,0,0,9,10,0,10,13,93,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788261664509994,0.19948955495366147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26215939033756874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32118763114407656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749079882288616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706778611131685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13382383955084892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596105325187273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14528895135440145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4963467695361674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217330476782837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17227314727004242,0.0,0.33374594690230874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14335053021997712,0.0,0.0,0.15519763203819747,0.0,0.0,0.1670241263175406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391261451746332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020382211107407,0.0,0.13055786893228158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580654860770047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725693577938064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561789231896125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19948955495366147,0.10572276620145213
mentalhealth,LA-NY,2019/04/12,"These may help someone This site is put together by artists sharing their own stories. Naturally, a portion of them are about mental health.  [https://www.fortherecord.live/mental-health](https://www.fortherecord.live/mental-health)",20.79346666666666,28.15791848000001,8.899999999999997,46.09666666666669,44.2,8.133333333333335,40.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,4.767133333333334,202,8,17,3,3,45,25,25,0.0,0.8,0.2,0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6428605682495582,0.0,0.0,0.1351253823210148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35602548276522605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.609483303010701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20265941069772367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17081142546990222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,navywife17,2019/04/12,Bad day I having a rough day mentally. My mind is overwhelmed.  Having bipolar sucks...I had 2 manic days over the weekend now here we are down in depression.  Will this cycle ever end???,0.7303809523809548,3.1504820857142875,2.5307142857142857,87.30845238095242,99.57142857142858,4.61904761904762,20.11904761904762,6.42735559955562,0.7231904761904766,143,5,25,2,6,47,32,35,0.21,0.758,0.032,-0.8196,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,6,1,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,3,4,0,10,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,7,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811440547762256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6514624936485011,0.0,0.2900132650018156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982307085751546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045791803914473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393308446537625,0.0,0.33998748676627155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I-like-trainsss,2019/04/12,"What should I do in I think I have Dissociation I’m 17 and about 6 months ago I was in a horrible car accident (a single vehicle roll over) and quite frankly I should have died, yet I walked out of that car, I was felling fine until December when things just started feeling different. I had several times during the day where I felt so disconnected from everything like I was just looking through a tv screen and all I had were my thought, it felt like my body was just on auto pilot and I wasn’t in control of anything. It’s been like this for the past four months now where several times a day I get that sort of feeling where nothing seems real and I’m just watching everything through a screen... I haven’t told anyone about this and I have no idea what to do. I feel to scared to tell my parents but I’m also so worried that I messed up my head really bad. Any advice on what to do?",2.3728846153846166,4.212927978021977,3.6286675824175854,89.3069574175824,76.91208791208791,7.187362637362638,25.660714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.4425593406593409,700,26,151,12,16,228,103,182,0.132,0.815,0.053,-0.9476,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,15,7,0,1,7,0,18,2,2,1,1,27,33,12,1,2,5,1,5,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,11,7,0,1,9,1,0,4,3,3,0,1,13,9,21,4,22,18,2,28,0,0,4,0,3,11,0,2,16,103,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232314528375964,0.12910599183734275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647269327443835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904396802432867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183875460275532,0.0,0.11985387739182808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160795017162693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177937199953135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16335386820000128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878586608784304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151157085861767,0.1521686000996633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617936571318492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220928297882266,0.0,0.2796851354872711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609378828896847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947435247717025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16441609729122114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213465175860401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230557976857935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23250577606191625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975083277893904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617221466748997,0.0,0.13903515708693354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491196970453708,0.0,0.16577652114214672,0.0933042684447558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581660307043232,0.0,0.0,0.1325902381544965,0.0,0.3290760290408816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308866953385047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12730062980627022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676043136364046,0.09332378717767653,0.0,0.11562629749711975,0.16985418226891516,0.0,0.0,0.13917056400185218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791012526912878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SpicyPlaces,2019/04/12,"Having an Anxiety Attack while Trying to Find Psychiatrist I've been trying to find a psychiatrist so I can get some help. I went through my insurance's website three days ago and found some providers I liked. I called one to make sure my insurance was covered. They had me fill out the online new patient forms and then they called me this morning and said my insurance actually isn't one they accept and it would $250 for an appointment. I called my insurance this morning and they gave me three people to call. One was a hospital who said they don't have any psychological center, the other was also a hospital and the doctor only helps hospitalized patients, and the third was someone who doesn't accept my insurance. I started having an anxiety attack on the phone. I really want help but I don't think I can handle calling anymore and I certainly can't afford the out of pocket price.

I don't know what to do.",5.653219696969696,6.837165761363636,6.489090909090908,74.66196969696973,67.52272727272728,9.730303030303027,30.57575757575757,9.928628108626363,3.075789393939394,738,28,131,17,12,244,99,176,0.061,0.857,0.08199999999999999,0.5365,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,5,0,2,7,2,0,12,0,19,1,0,1,2,25,30,13,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,10,0,0,7,0,1,2,6,2,0,6,11,2,24,5,11,18,3,12,0,0,0,0,19,4,0,2,7,95,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.1210906460807868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999530591469957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923202901048638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438315996648156,0.0,0.18985185664326107,0.0,0.12306058871746126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823328988428134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6335315881168113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002560755693756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270079184694626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22682585407218764,0.0,0.0,0.13605457931085094,0.0,0.0,0.0648301399643679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24951794688175996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819476383706129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060622457013154475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08282878559340894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984363545148455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522529250272311,0.09437346970758224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860260416638083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949306925784116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360695914461997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513819450526822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782915169422423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695017535637466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950969876486967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16849334594009507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318950627265647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502954434776455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814757802912447,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Nido25,2019/04/12,How do I let go of this !? Well recently we moved to a different shelter due to having a cooking facility but the previous shelter I had built strong bonds with the case worker and them two I felt so comfortable and discussing my problems and helping me with my future and they wanted to help me I didn’t come to them that’s what makes it so strong for me I don’t speak to my dad for reasons that is way too long and my mom agrees with him everything he does I don’t also speak to my older brother and I won’t talk about my problems too my little brother cause he’s my little brother but what I’m trying to say is the old shelter I was in before I got there I was entitled angry at the world and hated myself because I felt like the world was against me and I was really depressed full of defeat and sadness and the two case workers decided to step into my life to help me get back on my feet mentally and we been there for 5 months and since being with them I’ve been developing good values and habits eliminating or replacing my bad habits overall I was becoming and growing as a man I’m 19 btw and took a year off before going to college to focus on my mental health but before you know it I’m over here feeling so confident and I knew I had two people who had my BACK! And I never ever had this feeling but it was this feeling of being wanted and appreciated and I think being in Queens and in that shelter changed who I am as a person and how I think and I think the break of not going to college helped because I learnt all these strong values I always thought was weird like reading meditating and I felt so comfortable and I had two people who were helping me throughout the journey and boom they said we needed to go to a cooking felicity and relocated our area and I was in defeat mentally and physically because I had to go to a new environment and they don’t know my situation like the other shelter did and I immediately was deciding to hurt myself because I was scared because I had relyed on them so much when this change happened I didn’t really have them anymore even tho they said you can always call our office to talk with us it isn’t the same feeling because now I’m in a different environment and I am just scared plain and simple I never speak to my mom or dad or brothers and don’t got much friends but those two I relyed on so much and moving on from them I felt so guilty and scared and mentally couldn’t take it I went back to my old ways and was just SCARED because I didn’t have anyone I could too like them two and now I just keep thinking about “ what if we could go back” or “what if we can do this to go to that areA” and I just keep having these redundant thoughts on going back because I felt loved and now I’m in a totally different area and I just can’t accept the change because it’s mentally killing me ... I’ve been trying to explain on different support groups but I just don’t know it’s so freaking difficult to move on because of that area and just felt appreciated and loved and I never had that feeling and my heart is always in that place because of how it built me as a man and how I learnt so many things .. now I’m back to being alone and a different environment It’s just crazy ... I need help on how I can deal with this .. any advice or help because it’s mentally fucking me up wherever I go it’s just that thought keeps on coming up like that place meant sooo much to me........,3.1477002317795524,4.564145039660058,4.625813546227146,84.7607651300541,73.81586402266288,7.457491630182848,26.57574040690188,8.061468544071445,1.5831946742209628,2722,97,560,41,55,910,245,706,0.112,0.727,0.162,0.9873,5,1,0,0,0,2,21.0,8,2,11,8,48,35,3,4,22,0,57,9,2,8,6,138,120,80,1,11,23,8,11,5,1,1,2,7,0,3,38,61,2,3,28,3,0,19,16,18,1,6,44,18,98,17,71,67,8,81,0,5,0,3,61,34,1,7,30,410,136,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04637763136307865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049154531542688236,0.0,0.03795396470319025,0.1184722520797423,0.0,0.0,0.032274614424875385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047067839760111765,0.03318532772743996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21896413117359068,0.039627347137633225,0.3471761169394573,0.05241614488000545,0.12115559501661802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04846224706581491,0.0,0.0,0.0487547758728726,0.1506200335589189,0.08176564883994085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578633528499683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892945946444713,0.04087746524070264,0.0,0.0,0.2479294294117603,0.0,0.0,0.041532806407910634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031347063973331514,0.042930535813302015,0.0,0.0,0.04265423483807222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998670509550324,0.0,0.2734158401045713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03666769066959659,0.04387625939491797,0.024796034792863925,0.0,0.2427549116137044,0.0398074268618288,0.07591663485747907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041968964368021784,0.0,0.0,0.046857195748226124,0.0,0.0504480528929197,0.0,0.05624065428746326,0.22268135299452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05080720589405049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655461903905035,0.052507762369527054,0.0,0.07824877770081785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853134663334603,0.03352259574006339,0.11593346506372393,0.09513532745431803,0.0,0.042000849812673456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566950216859988,0.0,0.031680102041329275,0.048117269579854544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869727660356283,0.0,0.0,0.11116980074906513,0.03788233864030728,0.15132828388800232,0.13955505164915474,0.07038238496611902,0.10981286954447238,0.04583742925731142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960314969299873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580595764132406,0.04144048142828012,0.0991717717647041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082614688845593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0474731183401569,0.0,0.06080853480163205,0.04879706711100326,0.04686129582906287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029117947692857,0.03774231552894572,0.19006405881021654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039259629851246536,0.05334733751285725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385735754467574,0.0,0.0,0.0356842202325444,0.07629354242801628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03153049777931979,0.12164251121638378,0.0,0.11303447075683035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052730111721369134,0.0644448225870399,0.0,0.27817075407005704,0.0,0.05708886709411084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05598659959724852,0.0753435142683063,0.0,0.0,0.04267248689912917,0.043996150331036286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03056286099949925
mentalhealth,Lavy92,2019/04/12,"Living with BPD and Manic Depression I've recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and awhile ago was diagnosed with manic depression as well. After really educating myself with the traits of someone with BPD it truly terrified me because I knew that this was unmistakably what I have. After a few days of rest I'm much less scared now though and kinda happy that I know and would like to turn to you guys for some help. I'm going to do a new style of therapy and am doing all the things such as exercise, socialize, breathing techniques, meditation and so forth. But I would love to know if there's any apps for your smartphone or any other tips or exercises I should know about to curb things like my impulsivity and sometimes reckless behaviour. Despite knowing that buying this thing or having sex with this person is wrong I cannot come up with the strength on my own to stop my behaviour. Help?",6.965860962566843,8.086894623529414,7.23491978609626,70.71804812834229,64.52941176470588,10.88770053475936,32.51336898395722,10.832165505486646,3.774352941176472,746,29,126,20,11,242,115,170,0.129,0.733,0.13699999999999998,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,1,7,10,0,1,5,0,13,7,1,0,1,33,24,16,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,3,4,0,0,3,12,15,0,2,5,2,1,2,1,4,1,0,4,0,13,6,25,17,7,12,0,2,0,2,9,2,0,6,10,93,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254770845878885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18802553073352155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427414601328301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482347534332481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908763119917573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915793944634551,0.0,0.2381440408781543,0.2806357829075681,0.0,0.0,0.15844314815774602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856901005412004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688635933196236,0.0,0.14716660343429386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532822745129596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039079519848243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350810950762708,0.0,0.12207471778251862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477340085984436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162752181731777,0.0,0.0,0.1335199059252511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414240620144944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885646291438912,0.0,0.13650232816304395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384094596015309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092550359303874,0.11713631505426987,0.0,0.13672991202859508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155807618034981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809760160716274,0.0,0.2755356811333129,0.0,0.13582706902249886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037314082227912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12430074130868544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964135397202962,0.15115149610549936,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Miloshy,2019/04/12,"Struggling with my “particulars” Please Help My parents always said that I’m very “particular” about stuff and call me “OCD boy” (all in good fun it doesn’t hurt me or anything). But the last few years my “particulars” have made a lot of stuff really difficult. I talked to a counsellor in the summer and he said he could only deliver preliminary diagnoses and said Tourette’s and/or OCD, but I haven’t gone to anyone for a proper diagnosis so I don’t say I have either of them because I don’t agree with self diagnosing per se. I guess I’ll just say what my particulars are:
I can’t stand small metal things, like spare change, jewellery, piercings, pins, etc.
I absolutely hate like nail polish and stuff like that like I can’t stand every part of it.
I have specific sets of cutlery and glasses that I have to use and I’ll search around the house for them until I find them before I’ll eat.
I’ve had some really small physical tics that usually manifest when I get angry or frustrated, or when one of the above mentioned things happens. 
Then there’s like the more typical things with unreasonable cleanliness and order and stuff like that. 
I’ve mostly grown out of this one but everything used to have to be in sets of 5. So if I was running and I’d accidentally hit my knee against the back of my other leg, I’d have to do it 4 more times, and stuff like that.
I’m kinda skipping over some just because it’s late and I don’t wanna just like list symptoms or whatever haha. But yeah so it’s been kinda difficult especially in terms of my dating life. I’m a 20 year old male who is quite normal with a normal life, and I’ve managed to hide a lot of this stuff from a lot of people, but I’ve been more vocal about it this last year because it’s been hard. Like I don’t want to tell a girl what she can and can’t wear and what she can and  can’t do, but it also drives me insane when I see those things and makes it really hard for me. For example, in high school I had this crush on my best friend for about a year, and then one day she came into school with nail polish on and I legit didn’t have those feelings for her anymore, straight away, just because of that. I know they’re all really stupid tendencies and stuff but like I can’t stop how I feel about those things. Help?!",5.754694789081881,5.318211851612904,6.280913978494624,81.88598635235734,67.04301075268816,9.820512820512821,28.42224979321753,9.367010060515213,2.057587262200165,1801,49,386,31,26,587,216,465,0.097,0.769,0.135,0.9535,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,0,3,2,19,22,3,1,15,2,33,9,3,5,2,71,55,42,0,6,17,1,4,10,1,0,5,5,0,4,40,28,1,1,4,0,0,5,12,7,0,3,13,10,41,15,51,39,17,48,0,1,1,0,27,16,0,14,32,246,81,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055371989970732005,0.057614045552910886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866845062228402,0.04841490601757357,0.0,0.056979430202204626,0.061639155792376575,0.0,0.0,0.06505418383816465,0.053242042783982535,0.0,0.1688346449493452,0.0,0.05891897763181811,0.0,0.07266414098638363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07070278637482846,0.07919323980468265,0.0,0.0,0.07324778015364791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055283291615732616,0.0,0.0,0.04465470658245047,0.0,0.0,0.14055628270564954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085081276754167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772220003018927,0.0,0.0,0.05833851544555661,0.0,0.06222933182694496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002064404208004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328500506353969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349541255794398,0.0,0.036175556377354534,0.0,0.0,0.058076052348980424,0.0,0.0,0.07627675028653276,0.0,0.06122957357002477,0.0,0.12405264288115785,0.06836113679605425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282154421327284,0.07315690129816943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989479918186583,0.07412390555787722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03805303405459095,0.11288128702924267,0.07810684599266049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781390954161204,0.3382764733530533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17659862580889846,0.0,0.06551749333479029,0.046218894553506334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356829263351377,0.0,0.0,0.07265676522840916,0.0,0.14075844839592674,0.05266088852823117,0.0,0.0,0.07688391872786783,0.07498123829842003,0.0,0.048002980123754084,0.0,0.0,0.07600580786731596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736463096342642,0.0,0.0,0.1774301897312907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975920957220237,0.11012641937590884,0.0,0.1401511450229977,0.0551760996693014,0.0,0.0722334473164811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05788856311576479,0.0,0.07238571041341878,0.5548505272597999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196789438185472,0.0,0.05565328021976896,0.06051967202554288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300031657380355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04037497465144201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960395771102415,0.07625916169640934,0.05713106338708394,0.040840126395723465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835569442882465
mentalhealth,BigD_Dog420,2019/04/12,I sometimes feel like I am a psychopath and not in reality I think about murder and the death of people. A lot of the time I feel like I am not real,3.2336363636363643,2.896417363636364,5.505606060606059,84.9784090909091,72.33333333333333,7.8121212121212125,25.59090909090909,7.1686216300943375,0.9738000000000002,115,3,27,1,2,41,21,33,0.242,0.618,0.14,-0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,5,2,2,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,2,4,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521492131606486,0.4975484940371392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402533511415504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960511049973675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24141754065825785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963598509582504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444065266331361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22313052609474215,0.0,0.0,0.20305462409545808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VanGoghRIP,2019/04/12,"What is wrong with me? I started drinking heavily at 18. It was fine for the first two years but then the blackouts began and I started experiencing waking up and being told that I'd started a fight, said something horrible to a female friend etc... I don't drink any more (I'm 24) but I've become paranoid about doing things I don't remember

Some money was stolen at work (about £100) yesterday and my first thought was 'was it me?'. It turns out that another staff-member had misplaced it and there was no theft after-all, but it made me realise how warped my thinking is now.

Is there a name for this? The past seems so fuzzy and I'm not sure of myself anymore. Whenever something happens, I question whether it could have been me and its driving me insane. I'm living in constant fear of 'waking up' to the mess I've caused",3.123545296167247,5.0135928353658565,4.016376306620209,87.13158536585371,74.91463414634146,6.393031358885017,26.958188153310104,7.1686216300943375,1.3344822299651569,651,25,128,7,14,209,108,164,0.196,0.7709999999999999,0.033,-0.9821,0,0,4,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,7,7,1,1,7,0,16,4,2,3,1,25,31,13,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,12,8,2,0,5,2,1,1,4,4,0,3,12,2,13,3,15,17,3,19,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,3,12,87,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095318399706023,0.16889396006700552,0.0,0.0,0.15973628761287426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778870761178684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16546132010779807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740574094504337,0.0,0.12859978184583273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31557086256239897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963352221408116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18124640651024712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740089089461727,0.0,0.0,0.12444082440899082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14243200022079952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222609451438128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240654280328847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375773891240746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804331485146362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245877345975053,0.0,0.15321265950742727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663036060545387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479962046317564,0.0,0.0,0.34201451777629993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180479015903842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700649716503063,0.103205943042235,0.0,0.12787009008702946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539074842106989,0.0,0.0,0.1751958548625578,0.1573401421015886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172595044364331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610269645996596,0.0,0.1037225838230549
mentalhealth,a_girl__has_no_name,2019/04/12,"Starting my search for a Therapist and feeling really anxious Title pretty much says it all, but I'm in the USA, PNW region, and just started looking for a therapist this week. There are some childhood issues I never addressed which are interfering with my life, plus past sexual trauma, and major anxiety and possible mood disorder. 

Finally trying to find solutions for the problems in my life, instead of just trying to find a ""quick patch"" to get through the rough patches and wait for a good day to come around again. I'm hoping therapy is the answer for discovering how to work on these things. 

Does anyone have any suggestions for qualifying a therapist? Additionally, does anyone have any advice for how to make therapy work for you? 

I'm new to this and very anxious/nervous/scared to open up to a stranger. Thanks everyone!",7.878533333333337,8.608895653333335,7.980666666666667,67.53033333333337,62.46666666666667,11.466666666666667,36.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,4.516866666666667,668,30,106,18,9,217,98,150,0.091,0.7979999999999999,0.111,0.4744,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,2,9,6,0,0,10,0,5,2,0,3,2,28,18,10,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,6,12,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,4,5,3,26,18,4,18,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,2,11,71,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422798308409075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290276096380694,0.0,0.0972525507481698,0.2872368460348749,0.0,0.17778166803259338,0.0,0.0,0.11317084792968475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950949134752874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198702501717614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456996699618289,0.0,0.22250109029864165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214762253613452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427972249909443,0.0,0.0,0.13926247954988685,0.23238532689835986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641911844710355,0.0,0.0,0.10662891151334933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626676106512758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268857406505108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958849273388003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675547862779516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485890859069678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934536870794805,0.0,0.09804892933109473,0.1227809877097072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135803426949968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433176872968093,0.0,0.12933485103144268,0.0,0.12164430036238105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144143427211924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10109726601555016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996366605697742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170423565956406,0.290763830986076,0.4428161222431158,0.08445817584122266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726230964131019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489389096144157,0.0,0.0,0.10197439103651464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18510135565830546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jojomojii,2019/04/12,new to reddit hi i just got this app and i’ve never used reddit before.. are all my posts anonymous?,-1.3107142857142868,0.4029701904761929,1.0670238095238105,96.76339285714286,109.0,2.1,10.011904761904765,3.1291,-1.8710095238095241,78,1,16,0,4,26,19,21,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,5,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3987213851536219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3747608907672478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613926327253841,0.4525510344656274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4487637170574555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40469690416557214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rynski22,2019/04/12,"Dating with mental health So, I have major anxiety and depression issues with my day to day life. I have had a couple bad episodes in the past few weeks, and I feel another one coming on.

So to begin this event that is leading up to the episode, my boyfriend has a lot of friends... some of them are also female. Me and him have been together for almost a year, and it took me almost that year to become comfortable with it... up until now. He was talking to this one girl he knew since high school, and she kept flirting with him. He would ignore it, but he never told her to stop. When I asked him about it, he says tjat they have been friends since school and she had never flirted with him before. She would also make really inapropriate comments to him like she was leading him on into cheating on me with her. This had happend a few months ago back in October, but also in October we had gotten into a really big fight. So there he is, letting a girl flirt with him while he was going through the fight with me. I had asked him to stop talking to her and delete her off of fb, but he said no that they have been friends forever and she hasn't flirted with him since that one time and they haven't talked in a few months. 
Things have cooled down since then, but ever since than I have been feeling really insecure with myself. I had an ex that talked to a lot of girls and i was ok with it up until I found out he was cheating on me with them. Thats what keeps coming to mind sometimes. I know my boyfriend would NEVER cheat on me and he hasn't talked to her, but I am just nervous now about her. I hate that I am a logical person and know he would never do anythig to hurt me, but why do I keep getting myself worked up over this? I want to talk to him about this, but I don't want to make him mad about bringing it up for the millionth time. 
I just feel lost and want this to end because I trust him, but why do I keep mentally torturing myself over 'what ifs' that will never happen.",4.635773955773956,4.7599016486486505,5.052566093366097,87.83463292383293,69.36855036855037,8.084481572481574,26.35371007371008,7.699297019823105,1.1986376216216217,1549,41,338,16,25,493,169,407,0.14300000000000002,0.778,0.078,-0.9876,0,0,0,0,2,0,39.0,1,0,5,4,18,27,8,2,14,2,41,2,0,4,6,80,72,33,0,8,11,1,3,1,3,5,2,2,0,4,23,31,0,7,8,0,0,7,10,15,0,3,23,6,61,12,64,43,7,61,0,3,0,0,62,23,0,6,32,256,84,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959575199235858,0.0,0.15723595278524127,0.0,0.0,0.18835697459857026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232620576244215,0.06006112088310246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679540200966248,0.0,0.0,0.060370535750050774,0.06555386485165196,0.04785991218498077,0.08670983867717239,0.0668075464329893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526149693908698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687153680291315,0.0,0.10126690935137722,0.0,0.06762188300317211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953792987053876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101819187995959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909339612122345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608386221940828,0.1819734864078876,0.0,0.04101904444985121,0.0,0.04461992318567511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06942750440975938,0.0,0.0,0.077513901365593,0.0,0.08345410632423587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295176319780033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404823812961312,0.0,0.0,0.08194566029804112,0.0,0.20935401918337196,0.0,0.0,0.0862957892923561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802833792335727,0.055455029653845474,0.03835677757673375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570463131742942,0.13349542448451818,0.0,0.0,0.10481413860437787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824235264825318,0.0,0.07927428441077485,0.0,0.1253343403920596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30276473736214443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960437460082635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494815827782576,0.0,0.06855325716106259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15088952807141826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468246304968698,0.062435535812672714,0.0,0.1589157603390616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3247278275348371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764993052219457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312783426916415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786276597327627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052159585221588235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915614324000192,0.0,0.0,0.07502115059936416,0.08722922090619646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892443912865915,0.0,0.06297722969636482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168892443678385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571573434953265,0.0,0.0,0.22308941016080924,0.0,0.0,0.10111772824370094
mentalhealth,MyUncleIsAnApe,2019/04/12,I don't feel like I am in reality I don't feel like I am real. I feel depressed and I have developed a weird fascination with murder and crimes. I think about the murders of people I know,0.997,2.9959167000000018,3.945000000000004,84.59000000000002,82.0,7.0,22.5,8.07648339933343,1.2534999999999994,148,5,32,3,4,53,26,40,0.416,0.51,0.07400000000000001,-0.929,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,10,2,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,3,8,2,4,10,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29494173977854343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5194415163872492,0.4892762017918458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881952194991091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3345962640599578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237403707889394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897699314615132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194207351038684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BobIsAPleb,2019/04/12,"I know I sound dumb but seriously. Guys is it weird that I'm afraid of being narcissistic ...like sometimes I feel like I'm better than someone at something but I know I do that because I'm insecure. I'm genuinely afraid of being a narcissist or psychopath or anything like that. Like I get anxiety when I think I'll be like that or that's like my fundamental nature or something. My family is all good and noone is dysfunctional or anything. I know I sound very dumb but at times I do get scared and start panicking. When I panic and I think that if I'm a narcissist, I start losing hope and think I shouldn't study or do anything because I don't deserve it(because I'm a ""narcissist""). Is this normal? I'm a teenager. I genuinely hate narcissistic behaviour and think it's bad.",3.0629220779220785,5.219751525974028,4.714285714285714,80.85571428571431,75.94805194805195,8.296103896103896,28.532467532467532,9.04235418022936,2.5960831168831167,621,27,119,15,14,209,69,154,0.244,0.594,0.162,-0.9325,0,0,2,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,2,21,3,5,4,0,12,0,0,0,1,27,33,17,0,4,10,0,1,6,0,1,0,2,0,1,9,5,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,12,0,0,0,3,18,9,5,29,1,8,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,8,12,66,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110472593384658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583637629703588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212028167937199,0.2654651795792739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838252042284112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684424537318354,0.0,0.07339742721036943,0.10370257268773216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516805680568042,0.0,0.0,0.12175360233442573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373155422338285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331577867210513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441769666086747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393289723650973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42550804556993294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239728485201854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222630833541458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17031437717123676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453308192637529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229938812085776,0.22350303632506072,0.14356728355261056,0.0,0.2054904652103052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720515266914217,0.0,0.0,0.08464415898028048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977247921011637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LSW_Therapy,2019/04/12,"Getting To Know You - What does it means to be a truly authentic you? ***Getting To Know You*** focuses on what it means to be a truly authentic you, how and why should we get to know ourselves better and what the benefits are. Full of exercises, journal guides and techniques, Getting To Know You will help you to dig a little deeper, and enjoy a journey of self discovery.

Here an excerpt from Chapter 1 for you to read for free - [https://medium.com/@LSWLondon/getting-to-know-you-aad16870e886](https://medium.com/@LSWLondon/getting-to-know-you-aad16870e886)

If you'd like a copy of the full e-book DM me on here :-)",7.5006122448979555,11.179325591836744,5.570775510204083,72.57779591836736,68.59183673469387,6.777142857142858,26.126530612244892,7.908726449838941,1.7273355102040822,500,16,76,7,10,144,58,98,0.0,0.7659999999999999,0.234,0.9721,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,1,8,0,1,3,5,0,0,8,0,6,1,0,1,0,14,16,6,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,6,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,6,16,11,2,6,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,1,1,54,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301564518702456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119397282720286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4088268598910188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112424607622156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6450668896250749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955731730379886,0.19606903640418946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4261889786841889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19567933000548346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204080990057601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765223898914968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nathanfreundl,2019/04/12,"Feel very apathetic? I think it started a year or so ago, but I've realized that I'm becoming almost numb to feelings. Things like shows and movies that used to make me cry have no effect. Alternatively, things that used to make me extremely happy have no effect as well. Nothing, not even the deaths of loved ones have made me feel anything. I used to be very emotional and feel things deeply, but now there's nothing. Normally I could pinpoint where it started, but I really can't. I haven't had any major changes in my life, no trauma. (I am not in any way suicidal)

I'm a 15 year old male. I have ADHD and take Adderall, but the Adderall was not a cause.",3.0409576682859125,4.830212679389317,4.1873698820263705,86.25261623872312,74.87786259541986,7.511727966689799,25.64954892435809,8.296473431620573,1.5817725190839689,515,18,106,9,11,168,81,131,0.14400000000000002,0.7240000000000001,0.133,0.1083,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,5,0,11,3,0,9,0,29,28,10,2,2,8,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,8,1,0,0,8,2,1,1,3,4,11,4,8,23,1,11,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,2,8,64,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17090513866235674,0.0,0.126057895474085,0.0,0.14239973513862153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19341122733140556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702421656353253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705642180203616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608572724840996,0.1504361145255338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354069121832144,0.0,0.15620767511259734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996369671363675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939263601495611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876164602987327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138196010605093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044498595811248,0.06947514065257201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283473393451964,0.1345596700686846,0.1898485087113885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933263371597066,0.2729028392897309,0.0,0.14922228949502753,0.0,0.09636312080679256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911014241206814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013096455667658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555513401636837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692194088957316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834279688172576,0.09112048203084724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684634805760727,0.0,0.2346712808671201,0.0,0.11287727077277583,0.0,0.0,0.12786114120208827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315324790112095
mentalhealth,31525Coyote15205,2019/04/12,"Depression be crazy sometimes I have shit I need to get done. Deadlines. Time I can't afford to waste. And I just spent all morning sitting on my bed, with a weird sour cup of tea and a spoon, staring at the wall, bringing a single spoonful of tea to my mouth every few minutes. I don't even know why :/",2.546451612903226,4.004820741935486,3.5201935483870948,91.91029032258066,75.45161290322581,5.605161290322582,26.916129032258066,5.6839178017228535,0.7560219354838713,234,9,50,1,5,75,49,62,0.219,0.7440000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.8877,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,0,5,4,2,0,1,7,10,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,2,2,7,0,8,7,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199646653011307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38016428540840624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453663105904397,0.0,0.3129972008804724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940887216606076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20416174551461666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754558791277014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3813301865603344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674141110359876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21661939723705986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352128576644788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DekuCoffee,2019/04/12,"Weird to say but I struggle to socialise in games online For a while I've dealt with anxiety but i could play online games just fine but now I have a hard time wanting to write anything for example maybe 8 years ago some games I played were minecraft, garrys mod, runescape I was fine to talk to people in the sense of roleplaying or maybe purchasing but now i find im paranoid/worried about the outcome of talking online so im basically playing multiplayer games alone out of fear. I guess what im getting at is are there others that feel like this. In my own mind it sounds weird as gaming is usually an escape not a worry",2.766586021505379,5.09240560483871,3.5706451612903223,87.86763440860216,77.62903225806451,6.391397849462368,25.655913978494624,7.492282038375204,1.3480559139784951,501,19,98,7,12,159,87,124,0.128,0.708,0.16399999999999998,0.7008,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,6,10,0,2,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,17,11,8,0,2,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,8,1,0,1,4,0,0,2,4,8,6,18,8,2,12,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,3,8,58,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785854936594311,0.0,0.0,0.17275497887955918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760190030051174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372625715882037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317659980289578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876968980745618,0.08433932764306819,0.11916228657813352,0.0,0.0,0.15245260451302034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714635929787873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374951907321185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494204550111662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5405193806906475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814902825027408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351469761615037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684209216718765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563844131647663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326464258215183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743760638238261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681357933266531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09726269337546027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837071484299396,0.0,0.09838323677809227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33878794078560603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741403164186564
mentalhealth,luminousshadows,2019/04/12,"Feel like I'm manic depressive but it's way too quick. I feel pretty much everything described in manic depression and yet the cycles are much quicker than what I have seen depicted of the disorder. The older i get, the worse it gets. I've always dealt with some intense anxiety but i find myself these days feeling immensely euphoric to the point i embarrass myself, and then after some 6 hours I feel incredibly depressed or paranoid and anxious with no discernable reason. It almost feels that the more intensely I feel one emotion, the harder another will fall on me. It is never a subtle change. On top of everything, these mood switcheroos leave me feeling very self conscious and scared for how my loved ones perceive me. I know for a fact I have lost my touch with a lot of people because of them. Some have stuck around, and them losing patience with me is my greatest fear. I dont know what's going on. I know I need to see a professional. But in the meantime, does anyone have any idea what this might be?",5.254618800888231,6.760528854922281,5.499381939304218,80.1886139896373,68.74093264248705,8.415840118430793,29.8478904515174,8.841846274778883,2.460126868985937,811,31,145,14,14,257,124,193,0.224,0.643,0.133,-0.9619,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,3,5,11,0,3,12,0,11,1,0,2,2,40,31,11,0,1,4,0,8,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,11,10,0,0,16,0,0,2,3,8,0,2,3,10,23,2,20,25,8,19,0,5,2,1,4,8,0,7,9,103,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458769452755147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352660683616097,0.0,0.0,0.08460921252945676,0.13046420991454358,0.09518022372131013,0.14055809876594627,0.0,0.08699668444021955,0.0,0.0,0.11075932242199288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584469090936187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161884510651473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023998674941009,0.0,0.3214858060287527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14259499700936026,0.0,0.10887993882905272,0.0,0.1458181862195886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399546717011498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22363961800976612,0.0,0.0,0.14000600859751527,0.4403700288370971,0.08888498579518518,0.0,0.0,0.11371674693145226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000762457197526,0.0,0.07071020668272375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252769038234256,0.0,0.0,0.14045394986153736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051323487711744,0.0,0.0,0.13174179682959025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060784857446927285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919307865884706,0.13581807769825233,0.1057766170642882,0.11229303967593117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198893781946114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292461792265452,0.09225514036410364,0.09595963249883344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861912063405304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625649531366499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176162069457052,0.0,0.0,0.12657889136513675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279234932959228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245651623779768,0.0,0.0991458649084224,0.0,0.12979619169228887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026587367827636,0.0,0.09875804134363253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267936294058059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,springdandelion,2019/04/12,"Please help, dropped out of uni for mental health issues, can I have my student loan wiped? I'll try and keep it as brief as possible. 

6 years ago experienced mental health issues at uni and had to drop out, I tried a second time the year after at a different uni, but my mental health deteriorated fast. 

At the time of dropping out I was house bound and diagnosed with PTSD, panic disorder and agoraphobia. It was a horrible time as you can imagine, I so desperately wanted to be well enough to study. 

Years later, I feel that I've addressed many of these issues, and after giving it a lot of thought, I want to go back into study. After working dead end jobs for years, I've realised that these experiences will help me to be able to help others, and I want a degree so I can prove that at industry level. 

Also, for some reason my credit score looks terrible, I can only imagine it's because of these student loans. 

I just need to know if there's a way I can have a fresh start, perhaps if I can provide evidence of my mental health breakdown, so that I can apply for funding to study again. I'm only entitled to one year of funding currently. I'll never save enough money to pay for two years study on minimum wage. 

Please, if anybody has any advice, or could point me in the right direction, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Thank you",7.5567374005305,6.380073049808432,8.01854406130268,73.33278514588862,63.71264367816092,10.789389920424403,33.87002652519894,9.851270322608157,3.11209142351901,1050,36,199,18,13,349,144,261,0.12,0.741,0.139,-0.115,6,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,1,9,7,0,1,10,0,17,5,0,1,2,35,31,18,1,8,6,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,0,13,11,0,2,7,0,8,2,1,2,1,3,4,3,21,5,39,23,4,40,0,0,1,0,6,13,0,6,21,128,34,7,0.09327446349128524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911467262056112,0.08268218402593823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459155475484533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342983369171593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172230493577023,0.0,0.056859247202017564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447206928561984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467161703162262,0.0,0.09745196189082402,0.10690061608155854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261348932575592,0.19275490924449012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124032326076856,0.0,0.0,0.04716237132524083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894773646420463,0.053010027112952066,0.0,0.0,0.1028354252869248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3965855719227406,0.0,0.0,0.18755972021070494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762620759975433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920629192554848,0.09256051252927752,0.08290662885377416,0.0,0.0,0.05126120579685375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832705755876307,0.0,0.0,0.07929861333391137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456566597422393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37599488324508223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916183280235258,0.07193901643275658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320519042378353,0.14187886518684326,0.0,0.10943748580116694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047747022354741,0.0881745169702317,0.10515294284075503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090328563724722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959016833089986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965588217854762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660201453401606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587459416338675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404950515340468,0.16316726926540234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665447602799246,0.0,0.09111559752135366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16504708567553436,0.074036927550476,0.0,0.0,0.0838649444914055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790492031515426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36039417818986136
mentalhealth,10-Totti-10,2019/04/12,"Sorry this will be rather long, please be honest too, I don't want to be wrapped up. So to begin with, I have 2 children I cannot see for reasons I thought were unfair.

I am a supervisor at a factory for a big company.

My mother tried to abandon me once, then get rid of me for 6 months and then when I turned 21 she ran off to the other end on the country and left me with my step dad.

So my downward spiral started when I got my supervisor job, I was working long hours and as soon as I got home I was already half asleep and not really conveying much emotionally,  things went sour and she left, all pretty bland and shouldn't be in a mental health post, at first she wouldn't let me see the kid, but then we sorted it and I was seeing them. I got into a relationship and it stopped and I thought it was because of my partner. It partially was but I feel like I'm understanding that I was abusive, I didn't give her my time and I was and still am extremely jealous. Every girlfriend I have had has cheated on me and my family is full of cheaters. So it scares me a lot.

So after all this I move in as someone's room mate, well my new girlfriend likes things, take always and pot. So occasionally we'd pay less rent even on some occasions not pay at all, and I always felt awful, to her though it was nothing. It was my name being dragged through the gutter not hers.

Early on in our relationship she'd also messaged a guy saying she couldn't wait to du*k him and I saw it and went ballistic, she said it was an inside joke because one of her friends says duck instead, a few weeks later her friend sent her a message saying he couldn't wait to f**k het not duck . So I lost my head again, she also got a Snapchat and said it was from a female friend and it was a bloke.

My girlfriend was once a ""party girl"" and what she was like was rather played down, I have social anxiety and extreme paranoia, I'm also, despite being rather clever, an absolute idiot and never thought this could of been a problem because I never knew the extent of it.

Her friend knew I had a problem with hard drugs and eventually started to talk a lot about what my girlfriend used to be like and I started freaking out worrying she'd eventually go back to it and the time I'd spent trying to get my life back together has been wasted. But I love the girl...

Eventually me and my housemate had an argument and I threw a wobble and left and moved a 2 hour journey away from where I work to live with my girlfriend and her parents.

Work was becoming hard, I love responsibility but in a factory environment people act like children, and I lost my cool. I went to the doctors because i realised everything was becoming too muxh and i told him about my bad thoughts. He gave me a leaflett for a phone tgerpist on the NHS and i rang, i had been given a leaflet when i was with my ex for my anxiety issues but couldnt phone them... this time i felt i had to. I rang and got very little help, to be told i need to either find a new job or go to relationship counciling. I felt that wad too much and that id gotten no help and i left it. In work things were going bad and I started shouting and had a mental breakdown. The management were fantastic with me.

I came back a couple of days later and they'd sorted things for me. And I get more support with known trouble makers. 

I feel like I'm being abusive to this girl I'm with though, every time we have trouble I look for other women and start making inroads, the first time we split I went straight for this beautiful girl but luckily she moved away shortly after.

Te latest one, a young girl has fallen for me, my girlfriends best friend had been offering me and her drugs and pretty much made out my girlfriend is a slag. My girlfriend tells her mate everything, she knows im against drugs and she lnows how scared and paranoid i am about cheating. So I started making a path for this new girl and she's amazing, pretty, funny and calm. I feel comfortable with her too, I know if I got with her she'd never cheat, but my current girlfriend has patched things up with me after we talked and now this other girl is trying her best but I'd never cheat and I don't know what to say to her.

I feel like I'm abusive because of my paranoia,  told her I'd never stop her seeing her friends but if her friends or family make one more remark that's meant to p*ss me off I'm gone. I can't say that, do I even have a right to say that?

I also realised, I'm checking nearly every woman I see out, without being anywhere near discrete at all, to the point of creepy,I'm a fat ugly balding guy and know noone in the street would be attracted to me, but along with the self loathing side of me I also have a narsasstic side where I think I'm amazingly gorgeous I and intelligent, it's strange but realise I'm doing it and don't stop, it's disgusting, as if I were to think, I wonder if that girl over there will see me looking at her arse and think ""damn I'll have him"". I don't understand why I know what I'm doing but continuing to do it, as if I'm trying to fuck my life up.

I lay there with my girlfriend and think about the young girl and I hate myself, I've not done anything with anyone whilst I've been with my girlfriend but it eats me up.

I travel 4 hours every day for work, get 110 pounds taken out of my wages for my children I can't see, I pay 100 pound a week for travel and I'm so close to breaking down.

I'm sorry about the length of this, and I've missed about 3 times more than I've already written out, but if anyone has been through similar and got back on track (I know once my heads sorted I can sort everything else out) please let me know, be honest with me,I I know I'm an arsehole. I will delete this after a day or two as this is massively specific and if anyone reads this who knows me, they'll know who I am.",3.993799710024856,4.559175189726599,4.968358637116818,86.31439379660317,70.92212096106047,7.758280861640433,27.432156172328085,7.7348632917899725,1.4192290057995032,4582,149,983,52,80,1501,425,1207,0.121,0.73,0.14800000000000002,0.9927,6,0,3,0,0,0,109.0,6,0,4,11,48,55,10,2,53,2,99,16,5,8,9,197,215,110,0,21,34,4,9,7,21,7,8,11,3,19,52,88,2,6,34,5,7,21,25,23,1,7,78,32,174,32,130,107,20,145,0,4,10,3,124,56,2,18,73,666,226,14,0.0,0.1410986433896026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761032396047712,0.15872307580138548,0.06605995937189729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060734162011012977,0.0,0.0,0.08326841208133696,0.0,0.03266615638659417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459078250935232,0.1220940883228431,0.06628845732162135,0.12099056834673777,0.08768150365388512,0.0,0.0,0.0833163190553244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04540127458348514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03169376462833317,0.043922506879306066,0.0,0.07680127495711762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040630203114106186,0.0,0.0406224552712596,0.0,0.0,0.13810313356029494,0.04061858326361906,0.0331606409490723,0.044652288957546714,0.03515858376076316,0.0,0.0,0.052437234951338375,0.0,0.13378126542462734,0.0,0.10702773324049107,0.0,0.07484309489744287,0.0,0.08028529946514383,0.08507578964257115,0.11434221287182035,0.0,0.03628112575004313,0.06753023793319747,0.0,0.0,0.2146814481063187,0.03669800981416541,0.08295740254341785,0.03807970641519623,0.06767989684089032,0.0,0.2222377903945259,0.0,0.0,0.07860991394385396,0.0,0.0,0.07111905152693909,0.03919125862474601,0.0814784248963657,0.04219464388489638,0.0,0.0,0.05321434539720297,0.0,0.039817996360280265,0.0,0.11727672473704699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042878138386714025,0.04143196909634148,0.07878366013249119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181570361445219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17251785838378306,0.08118302971157489,0.05607645521430375,0.1357531042144432,0.039785492527614895,0.03505200630083292,0.07025884247586096,0.06666873500658038,0.0,0.08666503200394518,0.06749568289069924,0.07165378896729949,0.03756100536170495,0.07949150941712613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000780322971568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031684707273987825,0.1265706540135451,0.08754266075203933,0.02943383836556235,0.15307874994510448,0.1150149843176306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038089068606343264,0.0,0.0,0.12682378787141907,0.08069644557199843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044077346927936696,0.0,0.0,0.027519981336781626,0.0,0.0,0.08714785659569857,0.03752524152851909,0.0,0.03801748160155488,0.12115431013044704,0.0,0.07596679561707237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03970641496749613,0.0,0.025430064432450054,0.04081376289678657,0.0,0.12785489054316815,0.0,0.033899887639037486,0.07551935001461603,0.1894055534530373,0.07948458678710116,0.0,0.22142618238589867,0.0,0.04141124398768884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040464739379464085,0.03363401470772507,0.0,0.0,0.08887211143256832,0.16858080892967212,0.0,0.03170101553888937,0.09956207963246536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504617902702189,0.0,0.0,0.0298462057241013,0.06381175622972728,0.03469576764520332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186020559959374,0.10174153704077224,0.07800159387109531,0.12605572047021002,0.13888119604443674,0.0,0.0,0.11379274931338144,0.0,0.10780302443217248,0.04317749305772605,0.038776904274490716,0.08264919056145148,0.0,0.034284316052117535,0.0,0.032753087289783045,0.023413536270135555,0.0,0.06368294855549196,0.0,0.03569117706511852,0.14719314535011405,0.035819170394182684,0.0,0.0,0.03826521199213921,0.043048263798434586,0.14449461269298916,0.04031288255620113,0.0,0.02819866700044349,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,themajeramcat,2019/04/12,"I'm feeling lonely and guilty for that 17F, 18 in a month. My second visit at the psychiatrist's already booked, 33 days left. Second one, because the first one left me feeling worse than before so I decided to change my doctor. I am swinging from feeling very good, to indifferent, to hopeless and suicidal. My boyfriend (who might be reading this, but probably not) has his own problems, just like my two best friends. He can't find any way to help me even though he wants to, and he tried, but now it became too difficult and I can't blame him for that even if I wanted to. My parents only try to give me time and space to relax and calm down, I'm very grateful for that. My school counselor only tells me she is going to support me and that I am strong. Other words don't work anymore. I admitted it to myself today, every time when I feel this hopeless I realize new things that show that I am slowly losing hope and life. I don't think I have any traumas or physical illnesses that make me depressed, it just happens, started 3-4 years ago. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore, and anything new or valuable. My relationship is losing its colours, I can't support it anymore as well as I would want to. I'm losing hair and probably gaining weight.  It's all just happening. And I can't feel any control over it. 
I'm writing this, probably my 3rd post about my mental health on Reddit, because I can't hold it inside, I can feel it eating me alive, slowly. I know there's no escape. I'm afraid I won't get help or I won't last until the visit. I can feel parts of me dying every time I think about ways to end my life. There's too much to fix in me, and I just can't find any reasons why I could be fixed.",3.024358974358975,4.337042376068375,4.339259259259261,87.10666666666668,73.95726495726495,6.795441595441595,26.105413105413103,7.2427474758485975,1.1895686609686615,1338,46,277,14,27,442,185,351,0.13,0.6829999999999999,0.187,0.9734,2,2,0,0,0,3,44.0,0,0,0,9,17,23,0,1,4,0,26,8,1,3,1,53,55,24,2,8,11,1,9,1,1,4,5,0,0,0,22,12,2,2,16,4,0,3,13,11,1,6,0,10,47,12,32,48,5,32,0,7,1,0,19,9,0,6,18,177,69,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394824339236389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205784531932223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22691828163129846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24819552864038066,0.05833034474207535,0.0,0.06864889515008478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017061051479323,0.0,0.0709856645361886,0.0,0.08754585607548282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824902533949311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356445377033128,0.06660538506987645,0.0,0.0,0.0538000513388397,0.0,0.07185092940036872,0.0,0.08657848343606707,0.0,0.0,0.08538557522646248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536115576650792,0.0,0.0,0.07388680509741934,0.0,0.0,0.11019840233214856,0.0,0.14057264580643913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952633857419763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524917206705035,0.07095839756095182,0.0,0.0,0.06445134594481662,0.0,0.04358435961770823,0.08002563087329204,0.047410435916335335,0.06997010700682177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753894734210235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867329384176206,0.0,0.0,0.1118315229505292,0.0,0.0,0.08285650352930497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04584634728156943,0.06799976421471196,0.0,0.0,0.1812756945069576,0.0,0.11784633150091052,0.04075559560449183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799824033337909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05568458713779339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406938407604335,0.08849716853795639,0.0,0.0,0.0665863507714597,0.0,0.061324498134022964,0.0,0.0,0.16113826403218867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305731362036585,0.12689182051332512,0.0,0.0,0.09262985004846228,0.0903374980743945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989486358445508,0.0,0.2698278862764069,0.0798232354839352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344420707567657,0.0,0.0,0.0857713315464245,0.0,0.08956361309086182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844271452496539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059046260496479874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124972552629364,0.18933175879896585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705114784418084,0.07291418332291892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055421625498554186,0.10690642673202254,0.08196132988259733,0.0,0.14593147342987636,0.0,0.07907395289804829,0.0,0.0,0.11327562437286533,0.0,0.08149081282415087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376631660356977,0.1476127197959108,0.13243241704423,0.0,0.10158507385421596,0.07500606570082882,0.0,0.07527504747275354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607319416408839,0.0,0.0850137699146657,0.059260333887338965,0.0,0.0,0.053720795920626827
mentalhealth,throwawayformybrain,2019/04/12,"Explosive outbursts of anger Recently I’ve been having quite serious outbursts of anger, I can’t play games without hurting my self in anger, I was being told to do something at work and I just exploded slammed the desk, doors and left the office in a fit of rage, I can’t really remember it that well even though it was less than an hour ago, anyone experienced this?",4.056384976525823,6.1292293098591575,4.813732394366198,81.62698356807516,72.80281690140845,8.67699530516432,28.734741784037556,9.2995712137729,2.6702938967136145,295,12,55,7,6,95,55,71,0.205,0.679,0.116,-0.8416,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,4,8,4,0,4,0,8,0,0,0,0,5,9,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,6,1,0,4,1,5,2,9,4,1,8,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,37,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23172138851081456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18278173836031827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17265675037465258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574330779323997,0.0,0.2798414254280912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840192931395045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27803834822868273,0.0,0.0,0.16746391341188732,0.0,0.2581077150662212,0.0,0.2961229879711129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727043415817536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20124375421511628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256830890002582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24978543498563396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350361400569009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25198686243052243,0.0,0.19030729059125406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InternationalBit4,2019/04/12,"Can't afford a therapist and beginning to lose my mind Hey everyone, I am seeking advice. I cannot afford therapy and was wondering what tips your therapists give you for anxiety and managing stress. I have a bad problem where if I am worried about something, it begins to consume my every thought and I am unable to think about anything else. No matter what I am doing, where I am, who I am with, etc. and even if the thing I am worried about will not happen for months. Sometimes, I can convince myself out of it for a few days, until my mind finds something new to worry about. Does anyone else experience this, and how do you handle it?",4.602759856630826,5.950481354838715,5.6752688172043015,78.91345878136202,70.12903225806451,8.414336917562725,29.90681003584229,8.841846274778883,2.525257347670252,504,20,91,9,9,167,79,124,0.185,0.79,0.025,-0.9571,2,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,0,1,8,5,0,1,4,0,15,0,0,1,0,20,22,10,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,17,1,15,19,2,9,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,3,6,75,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354836971547866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237762027514933,0.0,0.0,0.10271545902062323,0.1505157700972912,0.12088566950493755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265484265945435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473794459877216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855263355063218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24543115724423314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383163492294106,0.09702565216215138,0.0,0.12376905968581248,0.1403686486482476,0.0,0.14369577714564458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134263368018611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091926671977856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299026327263604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643428259241498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966529861617883,0.0,0.11725368012552174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187633237073646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056286328322476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22618063242719186,0.14528723870469598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827273846219234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16799223843964764,0.3411229947480321,0.0975934177643698,0.09412718836644772,0.0,0.11662169543018415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930610656215932,0.0,0.44755033985083903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DATChrisAT,2019/04/12,"How do I stop worrying about stuff? I am currently in a psychiatric day-care hospital and I am getting support from all sides possible, I’m taking medication, and although we are still in the trying phase, I don’t want my calmness to be determined by pills for eternity. But I still can‘t stop worrying about things.

For instance: my parents are in their early 60s and I worry about them dying and me not knowing what to do after that happens. Or: What do I do in case of any kind of emergency, a robbery/theft, someone screwing me over, worry about my own death/health etc. I have talked to my family about these topics and financial literacy (at least I think that‘s what that‘s called)

I consider myself a rather open-minded person and I know that worrying about uncontrollable things is counterproductive, but my feelings be like “Let’s give this guy a rollercoaster ride!“ so it‘s my heart vs. my mind. 

I do not have much life experience (I‘m 20, btw) and I am in a very turbulent time of my life, I spent the majority of the last 15 months in front of my laptop and I have been semi-voluntarilly ripped out of my comfort zone a few weeks ago. Although writing and talking about this helps, it only does until I stop doing it, then it immediately gets worse again.

Are there any kinds of coping skills that I could learn that have a relatively high success rate? If there are, how long would you say I have to train for them to have an effect?

I know, I should be asking a therapist these questions, but the more help I can get from people that (have) successfully deal(t) with anxiety, worry or anything else of that sort, the better.

If you need any more information to give me advice, just ask. In case my location is relevant: I live in Austria",6.095032989099256,6.821187123493978,6.534148020654047,76.37447791164662,66.31927710843374,9.938267355134826,30.568559954102124,9.957137785484203,2.8800993689041885,1383,49,259,30,21,449,195,332,0.09,0.805,0.105,0.8973,2,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,2,3,5,17,11,1,1,14,0,33,6,1,3,1,47,53,23,1,8,12,1,1,1,0,2,4,1,0,2,22,12,0,3,9,0,1,2,4,2,0,0,2,2,43,9,41,44,9,33,0,0,0,1,22,13,1,6,19,192,65,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923523885334236,0.08094821117136722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862988369041257,0.0,0.06985829101994916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075147224685312,0.0,0.1707406682259659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08076366338981553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324624965065513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291027519314056,0.0,0.0,0.058892783885337086,0.09414521341318094,0.0,0.0,0.094774034359323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991330715112893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628476722567687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184410385892263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932687303397213,0.08608681722209592,0.0,0.04617330369720731,0.06523785049261092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431302131431309,0.17520177275021132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041952771731863,0.08075251904281879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706714028456376,0.0,0.10821268941745474,0.12241753583493276,0.09648285494652108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19018802692178916,0.15055853787464868,0.07443664677806383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337920418567716,0.12900170836365968,0.044613535197888465,0.0,0.08063577979564969,0.08081386985323777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919936346866491,0.0,0.0,0.1844110116274628,0.0,0.07288943910107057,0.0,0.06712949756753266,0.06771140255471862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945172333797824,0.0,0.0,0.10139822554959152,0.0,0.0,0.06330864875487545,0.07973566458148235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029477235349016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229745590033618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262002051672077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737374518135116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585391126279754,0.2290386992498528,0.0,0.0,0.10453766784356594,0.0,0.10362698618401303,0.0,0.0,0.06866003765516565,0.14679646806955232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602764759726063,0.12133571369676813,0.05851311410308418,0.0,0.0,0.053248466701555336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199916821316974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534720585348863,0.0538619312889729,0.0,0.07325007550760818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5564293283809797,0.09306120448341858,0.06486993877792906,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Yooneek13579,2019/04/12,"I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm much more mentally disturbed than I thought I was. I'm in my mid-thirties, and I've adapted to a somewhat normal life. I have friends, a great gf, a dog, I work by contract with customers, I get by. I've really wrapped my public identity around peaceful communication, and people around me think pretty highly of me for this.

But I've also always felt like a fraud. I can't really hold a job, or a long term friendship, or relationship, or living situation, or any amount of stability. But let me give you some background.

I was physically and emotionally abused pretty badly as a child, enough that CPS got involved and removed me and my siblings, and we were all adopted out. Preteen me and my baby sister were adopted by a nice Christian couple, who really hammered in how full of sin we were. I could never get along with people through middle school and high school, I was bullied excessively, regularly suspended for fighting, constantly in trouble at home for my suspensions, and it was almost overnight that I went from Straight A's to straight F's. My adopted parents put a lot of pride in  grades,  and towards the end of high school it was very apparent that they hated me. Literally counting down the days till I was 18 and they could kick me out. I decided to run away when I was 17.

I join the military, maybe for a fresh start. But that was a rocky journey, excessively in trouble and eventually discharged for misconduct. I tried to reconnect with my parents afterwards, for some kind of support, but they hated me more. I tried to connect with the church for a while, but in private one-on-ones with my church pastor, through my questions and poking and prodding, he all but admitted to me that there is no God. A crushing realization.

I've never been in too much trouble with the law. I stole a candy bar when I was young, got a slap on the wrist. I've learned that I can have very superficial relationships with people, I can appear smart and well put together, I can smile and laugh and try to be positive, but it's all just a public persona. Whenever I got comfortable opening up to people, the reaction signals to me that I've made a mistake, and I push them away. My inner dialogue is a mess of hating myself, hating others, realizing I only hate others because I'm terrible, trying to help others to make up for my terribleness, and legitimately wanted to do the right thing although not knowing what that is.

My current girlfriend is college educated and we see each other is pretty Sharp. She understands mental illness, and respects that I've opened up somewhat to her, but I don't want her to know the depths of my problem.

Lately I've even become so cynical in my own head, so angry about my failed attempt at life, and how messed up I see the world as, that I've been trying to distract myself with excessive amounts as TV and internet, and I just tell people I'm going through some depression. Everyone has cheap advice for depression, and they don't question it too much. It's more acceptable than the truth.

I actually wrote a lot more, but it makes this post excessive and I'm just here for some advice.


TLDR: In my mid-30s I'm finding it harder to cope with the world, and I'm pretty sure it's because of a mental illness. I'm far too poor to seek professional help, but I don't want to live like this.",6.766229937629937,6.749029029230773,7.2911975051975055,74.07807276507279,64.86153846153846,10.165488565488566,35.25987525987526,9.836113211274913,3.410143451143451,2679,115,490,51,37,883,308,650,0.163,0.713,0.123,-0.9886,5,0,0,0,3,0,81.0,3,1,5,4,21,39,7,2,34,0,34,7,2,5,8,115,76,54,0,8,18,3,2,2,3,0,4,0,1,1,29,49,1,1,14,2,2,10,8,23,1,0,22,4,69,16,87,50,26,67,5,3,2,0,35,39,0,16,19,339,98,10,0.0,0.08137644259957863,0.06702331562691596,0.0,0.0,0.13422969214109665,0.0,0.0,0.06877468234597492,0.0,0.0,0.05492463551835312,0.05714857736563285,0.0,0.0,0.046705830277400766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228233687627076,0.0,0.0,0.12905721243335322,0.0,0.05734625131036205,0.08373530860652538,0.07585341018587972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05916310055584146,0.0,0.07422038949129238,0.0,0.10967330752800827,0.07599486304111762,0.0,0.04429393786491132,0.0,0.11831069016465735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077257534346245,0.0608314950000657,0.07096643292543213,0.0,0.04536353650455417,0.0,0.0,0.06562819393790847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594508847813732,0.0,0.06277372076982081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053063219114972346,0.0,0.07176658269822216,0.0658856308366187,0.03903332525466337,0.0,0.16479280354246315,0.07572168552891415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390442102702276,0.07048711675110021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207163200852024,0.2176975836471444,0.06889322570513136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815587140891828,0.0,0.0,0.07152129761368972,0.07549120148727273,0.0,0.07747581493644314,0.0,0.0,0.07023156990045176,0.09702366364362004,0.06710870247997601,0.0,0.1212941886704202,0.06078103790901913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678124819332787,0.0,0.0649881726011935,0.09169097728849324,0.0,0.06899987955474783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076446387282912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146659393525394,0.0,0.10594293871750426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729336690770983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04654041678450079,0.05223543726737195,0.0,0.0,0.15252553558515355,0.0,0.0,0.2380758022680369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577796926339778,0.27949543743801514,0.0,0.06571899737480555,0.0,0.1380879177865793,0.15387817849501073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13199753845890028,0.0,0.0,0.147476629277475,0.0,0.05865369491129172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085282801449831,0.10946065565866607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720097469875027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048613176539820994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07793904421464291,0.06473157728718378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600307290644637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04562899058858571,0.044008383869416086,0.0,0.0545255035135324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331514256362112,0.0,0.0,0.07149994801567174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333899449776386,0.12153052787127044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061752989652734784,0.063668513685995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050001008967712784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,l0cal3th0t,2019/04/12,"I dont feel anything I have always been pessimistic but relatively pleased with life. The day to day routine has always exhausted me but being out and being with friends brought me so much joy it kept me happy and having something good to look forward too. Although nothing has changed with my life, my friends are still great and we hang out and theres no other factors like stress.. I just cant find joy anymore. Nothing I used to enjoy has any affect on me. And now its not just happiness either, it's all of my emotions.. I feel absolutely blank to everything, not sad, just completely neutral. I'm in one of the best relationships I've had in a while and I don't even get that butterfly happy feeling. I'm worried that I'll never be able to enjoy anything again. I don't feel suicidal, I have before but it is nothing like I feel now.. Is there anything I can do?? Has anyone else felt like this?",2.1206712004730903,4.593440061797754,3.377167356593734,87.53616499112951,80.96629213483146,5.769840331164992,26.78415138971023,7.0608816371341465,1.4117932584269663,713,31,137,9,19,231,107,178,0.095,0.597,0.308,0.995,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,1,12,18,0,1,3,0,21,3,0,2,2,33,34,12,1,0,9,0,6,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,8,12,0,1,7,0,0,3,8,3,0,1,5,7,18,15,15,26,4,16,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,0,12,97,26,0,0.12067672421800557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008254035203992,0.0,0.0,0.08206431064944515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967888362114901,0.08437997144682521,0.12364756487683445,0.2979199851244093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102687004048802,0.0,0.12664277690456666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765997306004684,0.0,0.12652724937182055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15565300756861286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143222203015804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008099181851079,0.13574507210223305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970583821670052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845645844704643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050888884724069,0.0,0.11586857988677166,0.0,0.1102963396920644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646907555854736,0.0,0.06304860765579515,0.0,0.0,0.10121791080566248,0.0,0.13304651447661245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385387850713907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047507829980527,0.1768696555083837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133805513349148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871127754208498,0.0,0.0930733292009924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34737771466928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177367146829087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246680465121813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956163980683744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290283803433816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963725878449788,0.0,0.1382347798676344,0.0,0.0,0.13200074966958525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422594368891537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255307123097668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Castubro,2019/04/12,I tend to feel like I’m elsewhere I feel like I’m not where I am not like lost but like I’m not there I’ve felt like this for a month now sometimes while talking to someone in person it feels almost as if I’m not present. I’ve talked to a few friends about this and they’ve told me that sometime while talking to me I get a very far away look almost like I’m staring at something that right behind them. How would one describe these feelings,1.3491461988304074,3.2444789789473703,2.065614035087723,99.0537426900585,80.26315789473685,4.2222222222222205,23.18713450292397,3.1291,-0.2599005847953215,353,12,81,0,9,109,59,95,0.0,0.777,0.223,0.9561,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,1,5,8,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,16,17,7,0,2,6,0,5,6,1,1,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,7,7,7,11,13,1,11,0,1,2,0,7,6,0,3,11,44,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32056400054270284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038635914160065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32373474236289834,0.22870097037059164,0.1536875246646007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236658405457912,0.0,0.08362736864159154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4691981134130999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441430682080208,0.0,0.1747298820243571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776237511129426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084642028320286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397626050309127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13669465598393454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562257547239506,0.12322587560636727,0.31661680333448583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385962609600596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15294898994440473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207040823147084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137056006165746,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tired_want-2-die,2019/04/12,"Help Please - Possible ASD I am a Male, 31 years old.  I suspect I am on ASD, I gave RAADS and AQ tests and scored high on them.

​

I was a good student but was considered lazy and had concentration span of 5-10 mins maximum but could focus for hours on topics of my interest. I was relegated from university due to my poor attendance, I than reapplied and graduated at the age of 27 with a poor GPA. I was offered a job at a prestigious organization after I cleared the test and got highest marks in my country (Pakistan) but i reapplied for MS and now stuck again with danger of being relegated as well after my 4 years will be completed (maximum time allowed for MS).

 

I am experiencing suicidal thoughts for 6 months now with episodes of severe and sudden anger towards my parents. My mother blames me for our financial problems and I blame her for not getting me treated when I was younger. I am now having nightmares where I scream and swear to her and sometimes I get strange pleasure when I imagine inflicting pain on her. She recently burned away some of my belongings. Father has never shown interest in our lives and now after his retirement he has 0 savings and wants to be involved in family too, I haven't spoken to him in 20 years.

​

I am always tired, have stomach issues and is dizzy.

​

I do not have a job now, living with parents and just tired of everything. 

​

Is there something you suggest?",7.607798277982781,7.534617774907751,7.697328413284133,72.05526691266913,63.132841328413285,10.769102091020914,38.730873308733095,10.355215969177356,4.102130430504305,1151,56,202,24,15,373,161,271,0.221,0.7040000000000001,0.075,-0.9932,5,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,2,1,1,0,13,12,2,0,8,0,25,4,1,1,2,35,32,20,1,3,6,4,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,18,0,0,3,0,2,1,4,5,1,0,10,2,39,7,39,17,1,40,0,0,0,0,21,15,0,1,24,145,39,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785865899074347,0.4093285561290173,0.4590486301138626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873507176922092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902477360130364,0.0,0.0,0.07540739979713504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488192303744091,0.0,0.08903522893492259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986882134874422,0.0,0.0,0.07921677545105912,0.07553704786520186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330512429442428,0.09978732349107618,0.0,0.0,0.09301022848764848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857702594400436,0.18744604898660197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679499477671322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538585008386389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728425331160367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991051289353047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049714155038206,0.0,0.20974208401993466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367328307064616,0.0,0.10647360918933417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037201158619654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325397398635037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669703184002988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727091006004104,0.09340945191968253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330853168886013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497952847888728,0.0550721884742849,0.2171034342486866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570666378359128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849182446371084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590486301138626,0.18246027094462927
mentalhealth,22022004,2019/04/12,"Is this maybe a sign of ptsd or am I just crazy? as a young kid (I’m 15 now) I witnessed a lot of physical and emotional violence by my parents towards each other, I kinda have anxiety about it now and I get flashbacks whenever I try to sleep and I’m easily triggered into having these flashbacks. But what I’m focused on is the fact that lately, I’ve been hearing kinda subconsciously hearing my parents scream at each other and when I freak out and go to them, there’s nothing happening and it’s pretty much just my imagination. What I’m wondering, is that a sign of ptsd or am I just insane? Thanks any help is appreciated",3.5846400000000003,5.257539984000001,5.427400000000002,78.41470000000002,73.16,8.520000000000001,29.3,9.120678840339163,2.6377200000000003,498,21,94,11,10,171,78,125,0.125,0.727,0.147,0.4288,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,0,8,3,0,0,5,0,9,1,1,1,1,25,20,11,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,10,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,3,11,1,13,19,4,11,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,6,5,68,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714668679208366,0.0,0.14303229793186648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21031720158936265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768462693279877,0.0,0.10625992410651147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533783168533034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214597956420521,0.0,0.12532271547143115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21091142405944568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895605215704958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783749314234974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374451930602471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17940371048050052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152183225447112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19021671723146047,0.0,0.0,0.4371181708158104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18710602127915105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17213777006821052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269410311921549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20276206632935093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bjoerkismylove,2019/04/12,"Have you ever tried meds against a servere anxiety and did it work? I have had invalidating struggles with different types of anxiety almost my whole life, but I never considered medication of anything, because I seriously can’t picture a life without being freakishly anxious about absolutely everything. 

Have you ever tried meds against a servere anxiety and did it work?",12.301397849462367,11.977135806451617,11.882903225806455,46.67768817204305,53.838709677419345,15.363440860215054,54.53763440860215,14.06817628641468,8.402402150537634,308,21,38,11,3,102,42,62,0.146,0.7879999999999999,0.066,-0.4427,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,2,3,2,0,1,3,0,8,3,0,0,3,9,8,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,6,0,7,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,33,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18423978322399265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4222563998504854,0.2078567529900614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514084016422807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215882487288034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223078153668732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328596556996045,0.0,0.0,0.16535868529658074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599156862313637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087436579638114,0.1853509460595136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190471985922645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923466885601232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24983477438100815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20541868303035413,0.0,0.1773601558036528,0.0,0.26789436865298616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Just_One_Post_2002,2019/04/12,"I don't really know what's going on inside my head. As my username implies, I only plan on making one post on this account with this being it. The only reason I installed Reddit is to have a corner of the internet to scream into.
With that out of the way, strap in because this is going to be a long one. (Also I don't know shit about how Reddit works so apologies if I do something wrong.)

I am currently 16 and attending college in the UK and for a little over a year now I've been suffering from suicidal thoughts. I've told 3 of my close friends (one of whom has been diagnosed with depression) but no professionals and nobody in my family. This all culminated in a plan to kill myself about 3 weeks ago but at the last moment I changed my mind.

My main view on death is something like, ""well, I'm not happy being alive, so why not?"" A common response to someone with my way of thinking is would be along the lines of, ""but your friends and family will be devestated, think of your perents."" But recently, I've adopted the somewhat nihilistic train of thought that, ""I won't care about that when I'm dead.""

To this day I don't know why that plan failed since planning out my death seems to be all I think about but it has left me with the knowledge that given another opportunity, I probably wouldn't again. This is confusing to say the least as now I'm questioning everything I thought I wanted.

It has gotten to the point where my school work is of significantly lower quality than it was at secondary school (ages 11 to 16) if it even gets done at all. I've found that I get no work done at home and can only get anything done in the library in my college. Until recently I thought that college didn't matter since I'd be dead before I finished but now I'm really struggling to keep on top of work that I have fallen months behind on.

I think that these thoughts are something that I'll have to deal with for the foreseeable future and a large part of me doubts therapy or medication can make any difference. I have therefore stayed away from treatments as I just think death is easier. Now, however, I don't think I will die anytime soon and have no idea what I should do. Obviously therapy is a good idea and nothing I can think of is a valid reason not to try but the idea of my parents knowing makes me feel physically ill, and it's not like I can sneak out for councilling without them knowing.

When I have told people this I feel guilty as I'm worried I'm making it up, especially since my failed plan 3 weeks ago. I know a lot of people my age actually have a diagnosis or at least a reason to be sad, whereas my life is comparatively quite pleasant. Maybe a reason I don't want to see a councilor is that I'm afraid they will tell me I have just been whiny and perfectly healthy the whole time.

This, entire post feels almost like speculation as I really don't know what I think. It's best to take what you have just read with a grain of salt as I probably have unknowingly lied at numerous points. I'm sure that there are important details I have forgotten but I don't expect anything to come from this anyway. Like I said before, I just needed a corner of the internet to vent into.

I don't expect anyone to read this but if you have then thank you, it honestly means a lot to me.",5.184348979441452,5.513113259818734,6.0720278535111625,80.28755102792722,68.21450151057401,9.358838700169477,29.892565028369322,9.310311815833133,2.407417537395917,2606,91,527,48,41,862,282,662,0.146,0.752,0.102,-0.9833,5,0,3,0,0,2,58.0,0,5,2,16,25,30,2,4,32,0,66,6,2,10,6,113,123,38,8,11,23,1,3,4,2,7,4,3,1,0,37,25,0,1,35,2,1,5,19,13,1,3,19,9,65,17,90,89,12,74,0,5,2,0,19,35,1,14,33,358,102,14,0.0,0.0,0.0600826966030889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915483246538646,0.0,0.0616527000300711,0.0,0.0,0.04923689884657382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041869194382640834,0.06456071628119614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04305064404428401,0.0,0.10133247667942803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05784632755440387,0.0,0.0,0.03753203713448832,0.0,0.1047817766106925,0.0,0.06461311867987488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277394337998506,0.0,0.06513209194879081,0.05303644839926625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03970706619331713,0.06347518276703291,0.05302949604607805,0.06249148240370717,0.06389915041272651,0.06432675127618229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890201261844202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040665902233456716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05533446275043924,0.0,0.11608399957675695,0.0,0.09339377281801174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750749355768602,0.09513648392493927,0.0,0.09650215990134048,0.0,0.06998243571655846,0.0516413572354274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554160067290203,0.0,0.0,0.06318780279025914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175896759704962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085125325985641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054725569295343765,0.06811724162854133,0.0,0.2368579082454905,0.05018714799727842,0.0,0.0,0.06689515922293297,0.0,0.04348817490967813,0.12031848239128635,0.061708553127918724,0.0,0.05448683977731885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046879319308394,0.0,0.0,0.16439178271427898,0.0,0.06185457687612093,0.06706695181449046,0.0,0.062024531714760224,0.0,0.0,0.062167380809547264,0.0,0.04914397982637325,0.0,0.0,0.045652811191898124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059077346147117814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251627309969208,0.14047854391755069,0.0,0.0,0.0683653546013634,0.06667348685574698,0.0,0.0853687172137631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640566515009645,0.0,0.1179326248918936,0.0,0.13276410802041194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897163939050796,0.06548646526524292,0.12317180267858865,0.0,0.11832849481406048,0.25321373154483523,0.12158439312460012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058566446291047035,0.04896233072003597,0.0,0.12462271546275094,0.04906271274703754,0.05605032356102317,0.0,0.0,0.06319993991030233,0.15279213427554836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05216741710703353,0.14219702646286725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562461760925391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643655375840156,0.0,0.06734675528048863,0.0,0.05802827989642721,0.0,0.046292405964665065,0.0,0.053814229384288204,0.05668468394592077,0.14081958311291154,0.0,0.0,0.3156086626017689,0.0,0.2443954953653917,0.035901518870764766,0.0,0.0,0.11766409429606052,0.0,0.04180147233256985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263026570980732,0.097741593527439,0.0987742607824058,0.0,0.055358140774356655,0.0,0.11111332492532068,0.06873985750431251,0.0,0.059350550091318725,0.0,0.17929255952529788,0.06252655168796065,0.0,0.043737021466444384,0.06731629845137685,0.0,0.03964857182279437
mentalhealth,spetterineensweater,2019/04/12,"Does anyone else have trouble walking/anxiety in moving around? Sorry if this sounds really strange, I don't know how else to explain it - since a couple of days or so I feel really nervous when walking around, as if I don't recognise the strength of my body and my legs in keeping me on my feet. Every step I take feels insecure and wobbly. I feel like it's really just in my head, because I haven't actually struggled with walking or losing my balance, but I'm getting really scared this is some kind of neurological stuff. Anyone with experience?",5.762285714285714,6.810087704761906,6.780000000000001,73.17000000000003,67.19047619047619,9.428571428571429,33.09523809523809,9.606745405546679,3.2716666666666665,439,19,76,9,7,147,72,105,0.162,0.805,0.032,-0.8826,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,6,9,0,4,2,0,5,5,4,1,0,20,14,11,0,2,6,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,6,0,1,5,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,0,4,12,3,13,14,1,12,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,5,3,49,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.1591630174747099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247717943314864,0.0,0.0,0.2280879786599199,0.16711621641606747,0.0,0.29038888242153965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942483643437056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811684073130152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804681192069244,0.0,0.10518663155460778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273075648761868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724998607306153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13741960028970845,0.0,0.0,0.15954404363093855,0.0,0.0,0.24740625064251984,0.11651936435100947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521352419866064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738864811832516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14497163467227672,0.0,0.16984455984344193,0.08963602672530539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968289456897627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824682639288612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335051738115267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179466269578893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632925224740078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491880642635842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18257818075202276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050854509627794,0.1867115871521379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263163000446207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,learner211,2019/04/12,"A long time alone in foreign country I left my university one year ago, then moved to another city and now still try to find an internship in a foreigner country. All day I always come to bibliothèque everyday to learn this new language and learn everything to get internship, to get my degree, because this country will give me a lot opportunities than my country. All week I just study alone at bibliothèque, before I still worked part-time but I lost it recently. I feel like I don’t want to continue like this anymore, but other side, I still have hope for it, I want to try it till September of this year. How can I still keep my mental strong and a strong motivation too when I live in this such a loneliness situation for so a longtime, in a foreign country like this? Life is so hard to me, I know it’s my mistakes in the past for not prepared well enough but I cannot comeback to fix it. Can anyone can give me some advices?",4.602887767969733,5.80955336612022,5.4398907103825165,81.13380832282473,69.98360655737704,9.128036990332072,31.01681378730559,9.466822959209583,2.7587161832702822,738,31,146,16,13,241,104,183,0.102,0.738,0.16,0.9223,0,2,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,6,13,10,0,0,9,0,8,1,0,2,2,25,20,12,0,4,5,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,4,0,1,6,0,0,2,3,2,1,1,1,2,21,8,22,18,5,30,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,3,23,99,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314483386174032,0.11924109812732787,0.0,0.0,0.278637839704205,0.0,0.0,0.1119288203561427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105267776757113,0.0,0.0,0.13340459952213785,0.09405733039912753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200024170787297,0.0,0.11446395752339535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587438146464618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675225950819965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899189600831074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089509834098087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801577647424394,0.09609888618461457,0.0,0.0,0.1229459916417314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055903598458042,0.258081697844601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050070296659035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360561406987215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11956478391351565,0.0,0.0,0.07392695950835372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146152984068285,0.0,0.09501325071297599,0.19715445905567247,0.0,0.11878086979379347,0.11904320609159512,0.0,0.0,0.14684106515596146,0.11436144128635532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355613766634876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14297015549854494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991724124926002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115211943499812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456686728217605,0.12841158317608192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281919108729698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120260952588366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4297014175723648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784378746758002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826562636466081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868308246019844,0.0,0.10790132746659632,0.0,0.12094683024344692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792989096765467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324892124512836
mentalhealth,mentalimaginationdre,2019/04/12,"I am filled with absolute rage every morning. Without fail, I wake up and I am just filled with rage, to a point where I feel it would be amazing to just beat someone.  

I would never do that because I myself wouldn't want to get beaten, but if there was anyway that I would be able to beat someone with zero ramifications, I think I would just love to experience that.  To feel what it feel like to slowly watch someone die by your own hands.  The rawness and the power you would have over someone.  

​

But I don't.  It is nothing more than a fantasy in my head.  Something that I think about to stave off the need for it.",3.9776444444444436,5.117927760000004,4.55306666666667,87.15697777777781,71.4,6.835555555555558,26.68888888888889,6.937597516519254,1.0844222222222224,490,16,101,4,9,156,75,125,0.102,0.7929999999999999,0.105,0.343,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,5,7,7,3,0,5,0,15,4,3,0,1,26,24,5,1,9,7,0,4,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,5,1,0,2,4,4,0,1,1,5,15,3,20,15,2,9,0,1,1,1,3,6,0,1,2,79,24,2,0.1507444511725893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333154986513404,0.1831710079771019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189241827540012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644894083762131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700870166777387,0.0,0.0,0.14745699883912214,0.0,0.0,0.2286627716304861,0.10769186603786336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875775398990051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547072966782928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364612444658462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605275263957936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177510046846977,0.1162634138449371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446433665004301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250223127070155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5109011371772045,0.1160504432202072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19318191503447127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891298295564865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453122716020914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5354226652170574,0.0,0.1831710079771019,0.0
mentalhealth,ipxsetup,2019/04/12,"i have no desire to eat but the idea is always nagging at me i dont wanna eat. i know it will jsut make me feel bad and i have no want to eat anything anyway. but it keeps nagging at me that i do want to eat because of the pains in my stomach and its making me feel worse because (even though im not eating) its making me feel like i want to eat (even when i dont) and in turn it makes me feel like im faking everything and im so useless i cant keep up with an eating disorder which i probably dont have anyway.

how do i make the nagging part go away so i dont have to feel so guilty and shitty about not eating?

(what was the point in even posting this, it wont be seen, and if it does nobody would be able to make sense of it because i cant form a fucking sentence correctly)",2.774608150470222,2.6716685402298883,4.617021943573668,90.13471786833857,73.36781609195401,7.246812957157784,25.013584117032394,6.574015621080383,0.6822712643678166,602,16,145,4,11,207,86,174,0.265,0.67,0.065,-0.9923,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,12,10,4,0,6,0,19,11,1,7,1,35,40,15,0,7,5,0,5,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,12,7,8,2,7,0,0,1,11,8,0,0,2,6,19,2,18,33,2,11,0,1,1,1,0,8,1,1,3,100,31,0,0.07979879831659986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639899274786171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566761171629487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07497359783425445,0.0,0.06662866339632842,0.14593382036439434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145633631448956,0.0,0.06983246616146882,0.0,0.37409438926646654,0.0,0.0,0.6532327397577685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581190610631693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171801447074105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017433505724273,0.11401655492386555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377270318299146,0.0,0.0,0.045351496047352564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900831301563267,0.2585891871734101,0.0,0.0,0.1418576769541998,0.0,0.0,0.043855332635936745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797132412898851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195979051449269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491154764247326,0.0,0.0,0.08641432224074984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543565766023981,0.0,0.07642519036206025,0.0,0.08603660130528104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840191418543042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679817776668003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412021962881093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132179288668134,0.0566867767847384,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Every_Check,2019/04/12,"Are monsters real? I was just asleep and woke up to a giant snake crawling on my bed and licking me from head to toe. I could not move a muscle while this was happening.

I was trying to think about whether what I was experiencing was psychosis, but my thoughts were jumbled and made no logical sense. It was just random words strung together. Eventually I was able to get out of bed and think clearly, but I'm still terrified by what happened.

I've been socially isolated for the past three years due to guilt and shame, and I'm worried that I'm developing schizophrenia from it. I can only be successful socially when I'm anonymously talking to people online. In real life, I'm fat and awkward, and I never have the right things to say.

I saw a doctor a month ago and got on Sertraline, but I haven't seen any positive effects from it in my life. I'm still depressed and anxious.",5.556786469344609,6.236612395348836,6.218646934460889,78.32804439746302,67.48837209302326,9.510359408033828,33.07822410147992,9.573946990214177,3.0480627906976743,700,30,133,14,11,229,108,172,0.185,0.767,0.048,-0.9745,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,6,5,0,3,6,0,15,7,4,2,2,31,32,16,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,0,8,11,1,0,5,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,15,5,13,1,20,15,0,19,0,1,2,0,4,8,0,1,10,86,21,2,0.1648753860153478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615208169106506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212091630833217,0.0,0.0,0.18626225628454188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163957970099185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420069283807493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875694395500904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614058421241455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186590784962549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915975186880958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920971260176385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329127221741681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600907676777873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316019601145146,0.17523644258538387,0.0,0.0,0.12716206194017268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539516063410994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739221199044395,0.11430383291590684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753285702022653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080267879330302,0.0,0.13111552457283698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361393855913777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633393925001505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325205899105149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095358803093994,0.21129097996466886,0.0,0.13089263973685336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193956439984196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743895774027695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617434294201564
mentalhealth,lolafitouss22,2019/04/12,"Does social media and internet impact mental health in teenagers and young adults? [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeSRkkca6NCPyNkzxg2feGf0\_Wyfm6fOuDIlF8WwUxZcNfdKA/viewform?usp=sf\_link](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeSRkkca6NCPyNkzxg2feGf0_Wyfm6fOuDIlF8WwUxZcNfdKA/viewform?usp=sf_link)

​

Please take two minutes to reply to this survey for a research on how social media impacts mental health.",41.235,50.077054264705886,19.845882352941178,-16.943529411764672,-8.35294117647058,9.15294117647059,37.588235294117645,8.841846274778883,3.948576470588237,391,7,19,2,2,83,28,34,0.0,0.918,0.08199999999999999,0.4291,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,11,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24015230326528095,0.2693229782821915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939630641275244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711966161051132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44673212845079024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432996901261066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4518784023676473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664948256391862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21651499331307592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693229782821915,0.0
mentalhealth,Savann_aaahhh,2019/04/12,"How to tell my father I am on Academic Warning? Hello, I can't sleep because my neighbors woke me up puking in our shared bathroom, and then I started stressing about life. 

I am on academic warning. I failed 3 of my 5 classes last semester, but got a C+ and C in the others.  I was completely unprepared for College life. I had gotten decent grades (a 3.0) in high school, but I still struggled with depression, and my senior year I had a very bad depressive episode lasting several months and nearly admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital.

After that happened, I was very nervous about going to college because I felt like I wouldn't be able to handle it, but I had already accepted at a school, and my dad was /so/ proud of me. I didn't want to disappoint him. 

I had, and still have, no clue why I am at College. I don't know what I want to do with my life. School makes me miserable, because I don't ever quite see how writing a paper I will forget about in two days will help me with my life. I don't understand how the mind numbing routine of waking up, going to class, going to sleep, and then starting all over again fills my life with any meaning.

My anti depressanta stopped working last semester, and I had to see a therapist, who raised my dose. It's working slightly better, but I need to finish out my currently prescribed meds before i can raise it again. At least I'm not suicidal like I was at several points last semester - and my grades are better. I'm only taking four of them, but I have an A, two Bs, but I'm struggling on my last class, and can't drop it because I can't live on campus if I dip below 12 credits. Even though my grades are better this semester, I don't think it is enough. But, I'm just happy to not want to kill myself anymore, to be honest. 

I wanted to tell my father about my academic warning but he was so proud of me... I didn't want to make him angry, since he is helping me to pay for school. I didn't want to make him think I was a piece of shit for not being able to function in a college environment, especially because I also can't really function having a job either. It just makes me miserable knowing my mental illness is keeping me from functioning in society like a normal person. How should I tell him? Not sharing something like this with him is absolutely killing me, because I know he loves me so much, but I also don't want him to hate me. 

(Sidenote: I am working with my therapist to retroactively withdraw from classes due to my mental health last semester, but I am not sure if it will work yet. And I am also not sure if I will be able to continue going like this. I don't want to think about what four years of being confused and miserable going to college   will do to me.)

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you for reading my anxious rambling at 3am.",5.094959328927299,5.447018699288257,6.251645144890697,78.84091459074735,68.41281138790036,9.056309100152514,32.249313675648196,9.002800196639251,2.7109464565327905,2207,91,425,37,35,742,234,562,0.179,0.6809999999999999,0.141,-0.9401,2,0,1,0,0,1,70.0,1,1,1,11,25,38,4,8,15,0,55,14,4,8,4,82,100,38,3,15,22,3,1,5,1,7,9,0,1,1,15,19,0,2,11,1,2,6,21,18,0,4,18,3,85,20,71,70,6,57,0,7,2,1,29,23,1,4,32,305,100,31,0.1909127101764134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218589694790565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022564100831576,0.1526728253532154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655145973049795,0.0,0.0,0.0718923404522925,0.063111369573156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313471285602458,0.232757232271661,0.0,0.05415088499153473,0.0,0.0,0.16884677779420634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672278145121932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04104096808311145,0.0,0.10962189168520683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575462126550216,0.0,0.04203201484362303,0.05756382543783178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611020469600917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808334879639804,0.0,0.05089677817868606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056274493036698216,0.06774337666340427,0.0,0.06282892550624658,0.0,0.06764376114557452,0.0,0.0,0.08530984357602288,0.06723658671217149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315046884521708,0.05656399623798741,0.14081108515929924,0.0,0.10492063271425388,0.3112386791475452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247454885953344,0.15545051136453247,0.0,0.05619314025625501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057435391554689415,0.0,0.16991428867232786,0.0,0.0,0.0693199697869729,0.07068699427209561,0.0,0.12826340580611592,0.0,0.06425580472738822,0.0,0.05079490128310496,0.0,0.04678093622587877,0.0471864518498812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06235130712214802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04839923964845419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555658715598441,0.0,0.0,0.060158073186007924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768638906087103,0.06365479128903825,0.0,0.04076785691278138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25761847338891325,0.10142180830579356,0.0,0.0,0.143784680904585,0.06532305116890819,0.052641655565146835,0.0,0.12736705670166482,0.0,0.0,0.04899131048164333,0.0,0.0,0.09008599925679467,0.0,0.10164209130592332,0.0532038580709203,0.07289662149345492,0.13305561084653952,0.0,0.06960917284875709,0.0,0.11995531332143344,0.0,0.047847532890909365,0.0,0.16686612351250912,0.0585889245329673,0.0,0.1477762474071115,0.0,0.122329155963675,0.06252358947718416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432931809372935,0.06624895473066303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501531992800124,0.30028070090615666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0574230087872367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853156356904442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196101735635775
mentalhealth,jokalasiy,2019/04/12,"Excessive need to care for someone? Is there a term for it? It’s like I need to be a mother to everyone and I feel an extreme guilt saying no to anyone and it’s gotten to the point where it literally depresses me and I know people take advantage of it. Usually my thought process is “I’ve been here before and I know it sucks to go through alone” i.e. homelessness, abusive relationships, etc. There are times when I’ve given my last dollar to people and let people stay at my house when I really just wanted a day to myself and get woken out of my sleep because someone has an issue. It’s like if I help them I’m miserable and if I don’t help them I feel so bad I make myself miserable. What is this and how can I get over this? I love making sure people I care about are good but I’m it’s making my life difficult",1.3101135190918498,3.367385666666672,3.514227726178192,87.78318885448917,81.2222222222222,6.8305469556243565,21.169934640522875,7.928766900206844,1.0051393876848986,643,19,136,12,17,220,99,171,0.13,0.754,0.116,-0.5164,0,1,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,1,10,15,1,3,6,0,11,3,1,4,1,26,35,15,0,5,4,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,11,9,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,7,0,0,5,3,22,8,17,28,2,14,0,3,0,1,8,5,1,2,9,89,33,0,0.0,0.1663042300147119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453711382515655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814331890844326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719514719176613,0.08556245258455537,0.0,0.1194364398720517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862137503887323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09052090501412152,0.0,0.12089228529660727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653905017652225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341204642454666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419409633037817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666512684933686,0.0,0.0797701016906361,0.1177277205611126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816135700006806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195716154825798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649988588908322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15427691030931562,0.11441253389694915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352811184547315,0.0991407658040226,0.13714609212072618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668082324087213,0.0,0.2810751531427523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081510512718241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892331659287912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326860325924931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991852472285551,0.0,0.0,0.15069463897456356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116202961659334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404618577499397,0.0,0.23785397721338644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960560793572591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322881017465201,0.0,0.10553362121495306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143055150004096,0.0818453310990312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15458725094590894,0.0,0.08278825425503739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MagicJT,2019/04/12,"confidentiality question probably not the right sub but fuck it you guys probably know the answer to my question

15m in high school. i want to go to the school counselor after i've started having suicidal thoughts but i need to know if they would have to contact my parents about it or if i can just do it myself. 

please tell me if you have an answer or direct me where to post this if you know somewhere better. 

thanks all",3.5782142857142856,5.462988011904763,4.401904761904763,84.87642857142858,73.64285714285714,6.704761904761906,26.285714285714285,7.447530270364453,1.3363999999999998,339,12,66,4,7,109,56,84,0.114,0.76,0.126,-0.2263,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,3,1,1,3,3,1,0,4,0,6,1,0,0,1,22,16,8,1,7,10,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,12,2,9,14,1,8,0,0,0,1,10,4,1,8,2,47,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16155989276766286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887873522569252,0.0,0.0,0.1038175769982586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808755149157194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19300461426374035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3011777848273247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545010808991956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028373374738359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20052068046794574,0.0,0.0,0.1749507464259921,0.0,0.3939059241332751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4092723215362998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600219678844554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697507303314672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12929726498128272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998151930645275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15966471716797906,0.16818124376271665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14502237824866526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774558109511187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976603478500295,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NeonBird,2019/04/12,"Just feeling like trash... Today, I was reminded of why I hate group work. Before I get into this, let me clarify that I'm an adult in a professional work environment. 

So for the past several months, we have been working in small groups to present research data to our administration. I offered to do research and share it with the group. They completely ignored it. When it came time to present our research, I was asked to join the group, but I wasn't given an opportunity to fully participate. I was the only one in my group that didn't speak. I literally stood up there and watched the rest of the group present their findings and it was extremely awkward. 

This has been a regular thing for as far back as I can remember. I don't know if I'm just a shitty group member, or what, but I hate group work because I always seem to be the odd one out. 

This brought back some childhood memories of exclusion along with some more recent ones. Ever since today, my brain has been ruminating on these thoughts. 

Then I think about how weird and just over all unattractive I am. I'm fat, I'm boring, I'm ugly, I'm weird, and everything else in between. I'm too ugly and dumb to ever be promoted at my current job. I'm to weird to ever get a job anywhere else. I'm stuck or so it seems.

The few friends I did have have started to distance themselves from me even though I generally keep up a happy appearance and try not to be needy. I feel like everyone has realized that I'm the idiot and that those who are still nice to me, are only nice because they feel sorry for me. Everyone else would probably prefer if I just disappeared. 

The few times I thought I found a friend, they ended up ghosting me. 

I'm just tired of feeling like trash and being hopelessly lonely. The sad part is, I know if I had money, I probably wouldn't have a shortage of friends, which means I'm pretty unlikable as a person. 

In short, I probably am trash and no one cares.",4.6964903846153865,5.592797687500003,5.626770833333335,81.02704326923079,69.52083333333334,8.928525641025642,30.39423076923077,9.162432508145574,2.493556009615385,1528,60,304,29,26,503,194,384,0.188,0.682,0.131,-0.9762,3,3,0,0,0,1,45.0,3,0,4,6,20,25,4,1,21,0,33,3,2,1,4,60,72,26,1,6,13,0,4,3,3,2,2,1,0,2,18,17,1,2,17,0,1,4,6,13,0,4,19,6,39,12,43,46,8,42,0,3,1,0,25,16,1,10,25,205,57,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655531230378584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860120102380273,0.0,0.0,0.1414919287095047,0.0,0.11217046857025376,0.0,0.07828925550942703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270771532376664,0.0,0.10522890985026093,0.09380496211415544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646521725638968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305744582516259,0.0,0.081488889353119,0.0,0.0,0.06076826168552653,0.2496706584854694,0.0,0.17582893973740027,0.08268792595188615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18608143972222166,0.1971846094821831,0.0,0.0,0.0840906636618086,0.0,0.0,0.10087844628890093,0.2132478968916819,0.0,0.09613735642598582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794075434781364,0.0,0.18167126181262747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18260101166347306,0.08177803843468741,0.0,0.0,0.10112679566931138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408107804530493,0.0,0.13484660284157676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022013171911176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343730403945924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493791660912579,0.1399474981763333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963216538211167,0.08782893290743966,0.0,0.08033498837244665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360189477532738,0.29759000595807433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084357917175356,0.0,0.10422343282310728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16751531591065658,0.0,0.10393916575361817,0.0,0.07610726996656288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299177157398423,0.06512142705276001,0.0,0.07347510255839693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112385969412314,0.0589529210771585,0.09039418788282046,0.1460829697751977,0.107297405139168,0.10574591180702357,0.17441946745232484,0.0,0.0,0.06246517770497222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301996556043051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267922179937209,0.0,0.0,0.06535752608070096,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheBigDrill,2019/04/12,"Breakup aftermath. It’s been about a little over 2 years since my ex girlfriend and I broke up, but i’m glad to say that I am doing way better than I previously was. I know it’s been a long time but I still tend to think about her every once in a while, I just want to ask how some of you guys who have gone through a breakup coped with the mental distress. It took me almost the entire 2 years just to start feeling better. When I was at the lowest of lows, it was bad I wouldn’t talk to anyone, I wouldn’t go outside often, and I would basically just lie down all day. If any of you are going through one now I encourage you to continue being strong, you have people who care about you who can help get your mind off of it.",3.5501948051948062,3.850124668831171,4.514701298701301,90.12348051948051,71.79220779220779,7.458701298701298,23.84155844155844,7.1686216300943375,0.6413735064935064,565,13,131,5,10,184,101,154,0.101,0.7090000000000001,0.19,0.9413,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,6,0,3,11,10,0,1,7,0,15,0,0,1,1,22,29,8,0,5,6,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,1,9,3,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,4,0,1,7,2,20,6,23,18,2,25,0,2,0,0,18,8,0,4,12,91,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19453450951312887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211105416249672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358389157213596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161731476093235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622083082108311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436341166406053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807240039242505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528882988668325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636818355082983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982293383088976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149866555835227,0.0,0.2208175603017312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192358996794341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302158669577558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676635175140774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471074437371527,0.0,0.17192386782462446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195779641432751,0.0,0.196158496344888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689245058860112,0.13164316930122938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13468316491284454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544922280223907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607031153772685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750613062050285,0.0,0.15514520346067212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614780370835235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448111831960205,0.0,0.0,0.11328107870205326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158424126748711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145861666137422,0.1542034083391143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800466182973326,0.0,0.0,0.250208521887325
mentalhealth,Flagguy3,2019/04/12,"I cant tell if im being bulled or targeted online. This is the third day in a row I have encountered a person online over a game of called OverWatch that I question their motives. I spend a lot of time thinking about what happened and very unsure if im being tragered.
Someone on my team speaking with an accent a lisp. Whispering and saying random stuff.  next day I was on the VR chat I said hello to someone who said hi to me I told him I recognize their character. He said OH YOU DO and In stressed out type of voice or maybe he was just playing the character I don't know. He followed me around ""what you doimg with that???""
 now today after playing a few games on my higher-level OverWatch account. I hopped onto my bronze account. And got into a game what's a teammate name is griefer.  and he was being obnoxious hevey on the lisp. Saying things I normally say like Reinhart  ""don't run in there!"". But this game I wasn't saying anything cuz I was sitting there behind my computer heart beating faster actually scared and maybe this guy has information on me by somehow hacking. And hearing me getting mad and asking other players if there making fun of my voice in previous games weeks ago. I just block him. he was also just annoying as hell constantly doing autistic call outs. He had a really bad attitude at the end of the game. he said ""just saying, you need more communication skills"". With my blood pressure Rising the next game I get into. There was two people odd sounding really autistic like. I'm just torn apart because I can't tell if that's the real voice or they're mocking me imitating me. Because like I guess somehow either they know im sensitive about my voice or play against me before or hacked my computer and listen and watch what I'm doing.  find me in game to make me feel terrible. One of the guy during the game with the lisp funny. Did even listen to my strategy plans when he was yelling and complaining. I was attempting to talk to prove that they weren't after me. The other guy copied what I said. I said ""no dude we need shiled tank"" he just keep going ""i going to block the shots GO Bastion"" using Divas defense Matrix has diva when he should stiwtch to a shield tank.
So just to be safe I ended up blocking them. Can you return feel like s*** somehow down the line all this video game shirt has started to affect me this emotional and uncertain scare. And I know probably tomorrow. After a couple hours of playing someone's going to peak my suspicions and I believe they're after me agin.
I use a double VPN Norton Security also frequently wipe the hard drives don't open any emails on the computer I'm still unsure that could these people be after me. I mean think about it. How is someone going to mimic my voice one game i mute and block them. The next game have two more people. I mean like seriously is there a team of people dedicated to hate me drive me nuts or do I just play in that rank a lot 15 hours aday. what's someone really go out of their way to have either multiple accounts or team up with people. Or maybe I've played with these people before like I said I play almost 13 hours a day or even more. This is probably one of the worst feelings of uncertainty. I believe in a way there passively making fun of me either if it's like play it against them before or somehow they have hacked me and no information about me that way.",2.815939510939512,5.069889530030032,4.035860145860145,84.95635135135137,77.12312312312312,6.691033891033891,24.235092235092235,7.737674255305718,1.3617020163020157,2681,91,508,41,63,875,290,666,0.133,0.7859999999999999,0.081,-0.9877,1,0,0,0,1,0,60.0,1,4,9,9,33,35,6,5,35,0,41,3,3,9,2,106,88,40,0,10,27,0,4,7,0,1,0,24,0,4,29,30,0,8,16,25,4,11,9,16,0,6,21,29,77,19,71,60,12,72,1,0,1,0,78,27,1,26,37,334,106,8,0.0,0.0,0.05827238204363733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293297787008129,0.0,0.05979508066868911,0.0,0.0,0.09550674461851534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040607659590284235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04913964525843224,0.053158240419705516,0.05582465555412283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049858808593257024,0.07280236508773631,0.0,0.15243699258886362,0.13455476349985626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219496168674344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452976626729688,0.0,0.04767687793779398,0.06607255476790369,0.0,0.1155320314433099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671703647464117,0.10577799930583807,0.0,0.0,0.07888124618479145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057978282998802,0.042659790086115146,0.0,0.0,0.05457763771881498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06239634201680164,0.0,0.20362151472791565,0.0,0.047758848873441166,0.0,0.06578185210425665,0.1773791461389446,0.052805012508525935,0.0,0.05349213604732762,0.05895534580988651,0.0,0.0,0.06730217021073327,0.07076153767091782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641918389316047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350453889302294,0.0,0.0,0.05307666702446027,0.0,0.0,0.09845198106477156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20421317111450454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015336446220449,0.0,0.0,0.11957894671128062,0.0,0.17997262466516262,0.13009239796455085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855454916461128,0.0,0.0,0.1905199805380159,0.0,0.05850717394043621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139153018479215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24838957563365546,0.05214007953570129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876387482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689349759532992,0.0,0.0,0.0679677588941942,0.11476321214415995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976127185217287,0.23743538512535514,0.1195685330103341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25297796468530626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042265972209611286,0.0,0.04768778547060303,0.0,0.06840234006694515,0.0,0.06835839827070417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047995959906277856,0.10438557226487592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0396714180277856,0.07652481331233309,0.0,0.0,0.034819792417181625,0.0,0.05660201793629704,0.05705941513355864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666406648629453,0.0,0.0,0.10314768035705726,0.0,0.049270415272943326,0.0,0.14219490306528665,0.04789907732016061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KatzuCat,2019/04/12,"I think I finally found my key to that elusive thing called happiness Everyone is different and everyone needs to find happiness their own way. I'm in my mid 30s and ever since I could remember, I've just always been a very worrisome and pessimistic person. I mean, I remember being pretty young and just feeling hopelessness for no reason at all. I had no real reason to be that way, I just was. No matter what, no matter how much I told myself that my life was great, I would just sometimes feel really down or stress over things that didn't matter or didn't even happen yet. Even though I had amazing family and friends and everything I could possibly need or want, I would just keep feeling this hopeless feeling. Maybe I should have gone to therapy or something, but I was just always afraid that in the end their solution would just be to simply prescribe me pills, so I never talked to anyone professionally. Well this year something just made me say to myself - ""You're going to stop living like this, you're going to figure it out. You only live once!""
Don't get me wrong, despite feeling down and hopeless a lot, I have lived a pretty fun and happy life. I laugh A LOT and have amazing times with family and friends, so I'm not just sitting around doing nothing and being all sad all the time, definitely very far from that! But my head would always get to me when I was alone, I just always think way too much. I would find myself worrying about dumb things that hadn't even happened, like what if someone I love gets into a car accident and dies tomorrow?! What if next week I get some illness that causes me to go blind or lose my legs?! (My thoughts weren't always that extreme though haha)
So this year I started looking into different ways people find happiness. I watched webinars and read a lot of different stuff. At first I thought - this is stupid and none of this is going to work for me. But luckily I just kept with it, no matter how corny or ridiculous things sounded. For example, someone posted on here recently about how they'll just smile sometimes and it makes them feel better, even if they don't feel like smiling. Well I thought it wouldn't work for me, but I tried it a few times and hey guess what, it actually did make me feel better sometimes! Also just seeing others out there posting about their happiness (or lack of it) made me feel like I wasn't as crazy as I thought and that I also wasn't alone in how I felt. I realized that some people are just naturally super happy and some people are just not (no matter how great life is), and it's okay to be one way or the other. But what isn't okay is just letting yourself be worried and negative your whole life, that's just no way to live. So I tried a lot of different things like spending more time with nature, working on relationships, deep breathing to relax myself, improving my financial literacy (so that money is one less thing to worry about), etc. But I think the one thing that really helped me so far is just accepting that life is going to go however it goes, there's going to be some really good times and some really bad times, and I'll have control in some aspects but not in others. However the one thing I have control over is my reaction. Bad times are inevitable, but why should I waste time worrying about them before they happen, or waste time feeling sorry for myself while they're happening?! So I've been working on telling myself to live for right now, be happy when you should be happy and be sad/angry/stressed/etc when you should be. I'll probably never be the kind of person that is just super happy all the time or the kind of person that can easily deal with bad times, but I definitely feel much stronger and happier because I feel like I finally found a logical way to think about this crazy thing we call life. And I hope you all out there are able to find what helps you! 

TLDR: I've always been so negative, but trying different things and gaining control of my reaction to the unhappy times has helped me feel much better and happier!",7.011906976744188,6.6896257184713415,7.0576655310324465,76.97821507924755,64.4267515923567,10.30869500814694,31.88638720189601,9.820803871038708,2.8793975707302617,3219,107,605,59,43,1033,288,785,0.13,0.639,0.231,0.9984,7,2,2,0,0,3,83.0,1,6,8,15,60,54,3,2,18,3,67,13,3,15,8,178,126,73,1,20,45,0,14,6,2,11,9,2,0,3,53,38,0,6,37,2,2,9,25,14,2,5,28,20,82,40,68,72,27,78,0,5,4,1,33,25,1,25,40,437,135,6,0.03792011641483184,0.0,0.0370045635783212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854760899403006,0.0,0.06064940679356061,0.1893154474459841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02651462708387296,0.0,0.0,0.033756943140742283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498513984619136,0.023115751004685815,0.0,0.032267226120477416,0.0,0.0,0.10061178427003303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744135716545025,0.0,0.0,0.03895440513483663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759190491653896,0.06055225473857539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039093974956967405,0.0,0.0,0.03935509402430655,0.19809225384068105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03358596785668808,0.0,0.08458190706524173,0.10018351703544404,0.03430091626485097,0.0,0.07246859253052075,0.03408015553042945,0.0,0.0714954219039342,0.0,0.24925615300758905,0.08127041623066017,0.03640925842658939,0.08307926802360242,0.13863319768929813,0.032254831650955516,0.0,0.08315490078186913,0.058593975754366485,0.0,0.07924678292664789,0.0,0.15085613219582247,0.03180559454102342,0.0,0.08361412443424601,0.0417732833826634,0.0,0.1341305348501127,0.3633000214075925,0.0,0.0,0.03891697939546801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625116413334,0.0,0.0,0.03766323175814237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033705141793606834,0.0,0.0789759318826345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038775888200656056,0.16070459792920852,0.11115512076733032,0.0,0.16742078761517334,0.0,0.03184334736309727,0.04242291067806827,0.0,0.12895330775877814,0.03422438556457648,0.07176186204354258,0.050623944322859805,0.0,0.03809585374876299,0.041306123438805936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150259483766804,0.05623457167509477,0.05849266296028612,0.0,0.04032847400151497,0.0,0.0,0.0363853744112264,0.0,0.0,0.04038368640307685,0.10278260905206564,0.0288399572793683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886710240234154,0.0993311490190705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042749233655534666,0.07263397887414433,0.07715678184363227,0.040884299090429496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03793037813687228,0.043161394250071455,0.09717039030166387,0.07797639052183528,0.037441540242715725,0.04071201382212149,0.08591219962618353,0.032383572226270384,0.0,0.03015559857510145,0.0,0.0,0.030217423248598368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031367912154019635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425918316571624,0.05838551645081426,0.11251189424740422,0.04244846576074729,0.026840053572186048,0.0,0.0,0.03170291527321385,0.043437365234490134,0.0,0.0434094609866163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030478753185761362,0.03314385314335035,0.0,0.04336495789127515,0.0,0.2519244038371418,0.09719071780572894,0.0745126436932504,0.1204173468610794,0.2653382979238411,0.0,0.0,0.036234296265260375,0.0,0.07723580971156799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257613471618825,0.02236626713780647,0.21069456361772373,0.03041723008181612,0.0,0.06818947735967701,0.0,0.03421700696757929,0.0423364557717321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042518550561747,0.15403887562206214,0.0,0.13468681359902826,0.04145969450001608,0.0,0.048838623422597836
mentalhealth,janethepremed,2019/04/12,"What are your healthy coping mechanisms? Hi all, I’d like to know what helps you when you’re stressed, having a bad day, or consumed by symptoms of mental illness. 

I used to have very bad coping mechanisms. I did hard drugs, had unprotected sex and would self harm. I’ve since become better at avoiding harmful coping mechanisms, but haven’t fully adopted positive ones. I’d like some ideas. 

What makes you feel better when you get overwhelmed? It can be general or personal to you. When you’re feeling bad or uncomfortable, how do you feel comfort again? 

Specifically, how do you cope after working long hours at a social job or with heavy family interaction (like a reunion?) What’s the first thing you think of to do to relax and feel better?",4.627608695652175,6.977920528985512,4.9703623188405786,79.91032608695654,71.97101449275362,7.7884057971014515,28.16666666666667,8.59863814320734,2.311205797101449,595,23,103,11,12,188,91,138,0.14300000000000002,0.643,0.215,0.9277,1,1,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,8,0,5,6,16,0,3,4,0,12,4,0,4,1,24,21,12,0,1,5,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,2,6,3,0,1,7,1,0,0,1,8,0,2,2,5,10,8,12,17,2,11,0,1,0,1,14,2,0,5,12,61,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903174576580928,0.0,0.1720944237384371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134387327356073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049303905109123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070538023882896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689619532552212,0.0,0.3151554608520807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254308945143434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141116307666367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958693315372314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044449709929674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345441186184255,0.0,0.0,0.17590536639039578,0.0,0.0,0.15463042974292324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563632660310415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283819564504347,0.0,0.0,0.13789858185075918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040131607782003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703308243603653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558979731363884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605876180267704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16255752635093754,0.0,0.0,0.1288985176399702,0.0,0.0,0.1588420753531718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784948887072891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195991361373893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352197510786386,0.09984518089704733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458116862470534,0.0,0.12857041560418506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344110704518827,0.0,0.0,0.11069229302429688,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Weler,2019/04/12,"How do I detach from my parents wants and expectations This is an issue I've been bringing up with my therapist and psychiatrist for a while, with still no clue on how to start. I also posted this on r/therapy to little help. 

Essentially, I feel like everything I'm doing is for my parents. I have no wants beyond ""my parents want me to get a job, so this should do,"" or ""they want me to have friends and possibly a relationship, so I'll try for that."" Things I once thought of as hobbies or passions are fueled by my parent's hopes that I'll be a well rounded and interesting individual. 

I thought I enjoyed literature and writing for a while, but I can only view it as an attempt to prove to them that reading to me was beneficial to my development.

When I try to ask myself what I want, the answer for the past year has only been ""sleep, and to be able to relax without them asking something of me."" No desire feels personal, even what I want to wear on a given day seems like complex equation that I couldn't possibly answer. 

I realize a lot of this is a symptom of the depression I've been diagnosed with.",7.2210201563142755,5.953267687782805,8.316947758124229,71.218292883587,64.42986425339366,11.294282188399837,36.83299053887289,10.436869588844218,3.731077828054298,873,37,169,18,11,301,123,221,0.051,0.79,0.16,0.9494,5,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,3,1,10,10,0,0,13,0,19,5,2,2,1,38,38,19,0,11,4,4,3,2,1,1,2,0,0,1,12,9,0,0,10,2,0,1,5,1,1,0,7,4,27,9,34,27,1,16,0,1,2,1,14,6,0,5,10,129,39,2,0.11400086798515145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116645294034643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21315084516028407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352112879392209,0.0,0.09818878054850272,0.1157084813055097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529649813640002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102456629326652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152845283922284,0.08144224286704269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807678781394797,0.0,0.059560748309933714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641237877528421,0.0,0.0,0.11322858465367905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898728782114912,0.11312827085276142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113901313825576,0.11425881882373555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691946125135774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140720381834658,0.0,0.17340559435712655,0.0,0.0,0.5063378912174519,0.0,0.10882672795891632,0.0,0.09954116070617096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570376994161774,0.10918131877924414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140317182390598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239426858220302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037821086405158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140831980486259,0.0,0.0,0.08776343775346082,0.0,0.0,0.08069040111913757,0.0,0.09104124043386644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849055198932106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303699278151816,0.13236379434689316,0.07573711111509875,0.0,0.0,0.18100791031937266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479821229681714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034439935897038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250047127250472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989276860722508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341282131716251
mentalhealth,xXCheshieXx,2019/04/12,"To others with social anxiety... What little things set it off? I'm just looking for people to relate to, tbh. A lot of my friends have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety which is pretty different from my own social one. So, while I can usually relate to them, I don't think they experience the anxieties I do.

Things like standing in line anywhere make me anxious. It feels like people are looking and judging me and it doesn't really help that I know they probably aren't. Another thing that makes me anxious is being the center of attention, even in a setting where I'm with people I love and care about. 

So, I guess I just wanna know what scenarios make you guys anxious?",4.77279069767442,6.564518410852719,5.814643410852714,76.35080232558141,70.31782945736434,9.191007751937986,29.95426356589148,9.642632912329526,3.061027286821706,541,22,94,13,10,179,82,129,0.08800000000000001,0.77,0.142,0.883,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,3,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,11,2,0,3,0,20,25,6,0,1,2,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,12,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,16,5,16,23,2,11,0,0,2,1,10,6,0,2,4,72,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127077960465906,0.30919248467137866,0.4566022866827714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736099025797413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674291343626,0.0,0.1407588209312987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898451012880923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317867806290476,0.0,0.0,0.06812094545107428,0.0962474784974348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040881051751652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484146401832998,0.13339880888176306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903032446579165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808253723132464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163953861844874,0.13502971947657402,0.0,0.0,0.22626992941078156,0.0,0.0,0.11453827196288932,0.12159446080719555,0.0,0.2697897031163751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129306284009953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802037972002163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706363359237972,0.14525620318298355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863082055400355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27467009002385584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685156639930216,0.08632626073558959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483804173793039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nhkboy93,2019/04/13,"Discord Server For Hikikomori I am just gonna leave this up temporarily. This Server is for Hikikomori Neet people those who are completely withdrawn from society have no friends do not leave their bedrooms in their parents house or single room apartments do not work  go to school or have a social life  and do not go outside unless it is absolutely necessary such as to buy food. Please read the rules and info before posting in the server and if you have any questions just message me (If you are not a hikikomori you will be kicked or banned)

​

[https://discord.gg/AKVfcsG](https://discord.gg/AKVfcsG)",8.100218446601943,10.729550514563108,6.157463592233013,73.84842839805826,63.271844660194176,7.480097087378643,32.29247572815534,8.07648339933343,2.542263106796116,505,20,75,6,8,146,73,103,0.069,0.88,0.051,0.0258,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,3,2,1,3,1,0,0,4,0,13,2,0,0,0,18,16,10,0,2,12,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,5,3,1,1,2,1,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,10,13,1,8,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,6,0,56,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177325525595672,0.24417995883033505,0.13665496926785234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17099625003176389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106954562539658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242993233356438,0.0,0.15525583282304958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22841250573717264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318728465132453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42556054261281495,0.0,0.0,0.14193908656291213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22313458784649007,0.0,0.0,0.13931554689907735,0.0,0.0,0.2205861107631836,0.0,0.0,0.19245747939397512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22511341333978568,0.0,0.20100743706555702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20337522136202585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20484633429762145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462962183363772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24417995883033505,0.0
mentalhealth,Sybil666,2019/04/13,"Looking for advice on Hospitalisation in Australia Hi, I really want to be admitted to a mental health facility. I haven't been to one before. But I've reached a point where I feel if I don't get intensive treatment soon, I may not make it to the end of the year. So I want to sign up for private health insurance this week. I am on welfare, and don't work much, but I have no faith in the public system in regards to mental health. I saw a psychiatrist this week, and didn't realise it was only a referral for one session - which I don't really see how that is useful at all. I also got an appointment with a psychologist, but felt like I ran out of time, and she didn't get the full picture. She then told me she would see me in a month. Which feels like a lifetime away. So, I'm looking for recommendations on private health insurance and private mental health facilities. I don't like the idea of not being allowed to smoke, so if you know of any places that won't try to get me to quit on arrival, I'd appreciate the information. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II, severe and lifelong anxiety and I show signs of personality disorder, ADHD and OCD. I really want to get a proper treatment plan, diagnosis, medication and I would like access to support groups during the day. I want to make the most of my time there and get the urgent help I have never received before. I live in Victoria, Australia, but I would be willing to trave for a good facility and program. I know mental health takes time, but I need to make a big change now. Please help.",5.408217703349282,5.759777672077927,6.7080792891319225,75.84170539986332,67.73376623376622,9.730963773069037,31.145591250854412,9.682069395223575,2.7950428571428563,1225,46,240,25,19,417,156,308,0.039,0.789,0.172,0.9889,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,3,9,7,0,0,20,0,24,9,0,6,2,50,55,23,0,10,9,0,3,4,0,6,9,0,0,1,8,13,0,0,8,1,0,2,12,0,0,2,10,8,31,7,40,36,4,34,1,0,5,0,14,18,0,4,17,160,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351553660104408,0.08416850311295661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688808009891744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857362493187214,0.0,0.06589176944818795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092510839574849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658625687420748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111765299258798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055548878755514335,0.0,0.0,0.0874235271474206,0.0,0.0,0.0987162700406866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762885736323794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710320958205894,0.0615336754047838,0.08270151404388007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250055759977481,0.0,0.0,0.07224455913904211,0.06888870053865931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5493342767402312,0.0,0.0,0.115466724563119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723405682951444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467326231670577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832159691329507,0.0,0.07605731737772575,0.0,0.14466062495961862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248402013522324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677027850198217,0.34720859232485746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875081033808796,0.0,0.06331791563050715,0.06386678032067626,0.06643134186634944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673236085163385,0.06550828649184334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520831029062447,0.08999100789718316,0.09454854211483574,0.08142384718624711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161340959908088,0.0,0.0,0.16553766978772705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727424073755964,0.0,0.0,0.09730615747531338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774309366224908,0.0,0.0,0.06476155235727339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067512990117882,0.0,0.0,0.08230409766498092,0.0,0.05847888401270795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439155079097996,0.0,0.0,0.20321470260494365,0.0,0.1381819399513043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627060974635343,0.0,0.0,0.18355996064315744,0.0,0.0,0.0554670470563344
mentalhealth,korenic,2019/04/13,"PTSD and marriage My husband and I have been together for almost six years and married for three. We were together for only six months when his mother died. 

At six months, we were starting to get comfortable and a routine with each other. Exchanged house keys and I love you’s. I was really starting to get to know him when she died and to this day I feel like I never got to know the true person my husband is. Of course he was consumed by her death. She was a single mom and his best friend. I didn’t get a chance to form a relationship with her and I’ll always feel that loss. 

I supported him through what I thought were the stages of grief after death but his anger and depression never seemed to subside. I never put a time limit on how long he “should be sad”. But his anger and depression got worse. In 2017 he was diagnosed with PTSD. We felt better that there was a reason for his emotions and our household seemed to feel lighter. He tried medication but he didn’t like the way he felt on them. I didn’t know how to handle that so I went along with him off of the meds. He tried medical cannabis for a year but gave that up too. He also isn’t seeing any professional to help him. 

In January of this year I found out I’m pregnant. He also found out his job will be absorbed this summer. The news was exciting but bittersweet for him. All good news has a twinge of heartache since he can’t share it with his mom. I understand that. The stress of his job stuff has overcome him and looking for work is crippling him. He’s indecisive, angry, so stressed he developed shingles (I’m fine, he’s not contagious), and completely unhappy. 

His moods are affecting me. They always affect me but I’m starting to feel hopeless. I go through waves of hardcore support when I try to make everything perfect to avoid him being triggered by anything. I will also back off and be there to listen when he’s triggered or down. I let him do nothing or I get him out of the house to do something. I’ve read about enabling a spouses’ PTSD and I don’t know if I’m fully doing that or not doing enough to help with enabling. I went into a panic when I found out about the shingles because while I believed him how stressed he was at work, I didn’t know he was internalizing that badly. I looked and found 8 potential jobs prospects. I found a counselor for him and made an appointment. I planned a weekend trip that we didn’t end up going on. It all felt like the right thing AND like the wrong thing at the same time. I feel joyless myself when I’m home. I’d rather be at work, honestly. I’d rather be around my parents who are states away because this feels like too much at times and I just want someone to baby me. Make me spaghetti and watch my favorite movie with me. I don’t need him to be sunny or constantly happy. I’m a realist and life is allowed to be shitty. I can get through my day coping with the daily annoyances without them making my week completely negative. I can understand him but I feel he’s changing who I am. I just want him to feel content and looking to our future with some positivity. We’re having our first baby. 

I’m tired of having the same fight about his moods and I’m worried to have that fight around the kid. We fought tonight and it made me sick. I screamed “should I get rid of it!!” in anger and I want punch myself for going there. I’m in love with my kid already and ended up in bed repeating to myself “you’re wanted. You’re wanted.”  I can see my priorities on happiness changing and I don’t want to be consumed by his mood swings anymore. My pregnancy is my happiness and I shouldn’t feel like I’m not allowed to see light in our future. I shouldn’t cry so often about how depressed our household feels. 

I needed to get all this out. I’ll take any advice. I don’t know how to TL;DR this so I’ll just say I’m married and pregnant to a PTSD spouse and it’s getting to me.",2.0211739273384843,4.187248611392409,3.1986404734506024,90.40364211737631,79.34177215189874,6.078579648199903,24.05720861417064,7.194767674117456,0.9443779385171784,3073,109,638,39,77,990,307,790,0.162,0.711,0.127,-0.9905,6,1,1,0,3,1,68.0,10,1,3,12,36,50,7,6,29,0,59,8,0,17,8,152,144,61,5,15,21,8,13,6,1,6,6,3,2,3,27,55,0,2,30,2,1,7,21,23,0,5,34,24,107,24,101,94,12,78,1,7,7,2,88,31,0,11,43,420,134,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225094390293704,0.0,0.0,0.053543176802111264,0.0,0.05900624110877091,0.12828148542613296,0.0889838026872776,0.0,0.0,0.07272381181353807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302856102513066,0.0,0.0,0.04400182564588466,0.09520050925432856,0.0,0.0,0.05023747771123716,0.04111566358767987,0.04464579650695722,0.0651904782452395,0.0,0.0,0.06024316223902682,0.05611419508837282,0.047290484111466906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131298098219382,0.0,0.11212601190189976,0.05778282503527125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05873504721240256,0.06896834897563081,0.0,0.13816269268679796,0.05427162945557471,0.11098827809275333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060147334450586176,0.09471832892052284,0.055249521125035984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048056012483662695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703638979732152,0.114598424688699,0.15402075638183266,0.0,0.0,0.04548214549938776,0.0,0.2931392835401828,0.041311325997399034,0.0,0.2234898479974812,0.0,0.0911658838976988,0.04484868171886759,0.08553079820276907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076164601116758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168055893433936,0.0,0.053635466403771634,0.0,0.0,0.1233960048788767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918424113942478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631657219017646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467740796464478,0.0377679329024408,0.15673848279384742,0.0,0.0,0.047319882084034134,0.1347057495412193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651877899843887,0.10119052816927987,0.10707631152883444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059393887579889476,0.10773219878616024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12524846250048968,0.0853595965568244,0.0,0.039307112937728386,0.07929568502170872,0.1237196880855944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051306573567934735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04066687271447899,0.0,0.0627363391919963,0.05937287850774457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04668854805171385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500175222549819,0.05375281676393622,0.0,0.0,0.053485164515404165,0.0,0.03425469614721776,0.05497677956607983,0.0,0.057407515136603166,0.0,0.045663681017585764,0.0,0.04252204249136931,0.0,0.0,0.12782766213277874,0.09735542426461824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04423151111250245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0453055460038083,0.041164353034131636,0.0,0.0,0.11354049852050907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837514999691467,0.0,0.06121115254944419,0.0,0.12135582111972995,0.0,0.0,0.04020330781867158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104710707630044,0.0,0.0,0.04244975876678938,0.09353757603920504,0.06145669756974601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089092751460849,0.0,0.0,0.11132975761883487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892304062687154,0.04244254850644962,0.04289096589436181,0.0,0.0,0.09913573916249097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05154384147477823,0.0,0.11678190747465725,0.05430208588142777,0.054491205912435656,0.0,0.058461810559598336,0.0,0.10330012262351702
mentalhealth,RandomBannanaMan,2019/04/13,"Getting worse I dont know what it is, everything was fine in my head back then the cuts weren't as deep. The panic attacks weren't as often and the suicide thoughts didnt cross my mind as much. Now everything is going to hell I dont even feel sad or angry I feel nothing I feel blank but violent at the same time as if, if someone asked me what's wrong I'd freak. A few weeks ago I found my limit for cutting and actually got some sleep and past out now I just want to have that feeling forever, gone, nothing to worry about.",2.303693693693696,3.730482432432435,3.6776576576576585,90.66261261261265,76.02702702702703,6.7351351351351365,24.94594594594595,7.3871296695380915,0.9843405405405404,414,14,92,5,9,136,80,111,0.252,0.669,0.078,-0.9685,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,10,5,1,5,0,9,2,2,0,0,22,22,12,1,3,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,7,0,0,3,5,9,0,0,8,4,10,1,12,14,4,15,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,5,8,58,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.1599635802297378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530637594287638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15324432354322215,0.1864841867529797,0.0,0.12604539088151392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38422917529735584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082684979588915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294643858284958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315342156899545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973128658257068,0.0,0.0,0.08564213365065823,0.0,0.09316027411661347,0.0,0.1311028687264861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823058438859784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008688060859753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551382294797698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205010446710722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145738901365698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19232637165316,0.0,0.0,0.15648146547995764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403972031602915,0.0,0.13889001798481426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17930333857500513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013523240785593,0.09558385057500526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668505237646603,0.0,0.1314878099902652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647007596046767,0.16704984790507166,0.0,0.1792222506128694,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fennykaylmao,2019/04/13,"Something needs to change. I’ve been dealing with depression and severe anxiety for four years and I don’t know how to make things get better.
When I was sixteen my best friend and first girlfriend at the time got together behind my back and I’ve been messed up ever since.
My parents kicked me out at 17 and I was homeless until I moved in with my girlfriend but she cheated on me and was super manipulative and abused me mentally. She left me after two years and I still feel like I haven’t recovered.
I’ve tried changing up my scenery several times and have moved state to state to try and break out of this and it seemed like it worked for a bit.

But lately I’ve been so fucking depressed and I can’t get suicide off my mind. It just seems so easy and convenient.

I got a new girlfriend recently but I feel like I’ll never be a good partner to her either and it brings me down so much more. I just want to be the best me but I want to die.

I’m sorry this wasn’t very concise or well written, my mind isn’t straight but I needed to get something out in writing and vent at least a little bit.",1.3092107195301033,3.5543323348017672,2.5498513215859044,93.62774320851689,82.48017621145375,5.3692364170337745,22.23366372980911,6.6274283507984215,0.4367857562408228,868,29,187,9,24,278,124,227,0.147,0.6890000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.4984,1,0,2,0,1,2,12.0,0,0,0,6,11,15,2,0,6,0,14,1,0,3,2,46,33,27,2,4,9,1,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,7,20,0,0,5,0,0,3,6,5,1,3,10,2,28,10,29,21,8,37,0,2,0,1,11,16,1,3,18,126,35,1,0.0,0.1320015590638187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852276522434555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566671668799945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338339422667714,0.09853229039526692,0.2432597526720579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23571209902318696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485788432575846,0.19191297944169453,0.0,0.11562505071558456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077590413746433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266357115187005,0.1591813585393041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476451874720396,0.0,0.0,0.08607438993846657,0.1029959125113626,0.1746199606831336,0.0,0.0,0.09344466257846658,0.17820806034444298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122752465940595,0.0,0.1256743110739439,0.0,0.12104630699813235,0.0,0.0,0.16328656803718508,0.11166118076555663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436643558948698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227416341380574,0.0,0.2249828522767757,0.0,0.0,0.2368204719783477,0.0818985032475209,0.16521686361328866,0.08592556172138184,0.10759959756456916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370661490668602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000304018483124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028453105403878,0.0,0.25172113057227946,0.0,0.0921587541224132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715363275847223,0.0,0.12471335993642417,0.0,0.0,0.08897144666696552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186346679948445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07401525188117293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299270776962297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512789239675671,0.0,0.10883049681280806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919241705492534,0.13142394072441824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017015552182744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110714756823546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348760815129855
mentalhealth,reddituser212131,2019/04/13,"Losing confidence and self esteem rapidly (24F) So I’m from the UK currently travelling Australia, I have met a friend here from Canada and she is 18 and beautiful, whenever we go out for a drink or anywhere all men approaches her instantly and tells her how beautiful she is - I’m always just stood there looking at the floor while everyone is admiring my friend and it is starting to make me feel ugly and knock my confidence. I never had a lot of confidence to begin with but this is now affecting my mental health - I don’t ever want to go out with her, I get shy around guys now because I don’t feel good enough, I stay quiet so I don’t look stupid

I just feel like I’m never going to find a partner, no one ever speaks to me or offers me on a date. I am giving up hope. Advice needed please before I get worse and do something stupid 😔",5.38157894736842,5.26626274269006,6.4673040935672494,79.15218421052631,67.7719298245614,9.88093567251462,29.380701754385967,9.642632912329526,2.523769122807017,663,21,132,13,10,223,108,171,0.125,0.684,0.191,0.8131,1,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,1,12,9,2,0,7,0,12,2,0,3,5,34,34,14,0,3,5,0,3,1,3,0,1,2,0,4,2,13,1,0,4,2,0,5,6,3,0,1,3,7,22,6,17,31,3,24,0,1,2,0,17,7,0,4,12,89,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250168923708474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985583810464418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892800199442665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513376517216968,0.0,0.13279701411736686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288105488305925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16125345633486976,0.0,0.0,0.2823334887513805,0.0,0.14912364436610084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367284573436417,0.1114905112617055,0.0,0.0,0.14263756854976475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411457680431729,0.0,0.16307159642066962,0.14970860528345134,0.2660803854762425,0.1308971515402465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452562120187588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658862917052034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500448352198454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762438647326072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26210504947233915,0.17459312576732489,0.0,0.1326780784237911,0.0,0.0,0.10417239808310083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727348975219013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157177747591144,0.24072881133001986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575144834532964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130888460812507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628063912272066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014392286804072,0.0,0.0,0.1104612760895028,0.1663410099159092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364048064543178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204923539948023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904020730513824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RlTTER,2019/04/13,"I can't stop thinking the world isn't real I can't stop thinking about:

\- where does my consciousness come from?

\- how do I know my world is real?

​

I think about this 10-20 times a day for about 10 minutes each time. It always leaves me fearful that something bad is happening to me in the real world (matrix style) that I can't control.

​

I go to CBT therapy once a week but my therapist told me she is basically unable to address this issue with her training (she is a PhD, but very CBT/mindfulness focussed).

​

Has anyone experienced something similar, and what did/will you do to solve this?",3.611856702619416,6.006877889830508,4.293636363636363,83.38580123266567,75.18644067796609,7.002773497688753,28.52388289676425,8.00094639256281,2.0723288135593223,493,21,89,8,11,157,75,118,0.04,0.908,0.052000000000000005,-0.2028,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,1,5,2,0,1,5,0,11,0,0,2,0,18,19,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,3,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,1,16,0,11,18,1,13,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,6,56,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543668552075256,0.3728208661168761,0.4181064460473967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019846750516049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576679603213188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988008885340339,0.0,0.0,0.12864189022914094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396976116209371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037168993659652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290654627045085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518467053562682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142574612306494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971335867442925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303420301987454,0.0,0.0,0.12144704456374435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581078008047566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214804121102033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916492202540338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17659795587699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19178283837935944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116545653479675,0.13317148981474264,0.0,0.22047867953478212,0.0,0.0,0.1337609161703225,0.0,0.0,0.10959743172738508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463663378632216,0.0,0.0,0.09200262295211577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4181064460473967,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway104035,2019/04/13,"I have a question as a teenager I don't know if this is the right place to ask, but I'm going to ask anyways. During the last year or so my life, due to reasons out of my control, has been pretty stressful. Due to the extreme stress, I used to live in a constant haze of fatigue and got sick really often. But that's not what I'm asking about.

About a month ago, over the course of a day, all of this stress completely disappeared, even though the stressful things in my life haven't. After that day, I haven't really felt stress, anxiety, or empathy at the same levels as before.  I'm sure this isn't depression or anything, because honestly, I'm pretty optimistic about my life in general. These new changes have actually made my life way easier because I'm more relaxed in everyday life. The only real problem is that I'm more impulsive than before, but that doesn't affect me much.   

Can anyone here tell me what this means?",5.728181818181818,5.940129617486342,6.438072528564334,78.53597615499257,67.0327868852459,9.714654744162944,31.390461997019372,9.573946990214177,2.7988950819672125,732,27,140,14,11,241,106,183,0.17,0.684,0.147,-0.5857,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,9,11,0,5,12,0,12,7,0,5,2,26,28,12,0,2,8,0,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,12,2,0,1,5,1,0,2,6,8,0,0,4,1,11,3,23,24,5,25,0,2,0,0,5,10,0,6,12,90,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.10071772968242787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148912691457238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895509932429445,0.0,0.0,0.0721665866322602,0.0,0.08493274745698466,0.0,0.2894612698432861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583128868246898,0.0,0.17564761984697125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918212399628044,0.0,0.10821335379198724,0.111532965144841,0.11575839794147733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312337113494946,0.0,0.08889431982800987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681690000616711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09909744889668697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865642224400304,0.0,0.08254618503800099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672132416665623,0.0841296395019331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645001383567996,0.0,0.0,0.09113601134386999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765946580496196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242556518558446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238095750544065,0.0,0.07587096779279874,0.0,0.0,0.09968052256909407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849558920397251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783211661059527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21000263603826466,0.0,0.0987576957463694,0.0,0.0,0.115618428010602,0.0,0.0,0.11747517653044595,0.1322374885306375,0.1061167091670634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814047669373562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5911315236220314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727387316108163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902097827599212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856790501629031,0.0,0.1014029565506948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913999928638497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192301571165032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06646363037802185
mentalhealth,katphish99,2019/04/13,"Why is it so hard to get help??? I've tried to schedule new appointments with several psychiatrists and psychologists in my area, and it seems like the scheduling systems (if you can even call them that) are absolute garbage. 

I have depression, which means it's often nearly impossible for me to motivate myself to do things, especially if that thing is calling an office and following up with phone tag and some ridiculous process to just get into the system--not even get an appointment. Odds are, if I can't schedule easily, I'm not going to, because when I'm at my worst I just can't put in the effort. I know other people who have had this same issue and have ended up not getting help when they wanted/needed it. 

Not sure if I just have terrible offices in my area, or if this a universal problem. Anyone else?",6.801282051282049,6.9162339999999976,7.35717948717949,73.18782051282055,64.76923076923077,10.77948717948718,33.358974358974365,10.504223727775694,3.509735897435897,648,25,117,15,9,214,102,156,0.14,0.795,0.064,-0.9086,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,2,2,9,7,1,0,6,0,13,0,0,1,1,29,24,14,0,6,12,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,1,1,13,2,17,23,3,21,0,1,0,0,9,10,0,9,8,88,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274899503146753,0.18681947424706466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114717690547024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723603106350814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704127002542273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15231400580344062,0.0,0.1614909898515532,0.0,0.0,0.24085557697635446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38104131677798586,0.0,0.10362280809581302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333260330591473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444250135606206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190306007386286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002042515414881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907762986207231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19861171753413928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351959943872924,0.0,0.17609624429699405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640523455136654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744659725705823,0.0,0.1832928364646513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16598713270272433,0.0,0.20598193072874416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17184464216683046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24226499302934945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379065979309528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645252073285574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Male1999,2019/04/13,"Sick of myself I'm a college student. I've been battling a flurry of mental disorders for years now. I've had very severe OCD, depression, and social anxiety since 7th grade, and ADHD (which got diagnosed three days ago) since kindergarten. I come from an immigrant family and in our culture, there's a severe stigma against mental health to the point where I didn't suspect anything was wrong with me medically until my junior year of high school, where I couldn't bear it anymore. That went nowhere, and once I had more bouts with horrible manifestations of OCD, I asked for help the summer before college and subsequently, I got diagnosed and started getting treatment last August. I went my entire schooling up until college untreated. Went a month on meds, stopped because I thought I didn't need them anymore, and then while my ADHD was still untreated, the other three relapsed. I started getting mixed up with drugs to escape my shitty reality. During my first it was drinking and smoking weed on social occasions, but during the second semester when I was miserable in every way, I started to binge drink and do a shit ton of drugs like Adderall, MDMA, and then cocaine/crack while still drinking lots of alcohol almost every day and smoking weed. This escalated to the point where my hall mate snitched on me to the police and I got arrested, and subsequently suspended for a year from my university. I'm taking community college classes in the fall. I'm getting treatment for my mental health and substance issues but every time I think I feel a bit better, I'm reminded of everything and I feel like a deadbeat shithead. My sister also has OCD and seeing her get help so early makes me so envious because I can't help but think back and ask myself how I could've done academically if I got help sooner. It's all so overwhelming to the point where I wish I never existed. And even though I'm at home, I still feel the need to escape by downing shit like cough syrup and snorting old oxy pills, and I still get cravings and try to source shit like cocaine and heroin. This shit is so bad, and this path is not where I want to take my life. I like to think I'm a decently intelligent individual, and I'm an engineering major and I want to finish my degree with good grades, but I'm feeling so hopeless right now. Classes start in a month and I don't know how I'll do. I just sit at home and waste my time away because I have no motivation and suck at being productive. I need help. I was suicidal, got out of that stage for a bit, and I don't want to go back. I made no friends before college, and the ones I made in college are away from me and I feel lonely. My parents are always fighting. It's all so awful.",6.235687022900763,6.7084405744274855,6.80731870229008,75.4231536259542,65.96564885496183,9.374427480916033,33.16889312977099,9.271962702966755,2.973606106870229,2167,88,390,37,32,711,247,524,0.193,0.7,0.107,-0.9945,1,2,9,0,2,1,52.0,1,0,1,3,27,23,8,2,23,1,24,19,4,6,3,75,77,53,1,9,7,2,5,5,2,0,12,0,2,0,11,37,4,1,12,3,0,6,10,15,0,5,22,7,57,8,53,53,8,75,0,5,1,0,18,28,5,3,43,249,68,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152068687272443,0.0,0.056082160065831804,0.0676129193079641,0.06335251520217555,0.0,0.0,0.050594400264126614,0.0526430074678615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04839889359151205,0.0,0.12548723923910382,0.0,0.0,0.052063147811664164,0.0,0.11829174909034584,0.0,0.1188823958721333,0.09729645710462646,0.05282509688160147,0.11570047793388814,0.0,0.10767069556405612,0.0,0.0,0.0559543025372341,0.13814181870270326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054498706493715236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050513354954431565,0.0,0.0,0.08160364472014879,0.0,0.054491562458485146,0.12842884697852153,0.0,0.0,0.07250918118395662,0.0,0.0,0.06474385502324508,0.0,0.18593199885440345,0.14673869739904802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041787094291063774,0.0,0.15991490658874025,0.0,0.056860078972884774,0.0,0.05964226501295824,0.0,0.15994785871383124,0.045197781652419625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053814668577227685,0.0,0.0,0.048879737150169515,0.0,0.16527133846018408,0.0,0.03595595424414561,0.053065151529822135,0.2530010132486889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449920189211045,0.0,0.0,0.2120318577832831,0.06684479911809564,0.1269234253051169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603405388937553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0347697533940907,0.05157084855814301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044687179324449065,0.15454470122717248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537871317549592,0.0,0.11972906459871648,0.042231049525971134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027510115299852,0.06373459858936588,0.1912740224012712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099783878166446,0.0,0.0,0.14073448917789955,0.048795220906292194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06638781564119058,0.06737702813723713,0.04287118982277977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025024312921406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942259627179066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054029462176772194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12805866526590828,0.05041541171190591,0.0,0.0,0.14294684756188833,0.2597696549861479,0.1046698252711638,0.0,0.0,0.12898497653296495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179122136269397,0.0,0.20209964566977803,0.05289383918732659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920356019514677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951374506288056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216163439658634,0.062159264518228174,0.05022673565935421,0.07378270599444806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04295397298302879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220169782681014,0.11194911196770772,0.05021820444856195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17594674422053452,0.0,0.0,0.07275364471567099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917226364644131,0.0,0.122225145756292
mentalhealth,Alextheruiner666,2019/04/13,Being a Parent I have a 20 month old daughter whom I am head over heels for. I didn't want to be a father in the slightest when I found out. Yet paranting took to me somehow. It's amazing the joy can bring. But what obviously isn't talked about is the pain. When I'm healthy and taking care of myself I view it as irreplaceable alone time I get with my daughter. But lately I can't do it. My ex is switching jobs Monday to full time. Which is good because it's a schedule. But she hasn't given either of us time to rest and get caught up. She likes to assume my freedom of time and pile hours of watching her onto me. Meanwhile Im missing appointments and AA for her work schedule. I accidently ran out of my meds and almost had to go back into the hospital.it was ugly. I can't seem to keep myself fed or clean with how much is going on. My family helps but not as much as I would like. However my parents didn't have the child. I did. So I use that route as little as possible. How do we do it guys? The live is there and always will be. But how can I manage everything at once. I know what's needed. But how is my question. It's like a boundaries/self-neglect kind of thing. I'm stable and safe and so is my daughter. (We've been at grandmas the past few days.),1.0628176318063964,2.9876008838951336,2.9550749063670416,92.16678694900608,81.35955056179775,5.456006914433882,21.130653990204554,6.490185161304077,0.2453487179487181,984,29,217,9,26,329,154,267,0.033,0.841,0.126,0.9701,4,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,2,0,0,1,13,11,0,0,12,0,30,4,2,5,1,41,52,28,0,3,9,7,0,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,12,14,1,2,5,0,0,6,7,2,1,0,12,2,32,9,33,35,6,35,0,1,2,0,19,12,0,6,20,153,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589509609988826,0.140555805278944,0.0,0.0,0.11292253410937192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435348420040164,0.0,0.08272824694990055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13836654459628173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752245357548911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12196841548608416,0.0,0.12793637805358402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488002523816433,0.0,0.0,0.14180693126976335,0.0,0.15425552850673738,0.11382805944936927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343753579787388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392787749495932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096431167016272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364812891471867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659131160713038,0.0,0.13467235876558925,0.12062629041200901,0.0,0.1413222610539604,0.07458328945236747,0.0,0.15308806899667612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989048134045409,0.13601820769266154,0.11983541663489353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15074447469274507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832333146769824,0.0,0.1995265955109012,0.10062808540626852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424060048386436,0.1445279273350821,0.0,0.0,0.14440621368078702,0.0,0.30138230536290433,0.0,0.12955163232401354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299391129698406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202752772495415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235463183776201,0.14157630904328578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020378824316665,0.109079467924949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016044639484476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165370116601462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078006203780395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324378312723353,0.11721084559003532,0.0,0.0,0.08004594229920622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879932101433216,0.0,0.0,0.09640529502205614,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,phat_lobster,2019/04/13,"I want to show my grandma that her life still has meaning. She’s in a rough patch with her health, but it’s sustainable. Ultimately, it’s her attitude that will determine the outcome. How can I help her change her mindset? My grandma has gone through a lot, and it’s recently been really catching up to her. She lost her husband, my grandpa, about a half a decade ago, and still lives alone in their giant old house. All of her pets have since died, and she spends the majority of time by herself watching tv. She doesn’t get out much other than family events, and recently, she hasn’t even been attending many of those. When we saw her a week ago, she seemed much skinnier and less stable on her feet, so my dad went with her to the doctor to run some tests (she definitely wouldn’t go herself). The test results came back with quite a few problems (From her teen years to adulthood she was a smoker, which is presenting itself now with breathing and heart problems) but nothing she has is immediately threatening to her health. This really scares her though, along with the fact that my grandfather from my mother’s side just recently passed, and we assume that’s why she’s been going out less and less.

I love my grandma so much and I hate to see her so isolated and afraid. I know that ultimately, her outlook on her life and what she choses to do is up to her, but if I can do anything to show her that she still has a purpose in the present, I will. 

Starting now I want to call her each weekend and talk to her. I know she probably wouldn’t have much to say  if I ask her about her day or what she’s been doing for the past week, because she doesn’t get out much. I want it to be something she can look forward to and be able to actively participate in. Maybe a game or something? I want to know what she truly wants from her life and about her interests and hobbies. I want her to know she still has so much left to give to the world. But I’m in a rut. I really want this to work. If there anything you can think of that would make this idea work? Any topics, games, questions, activities, etc.? Maybe just advice on how to help her in general? Whatever it may be, I would really, really appreciate it :,)",4.447714502657553,5.348453015945335,4.954357630979501,85.60585687167807,70.09339407744875,8.586818526955202,27.61738800303721,8.841846274778883,1.8592559757023537,1730,57,365,30,30,552,201,439,0.071,0.838,0.091,0.4859,0,1,3,0,0,0,56.0,2,1,1,4,22,8,1,2,18,0,35,10,3,4,2,72,67,32,1,16,11,4,1,0,0,7,6,1,1,0,23,28,0,0,10,6,1,10,5,6,0,1,10,6,73,2,56,47,16,53,0,1,4,1,66,19,0,11,26,264,96,5,0.08179208148051667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992627539678357,0.14500749036135632,0.0,0.0,0.08471192921267777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055621420176736575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346158278429318,0.0,0.07646455506488654,0.0,0.0,0.0628930619346321,0.0,0.049859693703869716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835188600945437,0.09354835155458167,0.0,0.0,0.08652517696341296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052749126064858425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488726727248239,0.0,0.0,0.08371766122255632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121979161108043,0.05402289841838892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710629511099347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854659734598015,0.07846241753133144,0.09296864960927004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075274699507869,0.0,0.17388231568725554,0.0,0.09692401036793027,0.1096470162266168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437708041344653,0.0,0.0923333042251282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17980315573586894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886733584898188,0.0,0.1733164980867291,0.0,0.0,0.07222390644769472,0.0,0.06868474858152404,0.0,0.08928571891176837,0.06953670276222239,0.07382054691223372,0.0,0.054596849514166386,0.08292433284642492,0.1643422789002789,0.08909555490261219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607595460341637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848170812519205,0.0,0.08582703060475155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807979674008342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881856976886882,0.15652795142993586,0.0,0.0,0.09162585025539316,0.08699594664084384,0.0,0.0,0.2619905090118163,0.0,0.2422794389753323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650443460870738,0.08188814230597767,0.0,0.06517769928348405,0.0744604390841176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765925501673176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593508064651399,0.0,0.0,0.05789285625344274,0.0,0.2612770477019179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574137686505849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05240906319321579,0.0803603047735273,0.0,0.04769362046578487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377016217187706,0.0,0.13121734828274048,0.0,0.0,0.07582207897223811,0.07380463159171614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909121891361005,0.0,0.0,0.11620549590859408,0.0,0.0,0.05267141881472396
mentalhealth,Aodbeoan752,2019/04/13,"My husband is in the psych ward and I'm sick to my stomach with pain. My husband is mentally ill and was admitted to the VA hospital psych ward today. I'm here on a farm with our 2 year old, alone, knowing I couldn't take the verbal abuse but the pain of him being gone just as sickening.

It makes me wish I could just disappear.",1.9313043478260887,3.6119188695652227,3.602246376811596,89.71902173913048,77.69565217391305,7.498550724637681,24.54347826086957,8.344100000000001,1.4404086956521738,258,9,57,5,6,86,50,69,0.277,0.6629999999999999,0.061,-0.9428,0,1,0,0,1,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,5,0,6,5,1,1,0,13,14,4,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,2,0,8,0,8,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,34,9,2,0.0,0.3200142477410737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797333263665209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156460757233491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484352183708292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028816561817226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721886938339622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834155825084817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5747927724614953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20307518576952013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25601514977366513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105918819222839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393006305517875
mentalhealth,sourpatchkidlookinaz,2019/04/13,"Cant be happy No matter how hard I try I am just never happy, I havent lived an easy life by any means & dealing with medical conditions that make it really hard to love yourself I can never see the bright side. I want to be happy i dont want to be a dick to my loving gf or mother but I'm just never in a good mood not sure what to do",0.8907692307692301,1.6735201282051264,3.8517948717948727,90.60153846153848,78.48717948717949,6.7384615384615385,18.128205128205128,7.1686216300943375,0.024882051282051343,262,4,64,3,6,95,55,78,0.245,0.629,0.126,-0.8191,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,9,0,0,4,0,9,5,1,2,4,16,17,3,0,2,5,1,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,4,7,8,8,14,0,5,0,0,2,3,5,2,1,1,3,41,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444387214491376,0.0,0.11576207316410005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754994061846198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995080090827168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278064488051204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5436382297960631,0.3049848540542984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202383126758841,0.0,0.0,0.15031599545334906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072780064052392,0.0,0.1136296856122294,0.0,0.0,0.18543011150128852,0.0,0.17148857254607253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938750521143078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905354223663093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565107775292118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043953274014214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557483180369806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20081184405383887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,whatsgoingon45666,2019/04/13,"This memory is making me feel so bad I'm considering killing myself. I have never ever told anyone about this, because I feel do ashamed. I dont really know why it makes me feel this way and why it makes me want to kill myself. This is probably gonna be a long one, Im gonna be as detailed as I can. Also English isnt my main language. Im sorry if I repeat something, this is something that I dont know how to handle. 

Bit of backgroud of what my life was like before the memory. 
 My mom always threatened to leave us for some reason, she would usually fight with dad about it at nights and me and my sister would beg her to stay, she never left, this happened many times when I was 4-8 I think, I dont have many memories from that time. 
 My parents divorced when I was around 8, it was very hard for me, my dad blamed mom, he didnt like her new man, dad always used to say moms guy friend is a liar and traitor for breaking our family, I was always very conflicted who's side I should be on, moms or dads. Mom was a big guilt tripper, and loves to play a victim and she still is. Probably has bpd, and I got bpd too. She always has crossed my personal boundaries a lot, havent talked to her for couple years. Also for the first years I was afraid to sleep at moms place because I was scared she would leave us. 
 Dad is that stereotypical tough man, doesnt really talk about feelings, I've never seen him cry. I think some of my issues are because of him, I crave attention from men, I like them older, I'm very submissive ja have some interesting kinks, I think all that is because of dad and this one memory, it's so weird, makes me ashamed and disgusted.
 So the memory. At one point dad had a girlfriend, I dont remember how long they were together, I remember only few things from that time, I believe I was around 10 years old. So I never liked her, she was kinda weirdly sexual? When she was playing with us kids we would listen to music and there was this one song that was about sex and she would always say how she liked that song. It made me so uncomfortable and I was ashamed cuz I really didnt know why. I did know what sex was, well anyway. I remember once when she was seeing dad I really didnt want her to be there, I guess I was scared she would take dad away from us. Well she was staying for the night, I wanted to sleep next to dad because I didnt like her and I wanted my dads attention or something. Then I forced myself to stay awake and told dad I cant sleep and stuff like that to make sure he would stay? Anyway I dont know how much time had passed. She didnt really like my me being there and I remember her climbing on top if dad and saying something I dont remember what, but I didnt like it. I think she knew I was awake. Anyway bit after that the went in the livingroom, I could hear them talking, I dont remember much of it, one thing I remember she was telling my dad how she punched her exhusband and laughed because police didnt believe him, because she is such a small woman. I think she had issues with alcohol, and I remember her and my dad had been drinking that night. I remember when I was listening them the whole time and thinking I wanted to go there and stop them or get dads attention away from her. But then I hear they started having sex, I was in dads room and they were on the sofa in the livingroom, I was standing and quickly went back to bed, I dont know what that made me feel, but I just had to hear everything but I think I fell asleep I dont know, 
 I dont remember the next day. I dont remember a lot, but that memory, it makes me feel weird, ashamed, I dont know what I should think about it, it makes me feel weird. Also dad and her broke up, I told dad I didnt like her, but I dont know what was the reason for their break up.
 I dont know why I am like this, why this makes me think about killing myself, its like it haunts me. This is not the only weird memory I have, I have a lot things I question, like am I allowed to feel these feelings about this, and what is this even, what happened to me really?
 One other memory Ive recently remembered too, I was around 11 I think, I had just gotten my first bra and panties, my mom got them for me and I was trying them on, I was really happy about them, showing them to my mom and stuff, then she asks if I wanted to show them to her guyfriend (they are still together btw, married) so yeah 11 year old me wanted to show them and I did, to me this just seems wrong.
 I have a lot of bad memories from my childhood but I feel like none if them are bad enough, like I shouldnt be this traumatised, but I am.

I dont know what's the point of this, but I needed to get it out, I need to know if Im allowed to have these feelings.",2.678811573670444,3.7214490705645176,3.983672624237141,90.37811028770709,74.42338709677419,7.539581517000871,23.082824760244108,8.00916892397051,0.919105557977332,3666,96,836,54,74,1206,301,992,0.105,0.825,0.069,-0.9868,3,0,6,0,2,3,108.0,6,0,16,4,51,51,7,8,23,1,111,11,4,21,7,169,195,72,3,25,21,30,12,15,2,12,2,10,3,7,60,38,2,2,53,8,0,7,34,26,2,8,58,24,180,25,81,118,17,89,0,1,2,4,119,27,0,19,62,573,240,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03041697572526893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828260014889828,0.11841236088045115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0199011309423884,0.0,0.0,0.07601102706821962,0.02660791234432645,0.0,0.05348153853458235,0.021885343838108008,0.07129316583184668,0.12145021322928293,0.0,0.0242188694617491,0.06413333530100643,0.0,0.0,0.06214576132981274,0.0,0.07169320444738707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02272440692070307,0.031492406503531974,0.031263917238006415,0.018355486687688882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5003547266904815,0.027881698515562443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029408616113751423,0.0,0.018798730267679708,0.02574529990074402,0.0,0.0,0.02557960312255578,0.0,0.02683122316958617,0.0,0.15830238375042965,0.020333093755289428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841913304530602,0.0,0.0,0.021989492445700462,0.0,0.029740199603740462,0.0,0.01617547945891214,0.0,0.04552695406274143,0.0,0.03135384781623145,0.028181626471483263,0.0503372973902444,0.030298082784160768,0.025496154932441176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623544799917044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223078508927066,0.05941338533381884,0.0,0.0,0.09446619267921733,0.0,0.18770212955506632,0.0,0.0,0.06027380850572075,0.03092379574479955,0.0,0.020103389450637152,0.20857474313235908,0.0,0.0,0.05037554058099311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678871420833483,0.025687858116537232,0.05386242878998642,0.15198761673735786,0.05771153386603961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666726427676049,0.0,0.0,0.041845350742839516,0.04220808276333927,0.08780588473368879,0.027488554255196786,0.06053882932406104,0.08012832762175671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973167842713953,0.03031085553274882,0.11571858930214445,0.04329291634945825,0.0,0.0,0.03160342670936634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02485171922945595,0.02973649125734107,0.0,0.05381114350356556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061373202580796815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03188369552403803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763336803677128,0.058526878514302126,0.028102563641492877,0.0,0.3868996374493717,0.0,0.0,0.06790182422601902,0.056990392755656,0.0,0.022680345264131374,0.02591052592392666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544697248624017,0.0,0.0,0.08764504244024267,0.0,0.03186062065801936,0.02014538688215908,0.12134583693962947,0.04545921163693197,0.0237953136626018,0.0,0.0,0.06516383311750228,0.0,0.0,0.02682488084016697,0.0,0.02139970848736516,0.06862947642354411,0.024876840969877214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672620473771076,0.18237152603713,0.0,0.0,0.0829814331398582,0.0,0.0,0.08158932112820548,0.0,0.019323673151541442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369440167924662,0.02458183046736676,0.031346617959480086,0.0704518215690568,0.11751242312997133,0.02259162777340068,0.0,0.0,0.051181097646037066,0.052768690783485776,0.12841159974914212,0.031776549120780866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152897067855394,0.031118476849259145,0.0,0.07331378538378795
mentalhealth,summer-96,2019/04/13,"Loosing friends Really upset, so every year for the last 5 years i go away with family and friends for a ladies only weekend break, we’ll for the 4 years my supposed best friend has gone with me and now made a shabby excuse to no going like she has a really good job doesn’t pay rent nor any bills, her parents cover everything and she is now saying she can not afford ! She has been a no show friend for a while as I have been poorly with my MH for a while but I am gutted like she keeps asking if I am annoyed ‘yes!!!! Of course I am why wouldn’t I be’she said yes to going since last November and then when we finalise it she changes her mind !! Like just don’t know how to feel and i keep ruminating over it any suggestions !!!",5.724586092715235,4.749243205298015,6.228203642384106,84.02786837748346,67.27814569536424,9.404304635761587,27.484271523178805,8.472884824447931,1.587588741721854,568,13,125,7,8,185,98,151,0.063,0.762,0.175,0.9466,4,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,0,0,1,6,11,1,1,8,2,15,1,1,2,0,21,26,15,0,2,4,1,1,3,4,2,0,2,1,0,2,9,0,2,2,2,4,4,7,2,0,0,5,3,20,9,15,19,1,19,0,0,0,0,20,2,0,1,15,80,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073157423495747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425018090722632,0.0,0.14321333997424635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996625755705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612511082699825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284291517188456,0.0,0.13699457789637362,0.0,0.14369777650379734,0.0,0.07707336952655104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710692689516981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598890573236999,0.12785135311369872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151263610910038,0.2709742136493356,0.0,0.0,0.08377173890412548,0.2485021743761455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22340932154702764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423329129080747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391120957182222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593015678900928,0.0,0.0,0.169255874744629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953015823463082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499617760306052,0.12121873957763744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260919681306483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754468996526115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29448046069705364
mentalhealth,djfnfnf,2019/04/13,"I (22X) think I am schizophrenic and I don't want to die alone My family has a decent history of schizophrenia. My great grandmother on my mother's side had it. I've always had paranoia. I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (aspergers that isn't quite like aspergers - already an iffy vague diagnosis) when I was about 5. I eventually began talking to myself a lot, having mostly auditory hallucinations, and over the last decade my above average schizophrenia developed into very severe schizophrenia. I'm going to see a doctor this summer.

I'm also a Two Spirit trans person. I'm kind of overweight but working on it. I'm a social person but awkward and I don't function at all in loud, impersonal environments. I've never had any sort of relation, barely any friends, very lethargic. I really am kind of mean sometimes though I really don't mean it. I refuse to ever have sex unless I adore somebody because it repulses me.

All this together just makes me feel that I'm going to die alone. Like, so much of this stuff already repulses people, but paranoid schizophrenia too?

I really want a relationship. I want to adopt older queer kids and smother them in all my love and get them what they need to be happy and teach them skills. But this just seems impossible. It's so unfair.

I want and need this. I can't rely on myself. I'm sort of losing my grasp on reality right now. Or maybe this is what's real. Can't tell anymore.

Seriously, why does this all have to fall on me. It's so unfair. God I'm just so tired all the time. I am very suicidal and chronically depressed. It takes me so much energy to do anything, and recently I struggle to even shower. I never missed a class before this term. Now I have missed lots.

I need a gender dysphoria diagnosis and a schizophrenia diagnosis just to get medication that will help. It's miserable.",2.904696234696236,5.5378088205128275,4.717137137137139,78.13954954954959,79.02849002849005,7.783198583198582,24.87110187110187,8.685302888712808,2.2324225918225933,1460,54,258,35,37,494,182,351,0.182,0.6779999999999999,0.139,-0.9258,1,2,0,0,0,1,47.0,0,0,4,4,18,18,1,3,12,0,23,10,0,1,8,51,53,24,3,7,10,1,1,2,1,1,7,1,1,3,22,12,1,1,6,0,0,3,8,9,0,1,6,3,36,9,30,45,11,28,1,5,1,3,16,12,1,7,15,168,58,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085422311269844,0.2221993722048039,0.0805114424948219,0.08377141435370222,0.0,0.0,0.13692776412855165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984463293457198,0.0,0.0,0.0828486771116106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06137182723231456,0.0,0.08566879900767835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867130408587927,0.10218513980013487,0.2089738750587537,0.0,0.0,0.10304728046184136,0.08810321084790378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649627669222771,0.09106820308324802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490941220339827,0.0,0.0509053680319609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07778287965038333,0.0,0.10519926152312943,0.0,0.11443423490984828,0.0,0.0,0.11099686092655124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717264769330867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748173962284537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20967941928555853,0.0,0.08206527573056459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837149376827957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126319254909151,0.0,0.17118414459480352,0.0908650157018706,0.0,0.06720274768860125,0.0,0.1011436813825631,0.2193337582507424,0.0,0.10142158899937834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480185087853074,0.22395238748424354,0.15529677598746386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979682644341514,0.17581472521052666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708249109719553,0.0,0.1145925836666194,0.19348898953622848,0.0,0.09940649294162678,0.1080895307301223,0.0,0.08597769544381102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022661598330841,0.09165265294756672,0.0,0.1137364692259755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262762743126104,0.0,0.0,0.09957222867836464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052495668744656,0.11525119557562585,0.11012440957895968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569665165925518,0.08092044140784026,0.08799622510705232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645098221181383,0.0989147420397067,0.0,0.05870562809098358,0.11571351912254105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834690018638174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492074599624377,0.2375278540307863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084542568379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329412967778194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Lobster_Emperor,2019/04/13,"My Mum has Gone Fucking Manic... We're at my nan's house. I don't want to give fucking details, and you may have seen the post by my throwaway u/polypana.

Turns out she wasn't OK. She's off her gourd. I hate having to do this, but she is not OK. I had to ring the hospital...

Fuck today.",-1.7814285714285705,0.13193085714285854,0.8130158730158747,101.70142857142858,97.57142857142857,3.4349206349206347,16.523809523809526,5.033348758259628,-0.9650761904761902,216,6,54,1,9,73,49,63,0.211,0.789,0.0,-0.9016,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,2,9,3,0,0,0,6,18,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,4,2,11,2,7,13,0,6,0,0,1,3,7,3,3,1,1,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7343148515729739,0.0,0.25398737884166983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614013076432992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055040620863982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535723463006266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509669191240048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879890450602289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156165665822806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mjcollins791,2019/04/13,How’s everybody’s day? Long time lurker so I figured I’d make my introduction with getting to see how everybody’s days been!,1.953466666666668,4.638514480000001,4.18,79.93666666666667,84.2,8.133333333333335,28.333333333333336,8.841846274778883,2.9491333333333336,102,5,19,3,3,35,20,25,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,5,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6338892517007653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567623674736252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4349178295599832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3280467248045118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.391622061904734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865684765164063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Edgalpo99,2019/04/13,"In last month my ability to remember and resolving things has decreased a lot. I never been the most clever guy, people used to call me smart, I like to be informed, but I'm far to be smart.

I consider myself kinda dumb, but I always had a great capabilty to remember things. In this weeks I noticed that I can't remember a lot of things that I used to know and I could explained perfectly, and I'm noticing difficulties to attain new information and resolving easy things. I have been experiencing anxiety, maybe it's everything related.

Sorry if I seem egocentric, I'm not, I find hard to explain this.",4.658975845410627,6.47678566086957,6.221159420289857,73.21859903381645,70.65217391304347,10.676328502415457,31.90821256038648,10.746095033038511,3.9894444444444446,481,22,86,16,9,164,73,115,0.083,0.652,0.265,0.9705,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,0,9,1,0,4,0,9,0,0,2,2,29,18,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,0,12,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,2,14,8,11,12,3,8,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,6,6,59,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423939233578644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422313083470405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246405857038112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921333575426525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419183286723804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646829514585435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646168046592743,0.0,0.1478421729715391,0.0,0.0,0.13375405963333442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205786943278638,0.12170905872002286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294621144470702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538791336646434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500037884106548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11917926730461027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515847756208128,0.1442062826659999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399849851268956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351401335643104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5074235440269571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359278698589286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714235408200606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967845447736584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257914938698867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976893273796507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Pashmina3,2019/04/13,Not alone but feeling alone My family is aware I have anxiety and depression. The last few weeks I haven’t been feeling well I know they can see I’m not myself but no one wants to talk to me about how I am feeling.,0.4741304347826088,2.5852485869565243,2.363217391304349,94.50569565217394,84.86956521739131,6.288695652173913,20.069565217391304,7.554174236665415,0.5625878260869568,169,5,39,3,5,56,35,46,0.23,0.605,0.165,-0.5111,0,2,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,0,11,13,4,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,1,4,8,1,3,12,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5676907922931556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20965654463195585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360490467626304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583610960650797,0.0,0.4157216773868959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15061721071220324,0.22339696447801294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857113841974476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183917902116946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22028051223618364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164876403897613,0.0,0.219835863442028,0.0,0.2464144925869952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thewildhatter,2019/04/13,"Talked to my therapist about the phase I’m in after a panic attack/ mental breakdown. Turns out I’m dissociating but in a happy way So after having 3 mental breakdowns this past week (I really don’t know if that’s what I should call them, some people would tell me those are nervous breakdowns or panic attacks but to me I label it as mental breakdown it just feels right) I talked to my therapist about what happened. I explained to her that afterwards I felt a lot like my brain was hazy and I couldn’t control my body but that I was jumping around, smiling and joking around sort of like a child but what I was saying was something a child would not say it was really depressing things. She explained to me that what I was going through is similar to dissociating after I went into thorough details on what was going on and how I literally wasn’t thinking I was just acting impulsively. Right now I’m regretting everything I did sort of like ur drunk and ur doing dumb stuff and the next day u remember what u did. My friends who helped me through these breakdowns were pretty understanding though but they didn’t even know what to do they just laughed and smiled with me and made sure to stay around me the entire time. I’m pretty sure I was still freaking out on the inside but on the outside I acted carefree. I mean does anybody else go through this? To me it’s kind of creepy because one minute I’m crying my eyes out and freaking out and the next I’m smiling and dancing (I forgot what it was called but it’s like ur turning ur legs and feet and u keep rocking back and forth while ur turning ur upper half in a different direction).",4.465277777777779,5.9080510833333335,5.007716049382714,83.20472222222223,70.57407407407408,7.498765432098766,28.62345679012345,7.9370924344782425,1.8257493827160487,1317,49,251,17,24,421,162,324,0.111,0.723,0.166,0.9673,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,1,15,21,3,3,12,0,25,6,5,3,2,61,51,27,0,6,13,0,2,4,1,3,0,2,0,2,25,22,1,3,10,4,0,8,5,10,0,2,19,5,36,11,37,28,2,42,0,2,1,0,25,18,1,6,18,173,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527566717776224,0.0,0.2153398660904141,0.0,0.07277452867811436,0.0,0.057693417965650376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051268980681743,0.0,0.10565274842834146,0.19328191352588334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061500316081908,0.0,0.0,0.10396075375639084,0.061036824563293776,0.0,0.08151576928615056,0.0,0.0,0.09888166033862723,0.0,0.0,0.08282261742546844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906197749236676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251072613240073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850589131606785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047854281141832884,0.0,0.09087200168399416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312085021119556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136318019118004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369238152261545,0.1007490999811684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343712391636377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412293559901579,0.0,0.09855598994832432,0.10402649760569337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849509119027963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046198759746345,0.0,0.08955337639759532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030938360433412,0.0,0.0,0.2861332723277075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20130754185876312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413246126460277,0.0,0.0,0.22208604299680626,0.0,0.0,0.0903473329530109,0.06561345265854555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257165656814804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126129798730867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721192749430998,0.16164899572523644,0.0,0.15052762527551247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286070876638097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087671178092268,0.07558192198003814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083434484069659,0.0,0.0,0.17839957867972858,0.0,0.0,0.15214071532969672,0.08272204402979713,0.0,0.0,0.21977534422053388,0.06287652053085899,0.0606433325874946,0.0929861438516284,0.0,0.05518702132769149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088328108207686,0.0,0.09852657030916974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512310866315203,0.07591680530352826,0.0,0.0,0.08773489302102101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446316548149712,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cade74,2019/04/13,"Why don’t I feel it care about anything anymore I don’t know why but over these past couple of months I just don’t care about anything, my willingness to continue living more so than anything. It’s not that I want to die and I wouldn’t kill myself or anything, it’s just that I honestly don’t care if I did die, I’m just tired of living to be honest. I don’t know if I’m depressed because I don’t feel sad, I just don’t feel or care about anything. All my life I’ve been an A honor roll student with a 4.0 gpa but this semester my highest grade is a D and then mostly Fs because I just don’t care. My social life and relationships with friends and family has went to shit because I don’t feel like talking to anyone anymore, I’ve dropped most of my hobbies like the piano, hiking, and kayaking and just sit in my room all day. I almost feel bad for feeling this way because I’ve lived such a good life and nothing bad has really happened to me except things not working or with a girl whom I thought I loved and I still have to force myself to go to prom with her in a week, but it doesn’t seem like that’d be reason to just not give a shit about anything including my own life even though she is what’s usually on my mind 24/7. I don’t know if I need to get help or just force myself to continue living doing the bare minimum, I probably won’t get help though because just like pretty much everything right now I just don’t care enough to ask for help. Idk what my goal is to posting this here, just felt like I needed to get it off my chest I guess cause I don’t really talk to anyone about how I feel",6.070130337849427,4.469363078717205,6.624596124163954,83.50398730920942,66.9008746355685,9.703241296518607,31.25518778940148,8.313332769828598,2.0176895558223293,1268,38,284,14,17,417,157,343,0.132,0.649,0.22,0.9864,0,0,0,0,0,2,19.0,0,0,0,3,25,25,3,0,10,0,27,9,3,3,2,64,61,23,3,7,25,0,8,5,1,2,5,0,1,1,16,12,0,0,14,0,0,2,18,7,0,0,5,8,40,17,37,51,8,23,0,2,0,1,16,7,2,12,15,179,56,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347511218550136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455378519940022,0.10261191802691616,0.0,0.3622914367946988,0.0,0.0685963257125257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253120202723565,0.2236455692663808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488681790015087,0.07537700254729125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118875866817751,0.0,0.04732122261779457,0.0,0.06319833793533361,0.0,0.15230467579986995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581665872872112,0.0,0.048463923352432235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594530095729663,0.0,0.06917203048434012,0.0,0.2597065255492217,0.05241957745244005,0.07045212873015222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05668984347733035,0.0,0.11500724252848275,0.07038860743522439,0.04170107158957171,0.06154401209409944,0.0,0.0,0.08083154849996255,0.0,0.06488584302642107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147546450092564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117928278863419,0.0,0.12097601128259393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073095600791401,0.17923817584990445,0.0,0.25916816526103736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622438691981268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408848723628238,0.0,0.05856774203276732,0.0,0.05393954384630173,0.10881422621465547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040591302025692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004535845668053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027358769393817,0.07464941283838519,0.07911135867731549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401263774837668,0.0754423866395618,0.0,0.07877798567205044,0.0,0.06266240230702498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667984339643053,0.0,0.0,0.15063809606915776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747972325231249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859788711959096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179531325696898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874751998914514,0.0,0.14418240283815068,0.05825206821710911,0.0,0.08433451315704273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808129096228438,0.0,0.0432788581723751,0.05824217387166696,0.058857518717650735,0.0,0.0,0.0680199606336153,0.1324202185826408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341834550117655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HijackerPolice,2019/04/13,"Feeling listless/melancholy whenever I actually have free time I'm in high school, and when I'm going to school I feel fine. There's work I need to do, and I have very little free time on a daily basis. But when I am actually free, (during breaks and weekends to a lesser extent), I have no motivation to do anything. I end up wasting hours and hours on my computer, just clicking through reddit mostly. Up until some time last year, I would just spend my free time playing video games and it was fine and a fun way to spend my time. But for some reason, I just got bored of all video games. A game can barely hold my attention for 30 mins before I feel zero motivation to keep playing it. It's after I got bored of games that I began to feel bored during my free time. So I've been searching for other things to do but I have no motivation to do them either. I managed to force myself to try learning programming but I get bored of that really easily too. While I'm hanging out with my friends it's alright, but I feel very little motivation to actually go out to hang out with them. This feeling is accompanied by a tightening in the chest somewhat. I think I feel anxious when I'm not doing anything, especially not doing something productive, but at the same time, I feel no motivation to do anything. I guess it is kind of like how you might feel when you are depressed, but I don't feel sad or hopeless.

​

I'm near the end of a week long spring break right now and this feeling has started to sink in after 5 days of not going to school. Despite how I feel right now, I'm sure that I'm going to be fine again when I start going to school again. Maybe I'm just a workaholic?  But I don't feel motivation to do random chores either. The longer I'm on break, the worse it gets. Winter break was especially rough and I think I almost felt depressed. I'm concerned for how summer break is going to go, so I'm desperately trying to find some sort of passion or interest before that. I do exercise, just not on a daily basis. I have a martial arts class I attend twice a week but maybe that's not enough. I also take violin lessons and earn some money tutoring middle schoolers. All this is great, but I just feel extremely listless in my free time, when I should be having fun.

​

Just made this post to vent but I'm also wondering if there's anyone else who's felt like this, and what they might have done to deal with it.",4.30258751353302,5.288655417177914,5.318095152171299,82.55102219415377,70.49284253578732,7.961530133525804,26.856790568988327,8.219915518859313,1.6482161193311682,1925,61,384,27,34,634,207,489,0.078,0.752,0.17,0.9907,0,0,1,0,0,1,56.0,0,2,3,9,27,30,0,0,15,1,36,3,1,11,3,99,86,39,0,4,28,0,17,2,1,4,1,0,1,0,21,16,0,2,30,11,9,10,10,8,0,2,10,18,45,28,57,70,13,78,0,4,1,1,12,21,0,16,42,248,66,18,0.0,0.0,0.2009374608996064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872936636807941,0.0,0.0,0.10977689080944328,0.0,0.1487348619034098,0.16680129833261512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775395122505384,0.0,0.04799211527570076,0.07032602743730837,0.16944554523861075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168089168821798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04426475237047175,0.07076103868197732,0.11823273466653765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023879190548098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733684346554365,0.0,0.12158282565509212,0.07091967279225411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.485864244687077,0.0,0.131803273867235,0.0,0.06273235885514827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302825549780313,0.0,0.07171929534240669,0.0,0.27305324202699444,0.0,0.1097894805001669,0.07567179213630815,0.07561065163027213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07251804721133627,0.0,0.0,0.13518591148920145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061007120531085375,0.0,0.07147417187742798,0.0,0.055947766764335716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706448422444293,0.13758326087597714,0.0,0.060740988982925986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494535157327146,0.0,0.0,0.13790883038659826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562459155099486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05089296631956613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573462783455397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04397018820961208,0.07056957487784422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723009540401468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27785450644162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283959731123456,0.0,0.0,0.09716229015536912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06468892533118152,0.0,0.05160597553802965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045598925421312296,0.08795877305582915,0.0,0.0,0.3201791509453167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319912040410323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326431487447565,0.0,0.0544803211187076,0.11011184187779287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443316812437324,0.04996806305593472,0.0,0.06994628034185991,0.04875727698461908,0.0,0.16680129833261512,0.04419954385535127
mentalhealth,shutupfruitcup,2019/04/13,"What should I do to help her? Any advice? So, my ex girlfriend of one year broken up with me about two weeks ago. Kinda sad but that’s really not the issue here. I’m over that. What I’m more concerned about is her mental health. During the duration of our relationship, she got sad quite often and she said she’s been suffering from depression and anxiety for over 5 years (started at around age 11-12) and she’s been hospitalized twice. (once while we were together) She would constantly say sorry for getting sad all the time and “stressing me out” but in reality I was okay with it and I wouldn’t let that hinder our relationship because I loved her a lot. I would constantly reassure her that her mental health wasn’t taking a toll on me and I was doing okay. I would tell her that I would do everything in my power to make her feel safe and happy in this world and bring her back on her feet so we can continue what we called “our road to a long happy life.” We were walking in the park one day and she broke down crying for what seemed like no apparent reason. I hugged her and kisses her and did what I could to comfort her. She then asked me if we could take a short break so she could sort out her mental health and get her life in track because she believed that she could not see a happy future together with her problems and all the things going on in her life at the time. I agreed and I suggested some things she could do while on her “break” like consistent exercise, journaling, yoga and all that jazz. She took it into consideration and she had a bright smile on her face, ready to take on the world. My smile widened as well as I realized she was taking a step in the right direction in tackling her mental health. After that day she takes a few days off to get herself together, or so I thought. After only three or four days of not texting or communicating in any way, she texts me saying she’s been thinking a lot and she’s decided she’s not ready for a committed relationship. I’m saddened by this but it’s for the sake of her mental health so I agree. We agreed to remain friends though. After being friends for a while, I feel as if she’s just let herself go, not caring about her mental health whatsoever. She’s been sadder than usual on social media and I feel as if she let me go because she didn’t want to “disappoint” me anymore, which she wasn’t. And to add to this she was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, on top of her depression and anxiety. After that point, she’s put in little to no effort into tackling her mental health. I was talking to her just yesterday and she was talking about her going down a “bad path” recently and after getting her to elaborate a little more, she wouldn’t budge and gave me little information as to what she meant, saying she has little care and respect for herself and she doesn’t have much longer if she continues this path. I gave her advice and suggested she goes down another path, but I felt as if my advice was thrown in the garbage as all she said was “Idk I’m just a mess.” I want to help her so badly. I’ve already accepted the fact that we’re no longer in a relationship and we’re just friends, but I still care a whole lot about her despite that and I want to do something to help her. She’s only 18 and she has a whole life ahead of her, and I don’t want it to go to waste. Any advice? Anything I can do to help her? And sorry for the lengthy post, I have a lot to say about the situation. Hope you all have a good ass day!",3.6169147745442913,4.914086919491528,4.619811320754717,85.73375919411578,72.46045197740114,7.942266282912269,24.940411469992537,8.451235370850725,1.4621978147319052,2761,82,575,46,53,900,266,708,0.125,0.706,0.16899999999999998,0.988,2,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,9,1,0,5,23,38,0,1,32,2,51,20,3,2,7,118,97,62,0,23,22,1,4,2,4,7,14,6,0,0,28,47,0,1,14,3,0,10,15,13,1,6,28,12,119,25,95,53,16,94,0,8,2,4,113,45,1,18,37,419,147,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981541745335369,0.04493803728981642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594316640937333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034229658531147,0.05315810230612823,0.07756303546254882,0.0,0.05027579385051743,0.0,0.0,0.0417176455942396,0.0451292764239505,0.0473929590573869,0.0,0.0,0.038981307178631394,0.08465637453040438,0.09270956014781544,0.0,0.0,0.05711587769083964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176523833325738,0.0,0.15506071942347366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956651824653793,0.0,0.2023790654560544,0.0,0.05568605046725165,0.16347032751209828,0.0,0.08732701675061441,0.0514543333194929,0.0,0.0,0.05810083427731415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556137542109676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689870893921849,0.0,0.04867512680499395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750043765391635,0.0,0.10594412999704016,0.0,0.14405561507595824,0.042520540496972695,0.04054540322407352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189723323557487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772047207247663,0.0,0.0,0.13591909470690114,0.0,0.0,0.050351549604060006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05291238377043943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155517142345709,0.14322944255367784,0.0495340089507104,0.2032387352116458,0.0,0.04486345830806618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239622223390375,0.045754194926480266,0.0,0.033839290001641764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576202841691676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03726664025410202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398849472548869,0.06870445520120504,0.07711162700301992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04792313819839087,0.0,0.048551773433928316,0.0,0.0,0.0485082453377289,0.0,0.05096245272858856,0.0,0.053920346934725805,0.0,0.0,0.03247649961863905,0.05212287836209032,0.1001103454366176,0.21770972779069167,0.0,0.043293232343376994,0.09644506204317352,0.16125871802449185,0.0,0.0,0.04039733221458742,0.04615080200118958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056983276839132686,0.0,0.05167714366262352,0.0,0.03902746910581145,0.0,0.11349774990599094,0.03588216479918476,0.0,0.040485073161885834,0.0,0.058070923502236825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905815636824974,0.08149340251827912,0.04430964332359238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735897863324904,0.0324832935213492,0.049807556334292034,0.0402461481040733,0.05912129613820165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632398342753285,0.0,0.0,0.04952162509173673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05583335371510128,0.0,0.11960484076127673,0.04023931213576787,0.040664451715606315,0.0,0.045580871469008105,0.0,0.0,0.1131982601248556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14404902520300858,0.0,0.0,0.06529180463451101
mentalhealth,JODB19,2019/04/13,"How are people happy? How do some people just find it so easy to be happy? The way things are going for me right now I’m starting to feel like it’s impossible for me to be happy. Just with a lot that has gone on especially in the last year, it just feels like I’m stuck getting hit with a constant wave of shit and I don’t know how to get away from it anymore. I’ve not thought about harming myself, but I’m starting to understand why and how people get to the point where they feel like they need to do that. 

All I want is to be happy, is that really too much to ask for?",3.260806451612904,3.4388355645161326,4.634032258064519,89.44604838709681,72.38709677419354,7.490322580645162,23.56451612903225,7.1686216300943375,0.6178096774193547,446,10,105,4,8,149,74,124,0.029,0.779,0.192,0.9605,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,12,9,1,0,5,0,11,1,1,4,1,25,32,8,0,2,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,7,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,3,7,7,20,25,4,15,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,2,9,70,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385243483763458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058130500278095,0.0,0.1312333152076735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094371845319418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118781769704048,0.29936079346815825,0.0,0.0,0.1276643641872954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21893003244922127,0.0,0.07938297411148859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5947649162158506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676409906421412,0.11385728517176345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047207747559401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875035936030992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026803688614864,0.10357044283629134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29050815104343497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204210182776335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948214643000245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928537254534695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337881047944429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977314773753121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279673087022762,0.0,0.0,0.11088977445787823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454110938606939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823864794575588,0.11087093938870264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260388568313455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994889984435547
mentalhealth,Spritzzy,2019/04/13,Just had a attempt Stood there extension cord around my neck the only thing that stopped me this time was my dog whining at my feet,4.2723076923076935,5.89495161538462,3.549230769230772,92.77076923076923,71.30769230769229,6.7384615384615385,28.384615384615394,7.1686216300943375,1.2712923076923075,106,4,22,1,2,31,24,26,0.142,0.858,0.0,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,2,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,15,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5271995241768321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4504084298027704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49512071568128496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3934432844755291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3453270433584437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,earthxtone00,2019/04/13,"Is it normal to randomly cry over a death that happened a while ago? So somebody I knew of in my community passed away by suicide three months ago. I didn’t know him personally, but knew of him/my brother was friends with him. I was absolutely crushed for the first two months. I experienced every stage of grief, yet knew the family/friends obviously had it worse. Now, it’s not all consuming anymore. I’ll feel little emotion about it sometimes, but other times I just cry. Some days I feel peace about the whole thing (not closure) and some days I dwell on it. So is it normal to randomly cry while sometimes not feeling much?",4.1164999999999985,6.134970983333336,4.626666666666669,83.265,72.5,7.8000000000000025,29.5,8.548686976883017,2.2364,498,21,96,9,10,158,78,120,0.223,0.698,0.079,-0.9607,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,1,5,0,6,0,0,0,2,23,14,7,3,2,6,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,2,0,3,7,4,10,1,14,7,5,19,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,4,12,65,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26779169165720085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980004353338502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419155300967785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4977607798097883,0.1948282487635111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16990982114044034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12726531724863835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291247748569857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284822224870706,0.0,0.0,0.2334002022004513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357215290574487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301259321125927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139080385729858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411317794225017,0.0,0.11103841242180656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.295991945173506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189018135609573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987826937179402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522311579658674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035025962619593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880779004861164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475529479781608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864084080924258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393185973877546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,2headedboys,2019/04/13,"I somehow managed to convince my self I’m pregnant. I somehow managed to convince my self I’m pregnant. Although i know I’m not, I’m an extremely anxious person. I took a test 12 days after i got my period and it came out negative. Yet, a part of me still doesn’t feel sure since I’m on the pill. The problem is that i know I’m not but i can’t get rid of my need to look every symptom up. I’ve stressed my self out because i don’t want to be/ can’t be pregnant right now. It’s seriously eating me alive and i know it’s just my stress and anxiety picking at me but it’s torturing me. What should i do to de-stress?",-0.8983984542722183,1.1287195036496378,2.109145556032633,94.29471017604122,91.18978102189779,4.975354229282955,23.38729068269644,6.522977012572876,0.6346980678402749,480,21,112,6,17,169,76,137,0.173,0.753,0.07400000000000001,-0.9293,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,1,2,5,0,9,3,0,1,1,23,26,6,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,6,6,1,0,4,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,3,2,20,3,13,20,1,14,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,2,6,69,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959986942761044,0.17661999102484302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530357016282387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788116056017135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082653268605432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997511429506386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172341024269502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905033193054223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168133208495892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503958625576095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577615513937752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128644139759635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159243203071218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930126413836144,0.0,0.0,0.13651028293757958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14959651266758772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351372608069764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4892909568289833,0.0,0.0,0.12932627697131305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485353197056755,0.0,0.5372617118700925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14734884292905376,0.162497389650083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736997791126536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922135347891706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shitheadddz,2019/04/13,"Do all therapists really just sit there and let you complain? How do you find a good therapist? I’ve went to therapists, psychologists, and counselors many times over the course of my life, but I’ve never once felt like therapy left me with a better understanding of my mental health, my behavior, my relationships, or my identity than I could’ve gotten on my own. I understand that, for most people, it can incredibly helpful to just talk it out and a lot more beneficial for people to come to their own conclusions/breakthroughs without being outright *told* those things, but I don’t think that this helps me more than honest introspection does on its own.


TLDR; How do I find a therapist/counselor/psychologist who isn’t just gonna bullshit me for $200 an hour? Do I just have unrealistic expectations?",9.864489795918367,8.749620074829934,9.617687074829934,63.5118367346939,59.13605442176871,13.570068027210887,38.68707482993197,12.540900571622839,4.962050340136053,649,26,111,19,7,212,99,147,0.063,0.779,0.158,0.9472,0,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,0,2,1,1,7,5,0,0,6,0,10,2,0,2,2,27,19,8,0,1,8,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,6,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,4,1,17,4,17,12,8,11,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,3,4,81,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981425745046002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669740760703667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816362354207447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855273962139815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007467150156762,0.0,0.2476384912508713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362775405539108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400074052982115,0.0,0.0,0.1816084800931298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341294576878604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719107139316348,0.13852962509663286,0.09568810557064047,0.06618493227796088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517372140099692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734766863013165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365242345055943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448460430952868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442735988016278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783889740479284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678703676190218,0.0,0.0,0.1454465719140382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888751871749232,0.0,0.0,0.15492440374087882,0.6291752173137203,0.09000178934821029,0.08680519212627909,0.0,0.0,0.07899499887008495,0.0,0.0,0.12944960670641498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820629243253191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558419730446593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059048154145053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PutridDiver,2019/04/13,"Anger Issues Inquiry hi, made this alt to express issues I have   


i have this irresistible anger that comes every now and then, the symptoms being extreme tension in my arms (feels like there are elastic bands all over my skin), light headedness, raised voice and slamming my head/arms onto walls or tables without even realising it, just doing it like a reflex and wanting to punch people trying to calm me down   


ties into perfectionism too, I am an artist and if I do even a minor, tiny fuck up i want to smash my head through my monitor. my family does have a history of OCD if that means anything  


i'm still on a long ass waiting list trying to get help or even a diagnosis, i really don't want to be this unapproachable angry prick but it's just getting harder and harder to control.",7.502533112582783,6.968789609271525,7.712971854304638,73.38283526490068,63.50331125827815,10.199006622516556,33.44453642384106,9.516144504307137,3.026595364238412,625,22,112,10,8,204,105,151,0.099,0.815,0.086,-0.596,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,9,8,4,1,7,0,10,7,5,2,1,24,22,11,0,5,8,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,7,0,2,2,2,0,2,2,5,0,0,1,4,13,3,17,19,1,14,0,0,0,2,4,8,3,4,6,76,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317894811329626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498769820359811,0.0,0.0,0.19514458378890065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15225982471166086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447562694604422,0.0,0.1465940822213223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16402229074855573,0.0,0.08797457367143575,0.12429849338840873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085095475756578,0.1818051914925068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571278797703132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662183190973725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3632007196237679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000545443956255,0.0,0.0,0.153975678103958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16463354837711622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18952612091663856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062276116191575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146245162120738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894864168482832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18084223339818647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362555829795273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078714362746034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167720154692433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thorawauayaya,2019/04/13,"Is this a warning sign for schizophrenia, or is this just another manifestation of anxiety? I have a history of mental illness. I had been hospitalized 4 times throughout my pre-teen and teen years, but I haven't been to a hospital in a while now. My father had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, he was diagnosed with the kind where mood changes are a lot quicker. I forget what the exact term was, but he also had a heat stroke and my mom claims apparently his bipolar disorder only got worse (faster mood changes) after that. I have never been formally diagnosed with disorders aside from PTSD from childhood abuse, anxiety and depression. I do doubt the depression diagnosis though for a few reasons but the most compelling reason is because I have been unmedicated and out of therapy for 3 years now and I haven't had a bout of depression (or mania) that entire time. I have been doing well overall. I have some trouble holding a job down so I have job hopped a bit but other than that I'm fairly healthy. I eat enough, try to sleep enough, pay my bills and socialize. The only thing that is really hurting me is my anxiety. It leads to arguments between my SO and I, my family, it indirectly led to me leaving two of my jobs and in general it just weighs on me. I was talking to my SO about my past and I told him about a time in my life where I had a weird behavior keep popping up where I was convinced certain new people I met were other people I already knew on disguise. This only was an issue during the worst times of my life (in and out of hospitals) but I'm very embarrassed about it. There were 5 people in total I had suspicions about, and one of them I ended up confiding in about it. I didn't get a good reaction, part of me thinks they thought I was being edgy and they made it clear they thought I was being weird so I stopped. The other day I met a new security guard at the front desk of my job and it ended up happening again. It's not like I get obsessed about it and it drives me insane but it just makes me feel insane. In the past I used to almost enjoy it because the ""disguised"" people were those I cared about most in my life and it made me feel comfortable in the hospital during my recovery. But now it's been years and it just scares me having this come up while my life is generally going well. My SO tries to reassure me it's anxiety just manifested as paranoia. I want to believe that's the case but I also need to make sure I don't fall down the rabbit hole I did when I was younger. When I was 14 my therapist said I seem like a very paranoid person, I used to always think that if someone was being nice to me there was a reason and it was almost always a bad reason. I used to not let people walk behind me or hug me, used to jump to conclusions, shower with the curtains open- you get the idea. Then again I had been diagnosed with PTSD so I really don't want to assume those past ""indicators"" were just symptoms of PTSD. I have no other symptoms of schizophrenia and people even say I'm like a ball of sunshine now. I can express and feel emotions very well and I haven't been medicated or gone to therapy in years so I may just be overthinking but is this something that warrants a visit to a doctor? I don't have health insurance so I don't want to waste my money if I'm going to be told it's just anxiety again. Thanks in advance",3.7620111796565014,5.133629289512559,5.117044052480669,82.01927506009794,72.205317577548,8.44126625539433,27.602427086048607,8.95278374424137,2.1625334897326725,2667,97,529,53,51,891,278,677,0.166,0.7290000000000001,0.105,-0.9918,6,0,1,0,1,0,54.0,0,1,4,3,44,35,0,4,36,0,68,21,1,15,6,108,110,52,0,6,25,2,4,3,0,1,17,2,2,1,38,29,2,5,16,1,3,13,12,13,3,2,46,7,84,20,76,57,12,73,0,4,1,1,23,26,0,17,37,393,122,8,0.0,0.07062468426651708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937583091742662,0.0,0.06577793364509328,0.09533557668585783,0.09919578943966624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625032573344958,0.2279963991773944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0497694512475977,0.07267188812116794,0.0,0.0,0.0671568067015926,0.0,0.0,0.06507553149015859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060773426364896924,0.0,0.12611284813130294,0.051346251611718165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03844165801180262,0.0,0.15401856246065346,0.2419998680857671,0.0,0.0,0.2049447537801896,0.061010407988720435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060992959594061986,0.0,0.06704998149478462,0.10558842315041424,0.1231801675957154,0.0,0.03936993730005285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619228313980778,0.0,0.0904174450366782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342677220892187,0.0,0.06775219422032444,0.04999562003509952,0.047673255091971366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052710374953229285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633595759077693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381064944842607,0.06728917745021666,0.0,0.062214341662157314,0.2366034564990491,0.052981542607821265,0.0,0.062071637699293976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311532821409298,0.0,0.06095231360957665,0.16840907251079315,0.0873630765755877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050675837616095634,0.0,0.1128033869359871,0.0795764242601796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06004789739218532,0.060069952193169074,0.0,0.0,0.06981113269289872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04419792050543668,0.04597268176250708,0.11513784623601335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040391323779180525,0.13600169090768433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06454869689149717,0.17070520790559396,0.2479444098987672,0.052046633678465015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20903258299427105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637168841346842,0.2451441671502091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05670001627231665,0.0474019703152277,0.059677120676419476,0.0,0.0,0.054264078823994685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596501625617121,0.06076194725793105,0.05050491512075405,0.04588846927956272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04983421718340095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056179000481457186,0.1239092313169096,0.0,0.047909941172565536,0.0,0.05487822303837065,0.13633186166502145,0.06920845475169693,0.03960031860295932,0.07638766494502151,0.05856368786147882,0.0946427822868736,0.1390295524544693,0.0,0.0,0.11391430560938615,0.0,0.08093863676430117,0.0,0.058227490118179286,0.0,0.0,0.2059256365595398,0.0,0.1475463373511464,0.10547346241080427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607818647786579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06074474257972212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535401110973821
mentalhealth,Jaularnic,2019/04/13,I had sex with my sister. I want to kill myself This might not be the sub for this but I have to talk to someone about this. I feel fucking twisted. I have a problem. I've had sex with so many women I lost count a long time ago. I've had sex with a guy. Multiple guys have given me a blowjob. Last night my sister and I were very drunk and ended up having sex. I'm fucking married and she is in a serious relationship. I definitely have some sort of mental issue. I can't stop fucking thinking about it. It's making me want to puke. I feel like she has to remember but today she was acting normal. I was trying to. We are with a bunch of people yesterday and today. I don't think I will ever get over this. I have been considering the option of killing myself. I just can't do that to my parents. But I need help. I need someone to talk to me because I'm going crazy. I wish I could take it back. I now have to have this memory for the rest of my life. I can't fucking take it. What the fuck is wrong with me how did this happen. I really truly believe this broke me and I will never be the same. Please help me,-0.4835854341736692,1.666816831932774,2.130050420168068,93.92132212885154,90.76470588235294,4.6859383753501405,17.17703081232493,6.2581,-0.2696391036414565,858,22,193,9,30,295,124,238,0.166,0.716,0.118,-0.9424,2,0,0,0,0,2,25.0,1,0,0,1,8,13,7,0,11,0,31,11,0,2,2,39,55,10,2,8,5,3,2,1,0,3,1,0,0,3,13,11,1,1,5,1,0,2,6,12,0,0,10,2,39,1,26,39,4,19,0,2,0,9,15,3,5,4,15,140,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999218490807522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867377907545484,0.0,0.06876306458202057,0.0,0.0,0.12708924883427586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006323442252819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990910856891276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203588539538712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407218156640304,0.08058578583846351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5214182504811583,0.05893439987303279,0.0,0.0641079876578676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22338346960306898,0.09975045401347343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121763287991355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773600230421705,0.0,0.0,0.2495974448958641,0.0,0.0,0.0919487020264382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967540288721853,0.05510936926655795,0.0,0.0,0.09982623828950504,0.0,0.0,0.1231367302865232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529622446970842,0.11436354360309944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367790514017508,0.11966511757873895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672825374807399,0.0869998720763428,0.0,0.0,0.10585705462949792,0.1105220297535479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525329431976162,0.0,0.0,0.07820271777441147,0.0,0.0,0.12382274447420312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079362991777935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226386266250874,0.0,0.0,0.12110715482041524,0.12778269955583896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19115357148103576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430753990767687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962616175610232,0.18133198209888396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455795971962,0.0,0.0,0.06577576516449016,0.0,0.21384625129338916,0.0,0.0,0.07658516726199104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307348032755287,0.13306710834045118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971675639109292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333130123600745,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Janeshou27191,2019/04/13,"I feel so ugly I’m going crazy All throughout the year this guy and I would just make eye contact as we passed by each other . I’ve never spoken to him and we have no classes together . Around this time I was beginning to gain confidence hence my friends motivated me to make a move and so I did . I went up to him as he was passing by with my # in a note and he took it immediately but did not even look at me or face my direction . I waited all day and the following days and never received anything . I was devastated that night I cried so much because i felt so stupid . I spoke about it with my friends and they all told me that it’s okay to feel that way and that it would go away . They were right , it did go away because it shifted into self hatred . My brain automatically assumed I never got a text because he thought I was ugly . Ever since then I’ve spent every single day for the past 3 months wondering why I never received a response . I still saw him around school and he still continued to look at me and be around me . I became so self conscious and whenever I felt his eyes on me from afar i got so much anxiety . I changed my look , got new glasses even to just attempt to make myself feel better . I cannot anymore , I cry almost daily because I feel horrible about myself . No one has ever called me ugly and I’ve realized I’m the only one who has .  My friends always remind me of how beautiful i am but i can’t believe them I just always think “ if I am so beautiful as they say , why didn’t he ever text me ?” , I don’t want to put the blame on him but before the situation never once did I feel this way about myself , I was so happy . My whole world shifted just within three months . I am always complaining to my friends about how ugly I am and I feel like a total burden . I feel the need to constantly check myself out every hour , at times I get anxious if I can’t view myself .",1.9307362637362644,3.751672212820517,3.8536630036630046,87.28038461538462,78.15384615384616,6.508424908424907,23.194139194139193,7.447530270364453,0.9525985347985352,1473,47,309,20,35,499,184,390,0.149,0.727,0.124,-0.906,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,2,0,4,4,28,11,1,0,12,1,25,4,4,6,12,73,63,33,0,6,11,0,9,1,4,2,0,2,0,3,15,23,0,1,16,0,2,12,13,3,0,3,23,18,68,8,40,37,9,57,0,0,7,0,32,17,0,6,27,221,83,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909057828489426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19716182806643456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060422170616049965,0.08922888697940859,0.07833042056122477,0.0,0.0,0.06499670067740326,0.2109362139017976,0.0,0.0,0.1484152193076284,0.0,0.0,0.19259046366040447,0.0,0.06720915143875426,0.08898737101096812,0.0,0.06985449797967609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817172098784741,0.08065099680279544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355408302673213,0.0,0.0,0.08535311723966041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735193586584617,0.15281349360340762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433572974264936,0.21433532592403912,0.1330940310537608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795550585644669,0.05642583686971742,0.1516731158872345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440898622751305,0.0,0.041265625180057774,0.0,0.13466445041113465,0.0,0.18951098986973616,0.0,0.0,0.07820609480982495,0.0,0.08407941738819345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777828494619821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03858735443073153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19897877312903609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816632305416506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260877717210516,0.08394697370270449,0.11612393879595145,0.0585652734711893,0.3045847687895179,0.07628276822284452,0.0,0.07412067567357361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411486270885547,0.10704254389977833,0.060070520132072286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539869952869224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940024511459393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06745148782721085,0.0,0.06281085903675096,0.0,0.0799355310357479,0.0,0.0,0.16479405769644376,0.0,0.0,0.06533597745295912,0.08878077694878654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261526696784255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050609445378549785,0.0,0.06270408611218688,0.09211184221972037,0.0,0.0,0.07547213063421954,0.08775358819156062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658652186499837,0.1253868711476011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732185070755148,0.1425406692523541,0.08818227066431099,0.0,0.0,0.08565424972792375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221524178349697,0.0,0.0,0.05086279225574013
mentalhealth,SlightSinger2,2019/04/13,"Could I have schizophrenia? I'm 27M, and I've been depressed and completely socially isolated for a year and a half. I got fired and had to declare bankruptcy due to medical bills, and my grandmother claims that I almost killed her from stress because I couldn't pay a student loan that she co-signed. I've messed up on so many things and the guilt has overwhelmed me to the point where I can't even stay afloat.

I look at myself in the mirror, 10 pounds overweight with no social skills, and I just feel hopeless. I'd rather remain alone than try to connect with anyone who is just going to hate me anyway.

I keep getting a lot of strange thoughts that are common in schizophrenia, and I'm wondering if I might have it now. 

Examples: I know that psychic abilities are fictional and impossible, but I still sometimes try to implant thoughts in other people's heads. Or the converse, I'll be anxious and thinking about something I don't want anyone else to know and be worried people I walk by can read my mind.

I was looking up things about illegal drugs and how people find dealers just out of curiosity, and I got very afraid that I was going to get arrested and have my phone and computer seized by the police, which are my lifelines. I tend to have a bias toward thinking law enforcement is omnipresent and reads through all my search history and posts I make online even though I know that is unlikely. 

I sometimes imagine a friend who died 5 years ago, and I think to myself that I caused his suicide and have conversations with him in my head. I don't believe in ghosts or spirits, but I feel like he's actually talking to me in the moment.

I was in Walmart and heard a weird, garbled voice coming out of the loudspeakers in the ceiling, and it continued for 3 minute or so . It sounded like someone was deliberately distorting his voice like you sometimes hear on news programs where an individual doesn't want his identity revealed. I couldn't understand anything he was saying, but I thought it was so weird. I'm questioning whether it was real and what the purpose would be if it was. I was like one of four people in the store early in the morning, so I couldn't exactly look around to see if other people were confused by it.",7.92670744568656,7.108739225058006,7.546510229909303,75.85138736553472,62.78190255220417,10.527778949588694,37.45633832524785,9.688023934748609,3.493245011600928,1790,77,333,29,22,566,233,431,0.155,0.7959999999999999,0.049,-0.9891,0,1,2,0,0,2,35.0,0,1,0,1,20,17,2,5,19,0,38,5,2,3,2,81,73,38,4,11,14,0,3,4,1,2,3,6,0,0,22,29,1,1,17,2,4,4,8,12,0,3,18,13,47,5,48,46,2,38,1,3,4,0,22,22,0,12,14,229,69,6,0.0,0.0,0.08993386661912467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169337179242282,0.0,0.09228390226626848,0.09544890558658947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041134110269664,0.0,0.1288793978380459,0.09442776189791367,0.07583898490838313,0.08204102760091575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561792564653893,0.0,0.0,0.10383160709392372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946726548526607,0.0,0.0793867976299599,0.09662693308340796,0.0,0.0,0.07358144340251876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937639110629059,0.0,0.09564646720596903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687515378227846,0.0,0.07698699898225797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217402691350587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931966948061392,0.06583839096763754,0.0,0.0,0.08423163459003906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120179635444422,0.0,0.0962985226218848,0.0,0.10475213988799004,0.0,0.1474159042014302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098790920508852,0.18916339476689084,0.0,0.10386986401855183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191513244114415,0.1019602526090511,0.0,0.15194448936096866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18009688244647035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23217098737548475,0.0,0.0,0.0783502658768488,0.0,0.0,0.06151683219868169,0.09343473688124657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092840472843593,0.0,0.09776610992080076,0.09305429432903843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624493073245526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194571507861397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712002086455163,0.0,0.0882628240467951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323914484772663,0.0,0.1843678313327208,0.10489709101326687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732885168158515,0.0,0.0,0.07343877211958652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788894063950767,0.0780860014150396,0.0709484823116843,0.2734427516999287,0.0,0.0,0.09822920642177503,0.07359827739087466,0.0,0.10556779579406853,0.0,0.0,0.10080696188850667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407389410022162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224526574125854,0.17715525207973454,0.09054572613947792,0.2194917983895156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513979064804806,0.0,0.0,0.09594074432112146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604080698310138,0.1087155037665467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999424783835722,0.0,0.09359191377188887,0.0,0.0654670924786485,0.0,0.0,0.11869471816505167
mentalhealth,Dpad1992,2019/04/13,"So I just figured out I have borderline personality disorder and I don't really know what to do yeah...well, my life suddenly makes a whole lot more sense lol >.<

Haven't told anyone yet because I'm terrified they'll hate me and run away (go figure! Lol....). I've pretty much destroyed every relationship I've ever been in due to how unstable I am. Had a few suicide attempts, huge issues with alcohol abuse, eating disorders, severe anger problems, paranoid delusions, etc, etc, etc...

My family has always been kind of terrified of me due to how unstable I am, and I've basically cut them out of my life in order to survive. I don't have any friends anymore other than one or two because I cut them all out because they ""hate me"" or ""I'm disgusting"" or ""they were lying to me and never liked me at all"", etc...

I really am down to only one good friend, and she's recent. She's really the only person I feel comfortable telling, but I am terrified she'd never look at me the same way again, and eventually would (yes , yes I know) abandon me. She's really the one who helped me understand I had something seriously wrong with me, even if I think she didn't realize it at the time. I'm just terrified if I tell her she'll look up how fucking disasterous personal relationships with BPD people can be, and cut her losses. She'll still be nice to me sure, but we'll never be close again. She might even see that BPD people attach themselves to new friends, thinking they're amazing and incredible, their ""best friend""...only to later do the emotional equivalent of dousing them with kerosene and lighting them on fire for no other reason than I woke up that day. 

I just don't know what to do. Knowing now, with clinical certainty, that my brain is actively trying to destroy me I honestly have no idea whether or not these feelings have any basis in reality. 

Any response at all would be much appreciated.",5.536885245901638,6.404991991803283,6.638920765027327,74.6267418032787,67.60655737704919,10.143715846994537,32.463114754098356,10.222266870305534,3.397586885245902,1503,63,276,37,24,505,195,366,0.207,0.674,0.119,-0.9822,0,0,2,0,1,1,67.0,1,0,8,4,15,28,10,0,7,4,36,7,1,5,8,64,58,22,1,5,13,0,3,1,3,7,4,0,0,3,10,18,2,1,14,0,0,2,11,16,0,4,8,7,51,12,38,38,15,38,0,2,3,1,32,17,1,8,18,195,61,0,0.0,0.09877930820955376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909671643292075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937016115480335,0.0,0.0,0.1700825001722931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826802117470438,0.058293942050109175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832845573226163,0.0,0.0,0.15246394888934778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08749122062208849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100021108117508,0.09306801251856453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05376647590386992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19109750091708572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853078837367782,0.0,0.09377954544227562,0.0,0.0,0.3719164349060656,0.11012962992024183,0.07541254940843768,0.0702424587468633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859341125432995,0.0,0.08430831952082563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576444930796755,0.07707382441873561,0.0,0.0,0.04738084810055478,0.06992644019388809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16462038139337867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558808656718875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411409718221593,0.0,0.08701617138434803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681657829764187,0.18327094231714292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777278618373573,0.04073016092895119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001888391596004,0.0,0.0,0.0708778274146679,0.0,0.0,0.055649835605262515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844193939126763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225724537128656,0.0,0.19289925674859384,0.08051885058354437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948013553670982,0.12681263010436047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559592578991874,0.2183852794297968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848168249799995,0.0,0.07977341954909177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21363472634608466,0.0857178035349646,0.082317392972245,0.17901543679891985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664347536997347,0.0,0.0,0.09418388432683257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418196834870049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657904659987443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911927785690106,0.0,0.07857483344663169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573735835273735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106839708770064,0.0,0.0,0.048613466930029256,0.0,0.0,0.07966319722438438,0.0,0.05660246576700419,0.0,0.08143995619077372,0.08679066295340464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661748844350955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307914803242516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184467016189882,0.0911515376382258,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EcceAgnusDei33AD,2019/04/13,"Slight problem Most of the time I'm sad. The only thing that I do that I enjoy daily is eat. I have to go to school do chores and homework and ""hangout"" with family the rest of the time (as in sit in the same room as they play video games with headphones on). I dont get any say in what I use my time for. I don't get enough sleep so I go to bed at a reasonable time but no I have to stay up. At this point life feels like I'm just giving other people extra life to live. What should I do?",-0.8754848484848488,0.9095329363636396,1.3940909090909095,101.3944696969697,87.81818181818181,4.393939393939394,13.712121212121213,5.46131890053228,-1.2845151515151518,373,5,97,2,12,125,71,110,0.063,0.841,0.096,0.5346,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,6,0,9,4,1,2,0,13,18,6,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,4,0,7,4,1,0,2,4,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,2,11,3,19,17,5,17,0,1,0,0,4,9,0,1,5,63,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267698189657876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286596964427807,0.0,0.0,0.19963945499474312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20159393550205648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839260933655968,0.0,0.0986501260105925,0.1393818864242437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386691633311094,0.1871609303985422,0.2217634825210284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756145600737345,0.09531765147045118,0.0,0.17227985006159208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838490448667535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526011086805864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844357475168169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18668757568747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005987586548128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515403060274446,0.0,0.1974550263881982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524427119826787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795423296042195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961800962159994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4550653758220888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16850666915413318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ChemicalChildhood7,2019/04/13,"What can I do to help my brother who's being neglected? (Autism, psychosis, sensory disorder) I'm 20M and my 12 year old brother has autism and psychosis. Our dad lives in Greece and doesn't want any contact with us, and our mom and step dad basically just ignore my brother when he's having mental health episodes and problems at school. They go out drinking almost night and leave him alone. Their house is disgusting with mold and crap everywhere because they never clean anything.

CPS noted their problems in a report, and they fixed them for like a month. Our mom and step dad told my brother that he's not welcome at home again if he ever tells anyone anything bad about them again. My brother is so terrified of abandonment that he just complies with every authority figure now and doesn't want to have his own opinions heard.

My brother's level of disability is severe according to his doctor. He's almost completely nonverbal. He writes very vivid, imaginative stories, but he can't sound out words to read anything aloud or understand people unless they talk slow enough for him to slowly break apart and visualize every syllable in his mind. 
My mom yells at him and refuses to accommodate his language deficit.

My brother is also amazing at math. He understands everything I'm learning as a physics major and does calculus problems for fun. But our mom insists he sit in a special Ed classroom and learn arithmetic with children who have Down syndrome. His teachers also claim he can't understand the books he wants to read and take them away. He's at a severe disadvantage because he has to sit down at a computer and slowly hunt and peck on the keyboard to write what he wants to tell them. He finds it so frustrating to try to communicate with his teachers who think he's stupid that he gives up and goes along with it. Between the bullies and bad teachers, he hates school and throws tantrums about having to go some days, and our mom abuses him in response.

He has episodes of psychosis where he believes black clouds are swirling around him and hands are coming out of the floor to claw his skin off. If he's very stressed, he gets those episodes even if he takes his meds. Our mom is of course out drinking while he's home alone scared out of his mind. She thinks he's alright alone because he takes care of himself when she's watching him.

I've had him come and stay with me several times, and he likes Chicago. The problem is that I'm in college with three other roommates and I'm poor. He can't stay with me forever. I would file for custody if I could, but I think what really needs to happen is that our mom needs to get it together like she's supposed to.",6.9535882352941165,7.280962280392162,6.3568627450980415,79.76588235294119,64.43137254901961,9.231372549019607,34.64705882352941,8.936278230431713,2.8869294117647053,2153,90,397,31,30,662,251,510,0.16,0.7809999999999999,0.059,-0.9943,0,3,2,0,1,0,40.0,8,0,10,0,17,26,6,2,11,1,27,7,3,0,2,94,58,43,0,16,12,17,2,3,0,1,2,3,3,1,16,44,2,4,11,5,1,7,7,17,0,1,3,8,52,9,67,52,4,55,0,2,3,0,99,28,1,9,18,228,68,15,0.0,0.07894137770963526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343341150088328,0.20701454073263045,0.0,0.1065622005462503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530823013869992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658672125744023,0.0,0.1644835269084912,0.059311613006148615,0.0,0.0,0.06259768691895808,0.0,0.11126050587388044,0.12184448741879787,0.0,0.0,0.07506512628923406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793004535461733,0.0,0.0,0.11478547152603095,0.06985650263783555,0.0,0.0,0.05319575123746142,0.0,0.0,0.04296850989722652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635961555460659,0.06819493370167029,0.05830520316256114,0.0,0.0,0.13053699517768266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884287156466387,0.0,0.0440061024425929,0.06026738448368917,0.11227121484645716,0.0,0.0598795035315434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060895313720131336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961907808611267,0.06391410466421693,0.07573062605731012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05891749692921602,0.0,0.0,0.06577976674381099,0.0,0.07082073732722949,0.0,0.0,0.044658265012218507,0.0,0.1336634037637838,0.0,0.0,0.07687790900706752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054772726507548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765086665454864,0.0,0.05883232331088027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400689980886692,0.0,0.06714373075546423,0.0,0.13454732236295322,0.5462241617131345,0.05318054910624493,0.0,0.0,0.09880524841522738,0.051386379606931536,0.0,0.0,0.06252435392651826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991318888307971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04619035000790967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550098298098824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328884074907854,0.0,0.042682571709764514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670463978518881,0.13485892804847174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258065698647803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420297343307381,0.0,0.0,0.07632030501261086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15028426130817354,0.05355176878210799,0.11646880364581448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280745019976156,0.0,0.0,0.03885038399496643,0.0,0.0,0.06366437116876934,0.0,0.04523494556097341,0.0,0.0,0.2080812661090811,0.0801433440724246,0.0,0.0,0.10994749939983953,0.15719188498067851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732947608384175,0.0,0.0,0.04290521093863555
mentalhealth,orangehandledscissor,2019/04/13,"Looking for recommendations of literature I’m going to a residential treatment facility for my PTSD next week. My husband and I have not told our daughter yet. She’s eight, and I have been a stay-at-home mom for her entire life. Although I have always been very open with her that “Mommy gets scared and sad some times” I’m afraid of how being gone for a month is going to impact her. She is very bright, but also very sensitive, and we have a close relationship.

I tried doing a search for ways to tell your child you’re going to rehab, but a lot of the language doesn’t apply to my situation (“Encourage your child to think of a time they wanted something so badly, but couldn’t have it, so that they can understand that that is how addiction feels for you” in example) and would probably be more confusing than helpful. 

Can anyone recommend books that might help a child understand that a parent going away doesn’t mean they are being abandoned, that maybe isn’t specific to rehab? Or just strategies about how to talk to her in general? My husband and I have a good support system of far-away friends who have already volunteered to send her mail “from me”—she loves getting mail—and local friends who will be helping my husband with her day-to-day life and keeping her busy. We are planning on talking to her tomorrow night with her godparents and my father to reinforce the idea that just because I’ll be going away for a while, she’ll still have Daddy, Poppa, Uncle T and Aunt Sari.

Thank you in advance.",8.465522167487684,7.16208852758621,8.194778325123156,73.2044827586207,62.0,11.182266009852217,35.886699507389174,10.125756701596842,3.4542561576354682,1203,44,222,21,14,386,161,290,0.055,0.81,0.135,0.9773,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,3,4,3,2,11,14,0,3,13,0,31,6,0,3,0,42,53,21,0,3,7,8,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,3,11,16,0,2,6,1,0,8,5,6,0,1,4,3,33,8,36,39,3,29,0,2,2,1,49,9,0,5,10,153,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515707036834406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126692879640163,0.09181147896539242,0.09552899822072823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027604078873499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235961449584219,0.0,0.09585942803691604,0.06998555795804726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808261925451707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805009799187895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773999073323799,0.0,0.11996431174521313,0.0,0.32623860738869603,0.09629504486744668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308590478302296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960364042116426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204613962152914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218379912207068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640934581820504,0.0,0.0,0.09760519128498607,0.103618209030833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153395180608618,0.12505897365665533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179256513318835,0.0,0.13446110179632606,0.09163821393716202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12209902910013586,0.1077390176990161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274800903993457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378185259857545,0.0,0.13420376921058375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326023940815638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494228912575588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904838780939495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08838438657369768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223694696536152,0.0916853805483309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302821375319713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18455576434775767,0.100346774571449,0.10569927817708136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356398038504383,0.0,0.0,0.13389029861121016,0.0,0.0,0.10970344164147576,0.0,0.07794672466564638,0.0,0.0,0.2390372156798003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28418451786939186,0.06771641054451641,0.09112881262233324,0.0920916139987265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155592087324974,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tinyemski,2019/04/13,"Why am I so confused ? Hi, this is my first time posting and struggled with mental health over the last 1 1/2 years especially, recently it’s got a lot worse to the point where idk wtfs going on around me like I’m on about if someone’s talking to me I can’t process the information and it’s like I’m in a daze that I can’t get out of. And I’m just confused all the time like about what ppl are saying to me, what I’m doing, what’s going on etc. I rlly don’t think this is normal and it’s rlly scaring me. Please someone tell me what’s going on and how to stop it and what to do.",0.8553986013986048,2.139446553846156,3.0883216783216803,93.97031468531469,79.61538461538461,5.650349650349653,21.048951048951047,6.11248444174946,-0.02215384615384597,452,12,110,3,11,155,73,130,0.154,0.769,0.077,-0.8352,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,7,8,0,4,6,0,9,1,0,1,1,20,19,9,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,12,9,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,1,1,10,3,17,18,3,21,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,4,10,69,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543025555679755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207252274634968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806896438199589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708977125795183,0.0,0.31683854612514945,0.0,0.14862716508018708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975311761214429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147822776587574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723650058940409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579880809148404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727537449979265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207631893858656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20398819642572105,0.1756717064277171,0.0,0.17797609275755813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348709908264466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477814018274149,0.18605067451704535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149104185368411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536422695849414,0.0,0.19427239744631988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14936506269394947,0.1624257289169001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907391330811112,0.0,0.0,0.21672076097814927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768485770275504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18937911551733508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196699878919324
mentalhealth,ESPn_weathergirl,2019/04/13,"Blue/uv light filter on glasses has helped with my anxiety I know this random, but I just got new glasses that have a blue/uv light filter applied to the lenses. The difference is like using warm white light globes instead of cool white, and I'm finding they're helping to notch down my anxiety a couple of levels, has anyone else with this type of filter noticed this good side effect?",7.55108108108108,7.2316918108108155,7.092567567567568,77.16290540540544,63.32432432432432,9.021621621621623,32.013513513513516,8.07648339933343,2.3691459459459465,310,10,54,3,4,97,53,74,0.043,0.753,0.203,0.9262,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,1,4,0,0,2,0,10,8,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,4,4,9,7,0,5,0,0,2,0,2,4,0,1,2,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034043390299916,0.0,0.0,0.1843599364042577,0.2701548342144196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917391015121574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754726680086466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202573642400087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24098403711911276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211487783076972,0.21087611503045714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534567222312169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14490278956127647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12881286827612234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546482473284438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001831091543819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277209629333805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CameronTheSquire,2019/04/13,"I have no idea what this is. I don’t know if this is the right place to post this, first time poster. I recently have gotten into a cycle about once every 2-3 days I start thinking about existence and reality etc. and it makes me stress out a lot and shake violently and cry, get short of breath, and mind gets cloudy and starts racing, and making me go into a panic and it’s been really hurting me. I don’t know how to stop it.  This is not the only thing that stresses me out, but this is by far the worst recently. What is this?",2.1763963963963997,3.571567540540542,3.7839639639639664,89.90045045045046,76.29729729729729,7.095495495495496,19.54054054054054,7.793537801064563,0.4281243243243238,411,8,93,6,9,137,72,111,0.203,0.797,0.0,-0.9565,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,3,7,1,4,6,0,10,1,1,3,0,25,21,11,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,13,12,0,1,4,0,0,2,4,7,0,1,2,0,9,0,10,19,3,19,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,2,8,65,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937317344599665,0.11374263326605287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966967052888696,0.0,0.0,0.14859746878770716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001835109951758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842897807256876,0.0,0.10023387880156867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880536569085,0.19909776605224666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938542486732176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994158710969002,0.0,0.0,0.2354537371533369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808118993494113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878259391048512,0.0,0.13413565085847198,0.0,0.20692959965422075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18426680137941875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891158915990706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298572169357712,0.0,0.3482838286444474,0.0,0.0,0.15061712802191293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24966805741816894,0.0,0.0,0.14745136870662792,0.40405741248955984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171709220942637,0.1130093576768215,0.0,0.0,0.10284147599146848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BumperBox479,2019/04/13,"How can I help my wife? My wife suffers from depression, postpartum depression, anxiety, and probably a few more that I don't know the names for. We recently lost our health insurance due to a career change on my part and even though we are making a little more money now we still can't quite afford insurance for her yet. I'm trying to get everything back on track in the next six months but she's suffering now. Are there any resources available for us so she can start to feel a little better?

We're in Washington state, USA.",4.259053398058253,5.934332223300973,5.011832524271849,82.06202063106798,71.4271844660194,9.421844660194175,26.46723300970873,9.827888789773867,2.535564077669904,421,14,81,11,8,136,75,103,0.138,0.8109999999999999,0.051,-0.7905,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,5,0,0,3,10,6,0,0,6,0,6,1,0,2,0,11,13,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,5,0,1,1,1,13,1,11,12,4,17,0,5,0,0,12,6,0,0,10,55,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332681849632195,0.0,0.14991861146699662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506909421617637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332196501817412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073131763068184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33758207158173154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294381480335205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761276643938328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908970683454747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238766938088907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20830986097811016,0.0,0.0,0.13135639824300546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770149404419722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928323433647793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392739819836992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308133272459331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564235732236878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20841923471012788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122193825185808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129176193890184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084411342095038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349944070440456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871051567395554,0.0,0.15650408515794426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925422243126816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305262804056964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357310795129039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheMentalCake,2019/04/13,"i don't know if my friend's telling the truth one of my friends are saying that they have IED, ADHD, Depression, and bipolar disorder, but is that possible to have all four? if not, what combinations are possible? im curious. thanks!",3.766363636363636,6.097911090909097,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636366,74.45454545454545,9.854545454545457,31.45454545454545,10.125756701596842,3.654654545454545,184,9,35,6,4,60,37,44,0.085,0.6890000000000001,0.226,0.7877,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,2,8,8,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,1,4,4,2,8,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,24,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088367902463581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213341819021167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29451826252863056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970800669173555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775795940229369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122800990121126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17413447694447154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5794066144876807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20435867247396786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22460949704509187,0.23659018250237204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,xoox321,2019/04/13,How do you overcome the feeling of being so lonely? It’s not easy for me to be out and about and meet people because of my situation but I could really use some help I feel so miserable,1.1980769230769222,3.3271184871794905,3.945833333333337,84.13875,82.07692307692308,6.976923076923077,22.570512820512814,8.07648339933343,1.3910974358974355,147,5,30,3,4,52,35,39,0.191,0.693,0.116,-0.5216,0,2,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,11,7,6,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,6,4,1,1,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627781636821541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34417679753929165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359270282882997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889392155955171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988518137844425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761564692682205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.484544231183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723087567228937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,omaste,2019/04/13,"This is really not okay, mom So mom, when I was in the darkest pits of my depression and you found out I went to see a GP (who was completely ignorant and useless) for my depression, you didn't tell me how sorry you were. You didn't tell me we'd sort it out together. You didn't tell me we'd go look for help. You didn't ask me if there was anything you could do for me.  
You said: ""Oh, well maybe you need glasses or something. Okay I'm going to the store!""  
Now my cousin had a baby and she unfortunately has post partum depression, which is horrible. But why, now, are you there for her? Why are you asking her if she's getting help anywhere? Why are you telling her how sorry you are? Why are you asking her if you could do anything for her? Why are you telling her that you love her, and you'll get through it together?  
Mom, where were you when I needed you?",1.3327505750903723,3.233370050279333,2.8214985211961903,93.5878705225107,80.34078212290504,6.446401577390734,21.70259612224779,7.5105763829236425,0.6206573118632925,665,20,153,10,17,217,90,179,0.14800000000000002,0.7809999999999999,0.071,-0.9299,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,2,20,0,0,11,9,0,0,4,2,26,1,0,2,0,21,42,14,0,7,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,1,1,0,1,3,5,5,1,0,13,3,42,4,12,24,0,12,0,4,2,1,48,4,0,5,4,108,48,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070911121932913,0.0,0.29089884400826665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875078224243756,0.0,0.0,0.16562751757099106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26800740794306643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372606891208785,0.0,0.0,0.10838116588965097,0.0,0.11789546445145625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390456455814153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710054807489483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361335999668548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420291884086487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3644346581284253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381743501419684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993372225705444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664471149610883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866359060035604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265318643648988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985043821735759,0.0,0.2322170838725465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4532889933307015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932587391527108,0.09615154413532193,0.4679658872503609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,elizakat12,2019/04/13,"Unstable, I feel like a roller coaster. My feelings and thoughts are changing rapidly throughout a day. I will go from the urge of self-harm and being really really down, to a state of ""everything is possible"", during which I won't care about anything or be affected negatively with anything, I will just feel that I can achieve everything, I will be impulsive/compulsive, with money, with food, with talking. I might even start laughing at something that made me self-harm earlier. I will have random energy that came out of nowhere. I won't care about anything. Absolutely anything. And something that made me cry earlier will seem so distant to me, like they are not the same words anymore. I have never found something rational that would explain this. Nothing certain happens inbetween those two moods. It is exhausting. I feel like I am double.",5.691230769230771,8.290289600000001,5.587333333333337,75.55546153846156,69.66666666666666,9.14871794871795,36.20512820512821,9.661875296680813,4.113897435897437,680,37,107,17,13,212,95,150,0.114,0.8,0.087,-0.4534,0,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,1,5,9,0,0,5,0,20,2,0,3,2,30,36,5,0,1,3,0,4,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,9,9,1,0,8,1,1,2,5,1,0,1,5,4,17,7,15,19,2,9,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,4,6,79,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295192182228554,0.0,0.0,0.4298877395773594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937058307107096,0.26630898117047025,0.0,0.13815653529513852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345698337218152,0.08422561793833593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625947653642838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23474810733944235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641393243507376,0.18660005210169653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792095505413226,0.14319517671444815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422248050712249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548835642921687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19141237631617936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471520600725308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13854501102532202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072608024713174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531336264363493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472308669760624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733026051174724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188925193965952,0.2724866963267813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016247124509193,0.0,0.0,0.09243871805887438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049706128546726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368110057932342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275763478957194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927738564682358,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,common3000,2019/04/13,"I don't care about money or power.... All I care about is loving and being loved.

That is all.",-1.6116666666666684,0.34058249999999995,1.1700000000000017,98.54833333333332,99.0,2.666666666666667,6.666666666666668,3.1291,-2.376333333333333,70,0,16,0,3,24,15,20,0.202,0.499,0.299,0.5489999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,4,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,7,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7487724863391083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6628270994019104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Esuom451,2019/04/13,Friend in central Ohio [F25] wants to self admit to inpatient She is currently in a bad home situation and is afraid of ending up on the streets. She currently is broke and without insurance. I am worried about her ending up in a bad facility. Ive heard too many horror stories. People of reddit do you know of any facilties that could help her?,2.83792207792208,5.471441666666671,4.356839826839828,80.61954545454547,79.3030303030303,7.40779220779221,27.61038961038961,8.418075326091056,2.3910025974025984,274,12,49,6,7,91,50,66,0.175,0.7,0.124,-0.7106,2,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,11,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,7,1,13,9,0,11,0,1,0,0,10,7,0,0,4,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724534736925901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4234829006564252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024751807453928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4492202605271218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19592706964714485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997955794929948,0.0,0.2543767237660318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936932340550515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571057913941523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17581102341794422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26455516438723004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850516986890005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957705541696725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444567821218349,0.0,0.0,0.2575382974428269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MirandaD123,2019/04/13,"My brother needs help. I am looking for a mental health clinic/retreat is nice and won't look ""scary"" to him. My brother is not mentally well. No one in my family are doctors, so I cant say he is actually diagnosed, but he has serious symptoms of mania highs and lows. He does dangerous things all the time. He thinks he is invincible. He also doesn't sleep for days sometimes. Then he will be severely depressed and not get out of bed for days. He has always been like this but now it is geting much worse. He is 37 years old. He is very intelligent and ironically is a licensed therapist. However, he is also currently homeless and doesn't work anywhere.

 He will not listen to any of us because he thinks he is like the most enlightened person on the planet and all of us are of inferior intelligence. It has gotten to a point where my mom is now scared of him because she said he acts ""crazy"" he never stops talking, a few days ago he almost burned her house down. We are all very worried about him but he wont listen to us. 

We decided we need to have an Intervention to get him to go to a place where he can see a doctor and receive treatment to get his mood stabilized. I dont think he will go to a normal hospital. Is there any kind of place that is more appealing (more like a retreat) that will have real doctors that can give medication, but they don't lock you  up? He is also very into spirituality so stuff like that appeals to him but I really really think he needs medication at this point, I am worried. He lives in Michigan. Also none of us are rich and he dosen't have insurence so it can't be anything crazy expensive but we are all willing to try and put our money together to pay for a place to help him.  I realize what I'm asking for seems unrealistic, but I dont even know how to Google search for what I am looking for. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.",3.3384485815602822,4.935689422872343,5.083638297872343,80.9386666666667,73.65425531914894,8.311205673758867,27.16099290780143,8.936278230431713,2.13887120567376,1477,55,296,31,30,503,187,376,0.09,0.773,0.136,0.9633,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,9,2,1,1,16,16,1,1,13,0,48,9,1,1,5,48,74,25,0,4,10,3,0,4,0,7,8,4,1,1,13,15,0,1,9,0,4,5,15,6,1,1,3,8,33,9,39,62,10,35,0,3,4,0,59,17,0,3,17,194,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.07711750445765769,0.0,0.0,0.07722282003819568,0.07005135217908608,0.0,0.07913263948195041,0.0,0.0,0.2527867077182211,0.06575556026316777,0.0,0.0,0.1612201831970959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503126660288361,0.0,0.07387819019168336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09634644264202598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528947614181926,0.0,0.06806456149490668,0.08020923569175767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24265789395967274,0.0691557619622771,0.0,0.1852346333846778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052195608287695316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449822378946831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386271201387156,0.07580847623268094,0.08982404424990442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400042855420005,0.0,0.0,0.10593827573921824,0.08349479689914524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118483577918853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229291457682207,0.04343035712836885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443150235822822,0.0,0.0697809788130107,0.0,0.19908459212249985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921978777334855,0.1592782671020931,0.0,0.0,0.0925537297249892,0.0,0.0,0.05809284736080361,0.1757892572891682,0.060949350031285765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742822738527802,0.0,0.0,0.08292398595956797,0.0,0.05354973512230486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900203278125831,0.2476945348038485,0.0,0.14940931264139798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944247099571017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994833857272076,0.10125153876467988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517136277613068,0.06284426250877635,0.0791183280487402,0.0,0.06297310511825345,0.07194186215750076,0.0,0.08927633983510556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079082587702376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781582564161252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606887025510297,0.0,0.0,0.09046530961119292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082137769889694,0.0,0.06351771666464913,0.0,0.07275607810611694,0.0,0.09175471545420548,0.052501041647968885,0.2025454400445137,0.0,0.0,0.046080414130589234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536531382777164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802318643899232,0.0,0.0,0.1956129818031041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710534298441361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057531517142766615,0.1605084958277446,0.08053375257023351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088984162083884
mentalhealth,saintofhalloween,2019/04/13,"My boyfriend talks about how easy it was for him to beat depression like it should be easy for me 23f here. Been dealing with depression since my teens but last fall was an all time low for me, resulting in dropping out of school and quitting my job. I'm back in school, found another job, but I still feel depressed a lot. Yesterday was the first day I had to myself in a while so (even though I have a ton of homework to do) I spent the day basically napping and watching YouTube videos. I took three naps, even though I slept seven hours the night before. And I had no trouble falling asleep again that night. This morning I woke up and lamented that I would have to go to work instead of just sleep all day again and my bf starts going on about how I need to start exercising. He literally said Everytime he feels depressed it's because there's something else off in his life, so he just identifies the problem, and then finds a way to fix it, then bam! Depression fixed!! I keep trying to explain to him that it isn't as simple as that for everyone, but it seems like he doesn't want to admit that my depression might actually be something long term and separate from other Aspects of my life. I started seeing a new therapist a few weeks ago and will be going back this Thursday but it's getting hard for me to keep going with school and work. Especially since I my bf tries to be supportive by telling me how to fix stuff, which of course is not how to help someone with depression. I started taking dance class recently and it feels pretty unfair that he still wants to act like I'm doing something wrong by not working out. I'm pretty out of shape so I'm trying to start small and manageable. I started taking a multi vitamin too to help my vit D levels. I'm honestly at a loss with what I am supposed to be doing more. He tells me I should work out every morning but I don't want to push myself into a routine that's unsustainable at my current health. But after my last dance class he told me I pushed myself too far because I was sore and walking funny the next day, so I literally feel like I can't win. It's the last month of the semester so I have a million things to do for school and I know that that really gets me down. I don't like being in school and I never have, but I want a career someday so I need to do this. I'm just starting to feel hopeless and I worry that I will never really be happy.",4.8230013166556915,5.234767181632655,5.577373271889403,83.22859447004609,69.0204081632653,8.608294930875577,29.275839368005265,8.558390810932622,2.00453258722844,1909,66,392,28,31,623,226,490,0.174,0.748,0.078,-0.9941,3,0,3,0,0,1,35.0,0,0,0,9,32,22,0,0,19,0,36,9,3,5,4,70,83,39,0,10,12,0,6,5,2,6,6,1,1,0,27,24,0,2,11,6,1,13,10,13,0,4,14,9,53,9,63,56,7,78,0,10,2,0,22,21,0,3,47,266,80,16,0.0,0.0,0.06510822638195099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059142464841324585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996080350363179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260575353625992,0.0,0.08134269959522512,0.0,0.05677304796537089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17211322399565498,0.06878447211737207,0.4022554978529251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05573525465586916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813468497038354,0.0,0.0562137272020569,0.06375296817204842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867593187073532,0.04766414505336949,0.0,0.0,0.06098005723067415,0.056751240332758,0.0,0.07315405967990382,0.0,0.0,0.06971596181521023,0.0,0.15167202955267392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102373254377786,0.059767217012262286,0.0,0.0,0.07091929331674164,0.0,0.0,0.08944082524259715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570488317223402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324168422121131,0.11860601990288187,0.0,0.0,0.036667077645327416,0.16315493701242892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942513601099468,0.16297793358907592,0.0,0.0,0.05904431225006612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672220087456052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077843149081935,0.0,0.0,0.05325455654866604,0.0,0.0,0.09894274838196117,0.10291578047234584,0.06443773156685899,0.07095652970941979,0.12522272890399969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575464033092968,0.0,0.06384117703892489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096398541512876,0.0,0.0,0.08548393978478974,0.0,0.06587707143342178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346515151764721,0.0,0.0,0.3376165031458121,0.05316649200266632,0.060738571361077735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038147342721433,0.0,0.06676729309652223,0.0,0.05653088484367034,0.15409088994365586,0.0,0.0,0.3305689030132869,0.0,0.10656393382885404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637741780289105,0.0,0.07571205463732678,0.0,0.0,0.1003289338767008,0.053626292823534726,0.11663088467778075,0.0,0.0,0.07746602833451383,0.04432521162275198,0.0,0.1311023723771179,0.0,0.03890444920498901,0.0,0.0,0.06375296817204842,0.0741273854063291,0.1358936870813434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157410637317243,0.052958523486027816,0.053518045088876025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19428922492091308,0.06775649417128872,0.0,0.04739534102008185,0.07294687233698323,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Mayhem_was_here,2019/04/13,"What tiny things made the biggest impact in your mental health recovery? I know the big things include therapy, medication, quitting unhealthy behaviors, but what are some tiny things that made a big impact?",10.481470588235293,11.685085970588233,8.392941176470586,65.16823529411766,56.941176470588246,11.505882352941176,40.52941176470589,11.20814326018867,5.083576470588237,169,8,23,4,2,50,26,34,0.076,0.924,0.0,-0.3736,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,5,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,0,15,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897815635845609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982443556908898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5159179394055295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746352598950874,0.2747361298049953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28996417885813186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31176392418718496,0.0,0.5433484400171866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mpod001,2019/04/13,"What do you do for self care? I recently wrote an article all about ways to look after yourself and wanted to share it with you guys! What do you do to look after yourself? All suggestions apprciated :) 

​

[http://overcominganxietyblog.com/self-care-for-mental-health/](http://overcominganxietyblog.com/self-care-for-mental-health/)",18.07075,24.31037657500001,11.320000000000006,31.715000000000032,45.75,9.0,30.0,9.516144504307137,3.439,293,8,29,5,4,78,28,40,0.0,0.8029999999999999,0.197,0.8423,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,6,9,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,2,8,8,2,4,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,0,3,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766684110107507,0.19812786292221454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4987317641360709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144861109475978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466365148660555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738477662739773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3286391769212805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099567115873142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5103011177669383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617318533970257,0.12942428749015245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19812786292221454,0.0
mentalhealth,yomso,2019/04/13,"People who has/had been on medication for depression/anxiety, could you share your experience about it? (English is not my first language, so I may sound weird or awkward)

I’ve been on medication for depression and anxiety for about a month and a half. It is not severe, but I get minor anxiety attacks(increase in heart rate and such) and strong urge to self-harm time to time. It’s been going on for almost my whole life. 

What I’m wondering is, how long do I have to take pills before I get better? Is it something I have to live with for the rest of my life? I’ve already asked my doctor, but he only said that I’ve been medicated for too short to see some progress and I should be patient. I understand that, but I still want to know about other people’s cases.
Also, in where I live, mental health medicines are directly given by the doctor without any prescription note or pharmacist’s explanation. That’s another reason I’m curious about my/other people’s medication. I don’t even know the exact name or side effects of my medicines, and my doctor doesn’t seem to give enough information to me.

What kind of medicines were you prescribed to? How much and how long did you take it? Did you see some actual progress? If you could share your experiences I’d be thankful.",5.238830703012912,6.4149074024390265,5.882797704447636,78.65954806312772,68.47154471544715,9.365471066475367,29.10473457675753,9.627879704456738,2.607531133428981,1015,36,193,22,17,330,134,246,0.03,0.838,0.132,0.9796,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,7,0,6,14,9,0,1,5,0,23,12,1,5,1,39,43,19,0,5,10,0,0,0,0,2,11,2,0,0,12,8,0,0,8,0,0,1,5,3,0,2,9,4,24,6,30,28,6,16,0,1,2,0,16,8,0,10,7,128,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.10360447952111188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631173796813856,0.0,0.11715883176720858,0.08490236901202368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219775970838756,0.11132621846203264,0.24365428004057946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992525821031158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034099701585384,0.0,0.0,0.093896811050749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953273405702726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144218964430303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260017940438506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109699740723609,0.0,0.07012284523423175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077050041314201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903062952807276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109366103110568,0.10184584911831372,0.0603376199634568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128514303090115,0.0,0.12580938042002482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055744921943413,0.11669411704501445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997894507313592,0.0,0.0,0.1874962640775084,0.187910363383694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4278116455590686,0.10699219378395204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474214273607791,0.0,0.07804556510279823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074541284660679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22081020029972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091582033909264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100989911046588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920401731067838,0.09665119789632036,0.11075619283894368,0.11993941955479813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173317637776008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478575990760846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596499790091834,0.0,0.0,0.09774506653441258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381462174358315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052444706234966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262053221457599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853258195344644,0.0,0.10234199194026576,0.1151344743002306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ulosian,2019/04/13,"Sleep/depression query Is wanting to sleep 10+ hours a day, not because you’re physically tired or in any way need it, but just because it brings you so much peace, that you’re happier asleep than awake, is that always a sign of depression? What if it’s just your favorite thing to do? Is the official response basically ‘well, a mentally healthy person with a well-rounded life would and should have much better things as their favorite activities’?",6.029076305220883,7.7050078313252985,5.727891566265062,78.63513052208839,67.07228915662651,9.388755020080325,33.110441767068274,9.725611199111238,3.2423911646586348,362,16,65,8,6,112,64,83,0.07200000000000001,0.665,0.263,0.967,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,1,4,3,0,0,5,0,7,4,2,0,0,13,10,6,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,7,8,2,5,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785475214120507,0.0,0.0,0.1371826898612681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24594434576543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17841297515829352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009856595561986,0.0,0.3474979166355589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986625054959166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424872128358986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329546230692028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965881654995661,0.1495795544045568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761420488759051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40374952640782025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680396698835871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318578983242669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898503616230258,0.1601231515094544,0.0,0.0,0.3627573336015068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433025483235588,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CalebCrawdadd,2019/04/13,I need help Yesterday I had my first panic attack and I was so upset and worked up that I was dry heaving into the toilet. My anxiety levels haven't evened out since. I woke up at 3 am and couldn't fall back asleep because I'm so freaked out that I'm losing my fucking mind. I drove to work today but I feel so detached and anxious. I don't think I'm suicidal but I NEED these feelings of anxiety to stop. Like I'm desperate. I feel like I want to be sedated so I can just calm down and get a break from this. Is this serious enough to where I should go to the hospital? I'm afraid they won't take me seriously. I'm losing my grip and I need help.,0.20595744680850814,2.1940559787234086,2.7213900709219843,92.29400000000004,84.95744680851064,6.313191489361702,20.747517730496455,7.554174236665415,0.6901551773049648,507,16,117,9,15,175,85,141,0.201,0.64,0.159,-0.308,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,5,8,13,2,3,3,0,12,2,1,0,0,24,32,12,1,6,3,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,1,4,0,0,3,4,10,0,1,5,4,20,3,14,23,1,18,0,2,0,1,3,9,1,0,7,72,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609069453330511,0.19264812981645485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940002471045586,0.0,0.13112552545699244,0.0,0.10395230149296528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762010352409433,0.0,0.11263215248103997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25867228029097017,0.1218252554107055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450510512812361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765041161974094,0.08909385498083716,0.0,0.09691500664821197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286026816829141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666227590031605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815544820604568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218469356686425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.379333110218584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20007789547785895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410625447894168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256906496436164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865299819565936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821585261759366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926747304912153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164062874971996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058184760296786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482928669237192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sysoce,2019/04/13,Paranoia strikes deep [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q\_OClz9QlWw&feature=youtu.be&t=86](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_OClz9QlWw&feature=youtu.be&t=86),178.39,223.75611800000001,53.82000000000001,-283.6749999999999,-256.0,11.6,79.0,8.841846274778883,12.723800000000002,168,3,2,1,1,23,4,4,0.708,0.292,0.0,-0.594,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,isabellatheresa,2019/04/13,"Women's mental health. **This article below celebrates women and empowers them. It speaks about experiences and why patriarchy should be abolished. Enjoy and don't hesitate to share with others, share with the enablers of patriarchy and victims of misogyny, let's educate and empower each other.**

[https://viva.media/women-10](https://viva.media/women-10)",9.76061224489796,14.040066387755108,9.439367346938779,36.11456122448982,89.20408163265307,10.939591836734696,33.47142857142857,9.120678840339163,6.125300408163266,299,14,28,11,10,96,39,49,0.111,0.73,0.159,0.5629,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,1,1,4,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,9,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,4,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,7,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,23,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4391242260741966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4771748008965218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590451828965861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4523999264036142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050752400647896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,colorfulchainsawz,2019/04/13,"Mayday! She's Going Down! No motivation, energy, meds, or money. House is a mess, bag is a mess, I'm a mess. I'm doing whatever I can find the energy to do to distract myself from intrusive thoughts. Since 2013 i have lost a baby, 2 friends, was divorced, my childhood home had to be sold, I've lost 2 pets, dad got in some legal trouble, I've been in 2 car accidents, moved twice, had surgery, and i am waving the hell out of this little white flag.",2.7527329192546617,3.9335197391304364,4.67049689440994,84.98630434782609,74.43478260869566,7.86583850931677,25.099378881987576,8.418075326091056,1.5405291925465838,344,11,73,6,7,118,69,92,0.267,0.621,0.112,-0.938,0,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,0,3,0,9,1,1,6,0,12,0,0,1,0,7,20,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,2,3,1,8,0,1,9,1,6,1,9,10,1,9,1,2,1,0,4,5,1,2,1,39,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427033724791135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20515945328500412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509153760873683,0.0,0.2123806410790943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663633446376618,0.0,0.0,0.30640334444963035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661459095486646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5797475990210362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29496069685897536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822323724426505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196616162449475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21081311457354676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,littlemissmuppet14,2019/04/13,Today marks 2 years since I overdosed on my antidepressants. I don't see myself as cured or whatever. But I definitely made some progress. I am so scared that I might get triggered and lose all the progress I've worked so hard for. What can you do when you can't completely cut off toxic people from your life...,3.8188524590163913,5.6789771147540975,4.063081967213115,87.66183606557377,72.9344262295082,7.50295081967213,25.31475409836065,8.238735603445708,1.4007416393442629,248,8,51,4,5,77,51,61,0.123,0.713,0.16399999999999998,0.376,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,4,3,3,1,1,1,0,6,1,0,2,1,8,9,7,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,10,0,5,7,2,5,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,3,3,32,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221692146380256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16053712155551192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27525567266688306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21703554911641051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3437591643091701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29074852869668105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259674072881003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21302395945948624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30763322812939103,0.0,0.24485628160551426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541788645766786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912582609820229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236979316209464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19787332016378947
mentalhealth,ABoredRedditor19,2019/04/13,"Do i have some mental disorder/something? So...idk, i probably don't have anything wrong with me but there's a chance right? So for a while(maybe a year or so) I've started spacing out/pretty much just staring at a wall or something from what I know, a lot of times I hear like, not outside voices, but like thoughts(but not like my thoughts I don't think) that comment on stuff or give me advice or whatever, like i.e. Say I got a cut on my hand: Unknown voice: ""you should clean that!"" Stuff like that, or maybe I see a hot/sharp/dangerous object: Other Unknown Voice: ""you should touch that.*insert me with a concerned look on my face*""(btw I don't self harm other than unconsciously scratching myself sometimes, I don't being in pain) Sometimes I forget minor things(like if I brushed my teeth in the morning, if I fed the dog, etc.), but nothing really serious as far as I know. I can't really remember most of my childhood past age...8, up until we moved about half a year ago? I mean, I remember basically this year and stuff, but almost 4/5 years missing is kind of weird, right? So if this matters, I don't remember anything really bad happening in my childhood(which is why I probably don't have anything wrong) Ok so maybe we were poor and had to move a lot, but thats ok? And my parents used to fight a lot(they don't anymore) in front of 5-6 year old me. Oh, and my mom told me a lot about her life, like the part where she was raised in a concerningly cult like religious family and that's why she can't remember any of her childhood, and how her elderly dying dad was neglected in a hospital, along with other things...but that's what happened to her, not me, so basically nothing happened to me and I just have bad memory and stuff right? Idk, i guess this was just me talking about me being paranoid and stuff... But is it normal for a 14/15 year old to have memory problems and stuff like that? I need an opinion plz.",3.8749609800362985,5.352310323684215,4.6429764065335775,85.11342105263158,72.07894736842105,7.8729582577132495,28.62976406533576,8.433251757073789,2.003896551724138,1513,59,302,25,29,487,187,380,0.104,0.757,0.139,0.8878,1,0,2,0,1,0,79.0,2,2,0,0,14,24,2,0,19,2,27,5,2,2,0,63,47,33,1,8,20,3,3,8,0,2,2,5,1,1,22,16,1,1,9,0,1,3,12,13,0,1,9,12,49,11,35,34,8,36,0,2,3,0,21,18,0,16,23,199,71,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746079229006705,0.061195896713617075,0.0,0.06912918425947381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04694657739014786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846476778300653,0.0,0.0,0.17043125723020186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152836898171765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164805662607909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699294611276157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0650806225226488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622524101593097,0.0,0.0,0.05521407826315184,0.0,0.07605049987708809,0.0,0.1831438672899312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780814196637571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188995706794105,0.07588032397343616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04876188804339537,0.26981846812842325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057972519481874124,0.0,0.0,0.23476640382855601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20806662676941415,0.07520001017706954,0.0,0.0,0.06957165050422562,0.0,0.0,0.0808536638983171,0.0,0.1467478412464163,0.050749111563231496,0.051189024897666816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676402333201864,0.13248304601008118,0.0,0.1448825046771384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345874899278491,0.0,0.07665586734882318,0.07475883060797754,0.06590229463070155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702340270258826,0.14886411271381844,0.06605774863512248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267792517047278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128155221728641,0.1768680833431264,0.0,0.05489988241338597,0.0,0.0,0.05501243754296743,0.0,0.07201919006286761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629395996937964,0.13655595325925932,0.0,0.048863755146901014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4741754930564863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548820269104151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044235226884309545,0.0,0.054806557451852304,0.040255215294732506,0.0,0.0,0.06596647714819545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962459554866122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458778786166355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095918903928646,0.0,0.2667399895699042
mentalhealth,trashytrash122,2019/04/13,"Everything is so terrible and I could really use some words of encouragement. I’m a 14-year-old trans guy. I’m completely closeted to everyone in my family, and I’m only out to a few friends. It’s taken over eight months of an internal battle for me to accept myself. I thought that would bring at least some relief, but it didn’t. I hate my body so, so much. It’s absolutely miserable. I hate feeling so terrible all the time about myself and not being able to do anything about it. 
I’m terrified at the prospect of coming out to my family. I can’t sleep at night. I worry that they won’t accept me. I worry that I won’t be able to go on hormones. I worry so much. 
It’s affecting everything. I’m constantly paranoid that my friends hate me and think I’m annoying. School is terribly difficult for me, and watching my grades fall has been so scary. 
I was on a two month and ten-day streak of not self-harming, which I broke a few days ago. I felt so overwhelmed by everything life was throwing at me, I was desperate. 
Life has been so incredibly rough, and I’m starting to think suicide might be better. I really don’t know who else to turn to. I don’t know if this is the right sub for this, but I could really, really use some positivity right now. 

tl;dr young closeted trans guy, life is beating the hell out of me, feeling suicidal and scared. don’t know where else to go.",2.461726618705036,4.423357086330938,4.366943884892091,83.55971079136691,77.05755395683454,8.620661870503596,25.50848920863309,9.281916038205594,2.2576812661870496,1082,40,222,29,25,368,136,278,0.287,0.605,0.108,-0.9972,0,0,0,0,0,1,39.0,0,0,1,2,12,21,6,3,9,0,26,5,2,3,1,40,54,19,2,4,5,0,4,0,2,4,3,0,2,2,13,12,0,0,11,0,0,6,9,14,0,2,9,5,30,7,32,36,9,30,1,3,1,0,7,14,1,5,10,144,43,2,0.20002507794165314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865508138634115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230179795239911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845296328692452,0.0,0.1110913845836019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615194660796065,0.10486124429273004,0.10807802452206892,0.0,0.1597037485476835,0.0,0.0,0.12899962761053752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670952859628521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556626692982424,0.2696544635437155,0.0,0.18856584170733529,0.0,0.10113868948842447,0.0,0.09602772147249787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453887903406194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367886137397155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19805627506019224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962250297213828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489282759353732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21192544199178004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609749899756844,0.0,0.0,0.15965810886246973,0.0,0.14704144746756065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385499278892744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494633572997823,0.0,0.0,0.07606404262492257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562823737285376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170820323643714,0.0,0.0,0.10012999883828667,0.1012180288531022,0.0,0.0,0.10433489007084304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000847668303792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078938984526413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187949698843077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816799328635686,0.0,0.07939878443382578,0.0583181157534223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10878492307673016,0.0976977181842053,0.0,0.0,0.1727574446937718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047027641471334,0.0,0.07104603818494898,0.0,0.0,0.06440479605731915
mentalhealth,HairForceNine,2019/04/13,"I have a friend who needs help. No health insurance. Needs someone to talk to. Seems to be getting worse and is reaching out. Suggestions? This isn’t me. But someone I know and have been helping with advice.  They talk like they feel worthless. Are lacking in motivation. Just got a message asking for help, if there’s someone they can talk to.  They feel like they are losing their mind. Their words.  I believe this is the person reaching for help before it gets serious.

Is there a number I can give them?  I think sending them to a suicide hotline is premature and might make things worse. Hasn’t said they are thinking about suicide, just they have been struggling with motivation to deal with problems.

I’m not going to give further personal details because it’s their privacy.  But my opinion is this is someone who needs guidance I can’t provide and who will follow such guidance.",3.2887374878915097,6.253774754601233,3.3202066515983217,86.53841136583792,80.59509202453987,5.394769131417501,29.437843073942524,6.8360192770164,1.7870687116564423,707,34,121,8,19,215,93,163,0.16399999999999998,0.682,0.154,-0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,2,20.0,0,0,12,3,6,8,0,1,5,0,22,1,0,3,0,32,42,7,2,6,6,0,2,2,1,2,1,1,0,2,9,8,0,0,8,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,4,3,20,3,15,35,1,6,0,2,0,0,33,3,0,4,2,86,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973711526392512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11455113100112653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469453396153751,0.0,0.10426593610616587,0.13805190723975094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632538910471744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391199391520767,0.08753707755343658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466812717957633,0.0,0.1280361065806857,0.2350882356320416,0.06963791230689956,0.0,0.09800024916339184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302460722237095,0.0,0.0,0.3285231885283177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734053062114041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972615471114788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370822666219194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179124112654437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299873739387351,0.12372266180328315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272568374889469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21398090223817492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724683321816932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655624755506132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154877583068576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152847760247354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809733230824313,0.0,0.2680608292841813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954603894735257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814049949505815,0.15702746085157746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497417009471798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,problystoned3666,2019/04/13,Any one have any tips on how to not want to fucking kill myself? Would be greatly appreciated.,2.6950000000000003,5.411099611111113,4.308888888888891,80.20000000000002,80.66666666666667,5.822222222222222,25.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.3231333333333335,75,3,14,1,2,25,16,18,0.251,0.605,0.145,-0.3863,0,0,0,0,0,1,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,4,5,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5352906627747381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638548808422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4339191808865587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4354337831831605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26669743796891976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321414565205201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795852601629313,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,davidseano,2019/04/13,"Struggling to accept I have been diagnosed with OCD, Depression, Anxiety, and Insomnia. I am so tired of having issues, which I have had to deal with for years, I wish I was somebody else. Due to my mental disorders and my mothers, I have decided to pursue a career in psychology. I am currently a Psych major at my community college, but have no motivation to get my work done or study. I have no motivation to get out of bed, feed my hamster, play with my god son, or take my medication. I read in my psych text book that in order for them to work you must have hope you’ll get better. I have no hope anymore. My whole career will be about helping people and reassuring them that they will get better, yet I know I won’t get better and ignore the materials I have to help me.",4.1347402597402585,5.261595201298704,5.960909090909091,77.26136363636364,71.01298701298701,9.236363636363636,27.63636363636364,9.573946990214177,2.4667090909090916,607,21,119,14,11,210,91,154,0.109,0.6409999999999999,0.249,0.9801,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,3,7,3,11,0,1,3,0,21,5,0,2,1,21,31,8,0,4,3,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,0,3,8,1,1,5,3,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,28,8,21,21,2,10,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,4,4,88,31,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087361035572962,0.0,0.15669878518735147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4192285025993887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628965105904494,0.13608972022940954,0.16037203803807504,0.0,0.0,0.18108774526159085,0.0,0.0,0.16169426456434588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319931406149178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41275619927620943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118152235214958,0.0,0.0,0.3138697990017185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491646621924913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683557230447067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591737013885149,0.15923216379033792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954096972626072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580480432259442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518143024804516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880031013312725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816038313059604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764072577314871,0.18169827966611715,0.0,0.0,0.23005945826650095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175022297348033
mentalhealth,DemonInPain,2019/04/13,"I have no idea what I am or what's going on I can't trust my friend but I'm too scared to leave them. She backstabbed me and apoledgizes a year later. I don't hate her or anyone; I hardly feel any sense of anger or wraith. In fact I care about her so much that I blame myself because if I was good enough she wouldn't have done that to me. I don't want to call her out on this fact because she's my only friend and I can't afford to lose her, she could probably call me a loser and emotionally abuse me all she wants and I would still stick around. I haven't hung out with anyone in years. All my social interactions are business related or with family. New people scare me because I know I will never be able to relate to them or they will never be able to relate to me. Relationships just seem like something these ""normal people"" get, off limits to me and for now I'm fine with that. I used to be a foreveralone browser but theey seemed too bitter about it and didn't want to move on beyond that fact that some people aren't meant to be with other people. Mood swings rapidly, I'll go from happy to sad with completely different worldviews in minutes. I really don't even feel like I belong to any ""diagonoses"" because I'm not depressant because I have mood swings, I'm not borderline because I rarely get angry or self-harm, I'm not schizotypical because I am rarely never not consumed by emotions, I'm not avoidant because I've taken plenty of social risks no one else would dare do, and I'm not dependent because I make my own decisions and generally want to be left alone by even close friends (even though I badly want them to be there). It's weird and I just wish I was normal like what seems to be everyone. Even unpopular nerds or other people with disorders can still get into relationships and friendships. My idea of a friend is someone who will maybe text me back once in a while. I don't know what friends do. It's a confusing, alien world that am afraid of but desperately want a part of.",5.521870370370369,5.558771486419758,5.967052469135804,82.33798611111112,67.46913580246914,8.92283950617284,27.98611111111111,8.59863814320734,1.8065740740740743,1592,45,326,22,24,514,190,405,0.172,0.705,0.123,-0.9365,2,3,1,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,4,3,19,31,3,6,7,0,37,0,0,3,8,80,69,24,0,14,19,0,3,3,5,6,0,0,0,0,18,21,0,2,11,0,0,3,21,16,0,1,6,4,52,13,47,49,7,31,0,4,0,0,26,16,0,14,15,217,70,0,0.14921963597806634,0.08840043402928129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727327029283748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147446942443647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433783900521412,0.0,0.0,0.06641855621022869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057370344644348675,0.062296081566663324,0.4093330728853884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15236993208908048,0.0,0.0760696819235267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822697465031142,0.0,0.0,0.059569868608098736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426132690711703,0.0,0.0,0.07795137990826292,0.08550931530692524,0.0,0.0,0.07635174777830006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06232692920709885,0.16785200606140846,0.0,0.07709188644418037,0.0,0.1971163244792173,0.0,0.0,0.0712928784220287,0.0,0.0,0.07033549629630431,0.0,0.07544993149890762,0.05330126887911184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882168015033567,0.0,0.1169416514777828,0.0,0.08480495789419568,0.0625791754903627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942353861325395,0.0668357420564206,0.07366174874584212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845080594272033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200720950293039,0.0,0.0,0.07900102444311455,0.08106378555046569,0.0,0.0,0.10935176514589684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346930187739833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980263286241113,0.0,0.07495559041111763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929842896697811,0.054846800937624535,0.0,0.17263107354756904,0.0720586271370115,0.0,0.0,0.1462035609299054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794570211572785,0.05055754358663524,0.05674412862782091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079516220843665,0.0,0.2586252677070549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044200287721259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477969598973514,0.0,0.0,0.16020604515061102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14939488719001232,0.0,0.0,0.20376592844526836,0.0778343119592442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211062720777238,0.06321665666409709,0.057438282993866586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916699404694556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07330376735948829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443892754593795,0.0,0.0,0.26404082234195875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579760858059182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600134807830758,0.0,0.0,0.09609255321193393
mentalhealth,PerfectionistSloth,2019/04/13,"I (26M) usually have constant thoughts and conversation with myself almost all the time, except when I'm talking to someone or doing super intensive work. Is it normal to be in conversation to oneself and having constant thoughts for like 60% of the waking hours? The thoughts and self-conversations range from uplifting to demotivating and degrading. When things go well in life its positive and its more like a planning mode, but when life's not so good then it becomes like an analysis mode, where I even look into how things became as it is and how I could have avoided it if I had done things right, etc. 

I'm having a bad time now and even though I've not told my co-workers about it, they all have been asking me constantly why I look sad all the time, so I guess that these thoughts are affecting my expressions even though I'm unaware of it.",14.490184049079756,7.784977773006138,12.760809815950921,61.63802453987732,56.54601226993865,16.230184049079757,49.16441717791412,12.340626583579946,5.699523680981594,679,27,128,13,5,216,102,163,0.122,0.8,0.077,-0.8908,0,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,16,10,0,1,7,0,14,3,1,3,3,30,27,21,0,3,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,13,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,8,3,12,6,15,17,5,19,0,1,2,0,7,5,0,4,16,94,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684453599064846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842199143161933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576651741804384,0.0,0.13990018259821665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4106649661589821,0.0,0.10113794298581792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296302794365979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127368388392114,0.2509986179159043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199108539960568,0.1062471553275061,0.0,0.0,0.13954439752330924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474721593886713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17894552435847053,0.1856578308319564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21274653860476853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411247292596868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817790008440917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13214738237989296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732947321925508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181481813646076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524673880636056,0.0,0.2489108140433822,0.402256292979317,0.221591828109742,0.0,0.0,0.12104131235504698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13951222010092512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138940821148684,0.0,0.1143025215088394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18443864995750048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,W0rldofW0nder,2019/04/13,"Living an unwanted life with PTSD, depression, and BPD Certain things, images, words, and even fragrances can trigger and make me tick. I have anger issues/outbursts as well that have toned down a little over the years but I can get so heated when dealing with this, I have to literally take deep breaths before I have a panic attack or hit something/someone. My friend that I told about my PTSD and why I have it said something very insensitive while I was sitting next to them and I literally wanted to slap them. I was clenching my fists trying to not let my mind go to that dark place. It seems like nowadays little things can just annoy me overall. I can be happy one moment and angry the next, I'm so tired of living and trying every day. I get insanely bored from going to school and work, all that I want to do is literally curl up in a ball and die. I hate putting time and energy into obligations and having to talk to people in general. I'm exhausted of life and don't see the point of it if I'm going to always be in pain and be a burden to the world.",4.707565392354127,5.387427070422536,5.633712273641852,81.76996478873241,69.37558685446011,8.151441985244801,26.48189134808853,8.192908349453996,1.5964342052313878,838,24,165,11,14,276,129,213,0.227,0.684,0.08900000000000001,-0.9898,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,1,7,15,4,1,9,0,19,6,1,2,2,32,37,21,1,4,5,0,0,1,1,0,5,1,0,0,10,16,0,0,1,1,0,4,2,10,1,1,4,2,21,5,26,28,1,26,0,1,1,0,7,13,0,3,9,111,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697740118472476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626264513279394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940039094675896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192466388981516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291458124512173,0.13254613606965227,0.11073390405862876,0.0,0.13343144700229628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491678126573884,0.0,0.10832259237218683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932994907462103,0.0,0.1343410958394453,0.0,0.2192014510856266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686114072168054,0.0,0.12693253331358642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146767908157656,0.1816202584293394,0.06281096502416167,0.2577142726653959,0.2270526700910387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581895573405239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298152404872754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273463284732246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711980362706102,0.0,0.13680353152130095,0.1508447677874462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913163471648898,0.0,0.13432434466340468,0.0,0.12153664203607835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30057408172898953,0.12924456968811368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122295924498556,0.0,0.0,0.13011588687913495,0.10245063844215664,0.1170418656490414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893374803896427,0.09897656373526846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666580342909806,0.10333666431822597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708273786281367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496800163327849,0.14776796659302582,0.0,0.12285054074060955,0.0,0.17457605943538107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060806029053662,0.1516633849937809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559647943938997,0.0,0.11601102385759593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359774543043513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279243582613058
mentalhealth,CryptGuard,2019/04/13,"Help, I'm having Sleep problems I'm not sure if this is the right place or not, if not, please guide me to where I need to go. Moved into an apartment with my girlfriend August of 2018. To give you an idea of where we are, non threatening neighborhood in New England, 2nd floor in the middle, so there are neighbors on the left, right, and below. There's a front door and a back door. We have a dog, he's scared of everything but a dog. During the week I have vivid dreams of people breaking in and I wake up and I have to check the locks and windows. I wake up either every hour or two with these dreams. Sometimes I have sleep paralysis.

As some background I'm 27, and this is the first apartment where I've been the ""man of the house"".
I would rather not have a gun, a non lethal weapon would be preferred.
My end goal is to not be so concerned at night and not wake up to every creak of the apartment and have the need to check the doors. To be honest, I shouldn't be concerned having neighbors on every side, but I still am, any advice will help, thank you in advance to the people who will take the time to respond.",4.117787481804951,4.625139323144109,4.225135371179039,91.96204075691412,70.61572052401745,6.805356622998545,24.43697234352256,6.079149491110277,0.4490277147016021,871,21,193,4,15,269,120,229,0.045,0.8490000000000001,0.106,0.9416,0,0,0,1,0,0,29.0,2,2,0,3,10,6,1,1,21,0,24,5,5,0,1,37,33,17,1,10,14,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,6,1,4,13,0,0,2,2,2,4,7,3,0,2,1,1,16,3,31,23,2,40,0,0,1,0,14,25,0,5,10,130,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14634657467456733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184390903980296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515842742872545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264547930624426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785451128064805,0.0,0.13459723967028592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127388248048693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366622227035708,0.0851137085701372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007658328677458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14748629116258427,0.172806281510397,0.0,0.16906408730608824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271783136883486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591742638817359,0.0,0.22209458858690906,0.0,0.14464194411264608,0.0,0.14054233843545774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076534788633965,0.0,0.15647035732107925,0.16439469358758602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330287142042908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557934002635347,0.0,0.0,0.14993879138556268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997421182215144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481193396379325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960084710077075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411497628900689,0.0,0.11260306418156625,0.0,0.0,0.13788155900443694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732795259564095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462965939840383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12013076653282645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127745375367081,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ForeignAlgae,2019/04/13,"Does free online counseling or therapy exist? Need help.  

Hello.

I am a suboxone patient who has been on the same dosage for close to ten years now. A more recent requirement is that I attend some sort of counseling or therapy from a licensed doctor. For a while I was doing a local group session headed by a licensed substance abuse counselor until he left.

My doctor changed and now they want proof again that I am attending some sort of counseling. The problem is, I'm very low income / insurance doesnt cover addiction treatment (insane deductible) and struggling to purchase my medicine / doctor visits as it is. I can not afford another 50-100$ to attend a counseling session or see a psychiatrist.

I was suggested that there may be online group sessions or free/low cost therapy online. I am not looking to be prescribed anything I just need to show my current doctor that I am attending some sort of help. Does anyone know some good resources? Even if it was a weekly chat headed by a doctor I would be happy with that.

Thank you all!",5.742701702442634,7.3698398393782405,6.2942005921539605,74.49016839378238,67.70466321243525,8.830347890451517,32.43856402664693,9.23628265651192,3.1999714285714287,831,36,133,16,14,270,115,193,0.064,0.831,0.105,0.769,3,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,0,1,1,1,6,7,0,1,12,0,20,8,2,0,2,30,28,10,0,6,8,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,1,2,3,5,3,3,0,1,4,2,15,5,17,19,7,19,0,1,2,0,12,5,0,13,9,96,23,9,0.0,0.14504462932845122,0.0,0.13345306140548258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283653426002046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559710905056253,0.0,0.10073910912657108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950140238313446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6264971025220517,0.2142566250044433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085555385736161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267792700738566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031562395154692,0.0,0.0,0.2512711884421336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641076374160712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727741461469093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330068891204057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027998043552284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154193716767364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713694171875105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12087243743005832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975508373116243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797727100225767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270551651270536,0.4199849786139633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100719520438124,0.07220496826875179,0.0,0.09819587324736974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696182552249432,0.0,0.0,0.0788328072983939
mentalhealth,Matthewtant133,2019/04/14,"Do you think this is a mental illness or autism Have a friend with all kind of issues


Quick background: he can’t drive and doesn’t work. He is moody, likes being around people but can’t communicate well to others, real clingy and has a smart mouth. Obsessive seeming. Example he will comment and like every single thing I post of Facebook. Doesn’t spell well. Can’t seem to figure out or understand simple directions. I gave him a password I created for him that was like a six letter word and one number and he didn’t know how to get in with the password. He also seems depressed and runs people off cause he is obsessive and clingy. He has a funny look in his eyes like he isn’t all there. Seems like he is progressively more moody and negative the better I get to know him but then can turn and be real loving. 

What do you think it is? Would it fit autism? Or major depressive or something else? Thanks",2.279435245416913,4.791637286516856,3.1782909520993488,88.96200768775873,80.62921348314606,5.994559432288589,20.042578356002366,7.273561745256523,0.5910067415730333,719,19,140,10,19,228,107,178,0.117,0.645,0.238,0.9767,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,3,7,19,0,2,8,0,23,4,2,2,2,37,39,18,0,1,6,0,0,5,1,2,1,0,0,0,7,13,0,0,10,0,0,2,8,6,2,2,3,2,10,13,14,32,5,11,0,2,2,1,20,6,0,8,7,91,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982857777949948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225930149492553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146366863183425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141083223740938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365768059135033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472767949162475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11571258653589153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610644627495032,0.0,0.14350612681274486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334444495485388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430156490566254,0.15095396111353934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354803031665312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532873073373147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395226237674448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840368194126526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306329912738093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904247630961491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315311561969055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31263979623747395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5001068276026333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572895224748233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644172085371128,0.0,0.0,0.0912407901220206,0.17600037451817616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14938352947961428,0.0,0.14297295790420625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469654268320348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998317969044858,0.0,0.0,0.09756046738319886,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mermaidcafe,2019/04/14,"Worried I should stop dating my boyfriend until my mental health improves  was seeing my boyfriend the other night and a few things happened that just made me feel like he didn't really want me there. He apologized and I was trying to get over it but just got more upset when I felt like he wasn't interested in talking about it. It was late at that point and alcohol was involved so I think he was just too tired to deal with me. I've had a recent medication change that I think has been impacting my mood, so I was having trouble calming down. It's been an issue for me before when I wasn't medicated properly. I ended up leaving that night and was very upset.

I apologized the next morning for being so upset and he apologized for the things he did to upset me, but he doesn't want to see me now. I'm trying to understand him needing space after a fight, but my feelings are hurt.

I always worry about how my mental health will affect my relationships. Even once I get my medication straightened out, this type of thing can still happen occasionally. He shouldn't have to deal with it, and I'm also hurt that he clearly doesn't want to. I suggested a break until I can get my medication sorted, but this is always going to be a part of my life. I guess the best thing to do is just explain that and let him decide for himself.

I love him more than anything but I don't want to ruin it by being crazy.",5.4368836045056295,5.601361078014187,6.3198372966207765,79.2979411764706,67.65248226950354,8.90479766374635,28.29036295369212,8.671277953709913,1.9747231539424281,1112,33,219,16,17,369,142,282,0.17600000000000002,0.706,0.119,-0.9406,0,0,1,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,18,16,1,4,10,0,33,10,0,3,1,41,59,21,0,7,9,0,3,2,0,3,9,0,0,0,19,10,1,1,8,0,0,1,7,9,0,0,17,5,36,6,31,35,5,25,0,3,2,1,25,8,0,2,17,162,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070054487458173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007162772589625,0.16662758227522387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239609458854895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852008108326792,0.0,0.10507724300967236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592122456338103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645334387093545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868291570232396,0.0,0.0,0.06613302342459823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125456834454473,0.07153083992725855,0.0961377444773079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693687464848818,0.0,0.056904554016582475,0.0,0.08008081068800578,0.0,0.11030131942725373,0.0,0.1770841764330973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21286090885775893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143763218391472,0.0,0.0,0.10450670731659722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294776110582222,0.10602017085834203,0.0,0.10238677173916096,0.07072275129871869,0.0978341138076193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036864183691454,0.09474270905940252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034701883896505,0.2018091888350563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07424299637126043,0.0,0.0,0.1064863360657188,0.1879250528139554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663212304361168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842792181807573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465249948141737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06414400180943702,0.0,0.0988634590278369,0.10749906345605242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957671430708895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996165340001067,0.08371076202684087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047839237559941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660800577691086,0.12831484075420885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150814038219398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595949417682693,0.0,0.0,0.10423587095118267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261536638891166,0.23623029613098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033679166246183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NicoKlein,2019/04/14,"5 Days Without Eating Hey Reddit,

Have been extremely depressed for almost a week. I have not been able to eat for about 5 days and unable to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours for the same amount of time.

I go through phases where things get really bad and I break down, maybe 2-4 times a day. Other than that I feel completely fine. However,
I simply cannot eat or sleep.

I still have no desire to eat, I’m not anorexic or anything but because of my emotions I simply do not feel the need or desire at all. Food and sleep repulse me at the moment.

Have been severely depressed in the past so I’m not too worried. However, at what point of not eating or sleeping should I go to the doctor? I really don’t want to just fall asleep and keel over lol.",2.3095173453996978,3.9748753464052315,3.6535947712418313,89.83040723981901,76.58169934640524,6.5377576671694335,22.22674710910005,7.321109707123232,0.7056258421317239,580,16,123,7,13,190,93,153,0.13,0.775,0.095,-0.8194,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,7,1,11,12,5,0,1,27,20,11,0,5,13,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,6,0,2,0,0,3,9,3,0,0,3,2,11,1,22,16,4,22,0,2,0,0,1,8,0,6,10,79,15,1,0.1172314522937639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173903654240056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647149647067828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788336590425922,0.07146320521527774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291494730829455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268137652402164,0.0,0.2019425561593781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199913589446361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.59978521280335,0.0,0.1318696049083845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855148938149235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175673745084152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124859527373357,0.0,0.13325067187684858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544936603158515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777475080723905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692563644148761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191068622972092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082161497168166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020294044456511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324381724857188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4692644617863605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362118923584023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788336778026679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671720516571992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914614792505683,0.0,0.09403599973786313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130069365970576,0.0,0.0,0.11905423035443025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IronLok,2019/04/14,"Too afraid to consult my GP I’ve been dealing with a lot these past few years and have been passed around to several different doctors. After getting treated for a variety of mental disorders, this year I finally got my family doctor. I feel afraid to consult her again because I feel like she is going to be discouraged with me. I had stopped a few months prior taking medication (which I had taken for 2 years). I first consulted her for antidepressants which I ended up stopping because I “felt better” after 2 weeks. I was super motivated with school and my life felt like it was back on track. I ended up crashing a few months later after a series of unfortunate events. I consulted again and got a different prescription which I felt again amazing after a couple of weeks and stopped taking. During that time I started engaging in unhealthy drinking, smoking, partying and sex (I was a virgin). However, I felt great. I consulted again because I had decided I needed birth control and told her I wanted to stop my medication (I lied and said I hadn’t stopped it yet but I had). After experiencing more ups and downs in my mood for the past 6 months I’ve determined it might be time to consider a psychiatrist evaluation because my symptoms correlate with bipolar 2. A prior health physician had mentioned I displayed symptoms of BP and BPD but I dismissed it, I wish I hadn’t.
I’m afraid if I consult her again, she is going to judge me because I never take my medication. What if she thinks I’m just being ridiculous and that I’m not actually mentally ill because I’m not taking the pills seriously? I struggle with taking advice from medical practitioners because I was abused by the system and in hospital for a very long time. I want to get better but it’s very difficult for me to admit that I will probably deal with my mental healthy my entire life. I need advice on how to bring this up to my doctor without feeling like a total idiot.",6.52350543478261,7.259468470108692,7.484239130434783,69.9020652173913,65.38586956521739,10.31304347826087,35.565217391304344,10.276239652853533,3.920417391304348,1559,72,260,36,23,525,177,368,0.104,0.777,0.119,0.7351,3,0,1,0,1,0,30.0,0,0,0,6,11,20,2,4,15,0,21,19,0,3,2,55,55,17,0,7,9,0,7,3,0,2,16,1,0,0,15,18,1,7,11,1,0,4,6,9,0,1,22,9,53,10,46,28,6,58,0,1,0,2,19,11,0,4,45,186,68,11,0.0,0.08620970759272154,0.07100409230866314,0.0,0.0,0.1422021182061956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477258140743887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559486012777348,0.0,0.3104803655508136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870211539411114,0.0,0.0,0.09163974163763344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08160747863217209,0.0,0.0805084949898952,0.0,0.0,0.15002647987899936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203920076036148,0.08339023614547049,0.2234214349039079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712779312371119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888903050699144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859245246561647,0.0,0.11037021374109726,0.10396072948843683,0.2794473001406826,0.07970595306709535,0.0,0.061890340608868666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760290805508207,0.0,0.08270333401360913,0.0,0.11638699483490828,0.08021909239750305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773413795606482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278627825314106,0.10664182593100294,0.0,0.0,0.06439106131859583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06185867148677723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931956003486053,0.21997746542013347,0.07718776201266157,0.0,0.0,0.17423104540688136,0.0,0.0,0.10790249450464426,0.056117651967726535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891692600999006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844850110034854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921222904010063,0.0,0.0,0.0736378632514516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08219904831220144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05150050310349913,0.0,0.0,0.3041566370251361,0.0,0.07606543698102278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125276255477796,0.2735355145607929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04662221379815206,0.0,0.0,0.12728230775463925,0.0,0.0,0.06952610888958674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200706403766523,0.08583246728970488,0.0,0.11672872768419225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367138497801481,0.07013886152768448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056680272907154
mentalhealth,Unknown7301,2019/04/14,"I have urges to cause harm to society. I've felt for a while that society is against people like me, people who want love but can't get sex, love or relationships. People who aren't as ""perfect"" as the rest of society. Why do people hate me? And these are not just urges to kill, but to cause extreme bodily harm and gruesome acts of torture and murder, and are enjoyable to think of. Why is this? My psychiatrist says psychosis is a possibility. Please don't judge.",3.401333333333333,5.545941300000003,4.530833333333334,82.61625000000002,74.8888888888889,8.055555555555555,25.69444444444445,8.841846274778883,1.9834444444444448,367,13,72,8,8,120,58,90,0.257,0.5920000000000001,0.151,-0.9569,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,1,11,4,0,3,0,10,3,0,2,1,15,17,10,2,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,1,2,4,5,12,16,1,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,2,45,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3948273938147425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451536566325266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004019977420656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973017665981234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212609971025826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09388558771427218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468856708400431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5329117873653035,0.0,0.0,0.21094727252502266,0.0,0.21664518368806826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20632093159552511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282297795484995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313613082202755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334809160629584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468108841192004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lakersfan421,2019/04/14,"What am I likely to be prescribed?  

I  suffer from depression, suicidal thoughts, extreme social anxiety.  Because of this I self medicate with drugs and alcohol but which keeps  me stable, without it I am I am not a functional person.

What  am I likely to be prescribed by a therapist, if I were to go see one?  The last time I went to one years ago, they gave me a mood boosting pill  or something and told me Id feel different after 3 to 4 weeks of taking  the medicine. I quit after 3 or 4 weeks.

What  I'm really looking for is something to just cut though the edge not  something that will make my brain produce 20% more serotonin then  usually?

It  scares me even back then to imagine using a drug that is dependent on  me using it every day rather then something like adderall or xanax (<  I've never tried it) that will instantly make me feel different where I  can come off it to assess my true emotional state.

I  guess my true fear has always been using those weaker drugs to  chemically alter my brain chemistry rather then drugs and alcohol which I  use recreational but I'm always aware when I am in a different state of  mind. Thanks",5.15010606060606,6.20909076818182,5.791818181818183,79.66106060606064,68.5909090909091,9.13939393939394,30.57575757575757,9.3871,2.7416303030303038,899,35,167,18,15,292,130,220,0.103,0.7979999999999999,0.099,0.3049,3,0,10,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,8,12,1,2,8,0,15,11,2,8,3,35,37,15,1,3,12,0,2,3,0,2,9,0,0,2,15,5,2,1,4,0,0,3,4,5,0,2,6,4,24,6,22,27,1,26,0,2,2,0,6,4,0,6,20,111,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08632905303635494,0.2081574350926687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16207011207669464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450195653765733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748857657744905,0.0,0.0593671420891629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21743560874796314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389159258106231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628075431183118,0.0,0.0838805955403715,0.0,0.0,0.30525084765288363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4517590897133063,0.0,0.0,0.10954898465936952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432420354447531,0.0,0.08205403427161036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095891684188971,0.09848513082769357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055348144174046265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728444209347687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656339746828122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938464772183743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273734492109905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178183469428928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001519592073227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810869508973062,0.0,0.0,0.09833464985144903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511203578098978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319859725658911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503590526505189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358468618124238,0.0,0.0,0.0623895841273869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09750290502324648,0.0,0.0776060470284641,0.0,0.10159747323694604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992753387791802,0.0,0.2998977840159306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652724166434613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322405209996205,0.0,0.0,0.08966227103629472,0.0,0.1130755859862847,0.0,0.0,0.09568373324058674,0.07731561197873875,0.056788033230920236,0.0,0.0,0.09305891097565812,0.0,0.06612041703495769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.336449673773387,0.107259703466418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562384038364045,0.0,0.0,0.0902801401584068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387906464324497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271501833491681
mentalhealth,oblivioussocio,2019/04/14,"Sometimes I just need a place to audibly scream. I live out in the “woods”, surrounded by forest, but its rural. Not to rural, definitely not too urban either. But someone would hear me. My family is home almost all the time. Ive used a pillow a few times, I dont know why I need to do this. Recently my psychologist said my “sociopathy” could actually be chronic, deep deep depression. As Ive resulted in psychosis, insomnia, irritability, and honestly......a complete change in character. Ive never really HAD empathy or sympathy, but its there for some people. But occasionally the voices and just overall feeling of death and doom and extreme sadness is too much. Where do you guys go to do something like this?",4.312128205128207,6.841881007692307,6.153461538461543,70.24070512820514,73.53846153846155,9.871794871794874,30.833333333333336,10.125756701596842,3.8954102564102566,561,26,92,18,12,193,92,130,0.181,0.7609999999999999,0.058,-0.9606,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,0,6,0,13,2,0,2,2,27,21,10,1,4,10,0,1,1,0,1,2,5,2,1,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,6,12,1,12,16,5,14,1,3,0,0,4,9,0,3,5,67,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.1918191773913736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968315483882153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20793980639600745,0.0,0.20609476179209585,0.0,0.0,0.15694123332332754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930122787656032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303728268317513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18530407726381332,0.0,0.09938921790730028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171247305754907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19463034749049812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22154314743491205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19717081673723535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802703532440426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603177629384436,0.0,0.1735705796966752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449796153855515,0.2915010538319741,0.1516031187440635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13627348668351014,0.0,0.2053686870209886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592463288354688,0.0,0.19408431704437812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869784178379761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16654896670515598,0.15132541305968553,0.19440790463229865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22923737469323002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976912992077905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736942405560793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963420341574506,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Die_GoXD,2019/04/14,"I mentally ""kill"" myself. Is this... Common? Ok, so I have this compulsive tendency to ""kill"" myself mentally when I get anxious. This only happens whenever I remember something either embarrassing or bad that I did in the past. Mainly, something I deeply regret.

So, as a minor example, one time as a kid when I told on some classmates for doing something wrong. They got detention, found out it was me, and for a while the class (even a girl I had a crushed on) saw me as a traitor to them. 

When these kinds of thoughts occur one of several things happen: 

A) I take my hand, do the gun shape, place it against my head and ""pull"" the trigger. 

B) I, loudly, say to myself ""You should just fucking kill yourself"" repeatedly. 

C) Some combination of the two.

All of these somewhat relieve my anxiety. At least, until the next  intrusive thought.

Like I said, all of that is pretty much compulsive, though I have enough self control to keep it to myself when around others. Is this behavior common?",3.126609145815358,5.7712582786885225,4.157572620074777,82.40976704055221,78.23497267759562,7.349899338510211,27.664365832614322,8.371475516178862,2.3180229508196724,767,33,137,16,19,248,118,183,0.149,0.782,0.069,-0.9379,0,0,3,1,0,2,44.0,0,1,2,1,10,12,4,1,13,1,11,3,2,2,2,21,24,15,3,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,3,13,4,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,8,0,3,10,5,24,4,23,13,10,21,0,1,1,1,9,8,1,4,13,110,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223205416331246,0.15097194148447046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896539644718017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158143843455973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988542740734673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138082899674361,0.0,0.08826607738075802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465262375327665,0.0,0.12354539200943385,0.06981989533772245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688183704409696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23634978125221764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371502704793426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187828394018703,0.4435491202948441,0.13916252735075876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528836134088843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693496313256045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982386819242425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212462537549927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811119831374288,0.10163707468875828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275717812761441,0.0,0.0,0.13962237879785624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595702523102435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138484023221108,0.0,0.12711953249099595,0.10627362568440432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941269289438388,0.15097194148447046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086412215578244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047850564242272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878258452564991,0.0,0.13129782161164155,0.2121859397742096,0.07792489699457733,0.0,0.0,0.12769602396191654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305440775607138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461112450913982,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emperor__kuzco,2019/04/14,"It just piles up I do not know where to start. 

I'm 29, went back to University to finish my bachelors degree. I feel like I am too old to be here,  I wasted all that time not finish school sooner. I'm in debt. I work a low paying job. Struggle to find motivation to do little things. Don't have a real friend that I can talk with. I've lost one of the most important people in my life a few years ago and I never recovered. I constantly fear my dad is cheating on my mom again. Hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I have 0 confidence in myself. I am not close to my family at all, I feel my relationships are superficial and not in anyways meaningful, if I stopped reaching out to people they would probably be okay with it. 

I don't even know where to post or what to do. I've been to therapy once, and they encouraged me to talk to a friend, I can't. I am the one who everyone feel is strong mentally and I know that I'm not okay with anyone thinking that I am overwhelmed. I am afraid that this won't go away. 

I just wish that someone was there for me. I wish I had help.",1.4193478260869554,2.9728046304347835,3.6193478260869583,89.5964130434783,78.78260869565217,7.382608695652173,21.5,8.238735603445708,0.9469304347826086,835,23,193,16,20,287,128,230,0.125,0.7290000000000001,0.146,0.422,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,4,12,15,2,4,7,2,24,1,0,1,3,37,43,7,0,4,9,2,3,1,2,2,1,0,0,0,13,9,0,1,10,0,2,2,10,8,0,2,5,5,34,7,28,34,4,31,0,3,2,0,12,15,0,3,14,136,47,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130425092333168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956847444974982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856976231222325,0.10522485076106647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478801169759336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038439613042637,0.0,0.0,0.13076063145149322,0.0,0.0,0.12900466516045606,0.15398792778100934,0.2075778304398064,0.097761624022813,0.0,0.0,0.12507324785118226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21145119565189904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777179214744609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510545503309848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172387671976903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357968922775593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256182118506949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665720449186996,0.06685523237523752,0.13715397923620998,0.0,0.0,0.11491478068859134,0.0,0.14938176260761687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137906908847322,0.0,0.0,0.16027043740352231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554279139263174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435951154045732,0.14573475625820778,0.18545853303580767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18974127045057892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310590506972729,0.0,0.14754134387982584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575881825190008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691960887195316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384937781113289,0.10904722188883834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594776542358548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685912836827476,0.0,0.0,0.11440799593928147,0.0,0.14305941652894685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21998059425513874,0.0,0.0,0.15649342918706208,0.0,0.09091329905410248,0.08768432770478203,0.0,0.0,0.07979503527723285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685607440356247,0.0,0.0,0.3147284756442015,0.0,0.0,0.09962430951575056,0.0,0.0,0.09721029306305996,0.0,0.0,0.08812326850795388
mentalhealth,throwaway76151,2019/04/14,"I'm stuck inside of invisible box I'm 23M who's around 400lbs and possible even  more.. the problem is I can't push myself to do it to start walking or cutting off sweets... I always find a way to eat or cheat on my food.. I'm self conscious that I have problem and that with this kinda lifestyle I don't turn 30.. that facts but nothing can shake me out of that ""box"" I have daily  battles with myself but I'm losing and I'm losing hard this past month. I had few mental breakdowns in that month where is fall asleep while crying... I became angry at everything, I dislike most of the stuff and have poor view of life I can feel people commenting me or laughing, talking behind my back and that breaks my heart... I can't fight anymore but I wanna live.. I keep dreaming or thinking how my life would be great of I lose weight how I could find myself a nice girl and be genuinely  happy for once...",1.943008678881388,3.90975386338798,3.180912889746065,91.43013500482158,78.672131147541,5.3987785278045655,21.693667630986823,6.2272716619740125,0.26218122790099674,699,20,146,5,17,226,114,183,0.182,0.7,0.118,-0.8199,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,7,15,4,1,4,0,16,7,2,2,1,33,27,16,0,5,7,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,11,10,3,1,5,1,1,4,3,10,0,0,2,5,23,5,19,21,3,19,0,3,1,0,6,7,0,6,6,95,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612785620107212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840930423973893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424093728392828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731557259924564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114299486776688,0.0,0.15330374541568706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280811072782695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921802516669632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543050619925006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056740421879905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551166784826326,0.0,0.16876051148107096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538690447558295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485677413475195,0.12502131499024902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653831973081612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405028471524494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19715539002171495,0.0,0.0,0.1232369618741802,0.0,0.0,0.468406943393602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064699337942155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22279620908468287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339147624069501,0.0,0.0,0.14863037298075002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322897371897185,0.09675562824198504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573366650940328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670864832904679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559497258654536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987836309305676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15976660260620784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121757040398072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942653534368589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518048074084485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077886134144042,0.0,0.16995051607489298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914177294763812,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Hiker206,2019/04/14,"Mental Health in the workplace resources I'm giving a presentation, specifically about millennials, and I want to talk about mental health in the work place. I want to make sure I am provided accurate data. I do not have any type of psychology degree, I was a business major. I've been going to therapy for 5 years so it's a conversation I want to have and I want to do it as respectfully and be as informative as possible. 

Any information that could get me in the right direction would be appreciated. Thank you!",3.915693012600229,6.3675799278350524,6.252508591065293,69.43163802978238,74.4639175257732,10.08430698739977,28.30355097365407,10.25414643259724,3.5319928980526925,411,17,73,14,9,145,64,97,0.0,0.7979999999999999,0.202,0.9286,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,6,0,11,2,0,1,1,14,21,7,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,9,3,15,15,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,49,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625828770142524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414741827375095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086896885493696,0.18520641209272465,0.10972380518585843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104400658054082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887299331616178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3891300530006984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017127827289089,0.0,0.0,0.21765280350440835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16487723123482712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196233421808547,0.0,0.0,0.15517906429981146,0.0,0.17774914961505245,0.22078769259211428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45550110074002104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055428102206646,0.0,0.0,0.1371484822914893,0.0,0.0,0.12432811536316575
mentalhealth,joy-division-slut,2019/04/14,"I (21 m) found disturbing notes in my girlfriends (18 f) phone. My girlfriend was taking a call on her parents home phone and needed me to write out details of someone’s address and phone number. 

She tossed me her phone and let me go into her notes to write it down. I don’t think she realized that a note was open. I read it and was so confused https://imgur.com/gallery/ltyee3q 
It says “why can’t I find the strength to swallow pills” over and over and over and over. (I ss all of the notes and sent them over her snap chat because it was a long phone call and she didn’t notice) 

I started looking through her other notes and there were a few notes like it https://imgur.com/gallery/lOOuVkk 
This note was written a month before we started dating https://imgur.com/gallery/4v1XYxa (we met on tinder) 

Maybe this looks like I’m exposing her privacy it’s not meant to I just don’t know how to deal with this or what to do. She has Dysthymia and I know her self-esteem is a little low. But this is all so much and I didn’t realize her suffering was this bad. I don’t want her to ever feel this way I feel like I need to talk to her about this. But I don’t know how without her being angry that I saw her personal notes.",2.688217571712069,4.9437131203319495,2.9894677972217214,92.2925112754826,77.54771784232365,5.851055385170486,21.681580371639907,6.8959733430537185,0.3921104456070719,966,27,202,10,23,296,126,241,0.073,0.858,0.069,-0.4207,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,2,0,1,1,8,9,0,2,8,0,20,2,0,2,3,46,42,19,0,3,6,1,2,3,2,0,1,1,2,1,17,18,1,0,11,2,0,2,9,5,0,0,15,6,38,4,26,25,4,23,0,2,3,0,38,14,0,2,9,136,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083199235722726,0.09551851259072144,0.0,0.1333340821949371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200018570865877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16154345746289953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173766197141044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845723539858786,0.11194140991291862,0.0,0.0,0.14321443456772065,0.0,0.0,0.17180563235222293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905216286513427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717571372079925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25834289261300303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022906478616974,0.0,0.2296566484122698,0.15704740959791938,0.0,0.13866824954502718,0.2631650752265113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741903800650314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250707452671178,0.0,0.11518728081494,0.2323715392804031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17839585873929048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398887677905664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681816071799702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673526250145312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12460845081748273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634648255763048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276535110279813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218160244545632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781352944275593,0.12594378479563514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040245718758938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924215081213211,0.12437549817151887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139093340237974,0.0,0.0,0.15104632465991405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,delongehoppus1992,2019/04/14,"negative thoughts I deal with a lot of negative thoughts. 
My brain tries to convince me that i'm doing something wrong with nearly everything I do. And it's really starting to become a hindrance on everyday life. I'm unmedicated, but was once medicated. They have gotten a lot worse since I got off them. However I would prefer to deal with them instead of going back on meds.
I literally cannot do anything without my brain saying ""

""oh, so you're feeling this, or you want this, or oh you wish this"".
They're so strong that I feel them everywhere. In my eyes, in my hands.

I know that they're not true. But even typing that my brain tries to tell me that they are. Asking for help. Please drop any advice you think could help, or has helped you.",2.341187214611871,4.7593568630137035,3.4005205479452063,88.01868036529682,79.68493150684931,6.633059360730593,22.74703196347032,7.793537801064563,1.1227557990867578,586,19,118,10,15,188,90,146,0.117,0.726,0.157,0.8009999999999999,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,5,1,5,4,0,0,3,0,10,7,5,0,1,25,25,8,0,5,7,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,4,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,5,5,23,3,17,18,2,11,0,0,1,0,17,6,0,5,3,78,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800918764836226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604184576763793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622098585844053,0.0,0.13203181401873668,0.0,0.0,0.10859783398171473,0.0,0.0,0.15597841808513205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4729811312532785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276137073114335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912056849085946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932816684891072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126929214079079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14282115935758538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026476740999823,0.0,0.11295524154365233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839922584102638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761680166043945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975555176010363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401388983114341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15687567656970014,0.14227525980840816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040628474191536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502910243151033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047612225342544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123124694605403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168276486724452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872643627001673,0.0,0.0,0.0999639483075746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344201971970463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904950493539258,0.0,0.22424309632210265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917730024578341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330163596670455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240854940691166,0.13614153465675966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392633893704956,0.10032636958875192,0.15441380348593267,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lostorange86,2019/04/14,"Seeking advice for intrusive thoughts. Scared and confused. I've been having these extremely powerful intrusive thoughts lately. I've been having them since about May of last year, but they've been increasing in intensity over the last few weeks. I usually only used to get them a few times per week, whenever I did something shameful/embarrassing/dumb. But for a few weeks now, they've been playing on a loop in my head almost constantly. It's really scary and I feel exhausted having to fight them off 24/7. 

The thoughts are:

1. Visions of committing suicide via slitting my wrist. I had a self-harm addiction back in 2013, but haven't cut for years and I don't want to start again. The urges to cut are SO strong lately, it's difficult to keep fighting them constantly.
2. ""I want to kill myself."" and ""I want to die."" These play on a loop in my head and it's so disturbing.
3. Visions of me vomiting. I had bulimia for years and I've been mostly recovered for a while now. It makes sense that the urges are back for this because that was what I used to cope with scary feelings.

Basically, I'm scared. I don't want to act on any of these thoughts. They're just SO disturbing and cause a lot of unease. I'm wondering what started this... Part of me thinks it's because I stopped using my eating disorder as a coping mechanism, so now my brain is like SELF-HARM!!! That's what happened when I tried to recover many years ago. Part of me thinks that maybe it's because of stress from getting a second job a few weeks ago. Maybe it's a number of things. All I know is that I'm really freaked out. I don't have friends to talk to and I don't want to worry my family because they have severe anxiety. What can I do? SOS",1.980363310524602,4.3881006099706745,3.2607649071358766,88.55559180514828,81.02346041055718,7.190648419680677,24.428233952427497,8.256446698504663,1.6474652329749109,1352,51,276,29,36,438,164,341,0.235,0.68,0.085,-0.9957,2,0,1,0,3,3,51.0,0,0,5,2,13,20,5,7,15,0,27,8,4,5,2,43,55,18,3,5,4,0,2,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,22,10,1,2,10,2,0,2,5,15,0,1,13,2,31,5,42,41,10,41,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,6,30,171,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976669818323544,0.0,0.08754690081055229,0.15883332874490058,0.0,0.08971204802125711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060924682540014485,0.0,0.0685365664204653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777928791323954,0.0,0.21845440125753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001274284385173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203422861265644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19363122937314206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929809018509816,0.0,0.10267859332179707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167355365000107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445804757496524,0.0,0.09059940200347226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921747798786441,0.0,0.0936147851756851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922467475503478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18389161206281449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890484986915173,0.07963224478765543,0.0991187287673478,0.0,0.04923665266049003,0.1460565986237663,0.2021242059715888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043769443450437207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616672726453769,0.0,0.0,0.05980242348660384,0.09083081009901957,0.18001160592605114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813769103240495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940357859957469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478806933964353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17939164652505055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869250767699194,0.10121188094927494,0.0,0.07411027297919165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06897122353816673,0.0,0.0,0.12682538048717024,0.0,0.0,0.07490175608748588,0.10262573355913952,0.0,0.0,0.09799757903306994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200953342292274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05952001601770046,0.11481208236396998,0.0,0.28449972709328114,0.05224100134137147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060826138862201465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321325487813696,0.09867139243718877,0.0,0.26421429564223514,0.0,0.2874567122689936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715718776434684,0.0,0.09098360663682148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307736451189249
mentalhealth,Dix_B_Flopping,2019/04/14,"ADD Ever since I was a kid, I've struggled with concentrating on a specified task, maintaining interest, totally losing myself in my thoughts, among a long list of other things of symptoms of ADD. I never thought much about it but only when my teacher and I were talking about my problems, she mentioned I could have ADD. This thought never occured to me but when we talked about it and I did some tests online, was it starting to make sense. (My teacher has ADHD and has a bachelor in pedagogics so she is quite educated on the subject.) 

I talked about it with my girlfriend and she agreed that it very well could be ADD.
I brought up the subject to my mum but she just wrote it off as me being lazy. 

I struggle a lot with my symptoms and can't get any work done for school because of a major problem I have regarding procrasination and not being able to start doing something. And even if I start doing something, I get distracted and don't get any work done.

I would like to talk to a doctor about this but I'm afraid my mum won't take it seriously and won't allow it (even though I'm 19.)

I have no idea what to do so if anyone has got an idea that would be great.

The fact that I couldn't even properly concentrate while writing this might say enough.

TL:DR: Might have ADD, what to do?",3.2790199335548174,4.9684812209302365,4.1572425249169465,87.13941860465118,74.0,7.08482834994463,26.626799557032115,7.793537801064563,1.4529311184939098,1017,37,208,14,21,327,137,258,0.097,0.831,0.07200000000000001,-0.6629,0,0,2,0,0,0,26.0,1,0,0,4,16,12,0,4,11,0,33,3,0,2,5,51,49,22,0,9,8,2,0,1,1,6,3,1,0,1,18,18,0,0,5,0,0,1,9,8,1,0,12,1,30,4,29,24,6,18,0,1,0,0,17,7,0,6,11,157,48,5,0.10788318595662708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965462463952704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672853184517476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543443202988838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576458882363027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17227189090325873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104230122286148,0.0,0.22080391095152094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147217008661224,0.0,0.213767480561379,0.09758651812672768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909353584413156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628403912610902,0.11894159337828497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24357397071700976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0527062752681971,0.0,0.0,0.09547322468573616,0.0,0.12069368963522775,0.0,0.09171842676108592,0.0,0.0,0.07201286435271667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22889402332294634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930655487659274,0.0,0.16641232759440208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820500243225603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064592780359572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474704786871838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579303958672972,0.0,0.10918354379652064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924208625740447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610749449000173,0.0,0.0,0.2290808228754343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255658598256588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22426387588614333,0.08111472961123277,0.3468496733179361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167279501163237,0.0,0.10599468244953272,0.2569415969422553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901492685545889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699994042478556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15708048851793588,0.0,0.0,0.1532742399675354,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shrampdinna122,2019/04/14,"I think I have a horrible toxic personality. How can I fix it? My issues with this go way back to when I was a young boy in school. I’ve always been labeled as a mean kid, despite not having any idea on how or why. Up until the last two years I had no idea on why people thought of me like this. I started dating my gf and she told me that a lot of the things I say are really horrible despite me not remembering saying them. It happens quite often where I’ll answer her questions and she will be upset with me because I said something shitty without knowing it. Is that anything some of you have dealt with, or am I just being a huge asshole and have to thing before I talk?

Another topic is my serial cheating. On all of my past girlfriends I have cheated on in one way or another. Yes that’s horrible and terrible I know, but why? Aside from the obvious being a huge dick what could drive a person to do that, and project onto another? I used to have “bad anxiety” about my past partners cheating despite being the perpetrator. Do you have any suggestions on why or how to fix that?

Thank you in advance for replying. I’m tired of feeling like an asshole without really knowing why or being talked to in honesty about it. 

Tl;dr
I’m an asshole that says mean shit and cheats. How do I fix that?",2.663635451505016,4.603737838461541,4.431003344481606,83.42877926421406,76.38461538461539,7.137123745819397,27.07357859531773,8.04050195162591,1.8478946488294319,1018,41,197,17,23,344,144,260,0.172,0.742,0.086,-0.9759,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,3,1,2,11,11,5,1,13,1,25,3,2,5,2,44,42,19,0,1,11,0,1,2,3,1,1,4,0,5,16,9,0,0,13,0,0,3,5,8,0,2,6,5,30,3,33,29,3,29,0,0,0,1,23,14,2,9,12,146,46,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560434251643878,0.0,0.0,0.13992375932653267,0.32363572765412496,0.07870286413544786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466141567756304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910831504739999,0.08590044346682481,0.06271464985743762,0.0,0.08754324216445729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214125193765771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0520191833282658,0.07349744187618913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058469034553171165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097638150076176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322778346393956,0.0,0.1073799168929721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16962035540486345,0.08386087338436789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005238733446472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746483666495188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241328060600488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971410248392458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19642106678702625,0.07132398901843877,0.179661571581074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524906572402414,0.10942546829511318,0.0,0.0,0.13181503389277902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165429043803549,0.0,0.09786237180188476,0.2454427466573203,0.0,0.10411998070506624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560476875484004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920199564825363,0.0,0.0,0.07281894330810622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538197991047845,0.0,0.09471801632321396,0.0,0.0,0.13669770689247662,0.0659213044315945,0.0,0.08167517187331867,0.0,0.11824534420446632,0.0,0.09830618103845383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049874165235424,0.0,0.0,0.08885522674165755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633225980411441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4641656701325082,0.0,0.0,0.198345160668248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625130126307799
mentalhealth,Guminism19,2019/04/14,"Giving up. Hello... 

​

I usually don't look for simpathy through internet while dealing with my mental health issues but i figured i'd speak a little about what is happening.

​

Ok so, i always have been a pretty positive guy, even when things seems to go wrong. But recently i lost my boyfriend, my health is in a tough patch, some of my friends dislike me because the distress that the breakup caused me made me act in ways that i usually dont.

​

So i decided to give up, give up being the positive cheerful guy, give up trying to believe in love, i give up always swimming against the current to try and be happy. If the universe wants me sad... Then so be it.

​

So, theres that... I don't even know if im going trough some depression or something, i just... Don't feel like feeling anything anymore.",4.177082728592161,6.113078503144656,4.690691823899376,83.21699564586359,72.1446540880503,7.408030962747944,32.9854862119013,8.139509932561175,2.63149404934688,658,33,119,10,13,209,101,159,0.139,0.6559999999999999,0.205,0.9454,1,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,1,10,12,0,1,8,1,11,3,0,2,0,19,28,13,0,3,6,0,2,1,1,0,2,1,0,2,6,2,0,0,6,1,0,4,4,6,0,0,3,4,17,6,18,22,2,21,0,3,1,1,12,9,0,6,8,79,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268447931290218,0.3715954081222036,0.4167321348607147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503067288744924,0.0,0.0,0.07055640904856278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052266081936679115,0.0,0.0,0.09659920094050113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807821689026009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883937925234245,0.07384741668760215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048620644942477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326043244318065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670506506198193,0.06125240797755389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624222455832628,0.0,0.0,0.41124632333273003,0.09745561388483608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979142504108852,0.07581927062704434,0.09127142922607848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822744321901892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261351214541537,0.08948989665795416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047120257727511036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04188805177711272,0.08593363271012032,0.0,0.0,0.0719996941514208,0.0,0.09359493317656704,0.0,0.0773833625300795,0.08112890990944115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864053796985649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722802648705401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465753977729552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805413794408342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660065551431791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05696159960423512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642315977569473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18886017593570686,0.0,0.05057145452922026,0.0680561265249366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374282450820062,0.4167321348607147,0.0
mentalhealth,amandarf,2019/04/14,"New here, and Not Ashamed! Hi, I’m Amanda and I’m new here. I’ve been dealing with mental health issues all my life. I struggle with depression, anxiety , PTSD, and an eating disorder. I’ve really been working hard the past 4 years at getting myself to a point that I can function like a “normal” adult, whatever normal means. I’ve run into a lot of stigmas regarding mental illness and now my mission in life is to raise awareness and to reach out to others who struggle so they know they are not alone. I’m still working through things, and I’m not where I want to be, but I’m thankful that I’m not where I was!",1.6094727047146409,3.905435443548389,3.1654838709677438,89.3566873449132,81.66129032258064,5.750868486352358,24.86104218362283,7.010146845296331,1.111846898263027,481,19,96,6,13,158,78,124,0.116,0.792,0.093,0.3481,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,2,7,6,0,3,5,0,7,5,0,0,1,22,18,8,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,10,1,0,2,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,1,9,2,13,14,2,14,0,1,0,0,6,7,0,1,7,59,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810180895048155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416493235190372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673320930705994,0.13979536853697666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860186650666912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608127867946562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479906475885306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453958024508959,0.0,0.0,0.17252547594649675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940705098130995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920005722665471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292854313839393,0.07929533486931742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379881869227002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768006476511057,0.0,0.0,0.3271359362409809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135155410484205,0.0,0.0,0.3180541340385994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494104781324736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343322181781455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18972899440861526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039784571123961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296191243787673,0.0,0.0,0.3393584596700521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943110671345142,0.0,0.0,0.10783001174997923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573327599623656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23632385090929545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452082563855047
mentalhealth,SAHMstruggles,2019/04/14,"Bipolar Disorder and memory loss. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was 17 (currently almost 21). Back then my memory was off but not as bad. As of this last year, my memory spirals and I can’t remember ANYTHING. I don’t even remember taking off my wedding ring within the last hour or where I put it. I’m guessing it’s because I’m currently in an episode and my minds jumbled and I can’t focus on anything but I just lost a $1300 ring and can’t find it anywhere. It’s getting bad. I can’t even remember the day some days. 

I’m going to start going to see someone again and try to figure this out but has this happened to anyone else? What can I do until I find a provider?",1.8230769230769253,3.671958580419581,4.130769230769232,85.0392307692308,78.58041958041956,7.476923076923077,27.08391608391609,8.384062270229773,2.023360839160839,539,23,110,11,13,187,82,143,0.067,0.8759999999999999,0.058,0.3839,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,7,4,0,0,5,0,11,3,0,0,0,24,23,15,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,8,8,0,0,6,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,4,3,14,0,15,19,1,24,0,2,1,0,1,7,0,4,14,73,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455160087040209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093701511965912,0.14790969837370868,0.2375852430960779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100079127568076,0.2410623254972947,0.08799802845733387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861952511832074,0.0,0.0,0.14651821928016892,0.0,0.0,0.3308887795376129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059084711203333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19069144630545876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638773897703148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542000969076998,0.0,0.16408159108529574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902431978605092,0.0,0.12765346257131108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216150208802386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353386820881468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758153831220809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575832710581785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511757012919685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4905813477142401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150329777474432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231230185243518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217586257798053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853768589325426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800819333890612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296047904495047
mentalhealth,M_A1422,2019/04/14,"what's next? first social anxiety, then depression, then anxiety, then panic disorder, then body dysmorphia, then binge eating disorder and a very unhealthy relationship with food, and oh and now.... i find out that the reason i struggle so much with sleep is because i have insomnia.... what's next? what's missing? what am i gonna have in the future? i'm just so tired of this, people keep saying oh ""get 7 hours of sleep a night"" but i can't even sleep for 5 hours straight. i'm just so so tired of this. why can't i just live one week, just one week, without problems. GOD.


sorry i'm so negative, it's just i haven't slept for a few days and i feel like i'm gonna go insane, and i just wanted to vent.",1.0739540229885025,3.198021820689661,2.8282758620689665,92.00264367816094,82.51724137931033,6.349425287356322,20.701149425287355,7.554174236665415,0.6672666666666665,544,16,120,9,15,180,82,145,0.252,0.6809999999999999,0.067,-0.9756,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,13,6,0,2,5,0,7,10,5,1,0,22,20,16,0,2,8,0,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,8,8,2,1,3,0,0,1,5,5,0,3,1,2,9,1,11,17,2,20,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,17,70,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003166044057685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981148998795032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542966370319438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443666685565362,0.0,0.11276667657504998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001058884858501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397034561316148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647562180881728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620029831662794,0.09353381322826217,0.0,0.0,0.11966431533128705,0.11136588955519634,0.1583166665656863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840361601106237,0.0,0.07440846399451148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578721705355365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637335885204825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396400306175684,0.0,0.11561036898013413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624593453304914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784833249284236,0.12286551373286432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774381713064712,0.0,0.0,0.1536138663829578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076784847537032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527883848005986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461409733493854,0.0,0.1405659060306922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104117891444214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930627213760508,0.13346292963075393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656133384465747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687265202386772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30096116701757475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080279535017766,0.07722375558445006,0.0,0.21004244713000567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11814066990326184,0.0,0.0,0.1262083328282737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,darthwookius,2019/04/14,"Advice on a siblings recent psychosis and health care options First time here in this sub but haven't been totally sure where to turn for the proper advice on how to support and help my family at this point. I might be omitting important details from this write up but doing my best to keep the relevant information. Let me know if there is somewhere better to seek this kind of advice and thank you for reading.   


**TL;DR**  
Sister was hospitalized for her recently onset psychosis. Haven't had any contact or communication from her doctors, only the nursing staff that has been willing to speak with my parents and keep them informed but only after repeated visits and calls. Do doctors in these cases not communicate like this as a norm? We're trying to set up a transfer to a facility better suited for care beyond dosing and monitoring but have no real direction. *More details below.*   


\_\_\_\_\_  


Long story short (not that short I guess), my little sister in her early twenties recently had a disassociate break. It seemingly began with a slow build of delusions like feeling psychic, seeing future and past versions of people, feeling as if she had a separate reality to retreat to, pointing and laughing at hallucinations and giggling to herself. Enough to the point where my father and brother were very concerned and at least in the state she was in, still she was able to have a moment of clarity and realize she probably needed help. This then lead to a large period of mania where my parents decided it was time to go to the hospital rather than figure out psychological options like therapy etc. The manic episode (hope I'm using these terms right) was really gnarly with lots of shouting, nonsensical speech, really horrid words thrown at my parents, trying to escape the vehicle while they were on their way, it wasn't fun.   


Fast forward to now, she was stabilized after being sedated and voluntarily signed herself into a behavioral hospital. She's been there for close to two weeks now with mixed results, the first antipsychotic seemed to be helping get her back on her feet after she finally decided to take the medication. Prior to that it was alot of catatonic staring and passively disruptive behavior. When her first date of potential release was up, her doctor made a 14 day hold since she hadn't had multiple days while medicated and in a stable state. After realizing this and having a social worker take her to court and expedite her release, she had a relapse and had her medication switched, probably due to the pressure and being overwhelmed from all of it. We're now at a handful of better days on her new medication but the only real updates or information are coming from the limited conversations we can have with her on the phone, which just feels really backwards to be getting that from the patient themselves and not from the physicians in place to take care of her.   


**So here's where my real question is:** the current doctor only visits the hospital once a week, and has not had a single form of communication with my parents, let alone a conversation with my sister (that she can recall). I'm not even sure if they've distinguished who her doctor is vs. nursing staff vs. PA/resident etc. I don't know if this is standard procedure, but we're very much so feeling like and confident that the hospital she is at is only meant to medicate and hold patients, no testing or treatment beyond light group therapy. *What the heck do we do in this situation?* The only respite has been a very friendly nursing staff who realized she was not in there because of drugs and is actually a very compassionate and loving person who is clearly very confused and feeling imprisoned and just wanting to go home.   


We've tried contacting the doctor when he's at the hospital, when he's back in Southern California for the weekdays, tried to get in contact at that location, nothing. Zero paperwork, email, calls, nothing. No follow up from his staff or anything. Is this normal? Is this really how that side of the health care industry works?  


Feeling frustrated and helpless on my end since I'm not nearby where she or my family is and want to make sure that she is getting the kind of care she needs to rebuild a stable path, not just be dosed up and tossed back out. We're trying to move her from her current place to a university hospital that can actually run tests and do more than stone wall the people trying to help, but without any kind of contact or recommendation from a doctor or even best practices for a transfer or assurances or concerns, literally nothing, I'm just feeling concerned that this might be the normal way that we're made to just swim upstream ourselves rather than have any sort of guidance. Thankfully she sounds like she's on board for heading to a better location but is wanting to see if she can be at home for a bit before hand, yet we have nobody to tell us if even one night back home is a good idea or not given that she was grabbing for the door handle on the way to the hospital in her manic state. Something like that keeps me on red alert of not wanting any unmonitored time during transfer (since the ambulance will not do it unfortunately).   


Any words of advice or others who have gone through this kind of thing personally or known someone would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for reading and for your help.",9.28407852165257,8.533850216463417,9.06643023062884,65.828362369338,60.046747967479675,11.853791272606607,39.39057574249212,11.041547156221645,4.502628654388585,4319,190,702,94,49,1403,405,984,0.062,0.7929999999999999,0.146,0.9983,6,1,2,0,0,0,96.0,4,3,3,13,39,43,1,3,60,0,79,23,4,8,7,167,137,71,0,18,47,9,10,6,1,5,18,4,4,2,43,47,0,6,25,3,0,12,20,5,0,6,31,19,66,38,139,90,19,134,0,2,4,1,95,61,1,31,61,520,109,21,0.043996628517298166,0.0,0.0858687256858391,0.0,0.0,0.17197198475704278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556723845500428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495960805022035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03620547651403663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353227663199924,0.0,0.026819936382203056,0.0,0.037437890363412295,0.0,0.0923434945052633,0.15564577030183033,0.048032923314007735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985095366825051,0.0,0.22428747497483376,0.0,0.0,0.03789919973992662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512255693017898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152268950896239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05102212107496987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03896795397512693,0.045460278298506136,0.09813574156060724,0.08717807458076847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295221153288869,0.0,0.15572212130383953,0.03143120020369986,0.0,0.04819615600248802,0.0,0.1122705292233772,0.0,0.0,0.03399168605410873,0.0,0.09194569002565008,0.0,0.050008595778165216,0.03690228459440818,0.0,0.048506438262064334,0.04846724653556199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04515323388638246,0.09353271747757244,0.0,0.0,0.14745006343009348,0.0,0.13239661700601102,0.04369857935815213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049666838308000734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731867484743505,0.0,0.183262872868642,0.04835879284373827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997906704343725,0.0,0.12896718202802845,0.044096180103364926,0.0,0.03893563174465044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03740436023108228,0.039708674979924384,0.0832613473940819,0.029368091174715942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216098727555098,0.0,0.09334694025460263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046761453322112616,0.06468516855434664,0.06524588513264178,0.0,0.042492217982351865,0.0,0.04128785545013158,0.08621470915643728,0.12664785497394154,0.0,0.0,0.04685497347630218,0.029813254125016862,0.2007685113084972,0.0,0.0,0.19541219727404133,0.0,0.04199976024204609,0.06100344504347467,0.07683231798446492,0.09193422519107974,0.0,0.12477310474781587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487161376794599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049286293040829175,0.0,0.08801706925962338,0.15023338602143352,0.1127414673049636,0.0,0.13032408860405698,0.0,0.0,0.03757288036027857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011923333118003,0.08010575640868596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091833972743697,0.04945405383991616,0.0,0.04484902214730836,0.037278200568250736,0.033870754113407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03513576436667625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0499268526577936,0.12439890509652733,0.0,0.09923996759109252,0.0,0.038454992554018436,0.12151855321579855,0.10062795810745252,0.0,0.02922940501767362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696436369985228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922493649220286,0.0478556978769019,0.04297831310124015,0.0,0.05292252694432102,0.03799896091032486,0.0,0.1815091311322883,0.10380140565136382,0.10476742752762397,0.07058288312170971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0424111798673255,0.0,0.032030069557909706,0.0,0.0,0.03125394257374833,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,April-Cherry-Blossom,2019/04/14,"Sudden mood swings So I noticed some time ago I have these sudden mood swings. I didn't give it too much importance until now but my friends started noticing too, I’m very cheerful and talkative especially around my friends but sometimes my mood changes out of nowhere and I find myself suddenly spacing out and brooding, I stop talking and I feel like I want to be alone. Idk what this is and I don't want to be that kind of person who diagnosticates himself with bipolarity.",2.8092424242424237,5.735668833333335,3.3342424242424222,85.73045454545455,82.8888888888889,5.9393939393939394,29.292929292929287,7.348242739294969,1.9777777777777776,385,19,70,6,11,120,63,90,0.071,0.698,0.231,0.9397,0,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,17,12,9,0,2,2,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,13,5,9,9,2,13,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,10,47,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017538607767828,0.0,0.0,0.22219712655201168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909846999320542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22695322694642886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847708343435628,0.1532663072448299,0.0,0.0,0.19608425110444966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315037392638649,0.0,0.0,0.2058048244187181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22340877533805684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481264697235963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577104414337173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.488506880840813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187326694148213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212184006828242,0.0,0.15185141487107695,0.0,0.0,0.1793637455613804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243787469785027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250990919561496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701668456547662,0.2530806655155093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MrSutter,2019/04/14,"I'm scared that getting help will only speed up my road to suicide. After a minor freak out today in which I texted my mother that her insistence on treating me like a child was a major reason why I'll be killing myself, she managed to convince me to finally seek professional help. 

I would be willing to bet everything I own that I have clinical depression combined with some kind of antisocial disorder. For more than 5 years I've felt myself caring less and less about everything with each passing day. I've lost all my interests. My creativity has shriveled up and died (I began college has a Film Studies major, I have several short films I directed or wrote on YouTube and I'm a published author of a single short story, but after my freshman year, when I failed to be accepted into the next year of Film school, all my abilities seemed to disappear). Food all tastes the same. I can't sleep unless I'm loaded up on booze or weed or unless I just physically exhaust myself by walking around town all night. I can still recognize when something is funny, but laughing feeling hollow and joyless, and even then what I find funny is now pretty much only extremely dark humor or absurdity. I still feel negative emotions. Hatred most of all. Hatred for the world at large, hatred for the people I'm forced to interact with in real life, and most of all hatred for myself. I truly believe that I am irredeemably worthless and that because of this there is no reason not to kill myself. Since I quit my job in February in a fit of rage and subsequently became a NEET because I'd rather die than go back to begging in the dirt and serving worthless pieces of shit, my suicidal thoughts have been getting worse. I cannot drive anywhere now without picking out structures that look solid enough to kill me if I crashed into them going fast enough. Just randomly the image of putting a gun in my mouth and my brains blowing out the back of my head pops into my head multiple times a day, so much so that I've thought about going into my grandfather's house one morning while I knew he would be out, in order to steal his revolver, but I never did. But even still, I have agreed to at least try to fix myself. 

But how the hell am I supposed to do that, when being honest with whoever I end up talking to will get me sent against my will to a place that will only make me more resolved to end myself? If I tell them I want to die, I will be institutionalized, no questions asked, and that cannot happen. I CANNOT be locked up against my will with strangers and monitored 24/7. There is no result there other than killing myself. I hate being personally restricted. I hate hospitalals. I hate being in close proximity to unfamiliar people. I hate people who think they know what's best for me even though they don't know me at all. Most of all I hate embarrassment, and the entire philosophy of institutionalization seems to be ""embarrass them until they break"".

How is this supposed to work? How am I supposed to get help, if their idea of help will literally kill me?",7.65866335814723,7.165880805128207,7.765232974910398,73.00096774193553,63.17094017094017,10.420181968569066,34.768403639371385,9.778596075983213,3.2774565756823817,2441,93,439,42,31,793,292,585,0.236,0.642,0.122,-0.9984,1,0,1,2,0,7,53.0,0,0,7,6,28,36,13,3,20,0,44,13,6,8,9,94,81,39,10,7,19,1,3,1,0,10,4,0,0,2,17,29,3,1,18,3,1,9,12,24,0,1,11,5,74,12,87,50,29,78,1,5,1,0,26,36,2,16,32,328,91,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429382343841587,0.06751879895514118,0.0,0.0,0.11107012918166298,0.0,0.08805299742605628,0.0,0.0,0.08137064111748382,0.07579363135048832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062480533702637,0.0,0.0,0.07363620918116978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931557800816416,0.0,0.062205604003301475,0.0,0.22486835873007155,0.0,0.08277386824371552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124120620250794,0.1279363642841229,0.1492514266611901,0.0,0.14310792291369334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981883420496246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303628460210755,0.0,0.06934545059494743,0.07911681705645207,0.06601055594531201,0.0,0.08733239434393994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093424331419875,0.0,0.12313806488717415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386660137885196,0.0,0.0,0.35652652950176345,0.14824336383638967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936383423235453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08333569865150357,0.0,0.08153102832482383,0.0,0.0,0.07167022931676913,0.0,0.3995205003325337,0.07520918880563676,0.0793837949709391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05101327353567826,0.035284532326156706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060649169106195985,0.0,0.07883998670564786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04820944426869355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10618449833459374,0.0,0.05570286576500584,0.0,0.07681002916003768,0.06777643648868323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048940205362948665,0.16478664376335966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021109985624462,0.06306237831172949,0.07545771155788693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347680280540032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260410973444242,0.08090634094761981,0.07681809991794057,0.0,0.08220563839859975,0.0,0.1485146407858541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230786882203773,0.07309357872414989,0.0,0.1314982978025789,0.0,0.08159148491777644,0.07413591921893198,0.0597436502841451,0.0,0.07227520498370478,0.0,0.0,0.055600829589317405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303225436029152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800058089351438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058050148906501564,0.06312612588121021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04627761187084958,0.07095877635557273,0.11467406283989848,0.04211383913683291,0.0,0.06845900313331874,0.0,0.0,0.04903470763545215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0425990239797214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517006576668996,0.0,0.0,0.0696204394088661,0.0,0.05257923792486186,0.0,0.07360145443174101,0.10261035991220784,0.0,0.0,0.13952782179725862
mentalhealth,CodeMeStop,2019/04/14,"Odd thoughts I’ve been having some odd thoughts since I was 7yo and I still do (killing, erotic, injuring animals, suicide etc)
I wouldn’t call them intrusive as I enjoy the thoughts and I purposefully bring them but I also feel bad and disgust of what I’m thinking. Though sometimes the thoughts come and I don’t like them but there is nothing I can do.
This has been going on since I was 7 and it’s got worse the thoughts more worse I imagine myself killing etc. and I know it’s not normally and I know I won’t act on them. I don’t want to act on them but I somehow find enjoyment from them.
Could I have some advice please.",0.4373734610123101,2.8623160387596904,1.6391792065663502,96.82596443228458,90.16279069767441,4.895759233926128,23.09211126310989,6.522977012572876,0.541582398540811,495,20,109,6,17,156,73,129,0.224,0.6679999999999999,0.108,-0.9578,0,0,0,0,0,1,11.0,0,0,6,0,5,7,3,0,3,0,16,1,0,0,0,30,31,13,3,4,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,11,0,0,5,5,4,0,0,10,1,23,3,7,18,5,9,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,3,2,74,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405262128651018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500214146773152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007256204066452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14684268788495075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387671207247213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481792376533385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207648996481269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271297289518841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314366904449377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172864417812656,0.0,0.1150153304128998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182015456565364,0.0,0.15806476913456038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025667465503023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090000284798346,0.13798637766199914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785653853774148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379167257719625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222847304546898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11484419185008912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573011554260061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214550701616699,0.1412893224217928,0.5708321602395736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482089944398899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29310256348867986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maxisawholemess,2019/04/14,"Constant anxiety, lost track of how many times I've isolated myself and cried. Please help... I'm 15F, and a freshie in high school. I'll be a sophomore in just a few months. Since age 12, I've started noticing I'm showing tons of symptoms of what I think might be depression and anxiety, but I'm too scared to do anything about it because nobody believes me, and now it's affecting every aspect of my life. At the moment this is probably around the seventh time I've isolated myself and cried since Friday, I don't know, because of something shitty that happened at school, and everything Google tells me to try (anxiety tricks, distraction, etc) isn't working. I'm at the point where I've got a bad headache from crying so much and I'm seriously considering faking sick or forcing myself to vomit so I don't have to go back to school tomorrow, even though I don't have any more days I can be absent (I ran out because of shit just like this, not from being actually sick). I don't know what to do. Please help...",5.790433333333333,6.002161710000002,6.309000000000001,79.51533333333336,66.9,9.466666666666667,32.66666666666667,9.2995712137729,2.790766666666668,802,32,156,14,12,261,118,200,0.253,0.711,0.036000000000000004,-0.9925,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,13,10,2,2,7,0,16,6,1,2,0,20,30,13,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,3,1,0,2,6,9,0,0,3,0,13,1,22,22,5,23,0,2,0,0,3,10,1,2,12,91,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.11629649003126688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104230706062608,0.0,0.2735030153212689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806992720252533,0.10608999598507038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163733721817527,0.09950518982035812,0.21794182497992734,0.0,0.0,0.13426812293602738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878459840211884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927206464599907,0.07685727653383245,0.0,0.10264426543679407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291034889546838,0.0787132063154192,0.0,0.10040911154334026,0.0,0.10710577519769854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677292473358802,0.0,0.09531421742388486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538504511794264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597594439171742,0.12591371937580753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098966649282354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417601715302109,0.058222325141428576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300923389799147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082358242532434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12642462573028432,0.0,0.0,0.09512343291996604,0.0,0.0876064946797269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356802221474257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616342079260877,0.11265781199986287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12848957052397092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193138174519488,0.36183090654767947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223302480963758,0.19716368633293305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174585477168508,0.0,0.0,0.08435186692824695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386726469360945,0.0,0.0,0.10416320080428003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763617933265355,0.1170877060356966,0.0,0.13898246475330744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091122378430432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675998473927582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,methodtomysaddness,2019/04/14,"I get incredibly sad out of nowhere Maybe it’s stress, idk. It all kinda piles up and not sure how things could get worse and i don’t know how to deal",-0.4631818181818197,1.6377807878787929,0.8578030303030317,103.60670454545456,89.6060606060606,4.512121212121213,14.31060606060606,5.985473137389443,-1.1949939393939393,118,2,31,1,4,37,28,33,0.272,0.6629999999999999,0.064,-0.7596,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,11,5,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,4,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28617583754333964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695238459578361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745279936240116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19698282380383328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36008941039599396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4105784146378631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378144374998526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381238405636842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.365269066195211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blueblue2310,2019/04/14,"HIV-STAG DO FROM HELL!  

Hey everyone I'm new to this forum just over 4 weeks ago me and the boys went on a stag do, we ended up at a strip club where I met this girl who squeezed her way in between us as we sat around a large sofa having the best of times. She immediately starting talking to me out of the group, obviously showing interest and made it clear to me that she was only a hostess and that this was her first night working at the strip club and said she was ""nervous"" so I took her word for it as the naive tourist I am. She then told me she hasn't eaten in a day so I offered to buy her food to which she agreed but that I couldn't be seen leaving the place with her as her boss would get mad so she went out first after her shift finished and I followed suite. I popped into the shop and got her some water and a sandwich to eat, It was the only thing opened at 5AM. We sat and talked for about an hour on a summer bench and by that stage the sun started to come up, one thing lead to another and we ended up back at my hotel and couldn't do much as my two friends were sleeping so she asked me did I want to go to the bathroom. I obviously agreed and we started kissing, then I asked if she had a condom and she said no, I then remember vividly sitting there with my arms folded and told her we couldn't do anything then so 5 mins pass by and it's getting slightly awkward and she turns around and was like ""okay, I think I have a condom!"" (weird) she pulls out a Durex condom, a recognised brand that I never had a problem with in the past. I looked at the condom packet, everything seemed good and it didn't expire to 2021.

I go to put on the condom and she tells me to turn off the light, I thought nothing of it, so we go at it for a good 10 minutes, later when it was over with I turn on the light to find that the entire head of condom had been exposed, that the little tip at the top of the condom wasn't there, might as well had no condom on, to make matters worse she was bleeding (heavily) my initial reaction was ""what the actual fuck!"" I was in shock but I still never gave HIV a second thought because not once in my tiny mind did I think she could have been a prostitute and still if she was working in this place surely they screen the girls and safe sex is a priority with clients. I then asked her immediately if she had any STD's and her response was ""I'm not a prostitute!"" she didn't take kindly to my question but I did press her on it there and then. After that she left and I thought nothing of it, I still had 2 days left in Poland (Krakow) that is until I got home and started to become very ill, within the space of 4 days after that initial encounter, I started Googling my symptoms and then freaked out that I'm showing symptoms of HIV and that this could have all been a malicious act on her part, the more I started to think about the circumstances surrounding everything the more I began to lose my mind. I remember thinking how odd it was for the condom to break in that way, as it was the first time it had ever happened especially with a Durex condom, so I kept it instead of throwing it away because of how unusual it was despite me using condoms for years. However, I remember I made sure to get her Instagram name before she left and doubled checked to see if that was her and I still remember thinking if she had anything to hide surely she wouldn't give me her details so like I said I thought nothing of it. I contacted her after I get home and start questioning her, she tells me that I'm a jerk and she doesn't want to talk to me, I thought what???! I tell her that I'm incredibly sick of which she showed no sympathy and then I asked openly if she had any STD's to try and settle my mind, she tells me to go see a doctor and that her health was ""ok!"". I keep pressing and she tells me she got checked in February and didn't believe me when I said she was my only sexual partner in months. I keep pressing after 2 weeks I then threaten to get the police involved, she goes for a HIV test (p24 antigen) which is basically for anyone who has just caught the virus, this test isn't accurate for someone who's had the disease for a while which in any case she would need an antibody test anyway she shows me that it's negative that clears my mind for a few days until I do my research. I tell her to go and do an antibody test, she refuses and tells me she's healthy until I tell her how sick I am and then she tells me that she has HIV, Hepatitis and Syphilis. This sent my mind spiralling out of control, I asked her why she did this to me and she said that I deserved it like who in their right mind says something like that then she accuses me of rape which is far from the truth and something I'm not worried about at all.

When I got sick I immediately went to A and E after the 4 days when I got home, I would have went to a GUM clinic at home only my nearest one only opened up on Mondays and Wednesdays and I unfortunately didn't know accident and emergency dealt with these issues. I get there and talk with a doctor and find out that I'm out of time to get pRep, a drug that stops HIV and must be taken within 72 hours of exposure and a drug that I never knew even existed, I thought once you got HIV that was it. I'm crying, I feel aches and pains all over my body, extreme fatigue and I sleep for 18 hours a day and having vivid nightmares of my ordeal, 1 week goes by and I can't keep food down, I go to another hospital they take bloods and check vitals signs, they don't know what's wrong and the male doctor there reassures me although I have swollen throat and be gives me antibiotics. Week 2- I phone an ambulance, after waking up at 4AM and feeling thirsty I go to get a glass of water only for my legs to collapse from underneath me with extreme weakness and heart pounding from my chest, the ambulance arrives they check the vitals etc and don't see any issues other than a fast heart rate. Eventually after 3 weeks I get to the GUM clinic, I meet this doctor and she also tries to reassure me after I tell her about my circumstances, I took an ELISA blood test that checks for antibodies but because it's 3 weeks it's too early to tell whether I've HIV or not. We don't have access to fourth generation tests on public healthcare so for now I have to rely on the oldschool ELISA test which can take the body up to 3 months to develop enough antibodies for the test to read. I've now been to 3 different hospitals, 2 doctors and called an ambulance, my general doctor has put me on antidepressants (sertraline) and given me valium. I have taken another antibody test at 4 weeks which is standard practice and waiting for the results. This has been beyond a absolute fucking living nightmare, my body is still aching and having this level of anxiety over my shoulders is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, I literally want to die. This was meant to be a trip of a lifetime with the boys and has turned my world upside down.",6.2238008839264936,5.246853681088627,6.6013069085833935,81.7655295650151,66.27145847871599,9.680349848802047,32.08642940218655,8.765161639123548,2.3212676045591984,5507,186,1169,73,75,1790,494,1433,0.098,0.8320000000000001,0.071,-0.9939,4,0,5,0,0,1,104.0,9,1,5,10,46,41,6,2,82,2,99,71,16,11,16,207,216,117,1,23,18,0,6,4,2,7,32,6,5,6,79,98,7,9,26,9,7,25,28,18,1,7,86,22,202,23,187,114,14,199,1,2,8,26,139,81,3,12,92,811,281,21,0.0,0.0,0.035243147012085516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032013874419373214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028881248056029717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823807893663243,0.11360955535008868,0.027627967604251957,0.0,0.0,0.0252525313076521,0.0,0.05943933236392401,0.06430022649880772,0.16881380798194165,0.0,0.03393134365417777,0.02777029768059136,0.0,0.06604632500761398,0.0398863121220372,0.030731306732729825,0.04068937243418914,0.037900589841819585,0.0,0.0,0.12034726874713556,0.0,0.0,0.036877574972892097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031109977641019058,0.0,0.0,0.04050617750617111,0.05766996849315849,0.0,0.039670762990208816,0.13974758628237818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037481792250771036,0.03773261321829219,0.0,0.22179213112787896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376414577258054,0.0369547834490377,0.0,0.0,0.0639745527716415,0.03731657267504532,0.04027790489885984,0.023853695852911003,0.03266819326250844,0.0,0.034509544409386236,0.06491588147021485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03652177916472195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601712997612262,0.0921585067192082,0.08734109182940966,0.0,0.027902451776832943,0.0667756921452169,0.16981793431414707,0.0692898270352488,0.14367538299429336,0.060583297616446374,0.17330736169812486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03193648094597148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037064531870450064,0.03838868326242744,0.0,0.08559318110832863,0.0,0.0,0.14490563822167365,0.0,0.10669835375946657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538960361494902,0.0,0.09630233293640404,0.0,0.037608339466902216,0.0396958504253178,0.0,0.0,0.03824069699175278,0.11771754918717255,0.0,0.0,0.07057609266773697,0.036196837571343635,0.03189031222223314,0.0,0.03032760459663977,0.040403580886537824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834599869036771,0.024107122738064216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03831243461743677,0.2187958528926484,0.0,0.057653487732799075,0.0,0.02654876832809834,0.026778903533240063,0.08356261987016478,0.0348802075088574,0.0,0.033891593192297516,0.0,0.1039602937148977,0.0,0.0,0.07692284730132007,0.04894507934731868,0.1648030549639285,0.038429033506359005,0.0,0.0,0.03910915507984435,0.03447596812134548,0.0,0.0,0.07546522643658438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034557291955830835,0.0,0.07261134042122483,0.08091439845858223,0.0,0.03612489281416436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636455609129812,0.030842114765962436,0.17176874485562502,0.02872019262084625,0.0,0.0,0.08633722332296268,0.032877848449207984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228240291466602,0.0,0.03060022359664606,0.08340955036386632,0.0,0.0,0.17893727250648542,0.0,0.1442079056217994,0.03019385707172975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021142183127192,0.07507487488931279,0.08146222595834482,0.11611186031121293,0.34722826957446545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047986561341671084,0.11570555171484673,0.0,0.17202822494776934,0.06317704991895166,0.0,0.0,0.06901908881877249,0.08025045333506424,0.0490395910313601,0.15713151741062742,0.03527922406814616,0.0,0.04344204208115672,0.031191867702071236,0.0,0.029798755909969613,0.06390489966305811,0.057333001756548034,0.20278559330755827,0.0,0.032471829726864736,0.1339163105786655,0.032588278046290095,0.0,0.041530605146897916,0.0,0.0,0.052584474322664713,0.03667665697255456,0.03680439222233964,0.07696543420456563,0.03948621378137894,0.0,0.02325695290943607
mentalhealth,JessicaCoan,2019/04/14,"I've made a video of my 10 rules to defeat sad mornings Lately, I've been struggling with some personal problems, I've been having problems getting out of bed and enjoy life.

I've been seeing a therapist and he suggested me to make a video to remind me of these important rules and help others who are struggling with the same problem.

I don't want to spam my youtube channel, I just want to have the chance to share this video with someone and maybe help someone!

​

 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJTorw3owYk&t=25s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJTorw3owYk&t=25s)",11.186774193548386,13.333423537634413,7.330268817204303,70.11540322580646,55.55913978494624,8.350537634408601,33.77956989247312,8.344100000000001,2.6664924731182795,491,17,70,5,6,133,58,93,0.215,0.628,0.157,-0.7340000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,1,1,9,0,2,5,0,7,1,0,2,0,18,13,4,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,8,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,7,0,0,4,1,6,2,13,9,2,2,0,2,1,0,7,1,0,1,1,42,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5183015180642387,0.1937527513377557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330756975816236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21375586290770024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798698395471491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262631329641935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508782087394428,0.10643606257212046,0.0,0.16019189052049854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922813975046608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4577247308480577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706333315888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702078841047979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333896267887067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185137130474396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18809892752741156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937527513377557,0.0
mentalhealth,Lostintranslation017,2019/04/14,"You can’t pray it away! I've found myself in tears multiple times today.  I can't help but think of my niece and how much she suffered behind her beautiful smile. You see today marks twelve months since she died by suicide. She was only 17 but suffered for years with depression and anxiety. I can't help but think of her and all the other people who are suffering and are either afraid to reach out for help or don't have the resources to get help.  It's about time we recognize that mental health issues ARE health issues much the same as cancer or diabetes. It isn't a sign of weakness.  It’s an illness. 

The morning of her death, the principal from her school told me that she was “simply attention seeking and her mother just didn't find her in time"".  I have since been told that she just should have pushed through and ""pulled herself up by her bootstraps.""  Just two weeks ago I was told by a distant family member that she could have prayed it away. Seriously! You can't pray away depression just like you can't pray away cancer.  This just shows how much misinformation is out there.  And every time someone makes an ill-educated comment like that, it cuts like a knife because I know how hard she struggled.  She worked like hell to get better and reached out to others in pain to try to help them as well.

There are things that we can do.  Mental illness is a real physical condition.  It isn't something to be ashamed of.  We need to demand mental health parity.  We need to educate our educators, doctors, and the general public.  We need to fund research and outreach.  The suicide rate has increased 33% in less than 20 years.  33%!!!  We need to treat this like the public health crisis that it is!  I’m so damn angry and terribly sad. Things have to change!",3.3918127319440496,5.6547321740413,3.8164316300314014,87.17796174707395,75.34218289085545,6.852069654581787,23.914834903416125,7.831003766801068,1.2407285374440955,1393,44,269,21,31,435,177,339,0.3,0.5820000000000001,0.118,-0.9983,0,0,1,0,0,2,40.0,7,4,1,2,14,24,3,3,14,0,31,12,0,4,1,53,47,22,4,6,11,1,1,5,0,1,12,0,0,0,22,21,0,0,6,1,1,3,9,16,1,1,9,2,36,8,42,35,8,26,5,6,1,0,41,12,2,2,16,181,58,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668118812144918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617585093021132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250960145436202,0.0,0.0,0.052732456000123384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650636840709375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151049170548642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906695586189085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901272515202368,0.0,0.0897782106926476,0.0,0.0,0.08854121553717162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288393208084305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154892283177864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906371932092329,0.0,0.0,0.09484792741074384,0.0,0.0,0.09039026015169664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749121081626732,0.0,0.0,0.3678017605016343,0.0,0.0,0.2899113506921792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057684307342184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475407152260001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113091096003276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057742552167497366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26152914362216473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904721810274071,0.0,0.19077270110059408,0.25656852558600435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579071465043222,0.0920470889909951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997145995740673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846127528949848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754736435178317,0.06893303797790568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431151466497688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732951429569194,0.06659553645181014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043348397027164,0.0,0.1892441807437138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149397442290018,0.1108574246467721,0.0,0.0,0.20176632111989004,0.0,0.1639926624222688,0.2479768145688997,0.0,0.05873100606340604,0.0,0.08450251232044527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938884428240527,0.0,0.0777781049339835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297644444690602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141236813879322
mentalhealth,NickFade,2019/04/14,How much do anxiety/depression meds cost on average? Sorry that this is so vague but I just sont really know where else to ask... I'm from Canada if that makes a difference... thanks everyone for any info!,1.7930769230769208,4.5284206153846185,3.7904615384615425,81.7795384615385,86.43589743589745,9.273846153846154,20.620512820512825,9.3871,2.5535189743589743,160,5,30,6,5,54,37,39,0.067,0.826,0.107,0.5512,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,7,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,7,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170775468992665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984234847921379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749399190675544,0.0,0.0,0.3335123489460405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666636637724189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050241749875025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754325395138592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213078884417277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3545765573925286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346601873425473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044976803054081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35733571733724817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938908263981887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Johnruehlz,2019/04/14,Interviewing a mental health professional I am currently enrolled in a Mental Health issues course at my university. Part of my class is to write a paper of my choosing. I am looking to interview a mental health professional about how they think mental is perceived now. Thanks!,6.844375000000002,9.5403846875,7.281666666666666,64.23000000000002,66.70833333333334,9.8,32.83333333333333,10.125756701596842,4.072233333333333,227,10,32,6,4,74,32,48,0.0,0.928,0.07200000000000001,0.4926,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,4,3,0,1,0,5,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,7,7,1,4,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,2,24,6,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.576056039950406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885479123060715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516974823517067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7281963467427819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956224516054323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16631493813982678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575092146382175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bloom_Kitty,2019/04/14,"My girlfriend today finished and posted a series of images - her interpretation of common mental illnesses, resulting in her family's outrage. Including but not limited to: her mother throwing her (my GF's) stuff on the floor and out of the window, her father shouting at her how she is ""faking"" and ""making it all up"", her searching for her mother who by then ran away without outdoor clothes or a phone, being in home clothind out in the cold for several hours, because she was too afraid to go in.

[The drawings](http://imgur.com/a/nn3TgoP).

Her father insists on how ""she doesn't have real problems"" and how he ""created a paradise for them"". Her mother sometimes is understanding, but very unstable. Due to some circumstances, she can not live anywhere else.

If you have any tips on how to make it more endurable for her or feedback on the drawings, you're welcome to share them.",10.722802893309222,8.938339924050632,9.643236889692584,66.12753164556963,57.98734177215189,12.066546112115734,42.8245931283906,10.608840637214634,4.698120072332731,700,32,111,12,7,220,103,158,0.047,0.8340000000000001,0.119,0.9193,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,2,1,5,6,1,1,8,0,8,1,0,7,1,28,13,14,0,2,8,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,4,6,0,1,2,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,2,2,20,2,27,10,3,24,0,0,0,0,30,14,0,4,6,87,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413415393222954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21295118970288365,0.0,0.0,0.13816766418309334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893423745897748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21367152298553715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288140801171062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22735489322540955,0.0,0.22321094034266634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20014179211216745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025898720490037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22841638484146404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170742192051284,0.0,0.0,0.21687960576822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579846540659268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560572659161586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241690181704504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594674006806907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21484380615610266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359573511088275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18701530323608498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184887232396954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ConsumeAsPrescribed,2019/04/14,"What is happening to me? Hey, Let me start off by giving you some basic info about myself (TL;DR at the end). I am a teenage girl who is diagnosed with anxiety (generalized and social), depression, and OCD. Anxiety and OCD were the first things to pop up in my life, starting around second grade. I would obsessively think about bad things happening to me or my family and worry about what would happen if the scenarios became a reality. I started therapy when I was 8 for my anxiety and from what my parents could tell, I was improving. In sixth grade, I started having mild thoughts of self harm and suicide, but I didn't give it much of a thought because at this time, it was the funniest shit ever to joke about self harm/suicide, so I thought it was normal and convinced myself that it was not valid or important. The mild thoughts lasted until the summer before starting 8th grade this year where things started getting worse. I started taking Lexapro for anxiety and Singulair for asthma (this becomes very important later). I thought I was actually getting better for once and continued to tell myself this, even as the thoughts escalated to making plans on how I would hurt or kill myself. In the second week of September, I was desperate for something to make me feel better even if I didn't realize it at the time. I made plans to get some weed with a friend and smoke. My parents found out I got grounded. I cracked and started cutting. I had tried it twice in the past so I wasn't scared to try it and I was cutting myself hundreds of times many times in a day. I told a friend who I knew used to struggle with self harm and she freaked the fuck out and went to the guidance counselor. I got rushed to the hospital and that started the process of 5 partial programs, 6 inpatient hospitalizations, and 1 residential stay. I am currently home schooled and going to therapy 3 times a week and my psychiatrist once every two weeks.

Now let's get to what's happening to me now.

I have been feeling really disconnected and distant from everything. I am dissociating more and more for longer periods of time (multiple times a day for up to 2 hours). I also think I might be hallucinating? It usually happens at night and I keep hearing little sounds around me that aren't corresponding with any motion from what I can tell. I also think i'm seeing things. Last night was the most real one I had. I was in my kitchen and in the hallway opening I saw this creepy shadowy, boney version of my mom out of the corner of my eye. I looked directly at it and it disappeared. My sleep is probably my own damn fault but I feel the urge to stay up later or all night even though it annoys my parents and I feel like shit if I stay up all night. I just don't feel tired until I take my (high dose of) sleep medication.

The medicines I am on currently on are, Prozac (20 Mg), Gabapentin (300 Mg), Yasmin (3 Mg), Trazodone (150 Mg). Is it possible that any of these could be causing this? I started Gabapentin very recently for anxiety but things have only gotten worse.

TL;DR: I am on Prozac, Gabapentin (started recently), Yasmin, and Trazodone. I think I am hallucinating and I am dissociating a lot more for longer amounts of time. My sleep schedule is a wreck. What might be causing the dissociation, hallucinations, and increased anxiety?

Any help is greatly appreciated, thank you. <3",4.719042386185245,6.5684855211930975,5.4391965463108365,78.75758916797491,70.55416012558871,8.675277864992152,31.264332810047087,9.22864390098145,2.8738250172684463,2675,118,490,57,50,867,283,637,0.14300000000000002,0.7709999999999999,0.086,-0.9862,5,0,2,0,0,4,87.0,0,2,0,5,21,27,8,3,30,0,49,16,6,7,3,93,108,47,2,9,12,4,5,1,2,5,8,2,2,4,36,37,1,1,19,1,0,6,6,18,0,6,32,11,74,9,79,64,14,93,0,2,4,1,25,32,4,13,53,338,110,5,0.0,0.0,0.050157710922673404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220703392824738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485862322140288,0.0,0.2359191610215492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151146950309684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04291576250472757,0.03133216675288051,0.05676581925282161,0.043736502839763186,0.0,0.0,0.09091593581693833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560123417115473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207534950291483,0.0,0.0,0.06629581095098411,0.0,0.04426961976466101,0.052168592402580885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552398687930661,0.0,0.0,0.10184505775980224,0.04649306128834161,0.0433056164415564,0.0,0.0461938318952762,0.0,0.04845411426839469,0.0,0.12994362003893026,0.03671923721187445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043719702797843936,0.0,0.0563560149330344,0.0794210068570948,0.047517264308614124,0.10741478469740093,0.0986126214303242,0.02921106224246311,0.0,0.08221646178801667,0.056667241508589365,0.0,0.0,0.22725847646724026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793006359977885,0.0,0.034451461101750784,0.05430554211870376,0.051557080802799964,0.0,0.05061736004030568,0.0,0.05502336490264721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045685520790248055,0.056865039480911386,0.0,0.0,0.0837935912866968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511729381820448,0.0363044175610812,0.025110805604748158,0.0515149942369174,0.0,0.0,0.04316195780739343,0.0,0.0,0.04369733154261921,0.0,0.04863468696279207,0.06861805462824247,0.05211020829865027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051778776715278,0.0,0.10905178357802416,0.0,0.06019752912142218,0.0,0.0,0.037783954046361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19293676963242468,0.050359807073090006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947586312214083,0.03482908521404556,0.039091022845848464,0.0,0.0,0.17121650094404828,0.0,0.04906586923740847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05794430460777793,0.0,0.0,0.055416485340074234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058502966295835374,0.03292731946884453,0.0,0.1015000189378792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05145905919625355,0.052018222300111334,0.040958104449019636,0.0,0.160860142215557,0.0,0.10552004139535588,0.0,0.0,0.15430744034918764,0.05239449566910824,0.0,0.03956922569851034,0.0,0.0,0.4001828612059625,0.16435250673918905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053733074746108334,0.0,0.11244365762255462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729084237445295,0.0,0.13477417194577765,0.047321011736287985,0.11755777189377473,0.0,0.17073504184539087,0.13173683072221867,0.050498955818516,0.2448289301324869,0.2397679341325896,0.059075237616537726,0.0,0.0491136546905301,0.0,0.06979267855602132,0.0,0.05020905544500595,0.0,0.0,0.04439196882169072,0.0566083998085499,0.08481861079403741,0.0,0.0,0.12368679584206516,0.0,0.0,0.0476471042124324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05219786863552814,0.10475932045113713,0.10953647239694114,0.0,0.0,0.03309907371704642
mentalhealth,stalecrustymemes,2019/04/14,"It's been getting harder and harder to look at myself So, for some background, I'm a, uh... ""big"" guy. Like... I haven't looked it up, but I'm pretty sure I'm obese. I know I weigh over three hundred pounds, and I know that's not good, especially for a sixteen year old... anyways, my parents, my brother, and I recently moved into a new house. For the first time, I have my own room, but my brother and I share a bathroom.

It's a nice house, and I do like it here, but... the bathroom... our old bathroom had one mirror. I could only see my face and about half of my upper body in it. Yeah, I was still disgusted by the reflection that I saw, but I could put up with it. The new one... I can see halfway down my legs. I see more of me, my disgusting body, and every fucking part of me that I hate. I turn around... a full body mirror is attached to the door. In it, I see everything reflected in the mirror above the sink. Every fold, every flabby bit of skin... everything.

It's gotten to the point where I have to close my eyes when I wash my hands and when I open the door... I don't know what's wrong with me. My boyfriend reassures me that I'm not the grotesque image that I see, but I know he's lying. He tries making me feel better, and I just feel worse. And when I feel bad... I eat... and I get fatter.... and even more disgusting. I hate who I am. I hate what I am...",0.4595238095238088,2.22879177777778,2.474900793650793,95.63875000000002,82.6111111111111,5.503174603174603,19.313492063492067,6.5431188927421005,-0.08286746031745995,1024,26,244,10,28,343,139,288,0.139,0.758,0.103,-0.939,1,0,0,0,0,0,80.0,1,0,0,2,12,17,7,0,16,1,14,13,8,1,1,40,42,21,0,2,8,3,5,2,0,0,2,0,3,1,16,18,3,0,9,0,0,2,4,9,1,5,5,14,49,8,25,35,7,32,0,0,9,1,10,18,1,1,14,160,65,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989667254657649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431695545755784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931164755390891,0.1102477634871944,0.33650951480355024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612541216630701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333127105887836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669861062323107,0.0,0.2552487141871866,0.0,0.1815148112956798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15318078649926375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858964636365809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933575643152808,0.10551936034943124,0.0,0.0,0.08470011948897964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998948354413556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991007250407541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330426660747671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219914337134624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867081715934596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16960131483186774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740723125956863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732941679338323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950608738735024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21193026893595454,0.0,0.1368579866801464,0.0768024576452694,0.0,0.0,0.11213016104986227,0.10935522623240644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954619928215537,0.0,0.0,0.10273646406942001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151625038421716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970896561355136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40235364198335744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064550671871047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951756983953844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888425674651938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856112795879424,0.10984098607857763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291075400640408,0.0,0.11040954048504192,0.0,0.06503002536606899
mentalhealth,Fickle_Fiona,2019/04/14,Why is it when my mental illness or childhood trauma are the reasoning for some of my behaviors it’s a pity party? I’m just really confused and I want to know if other people deal with this? It makes me second guess myself a lot.,0.7253900709219891,3.1908811489361746,3.2820212765957457,85.4841666666667,88.57446808510639,5.686524822695036,18.471631205673766,7.1686216300943375,0.6840950354609929,182,5,34,3,6,63,42,47,0.209,0.7070000000000001,0.084,-0.7498,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,2,0,13,7,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,5,0,4,7,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,6,2,27,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674339520083145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3926160647145898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958687598100464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30299952579974115,0.0,0.0,0.2379005454072171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35916854827797273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470836929990257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283197127308717,0.3664397565650376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102146413907516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215966171215087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,catgothetoung,2019/04/14,"I was gifted a piano, I wanted it for whole of my childhood and I cannot embrace it Hi, 

So I wanted to play piano since I was 7 years old. My aunt had this old, out of tune French piano, I played with the keys and that was it. I begged my mother to let me take piano classes, and that happened too. I was 9 years old and started to go to a class once a week. But the thing is our family was in poverty. My mother didn't work, we had a very unstable life. And I didn't own a piano. But I continued the classes for roughly 2 and a half years. It was the best thing. I loved it so much. But also it was a real pain because I felt ashamed going to the class. There were other kids with me and their families were much more wealthy. They had a piano in their homes, I didn't. My mother was having a hard time paying for the classes, I knew that. My tutor was reminding me that almost always. But when I touched the keys, all was okay. I'm not even romanticizing. But after 3 years I couldn't continue to classes. When I was 14 years old, I tried starting again, I couldn't make it. In high school I was in an even more chaotic and unstable environment. I wanted to turn back to playing, again without a piano. I had a tutor, one that was inspired by my love to the instrument. He wanted to teach me for free, I rejected. I felt so ashamed going there, I felt like a loser. It was too much to handle, my love for piano wasn't enough. So high school passed, in the first year of university I tried again. Again with no resources, I gave up after couple of months. And last May I tried again, this time I find myself a gallery that let me use their pianos for practice. After a year in March my grandmother bought me a second hand piano. Now it sits in my room. Years of yearning. And all I can think is how much time I have lost. When I sit on it, I mostly feel failure. It's overwhelming. It's tiring. I never believed that I could have it. I never believed that I could play it whenever I wanted. Now I can but all I can think is I cannot. Just wanted to share this, you know, a person to a person.",0.8953711426188491,2.898645743119272,2.8080316930775666,92.5795663052544,82.39449541284405,5.339783152627189,19.31276063386155,6.464625207383525,0.012166972477064329,1608,41,354,15,44,537,182,436,0.07200000000000001,0.845,0.083,0.6364,0,1,0,0,0,0,61.0,2,1,4,5,24,22,0,3,27,1,42,7,1,3,5,57,73,25,0,11,9,4,8,1,0,1,3,0,2,3,28,15,0,0,10,4,3,4,13,8,0,4,31,8,65,15,42,35,14,60,0,5,0,3,21,13,0,3,42,266,93,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037637006741692,0.0,0.0,0.06418994140944237,0.06678904280588571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06172080159353688,0.0,0.04893036160029127,0.0,0.0,0.18086811397281632,0.08423585561849663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817423580444534,0.08881453213099455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293784981055435,0.0,0.10603193713973484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133823018840015,0.0,0.040585691799123184,0.0,0.2312083453464701,0.0,0.07336309873046043,0.06827554837901856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685371805200156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098034118084766,0.0,0.0719039706035215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696141753441763,0.08051491065502239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044112953637873716,0.06542877729750615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641580436340538,0.05669535378648385,0.039214676980550346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08762152728097727,0.0,0.2173338293291514,0.0,0.05357922182256631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406880326706907,0.0,0.23602357905965954,0.0,0.12381458638443504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369092211044869,0.08548233531563658,0.054391378265402995,0.0,0.08541034668616691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017308050227453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136205989589624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247011877752018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639815786349414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362758894504735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06035121821610715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665240487484387,0.10286442706235624,0.0,0.0,0.14041398504841507,0.09225575623283623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348921983595646,0.08730805951146542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693254029868359,0.0,0.06622914606129293,0.2840633311406765,0.0,0.06438579765289995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896158679579853,0.0,0.07737506671269623,0.0,0.058435742099335525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4135174329648646
mentalhealth,throwawayforartstuff,2019/04/14,"Art as a Coping Method I've used art for the last year or so to help me cope with my GAD and depression. I don't show this to anyone, not anyone I know at least. I have an Instagram that is anonymous. I'd like to share these with you.

http://imgur.com/gallery/4GwFidi",1.2845822102425863,3.921786622641509,2.057196765498656,93.7990566037736,88.43396226415095,5.292722371967655,15.118598382749324,6.868970318607317,-0.37301940700808656,213,4,46,3,7,66,44,53,0.069,0.787,0.14400000000000002,0.4549,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,7,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,8,5,1,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5956203621970757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668405937156603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854823355638327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23407214627315556,0.34717816575552657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080809115979287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678544402533068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742757656005969
mentalhealth,friendlyRaven98,2019/04/14,"Just overly sensitive or ill? Hey guys,
I always been kind of a loner and all of my relationships and friendships were with other loners, like I never had a group of friends. And all of those people were / are always rather honest and not joking around a lot which makes me feel really comfortable. Well, I thought that I can handle my situation very well by choosing my friends carefully. But I kind of want to „break out“ of my anxiety, so I tried socializing with more „humorous“ individuals. But always when I open up a bit and tell more of private things to those people, I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable after. Like when a friend of theirs comes up to me with „hey u/friendlyRaven, X told me this and that“ I feel kind of betrayed because X was talking about me in my absence... And what’s really weird is that in my work environment everything is almost perfect, I’m charismatic and I can talk freely with everyone. I feel so confident and powerful in my job. It’s like I’m another person.
So if a relationship is not really transparent and „defined“ like in work environment, I feel insecure and try rather not to tell personal things... Is that kind of normal even though it’s weird? Or am I having a more serious problem?",6.6794805194805225,7.198126536796536,7.395649350649354,71.42775974025976,65.01731601731602,11.275324675324676,32.95021645021645,11.062562989136584,3.8018086580086585,974,38,175,27,14,324,124,231,0.122,0.68,0.198,0.9656,3,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,4,14,23,0,1,7,0,14,1,0,1,4,48,27,23,0,6,11,0,5,4,3,0,1,0,0,3,14,20,0,0,7,1,0,1,4,5,2,0,7,5,25,18,30,20,7,15,0,0,0,0,17,10,0,5,8,129,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706810116927226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26690590727628416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121182575780829,0.08179592584445493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518428271337434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06517936679243996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167323994427642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901528914912403,0.0,0.0,0.0921048359617962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062173971858175,0.0,0.0,0.10216966285285713,0.09609564306221227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27031781554259204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478257078959068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587074026681244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610473922046476,0.0,0.0,0.4453760754655571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089490231396228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090224825276054,0.0,0.0,0.07137204053701014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246573371079784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047619962801225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482541145298749,0.1867223607117095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102311025215235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054931454385636,0.0,0.0,0.2295909210332844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018611336990025,0.0,0.10899469794273813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17188157398548592,0.186911111865436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420699947697072,0.0,0.10505146324193083,0.08488504675491336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216966285285713,0.0,0.14518761600206148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822280609210531,0.06306605090430625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227352619044086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568266996246122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unemira,2019/04/14,"How do I focus on what matters most, studying.. instead of other things like shopping for beauty products? I have been obsessing over beauty products lately for hours and I just can't sit still to concentrate on my studies. I just want to go out to buy beauty product.",4.9788,6.997975880000002,5.333000000000002,79.09150000000002,70.2,6.6000000000000005,32.5,7.1686216300943375,2.3594000000000004,214,10,34,2,4,68,39,50,0.042,0.67,0.287,0.9169,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,8,6,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,1,10,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,4,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27629516586577024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4787683437165006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5484081358375392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23751256089213646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882469280511203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229822066326459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867489693048517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PhilipJFry92,2019/04/14,"Mental Health issue or ""Dickhead Syndrome""? I have no clue how posting in Reddit works, even though I've been in and out of this site for years, so I apologize if I'm posting in the wrong place or doing something wrong. But here we go. And I apologize if there's no cussing aloud in here. So trigger warning due to language, I guess? For some? Anyway...

I have extreme anger issues. I mean really severe. But mostly only little, insignificant things trigger it. And when it's happening (a rager) I consciously realize that I'm being a complete asshole and that what I'm angry about is completely stupid and not even worth getting even a little worked up over. But I can't stop myself from raging. I have on rare occasion, but it takes so much concentration to push it to the back of my mind and even then my mood is ruined. And I hate myself afterward because I settle almost immediately when it's done. Almost even forgetting that I was even raging or what about. I don't know if I'm just an angry person (but I don't think that's it, at least I hope), or my brain doesn't release the right chemicals or releases the wrong ones. I just wish I wasn't constantly angry. Anyway, thanks for any help I receive from y'all in advance.


If it helps, it's usually things like being interrupted or not being allowed to finish saying or doing something that gets me. I know everyone finds those types of things irritating, but this is definitely not a normal reaction.",4.0550657589354815,5.9664569110320285,5.216063747485689,79.42651864459229,72.41637010676156,8.018629119603899,26.80813863530868,8.716276077567194,2.142979142812936,1156,41,209,22,23,382,155,281,0.2,0.7140000000000001,0.085,-0.9852,1,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,1,1,0,3,24,13,5,0,9,0,19,2,1,4,0,53,37,32,0,7,22,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,21,9,0,1,7,0,1,4,10,9,0,1,4,1,27,3,24,30,4,32,0,1,0,0,9,15,0,17,12,156,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21245475595284488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214046968070739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157172206688489,0.0,0.06466756351247857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842435515478605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224532229627116,0.11463865915638408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856033003988408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204032100977233,0.0,0.0,0.10136740331684237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969584669203844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084858041232956,0.0,0.06028974113824361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168630193207027,0.0,0.0938093562223448,0.0,0.0,0.1047355690976912,0.0,0.11276188097129985,0.0,0.0,0.14221117016685955,0.0,0.0,0.10536492763359286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22144738466772845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660151847654608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051827076917534486,0.21264722532185287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555611411421543,0.0,0.0,0.10690729384012827,0.0,0.107114171088029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798363475200737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393938114975143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188497680115771,0.08068134012529643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926280870369314,0.11083475855035396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20319748387390096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795985543679063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09059479457443398,0.0,0.08436191779868529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984424578910245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333663970193005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869061993900591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976164715329494,0.0,0.0,0.09766750432763532,0.0,0.0,0.21143164306683232,0.06797407225976894,0.10422657515083944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683607197777453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199087742152552,0.0,0.0,0.1544602140681954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479572123887639,0.0,0.06831434508449788
mentalhealth,socioseme,2019/04/14,"How can i escape my thoughts and life? My own thoughts annoy me. My life annoys me. How can I escape them? I usually think About what I should do in the future, And how to solve my problems quickly in order to get rid of them fast. I can't stop thinking about smoking, even if I don't smoke. How can I escape myself?",0.6970129870129895,2.7987821212121244,2.390173160173159,94.71954545454548,83.84848484848484,4.377489177489178,20.034632034632033,5.288315135182226,-0.25566406926406904,244,7,53,1,7,80,40,66,0.126,0.7340000000000001,0.14,-0.4857,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,0,8,3,2,0,1,0,7,2,0,4,0,14,12,7,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,16,0,7,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,42,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21211781321933967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677886222852522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536781950531415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072990133543002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684973839779638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115623634749305,0.0,0.5099175003171451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537034660696629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bruhmomento2,2019/04/14,"The Sounds Of People Chewing Are So Annoying That It’s Now Effecting My Life  Every time I sit down to eat, I heard the sounds of people eating and am immediately annoyed. I want to put everyone through the fucking wall it. I’m in the car right now, and I need to play the music extremely loud to block out the sounds of my mom chewing gum. (I can still kinda hear it and I’m ready to throw her out the fucking car) Her tapping to the music also triggers me. Guys please help. This is awful for me.",0.7826470588235317,3.1424771666666693,2.76421568627451,90.3839705882353,86.15686274509804,5.3607843137254925,21.245098039215684,6.816661863887847,0.5510039215686273,389,13,81,5,12,130,65,102,0.108,0.789,0.103,-0.3729,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,4,0,8,1,4,7,0,2,0,11,12,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,5,5,4,1,1,1,0,4,0,4,0,0,1,6,11,1,15,11,0,15,0,0,0,2,7,6,2,1,4,51,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737546264048313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4446528473840259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830634398657709,0.2076154390773282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017342124241701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513627051497475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448845573767628,0.0,0.14563475816583102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534676586355497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25446968910509765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16110655501875784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012620598295312,0.0,0.0,0.2385025489884572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21842124521710046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18555154258909912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351598322433068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669471767899151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815434135500353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,manu_mathur14,2019/04/14,Deteriorating Mental Health of Teens: Should Technology be Blamed? Should technology be blamed for mental health issues in teenagers? Are we not equally responsible? Check out answers to all these questions in this post.,8.032352941176473,12.192836058823529,6.466176470588237,63.8427941176471,70.76470588235293,8.105882352941178,32.029411764705884,8.841846274778883,3.5662000000000003,182,8,24,4,4,54,27,34,0.219,0.7809999999999999,0.0,-0.8272,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,17,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6177408879759917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30328756239757376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5856678343696647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27829305666402243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32551345934525244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sorenspawn,2019/04/14,"Going to a psychiatrist soon, nervous and don't know what to expect. I'm 19 [F] and was referred to a psychiatrist by my therapist and my primary care physician for possible bipolar, GAD, bulimia, and aspergers. I have my first appointment with my psychiatrist in a few weeks and I am really fucking nervous about it. I've heard a lot of mixed things about experiences people have had with psychiatrists and I just don't know what to expect. 

I'm nervous he won't take me seriously or listen to me. What should I know and is there anything I should do in advance or bring? Thanks for any advice.",6.296541353383456,6.830234719298247,7.426340852130327,70.82605263157895,65.84210526315789,11.075689223057644,34.70676691729324,10.914260884657429,3.9769187969924817,474,21,86,13,7,161,69,114,0.059,0.87,0.071,0.3222,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,5,7,1,3,4,0,12,3,0,0,0,21,25,9,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,5,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,3,2,11,2,15,19,2,8,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,3,3,62,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486803599382264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17305891862418515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094199457886272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25946500569927694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489357256582544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21646530126922287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23526781464215946,0.0,0.0,0.1446300176821108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4195758522255397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21635453655235407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764282559431451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28689425021381504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630299767079588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134148232090756,0.0,0.0,0.2342961275199969,0.0,0.2954773686572881,0.1690689090050197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041329790428636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,apricot_princess_,2019/04/14,"How to deal with someone who’s delusional and refuses to get help So my boyfriend(22M) and I(21F) have been together for almost four years, and he has a very sick sister(25F). I’ll call her Emily. OCD, ADHD, ptsd, among other things she’s been “diagnosed” with. She’s seen many doctors & been turned away by a couple therapists. For some context, she grew up in a middle class family, has a very large support system, financially and emotionally. She had a great childhood despite the normal highs and lows we all go through. About three years ago she caught herself in a downward spiral and hasn’t been the same since. She was raped while passed out drunk at a party before the spiral and to this day she incessantly brings up her trauma (that she can’t remember)  in conversation and attributes it all the things going wrong in her life. Every day she’s sick with some different ailment than she had yesterday. She constantly talks about how abusive her parents were to her/siblings (they seriously were not abusive & the other 5 siblings Attest to this). I can only compare communicating with Emily to communicating with someone high on LSD or someone who’s mildly psychotic. Most of what she says doesn’t exactly make sense, she talks really fast and quietly but mumbles. She’s on vyvanse for her adhd and takes ambien to sleep. A lot of the times, though, she will forget to take her vyvanse and then decide at 5pm she should probably take it. She takes her ambien and stays up all night riding the high of it. Smokes weed constantly, before any kind of stressful event/work/family gathering you name it. Over analyzes everything and is politically correct to a point that most of her siblings and family members kind of ignore her. I know this hurts her, but most of us really can’t handle being around her. I hate to say this, but she’s very annoying. Any time we converse with her it turns to her monopolizing the conversation about how she’s so anxious or how her family is putting her on edge. This puts quite a strain on my bf as he loves his sister very much, as do I. But no one in their family will step up and tell her the realities of her situation. She just lost her job due to excessive absenteeism because she was getting sick all the time. This has been going on for 3 years straight and no one in the family has tried to intervene with her because she’s “so sensitive she will take it as an attack on her character and completely shut down”. I think that’s such bullshit, because Emily was a perfectly fine, functioning human being capable of reason before her spiral. It’s getting so bad that everyone in the family alienates her and I see how badly this hurts her feelings. But she’s made it quite apparent that she can’t change or get help on her own, and it’s seriously time she did. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? Quite frankly it’s starting to piss me off because it doesn’t have to be like this for her. Someone needs to give her reality check, she’s pretty delusional to how the real world works.",6.9544979716024375,7.251382508620694,7.19638945233266,73.85167342799191,64.43103448275862,10.685598377281947,32.40365111561866,10.46071229359064,3.343769776876268,2445,89,442,56,34,793,276,580,0.154,0.785,0.061,-0.9954,4,0,1,0,0,0,65.0,3,1,2,6,18,26,5,2,25,0,37,11,2,11,7,79,67,44,0,3,10,2,1,1,1,4,6,3,0,1,32,30,1,2,6,1,2,11,9,18,0,4,17,6,70,8,76,43,13,71,0,4,2,2,86,38,1,10,21,303,102,4,0.0,0.14906090926063698,0.0,0.0,0.15119575503746388,0.06146864903759889,0.05576022708799912,0.0,0.06298884761433148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631200237172092,0.0,0.12832977161178574,0.0,0.0,0.07106313908209007,0.0,0.0439836447727609,0.0,0.0,0.05599752133115124,0.0,0.07156190176923043,0.05909998280036152,0.0,0.1050437213761397,0.15338175077922786,0.0,0.16057893708963214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423158684282226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665436454942601,0.0,0.06595320542330046,0.13595284322871046,0.0,0.0,0.06960161333044819,0.0,0.08113520869136674,0.06485082750073136,0.0,0.06384580821928115,0.0,0.0657208513444529,0.0,0.06438447820058192,0.05504734557588509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075805939043224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299897802127728,0.060107065073207774,0.05653368044397551,0.0,0.4150992697290813,0.0,0.031805939406232636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145809437952852,0.060342844476762005,0.10724866008009364,0.0,0.0,0.06935141753017847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06210426094823712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432588563641548,0.19938325346784666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346791638940269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242209562818255,0.0,0.0,0.13100879459988116,0.034570161755046694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04443065787994736,0.030731511145642605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866668680119753,0.053478373114517634,0.05677293565082488,0.05952088706302872,0.04198862720281283,0.06377435564348911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04624136808588211,0.046642206520229205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05903074735724517,0.06163215138212999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525018570058036,0.04784100610673379,0.0,0.0,0.06984697995358903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059464214057194674,0.0,0.0,0.06399555373124306,0.06782069694167073,0.0,0.07353091724663419,0.1264709412554376,0.0,0.2007170965447581,0.0,0.0715980438490456,0.08059528644207185,0.06467535542788243,0.0,0.0,0.07125749229003721,0.0,0.0,0.1000469010136648,0.0,0.0,0.050126008029843336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203449028648535,0.14141251591726292,0.06294900686167773,0.0,0.2131919922394623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04452347673103558,0.0670468452528745,0.0,0.0,0.07205583681395752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138223561028346,0.0,0.0,0.2364783134872296,0.1011190275464638,0.05498050032709492,0.0,0.0,0.07303590310493259,0.08358068512833776,0.040306073263396,0.061802446644188526,0.0,0.14671833027073605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04270740080364165,0.13684206070659682,0.0,0.0,0.07566526000195195,0.0,0.0,0.2076081607259948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158910886963648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687751884839835,0.0,0.1215235268262585
mentalhealth,genesis______,2019/04/14,"Is this bad? Hi, sorry if this is the wrong subreddit

Okay so I've been making up voices for myself and i gave them names. I consider them friends of mine, i use them for my comfort and anxiety issues maybe anger. They have different outlooks on things like Connor would rather have me do something nicer than what Ash says.",2.0446774193548407,4.849249516129035,2.4679838709677417,91.17197580645157,86.09677419354837,5.680645161290323,20.65322580645161,7.1686216300943375,0.75838064516129,258,8,49,4,8,79,52,62,0.179,0.647,0.174,-0.1027,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,4,0,2,7,1,0,1,1,7,0,0,2,0,8,10,4,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,11,4,6,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,1,34,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294146413260709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25039520027856355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31332069198016715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23169387839860384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130067169757432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651085828579538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20017856527041167,0.0,0.30127930362530897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384841615317765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23086958300122776,0.0,0.3357017351206096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19923325371528064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590082355554679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21303289159096295,0.3278820831752193,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway_3141516,2019/04/14,"Am I sick or just an asshole ? First of all excuse my english as it's not my main language and sorry if it's not in the right sub  


I don't know where to start. My bf and I started a distant relationship 3 years ago and we can't say that this is a good relation, I mean, he's not the one to blame, he's trying so hard to help me and put up with me but I just can't help myself, some days I am so mad about little things that I am very mean to him, in my head I know that I am a bitch to him but I just can't stop and he can't stop me neither. After a while I calm down and I am so ashamed of what I said and what I did, I beg his forgiveness and he usually forgive me. But I know that this is breaking him and I don't want to be a burden to him.   
Last time I got so mad was because he told me he would spend time with me after work, I quit an hour earlier for him and when I came home he was playing with friends, he told me that after his game he will come with me but I was so mad I started to yell at him.  
I never physically hurted him, I never threatened him, I'm just a total POS with him  


Plus, I am very insecure about quite everything, I stress a lot for nothing (for exemple I stressed a lot about leaving my job an hour earlier because I was afraid that people would judge me and say I'm lazy even if I did a lot of overtime), I'm afraid that he cheat on me (even if he never did it and I know he will never do it), I'm very jealous even of his friends (and my own brother). I feel like a child that want to be the center of the attention and that throw a tantrum if he is not and to be honest I hate being this childish but don't know how to stop, I just don't have any control on this  


PS : I had quite hard relationship before him, my first bf cheated on me like 4 or 5 times and my bf just before him was manipulative and had the habit to  threaten me to kill himself if I didn't do what he wanted. Current bf is basically the only normal bf that I ever had. And without mentioning my childhood that was quite hard (big sister was a total bully to me and turned all my family against my parents, my brother and I).  


I wanted to see a doctor but I don't have time or money to do it, I just hope somebody can help me stop this descructive behavior (either for me or for my loved ones)",3.4203696369636987,2.95697632079208,5.18173267326733,87.8941171617162,71.93069306930694,8.15907590759076,27.13036303630363,7.554174236665415,1.206305610561056,1762,52,426,18,30,608,197,505,0.179,0.703,0.117,-0.9905,3,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,1,0,0,8,22,30,10,6,22,0,47,4,1,3,9,96,77,45,1,13,28,4,4,2,7,4,2,4,1,1,25,29,0,5,11,2,2,4,20,18,0,4,19,9,85,12,49,50,12,50,0,1,1,1,58,13,1,14,34,307,110,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914872952226647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05304761195247152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510500362154373,0.0,0.13275686593193967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921952435397157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719634746991995,0.0,0.0,0.08749177546158372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050308229481183804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984373631581741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456917907204493,0.07056203289544083,0.0,0.0,0.07010789557490996,0.0,0.07353830249468328,0.0,0.039442814637972036,0.055728402308700686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270587143608578,0.0,0.0,0.12053643152649565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654287888677337,0.06238953212022101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963754898790415,0.07701601960323015,0.0800579541109275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685986666793114,0.0,0.07824764235329698,0.0774788107042481,0.15364287595921478,0.0,0.08350838548142686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774101690797317,0.0,0.08630347572872707,0.0,0.2143537508346349,0.06358632859352767,0.0,0.08259842524482028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07622081411780751,0.07818376801239599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19895694929383706,0.0704045979817906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16994555004694578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406560323973068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07643055253473892,0.07485007007666424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571947677740264,0.05932803656137945,0.0,0.0,0.08661783097001388,0.0,0.0,0.05408041222681802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841884230041896,0.0,0.3318812935144419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750120821115969,0.0,0.06661777402848926,0.07420276797995486,0.12406900866484835,0.0,0.0,0.06216168678467575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732274130065011,0.16564182091689794,0.0,0.0,0.26087025000929465,0.17871410611314684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518245574942164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18194664307658834,0.0,0.0,0.1490785601918415,0.0,0.05296180917824185,0.08484949880258441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591397638190758,0.19309247786062286,0.184042812773879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751962151847694,0.0,0.0567902145234894,0.0,0.0,0.11082823908695988,0.0,0.0,0.0502341180320707
mentalhealth,butterprime,2019/04/14,"Can you be addicted to a person? A little background. I met a guy when I got a new job a few years back and we got close fast, then after he got fired we got closer because of that whole like adversity bonding thing that happens (right after I helped him go through detox).

Basically the idea is I fell in love with him but he’s straight and our friendship goals skewed into incompatible and he couldn’t give me what I needed to the point where I felt like I was being taken for granted.

Basically I cut him off last year because I didn’t feel respected or loved the way I need out of my friends (whether that was influenced by my affection for him I don’t think is relevant) and I felt good for a while. Angry because I felt abandoned, but I could think, and I felt like myself.

Seven months later, cut to a friend and mental health confidant of mine dies unexpectedly, and I sort of unravel. I break a nearly eight month silence and reached out to this guy. We talked briefly I told him that I was still angry with him but he was the first person I wanted to talk to after hearing my friend passed (which also angered me).

But the take away is that after we talked I felt so empty. Hollow. It was nice to talk to him and there was always a reason why I gave him so many chances, he’s very disarming, but the minute we stopped talking it felt like all the seratonin just bled out of my brain.",4.030483870967744,5.155078598566309,4.737955197132617,85.94026612903228,71.25806451612901,7.587168458781362,26.494802867383513,7.908726449838941,1.3949310394265235,1095,35,227,14,20,352,155,279,0.104,0.6970000000000001,0.199,0.9837,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,6,1,0,2,9,17,3,0,16,0,16,6,1,3,1,51,43,22,1,5,8,0,8,4,3,0,3,1,0,4,11,21,0,2,11,0,0,3,3,5,0,3,21,9,45,12,32,18,3,39,0,1,0,2,40,15,0,2,23,153,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932602497358968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286259758030662,0.07581286167092949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560315098700462,0.07005985408458862,0.0,0.16662392121531686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171163280582504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274588166401444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456034379325977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04606919501943744,0.0,0.5248934725374369,0.0,0.0,0.07750020792795738,0.0,0.0,0.21117977083696413,0.0,0.0,0.08740336937455079,0.05178130803073619,0.07642080469914961,0.29148381511808824,0.0,0.0,0.1804313108410532,0.08057044331266817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684827936665764,0.10269035896749193,0.0,0.06107075821520209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285487178035344,0.0,0.0,0.09041505299645984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426881168173832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17805177355436844,0.09131861630508413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446509634054687,0.0,0.0,0.09237372900242426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181992505780692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545018510372373,0.0,0.0,0.13511746223702145,0.0,0.08799697708025016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911176318236614,0.0,0.0,0.08613072040065739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09367877879987037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780953899077725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276252449226356,0.07617409237117202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850522729585533,0.36616370143284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06053106675857293,0.11676236478494045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706185557157292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517731768550086,0.05374048677451061,0.07232082607638947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221481926665716,0.10172380252199548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734686793984288
mentalhealth,dwightaloysius,2019/04/14,"Stress Starving Every single time i get really stressed out I am incapable of eating. I have bad acid reflux too, so you can imagine it's a rough time. I try to eat and I'll get about 2 or 3 bites in but then I almost puke. Are there certain foods I can eat? Something I can do to prevent this? Or do I just have to power through it? It'll sometimes last for weeks.",-0.7956993006992974,1.3599364230769242,1.395967365967369,97.68388111888115,95.02564102564102,3.8620046620046624,18.62937062937063,5.565023196281405,-0.3797846153846152,283,9,64,2,11,94,57,78,0.194,0.755,0.051,-0.8624,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,5,4,0,2,1,0,10,4,0,0,1,10,12,6,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,9,1,9,11,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,5,42,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129669252079185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678468052992411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6170938089720137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937155364369474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24307925346620826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21005368891416604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386154854493207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287812462682968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475824578272288,0.19881806815437444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4605450703361468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344376483635864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648223222894584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612494829260239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,raventattoo,2019/04/14,"Bipolar, or Borderline. I was diagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder about a year ago after making myself seek treatment. I basically diagnosed myself just by how I was feeling and stuff, and Psych confirmed. But she never helped me try to cope or explained how my cycling may go or anything. Problem is, I don't really go through ""cycles"". Little things set me off and suddenly I'm depressed/anger/hate myself/feel like harming myself (I don't). At the same time, good things happen and it's like euphoria, everything is amazing, etc. And it's so quickly shifting throughout the day that even the most rapidly cycling bipolar disorder doesn't fit. Looked into other disorders that may cause this rapid mood shifting and such, and it seems like Borderline Personality Disorder fits me on almost every ""symptom"". I can't really afford to see a psych again, plus closest ones that would be better than previous one is an hour and 15min away. Plus I also know not much can be done about it and the Bipolar meds made me worse/had major side effects to and don't want to go through that and have to keep going back to psych for med changes and crap. 
Tips/advice? Enjoy also welcome, or your story of being diagnosed with BPD.",5.952190265486728,7.471135137168139,6.156803097345133,76.07954092920356,67.09734513274337,8.658849557522121,32.70907079646018,9.017664075816787,3.0230716814159284,975,42,161,17,16,311,148,226,0.086,0.79,0.124,0.8679,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,2,13,12,1,0,7,0,19,9,1,6,1,44,35,24,0,3,7,0,1,3,0,3,8,0,0,1,13,17,0,1,5,0,0,4,7,3,0,2,4,3,17,8,24,25,5,26,0,0,2,0,6,10,1,9,14,116,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807365861169946,0.09803715944258293,0.0,0.11074645888592208,0.0,0.0,0.17688802570277645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101152874824056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390908967621387,0.08504191232263318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781365184404618,0.0,0.0,0.13929247015363286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361311150464455,0.11699647443895635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132561869170276,0.0,0.0,0.33675947931073114,0.0,0.0,0.5070128645856934,0.0,0.0,0.11317865842525672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334437665542715,0.07304797141990227,0.0,0.09318235469819633,0.0,0.09939703858836883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184186706660884,0.07901019006949676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25141824886956504,0.0927631302943259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978001548178909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413052929489898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891531364130276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09830328610132856,0.0,0.0,0.060780965877106685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620956485709135,0.11084678754632814,0.0,0.0,0.09287323890897536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046491199892907,0.07382404905490941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456956468328918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130118209031605,0.0,0.08529886948738859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988615514150885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965686325703529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582595211679492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170195065332844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813112316932427,0.10068293603955443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660657798155947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495215142097168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14695085336212174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448973170070457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508779071787584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06523270458050932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856460864266691,0.0,0.0,0.07122054552545054
mentalhealth,Ging3rman3,2019/04/14,"Help! Is all my suffering for nothing? I'm a 19 year old male, who lives in Texas. Most of my life, I was generally okay, till the age of 14, when I noticed my mood changes. My parent's terrible marriage has always affected me as a child but, I wasn't depressed all the time. 2 weeks after we moved to the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, is when I started to feel down. It has never ended since then. I don't know what happened that caused it so suddenly but it could been my feeling of isolation, and my parent's violently bad marriage. Or the lack of sunlight most of the year. But it has never went away. I tried to kill myself for the first time when I was 16, after my Dad and sister left me with my Mom. That's when my Mom admitted me to a clinic and started my treatment. I started taking meds for Depression, Anxiety, and Insomnia. I also took counciling. The counciling helped a bit, but my antidepressants haven't worked for me so far. My depression was so bad, I wasn't able to function in school, so my Mom pulled me out at my Junior year, and never went back. After a year, I decided to move with my Dad, who doesn't believe I have a real issue and hates Doctors and meds, and talked me into lying to my doctor and my councilor that I'm doing okay, and I don't need treatment anymore. After that, I had a relapse, then came my second suicide attempt when I was 18. My friend was there to stop me from doing it. It made him hurt and disappointed in me, and told me I was the most stupid person he knows. Which kinds hurts me to this day. After some family drama, I moved back with my Mom for a few months, then I was soon back on treatment. The antidepressants still have been doing more bad than good, but the group therapy and one-on-one therapy helped me a lot. But staying with my Mom wasn't good environment for my mental health, so I moved back with my Dad, who I'm still living with to this day. I'm not on treatment anymore once again, because I'm on my own now and I don't have a car, or health insurance and I don't know what to do for my treatment. I work for my Dad now, but it's very mentally demanding for me since I have a very hard time remembering and concentrating, so I'm very anxious most of the time I'm working. Recently I tried to change my diet, exercise, and take natural supplements to help fight it, but it will only do so much. My problems with my sexuality do play a role in it I believe. It's hard being gay in my family, since they have strict views on how ""Love"" should be (given that my family is Christian). Which makes it hard for me to date anybody in fear of being disappointing or being questioned by my family. I fear I could be in this state of suffering for a large majority of my life, if not the rest of my life. I think my next attempt will be THE one for sure. Even though I know it would hurt some friends and family, but in time, my existence or suicide, will have no bearing on anything or anyone in the future at some point. I'm writing this because I'm desperate for help of any kind. I don't want to die, I just want to be okay again, and it's became nearly unbearable. If you came this far, then thank you for reading my story.",4.143691905256746,4.743567100154086,5.3871881606765335,83.3214365571362,70.60246533127889,8.625807145160714,27.72784606012829,8.775028230273154,1.9094163543197047,2484,82,522,42,43,830,262,649,0.199,0.718,0.083,-0.9981,2,1,0,0,1,4,83.0,1,2,1,6,29,36,5,2,27,3,52,13,0,5,6,93,90,56,4,11,19,12,5,0,2,5,10,0,0,3,31,31,1,1,11,4,0,11,16,22,0,3,21,6,87,13,80,55,18,94,1,10,1,2,42,26,0,16,55,370,118,8,0.056562363966494236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452329020285862,0.047064417936628286,0.0,0.0,0.03846434710332312,0.0,0.04327005361636981,0.06389937144532888,0.11218933258834878,0.03954972002584077,0.0,0.046546006118676535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0531422028656854,0.17397186601548034,0.14168163390150434,0.06895978416218647,0.0,0.0,0.1274528298326832,0.0,0.0,0.0617514519275818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293845519839528,0.0,0.058105128613821874,0.11967096234947094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032089021160156,0.0,0.0,0.07295609094153506,0.0,0.146151243608093,0.0,0.05870280375161927,0.0,0.0,0.11578795254457146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009746587523477,0.0,0.0,0.037358907947510005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666098141306513,0.12729676947107368,0.05719926146067755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04811191789500298,0.0,0.0,0.08739988418300622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488365462382704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001791165549524,0.0,0.15200630440038054,0.055843624274531815,0.0,0.12024629584200272,0.0,0.0,0.18956280141639764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18165354143030704,0.0,0.0,0.05903641261751137,0.0,0.0,0.06257787531750178,0.11780199604005988,0.12434078400950145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06145517394883936,0.0,0.11985501125209715,0.0,0.0,0.09989120730592103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048087299155036775,0.05104974182189074,0.053520676405842765,0.0377558171615892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256560705891566,0.0,0.11400311853648384,0.0,0.0,0.3312257853128342,0.04514753928162642,0.24046736593624696,0.04157984566438395,0.04194027618204404,0.1308731461502761,0.0,0.060154715764395315,0.0,0.0,0.05427311372124331,0.06439662626867787,0.05935268616908576,0.06023707162845551,0.07665624333836324,0.04301822659425527,0.0,0.0,0.12561162296062073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938807450345973,0.0,0.0,0.05346971652006387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412254340182514,0.0,0.0,0.06336279254758377,0.0,0.05657767054547792,0.06438035327125248,0.0,0.0,0.05584851068248018,0.0,0.06407413220015365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057244132054584576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036691591727635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201053970211228,0.06028795412628578,0.09034155385645287,0.04728866897099169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374009147237308,0.0,0.05330935865033908,0.0,0.08505571685950901,0.045462685612001036,0.0,0.052075025347085316,0.1293679853091706,0.0,0.0,0.03624287894157333,0.055572235414272815,0.0,0.16490984645672335,0.0,0.0,0.05404776269684163,0.06284286756604933,0.07680426456433341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000962188696034,0.06672389549551222,0.0,0.045370916584721935,0.0,0.0,0.10486775614203164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353422386633404,0.0,0.0,0.040180280508294364,0.0,0.0,0.14569723169789905
mentalhealth,limved,2019/04/14,"Is there a name for this? My sister is sick with stage 4 cancer.  I am concerned of course but I stay level headed with this type of thing.  We're not close, never have been.  Friendly enough.  She called me and left a message and I know I should call her back especially since she's ill.  But I can't, I physically can't bring myself to call her and part of me doesn't really care.  I feel like a terrible person, there has to be a way to get over this.  Does this 'blockage' and inability to do something so simple have a name?",1.18520202020202,3.2895610555555588,2.8798316498316514,91.9028787878788,81.96296296296295,5.779124579124581,18.151515151515152,6.980632752743323,0.01826666666666732,406,9,90,5,11,134,73,108,0.22,0.746,0.033,-0.9664,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,13,4,1,0,1,16,18,7,0,1,3,1,1,1,1,1,3,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,1,15,3,11,15,2,10,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,0,3,63,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800452797324654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6294664781856686,0.0,0.2095046536657998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17982045104959105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123199224911704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389889485588978,0.14679782528461355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875644449342766,0.0,0.10735691965773067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21088588714815334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292864378138302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22325898948364648,0.0,0.0,0.10038911300503947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848194427795634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22251916990224052,0.0,0.0,0.17942072079016072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163832523500682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997850514976287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581916380021893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901862530689653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651445261872544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631036509587711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,litterboxprincess,2019/04/14,"My girlfriend has an intense 2 day episode of complete panic and feels guilty for calling off. My girlfriend has struggled with anxiety and depression her whole life. Recently it has gotten much worse due to a job that she absolutely hates. They treat her like shit at this job and its seriously negatively wearing her down. For the last 2 days, she was in an intense panic and had to go to the hospital, she called off work because obviously she was in the hospital but her work is a bunch of jerks and they don't take a doctors note unless it says ""blank was NOT ABLE to work."" They won't take a generic note. My reason for writing this, is she feels extreme guilt for calling off and keeps telling herself maybe she made a big deal out of nothing. Can I have you guys give some support in the comments and assurance that mental health is serious and calling off because of it does NOT make you crazy or irresponsible? I want to show her the thread when I get home from work so she feels less alone and relief. 
Thank you in advance!!

Also- I realize that she should probably find a new job- ive tried pushing her to try and find something else but that stresses her out even more and with this job she makes really good money and doesnt have experience in much else so she doesnt want to go from being able to pay her bills and getting paid a decent wage to struggling to pay ends meat.",4.92394057098466,6.121546132841331,5.081856671198292,84.03243348222959,69.22140221402213,8.066886774130898,30.130316566323557,8.371475516178862,2.079726199261993,1106,43,218,16,19,347,152,271,0.14800000000000002,0.753,0.1,-0.8782,5,1,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,3,3,5,6,19,3,6,14,0,20,5,2,4,2,41,41,21,0,3,6,0,3,1,2,2,3,1,1,1,11,17,0,1,7,1,6,4,7,12,0,0,7,4,33,7,36,31,7,26,0,1,0,0,38,14,1,2,9,144,44,12,0.18859684177704392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976647251247494,0.0,0.07541041311546991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213803387359112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149668842546882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851569236907559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887010019907963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162936071875355,0.09721753130629984,0.08121909173445427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965184295456255,0.08252118358539008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754846108655626,0.0,0.08352041165305021,0.0,0.0,0.062283217647280315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224195007728583,0.0,0.0,0.1430403448552831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17237409666434803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853406578092012,0.09045963788148476,0.10718393139781836,0.07909304148301631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933702622562494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310016796503896,0.0,0.1002348118115412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458900477446523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743065289872664,0.08381676923643863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686579886672433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660576340918037,0.04606944524890943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922744588515043,0.1258898563646539,0.0,0.09473543835174852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503062903033506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864037893686648,0.0,0.0,0.09107400250478792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048187808501217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22127775836575625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101669646822434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060409983070254275,0.09695448205322163,0.09310831438115448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498988915202777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679597393734747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725955314040011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080185225266948,0.1971623677898503,0.0,0.0,0.10700873053744983,0.0,0.0,0.14180135384978065,0.0,0.08242097622771427,0.08681731656174732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804487574478224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112393036557794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052808193312819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746014939824653,0.0,0.0960981470248816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,botanicomami,2019/04/14,"Neither Zoloft or Prozac have worked. I was on Zoloft and not only did it completely kill my sex drive and cause me to gain quite a bit of weight, but it really just did not work. I felt extremely unmotivated and had no emotions but my anxiety was still at an all time high. My doctor switched me to Prozac and it's a pretty similar story. I still have a sex drive, but I can't orgasm. I feel so unmotivated. I don't want to cook or clean which is extremely unlike me. Idk what else to do. What else is there to try? The only thing Prozac has helped with is my OCD. I don't unplug everything before I leave my house now. I just want something that works but doesn't turn me into a sexless, unmotivated zombie. Different dosages of each also didn't work, rather high or low. I still feel very overwhelmed by very mudane things. Things that probably shouldn't make me as angry or upset as they do. Idk. Sorry this is so long. I go back Monday and obviously I'll talk all this over this my doctor. I just feel like I'm at a loss. I have such an amazing marriage and 2 healthy kids I need to be healthy and happy for. This sucks.",1.27013100436681,3.5898804148471624,2.8225746724890866,91.14109344978165,83.27947598253273,5.934742358078602,19.203668122270734,7.24861992348623,0.3445869344978165,881,23,190,13,25,288,130,229,0.18,0.691,0.129,-0.789,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,1,7,14,9,2,2,8,0,22,12,1,2,3,37,34,20,1,5,14,0,5,1,0,1,7,0,1,1,15,10,2,0,4,1,0,3,10,6,0,0,7,5,26,3,18,25,5,19,0,3,0,3,5,8,1,4,9,125,41,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983249187882247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405818147822848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454273786478228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462336090496042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342320793832166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630589230208536,0.0,0.0,0.12891315895289626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845899606410888,0.0,0.2516938007516041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20542175810422086,0.13830480109120968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050160923174353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650514843088886,0.08783715563742119,0.11805350018077945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987663185159748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088502148550288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241234242612329,0.2598117345156916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187045914930532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602851536353947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301887445731141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006828865638893,0.0,0.0,0.10880892626536097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207162241879158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116758077889983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702154611351174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508670257169593,0.13256338685926874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307749173845657,0.0,0.0,0.07876639888294515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465469601335637,0.0,0.1376350460546749,0.0,0.0,0.2945696234742137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882441033452992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450521565598119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716944813754756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347654845476034,0.13373680786316364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028970665778543,0.14504091737656066,0.0,0.0,0.14972279140936176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3580429874267879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway59146,2019/04/14,"Need Advice: When should I request medications? PTSD, Bipolar 2, GAD, and OCD behaviors (might be related to anxiety, hopefully not actual OCD). Seeing a psychologist for over a year and currently “regulated” on Lithium Orotate supplements, 5-HTP, GABA chewable, and Vitamin D for SAD. My doctor recommended I get on medication in Feb because I have physical symptoms due to constant anxiety and at least twice weekly panic attacks. I had a panic attack at work yesterday and had to go home early which is why I think I need help. 

My psychologist (seen weekly) is not against meds but worries because there are not a lot of psychiatrists in the area who work with insurance. But we keep raising my Lithium and 5-HTP doses because I keep becoming hypomanic or depressed. 

Is it time to see my doctor about getting on actual meds? Is it going to help or hinder getting better?",7.587337662337659,8.889996954545452,8.652363636363637,60.45854545454546,63.22077922077922,11.874285714285715,40.07532467532467,11.602472056035307,5.541178701298702,697,38,100,22,10,238,102,154,0.135,0.778,0.086,-0.7909999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,3,3,8,2,2,5,0,11,8,0,0,0,24,25,11,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,1,0,4,8,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,3,3,12,2,19,19,2,21,0,2,3,0,5,9,0,5,10,69,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.2408478648040373,0.0,0.0,0.12058838943989582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880655022315046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807784005250888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256767301566809,0.13628937714055156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914029276539494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335525232299164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628718097246168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25261724969381355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19341957398114465,0.0,0.14026600975872616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654294163967753,0.0,0.12378368747755587,0.12256743592407107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21937325153763665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491317093695826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741467506936468,0.24863191690038586,0.0,0.1309115225988426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830041379551736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28957463874992706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425198899989097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19667309016903065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826339906110476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907192586104103,0.0,0.0,0.07195752398038179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797355272014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135238834372188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967831246899593,0.12532215861654902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946775366236311
mentalhealth,mordax777,2019/04/14,"I am not sure what to do about my problem with concentration Hello everyone reading this,

​

so as the title says I have some problems with concentration, but I do not think it is just that, so to really explain my situation I will have to tell a bit of my background.

So since I was really young in the kindergarten, my teachers noticed that there is something different about me, I was not playing with other kids, I hated being there, in short, I just wanted to stay at home. So I had some psychiatrists for kids come to my home to test some basic functionality and so forth. They raised that I have some kind of focusing problem and that I will have to sometimes do 1 to 1 classes with the teachers, to really learn something. But there is where my parents came in and said I wont be needing those since I was completely normal in their eye.

I had huge problems with classes which were not interested in me because I just could not focus on learning anything and I rather sit there counting the numbers in the book for 4 hours instead of learning something. I have problems with exams, for instance, I knew I was really good at a subject and I could tell my friends more the subject then they could tell me, but yet I failed in the exam just because I was so afraid when I was taking it and sometimes I answered just a random answer and when I checked my exam again I didn't even remember reading the question, so I guess I didn't focus enough.

So somehow I still managed to get trough with the lowest grade(I still believe to this day this was just goodwill from the teacher that they let me pass). 

And let us skip some years till the present day.

I want to join a college/university but I am just so afraid that I will just fail some classes which are not interesting to me, that when I will have to learn for a subject that I will rather clean my flat 10x times in a row, that my mind will be somewhere completely elsewhere. Why you ask? Because I already see happening it right now in the tasks I have to do and don't want to do. I just cannot focus on one thing if it is boring for me. And this with the combination that I will be super excited about the exams,  I am just so afraid, that sometimes I just can't hold my feelings inside me. 

And, did I mention I am dyslexic, I am not sure if its because I cannot focus on reading but if I read something I make so many mistakes while doing so or even remembering it takes a long time.

Of course, all my parents say is just do it, don't be lazy and do it.

​

I am just really scared right now and don't know what to do about it.",5.5344236972704675,5.626828155769236,5.9288585607940485,82.43227047146404,67.44230769230771,8.478908188585608,32.351116625310176,8.049812674583475,2.2024143920595534,2051,81,414,23,31,660,210,520,0.108,0.83,0.062,-0.9735,4,0,4,0,0,0,49.0,1,1,4,3,49,24,1,4,21,0,65,1,1,1,3,97,86,41,0,19,31,2,1,0,1,8,0,3,3,2,31,23,0,1,14,6,1,3,16,14,0,1,16,6,72,10,55,52,10,45,0,2,2,0,22,19,0,14,21,330,103,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148515589399889,0.0,0.0,0.16001294586321535,0.1794493017873901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607646844639034,0.0,0.0690311776206866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005065846595947,0.0,0.0,0.0831932923425093,0.0,0.0,0.08061502595948394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844542006006158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360730848931813,0.15484134199900046,0.0,0.0,0.17686760428639592,0.0,0.0,0.0952424110132925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714791687665823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07629728241193026,0.0,0.09754230030213408,0.0,0.0,0.07055804611635047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037336125739387147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704921675794555,0.0,0.03857876887808971,0.0,0.0,0.06193415735067124,0.0,0.0,0.08134396301691664,0.0,0.06529717311385046,0.0,0.0,0.07290249994190448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813668043358974,0.0,0.07271831116042844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689382737093757,0.04058097104544095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510144360379055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534678190049993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928930552390064,0.07486297860415057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455815554158593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054752015501246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07234830338453163,0.0,0.0840682370422759,0.0,0.0,0.05003643520743259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639829336751255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35327835258417783,0.0,0.0,0.08271859214062194,0.0,0.2954431183318376,0.0,0.2365215274865815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16729445768188167,0.12611927472393164,0.07023950752345719,0.11744233139519322,0.07392751964299152,0.0,0.058841555179754326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221637410112424,0.08300014987728037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273850129228604,0.21909130964846266,0.0,0.0,0.07870446500001878,0.11793871207917465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391881550095503,0.0,0.11103817980948884,0.0,0.19362033429120254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04905654458871666,0.047314201294372436,0.0,0.0,0.08611432533553301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888213872715455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065964603868838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662983428483582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794493017873901,0.04755105244053745
mentalhealth,hmmmm22878,2019/04/14,"There is something very wrong I'm not a bad person. I swear. I've just been hurt a lot. Severely bullied when growing up. Human beings still treat me like shit to this day. And when people hurt me I have to hurt them back. I want to. I want them to feel the pain they've given me.

I can't move on from things. I hold everything inside.

Right now I have the power to do something very evil to someone who hurt me. Nothing drastic. I could send them a few nasty text messages. Make them paranoid, make them sad, make them feel the pain I feel. I already sent one anonymously that wasn't too bad.

I also sent a really horrible one, from an anonymous number through an app, to someone else that hurt me, and I think they tried to call me. 

There's something wrong.

I'm not a psychopath. I have emotions. Too many emotions that I can't control.

I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. 

I'm not evil and doing bad things makes me feel awful.

I could walk away, tell them it was a wrong number.

But there's a side of me that wants to be bad. That wants to be evil. That wants to be mean.

What should I do?",0.5354455294476672,2.9593716504424776,1.807717424473605,95.98252212389382,89.13274336283186,4.710161733292646,19.297528227036928,6.311591054244273,-0.029470979554470755,867,26,188,9,29,275,114,226,0.29600000000000004,0.609,0.095,-0.9958,1,0,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,8,2,12,21,4,0,12,1,20,4,1,5,0,30,41,7,0,8,5,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,0,3,12,4,0,2,6,0,0,6,6,19,0,2,7,4,32,2,19,27,2,17,0,6,0,0,18,5,1,1,7,118,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10009399799893502,0.07253586798202348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521929034982477,0.06974569251553936,0.3029358374474717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261881288999244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173212523032296,0.14483935088372532,0.0,0.0,0.05849650523943058,0.0,0.0,0.09206253894586357,0.0,0.0,0.10395451604104301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577146114189005,0.20405933545369848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151880762086937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18345044832006904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4855019505981357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044313338974328334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711320359055103,0.0,0.0,0.2421822033400097,0.09195950781938704,0.0,0.09880312685678268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964038804016668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703282865577612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292660646171626,0.0,0.19303066790509096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288265657132375,0.1583982760958071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058107234475305164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774606263763315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246957775036054,0.0931062395316659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537062231327857,0.20948485750671056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243624364053819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927919770773059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051926812989745,0.058119390184892615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061581987281891626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968041689339895,0.26749752159667484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975113940089673,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ibadlyneedhelp,2019/04/14,"I don't know what to do- daily anxiety/panic/mental pain Hi,  
I recently had a secret workplace affair with a coworker.  
It ended well, and we agreed tos tay friends. After that, we had a series of miscommunications, and she ended up blanking me daily at work. My mental health started to erode rapidly- I woke up constantly with sweaty palms, just being at work made me feel miserable to the point of tears. I couldn't really talk to anyone and started coming apart at the seams. Every day was worse than the day before.  


A week ago her, myself, and a mutual friend went to the same gig. Mutual friend is the only person in the workplace who knew about our secret affair. I'd tried to find solace with mutual friend (MF), but she wasn't very sympathetic- I was too whingy and was taking things too hard, I gave a biased, truncated version of events- I didn't know how to process my feelings, they were overwhelming me.  


I ended up doing some cocaine that night, because I wanted to be self-destructive and I was so unhappy. I got mega-drunk, did a bunch of lines, and then made a complete heel turn. I had a massive attack of fear, anxiety, paranoia, and drunkenness- I picked a fight with MF, got right up in her face and screamed at her to go fuck herself. I then texted a bunch of slanderous shit about my now-ex and MF to another mutual friend in confidence.  


I woke up feeling incredibly guilty, and begged mutual friend #2 (the one I'd texted) not to say anything. He of course told MF, who told my ex. All of them justifiably hate me- I hate myself. There is no redemption or forgiveness for me in this story. I am the villain, and what I did was completely out of character for me, and I've never been like it before or since. I know I won't commit suicide, but I think about it daily. Every day I see or think about her, my heart physically hurts for hours at a time. I cannot live with the consequences of my actions- I can go into greater detail, but I was just worn down by a series of horrible circumstances and  having daily anxiety attacks to the point that i became someone that I wasn't.  


I hate myself. I want to die, daily. I am unable to find joy in anything. I have gotten over worse traumas- sure, it's really bad, but I've hauled myself through some shit. What's making it unsustainable is the guilt, of shouldering that blame. I cannot excuse myself or give myself a break. I always thought of myself as a good person- someone who'd battled their demons in a way few others have (I had a difficult upbringing and I'm a high-functioning autistic who was never diagnosed until adulthood- I had some seriously problematic behaviors in the past that I conquered). I'm empathetic, I feel for others, and I try to do the right thing. I put myself out there to support people.  


Literally the week before the fateful disaster week (culminating in the gig), I'd lent MF a small amount of money to pay for her electricity cause she was stuck. But I can't see any good in myself. I can't find solace or comfort in the presence of my friends. I cannot know peace, or happiness. All I feel is guilt, shame, anxiety, and pain.  


I don't know how to work through this anymore. I don't know what to do. I can't even stay in my workplace where I've been for two years, because we have a small team (15), and my ex will be my manager in a few months. She's not petty enough to destroy me the way I deserve, but I won't be able to live with it.",3.5608404139433567,5.187438248529414,4.904052287581703,82.33175381263621,73.13235294117648,8.095860566448803,25.97494553376907,8.735056554316923,1.9068197167756,2699,91,528,52,54,898,301,680,0.232,0.667,0.101,-0.9985,1,0,1,0,1,3,105.0,4,0,3,5,16,43,12,6,39,0,54,12,7,7,6,88,102,37,2,3,16,2,6,1,7,3,4,2,0,2,26,31,0,0,21,1,2,6,20,26,1,2,36,10,91,17,86,57,14,72,1,3,2,1,48,35,3,9,28,358,117,6,0.06755038818785096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059879343371332175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056207334321064895,0.0,0.0,0.04593658036925149,0.0708324718418084,0.1550275862104885,0.0,0.06699183375157465,0.04723280204570194,0.0,0.11117642762502683,0.0,0.0,0.15369663690869506,0.0,0.0,0.056401752555255966,0.08235617931855746,0.0,0.17244121508004184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939285627972927,0.0,0.058188678103695726,0.14165059363008878,0.07299797191601577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069323623093707,0.0,0.0,0.06856222208616802,0.07010663810809059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948878175093747,0.06979760835502329,0.0,0.04461639431519159,0.0,0.11382823094523475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601296683713703,0.17077752964921886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185219493075692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653248364356551,0.062449245387214476,0.0,0.06480048760785248,0.07678088461292475,0.11331612141101878,0.1080524325584463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190864432033173,0.060511879567886236,0.20007607000632188,0.0,0.07180290384512636,0.0,0.08004753524504171,0.0,0.07137069389413157,0.0,0.0,0.0665235253755337,0.0,0.07231408766545379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22274356051664526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03300170756668072,0.0,0.11929646070070868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783562120680278,0.04509040865275121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807490327249116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391807538324743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041980474396173,0.0,0.0,0.06339146332550709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577389125387491,0.051375114153931735,0.1437567513767209,0.0792558259942385,0.0,0.0,0.06448448901104817,0.04683093378237799,0.11796478685139325,0.0,0.0,0.12771390210509012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790679767120075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654901679936589,0.0,0.06669785899595072,0.0,0.0,0.11537532484674855,0.0,0.05371877996103303,0.0,0.0,0.10765782721495183,0.0,0.0704697870721795,0.0,0.13867900549933404,0.05587837915544097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447044940454194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562502487860168,0.07199972594310874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388916080585327,0.07665538000725665,0.06366544144104258,0.0,0.0507894851677279,0.05429444326216763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897549526854074,0.08656712237129326,0.0,0.05362746276957258,0.03938917457816785,0.0,0.0,0.1290945814435623,0.0,0.09172455891122988,0.07347542476611016,0.06598691380423208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05573614470392863,0.07968593824680648,0.1072367078635134,0.16255454048307155,0.0,0.0607359114563689,0.06261988660851747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753246136598772,0.0,0.13767923310906835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04350023526650326
mentalhealth,wrath-godess,2019/04/14,ECT ( electroconvulsive therapy) has been used on kids in the past. Thoughts on this or just ECT in general? I posted this on this thread a while ago but I hope this reaches more people to discuss. Some people don’t even know that it’s still around.  I hope with this post To raise awareness about this especially when children are getting it. On top of that I really want to hear all your thoughts on this topic! Thanks for even reading this,3.5010714285714286,5.9507372023809575,3.5359523809523807,88.4132142857143,75.78571428571429,6.5809523809523816,24.785714285714285,7.6454224807358475,1.1991714285714297,351,12,69,5,8,107,60,84,0.0,0.804,0.196,0.946,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,7,3,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,1,15,14,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,12,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,5,3,15,11,3,16,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,4,5,49,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310705881758202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18388629256907585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27286794671203696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792148040220312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328133223408375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4103305222454088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352250470258628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19718928861569154,0.28641177620787256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956635834595679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20662050418049796,0.0,0.13233057526539813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496276027541262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017693532960367,0.2362246279467273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279784455447796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840549628998068,0.0,0.0,0.12183715585363125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,krispycummies,2019/04/14,"I have been stuck with these horrible thoughts in my head and can’t get rid of them So this has been happening for quite a while now, i suddenly get this urges to do horrible shit to people when im talking to them like gauging their eyes out or throwing them to the ground and rape them. These urges are happening more frequently these last weeks and i do not know if it is normal to have such fucked up ideas to pop in your head. Am i a psychopath?",5.995652173913044,5.3436585652173925,5.6946956521739125,87.00682608695654,66.6086956521739,9.968695652173913,30.35652173913044,9.3871,2.1707191304347817,356,11,80,6,5,110,65,92,0.214,0.7609999999999999,0.025,-0.9648,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,5,1,4,4,3,0,3,0,11,6,4,0,0,12,19,8,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,1,11,1,13,15,1,13,0,0,1,2,7,5,2,2,8,56,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21505959776194047,0.2430756560465615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41142197260860414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774841298812101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26260718261199234,0.25127671066969137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784552808111174,0.1896217753625876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364963516757905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279247345168457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127403493199385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474270864423135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387879225424457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697649677382436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18467958260675707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18659907403686976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Miningman664,2019/04/14,"Here it goes, my brain and life has been ruining my life and I can't find happiness Hello all, longtime lurker attempting to reach out for some advice.

​

I'm 23 years old and live in a small town in Northwest Oklahoma I own an oil and gas company and make pretty decent money. It hasn't always been like this though, I used to barely make 25K a year, I'm projected to make upwards of 200k in my first year of bussiness.  But the cliche saying ""money doesn't buy happiness"" is actually true.

​

From a young age I have had life beat me down over and over again to only let me get back up and stand up tall and then it takes me back to my knees. It's been a repetative cycle, lost my father to brain cancer when I was 10 years old, the year prior my mom and dad had my little sister. I've helped practically raise her with my mom since then. After my father passed my grandfather took over as my father figure in life and when i was 15 he died of kidney cancer. I started to get into a habit of drinking often and having sex with as many women as possible and being incredibly controlling. I got married when I was 18 to my highschool sweetheart and a year later we got divorced because I was unable to be the man that she needed at the time. So I developed a lot of trust issues and became more and more controlling to have a sense of stability and know that I won't lose another person. But alas, this is an incredibly bad habit. I obviously have depression and anxiety from all of these experiences and this year I finally decided to go to a doctor again to get on anxiety medication and he wanted to put me on anti-depressants but I refused because 2 years prior I got put on zoloft for a bit and that didn't work and then lexapro. They messed my memory up to where I couldn't tell you what I had for dinner last night. 

​

I got put on boostbar or buspar, not sure of the spelling but it seems to be working. I still find myself wanting to be in control of every aspect of life and I don't know how to stop it and it is really impacting my current relationship. We've been together 3 years now and in the beginning things were fantastic but as time went on I showed more and more of my true self and it makes life worse and worse. We've been having serious problems lately because she doesn't like to have sex as often as we used to. Probably because of the way I am but it's a primal need that isn't being met. She has been incredibly supportive of me no matter what I want to do. I have tried to do the same for her but I'm a worse case scenario about everything type of person and I make up stories in my head and then convince myself that they're true. It's been 6 weeks since we've last had sex and the past 3 nights we've had serious talks/arguments about it. She claims to have no sex drive but last night I went to bed earlier than her because I had  to get up early. I went out to the kitchen to get something to drink, she didn't hear me and she's masturbating on the couch. I got irate and completely lost control of my emotions. 

​

We had a talk I didn't get any sleep last night and now i'm at work typing this out.

​

I'm tired of being unhappy, she's a great chick. I know I'm messed up in the head but I don't know how to fix it, I haven't been truly happy since I lost my father. I don't know if I will ever have it again without drugs, after my previous experience with anti depressants I don't want to go that route again. It put me into an incredibly dark place that I refuse to go back to. But it seems as if doctors just trail and error with those pills. I got so depressed and suicidal which i had never been before and I don't want to go back to that place.

​

I don't have time to go to a therapist, I'm trying to make time but can't seem to find one that will meet me with my work schedule. 

​

​

Thank you in advance, I hope I don't get bashed here and I get some actual advice and answers about what to do. But if i do i accept it because i'm just throwing my problems into the internet and hoping for the best.",3.0975183473770045,4.40068415547703,4.570195524146055,85.56057733079642,73.75853945818609,7.721670743861557,24.72231584669747,8.287632752037746,1.4101613155748842,3244,99,680,53,65,1084,329,849,0.141,0.789,0.07,-0.9955,2,0,4,0,1,0,85.0,3,2,1,17,30,34,0,0,32,0,70,30,7,14,9,133,136,74,2,15,20,8,0,2,1,3,15,2,3,6,36,53,4,7,15,3,3,17,24,15,0,2,39,3,95,19,114,86,13,120,0,8,0,4,45,40,0,14,63,451,131,10,0.0,0.0,0.07468902105896194,0.0,0.0,0.07479102017923894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03184243616140447,0.3317110064943793,0.3720030788102177,0.02602387474071913,0.04012783189278511,0.058550556041510125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770437796420795,0.03195257748523028,0.1399686400782862,0.0,0.03256365294142405,0.0,0.04016040270002028,0.0,0.04177926238301053,0.0,0.0,0.08544054671223672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040123767114861576,0.0,0.17168539141745834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184232302676105,0.0,0.03971663441101731,0.0,0.0,0.07833880984408881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749770715195574,0.04437928064035287,0.0,0.0,0.04304688268385868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03461602582914952,0.032242840022755334,0.0,0.03439323704922913,0.07486782183227034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041921242942405575,0.10493007639218496,0.0325511446085913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15994958638914755,0.0,0.10874427893776416,0.0,0.1836407682762495,0.04219112790965785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222125071691136,0.0,0.0,0.07854898997706719,0.0,0.04313135169606611,0.0,0.025650551594226585,0.0,0.0,0.07601845929026031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039942344607398615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515676307770083,0.12477565640638233,0.04316850575969115,0.0,0.0,0.03913210764219671,0.16218093038176568,0.03739208696170241,0.03835506464145821,0.033791763833213605,0.0,0.0,0.0428126339378443,0.1253236805736976,0.032534488274780816,0.0,0.0,0.15326702214505605,0.03879822636847456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03855146171300354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963914894718512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056751177448603286,0.029515006482842113,0.0,0.0,0.14364948265222974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031265245399452,0.0,0.02593170851662918,0.029104899075748317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03653158879597596,0.0,0.06682911118240714,0.07996482102759653,0.0,0.0,0.04314195472127178,0.0,0.03893279603043912,0.04125988770659245,0.07323552308608129,0.0,0.15388154559468192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02451576449546449,0.0,0.0,0.041086019718586456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030432626671225493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451454495625118,0.039922364639033966,0.0,0.0,0.09496823195152228,0.0,0.03829611123855192,0.0,0.0,0.029460941070846368,0.0,0.0,0.02708662300845349,0.0,0.030561252932837943,0.03199415798351348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041859499554640266,0.04342661102493333,0.036067584048622515,0.0,0.02877313003114385,0.030758749981257164,0.03344833320570596,0.03523246951552287,0.0,0.044432648093410326,0.025423873819825155,0.0,0.037598581605921666,0.0,0.08925862022143037,0.04398398157769828,0.0,0.0,0.042517682920586414,0.05196356395199503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661033494786791,0.0,0.0,0.11285868793792855,0.030375733572401274,0.030696661687789614,0.0,0.0,0.10642577694805327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036889443519114495,0.0,0.11143961998379837,0.0,0.11699653374373654,0.0,0.0,0.3720030788102177,0.22179278435635236
mentalhealth,pobrien1971,2019/04/14,"Mental Health Musings | Raising Awareness One Post At A Time People need to talk honestly about their Mental Health problems.

But that can only happen if people actually want to listen.

The willingness to listen comes before the talk.

\#TimeToTalk #MentalHealthMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #KeepTalkingMH #Anxiety

[https://wp.me/P7WiZQ-u](https://wp.me/P7WiZQ-u)",14.144637681159415,19.965068391304353,8.947826086956521,44.56637681159421,60.7391304347826,10.023188405797102,35.92753623188405,9.725611199111238,5.7314318840579705,310,13,24,8,6,84,38,46,0.055,0.815,0.13,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,7,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,1,5,7,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,14,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.21303932327938066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700675226239375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576595295496054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18805495949628512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19305104298210024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4641071979757961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4400107922990872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187429246681476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793268289055853,0.16603479106567018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026976945557716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20908088368189512,0.0,0.0,0.2088934365059284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509390369839592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272984688995538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876504826868465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wtafneo,2019/04/14,"Overwhelming thoughts of “what happens when we die” as I’m trying to go to sleep. I’m a pretty normal 24m I would say. Never had any mental health issues, I’m happy and healthy! 

Recently (last few weeks) I have been having overwhelming thoughts of what happens after we die. 
I should mention that I’m not particularly afraid of death, no more than anyone else. I understand it happens to all of us any I usually have a pretty (non religious) view of what happens next (we die, we are no longer conscious in any way and reduce to soil) 

I have been lying in bed falling asleep and all of a sudden have these thoughts that, upon death, I will be stuck for eternity. 
I have thoughts about the fact the universe is infinite and even though we die, we are just stuck in this “snow globe” type thing. 

It sounds totally strange but it is really quite overwhelming. I get hot and sweaty and have to stand up and walk around to calm my mind. 

What I don’t understand is that I know what I’m imagining is quite rediculous and not reasonable- yet why do I get so inexplicably affected by it? It genuinely freaks me out.

Would love some insight into how our brains tackle the big question around death, more so, how I can stop my mind from going into overdrive - especially on this topic! 
Cheers",4.076951219512196,5.958479581300818,4.604560975609758,83.95781707317074,72.29268292682926,8.009430894308943,26.934146341463407,8.697196308434329,1.9820478048780488,1011,36,195,19,20,321,144,246,0.153,0.7659999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9072,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,8,0,0,2,12,9,0,4,6,0,24,5,3,4,5,51,47,16,7,4,4,0,1,0,0,4,1,2,1,0,17,19,0,1,12,0,0,4,6,5,0,1,9,4,24,4,30,33,7,31,0,3,1,1,12,12,0,2,13,132,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21037383332015852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721033618155997,0.10565783508887017,0.0,0.18359595082112226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11511516195484765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280859126919361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614288297173066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810927751233133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10775108101667012,0.0,0.11721006724121084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647519708357487,0.10977233563406504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961091722541527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762968275057888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056671630873838426,0.08405593390933902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306912925734397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391992786007148,0.0,0.20824204845939395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953190568440363,0.0,0.10966846877400993,0.0,0.1010349490938876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209818653688796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551713523433707,0.21935998421707434,0.0,0.0,0.06606081793571003,0.10602374080324303,0.10181779719224822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200454895890326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031936994109938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621229192939278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850783298814328,0.0,0.10131411788399414,0.32746059381238474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001118684588524,0.0,0.0,0.21470150595634246,0.12403973447354905,0.0,0.11357126099872365,0.0,0.0,0.08185124333207199,0.08271602459577852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930490640440073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650588178368512,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,grandtheftsu,2019/04/14,"Is it common to suffer from anxiety after drinking? Currently hungover, physically feeling fine but am suffering from crippling anxiety. I'm weaning from my medication after being on it for 3 years and will be off medication in a few weeks. Aside from this I'm the best I have been in my whole life. But right now I feel like I could die.",4.634615384615387,6.347247846153848,6.181538461538462,73.89846153846156,70.53846153846153,9.507692307692308,31.461538461538463,9.888512548439397,3.3621384615384606,270,12,48,7,5,92,50,65,0.2,0.6459999999999999,0.154,-0.5346,1,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,0,8,4,0,0,0,6,12,3,1,1,2,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,3,12,7,3,12,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,8,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888656757232536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26672679457031123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20292726186253626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26377949112463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489814918199316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570233637330482,0.18157301333994333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952177100196806,0.12417046178653204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5120819074209294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21705251669243894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20387300986872994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283762217734523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636716612299758
mentalhealth,thewaytobe,2019/04/14,"Being gay has destroyed my life. Its only going to get worse. It will continue to get worse until I die. This is the cherry on top of my already worthless, miserable life, making me an even more worthless human being for not fulfilling my biological role. For being a product of a genetic or mental mutation. And hating it and not being able to do anything about it. 

I have known I was gay since forever, but pretended to be attracted to men (I'm a female) for a while and I still do. I'm never ever telling a soul. I'm never going to mention it to anyone. No one will ever know, and that's how I want to keep it. I have tried being attracted to men but I feel nothing for them. I respect them and love them, but don't get turned on or romantically attracted to them. 

I have always wanted a family. Our own family. Not adopted, not a sperm donor, not spending thousands of dollars. Just me and them. But that is never, ever going to happen. It's impossible. If I enter a lesbian relationship, have kids, they will never be ours. They will always have a father or a set of parents out there. They will long for a father. They will never just be ours and only ours. I do not want to have kids in a gay relationship, no matter how much I want them. I will never put my own selfish needs/urges first.

And partner who I love and that loves me. Good luck finding one with the molecule of a dating pool. I'm still a virgin, but I probably couldn't even get a fuck because every woman on this earth loves dick. I don't fit in the LGBT community, nor do I even want to. I don't look lesbian. I look normal, which is rare for a lesbian. I will never have a girlfriend, ever. Add that on top of other loneliness issues. 

Every single day I am reminded that my strict attractions to women are fucked up. Everyday. Through media, music, etc. I'm always the odd one out. Im always reminded when girls I'm friends with talk and talk about men and I'm sitting in the corner on my phone. I want to be heterosexual more than anything. 

The most basic things that everyone else gets because they're straight. This has all been ripped away from me. I have no future or happiness anymore. I have no reason to live, for nothing. Among my other issues, this one is the one that will never change. 

No one understands. No one. I have no one to talk to that will just listen and tell me that I'm not wrong. I'm alone in this and will always be. 

I'm tired of fighting an internal, never ending battle with myself. It has completely destroyed my life and I cannot keep on fighting anymore. I just can't. There is no future, no happiness, no love for me. Just loneliness, fear and self hatred. Suicide is my inevitable way out. 

And I deserve it.",1.4917344423906336,3.9046452883548985,3.5653170055452854,85.56071734442392,83.17744916820702,6.046592729513247,21.770825631546522,7.365786028017652,1.0010155021565006,2115,69,408,33,60,717,222,541,0.174,0.6729999999999999,0.153,-0.8935,1,1,0,0,4,1,80.0,4,0,10,3,21,29,8,2,26,0,54,19,1,4,14,81,97,32,2,9,22,3,1,0,3,11,4,1,0,11,28,23,0,2,6,2,2,5,33,14,0,10,2,4,58,15,58,73,9,56,1,3,2,15,49,21,3,7,27,316,86,1,0.06251295259815366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06474456597160587,0.06898459767510287,0.0,0.2600789218494267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399210249183347,0.043710509955174184,0.0,0.10288566707904316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05873297676652889,0.0,0.0,0.07621463135917197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613041492713609,0.0,0.06554364144046956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040315682858272896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487857527449697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222155040888257,0.0,0.055367921174605005,0.0,0.06971846669968013,0.12386764685214917,0.22618617823643364,0.10533971745096388,0.059733805141265764,0.0,0.0,0.11786329639846532,0.07034445130826933,0.03160842713768878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571357061570877,0.053173485545232865,0.0,0.0,0.04829735210724986,0.11558443471339,0.16330218802783186,0.0,0.10658265471926603,0.052432898732384055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527999753035092,0.13309240092872954,0.0,0.06171859859412592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752471608253012,0.13049456227500286,0.0,0.11112876913181996,0.0,0.0,0.03435548389299841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324642414431589,0.0,0.0,0.055200082434553335,0.055321995881469216,0.10499027178604556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821019019422744,0.0,0.041727881280299854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299835301557165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04595421299215693,0.0,0.4339245856048257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124942078960621,0.11996572800316682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3388831562275062,0.0950878347848512,0.0,0.0,0.06941323595108154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739953599006085,0.0,0.0,0.06284278355450908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427372678845485,0.0,0.13423103254198931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521464312824532,0.0,0.0,0.051711360380220325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984584939231668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06837902387960516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073663004951307,0.10927815188141296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0415308279729584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184944298475601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042442191356167,0.06799614138056334,0.0,0.0650781882923606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212305545828644,0.0496198720339814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12741207865694062,0.0,0.06834810021837669,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deanodorito,2019/04/14,"Dealing with reasonless relationship anxiety Okay so I’ve gotten into a new relationship (20/m w21/f). For starters is awesome, every time we are together we have a ball and she’s really loving and affectionate. 


We work together and she keeps it super professional I struggle sometimes and I feel anxious. I’m not sure why, but I get really anxious at work around her and when I’m away from her even though I could list all the reasons why I don’t need to be. I become just awkward and I can’t talk to her or anyone. Does anyone have any advice?",1.651068376068373,4.2660542777777835,3.929629629629627,81.68602564102565,84.92592592592592,7.026780626780628,24.04843304843305,8.139509932561175,1.8947868945868944,434,17,81,10,13,149,77,108,0.102,0.7879999999999999,0.11,0.4112,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,3,0,0,3,6,7,0,2,3,1,8,1,0,1,2,23,16,11,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,12,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,1,15,5,9,13,1,8,0,0,0,1,13,4,0,1,4,51,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112123723571695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212573075867503,0.0,0.1261346349821015,0.3725405086992112,0.0,0.2305793074966963,0.0,0.0,0.14678035161452402,0.0,0.0,0.1549125041544235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820997292439656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164523227894515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699865822052895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428975688571813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890331357265473,0.0,0.1389205887019496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336952883805604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614428307234946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465551114346017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488128627647152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225825912240855,0.0,0.15924451285199073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211255859209963,0.16952663590875644,0.0,0.35404412531264257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630729746430371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17237095300488814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553997726489202,0.0,0.0,0.13252628031887528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199618542804087,0.0,0.09614429171820524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975615589929549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24007279758769606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Inrinus,2019/04/14,"I experience long periods of non-motivation and then long periods of motivation, in cycles of 15-20 hours, I want to change this.. I've noticed this recently, I can be motivated for about 12-24 hours, constant working, can do anything, but then I basically get burnt out and just need to lie down for a day or two, my head becomes foggy, I can't think clearly, and then WAM, just like that, I go back to a switched on state... I've just realised this is what's been happening.... Can anyone relate or explain....?",9.689848484848486,6.404369474747478,10.03421717171717,67.2046590909091,61.32323232323232,13.53636363636364,42.93181818181819,11.698219412168324,4.804109090909092,394,18,78,9,4,134,70,99,0.032,0.878,0.09,0.4961,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,2,0,8,1,1,2,1,17,15,9,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,7,1,13,13,0,19,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,14,49,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121292146755494,0.0,0.17796226024490402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628938268194213,0.0,0.0,0.23884044371870025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287727425108693,0.0,0.0,0.23369853399649676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946879577041474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115422398139792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298610315485172,0.0,0.12290464859516093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19123661411994325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22194353820124632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4259419802628813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565294453094612,0.0,0.0,0.3827638079368944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035288453367935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24621165420080784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21352910853457427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385696688514984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112530610678356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755482419319286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15743871157495182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jreitz22,2019/04/14,"Name of problem? Yesterday I realized that I let my issues get the best of me and I'm about to fail out of school. At the same time my girlfriend and I got heated and ended things. However, for the last two nights I couldn't help but go to sleep smiling and feeling like everything was alright, even though I lost my relationship and am about to lose my school. Even though my life is in shambles, my mood is still much better than when it was when my life was alright. Is there a specific condition to name this, or what's going on with me?",3.7903899082568806,5.007620642201836,4.446685779816517,87.44966169724773,71.93577981651377,8.018807339449541,26.469036697247706,8.472884824447931,1.6116321100917437,426,14,90,7,8,136,74,109,0.101,0.727,0.172,0.8618,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,5,10,10,0,0,4,2,9,3,1,0,0,16,16,11,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,5,1,14,5,16,9,3,14,0,3,0,0,5,4,0,1,9,67,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18866756731556628,0.15900042013316926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923133771666195,0.0,0.0,0.2374854210362901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157428536398588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090195242082304,0.128434560810401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392740525593707,0.0,0.2043457454341012,0.0,0.14378614539566573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050245625606502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876431629993122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654434450170006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838367908791015,0.2539672541687229,0.08783121694037364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112735312340024,0.196250637869066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215866973553134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871094794899888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17202476883687934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19301597767547232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638930458551078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990940476849998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357219692299894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943755796357848,0.0,0.353265029690624,0.0,0.10483091308190977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756185170071844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,adudeonreddit888,2019/04/14,"Is it possible to care so much about what others think of you, that you forget who you truly are? I'm really confused about what's been going on with me, particularly in the last year or 2. I feel like I've completely lost my identity. I avoid conflict like crazy. Im super agreeable to the point where I compromise my beliefs. I'm always smiling/joking/outgoing, which isn't like me at all. Even when I'm alone, Im thinking about everyone else and what they'd think of me, in that moment. Or conversations I could have the next day. I'm also absolutely terrified of rejection, to the point where even the slightest hint of disapproval freaks me out.

Now I fight everyday, to stand on my own and stick up for my beliefs, but its a huge struggle. I feel like I've almost completely lost everything that makes me, me. I don't even know whay makes me happy anymore. Its so bizarre. On a side note, I seem to have some short-term memory issues, as well.

What gets me, is that I'm 28 and didn't struggle with this until maybe 26? I went through a period of extreme prolonged stress(about 10 months) around that time, and ever since, I just haven't been the same.

Does anyone know what could be going on? And have you gone through this?",3.7659714100064967,5.3567974403292204,4.5485120207927245,85.23146198830413,72.53909465020574,8.078752436647173,25.958197964045915,8.6894789155246,1.7671860082304531,970,32,196,18,19,312,141,243,0.13699999999999998,0.752,0.111,-0.4952,0,2,0,0,1,0,37.0,0,4,1,3,17,17,1,4,9,0,16,0,0,2,2,36,39,14,0,2,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,18,9,0,2,10,0,0,4,4,9,1,0,7,2,27,8,30,28,5,34,2,3,0,0,8,16,0,6,17,125,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174524426159775,0.12592066481554728,0.0,0.09722783063573796,0.1011646622456408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057512274077488,0.08501186764300761,0.0,0.0,0.10823236446945107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239593572760381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549495476805055,0.0,0.0,0.1941441698967896,0.0,0.0,0.07840932303465979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639585874188788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015648533047384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409081937100395,0.10997646485154576,0.0,0.11617531668448032,0.10926865620403776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229494429137753,0.17371417535028588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352075969222243,0.0,0.1381939270490721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942463475770916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26265546808429324,0.12689838745454354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363485589704652,0.0991042823548919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23759223879517435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654388157228125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231177005538774,0.0,0.12214388934804345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704434396272367,0.0,0.08937560958529561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293021728427976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22986562032514285,0.13706367364203853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788754046034482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068226257000936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057259292539496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926997850637202,0.2542045390184996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23371150229909224,0.0,0.0,0.07089452987706525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931541306633336,0.1127062821094657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829381452613139
mentalhealth,jabronioli666,2019/04/14,Mood Stabilizer making me hyper? Not really sure if this is the right place to be posting this but im currently on 1000mg of depakote after recently being diagnosed with bipolar. My dosage was upped from 500mg the other day and i feel like the 1000mg is making me very hyper and making my racing thoughts worse. Is this possible? Or am i just freaking out?,2.188714285714287,4.841183800000003,4.005357142857147,81.93089285714288,82.42857142857143,6.928571428571428,23.035714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.717,286,10,51,6,8,96,53,70,0.136,0.8190000000000001,0.044,-0.7737,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,7,2,0,3,1,15,12,5,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,6,2,8,8,0,10,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,5,35,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993550392859912,0.0,0.0,0.25170851658549953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539313151232656,0.17716684125628704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678758916786877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115725837995416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4966134204323445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591007688998541,0.0,0.0,0.27957578086160034,0.23750953671417235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588711973419023,0.0,0.2448639883083154,0.0,0.0,0.21178537527012287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337312492985664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968793993433951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046208812484059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25272689883766336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,agent_wolfe,2019/04/14,"I want to date but I also don’t? Hey all. I’m kindof in a weird state. I’m blaming my medication, but I’m sure I’m also at fault.

I’ve been feeling lonely. Between jobs, no friends, I basically only talk to my parents right now. So I went on all the dating sites to try & meet someone.

I’ve had a few offers to meet up. Idk if I’m being picky or scared or apathetic, but I don’t really want to meet up with these guys.

So.. I’m lonely because I don’t talk to anyone, & the few ppl that want to talk to me I don’t want to meet. It literally makes no sense. How can I sort myself out?",-1.0445454545454569,0.7928630303030317,2.4132121212121227,93.4348181818182,89.15151515151516,5.035151515151517,17.133333333333333,6.42735559955562,-0.3148521212121205,448,11,110,5,15,163,75,132,0.22,0.6759999999999999,0.104,-0.9574,2,4,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,4,0,8,1,0,2,3,20,21,11,0,5,6,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,3,1,12,2,17,17,4,13,0,2,0,0,12,8,0,5,3,62,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288881177479622,0.0,0.39140024573578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629268936618096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010339130420632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913261655823156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954544326170545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788407607638018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923604043015393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205642842841728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819541865361501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13736854584059144,0.0,0.0,0.2005555244004572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570886778021824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542472543476654,0.0,0.0,0.18083067716057447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303751081998831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702308453242832,0.0,0.0,0.4355230450175659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226281389638628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4261340005244251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743520488034688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SuperNova707,2019/04/14,"I’m touch starved and crave it, a LOT. But also, I’m super freaked out by people touching me. What do?      Just imagine! I’m hanging out with my family on a birthday or a holiday when all of a sudden, someone touched me on the shoulder, or bumps into me, or gives me a hug and it kinda ruins my entire day by making me super sensitive to everything, emotional, easily overwhelmed and anxious!
     Whenever I have physical contact with another human, my anxiety skyrockets(already having the disorder for it doesn’t help)! And my grandmother is so pushy and judgmental whenever I tell her to stop touching me. It overwhelms me and sometimes makes me go into a full blown panic attack. I’m terrified of the idea of someone touching me... but if I’m the one initiating it I’m okay? I’m homeschooled, so I’m at home most of the time and in my room as well. Far away from any people. 
     I will give my friends hugs, ruffle my brother’s hair, tickle people, so... basically, I am extremely physically affectionate towards others. To the point where it gets really annoying for them.  But the instant someone so much as brushes my shoulder when walking by makes my heart race and makes me curl in on myself because I was touched
Not even a lot!!!
I’m sick of it!!!
     Because of that, I’m rarely touched by people. Causing me to be Touch-Starved!
Horay!
I had a rough childhood btw... u can probably guess and be on the dot.
Doesn’t help that I got depression too. And no one touching me and me not really touching anyone anymore doesn’t help it at all! Just gives more fuel for the fire!
I crave physical contact.
I crave the affection that I’m so fearful of.
I want to be hugged, cuddled with, held hands with, high fived, and so many more!!! 
     I fantasize about hugs or cuddles and it makes me happy. But any time the opportunity arose irl, I would freak out and bail. 
    Some times I will cry myself to sleep while trying to hug myself to get some kind of physical feeling. I cuddle with pillows and stuffed animals because I need something there. Another presence besides my own... even if it’s not even alive 
It makes me feel so alone and lonely
I’m around other people but I can never truly be “there” it feels like.
And that makes it hurt... :(
     I have physical reactions to contact! I will either flinch or become short on breath, or my heart will start racing, or I will start shaking. I physically lean away from anyone, at all times, if they get too close.
     Why do I have to crave and NEED the thing that I’m freaked out about and fear the most!!!
Conflicting feelings like these make me miserable.
Help
(I’m sorry if this seems confusing or jumbled up, I’m not the best writer and even less so when I’m emotional)
I don’t know what to do... if I do anything at all.
I’ve been dealing for years, and as you can probably tell why, the longer it’s here, the worse it gets...

Sorry for how long it is, I wanted to make sure I got everything I was thinking out, even though I know I’ll probably think of something else AFTER I post it.
And I’ve never made a post on reddit before so I hope I did it right 

Thank you for reading my long rant/vent!

Reply plz
Thank U!",2.314702819034462,4.6028445705024295,3.8075904030608214,85.77954565985603,78.9837925445705,6.833583973217845,25.67391131067832,7.925487318751,1.6494283763318012,2448,96,478,43,61,808,273,617,0.154,0.711,0.136,-0.8761,0,3,2,0,0,0,105.0,0,2,2,4,32,38,2,8,25,1,33,17,8,13,7,110,89,59,0,11,25,1,17,2,1,6,1,0,3,1,30,36,0,3,11,2,0,4,11,17,1,3,9,18,66,21,68,70,18,59,0,7,0,8,21,33,0,24,22,320,96,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682422841932083,0.07271137660515145,0.05269229843610175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961507070394159,0.1381830541414775,0.050405755020073065,0.07443707122635453,0.06534528549988239,0.0921437960955435,0.0,0.05422194764032435,0.05865616883334019,0.0,0.07495951414327698,0.12381185762438594,0.0,0.0,0.12049800137298418,0.07277045153216992,0.05606763193027288,0.0,0.06914760702082967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768729487337899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237719362448153,0.04249367102505693,0.06792981182809285,0.05675105656599374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551577633802736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055042733402148505,0.14823501395287128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175989864162358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843556736312978,0.0,0.0621153331408526,0.14828938816886944,0.13326408079259994,0.09414381777612207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090653676986328,0.0,0.13769945517472906,0.18962339703832248,0.03744686885696096,0.0,0.10539668283557768,0.0,0.07258538643741037,0.0,0.0,0.07014124901322208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616019897428765,0.17665901158946296,0.06961652051698193,0.06609315427987651,0.06544374801960344,0.0,0.0,0.07053672723284023,0.07438191581742612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861441178136726,0.07242296431331029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438116057325245,0.0,0.0,0.11662135063919965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203483324868148,0.0,0.06234681674627991,0.3958394502055297,0.06680223129413777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048436813434834365,0.09771336571242624,0.10163703211530672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929768973086871,0.0,0.0,0.0773078491376687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283995352018295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622874530223244,0.0,0.126209026395433,0.0,0.21312205374306972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590794239374048,0.0,0.08442178539941439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626979528363223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059983882935450435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593769664436233,0.0,0.16748543319573966,0.1014508540089752,0.06516700517203626,0.1475171708526866,0.09327472024123698,0.0,0.0,0.05508708365629046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062100650399694174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518172351437878,0.12132552427974068,0.0,0.0,0.04377446234720006,0.08443944596638916,0.06473670009851654,0.0,0.1536842157782903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04473506063165657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772738994387017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059243123407093125,0.0,0.11891115432425232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714765286377508,0.046806444796562235,0.0,0.0,0.042431071574225925
mentalhealth,Dhhaywkecnedfwsxvg,2019/04/14,"Is there a name for a phobia of having bare feet when other people nearby are wearing socks? I am in the USA. Is there a name for a phobia of having bare feet when other people nearby are wearing socks? I do not think that it is podophobia, as I do not have it and it is separate from it. I like having bare feet because I find it comfortable and my wife likes wearing socks because she finds it comfortable, but I feel a little awkward when I have bare feet and she is wearing socks and I am too busy or rushed or uncomfortable to put socks on. I have a fear that I will undressed even tho others do not think that and that someone might tickle my feet and I cannot defend myself by tickling their feet. Is there a name for this phobia?",3.6001818181818166,4.7648860000000015,4.438848484848486,87.52609090909094,72.33333333333334,6.521212121212122,23.63636363636364,6.574015621080383,0.6456,580,15,118,4,11,187,70,150,0.115,0.831,0.055,-0.8674,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,9,6,0,2,8,0,22,10,10,0,0,21,25,14,0,0,6,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,14,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,1,17,4,11,23,0,8,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,3,5,93,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130849016729042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169613495219826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28897057203220955,0.1298454263434223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4694197590460693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25091830276842303,0.2573803310915728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724234427199457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35606455811391124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2581541937438931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217585187248958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290932049055787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dkdnsnslsms,2019/04/14,"Tips on how to calm down? Hey guys, I was wondering if anyone could share with me how they calm down and ease anxiety? I’m in a high stress situation due to college/multiple illnesses/personal life. I have ME and fibromyalgia so exercise is limited and painful. I’ve found in the past few months that exhaustion and anxiety leave me with zero concentration and ends up with me just watching YouTube all day and not much else. I get long periods of chest pain and feel my thoughts running away (either spiral into depression/self image problems or really bad anger at people that have caused trauma). Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do/what works for them when the run away thoughts or severe anxiety hits? Mindfulness doesn’t help me too much anymore and walking is very difficult so these are now not options for me
Thanks",7.797628205128205,8.160048634615388,7.281538461538464,73.73012820512822,62.653846153846146,11.805128205128204,35.92307692307692,11.429527900616536,4.275569230769231,681,29,120,19,9,213,113,156,0.207,0.7070000000000001,0.085,-0.9611,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,2,8,13,1,1,3,0,10,6,1,3,1,34,19,17,0,4,7,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,12,0,1,5,1,0,3,3,9,0,1,4,2,13,4,20,12,5,23,0,0,1,0,7,11,0,5,9,77,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777920796950944,0.0,0.3299870053721504,0.0,0.14259677999537504,0.2010766120196776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701828002957465,0.0,0.12005505522210567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477075235298907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296023661669906,0.0,0.0,0.0927298826839894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582783675911094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011450382758493,0.0,0.12735145409856127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270237119899975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765360068198575,0.0,0.0,0.07512209474954848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423704509179477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637652516595248,0.15191748852671946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224829738242301,0.0,0.0,0.10156009355820847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724582158181386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451825703055958,0.0,0.11476837552634185,0.0,0.21139807030322127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059962491090082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13725972223303232,0.09968290144598058,0.1255481288975318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758349811346868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211280253292893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999984566352176,0.162436916266647,0.0,0.0,0.16162115341241354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470603581909415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323785561666331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282995727097308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863826259196385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592946031197305,0.1046777035222716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThePilot916,2019/04/14,"Split between letting out the truth or holding it back which is slowly detriorating mental heath. So for a brief introduction, this is about 3 people A, B and C. A and C have been friends for a long time. B met A around the same time as C met A but B wasn't socially active so never really interacted with them but had a little crush on A since day one. B finally decides to start being social and light up a conversation with A but ends up video calling A at 2:00am in the night while A has no clue who B is. B retreats to not having any conversation due to anxiety and social discomfort. Then one day B hears about A's relationship with X so puts it all to rest.

Almost 3 years pass by with B's crush for A increasing with every passing moment. B had decided to finally start being social and the best thing happens, A, B and C all of them head out on a road trip. A and B start getting to know each other bit by bit and with every bit of A that B learnt about, B kept falling in love with A harder and harder. Now B was deeply in love with A and understood A as a person. B felt a real spark but was too reluctant to make a move because B had remembered about A's relationship but sadly B was in the dark about that relationship having come to an end. A and B continued talking but C kept on inputting wrong thoughts about B into A. Though B was fully aware of the happenings, B refused to say anything since B's actions would be used against B to prove C's point because of the 3 year long friendship of A and C. Slowly with B not having made a move the spark in A faded and the wrongly imputed thoughts by C started to seem acceptable. 

Throughout this time B never revealed the real amounts of feelings for A and one day A hears it from B but doesn't understand why B has so much feelings for A. It was obvious to B who had built those feelings through 3 years but to A it seemed that all of those were just from a few days out on a trip. B chose not to reveal it thinking that it would be a lot for A to handle. Only if A and B had agreed to go out on a date, B would have told it to A but they did not.

It's been well over a year now and B is struggling with the truth that's held within because B cares about how other people handle it, how it would affect the friendship of A and C, worse what if C backfires it on B saying B is trying to ruin their friendship. Holding back the truth for so long has been taking a heavy toll on B's mental health.

B needs some advice.

Thank you.",5.477233169129717,4.565835385057471,6.5324384236453215,81.43318965517243,67.75478927203065,9.372851669403394,30.52025177887247,8.527137837955566,2.072009085933223,1949,62,421,25,28,657,221,522,0.09,0.7979999999999999,0.112,0.9374,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,4,1,23,17,0,2,58,0,39,4,1,6,10,103,77,41,0,7,17,0,4,0,1,4,1,4,0,1,28,35,0,6,19,1,0,13,9,6,1,3,27,9,5,11,83,41,16,75,0,2,0,2,31,26,0,8,36,280,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275242120777439,0.0,0.0,0.07455168195134887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062906996208391,0.0,0.05695462777313181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126663202959875,0.06627696105673815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449607804692302,0.0,0.13615347717481116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813147958414295,0.0,0.2438428426852222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602255025930993,0.0,0.07590751190805926,0.0,0.0,0.06413273759239548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192058324687904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188255076354807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545595300872936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293362405813374,0.0,0.07148440523132979,0.16311433735174194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752047264825611,0.0,0.038897449363255135,0.0,0.04231208274071404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167312273680154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640795901114278,0.07913767661924291,0.16782283532609982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04091619075092486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761309464989312,0.0,0.0,0.0746192206379709,0.0,0.19765973984747612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329537393857589,0.13438943566643985,0.07044710944633098,0.04969646055384625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005771055400874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825875142090293,0.054729875162052924,0.05520429532694132,0.11484203202169885,0.0,0.0,0.06986699501589981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134928573920414,0.05662315801266162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322956579697046,0.06500753210788927,0.0,0.0,0.07038003300238589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484357744003138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948252890907975,0.04769506340547909,0.0,0.0,0.2397967621102672,0.08433819799949564,0.0,0.0,0.11841246549320572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13555435182411998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317287638251642,0.0,0.0,0.3035726968787367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107865250651276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783209955526077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055977706159780885,0.059840700904952276,0.0,0.06854425721805882,0.0,0.0,0.04946177689354924,0.047705040946911706,0.07314749389040162,0.11821117473808082,0.1302385109712048,0.0,0.0,0.07114089188936458,0.0,0.05054717910028023,0.0,0.0,0.07750586701640072,0.0,0.06430155268630157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694017459762297,0.0,0.06718023100650113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587168515128483,0.21155073580072173,0.16280043760747967,0.0,0.1917753944217498
mentalhealth,IsleOfSgail,2019/04/14,"I occasionally hear voices. They've been around for years. Incoherent whispering that makes no sense. It sounds like English, but it isn't. Just a slur of syllables. The way I describe it is like the people in this video: https://youtu.be/Vt4Dfa4fOEY. It only happens maybe once or twice a week, and only when everything is super quiet. If it happens more often, I definitely don't hear it due to background noise. I can admit I've had my fair share of mental health issues, but nothing too off-the-deep end other than common societal issues. I'm not crazy; am I?",3.6317919580419584,6.454898105769235,4.549195804195804,79.2867132867133,77.55769230769229,6.858741258741258,22.916083916083927,8.00094639256281,1.519165384615385,449,14,77,8,11,145,79,104,0.015,0.7559999999999999,0.229,0.9727,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,1,0,11,15,6,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,1,9,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,6,6,4,7,13,1,9,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,8,47,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443827783484264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355476673081904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761084709088081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.346558327375337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082871604431832,0.4417029071472338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090446748733298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19146389883246487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079907188380036,0.0,0.19685950510612865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747290904355194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880206399082947,0.0,0.0,0.20868183115410413,0.0,0.29805971824336325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584801861876686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15553708958862986,0.15718038241366367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618626820181686
mentalhealth,avocado_toasted,2019/04/15,"Older people living with OCD? Hi, I'm 21 years old with OCD and Depression. My OCD is Pure O and I have obsessions about suicide. I have a therapist and psychiatrist. Sometimes it just feels like I won't ever learn to live with this condition and that I can't make it another 60+ years if my brain is like this.  I'm constantly obsessing over suicidal thoughts and it's overwhelming. Anyone older than me who can relate to these feelings and give me hope that I can move forward?",3.6357446808510647,5.638394861702133,4.8095212765957465,81.50875,73.78723404255321,8.955319148936171,27.707446808510642,9.516144504307137,2.6783234042553192,383,15,73,10,8,126,64,94,0.177,0.743,0.08,-0.8875,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,3,1,0,8,1,1,1,2,19,16,7,2,2,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,2,9,3,8,14,0,10,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,2,10,44,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071077220831466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810442844824725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22048782812873094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21343944785634286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17011611335730012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17866019465496052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19973520183018784,0.14110204589819475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947074737575406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617319447935289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929879983365236,0.0,0.34881202908581993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318402645149181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20992315565939915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072547870097223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692940210185045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19534363428300985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320904066516872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293257347502704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680183631187775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254381483572872
mentalhealth,averydangerousday,2019/04/15,"Suicide Finally Feels Like a Viable Option So before I get started I just want to say that you shouldn't kill yourself. I shouldn't kill myself. Nobody should kill themselves or anyone else. Really, please don't kill yourself. I really hope I don't.

Anyways.

I've been thinking about killing myself for over 2 decades. For the most part, it's been [""Call of the Void""](https://allthatsinteresting.com/call-of-the-void) type stuff. Well, maybe not for the most part, but that's been a decent percentage. Lately, though, I've been feeling like it's something I *should* do rather than something I *can* do. 

I've spent the last 2 years largely unemployed, struggling with being an adult with severe ADHD and nobody to rely on or help me keep myself accountable to myself. I know what I should do, but I just can't seem to do it. 

Objectively speaking, I'm a burden. Maybe not to everyone. I've got 2 awesome kids who I think really benefit from having me around. I try to be a good dad. I'm not always successful. My daughter especially would really miss me if I were gone. 

That's usually enough to keep me from [actually taking that exit](https://youtu.be/6xUEg2WxGqQ?t=107). I watch that video a lot. I remind myself that I don't believe in any sort of afterlife. I remind myself that in order for me to have any future I have to be here and I'm terrified of oblivion. Those reminders don't seem to be as effective anymore. 

My cousin killed herself last week. Her name was Amy. We didn't know each other very well. We were second cousins and had only met twice in our entire lives of around 40 years. She has a son who's 10. She drove her car home one night, parked in it in the garage, closed all the windows and doors and let it run until her breath ran out. Later that night, when the police had come and the neighbors started to come out of their houses, her son answered the question of ""What's going on?"" with the simple answer: ""My mom is dead.""

That's it. That's all. She's dead. I don't know what made her end her life. By all accounts, neither did her closest friends and family. On a warm Pittsburgh night in early April, when things are just starting to look up again and look bright and hopeful, she killed herself. 

Actually, she just let herself die.

And that's what makes it all seem more bearable. I've always viewed suicide as this **action**. This **thing** that I have to do to achieve a goal. It's sudden. It'll probably hurt. It'll fuck up my corpse and necessitate a closed casket and leave horrible scarring memories for anyone who finds my lifeless mangled body. But it doesn't have to be that. That's really dangerous knowledge for someone like me. It takes away a few more barriers. It makes it seem a little less tragic and a little more cathartic. 

It's not bearable, though. It's not cathartic. It's sudden and harmful and just a fucking asshole move, regardless of whatever method I might choose. 

I don't want to think like this. I don't want my brain to work this way and keep almost killing myself but for one good reason not to. Obviously, there's one permanent way not to think like this anymore. 

I really hope I keep having good enough reasons. 





I know I already said this, but please don't kill yourself. If anyone reads this and thinks that suicide is a good choice based on what I wrote, then please stop thinking that. I'm happy to tell you why you're wrong and why the world needs you and why you should absolutely stay around. If nothing else, I want you here. I really fucking do.

I have a lot inside of me that I can't get out any other way. I don't know if anyone is going to respond to this or start sending me messages or whatever, but please don't worry about me. I'm not sitting here with a razor to my wrist or anything like that. I have people who care about me and I've still got enough reasons not to actually go through with it. It's been a really rough couple of years and I'm trying really hard to get through it and see some kind of light at the end of this tunnel. 

I'm gonna keep trying. 

I hope you do too.",2.387900598251268,4.829543096855354,3.2119780641202635,89.3023757478141,79.66666666666667,5.890627396840007,22.022165976376748,7.11905507035037,0.722992943703022,3202,98,631,40,82,1012,325,795,0.126,0.7240000000000001,0.149,0.7654,2,0,3,0,0,7,133.0,3,6,1,5,27,44,13,1,30,0,63,8,4,7,5,140,136,46,16,22,30,7,5,6,2,11,1,3,4,2,62,40,0,7,27,2,3,13,26,20,2,5,22,15,84,24,81,96,21,77,0,3,6,3,53,27,3,27,37,412,146,8,0.0,0.0,0.13348747857308885,0.0,0.054798402660596365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04565853365184504,0.0,0.05031711986927653,0.0,0.07588025575101849,0.0,0.0,0.0930220097301346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043939798429652,0.12752916118001698,0.0467192331317378,0.0375222195802925,0.1217722569448891,0.0,0.0,0.04283962408767444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038799454615498816,0.05137189488307887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064768242651889,0.0,0.050901024839688405,0.09311870848410768,0.0,0.046488899997503615,0.0,0.0,0.07855508235101209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05045190894630567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04732220175305786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761804257831179,0.0,0.08077032904580461,0.14134081708631324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04356962473995603,0.0,0.0,0.04298453432315972,0.0,0.04611014837418946,0.06514861889792431,0.0,0.04994898348459169,0.041674580593510084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03522791662560091,0.12646031257340815,0.07146722062751489,0.0,0.07774100877927638,0.15297747842418338,0.07293573264140563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853856162763153,0.04084570948835423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0305625236281978,0.0,0.045737232902334016,0.18115134481246045,0.0,0.05261249871377886,0.048812237163858484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202642321104274,0.4540141844372722,0.047481972471944016,0.12529383800660268,0.07433483317376853,0.05143509185087115,0.048280348125136735,0.0,0.09325148116541918,0.03220631532118436,0.13365753992579368,0.091399794274168,0.04026274354363297,0.0,0.07657953033874089,0.0,0.0,0.0775294100773348,0.0,0.04314472367544373,0.060872336000578314,0.0,0.0916160777530102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04837091963178162,0.0,0.053402333233381914,0.0,0.048462102653604434,0.0,0.03380939383173685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836831281023972,0.0,0.043751287385698064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269256273273302,0.03467836402781619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987536196080352,0.0,0.031611027950262424,0.0,0.0,0.20020604643144416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049160981521089255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107876729808157,0.0,0.04560906411897392,0.0,0.2628938664391721,0.14064308226415945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04337292701770522,0.036260345836648514,0.0,0.0,0.03633468639522351,0.16603818377845847,0.0,0.051511320655549205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03863395712352519,0.07020517311521261,0.0,0.0,0.12909438655350788,0.04860004201016541,0.03641360348279683,0.03812090378420992,0.0,0.04766759707791314,0.052197341201406185,0.14962624949841385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856612523155035,0.0,0.03985354740493427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060584876039361024,0.17529924158051574,0.08959710160590427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287154967725957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050218350728101685,0.03762207339838984,0.10757651909603998,0.10857767385080054,0.0365749424410439,0.0,0.08199386343880205,0.0,0.12343185658040907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0331949588526472,0.04630568755279358,0.0,0.032390605204364105,0.04985286089109972,0.0,0.0880883878533631
mentalhealth,sciencegal1235,2019/04/15,"I'm doing everything right yet still feel unfulfilled Life the past few months has honestly been amazing. I got out of a bad relationship, graduated with my Masters in Biology, got a teaching position in the fall at the university, and was offered a full time research position at the hospital. I've been going to the gym and working out, eating relatively well. Everything is great.

Except my brain.

I feel so guilty that I'm not 100% happy with this good stuff happening. I should be. It's what's I worked really hard for. My brain though almost blocks these happy feelings and I'm flooded with the small issues in my life. I'm learning to be happy on my own again and I've realized how much of an emotional sponge I am. I thrive off others vibes. Now that I'm on my own, its hard to rely on myself. 

I'm not sure where this post is going. I just needed to share these thoughts. Maybe get some advice of how to be happier alone and things that will help clean my mind so I can truly appreciate all the good things in my life right now.",2.8277124518613626,5.0050464926829275,4.274480102695765,83.63392811296535,76.75609756097559,7.827984595635432,23.9602053915276,8.6894789155246,1.7521707317073174,821,27,162,18,19,272,122,205,0.124,0.71,0.16699999999999998,0.8928,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,13,12,0,0,11,0,14,6,2,2,2,30,31,10,0,2,4,0,5,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,14,10,1,1,6,1,0,3,2,1,1,0,6,5,17,11,25,20,7,29,0,0,0,0,4,17,0,2,8,108,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171201828155633,0.0,0.0,0.1247221126932571,0.1289996290433204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399678158434143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780852930874339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12744909453652853,0.0,0.1401056693604559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238809036948892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889336339296587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507394516102387,0.0,0.141572992419342,0.20893875446195265,0.1992332634952912,0.13732042480910606,0.0,0.0,0.11014204926569936,0.3977678301794586,0.2231505383281925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348543440339733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000125858460754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639269836972311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513050529781305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576330106209688,0.0,0.09941723537023507,0.0,0.09156098801505247,0.09235467480682437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890019397340353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928760723215813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979201699100735,0.0,0.0,0.13372360401344274,0.0,0.2127356316907855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946840587959713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258370015233945,0.0,0.0,0.11738998715559926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549532217802293,0.0,0.12237295977013085,0.09888138718926963,0.07262801597131374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198835199076257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135253446539865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CrispyScips,2019/04/15,"I think im going insane? Idk if its the weed, brainwashing, or if its something else but sometimes during the day it feels like images in my mind project over whats in front of me and i get a painful headache that feels like a scalpols being twisted around in my brain. A really loud sound happens in my head when the mental image projects itself and its usually triggered by anxiety. It pops up distorted creeepy faces behind me when im alone walking up the stairs or in the dark. It doesnt feel real enough to be a hallucination but idk what else it would be? Anyone know what this is?",4.8224137931034505,5.880851413793106,5.01844827586207,84.90887931034484,69.34482758620689,7.8689655172413815,29.15517241379311,8.07648339933343,1.8294,468,17,93,6,8,147,80,116,0.156,0.7909999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.8552,0,1,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,9,0,6,4,3,1,0,18,14,10,0,3,6,0,3,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,13,3,0,0,5,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,5,7,2,13,10,1,17,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,4,6,59,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899477939123541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14030101834578285,0.0,0.0,0.1282380198580764,0.0,0.0,0.16326548855983927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20473581332427712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827826635454558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30641546965347605,0.0,0.0,0.189501928715072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27819868341428555,0.26204296512748865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581928580863644,0.0,0.10423083301500738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218061579060578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18822200895926766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962084126120995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079221748321504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920061681674204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482474931822807,0.0,0.1851824053219436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951512544178821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875012556029685,0.11749117196429425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119080374691645,0.18138796223845025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751575046262383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198993856220052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302825811752682,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rftg14,2019/04/15,"This is a bummer. I feel like I'm going to have an episode soon, which is not exciting because the last one got my license suspended (possibly permanently), and put me in debt.",6.187058823529411,6.324045352941178,7.351764705882353,72.63294117647061,66.05882352941177,11.505882352941176,37.588235294117645,11.20814326018867,4.413576470588237,138,7,26,4,2,47,32,34,0.275,0.6609999999999999,0.064,-0.8089,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,7,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,3,2,2,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543477548017577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109708420001058,0.2980788279513035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23712908702880686,0.0,0.3337077296386477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401091277638513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038440902349632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827349827370993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4703793356130573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194449442983138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rrtigga,2019/04/15,"Online Therapy Platform for Teens Hi everyone! I know we all deal with mental health issues and it's something we often go through in the dark.

I'm currently building an online teen therapy platform for teenagers. Teenagers would be able to sign-up and get connected with a licensed counselor who they would be able to direct message and do video chat sessions with.

What inspired me to start this platform was dealing with depression and anxiety myself and being in those dark moments in which I couldn't open up to anyone around me and in-person counseling was hard to access for me. I've also had close ones in my life deal with similar issues.

The platform isn't out yet and all I wanted to ask is if you if anyone have any feedback, advice, or thoughts you wanted to share regarding this platform or experiences with their mental health. Or if you are/knew any licensed counselors or people who are 13-19 who would benefit from this, I would love their thoughts as well to make sure it can meet their needs.

If you're interested in connecting individually about this, please let me know. I'm looking to ensure the effectiveness of this platform and your feedback/advice would go a long way. Teens go through so much pressure now and have a world of expectations on their shoulders, so I want to help in any way I can.

Here's the link: https://www.imhereandcare.com

Thank you so much :)",8.311295163979992,8.257448536964981,7.409752640355755,74.63440661478602,61.684824902723726,10.144413563090607,36.25597554196776,9.606745405546679,3.3771936631461914,1122,46,196,18,14,345,143,257,0.035,0.83,0.135,0.9762,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,2,5,5,1,11,10,0,1,8,0,21,5,1,2,3,52,41,22,0,15,8,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,13,21,0,0,7,2,0,3,2,2,1,1,5,2,24,8,36,26,4,30,0,1,1,1,26,19,0,9,6,133,37,2,0.21423313576748348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20934614083084754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566108063647823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21852881803371446,0.0,0.08194388124012307,0.0,0.0,0.14979678969713786,0.0,0.0,0.09535645544771112,0.10013953129752637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312974340462769,0.09225934295882228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235447099258553,0.0,0.10478055744817866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596398564595538,0.0,0.18263044209181806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595540498569713,0.0,0.0,0.22771980532776706,0.0,0.0,0.07179797753212733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236037342251908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773692873728862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953394803063854,0.07565959970954651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479479181529653,0.0899509390253517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667688462510657,0.0,0.07150114083617881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589661268233604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748600476963204,0.07942557781669117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258495859658941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426114093688224,0.09353005539745356,0.0,0.11758182503471895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246356719892338,0.0,0.0,0.07581765807406161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095609755791662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861854414258438,0.2449942613530331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170077179725901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954038109722188,0.17004829144056555,0.0,0.0,0.09631065871013232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.380462682500685,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kutyhooveses,2019/04/15,"DID attack or something else? Disclosure: I'm not looking to self diagnose myself, I've been dealing with my mental health for years and have been taking medication for two years. Im seeing my new psychologist in a few days. (I have PTSD, MDD, DID and Bipolar disorder *still don't know what type or if I even have it*)

I had a recent episode in which I would like help getting input on, because I have no clue what happened as I've never had anything like this happen before. 

To start out my story I was hanging out with my boyfriend all weekend and decided to go to sleep around 1pm Sunday after a long 24+ hours of hanging with friends, relaxing and videogames. I wake up at 8pm and see it's suddenly dark and I'm sweating really bad and can't breath. I panicked and ran outside to my car telling my boyfriend bye. No context, just bye.
 I felt like I was... someone else, and I had no idea where I was and what was going on, I could barely stand up and walk in a line and my body hurt. My boyfriend comes running out for me and ends up calming me down, things are good and I ignore it.

I wake up today though and again I don't know where I am, and think I'm 16 years old living in my parents house, but I'm now randomly in a random home again. I don't run this time because my cat comes up excited to see I'm awake, and I never I moved out a long time ago. Yet, even with my cat there I forgot I had a job to do, I felt as if I haven't been to work in years and don't know what I'm doing. I figured it out and it came to me after minutes of thinking. All day I was zoning out, my body hurt badly and my stomach was aching terribly. I couldn't get a grip on anything. 

I'm still shaken up about it and it's worn off over time, but I'm afraid to go back to bed. I think I'll set some early alarms just in case it happens again.",2.1023664122137404,3.14100380407125,3.6910101781170495,91.932393129771,75.84478371501272,6.461374045801527,24.29592875318066,6.742157984588678,0.6291113486005084,1417,44,328,12,30,472,191,393,0.108,0.838,0.054000000000000006,-0.9683,2,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,1,18,17,1,2,8,0,32,12,8,0,4,67,68,30,0,5,9,1,3,3,1,1,4,0,2,1,16,35,0,2,11,2,0,14,13,9,0,1,21,7,45,8,52,44,4,80,0,2,4,0,8,29,0,7,40,207,61,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355358075865645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551317716766061,0.08390915290647938,0.0,0.10723150623619512,0.0,0.07247819428388473,0.15740213976065492,0.11491698626344495,0.0,0.0802061845209942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093976527515096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780546200719468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238896893128835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752569387060248,0.0,0.0,0.12157657107575842,0.09717533689912546,0.0,0.09566937173215916,0.0,0.0,0.10802725356309643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15748008181558054,0.0,0.08348416207738922,0.0,0.0,0.12451237090081953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18100395049342927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282310561227512,0.0,0.09849129997071857,0.0,0.1607061170521741,0.07905871347702652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250054770463996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001913078425986,0.0,0.0,0.0631788109869792,0.0,0.09454795120184263,0.0,0.09282464430757714,0.10876049217099712,0.20180919240463047,0.10640523702689758,0.1018142675771835,0.0,0.09353601806468324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540436003685715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814835048774224,0.0,0.08323109358068424,0.1668298311597639,0.07915255512930049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495450824479844,0.09498938378370653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001807985764232,0.0,0.0,0.1453943794548776,0.0910344745154114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890738354328292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046617918375819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101819657715672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603837638956999,0.0,0.09306790345860244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253330561273113,0.0,0.09833112244847382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943255650697735,0.0,0.07986406831058497,0.0725640234509607,0.0,0.0,0.06671593899414717,0.0,0.15054831202956442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708699045735365,0.0,0.08238520382962998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262049035160229,0.18118918752766114,0.09260750872872847,0.0,0.16488690726238395,0.0,0.08934508253722119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207587493679867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686205778222123,0.0,0.0,0.06695781895681943,0.0,0.0,0.24279494167602614
mentalhealth,SantoIsBack,2019/04/15,"I'm paranoid and I think HIV+ gay men want to purposely infect me after messing with the condom. I have some depression and OCD problems. Beware: I had to describe some sexual intercourse in detail at the end, with medical terms of course

​

Hi, I'm a 25 y.o. male. I identify myself as an heterosexual who likes anal stimulation from time to time. I would have no problems in identifying as gay or bisex if I liked men, but I don't like men.

In my life, I had a LOT of unprotected sex with girls, all young and not too promiscuous.

I feel I was lucky everytime and now I've started using condoms more often. The only problem I had was a light yeast infection who was cured by an ointment. It was also after a heavy dose of antibiotics cause I had my tooth extracted.

Something changed last year and I decided to try and have receptive sex with a men in exchange for money; he played the doctor with disposable one-use syringes before having sex, and I watched when he unwrapped them safely.

We used a condom of course, and we did no petting. I was ok with everything, I liked it when I closed my eyes. I had no attraction for him. He came outside, and I saw him removing the condom safely from his D.

The day after, I started to feel VERY anxious. Maybe that was more paranoia than anxiety, because I had the deep-rooted and irrational fear that he was maybe a psycho who wanted to give me HIV virus somehow. I started to try to remember every single moment, but the more I tried, the less I remembered; the less I remembered the more I worried about him pricking his finger with the syringe before sticking it in my butt and injecting physiological sterile water.

I saw him as an older guy which could have HIV because of his age and sexual orientation (BI)... I know that's wrong but this reinforced my paranoia.

After a month or so, and after asking for advice to doctors online in a forum about HIV , I understood that my fear was irrational and I was being paranoid, which makes sense because I had a very difficult life, and I was sure my head was not that okay... I used to play with my hair and rip a little of my hair off and felt pleasure doing that. I used to have rage bursts and punch holes in the walls and doors. I used to binge drink. I tried suicide with methadone. I've recklessy assaulted guys bigger than me like bouncers etc.

All this stuff now is gone, and I kinda feel better after years of struggle with my life, even though some days I feel drained and demotivated and it stays like that for weeks.

Every time I start a relationship I have to explain to my partner that for a lot of days I just want to stay home and let time pass. I'm okay with loneliness as I have been home for like 2 years because neither of my parents work and I didn't have a job too and searching for it was impossible in the middle of nowhere in southern Italy countryside... so I had no money.

So maybe that's a mild depression? sometimes I have intrusive thoughs when alone and I gently punch my head as a ritual to stop thinking about them. So maybe that's DOC?

I don't know, but I know I've been and still am not very healthy in my mind... so I understood that the guy I had sex with didn't infect me and my fear were 100% irrational.

Now, I feel like I felt that time because for the second time (and last I hope) I had se with a men and this time I didn't liked it at all. Two days ago I've met him on Grindr and we arranged something.

His tool was really big and he had some phimosis , but the condom seemed to resist very well and was nicely tight around his penis.

I had receptive anilingus (rimming) from him and then we had sex.

He went soft, so he changed the condom.

We did it again and then it was too hot and we took a break.

He changed the condom again and had sex. This time he was totally deep inside of me, and while earlier I continuely touched the base of his penis to check if the condom was alright, now I couldn't.

I said ""please cum"" and after a second or so he did (or pretended to) and fast as flash he exited my anus and went to the bathroom , returning a moment later.

Now, I know that the condom didn't broke, but what if it did and he came inside? after sex, nothing got out of me, just a little drop of rectal mucus.

What if the condom broke but he didn't came?

My biggest fear is that he is HIV+ and he knows that, and he feel pleasure in infecting people. (He is older and I associate 40+ guys with the drugs and poor sexual ed. of the 80's)

At the moment of sexual intercourse I was super careful and I KNEW I wasn't risking anything, I checked every potential threat and there was none, but once back home I started forgotting things and making up worst case scenarios in my mind.

Maybe he isn't even HIV + and if he is why would he want to spread it like a fucking criminal? Maybe the condom was perfect, didn't break, and he rushed to the bathroom because he didn't want to embarass me if I discovered he faked the orgasm or I left some kind of stain on the condom?

There are a lot of reasons to think that I am safe, but only a few improbable reasons to think that I am not safe.

With unprotected receptive anal intercourse between me HIV - and him HIV + there is 1 in 155 chances of getting HIV if he is curing himself, to that you have to subtract the chances that he might not be HIV + and subtract the fact that the condom didn't break, subtract the fact that maybe he didn't even cum and he faked it.

= very, very, very little chance

so then.... why do my mind is playing these tricks on me? Please somebody help. I know my fears are irrational because I have been extra careful, but it's like I have two minds inside my brain.",3.9568684476782967,5.125745633715797,4.900158977891632,84.54059129657934,71.4801412180053,7.96283985964308,27.232783673820855,8.369477278821654,1.7503514390889716,4445,152,902,69,82,1450,411,1133,0.14400000000000002,0.754,0.101,-0.9951,2,1,5,0,1,1,141.0,6,1,2,4,41,62,6,7,62,4,91,62,14,11,8,195,154,100,1,20,29,1,15,11,1,3,22,1,5,12,47,81,2,9,29,5,6,10,25,26,1,4,70,21,127,36,116,76,26,114,1,4,4,36,74,35,3,27,74,598,174,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04385659591366349,0.03978375620320963,0.0,0.0,0.04648254694846927,0.0,0.03589083022110525,0.0,0.048627881853578685,0.05453458405474195,0.0,0.0,0.03433337412270805,0.05070206396065986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03693273542387749,0.03995306068439639,0.04195710455104922,0.0,0.0,0.034510248217461306,0.0,0.19151067653358345,0.0,0.07637980950666297,0.0,0.0,0.03969305618843658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010135605612735,0.0,0.15399362345428624,0.09151709376258146,0.04610452154354837,0.14243249933533134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035833338019689735,0.0,0.0,0.1157765500839784,0.0,0.07731082516920132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918739581157158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04396569428445704,0.052047001720757394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03975070273181551,0.0,0.050053496427242994,0.08892921936841007,0.0,0.11344098817730022,0.0,0.04033559900148513,0.0,0.0,0.2525145710247657,0.13615723664338714,0.032062558290818825,0.08618442169520504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04149119568917679,0.023448150459825148,0.04305335789761108,0.0,0.0,0.0358949463374296,0.0,0.0,0.17775456157269914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212045255151896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030082378166111524,0.0,0.13505606603475334,0.04457635212198479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044536860121567434,0.0,0.0,0.04673601792019769,0.1479905257556925,0.07316701296174928,0.0,0.0,0.04876267308722186,0.045893237664117334,0.0951010363491403,0.2411891974129639,0.13494581840372954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446710330508066,0.0,0.0,0.05991601523816908,0.0,0.31561867590073617,0.0,0.0,0.0452122694456197,0.0,0.04761099948118543,0.1812655924475649,0.0,0.0358230976697778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043063942899547916,0.0,0.0,0.04779614868546666,0.030412112551458582,0.06826711521324462,0.0,0.0,0.04983435984969496,0.0,0.0,0.0311144102034152,0.0,0.0,0.09853037781108016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883341080846547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028751525902853795,0.09228902775586363,0.0,0.048184740900192716,0.1525221927330922,0.0,0.042691526674647935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04085741981913394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910223097285792,0.04438785150895908,0.0,0.15883284879663118,0.09567304457082323,0.03584153598329418,0.03752201413801172,0.0,0.046918726313707,0.05137730693932382,0.04909186029864142,0.0,0.04229923473196909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029816535675109068,0.11503016224729605,0.08818950705397838,0.0,0.20936092217921445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049863762643287006,0.1218833502211841,0.0,0.0876832357733108,0.0,0.05398558101672437,0.1938112275830978,0.0,0.2592171435815471,0.13235807882759507,0.0,0.036000340263135686,0.0,0.04035285890120058,0.08320913897992419,0.08099513928819849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032673457125527584,0.04557821275333868,0.0,0.0637634801785744,0.04906965904494081,0.05453458405474195,0.0867044956000655
mentalhealth,tiatiaaa89,2019/04/15,"Hello, thank you for making this sub. It’s been a long journey for me. Hey guys, 

15 years this has been an issue for me. First I thought I was just weird, years later I started becoming extra sensitive over things that just didn’t fit the situation. Then I got full blown health anxiety, ocd. Turns out, I’ve always had it, I just didn’t realize there was a name for it. I started getting real help last year from my primary doctor, and it’s been okay. I went the drug route, and so far it had worked nicely. Unfortunately, a recent health scare got me FULL BLOWN anxiety melt down turned into a weekend of depression. Not clinical depression, but something specific. Anyway, long story short I’m going back on my journey for a real diagnosis, going back to therapy, the works. 

I’ve always been really open about my mental health, but I’m really really grateful there’s a sub like this. And I just wanted to say, hi.",2.6725988700564973,5.1415775310734455,4.3783333333333365,81.1863700564972,78.77401129943503,7.775141242937853,22.82768361581921,8.680891452615391,1.8558564971751408,721,23,133,17,18,242,108,177,0.07400000000000001,0.826,0.1,0.7436,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,3,11,8,0,1,10,1,11,6,0,1,0,20,27,7,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,1,10,6,0,0,2,1,0,5,3,4,0,1,14,1,15,4,15,13,3,31,0,2,0,0,8,11,0,0,16,82,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20262794402922615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18629194594789286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872516599329382,0.0,0.0,0.13447421845021607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20974320805367824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462639397267845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120280163347454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035688895536121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361451051137272,0.0,0.13839788861888366,0.0,0.1947649939384262,0.0,0.0,0.12056142173116242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882751679262663,0.0,0.0,0.08161307926328706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270856778432347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925055119199476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05948572579063005,0.0,0.0,0.2155073199577733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127566367544745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270531823570023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771787943238659,0.234007485993256,0.0,0.12022318975582293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682834162785728,0.12190287850475508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686320378700514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373670230651863,0.0,0.0,0.17236453590037076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210013619585922,0.13924303133684054,0.0,0.08089185223230139,0.0,0.0,0.09666374198099928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648795648622555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181713040667627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287262625148076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728528186612974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352281070604648
mentalhealth,Alexandria_Scott,2019/04/15,A friend is hearing voices. I have a friend on the spectrum who is depressed and having auditory hallucinations. He’s had a bad experience at a hospital. Ideas?,3.1463793103448303,6.273391137931036,5.95474137931035,65.28314655172417,85.89655172413794,8.417241379310347,31.38793103448276,8.841846274778883,3.881682758620689,129,7,20,4,4,46,24,29,0.211,0.59,0.199,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,2,2,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,15,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30843806892535314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181683194086911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36134935282242747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5708033728728702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4163467198670972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4170137188989408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jamster4699,2019/04/15,"Increasing anger and disregard for consequences I feel like my anger is increasing but not to anyone, just people that act like assholes. I’ve been sectioned 3 times because I’ve threatened suicide but I’m really intelligent and I just feel that life has dealt me a shitty hand. My dad left when I was 2, my mum died of cancer at 23, that really started the downfall as I loved and she was the most amazing beautiful selfless person and I want to be alive as I want part of her to live on.

I just get so angry, I used to turn it on myself but now I don’t. I have borderline personality disorder but I’m very high functioning. I don’t work atm as I quit my job managing an architects after 13 in October. My friends say I’m mental and think it’s kind of funny, I’m on probation for a year, 3 month suspended sentence for taking a knife round an exes in December and scratching profanities because they wouldn’t answer the door. I honestly don’t think I would have hurt them had they come out of me but they gave a statement in court that they had panic attacks of me. But I’ve actually got such a big heart, I’m super generous and I’m kind and I get tearful at the most ridiculous things on tv like undercover boss for example!

2 days ago in the pub I broke my best gf arm wrestling but it was the upper arm but it was the upper so she actually broke her own arm, but the guy next to us laughed and I just continually punched him in the face and then ran off. I’ve never attacked a guy before and he obv didn’t press charges as police haven’t been round. I just feel really angry at the world, I used to just kill myself but now it’s the assholes of the world. 

I’m starting a 14 week course on May 1st but I hope it helps buf it doesn’t change the death of my mum that never ever smoked, drank, exercised every morning and ate healthy.
My stupid bitch stepmum that was my mums best friend and stole my dad when I was 2 is so fat she had to have have heart surgery, has to ride on a mobile scooter and chain smokes and he told my dad he had to choose between me and older and her and he chose her! Can someone please respond and try and make sense of any of this. X",2.2432922163211693,3.9962596703786213,3.7748329621380847,88.50449831534466,77.01781737193764,7.0995602763976935,24.20769801838844,7.969615865706242,1.215778779053167,1708,57,369,28,39,566,223,449,0.2,0.62,0.18,-0.9547,1,0,2,0,0,2,27.0,1,0,5,5,15,27,8,1,23,0,31,14,8,4,3,64,63,41,4,5,18,6,8,3,3,3,4,1,1,4,15,22,3,1,8,3,1,6,10,12,0,0,19,9,52,15,44,40,9,50,0,3,2,1,37,24,1,4,23,222,67,4,0.0,0.0,0.2033905891273512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237711910591448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07086732614573676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286703451679513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23711102584819715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705260541752628,0.0,0.088676226599172,0.0,0.21872687173930175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024184417082504,0.08976889433250361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06720773236035403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815498123392743,0.0,0.11943529383747087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942651782928078,0.08780259982508185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807724643058746,0.07444864559652473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16102693959314887,0.0,0.1088923115643826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334737716006888,0.0,0.0,0.2063713418882263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24698202355392976,0.06985070531414153,0.1101050666111083,0.0,0.10350543493798,0.0,0.0,0.1115604599716663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341373527021484,0.0,0.11529447484757935,0.2170402750257124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132259919524052,0.0,0.07360759432440317,0.15273727961646485,0.0,0.09202057620040197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405485796053024,0.0,0.06956191928857633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502058128341528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318054593137922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160748513544014,0.0,0.11083000706675698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222696253080926,0.0,0.11285079180407415,0.0,0.0722470639169883,0.1819867512189877,0.0,0.1143928240475014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084165244907483,0.0,0.0,0.20028147562826915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287308870291572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829798176956591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752273180313094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139903583456166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07835400417756612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923342414719215,0.13354891559779175,0.0,0.0,0.06076650588712223,0.0,0.0,0.09957845940282578,0.0,0.0707527005676619,0.11335207907817794,0.0,0.0,0.12535348402274807,0.18001038175538492,0.0,0.08598531960997274,0.12293316850257938,0.0,0.08359209983477714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07586714097758689,0.0,0.0,0.07402878919950467,0.0,0.0,0.06710872544859826
mentalhealth,MentalHealth90,2019/04/15,"Afraid To Seek Help. I don't really know what to do anymore, I don't really have anyone in my life that takes me seriously, or knows me deeply enough to see or understand that something is wrong with me.   


I've tried writing on this sub a couple of times, but every single time I just ended up deleting everything before submitting. I've been alone with my own thoughts my whole life and I can't find it in me to actually share with others how I feel and think. One thing I feel needs to be said is that I'm not well. Despite my successful life, I am 28 and already feel like I am done.  I've been unhappy my whole life, but these passed 3 years have really taken a toll on me and I know this isn't a phase.  I don't want kids, I don't care about having a mortgage, I work so many hours a week I have plenty of money but can only travel once a year, I am just incredibly sad that this is what my life is going to be for the next 30 years.   


I'm not well, and I think that I'm feeling myself sink deeper and deeper every day, and I'm afraid to do anything about it. I don't want therapy, I don't want medication. This is who I am.  This unhappiness is ingrained in my being and taking anti depressants feels like something out of a nightmare for me.  I'm afraid to go see a doctor and have them pin point the list of issues I have. Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar, Insomniac... I feel like none of it really matters, I don't want to take pills, and there's  nothing I could do with my life that would change how I view myself and the world around me.   


So what is someone like me supposed to do? I don't believe therapy would help me, and I don't believe a therapist could ever understand me at all. I feel like the people who are actually happy in my life are the ones who are wrong. How can people really enjoy this sickening lifestyle of 8-5 every single day, barely ever having any time to themselves and only being able to take time off once a year. How can anyone care about living in a world like this.   


So yeah, I guess I thought I'd post this in hopes that I could have my mind changed...",3.2547558243727615,4.193529784722227,4.81335722819594,85.37381720430108,72.91203703703705,7.889008363201913,24.12066905615293,8.259297600419973,1.261656421744325,1625,44,348,25,31,548,186,432,0.127,0.753,0.119,-0.8207,1,1,2,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,1,2,18,24,0,4,16,1,52,11,0,4,3,67,92,25,0,11,9,0,7,6,0,2,11,1,0,1,27,19,0,0,17,1,1,4,14,9,2,2,7,11,52,15,40,76,8,37,0,2,3,0,10,16,0,4,22,231,79,3,0.06861985823908046,0.0,0.13392616621557918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106947846922855,0.0757237199076943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04666385667777827,0.0,0.05249400373208514,0.0,0.06805246066721893,0.09596120074387772,0.0,0.05646829653992129,0.06108622208755704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839044527008564,0.1546221639616954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992503749711893,0.0,0.14518142269689166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16436211946566712,0.07592656797097949,0.0,0.08850826356994439,0.0,0.059102183351656734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786443024877037,0.07023533258005661,0.0,0.0702219392844932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06077682694683966,0.07090265680530841,0.0,0.0,0.12414118067654567,0.17344557034992994,0.0,0.06167110395128394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428738348520748,0.19608816174758026,0.0,0.0,0.06271730727697082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799649356504619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559251012157023,0.0,0.0,0.07304711507658032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198888906624594,0.0,0.0,0.06815500236857128,0.06757673794765827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162130400273259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313503857161553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3392776464319358,0.20114517967615528,0.0,0.060592591999189614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956976594179781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912728800064698,0.0,0.0,0.06928649549876058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050880755405211545,0.0,0.0,0.07297799771258089,0.0,0.0,0.06584260466820861,0.0,0.0,0.1461558190294339,0.09299718367738098,0.10437698864011596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951447393141258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486794593422669,0.0,0.06571885591224985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197981914992317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527319897478863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936228554710302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05814138320611624,0.1056538386707941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063743741962496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15694557635266634,0.07967294429068414,0.04558798472334856,0.08793766882233303,0.0,0.10895300505856967,0.16005116466196034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04658837941854186,0.0,0.0,0.14287138487232048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189508107452782,0.0,0.05504271119334778,0.0,0.12339498694122802,0.0,0.0,0.15322324233504014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04995607405661781,0.0,0.0,0.09749115698625692,0.1500500857172436,0.0,0.17675575566216836
mentalhealth,nirish48,2019/04/15,Lonely and sad I'm 20 years old and never been in a relationship. I'm talking to a girl on social media but she doesn't have the same feelings for me as i do have for her. I'm getting that numbing feeling again and losing hope on life.,2.122647058823528,3.3227874901960766,4.190343137254903,87.72904411764708,76.05882352941177,5.8843137254901965,24.514705882352942,5.985473137389443,0.5973882352941176,186,6,40,1,4,64,40,51,0.184,0.711,0.105,-0.5023,0,2,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,0,1,9,12,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,4,1,7,11,1,7,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,1,4,27,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374419085705761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743364254153519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314240882374829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23569129341794864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733077018495457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573581260190743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35014584433848545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35825237058663706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3401494165677357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682030328696481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21488193502020664
mentalhealth,WombatCommander,2019/04/15,"Random fits of rage/yelling? Whenever I'm working, sometimes I'll start randomly yelling or screaming in a low, guttural tone. It's strange, I know. After a few seconds of me commanding myself to stop yelling, it goes away. What's wrong with me? Is it anxiety?",2.454557823129249,5.295637346938778,3.2480612244897955,86.32134353741499,83.69387755102042,6.531972789115647,34.697278911564624,7.793537801064563,3.0418952380952384,206,13,37,4,6,65,39,49,0.28600000000000003,0.7140000000000001,0.0,-0.9009,0,0,0,0,3,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,3,4,0,7,4,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,3,3,21,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32116939433356684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944448338161229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23072801483763666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152233722776397,0.0,0.29715838394426597,0.0,0.0,0.3509973273180363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056418049180004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590190471607287,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AngryHippie42069,2019/04/15,"The people that need support the most will not understand how to properly reach out Someone that has became fucked can just as easily become un-fucked with the right support and guidance. Instead of addressing mental health in a sensible way as a developed nation should, we have criminalized mental illness and turned our backs on those that need help the most.",16.524285714285718,10.979214841269844,13.552142857142858,54.00535714285717,51.38095238095239,17.044444444444448,50.54761904761904,13.816669648895859,6.728466666666668,297,12,44,7,2,90,50,63,0.115,0.723,0.161,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,2,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,6,0,5,3,0,1,0,14,12,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,8,10,2,7,0,0,0,1,3,5,1,2,1,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017408521199206,0.0,0.0,0.23005707861361505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851501891257349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2214190245554936,0.0,0.0,0.13962279765116611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198459358082817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089118039533792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441281789219534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17789177399037906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17649658920655914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727652660050322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22657658686901316,0.0,0.2168533902589499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534322416051714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,explsionsinthesky,2019/04/15,"im too scared to open up to how i truly feel regarding my suicidal ideation now a few years ago i tried to kill myself (multiple times) and the last time, suicide hotline tracked me down and i was in the emergency psych ward for a few days, revealing this big secret of depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and eating disorder that i hid from everyone but the internet. i used to be able to open up to strangers a lot and talk about it and vent but now im terrified that someone will report me and ill have an ambulance at my house again and take me away. and this time, since i'm not a minor anymore, be less lenient and lock me up for good

​

my boyfriend knows all about this and i told him that he saved my life and now im all okay because of him but im starting to realize that i'm not because whenever we have a fight i get really dramatic and i get all these dark feelings back again and he doesnt know what it does to me. when we argue (which is quite frequent nowadays) i get really upset at myself and i've self harmed again but he doesnt know but he thinks that he knows everything and i open up to him about everything because i promised i will after he found out i had some ideations and opened up to someone else about it (who ended up telling him). 

i dont know what to do because i need to talk to someone but my parents can't know im sad again and my boyfriend can't know it'll just hurt all of them and they'll all get upset again and my boyfriend will feel useless again and i can't disappoint people, again. i just want to vent but i dont know to who because i dont know who to trust anymore because they will just report me or tell me to get ""therapy"" which is not an option for me and i dont want to have to explain again",2.880722049689439,4.093298298913044,3.8688664596273306,90.73358695652176,74.16304347826087,7.539751552795031,27.001552795031053,8.07648339933343,1.4695509316770177,1386,51,310,21,28,447,160,368,0.152,0.767,0.081,-0.9807,1,0,0,0,1,2,25.0,2,0,3,1,22,18,3,3,10,1,25,3,0,2,5,75,55,31,4,3,14,1,3,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,20,28,1,0,19,0,0,0,12,13,0,0,5,3,46,5,43,42,10,41,0,5,0,0,30,17,0,4,24,202,66,3,0.07643059248377201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06775110867879891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281251502380273,0.09287153561301567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159722046210494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180905757975672,0.05877040784110062,0.0,0.2795482786499752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929140920687623,0.0,0.06582955731142859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759608062240043,0.0,0.06688492653922261,0.0,0.35830434066252204,0.0,0.0,0.07820757702923019,0.06384795266077299,0.0,0.0676948191388873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303270647932844,0.13738177650272249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11593681212643815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380219967101225,0.0,0.0,0.199659150081997,0.0,0.0,0.06410635475048884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881906419584952,0.08182053002899106,0.0,0.4127907771899657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455912644891382,0.0,0.3780382931676624,0.062301133929563914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05398518779244205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497855654585097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056672315878196086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486712800242488,0.0,0.0,0.05298734931917371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129334313408047,0.0,0.0,0.09792678932455327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652035650091851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15946755370683796,0.0,0.0,0.06322417591452603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942781789545582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409796674611444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25080798897033263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057466293643200037,0.12286403019813752,0.13360741329109296,0.0,0.08740504349737721,0.0,0.0,0.048973637531539035,0.0,0.06067735305208845,0.133701879347492,0.0,0.0,0.07303270647932844,0.0,0.0518913552606261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601149210789968,0.0,0.0,0.0901614873905945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287153561301567,0.04921879568414205
mentalhealth,orangebiceps,2019/04/15,"Lost in life. Hello so I’m looking for some advice or maybe someone who had similar thoughts or actions.

The origin of the story starts in Poland. My mother has been a single mom since 98 she has been separated with my father since I was 3. I also have an older sister by 9 years and she was basically my second mom. My mother would have to get odd jobs cleaning, picking some fruit etc in other countries like Holland Germany etc. (The exchange from euro to PLN was very high so those jobs paid 3-5 times more) To provide for the family she would leave me and my sister in charge for months at a time and come back and go again. 

Now we are in 2008 when her first love connected with her online and came to visit her from Canada. They haven’t seen each other in like 20 years...So basically he became my step dad. 

2009 February my mother tells me 2 weeks before that we are moving to Canada and I have no choice. My sister just had a baby so she and her boyfriend moved into our house and stayed in Poland. I lost all my friends and family in 2 week time. When we arrive in Canada in March I have absolutely no one. My mother and my new step dad didn’t arrange the visa for me to go to school. I was stuck at home. No friends. No family. Don’t know the language. Can’t understand tv. Internet restriction by my new dad so I can’t even talk to my friends in Poland. Meanwhile I get introduced to steps dads family his kids and his sisters kids she has 3 kids that for some reason they all hated me and I could just feel the awkwardness and the feeling that they didn’t want me there. I felt very suicidal at that time. 

2011 two years go by, and I can finally go to school. I felt like an outcast. I didn’t know how to approach people to make friends. Eventually I made a couple polish friends through a folk dancing group and get a girlfriend! We have been together since! She is absolutely amazing. Time goes I get a job before school at 3 am and then go to high school I didn’t have time to keep up with my friends and girlfriend so I chose her. 
 
2013 I graduated high school only one year behind
My mom was very suspicious that my step dad is cheating on her so I installed a spy malware on his phone to locate him etc... the first day I installed it we absolutely knew he was cheating on her. She moved out to her friends house, and I was stuck with him. One day my girlfriends functioning alcoholic father offered me to move in with them so I absolutely took his offer. I was sick and tired of living with the man I never liked or respected. So now I’m living one hour away from my friends eventually basically lost them they stop inviting me to events birthday etc. Me and my girlfriend buy a property to make it into our home. Her father offered that he would help us with anything we needed. I was 19 no idea about renovations the building didn’t have water or electricity so I basically gutted it all and then my girlfriends father has an argument with us about that property that we don’t do anything and kicked me out. So I called my mom moved into her apartment with my girlfriend. Now we had to get rid of the property we were basically broke paying rent and paying 1000 a month for the property. We ended up selling it with profit and buying a house. 

I have always worked at places where I could make the most money at the time my girlfriend was in school so I was basically the only income. Every single job felt like I don’t belong there and didn’t bring me satisfaction. 

I feel like I didn’t have anyone in my life to guide me through I tried going to counselling in my high school but I knew the person from the folk dancing group I didn’t want to tell her everything ( now she’s my neighbor ) because I felt like it would get spread out among the people I knew. When I had an idea to get a trade or whatever my mother would always tell me to go into business and have an “easy” job. Well my English was never good enough or my accent was to thick to get a job like that or even go to school and understand what they are teaching me. 

I’m 24 now lost in life don’t know what to do started a new job in machine shop and I feel useless there I don’t know how to use their machines or anything and they knew at the hiring time because they needed an apprentice so I’m basically everyone’s bitch everyone is talking behind my back, and my girlfriend is mad at me because she’s says I’m always very negative which I don’t think I am. I am just very fucking REALISTIC. I am lost I do not know what to do I felt for couple years just basically empty and I don’t see my future I have no friends now no family just my mom and my girlfriend. I have no one to talk to. I feel very lonely sometimes my mood is changing depending on a day but I think that’s everyone. I am usually very happy person and appreciate everything I have. 

I don’t know what to do. I’m lost.",2.4491079539633205,4.419175353596756,3.846707648873558,87.2359069020867,77.1256332320162,6.745985451316552,23.75452796466423,7.700901442207033,1.1286111790353242,3842,125,788,57,89,1264,334,987,0.094,0.836,0.07,-0.9646,10,2,1,0,1,0,68.0,14,0,10,9,41,41,6,1,41,0,83,11,1,11,5,140,161,63,1,11,16,23,11,8,19,5,6,1,5,6,24,63,3,3,28,4,14,26,31,16,1,9,52,16,154,24,107,102,16,127,0,9,3,2,120,48,2,13,60,530,178,24,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03729499355181815,0.0,0.04078743146857334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03052102548726305,0.0952705377036758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0266862827452447,0.0,0.09422113828871427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03585784805688231,0.05869399837942645,0.0,0.06979620704017996,0.0,0.06495224820111081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0389713562056785,0.04365129177721877,0.0,0.0,0.040374156069460376,0.032876294634071115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094426995726283,0.08445904574110362,0.0,0.07384098558402633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033803403369056885,0.039435278679883036,0.17025898044388774,0.05041605249743495,0.0,0.03215617350476421,0.10940663115694026,0.06860158082631497,0.0,0.17989570793166307,0.0,0.09648839885348652,0.027265520266663904,0.1832248595922404,0.04180856154854838,0.0,0.06492729877850778,0.0,0.0,0.2653799088485185,0.035283492561331634,0.15951965299318474,0.0,0.1735231709715576,0.032011503918854406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04062800280836247,0.0,0.03768063960846422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025581604690366543,0.161296254678282,0.07656643973334927,0.0,0.0375854391544297,0.13211397333300068,0.0,0.08616865901980457,0.0,0.0,0.2651143604545514,0.03392334883788877,0.0,0.0,0.1258489307892041,0.0,0.0,0.04041187158088613,0.0,0.0,0.08087249964394545,0.14916631850012613,0.0,0.06740186783087078,0.0,0.03204950115264942,0.0,0.2499736384226297,0.0,0.034445954192358616,0.036113224122696026,0.07642752550917803,0.0,0.038342486256551206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22349551282787125,0.06092685347629901,0.2028200235736843,0.0,0.05659863421922597,0.058871344384470635,0.1105817553639205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931002941229758,0.058053334250823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05291845861404254,0.06664947916604215,0.0398749405670542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039240604786498864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030350825881187836,0.0,0.30900508878781513,0.030413050807540837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947129639299335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03233759851711796,0.0,0.0377467653683066,0.0,0.0540276320884426,0.040679463442350926,0.0,0.03190815990559813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04174698412272757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202821778313484,0.10007527921691432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048909965193410496,0.0,0.030299232152142145,0.1780373984804391,0.043865755685437095,0.0,0.0,0.04240339833743004,0.025911944747841583,0.0,0.0372822564615573,0.07946349448218362,0.09181706213010576,0.03296283412972165,0.04203402873914546,0.2204343838592957,0.045022132644529284,0.0,0.061228302379875685,0.0,0.0343154679738569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027785019503360896,0.0,0.0,0.1355587758556823,0.0,0.0,0.09830960921465856
mentalhealth,gaqua1998,2019/04/15,"How do I stop idealizing/obsessing over romantic movies? Hey guys, so I’ve been thinking about romantic movies way too much recently. I saw “Five Feet Apart” and omg, they love it portrayed was so cute. Honestly, it ended depressingly and I’d never wanna be placed in that position and have my heart broken the ways theirs’ were. But I feel like romantic movies are so amazing and I would kill to be in any of those characters positions. It’s cringey , but I find myself wanting to be in those scenarios and being with those guys. I’ve been single for a couple years now and I’m in my mid-20’s so is there something wrong with me? How do I stop obsessing over these characters and storylines, even when they end depressingly? It seems the movies make me lonelier and more depressed as to what I’m apparently missing.",3.0404507257448463,5.826982311688316,3.9572268907563055,82.82600840336137,79.77922077922078,8.298854087089381,25.94194041252865,9.007467420416297,2.5217781512605044,652,26,121,18,17,209,99,154,0.201,0.698,0.101,-0.9642,1,1,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,0,12,12,1,1,3,0,14,3,2,3,1,25,24,18,1,3,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,10,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,5,2,14,5,16,14,3,19,0,4,1,1,7,8,0,1,10,83,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159450240546652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18865366852490786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4405510747456721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020226429622685,0.0,0.0,0.11261284297883856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620931128965367,0.121804369855509,0.0,0.0,0.15583280548551584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376412163514847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20204188742171825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18863164996633305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329709671260345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388181496033249,0.0,0.11380926646811065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533622871060654,0.0,0.1314991779941284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17813494704277602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683469862910517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521569519973885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125829858793595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850892462376432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924874038296084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056460398855642,0.27066800734476976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111744877777728,0.18641366184136315,0.0,0.10979563092890493
mentalhealth,558931658,2019/04/15,"Stuck in someone elses thoughts. I feel like I'm stuck in someone elses thoughts, not my own. It's as if there are 2 versions of me. One is actually me, which is actually in control but I'm not consciously aware of it, and the other is one that is close to the actual me but is... off, and I am consciously aware of that one. Does anyone know what this is and why I feel this way?",1.4757857142857134,3.0717651500000014,3.322142857142861,91.60000000000002,78.75,7.071428571428572,23.92857142857143,7.957251820313856,1.046107142857143,292,10,69,5,7,98,46,80,0.04,0.936,0.023,-0.0644,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,8,0,0,1,0,17,17,7,0,1,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,7,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,4,2,7,1,9,13,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,48,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.5642682790204644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477043141647688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21617773485879646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16867075363859713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32202419441273483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949133682545075,0.13769568299233328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592654696843988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416452494049513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39182306393298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266211442581977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060329254331852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529904722618878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392063543696154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MentalLoner,2019/04/15,"How do you go out about your mental health? How do I start? I'm not diagnosed as I'm 17 haven't told anyone in my family yet about my problems as I like to try and fix everything by myself. I have ""self-diagnosed"" that I got Social Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Sleep Insomnia, and maybe depression. The reasons why I haven't gotten diagnosed yet? I got a lot of siblings, the recent year my little sister has been the main focus as she's been diagnosed with ADD and gluten allergy. I can't blame it on my sisters. I just always done things by myself as I never felt like my parents cared about what I have done. I loved gaming and computers, I'm the ""tech support"" in the house, my parent's didn't support me much within what I was doing, so I just never felt like they cared about me. I'm going back on track now. I lost all friends and contact with others, I'm isolated except going to school. I struggle with going to the store, I try everything to limit my interactions with others. I don't want to keep this a secret anymore as my life just goes down, but that's another story. How the hell do you tell your mother or anyone else outside of the internet that you struggle every day with anxiety or lost all motivation in life and ask for help? - Male 17",4.429264705882354,5.2326451150793645,5.737208216619983,80.331974789916,70.07142857142857,8.78655462184874,26.728291316526608,9.007467420416297,2.038256022408964,987,30,192,18,17,332,136,252,0.115,0.7829999999999999,0.103,-0.6191,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,5,1,4,15,17,1,2,10,0,17,9,1,5,4,38,43,18,0,2,8,5,2,3,1,0,7,0,0,1,10,13,0,2,5,1,1,4,8,8,0,0,14,2,36,9,33,29,5,24,1,4,0,1,24,10,1,3,13,134,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156452531733525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278759903163398,0.14997747931046398,0.0,0.09721430816969406,0.13708250443826958,0.10043803980006928,0.0,0.0,0.09163999957070963,0.0,0.0,0.07537505663636535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988572907626526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321791692682892,0.0,0.08442865709068155,0.3979726252247619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006269039780556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188718140145564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259016138113294,0.0,0.17619682362414016,0.0,0.09240910177106693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823845095271105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573375363715043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22283911815228197,0.0,0.15679884978480652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419582852088972,0.0,0.0,0.06570398867429586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310751237921822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712898799027198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847569676160795,0.14366996646533864,0.09824664875321726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140114000742364,0.08333721952440787,0.08847125157016943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847913425436833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878599009388242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07205954143425451,0.0,0.1512056101052356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176899842874612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379654004179527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078586873932724,0.09678771061463516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920637846880258,0.0,0.0,0.2045225877079848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809563938008012,0.09992398696447698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938249124330426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20495370713748795,0.0,0.0,0.222474869475126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567803690492308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512335266468514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366694207857199,0.0,0.13310487319681655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057817594501465425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845217763500872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312478760222984
mentalhealth,greenishapples17,2019/04/15,"How does one gain motivation? I've recently been totally unable to find any motivation to do things that I want to do. Like play the piano. I want very badly to get better at playing the piano, play songs that I love, it really brings me joy. But I just can't bring myself to get up and do it.

Searching the internet for answers, I very very quickly got tired of ""be the best, work the hardest, strive more"" inspirational videos. They do absolutely nothing. The problem is not that I don't need the extra drive to push me farther to be better, I literally feel like I can't get out of bed to do things that I love. 

So I was wondering if there were any mental exercises, habbits, or anything that could help me gain motivation really. Or is it just something you have or you don't?",4.287662337662336,5.452499454545459,5.731038961038963,78.9094155844156,70.68831168831169,8.976623376623376,28.285714285714285,9.339509955726095,2.382812987012987,612,22,121,13,11,207,90,154,0.036000000000000004,0.636,0.328,0.9937,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,1,9,7,14,0,0,7,0,18,4,0,4,1,25,31,8,0,6,8,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,10,2,0,0,8,6,0,4,5,2,0,1,4,2,17,12,14,24,4,10,0,0,0,2,6,4,0,5,4,84,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22180601261046556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420459201339227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616868885278874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114705009289322,0.2884698547451657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130209648817438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271628563222746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246038906351445,0.11650755095554174,0.0,0.0,0.14905621651494147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556146543016409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043351848352192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931205723704612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934963172839575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29438013461897666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435074979831846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092504004724378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15648391111548718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051023192273914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560497765898456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089521265765951,0.0,0.1610262021533663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555036349855556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21669210036057807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18744156413450053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036852084662402,0.1923828469769912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17685811001396934,0.11872740897397982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DreamsOfAshiok,2019/04/15,"Please help me figure out what's going on. (Not sure if Its to be posted here) I'm 19 m and I'm 99% sure I have adhd or add and have no idea what to do about it and I'm worried / scared. 

Now this might sound from far left field so I thought I'd explain it or how I came to this conclusion. Ever since I was in first grade I've had absolutely atrocious writing, like my dad had to buy me a laptop for college so that the teacher could read my papers. I was the student who in highschool would get handed back assignments with 0s because the teacher couldn't read it. Now I have no idea if that has any relevance but  I've just never been able to slow myself down to take the time to write it clearly. Even if I go slow new issues arise. Like today during my final for a course. During the written section I spent 5 mins figuring out if there was an e in courteous (if I even spelt it write here, what ever means doing good) and where it was. Even forming sentences is rough. I've sat here for a while just trying to make sure this makes sense for you all. 

I've also had the issue where I look at a multiple choice question and blanked. Like looked it and stared off for five minutes then I wake myself back into reality and keep writing. It's been like this for years but it's been happening for so long and I've been getting shit grades (my GPA is 2.2 currently) and I just want something to change. I talked to my friend who talked about her experiences with adhd and she said it made everything better once she was open about it. How her grades came up 30 percent when she got prescribed medicine. I related to her on alot of things and just thought I might have it. My parents have also told me / mentioned for me to take drugs / see a specialist but I just have had a fear of physiologists/having something in my body alter my mind because I'm just worried. I don't even know my own thoughts. It just bugs me that their trying to figure out something in me that isnt there. (My thoughts) for the drugs I just dont know how it will be or feel. I just dont want to be different and things to change rapidly but I can feel myself slipping and I want change. I'm not able to study, write tests, or sit in class and listen to lectures to my full extent that I know I can and I feel like I might just need the help. 

If this makes sense at all let me know your thoughts. If I need to explain further inbox me and I'll try. If you can at all relate inbox me too. I kinda just wanna talk to people who went through the same thing so I can maybe rationalize my thoughts and be less scared of physcolosgists and the drugs I'd be prescribed and such. I'm open to awnsers more questions if you have any. Thank you all for any help. Dont be afraid to say you think it's all placebo because it very well could be. 

Thanks and have a nice day.",2.5014362912400467,4.030800228668944,3.3272226962457343,92.95241538680321,75.72354948805459,6.1120022753128564,23.3004835039818,6.6274283507984215,0.4482128555176335,2218,65,493,18,48,703,256,586,0.039,0.8440000000000001,0.117,0.9916,3,0,6,0,0,0,49.0,0,6,1,3,44,20,1,4,19,0,51,7,4,7,12,128,106,49,0,19,30,2,5,5,1,5,3,4,0,0,36,31,0,1,25,2,2,5,11,5,1,2,29,13,65,15,61,61,15,56,0,0,4,0,39,27,1,20,27,331,101,15,0.13055685538817938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569039691345118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440627008503438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331747079739464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039016299977037,0.0,0.11937937088957028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773346450026386,0.0,0.0725096172000225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932226182094874,0.0,0.0,0.20716776266917372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423902551945058,0.0,0.0,0.042099185513105125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820206313522996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22951749326733656,0.0,0.2271067547879493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172463143345728,0.11809615021963947,0.0,0.0,0.058668041634131564,0.0638548282330236,0.0,0.07345637963903975,0.0990202033182701,0.046634921787904265,0.0,0.07150932675453757,0.0,0.055525797249092436,0.0,0.0,0.05043395130631245,0.0,0.06821056840483522,0.0,0.07419846960101542,0.05475244803577796,0.052209121924821314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057725498024565385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126426221944587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473827982981988,0.0,0.1362674372893443,0.0,0.05802246589708316,0.0,0.0,0.14350126672921204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092520269173007,0.06675161506599654,0.0,0.1594587121529313,0.0,0.0,0.057769354316946415,0.10963487694181673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617680266504979,0.1307215721433096,0.0,0.06558095463574458,0.07110734478569755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077502877571217,0.06591260318309458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680625399042718,0.05034674772509831,0.06304631224258167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951939503679752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248396877320577,0.0,0.0,0.0452558424425084,0.0,0.0,0.07165611086418135,0.0,0.0,0.06251868910686326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625355737476672,0.0,0.13059218592740585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062094733346606916,0.05191202578657704,0.13071018807113804,0.0,0.05201845524566491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700736795177066,0.05399898995720971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507635685630106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18457243668966172,0.0,0.0981625072507831,0.15740498243284878,0.0,0.12019921157472413,0.0,0.0,0.13010426023239127,0.041827780638988364,0.0,0.3109426795078557,0.03806437614363334,0.0,0.06187631664779127,0.062376335107264265,0.0,0.13295930224726396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053861539357624166,0.1155087238791486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869314612099115,0.0605137564690026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325868240272681,0.0,0.04637192210429289,0.0,0.0,0.042037167197671775
mentalhealth,galaxybelly,2019/04/15,"New therapist was wearing my trigger cologne, I ran out I (30f) have started seeing a new therapist for depression & PTSD following an abusive relationship I had a few years ago, that was triggered by another bad relationship I had more recently. I've only had two sessions so far & so have just really covered the basics in terms of the two relationships, major effects of PTSD. affecting me right now, etc.

But today, as I walked in, I immediately noticed that the therapist was wearing the same cologne as my abusive ex, which has always been a big trigger. I always get edgy & anxious if I smell it randomly in department stores etc, & I've only ever been stuck in a place with a man wearing it once before, he was my Uber driver, & I had a major panic attack. The second I walked into my therapist's office, my heart started pounding & I could feel a panic attack coming on. I had just sat down & he was talking for a bit, but I couldn't compute what he was saying. I realised he had asked me a question & I couldn't answer & I basically just mumbled ""I have to go"" & literally RAN out of his office - I literally THREW the money for the session at him as I left & ran out of the building to my car, where I had a panic attack.

He texted me saying he'd be in the office the whole session if I wanted to come back, that he hoped I would & we could talk about whatever I was going through, but I couldn't text back or go back in. He then texted saying he'd keep my appointment open next week & hoped I'd come.

I'm mortified & I hadn't mentioned that as a trigger & don't know how to say ""Hi, please don't wear Armani cologne"" - maybe if I'd been seeing him for a while I'd feel more comfortable, but it was literally only my third session. I don't even know if we're a good fit for therapy yet & it seems like such a big moment, that I don't know if I want to go back & explain. I also feel it opens up a very weird ""You reminded me of my ex!"" dynamic which I really don't want - & he doesn't, it's literally just that cologne always sets me off. I don't know what to do & if I should maybe just find a woman therapist so this isn't likely to happen again. 

​

Ugh.",6.017628487518357,5.0925151938325985,7.200275330396477,77.13282121879591,66.66519823788546,10.209838472834068,32.57305433186491,9.516144504307137,2.7807961820851688,1734,62,355,30,24,593,198,454,0.091,0.8420000000000001,0.066,-0.5511,0,0,0,0,0,0,88.0,1,1,0,1,22,17,3,3,27,0,42,5,5,7,1,62,79,22,0,18,16,2,3,2,0,2,0,4,0,2,17,11,0,1,13,0,2,16,12,10,0,4,25,10,53,7,40,44,11,64,0,1,2,0,33,25,0,12,24,222,70,5,0.0,0.09166899002961597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03429124192474465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03093577026023913,0.09656515205232244,0.838287090043266,0.04700558201529517,0.0,0.04056379531406135,0.0,0.043702176649136934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03616453949880576,0.1320267122813586,0.0,0.11898316131471573,0.03229972195683478,0.0,0.0,0.032917436359963234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422331675482724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996913421850688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177243077440728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033318676543981525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628629968466668,0.0255505736224308,0.03499210697631401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586797375000807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03535669168831666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020210917139111342,0.0,0.08794057320001404,0.032446502537462056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034208342920236494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04584100696537383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768443515956527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034384327176189694,0.0,0.0,0.08503937964592674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04203053656346952,0.0,0.0,0.03779832825089136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07772703093046772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472295407941704,0.041141124789677436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044042260090305464,0.0,0.04119744976499164,0.0,0.08826331598722667,0.0,0.13616285099821565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04041679402410201,0.04246367544077771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043960557310532,0.0,0.04333519861406317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049564225429311284,0.0,0.03819601702225161,0.12459717972706227,0.0,0.033036126932213535,0.0,0.12305303136826475,0.0,0.0,0.061652656663695474,0.03521667638124492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054761803946931024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218584854969132,0.0,0.0,0.04423879624200603,0.22457690305053266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03666813333733414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557775679322226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03191854677067196,0.06845089556534104,0.0,0.031030161431481827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04318956898770975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02748017197771226,0.0,0.04700558201529517,0.02491138024103864
mentalhealth,throwaway679783,2019/04/15,"I want to talk for a minute about the stigma surrounding mental illness Even though we have made huge advancements and helping people with mental illness, sadly there is still a huge stigma surrounding it. I have depression and PTSD and anxiety. You're basically treated like you're crazy either way because if you need to be on meds and if you are off of them you are considered crazy but if you're on meds for something you need your crazy pills as people like to call them. I can't tell you how many times I've had a panic attack and had people tell me to just get over it and to stay calm and that nothing is really happening. That made me feel invalidated and made me feel crazy. It's like they're telling me that what I'm experiencing isn't real and I should just get over it.

I have had my roommate verbally abused me about this on several occasions or at least that's the way I took it. She seems to have a slight mental disability so I try to let it go but after a while I just couldn't. She is cognizant enough to realize that what she's saying is wrong or at least she should be. She's high functioning but some things she's just really slow at. I think she knows damn well that what she said was fucked up. One day, she said to me, you know you just just find things to be anxious about. 

I was super offended and taken aback. I let her know that that was verbal abuse in that I was not going to take it. She tried to claim that she didn't mean it but she has done it before. I don't know if maybe she just doesn't realize that it's coming off as verbal abuse but I've told her to stop and she didn't. Finally the other night I confronted her and I said look, don't do that to me anymore because of his verbal abuse and you are just further pushing the stigma of mental illness.

She promised not to do it anymore but we will see. Like I either let her know shape up or I'm moving out. I shouldn't have to put up with being talked to like that in my own home. But anyway, I just think it's really sad that there is such a stigma about mental illness especially here in the us where we have one of the best Healthcare Systems in the world. Don't let anyone ever tell you you're crazy for the symptoms that you are experiencing. Until someone has been in your shoes they can never understand what you've been through and can never pretend to understand. Thank you for listening. I just needed to talk about that for a minute.",3.7686546184738994,4.883151628514057,4.566847389558234,86.95922690763054,71.87148594377508,7.7823293172690775,23.87349397590361,8.167268648758528,1.1359253012048196,1933,50,410,28,36,623,202,498,0.16399999999999998,0.7509999999999999,0.085,-0.993,0,0,1,0,4,0,30.0,4,13,3,3,29,22,5,1,15,0,52,8,1,4,3,83,92,35,0,12,28,0,2,5,0,4,6,5,1,0,36,21,0,1,16,1,0,8,14,10,1,2,21,11,68,12,59,58,8,53,0,3,2,1,55,28,2,9,18,296,104,0,0.0,0.3332727068867847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379491455674679,0.07944203761815634,0.13947788496581487,0.04916965965414158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799996083174828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573332794422707,0.0,0.05983748220589169,0.0,0.07379692279200473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718049920697548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06057479916848324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045350841408587465,0.0,0.06056685864058529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196218530211777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265977242190441,0.0,0.04644596188365613,0.06360882893931982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111221562762461,0.0,0.0,0.07703256244400196,0.06427157287169766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501007791949798,0.07347901467486438,0.0,0.07992940924208768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218409867641887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04713428273393575,0.07429736488338838,0.0705370961283279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19323126772078664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876294989301141,0.0,0.17177498039276914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059051426487699864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19961659209840066,0.0,0.0712938497446788,0.07064629485963789,0.07659953220135507,0.15622022659853896,0.0,0.35433212512548656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747394579107506,0.0,0.1564250597216181,0.10847085727149436,0.0,0.0,0.06599093303160944,0.0,0.06747432164628388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530184772103836,0.0,0.0,0.08250583960642219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625393639385215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822007860820331,0.0706914259811404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004001183049056,0.13514714928328025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006724146789408,0.055921605607136944,0.0,0.0,0.056036255462269965,0.06401705233875457,0.0,0.07944203761815634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05958224786486215,0.05413608050259796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495219141114398,0.05615796335404851,0.058791004267080074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308982220261992,0.052872190332682166,0.16956262474511485,0.2458525211054703,0.06474157771847712,0.0,0.0,0.09343550000579848,0.09011694754243876,0.06908943728942464,0.0,0.0410043915284149,0.0,0.0,0.06719415700377053,0.07812855332209775,0.09548587312748336,0.0,0.0,0.1464120355733681,0.08458678450045544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04147679465454196,0.11163412289149534,0.0,0.0,0.06322648595364222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07688431979382403,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,measlymeadow,2019/04/15,"How do you know when it’s time to see a professional? I’ve had a lot of issues in my past with growing up in the home I did and have been through my fair share of “traumatic events” which I don’t think is too necessary to get into.

I always thought it was normal to feel how I do but the more I’ve been comfortable around my friends and husband and talk about how I feel apparently it isn’t?

My husband has told me twice that if I “need to go see someone or talk to a professional” that he supports me but I don’t know when you know to go? If that makes sense.

I could be sitting enjoying a tv show with him and randomly just say “Hey, I feel really sad,” and when he asks why I have no reason. I’m not thinking of bad memories or anything. My brain just shuts off and I feel numb and detached from whatever I’m doing. It takes usually at least an hour to go away. This happens at least 3-5 times a week, though sometimes as often as 5 times a day if I’m not keeping myself busy and doing something with my hands.

I also have an issue with anger where it flares up for no reason and I’m just so angry I can’t do anything but feel anger. It takes me a very long time to get over it even if consciously I know 100% I have nothing to be angry about which is frustrating because I just look like a crazy lady and I acknowledge that. This happens less often, maybe 3 times a month at most.

I’m also a very anxious person. I can get very stressed out by minor situations which is frustrating because I acknowledge that they’re minor but they still cause me to change my entire day. Time makes me anxious, new places make me very anxious, new people make me anxious, basically anything that isn’t in my planner a month ahead of time makes me anxious. 

I never realized some of my behaviors were out of the norm until talking about them. But I’m so nervous that if I finally went and made an appointment the Dr would just say I’m overreacting and that I’m fine.

So how do u know when to go see a specialist?",4.086884057971016,4.553373920289854,5.239758454106283,84.80644927536233,70.66666666666667,8.548792270531402,28.61835748792271,8.626192665926032,1.9105690821256047,1569,55,338,25,27,521,193,414,0.168,0.7609999999999999,0.071,-0.9928,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,2,2,29,16,4,2,19,0,30,4,2,13,1,81,78,41,0,9,19,2,6,1,1,1,2,2,1,1,20,20,0,1,19,2,0,6,10,9,0,1,10,12,44,7,47,64,7,53,0,1,4,0,20,18,0,13,29,222,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011984581933564,0.062491796596996566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4242256356398801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541035930928645,0.06685768286572204,0.07021126146497059,0.0,0.07056183583679637,0.0,0.06270795245801668,0.091564306840865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383989904561655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715157305177997,0.07944912277232058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996371512724401,0.0,0.0,0.09687057432154472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049604890039971615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898719228564608,0.0,0.0,0.08227177637323521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058024469699377815,0.0,0.11771481185993216,0.0,0.1707312926943108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328268487497491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533453405377466,0.0,0.0739614263315989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677625054568708,0.0,0.06675508714121108,0.0,0.0,0.2063735015669226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0366915816507183,0.0,0.0,0.06646388122075868,0.06306768982335552,0.0,0.0,0.0638499709428419,0.0,0.07106437028905935,0.2506595162392499,0.0,0.07545115971593029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989315773292802,0.0,0.0,0.05568799792486969,0.05792414161829795,0.14507008630590162,0.0,0.0,0.07358509329494825,0.07206345116007562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169440820518412,0.05206703402191045,0.06557713112150358,0.07846675589207475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04811296976477519,0.15443699291096175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194500010118996,0.0,0.0,0.1795423441172697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441903246510947,0.0,0.0,0.06363461394285078,0.05781803652281326,0.07427888748547784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059977433646962425,0.0,0.08603034869780636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522610924965499,0.0,0.0,0.112936370838648,0.18109508371125335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624606945977787,0.07378841562696566,0.05962347326891775,0.306552555981643,0.0,0.0,0.07176423168606033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271545550490696,0.24787169575009196,0.0,0.0,0.060243177647484235,0.0,0.0,0.06962132725443798,0.06776886730870955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335108829170152,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,chiiaraaaa,2019/04/15,"Extreme low selfesteem, maybe inferiority complex Hi, i am from the netherlands and english is not my first language. So Sorry for all the mistakes. 

Also note, that I in fact get help. At the  psychic department of my local hospital, from a  psychiatrist, and a social psychic therapeut. My next appointment with the therapist is Thursday, and because the next appointment with the psych is in to long of a time i called today for a telephone appointment. He will be calling me wednesday and i will talk with him about a referral to another treatment. More in my post, which starts now. 

​

Ok, Ive been dealing with depression for a long time. I can say I am no longer depressed. Since summer/fall 2018 or so. Since then, there have been coming memories, feelings, things I locked away, I dont want to think about, are coming back to me. Every so often. But last friday, the most horrible feelings Ive put away came back to me. 

During the depression I still had insecurities, but not that extreme because i was busy getting mentally healthy. 

​

I am crying the whole time. I feel worthless, ugly whatever my minds feel like to poison me with. Everything makes me insecure. People I am trying to date with, who suddenly are ""busy"", like every men ive ever made an effort in to date. And then they ghost me. It mostly goes like this: Matches on dating site, talk on site, talk via text and maybe call, tells me he wants to meet me, hears about my past depression, gets busy, ghosted. 

Probably not the only one, it happens. But Thats not the point

​

Ive had a live with abuse from my dad. Mentally and physically. He told me that his favorite kids are my brother and sister. Because he wanted a daughter, so got elder sister (WHO IS MY TWIN, FOR GODSAKE, just a few min older than me), got me, and then got his favorite and only son, my brother. A lot of abuse from his side. Parents divorce when im 12. Instead of blossoming into a normal teen with normal teen problems and attitude. I become this aggressive depressed problem child. Mother doesnt know how to handle, lives with grandparents. Dont know how to handle, get back at 17 into the family setting. Only was allowed back with antidepressants. Same i still take to this day (24 right now). At 19 kinda forced to life on my own. Goes terribly wrong, i could have been living an episode of hoarders. Only without the dead cats, and hoarding. Just living in filth, because not able to live a normal adult life. (My house is clean now btw. Tore my ligaments last year march, because i fell kinda shitty on a plastic bag, which had been laying there since idk weeks)

PUT ON A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT. Like i am 1.50m, or 4ft11 and at my heaviest i weighed almost 90 kg or 200lbs. Pretty bad. Family said something about it. A lot. Random people, people on tinder. Everywhere. And the most painful one has to be: Youre so pretty FOR A FAT GIRL. 

​

Back to april 2019. Lost 12kg or almost 27lbs. Still fat, according to anyone. Still working on it. 

​

But now the real problem

My feelings of worthlessness, selfhate, extreme low self esteem. 

I think i am a huge red flag. When it comes to dating. Never had a boyfriend, probably psycho, clingy, constantly needs assurance. Breaks down when I dont get enough attention etc. I dont want this anymore. 

I dont want the voice in my head, after the they are busy fase, the voice which says: Told you so, he is done with you. You ruined it, you are a red flag. Nobody wants you, you are ugly, fat. Only chances of getting a kid is with a sperm donor. But who wants a single mother with a donor kid. What is wrong with you, why cant you be normal. 

Its always the told you so. For everything. For simple things. And I am sick of it, I am tired. I dont know what to do. I want to get rid of those inner toxic 'voices' who keep bringing me down. 

​

Ive come to the revelation what my script is, for anyone familiar with  transactional analysis therapy. My script is that I can rather bring myself down, before anyone else does it. I want to change that script, mindsetting. I dont know how. 

​

I want to be happy with myself, and I just want to go on with my life, like people my age do. I want to be happy, get married, have a kid. Have a bigger house, and more animals. But i cant. I am so stuck. 

But im gonna ask my psych to refer me to do  transactional analysis. Hopefully this will help. It helped a few people i know. 

​

I dont know, thanks for reading. I am gonna cry myself to sleep, like ive been doing for 3 whole days.",2.3710994349041314,4.875622363223614,3.534255062062904,86.59640242637278,80.19182746878549,6.2410066761866405,23.548033149036414,7.4822170145007005,1.2150688269683765,3566,124,675,54,93,1152,372,881,0.16,0.757,0.08199999999999999,-0.9966,3,0,1,0,3,0,191.0,0,10,2,4,41,37,2,2,48,1,75,14,5,6,5,127,138,46,3,24,21,10,6,6,0,5,10,7,1,9,34,41,5,1,16,1,0,14,19,25,0,3,23,15,98,12,101,104,18,105,0,12,2,0,70,36,0,16,58,445,132,4,0.035705285743618774,0.08460985006931286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07150737210878874,0.0,0.0,0.0285535041092075,0.029709658029495625,0.309493297485601,0.3470866425341875,0.0,0.037440105303398696,0.0,0.0,0.03541004916118565,0.07489789794354794,0.036584284699793766,0.0,0.0,0.0333796223110032,0.0,0.06709258260452647,0.13727580390542266,0.02981242218513981,0.10882805392414696,0.03943368288199541,0.030382568349262142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093772665035067,0.040837334894044584,0.0,0.0,0.03777145796481232,0.12302776842425762,0.0,0.0385847293537059,0.0,0.028507765300736038,0.0,0.07844115959662175,0.046053910960086784,0.036810581787835146,0.1537645514575557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03124593616791538,0.03653890392615124,0.3347706317794304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029827184636596657,0.0,0.0,0.03689310479766445,0.03982083187017104,0.0,0.03229747512128981,0.0601664863906911,0.0,0.0641792170724985,0.0,0.06731953142005857,0.0,0.0902683264788604,0.025507863269494682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03037089781346845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923630495774365,0.0,0.02029213671673141,0.0,0.08567033624729703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03157406626456508,0.07601788122234554,0.0,0.0,0.03664392414813929,0.0,0.0402424520141838,0.0,0.07179750119647815,0.0,0.0,0.035463405155228465,0.0,0.08239821172941515,0.0,0.0,0.07713567132180789,0.0,0.0,0.03173649852771044,0.0,0.0,0.11773614762480733,0.05820914680411121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565909775439704,0.10466279442411314,0.0,0.15764210731387296,0.06319610860657059,0.0,0.0,0.03897653720095764,0.060710714212247024,0.0,0.033785204688304225,0.023833555489953164,0.0,0.07174151729210744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196506011347123,0.0,0.03605216016823928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026475016958860433,0.02753811752652373,0.0,0.07594595291194749,0.0,0.13993439631508467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048389651359868266,0.13577739374909167,0.037992941441033316,0.0,0.03964649438260253,0.0,0.03408473537957872,0.12376774709941843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033753035995986565,0.0,0.03419579388979565,0.07265022376638618,0.07699267404571505,0.10249540905742398,0.0,0.07178734807686575,0.0,0.0,0.035714948101024734,0.040640432058088656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030492118934683607,0.033963903170344735,0.05678855265711795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037248400064067634,0.0,0.0,0.08860734400609066,0.0,0.03573107167396826,0.03639704234295884,0.0,0.027487673367870943,0.0,0.03996914415518208,0.025272385023430537,0.0,0.1140571492690072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026845931301563774,0.08609566856560504,0.031207993514096644,0.03287262995629557,0.04083210599433603,0.041456588732999664,0.04744201060141101,0.045757010776523464,0.0,0.0,0.06246011775421793,0.041037973502571816,0.03384443597547086,0.10235379193329916,0.0,0.0242415452634059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527188314836924,0.0,0.02864062651389562,0.04347941897574404,0.0,0.0,0.032218466781683025,0.07972735284697181,0.0,0.03441862131075543,0.0,0.025993873269255268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807624970197648,0.3470866425341875,0.022993033375113672
mentalhealth,parttimeassassin,2019/04/15,"Suffering from long term MH and starting to see a light. First off long time reader first time poster. 

I have always tried to be a happy bubbly person on the outside, always talkative wanting to be part of a conversation but that was and still kind of is a façade, having intense anxiety makes this difficult bit I try not to let this get in the way, slot easier said than done. 

I have always preferred being by my self and playing video games, it was a life I could live with no judgement from the outside world, I made loads of friends and dreaded logging off and going back to a life I felt like was a lie, playing the game made you forget about the  bad and gave me something to focus upon be that welding a sword, aiming down the sights of a rifle of having a steering wheel at my control, gaming was my escape. 

Many times thoughts of crossing the threshold and away from this life crossed my mind but I never actioned them, having this never ending pitch black hole your find your self in with no way you feeling there is a way to escape is a terrifying thought and indescribable to experience. 

Fast forward quite a few years and I recently lost a loved one in my family this broke me so much so that I had a severe mental breakdown, I've always dealt poorly with stress and my highly strung job mixed with this didn't help. 

I've never shown this side of me to anyone let alone my significant other as I always thought in my head that something would change, probably for the worse and if something did happen where might I find my self.

This life event hit me like a freight train and broke my walls down, I was lucky (unlike many others suffering MH issues) enough to have some one as a pillar of support, my partner.

She looked after me and made me smile everyday when all I wanted to do was shut the world out, to play video games and live somebody else's life to this day it still is an escape of reality for me, having someone who is willing to stick by me and support me even through the bad days is giving me some hope and I'm starting to see the light, it's been a long journey and I'm far from the end but it gives a ray of hope. 
 
Having a health system that caters for mental health is great, however when the system is under pressure like it is now, people can end up living in false hope, I have now been on the waiting list for therapy for about 8 months with no time frame on when this will happen, people need the support and help of others, if the NHS (in the UK) are unable to help effectively due to being underfunded or lack of awareness, I'm glad that there are area's like this Subreddit where people can ask for help from like minded people. 

I have a list of MH issues that I have been told I have by doctors, surveys and MH Support group questionnaires and what upsets me most is that the higher ups are only starting to realize how rife this is and that this is far worse than it seems, not everyone with MH Issues wants to talk about it very few who I have talked to infact and even people with these issues some times don't relalize they have some form of it, I've been through some dark times, times I would never want to revisit in a million years, times I wouldn't wish my my worst enemy, however I'm sure other people have been through far worse than I.

If you are reading this I value you as a person, I may never meet you or shake your hand or give you a hug but there are people like me and possibly you who been into the darkness and come out the other side, not unharmed but still here, you are worth something to someone, even if you may never have met/meet them face to face you are here.

Disability is not always visible, we all have our scars and no one is better than any other, if you find your self in a place of darkness remember that you are not alone.",9.113686426684284,6.31253661822986,8.506743312417438,76.20779000165129,61.945838837516526,11.15338507265522,34.75268328929987,8.841846274778883,2.74136859313078,3008,84,601,32,32,954,317,757,0.142,0.7140000000000001,0.14400000000000002,0.0288,3,2,4,1,1,0,52.0,2,16,3,7,25,40,0,5,46,0,75,14,4,7,9,111,124,47,0,20,18,0,3,6,2,8,8,1,0,7,43,37,0,2,13,10,2,8,18,14,0,6,27,11,70,26,97,80,18,97,0,5,5,2,54,39,0,22,53,428,113,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545202472939644,0.0,0.0,0.2541604703365063,0.0,0.0,0.03461963049640696,0.0,0.038944981016693817,0.0,0.0,0.035596514607488625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475927193877316,0.0,0.04783035630458373,0.0391456125723892,0.08501319937692851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04502456747269717,0.05557906501329445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385460575424903,0.04385329771679601,0.0,0.0,0.057098384384737876,0.04064641779610554,0.0,0.0,0.06566374060824752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05210716462001575,0.0,0.05209722821577175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04252764801558775,0.0,0.13526987103783275,0.05260224839028885,0.0,0.10087405763715712,0.0,0.0,0.048645400601651984,0.0,0.04979843228050378,0.04799214829839901,0.0,0.025740945129222637,0.0,0.04888029144555505,0.0,0.13958876258243225,0.08660575028216573,0.0,0.0,0.039331899846325874,0.0,0.026597670571809298,0.14650865947822006,0.028932561295594177,0.0,0.0,0.0561269708301184,0.0,0.0,0.09003670932272607,0.054193208894883216,0.0,0.0,0.052246966217854136,0.1082270373504434,0.0,0.0,0.1364919908458809,0.05378778809884808,0.0,0.15169134099487924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125416334416436,0.050518983825431935,0.0,0.0,0.05301352917405595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411509589682544,0.17979143956975427,0.14922838128460986,0.0,0.13485982268780813,0.13515767053710848,0.042750447742531686,0.0,0.0555728096749369,0.0,0.04594704790031762,0.14451299818849375,0.03398192190063699,0.10322676958561364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026078989088099,0.05400603693518762,0.10280645635963152,0.0,0.040634801977878665,0.0,0.03742371836266624,0.03774812192806416,0.23558335460389954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349106456251994,0.0387183254483256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05512911134038924,0.0,0.247055555119858,0.08890294618265215,0.053188708143355565,0.0,0.0,0.057391858292577876,0.0,0.0,0.05488813948564228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414762006833493,0.05092243066989879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05026615422350586,0.0,0.05766958100676061,0.0,0.04842578798039504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113521224845993,0.04634532666554462,0.21243531581922875,0.05751228852130505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626947476907856,0.156767876284504,0.0,0.0,0.1081002221180637,0.0,0.12196715069335365,0.0,0.058315691229193514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310821493529584,0.04798080397719085,0.0,0.0,0.08183689550398303,0.0,0.0,0.05821848265664643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124735432756435,0.23748196465532545,0.0,0.0,0.048645400601651984,0.0,0.06912726875678041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042004971189276194,0.1201089726613838,0.12122675998225813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585424397561848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564080322101342,0.07232809441442234,0.0,0.0,0.06556700822428471
mentalhealth,throwaway755403,2019/04/15,"It's this ""normal""? (Hearing voices kinda) (I posted this on r/depression too but I felt like posting it here too to see if anyone can relate or help)

I say normal because depression itself isnt exactly normal lol. I'm more curious if this is an actual symptom of depression or something I should probably worry about. Btw I've been diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety. 

So basically I'll have moments when I get really overwhelmed by my thoughts and my thoughts just start yelling at me. But it feels like a separate person but they have my voice kinda? The yelling can continue for a decent amount of time and normally it gets bad enough that I cant function and have a little meltdown I guess. I tend to wanna yell too. I just kinda feel like yelling, everything moves really fast yet slow and I kinda anxiously shake my leg. The thing is from the outside I look pretty ok, just zone out I guess, I dont really do anything but inside my head its insanely chaotic. This only happens when I'm having a depressive episode and I haven't noticed a real trend in frequency or triggers.

I actually having one right now. It's kinda calmed down and I can tell I'm being yelled at but I'm not really actually hearing anything if that makes sense. I do want it to stop tho because its extremely distressing. 

Does anyone else experience this? Or could this be a separate issue?

Sorry for any typos and just not the best explanation. I really dont know how to explain it properly.",3.4101609657947662,5.9609514647887325,5.1931790744466815,75.89563380281693,76.60563380281691,8.705030181086519,28.45271629778672,9.330973305703688,3.1182448692152898,1192,52,202,33,28,405,164,284,0.177,0.736,0.087,-0.984,0,0,1,0,3,0,28.0,0,0,1,1,16,14,0,3,11,2,22,4,2,3,1,57,46,25,0,11,18,0,3,3,0,1,2,10,0,1,19,10,0,1,7,0,0,2,7,8,0,1,4,15,25,6,19,38,5,23,0,5,2,0,8,8,0,14,14,137,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.2656315646559139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170262124004883,0.0,0.06941170019487496,0.10250424121790656,0.0,0.12688744661903262,0.09296829282390692,0.1493336454178143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575957868908781,0.11062190738673164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522033676137766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244417361121676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907477749844682,0.0920936819143525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940243651209714,0.0,0.2126804882171842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757970931552336,0.0,0.0,0.09375306906114493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154638384987697,0.08875582325094569,0.0,0.0,0.0917562530214842,0.12964159453766386,0.08711941941382954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948101391971974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990872391123915,0.0,0.0802362834810892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311984909303013,0.0,0.20452891691102285,0.0,0.060817471855582624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470332090453797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049865348551348165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298498794817454,0.09093987923737168,0.0,0.0,0.07619418945484419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060566032218672586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643649196163392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556024680955637,0.0,0.1033019130448187,0.0,0.0,0.06148409507233525,0.06900773162310113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07922592957775725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17379727966693906,0.0923096806765478,0.09782721631315652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327580869956926,0.2906344551195917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774868298014596,0.0,0.07215577447797633,0.0,0.0,0.07230370744594275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985190738816165,0.0,0.10156992621919056,0.06422239796395568,0.0,0.0,0.07585816607325342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430796326803892,0.0,0.0,0.07930601632021195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028001872852987,0.0,0.0,0.14406623204154168,0.05290805933786257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351760216234765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092145363509744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Chatmat89,2019/04/15,"Does anyone feel ""not mentally ill enough"" for services? (UK) I believe have autistic traits. A few are like my mind gets all cluttered when there's too much input, especially around many people talking, I'm bad at picking up obvious social cues (like when people are busy, and subtle sarcasm) and I get all fidgety when I need to know something and I can't Google it to 'just know'

The reason I think they're related to autism is because the symptoms I mentioned and others I have, match ones I've read online and what other people have told me. 

Thing is, I'm pretty functioning. I work full time okay, I get out of bed and shower and power through the day like any other ""normal"" person but I have quite a few traits, including the ones I mentioned, that make me wonder if I have autism. 

Thing is, how can I get myself looked at without services thinking I'm okay because I'm functioning through life. I had the same thing when I tried to get treated for low moods a while back and I don't want it to happen again. I feel like I want to be able to label these things with me so I have a focus point on how to improve myself. 
Sorry for the lengthy post.",3.2512066191680087,5.032674327510918,3.899172603999084,88.57450471156059,74.28384279475982,6.0437600551597335,24.71638703746265,6.5966054737557815,0.8181475982532751,907,29,179,7,19,287,136,229,0.051,0.8640000000000001,0.086,0.8151,2,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,3,13,10,0,0,10,2,16,3,0,5,3,37,39,18,0,5,5,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,2,1,12,11,0,0,8,1,0,0,4,2,0,2,2,3,25,7,22,36,8,19,0,1,1,0,6,9,0,2,13,119,37,4,0.12701832524554893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637681681093995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888141663348517,0.0,0.0,0.11307323891730515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766925174051808,0.10605499602104343,0.1548583842564307,0.0,0.0,0.1431061562662331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191631181950848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115459238376882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124388411722376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284485634355965,0.09074191693488158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318091622637827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232188553017793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396118994775484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971679949907971,0.2482189510861789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666340282359647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478571841486371,0.1287766454845186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800459681858198,0.0,0.12825229964368645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337308397129554,0.09418247872621932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445099019663752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17214180889295766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641755408798381,0.1109075022792168,0.0,0.0,0.12007337330801665,0.0,0.12164844447716215,0.12922330068692914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13509962389333874,0.12705269820826487,0.0,0.0,0.13059599322462065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947918679295814,0.0,0.09778491232793543,0.0,0.14218661596893878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202067437823822,0.0,0.10209251846372568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3375413251775904,0.16277642808432802,0.0,0.0,0.07406540690499325,0.0,0.0,0.12137145302286728,0.0,0.08623710513988213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983739832230855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244113287720262,0.13774595548980084,0.09247085355971206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mntlhlththroaway,2019/04/15,"Final year of university and fell into a deep melancholy and loneliness I came home 2 weeks ago for mothers day and it turns out my mother has been having psychotic episodes and I knew nothing of this. My family has been having a lot of issues recently and my grandfather was put in prison falsely for reasons which I won't go into. My other grandfather has been diagnosed with vascular dementia.

​

When I came home my mother was having some really really bad psychotic episodes and was making accusations of the neighbours raping people falsely and that there are cameras everywhere and talking to people. I've never seen this behaviour before. She ran out of the house several times that day but later on that evening I had to restrain her myself as she was putting herself in danger by running onto the roads. She was finally put into a mental health ward 2 weeks ago but it looks like she hasn't improved at all

​

I've fell into a deep loneliness recently, I've been drinking a lot of alcohol alone by myself, I've got serious university assignments and dissertations to hand in. Last night I ended up deleting some of my best friends that I made abroad 2 years ago from instagram impulsively for some reason and I've been making a lot of melancholic instagram stories and I can feel myself getting buried into a hole even though I'm trying my hardest to fight it.

​

I'm currently living in my university dorm alone and there are only exchange students here but they have gone travelling as it is the easter break. I'm worried about my degree mainly. I don't have many friends at university to be honest but people have the perception of me being funny and a bit of a clown so it's hard to talk seriously about these problems to anyone I know.

​

Thank you for reading at least guys, I'd appreciate any advice, I feel guilty for having these problems and complaining about it cause it could always be worse but I've got a history of mental health problems from my teen years. But any comment would be appreciated.",7.485128380691543,8.170229803149606,7.687757617254365,69.44965080451901,63.30446194225722,10.6155882688577,35.46285518657994,10.472087959537523,3.9754917494008897,1669,72,268,38,23,543,198,381,0.153,0.747,0.099,-0.9244,1,2,2,0,1,0,33.0,0,1,1,1,11,17,3,0,15,0,34,7,1,6,2,55,56,25,0,5,6,3,4,1,3,2,4,0,3,1,17,24,2,1,7,3,1,12,4,11,0,0,20,6,33,6,50,29,11,55,0,1,2,1,20,20,0,6,23,188,50,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029349002831632,0.1912965891469035,0.07687602635547375,0.0,0.1490047452312644,0.0,0.0,0.059855206237989324,0.3117636886275282,0.3496328121769324,0.09783575489147757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050298224276117055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006224227064408,0.0,0.0,0.06121089959296869,0.0,0.07549074367381546,0.0,0.07853376399124942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16454764305036154,0.0,0.07389647230627923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743378701180962,0.0,0.0,0.09278350951886699,0.0,0.0,0.07301192971829701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046835324055875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371255150760352,0.0,0.0,0.09502402188571364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781337625953171,0.0,0.07274441587696819,0.0,0.0,0.15760129842778128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115272051157964,0.0,0.037582769391745416,0.0,0.04088199288539754,0.0,0.11506506603495698,0.0,0.0,0.0712263927528485,0.0,0.0,0.06443911769049683,0.0,0.0,0.1529258652825267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431219194130926,0.0,0.0,0.08300267124934968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508085317298899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039533280113562434,0.058636159383565666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03514352773476384,0.0,0.06351941739413754,0.0,0.06040680196273815,0.0,0.0,0.18346823361726355,0.0,0.06806609461487174,0.09603357789035634,0.07293021894373837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498596755118046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548026511512322,0.0,0.0,0.06750558724956585,0.0,0.06902302328134545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470937361338949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496108239460492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20649459652105398,0.0,0.2169419042194916,0.0,0.0,0.07195389399109188,0.0,0.09216607250274417,0.14792114429151784,0.1420531378709698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126542776940268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563633601517087,0.0,0.06622755615920434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07067520980087763,0.0,0.04194554316440557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04883875438176312,0.07824400064372365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540291746694001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305290292006304,0.073307327166226,0.05110015340596637,0.0,0.3496328121769324,0.13897023856734358
mentalhealth,Paranoiadestroyer,2019/04/15,"New subreddit for people experiencing mental health issues in the UK! Hello all! I'd like to [introduce my new subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthUK/). As someone from the UK who has dealt with mental health issues for years, I've noticed a lack of active UK spaces and would like to try and change that if there is the demand for it. Anyone is welcome to participate but I would prefer it if people who are not from the UK only talk about their specific healthcare processes/systems if relevant to a comments discussion rather than promoting it - just so we dont get swamped out/conflicting information due to uneven population. I'm hoping it can be a sub where people can either ask questions, talk with like minded people, give support, vent or promote their own blogs or work if related to mental health/therapy. Thanks for reading if you got this far 🙂",9.710790322580642,9.453883522580645,9.095282258064518,64.36292338709677,58.935483870967744,11.879032258064516,36.79435483870968,11.20814326018867,4.321661290322581,706,27,109,16,8,225,108,155,0.018000000000000002,0.802,0.18,0.9777,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,1,1,2,3,6,7,0,0,7,0,10,2,0,0,1,26,18,12,0,11,12,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,6,7,19,14,4,8,0,0,0,0,16,4,0,9,7,70,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085427795352152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147262740457332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745506756002765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15228403365850648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788620126699108,0.12464645876717136,0.0,0.0,0.10392169547468698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4143477012544962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905577423200695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27123886782640444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904405105568082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928348043544123,0.0,0.13119832748385918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509860124102452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793300631359213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988221892217795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603250699012302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555806620800765,0.0,0.1299711705251785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009435791678976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744984206258538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887528267747815,0.0,0.11962761870955085,0.14859314917889366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882180202057626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459496135152784,0.0,0.0,0.18460562406843145,0.0,0.0,0.08367452903010872
mentalhealth,Lewis__Sweeney,2019/04/15,"Vent. First post ever and its to do with mental health, must show how great things are going right now.

​

Little background i'm a 18M, live on an island in a house with my mum and dad and two little brothers, 10 and 4 weeks old. I've been dealing with this thing for a long time, the doctors are saying im high-risk depression low-risk self harm but honestly i don't know whats going on in my head. I've only recently sought help because I was starting to abuse substances and alcohol where i'd be getting blacked out myself and just wanted to feel numb but I can't anymore and nothing is ever helping. I broke up with my girlfriend because i know how much of a toll this would take on her and the fact that i got really insecure after I found she was sending messages to a guy she was really close with about, you get the picture, but now we are sort of still together and im just trying to juggle exams, social life (that is completely non existent as she never liked me seeing my friends so when I try to have a social life now she gets mad at me), her, my family and just making sure im okay because im really not.

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I just feel especially with guys theres this stigma to be macho and never show emotion but at the same time theres this wall of arrows just coming at you from every direction and its all too much. I could write forever about how im feeling but I doubt anyone will read this and I should get back to keeping my head in this physics textbook.",5.715527082119976,5.301775085808583,6.354575810522231,81.24906814210834,67.11881188118812,9.109609784507864,30.03475053387692,8.4952907291091,2.0890875169869934,1173,37,237,15,17,385,176,303,0.112,0.818,0.07,-0.9315,0,0,1,0,1,0,29.0,1,2,0,1,23,13,1,2,11,1,20,8,2,4,8,61,41,24,0,5,11,3,3,1,2,4,6,1,0,3,13,23,1,1,6,3,0,4,5,7,0,2,6,6,30,6,34,28,4,41,0,2,2,0,26,17,0,2,20,156,43,4,0.0,0.10266036504545983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259734249152003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877600236436215,0.2105667448634689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592873217922065,0.06058432154745828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666247919328294,0.0,0.15845428494040562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463714689729363,0.09084581837395528,0.0,0.0,0.06917912252548264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932737171332049,0.07462736298789076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868500894189361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097464160697272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675104415299418,0.07300229762032485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168136055803135,0.0,0.13143121290163254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370034230612249,0.0,0.09500196309153357,0.06694184792072112,0.0,0.18107411291293826,0.0,0.0984849003365664,0.0,0.06929806230606274,0.0955266122470693,0.0,0.17158469283191374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17784589508972626,0.09209977020599423,0.0,0.0,0.1161528699262024,0.0915453854243812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997689971445603,0.0,0.0,0.4679582914658459,0.0,0.0,0.07701421339124027,0.0,0.0,0.09523584534824467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240010019501048,0.042330456298154566,0.17368245739062868,0.07650927767923031,0.07667825405302428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05783632768348874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873179580830738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12738834752705305,0.0,0.13365220222571006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313838305103588,0.0,0.09091953675585668,0.0,0.0,0.06589756060687506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298212751517378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666862325431912,0.0,0.1665213549573743,0.0,0.0855516581893201,0.0,0.0,0.07399450674548677,0.0,0.06890372151005035,0.0,0.0,0.06904498715511698,0.0,0.09038981501099283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664769056757454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061327901419264676,0.0,0.06919494934932863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166205282491783,0.0,0.06514638910590513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512640958095445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010469976277786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176527737122132,0.0,0.08463974675844572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051105569609063,0.0,0.06950153370177409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155024694463247,0.0,0.2105667448634689,0.0
mentalhealth,HISreturn2030,2019/04/15,From personal experience Mental health facilities are A JOKE!!! The system fails many of the people who are seeking help.,6.649000000000001,10.051737900000004,7.190000000000001,61.32500000000002,70.0,10.0,30.0,10.125756701596842,4.167999999999998,98,4,13,3,2,32,18,20,0.111,0.632,0.257,0.5732,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,1,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4053861673888687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4405133040355257,0.0,0.0,0.2777796534668764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4201608622790807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.417641891296564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873094020826915,0.3618590282075404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,allydunbar,2019/04/15,"How to get out of a depression funk Little background: I’m a 23 F, with general anxiety, OCD and panic disorder. I’ve been in a depressive mood for the past year due to a curtain event that happened. No matter what I just always feel down and sad. I take medication and see a therapist but nothing is helping. Any suggestions?",2.3585714285714303,4.991110253968255,4.589841269841274,78.18571428571431,81.38095238095238,8.679365079365079,29.63492063492064,9.23628265651192,3.3756730158730166,258,13,46,8,7,89,53,63,0.252,0.731,0.017,-0.8868,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,0,11,8,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,8,7,0,8,0,3,1,0,2,4,0,0,4,27,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820344228665175,0.0,0.0,0.17015847264920414,0.0,0.1914179438697545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4310289789716519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867742905665637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126518967560618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072984707319366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22126909965583666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771747963626235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25078660586773466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25207075844147264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400932508204583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29357976129973,0.0,0.0,0.2388637132212185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993932863567073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188134622849829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29052520466924703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113375295527796
mentalhealth,Alrightm8initbruv,2019/04/15,"I think I have actual depression Gunna sound weird, but ever since I was about 9ish I've had periods of feeling like actual shit for weeks on end for no real reason, tbh I thought this was normal Untill my tutor was saying something about mental health during form. I would go to see a therapist or something but there isn't anything like that available where I live, I was wondering if anybody here who is diagnosed with depression can tell me the types of things they do/talk about to professionals and weather it helps them out at all. Ta",4.944975728155338,6.7906212038834965,5.355521844660196,79.59794296116505,69.97087378640775,8.645145631067964,27.43810679611651,9.188382445141503,2.412748543689321,436,15,77,9,8,139,82,103,0.14800000000000002,0.747,0.105,-0.7003,0,0,2,1,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,0,7,6,1,0,2,0,10,3,1,1,2,17,16,6,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,6,4,11,2,14,9,2,10,0,2,1,0,6,4,1,3,7,54,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.3519148736244916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483805144444213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106030430476153,0.18301177690131454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970194606979385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631015399897999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117061321799198,0.12881414926337093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247484472867616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19166206431955585,0.0,0.0,0.120858601367324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618160435247227,0.0,0.15921783590557756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817109864762849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666640697780514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523328927826048,0.0,0.1853896449697745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339047181527614,0.0,0.0,0.14368444936907834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508655672976296,0.14915504702794247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27762429355235113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492707842503738,0.15759968180254386,0.0,0.0,0.20935486256072405,0.11979055576703446,0.11553594971362588,0.0,0.14314672065082573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463453484045966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955394890282302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12808769622770352,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,barelyawallflower,2019/04/15,So my psychiatrist was late last week and i had to reschedule. well they didnt tell me id be seeing someone different Ive suffered from social anxiety my entire life but I've been doing a lot better in the recent years. Its been slipping up a bit but overall not too bad. I had an appointment last week. But she got helf up and it was going to be two hourd before zhs got there. Well i rescheduled. I just got here and they told me I'd be seeing a different psychiatrist. I am freaking out. I hate this. I hate new people. I hate new psychiatrist. I have a hard time opening up to anyone and i was just getting comfortable with my normal one. Idk why i can't be normal. I'm trying to just remind myself that this is temporary. I've been this way before and gotten better. I can again,0.2499604743083026,2.653034857142856,2.6553952569169965,89.05921936758894,91.73291925465836,5.1632975719932235,18.498306041784307,6.7829847944221076,0.3618298136645963,616,18,124,9,22,210,98,161,0.151,0.7290000000000001,0.119,-0.657,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,2,10,11,3,0,6,0,20,1,0,0,0,18,33,9,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,6,2,2,14,3,22,5,11,15,2,19,0,1,2,0,6,6,0,1,11,86,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932845535793243,0.0,0.0,0.090788253576817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841229805102,0.0,0.0,0.22097124715196947,0.0,0.0,0.2296686568318004,0.14175337961115542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713136370562748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678368679364485,0.0,0.07379196363732209,0.0,0.3115385247698051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163125545950748,0.38457504513094776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116764392182945,0.14646696076396612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171094971846416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038667041534707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508036192923405,0.0,0.0,0.25443436609559344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798401675033808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001580485019209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282028986909572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20693386149868728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235714220588554,0.11001435165265043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134872662614776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571167101888318,0.0,0.0,0.12406919648924053,0.0,0.08815391161418731,0.0,0.12683635955820535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306220470294583,0.20830217140424784,0.0,0.2334863523525255,0.0,0.11716183280215835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361372222222148
mentalhealth,SignalDragonfruit2,2019/04/15,"Just had a surreal experience I was walking around when I suddenly had abdominal pain and pressure that had me squatting down. It felt like something was forcing its way out of me. It was very painful, but I couldn't stop it. Eventually it was over. I took a deep breath and looked behind me. There was a bunch of brown stuff all over the floor that was apparently just inside me. It looked hard, lumpy chocolate, but it didn't taste like chocolate. I saved it in a box to show my wife.

Was this real? Is this the start of a mental illness or spiritual journey? Am I dying?",2.585016233766233,4.917703767857149,3.6576948051948053,86.97366883116884,78.28571428571428,6.572727272727272,25.36038961038961,7.686295010490155,1.3485607142857146,450,17,91,7,11,145,73,112,0.098,0.8,0.103,0.3768,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,7,0,14,5,1,0,1,15,19,6,1,1,5,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,13,4,1,1,1,1,0,3,2,3,0,0,13,6,11,3,11,5,2,16,0,0,3,0,1,8,0,1,6,67,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19512289598474392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274814957550605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144069398992662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21045388841143886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19634849490043185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141673884907985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.368123744465274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22088893773413207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4664608332472711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24948278656928266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874085733933072,0.0,0.0,0.1551416832844022,0.0,0.0,0.18325014245150728,0.0,0.0,0.2509166693657878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435248164968227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085222608052828,0.0,0.1739804343993018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,rbraniga,2019/04/15,"Not being believed Any tips for dealing with Family members not believing your GAD/MDD because “more people get easily stressed than you think?” I’ve been told I’m “less troubled than I like to think”. Despite the fact that’s I’ve been on anti depressants for two years and have had several mental illness Diagnoses including GAD, PTSD, MDD etc and have been in therapy for years because my anxiety interferes with my ability to function daily",9.765,9.179161500000003,9.320000000000004,63.86500000000004,59.0,13.5,43.75,12.602617957971056,5.961875000000001,360,19,55,11,4,116,60,80,0.166,0.7509999999999999,0.083,-0.7357,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,7,2,0,0,1,10,12,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,0,5,1,11,6,3,4,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,33,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135958494064564,0.0,0.15294504575813606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437495788118613,0.0,0.0,0.4505027671929903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611789614602166,0.17219845114614252,0.20292360444825785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22297354970294286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847515458753256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445458789468802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767515183451493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014812869856984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386055118058231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337061614887264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22586272659307785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290178562326979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286360979370673,0.0,0.0,0.25621270670339275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910406123385533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19530146468623105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25749528723068904
mentalhealth,breatheoutbullshit,2019/04/15,"I know I need to love myself before I love someone else, but it’s difficult. I’m finding it hard to love myself right now. I’m constantly battling feelings of loneliness that make me seek out a partner, temporary or permanent. My current significant other is about to move to a different state so we are trying to spend as much time together as possible, but I’m also trying to distance myself so it doesn’t hurt as much when he leaves. I also just had a regular “flirtationship” tell me that he is seeing someone and distanced himself from me because he felt like it was cheating. I understand and I’m happy for him, but it only furthers my feelings of loneliness and wanting to have someone around.

I know I need to love myself and work on myself before I can let someone else into my life but I constantly feel myself wanting to get back on Bumble or booty call an ex just for some attention and physical intimacy. 

I’ve been in therapy for nearly 2 months now for primarily anxiety. They’re teleconference and once a week and they’ve been helping me tremendously. We’re about to start working on regular meditation, and I’ve previously spoken to my therapist about a depressive episode I had caused by loneliness and my alcohol consumption. 

How do you get over feelings of loneliness and the cravings for physical intimacy?",6.295556084782093,7.705659008097173,7.418170993093593,67.75647296975471,66.20647773279352,11.155894260538227,37.20147654203383,11.088447113337141,4.80302210050012,1073,56,172,33,17,363,136,247,0.14,0.748,0.112,-0.7612,2,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,1,0,2,15,11,2,0,7,0,13,6,0,3,0,40,38,25,0,4,8,1,6,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,8,14,1,0,10,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,6,7,29,6,36,31,3,24,0,2,1,4,16,11,0,3,12,123,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118235411001666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769499016116934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463564558947062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848880777676597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507166021314239,0.0,0.06744220730603823,0.0,0.18828485847307452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297093620178128,0.0,0.0,0.11365285367775832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391147523168769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09528995862545228,0.0,0.0,0.11559026437458494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18484307098047728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22376197930727312,0.0,0.1062271675346996,0.0,0.1011185928608304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560467928107103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177732560562142,0.09910743213353053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415646035416879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843729837480715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160445444610908,0.0,0.0,0.11714673059013656,0.0,0.11313201504784733,0.0781449324775573,0.054050783355458765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994104462710397,0.0,0.07384987290656389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883079824155996,0.11758773711984832,0.1626592429265831,0.16406923746103722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782290567268396,0.0,0.08414307530558553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472459483520125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448187908545408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881619516741273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749634741696613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830818288160335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670006456470323,0.0,0.12652102366599047,0.12845602538665668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451229038294967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022811325955124,0.0,0.0,0.11517517273634575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051104631334698,0.0,0.08874490542995822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16108752536674945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CherryBombRedhead,2019/04/15,"Desperate for Advice I'm sorry this is so long. I hate talking about my feelings so this was really hard to write.

Three years ago my childhood home burned down. While my family and I were sleeping it was struck by lightning. When the power came back on (was out for a while due to the storm) it was engulfed in flames. I remember standing there in the aftermath in what was my childhood bedroom for over 15 years and everything was just ruined from either fire or the water from the hoses the firefighters used. Then the ceiling and roof collapsed around me but thankfully it only caused minor fractures and bruises since everything was water damaged and soft I guess. 

​

Since then I've been consumed with PTSD symptoms and a deep depression that nothing seems to help. I lost so much stuff that I can't replace and I'll remember things I had forgotten about that I loved and no longer have and it makes me instantly start sobbing. The only thing that has helped is Xanax when I'm having a panic attack and even though I take the lowest dosage I still have to take nap and sometimes lose time. I really don't want to be dependent on them and then just waste away my life. 

​

Since then I've had to move across the state to help a sick family member and I'm now in a city far away from my friends and boyfriend so on top of everything I'm feeling extremely alone and I know it's contributing to my poor mental health. My psychiatrist has said the symptoms SHOULD start to go away as time passes but they just are not. I'm completely lost and don't know who I am anymore. While my family went through it with me, they have all handled it so much better and moved past it but I haven't at all. Smoke, storms, loud noises, and sirens all trigger a panic reaction even though I know I'm safe. 

​

I feel so incredibly alone and out of my body that I do'nt even know where to begin. Since the fire I've lost 87 pounds because food doesn't taste great and I feel sick afterwards.  I try not to say all this to my friends and loved ones because once I start it all comes out and I cry uncontrollably. I also just feel like burden when I do. If there is anyone that has ever felt like this please drop some advice. I have no clue where to start.",3.6775359854236234,5.575649582022475,3.843911327057395,88.92509565745523,73.40449438202249,7.147889462496204,24.386577588824768,7.917944638633933,1.2020762222897061,1804,55,363,26,37,556,223,445,0.224,0.687,0.08900000000000001,-0.9961,2,2,1,0,1,0,40.0,0,0,3,7,30,24,2,3,18,0,32,15,2,5,6,72,72,47,0,3,12,0,10,2,2,1,7,3,2,0,24,30,4,1,13,1,1,7,9,14,0,2,18,14,41,10,46,52,9,64,0,8,0,2,15,23,1,6,33,237,65,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567255652924334,0.06153651235325343,0.0,0.0,0.14379606640935505,0.0,0.05551503246672775,0.0,0.2256491496512244,0.2530581643590575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884584187331842,0.04853997627428303,0.0,0.0,0.061798388261722036,0.0,0.07897510613245559,0.19566671505472952,0.05337958298609121,0.0,0.08463539779612009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139621985419895,0.0,0.07710980862989852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939781975013233,0.0,0.071313313026901,0.0,0.05979905769410738,0.07278539654909473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625445033084405,0.0,0.0,0.05979121885530956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13755347731061787,0.06279423264808881,0.0,0.0,0.18717026669521847,0.0,0.19632858150101729,0.0,0.17550382103803375,0.04959355783958638,0.06665394669140264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394276347030691,0.0,0.10726721458069337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03945290302514429,0.0,0.0,0.07653563452721229,0.07647379606280334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218655407518326,0.06853773416309097,0.0,0.07379005898686067,0.0,0.0,0.13959199524891644,0.0,0.06963377409177295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152605345924156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04903329613736455,0.06783006863524743,0.0,0.0,0.06143438661059651,0.0,0.07766306013981006,0.2273399145557803,0.0,0.1253082578194647,0.0,0.046338291852440185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699588854907142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475646380007039,0.10206316103976723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661022254112939,0.0,0.0,0.07392987929540623,0.0470406899276238,0.1055938548683818,0.0,0.16289848354271474,0.0,0.0,0.06626910602565811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620215371786714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114809486612383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894427262517304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727832484066312,0.0,0.06603417850177191,0.055205454511654366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631972281998691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296992836314111,0.0,0.06946998856829201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865801104258405,0.07770984349086392,0.19654292092786926,0.0,0.055438785380894265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946912471008774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430761817599466,0.10439018217209073,0.05579704937303931,0.0,0.06391247506123081,0.0,0.0,0.09223893322343174,0.0,0.13640930892836725,0.0,0.08095855069694481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04713152428488331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059956465344538364,0.0,0.0,0.040945628719543034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435290049772359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530581643590575,0.08940822040236926
mentalhealth,AdmirablePiglet,2019/04/15,"I want to help a friend with mental health problems but don't know how *throw-away account, because people know my name, and I don't want it to be awkward.*

Hey there kind people,

So a good friend of mine has different mental health problems and I kinds know how to deal with them and help her.  
But a thing were im completely lost is **self-hate**, which causes **self-harm**.

I don't really know, how to help her, when she got triggered to hate and harm herself. *(different things cause her to hate herself, i don't know them but can assume a few things)*

We have a really good friendship with a lot of trust on booth ends (it even got a bit flirty the last few months) so I fell really with her and just want to help and support her. So when anybody got an idea **how to help a friend that harms himself**, please let me know!

additional Info: We see each other a lot, but I don't live near her.",-0.07204844878878093,2.2665349889502795,1.2719613259668527,98.3425191245219,94.13812154696129,4.331576710582236,15.801317467063324,6.093298490706669,-0.5803125371865705,687,16,153,7,26,217,94,181,0.127,0.593,0.28,0.9841,2,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,2,0,2,1,12,17,2,1,11,0,12,2,0,7,0,43,29,19,0,5,5,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,8,14,0,0,9,0,1,1,5,8,0,0,5,1,24,9,16,22,6,8,0,1,1,0,25,2,0,3,5,98,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358121422123576,0.0,0.0,0.06071765928335985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874174459634232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046414410748341,0.0,0.0,0.10443287379869244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268732566760112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20812991060395414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821955871608421,0.0,0.0,0.06578748676534127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308613543546492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670861787925543,0.2389871958281932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966766104646972,0.0,0.21174873760768806,0.0,0.0,0.3338122277798934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244076507459637,0.107589386215965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074444270776058,0.3284384420675676,0.08119053441152499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185181384328934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879521356438665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087295058800941,0.16935947705900975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007547614203333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950294337165405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810571130656088,0.0,0.0,0.10933525514336924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906151064563704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914265726075113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937147310755999,0.0,0.20781733959119555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302941161254952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985173674121133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176247017097388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Firedrakeer,2019/04/15,"Damaged brain and body I threw my life away as a teenager. Diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety way before my life even started. The past several years have felt like a downward spiral, adding mild schizophrenia, borderline amnesia, bipolar and dissociative disorder, failing lungs and other symptoms of a long history of drug abuse. Now I have trouble when it comes to interacting with people. Not just strangers or friends or coworkers. Trying to talk to my own mother or my former closest friends feels like a battle. Let alone trying to set up psychiatric help for myself. Thoughts don't form strings in my head anymore, everything flows in and out of my brain with no real bearing. I don't even know what it is i want or need. I can't ask for help because i can't answer the subsequent ""how"" or ""what"". 

I feel like an idiot who doesn't do anything but complain about the damage I've done to myself. I walked out on a good job, i have $4 in my account, no gas in my car, and can't reach out for help without getting upset or just not responding.

Am I just fucked?",6.075786116322703,6.817528263414638,6.2165853658536605,78.57947467166981,66.36585365853661,9.23452157598499,34.30581613508443,9.265573868473778,3.1092251407129448,854,38,155,15,13,272,130,205,0.185,0.7040000000000001,0.111,-0.9341,1,1,1,0,1,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,9,16,3,1,9,0,14,12,5,1,0,36,27,16,0,2,13,1,3,3,2,0,6,0,0,0,6,13,0,0,6,0,1,5,11,10,0,0,4,3,20,6,27,22,2,26,0,4,0,1,12,12,1,6,10,103,26,2,0.0,0.1549206995145425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542047863223625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002554210102013,0.0,0.12967165362901042,0.0,0.0,0.10759842213129718,0.0,0.12223622743015318,0.0,0.12284656952843695,0.0,0.0,0.07970569964099272,0.0,0.11126101128556973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14523689628858513,0.0,0.2919267580051693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263196854967505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261720403867792,0.13271135027235906,0.0,0.0,0.14985404865739133,0.0,0.0,0.1338055214870796,0.0,0.0,0.1516317488413766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17272199627402748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175121950342901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13222509928246914,0.18681966780908696,0.12554320280196582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020385940003606,0.12087886632978767,0.06831294683207499,0.0,0.0,0.1096692538726568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419010569897058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629225580625102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975198887285225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185832513685059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370360744964307,0.18470915366864574,0.19163765580541045,0.0,0.0,0.11571212268910268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969515521789966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481835255461747,0.09064753544545126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14882532371478208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29542691698054313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254751221100946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13590223440493096,0.0,0.10509415620387123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038031262593288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17754515089880174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771213952864794,0.10378549488553176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126041043339995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420052302458265
mentalhealth,WakuWakuBookworm,2019/04/15,"How to make the most of therapy? Hello, I'm 22 years old, female and living in the US. I've recently started going to therapy sessions, but I'm not sure what exactly to make of it. Half the time, it feels like I'm just complaining to the psychologist rather than focusing on my issues with understanding people, getting past my anxiety, and not automatically picturing the worst possible scenario when things go wrong.

Does anyone here who is or has been in therapy have advice for how I can get more out of my sessions? I've tried writing reflections after each appointment, but it doesn't seem to help since all I'm doing is going in circles with my negative thoughts.",9.218333333333334,7.94297384920635,9.550793650793654,63.991428571428614,60.5079365079365,13.47936507936508,40.04761904761904,12.45797560212912,5.1762,539,24,92,16,6,181,87,126,0.18,0.797,0.024,-0.9703,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,0,8,0,0,4,3,27,24,8,0,1,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,2,1,6,2,18,22,5,16,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,9,63,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15995081757508225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521836559885405,0.0,0.0,0.114452164664166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432416047539158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276391447384185,0.11693639931063235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103702458147652,0.0,0.2790774017686652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097144199642102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708443249071374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996808796068669,0.0,0.14453660986234218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185216481929565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717595827795082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625559007564074,0.11347837757859885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845299318799804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161891757269833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901242488003524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354016949084899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585688990916655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542709149496687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5615632404174713,0.0,0.1087448571676414,0.0,0.0,0.12994738684962426,0.09544587870192384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111311828387638,0.0,0.0,0.17040157001419667,0.1968925686318637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17896354969774442,0.0,0.10540759544255836
mentalhealth,GeneralEntrepreneur0,2019/04/15,"Mania and delusions? I'm 28M and I've been on antidepressants for over a month. I'm objectively a worthless piece of garbage. I have autism. I've tried to end it three times.

Earlier this morning I felt really happy and creative, and I think it may have been mania and delusions. It really doesn't make sense for me to have felt that way given my circumstances, and it's at best narcissistic considering how much my actions have hurt everyone around me.

How can I know for sure?",3.1337634408602177,5.550781086021509,4.300215053763441,82.63698924731183,76.84946236559139,8.004301075268819,25.387096774193548,8.841846274778883,2.075851612903227,383,14,74,9,9,125,61,93,0.067,0.785,0.149,0.8279,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,3,1,16,17,8,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,5,2,8,3,10,11,3,9,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,47,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22357030996793076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635588420224345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224379504087881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399776784799231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4822728857999369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673461478191618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688535287119851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802149801437288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676397486122045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20045976235236407,0.0,0.1846188322366108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217769776853394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366990878404956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092214581781222,0.0,0.0,0.14644336837083416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050945485837488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993454404758751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,soulchomp,2019/04/15,"Experience with suicidal ideation? Hi all.  I've had pretty severe suicidal ideation even as a small child; I'd constantly put myself in danger on the off chance that it'd finally happen.  Unfortunately the older I get the stronger my ideation is becoming, and I'm not sure what to do.  I'm bipolar II with depression/anxiety/PTSD, and I'm 30...On Lamotragine as a mood stabilizer, and just got off imipramine because of the side effects.  Just weighing me down quite a bit in this stage of life.

Does anybody have experience dealing with the strengthening ideation?  What do you normally do to help the feelings?  I'm a big gamer and fantasy reader, and it keeps me out of my head quite a bit.",3.913589743589746,6.3443551538461564,4.882692307692313,79.35147435897437,74.38461538461539,8.948717948717949,32.371794871794876,9.516144504307137,3.422025641025642,550,28,101,15,12,179,84,130,0.146,0.754,0.1,-0.8021,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,3,3,3,1,0,11,0,7,4,1,1,2,18,16,7,2,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,9,1,1,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,7,1,17,13,3,15,0,0,0,0,5,10,0,0,3,57,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244348559688757,0.1856012203971603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669404742481168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160547870134847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17325515660803456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470642217865148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099735286975533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287759582398498,0.0,0.0,0.0849725936470178,0.0,0.0,0.1840937332178958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780070203754202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440725286312066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14860862093810984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17247075456756006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264231379224585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937313553751633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11870073036618495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646561570811198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097021134848844,0.0,0.0,0.1964448423260962,0.16893957701102014,0.0,0.3574898818922024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18985193813582726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676451842915883,0.0,0.1583878656647515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sammagee33,2019/04/15,"How do I help my wife? I’m really struggling. My wife is going through hell at her job right now. I’m afraid she’s going to be fired because of personal vendettas. Even if she isn’t, she hates the place now.

I’m not sure how I can support her other than just being there to listen and be near her to show her I love her and I’m with her through this.

I’m terrified! I have mental health issues and this is (obviously) affecting that. I’m worried that a downward spiral from her could trigger one from me...and that would be awful for our family. 

I don’t want to have to move again but I’m afraid that she won’t be able to find a replacement job here. It would devastate our kids - we just moved less than 3 years ago and they are finally making some great friendships again. It would hurt so much to take that away from them.",2.090877192982454,3.8509760994152074,3.2092163742690083,92.35873684210527,77.47953216374269,6.665263157894738,21.341520467836254,7.554174236665415,0.5852320467836254,647,17,144,9,15,208,103,171,0.152,0.755,0.092,-0.8664,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,3,0,2,0,12,10,2,3,3,1,19,2,0,5,2,25,35,9,0,6,5,2,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,2,10,6,0,0,1,1,0,4,4,6,0,1,0,2,23,4,20,25,3,17,1,1,0,1,23,6,1,2,7,98,33,2,0.15965597410528393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14152538795408745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000204322520086,0.0,0.0,0.09732479994140532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747230399821835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545126514518677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505094433686417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489531570997724,0.14592266792038436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18147233871479987,0.0,0.0,0.17602127508617732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762722075055552,0.0,0.16970683462398606,0.0,0.0,0.10701403403927526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091502236310427,0.0,0.0,0.16663935704161215,0.3168678379571029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440957500154211,0.0,0.10657160246423364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089567041225802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393780674710265,0.1173655112192094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818701998282672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940543837073507,0.16680651189812729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022797052367091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363453295404906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690708916327324,0.0,0.0,0.1811757074057848,0.15047386614338767,0.0,0.12004142309603864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941692300709496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16213839158932386,0.0,0.3402450697521417,0.0,0.0,0.10281321279707588
mentalhealth,FightinSweathog,2019/04/15,"Good Music? Music for me, like so many others helps us feel less alone and better in tough times. I’ve been feeling so alone and scared to talk to anyone about my feelings because I don’t want to burden anyone, so I turn to music. 

If you have songs that help make you feel better when you’re feeling down, please drop them here! I, and I’m sure a lot of other people could use them right now. Thanks 

-For me my go to songs are; It gets better by griz, gotta push on by griz, and survivor by Destiny’s child (lol)",2.0338836967808898,3.581393925233648,2.83171339563863,95.93600207684321,77.03738317757009,4.755555555555556,17.496365524402908,3.1291,-0.8797946002076841,398,6,89,0,9,125,77,107,0.105,0.626,0.269,0.9544,0,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,2,2,3,8,10,0,1,1,1,5,0,0,2,1,16,19,9,0,3,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,4,4,0,0,5,2,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,7,12,7,15,16,2,10,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,2,4,50,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448439331974882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328118807935283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148401201971023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4417112609542622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291988104700694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4208837518938297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697837104038977,0.0,0.09461381381962976,0.1396346299993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231746383914051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813331972191993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153443502571492,0.0,0.0,0.11112598014022593,0.1687835076022518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115415530108114,0.0,0.0,0.1827438751445521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217209868655295,0.0,0.0,0.16667445386666305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569044236365406,0.0,0.0,0.1338094597931333,0.0,0.15327143384964909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707520429949124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810812728763155,0.0,0.0,0.20025365772660134,0.14378434574956075,0.0,0.0,0.09819358767920128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IPeedMyselfTwice,2019/04/15,"Idk what to do anymore (m/16) Im German so excuse my English

Okay so i am delusional for like 3 weeks, I don’t know who I really am why I am and if I’m in the right universe, I’m just feeling sad and I’m feeling like I’m about to loose someone very important in my life. I didn’t told anyone that I’m sad because I want no one to worry about me, but I could still use some emotional support, and I thought reddit would be great!

 So everytime i would wake up I would be confused, where am I, who am I and what am I doing here? And this happens everyday, but at somepoint of the day I’m getting back into my normal „universe“ (I feel like I’m switching universes all the time and realities)

I already asked my mom yesterday if we could go to a psychologist but she said it’s a phase and it‘ll stop soon and I hope she is right! 

I really don’t wanna feel like this anymore it’s just too much! 

A thing that supports that is that I always think everyone secretly hates me and they are just pretending to be my friends so they won’t make me mad or to make fun of me behind my back. It sucks.

If you know anything how to deal with this pls tell me!",0.649221311475408,2.638807643442629,2.86967868852459,91.87204262295084,83.22131147540983,6.1990819672131146,22.874754098360647,7.404127859558343,0.8743719999999993,891,32,201,14,25,303,133,244,0.108,0.701,0.191,0.9612,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,2,0,17,17,3,1,6,1,24,2,1,4,1,48,54,21,0,12,10,1,4,4,1,5,1,1,0,0,16,12,0,1,9,1,0,1,5,6,0,1,4,5,35,11,20,40,3,19,0,2,0,0,17,8,1,7,14,136,51,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437298772382178,0.0,0.10131995532536298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415204237974291,0.08514236533307218,0.0,0.10020392192820643,0.0,0.1138357714508419,0.0,0.0,0.18726271847548207,0.0,0.07422807459307505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944421914132375,0.0,0.0,0.07852968547133178,0.12553650057302246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697156236152538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635365190861055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24627635355622934,0.2609712536251509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407693485966112,0.0,0.06361826740074368,0.0,0.06920303099935372,0.0,0.0,0.1342486226011377,0.0,0.0,0.107678216295514,0.0,0.0,0.12021977036495918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094217383605455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152932902422468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338399924325701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600768137219024,0.23795695538357164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256092716309262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261211863149992,0.0,0.0,0.08951280584885697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930587327065505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251251679040242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560142038666192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079768218920995,0.1158283662665472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317284176378176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09724333798289646,0.10180272141022054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763596520489399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642978473543104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089662947160428,0.07802342058425596,0.0,0.09666945066258603,0.07100335671082005,0.0,0.0,0.11635365190861055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516765083688266,0.0,0.10047058377030367,0.07182137171910184,0.0,0.09767419725926664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987583942336054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366036850360215,0.0,0.2594994948121474,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,StoneIsHorrible,2019/04/15,Have you ever seen something that isnt there? I'm just curious about the general experience. I was just wondering if the experience is different for everyone and if anyone could describe what it's like? Also is it always very clearly right there? Or is it sometimes like. A faded image? And does your body react even if you know it in your head?..,2.980649350649351,5.64961896969697,4.714415584415587,78.05590909090911,79.0,8.013852813852813,26.095238095238088,8.841846274778883,2.53721471861472,276,11,48,7,7,93,49,66,0.0,0.835,0.165,0.8821,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,0,8,2,0,0,3,0,7,2,2,1,2,15,11,7,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,3,8,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,5,4,37,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18843104545262807,0.19606076722235632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475606820712424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617287824427045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881292046885288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461803500523605,0.0,0.0,0.2061990148651423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562959186366035,0.2131383587565497,0.0,0.22515195737176408,0.0,0.4609773735369303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24182156103544986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294945873056229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23023116763416285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20122440408550532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18139738681313256,0.2330413984213376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944171774852013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555277268760169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,aligray98,2019/04/15,"I feel like going down Hello everyone, I felt like there were some things I needed to get off my chest. I don't really know where to start but here we go. I'm just a regular 20 years old dude living in some country. I don't really want to reveal where I'm from and I don't know why. Since I was a kid, always felt like I needed to get the fuck out of here ASAP. So in order to do that, I learned English and started saving up some money. I would like to point out that I was only 12 or 13 at the time I started. Socially, I'm not so acceptable because I have tattoos and clearly I'm an atheist for the society's standards, which is true. This never had an impact on my view and the way I treat others though. Anyways, long story short, I lost my father when I was 16 and had to drop out of school and start working. I'm pretty sure you guys have heard of this story before. When this happened I lost all of my savings for moving to another cheaper city in the country.  

Before we moved out of the city, depression hit me hard and since I was under a lot of stress, my anxiety got worse and eventually developed derealization/depersonalization. It's something rare that occurs when you are under a lot of stress or smoking too much pot may cause it too. Eventually, I was put to mental hospital and started getting treated. I didn't respond much to pills and therapy so thy did ECT on me. It actually worked, after this I was kind of enjoying life more and I started realizing that I was stronger than most considering the things I went through. After I was all fine and set we moved out to the ''cheaper'' city. 

It's still where I live and it's actually my home city, where my mother and father comes from. This city oh my god.. full of dumb bummers that get on my way constantly because I should be more ''manly'' and muslim? I just don't feel like I belong here or any other part of the country. I will try to immigrate some other countries that I can be a part of but I don't know where to start. Maybe you guys can guide me on that. 

After we moved here, my mom found out that I'm no longer muslim and started hating on me so badly. Things got to a point where she called the police on me and wanted me out of the house. At first, police tried to calm her down and convince her to not to do something like this but she was so persistent. After the failed efforts of the police, I got kicked out of my own house because everything was registered under my moms name. I had little to no money and had to sleep in the hospital. I actually made a post about this on exmuslim subreddit back then with a different account at the time that it happened. Long story short, I got my own room and lived away from her for some time but one day she called me and said that she ''forgave'' me and that I could come live with her again. I declined and told her some mean things which I regret to this day for not keeping my cool. Eventually, my uncles contacted me that she was in a bad condition, health-wise and I should go home. So I did, it was heartbreaking at first to see her like that but I got used to it because I don't have much love for her. 

Now I live with her having literally no love in my heart for her. I even sometimes she would be dead but I don't know man. Shit is tougher than I can understand. And now I can't even leave even if I can because I feel like she is a responsibility over my shoulders that I need to take care of. So far, I'm really unhappy and unsatisfied with life but don't really have any suicidal thoughts nor feeling depressed and dark about future. I'm aware of the potential that I have but I just don't know where to start. I hope everything goes well for me and for you guys on whatever you are struggling with. Everybody in here have a special place in my heart. 

Thank you for reading all the stupid things I wrote.

  
TL;DR: Had mental problems, got treated, mom kicked me out of home, eventually got back to her because she was sick. And I'm very unhappy about where my life is at right now.",3.6556954137587248,4.743462455882356,4.814192422731806,85.18085742771689,72.11274509803921,7.983183781987371,26.085410435360583,8.388109219054641,1.5557085659687613,3148,100,663,50,59,1038,311,816,0.151,0.753,0.096,-0.9953,1,0,2,0,1,1,73.0,4,6,0,9,45,47,5,3,30,1,61,14,6,3,7,125,137,54,2,14,18,6,7,8,0,6,5,2,4,6,41,49,0,1,19,1,3,11,19,18,1,3,41,12,113,29,108,85,22,112,0,7,2,3,53,57,3,15,46,470,154,6,0.0,0.0,0.1491478161739003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042391146184489525,0.0,0.0,0.06929004256011116,0.053421314223925466,0.03897354410569897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047865436119456164,0.07834864561780865,0.08507554989083364,0.18633722158465416,0.0,0.08670257295288576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404310699249823,0.0,0.05194283377791168,0.05233556706158956,0.0,0.08777092134225364,0.0,0.05505451799202952,0.0,0.04067622875553965,0.0,0.0,0.06571189981178137,0.0,0.08775941577460647,0.0,0.0,0.053227717889030274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094804084658186,0.0,0.0,0.04868107818758997,0.09157394441313796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030392963741444,0.10918747967118328,0.09783228261100772,0.0,0.0,0.08666926880725133,0.0,0.055859650164153236,0.0,0.04709874827364543,0.10646871150815752,0.0,0.08686134318011321,0.0,0.2852231442437145,0.0,0.0,0.15133362411489842,0.09010274418716764,0.0,0.04563760163411875,0.0502986192941108,0.0,0.05415320669688591,0.0,0.12074249061154735,0.0,0.0,0.15330895028072133,0.050600864898632116,0.0,0.11756966826391492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04528313813428467,0.0,0.053052410439696496,0.13999292307030353,0.0,0.0,0.05394444905210392,0.0,0.0,0.10795398149346107,0.19911710479714229,0.05106126754529973,0.22493121965048832,0.09017119872508646,0.0,0.0,0.11122713594418572,0.08662492037374088,0.09196149291237797,0.048206329046027036,0.0,0.0,0.05118209613869528,0.05549512014888045,0.0,0.0,0.1026831537548171,0.0,0.0,0.1790019887742983,0.0,0.2165901058359687,0.11235349717449546,0.11332742164440306,0.039292689419499816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053459248114438564,0.0,0.034522322380421605,0.03874672230324863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103390884392348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053227717889030274,0.0,0.0963208584666765,0.0,0.048792177151209384,0.051830388841218114,0.0,0.04874843352599028,0.0,0.05121479290508872,0.0,0.0,0.050959778278797586,0.0,0.1305492269855166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04350759843656666,0.048461304497700204,0.0,0.0,0.05156006334546764,0.04059735928148419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05229532823298031,0.08428610137602244,0.0,0.05098278415577494,0.05193302262555922,0.0,0.07844142661299415,0.05038688834830962,0.0,0.3245385154570969,0.0,0.04068553467738038,0.0,0.11671692242967435,0.05325981194959373,0.0,0.05572664590849141,0.0,0.048015994133631085,0.0,0.0383050453537204,0.0,0.0,0.046904224227774204,0.05826118134742647,0.0,0.16923126519109402,0.0,0.05005417805054603,0.040445426584057774,0.08912105214374398,0.0,0.0,0.04868107818758997,0.0,0.0691779681865564,0.0,0.0,0.05303657393120791,0.0,0.0440009793351108,0.0,0.04203577854106881,0.060098531586163635,0.08087711353502006,0.0,0.0,0.045806564789005404,0.04722744459138993,0.04597083324979731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417857725350613,0.0,0.05191831784760178,0.07238114139876795,0.0,0.0,0.032807548241100964
mentalhealth,MatPatsNaeNae,2019/04/15,"Need help but cant talk to anybody about it First of all, let me start this post by disclosing something. I don't believe I have it worse than anybody else, not even close, but I still need help. 

Firstly, my mother died about 10 months ago. This wasn't the first time iv'e dealt with death because my grandfather died 1 year before her, and my other grandfather died 3 years before I was born (Great start, I know). So, i'm just about to enter ''real'' puberty and for the last 10 months iv'e been trying to convince myself that everything i felt was just angst, but now i'm unsure and want to ask for help here. I'm 14 and I've been struggling. I started getting bad grades and lost all motivation. I feel like there's no point, and whatever I do it wont matter, my 18 year old brother will outshine me in everyday, earn the respect of my entire family and ill be recognized as a college dropout who wasted everybody's time. I feel like ill dissapoint everybody and I should just skip that. You know what that means already. But im still determined to some point to not do it. I feel like if i did talk about it to anybody (Especially my brother) they would just think im being a edgy teen and doing the ''fad of wanting to die''. I need help and would really appreciate if you would help me, kind viewer",3.989380207274941,5.252976899613903,4.761064824222721,85.20744157691526,71.50965250965253,8.078114204429994,26.758992074781556,8.532816995589336,1.7381768339768335,1023,34,209,17,19,330,147,259,0.17800000000000002,0.6609999999999999,0.161,-0.8411,0,0,1,0,0,1,28.0,0,2,1,7,15,10,0,1,6,0,21,2,0,1,2,47,43,18,5,11,12,3,4,3,0,6,2,0,0,0,13,12,0,0,9,0,0,1,7,3,0,3,8,5,28,7,22,26,3,27,0,1,1,0,16,4,0,3,24,126,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550330600163847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644269230879824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017426939394108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053756164049024,0.0587992887441358,0.0,0.16415559635035618,0.10867400229913264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4004285279969889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057744205801508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370893535295488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668932733669643,0.0,0.0909310702378016,0.0,0.1463146643267159,0.2067266890586425,0.0926138414776538,0.0,0.0,0.2461388114866227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039479866350932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634417728199083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232654519165952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20838021295892106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044511687426663,0.10602048353938882,0.07862532469960165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863381233681412,0.0,0.1413720462740461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529420413614288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506994466616844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398210598015286,0.0,0.0,0.21456491830979812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012153902218796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18236607547007366,0.0,0.09237913783529092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978917719761656,0.061792820786676014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425730705377052,0.0,0.0,0.20481827212697448,0.0,0.15406136127996375,0.0,0.0,0.10083779401615084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505695737659975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061805747500377935,0.0,0.0,0.1124896987003856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548796786077482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378566928651974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829791824530563,0.2055608448429339,0.0,0.0,0.18634542653898573
mentalhealth,Backpk,2019/04/15,"hearing voices due to stress induced psychosis should start off by saying that i have got combat related PTSD however this is not linked to that   


  
this might be long but bare with me i was getting exploding head syndrome for almost a year then i noticed one day i was hearing voices and sounds like my grandmother calling my name a rifle being cocked birds active on the other side of the country etc   


  
i went to my doctor and he made my feel better by saying that since i immediately realised i was hearing voices that i will always know they are hallucinations and wont ever go full talking to myself mass murdering people crazy and that he feels that its just stressed induced and that it will dissipate once my life starts getting better   


  
he referred me to a specialist psychologist specialising in veterans but i never got a response but the audio hallucinations are getting more frequent now and have gone from vague sounds to more vocal murmurs   


  
my main fear is that i'll one day wake up and suddenly i got a voice in my head 24/7 that wont shut up i think in a way it would be worse knowing its not real   


  
any way i'm not sure what to do i also have a strict no antipsychotics policy on myself because i actually was at med school before the army i dropped out over a girl dumping me any way i personally don't agree with antipsychotics i feel like they are not to help the patient but make them bearable to the rest of society and not actually treating the root cause of issues kind of like putting a poster over a hole in dry wall   


any advice is appreciated",7.689685430463573,7.2024260728476825,7.830190397350992,72.54243791390728,63.10596026490066,10.463907284768213,35.10016556291391,9.827888789773867,3.326164900662252,1262,49,228,22,16,411,174,302,0.125,0.794,0.081,-0.9021,1,0,0,1,0,0,1.0,0,0,3,2,4,13,2,3,17,0,25,6,4,6,3,44,48,14,1,2,10,0,3,3,0,7,2,12,0,2,17,11,0,0,10,0,0,4,10,5,0,2,10,15,31,8,32,28,6,39,0,0,0,1,17,18,1,2,16,154,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.20208053029623274,0.0,0.0,0.10117825086558248,0.0,0.0,0.10368051885699496,0.0,0.0,0.08280103250680396,0.08615371167257317,0.0,0.0,0.21123258813965565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311712353174719,0.0,0.08810505428355535,0.0,0.0,0.18314572360159365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572608490390498,0.0,0.0,0.10636427086028084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354968146420745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597774620430422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547465353181552,0.0,0.09365800698847514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651147145416693,0.15705905530594494,0.07396911453244259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16228638817945595,0.0,0.05884426182819288,0.0,0.248431585466732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125241611651112,0.0,0.3500918729241474,0.0,0.06940079003659963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806903163406067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078211486111923,0.1138059337004915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731334805544603,0.15175348374438902,0.0,0.0,0.091629787766553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979722075772558,0.06911386411028836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150097818061134,0.0,0.0,0.10983975270109148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985655826230448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788116406131816,0.0,0.11026689649207808,0.14032299082862265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178171345749597,0.09040727830871924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103291202976718,0.10408646376563392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178513755461362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467858994091353,0.0,0.10478817468045584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564949440565066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657252334747622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372098182614248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758538012294682,0.0,0.0,0.08322166255941119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634435693480027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465560906308621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598277023818176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551627377331686,0.07355196247185755,0.0,0.0,0.0666764715336249
mentalhealth,sriracha_n_honey,2019/04/15,"After 6 months of medical leave to beat a benign brain tumour, I’m finally going back to work tomorrow to a brand new job. My mom shredded me for it verbally, and I’m having a major panic attack wondering if she is right and if I’ll be able to pull of off So I’m starting a new job tomorrow and I’m low key freaking out. 

You see, I have just recovered from a benign brain tumour. It was hell, I was at home for almost 6 months, in an out of the hospital. But I did it! I finally beat Timmy the Tumour and got approved to go back to work. 

Before this, I worked full-time from home for the last year or so. While sure it has some awesome perks, for people like me who already live with major depression and social anxiety, it was super isolating. I stopped getting dressed or showering regularly, I would just wear the same pair of pjs for 3 days, because fuck, who’s gonna see me, right? I hated being cooped up at my crappy apartment under insane neighbours 24/7. The complete lack of social interaction or need to make myself presentable did a number on my depression. It was hard. Now, I’m going to have to go back to the real world. I’m scared my social anxiety is going to crush me. To top it off, my Mom called me when she found out about my new position only to tell me I’m crazy to be quitting my work from home job (the pay and the management were SHIT, they treated me like I wasn’t even human. Verbal abuse and harassment from my boss was a daily.) She just went off on how I’m always switching jobs, I’m going to be tired, have no desire to get out of bed, coworkers are generally annoying and how I couldn’t even find something that paid better, I just traded what I had in for a major downgrade. 

Thing is, I was actually somewhat excited about starting this job. Sure, the pay could be better but it’s a huge, rapidly growing company with many open positions and tons of opportunities to grow into bigger, higher paying roles. Plus after working random admin and accounting jobs just to pay bills over the last 2 years, this will finally be something a lot closer to my college education. I was excited to go back to public health. 
But my Mom kind of crushed me, even tho I’m a grown ass woman who should no longer be believing in her trash talk. 
Yet here I am, full blown panic attack. Wondering if I made a terrible mistake or how I’m going to survive working there. 

Vent over, thank you for listening.",4.690614604989605,5.456834128898129,5.997343425155925,78.83690910862786,69.45738045738045,9.006262993762993,28.752663721413718,9.188382445141503,2.3915306133056133,1900,66,364,36,32,641,245,481,0.16399999999999998,0.753,0.083,-0.9879,7,1,2,0,1,0,56.0,0,2,1,16,25,32,8,3,23,0,34,9,5,6,2,63,73,29,0,11,15,3,1,2,1,4,3,1,5,2,17,19,0,1,4,0,8,13,4,17,0,0,17,4,42,15,67,43,10,72,1,3,2,2,26,30,4,14,31,236,59,20,0.06634639939944938,0.07860963424483182,0.06474451523068996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643633528101138,0.0,0.07321490154502608,0.0,0.05520551919958388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015096278849957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15095721478815158,0.0,0.2040651432773904,0.0,0.040444149268889035,0.0,0.05645589924571528,0.07474967239415899,0.0,0.11735599737170885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481290476029107,0.06774709175898977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956293747725062,0.0,0.0,0.052972201264806416,0.0,0.0,0.04278793891196733,0.0,0.11428811316882875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314635132266231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180377126671437,0.0606394070847276,0.0,0.0,0.07274540245263564,0.0,0.06133617715315408,0.0693265106791229,0.0,0.3016495018566499,0.0,0.05306327645866943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059433342100977275,0.06550333366946283,0.0,0.07052312006410942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996525444571989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3950313839194981,0.0,0.0,0.06908956531551584,0.0,0.10816234129303816,0.0,0.07025125730019839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06482699892098095,0.0,0.05858508619209859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640533619971714,0.0,0.06277856730058479,0.044286736787367005,0.06726483551188668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683701739971924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233112303334202,0.1059141260381367,0.0,0.0,0.04919501448251745,0.0,0.192233297911713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050459426426539666,0.0,0.155686409129851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045996239552826536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056756250104115,0.0,0.07551672759190915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133189251531246,0.0,0.0,0.06642432002180443,0.0,0.10573898084814752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810362556015659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028953969659401,0.0,0.10215339929899904,0.0,0.0,0.09392064595594783,0.0,0.0,0.055468560693048105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506139251319226,0.0,0.0,0.053326722680335184,0.05798967741104625,0.06108285064713349,0.0,0.0,0.04407759969035768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625542616004001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615037769394217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389968000157294,0.2898058136676137,0.0,0.0,0.047130578562175264,0.0,0.0,0.0854498119221913
mentalhealth,rs_alli,2019/04/15,"What do you do when you feel yourself slipping? What do you personally do whenever you feel your mental health slipping? Whether this is anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self harm, etc. what are your personal strategies to stop it before it happens?",6.921428571428571,10.220629000000006,6.205000000000003,69.27750000000003,68.52380952380952,9.914285714285716,39.07142857142857,10.125756701596842,5.1706,206,12,28,6,4,63,30,42,0.234,0.7659999999999999,0.0,-0.8919,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,6,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,4,9,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,9,1,2,0,1,0,0,9,0,0,0,2,22,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012976023057042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22390855706909146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22663784344665835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30157557816652475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692528603107585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29346515089983904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660979874851713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326894664346024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797002663058896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26517825261123945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4595187733384648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745072574379705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199926943581956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NaiveRazzmatazz,2019/04/15,"I want to end my life because my daughter got a B in math. This is extreme but I can't get the thought of doom out of my head. I called my 11 year old daughter's teacher today and asked what she got on her math test. She got a B after she had studied for two hours last night.

I want her to become a famous neurosurgeon but she's not working hard enough or pushing herself.

I finally snapped. I started sobbing uncontrollably until I was gasping for air. I smashed four glasses on the floor. I took a nap. I drank three espressos in 20 minutes and then crab walked in the nude around my house. I've completely lost it, and I held a knife to my arm.

My husband is a sociopath and narcissist and he left me for another woman. He was trying to poison me to collect life insurance. He is mentally ill and I found out he was french kissing our daughter behind my back to get her ready for boys. He looked at her in the most disgusting way I saw his eyes turn into slits like a snake's. He told his secret other wife that I was going to die in 8 days and she drove around putting up posters of my funeral to celebrate it. These people are sick. My husband programmed the GPS on my phone to send directions to my brain to an open grave that he wants to bury me in. I can't walk three steps without hearing ""turn left. Go straight to hell."" I'm trying to get a divorce but he says no to signing anything.

Sorry to go on about my drama but I'm tired of the insanity in my life. Am I clinically depressed?",1.6521715526601533,3.735636133550489,3.1606091205211766,90.62927415852337,80.17263843648209,5.917437567861023,25.868512486427804,7.03164865440522,1.1047429750271442,1171,48,248,14,30,384,177,307,0.184,0.747,0.069,-0.9918,0,0,0,0,1,1,26.0,1,0,0,2,5,11,3,1,15,0,12,16,5,0,0,29,41,14,3,3,7,6,1,1,0,0,8,2,0,2,8,13,2,1,3,2,0,11,5,9,0,4,17,6,46,2,47,24,2,50,2,5,3,2,38,24,2,2,15,150,54,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402739618216857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733475676214208,0.21058940795945755,0.11057628196366563,0.0,0.0,0.09095038798225803,0.0,0.07210268267359443,0.13063149716310407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204013320995014,0.12077759447186172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240148327368456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628112439986227,0.0,0.10187480397213786,0.0,0.1227564639993238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476139763598552,0.1222153540448194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957048416566735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296884410680394,0.0,0.0,0.1853900066162151,0.0,0.20166456741137773,0.0,0.2837991145777723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595607728691524,0.0,0.12138989623990287,0.0,0.13331069714838648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648244685872901,0.13647979309954927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641437775876324,0.0,0.0,0.25702417487051576,0.0,0.2506350026509725,0.05778586787429951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932581336946482,0.0,0.12911711604596834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919890381767745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099821779478576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411546667866888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200079182298953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890455153164894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09406138500332877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240531342060538,0.08371953242035314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390148893886836,0.0,0.13594601181997135,0.11211606471926017,0.1130220672901986,0.13141396521070278,0.16060936335985596,0.2573103939524132,0.11554284198233275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092946746618612,0.0938855393975468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401816172150513,0.0,0.08610959804064293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616875104211243
mentalhealth,smishmortion,2019/04/15,"The battle between mental illness ssns employment I want to share that its very difficult if not impossible for myself to get a job right now, and it really affects me mentally. I have suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder most of my life.


I am an intelligent person; I hold an undergraduate and graduate degree. I can talk on about many
topics, and am a quick study. All I really want to do is work and help people. I wanted to become a
psychologist but I can’t afford graduate school and have a lot of trouble focusing these days.
Because of my mental illness I struggle, a lot. If a job posting says ""2 years experience"", I stop, not
because I don't think I can do it, but because my anxiety and black & white thinking make me feel
inept. The difficulty in finding a job is only exacerbated by my inability to feel like I'm good enough.


And with each new application I send out with no response, I only feel more and more alone. I feel
like a failure each time and while I know its unreasonable to expect that I am going to be offered every job I apply for, getting no replies is difficult. A point has been reached where I struggle to find meaning in my job search and apply for anything, hoping to not be a further disappointment to those around myself.


 My greatest asset, my ability to be critical, seems only to be focused on myself and
why I cannot land a job in any sector.
I know a good deal about public health, about infrastructure, about psychology and sociology, about terrorism, about statistics and about research. I love studies, and figuring out why things work or don’t work in certain regards. I love finding out what makes people tick and how I can help with
issues that arise. It seems that—because of my inability to even lock down a job at a grocery
store— I can't live up to my potential and it kills me.


One thing that really hurts is that I have a criminal record for battery when I was in a very bad place
mentally and struck someone trying to help me. I didn't understand what they were doing and I am
very averse to being touched. This only makes looking for jobs worse. I wait for the rejection letters based on a background check and have no way of explaining that I needed help, that I still feel
terrible about it and have made a bunch of changes in order to not make the same mistake. I gave
up drinking; I started working on myself more, and have been in and out of treatment for the past few
years just trying to eek by. But it has been so hard to know you're a failure in the eyes of others, of
family, and most of all yourself.


If I could start over again, I would. Though I know I can't change my anxiety or bipolar but I can
change my outlook and try harder. I just want to be employable, to be recognized as being smart
and capable, to be seen as being useful. I'm so tired of being a failure.


Do any of you have similar issues, ideas for employment, helpful words? It would be extremely",6.733020287958118,6.528024668411868,7.497451461605586,73.20256462696335,64.96858638743456,10.65290139616056,34.83469677137871,10.270032843473604,3.5319791012216406,2337,97,433,50,32,782,266,573,0.193,0.6729999999999999,0.134,-0.99,12,1,1,0,0,0,59.0,0,1,1,4,22,25,2,3,28,0,52,11,1,8,3,104,93,43,1,14,15,0,7,2,0,2,7,1,0,1,24,36,1,3,21,1,1,2,14,15,0,1,9,13,61,10,81,69,16,48,0,4,5,2,20,28,0,12,17,319,85,20,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06375769384473241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06670033823609979,0.0,0.08372595245550997,0.0,0.1412799146999645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050658713702038866,0.05480153688866755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05140010874655519,0.15010585242994112,0.06798828943936178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953672567948896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049150727420916966,0.0,0.0,0.03970116914439383,0.06346575582381908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110640653750015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030545785210732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360803516137098,0.0,0.04065986278411002,0.0,0.05186703589822975,0.0,0.0,0.06021758628979475,0.05803337974803877,0.0,0.15563317091677673,0.08795708968577648,0.0,0.0,0.1687944373137252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643252186632594,0.0,0.0349860211781067,0.1032673755581988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05514575433096111,0.0,0.0,0.06543550330891294,0.0,0.0,0.2063121734016302,0.0,0.0,0.061143065470556965,0.0,0.0,0.06590135592454874,0.0694938552004696,0.0,0.12850549270159292,0.4887111707685939,0.0,0.06810712527533487,0.0,0.13532727518155288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04348171631377536,0.060150306715649325,0.0,0.054358692552046936,0.0,0.05169497628685632,0.0,0.0,0.1046723843239407,0.11112078011266736,0.0582496512433352,0.1643673682591658,0.06241227504838597,0.0,0.06705699144385867,0.0,0.0,0.248152390491008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04564603111754628,0.0,0.059455124268231664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041714714199654966,0.1872769078791824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587660772488717,0.08535603877765105,0.05375190129496056,0.06431719786325811,0.0,0.05819418864881356,0.0,0.058957555132383835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183109213947718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257198557777239,0.0,0.04895505913622645,0.0,0.062302103632288185,0.0,0.11208399862434083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052159669523533285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714510551488422,0.0,0.04916197214152623,0.05146699668805163,0.0,0.1287119568215757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04947967326502913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179558470372285,0.0788904475867422,0.060482481707584086,0.0,0.035896186998292216,0.0707542744320139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538579270603736,0.0,0.0,0.06408623091139183,0.0,0.053168157612421184,0.0,0.1523805787465038,0.14523895822011826,0.048863538773969435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110968230586271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926593209858355,0.0,0.06273499699335999,0.08746105182676721,0.0,0.0,0.07928536692218945
mentalhealth,anonymouse_woman,2019/04/15,"Going on months now. I’ve been in a depressed state for two solid months, with very little relief here and there. I feel so alone and empty. I feel like I could disappear and no one would care. An overwhelming cloud of sadness envelops me. Normally, I’m in this state for a day to two weeks — this is getting scary. I just don’t know what to do to pull myself out of it. I’ve sought situations that would normally make me happy, I’ve seen a couple friends ... it just feels like my normal remedies aren’t gonna work this time. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who to talk to. I just hide this from everyone in my life so I don’t hear the comments or judgments. I guess I’m just looking here for a little support.",1.0912000000000006,3.1135137200000003,2.6273333333333326,94.037,81.8,5.6000000000000005,20.666666666666664,6.742157984588678,0.2294666666666667,558,16,125,6,15,182,88,150,0.13,0.726,0.14400000000000002,0.496,1,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,0,1,6,0,12,1,0,1,0,24,30,6,0,6,5,0,3,2,1,3,1,1,0,0,10,5,0,0,6,0,0,3,6,3,0,3,2,6,14,7,18,24,0,18,0,3,2,0,5,7,0,2,8,78,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504138048651669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807099854373862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595381635469253,0.16069351041901214,0.0,0.09366091444816596,0.0,0.1250858239744996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877286495846747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202969648604122,0.20750374937843533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220383342364312,0.0,0.07587633981466584,0.0,0.08253718485031293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998649929050815,0.0,0.0,0.15459934066984027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636840292913004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394427535090483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257978290039893,0.14190344649134615,0.2911159181136804,0.0,0.0,0.12195607473909675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694171700964756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318413588025308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268817755667389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984111642574961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16324387117323078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648045422067173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672984812472467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468440028137482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837359392155148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982942112385,0.0,0.0,0.11649422225985022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572869446671627,0.0,0.0,0.20633352289702508,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HeckinWhimsical,2019/04/15,"Seeing a doctor about my mental health this week - any advice? So I managed to finally book an appointment with my doctor for my mental health this week.   I'm going to give some background info.  I'm a 20 year old woman living in the UK, I am already diagnosed with high-functioning autism (but that was when I was 6 years old), I have never seen anyone about my mental health since I was small and had to get behavioural therapy for my autism.   When I was a teenager my parents didn't really believe there was anything wrong with me and just put it down to teenage hormones/me trying to get attention/any of my problems just being part of having autism.  They aren't like this now and my mum has even offered to take me to my appointment.  I don't want to jump to any conclusions as to what's wrong with me, so I'm not going to go too much into my ""symptoms"", but to make a long story short I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts, self harm and ""episodes"" (which can last up to 2 weeks) where I feel really low and hate myself to the point where I feel completely numb and shut myself off from all my friends. 

First off, I don't know how to tell my doctor any of this.   I am really bad at talking to people in real life unless I've known them for a certain amount of time, or if I feel comfortable around them.   I stumble on my words, I talk to fast (especially if I'm nervous), I miss out certain details, sometimes I just shut down and resort to saying one-word answers because its like my body physically will not let me talk.  If I tell anyone I don't know about that kind of stuff, I uncontrollably break down in tears which a) makes me look very stupid and b) is embarrassing.  And I always feel like my symptoms aren't serious enough or ""real"" enough (if that makes sense).  Its kind of the reason as to why I've been putting off going to a doctor now that I'm a fully grown adult; I just feel like I'd be wasting the doctor's time when there are people in worse conditions than me.   

Second off, I'm worried about what will happen if I do open up about it.   I've heard too many ""horror stories"" about doctors just saying ""oh that's normal, there's nothing wrong with you"", being put on a waiting list for too long, being given the wrong kind of medication/therapy which makes you feel worse, things like that.  I don't want to put anyone off going to a doctor, but I'm just voicing my concerns about it.  I don't know what I should do if any of this happens.  

So, I'm looking for advice about what I should do when I'm at my appointment, or any of your experiences with seeing a doctor.",6.925128205128202,5.591587283524905,7.136934865900383,79.65347480106105,65.0536398467433,9.869849690539349,31.379605069260244,8.617729084823388,2.2377619216033007,2030,59,415,24,26,659,229,522,0.182,0.789,0.029,-0.9977,1,0,0,0,0,0,64.0,0,3,3,2,34,29,2,4,17,0,37,17,1,6,4,76,83,32,1,12,21,2,6,5,1,4,16,4,0,3,25,20,0,1,15,1,0,11,11,17,0,2,13,15,58,12,77,61,7,64,0,2,5,0,22,30,0,10,27,271,83,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308994239964736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385542451258489,0.0,0.04814828388124179,0.0,0.0,0.2361009507604376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138158065346953,0.0,0.047617933343140136,0.05151208429836585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048314826280816375,0.03527394377532573,0.0,0.0,0.06519399688013293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427492810252634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067031177007719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05873171842088917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4738179247558477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195799481296492,0.0,0.03821926168877541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05660303628903295,0.0,0.0,0.17554958072451046,0.0826774808841097,0.0,0.06338823749584682,0.0,0.04921990714936176,0.0,0.0,0.0447063261304673,0.0,0.060464108753450686,0.05550934429951205,0.16442995712440725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233958965681356,0.0,0.0,0.057129670192627637,0.0,0.18452324627697192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061137509400227885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807723603875531,0.09540320951010377,0.0471676671947342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059170844155182076,0.04087173395781174,0.14134948789866075,0.0,0.051095821614978006,0.10241734099928328,0.0971839888979914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545012459571653,0.05866598924181055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494281525054975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04253740512594137,0.0,0.04462902598561396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05669537690268792,0.055522991702307435,0.0,0.12143908744951636,0.0,0.03921079583407122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425219248684877,0.06266211498798255,0.0,0.08023255759818257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054701092734729256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536895383673356,0.0,0.2326810770325873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317259901037233,0.11120932919611412,0.05949481837108594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09203308068457704,0.0,0.0,0.09222176588510686,0.0,0.06036577528513681,0.0,0.0,0.047866494558015935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722992705902604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060493022152556676,0.0662415374628626,0.06329487660640842,0.0,0.0,0.1202877033118774,0.0435072500693456,0.13952899380149586,0.10115305464565708,0.0,0.13234725414425255,0.0,0.03844290957616922,0.0,0.0,0.045938316279347545,0.06748304940434281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039286510868070564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04774465379058175,0.06826050767919872,0.0,0.13924734655901494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05221412792038012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05876467778188961,0.11793867971786595,0.0,0.25306500877938937,0.0,0.0745262767505934
mentalhealth,Anonymous_2145,2019/04/15,"I'm miserable, And I feel bad about it I was born with aspergers syndrome, I was diagnosed with Major depressive disorder last year, And because of some stuff that Happened earlier this year, I have nightmares everynight, I freeze up if I hear the wrong word and I don't want to do much of anything anymore. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about any of it because My family always made it seem like my issues weren't as bad because someone Somewhere Has it worse. I feel alone, And I feel guilty that I feel bad.",5.993333333333332,5.995069126213592,6.227330097087378,80.99141585760522,66.47572815533981,9.585113268608417,33.671521035598715,9.2995712137729,2.8794414239482204,412,17,81,7,6,132,63,103,0.32299999999999995,0.6659999999999999,0.011,-0.9852,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,0,1,1,0,9,1,0,1,0,17,20,6,0,2,1,0,6,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,4,7,14,2,11,16,3,5,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,3,6,50,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662447703420565,0.0,0.0,0.13356104866817506,0.0,0.0,0.10915546735059778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15918740278545976,0.1122355765303754,0.0,0.13208988150871198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020690880823213,0.29354472526466563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825103419415802,0.16291899253825745,0.0,0.0,0.18396369703824905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513189280635053,0.0,0.40580515380110777,0.11467169915506333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194257627694926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18091167817068105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16753559322499045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084086463597758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568387016992702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518828443989149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799673795761476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612651028204018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13600354338684673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18375087325550493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290155967462798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467570028812276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635781431017427,0.0,0.17549757348134815,0.0,0.20673234586501674
mentalhealth,Bouck,2019/04/15,"I need some recommendations. I am interacting with a stranger on the internet who I feel might be a risk to themselves and I’m not sure what to do to handle it. Any advice would be helpful.

The person is a complete stranger to me and I don’t know anything about who they are or where they are to get them help. I feel like if I stop talking to them they will stop engaging with me and start engaging themselves. Please help.",2.5008529411764715,4.657215952941176,3.4078676470588256,89.5541544117647,77.70588235294117,6.602941176470589,25.919117647058826,7.6454224807358475,1.2919705882352943,336,13,71,5,8,107,54,85,0.095,0.706,0.199,0.8533,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,5,0,2,5,0,1,5,0,11,0,0,0,1,18,18,5,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,13,4,10,13,1,5,0,0,0,0,13,2,0,4,4,51,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268097472922313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783896086352994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910021563185376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24335706232979745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347179315656369,0.16581543988956596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212649766692507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.466724088885298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755851599597776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339449273707125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24622610432228995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210248215369736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20266462180514186,0.0,0.2547809471571045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164284699013977,0.0,0.0,0.3880993664575126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21875566355171025,0.0,0.0,0.1865567361844977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648803164550897,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,endless_nothing,2019/04/15,"I Can't handle all these feelings First, sorry about my English, it's not my first language. I just need a place to vent. 

I can't handle all these feelings anymore. I am really afraid of doing something wrong, and sometimes even if I didn't I think I did. Sometimes when I am driving, I am sure I did something wrong, hit some car, etc... even if it didn't happened. It's crazy, sometimes I drive by the same street two or three times just to see if everything is ok. I always check everything multiple times, if the stove is off, if I closed the windows and doors. When I park my car I make videos to be sure that I lock the doors, when I go to the bathroom I make videos to be sure I turn off the faucet. 

But that's not all. I really afraid of dying. And I think everything is going to kill me. Any pain is cancer, any mold is going to fuck up my lungs, any weird taste in food is going to poison me. Yesterday I went for 2 minutes outside and when I got back I found two red dots and a little scratch in my hand, and I was sure a bat had bit me, even that I didn't heard or felt anything. I thought about getting the rabies shot, but If I am alreay sick with something else, and the shots kill me...

I am 30 years old, but I fell like a child. I still live with my parents. I do therapy but hidden from my mom and dad, because they think its silly. I really wish I could take with them about all these stuff, but i am afraid they wont take me seriously.",3.4752950819672144,3.831352291803277,4.4014344262295095,90.66838114754101,71.98360655737704,7.411475409836067,25.08606557377049,7.1686216300943375,0.8188655737704922,1119,30,258,10,20,363,150,305,0.104,0.8190000000000001,0.077,-0.8959999999999999,1,0,3,0,0,2,42.0,0,0,3,2,14,19,4,3,12,1,27,9,2,2,8,52,54,25,3,9,17,3,5,1,0,1,4,1,4,1,11,12,2,0,8,2,1,10,8,12,0,5,13,9,50,7,24,36,8,32,0,0,2,1,8,9,1,9,14,170,61,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788231353919391,0.0,0.0,0.19325940311660744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939469278473799,0.0,0.0,0.07795490315394109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284169522605648,0.0,0.05774666554820599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342087014632917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563437592552083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831501696739788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913494698042937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564924102478544,0.18770525940892152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554122523876833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579689557628704,0.0,0.09095587111975102,0.0,0.0,0.16115496098602602,0.11454816338168605,0.10386680154089407,0.0,0.08757656600761518,0.04949263241013415,0.0,0.21534947837187374,0.0,0.07576441423402322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376962459732902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20960991572584609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628040263988757,0.09494457138504599,0.08364852369512751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646632077627887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094689391960336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702412610801622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940343518282717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079963775319914,0.0,0.10518670364475702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897292221143313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18205982239560456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548772409391642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21878386456020807,0.2810718425710211,0.1060427305530091,0.0,0.0,0.0756516795844973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10844344294562966,0.0,0.0,0.3571284616935943,0.0,0.14245067887385454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833226743755277,0.0,0.0,0.1820979082957264,0.0,0.07520521671542788,0.11047591131138444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303928169297336,0.18507532882369426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781586709265474,0.0,0.0,0.10893508299618668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071452587924054,0.0,0.06100315866977106
mentalhealth,cpclos,2019/04/15,"Johann Hari on the REAL Causes of Depression and Anxiety [Listen to the episode here](https://www.hiddenforces.io/podcast/johann-hari-depression-and-anxiety#utm_source=Reddit&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=ep84-johann-hari&utm_term=mentalhealth)

\---

In this week’s episode of Hidden Forces, Demetri Kofinas speaks with celebrated author Johann Hari about his book “Lost Connections” and the silent epidemic of depression and anxiety that is pervading our society and burdening the lives of so many people.

Lost Connections begins as a chronicling of Johann’s search for answers to the causes of his own depression, but becomes an investigation into the reasons for its increasing prevalence in the lives of others.

In the introduction to the book, Johann tells us that someone in five U.S. adults is taking at least one drug for a psychiatric problem and that nearly one in four middle-aged women in the United States is taking antidepressants at any given time. Addictions to legal and illegal drugs are now so widespread that the life expectancy of white men is declining for the first time in the entire peacetime history of the United States, and these statistics are not exclusive to Americans. When scientists test the water supply of Western countries, they always find it laced with antidepressants, because so many people are taking and excreting them that they simply can’t be filtered out of the water we drink every day. We are literally, as Johann writes, awash in these drugs and we have come to accept that a huge number of the people all around us are so distressed that they feel they need to take a powerful chemical every day just to keep themselves together.

This is an extremely sensitive issue because so many people suffer under the burden of depression, but unlike other disabilities, this one is particularly difficult to talk about. No one wants to be seen as a downer or weak, even though more people are starting to understand that depression is not a sign of weakness. But what is it a sign of?

Certainly, there are people in this world who are predisposed towards various forms of mental illness, including severe, sometimes debilitating depression. However, it is difficult to comprehend how the epidemic – the rising rates of depression and anxiety – can be explained in biological terms and treated in pharmacological ways. Johann Hari would say that this epidemic is not a malfunction caused by a biological deficiency. He would say that they are the natural response to a deficiency in how we live.

This point, in particular, resonates. The Indian philosopher Krishnamurti, famously said that “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” On the surface, things have never been better. This is literally the best time to be alive in all of human history by almost any metric, and yet, if you look between the cracks you find people struggling. Some of them are depressed, others are just overwhelmed, grieving, or lonely. It isn’t just people in poverty who are struggling. This is a society-wide phenomenon. We see it in our politics, but we also see it in our culture. What do we value in our societies today? Who are the heroes that we idolize? If an alien species were to visit earth, what would be the appeal we would make to save our lives?

It’s not a coincidence that there has been an outpouring of interest in questions of ethics, moral philosophy, and epistemology. What are we to infer from the resurgent public curiosity in psychedelics if not that they may hold the key to revelation – the revelation of some elemental truth about life that we seem to have forgotten in our haste to remake the world and ourselves along with some artificially manufactured, commercially sanitized avatar of a human life.

Joseph Campbell, the great mythological scholar and mystic once said, “I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” Could this epidemic be a reflection of our struggle to fulfill the demands of a culture whose values are no longer compatible with the needs of a human life? As Johann Hari writes in the final paragraphs of his book, while addressing his younger self, “You aren’t a machine with broken parts. You are an animal whose needs are not being met. You are not suffering from a chemical imbalance in your brain. You are suffering from a social and spiritual imbalance in how we live. This pain is not your enemy, however much it hurts, and Jesus, I know how much it hurts. It’s your ally – leading you away from a wasted life and pointing the way towards a more fulfilling one. You can try and muffle that signal or you can let it guide you, away from the things that are hurting and draining you, and towards the things that will meet your true needs.”

Those of you who are regular listeners to this show know that we’ve devoted more time and attention to the subject of life – it’s properties, its merits, and how we come to know and understand it – as we move into a new paradigm of human experience at the frontier of technological futurism. No one knows exactly where this is all going. We are all still figuring it out, but it seems that this is an important piece of that puzzle.

There are limits to human adaptability, and we should be careful not to accept explanations simply because they come wrapped in a story of scientific certainty or commercial authority. People aren’t machines. Your life matters. Your pain matters. Listen to it. It may have something important to teach.",10.27957468879668,10.215713600622408,9.690403319502074,59.927003319502106,57.70331950207469,13.189178423236516,40.338091286307055,12.411214026448931,5.466894008298756,4517,203,667,132,50,1451,416,964,0.142,0.747,0.11,-0.9913,5,2,5,0,0,0,122.0,25,18,10,9,29,48,0,5,72,0,78,23,1,12,9,152,122,58,1,16,24,0,1,0,0,8,19,8,1,9,73,55,3,3,23,5,0,9,19,32,1,9,10,16,59,16,138,92,22,83,2,19,7,0,94,49,0,17,21,526,132,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05487281197622705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05040344495873344,0.0,0.0,0.04025305168697487,0.041882929523805734,0.16361454691531502,0.0,0.06845934187805644,0.0,0.11551890061909972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044809011295485326,0.0,0.0,0.0945831791805112,0.0,0.0,0.09205163603416996,0.05559128817204893,0.0,0.056710548260466814,0.05282370065552227,0.0445174054911548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619074461333876,0.0,0.0,0.05132010436611007,0.1551243878112677,0.0,0.13007798716334856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04018857180336897,0.0,0.0,0.06492409657229856,0.0,0.3468291619142942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04930934596896839,0.17511860028128384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033245933493935044,0.0,0.08481917586175304,0.0,0.0,0.09847499385749003,0.0,0.0,0.02545099611979736,0.0,0.0,0.05513976552570623,0.09201094564886028,0.04281510650285328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028606661549268626,0.0,0.0,0.055494750081713985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350397768682248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165465986893982,0.0,0.0,0.05253688492072499,0.0,0.04474025011828879,0.0,0.0,0.11065166684132556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05147116565417384,0.2844259965057957,0.0,0.0,0.22223457651569786,0.0,0.1268067051329322,0.0,0.1098936621248895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03359914556728973,0.1530960168125348,0.0,0.054829803280033236,0.0,0.0,0.0507260557815335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349836554785492,0.1110065196971311,0.14929169071264978,0.038821619368240634,0.04861406241803034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360535912995045,0.20465065827160925,0.0,0.10712043115387496,0.0,0.0,0.05450813059770879,0.0,0.3489609893145685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516609221357526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048164000965655096,0.0,0.0,0.056386958365772476,0.0,0.0,0.05729249222646941,0.0,0.05175298232879716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576062850838954,0.08005716344279919,0.0,0.0,0.08022129575072251,0.09164657499669196,0.05251060490864732,0.05686446339278629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262082167433134,0.04264886266961796,0.03875050615853472,0.049782812770188214,0.0,0.03562752286761325,0.0,0.04019776615888163,0.0,0.0,0.15786388086520972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15138326366302032,0.040457537582091,0.04399519481619851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10032143677893464,0.0,0.0494540912514911,0.0,0.11740347004785898,0.0,0.04771189642527388,0.0,0.0,0.03417430556781851,0.0,0.0,0.1048014638942532,0.12109412736514046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029689012794710493,0.07990749840860598,0.040375871731953984,0.0,0.0452574015440875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302676463918884,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,R4ven4,2019/04/15,"I spent all my life living 2 versions of myself. 

I realised that I’ve never shared the true extent of my mental illness with anybody or my story so I’d really like to at least share it here.

I have an eating disorder which ruined my life. I think it started when I was 4-5 I remember my parents restricting my food intake because I had some health problem, and 6-10 i was a slightly chubby kid which was completely normal for a child, however not so for my parents so they kept restricting me, sometimes “lovingly” calling me chub or something which in return triggered a lifetime of not feeling good enough. 

I was supposed to be so so lucky. I come from a part of Russia which is in the middle of nowhere. It was poor, it was dangerous, people were simple and not very intelligent and no one got anywhere special in life. But one day my father started a business which took off quite nicely nothing huge but it was enough to send me to a boarding school in another country, so when I was 8 I was sent away to a Swiss school. How lucky right? Out of all the people who will never see beyond that sad city I was the one who was given the opportunity to get an amazing education and go places! Only It didn’t go that way. 

I was a poor kid sent to a rich world where “chubbiness” was only a thing accepted in men. Where having no money made you less, and made it more difficult to make friends. Now all the money my parents made pretty much went on my education (bless them) so whilst everyone was bonding over new gucci shoes and macbooks I lived my life in second hand uniform. All other kids saw their parents frequently, we couldn’t afford it so the next 8 years I grew up completely alone in the world only seeing my mother 3 times a year. My dad died when I was 11 so that didn’t help.  My life was pretty much a mix of loneliness, and crying myself to sleep.

My eating disorder of-course got BAD during those years. I would get really fat and then in 2-3 years Im thin again and then in another 2 I’m obese and then I develop bulimia and next year Im thin again and this time I develop depression, and behold it helps me get obese again. It dominated everything. Every. Part. Of. My. Life. 

I am somebody who cannot stand being fat because it is burned into my brain that fat = abomination. When I am I isolate myself from any friends and family completely because I am too embarrassed to exist. If I look in the mirror I feel suicidal so I try not to. I live in self-loathing, and depression. Fat means I am not welcome, fat means I don’t deserve anything.

When I am thin, life is amazing I have nice genes , i feel beautiful and everyone treats me so much better and I feel respected, and straight away my love life blows up and I make great friends, I achieve things, I’m charismatic, I feel powerful like I can do anything. But it never lasts, a day comes when i realise NOTHING makes me feel good enough, and this feeling of dread and longing creeps in, taking it all away from me and thats when thin isn’t thin enough. I begin comparing myself to huge women 3 times my size and truly start believing I am that fat and so I lose all the people I love, and become numb with depression, lose all passion, interest and just dream of dying and eat my life away as punishment for not being thin enough. The real me is there tucked at the back of my head watching me commit irrational self harming behaviour, screaming for it to stop, to regain control of my body. But it’s a prison. I watch myself ruin everything and I cannot stop it.

I managed to beat bulimia but depression and the eating disorder took away everything. I was an aspiring musician, i was really really good, i had good grades, got into the university I wanted etc...then it hit me again and suddenly I am a drop out, just drinking and crying all day. I never had anyone to talk to about this. People who aren’t depressed can’t understand it, those who are depressed are no help because we just end up dragging each other deeper into it and to this day my mother thinks being depressed just means being sad no matter how many times I explain it.

I am 22 now. Its been 5 years of depression so far I have barely gone out of my house in 2 years, gained a shit ton of weight of course, cant play my instruments anymore because I haven’t touched them in so long and lost a big chunk of my intelligence since I haven’t really been stimulating my brain with new knowledge. Everyday I consider death ..only I don’t want to die. What I want the most is to live, free in my skin, life not revolving around comfort food, to be free of the disorders that dehumanised me. But the life I live isn’t a life... 

Who am I? The girl who got handed an opportunity to be anyone, to achieve anything. Who had all the potential, who could have made her father proud. I ate it away. I cried it away. I slept it away. I harmed it away. Now I am nothing, I am worth nothing. Waste of space and by god was I a waste of money.  
Mommy and daddy’s little disappointment.

Now I can feel myself becoming thinner, I have a small spark of motivation, Ive been eating healthy and exercising, my depression giving way to moments of progress, but it doesn’t matter because I’ve been here before over and over enough to know that I am just a shitty biological machine with broken code that will always take everything away from me and nobody can fix me. 

One day I will be 40, and every morning I will wake up in regret, replaying how I let my whole life slip through my fingers over fucking food. I just hope I have the courage to suicide the next time I lose everything so I don’t have to experience such a future. 

I just needed to share this with somebody at least once, thanks so much for reading.",3.262124756335286,5.094766289241626,4.559371948389495,83.63497827903092,74.37918871252205,7.667153067854822,26.222556390977445,8.436600690433057,1.835337354497356,4508,162,880,82,95,1489,445,1134,0.201,0.639,0.16,-0.995,8,1,2,0,1,2,120.0,2,1,4,17,52,75,4,2,47,0,91,54,19,14,15,151,161,79,6,12,24,9,20,2,3,5,25,1,0,8,62,56,19,6,20,5,10,12,31,32,0,5,51,27,139,45,115,93,32,146,1,19,6,5,54,68,2,8,64,604,201,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03670164157610156,0.0,0.0,0.0294860988809555,0.0,0.0,0.024098110458034738,0.07431675221528238,0.0,0.0,0.035143595725997026,0.049556204305608434,0.0,0.0874839336657807,0.03154609653237255,0.0,0.0,0.3329386226680389,0.027248566266898,0.029588089757179463,0.12961097387968146,0.07827390483891737,0.030153945687100236,0.03992492532431096,0.0,0.031340802450069566,0.0,0.03936208589016315,0.0,0.07911795429313002,0.03618474158862353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061051004714687065,0.11146383636870484,0.0,0.03974517215085658,0.028293250151114082,0.0,0.11677635867971987,0.11426841156129025,0.0,0.2746935079323904,0.0,0.11033282160252557,0.0,0.1624537038445243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03471438764019228,0.0,0.18130249759507194,0.0,0.0,0.031386318948456365,0.21969295001835246,0.03952118819005137,0.0,0.0,0.059713745788466735,0.0677224002778206,0.15924070371520574,0.03466380502983968,0.033406482802675615,0.0,0.14334252102028588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855027100772945,0.0,0.08213471259776946,0.03276057558627828,0.055542499516198114,0.03399402601491437,0.04027888501048275,0.1188901911499992,0.1133675791328921,0.039068988413364585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03636818605402881,0.03766746009735023,0.0,0.0,0.07125723956778966,0.0,0.0,0.03519655022701066,0.0,0.04088909095243277,0.0,0.0,0.07655524104604859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.019475034500460384,0.028885567392564437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036236335357926135,0.3253890397122457,0.034625076044100464,0.035516793466143975,0.15645588244214362,0.06272057071188637,0.029757828060495664,0.11893350916179543,0.038683246666915215,0.0,0.09594877411854956,0.1341239115123631,0.07096263846226061,0.0359271612670504,0.0,0.11580257299476696,0.0,0.0,0.035711768818965164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419994505111918,0.02627579782806356,0.10932359511863927,0.0684497988923261,0.11306171253874026,0.0,0.034720354593925376,0.136009534839395,0.0,0.0,0.03773883388353837,0.09605105810342857,0.1078045571284447,0.0,0.0,0.15739265022681398,0.07674879225945963,0.0,0.09826913593211764,0.0,0.03702371589701922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210354557337775,0.0,0.033908050633577005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037691197471962035,0.035446200363178235,0.04033462105285295,0.11350800114528682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014277198347722,0.03026267192659437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172748382392413,0.056476781489692776,0.0,0.07393622682267766,0.0,0.03637517165916777,0.029313530573666938,0.0,0.03546220260950686,0.0,0.0,0.027280834203065697,0.035047714106997384,0.0,0.07524664636179616,0.0,0.0,0.059253186605002575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752380105084243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05328784223119424,0.02848260537619412,0.0,0.03262527008577777,0.0,0.0,0.04708501909768675,0.045412698554592616,0.0,0.0,0.10331686340227343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874275676840849,0.02405913255394275,0.0,0.0,0.03689076149148561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02923891506036729,0.0627042933884469,0.05625586429112457,0.0,0.04315224516998745,0.0,0.03285009315520917,0.0,0.03956371034679577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025173151524520328,0.0,0.0,0.1597401082499956
mentalhealth,milklolly,2019/04/15,"Vent#2 My motivation for university has gone so far downhill. I’m terrified that I’m not going to complete this and drop out like I have with every other task I’ve put my mind to. I’m terrified that all the people who are rooting for me will be disappointed. I wish my brain would make this easier on me, I don’t feel like I have control. I need to get back into therapy, it feels as if I’m falling apart.",1.6142647058823516,3.5504204705882394,4.240808823529413,83.58238970588236,79.58823529411767,7.544117647058822,23.56617647058824,8.472884824447931,1.5959705882352937,320,11,67,7,8,113,62,85,0.161,0.695,0.145,-0.3506,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,0,8,1,1,4,1,17,20,4,0,4,2,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,1,2,10,2,10,16,1,11,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,3,42,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20103937156937626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918653344023488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274125977819471,0.0,0.2932390773833734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202834051850736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643945562385087,0.1867803595348028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659714654043734,0.0,0.14858840004106505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554631117199058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17452030444000075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639905729102424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19386230567496354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812569250336889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26283006424694244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989915445919021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006552848536287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572700351791305,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,various336,2019/04/15,"I'm trying to do some good, and I need your help So I'll keep this as short as possible. My fiance's friend has had an awful life. From drug dealing parents, slavery and multiple rapes. Just the worst shit no one should ever have to go through. She lives in kind of a 'halfway home' (I think that's an accurate term) whereby she's constantly around drug busts, and suicides. 

She also has the worst PTSD I've ever seen. She can't hold a job because she panics and cried and screams when anything happens. Also on the list she has anxiety and depression. 

She has absolutely no income and pays her rent by cleaning the building she lives in. Aside from that she has no income whatsoever, no money for food, furniture, or the basics of life. She's trying to file for disability or unemployment but it's not going well, and she can't get a doctor to help with her condition because she has no insurance. 

I've only known her for a short while but she seems like one of the kindest humans I've ever met, especially considering her past. I'm trying to help her anyway I can.

Currently in our home we have three mattresses, so I'm giving one to her. I'll also be buying her some food and soap and such. We aren't financially secure enough to help any further. And I just need some advice on what I can do to help. I'm no stranger to mental illness, I've got my own issues with anxiety and depression and my mother has those in addition to bipolar. So I can empathize to a degree but I want to know what else I can do for her. 

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated. I also live in a small town in North Dakota where people aren't too understanding of her issues.",3.111583476764196,4.939920915662653,4.6372977624784895,82.93433734939762,74.78313253012048,7.513941480206539,25.110154905335627,8.306716005460428,1.6257974182444062,1312,44,258,23,28,439,169,332,0.151,0.745,0.104,-0.828,8,0,2,0,0,1,33.0,3,1,0,0,19,15,2,1,14,1,25,11,1,0,4,46,45,30,1,4,8,2,0,1,1,2,7,1,5,1,7,20,2,3,5,0,4,2,11,8,1,4,4,2,38,7,37,37,9,27,0,2,1,1,39,16,1,6,10,178,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153072457796864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299623226783011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739412328570038,0.0,0.14331064895435186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708031057970757,0.08338386774818146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419758694609285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122121149553187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288926912897764,0.0,0.09656700323756884,0.16135123344703164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587257949445067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21724895333828287,0.0,0.07824711524449901,0.0,0.0,0.09678348989358776,0.0,0.0,0.2541826480151089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265260465364087,0.0,0.07236722094136294,0.0,0.048937364081473735,0.08985433004514667,0.10646671347473063,0.07856379287080975,0.07491439721906552,0.10326866779134324,0.0,0.0,0.08282979543129855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3766998071614781,0.0,0.18791213081754712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955289142732116,0.09295046714021583,0.0832559119477788,0.0,0.09754021020112692,0.05147716769050055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232014605493828,0.04576117299757178,0.0,0.2481301595573269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439473454975396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890641898117748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041441587908306,0.07123829825525993,0.0,0.10989854258479444,0.10400659173140964,0.0,0.08941615676498732,0.06493719932894892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105595948975812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949220846468076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527130668767846,0.0,0.0,0.09614826670656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245696115724158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06001830442759045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907821011980257,0.0,0.0,0.09751109377919574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055247474668061486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421826493990849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hearts_,2019/04/15,"Is Memory Loss a symptom of PTSD? I experienced a very stressful and terrifying event in late 2014. It dragged on into 2015 for at least 6months.  The event caused lots of stress on me mentally. Recently, in the last year, I have been noticing I am having a harder and harder time remembering simple words. I couldn't remember what my dogs breed name was. I also have an extremely hard time focusing on the conversation at hand and finishing it because I'm having a hard time thinking of how to explain it or what words to use. Is memory Loss a symptom of PTSD? 

I'm 30 years old and I don't even know where to begin to help heal this.",3.73536,5.445695216000002,5.144200000000001,80.44510000000002,72.84,8.840000000000002,27.7,9.3871,2.4803599999999997,502,19,98,12,10,168,81,125,0.158,0.795,0.047,-0.9001,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,2,9,0,11,4,1,3,0,19,18,7,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,4,8,0,17,15,2,22,0,2,0,0,4,9,0,2,13,62,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607193095998356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610143013172348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619490555435335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412574591217476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28244526225233074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566887084824138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663982429896537,0.1285050603432073,0.17783505524532595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13402763004890844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588732166716967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948454900969735,0.1654262144902762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685667308085492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556594705891263,0.0,0.3571714043884932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36117303040185145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32771556220538106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101517980927767,0.0,0.0,0.2757793797617633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136158208392503,0.0,0.13007702058051346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030417076055597
mentalhealth,ohhithere21,2019/04/15,"Does anyone here have any experience of taking quetiapine? I have just started and I feel awful. I’m a walking zombie and slept for hours. 

I can’t function like this as I have an important job where I need to be sharp, alert and articulate myself well. All day I’ve been tired, distant and struggling to speak in coherent sentences. 

Has any one else tried this medication and found these effects wear off after time?",5.238461538461539,7.1010748974359,5.667179487179487,77.58615384615388,69.25641025641025,8.276923076923078,29.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.4752666666666667,334,13,59,6,6,107,63,78,0.109,0.764,0.127,-0.3094,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,2,1,7,4,2,1,1,11,14,6,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,3,3,6,2,8,10,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,37,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340659928282363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513627296726503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16153411262346434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191902692628176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092377260426176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24501027489318805,0.0,0.0,0.12664647767617446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746302890821576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24666506737502425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485554172603841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236826557932308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523248039190558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572226688183235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972672308654696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728580281385467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26184835582025706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883242313169409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605259336937862,0.2878814196409213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005446100503946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252049572973875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,joestug2,2019/04/15,"Déjà vu or reliving my life? Okay so this is kinda dumb and probably an indicator that I need to be seen for anxiety, but anyway. So I’ve read about how in the last seconds before people die, they relive their lives, and this has been backed up by research. Nw, whenever I have déjà vu, I get unnecessarily worried that it’s not actually déjà vu and that I’m dying. I know it sounds crazy but it happens a lot. Does this happen to anyone else?",1.3837078651685388,3.7995948426966315,3.7911123595505636,83.73408426966293,83.71910112359551,6.706067415730338,21.259550561797763,7.908726449838941,1.1661137078651684,347,11,70,7,10,120,69,89,0.163,0.8079999999999999,0.028,-0.9241,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,0,6,2,1,0,3,1,5,1,0,1,0,12,12,9,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,9,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,2,7,1,7,9,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,3,2,45,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.21419070996413733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790935253289505,0.0,0.0,0.15347260581816982,0.2248935814902196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877436552648306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18676993870473216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4555922142916419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920772962893789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833558434649972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467453643593715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881888030730085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206260380537721,0.17891375501377965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550323734715606,0.0,0.0,0.19381381048394414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660266376751625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274915398102585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216682324977016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366474888977061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21954953218538795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22290288643544495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PolyamorousPleb,2019/04/15,"I almost relapsed tonight I used to be addicted to self-harm. When I was 14, I attempted suicide, and my life has been mostly downhill from there until recently, but during that time I was constantly depressed and I eventually self-harmed. It wasn't like punishing myself, but it gave me an adrenaline rush, and it was something to distract me from feeling like garbage.

Eventually I came to rely on it just to feel my usual garbage self, I would do it twice or three times a week, I would feel exhausted and irritable if I hadn't done it in a week. Sometimes I would last a whole week and a half managing to force myself not too, but even when things were better, I would still get the urge to and give in to that urge.

I've been clean for about a year and 2 months now, but sometimes (like now) I'll feel down, and I'll get the urge to self-harm again. I seriously almost went to the kitchen and attempted to cut off my own finger tonight. It's 1:30AM and it's so cold here and I hate my body and there's no one else around to cuddle up to. I am not safe. I am not safe from myself.",3.9613513513513534,4.660026846846852,4.745963963963966,87.3967837837838,71.07207207207206,8.262342342342341,26.962162162162162,8.447377352677275,1.555641081081081,848,27,187,13,15,274,118,222,0.183,0.759,0.058,-0.9808,0,0,1,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,0,3,15,13,3,1,9,0,18,7,2,1,0,38,30,22,1,5,10,0,5,3,0,4,3,0,2,1,11,14,1,2,4,0,0,3,6,7,0,4,12,6,25,6,26,13,3,30,0,1,0,1,3,7,0,5,23,131,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13004184293348267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388999811225177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106191868049639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550079801259277,0.0,0.13250239777581746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643402417919512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890826277595585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274282876634352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207333594800288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965005895867614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078788790038104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412629730982439,0.08521957770014414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464641541769547,0.11443219674888525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177724893381448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723587696317304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425684649583443,0.17483469798128287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521477443063757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083283202472005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778279462250765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4977748061339282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183395299013086,0.2359583365930838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526378191398048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13048202720500546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924983888268468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391159215462104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302678169575544,0.13137919772487774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28705761091725746,0.0,0.0,0.11058143926544188,0.0,0.1331811149563199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389559126394246,0.0,0.0,0.0768177472793598
mentalhealth,Kiwi332211,2019/04/15,"Helping those close to you who are struggling I feel like in this day and age we are all taught to recognise when someone is struggling mentally but there is very little around on how to help them - if you have any ideas, links or tips on helping those around you I'd love to hear them!",4.452368421052633,5.53914436842105,3.6306578947368418,94.41335526315792,70.2280701754386,6.401754385964912,26.530701754385966,5.985473137389443,0.6288280701754383,227,7,49,1,4,66,43,57,0.056,0.71,0.234,0.9184,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,3,2,0,5,4,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,1,13,9,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,7,2,9,8,1,10,0,0,0,1,12,7,0,2,4,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15113327562882622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956878619627205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433287424774218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237304671882782,0.1587708791494915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504847002635577,0.0,0.4468956205882677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250885983724181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857700172291576,0.22274648237331496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200583534690536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239692862852676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18830628925953447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4646745501611935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833742532055232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Wumboing12,2019/04/15,I can't take another panic attack. I'm not doing this anymore. Just had a panic attack a minute ago. I'm not going to have another one. I'm done. I don't know what to do. I can't do this anymore.,-2.515714285714285,-0.8037664444444417,1.8638095238095247,93.15,102.33333333333331,4.34920634920635,15.317460317460318,6.18269132825596,-0.3305873015873013,150,4,35,2,7,57,25,45,0.149,0.721,0.13,-0.2013,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,2,2,0,9,0,0,0,0,4,15,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,2,0,3,0,2,13,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688569594730406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4421416485392456,0.0,0.0,0.4181680949909382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796930182636793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574954299419516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981802278084043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586517982444262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286204626773127,0.0,0.0,0.494720862483705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851590461695694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fiveidontknow,2019/04/15,"I can’t eat/no appetite Hi, 

I am having trouble with eating atm especially because I am really depressed/anxious. Just thinking about the fact that I have to open my mouth and swallow is tiring to me. It seems like eating is such an effort now. Nothing tastes the same anymore. I’m so anxious all the time because of uni. I take medication and I go to therapy and still this happens. I try and eat little bits but it’s a lot of effort making the food, putting it on a plate, cutting it, opening my mouth and swallowing - even walking down the stairs and opening the fridge is a lot. I’m just afraid because I’ve lost 6kg since starting uni in March (weight rn 54kg, height 170cm). I can’t get myself to eat anything. Everything is either too much of an effort or makes me feel ill. Today all I’ve had is two coffees and a bite of bread. I know I shouldn’t have coffee when I’m anxious but I’m so tired at the same time. It makes no sense.  I can have liquids such as coffee but nothing else really. Sigh. Having depression is the worst.",1.218884331419197,3.51019398113208,2.921763740771123,90.5321780147662,83.24528301886792,5.196390484003281,23.368334700574238,6.498293943080001,0.6712421657095975,812,30,166,8,23,268,124,212,0.173,0.8190000000000001,0.008,-0.9874,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,12,8,1,1,14,0,18,16,2,3,3,33,35,15,0,1,7,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,7,11,10,0,4,0,1,3,4,6,1,1,2,3,16,1,15,32,10,21,0,2,0,0,1,10,0,4,9,103,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588988974880351,0.11363842030078865,0.0,0.0,0.09429443039910852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20955149894406436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250981227257833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869266572523944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5862498983862018,0.09572181412948097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756829046999521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298241624943193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793807276324084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855772225141985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05986640215369336,0.0,0.06512180625675745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10132793084937528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297341265790157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055980881625262734,0.11484517222170128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508404312431182,0.19483366507083905,0.0,0.0,0.22946092932835505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154332368154207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423381918116342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21989651835143065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115190475956469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681332032406386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043146976579403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478663861837598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110448811361644,0.0,0.09150844586477297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615433462761828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310389602010748,0.0,0.0,0.07342201642620061,0.0,0.0,0.1336319167680573,0.26339926612074405,0.10861403277687263,0.0,0.0,0.07779630287560077,0.0,0.11193377200338216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395347536940343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,JasonGrant5598,2019/04/15,"Need advice.. I have a mental illness I think it's bipolar or something similar, but I have these mood swings that will last for weeks on end. Like right now im transitioning from superconfident happy energetic and even super intelegent. To a mildepression groggy tired sleeping for 13 or 14 hours at a time I cant focus loss of intrest. The real problem isn't that I couldn't get help it's that Im addicted to the weeks that im on top of the world it's like a drug almost like im on cocaine or something I dont even sleep that much mabey 2-3 hours a night for a week or 2, im not even sure how it's possible but its ruining my life I cant hold a relation ship and it's hard at work feeling like two different people. Right now im on the downtrend and am probly gonna crash for a day please help.",1.6372286821705444,3.2581290406976784,3.837813953488372,87.9707519379845,78.36046511627906,7.144806201550387,23.675968992248073,8.021203637495839,1.182633643410853,633,21,141,11,15,218,101,172,0.139,0.659,0.202,0.9257,1,0,4,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,4,6,11,0,0,12,0,9,8,2,1,1,20,14,10,0,3,7,0,2,4,0,2,6,0,0,0,12,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,0,2,8,7,15,11,1,22,0,2,0,0,2,10,0,5,16,74,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116106378405542,0.0,0.1000457396871514,0.0,0.0,0.1025199992237086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602741474954221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696658033924387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999002304941855,0.0,0.11872970706395734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906793693180723,0.0,0.0,0.2028654834275837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051767019190463726,0.07314116140664748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348995990630377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089867085598714,0.0917134601160957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372479424122198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016497499293992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.663535694082097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834543559521573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723148808698746,0.2000731633056793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317618574687384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526197414015308,0.07591437464491713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607783603684752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097824440953278,0.0,0.0,0.11238383103387298,0.0,0.11541943835758355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979649971475628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165322382902768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486599869770802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20491030965056406,0.0,0.0,0.15763612445712175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649308476406078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656017494553104,0.0,0.0,0.059699310573025015,0.11767214729204525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001157178697903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463721086131389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453474484647428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BIGxBOSSxx1,2019/04/15,"Finding a job with social anxiety and depression When I was 16, I got my first job at a movie theater during a summer where I was very depressed. I thought to myself ""If I get a job, I can keep my mind busy, and I can get money and with that gain more freedom to do things that make me feel happy"". I was wrong, because although I knew I had social anxiety before I got that job, working at that theater made me realize how severe it is. It drove me to feeling suicidal for months. Even after I caved and quit, it made me even more depressed because I was guilty. Guilty for letting my coworkers/managers down, guilty of disappointing my parents for getting a job and not even lasting 2 months, and guilty for myself for not having the emotional strength to get through it and tough it out. Flash forward to last year when I was 19 and the same issue occurred. Got a job as a stocker at Walmart.  It was a carbon copy of what had happened at the movie theater. Driven to suicidal thoughts again.   


I'm 20 now, and I'm going to community college without financial aid, having to rely on my parents to pay for my semesters. My parents unintentionally make me feel guilty for what I am now and I constantly feel like at my age I should have my shit together.  I know I'm an adult now and I feel pathetic for being unemployed and having no money, especially when my friends all live pretty much independently with jobs and school.   


I sometimes wish I can find a therapist to talk to but my parents would not be able to afford one so now I'm here.",5.037980132450329,5.856526009933777,5.889066225165564,79.73565231788079,68.70198675496688,8.556556291390729,32.649668874172185,8.697196308434329,2.6312431788079467,1213,53,232,19,20,399,153,302,0.138,0.807,0.055,-0.9463,14,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,6,15,11,1,0,13,0,23,1,1,6,1,48,53,22,2,4,6,4,5,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,13,17,0,1,12,0,3,4,5,7,0,2,18,5,39,4,37,30,5,31,0,4,0,0,9,10,1,1,20,167,52,13,0.08076535428543798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357054992772815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846762067097403,0.0,0.06872536784748302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727865556479243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086892438982444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085015285162476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600342643680027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418694927043696,0.05769878523919774,0.0,0.0,0.147636141258257,0.06869896909619319,0.0,0.0,0.0623991123738057,0.0,0.16878625658829738,0.0,0.0459008120787343,0.0,0.19378629563277305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142053606293418,0.0859762214625092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429804637619243,0.5610300628078229,0.07178795783276737,0.0,0.0,0.044386526518787835,0.13166908670174474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258804677702909,0.0,0.03945787248824075,0.0,0.07131728752392602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15284426209890214,0.10782300227756804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154998421385241,0.0,0.12893227048842135,0.0,0.05937182838056593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05472869428761061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587214719948058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216740097727944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590389588652911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173885039334004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124186139843647,0.08290447554467448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466021534621245,0.0,0.0,0.07987900055305981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17668837768164694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491613243738914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937748013145312,0.05365691261722025,0.0,0.0,0.1282373394500387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663987571764753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928761715364778,0.07785491941277345,0.0,0.05879813983052585,0.0,0.0,0.05737339041315548,0.08830423615340244,0.0,0.052010240163666656
mentalhealth,Shayanne1204,2019/04/15,"Losing all interest in my passions - school related I’m on my last year of undergraduate school and I’m exhausted. I’m currently a biomedical science major and have always loved (mostly) everything science and medical related but I’m at loss now. 

In high school, I over exhausted myself especially my senior year. I was president of the science national honor society, held positions in two other clubs, took 6 AP/AICE classes and did this MAJOR project for a scholarship where we did a year long research paper and presented it to an audience. Mine was on the effects of psychoactive drugs on adolescents. After graduation, I had a summer off and went straight into college. 

I’ve spent EVERY SINGLE SEMESTER in school, full time, including summer. I’ve always taken summer classes because 1) I needed to for financial aid purposes and 2) I wanted to finish quicker. I’m technically supposed to graduate this semester but due to me taking on a minor in psychology and failing classes, I’m pushed on a year. I’m only doing school work and haven’t gotten involved really at all.

But here’s my problem, I’ve always loved this field and I don’t know what else I could major in. But because of how drained I am, how exhausted I am, I’ve been losing motivation and that dedication for awhile now. I’ve lost the confidence in myself and I feel like I’m trying to accept failure as my option. I don’t believe in myself because at this point, I’ve failed certain classes multiple times and just feel like I’m wasting my time and money now for a biomed degree that will be useless to me because no one will accept me with my academic history for graduate school. Granted my overall GPA is a 3.2, but my science GPA isn’t too hot. But 30k in debt and continuing, and not a real chance or shot at medical school, let alone PA school i feel so discouraged and so helpless that I feel myself shutting down. I have an exam at 10:30 for immunology - a class I’m retaking and need to pass but so far I’m not - and I haven’t studied at all. I’m so overwhelmed that I’ve ultimately shut down and I’m just telling myself “well better luck next time” because at this point, why try when I’ve already failed? Something I was sooooo passionate about, I’ve just lost all interest in. 

Not to mention, I’ve also suffered with depression and anxiety, went through a hard break up about 3 months ago - who was my first love - so I’m even feeling alone. I was thriving when I was in the relationship because I was working on myself to build a future for us but when I’m alone, I just don’t find the motivation because it’s like I don’t care about myself so I’ve given up. And honestly I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should take a break from school for a bit and then come back? Just push through because its my last year and it’s too late to switch? I don’t know man",4.461356462762488,5.818275213903747,5.900352158601803,77.13078648754406,70.47950089126559,9.109534368070953,31.329985652797703,9.500547302748984,3.0184003391156917,2269,99,419,51,41,768,251,561,0.153,0.7020000000000001,0.145,-0.5198,2,3,2,0,0,0,55.0,2,0,0,16,32,37,0,1,21,0,34,11,0,5,5,81,78,48,0,7,18,1,7,3,0,3,6,0,0,1,17,29,0,2,15,1,4,7,14,18,1,3,21,7,49,19,65,51,11,86,0,14,0,5,12,41,0,5,39,262,66,34,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058776467706281726,0.0,0.0,0.2060197563297464,0.07317056801216404,0.05302506411579714,0.16551627245264258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050724080578601394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098539412740863,0.0,0.3233572742514359,0.0,0.0,0.07470440951750983,0.0,0.05864246762690165,0.07238922445511581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760361538807089,0.0,0.0,0.05711694161747461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294012521504073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710945436742036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07689417007844232,0.0,0.05539034269490065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0437946362132803,0.0,0.055865854262347116,0.0,0.059591759511462436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676320980031242,0.09473836066837,0.0,0.0,0.060602688341821524,0.056400041047647974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059397353661881785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005616709637635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457606686421657,0.1080968461737256,0.07479630980993555,0.0,0.0,0.06780260736878542,0.0,0.0971816167229628,0.0,0.0,0.05867892252236238,0.0,0.14835941042853798,0.14476215431829134,0.0,0.1795318702848163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335930916841775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292499613590537,0.0,0.0,0.09833045123576983,0.0,0.0,0.07051742243420042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04493081402696709,0.05042887192748998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536162923785335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344610240081675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547100024332737,0.0424774655541216,0.0,0.0,0.07118807115621832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6039489558897403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05104577137541035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970805846240594,0.0,0.057954563148581786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465477189445465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366865561277512,0.09003514853671478,0.0,0.06477154707926376,0.0,0.07975822451320877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03910912939511731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961725926400105,0.12293306959603913,0.059831054720199076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654344289573233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21349517457980133
mentalhealth,Desadarius,2019/04/15,"Am I going schizophrenic or mentally ill in some way? Constantly worried about people watching and judging me. I’ve made this a lot better recently, seems more like insecurity than anything else but I don’t know. 

Hearing clicking/cracking sounds in my head when I move it/tense it up. I can seem to make them disappear if I tell myself they aren’t real. Then again I could just be moving a muscle somehow. 

In the past, due to drama, I have worried about friends conspiring against me and trying to “undermine” me. 

Starting to worry about if I’m hallucinating things or if they’re real. But this could be (it honestly probably is) paranoia because of that head cracking stuff and me worrying about going schizophrenic.

No voices in my head or visual hallucinations.

I spend a lot of time on my own watching YouTube and movies, but this isn’t new. I do go out and have a good circle of friends. I have angry outbursts sometimes (especially when I get drunk at parties), have anxiety issues that I’m working on, and can have some minor depression at times. I feel like I’m hiding behind a mask a lot of the time and trying to make myself act normal or acceptable. Then again, most teens act like that. 

When I’m on my own, I can act very strange at times and frequently have tick-like outbursts where ill say random gibberish and spaz out in bizarre ways. It’s satisfying to me, like I’m releasing built up energy. This isn’t new, and I have full conscious control over it. But the desire to do it remains. 

In the past I had delusions that I was special and above others and unique in some form and would change the world in some way. Then again, a lot of people have these beliefs, and it could just stem from how I was raised, believing I was special and not another one of the crowd. These delusions I have since silenced and don’t believe anymore. 

I’m just worried about this maybe being something that could develop into something worse. 

Now that I’ve written this I think I’m just being paranoid, but I’ll still post it. 

Age 19.",4.550076923076921,6.241712058974365,5.062051282051282,81.92461538461541,70.71794871794873,7.866666666666667,29.92307692307693,8.447377352677275,2.2765230769230764,1613,66,299,26,30,515,193,390,0.147,0.731,0.122,-0.7659,1,0,2,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,2,3,20,14,0,1,13,0,34,8,3,5,0,69,56,35,0,10,17,0,1,4,2,1,4,4,0,0,24,19,1,1,8,2,1,9,7,2,0,1,6,7,33,12,42,41,14,61,1,1,2,0,8,23,0,20,29,209,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882958236984451,0.06441625836526467,0.0,0.08350829765442735,0.0,0.0,0.06929317866335025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513303185707604,0.0,0.0,0.18973940935400724,0.0,0.07447209102149334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907725996677557,0.0,0.0,0.0909952157682038,0.09444257474897373,0.2689219593409577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252526464093234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034210547091696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04257635589292865,0.06015575490282861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011246925048464,0.0,0.04399340748769261,0.0,0.1435661768164911,0.07062679035572869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25925451651250503,0.0,0.0949046595741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788768421329801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046276624354964144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455237984990745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863508248842793,0.0,0.07967639120137822,0.11241439609182838,0.0,0.08459479896425191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485839194007612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899224380327314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265057863893045,0.0,0.0,0.0825025910468223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705918947979428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076556203543796,0.11675367992570215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064469274469897,0.0,0.09078675819049034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916864493275819,0.0,0.0,0.08314184505833085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696284629636952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15331333889882345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965488265724375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964956919336748,0.08328046351811877,0.0,0.059600421376632275,0.0,0.06724587085021702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963940760988611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735984974126864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055941768459471866,0.0539548823881782,0.0,0.0,0.19640142571607255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11433873860185233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947758109303141,0.0,0.20051298236488396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06130192297331871,0.4275690932753699,0.08581164102732987,0.05981650388877521,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SpamPham,2019/04/15,"I am looking for an online therapist who understands Indian culture I am not sure this is the place to ask but if it is not, tell me so I can delete this post, and perhaps migrate this post  
Anyway.  
 

So I met this girl online (on Instagram) who is clearly having a bad time.

She lives in an Indian culture (for example her family doesn't believe in the existence of 'anxiety and depression') ,and is very well educated.  
Today I am asking for any therapist that are able to empathize with a girl growing up in such society and are willing to talk to her/ provide her with advice. Like an online helpline of some sorts.  
I am not really verse in online therapy nor suitable to provide actual help to her.  
 I know its kinda a stretch, but I am wondering if it's free, since we have it free in Australia. Sorry for sounding like a choosing beggar. If online services costs money, then please tell me so I can delete this post  


If you are willingly or know someone, please tell me.  


P.S she is seeing a paid therapist in June, but I suggest she seeks an therapist online in the mean time to think her thoughts out.",5.393058350100604,6.243180032863853,6.353900067069082,76.60658450704227,67.92018779342723,9.841582830315225,32.58517773306506,9.957137785484203,3.3131008718980555,869,37,158,20,14,289,119,213,0.043,0.8079999999999999,0.149,0.9772,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,1,0,0,6,8,0,0,12,0,20,0,0,0,2,32,33,17,0,4,11,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,2,12,8,0,0,8,0,6,1,5,2,1,0,3,3,23,8,25,28,1,21,0,1,2,0,25,12,0,9,7,116,35,1,0.11741634014519513,0.0,0.11458141047101868,0.0,0.0,0.11473788866423153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984713767660022,0.0,0.0898231788284185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953685598986436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803773953743357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228800717175487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113052171520794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068967570222316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870169776909826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905789968244805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472738573302695,0.0,0.10368077951528007,0.0,0.09860015366104227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790081619773855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226750846576423,0.2577757640284677,0.0,0.0,0.3373571909545758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752199141142334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935656211509151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712800991508512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948648397459822,0.0,0.0,0.13143797977519142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106635110215386,0.0,0.0,0.09437480655679244,0.3078811698647532,0.0,0.13427581789154186,0.5453176830887904,0.0,0.0752356497010226,0.0,0.09321545854281857,0.13693282435171644,0.0,0.11129696132535156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223455100078814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688077745370097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557139092610064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733301224172874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NordicMind,2019/04/15,"Does chamomile tea really treats anxiety? I have found this site which says that the people who were under chamomile tea treatment for 8weeks had produced significantly better results than the people under placebo. To me it implies that chamomile indeed has a relaxing effect that mildly treats anxiety symptoms. But I'm not sure if this source is reliable?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/27912875/?i=2&from=/29057164/related",12.199687500000005,15.880578343750004,7.655125000000003,62.977375000000016,54.625,10.745,39.3625,10.793553405168565,5.33656625,370,17,41,9,5,99,52,64,0.09,0.8079999999999999,0.101,0.4061,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,3,0,5,3,0,3,1,8,7,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,2,5,5,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,26,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237720730088086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457193991980471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264282600769695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26149998357641435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276414428710803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4143292575374549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143217407172253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376341919691542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816349467388522,0.3105890943530433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,user420123,2019/04/15,"looking for advice on my mental state Heres a little background:
vaped at 12. Smoked weed at 13. Adderall  vyvanse at 14. Alcohol xanax amphetamines benzos at 15. Acid dxm cough syrup at 16 
.
I have been going to therapists since i was like 12, my parents got divorced. Tough shit, no one cares it doesnt matter. When i was 13 i would hold my breath to try and kill myself. I have anti depressants but i would rather just smoke a bowl(of weed). Last year right before my birthday i went to the mental hospital and they said i was crazy, in a psychotic trip i had 5 things in my system.

anyways the whole reason i wrote this is because im planning on killing myself soon. i dont know when but soon, i just need to leave. Sometimes i will just stair at the wall and ask it to kill me. Why cant i just die. Why cant i just be wiped from everyones memory of my existance and let me just not exist.

Anyways just wanted to hear what reddit wants to say, im probably putting myself into the hospital next monday. I have been thinking about suicide daily for even the smallest thing. If i cant find my vape sometimes i will throw chairs.",2.4531428571428613,4.565130466666666,3.4827936507936528,89.17600000000002,77.66666666666666,6.241269841269841,23.6031746031746,7.2636822038024595,0.9471841269841264,885,29,178,11,21,284,141,225,0.159,0.805,0.035,-0.9795,1,1,3,0,1,4,26.0,0,0,1,1,17,8,4,0,8,0,21,5,2,1,0,29,35,9,5,7,12,1,0,1,0,4,3,3,0,0,6,5,1,1,4,0,0,5,7,6,0,1,10,5,31,2,23,19,1,30,0,1,1,0,8,15,1,1,9,116,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198909477576037,0.0,0.13111796918723898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146983007913521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479049791054478,0.0,0.10439989197207757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509031855569794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567245255086297,0.0,0.12733253082703372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379140610921007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103538491991387,0.0,0.0,0.11723525913424457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112136156424377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972737975131836,0.0,0.09812615517571474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13828020049774145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650518435643047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072139009750248,0.0,0.06742704649993253,0.10000847473257796,0.0,0.1299106695851624,0.0,0.12545852327544146,0.0,0.05993998656161741,0.1229673038326878,0.0,0.0,0.10302844168643734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24728470665294905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097285254790102,0.0,0.0,0.1304818800797063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313771101348366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623238440656066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322802397844229,0.0,0.0,0.12333702829255255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614543804380304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477632720796687,0.11670599342271225,0.0975677680454841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593920646701562,0.10149018164877244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24268648651205105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420261048017915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424521895418075,0.16301916035501166,0.07861460109494413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329824778612786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473111907960154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373457431621195,0.22141672901694395,0.136978660407518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743104751217313,0.0,0.0,0.07900813956469015
mentalhealth,JayaYellowAnt,2019/04/15,"How You Can Boost Your Mental Health at Work  We spend a large part of our lives working, and how we feel often affects how we do at work. Here is a list of small steps you can take to help your mental well being in the long run:  [https://blog.zenduty.com/blog/2019/04/15/How-You-Can-Boost-Your-Mental-health](https://blog.zenduty.com/blog/2019/04/15/How-You-Can-Boost-Your-Mental-health)",18.271933333333337,21.58376686,9.318,57.94233333333335,40.40000000000001,7.466666666666668,22.66666666666667,6.42735559955562,0.2646666666666668,333,3,43,1,3,78,38,50,0.0,0.857,0.14300000000000002,0.7579,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,4,4,0,3,6,1,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,4,0,10,7,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,8,1,6,6,1,7,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,1,1,30,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426873153547841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5314580589162774,0.0,0.0,0.11170925227874366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14716458073509134,0.14748960454864482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6718197364672395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804774556649333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12530821529084002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498481160721823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36399324329012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Dante_Infern0,2019/04/15,"Just wanna vent how I feel I guess Hi. I am 16 year old guy in high school. I'm just writing with what comes to my head so sorry if it seems a bit choppy or something. I have wonderful friends and a loving family. I am not diagnosed with anything, i just want to write down what I am feeling because I don't know how to really think about it myself. All I do is just sit around on my computer all day when I get home till about 2-3 am then I go to sleep and wake up at 7 for school. On the weekends I sleep till 2 pm and basically fall asleep around the same time as the weekdays. I know I have a sleeping problem but I digress. I really don't know how to describe how I feel, but the closest I can get is just empty. I have this thing where I just want to go back to when I was younger and had that ""spark"" as someone would say. Really I wonder if my emotional state is just a subconscious cry for attention or if I actually have a problem. Is what I'm feeling teenage angst? Should I see a therapist? I just don't know. I have had an easy life so far. I haven't had to try terribly hard in school and not work hard on much. There are so many times where I want to cry but I can't. I just don't know why. I don't have a reason to feel bad. Why do I feel this way? I guess it doesn't help that I hate the way I look. I'm chubby, I'm losing my hair (for whatever reason), and my hairline is complete shit. I'm just glad that my school allows hats so that I can hide my hair. My hair is my biggest point of anxiety. This post is getting too long so I'm just going to wrap it up. Feel free to dm me if anyone has anything to say.",1.0115966386554618,2.300583535014006,3.0986190476190494,94.04221428571432,79.19607843137254,6.5527170868347335,21.703921568627447,7.3011,0.4414587114845943,1250,35,307,16,30,425,166,357,0.133,0.774,0.092,-0.9535,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,2,31,11,2,0,13,0,37,13,10,7,2,72,75,31,0,12,22,0,12,0,1,2,2,2,1,1,15,11,0,0,19,1,1,5,10,7,0,0,4,16,47,5,37,69,5,41,0,1,2,1,9,18,1,11,13,198,62,6,0.0,0.0,0.0846427483987375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663535271096322,0.0,0.0,0.060648490135454425,0.0,0.14275423396620335,0.1544285444104656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669535835520847,0.07242172781026139,0.052874037879039625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946942815431553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471619969851563,0.09094203877787356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905529270365514,0.05593815530044253,0.0,0.0,0.08803617549165035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756739099534964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176787431998721,0.0,0.3069976461945389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701275015663312,0.0,0.13594942474742328,0.0,0.1478838176443369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19110105204534072,0.0858832143763429,0.0,0.0,0.15539853542882118,0.08563477803961944,0.08901713131780413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058137947293886535,0.09164234678286803,0.08700423002342586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23834178875058315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126487084154832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675946871660251,0.07283719029204458,0.0970364573349402,0.0,0.0,0.07828348117962733,0.0,0.0,0.08793765044079417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376163618762555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101583523945557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199445085309931,0.0,0.08307001899956375,0.0,0.0,0.16599108855722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16669772798501398,0.17836005524053888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379534033743325,0.0,0.3511296844535697,0.06911811695538198,0.07896205901317031,0.0,0.0,0.08903422973808454,0.0,0.0,0.2603987624089392,0.0,0.07349193379205993,0.06677433944892942,0.0,0.0970949110018489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007082808138882,0.057624173527562876,0.05557753340686896,0.0,0.0,0.10115402272921424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058888693507151875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534790960004769,0.1376955026450887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15653320734804652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18812503832383984,0.06314553050905032,0.0,0.0,0.061615438603734536,0.0,0.0,0.055855750139442384
mentalhealth,DreamDr,2019/04/15,"My Intensely Euphoric Experience with Schitzoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type. I want to share one of the worst days of my life that was brought because of Schitzoaffective disorder. 

I've always been a rational thinker and optimistic type but I've gone through being nihilistic to being depressed to thinking that I was the single savior the earth secretly had because of this disease that was plaguing my mind at the following event I'm about to describe. There was a point in time where I was even diluted enough to think I single-handedly solved the mystery of the existence of God and the existence of soul mates. One of the worst parts was that I was traveling out of state to Portland, Oregon when I was in this existential manic episode and ended up in the psychiatric ward over there because of it.

I remember days prior to flying there vividly. I remember I was talking to one of my best friends about the fact that I thought that I didn't know what was going to happen after going to the concert that we planned to attend because I had rationalized that after seeing this concert that I was going to was going to change my life forever for the better. What I didn't tell my friend was that I had convinced myself that I was going to run off with the singer and live my days in hiding and that I'd secretly get compensation somehow by being some sort of real super ""hero"" behind the scenes. I don't really know how, but I was just convinced it was just going to happen that way. 

I remember the day of heading off to Portland. Taking a shower even felt strange. I didn't do the usual things afterwards like shave or comb my hair properly. I thought I was perfect. I didn't pack any of the clothes I needed for 3 nights of being at Portland. I had relied on what my other best friend has given me to borrow on this trip. 

The plane ride there was another trip as well. I remember being the only one sitting in my row on the right side of the plane. With each moment that passed I  succumbed  to the new delusion that I was proving god's existence in my mind when in reality I was overthinking. I don't quite remember what exactly was bringing me to that conclusion, but it was all too real and the feeling was euphoric. This was the point that I came to the conclusion that god wanted me here to meet my soulmate, the singer that I was going to see. The next delusion was worse than that in my opinion. I convinced myself that I could telepathically communicate with this singer. I remember telling this person what love I felt for them in my mind. I was composed, confident, and thought I was the most invincible one on the plane. 

I just couldn't wait to meet her in person. I didn't do anything crazy like jump out of my seat but I do remember having the direction and the conviction of actually running off with said person.

I remember the day before the concert. I spent almost two hours in the shower trying to convince myself that I wasn't going crazy and that this girl was going to actually meet me inside this restroom in spirit, whatever that meant. My friend was telling me to hurry up and reminded me of the time I was inside of the restroom. For an instant I was snapped into reality and turned off the water. I realized how much water I had spilled out of the tub and only then had I started becoming only slightly concerned for myself. I told myself that I didn't care how much I suffered that night, I was going to see her the next day. At this point, it would have honestly been better to have just taken me to the hospital that night. In bed I remember attempting to fall asleep and not being able to. I popped in headphones and listened to her music and you can only imagine how much euphoria I felt. I began to hallucinate colors on the ceiling with the colors changing to the beat of the music. The lyrics felt as though they were being spoken to only me. After listening to the whole album, I finally fell asleep.

I remember being at the concert so vividly. The concert was held in a church. I was fine at this point. There was nothing in my mind going on other than the fact that I was still convinced that I had some sort of metaphysical connection to this person and that I felt God was literally going to be there attending the concert with me in spirit as well. My friend and I pulled out our tickets and sat down. She finally came out in all of her grandeur after the girl opening for her. She was beautiful. She was everything I had envisioned. One could only imagine the euphoria I was engulfed in when she started singing. One could also only imagine that I'd be jumping out of my seat but I did tell myself that I was going to be the most composed person there. On a side note in the aftermath of this event, my friend told me that I did have trouble sitting still in the event. I don't remember this fact.

After the concert was over, she spoke about being in the back selling her album to fans that wanted to buy. I did want to talk to her and so we got up and I waited in line. For some reason, the security of the establishment was telling me to leave. I didn't know why. It turned out that my friend was telling me to leave because of the fact that I was making others very uncomfortable. Security saw that my friend was struggling so she asked me to leave. After I had refused, she began talking to my friend. I have him to thank for the next moment. In the next moment I was being called by somebody behind me. I turned out the singer from the concert had noticed me and asked me if I had wanted a picture. I'm not sure she took notice of the ordeal or that I was the only one left in the line. I took the picture with the permission of my friend and the guard. As I look at the picture now, I'm not proud of what I see. In the image stands me and her. She's smiling and I'm as rugged and scruffy as I could look. I see the guard and my friend leaving and so I follow. 

As I walk outside, I succumb to another delusion. I thought that I could control time itself and replay the concert. I try to convince my friend that the concert isn't over and that it's barely starting. My friend doesn't know what to do at this point. He tries to get me to get in the car and fails. Security catches this scene unfolding and had called the mental health services. I didn't know it at this point and after a few moments pass, I'm met standing with two medics that tell me that they've received a call. I play ignorant for a moment until another person that tells me that I have a history of mental illness and asks if I could follow him into the ambulance. Surprisingly I do so. I later find myself spending the night at a psychiatric ward. I'm completely oblivious to the situation. There were many things going through my mind, none relating to that singer anymore. 

I was just wondering if I was okay.

In summery of this whole situation. I put my friend through hell because of what I was later diagnosed with. I had made a fool of myself with a person I had admired as a singer. She and other know who I am because of those events. I wish I could take it all back and redo the damage I had done, which was just refusing to leave. Though, even doing that made an impact with what I could do involving supporting her in the future. The people involved with this singer won't even let me support her on patreon because they're afraid of what I might do. I'm harmless. I just needed help at that time. I can't listen to her music anymore without feeling guilt. More importantly I regret putting my friend through that. I wish I had sought help earlier. 

This just goes to show that if you think you're losing it. Talk to somebody. At that moment, there's nothing more important in the world than to do that.",4.92993107387662,5.9824888158415845,5.6688077557755765,80.36601437547603,69.0924092409241,8.493589743589743,30.144865448083266,8.758847970516838,2.3737759583650684,6136,236,1157,101,104,2000,471,1515,0.09,0.779,0.131,0.9969,2,0,0,0,0,0,119.0,3,2,2,17,50,65,1,3,100,1,136,14,4,9,11,196,248,71,0,24,23,0,8,2,16,3,7,15,4,9,101,64,2,12,45,15,5,45,22,15,2,10,118,35,203,50,221,104,25,196,5,6,12,1,97,83,1,18,64,893,304,4,0.0312868562430798,0.0,0.06106291701994904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0313292671504236,0.0,0.0,0.02502008763396109,0.026033170732039708,0.0,0.0,0.02127613511730992,0.09842099016635543,0.0,0.0,0.06205630872814968,0.0,0.0,0.02574641687513624,0.0,0.08774696151641641,0.0,0.0,0.048115322457093136,0.0,0.15257741737344604,0.034553874637025785,0.02662281027701332,0.0,0.06566725076295059,0.05534136369519969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584213491325527,0.07156765725695527,0.03189903509948271,0.0,0.06619469083217272,0.0,0.03280367351351927,0.0,0.035090869651998875,0.19984007100349052,0.0,0.0,0.1210646038784898,0.0,0.026947323437085082,0.031755500503575916,0.0,0.0,0.07171489564135368,0.0,0.0,0.03201731650114318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02771086820044402,0.03232768600295253,0.0,0.08265869390074165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028118609003143686,0.030604548882755107,0.0,0.0,0.03163914916269494,0.0,0.15020144213801662,0.06854644344968508,0.028595619796983468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36258221284501374,0.0,0.049038273208916336,0.0,0.2489345797235823,0.0,0.025022957046301586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05533372729865195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03210934076364453,0.033256465147037964,0.0,0.0,0.04194184048222276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03081125114217361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316662781531437,0.0,0.0,0.1656413164800288,0.03399326085221207,0.03199293025791308,0.044197663653501584,0.030570355200433882,0.0,0.02762686726441766,0.0,0.05254615889617893,0.0350019892681182,0.0,0.0,0.028237609279802317,0.05920875972347664,0.02088421948867604,0.03171996156421825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03151821612068663,0.06305958469180345,0.03319041025301342,0.15795402962680086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899831775144541,0.046397614939855385,0.0,0.030217040720307783,0.13309570622464295,0.1174423806174549,0.0,0.060041164752828335,0.07124058640126657,0.0,0.0,0.1696062680041174,0.1903605121007981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03388061642937172,0.0,0.02169036673636713,0.19122933256808533,0.0,0.0,0.1774571517321065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06290386402394871,0.0,0.033277422789773074,0.0,0.07122258393830751,0.020043161255057517,0.032168099036435,0.0,0.0,0.3898610002681617,0.026718804283111956,0.02976096490515748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465786851400767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033547457022292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643499364425165,0.0,0.049971447621206616,0.0,0.0,0.03270781525004899,0.0,0.0,0.07100790739725256,0.029487491744368075,0.0,0.04704764439498894,0.1005887596925464,0.2187687310436965,0.02880473370692426,0.0,0.0,0.04157119414271287,0.0601420625180403,0.0614783548135605,0.09935307632499986,0.07297446991029154,0.0,0.0,0.059791863818063215,0.06952169695759447,0.06372516499760884,0.1020933460366091,0.06112542478294194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03445805197799625,0.025814933025195184,0.09226899213331094,0.024834050202470256,0.0,0.0,0.05626128232582377,0.0,0.02823152140019242,0.06986131535469667,0.07195668125220663,0.030159412944260274,0.033929260987686415,0.0,0.0,0.0318839794226054,0.022225285011324872,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RIPtyson,2019/04/15,"It's always something, ain't it? For those(myself included) who suffer from multiple mental health problems, everyday is different and changing, and sometimes, every moment. From panic attacks, to compulsive actions, to thought loops, to derealization, to depression, to suicidal ideation, to low self esteem and self loathing, to angry outbursts, to social paranoia, etc....It never seems to end. And gos forbid I feel fine, because that just means the next day/moment, is going to work overtime to make up for time lost. Fuck this is confusing. Just needed to vent.",7.042978723404257,9.891904095744682,6.441436170212767,69.80875,66.55319148936171,8.529787234042553,36.21808510638297,9.188382445141503,4.0285361702127656,451,23,60,9,8,139,71,94,0.355,0.63,0.015,-0.9898,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,2,2,11,2,2,1,0,4,2,0,1,1,16,13,4,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,4,0,1,4,0,0,2,2,10,0,0,2,1,1,1,17,11,0,10,0,4,0,1,4,2,1,2,6,35,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210940113239788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20796844111751034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143696162622796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19338471837074456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789487460590775,0.0,0.1574507105694723,0.0,0.0,0.1909935687161725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191203177724076,0.0,0.20387723353638515,0.0,0.0,0.15402210628009644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243230647953933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16900138445916935,0.0,0.0,0.10389297516027847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19431444019497124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995545598662329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202455675637056,0.0,0.0,0.19912954122257884,0.0,0.0,0.1842256512250902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554847957469754,0.14099140963233187,0.0,0.19441646558834086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21448368569436094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749208430814733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641989704491306,0.3814134663724695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863478976527279,0.0,0.14073314241311022,0.18080000427991885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19996031009322648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451277016542759,0.1065957642104218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308508944035766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iamtiffanyred,2019/04/15,"I Used To Have Panic Attack’s Everyday. This Is How I Stopped Them We get so ahead of ourselves. The key is to slow down. Be present. The only thing that is real is what or who is in front of you right now. We often live most of our lives in our heads. Our imaginations paint pictures of a reality that’s not your reality at all. No medication will ever give you that clarity that you desire. That clarity is being present. Surrendering to the moment, experiencing it, and letting it go.  You master that. You’ll master panic attacks. The answer is to LET GO! 

HOMEWORK:

Whatever you’re holding onto that has hurtful, traumatic, painful memories attached to it, get rid of it! Delete that text, photo, DM, burn that letter, release your pain. Free yourself of the power your past has over you. (I just recently did this and I didn’t know how much I was carrying until I let it go.) Everyday you have the opportunity to be someone one new. You have the opportunity to grow and evolve. You have the opportunity to not let this define you.",2.242507172809532,4.950727578680206,4.28241447804017,79.615416022953,82.85786802030456,7.08090929154712,25.316486426837344,8.18289091462,2.0245155153387766,811,33,149,18,23,276,113,197,0.126,0.782,0.091,-0.8264,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,5,13,1,7,7,11,2,2,9,0,25,4,1,3,2,23,33,8,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,20,5,0,2,3,0,1,5,4,7,0,1,3,1,25,5,22,21,3,26,0,1,0,0,22,7,0,3,14,118,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115345467754884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385277947792145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307102256924906,0.13134698939271913,0.2334458831046358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052032983016444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465766394076876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524813768256018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5600435269185665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24180730017139765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793338697105625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065260489700886,0.0,0.0,0.13223904407644432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278113531135876,0.10413450304050634,0.2913869508587125,0.3212943149185488,0.0,0.0,0.13070647778740924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584594308611982,0.0,0.0,0.13519285581728582,0.0,0.0,0.11692968778672455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601262165422495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447199088859795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909641520728744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825568316453912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,8265927592,2019/04/15,It mentally hurts me that we don’t put learning about the universe at the top of our priorities I understand that 99.99% of our issues are on earth but seriously. The universe is crazy big and it’s barely a focus. It’s an afterthought. We could have had a photo of a black hole 50 years ago or more if we just doubled out focus onto space.,2.6821739130434783,4.54928642028986,4.45731884057971,83.58858695652177,76.10144927536231,7.498550724637681,24.54347826086957,8.344100000000001,1.5825826086956516,269,9,54,5,6,91,54,69,0.108,0.871,0.021,-0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,5,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,13,7,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,7,0,8,5,2,11,0,1,1,0,5,7,0,2,3,40,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307409449874304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29789927371739866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39942371348425104,0.0,0.0,0.3894316010489963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37600876313301385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750802391663484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38842236210047454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402716547841588
mentalhealth,DKuelanaz59,2019/04/15,"So I’ll admit it. I probably have major depression. Probably since elementary school or early middle school. I don’t have any more suicidal tendencies anymore. I’ve sadly grown past that. I can function surface level with most people thinking I’m just shy, I am.

But I finally want to do something about it. Preferably feel less depressed so I can at least function with my family. I don’t want my younger brother to think of me as someone who doesn’t want to play with him. 

But I have no idea how to bring it up to my doctor without making me sound suicidal, because I am not.

I live in east Washington and I want to at least think I feel normal enough to keep a job for more than 6 weeks only to get fired because of antisocial behaviors.",2.7533268101761266,5.042555369863017,4.318238747553817,82.67739726027398,77.49315068493149,7.4590998043052865,27.55185909980431,8.418075326091056,2.2162598825831705,588,25,110,12,14,196,94,146,0.181,0.754,0.065,-0.9691,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,11,1,0,2,0,27,26,8,2,6,6,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,8,1,0,2,6,3,0,0,0,4,18,1,22,26,8,14,0,3,0,0,4,8,0,2,4,74,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141205280112538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789475679400907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181813908184228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568871998775123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263867505201725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540889349401789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140584466312597,0.0,0.1508070449721596,0.0,0.0,0.16336227195683772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791314735999877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834719238789606,0.0,0.0,0.14798638176382686,0.13255168638382095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168262498339706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954399884276008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611363158471088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341845098965656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423594083816336,0.10338647525107253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215700930286472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018506944563519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336009976802766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635554459940218,0.11480590577746355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32624333012344925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28666531708035325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35183788222954443,0.0,0.11962136718363173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14375392716254648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Temporary_Priority2,2019/04/15,"Don't feel like I have free will. Spend too much time screaming in my head to ""JUST DO THE THING"", can't efficiently complete tasks to save my life, career, relationships, self-care, etc. I've always had problems with this but it's gotten much worse with college and ""adulting"". The greater the load, the worse this gets. Growing up, the worse was just doing all my homework after midnight. For some reason it's easier the more tired I am. Otherwise it feels like I'm mentally pushing against a wall.

I really don't feel like I have free will. I feel like a camera watching some dipshit who can't get their shit together. I spend a good chunk of the time in my head planning, thinking, etc, but it doesn't matter if it's about what I'm doing and what to do next, or if it's about cartoons. Either way, there's only a sliver of a chance I actually do any of the things I planned to do. It's like anxiety blocking me, but I don't feel anxious, and it's all of the time independent of any anxiety about doing the thing. I feel like I'm ordering someone else to do the thing and they just won't or can't hear me or don't care how much reason is behind something.

Assuming I even remember said plans or tasks at all, it takes anything short of a literal fire under my ass to even get started.

This can't be normal. I'm way behind all of my peers in all aspects of my life, and this is mainly why.",4.498080808080808,4.78739967832168,5.459813519813519,84.2182672882673,69.6993006993007,8.453457653457653,28.825951825951826,8.344100000000001,1.8332655788655792,1092,37,231,15,18,360,138,286,0.199,0.703,0.098,-0.9816,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,2,3,12,14,1,0,17,0,28,7,4,4,5,45,48,15,0,4,13,0,7,6,0,3,3,3,1,1,20,7,0,1,11,0,4,2,10,3,0,0,4,11,22,13,30,40,16,19,0,0,1,1,7,8,2,9,12,155,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0952165846095468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118805077236074,0.0,0.0,0.1327051518943751,0.0,0.14928523347123232,0.11022903587611986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029376912941064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948156173150123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230280199629296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815092175840066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21763802979242655,0.12889129615185824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960132142628841,0.3485287000210766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293265104179107,0.0,0.0,0.0818390974200401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20027485818140706,0.0,0.10997118290921344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783653930037676,0.28601366798789474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833002703241964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215180816139215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376935128046623,0.0,0.09560023260407097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420820479654114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933636066115444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250737608429331,0.20064134981500106,0.0,0.1047562390653368,0.11053050534409106,0.0,0.09281369352295793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178928995373794,0.0,0.10015666349899152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267277545225908,0.07511599826525034,0.0,0.0,0.06906224488965486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733622996056973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592910602758374,0.06252045227898087,0.0,0.0,0.17068574826551666,0.11214511701931426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489685443810236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804391199259141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29830382554994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,in-incognito,2019/04/15,"I don't know anymore I think I'm delusional at this point, I swear my name keeps getting called, but it's not, I see things like people running past me, I feel constantly in danger and untrusting, I don't know at this point. It's happened a while, but it's getting worse and worse.",2.397931034482756,4.154205000000005,3.3788275862069,91.49893103448278,76.58620689655173,6.708965517241379,25.393103448275863,7.554174236665415,1.1481406896551718,222,8,48,3,5,71,38,58,0.294,0.706,0.0,-0.9491,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,11,12,5,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,2,8,1,3,12,0,9,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,4,26,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326707707480383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395637538169064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535308176773684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186262182261752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451488131239921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746546552323428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20853276818888,0.0,0.0,0.2578718081607572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461893645149678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239624580979816,0.1626495178263443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4435658851827201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869543512426483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586492300844496,0.15032906218285988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781766894495975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,akey4theocean,2019/04/15,"Wondering if I have a minor version of PTSD from a really bad relationship. 8 years later. This may be too long and I apologize. 
I’m just wondering which direction I should go. 
8 years ago I was married to someone who just about put me over the edge.  An example would be him all of a sudden deciding he wanted his kids to have the master bedroom (larger) and moved our room to a small room. Then, my kids had to share a room (boy and girl). On top of this, he only had his kids every other weekend. But somehow I was the bitch for even questioning this. 
It didn’t stop there. I remember him looking me straight in the eye with scariest look and would say “I want you out of my house with your kids by next week”. As a single mom, this was so scary to me. He’d say I looked disgusting when I would cry. Or, (this was the final straw) he would say in a taunting almost sarcastic tone, but it wasn’t, “I really can’t stand your son”. And he didn’t. Poor kid. All these years later, I overcompensate for being married to that nightmare. I never knew who I was coming home to. God. It was so bad. 
And all of these years later, depression has kicked in. Not motivated, tired, blah, blah. 
Could it be that I have some sort of PTSD?
And what was he? A narcissist?
I always remember him saying that he always saw himself with a woman in a wheelchair?  I wasn’t in a wheelchair. And why would he feel this? I think to be the “hero”. He always wanted me to feel like he had saved me and I owed him something. He felt entitled to my family’s money. 
I just rambling now. Any suggestions?",0.936153172099548,3.2641732208201897,2.8082045215562594,90.61281852436035,84.93059936908517,6.172064493515598,19.846565019277953,7.492282038375204,0.6704119172800564,1209,35,256,21,36,402,166,317,0.109,0.797,0.095,-0.8116,1,0,1,0,1,0,50.0,1,3,0,4,12,9,2,0,18,0,33,2,1,1,4,55,51,18,0,11,8,2,3,3,0,7,1,4,5,8,20,14,0,1,12,1,3,4,7,5,0,0,17,12,39,4,33,20,6,38,0,1,5,0,43,14,1,10,20,174,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182824570427664,0.0,0.10373263663775416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585910574073654,0.0,0.0,0.07044625661311807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17299034024730087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923551811477312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270995205352175,0.0,0.11379118076806467,0.0,0.0,0.08922382055851531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842167914579711,0.0,0.08728090666009597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765751817584306,0.0,0.10475867015539693,0.07400629708261358,0.09946476912441196,0.11348020489972432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058873841467364324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039114352127782,0.0,0.0,0.11953150430314335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05060992222811712,0.0,0.0,0.09167584792561156,0.2609741036065054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132594688972928,0.0,0.11010212731754578,0.0,0.0,0.07989670029324318,0.0,0.11017149288520374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878654540943318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242187504908422,0.10413878560543892,0.11604698583705356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272764750992158,0.0,0.0,0.1112192675819492,0.23469956461810876,0.0,0.0,0.3295227400611335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777334521366667,0.07975034599645638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660772793763255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637770669700686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190640088749354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833041121825372,0.0,0.0830954240277111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347585875776043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246826703302324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36794467664704295,0.0,0.0,0.2668399529684042
mentalhealth,Throwawayhay951,2019/04/15,"Cannot get over grandpa passing away Hey r/mentalhealth,

Hopefully this is the right sub I've tried looking around but anyway here it goes. So I am an 18yr old Male and lost my grandpa about a month ago. Him and I were pretty close and we have a large family that is always together so it is tough on everyone that our chief is no longer with us anymore. He was 87yrs old and left my grandma behind after being married for 63yrs and passing peacefully in his home.

A regular day to day is normal for me, as I am past the heavy grieving stages I think (this is the first death of someone close I've experienced). But when I go to sleep, I am often having dreams that my grandpa appears in. Whether it's just him and I together, or it's a birthday party and he is in it alive and well. 

This doesn't seem too bad but to add onto that I am having a lot of other dreams/nightmares of death. In all different ways, parents dying, me being murdered, me living in eerie world alone with my dog. I am not sure if this is normal or just a phase after someone passes but it is difficult because these dreams occur multiple times a week and are very memorable. 

I would also like to add I am not depressed or sad before bed or during the day, just once I wake up and dwell on the dreams. Do I need to seek help or act to prevent these dreams?",4.2251947519475195,4.86382165682657,5.129637146371461,85.10121258712587,70.4391143911439,7.9410414104141065,27.23267732677327,7.984000788550335,1.5556099220992206,1043,33,215,13,18,341,159,271,0.131,0.6920000000000001,0.177,0.9066,2,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,0,2,14,13,1,1,13,0,27,2,2,0,2,48,36,26,5,6,16,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,17,18,0,1,3,4,0,6,5,9,1,1,3,2,26,4,30,30,2,39,0,4,1,0,15,17,0,11,15,152,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453336977638478,0.0,0.0,0.1455023044509528,0.0,0.1123475121020813,0.11689655154938168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932548913983414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506333626453472,0.0,0.0,0.1319922890600893,0.0,0.11730089061668983,0.0856396543032098,0.0,0.11954420558177087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718077420102745,0.0,0.12100136459383448,0.0,0.1458034673685801,0.146779156217946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424147913031048,0.0,0.0,0.13243876902104307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949828632589585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339873029762155,0.0,0.07984207705788811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941655660862705,0.0,0.1409200522791333,0.13953542530611046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263968459484098,0.0,0.0,0.0686349184921286,0.0,0.12405271515191625,0.0,0.11797381186014133,0.0,0.15335830475075607,0.11943713937174852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213549182885033,0.0,0.0,0.10416943142292784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752951305622215,0.0,0.0,0.2948352340275795,0.14961421510154138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599433927334394,0.0,0.13411086800091315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14292592360285833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997524674835955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789421251366673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058859437910504,0.0,0.2380685892923415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13240746331814252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001848428671215,0.0,0.0,0.0819191789146772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538154369555714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16898872718323976,0.0,0.0,0.1159166004089402,0.0,0.11151214961688014,0.11269030664588316,0.0,0.12631480731505354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979803081875607,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ethangeorgia_CG,2019/04/15,I'm really fucking scared right now. There's a tornado watch near my county right now and I'm fucking terrified. Tornadoes are my biggest fear and even the threat of one makes me shake.,2.6950000000000003,5.411099611111113,3.653333333333337,84.90000000000002,80.66666666666667,8.044444444444443,25.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.398133333333334,150,6,28,4,4,48,29,36,0.373,0.627,0.0,-0.9438,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,3,3,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,3,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,1,0,1,3,0,2,6,0,7,0,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,2,15,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20524503442665007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496760380308874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5745599892662288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20742560259053744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105697699341967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990720698661448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5307513725306551,0.0,0.0,0.31111130795980785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,embarrassedddd1,2019/04/15,"Beginning to ruminate about the past, I am not sure what is causing it exactly but it has made me very unwell before. I would like advice on how to cope with it, and how to get over the things that may be triggering it. Thanks!  

Hi,

so 90% of the time I don't think about my past and just live my life, but recently I have started ruminating about the past. I am not sure what triggers it exactly, part of me thinks that it is because I saw someone from my past on fb, another part of me thinks its because I will be visiting home soon, another part of me thinks that its because I watched 'The Act' and the mother reminded me of my own mum, part of me thinks its because I am not as happy in my relationship as I was, and finally, I think its because I am spending more time alone (and trying to write) as I have my dissertation due in over a week. I had a really depressive spell the summer before last due to me getting too caught up in the past, think: thoughts of suicide, crying, not eating. That was because a boy who I had been dating and who I had been friends with for over a year stopped talking to me. He ghosted me and I became the crazy ex, and it set off a lot of bad memories and a lot of emotional trauma. I had been on my own a lot during this time too and that probably didn't help. While I feel like I have dealt with a few of the issues, I can feel myself thinking about the past and I don't want to end up like I did. I have to get over my triggers, like I will have to face people from my past, go home, deal with my relationships, watch movies starring shitty parents, be on my own for periods of time...like its all apart of life. So, how do I not let the triggers get to me? How do I stop myself going down the depressive rabbit hole? INb4: I tried going to therapy and the woman said 'Maybe you just want to be upset.' Obviously, I didn't go back to her again because it just wasn't helpful and if anything, very rude. So, if anyone has some legitimate tips that would be fab.

Thanks,",4.862326472962066,4.56131266101695,5.9212500000000015,83.26006709039552,68.87893462469734,9.304640839386602,29.557001614205003,8.959647251330699,2.0910711057304274,1551,51,339,25,24,518,179,413,0.147,0.7829999999999999,0.07,-0.9866,1,1,0,0,0,1,49.0,0,1,0,0,19,17,1,1,22,0,42,4,1,10,6,68,71,28,2,6,12,4,2,4,1,5,2,1,2,2,25,17,1,2,11,0,1,7,10,6,0,0,18,6,54,11,55,42,14,53,0,2,3,0,22,16,0,7,33,250,79,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806368418409811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07213905524727363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460735831867295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04870269566600672,0.0,0.05731812940735977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053558526074667934,0.05815698562770341,0.2972169164958781,0.0,0.11853841193095048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155237492614808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651007628549934,0.0,0.07180874008451486,0.11998331103233552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127196675037029,0.0,0.07834976501409968,0.061691502052746774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043686330572207,0.04975980912737999,0.0,0.07630098462084595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381340193847172,0.0,0.14556236975077502,0.0,0.15834064016154767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414645476039304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337329741850396,0.0,0.13973441142631354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269918560851639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05677614004431651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122447078896663,0.09839533854673363,0.1361149074766662,0.0,0.06150449441805925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17764836979511772,0.0,0.06590694480591773,0.0,0.0,0.06997536738471426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773409349189728,0.3017077780287548,0.4654388084600566,0.04828832118727994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509724989985922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04462121918251925,0.0,0.06877350882361233,0.14956158446859966,0.0,0.0,0.06625554328567837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05901639558358299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049300446755314316,0.0,0.0,0.1164653328438212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07618860528880197,0.0,0.1312934437361936,0.0,0.0,0.05598409647587788,0.0,0.12825345461973425,0.07965378279947788,0.0,0.04627407178727825,0.3570444295429817,0.0,0.05529635942579584,0.16245989218759746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457904431394706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494132787148335,0.08216577952625563,0.0,0.0558710893798929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895837300955157,0.0,0.0,0.04485397071158912
mentalhealth,Alex-Alimander,2019/04/15,Anxiety Attack Hello I usually have pretty bad anxiety attacks because of my panic disorder and today was really good for me! I didn’t have one once and I got out of the house today and actually went to a mall and was able to fight off all my attacks there! I’ve been feeling good all day and now it’s 12:30 at night and I’m in bed freaking the fuck out and I can’t breathe at all or stop my anxiety attack and I’m hallucinating pretty badly and I took CBD and melatonin and all my fucking oils and nothing it calming it down and I just want to sleep. Any advice,0.6663196125908009,3.0123428474576275,3.297142857142859,86.43593220338984,86.6271186440678,6.083292978208232,22.83535108958838,7.447530270364453,1.1929012106537529,448,17,91,8,14,156,73,118,0.307,0.584,0.11,-0.9778,0,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,14,7,1,3,0,7,4,2,0,4,24,16,14,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,15,0,1,1,1,0,2,2,11,0,1,7,2,11,3,13,9,4,16,0,0,0,2,2,7,2,1,7,59,14,0,0.12807445272367815,0.0,0.12498219089639515,0.0,0.0,0.1251528729235657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709501971222221,0.0,0.29392981733526313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5828127176060048,0.0,0.0,0.2138736367016142,0.07807299763626208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825974266716555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678441867155664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475829150382048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368055355576078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21484554898673794,0.10243283966704188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477807228379435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018919787980754,0.0,0.1228908915754606,0.0,0.0,0.13639511225275985,0.08678656375845313,0.0,0.0,0.1502677750888302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605955240337373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204777394857972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816694656173885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707597727136373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427992116587205,0.0,0.14229542944626689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141055915452741,0.0,0.0755416305110743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187263007978845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ineedsomehelpreddit_,2019/04/16,"How do I know if I have ADHD or just childish? I posted this on r/advice as well,

This is really stressing me out. I’ve always thought that I’m just childish/weird. And I mean this in a serious way, sometimes I just do things that’s just too cringe when I look back. I would also say some random stuff/talk to myself when I’m walking to my workplace. Even sometimes when there’s people around I cant help but to say weird things. When I realised, I pretend that I was just humming to a song lol.

I can’t stop pacing when I’m at home, and worst of all I feel like I often cut people off mid sentence. It’s also hard for me to focus during meetings at work, briefing from my supervisor, or even simply reading an article. My mind literally wanders from minute to minute.

Until recently, my boss told me that he noticed my short attention span and understands ADHD, since his brother has it. I never thought I had ADHD because I know how easy everyone self-diagnose themselves saying they have ADHD. But after working for a few weeks, I started to think that my inability to focus might really affect my career.

So now I have a couple of questions:
1. How likely is it for me to have ADHD as an adult?
2. If you think I’m just childish/no ADHD, can you recommend me some ways to improve myself?
3. Is there any over the counter medicine that helps focus?

Thanks so much!",2.349450549450548,4.513081326007328,3.935769230769232,85.54673076923079,78.23076923076924,6.104761904761905,24.785714285714285,7.1686216300943375,1.1993912087912086,1074,39,205,13,26,357,158,273,0.097,0.795,0.109,0.8034,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,2,1,2,28,9,1,1,7,1,17,0,0,5,2,43,34,24,0,3,12,1,2,2,0,2,0,4,1,1,14,5,0,1,11,3,0,2,3,5,1,0,5,7,37,4,29,27,6,30,0,0,1,0,15,11,0,10,16,147,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6716500583479148,0.09101979902905988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897536325628716,0.07750374665463472,0.0,0.0,0.06334150391801185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291841804704769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07162242740818121,0.0,0.056780067356414485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306269873542667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453978123729838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304222441490015,0.0,0.0,0.08900363142589256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04709669494956637,0.06654250178771044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343924223190892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486568817998935,0.0,0.09343160157967548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237964310625282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101146721557976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821798252472316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146174660785807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881167277280772,0.09404946651548404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847197873880885,0.0,0.07183883712166328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060457140776946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129149438282795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892067536979934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434323925030838,0.0,0.09316977955980332,0.0,0.1193415975379544,0.0,0.09196902910393663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222169097495688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717010404461354,0.0,0.0,0.07705015357598742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18424472941906989,0.0,0.06592820840515068,0.0,0.0,0.07787303402960541,0.10669679403016437,0.0,0.1066282518022486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486607977721572,0.0,0.08575500874075664,0.0,0.0,0.12376223135210138,0.11936656313500052,0.0,0.1478927737253014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900363142589256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696678574117308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478676535495476,0.07471495831958805,0.0,0.08374815762413049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13562071744029727,0.0,0.0,0.06616723243491791,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,HecatesPen,2019/04/16,"Anxious about feeling better I don’t think I’ve realized how depressed I’ve been for a few years now. I honestly think I forgot what it feels like to be happy and am only now feeling truly happy for the first time since I was 17 (I am now 21). The thing is, i’m anxious about feeling happy again. It’s almost like I don’t know how to handle it. I also am not really sure who I am without my depression. I’m trying to just relax and enjoy being happy again but it’s really confusing to have to sort out what parts of me were caused by my depression. For the longest time I identified as a depressed person and now that i’m feeling better I don’t really know how to act or who to be. It’s exciting and terrifying all at once. My anxiety is sky high still but I’m so grateful my depression has finally lifted. 
Does anyone have any advice? Or has anyone gone through this as well?",2.191730769230769,3.9867798626373614,4.6011950549450535,82.33442994505495,77.2967032967033,7.626923076923077,24.012362637362642,8.472884824447931,1.7109109890109888,693,23,136,14,16,243,99,182,0.103,0.63,0.267,0.9813,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,16,20,0,1,5,0,19,0,0,4,2,32,34,15,0,0,7,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,12,5,0,1,10,1,0,2,5,6,1,1,5,5,15,14,20,26,3,18,0,5,0,0,3,4,0,5,14,98,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922181959311783,0.0,0.0,0.11192301536190784,0.0,0.0,0.08938363094057387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600845516568387,0.0,0.08550489422014496,0.25253996884808944,0.0,0.1563064680819582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977056236032325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482012293816925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4813431607784023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781199589878267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28257515255396903,0.07984958440977889,0.0,0.12244021870009683,0.0,0.09507278375047368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.475931375292845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809273009418488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285339045616685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921182159445687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903300336503014,0.0,0.08500726500344502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103764620118815,0.0,0.0,0.09759456559946016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148110615815028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924585426826935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926086704982916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534331925617403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07425602038994385,0.14323733257221402,0.0,0.0,0.1303497250283783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07588551397986819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049600483471044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774374076672026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197718366001629
mentalhealth,bdking00,2019/04/16,"Haven’t been doing so good recently Hey gonna start off with I know nobody probably cares and that’s ok. I don’t know where I’m going with this but these past 2 months have been hell. I’ve been having anxiety and depression harder and more consistent than I ever have before. I’ve deleted all my social media’s but one and I don’t feel like me anymore. I feel like my past mistakes/bad decisions are gonna come back to haunt me if I ever become happy again, I’m in the marines and every day just drains my fucking soul little by little. When I get off of work I sleep the rest of the day. When we get released for chow I don’t get food I just go to my barracks room and sleep. I think everything bad that could happen will happen. I’ve been thinking more and more of just jumping off 3rd deck and ending it all. What the fuck is the point of living like this anymore man. It doesn’t help that I literally have no privacy at any point in the day, and just a few hours to just sleep and forget everything. I’m stationed on one of the most isolated bases possible. In the middle of the desert with fuck all to do. I’m barely 19 I shouldn’t fucking be like this. I miss my home I miss my car I miss my friends I miss my own bed I miss not having to do pointless bullshit all day. I broke up with my first love about a month ago and I’m ashamed for ever being with her. That’s a fucked up situation in itself and I wish I could just forget it. I eat like shit, excessively use nicotine, jack off way too fucking much. Before I joined the military I smoked weed every day. I just want to go to the mountains and live isolated for the rest of my life and die a quiet peaceful death where everyone will forget about me. This isn’t a sob story and I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m crying for attention. I could give a fuck. I just needed somewhere to put a little of what’s going on in my head down. If you actually read this thanks for even caring enough to do that. I hope everyone else gets better and lives happy fulfilling lives.",1.391203953279426,3.4564975094339623,3.0414824797843667,91.23738993710694,80.98113207547169,6.019227313566938,20.000898472596585,7.1686216300943375,0.395329469901168,1600,42,345,21,42,528,199,424,0.212,0.633,0.155,-0.9853,0,4,1,0,0,0,30.0,1,1,0,3,22,36,9,1,19,1,30,17,5,1,7,66,80,23,2,11,13,0,3,6,1,5,1,1,3,1,17,23,3,0,9,1,0,8,10,19,0,3,4,4,46,17,47,66,14,55,2,8,0,8,10,24,10,4,28,218,63,2,0.0,0.0,0.06795264686024703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617262556689949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047353443521380864,0.0,0.05326974703576517,0.0,0.13811624593947186,0.04868964572567189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535441750092877,0.11628280480015762,0.0,0.07690517765785633,0.11850664943440012,0.0,0.0,0.06158553058832464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419928148266889,0.0,0.0,0.05998344369603027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667910219019318,0.0,0.07648957532724877,0.2245405415735132,0.0,0.059975580686748825,0.0,0.07226900003091041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712528693492733,0.05817019273537038,0.0,0.061674971747597424,0.0719504385959784,0.0,0.0459925377846864,0.1889635621559247,0.1173391371729506,0.13307636141317844,0.12516492830945208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056269845072536,0.14923942779702634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05923056436201685,0.08420159481554021,0.0,0.05379898257882627,0.4506279643451722,0.14552336615530115,0.06679918717132803,0.1582982126146033,0.05840561609251159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315406515408048,0.14825317427420762,0.0,0.0,0.0714644763241313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667413897089443,0.0,0.06984848471930931,0.0691621800067936,0.0685753701383935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653794664942397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918448670431492,0.20411765300849366,0.20937440008689664,0.24595205688723706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06284731831403237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11116223789053307,0.0,0.05118893264994562,0.05163265852719896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437147287938248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294688389272152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165309654343982,0.0785017656536438,0.0,0.0,0.07507712750997708,0.0,0.0,0.07000130794223154,0.0,0.0,0.06965274932523469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875508088703731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147820322852848,0.0,0.07827142721755014,0.20905258252559225,0.07098299735234186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049287236646924235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641095444834585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923718977482728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060141336701389166,0.0,0.0,0.08214376311616332,0.0552721529162059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007555467370031,0.0,0.0,0.05069431246810096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,taeganbyers,2019/04/16,"Struggling. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m struggling so much, mentally, and my cries for help to my parents go unnoticed day after day. I’m only 17; I have my whole life ahead of me, and I am suicidal. I don’t know what to do. I’m just hurting all over. I’ve cried several times this week so far. The pain is immense, and never-ending. It’s emotional, physical, psychological pain. I’m a musician. I’m a feminist. I’m a Christian. I’m a future doctor. I’m a dog lover. I’m outgoing—I’m a person, and I’m struggling. You hear the same things over and over when you say you’re struggling: “I’m here for you”, “Suicide is never the answer”, “Suicide is selfish”, “This, too, shall pass”, etc. Part of me just wants to be gone, but part of me can’t imagine saying goodbye to my dog one last time—knowing I’d never see her again. Or having my little cousins see me in a casket at my funeral. That part makes it seem selfish, but this is my life, and I’m definitely not “living it to the fullest”. I feel like I’ve jumped off the deep end, and I’ve run out of energy to try and save myself from drowning. I have so much potential in this life, but sometimes, my irrational thoughts cloud my brain from remembering that. I know I’m not alone, and that’s what gives me strength. If anyone has tips on how to *try* to overcome this struggle- please let me know.",0.8951612903225836,3.0830153440860246,2.924455197132616,90.66001612903229,83.73118279569894,6.013906810035842,23.27849462365592,7.3011,0.9538309677419359,1047,39,226,16,30,352,146,279,0.14800000000000002,0.75,0.101,-0.8497,1,1,0,0,0,2,49.0,0,3,0,2,10,14,0,5,12,0,17,8,1,2,3,37,45,19,6,2,9,2,1,1,1,1,6,3,0,1,15,10,0,0,10,0,0,5,7,10,0,1,2,6,27,4,28,40,9,30,1,1,2,1,13,12,0,3,14,137,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945607691160828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905465068766537,0.06384009804977532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192261555026798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20058071550529252,0.11776376662066933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345090481801753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270184457506636,0.16173197339605044,0.0,0.10182525334414937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046164757394471116,0.06522577549741836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758467216397121,0.05188871917121042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290337190578733,0.0,0.061197438672668074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774009262621572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508844511909968,0.07442286916054258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336192045494242,0.1934667467959692,0.04460527759560743,0.0915080405799216,0.08062085476905809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609444281266819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201038920874847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423414488772312,0.0,0.2112519248393488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061868226723869366,0.06943886838921629,0.19430236415631327,0.0,0.10137945756326457,0.29661172551655035,0.0,0.0,0.07972090615889138,0.0,0.1002215769011425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342674687556444,0.0,0.0,0.14521315828387202,0.0,0.0,0.14551087268924182,0.0831174127889139,0.0,0.10314465274908323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029947052494444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4772405061075544,0.0,0.2996069087387881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06065662772182246,0.0,0.0,0.07248315435653319,0.10647722168745548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397538534341862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385196188384282,0.0,0.07323651751477225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193481051035642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FadedHiro,2019/04/16,"I just want to sign off. Quite frequently I feel an overwhelming sense of exhaustion, a feeling of not wanting to do anything or be with anyone yet at the same time I fear being alone. This haunts me througout everything I do and it is honestly starting to take it's toll. I also get angry randomly at the most insignificant things, I never lash out about it though it's always kept inside but I'm seething with rage just because my rommmate spoke as an example.  Occasionally I will spend hours just sitting in my living room not doing anything just sitting motionless on the couch staring into the abyss that is the white wall in front of me. All of this has been compounding onto one another and is quite swiftly starting to deteriarate my mental state to the point where I can't stabd to be around anyone but I fear being alone so it makes it worse. I'm not suicidal to the point where I would actually act on the thoughts I have, but I do have those thoughts usually followed by me shaking in fear after realising what Ive been contemplating. I just want to sign out for a bit, chek out mentally and not have to worry or proccess anything. To just lay back and have an entire day go by while I'm in a state of bliss where nothing can worry me. I just feel kind of lost. I'm not in any danger and I have no intention of harming myself by any means but I gues I needed a place where I could maybe vent a little and put how I feel into words. Thanks for reading stranger, hopefully your life isn't as dreary as mine.",5.013239202657807,5.850339717607973,5.725347176079737,80.82037956810635,68.76744186046511,8.943588039867109,30.00016611295681,9.120678840339163,2.419964651162791,1209,45,237,22,20,394,167,301,0.13699999999999998,0.743,0.12,-0.6458,1,2,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,3,19,14,2,5,16,0,26,2,0,3,2,58,53,20,1,7,18,0,4,0,0,2,2,1,2,0,12,14,0,1,7,1,1,6,9,10,0,1,7,7,30,4,46,39,4,49,0,2,2,0,2,27,0,5,12,170,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.10628146024544667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255979742878143,0.0,0.0870961159073906,0.0906227063904034,0.0,0.0,0.14812647800028164,0.11420271706820742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230625694979932,0.0,0.2688735076986442,0.09695391226076908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374586378259236,0.0,0.06639115649204523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890264328243515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695659984138131,0.0,0.0,0.07023860804662009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788221627042634,0.0,0.0,0.3676655827261174,0.2202747682581985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690152102031745,0.0,0.061896651448784576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817323275130092,0.10725543171511367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341408400839358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692708540269426,0.0,0.10915746973533393,0.09617043987303077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188892609726543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269896204328948,0.0,0.10941577400706076,0.11863604625043744,0.0,0.0,0.21951341568981206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080756152970923,0.08399890489055721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450307610891407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380093643564861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137888517827747,0.0,0.2059122638040635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10948567231667222,0.0,0.2316805852001297,0.10894050858122943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15417558327260591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191309960883995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818875447069512,0.0,0.0,0.10027064902100884,0.0,0.0,0.07235565271457728,0.0,0.10700453961179514,0.17292639374317126,0.06350690076081192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199501189973777,0.0,0.19271565194502926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212088868583575,0.11098964991676397,0.07736727495684967,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,butterflyfrenchfry,2019/04/16,"First time posting here. Hi, I was diagnosed with major depression when I was 12, when I was 17 they added on anxiety, and just a couple years ago I was also diagnosed with PTSD. 

I’ve been on this medication that has really helped (relative to how I am without it I suppose) and I’ve been on it for about 2 and a half years now. I’m *okay* without it in a sense that my mental illnesses aren’t going to make me lose my shit without them... I just isolate myself and get into this foggy haze where I feel pretty hopeless and can’t get myself out of bed. 
I can’t seem to snap out of it. 

I guess I’m writing this because I’m afraid of going into that state of mind where everything just seems dark. I recently quit drinking alcohol, I quit smoking cigarettes 10 months ago, I quit eating meat 6 months ago... and I’m relatively healthy. I just have problems remembering to take my god damn medication in the morning. 

The problem is that I’m on a pretty high dose of the medication I’m on. If I were to take a double dose in one day it would make me really sick. So if I can’t remember whether or not I’ve taken it, I just don’t take it and I won’t know until about 5-6pm whether I’ve taken it or not because of its half-life and how I feel in relation to the dose I’m on. By then I feel like it’s too late to take it. 

It sucks because then I just spend the rest of my day in a haze. Everyone tells me to use those damn pill boxes but I tried that and I’d still manage to fuck it up somehow. 

I hate being dependent on this shit. I hate pills. I just know I have to take them if I want to feel “normal” but I’m just really sick of it. I wish I wasn’t cursed with this shit.  

I guess I just needed to get that off my chest.",1.0761177815894811,2.646154463611861,3.425273217348689,90.52906068773994,79.8355795148248,6.86893735195622,21.754553622478145,7.793537801064563,0.7920648697214734,1330,39,309,22,33,460,167,371,0.151,0.805,0.045,-0.9901,1,0,3,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,3,5,24,17,9,1,11,1,21,21,4,6,0,67,61,27,0,10,23,0,4,1,0,2,14,0,1,0,26,16,3,0,10,1,1,2,12,15,0,3,10,4,44,2,49,48,3,45,0,3,0,1,7,21,7,11,21,200,70,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263002656453764,0.09094289272792436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805209955358578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509902890000863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556231599080173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415829411388904,0.0,0.10976114600509483,0.0,0.07329398537973325,0.17274347822107644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336273599569717,0.0,0.08707555149196802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131390122547498,0.07647976326801313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721105505392343,0.06079336686579041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238352790708669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867087393193815,0.1333791271705784,0.0,0.09672525674750228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18748804248743192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803148629118628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057038775117690614,0.08990973112590593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353425308239033,0.0,0.09599320635069557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041574132071875686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952018591259593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360591573733955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25717904899961713,0.08575783582447412,0.0,0.08592378656949833,0.0,0.13584734562690606,0.0,0.0,0.06309840231435071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337706497058524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057663979858835965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149947415217128,0.1731486349777339,0.0,0.1628528149419464,0.09947392598073324,0.0,0.0,0.2715336398945152,0.0,0.0,0.16354609444848778,0.0,0.08402309465976202,0.0,0.1927967929423943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493836079608686,0.0,0.0,0.2620527715987019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795863344098066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199120469689785,0.0,0.07437859372237689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049620788342729504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777532751456895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734965498030292,0.0,0.0,0.050192459197002534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785743574842863,0.2460916287169182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045052001115025,0.0,0.0,0.10959945163280936
mentalhealth,perfectbluee,2019/04/16,"How to deal with suicide attempt from a close friend My best friend tried to take his life today. I dont know how to even react, it was one of those hard to believe cases where everything (apparently) was going great in his life, he was doing well in school, had a loving family and friends, a nice gf, was good at sports, never did drugs, but we would occationaly have a few beers with friends. Dont really know how to deal with this. Any insight is welcome.",8.607666666666667,6.338278099999999,8.131666666666668,76.8375,62.444444444444464,11.222222222222225,33.611111111111114,9.516144504307137,2.7507777777777767,359,10,73,5,4,114,67,90,0.039,0.691,0.27,0.9659,1,0,2,0,0,1,13.0,1,0,0,2,6,11,0,0,4,0,12,5,0,4,1,16,17,5,1,1,1,0,1,0,5,1,3,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,3,2,0,1,3,0,1,1,6,1,5,11,13,10,2,8,0,0,0,1,13,5,0,0,2,49,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807456120254877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905423717695593,0.16678215457020784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276897311233137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725182168678614,0.0,0.18430273468025327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496857187222948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428316897258462,0.0,0.1498205005121424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4911407494768536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032083305486788,0.1332988872944935,0.0,0.1752155542134644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423657307372909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468222761340954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22450708642303285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434361652385252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257288379629655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769180404876368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181152948168293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608407504383583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383833466764595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949194474388325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506424727099442,0.0,0.0,0.10789975414086346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289280845723693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128958766221738,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,QueenSharkdalian,2019/04/16,"Addiction, Depression, and Suicide My (25F) mom (60F) has been addicted to drugs since I was in 4th grade. My parents have always fought for as long as I can remember. But they have no idea how to live without each other. I remember she would inject dilaudid into her thighs and try to lock the door but I knew what she was doing because I’d look throw the lock. I’m not sure how that worked, but it did. She was only sober for her pregnancy with my little brother. She has been in and out of rehab every 3-4 years. When I was in 7th grade she went for the first time. She was gone for about 3 months. I was 13-14, taking care of my 2.5 year old brother. We’ve always been ok financially, never had to really worry. When I was in high school it happened again and she went away for a month and then did a program. It happened again when I first started college. And then she got really sick. Having seizures all the time and it turned out she had an autoimmune disease of her brain. She had to get chemo and has been sick for nearly 5 years now. Last year, around this time, she was caught using heroin. She went into an extensive in patient program, then did out patient. Through the last about 7 years, my mom has said she wants to die more times than I can count. My parents have been fighting worse than ever, they found out they are losing our house (On going battle from when she first got sick with her seizures and she couldn’t work anymore). She’s been planning my graduation party, telling me how proud she is. And then today she couldn’t do it anymore. She told my aunt she wanted to die today. And she snorted 6 bags of heroin. My dad was there. He called 911. And all her sisters... they all came over. And I left. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know what to do.. or what to say.. how to feel.. I can’t do this. I’ve been told my family is trash and trying so hard to think otherwise. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed. I’m humiliated. The last thing I can even think about is getting through the next few weeks to graduate.",1.32238359201774,3.611208207317077,2.49189578713969,93.79363082039913,82.78048780487805,5.483370288248338,20.293791574279386,6.7829847944221076,0.24434146341463456,1575,45,340,18,44,502,204,410,0.173,0.794,0.034,-0.9962,2,0,2,0,2,1,64.0,1,0,4,8,19,11,3,2,11,1,48,9,2,5,6,56,83,33,3,5,6,9,2,0,0,1,7,2,1,0,14,25,0,0,9,0,0,8,9,7,0,3,36,6,56,4,51,44,6,64,0,2,1,0,49,19,0,1,37,229,70,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852640404121809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140701867512334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528081682083816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564309336901838,0.0,0.0,0.07983398926959644,0.0,0.0,0.051798141326133716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485685174423156,0.08676591044198505,0.0971853289639239,0.08663461509280296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318625740472609,0.0,0.17637503724288095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985405409072527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612320331815225,0.0768620369696173,0.07159257316440955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010403744184721,0.0,0.042964395333987784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21683141438513084,0.0,0.0931674100007989,0.0,0.0,0.08878872377635175,0.0,0.04829154466894597,0.0,0.13591973835128535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15028091449219333,0.0,0.07611822004620543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977758122005143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804627718409308,0.0,0.09592304296468022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046698387915329966,0.20779055840242427,0.0,0.0,0.0923223244996648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516426498507305,0.0750318310321429,0.0751975443562196,0.07135507761251292,0.09506193081605198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19903635426865676,0.1356476763173623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553564324915577,0.0,0.09036868390623913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916381811872796,0.0,0.0,0.06462503349744325,0.0,0.0,0.18870269614002105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887047555887032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925134189658811,0.0,0.08082782853173345,0.06757314337096927,0.0,0.08599619845913449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702897148585089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014361756411338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294557434692922,0.0,0.08008510255430767,0.0,0.06388836763355629,0.0,0.07426927158299426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056451619810288824,0.10889325065555996,0.0,0.0,0.19819142154497207,0.0,0.16108703726179086,0.1623887710523006,0.0,0.11538081792705447,0.09242513354854216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733885240975191,0.0,0.0,0.10023737198997454,0.0,0.06815941139909558,0.0,0.0,0.23630968045480266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190997388172595,0.0,0.12372125317548707,0.08629318865275991,0.086593725367858,0.060361669444829,0.0,0.0,0.2735959041201754
mentalhealth,rosesandthornes,2019/04/16,"Today I’ve never posted on one of these before. But I haven’t felt this low in a year. I’ve been going to work, going to school, as well as participate in extracurriculars. I am a college student, who is about to start applying to laws schools. It seems harder and harder to do simple tasks. 

I feel so ashamed in feeling this way. I feel weak, and very alone. I am scared to talk to anyone in my family, my friends, or my boyfriend because I will just feel like a burden on everyone. They get mad at me when I bring up my depression. They find it ridiculous I could ever possibly feel this way. But right now I feel like nothing I do or will do is worth it. 

If anyone reads this, I am really struggling and do not know what do to. I’m alone and do not know who to talk to.",2.2980336538461543,3.734423543750001,3.88625,89.12144230769233,76.0625,6.9230769230769225,22.93269230769231,7.61054688173877,0.8306586538461538,597,17,132,8,13,199,93,160,0.189,0.73,0.081,-0.9615,0,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,7,13,2,3,3,0,16,1,0,0,2,27,32,13,0,2,8,0,7,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,11,4,0,0,11,1,1,3,4,9,1,1,2,7,18,4,22,27,0,23,0,2,0,0,7,10,0,4,9,89,29,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902517699167689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19595548580892244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541810155641184,0.0,0.11923494058851612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11187736543106212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068832987983212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267499008963668,0.0,0.13389419178220605,0.0,0.0,0.13209614534632266,0.0,0.4251044910096187,0.20020878594037975,0.13454071785275862,0.0,0.12807051517506535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082592162064266,0.0,0.07320884524447377,0.0,0.1592710456877669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401663223231746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691471516967474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807202898218356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344524608348734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495143956671166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796840782317767,0.1341997623754526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016161063128288,0.0,0.08976682463595036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966486663670298,0.0,0.0,0.14028825963716324,0.28362531262262125,0.0,0.12756334576376552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918026982310814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648770612646475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252522303434078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328208749964059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156167201556973,0.0,0.22244732766025316,0.0,0.0,0.1259880265410114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020117160371776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902350629780786
mentalhealth,chocolatebarz,2019/04/16,"My sister is yelling at my parents for someone taking her white sugar (parent abuse) I am the oldest sister (18F) and my younger sister is (16f). She is a sophomore in high school while I am in college. Growing up, she has been selfish, cruel and manipulative to my parents. She would yell, cry and be mean to them at the smallest things. It’s gotten to a point where my parents just take the easy way out and give everything to her. 

In fact, at this moment, she is calling and screaming at my mom for someone taking away her white sugar... (yes, sugar.)

All my relatives and friends have seen her manipulative behavior. We all know she has some sort of mental illness but being in an Asian family, my parents refuse to get her any help because of the stigma. I’ve been told that she will grow out of this for years because she is just a teenager. However, I truly do not believe this will be the case. She will be dependent on my parents and continue to abuse them. She clings onto them back and forth depending on who she’s mad at. She always wants to know where they are and doesn’t want them to leave her alone. 

Over the years, I’ve grown increasingly intolerant of her behavior which has made me stick up for my parents. She has no empathy for others and only cares about herself. She truly turns every situation and makes herself the victim. My relationship is now strained with her as she has grown up because of this. It has gotten to a point where she has made me have anxiety whenever she causes tension and problems in the family. My parents urge me to never yell back at her. I just want them to not be controlled by their own daughter. 

I love my sister but I wish she was different. I wish she got help. And I can’t do anything about it. She is a sociopath. 

What do I do?",3.705492610837439,5.439390994252879,4.651395730706079,83.85103448275864,72.9655172413793,7.270279146141214,27.37110016420361,7.957251820313856,1.7161031198686376,1398,52,270,20,28,454,168,348,0.116,0.78,0.104,-0.3811,10,1,0,0,3,0,45.0,1,0,7,1,11,11,3,2,14,1,37,5,0,9,4,50,61,17,0,7,7,14,0,0,1,4,1,4,0,0,13,17,3,2,3,0,0,5,6,8,0,0,10,10,63,3,47,42,5,43,0,0,3,1,62,27,0,4,10,207,76,2,0.0,0.19061720924362574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331189373725299,0.0,0.0,0.06693277551639237,0.0,0.0,0.05470216403223968,0.0,0.06153661114403716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619551489876972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557631201654093,0.12370725448959255,0.0,0.14710698512838655,0.0,0.0,0.09062867471989698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213854249245205,0.0,0.08201424933903594,0.08263434884282915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022063909416857,0.0,0.0,0.08835989497613421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404299513892062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777442411488054,0.0,0.07229455695630381,0.0,0.15166391615595448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214797807609877,0.0,0.04202673794122644,0.07716566784032078,0.0,0.0,0.06433545817279734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783487814974288,0.08498959594094765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841577298211048,0.0,0.0,0.08517466555506906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260051349482786,0.15222911814956522,0.05369452646620041,0.0,0.0,0.08762307117185981,0.0,0.0,0.08106490503553647,0.0,0.0,0.09421070993987933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204052018090951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061178474736978024,0.0,0.0,0.7145554905783471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208417270055222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697050567518582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636278081070428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140988050886584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041827018891913,0.0,0.0,0.13631361433170344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814432894063068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344096257314712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686415611517729,0.0,0.0,0.08749594997246712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233732343594854,0.06384976783942159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850047557684185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714248286398781,0.0,0.0,0.10360183478446644
mentalhealth,Pleaspleasehelp,2019/04/16,"Dealing with Intrusive thoughts, and behavior Hello all,

I'm trying to get advice and more importantly help. For the vast majority of my life I've had this problem with myself and other people where I would get increasingly frustrated with others and legitimately feel that they are shoving me around either, physically and then later on life, emotionally. It would get to the point where I would find myself wishing, or imagining harm on others, and sometimes, regrettably losing my cool and lashing out on them because I've felt they have pushed me around or I was tired of people taking advantage of me, and respecting my boundaries when I've repeated stated them. I have never developed the tools to deal with people, especially people who have power over me, like say, my parents, or the bosses son (an old ""friend"" ), in a more nuanced way.  I was either extremely passive to the point where people would take that as a sign to shove me around, or I would erupt in anger and they would temporarily stop and try again some time in the future. I really want to change. I'm tired of being angry with people, I am ashamed of my thoughts and actions. I'm tired of being in situations where people, especially those close to me push me around.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. How do I deal with this in a constructive way. I am at my wit's end.",8.320918886560909,7.503179828793779,8.281867704280161,70.89685722837477,61.99610894941634,11.331816821310987,33.777012870398075,10.560738912317856,3.4225165519305585,1084,36,195,22,13,352,134,257,0.133,0.775,0.092,-0.9368,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,5,3,13,12,2,1,11,1,19,6,0,2,2,52,34,19,0,10,6,2,2,2,1,6,6,1,0,0,11,23,0,1,6,0,1,4,2,6,0,0,6,4,32,6,38,20,9,41,0,1,0,0,15,23,0,5,13,142,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066627367062667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303854353969212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056559530793181365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815189479328472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869649634084876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436815641045337,0.082178017180756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691376907914393,0.0,0.08908603370568144,0.0,0.08480179393777422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168375743669803,0.0,0.1454255431164139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062190351865002234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966056965516799,0.09065797421831824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380021494201924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155981155894198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735993584733972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302431399891802,0.0,0.0,0.4502673543814337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541946308338574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878060444450686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059439034463322514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378460279527692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429174928477687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176455693198474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757057135048205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952223010261186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731835094697568,0.05410239403784189,0.3199205226475338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598685507650026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945139309147696,0.1472933283392151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066956355434448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39546141397589024,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Bryguy5849,2019/04/16,"My Girlfriend needs help and we don’t know where to start So I’m currently 21 and my girlfriend is 18. She suffers from horrible depression and anxiety and she’s pretty sure she has Borderline Personality Disorder. We’ve been trying to get through things without doctors but she’s been getting worse and she really wants to see a specialist. Only issue is, we’re having a really hard time getting ahold of any of the “specialists” local to us. All I’m asking is maybe there’s people here with similar experiences that know how to point us in the right direction? Where should we start and who do we see?",3.34844927536232,6.062847547826093,4.667500000000004,78.6679166666667,77.86956521739131,8.702898550724639,26.97463768115942,9.2995712137729,2.893246376811595,488,20,86,14,12,161,78,115,0.14,0.812,0.048,-0.8689,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,5,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,10,1,0,1,2,20,24,9,0,3,2,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,3,10,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,12,1,12,21,1,10,0,2,2,0,16,6,0,0,4,55,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586839328414628,0.0,0.13034490294037726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592880064982792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675330142188178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19527723636572056,0.17439739698378218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666703039193382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670591202216685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263248164697862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11420621370516945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17783882453213312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727949319107634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117574258553936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633913691692306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295863097330218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812427067367272,0.14877457362636978,0.0,0.0,0.16106994162402716,0.0,0.0,0.1733439223425078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183074019932432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14550880156043952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715513293237757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412003223003653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058688627239026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319695625312587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935350725880372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568097995443367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099070072551195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049813849636816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424612369571928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17363799613193895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,agentrainbowkitty,2019/04/16,"All I ever want to do is sleep? No motivation or self discipline School isn’t terribly difficult and my daily routine isn’t even that exhausting, but I want to sleep ALL OF THE TIME.  I do school work as needed and go to the rec center every week, but I have no motivation lately and I am ALWAYS tired.  I try going to bed earlier but I still crash at around 3 or 4 and I have no motivation to do my homework or my workouts.  Today I called in sick from work and I took a nap from 11am to 3:30pm.  I had at least 7 hours of sleep last night, so why am I still tired?  I find it so difficult to function when I’m exhausted and even though I’m falling behind in classwork and everything I still can’t seem to motivate myself.  Does anyone have advice?  I need to start doing my homework and studying more(along with having more motivation to complete my workouts because it has been so difficult lately).",4.622166666666665,5.386790438888887,5.993333333333332,78.81000000000002,69.6111111111111,9.111111111111112,29.44444444444445,9.2995712137729,2.5044444444444447,709,26,138,14,12,240,101,180,0.213,0.698,0.08900000000000001,-0.9747,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,7,12,6,0,0,3,0,17,8,3,5,3,31,28,20,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,1,3,10,0,1,7,3,0,4,6,6,0,0,3,0,21,0,22,25,4,24,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,4,14,98,24,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12871049434247275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959753429170843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920982769317572,0.0,0.0,0.11725438520825475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029231679482969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13449586780220638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810080108172249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526479225172613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399319377076458,0.11914387010536905,0.11097567243737347,0.0,0.11837706002766753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038523672552286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497134802060704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971286472872284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736540549576587,0.29716079299573844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953301903469623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360572084656042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26660547398244866,0.0,0.1199085016272388,0.13740759988822507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954307399815309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322864239934538,0.0,0.3155636034874804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940944015675615,0.0,0.07680414778067443,0.30277431694064466,0.12485053610252445,0.0,0.1463403487180745,0.08942592289862297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537798500965938,0.0,0.10565392719688528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885241204816795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917803573621203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,charl0tteblair,2019/04/16,"Feeling bad - Can anyone give me advice? Hi, this is my first reddit post, but I hope it all works out!
(I'm a 17 year old girl from the UK.)
So right before Christmas, my mum was taken to the hospital in the middle of the night. We later found out she had had a ruptured aneurysm in her brain.
She spent the next month or so in hospital, in ICU and different wards (meaning she was in over Christmas and New Years)
She's now home, and is doing a lot better, with no lasting damage. 

So at the time I missed a lot of school, putting me behind, causing my previously A* grades to fall. This really made me feel down and not good enough.  
Also, I've had a lot of trouble sleeping since, not sleeping until 5 am some nights before school. This has also lead me to be sick quite a lot, when people think it's because I stay up late, when it's not on purpose. 
I find myself doing something random but can't stop thinking about random things that happened while my mum was in hospital, being alone in the house, being at the hospital, the sadness of Christmas Day. I just can't stop thinking or being sad about things while I'm doing something completely different. 
I feel like every day is so hard, and everyone is angry or sad all the time. I just feel like I can't be happy these days and I become easily upset or frustrated. 
My school life, friendships and personal health have all been affected and I don't know how to fix any of it or who to talk to about the way I feel. 
Does anyone have any advice?",5.256633333333333,5.335778596666671,5.8566666666666665,82.75833333333338,68.03333333333333,8.533333333333335,28.0,8.167268648758528,1.7231000000000003,1169,34,235,14,18,380,164,300,0.17800000000000002,0.74,0.08199999999999999,-0.987,2,1,2,0,0,0,39.0,1,0,0,5,15,15,1,1,18,0,28,6,3,5,3,54,48,27,0,1,12,2,6,2,0,0,3,0,1,2,12,12,0,2,12,0,1,3,8,9,0,1,11,6,27,6,33,32,9,48,0,5,0,0,14,17,0,13,27,161,39,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18403076470679372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752488174511033,0.0,0.15060487012157536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806867877162015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168247405554734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862250380951878,0.057401133199426614,0.10399607463490304,0.1602522318346556,0.0,0.0,0.0832798730923839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511749345534503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673174786300122,0.0,0.0,0.09872853087669192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821828045747072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19676141772211667,0.0,0.0,0.08240302381798524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972959612099276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933672373349435,0.08997716171488784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23805921566482746,0.13454070015674066,0.0,0.0,0.08606363951589471,0.08009533791682852,0.0,0.10324530522494374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033011126410972,0.0,0.07897979037610141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326838154080449,0.100238687733574,0.08435190869621173,0.0,0.0,0.10009128839688657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445356543249747,0.09352550053129408,0.0,0.10865191824001896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174974074936422,0.07675573688601994,0.10622041399043304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651039248537259,0.09200695940573878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202174133848301,0.0,0.0890996836089222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10257154496006754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516032561343257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094359619594657,0.10014384163513954,0.1767319397360181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880864581950384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528104363603185,0.08221984675499633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018250575795568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946602227185345,0.0,0.10015436417640323,0.0,0.0,0.060323483710473226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041502707208552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28589515662253706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789293557348849,0.0,0.18846280261018533,0.0,0.0,0.1449831677989237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036565303002906,0.0,0.15744963354545516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568497216524309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251159545533309,0.18100830914114474,0.0,0.0,0.10981486879478926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474252208971162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855207495199325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127628160507944
mentalhealth,_Kayleen_,2019/04/16,"Physically going into an office VS online/app help? I've never talked to a therapist before, but have wanted to for a long time now. Although due to not having insurance I've put it off. However, my mental health seems to be getting worse and I need help. 

I'm curious though if there is much of a difference for getting online help or actually going into an office?",2.9457947686116697,5.381247845070423,5.484024144869217,73.8104225352113,77.59154929577466,8.000804828973843,24.227364185110666,8.841846274778883,2.3446885311871237,291,10,48,7,7,103,53,71,0.056,0.779,0.165,0.797,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,0,1,12,12,6,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,10,11,1,11,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,5,33,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.21640782746777296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18870322003296786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316942028035193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23172309667520344,0.0,0.25206503253958296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23572275033559156,0.0,0.0,0.4459273985777216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19625248679647314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234840454758315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630206653752797,0.16443379286220625,0.17103660859624256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22293216926246187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20188389397427867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782439819050101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574828992588929,0.0,0.0,0.2178801447881868,0.0,0.12931126831640952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308010367319168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225994533330893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,brokebhearted,2019/04/16,"Can't remember if I've taken my meds or notttt I'm constantly scared I'm taking the double dose because I sometimes I can't remember if I've taken them or not, does this happen just to me?",2.8647967479674783,3.8327450731707344,5.2814634146341515,81.5389430894309,73.87804878048779,8.393495934959349,25.861788617886177,8.841846274778883,1.9351886178861788,152,5,31,3,3,54,28,41,0.083,0.917,0.0,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,8,8,4,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,1,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597489669502506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31195741893705464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526232984521025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552762292809817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32065520954972343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6540298193640929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890161634050215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855090592144293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21704927255095435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ariasmith842,2019/04/16,"Need some Additional Perspective I have been dealing with sleep issues for quite a while now, and I think it may be because I am just tense in my everyday life. My thoughts over consume me, and I just feel nervous all the time. There is no particular reason for me to be feeling nervous, but even doing the smallest tasks of daily life make me feel hesitant. And because I am so wrapped up in that emotion, I cannot sleep. It is like the fear is immobilizing me. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to combat this feeling? I used to never feel this way before.. maybe I am just more insecure and vulnerable with where I am in life rn. Thank you for anyone who took time in reading this!",4.426343283582089,5.9055093955223885,5.2225671641791065,81.48623880597016,70.71641791044777,8.046567164179105,29.817910447761196,8.548686976883017,2.232196417910448,545,22,105,9,10,177,86,134,0.16399999999999998,0.769,0.066,-0.9182,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,1,9,6,0,4,4,0,15,5,2,4,2,27,27,8,0,1,4,0,5,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,8,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,5,16,2,16,21,3,15,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,2,7,78,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136442503145044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290137315473673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19965675467948696,0.0,0.13935021294393066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883241573780175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331006544867084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842112824184209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816388725386407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18427885312113426,0.4140173527241299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092597800784232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34701185436408105,0.08000630779820825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931304406385438,0.0,0.16452189947626072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142815605649653,0.12630408651707234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418206056120064,0.16380727152318222,0.0,0.0,0.16837559236182756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277624451787497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077092666354747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493268906841977,0.0,0.13000949372423384,0.19098299194675394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181946668560924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414386132098079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998741109470602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LadyMeeow,2019/04/16,"Anxiety Pain Hi.

Just wondering if anyone else experiences ""heart pain"" with anxiety? I've had this pain since I was little (9). When I first experienced it my older sister told me it was growing pains (from my breasts) but I told her it's always on my heart. This pain is so tough on me. It hurts to breath in, even shallow breathing hurts. It feels like a charlie horse on my heart. It takes a while for the pain to go away. Growing up I always thought it was a heart attack.

I believe my anxiety stems from childhood trauma. I've never been to a doctor for my mental health. Just figured I wouldn't be taken seriously. :/",2.377513661202183,4.663789237704922,3.7536885245901637,86.25845628415303,78.75409836065573,6.361748633879781,24.101092896174865,7.492282038375204,1.1960961748633876,485,17,95,7,12,159,76,122,0.306,0.634,0.059,-0.9872,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,5,13,1,0,5,0,8,15,7,0,1,11,16,5,0,2,4,1,1,1,0,1,8,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,12,0,1,9,2,15,1,14,5,0,16,0,2,0,1,5,7,0,2,7,61,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694272590922207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336518830913701,0.0,0.0,0.07118754417472524,0.10431582679918096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158229625976643,0.09565334246541904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470440180081898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420630008609576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504874297777232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724419055546338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958919115790736,0.0,0.0,0.051477923855506216,0.07273270117681971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659907777459591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057860664394506725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082186990389153,0.0,0.4825788184931806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179782730297656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049738961346635344,0.10203982888695837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259999352169692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852173472421435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6499946845717498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421784040445199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654804632362883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082534191372992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1945666109399816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040802043166874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jiminie53421,2019/04/16,"How To Overcome Insecure Avoidant Attachment Disorder? I know this isn't super common but has anyone here had insecure avoidant attachment disorder and found a way to deal with it. I feel like I can't even function as a normal human being. The idea of love makes me uncomfortable but that doesn't mean I never want to be in a relationship, I'm just scared of intimacy of any kind. I can't even remember the last time I said I love you to my parents because I feel uncomfortable and anxious. They are nicer to me now after I was finally formally diagnosed with depression and anxiety but my childhood is not something I ever like to think about. I have an easier time saying I love my friends when I say it plurally but I don't think I mean it. I know it sounds dumb but I only feel comfortable saying I love you to my dogs. I can't make new friends because I always think people don't like me and I feel like the friends that I've kept from primary school and high school are annoyed at me. I just generally am uncomfortable around any people at all and I don't know how to deal with it...",4.611850152905198,5.601862600917437,5.883504587155964,78.76623547400615,69.77981651376146,9.850030581039755,30.58837920489297,10.047579312681364,3.0100650764525985,869,35,172,22,15,292,112,218,0.168,0.565,0.267,0.9853,1,2,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,1,1,12,22,2,5,7,0,18,5,0,4,3,46,41,15,0,2,8,1,4,4,3,0,1,5,0,1,8,10,0,3,15,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,5,9,34,14,22,34,1,18,0,1,0,4,19,5,1,0,16,113,42,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668623076199873,0.0,0.0,0.14169214941095934,0.0,0.07969752983927815,0.1176939161579543,0.0,0.07284518341114511,0.0,0.0,0.09274242125708153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701450533670786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481032088459065,0.08973021081179497,0.10574065959732858,0.0,0.0,0.2387989560176007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376200134766238,0.09423691038834794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210706457055205,0.14885264040600374,0.0,0.11412426238730647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422815753413244,0.2414679771157969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100720486976022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760670885698005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848759488221846,0.17176405820457813,0.08492072724820099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20358863640990288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37610661250471705,0.0,0.13908211861811567,0.0,0.0,0.2269654503067373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035015442740202,0.10061783836425066,0.0,0.0,0.10207442777082304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792336988538292,0.0,0.0,0.11567972803801793,0.0,0.0,0.14445079745180794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185049310813552,0.11801580160316005,0.0,0.09909917996631576,0.2485447110525905,0.10430250484198676,0.2108717480681775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020296949604976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002633011400727,0.0,0.0,0.12149656688942302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144815187188345,0.08269335413518902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ProbablyOverSharing,2019/04/16,"Anxiety Related I know old legends like skinwalkers don't exist or if they do the chances of running into one are basically impossible but I can't help to stress over that fact. I believe they are obviously based off something as other legends were but whenever something goes bump in the night my first thought is always something of the paranormal. I live in Australia in the bush and we have similar legends and I have never ever seen or heard anything weird at my place or camping and what not. My partner listens to ""true"" scary Reddit stories all the time and I love to listen to them but I think it's having a bad effect on me. Is there anyone in a similar boat or can give me tips to be not a pussy 😂😂 thank you guys and gals",3.5578538812785365,5.367314671232883,4.834452054794522,82.07213470319637,73.5205479452055,7.606392694063928,29.97488584474885,8.344100000000001,2.3082392694063927,586,26,111,10,12,194,101,146,0.118,0.8029999999999999,0.079,-0.7231,0,0,3,0,0,0,6.0,1,1,3,2,2,7,0,1,8,0,13,1,0,1,6,27,23,14,0,1,10,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,2,4,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,3,0,2,4,4,17,4,17,18,1,17,0,0,1,1,13,10,0,5,7,80,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186872700623207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801255722636184,0.0,0.0,0.14442673111238102,0.0,0.16997560300464928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246321195772168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327146130456795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683910562351794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569396255099864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198144556205556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045200446391313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844818992998031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113516182710709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091141195414534,0.0,0.1823901727829826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18642223840394806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930648541066336,0.0,0.0,0.1938360933927801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21674273396978,0.0,0.13996572715914793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580402839830976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4770440062361724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23660587980766845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19016634450407927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323508871418847,0.0,0.16398009032295133,0.12044277449462375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,overstressed13,2019/04/16,"Struggling with porn of all things.. I need advice. I dont even know how to begin.. I worry that my porn habit has become a problem.. I am trying right now to cut it out completely i just.. I dont know how to cope properly. Theres more to this but I admit that i do have some compulsion to watch porn but I never found it to be horribly unhealthy. The problem is that I've always had trouble with women, and it has been an escape for me. I find it hard to imagine that I cant 'healthily' watch porn. I also dont know how to feel like a sexual person .. without being able to have an outlet for it.. I also .. I've used it to fill time when I otherwise am too lonely and I need.. I need to figure out how to replace it.. I need advice on all sides of this and I need recommendations for... how to replace it, especially if anyone has gone through this before. Please.. I know this subject is a bit sensitive but I just.. I dont want it to rule my life or cause me to break down like I have before..",0.4022009569377971,2.409755320574164,2.9073444976076566,91.1389114832536,84.31100478468899,5.522488038277512,19.069377990430624,6.7829847944221076,0.1592851674641147,758,20,168,9,22,262,106,209,0.138,0.809,0.053,-0.9445,0,2,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,0,14,8,1,1,6,0,20,5,0,7,3,44,36,16,0,9,8,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,18,7,0,0,10,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,4,4,26,2,28,30,5,14,0,1,2,4,3,6,0,3,7,125,44,0,0.11592259004598672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265564267105981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540650675619472,0.09645688128333192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08105577029462427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802739313044065,0.19728317205388235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655744464262358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908443232428227,0.0,0.0,0.12154263014364655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5434416487499828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656577743338931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058613944611359776,0.08281512149128163,0.0,0.0,0.10595114718724163,0.0,0.0,0.12710313660694578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384387116404166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25483209540655616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818795535877549,0.11326784404054438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4297756583464709,0.08940664784445639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101219134285417,0.0,0.12724819297003911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22184452597251536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989972585090016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118746060879618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701381786151383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759539448058971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870382928256668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011989818831624,0.0,0.0,0.06837414705986636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11174524009705863,0.0,0.0,0.11772501720812713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Trashyvibes,2019/04/16,"Extremely sensitive to touch in some areas Im not sure if this falls in mental health but like whenever someone touches my neck or like anywhere near that area I immediately jolt and react violently and idek why but afterwards I start crying immediately and my whole mood is just ruined. 

Like my dad just attacked my neck because I wasn’t paying attention to my grand parents and I immediately started attacking him with force because I was trying to get him to stop and after that I just started crying. Jeez I’m still crying I’m not even mad I’m just pissed off.

Im not sure what it is I just hate the feeling when someone touches my neck. I remember that I used to get nightmares being chocked like in a way where I wasn’t afraid being chocked to death but it was more of the feeling of being touched in the neck. The feeling just gives me super anxiety. Why am I like this? Like just the thought of being touched in the neck right now will give me super anxiety right now",3.4495588235294115,5.588880500000003,4.548039215686277,82.57147058823529,74.72916666666666,7.225980392156862,28.481617647058826,8.124751697461798,2.032126470588236,784,33,148,13,17,256,97,192,0.232,0.593,0.175,-0.9511,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,13,20,6,1,7,0,12,7,6,2,2,33,28,11,1,1,15,2,8,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,1,6,0,1,1,5,8,0,0,5,8,21,11,18,18,3,24,0,1,0,0,6,12,2,3,16,95,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495813749390594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27505534076153426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473845324263066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39836971763905454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984545263151259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833739731337797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631808983369613,0.2319337697815703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935197525176325,0.0,0.12849840166978702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26115979384961324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543589281992548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12182677574166392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423193345428255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694265621149213,0.2064755607505412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20485619660498253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566956668570995,0.0,0.0965413960873477,0.10106786803392777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278712149141214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597165131872054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207508737656205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044085080337856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959553501520862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181654220069279,0.1349672510583559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,fedupfedoff,2019/04/16,"I feel like I'm done My brain is done, my body is done. My relationship is all but done...I don't want to die, I just want to disappear and not feel anymore",-1.0410000000000004,0.8092859714285723,1.6453571428571436,98.85089285714287,89.28571428571428,5.7857142857142865,17.32142857142857,7.1686216300943375,-0.18428571428571414,119,3,32,2,4,41,22,35,0.139,0.695,0.166,0.4503,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,2,2,0,1,9,12,2,1,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,5,1,2,9,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959605035257653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21948278232539803,0.0,0.22058064692767568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507174285010704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8088305078657406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981928439246893,0.14116144565073468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653462026369453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21214238808027372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23309253842301636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yourbeardhasegginit,2019/04/16,"Accidentally off Prozac - life is more beautiful NOTE: always talk to your doctor before doing anything to your meds! Our experiences will all be different

My doctor suggested I take my Prozac (60mg) in the morning because I was having issues with anxiety from March until now. I agreed but have just forgotten to take them since the mornings are so rushed. It’s been 4 days and I honestly feel so good. Better than I have in so long. My sex drive feels like it is coming back to life, I’m no longer feeling “eh”, I just feel energized and happy.

Obviously, I’m feeling the sense of awareness that this could be a fluke and I should be very mindful of my mental state and try to be relational and not make manic decisions.

How do you talk to your doctor about decreasing or going off your meds? I know this is a no-no for those with mental health issues but I’ve gone off my meds in the past and did okay until I was now longer okay. Then I went back on at a higher dose. I feel a bit over medicated after not taking my meds and just want to live my best, happiest, most joyful life. 
 
Any advice or sharing your experience would be appreciated!",4.103369222689076,5.604383459821432,5.299716386554625,80.53498949579834,71.54464285714286,8.306302521008401,24.783613445378148,8.841846274778883,1.7473915966386553,901,26,175,17,17,299,137,224,0.032,0.71,0.257,0.996,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,6,1,2,12,11,0,0,8,2,22,12,0,2,2,37,40,18,0,4,9,0,6,1,0,3,11,0,0,0,6,10,0,0,8,0,0,6,3,0,0,0,6,6,26,11,27,25,5,28,0,0,0,1,12,9,0,3,13,119,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392617581400987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849358147343779,0.0,0.0,0.07232316861527448,0.0,0.08135917074797598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751882983600168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355661213166006,0.0,0.0648313369811997,0.0,0.09049792107732878,0.0,0.11161011206322108,0.09405991163006897,0.11610909858939655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161303571500676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491360784973517,0.0,0.0,0.06858839502075005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111545248525308,0.0,0.32656806547386924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20806579174627507,0.0,0.0,0.3226493214750825,0.0759780598689934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060442427577908235,0.08920321114198301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321393465231272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304745542908225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22200820997730195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058448408493184015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253591921081158,0.05195833128524887,0.0,0.0939109743597508,0.094118383662101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099094450895223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.472533442792651,0.107138690668237,0.21435608259340275,0.0,0.107385442470395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015252448991088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797567004600795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398909411720597,0.17096380023753982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220618825970576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775173421672029,0.0627293052918214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858958985307184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554957827320923,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sartevscamus,2019/04/16,"How do You Get Help When You Can't Trust Mental Health Professionals? Catch 22. I understand I need help, but I can't trust mental health professionals. 

I'm struggling a lot with crippling anxiety, agoraphobia and indecisiveness recently. I have been avoiding leaving the house as much as possible and being out in public is becoming really overwhelming. 

I've seen therapists/pyschs before, but I usually stop seeing them rather quickly. I just don't feel trusting of them, nor do I feel comfortable expressing myself. 

I've had bad MH experiences in the past, haven't really been able to push myself to open up in years. 

Does anyone have suggestions? I know I need to reach out for treatment, but going to appointments is crippling for me. Mostly am preoccupied with assessing whether the person can be trusted, if they're paying attention, if they're being honest, what they're writing down, etc. Basically everything except answering their questions.",7.596272727272726,9.700511248484851,7.65128787878788,64.69693181818181,63.78787878787878,11.560606060606062,34.96212121212121,11.374738998889045,4.867575757575757,776,35,113,25,12,250,111,165,0.181,0.741,0.077,-0.959,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,3,0,6,11,0,4,4,0,18,2,0,1,0,32,29,13,0,5,9,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,7,0,2,7,0,1,3,5,5,0,0,4,4,17,6,19,22,4,18,0,1,2,0,13,8,0,6,7,77,18,3,0.16083445469824506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303791762089615,0.0,0.0,0.11245919031234962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429005161337382,0.0,0.1776290190928592,0.13685827493087802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074731515069822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937293165659865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454763721727645,0.15732695840709265,0.0,0.0,0.16264546566016894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402936438251789,0.0,0.09140592703647568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419190087721336,0.0,0.0,0.21560788947886472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855813666745336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839041011778953,0.0,0.0,0.1703004648634676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673570188992015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241666033367385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823183005275074,0.2385134204655461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353468580736013,0.0,0.14043444216839324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813166818513912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017139795616466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20606934016256045,0.0,0.15880462080132793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816423708745472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344648058178865,0.0,0.16813909295460547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743433947256353,0.0,0.0,0.177136429329509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035721156609389
mentalhealth,spiroagneww,2019/04/16,"Prozac and Alcohol Question? Take the Morning After or Wait? Hi all,

​

Hope you are all doing alright! I wanted to ask a quick question, something that has been bugging me for a while... I am on 10 mg of Prozac that I take in the morning. I am able to drink alcohol and have a relatively high tolerance, I don't blackout after 2 or 3 drinks or anything like that, so I feel like there is no real interaction between the prozac and alcohol that I drink.

​

However, every once in a while I will overdo and have more like 5 or 6 drinks and maybe a few shots, and get pretty drunk and maybe have some memory loss. I always am angry at myself when I do this, but with this lies my problem. I always worry the next day when I am supposed to take the medication that there will be an interaction when I take the medicine the next morning. My main fear is that it will stop working or start having adverse affects. 

Because of this, I usually count out my drinks (lets say 6) and then wait that amount of hours after I am finished drinking (plus a few extra just to be safe). I sometimes convince myself that I drank way more than I really did and end up waiting all day at times just out of paranoia that the two will interact and the medication will stop working completely! 

I'm aware this is somewhat irrational, mainly because I know that the medicine is always in my system and theoretically shouldn't change anything by taking it when alcohol is still present. However, I just wanted to ask all of your opinion. Should I be ok to take medication the day after drinking in the morning like normal if I don't have any bad interactions when I do drink alcohol? The medication won't just stop working or lose its effectiveness from this, even if there is still some alcohol in my system from the night before? I'm not asking this to try and justify drinking more, it is more so I can stop worrying so much and have a better relationship with alcohol, which I think will lead me to having less and less of those nights when I go overboard. Let me know what your guys experiences are and if you take your medication the same time the next day, even after a night you had a few more drinks than usual. Thanks all so much!",8.130883880234231,6.849970909512763,8.129366920782235,73.33419180201084,62.642691415313216,11.086553971936805,36.069053143299094,10.07000556051586,3.4305020660700483,1766,67,334,31,21,574,191,431,0.117,0.809,0.07400000000000001,-0.9692,2,0,18,0,0,0,47.0,0,6,0,8,22,17,0,1,26,2,45,27,0,3,5,70,72,39,0,10,15,0,1,4,0,9,15,1,0,1,23,20,19,8,7,11,0,2,6,6,0,1,4,2,42,11,40,54,25,57,0,2,0,0,19,12,0,16,44,253,65,4,0.05374896166909175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4020890574485952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417032554469122,0.11647395502476385,0.13062174308994226,0.03655113706541382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846163149065135,0.0,0.15074407075234075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04487813789806284,0.06552973630730542,0.0,0.045736407582311685,0.0,0.0,0.04753658873327165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056859274587915586,0.0,0.05635476369325325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386545349436315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5265351999229126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04760562650177931,0.0,0.0,0.07100136452780932,0.0,0.04528581837991795,0.0,0.0,0.05257679812949858,0.0,0.060482524978561485,0.027177089995491455,0.0383982689559495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02808161406551764,0.0,0.030546773561852574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321992245211663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567887290261655,0.0,0.053384846659139416,0.0529319003402187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059078047353098774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099239098204278,0.0,0.1050361108263842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06013133965577532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079961126961465,0.0,0.0,0.2707321210202511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902334252315169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148789151126376,0.15131927841577278,0.05266257045058929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05724089000123985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054682017117988,0.0,0.05143049736149061,0.0,0.0,0.12042227619425926,0.0,0.0,0.06117808552466005,0.0344329611660422,0.0,0.0,0.057706269845227885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042743331644617084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04137857662954722,0.05315909744812293,0.0,0.03804379171377063,0.0,0.0858479804386018,0.17974615469819002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828877102404068,0.0,0.0,0.0494848225041566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034440164349603584,0.0,0.0,0.06268290357389465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03649201679880745,0.0,0.05250492552111219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11839377536479373,0.0,0.06340506036001617,0.04266342396469168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738965272642808,0.10916935922329928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13062174308994226,0.0
mentalhealth,MassiveCook,2019/04/16,1 on 1 support? Are there any good subreddits or online communities for casual one on one conversations? I am trying to reach out for more peer support and just to feel like I have a voice/am being heard somewhere,5.0474796747967465,6.557554073170736,6.1448780487804875,75.34869918699188,69.2439024390244,9.369105691056909,28.300813008130078,9.725611199111238,2.7234813008130088,171,6,31,4,3,57,33,41,0.0,0.6729999999999999,0.327,0.9013,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,8,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,5,7,6,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,21,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192598525806444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16302761622211925,0.2303402702784864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704345412291649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575204222389934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4369666426055997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.731767457864789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21890520695313784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CatNo13,2019/04/16,"Not sure what i should do About a year ago i became more aware that i have some sort of underlying mental illness, and maybe even a learning disorder. I would say that for the last 1/3 of my life i have been on and off depressed, everything stresses me out(phone calls, going to work, etc) , and gives me anxiety. 

​

A little backstory about me, i am in my early 30s, i had cancer my senior year of HS and as a teenager i was sick most of the time through middle and high school. I did average in school for the most part, after going through chemo and surviving cancer, i was alive but not living if that makes any sense. Finally 2 years after cancer treatment i enrolled in college and went and got a degree and got a real job. I came out to my family right after that, they had always assumed that i wasn't dating because i was so sick, when it was really more the fear of rejection since the area i live in is not progressive at all.  I met someone and we were together for 3 years, and sadly he passed away in 2014 unexpectedly, my father passed away as well that year unexpectedly. A few months later, i decided to change everything in my life because everything was a reminder of my boyfriend and dad. I left the job i had been working, and decided to go back to school for a different major. I'm now within about 4-5 classes of graduating.  


Back in February i realized things were getting increasingly worse, i started sleeping and feeling tired all of the time, blowing off plans, not doing assignments, failing tests. Every time i have tried to make a change or do something i have this overwhelming sense of dread, even something as simple as sending a text message i obsess over it and have to re-read it 20+ times to decide if it sounds ok, let alone go to a teachers office hours. I have always struggled to ask for help, and i think its because of the way i was treated growing up when i asked for help. Because of this i feel like i should know a lot more about the field i am going into, and i know that i am behind everyone on a lot of things to do with my major, even if i passed the classes i feel like my knowledge of some subject matter should be a lot better, which makes me wonder if my focus and inability to learn some of these things is caused by my depression, stress and anxiety, or if there some other underlying thing going on with my ability to memorize and my comprehension of subject matter. Sorry if this comes off as rambling

​

TL;DR I've been struggling with depression,stress, anxiety for the last several years and have yet to seek out professional help, and i don't know what to do now, where to start, etc...",12.934741153714867,7.143766392649906,11.996313573785415,63.22160427807489,58.18762088974854,15.182114006144042,45.69222892251678,11.78182255692154,5.153038548185232,2103,79,395,39,17,689,247,517,0.156,0.7659999999999999,0.079,-0.9921,3,1,2,0,0,0,64.0,1,0,1,7,18,20,0,8,26,1,40,10,1,4,3,85,70,39,0,10,13,2,3,2,0,4,9,2,0,0,24,31,0,0,17,0,0,15,6,13,1,0,21,5,55,7,81,43,21,79,0,6,0,0,16,31,0,20,34,293,79,18,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060685024082600174,0.0,0.0,0.07090317129886488,0.0,0.0,0.11392721579260352,0.1483512097900993,0.1663710449959777,0.0465546602388921,0.0,0.1571134931174775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800037719470933,0.0,0.12863950047624853,0.10528192629554624,0.0,0.16692857482770385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054667282806603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990458249513136,0.07829918237782592,0.0,0.07032654196592097,0.14484168878976092,0.058971610796721474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792776084979552,0.0,0.0,0.07152538027280518,0.07846026973983967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270039463294954,0.13565013297018474,0.0,0.05767989883718781,0.06541577898787068,0.18458036875314585,0.0,0.06453731961114878,0.07703572656927289,0.10384521188144663,0.09781465139137052,0.0,0.07499379863376232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035767149991536545,0.06567238265557611,0.2334419301957196,0.0,0.10950628552036114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766044368568828,0.07233099152237582,0.0,0.0,0.06741860401572926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358705505450824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287029527337987,0.1116069061190722,0.0,0.0,0.07438121165621063,0.0700042554717537,0.09670963280673853,0.06689149565423473,0.06861418680400888,0.12090160283984434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746049037012217,0.0,0.0,0.1370913096700653,0.0,0.06877655166639997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899085580971186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05464354682096152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413473254690696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684778093926138,0.07792165208347085,0.04385676990664399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05846385391572963,0.0,0.05444156986504147,0.0,0.207853348815159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733950401199037,0.0,0.056630226616146626,0.0,0.06850872381398247,0.0,0.05800532861376088,0.10540660186357582,0.0,0.0766345628531358,0.09691166620967707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352596332927073,0.1431370140983584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06452206436399813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819252235773276,0.04386594449846965,0.0,0.0,0.15967663459811776,0.07868387542995255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046479359601317764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05433979259658748,0.0,0.0,0.061553117350532136,0.06346244151880437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742411725028635,0.09967834723280757,0.0,0.06976585836191558,0.04863151069072517,0.0,0.1663710449959777,0.2645132036645238
mentalhealth,Ughwhythough,2019/04/16,"Struggling to accept my disabilities I'm 33. I have fibromyalgia and Aspergers. My fibro has been getting worse over the last few years and ""simple"" daily tasks are getting harder to do. I've been out of permanent work for the past for years. I've been struggling to keep jobs for a number of reasons, mostly mental health. I'm doing an outpatient program, that was way to expensive but I am sick if the current mental health system.

Anyway 

I am worried that I will never be able to get back into mainstream work. Even if I sort out my mental health issue, I still can't work as fast as others. I am a slow thinker too. I know and understand that I am still in recovery, that it will take a while to get my confidence back, but I don't think I can ever perform at the same level that  I used to. I know, from my training, that I am supposed to grieve for my former self in order to move on but I am finding it difficult to accept myself. I was always the ""gifted child"", the ""high achiever"", and to be stuck in a job with people who clearly have higher needs than me, and to only be paid $4/hour is just heartbreaking to me. I know it sounds a bit asshole-like, to consider myself better than, or more capable than, others but I just don't feel like I belong with them yet.

I don't know how to change my thinking. I logically understand that we as people are all the same, we are all simply consciousnesses. But I can't stop thinking that ""I'm better than this"".

I have spoken to my therapist and her advice was to just allow yourself time to heal and see this as rehabilitation, that it's better to have a reason to leave the house and to earn a few tax free dollars. We haven't really looked at the ""superiority"" issue yet. My next appointment is in a month.

Tldr; I feel like I'm better than people with higher needs than me and I don't want to think like that anymore.",3.635748480243162,4.9054137526595785,5.1189513677811584,82.28000000000003,72.37765957446808,7.605471124620062,24.598784194528875,8.07648339933343,1.3863741641337386,1465,42,289,21,28,493,180,376,0.097,0.79,0.113,0.8703,3,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,3,0,1,10,14,16,0,2,18,0,37,5,0,5,5,66,67,23,1,5,11,0,2,3,0,2,5,1,0,2,19,18,0,2,20,0,5,1,8,5,0,0,8,5,44,12,53,54,9,38,0,2,2,0,8,13,0,5,24,212,63,9,0.09109777722788544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901969358103702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580064834437998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034451630710368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14009713511608074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32227432390288746,0.0994551786154066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636936917290648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060169222695419175,0.08240315494879535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212354669672304,0.13016054050759585,0.0,0.0,0.08326171801090111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037931471789174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290498031807389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624980325629784,0.0,0.0,0.08971296031965482,0.10511460389928287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19016482296070172,0.18080097456210706,0.08097189009017187,0.0,0.0,0.2002598238070113,0.07425684709908675,0.0,0.09645939260368434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351731728123528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649918930995117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27541539905950946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271337665980736,0.09682252029641604,0.0,0.13509569503746624,0.07026022179797099,0.0,0.09688351956360608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692839646048665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696313629236865,0.1894671853498633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835956878408564,0.18732737460727672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259313398164703,0.0,0.09503484933566247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455016051399708,0.0761618208509545,0.0,0.1904703524131699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849419121710994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577154072214144,0.0,0.23348710912241635,0.0,0.0,0.05311984649049845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967199765979206,0.0,0.07867923049010209,0.0,0.0,0.053731829271028465,0.07230917531099511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989608003735728,0.09251421476625496,0.09283641769605526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173279635536197
mentalhealth,lilysadfreshbruise,2019/04/16,"Hopeless I’ve tried to kill myself a couple of time. It doesn’t feel right. I don’t wanna make my family sad, that’s the only thing that have stopped me from doing it again. but I did it a couple of days ago. always the same, overdose. I went to the hospital and I almost get into really bad problems with the law. I used to puke all the shit out of me. But that day was different. I lost a friend, he hates me now. I left the city where I was living for two years. I have to start over, I’m afraid I don’t wanna have these kind of thoughts. I just wanna be happy, but what I always feeling like i don’t fit in this world??. I know I’m not alone, but I feel that way. I started to go to therapy, I hope they can really help me. I have to admit I’m not ok.",-0.6022488356620102,1.2199351257485027,2.0894111776447133,96.60727711244179,86.96407185628746,5.148236859614107,15.265801729873589,6.42735559955562,-0.6127974717232201,574,10,141,6,18,199,101,167,0.199,0.638,0.162,-0.775,1,1,0,0,0,2,24.0,0,0,1,1,4,15,3,1,9,1,14,1,1,2,1,29,33,5,1,5,7,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,1,6,0,0,2,6,9,0,1,6,3,25,6,21,26,2,22,0,3,0,0,5,9,1,2,11,94,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475910617762882,0.0,0.1522289496825428,0.15744985082957128,0.0,0.0,0.2529904206451338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269327506493161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364208393961439,0.0,0.19608435570982724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588315479855247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331363688775395,0.0,0.2306020001726037,0.10860517229618163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174524961382046,0.0,0.07942567768977192,0.0,0.08639810324739704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618311773220325,0.0,0.15009111569791075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018977286271313,0.0,0.0,0.15099301679647045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819078715655833,0.15830843043220166,0.08354779637417918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517329853172055,0.0,0.0,0.07427069776704602,0.0,0.13423898383861374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595092632791875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147644955869513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562024687251447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546536026482926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477949302328246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982670463571835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560492965896476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21520514680565692,0.0,0.0,0.1270979306578114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385140652036535,0.0,0.1009972431051374,0.0,0.0,0.12068918165294318,0.0886457609648699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032135531009548,0.0,0.1485042591154372,0.0,0.0,0.13129895358739482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066868211548548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14092672820370886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789774725280408
mentalhealth,mrpeasantboi,2019/04/16,"Boyfriend ended up in the psych ward because of paranoia - asking for advice on how to deal with it Today is his sixth day.

I don't know if it's the meds or his actual emotions but since yesterday, I can feel that he's been pulling away from me in a way. Today I woke up to a text from him asking me to come see him as soon as I can, that he needed me. Went straight from work as soon as I got off but 30 minutes after I've been with him, I found out he called his uncle and asked him to come as well. They ended up talking about things I couldn't relate to so I got left out. 

That made me leave earlier than I thought I would, confused, and honestly hurt to some extent. I haven't properly talked to him since yesterday after he was moved to this other hospital, can't get him to call me or text me or tell me what's happening, even the slightest. We had basically been living together for a month before all this happened so please bear with me. But am I being too selfish at this point? Doesn't he want me in his life anymore? Is it just the meds? What should I do?",4.640379487179487,4.232091075555559,5.477333333333334,86.61969230769233,69.35555555555554,8.7008547008547,27.52991452991453,8.139509932561175,1.4724017094017094,832,23,188,10,13,273,130,225,0.076,0.865,0.059,-0.4226,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,1,0,1,1,10,5,0,1,7,0,19,1,0,2,1,32,39,17,0,6,8,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,13,10,0,0,4,0,0,5,5,3,1,0,12,2,34,2,39,23,3,33,0,1,1,0,26,15,0,6,12,132,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.1220301366543462,0.0,0.0,0.12219678720632225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240153632340626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3507128131908196,0.0,0.11748798997901615,0.0,0.0,0.07622892911571054,0.0,0.10640779493601006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25537875558500656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154379018165076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064649204617341,0.12892039913572065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406636986795685,0.2215132324717482,0.0,0.0,0.08259392283111809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06322871366740562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711016864734565,0.0,0.0,0.06533312931449843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000267931424522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221161471917329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13386792608226372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872385786591209,0.0,0.0,0.13240921640910233,0.13586649539742995,0.0,0.08832606103107732,0.0,0.0,0.11042087578315253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832472788402396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778032969294558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981320601449917,0.13290767956497762,0.0,0.09272251585518856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372666455285465,0.11821206461026285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09964814962792667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20688424543177394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010198773694757,0.10929865230741674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307723819453787,0.0,0.0,0.09927522359444876,0.0,0.0,0.23706434305382115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375735237350851,0.0992583613029258,0.0,0.0,0.11243439235511908,0.11592200942325405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103742332220313,0.0,0.0,0.08883147741624317,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,The_Ailing_Mind,2019/04/16,"Getting Diagnosed When I was first diagnosed with my mental illnesses, it was a whirlwind of mixed emotions. Relief, anger, confusion, fear, validation, hope, guilt. The list could go on but I wanted to share a few. 

Relief - I finally had answers! I finally knew what was going on with me, and I finally had a name for my demons. It was like a weight had been lifted.
Anger - I was so mad, why did I have to have mental illnesses?! I thought I was a good person and therefore didn’t deserve this struggle. I was mad at my own brain for betraying me and causing me so much pain.
Confusion - I was so lost, I felt like I couldn’t trust myself anymore because my brain was so messed up. I didn’t understand how my brain could be so awful to me when I was always trying so hard to be normal. How was any of this real?
Validation - Do you know how amazing it is to have what you’ve experienced for years be validated?! Like, it’s all real! That was such an amazing feeling.
Hope - I finally saw the light, I had hope! While I knew I would have to keep fighting every day of my life, I now felt like I could and that I had a chance to find happiness.
Guilt - I blamed myself for not getting help earlier. I knew something wasn’t right but I was so scared of whatever it was that I let it stop me from seeking help earlier. I was so disappointed in myself.

Starting on the path to managing my mental illness was hard but I am so glad I did it. If you are struggling and have not reached out for help, please do! I promise it will get better, we are in this together! 

Please feel free to comment about your experience getting help for your mental health 😊",2.43879345603272,4.490826294478532,3.9952392638036818,85.77343149284258,77.46625766871165,7.291451942740286,25.89734151329243,8.238735603445708,1.7280109611451944,1276,49,258,24,30,424,154,326,0.249,0.5539999999999999,0.197,-0.9656,0,0,1,0,2,0,46.0,1,4,0,3,17,36,5,8,10,1,48,12,3,5,1,50,72,24,0,11,6,0,7,4,0,2,8,0,0,1,16,9,1,2,12,0,1,2,6,17,0,1,35,10,50,20,31,27,4,24,1,2,1,0,14,9,0,6,17,188,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179079615827179,0.0,0.0,0.05867247962088595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556529391086429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052594699190500784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630650528621907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889467144525921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863199901211596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20665958176978774,0.0,0.0,0.05564262858132464,0.0,0.0,0.17514214361528874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705193297212948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269353211244063,0.0,0.0,0.08439713137415401,0.0,0.09708753267712324,0.08725021364242491,0.0,0.16568217872804536,0.378056426527748,0.07885717544725049,0.07338862439634185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803082542720359,0.0,0.09806835536109862,0.07236648625956668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184528832003144,0.1545775498406418,0.0,0.0,0.09171023133871677,0.0,0.0,0.2313231954382139,0.0,0.0,0.2570826720438458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668847935974821,0.0,0.0,0.04741652117638681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882258238265581,0.06094120256575801,0.168605673221301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418340104659732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34779457616070697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342477725749261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453481449881915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180662772147986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533523933306774,0.0,0.18941622332131355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19640811555419094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368154465798182,0.0,0.0,0.08638003749945923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642156411422957,0.0,0.0,0.06106851313634134,0.0,0.0,0.07213286264930842,0.0,0.1803944760757695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849565621070275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05857757880750124,0.0,0.0,0.08981917713330424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088941699920785,0.0,0.0,0.10506422193311007,0.0,0.0,0.07785311358883805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061289918244334565,0.0,0.0,0.05556065877481085
mentalhealth,justathrowawayokay1,2019/04/16,"SEVERE insecurities preventing me from having relationships (friendships and romantic). If you have overcome this... how? To start off I am a 19f, no friends, no romantic partners (ever...at all...)

I don’t have any friends because I isolated myself from them a couple years ago. I never wanted to go anywhere, hang out... do anything because I just felt so bad about myself whenever I’d be with them. Not because of anything they said or did, but because literally anytime i’d look in the mirror i’d cringe, I dreaded anytime someone wanted to take pictures with me because I felt so ugly, I felt fat, they’re all perfect. I literally hated myself anytime I was with them. In every way I compared myself I was inferior. It was bad. It still is. 

I am in college and have never had a boyfriend, not even close. Virgin, no first kiss, etc, the whole deal. There’s a small part of me in the back of my mind that knows i’m not that ugly. If it was true I’d never get hit on/approached, which I do, a lot. But the part that feels bad about myself is CRIPPLING, it consumes my every thought. I know logically that i’m not particularly fat (still overweight/not skinny), i’m 5’9/‘10, approx. 164lbs, but let me tell you, when I look in the mirror I feel like I am morbidly obese. I hate the way I look. This is a big part to why I have never dated anyone. When someone is looking at me, I automatically assume they’re judging me, or looking to see how fat I am. I hate when someone compliments me because I KNOW they’re lying, anytime I get a compliment I feel 1000x worse about myself. I wear only sweatshirts (even in the summer) because I don’t want people to see how fat I am. I don’t like to be touched because then they’ll feel how fat I am. I have 0 pictures of myself online. It never ends. 

This is really starting to affect me because I hate feeling like this. I want friends, I want to date, but how can I go on like this? My goal is to lose about 30 or so lbs, exercise, buy new clothes, change my look and maybe i’ll start to think/feel/act like a normal person.

If anyone has been through something similar or dealing with it currently, please tell me how you cope/overcame it.",2.5777670940170907,4.584760060185189,4.162870370370372,84.94608974358975,76.87037037037038,6.282621082621082,27.049145299145298,7.2200825789825185,1.4390059829059825,1694,69,331,20,39,565,190,432,0.17800000000000002,0.7020000000000001,0.12,-0.9876,1,0,1,0,0,0,81.0,0,3,5,4,23,24,4,2,15,0,36,11,7,7,9,64,78,27,0,9,16,0,9,5,4,1,7,1,0,2,17,9,7,1,14,1,1,3,15,11,0,1,12,18,65,13,36,61,8,42,0,2,8,2,19,13,0,9,29,223,82,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120250056141559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04695164354765834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655301581357308,0.0,0.1136330993468191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308984589377128,0.17294419568137018,0.3787920378276792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303839516818644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639482479527042,0.0,0.0,0.1423607117043468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06115165179059509,0.0,0.07700125467142308,0.09120457053746417,0.062453394122117964,0.11634349971289075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20946145229583432,0.09864874155024836,0.19887647449289306,0.0,0.0,0.058727985511685024,0.0,0.0,0.16002747416630153,0.0,0.0721442909689773,0.0,0.078477516102461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27266288277859835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383276869814815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060119938289577,0.0,0.1686547406968095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478726529074532,0.07724151564720061,0.0,0.05869793455825585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936302663809896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06971380144996463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662512937631312,0.06668221070896962,0.0,0.0,0.06764753259726038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05251035291669806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243006942279553,0.0,0.04786575953803482,0.060285730662806375,0.0,0.07578853882596204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04423074762530843,0.0,0.0,0.07412640015519173,0.0,0.0,0.06567575399182729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003674822724233,0.0,0.0,0.07799899743420573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754998639639669,0.05315271524776493,0.0,0.0,0.1466070845798537,0.0,0.1102757424379444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191178325412421,0.0,0.1206933428311001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04424000045118845,0.0,0.054812471805317314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036169071712801,0.1096063233780084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230061626707306,0.07708410287438974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703607694008816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04446146239129418
mentalhealth,Dlk24,2019/04/16,"distractions Currently having family issues so my mental health is in shits now. Really need to distract myself from all of this so if anyone has any podcasts, discord, apps music recommendations or anything else that might help take the pain away please let me know. My exams are soon but i have no motivation and also 2 weeks off which means il have to stay at this hell of a home .",5.852916666666665,7.215555125000002,6.251000000000001,75.89399999999998,67.19444444444444,9.093333333333334,25.511111111111113,9.3871,2.1337911111111105,307,8,54,6,5,99,66,72,0.232,0.691,0.077,-0.9221,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,2,2,2,0,8,3,1,1,1,10,12,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,5,0,9,10,1,9,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,3,4,39,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17979566577437167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528914260607891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572056605773852,0.0,0.1850151059057972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21123424136957306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878157755840094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21194876686579994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23898270781025416,0.0,0.0,0.15069813590636644,0.0,0.2255218130461533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23466305798349724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356013566058173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299028796360717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449046860266079,0.0,0.0,0.2265747462396719,0.2385080338673589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667078507177383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392339019053901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467947212199929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144031211033198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23078373210468345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396377938222932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16904342364554956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18034425801351867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ynnacnu,2019/04/16,"What am I missing? So, this might be a stupid question. I've been trying to deal with racing thoughts, intrusive repetitive and negative self thought, depression, mood swings, self harm, lack of focus/attention, and anxiety for the greater part of my life. It doesn't seem to matter what system I put in place, my brain will find a way to mess it up. 

When I was dealing with this privately I had first thought (for years) that everyone else had similar problems and they were just dealing with it better than me. 

I can get that there are chemical imbalances and maybe cognitive patterns that are impacting me, but for people who don't have these, on-going, mental health concerns what is happening in their head 24/7?

Nothing? Silence? Peace?

'Normal' people must get anxious, feel fear, or have some negative self thought, but, what, are they able to turn it off? 

Or is everyone struggling on some scale and we are all not talking about it?

I guess I'm just trying to understand what I'm aiming for here. Am I a failure outright or just currently failing?

I just can't see another way of being.",5.406371100164204,7.067481295566505,5.382581280788178,80.57649917898195,68.55665024630542,9.157175697865354,32.74515599343186,9.558583805096642,3.1938324466338255,865,39,155,19,15,270,132,203,0.226,0.757,0.017,-0.9914,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,3,3,9,11,1,2,4,0,24,4,2,0,2,38,40,12,0,4,10,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,17,9,0,0,9,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,9,2,16,1,22,26,6,15,0,3,1,0,13,6,0,9,5,111,33,1,0.11756873682414808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328107156712385,0.08993976187068947,0.13281920800082828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397999359890177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124559261148727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636246157193597,0.1012617807514811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982135935257717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22468393266600686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229751498164372,0.05944628588357464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745569552001774,0.10000390748260332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228496250399074,0.0,0.06681702250976669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295152184283897,0.0,0.10396564569687818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065944256297087,0.1249700694820809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304227573951413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181135984521321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848163425672645,0.1247218505370012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151923998812592,0.11281037382913685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273154849907862,0.0,0.16301471765871334,0.0,0.12283430675116848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249740313597964,0.0,0.11818905321127315,0.13170389211247974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368706157317608,0.10703016243175613,0.3679494998890134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290837063811474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449729723465124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37334577793213203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596429097780516,0.12788102495202136,0.0,0.12239320131813575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664118183351866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571041187230151
mentalhealth,RayTheGrey,2019/04/16,"Somewhat desperate. Im a 20 year old guy suffering from somewhat frequent mood swings and other issues. All of which have gotten worse over the last few months. I often can't look at myself in the mirror because it makes me feel incredibly disgusting. l am losing my hair and thinking about it often drives me into a panic. I am very afraid That one day ill lose control completely and hurt myself badly. Or even kill myself. Im afraid that the way ive been coping has made things much worse. 
Most of the time I am fine and happy. But at a moments notice I can have an intense episode of madness that usually doesnt last longer than half a day. Ive seen a psychiatrist but i feel unable to fully describe what im going through when im not in the middle of an episode. She wasnt much help.. Im mostly just venting to calm myself down.",3.1296428571428585,4.903002202380957,4.331666666666667,85.38000000000002,74.59523809523809,6.466666666666668,24.5,7.1686216300943375,1.067471428571428,662,21,128,7,14,217,113,168,0.16399999999999998,0.7879999999999999,0.048,-0.9345,0,0,0,0,0,3,14.0,0,0,0,3,6,15,3,3,12,0,13,2,1,3,1,23,22,8,1,0,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,5,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,11,0,2,5,5,15,3,17,17,8,23,0,4,2,0,3,8,0,7,12,87,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193813772847604,0.07442353446323757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800664047307855,0.0,0.13693174740261535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15747294497675451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063778061141409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346242837937264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938525875520136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12088602689232468,0.0,0.1299646368508257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818328181015224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306974179734629,0.0,0.659378382453297,0.12742784921402114,0.0,0.0,0.13507196163418536,0.0,0.0,0.1990355559546676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252292730709513,0.2731698359477961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552234257630345,0.08149449404031132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744924484548913,0.0,0.17949702797800995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13899766632538774,0.12811051363507114,0.0,0.0827297915332413,0.0,0.0,0.14324362169543847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110964920544203,0.07822887448752153,0.0,0.0,0.07119032514506657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446236346463414,0.10073514630094392,0.0,0.09690754099378154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24883561221388495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07862048204040592
mentalhealth,ghost_of_arabia,2019/04/16,"Coping with abandonment I'm 22 , i was diagnosed with severe depression and schezophrenia , i live in the middle east , where they consider mental illness is a shame or something non-existant , all my tries to get help have failed , i was denied having a therapist , and even with a job its impossible for me to do that behind my parents back due to how expensive the city that i live in , until i met someone in the USA who was everything that i ever wished for in a big sister , she has helped me alot , and we had an amazing siblings relationship , my depression yet still grows stronger by the day , until she said i was starting to poison her and she completly abandoned me , right when i'm having a life threatning illness and that added to my depression which is not helping , i no longer have any will left to fight my illness , yet i'm getting my heart broken by day knowing that my life could probably end soon and without her forgiving me and giving me another chance , what can i say to try and get her back ? How can i find a will to fight and survive what i'm going through ? I feel as a lost cause now that i have no one at all.
I wished i had different living situations to seek out mental help way earlier and never be a burden on someone.",9.753827160493827,6.742985637860084,9.523213991769547,70.06679629629632,60.93415637860082,12.847572016460907,40.349382716049384,11.00357731598739,4.279564938271605,982,39,186,19,10,322,140,243,0.211,0.705,0.084,-0.9871,3,0,1,0,2,0,20.0,1,0,1,3,13,14,3,1,14,0,21,8,1,3,4,35,38,17,0,3,3,2,1,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,11,15,0,2,4,0,1,2,5,12,0,1,9,3,34,2,29,25,3,33,0,7,0,0,23,13,0,2,17,140,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894693833080682,0.12173319697207965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785360627690587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925906328415704,0.0,0.0,0.1217208659193346,0.0,0.0,0.0926904820503614,0.0,0.0,0.14974022558985536,0.0,0.2999711183217252,0.11783152936832306,0.0,0.12129204158099208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282357161445654,0.0,0.0,0.07667805705672699,0.1050123889551109,0.0,0.0,0.1043365291054764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0586998988306456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610651888589287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18196075130787498,0.11136658536314772,0.06597809103111668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375702713986406,0.3112576486071153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520397657090348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380144826606328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261349325601543,0.0,0.16399925116004355,0.0,0.0,0.3075356366424222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672876964219046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23398803948090105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953775791843943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786673396437586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890707627074133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251674411578557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463998913683387,0.0,0.09914243270130342,0.1104306326350235,0.09232148267676896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115157585596626,0.0,0.0,0.1304929288789339,0.0,0.0,0.19672973994140114,0.08937374319007235,0.0,0.0,0.08217092871617086,0.0,0.0927116878112623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479243824580342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15763848848950174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214888977855244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670014852784849,0.11190910852350792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lost_not_found88,2019/04/16,"Any advice Hi guys,
Right I am completely unable to open up to my GF, we've been together 5 years and she still feels like I shut her out.

(I'd just like to point out she knows my situation and the issues I have, she's a good person and this is why I adore her) 

When she confronts me about it, I always end up just placating her and I can't really reach the deeper issue, which is obviously me not being able to tell her what's going on in my head.

I've suffered with anxiety and depression throughout my teenage and adult life, I'm starting on the road for councelling (got to enjoy those waiting lists)

So really, does anyone have any advice in which I can ease myself into being more open with her, I know I can, I just can't bring myself to do it, anxiety literally cripples me and I shut down.

Thanks.",2.9568811188811166,4.389688072727279,4.592727272727274,84.74139860139861,74.33333333333333,7.743589743589744,22.995337995338,8.384062270229773,1.2772750582750578,632,17,131,11,13,213,102,165,0.08199999999999999,0.7959999999999999,0.122,0.8229,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,7,9,1,0,4,0,13,2,1,0,1,23,23,9,0,0,4,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,3,7,14,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,1,29,6,20,19,1,24,0,2,0,0,15,17,0,0,7,88,36,0,0.17065285593637122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33351999151817824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199684685432,0.0,0.0,0.23209958794502694,0.0,0.26109793538783344,0.0,0.0,0.11932444474724704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17892627264283115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698305475791718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933946423922076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114777790843453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628721150602962,0.12191443437899653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698595072524807,0.14313551898951826,0.13648667832738945,0.0,0.0,0.16897315738079774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513906354084646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562344891873433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875726933297769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053715895238724,0.1667447308036021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490074914161348,0.0,0.0,0.1613221087375748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186491786579124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573660653829767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19182096014685776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078896977719268,0.0,0.1362835911920667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491581179174894,0.15711422181193244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398765912881526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989484414936276
mentalhealth,kniightmare99,2019/04/16,"Fuck NHS mental health services Hi guys, so after being fucked over by multiple NHS mental health services I have made the decision to go private. But, where do I start? I have no clue where to look to seek help privately, I already started googling for private phycologists but there are just so many different options that come up and I’m a little lost. TIA",4.399303482587066,6.824172238805971,4.615746268656718,81.85904228855723,72.88059701492537,7.451741293532338,30.56965174129353,8.344100000000001,2.512365174129353,288,13,50,5,6,90,52,67,0.129,0.773,0.098,-0.0542,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,2,0,2,0,5,4,0,1,0,8,15,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,2,1,4,0,8,12,0,10,0,1,1,2,3,5,2,1,3,30,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269979587732901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719459491396208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21491545868052525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803375192455961,0.0,0.0,0.11690554064381435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036779365483089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4373045367282628,0.0,0.0,0.1378781316694051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616806751297365,0.0,0.0,0.17273839516126271,0.0,0.22454871152847491,0.0,0.0,0.19464079485486235,0.0,0.2085501726588978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4145997229110485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911947495491429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Even_Parsnip,2019/04/16,"I absolutely hate myself I have been to over 5 therapists and 2 psychiatrist, been prescribed 5 different medications for depression, anxiety, and ptsd. None of them have done anything but make me feel emotionally numb and unable to express anything. I've recently started seeing another therapist and I'm worried this won't work. I don't think I'll get better and I'm questioning whether to give up or not because I'm scared of what will happen be it good or bad and things are getting worse with time. I am starting to have hallucinations (auditory and visual)  and reluctant to take medication for depression because of past side effects. I know there are many different medications and they have different effects but I am getting tired of being given pills that don't help. Please don't tell me I should get help immediately or check into a hospital, I hate the thought of being hospitalized and I have an appointment today",6.793035714285715,8.5801474702381,7.570000000000004,65.72500000000002,65.3690476190476,11.314285714285715,37.214285714285715,11.20814326018867,4.905264285714287,757,39,120,24,12,252,106,168,0.256,0.6859999999999999,0.058,-0.9881,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,4,1,9,2,1,3,0,21,6,0,3,0,28,42,16,0,1,7,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,5,12,0,0,7,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,5,2,14,2,16,31,1,10,0,2,1,0,8,4,0,4,6,78,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264051799241495,0.09221895654443248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19840160835627998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065261728698227,0.14696998980745998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106614986650442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20765578125854334,0.0,0.0,0.3778412804585067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233625463280171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560037246381246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060952734814965485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519255999219425,0.11564070944095532,0.0,0.10111001594901356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660027515326102,0.0,0.0,0.2380325573855259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16160168324493304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625007597017903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804667840949221,0.12221683937343968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3643185458305819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11507678927205264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232559953460565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091426265991686,0.0,0.1350414460838319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902669281071725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068966479759287,0.0,0.09606121786728793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064911276887493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063715897448286,0.0,0.10536434134609594,0.0,0.0,0.2799312403301703,0.0800867924574238,0.0772423465843277,0.0,0.09570171566795888,0.07029255890909378,0.13855229258247234,0.11426549108884047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877604430035479,0.12242243381762655,0.12284879928966765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,thegraveyardcowboy,2019/04/16,"Religious Abuse and Religious Gaslighting Listen to 42. Religious Abuse, Gaslighting, And Sexual Shame, with Mackenzi Kingdon by The Contemplative Light Podcast #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-433727507/religious-abuse-gaslighting-and-sexual-shame-with-mackenzi-kingdon",30.90192307692308,39.13872457692308,17.16461538461539,-4.844615384615338,14.769230769230775,14.430769230769231,55.30769230769231,13.023866798666859,9.616292307692307,253,11,13,6,2,61,21,26,0.333,0.667,0.0,-0.91,0,0,0,0,3,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlexandraIsGay,2019/04/16,"Do i need tharapy? Hi, my name is Alexandra, I am 19. 

So I feel like this is a silly question to ask although  I don't want to waste a professionals time with my stupid problems when they could be saving someones life.

Now let me give you some of my past. During my school years I was bullied all through and haven't had any real friends or if I did I am too toxic to keep them long term.

Now this is the start of my problems. I feel like my personality is really toxic in which i take things way too far and people can't stand me and yeah. I feel like when I try and change I always go back to that toxic girl, it is like a circle and no matter what I do I cannot win.

Next, I often get suicidal thourghts but i think i'd never act on them, although I do cut every now and then. I always get negative thourghts at wotk about how no one is there for me and how i am worthless then I get thourghts of cutting. As I work in a warehouse this is easy to get away with as i can say i cut myself on a box. People say i do it for attention but idk. 

You can say that I need help because I cut, although I feel like i would waste there time.

Thanks for taking the time to read my long post and I am thankful for any helpful replys",1.1932468176558118,2.7165796653992444,2.91291122499587,94.54504546205985,79.34220532319392,5.486460571995371,21.32071416763101,6.046907544983943,0.00031770540585274176,944,26,222,6,23,313,139,263,0.14300000000000002,0.7040000000000001,0.153,0.5706,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,2,3,2,15,19,5,0,7,1,28,1,0,2,2,39,49,24,1,8,4,0,4,5,1,1,1,3,0,2,10,10,0,1,7,1,0,2,8,8,0,1,3,7,45,11,25,42,3,31,0,1,0,0,18,7,0,5,24,153,55,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18651926786052547,0.0,0.0,0.15243664269055926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047797774839429,0.0,0.10530295715491073,0.0861826898646372,0.0,0.06832299759379723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856589999499588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948685149714677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443233055889276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22668429436806636,0.3202802251704887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659281854318898,0.0,0.2342289358505367,0.10751745881223912,0.06369771203648357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024987658993094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996219556611586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460951087826368,0.07916549957215849,0.2737834131362445,0.0,0.0,0.1983747489996254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662119696853837,0.08644309392933648,0.0,0.1191984734395382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594838633541433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069931515520494,0.15540447857603368,0.09786403297104426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734176801870103,0.0,0.0,0.2144910659184313,0.0,0.0,0.12555537913468945,0.0,0.11211044510957112,0.12757170791876013,0.07180139141297122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673918171815211,0.0,0.11343105968620495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496511741973312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933088201452446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259745407612566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16854059533201055,0.0,0.0,0.2063766222422022,0.0,0.0,0.07446104793954014,0.07181641186386467,0.0,0.0,0.19606444851086555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609504070779469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610775550960071,0.08896397810036115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159565832476677,0.0,0.0,0.07961849770381445,0.0,0.0,0.07217591913648218
mentalhealth,JustButterscotch7,2019/04/16,"Nightmares while I'm awake. Am I suffering from delusions? I am 18 male, and I have autism. I used to be nonverbal. I woke up frequently as a small child with hellish nightmares and they would continue while I was awake in some way. I woke up to the house being on fire or underwater many times. Going back to sleep or starting a routine while ignoring the nightmare was the only way to get rid of it. I ran to my brother through flames got burns on them that only I could see and feel. I slept in his bed a lot before I knew how to tell what was actually real.

I sometimes still get nightmares, but now they start while I am awake. There's this ghost that follows me around. I get a sense of doom when it approaches. The left side of my head starts burning. I hear popping and a high pitched whistling out of that ear. I'm very fatigued after it's over. I told a doctor and he said it was probably nothing.",2.5882581967213127,4.45699698907104,3.3788217213114784,91.20954405737707,76.37704918032787,6.542213114754097,26.191598360655732,7.413659706084162,1.1865303278688524,711,27,152,9,16,225,116,183,0.111,0.889,0.0,-0.9496,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,3,0,7,5,1,0,10,0,12,6,4,2,0,21,34,15,1,2,3,1,2,0,0,1,2,3,1,2,9,8,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,12,6,23,0,24,18,2,34,2,3,1,0,12,13,0,4,15,98,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.16053881607923165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644949601414986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12649865547708233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399865794546769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134849254584766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838378127218778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318160671351266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25785031923572865,0.0,0.09349528243127853,0.0,0.13157432022785065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16883554873724918,0.0,0.1854156350962796,0.0,0.0,0.17381469923374393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18982338294423995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874147250789735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986120464087254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678813669955206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785255562370445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25023576281914645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773704737340001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18724931368450912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564874494839039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109381341648865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646296141389306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270539406200665,0.0,0.34932478651143023,0.0,0.13137854249990993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437896959026582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959275741738672,0.0,0.0,0.1571971254728395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14208451675650238,0.0,0.1357386442470662,0.0,0.2611620415483456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686375682235843,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,unsureandboring,2019/04/16,"I'm not doing very well today I don't know what to call what I do to myself. Self harm I guess? Rehearsing to kill myself? I take a belt and wrap it around my neck and pull it super tight until I black out or almost black out.

It started because I thought maybe there would be some - idk, like instinctive life force or something that would block me from killing myself, but it wasn't there. I realized how easy it would be to just choke myself out.

And I kept doing it for a while. I don't know why. I don't get it. It was like a compulsion. And then I stopped for many months and I thought I had put it behind me.

But today I'm just so down. For no reason. I'm at work going through all the motions but I don't feel anything. I'm on autopilot. I've choked myself twice today. 

How is that I feel nothing and everything at the same time.",0.29161016949152696,2.4486736836158234,1.9281666666666688,97.00140254237287,86.17514124293785,4.895932203389831,18.4545197740113,6.2581,-0.2463534463276833,650,17,149,6,20,211,98,177,0.157,0.778,0.065,-0.9322,0,0,1,0,0,2,20.0,0,0,0,2,9,7,2,0,5,0,16,2,1,3,1,40,32,17,2,3,8,0,3,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,13,10,0,4,8,0,0,4,7,3,1,1,6,5,23,4,19,21,3,22,0,0,2,0,2,8,0,5,12,103,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357250494232316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620600775050406,0.13652701941842535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348964368990048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660241553027293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783422380654534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550915113280322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012667961643734,0.0,0.0871606430027797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894841004347122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393504395283341,0.0,0.16857035929566325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832596063094847,0.14985240486366527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554876445306619,0.15407536585389078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241416971341088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14715748099811354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541737941447263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576843634592091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599927373706295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806757064762816,0.0,0.0,0.1085522613811188,0.0,0.0,0.12821968242446685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153111013845788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24350874107104276,0.08942813828961631,0.0,0.4361151577383435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265418661267321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378932040854838,0.0,0.13838770753696775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165126373374837,0.0,0.0,0.3268374592860606,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Toast_On_The_RUN,2019/04/16,"I'm failing out of college and I'm losing it. Hello, I'm 20 and I'm about to ""finish"" my first year in college. As far as all of my family and friends know, I'm doing pretty well in school. Truth is, I'm completely falling apart.
 Throughout the year I've continuously done worse in all of my classes, despite telling my parents I was doing fine because I thought I could fix it. A few months ago I realized it was too late to fix things and that I was going to have to drop out. Since then it's been downhill and I feel like I can't breathe at this point. I can barely eat once a day, I haven't been to class in over a week, I haven't done laundry in who knows, and the only thing I can think about when I'm not drowning out everything with drugs is ""what the fuck am I going to do.""
 I live in a dorm so I don't see my parents often, and I don't call them much because I'm a wreck. When I do call them I put on an act, I say I'm doing good, make up stories about assignments I did, but when I hang up I just want die. I feel like I'm a piece of shit, Everytime I lie to my parents I feel worse but I simply can't bring myself to tell the truth. There's so much weight on me I keep thinking of killing myself, but I dont want that I just want this to end.

I know at some point I need to tell my parents, but I really don't know how I'm going to. The thought of doing it makes my stomach hurt. I've talked to a school counselor about her calling my parents to help explain but I'm too scared to go into the office and do it. I can only think to run away or some other stupid ideas, how would you solve this rationally.",1.9137879767291537,2.6156235042016824,3.7134593837535017,92.89490788623144,75.86274509803924,6.500711053652233,23.81480284421461,6.490185161304077,0.4319610859728504,1249,36,304,9,26,422,166,357,0.13699999999999998,0.779,0.084,-0.9776,5,0,1,0,0,1,35.0,0,1,2,3,18,16,4,1,14,0,32,7,3,4,4,55,71,24,3,6,9,5,4,2,1,1,1,1,1,0,16,13,2,1,15,0,0,10,9,8,1,1,10,6,48,8,46,59,8,48,0,3,1,1,22,22,2,4,17,195,64,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657905321100494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116575136065796,0.0,0.0,0.1053244388332805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646399250975652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905777162560064,0.0,0.0,0.06897496266871761,0.0,0.0,0.055714061690033886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965863130513975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681284433733366,0.10124781610369264,0.0,0.10018435901046444,0.08839799554009836,0.0,0.0,0.07651542916475425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764128571608549,0.0,0.08144030438005284,0.0,0.13104333608821148,0.12343331006213408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348283952812458,0.0,0.0,0.06674429065800726,0.07986567347336973,0.0,0.0,0.1963885078665111,0.07245938918690288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790504110595705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248171498636223,0.09752319690222466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678693079208566,0.0955771495121497,0.0,0.18990957496459254,0.0,0.097451085654637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441106323195947,0.0,0.0762834852348923,0.0,0.0,0.0966477199883356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533128485100058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895525119912183,0.0,0.12701240192619526,0.0640566977848634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200196670142882,0.0,0.13140617044237515,0.0,0.0,0.479626417773779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333194645172314,0.0,0.0,0.08788914913704388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684527884688685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534330697096409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870037441051338,0.08649093079775103,0.17486151264531916,0.06884122315561353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886775500820466,0.07146226277320687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943658406291107,0.2265246151242329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147866511331473,0.16606465344696772,0.0,0.1371671796577658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286424403476098,0.0,0.0692964223524609,0.1051991016858851,0.07767450899374621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607650192365715,0.06136860125238711,0.0,0.0,0.11126397330401036
mentalhealth,137free,2019/04/16,"Scared to talk to doctor about symptoms, will down playing them a bit still do me any good for a medication? General anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts

I don’t want to mention suicidal thoughts and I’m just gonna say that sometimes the anxiety and depression feel overwhelming. 

Will this do me any good vs not saying anything ever?",5.000499999999999,7.993790050000001,5.4200000000000035,74.015,73.5,10.0,36.66666666666667,10.125756701596842,4.814666666666667,273,16,43,9,6,87,45,60,0.308,0.574,0.119,-0.9447,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,2,3,0,5,3,0,0,1,11,11,2,2,1,3,0,1,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,3,4,3,6,6,1,3,0,3,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,26,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503808892551108,0.0,0.2816632886938303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149393244557624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20098330806044504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171203213375499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18842832848080296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652384427632766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308361526837614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3088191482448968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18545565105036024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29279837088931826,0.1843105212422744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820739812723172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701795490318434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4027385939521748,0.0,0.0,0.19134447801679186,0.0,0.1479680341496674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923006394644199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085835945938108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,emmyliketheawards,2019/04/16,"I hate feeling this way, but I don't do anything to help it, because I don't know what to do. I don't really know where to start. I've been feeling really shitty the past couple of months. I have a FANTASTIC boyfriend, great friends, a cute dog and I am still so unhappy. Everyone around me does so much to try and get my back up, and I'm even seeing a therapist through the counseling center at my university, but I still feel like total garbage. I don't really get out of bed for anything other than work and to go see my boyfriend at his place. I just can't find joy in anything. My self-esteem is in the gutter. I have a lot of fun things planned soon, and my 20th birthday is in two days. I really only feel decent when I'm doing something with someone else but as soon as it's over, I'm stuck in my bed again until the next thing comes up. I don't know what to do. I know that I need to get up and clean my room, take a shower, go outside, or whatever, but I just can't. All my life, up until now, I've always been a pretty positive, upbeat bubbly person, and I can still be that way in the right company, but this deep sadness, frustration, and disappointment in myself still lingers. I'm crying all the time, and have the fits where my boyfriend, who does all he can to help me, always just gets yelled at until I fully break down into a mess of sobs while he holds me. We've been together over a year and a half now, and we are told by all of our friends here that we are more in love than anyone they've ever seen. I love him so much, more than anything, and I hate that I'm putting him through this. He tells me every time that he's had his fight with depression and that he loves me no matter what and that if he can make it, I can too, but I still feel like I'm holding him back and that he says these things to calm me down, but that he doesn't really mean it. I'm really struggling right now. I just want to be myself again, the girl that's just always positive, and fully of light. Thanks for hearing me out. I wish you all the best on your journeys.",5.383142428785613,4.302399937931035,6.027466266866566,85.53481259370315,68.01149425287356,9.404297851074464,28.33833083458271,8.456263369488248,1.6405482258870574,1603,41,367,20,23,525,195,435,0.128,0.675,0.198,0.9891,1,0,1,0,1,0,52.0,3,2,0,3,30,24,4,1,18,0,30,4,0,1,7,65,72,35,0,4,14,0,5,2,2,0,1,3,5,2,26,25,0,2,11,0,0,5,9,10,0,2,7,12,51,14,54,63,12,68,0,4,3,3,33,32,1,3,30,249,77,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097644778049921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875724331507205,0.0,0.2766052457588055,0.07480644232405795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12923109512241593,0.0,0.051225227565770935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818657234753051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07238626906388197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929799917834776,0.09230538693774136,0.054193794342507116,0.0,0.07237678021378555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707422700240705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019809072947672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550245217470562,0.07601190378912054,0.07080072293087664,0.08029633436946404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21244593646247986,0.12006519032373456,0.0,0.0,0.07680387604933593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984608379767776,0.0,0.17561335076026288,0.0,0.09551483129844547,0.0,0.0,0.09264575810209882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659287305675118,0.0,0.0,0.09471035674624836,0.0,0.11264997718347998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18472752007497384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059354402964748185,0.08210774196424221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144114130191212,0.2275269280875278,0.0,0.05609212237339243,0.0,0.0,0.09153566209394363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707367204910836,0.0,0.12354661965288664,0.0623087852637029,0.0,0.0,0.0893691603482454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391024779265365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021820952320635,0.0,0.07337364483406351,0.0877957266449909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854909214799341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447553523615675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32299893835475024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435260188039758,0.0,0.06682575007312011,0.0,0.0,0.13392551096842095,0.0,0.08766387438447884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120018034860967,0.06469206572894286,0.0,0.0,0.05947839859643792,0.0,0.3355409758866202,0.0,0.0,0.08784866375144419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318172982750217,0.0,0.07344781570499058,0.07736552706208924,0.0,0.09756781984857722,0.16748170864073772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097999661863375,0.0,0.0,0.08029633436946404,0.0,0.0570523237293861,0.0,0.08208721443742435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956434786387477,0.13340164172659172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663284214596816,0.0,0.0,0.061176416627898876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541139588827209
mentalhealth,atwoodfoundation,2019/04/16,"Mental illness often accompanies substance abuse. If anyone is struggling with opioid addiction/ knows anyone that is struggling, a Virginia non-profit offers free Narcan (OPIOID overdose reversal medication/ supplies/ training). NO STIGMA. We will ship it to you! SAVE A LIFE! (VA only, sorry) It’s no secret that opioid abuse is a growing problem in the United States. An estimated 2.4 million people in the United States abuse prescription painkillers, and almost half a million people suffer from heroin abuse. People abusing opioids also often face the additional burden of mental illness. Left untreated, depression, anxiety, etc. can make recovery even more difficult.

In 2016, there were 1,130 opioid-related overdose deaths­­ in Virginia—a rate of 13.5 deaths per 100,000 persons.

\*\*\*We are located in Northern Virginia. We offer FREE OPIOID overdose reversal medication/ supplies/ training. There is no stigma. It can be mailed to you for FREE. We are willing to ship the supplies to anywhere in VIRGINIA. Send me a private message for more information. Please, pass this message along to anyone you know that may be struggling or anyone that knows someone that may be struggling with opioid addiction. Save a life. Thanks! <3

\*\*\*Instead of sending me a PM, you can also just fill out a quick confidential kit request form below. We will mail out your opioid reversal kit ASAP. There is also instructions on how to pick up the supplies at our office, on the top of the form. Thank you! and feel free to share the request form with your friends or family!

​

[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeeTshqBpUOhd4EEivs783QsEtLfMMulc5BGdkAtsBcgiurQA/viewform](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeeTshqBpUOhd4EEivs783QsEtLfMMulc5BGdkAtsBcgiurQA/viewform) <3

​

Thanks!",9.587779207411222,13.951080634328365,6.946973751930004,61.71619402985076,65.41791044776119,7.1293875450334525,34.241379310344826,8.216663640201805,3.5600466803911477,1502,67,165,23,29,430,149,268,0.197,0.6609999999999999,0.142,-0.9602,0,0,8,0,4,0,99.0,6,7,0,1,13,20,0,4,17,0,19,9,1,3,0,35,27,9,1,2,4,0,1,0,1,5,8,0,0,1,9,14,0,0,6,0,4,5,3,9,0,3,1,1,15,15,31,18,6,23,0,2,0,0,28,15,0,8,1,121,24,1,0.0,0.529829353267293,0.0,0.1949947393250708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895562506899757,0.0,0.0,0.21456345241084435,0.0,0.1938056071639717,0.2173466696737501,0.0,0.0,0.06841754323039198,0.0,0.0,0.2501401734888698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703024911397648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974368506293076,0.0590709852638597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431137453931789,0.0,0.045221031829873685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909727230104314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474534392890003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097171407681947,0.0,0.12634119486611411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969856833906372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18019274122515697,0.18025892364317708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801936054439725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18600893966075494,0.07809120719757875,0.0,0.09817279186285692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855772328308892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577799969842837,0.0,0.0,0.1001151794077836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37398759287801503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470192431118285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173466696737501,0.0
mentalhealth,Faesto,2019/04/16,"A strikingly low self-esteem and a phobia of making mistakes I'm very self-critical, self-loathing and I have a really low self-esteem. Oftentimes, even in things I know I'm good at and that I have proof that I'm good at, I just think that I suck.
I know that I'm good but I just can't wrap my head around it. Everytime, I always notice whatever mistake I make, even if it's minor or even non-existent.
People have told me that, often, I come off as a fake humble person, and that just makes me feel worse.
I've developed such an obsession with improving myself and thriving for perfection that it's unhealthy.
If I can't see an improvement in a short amount of time, even though I'm perfectly aware that it's impossible, I just give up and start criticising myself again.
Furthermore, the obsession with perfection often causes me to hesitate, because I'm too scared to make a mistake or of underperforming. I've lost a great deal of opportunities like this and the thought of that just makes me feel even worse.
Sometimes, just because I know that I'll just keep hesitating, I act without thinking and obviously that has consequences.
I'm so tired of being like this.
Any tips on how to solve my problem?",4.43333333333333,6.095972162393164,5.465470085470088,79.03230769230773,70.96581196581197,9.302564102564103,28.384615384615394,9.725611199111238,2.721292307692309,962,36,183,24,18,317,123,234,0.245,0.594,0.16,-0.963,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,5,21,22,1,3,11,0,7,2,1,7,5,52,35,17,0,6,13,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,18,12,0,1,8,0,0,2,3,12,0,0,3,3,22,10,22,31,1,16,0,3,1,0,4,11,1,6,5,113,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924823400745431,0.0,0.0,0.07558306222642812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989434661841812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13550708773115472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141775145668255,0.0,0.09574240055816532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11458660142989695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670542823101885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239747100541876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662132983772656,0.0,0.27967186674607736,0.0,0.12253881014917364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406781765611294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879163357252488,0.0,0.0,0.18324873401258893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10860060093896176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132894174575727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709539473357517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654040889769858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705461211397714,0.09704836269314868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063516704132302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120294621191932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127649268667876,0.0,0.0885689377413526,0.0,0.4637978934039206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099261936265222,0.0,0.07866968054331967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07384043521981695,0.14243568294282438,0.10920033859136552,0.08823747486156441,0.06481010143241125,0.12774592752521724,0.0,0.10620472512223328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170705480371576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071407364500129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22653445162268135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Naddy234,2019/04/16,"I‘m running a 6-figure business, I’ve got the most perfect fiancé and I’m pregnant, yet I‘m still depressed. I am German so I apologize in advance for any language mistake. 

Short background story: I suffered from depression years ago. It started when I was in school at the age of 17 and got worse when I was in university studying English and French in order to become a teacher. I was somehow forced into studying by my parents, languages were the only thing I was good at and I wanted to make them proud. I procrastinated a lot because I didn‘t really know what I wanted to do in life. I didn‘t like university and as a side job I started teaching students and adults. I never really enjoyed teaching but I enjoyed earning money and so I somehow built up a business. After many years of struggeling with uni I quit my studies and became self-employed as language teacher of English, Spanish and French. That was in 2004. This year also marked the end of my depression. (Side note: I was in therapy for a couple of years until I started being self-employed) 

I worked my butt off, I had more than 30 students in a week, I started at 7am and worked until long after midnight. I finally had a goal - my goal was to earn money and be able to provide for myself. I started teaching in my kitchen until I could afford my own office after 2 years. Long story short: After 5 years, I own a language company with 10 people working for me now. I have a fairly large income and I don‘t have to do anything for it. I‘m not teaching anymore, all I have to do is writing invoices and making sure that new clients turn up from time to time. 

Here‘s the deal: I am NOT happy! When I started working, my dream was to earn as much money as possible. Now I can see that this is not a good motivation for the long run. I‘ve got money and it secures me a nice lifestyle but it‘s not very fulfilling. 

My personal life is perfect: I have a wonderful and stable family, I am happily engaged, my fiancé is the man of my dreams, I am 7 months pregnant. I have always wanted kids and a husband so this a dream coming true.

The problem is, I don‘t have any other dreams. I don‘t have visions when it comes to my business. Yes, there are things I‘d like to establish and I have two pages full of necessary tasks and steps lying on my desk BUT I am not motivated. I should be, there‘s a baby on the way and one day I‘d like to buy some property and a house. But somehow that doesn‘t get me going. It‘s getting worse and worse. I don‘t get up in the mornings, I spend hours watching youtube videos or TV shows. I attend private social events, I love to go out and meet friends, I enjoy planning the wedding and baby stuff but when it comes to work I feel so numb. It crossed my mind that I might want to do something else which is partly true. I don‘t want to give up a business that‘s going well but at the same time I‘d like to start something new. But when it comes to actually starting I keep finding excuses à la „I should rather invest this time into my business“ and I end up doing nothing. I read books about how to get back motivation but nothing helped. I lost my drive!!! I also lost my drive when it comes to other things. I quit doing sports, I‘ve always wanted to learn an instrument but I am too lazy to get it going. There‘s nothing that excites me (apart from the baby and the wedding). I also started to eat a lot of sugar (but that might be a pregnancy thing). 

Whas is wrong with me? Am I depressed? I don‘t feel depressed in my personal life. How can I find out what I really want in life? Is it normal not to like his job? I am thankful for every advice...",2.413185893604304,4.682411829846586,3.79244092448695,86.11632426778246,78.53974895397491,5.826571030085673,26.56084877465631,6.930790545007577,1.3370199402271368,2850,117,538,31,70,935,305,717,0.1,0.747,0.154,0.9904,7,0,2,0,0,0,84.0,0,0,1,22,32,37,0,0,35,1,62,10,1,7,7,102,113,59,0,14,18,2,2,5,1,4,5,0,1,5,34,37,3,2,10,10,7,17,16,12,1,2,18,5,88,25,87,86,13,107,0,8,2,2,21,34,1,11,59,394,122,27,0.057575984613172974,0.0,0.05618585554682694,0.0,0.0,0.056262585804588164,0.05103763642345405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813048228057245,0.09581566302824404,0.0,0.0,0.07830728780319539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05709990560768699,0.0,0.0,0.04738012954481681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044272378214097484,0.0,0.0350977858192219,0.06358815148987516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479830630908063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04596973871311106,0.06370673186174639,0.0,0.03713174693313141,0.059358311983180825,0.24795055590204595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058914606119592275,0.0480973471553264,0.0,0.10199046581928962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048510250268452515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427751416189158,0.0,0.05822429557038453,0.0,0.0,0.06307167685183672,0.10524681371906323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044483062888732376,0.0,0.15040537799626544,0.055232130821519655,0.1308870355790092,0.09658400843888357,0.13814632368433774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06129070624180619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03859196883654205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056700747045071914,0.066434955943934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427056121681164,0.05117618058088248,0.0,0.0,0.031642255401319985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626704826257549,0.1406435890333921,0.0,0.0,0.15285880371625093,0.0,0.0,0.1257019771397946,0.09789808636285137,0.05196457402991053,0.0,0.07686483362828113,0.05837301148963541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221580420343497,0.0581353313910719,0.0,0.045956601611300336,0.0,0.04232497346837921,0.0,0.044406148780541416,0.11121448943614304,0.0,0.0,0.05641224038188016,0.1657371302076947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03901497725207965,0.0437891307715501,0.0,0.0,0.06393131725453093,0.06234918059732481,0.0,0.03991593823822996,0.10054625790993732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649082717006979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509244146823822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247829360828248,0.057591565492299025,0.0,0.11065395018163122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582699702636471,0.04588060534884174,0.0,0.120128617614402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869146559841569,0.0,0.08864961172665077,0.0,0.0,0.3667732042605328,0.0,0.04598025568601124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591072744845201,0.0,0.0,0.054264684114126174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300823105431835,0.06584315620197773,0.0,0.15300370326222668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429207856697742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262613789894926,0.05624337084929648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047506217150771794,0.2377186522702084,0.04570113664444806,0.046183981926832735,0.0,0.05176772476502008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243869928591664,0.20958001262528556,0.0,0.17602454152440078,0.0,0.06295030074501852,0.0,0.22246227832846532
mentalhealth,r3b3cc4285,2019/04/16,"I'm scared of authorative figures I'm currently in college and I'm constantly scared I'm going to be told off, I've been putting off doing my work experience and getting a job because I'm scared of letting people down and getting in the way and I cant deal with feeling like I've messed up and that's just making it worse because people are disappointed in me because I haven't done work experience and I'm letting my mum down because I haven't got a job. Does anyone else have this issue? Is there a reason I feel like this? I just don't understand and it's wrecking my life.",3.5271666666666697,4.81357138333334,5.245000000000001,81.20666666666669,72.66666666666666,7.666666666666668,30.0,8.167268648758528,2.1105,466,20,93,7,9,159,67,120,0.168,0.787,0.044,-0.919,3,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,3,7,0,3,4,0,13,1,0,2,0,16,28,7,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,4,2,9,2,12,21,0,13,0,1,0,0,3,8,0,0,4,53,14,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783515717113728,0.14336434033017964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411751748223301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120356502812118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425114003152453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12244473449380693,0.14318650482703066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11688501454714118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737367690495388,0.0,0.0,0.14149528065993933,0.1999174247014396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620461073071794,0.0,0.07951963030455028,0.0,0.11190662277298948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603988861313189,0.277697565460383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28615489137835537,0.09882947216765683,0.13671546496767384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339753362894446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940055033210547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065801594244187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438608281800394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4202522998794933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369933730855585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14566141613367942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106180148057583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20372651943057285,0.0,0.14259020031665762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Thing3218,2019/04/16,"I've [M19] had to leave dinner early last night because i was feeling ill... Realised today that I was having a panic attack. A bit of background... I'm a 2nd year uni student in a pretty stressful, medical related course. I made it through the first year with no trouble and actually had one of the best years of my life. I had some minor mental health problems (self-diagnosed, so probably not that bad) in my early teens but since then I have no trouble and consider myself to be a pretty relaxed and stress free person.

Unfortunately in the past month I have had difficulty with my work situation and my mentor at uni is causing me problems. My gf of a year and a half has also broken up with me recently which hasn't been nice but despite those two situations giving me the most stress i have been under for a long time, i can look at them rationally and I know I'll be able to sort them out in the near future. 

The problem is that last night whilst out to dinner with some friends I started to become faint, dizzy and started to shake. I just put this down to the cold I've had recently and excused myself to go home. Since then i have had that feeling a couple more times to the point where it felt like i was having a heart attack and I was genuinely concerned about my health. I suddenly realised that my body was having these symptoms in reaction to my recent mental state and i was in fact having a panic attack. 

The reason this has shocked me is not because I thought I was mentally stable enough to never have one, because I know it can happen to even the happiness, well adjust person. It surprised me because Im still thinking logically about my stress and I know why i am anxious so i can sort it out. My body just doesn't seem to be following suit with my mind. 

Im mainly here just to process this and write it somewhere. If anyone does actually read this and has any suggestions or comments then I'm all ears. This is also my first time properly posting so sorry if its a bit messy.",5.674938818565401,5.9655489443038014,6.392800632911393,78.54346255274262,67.15189873417722,8.912447257383965,31.1418776371308,8.72156446121922,2.416175105485232,1583,58,301,23,24,521,195,395,0.182,0.7170000000000001,0.102,-0.9844,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,2,4,15,26,3,7,22,0,40,13,4,3,3,58,59,26,0,5,10,0,3,1,2,0,7,1,1,2,20,21,2,0,12,2,1,4,7,17,1,6,18,6,43,10,42,38,10,55,0,0,1,0,11,17,0,9,33,220,63,4,0.0745051196016451,0.0,0.1454124984769896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916343445495454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05066603621853366,0.0,0.0,0.08416957811070871,0.0,0.052095711955786564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25428098836549234,0.0,0.0,0.06220866278644885,0.18167051751057786,0.08228505103005633,0.0,0.0,0.07818852642133094,0.0,0.1626805878964001,0.16551678380103838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653728121063344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243849772919712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562112807522291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519993224454057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769837050223654,0.0,0.0492099288223685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753440541979117,0.0,0.07153659878056777,0.0,0.0,0.12674803334440268,0.0,0.0,0.0575624705862909,0.0,0.0,0.07147209970195682,0.04234297644076991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06588463120679867,0.07931208523302075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839091624017376,0.0,0.08828892545611396,0.0,0.0,0.07473470973658608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609566286249812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283819576756827,0.12146323308237655,0.0,0.0788901639681243,0.0,0.0,0.05262516935279767,0.03639943803840762,0.0,0.0,0.06593468630807113,0.0625655358715178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049854562550405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505606966253311,0.2252509103019294,0.0,0.07522893177552531,0.0,0.05946927564572992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057462941331718476,0.0,0.0,0.13983601526185285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10097319449945104,0.0,0.0,0.17483140965546454,0.0,0.0,0.07112356708977724,0.0,0.13010999327945144,0.0,0.0,0.070431420206434,0.0,0.07135530946108627,0.15159698341773548,0.0803291203075118,0.2138740119677572,0.0,0.07489822365176976,0.0,0.0,0.0745252817451253,0.0,0.0,0.07660367176063806,0.2206944517260692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782666266874111,0.0777250887073286,0.0,0.0,0.12326280969828578,0.16749375214878032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340238157005771,0.10547021425958096,0.0,0.05949988475606024,0.0,0.3413814511086469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774393467668963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773987225585951,0.0,0.05914874266108771,0.13033360318205914,0.0,0.07062214172738647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727806758335102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06698905022703547,0.0,0.06722928191045016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05424061442168941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19191541710864204
mentalhealth,throwawayclsnp,2019/04/16,"Should I tell my friend I need time away from him so I can work on my own mental health? I need help making a decision. For the sake of my own mental health I need to take a break from a friend. The short version of my problem is that I’m way too dependent on him for my happiness. What I need help with is whether or not I should tell him? Or should I just stop trying to contact him for a while and keep the reasons to myself? I obviously care about him and don’t want to hurt him, but I also feel like temporarily ghosting him with no explanation is a kind of shitty thing to do too.",3.678629032258062,3.96043525,4.824354838709677,88.08153225806456,71.5,8.135483870967743,25.177419354838708,8.07648339933343,1.112729032258064,457,12,106,6,8,151,70,124,0.11,0.752,0.138,-0.1604,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,8,0,9,2,0,3,1,27,20,9,1,9,6,0,1,1,2,3,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,23,6,19,17,3,9,0,1,0,0,14,4,0,3,4,78,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843004708427205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508869718747788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637402170489848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120310120648269,0.11473114011474295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24815500968055515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095940356903894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34141602117277203,0.0,0.0,0.21529071467445174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17192332596137788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274675306451934,0.0,0.16723795312187487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846000012496895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072003156618962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236897308101391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4763250999357244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367045857513414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512134307048434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426699836015013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207496007458211,0.0,0.2807392088264665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669407915764316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364590108196967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903540201816377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472477616756757,0.12747510254389502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11691715157287963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ThatOneHellFox,2019/04/16,"The pieces have started to fall into place. Obligatory background: I've suffered from depression and anxiety for the past 4/5 years. I haven't officially been diagnosed, so it could be any number of things like depression, but it sure feels like depression. The point is, It has been so long since I've actually felt content and happy with my life, and actually wanted to make an effort to get better. 

Yesterday I was in my truck on my way home, and I actually had a decent day. Then I started thinking ""maybe I do deserve to be loved"", ""maybe i do deserve to live"", ""maybe I'm not a waste of space"". And a number of other ideas. In those few 20 minutes I felt happy. Not necessarily happy with my life, but happy. I think I'm finally going to make an effort to get better. I have absolutely no idea what sparked these ideas, or what direction I need to head in. But I know that I have to get my shit together ASAP. 

Thank you for reading.",4.448461538461538,5.616771366120221,5.891256830601094,77.89774274905425,70.31147540983606,9.128036990332072,28.83102143757881,9.466822959209583,2.564563177805801,732,27,141,16,13,248,105,183,0.102,0.684,0.214,0.976,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,0,4,2,16,1,0,8,0,15,6,2,2,1,29,35,12,0,3,6,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,10,8,0,0,9,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,6,3,18,11,22,26,2,20,0,4,0,1,2,8,1,1,11,90,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.3060576490696041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109305410531197,0.0,0.07997536665902645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849201719086483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834693478275441,0.0,0.0,0.06742180371196929,0.0,0.2701290689135632,0.10610928643733047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052860252364149866,0.07468578084315562,0.20075599621335788,0.11452211564802553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16385873614969568,0.0,0.059414387620526726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44515330485740096,0.0,0.0,0.1072916245177664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486549095593857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3540501072504837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05745428397197911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476841012769452,0.10214918754275333,0.0,0.09231368189571117,0.09251756346003208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435444328892127,0.0,0.13956697848263894,0.0,0.3150835007949261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751755972335699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997984444938025,0.0,0.0,0.10922553625232008,0.0,0.09882724485990764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457162791396174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731223310469136,0.08647932868929904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799262402359373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09853085790504963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962494588713812,0.0,0.0,0.06945394777094242,0.13397429815221995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061662368788391715,0.08298163482059512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732248144150893
mentalhealth,omglol928797,2019/04/16,"How do I avoid self-flagellation? I have a really bad habit of mentally cringing at everything I do in life. I will over analyze every action I take and replay it in my head and nit pick over how stupid I sounded or how I did something embarrassing. My mind will mentally replay embarrassing moments from my distant past.

It's so bad that it isn't even limited to myself. My mind will replay moments of cringeworthy things that OTHER people have done. If someone does something that I think is cringeworthy or embarrassing I will feel physically embarrassed for them in that moment.

The result of this type of thinking is depression and anxiety and low self esteem.

What are the best strategies to curb and avoid these thoughts?",6.955606060606063,8.46303365151515,7.1148484848484825,70.1756060606061,64.75757575757575,10.715151515151517,34.36363636363636,10.746095033038511,4.124009090909091,590,26,95,16,9,190,82,132,0.232,0.727,0.041,-0.9768,0,2,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,5,12,1,6,3,0,14,2,1,5,0,23,19,12,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,12,5,0,4,4,0,0,1,1,11,0,0,3,2,15,1,14,12,1,12,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,3,4,72,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13639904361074426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977461738736513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18711489316759128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356956435665295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15603156773578866,0.18246284676210126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776549572969322,0.0,0.15022547486244592,0.0,0.16024458032017946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015385822778037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18298728199722086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593859217033085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593690101446026,0.0,0.3600644282880148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020756454710462,0.12361079860925332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142235721278848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720116578625191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15107304643773706,0.2745281655796413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405944138782191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184546248013719,0.2284949341250816,0.0,0.1415503165309351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Blahbluhblahblah1000,2019/04/16,"I can't talk to my mom about my life I'm in my twenties, have a bachelors degree, and haven't been gainfully employed since 2017. I moved out of my emotionally abusive dad's house last summer. I have a physical disability (dysautonomia-POTS specifically) ad well as multiple psychological diagnoses including depression, generalized anxiety, OCD, and ADHD. I likely have C-PTSD, and my last psychiatrist even proposed that I \*might\* have really ""high-functioning"" or mild ASD.

​

In short: I feel pretty screwed up.

​

I've applied for disability, but I know I can't tell my mom. She told me I shouldn't have sought accommodations as an undergrad, and says that she went through nursing school just fine without any. I \*know\* she has had issues in her life-- I've inherited a lot of mine from her. But her insistence against seeking help and her assertion that I just need to ""scrape myself off the floor every day"" makes me feel weak, like somehow I'm just making excuses. She told me I need to ""get off the psych meds"" even though I deal with a lot of pain, depression, and even suicidal ideation not uncommonly. I'm often tempted to remind her that she's been in drug rehab twice. I don't think she's a perfect model for how I should live my life. I'm really not sure I could even hold up a part-time job right now, but she presses me about getting a job and going to grad school. I \*want\* those things, but I don't think I can handle those right now. If I was honest with her though she'd most assuredly be frustrated and give me an emotional lashing. Call me weak, but I know how those tie me up in knots. Don't know that I can handle that, either.

​

I constantly struggle with the idea that I'm not \*REALLY\* disabled, or not enough to warrant seeking the help I have. My housemate assures me that just by living with me he knows I'm barely functional on a daily basis, but I still can't seem to shake it. The expectations she has of me are really weighing on me. Even when I was just employed part-time I was so tired, and every day my conditions give me issues. There are no asymptomatic days. I underperformed in college because of my issues. It's really hard to keep up with anything, even basic hygiene. 

​

It just really hurts. I can hardly stand to talk with my mom at all. She gets so toxic I have to distance myself from her and I hate it.",4.565059006211179,6.195984145652176,5.388757763975158,79.8367391304348,70.58695652173913,8.822360248447207,29.22981366459627,9.312151188531436,2.595833540372671,1897,74,357,41,35,618,226,460,0.14300000000000002,0.79,0.067,-0.9907,4,0,1,0,0,0,94.0,0,0,0,2,28,20,3,2,15,0,33,13,0,4,5,74,65,28,1,8,21,4,5,2,0,3,11,1,0,0,16,17,1,2,11,0,1,4,14,11,1,1,9,6,74,9,49,50,6,36,0,3,0,1,35,20,1,10,13,243,90,10,0.0,0.07709750396021746,0.0,0.0,0.07820169205050727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820139819301144,0.3162694860633432,0.04424994285503205,0.0,0.0497784973371644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354720061538404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03966616800065827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644391270050112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031773065935701,0.0,0.05195323112781628,0.0,0.0,0.1258946179334943,0.06708448183847675,0.11208967376945723,0.06604484671997335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546073180295282,0.0,0.0,0.14639035253790025,0.0,0.06723487373899213,0.0,0.2578693776909421,0.0,0.10964883920675053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580286009238795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019894250172612,0.12484246108772365,0.03698087373037179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658017168042753,0.06424331540915262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723031858654055,0.0687502008410986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075082232741451,0.06965895635000331,0.07345629476190645,0.0,0.20374903629641566,0.12914419451135747,0.057837351535764574,0.0,0.0,0.17880430194845853,0.10608173687991244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788294350994773,0.06357999059597373,0.0,0.11491629386386455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11064065296350097,0.0,0.0,0.08686967946485806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227828315949336,0.0,0.0,0.06902916102633813,0.0,0.2286281688260831,0.0,0.0691592864724572,0.0,0.09649740417506657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923924225869191,0.0,0.0,0.14092929309075702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619974991033728,0.0,0.0,0.07606353955225534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501136795607901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113912899721952,0.0,0.05174640611926954,0.0,0.1317089597489845,0.0,0.05923743341977567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05382671205789555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051965117006203744,0.0,0.0,0.06802546363554997,0.0,0.07117619807533265,0.0,0.061327859474108,0.0,0.0,0.10460186598064117,0.05687419139904989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043229725584274035,0.083388667316176,0.12786221145531987,0.0,0.0,0.07478858128319399,0.0,0.12435466040035564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038380068623164856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058505892027426135,0.060320693916307636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06272531603914573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162694860633432,0.0
mentalhealth,Chickenbones369,2019/04/16,Been having debilitating panic attacks that last for upwards of a week and are so bad I can't work and have been hospitalized. My psychiatrist can't find any effective treatments. I got a lot of blood work and other than my norepinefrin being in the 700 range couldn't find anything physically wrong with me. He says a neurologist won't be able to help but I want to go any way. Can I just make an apointment my self? Would it do me any good?,3.7492370129870096,5.431882852272729,5.001493506493507,81.59545454545456,72.75,8.21038961038961,26.20779220779221,8.841846274778883,1.8593292207792207,353,12,72,7,7,117,67,88,0.127,0.7909999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.4372,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,2,5,1,1,5,0,14,1,1,2,0,14,18,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,2,9,1,8,10,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,46,12,2,0.20558999463121935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194247389916344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691830481786797,0.0,0.0,0.2338882988282969,0.0,0.0,0.17165905801725548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3758110610322868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684153177220748,0.17243913334543867,0.16442909971001826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378026397502127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675832853555003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478526146768128,0.0,0.0,0.1372329178488105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24121556186081086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349341550890928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144752019121368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126230548658093,0.1631877683117039,0.16491189269585665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29934392931309217,0.0,0.0,0.1460452335209059,0.22478038507119125,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RedheadWaifu,2019/04/16,"Feeling the onset of what I believe to be another manic episode... not sure what to do. Undiagnosed. I'm worried because in the past when I've had these episodes I've done horribly rash and idiotic things, such as abusing drugs to the extreme and skipping school for days on end. I'm not even sure how far I am into this current episode. Maybe even days? I can never realize until looking back or when people bring up how crazy I've been acting.

I've been getting in trouble for doing stupid shit lately and I fear that I will screw my normal self over. I haven't been diagnosed with Bipolar or the like (yet) so I'm not taking any medications to help. I don't want to be hospitalized but if this is anything like the previous few episodes I'm going to have random breaks from reality and severe dissociation soon. I'm currently skipping class and while I'm honestly indifferent right now I'm definitely going to regret this when I'm normal. What do I even do? Like, my parents are only aware that I have episodes of depression because I keep this stuff hidden away as best I can. I have an appointment with a therapist next week for the first time but I fear that will be too late, I'll be normal and the stupidity I've engaged in will have caught up to me. 

Not even sure how to bring this up to my parents as they're already texting me about the crap I did yesterday and don't seem happy right now.",5.6496457938013895,5.9579402939068125,6.4593337550073775,77.98351043643268,67.2078853046595,9.432089394897744,32.540796963946875,9.325443323948027,2.7930255534471846,1118,45,218,20,17,370,150,279,0.193,0.713,0.094,-0.9713,5,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,19,21,6,2,10,0,29,8,3,3,4,36,49,24,0,6,9,2,1,3,0,3,4,0,0,1,14,10,0,1,3,0,0,6,8,11,0,1,7,2,19,10,33,35,2,44,0,2,1,1,4,13,3,5,27,144,33,2,0.0,0.12988698233456428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097324602716715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454834788014343,0.11495073663794443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021153660155587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029957278543278,0.08429439315739258,0.0,0.13365202756861927,0.0,0.0,0.12350915343958505,0.11504403941828345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139733173880015,0.0,0.0944193309052719,0.11126645349806197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121838170116708,0.0,0.0,0.12712949492763034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709467585524044,0.0,0.0,0.289623516407236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467158438711197,0.05542938803047399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09324645450975848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057274221883866765,0.0,0.12460414011359143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669720709053595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734789212834618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743919934269488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24732218525506955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067082637913152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205688231342933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013243944459424,0.0,0.0,0.11043504503855447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454909166638573,0.0,0.11658678789969265,0.0,0.3222258953411285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833742923731654,0.0,0.0,0.2434498352748265,0.0,0.1046488894259683,0.07599975259581042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872372689547704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109457404551488,0.0,0.0997979321368114,0.11436215232975715,0.12384436317176772,0.1125278662727451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549370503571491,0.0,0.0,0.3099590852217638,0.0,0.08242390222567758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272823720643228,0.07282957702742243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392286638581594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465930852740304,0.0,0.08793407734474726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132889456579646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MikuFan80,2019/04/16,"Is it Weird to Assume I Won't Live Past 40? Hi all,
For some very quick background I had some very severe depression in high school, but have since came a pretty long way. I am functional again, at least, and have a good web of friends who are there for me and I am getting my life in order, and currently am in college. My depression comes back in spurts, sometimes worse than others but its mostly managed.

However I have a persistent sensation that my life is already past its halfway point. And most of my thoughts of the future really dont go much further than 40. Granted I'm not doing anything wreckless that WOULD destroy a future for me past 40, but idk... I feel as if one day all of the depressive episodes will culminate down the road and that will be that. I have no immediate or current thoughts of suicide but they do occur from time to time, maybe once a month or every two months, but nothing nearly as serious as when I was in high school... But i still have this mindset that I know it will eventually be what takes me out. 

It's weird, though... Its almost a benefit in that it motivates me to experience things ""before its too late"", but it also is terrifying that my life is already at the halfway point, if not already past it... But additionally its almost comforting to know if I do go out that way, that it will be on my terms... I'm sure this isnt healthy, but is this a weird mindset to have? Especially since im typically content now... not sure, myself.",4.634999999999998,5.671037370242217,5.438579584775088,81.80769636678201,69.76124567474048,8.686574394463667,30.36695501730104,8.982922981607832,2.409102283737025,1156,46,230,21,20,377,152,289,0.14300000000000002,0.767,0.091,-0.9538,3,0,0,0,0,1,45.0,0,0,1,2,10,14,1,0,11,0,31,3,0,1,4,45,44,25,1,4,17,0,1,0,1,6,3,0,0,0,28,10,0,0,7,0,0,4,7,8,0,2,5,1,23,6,32,30,9,48,0,3,0,0,4,19,0,12,22,168,51,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19892812027032364,0.0,0.328837435385113,0.07943369658353712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173964440463688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637818821801434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452201545748744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360638809328485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556349503536806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405925478878642,0.0,0.256656836493379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641333357956972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836893154370243,0.0,0.0,0.0971632268277522,0.0,0.0,0.050223936293082035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674165895039961,0.0,0.0518955192063406,0.0,0.11290239018115618,0.08331279991015182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20989395915812853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729281226061736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917769662145388,0.0,0.11204790560999296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21047790813418848,0.0,0.0,0.08770969246553277,0.08790340578016563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978974726233716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856758138240232,0.0,0.07301854836569302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530925177545577,0.0,0.0,0.10578258427442053,0.06730818167188525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792846605329316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779680489119607,0.0,0.0,0.10105372372710453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363296615908336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105334006374947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221396495982544,0.0,0.1643326356007157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823933040936986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932459842377099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865025722895047,0.0,0.18723359458200786,0.0,0.07468335771872048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659900490849077,0.0,0.09759064504807798,0.15771291921313732,0.11583956031653705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097030404465041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16391433853047993,0.0,0.15768613104661988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122515893562506,0.07056076588940059,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Milad04,2019/04/16,"Is it normal to believe that life isn’t real and everyone is just a figment of your imagination? I researched it, and I may have something called solipsism? I am honestly not sure but lately I’ve been having a scary feeling that everyone around me is fake, or at least not human, and that I’m the only one who is conscious...Sorry if this may be confusing (or in the wrong sub), but I’m scared to death. Help?",3.7838211382113833,4.9800330731707385,5.137560975609755,82.5706504065041,71.92682926829268,7.90569105691057,28.300813008130078,8.344100000000001,1.975676422764228,320,12,63,5,6,107,59,82,0.274,0.649,0.076,-0.9677,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,2,4,0,12,1,0,0,1,20,15,8,1,2,8,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,1,5,2,6,11,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,6,1,47,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130571884132284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26964643085006257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443858402075183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4573860408047932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101399961365247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16041992285608153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26997814601931064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16904803680990035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23449560939816555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217829330034247,0.18202359693179007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724134489481176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396141714317601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425030262961256,0.0,0.2679137956814753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255686014950088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616731587874037,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nekofluffy,2019/04/16,"Do I have mental illness? I feel I’m weird person Hello. So..I have never been to psychiatrist and my family wouldn’t allow me to go.
some people asked me if i am ADHD or something. I read it a little but it’s not like i can’t focus on stuff.
When i focus on stuff, i focus too much and i don’t hear what other people talk. i can’t do a few things together. i always have trouble conversations with people. because i don’t know what answer would make people comfortable or simply i don’t know what to keep talking. i think and feel other people’s feeling a lot especially those people who tries to hide what they actually want to say. i do same mistakes. i can’t remember at the same time if it’s more than a few things. 
i don’t know what made them to think i have something. i surely am a weird like this. as a result i don’t have irl friends. that can truly trust and keep talking. i honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me or what to do...",0.4953545454545463,2.6412453900000017,3.000454545454545,89.7427272727273,85.1,5.4363636363636365,18.090909090909093,6.7829847944221076,0.09975000000000024,738,18,158,9,22,255,99,200,0.122,0.725,0.152,0.8325,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,0,2,12,0,0,7,0,24,1,0,4,2,40,42,12,0,6,7,0,3,2,1,2,1,2,0,1,20,6,0,2,11,1,0,1,12,5,0,0,2,5,26,7,14,38,8,8,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,7,5,113,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.12063799219142528,0.0,0.1485705478057701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286404910737652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557060351135265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535929408544402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165405468316668,0.0,0.18752216316748688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955106466065842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025766993518281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393318481174898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197631988769149,0.0,0.0,0.2717593688213654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079168346164007,0.123902493917147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050996595429089,0.0,0.1169748554732689,0.08251915992731962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458267729265213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087696127586993,0.0,0.09534550248813932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5142267852253729,0.10794263572712537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365622558441748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004050129810902,0.0,0.0,0.09830978975690667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19034169833614906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830369937725923,0.0,0.0,0.11651299912972166,0.0,0.0,0.29808990296934623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642589525403254,0.15842496062560604,0.0,0.0,0.07208543221358946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393174704125021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291591359025669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781806996781592,0.13516209401485738,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DisGruForEmp,2019/04/16,"I Need Some Advice My partner whom I have known for awhile has been consistently displaying behaviors associated with Schizophrenia. Now the only reason I am thinking this is because of the research I have done on my own, a person I have spoken to who is in University majoring in psychology, and also the fact that he has a history of mental illness within his nuclear family. I'll try to detail what he thinks and what he talks about and behaviors he exhibits in the most fact-based manner possible. For each example I will provide a written part, so you get a better idea of what I am talking about. This post will be lengthy and incredibly personal for me, so please only read on and comment if you have real advice or information that I can use.   
Behaviors: 
Constant pacing(walking), addictive behavior with many different substances, talking to themselves, inability to maintain a conversation, repetitive speech 
Pacing is self explanatory, but he will also talk to himself about things that I will get into more detail about later on. In terms of the addictive behaviors, he smokes frequently, and smokes a lot of marijuana when he can get his hands on it. He drinks to get drunk almost every night, when he can afford it. He eats to the point where he is unable to move and complains about the pain in his stomach. His inability to maintain a conversation is a bit trickier to explain. When he is under the influence of alcohol or marijuana, he is able to maintain short conversations, can ask relevant questions and responds quickly, and is emotionally invested.  When he is not under the influence, he does not respond to his name, physical touch, or any attempt to get his attention. In order to get his attention, I must pull his arm, touch his neck or say his name several times, and even then he doesn't engage, just focuses a little bit more on me. When I want him to answer me, I say his name, give him a couple seconds to let him look at me and not stare into the distance, then ask, and then give him several seconds to respond. Sometimes even with all these steps, he still is not able to responds, or just says, ""What?"". I can sometimes just look at him, and then he can recall my question, so I know he is able to listen and that that part of his brain is functioning, just not very well. He usually has a far away look on his face if he's not looking at me, even if he is staring deep into my eyes, he is not thinking about me, and I have gotten this information from him by asking him. He uses the same phrases again and again to describe may different things. Things like Fraud, Placing remotes, Engineers, 25,000 Hours, 3,000 meetings, At times, Repeats ""over and over"" many times to emphasize a point.  
Lying: 
Involvement in movies, music videos, music, tv shows, photography, art, porn 
He literally believes that he has been involved in most movies, more specifically he worked as a cameraman. The same goes for music videos and porn and tv shows. Any music or band or group we listen to, he has worked with them and influenced their sound in some way. Any photography, especially pornography and war photography, he has taken the photo. He also claims to have several pieces of his own art that he made in a prestigious art gallery in my city. I can literally count on my two hands the times that he HASN'T claimed to have involvement in something I am looking at, reading about, or watching. He also claims to have several properties in many parts of the world, and even claims to have been owner of several buildings in my City, all of which are in fact places I used to live. He has been to the majority of countries in the world and has been to outer space even and worked with Elon Musk on his Space X projects. He wholeheartedly believes that he knows all of these actors, writers, and anyone he sees in a photo.  This is the only behavior I can't explain myself or find an explanation for.  
 This next part is a little more complex, but I will do my best to explain.  
- ""Engineers"" control a lot of his movements (ie; losing and erection, craving something, having a muscle spasm or itch on his body) 
-Describes these engineers as ""they"" or ""monkeys"" ""pieces of shit"" When I have asked his to go more into detail about who ""they"" are, he just says it can be anyone in the world listening in on his life through microphones 
-Engineers ""place remotes on his head"" place ""pieces of his identity onto others"", uses the repetitive speech I described earlier when talking about anything 
-These engineers also speak to him, and when he is talking to himself, he is actually insulting the engineers and telling them to stop 
 -He has missed thousands of ""meetings"", (ie; job interviews, dates). He has been “messed with” for 20,000-25,000 hours. This number has changed over the last month or so, as in it has increased, so he has some concept of time regarding his situation 
-He believes that his mind has been erased because he doesn’t remember certain things, whether that’s true or not I don’t know, but he receives “memory guidances or guidancing” if we watch something which will cause him to remember his involvement in projects. This goes back to his constant lying 
-He describes most behavior by other people as fraudulent or that genocide is being committed. This part I don’t really know how to describe more clearly, because he doesn’t really go into detail, just talks about his feelings about it 
-Has accused me several types of being “led to fraud” and honestly, I hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary  
-He will go off on tangents about this that, if I didn’t interject, would last for 30 minutes, all the while he isn’t saying anything that makes actual sense 
-He talks about “calendar years being erased”, and that some events, even something as sensational as the fire at the Cathedral in Paris is a repeat event 
-He claims to have met me several times in my life, which I assure you that this is not true. He will interject himself into my memories that I speak to him about, claiming that that was in fact himself.  
 
I think this covers the majority of what I wanted to speak about and get some feedback on. If anyone has any questions or wants more clarity, please don’t hesitate to ask.  
Just one more note, this is not a personal attack on this person, I am legitimately concerned, and anyone who wants to judge my involvement with him, please do not contact me.",10.223293944353523,8.300766057872345,9.501478723404258,67.18790384615387,59.059574468085096,12.885270049099836,41.23445171849427,11.550464897139252,4.74625139116203,5078,219,875,113,52,1621,438,1175,0.073,0.879,0.048,-0.9862,4,0,8,0,0,0,172.0,2,3,5,8,55,19,4,0,48,0,104,24,12,14,14,173,158,88,2,13,44,0,6,1,1,11,8,14,0,6,59,49,4,2,27,15,1,10,22,9,1,5,17,31,103,10,163,124,43,138,0,2,11,2,176,78,1,37,48,632,162,12,0.1301346042461957,0.0,0.08466173440129494,0.0945772848115898,0.0,0.08477735276538141,0.0,0.04635810515961987,0.04343700274930939,0.0,0.0,0.1734476599989086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799465785752007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132418809226628,0.0,0.10708969110773192,0.0,0.20276381348319064,0.049348966390498405,0.040755248152839006,0.03335515931186415,0.0,0.07932884688275367,0.0,0.0,0.1466171355581866,0.045522746163108176,0.03836449405977275,0.09471552217989697,0.04818340285700238,0.0,0.04842441881211981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456136192912774,0.04588838535324461,0.0,0.0,0.09375285068333757,0.048652341410703036,0.0,0.04799715479956132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064197579910754,0.0,0.0,0.037960556379156137,0.08878192127560579,0.0,0.042494123133335705,0.0,0.04438672942780801,0.0,0.048794638046032485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719053575518583,0.0,0.036548005578959375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040893107733376,0.0,0.021933322004744186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03964689023129552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864323909215122,0.08322464692438328,0.07395849454624473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04451854926361025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543758104179988,0.0,0.0,0.04896870938516163,0.0,0.0,0.0430461715385011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953581002397242,0.0707180475299377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435714991030821,0.06127861301103695,0.02119239809397611,0.08695270736126487,0.03830374657528784,0.0,0.1821338205486967,0.04852911166962905,0.0,0.07375719124841937,0.0,0.04104550302028179,0.028955286282032814,0.13193606327184454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04371502436486356,0.0,0.04379961769435183,0.0,0.0346240665175896,0.046104163183454866,0.0,0.03216438670632369,0.0,0.0,0.046133209320241966,0.0407075035083996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0293941919157505,0.09897323061908717,0.04615746469658565,0.0,0.0,0.23487182479003785,0.0,0.03007298303651412,0.15150468920279614,0.1812839515982151,0.14284871677410274,0.08201284282267783,0.04890240440133261,0.04154432611356751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578053945903147,0.0,0.08677988034551093,0.049373889907593206,0.05557837317806608,0.0446000156842734,0.0,0.0,0.09827809225730312,0.0,0.0,0.17248043419521467,0.0,0.0,0.034566810333402816,0.0,0.04525292451046243,0.3430351433968275,0.044527100391402334,0.0,0.04875891586630116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335786348670005,0.08580430075513465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034641887684244366,0.0362661187305557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789260412850534,0.03791446000868028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152741981227402,0.11117999972792987,0.0,0.0,0.15176506850144453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02945095134113176,0.0,0.042374199683656716,0.0,0.0,0.1498593538180641,0.04777496043292642,0.035791559100464936,0.10234234834098743,0.034431597194465584,0.0,0.0,0.039002212585005136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473954178688668,0.0,0.0,0.03081462970409923,0.0,0.0,0.02793413950131785
mentalhealth,jana67,2019/04/16,"Human Wetware & The 5G Computer Weapon  Hillary Clinton and her Rose Law Firm cohorts aided this effort through  their extensive patent infringement litigation on behalf of Big Tech,  whose Crown and military sponsors already knew that patents and  innovation would play a big role in the full spectrum dominance which  they sought through this new computer weapon.",32.25864406779661,13.894239610169492,24.820000000000004,22.200847457627134,42.728813559322035,29.023728813559323,89.50847457627121,19.287186520377343,13.298105084745755,303,18,41,8,1,87,51,59,0.141,0.7559999999999999,0.103,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,2,0,3,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,3,1,5,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,21,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5639376279330545,0.0,0.0,0.5537040466982012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4935588600425856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630231840320112,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bringitonlife,2019/04/16,"I made myself ugly Hello I am a 19 y/o male and a freshman in college. At the beginning of the year, I shaved my left eyebrow a little bit to make it look good. Then I started to rub my eyebrow back and forth, when I'm stressed or bored. A few months later, half of my left eyebrow is gone and little hairs are growing a little. My right eyebrow is starting to disappear, too. I feel awful about this. I don't know what to do to make them grow and stop. I used to have thick eyebrows but now they're almost gone. I'm upset at myself.

​

I'm not sure on what to do to make it grow back and be thick again. I'm afraid that I damaged my eyebrows permanently. :(",1.2806868131868114,3.0812576071428595,3.022857142857145,92.57137362637363,80.07142857142857,5.164835164835165,22.91208791208791,5.873414542411696,0.2758296703296708,515,17,113,3,13,171,85,140,0.174,0.8029999999999999,0.023,-0.9547,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,0,7,7,0,3,7,1,9,1,1,5,1,18,26,9,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,1,2,0,0,6,2,5,0,1,3,6,16,2,15,22,2,31,0,1,1,0,3,12,0,2,13,70,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517724654391558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787272039052648,0.20043673202935053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536783398691091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008665617350042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834055184979889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383552900648003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065420860274924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584452328015307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4959806572416284,0.0,0.0,0.13851951597298304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608312597047014,0.33032351393303944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316644245583855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086951032847694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23351007587956826,0.0,0.0,0.13790863217060148,0.18895384140412846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546685693078222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246698589782306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20043673202935053,0.10622473824980178
mentalhealth,WhiteIversucc,2019/04/16,"Worried about best friend Gonna try to make it short, so my best friend who is also my ex gf since Saturday just told me on the phone that she can’t wait till exactly 2/1 months because then in her exact words “things will finally be good again” I obviously asked what the hell she meant, you know I asked the obvious stuff. Vacation? New School? New Boyfriend? Maybe just renovation of the house? And lastly... suicide? (for content she tried to take her own life two times as far as I know once before our relationship and the other was last Saturday) but she just laughed at me through the phone and said something like “dude don’t worry I won’t kill my self, I mean I would but it’s either right now or never again, so if i don’t kill my self in the next 10 minutes you can write that off” and the thing is she is always 100% honest like ALWAYS honest and she tells you when she is about to do shit like cutting wrists and shit, I mean she told me Saturday night that she would just end it and well idk how the fuck we were able to prevent that from happening but we did. So yeah I don’t know wtf she’s up to like she won’t leave us behind and live a new live, she doesn’t just move out, she does not know any new guys, she’s not gonna kill her self... wtf is she up to???",1.6767794486215557,3.457532360902257,2.5731015037594,96.35534147869677,78.77443609022556,6.087468671679199,19.354010025062657,6.996647511020387,-0.02558847117794505,992,22,234,11,24,312,149,266,0.192,0.67,0.139,-0.9748,0,0,1,0,0,1,28.0,4,3,0,2,17,21,8,0,10,1,21,5,3,2,5,44,40,23,4,3,13,1,0,4,3,7,1,1,0,4,13,11,0,2,7,0,0,1,10,8,1,1,7,1,41,13,24,25,4,34,1,0,0,1,44,11,4,2,26,146,54,1,0.09235374237723612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385525441258764,0.1536914239238202,0.0,0.0,0.06280371176129021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267656456779806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056297984156717634,0.0,0.0785862325884901,0.0,0.19383910970359344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081938231520662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179800370321358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116901055899824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427045445345788,0.08537954665937637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774619374123968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144472478815643,0.08166810938127189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656381905252472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30652719778530674,0.0,0.2030208062060388,0.15056125265448606,0.0,0.09778927834979538,0.0,0.0,0.0652321794656831,0.180477494231204,0.0,0.16310009303619122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164684017536756,0.0,0.09278174740460443,0.2012005997522577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371587605941261,0.09815741248440428,0.0,0.0,0.07122889954894568,0.35678327952211714,0.0982192527485545,0.08666773100695259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983537215316693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915335688990816,0.0,0.0788695913778844,0.08784955779495478,0.0,0.0,0.093466917816753,0.0,0.0,0.2890352847067688,0.0,0.1895995787825874,0.07639597005169031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109842287761729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572293958265852,0.10102000454175396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943852070263025,0.0,0.08072124149367542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271144548181825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385220986928902,0.0,0.0,0.17649591714826204,0.0,0.1254042576305562,0.0,0.0902161867789381,0.0,0.11109018086343833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303710563571476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875794166828395,0.0,0.1312108976529432,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Claymask,2019/04/16,"Head Above Water (aquatic allegories ahead...apologies) 

I feel OK today. I'm not stuck in my own head. No overthinking and spiraling into a panic. My hurricane is quiet. The water is calm.

It's moment like this that I relise how far deep and under I was. I know I'll sink again. For no reason. So I'll enjoy the time I have for now at the surface.

For a while I just wanted things to stop. I believed the current wouldn't have flowed the way it did if I just didn't exist to cause it so. My arrogance to believe I have that much affect on nature. I've come to adjust my thinking that it will never end. I have little to do with it so just enjoy what is going on.

I love my soon to be husband. From where I am right now, I just want to hold him and show how much I care. I worry I don't show it enough when I'm deep under.

I feel OK today.",-0.3622441462772947,1.6869924861878474,2.179163378058405,94.79053406998159,88.22651933701658,4.552591423309655,15.80136806103657,5.916634753146586,-0.6054974480399897,644,13,146,5,21,221,104,181,0.091,0.753,0.155,0.8906,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,15,9,0,1,7,2,16,5,2,5,1,28,29,11,0,4,6,1,2,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,12,6,2,2,6,2,0,3,7,1,0,0,4,3,23,8,19,22,4,32,0,0,0,1,3,14,0,1,15,105,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974516155516658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983654731133653,0.181196269001779,0.0,0.15194029956099553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622500318977284,0.18225314387112235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837139360305265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024381880489112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620443666316808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693673641537356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08617293771083914,0.17678438754321446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15919460075732994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593269502982901,0.0,0.1360392009029051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069501204694647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135344364618147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506320644363354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746599117871384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171825417119901,0.11302056460011135,0.0,0.0,0.10285167458524996,0.0,0.3343852404346824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807321497220585,0.14000642433980934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17912781267827596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LividLuna,2019/04/16,"Disassociation To an Unhealthy Degree I'd like to start this off with my diagnosis's, if that would help bring context to my situation at all.  
\-PTSD

\-BPD

\-Generalized Anxiety  
\-EDNOS

\-Depression

\-BP 1  


Some basic info here as well. I'm 22 and live with my fiance who is 20. We're about to make a big move to a large three bedroom house in a month. Financially, we're stable but not in the best place. I work part time and he works full time. I'm usually home alone for his whole shift as my job is very early in the morning and his is all throughout the day. I have an extensive history of trauma, unlike my fiance, and can be incredibly unstable when alone. Most of my days are spent in bed after my shift. I don't do anything other than be on my computer and eat, rarely.  


So to get this story started, I just joined Discord to start RPing (Role Playing via text.). Yes, it's embarrassing but, it was something I used to keep myself sane by locking myself away when times got tough. It started as mostly sexual RP. (By the way, my fiance is aware of this and it never went farther than texting. I was never cheating and he never considered it as such.)  


I have very low self-esteem and absolutely hate my body. Like, if I saw myself on the street, I'd probably kill myself. I HATE myself. I think very low of myself. Also, I have a variety of kinks my fiance doesn't share. (DDLG, he prefers oral, ect.) So this was an outlet for my kinks.  


Eventually, I found a woman who not only shared a love for a certain fandom but, she and I clicked very well in other areas. We started RPing and it lead to a month long RP filled with drama, sex, and trauma. I would be on literally all day. And I do mean all day. From the moment I woke up to five or six in the morning. Sometimes we'd go to bed early and I'd work in the morning but, when she got on, we'd go back at it.  


I was using a self-insert character because, yes, I'm a sad piece of garbage. Slowly and slowly, this has become the only thing I wake up for. In that reality I feel attractive, loved, and wanted. Like, I'm worth something.  


I don't want to stop but, I've fallen so far. This woman has her own things going on, she works in between replies, has friends, and has a social life. I don't. All I have is my fiance who doesn't really get it. I mean, he loves me but, I feel like I'm too broken for him and he deserves better. I feel like lately he's felt pushed away and unloved as well. I'm losing everything around me. I haven't taken my medication in awhile, missed doctors appointments, and haven't seen a therapist in god knows how long.  


I'm on the edge of reality and I have nothing else to live for. I'm starting to not care about things again, I don't bathe, eat, or sleep. My apartment blew up into a disaster area because of this and I still couldn't muster to get out of bed.  


I don't know if I want advice as much as I want to know if I'm not as stupid as I think I am. Please don't think bad of me, I just want to feel wanted.",1.3687795698924743,3.347417566129036,3.3993548387096806,89.0956989247312,80.59677419354837,6.133333333333334,20.81720430107527,7.235395106297159,0.5376204301075274,2321,65,501,31,60,786,281,620,0.155,0.7240000000000001,0.122,-0.9746,1,2,2,0,0,1,104.0,3,0,0,8,23,37,5,1,26,2,41,12,3,5,9,91,102,50,1,14,18,0,5,5,1,2,3,0,6,2,25,28,2,2,16,3,2,10,18,17,3,3,14,8,69,20,82,80,15,83,0,6,3,4,30,39,0,9,38,318,94,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856879258351073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14534881488464554,0.0,0.056114498670295665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053679451399888375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057743493813494015,0.06246570382566542,0.0,0.0,0.13185305113337614,0.053955990033675814,0.058588575281969216,0.08554931351137626,0.07749666510924105,0.0,0.0,0.07363852816042643,0.06205919269586081,0.0,0.07794246101580711,0.08837598927529375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154244976520295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810140090300413,0.0,0.06043686046590165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718214244245528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360176836465702,0.05861758704737205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306379380445314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191916667865434,0.10025816474529158,0.06737369387699349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693720047807938,0.05421275736046986,0.0,0.10998195358197804,0.0,0.1196367781467456,0.0,0.1122418682495442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855564598164918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047033115678916534,0.0,0.07038569825249318,0.0,0.0,0.08096614560582102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963237023704262,0.06236984776445624,0.0776321205098597,0.0,0.11568991452099138,0.0,0.07915421692290309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956277081436313,0.17140628975223438,0.0,0.12392185263726567,0.1241955431742521,0.0,0.07850168668384354,0.0,0.0,0.18999205497182384,0.0,0.046838665150668056,0.0,0.0,0.15287024433208746,0.0,0.07068835738983212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201720072635947,0.07457904026117597,0.051582633207363525,0.0,0.16235705993362762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732949758162361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673408562184462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598669650517871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331215985392937,0.07702500500270291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565455519639015,0.0,0.08202435374943291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04495235836299851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464041182386267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887342266715593,0.07022014412902053,0.07152893656572454,0.0,0.10803977016281703,0.06939939865230739,0.0,0.2979978661186856,0.0,0.056037428247988304,0.0586648177120221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08147216133037588,0.13985243092898902,0.13488528643746872,0.0,0.0,0.12274914424725053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120778266204395,0.07728175617081677,0.23158864127235684,0.2483266235732761,0.055697258037299316,0.0,0.0,0.18927233779806807,0.06504780036962897,0.0,0.0783417057711479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20433683535648445,0.0,0.0,0.09969275443480816,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,EyeAmKnotMyshelf,2019/04/16,"I think I’m losing my mind. Even posting this seems like an exercise in futility, but I’m here so I’m going to try and make the best of it. 

34M, recently married. I’m in the best financial situation I’ve ever been in, my wife, from all indications, adores me, I don’t have any kids and I work from home.  Yet I’m constantly being dramatically affected by seemingly minor problems that develop into full blown, albeit momentary, psychosis. I’m trying to encourage myself to go outside more, to have more meaningful social interactions- after all, an idle mind is the devils favorite toy, or whatever. This is usually a problem upon waking up, or within the first two hours of the day. 

A part of me thinks I went a little crazy when I was homeless in my 20s. I find myself looking back at the freedom of carrying my possessions upon my back with the rosiest pair of nostalgia glasses one can afford. 

I’m not on any medications, before anyone asks. I don’t view doctors favorably and I’m not a fan of prescription drugs or any type of mood alteration other than good ol’ marijuana.  I used to talk to a counselor but that was like 18 years ago.",4.017757667169434,5.894100823529412,6.017337858220213,73.78934514831576,72.43891402714931,9.43599798893917,29.92483660130719,9.861636050157227,3.273364806435395,906,39,161,25,18,315,144,221,0.086,0.73,0.184,0.9816,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,5,8,13,0,0,14,0,11,5,1,3,3,28,30,10,0,2,7,1,0,2,0,0,4,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,6,2,0,3,4,4,0,3,4,2,17,8,30,25,8,31,1,1,2,0,7,13,0,5,16,107,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880176018290023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734171567717839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937107808046934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252917861094393,0.0,0.0,0.20610815186186124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404222071788822,0.0,0.2812940868196527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482936961457285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643262508713713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717643808400015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542211210739235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08851977792723713,0.12122990209621586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224930031998955,0.11399841488147636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233474061077834,0.11241067388836294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443425072242804,0.0,0.13198394409864092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130952035450678,0.13432451068552514,0.0,0.0,0.11254410387864452,0.14993550809045922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946023142060286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350123192130822,0.0,0.0,0.2706465338940216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081627394706043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14513196378192358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835531972063174,0.0,0.0,0.2564804907851238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232982532910406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440158423579533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064551096922438,0.0,0.13661779638372276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772121176572977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717508231161045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18198327565280714,0.0,0.13091929649871975,0.0,0.0,0.11575133761865895,0.14760548297848458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423905027500952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756907311482166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630529707019205
mentalhealth,tenthplagueb,2019/04/16,"Question - I need a name for this, or at least to know I'm not the only one. I've had this issue probably since I was 10, and I haven't figured out what it is, or if it's even a ""thing."" 

Whenever I come home from something, going to a friend's, or maybe someone I love leaves from a visit to my house, I get this extreme anxiety about changing anything. For example, my parents visited and left a week ago. I could not physically make myself clean up my room, because I didn't want to change it. I didn't want it to look different from when they had seen it. I'm starting to clean it up slowly, but I'm still faced with this crushing anxiety.",5.645756929637527,4.505575388059705,6.6697441364605545,81.33932835820895,67.50746268656717,10.045202558635397,33.32196162046908,9.23628265651192,2.6600140724946697,498,19,109,8,7,168,85,134,0.079,0.867,0.053,-0.2811,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,6,0,8,2,1,1,0,21,23,8,0,5,7,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,12,5,0,0,3,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,6,2,14,2,17,16,1,15,0,0,2,1,8,6,0,5,5,71,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524134534405878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679465036828316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441162947297661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067570497185044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3705266491947403,0.15085817853064293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982630433212478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18297259377671352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156710926995134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530427762320424,0.0,0.09149770586316563,0.0,0.09952988086475904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566872671196446,0.0,0.0,0.20207542240083246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827892390784412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624635156427147,0.0,0.0,0.18543638830237008,0.1902782365236324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14706430333830228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15806081448801346,0.0,0.1169000077031198,0.0,0.17594068009735594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985597921953582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186719836892242,0.13319354203672396,0.0,0.0,0.19446009642504414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888187474340944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618462779397436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486856848014693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483862845447294,0.13482290671232405,0.0,0.0,0.12395725032132188,0.0,0.13985829384293252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634796594016987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20659131449928936,0.0,0.1404779686147933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sugarxxfree,2019/04/16,"Ya girl is finally gonna see a psychiatrist today. Here's to hoping I walk out with store bought happiness. Seriously. I've been fighting tooth and nail for almost a year to get back on my anti depressants. It's been pretty rough. I hope that changes today. I also finally got back into therapy, but my therapist left the location before we even had our first session, and they told me they would place me with a new one when they could. That was a month ago. So I'm hoping that doesnt impact today as far as at least getting my medication. If not, they're gonna have a taste of my mentally ill side. Seriously, dont open a practice if you cant care for your patients.. I've been fighting with them since October.",3.1377738927738927,4.947926454545456,4.8183391608391615,81.74238053613054,74.66433566433567,8.403030303030304,25.90268065268065,9.075114841892004,2.129424708624709,565,20,112,13,12,191,102,143,0.135,0.78,0.085,-0.722,0,0,0,0,4,0,17.0,2,3,4,1,7,10,2,0,7,0,12,4,1,0,0,19,25,10,0,7,4,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,4,9,1,0,0,0,2,1,4,5,0,2,8,3,18,5,14,13,1,23,0,1,1,0,13,9,0,6,13,71,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613056737840206,0.0,0.1424818280522613,0.0,0.0,0.11378842048867885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188228364262252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107741486401473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450730657776044,0.0,0.15052284038177238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136061470012954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255326260893767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667615876079761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398050834418203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31174117550528235,0.0,0.12103090667261583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486802053765491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138014702390527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146923123872194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4239750934592577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545973585792944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334114578102936,0.1433937930939292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357368095817096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742355285514105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641867378480022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866166623721533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14475901414601547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133858695238206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770288834589206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16271981290112722,0.16520843581000744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4046198565244259,0.13596318768877302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107798635032146,0.0,0.0,0.09162941753106874
mentalhealth,will9273904,2019/04/16,"What is wrong with me? Every girl I've had a relationship with, I have felt the need to lie. I can not think of any other reason why apart from fun or excitement. For example, I told one girl I had been having ""gay feelings"", which was completely not true, and obviously ended the relationship. What is wrong with me and how can I stop this?",3.8991044776119423,5.247317119402986,5.134507462686567,82.11758208955227,71.83582089552239,8.942089552238807,23.84776119402985,9.3871,1.7690620895522389,265,7,55,6,5,88,49,67,0.158,0.7509999999999999,0.09,-0.5954,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,2,2,17,15,4,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,6,2,7,3,7,9,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,2,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579814387366402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435767355743336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057611874905724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19573450558383124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746490322528308,0.0,0.2230578044221624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17225783540412484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742193125246562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388574117986367,0.0,0.4988364393675906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942248477508292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488573858739166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22198591564305709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20962718764170732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5079976262539594,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Red_Sh,2019/04/16,"Am i having a mental breakdown ? I just went from making 6000-4000 per month to 0 
I lost my only source of income
Good thing i have saving so i will survive , i will probably get another job or sth
However i forget about sometimes feel normal a while then i feel really down all of a sudden and it's a very intense feeling
Am i having a mental breakdown ?",0.42125000000000057,2.87427418055556,3.1152222222222257,85.55200000000005,91.91666666666666,5.102222222222223,19.7,6.742157984588678,0.7088399999999999,279,9,51,4,10,97,53,72,0.069,0.8220000000000001,0.109,0.3467,3,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,5,0,7,0,0,1,1,11,14,5,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,3,10,2,6,10,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,37,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248753454901414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598476750717945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239414464587184,0.0,0.0,0.19897496137062207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23541143996215394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589615656863969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835103087095814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781385412874056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18935252694797464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23243233599934035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042201280630588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557710978076692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197385032139465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346238152404033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760324321923322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957373249510676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199120365895425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mgreenlee19,2019/04/16,"I don't understand what's going on with me **TLDR: I can't focus on anything and I'm having trouble sleeping. It's starting to affect my schoolwork. Any ideas on how to fix it?**

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I'm (20F) a sophomore in college. For the past 6 months I've really been struggling with school. It's not that the classes are hard or I don't understand them. I just don't have the strength to go. I failed all of my classes last semester and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail again this semester. Context: I have a job, but I only work weekends on days that I don't have school. My grandfather passed away a week and a half ago which has been really hard since we were super close when I was a kid. His passing has been really hard and I'm still grieving. My boyfriend went out with me when I saw him for the last time and he's been helping me with my grief. I haven't been able to sleep recently. I end up falling asleep at around 4-5am and wake up at 10am. I try to go to bed at around 10pm, but NOTHING works. Trust me, I've tried everything. I can't fix my sleep schedule.

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I just don't know what's wrong with me. Everyday feels like an alternate reality or a dream I can't wake up from. I keep hoping that I can go to sleep and wake up and have everything be okay. But everyday I wake up and I realize nothing has changed and it makes me really anxious. I can't afford to drop out of school or to quit my job. Any ideas? Honestly, I think I just need someone to talk to.",0.5081488442022177,2.6260996166134234,2.4769714339409923,93.70061407630146,84.78274760383384,5.982672429994363,21.98543506859613,7.285733465282438,0.7077698552903589,1152,40,261,18,34,384,152,313,0.106,0.782,0.112,0.7155,3,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,1,0,1,7,10,15,0,1,11,1,28,9,9,3,2,47,50,19,2,2,10,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,11,21,0,1,8,2,0,9,11,7,0,1,9,5,40,8,40,40,1,48,0,4,1,0,8,19,0,4,20,157,51,12,0.09094919180771173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806209709773154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19708682265096933,0.22102644586297815,0.12369713841984463,0.0,0.0,0.10274669908450144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484343548438183,0.161928126114536,0.0,0.0,0.08544975956766247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962121855000863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05865470467706292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055398879131079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16347853831805914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598664409542933,0.06497412079993704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584426081463513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444178348535968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060961326142025776,0.0,0.0,0.0903330689124621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20534113435446305,0.0,0.0,0.18050607835727508,0.0808398205416338,0.0,0.0,0.04998329729066978,0.14827146030042662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044433181096121016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060709291763696084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259477719501227,0.0,0.0,0.06743767331239332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453640490553385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917095869730891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868212946960221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252802489310867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673566064480572,0.0,0.0,0.2330575246367009,0.0,0.08980135471786131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761363129650544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523411130635461,0.0,0.3640594969053421,0.0,0.07706095507739125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437430607441957,0.0,0.07263214206149905,0.0,0.0,0.0950798424640659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571853693929499,0.0,0.0,0.07310151528088359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05827656974297307,0.0,0.0,0.053033205137102864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349706235138365,0.0,0.0,0.18936263233469786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295395569746592,0.0,0.0,0.08431081198671052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242418967132127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994386637984116,0.22102644586297815,0.0
mentalhealth,gretavanZEPPELIN,2019/04/16,"long term ECT side effects? to anyone here who as gone through ECT, have you experienced any memory loss or other long term side effects? I went through ect treatment for a few years, from 2013-2016 maybe, to treat my depression or bipolar or whatever diagnosis i was on at that point. started out at a couple times a week then worked down to once a week/month.. the thing is; I DONT REMEMBER. because of my treatment i have lost 95% of my memories(maybe more, hard to quantify memories) before late 2016- early 2017. it can be very frustrating when friends are talking about all the good times i dont remember at all or when my best friend from highschool passes and i dont have any memories of him. In addition to memory loss i have a lot of difficulty retaining new information or memories. I also think it may have messed with my brain function in other ways. i am now extremely awkward/anxious in any social situation, i am very slow with reading(especially having to read outloud), and math is more difficult. i never thought twice about these things because i have no idea what i was like before ECT. after talking to my best friend, he said i wasnt always like this. so now im curious, has anyone else on here had similar side effects?",5.7691666666666634,7.002171675213678,6.300929487179487,75.93677884615389,67.2905982905983,9.952564102564104,32.57371794871795,10.125756701596842,3.3814538461538466,988,42,179,24,16,321,141,234,0.103,0.767,0.13,0.8621,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,0,9,10,16,1,0,7,0,23,2,1,3,3,26,30,13,0,0,5,0,1,2,3,1,1,1,0,0,11,6,0,1,9,1,0,3,6,7,0,1,9,3,22,9,32,19,10,38,0,4,0,0,12,14,0,7,22,122,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793413514118838,0.09149465768447394,0.0,0.0,0.22432757647278312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377171349079358,0.11266594189390587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405991452842494,0.0,0.18713394061493785,0.0,0.2307902748950293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275055737232897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166749025509252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470748526050657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866132226311516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918565957678693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548620434152884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222835297090304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850162392122086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413027390486205,0.11877453849930295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403848867633173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744078057745396,0.0,0.0,0.19462042673828706,0.0,0.0,0.120033186695967,0.09348316983512196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22093709593996205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087768187368869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480712345671103,0.10619904219119124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710269647829648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394675264180232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099887096471398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24912411750110236,0.0,0.10459614483324524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235984704882193,0.0,0.11208930532253783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07782951302547382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17676168281047222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610368505520546,0.0704572572580007,0.0,0.08729512630080469,0.12823589974637215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814553044344281,0.0,0.08728029887644925,0.17640487925887008,0.0,0.0,0.10193305124131588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005142752915373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080996071025543
mentalhealth,babyrubear,2019/04/16,I hurt myself when I’m mad... I hit myself in the face and bang my head against the wall if I get really upset. Am I crazy?,-1.2876190476190459,0.34864071428571464,1.957142857142859,97.65452380952385,88.2857142857143,5.161904761904762,12.904761904761903,6.42735559955562,-0.9630380952380948,92,1,24,1,3,33,22,28,0.309,0.691,0.0,-0.8384,0,0,0,0,0,2,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,7,0,2,3,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,15,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30772038206345337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.604468589187461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6305206836454835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.377318908409948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Reliable_Narrator,2019/04/16,"I fucked up my meds; What now? My psychiatrist can be kind of a dick. She's sometimes really dismissive of my hesitations to take drugs. I didn't want to take adderall largely because of common reports that it hurts creativity, and she got exasperated and said that was bullshit.

I went on Wellbutrin, which I absolutely needed at the time, but I realized it was causing brain fog, making me slow and embarrassing in social situations, and killing my creativity. I didn't want to have to fight her on this, money is tight, and Google said it was fairly nbd to get off of, so.... I just stopped cold turkey (from 500 mg).

I was feverish for a couple of days and then extra stupid for a couple more, and then it was out of my system. The results were basically what I expected. I started killing it socially. I had my first *really* good idea in a couple years. I also got much sadder and maybe worse at getting things done.

What I didn't expect: *fucking restless leg syndrome*. I'm 90% sure that's what this is. Every couple of hours, I wake up feeling like I've been stuck on an airplane for 8 hours and I have this horrible need to exercise. Outside of that, I also struggle to fall asleep, to fall back to sleep, etc. I'm also finding all these weird, long, deep scratches on myself, which I guess I'm doing in my sleep. (?)

I started taking iron, which is apparently what you do for restless leg syndrome, and melatonin. The iron hasn't done anything yet (unsurprising; I've taken it once) and the melatonin just makes the sleeplessness more annoying.

Where do I go from here? Should I just admit defeat (the sadness is pretty bad) and go back to 500mg? Should I slink back to the psychiatrist and ask for 250? Go back on so I can taper off like a fucking adult? Wait it out and see if I start sleeping better? Find a new psychiatrist? Kill myself? (Don't worry. I won't do that.)

fml. I'm so confused.",2.2687367614269824,4.758747937500001,3.76989130434783,84.84071627647718,80.49456521739131,6.274358974358973,24.38154960981048,7.516190064127842,1.3269211817168336,1483,55,284,23,39,489,193,368,0.217,0.6829999999999999,0.099,-0.9945,1,0,1,0,1,1,70.0,0,1,0,3,17,25,9,5,14,0,31,14,9,4,2,46,68,24,3,9,5,0,3,2,0,3,2,2,0,1,25,16,0,3,6,1,1,6,6,19,0,1,20,7,38,6,42,44,6,47,0,3,1,4,12,18,4,3,24,192,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20384468759181348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992075569174512,0.0,0.0794328506452913,0.0,0.0,0.2613380901014519,0.07094405253429033,0.051795208902198436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514657261525434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485148165767328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728470691740603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760583077520927,0.0,0.05479680681884524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390186571115762,0.0,0.0,0.09853496227772364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476087419574786,0.0,0.0,0.07158852012756768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042961963010780486,0.060700575773093235,0.0,0.0,0.15531694024653142,0.07227304633657912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356523872801788,0.08878369722188244,0.0,0.14486643228697887,0.07126644568792029,0.1359120435907435,0.0,0.09360093638736584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673511288282925,0.0,0.09095913162062108,0.0959176125183373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820108123107818,0.08848025074499298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302135197086903,0.0,0.0,0.07519328723283063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343251496022184,0.0,0.08536096027443768,0.0,0.09437939090249613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246065930957091,0.12600418592702234,0.0,0.08206183921353813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048728172682902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644217600808601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886431212558488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164650532740246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770784774978905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550667880773772,0.2550856495526254,0.17322669510287236,0.0,0.0,0.08403472110632916,0.0,0.1804206380449116,0.0,0.0,0.0710363733824588,0.0,0.08882615279635138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008056873387362,0.0,0.19165425225389052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05644842394115378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049545050356692606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023169729854144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876543412181575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628830337685273,0.08658882307780641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471608303265765
mentalhealth,ravikant99business,2019/04/16,"How easier is to boost mental health and what kind of diet we should avoid and which on to include in one's life? How can someone boost their mental ranking while working in an office?

How do I come to know whether my habits support my mental abilities in all sphere of life like; personal life, family life; professional life, relationship, monetary life, learning life, etc.",10.896517412935324,9.289842432835826,9.675223880597015,65.47412935323385,57.50746268656717,13.112437810945272,40.24378109452736,11.855464076750405,4.812267661691543,301,12,49,7,3,94,49,67,0.029,0.764,0.207,0.9111,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,0,1,2,3,4,0,1,1,0,4,9,0,3,1,13,7,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,8,0,0,1,2,4,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,3,9,6,2,6,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,31,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296772248215213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16789233953104862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419160913450679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001740558823846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567646607943309,0.08273306685534472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7443179555821458,0.07354643533905522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551279470881884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201007104005004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314460706453081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162405140248376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755239237777574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708314619085465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959520411018753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fairysbrew,2019/04/16,"What the hell is going on? I'm 17, have depression, Asperger's Syndrome, and possibly anxiety (I can't afford to be diagnosed anymore).

Basically what I want to ask is, what's going on with me?  
I live in an abusive household, and after a particularly bad incident with my mother, I won't really have the strength to do anything. I can barely move, so I hide in corners and cry it out until I feel well enough to carry on with my day. That's not what I'm worried about. What I'm worried about is the fact that those episodes have gotten way more intense.  
In the past couple of months, whenever those episodes come, they've started making me feel like I can't breathe even though I can no problem, and I usually feel really dizzy. My breathing has started to go all weird, so much so that I've even started hyperventilating a couple of times.  
The worst part about it is the fear. Now, when I have these episodes, I have this feeling like I should be afraid, but I don't know what I'm supposed to be afraid of.

I don't know what this is, but it scares me, and I want to know what's going on, and if there's anything I can do to stop it.",5.500706233421749,5.021580469827587,6.32344827586207,81.5125331564987,67.57758620689654,9.379840848806367,32.07029177718833,8.841846274778883,2.3740924403183024,887,33,189,13,13,294,115,232,0.146,0.784,0.07,-0.9511,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,13,14,1,4,9,0,25,3,2,1,2,30,49,15,0,5,4,1,4,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,20,11,0,1,7,0,0,6,7,10,1,0,1,4,23,4,27,43,6,29,1,1,0,0,2,9,1,1,15,131,43,0,0.0,0.152370597658543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837905250112508,0.0,0.12753716853033695,0.0,0.0,0.2116545553775138,0.0,0.12022413458899772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737606986130548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11077796845192543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845880780886868,0.14126164221984988,0.08293670218955791,0.0,0.11076344697499037,0.13052682966470472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328787232903566,0.0,0.169878872762124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14471134792262633,0.2600971654047919,0.18374448687387285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923465763633248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21202646222526314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565544497046174,0.0,0.11355662296004382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584185154227883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264771513024908,0.13668201008017392,0.09453618560013907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392618406097492,0.12276375614813502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144977773584802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305333813610565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16476958344816522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287515638256525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730723484645595,0.0,0.0,0.10751580038822743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634936655953924,0.0,0.07498800249408871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416353138758743,0.0,0.15170384756697453,0.10207711386244857,0.0,0.0,0.1156273196518146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261200158734325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,stars973,2019/04/16,"I need some words of support 1. I have no idea how to ask my friends or family for support 
2. I don't want to unload even more onto my boyfriend because even though he handles it like an angel I know it stresses him out
3. Despite those things I have had a terrible day inside my head and can't deal with it anymore right now at 1 am",2.84375,3.4589836527777784,4.284333333333337,89.994,73.58333333333333,6.871111111111111,28.288888888888888,6.742157984588678,1.191985555555556,261,10,59,2,5,87,58,72,0.126,0.728,0.146,0.3565,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,2,0,6,1,1,1,0,11,12,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,9,4,8,11,2,6,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,3,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22572221329980216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21277920832174346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874541144549005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467858836583825,0.23464994234211126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30066086298302097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21456498918247188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175846444976386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335875791941745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569374445202968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508531926578245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119591833010399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16876563480330609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19437274833501333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26071984900450235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5165651115250647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121012099697131,0.0,0.2236199768074925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342468577337438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Raviolisaurus,2019/04/16,"I think Ive been experiencing some pretty bad paranoia for the past two years, anyone else been there? Never really had this problem before, I dont think, Im only 19 so.. yeah i dunno. I have a bunch of undiagnosed shit because I havent had an amazing web of support and i also havent been to a phsychiatrist in .. 5? years? Ive been going to different therapists since i was roughly 14 though.

I had a MASSIVE mental breakdown when I was 17 that completely destroyed me. I died when it happened (not literally, just me as a person), and Ive been trying to rebuild since. It made me realize I needed to respect myself more and also start actually allowing myself to feel things which has been super terrifying. Part of the whole thing was that suddenly I was feeling everything for the past 17 years that I hadnt been allowing myself to go through, and it was so intense. I wont get into my journey with that, but basically i started to realize I was angry and/or scared pretty much all the time. 

I started expecting burglars to show up every time I would turn a corner or open a door in my own house. I looked for crude weapons just so that I would have something available just in case. I was worried about it when my family was home, too, but not much of the time, and when they were there i wouldnt worry about weapons because for some reason it meant there was no way that a burglar could be in the house in my head. Even in the moment, though, i knew my chances of facing a burglar in a part of town like my neighbourhood like that are low. I realized it was part of my stress and its gotten a little better since then but I do often do regular sweeps of the house when I wake up and when I come home to make sure that no one is there. 

Somewhat recently, Ive been paranoid about planes falling out of the sky after many nightmares about having to escape being on the ground near a crash and a following apolocalypse. Tonight, it was tiny fat aliens. What the actual fuck. Like I know this shit isnt likely in the SLIGHTEST but that doesnt mean i didnt run into my room, close my door HARD behind me, and lean up against it after locking it because i anticipated a tiny grey hand wedging its way between my door and the doorway. 


I wonder if its related a little more closely to my nightmares, though. I didnt have many burglar dreams when that started, i did have an alien dream and they freak me out, but there is one other time from when I was a kid that really messed with me.


I had nightmares for two years straight. Zombie dreams, every night, before and after December 21, 2012. Friends would die in front of me, my family would die in front of me, I would die and not wake up irl, strangers recieved no mercy, it was neverending. I made these makeshift sock holsters for knives when i learned how to sew, came up with a plan for my friends and I during the apocalypse, and I wasnt fucking around. My plan was that, if there were signs that zombies were coming, Id get giant knives from my kitchen, put them in my holster, grab some water and supplies in a bag, get up on the roof tops, and get the fuck out of dodge. I kept ramen and soup cans in my room, along with flashlights and weather proof ponchos and a first aid kit in the event that I needed it. I still do. I wasnt doing this because I wanted to be a bad ass or whatever. I was considering this shit because I was 12 years old and had been having dreams that it was either survival or die for at least a year at that point. It started after i watched pet semetary i think. I called it nightmare season because it came back in shorter waves after that. I told my parents but they had this thing about not listening to me in general and when something was wrong and i stopped bringing it up because nothing was happening about it. I cant do zombie movies now, even though I used to love them, because it gives me panic attacks. I know it isnt real. I still get scared.



Is anyone else paranoid? I didnt even know this was happening to me because I didnt have a word for it. Im feeling kind of alone here.",5.250332103321036,5.537349630996313,5.70096949569496,83.15028819188193,68.06519065190652,8.422819188191884,30.405141451414515,8.174460898885233,2.0082230455104555,3202,115,646,39,50,1030,335,813,0.165,0.7340000000000001,0.101,-0.9963,2,1,2,0,0,0,83.0,0,0,5,7,46,36,11,4,40,1,86,16,10,8,4,113,139,56,5,14,19,1,7,4,2,7,1,1,10,2,53,41,3,2,18,5,0,14,24,22,0,5,55,12,99,14,95,73,17,114,0,1,3,5,15,50,7,12,52,473,152,1,0.0,0.0,0.1060688285635446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562866580957667,0.0,0.08692186732659618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600077294880576,0.11136896994328856,0.0,0.04837997085476175,0.0,0.06182707090609565,0.0,0.04178915893678788,0.09075423443477032,0.29816249051549465,0.0,0.09248985921290843,0.0,0.0,0.0480651261414616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05549392590136189,0.12431599960746258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362951849587653,0.05698134632224072,0.0,0.0,0.043391315191491135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820158054513481,0.05678060023035295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06369377714789186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079917392247873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076861939355922,0.0,0.09157866102102484,0.0,0.04884319425528614,0.0,0.1024662219425468,0.0,0.08243777857855862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0462271660289961,0.0,0.0,0.08397605279132905,0.1507275891097541,0.14196920291108706,0.052134183579570725,0.06177281810032224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417548131639046,0.0,0.048683853387466905,0.0,0.055775261434608224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902808490083958,0.0,0.0,0.18812594070328426,0.0,0.0,0.11740724646506802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565935912321694,0.0896023633758491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062039589042938,0.10893908417374684,0.0,0.0,0.04563743259931991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049049902689142895,0.10284808016161147,0.03627675854240847,0.11019778711515273,0.0,0.059199348701710675,0.0,0.0,0.05476856170970395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799019666263251,0.08059458841779686,0.04191542636780675,0.0,0.0,0.05100057589673339,0.0,0.05214700117292727,0.0,0.057027584803269624,0.0,0.07365328681544185,0.041333016642268496,0.0,0.06376399213442706,0.06034543626429999,0.1765561229821464,0.10375990404521003,0.0,0.047453330064835916,0.0,0.0,0.051375076514109816,0.0,0.0,0.11058000249841513,0.0,0.052002329344005935,0.0,0.05463331506879185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061858296444771685,0.0696316107643411,0.05587732700021601,0.05366068302297541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088207979894348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735792425870102,0.1348681368563777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367729188195963,0.0,0.0,0.1923339154479572,0.0,0.08680248454351251,0.045436167325171514,0.0622538141350812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061671845400987337,0.05122100055555001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310055837421827,0.1083163418953119,0.10446926596382444,0.21358092260669267,0.0,0.12675969174387006,0.0,0.0,0.051930478122597934,0.0,0.036897754704964064,0.05911346387583567,0.10617740714970383,0.0,0.0,0.046937988635538413,0.0,0.0,0.0320550159931661,0.08627555780224913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060676006348994026,0.0,0.0,0.058936538616636086,0.0,0.11038316298404864,0.0,0.19303122588067467,0.05941944456271635,0.0,0.20998446167836385
mentalhealth,WhoWhyWhenWhat,2019/04/16,I’m attempting to work a full 8 hour shift today If I get through the whole shift it will be the first in 2 weeks and I will be so proud.,2.171875,1.8269974375000009,3.5562500000000017,98.06375,74.625,7.65,22.25,7.1686216300943375,0.14988750000000015,106,2,30,1,2,35,26,32,0.0,0.862,0.138,0.6113,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,2,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,19,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700107393943183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272695224596017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4283873314807977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123290940090091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34893072500555045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4856619148706484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31668514797129543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,swapThing,2019/04/16,Worst thing you've done cause of mental illness. I messed up so bad I got a chronic pain disease recently. Started getting a lot of prescriptions and lost my cool.  I yelled and insulted people. Then clawed at my brothers face. What's the worst thing you done because of your mental illness?,3.3927777777777814,6.2821886481481535,3.4348148148148177,86.4666666666667,79.18518518518519,5.822222222222222,29.37037037037037,7.1686216300943375,1.9246148148148148,233,11,40,3,6,71,41,54,0.422,0.544,0.034,-0.9785,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,1,8,1,0,3,1,2,5,1,1,0,4,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,4,2,7,1,5,2,3,5,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,27,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19649251946912275,0.14345629732250414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417509482565203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4816529999812229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295133793265722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18821662223506624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568928464529672,0.20007098249602276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4743189227506413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504100049110609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314968509136507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23236211223173006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16656931045082413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312688453620474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Quackwackreddit,2019/04/16,"what are antidepressants like? i have recently been visiting a therapist who is referring me to a psychiatrist to receive antidepressants. i’m not sure what kind yet, all i know is that they are “stronger” antidepressant (not ssr) and i am worried how they will feel. doesn’t anyone have experience with this medication that they are comfortable sharing?",7.178000000000001,9.956874133333336,7.183333333333337,64.935,66.0,12.133333333333333,37.0,11.602472056035307,5.4689,288,15,45,11,5,92,45,60,0.108,0.713,0.179,0.6829999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,3,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,11,1,0,1,2,10,14,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,7,5,3,12,1,4,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386547986252172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.333870744335596,0.0,0.0,0.17257869608798762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554261777860899,0.18757733777445587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667488595318513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438381110160156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3370065593823948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216845592136575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962920498738022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34662110017377923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ladyxena97,2019/04/16,"Struggling. So 3 years ago in February my mom passed ahway. Its just been me and my dad since then. Im a college student who lives at home, commutes to school, and works on the weekends. And we've had the conversation of my dad dating again, and i know that  its important for him to have a life of his own and should have relationships and stuff. And i knew he had been on dates with a couple different people. He went out of town for a couple of days last week, and i figured he was meeting someone. But he sat next to me after i woke up one afternoon (after a night shift) to tell me he's been consistently seeing a girl and that she's coming to stay the weekend with us. He said he didnt want to just like surprise me with her, but like how the fuck is just telling me she's coming for the weekend not surprising!?! He seems really happy. And on one hand i want him to be happy and live his life but on the other I am just like no, this is not okay. 

So im stressing out about school, I'm in the nursing program and its kind of kicking my ass right now, and now this. I just don't know how to handle it. I want to just disappear this weekend and not come home from class. Its been a tearful day and i can't sleep. And like how can i tell him i want no part in this without hurting his feelings? Im just at a loss, feel alone, and super sad.",3.2749870274277235,3.730910327464791,4.449332839140105,89.78595626389921,72.48591549295773,7.3873980726464055,25.510748702742767,7.273561745256523,0.9237422535211262,1039,30,239,10,19,342,147,284,0.14,0.736,0.124,0.452,1,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,3,16,17,1,2,15,1,18,6,3,3,0,54,38,26,0,5,14,3,3,4,0,1,2,1,2,1,14,25,0,0,7,4,0,6,9,6,0,2,13,5,30,11,37,23,2,42,0,3,1,2,30,14,2,1,25,159,44,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932766731455496,0.0,0.0,0.10898260376769646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27192914965306203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23286156732401164,0.0,0.1357243816413614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099389778314434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641105207122913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727992195983612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22403048313380125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111009070050407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264681840546853,0.0,0.34098704347987724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957688975871832,0.11565913006506658,0.08577339352032673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486487472932672,0.20563281536691327,0.0,0.18583331656118893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323964816394765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190925246361096,0.09874765606835796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260798641729097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394971528887113,0.0,0.07295059460540249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741059517803732,0.0,0.0,0.11297355394480488,0.0,0.08986259583754973,0.1000942082837915,0.0,0.0,0.21298905479821068,0.08385165397034733,0.09579397617896103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704419612724955,0.0,0.10530218839688676,0.0,0.08915781380331195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215712339590887,0.0,0.0,0.12053625119061102,0.11000526638095746,0.12045881846850992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759169981658645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657415678269535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482605452117353,0.0,0.08440610672106831,0.0,0.0,0.0975457372565392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014342972608566,0.0,0.07660592341421718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677622197949941
mentalhealth,PrivatePilot22,2019/04/16,"I have really low self esteem. Is that all it is, or is there something more? Hello! I’m a 17 year old male who has had really low self esteem for the last three years, mostly caused by hating how I like. Internally I know I’m a pretty regular-looking guy, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m terribly ugly. I didn’t look in a mirror for about two years because I hated how I looked. I skipped out on numerous occasions with other people because I didn’t want to be seen. I missed a chance with a girl I really liked and I knew liked me because I was scared to be with her in person because I thought her seeing my face would make her stop liking me. I went on acne meds a few months ago when I had moderate acne and they’ve helped a lot. I started looking at myself in the mirror again and was more outgoing too. However, my acne has started to come back over the last few weeks, and I’m really feeling down on myself again. It’s hard for me to make eye contact with people and hard for me to talk to people I don’t know. Is this just regular low self esteem that all teens go through, or am I dealing with something more serious here? I know you guys will tell me to go to a therapist or mental health professional or talk to my parents, but I don’t really want to do that. I just want to know if I’m dealing with low self esteem or something more. Thanks.",3.365669014084503,4.206433383802821,4.9888450704225376,84.58678873239437,72.55633802816901,8.0743661971831,25.46760563380281,8.395991825355821,1.5282540845070414,1067,32,225,17,20,362,138,284,0.152,0.733,0.115,-0.911,2,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,12,16,2,2,12,0,22,3,2,5,2,45,55,16,0,5,10,1,4,4,0,2,1,0,0,9,9,13,0,1,8,0,0,5,5,11,0,2,10,10,36,5,34,41,10,35,0,5,6,0,23,14,0,8,20,149,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157484262441048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076174639944201,0.0,0.22439098322763015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453529400236163,0.0,0.07927161507759624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18974800942206071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930614754308765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460015468140578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18223895591957925,0.0,0.0,0.16487311900019516,0.18171178912749136,0.0,0.0978185506280302,0.0,0.0,0.0616825935724634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229871016972872,0.1500257425962049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983557931783664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091121730207216,0.0,0.0,0.07823658723163966,0.0,0.0,0.12285515446983113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221932090777353,0.0,0.092739819919002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345368646953578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656503256564024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218316343138903,0.0,0.0,0.19139618964562544,0.08035290954135291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362277553227026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294768697650995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09213334159178917,0.0,0.07333221957599337,0.0,0.3840096745577166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21253662881202898,0.0,0.0,0.1302719087457776,0.0,0.0,0.07693723997866922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793284011233046,0.08043413550873785,0.08472449762715252,0.0,0.10684842248425568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305777901814338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989530956393008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283665215441834,0.0,0.07381711461306399,0.0,0.0,0.08530834019956614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537210606991757,0.0,0.0,0.17778375544221772
mentalhealth,hesitantallien,2019/04/17,"I’m scared to take meds My parents and therapist want me to consider meds because my anxiety is getting really out of hand. That absolutely terrifies me. I have this fear that I’ll be judged for it, that they’ll turn me into some emotionless zombie, or that they’ll really mess me up permanently some how. I know these fears are irrational, but I can’t shake them, and I really don’t want to try anything, even though I know they could really help me.

I’ve also seen someone get pretty messed up from meds, but not because they were abusing them or anything. A friend of my dad’s took some experimental anxiety medication for a while and now it has him completely messed up. He’s in his late 40s and his brain is severely deteriorating, and because of that he’s lost a lot of mental and physical functions, including the ability to walk. I know that probably wouldn’t happen to me, I wouldn’t be taking experimental drugs, but it still scares me shitless nonetheless, and that’s the main reason I’m o terrified of taking any mental health medication.",6.745746268656718,7.1515678159204015,7.673843283582087,69.87852611940299,64.87064676616916,11.874129353233831,33.167910447761194,11.538034831475384,4.052614925373135,845,33,154,26,12,285,115,201,0.2,0.706,0.094,-0.9643,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,6,1,6,10,0,5,5,0,15,6,2,4,0,31,32,16,0,5,6,2,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,0,12,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,9,0,0,4,2,26,1,19,21,5,13,0,1,1,0,15,6,0,6,4,100,38,0,0.0,0.13307166727540254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981607685759035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763761907985872,0.0,0.1718371489312731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848468471170339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053935408725103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253776303998816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775727186112578,0.0,0.0,0.0896722037861335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024656933151124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418119105885895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527650430943238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677217648078836,0.0,0.1173570447322544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931736404325812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938268455957644,0.0,0.0,0.07528054304627806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517164904773215,0.0,0.12669312564870475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122602103317858,0.09548387043690457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742608185914986,0.2262855800446743,0.2263686917546611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470947779238033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426194936646575,0.12109161634090722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878004486778566,0.11547571286270568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248883383786396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268808897836873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951618167291082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969271902427751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533345350405505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040319484626495,0.0,0.0,0.11034622903394638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247830576887723,0.07625265481243415,0.12216349183667173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248936630851998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crazyfox567,2019/04/17,How Do I Tell My Mom I Have PTSD My therapist just diagnosed me for PTSD for an incident that happened two years ago with a relative on my mom’s side. She wants to start EMDR therapy (specific for PTSD/anxiety) next week and under contract my parents don’t need to know. Since I’m still 17 in high school I’m around my parents a lot and my mom is really hard to approach about mental health. I would tell my dad who is approachable but he has no idea about the situation whereas my mom does vaguely; if he knew that it involved a relative of my mother’s I know it would cause a lot of unrest. It doesn’t sit with me well not to tell them and I know that if/when it comes out years later it will only be worse that I didn’t tell them right away. The therapy is also allegedly very exhausting and I know my parents would question if I suddenly started acting differently for “no reason”. How do you tell your parents about a new diagnosis?,2.576814241486069,4.545225121052635,4.233034055727554,84.62035603715172,76.73684210526315,8.049535603715169,25.91331269349845,8.841846274778883,2.0376006191950458,743,28,151,17,17,249,110,190,0.08199999999999999,0.903,0.015,-0.9029,5,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,2,0,10,2,0,0,8,0,15,3,0,4,0,32,28,10,0,7,5,10,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,10,9,0,0,8,0,0,4,6,1,1,1,2,1,25,1,21,21,2,25,0,0,0,0,25,9,0,5,11,98,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935030028553823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158570299383163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847929422593882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968798487603378,0.0,0.0,0.08410298212519547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091957320729471,0.0,0.07710988165173085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085658934239173,0.0,0.09352489330743663,0.0,0.0,0.07833582518368859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07915847110316185,0.0,0.08018851818025992,0.0,0.0,0.09515104309263646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945782914980648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105237182385436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19678203331944275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220615793841816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021080914469896,0.0,0.0,0.419358999806262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637478515859258,0.0,0.08645485715327263,0.0952010024399259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808075215584304,0.0,0.0,0.3975865323940265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31391732074100065,0.0,0.10027811271769674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573460736690021,0.09203708704731783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644595077936421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905947054382982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404834314826847,0.10061943959140823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671939957447625,0.0,0.07148738365584165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3912035010114827,0.0,0.20473809457107076,0.10393467074400027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744386846079825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385985834193949,0.05279870129175628,0.0,0.07180412517284891,0.0,0.08048539848361254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09122418412755663,0.19076823491390107,0.0,0.0,0.11529040021307768
mentalhealth,shellybeep,2019/04/17,"Where do I even start to seek help? I’m gonna try to keep this short because I don’t even know if this is the right place for this. I live around Houston, TX. When I was 15 my mother killed herself while I was in the home. She had bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and she was a drug addict and alcoholic. I’m starting to see myself become the way she was and I’m scared. When I was 17 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but my grandmother who was my guardian at the time didn’t believe in mental disorders and threw out my meds. I’m 20 now and I believe I have been in a manic episode for about a week now and i cant take this anymore. I haven’t slept more than 6 hours in 4 days. I’m thinking about going into the shady part of town and trying to get drugs. I don’t even know what I would get I just want to sleep. I’m working 12 hour shifts at a retail chain on pretty much no sleep. That being said I live paycheck to paycheck and I have shitty health insurance through my job. I’m not sure where to begin. I don’t even have a primary card physician.",1.3345386904761902,3.186087066964287,2.7405357142857163,94.41279761904764,80.11607142857143,5.695238095238095,22.273809523809533,6.655083550727371,0.3751184523809523,829,26,187,8,21,269,129,224,0.091,0.861,0.048,-0.8328,1,0,3,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,14,3,1,1,10,0,22,12,3,0,1,23,46,13,1,3,4,1,0,0,0,2,9,1,1,0,7,12,1,1,3,0,1,2,8,2,0,0,13,2,27,1,25,30,3,32,0,0,1,0,8,16,0,1,13,118,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700020063611647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245011139431746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553488024796622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370806998733896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710162028892508,0.1286630755232497,0.0,0.26250708676580065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513168173678361,0.0,0.0,0.11824318987347762,0.0,0.0,0.4005509858578196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702017820224482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30778376919294514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173097065932285,0.0,0.06620859448319448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383210658131767,0.0,0.0,0.07808626740466769,0.0,0.11685716278567078,0.0,0.2294544605671187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560645736229465,0.10354892590513448,0.12888796401897093,0.0,0.12804869464004556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574003619864514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940320378959008,0.0,0.1174027542915898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08563955910479176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615616500950888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171579185713745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185205203278561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948880030042452,0.11081643709889473,0.0,0.11663499103633301,0.0,0.09283395809973134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23316460636312736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491600810670975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979814614571386,0.0,0.08759212516064875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464732308766901,0.0,0.0,0.06793101954531719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581892200309769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871363879164763,0.09247082448243882,0.09344780458923428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481205495292402,0.0,0.0,0.0827569571857421,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hornyorhavetopee,2019/04/17,"Does anyone else feel this way? Should I stop? I’m probably being dramatic.


Does anyone else get sad or break down but stop crying early, and to keep yourself going you keep thinking about what makes you sad until you cry again? 

I’m not sure this is healthy but I’ve had a few metal breaks downs, one actually a few seconds ago, and I just wanted to sit and cry in the shower, but for some reason I stopped early and just had that empty feeling and stuffy nose. So I did what I usually do, I kept thinking about it to make myself more upset. I usually feel tired after I cry so it’s good to get it all out, but is that bad? 
Like should I not be forcing it on myself? I have trouble crying sometimes and I feel awful in that half state of feeling shitty but not being able to get it out. 
Does anyone else do this? 
Does this make sense?",2.6081954887218046,4.161541502923978,3.8718170426065157,89.05855263157896,75.49122807017544,6.0553049289891385,21.571010860484535,6.5431188927421005,0.3650063492063493,651,16,135,5,14,213,95,171,0.306,0.625,0.069,-0.9945,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,0,7,8,0,1,3,1,13,2,1,4,2,42,33,15,0,3,11,0,5,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,14,8,0,6,8,0,0,1,3,5,0,3,4,6,16,3,18,24,5,24,0,2,0,0,3,7,0,2,12,92,30,0,0.09858298181630523,0.0,0.0962027694866223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738786522340099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20679453916337512,0.303029744605828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231267200271347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5414438821250499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450825269057592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24706029424677295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492325884674991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451661740948788,0.0,0.056026980411913736,0.08268672790962457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175250167705471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04816266529669238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19741471761534946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680237982635115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628912816912482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135972427959768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975010897766438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24725936115644434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291329368020054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263359882830982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330663545537065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171504535437924,0.0,0.0581467968722421,0.07825058230568778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AshleyJangBW,2019/04/17,"is anyone here a part of lgbt+? I'm questioning and I want to know how lgbt ppl feel about... well, things. I have kik and I've met many lgbt ppl, especially bi ppl. I said I was ftm gay, and some lgbt ppl were negative about it despite my thought. I know being part of lgbt does't mean you have to have certain opinion about something and feel same bout things. But I think lgbt ppl have unique experiences and thoughts about mental health based on my experience from joininh lgbt community. Like if your ftm how do u know if it's dyphoria or anxiety?? Can lgbt ppl hate lgbt community?",2.042510121457489,4.654077771929828,2.73526315789474,91.07107287449392,82.68421052631578,6.3147098515519575,22.80431848852901,7.61054688173877,0.9870925775978404,462,16,97,8,13,144,72,114,0.1,0.83,0.07,-0.6662,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,0,8,4,1,0,1,0,10,3,0,2,1,26,24,11,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,10,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,6,3,10,3,10,17,4,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,6,1,53,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584651810996174,0.0,0.0,0.13330672083592005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729840285367162,0.0,0.0,0.1927964591045735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882271335111117,0.0,0.2026517429313021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143283094983489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09314182574735698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328889791148685,0.0,0.20767344185731035,0.0,0.0,0.19213008192267567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4129101478850717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135713247023296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813515472159148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677147292604564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533184122698813,0.12216064594635907,0.0,0.30270917239442663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124501476128498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714169992581689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NASheffield,2019/04/17,"Why has my body stopped believing the logic my brain comes up with? Before, I could think something like 'she doesn't hate me, she's probably just had a bad day' and accept it. I'd know I'd accepted my logic because I wouldn't think of it later and no negative feelings would arise.

Now, when I think things like 'she's just his past relationship, they're done, and we're what matters now', my mind objectively thinks my logic is legit and obviously true but my body starts feeling ill at the mention of reverting back to negative thoughts inciting some kind of anxiety

It happens all the time now, where I have a piece of moral logic or philosophy my character would usually accept as reasonably but my emotions react differently and I ruin my mood and cry and get upset constantly when nothing is logically wrong

What is happening to me?",7.469613220815753,7.6334612215189885,7.911097046413503,69.61231364275669,63.36708860759494,11.832348804500706,36.542897327707465,11.429527900616536,4.407693952180028,675,30,118,19,9,223,103,158,0.183,0.7020000000000001,0.116,-0.9495,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,9,13,1,1,5,0,12,4,3,2,3,43,26,13,0,4,5,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,17,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,3,2,20,7,10,19,3,18,1,1,0,0,6,3,0,2,16,78,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161975061347874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219477834817744,0.1218276638681525,0.0889445848482906,0.0,0.12415755087991748,0.16438913165021135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241433298553893,0.0,0.16288235605376453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568741919861778,0.0,0.15767546189152004,0.0,0.11649621849315572,0.0,0.16027384768368028,0.09409903612353802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244352888167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931525113865865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641276406138143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755163827901066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762312698227334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580531503238651,0.0,0.0,0.14405462655858373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151941450504547,0.08018760171453979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256723432733046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14732618582351706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000332590968462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928635717925872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731424900166344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001843724495265,0.0,0.15665133125081793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232764016228636,0.0,0.0,0.1032749237435565,0.0,0.0,0.12198620052988685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969352521053955,0.37396959521607465,0.0,0.11583520391485645,0.08508053213154684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069781128158436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165990059615507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20729869806395232,0.1595282504338002,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deltaischange,2019/04/17,"Perspective/Letting Go As Improvement In terms of personality, you build up an ego/identity, and when you say that you're this way or that way, you kind of pigeonhole yourself and let the past definition control who you are and who you may be. If the way you choose to see yourself doesn't serve you, couldn't you choose to see yourself in a way that does?

https://youtu.be/x2bn9PtCUpk

A little something that i've been thinking about this week, let me know what you think. Were your biggest breakthroughs when you shifted gears mentally, or was it when you doubled down on what you already know and what got you to the party to begin with?

There's nothing for sale, just some free value for you",8.144945054945055,7.934623692307698,6.8113186813186815,79.30653846153848,62.07692307692307,9.89010989010989,34.72527472527473,9.23628265651192,2.874912087912088,560,21,105,8,7,167,83,130,0.0,0.909,0.091,0.8948,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,15,0,1,6,2,0,0,6,0,10,0,0,1,0,19,19,11,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,12,5,0,1,6,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,4,3,16,3,16,10,3,19,0,0,2,0,19,7,0,5,7,74,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822737475264368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852568193924778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454498454259854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387225821283257,0.0,0.13210483183132968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17200342716143596,0.1815507521477074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.506705182408216,0.0,0.0,0.16554785994091015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645666248896507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848902186006558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576773863360441,0.0,0.14422366956516794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135308895702869,0.0,0.0,0.26324477520419937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271591064104763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116738119115653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5244301094579104,0.13249271503640714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,E123P321,2019/04/17,"So lonely I don't know what do do I have always been a person who loves and prioritizes spending time on my own, but for a year now I have lived extremely isolated and I am starting to go insane. Three years ago I moved across the country from all my friends and family, but got a pet when I moved. The pet was good company at home but died a year ago and I can't get a new one now, I travel too much now. I live on the country side and am self employed so I never meet people or coworkers I can spend time with, but I am very happy where I live otherwise. For two years I never ever felt lonely, I kept myself preoccupied with my million interests. But this last year has been so hard, and now I have come to a point when I don't know what to do. I am in a LDR with a fantastic person but can only meet him once a month and we have no end date to the distance yet. I can't really become friends with my work clients, it would be weird. And I live so far away from the cities I can't spend enough time there to meet people spontaniously, I tried going to events and talking to people and such but it never gets further than that. I now started looking for more social part time work that I don't need just for the oppertunity to maybe make friends through it, even though it really doesn't make financial sense. I applied to everything there is pretty much, but don't think I will get any of them. The only thing worse than not having anyone at all would be moving back where I grew up, so that is not happening. Every chance I get I try to make connections, and I am not shy at all, but it feels like people are not open to meeting others other than through existing friends, work, sports and so on. Now I just don't know what to do. I literally have No One. How do people even make new friends now days?! I feel like wanting to die without actually wanting to die. Phonecalls to old friends worked for two years, but my ""tank"" of social contact is now empty. My interests keep me happy during the day but at night it all gets to me. I must literally be one of the lonliest people in the world. How do I cope with this?? How did you cope, if you have been in a similar situation?",3.932751677852348,4.575321950783,5.003997762863534,85.72492281879195,71.10290827740492,8.28662192393736,26.085682326621924,8.447377352677275,1.4931703803131988,1700,50,369,26,30,560,203,447,0.098,0.763,0.139,0.9739,1,4,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,2,1,4,33,17,0,0,20,0,46,1,0,7,9,70,76,37,3,7,20,0,4,2,6,4,0,0,3,3,18,20,0,2,7,2,3,8,19,3,0,7,8,5,49,14,50,61,10,70,0,2,1,1,24,21,0,2,43,267,67,5,0.0,0.0,0.06807803096112221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368030205476248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058047898449822825,0.0,0.0,0.047440818615856334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04877948633870643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554406344726986,0.053642973048081535,0.0,0.0,0.07704708068884653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600941232722165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998194270611347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172070455953881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061788772478494326,0.07208319929725741,0.0,0.09215480355683324,0.06310407727228015,0.05877782384136007,0.0,0.0626979393622589,0.0,0.06576577420853535,0.0,0.07054792274590578,0.09967653315090884,0.06698283624371561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32338950468351724,0.0,0.18223985165475168,0.0,0.07929514976532655,0.05851338431050141,0.055795357564736664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061690652593639636,0.1485267263993587,0.062493400240262814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699773669609685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062008019138440514,0.0,0.0,0.1150187581158468,0.056865660304492575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816476150812548,0.0,0.2464058799380835,0.0,0.058582838927485975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296328222218488,0.0,0.18626775271603568,0.0,0.07008569917354852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0556836754893688,0.222439145914204,0.10256676973825032,0.051727929495503436,0.16141517160095772,0.13475390525732994,0.0,0.0654672787840366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320389480023635,0.07429467037096836,0.1418184062588982,0.10611488501556053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554587192443296,0.0,0.2901867510366237,0.1218276591572567,0.0,0.0,0.06594800936190733,0.0,0.0,0.07097343239968093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938314899268858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277738916384557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841585120954081,0.0,0.14222794592252966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09875635983211108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607236790254285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04634703319223761,0.04470092372463727,0.06854119565020285,0.0,0.16271604647715385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472816929228442,0.0,0.1362954396536735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057561279267886525,0.08229533222136694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724845612985865,0.0,0.20315140811829946,0.0,0.07109383711841959,0.09911440297727216,0.0,0.0,0.26954815806097204
mentalhealth,Soul_Survivor4,2019/04/17,"On deployment and not okay My job isn't even hard. It's too easy actually. My girl is back home with our three toddlers, and she's 20 weeks pregnant. She has to work every day while the kids are babysat. We've been fighting. Mostly because of me. Insecurities about her ex. I'm obsessed with bringing him up, saying how much better than me he probably was. I recently stumbled upon some old videos they'd taken during sex and have been having PTSD symptoms. I'm not okay. Every day is harder and I'm feeling like the only way to feel better is to hurt myself or worse. I work nightshift so mental health office is open while I sleep so I don't wanna go. I still have 6 more months. Fuck this",0.9661470823341318,3.5064438920863314,2.5324580335731426,90.66025379696244,88.49640287769785,4.527737809752199,19.233013589128696,6.139981653823899,0.06442893685051931,547,16,108,5,18,178,104,139,0.14300000000000002,0.7609999999999999,0.097,-0.7659999999999999,1,0,0,0,2,2,15.0,1,0,1,4,8,10,2,2,2,2,15,5,1,1,0,16,24,10,0,1,3,1,3,1,0,0,2,1,1,2,2,7,0,0,2,1,0,2,4,5,0,1,4,4,16,5,12,19,4,17,0,1,0,2,12,4,1,3,11,67,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.1694582798087052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352686333927408,0.0,0.10585600863660066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071603110933168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239809966526697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469481612774815,0.0,0.29261683331423394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756062780286023,0.1240562748847309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16053750705184994,0.0,0.0,0.09868983787207047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555571445678207,0.0,0.0,0.18458284180869008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741860635998743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858969357685413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17232177518804218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483708375271709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499931658740284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860653324775676,0.0,0.12765343033573653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221746300549854,0.0,0.0,0.13206937409150807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18722509672043824,0.0,0.2029886703358977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17145936580200746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809420695701027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377636075119354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386778746694004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804898290046868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378360429986923,0.13929231931895694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528399226183772,0.0,0.17696515561632026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,igotosleepwithsocks,2019/04/17,"I don't want to take my medication I don't know why, but when I'm off my medication and my anxiety starts to come back, I don't want to take my medication. I know it works for me, and that if I put up with a week or two of sucky side-effects, I'll go back to ""normal"". But I just don't want to take it because I want to get worse. This feeling goes away of course whenever I start taking the medication. 

Right now I'm at that point where I want to make myself worse, and I'm just so tired of having to go over this every time. I guess it's just me trying to be a little self destructive, or maybe I just want to feel worse so I can feel like I have the right to complain to people? I'll start my medication again because I know the healthier me would want this, but it's always the same cycle. I know I should just keep taking my medication consistently to avoid this since I've gone through this so many times, but i'm just so tired. I just want to be the happy me without having to rely on medication for my entire life.",4.155542676501582,3.868083936073063,5.635707762557079,84.66218124341414,70.36986301369862,8.930242360379347,25.52195293291184,8.617729084823388,1.3499417632595714,798,19,186,12,13,272,101,219,0.222,0.731,0.046,-0.9879,0,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,17,5,1,1,7,0,12,10,0,1,0,43,47,15,0,12,15,0,3,1,0,2,10,0,0,1,11,5,0,2,7,0,0,5,5,3,0,1,1,3,29,2,29,42,1,27,0,0,0,0,2,11,0,4,12,117,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945325703099671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385388978164508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842228240862498,0.12836568745846158,0.0,0.10176438643451148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190152789571648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032659951514725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661396387268992,0.05963058148326356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04360933503633777,0.0,0.0948752076308701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195099376027158,0.0,0.0,0.08885476632288547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07419146956591012,0.0,0.0,0.1834904756046416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058956930861254274,0.04077895003875785,0.08365830269646668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055716496425601635,0.08462490667038224,0.08385626713265511,0.0,0.0,0.5886067246837928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178232466610734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578671968752327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890559636460202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390983720859793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256488389652833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707682535674759,0.0,0.0,0.06904677969230552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17724028843509698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137931384253707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734339830419708,0.1918716747850592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05667026770676209,0.0,0.0815375100151294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39385948596658,0.0,0.06695414645377329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531818280477359,0.0,0.0,0.0804615573217024,0.0,0.06076674324586263,0.0,0.25518745766344697,0.05929429220770765,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ajtlm,2019/04/17,"panicked throwaway account, im on the younger side of reddit and am very sensitive to violent imagery of real people getting hurt/mutilated, someone in a discord chat room asked me to look at his share screen, before i can click off i see a dude chop the tip of his penis off in less than 2 seconds, this has shaken me greatly and i have no idea what to do, i cant tell my parents because i wouldnt be allowed to talk to my close friends on my computer anymore, what should i do?",4.903809523809521,5.067155163265305,5.951428571428572,81.48523809523812,68.79591836734693,8.165986394557821,35.72108843537415,7.793537801064563,2.6577700680272107,378,19,75,4,6,126,73,98,0.141,0.805,0.055,-0.8088,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,4,0,10,0,0,1,0,8,14,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,4,13,3,16,11,1,10,0,0,4,0,9,10,0,0,0,51,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496258002855143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23531215375283546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343830747407333,0.0,0.21418419681911424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944682754651665,0.0,0.13150656712997644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775079583509219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694576487090329,0.2841466698118285,0.27188685331412793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113705638511246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794909389626197,0.0,0.0,0.17450200522790216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864977772346522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057796428732844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132706028589612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20231262664990826,0.22000309349473565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076847124104941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cicadians,2019/04/17,"trying hi! im new to this subreddit and sorta to reddit in general? i forgot my account before that i barely used so!! im back!! 

recently i deleted all my social media including discord, aka where i talk to all my online friends. it wasnt easy but i feel like its whats best for me. i told them that i needed to change and they were completely okay with that and supported me. i never had a group of people who showed me that much love and attention. im forever grateful for their kindness, them cheering me made me more confident.

my freshman year of high school was. tragic. my best friend from middle school completely ghosted me and i was alone. another person from middle school bullied me along with a bunch of other people. i had little to no conversations with people my age. the friends i made didnt seem that interested with me at all.
a lot more depressing things happened, including me getting low grades in school. my parents made the decision to change schools because they felt like the environment wasnt healthy.

i wanted to end my life. but my online friends held me back. they showed me that love that i was yearning to recieve from my peers.

going back to the present, my new school is a lot more comfortable for me. but my social anxiety makes it harder to communicate and i hate it. my breaking point was my friend talking about/showing pics of his irl friends. i realized that i was using social media to replace social interactions, and i want to change. not just being more social, but taking care of myself (better hygiene, sleeping, diet, taking my meds, etc).

when im ready, i have their handles written down and saved in my desk. i cant wait to talk to them again and show them the new me.

tl;dr, deleted some social media that i know are holding me back and making my social anxiety worse, hoping to change for the better

sorry for any errors! ❤🌟",3.5052200778737093,5.828913298882682,4.429177247333676,82.62993313018457,75.2290502793296,6.909226341628576,26.21161334010496,7.898369717300924,1.7540901303538183,1483,55,265,23,33,479,181,358,0.111,0.649,0.24,0.9964,3,1,0,0,0,1,47.0,0,0,9,4,9,28,1,0,10,1,16,5,1,7,4,54,46,16,1,5,6,1,2,2,6,0,1,0,0,1,18,15,1,4,7,3,1,1,7,5,0,0,19,2,62,23,38,26,15,29,0,4,0,2,36,12,0,6,17,185,80,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648159183769245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04365147374154227,0.06730892373348889,0.0982105118881329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974329193926642,0.0,0.039129693264935726,0.0,0.05462105299320188,0.0,0.1347271135736534,0.11354186607871038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544609184648101,0.0,0.27161848641760594,0.0,0.13460421125418762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528684485847974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685338192005057,0.0,0.07158893688021002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03245644665408429,0.04585742506591787,0.061632568803298676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975587033244137,0.0,0.03353668141177947,0.0,0.03648071691005679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676309938062099,0.0,0.0,0.0633744410662745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06782037203014596,0.0,0.0637552595960889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27734532133699563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066844118308194,0.035277203936503375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045339370702686975,0.06272008755084846,0.06433535027864586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914426654528736,0.11586815492616295,0.1822146930883992,0.08569478935869912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130073794121503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047187114246882086,0.0475961507823269,0.049507367496329634,0.18598561518955056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127551712458846,0.0,0.0,0.13350401313253135,0.05604832525928538,0.0,0.0,0.060680398925622964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06337998643294032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3897828896758569,0.0,0.058436262345266325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423646404650027,0.4580361110456265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185556915059632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284217241765989,0.0,0.0,0.09652594339083803,0.15478072890836642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04264505464737394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061336397776694924,0.0,0.04358086891300458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087928499293168,0.0,0.0,0.07572197610249128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06541520266100406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04133632417178594
mentalhealth,Good_Benefit,2019/04/17,"Being harassed and mocked for mental health symptoms I'm a YouTuber and Twitch streamer as a hobby, and the way my friends on those platforms are treating my mental illness makes me want to delete my social media profiles and never return.

I have an appointment with a doctor coming up on Tuesday. I'm 99% sure I'm bipolar and experienced mania and psychosis over the weekend. I believed that I was the smartest man on Earth, and I was thinking rapid thoughts about philosophy and science with four different internal monologues going on at once, and I came up with a lot of insane ideas with no real logical connection that I thought were genius.

 I was on Discord while it happening, and my friends recorded me and shared it with people to mock me even after I calmed down and apologized for how I was acting. They think I'm a crazy narcissist now.

In retrospect, I've experienced mania several times before, only not that bad. I was awake for three days writing a novel and then started to hear a voice continue the story while I was trying to sleep. I thought that since I was fine after I slept for 10 hours, nothing was wrong with me. I've been depressed and wrong long essays about how life is meaningless and people don't kill themselves because they don't have the courage.

I just don't know how to fix this situation. That really wasn't me and I'm scared of going back to that. I want to get help and figure out how to recognize mania and talk myself out of it.",7.0743085106383,7.103266386524826,7.058927304964541,75.84562500000001,64.21276595744679,9.603191489361704,34.64627659574468,9.188382445141503,3.0911553191489367,1179,48,209,18,16,377,160,282,0.112,0.748,0.139,0.7067,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,0,10,17,4,1,13,0,19,9,2,5,2,51,42,26,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,1,11,28,0,0,9,2,0,5,7,9,0,2,16,4,28,8,39,25,1,37,0,1,0,0,12,14,0,1,17,145,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056701782864362,0.10920156022082396,0.07972645235271462,0.0,0.11128997995033894,0.1473519978104276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958531909939313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11266129416609286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434670118181803,0.0,0.1126465258109084,0.0,0.0,0.136644425993942,0.0,0.1338658871067798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638348366698746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20209119812675147,0.0,0.06833073325009613,0.0,0.14865836636285684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565438316933654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390203100620304,0.1474062898938482,0.0,0.08766367144901077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287987063040454,0.0,0.0,0.1476424388724645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446962764007797,0.0,0.07187703465339836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237862289273367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157422502751563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119030639185272,0.0,0.0,0.08730124070260156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26360477511598035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008708846522296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549351387044633,0.0,0.0,0.1392837312181299,0.0,0.09946929604068616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18134227409418344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886407287643405,0.0837854077389685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094045692669673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14775191815921998,0.0,0.10818823724328204,0.14700990378683326,0.1308813068233128,0.13332072739985784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257160850337183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326506221057976,0.1359376188241842,0.0,0.10512151922479923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760587035856722,0.0,0.3114904594170672,0.07626286639820927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879568887385371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15428295026269695,0.10381251717460238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859897874348611,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,strawburytom,2019/04/17,"I Can't Leave My House *long and irritating so don't feel pressured to read plz*  Hi! I don't use Reddit that much, so I don't know if I'm doing this right, but I just need somewhere to vent for a sec, since I've recently deleted all social media off my phone. Basically, I haven't really left my house in a few weeks.   Presumably at this point, I've lost my job (I'm not sure, I haven't been answering my phone) since I've missed five or so days, and I've only really been snapped out of whatever's happening to me today, to reply to my mom, who said she was going to call the police today if I didn't answer her texts.   

​

I have no idea what's wrong with me. I think what started this was my OSDD1A (professionally diagnosed, though I do want a second opinion because what a horrible diagnosis, right?) starting to act up at work. My disorder takes the form of me as a child (he's around 10-12), who has very unstable emotions and suicidal tendencies. I started feeling ""switchy"" - I think people call it - at work at my retail job a few weeks ago, and the little guy was just so so angry. 

​

I usually can't remember anything at all when he's out, but lately me trying to force him to stay inside while I'm working (I think he maybe didn't like it because I work with dogs and other pets, obviously positive triggers that a kid wants to interact with) has created some overlap between the two of us and he can almost ""take control"" of certain parts of my body (like all of my sudden my hand would fly up and pinch me really hard in the eye), and will try to self harm his way to full control, if that's even possible. I don't know, I'm not a therapist. Anyway. 

​

I think I started really worrying that he was going to yell at or hit a customer at work and I would end up in jail or something. So I just stopped going. There were some other issues too, but idk how relevant they are. But now I haven't been more than a block from my house in two weeks; the one time I did catch a bus downtown to get more food I ended up freaking out and going back as quickly as I could. I haven't talked to any real life friends, like I mentioned I deleted all my social media, and I haven't showered, brushed my teeth, or taken my narcolepsy/other meds.  

​

I just kinda sleep and cry. I want to at least clean while I'm sitting here doing nothing but I can't even fucking do that. I think I only have a few more days worth of food, and I can't imagine I'll have enough money to pay my rent at the end of the month. I have no clue what to do. I have a dark feeling that I'm too far into this crap at this point and I don't think I'll be able to fix any of this. The only thing I can think of to do I don't want to do, yaknow? I guess I'm asking for advice, although I doubt I'll be able to take it. Sorry for posting, if you've actually read this. Have a great day.",2.460418146650256,3.690144400000001,4.2338491295938105,87.6350290135397,75.24793388429751,7.264638649551609,24.60787761561456,7.8428983058341695,1.1743958150167049,2242,71,490,32,47,759,271,605,0.146,0.7859999999999999,0.068,-0.9941,5,0,1,0,0,0,90.0,1,0,1,8,24,16,2,2,23,0,50,11,6,5,7,89,96,42,1,12,19,1,5,3,1,3,2,2,4,4,25,22,2,4,18,2,5,6,21,9,0,5,14,9,69,7,68,75,18,73,0,2,1,1,31,33,2,15,33,315,94,11,0.11743248863763438,0.0,0.057298584535095676,0.0,0.0,0.05737683439207378,0.05204840785317389,0.0,0.05879583714137609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544761047522027,0.2853866546422689,0.07985811920521432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048318466126138535,0.05226990601044108,0.05489176232773831,0.0,0.0,0.045149167543706716,0.0,0.07158575510454931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652205108084413,0.0,0.0,0.1199117006383675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317105214942946,0.04688014330429127,0.0,0.06449703728179397,0.11360136033582025,0.0,0.0,0.05959575201636631,0.0,0.0,0.06729390292621001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604787186824332,0.15601549368550244,0.060669576222801634,0.0,0.07756305121297981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906609206001002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199983139584113,0.0,0.0453640247087766,0.054282221731790564,0.0306768142329684,0.0,0.13347917905106052,0.0,0.0,0.06473486664804774,0.06468256284509423,0.058138313230410514,0.05192258093775532,0.0,0.0525982218639251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032519876501464,0.0,0.06628349287012246,0.0,0.0612845041096529,0.11653362484259755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453782463034909,0.0,0.06623448109121076,0.06217202477722961,0.06379537125380709,0.0,0.04147301980802096,0.08605737330634118,0.058849102118307975,0.0,0.0519620285296984,0.0,0.0,0.06409571673577504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898835941788905,0.0,0.0652205108084413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876775569932346,0.0468667460296334,0.0,0.04316319555199098,0.043537351171572654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05633982000977152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039787646738777285,0.1339690489792882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358397074104034,0.0,0.040706450746037307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101165929732816,0.06619374319164274,0.0562339313883799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174642675368269,0.06683194065661535,0.15046051850399156,0.0,0.05797520768433725,0.0,0.0665140587654543,0.10028670365632296,0.05585259423185039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061253848361589314,0.0,0.0,0.0971413681149048,0.0,0.05875864848825192,0.11970763354405844,0.0,0.045202633492779226,0.0,0.06572802834519031,0.1662386397588391,0.06258370399896214,0.0,0.04908940938991155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422604125270055,0.0,0.05533936539227652,0.0,0.13244192520295245,0.04719389305166055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817408520828226,0.039008463697090115,0.26336098951025544,0.057688411924582225,0.0,0.034237914245831134,0.0,0.11131226820799033,0.0,0.0,0.07972895131394883,0.0,0.11471447779099088,0.0,0.07062841237505725,0.050711982891929866,0.0646676477486626,0.04844705082558515,0.13852944873868742,0.0466062217240679,0.14129588844988605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137306258559682,0.05962919626008355,0.0,0.08342067062547652,0.06419699573217306,0.2853866546422689,0.0
mentalhealth,CBD212,2019/04/17,"Should I go see a doctor? I watched a video not so long ago about this skater/bmxer going on about he has mental healthy issues and what hit me the most is what he said.. he said in the video that when he was a kid he would say to himself if he doesn’t do this trick he wouldn’t get something, for example; if I do this backflip I’ll get scouted by a bmx team.

I used to do that when I played football in my garden, if I hit this top corner I will play for Man Utd etc, but sometimes I will say on PS4 if I don’t win this fifa game I’m going to die, so I’ll play my best.


I don’t know if this means anything but would it be best to get checked out?

I have anxiety but it’s not that bad only had few panic attacks and went and seen a doctor and my hearts all good etc etc

Is it worth going to see someone about this?",1.7974779319041616,2.3073470327868897,3.37650273224044,95.92725094577557,75.93989071038251,6.067927700714586,21.727196300966792,5.369823440869387,-0.1587701555275327,629,14,159,2,13,209,99,183,0.086,0.725,0.19,0.9654,0,0,1,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,7,11,2,1,7,0,19,3,1,1,1,24,38,16,1,9,10,0,0,0,0,6,2,4,1,2,15,5,0,0,2,8,2,5,6,4,0,0,6,8,16,7,16,23,8,16,0,0,4,0,16,7,0,6,4,99,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891030172335935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026195680281899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11038884036716393,0.0,0.0,0.15260783134629705,0.0,0.0,0.11200439143897936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815510871659308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921998841147196,0.0,0.0,0.2746035347757754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488170748939269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21025364963961776,0.0,0.3049478381648526,0.11251337630362272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15896093765043218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400111775791986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073721872732521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187129586759773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14612182155940667,0.0,0.0,0.13518530485081934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202233326494377,0.0,0.15738873627697395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552027662739235,0.2133529185103045,0.0,0.0,0.21379033229579655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11365952689804687,0.10327037865364866,0.13267155541628242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585709218387748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12435255951831765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058368013913235,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,im_just_t,2019/04/17,"I can't imagine anyone loving me. Ever I cannot imagine anyone loving me. I don't feel like there's a person who would get to know me and think that I'm interesting or good enough to be worthy of love and affection. And I lie to myself everyday that I don't need those to be happy, but I end up crying in the end. I want to be happy, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to need love from others, but I don't know how to achieve it. Please, what to do?",1.9401098901098912,2.1087786153846197,4.386978021978024,90.07230769230769,75.34615384615384,7.096703296703296,20.62637362637363,6.868970318607317,0.18007582417582402,352,6,87,3,7,125,55,104,0.091,0.636,0.273,0.9568,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,2,0,13,4,0,2,1,22,28,8,0,5,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,0,7,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,14,9,13,24,1,6,0,0,0,4,6,2,0,1,5,61,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23013707065897335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18076827772522272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2915136702973238,0.1700409083319358,0.0,0.0,0.14885957786886744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320963124275113,0.11756614857273492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597906367019488,0.0,0.0,0.13803034708133247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.350367626780361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713238909468594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039874808603584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5941097956248838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440475506996649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369288561697888,0.0,0.1806443037326533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544739616881987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941308540523128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690312912952322,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OpeningWelder,2019/04/17,"Is it a mental illness to believe in aliens and demons? Delusions? 16M here

I'm learning in psychology class about delusions, and I think I might have some. I've kept it to myself because I know they are unusual and socially unacceptable. I actually believe all this and I don't know what evidence could convince me otherwise.

I saw Chinese lanterns when I was 8 and believed my neighbor who acted scared and said they were aliens. I've obsessively gone through a lot of books and websites about people who were abducted, and I have for what to do if they come.

To me, the worst thing I've found out is that there could be a type of alien that can move as invisible gas and enter people's minds. I feel strange at times like I'm detached from my body and start hyperventilating thinking an alien is taking control of me.

I read about things like the Notre Dame fire and immediately get suspicious it was the Greys.

As far as demons go, it's similar to aliens. Hell is a force that could take over my body at any moment. I have to pray repeatedly in my head when I think about something sinful. When I have the feeling of detachment that I mentioned before, I sometimes have a demon inside my head screaming that I should renounce God and commit the unpardonable sin. Unlike the other delusions, I know this part is my imagination, and I don't do it, but it takes a lot of deep breaths and prayer to get the voice to go away, and then I feel exhausted.

I promise I'm not trolling. I know the rules of logic, and people are going to say there's no proof of demons, but I can't just stop believing in it with a snap of the fingers. I feel the moment I let my guard down, they'll take over my body and use it to commit atrocities. And if I deny God's existence, I'll die and go straight to hell.",5.404896867838044,5.747062691876752,5.910064935064938,81.59288961038962,67.73949579831933,8.95589508530685,30.793099057804927,8.841846274778883,2.2635221288515406,1419,52,290,22,22,459,180,357,0.139,0.799,0.062,-0.9794,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,4,1,11,13,2,2,18,0,30,9,7,2,4,62,62,30,1,6,6,0,6,2,1,3,2,4,1,0,22,22,0,4,16,2,0,9,5,9,0,0,9,12,41,4,41,45,6,33,9,0,2,0,11,14,2,6,12,190,63,5,0.0,0.0,0.09669936098396016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738586266293572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093100064178746,0.0,0.0,0.06040547799155701,0.0,0.08431987422229911,0.4465703714682683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302061527031686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535886301754568,0.0,0.0,0.11113994670811957,0.2373503605966803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028417058766124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20041528675148465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086491096060665,0.0,0.0,0.10354281375082644,0.0,0.22526474996944004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033936722968064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21783317866175692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013281403157959,0.0,0.0968225547419846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848871127272347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998612880157555,0.1051208038821122,0.10005453047559568,0.0,0.0,0.10531896493894928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730682772303764,0.0,0.20609345625226708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911867545613473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09425905046935784,0.0788018241622895,0.09920823836607956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010116721253592,0.0,0.07628575485781164,0.0980043831061668,0.0,0.07013772838348377,0.0,0.0,0.08284523182552529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980189857166324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166445709192676,0.19048218780153955,0.0,0.0,0.057781260320097866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558355114122453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AdministrativeTutor5,2019/04/17,"Is my dad delusional or just stupid? For context, he's very controlling and treats me like a small child who can't do anything despite being 26.

I got fed up and left while he was at work, and he called me claiming that I was kidnapped by drug dealers and they're using my phone to pretend to be me. I'm worried he's going to call the police. I haven't done anything illegal, but I have a fear of being shot or arrested on false charges.",5.526593406593406,4.865264076923083,6.160747252747253,83.30925274725278,67.57142857142857,9.038241758241758,33.58461538461537,8.238735603445708,2.3907872527472525,345,14,73,4,5,113,68,91,0.177,0.782,0.041,-0.9079,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,1,3,0,11,2,0,2,0,10,16,8,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,0,9,2,9,8,0,7,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,2,2,43,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972416763483422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4929163609106938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27070865729947197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469977189597233,0.0,0.0,0.27990396561707026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716000056454231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717191659556846,0.0,0.1930397043688201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622411497290677,0.0,0.0,0.11791756504680954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20845977438883356,0.0,0.19914940629373404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571483308340335,0.2451154163278164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Fantastic-Mrs-Fox,2019/04/17,"General question: So I am currently in the middle of trying to find myself. I have run out of my current medication but am looking to try something else that I have heard good things about. But I am somewhat terrified of being okay. I have lived my whole life with the problems I have and I feel as if they have become a big part of my identity. Is there anyone here who feels as if they have overcome or mostly overcome their issues, and if so, do you ever feel like a part of you is missing? Did you have to relearn how to be yourself without that part of you?",4.014004424778761,5.0515504336283215,5.060342920353981,83.94060287610621,71.212389380531,7.419911504424777,29.169247787610626,7.6454224807358475,1.7765230088495576,441,17,87,5,8,145,71,113,0.099,0.8220000000000001,0.079,-0.514,2,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,3,0,7,5,0,0,4,1,16,2,0,1,1,22,22,13,0,4,7,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,5,18,3,17,18,6,8,0,1,1,0,10,4,0,7,4,79,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834688231410887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20272359018201325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15333779430765382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16603724612776544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784348488820228,0.13113270792733536,0.0,0.0,0.16776719744513485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539583749970932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915851616020593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965129305490442,0.08967637094930388,0.0,0.16208363826508215,0.0,0.15414112156171242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491373240301173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5963209861954688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563865696130496,0.0,0.0,0.2056251440688965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413106619424976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194669647458127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492454535409982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20493413274652306,0.0,0.17694179116141484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tsush,2019/04/17,"Looking for a pen pal. I know this might sound a bit crazy, but I know talking to someone about your mental health helps a lot. I'm in a situation where I feel embarrassed to talk about this to people face to face,.
So I'm writing here to see if anyone is willing to message on Reddit.",3.7472033898305055,4.417122322033901,4.962500000000002,85.75527542372883,71.54237288135593,7.255932203389831,28.309322033898304,7.1686216300943375,1.4008610169491522,223,8,47,2,4,74,42,59,0.08900000000000001,0.8490000000000001,0.061,-0.1406,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,0,3,3,2,0,0,8,10,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,11,8,2,3,0,0,2,0,7,3,0,3,0,30,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18705023549970914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920532337006751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526183396037486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28435217670970303,0.0,0.0,0.17930729534244275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940346090440027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246422551795647,0.0,0.0,0.2274286802945169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26958863622824386,0.28378738869584874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18545876622329674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21317200189032806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006940936976609,0.0,0.0,0.226661595242215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4300311630331575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tomq6s,2019/04/17,"If you guys wouldn't mind sparing a second to help me collect information for my uni project on exercise and mental health, that would be really appreciated. Thanks, Tom [https://forms.gle/auZD9ZCWfXSAYN5n7](https://forms.gle/auZD9ZCWfXSAYN5n7)

​

\^That's the link,

I'm researching the effect of urban exercise vs green exercise on mental health as I believe that these are underrated tools for helping people with mental health problems.

Obviously due to the subject matter you have to participate in some sport to be relevant to the research.

Any contributions are a big help so thank you!",13.293870967741938,14.347032580645163,10.442494623655918,53.323741935483895,51.15053763440861,13.031397849462365,41.18064516129033,12.340626583579946,5.618145806451612,502,21,64,13,5,148,69,93,0.027000000000000003,0.784,0.189,0.9361,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,3,0,1,1,3,0,0,6,0,7,6,0,1,1,14,10,4,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,6,2,13,6,1,5,0,0,1,0,8,4,0,2,1,41,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783359225319057,0.19999792272631,0.11192855513088423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854394025224753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629724682321775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5248624440686306,0.0,0.0,0.3309686824337186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4976116312566168,0.0,0.16619152130543569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141077265995256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574928092943372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544218050715014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030693504219062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692180111536254,0.0,0.19999792272631,0.0
mentalhealth,Alienkushbitch,2019/04/17,Why did my psychosis go away and then come back again? Can schizophrenia go away and come back or just psychosis? I saw and heard things that defied reality when I was very little. All throughout my life these symptoms have come and gone. They were gone for a very long time. Two years ago I started hearing and seeing things that aren't there. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia shortly after? Can schizophrenia go away and come back or just psychosis? I'm very confused as to what is going on.,4.005785024154587,6.677623467391302,3.018405797101451,91.62900966183577,75.19565217391305,4.958454106280193,25.439613526570053,5.82211442006289,0.6338294685990342,397,14,73,2,9,114,60,92,0.041,0.959,0.0,-0.5504,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,1,0,9,3,0,0,1,17,25,11,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,11,0,0,0,0,0,10,1,1,0,1,8,4,7,0,9,17,1,28,0,0,2,0,3,6,0,3,12,51,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753376646538986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055171830276881,0.33188585167882684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4957316407553902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460269590075669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270628853261234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215409757101568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162098402185994,0.0,0.14419744917896662,0.0,0.12732211195141052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464728419831285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183327759196303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953800086999022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19116420672664095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389286704038165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054194954498742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561281768708481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982201989740058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264879227656632
mentalhealth,smileygonzo,2019/04/17,"Life long unhappiness? Rather not sound ungrateful for the life I had, but I feel it's quite unfullfillling at times...Long as I could recollect, I had a ""blunted emotional response""...To clarify, imagine this: it's almost Christmas and so you beg your parents to purchase the gift that you are so eager to get.  They are hesitent but comply...Hence, you unwrap it on Christmas Day, play with it for 10 mins, then get bored.

You feel guilt for being ungrateful...for wasting their money. All you wanted was to have some fun; why are you bored already!? You grew and matured, less and less stimulates you...You lose interest in previous activities that gave you an inkling of joy. Now you only do the necessities: wake up, go to school, act happy, home, rinse and repeat with the ocasional short bursts of fun you can salvage, like dating. 

Is this normal? If not, what can I do to cope, thank you.",3.9090909090909065,6.276088393939396,4.504848484848488,82.35727272727277,74.15151515151516,8.036363636363637,26.75757575757576,8.841846274778883,2.2303212121212126,695,26,128,15,15,221,110,165,0.086,0.675,0.239,0.9864,1,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,12,2,2,4,13,0,1,6,0,14,3,1,1,1,23,22,11,0,5,6,1,2,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,9,6,0,0,4,1,2,3,2,4,0,0,4,3,19,9,17,16,4,15,0,1,0,0,16,5,0,3,8,83,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21030542874965846,0.0,0.23176310365649574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768446741812407,0.0,0.0,0.1354459995442798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23624505894616354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21238558814629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21945433158559333,0.0,0.11935962367534342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235709778116861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106679213286486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966877124751759,0.10260552260268356,0.0,0.0,0.3717234831562583,0.0,0.23495948133031944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20577572875350772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973023292463776,0.0,0.0,0.23320317202733204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233829037201804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125521963722366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335887568543209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387567099942495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895110467734752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AnonymousBlobymous,2019/04/17,"I'm depressed and don't know what to do. I wasn't sure if I should post here or not, but right now I'm at my worst, and can't take this mental state anymore.  
I'm 15, and have been depressed for a few good years now. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, thought it was just some kind of emotional teen phase, but it started getting worse in the past months.  
I lost motivation in doing things, barely get out of the house (Although I'm trying to change that in the best way I can), I'm scared to start new connections with people, and when I do have a strong connection with someone, I get really attached to them and scared of hurting them or letting them go. I stopped doing certain things out of a fear of being judged or hated.  
I'm scared of talking about it with friends because I'm afraid of putting them down or making them sad, and I can't talk to my family about it in depth because I don't trust them as much as I used to.  
I'm heavily considering to reach out and get a therapist soon, but I'm not sure if it'll be enough.",7.026575342465755,4.702967296803653,7.1756575342465805,82.62293835616441,65.5296803652968,10.586484018264839,33.77214611872146,8.841846274778883,2.432798721461187,814,26,186,10,10,264,118,219,0.235,0.653,0.112,-0.9867,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,6,5,8,21,1,5,7,0,20,0,0,3,3,37,43,20,0,3,12,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,11,13,0,1,4,0,1,2,8,12,0,1,6,0,19,9,33,32,7,29,0,5,0,0,9,12,0,7,12,122,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12618790496767485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551286649039764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13353054618610988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460306497904534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191832778135968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431278914038913,0.0,0.13147294941553445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995056254559452,0.14318039227177012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823029218693683,0.0,0.0,0.0983053203457274,0.0,0.2659106258510507,0.0,0.07231343305811523,0.10672288814293758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562317272822413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468178943198852,0.1362130682374089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250089592608275,0.06992778490700569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011153662743355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889750759438935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849336983836967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822800845678986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015617664345728,0.0,0.1870721036382304,0.0,0.0,0.1228891998562884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214649923062295,0.08821220573827454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218607624637154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791135950941465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151321209853707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086622780126086,0.0,0.0,0.3821683581584224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781005222690927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012227574870496,0.0,0.0,0.1063783503919169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23984441757719505,0.0,0.09566865644354354,0.2045414093916539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773546502324536,0.169065224902552,0.0,0.0,0.10101435946236184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638761827310115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989452006434766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099720177169558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966844621700704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193839825666792
mentalhealth,gunpas11,2019/04/17,"Will tell about my problems I have been holding in for 10 years to a psychologist. How to prepare? Hey,

​

I decided it is enough. I need to tell about my problems to a psychologist. I have been holding in for 10 years. But I feel ashamed and deep down embarrassed. And it won't make it easier I  have been holding it in for 10 years. ANd on top of that just tell a random person about it. Any tips for the first meeting regarding this?",2.031275252525252,4.358545738636362,3.241515151515152,89.23782828282829,80.25,6.638383838383841,25.68686868686868,7.793537801064563,1.4671171717171725,347,14,72,6,9,112,50,88,0.156,0.823,0.021,-0.8977,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,2,4,0,9,0,0,2,0,16,12,5,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,3,1,8,0,17,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,4,53,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275928822880017,0.2552379971385204,0.14284358479717918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21704141900764495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062093623069508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17867140199023512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402123440655598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575201058617058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834106163131743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40198566725130747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5507880592182945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552379971385204,0.4058027063643126
mentalhealth,kehoe000,2019/04/17,"I think I figured it out. The reason why people with depression don’t ask for help or say anything is that the convo goes like this:

Me:  Y’all...I’m in a bad state and I know there’s nothing you can do or say to make me feel better, but I think you should know so that you check on me more often. 

Friends: Oh no!  We love you so much, there’s X, Y, and Z to look forward to, here is the list of all the things that should make you happy...

Me:  Yep. But that doesn’t help me - I have that list. I refer to it often.  Just check on me more often to remind me that you care. That’s what I need. 

Friends: Well, we love you so much!

Me:  Thank you. 

<Weeks later>

Friends: 

Me:  ...😕",-1.672272727272727,0.25839561111111564,0.1557828282828293,105.60386363636364,99.83333333333334,2.8959595959595963,13.48989898989899,4.347061598140703,-1.652197222222222,504,10,128,1,22,161,81,144,0.044,0.67,0.287,0.9923,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,2,8,0,1,11,13,0,0,5,1,9,2,0,3,1,28,23,9,0,3,5,0,1,1,3,2,0,2,0,0,12,6,0,0,8,0,2,1,3,2,1,0,0,4,26,11,12,21,5,6,0,1,1,2,20,5,0,5,2,87,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226436003977969,0.0,0.16161815688902667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434641234306458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289707550392134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17626125749159666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148900087423974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741261608679886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40069673945206097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184032487535285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317537669040159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900191180619726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445975297981077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517448591327362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120593776389837,0.0,0.23079561982514274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254171329712556,0.12818729357181122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588168211967752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985225585923655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777479967526729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749600078552537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591633906498753,0.0,0.0,0.11485286204065605,0.22154725651330465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867278743285705,0.0,0.15543862596333288,0.0,0.1559960496416248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yxxngbrxxt,2019/04/17,https://discord.gg/eDFg8e3 [https://discord.gg/eDFg8e3](https://discord.gg/eDFg8e3) if your in need of mental support help etc i am here for you to talk,17.871666666666666,24.357286166666675,8.89777777777778,47.30000000000004,48.444444444444464,8.044444444444443,25.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.398133333333334,133,3,14,2,2,32,18,18,0.0,0.735,0.265,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4894401854311956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941557693024476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4422633922031273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254059898066875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980083226402283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35273564119201384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Cherrypicker88,2019/04/17,"Please help. I don't know why they happen but I'm laying in bed watching YouTube videos and all of a sudden I'm hit with a panic attack. For literally no reason my heart feels like it's going to stop or burst, I feel like throwing up but can't and breathing just feels wrong and shallow. Breathing in and out only really calms it a bit but doesn't get rid of it unless I still completely still and just...idk. does anyone have any advice? I hate how terrifying these are and can't seem to prevent them. Can anyone help me with this? Please.",2.3533636363636394,4.333955790909093,3.503636363636364,89.53545454545456,77.45454545454545,5.854545454545455,20.090909090909093,6.742157984588678,0.23092727272727265,427,10,88,4,10,138,76,110,0.23,0.616,0.153,-0.9191,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,0,4,7,2,1,3,0,7,3,3,2,1,25,19,12,0,0,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,9,0,2,6,1,0,2,5,4,0,0,0,4,8,3,12,18,2,10,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,6,51,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957261117074593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800711855483255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24267400080198476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19741671133735467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18945104901888796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819440874952167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518582606494498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26322765899187256,0.24794134687934244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066285282206103,0.0,0.0986217398033319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345300453794067,0.0,0.0,0.17132606391561142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563522373134133,0.2326285161710012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09536817042802724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169557088752737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319782434390613,0.0,0.2036013908541551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809701390859568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111168484943249,0.17841890248138928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579762227344102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771643680244653,0.14507979429807946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658485314587647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897290485082191,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,jazzybluecat,2019/04/17,"How to get over shame? I used to work as a cashier at this one store. I offered to help a customer, and unfortunately, she started to scream in my face. She kept implying that I was lazy, even though I told her that I was ill. I was left speechless by her random explosion. I feel like everyone took my silence as an admission of guilt.  

She just kept screaming the same thing over and over. Literally, repeating the same four phrases. She kept saying that she wants them to send me home. I just stood there stupidly, on the verge of tears. I had a freeze reaction.

Her friends, who were next to us at the other till, getting help from the cashier in training, wouldn’t even look at us. The second the other cashier finished their transaction, they left without a word. 

The woman continued to scream in my face, increasing in aggressiveness. She just continued to repeat herself. I didn’t know what to make of all of this.

When she finally left, I was left speechless. My coworker looked sympathetic, but I just... I just didn’t know what to say or do.

I didn’t report this, which I deeply regret, because I ended up developing PTSD from the incident. I just wish I defended myself like any person with three brain cells would do. I made myself look bad.",3.257743533296648,5.715593016877638,3.8135057787561912,86.07482113373695,76.63713080168776,7.3284901852871025,26.338103100348558,8.321376580360154,1.857211851036508,983,38,190,19,23,309,135,237,0.122,0.8029999999999999,0.075,-0.8458,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,2,0,3,1,12,12,2,2,14,0,13,4,3,4,1,32,33,10,0,5,9,0,2,2,1,2,1,5,1,2,13,3,0,3,3,0,1,4,5,9,0,4,16,10,42,3,34,15,4,32,0,1,3,0,29,17,0,2,13,139,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644275640092547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613595782551524,0.07748830115040845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190270357110704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258641742504599,0.0,0.0,0.16791690083475785,0.0,0.0,0.12146410732692428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427331018353641,0.0908111888184506,0.0,0.1392485872222671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982089579943499,0.0,0.13282498542609214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040539928050907,0.0,0.1275070005592901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971847843876206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.552444539559291,0.0,0.0,0.1242042200385777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32023448724749104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027956123979867,0.08485044336902754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518855336918711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08613661050463685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099216846045172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14859097201658986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217436182667076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997285676217277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844497505952214,0.0,0.12489012736045747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146410732692428,0.14122976474695706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058080859746839,0.10978679756957667,0.0,0.0,0.0749758916867338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461763105612856,0.12253460376901565,0.0,0.09254144530405344,0.0,0.0,0.09029905514239883,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,popsiclesand,2019/04/17,never felt like i fit in been lying in bed all day. wish people were reliable. or myself.,-0.375,1.8074115000000008,2.483333333333338,87.94500000000002,100.66666666666666,4.622222222222223,11.555555555555555,6.42735559955562,-0.4379111111111116,69,1,13,1,3,24,17,18,0.327,0.557,0.116,-0.602,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,4,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,2,1,2,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3234971112656838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4816244988174087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450614287136822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38687274473805255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34775338571548003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5768270272800269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,briefcasefattered,2019/04/17,"Unable to feel sad Not sure if this is correct place for this, if not please direct me elsewhere!

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Throwaway account just incase.

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This seems like a weird one and something people may think they want but I feel like it's getting worse. Over a decade ago my cat died when I was around 10 years old, she wasn't even one year old yet, I was devestated and wouldn't eat for days. Ever since then I have been unable to get sad, or at least as sad as I should be. A couple of years later my grandmother got put into a home for dementia and this did make me sad, but not very. Follow on a few years later and she passed away, I hate myself for saying this but it didn't make me sad at all, I pretened to be for my family because they would think I was a horrible person if I didn't. A couple of more years down the line another one of my cats die, I wasn't very sad, I put this down to the fact the cat wouldn't really come near me or my sister as it was scared of people from it's life before we adopted it. Now for the reason I posted this, my personal cat; the brother of the cat that died a decade ago, has just been given a couple of weeks to live. He has been my best friend, he loves people and I couldn't think of a better friend. And I felt nothing. What is wrong with me? It had been like this since my firest cat died.",3.8403546099290766,4.0786052340425565,4.579574468085107,90.13333333333334,71.12765957446808,7.401418439716313,22.40425531914893,6.937597516519254,0.41907659574468026,1044,19,237,8,18,336,139,282,0.212,0.688,0.1,-0.99,0,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,2,2,8,19,1,1,16,0,27,3,0,3,5,46,45,19,4,9,13,2,3,3,2,5,1,1,1,2,16,11,1,0,8,0,1,5,10,10,0,3,17,4,33,9,33,20,5,35,0,6,0,1,15,11,0,7,21,158,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835727067690494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935608746896165,0.21707221018292067,0.0,0.09366198996712503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951558938845668,0.0,0.0,0.08392103531561412,0.0,0.0,0.05444991146357647,0.0,0.07600651197008676,0.0,0.09373801317786397,0.07899812188069283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694306358417598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964995507727557,0.0,0.057605352753895035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37080887137602986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139878805022572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899639202273645,0.08079693596639304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420490841788192,0.0,0.09032785587004956,0.06381171244764985,0.08576320524392207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380200362721274,0.0,0.09333420128237553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143902782903555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818706248854004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895973300274495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309082731266417,0.13091477069634036,0.0,0.07887303389762683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061666538581155,0.0,0.1192463652060439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570694566050442,0.0,0.1874569966420667,0.0,0.1815808610894546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18577405260706487,0.15598519147016054,0.09332256331242653,0.0980488219188572,0.0,0.0,0.08554586260560466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179586724472475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572220122518866,0.09183797574438576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103250386338654,0.08942698535131953,0.0,0.0,0.08131546775536178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147776296711051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876450176456711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418500417182781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170194833375627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740014262736234,0.052684477574507185,0.0,0.07164878547906098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102683144351076,0.06345184350092453,0.09765967345708078,0.21707221018292067,0.28760245782457416
mentalhealth,T0ta11yAThr0waway,2019/04/17,"Anyone else ever not kill themselves for mundane reasons? I spend a lot of time suicidal, and I've noticed that sometimes I use the most mundane things to convince myself to keep living.  
For example, this week I've been telling myself that if I was going to kill myself, I'd first have to clean up my apartment, delete my porn (lol), etc, and that's really just too much work.
Does anyone else ever find themselves deciding to live for the simplest or most mundane reasons?

(P.S: Not looking for suicidal hotlines or any of that shit.  I have no serious plans to kill myself, I just grapple worth suicidal ideations a lot.  
Would love to get treatment for my mental health, but I live in America and can't afford insurance or healthcare of any form.)",7.303857142857139,7.455862100000001,6.996428571428571,76.07107142857146,63.71428571428571,9.571428571428571,36.785714285714285,9.188382445141503,3.413857142857143,594,27,102,9,8,187,87,140,0.094,0.802,0.105,0.1449,1,0,0,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,0,3,5,7,4,0,4,1,6,4,1,3,2,25,12,8,6,2,9,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,6,3,0,1,4,0,2,1,4,5,0,1,2,1,13,2,17,9,7,9,0,0,1,2,2,3,1,8,5,70,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633449227768807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710280583354706,0.25061874964156305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702433460216307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432958523838604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136395274294449,0.0,0.22125218240286576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177871060865964,0.10402713211372494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389597414666609,0.0,0.06950511638036135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299976996452398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870462063538627,0.4059158637527161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239757301534994,0.0,0.1027000276712349,0.0,0.0,0.2079478034157846,0.11037926711769984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324823029558747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990354755004294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392377739575769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834761888420796,0.2514866723331997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255377619746965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095644888077248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.401324476550266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689437250865534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124975980106036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07131330088169037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562672913755757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981005651028074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890348420167243,0.0,0.0,0.08687742105656096,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,InterestingDead,2019/04/17,"First time seeing a therapist Hi guys! This is my first post here. I've booked a therapist appointment for Friday. I've wanted to go for quite a while(a few years maybe), because I had pretty bad panic attacks and was feeling quite depressed. I just couldn't afford it. 

The thing is, I am okay right now. I feel pretty good about my life, but I know I won't have the time or money in the future to go. I still feel like I have some unresolved issues, but I'm sort of coping. Something I would definitely like to discuss about is cigarettes, since I've been a smoker for a while. I've successfully stopped a few times for months, but I feel some emotional attachment does not let me give them up completely. There are definitely things I would like to talk about, but I'm pretty much handling everything right now quite good.

Is this normal? Should I feel bad for using my therapist's time when he could be helping someone with bigger issues? Please tell me what you think, I've been overthinking this quite a lot. 

Thanks you for reading :)",4.641866666666669,6.205136120000006,4.832000000000002,84.16766666666669,70.3,8.133333333333335,26.333333333333336,8.648137234880735,1.7952833333333342,824,26,159,14,15,258,118,200,0.071,0.667,0.261,0.9911,1,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,1,7,10,13,1,1,10,1,20,1,0,1,0,30,36,8,0,7,7,0,5,3,0,4,1,0,0,1,7,2,0,1,7,2,1,2,3,5,0,2,4,6,20,8,17,24,6,23,0,1,1,0,11,5,0,6,18,97,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232547861551256,0.0,0.0,0.16487943986143072,0.06018802652394671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352191853829086,0.0,0.0,0.07883197724251677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.085040433673662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640378868443402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106374607770064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873677972175392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496172738772292,0.07053640562678959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679681237732326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947157456593488,0.11222691382365968,0.1656287063705574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776331432584393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618008486088063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061076734314868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054262252245243364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096337285505383,0.06973955118829778,0.14471101016056973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394108746631974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991927216822046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880944886319666,0.0,0.07258169044797667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673947632674723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584441620748286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838153700656693,0.0,0.0,0.09456097373021956,0.3013474079534904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.420067910965813,0.09876186176700973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16863854466158598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867912539823113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167473028863527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365796594714286,0.07601113656319422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788500124498409,0.08254700031004099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935956762943007,0.08629886659072357,0.09090205385370774,0.0,0.34391733182970624,0.1311904830356209,0.06326549265030186,0.0,0.0,0.230293022710239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527546205033841,0.0,0.0,0.05823654526556753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14027722495679928,0.0,0.0,0.06358219469824915
mentalhealth,phoonwannabe,2019/04/17,"Uncomfortable thoughts Hello, I just want to say before I start that I have not nor ever acted violently towards another individual. Ok well, I often have thoughts of killing other people or myself, I will think out plans and play it like a movie over and over in my head. I’m a kind person and I’m not sure why I have these thoughts. Does this make me a bad person? My therapist asks me every time we meet if I’ve heard voices in my head or have wanted to hurt people, I always say no but it’s a lie. I don’t ever have the desire to act on my urges but I don’t want to get in trouble for this, it makes me feel awful. everyday I visualize myself slaughtering my family and other random people I see. I don’t enjoy picturing my parents and siblings as mangled grotesque corpses. Thank you for reading all the way through, I appreciate it.",1.9904107205012167,4.2552764852071014,4.0669404803341465,83.61097807170206,80.00591715976331,6.580020884093282,23.550643926209545,7.724431198458867,1.3157445875391582,662,23,129,11,17,226,105,169,0.113,0.7240000000000001,0.163,0.7583,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,0,1,5,13,2,0,6,2,9,2,2,2,4,32,27,12,2,5,8,1,1,1,0,1,0,4,0,2,10,7,0,0,5,2,0,2,7,5,1,0,4,6,26,8,17,22,1,16,0,1,1,0,11,8,0,5,6,88,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11996735967080065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511828434573784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478664586054764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038232050303888,0.0,0.0,0.12268456611853147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261708384117278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608338884606333,0.12147589355950104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359178626479303,0.0,0.07290055495636784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532687457657883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959357407389178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434516276243396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15951121473036706,0.15013884212809353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043792005483529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247940995204632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009222477626753,0.0,0.0,0.2998638991504951,0.2517807361554005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421667257852144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22931171792812216,0.0,0.0,0.11489092513352572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204968703560396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588573456143127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13273941481846793,0.0,0.16740137117427015,0.0,0.09238322036285454,0.0,0.34338286232684817,0.08407115069294559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551191511703785,0.11444151246070827,0.0,0.0,0.12963302783582467,0.0,0.13009790919177164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I_lb_ass,2019/04/17,"My school will never be the same. We lost a Warrior. I don’t even know where to start. I’ve never personally met or knew the victim but this event hits me extremely hard because I know exactly what she went through. One of the students of my freshman class took her life yesterday and the news was presented to the school this morning. I saw all the faces of everyone on campus and it just seems like there is a dark cloud over everyone today. I saw the way the passing of child effected everyone from the students to the teachers. I’ve suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder and suicidal thoughts for a while now and but I’ve seeked help with my mental health issues and I want everyone to know what there is a brighter side to everything no matter what you are going through and that there is always hope, and the rode to the brighter side is a lot clearer with the help and guidance of another person weather it’s a family member(s), phycologist/therapist, or a close friend(s). I didn’t know where to go so I just took to reddit to spill all of my feelings. Thank you for everyone that listened and just know that you are not alone.",5.570273972602738,6.7660193607305965,5.729570776255709,79.98860273972605,67.7214611872146,9.49296803652968,32.86484018264839,9.725611199111238,3.1339738812785387,916,40,172,20,15,290,125,219,0.095,0.78,0.125,0.7023,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,3,0,2,11,6,1,0,20,0,11,3,1,1,5,42,35,15,1,2,8,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,4,10,13,0,0,10,0,0,7,6,3,0,1,11,5,18,3,25,21,4,24,0,2,2,0,14,7,0,5,10,118,28,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919550671961457,0.0,0.0,0.09576167022427427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067883829785825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015601593722298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189976467452527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07601393111087883,0.0,0.0,0.5498531857659229,0.10343284689522653,0.0,0.108493856797344,0.0,0.058191485767919535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891599273619326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081327980849264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030954185219068,0.0,0.0,0.12233218461999452,0.0,0.0,0.15428088795632636,0.0,0.0,0.11430743854854357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012101124706533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162442476654642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128940832898687,0.0562257341503923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563114318639054,0.09784292009860036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159807081490884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752450240619905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798598407276887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014687981468546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329485388926773,0.0,0.10477095551576847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814592277700387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588658643408934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105956721082219,0.0,0.13362497053757827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09136628638835367,0.0,0.0,0.1090890953235461,0.0,0.2557319615812881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788134175082859,0.09135076746126727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668687642493216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway244466,2019/04/17,"Help and advice please I’m a 16 year old boy and I’ve been feeling very depressed on and off for about 2 years. The other day, my parents found out that I had been smoking weed and it forced me to open up about how I’ve been feeling because my dad said he would call the police on me. I told them about how I’ve been feeling suicidal and struggling with my work (my GCSEs are just weeks away now) and motivation for life in general. I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping and I’m writing this on about 4 hours sleep. In the few days since I told my parents about everything, my dad has really been on my back about work and revision. He’s been trying to wake me up early to do exercise etc. and is doing his best to help me be positive. But he’s also being really unhelpful and causing arguments and a general bad atmosphere in the house as he nags me to revise and forces me by taking my phone and anything else that might distract me even when I’m really struggling. I’m getting good grades at the moment and I didn’t revise for my mock exams and still got 7s,8s and 9s (equivalent to A, A* and A**). My mum, on the other hand, is just upset all the time and treats me like a junkie, when I told them I had only smoked weed like twice. I have smoked it more in order to deal with my constant anxiety and insomnia (as well as just an escape from reality) but I can’t get the courage to tell them the truth after how they reacted. I feel so so guilty for what I’ve put the family through, as there was a similar situation this time last year when I opened up about going through a tough time. Last year I said I was struggling and they were crying and everything and just made me  feel awful about myself, which isn’t really their fault but still hard for me. For this reason, I never told them about how I was feeling until I was forced to with the police threat from dad. I just need some advice on how to deal with all of this as everything feels like 100x worse since I opened up to them.

Edit: also, another thing making me feel guilty is that my dad’s 2 best and closest friends are not doing well medically. One has a couple of months left. So right now, I’m the worst thing for my dad to have to deal with.",5.331868131868131,4.99407832967033,5.991483516483519,83.27601648351651,67.9010989010989,9.373626373626372,27.82967032967033,8.950670267944501,1.8655054945054943,1740,47,372,27,26,569,208,455,0.15,0.746,0.104,-0.9808,2,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,8,5,36,26,3,5,23,1,34,8,4,11,4,73,62,45,1,2,9,8,10,3,1,2,4,2,0,1,15,32,0,0,11,1,0,2,5,14,2,2,24,12,51,12,67,34,10,56,0,1,0,0,38,24,0,3,32,257,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537295460785362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258073255191553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824809364441061,0.06017400472233295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472974627725829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390282421524788,0.060484001129179,0.0656770722082921,0.047949864063221416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650957685189891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031974708937623,0.0,0.0,0.08080457478973692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500255498071886,0.0,0.0,0.08703481035575363,0.08640334003953275,0.10145723875826322,0.2432822690248192,0.067748977164206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657095940404425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772570151764128,0.0519536010559552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208121137049948,0.0,0.07415280950078965,0.0,0.3181792802721773,0.05619408471495812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624565535147499,0.06077183414408716,0.0,0.08219227807069965,0.0,0.044703785560557714,0.0659755304676392,0.06291087682488489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046311335708995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544708826793413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746337980116423,0.09076205328066936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12823534814096008,0.0,0.0,0.08546335440661976,0.0,0.05555925642417416,0.11528660543289347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687316341444788,0.0,0.07442915285802293,0.0525055674836858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924077911494011,0.0,0.08344488652284754,0.0,0.0,0.06278495205992818,0.0,0.0,0.05832473422402928,0.06066675569123841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253950525428874,0.0,0.05330144942198435,0.05982379853695863,0.0,0.0,0.17468326848462154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634408314351742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907413248756792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015641631107057,0.08087466690796119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717445112713016,0.1496456548979139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013525915099342,0.08841613660846527,0.1574318356178792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563453552838855,0.0,0.0,0.2466947450614415,0.0,0.08604030069636384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05914186232980801,0.0,0.068751530176669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045152365220611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376002807959349,0.0,0.0,0.3006486062241336,0.0,0.05340437314412141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490200453869788,0.0,0.0,0.06309559431173828,0.0,0.1414479749879564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452953947023045,0.0,0.08016035428711091,0.055877175713414606,0.0,0.0,0.20261555453454388
mentalhealth,rvazquez13,2019/04/17,"Any good book recommendations about Mental Health experiences? Such as memoirs, personal experiences, observations, even fictional. For example, Speak, Prozac Nation, The Three Faces of Eve, Girl, Interrupted.",12.001309523809526,16.93822032142858,10.38571428571429,37.22595238095241,60.07142857142858,15.161904761904767,41.476190476190474,12.45797560212912,8.39767619047619,171,9,17,8,3,53,27,28,0.071,0.836,0.093,0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,8,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23551180391542945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287433549669796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6775415248732372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904796564272826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.368125604365865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490125547482933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023962550820089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,__mariya__,2019/04/17,"I don't know what is happening to my life. First time posting, long time reader. So backstory, I was in a mentally abusive and financial abusive relationship for almost a year until he decided to break up with me after I called him entitled while he cheated on me, never got a good paying job that forced me to pay for almost all of our dates (even ones he decided to take me out too) and everything else and would talk to girls behind my back.
It left me devastated and so depressed.

Than a month or so later I met a guy who was really sweat and we started dating. It was super rocky, but we made it work until up until now I called it off cus he wanted to talk to his therapist to me cus I just wasn't about wanting to be a big part in his friends life and make an effort (to be fair I know that's not good, but he knew from the beginning. I just lost a lost of interest in trying to meet new people.) 
And when he called me after his therapist apt saying that his therapist said we shouldn't have a serious relationship and that he still wants me to be in his life, I just lost it? I was so mean, I deleted all his photos, called him names to his face and and on fb posts, and just freaked out. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop.

After all that I started cutting again after not doing it for 6ish years.

To make matters worse we planned a trip together to go to Tokyo and Vietnam for 3 weeks and I bought my return ticket to Austin cus that's where he lives, but I live in Oklahoma City. We have to talk about what we are even going to do, but I can stand to look at him with out breaking down crying and getting incredibly angry with myself.

Now I also have my friend who has PTSD and depression texting me that he is going to buy a gun and kill himself.

I have no emotions anymore, I just go through my day, i fake pretend at work, but it's taking a toll on my school/work. I cry a lot.

Today I just removed myself from social media, but no one knows me on here (I hope) and I just don't know any more. I don't know what I'm doing.

I see a therapist tomorrow, I started new medication a week ago for my depressions all of this is happening in a span of like 3 days apart. It will be a week tomorrow when this all happened.

I just wanted to get this off my chest, did I feel like I have no support, my family is no help since they don't understand, I don't want to burden my friends so I haven't really told anyone, I just don't know what to do? I want to throw my phone away and just let everything fix it's self, but I know it won't.",4.578892633606159,4.164457000000001,5.859195955705348,83.85099422243624,69.48507462686567,9.304188733750602,27.924650938854114,8.933256019334266,1.860009099662976,1976,57,441,32,31,668,240,536,0.163,0.7509999999999999,0.085,-0.9927,1,0,0,1,0,0,51.0,7,0,1,9,30,25,3,0,18,0,40,7,3,3,6,90,89,39,1,10,21,0,1,2,3,4,4,2,0,3,27,30,0,1,14,2,4,7,18,14,0,3,18,5,78,11,72,61,8,81,0,6,2,0,54,26,0,5,45,309,105,5,0.0,0.15993740589747182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059828872082853736,0.0,0.13516988374587466,0.0,0.0,0.053974488464030176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04589786120051994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693536746492873,0.047192990313584066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06341231906178317,0.05189829777771083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27567343919408144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827677358127658,0.08705538473777423,0.0,0.17439603161308026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638211782782016,0.07592104812306723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08915757581803199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213175237008136,0.0,0.0636268189385586,0.0,0.03412671683003314,0.04821733495530725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057409895030946165,0.0,0.0,0.15643581869715012,0.0,0.07052508502589341,0.0,0.15343233460086048,0.11322060916370627,0.05398067849283967,0.0,0.0,0.06682912789930817,0.17905270773506393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045239437574854165,0.0,0.0,0.06703622592608066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697683581145203,0.0,0.07467150366106166,0.0,0.2596484493478645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733318321088556,0.06901662657617441,0.14301786160203006,0.06594778196809609,0.0,0.11919590772628573,0.05972958033296205,0.0566775002682494,0.0,0.22103122434376268,0.057380518540897714,0.0,0.06386393535901423,0.09010480541577244,0.0,0.0,0.07352015463664352,0.0,0.0679925513171948,0.06801752408481536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053872628747001036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05205511033152548,0.13037119131122535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147061842610893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308883035801915,0.0,0.046791460778240535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292801384911602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889623252683282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647606609302103,0.0,0.0,0.14492541553582625,0.0,0.0,0.0642017278457278,0.05367350130753629,0.0,0.0683069758217361,0.05378354212418633,0.0,0.07041038927734602,0.0,0.0,0.05583128021221155,0.0,0.0,0.06880107375092236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14331663623721244,0.0,0.05390035723737185,0.05642754728054113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659076848047723,0.0,0.0,0.10149335113480176,0.16274603817535413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134603951612072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871194821467092,0.0,0.06397589984553251,0.06449288489922031,0.0,0.045823622913870175,0.0,0.0,0.07026306288479756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388563169408199,0.0,0.1624175260028806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740810874289095,0.0,0.06878159280293218,0.04794541118334289,0.07379349348396019,0.0,0.08692713930392472
mentalhealth,Ganz13,2019/04/17,"I'm thinking of changing therapists I don't feel like it's helping seeing him anymore. I've had two instances where I felt worse than before the therapy. It was fine until he had my mother sit there with me, because ""you need to have someone to watch over the progress of your symptoms"". That sounds reasonable, but here's the thing: I'm pretty sure my mother is a narcissist. Every time thereafter, I feel like the focus of the session is about her, not me, since he always take her side. She's always going on about how my depression affects her, about how can she help, how expensive the medication was, how useless my father is, how she's the only one bringing the money to the house; in short how hard it is for her. Those are valid reasons, but I'm the one in therapy not her. Is it wrong to think like that? He even chastises me about how cruel I am to my mother and how I don't care about her feelings, and how I don't take the therapy seriously because everytime my mother rants, I would keep myself busy by fiddling with the nearby blinders coz I do not want to hear the same song and dance from her. I want to have a therapist that would not make me have a family member with me. But I don't know how to change therapists. I'm thinking of just ditching him, fond a new therapist and start fresh. I've never felt he really cared anyway; it's always professional between us, and I did not feel any emotional connection at all.",6.217092105263159,5.933773382456143,6.758980263157897,78.33004934210527,66.05263157894737,9.93201754385965,31.847587719298247,9.516144504307137,2.7458114035087715,1134,40,221,20,16,372,148,285,0.149,0.763,0.08800000000000001,-0.9462,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,2,0,1,21,13,1,0,17,0,23,2,0,15,3,52,51,19,0,5,9,5,7,3,0,2,2,3,0,0,10,8,0,1,12,2,2,3,10,5,0,3,7,12,38,8,31,42,2,17,0,2,2,0,27,8,0,0,8,154,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431401467924552,0.0,0.0,0.06623706691801723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096597146315531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875136801186326,0.0,0.08288238705673195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19861676106630816,0.0,0.20607794329623771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389266452399446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956474688534384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433345869763843,0.0,0.08206584044429477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918224456124794,0.0,0.1969986023085122,0.13916878732497265,0.18704342530677454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0553561078257263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725354356059113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977974098863652,0.0,0.130573738104604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238945303822202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657585246123478,0.0,0.0,0.05352988839868107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142757882384706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501695144230195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812281125362622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07222274883719969,0.07512284311877616,0.09407197957805316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200496309082832,0.07407902039683759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990933994905345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06239856092189136,0.20029206589952805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761721321182984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057238718332553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252885561350393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894201876812678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918007407429522,0.1012385332802121,0.1464691755783498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33416487781352283,0.4523674225195878,0.06470991919139747,0.18723484305916027,0.0,0.0,0.05679620405801832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951481279239936,0.0,0.11716326212938205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490108278960498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926150905620024,0.1383839388545172,0.10649438640848843,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sadpanda_csd,2019/04/17,I feel like I need that 15% warning prompt Sometimes I wish I had a mental health meter similar to how electronic devices show how much battery percentage is left. Maybe then I'd pay attention to it more?,4.876153846153844,6.648778666666665,5.515897435897441,78.67076923076927,70.02564102564102,9.302564102564103,33.51282051282051,9.725611199111238,3.512189743589744,164,8,29,4,3,53,33,39,0.1,0.763,0.13699999999999998,0.34,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,6,5,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,2,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,16,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112294275405948,0.2417780851994821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3597406587828869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3677106992305363,0.0,0.0,0.16534228262696818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400035215990652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.341062954816548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24878872096068916,0.250945319814077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33472094293324683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3891836339648469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SheGaveMeTop,2019/04/17,"Self harming as a coping mechanism Now, I promise I'm not trying to be ignorant in this question. I'm just trying to understand the thought process behind it. 

I'm not someone that is in a state of depression/mental trauma, and I am fortunate to say I have never been as of today, but people close to me have been having a really rough time of it, for one reason or another.

I wanted to enquire why people resort to self-harming as a coping mechanism - why that's the thing that people decide to do. I have never understood it, at all.

I repeat, I'm not trying to look down on or interrogate the people that have thought of/have self harmed; I have made this thread to LISTEN and LEARN.

Any answers will be appreciated and respected - I think a bit of knowledge on this subject will help me to help the people around me.",6.412953761214631,6.137694298136648,7.510890269151139,73.07529330572808,65.64596273291926,10.136922015182883,32.17460317460318,9.725611199111238,3.034779986197377,646,23,117,12,9,220,86,161,0.062,0.8170000000000001,0.121,0.8859999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,9,0,15,0,0,2,3,29,28,9,0,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,11,5,0,1,11,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,6,4,11,2,26,18,2,15,0,0,1,0,7,8,0,3,6,87,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970346133376362,0.14962370863634392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702503313117247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578135889671318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128522409834534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198243050900823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350174520487577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22010382929173813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669095529261168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4946190503609246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15984631321914364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141135792402796,0.14670987162831664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347342358939586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4465727630726061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090142221372505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947974039312262,0.091430480670618,0.0,0.2265610575404156,0.08320413261409353,0.0,0.13525416091432735,0.0,0.0,0.2906329890896965,0.0,0.0,0.14854611872126003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416271024172031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575124427342176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Foggywinter,2019/04/17,"I think my parents traumatized me. Recently I keep having flashes of memories where my parents were yelling at me, ignoring me or “punishing” me. When I was younger I always felt that my parents hated me. Especially my Dad. My Mom homeschooled me but didn’t have the patience for it and would scream at me when I did not understand what we were learning about. My Dad hardly ever spoke to me unless he was upset with me. He would ignore me otherwise. Pretend that I didn’t exist. When he would spank me he would pull down my pants and for some reason thinking about it makes me skin crawl. I feel deep emotional pain when I think back on these events. I start shaking and tearing up and get this sense of hopelessness. Like I’m trapped. I also have been having a different memory that keeps jumping back into my mind. I keep seeing a naked man in front of me. And he is extremely close. I do not know who it is exactly but I have this really really horrible feeling that it is my Dad. He gets closer and then the memory just stops there. Everything goes black. I have heard of repressing memories of sexual trauma and I wonder if I went through anything of that sort. I had a lot of unexplained sexual thoughts when I was very very little. I remember knowing exactly how to have sex and exactly what I wanted to happen. There was a lot more that I wont go into detail about but I was very sexual as a child. Now, in the present I am extremely depressed. I used to cut and mutilate myself in high school for absolutely no reason. I would cry and sob for no reason. I hate everything and I hate myself. I think I am the mostly ugly person alive with the worst personality to ever exist and I wish I was dead. A lot. Could my childhood explain some things that I feel in the present?",2.6900608519269795,5.030642218390807,4.2368221771467205,82.91686612576069,77.9655172413793,7.8872210953346835,24.890466531440158,8.757208317658263,2.0725480730223125,1404,51,266,33,34,467,177,348,0.255,0.7070000000000001,0.038,-0.9981,4,1,0,0,1,1,31.0,1,0,0,0,19,18,5,3,12,0,33,3,1,6,5,77,67,27,1,9,9,7,6,1,0,6,1,4,0,4,18,18,0,7,19,1,0,6,7,17,0,0,18,12,58,1,35,42,8,41,0,3,2,1,22,17,1,10,19,202,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479840332723761,0.07782704972059537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696978930815809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384239368053614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467858651488872,0.0,0.10274174179330127,0.0,0.0,0.08055994033772725,0.0,0.0,0.09772220426960528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521217227135486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921212621288376,0.0,0.0,0.1681230767843686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187946948612806,0.0,0.08980646441959286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773439090525128,0.0,0.053157028317938726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08271103028564201,0.0,0.0837873049256419,0.27703377924556105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988228779995759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494096074503677,0.0,0.0,0.10280671475035934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04569555853663811,0.09374475959554714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385555449112799,0.0,0.0,0.0624340847778733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444178923778952,0.10954486124526358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952583566015444,0.0,0.3115723869825872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333902759238486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198394251404392,0.2885028799098007,0.09235267338393804,0.0,0.10595479326356264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466051227114464,0.07453378791821863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620322468282379,0.0,0.0,0.0781978775596817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06213924970552264,0.2397289897604901,0.0,0.07425485057726235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737127791709548,0.0,0.08078258586274165,0.0,0.2315238620103681,0.055168258314309285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670614053213832,0.0,0.0,0.1075584735180228,0.0,0.1014326802160082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322162289478558,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,anonboi678,2019/04/17,"Anxiety and OCD going out of control and causing me to think ridiculous thoughts are real. I’m a 15 year old boy with OCD, GAD, and ADHD. I feel like my anxiety is going out of control.

So I’m a role player and last night I was role playing as a character I hadn’t roleplayed as in a long time because I’d always felt like that character would drain my personality from me and into the character(I know that makes no sense but please bare with me). So I played that character again and felt something similar happen. After I stopped  roleplaying, I went to bed and woke up the next day(today) feeling back to normal. But I went to class and imagined playing the character and I felt it become more extreme. I was very dissociative and I thought I was super suggestible or something and I felt very suggestible so all of these intrusive thoughts popped into my head because being suggestible scares me.

So, I should also say this, I’m a nerd, a huge huge nerd. And I love myself or did at least. I felt that I was changing myself through my thoughts into a stereotypical jock from the midwestern United States(I don’t live in the midwestern areas of the US btw, I just meant to describe the stereotype). I feel like some dumb jock-like “alpha male” who disrespects women and shit. I was always very shy yet talkative before this. 

Now I feel a lot more confident which I liked but I don’t feel smart anymore, I feel like I’ve lost all good parts of me: my intelligence, my love for learning, my desire to do something good for the world. I feel like my character sucked it all up.

I even feel like my sexuality changed and shit. I don’t wanna become some trendy asshole. I feel stuck. I really need some advice because I loved myself and now I don’t. 

It feels like I traded I loved about myself for some confidence. 

I see a therapist but I don’t see her for some time and I really need some tips to at least try to get myself out of this or last till the next therapy session. 

Sorry for the long post, I just really need some advice. Is it possible I’m dissociating from myself for some reason? 


TLDR(id appreciate it if you skimmed through the actual post instead so you knew better what was going on): I roleplayed as a character and felt my personality go into that character as well as felt my favorite personality traits leave me and be replaced with others. I need some advice because I don’t see my therapist for some time.",3.641687035207237,5.771465503198296,4.7219657808518365,81.58259919912635,74.13859275053305,7.731260075926985,27.430495605595716,8.556025622055003,2.135195496385667,1927,75,359,37,41,630,203,469,0.09,0.688,0.223,0.9974,0,0,3,0,0,1,47.0,1,2,0,5,17,30,5,1,21,0,22,7,3,5,3,95,75,38,0,10,10,0,17,8,0,2,0,1,1,6,18,28,0,3,28,3,1,6,8,9,1,0,26,21,67,21,52,45,19,46,0,1,3,4,21,18,4,15,28,242,85,4,0.0,0.0,0.0594306228398735,0.0,0.07319120644636949,0.17853535294991166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048702533850740866,0.10134907578007983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317824665075954,0.0,0.06039745984707121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04682913495325161,0.0,0.1484988170945195,0.13452081174166378,0.05182229325840376,0.0,0.0,0.05386201435708001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256213654891958,0.12885043482490913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661137339572507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039276127877582674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04022455772991197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079339200661383,0.2610462595955858,0.4093217936742387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03181827599060015,0.0,0.13844584140295246,0.10216179360498524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385458209171778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250202950303557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03346961487471733,0.09928494001322258,0.0,0.06448540021898175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23802534679493334,0.0,0.05377672763659348,0.10779099499924827,0.0,0.0,0.06648067134436852,0.05177588016370927,0.2198622390030124,0.0,0.040651912234430536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18062937630440284,0.0,0.0,0.1295378783764818,0.057151493643945936,0.05967008153668914,0.0,0.0,0.06390538916683891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594988365651099,0.0,0.0,0.1595292980853327,0.0,0.06685104567250442,0.0,0.06865676382585695,0.11665270946088124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931870815041385,0.11704428303144465,0.06261640467275738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048430945594975364,0.060972558008120986,0.0,0.1455907145462744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502806979934208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065377099322318,0.0,0.06817372007154761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05091599030857466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964563847506644,0.14142158583289882,0.0,0.03902292268103342,0.0,0.19339446902358806,0.1065356457691346,0.0,0.05772705803289061,0.0,0.0,0.041347803557482916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325644379696843,0.0,0.0,0.15074919015962693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547573423212212,0.11291173491656176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0432623462971879,0.0,0.0,0.03921826834281912
mentalhealth,DrySlip,2019/04/17,"Is this psychosis/schizophrenia? (I know I should see a doctor for serious problems, but I'm doubting whether I should. I've been in the hospital for suicidal thoughts twice, and neither the doctors nor my parents treated me well in those situations.)

I'm 14M and for the past three years, I've been obsessed with finding the meaning of life. It started when I read a book about demons and became afraid I was possessed and would go to hell. I made my first suicide attempt and was diagnosed with OCD and MDD. After talking to a doctor, I started reading 'Religion vs. Science' material and became an atheist, but without religion I'm very depressed about life being meaningless.

I'm worried now that I may be psychotic.

I'm socially isolated. I had a few best friends who stopped talking to me after the second time I started threatening suicide. I have several imaginary friends who I just sit and think about in place of real friends.

I'm paranoid. When people are laughing in public, I think they're laughing at me. I see people on their phones and think they might be taking my picture or talking about me. I think my sexually abusive step mom might be watching me with hidden cameras or taking my picture while I'm asleep. I'm very careful of what websites I go on knowing that she could be watching, or the police could have me on some list and arrest me after getting the wrong idea about things I'm interested in. This is all irrational, but I still think it randomly and get scared in the moment.

I feel detached and hyper aware of where other people are around me and what they are doing. It's like there's a compass in my mind that points to them. I get scared if I know where someone is and then they're not where I expect them to be when I turn to face them.

My brain shuts off when I get anxious, and I can't speak. I have a lot of confidence and think I'm okay at verbalizing my thoughts when I'm alone. But when I'm in a stressful situation, I become a completely different person. I become taciturn and detached, and I give a lot of one word answers or try to explain things and fail. I can relate to the schizophrenia symptoms of 'flat affect,' 'poverty of speech,' and 'word salad.' I don't make any sense and people respond to me in condescending ways, which leads to further social isolation.

My parents aren't kind to me about mental health. If I become full blown schizophrenic, I will find a way to restrain myself when I have episodes.",6.222381716118687,6.7250250443974675,6.387947801997522,78.31467230443975,65.99788583509513,8.892002624480572,35.54924546183568,8.74248658614541,3.0386012830793905,1958,91,355,28,29,626,234,473,0.212,0.701,0.087,-0.9966,3,2,0,0,0,2,47.0,0,0,6,5,22,25,1,6,20,1,35,13,3,4,1,84,79,42,3,9,15,3,1,1,3,7,9,2,0,1,17,25,1,2,18,3,0,4,7,12,1,5,8,7,60,13,52,56,8,54,2,2,4,0,27,24,1,14,24,248,77,8,0.0,0.0902584827499964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889744219413743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051803657689490405,0.0,0.0,0.08605946582260922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781457778810104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523978744737881,0.0,0.0,0.07994411957757704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503985049847569,0.0,0.0,0.07766855614552877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987119203193964,0.0,0.0,0.12164388144073332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561200665843672,0.0773190745770034,0.0,0.07958980468871761,0.0,0.23391425735396354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038517889733589175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925063844669214,0.06479697468210176,0.0,0.0,0.17656482001977347,0.0,0.15919946017712044,0.07307688668084357,0.08658743492901899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097366025082135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599569860351522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932767273554911,0.12559632289549336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761355979162053,0.037216726804883186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952763648622692,0.0,0.07208147306882869,0.05084941186631958,0.0,0.0,0.08298018305114266,0.0,0.0,0.07676951479683608,0.16162565633661502,0.07691807216250651,0.08921876226931343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051620189717450936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917332563045495,0.0,0.07272052834925634,0.2112489561426213,0.06651569825552134,0.07958980468871761,0.0,0.07201284046025498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728920655832608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239724568487398,0.08670725058282057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525349507210673,0.0,0.12140801913872508,0.0,0.0,0.08605946582260922,0.0,0.0,0.17125454543195132,0.0,0.1553077716493591,0.06454537896430326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16175755842753006,0.0,0.06083585558523645,0.06368822570637722,0.08726165077575547,0.0,0.0,0.2499791296553909,0.0,0.0,0.07917811834158403,0.11455276307922956,0.1836869917559748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121856715228136,0.2928707495272209,0.0,0.12095365835853125,0.04442000906721463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051719866970522985,0.082859797629196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570966919892518,0.0,0.12093311389865333,0.0,0.0,0.06849317779542416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07343288128534811,0.0,0.0,0.07736246488397419,0.0,0.0541146712234082,0.08328869311477655,0.0,0.049056139552491294
mentalhealth,epiphany_juxtaposed,2019/04/17,"Wish me luck! I'm a 24 year old male from India. Today, I finally mustered the courage to seek help after 13 long years of struggling with anxiety & OCD.
The psychiatrist diagnosed me with anxiety and secondary depression. I was also prescribed some medications which I will mention below. I am a bit reluctant to take the dosage but at this point I am really desperate and I need to be able to function as I have exams coming up soon.

I have kept my friends and family in the dark about this but I really feel the need to talk to someone about this and hence I'm here.

My prescription is:
Escitalopram (10 mg) - once a day
Methylphenidate Hydrochloride (10 mg) - twice a day

In all honestly I'm really scared but I just want to get better. I don't know what to expect so if anyone has any experience with these drugs please let me know. Thank you.",2.9657926829268284,5.369827347560978,4.380670731707319,81.91173780487806,77.35365853658539,8.490243902439023,24.88414634146341,9.188382445141503,2.2884951219512204,671,24,129,18,16,222,111,164,0.094,0.745,0.161,0.912,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,1,7,9,0,2,9,0,11,3,0,0,1,25,26,11,0,6,5,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,6,8,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,2,1,17,6,22,21,3,17,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,3,10,81,23,1,0.15504172305509648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398680991212895,0.0,0.16798764215444933,0.0,0.1054336882846898,0.0,0.2372129875385825,0.0,0.0,0.10840877765974076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712180471025018,0.16926540612195073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335547160796022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19997817017761724,0.0,0.13353720888249232,0.1573640852982915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797991762545824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166055532203884,0.146159538136352,0.0,0.07839375365919735,0.0,0.0,0.1698406292273064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978485063474473,0.0,0.08100290118515434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392119882457232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704137525994703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854066622195415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372070460252627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561882247614772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22992294623762904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269020752128582,0.16511437503922732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018925375887334,0.14656454220069398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29797109357792456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.155223812025422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136634881517512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208327210430434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657208055692622,0.12461666411559742,0.0,0.1427415880767041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469614249033896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144762525042667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782903299710095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996835728098368
mentalhealth,Yaseen_Maboobs,2019/04/17,"How to support a struggling partner Throwaway here. I am recently married about six months and for the most part it’s been fine. 

But my husband occasionally goes through periods of depression and it’s been difficult for me to navigate and provide support to someone who says he does not need or want my support. 

It may be triggered by one small thing, say a tough day at work, but it often spirals and spreads to all aspects of his life. He will say things like he hates everything, he is just going through the motions of life, doesn’t know who he is or what he is doing on earth, he thinks he sucks at his job, he thinks he is fat but doesn’t have the energy to work out or have sex, doesn’t think he is doing anything right, he isn’t satisfying me, and says he is failing me as husband. 

I don’t think any of this is true, and I tell him so, but it only seems to matter how he feels about himself and his own contributions to our marriage and to his own life. 

I try to support him and encourage him to talk through his issues with me, but he gets really defensive during these times and says he doesn’t want anything from me and to let him work his own shit out. 

I’ve encouraged him to get professional help or just talk to someone but he says therapy is for women or “that won’t work for me” and it’s just the “same old positive-thinking crap” and he doesn’t want to be medicated. Sometimes he says mental health isn’t real and the concept of therapy is fake, and it’s very clearly a defense mechanism. 

It breaks my heart to watch this and feel like nothing I say or do is helping. Eventually he’ll pull himself out of it and we’ll be back to normal. But I feel like I’m losing a lot of time with him and during these periods I feel like I am just his roommate and not his wife.  

How can I support my husband and help him combat this negative self-talk? or should I just give him space?",5.929362200838884,5.271126722797927,6.466136195410807,81.44206390328155,66.74611398963731,9.735800641500122,33.40685911670367,9.107695989026183,2.6316113002714046,1489,58,315,23,21,487,174,386,0.111,0.738,0.151,0.94,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,2,0,0,6,14,26,6,1,9,0,37,10,4,4,3,78,64,39,0,6,21,4,4,4,1,6,6,8,0,2,20,25,1,2,10,0,0,3,12,13,0,2,2,13,40,13,43,52,8,22,0,3,1,1,66,9,3,12,13,207,60,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0522913025896981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265562253666005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059127582898215535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049590975987939614,0.0,0.06622963409762565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067291417294253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910835467427237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552188528837071,0.1648016173042222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034902857764105,0.07376478349551578,0.04370125549317815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591798833347851,0.0,0.08173589199725795,0.0,0.09112105980487473,0.15462348728273584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025850296379658,0.07630651834986793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042259534156498135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863044616061657,0.1629398425362487,0.15026824047191478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860259441843567,0.0,0.06537346140525332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746372013371143,0.07749217153676144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06137693255039928,0.0,0.0,0.057016739856252475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753408683744838,0.07378291913961645,0.0,0.08068846882132351,0.0,0.052106107573181334,0.058482186053225825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326989633527841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752345450438888,0.0492609679466466,0.0,0.07592463128093109,0.0,0.0,0.06566799241965808,0.0,0.4892005378044312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700024080423943,0.08021835603787192,0.0,0.07893171173292372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030593177106287,0.0,0.0760512168220716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038745076857279,0.0,0.0,0.4362982223390376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854160979380363,0.06720970378957042,0.0,0.17587248906239752,0.0,0.1021713708784969,0.2463563653329077,0.0,0.0,0.08967629849975185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052206723121082266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06344650786951518,0.1360641609207681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22392218480577955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mannotgoodatanything,2019/04/17,"Mental health, student loans, and work I'm not sure this is the right subreddit to post this in but I needed to get it out there.

I am 24 living in the US. I dropped out of college a year ago because I couldn't handle the stress of 3000+ level classes, due to said stress coupled with depression I had to retake classes in my undergrad degree and I was enrolled for 6 years before dropping out. I now have ~$40k in loans, no degree. I am still struggling with my mental health issues at my current job, and I barely make enough money to pay my loan minimums. I have had breakdowns in the past due to my issues and I am afraid that if I have another one I am completely fucked, my work is already suffering and I don't know how I can keep this up. I have seen a doctor for my issues before and I was prescribed antidepressants but all they did was give me an idgaf attitude which helped the depression and anxiety but I was still getting behind on work and ignoring obligations. I think I should go to another doctor but my insurance through work is a joke (literally paid $0.75 from my last doctor visit.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of posting here but I had to put it out there somewhere.",4.641632231404959,5.3493688140495905,5.619493801652894,81.71287706611571,69.53719008264463,8.694628099173555,29.174586776859503,8.841846274778883,2.215139669421488,951,34,188,16,16,314,133,242,0.156,0.7929999999999999,0.051,-0.9797,3,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,1,4,7,13,1,4,9,0,23,6,0,2,3,36,41,15,0,5,8,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,8,15,0,2,2,1,6,3,5,9,0,1,11,2,33,4,32,28,2,33,0,3,1,1,6,15,1,2,11,132,41,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500279990611216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826857079288655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247614208964208,0.08198739845530657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533194240552292,0.0,0.18239343018201606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236932676239147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858538764448985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846166766307879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290897124520022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107388265658922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908013063900174,0.1679811178405116,0.1028105421906591,0.06090914334398196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278407384788458,0.0,0.0,0.07183610665160177,0.0,0.0,0.1064474213937512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355837222359701,0.10635311530072224,0.0952606896476576,0.0,0.0,0.058899727125456436,0.0873606687190109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946361228042693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153911231720393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160112669946446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794677576586588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262350565116542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230918813811644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20528508563393147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773892210899844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152554356304132,0.10194649659628714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117771655125458,0.0,0.24553365738989924,0.1120409632781516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20201942284669067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686724214232556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12891646844380414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120942018327576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803238025722764
mentalhealth,polarbearized,2019/04/17,"What are the differences between Pure O/Anxiety? I've been dealing with what I thought was anxiety for years with very little help from my GP, and I'm working up the courage to go back to a different doctor. I struggle every day with intrusive thoughts which can strongly affect my mood very negatively, and I worry non-stop because of these thoughts. They are usually very similar thoughts that reoccur and no matter how irrational they are, it doesn't stop me from getting into a state over them. I'm really struggling and would like a lot of insight into this before going to a doctor just so I know where to start/what to say. Could anyone tell me the difference between a Pure O form of OCD and general anxiety disorder?",8.433378519290926,7.751911503649637,8.407820646506773,69.64153284671535,61.700729927007295,12.20813347236705,40.739311783107404,11.491704259439757,4.874569134515122,584,29,100,15,7,190,92,137,0.141,0.762,0.097,-0.7305,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,2,5,6,0,2,8,0,9,2,0,2,2,27,19,7,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,7,10,0,1,6,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,6,1,11,3,20,11,2,14,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,6,69,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981270954105846,0.0,0.0,0.09083143475425892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988764893112444,0.0,0.07918786949317047,0.0,0.11053817331814247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371724554360187,0.0,0.0,0.08377690676384185,0.1339246380632004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4071640209716055,0.1488804803364615,0.2659231430718045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944916545805104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786913285747144,0.0,0.14765412190335597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870714696207108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139147763039275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346420957032478,0.13019727211171594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043917309289217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08321940507415042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330434879530867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194625167199323,0.0,0.0,0.2172100155170728,0.0,0.271606349093008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354124366041154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41251496202810056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307017486572488,0.3215515767768965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457117764425436,0.13192314600942345,0.0,0.0922796046346822,0.0,0.0,0.08365349101205508
mentalhealth,someofthisistrue,2019/04/17,"isolation of mental illness I am ""out"" to my family and friends when it comes to my schizoaffective disorder. I thought that by being open and honest and really putting myself out there - I could garner some much needed support. But it had the opposite effect. I never hear from my friends anymore, aside from my parents and brother I don't talk with my family anymore... and with parents and brother it's only when I call them, they never call me. And they never ask how I am... it's like my condition is Voldemort, the condition we never name. I feel so isolated and lonely and depressed.

There is one exception though, my wife. But it's become so much like she is my full-time caretaker that our relationship has changed. I need other people to lean on for the sake of our marriage so that my wife and I can get back to being equal partners again.

This isn't sustainable and we've realized that.

We're selling our house, quitting my job and moving to someplace cheap so that I don't have to work anymore and can focus fulltime on my mental health... living off of my military medical retirement.

Anyway - my question is: how do you deal with the isolation of mental illness? Do you think I should try and reach out, maybe with a Facebook post or something to try and reconnect?",5.8288636363636375,6.8314800165289284,6.253378099173556,77.16824896694216,67.01652892561984,9.355785123966943,32.893595041322314,9.516144504307137,3.152453719008264,1012,43,178,20,16,327,132,242,0.093,0.833,0.07400000000000001,-0.6823,3,4,1,0,0,0,34.0,4,2,3,3,14,8,0,0,5,0,20,4,0,3,4,47,30,27,0,4,4,6,1,2,3,1,4,1,0,1,12,25,0,0,6,0,2,3,7,2,0,1,2,2,37,6,26,24,4,19,0,2,0,0,29,7,0,3,10,141,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333627301542417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474919115438357,0.0,0.0,0.08615753222241071,0.0,0.0,0.12374754716040813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288258405117434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853128934989972,0.09651891138775504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946072933505743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551594659376865,0.09650625907822903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841602459500664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21125662835372305,0.0,0.056654530703923185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313508236009326,0.0,0.05854014048430206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191011437183874,0.12628556007253866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928765267033476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118975258681063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094813971404088,0.0,0.09893990458698178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256667074479283,0.0,0.0,0.11287596475873313,0.3387522678369759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908865096179914,0.16473545865459668,0.1661634506466571,0.3456714410895945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592621619505198,0.08521709466784051,0.0,0.0,0.2488307494908628,0.0,0.0,0.07767955717935587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731043381690232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263858194841092,0.12551872818642082,0.1191761991762768,0.0,0.0,0.07178043182445792,0.0,0.0,0.1202969720929542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625956055384246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271500585926729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005945364027468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717954478907223,0.1100859989154927,0.08895311761134099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521456555149278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157183968575013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,April9811,2019/04/17,"Extremely sad returning home from vacation So I just returned home from vacation in the Philippines. My husbands family lives there. We were there for about three weeks. We had a lot of fun and it was great to be able to spend time together with my kids and husband and his family everyday. I never expected to feel so sad when we got back. I’ve literally been crying everyday since we got back. I called off work today because I feel so sad.. I can’t stand my job and in the Philippines it’s just a different way of life, a lot more family oriented, laid back etc. I honestly don’t know how I am gonna get used to going back to this routine now, it feels so bleak. Anyone have any input?",2.818695652173915,4.719716884057976,4.45731884057971,83.58858695652177,75.81159420289855,8.947826086956523,25.268115942028984,9.516144504307137,2.330263768115942,542,19,110,15,12,182,91,138,0.07200000000000001,0.852,0.076,0.1316,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,4,0,0,1,16,6,0,0,5,0,9,1,0,2,1,21,19,10,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,4,9,0,0,4,0,1,1,3,3,0,1,6,3,15,3,15,11,4,20,0,3,0,0,9,3,0,2,14,73,19,2,0.14811068611612588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072034549080584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356243547737676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4555519011850199,0.0,0.09028689954270347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123757029201176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269263395653594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474414323874458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518256631120765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4188767200703442,0.0,0.2246676393854861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07738172045254227,0.0,0.0841747161318953,0.0,0.2369152917114723,0.1632925543196835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971341887633415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469770021164735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139775966035226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461495775718584,0.0,0.0,0.13078444935409875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25183681769534555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423209186692708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251869008885835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636453214889961,0.0,0.14039161231012284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127920078464996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756336865400935,0.11880545850349092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782634348229762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,owo_bot1000,2019/04/17,"What's wrong with me? For a year now I've been unable to become motivated, or have any interest in something. Often, what'll happen is that I'll get excited about doing something and that's all I can think about. Then as soon as it's time to do that thing I'll sudden become paranoid something bad will happen or that it won't be any fun. And as soon as I start I become disinterested and I just want to stop. I've been to a counselor before but it didn't help. I've never been diagnosed with any mental health problems, but they do run in my family. And I've been told by my doctor I show some depressive symptoms.",3.6747829861111114,4.581708648437502,5.167604166666667,83.34475694444446,71.890625,7.876388888888887,24.378472222222214,8.167268648758528,1.298189930555556,489,13,101,7,9,165,76,128,0.155,0.789,0.056,-0.905,0,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,7,7,0,0,2,0,14,4,0,1,2,20,21,13,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,2,1,0,1,3,4,0,0,6,0,9,3,16,12,2,13,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,4,10,67,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32479838046890824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329310812015192,0.0,0.5274944184717447,0.13547331495793827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712463850661552,0.16159161548329715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295497127623804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008606214674905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317901531681374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815722077469543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922945137547685,0.0,0.0,0.10671300487142273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604430728608238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279014815776992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233946730418896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676956657007189,0.0,0.0,0.11268743763397587,0.0,0.0,0.13310406695192506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547689071216135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057699660305197,0.10201332983444568,0.0,0.0,0.09283480259202173,0.0,0.0,0.1521289810253524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939043331794338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17406771285791195,0.0,0.10252400048795772
mentalhealth,Ralib1,2019/04/17,"I feel like I have so many mental disorders and it’s very frustrating. *ADHD ✔️ 

*Anxiety ✔️

*Depression ✔️

*Low Self Esteem ✔️

*Aspergers/Autism ✔️ 

*Histrionic Personality Disorder ✔️ 

*Dependent Personality Disorder ✔️ 

*Schizoid Personality Disorder ✔️

*Dyscalculia ✔️




Is this even possible?  It has to be because I have the symptoms to fit all of these, even if some may be contradictory.  They just seem to fluctuate depending on my environment or mood.  So far I’ve just been dealing with it but it’s a struggle life. I don’t even know what it feels like to be stable or “normal”",-0.5033955857385379,-0.017598017543855704,3.4406847764572746,76.94452461799662,130.05263157894734,8.137634408602151,24.730050933786078,7.601502580125103,3.2285487266553488,462,24,86,19,31,170,73,114,0.115,0.7959999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.1893,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,7,7,1,1,2,0,10,2,0,2,1,18,14,7,0,2,6,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,4,8,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,6,2,7,9,2,4,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,8,2,47,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017342446011732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832217480502904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631690014485507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14598144494383844,0.12195825391889455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6491348554757483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805726699412404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319252880051989,0.20231545151732785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781862405513677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001494024184827,0.13835537880524318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143558269739793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426976014857026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387360942103516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709140520424706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963060564053766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890561108013818,0.1477177213481511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802910005926953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717466441458882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11683327897616873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kriminally_insane272,2019/04/17,"How do you tell your teacher's about your mental health without making it sound like an excuse? I struggle with doing my school work because of my mental health. I want to let my teachers know that I'm not turning things in late because I don't care, but because it just takes me a little longer to build to motivation and energy. It doesn't help that my medication makes me sleepy. However, I don't want to come across as a lazy student that's just making excuses. Any tips?",5.443758865248222,6.080256638297875,5.83489361702128,81.13333333333334,67.72340425531915,8.394326241134753,29.49645390070922,8.344100000000001,2.02797730496454,380,13,73,5,6,122,65,94,0.103,0.772,0.125,-0.1806,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,2,4,3,0,1,3,0,6,3,0,5,0,16,17,4,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,1,13,2,11,16,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,46,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130028183741652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262049879015606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18186394881281065,0.0,0.0,0.15365321051302294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792059575679148,0.0,0.0,0.11956017959141535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802956035964276,0.0,0.2012133845294544,0.0,0.0,0.18239926733367806,0.0,0.08714441512137314,0.17877738028079074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571976342455894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17969280968428447,0.3595176169680824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805237804532888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18647499586939664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411487785334827,0.0,0.1559065391017876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850360833924327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940194429060911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21041894477384002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171945951180458,0.0,0.12985823063022275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,theKurdledNoodle,2019/04/17,"I feel like I'm going to snap I'm in a bit of a weird state right now.

I've never been diagnosed with any mental disorders in my past, but I'm pretty sure I used to have pretty bad seperation anxiety. Not sure if that's relevant. 

Anyways, onto the main point: For the last week or so, I've felt like I'm gonna snap. By ""snap,"" I mean hurt someone. I've never actually had a fit of rage before, but this morning I feel the worst out of the past week. I'm not angry, either. I just really want to beat the shit out of something, and I don't know why. I'm worried that if I *do* snap, I'm going to hurt someone I love. 

If I had to classify this feeling, I'd say I feel overly stressed, but at the same time I don't. I'm not totally sure how to describe it.

Any help as to why this is happening and how to have it *not* happen would be appreciated.",0.8235202702702686,2.2038831189189203,3.653429054054055,89.46338682432432,79.97297297297297,7.003378378378378,21.83277027027027,7.8658589789855275,0.8364662162162162,647,19,153,11,16,231,100,185,0.168,0.605,0.227,0.913,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,6,14,2,1,9,0,11,3,1,3,6,37,34,13,0,5,13,0,5,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,0,0,2,8,8,0,0,4,6,12,6,23,27,6,22,0,2,0,1,3,10,1,4,11,88,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.12225580525266205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039022427188566,0.0,0.09583932518268064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460407794797784,0.0,0.0,0.10660457335969653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677398078266348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271571839254799,0.0,0.0,0.14358243502156934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533825665177884,0.08950049416174498,0.12028903403153975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239971765233073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22157046268581776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839729533434779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682309722728332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688509479200631,0.10212041966549082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241155759617417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307064350641645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646731361089542,0.0,0.0,0.12625339046407227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19324826237841994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391890396788253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11843067250218205,0.0,0.0,0.2549108429567697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025796796590895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698895802678288,0.0,0.0996281709652394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859874776753338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21229971179569174,0.0964471356847532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435085176334216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542264821948677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305213226919874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820222444787753,0.0,0.0,0.07389375079755325,0.0,0.20098510008568146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260925321442277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722854263320174,0.0,0.08899575220560631,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ritsuniiii,2019/04/17,"i feel like dying so damn bad I feel like theres no point in living anymore

everything just feels so hopeless

even though im on meds and have a therapist, I still feel like im not good enough for anything.

I really wanna die because im so useless

someone please help, any piece of advice could help",2.1072677595628413,4.326420737704922,3.2700819672131125,89.72566939890713,79.327868852459,6.033879781420765,23.281420765027317,7.1686216300943375,0.9043748633879782,239,8,48,3,6,77,46,61,0.297,0.503,0.2,-0.8616,0,0,0,0,0,4,3.0,0,0,0,0,8,8,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,6,5,2,2,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,4,4,5,5,2,4,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,4,25,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148281089058685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319015515051913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15048786093947145,0.0,0.0,0.12487121073759973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266987126632928,0.09250086590222599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115409952536214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31496967363716033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679064434911882,0.0,0.10022454032566852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637644288555564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30690242310716304,0.32521477982897856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727447336594835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034197001850074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4917240636906386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240127345116967,0.0,0.13399147465550149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855179401419526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16656778100097436,0.1434457818493162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972101797724324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857099221638044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118181720262383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618482628696858,0.0,0.0,0.14908631047489046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Imfucked12,2019/04/17,"Seeking advice about a highly suicidal friend I've been pretty good friends with this girl (17 yrs old) for about a year now. Shes severely depressed and suicidal, gets drunk (11+ shots) whenever she can and while intoxicated has gone into depth about her detailed plans to kill herself. Her situation is really bad, she has apathetic parents, shit health insurance, and she sees no other options for herself. She had plans to get wasted and slit her wrists a few weeks ago but luckily I blocked her access to the alcohol. This is a very temporary fix, however. I could get authorities involved and probably should but I'm worried that her parents will lash out at her. I am very certain that she is going to attempt suicide very soon and I want to keep her safe to the best of my abilities. Am happy for advice any of you can offer me, or any hotlines/organizations that can give me advice",6.213663581927055,7.283710856287428,6.865040827436039,72.88413718018509,66.18562874251496,10.144583560152423,34.34349482852477,10.230975488527342,3.6904059880239513,711,32,124,17,11,234,111,167,0.181,0.645,0.175,0.4088,3,0,1,0,0,1,19.0,0,1,0,4,5,11,2,0,6,0,16,6,2,0,1,20,26,10,4,3,3,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,1,6,9,2,3,0,1,0,2,1,4,0,0,3,1,23,7,18,20,2,14,0,1,1,0,24,5,1,2,7,83,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786653776717143,0.11449992681864282,0.13804165716279762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17567778116605567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785015627128333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355541883629561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313039723964416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125248931935043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19959025544091785,0.0,0.2024553562490841,0.12391002758496696,0.07340933596024964,0.10834026292233737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750208417027635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729988962385822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13647342752569694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481074246369127,0.14290561407858926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554042896427315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868522784373809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314106236938712,0.1392653014908893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274853673910962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293043179451146,0.0,0.0,0.1459234413009333,0.13258942973444507,0.0,0.14519060959179267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4238675490726031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31973218795223746,0.07618682490515129,0.0,0.10361103925231482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117670433443845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318016655127455
mentalhealth,ndm75,2019/04/17,"Why do I feel so distant? Hi I’m 17 years old I’m a junior in high school and I’m at a point in my life where I’d like to understand who I am as a person and why my life is the way it is. I wasn’t entirely sure how to ask this question as it can be extremely broad, I’m going to do my best to provide you guys with some background to give you a better understanding. (please excuse my punctuation) I understand that the answer to the question at the top is depression but I’m looking for something a little deeper than depression and possibly a way to get over this large obstacle life has put in front of me. 

I’m gonna be straight up I’m not very interesting at all. I never had a whole lot going for me, anxiety runs in my family I’m extremely shy, reserved and introverted I tend to keep to myself. Which you can imagine gets very lonely. I’m not much of a talker either, I’m horrible at small talk and tend to feel awkward talking to someone I don’t know very well/don’t know at all. I’m obsessed with this idea of being different from most people in my generation which I would say I am in some ways. Throughout middle school and most of high school I wasn’t much of a problem people have told me I was mature for my age and I agree with that very strongly in some ways. I’d just like to add that drugs have played a role into who I am today as I started smoking weed in the 7th grade. As of today I’d say I don’t have very many friends people don’t really have much to say about me it seems like, I’m not hated by most people but neither am I liked by most people it seems. I feel as if I’m just here that’s it. I’m not saying I never had friends but most of them I don’t see anymore/don’t talk. The last year has been very tough for me due to the fact that I’m not very “popular” and had just gotten out of my first serious relationship which was about 1 whole year ago. I still haven’t got over that whole situation it hurts me deeply I’ll admit I had serious thoughts about ending my life. I’ve always had thoughts like that. They weren’t as serious as they are now. but I believe that losing this person is what triggered this downward spiral I have gotten myself into. After this break up I turned to drugs mostly weed but later on I ended up turning to other things such as alcohol, xanax, acid, and cocaine. Obviously not all at the same time. I like to look for the best in people I try to be the person you can rely on I try to be real to people, I like to show the female friends that I have/had that not all guys are the same. I’ve made a few friends in the past that originally had thoughts about who I am as a person and they were extremely surprised it seemed like. I’ve been told that I have a good heart and that im lucky to have the people I do around me but I don’t always feel so lucky i spend most of my days in my room cause there seems to be nothing to do(I don’t have a hobby or play sports because I’m just not interested.) I do my best not to judge people i think before I speak most of the time. I like to try and understand others viewpoints on different situations and I’ve even helped others relationship problems I like to think I’m good at giving advice because I have a good understanding on a lot of things along with what I’ve been through but what I don’t understand is how I can help others with things like that but not myself. I like to be the person people don’t feel judged around and are comfortable around I like to be the person that’s there for people as it seems no ones there for me. I say that because that is the way I feel. I care more about others than I do myself. I’ve learned that talking about my problems with a particular close friend who’s been around since middle school doesn’t solve anything for me. Neither does talking to my parents I just don’t see how they are relevant cause they can’t relate to this type thing in my opinion I’ve already tried opening up to them that’s also out of the question. I’ve tried depression medication I’m just gonna say it’s not for me. Neither is any sort of therapy. So here I am.

I apologize if this is confusing and all over the place I just don’t know what to do about this emptiness I feel",2.3690197740113,3.8299096802259918,3.897083333333335,89.01522951977402,75.92655367231637,6.905367231638419,23.13912429378531,7.594959193182576,0.8629124293785315,3317,96,727,44,72,1102,297,885,0.085,0.754,0.162,0.9972,4,2,5,0,0,0,50.0,0,4,7,8,35,54,1,3,37,0,77,10,1,8,10,141,149,43,0,6,30,1,7,13,5,3,9,7,1,8,57,33,1,1,34,4,1,5,33,17,0,2,25,19,94,37,124,113,35,90,0,6,4,0,59,54,0,29,38,490,151,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04160953172784079,0.03774537059941764,0.04550599858478853,0.0,0.0,0.04698904705179915,0.034051905026180065,0.07086138707959452,0.0,0.0,0.0289564506303095,0.0,0.032574247729919466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035040426517394266,0.1516240019580554,0.03980736390170464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787070635328562,0.0,0.03623318272684023,0.04797405718118223,0.13405798287104154,0.03765931774775892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043414033137117454,0.08748456244710605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02746113745092552,0.0,0.11002451851653704,0.0,0.0,0.08897588907558462,0.0,0.0,0.037262804830348016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987605774831298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07542802135302706,0.0,0.0,0.02812426194778412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014145306921496,0.0,0.15071116510687188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03621926485620231,0.0,0.0,0.16448936625921184,0.0,0.044493492492576725,0.08169489784192822,0.048399377506425235,0.10714443637992296,0.03405581024657452,0.0,0.0,0.084323508419213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420397919397761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050458533999899885,0.057082116962103385,0.08997805050284928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04558370023473094,0.048068617392953816,0.04599464471917216,0.0,0.0,0.03784783225189567,0.0,0.0,0.0702039949586336,0.03470909088859254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203045062931954,0.27043719855629617,0.04267721647057174,0.0,0.0,0.0715144102770665,0.047637099906377885,0.0,0.0724014631101042,0.0,0.04029104718412508,0.0,0.04317031716358702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04289574511639408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390551293870286,0.0,0.06568198137969253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04085749158307124,0.0,0.0446814584481249,0.0,0.02885389838763878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04728101518377293,0.0,0.04064825695469106,0.3247223394197768,0.2230798308746427,0.04448794453779231,0.04674100664079344,0.040252683932755724,0.04800353115852084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223242098392476,0.0,0.04280553359485041,0.14310095288559874,0.0,0.0,0.04846635030755137,0.027278394603031945,0.0,0.0,0.09143183430065152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20317209344167708,0.0,0.17237644817013306,0.06786287820420403,0.1938201165485706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03522333430808243,0.09572536016163254,0.0,0.0,0.03607863156299168,0.032780832759912316,0.0,0.0,0.03013895777245103,0.0,0.034005136459001765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04013196448507098,0.0,0.0,0.17112444517892994,0.0,0.0,0.048694933904441136,0.0,0.11315534745378845,0.05456820218228968,0.0,0.10141335939464004,0.04965849350879508,0.0,0.08072336866911793,0.08137568892074436,0.0,0.14454807260086114,0.0926315146960756,0.0,0.2659691138115505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24593573065930324,0.0,0.16899355655374754,0.0,0.0,0.038285314392936656,0.0,0.07684522129003643,0.1426200565480708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030248227162807974,0.0,0.0,0.08226204942398119
mentalhealth,Mich1-2,2019/04/17,How to tell your parents you want to die? How am i gonna tell them that i don't want to wake up tomorrow with out sounding like a teen who is just in emo phase 2?I am fully serious on ending my life and i want to maybe stop it so got any tips?,-0.01785714285714235,1.2969743571428578,2.2637142857142862,98.78128571428572,82.21428571428572,5.908571428571428,18.34285714285714,6.742157984588678,-0.3045028571428574,188,4,50,2,5,64,46,56,0.14300000000000002,0.746,0.111,-0.5904,1,0,0,0,0,3,3.0,0,2,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,2,0,10,9,4,1,3,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,7,1,9,7,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,4,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898577923956068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897536437516209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472781937552915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22329259321895056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19719913424196955,0.13639742648517678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28048243078050744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100058525687596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23341413470614844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4880462087232225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4940179329490818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,isquishyourhead,2019/04/17,"Tetris and intrusive thoughts This is something I’ve noticed myself when coping with dissociation- I recently learned that playing Tetris (and perhaps games like it, aka Candy Crush, etc) can have a temporary lasting effect that will block intrusive thoughts. So if you have flashbacks or intrusive anxious thoughts, playing Tetris can be beneficial for symptom relief! I thought about posting an article to back up this claim but I don’t think I need to because you can do a web search and come up with years of research.

Personally, I have begun to experience shorter periods of dissociative episodes daily after I began to play games like Sudoku, Solitaire or Spider, and nonograms or tangrams. My mind stays engaged for long periods after spending 20-30 minutes playing on my phone.

Hope this helps someone out there today. Stay safe.",8.216013986013984,10.21363958741259,7.233153846153853,68.67434615384617,62.21678321678322,9.356363636363636,42.27202797202797,9.642632912329526,4.707778181818182,683,40,96,13,10,209,102,143,0.031,0.758,0.211,0.9796,0,0,1,1,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,1,5,10,0,0,3,0,11,1,0,1,0,25,20,11,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,8,0,2,7,6,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,0,11,10,17,13,1,21,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,5,15,62,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19582006620444786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332844969766641,0.0,0.1056638680056291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931340558644654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19331518716381765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16955562987957906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618330347746518,0.0,0.0,0.17216151654995146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412917759449429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936618969648445,0.0,0.0,0.15339668949075205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501970107771064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852626673530534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973439070533675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135009625645798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600773980749048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711481476561932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686682355237782,0.13344233337798006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695057056528527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016221954655992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106655344569097,0.0,0.5504369138488256,0.0,0.0,0.16430202905813607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162254381992433
mentalhealth,Baozi91,2019/04/17,"Advice with my dad Just wanted some advice on a very sensitive situation. 

I’ve always seen my dad, as most of us do, as a strong well together man.

His dad died 20 yrs ago and his mother around 8, she never got over her husbands death and became lonely isolated and ended up with Alzheimer’s. We had to go and ID her and I held his hand through it. 

Since then he’s been rocky, he drinks every night but I’ve never know any different. He has mood swings but won’t ever admit it. You ask him “hey, alright? Good day?” As general chat, he will be on the defence straight away and ask why am I asking and of course everything is alright. He is very sensitive. He moved from Australia as a kid and hated England when he got here. He was quickly married to my mum at a very young age, however they are an incredible couple. 
When he’s drunk he will reminisce about his old times, he will play lots of old songs which make him very sad. 

He forgets it all in the morning, he is self employed and constantly stresses about money. He has told me about ending it all before but I am not sure if this was him just drunk or what. 
He has a lot of financial pressure, he is constantly worried about getting sick/cancer/dementia. 
He will forget where he has put his phone (daily occurrence) and become very angry with himself and convince himself he has dementia. It is clearly stress more than anything. 

My mum is amazing with him but she too loses patience. He is very insecure but will never admit it. 
He hates going out and spending time with her at social events, however when he is at work he is the most approachable person you’ll ever meet.

I see him going down hill recently and I try to talk to him but he’s always on the defence, no matter what approach or time of day, sober or drunk.

He’s so kind and laid back, he’s the nicest person you’ll meet and would do anything for anyone.

Is there any advice ?",3.2657645246855487,5.004958095490721,4.301974843843587,85.8801497390263,74.14588859416446,7.092632839907592,25.423889792076665,7.831003766801068,1.4149725164712934,1490,50,293,21,31,484,207,377,0.151,0.7340000000000001,0.115,-0.9621,4,2,1,0,0,0,42.0,2,3,1,3,20,22,4,4,11,2,34,5,1,1,9,63,54,34,2,3,13,7,1,0,0,9,0,1,0,5,10,23,4,3,3,7,2,7,6,11,1,0,9,4,34,10,39,35,8,50,0,3,2,0,75,15,0,9,28,180,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260208890782522,0.07868133901058406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14771265273140066,0.0,0.0,0.1207211518872608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062063808668231274,0.0,0.1460856064787503,0.0790161767572318,0.24893887471721096,0.0,0.08339395345173786,0.06825178913393838,0.0,0.0,0.09802963567748704,0.07552913876031568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918383820541,0.0,0.0,0.09821244317197582,0.0,0.11448710297870825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921199841098439,0.09273643338174307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695206352968697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723193665150187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057895119343876,0.0747850354039196,0.0,0.07977273244437352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046373999128615236,0.0,0.15133489626710814,0.0744485799452957,0.1419806831268571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752663740754993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924310025227617,0.04878076648444942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930094068999842,0.0,0.15092298666995455,0.0,0.0,0.059248707978174366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09433897749889013,0.0,0.0,0.20537404303173773,0.0,0.0,0.08329625769876348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18627963767818886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500549710452285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892293981174299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764085508414253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073108624215407,0.0,0.092597161131937,0.0,0.0,0.0734240799273045,0.09977116922126436,0.0,0.0904807398105692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20335102707178573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08365626440184715,0.0,0.0,0.07134279128963822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552718929688033,0.0,0.0,0.08481501261629819,0.0,0.06026294468975407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676864647882478,0.0,0.0,0.4394231048324082,0.05235358279308698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980686778377845,0.0,0.08009306587332851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646191210204032,0.09014118201469994,0.0,0.06305332225040522,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,flidaisy,2019/04/17,"Working in an ICU showed me the other side of suicide I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember, and for whatever reason it’s gotten much worse here lately. Sometimes my thoughts can be very dark (in regards to myself), but I’ve fortunately been able to snap out of those thoughts. I’m unmedicated, but currently searching for a therapist, so no worries- that’s not the point of my story! 


I work at a hospital on a higher intensity care unit, and about once a week I will have to sit with a patient that is at risk for suicide or self harm. One of the most life changing people I sat with was a girl close to my age that had intended to OD the night before, and she woke up so happy to be alive. While she did some very extreme damage to her organs, she was crying because she was so thankful that she lived to see the next day. She didn’t leave behind her husband, or her friends, or her mom. That was a hard wake up call for me, and made me understand that suicide is not an okay exit for me. To have known that girl was in a place just as or even more so desperate than I have been, and actually went through with that tragic decision. Seeing her so happy to be alive made me realize how important it is to talk to someone when you’re not feeling okay. My job can be stressful, but moments like that remind me that the future is bright, no matter how dark the road you’re currently on.


Hopefully this is seen as a positive post, and not a “shame on u for having suicidal thoughts” because I’d be shaming myself the whole way! Just an experience and a view of a different perspective I wanted to share :)",7.826697626418991,5.907684755417957,8.078588235294117,75.49631372549021,63.67492260061921,11.337791537667696,36.39401444788441,10.047579312681364,3.3790575438596484,1268,48,256,22,15,418,176,323,0.19,0.649,0.161,-0.8612,5,0,0,0,0,3,31.0,0,0,0,2,13,19,0,4,23,2,29,2,1,6,0,45,48,27,5,2,13,2,2,1,1,1,1,0,0,3,15,12,0,0,10,1,0,1,7,8,0,1,21,7,29,11,47,21,5,34,0,3,5,0,20,17,0,7,14,182,44,3,0.10789137757083836,0.0,0.10528642099081624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315391647112433,0.0,0.09180761573733913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101691594790004,0.0,0.11000245001684864,0.0,0.11413477158381055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851361207277315,0.06958101290222159,0.0,0.09292668540697883,0.0,0.0,0.11272352605238195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712612373377226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055384699964816,0.0,0.0,0.05455312227299013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335661067509591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22970475531234255,0.0966494822772034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716048214889816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070655443263916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170617331752953,0.11424139056240515,0.0,0.0,0.07620687070538754,0.05271027727712632,0.0,0.09527006305671916,0.09548047400653807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20417886032380209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636107743146505,0.0,0.0,0.07931257665557724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11474370404757855,0.10124874908787443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490079591930008,0.07310998969279839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479829641627729,0.0,0.11272352605238195,0.0,0.10199222537956916,0.0,0.1033301157814675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109303054263814,0.0,0.0,0.12221989862067395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195091836042892,0.0,0.11255423704150568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141601409501758,0.0,0.10670733119294018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358920848048155,0.0,0.0,0.4720626223332634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671900243869421,0.0,0.09933188480349847,0.0,0.12527020508694311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25696110662226995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123187290450358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804337159015687,0.06363712986048366,0.08563915358547773,0.08654395517975462,0.0,0.0,0.10001638792562476,0.0,0.12045687003461965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570924157033508,0.10956893109528323,0.10995053116293972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ultraviolents,2019/04/17,"First Psychiatrist appt today, I have a question Hi, i’m seeing a psychiatrist today for the first time after regular therapy for a few months now and meeting with a a new psychologist twice before in the last month. 

I was told that i’m not actually seeing the doctor I called for, but doing some sort of basic evaluation and then making another appt to actually see the doctor for another day. I understand most psychiatrists will have an evaluation as the first appt, but is it usual to not see your doctor..? I can’t find anywhere online where somebody did this, but maybe it’s common. 

Does anyone know what exactly this is? Like, is it forms i’m going to fill out, and am I going to just be seeing staff? My mental health is in a very poor place as I have a recently diagnosed eating disorder, amongst other things. I’m sure I won’t get an appt that’s any time soon and I’m anxious to finally receive help already.

Any insight would really help, thanks!",5.0854927234927185,6.338719362162162,6.607567567567571,73.03617463617466,68.8918918918919,9.8004158004158,28.825363825363823,10.035473477838034,2.9807089397089395,762,27,136,19,13,261,113,185,0.058,0.84,0.101,0.8299,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,14,0,16,6,0,1,2,24,34,10,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,0,10,6,1,0,5,0,1,4,4,0,0,4,3,5,10,3,17,27,4,29,0,0,5,0,9,5,0,4,21,89,20,4,0.0,0.0,0.2162636787163299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227849639899538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070538630940025,0.23238201334017566,0.0,0.12518059168829834,0.0,0.07747896797665926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428876262810773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314653630449115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146147469651107,0.0,0.0,0.11246697166691176,0.0,0.0,0.1269946467271617,0.34024758183201875,0.09696812410861004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338342475650147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138386722097458,0.10127576988254268,0.2827576334381409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057892186614624676,0.0,0.12594856630331336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177828679794348,0.0,0.0,0.14854345579094566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089673717140345,0.09032265414011333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0541347989742354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739646638935514,0.0,0.11132072207944332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11166759163600104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689049368443602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701828057051366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157699359164777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412941915893078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098592726428793,0.0,0.10940873836489333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4414949455652185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443447106647526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201637884198324,0.1267176857943013,0.0,0.07361537748840855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922513438080546,0.0,0.2100645312989716,0.10588102450441177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535419906685265,0.0,0.0,0.12203847188835455,0.09142754153098342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871425296465531,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,v0ideater,2019/04/17,"Tracking Progress Through Personal Entries Hey guys! I want to start collecting data on how I am progressing in life. I am hoping to find in finer detail what triggers an increase or decrease in my symptoms. I deal mainly with depression, anxiety, and a general difficulty doing boring but necessary tasks.

I am thinking of doing an inventory, like the PHQ-SADS except limit its time period to a bidaily basis. Once in the morning and once at the end of the day. For each entry, I put a value for each of the questions and then in two separate boxes list positive tags that happened I.e (>7hrsleep, friends, meditation, multivitamin) and then negative tags (argument, junk food, overslept)

I would love some feedback on how I can improve this personal study and generate more meaningful data. Thanks so much in advance!",8.187031857031856,9.392597664335668,8.430442890442894,62.9203651903652,61.86713286713287,11.670240870240871,41.76301476301477,11.429527900616536,5.55896487956488,658,37,94,19,9,216,104,143,0.073,0.687,0.24,0.9831,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,3,7,0,0,10,0,7,4,0,3,0,24,14,12,0,3,3,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,3,4,8,1,1,4,0,0,3,1,2,0,1,0,0,9,5,20,13,7,19,0,1,0,1,8,9,0,4,8,70,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955666828006273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608107663431922,0.20155151589050516,0.16838352957918054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315462911143098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868310384006042,0.0,0.2363989071700519,0.0,0.15104251548152334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935753525518868,0.1728796614823786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19417522681039398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808715775623398,0.09551123548794144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17644603288753424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14371470949164464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4164014132994322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414054413240005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19653110768590426,0.21900430792977704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837563179520956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20319895261242774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998977677632225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526825761382315,0.0,0.0,0.11399739608047847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909747139824257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531073653674265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388773153982285,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mwilson1212,2019/04/17,"My depression is rapidly coming back, i dont know what to do and i am really scared i used to suffer from depression a good bit, but due to very sudden circumstances its starting to come back, i haven't i felt like this in so long im not as used to it. I am paralysed with upset, i cant eat or sleep, i just feel like everything is falling apart. I dont know what to do",0.3210185185185175,2.1105416419753102,2.7809722222222213,93.15812500000004,83.19753086419753,6.519135802469138,20.001543209876548,7.6454224807358475,0.5481469135802475,287,8,68,5,8,99,54,81,0.25,0.725,0.025,-0.9406,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,2,1,0,10,2,1,2,0,14,19,5,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,4,0,0,3,5,5,0,0,1,2,10,3,10,18,1,11,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,8,44,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811261898816466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957192846935395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149346680441009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148933844153978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4284840696565087,0.0,0.0,0.1870516043511867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429023043282578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924299474781373,0.13059345144894427,0.1755181384501533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332525262486435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19745702415994248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009258833401115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861519037912246,0.0,0.0,0.16177360396439586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171073427148383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830162241654919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18293354972831327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938786568232158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157636631495033,0.0,0.1508304089595299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tommyg810,2019/04/17,Experiences with Citalopram/Celexa I’ve recently been prescribed to take Citalopram or Celexa as it’s known in other countries. Does anyone have experiences with it that they can share? Immediately I feel incredibly spaced out and it’s making me worry a lot.,5.468666666666664,8.873678533333337,5.751111111111115,69.86000000000003,74.77777777777777,8.044444444444443,29.0,8.841846274778883,3.0484666666666667,214,9,32,5,5,68,37,45,0.069,0.879,0.052000000000000005,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,9,6,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,6,5,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,1,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23207422204604256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29045046098896304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6493294390220529,0.0,0.0,0.16782007680992087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28217197326324783,0.0,0.0,0.22154776038271504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277140687872961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495496720057931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33706350189043893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DoctorDuchy,2019/04/17,"How do I stop caring? So I like to go on sports subreddits, but I have a bit of a problem. I just cant fuckin handle the people on them. There's so many smarmy little shits ready to take your team and use them as an extension to insult you, and assume their own superiority. And then, there's your own fellow fans. They're fucking *idiots*. Every game they blame the refs for *everything*. Shit, man, do you know how annoying it is that the Colts subreddit is full of zombie cousinfucker hicks who constantly shout ""Peyton is the GOAT"" because they hate that the rest of the league is smart enough to recognize that Brady is better? After a while it gets annoying.



But I shouldn't care. These are miserable 20-somethings with a propensity to waste their time engaged in aggressive dominance-games with other random losers on the internet. Why do I care so much? The more I care, the more I become one of those losers.


Why just now the Lightning subreddit is full of crying pissbabies bawling about how they're the biggest embarrasment in the history of sports. I wanna shake them and scream at them and remind them the Arizona Cardinals are a professional sports team that has been terrible the *entire* time  and that we should thank our lucky stars we aren't lost in obscurity forever. But then there's always the fucking cunts from other fanbases who come in and laugh. At it just sends me into a fucking rage. Why? Why do I care what some snot-nosed prick has to say about a sport neither of us are playing?



Why do I keep going on these subreddits? Why do I constantly feel the need to prove myself to miserable losers on sports subreddits? I dont do this with politics or music or anything else. Why do I suddenly care so much when it's about sports that I care about? And how do I stop caring?",3.9500877192982458,6.171969915204681,4.485824561403508,83.20610526315792,73.53216374269006,8.302690058479532,24.55789473684211,9.029198982220553,1.9666063157894729,1429,45,270,32,30,453,179,342,0.272,0.629,0.099,-0.9976,0,0,1,0,0,0,41.0,4,4,9,7,20,42,15,3,24,0,27,7,3,5,1,44,51,26,0,5,8,0,1,1,1,2,0,3,0,1,19,15,0,3,4,10,0,5,5,25,0,1,2,4,35,17,39,47,13,34,0,6,0,4,27,16,8,7,14,189,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673790921711205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600279504040796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04889290059046833,0.0885813477106412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093578696689246,0.08756429960138704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6542038019095954,0.0,0.0,0.0690904623685884,0.0,0.17334862368445644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810264633216335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940009643079278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700191360341354,0.0,0.0,0.08287435271989667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757710746229546,0.0,0.07208408050939871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04055461945570628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222447770544802,0.04190438241614552,0.0,0.09116596203685336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918692911928561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129087637119824,0.0,0.0,0.04407918082820092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039184654283976536,0.08038759374701061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755444437402908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131640732635488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179214398846971,0.059471814740101374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05434973630959388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055604818215860816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674641579576666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637831184061304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466083992646088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06174658247474089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341117997478925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030501341596917,0.0,0.0,0.07384301063219664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353765621115973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964780755632994,0.06927232756459635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.506614777032795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,crumbly-toast,2019/04/17,"There aren't any psychiatrists in my area I can see. Do I have other options for mental health care? So basically, my insurance doesn't cover mental health. I'm pretty sure if I wanted to see a psychiatrist, I'd have to pay out of pocket. And I'm not about to drop a bunch of money for that.

I'm really lost, I don't know other alternatives I might have for a reasonable amount of money. Anyone know what other options I can look into?

Also I'm in America, if that helps",2.6470360824742265,4.247922608247425,5.31813144329897,78.53018685567012,75.49484536082474,8.148969072164949,21.403350515463927,8.841846274778883,1.4906505154639178,371,9,73,8,8,133,58,97,0.044,0.807,0.149,0.8584,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,1,1,14,22,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,4,1,0,0,1,3,8,2,14,20,2,6,0,1,3,0,1,5,0,5,0,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983943714519328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444250262354863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850035896864885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21653457997553768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4514979647269487,0.0,0.0,0.14235319005568264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334359263199571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834489993862665,0.0,0.2318368041540896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280562293526218,0.2253005936053716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21606582970978544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605544776544762,0.21836101912621508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384771873524686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20016472659708812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526665708880122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,killyrjr,2019/04/17,"If it's okay, can I call and talk to someone? I just really need to talk to someone tonight.  I haven't felt suicidal for a long time but I'm feeling it tonight. I'm hurting. I just need to talk to someone.",-1.0380000000000005,1.0296988666666709,1.495000000000001,97.7025,93.66666666666666,4.777777777777779,25.277777777777786,6.42735559955562,0.7834444444444446,159,8,38,2,6,54,27,45,0.086,0.78,0.134,-0.0142,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,9,8,3,1,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,4,1,6,7,0,4,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22513614570785803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148201314190452,0.0,0.2116967060050626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360298830889498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511908786313947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32696830700977064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124602118417456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5604394868761019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24117084996258206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5316437575000122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856446884410608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SerslySarcastic,2019/04/17,"Job limitations - schizophrenia Name some common jobs or any job at all really, that you can no longer be part of once you’ve been diagnosed with schizophrenia.",5.104523809523808,8.328438499999997,4.064285714285717,82.54738095238098,74.71428571428572,8.019047619047619,23.619047619047624,8.841846274778883,2.0423190476190483,130,4,22,3,3,38,25,28,0.078,0.922,0.0,-0.29600000000000004,3,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,6,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,13,2,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18808302671411886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807215980065391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8233851645581551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29454733033272457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995078217844124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718342231730547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,doineedhelp1,2019/04/17,"Is there something wrong with me? So my friends invited me to play this game with them but after say about 3 weeks or so they just stopped playing it and they just started playing on their own. I enjoy the game but it feels so much better playing with other people you know. I feel betrayed and angry, but most importantly i feel really down. I just wanted to let this out somewhere. Sorry if this isnt the place",2.646944444444447,5.014171765432104,3.363688271604939,88.98034722222225,78.25925925925925,5.531481481481482,23.70524691358025,6.6274283507984215,0.7525913580246915,327,11,63,3,8,103,57,81,0.161,0.616,0.223,0.6429,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,4,1,8,8,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,21,9,10,0,2,8,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,1,4,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,12,7,10,8,3,8,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,3,4,50,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24146435028549765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4141419411834309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109348778896424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15004486754712562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27918184889709546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20070140252182028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892779635968875,0.0,0.28524820059955913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17490385443970258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171167742497514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21018443661690672,0.0,0.3056239767508401,0.19324523894860035,0.0,0.0,0.22825727306625715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610345011349994,0.0,0.2190004904239975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985049395987116,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cedarthepumkineater,2019/04/17,"How can I (17f) help my bf (20)  I met my bf through an ex and we immediately connected on a friend level. He told me about his mental health before we got together ( he has paranoid schizophrenia) with was never an issue for me obviously I don't judge people based on anything other than the way they treat me. I am his first girlfriend and things were hard at the beginning he accused me of wanting to be with other guys and he didn't really trust me when he wasn't feeling good. When he was OK he told me he really did love me and he was just going through phsycosis. When we got together I knew nothing about scizophrenia so when he told me he was manic and going through phsycosis I didn't really know what that meant I just knew he was going through a hard time. I chose to deal with the pain of being accused because he is such a good person and I know that he wouldn't lie to me. We fell for each other really quickly and I moved in with him. I was always there to support him and we went through some hard times I think he was in full phsycosis but he told me had been worse. He often thought people were coming to kill him and he said he couldn't deal with the voices and told me they tried to get him to kill himself. I just tried my best to comfort him and he was taking a lot of drugs at the time he told this was because he was manic and because he needed to try and cope with the voices and escape somehow. At the moment things are so much better I have helped him get to a point were we never drink or do drugs and he's taking his medication (I know he doesn't want to be). He doesn't say paranoid things about me or accuse me of anything because I have really proved to him that I am trustworthy.I just find it really hard to help him because I have no idea what it's like. He said he hears malicing voices in his all the time he can never be alone and there always putting paranoid thoughts in his mind. I just can't imagine what that's like. I love him so much he's just the sweetest most honest guy I've ever met his family are lovely and they have all said how much better he's doing since he met me. I just don't know how to give him the proper support and wondered if anyone on here knew anything about this particular mental illness. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm just so in love and worried I'm not doing enough.

Edit- I know I can't fix his problem I'm just want to help in any way possible. I only wanna be there for support. 

TL;DR my bf has paranoid schizophrenia and I don't know much at all about this I was wondering if anyone knew how to support someone with this problem or any sites that have good info and insight.",2.4303911025145046,4.153240532727274,3.7774661508704064,88.82279497098648,76.4,6.353578336557058,23.15667311411993,7.125416948008024,0.760432108317215,2103,63,440,23,47,690,203,550,0.101,0.741,0.158,0.993,0,1,3,0,0,0,32.0,6,0,3,4,35,28,2,0,17,1,53,11,0,4,9,103,111,39,2,12,16,1,5,2,5,2,6,8,0,3,20,36,1,0,23,1,0,8,17,5,0,1,42,13,71,23,55,60,14,43,0,0,0,4,94,17,0,12,18,293,91,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06303309041166376,0.0,0.0,0.10128156980644493,0.0,0.0,0.12416161594041505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511010876658708,0.0,0.1502489388353099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854998823863131,0.0,0.05178777578169787,0.0,0.06386930649557497,0.1076522765507954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052425904328071996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548894050746398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962008893178799,0.14115764219019658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288513259276607,0.0,0.0,0.055051777738761916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057373832897106375,0.0,0.030772881332067195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055625365277966285,0.051767883089151666,0.0,0.0,0.047020646695745086,0.0,0.06359416533517324,0.058382906683111635,0.10376521968161716,0.15314061945183502,0.097351352124371,0.06709888095456233,0.0,0.120522863808634,0.0,0.0,0.21807610087202384,0.0,0.0,0.064691831643848,0.06859417077117838,0.0,0.20396744447378126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870406054167806,0.0,0.06352251666740706,0.0,0.0,0.13466618148433473,0.0,0.20068392982789016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059466701081285676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051741393601554136,0.2197157945051695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06131051878120245,0.12266607465274958,0.0,0.06145172342824589,0.0,0.0,0.06468504598855752,0.17895778704281184,0.04512726594805504,0.14081803482044564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839726057350478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04628712848018348,0.06475982905780887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438597108853345,0.05314101326147636,0.0,0.0,0.057532814211678725,0.06861103334777402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647049720311495,0.0,0.06118158023098316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339326457799736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367672625673464,0.04839868700641612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05034440814053863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156687713526843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27625495195686184,0.0,0.0,0.0915189956895144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129897213175235,0.03899693053093844,0.0,0.09663282700819048,0.14195291354216885,0.0,0.0,0.3489287124192042,0.0,0.12396078859478316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769124280607427,0.09661641353823594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05641826367876102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320011630767731,0.0,0.06180675960954099,0.06202201646577625,0.04323353037769338,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,KillerWhale1189,2019/04/17,"Faking feelings? I'm a 29(m) year old I've been diagnosed with bipolar type 2, this I for sure I've known pretty much my whole life but also while I was talking to a psychiatrics about being bipolar and my mood swings and manic episodes and down episodes and how irritable I can get. This I have no issues with, but what I do have issues with is that we never really got into how I fake my feelings. If I'm supposed to be happy, I pretend to be happy. If something sad happens, I pretend to be sad. Someone dies? Pretend to be sad. I've done this since I was about 5, I noticed first at my bday party where I literally got everything i wanted. My mom busted her ass off, having my cake,all the toys I liked and my friends and cousins all at the party. I feel nothing, like wtf. And my mom ask me if I was alright, I knew right there and then I didn't want to disappoint her. So I proceeded to pretend to be happy the rest of the party. I know then something was up and didn't want anyone to know something was wrong with me. So I've pretty much have faked feelings my whole life. Pretty sure it ruined my first marriage. Didn't feel a thing or miss beat when my ex left me. I've never thought about her since. Didn't get help from a dr until after the divorce. Now I know it was probably mostly my fault, not knowing I was bipolar and faking these feelings. Does anyone have any idea what this is or have similar problems?",1.973424971363116,3.9428991030927847,3.4545704467353966,89.49143184421537,78.58762886597938,5.685681557846508,24.179839633447884,6.605766666666668,0.7681784650630008,1113,39,228,10,27,366,144,291,0.195,0.634,0.171,-0.4429,0,0,3,0,1,0,32.0,1,0,0,3,12,23,0,0,9,1,29,8,1,2,5,50,53,27,1,7,8,4,6,2,1,0,7,0,0,0,11,16,0,0,14,5,0,0,8,13,0,2,17,6,40,9,27,30,7,23,0,6,0,1,14,9,1,6,16,158,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969317754173874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677680605324629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393606299128671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316293218978906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114659774905027,0.10342500153138777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720778819173199,0.1019805256346215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956248804151364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30232799761297474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953109098580074,0.0,0.0,0.0769923460020527,0.0,0.10413008593606747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15940463420307424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812360328570709,0.31825024775045024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679589993602063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124971086679996,0.0,0.20802553456248948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21906868079093944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082742399607291,0.0,0.14077697520481966,0.09737171108846733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334268563945384,0.0,0.0,0.14651414674193156,0.0,0.15371844245896546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562059239083512,0.11345661101017683,0.1045699909650456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041514883209034,0.1074437452347541,0.09535531144135448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384083188537253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510387511779895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486945047379198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443641518446397,0.2301552929059251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878452185478972,0.0,0.0,0.08009801966081576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066205614542702,0.0,0.0,0.07911405494178743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17633533373471508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22252001229221186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895588165808194,0.0,0.06417383603699897
mentalhealth,babytrish,2019/04/17,"My mental health is effecting my relationship- advice ? I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and he has always been my rock through everything. He supports me and helps me through my dark times but he always lights the fire when I start having bad days, sometimes he can make me incredibly angry and hot headed. Recently my best friend died of suicide and I wasn’t dealing too well with it and I just feel like my mental health isn’t helping our relationship and that it’s putting such strains and pressures on us. But I don’t want breaking up to be the solution, I don’t know where to step next to what to do about it because I love him so much.",6.874253246753247,6.194121901515158,6.514285714285716,81.94500000000005,64.83333333333333,9.664069264069264,34.00865800865801,8.841846274778883,2.568974891774892,529,20,109,7,7,165,89,132,0.181,0.621,0.198,-0.0231,0,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,2,0,0,2,10,9,0,2,3,0,12,4,1,2,0,18,19,11,2,1,4,0,3,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,3,1,0,2,4,3,1,0,3,4,19,6,14,15,2,15,0,0,0,1,14,4,0,0,9,73,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15559421329965614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649782710386699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294740852032866,0.0970629468056962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16709830268210754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268786743234533,0.16415544582142905,0.0,0.0,0.16525188374974706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310243793114816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050966139083722,0.11375138516120176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230179359222949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634122421605496,0.3385004741152965,0.0,0.0,0.21345222388683496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750667545382683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777899852214266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437080592726031,0.0,0.10628487073399012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209255587043404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704973839300932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693391024142135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006652918197528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572168790088352,0.34189916920011026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574789992637511,0.0,0.11270127851831566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741678582993714,0.18068825274749534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284620506768683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152977637293356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391586702066604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316367251768886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253659304363738
mentalhealth,snappysnackshack,2019/04/17,"Mental Health Break A year ago I moved from my hometown to a different state (WI to AZ) with my mom. And it's been really hard. Right before we moved I was diagnosed with T1 Diabetes (it runs in my family and we didn't realize that till I got diagnosed), which messed with me a lot and made me feel like I didn't want to live. I was admitted to the psych ward of my local hospital (in WI) and spent several days there.

Since moving to AZ I've seen two people romantically, one I dated and the other was more casual dating. We didn't call each other bf/gf, but we didn't see anyone else during our time together. I ended things with him a few days ago because I've been really sick since the start of 2019--in the ICU twice for multiple days, lots of ER visits, etc--and it's been very taxing on me mentally. I feel unsafe with myself and like I have to constantly pretend that I'm okay. My mother is also having a very rough time mentally, and I don't wanna put this on her. But the guy I was seeing flat out said that I either choose him or he's gone. And my response was ""I choose me""--which he didn't like at all and hung up on me instantly. 

I don't really know what I'm looking for here. Maybe just a recommendation for psychologists near Phoenix, AZ? My med doctor is in Wisconsin, and while he's amazing, I can't go up there as often as he wants to see me. And I become an anxious mess on the phone and start crying nearly every time I answer it, so calling him isn't a great option. I guess I would also like some input on where to go from here. I feel like I need to be hospitalized, but every time I'm admitted I panic and become mute. 

​

Has anyone ever taken a social media break? Did that help you? How do you manage to stay off of your platforms? I feel like it might help to stop looking at Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, but I don't know. I wish I could just lock down those apps for a week so I can't look at them, but still use my phone in case of an emergency.

​

Anyways, thank you.",4.080286195286194,4.471130131578949,5.494189261031369,83.24617667907144,70.6507177033493,8.776324650008862,24.81162502215134,8.841846274778883,1.5449869572922204,1577,39,336,27,27,533,217,418,0.093,0.8029999999999999,0.104,0.5546,1,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,5,4,1,0,16,14,0,1,17,1,30,6,0,3,2,66,65,29,0,7,9,2,6,6,0,2,6,1,0,1,16,25,0,1,12,2,2,9,11,3,1,3,21,14,55,11,50,40,8,58,0,0,7,0,32,23,0,8,28,216,71,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404585807255945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267144069597182,0.0,0.17168321749102494,0.19253713092510147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950311161415743,0.0,0.11079367216655993,0.0811766556225404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048295586632155926,0.17499833720997984,0.0674157034381009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179771849668986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561543058001532,0.0,0.06325571390491343,0.0,0.08702631541738999,0.15328313102562222,0.0,0.0,0.16082595204653996,0.0,0.08277456877418607,0.0,0.08109142395115937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618336576220073,0.0,0.07017094187935644,0.0,0.08835821123342008,0.0,0.07166467888911024,0.13350306520501487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468745751898886,0.0,0.1602366898755039,0.1697977464328794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005220725875769,0.0,0.06336446955918637,0.08734722028861203,0.08727664639180692,0.07844644340667907,0.0,0.0,0.07097115835452346,0.0,0.0,0.08421379893496989,0.0,0.0,0.10620737067863267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870813500796007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322356631864629,0.0,0.06995823021846295,0.0,0.19959028900950054,0.0,0.0,0.13471064913929634,0.0,0.07496579333516311,0.0,0.0,0.07959341682977833,0.0,0.08800250344058642,0.0,0.23952427728016795,0.08404653120102827,0.0,0.09278882643691072,0.0,0.2526148967447436,0.0,0.058745260482910164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368575737326038,0.0,0.0,0.09295493409430948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492550621619123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964426366007395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522630933105886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765878459218057,0.0753623063531409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18939919131427424,0.0,0.0,0.08950311161415743,0.0,0.13107354535850632,0.0,0.0,0.08076118465068817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215349501250918,0.08444464108337657,0.06327018556926355,0.06623669249417964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294088659288324,0.0,0.0,0.052634400101491695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847898539198372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739253419938075,0.0,0.0,0.06842604256862725,0.0,0.13073990694390622,0.09345938983102108,0.0,0.06355051887471809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110627753444156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628005486875435,0.0,0.19253713092510147,0.051019107448059584
mentalhealth,ihyaicr,2019/04/17,"13m and i need advice on something bugging me When I was about 11 I was considering suicide because of something I did. I started telling myself in my head ""if x does y my soul goes to the devil"" one day I lost and I was scared of eternally burning in hell. I don't currently believe in heaven, hell, jesus, satan, etc. I eventually forgot about the mental torture over time,(nobody knows about this) but I recently started thinking about ""what if"". If heaven and hell exist, did I actually lose my soul?",2.3623863636363645,5.063372208333334,4.161553030303029,80.7705681818182,82.125,5.990909090909091,28.518939393939394,7.348242739294969,2.044304166666667,396,19,68,6,11,133,64,96,0.261,0.675,0.064,-0.961,1,0,2,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,2,5,10,4,1,2,0,6,1,1,0,0,11,13,8,1,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,8,0,1,7,0,16,2,12,6,1,12,10,2,0,0,1,5,3,3,7,48,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.2136641468571466,0.0,0.0,0.21395593746713407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347021933997075,0.0,0.0,0.2466822853340095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120498749317426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19160509645431856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24418773341827396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247064252815885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032949287965035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449496532513251,0.2390103829730466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22065065054030086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16234905399445448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836655503570698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161872477173074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21920769068168805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371176513100517,0.0,0.0,0.30994864381867204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23949635792250465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19137242601021334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402946676998539,0.0,0.0,0.1276718229055541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,shivanimadhavan,2019/04/17,"A person suffering from depression looks like me. Like you. Normal. I wanted to show [pictures of me](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvb3ELDA4Ph/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet) from my last depression wave. A person suffering from depression looks like me. Like you. Normal. But the truth is, they need help.  


Only people who were with me during this time know that I really had a bad time handling things. To the outside world, there was nothing wrong with my life! But in reality, I was panicking over the smallest thing, getting angry for no reason, crying every second day, feeling claustrophobic, completely detaching myself from things that used to interest me, sleeping more than usual, feeling tired and acting like nothing is wrong with me. I had been constantly putting on weight and that added to the depression.  


In the end, I ended up burning bridges in my professional and personal life trying to save myself from falling further into depression. Moving away from what made me panic has helped me improve my mental health. I still have a long way to go but I am happier than before.",6.7638299232736525,9.906172250000004,5.9463938618925845,71.70781329923275,68.34782608695652,8.89462915601023,30.388746803069054,9.478462496947786,3.4592593350383645,890,36,125,21,17,270,118,184,0.159,0.696,0.145,-0.5757,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,2,1,0,2,19,0,1,9,0,11,6,1,3,1,22,22,6,0,4,3,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,0,3,9,7,1,0,4,1,0,5,1,11,0,1,7,5,23,8,27,15,1,26,0,7,2,0,9,10,0,0,15,90,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101385386359588,0.0,0.08977050937748117,0.0,0.0,0.09148732095538746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272740090246253,0.11618548760526295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11810014646610985,0.0693382614139436,0.0,0.4630124322949222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904527032741844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058599964141588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872559899140667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617213451523737,0.0,0.06110323535960361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428338590444427,0.0,0.0,0.14413003667647542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059087415970344365,0.08763905070481505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518820063724612,0.2626319187231998,0.0,0.0,0.09514736550179204,0.180570993591095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173326459207699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834980236841607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427139849208527,0.0,0.07972098823151047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21068368679712765,0.20632702757980728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176997979639758,0.0,0.12614565236542075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453734307543955,0.28163377531259154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080822410822262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887684311393992,0.11054329616028713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075926164219647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08586159424112355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21428450686422584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12538568770098074,0.12357264237931527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299560743098364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285841427036147,0.1184125502907662,0.0,0.0634151151564856,0.08534037909053101,0.0,0.13092426924086098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23510148429078306,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LaserBeamLove,2019/04/17,"Studies related to the generational transition from no internet to internet? I am wondering if there have been any professional scientific studies relating to the specific experience of being part of the generation (born between 1980-1990ish) that can say that their formative years occurred before the advent of the internet? I am personally struggling with the wealth and bombardment of information I have to process on a daily basis now vs the large swath of my life that was spent with relatively little exposure to this kind of influx and I would like to know if there are any mental health professionals that have done studies on or specialize in ways of dealing with this. Sometimes I feel as though it's more than I can bear, being exposed to so much constantly. I know the appropriate course of action would be to disconnect and not engage for a while (and ultimately not at all) but unfortunately in my line of work I can't remain relevant unless I do.

I am the kind of person that wishes that I could live in a cabin out in the wilderness and never use a phone outside a landline again, but I know that it's unrealistic considering I'm a UI/UX designer for web and mobile. I find myself in a quandary.

Anyways, any reference to thoughts about ways to cold with this dichotomy would be welcome.",11.368151260504206,9.044783630252102,11.094521008403364,57.910773109243706,57.235294117647065,14.898151260504205,44.80840336134454,13.348371206891418,6.0538978151260485,1056,50,173,32,10,351,144,238,0.042,0.913,0.045,0.4295,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,8,8,0,1,17,0,22,2,0,1,2,37,32,16,0,7,9,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,0,2,12,11,0,0,9,0,2,1,5,1,0,0,5,3,17,7,41,19,4,20,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,4,8,136,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093906480582047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904675401681098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388456764004405,0.0,0.1210837258405248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563490630082242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519513994992595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834713729971533,0.0,0.0,0.07668103886885247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860940582541534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16120157236007296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158495129656954,0.2500359335453357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711801215320503,0.07409069641237552,0.15199758457653836,0.13391364424080449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283200063127111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148345905631717,0.0,0.11696524920736807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16422697411753304,0.0,0.0,0.2648376055177631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060169340311536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499901136703329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854214281220078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489997120595828,0.1203966811534899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098073940302454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407524625968105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17439511548180012,0.0,0.1644627652412264,0.1104062346264156,0.0,0.0,0.3231928776076283,0.0,0.0,0.09766048373361692
mentalhealth,weedislif,2019/04/17,"help with a hoarding issue? http://imgur.com/gallery/vU3znX2 pics for reference. 

so some time ago I started collecting empty boxes of soup, yes I have consumed them all. 
its really the only thing I eat during the day. 

well a while back my roommate told me he would toss them in the bin and I almost started crying and told him they are off limits. he then jokingly said well what's what's going to happen when the shelf fills up. I automatically replied well they will go in my room. 

I CAN NOT get rid of them. the thought causes anxiety. I want to get rid of them because they take up space but I can't. 

I'll be seeing a counselor in the next few weeks. I also have PTSD anxiety and depression. (if that matters) 
I also think I have a undiagnosed mental issue that needs to be looked at. 
anyone else gone through this. 

I can answer any questions.",2.4867961826857545,5.1366744110429465,3.433691206543969,86.57367246080436,80.96319018404907,6.076209952283572,21.93899113837764,7.3871296695380915,0.9694569870483978,671,21,126,10,18,214,111,163,0.077,0.861,0.062,-0.6441,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,7,1,8,5,0,0,10,1,11,1,0,1,1,21,29,11,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,7,4,1,1,5,1,0,4,2,1,3,0,5,3,23,4,16,20,3,24,0,1,2,0,15,9,0,4,11,86,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277394323830242,0.0,0.14429926241184965,0.0,0.0,0.23047970919496025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799560869591432,0.0,0.22047821225462425,0.0,0.0,0.100760813053042,0.14765149780679804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080702124200456,0.0,0.08784441350791185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803442345116333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158291392044199,0.09293510846142164,0.0,0.1241164971167336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474542880933209,0.12038033606758584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057670346010035,0.0,0.16379515983498802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743062257659524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658982153526643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008141110070402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210110012291167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452228600709827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685123244894708,0.0,0.0,0.15325615618605787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959752647819176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684497736507555,0.0,0.16142937270439112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923166626151821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707582957046932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483216887287727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20399499580106015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083482156128268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573624278492203,0.09233597474646776,0.0,0.1144024177393808,0.08402815594434042,0.0,0.0,0.27539494638512874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499622697456878,0.0,0.115591474251938,0.0,0.3887001969906326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236729185616952,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,UslessPerson,2019/04/17,Help! I feel lost. Suicide. I was broken up with like idk how long anymore and I don’t care but I feel very Suicidal. I’m only 14. But I don’t care anymore. Like for example I was sitting in front of a open window and I wouldn’t care if I fell to my death. My parents don’t know about the relationship I had and I’m not planning on telling them. Now that they broke up with me it destroyed me. I’m good at hiding my emotions around my parents but when I’m alone I’m so sad. Always crying. I have self harmed before. My mom saw the scar. She told me to stop. I said I will. But I kept doing it. I wanted to go to therapy. But I didn’t want to talk about it with her. I have social anxiety and that adds to the problems. I’m not taking this stuff very lightly. I tired to overdose on Tylenol before. My mom asked who’s been taking all the pills and I said it wasn’t me. I don’t care if I die. I don’t want to live anymore. If I die tomorrow I wouldn’t care. Can anyone give me advice?,-1.7330889540566972,0.1843900829493066,1.0040385421030606,99.57627426337105,99.78341013824884,3.7362938137131687,16.253176930596286,5.565023196281405,-0.7429987711213517,756,21,183,6,33,258,113,217,0.28,0.588,0.132,-0.9912,2,1,0,0,0,2,26.0,0,0,2,2,7,14,1,0,5,0,18,3,0,1,1,34,46,16,5,9,10,4,2,2,0,3,3,2,1,1,9,11,0,2,3,0,0,3,11,6,0,0,12,6,38,8,22,31,1,17,0,3,1,0,20,8,0,3,7,112,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969155436901277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566067109827416,0.0,0.0,0.08488778327181187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804407436828108,0.0,0.3035255985634072,0.07133389106256366,0.0,0.0,0.09081832820011623,0.09537377177543636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362090635393024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.520074639769523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206282059552668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21175873837534406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475737689390828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316750366953648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786569340829923,0.05797961397003381,0.08556849805929953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06838102629761528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606684405965637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968242875628447,0.0,0.09008443669655353,0.0902833948086935,0.0,0.0,0.11136553101068376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389662841727337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758986631445942,0.0,0.0,0.22655952615114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976181781446781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095299718807358,0.0,0.0,0.1940864111277672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642781915298932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399528123402307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529225386845564,0.0,0.0,0.11678707572648925,0.22318393655870836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534108265934682,0.08199881720374126,0.08916889541921534,0.0,0.11666734638068438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725556036835395,0.0,0.09748329985326697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835232729620045,0.18051992869116024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BenignRolandic,2019/04/17,"Benign Rolandic Epilepsy and Buproprion TL;DR:  
I was diagnosed with benign rolandic epilepsy as a child but grew out of it. I've been taking bupropion for depression and I'm paranoid about it. Do you think this is safe?  


Hey /r/mentalhealth, 

When I was a child I had two seizures where I lost my ability to speak / move but never lost consciousness. After the second seizure I was diagnosed with benign rolandic epilepsy, and started taking tegratol. After a few years I was taken off of the tegratol and have been seizure free since. I ""grew out of"" the epilepsy, which is common with the type I had.

A year or so ago I started taking bupropion for depression. I was really worried about this as everyone says not to take this medication if you have a history of epilepsy, but my psychologist insisted that since I grew out of my benign rolandic epilepsy I should be okay. The doses started as 150mg XR and titrated up to 300mg XR. 

This worked great and I never had a seizure during the 6 months I used the medication, but then I slipped up and forgot to take the medication for a few days. When I realized I forgot to take the medication I was worried that it had been too long since the last time I took it, and taking a 300mg XR dose would be too much. I kept putting off taking the dose because I was nervous, but I was also embarrassed to ask my psychologist for more 150mg pills so I could re-titrate back up.

Months passed without me taking bupropion, and I started to think I no longer needed it. However eventually I started to feel the way I did before the medication. I talked to my psychologist and they said that if I wanted to I could restart the medication, going straight back to 300mg XR with no titration. They said since I handled it well the first time I should be fine.  


This is my second day after restarting the medication, and during lecture I had a really strong deja vu feeling. Then, I thought about how I have deja vu quite often lately, maybe twice a month. I decided to look up ""frequent deja vu"" and found that it can be caused by partial seizures. I already felt really weird at this point but after I read that I felt a buzzing in my head and a tingling sensation in my mouth / on my lips. It reminded my of what it was like to not be able to speak during a seizure as a child, but not as intense (I could talk just fine, with some stumbling). This continued for about 20 minutes, I was zoning out during lecture, focussing / testing different areas of my forehead / mouth, and feeling extremely buzzy (I'm sure that doesn't make sense, but idk what else to describe the feeling with).  


I can't tell if I was just panicking because I was anxious, or if I was experiencing the effects of a partial seizure and the panic was justified.  


After lecture I had a really hard time working on problems with a study group for another 10 minutes or so, but once I got into the problems all of the feelings I've been describing went away and I've been fine since (it's been about 7 hours since then).  


My main issue is what I should do tomorrow.  
Do you think this medication is safe for people with a history of benign rolandic epilepsy?  
Is it safe for me to stop taking the medication tomorrow?  
If it is safe, should I do that?

Obviously I will contact my psychologist about all of this, but I'd like a group of people to talk about this with as well.  


Thanks",6.8833648119789,6.591692765696787,7.187382593159777,75.83995427088652,64.6814701378254,10.318342691849585,35.90305427939425,9.861636050157227,3.419598638761272,2668,116,504,50,36,869,248,653,0.097,0.775,0.128,0.9633,2,0,0,0,0,0,71.0,0,3,2,8,24,32,0,3,41,1,58,21,5,5,6,102,106,50,0,17,24,0,8,2,0,6,16,5,0,3,33,30,0,8,16,1,1,9,10,10,2,5,42,15,70,23,83,50,8,72,0,4,1,0,22,21,0,10,43,359,103,8,0.05752303987690325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050990704109253535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347810490516285,0.04600115420705765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603179228371744,0.0,0.06498466177856474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05377627724530857,0.0,0.054044789507031836,0.08846333395997917,0.0,0.0701310223988143,0.0,0.04894787016316464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909200740417056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778239994805627,0.0,0.0,0.07419520391649237,0.0,0.0990890199132815,0.1167693492491597,0.0,0.06009933351642464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048053118621893216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05496572969809914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454268866786148,0.0,0.11046227819817546,0.0,0.0,0.04892906833363537,0.0,0.06307104415645297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03269166918101828,0.0,0.046006429819257316,0.0634193545384559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05152934505320755,0.0,0.05903523431110901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566486071447512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06003910867654112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688895499753594,0.06488849450840459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620570336575794,0.0,0.0,0.05090608014655863,0.04830486594880485,0.0,0.1255863862719534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03839707579155791,0.0,0.057789625178409035,0.0,0.0,0.5215356985072971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377430248837963,0.061137887942760434,0.04228605299532154,0.042652605196932064,0.0887306290719815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061260160119971166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749089326422904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975846604892907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05437786577329615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008356101194183,0.0,0.057826543046510866,0.0,0.06118283356002197,0.05753860642843174,0.0,0.14740292922704762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943516713304484,0.045744630115876185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855019180772003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035755184716677,0.0,0.0,0.048091837048313366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05421478432676718,0.0,0.4325016715678988,0.13870452155709326,0.050277672283027534,0.052959486654510834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057532382371096,0.0,0.045666868276355466,0.10062644142076556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391021385036462,0.0,0.0,0.05619165153513202,0.0,0.0,0.04968143735982195,0.0,0.0,0.03392857928996993,0.04565911157717178,0.0,0.0,0.1034402421774128,0.05332443426456506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055450157726869814,0.0,0.08375491625296796,0.11683487845959604,0.0,0.040862717111910515,0.0,0.0,0.07408590342756244
mentalhealth,theworriedlesbian,2019/04/17,"I keep forgetting who I am As the title says. Most of the time I just have to keep reminding myself who I am, what my personality is, how I would react to things, what I would usually say in situations... it’s scaring me

I dissociate a lot and I just snap back into reality and become so aware of everything around me. I’m a human on earth and I’ve had all these experiences and this is my life and I can’t believe it blah blah and I just get thrown into remembering I exist 

It happens multiple times a day, like I remember I’m a person with a life and I just... I don’t know who I am anymore, I feel so fake, I don’t know what my personality is and it feels like I’m just remembering a lie sometimes

I have a major depressive disorder, I’m sure there’s other things but that’s all I’m really diagnosed with. Sometimes I’m scared I don’t know who my girlfriend is, like I’m worried I’m going to forget.",0.3262926136363617,2.521561619791669,3.7313446969697006,83.8549431818182,86.44791666666666,7.240909090909091,21.748106060606066,8.296473431620573,1.4812833333333333,709,25,153,18,22,259,96,192,0.118,0.831,0.051,-0.8440000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,2,9,0,16,3,0,2,3,40,34,13,0,2,6,0,2,5,1,2,3,2,0,4,17,13,0,2,8,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,4,26,4,13,31,5,11,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,2,8,104,43,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125353451779263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11252155645443852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719272507636233,0.0,0.0,0.13959732851897136,0.0,0.1424079436962538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151664348873228,0.0,0.1088669332186226,0.1282919233414113,0.0,0.0,0.14486375191947948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359891588835787,0.12364208961917507,0.0,0.0,0.12782186501865578,0.09029918862269017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603805416959747,0.0,0.0718352400427402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177386890806247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246977754663357,0.0,0.0,0.20839610299298866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855814543581186,0.1852559211963359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745957386062414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310991592287825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097418294395414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295549383748213,0.0,0.0,0.20103448782898595,0.2530941079138758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207732784323002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500229045734763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912918928715895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16794723331686362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740808601894034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392102058778024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283639188479032,0.0,0.1795798847883268,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,tbh-idk,2019/04/17,"Lost myself Hi I'm 18 f when I was 14 or 15 I was quiet, not shy just liked to listen more, I only talk when I really felt like I needed to, I was funny happy I noticed thing no one else did, I acted really mutre for my age come to find out, I was comfortable in my own skin, but then my mom side of the family kept telling me and my mom there was something wrong with me why was i so quiet, do i have something wrong with me normal people don't act like you(at this time I don't know better because I was homeschooled) it was ok I didn't see them that much at the time, but then we started going around them more and they kept telling my mom so I started hearing it every day from her and them, and it made me feel horrible it gave me social anxiety to the point were I could not talk to people my mind would just go blank, any kind of silence scared, me I started to just talk about anything I started sounding ditty and stupid and talked about things I really did't care about, acted childishly, people would get weirded out about how surprised I would get  when I had anything with them since I thought I was not normal, I still act this way and I'm 18 and I hate it I feel like I lost myself and im scared that I will never feel or act that way again I'm scared I will always feel like a different person i feel like i acted this was for so long i can't go back to feeling like my self  and i don't know what to do 

Sorry for the long wall of text",1.7097081375216412,3.1464689999999997,3.1894694533762085,93.5004693297057,77.64951768488746,5.942171654711848,20.00012367054168,6.490185161304077,0.004293989611674487,1133,25,259,9,26,372,147,311,0.149,0.7290000000000001,0.122,-0.9014,1,0,2,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,5,3,19,24,2,3,5,1,27,1,1,2,1,52,62,23,0,7,10,3,8,7,0,5,0,5,0,2,14,18,0,2,11,0,0,10,10,10,0,1,22,14,55,14,27,34,4,39,0,2,1,0,23,8,0,2,26,168,69,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814101380425924,0.0,0.0,0.05568962120106333,0.0,0.0626474404666848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478088902476268,0.07290157331295076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297017918969962,0.0,0.04992082990234177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724271481625564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834947311424211,0.0,0.0,0.07054302727232427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538439543657767,0.0,0.0,0.05281380518341623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556009888623174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841056864561383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899785543865213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720084013145324,0.0,0.24844346338460355,0.2340157078130196,0.07862951960400201,0.0,0.07484814444555872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557076882310796,0.0,0.13962396673431368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717595282651468,0.0,0.08085176316627253,0.0,0.0,0.09229865505329386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884578146123708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527830354922776,0.09001181201297613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800593350707579,0.0,0.0,0.14494434451788604,0.0,0.0,0.17879039582454373,0.0,0.0,0.0774885425056017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268795087639264,0.2877340691609374,0.0,0.0,0.06020031611164836,0.06072215621838085,0.06316044582725289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16047427441827655,0.0,0.09323500835451028,0.0,0.0,0.05549239069030197,0.06228283915336785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170321578698428,0.0715052605354101,0.0,0.0,0.07741476153831131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573870515220403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24596565197661036,0.0,0.06525761788031725,0.0,0.08543160410773983,0.0,0.0,0.06774221640971066,0.0,0.0,0.08347896035233736,0.0,0.12608949780219744,0.0,0.0916718058793801,0.23185536973040285,0.0,0.06539935410143309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632879464938725,0.1431550854429942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881130627902562,0.0,0.0,0.0650133959386034,0.09550420140324713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300047063095189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389512822877828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17452197448577478,0.17907290630694248,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ennuihunny,2019/04/17,"What does it mean to be gentle with yourself? I have some of mental health problems, and one thing my best friend who is very supportive and helpful to me always says that to heal I need to “be gentle with myself.” I know it sounds silly, but I don’t know what this means. Have you heard this advice before? If so, what does it mean to you and how do you practice being gentle to yourself in the context of mental health?",5.417499999999998,5.4674647976190505,5.431047619047622,86.04728571428574,67.69047619047619,7.196190476190478,25.13333333333333,5.6839178017228535,0.6758647619047617,329,7,66,1,5,103,54,84,0.021,0.7809999999999999,0.199,0.9181,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,0,8,3,0,1,0,16,16,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,0,11,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,10,4,11,12,2,1,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,2,0,51,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006038264300616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480714034696682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14808695659455245,0.0,0.18263404975343564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045901544506269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445536830221255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699721148499393,0.0,0.0,0.11664883320656246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19128498927958565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5687100049380858,0.0,0.0,0.3507631945673475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904125293680174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792742664443585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665234816857987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839586956127614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197487507727276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11561798995936545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359321298601185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,MLRaddish,2019/04/17,"What is wrong with me (Quebec Canada) I've been saying in bed not working for 8 days and the 3 weeks before i did 98h, 78 h and 65h and i felt unhappy that i work to much but yet don't deserve my payday, life's is gray at best i haven't got any real though about killing myself yet i feel dead. I've got thing going my way lately but i don't feel like i have the right to feel joy.

 Right now the only reason i didn't blow my head up is because of my girlfriend. Her and my car payment were the only thing that kept me from ending it i had planned to kill myself by getting into an accident with my car on my 21 birthday 2 weeks after my last car payment. 

So my dad wouldn't have to pay for it nor my tombstone. Now my car is gone, i still got 2ks to repay and my girlfriend has her own mental issues. Which makes her question if she's good enough for me. I'm young and my panic attacks, my temper failure are back stronger then ever.

I feel like shit. I let people walk over me. I cry to sleep every night. People don't help me because all they see is a behemoth of a human being. I'm fucking done i'm crying like pussy right now. I need to open up. But i feel jammed.

I'm done i can't take it any longer i regret moving away. I don't have any friend, people don't have the same mentality from the rural areas i feel so weak. I want to punch my face into oblivion right now. I'm dirt poor, 300 miles away from home, i moved out expecting irrealistic things and it's eating my will to live the more i live there but i don't want to leave because my girlfriend is adament about finiahing her school in the capital. I've got nowhere to go.

And to add to the stress her dad is actively hating on me telling her that i am a piece of shit and so much other beautiful thing that i won't translate. I fear that if she leave me i won't have anything to hold to i've got a nephew but he's 300 miles away and is not 4 months i've only hold him for like 15 min i'm such a fucking looser. I'm not good i need help but i'm too proud to reach out nobody knows of my failed tentative of taking my life

Last time was 2 years ago but idk i need help i'm gonna explose i can't breath i'm gonna fuck up i'm sorry for anyone believing in me i'm a failure",0.4628697562236219,2.154130888663968,2.530606426048756,95.63998147988632,82.21862348178138,5.094943578258248,18.810233439572748,5.8928092327891965,-0.3573581187010073,1745,41,415,11,47,587,232,494,0.232,0.6809999999999999,0.087,-0.9979,0,0,0,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,1,6,18,27,10,3,16,0,39,13,6,2,2,56,84,25,3,10,12,3,7,4,4,6,3,1,2,1,16,18,1,3,10,0,2,10,17,17,0,0,16,10,69,10,52,60,9,61,0,2,2,3,25,25,5,3,29,241,85,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528518672532133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025105778122666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149692911612814,0.0,0.06060665855956071,0.0,0.0,0.08378610280855217,0.2075863181024573,0.056631354447933775,0.0,0.1346868112293844,0.0,0.06266967478154654,0.08297693813325673,0.0772898354135373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617994208026544,0.047497360807501186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15073651441200053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536107333526161,0.0,0.0,0.06523094594320758,0.07609886210976942,0.0,0.0,0.06661952468430729,0.062052261209584826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287533653690672,0.22343417179773872,0.10522938529060928,0.07071436435571361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690085337632424,0.2042612902755185,0.03847844012802422,0.0,0.08371258111173611,0.1235461801815506,0.29451822776168896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07271290818175956,0.0755848808660483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809564479167076,0.0,0.07387571654814283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687017642218685,0.0,0.0,0.16296289366183886,0.0,0.040475435326706666,0.1200671469768467,0.08307901517165768,0.15596681681878685,0.0,0.0753108523747119,0.10404060196682816,0.14392426632899247,0.0,0.1300664181338442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916112272909876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844126609379346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058785741811432736,0.1565539641022744,0.10828063326057938,0.16382887880721314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911437712889898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803961425100944,0.0,0.08641095756538722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15317634184182372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250347244660394,0.0,0.0,0.08382841867691569,0.0,0.07572319691188227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515825726212204,0.0,0.058568454210730723,0.0,0.07453648240248327,0.058688530605493026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119879843639747,0.0,0.0,0.07370195355647416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244376303897441,0.0,0.0,0.058815999103747435,0.0,0.08436441181676871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074941160579012,0.0,0.06437226707203468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571586846740802,0.0,0.07235953797103409,0.0,0.042945187313512066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687989989409006,0.05845896182647513,0.11815319419558995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723435658042554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052336327755706,0.0,0.04742739018291763
mentalhealth,angeliccatastrophe,2019/04/17,"I finally took a shower and brushed my teeth ! I hadn’t showered in a week, I didn’t brush my teeth either during this time (but I did use mouthwash most of the days). I was finally able to push myself to do it for a job interview ! Now if I get this job I just have to push myself through work every day...",3.6510000000000034,3.5459039076923102,5.089038461538461,87.51971153846155,71.46153846153845,8.346153846153845,27.01923076923077,8.07648339933343,1.415230769230769,234,7,54,3,4,79,46,65,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,4,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,0,6,2,2,1,0,7,9,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,5,2,11,0,7,4,2,11,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,7,38,14,4,0.250947893538648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323681261862348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143442360020998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5498023022709181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311099168815999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980541248838175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632973479188754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27881234329191257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673840742943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129526325310995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18269305527112284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Specialist_Term,2019/04/18,I see signs everywhere that I'm not wanted I see ghosts of people in the future very dangerous. Depression. Numb all over. I'm scared and can't leave my room.,1.1156250000000014,3.6526993125000047,2.64875,90.32125,87.125,6.95,17.375,8.07648339933343,0.8357250000000005,126,3,26,3,4,41,27,32,0.358,0.61,0.032,-0.9151,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,6,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,6,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32754220593835764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4026709541010433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636443869844376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38073545366450656,0.0,0.6060819114147764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137781059764512,0.22430420070189186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Greninjasheik1,2019/04/18,"I find no enjoyment in anything anymore. I spend most of my days doing nothing but sitting at my computer now. All the things I used to enjoy (gaming, singing, going for drives, and others) I find no enjoyment in anymore. I barely eat some days, sometimes only having some chips or a pop tart for the entire day. I have no friends and no social life. I am incredibly lonely all the time. Every time I try to tell myself to do something during the day I always find an excuse to not do it. What can I do to fix myself? If I can do anything at all.",2.1392727272727257,4.066689836363636,4.147272727272728,84.92090909090909,77.9090909090909,5.854545454545455,23.72727272727273,6.742157984588678,0.9106545454545456,422,14,81,4,10,144,69,110,0.115,0.741,0.14400000000000002,0.6609,0,2,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,6,0,10,2,0,1,3,16,12,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,3,2,1,2,5,1,0,0,0,1,15,4,12,12,6,14,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,5,7,64,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581016268298888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475735078255809,0.0,0.0,0.2884081444944706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4520501880305311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17930989634063785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764365782973374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4804868393715298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538668796837028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959050194770247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377417629719828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814340616434226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332746667872932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17863075569357406,0.0,0.13490502386688585,0.17331261474229218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316374920177248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641883048489032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20436272321275567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897355583948672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15134740464769048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheOneNamedZoe,2019/04/18,"Lamictal and Rage? I just started getting on Lamictal and its shown signs of me getting very snappy. I would say things that with a different tone would be okay but now they sound threatening.
Is this common? How can I easily tell my mom to ""Bear with me"" if it is?

Originally posted on r/bipolar",1.8945864661654144,4.6008507894736885,3.526065162907269,84.28578947368423,84.96491228070175,7.4676691729323315,23.932330827067666,8.418075326091056,2.0470120300751886,233,9,44,6,7,77,47,57,0.124,0.8,0.076,-0.598,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,1,6,0,0,2,0,12,9,5,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,6,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,4,32,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3387888228258851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33883107213836816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797762736247546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105570728136929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578692388215556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295170552609768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834226672836133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21542783870221816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26755330668484834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4606983478120573,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,muddywaffles86,2019/04/18,"I think I need help Lately I've been feeling like nothing matters. Everything just feels so boring and gray. I dont enjoy anything I used to do and have no interest in trying new things. I'm always tired, and I've kinda stopped working out.
I'm afraid to talk to anyone about it, not for being judged, but I just feel like nobody really cares. People care enough to be like ""hey we're here for you."" But then when you open up they're just like ""damn bro that sucks, maybe you need help.""
I work in a career where PTSD is common and, free psychological services are a part of our healthcare package. But I'd have to drive like an hour away to get to their building, and I only went once and just kinda gave up.
I feel overwhelmed by all my responsibilities, and to top it all of my dog just started vomiting blood. I just want to give up and I dont know what to do anymore. I'd give anything to just feel happy, and I even started smoking cigarettes again.",3.282037996545768,4.718362834196892,4.223854922279795,87.69657685664944,73.50777202072537,6.597443868739205,24.26563039723661,7.03164865440522,0.8134569257340241,749,22,156,7,15,242,119,193,0.08,0.71,0.21,0.9816,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,3,1,3,14,16,2,2,3,0,11,3,1,1,2,39,34,15,0,3,11,1,5,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,11,0,1,7,0,1,2,4,5,0,0,3,6,18,12,24,29,4,22,0,1,1,0,13,10,2,2,15,93,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583694251590313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614387327639442,0.08893813263623347,0.0,0.20934230953670496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950446890551608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593688167213283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29814463091830523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314270735740909,0.0,0.08401150521443791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431521866179165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215696279999261,0.18173714795887588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645445991593701,0.24403525144171395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540209916119866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17051308139983884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526206083548336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990338448100814,0.0,0.1434821958793353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31070676708399164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12778509321969045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18862787617418034,0.0,0.1228463192069016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204762470044075,0.0,0.0,0.13545918056081066,0.0,0.09673799814804344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377404577547526,0.0,0.08818142519230042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868486922200455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148476908261316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005942433326605,0.0,0.0,0.1063412309969592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223501861246301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450311585336087,0.08150181524214413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619265015601346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635747439410398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985617374595744,0.0,0.0,0.07502327024955842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791161099156128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18519984768808506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rosie_wolf,2019/04/18,"I feel like slowly everyone is beginning to stop liking me Lately I’ve been in worse moods (but I also haven’t been sleeping well because of homework and a lot of stress with a bunch of tests and a terrible teacher and all this other stuff) and the person that I consider my sister seems to be getting more upset with me lately and we don’t normally argue much at all and if we die it’s usually over something stupid that we know is stupid and jokingly argue about but she’s been pretty upset and mostly when I’m around it seems like, I’m not purposefully trying to make her mad at me but it just seems to happen, and I’ve been getting terrible headaches and I felt like I was gonna pass out today I felt so exhausted and it’s not like I can just not go to school tomorrow because I have 3 tests for AP Human Geography, Biology, and Algebra (I’m a freshman, 9th grade) but I can’t really give her space either because our friends birthday party is Saturday and then we have dance practice Sunday and I just feel like I’m only making things worse for everyone",4.8987917222963935,5.590651976635512,6.141522029372499,78.25644859813087,68.95327102803739,9.29185580774366,29.304405874499327,9.424239791934726,2.5607246995994664,849,30,162,17,14,286,122,214,0.175,0.695,0.13,-0.815,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,5,0,0,0,9,21,5,3,5,0,15,2,1,2,2,50,36,23,1,2,12,1,4,6,1,1,1,0,1,2,10,22,0,1,8,2,0,3,6,11,1,0,7,4,22,9,19,27,8,21,0,0,0,0,15,7,0,6,17,109,32,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014615479047746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294526639811504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23202468105582075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167577289702506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24246817772363424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830318963710444,0.1812784365216817,0.24363896785344574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802297816644208,0.0,0.13257345268981344,0.12170964861718805,0.07210574203783858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219476336768294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972694569389085,0.0,0.28624008277701457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719070377385099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786422245794802,0.0,0.0,0.16937952153516636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932674074301902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431014071816088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649382778078416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078198086849524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290770500666647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127909844259754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840383849466255,0.0,0.34650553074753204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12696619744013218,0.0,0.0,0.0976742426266939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060728217066657,0.14533439143428994,0.0,0.1452410283386859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428982679190136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026225744139048,0.0,0.0,0.08613950486153081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397344143081716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407547558181536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585920523468105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,scars-OMalley,2019/04/18,"I don’t know who to turn to, I don’t know who to talk because nobody takes me seriously, and I’m afraid I’ll hurt them the same way I was hurt. Hey guys  I don’t know who to talk to or what to do, because whenever I tell people about what happened, they don’t believe me. I’m sorry if this is a little rambling but I’m tired and stressed and sad and I don’t want to make this post but I think it’s time it happened.


Six months ago I was researching a YouTube personality, he has around 100k subs.

This person was involved in a telegram group dedicated to sharing pedophilia and “hardzoo” otherwise known as zoosadism.

I will spare you the details as I don’t want you to be hurt, but this person shared photos of things no human should ever see.

I was planning to write an article in a blog I was published on about this person, but I scrapped it and decided that it would never be published. I don’t  want anyone else to even think about the things those people did.

That was six months ago. In that time I lost my job, fell into a deep depression and clawed myself back out, and yet I still see them in my dreams. Every photo He posted is seared into my memory that some nights I can’t sleep because every time I close my eyes I keep seeing them. I took trazodone to keep me from dreaming , it worked for a month and I got some sleep for once, then it stopped.

Some nights I don’t think about it, I sleep fine, others I’m wide awake and scared to blink. 

I just want them to go away, I want to clear my head and make the pictures go away. 

I feel trapped, and nobody even really wants to listed to me",3.9251818181818185,4.5166912757575775,4.5630303030303025,89.06454545454545,71.0909090909091,7.454545454545455,25.303030303030305,7.348242739294969,0.9380303030303034,1251,34,276,12,22,400,162,330,0.134,0.7829999999999999,0.083,-0.9638,1,1,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,2,5,3,12,13,0,3,11,0,25,6,5,2,3,54,58,21,0,9,7,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,25,17,0,3,9,3,0,4,11,10,0,2,10,5,43,3,38,43,4,39,0,6,4,0,27,15,0,5,17,176,68,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625249273589484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616259518142559,0.09030459176976384,0.0,0.07845872185218353,0.0,0.0,0.1656112271320444,0.0677702764084122,0.0,0.161178599992253,0.0,0.0,0.099297819867342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591043619947385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07362537642465965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642450361227458,0.07972303763639313,0.14851486195008318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0445636394933216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017815777335648,0.0,0.070489508496838,0.0,0.0,0.08726737992964316,0.15587475266663312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045180569181836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830506103142777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746026113119189,0.1566766477608763,0.0,0.0,0.14530986235003265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08833429571173831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620962414365132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176614230183031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21104524217748286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797504671054899,0.0,0.0,0.16541721410273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386076238167164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220324620576067,0.30782388320933635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16881768949706366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646145589338687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823838223070549,0.0,0.210696246624008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26459556616932284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865977361424004,0.0,0.0,0.07038462271218587,0.07368469949882231,0.10095819822059957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626645530343,0.14167894341812254,0.07703376292224792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710578559217752,0.16941980194580358,0.0,0.0,0.15417645806036012,0.1012980703222284,0.0,0.0,0.09792108581210346,0.0,0.0958654322855344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119053863829573,0.06995735913700336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641632365743181,0.0,0.0,0.06260848443097908,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yeet_heet_yote,2019/04/18,I hate being considered a friend? I don’t know when it started or if it’s bad or not. But awhile ago someone I know said to a group of people and said something about a ‘friend group’ and including my name in it. I don’t know why it made me feel sick but I’ve never really thought about it before. Is it normal or just what is it?,1.3166666666666664,2.639726222222226,3.184444444444445,93.605,78.44444444444444,6.466666666666668,20.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.2480666666666665,256,6,61,3,6,86,47,72,0.107,0.861,0.032,-0.6136,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,3,0,5,1,0,1,1,19,15,9,0,2,8,0,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,8,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,3,6,2,5,10,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,4,4,39,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046603266379407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19277434338796395,0.0,0.0,0.19646104659313435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116739372987724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3567531264625872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279452397353966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3806552250342449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218463317390635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780681385547505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22621242580951545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16006244666420127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790701643558088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4392376501241936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956230500077728,0.17774195440568472,0.0,0.0,0.16341736335560308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18329215768320056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20833241057151444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,frost9786,2019/04/18,"I can't tolerate sudden changes I'm 17. I know that a lot of people who  are autistic experience great levels of stress and anxiety when their routine is interrupted but I'm not autistic. I am depressed and I do have OCD. Anyhow, I really can't tolerate the slightest unexpected change in life. For example, if I planned on revising from 3:00pm to 5:00pm but suddenly unexpected guests arrive it ruins everything. It may be something small like, I planned on relaxing for an hour after revision in the living room but can't now as there are guests. This really gets to me. I put my earphones in and just curl up in a ball as everything is interrupted and I already feel as I have no control over my life due to my mental health but this just further solidifies my lack of control.

I was in the library after class and suddenly the library was closing after a fight took place. I tried to revise when  got home but I just couldn't due to the interruption at the library.",4.0075,6.153432801075269,5.438373655913981,76.77756048387097,73.13978494623656,8.951075268817203,30.97983870967742,9.516144504307137,3.215958064516128,775,36,139,20,16,260,109,186,0.127,0.8009999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.8046,0,0,1,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,1,4,7,7,1,1,10,0,16,3,0,2,0,25,23,16,0,3,10,0,1,1,2,1,3,0,2,0,6,6,0,2,2,2,0,2,6,4,0,0,4,1,19,3,27,16,2,30,0,2,0,0,5,16,0,4,13,100,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18757939680011487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003578756683576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3596368975172109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3812986006633637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640527322465938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055377758324726,0.16627504217843328,0.0,0.0,0.08594802167597332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880859484219336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595015741752578,0.18740578798861776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068294900256449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705058354177524,0.0,0.16739805912061587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341767818630817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24012666928461546,0.08304463365617555,0.0,0.15009724656446205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451264315562573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130190587929672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784413675796213,0.0,0.1775950423526737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708788893415462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21778968190913006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308604711419522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19471384087315585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888562896029794,0.1154066403483302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,IHaveaQueschen,2019/04/18,"Mental Health Academy - Suicide Prevention summit Hi everyone, 

The Mental Health Academy held a Suicide Prevention summit recently, it was live from 12-14 April and available on-demand 15-28 April. [https://www.mentalhealthacademy.com.au/suicideprevention](https://www.mentalhealthacademy.com.au/suicideprevention)

The summit was entirely free, so I'm hoping that it's okay to make this request. 

I'm a health professional and had this on my to do list, but unfortunately got buried in work the last few weeks and missed the registration! I'd really like to access the summit while it's still available on-demand, and wondered if anyone had registered and might be willing to share their access? I've asked around and none of my colleagues had registered either. You'd be helping to spread the professional knowledge so that more community services can do their jobs and support people better!  

Thank you so much Reddit community.",10.538378378378377,12.870629594594595,9.077945945945944,56.33867567567572,57.10810810810811,11.055135135135135,35.07027027027027,11.00357731598739,4.481181621621621,772,30,101,19,10,237,94,148,0.07200000000000001,0.7609999999999999,0.16699999999999998,0.9314,1,0,0,0,0,4,35.0,0,2,2,2,5,9,0,0,8,1,13,3,0,1,0,19,24,13,2,2,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,7,8,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,7,0,6,9,10,12,5,10,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,4,8,62,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154036958224196,0.0,0.0,0.14692554361733454,0.15429532279062194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14596938903849987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15770810923752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13200201469925446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5263071498378384,0.0,0.0,0.11062656251225196,0.0,0.0,0.16392748529922269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378225528353774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345341629666437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806329257781612,0.0,0.1457382567529529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101691955441422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326542186846224,0.1750872614290048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213274798977217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11442181287640155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573241450696863,0.0,0.16296258316683446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180560057773996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610661179898592,0.18729175010514587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15195178072495266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13238959601500527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898487374390404,0.1201551362471879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,losinghope228,2019/04/18,"Is It Dissociation Or Something Else? So this is something Ive struggled with pretty much my whole life, but as an adult it is affecting my personal life more than ever. I feel like I am only half here most of the time. Like I am in a constant fog. I sometimes will completely not register what someone right in front of me is saying. I have zero spacial awareness, Im constantly knocking things over/bumping into things. Sometimes I feel like I under react to things, or I lack emotion. Ive noticed it is worse when I am anxious or stressed. I talked to a therapist briefly about it, and she told me it may be disassociation caused by the large amount of trauma Ive expirienced through out my life since a young age. But I feel like I didnt get the chance to talk to her further about it so I didnt get much information about what Im expiriencing. I just want to be present enough to be a part of the life going on around me. Instead of seamingly floating a long like I have been. Anyone have any similar expiriences or advice on how to improve? Any input is appreciated.",4.160005924170616,5.670080933649287,5.267816943127965,80.78333678909955,71.41706161137441,8.118601895734598,30.72304502369668,8.660442795831766,2.4227936018957346,851,37,165,15,16,281,124,211,0.094,0.774,0.132,0.85,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,2,10,0,23,4,0,4,1,26,31,12,0,2,8,0,3,5,0,2,4,1,0,2,12,5,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,3,0,2,4,4,26,5,28,22,9,21,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,6,14,122,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359959306246248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581099748803706,0.0,0.0,0.13133107377272446,0.0,0.08128573225244125,0.0,0.0,0.10348845688530248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942228475728332,0.0,0.0,0.12188745668819065,0.2512530844303968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711318785109048,0.13076725905796222,0.0,0.12011884662522275,0.0,0.0,0.10515611200935727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17634071173293375,0.24915022462405115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147319210762801,0.0,0.06606839059339396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511430773759219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284474107489949,0.28397298582274977,0.0,0.0,0.102878894561134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091641607397665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235307146083886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841448300091083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588901562815272,0.0,0.0,0.10150630138288834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182695402534284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927812196020924,0.0,0.09244783658219748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616441900556033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849949503430884,0.17899212546451407,0.22995135683860926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316566848303266,0.12153127950784763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186877059444138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497691915426352,0.2316969373929126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778716823337333,0.0,0.0,0.11108326340991727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06856813019844858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12979061698633035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847018168005935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Current_Anybody,2019/04/18,"Advice Needed (Please Read!) For the past few months, I’ve noticed that my younger sister (17) has been exhibiting some signs of an eating disorder. I was apprehensive about discussing this with her at first because I thought that maybe I was just being the over protective big sister. However, I finally decided to talk with her today and it turns out my suspicions were correct. I asked her if she would like to see a doctor but she said no and that she also doesn’t want our parents knowing. I then offered to personally register/pay for her to get treatment without telling our parents and she still said no. I know that overcoming an eating disorder is difficult and requires medical intervention, so I desperately want her to seek help before things get severely out of hand. She may also be leaving home for university this fall, so getting her the right care is quite urgent. Right now, the plan is to persuade her into talking with our parents and seeking out professional help, but I want to make sure I’m doing what’s best for her. If any of you have any suggestions about what to do in this situation, it would be greatly appreciated!",7.8758372827804095,8.125905521327018,7.876978672985786,69.90640007898897,62.507109004739334,11.20394944707741,37.962480252764614,10.864195022040775,4.3080139020537125,919,43,156,22,12,297,133,211,0.103,0.736,0.162,0.9339,4,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,3,1,0,5,9,7,0,1,7,0,18,5,1,1,2,35,36,14,0,8,6,5,1,1,0,3,2,2,1,1,12,12,2,2,4,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,7,4,28,5,28,23,3,19,0,0,1,0,34,10,0,4,9,116,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223354830936792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836966660802221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620868900623472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737255417227444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001365088293285,0.0,0.0977319016847778,0.0,0.120531702489267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710083682914875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632642105482924,0.11755746315619245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23504768568640602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581643715220414,0.0,0.09769436095933004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001869998612124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12662643138513452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396781135560425,0.0,0.11520746344612567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624100188128212,0.0,0.0,0.12161331346105693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056111637310828535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666562863173372,0.0,0.11538581653317186,0.0,0.0,0.1157028565780732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167499846151103,0.0,0.0,0.0851624433057191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307615145375177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3825937866678778,0.0,0.10964069820481633,0.0,0.10028567948916477,0.0,0.12607469512419334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216087552638873,0.11488461924487232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19616858822650668,0.2185040321356544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152339984456154,0.0,0.0,0.12975180645838766,0.0,0.0,0.12910018916343305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172218400584416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082481005613274,0.0,0.0,0.18462984693531287,0.10038705480186792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07630358734859702,0.0,0.0,0.09118088010283136,0.0,0.0,0.10886772478574228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492766858820185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20323077783066992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071471231134544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317731652232229,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,7spt6,2019/04/18,"Do you believe in the saying “you can’t help/love others before you do so yourself?” I hear people say it a lot, and it makes me feel really shitty. I feel like it says, “you’re useless until you get your shit together.” Is that just me?",0.8681632653061229,2.8995354081632674,3.1626122448979617,89.8431020408163,82.6734693877551,5.5526530612244915,17.963265306122448,6.742157984588678,0.07621306122449001,181,4,38,2,5,62,39,49,0.203,0.7440000000000001,0.053,-0.8355,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,5,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,4,1,1,1,0,6,9,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,9,1,2,9,1,2,0,1,0,0,9,1,1,1,2,26,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22298516054198986,0.2952404960680475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650006021921352,0.18720849800604594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369102549081568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953492779093517,0.0,0.1756465214611478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280243424955049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222785450519122,0.0,0.0,0.17492034037809365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18167240267266246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787587349810704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6251777854472703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689904524047702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,paranoidanxiouslady,2019/04/18,"I feel insane Hello, 21F here, OCD and GAD with occasional panic attacks (VERY occasional). The past month has been a real trip for me, with very few days where I feel normal at all. For some reason, no therapists seem to be available and I get quickly discouraged by their unavailability and fail to push harder to get to them. I’m having a hard time coping day to day, and an especially awful time sleeping. I overanalyse everything to the point of borderline breakdowns (and by “everything” I mean something as small as sending a text) and get really terrifying intrusive thoughts. I’m unable to sleep unless it’s past dawn or unless I’ve either taken my PRN Klonopin or some Benadryl or Melatonin. In my head I’m convinced it’s benzo withdrawals, but I don’t know if I’m using Kpin enough to even have withdrawals. I have extreme health anxiety too, so something as fleeting as a flicker of nausea can absolutely convince me that I’m in serious withdrawal and about to seize or die. I’m truly tired of living this way, and “remedies” like meditation or chamomile tea or online Reiki videos are extremely temporary fixes whose effects fade away within a couple of hours at best. I’m exhausted, and with each thought I have and each breakdown I almost experience, I become more and more convinced that I’m completely insane, because the things I worry about are logically STUPID AS HELL. What do I do? Where do I go from here? No one understands at all.",6.4102222222222185,7.618956096296297,6.911111111111115,72.23000000000002,65.81481481481481,9.703703703703702,33.51851851851852,9.861636050157227,3.476962962962963,1166,50,194,25,18,381,166,270,0.195,0.7290000000000001,0.076,-0.9859,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,3,11,13,3,1,9,1,14,7,3,3,2,47,36,27,1,2,11,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,16,1,1,11,1,0,4,3,8,0,1,4,3,19,5,37,31,12,27,1,2,0,0,5,11,1,11,12,129,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852296056037224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818661614896618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460154904726248,0.12058808894356302,0.0,0.0,0.07824034512735849,0.14175136130250865,0.0,0.0,0.13469433292825458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345714605123267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420157018870778,0.0,0.2483234164850526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332059745044498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261880315350394,0.0,0.08477328886412573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307035691943851,0.12554992780841784,0.0,0.0,0.1297941985197632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20117112932509493,0.0,0.07294368147000077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497547314290585,0.0,0.13172307915059675,0.13642896075251354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263978884775082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705372411797966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270482703724542,0.0,0.11333449821163093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980966281693927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244692897349192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257547464566431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697258855762276,0.0,0.0,0.1505898702550862,0.0,0.0,0.24504724319812646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133126938311388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608923506828872,0.08222364127193152,0.13196412491589302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684408827051945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25688333832471155,0.0,0.0,0.19761862621832055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902305487028308,0.08526935723709106,0.0,0.0,0.2037895021412424,0.14968264136474796,0.14751826824021658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361581159559735,0.0,0.11085230679658338,0.0,0.21180269574361568,0.0,0.10187744384193914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13034461641823045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,wierdhairgrows,2019/04/18,"I hate everything... (I know I wrote a lot, but please take time to read it and reply.)

First, I wanna say that I’m only a 13 year old boy.

I don’t hate my life because I’m depressed or anything. I mean, I went through a phase where everything seemed negative.. or maybe I didn’t? Maybe my “change” to thinking positively was an illusion? Idk. But now I have this new problem.

I forgot how to eat.

Let me start by saying that I love food. I mean, food is the most amazing thing in the world, eating, is 100 times better than any activity, because les be honest, I can’t think of a single activity that wouldn’t be better with food involved. 

Anyways, I used to have slight self-confidence issues with my looks a while ago, but then I decided “you know what, who cares what I look like? As long as I get fit, and healthy.” So I chose to not give a fuck what people think of my face, and just eat healthier, because that can’t hurt, right?

Wrong.

The thing is, I also used to be fat. Not too fat, just chubby. I honestly don’t feel like I look different than how I looked before, but when I took a look at old photos, I was shocked. My “chubby” self looked really ugly. To the point where If I met my former self, I would think he was a weirdo.

So, I decided, that I can NEVER, EVER look like that again. NEVER.

I also kept eating healthy, so I can hopefully get abs. 

It was all good at first. I didn’t even crave junk food. I built a mind set that junk food was disgusting anyways.

One day, at my swimming lessons, I did a LOT of exercise. I felt really fit afterwards, and decided “since the day is halfway done, maybe I can fast it till bedtime, and wake up even skinnier the next day.”

And that’s what I did. It felt really empowering. I’ve never been more confident about my weight.

Then I started eating a little junk food.

After that, I stopped eating junk food, but then overate at a bbq we had.

Because I overate, I also fasted all evening again. Nothing much happened, I felt horrible, and fat. I told myself “I’m almost as fat as my chubby self” even though idk if that’s true.

I did some research and decided this was unhealthy, so I began eating normally again. Except I didn’t know how to eat “normally”

How much was “normally”???

What if I ate too much???

What if I ate too little??????

I feel really trapped, to the point where I hate everything. I can’t do a single thing without thinking about my weight.

I can’t eat anything “unhealthy”, because I’ll spend the rest of the week worrying over how to compensate for it.

I can never tell if I’m skinny or fat. 

Sometimes, I feel like maybe I’m just being dramatic or over-exaggerating. I feel like I’m just imagining everything, and it’s driving me crazy.

Nobody knows about this except for me. I can’t tell anyone, because I don’t know what they’ll think of me.",2.081481178396075,4.052420656028371,3.6619858156028373,88.12615384615387,78.25531914893618,6.891653027823242,23.434806328423356,7.882392219407189,1.1856932351336609,2166,71,452,36,52,718,235,564,0.135,0.721,0.14400000000000002,0.7503,2,1,0,0,0,0,105.0,1,1,1,5,38,25,5,0,23,0,43,32,8,7,8,95,103,46,0,13,23,0,9,5,0,3,7,2,0,4,30,12,26,3,27,3,1,4,20,10,0,3,29,18,74,15,45,66,13,64,0,2,7,2,19,20,1,16,44,299,104,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042113573860006914,0.0,0.04757307537819887,0.0,0.0,0.11397801065035244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032307528128018896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033219170177458485,0.0,0.07819118301353736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376508384795675,0.0,0.04042638322839663,0.0,0.0,0.08403512453589122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048438260428922415,0.0,0.050257878702932635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191749520169212,0.0,0.04091915214479636,0.0,0.0,0.049636453647672316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04861786916378415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4375191155206862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255161270361947,0.04297431644203235,0.0,0.0,0.17079093477851354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096087254182619,0.1018206206943506,0.13684733500667462,0.0,0.0,0.08082170933568007,0.4021337485602677,0.0,0.0,0.043921004474061616,0.049642643657198664,0.04557465007781437,0.0,0.039848022539081165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04201176438466225,0.0,0.0,0.14071494237301774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04718683394071849,0.0,0.0,0.05085901916346197,0.0,0.0,0.0495867135374513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13054762654803484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048580838977862265,0.033556782136537816,0.11605169419586077,0.09523234661262836,0.0,0.04204368234614112,0.2792672513213025,0.0,0.0,0.08078035308274288,0.042878434031611234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091539846780686,0.1035017493962334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04797021852855216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10477302758465733,0.0,0.14656647584474675,0.045884174340601214,0.0505260148149838,0.0,0.13964524329965006,0.04558585495898744,0.0,0.09970472514353693,0.0,0.03219310770035752,0.036132488144880535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03293653333081616,0.0,0.0,0.05215025854027508,0.0898221080331253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04545938576878436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04752153150177595,0.0,0.12174109488435372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040572148849598665,0.0,0.07556161040474993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04325011340039305,0.1982476370429956,0.0,0.0,0.039299666884235904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046987294348509887,0.0,0.06725376935275494,0.0,0.0,0.03971937958060117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035720611057115666,0.0,0.08304935192358921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468795789337248,0.1826498436643064,0.046677031952750685,0.0,0.055405380870510806,0.0,0.0,0.04539657488255775,0.052783885973202896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206448286108192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03810859338954602,0.1157055344272194,0.0,0.04404101767514735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045796667329325684,0.0,0.0,0.04824736556775856,0.0,0.033748799615040334,0.05194327805346223,0.0,0.030594029053775937
mentalhealth,halfam,2019/04/18,seeing therapist for the third time in my first 10 days. is that wrong? I saw my therapist for initial screening last thursday and then again on monday. I am going to see her on Friday. Is that too weird seeing them this much? I've never been to one prior to her,1.2934591194968554,3.7034530943396287,2.771981132075471,90.92199685534591,84.09433962264151,5.0427672955974865,18.26729559748428,6.42735559955562,0.026084276729560152,206,5,41,2,6,67,41,53,0.097,0.903,0.0,-0.6322,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,9,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,3,2,5,7,0,8,7,1,14,0,0,5,0,3,3,0,0,10,32,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594254384475739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102706849003535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404911211951899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015033806563632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817225961555168,0.0,0.19065813821943398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675111021745395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5909661861978825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5740433068563671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414601570006774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702775960084587,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,kiki0320,2019/04/18,"Hi! I am fundraising for Mind UK by making informational videos about my mental illness Hi everyone!
I am currently raising money for Mind UK, a charity that provided me with cognitive behavioural therapy for free. I want to give back.
I make videos about my adventure with depression and anxiety and my ways of coping with them.
I'm hoping they can help at least one person out there x
My YouTube account is called Being Shellfish and the fundraiser link is in the description of all of my videos.
Thanks in advance!",4.164361702127657,7.135632882978728,4.771744680851064,77.59400000000002,76.55319148936171,8.440851063829786,30.676595744680853,9.120678840339163,3.3550842553191496,417,20,68,11,10,133,68,94,0.078,0.74,0.182,0.8713,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,1,4,5,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,2,1,16,13,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,7,0,0,2,3,3,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,12,5,17,12,2,8,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,1,2,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830736374875996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18401677182062712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24436512626321436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061197645519553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228673636568688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22957064482508965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040632579438407,0.0,0.0,0.2376916087458565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31948630548837165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411710161078728,0.0,0.4832754165395586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216454720060167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089587068234261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22032707417175806,0.2736750438879996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14115289021833566,0.18995536208097372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Liz_LemonLime,2019/04/18,"Book recommendations specifically for Bipolar Type II? (Type 2) [crosspost to r/bipolar Hello. I like to read books! 

Articles are great, but I really love a deep dive into a topic. 

I'm looking for books that discuss Type II Bipolar Disorder. I've browsed books in my library in the mental health section, but the books about Bipolar Disorders didn't seem to explicitly state in their description if the author spends time on Type II or not.",3.79731944444444,6.8154695375,4.691666666666666,77.25777777777779,78.625,7.555555555555558,30.13888888888889,8.515128840125781,2.931597222222221,353,17,58,8,9,114,57,80,0.043,0.825,0.131,0.8064,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,5,0,2,5,0,0,1,8,6,4,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,4,3,11,5,1,9,0,0,1,1,4,7,0,3,2,29,5,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6368823129266665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063315531201717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953424703918431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357438949950522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333247431647444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25077124841090465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800083148106267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27792604954539385,0.0,0.17799837515377068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529449868279671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201707039180266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rotinaj56,2019/04/18,"Self harm, so trigger I started drinking and self harming again. 

My psychiatrist put me on a new med, but I can't get it because medicaid won't pay for it. 

So now I have to wait a couple more weeks before I can see her. 

Which is going to feel like ages. 

All I want to do is jump in front of a car or blow my brains out. 

It has been really bad for about a month. 

Getting told I can't get the surgery I need was pretty shitty. 

​

I get really obsessed with things, and now apex legends is apart of that. 

I don't have anything else to do, so it's easy to get obsessed with videogames. 

​

I guess I'm just not sure what to do.",0.9437839366515808,2.7719283897058844,2.5458823529411774,95.44300904977379,81.27941176470588,5.361085972850678,22.226244343891395,6.297961479604792,0.20409570135746646,495,16,115,4,13,162,90,136,0.157,0.7390000000000001,0.105,-0.81,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,2,5,0,16,2,1,1,2,17,31,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,5,1,1,1,1,1,5,5,5,0,0,3,2,14,2,16,27,2,17,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,9,73,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31201614134003736,0.34991592966314394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848767781813947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022175613855053,0.08777213524383383,0.0,0.1225209310489545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607352736399902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931705531832968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410508309129906,0.0,0.0,0.12028128729063305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280332114970499,0.1028631655139127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37613202288271386,0.0,0.08183019470001407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861610024692174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034397087839288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15993526888107487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149277356910907,0.0,0.0,0.1067633154000694,0.0,0.139061951915454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464848684688088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14474504957587905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18448140918123032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473768512035387,0.0,0.3004162520739848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191357449784397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570449194605622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565747113443768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758417589871436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492629219450049,0.0,0.1154963657439804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34991592966314394,0.0
mentalhealth,beets4us,2019/04/18,"Being treated like a psych case My relationship with my parents is deteriorating because they’ve been treating me like a psych case. I’m 29 and have been living on the other side of the county for 5 years. I’ve struggled with anxiety, which they know and have witnessed. I used to go to them for advice or a shoulder to lean on in difficult circumstances, and I used to consider us close. These days I feel like if I tell them anything about emotional difficulties I’m told to take a benzo, see a therapist, change my medication. Mom is “really worried about me” after she hears I told my sister about missing my ex, and I can hear it in her voice. I know I have problems with anxiety and it could be better under control but I hate feeling like I’m being judged and it’s the explanation for every negative emotion I am experiencing. Maybe I am more out of control than I think. How do I know what is real and what is not?",5.0709706959706935,5.864710950549451,6.4689560439560445,75.6968772893773,68.61538461538461,9.363369963369964,31.100732600732602,9.516144504307137,2.8248776556776565,731,29,139,15,12,249,109,182,0.131,0.7929999999999999,0.076,-0.8607,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,3,3,4,12,1,1,8,0,17,2,1,5,0,30,37,11,0,3,4,4,2,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,8,12,0,2,6,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,4,7,26,7,24,29,1,12,0,1,1,0,16,8,0,2,7,97,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12874480335685864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015771360233813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841921632354988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031371948049308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652237496209565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937427758607013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955381796412729,0.10519184083613556,0.0,0.0,0.0849680011829957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964025591830372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110052540652088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323375341894572,0.18824478627550054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487669388369772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007607924672476,0.0,0.0,0.29698417694090873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21721944829693002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574660365081236,0.0,0.11633786995717815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236081798630825,0.0,0.0,0.1327244994242733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430428113728326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462930427134459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12606718020235674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499606095205178,0.08440257323800422,0.0,0.0,0.14145044463115267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498787833972192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773395009735698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905977907356404,0.0,0.11515551120610798,0.0,0.0,0.1529721757425244,0.0,0.08442022978590191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517859882840309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847930892280127,0.2275798006088609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379875742835526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484283077328628
mentalhealth,LA268,2019/04/18,"Advice needed on being burnt out.. Long story short I need advice on what people have done to recover from burnout. 

I’m burnt out professionally, my relationship is on the rocks and my physical health has been deteriorating over the last few weeks. I don’t remember the last time I’ve slept for more than 8 hours or the last time I ate a decent meal because of the chronic stress I’m dealing with right now.  

At the same time, I have panic disorder and have never been more in control of it and confident in myself (I’ve been seeing a psychologist for two years).

I’m planning on flying home and living with my parents for two weeks. No work, minimal contact with my partner and solely focus on myself and my health.

Even though I feel like absolute shit right now and I feel destroyed from the burnout, I feel incredibly hopeful and look at this as an opportunity to better myself! 

Any tips from those who have been burnt out on what I should focus on during those two weeks/ what it’s like to recover from it?",5.0264395604395595,6.408518241025642,5.817527472527473,78.16211538461542,69.15384615384616,8.443223443223442,27.261904761904763,8.841846274778883,2.0570366300366296,807,26,150,14,14,264,109,195,0.09,0.823,0.087,-0.1528,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,7,4,9,2,2,10,0,14,7,2,1,1,26,27,11,0,4,1,1,3,2,1,1,3,0,1,1,10,14,2,1,4,1,0,0,3,4,0,3,7,5,16,5,32,18,4,33,0,0,2,0,6,18,1,2,17,104,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449926265747709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852462957598674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641577979258735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086708726241312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059727654161794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292364059866784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366869665292434,0.0,0.0,0.12828258595110978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279637524079947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19015109550507514,0.08955426437836174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664948730792387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574216665092888,0.12450667182407245,0.12345028893242785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065453150892741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248510016183248,0.0,0.11069153700876272,0.11093600741942114,0.10526736593866426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589959049928426,0.0966821811532142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707811354455708,0.13919286778759488,0.0,0.0,0.08690598211345286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458529997633936,0.14200377324536065,0.2141064699683253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989240498378033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867600748088878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359473485659752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316151378929285,0.0,0.21928806185637234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673634340140219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016587722408004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126057225484856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08072507555730743
mentalhealth,scatterbrained81,2019/04/18,Psychological test score I had to take this test for my therapist and when she went over the results with me she said it didn't make a lot of sense. My score was too high. It was a true/false 500 some odd question test. It's not a complicated test. But she said that I scored above what schizophrenics score. I have no idea what this means. Anyone have anything like this happen on one of these tests.,1.2333749999999988,3.7996955875000014,1.5425000000000004,98.2525,86.875,4.7,16.75,6.2581,-0.5790249999999997,317,7,71,3,10,95,59,80,0.06,0.907,0.033,-0.25,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,6,1,0,2,0,11,13,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,10,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,2,9,1,7,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,3,2,45,19,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803071608014651,0.0,0.21220322683504952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22803164305406826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724514875918173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911013573199712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598118119672094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21922998128912924,0.0,0.0,0.17212875822376086,0.0,0.0,0.2808936296711461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473789428870515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2888709507233532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.490582656004296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938844928213288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994043898239377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23904603316073866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,This_is_the_real_Eel,2019/04/18,"Idk, can you call this an identity crysis? **Some information before i go into detail:** 

I've been struggling with some stuff (low self esteem, sadness, suicidal thoughts and other dark thoughts) ever since i was small, a lot of stuff has changed tho bc i met (my now) girlfriend and she helped me a lot and I'm over all the bad stuff, but because i never really cared about myself or how others see me (and maybe also because i was down all the time i didn't want people to feel bad or sad, and i always saw that making jokes and being funny cheered people up) i kinda became a mix of the outsider, class-clown and loud one in class (i didn't scream tho or was too loud), and was pretty extroverted. I was always pretty extroverted and could talk to people easily (and still can), but i just don't want to have to do that all the time, set up a fake smile and be funny and weird for the amusement of my classmates.

​

**Main Part:** 

Everyone of my classmates and people i talk to will say I'm talking a lot and I'm friendly and all of that, and i hate it. A lot of the people i trusted talked bad about me behind my back, about the most stupid things *(e.g. in PE, you are basically just allowed to use arms and if u get hit anywhere else, ur out. I was defending the goal and the attacker ran towards me with the ball, literally shot my foot so i was out and they scored a goal. on my way back to class (he couldn't hear or see me), one of my classmates i actually liked a lot and thought of a good and reasonable person talked to someone else about how stupid i was to fend of the ball with my foot and not my hands, even tho it was literally the tip of my toes and my arms were at chest-level.)*

​

I'm getting tired of being critized for no reason all the time and i don't wanna be this persona i made up. I just wanna be me and idk how to do that. I started talking less in class and to anyone i go to class with and I'm more for myself now. I don't have anyone but my girlfriend and we're in a long distance relationship, plus my parents are not just critizing me, but treating me like a baby, even tho they want me to behave like an adult *(e.g. tell me i need to organize my stuff myself, but when i do that they just tell me that I'm doing it wrong and tell me to do it their way instead or I'll get punished...)*

​

My parents don't support me with anything and when i told me dad that i probably had depression (i was cutting myself, seriously suicidal and had my darkest time there) and told him i was thinking about suicide and cutting myself with a circle (i mean the tool that you use to draw circles, in german it's ""Zirkel"" and idk what that's in english but the translation doesn't sound right so idk) he simply smiled at me and said ""You can't kill yourself with a Zirkel"" and told me that I ""don't have depression, you are lazy and have self pity which makes you sad"" and that I'm ""smartphone addicted"" and he talked about taking my smartphone away, as if my phone was the cause of all the problems (my parents are REALLY fixated on phones being the problem for literally everything, btw).

​

As you probably could've guessed by now i don't have many friends or people i trust, and i still have the problem that sometimes i start talking to my classmates/biological parents again, start liking them more again and as soon as i start building up trust again, they hurt me in some way.

​

 In my ideal world i would care less about other people, talk less, learn (and remember) more from my mistakes and be myself. If anyone has ANY suggestions or questions, please just write a comment.

​

Thanks to everyone who read the whole thing, even tho it might've been useless as this is my first post and idk how to structure posts like that.

​

​

**TL;DR**

I have no one to trust except my gf, I keep getting hurt when i start talking to people again and i don't really learn from my mistakes, i wanna be more introverted. Any tipps?",3.6446529780047774,5.089282438442211,4.38259741329599,86.88354930389652,72.60552763819095,7.028717357278192,26.2401351017382,7.5177532532257745,1.2759938050910289,3135,105,637,36,61,1004,308,796,0.173,0.711,0.116,-0.9932,5,0,0,0,0,3,145.0,0,7,6,4,47,53,8,1,36,0,61,8,6,13,8,142,113,82,4,19,25,5,2,5,5,2,2,7,0,4,34,56,0,1,13,5,0,3,17,32,0,4,30,12,106,21,88,70,25,64,0,10,3,0,64,27,0,22,33,460,140,9,0.0,0.0,0.03887903657382124,0.043432534677511465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03186080684233246,0.06630175212185427,0.3453413679971259,0.3872890848366831,0.05418644740507322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835731912324768,0.0,0.03278572109505507,0.0,0.0,0.04532485148679204,0.03743189989467431,0.06127048863254874,0.09979662963011053,0.04857336727349116,0.0,0.03390172841299905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04068208170040102,0.0,0.08124104204830082,0.0409276477141329,0.04214646026517292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361954037440963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06862993283696198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656403114115499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894374868124941,0.03603843550685707,0.0,0.07613950245580191,0.03580649209670249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020144789955893087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0338887060993367,0.0,0.0,0.06156206440694794,0.0,0.08326104333703899,0.0,0.04528507925873102,0.033416712800715564,0.0,0.0,0.04388931675969384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03933470652097927,0.0,0.0,0.044903665258804175,0.0,0.026704560307018826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530115817138294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03541248196985008,0.04407812695357159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732141993184516,0.0,0.0,0.0352580019916318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693568266944082,0.0,0.037698486202806095,0.053188309562786334,0.040392487157878486,0.040025606249192686,0.04339849274268805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0422649698737932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0295415721393622,0.03072780979729548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099181080794662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695471556394934,0.0431438846876841,0.0,0.22096568006859155,0.03478759556649737,0.0,0.04373341764736966,0.0,0.0,0.07631326647517596,0.08106517286355244,0.08591060160823376,0.11436727407307608,0.0,0.0,0.04463100097078712,0.0,0.03985174843965096,0.0,0.07656943076294212,0.08192629897056981,0.0,0.04277428839375565,0.04513204897463833,0.03402396805224711,0.03789788301930663,0.031683135984711175,0.0,0.0,0.06349618479690179,0.0,0.08312563495451987,0.0,0.0,0.03295685953164453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033757121972482707,0.0,0.03940373500308319,0.0,0.1409982071897312,0.0,0.06363409527510668,0.0,0.0,0.04165042901376624,0.1824335009682164,0.1307386540408887,0.045211057110592624,0.0,0.0,0.029955448845447857,0.3202266005179694,0.10446828341836688,0.03668020952634223,0.0,0.0,0.052937136198846664,0.025528482887030867,0.0,0.09488783233773558,0.09292635278693112,0.04579133061796696,0.0,0.11420925368370285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06881960710141811,0.0,0.0,0.07049770357892307,0.09487171526206528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044481016750037634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028301879798392313,0.04355984297433805,0.3872890848366831,0.0
mentalhealth,Hecate90,2019/04/18,"How do I stop obsessing over my appearance? I have awful acne right now. I’m getting fat and I just hate my appearance so much. I have PCOS and while I have tried everything, and also tried to commit suicide over how I look, I feel like this is getting out of hand. I have horrendous anxiety attacks when I think about my appearance and when I go near a mirror.

My question is how do I stop thinking about my skin? And my weight? How do I just accept my appearance and move on? I want to stop caring about what I look like. I truly hate how I look and I wish I didn’t. Obviously trying to change my looks doesn’t work so trying to change my mindset is my only option.",1.374608967674661,3.5362795839416066,3.299421272158497,88.83680656934307,81.62773722627738,6.542022940563086,21.46454640250261,7.7094869923839395,0.9454050052137636,521,16,109,9,14,175,70,137,0.22,0.628,0.153,-0.9034,0,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,0,1,16,8,3,1,1,1,12,4,3,5,2,32,32,18,1,2,2,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,2,3,5,0,0,6,2,4,0,0,1,8,28,4,13,31,1,19,0,0,4,0,1,6,0,6,9,78,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113484028370166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651652104501166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840307644606408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196219702876428,0.0,0.2945902191984305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513793909533652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07040280549629853,0.09947149827846696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549198706739666,0.0,0.07913203944834972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749369637026546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604909285402428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4676986710764224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14798772536473498,0.10235578964208043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058966064375886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15597818033005814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890830384627026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492270576988815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15230353276523714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17843589526089354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3781332528656021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212605052174135,0.0,0.0,0.16955410588886013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011657609084542,0.0,0.0,0.10136676258750532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lazrdragon472,2019/04/18,"Tin Foil Hat Day! I had an idea about raising awareness/fighting stigma surrounding mental illness. Why not have a day where instead of having to hide from the world, we can proud and open about who we are and where we came from? My idea is to pick a day off the calendar, and have that day be Tin Foil Hat Day every year. Anyone who has a mental health diagnosis, or identifies as mentally ill can join in. If you want to participate in Tin Foil Hat Day, all you have to do is make a hat out of aluminum foil (be creative!) and wear it that day as you go about your business. If anyone asks why you're wearing a tin foil hat, just tell them you have mental illness, and it's Tin Foil Hat Day. I think it would be a great opportunity to put mental illness out in the open and inspire discussion about it, in a way that's light-hearted, non-threatening, and doesn't take itself too seriously. Anyone else on board?",7.184682539682541,5.8355033901098885,7.273589743589746,78.9325213675214,64.54945054945055,10.286691086691087,32.859584859584864,9.150863307647796,2.5492874236874234,715,23,148,10,9,231,100,182,0.077,0.826,0.097,0.7044,0,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,3,5,1,2,9,5,0,0,11,0,18,7,2,2,1,29,25,12,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,10,15,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,0,12,4,23,19,1,27,0,0,0,0,14,14,0,3,9,91,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366532785588725,0.11559457816109794,0.0,0.0,0.10546887528018116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903284946082824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5820622110050447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424431430307588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950533770283964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411662830108901,0.0,0.0,0.12438138779399285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991943359302837,0.0,0.13368895369201605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25471382758359923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530637309291953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5684661347363763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341247049578072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482451220820438,0.0,0.09860722643940664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722887218108553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654252173768233,0.08954906124069273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035999942153846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014211908023804,0.0,0.0,0.07265059342967814
mentalhealth,poisew,2019/04/18,"Male (14) my mom just died of cancer and i dont know what to do. I might be young but i dont know what to do.
I keep having these attacks where i get really sad and my body becomes numb. I dont know what to do.",-2.379733333333334,-0.770948439999998,0.8760000000000012,103.62466666666668,93.4,4.133333333333334,12.333333333333336,5.46131890053228,-1.5188666666666668,158,2,45,1,6,56,30,50,0.315,0.685,0.0,-0.948,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,9,3,1,0,0,9,14,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,8,0,4,12,0,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,30,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23282400576865006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260247844580349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273249813574993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123990302402685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7195605478689668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692351435423653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18190629722930704,0.0,0.0,0.33741823543910743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21710605257196214,0.0,0.2396888431042844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110689467159428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,blurredgreyskies,2019/04/18,"Struggling hard right now. I feel so alone being an orphan and so far from my remaining siblings... So I was a caretaker for my dad and watched him die.  Then my mom died of lung cancer and i had to make the ""pull the plug"" decision.  One sister died of complications from an autoimmune disorder and the other sister shot herself in the head.  My remaining siblings live 1000s of miles away (even in a different country)  and I am struggling to build relationships where I am.  I am so goddamn lonely but I'm too depressed to go out and develop relationships. Life is rough, Im in my 30s and wish I was able to navigate these hard times in a more healthy way.  There's so much more to my story, but right now complete loneliness reigns.",4.219941972920696,5.9107853333333376,5.058736299161829,81.62454545454548,71.55319148936171,8.815215989684074,29.8394584139265,9.339509955726095,2.6856468085106378,576,24,111,13,11,187,88,141,0.214,0.736,0.05,-0.9584,1,3,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,2,9,0,8,4,2,1,0,14,13,15,3,1,2,4,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,0,1,3,5,15,0,17,9,3,18,0,2,1,0,8,11,0,0,4,76,17,0,0.15499151069205858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052446208303436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561962630372946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625056501237318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334939610477847,0.0,0.4825701542838206,0.16193314041173704,0.17763369908785984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023704310523536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836836477973269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808524730706244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776839002896921,0.0,0.15906600502196933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674174282241917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947508764532517,0.0,0.0,0.13686034351719742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345803691575374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18152418408894708,0.0,0.0,0.11393659391044975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502625885676327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328057570592541,0.0,0.2647238065435825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240615584803686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037679629325142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302504692636372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782325882315716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Silvarys_edit,2019/04/18,"Why does one forget important conversations with doctors? Yay, first post - so here we go.
It happens mostly with doctors or other people working in the health-segment; while talking I'm totally fine, but as soon as I leave the building everything said gets blurry. Not half an hour later and I forgot 70 percent of what was said.
The only way I've found to help myself is by recording conversations with my phone, just to be able to remember things I've been told, or that I have told.

Forgot to do that recently when I visited some kind of therapist (who's available for employees in my area to talk to about issues surrounding work or personal life).
One and a half hour of talking and all I can remember are maybe 10 minutes of conversation.

Does that happen to others, too? Is it an adrenalin rush that lets me forget the conversation? Maybe this doesn't sound like much of an issue but for keeping up with the progress I've made so far its quite frustrating.",6.054377289377289,7.09237214835165,6.274450549450549,77.09138278388279,66.52747252747254,9.583150183150185,32.1996336996337,9.725611199111238,3.0916908424908427,769,31,138,16,12,246,123,182,0.077,0.856,0.067,-0.2018,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,5,8,5,1,0,9,1,11,3,0,1,2,28,25,14,0,0,7,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,1,13,8,0,3,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,5,10,3,10,4,25,13,6,19,0,0,0,0,17,6,0,5,9,95,23,4,0.12400311445172678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538448842064109,0.21703192219789616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114460035022346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054769858056184,0.0,0.13596301453920298,0.0,0.0,0.0647865092612206,0.0,0.07047382759581028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21931108916617512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180951201513444,0.0,0.0,0.08311667374352298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442361784194239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588540689340771,0.0,0.11021966572364073,0.0,0.1291301615881067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130139356811132,0.0,0.1268015859949368,0.08758706694502619,0.060581658081863325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733474516409785,0.0,0.0,0.24915559123633824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115655710323577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805543915663246,0.0943099563348816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596814611262124,0.10827473651615327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118760706017927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318925760644761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224381156738862,0.0,0.2809427114226457,0.0,0.2359107165421481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299007018725419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397717341766614,0.08238215922243672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369805797907007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984279003819052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118935233420507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805514883816446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,FenrisValda,2019/04/18,"Nighttime distress/anxiety (F21) It should be noted that I have ptsd and generally a lot of anxiety, etc.

​

I have nightmares, that's relatively normal for me unfortunately, as well as insomnia. Recently I've been waking up in intense sweats, not from heat as my room is kept relatively cool. I don't remember having any bad dreams but I feel tense afterwards. I have also been experiencing intense fear/anxiety just before falling asleep, causing me to jolt back awake. I've dealt with this before but it's been a while. I guess I'm just wondering if this flows along with my normal nightmares or if it's something different.",5.199568965517244,7.65170257758621,6.1253793103448295,71.80755172413794,70.63793103448276,9.467586206896552,32.289655172413795,9.888512548439397,3.7153820689655177,513,24,84,14,10,169,81,116,0.096,0.8320000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.5647,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,1,11,4,3,1,0,23,16,11,0,5,8,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,7,4,0,1,3,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,4,3,10,2,12,10,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,6,4,57,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232498282589887,0.0,0.19283372401902876,0.21625673441358664,0.12102777614025632,0.0,0.4084466855962664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368502889069261,0.14860006180923468,0.0,0.0,0.3028839123896553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828273460507244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594395636405092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19848699446340565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002691593534404,0.08998852096533815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19605737811273094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15130632171376485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3487516011366656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804097007594247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572691486194397,0.0,0.20160877051859316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701234794312367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001914457559827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193004179602204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21625673441358664,0.0
mentalhealth,xdxbigsavage,2019/04/18,I’m curious I’m asking you guys So masturbate is dangerous for your life? Is that true?,-0.11333333333333327,2.134069888888888,3.1388888888888893,83.245,100.11111111111113,9.066666666666668,22.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.9715333333333342,70,3,14,3,3,25,15,18,0.154,0.596,0.25,0.2724,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6094128502135006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6454563247725399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604368695117532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,just0nekitten,2019/04/18,"Help me understand When I’m at home, I hear a police siren in the distance and I think it’s the cops coming for me. Or any knock on the door is a police officer coming for me. Or I hear an ambulance siren and it makes me think it’s coming for me for some reason that I don’t know or understand. 

I think every number calling my phone is someone in the government going to say I did something bad and they’re going to send me to prison. Or when someone else around me answers the phone (someone close to me [bf, mom] or strangers) I think the call is about me, and that I am in trouble, or I did something to negatively effect that person. 

I hadn’t realized how bad this is for stress in my life until I wrote it out. 
Can anyone relate?",2.0940271493212705,3.7058625555555587,3.8078431372549035,88.72452488687784,77.0392156862745,6.5377576671694335,22.880341880341877,7.321109707123232,0.8117696329813969,573,17,122,7,13,192,81,153,0.108,0.865,0.027000000000000003,-0.9153,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,9,0,10,1,0,4,0,31,27,14,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,1,8,10,0,0,11,0,0,6,3,4,0,0,4,3,22,0,20,23,1,18,0,0,0,0,13,9,0,7,3,84,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954712174972143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816518950388636,0.0,0.0,0.12497843963637775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344425267245745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867113867955691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3628052348558296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727930873677407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828612084901613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595757558700597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164634551734075,0.0,0.09410164376268633,0.0,0.14082439165120236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715564495386733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916285867396966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371259629954097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644251436549416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258467796223335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443461212596265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164517001743783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568604721201725,0.21616088616092555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16081829762511626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35982950849122475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29230556645715605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Khalid-javan,2019/04/18,"Me m(14) suicidal Middle East Backstory my mom and my dad are shitty my dad used to abuse for 13 years of my life when I was nine my dad nearly killed me because I didn’t pray my mom took me to a hospital and a police station and I didn’t see my father a week I can’t tell anyone because mental illness is considered a joke 
My dad dropped me out of a respectful school in my country because I got a c- after that I went to one of the most shitest school every i continued tell 8 grade 
I passed.  My dad at the end of the school year slapped my because I got a B in English we had to study three languages English Arabic and french 
When I went to go to high school we had to get his passport by law he should be able since my mom sued him because he wanted to drop me out of 8 grade but my mom sued him so a entire year has passed and I haven’t gone to school I tried 3 times 
What should I do",1.9293846153846168,2.970102656410262,3.4584615384615383,93.42153846153849,76.28205128205127,6.430769230769231,23.76923076923077,6.742157984588678,0.5238307692307691,698,21,165,6,15,231,106,195,0.078,0.892,0.03,-0.8201,0,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,2,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,11,0,14,2,0,1,0,16,25,9,2,3,1,10,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,0,1,0,7,4,1,0,3,11,1,36,2,23,11,1,28,1,0,1,0,19,9,0,1,10,99,38,7,0.10832972899025144,0.1283530146450735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574666530164123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3301839865613255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594798591829297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127246889718674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056597812252728565,0.0,0.06156628144474415,0.0,0.17328236076516176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445630639304012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198507947430628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651649127651061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917088739799234,0.0,0.0,0.5074978772637956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340702795921661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5481773459317165,0.08632476850793712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961147126926695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849514088883945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18936991592712968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316793613881933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035831487582595,0.07354877503421202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935621040986856,0.0,0.0,0.06389568088494718,0.0,0.08689557424745782,0.0,0.0,0.2008454881661513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928238122012766
mentalhealth,wastedtime666,2019/04/18,"My mood seems to reflect whatever the weather is doing. How to change this? I'm middle aged and work in a gray office and definitely experience seasonal depression.  So much so I've tried a sunlight lamp on my desk with little help. 

Now it's spring in the Midwest and my mood is getting drastically better and am able to get out and jog but even on a rainy day it does a complete 180.  WTH.  So annoying.",2.2922499999999992,4.612875725000002,4.240000000000002,82.47500000000002,79.25,7.5,26.25,8.472884824447931,2.0634999999999994,318,13,62,7,8,108,60,80,0.159,0.777,0.065,-0.8746,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,6,5,1,0,6,0,4,0,0,1,0,11,8,10,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,9,8,1,13,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,1,5,38,6,2,0.2860293401532954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529697074378112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025811157451398,0.0,0.2998963212148038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446526178195435,0.0,0.2463566515511355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503062030858578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889196815642975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27979157939717675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988770496088817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19171943746502854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866765414374277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102644759703585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603903687648305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19419514650509234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082327662245988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Abceexee,2019/04/18,"I deserve this A lot of people with mental health problems say this and a lot of the time it's not true, but for me it is. I'm 20 and on 2 incidents over 6 months ago I have sexually harrassed women while drunk. I've never wanted to do something like that and I definitely know why it is wrong and that I should never do it again but the guilt is on my mind everyday. I can't stop feeling like a lesser person every all of the time. I've tried to get professional help but it looks like the only way I can is if I go through my college and I don't want to do that because of my sexual wrongdoing. I also realise that I was a POS and that my actions do have consequences but I'm tired of hating myself every single day. I can't apologise either. I just feel stuck like I'm hiding the terrible person I am from everyone I know.",2.7341171328671336,3.729130715909093,4.9763636363636365,83.49800699300701,74.22727272727273,7.915384615384617,24.902097902097893,8.384062270229773,1.5078921328671329,650,20,138,11,13,228,101,176,0.198,0.682,0.12,-0.9081,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,10,1,1,9,0,17,3,0,0,4,31,31,13,0,5,8,0,2,4,0,1,2,1,0,3,12,7,1,1,4,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,2,4,20,5,15,28,5,17,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,3,15,96,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296527118639088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12897581237568162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831498516222503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401246299642622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717712484727029,0.15411025577151302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16309634985430732,0.11521869170831507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426230977752037,0.0,0.09165932166745434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923092447745815,0.0,0.17143343667832306,0.0,0.0,0.1081027977972258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772708903235924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315173667996053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543484799104574,0.0,0.0,0.2742295185727285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253262743690144,0.0,0.1628471457588085,0.0,0.1287324114630274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487786483715727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266094973187468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181146571014294,0.28164750635406016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154323483350172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825658252972733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416146856719157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348375678581013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880877013114306,0.1853680007365233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949874949258584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902546208723269,0.1280168097850493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553040182996346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17633470998944367,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LittleGovernment,2019/04/18,"Groundless anger & resentment Has anyone here ever felt some strange groundless anger and/or resentment towards long-desired and finally achieved things?

Like, I have spent a month scrolling through web and trying to find some decent plants shop in my local area and just yesterday I have finally bought quite a bunch of great home plants. I was really happy at accidently finding a decent store - really, it felt like a dream. But now I just can't look at them.

It feels like an imposition. Like I have spent too much time thinking about them. I also feel guilty for expressing all these things.

I know it's quite strange and I wonder if anyone can relate to this. I wonder if it is common, or, perhaps, I have some issues I need to sort out. I tried to google it but nothing noteworthy showed up.

Sorry for any language mishaps.",4.4750700280112055,7.009647921568633,4.174103641456587,84.60132352941179,73.05228758169935,7.247245564892625,26.614845938375353,8.192908349453996,1.8559826330532208,664,24,118,11,14,201,101,153,0.1,0.8059999999999999,0.094,0.0495,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,3,8,10,4,0,5,0,9,0,0,0,2,29,22,10,0,3,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,5,0,0,10,3,5,0,1,4,0,0,6,5,15,6,15,16,6,16,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,9,12,75,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591381380377055,0.0,0.157049675589084,0.0,0.09856871808491288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20270018846764892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131112577399349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657880094617926,0.10354994267056727,0.2783431017789368,0.3175640229234313,0.2649572932951552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980423492065438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15429844435315207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539334601605708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128668365041162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965890888884165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2832545203245735,0.0,0.0,0.12827325742802145,0.12171871193064138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569506326791898,0.0,0.1065524932555728,0.10747613233331416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908025610338431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30833728846635783,0.0,0.0,0.18571311945400024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225594994506706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259227737148976,0.0928759848017524,0.0,0.0,0.08451957924129011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19681857282602336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143769996463102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,frontofficeslave,2019/04/18,"Am I really just out for myself in this world? So started this year with the end of my 5 year relationship with my best friend and we still have to live together for financial reasons but he’s made it so painful by acting like the victim even though he ended it and I begged for 2 months for him to stay. Damaging my pride and self respect. He also cheated in the past and I moved country to be with him for a fresh start.  Yes I made mistakes like not communicating but I was afraid to because everyone has left me when I’ve opened up to them. 

Fast forward 4 months and I go on holiday with my parents to relax and spend some time with them because I live in another country. Didn’t realise how bad their drinking had become until last night when my mum starting spewing drunken nonsense that I had been taking drugs in the past (I mean hard drugs which I never have. We’ve all smoked a joint or 2 in college). I got so upset so just went to bed when she came in trying to provoke me and eventually o snapped calling her a liar. My dad burst in absolutely hammered and blamed me because he hear me screaming at her to shut up. Ended up with him getting physical and destroying me with insults. 
I checked into a hotel last night, hardly slept and now my mum has deleted me from Facebook and my dad sent me a message basically telling me he doesn’t care anymore about me. 
I’m an only child and we were always super close but their drinking has changed them. 2 years ago I ended up in hospital because of him but I forgave him anyway even if he never apologized and actually blamed me (because I bit him whilst I was on the floor as he was kicking me in the stomach. Apparently that counts as me being “a wild animal”). 
I assume that neither of them remember what happened as they had been drinking all day whilst I was out swimming at the beach. I wish I could pinpoint what I did for them to hate me so much as I’m usually fabulous at criticising myself but for once the only thing I did wrong was shouting at her to shut up with her lies. 
I feel now that I have lost everything and must face life alone by myself. Has anyone felt the same and how did you deal?",5.178333761012745,5.561341032332564,5.898162689248142,81.33939355059451,68.23787528868361,8.63190488409888,31.741425027799163,8.515128840125781,2.348101599521,1709,68,340,24,27,559,226,433,0.17800000000000002,0.7140000000000001,0.108,-0.9898,2,1,6,0,0,0,24.0,2,1,8,4,21,24,6,2,16,1,28,10,3,6,5,62,52,39,0,5,10,5,4,2,1,1,4,3,1,2,12,31,3,0,6,8,2,8,6,15,0,0,24,7,70,9,61,24,8,73,0,2,0,0,46,31,0,4,37,239,82,1,0.0,0.0,0.08791716608162288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986145826532137,0.0,0.0,0.09330853437342182,0.0,0.07204684306755549,0.07496407661403559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446971485215673,0.0,0.0,0.08934743158573316,0.06299468626325871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522337344031478,0.2745973906541343,0.0994999545873155,0.0,0.0,0.09454639367398372,0.0,0.0983575443248924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09199439205776527,0.10304168087935947,0.09185518489948744,0.0,0.09530579133179223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719314338784263,0.0,0.0,0.05810213140387549,0.09288128697445476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26476869915974205,0.2089571147845531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191804284159541,0.0,0.0,0.11901033351202972,0.0,0.0,0.08608712911479623,0.08096922120199303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045553413878166735,0.0,0.08650281236864696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069605148657896,0.0,0.04706954968709631,0.0,0.05120157525829868,0.0,0.07205510571249966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966839335961473,0.0,0.16141015156757846,0.08894757254106872,0.0,0.0,0.10154065903191883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14687462697580966,0.0,0.0,0.0978856335678656,0.0,0.0636349117513523,0.08802917143485628,0.0,0.15910644274050995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834647433442707,0.0,0.0,0.1704951750141642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09813701239500658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382175503371314,0.0957539412656315,0.06622826484716443,0.0,0.13896959365975495,0.0,0.0,0.16909118963957687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594544351193117,0.0,0.13703862814382967,0.09586464341496634,0.0,0.10003692534679116,0.0,0.17200674015346426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05771548503933922,0.0926299706446192,0.0,0.09672549908989264,0.10205710313251287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09398599988531807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913035490245273,0.09602648901579347,0.0719478903770262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773825699601056,0.0,0.07874471037123491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598533735042867,0.0,0.08851530510412634,0.0,0.052533590793947024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611668116329181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922402749311757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351653808146987,0.0,0.0,0.10360178984351323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850187367664733,0.0,0.1740496151598108
mentalhealth,cloudsofmana,2019/04/18,"I feel uninterested in everything Nothing Sparks interest for me anymore and I feel like I constantly need to do more radical things and force myself to participate just to truly feel any type of excitement. It lasts a while and then fades. I can't find any interest in movies, shows or any type of video entertainment. Music has even started to feel dull to me. Life feels empty even though I'm doing positive things for myself; I graduated college after moving from my home state to California and then came back. I have earned a degree and 3 certifications in information technology. I just feel like as I get older I am forgetting things that made me who I am and now that I'm an adult I struggle with maintaining even just a personality of my own. I used to play 15 instruments and had so much motivation to make music on a regular basis and Ive lost that spark for so long that it would almost be like relearning it after these years. Drugs have been a false sense of comfort for me and I know it only makes my problem worse but when I am sober the weight of the world crushes me. I don't feel interesting or like I'm fun to talk to. I have no self confidence anymore and I feel like I'm forcing myself to do things just to get by (work, chores, go outside, go to events) but very little brings me joy. My girlfriend of 3 years is supportive and understanding and I'm so lucky to have her, but looking at her interests and hobbies makes me wish I could find things that made me happy like she does. I build computers and I don't really even game on them I just sit in discord servers looking for friendship and connections. I am not dumb, but I'm not very communicatively smart if that makes sense. I've always had social anxiety and I'm past that now to where I can talk to people but I can't do small talk or bond over things that most people talk about. I know I need to see a therapist and that's in the works but I'm mainly venting and hoping someone has any constructive advice for me to take in and better my mental state. Thanks for taking the time to read this.",4.835735090152569,5.793442878640777,5.729153952843276,80.19514563106799,69.24271844660194,9.186685159500692,27.578363384188627,9.424239791934726,2.2234324549237168,1654,53,331,34,28,544,206,412,0.07400000000000001,0.7390000000000001,0.187,0.9943,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,6,19,28,1,1,11,0,27,3,0,8,0,71,72,38,0,8,17,0,9,6,1,1,2,0,2,3,22,21,1,0,15,6,0,5,7,5,0,0,7,12,48,23,49,62,5,42,0,2,3,0,16,14,1,8,26,214,70,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07990123743023002,0.0,0.0,0.08187729757344726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06803624408363325,0.0,0.0,0.22241598411462385,0.0,0.06255111734982477,0.0,0.16218071210056134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287335984826123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231578832719313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351904629187884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836049413976478,0.0,0.06528386413449186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07155437930761015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948231333368537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21602390011385908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348642104035555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307486279237313,0.1752419239964654,0.0,0.0,0.14946612444990556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543920010930657,0.0,0.0929395259458954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704191607371298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201842523208447,0.08121254330098604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987341500548915,0.06665057732964731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057754068131146086,0.2396817701787253,0.08195147276302757,0.0,0.07236074319710753,0.137326464344887,0.0,0.08925774897531477,0.0,0.0,0.15473880112029012,0.21831898530577595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240135902123999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690480579732275,0.06010775555305831,0.12125758661665333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784571226885087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062187076626607725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805533720747565,0.11337313466183145,0.07139531814166902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823945848585184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817885861904976,0.0,0.05238168740154346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06515728150414184,0.0,0.08530024936563532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335060788345003,0.0692804553900703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787472054786449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548005637499849,0.0,0.0,0.09278760872569636,0.0,0.0,0.1229564024515062,0.26288313002493074,0.0,0.07527956980040168,0.0,0.0949371610778197,0.3259320127372109,0.0,0.08033513084151105,0.0,0.047678679806181866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851217674945435,0.0,0.07061996759733404,0.0,0.13493178394464544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995695190806778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09402739258145966,0.0,0.0,0.1190539120087008,0.0,0.08332700725095113,0.0580845464973578,0.0,0.0,0.10530983758744512
mentalhealth,IdoMusicForTheDrugs,2019/04/18,Peaks and Valleys Don't forget to use your positive mood and good energy to help set yourself up for success when you're not feeling up to it. There's always Peaks and valleys in life and you want to always be working towards your next Peak so that you don't fall into a rut. This helps you get a positive outcome from a good day instead of just using it as a Band-Aid for an overall bad time in life.,6.956785714285715,5.11971205952381,7.349999999999998,79.77000000000002,65.30952380952381,9.82857142857143,35.285714285714285,8.07648339933343,2.610842857142857,319,12,66,3,4,105,59,84,0.051,0.664,0.285,0.9647,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,5,0,2,5,5,0,0,5,0,3,2,0,2,0,12,8,7,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,5,3,15,7,0,12,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,4,42,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4115555776943297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064895634727837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949143466616594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504497094724198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292067920280225,0.0,0.0,0.414855840191614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.331527007733648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493580398808253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26301195130883115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442056868043404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271846859381128,0.0,0.0,0.14586705073909026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800411758227021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Gaming1nvading,2019/04/18,"My friends have me very confused So whenever I seem to do anything around my friends there seem to be this very negative energy around it. There would be time when if any of my other friends did it it would be everyone else going crazy but when I do it it's just Ahh ok.

I'm just wondering if anyone could help me with this problem",1.7130252100840335,3.981103411764707,2.775042016806726,92.46911764705885,81.05882352941177,6.8268907563025225,24.420168067226893,7.957251820313856,1.3383462184873949,264,10,57,5,7,84,44,68,0.13,0.6890000000000001,0.181,0.4604,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,0,1,10,0,0,0,0,16,15,6,0,6,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,7,4,6,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,6,3,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974719224905285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369052756831752,0.0,0.16910916615897298,0.365877517616472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407519897063058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166905937228893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963642607513328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4763068661217042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679050722544647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774246151453678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966359511436792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741593530899877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198288272235276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391183961257436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22285621575400125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919629115102472,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,goodandvile,2019/04/18,"some DBT related positivity for your Thursday afternoon (delete if not allowed) Here we go! (content warning, read if you want to :)

​

I am feeling myself being more positive and using DBT skills and I feel so so so good about that, it's helping my self-esteem in a way that I didn't anticipate and I'm thanking everyone in my life because I *literally* wouldn't be here without them.

This winter was really really bad. Through a series of hospitalizations and bad depressive slumps, I was almost certain that I wouldn't be alive in April. I had never ever considered what would happen if I made it where I am now.

​

I am letting myself feel good about being good

​

thank you for reading

​

here's a pic of my sweetest cat for you (in the comments :-)

edit :: I couldn't add a cat pic but I promise you it's good",3.5665424430641828,5.948083086956522,4.940099378881989,78.76178467908905,75.27329192546584,7.2746997929606625,29.366873706004142,8.238735603445708,2.4022841407867492,671,30,117,12,15,223,96,161,0.062,0.736,0.202,0.9625,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,5,1,1,11,11,0,0,5,0,16,1,0,3,3,28,27,11,0,8,6,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,3,2,0,1,7,3,0,0,5,3,24,8,14,13,2,14,0,1,0,0,9,5,0,5,7,88,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814681298628387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247922961371728,0.4763907103594034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367510865433876,0.059748394276912226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441927164021562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865922931235183,0.0,0.09365652966085193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867639455177176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570358660081034,0.3288378045711699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866734124187995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569668473802155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002259046734249,0.06923015160557698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274316950709947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559440072159612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960809482274503,0.0,0.12558049250937958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224992605138697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18047615341139436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465258329582105,0.0,0.0,0.057811167250482735,0.07779891145270144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448195030557552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962629802669568,0.0,0.4763907103594034,0.0
mentalhealth,chasingd0pamine,2019/04/18,"Anyone else use the app Pacifica?? Title. 

I've been using it for almost two weeks and it's really actually helping my mental health!! Anyone else?",1.5055555555555564,3.9816521481481497,4.434518518518519,72.88733333333334,101.5925925925926,6.6044444444444474,16.511111111111113,7.554174236665415,1.5601022222222218,116,3,17,3,5,41,24,27,0.0,0.8690000000000001,0.131,0.5577,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.22695555927601385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23288606882337806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3252378321435313,0.4765925522469627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.388566133490021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24721189276049302,0.0,0.0,0.15588730981519314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343766726172912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899081453363255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271878849656712,0.0,0.0,0.4017330107756516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865542732380728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nowivegotamenslibalt,2019/04/18,"Anyone else struggle with feeling as though you ""never got to be young?"" One of the most difficult things about the fact that I'm in therapy/""remission"" now is coping with the realization of how much my depression and anxiety cost me when I was younger. It's ironic, like I could never see what I was missing until I got some perspective. I was severely isolated, toxic, and self-hating all throughout high school and college, and struggled with feelings that I was worthless and unlovable. As a result, I basically just drifted through that time aimlessly, coping with booze and weed and clinging to the few friendships that I actually managed to form. I tried to join clubs and events but always dropped out fairly soon because I convinced myself that no one else wanted me there and I would be doing everyone a favor by leaving. 

It's more than just experiences: I'm starting to realize that it's hurt my career prospects as well. My grades were decent but I never planned for the future, never did any of the external things that you're ""supposed to do"" in my field like get an internship or ""network"" (whatever the hell that means). No mentors; I could barely talk to my professors because of how convinced I was that they hated me. Now I've got a job but no chance at upward mobility and no angle to ""break in"" to my field. I'm no goner by any means (I hope), but even if I do manage to break in and build a portfolio, it's still cost me time, and I feel so insecure when I think about how much better prepared many of my competitors are, how they've never had to deal with this monkey on their back. 

Then there's the whole dating thing. I've never been in a relationship, and while I don't feel like it's ""too late"" for me there, I do feel as though everyone else is more experienced than me, has had time to learn to cope with the ups and downs of dating, knows what's acceptable behavior or not, stuff like that. I'm lonely as hell and get attached waaay too quickly and I'm scared to be myself because I feel like I'll get ""found out"" and rejected for being inexperienced, clingy, whatever. So I keep my shit to myself and hope that I can get far enough along to be in a relationship and have someone support me, but it just feels like I'm holding my breath and shouldn't ever stop. 

I don't know. It's hard, because I really do feel as though I've made a ton of progress; I've been in therapy for two years and worked through a lot of stuff around my family and my general insecurities, I'm working on a medication regimen that's right for me, I *do* have a job, and I've lost like 50 pounds since my worst point. And I try to have compassion for myself and know that I really am doing the best I can with the crummy brain chemistry I was given. But it's so hard to look in the mirror and feel like you're emotionally a decade behind how you look, and to know that you'll never get that time back.",7.275617816091953,6.1472980416666685,7.5207902298850575,76.51875000000003,64.24305555555553,10.79204980842912,33.2301245210728,9.921728534948242,2.9513372365900383,2296,77,459,41,29,750,257,576,0.146,0.721,0.133,-0.9,2,3,0,0,0,0,68.0,0,3,2,7,34,37,4,5,24,0,41,5,3,7,10,102,87,58,0,8,13,0,11,8,0,3,1,0,0,0,31,38,1,3,20,1,3,1,16,19,1,3,19,15,59,18,73,58,15,57,2,7,3,0,9,20,3,8,41,327,90,13,0.0,0.0,0.06575941620035393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607089188430981,0.0,0.0,0.0916501400584624,0.0,0.05155041971237377,0.0,0.0,0.047118145147563455,0.0690453410816917,0.0,0.05998819223865207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363198056969816,0.0,0.16431252192812335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707178805795197,0.0595978041327255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522552032380117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760513126431202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947243046604965,0.05803981676164965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887809782040267,0.07580064203280949,0.0,0.069628175737756,0.0,0.04450808870644634,0.060954866389378325,0.0,0.12878120633910667,0.0,0.06591684006670305,0.06352591073598067,0.0,0.3066533456961316,0.1925634609679652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388572112248308,0.0,0.0,0.17603309149906748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168520541857648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072997582793188,0.06653012947788753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119744263599162,0.0,0.1338598212294568,0.0,0.0,0.07213854633349104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337412293783023,0.0598961380156963,0.0,0.0,0.14813523597369582,0.0,0.07601480637315934,0.07135247906238233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633727714463731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317522651120294,0.0,0.07356022749403478,0.057289516584717225,0.0,0.06376265110444773,0.0,0.06831924369676629,0.0,0.14680711243015093,0.0,0.06788471933287496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990735308339812,0.0,0.3638078790055128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132555167834362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063701939289212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633892039658315,0.0,0.0,0.14469557278345327,0.0,0.0575476265129931,0.0,0.0,0.06746555272791394,0.0681986451795841,0.053698244750302764,0.0,0.07029872275144837,0.07612746326982554,0.06917118217668791,0.05574273525227449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05709628707747641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04769644830312714,0.0,0.05381487460193817,0.056338056677884135,0.0,0.14089381516638524,0.15428263630295908,0.0,0.07646930025512265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054162644338941086,0.0,0.0,0.07706223337690711,0.0,0.1343056108840959,0.04317849100875703,0.19862041901030686,0.0,0.1571742318587017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091501898959832,0.0,0.06582673158918577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03974625093065455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06058847596849624,0.0,0.0,0.07523452099762641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981162190616845,0.0,0.0,0.04786937272432388,0.0,0.0,0.043394639116625784
mentalhealth,amature_aperture,2019/04/18,"Finally might be getting counseling!!! After 13 years in the workforce I finally landed myself a job that provides medical insurance.
I had an appointment with a GP to establish care and was brave enough to ask about mental health counseling!! 
After suffering from anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts for most of my life (and also thinking I was too smart for a therapist/worried they were going to drug me up) I am looking forward to hopefully having a professional to talk to. I have great friends and a great support network but I feel guilty for having to lean on them at times. This will hopefully help the nightmares stop 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽",5.111794871794871,7.501508940170942,6.017444444444448,72.75950000000002,70.7094017094017,10.15008547008547,35.63162393162393,10.355215969177356,4.5395305982905985,514,28,82,16,10,169,86,117,0.07200000000000001,0.715,0.213,0.9289,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,3,10,0,0,8,0,11,4,0,0,0,13,22,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,2,11,9,20,14,2,14,0,1,1,0,6,6,0,4,8,60,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527030813740226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813371900871154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724611188545906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19616191425560034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477860633281322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552802690094753,0.0,0.0,0.3705941666877351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068594689256166,0.0,0.08837462155131617,0.0,0.0961326349277534,0.0,0.0,0.37298001661775293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798000212395099,0.0,0.0,0.11337861339420575,0.0,0.0,0.33601100058345423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785665739696798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947663151361848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420445685345052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040223315602915,0.1704648196495228,0.17944289755555626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414181389261969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850241699265721,0.1919509966220252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359574826218914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19639780500460846,0.0,0.10838538281525394,0.0,0.13428731191412174,0.09863353773319636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717814507358682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089279514615597
mentalhealth,puppetmaster99,2019/04/18,"Confused and very socially awkward. Okay. I really hope this belongs here. That's one of my fears. I'm always paranoid about whether or not I'm saying the right thing or doing the right thing in that moment. You could say I should not think too much about what other people think but it doesn't seem to be as easy as just shrugging off. I have never met a therapist and talked about my problems. And it is simply out of the question because it is very expensive around here. And it is also difficult to find a proper, qualified therapist even for a massive price. Which is why I don't necessarily understand what exactly is wrong with me. 

I am not, and have not, been able to communicate comfortably with people in social situations. I thought this was just a part of my personality and that I would be able to cope with it with more exposure to social situations, but it has been a crippling problem. I have had friends when I was in school. And a handful at college, but never anyone that I could call a best friend or anyone I properly connected with. I have explored the social game as wide as possible. I have visited clubs and hung out in corners not being able to approach people. I don't even like clubs, but I went that far.

I tried volunteering with a mental health institute but I was still not able to communicate properly. From where I come from, people tend to say ""You don't talk much"" more often than initiating conversation and trying to start a topic to at least talk about. I have never had a Girlfriend because I have never been able to talk to a girl for long enough before embarrassing myself. I'm not gonna say I'm not attractive at all because, I seriously don't know. I have never been complimented in my entire life by any girl or friend about how I look let alone been given feedback. I try, I really do. Not to impress people. But to at least be a part of social life. I did have a girl who I thought was my best friend. She got really worried once when I said I was thinking about ending my life. This was when I wasn't in my best of times and she somewhat helped stop me from doing it. I don't really have suicidal thoughts anymore. But you never know right? She has very carefully ghosted me ever since. I probably scared her off.

I have never talked about this with anyone but I have been sexually abused when I was 10. I didn't even know it was sexual abuse back then. But I feel like....I don't how to express what I feel like in words when I think about it now. Again I don't understand whether this has anything to do with what I am like now. And there has been a lot of fights between my parents when I was a child. My mother tried to commit suicide. I barely remember that one. And my grandmother was the worst and most devious human being I have ever met. Childhood was pretty shit, but my parents managed to stitch things together and haven't caused too much of a ruckus after we grew up. We as in me and my Sister. I can't really talk to my Sister because a) she is abroad attending University and is very busy with a bunch of her own problems and b) I can't really listen to her cry right now over this, it's the last thing I need.

I also have this problem of feeling invisible when I do manage to talk. It's almost as if I'm not heard. I mean I understand that they must have heard me. But it seems as if they choose not to hear. I know this sounds stupid and It's obviously something wrong with me. I want to understand how to cope with this better. There was a time when I would have gladly just swallowed a bunch of pills. But I want to understand if there is a way to live with this. Is there a way to improve connections with people?

I am very sorry about this extremely long post and I completely understand if you skip it. But if you have time to stop by and read it thank you very much. And if you took the time reply thank you so much. I know people have bigger problems than this because I lurk a lot on this sub and seen things people go through that are way worse. I am simple desperate to understand myself is all.

Have a great day if you read this.",3.0820655708731017,4.8919227841463435,4.298441145281018,85.4117055496642,74.8170731707317,7.5828914810887245,24.201131141746203,8.366724835079683,1.4621974195828904,3233,101,656,58,69,1060,303,820,0.14300000000000002,0.754,0.102,-0.9852,3,1,1,0,3,2,77.0,2,9,2,4,48,40,3,5,31,1,90,8,2,4,15,154,145,70,3,22,40,5,4,3,5,5,5,10,0,6,49,41,1,2,30,5,2,9,31,18,0,2,37,16,101,22,100,95,25,81,0,0,2,0,68,29,1,22,42,503,150,8,0.22090313938274272,0.1046936391279532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044240516939888924,0.04575780629988433,0.0,0.07066246430170932,0.03676182162959567,0.0,0.0,0.03004434197433783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0438153111646846,0.09267636678614148,0.0,0.03635689230893823,0.03933012564717772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033972175729659014,0.0,0.13466050341890887,0.0,0.03759446026594119,0.0,0.13909452968491967,0.039074175056165214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04511336075228154,0.0,0.045045094604636966,0.045385674943270365,0.0,0.03805769889550411,0.04632254775694019,0.0,0.0,0.07054927269802888,0.0,0.04853034515992729,0.02849285000822228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03913092279351951,0.045650398822740856,0.0,0.08754266410510524,0.07992781460603818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049715489306810114,0.06701715880115723,0.06312529876542627,0.0,0.0,0.04038029347960555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365353740105417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02510886896521149,0.0,0.03533528409004135,0.04870929820521266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04696194145347142,0.04979477856709962,0.0,0.02961334357798418,0.0,0.0,0.04388133223883912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140258828857095,0.03601310842923919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045177685332890134,0.0936182521367953,0.08633769252307137,0.0,0.03901230384161753,0.0781969307749297,0.03710060024083691,0.0,0.0,0.07512157981287519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04812565575244049,0.0,0.0,0.04452368150498488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16238922488729982,0.032759375759757625,0.2385237670739578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047050926788814375,0.05987587370557153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811471766420356,0.0956866292390904,0.0,0.24503427607809294,0.03857682013554375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980701966948793,0.04231282885218813,0.04494758177287983,0.047634189313861784,0.21137447076865776,0.0,0.0,0.04949241443342118,0.0,0.08838516756380364,0.0,0.16981944916409736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004803888544443,0.15092005923089188,0.04202589437258054,0.14053683427195698,0.044232515877274114,0.0447131541022181,0.0,0.08044076862094376,0.0,0.0,0.0453507796225947,0.036546671929492056,0.09932175365796904,0.0,0.2251829316123921,0.0,0.0340124058095533,0.0,0.04945659578651651,0.031271275807464784,0.0,0.03528270649265526,0.0738739663647111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665287218174652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485750060831093,0.0,0.08135117258834075,0.0,0.1025942283725379,0.14675823008017866,0.11323664963090785,0.0,0.10522345052986988,0.1030483176240532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049086303186965816,0.1199829849423853,0.0,0.0,0.3219551421310986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218721869806866,0.052117758004371684,0.1052055779083472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04095588466833045,0.039866144801512286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044867572187346966,0.04502383426283791,0.06276930087872055,0.0966091619836985,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Unicornbebe,2019/04/18,"Having work anxiety nightmares every single night and I’m scared I never used to have them so I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Work has been getting tougher and tougher this past year but I love my job. I’m unfortunately now getting work nightmares almost every damn night. Even if I’m on vacation I get them!

My boss is a very no nonsense, blame her staff type so I always have to be on my toes at work. I rarely ever make mistakes at work but I think I’m so afraid to that I’m just having nightmares now.

It got to the point where I was on family vacation last week and there was a day I just didn’t want to get up, eat, go to the beach nothing! This is extremely unlike me. What is going on? I’m scared",0.6844999999999999,2.798668166666665,2.462250000000001,94.10737500000002,84.0,5.3500000000000005,19.375,6.6274283507984215,0.038500000000000416,555,15,125,6,16,183,88,150,0.172,0.747,0.081,-0.9338,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,5,11,7,1,3,4,0,14,3,1,3,2,19,33,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,2,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,5,0,17,1,14,27,1,22,0,0,0,1,4,9,1,2,11,75,23,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640954458515215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165955407399025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185128082989164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429422353506854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14961071045016028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657121623612132,0.13225653479656088,0.24637873304442576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13783504618099676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30555757819197865,0.0,0.1661905567351223,0.0,0.11693857145564618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14509220185977234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803539329657436,0.11918176298402565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196144981557364,0.0,0.09759720997214824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127672050276672,0.0,0.0,0.2744188904681287,0.0,0.14029373150697574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957527558522032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821698330685162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927661317450905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936863278820634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627965994198798,0.0,0.1206396743839547,0.08623924110772818,0.0,0.1172819238316691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5322180126499253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598591561215831,0.0,0.09415531422298884
mentalhealth,safetysec0nd,2019/04/18,"I want to die but am scared to hurt myself badly if I live, I am such a wimp.",2.2,0.2815237368421073,4.862105263157896,94.04473684210528,74.78947368421052,7.6,19.0,3.1291,-0.6239894736842109,57,0,17,0,1,21,15,19,0.6409999999999999,0.318,0.041,-0.9584,0,0,0,0,0,3,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,12,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715422552462441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4618221464819525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4763635525505236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929281808061991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455056555157295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26246252878956355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dragoncatmouse,2019/04/18,I want to understand how people engage with DBT therapy If you've done DBT could you complete my survey? [https://docs.google.com/forms/u/2/d/1Yi7WACJA3Ag6d9tP8aVzir8az-rURIgTFNdov1j8dCM/edit?usp=drive\_web](https://docs.google.com/forms/u/2/d/1Yi7WACJA3Ag6d9tP8aVzir8az-rURIgTFNdov1j8dCM/edit?usp=drive_web),46.21571428571429,60.05041247619047,20.85428571428571,-41.98428571428569,-4.333333333333344,8.514285714285714,26.04761904761905,8.841846274778883,3.3501619047619045,286,4,14,3,3,60,19,21,0.0,0.8,0.2,0.5007,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,4,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4278946174945688,0.0,0.0,0.32584190116270395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41763729272006855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829314580926341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4667083128163673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248559566512798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407133157158214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,a_Thrown_away_wife,2019/04/18,"I have a hard time being positive about mildly upsetting situations that happened years ago Check my post history if you want to know details of one. 

I don’t know how to stay positive constantly",8.372499999999999,8.524800138888892,8.802222222222222,64.01500000000001,61.5,13.866666666666667,40.22222222222222,13.023866798666859,5.880155555555558,159,8,26,6,2,53,32,36,0.113,0.675,0.212,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,7,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,4,0,4,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857298889977301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483288432753328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850391375980543,0.0,0.2887482002725823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542929789476765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21842204891688127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087071369951225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.362317233860634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3435654525136413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879557097033965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19012110861623696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757270695162264
mentalhealth,n8toxic21,2019/04/18,"How do I get a case worker? I think I would benefit greatly from a caseworker and someone to help me through life and guide me through things I can’t do on my own. I’m 23, live in Virginia. Is there something I need to be able to have a case worker? I am currently a caregiver for someone who has a case worker and honestly it just makes me realize even MORE that I would benefit from one also. I’m just not sure of the steps and if I’m even able o have one.",2.625974025974024,3.3102651616161616,4.4671284271284275,88.22545454545454,74.15151515151516,8.485425685425685,28.284271284271284,8.841846274778883,1.950493795093795,357,14,83,7,7,122,62,99,0.022,0.846,0.132,0.8778,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,7,5,0,0,6,0,11,1,0,2,1,16,18,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,11,5,11,15,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,60,15,3,0.4511098414259587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18037618860342125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979537957436042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784313663649135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24867509636487994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511847088602365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159316110951056,0.0,0.0,0.19916912734727127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150559661038577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724611571265138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056837033646885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.382223904733448,0.17364319758125618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212582843439142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984866689630152,0.14452648568435278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204554883753499,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mentalhealthwell,2019/04/18,"Depression   

There is no sky, just clouds. 

The dull gray whiteness blinds me.

I close my eyes and 

I remember the sky with 

a fondness that lifts me up 

but I’m not convinced of it’s existence. 

And I come back down. 

Clouds, close in  

Laying right on top, 

no separation.

Head in the clouds used to be something 

Free and light, though it remained a label 

now it feels like a trap. 

No room to breathe,

like a heavy weighted down blanket 

Wrapped around necks and limbs 

a comfort, now suffocates, strangles 

I feel like I have strength to fight it but 

When I try I’m too weak to move. 

something once so light and full of air 

cutting off access to anything beyond 

closing off source of anything warm, the cold 

So encompassing, it is not a feeling, 

it has become me and I have become it.

An identity, that can’t be escaped.",1.6871352431712197,4.309492936708864,2.2911325782811467,93.44763824117256,84.82278481012658,5.0984676882078634,24.771485676215853,6.5966054737557815,0.8371721518987338,636,26,129,7,19,196,99,158,0.157,0.682,0.161,0.5801,0,0,2,0,1,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,12,14,2,0,11,0,8,7,4,1,0,22,15,12,0,0,5,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,9,12,1,0,4,0,1,2,6,5,0,0,0,12,11,10,19,13,1,27,0,2,4,0,1,21,0,0,7,82,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093728134238853,0.16733651930958485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14454023592428128,0.0,0.0,0.4152045491610308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192276941182054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190154355081107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28513557745544843,0.2685770157599805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929153314306068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755034858324053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19978638270985066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001859437155213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129376524369684,0.16052858330689093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28942280289532546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18468328705295256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762185949229113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16234899490210794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289014268288129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Furebel,2019/04/18,"Psychotherapies are not working (Poland). Are there any alternatives to cure depression? Without dragging off, I had depression for a long time, since three years of therapy (was diagnosed with depression way too late) I had 4 different psychotherapists (the first one said that I can't be helped, and so far he was right), spent years and thousands worth of dollars on trying to cure myself by attending at therapies and taking prescribed drugs, it feels like it was just money and time sink. I live in constant fear of failing anything, even little things, and end up with pain in my chest forcing me to hit and bite myself. I was able to hang on somehow with my friends, but now I lot literally everyone, my best friend, some other friends, my girlfriend, I just have no one left. I have literally no idea if there is anything that I can do, but I am very desperate to try anything.",7.9218518518518515,7.962221802469138,7.309012345679013,74.72055555555556,62.45679012345679,10.903703703703703,37.13580246913581,10.504223727775694,3.864846913580248,700,31,126,15,9,218,112,162,0.128,0.762,0.111,0.0156,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,4,9,11,0,1,2,0,16,4,1,0,0,21,21,10,0,1,7,0,1,1,4,0,3,1,0,0,6,9,0,0,2,0,4,2,5,6,0,5,8,2,17,5,21,11,3,24,0,4,0,0,7,11,0,4,11,91,23,2,0.13234348946217486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999811108590748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267222462937946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888632724610656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301629622263046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419617606468693,0.13432585599553964,0.0,0.1382707786121067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534764314990232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721705003468813,0.0,0.0,0.08741162662859077,0.0,0.0,0.1264598756367524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892321932516395,0.06691684474900626,0.09454621531525728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112571304528823,0.0,0.0,0.3067447549987691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870705130546648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493996906978928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14928922058998362,0.0,0.14379158853247698,0.0,0.0,0.06465634402335378,0.13264294432327606,0.11686172584022625,0.11711982356728327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251370209277173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17935874707199534,0.0,0.14082280369754616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302061688815618,0.1258889648326697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947590208299557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950583372507377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30269262809894143,0.0,0.0879231337787899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15434110596708814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970508418002298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919723893775156,0.0,0.10504810185269726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275744011531018,0.0,0.09634763653181544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17044973632379515
mentalhealth,0001yun,2019/04/18,"Can daydreaming be harmful in any kind? I recently daydream a lot, about situations that will never happen, such as wild fantasies with a specific person, I focus a lot on self improvement and I thought that my daydreams are related to 'goals' or 'things I want to happen', I don't want to damage my self confidence if anything goes 'wrong' with a specific person, as example. But I cannot stop this, I don't want to, I desire these fantasies so much and this alone sounds like it could damage my mental health in any form, I don't know if anyone understands what I mean...

I don't know if the thought that 'these dreams never become reality' alone helps

Is there any psychological source for this?",9.297430025445292,7.5753350916030575,8.958587786259542,69.7214949109415,60.679389312977094,12.397455470737913,37.100508905852415,11.20814326018867,4.032021882951653,551,20,100,12,6,178,80,131,0.051,0.7290000000000001,0.22,0.9592,0,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,5,0,11,1,0,0,2,25,22,10,0,8,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,4,11,4,0,1,6,3,0,0,7,4,0,0,2,1,14,2,13,17,4,7,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,6,5,70,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072864150642285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30264403666182754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372797858159466,0.0,0.12207730225605345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383809128234875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844335888115308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623663007226059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576863905922201,0.0,0.0,0.09943416131562953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448102937427385,0.16305574568074413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247506536496515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25223937532510265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159385058653902,0.0,0.0,0.14949932679752267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090524367222633,0.0,0.2288293805352192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590625233722962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647519922015206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095174644519204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674873692276898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240251015423179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985554467077311,0.0,0.0,0.2355425919540032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15443491572717027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624974891725009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219463654885213,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Throwaway_2000000,2019/04/18,"I feel like nobody likes to be arround me (M18) First off i want to state some things about my life so far. My dad is an abusive + manipulative piece of shit. My mom + her mother + stepdad were constantly terrorized by him. My mum got beaten up by my dad and he made her sell her body.(unconfirmed but highly possible as she never admitted it to me.) When i was in Kindergarten i wasnt allowed to go to any of my very few  friends due to my dad saying that they were anti social in his eyes. In my whole 2-3 years(cant remember correctly) i was supposed to be in Kindergarten i was there for like 3-4 weeks total. Primary school was pretty much the same. Except my mum ran away from my dad with me and my brother. Switched schools like 4-5 times.        In those few years. Had like 4-5 friends in total. Never really hung out with them after school like its normal here(i life in germany) Secondary School was pretty much the same except that i had like 2 friends and got bullied by the rest. Not fully bullied but they talked shit about me and made fun of me. My friend lifed in a different town were my school was. I wasnt able to go there,except the few times that my mum drove me.(lets name him Pat.) Pat had always had a significant amount of more friends than me + Girlfriends(i never even talked to a girl except about school stuff). I life in an village with an population of about 700 people. Never had any friends here either. Always in that city were my school was. I dont really know how i got to be friend with Pat either. I visit my dad every second weekend. But i only  visit him for the pocket money. (40 per weekend.)

Now. 
I'm on another school doing my GCSE. I completly lost interrest in doing anything i loved. (Gaming,posting to my facebook page with about 120k likes). Cant get out of  bed, my energy isnt there. My mum gifted me the application to do my drivers license(cost her about 340€'s and she saved up months to be able to buy that for me(we life on social care)) never did it and dont really have the energy to learn for the two requires tests. I'm going to get kicked out of school due to my grades being fucking aweful.I'm just a complete failure. I dont fit into this system they built. I feel like do not know how to properly talk or detect social clues properly. The dialogues i have with myself in my head are far more complex than i ever had with another human being. I have suicidal thoughts pretty much daily but i just ignore them(i would 10/10 do it but my mum would be in a shitload of amount of pain.) I dont really have any goals that i want to accomplish either. My main source of income is through fraud. (Social Engineering). (the only job that i know of would be being a budtender but weed is illegal here)With that money i basicly just buy food(unhealthy crap) or weed(helps me clear my mind from those feelings for a few hours.) I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I would love to just end it all but my mum would be sad. Never had anyone to talk to and probably never will. My only friend is my voice in my head. And maybe weed(as cringe as it sounds its the only thing that gets me out of my bed and go outside for a few minutes to smoke a joint.) Also if its the rare occasion that i'm smoking with pat i feel like he's annoyed of me.(asking questions like ""so when are you going home""). How can i learn to properly express my thoughts and feelings into reality? 

I actually dont know why i wrote this post but i'm sorry for you if you read it. Its probably unreadable.(no formatting + my english is pretty much self taught).

Have a nice day.",2.38526454157082,4.547303234636875,3.6290404206375295,87.79820571804142,78.10614525139665,6.558133420966152,22.959579362471253,7.618777277803332,1.0523891554387117,2820,89,565,42,68,917,302,716,0.087,0.752,0.161,0.9958,4,0,1,0,0,0,104.0,0,3,4,6,24,37,6,1,25,0,64,15,6,7,13,103,105,32,1,10,24,14,5,11,8,6,6,3,3,3,28,24,0,2,18,3,5,9,19,11,0,3,33,9,91,26,99,56,27,69,0,2,1,3,62,31,4,6,37,383,119,20,0.09410115725318224,0.05574724190495746,0.04591457761198997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037626330728779064,0.07829970112118438,0.0,0.0,0.09598802069751436,0.09867326821100933,0.0,0.0,0.04666153112995546,0.0328988585561556,0.0,0.03871861724057145,0.0,0.04398593965461977,0.0,0.044205567430019854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04797120066649622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866327303052363,0.05084496047106221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030343730816898017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04915784045960419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33085756641564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0416728473115441,0.0,0.0,0.031076463438288036,0.042559942064213874,0.039642141767719456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895093132656052,0.10083882831596047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04002119814397917,0.05689374643731721,0.0,0.2908092826631813,0.04349750177736017,0.07374595617412702,0.0,0.13369964057250835,0.0,0.11289193763952265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657493552628978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031537011069772296,0.04971151957501483,0.047195566632162886,0.0,0.04633534232986847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046690439263510096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928883767120675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04811240441992099,0.16616607567440286,0.2528518971046945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051361264585136616,0.0,0.08492996837546847,0.08904079026375683,0.0,0.0,0.04726863025800754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04750767180059204,0.05510506903229002,0.037555322971041215,0.0,0.1383503559980275,0.0,0.2540181476909488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046099577270321525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313634090318386,0.05006513297113963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032618946999341536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05304245792213684,0.09012289668613456,0.19146941380636875,0.10145696325947584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270741609255358,0.0,0.047063311181376175,0.0,0.12056722186846315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05329913362177985,0.0,0.0,0.03741650859581153,0.0,0.4285592773255724,0.0,0.0,0.04908401485744592,0.0,0.09659348565042583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184855876290616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052669270684860534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053861655775135284,0.05146569639956403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126989142324748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251662753894052,0.0,0.0,0.0747058076577616,0.054871141535791375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04596157860171262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03882165490215347,0.05550330062484176,0.0,0.037741136127098784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0424558289611423,0.05253029076355782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671169055464041,0.0,0.0,0.030299030021709444
mentalhealth,REMviolentNirv,2019/04/18,"Be kind Be kind. You don’t know how close she is to the edge. You don’t know how hard his year’s been. Be kind, be human. It’s easy.",-3.658437499999998,-2.233027468749997,-0.9252499999999984,113.09525,104.9375,2.5600000000000005,6.4,3.1291,-2.9727325,99,0,31,0,5,33,21,32,0.037000000000000005,0.613,0.349,0.9136,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,2,0,5,10,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,4,3,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566266918006835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8949636327742303,0.314880006281323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18448148609349346
mentalhealth,Kayjo29,2019/04/18,"Anybody else feel worse in the mornings? I've found that my low mood/worrying symptoms are so much more intense when I wake up in the morning and then sort of dull a bit as the day goes on. As soon as I wake up my thoughts immediately start racing, and I get actual physical sensations like nausea and a tight chest, and it's been taking hours to summon the courage to actually get out if bed.

Wondering why this is and how common it is - anyone else go through the same thing?",9.13626315789474,6.2871402842105315,8.950394736842108,73.19401315789476,61.94736842105264,12.447368421052632,38.48684210526316,10.686352973137794,3.7827368421052636,377,14,77,7,4,123,72,95,0.08800000000000001,0.8340000000000001,0.078,-0.2491,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,7,0,4,4,3,1,0,15,13,13,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,2,5,2,13,10,4,15,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,3,8,48,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.4194839903743502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502849986176684,0.22022256938429294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23464936949015386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861294111734995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3590951301670825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867574946084382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356611335608146,0.0,0.0,0.22458552075638555,0.0,0.12215044035236072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21166408695023115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500460191289084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15799927392942312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212951708634534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233959703188865,0.161601628055828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279083979819476,0.0,0.0,0.1706314853054047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939421146130739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330838827257084,0.0,0.2182732208216612,0.219033409636141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,lukestorm22,2019/04/18,"I feel like im nothing sometimes? I was always a underconfident child and bullied alot and I tried to build up this fake persona that im a badboy who does drugs and smokes ect, but now its got to the point where im 24, jobless and a weed/cocaine/ketamine/alcohol/gambling/self harm/sex addict and my body is so fucking tired now its insane, everyday I feel like im going to die, and now ontop of that I can never think straight anymore, im just a selfish walking talking pile of addictions that doesnt care about anything, and I have been since I was 12, deep down im not even sure I want to change it, but now that my heads starting to hurt all the time and my body is failing me Im getting scared. I guess Ive always used addictions to hide my guilt, shame, sadness, ect, and its gone so far now, and I think cause the cocaine has fucked with my brain and I cant think straight anymore I just cant even process all the stuff Ive done, even before my cocaine addiction I couldnt process it and now I just actively am admitting that I dont want to process it and even if Im not touching cocaine again Im still drinking every day and getting high and slowly (or probably quite quickly at this point) dying. I guess I didnt really have a question here, I can give myself better advice that any of you can give me, and you can all do the same for yourselves, but if we cant follow our own advice then we shouldnt ask for others, I just wanted to vent, so Im sorry you had to read this.",5.390917344429732,4.645505829581996,6.000654435407604,84.6246699451485,67.87459807073955,8.603820692264042,31.798940798184226,7.5105763829236425,1.8973777567618688,1167,42,253,10,17,381,160,311,0.217,0.746,0.037000000000000005,-0.9953,1,0,8,0,0,0,31.0,3,3,0,3,23,15,2,3,11,0,26,13,4,2,5,54,51,26,2,7,12,0,3,2,0,1,6,0,0,1,18,19,1,0,7,2,0,4,11,10,0,0,8,3,36,5,19,41,6,30,0,3,0,2,14,11,2,7,17,161,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886264191445477,0.0,0.12935972840609425,0.0,0.0707367203298472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015035986288353,0.0,0.0,0.045011304304525664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128490587117045,0.0,0.0,0.054468530037444916,0.0,0.061878487561079436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632260785208869,0.0,0.0,0.05853946095419923,0.0,0.1470437965788542,0.0,0.0738896587523164,0.0,0.0,0.06748486827926768,0.06799511294614907,0.07001998614792686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0426869173343433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738903489484708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05792310213957379,0.06773510170438697,0.07757390190552613,0.06484076286972867,0.07675910392364836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748708402191863,0.0,0.055767724766810634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669350595418855,0.09457195083425764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238272701698315,0.06916283199634309,0.12699049181950325,0.037617164080376034,0.0,0.052937994988281625,0.0,0.14583095862478254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792978612709859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993311203121788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085750352441664,0.0,0.7149629546330465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467394350699847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051049620841840185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351085670839206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514142901717873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136375269383385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414767574977042,0.07040095371655157,0.06620766859561979,0.0,0.042402853032366884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06626749336055739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905035169540387,0.0,0.0,0.054752850734461414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546336185134778,0.07409401359877442,0.04684945047432915,0.0,0.05285922520735024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07577143566946183,0.0,0.0,0.06238306237316073,0.0,0.0,0.05320081921801206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723517041865787,0.0,0.0,0.03859577942002757,0.07607538842863798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04493849999460716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05716669805280141,0.0,0.0,0.1171213002705198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dagdag-sulsul,2019/04/18,"i honestly don't know what to do i've been having a hard time lately. mentally and physically. i find myself getting shaky and out of breath almost all the time. any tips on how to deal with this? this is so hard to write down but i just had to. i don't know what else to do. i wish i could see a professional but it's hard to find one especially in our area. even if there's one, there's very little chance i could go. anything that could possibly help this? 

​

i feel like i should go more in depth with my situation but it's really hard to write it all down since my mind would literally black out when i try to piece words together. writer's block or something like that probably?",0.8899212924606452,3.30690541549296,2.542294946147475,91.7131027340514,86.39436619718309,6.439768019884013,18.21209610604805,7.724431198458867,0.512879370339685,547,14,121,11,17,179,88,142,0.078,0.7879999999999999,0.133,0.8938,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,3,0,13,1,1,1,2,33,21,10,0,7,6,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,2,7,14,3,18,14,4,16,0,0,2,0,5,10,0,4,6,78,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909820615660962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050882597197945,0.16879074119789966,0.09446350004147612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431101739777826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3327247721116003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14321001438786518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604140259386353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174868334484801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023702264916783,0.09923726516692104,0.0,0.0,0.2539222764834481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257469300326702,0.0,0.15789140241863794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4977439671932603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310838242676506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268250392873495,0.0,0.1566964253497772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572872769522284,0.13922421954637362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399885140864532,0.0,0.1402594070956358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18825789571629767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566000483097008,0.0,0.0,0.14976837396102888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898924328169182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069321098607653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490771035279015,0.1561405553298996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693963277164614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199896746729028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431070842525288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461522092479327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973953739657698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867761226431604,0.0,0.16879074119789966,0.0
mentalhealth,sdkjvc,2019/04/18,"How do I deal with my mentally ill boyfriend who is pushing me away? Struggling so much My boyfriend and I have been together around 3 years.  He has always had some struggles with his mental health but never got help for it. Now I think everything has built up inside him and life has thrown him so curve balls so he’s really struggling at the minute. He has anxiety issues, depression I think, very low self esteem and he’s also mentioned about a childhood trauma that he says he thinks keeps giving him flash backs. His mum is also ill at the minute so of course he’s worried about that. 

I feel terrible, I know I can’t heal him but I can be there for him. I’m struggling to understand because when I’ve been in a dark place I wanted my boyfriend more than ever whereas he said he needs his space to clear his head. I understand  people deal with things differently & I feel so selfish for saying this. But I am struggling not being able to see him, even just to give him a hug. I’ve lost my boyfriend. I worry about him and care about him so much. I understand he needs to put himself first & our relationship needs to take a back seat but it doesn’t mean he had to cut it off completely. 

He tells me he feels he doesn’t want to drag me down with him & his problems and that he doesn’t want to be a burden. I’ve tried to tell him that’s not the case and I don’t feel like that. I want to be there by his side holding his hand in this situation. I saw him yesterday, only for around 20 minutes then he wanted me to leave. That really hurt as I felt like he just didn’t want to see me at all, again I can’t believe how selfish I sound saying that. But he has agreed to meet up with me next week. I know it wasn’t the right time but I asked him if he had feelings for me and he said of course he does and I keep trying to tell myself that if he didn’t care about us then he wouldn’t have promised to meet up with me next week. 

I’m struggling to cope. I just want him to be ok. I’m struggling not to text him. I thought about maybe in a few days just sending a quick line asking if he’s ok and if work has been ok. Any advice on how to deal with everything?

TLDR; boyfriend at breaking point mentally and struggling to cope and I’m struggling to cope with him taking a break from the relationship.",2.1595542822372096,3.8030459584199576,3.066862735155418,93.97014451599821,76.94178794178794,6.2727245068708495,21.91881750418336,7.0180271515732855,0.3780383449115159,1810,49,411,19,41,574,207,481,0.193,0.71,0.097,-0.9954,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,2,0,0,3,34,29,1,9,13,3,34,8,2,3,4,77,81,36,0,16,17,1,7,2,0,1,5,6,0,1,16,21,0,3,16,1,0,3,14,20,0,1,16,16,64,9,63,59,6,47,0,4,3,1,75,22,0,5,22,249,80,1,0.06114502842138012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975021410740741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779531427497473,0.05087756187268869,0.1987518382453269,0.0,0.04158071607890567,0.0,0.046775779381053297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886407758770868,0.1143246952037621,0.0,0.05744776697313981,0.09403350519736416,0.0,0.037273441798037994,0.0,0.0,0.06888950846468446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468286315624233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410939896696906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039433484929797584,0.18911351829976397,0.05266412338264687,0.0,0.0,0.06388354064443817,0.0,0.0,0.05350842642062497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0403857145998243,0.055309178826079636,0.0,0.0,0.10990641778188774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154583817861947,0.043682020521588316,0.058708816105438474,0.0,0.0,0.05200992993927368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173117657142951,0.0,0.0,0.04890326493322589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275243950146264,0.0649943059414941,0.0,0.0,0.040984223668968665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545701755664499,0.0,0.0,0.06381952369480841,0.0,0.1086970214105486,0.0,0.0,0.06720741707950291,0.0,0.0,0.06474375645310403,0.0,0.0,0.04318854184734045,0.05974474466400441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674702149234198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142839949968499,0.0666048612301979,0.0,0.0,0.18485942155375187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08989726265371062,0.13601479142583436,0.04715881539000232,0.0,0.13005686280272233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04650354941496513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042390263830316126,0.0,0.06388354064443817,0.0,0.057801815677985736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850753438279765,0.0,0.06146764193365881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834214182934206,0.0,0.0,0.13129375527294398,0.0,0.05221752018109933,0.11632584819870165,0.14587494234725842,0.0,0.0,0.0974493423566465,0.0,0.06378759987869291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872957382189501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5752985374352093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194690356040083,0.0,0.16033034974952304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04062203993296888,0.11753779585315093,0.0,0.04854232260062366,0.03565415778779995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302692126607797,0.0,0.0,0.19096239294570647,0.07354994060214147,0.0,0.0,0.05045105207304793,0.2524544538319279,0.0,0.09809370717674534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0445143089245385,0.12419148882444425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039375393584865234
mentalhealth,MrStarmann,2019/04/18,"I need help with cigarettes Hello, I don't know if here's the right place for this topic but is the best I could find. Sorry if I misuse this subreddit.

I wouldn't consider myself a smoker, but I have certainly smoked once in a while. And I think that was enough. 

The second time I ever smoked I nearly finished a whole package; I was in a bit if a bad place that night. After that I smoked occasionally, just on two or maybe three occasions while spending some time with friends, nevere more than 10 cigarettes, an then maybe about a month or two in between the three occasions.

My point is that lately I felt the urge to have a cigarette. A really big urge. To the point where the idea kept coming to my mind throughout the day. I had felt mostly the same thing between the three occasions I mentioned, but after smoking those nights I just didn't want to do it anymore for at least a month until the urge kind of came back, but never as strong as this time. So I thought I had everything under control.

This time I just couldn't resist, and ended up buying a package with a friend. I just smoked one, but kept the package.

That was two days ago, and yesterday i couldn't keep the idea of having another one out of my mind. It came an went, but in the end it was controllable.

Today I had some emotional issues linked to some anxiety, in the course of one hour or so. And the only thing that I was thinking was cigarettes. I felt a big attraction towards smoking during that time, something compared to the way you feel when you are really into somebody. I ran towards the package and took one out. I had no way to smoke it because I have a pet cockatiel and I read that smoke is really bad for them. So, I just held the cigarettes with my hand and started smelling it. Then I realized how bad this was becoming and left the cigarette in the package.

I just want to know if this is reversible and how much time does it take to stop feeling the necessity to smoke. I have all the intentions to quit. Although I don't consider myself deep into the cigarette addiction (I don't think I've had more than 40, maybe 45 in all my life), I think this might be a red light. I hope is not too late to stop this possible addiction, or maybe there's no turning back and I should start thinking as an addict.

I would really appreciate your responses.",4.790249266862169,5.644217668831171,5.419227761485826,82.75368035190617,69.28138528138528,8.991593352883674,28.539589442815252,9.19923166143015,2.24668948470884,1841,63,368,35,31,595,204,462,0.078,0.836,0.086,0.7796,0,0,16,0,0,0,47.0,0,3,1,5,20,11,0,0,41,0,36,5,1,5,6,95,67,39,0,14,21,0,6,0,2,4,4,0,1,0,25,21,0,8,18,1,2,6,12,3,0,11,25,9,48,8,52,34,15,74,0,0,1,0,9,28,0,14,38,280,73,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385465921313644,0.0,0.0,0.06465704270117531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648410785176105,0.055799015693451984,0.0,0.07233702996114258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217294723138978,0.18270593754367567,0.04446363890368722,0.08055666590940097,0.0,0.0,0.07654618818393671,0.0,0.0796317533079512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668482020071166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283148132644423,0.0,0.0,0.16361716263202414,0.058236775196149275,0.0,0.0,0.09408072611769404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383041747425698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204785214090568,0.12920664759781372,0.07536667387724312,0.0,0.0,0.06597854227434713,0.0,0.0,0.06555390430444334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376146367174245,0.0,0.21010194984831795,0.0,0.06666597638197977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127067590988254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04889024554906802,0.0,0.0,0.0724460276674748,0.07183135583443707,0.0,0.0,0.16468110382843218,0.0,0.076130566958285,0.0,0.06483255740229757,0.0,0.07595594269465501,0.08017199862744673,0.0,0.16455933423690525,0.0,0.07924968723213706,0.0,0.05151978558572533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931127410862504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07737797333104225,0.1472975187570462,0.0,0.11644026491074927,0.0,0.053619403417622113,0.054084197575023064,0.1125118817837254,0.0,0.0,0.1368987807935648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077678880061572,0.1977045354720897,0.05547427147003165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241386607087315,0.0,0.1379040376367244,0.0822290605346863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077580828725041,0.07295988941117787,0.0,0.18690931329151755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062290490219784715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561528915964714,0.0,0.08165052708946374,0.1032548282724956,0.0,0.0,0.12196246417575825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548419158656421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969163902221536,0.23368551709763236,0.0,0.0579063322178645,0.25519193090055964,0.0,0.06913873426245287,0.0,0.08103919132221539,0.0,0.07933793874673356,0.21375578605300705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604398147715292,0.11579299319411344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761625052034356,0.0,0.0814350734922967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181459035219278,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,automate_life,2019/04/18,"Not sure what to do Hello, not sure if this is the best place to say all of this but anyway...

​

I'm a 27 year old male who has had numerous issues for as long as I can remember.

After a fairly serious illness during my teenage years, I started having a big problem with what people thought of me in every situation - to the point of not wanting to upset complete strangers. Not sure how the illness links in to this but I remember feeling this way after that.

If someone ever shows any signs of being angry with me, I feel horrible. It really eats me up. Even worse when it is someone I am close with.

​

Anyway, on to the next issue.

During a pretty serious relationship I gained a lot of weight.

​

That ended 2 years ago and I have so far lost 30kg (Nearly all of the weight I gained, am no longer overweight) and taken up a few sports, most of my nights are busy with various trainings now. You'd think I should be happy but fuck, I hate myself more than I ever have.

​

I wish I knew why I felt this way or could just fix it.

  
Every day I just wonder what the point is. I put on a brave face and am always smiling and nice to everyone but that's just a facade.

Only one of my close friends knows most of this but I don't want to burden them with my bull shit.

I have received some good advice from them and am trying to keep thinking about it but its just hard. 

​

I feel like at this point I'm just blabbing on about crap and I don't even know what I expect from posting this but I just want to let it out pretty much.",2.142225705329153,4.070376263322885,3.4222570532915384,90.11890282131664,77.90282131661442,5.7793103448275875,21.971786833855802,6.647476241863616,0.4610338557993727,1224,35,253,11,29,398,175,319,0.16699999999999998,0.674,0.159,0.2374,0,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,1,2,4,18,20,4,1,14,0,24,10,3,1,7,70,47,21,0,10,20,0,7,1,1,1,3,1,0,1,22,14,4,1,14,2,0,2,7,10,0,1,6,8,33,10,44,35,11,40,0,1,0,1,10,18,3,8,18,185,55,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845659244619443,0.06209921968734899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058291080120881175,0.3795209158646776,0.42562033339380895,0.04763956375315621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351803233922166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345096687290695,0.0,0.0,0.055932937012021615,0.0,0.0,0.045179453277266836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168339532535503,0.0,0.0,0.062047625896882126,0.0,0.0,0.0925408702314843,0.12673688186704668,0.11804812681821444,0.06694021946596865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062652066731939,0.050047055407989816,0.06726344929750351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05412404821756449,0.06476439436819961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875851605438715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457447676698485,0.06275520557527735,0.06916446265648478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462377060551529,0.0,0.0622677910529421,0.0,0.0,0.07700040625967504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716356251860858,0.0,0.034225163017103384,0.0,0.0,0.06199616007791615,0.0,0.0,0.07647292508583946,0.05955795759797392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05149822777581165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450391420951262,0.06574154267092144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351056990718942,0.0,0.04747084334729172,0.05327971752333966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856707307361517,0.0,0.07319219807404903,0.0,0.1986728615602084,0.0,0.06709298906935475,0.14254152673726542,0.0,0.06703283822673944,0.0,0.07042427170080097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044878802148998136,0.0,0.0,0.07521247605316997,0.15871652248134285,0.0,0.0,0.05571026885598152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191009072294899,0.0,0.07874436091004414,0.0,0.0,0.1187141539144782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04958504129478721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807703351163505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977638108854508,0.0,0.05561556630891837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047562508319694385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239601415089182,0.1112122395676202,0.0,0.17061537986120567,0.0,0.0,0.06321342462705275,0.0,0.08055938931293694,0.0,0.07597127875942591,0.0,0.0,0.07139167250219927,0.0,0.0,0.42562033339380895,0.13533869181801553
mentalhealth,Quirkimera,2019/04/18,"I don't really understand how to move forward from here or what's going on with my head. (F23) So, I guess background prior to this new stuff that has been going on. I have basically suffered from social anxiety and generalized anxiety all of my life and, though untested, believe I may be an undiagnosed case of High Functioning Asperger's Syndrome. Though all of this wasn't really treated or confirmed or suggested to me until I was moved out and 20 years old. (Asperger's not confirmed, though my therapists have suggested it to be a high probability. My insurance doesn't deem it a necessary test at this point, though, so I won't be going through the $1,000 test available to me to confirm since there is no foreseeable benefit to that other than perhaps mental rest that I wasn't just a typical weirdo kid, lol.)

Aside from this, there shouldn't be anything wrong with me. I am able to live away from my parents, I live in a small but functional apartment with my older sister, I have a car and even a lovable dog I adore, I have a job with fairly minimal stress and a decent amount of pay for no degree, and I have the materials to pursue my love of art in my spare time.

My issue is that, lately, I just feel completely and totally disconnected with myself. 

So, it started as something fairly small in frustration at myself for social mishaps and anxieties in public. Making mistakes, saying the wrong thing, etc... Those moments really stick to me and replay over and over in my head. Sometimes I even get sucked out of the present moment and thrust back into the awkward moment when I am alone and find myself suddenly bursting out an audible response to the situation. 
(Ex... I accidentally block an item from a man at the grocery store and panic, move away with eyes on floor and a mumble ""sorry"" that I suspect he didn't hear. Thinking about it hours to days later and suddenly nervously saying ""Oh, sorry, am I in the way...?"" as if reliving and repeating the convo. Or just cringing so hard to myself that I feel compelled to talk aloud to myself about my social performance.)

This keeps happening more and more frequently if I don't consciously focus to try and pull myself from recalling these types of memories.
And then, most frustratingly in these moment, I get a weird sort of experience in that I feel like I'm almost two people. 
Almost.
What happens is that, when I'm calm, I feel like me. And then I try and do something and it feels like I am literally puppeted by by my anxiety to act directly against what I know I should be doing in the moment. 
Even something simple as saying hello to a greeter in a store, which I know is perfectly fine and a completely insignificant experience, forces my anxiety out to suddenly make me incredibly self conscious and react in a way that directly contradicts what I know in my head is the right way to respond.

It's just been getting worse and worse. It's to the point that I feel completely disconnected from who I am and hopeless to stop it and move forward with my life. I can't stand to be around my family or friends because I just don't feel like myself, and it feels like they're equally disappointed when I am around and not able to muster up my usual quirky and generally upbeat attitude.
I keep spiraling down to the point that I just feel hollow and empty. I can't draw or write like I used to, my work is suffering, everything outside of the house seems to cause me such stress and anxiety like it never has before. Not to mention that I feel like a failure as a human being for not being able to afford to attend a University at the moment or being able to maintain a relationship due to my anxieties and personal insecurities.
At this point, it feels like I'm not even here. I'm just existing and going places out of necessity or forced to stay out due to not being able to afford the gas or supplies to do anything outside of paying bills. People want me around, but every social appearance I make just seems to be disappointing everyone involved. 
I don't feel like myself anymore. Heck, even my own name has been making me angry lately and I can't really reason why. 
I don't know whether I'm just high-functioning crazy now or what, and I don't know what to do to move on from here. I'm looking to speak to a doctor soon to see if anxiety medication or even birth control to regulate hormones could help me out to get out of this funk and just feel normal again. Does anyone out there have any clue what any of this is? If I could put a name to whatever is wrong with my head, maybe then I could at least figure out a way to combat it instead of just letting myself rot away between mindless internet surfing, sleep and work.

Any help is appreciated, thank you!",8.183616605616603,7.082548712087912,8.479523809523812,70.28658730158732,62.42857142857143,11.86910866910867,36.046398046398046,11.026568539559578,3.9221555555555554,3768,144,686,86,45,1248,371,910,0.141,0.763,0.096,-0.9889,4,1,3,0,0,1,96.0,0,1,0,5,46,38,3,6,41,1,64,11,6,11,5,162,119,76,0,12,35,3,14,10,1,4,4,6,0,5,47,60,0,5,28,1,5,17,24,19,0,1,7,23,88,19,135,93,13,119,0,5,3,1,36,57,2,24,53,497,135,9,0.22570404192914406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904039980442918,0.04675226373220824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09209189293992312,0.0,0.276260758874665,0.0,0.0447675522216912,0.031563502799444754,0.0,0.07429407811078872,0.1205546696115798,0.0,0.0,0.12723382626909488,0.03471049527288979,0.0,0.027517417810165742,0.0,0.038411503158702544,0.05085823298613265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046372044820195316,0.0,0.0,0.14198783625816566,0.0,0.05062925500555336,0.10812378706522677,0.0,0.0,0.02911208700295641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0462035301627254,0.0395030256169784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05034393378400428,0.1788904692344198,0.0,0.038033077972162134,0.04313397687950437,0.04056964788105548,0.08831274488671262,0.04255473671709445,0.0,0.2967191376422967,0.2579888202431688,0.0,0.0,0.04125788106995111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03487567658227462,0.0,0.09433683705374894,0.0,0.10261824670401594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04972768965672746,0.0,0.0798357355515587,0.0,0.040437297755330684,0.0,0.1853099701095798,0.0,0.05087697178485229,0.0,0.060513864667236524,0.14308122738596202,0.0,0.0,0.04445460333663734,0.052086432156298185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047115276004596265,0.04479528698193587,0.0802464491763688,0.0,0.0,0.12404103877362475,0.0,0.10184159610886284,0.0,0.0,0.046159534957849024,0.06376857587042854,0.22053518827011265,0.0,0.07972032164526882,0.0,0.03790691004099163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040741341983037874,0.0,0.12052736048664972,0.0,0.04535000936059478,0.0,0.0,0.04547461539481932,0.045491317621473404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23988767723718185,0.0,0.0,0.034815374269715975,0.0435972740292148,0.0,0.0,0.04422840791699021,0.0,0.0,0.04736768489962728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052963012510266506,0.050123525657955234,0.0,0.0,0.06258990555379118,0.03941521272035853,0.04716253703188319,0.0,0.17069061889326742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04866942630239752,0.0,0.0,0.04537898040269485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156734309936864,0.046412269211652056,0.0,0.04846433473043835,0.0,0.038550003716311135,0.0,0.10769334794337786,0.0,0.0,0.03597137988334197,0.08218899316852543,0.047091707990917664,0.0,0.0,0.03734094316900029,0.05074015995140183,0.0451734085377871,0.1840614777332274,0.0,0.10425479902731792,0.04464541374106636,0.10106287851103926,0.031950896513955315,0.04811409556362251,0.0,0.03773973708215099,0.10341728698219116,0.0,0.051675425757989384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03628247187709811,0.0,0.04155959150279578,0.0,0.05241195776344962,0.029989547281238232,0.02892440730768406,0.1774024601866965,0.0,0.02632196838254174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061295291546987325,0.0,0.044096010576957216,0.046993173505759225,0.0,0.03898716495149547,0.049716222991618216,0.0,0.026625218343978508,0.14332269025996733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04073255836461322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572609225863295,0.0,0.09200468046462064,0.0,0.14806316294125693,0.0,0.029069200600935388
mentalhealth,wishitwassunday,2019/04/18,"Graduating and I'm spiralling So ltl;ftp and a throwaway account. 

Basically I've always had issues with my mental health and never been officially diagnosed but I have had counselling and therapy. A few years ago I hit a major slump starting with a full blown panic attack and messing up an entire year of college (which is very obvious when looking at my transcripts because my grades bounce back almost instantly after), but it essentially wrecked my grad school applications. 

Now I'm a month from graduating and I feel like I've just been numb and slowly spiralling down the rabbit hole. The worst part is even though my family have zero idea about how I really feel, they've been nothing but fully supportive and positive about my graduation and future, and I feel so horrible feeling the way I feel about myself because I keep putting myself down because that's the only way I can essentially protect myself from feeling like a failure.

I don't even know where I'm going with this, I guess it's just difficult to fully articulate what I'm feeling and I just needed to vent into ""the void"" so to speak.",7.743764227642274,8.223873258536589,7.995426829268298,68.16663617886181,62.75609756097561,10.540650406504065,36.107723577235774,10.317481424215053,3.945235772357723,898,39,144,19,12,294,123,205,0.155,0.746,0.099,-0.9455,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,17,9,1,1,12,0,11,3,0,1,2,37,31,20,0,1,6,0,7,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,15,0,2,9,0,1,2,2,6,0,1,5,9,20,3,18,25,5,22,0,0,1,0,1,7,0,2,13,101,26,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230001497077582,0.0,0.1389455906313805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545735385393202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785668550266085,0.0,0.10669595086793693,0.0,0.25375584839139953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083593950919462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18329603737158834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080821988476032,0.0,0.4911197208131774,0.19825676839766446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885908370369077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528570275554148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749273163590845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566403254673433,0.0,0.1448267774399052,0.0,0.12333403962310313,0.0,0.0,0.07625749200378197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355798090884468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11652135123660615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983492173473522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075491097099653,0.0,0.0,0.10288692647600607,0.1070183364808321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314156151055964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055313297776095,0.0,0.16280202676989522,0.0,0.1502608483668491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948961043101554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889160622023405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404299957472474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821327116879534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15746036422489745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868129164290312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632853714071386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448946759824792,0.0,0.2202784863485024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17871055856181034
mentalhealth,throwaway7777477757,2019/04/18,Im scared of myself  idk its not like i dont want to be here almost indifferent and curious of what else may be out there and that possibly its better than this. Everyday is just lonely existential pain i hope that doesn't seem as dramatic as it sounds it just really sucks no one really cares about me true me they all even you guys just love the vision of me built in your heads no one knows who i am i dont even im sorry for posting this i just figured id reach out anon im lost and scared i almost feel like a sociopath but then i think im being dramatic i do that alot mahybe even making these posts was a selfish desire for attention i really dont know but i hate it i want it to stop   on the bright side 1 month till i beat teen pregnancy  suck it mom and dad,0.1327584020291681,2.277698325301209,2.4607419150285352,92.98156309448323,86.83132530120481,6.386303107165505,16.568167406467982,7.669130373188453,0.2424867469879519,606,13,140,12,19,206,105,166,0.18,0.6509999999999999,0.17,-0.187,1,2,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,1,3,10,17,3,2,5,0,12,3,1,1,2,32,27,10,0,4,7,2,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,15,6,0,1,7,0,0,0,7,9,0,2,2,3,19,8,16,21,2,12,0,2,1,1,8,5,2,6,7,89,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342933407632275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034664561437548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192771516916923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4113275005566465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772853522624322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318085846551783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059152691959263086,0.08357631283176466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158365991144813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550151593726812,0.12006352847480252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11619556730483073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5054688374928947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858718638427993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114308940165096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277063167459373,0.0,0.1055863161683012,0.0,0.07809045659672018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701503374161225,0.0933787750277412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854831104998682,0.0,0.1244835729957878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188649047297285,0.22408449798160804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22483669282892954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23425096793805844,0.0,0.0,0.10650156077160222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13095858560314333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978072792330595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496124247064206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800520970996974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,julietime,2019/04/18,"I think I have a problem but I’m afraid to tell my psych doctor For as long as I can remember I’ve envisioned killing everyone I know, and lately I’ve been actually thinking of doing it.... let me now say that I don’t think I actually will but the urge is super strong",1.7052631578947341,3.3695847894736843,4.382315789473683,83.94821052631579,78.29824561403508,8.068771929824562,25.43508771929825,8.841846274778883,1.909851929824561,211,8,46,5,5,75,44,57,0.133,0.703,0.16399999999999998,0.431,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,1,5,1,1,2,0,8,1,0,0,0,9,13,5,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,8,2,5,10,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,29,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.4640678420330214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24337259958918234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22720402633332995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630626046682292,0.0,0.1306748205418896,0.0,0.268220349224756,0.0,0.0,0.2431408591281719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21042322985016784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275183867511626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693525151326881,0.0,0.0,0.18908807729001006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078256695601836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4570695035588281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,caro_photo,2019/04/18,"Anger from a panic attack so bad I had an out of body experience I [21F] am diagnosed with major depressive disorder with anxiety and chronic PTSD. I'm not on meds but I go to therapy weekly.
Today I had an out of body experience while I was angry. I have been anxious from a serious conversation with my boyfriend yesterday and the anxiety carried in with me through today. I was upset that a friend hadn't responded after I told her I was having a hard time and I just completely blew up. She never responded to any of it and blocked me. When I was angry I felt like nothing was real and I was just watching it happen. I felt like wanting to strangle something but I was so paralyzed in my bed. I really felt out of control. 
I snapped out of it and profusely apologized in an email, but I probably ruined the friendship.

Has anyone ever felt this way? I used to lash out easily in high school, but I can't remember something being to this level. I think it may be linked to my PTSD but I also know I suck.

I",1.8930881659594547,4.235180227722772,4.401032531824612,80.64196369636966,80.88118811881188,8.006034889203207,26.45073078736445,8.841846274778883,2.4997899104196133,794,34,150,21,21,278,113,202,0.209,0.6940000000000001,0.097,-0.9571,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,7,12,3,2,9,0,19,4,2,2,2,39,32,16,0,1,8,0,5,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,7,15,0,2,8,0,0,1,4,9,0,0,16,6,31,3,30,13,1,25,0,2,1,0,9,13,1,1,12,117,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703355909907188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825136644007224,0.0,0.18564571878012934,0.13707684356876676,0.0,0.0848420048984223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803892905677334,0.0,0.0,0.10131174860095077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695572294690368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722006569714,0.0,0.13609032965948864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104507815462045,0.12315501367996255,0.0,0.0,0.13906329318874125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975672018909556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373827259249375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4660121331527939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374505555451804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895890044943605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729835515679273,0.0,0.10869457157641824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819973617298275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668391962771883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855875212821135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347786147345184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358296425780756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11642660876440596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14236341876828318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082235298751604,0.0,0.28367410083704275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810864511892693,0.07773191287847411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745174009918992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280003319891393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868230790894209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876001190562592,0.0,0.0,0.07774817396140399,0.0,0.0,0.07075287507339037,0.0,0.2300275346829755,0.11594318605740173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479664632939804,0.0,0.0,0.07156800433445952,0.09631206386023414,0.09732962773470497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,m8ywot,2019/04/18,"I (F19) have been having the worst few months of my life and don’t know what to do. First I feel I should mention that I have never been diagnosed with anything nor have I even seen any sort of therapist. I also have absolutely no way of being able to do so. 

So basically I’ve been mildly suicidal for about the past 3 years? I’ve come close to attempting several times (the last serious time was 2 years ago) I think about killing myself several times a day but have no actual drive to do so and I don’t self harm though I think about doing so often as well. I am regularly able to control myself and stop myself from crying or freaking out in public or even in private. I am currently enrolled in college and this semester in particular has been stressing me out more so than usual to the point that after every single class I sit in my car and cry, shake, and hyperventilate for anywhere from 20 minutes to about an hour. I have absolutely no drive to do any of my school work which is costing me greatly with my grades which of course only adds to my stress.
A month back I had some sort of breakdown or something? I had dropped everything and just left town and drove about 3-4 hours to a city over. Even today has been particularly awful and I spent over 2 hours straight crying. I have no idea what to do because all I want is to die. I have absolutely no interest in living anymore but I also don’t want to kill myself at all. I don’t know how to handle this.",4.44971186440678,5.294117047457629,5.5625,81.4535805084746,70.0508474576271,8.611864406779661,27.631355932203395,8.841846274778883,1.9688610169491527,1159,38,235,20,20,385,158,295,0.228,0.732,0.04,-0.9962,1,0,1,0,0,3,21.0,0,0,0,4,21,12,2,3,8,1,35,2,0,2,3,41,46,25,4,3,6,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,8,16,0,2,6,0,2,6,11,9,1,1,11,2,32,3,45,33,7,47,0,0,1,0,3,16,0,7,22,173,40,5,0.21123164754590645,0.0,0.103065808736662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362205528056744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689218722265691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436447637730538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474251736433113,0.0,0.0,0.08691282391374276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121204920566565,0.0,0.06438242588135762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909786803162492,0.0,0.0,0.11845712705714664,0.0,0.0,0.3480420692327126,0.06811346895445443,0.0,0.0,0.10719783793392254,0.10961255048819968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092747665464354,0.0,0.08898588670184074,0.0,0.09492069225950016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053402533900038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983676574740543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644181856629288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120309351863166,0.0,0.0,0.11922740943741066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336965214372651,0.0,0.11608738930640818,0.08609099273117712,0.0,0.0,0.11475190155704333,0.0,0.07459957976182045,0.0,0.0,0.0932607073631084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686030858036742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145743430270694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803255932106233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082225447084396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998410915165795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068888522179529,0.0,0.0,0.11018033815046872,0.2386316370288236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130822106271486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829955783772266,0.2419651385865957,0.0,0.0,0.11552656906575612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226281117393048,0.0,0.13534871058731446,0.10376701061609976,0.0,0.18475630854589528,0.0,0.10011145160262896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632090859471628,0.0,0.12458989854585012,0.08383292489902729,0.0,0.0,0.09496130952241126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768895775851001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602625551796035
mentalhealth,BreannaNicole13,2019/04/18,"Diagnosed panic disorder, but is there something else going on? I have always had anixety and health anxiety, but I truly feel as though I am losing my mind completely. 

1. Everything is so hard. I can go to work, do college work but cannot do anything that is not absolutely necessary. It’s takes every part of me to do dishes. Water on the floor? It’s staying there because I don’t care at all. Every single thing is exhausting.
2. Health anxiety is causing me to think I’m dying so many times a day, that I think my body is giving out. I’m so tired.
3. I am becoming so paranoid I jump and can’t catch my breath at the sound of a single foor creak.
4. My mood changes more than 10 times a day. One minute I am happy and excited, the next minute I feel as though life is pointless, the next minute i’m very angry inside (I am very calm so no one can tell my moom swings, to everyone else I look normal).
5. I am so insecure and jealous that it makes me want to hurt myself so I can prove how ugly I am (I have never actually hurt myself). I am so insecure I can no longer watch films or tv with my boyfriend. If I know he’s putting on something with any nudity in it I go in the other room and cry to myself about how ugly I am, and that’s why he wants to see these movies and shows (he is not emotionally abusive in any way). I truly feel like the ugliest person alive, and I feel sorry for anyone who has to look at me. I cry when I look in the mirror. I hate every feature I have.
6. I refuse to take medication for my panic disorder because my health anxiety tells me I will overdose from one pill.

I feel as though I am about to go off the deep end and will end up in a psychiatric ward and lose everything I love. No one around me can tell this is going on in my brain because i’m so anxious and shy. Something is wrong.",1.4057105557627736,3.172550600522193,3.5586542334949662,89.03922715404701,79.54830287206265,6.779231629988811,22.17001118985453,7.760100539840176,0.9260817456173068,1412,43,310,23,35,483,184,383,0.264,0.638,0.098,-0.9976,0,0,3,0,0,4,44.0,0,0,0,4,20,19,2,4,12,0,37,15,3,4,3,42,67,34,1,4,7,0,6,1,0,2,9,1,1,1,13,15,2,1,9,3,0,8,9,12,0,4,1,12,50,6,40,64,5,40,0,4,5,1,11,20,0,2,11,200,63,3,0.0,0.09132753373291977,0.07521923941709625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641369720820806,0.0,0.0,0.10483447430043916,0.0,0.17689862166276216,0.08707878227602618,0.0,0.05389632763687753,0.0,0.06343050707618672,0.06861779582181995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409622793237921,0.08512911914318311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561882038116682,0.0,0.086047090294594,0.0,0.0,0.07858848792102299,0.07918268567027299,0.08154072128947276,0.0,0.08081721254710293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693381478218236,0.09942081455751636,0.0,0.0,0.07823486697852454,0.07999716665840889,0.0,0.1766813695866099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287813751625966,0.08670494615803508,0.13654050814138702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19483039424850712,0.07365351573780853,0.13854958039375687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948705410719632,0.055066171167803366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394243322178784,0.2190325120529265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205339692661663,0.06904879545275354,0.07610082368128902,0.0,0.24579821628018125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503207909655832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04236130893735605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054444084990943394,0.0376575338864974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19418407927527626,0.17246624559210513,0.0,0.0,0.06956796683296222,0.0,0.0514516889274944,0.07814731099140063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765027810928805,0.0,0.0,0.0778291149603083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05944906781620374,0.0,0.16395151559215967,0.0,0.07552231382866371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20892638449411155,0.0,0.0,0.18087421367818413,0.0,0.08347043748228204,0.0,0.0,0.06730353193534135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07748697637114314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142300770804465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802050811014525,0.0,0.08628506865614326,0.0,0.08215732819408916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590956346225445,0.0,0.20211470021945754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051208716479328106,0.09877986881638867,0.227192966633725,0.0,0.08989226835862824,0.08859244890084306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271986156261804,0.09092789861686146,0.06118274262153345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955296834627775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223073133458547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842751916302389,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AntigravityCosmetics,2019/04/18,"I'm in a slump College student here. Recently, for about the past 6 months, I've fallen into a slump. Nothing really is 'fun' anymore, it just passes time. I sleep longer than I used to and I still wake up tired. I try my best to go to my classes but more and more I can't bring myself to go, even though I know I should. Everything feels tiring. I want to seek out help but I don't know where to turn, and I'm finding it very hard to open up to anyone about this issue. I couldn't even bring myself to post this on my main account, even though nobody I know irl has my handle. I'm posting hoping that someone here can point me in the right direction.",1.6400121654501234,3.2815127518248204,3.0741788321167896,93.35657238442823,78.4160583941606,5.734549878345499,20.175790754257907,6.42735559955562,0.037735279805352295,505,12,113,4,12,165,87,137,0.046,0.865,0.09,0.7622,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,12,3,0,0,4,0,7,4,2,1,0,19,22,7,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,5,0,1,6,3,0,0,0,0,2,18,3,20,20,4,24,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,1,5,73,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652503133219625,0.1103584632050342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563293392453288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3127358422824559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418475009371081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980363182266446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425383579594253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17939694581758334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413847526618996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579017718196854,0.0,0.0,0.15676088383274753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473360027201212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602178566883412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597846582362215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144222056983167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15066667230403635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920044286805628,0.0,0.30231518096262183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10110999212626494,0.0,0.15583816540752932,0.0,0.0,0.1347860278281691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15794406519580115,0.0,0.13372891646838495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604330752074674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101345088248648,0.0,0.09203199016554987,0.3628049234871389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071562655737474,0.17167380738240345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631451604426806,0.0,0.1302263471167214,0.09309227171680208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,RandoRando1234,2019/04/18,"Had an old friend tell me he was “pragmatically thinking about suicide” tonight. Wh/t are the right next steps? I hope this is the right sub for this. I’m more a lurker than a poster on reddit so pls go easy on me if i got this wrong. 

Anyways, I have an old friend I hadn’t seen for a while. I had a hunch he was depressed from a change in recent communications. I’m back in town in a city I used to live for work and we met for dinner. At one point he matter of factly confided in me that he has been considering suicide. 

His reasoning is because he thought would have reached a certain point in his life professionally and he isn’t doing that well. He also talked about how he thought his wife would find someone else and his nieces and nephews were too young to remember. 

I’ve known this guy for years and he has had some hard family times, confidence issues etc but he is an amazing human, loved by all who know him. 

I know his wife and some close friends well enough to message them but considering I never talk to these folks regularly that feels like a betrayal of his trust so I feel oddly weird about it. 


What are the right next steps here?",2.5429870129870125,4.570677064935069,3.360606060606063,90.56090909090912,77.05194805194805,6.477922077922077,22.688311688311693,7.447530270364453,0.7108233766233774,906,27,196,12,21,287,139,231,0.076,0.7509999999999999,0.173,0.967,0,0,0,0,0,2,17.0,1,0,1,1,13,14,0,0,14,0,21,3,0,3,4,34,37,14,2,4,3,3,3,1,3,2,1,0,0,2,11,8,1,0,11,0,0,3,3,3,2,1,13,4,21,11,25,22,6,30,0,1,1,1,34,15,0,4,13,120,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975814917247314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938279075770826,0.0,0.0743838920981563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908381397699745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509795398999072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193429008419083,0.0,0.0,0.12608204536801632,0.1360875415062626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150321213300914,0.0,0.12339666500633567,0.0871730257353993,0.0,0.0,0.11152651730904993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828232556167834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934830007299593,0.0,0.09759268279410953,0.0,0.0,0.12082163586271485,0.0,0.0,0.1093083520308484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119605227611308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12735997362390716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412094561390026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618822629946614,0.05961411699781813,0.0,0.10774826046907113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013023121961753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411141193919613,0.0,0.25954500530862273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560845488352252,0.0,0.08268572476561581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307017443554208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545963610708846,0.12048267386330574,0.0,0.13822790757725928,0.312620101558905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338941931727356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26694600988452843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961544133086084,0.10665319917282176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818720517384678,0.0,0.1937447529575199,0.07115240497801174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053884158379755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21942608419357407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883396306163388,0.0,0.0,0.1733628192787462,0.13341264324427846,0.0,0.07857860413344556
mentalhealth,Hnnnnnnnghhhhhhh,2019/04/18,What’s a good way to ask for therapy? I’m 20 and still living at home and have put off asking for therapy for years because I’m too anxious (ironic). Any tips?,1.4143137254901958,3.0327161176470585,3.753529411764706,88.33754901960786,79.0,6.886274509803924,23.098039215686285,7.793537801064563,1.0872862745098049,124,4,27,2,3,43,28,34,0.06,0.8420000000000001,0.098,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,13,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16990324815899568,0.0,0.0,0.2822538683606458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4671429184395505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523032652812987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095582316070529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250615025017901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22061781704249064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511633518139637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19952663440134255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5714393345289449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983154257612529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608920648435248
mentalhealth,rainx5000,2019/04/19,"Can someone explain how I'm feeling? I'm usually normal throughout the day, but at night I get sad sometimes. It's like I'm disappointing in myself. I have a lot of things in my mind that I want to achieve, but I feel this sad feeling. I don't know how to say it, It's like feeling sad but I'm not actually sad. I would consider myself a happy dude, with friends around, I'm happy. I can be happy by myself, when things are going well, I would scream in the car and sing, but at night I would usually get this eerie sad feeling and think of all the things I want in life. Can someone explain why I feel like this? Is this a normal occurrence?",2.8446268656716427,3.930932567164181,4.341970149253733,87.79967164179104,74.07462686567162,7.151044776119402,26.832835820895525,7.554174236665415,1.3142113432835818,500,18,109,6,10,167,67,134,0.198,0.5489999999999999,0.254,0.6402,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,5,15,0,0,6,0,11,1,0,2,1,31,31,9,0,7,5,0,6,3,1,3,1,2,0,0,11,4,0,0,10,1,0,2,2,7,1,0,0,8,15,8,13,27,2,15,0,6,0,0,4,7,0,1,9,69,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.12879030770405814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11748732247693842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08511411042093288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4003885783733699,0.09428424408096077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196493941939012,0.0,0.13790484970965722,0.0,0.0750054503158873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214752363983738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725309914732898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321910874115798,0.19343157738107936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11220194605563974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325893404067565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477025513255075,0.25861846282655554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049532393826861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22364700924543326,0.0,0.13052841847303698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26303854187882997,0.08456539708734206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907075740046112,0.0,0.15568665852645314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866298264461425,0.0,0.11908852395297895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812575718730029,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PM_NAUGHTY_NUDIES,2019/04/19,"I'm horribly confused about who I am. First of all, excuse my name, I'm using my porn/throwaway account. 

So I (18M) have enjoyed cross dressing for about a year, and have always felt that I was more on the feminine side of life. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a guy and all but I've never been entirely comfortable about it. I've always wanted to have been born a girl and experience womanhood. There's something about it to me that seems comforting and as it should have been. Even with all these feelings, I've also never felt comfortable about thinking about myself as a woman. To be honest with you, I don't know who I am. I just feel like an uncomfortable mess. I don't know who I am, or why I am the way I am. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Mostly just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for the time.",1.7715458579881656,3.76930081065089,3.4015643491124266,89.48802699704143,79.35502958579882,6.355177514792899,21.213387573964496,7.413659706084162,0.6714642011834315,643,18,136,9,16,213,97,169,0.108,0.76,0.132,0.4858,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,1,12,11,0,1,8,0,20,2,1,1,5,31,37,10,0,3,4,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,11,6,0,0,9,0,1,1,5,3,0,1,7,4,18,8,21,27,5,12,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,4,7,98,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193836247280454,0.3161809334058551,0.0,0.0,0.12920263017329875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328484228844415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626528068588098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548943452112904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18585086948908253,0.0,0.0,0.1921336401431147,0.13573195641852825,0.3648486207302857,0.0,0.0,0.16160904325291767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985283462062004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18812421474403215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20883178243846606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419858353177316,0.09282161152507838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930706134393103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296366297296406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462668842229728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492121270409758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121740667317844,0.0,0.1508342411135889,0.11078719649887264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16409406172222618,0.0,0.0,0.22412710581752476,0.1508086213179016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144029207311307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20772892676087995,0.0,0.12235009146113085
mentalhealth,throwawaytokeep1,2019/04/19,"Advice, family member in a dark spot Hello reddit, not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes, my little sister (16) has been going through some things for the past year and a half, at first she was battling anxiety (to the point where she was shaking uncontrollably) and had trouble sleeping, we started to take her out more (she kinda stopped seeing her friends because of social anxiety i'm guessing and shut herself off from the world) anyways she has been getting better mentally but now she has new issues.  When she is home she gets very angry at parents and throws things around the house and calls them names, then lays around all day, at night she is afraid to sleep alone without her mother.  She has no mental illness in her past and was a very smart student in school (she is now homeschooled due to anxiety) the solution for now is to get her out of the house for a few weeks and away from her surroundings so she can focus on herself, any suggestions will be appreciated, serious replies only please, thanks",9.401237766263671,7.9230908393782435,8.11944732297064,75.0450546919977,60.29533678756477,10.857570523891766,36.988485895221636,9.444778638647367,3.3049152561888304,824,30,149,11,9,251,128,193,0.138,0.746,0.116,-0.0354,1,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,1,2,10,11,1,3,11,0,18,3,2,0,2,24,28,13,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,3,12,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,6,0,2,6,1,22,5,28,20,4,41,0,0,1,0,30,21,0,4,16,109,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12420280051360197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163954898301194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08643385570263241,0.0,0.2916985093085872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262958135583853,0.0,0.0,0.11941670248227962,0.0,0.0,0.07748032246001843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124115685871472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978555885344675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197040521875873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982064399311472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811306786887624,0.0,0.0,0.09819884577279217,0.0,0.1992169633758958,0.0,0.07223511031957715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001740484427233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749387162414869,0.0,0.0,0.29331775147673633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326616764266407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273897970888146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561782491917361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275609846333195,0.0,0.11927680619263464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666695186696067,0.0,0.0,0.1411319534995274,0.0,0.2426668669472726,0.0,0.0,0.13279474849245892,0.13952004943441998,0.12015266370546505,0.0,0.12172877497214067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854458581034662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863421382241352,0.10128399880833036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25438798685775466,0.1295646883150631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996359258220041,0.0,0.0,0.1062631319135304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979232094609513,0.0,0.09556503764343906,0.0,0.0,0.11701863064177764,0.0,0.0,0.1688821102190701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097452553079064,0.0,0.0,0.10195371954828328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252198682360554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184965071044469
mentalhealth,lennoxlovexxx,2019/04/19,"What is wrong with me? I don't know what's wrong with me, but lately I've been having these episodes where my brain won't function properly, i can't really comprehend anything at all, and i keep having panic attack after panic attack. First time it happened i was with my girlfriend, she comforted me best i could, i don't really know what else to say about it. I can't figure out what is wrong with me.",5.1504878048780505,5.340853560975613,5.915756097560978,81.8597317073171,68.26829268292683,8.999024390243902,26.15609756097561,8.841846274778883,1.7601287804878043,320,8,64,5,5,105,50,82,0.271,0.628,0.101,-0.9428,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,2,9,2,2,0,0,12,1,1,0,1,13,16,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,7,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,2,1,14,2,9,12,2,7,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,48,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14283590068211394,0.0,0.0,0.394928997695612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18215429652858534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937650226970627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385840244906415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449980818404687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764121992669182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349015001062366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15427977755583233,0.0,0.0,0.190782511288235,0.0,0.1957980565479428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073013509077201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223907896984085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380323236353241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121189083307304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5693249253330699,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Allioopus,2019/04/19,"Dissociation? Ever since I was in elementary school, my go to coping mechanism was to completely emerge myself into something fictional. It wasn't always harmful, but I think it did something to me. There is this sort of ""cover""  that comes over me when things go bad. It's like I can't really see or think but I can see and think. It can last for a really long time (months), and it feels like my life isn't real. Last week someone I knew committed suicide. I wasn't incredibly close to them, but it still affects me. It go a lot worse this week. Sometimes it feels like I can't even identify with my own name? Like I'll say it out loud or in my head and my conscious feels like someone else? I'm almost a senior in high school, and this has been an on and off thing for most of my life. Is it dissociation? A milder form? Reading about DID seems more intense then what goes on in my head. 

Also for about 5 years I have been creating this fantasy world in my head. It feels more and more real the longer I keep it. It is the place I go when real life feels foggy. I'm starting to not be able to stay in real life. I'd rather be there all the time, and I really really need to let go of it. It seems impossible to get rid of these characters I have come up with. 

How can I get out of this? Or even just control it?",1.5932967032967051,3.4153363589743613,3.407994139194141,90.07867252747255,79.18315018315019,6.858842490842491,20.443809523809524,7.839951260653429,0.6480401172161177,1018,26,229,17,25,341,134,273,0.055,0.855,0.09,0.7506,0,0,2,0,0,1,33.0,0,0,1,1,14,7,0,0,8,0,23,7,3,3,3,53,50,18,1,2,9,0,5,5,0,0,4,2,0,0,26,15,0,2,12,2,0,7,6,2,0,0,9,9,26,5,34,38,8,42,0,0,2,0,3,18,0,9,21,152,52,4,0.08919455529366506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931546299978743,0.0,0.0,0.0713288536432387,0.07421701523117827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447372801114674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366642311964732,0.09351879422797868,0.0,0.10003927812882443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451060575250393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782432511516032,0.08068158174778094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22549723576499514,0.19116182437112747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320094754286257,0.0,0.25345660631361605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746180390833767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423894478865888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792802189872712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454109344060988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912074759037822,0.2520030088011808,0.21787977162735786,0.0,0.0,0.07893437464592505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583002128319252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07119424306970902,0.0,0.0,0.06613663257014626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318932618850563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921869260706175,0.4060917243897388,0.2285612643129647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093109037683266,0.0,0.18053930365446047,0.14215302502209576,0.1623987464522697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378265785002178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114851450610042,0.1373326526335359,0.08821569588430808,0.0,0.06313236531871277,0.09506952822983697,0.071230887074825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756436662913956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851379843911378,0.17145680854166745,0.0,0.0,0.10402012495069836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309298424788133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089687194828598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743836925075412
mentalhealth,transgabex,2019/04/19,"Teacher can’t accommodate mentally ill students? Good evening everyone, 
I am a student at a special education school, there are only about 30-40 students at this school (between middle and high school). I attend this school because I cannot function in a regular high school. I have PTSD, bipolar, anger, depression, OCD and anxiety. 
I have 5 teachers and 4 assistant teachers in total. Every teacher is supportive and helps me cope, except fr one of them. I have considered reporting this teacher numerous times. As this is a special needs school, the teachers are required to follow a certain protocol that is completely different then normal schools. This teacher is not capable of handling students with behavioral and mental disabilities. Many times I have gotten upset and she would constantly say I do everything for attention and say things to make me even more upset. I’m not the only student who she does this too. today I was frustrated, however I was clam and was helping a peer with a science problem, this teacher stood up and walked in my face and started saying she would call SRO officers if I didn’t sit down. She constantly kept interrupting me as I was explaining what I was doing, and I started to panic and walked out. I was sent to a behavior recovery room. My point is, that this teacher does not handle situations clearly when a student who has mental disabilities is having a moment. She blames everything on us, and when we tell others what she does, she tries to cover it up and blame it on us. My buddy dropped out of school because she was harassing him so bad. 
There’s no proof, since they will put the blame on me for getting upset and yelling after she got in my face. 

What do I do?? Please help",6.621719993991287,7.835983066246063,6.936259576385763,72.21932702418509,65.34069400630915,10.202133092984829,36.86179960943368,10.290406445055957,4.155106774823493,1380,69,226,33,21,447,173,317,0.162,0.7709999999999999,0.068,-0.9836,2,0,0,0,1,0,38.0,3,0,2,1,9,15,3,4,13,0,32,4,2,1,4,39,46,22,0,6,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,1,0,19,20,0,2,2,0,0,6,7,10,0,1,13,4,39,5,32,30,2,39,0,1,0,0,27,19,0,1,12,167,58,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06354934435919593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936109533556592,0.10127903028529403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848251215816437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709871488027478,0.1795412043059965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154921962828116,0.0,0.0,0.08679186487147042,0.0,0.0,0.21808885677917847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10973566740123653,0.0,0.06999118308191207,0.07937822111147758,0.14931831993666211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0434013442090478,0.0,0.0,0.06967629501003693,0.06643973579175416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670428955560216,0.1755388539924028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055450761573749306,0.0842212957386163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511491031001312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0615963427557247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139227117524747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629128690689915,0.12635898812595933,0.0,0.09746631360966676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911873806369738,0.07852926317236217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948804914207244,0.09710594587548366,0.08350963673674389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981849809296546,0.0,0.6725810127683925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871746724537313,0.0933756617690382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11759663780966095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426836720115167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260800883337648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055188904138685414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687912766288513,0.0,0.07874191287426525,0.0,0.0,0.05639998392799655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984917685057904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180229867570434,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,newsoberliving,2019/04/19,"How to talk to your friends/family about the severity of your illness Hi everyone,

I have been diagnosed for 2 years now, but people in my life really do not seem to understand the difficulty of having bipolar II and what it means to have to deal with it everyday. My father said upon hearing that I was diagnosed ask me if ""they gave me meds for that"", as though that would solve the problem. My mother basically said nothing. My grandmother now seems to think I am a loaded gun headed for a psychiatric hospital and the rest of my family treats me like I am a child. I have my brothers and they are kind. My partner is supportive, but my friends aren't. I don't know what to do anymore to help other people understand that I am fighting a disorder that has taken more years from me already than they would care to think about.

My bipolar manifests as extreme depression for months with about 4 days of hypomanic episodes afterward. I am on a pretty good medication load, but my baseline of depression has never lifted. I have problems with compulsive behaviors like drinking, smoking, sex, drugs and food. I am not sure how else to talk to people about the severity of my illness and why it causes me to act in this way. I don't want to be the fucked up guy all of the time and I want people to see me as a human.",6.865630580357141,6.491004480468752,7.4898660714285725,73.93281250000003,64.7421875,11.376785714285715,35.082589285714285,10.914260884657429,3.822566741071429,1041,43,196,26,14,346,137,256,0.149,0.716,0.135,-0.4805,0,0,2,1,2,0,23.0,0,2,3,0,9,15,2,0,13,0,24,14,1,3,3,35,44,16,0,7,6,3,0,2,2,2,9,3,0,4,12,9,2,0,8,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,6,4,34,9,42,35,3,17,0,2,1,2,24,5,1,3,12,146,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160667993466175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928720634977368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302063278067386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235461801466988,0.1132041172595116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106885459828857,0.11360971653527235,0.1898274491281119,0.22369812239253511,0.0,0.0,0.12629691902305953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107952483716209,0.12779516386993306,0.0,0.09205662684551298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529929821878206,0.0,0.0,0.2077704972445644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332523484835917,0.0,0.08513901417617041,0.10187664950819084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242919360384674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911374610341636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309535554762445,0.0,0.12420161116623847,0.0,0.07386366784318146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147546807937984,0.060562161331327274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783639225204271,0.10767474848081607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003836857774824,0.12240558526154435,0.11101329935841796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795931534346317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499180328460032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573834145643614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055907944127313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211139470567777,0.0,0.2108899815148424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059591989523649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20964783625829414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781386117626737,0.2006409779031125,0.0,0.24898566135125536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505184383725665,0.10386069236316596,0.0,0.0,0.17714660704594076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122137633641446,0.10826937319116503,0.0,0.06425757602090278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294408514685868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299957485661357,0.087470364402995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943692005100914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656357002190754,0.0,0.0,0.14192831936690492
mentalhealth,lefthandruler,2019/04/19,"I can't handle my emotions My life is pretty good objectively, but I still feel overwhelmed all the time. I panic and break down into tears over school assignments, then procrastinate on them until there's barely any time left. I overthink things and wind up crying in public while everyone tries to politely ignore me. I act like a total lazy asshole, then berate myself for hours over it. I have nothing to be worried about and my life is way easier than most people's, but it's like my mind has to find some excuse to freak out.",6.695,6.9581469313725535,6.7733333333333325,76.78000000000003,64.98039215686275,9.15294117647059,27.784313725490197,8.841846274778883,2.067890196078431,425,11,76,6,6,136,79,102,0.181,0.655,0.16399999999999998,-0.7156,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,2,2,0,6,2,0,0,2,15,7,9,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,13,3,16,6,4,20,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,2,10,54,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478305815193118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23878935849062105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445310609258094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20772254804765888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991737441289604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198687735351612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233386104330954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408235793630287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361915588433968,0.0,0.30709366544567224,0.21240856770341165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21949885093605215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20858864289891907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550567489208291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15070874058303632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211606816700165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22000720062830356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360550025823562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444222310745145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25352015916944176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759147039736895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255164355128136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22076700143676176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,josephis17,2019/04/19,Whats wrong with me? Emotionally broken? Im the biggest loaner i don't have much/any friends. I hate my self and my life and i constantly think about suicide. Im hella insecure. Constantly deppressed andvery unsocial in person.,2.2042857142857137,5.027329904761906,3.6071428571428577,79.88785714285714,95.1904761904762,6.2095238095238106,29.809523809523807,7.447530270364453,2.8012952380952387,184,10,29,4,7,60,34,42,0.422,0.578,0.0,-0.9657,0,0,0,0,0,1,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,6,1,3,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,15,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883562114380007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5048124226190399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627348316696533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804556158825926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306020358213732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5045913987545944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497741062466714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170083754249355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20394432979145952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436644676531752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554876888539073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966223586899272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553721473575549,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ContainsMilkPhD,2019/04/19,"No one left to talk to. Called a hotline, made me feel worse. 
Can't get these thoughts off my mind.
I really don't want to live anymore, whatever shred of hope is left is now turning to Reddit. 
I'm so tired of being depressed, and dragging everyone down with me. 
I'm losing my home to greedy people, and with no money to even get an apartment in the slums, it looks like I'll be homeless soon. I have no family to take me in, no friends, and no peers. Even if I could move, I have no car, so I'd lose my job.  

I have nothing left.",1.1009734513274338,2.6546548938053114,2.809920353982303,95.04337610619469,79.70796460176993,5.935929203539826,21.919469026548683,6.742157984588678,0.2986077876106199,405,12,96,4,10,134,75,113,0.259,0.6729999999999999,0.067,-0.9649,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,1,0,13,22,6,0,4,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,1,2,8,3,0,1,2,2,11,3,15,17,0,12,0,3,1,0,3,8,0,2,3,58,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15626828126896192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089780397834652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580777468245138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571583629826578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20814857171720247,0.0,0.0,0.15056602598855812,0.0,0.0,0.14854409581525965,0.0,0.07967272887798904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173911163638675,0.0,0.16464888803543526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15805675258667629,0.15650374689756105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636509387317535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5136046816487202,0.0,0.0,0.07698132491058841,0.0,0.13913824888195284,0.0,0.13232011549321954,0.3525637161491265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909767125509965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15910198485969684,0.0,0.0,0.16747323969745398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119380790780107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677431729605802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924002408309594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094414007914447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184739259881764,0.12664975499099065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509392513261922,0.0,0.1811049049047232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713922085829912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929395712416992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057850576360105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Same-Rules-Apply,2019/04/19,"Anybody got an idea, or similar to relate? I was lay back against my bed feeling relaxed listening to some music, then out of the blue I felt an intense feeling of anger and sadness come over me and now I'm feeling wound up, withdrawn and confused. 

This seems to happen a lot, I can be in a very happy, chirpy mood then my mood will just change and I will feel extremely wound up then it will change again, I'll feel sadness and have suicidal thoughts.

Just don't understand what it is that could be the cause or reason for/behind this. I have seen a psychiatrist and was given no answers as to my mood changes, their main focus was paranoia and angry thoughts. 

Anyone have similar issues and understand why, or anyone who can offer some advice? 

It is greatly appreciated",6.409727891156464,6.947107523809527,6.433061224489798,78.0321768707483,65.59863945578232,8.982312925170069,34.0204081632653,8.841846274778883,2.8654571428571427,614,26,111,9,9,195,93,147,0.15,0.747,0.103,-0.8616,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,5,10,1,1,7,0,17,2,0,2,0,35,35,15,1,1,5,0,6,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,8,10,0,0,14,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,9,9,10,3,13,20,4,12,0,2,2,0,4,5,0,8,6,79,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148451195546506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21678826740925206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11920141086589385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924904337567955,0.4919742902728954,0.13353667538852668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377147857836272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3919158208024976,0.0,0.14884425918923933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398427908763142,0.17091095708891707,0.0,0.0,0.13708436368372665,0.16502250278174446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749995912901241,0.0,0.16180141853148206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317931234582639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593871803908725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112509582926355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695675722978007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461383664708439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227641979126322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790837849027806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398821419016598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,owo-what-is-this-,2019/04/19,"I feel like I'm drowning and don't know what to do My week had been absolute shit and I can't handle the combination of event that has been happening.
I got back together with my toxic ex even to I love someone else. She is manipulating me to do things I don't want to do and I'm scared to see her when she flys down to see me.
I am so sick that I can't eat
Ive been lying to my best friend about everything
My mental health has been slipping out of my hands and I have no way of improving it
Ive been living in a constant state of anxiety and I no longer no why

Someone fucking take me life",1.2792019430950743,2.630879099236644,3.5568355308813326,90.77322692574604,78.61832061068702,7.206384455239418,22.596113809854263,8.00094639256281,0.88826106870229,466,14,112,8,11,161,79,131,0.185,0.695,0.12,-0.7402,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,5,7,2,1,2,0,20,8,2,1,0,11,32,7,1,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,5,7,1,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,7,4,22,4,16,25,1,10,0,0,2,2,6,3,2,0,6,76,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071667406489836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149311611204974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20675610048050733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129042670972143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015965174134031,0.1645815583262081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301271868638325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17706524579238686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961719163505277,0.14074824485158968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522140459370333,0.1821380850859215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757166506210787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742205673056111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20941875804695306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827482202058217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915820262271086,0.09625204889972018,0.0,0.1739687067059703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778146005429567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985457541973659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972473508040232,0.0,0.3139924329246881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20223405700623576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338619758203954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14813148683528707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308886529191316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620512073889536,0.15638210277859954,0.15803432340417153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17777626465303553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Smashyland,2019/04/19,"Quetiapine I take 50-75 mil at night for its mood stabilise and anti anxiety purposes, this is immediate release, I hear that extended release tablets begin at 100mg and higher is it worth me asking my doc to go on this ?",8.598139534883723,6.8894103255814025,9.808953488372094,63.03110465116281,62.023255813953476,13.251162790697675,42.43023255813954,12.161744961471696,5.327009302325582,176,9,31,5,2,62,37,43,0.095,0.8590000000000001,0.045,-0.2732,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,5,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,18,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606853216746618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4407755467739901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679562271015113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.531398726588672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44245745353882987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544986200818435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,OldSoulNZ,2019/04/19,"Relationships extra hard to deal with So I have a bad family history of deep depression, I haven't really been affected by this much, apart from when a relationship of mine fails, because I lose all contact with that person and then its like nothing ever happened for them, but then im stuck remembering this person and how much i still love them, it brings me great depression and sadness. I have broken up with my 19 year old girl friend just over a month ago now, I still constantly think about her, dream about her and everything in between, i wake up sad and i go to bed sad, I'm over it and i know as a 20 year old male that i should be stronger than this. any advice or help is greatly appreciated",7.406341212744088,6.313195266187048,7.519753340184994,76.51741007194245,63.964028776978424,11.396094552929089,32.806783144912636,10.608840637214634,3.113315724563206,558,18,114,12,7,181,97,139,0.199,0.605,0.197,0.387,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,10,13,0,0,4,0,7,2,1,2,2,20,15,14,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,1,4,8,9,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,8,0,0,2,1,17,5,20,11,4,23,0,7,0,1,15,7,0,1,15,78,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620445176336624,0.13262685221233825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174500441649338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492433082097075,0.09120541582695836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168332329677734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15424903311841895,0.2577306006943197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13533755968158878,0.0,0.0,0.13446652700014586,0.0,0.14104602708236288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559407960719957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503105130212797,0.0,0.0,0.32990755898376656,0.0,0.0,0.13230622707885425,0.0,0.13402785763317412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028543063791108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161253289755134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222584400180802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730955342155014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738366874599056,0.0,0.0,0.13503560045298105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942323032973128,0.0,0.21997209880598032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356198950762053,0.0,0.3139967149413879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612803927220427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584877700636436,0.0,0.0,0.32126632174284714,0.16948741769035214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389693960338546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586882803629417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19269747960043868
mentalhealth,ashleycb55,2019/04/19,I am an emotionally draining person to be around my mental health is always in such a shitty place that I end up dumping all my problems onto other people. Then they end up leaving me bc they don’t wanna deal with the baggage. what even is the point in having friends anymore.,4.596111111111114,6.071380277777778,5.408333333333335,80.33250000000002,70.2962962962963,6.140740740740743,28.314814814814817,5.985473137389443,1.3609037037037035,221,8,38,1,4,72,46,54,0.149,0.797,0.054000000000000006,-0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,2,0,3,3,1,0,4,0,6,1,0,0,1,5,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,1,9,5,1,11,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,3,33,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20560502014298326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24505444875271104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21996927566298569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254746803293692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779515718095429,0.4377103099101018,0.0,0.0,0.16320565212152996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19090701357592066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626532225683069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616407087859807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490162899137289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130638198638054,0.21575611679251686,0.2581644280414233,0.0,0.2335871264136349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236439057661465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,its-just-elle,2019/04/19,"I can’t actually talk about how i felt It feels so stupid saying this here but I feel like I can only say this in here because I can’t physically say it to a person face to face. I was depressed (diagnosed, which was one hell of a process) like so far into depression (I know other people have gone through longer but at that point it had been 3 months. And it was the third time I’d been stuck in that dark place) my only light was death. I sat in my room with about 25 pills, some in my mouth, some in my hand. But then all I could think about was my mum. I saw her when my nana died, I could picture her reaction. And for that few seconds, it became very real what I was about to do. I didn’t swallow them. I spat them back out and covered them in tissue before disposing of them. I still feel disgusting about it. I think my mum realised I was suicidal, but not how close I was... even though I’m feeling more normal now (it’s been five months) I can’t even hear someone mention suicide without breaking down crying. It haunts me daily, I never have a day where it escapes my mind. But I can’t tell anyone, I just can’t bring myself to do it, not even my therapist knows (which is the worst part like I physically can’t say it) I just feel like I can’t live normally, even though I mostly feel normal right now and I have amazing friends which I’ve never had before. It’s always at the back of my mind and i hate that I can’t even have a normal conversation with people because it seems to be mentioned a lot and I can’t cope. Does anyone have any advice, if it’s even possible to advise someone on that",2.629113662456948,3.8952677104477615,3.87679104477612,90.21681687715271,74.88059701492537,6.7060849598163035,23.033869115958677,7.1686216300943375,0.6427106773823192,1253,34,277,13,26,410,165,335,0.174,0.732,0.094,-0.9887,0,0,0,0,0,1,36.0,0,0,4,0,28,13,4,0,8,0,35,8,5,2,3,52,55,20,4,7,11,2,8,4,1,0,2,5,1,1,26,11,1,0,12,0,0,2,15,7,0,4,19,15,48,6,31,33,9,35,1,2,1,0,21,19,1,6,17,201,74,1,0.0,0.0,0.08736948859540741,0.0,0.0,0.08748880480613601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449709003034248,0.0,0.0,0.060884253003467385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520452531282172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376878577649993,0.0,0.10915471760684924,0.0,0.15236883086442185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429666781128453,0.0,0.09834576558828872,0.057740185828406274,0.0,0.15422609875934976,0.09087223390203332,0.09291919985085878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834931379797655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35480688607028554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716178410902365,0.1279221446832299,0.08596394555866989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917154536352664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839347616711335,0.0,0.0,0.10090811438374818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984079585693778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17496159242895534,0.0,0.07905764683979351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611618312782277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18080188059890934,0.0,0.14292582150024566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381038865275972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508860758436493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060668625170879995,0.13618494990644714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695351205591114,0.0,0.12413925450591345,0.07817514789333195,0.09354099732126668,0.0,0.08463587695603945,0.1009329207308297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019060509850926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645911397693725,0.0,0.2847950599626597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150579754241499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171890782779895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149969303973246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958650959455718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719617479943922,0.07825417243705217,0.0,0.0,0.1039525672132278,0.0,0.11473589322212364,0.17592780305575606,0.0,0.05220633428386811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387257624129401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630483487766827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,onyxall,2019/04/19,"Wish I knew what was wrong with me I have felt like this for most of my late teens. I am 18 now. Every single day without fail I’ll have intense periods of euphoria, which slowly turns itself into a feeling of panic and anxiety, then a deep sense of sadness and despair will set in. Every waking moment is consumed by this cycle. I’ll make plans to do something productive, then fold back on said plans when the next stage of my mood cycle kicks in. I have never been to see an NHS doctor, but I currently go to counselling in the form of CBT. Since I’ve never seen an actual doctor, I haven’t been diagnosed with anything. I wonder if it would be helpful to possibly try and pursue some sort of actual diagnosis in terms of better understanding the symptoms I have.",5.9945333333333375,6.256955253333337,6.879333333333332,75.42633333333336,66.46666666666667,9.6,30.0,9.444778638647367,2.662000000000001,608,20,110,11,9,203,105,150,0.061,0.818,0.121,0.8391,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,4,3,8,0,1,7,0,14,5,1,1,2,22,26,8,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,7,5,11,2,23,16,5,24,0,3,2,0,2,7,0,5,15,77,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.32199998171029537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621184283303494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576727361699875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268620441610037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591440245030712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640063871034944,0.0,0.0,0.16745466938653064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33773498406264285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27801124584078185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342055988243044,0.0,0.15840992858399058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376386337000407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105848895472823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610845165727927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060255139957574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012769486905673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544907246850049,0.0,0.17546170843776066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935724621372664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859939845808039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693698602722686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147040246518635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364759662481433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701227505032808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148091466528015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201289295876007,0.1794545536575614,0.0,0.1717535288875469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897227579184803,0.1590381018527562,0.17891745024086605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719946763785775,0.18038343895698047,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,screwseven,2019/04/19,"Does anybody know of any affordable co-ed halfway houses for the mentally ill? I have mental problems, I'd also like to get the fuck out of Fresno, CA (USA). I kinda have a specific kind of place in mind. Somewhere that's co-ed, somewhere that focuses on mental illness, not drug addiction, somewhere where you have the most freedom, somewhere nice (like, not run-down, filthy, etc.) and somewhere not in Fresno. Does anybody know of a place like that?",6.901686746987952,7.423906879518075,6.664722891566267,76.84624096385545,64.5421686746988,9.049638554216868,35.877108433734946,8.841846274778883,3.2025681927710847,353,16,60,5,5,111,54,83,0.129,0.728,0.14300000000000002,0.2997,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,2,7,1,0,5,0,3,5,0,0,0,11,7,2,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,10,7,2,7,0,0,0,1,1,7,1,2,3,32,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980981757718936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453188896515113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235736811379632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180432589063049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107338407374921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20266230898458296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679942885333196,0.09493954773995844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20967683321795072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923012337849215,0.19973364365655646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663330044425613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5493834971740791,0.0,0.1834822046761526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797108383886053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387847251760305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,BrettBH99,2019/04/19,"How long does CBT take? Should I quit? I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, social anxiety, depression, and AvPD. Although not diagnosed (yet), I am pretty confident that I have OCPD as well. I have struggled with all of the above for as long as I can remember. 

I have been going to therapy every week for about eight months now, but I haven’t seen any improvement in myself since starting. Is this normal? I really want to get better, and I try everything my therapist recommends. Medication has helped a bit with the depression and suicidal thoughts, but I feel like nothing has helped with the underlying problems; just the symptoms.

How long does it take before I should expect to start to get better? I don’t want to quit if I just need a bit more time, but therapy is too expensive to do if it isn’t helping. I also would feel bad about quitting because I don’t want my therapist to feel bad or worry about me, and it would just be embarrassing to have gone to therapy and got nothing out of it.",6.2570034542314374,6.8843394974093295,6.945712435233163,73.91145293609675,65.94300518134715,11.407426597582038,33.699913644214156,11.20814326018867,4.014599654576857,805,34,147,24,12,266,106,193,0.187,0.669,0.14300000000000002,-0.9279,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,5,13,11,0,2,6,0,23,4,0,2,1,40,41,18,1,13,10,0,3,1,0,4,4,0,0,0,6,10,0,0,5,0,1,2,5,7,1,1,6,4,20,4,26,30,4,15,0,2,1,0,4,3,0,3,11,107,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970827771637079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06778090114918921,0.0,0.15249879162191174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16644519830857088,0.06075959512598567,0.0,0.08481418555345288,0.0,0.0,0.17630492950920554,0.21763369843138294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17169602054635116,0.20233152578775795,0.0,0.0,0.11423362903059077,0.0,0.17444862445286188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397860711079913,0.0,0.08957945824212081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119264119283046,0.07120624640884142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041498163889191,0.0,0.05664633183687672,0.0,0.07971741900792279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20042566904651554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04869508048598533,0.0,0.0,0.2646217933256459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040982911116016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07955785363929074,0.0,0.0,0.07390609559623132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976581515257764,0.19127742094863107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014030395355268,0.0,0.09537337925969566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180427778132909,0.0,0.0,0.06385292837518332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290981773881408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245034487693569,0.0,0.0,0.10160383636387214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410977984557119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419961990492467,0.0,0.10902583223043892,0.0,0.0,0.10359817147773502,0.1498830363905937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34195349529355784,0.23145553521311885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912904538491343,0.05811999341200536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767126776241962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763687455576004,0.0,0.07995148348199725,0.0,0.08961778995168004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122253560528187,0.0,0.14160935132805627,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,newtoreddit1197,2019/04/19,"I suspect I have ADHD how do I know that I actually have it? I'm a teenager and for as long as I remember I've always been messy and generally irresponsible.  My school bags have looked similar since elementary school up to my sophomore year in high school.  My school bags are always overflowing with papers, I'm constantly losing homework, pencils and stuff.  I turn everything into a toy by constantly clicking my pen or removing the eraser from a pencil and re inserting it many times.  The main thing that is concerning me is how often my mind drifts away from the subject.  I can be listening to the teacher one second and then be in a daze the next.  I've tried to look up the symptoms and I got results for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and many other things.  What do reddit?",5.9455102040816366,7.1858223605442175,6.679054421768707,73.35939795918368,66.89115646258503,9.961632653061224,33.067346938775515,10.125756701596842,3.5371257142857147,625,27,108,15,10,206,94,147,0.107,0.893,0.0,-0.9179,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,10,0,12,2,0,3,0,19,20,13,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,9,9,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,2,0,2,2,4,14,0,17,16,1,17,0,1,3,0,1,8,0,2,7,77,23,9,0.0,0.0,0.13613222407155054,0.0,0.16765231861812832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23215094229639666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106517632478518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30150065237443363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598794934661765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253739247388306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115711781160747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738978498096844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666574728637354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345342504376387,0.23429032958307566,0.15606521530705122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828629306255002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085559225501887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836021096744426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452905137308176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802670912788516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5647272304654885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539613585685858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969453219865198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499428338608486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18535567549479773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813437792865756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471158452973903,0.15173632855141336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983365542251844
mentalhealth,Dontgiveashit837,2019/04/19,"Did I get schizophrenia from abuse and neglect as a teen? I'm 26M. I'm very socially isolated, and I can relate to all the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. I just don't want to do anything, and I don't care. When I'm talking to people, I just act extremely absent-minded and forgetful. I say as little as possible. I lie to tell people what they want to hear so my conversations can be as short as possible. I don't show much emotion.

I feel like I have no sense of self. Instead I have a rich inner world with several characters I develop and create stories for. When I'm thinking about something abstract, I imagine one of the characters are explaining it. While I'm flat and serious, I like to play as one of my characters online who always can make my friends laugh. All my deep emotions belong to those characters and not to me. I don't even know who I am anymore. I wouldn't invite myself to any party.

I have never had actual hallucinations or delusions as far as I'm aware, but I do sometimes have intrusive thoughts of insane things like opening a door to find a closet full of bees and a hanging skeleton. The visuals my mind can come up with are so random.

I'm an atheist, and I don't believe in any magic. I've looked at disorders like schizotypal personality, but I don't think I fit the full criteria. I'm not a narcissist. I'm happy for people when they are successful despite not caring about it myself.

I was emotionally and sexually abused for 6 years from age 12 to 18, which I think is the cause for the way I am. I'm not out to blame my step mom for everything, but I'm also not going to deny why I became this way in the first place.",4.029890219560876,5.170063640718563,5.700374251497006,78.98084081836329,71.27544910179641,9.039720558882237,29.784930139720558,9.408791572840183,2.6935133732534915,1312,53,255,29,24,449,177,334,0.103,0.7879999999999999,0.109,0.5823,0,0,1,0,2,0,34.0,0,0,2,2,12,14,0,0,14,0,27,1,0,2,3,47,55,29,0,3,11,1,1,4,1,1,1,2,2,2,9,15,0,1,9,2,1,5,15,2,0,3,4,4,37,12,43,49,5,31,0,1,1,0,15,16,0,2,12,171,46,1,0.0,0.2598735604764796,0.1070186107336407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770020004598511,0.0912512503726076,0.0,0.0,0.14915385855489768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875962485013337,0.0,0.0,0.09024612317312264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355650612124325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22362445731015496,0.11265762696166205,0.0,0.094467914172216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568722352288467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700799005736439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243363908920916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856111100279666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0554506393312304,0.07834571557047358,0.0,0.0,0.10023312521217376,0.09328220465096818,0.0,0.0,0.08472800752427373,0.0,0.05729618048305199,0.0,0.06232595630334412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167419481121029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360203071702185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060269798876801915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21430990216962892,0.10991456774583924,0.0,0.0,0.09209217637966843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732031899230876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22146365270978546,0.12843999093388267,0.0,0.0,0.08061744038317754,0.0,0.08458150728992997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862561485220485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280866713593945,0.09575649183645392,0.11457807228698115,0.0,0.0,0.2472648318664846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721114244512655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440599810508803,0.12389184437086201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179110915253178,0.0,0.08442657139176207,0.10846289798718717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398540557262095,0.0,0.08814571791746788,0.09585328875055696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285749945811065,0.21080945003769525,0.0,0.08706289118927296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048628540414512,0.1293681970505824,0.17409620642194953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989568905841361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062158181878744
mentalhealth,laurinatis,2019/04/19,"Things that happened recently feel like they happened years ago. I know this isn’t that big of a deal, but I would just like to know if anyone out there feels the same.
I’ve been in vacation for less than a week, and I already feel like my last school week never happened.

I feel like I never met the people I hang out with, as if me going to school was something I did years ago. I just don’t feel like that’s where I am right now.
Same thing happened when I graduated, I can’t remember anything from elementary or middle school: sure, I remember some things here and there, but I don’t remember how it felt. I don’t remember most of it.

TLDR; i feel like recent things happened very long ago, and/or I’m just imagining them.",4.215306122448978,5.025877095238098,4.832795918367349,86.59613265306123,70.56462585034014,8.328979591836735,26.264625850340128,8.548686976883017,1.5535882993197276,571,17,122,9,10,183,84,147,0.0,0.846,0.154,0.9636,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,0,10,7,0,0,4,0,10,0,0,1,3,36,27,10,0,3,8,0,7,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,14,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,5,7,19,7,12,21,5,24,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,5,21,79,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24720546424790402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025816676900931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649985236980582,0.0,0.07649666495181323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583580601204413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820147057274325,0.3320467264232289,0.0892544345120662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283027823801528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110130759387057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217477381377373,0.07577332699328514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27248803946974115,0.0,0.0,0.08226506769225872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339016451410505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444550031799523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835699844511996,0.0,0.4212140058157759,0.07938578129417752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28223593528553104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156375163503319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761198838571771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470291478153547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670023723918297,0.0,0.0,0.1491308962444155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06603482687378333,0.0,0.0,0.11972404559463184
mentalhealth,EmansTheBeau,2019/04/19,"Unchecked depression and anxiety ruined my semester and probably my future This is just me wanting to vent some shit, also I'm not a native english speaker, so this rambling has a high chance of being incomprehensible. 

I've been dealing with depression for well over a decade now and with anxiety for 5 or 6 years. I have an horrible bias against therapist, so I can't push myself to trust one and I've been dismissed by all of the doctors I've seen. 

This semester had been rough pretty rough for it's entire duration, but I was kinda coping. Then I went to my calculus exam, broke into a panic attack at the start of it and everything went down hill from there. Couldn't be in class without massive anxiety rush, couldn't open a book without getting a massive anxiety rush I was just done. My already abysmal self-esteem is at it's lowest right now. 

Then my roomate and best friend tried to off himself the next day after my birthday when I was sleeping. I had to deal with the aftermath of that, took it really hard and had to basically take a week long break from school 3 weeks before finals. 

Now I'm so behind everything that I just can't fucking find any energy our courage to start studying. Just thinking about how much I have on my plates make my head feel like it's gonna burst open. I've hyperventilate just having the thought of studying.

I probably ruined all my chances to enter the program I wanted after ruining my average grades. Went from having A everywhere to fucking D. I'm crushed and it basically just confirming that I did not have an impostor syndrome, I was an impostor. A fraud. 

Fuck everything. No I'm not suicidal, I'll never find to courage to kill myself but god damn it's hard to find the energy to go through all that bullshit.",5.486034680606906,6.550639319648094,6.2830830039525685,76.42288537549409,67.82697947214076,9.684100471758256,33.301160270304734,9.867487886160001,3.3610771643503767,1412,63,256,32,23,465,186,341,0.204,0.677,0.118,-0.9846,1,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,1,0,0,1,19,21,7,1,19,0,26,7,3,2,4,46,50,19,2,4,14,0,5,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,14,14,0,0,6,1,0,9,11,14,1,1,18,7,28,7,44,27,6,42,0,6,1,3,5,12,5,3,21,173,42,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157202128985813,0.08085373317643653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875495309879705,0.0,0.3093805803056423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502167746441197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603301595246017,0.0,0.10610359262712904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520444240847975,0.20846989193058607,0.17416339469921135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348538121839014,0.0,0.10346564741424576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272600305349865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051121789854518894,0.07222952261147153,0.0,0.11075572415965003,0.2772247619878648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811356997300659,0.2804101809367985,0.05282325566391584,0.0,0.057460373388823587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114066864215156,0.0,0.10376302867345218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682311726025363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118578425605328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04939485781676005,0.0,0.0,0.08947485540692503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06748845706853425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432390132167227,0.0,0.07797850653128463,0.0,0.10752644910213864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851145037379036,0.0,0.0,0.11862508169388752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286026165386863,0.2180168535540688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477053301480179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634322564753341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232378581708132,0.0,0.0,0.10547469720391084,0.0,0.10378295948730297,0.0,0.0,0.10117814346658632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312545791938086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059259842329214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760184724798678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739084460538568,0.0,0.06478408264930535,0.0,0.08026617693113075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233151574082856,0.06864374421491377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926884636933392,0.0,0.16220086790775054,0.0,0.0909056510090278,0.2811763957316156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194923468105146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510838663857214
mentalhealth,insanElf83,2019/04/19,It's hard with ptsd when someone cheats I gone through the rigger I became homeless and and she never cared. To whom it concerns I been going through hell. I been trying my hardest to maintain. I now am better with my mental health but I understand that she never cared for me. She probably was doing it to many men. But who do I know never hacked her once. But she did me and them controlled me from whatever she could use on my phone and computer. I been haunted by her and her acts on thee internet. I feel humiliated and upset that she didnt care and was never mine. I understand that more than ever at this time. The narristic abuse I form from her is horrible. I am a beaten man trying to do best I can everyday. I hope this story might help people that have been cheated on. There is hope but after me being in the hospital 6 times recently I am doing better. I care for everyone but once they show they hate me or want to mentally hurt me your out of my life.,2.662217194570136,4.536134461538462,4.253785822021118,84.99542986425341,76.1794871794872,7.46003016591252,23.778280542986426,8.313332769828598,1.4794977375565614,760,24,152,14,17,254,115,195,0.241,0.644,0.116,-0.9838,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,2,3,5,4,16,5,1,4,0,22,2,0,2,5,32,37,14,0,4,6,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,11,10,0,1,4,1,0,3,5,7,0,0,9,2,42,9,23,25,3,21,1,1,0,0,21,6,1,4,12,126,53,2,0.0,0.14230211333082965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604042099591156,0.21244223559199932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4898110113140977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347054409211227,0.09589226893348113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863980875144837,0.0,0.11476331961822915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072755649256498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825715768136814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758846882485364,0.11857659561610127,0.0,0.12766360154469736,0.0,0.0,0.08050233823258042,0.0,0.0,0.2385782504217801,0.0,0.0,0.12857247241286082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600532762523344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483212056543135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176533243215562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420706367340883,0.12741003263310252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37052256378819626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558110071248731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832641209505263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12949107247822295,0.0,0.14039368163325106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858697126107125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176266598454424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006575275473507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16308376003794706,0.0,0.0,0.25006238613156656,0.0,0.10373020982591363,0.0,0.0,0.07083971068216174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rhom_Achensa,2019/04/19,"Mania or a good night’s sleep? I’m in my mid-30s and on the up-side of my first depression. Today I feel pretty great, I’m coming up with brilliant ideas for work and I’m feeling pretty confident. 

It’s also the first time in a loooong time that I’ve gotten good 7+ hours of sleep regularly, thanks to MMJ. 

But now I’m wondering if my mood is a sign of mania or just the fact that I’m sleeping well.",2.8193103448275885,3.3802251264367835,4.57764367816092,88.06922413793106,73.59770114942529,7.639080459770115,24.84482758620689,7.793537801064563,1.0745724137931036,314,9,72,4,6,107,57,87,0.039,0.649,0.312,0.9753,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,6,0,1,3,3,0,1,15,12,7,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,1,2,4,5,10,11,0,13,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,4,8,36,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143852028721535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235315299317356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523331815780258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885606582144478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30088179931275183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966911939666401,0.0,0.19499379565813812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741759594731237,0.0,0.0,0.1996585539365454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16597540320955892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598696716435321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5309768517216262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283311922715465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20626228800345556,0.0,0.16764691738070733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15902247502172262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19180206475469344,0.12875950207986256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,troubledsparrow,2019/04/19,"I keep unintentionally starving myself For the past few weeks, I haven't had much of an appetite, and so I only eat a snack in the morning, and then dinner at night because my mom forces me to. Sometimes she comes home late so I skip dinner too. I'm underweight and I hate it, I don't want to lose weight. I've stopped weighing myself because I know it's just dropping and I don't know how to stop it.

I want to get outside on my bike, but I have no energy and I usually can't bike really far anyway. I have to walk 30min to get home anyway because the bus routes are shitty here. Whenever I get home, I just sleep or lie in my bed on my phone and I can't get anything done.

But for the past two days, my mom has been making me eat every meal because it's a long weekend and she's at home. It makes me sick though and I want to throw up after. I don't, but I just feel nauseous. 

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Very tired and have a lack of appetite? What do you do to feel better? Any advice would be greatly appreciated ♡",0.7742590286425894,2.7327142237442956,2.7863366542133683,92.81606787048572,82.56164383561644,5.260356994603571,20.000207555002078,6.351523495107088,0.008212785388127752,801,22,181,7,22,269,122,219,0.142,0.782,0.075,-0.8889,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,0,2,12,5,1,0,8,0,18,11,1,3,1,34,36,18,0,5,7,2,4,1,0,1,2,0,5,0,7,10,8,3,5,3,0,3,7,2,0,1,3,4,31,3,20,31,3,26,0,1,0,0,6,8,0,1,15,115,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942142981287484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614736572856898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782960643314811,0.1147324125385428,0.09214652055843314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27303756858556033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903347196238656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645721377619147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221511032188882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799075389850254,0.11459009335188662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22915834195243925,0.09354139026281373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128849777921267,0.09434441856957104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16985494658795164,0.07999551489464833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23401087989887834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345368548868027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11055289382187863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4492833226885468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952921237874186,0.0,0.0,0.12307791328830983,0.0,0.126313549722696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470570677109953,0.0,0.0,0.0990950357917,0.0,0.12527224814709845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494893965084944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622893449375077,0.0,0.0,0.08231507755060154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050816778940659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516262149641955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21378709207666616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173454774705908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205664096980628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074690311107084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872335210203132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001562883876873,0.0,0.0,0.1286996792278243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938405990085004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233254945879605,0.09239174011114257,0.19813863704029808,0.0,0.08982021115129586,0.13635632555880836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795443766853187,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,missionegg,2019/04/19,"not doing so well - advice? I am going through (and have been for a very long time) some serious lows, not being able to get out of bed some days and often feeling suicidal. nobody in my life is willing to hear me out about being suicidal, so I am unable to properly express these thoughts which makes me more certain in them at times. even samaritans changes the subject when I bring it up.

I have gone to my gp numerous times about mental health related issues, but I feel I am not able to make myself understood very well without bringing up being suicidal (I have done so when I lived in another country where healthcare is different and had terrible experiences thereafter).

I think I need to be medicated, however I have a few worries about this. 

1. I am worried about the potential health risks any meds might pose, for example interacting with my birth control pills or making me gain weight or make my often severe acne worse, which would put me on a downward spiral.
2. I am not sure how effective meds will be for me, as I have heard medication alone doesn't solve everything, and being put on a two year waiting list for cognitive behavioural therapy
3. Due to my ever changing mood swings, knowing myself, I may just stop taking them after a short period of time which is a worry. 
4. I am uncomfortable with the GP I am usually sent to when I make an appointment, and I cry almost every appointment I have, so unless an appointment is with someone else I'm unable to make myself go.

Medical/mental health and support is very much appreciated.",7.117998787143726,7.42473629209622,7.670762078027089,70.55543359611889,64.08591065292097,11.108227208409138,35.330705478067514,10.843485225782073,4.039613543561754,1235,53,211,31,17,409,173,291,0.187,0.745,0.067,-0.9891,2,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,3,20,10,0,1,11,0,34,8,0,9,3,50,60,19,3,2,10,0,3,0,0,5,7,2,1,0,6,11,1,3,7,0,0,8,6,4,2,1,8,5,35,5,37,41,5,39,0,1,0,0,7,14,0,9,17,158,41,0,0.18146243724185865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886614967527094,0.0,0.0,0.09085420935148486,0.09397017938743872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061700339968291225,0.09513959372472997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19196319754136731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176277671548617,0.0,0.0,0.09966398324528536,0.058514130004060125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479481230337967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284953785547717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579429078210181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059927114192621214,0.08207158170292725,0.07644496489350444,0.0,0.0815433689137418,0.0887525417671313,0.0,0.0,0.0917528606056614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047403316936486944,0.0,0.10312928488805556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893291278329656,0.10226067752990092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946998195296046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049863504927705485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640861429528755,0.0,0.0,0.08011732831526347,0.08029427333457906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633827578135759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015638599975285,0.1828043147045328,0.0914357281595292,0.09625148482122024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666978853541992,0.0672760489563224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18241986968954366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250045142703826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687626710358025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585536144213129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977356806958488,0.10296071167744514,0.0855130997903593,0.0,0.06821858476346045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037590557971426,0.0,0.0,0.05813690132625445,0.0,0.07203045280955082,0.21162441287598446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863121683094907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992761890093843,0.22458827251252172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104861811476821,0.16315652384305054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746165699948895,0.0,0.0,0.2764258701231384,0.09246286315958907,0.06445285450247203,0.0,0.0,0.05842793005202612
mentalhealth,pointsfg,2019/04/19,"I am struggling and not sure what to do My mental health has been on an overall slow decline since I was 13. I am now 20, a junior in college, and trying to figure out my life in LA but I have no idea what I’m doing. Every time I think I improve at all, I end up spiraling further down my mental health hole than I ever have before. I’m exhausted.

Trigger Warning: self-harm, sexual assault, suicide
*
*
*
In the last two years I’ve lost 3 family members (one to suicide) and my childhood dog in December while I was abroad, I started cutting again (and stopped again) in Fall 2018, and in the last 3 weeks I was assaulted when I was drunk and had a friend attempt suicide. My brain has been all over the place because of all these things just compiling plus more and I feel like I need to do something otherwise I’m not going to make it to my next birthday but I don’t know where to start.

My baseline anxiety levels have risen over time, I notice I feel more sad/depressed/fatigued/burnt out almost constantly. I have a very tough time leaving my room and for the first time ever my grades are suffering severely because of my mental health. I know I need to get help but I don’t even know where to start and I’m scared. I tried therapy in the past and it never worked out and I’m really, really nervous to be put on medication because I don’t want to rely on something just to feel normal. But I haven’t felt “normal” or really like myself in a while anyway so maybe I need it.

Sorry this is just kind of a rant and throwing information out there but I’m just scared and tired of feeling like this and looking for any advice on how to start on a more positive path towards healing/improving. I just want to enjoy life again.",3.1370443349753714,4.729753804597703,4.414039408866998,85.55275862068966,74.17241379310343,7.270279146141214,26.509031198686372,7.957251820313856,1.5948962233169135,1356,49,271,20,28,447,179,348,0.205,0.698,0.098,-0.9909,0,0,2,0,0,3,35.0,0,0,0,4,19,18,3,4,12,0,25,10,1,3,7,63,54,26,3,7,13,0,5,3,1,0,8,0,1,0,9,19,1,1,12,1,0,4,8,11,0,3,9,6,37,7,45,44,6,63,0,2,1,0,3,29,0,2,33,182,46,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863123265771224,0.0,0.0,0.0884469411826388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006553113034253,0.0,0.06757007328173542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16153034072860906,0.0,0.07515994942944942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986023770377924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09545033433764848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823169045342285,0.0,0.0,0.05833928864797745,0.1597940351131635,0.0744194832788358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326703192076768,0.0,0.17864356364453154,0.1262019518132732,0.08480797239554362,0.0,0.0,0.07513107903014726,0.0,0.0,0.06824138272880165,0.0,0.04614732123993685,0.0,0.05019838849410654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28166307906402205,0.0,0.0,0.05920386647430114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997106679707081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197919623272882,0.1456269726735201,0.14399692875979805,0.0,0.09352576110881597,0.0,0.0,0.12477624001870252,0.1294566385177283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07417260995843453,0.0,0.09641958281088417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0589590980182016,0.0,0.08873655363302617,0.0,0.0,0.08898037078311857,0.267039156300317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19648051931265614,0.06812338894075172,0.0,0.0939369890427967,0.0,0.17308382276276058,0.0,0.10056111311183877,0.0,0.0,0.059852802885321466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431831562085555,0.0,0.0,0.0922831341339418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879324139268407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975401589783898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686189044640138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214454265224137,0.09978460506423427,0.0,0.07306518020485625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599720185028905,0.0,0.09887507925296296,0.2500738131796213,0.0,0.0,0.0738455019283082,0.0,0.0923387769571426,0.0,0.28984689236138594,0.0,0.08324734936873257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010098615216888,0.0,0.058680673020193336,0.056596509163942925,0.0,0.0,0.2060172239905884,0.10151913352694852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993675420356913,0.0,0.08628284895051526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728791979700785,0.10419535293963583,0.0,0.07085075941133924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06430326027523574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568798268084915
mentalhealth,imsad_throwaway,2019/04/19,"i get mad when someone else is having fun and im not (17F) bit of background: im currently struggling with the aftermath of my depression, and anxiety is still pretty common at the moment. i also dont have any friends.

so ill give an example of the title; tonight my boyfriend is having over some friends (who are people i really enjoy hanging out with, and whom i hardly ever see because they live kinda far away). i asked my parents if i could go too and they wont let me. for some reason im currently angry (not really at anyone specifically) because i know my bf is having fun and im sitting here alone in my room.

i really dont know why i get so insanely upset about this, and i dont know how to get rid of this feeling...

im writing this while crying so ignore any grammar mistakes or something",4.2212289562289556,5.0199750061728405,5.9598092031425365,78.56459595959599,70.54320987654322,8.60695847362514,30.159371492704825,8.841846274778883,2.5007950617283945,629,25,119,11,11,217,100,162,0.211,0.7140000000000001,0.075,-0.9676,3,1,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,2,0,11,11,1,2,4,0,15,1,0,2,1,27,26,15,0,3,4,1,2,0,3,1,1,0,1,0,5,9,0,1,5,0,0,2,6,6,0,0,0,3,18,5,15,23,3,21,0,1,1,0,11,8,0,5,10,80,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11698248411182585,0.0,0.09032634293373093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362020349616812,0.0,0.08640669792186016,0.0,0.0,0.0789775011943623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559331703494286,0.0,0.10612055881946762,0.0,0.0,0.13770695298155322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233125130892888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901816524858065,0.0,0.12407064041500974,0.0,0.0,0.09728395893467788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3971308579316326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435551230169896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217004548869138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05711108368625256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453029889820973,0.0,0.1770356662034326,0.10835225448815253,0.06419227892042098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118131539648356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6100287265609581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862236523647094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549937123356473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973721608086096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254179814157523,0.0,0.0,0.0783055412455129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491109814467218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707663260255827,0.11613175731436233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000679410491395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957024531999904,0.08695468694772415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020228427580218,0.0,0.0,0.1180802153897697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192010998688214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hellbentforheather,2019/04/19,"An introspective look at mental ""illness"" - navigating life post-depression/PTSD Have any of you ever shared your story publicly? I've recently come out of a horrifying 12 year battle with depression, anxiety,  c-PTSD, traumatic brain injury,  Stockholm syndrome,  and generally being a super fucked up excuse for a human. I know a lot of you deal with the same issues - I literally never thought it was possible to ""get better"", but the last year and a half of my life has been completely surreal. Happiness is now my baseline... I've found my confidence again and I've been able to objectively look back at my life and fully understand how, when, and why I developed all of my issues.

 It's wild- if any of you are curious, if any of you feel lost and alone and like no one understands you, maybe this will resonate and help you understand your own life and your own circumstances a little more. ❤❤❤

https://youtu.be/YLMNWkYaS_8",7.6883928571428575,8.302392958333336,8.029857142857143,67.41514285714288,62.86904761904761,12.196190476190472,34.65714285714286,11.792908689023552,4.485567142857144,739,30,124,23,10,243,110,168,0.128,0.7340000000000001,0.138,0.6973,0,1,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,9,0,3,6,9,2,0,9,0,9,7,1,1,3,30,22,14,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,3,13,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,4,0,2,6,3,17,5,16,14,6,16,0,2,2,1,15,5,1,3,11,82,20,0,0.1270807337164177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161731458618856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25925777013362505,0.0,0.09721641345779533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771724000237116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239258186588584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186412694950468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946879959952684,0.13324173148952626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101465636533458,0.10945444973672733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495179915580955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425583731583423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933746521071572,0.0,0.11748409056916635,0.06639443830297083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527980409776813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517953706321545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652785387775767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984024780224117,0.10358775921846748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35904352179076826,0.06208522739803759,0.12736828049048524,0.0,0.0,0.21343162044230246,0.0,0.13872363270774754,0.1080394953556554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766967782969585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280674898785887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801249612083043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861131940414834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432644330341519,0.1217082145409597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971011543433887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12547689341101392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088790751513176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.396886576624728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467059603537967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367165201570966
mentalhealth,iCivic,2019/04/19,Brain Fog Starting to freak out big time now. I missed 5 days of my anti depressants (citalopram) and had a big night out last Saturday. Was hungover so smoked abit of weed to pick me up. Fast forward 6 days and I still feel like I'm drunk and cannot concentrate. Any ideas what to do?,1.5124712643678144,3.745456224137932,2.21793103448276,96.37850574712644,81.58620689655173,5.935632183908046,21.735632183908052,7.1686216300943375,0.4885080459770115,223,7,50,3,6,69,48,58,0.207,0.7509999999999999,0.042,-0.836,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,1,0,8,8,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,1,4,1,8,6,0,16,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,12,24,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22160137347115744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637763916826138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203157254249632,0.0,0.2806695789486314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647686215389692,0.2328001212198945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678652391183719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656258638548868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15920261510291214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058049864913742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23065100493958496,0.0,0.2602385575703544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001621618878511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sedonalepstein,2019/04/19,"Today, I took a big step towards recovery and found my passion again I’ve had depression for most of my life and some days are worse than others, but the last year has been particularly hard. I just got out of a mental health treatment program and moved home for the summer. It’s been ok, and I definitely feel like I’m better than I was a few months ago, but I still feel something missing. 
Today, I spent a few hours painting again for the first time in months! I feel accomplished and hopeful that I’ve rediscovered my passion for art again.",8.409905660377362,6.822206216981133,7.928943396226419,75.97549056603775,62.301886792452834,10.744150943396228,35.350943396226405,9.3871,2.9781305660377364,433,15,85,6,5,137,70,106,0.079,0.679,0.241,0.9674,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,5,8,0,0,7,1,6,4,0,0,0,16,16,7,0,1,3,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,6,0,0,4,1,1,3,0,2,0,1,8,4,10,6,11,8,4,23,0,2,0,2,0,4,0,3,17,54,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076956771954746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17038024293493342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424110552126832,0.0,0.16592621529689666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922236945741625,0.13762675377706518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638650807871229,0.0,0.21122702920792505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540770669830486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257349419520446,0.0,0.0,0.20477430379623854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193240225121468,0.19134151997873788,0.18971807357859305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15703267322204753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360719752392597,0.0941173870297837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941424396106348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30753732112150545,0.20475282461095973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483087475628965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384780599922232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233376882292058,0.0,0.36521286063895775,0.0,0.2140374364846238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19632332118433626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405808003091512
mentalhealth,portugueseman-o,2019/04/19,"Anyone here has serious physical sequels of a toxic Psychosis ? So, long story short, after coming back from the depths of the post-depression of my first toxic psychosis, after a miraculously unlikely road back on tracks where I felt sort of happy, I decided to be a huge fucking asshole and think I now knew what the symptoms were so it surely couldn't happen again because I obviously would notice. Back to smoking pot every day in less than 2 weeks, obviously didn't had a clue I was going psychotic again, what do you know 5 months later, after disgracing my image, credibility, and relations yet again, I managed to loose my right hand on the train tracks. Only didn't lost my life because random guy pulled me back. But the hand got fucked pretty bad. So, 5 months later, here I am, on the verge of depression every day, but sober. And not sure how to deal with this shit. Especially the part where I don't know if I'll be granted a bionic hand or a prosthetic one and it's the difference between the sun and the moon. I was wondering if anyone could relate to any of this?",6.672101449275362,6.798737526570051,7.269867149758454,73.66538043478263,65.03864734299518,10.185024154589373,31.2596618357488,9.928628108626363,2.982629951690821,856,29,154,17,12,283,127,207,0.09,0.809,0.102,0.1194,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,2,17,10,3,0,16,0,15,8,4,1,4,30,28,14,0,5,6,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,6,7,0,0,7,0,0,3,5,7,0,2,10,4,15,3,22,13,2,36,0,2,0,2,3,12,3,6,21,106,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918388084260656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18886056487587785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4153812576514652,0.11276132672870336,0.16465077100520242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163338415261838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107826644122322,0.0,0.0,0.17419249159477854,0.1392308888648683,0.2326371835005145,0.0,0.0,0.14109877857057196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275713388159569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966942909296764,0.0,0.0,0.11487368286014756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497035799080837,0.0,0.0,0.07675217545655916,0.0,0.10801203065115336,0.0,0.0,0.13372099078019942,0.11942449962978935,0.1437635138886731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844018295073091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538999312547204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951523103882793,0.0,0.0,0.1474233129658744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559165945834247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375561704680804,0.0,0.0,0.09151355185755364,0.10271180894885294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462462719125415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293408185221754,0.13739466669565514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533218483529314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13862715200385042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545665451309291,0.14036893080976998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653475404075363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832917312092603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14645624699717985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593583050284027,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,illforgetthisuargh,2019/04/19,"Social insecurities Can you help me out with strategies to counter feeling uncomfortable around people. I think I dont particularly know how to behave/think I upset others, and therefore irritate them, and the actual problems, i give a shit about how they react in these millisecs to me. How can I distract myself and counter insecurities with strangers? Im on vacation in New York and crowded places are (way more) exhausting (than usual) when you have to go through them for hours.",5.49308823529412,8.392650705882357,5.629044117647061,73.62944852941176,71.35294117647058,8.014705882352942,31.801470588235286,8.841846274778883,3.0840882352941166,390,18,62,8,8,123,63,85,0.262,0.693,0.045,-0.9607,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,3,0,6,7,1,4,2,0,5,2,1,5,0,17,10,8,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,7,0,0,0,1,13,0,15,10,1,12,0,0,0,0,9,6,1,0,4,46,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.24021113074242076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21912955317207888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884910569326188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244630320168974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361336757948471,0.1398951858522195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499206751556816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424124440053291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265888930920287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352799895136739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377373985177809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706524278313911,0.0,0.2571788973307134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355364625429025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526738959304014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509233539137861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154515276523744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711042325774071,0.0,0.0,0.1953858600662836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,youareimpolite,2019/04/19,"I have ptsd, my friend killed himself last night. 16m Last night at about 6pm one of my closest friends, an 18 year old about to graduate, took his life by jumping off an overpass. I’m 16 and as we attended the same school; I’m afraid of going back and constantly looking for him in the hallways. I cant understand why he didn’t talk to me, we always talked about everything and he was the most optimistic, kind person I’ve ever met, so it was sudden and heartbreaking. I’m feeling guilty because yesterday he asked me to skip school with him and go to a beach down the road. I said no, and that night police found him dead at the scene. I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel guilty, upset, and I miss him so much more than I’ve ever missed anybody. I suffer from ptsd after watching my sister try to throw herself in front of a car when I was 10 after my mom caught her abusing me. How do I handle these feelings?",4.359877192982456,4.643012900000002,5.055526315789475,87.017850877193,70.0,8.017543859649122,27.41228070175439,7.793537801064563,1.4212280701754387,721,22,155,8,12,233,124,190,0.163,0.767,0.071,-0.9547,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,0,0,10,10,1,2,9,0,9,1,0,1,2,22,28,12,2,0,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,4,11,0,0,6,1,0,9,4,7,0,1,9,6,27,3,27,19,4,33,0,4,2,0,23,8,0,1,16,96,31,3,0.0,0.16421743828222204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153256725983522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957158208531422,0.0,0.0,0.1065742621551214,0.0,0.0844888117117453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977654270957155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507418993442065,0.0,0.0,0.12456406210353127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21023982413732856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196691540854598,0.21416286167599366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753828690935606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15333952648652965,0.1443297826931715,0.0761705189184025,0.22595376223771074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789674374628997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638845647225787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623257575374854,0.0,0.0,0.10188639056871952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39019799995752796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454365899560321,0.0,0.0939184336005519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210195124078287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240301947620825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318396183926662,0.0,0.0,0.2805396654599234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22280164192792568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539888579908148,0.09409978767006176,0.0,0.0,0.14428669926284607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506425849790712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925336792597076
mentalhealth,Nustalgia,2019/04/19,"Am I lost? I lost my family due to bad decision making on my side and mental illness (Agoraphobia), lost my 4 years girlfriend, lost my job. At the moment I have 0 money, no place to go to, I'm quite literally a soon to be hobo. I'm living In a friends house for a few days but I have to leave soon. I joined an eco-community as a volunteer and I'm waiting to move there for 4 months and restart my life. Is It a good choice or am I completly lost? I'm so scared right now.",0.8458144552319311,2.2790070873786377,3.537411003236248,90.08490830636462,80.06796116504856,7.2962243797195265,22.124056094929887,8.167268648758528,0.9449188781014022,362,11,88,7,9,128,67,103,0.214,0.727,0.06,-0.8834,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,6,5,9,0,1,7,0,6,2,0,1,0,8,18,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,7,0,0,5,0,11,2,12,12,1,16,0,5,0,0,2,6,0,1,8,49,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220142191407856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321675116098338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424313041855413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377603605660113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290131608375716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305025337472209,0.12256869196114616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861685039085933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450135839710297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473281892431284,0.0,0.0,0.10321744043551316,0.0,0.0,0.12903734227403854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7976023755891145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975443271397366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14726680979886486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664126675879133,0.15531532074201254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267696637188122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554295010514053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124796034976919,0.0,0.0,0.14630374853199168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410429637417804
mentalhealth,Xem17,2019/04/19,"Can't cry I haven't been able to cry since I started my antidepressants, I really want to be able to express myself with that again. I just want a good cry",4.375454545454549,4.321835787878786,5.505606060606059,84.9784090909091,69.9090909090909,9.024242424242424,25.59090909090909,8.841846274778883,1.4610727272727282,123,3,28,2,2,41,23,33,0.0,0.593,0.407,0.8945,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,4,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,18,7,0,0.4643616792136422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7651192498073436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947422725168786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487409911823109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920623898133564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643387933019311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27389254959645604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,NostradamusInspector,2019/04/19,"A Message on Mental Health I was compelled to write an email to family members about mental health. I wrote this email due to recent circumstances of a relative who is facing severe criminal consequences (i.e., the death penalty). I wanted to share what I wrote in case anyone else might find it useful for opening up a channel to their loved ones on mental health. If even one person in my family can find solace in my attempt to reach out, then I've achieved my goal.  


""Hi all,

For those of you who have never received an email from me and are wondering who this could be: I'm \*name\*, your son, your cousin, your nephew, and most importantly, someone who cares about you.

I am writing you because I am compelled by a recent release of a mental health report (attached to this email; p. 1-6) regarding another relative: \*name\*. I am sure at this point most, if not all, of you know of his current situation. Indeed, many of you, including myself, have been visited and interviewed by his legal team. Between knowing \*name\* and these interviews, it should come as no surprise that mental health has a role in his situation. In fact, regardless of guilt or innocence, the underlying cause of his situation is mental health.

In reading this report (which I strongly suggest all of you to do), I arrived at three main conclusions: (1) there is a clear and undeniable existence of mental health issues, (2) \*name\* felt helpless, alone, and that he did not have support, and (3) \*name\* actively sought help and the system failed him (on multiple occasions). It is the first and second conclusions that I wish to address. I will not waste key strokes on the third conclusion other than: There is an egregious systemic failure to provide adequate mental health resources in our country \[U.S.A.\]. This is not up for debate. This is a fact.

I'd like to first start with a brief discussion of mental health. Mental health affects everyone. The prevalence of mental disorder in youth (ages 13-18) is [1 in 5](https://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/Children-MH-Facts-NAMI.pdf). This means that either your child or one of your child's friends has had some diagnosable mental health disorder. [37% and 47%](http://ga.berkeley.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/wellbeingreport_2014.pdf) of people in Master's and PhD programs, respectively, reach the clinical threshold of depression -- this does not account for other possible mental health issues such as anxiety disorder (many times these disorders are comorbid). In all likelihood, each and every person at some point in their life will reach the threshold of a clinical diagnosis and many people do not seek or get the help they need. I can attest to my own bouts of depression where I did not reach out to anyone. I should have and I will if another bout should arrive. This means that mental health is not a teenage issue, it is not an advanced degree issue, it is not a criminal issue, it is not a religious issue, and it is not a political issue. Mental health is a human issue.

This leads me to my second point: there are no fingers to point at any one person or event with mental health. As someone who has a close pulse on the state-of-the-art research in the mental health field, we know that mental disorders are a complex and dynamic system. They are *complex* meaning that there are numerous factors, causes, and pathways; they are *dynamic* meaning that how these elements interact with people, situations, and environments changes over time. There are certain factors that reinforce and perpetuate the disorder's cycle and there are other factors that tip the scales toward disorder. This becomes obvious when reading through \*name\*'s mental health report.

Mental disorder is not categorical and once a person is diagnosed it does mean that they forever diagnosed. There are no true lines where mental disorder begins or ends. There are, however, ebbs and flows between states of stable and unstable mental health. This makes mental disorder difficult to pinpoint and difficult to perceive, especially in those that we are closest to. With that, I want to close with the second conclusion I had from \*name\*'s mental health report: his feeling of helplessness, isolation, and lack of support. I have no doubt that each and every one of us would have liked to have been there for him had we'd known. **This** is the point of my email.

There is an open channel of communication where it might have been perceived as closed. This channel has always been open but I want to make it explicit. I encourage you to share this email with family that I have not included. If you agree with the sentiment that I've conveyed, then I implore you to reach out to the people you love and explicitly open these channels. This is not meant to be a ""kumbaya"" message; instead, this is emphatic encouragement to open up dialogue about mental health with the people around you. There is too much we don't talk about and we're all losing because of it.

I am always available to each and every one of you, and I know you would be willing to make yourself available for me. My email(s): \*emails\*. My phone number: \*phone number\*.

Love,  
\*Name\*""",6.3853876314656475,8.577016987991271,6.2655667630235605,73.12041976751337,66.89301310043668,9.309034996002216,33.09791500092257,9.737214569906763,3.6022901654468296,4155,185,646,95,71,1306,369,916,0.07,0.84,0.09,0.9396,2,2,0,0,0,0,226.0,6,18,6,16,25,31,0,2,42,0,81,32,2,11,15,164,116,48,1,17,26,3,4,2,1,11,27,0,1,7,61,57,0,0,25,7,1,7,21,10,0,13,14,4,73,21,116,86,17,79,0,6,0,3,95,50,0,17,20,484,134,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02644325670949212,0.0,0.0,0.0424890249366004,0.0,0.0,0.017362507334561458,0.053544661008407386,0.01953176590422829,0.0,0.0,0.035704872472367366,0.026160358078743173,0.0,0.02272872528217178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03112791061003857,0.02819787985529263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026031383417451648,0.05245640691745733,0.027009271156291228,0.021993394855314853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020385073930288662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043981023643954564,0.07774275365793762,0.0,0.0,0.2926166793698538,0.0,0.044686120576949616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02132855232723887,0.0,0.02261360673470416,0.0,0.0,0.01686352069118598,0.0,0.06453495706843136,0.024396740017965282,0.0,0.0,0.07220735879189659,0.0,0.012909651033134422,0.0,0.024514542950625457,0.0,0.046671226303457616,0.0434346916165198,0.0,0.0,0.01972581422077701,0.0,0.01333931771551453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5427824337957491,0.0,0.0,0.034226870105047186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131886225598628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056126463515705334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01803387351892854,0.02494710686227265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028563566269961826,0.0,0.0,0.06913037008758723,0.0,0.05112804727683671,0.07765574841588717,0.0,0.1390581380840417,0.0,0.0,0.6432515208290029,0.05417043445886058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01876881917112871,0.018931514705506632,0.019691707005342517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0271905459659084,0.10380609739406754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850271665249654,0.08917357193171792,0.0,0.0,0.1206790723319368,0.028783281226887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051077441516400736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050419167326260006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0288436796395678,0.0,0.0,0.1147953034112674,0.0,0.0,0.04326604203884695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.018071547582302082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057946394220518525,0.024063430170307355,0.0,0.0,0.020521502945750884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02977560919939695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030711625570322545,0.02205128755032829,0.0,0.0,0.04517797176510202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029360323177203575,0.0,0.02768816044393681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036274132674396865,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pleazkillmelol,2019/04/19,Why is that? I suddenly developed this feeling that every single person I know has changed and they’re not them anymore??? It’s like all of them where replaced or all of them made a deal to stand against me or something and I truly believe my feelings but I still don’t because it’s impossible to happen? What is that and what should I do about it?,2.2081428571428567,4.507878385714289,3.312857142857143,89.12214285714286,79.42857142857143,5.7142857142857135,27.142857142857146,6.868970318607317,1.2804285714285712,277,12,55,3,7,89,50,70,0.0,0.905,0.095,0.6088,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,2,14,11,6,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,10,1,6,9,3,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,3,44,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29163434730011817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792598385257252,0.0,0.0,0.33131156039756826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110827223085689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031690225722766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24776319722148502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973771016775957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600414973942046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16161092392112975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14366574113627809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27825225751097443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25676699450696105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22638629065290644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348414014519353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653487287779878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,franzife,2019/04/19,"I relapsed I have been struggling with depression and ptsd for some years, there are better times and worse times. Today I relapsed, did something that I haven't done in a long time, and I don't know if I feel worse now or some kind of relieved. I didn't know who I could tell this, but I had to tell it.
Sorry for my english, it is not my mothertongue",5.438150684931507,4.72809880821918,5.428869863013703,88.64549657534248,67.76712328767124,8.395890410958902,29.20890410958904,7.1686216300943375,1.3506465753424646,275,8,62,2,4,86,50,73,0.14800000000000002,0.7979999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.6365,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,1,1,0,11,0,0,0,0,14,14,6,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,1,11,3,6,8,2,8,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,4,7,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18674895561956173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16858965003277493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18186702215488368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160843180974265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676603661895888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21988487091998374,0.2320899319288385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686504748830474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468282575499528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625570150595053,0.0,0.2363701242151625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22074448227137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691166002851035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693775812345991,0.0,0.2001497331154881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4303688568978023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359765456537642
mentalhealth,santastolle,2019/04/19,"I've been depressed for most of my life and I've never been this sad. I'm 19 years old and I've been depressed for around 10 years. I've always had periods where I can barely get out of bed and it's the reason I dropped out of school. I've never been bullied and from the outside, it might seem like I have no reason to be depressed at all. Today was one of the worst days of my life, but nothing happened. I've been incredibly sad all day and there's seemingly no reason for it. I don't believe I'm chronically depressed, because I used to take pills and they didn't help. After being stuck at home for 2 years it's starting to dawn on me that it might not pass. I'm not considering suicide, never have, never will. I'm not sure what I should do, after seeking help I was given pills with horrible side-effects and nothing else. I'm starting to lose the last bit of hope for my future.",2.9386635944700465,4.1006679354838695,4.309708141321046,87.82741935483875,73.94623655913979,6.604608294930878,25.651305683563752,6.868970318607317,0.9548660522273428,700,23,149,6,14,232,99,186,0.222,0.7140000000000001,0.064,-0.9826,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,1,1,3,11,0,0,4,0,20,5,0,4,7,33,36,8,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,2,0,8,11,0,0,5,0,0,1,11,8,0,1,11,0,12,3,25,19,5,27,0,7,0,0,3,7,0,6,19,93,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09896615066427844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588025750361606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250365231713299,0.0,0.0,0.134002676680225,0.0,0.0,0.12984976258352562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534106614835576,0.0,0.4097653564713749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993576447667644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214032582588683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517670031478002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944360166594168,0.0,0.11930476083875945,0.11813251751926244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695054697256256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680192046202906,0.05810722039523158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306147680254682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25234937192389995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669300380953354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22824891436194306,0.0,0.12480568419328007,0.0,0.0805956353034793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36686498566674863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037185725292596,0.0,0.21655382878202167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16837020886550685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300991393578444,0.0,0.11209789159847568,0.0,0.0894267607952852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127395524570041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272445881276222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22977699739638305
mentalhealth,texandad,2019/04/19,"Broke up fight at AA meeting last night. Went to an AA meeting last night for 2nd time ever to avoid drinking last night due to my anger and alcohol, sugar cravings.  A cussing, threats fight erupted due to harmless crosstalk.  I was there to break up, make peace, talk the guy down, validate his anger, keep the other guy off him, and help him get home.  Was nuts 🥜!",4.6118571428571435,5.857216471428576,3.861428571428572,92.31357142857144,70.0,6.742857142857144,29.714285714285715,6.742157984588678,1.3006571428571427,283,11,59,2,5,83,51,70,0.256,0.624,0.119,-0.906,0,1,2,0,2,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,5,1,4,0,2,3,0,1,1,6,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,2,3,2,0,1,0,1,0,7,2,0,3,1,5,1,11,3,0,17,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,0,10,27,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21139746417488287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377733066939826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789293966170935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334694081802903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3917236497280099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325870780864087,0.0,0.19841836832751147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17582156224216108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4837217526822958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320389190499369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5568905147181206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15899123146042554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153439099127171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833707519151919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,standard59,2019/04/19,Tips on taking care of hygiene when you’re bad? I have issues and at times it’s really hard to function. My main problem is showering. I realized that I don’t like the silence in there so I’ve been putting on Netflix to distract myself. It helps a little but not enough. I washed my hair in the sink today cause I didn’t have the energy. Do you have any advice I could use? Tips on being clean when you’re too tired to live?,1.1901747815230976,3.2731815505618016,2.8509363295880163,92.2359800249688,81.80898876404493,5.7533083645443215,20.001248439450688,6.937597516519254,0.3142649188514355,334,9,72,4,9,110,65,89,0.122,0.7390000000000001,0.139,0.3598,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,1,4,0,10,3,1,2,0,8,13,5,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,2,10,2,10,9,2,12,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,5,47,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406705458409189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748481632513298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056408442073715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511078259810061,0.2530064209147441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19664155050880436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544821473715877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22062637125901355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508217800769626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570614989818561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032425761324332,0.2468460604201216,0.217477505379034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356651008882087,0.0,0.2475882497949716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577788993569227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517851190026624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436129684968654,0.28307272261276123,0.23345296609905505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21271442965773174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,throwaway-1101010010,2019/04/19,"Substance use and college Hey everyone, I’ve had some mental health issues in the past, anxiety and depression during parts of high school. I am just now finishing up my freshman year of college, and college is the first place where I drank alcohol and smoked weed. I found myself a huge stoner, smoking almost every night at the start of the year. No problem, it was fun, a nice way to relax. I would drink socially, generally just have a good time. But as time went on, I started smoking more and more, eventually becoming an all day, every day user. I quit for a few days here and there, but nothing too drastic. 

I noticed at this point I’m mostly smoking/drinking as a way of dealing with my problems, which is the last thing I want to do. I want to take a break, get back to when my mental health was good, and then take it easy with the substances. I would say by no means am I an alcoholic, but I want to avoid that and not feel like I need substances to have fun. I unfortunately have a history in my family of addiction, and I have a rather addictive personality. Is it ever going to possible to go back and moderate the use again? 

Sometimes I feel like what I’m doing is too much, but at the same time I’m in college and young and don’t feel like I should be dealing with this stuff. Idk, I haven’t had a real conversation about this with anyone. If this isn’t the right sub to post this to, sorry.",4.83003954132068,5.342060451957295,5.825735468564652,81.10004250691976,69.0355871886121,8.949070778964018,29.490114669829968,8.998388855275968,2.248594147884539,1101,39,223,19,18,365,152,281,0.109,0.797,0.094,-0.5179,0,1,5,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,0,2,15,13,0,1,20,0,23,8,0,2,2,50,46,21,0,11,9,0,3,3,0,3,6,1,0,1,13,16,4,1,5,2,0,3,6,4,0,1,7,4,23,9,32,35,9,44,0,1,0,0,7,14,0,4,26,156,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21156355349651848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20740044463049764,0.09716589636918614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423102088509713,0.0,0.0,0.06784868166022473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922686870358776,0.0,0.0,0.10716682857644504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877374069740227,0.2000763317015609,0.08357555329791197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901134656321921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777313521876454,0.16351126909381727,0.0927204906449251,0.0,0.0,0.09147536010178213,0.0,0.14719046605803254,0.20796410154234707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253737824662466,0.0,0.1063931688307286,0.0,0.0,0.05069644889195329,0.0,0.11029372749582247,0.16277563717580049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20628597729831352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252213038741204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012786629950878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909595555409675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422182627722784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056988661749688,0.0,0.0,0.195575627154906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133142055419868,0.07194974946872378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106017489681248,0.0,0.09310708680556656,0.11047426360644902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507875747920156,0.0926302776341637,0.0,0.0847266615947546,0.1013802549640052,0.0,0.09172883581127572,0.10939166281079243,0.0929320954573173,0.0,0.0,0.18569755818816644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320798755680326,0.0,0.11044634681155764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286681445870721,0.0,0.07716561886853908,0.0,0.09820395416578698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891431163378334,0.0,0.0,0.09596946459820424,0.10862202328003484,0.13736284088040268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108112854863736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591552741239294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644653180462209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697445494061886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676130662960018,0.0,0.0,0.17170014130241132,0.15404271902145436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995182517415963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786085258983274,0.0,0.0,0.12497389470504355
mentalhealth,auserhasnoname7,2019/04/19,"I feel like I’m lying but I’m not I just got back from a ptsd assessment and I basically unloaded on this psychiatrist but I feel horribly guilty and uncomfortable right now as if I’m nervous about getting found out or getting caught in a lie. I don’t remember anything in particular that I lied about or taking any time to think and make something up so I should have nothing to fear. I feel like I may have exaggerated but I wasn’t trying too, it felt weird having someone listening to me and taking what I was saying very seriously. The worst thing about my symptoms is the physical side effects the muscle tension and the anxiety feeling in my stomach and chest. I’m pretty uncomfortable right now and can’t shake it off.",4.553984526112188,6.327796042553196,5.8956157317859486,75.6245454545455,70.84397163120568,9.098903932946486,31.25789813023856,9.573946990214177,3.099618439716312,586,26,107,14,11,197,91,141,0.268,0.6409999999999999,0.091,-0.98,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,9,9,0,4,6,0,10,3,2,2,0,28,29,15,0,2,8,0,5,2,0,2,1,2,0,0,6,8,0,0,9,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,6,7,14,2,15,21,1,16,0,0,0,0,2,10,0,4,6,72,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239271639403956,0.0,0.1394105303236069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996522664339024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012872688832348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050668841063153,0.3685772818795369,0.2603797831741945,0.1749757523280415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981306888477274,0.0,0.0,0.19042224507435704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14575128814760865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780632337476572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164437187817564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486097043636467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540017750596052,0.0,0.0,0.21302487930574035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20643858751006847,0.3112581886162804,0.0,0.1449218900796784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544085131681144,0.14029466827291612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18941364548087092,0.2740385463713117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106992560717875,0.11676988012299393,0.0,0.0,0.10626364993187254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237267158131919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150364312854965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,always-stressed,2019/04/19,"My friend gets ""scared"" Hey guys, 

​

So I've been friends with this gal for a while now, and in general she's a super sweet person and very nice on the outside. Maybe a little bit of a more quiet person? But not really not bad where she won't talk to people.   


She has a much better ""best friend"" who she confides in me that she sometimes get annoyed with because of how ""extroverted"" she is. I've got a job this summer and was encouraging her to apply to some different jobs (sending her application links etc) and she said she's not scared for applying or rejection, but actually working. She says she's scared about almost everything and constantly complains to me about it. While I try my best to engage with her and let her be herself, its becoming a constant in my life to wake up and go to bed with her talking & complaining about a variety of different matters pertaining to school, stress, her friends and how she feels ""scared"". She doesn't even feel comfortable enough to discuss these things with her aforementioned ""best friend"". While its getting quite tiring to constantly assure her she's ok, I also want her to be more confident in herself and like stop feeling so shit, I guess. 

​

 [https://imgur.com/a/PvQMiwN](https://imgur.com/a/PvQMiwN) 

​

Here are a select few from the last TWO DAYS. How should I approach this? I've been telling her to go to therapy and stuff, but she seems to be scared of even thinking about going to therapy!",8.949786780383796,8.630246985074631,7.682430703624735,74.07888059701494,60.49253731343283,11.08997867803838,36.30703624733475,10.451354775682146,3.674603624733475,1184,46,208,23,14,359,151,268,0.08800000000000001,0.698,0.214,0.9881,4,0,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,0,7,15,30,2,6,11,1,13,4,2,3,1,40,28,23,0,2,7,0,3,1,5,2,2,3,1,3,11,15,0,1,6,0,0,5,5,12,0,1,5,7,35,18,37,17,11,24,0,1,0,0,46,8,1,5,12,149,46,4,0.0,0.0,0.07501076474387691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697084916695834,0.0,0.0,0.06147023427554577,0.0,0.33313994370687944,0.2802041889791536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418044415960426,0.046857197945886116,0.08489317863870105,0.0,0.0,0.24200042867658775,0.06798230768094116,0.08391847629950086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24919663209385254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049572631877233916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061858336989246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07942379983875256,0.08572663637865748,0.10153939812929427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908279092434456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11659826734598999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969349254326897,0.0,0.12047896021470007,0.0,0.13105527011586504,0.0,0.06147728394904746,0.0,0.08467728381025869,0.07611007098545365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525565838797504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265658108621651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860136011057478,0.05429318991522645,0.03755316375284447,0.07704057945237715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772228840698908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056505834016916064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053289658466152516,0.13423399224870244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817571466934902,0.0,0.0,0.04924274590863504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311778886430302,0.061127447311738976,0.384784643507977,0.0777931560984476,0.0,0.06997651357475758,0.0,0.0,0.07890251424226394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602308485021797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426396339524111,0.08805049079424966,0.0,0.08799392698778323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12356500733024207,0.06718484236625198,0.0,0.175807432379298,0.0,0.051066788423198575,0.049253047216621215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834690956838727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052187411423955214,0.0,0.07508755038290878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342303848338067,0.04533794322210513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05595983853605969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802041889791536,0.0
mentalhealth,hafsaDanguir,2019/04/19,ACNE FIRST WORLD PROBLEM? Acne  The mentally exhausting and tiring roller coaster of disappointment : [https://medium.com/@hafsa.danguir/acne-first-world-problem-8a700cdfb93e](https://medium.com/@hafsa.danguir/acne-first-world-problem-8a700cdfb93e),52.662,67.65547520000001,24.90666666666667,-74.59999999999994,-3.0,12.666666666666668,45.0,9.725611199111238,9.001000000000003,228,6,6,4,3,49,14,15,0.435,0.565,0.0,-0.8494,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6172956694929292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437844733011905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.69441446372604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780355005581367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gANyClEn,2019/04/19,"What am I searching for? For five years I've been trying to search for ""something"" I just don't know after what. Is it purpose, self-care, or a miracle perhaps, I keep overthinking but it made my brain numb.",2.1903658536585344,4.401803097560975,3.085548780487805,91.19710365853659,79.0,6.051219512195122,24.88414634146341,7.1686216300943375,1.0488,161,6,33,2,4,51,34,41,0.083,0.853,0.064,-0.1779,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,1,0,6,7,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,4,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4639220050112704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36938443657240894,0.0,0.0,0.2283905627701945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3932295425525977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4335380369348488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199319146947469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821498890606737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26761832818264863
mentalhealth,hailsbabe,2019/04/19,"WHY am I like this It’s like I know I need to workout and loose weight and be healthy but I find myself in bed crying/smoking and eating copious amounts of food until I can’t eat anymore. 

Why. 
This shit sucks.",-0.6246428571428595,1.5415699772727294,1.0750649350649368,98.55045454545456,99.22727272727272,3.4233766233766234,19.92207792207792,5.288315135182226,-0.2910740259740261,165,6,36,1,7,53,35,44,0.217,0.664,0.118,-0.7543,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,7,6,5,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,6,2,4,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,20,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554750679571933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5271887174555281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23544642150455666,0.0,0.3114971451950897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157304224830136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517057083275617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910109394636672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26442796360493404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136936485742951,0.0,0.0,0.4648971230206245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,megatronrules,2019/04/19,"Being unashamed of my CPTSD and then regretting it When it comes up I try to always be honest with people about the fact that I struggle with my mental health because of being molested. I don't think I should be ashamed or that anyone should be! In the moment I will feel very empowered and good about being able to say it outloud to someone. I WANT to be a part of destigmatizing rape/abuse victims! Afterwards, though, I feel deep shame- not about being molested- but about drawing attention to myself and making the conversation about my abuse and then I imagine that person totally repainting me in their mind as a powerless victim or an attention whore who's probably making it up or that I was just a teen slut. Sooo many negative things that I already know are my own thoughts about myself but I just use that other person as a reflector to put those nasty feelings back onto myself. I'm so frustrated. I want to be as confident as my friends think I am and I want to be a strong confident mom for my son!",5.123054945054947,6.5291305692307695,5.75701465201465,78.59596153846157,68.94871794871796,9.263736263736263,29.82600732600733,9.606745405546679,2.8200622710622696,811,31,148,18,14,263,113,195,0.236,0.647,0.117,-0.9838,2,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,13,15,5,3,9,0,17,3,0,3,2,38,32,19,0,6,8,2,3,0,1,3,1,1,0,2,14,8,0,0,10,0,0,2,3,11,0,0,2,4,25,4,29,17,3,14,0,1,0,2,9,6,0,3,6,118,39,0,0.1581402843729171,0.3747407553824806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451173621279653,0.0,0.13158538495231714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057536377830007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160011726557393,0.0,0.096400849548678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13622385228953526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398814380885139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217879142257924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264056761702978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809572731532735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690976456563028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111197355967103,0.160329427255031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593682116560619,0.0,0.15967660648906154,0.18521198976776404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125051731765664,0.0,0.10963456146542856,0.2761639931186214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050197351237714,0.0,0.0,0.15897466443441136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575950141959036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133991749764553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16532256116348049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506137804919996,0.2026598176026996,0.15537202647431167,0.1255457213509173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736687248831447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658243112586474,0.0,0.13048229639803266,0.2798257109898984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CorrectSubject3,2019/04/19,"My brother thinks he's a girl My brother said he wants to take pills to become a girl. My dad is not okay with that at all and he says it's a mental illness. My brother admitted that he is just going along with a fad. He got his friend to come over and side with him, and my dad pulled down my brother's shorts to show everyone he has a penis and not a vagina. He's still in denial and thinks taking pills to become a girl will make everything better for him.

Is my brother schizophrenic? Delusional?",2.3091154261057163,4.1057569126213584,3.537411003236248,90.08490830636462,76.96116504854369,6.519525350593313,22.124056094929887,7.3871296695380915,0.7279285868392664,394,11,83,5,9,128,57,103,0.044,0.8590000000000001,0.097,0.6591,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,7,1,5,5,1,1,1,19,16,5,0,1,3,7,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,3,3,10,0,0,3,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,2,10,3,14,13,1,10,0,0,0,1,24,6,0,0,1,49,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5269438353536233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109878468448248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20549920591513893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22795528992189254,0.21440327356296765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843116619815353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557973244640362,0.0,0.19079905070527406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924134169222467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404134106692883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269261718936728,0.1897133082324005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905151487662358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587364144003097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057205539874528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14070947790856825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Scary_Leg,2019/04/19,"Does anyone else think their mental illness isn't as big a problem as others make it out to be? I am 17 and diagnosed with schizophrenia. I take meds that make me feel like crap and sap my emotions and motivation. I only take meds because I think my family won't accept me if I don't. They are uncomfortable with me being a psychic so they use meds to suppress my powers.

Off my meds, I make things happen just by thinking about them. I can make people do things with telepathy. I understand being jealous of this power and finding it dangerous for mortals to dabble in. I get that. I see how everything is related to everything else and it makes me highly intelligent so I get medicated to confuse my speech and thinking down to the level of everyone else.

I had scary moments where spirits would follow me around trying to take over my body but all in all it's just a minor cost to having this power.

People get upset when I talk about not taking my meds. My dad walked out on the family and my mom hates me too. I take them because I don't want my aunt or brothers to hate me, but someday I will be rejected by them too and forced to make the choices that are best for me alone.",4.605381355932206,5.488451105932209,5.662500000000001,80.73663135593222,69.72033898305085,8.272881355932205,28.309322033898304,8.472884824447931,2.003657627118644,935,32,180,14,16,310,130,236,0.153,0.787,0.06,-0.9675,3,2,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,6,5,12,12,5,2,6,0,18,5,2,9,2,45,45,18,1,4,7,4,1,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,12,14,0,1,9,0,1,2,5,9,0,0,1,3,40,3,32,37,3,17,1,1,1,0,11,13,1,3,3,133,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659764836232318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521524095534864,0.09556421504677172,0.0,0.08302840443034233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371076552318075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787914204605387,0.0,0.0,0.10359986007005796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466518267235537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816195639136058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337406493177293,0.104914086054498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912168948526204,0.16764675193674802,0.0,0.17584977348240047,0.0,0.04715916593327103,0.06663076648546258,0.0,0.0,0.08524537572335955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618623601086644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247669410972322,0.0,0.0,0.1841659263582172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854289387601056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556609427525762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735431824119645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5179993003502898,0.09395782271596036,0.09399233218541496,0.0,0.0,0.10923449969146454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093461119277558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12932074738342447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924499861845246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432261943467804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506301097705982,0.07496538520947169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392639464097607,0.2390497916593016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332293397638114,0.0,0.0,0.09709540645433387,0.0,0.08055371333888924,0.0,0.0,0.05501195608181588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625499936004185,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Ifckeduphelpplease,2019/04/19,"Plz Someone help! Shared instrusive thoughts with girlfriend and seriously scared her I deal with a lot of horrible instrusive thoughts.  I know theyre not rational and stem from a place of stress and anxiety and have never acted on them, I normally highlighted how riduclious and crazy theyre are and move on but sometimed I get in a cycle of same thought poping into me and and me dismissing it so it stays on my mind for than a moment so can look down. I normally keep them to myself but my girlfriend has being encouraging me to share my whats going on generally in my head with her. It's very important Im open with her to her and so I'm trying to be. I've mentioned before to her that I have instrusive thoughts to hurt other people and myself but I feel never really got into it property.
Last night I was anxious about her and how close I am to her and so the thought to kill her kept popping into my head. Again want to make clear, I have and never would act and these thoughts and I think they are more an overreaction my mind at my ability to deal with strong emotions so in this case it was maybe my mind panicking over how close I felt to her and then trying to push her away in a weird way.  She was pressing for what was going on in my head so I told her. Its a horrible thing to tell someone but I really wanted to be open and tried to explain to her it was my fear and anxiety and it wasnt something real but I have defintely scared her a lot.  She wouldn't look at me this morning and left hers (where we were) without saying anything. Please can someone help! What should I do? I really love and would never hurt her or anyone, I'm not an agressive or violent person at all. Have I completely fucked up our relationship?",2.247544537815127,4.45801687714286,3.6635630252100846,87.13161344537819,78.8,7.203361344537815,24.008403361344534,8.219915518859313,1.5016336134453785,1377,48,280,27,34,452,169,350,0.174,0.731,0.095,-0.9856,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,2,0,3,1,13,16,3,4,10,0,26,5,3,4,6,83,53,38,1,8,10,0,3,0,2,4,0,1,0,1,17,34,0,2,11,0,0,6,9,11,0,0,17,6,56,5,50,29,5,44,1,2,2,2,39,27,1,4,9,210,73,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13314735815423928,0.09831317255917656,0.0,0.06084971356712525,0.0,0.0716139365377193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176259706997195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405163424798636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124377207882063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794373476049174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978911063127698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792701383567558,0.04400231751146693,0.0,0.08355738662441681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045295916634933,0.045466828808764,0.0,0.09891631734247522,0.0,0.06960162521218538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679374341137488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666168217254708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863235434160004,0.0,0.0940016402585354,0.0,0.0,0.07735157720274972,0.09627996825821554,0.0,0.04782651487005758,0.07093676873321457,0.0,0.0,0.09455262210608367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14615770834216169,0.0,0.0,0.14797062421118606,0.07854321511019874,0.0,0.058089682007214524,0.0,0.08742803665970766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26361050335888864,0.0,0.0,0.09249351404953884,0.0,0.0,0.26847534198032635,0.0,0.0,0.08166681244584433,0.1705315135889273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033198928112336,0.07598663619372814,0.09092231897467078,0.09552701881700196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905319312871083,0.16725080834698106,0.0,0.0,0.09343199027391637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920555699070023,0.17425386955639266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212073100626154,0.06699588761445599,0.08606968166655685,0.0,0.0,0.09275678153310744,0.0,0.0,0.09968653242862234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606344844692957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05781536268855458,0.05576193209463435,0.0,0.4145274818592444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315585740930552,0.0,0.17725223451973265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180451494891828,0.10265887916101388,0.06907617878632788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388873275375706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363974047750448,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Saberleaf,2019/04/19,"Feeling weird TW: talk of death

I feel like my whole life I've been perpetually stuck as a well-read 17 year old with social anxiety, anxiety, depression, paranoia and almost zero social skills.

The regular adult things are a real struggle like saving up, shopping wisely, relationships, chores, personal hygiene, physical health, etc. My emotional capacity has also been stuck in a 15 year olds mind. I get annoyed when people disagree with me, ticked when I'm asked to do something I don't want to but I can go above and beyond in the things I enjoy. 

I get totally consumed by what I like, even my work where I can spend 12 hours every day if the people there are nice to me but hardly survive the 8 hours if they aren't. Also, I constantly worry about angering people around me for the silliest stuff but unintentionally insulting them by saying something inappropriate.

I've been trying to fight this my whole adult life but I feel like I can never have a normal life being like this. I can't even save up for future nevermind finding a stable relationship if I can't even handle my own chores. I alternate between being overly social, spending most evenings out and detesting  and on the other hand I don't want to leave my flat the entire week and have trouble even going to work.

My work ethic is good and I never had complaints there. I never even been in a sick leave and my bosses usually give me glowing recommendations. Only one didn't because I didn't like the job.

I feel like nobody likes me and I suck at everything. I hardly call anyone a friend because I feel like nobody wants to be mine. My biggest fear is that I will need help of others because I don't know who or how to ask. At least of my weekends are spent crying about how lonely and miserable I feel. Whenever I try to do something to improve my life, regardless of how much I try, it just makes things worse. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel absolutely miserable. I really wish I could disappear forever.

I wish there was a way to fix myself because this life is hell. My friend recently ended in a psychiatric hospital and I honestly envied him. He got taken care of, he got meds, he had warm food and people to talk to and doctors all around him.

Therapy is useless, I was told by two therapists that I'm fine and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Sometimes I really think that death is the only option for this to ever end.",6.056777671121616,6.624124815845826,6.912186369342098,74.18764453961458,66.36616702355461,9.867503507346962,30.8786088754338,9.83838024301492,2.9684815624307763,1927,69,346,40,29,642,238,467,0.177,0.635,0.188,0.7774,1,2,3,0,1,0,44.0,0,0,2,5,25,37,6,4,18,0,40,10,1,5,6,67,75,30,2,12,9,0,11,9,2,1,8,1,2,3,17,20,1,0,11,2,4,3,12,16,0,3,17,13,59,21,47,53,9,41,1,5,1,0,29,16,2,7,30,238,76,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662806377397298,0.0,0.0,0.10586569782947802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127173397631982,0.0,0.06564359929848708,0.04628222512508758,0.0,0.0,0.11784789105518928,0.12375913638211765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613974639055066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758832238119017,0.0,0.06748604681763685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715288617986893,0.0,0.05284805773012292,0.0,0.07270760943638435,0.042687662807680105,0.0,0.0570101360562664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774920382419179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445586765356955,0.11725100416989452,0.0,0.07382036435812747,0.2623108411777928,0.059873469973567635,0.055768698680001456,0.0,0.05948812425563783,0.0,0.0,0.07448317887594658,0.23427679967487736,0.1891472048289288,0.0,0.0,0.060497294992783786,0.0,0.0800383142876208,0.0,0.10227786980594393,0.0,0.06916403983823871,0.06349635477438262,0.0752356420336939,0.055517797106044924,0.10587783896759996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858811298949595,0.0,0.0,0.07035784489727424,0.0,0.0,0.04436637349019755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036943158976086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568426735822654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727535890772124,0.0,0.0,0.14017323852015198,0.0,0.0,0.2337629954360864,0.29103782830245417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418294816025487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352318225693444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683395284643917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048657936805824566,0.04907972301188107,0.15315153707783552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485304071430108,0.06351196584564606,0.0,0.13891245658687326,0.0,0.044852675431223885,0.10068234346116722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835537784133066,0.0577953518045196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620882482930243,0.07533974960596278,0.08480718708975568,0.0,0.06535554088925456,0.14212853781052506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052637670430730116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20241989941913344,0.0,0.15287099501003326,0.06546450508664901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919711346702201,0.07577275892231093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064034966068502,0.0,0.0,0.0756950771857047,0.0768527512256095,0.13192290356577366,0.042412464140308005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324825356559165,0.0,0.13481785436701196,0.0,0.0646589037220824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289993887838098,0.0,0.11712334564676095,0.05253926551096932,0.053094357536125965,0.0,0.059513579661887625,0.0,0.0,0.14779958027147996,0.15223256580281125,0.0,0.0,0.1445633181701163,0.06722008475740443,0.06745419481611252,0.0,0.07236937213551095,0.0,0.08524955515662794
mentalhealth,AskinFurTrouble,2019/04/19,"Please help I went through a rather heartbreaking experience in my last relationship a few years ago, she'd always lie and go behind my back. I never actually caught her in the act of cheating, but periodically there was evidence left behind and I almost caught her after I came home from work. (long story in itself) finally I got up the courage to make the decision that I didn't love her and went through a HUGE change. I moved out, got all my stuff out of there yada yada. I am still having trouble sleeping through the night, I still wake up with that feeling of sadness and betrayal every morning. I dont have feelings toward her at all. But the physical and emotional tole it has taken on me has been extremely exhausting. I've recently noticed I'm not the person I use to be. I use to be a happy person, I use to be the one everyone would go to, when they were having a hard time to get some words of encouragement. Now I'm shut off from the world. I dont leave my house unless I have to go to work or absolutely HAVE to go to the store. I dont have my confidence anymore. People dont take into account that when you cheat. It ruins the other person's life. It haunts them, each and every day. The feeling of never being good enough for someone will run their life. How does one get over these feelings and thoughts? I need advice to start improving my life again. I'm tired of feeling like this....",3.934685099846391,5.344077286738352,5.113292370711727,82.06612903225809,71.831541218638,8.038300051203278,26.90578597030209,8.563005593585519,1.875582898105479,1109,38,218,19,21,367,163,279,0.157,0.7240000000000001,0.119,-0.9401,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,3,2,11,13,2,0,16,0,24,8,2,5,4,40,55,14,0,3,6,0,6,1,0,2,5,0,1,3,11,13,0,0,7,0,2,12,8,7,0,2,13,6,33,6,41,35,6,50,0,3,0,1,16,17,0,3,22,156,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0923948085035594,0.0,0.0,0.09252098754636794,0.08392882154992189,0.0,0.09480915030556328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787820150727966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389791777392456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280369529444146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828961847899407,0.0,0.0,0.10015973821546764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061061286935997515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285581112042645,0.0,0.44386079658999816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650316273687653,0.0,0.09783058207422957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595453247224438,0.0904715673136944,0.0,0.09261599580760878,0.0,0.0,0.2393673010370371,0.06763998651809056,0.0,0.10371819469522947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893362635575437,0.0,0.21523713522244448,0.07941376773002423,0.15144977916665908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078947826183646,0.08481540471158475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06346254828238539,0.0,0.09497256792920926,0.0,0.0,0.10924893770223708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771774935333036,0.0,0.10025330241887953,0.1028709724373498,0.0,0.20062755935337476,0.046256259158191086,0.0,0.0,0.08378953362307448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545312373967702,0.0,0.06320017302062837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006307125332649,0.0,0.0702046177386074,0.14604734850176726,0.0,0.0,0.08885152230613941,0.0,0.0,0.10779472484218047,0.0,0.0,0.12831632861663184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656397492548183,0.24801488261388946,0.0,0.10393109255839156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348587326214798,0.10165175203127833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474918305660256,0.0,0.08022273942814133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701556160171072,0.0,0.15122442749004752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838687035484572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118818272304986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516598378594415,0.055209139212980984,0.10882165805566926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24532145005776196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17554011092108207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785750840118974,0.0,0.0,0.06725852785210112,0.0,0.0,0.060971334645761766
mentalhealth,MTeaBags,2019/04/19,"Self esteem lower than Morgan Freeman’s voice. My self esteem has been at an all time low lately and I don’t know what to do. I feel like absolute trash 95% of the time (specifically about my appearance/weight) and it’s so draining. I have tried so many times in the past to take charge and eat well and exercise often and as I soon as I get into and kind of routine that voice in my head speaks up. It tells me that there’s no point in even trying. That I’m not worth it, and never will be. That I will always be a worthless fat piece of shit. 
It’s taking a toll on my mental health and Im worried it’s affecting my partner as well. He’s always so worried and when he notices me in a bad place he hugs me tight and tells me that he loves me no matter what and thinks I’m beautiful. And I know he means it, I just can’t see it. I guess I just needed to say this all and get it off my chest but I guess also if anyone has any tips on improving self esteem/confidence pls send them my way.",2.182686915887849,3.11606020093458,3.7972780373831805,91.66030957943927,75.49532710280374,6.845327102803737,20.85163551401869,7.1686216300943375,0.3039168224299069,769,16,180,8,16,257,121,214,0.085,0.826,0.08800000000000001,0.3751,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,1,0,14,10,1,0,6,0,11,9,4,1,3,34,27,23,0,2,5,0,2,1,1,2,3,4,0,4,16,14,2,1,5,1,1,1,6,4,2,0,1,7,24,6,21,22,3,23,0,2,1,2,16,13,1,4,9,113,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155562125787078,0.21133537705247046,0.0,0.0,0.08635905482888727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879590315166545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603318754273323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994473037786794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387715437155137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421107504289014,0.09072325734125994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269637245088167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797924642757029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303306406092049,0.13498677655564514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717337445289382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224284046273302,0.13958319056994548,0.0,0.14325273976012404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204197722792579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461542402253125,0.0,0.0,0.12875016466998584,0.0,0.13833174137583226,0.0,0.0,0.1279782747632517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416311163724136,0.09794421808903504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144581468230658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122843009545135,0.0,0.0,0.13267982635766284,0.0,0.1200486821793036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098929930581098,0.0,0.0,0.1011963464463516,0.0,0.3974417004897435,0.0,0.13035567453285046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190964669075224,0.0,0.2219935709056237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813714778848189,0.0,0.0,0.22215052969011656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243874377450688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080050212285123,0.0,0.1546422950095667,0.22836248869120904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579334990845012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,deckers_phising,2019/04/19,"Assistance Hey so a little background, my mother is in her late 30s and working with a city council,  with some family medical matters regarding motor neuron disease has caused some stress around general living but not enough to inhibit day to day life during weekdays she can wake according to her schedules but however for some reason on weekends she lacks the motivation to care for herself generally such as wake up on time remember to eat and socialize on the weekends.

Any advice or ideas on how to help would be greatly appreciated 

Thank you, Redditors",8.700646258503397,9.807035051020408,8.720816326530613,61.6301360544218,60.734693877551024,12.247619047619047,40.82312925170068,11.855464076750405,5.627668027210884,457,24,65,14,6,149,77,98,0.017,0.777,0.206,0.9699,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,2,4,4,0,1,4,0,5,6,3,4,0,23,7,8,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,3,18,5,5,15,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,4,7,48,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202933693120406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140594048473954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18404735229179128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21079084440483087,0.2123846076724704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666675235316345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211552288962404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136233967254733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19490128367876686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279376742165073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857716923989066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23339053567383525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332179604995465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603048043909925,0.0,0.2072133328011016,0.18256008875394528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082743684720804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125688359425743,0.0,0.0,0.23420238030497226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21075102945946605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23682630351355985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903435048114456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205549798325618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051320652690986,0.0,0.0,0.1468660910922404,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,cwhitla2,2019/04/19,"UK based, Who can I talk to? Am I (26M) depressed? Sorry for the long post and really sorry if this sounds like a mess but this is my first time opening up about this and I don't really know what I'm doing.

Basically for over a year I have been feeling sad. Every day. Some days more, some days less, but every day I will feel sad and hide this from my family and friends who have no idea because I still laugh and appear to be 'fine'. On top of this I feel like I'm constantly about to sit an exam or job interview with the same tightness in my chest and butterflies in my stomach. Every day.

I cancel plans with my family and friends, lie and say I have to work, and then lye in bed or maybe on the sofa and do nothing. Watching TV - too much effort, play video games - too much effort, play music - too much effort. I don't get enjoyment from things I know I enjoy, I feel weighed down by this blanket of lethargy and apathy. I am tired no matter how many hours of sleep I get per day and have earned a reputation of being lazy when really I just find it hard to motivate myself to do anything.

Worst part is I have a GF (27F) who I have been with for over 10 year and could not love more, I have a job, a puppy, a family that I know loves me. I have no excuse to feel so miserable, so why do I? I haven't spoken to anyone I know about this as I am a major emotional introvert and really don't want anyone to feel responsible. 

I had an especially bad day about a week ago which has prompted me to want to get better but I don't even know what's wrong with me. I'm afraid that if I speak to my GP that they will tell me that there's nothing wrong with me. Am I blowing normal feelings out of proportion?",3.355344506517689,3.8463162430167617,4.895097765363129,86.53536545623838,72.32402234636871,8.313035381750465,23.57588454376164,8.472884824447931,1.1735359404096828,1317,31,296,21,24,445,178,358,0.2,0.669,0.131,-0.9809,2,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,1,10,15,23,0,2,14,0,33,7,3,2,0,56,56,27,0,6,9,0,9,2,3,2,1,3,2,0,19,21,1,1,15,5,0,1,9,10,0,1,3,13,42,13,43,48,12,34,0,4,1,2,16,12,0,7,21,200,61,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958060578650067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554629988111726,0.0,0.07387762591777605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495883192861612,0.05472634026553348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939917590633512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701547310292856,0.0,0.07167846928262886,0.0,0.0,0.4052846066837431,0.0,0.07732354719591468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009854070658852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05929590218773535,0.0,0.2269193113404532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538971880526032,0.0,0.31775249858532945,0.06413566880953539,0.0,0.0,0.08205322365803251,0.07636303452913415,0.0,0.0,0.13872073003355415,0.0,0.1407120540831704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804212565162774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841083001877352,0.0,0.0,0.10134566519555667,0.0,0.0,0.17817675586987636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24669146435345465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771959518189239,0.0,0.0,0.07944853414063979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205187271710547,0.0,0.0,0.09101831396316,0.09019160374837837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979860705479297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796097503646698,0.17228411746725986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721816898140846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859801578996983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300500573096491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139311840646248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984038195908038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20099274996530253,0.0,0.0,0.07169486790790006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215818414790283,0.07846778521131229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059642884381253015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052348843488847566,0.10318378491243874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590388740606294,0.0,0.07201252873225067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810084675940783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535766753414221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19631093517601989,0.0,0.11562501789293132
mentalhealth,vouch01,2019/04/19,"How to help a teenage boy Hello, basically regarding a teenage boy seemingly suffering from depression. 

​

What sort of things can I do / say to help out. He also has mild learning difficulties though. He is 18. 

​

I want to get him involved in more things and to do things with me but he isn't interested and if I push he becomes angry and aggressive. I'm a family member",2.221369863013696,5.1153742191780855,3.9063150684931536,80.05837671232878,87.63013698630138,7.851506849315069,27.84794520547945,8.548686976883017,2.932546301369863,310,15,55,9,10,103,52,73,0.2,0.736,0.064,-0.8857,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,0,12,10,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,5,1,9,10,1,3,0,2,0,0,12,2,0,3,0,36,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897812008758846,0.0,0.4036958954561857,0.4527317848143019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574553376779384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045353820423758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562007797326049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733019140308144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497359977098463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814734795762466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16959378088458466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712935648217619,0.0,0.18303152771076006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098801985948194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4527317848143019,0.0
mentalhealth,QueenKaity,2019/04/19,"This has never happened before and I’m honestly super scared. Please help. ‪Okay so I don’t know whats going on and its super scaring me. Basically I keep having hallucinations?? The first time it happend was a week ago. I got out of bed, made food... except I never ACTUALLY got out of bed... The second time this happened, I was laying on my friends floor. I clearly and vividly remember standing up and getting on my PS4....‬
‪Except I was still laying in the floor. I even shortly AFTER realizing I was in the floor, I got up and I remember having a conversation with him...‬
‪He was in a totally different part of the house.
And it just happened again now. Just letting my thoughts wonder. Open my eyes. Sitting on his back porch smoking. Wondering why it was hitting so smooth? As if I wasn’t smoking?‬

‪Spoiler: Its cause I wasn’t‬
‪I am at my house, 5 miles away, with no cigarettes remotely near me.‬
‪I swear I am not on any drugs.‬
‪Please‬

‪What the HELL is going on????‬",1.8177432712215311,4.491355407407409,3.4729836668967127,84.79910973084887,84.87301587301587,6.038279273061883,27.265010351966872,7.423996415210882,1.826249413388544,768,36,143,13,23,254,117,189,0.076,0.805,0.119,0.8413,1,0,2,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,3,9,7,1,2,9,0,15,2,1,2,4,30,32,10,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,8,11,1,1,7,0,0,2,6,3,0,2,12,3,21,4,23,18,2,37,1,0,2,0,4,21,1,3,12,100,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.13084734907918805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885801798836396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118221056623037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597701239113507,0.10310287652232797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409622467420945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774194731582146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400899985393133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856169589578118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405239809382695,0.1621357810022073,0.0,0.10359352547479628,0.0,0.07005373436616112,0.0,0.1524068777423281,0.0,0.32171940897235085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557120369471019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987416439355689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30943153884028857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918066388479978,0.0,0.0,0.0736894579223536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711071523673388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687420827852852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20682881106641807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520069008507305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718476252532492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037837090243051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684844008259979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708023412553706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064482937798516,0.1563717621793462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755467806324917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099060824364885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29081832792261103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,yeti_b,2019/04/19,"I hate being just a friend I’m a heavier guy but people seem to love being around me. I love having friends and people I can count on no matter what. I don’t have very much self esteem and confidence to flirt with women to begin with but whenever I find a woman I can see myself with long term they always want to keep me as a friend but nothing more then that. I hate it. I hate it so much. I just can’t seem to get away from it. They’ll never know how much I go through mentally to spit some game just to be shot down for some more feminine looking guy who bangs them once and walks away, and the first person they cry to is me. I fucking hate it. Because I would never do that shit to them.",1.4474428274428277,3.0538237027027044,2.8824324324324344,94.67420997920999,78.86486486486487,5.634927234927236,18.81704781704782,6.297961479604792,-0.2242625779625782,540,11,124,4,13,176,89,148,0.14300000000000002,0.6629999999999999,0.194,0.8242,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,5,1,6,12,6,0,5,0,13,5,2,1,2,27,31,11,0,2,6,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,6,8,8,0,1,4,1,0,2,5,6,0,1,0,2,21,6,21,26,8,14,0,0,2,3,18,5,2,4,7,91,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065757731768806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402151373851628,0.0,0.0,0.2406774207367924,0.0,0.0,0.07807854253176755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069376403796624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706604319176785,0.10894780119424297,0.0,0.0,0.2968710962785897,0.1184111769726964,0.06691836780459523,0.0,0.07279283248058753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536457011960668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5058239489604379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138465432742342,0.0,0.0,0.0703913687569419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334991015091335,0.10755792234219176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23120080705019824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907809163773293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282468437592743,0.0,0.19757185789963125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289961952459785,0.0,0.0,0.1364047992978048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17759401105708486,0.11183761441628676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020660053760679,0.2332049047269677,0.13361907540263845,0.0,0.1314759222530266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056823417703605,0.07554699562398375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098687818473418,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,CakeWithoutJake,2019/04/19,"We are trying to cope with our problems. And we might have a solution...  

We’re a bunch of people all around the globe who have experienced a range of mental health issues. Our experiences range from mild anxiety and depression to dropping out of school and university due to agoraphobia and extreme anxiety.

In our lives, we’ve been trying various things to get better and thought working on something together would be good for us.

Counter-intuitively we’re all quite optimistic about the future for humans so our experiment is a YouTube channel that discusses the future, history, economics, current events and other things to help educate others.

Alex – The Director of the Initiative

Jake - Community Manager

We’ve found it helpful in motivated us, getting us on track and boosting our moods and have had some great positive feedback.

We thought we’d put the word out and ask if anyone else would like to be involved in our little collective to see if it might help you too.

Getting involved would be as easy as PMing me, hearing about how we’ve done things so far and then saying what you might be interested in helping with. Maybe putting ideas out for topics or getting involved in research and/or script writing.

It's all about flexibility and to do whatever makes you feel better about yourself.",9.02682317682318,9.464337636363636,8.350389610389609,66.84338661338663,60.08225108225109,11.783016983016985,40.71295371295371,11.362043627235082,4.969478588078587,1058,53,167,27,13,333,141,231,0.039,0.7829999999999999,0.17800000000000002,0.9867,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,13,3,0,5,9,9,0,0,10,0,20,1,0,3,3,44,32,20,0,6,3,0,1,1,0,6,1,4,0,1,11,20,0,0,6,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,6,7,17,6,35,15,6,22,0,1,1,0,30,13,0,7,7,117,28,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16576325906866338,0.0,0.0,0.07575551609966506,0.1110095788265859,0.0,0.09644769437958252,0.10128550672895524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916400739605448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933151391961389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087187760842022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050616217487707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211959287585428,0.0,0.0,0.05478116620853617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879183525795199,0.0,0.0,0.2264177022311501,0.0,0.0,0.09087245397380764,0.0,0.11944786418645507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516289109799173,0.12210974427139258,0.0,0.29047847307570895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230536747993785,0.0,0.11308130382693594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293061771912426,0.10858753437371092,0.095668312674962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231938463716032,0.0,0.10884448998154078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091836437281964,0.3448024543106823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075110969590171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366903243190843,0.0,0.2178280466731474,0.0,0.11523546473795325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615821471389322,0.0,0.10964827980170376,0.08633485532941601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340726266836965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159336034078076,0.0,0.0,0.17202350668476712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711473802911212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3909676552644234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887454811185482,0.0,0.0,0.2308899697605717,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Danipda,2019/04/19,"Why can't I stand people making noise around my unit? I hate hearing people talking, making noise, playing music near my unit where I live. I turn the tv up really loud to cover them up and I spent about an hour whistling loudly today to annoy my neighbour to hopefully make them stop talking and also to cover their noise up. 

At work I am a lot more tolerant, but I can't concentrate when people played music at work. At home it makes me angry to hear other people.

Why am I like this? Do I feel unsafe?",3.3494306930693085,4.909322297029707,4.638700495049509,84.29191212871288,73.55445544554456,6.6341584158415845,21.53589108910891,7.1686216300943375,0.7297613861386134,396,9,75,4,8,131,66,101,0.101,0.7829999999999999,0.116,-0.1515,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,3,2,5,6,2,0,3,0,5,0,0,4,0,12,16,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,0,1,1,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,16,4,14,15,2,14,0,0,0,0,8,9,0,2,5,49,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290200652574894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436229383656346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815761549156509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928555818862658,0.0,0.0,0.3636740180913288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183281677499445,0.1602427089116858,0.15888312188132747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882045180271376,0.0,0.14246233943949055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716180472166753,0.0,0.0,0.4307712108287501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4473993173367502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335575202317958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488383196641562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593509768943929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292733674498796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548686427087193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29116066951156216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349085571191078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheManlyMan01,2019/04/19,"Do I need help? I have this strange feeling when I see a knife that something might just take over me and make me stab the people around me. Sometimes I have the fear that someone else might do something like that but mainly the feeling and the fear is of me actually doing it. I don't know how to describe it but it's like a temptation to just get violent. 

It's serious and very disturbing, but I don't know what it means nor what to do. Do I need to seek help? And if so, what kind of help do I need?",1.725752855659394,3.196730775700935,3.162554517133959,93.5640394600208,77.69158878504672,6.6247144340602295,24.038421599169265,7.3871296695380915,0.7812334371754939,391,13,92,5,9,128,56,107,0.189,0.667,0.14300000000000002,-0.8166,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,1,3,6,0,13,0,0,2,0,23,25,12,0,4,6,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,3,12,3,8,23,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,3,3,66,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.16834023077093332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356623748328604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410599323969175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3882327102626594,0.17444766582978724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012686838942573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3468798798178155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963766239714365,0.1896087378052514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855469408738494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151485877114582,0.0,0.0,0.18790877879762072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660015992717076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837313505827671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11959341348574395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746434253185133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461631306686404,0.2656059243127573,0.1706120940281257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970247248577735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233488981136694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SonOfTheSerpent,2019/04/19,"A numbness maybe I don't really know the best way to explain this but for my whole life, I have never really felt anything interesting(I'm 18f ).  I feel the normal stuff like being tired, and hungry, but to my knowledge, I've never felt sad or happy.  I've been angry a few times but that's very rare.  
I've been seeing a few therapists over the years.  The newest therapist I've had for a few months have said I could have some kind of depression.  Which I don't think is the case because I'm never sad about anything.  The only times I ever self-harm is when I'm really bored.  

I don't know if that made sense or if it was too far on the rambling side.  But I guess I was wondering if anyone has or knows of something like this that could tell me what it is?
I could go into more details on it if anyone is curious",4.745207100591717,4.5761926627218985,5.803366863905327,83.55605621301777,69.11834319526629,8.8901775147929,25.77573964497041,8.548686976883017,1.5008575147928984,636,15,136,9,10,212,97,169,0.105,0.759,0.136,0.6667,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,4,10,0,0,11,0,20,3,0,1,4,34,36,13,0,8,11,0,3,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,11,2,0,0,10,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,9,5,13,5,11,23,7,18,0,3,1,0,3,6,0,10,12,91,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18627966687104527,0.0,0.21923226026125012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120035750466857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979012962971551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190593763202446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472902528056853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049129024097033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735230592784912,0.0,0.2557948301242405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570330886742986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674001048585886,0.0,0.0,0.1417988953543229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871221189902752,0.2196174822031701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408642907492328,0.13015419000017486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12604152147068784,0.0,0.0,0.1338220394923815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632273214492896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30820706254444324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051233802159895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130818769545333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560030527376282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670818691695893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061469112623114,0.0,0.13896156793299566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254749689810616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248752897899262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164267915750056,0.0,0.0,0.3093218802194045,0.0,0.0853522023831366,0.0,0.0,0.1553454802797209,0.15309922393717326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990783966276442,0.0,0.10573170207980837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871830655419194,0.0,0.0,0.14445483057698272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577946875156535
mentalhealth,iamtonystrk,2019/04/19,"The Artidote This art helps me heal .

Hope it help other heal too.

##### [The Artidote](https://www.facebook.com/theartidote/?__tn__=kC-R&eid=ARArUr9w-fcRTJ5LTV13aHpSR2C4AxQzlQIY5tWOPnzYLR8Bv8vKpEHd7apZ9oj1zrKfT_sN0mwKEU6a&hc_ref=ART5dWmcQyRhEFDYPGf7DAexlZ1LbhP9b0-Rkqie6sRGbAnuTqRpYg8SK7WjVC8N2Xc&fref=nf&__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARBGoFUDuCIG73ydtH00wO-5E7jW3Ug4GW8Q7-yULC5Qn0dirpEJQ33fPCoYHLYPXjgptUFiV0OI_-RSZ2j-VzNLup17iOlEnmZSFxien2_CiA6fx8JaljWH34raXjRZimvuq33tDqJb_WVWIHbso6lqII4Zgh4jZSvjQxnt9_dNqXcmm6w5VWgDFnb-Iw6JEBWWEHEarMn4LGQQvIl5cxxakWp3tSTdItkOFfHVGdFvsuL65cSLoMXZifxehV971W247yukvRujhiFeD4E2fLlnTMTtQiBQQPYWtlYnHFhEoNXHGDQJXm2GGtU0MPJ2SKn-fn11-vgxYA4u9vNIYtMURQ)

[https://www.instagram.com/theartidote/?hl=en](https://www.instagram.com/theartidote/?hl=en)",106.85785714285713,135.57178335714286,38.42971428571428,-170.48471428571423,-123.85714285714286,12.240000000000002,48.457142857142856,9.888512548439397,8.588820000000002,746,12,16,7,5,123,24,28,0.0,0.616,0.384,0.8290000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,67.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9332382295855172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28866181572535304,0.0,0.0,0.2138709026076991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,salty_soup,2019/04/19,"Lost files... lost memories I played in a band in high school, and I lost the only recordings of many of our songs when I replaced my laptop since then (I've learned the value of cloud backups, and do use them now). This is a hard fact for me to accept - that that sensory experience of that event is entirely in the past. It's almost nostalgia, but a lot of feeling of loss. The inability to fully, immersively look back on those positive experiences is gone. How do you cope with things like this?",4.56151785714286,5.928684854166673,5.491904761904763,80.11500000000002,70.25,9.235714285714286,28.29761904761905,9.606745405546679,2.500736904761905,390,14,77,9,7,128,71,96,0.122,0.733,0.146,0.5346,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,1,4,4,7,0,0,7,0,5,0,0,2,1,12,12,6,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,4,0,0,4,4,8,3,14,8,1,12,0,4,1,0,4,5,0,2,7,51,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19868560710365926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525701512179583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881791007563738,0.0,0.0,0.10032541663759097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17774233945301954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096380775430508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693634953555864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16662000791664705,0.0,0.6497856146738887,0.16868673474122134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20116333364683348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090479827422001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894111374015052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20080823604275416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641322977711938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318192013016384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713682736430148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,pastelcupid,2019/04/19,"something i've recently realized about proper mental health. these past two years have been such a pleasure working with my therapist(s). although i'm still young, and still have a lot to learn, i've noticed that the amount of self awareness you have is important for upping your well being. with this and a genuine desire to get better, you're pretty much set. but, the thing is, it's not as easy as it sounds. through therapy, i've learned that you could have perceptions and beliefs that you don't even know are unhealthy, hence the self awareness part. it sounds confusing, which is why it's always best to seek out a professional, because they can offer you the outside perspective. i'm just lucky that i was paired with a therapist who was great at her job, and i'm aware that not all therapists are that great. what's your opinion?",7.380182841068919,7.521818481012659,6.417426160337553,80.32117440225036,63.55696202531646,9.8070323488045,34.0112517580872,9.444778638647367,2.9547192686357246,672,26,125,11,9,203,105,158,0.059,0.753,0.188,0.968,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,6,1,3,7,8,0,1,9,0,16,1,0,0,1,25,21,8,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,16,8,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,1,1,1,3,2,10,7,15,16,6,10,1,0,0,0,12,3,0,4,6,86,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523842835638638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09175100178543263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579535463560548,0.13311604421193285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017195615891507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941206375391656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786365508989818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318810484980029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15998771223737315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14936039726591666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827177146380452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127960315544309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168116402141255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106439801150893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135943923076122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299033248907766,0.14368117888276571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312528732590835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14861290143514636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31403465352461674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587184909190615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24039889828214775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17212412125831672,0.5242697185659356,0.09999379393544312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702880819297662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353287820436202,0.0,0.13581408913507195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095748672672245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096925092849817
mentalhealth,Acrosthemult,2019/04/19,"Homicidal. I was supposed to hang out with my friends today but I slept in. I feel like such a shitty friend. I tried killing myself in eighth grade because of depression. I can't stand sex. There's no love in it. Parents shouldn't have sex. You don't love your children. You want to see them die so you can fuck more. I sliced my face open an hour ago. I carved ""Fuck You"" and ""Bitch"" on my wall with a knife. I just got a job. How can I keep it when they see that I have urges of self-harm? I have sudden urges to go outside with my knife and just stab anyone I see. I'm 20. My empathy has finally disintegrated. I have no kindness. I wanna be mocked and feel miserable. Why do my parents care about me? My aunt, uncle, grandparents never see me. They don't care. ""They love you!"" Yeah, okay. Sure.",-0.6310975609756078,1.5591174024390249,0.9988878048780484,99.58513658536587,97.53658536585364,4.331317073170732,16.31609756097561,6.152001189255117,-0.5182289756097562,610,16,142,7,25,195,102,164,0.232,0.539,0.228,-0.5924,4,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,0,6,4,0,8,18,5,1,4,2,14,9,2,1,2,20,33,7,2,3,3,3,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,1,2,0,0,2,7,7,0,0,3,6,34,11,15,28,1,17,0,2,4,7,19,7,3,0,8,85,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544553697929375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895138927820114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626693744879656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885703127475229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188766098562018,0.0,0.14687143125041224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310964486026825,0.10109917276733116,0.0,0.15502403569823636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186700678794121,0.2616588185668514,0.0,0.0,0.08042689479979223,0.0,0.11318340066085847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936491104685006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043295220251178,0.12578606501785247,0.15656666334677086,0.14736730323619113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913764737303231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831715778722904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914598655664844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31427389608123474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45108022849393503,0.0,0.14763221809673924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337730574412082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414077234720848,0.0,0.0,0.09608018307292356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346989754947179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769632270043213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Samael-the-Accuser,2019/04/19,"I just need help God damn it I just want to be happy. Why does every problem i encounter, no matter how small, feel like a daunting mountain I'm trying to climb with no equipment? I'm still unable to show my true emotion to anyone but myself. I have to cry and scream silently to myself because I know that no one actually cares to listen. My anxieties and depression are brushed off because I seem to have such a good life to others. I cry so hard my nose bleeds, I cry so hard I get migraines, I cry so hard that I nearly vomit. I just want help. Why am I so jealous of others, it seems that everyone else is attaining a happiness I cannot personally achieve. I do not have the money to pay for therapy. I don't have the courage to tell my mother about the toxic treatment that I receive in the relationship I feel pressured to stay in. I also cant tell her about my worsening mental health. I just do not want to be a burden on anyone. I just want to die and embrace the sweet blackness of non-existance",2.8327941176470586,4.53242335784314,4.418431372549018,84.7579411764706,75.22549019607844,6.956862745098039,26.70588235294117,7.724431198458867,1.5655176470588232,791,30,157,11,17,265,115,204,0.285,0.5539999999999999,0.161,-0.9876,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,3,15,15,2,1,9,0,14,6,1,1,1,26,29,10,1,6,8,1,5,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,8,4,0,0,5,1,2,2,8,7,0,1,0,11,29,8,25,27,0,10,0,1,1,0,10,6,1,2,2,108,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.11347313810903405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298959165875012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895437693331251,0.0,0.0,0.1626122645456881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176720666882436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11855586965182123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5109153238937549,0.0,0.0,0.10015235115761648,0.0,0.12068095358190838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175797807992634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713756003743423,0.13080007729898535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797146051871036,0.11111114162147026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758997826513624,0.08307091768651491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060751838923188015,0.0,0.0,0.09753069008244808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24756582262524546,0.31249386048266475,0.0,0.0,0.12360089058356832,0.0,0.0,0.15588093362888322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390480277091885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213246003645644,0.05680885072306289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718354300849472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08622062660845327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879477599760562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153177609489307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126487545035382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484189841495437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117150682670606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393969842133515,0.09286187516356344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20326882208681146,0.0,0.1329770541807415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894692667490569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27434135409165705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098503958352076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,corn_dude,2019/04/19,"Why is my mind blank most of the time? Even writing this post i don't know what to say my mind is just empty not matter what i do or who I'm around. When someone ask me a question about something or ask's me to tell a story i can only come up with mumbled garbage and can never get my point across, i can't even make small talk or express how i feel so i usually stay quite which makes me feel awkward. My condition seems to be getting worse since now even doing everyday task that takes any amount of thought i do them poorly. I really wish i can explain how i feel into full detail but i just can't think of the words to explain it.",3.4795555555555566,3.960382140740741,4.419999999999998,90.09000000000002,72.03703703703705,7.185185185185183,26.11111111111111,6.937597516519254,0.9345555555555554,499,15,112,4,9,162,92,135,0.048,0.935,0.017,-0.2,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,12,1,0,1,4,0,12,0,0,4,1,34,31,9,0,1,7,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,10,0,1,1,5,1,0,0,1,4,19,0,13,29,3,16,0,0,0,0,12,7,0,6,6,74,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165910161560537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616950172993542,0.3070027157470239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144055715578252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253502851006672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249067719671118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17157155974985247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023798193809376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192045851552689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315828734391542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663829429275256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12487867067412407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521855848050034,0.0,0.15725464916108628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839374128128106,0.1746429561713809,0.0,0.0,0.1051883420995776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057547301344907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494781274483433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358248604070912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912297606072366,0.1264063190241936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501138854381632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345516883846396,0.13197475102938058,0.14351478684474114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521034691447018,0.0,0.13035350621751932,0.095744171887084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808390060540924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481616045116464,0.0,0.18881761982525272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733003802754093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,iMainLucina,2019/04/19,"I lost a lot of friends because of my illness I have ADHD and Bipolar Disorder 2, albeit only being 18. I don’t think it’s a properly set-in-stone diagnosis yet, but I find myself using it to justify inexcusable behavior I had. Oh, I’m impulsive? Illness. I’m majorly depressed and cannot function? Illness. I used to look at the idea of having a diagnosis as step one, but everyday I just wish it were gone. I can’t deny the uncanny resemblance of my personality to that of someone who legitimately has the illness, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if my prescribed medicine is helping me out because I still keep on making the same mistakes. I get very impatient when I say I want to change that it sets me back by three steps. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I would also like to point out that I have a psychiatrist, but I’m not sure if this is sufficient. What more can I do to help the people trying to help me change? As for the people who left me, I also don’t know how to cope. Again, any advice would be greatly appreciated and I hope you wouldn’t take my words against me. 

TLDR I am uncertainly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 and ADHD. I lost important people because of my impulsiveness and quick-temperedness. How can I possibly change my attitude when it is so embedded in my personality?",4.073038461538463,5.646188688461543,6.272307692307693,73.24769230769233,71.73076923076924,9.661538461538463,31.84615384615385,10.008157457239328,3.448715384615385,1049,49,195,29,20,370,138,260,0.159,0.708,0.133,-0.7234,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,2,12,11,0,1,10,0,27,7,0,5,1,41,47,20,0,10,8,0,0,1,1,4,7,1,0,2,13,8,0,1,6,0,0,3,8,5,0,2,5,2,36,6,26,35,4,18,0,3,1,0,10,7,0,5,8,141,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618744628367716,0.21293017709438536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17425522149710493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818004204097254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377614713851837,0.0,0.19924549262802316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457652911225983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383883627788836,0.1105823819435998,0.0,0.0,0.2497332384972029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957870920497396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417482349190261,0.0,0.05692209718892994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24023644325442944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21908150793122044,0.0,0.0,0.10821234929223934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299176161258668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684013841764197,0.0,0.0,0.1796289030245583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837494907833168,0.0,0.0,0.05322767144774205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149091213460823,0.0,0.2378645050767301,0.09262575016923348,0.0,0.0,0.07272525072721449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382762360471949,0.0828617031785535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265975072886291,0.19026260699516934,0.0,0.0,0.1029933618862522,0.12282522737333025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664174617516628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09231333650038108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870079453872975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268448057580658,0.0,0.08191715607580287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981102929970485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397018283904301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18819636204045714,0.0,0.08989550592405632,0.06426177996147675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12528760503600542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232185755250584,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,gage_bloomy,2019/04/19,"My rant to my depression and overall self doubt Hello, I’ve had this depression for a while now, I’m 15 and it seems stupid that I feel so sad while being so young. I hope the 3 people that see this can try to help me, this is kinda my last resort to find happiness

The main thing that makes me so mad at myself is I don’t really have a reason to be this fucking sad. Like I have a great support system, I have an amazing friend that’s like a brother to me, an actual brother that is always there for me. A girlfriend that actually cares about me (I think, I’ll talk about that later) and parents who care. Like sure my mom drinks heavily and I have some family issues but everyone does, I’m not special. I’m liked at school for the most part and stuff like that, but no matter what I always have that underlying feeling of no self worth. The feeling that I am nothing and will amount to nothing. Sure I have those moments when I’m happy but those never last. 

The next thing I wanna talk about is my self doubt about my girlfriend and I. Now, I know I’m just 15 and relationships don’t matter at my age, but she really is special to me, and I really care about her. And I think she cares about me, but there’s this little voice in my head that tells me that she doesn’t care about me, and she’s just using me as a stepping stone to go onto someone better. And because of that I feel like I never have her full trust and she doesn’t have mine, and I’m scared that it’s gonna ruin the best thing in my life. It’s stupid. I think this is coming from when I was younger, I was pretty fucking fat and ugly (now I’m not fat and not as ugly, puberty did me well) no one liked me and always made fun of me, so as like a self defense tactic I made fun of myself. And sure that kinda cut down on the other kids making fun of me, it made me start to believe that I was worthless and I should just kill myself. The bullying on myself from me and other kids got so bad my family had to move across the state. 

I just want to be happy, and usually talking doesn’t help me but I’m running out of options, everyday I wake up it gets harder to get up and want to live. I don’t think I would actually go that far to end my life because I don’t want to be that big of a burden on my family and others but I’m not sure. I did use to self harm but realized that it doesn’t help, and it pushes depression on others. And I hate doing that. That’s why I don’t really use my support system like I should. I’m scared that me talking about how sad I am will make them sad. Almost everyone I mentioned has depression, my whole family has very bad depression and my mom is especially bad, she’ll start to think she did bad as a mom and start drinking more, and doing bad stuff drunk people do (don’t really wanna go into detail but just trust me when I say she’s a bad drunk) which in return makes me sadder. So, I’m coming to you reddit, please give me support. Love you all.<3",3.2003858604651154,3.839073862400003,4.7106046511627895,87.17809302325583,72.77600000000002,7.669953488372093,23.01488372093023,7.82057824672937,0.889840558139535,2304,53,509,29,43,775,226,625,0.224,0.593,0.183,-0.9944,1,0,2,0,0,2,59.0,0,2,1,2,30,71,9,4,21,0,51,13,4,12,6,101,113,53,1,9,18,6,4,9,3,7,4,2,0,7,49,32,6,1,14,4,1,9,19,32,1,1,12,7,89,39,62,90,9,58,0,11,1,3,44,22,2,10,33,349,138,1,0.0,0.0,0.15741926466037956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05384424718914161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342262306950375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26938102443506085,0.06555704077828693,0.0,0.0,0.06058190628176955,0.056429722172161516,0.04755639594570328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741174127605517,0.0,0.0,0.09263852633384666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315659567243564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047055677227847564,0.0,0.0,0.10535091858351238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04762546248038417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276167265137444,0.0,0.0,0.20276340094972167,0.0,0.10875365581905963,0.038414268477380976,0.0,0.0,0.049146046522019315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041543617348970135,0.09942150692996901,0.056186629831074766,0.05158238572638134,0.09167850473173124,0.0,0.04300586662736916,0.05928311137355501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172182951026274,0.0,0.053088083123384575,0.055184925739148065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812542226008376,0.0,0.0,0.05340709068267128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612332689829076,0.0,0.0,0.059490040084225586,0.0,0.029551331789785425,0.08766166611244768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596059989259922,0.23642972220701786,0.053893026366782164,0.047481093729535136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048530749436043456,0.15263927555373394,0.1435711944491312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892909174573985,0.0,0.05715044321141461,0.0,0.0,0.0829435714665025,0.0,0.0571864486277662,0.0,0.0,0.10319013531191247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03643686339435337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05970672899213957,0.05822914009397495,0.0,0.07455657756490454,0.0,0.0,0.05902480320006855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054704801637409935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17223654225415724,0.055285911023909,0.0,0.05773031448906792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042761141636298884,0.10766901851213123,0.05441948441419042,0.04284881005426895,0.0489514242746721,0.2804762643771093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045560296638429774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417893060233204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231106790986884,0.0,0.18305729750670127,0.20271547200235865,0.0,0.0,0.17287752105179394,0.046998536444429584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716990167472347,0.17227257317882427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03650722203645813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13932356481559666,0.05922155342642396,0.04436700125495757,0.09514721930388564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04834690799157075,0.0,0.04852028646246035,0.0600338002618424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03819762952810468,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,disenchantedchaos,2019/04/19,"I cry whenever I have to talk about myself? :/ Any thoughts welcome. The thing is, whenever the topic of myself comes up, especially in a group setting, I can’t help but cry. It’s something completely uncontrollable and it makes me feel like such a weak person. Add to that the embarrassment of it all. Confrontation does the same thing to me, but only when it’s specifically aimed at me (more importantly my personal thoughts or actions, not petty stuff or conflict). 

I’ll present some examples. The very first time I can recall was years and years ago in middle school (yeesh). I remember feeling extremely overwhelmed in a specific advanced english class, and I had finally mustered up the courage to speak to the counselor. I asked straightforwardly if it was possible to switch out. Was all good until he asked why. I guess I just didn’t know how to talk about my emotions, and so I tried my very best to explain that it was just too much for me and the teacher wasn’t exactly the best for me, but it hardly came out as my voice started cracking and tears started flowing. (btw he said I should “give it a shot.” Ended the year with an F in that class :’))

Mind you, I was a 13 year old girl going through it. Alright, fine, emotions were screwy. But, it didn’t stop. Skip to a few years later in high school, and (yes, I realize you’re still a hormonal, emotional mess at this point) a similar thing happened. I had missed a lot of school and was at a really low place mentally. A lot was going on in my home life and school was the interference.  I go to the nurse one day feeling sick, and the nurse asks me if everything about my physical being has been okay. We work up to the point that maybe I’m stressed out cause I’m not sleeping right, stomach problems, whatever. Then a more personal question comes up and I immediately start crying. Usually I try my best not to cry in any place that’s not home, but this is the type that I have absolutely zero control over and really feel so shit that I don’t care if I’m crying in public. 

Or Christmas Day last year. We were going around the room and everybody had to say what they were grateful for. Okay, no big deal, palms a little sweaty. This is happening with family that is not super close. Gets to me, I say something generic like family and “you guys” and safety. One annoying uncle probes for more. I delve into some more personal info. Ok, starting to lose it mentally but composure is still held. Then, he asks how I feel about what I just shared. I try to croak something out but I practically start sobbing and I dig my face into my mother’s arms. Very embarrassed, they try to console me, not very effective. 

This was already too much, and I could provide many more examples. Like crying during a mock interview (not even a real one). Embarrassed myself in a room full of mentally stable people also getting mock interviews and highly professional volunteers that were giving them. 

Love my brain!! Truly feel that I have no control over my emotions right now.",4.61378999049731,6.300807862369338,5.244765600253405,80.69560579664238,70.55052264808361,8.772188786822934,29.24754513778904,9.279504587578698,2.5917574912891985,2379,93,445,51,44,766,279,574,0.17,0.682,0.14800000000000002,-0.9555,0,0,3,0,0,0,81.0,2,2,3,11,21,36,5,6,33,5,35,11,7,7,3,96,77,41,0,6,23,1,7,3,0,1,3,5,4,6,31,34,0,6,15,0,0,10,14,18,0,5,25,12,57,18,60,49,19,84,0,5,0,1,40,42,2,12,34,298,88,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050687490027873934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310063501917544,0.045727610274708536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777005652656549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090319663833057,0.21382599548085865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800237370046554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383288627917531,0.0,0.06539980968887311,0.058299821587693736,0.05874061926284304,0.0,0.09851270488474713,0.059953171225863834,0.0,0.12826666597835285,0.04565436089697145,0.0,0.3768637392256745,0.07375400525114137,0.05895108115422574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05003946227721018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572836315091803,0.05064537742560684,0.0,0.0,0.03776749901726004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139057915278383,0.0,0.1078102808285366,0.0,0.17347453416245714,0.04085010463398354,0.0,0.06263897028741759,0.0,0.04863811368284735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597494055882329,0.109706415751944,0.12998907817056035,0.04796069437835738,0.0,0.0,0.06299129780178503,0.05661816170087024,0.10112990625681403,0.0,0.05122292796606703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03832720659962455,0.12082969289116148,0.11471437346394756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03142517203983998,0.046610131795056416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04038861830077462,0.08380721776534028,0.057310365481029274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0639708920091678,0.0,0.09722645137980204,0.05160806833000965,0.0,0.03816874919228493,0.05797254036666505,0.05744598159831256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17287494083100752,0.0,0.05773649088494912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406920151273377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000182124467302,0.0,0.11624193883087425,0.04348871313116347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03964209283942751,0.1997129100127352,0.11948391070531693,0.0,0.10810902015455087,0.06446296508048595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054714476868863715,0.0,0.0,0.06405578580171588,0.0,0.0,0.06508447549695953,0.07326320194821054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477490531310838,0.0976644915988192,0.054392207752905736,0.09094522318653266,0.0,0.23148082424176145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869545583300693,0.0,0.0,0.057222276956124064,0.0,0.0,0.13206213958718646,0.0,0.0,0.2023649651972413,0.0,0.0913296114352491,0.04780586095821626,0.06550062115409942,0.0,0.06545854342772932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919198139616761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396550996679712,0.0,0.0,0.0907906243225197,0.033342690170395727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15528853201653478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297677269270241,0.18872119297320664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051596941902705584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04162843557976393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22093606413894107
mentalhealth,hufflepuff_puff,2019/04/19,"Huge rant Disclaimer: This may be triggering and I understand that what I feel isn’t the absolute truth nor do I think it’s the only way of dealing with mental health

  For a long time, ever since I was maybe 12 I’ve had this idea that the solution to my problems would be death wether it be by suicide or be it external forces. I have lived thinking that taking my life would be the fast and easy way to stop feeling so worthless and incompetent but I’ve fought those feelings so har sand for so long that I’m just tired. I don’t want to care anymore, I want to give up. I told myself that once I turned 18 I would kill myself and be at peace. However, when I really did turn 18 and I had the chance I realized something, I was too scared to do it. Being so close after so long and I chickened out. I just froze and kinda shutdown in the moment. Since that point I’ve tried getting “back into” life and get to therapy but it feels like my entire existence has been stagnated and trapped in this state of nihilistic misery. I’ve pretty much stopped functioning on a basic level as well to which I’m being supported my family for everything from eating to even just walking out the door. For a while I blamed others for my misery but now I know I did it to myself and for that I hate myself more than anything else in existence. This world is flawed yet so am I so why am I the only one who doesn’t get to burn?
  So here I am bitter and cold towards the world that’s bore me and I just have nothing left to give. I’ve gotten to such a high level of apathy that my own mother called me sociopathic and I felt nothing. How do I live when I want to die but am too scared to do anything about it. The worst part to me is that I’ve seen the beauty of this world, I’ve felt it, it’s too much to be contained or reasoned away yet it’s the evil in the world that prevails in the end.

P.S.-Thanks for reading this, I needed to let this out even if it’s doesn’t make much sense",2.3310519536281653,3.8689821946472014,3.623195219693717,90.61653606698154,76.20194647201947,6.781766137111782,22.55052239874052,7.5105763829236425,0.7475641333905823,1546,43,339,20,34,505,201,411,0.196,0.71,0.094,-0.9949,1,1,1,0,0,3,26.0,0,0,0,0,29,16,5,2,18,0,38,5,0,4,2,61,70,34,4,9,11,1,8,1,0,4,4,0,1,0,34,19,1,3,13,1,0,1,5,11,1,1,13,11,41,5,49,43,7,47,0,1,1,0,8,25,0,5,19,238,75,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419017134395527,0.0,0.0,0.15631348152436536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923260488375477,0.07303029392799645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698060030174968,0.0,0.096833847945719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791556600456236,0.0,0.0,0.09856957013950234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718364305525196,0.07933983990929766,0.0,0.08412009922548316,0.0,0.0,0.1254608387309174,0.08591077357175743,0.0,0.0,0.08535785173952473,0.0,0.08953444501568979,0.0,0.19208985786545046,0.06785051331149974,0.18238274059212875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886233005555194,0.1822183000271137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376863945141024,0.0,0.1009545109818259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034682602888484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072157745144083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507631452133796,0.0,0.052196048771721515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319115428653344,0.09711887943541547,0.13416800315218966,0.046400229942589064,0.0,0.16773020597996485,0.2521509757369445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06339688106942994,0.0,0.09541565129519676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957129614817927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094537527174989,0.07042312684565864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18226309980935834,0.0,0.0,0.10114580356335176,0.06435785406726105,0.14446628891869528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284920686150198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897825425028078,0.0,0.0,0.09662422372789893,0.0,0.09087872294050872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500119770698874,0.0,0.06084373471708052,0.09765062802314953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017408018832965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571294234634911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073116776895199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588075347358957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038877774651272,0.10777706733770064,0.0,0.0,0.07140975313736835,0.0,0.0,0.08744067634630312,0.10861275685990256,0.0,0.0,0.12171292577453295,0.0,0.0,0.055380975483857266,0.10916036117941696,0.0,0.09075315650289624,0.0,0.06448212742119773,0.2066121334714812,0.0,0.09887284081525036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805702479358062,0.15077425594113686,0.0,0.0,0.08539437699258706,0.0,0.08570061263661471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20240360211131908,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,2Migo2,2019/04/19,"College student with social problems I will try to keep it straight to point since there's so many posts like this.

Im a Sophomore at a state univetsity. Age 21.
I have no friend and have no interest in most things in life.

I numbered my problems, so it's easier to read:

(1) I seem to be able to initiate conversation and leave good enough impression to people to be interested (aka chit chat). But my biggest problem is that I have nothing talk about since I have no interest in pretty much anything. I lack things that I could do with others... So I get this impression that I just have these people whom I know to superficial level.

For example, I joined a boardgame club and last semester and sticked around for a while. Also tried out bunch of card games. But I ended up quitting them because I simply did not enjoy those activities. I ended up making some acquitance though.

REASON (1) IS PROBLEM: I cant go beyond just knowing people's faces and chit chats about classes. Also NOT knowing what most people should be aware of (due to my lack of interests and no social life), makes me insecure, so I find myself shying away from situation when comversation dives into anything of real value.

(2) Sometimes I think that not only I am NOT interested in things in this world but also people in general. I feel like I'm reaching out to people solely out of necessity NOT because I actually want to get to know them. Cuz ""it's not good to be alone"". Of course, there's that reason. But I am also very afraid of having emotional intelligence of a high schooler (hopefully not lower) when I join work force in my profession.

If I don't get enough chance to socialize, it's only natural that my social skill will deteriorate. Some peers told me that I sound alot younger than how old I actually am (which is a polite way to say that I talk like a kid).

There's these reasons. But, I just feel very lonely sometimes, but it's weird that I dont want to get to know anyone for real. 

(3) I'm scared of revealing my true self. I had trust issues with a very close friend I used to have. I burned the bridge cuz he repetitively hurt my feelings using all his knowledge about my vulnerabilities. He's very insecure person himself and I think that was his way of dealing with it... by bring me down. It genuinely hurt that he used my trusts in him against me.


HERE'S SHORT VERSION / QUESTIONS:
1. I have no interest in almost anything. So I have no topics to talk about or things to do with others. Should I force myself to have interests even if I don't enjoy them?

2. In fact, I have no interest in others to start with. Should I force myself to have interests in others, considering I do feel very lonely sometimes? Also for the sake of social skills.

3. I used to have emotionally abusive friend. I think this is affecting me as I'm scared of being myself / revealing my true self / trusting others. It's like my subconscious mind is tring to prevent it from ever happening again. How do I fix this problem?



Note: I am going to get a professional help (before shits get actually ugly). In fact, Im basically using this to organize my thoughts. I DON'T expect to have those questions actually answered. Just wanted to hear your thoughts.",3.6733387270765903,5.808820551779938,4.912168284789646,80.22859762675297,74.06472491909385,7.814023732470336,26.49298813376484,8.626192665926032,2.0742392664509173,2543,93,469,50,54,840,270,618,0.133,0.718,0.14800000000000002,0.9145,1,5,0,0,0,0,88.0,0,1,3,4,32,44,1,5,12,0,46,4,2,15,6,110,89,35,0,18,20,0,4,4,3,5,2,3,0,4,42,19,0,2,25,5,0,3,19,16,0,0,6,7,74,28,85,72,13,52,0,4,0,0,38,32,1,13,17,329,116,6,0.05700090090394541,0.06753674671488262,0.22249862721377284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057078168492224926,0.05903574276421975,0.0,0.22791799929513434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0398563552489983,0.0,0.1407206539572905,0.050742886697282406,0.0,0.0,0.053554222754174007,0.0,0.0,0.06949444025562156,0.0,0.048503568354530034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04551058116628017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058765425930808135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680463133886581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282366828108485,0.10097175887431477,0.1177943358700822,0.0,0.037648557458756136,0.05156057823078205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528547272989892,0.04072145499509714,0.0,0.0,0.05209779076781745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211626392461995,0.0,0.17868370858131874,0.0,0.06478985113997797,0.09561930257760697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05040570842099283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642441580180387,0.0,0.038206502348491135,0.060224581371641724,0.0,0.05661475607518183,0.0,0.0,0.12204128667669432,0.0,0.12314150875993113,0.059494131244737125,0.0,0.05066501975662069,0.0,0.0,0.15663102217233407,0.04646334204561491,0.0,0.060355723776917024,0.0,0.0,0.08052284405073099,0.11139104381980007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07609708794526596,0.057789966871436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755466078268943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04190222077211729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05469390174013431,0.0,0.05981285691508763,0.0,0.0,0.08670350739283622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23710348562426065,0.04977098804208388,0.0,0.0,0.053884275673620134,0.0,0.054591106561648006,0.05799040841309242,0.0,0.2727108201262942,0.0,0.0,0.1277081085628441,0.06062747449092474,0.05701632615725244,0.12975900862805154,0.0,0.1758192588476864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04532940424745628,0.11413569138482152,0.0,0.0,0.0518914793788329,0.11892874215476006,0.0,0.0585106056529438,0.09430346851760144,0.06407140086016191,0.0,0.290526200894287,0.0,0.0,0.16912604550979235,0.0,0.04034553104183943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744549497252104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147546301086562,0.1095716271112398,0.056003095728744935,0.09050469651063238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054466803533663816,0.0,0.07739974015275089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461523846595116,0.0,0.235158564315104,0.10086182458669524,0.09048932392801304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04149733473552552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,VelocePC,2019/04/19,"How do I get over the past? Im gonna try to keep it short but it will be hard. I had a huge group of friends that I lost due to my own stupidity. There was one person in particular who I cared about more than anything. Now, a while later, I am struggling to get over them, I am so stuck in the past that I can’t see a future. I’ve thought about that one person so much I developed an anxiety problem, I used to have a small anxiety attack whenever I saw them but now I have one even when I just think about them. I want to be able to move on with my life, someone please help.",2.1297619047619065,2.758628325396828,3.8239682539682534,92.58214285714287,75.26984126984127,7.504761904761906,23.523809523809533,7.793537801064563,0.7417523809523812,443,12,111,6,9,149,81,126,0.201,0.6609999999999999,0.138,-0.8212,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,1,12,7,2,1,7,0,11,1,0,2,0,11,24,7,0,2,3,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,5,0,3,6,3,18,2,17,14,3,18,0,1,2,0,9,8,0,0,9,77,24,0,0.17398465168861152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26619556464970906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14317454388665735,0.0,0.0,0.19793265853562989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738894786573067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491522155199788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442011030703227,0.0,0.1817995991112384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585607384467104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661824458781915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879332797398275,0.0,0.0,0.1546455525326992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289050482510099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899247998638066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849181503874162,0.12789873792172846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536895082271401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33217607362093954,0.0,0.3038333739072758,0.0,0.190982900943766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647981452554453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864324152703295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474166307742255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18188653406281174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111482339609735,0.0,0.13812437916657516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181241578440851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15026687728839708,0.0,0.0,0.10262065535283124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,maddsnk,2019/04/19,"Has anyone gotten out of this cycle? Really bad depression. Last couple years it has been steadily declining. I don’t have friends anymore. It’s a miracle I have even been able to keep my job.  My relationship struggles because of my mental health. 

Lately I have been struggling with my physical appearance badly. Tried Zoloft and that made me gain weight. My weight fluctuates sometimes although it’s always been considered “average”. I want to be thin. I can’t look in the mirror without feeling disgusting. I’ll eat one meal a day max. 
I want to be thin but I want to be toned and have a nice shape like all those girls online. They’re so confident and beautiful and I feel so gross about how I look that I just want to hide in the shadows forever. There isn’t one trait I like about myself whether it’s physical or personality. 

How the hell can I break this cycle when I don’t even get out of bed unless it’s to go to work. I want to work out and eat regular meals but I’m so fucking tired all the time and I have no motivation for anything. It feels like the only thing I can do is skip meals, and I know how bad that is. I know taking care of myself physically can help me mentally but how can I make a change when my depression prevents me from even doing simple tasks? Has anyone managed to do it? If so HOW? 

TLDR: hate my appearance but my depression is limiting me from making changes. Seeking advice.",2.6428603783639737,4.950767967625904,4.045699440447645,84.39577005062617,77.9568345323741,7.57175592859046,25.044497735145217,8.515128840125781,1.8774040500932585,1117,41,217,24,27,368,148,278,0.175,0.66,0.165,-0.883,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,5,18,19,4,2,9,0,29,11,0,9,2,47,55,27,0,6,10,0,7,3,1,0,3,0,1,2,14,11,7,3,6,0,0,3,6,13,0,2,6,9,33,6,26,46,2,19,1,3,2,1,5,8,2,4,10,147,47,5,0.1052866101586164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288485690556608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760689398645555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441602592124603,0.14723769171704973,0.0,0.08664190915996142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26372976497340106,0.06418174031770818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073467160414405,0.0,0.2227585460830262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649763155717838,0.0,0.06790115340836995,0.0,0.2720496091549054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21546897404661186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086224390842896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970822081460093,0.07521677533457498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134417383381815,0.09733577452580736,0.05500790826329715,0.0,0.059836806884024936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394872997740613,0.0,0.11191474317475636,0.0,0.0,0.07057139544282913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448071459196646,0.09358357673649843,0.0,0.0,0.11572553492088875,0.08582263969593681,0.1187678822208606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431315847419624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682847084575307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996247362558154,0.14055925968960606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21220827872978407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426898637647326,0.08007521142198651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09193220689663402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674492984853436,0.0,0.0,0.11303841689645605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413114961852238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201368502234002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916242775897392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994774542904213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139346907597953,0.1210114700912906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148269710309818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31050385276779285,0.0,0.0,0.25642145359054863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101492535031461,0.0,0.15329981230589532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780112498503957
mentalhealth,KTee808,2019/04/20,"Don't really know what's wrong with me I've taken a handful of screening tests online and they've all come back mild to moderate, but it feels like so much more than that. Like I know there are tons of people that have it way worse than I do, but in a way that also makes me feel like the things that happen to me aren't valid. There's a lot in my past and who I am now that probably affects things, but it just gets to the point where some days I'm numb and other days I can't do anything
I hate feeling like nobody wants to see me because I'm too sad or I'll bum them out or I'm not good enough for them. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster, but the highs are average and the lows are insanely low",3.0025161290322586,3.116392122580645,4.158225806451615,92.85733870967744,72.93548387096773,7.7483870967741915,22.596774193548388,7.554174236665415,0.5169225806451614,549,11,136,6,10,180,93,155,0.132,0.73,0.13699999999999998,0.2148,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,2,0,9,12,1,0,8,0,10,2,1,2,1,27,28,12,0,1,8,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,13,7,0,0,6,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,1,7,13,6,14,27,7,17,0,3,2,0,3,9,0,4,10,85,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324433833222533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268221022493458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11850360331706195,0.0,0.09394602810616287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275494890177514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19878063869775064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924022047939804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116972299216194,0.4403942463795906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051783061948414,0.0,0.0,0.12926291159990885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628186895559852,0.0,0.0,0.1521549627622507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16282914700545328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16939326204713245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37645983243325865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310216037609277,0.0,0.0,0.1028718144445347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329099697438134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471185688109844,0.10684274714443363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456868681377616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16616018708073393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872891666505264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280833502805877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047720372028132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090000842855477,0.24465590449478056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570546036778682,0.0,0.16849868403504967,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,mosham126,2019/04/20,"Can one be passively suicidal? I'm just confused on what the levels are to being suicidal because it isn't a black n white, yes or no type of thing, there're levels... right?",2.7050476190476154,4.510564457142864,4.46857142857143,83.80476190476192,75.85714285714286,8.095238095238095,25.952380952380953,8.841846274778883,2.06452380952381,136,5,27,3,3,46,33,35,0.426,0.574,0.0,-0.9503,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,2,0,17,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339846584694883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600992032529617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277963621363583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8397150134359831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25500553964270506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Toszt,2019/04/20,"Advice on ESA First time posting on this sub so let me know if I'm in the wrong place.

Two years ago I was committed to a pysch ward after I was saved from a suicide attempt. I have since then been in treatment at the pyschological services at my university. 
I have been allowed to have an ESA animal since I'm being seen by a mental health professional with the university, but I'm about to graduate and I need an actual ESA letter to keep my animal at my new place. I do actually need this ESA animal because it's a motivator to not kill myself since it relies on me and it helps ground me when I hallucinate. The services on campus said they can't give me an ESA and I need to see someone off campus. Everything reasonably nearby however has a waitlist of a month and a half which is too late for me since I'm moving. What should I do? My hospital network has a rule that if I go inpatient I can skip the waitlist but I'm not sure if that's a good idea.",3.6488528138528133,4.5872025000000045,5.65904761904762,79.68000000000005,71.97979797979798,9.293506493506491,27.274170274170274,9.606745405546679,2.3590291486291486,757,26,157,18,14,264,113,198,0.039,0.875,0.085,0.8613,2,0,0,0,0,2,10.0,0,0,1,3,4,5,1,0,17,0,17,1,0,3,2,25,32,12,2,7,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,9,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,3,2,0,3,6,3,22,3,23,23,0,26,0,0,2,0,5,13,0,3,10,106,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.2757752806872629,0.0,0.0,0.13807594670797674,0.12525321874436945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861346832009215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699061343309245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018903064801682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554707169641386,0.08030359381339769,0.1185150683294984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019444628880624,0.0,0.0,0.09470987790958828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595096021961416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559322472568407,0.15632663388802806,0.0,0.07765434716575999,0.0,0.1593916565505727,0.0,0.0,0.1444880092937848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14239636359595284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278367647375627,0.15017869209367588,0.0,0.3143147078711776,0.0,0.1364676516102061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952551881297702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532557862123154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527911495041015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440790009364076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259717143252546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4675366464214152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972235692465633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455839526931556,0.0,0.13317282746105602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08239270208766905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13802879062538811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448849793554048,0.0,0.09099205463023513
mentalhealth,givemeanew_name,2019/04/20,"Please help. Sleep paralysis is so bad I'm scared to sleep. I'm so tired and I feel sick but I'm scared it's going to happen again. I have nightmares and then wake up with sleep paralysis, sometimes hallucinating or feeling a strong electrical sensation in my head. I'm also scared I'm going to die from it, even though I know it can't hurt me. Please help...",1.4563356164383592,3.831791123287674,2.8399828767123303,90.95394691780822,82.97260273972603,6.389726027397263,20.08390410958904,7.6454224807358475,0.6649465753424657,284,8,61,5,8,92,48,73,0.262,0.5539999999999999,0.184,-0.8349,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,0,3,1,0,3,7,5,0,0,8,14,9,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,1,7,14,0,6,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,30,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261551257791188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846250303116156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210707383668794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953024246993948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16769893235883646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18849189939686814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466443826239185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701911178812053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22230692215726694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775262137956475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113673933267892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640667122330313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4980792411056715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49785424235970505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401174461078188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292875659197506,0.0,0.0,0.1905990897084812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,PrangsterGangster69,2019/04/20,"My sense of security is destroyed and I feel unsafe talking about sensitive topics If you start reading, please read all of it. And please do not repost this under any circumstances. It’ll make sense later.
Backstory: so my sister and I tell jokes, argue like most siblings do, etc. But there have been many occasions where I’ve put something on my insta story that was slightly embarrassing and she’s screenshotted it, we argued/fought over text and she saves the messages, and what really took the cake was something that happened a few weeks ago. I got into a big argument with my mom (we have never had mother/son relationship problems, I must’ve just had a big hormone imbalance and got really mad) and I ended up getting so frustrated I started my crying. My sister mocked me, which made me even more mad. I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have said, and after we finished arguing my sister showed me that she had audio recorded the whole thing. Among the other recordings she has in her phone is private things I’ve said, a few dirty/offensive jokes I’ve told etc. and whenever I get in my sister’s nerves she always whips out her phone and threatens to play the recordings or show the images to everyone. She’s also threatened to send them to my friends. My mom and I have told her many times to delete them, but she never does. She always has a way to recover them. Knowing that my own sister has recordings, images, videos, and texts that she could (you bet your ass she does) use to blackmail me and get what she wants from me. She can get away with cussing me out or hitting me or something because whenever I say I’ll tell mom she threatens to bring up what she has saved. Whenever I even bring it up she says that me asking her to delete them will make her not want to even more. I’ve had extreme insecurities for years and my destroyed sense of security because of my own sister recording stuff in my own home that she can use against me makes me feel powerless. I rarely ever talk about how I feel because I’m always paranoid that I’m being recorded. Thank you if you made it this far. Does anyone know how I could help overcome my near-crippling insecurities?",4.820045423050273,6.343482286396181,5.05790130110093,82.87364693201941,69.81145584725536,7.7930864577719605,28.074601585957346,8.259297600419973,1.891269089229348,1734,61,325,25,31,546,204,419,0.123,0.8140000000000001,0.063,-0.9737,2,0,3,0,0,0,42.0,3,5,4,0,14,22,8,3,12,0,27,1,1,9,4,62,63,27,0,8,10,9,3,1,1,3,0,6,1,0,24,23,0,2,5,8,1,5,5,12,0,0,17,9,73,10,37,39,13,37,0,0,0,1,63,18,1,8,14,223,97,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077068896300407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06952753928807548,0.2170282927076836,0.0,0.0,0.0591235866919693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06079191450487125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127909600072583,0.0,0.08168493357476284,0.0,0.0,0.1589972305868262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883233135809836,0.0,0.0955017777292289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282507652509342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700486527864449,0.0,0.19392677282256046,0.17227324515494613,0.07864407681146925,0.0,0.08307687050374049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318815636439653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717122502406403,0.0,0.1816945656909904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907102601663604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768825824073183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058275434614860074,0.0,0.08720998167198027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556217219787487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247550215139055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07391503598743912,0.0,0.16453337126943193,0.17410351381369255,0.17629121897070474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30547649302281393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341101632165426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908725619364576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319181600072507,0.0,0.08740079054240399,0.0,0.0,0.17393118881439404,0.0,0.1113946283486795,0.0,0.0,0.09334324242111997,0.0,0.0,0.24810544474900975,0.13827964199698706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20079675153490048,0.0,0.0,0.1230760845253543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995278656061511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976147973137787,0.15198239675624753,0.08004457393555757,0.0,0.0,0.1732813375573353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069661823273778,0.0,0.0,0.16615374100748098,0.09659583506078187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501800616730231,0.0,0.0,0.10256136700196307,0.06901056568605361,0.06973968160138515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970677125336534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055987840414470816
mentalhealth,unknownchemist,2019/04/20,"I finally made my first appointment with a psychiatrist and taking my mental health more seriously After three months of highs and lows, I finally got the courage to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. I’m not sure what to expect since I’ve only been to my college’s counseling center for my mental health. Though I’m making progress and taking a step forward to putting myself first.",11.56516431924883,9.36695133802817,10.592112676056342,61.275305164319256,56.74647887323943,13.973708920187795,41.97652582159624,12.45797560212912,5.288263849765258,319,13,51,8,3,102,48,71,0.084,0.8290000000000001,0.087,0.306,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,5,0,1,2,0,3,1,11,9,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,3,3,0,7,2,9,6,1,12,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,7,32,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160164937803331,0.0,0.3230298554651032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151867293626393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036748612976257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20062249167924415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967249197489998,0.2534976092055094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827160973272723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156331036912976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441506519687738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19088550506407206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707370974690613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178963084129566,0.0,0.2855377329123436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865597128441404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,sunset480,2019/04/20,How to feel ok after a breakup Just broke up with my (22f) boyfriend (22m) last night. I know it’s the right decision because I feel like I’m working towards a career and a future and he is stuck in the same place partying and playing video games. I know I deserve better in my life and the breakup was mutual. I’m still so sad as we had been together for 4 years. We still love eachother and I am feeling anxious about if I will find love again. I don’t want to be single. Just looking for advice on how to feel ok. I feel numb and disinterested in everything.,1.667641065830722,3.6457003879310363,3.2727272727272734,90.38136363636364,79.60344827586206,6.287147335423198,25.200626959247646,7.348242739294969,1.1118206896551723,439,17,95,6,11,145,80,116,0.108,0.685,0.207,0.8809,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,0,2,9,10,0,0,6,2,8,4,0,2,0,25,22,11,0,2,3,0,5,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,9,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,6,12,7,15,16,2,16,0,2,1,2,6,8,0,1,9,59,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952473223172356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257229960064431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179939123786387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671145637104327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957202411708734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5051375457310479,0.14274086993086302,0.0,0.0,0.18261832679037865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196154176291698,0.1628679000857124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112831688470392,0.09761472483767776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167786040047536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36066397552130997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18750363862458444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20875390050568066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063254325881844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191293707451119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785027971170148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454605603035133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12866799353743402
mentalhealth,throwaway3699630,2019/04/20,"Family member possibly having some sort of mental break. When to intercede, and how? I live several hours away from my family, and I see them about once a year. We have a family history of mental illness brought on by a debilitating disease, and most of my family is at risk. 

For some time now, he's been making some unbelievable claims about things that were happening in his environment. Because he's in a troubled relationship and his partner has a history of manipulation and attention-seeking, I believed (but he did not) that that the partner was behind it, whether deliberately or through something like schizophrenia. It only recently occurred to me, when he mentioned that these unbelievable, unexplained things were happening again, that it might not be his partner experiencing mental illness, but him. 

I've offered him alternative scenarios to the one he claims is true, and I've advised (for two years) he should at least see a doctor or insist his partner does. He says he agrees it's a good idea, but then doesn't. I have another relative living near him, but they are also experiencing mental health issues and aren't in a good position to help. I can't express my concerns exactly without having them repeated to him, and I fear that he'll sever contact with me if he thinks I believe that he's mentally ill. This exact scenario has played out with at least two other family members. One was committed briefly and is now medicated, and the other is deceased. 

 I can't exactly reach out to his partner (we don't get along) and ask which of them is the problem in the house. Anyone close to him that I do reach out to is likely to tell him I did. I will see him next week, and I'm hoping to get a better idea of his condition. My concern is that there are children in the home, and while he claims the things that are happening don't occur when they're around (which is what made me suspect his partner initially), at what point do I have an obligation to report this to someone? I'm sure that answer is when I believe he's a danger to himself or them, but I'm still not even sure this issue is him. It's entirely possible that he's just being manipulated and is really gullible. Any suggestions?",7.9691866028708125,7.483637880382776,8.390813397129186,68.74569377990433,62.54066985645933,11.810526315789476,37.42105263157895,11.20814326018867,4.294910047846892,1766,77,311,44,22,587,201,418,0.087,0.815,0.098,0.7452,0,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,2,0,5,1,16,15,1,2,18,0,41,6,0,5,7,65,59,32,0,4,15,0,0,2,6,4,6,1,1,7,30,24,0,0,5,1,0,1,10,5,0,4,9,6,43,10,47,44,6,38,0,0,3,0,55,18,0,11,20,231,73,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610039063120986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620926924603011,0.08667257007626772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05779536191179836,0.0,0.0,0.07358182861420884,0.07727269008527997,0.0,0.07765852313001811,0.0,0.0,0.050386648507359966,0.0,0.0,0.279376785298982,0.0,0.07310297653296867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460245253275188,0.07233327925139131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05459385310553788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896060626181568,0.0930115669210362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636924225076315,0.0,0.0,0.13865673776995555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21927866778674504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786001749444726,0.0,0.0,0.055402924246830534,0.0,0.08291123077970378,0.082096576479997,0.08140002409781942,0.09537452849563142,0.0,0.1866183042818648,0.0,0.1725438678693046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807636028316982,0.0,0.14597444619785152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821159949094159,0.05517387014886579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326774981988545,0.4164916648325668,0.08768550754220397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790614866636291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802649811424293,0.11202039669673748,0.06286400948462538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813713006259541,0.1863656179480208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909112836833543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052951884414878254,0.0,0.08161334353365655,0.08874217108785204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573178373588963,0.0,0.0,0.19759963892801247,0.0,0.0,0.1867566848112324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003460270195565,0.06363302872425636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600960509197586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580558721877868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224544329859857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473996086904294,0.052962961653966766,0.0,0.0,0.04819768257554339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614868226986875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630207603418489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796779374232735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645618009464286
mentalhealth,tgertcher,2019/04/20,"Depression episodes that are about 10-15 minutes long come and go daily. There was a point in my life, about a year ago, where I was pissed every day and depressed every day, for most of the day. I cut out some useless stuff that just made me mad, and removed my self worth from being tied to how successful I was with women. When you're sad, women aren't particularly receptive so I was stuck in a bit of a loop, with some help from really negative subreddits and sites. Anyway, my depression ""went away"" on it's own after that. I was scared it would return, and it's there but it is in greatly reduced capacity. Self esteem is a concept invented by people, so this means that the insults my depressed brain throws at me have no real effect. That voice that says ""you're a fat virgin loser"" get's a ""so what, that doesnt arbitrate my value. Those are all things that society uses to arbitrate value, which is only a concept in humab brains or animal brains."" Not to be a weird hippy, but it's true. The voice is far more irritating and tiring than actually hurtful, like a little obnoxious ""evil doppelganger"" of some kind that I don't listen to but is still obnoxious. I have conversations with it that usually end with me insulting it, telling it to fuck off. I can't actually insult or belittle depression, but if I personify depression and insult, belittle, laugh at, be dismissive, ignore, interrupt, disrespect, or be aggressive towards this personification, (all inside my head of course) then I feel I keep it at bay. Sometimes it wins however. In the morning, when I'm too tired or unawake to form a comprehensive defense, it makes me feel like shit. Once I force myself out of my house he usually cant get at me because I am ignoring ""him"" and just focusing on driving to school, getting my shit, and heading into my school. ""He"" usually gets at me when I wake up, when put on my acne cream which requires me to take my shirt off and look in the mirror, or when a group of people are discussing sex or dating. How can I fight ""him"" during these moments?",6.501207239020082,6.648056862944165,7.323356874862063,73.0689284926065,65.39593908629442,10.811564775987641,32.86647539174575,10.568078804390687,3.480579254027808,1620,62,297,39,23,542,217,394,0.265,0.642,0.092,-0.9978,1,0,0,0,1,0,64.0,0,0,0,5,20,36,14,1,17,0,27,17,11,6,3,55,47,32,0,2,14,0,2,2,0,1,4,4,0,4,30,18,1,5,4,0,1,7,8,28,0,0,8,8,36,8,48,34,10,55,0,10,2,3,20,27,4,11,23,210,66,4,0.0,0.0,0.17682898257906202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08031321436831923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512356989361994,0.0,0.0,0.055230143750488236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891392811614537,0.0,0.0,0.3034254177905868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804560830552854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529240146828134,0.0,0.468212265560645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024648787522153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526722004344484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162219607489032,0.06472609333453325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837600973815011,0.18934324097518065,0.0,0.051491209640245394,0.0,0.0,0.09988903477846113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859675998336184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060728616826001065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454255393032008,0.09699132451251208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053122851228757,0.0,0.09434805016333833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399487837820622,0.08852713022876436,0.09080701502231572,0.0,0.08017992688827087,0.07608286886305718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572981158310915,0.060477544545307814,0.0,0.0,0.09869214869282036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648818265798267,0.0,0.06890691052929952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562405037104565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564818366471376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108004349032812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312492154893514,0.058041966964041625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720503540571646,0.09070841665977923,0.183388140241905,0.0,0.0,0.18903530990713496,0.0,0.18600332051045246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960770359085762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235488142479367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371762396713943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812143521074737,0.0,0.0791901493133942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06019194892418123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20826736250889327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825104592116243,0.2993559382825533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398897004801636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436106769675469,0.0,0.0,0.05834472329407025
mentalhealth,CrxptiicDatBoy,2019/04/20,"Questions about Autism So to start this off ill give some details on myselg, im 18 years old i have some good friends I make music with and see on regular occasion, a great relationship with a great girl, ive been hospitalized in the past for previous suicide attempts and would regularly fight people bigger than me.
Now I'm diagnosed with, SDD, ADHD, Anxiety, and bipolar disorder. The reason Autism is even on my mind is my psychiatrist brought it up the other day, due to the fact I show signs of having Autism. I have good social skills, except for certain small characteristics that stand out, for example when im having a conversation I'll hang on the same subject for a minute till i realize the subjects completely changed and im behind on the convo. Another example is I'm told I'm insensitive in times of stress coupled with the fact that i seem to only have 3 facial expressions for every emotion.

If anyone has any advice, tips, or insight it would be appreciated.",10.21159836065574,8.128074661202184,10.225239071038253,62.4955635245902,59.21857923497268,13.521584699453554,41.454234972677604,12.161744961471696,5.079754644808743,785,34,134,20,8,262,122,183,0.099,0.7829999999999999,0.117,0.6705,0,0,0,0,1,1,18.0,0,0,0,2,5,8,1,1,12,0,14,4,1,2,3,28,24,9,1,3,3,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,1,6,9,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,1,10,6,29,18,3,25,0,0,1,0,10,12,0,6,10,83,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16904502528658574,0.13745054321556124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956530800385712,0.14749343647159122,0.1076039037065134,0.0,0.0,0.09835218377612844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879878383426187,0.0,0.14747849601664614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556367304428276,0.0,0.09071354815130904,0.0,0.0,0.14276612808602465,0.0,0.0,0.1612076304018017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822266882984298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290407562248876,0.0,0.1185114433609604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867294971447314,0.0,0.0,0.13493312253258946,0.0,0.2359565284107204,0.0,0.3101545311809764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4558082227174122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389110885407803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142025695503456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759816994645594,0.0,0.0,0.10697766064985907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427512320331347,0.09751537927636604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575704964064706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14462108530780213,0.0,0.15101534155707608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208717192914387,0.12805085373205122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433843417122466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955930638369688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112463942183258,0.0,0.0,0.15385833589990205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201951121073697,0.0,0.0,0.13440589430153224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19984052125507545,0.0,0.0,0.09057991370269068
mentalhealth,GreatQKL,2019/04/20,"Living with someone who struggles We do very few things that are fun. Kids miss out on events, and it’s all about him and how lost he feels. His stress. His feelings. It’s a vortex that drains everyone and it’s forced me into a hermit state because I have to be there for him. 

It wasn’t always like this. Occasionally it would come and go like for everyone, but now I think it’s really bad but I have no one to talk to about it. I feel trapped. It’s like out in the middle of pool and him expecting me to save him or let him drown, but it is taking me with him. 

Today was supposed to be a fun day of Easter egg fun at a party we were invited to. Instead it’s just a normal day. I miss socializing and parties and church outings and fun times because I have to worry about his mental state. 

He is the breadwinner of the family and apparently I am a crappy wife.",1.4481176470588224,3.356285511111114,3.420522875816996,89.39794117647061,80.0,6.457516339869281,20.588235294117645,7.5105763829236425,0.5968529411764707,672,18,147,10,17,227,103,180,0.177,0.662,0.161,-0.3048,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,0,1,8,14,0,2,9,0,15,1,0,1,1,32,25,14,1,3,5,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,15,17,1,0,4,1,0,2,2,6,0,1,4,3,21,8,23,17,2,17,1,3,0,0,18,7,0,1,9,105,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515695513123459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209382247516165,0.2220829238371246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569124730458947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349529103791433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481184087914085,0.0,0.0,0.17172178760464976,0.0,0.2763127679598438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352424973287297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626828572944745,0.0,0.2669787173956987,0.0,0.16084832379945133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988463229496957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835718179713766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784755788974782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343457029183108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669469653080712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18568653235731575,0.15434137612417112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20866068926553905,0.19043046783985065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695969700830524,0.14641122023316153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101728422912952,0.11671910841091525,0.0,0.0,0.10621744634381464,0.0,0.1726639185859597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15029893423514332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498968450017111,0.0,0.1293993924762149,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Rham1040,2019/04/20,"Realized that loneliness if maybe a bigger issue than I thought? Naturally extroverted but I have bad social anxiety at times so I tend to stay away from social activities for the most part except for school/sports. At a new school so that doesn’t help either. But now that I’m starting to connect with some people, I realize that I don’t like being alone as much as I thought I did. I hate dealing with anxiety but also hate being alone constantly.. sigh.",4.544630541871925,6.4869506551724205,5.668637110016422,76.55793103448278,71.183908045977,9.109359605911333,28.52052545155993,9.606745405546679,2.8488042692939244,365,14,65,9,7,121,59,87,0.269,0.645,0.087,-0.9552,0,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,14,13,9,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,3,0,8,1,14,8,5,10,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,6,48,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35710898215493353,0.0,0.13786828272516274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637711806217746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16197555144027687,0.0,0.1439468667251029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18630324162893985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777369137529593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404187763594417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155561404542792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994089392466125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08422597145625611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319905380669126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12673389635940402,0.0,0.0,0.16650507280759694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866924877771864,0.0,0.11952050917531085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34895617254317896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514803440521081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202566487893644,0.18375554809973355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27373281454452664,0.10052787380783199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,LethalToeDisease,2019/04/20,"I'm terrified So, I'm 17, and I cut myself. I have pretty intense depression and anxiety. I'm taking meds and I'm supposed to see a therapist soon. The meds worked for a little while, but now I feel myself falling back to that same place and I've started hurting myself again. My parents know of my mental disorders but they have no idea what I've been doing to myself. I'm so scared for them to find out. If they did would I be put in a mental ward? Would they be scared of me? If my friends parents knew would they ever let me see them again? It's so scary to think about and I don't know what to do. Breathing even feels like a task now. I just want it to stop and I want to die, but I don't want to hurt anyone in that process.",-0.10895921237693074,1.9661854177215192,1.8738396624472564,97.26226441631508,87.22784810126579,4.776933895921238,18.271448663853725,6.139981653823899,-0.31627960618846673,568,15,133,5,18,188,85,158,0.232,0.662,0.106,-0.9774,2,0,0,0,0,3,16.0,0,0,6,1,13,8,1,2,5,0,14,1,1,0,1,30,32,15,1,8,6,2,2,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,8,0,0,2,3,6,0,0,3,4,23,2,17,23,1,17,0,3,2,0,9,5,0,2,11,91,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437807141382917,0.0,0.0,0.095403706634013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491579243208472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751764917907916,0.0,0.14160568176094093,0.0,0.15637482450848025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09011892604201996,0.12341997276665775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797876588029467,0.09747448610871287,0.0,0.0,0.12470589233866194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541506874124804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29212884717132903,0.15402687486769998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997036227481442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952161011605352,0.0,0.06665887033478671,0.13675114112972322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031135210928936,0.0,0.2750037185879193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30300630241952137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425532798338437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881098452845395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716230930381662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27320531316323576,0.0,0.21745387357143156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657464119491588,0.0,0.0,0.11407196558341592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258771305471162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584201561642388,0.0,0.0874267880494409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24143180838599615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933170066525372,0.0,0.0,0.2907743234274013,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,needhelpplease132,2019/04/20,"Not sure if I should tell people I trust about my depersonalization. Feeling at the end of my rope. I’ve been experiencing depersonalization for about a year or so. I didn’t know that was what it was until about yesterday when I googled “I feel emotionally disconnected from my memories”.

I have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life and that has given me a massive insomnia problem. I’m lucky if I get 3 hours a night. I’ve tried every prescription sleep-aid there is to no effect. I got a medical marijuana card for PTSD and they said it would help me sleep and I tried a brownie and it fucked my life. I had the worst experience of my life and thought I’d died and gone to hell and that I was in a horrible experience that would last eternity. 

Since then it’s felt like I’m living the old me’s life for him so when he comes back things will be okay but it’s really effecting my state of mind. I’m faking it the best I can but I feel myself cracking under the weight of this massive depression and emotional numbness. I can barely get out of bed to go to work and when I go I just can barely function enough to get by. I have a fiancé who thinks I’m massively depressed, which I am, but she doesn’t know the rest. I have to ask for constant reassurance about everything because I can’t tell if I’m acting human or if I’m being a good partner. 

I’m really scared this will never end. I’m also very scared of telling anyone because they’ll think I’m crazy even though I know that what I’m feeling isn’t real. I don’t want this to be what defines me in people’s eyes and I feel like it will. I’m sick of pretending I’m okay when I’m not but I just don’t want to devastate the people who care about me by telling them I feel emotionally disconnected from all our treasured memories and feel like they didn’t actually happen to me. They know I struggle with depression, anxiety, and insomnia but they don’t know it’s gotten this bad and I don’t know if I should just carry it because it will go away eventually (will it?) and I don’t want them to look at me differently. I’m in therapy but it isn’t helping or at least not enough to notice.",2.28108108108108,4.205533189189193,4.206567567567569,84.6739054054054,77.46846846846847,7.773333333333331,24.388288288288287,8.623443432112703,1.6508299099099104,1712,59,362,37,40,582,192,444,0.16699999999999998,0.715,0.118,-0.981,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,7,4,19,28,2,4,15,2,38,13,2,2,3,72,89,39,1,13,20,0,9,3,1,10,9,1,1,2,28,19,1,0,19,1,0,6,16,15,0,0,14,13,54,13,43,62,8,34,1,4,2,1,24,9,2,9,21,234,82,1,0.0,0.0,0.07664533113300125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06280973773510233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016831101,0.0,0.0,0.054918155389408384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342585046767736,0.0,0.07379247571933051,0.06039368903863927,0.06557900604896193,0.14363480220964642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242462733439157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007845767421617,0.0,0.0,0.06765668619259525,0.0,0.08487563284762235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705912693045721,0.0,0.08151384374197825,0.08205931875600485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265046390816385,0.1391291980703845,0.16230906215309093,0.0,0.05187602618929898,0.0,0.06617473666609107,0.0,0.0705881802974219,0.15365763037678387,0.0,0.0,0.2779911651590859,0.11222035628356912,0.07541231130875456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261049977106797,0.12310432818203132,0.0,0.13391110741309098,0.0658770186633643,0.06281694102867974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945413122407543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528963924331576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734771483787625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589866562777077,0.06402193633690181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219051909964238,0.11511446446745642,0.0,0.06935372540283308,0.0,0.06595521381740067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912246021598726,0.0,0.0,0.07930468765901183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06057617071950287,0.0,0.0,0.07370602806718249,0.0,0.0,0.08942020134823261,0.0824162608403534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16335269476516878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515376206631555,0.09181099838677384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08939760490505487,0.10063159811668666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471110524406219,0.0,0.1572678082526556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064970473409507,0.0,0.1571967652203076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421759410268832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740245857658707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745954934794991,0.0,0.08981923405502916,0.0,0.05217958944905264,0.10065264968613534,0.07716678292093518,0.062353305456437524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066492640948506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480509567683886,0.13897771938518125,0.0,0.0,0.09564258356159114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768895935643624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057179264461447735,0.0,0.0,0.11158748467006964,0.0,0.0,0.05057825444126996
mentalhealth,arcanejay,2019/04/20,"Feeling more dissociated each day, year long identity crisis... I need someone's help who has this experience.

What can I do to feel like myself again?

I used to feel completely in my body, present, and capable.

Just a year ago I had a job and was keeping up on my school work during my senior year of high school.

My first year of college is almost year, but I feel so ashamed that I just went through the motions.

I don't feel like me right now. My concept of time is barely there and this is the closest I've ever felt to wanting to end myself.

I never would, but instead I would just never get out of bed again. Stare off into nowhere... I need someone to talk to.

Nothing makes sense anymore. I felt like I had something to look forward to.

I felt like I had a purpose, but now I don't know. I just feel meaningless.",1.8811590909090905,3.994279369696972,3.163996212121212,90.74599431818184,79.54545454545455,5.579545454545455,25.46401515151515,6.6274283507984215,0.8822196969696976,636,25,133,6,16,206,96,165,0.059,0.838,0.103,0.4702,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,12,5,0,1,5,0,14,1,1,2,3,35,33,7,0,5,7,0,9,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,1,10,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,8,11,24,4,19,23,2,32,0,0,2,0,3,10,0,1,25,90,29,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776657303614402,0.0,0.12173717004738227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056712612968774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13503949940831686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746631964035934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784041228835203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767703751514147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996917114951034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892110829387872,0.0,0.0,0.3688238665092498,0.17370265452684386,0.3501856283159924,0.0,0.0,0.10340939801241723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351654695911735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148739870564604,0.12844788641861646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064182086215908,0.10805911066340336,0.0,0.0,0.06681299657849434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375764815420381,0.0,0.0,0.10758772407503088,0.10209017418389266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811505027229925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802887476622564,0.18752821686754076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665197031682133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10382214192431076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24607546298305974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20601575354182697,0.09359235190185727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09771526800125953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088982811130506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499949630635223,0.0,0.0,0.071706535180039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269880736438878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850613515918884,0.0,0.0,0.17272305080003186,0.0,0.0,0.3914431101779112
mentalhealth,Yowkati3,2019/04/20,"Well I’m fucked now Hi so I’m 17 and I am in the custody of the state because my father put me in. I am unruly by name I snuck out a lot smoked a bunch of weed skipped school all around crazy. I say that to say I’ve been in a group home for almost a year if you have never experienced something like that then don’t pretend you have, but I have been threatened by kids and staff alike. I get judged so much for being bi sexual it’s killing me. Hell just last week I got accused of calling a two year old girl “thick” and saying that she “has a nice ass” she is fucking two. Well you see I was exposed to be getting out this Wednesday but I snuck out at one point on a pass (you spend a couple days at home) I was gone for maybe 3 minutes I just needed something I don’t know what, but he caught me. He told me he wasn’t going to say anything spoiler like always he lied (he is known for it my dad is stubborn and won’t ever change his ways) he told me I was going to go back and if I go back I’m staying till I’m 18 so I ran I got some help from my buddy and slept in a shed last night this morning I got up got in my friends car and we were driving and she T-boned a guy on the Main Street of my town 

Now about 4 hours later I have the opportunity to go somewhere kinda of far but I would have a car and some money I could get my ged I don’t know what to do. Thoughts?",-0.4319523615635177,1.3403350749185703,1.6812041938110769,100.09669228420198,85.87296416938109,4.228379478827362,18.06280537459284,4.8782641753992095,-0.8379934039087953,1056,26,268,3,32,352,165,307,0.139,0.797,0.064,-0.9718,0,0,3,0,0,0,15.0,1,4,0,1,14,12,5,0,15,0,27,5,2,0,3,39,56,20,1,5,8,2,1,2,1,2,0,4,2,3,9,14,0,1,4,1,2,13,6,5,2,3,18,7,41,7,34,33,7,54,1,0,1,4,32,19,4,7,21,165,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078371004749217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960763858384091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862061567232499,0.09586792841658526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656156474160825,0.0,0.06564750704391238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996467384898033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392292535765353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598259621047154,0.11915817568036405,0.0,0.06945186317167963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741278324260348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320189197586242,0.19911740978592948,0.16879249583963132,0.0,0.30601672547047243,0.0,0.34452170492538176,0.0,0.0,0.1066311397215955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218308753391063,0.0,0.2160459474035072,0.0,0.10605406022501544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914426823137884,0.0,0.11836844609187827,0.1755652718694415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052248828379843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155513893658644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819020445447844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916536411186145,0.07985160074193218,0.08305803049453565,0.0,0.0,0.10106082068446376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11300371457649405,0.0,0.07297428980751475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101802917005406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825931983090853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3425612033061044,0.0,0.10898916253675353,0.08581587962074542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658117705840631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478440488909222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549471986297892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20580695983640776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21039715171892406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548019824481677,0.08638332043149066,0.0,0.19365449966919396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650068165790486,0.0,0.0,0.13869910064786808
mentalhealth,frigoffdonna,2019/04/20,... Can someone tell me what someone with bi polar is like ? My fiance is okay one minute normal and joking then and an hour later he's in the worst of mood sometimes crying he's seen a councler once but Won't be seen for three weeks I'm worried about him he has sucidal thoughts smokes weed and take coke he said he would quit but was back on it within a day he lives in a toxic environment with his toxic brother and is having an anger episode we are drinking alcohol now it's effecting my mental health too,3.5731310679611634,5.078043242718451,4.3244538834951465,86.99017597087378,72.88349514563106,6.703398058252428,25.496359223300967,7.1686216300943375,1.0945932038834951,406,13,81,4,8,130,80,103,0.117,0.8390000000000001,0.044,-0.8689,0,0,3,0,0,0,4.0,1,0,0,2,4,6,1,0,6,1,11,5,0,1,0,13,17,7,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,7,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,0,2,5,3,6,3,9,9,1,11,0,0,2,1,12,4,0,0,8,48,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23305642190308756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768662253265948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395457310409388,0.14064067671818825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21363099840394006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23180409204801206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147604703114684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10654068914857227,0.0,0.19256468942339372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21976884358844956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21366771880634625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23224332356669186,0.14777362381464615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319501709329507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074397690136718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695493798938996,0.0,0.21568227658392986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396565966586948,0.0,0.19060762638131928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17312761253990847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492703705611953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22146628762337506,0.0,0.15491460050790504,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,br2148,2019/04/20,"Emergency! Friend is suicidal but I don’t know how to help. 
I was hoping to get some advice as I’m really stuck on what to do in my current situation. A good friend has had a really rough time for the last 2 years and now when he lost his job something snapped. He’s been suicidal and tried to kill himself 3 days in a row. He is delusional and thinks he has done millions of dollars in damage to his apartment which because he is broke and can’t pay for it, he believes the police are coming for him to take him to jail. When I visited, the place was fine. I’ve been going to him daily for the last week since he wasn’t eating at all and so thin as a stick. Just being there for him hoping that him having someone to listen to him would help but today when I went to visit he seemed worse. Extremely paranoid. He thought he was being watched and didn’t want me to come in because he thought the people he thought were watching him would kill me too. After calling around multiple hospitals trying to get help for him I’ve been advised to call the emergency services. But I’m the only person he trusts right now and I have had a similar experience with my uncle in the past who is a schizophrenic. When the problems first started surfacing with my uncle were told that we need to call the police and emergency services to commit him. The emergency services came and my uncle acted normal so they didn’t do anything and left. Once the police and ambulance left, he lost the whole families trust and ran away and was found a week later, heavily malnourished, living in the forest. By doing what we were advised to do by the health professionals the situation was made worse. Now again I’m faced with this same scenario, my friend needs help. I’ve found help and been advised to call the emergency services. I just don’t see how this can go well and how trying getting him committed will work. I need to do something and would be great if anyone here maybe had similar experiences with good outcomes since right now, every option just seems like it will make things worse and something needs to happen now. Because my friend lost his job, he is currently being kicked out of his flat and is broke with no future money coming in. He has to move out end of this month at which point I feel the situation will just get worse and harder to deal with. Please if anyone has another option or ideas I would appreciate it.",6.2337720364741624,6.493897346808518,6.371747720364745,79.27750000000003,65.95744680851064,9.437689969604863,30.40273556231003,9.23628265651192,2.4756778115501508,1923,64,365,32,28,614,216,470,0.158,0.6940000000000001,0.14800000000000002,-0.8004,4,0,3,0,0,1,32.0,2,0,1,5,24,23,2,0,25,0,52,4,1,5,3,80,96,36,4,15,10,0,3,1,4,7,2,1,0,1,14,34,1,0,11,0,3,12,7,9,1,2,33,7,35,14,56,52,4,63,0,6,3,0,57,23,0,10,29,237,49,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622250831808223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106108928419777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477049934974494,0.0,0.055767629198400163,0.0603282548128864,0.0,0.0,0.06367065429079971,0.0,0.0,0.12393298566647905,0.0,0.0,0.07635179413968984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27679650427199776,0.07750901012479144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17512946008537594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043705019685456654,0.06986625752869248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935061462039359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934400433285945,0.0,0.0,0.060022698694842086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05709781031167738,0.0,0.0,0.13258102221797166,0.06388602801788702,0.0,0.03426574554461586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05764377700530171,0.0,0.14860913271658804,0.20943082938947533,0.0,0.14162479385552512,0.0,0.07702870103113196,0.11368185821484413,0.0,0.07471491396295109,0.0,0.0,0.05992738331555283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203465343407002,0.0,0.0,0.2271186918217208,0.0,0.0,0.1346186491536713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650228884968953,0.0,0.0,0.1344993850260457,0.0,0.14995141528715908,0.0,0.03724374718209122,0.1104806021426556,0.0,0.0,0.1472611568160685,0.0,0.0,0.033108223205372905,0.0,0.05984074976286623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219316826901136,0.0,0.0,0.06412411042611424,0.04523594153667351,0.0,0.06808247899366192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409210026438111,0.07202709757555202,0.0,0.20099767654696726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639865559869212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217114753107186,0.0,0.051540931425233034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469261783343934,0.046982084349732806,0.05917276379652176,0.07080356723257968,0.0743893663911248,0.06406305444621202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484521838483193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682836064192126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157477078936118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400265071187943,0.12338763497077627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211746214614864,0.22852360491647675,0.0,0.0,0.05741995594693568,0.15651430429324892,0.0,0.0,0.04796683112992193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825528791048145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05095341227484977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04502232197064213,0.043423262325511774,0.0,0.16140164902607312,0.039516306275195166,0.0,0.06423653104436994,0.06475562224169384,0.0,0.13803091084202426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039971565478455394,0.0,0.10871946546980177,0.0,0.06093194144624915,0.06282199727819908,0.0,0.07566101234412267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04933621137708157,0.0,0.27624720759126914,0.19256294331772214,0.0,0.0,0.04364063573921547
mentalhealth,mick-67,2019/04/20,"I’m I crazy? Since I was little I have made a story in my head of a band that has made more songs and then best song and albums of all time. And I have a lot of details to the 4 people in the band, and it keeps getting more and more added to it as the years pass. Now that I’m older I have had 2 new stories one of a YouTube and the other is a tv show. I have had those 2 for about 4 years. I could understand when I was younger like 5 but now that I’m 15 it just seems wired. I will just start talking of one and add more to it every few days or so. I usually do this when I’m alone just to let you know.",-0.6409656301145645,0.6537833758865261,1.6953191489361714,102.22615384615385,84.0354609929078,4.9058374249863625,16.519912711402075,5.369823440869387,-1.0196791052918712,460,8,128,2,13,156,81,141,0.035,0.93,0.036000000000000004,0.0387,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,9,2,0,0,9,0,14,1,1,2,1,22,26,14,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,10,8,0,1,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,2,12,2,14,17,8,17,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,3,14,87,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152373716578904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21809277587278195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659262239144743,0.0,0.0,0.13402579019238886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17509611482509346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085766294348404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132818163460953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18471870051611192,0.0,0.0,0.11421165535972405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21250857580257465,0.0,0.10152965972562343,0.2082888107203015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667992306869582,0.0,0.3932859260605164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20071247730903788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281646493226656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440752349541611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891902279869152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190967498297569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709505890811705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670367006998629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118068386958895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163464684657545,0.0,0.0,0.2288828029112433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676567008339717
mentalhealth,firekitten37,2019/04/20,"Need to rant, also want to know if others feel the same/have similar experiences. I (28F) just recently got up the courage to get help again (had a bad experience with psychiatrist). I struggle with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and have experienced psychosis symptoms (mainly delusions). 

My family has always known I was different from my siblings and walked on eggshells around me. *example: my sister cries they responded with ""stop crying, there's no need, grow up"" and when ever I cried (which was almost daily) they wouldn't say a thing, no negative remark but also no ""it's okay"" or anything reassuring. If they complained that I never got in trouble for crying they'd say ""you know your sister is sensitive.""

My parents know that I am getting help. I think they've always just thought it was for attention, so they don't know much or even what I have problems with. I don't share it with them, because I know they'll just nod their heads and not say anything. 

This past year at a family gathering I got overwhelmed and had a freak out/panic attack. (Basically just a lot of sobbing, crying, and hyperventilating). I was begging my husband to take me home right away, so no one would see me freaking out. My husband led me outside and went back in to tell my father we were leaving. My father follows my husband outside where I'm pacing, sobbing, and waiting. The first thing my father said was ""when are you going to get your problem fixed!?""

I lost it!!! Instead of feeling immense sadness and panic, I suddenly felt heartbroken and angry. MY PROBLEM????? (I could have been over reacting) but those feelings are valid to me. I was appalled and felt like my heart had been stabbed by my own father. MY PROBLEM???? Like I chose to feel this way? Like I chose to embarass myself? Like I chose to have issues? I held it back, but I wanted to scream "" I DIDN'T CHOSE THIS! I DON'T WANT THIS PROBLEM!"" maybe his choice of words could have been better, but at that moment I felt like he was finally saying what I always thought he wanted to say... that I am broken. I need fixing.

I instead said nothing and got into the car. To this day I have said no more about ""my problem"" to him, and he never asks. I am tired of feeling like I did this to myself. I am tired of feeling alone through my struggles (even when I was more open about it no one understood and just gave me looks of pity and the common phrases ""just smile!"" Or ""it's all in your head, you're fine!""). (No duh it's in my head, I cant get it out.) 

I don't tell anyone anymore about what I go through day to day. I am in the biggest episode of self pity EVER! I stopped my medications, stopped therapy, and stopped expressing myself to anyone. 

I am lost and scared. If anyone out there is feeling similar, a kind word of validation would be appreciated. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing control and going crazy!!!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this.",3.2083005360417545,5.438244983812949,4.133347439695304,84.84612850895756,75.78057553956835,6.5910001410636205,26.90915502891805,7.583002386737751,1.5914948934969666,2265,89,427,31,51,729,254,556,0.23,0.659,0.111,-0.9973,2,1,0,0,0,0,117.0,1,6,8,6,29,42,1,5,13,2,47,8,4,3,5,105,103,35,0,21,17,10,11,7,0,4,4,9,1,1,28,30,0,7,22,1,0,9,18,27,0,3,35,23,84,15,58,60,7,57,0,10,2,0,51,21,2,8,33,302,112,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838660438149889,0.0603890532614403,0.0,0.09325707819850916,0.14554969636183146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04460512804601064,0.0,0.05782543730898669,0.1223100166394826,0.0,0.09596431663160697,0.051906095255544585,0.054509702840467314,0.06633327335928413,0.05478187719587668,0.08966983758356323,0.048684381720246216,0.035543750764106916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156830340923856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0653968927500528,0.09310769311351168,0.0,0.3202406141863425,0.11281066833318325,0.0,0.050220220763769335,0.0,0.0,0.060918995860321325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702319425956895,0.10548506241058077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140719748924932,0.10993436710808037,0.0,0.2358564566812121,0.08330987294946644,0.1679532203074415,0.06387308800169995,0.0,0.04959638546493215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218531857619973,0.0,0.0994125995903686,0.0,0.18653554665071653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795211519423269,0.0,0.0,0.06909474590912003,0.07816466422625416,0.0,0.0584872423485098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085794964638036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06071835690370641,0.16022156574087668,0.0,0.0,0.06173929296280607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19940291906985247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0489636699209719,0.06523125134561136,0.12729919115197846,0.04957100712687276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585777866579985,0.0,0.0,0.05873873801814191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04286276962900621,0.129702963114244,0.0899407781892041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594768170280015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902143084796817,0.0,0.0,0.06841136509857176,0.06474365130097752,0.0,0.055661168949905936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347547936988272,0.06815842387488215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832334439889174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757168669716145,0.0,0.0,0.049794342387088464,0.1663915413902947,0.2318425820728449,0.05837604494617046,0.0,0.04646358063227065,0.0,0.060827507269483785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05766767324318716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19499094253754315,0.0,0.1219114548718032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060603886167881836,0.08768006564540791,0.0,0.10192676459013612,0.053681772484035696,0.06667978275380396,0.0,0.07747391135653303,0.03736113364401625,0.0,0.0925793880466527,0.0339996103654804,0.13403193840589214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756525141813078,0.046281831534712686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054051697417397085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284004327274774,0.0,0.0,0.03754816052143417
mentalhealth,mindprobe3,2019/04/20,"Should I be able to communicate with someone who is angry with me? I want to first clarify this issue exists in all social aspects of my life. It happens mostly in my relationship, but it happenens to me with friends, co-workers, and even online.   


I find that, if I ever I have done anything wrong, and it's enough to make someone upset, I am unable to communicate. I can express at a minimum, what lead me to my mistake, and I can admit that I was wrong to do so. However, when it comes to making things right with the other person, I feel like it's an impossible task. I don't know what they want, or how to make them feel better. Sometimes I become anxious from the thought I'll have to do too much to make them feel better, and would rather just sever my connection with this person.   


 I have lost a lot in life, and I only find myself ""angry' when I'm in a situation with someone who is angry, and I don't know what it is I am supposed to do to make their situation better. Is my remorse supposed to be sufficient? Are these just toxic experiences I'm being sensitive too? Is there a 3 step apology plan I'm supposed to adhere too, that if it fails I should try to exit the conversation cause they're too angry to talk too?",5.678432620011572,5.351241299595144,7.055896471949104,75.89915991902836,67.17813765182187,9.648235974551763,31.003181029496822,9.23628265651192,2.572254135338345,959,33,188,16,14,330,126,247,0.149,0.754,0.097,-0.9482,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,4,8,15,11,0,1,8,0,26,2,0,8,2,47,46,14,0,9,7,0,3,1,1,3,2,0,0,2,20,13,0,0,9,0,0,3,2,6,0,1,4,3,30,5,30,36,5,14,0,2,0,0,16,7,0,5,5,145,50,2,0.11670386558417865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184214967547386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603733756199063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889025058067194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096452558104939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198870175142571,0.0,0.10053004653430088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194285732093006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058629005816415,0.0,0.07708180255797997,0.10556532784328708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415877425740012,0.0,0.0,0.17702694299451882,0.08337326489187216,0.0,0.0,0.21333043775029853,0.099268248447705,0.0,0.0,0.09016511705388093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320084291565433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218085150537103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282747849106177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486278321088493,0.057015613784481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12739605533755574,0.0992174531499418,0.0,0.0,0.38950368248903583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579076932324897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875854865436013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038026279003277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529627643494565,0.0,0.09966446354980048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184214967547386,0.0,0.0,0.2623600692338111,0.0,0.1189648940987251,0.2966484197733489,0.0,0.11542310717286874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380214649270413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753286261348234,0.0,0.0,0.09264983332555222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923426408872575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376699272288863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496180408161283,0.0,0.0,0.08290307771351826,0.2551947130731109,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,warmbookworm,2019/04/20,"Is my depression/mental illness getting worse? Sorry guys, x-post from r/depression for more visibility plus I'm not sure if my problem is just depression or not.

I know the rules say no ""diagnosing"", and I know people will suggest talking to a mental health professional. But it's not always an easy thing to do, and the waiting times could be months and months (I have tried before so I know).

So please don't worry about ""diagnosing"", I know to take opinions here as opinions and not an absolute fact, and I'd also appreciate if you guys can provide sources/info that can shed some more light. I guess I'm trying to find out what potential problems *might* cause these symptoms, as well as if there are names for the things I'm describing so it's easier to talk about in the future. 

OK, so my situation: Last June, I became severely depressed after coming to realize the world is completely different from how I thought it was.

I went to see doctors, I read self-help books like Feeling Good, and I feel like I've gotten a lot better at managing; I don't take meds and didn't feel the need to (I'm not against taking meds though).

I've become a lot more mature over the past year, gained a lot of perspective, and started fixing a lot of my personal problems. I started swimming again after no exercise for over 10 years, and I swim pretty much every single day.

But for the past little while, something started happening.

At first, it was quite rare, I would feel a little ""jolt"" of shock going through my brain while I am trying to sleep, and then my body would uncontrollably twitch, I'd wake up, and then it'd happen again. But that's it.

Recently, it's gotten worse. The past couple of days, every time I try to sleep, I end up with mini dreams about 30 minutes in length, and every one of these dreams are super super depressing.

It's not the content of the dreams themselves that is depressing; but somehow my entire mindset becomes extremely bad. Like normally, even if I feel depressed, even if I feel anxious, there are things I look forward to like finding a girlfriend, starting a family of my own, travelling the world, eating delicious food...

But when I'm in that half-asleep depressive state, NOTHING feels desirable/motivating. Life literally just feels like a huge pain and annoyance. While not to the point of being suicidal, it does make me feel liek why am I even alive.

Plus, I still get those ""jolts"" and also I don't know if it's adrenaline or what, but feels like some chemicals squirt out from my heart into the rest of my body. Very uncomfortable. And then I wake up, and when I try to fall asleep again, the same thing happens again.

Is my depression getting worse? Am I developing other problems like bi-polar disorder or epilpsey or something?

When I am normal, I still feel like I can manage my depression, thoughts and feelings a lot better than when I first had it. But these episodes are really scaring me. Are they just going to get worse and worse?

I've always thought of myself as a coward who would never commit suicide because I'm too scared to die and too scared to inflict pain on myself.

But if these episodes get worse and worse, I feel like it might be possible I may eventually become suicidal.

And if these things are because of genetics or whatever and not curable via say Cognitive behavorial therapy, then I need to do the responsible thing.

Right now, what drives me the most is a wanting of love, wanting of a relationship, to get a girlfriend and start my own family. But if this persists and gets worse, then I should stop because what if I end up committing suicide 10-20 years down the road? That would be tragic for my family/kids. I can't do that to them, that would be too irresponsible.

So yeah. If anyone has had similar experiences or understands what I'm describing and has resources for more info, I would very much appreciate it, because as it is, I don't even know if it's depression or bi-polar or epilepsy or a mix or even something else. I tried searching for those in google, and none of them seem to fit exactly, but all seem to fit somewhat.

Also, sorry for the huge wall of text.",6.352212916139905,6.80031046523388,6.6348522439949456,76.84518186367471,65.71302149178256,9.929214075010536,32.40837020648968,9.827888789773867,3.0432623050990317,3282,126,609,66,48,1059,339,791,0.181,0.693,0.126,-0.9953,1,0,3,0,0,3,119.0,0,1,3,9,40,41,1,4,36,2,54,23,9,3,7,153,120,87,5,30,43,0,13,9,2,11,11,2,0,3,43,33,2,2,29,9,0,10,18,23,1,3,11,18,63,18,80,91,22,88,0,10,2,1,18,30,0,40,58,414,106,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993012558529825,0.06888136139106939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046760120385578925,0.0,0.028941594068832524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034559809211520104,0.10092643280368603,0.13713953349171212,0.0352207465393354,0.0,0.0,0.07321406431434305,0.0,0.09195228145483247,0.0,0.046206115839446366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04252002402443779,0.0,0.035654736287922005,0.04339774270097782,0.0,0.0,0.03304739627400423,0.045798424617897564,0.0,0.05338762366709954,0.0,0.3565006243952175,0.08402211658563181,0.042957389224794806,0.04324485183745374,0.04743774485482998,0.042365507498115226,0.03622159869776536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042353391367128713,0.03457692246393128,0.0,0.07332039368627169,0.0,0.0,0.13669203574200653,0.0,0.10462126882932042,0.0,0.0,0.04048840253656137,0.07803962212925593,0.0,0.2720713505298423,0.14784892057960494,0.0,0.0,0.07566136456107779,0.07041443513028127,0.05005023841885943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137585669489292,0.0,0.04704699061815131,0.034716860373422184,0.0,0.0,0.04559692304021483,0.08196732094254018,0.10980594257240607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043996765087921816,0.0,0.04904860967238287,0.027743557454057908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13648467655341653,0.03373924123679878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029235732309500793,0.1819942464442664,0.08296943912690828,0.0,0.0,0.03475806882971907,0.0,0.0,0.17594601062943951,0.03735705092634106,0.0,0.02762885636899134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195228145483247,0.0,0.04171245684050541,0.08781875503708754,0.0,0.0,0.06607590416527735,0.0,0.06085438854571128,0.061381898410525576,0.031923339936983215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110890837291904,0.039715841860461225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02804765591375881,0.0,0.08808601994379743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185373611471146,0.02869535188876845,0.036141080219695,0.0,0.04543495834466934,0.03912793388899191,0.04666220510280837,0.03964119739512069,0.04210959205106223,0.0,0.1584226315721024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0440244910798496,0.04140226462330196,0.0,0.02651617522966489,0.0,0.040868681863363884,0.04443851214793064,0.0,0.035347742169132404,0.0,0.06583167020245105,0.12431902622009335,0.0,0.03298331878101201,0.07536173954848119,0.043179906404593064,0.046760120385578925,0.0,0.0,0.04652528971933171,0.08284191148956803,0.0,0.0,0.09559458886259699,0.0,0.0926678139583953,0.14648403932190274,0.0,0.06610991373776348,0.034604782550157705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18110042220747652,0.0,0.03901058761275315,0.04302116344978997,0.09336278596813403,0.06653713813406525,0.0,0.0,0.047334288509177765,0.0,0.16499030083636826,0.0,0.04066650984650785,0.09857964324771408,0.04827092410247751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861089127739542,0.0,0.0,0.043089556956074734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830392460824157,0.0488270434496272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037215537055581865,0.03836993064918008,0.0373489969432164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04203463426970732,0.33744823967846016,0.1764181441410582,0.0,0.0,0.07996346372360177
mentalhealth,Rye-Bread-Raccoon,2019/04/20,"EMDR; Any Tips I need to know? I've Been Diagnosed with Cptsd and I know I can easily Post it in r/Cptsd However I know EMDR therapy can be used for not only Cptsd and Ptsd, but much more as well.
I have recently Started EMDR, Two sessions in and It's alright..Tho I don't want to fuck this up at all.
Any Tips or Advice that I need to know?",-1.2264000000000017,0.7945048266666674,1.9670000000000023,94.3185,94.06666666666666,5.666666666666668,16.833333333333336,7.1686216300943375,0.17633333333333345,262,7,62,5,10,93,51,75,0.019,0.852,0.129,0.821,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,16,16,6,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,1,0,7,1,10,14,3,7,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,2,38,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144486973676358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984735881516907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22274200945320732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20288243267411332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4824264903966606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132453381965758,0.32544591713727755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16690526961265598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21017704203919949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565309253851154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21668514652738965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533124180764962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509656972953494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21437545825014145,0.0,0.0,0.18953849209928733,0.0,0.0,0.1294401309510554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973162268101716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,reverseroot,2019/04/20,"Anniversary of my Dads death, at work, depressed, suicidal, abandoned... I just want to curl up in a ball and get hit by a bus. I lost my dad several years ago and normally I have a good cry and that's that.

Not this year, I'm at work, not a single person friend or family has checked in on me. My wife went to work even after I told her multiple times I'm not in a good place at all and I literally wont see her all day.

Roast me, ama, tell me I'm better off dead",0.5369607843137274,1.9374497549019625,3.0594117647058816,93.31401960784315,80.86274509803921,7.2784313725490195,20.15686274509804,8.167268648758528,0.6390509803921574,353,9,89,7,9,123,69,102,0.218,0.691,0.091,-0.9435,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,5,2,7,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,0,2,14,13,5,3,2,5,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,0,1,1,1,4,3,0,0,3,1,13,4,14,8,3,17,0,3,1,0,9,10,0,1,6,51,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748310750293199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443249071749795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21664613442146924,0.12719600061755126,0.0,0.16987253047067505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302674969844687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859293810573454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237817129517464,0.0,0.10304369781980867,0.0,0.0,0.3308516461442385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21529809505992387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19324195479875736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221222995831614,0.20606169831875995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716549821354575,0.0,0.0,0.22281195126900447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157358562967525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723863133244783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500546512865735,0.0,0.0,0.18846018663126804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633041934022822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18283270118861453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43075386886566985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540172442609703
mentalhealth,xoxdream,2019/04/20,"Is this normal, or some type of disorder? I’m constantly second guessing myself all the time. I don’t know my real identity. Like, I know what I look like, but I’m constantly changing my hobbies just for others approval. I can’t seem to know who I really am deep inside. Sometimes when I’m with a friend, I’ll ask them for their opinion on me and then base things off of that. I’m always afraid of liking/doing something that others wouldn’t normally expect me to do, as simple as wearing a certain outfit or sharing my music taste. To sum it up, I feel lost in who I’m supposed to be. Also, I am 17 years old. Is this some type of disorder? Not diagnosing myself, just feeling lost as to whether or not I should talk to my psychiatrist about this.",3.2025938189845498,4.744262410596028,4.868493377483446,82.5702014348786,73.90066225165563,7.417439293598234,26.490618101545248,8.07648339933343,1.7172777041942604,588,21,114,9,12,199,95,151,0.07400000000000001,0.7909999999999999,0.135,0.8446,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,3,5,8,0,1,3,0,10,3,1,0,2,29,26,12,0,5,9,0,2,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,12,2,1,0,6,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,2,4,18,5,21,21,3,12,0,2,1,0,8,5,0,8,9,81,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312097088492626,0.13652249353186208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338679652676224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356825920280153,0.0,0.0,0.3546108446209801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665313901531352,0.0,0.0,0.376085436426889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16592122340294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676296283028865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074572003559808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27051190620599336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031628121969302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778061673445874,0.0,0.3582117332100747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32151485380351075,0.0,0.0,0.1721677876592082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867518339414788,0.1051098377899074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493665687245161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631197928449553,0.16227312204970973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318762554497692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900330086329882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567271596365262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565810778149627
mentalhealth,TheKnowledgeableOne,2019/04/20,"Not sure what I should do in this situation So, I don't have what seen to be the usual problems for a lot of people. I have a smallish circle of really close friends. My parents are supportive of me, and they only ask that I try my best, which is very reasonable. While my academics went down, I've improved lately, and my overall record is phenomenal. While I have become overweight, I'm working on it and getting good progress.

But whenever I go to sleep, and there's silence all around, I feel very lonely. I have had some very unfortunate endings in some could-be relationships, but I'm not sure they are the cause. While I have been thinking of getting help, I'm not sure if it's not just the side effect of not having a romantic partner, which is probably not someone a therapist can help with.

It's a long shot, but anyone with a similar situation who has ideas?",6.103941176470588,6.220283276470593,6.727058823529411,77.11176470588238,66.23529411764707,9.858823529411763,34.05882352941177,9.642632912329526,3.120576470588235,687,29,132,13,10,226,103,170,0.102,0.782,0.117,0.5411,1,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,4,4,9,0,0,9,0,19,2,1,3,4,34,31,12,0,3,11,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,10,8,1,0,5,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,4,2,16,7,15,25,5,16,0,1,1,0,10,7,0,4,7,94,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911391667304503,0.0,0.0,0.1261863061096289,0.1325158059898056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655019165784476,0.0,0.0,0.14875641010701626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456148582580131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317472260763012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255471860494714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167235103648235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951461644340824,0.0,0.14811558568696598,0.0,0.08055899576151236,0.11889200014406492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19002219678539334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001691527155087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989859450519073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544305009494433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050959041859315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780619744714733,0.0,0.0,0.15739504506164007,0.0,0.0,0.09827063116298593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282896495079726,0.13563426626931535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080778259657496,0.14574116860475755,0.0,0.15218494805879812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186627300116187,0.14185096876289705,0.0,0.12010312846599593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085463105128656,0.4007891328467773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16458104943058108,0.0,0.09082677907857058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623799451917887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156116056389548,0.3508723194010455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140237196571114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031946687406572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ParticularPrimary,2019/04/20,"how to recover from years of social rejection and the deseprate need to feel accepted and loved within a friend group? i saw pics of my old ""friends"" who were actually quite toxic to me because i was clinging on to a dying friendship, trying so hard to fit in and being the only one who cares so genuinely about them. this was maybe 8 years ago. i feel like whenever i see people that LOOK like those friends or ACT like them, i become scared and anxious, and cannot be outgoing and comfortable.

​

its like those experiences chipped away at my comfort and extroversion towards others until i became a hermit. now I'm rebuilding but whenever i see girls that look like the girls that reject me (especially korean girls, blonde girls), i get almost intimidated. this is very unlike me as i am social and warm but those are my kryptonite. 

​

how can i stop this to be honest very racist way of being scared of people and rejection? im so scared. and i get so nervous.",6.254166666666666,7.258957532608694,6.615000000000002,74.94666666666667,66.06521739130434,9.611594202898553,31.09420289855073,9.725611199111238,2.980798550724638,782,29,137,16,12,253,109,184,0.191,0.645,0.16399999999999998,-0.9132,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,1,8,22,0,4,6,0,12,1,0,2,0,21,25,21,1,1,3,0,4,5,3,0,0,0,0,4,13,10,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,7,0,1,4,10,19,15,20,17,0,16,0,3,6,1,15,7,0,2,12,91,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.1132252579204044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285061055762036,0.0,0.11618391412271005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25142961932593466,0.28197012056310394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107707095954596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901084217912503,0.0,0.0,0.07072875927829379,0.12814230170656296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182968863204163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041732803989555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11349631199752545,0.0,0.0,0.11733310490744947,0.08288945064427987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689256692621849,0.0,0.12123825507684954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039370742753659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253286751891283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28342376365320826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948663013200864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471856733331963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656434907743835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603227907930558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12175043479545256,0.0,0.07862265011598463,0.08824348365732199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16087651805504116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123408607455404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484887054845653,0.0,0.1849164108513879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365490839440444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700346150660412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877446842265304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914682489878948,0.0,0.09209654161999327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28197012056310394,0.1494346966637571
mentalhealth,Masin_Morswin,2019/04/20,"Wierd mirror thingy + probably a panic attack Yeah so basically this has happend a couple of times already looking in the mirror but not to that extent. I was getting ready to go to sleep, turned off the lights except my bedside lamp. I looked at the TV which was reflecting me because of the lamp and I felt really anxious. I started moving my arm around in front of me and idk I felt like, the lag between the signal going from my brain to the actual movement being done, so it was like I was trying to move my arm but it would respond after some time and later in the mirror and I think that gave me a sort of a panic attack, I couldn't breath and felt like I had no control over it and was worried (don't know for what reason) that I'm gonna pass out puke and choke on it, so I just curled up sitting and didn't move for about 30 minutes. Previously I just felt the lag and felt kind of anxious about it but I would just stop looking in the mirror and it'd be fine. I don't really know what I'm asking for here, I guess I want to know of everything is ok with me?",1.7162000000000006,3.4422612755555555,3.4819444444444443,90.13625000000002,78.46666666666667,5.9222222222222225,21.027777777777786,6.742157984588678,0.3461777777777777,837,22,180,8,20,280,122,225,0.184,0.728,0.08800000000000001,-0.9755,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,10,10,2,2,14,2,18,5,5,2,0,41,42,16,0,4,8,0,5,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,13,13,0,2,11,1,0,8,6,4,0,0,14,9,23,6,33,21,2,26,0,0,3,0,3,11,0,3,9,123,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.10477637649331466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11848404551133852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24259217048819526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955809187234925,0.10037525364191008,0.2442948242745996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545097133942626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985899350654006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042314221361228,0.0,0.11880143957480326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987547178374854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649607674062437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5154540142964426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056095721452250766,0.0,0.12204022867010182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182787430474658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180799302404168,0.17702111142171026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736479039980655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704880341362461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423478524587135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519481033993319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576163315904354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756629471795756,0.11039291996530824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744625414738683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599612821342946,0.0,0.0,0.08976505234473048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879753641003855,0.0,0.0,0.12521512084368402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289630876632534,0.11678632885377715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332884919506943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903814061084696,0.0,0.15254330737308375,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,liltayusmc,2019/04/20,"I’m struggling with my crippling anxiety So I have crippling anxiety that leaves me depressed because I just want to feel normal. I’m in the marine corps and I’ve been seeing a therapist, but it’s really hard to get an appointment. But even when I do have appointments I get anxious having to go in there and get psychoanalyzed by a woman who I feel like doesn’t take my anxiety very seriously. She diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder but her only solution for me is to meditate and write in a journal but I’ve always kept a journal and I was a huge hippie so I know all about meditation.. but it wasn’t working anymore, hence why I started going to therapy. But a huge stressor for me is having a clean house.. I have a lot of pets so I’m aware that having an immaculate house all of the time is unrealistic.. BUT I’m so COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED 100% of the time. I’m able to bring myself to take care of my pets because I HAVE to and every few days I’m able to bring myself to sweep and mop and yada yada yada. I’ve been trying to clean my garage for months but I’m too tired to do it during the week and I always tell myself I’ll do it during the weekend but the weekend comes and I can’t move. It’s so frustrating and I’m at a loss. I also feel incredibly lonely but can’t bring myself to hang out with anyone but my husband and best friend (my best friend lives with us).. I feel like crying all the time and I just want to feel like a normal person. I want that more than anything. Does anybody have anybody advice??

TL,DR: I am at a loss with my anxiety.. I feel paralyzed. I just want to feel normal. What works for you guys?",1.1674071697810575,3.47563006824926,3.5787793728446573,85.6270655224958,83.62908011869436,6.610602293688348,21.86775202502205,7.824948511530503,1.1960062394738955,1291,43,262,25,37,446,148,337,0.149,0.696,0.155,0.6253,0,2,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,1,0,6,14,16,1,1,20,0,22,3,0,0,3,55,57,30,0,7,14,1,8,3,2,0,3,0,6,3,10,19,0,1,8,2,0,8,4,8,0,0,5,9,38,8,37,52,8,26,0,4,1,0,13,8,0,1,13,171,48,3,0.1877841281948775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917502383701036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508544973645333,0.15625143773100467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591358602032996,0.106071307116599,0.09311569803442038,0.06565151431615733,0.0,0.0772651686298575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144714615983343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970678571804826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572921692538362,0.0,0.0,0.08087969944841916,0.09844404283489036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313602357936176,0.060552613846186674,0.0,0.08086909722573474,0.0952984686464778,0.0,0.0,0.10760843988261767,0.0,0.08216557801912308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062014822819212015,0.0,0.07910811353361118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33232254123973753,0.20122952805519514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508155162469186,0.0,0.14716418471663134,0.0,0.10672204754008133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296790514575333,0.0,0.0,0.08410884715043443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166776715572216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051600622938344505,0.0,0.0,0.09941813893536824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761275953998156,0.0,0.08290841278039493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798236752836564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494374978003304,0.09979240502219304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759828629280849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140914568455052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198292878414383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014966050452605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481981883914042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06645728622796891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981563715473665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119029437944475,0.0,0.08206580248140698,0.0,0.10737375806994592,0.10901592314733446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642476529055842,0.10791511559940667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374654828520593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129405924842844,0.0,0.0,0.07747078605281181,0.2215198882566696,0.0,0.07531455033696488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472298387158601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670908182404345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,1BrokeStoner,2019/04/20,"Anyone got experience dealing with meth heads? My buddy's been doing meth for approximately 2 years. I didn't think it was serious, I been busy dealing with my own shit and he changes his number a lot so we lost touch for a year. He contacted me the other day. He's lost it, he thinks his own parents are trying to kill him, a biker gang is after him and the FBI are spying on him. He's sober right now, too. I need to snap him back to reality. I don't want to deal with cops or hospitals, what are my options? I need my boy back to normal 😞",0.9580553359683784,2.7922176434782635,3.3655335968379454,89.55407114624504,81.26086956521739,6.2687747035573125,20.019762845849804,7.348242739294969,0.4218695652173921,419,11,95,6,11,145,76,115,0.14800000000000002,0.841,0.012,-0.933,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,2,5,5,2,0,5,0,10,2,2,0,0,15,18,4,1,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,7,1,17,0,12,11,3,9,0,2,0,0,18,2,1,3,7,59,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062216006398553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652972291009714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182491430610604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11125390108252034,0.5335469765288469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16874670275192588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797104184880693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704379182847949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19085542168389505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3766274545545215,0.1466608080141597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558261703725287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902199141320542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19155060112629574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473215678336537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770777984192998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210733396855278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712214761346808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175015647764024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218001532325587
mentalhealth,SakkiOW,2019/04/20,"Visual disturbances causing anxiety. I'm 18 and I've been treating my health anxiety with a therapist for the past 3 months and I had been getting A LOT better. I could actually get through days without worrying about everything. But I feel like I'm going to relapse again because of this new problem I'm experiencing.

I've been experiencing ""scintillating scotoma"" for the past few months which is pretty much just a visual disturbance in your eyes (it looks like zig zag black and white lines) and it goes away within 30 minutes. It's very similar to a migraine with aura (the ""aura"" being the visual disturbance) but in my case there is no migraine.. it's only the visual disturbance.

I went to a doctor when it started happening. She said it might be the beginning of migraines or just something that will go away with time. She told me that if happens again or more frequently, I should see her again.

Scintillating scotoma is supposedly not dangerous (and relatively common) in most cases but always the ""what if"" kills me. What if it's a brain tumor? I can't help myself but think this way.

I suspect that the cause of this is because of my horrible sleeping habits over this semester. I sometimes got 2 hours of sleep 3 days in a row because of how much homework and tests I had to prepare for. I hope this is the cause of all this, but I can't help but question otherwise.

This happens maybe once every month at the moment. There is no pain or anything, but I'm always so depressed afterwards after experiencing this. I experienced one about an hour ago, hence why I'm creating this post. I don't want to see the doctor again, I've had enough of constantly going to the doctors. I don't know what to do.

Anyone experienced anything similar? I feel like I'm such an unlucky person, finally getting through my health anxiety and then I get this. Why can't I just be left alone from anything physical just for a minute.. 6 months ago I was told I had mild hearing loss in my right ear and panicked about that, now this? I'm so sick of all this.",4.0476752255378186,6.086974725190839,5.088133240805,79.79460097154755,72.74045801526717,8.224196160074023,29.720795743696502,8.927757054556999,2.6125613231552167,1629,70,299,34,33,534,194,393,0.16899999999999998,0.7759999999999999,0.055,-0.9931,0,1,1,0,0,0,47.0,0,1,0,2,19,16,2,4,22,0,27,15,5,4,2,50,61,26,1,8,19,0,2,3,0,3,10,3,1,1,27,11,0,0,6,0,0,4,9,10,0,1,13,16,31,6,41,41,9,48,0,2,6,0,12,12,0,11,33,199,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.08150240802557229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148068948241906,0.0,0.0,0.0865004023640884,0.0,0.0,0.13898884670111086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916752117363587,0.0,0.0,0.05839836350621658,0.0,0.2061868389944387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693752969395014,0.0,0.0,0.15273705629960366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386568845219446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323472447940356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573907795161415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025427064528764,0.0,0.06668305332295531,0.0,0.0,0.10772557469465388,0.0,0.07193471446013172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25645542893554363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629735963234264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036828348207519,0.0,0.07506141062134472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445934031606993,0.11933185141737156,0.0,0.09149088309870447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745407326080572,0.0,0.14239716306527506,0.0,0.06679770160759814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22156648781111127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775533907767038,0.09413188109272824,0.0,0.1119619292084857,0.0,0.0,0.08295312214172784,0.164498604712737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240129912046018,0.0,0.045899808509962135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074353965735303,0.0,0.0,0.12240936158774343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701348492921458,0.0,0.0,0.07100479028051779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390597040126124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860036470558692,0.0,0.0,0.2666559873149001,0.0,0.12279201673511506,0.0,0.0,0.08066308333443299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894491296550633,0.05659457463377534,0.06351989425974973,0.08887000833919913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945649915650076,0.0,0.07292549039135289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998802864127544,0.08496875665686576,0.0,0.0799163170155356,0.0,0.0,0.09356029295643856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132469246191334,0.0794456086708878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310751544879634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715845192257464,0.0,0.0,0.06429693697760279,0.08260233717095854,0.0,0.05911511408690336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697189126918587,0.0,0.05351554492823005,0.0,0.0,0.048700547831144164,0.0,0.0,0.15961179450097973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891184723078057,0.04926161678454126,0.06629342295809525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742286594269575,0.1507256507637492,0.0,0.0,0.08050924847864005,0.0,0.0,0.08481750680681352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,DanoLock,2019/04/20,"Support resources for family of sucicide victim. 
My uncle took his own life this week. Needless to say this came as such a shock to all of us. 
I am a licensed social worker and have dealt with this in professional situations but it so much harder when it is a personal situation. Any advice or resources for how to cope with this would be appreciated. 
Is there any thing that helped you if you had to experience something like this? Any thing worth reading?
Its hard not to dwell on him being gone or how it happened.",3.815668934240364,6.201370408163271,4.9117687074829925,79.24196145124719,74.51020408163265,7.620861678004537,26.19501133786848,8.515128840125781,2.0078671201814062,412,15,75,8,9,135,75,98,0.062,0.821,0.117,0.8296,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,1,2,0,1,6,5,1,1,3,0,8,1,0,2,1,13,13,10,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,12,4,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,3,0,0,4,2,7,2,14,6,3,7,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,3,3,59,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18618713483871852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887079489300395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179195697330552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863783273066716,0.1796180304095879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848814823369904,0.0,0.1706805948814825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771059137624854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457944853492215,0.09308504577628586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006404841705072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636650636735792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1905850649511586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15151988973950914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42833528280188704,0.0,0.194224912754776,0.0,0.14668199991088904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21621516227779092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531639874236314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21168973344643727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291883453949492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283448400800162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534953448240036,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Comprehensive_Corner,2019/04/20,"Questioning my own mental health after my twin brother's breakdown My twin brother came to me one night and said we need to leave because our dad's trying to kill him. My dad beat me and sexually abused me, so I believed my brother about everything he said. My brother was telling me that he's a psychic and other weird things about how certain people we know are demons, and I just believed a lot of it because he seemed like a smart person.

He went to the doctor for anxiety and put in a mental hospital where he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I missed the really obvious signs in him, and I'm wondering if I have it too. I believe in synchronicity  and psychic energy, and I feel I've had experiences where my brother sent me messages with his mind. I've done some reading, and the person who came up with synchronicity, Carl Jung, was mentally ill himself and believed he was literally talking to Greek goddesses. It's a brain defect where we see a pattern where there actually is none.

I'm questioning my own mental health and I'm wondering how I'll be able to tell if I have developed schizophrenia. Having a twin brother with it raises the chance I'll get it by 50% of what it is for the general population, so I feel my fears aren't unfounded.",8.271584699453548,7.131006868852463,8.492459016393441,70.39174863387981,62.278688524590166,11.903825136612024,39.185792349726775,11.038039088145766,4.327971038251366,1012,46,184,23,12,334,129,244,0.111,0.836,0.053,-0.9147,0,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,4,0,0,1,13,8,1,1,12,0,14,6,1,2,2,41,33,17,1,3,3,8,2,1,0,0,5,2,0,2,11,20,0,0,8,1,0,5,2,5,0,1,12,5,30,3,22,20,5,15,1,1,1,0,34,8,0,9,3,119,41,2,0.10359680186113568,0.1227452699310428,0.10109553459814027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792512698668527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630329772759502,0.0,0.0,0.4668724796099038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11564829239644338,0.0,0.23697428565244136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051485731935051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603571647723352,0.0,0.10601549634530152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310612555244298,0.10133755088792272,0.0,0.11657520371911405,0.10476331151320477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054125053172128935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22023711194706552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461451211618966,0.0,0.056934093012453765,0.0,0.0,0.10969405497361044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061216451276372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807429628564492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4176048401927388,0.0,0.10460323775122032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0768157159097221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721858070685548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701998740474109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182097835668001,0.1809134629404367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414339949911428,0.2321042546527473,0.0,0.10362483662699312,0.0,0.06636676401996308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19708856399771765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255323836017295,0.09431063759060804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326718515887181,0.18109634208102007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882511188202227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033542819103861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603527321721747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246926249494031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,I-am-on-drugs,2019/04/20,"Is this the right place to ask about being desperate? So I’ve been single for almost 4 years, like no relationship just one night stands. I definitely am desperate for something stable. The problem is I think I ooze it. Like people can smell that shit a mile away. I’m a nicer guy who will pretty much help anyone with anything...I think this adds to the problem. Anyways I don’t want to feel or act so desperate. Any advice?",1.7302409638554224,4.366392204819281,3.0012168674698816,88.32857228915665,84.78313253012048,5.729638554216868,20.34819277108434,7.1686216300943375,0.6802298795180728,335,10,65,5,10,108,63,83,0.188,0.601,0.212,0.3061,0,1,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,5,0,8,1,1,0,0,11,14,3,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,2,4,2,8,11,2,8,0,0,0,0,5,4,1,2,4,39,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129324191258966,0.0,0.0,0.21651879494910206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704088399692836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511900300506654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202141831967736,0.0,0.20315115361049207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933020579495066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140974282031849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493152226568362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21127390045172065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589507615071062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20291316267592052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652012361055744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14990366819668166,0.0,0.22590982491466294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21997926142145569,0.0,0.4137975671126856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23214547101563704,0.0,0.1846555579510926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22195256369242486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646110010898998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770973828749683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753551426499002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924225521894726
mentalhealth,myewelilyk,2019/04/20,Ignorance In my opinion society doesn't want to talk about what they know exists even thou they seek answers to its existence,3.7007246376811587,6.927137913043481,3.817391304347826,81.34898550724641,82.91304347826087,8.284057971014493,29.40579710144928,8.841846274778883,3.333388405797102,104,5,17,3,3,32,21,23,0.157,0.843,0.0,-0.4063,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,12,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5018416257679533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4175669513965885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6106995443057265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4481505219596584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Late_Night_Thinker,2019/04/20,"Concentration and thought clarity issues, developing on top of sexuality and anxiety issues. What can I do about them before they ruin my life? It's my first time posting about this so bear with me. 

For a while now, I have been very tired all the time, right after waking up, even after trying to take 9-10 hours of sleep. My job is research and development oriented but I have problems with concentration, blanking out and clear thinking and I have noticed I am much slower than others in completing tasks. My mind seem to constantly switching from one thought/task to another and I can go back and forth with my decisions for ours, unable to take a firm one. Eventually, my boss have complained about this and partly because of that I am about to lose my job. This confirmed that this is not just something made up in my head. I spend most of my time trying to keep up with the work, working overtime and on weekends but barely managing to fulfill expectations. In time, I started having procrastination problems in non-working hours as well. My work has been a large motivation in my life and before this I've been on the top of my class and was doing well in previous jobs, even though I had to put extra effort and time because of focus issues.

To give some background, I am 25 y.o. guy from Bulgaria, currently living in The Netherlands. Since I was 11 I have  known I am gay, still in the closet, with no relationship experience. Living in a homophobic country caused me a lot of stress and shame problems. I developed anxiety and had trouble making friends. Six years ago, in a matter of few days my vision became foggy and never went back to normal. It was a subtle change, so me and my family shrugged it off. My confidence has been consistently low and causes me to be indecisive and having weak opinions. The worst part is now I have no energy and willpower to change anything or take firm decision what to do.  I may have started to drift into a depression, as I experience a lot of emotional numbness and melancholy. In the past year I have developed a food allergy and weak stomach reflux, which doctors said to be stress related. I also started having suicidal thoughts every few days but they are just flashes and nothing I would consider serious. Today was the worst so far, I have never felt so mentally and physically weak, I just felt like sitting in a chair all day blankly staring into the distance. This pushed me to make this post, which took me almost 2 hours, switching sentences back and forth.

As everyone deals with life problems, I am not even sure how objectively serious this problem is.  **Has anyone dealt with anything like that and what did you attempt to do? How do I even start resolving these issues? Do you have any advice on improving concentration? Is this something I should go to a therapist for or should I be able to deal with it myself?**

I really want to be happy with my life and to be good at what I am doing, but things seem to be deteriorating. Please help if you can.",5.637500000000002,7.090174097517733,6.2909148936170265,75.07350000000005,67.77659574468085,9.257021276595744,31.6531914893617,9.57969875127883,3.0795944680851064,2397,99,419,51,40,783,273,564,0.16399999999999998,0.725,0.111,-0.9908,6,0,2,0,0,0,64.0,1,3,3,11,28,32,0,4,21,0,59,16,4,9,6,98,84,45,1,12,12,0,2,2,1,4,10,1,1,1,25,38,1,1,12,1,1,7,6,23,2,4,19,4,59,9,79,55,14,74,0,4,1,1,16,29,0,13,37,324,84,13,0.06473885255823962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326205746058902,0.057387086674034464,0.0,0.06482660932919991,0.0,0.0,0.05177163700132102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044024639729450935,0.06788433159185342,0.09905009001804316,0.0,0.0,0.045266910962018216,0.0,0.10654911909540853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934054457920584,0.0,0.07892840727039581,0.0,0.11017599057053053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330092694299712,0.13697024388221005,0.0,0.06787745519910074,0.06995970071673703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525361256525727,0.13348582862813704,0.05575947884564187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662629588134244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282249551668606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17103760619222935,0.0,0.054545275444132436,0.061860747941975075,0.0,0.12665404042762246,0.06103002858157836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431890172741533,0.0,0.0,0.05506683491418047,0.0782824774871043,0.0,0.05001707689482869,0.0,0.0,0.06210340644202681,0.07358516363258047,0.05429987801179585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410164226055727,0.0,0.06891571236231786,0.0,0.0,0.06644073988416907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04339308823334405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19126418736327325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27028216955546397,0.19272996538568735,0.05754286672435969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829078644688429,0.06325626654840558,0.0,0.11433118575937393,0.0,0.0,0.07242621645551217,0.0,0.11007731472347933,0.0,0.061257467610575586,0.08642737357610737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524153663808037,0.0,0.06536778611146694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04759050557815206,0.0,0.09986118823315747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343033014717989,0.062118675046139785,0.07370561272378147,0.0,0.0,0.08773744389627253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402117371308927,0.06180056012069651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106381939639024,0.0,0.0,0.12400385055812528,0.0,0.0,0.3097316936261046,0.0,0.06508042781208975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041473366681869614,0.0,0.0,0.06950529980832143,0.0,0.05528662635765588,0.061581473830950674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787163989552553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05355264782901894,0.0,0.06478560618331798,0.0,0.0,0.09967826310700686,0.0,0.0,0.18328997219906987,0.0,0.05170053127959518,0.0,0.14831627375142548,0.0,0.0,0.07081379715775657,0.0,0.061015602383291324,0.0,0.14602668082255948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751667975667412,0.04300961699963565,0.04148204267902472,0.06360559394136255,0.15418625259371566,0.18874872771385431,0.07440778754576287,0.061364862509870034,0.0,0.07192724724351024,0.08790686263430918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341633336166825,0.03818465256468212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641600654698635,0.060013564912297625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18852262279364448,0.0,0.0,0.04598862340895195,0.0,0.0,0.08337939700170012
mentalhealth,article13bad123,2019/04/20,"depersonalization and rollercoasters? so Im 14 and going on a final class trip for hershey park and stuff. I get DPDR frequently, would that fuck with me at all?",2.5730000000000004,5.5375846333333385,4.248333333333335,77.9625,86.0,7.0,20.833333333333336,8.07648339933343,1.5363333333333338,129,4,23,3,4,43,27,30,0.129,0.871,0.0,-0.594,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,3,1,6,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,15,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4615745972316739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3895365749192791,0.22014097368360105,0.0,0.23946616669217985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4551364842577444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4823514926792361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29931901528900023,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,admor36,2019/04/20,"It´s ok to don´t be the person you think you will be (sharing thoughts) I just wanted to share some thoughts that help me to fix lots of anxiety-depression issues that I had for lots of years.

​

It´s ok to be less creative than you thought you where

It´s ok to be slower learning or studying new fields

It´s ok if you study for a specific field and in the end, you can´t work on it

It´s ok if  you will never get a High-Level position at work 

It´s ok  to need more space for yourself and to socialize less than the average human

It´s ok to just to be different than the majority of people that you know

It´s ok  to have a different life that you planned in your head

​

I had to deal with big self-esteem issues for lots of years. I used to think that they were based on the bullying that I suffered as a kid but I ended realizing that it was myself who was being extremely hard with me all the time.  
I always compared myself with people that I admire that are top referents in their fields -work, personality, lifestyle...- and that was definitely a mistake.   
Is good to push yourself to be better, but in a realistic way, not looking forward to unrealistic expectations.  


When I started to be able to embrace my life and my person as I am and not as I would like to be, slowly but continuously, every day started to be better and better.  


I just wanted to share this in case it could help someone else :)",7.540186335403727,6.5586568695652225,7.7891511387163614,74.33152173913047,63.63768115942029,10.639337474120085,34.569358178053825,9.784248007369934,3.1327140786749483,1120,41,215,19,14,367,139,276,0.041,0.768,0.19,0.9901,4,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,10,2,8,6,19,0,0,12,8,24,3,1,1,2,43,38,16,0,9,11,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,5,15,9,0,0,9,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,9,2,30,17,45,15,9,27,0,1,1,0,25,13,0,7,14,154,45,4,0.10545250167019607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774492901338174,0.2285154830041352,0.2562726637615586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797925046619115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419524183549469,0.0,0.0,0.0680081397094765,0.10871689881816228,0.09082608516747548,0.0,0.0,0.22035083964897104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08809203377598203,0.0,0.18679923303807489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888482807862433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05509457973117788,0.0,0.0,0.08844855524090628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446472851427493,0.0,0.10822468976108957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136517805239598,0.11141635775865996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22013002864725786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057953937096770734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14896844106126933,0.051518765704452664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855354251175862,0.0,0.0,0.26895583770856474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819169380465348,0.08133147022857233,0.10184668322920548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621497389977225,0.2762311708974345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000995757806592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749554550608843,0.0893495624588548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927964688642434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351394101697358,0.0,0.2511525215021851,0.061490201750445825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107710349410704,0.0,0.0,0.12439723533037825,0.08370328741587679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303120314474081,0.0,0.0,0.07491043160642626,0.0,0.2562726637615586,0.13581590735906007
mentalhealth,Theoresis1994,2019/04/20,"No motivation How do you get past this? When you are so depressed you can barely motivate yourself to stand up from the couch on your days off from work? I don't want to be a lazy slob, I want to spend my time doing /something/, but there's just this psychic block preventing me. Even something as simple as making breakfast or switching away from scrolling endlessly through Twitter to open Reddit to make this post feel like huge chores. I don't want to live like this anymore",7.596923076923076,7.44981396703297,6.290417582417586,82.37958241758244,63.17582417582418,9.038241758241758,34.683516483516485,8.238735603445708,2.533314725274725,385,15,73,4,5,114,70,91,0.151,0.7190000000000001,0.13,0.3895,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,3,6,3,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,5,0,15,14,7,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,1,2,3,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,9,2,16,13,0,12,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,6,47,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462744034314792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333120985005397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601508571162072,0.0,0.21388432987903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401813889710368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556197338865813,0.17740539644300798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974100165212818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426407933045538,0.0,0.2192779555751701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315214070006525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370569392184519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378293433522379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823496730872716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480190983977448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4394104282109313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078556183639505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,morgangriggs,2019/04/20,So I feel and think I have autism not bipoler How do I get tested I have lots symptoms but I hidden myself cause I have a fear that noone can know how I am. I always feel out of sink in a conversation and keep telling myself blind be like everyone else so they dont come after u with fire and pitchforks. I need some one to validate these feelings cause this is my first step in advocating for myself which is a big step.,2.035431034482759,3.984163160919543,3.2995258620689683,90.7761853448276,78.3103448275862,6.189080459770117,21.219827586206893,7.1686216300943375,0.4684724137931031,333,9,72,4,8,108,63,87,0.128,0.7959999999999999,0.076,-0.6652,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,1,4,2,0,1,3,0,10,2,0,4,0,21,19,8,0,1,2,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,5,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,5,14,1,8,18,2,10,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,2,4,52,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19334451356367255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4774013286436855,0.0,0.20016002891380366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723275411506654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941093532214761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22203267024137524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614728180081997,0.3524689309301689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19764772985294288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140000382808468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20653478622885912,0.0,0.0,0.12770055093857288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352075620243662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975465940371398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17229411629103672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574550874062732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415139814940221,0.0,0.0,0.2030953812827748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888873816607914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,bambs01,2019/04/20,"Trauma therapy is triggering (of course) and I’m not sure what to do... Hi, 27 f here. I have been seeing a new therapist for about a year and a half. He’s probably the best therapist I have ever had. It took me awhile to trust him and really start doing the work I need to. Once I finally started opening up, he pointed out that a lot of my current issues (mainly severe anxiety and depression) are directly related to past traumas. It sounds dumb, but I had never labeled anything in my life as trauma, not even being sexually assaulted. We have been doing specialized trauma therapy for about 4.5 months now, and it never seems to get any easier for me to cope with. I have my sessions on Saturday morning, and afterward all I want to do is sleep so I don’t have to think about anything we talked about in therapy. So, I end up spending the rest of the weekend binge watching Netflix and sleeping. I know how important this trauma work is, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep falling apart every weekend.",5.2260093713393205,6.0646094923857925,6.4925888324873124,75.50460757516595,68.28934010152284,10.122452167122221,32.92034361577509,10.214889679676881,3.5206520109332287,798,35,145,20,13,270,122,197,0.142,0.7979999999999999,0.06,-0.9358,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,0,3,12,12,2,0,8,0,21,3,2,3,5,32,34,14,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,12,0,1,4,3,1,2,6,8,0,1,5,3,20,4,26,28,6,28,0,1,2,0,7,9,1,2,17,109,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115366283289222,0.0,0.10254233270911238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22061151520718364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066959065180554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545081948809885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872208569943322,0.0,0.0,0.08853396860486877,0.1212493365604706,0.11293679352100612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14683727472484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003180163042673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13990579993843733,0.0,0.11914335027076785,0.0,0.0,0.14733277379613133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467835460856586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395834802416152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699163987776583,0.0,0.09853684041883816,0.09939099665326527,0.2067640561793814,0.12945931798420382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275114829094895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795896694998599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267137200677753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452074988836935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587121453568784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681471285400984,0.12202748036810365,0.0,0.15143014761995086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2682790972850673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897522890494824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263337004316632,0.0,0.0,0.10773848064084507,0.0,0.0,0.4598686810892426,0.31126791559152384,0.0,0.08588917831515942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14892642129554975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906188367837387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951694289846572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631913274259549
mentalhealth,Bro_c0ly,2019/04/20,"Turned my life around and lost a lot of weight but feeling unhappier and more stressed than ever As a kid I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism which led to me gaining a lot of weight. At one point when I was 14 the hypothyroidism went away but I weighted 105kg (230lbs) while being 181cm (6 feet). It was then when I decided that I need to change something and over the course of 2 years, I lost 35kg (77lbs) with eating healthy (didn't do sports). I'm male btw. 

I reached 70kg (154lbs) but while I was skinny on the upper half of my body I had a lot of fat stored on my hips, belly, ass and thighs. This made me really feel insecure whenever being in public because those body parts really sticked out.

I decided to hit the gym when I was 17 and gained 11kg (24lbs) and started cutting down after a year so that I'm at 75kg (165lbs) now which is normal for my height. But I still have the same problem. While my upper body looks really athletic my lower body looks like that of an overweight person and I don't know what to do. And yes, I never skipped leg day. 

I can't buy clothes because of that and whatever I wear I'm always feeling insecure even though I'm an extrovert guy. It's really challenging me mentally and I just don't know what I can do.",2.3895472232048114,4.110533241245136,3.6585160948001416,89.63943314467636,76.50972762645915,7.474283692960737,23.744074991156698,8.296473431620573,1.2877719844357975,981,31,213,18,22,320,149,257,0.14400000000000002,0.76,0.096,-0.9391,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,5,11,9,1,3,12,1,18,19,12,2,2,37,37,24,0,3,5,0,6,1,0,0,4,0,0,4,12,14,7,0,7,2,2,2,5,7,0,2,11,8,27,2,27,23,6,32,0,2,2,1,5,14,1,3,17,133,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909920759552258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734908722084268,0.0,0.0,0.10274257223564176,0.0,0.0,0.1333235211108016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4858747742160165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11568303373474305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052489395796932,0.0,0.0,0.110992969068551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189741103865104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722279109908748,0.09891781004280747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587944050707806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108278590063073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019723773232566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724063291401928,0.053425303260364085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366122708026592,0.0,0.2387476846714436,0.2789089955232264,0.0,0.10347429472628028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102040657867265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108530739885521,0.08434127646806584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714462958147873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410174205998392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842075079072473,0.0,0.0,0.09548452150310616,0.0,0.0,0.1033757713406579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463791535125246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280222316378615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418678062327775,0.0,0.0,0.07740199417100939,0.0,0.0873310017504956,0.0,0.1252657220538541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744067997666308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894678002288347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994945943169936,0.0,0.10137313123661933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084200075492448
mentalhealth,maymay94,2019/04/20,"I’m having hormonal issues due to one of my medications, so I must stop taking it. I don’t know what I’m going to do without it I’ve been prescribed Solian and Zoloft. Since I started taking them, I’ve been feeling much better. I’m no longer throwing fits, I didn’t show symptoms of OCD and basically I’m a new, relatively happy person.

But due to the Solian (Amisulpride) I started having severe hormonal issues. My mother, who is a doctor (gynaecologist) told me to stop taking the Amisulpride and stay on Zoloft only. I’m scared. I don’t want to go back to being hysterical, having horrible thoughts that I can’t get rid of and living in an actual hell. What should I do? Now I have two problems - I have to deal with the hormonal issue AND I have to stop the meds that make my life better. I need some advice on how to handle this.",2.6664271457085817,4.6737643053892235,4.791520958083833,80.53945708582837,76.60479041916167,6.848542914171658,23.10938123752495,7.793537801064563,1.2900262674650702,657,20,123,10,15,227,96,167,0.163,0.764,0.07400000000000001,-0.9292,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,2,4,6,1,1,7,0,18,6,0,2,1,22,38,8,0,5,2,1,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,8,6,0,3,3,1,0,3,6,3,0,2,5,1,17,3,17,30,2,18,1,0,0,0,6,4,1,1,10,82,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.13552760090313012,0.0,0.0,0.1357126842777597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679074203349903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24565751583297876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431799789901809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215035630731335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702222918573552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255947193248166,0.0,0.1578582878974025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784116560595126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4348663347572905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763252409341873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980955973414377,0.0,0.0,0.12263426719665325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927039945736618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426523065557882,0.13990776805462826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209334816798066,0.10297833361566253,0.0,0.13413191622921006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410920621930738,0.10562508626669426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212653343239048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289014374558394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904388197364487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568957429361285,0.0,0.11488361078969613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19660105224864213,0.14802842561347762,0.0,0.3483316353281636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435029990883216,0.31326317268367715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11025582083045438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13270653044860944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356663353031504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819154783417378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387610944452766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,SleepyLocke,2019/04/20,"My Favorite Lip Shade Today, I got ready for work and put on mascara. It has become my new habit; the bare minimum but enough to feel like i'm putting in any actual effort. 

It hasn't been easy yet. At some point I had blue hair. I was in college, I was content. My car broke down, so my mother said she'd help me get a new one. Ended up using my car as the down payment.. then she took the new car and kicked me out. I ended up being homeless; I moved in with an old friend with my cat. I tried working but I was having extreme IBS pain and sleep paralysis and had to get on medication; so I ended up having to quit my job. Got on medication, started buying a car and got a new job. Then my friends mother tried putting me in a legal contract, took two car payment's from me then took the car.. I ended up at my original mother's house again, and today I woke up to the new's she wants me to move out because she doesn't like living with people. I told her I just cannot afford to live on my own and she told me to figure it out.

So I sat down on my bed and cried, buried my head in my hands. I had a car, a job, and a plan to go back to college and again it's all flushed down the drain. I just don't think I can do it again. I mean i'm so mentally and physically exhausted. I have held onto the edge for so long I just don't have the strength needed to do this again.

When I cry, I put on more makeup. So I cried, and I put on eyeshadow and eyeliner. I smeared concealer over my face until I was hard to recognize. I grabbed my shoes and headed off to work. 

I thought it was over. But my shaking hands were reaching for my lipstick as I began sobbing again; and I know it's just a sign. It's all become too much for me. I'm at my limit and theres not enough makeup in the world to cover it up anymore.",1.3241836734693884,2.543381775510205,3.335459183673468,92.96757653061223,78.18367346938777,6.226530612244897,21.943877551020407,6.770275591412753,0.31939897959183705,1384,38,330,13,32,470,174,392,0.094,0.83,0.076,-0.8317,4,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,0,8,20,10,0,1,18,0,25,13,9,2,2,46,53,32,0,2,8,3,6,2,2,0,4,1,1,0,10,22,0,2,6,0,1,19,6,5,0,2,24,8,61,5,57,27,8,82,0,2,1,0,15,35,1,1,30,223,71,9,0.0,0.0,0.07639203606163728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053234511564615165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077634806942881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06019410188115892,0.0,0.047720040816163004,0.17291285553741928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579676289323545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773388165751749,0.1617726682870413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03958178124714373,0.055924746995926436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096111063027253,0.0,0.08179833125565904,0.0,0.04448952073720421,0.0,0.1878280367535052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012538431810415,0.0,0.16068003542840112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247084068326864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032703161372263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330487116810805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04302179422496458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648935854556901,0.0,0.138249054799919,0.0692771940089587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527215473370159,0.0,0.1577219576132185,0.07888994340434702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640296452269346,0.0575463498426138,0.0580451843219584,0.0,0.3780266939470951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214389418262595,0.0,0.053045976076680816,0.0,0.08329767237939757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054270950645000086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400188633900187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3934756545747663,0.0,0.08326264796567742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446420234137087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07833863315590739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540847241835604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050160007993049885,0.0,0.0621472422204661,0.0,0.0,0.14840455267859326,0.14960380014239294,0.2609228762842621,0.1062968129727732,0.0,0.07647023565506851,0.0,0.0,0.06761059906226127,0.0,0.0,0.04617281006812077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709709006985838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,TheFinalSS,2019/04/20,"I don't know if this is a serious mental illness or not.. 20 something male, happily in a committed relationship. 
Yet I enjoy looking at other women, I mean quite excessively too. 
My partner, absolutely gorgeous. Hour glass figure, beautifully shaped and coloured eyes, plush lips, awesome hair, angled jawline etc. One of the most attractive women I've ever come across. 
I love her curves, I love her walk, I love her body absolutely. 
I love her, I adore her personality, I crave her happiness, I desire her very soul. 

And yet, my eyes wander constantly. If I was dissatisfied sexually, I would understand. But I am not, she wants more than what we currently have. Whenever I want, she is ready to go. 
And yet, I ogle, I stare, I practically drool over others. 
While driving, while walking, in public, online content, at work - there is absolutely no boundary for this. My eyes never stop searching for more. 

It's caused a rift between us before, to which my response was less than polite. We have since moved past it, and I have changed this perversion somewhat. But I cannot stop, if I'm not doing it consciously, I'll do it without realising. 
Is this a sign of something much worse than just perversion? 
I can for sure state I am not misogynistic, I treat all equally. I do not want to hurt or control them, I hate it when I see others doing the very same thing as I think it's sick. But I objectify from a distance all the same..",4.326916553595655,6.320961332089553,5.495983717774763,77.35627544097693,71.8731343283582,8.604070556309363,29.719131614654003,9.218907990703514,2.752322388059701,1119,47,204,25,22,371,160,268,0.092,0.6829999999999999,0.225,0.9902,1,0,2,0,0,0,54.0,3,0,1,3,8,14,1,0,8,0,19,13,7,2,6,48,36,16,0,8,15,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,16,7,0,3,6,0,0,6,10,3,0,1,2,9,44,11,21,33,12,28,1,1,7,4,24,7,0,7,14,150,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325916806470775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14784523217864048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673141600564387,0.14080323481900814,0.11465474660017785,0.0,0.14383492193176514,0.14928411621834078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484428254193231,0.0,0.12039749637942362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564437924972607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416885150444122,0.0,0.13140970520332956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107769747389894,0.0,0.14248739904574415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314884189425422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177133780492872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4805154830597348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498603503101698,0.0,0.0,0.13413452649035806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414653242837377,0.09784456743522214,0.0,0.10265571512152856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019269853947408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127059988096449,0.0,0.1162186802051743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156932274582046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429006881011729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060642834750362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11010254247533482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20493534199554211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22255683185555405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544613992782186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842640606062108,0.08528576179114841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856286003680926,0.16010414356717392,0.0,0.0,0.21964456852282088,0.2355192974397043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830463740847806,0.0,0.09689913069270836,0.0,0.13564131458783268,0.09455114858994022,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Doobydoodaa,2019/04/20,"Feeling really lonely and don't know how to tell my friends Im new to reddit and don't usually post but thought it might be good to give it a try.

Ive been struggling recently and have been feeling really lonely. I have a few friends from college but very few close friends who I see outside of college (uk). I only really meet up with one friend and its always nice when we do. Ive had the past two weeks off college for Easter and have spent most of it at home on my own. I tried asking people out to meet or go drinking but no one was free or wanted to go out. I always seem to be the person that starts conversations and asks about maiing plans.

I want to talk to my friends about how im feeling but have no idea how to broach the subject. The one friend i normally talk to doesnt seem to interested in meeting anymore. Its really getting me down.
I don't know how to stop feeling like this and want to try and be more open with my friends",3.3698259608411902,4.272837487309648,4.453187092095722,88.19818527918783,72.60406091370558,7.455982596084119,26.761783901377807,7.7094869923839395,1.3186565627266131,743,25,162,9,14,243,107,197,0.09,0.6809999999999999,0.228,0.9839,0,4,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,1,7,15,0,1,6,0,19,1,0,4,0,42,40,19,0,4,6,0,4,1,7,1,0,0,1,1,8,15,1,1,10,1,2,2,6,3,0,4,6,5,16,13,29,30,5,21,0,2,1,0,20,10,0,6,9,106,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17258821031774454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102851352343488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390762660475164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015952306760878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20975332533141075,0.0740896523672736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5608766228344586,0.0,0.05418361505861001,0.09948701818941336,0.11788030531979578,0.08698609723583073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402847345956312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707471431486095,0.22404679737262198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399138841258165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050666925545946116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001874424442212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100162693063699,0.0,0.0,0.1016126935807264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21082748540410567,0.0788752848164684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900187125134788,0.07189868676960494,0.09055460327873116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932444967853588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657542844647034,0.0,0.10240001821098926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08264255879664659,0.18882535844871792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734056867521759,0.0,0.0,0.0867052765530962,0.0,0.10841905036296554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16671455613407402,0.09064614178423716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233327496384511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21123458783306207,0.0,0.1013085168993291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422069142348065,0.08557069625037175,0.18351057253865088,0.0,0.08318901664072949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,nomelaninnative,2019/04/20,"It seems impossible to make friends again and it's starting to really get to me(this is kind of a rant... Just need to get it out)... I'm on my third year in college, I started college a year after all the friends I had in highschool, due to family situations. My friends from highschool and I started to grow apart a while back, anyway, because I was homeschooled my last 2 years of highschool. But growing apart from your highschool friends is a usual thing. 
Anyway, when I finally did get to college, I made a handful of good friends my first semester, 1 super close one. 
Well, my second semester, a guy and I started dating and all my good friends (not really my close friend) became his friends too, (especially since one was his roommate). 
I ended up making a second really close friend during this time as well. This really close friend turned out to be toxic, emotionally manipulating, lied about a lot, made their entire personality about their mental health struggles... And finally, after a really tough time, a lot of crying, justifying their actions to myself and others, hating myself, etc... I burned that bridge. 
A few months after this, school went on break for summer and my boyfriend at the time went back to his hometown for an internship. He asked me if we could have an open relationship (he had asked before) I said fine but I probably wouldn't do anything. Well, I started hanging out more with a guy friend I had met right before summer, who was kind enough to drive me back and forth to work since my bf at the time wouldn't. The guy friend and I ended up sleeping together after a while of hanging out everyday and getting close. I told my bf at the time, because I thought that's what you were supposed to do in an open relationship. He freaked out on me, started cussing me out, calling me a bitch and a slut, asking how I could cheat on him. I asked him how it was cheating if we were in an open relationship? He said it was because I said I wouldn't do anything. 
SO ANYWAY, we broke up, and our mutual friends sided with him. So I lost all my friends except my last/first close one.
That friendship ended because, after long deliberation, I decided worrying about them to the point of sickness due to not hearing anything at all from them for weeks to months on end after they would say something scary about their mental health, was not a healthy relationship. 
But. Now, I have no friends. I have classmates. I have coworkers. I have my boyfriend's friends (whom I only like one of). But... I don't have any friends. And I'm scared I don't know how to form healthy friendships... My current romantic relationship is amazing and super healthy. But, I would like to have friends outside of that... I just... Don't know what to do. I kind of feel hopeless. And I'm sorry this was so long, I just needed to get that out. I'm about to start seeing a counselor but, it was kind of gnawing at me...",4.406623507228158,6.104289052252255,4.794351560863189,83.67820238843497,71.0900900900901,7.469097003980725,29.6637335009428,8.057270187336151,2.0032086737900694,2284,93,436,32,43,722,218,555,0.114,0.732,0.155,0.9665,1,0,2,0,0,1,100.0,4,2,7,5,27,45,4,2,27,0,39,6,2,8,4,80,82,33,0,11,15,0,2,2,20,5,3,5,0,4,21,36,0,0,6,0,0,8,10,12,3,8,25,8,74,33,76,49,11,97,0,3,1,1,66,38,1,5,52,307,95,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03193284965948274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592657051823314,0.0,0.17559646146449928,0.0,0.0,0.1083227298944335,0.0,0.11449992452939525,0.0,0.0799150967411498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047949067007927566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498381294475524,0.0,0.051580833996578784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05282109780916755,0.16636235543711886,0.04851986186773991,0.05237025380204671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044267545160755865,0.0,0.023743226577469426,0.0,0.0,0.10287974114199852,0.0,0.07988439979722285,0.0,0.0,0.6530293154171121,0.0,0.12266731381638868,0.0,0.0,0.07877179014909587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948653193836252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046361012020016884,0.0,0.0998276891823446,0.052924746335552615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19559689491306706,0.051613453253891176,0.07655359389956426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045882325491448016,0.0,0.0,0.08311218253345833,0.0,0.0,0.05125988206861383,0.07984352316307461,0.0,0.08886503175268752,0.06268926546203013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464464417292064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496238428293579,0.0,0.0,0.06963708654151006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727902477633354,0.035713450660215036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041001656777220036,0.0,0.0,0.04439020931211506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050628348169852434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041154127137474,0.0,0.0,0.2520750087855498,0.0,0.040101623511480784,0.1340025920305908,0.03734265177332905,0.04701285455930868,0.047523704428839735,0.03741921126352274,0.04274853103888702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07768779767423274,0.052782427889170085,0.04699161730939505,0.0,0.0,0.036150335467539235,0.0,0.0525653062819475,0.2326583371042197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0490903888939961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03119661266966663,0.0,0.0,0.0372791725564872,0.1369070770946732,0.0,0.0,0.04487009947142803,0.0,0.0,0.051076498813424014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051717277940991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037666638519068665,0.0,0.12666184861027038,0.08706052599867166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034185768515520694,0.047687828825417874,0.0,0.06671481272257745,0.0,0.0,0.0907176673852189
mentalhealth,leSchieber,2019/04/20,"empty brain so I have no idea if there's like one word to describe this and I'd just like to know if anyone else might feel the same way or something similar.

It just feels like I don't usually think about anything. I'm in general not a creative person, but sometimes I feel like I haven't even learned how to think properly when I have to come up with something. when I go on with my day, I have difficulties holding a conversation not because I feel anxious or I'm scared, but because I literally can't come up with anything to say, and this happens even when talking to my best friends. I hear a lot of people talking about how they're always thinking about things, never able to shut their brain off, but I feel like mine is just empty all the time.

Maybe connected to that, I don't have good days or bad days, I just have days. I feel like I'm rarely in a happy or a sad mood for a whole day, I might have some good or some bad moments, but they don't usually impact my mood at all. Feels like time is flying by without anything happening.

Just putting this out there in case anyone can relate / has some advice / something else to say :)",5.7848751248751284,5.417167467532469,5.9495238095238125,84.05637362637364,66.96536796536796,8.839294039294039,31.622044622044626,8.139509932561175,2.0549331335331336,899,32,189,10,13,286,117,231,0.151,0.711,0.138,-0.5019,0,0,3,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,1,18,18,0,1,8,0,17,2,2,2,3,55,37,19,0,2,19,0,7,7,1,2,0,3,0,1,6,8,0,1,13,0,0,4,10,4,0,1,0,10,21,12,28,35,9,29,0,1,0,0,10,10,0,13,21,122,27,1,0.08971773660777006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876711338590502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465234399569487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135550522835417,0.0,0.125465454954865,0.0919264235062556,0.22149015834483898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14982112511025267,0.1093821990123442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415322942537424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20030933098244472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456777187257129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893025897442371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989531321455746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851543776261207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31754788341675083,0.3204718447952117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931570074869495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050988657260247205,0.15050196167483065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15867419636975158,0.09550619891350456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1011184096434413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012804041497395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04930652171811757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068208800204404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627481132730375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013352530591917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19035268112898548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919584939493242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060795060238698385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219898204728552,0.07833806703148229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901911054959364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426942903135386,0.08982310573007425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20720729055807707,0.08873313558166948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442234364757288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960447763733591,0.17246250892449622,0.0,0.0,0.10463026741383298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19762282329420766,0.0,0.0,0.07121376330235094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016664891748886,0.0,0.08648469650499341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Sadmind,2019/04/20,"I feel like my life is falling apart, and could use some advice on dealing with it. I was actually pretty happy and had my life together up until the new year. I had an awesome girlfriend whos family liked me, I was getting out more, I had lost a bunch of weight in the fall and finally started feeling better about myself. 

Right after new years my girlfriend started having an episode with her own mental issues, which led to her calling it quits on our relationship in late January. Soon after I got sick and had to miss work, my relationship with my family became strained from my mother constantly picking fights and disrespecting mine and my brothers boundaries. I've gone months without seeing any of my friends outside of work, and then just recently I was sick again, missing even more work. 

I'm unbearably lonely, stressed over all my lost wages, I now have to work with my ex, and just found out shes seeing someone new. I'm a grown man and I've broken down in tears almost every day for the past two weeks. 
I live in a small town with limited options for professional help. None of which I really have access to.

Tl;dr: I'm lonely, broke, and fighting with my family",6.293125,6.971867062500002,6.558928571428575,76.53607142857145,65.875,9.257142857142858,31.625,9.23628265651192,2.7710035714285715,938,35,167,16,14,302,138,224,0.171,0.722,0.107,-0.8923,1,4,0,0,4,0,24.0,1,0,0,9,7,16,2,2,8,0,13,5,0,3,1,33,32,12,0,1,3,3,3,2,3,0,4,0,0,1,4,18,1,1,3,0,1,5,2,11,0,1,12,5,28,5,33,19,7,42,0,7,2,0,19,15,0,3,24,110,32,6,0.0,0.0,0.11133160929435547,0.0,0.0,0.1114836493940387,0.0,0.0,0.11424078311653367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758248304451018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089991407907918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649469802448195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232865806060044,0.0,0.09108849442554616,0.0,0.0,0.07357611807710082,0.11761779426098205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535281528667112,0.0,0.09612248807277902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226507601243685,0.0,0.1153707541300793,0.08150315665644164,0.0,0.1249757828988881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125089556929426,0.08814266383497793,0.0,0.059605296086999715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124510302572544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144681066573595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646953053565247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190762829953528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869412797002766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16116482021281206,0.11147344435092998,0.0,0.10074014614481427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490769833484533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497198934794745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106246341343792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305552963091389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890812365916357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606661260095845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134464624884338,0.0,0.0,0.07308649854191619,0.0,0.11264629349994415,0.2449716239370095,0.0,0.09742893475881492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818237554335589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666481079608108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16150150515428674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068528060943205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144557518702836,0.0,0.0,0.0985337894762176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151301482364084,0.13892617577063446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099749616403214,0.0,0.3322242561501347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469354591860179
mentalhealth,inthemindofyou,2019/04/20,"Awakening the population to mental health Depression : the unspoken illness

https://inthemindofyou.wordpress.com

Check this page out to take a step forward and show our support to our friends. Let us be more aware of this serious issue.",10.344166666666666,13.909440638888887,8.756666666666668,53.655,59.27777777777778,11.466666666666667,39.77777777777778,11.20814326018867,5.6883444444444455,197,10,25,6,3,60,31,36,0.17800000000000002,0.688,0.133,-0.2441,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,5,2,2,3,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883967906561016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586961849912533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3559187553214642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34948546814411496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34239609850709063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374394842530966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3799719228587785,0.0,0.0,0.2517576501266064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4027707186633592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,dw1999a,2019/04/20,"I keep thinking, if something right now doesn't happen, then something positive in the future won't happen? Hi Everyone,
I'm really embarrassed to ask this, and I'm struggling to put what I'm saying into words.  

I recently went for a job interview, and it's for a job I really want.  However when I really want something, like a new job, my mind always tells me that 'if something doesn't happen right now, it's not going to happen for you'.

You're probably thinking WTF is he on about, right?  Well let me put it into words.  For example, I applied for a job two months ago, and everyday things would cause me to think whether or not I got the job or not.  Like if I stood in front of two lifts, I would think to myself 'If the comes on the right side, that means I'm not going to get the job'.  Stupid things like that!  Another one being like 'If this television ad doesn't last for 30 seconds it means that I'm not going to get the job'.
This runs through my head at LEAST ten times a day, but with different situations.
To make matters worse, when I was thinking about the lift as mentioned above, the lift actually did come on the right side - meaning in my 'thoughts' that I didn't get the job!  And I ended up not getting the job!

So now I'm literally believing everything my mind is telling me.  And I recently applied for a job I really want, just finished my interview and today my mind was telling me: 'If there are no notifications on your mobile it means you're not going to get the job'!  (And there were no notifications on my mobile so I'm telling myself I'm not going to get the job!)

And when posting this post, my mind is telling me 'If you post this post, you're not going to get the job!'.

This isn't for just job applications, but for other situations as well.

How can I stop this?  I know how absurd it sounds, I really appreciate you reading and your assistance!",3.877164444444447,4.99249093866667,5.150933333333335,82.87057777777778,71.61333333333334,8.755555555555556,27.222222222222214,9.150863307647796,2.0823955555555558,1462,50,303,30,27,487,149,375,0.068,0.871,0.06,-0.7788,16,0,4,0,0,0,46.0,0,5,0,0,18,9,1,2,20,0,19,1,1,4,0,66,66,31,0,12,23,0,0,4,0,3,0,2,0,0,22,14,0,2,11,1,0,13,17,3,2,5,9,2,37,6,39,52,1,57,0,0,0,0,17,19,0,9,25,192,59,17,0.0,0.0,0.04833275152590597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043904099629993865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041211747942277166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05193503678716616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04630253837737725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05580175138537768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050879497071667695,0.0,0.08532897580254355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03194183804402735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05174682665192881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043867622860585966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047326682677886735,0.04451309595180492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811364794385445,0.0,0.16888940749501313,0.0,0.039612531611196905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519184624961548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0508306142100242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6880926545988897,0.044023279453299625,0.0,0.0,0.027219613426668288,0.04037240488672776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05064633084057151,0.0,0.09678865367526077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033060713133927014,0.0,0.0,0.21580458274457848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000389955553192,0.0,0.03953324168576215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04783501320468158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033561849026968016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897387626708061,0.0,0.053400188467732784,0.0,0.0,0.09957980975247638,0.0,0.0,0.04954198521738856,0.0,0.15864638966033615,0.0,0.09780699926203466,0.0,0.0,0.21148569238234535,0.0,0.03938711640148103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113444028475959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251808893009647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04140811236170807,0.0,0.051778027797767835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164508189913026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580917830959579,0.15867957760082624,0.0,0.03932016177495902,0.028880514508965775,0.0,0.046947304586437935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676445581478556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763972285571914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906428686643032,0.04591349179349066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05047385648433512,0.07036736732992085,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,hakfleisch,2019/04/20,"From depression to aggression Hey, 
I'm L., 22, male.
I've been struggling with depression for quite some time now, recently admitted to myself that I'm narcissistic with help of my therapist and now I'm just falling apart. I saw the signs of my narcissism for forever, but tricked myself into not admitting it to myself to an extent where I forced myself to act pretty much contradictory to everything I felt, because it's not what I believe to be noble and loveable.

Anyway, I got the word out to my peergroup that I'm probably narcissistic, to constantly confront myself with it and since then, I changed. First it was relieving to be able to blame my behaviour on yet another mental disorder, but now, everything I do just feels unjustified, like it's just my disorders and not me acting in the real world. I'm usually a very chill dude, I try to care as much for my peers as I can, given my depression but now I don't wake up kinda down and lacking energy, I wake up and I'm upset. I'm fucking mad, constantly. I complain about everything all the time now, whereas before I would've been like ""Man, this sucks. But okay, we'll make it work."". Now I'm like ""Man, fuck this shit, why is this the way it is?! Fucking idiots, I hate everything!"".

I had a very bad phonecall with my grandma the other day where she was guilttripping me for not calling enough (and I know why and what' s at play here, it sucks and it's my bad for not calling her), and I snapped and called her out on her bullshit because everytime we talk, I feel miserable afterwards and I've just had it at that point. I tried my very best to be constructive and I think I did a fairly good job at that, but I was so fucking close to throwing my phone out the window, jumping after it, crawling through the microphone, sending myself to her home and hitting her with a brick. That's the only way I could discribe how mad I was.

After that, after crying a lot, I fell into a pit of aparthy. I was with some friends while this happened, and afterwards it felt like everytime someone asked me something or just talked to me, I would find one thing to circle around and my brain just endlessly turned around that one point, so I couldn't, for the life of me, give an answer. I felt like I never wanted to decide anything, or influence anyone ever again. My friends are all out of town for easter, not me because my family, obviously, has issues, and I just wanna run op the wall and smash my head with a hammer NO MATTER WHAT I DO. Everything is enraging and tick's me off, I just had a fight with my laundry, because it smelled kinda off. I went into a frenzy of smelling shirts, smashing them against the wall, throwing them around, beating myself and screaming like a lunatic.

So now, I went over to my friends house (got their keys for the weekend), to smoke pot and hopefully calm down enough so I can catch up with everything I should be doing for my study. I just wanted to vent this out because I feel like I can't talk to anyone, my therapist is on vacation and my friends, supportive as they are, have seen enough of my bad side recently and I want to spare them from this shit.

Please disregard any bad spelling, I'm from germany and I'm just way too enerved to concern myself with spelling right now.",6.663876592890674,6.2544414194053255,6.931224681421863,77.8870985915493,65.1658841940532,10.370149787614578,34.37607869438855,9.888512548439397,3.198455005589091,2573,103,499,49,35,834,281,639,0.193,0.6809999999999999,0.126,-0.9955,1,0,2,0,1,1,87.0,2,0,5,5,35,49,17,3,25,1,35,12,7,3,5,111,81,41,0,10,23,0,6,7,4,3,1,1,2,3,31,47,0,1,13,2,0,12,11,29,0,3,21,11,90,20,89,50,13,82,0,4,2,4,36,38,8,8,36,356,121,2,0.06430609257143563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043730348098451936,0.06743054501265107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08992863023414796,0.0,0.052918434952105166,0.17173816821576512,0.06011751586988918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21477160491947034,0.19600198581987585,0.0,0.05471974841077418,0.07245094528374914,0.06748527678309002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717868666114112,0.19699113110282648,0.0,0.06556434715298466,0.0,0.06802731925699287,0.0,0.0,0.13898408182360766,0.0,0.05134318228391505,0.0,0.0706372231082427,0.04147210979827097,0.0,0.166160229909411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740070661090393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19933615118514675,0.0,0.0,0.05816854232414281,0.0,0.0,0.34676501713452434,0.0,0.06062206098067205,0.0,0.09754527775802384,0.045940285381998465,0.185231800231642,0.0,0.05877460360719777,0.054698729490480526,0.0,0.0,0.19873091041012592,0.2377997854708863,0.0,0.061688263629167135,0.0,0.05393689946702316,0.10286291340546194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05686566528678845,0.0,0.0,0.06348895308282655,0.06599660328644896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043103018336378335,0.0,0.0645042540474515,0.06387045971808306,0.0,0.07420059692617786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067118853397217,0.06381387428428757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0353409467276526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542129494029778,0.21991696022941146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05467074029660248,0.0,0.0,0.04292481613642565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480541635761711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945447543876977,0.0,0.04959682293594857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715094516232277,0.04890768114408835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058877888626447,0.12158008609203334,0.0,0.0,0.06542241460274116,0.06933284416286989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06839744504311689,0.0,0.07319441174161892,0.0,0.0,0.1269890169389601,0.0,0.0,0.05491705169348567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201855984239486,0.053194664295916363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05448634355461948,0.049505971772921695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722669030527112,0.0,0.0,0.07297379178839099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506040401228025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493286597341774,0.04272211049388683,0.04120474755356311,0.0,0.0,0.07499479942860365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731923138645255,0.06994656275838866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07082407587110913,0.1591777831507881,0.11378819853612145,0.15312954924293118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11922478413778707,0.11605249274572245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04681560127387124,0.0,0.0,0.091362406261634,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,AlertWishbone6,2019/04/20,"Anxiety is ruining me Hey guys, I suddenly got the courage to post something here though I’ve been lurking for a bit! Hah 

Anyway. I have depression, OCD, anxiety, panic disorder, and cptsd. I feel like my anxiety is just absolutely the worst thing ever. I’m on meds for depression and that is pretty well controlled. However the anxiety is crushing. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with crushing chest pains, racing thoughts, and I am always feeling like I’m going to have a panic attack. I’m exhausted physically but I’m also exhausted of living like this. I’ve been in therapy for so long but the anxiety is just SO strong. I feel like it is just ruining my life and I can’t imagine this going on forever. I’m only 24 and I just want it to be over. This doesn’t feel like living it just feels like marking time. Does anyone have any similar experiences?",1.9647647058823523,4.618204476470588,4.245000000000001,79.76750000000001,83.64705882352942,8.105882352941178,26.14705882352941,8.841846274778883,2.7070823529411765,691,30,125,20,20,238,93,170,0.206,0.63,0.16399999999999998,0.1385,1,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,13,20,1,2,8,1,16,6,2,1,1,23,31,11,0,1,7,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,8,6,0,1,7,0,0,2,2,11,1,0,5,5,10,9,15,25,2,15,0,4,0,0,2,7,0,0,11,78,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982932717198512,0.09346658753658063,0.0,0.0,0.07638745836421426,0.0,0.42965624896206905,0.0,0.0,0.0785429318135816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277902638617112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122633992730385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598633773129786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349731854284388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287385743391187,0.0,0.09829971873461024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160786040140826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987915289346968,0.0,0.0,0.28398416535931703,0.4012387037209243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767812883309965,0.0,0.08983962918945591,0.0,0.0,0.1112232049903738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793411767107227,0.32926916315066684,0.0,0.1983768350086699,0.09940748242849372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477201074746312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541300041274036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543113923249489,0.11952579809047398,0.2635873658679549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757997146282586,0.11427880611199992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647622353863432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128457810097767,0.0,0.07462628537134071,0.0,0.11036250810422124,0.0891765461547334,0.06549984585061942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625445604692562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009971110233424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,ErMagno,2019/04/20,"falling back into old habits and mind spaces crossposting this from r/depression I tried to many times to get help on this site without any success, so I'm posing here as well for this time

I really thought I got out of my depression, I thought I was finally clean but I'm getting myself in old habits again.

I went to therapy, and started my 'antidepressants journey' but it really wasn't for me, felt overly medicated and being a creative guy, losing my ability to abstract thinking was terrible for me (also my dick stopped working for a good 3 months)

back when I started taking medications I thought there was something wrong with me, that I must've been an obsessive, depressed motherfucker, but no, now I see why and what brought me in that situation, and problems didn't go away at all, now I know how to cope healthy and how to push through them, but there is silence around me, a lot of silence, I am just 18, and I see my father once a week, I fucked up all my friendships when I was using psychedelics occasionally

*(in the city I live people are not open-minded at all, some turned their back when they found out I was a ''''''''''drug user'''''''', some turned their back when I started talking about my depression because it made them feel uncomfortable or simply they feel bad because they think that no one can help me, so hardly they help me when I need it)(me and my friends are all 18, pretty young I get it)*

started tapering off, and now it's has been quite a while since I took my last SNRI, still using a sleep aid because sleeping is not that easy for me

While on medication and while tapering off I exercised awareness, meditation, gratefulness and healthy ways to cope with 'bad days', I was back on track!

but being no-longer medicated I feel myself, I really do feel myself and I feel way more grounded in reality

I don't talk to anyone, never, I don't know who I could turn for some help, and being alone is cool, I like it, but not like this, I'm a teenager, and I never get to spend time with my family, (never did since I was 12), I don't see my friends, and I am holding on and hoping that things will change when I'll move out, but it will probably be a year from now, and I'm slowly going mad, I am becoming an asshole (my friends do not agree, they think that I seem ''normal'' in this period) but yet I don't know what kind of social out cast I will become if I continue like this, and I am slowly becoming one, meeting new people and getting them to know me is becoming progressively more difficult, and now I just feel a lot to hate towards any kind of friendship or relationship, I am changing in something I don't want to be and I feel stuck because I keep throwing up roadblocks for myself

it's cool being ''unique'' and shit, but I still get fucked up when I can, and I still feel lonely, but not in the meaning that I am always alone by myself, I just feel like I am the only person on this fucking planet that cares about my existence, I feel that no one knows me, and I don't deserve it, not at all, I had tons of close friends and people always told me that I am one of kind, and that they'll probably never forget about me..... but yet, no one hits my phone anymore, no one wants to hear what I have to say, I just miss a hug, a real one, one with meaning, I miss being reassured by my best friends, I tried everything to make the relationships work again, with no success, too much time has passed since I had someone by me

I just want to see what this world can throw at me and how far I can make it, and when I'll feel like it, I'll probably kill myself.",11.271448467966573,6.066022456824516,10.615535376044573,70.10787688022286,60.504178272980496,13.883543175487466,42.229749303621176,10.621296500359557,4.191984,2796,97,581,43,25,913,283,718,0.174,0.682,0.14400000000000002,-0.9752,0,4,3,0,0,1,87.0,0,0,11,8,46,45,7,1,18,2,55,14,4,8,9,129,132,60,1,9,26,1,13,5,5,4,6,2,1,2,35,40,0,3,27,1,1,12,25,21,1,8,26,21,108,24,75,93,15,103,0,7,4,5,35,36,5,10,58,415,143,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438558063309902,0.0,0.04029991252617264,0.08386337559074511,0.0,0.0,0.06853903924451403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049977119385606006,0.03523652443234181,0.0,0.0,0.04486117598325255,0.0,0.0,0.047346644386906285,0.19374865054004425,0.08415345462745091,0.12287839802113724,0.2226240204566408,0.0,0.0,0.05288519569350098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05137984898316456,0.0,0.10661994031598328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04023535757791125,0.0,0.0,0.03249983918052909,0.0,0.17361646261461686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05844082189446461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045290708000807284,0.0,0.047506800166366506,0.0,0.28028687559856474,0.07200269743136188,0.048385961456432716,0.055203956824934834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055254212774719084,0.1946706672250884,0.13976479896780536,0.15797211821683882,0.0,0.05727992834264495,0.04226793782861031,0.04030453429520939,0.0,0.0,0.04989779588809514,0.0,0.0,0.04514295638818185,0.049753455393726914,0.0,0.0,0.05679748761509605,0.0,0.13511163728507447,0.0,0.0,0.05005242509535175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044792334757306096,0.055753285512728866,0.15743219834168576,0.13847560332995662,0.04107768201508371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309935305734868,0.0,0.04449865845461674,0.044596937018634576,0.0,0.05637778437804295,0.0,0.08568603218706411,0.0,0.04768384252980177,0.06727652044101094,0.05109141482927637,0.0,0.10978726746959112,0.0,0.20306585192301105,0.0,0.0,0.10176676709119564,0.0,0.040223859231310014,0.053560646001142714,0.03704524954130622,0.037366372389543656,0.15546725518658874,0.04867065677960663,0.0,0.0,0.049375235254245,0.0,0.0,0.10575965518621376,0.05366776414047888,0.2731852048023548,0.03832676417011547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048101703228702,0.044001932068556564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05126862278609299,0.1629991550598108,0.04822007138540672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053600021196728485,0.0,0.05735918963580727,0.09685069738489713,0.0,0.0,0.10820818751816884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04007518124249797,0.0,0.0,0.1606293717371223,0.045876632962030865,0.0,0.0,0.05172852291085718,0.1250588438800568,0.056644755089094674,0.1008604098060938,0.05137014416943846,0.042698512606995885,0.07759123560011631,0.0,0.0,0.1426759954752571,0.0,0.12073368791126933,0.042131482561205566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03788987435653438,0.08100927294961778,0.0,0.0,0.05762971485172377,0.0,0.0334794088667754,0.09687095801098583,0.0,0.1200211708991653,0.11754014602398015,0.0,0.0,0.04815344608094193,0.05598937835571805,0.06842817959421564,0.16444198657381967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704814539058556,0.0,0.0,0.08917072632799218,0.08000052321732709,0.0404228755528671,0.0,0.04531008822813716,0.046715567759382716,0.04547257625765575,0.0,0.0,0.0485778355885793,0.0,0.07337458932962322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055097721479771725,0.0,0.03245196211941103
mentalhealth,Redhead333,2019/04/20,"Needing a lot of sleep 25M I’ve been dealing with this issue since I was 7. Where I need 12 hours of sleep a night to feel good. Other wise I can’t handle any stress because then I start to downward spiral and have bad thoughts because I’m too stressed. And I’ll be  yarning all day and feeling like I could nap most of the day minus 3 hours. Any work besides laying in bed tires me out quickly, but have fought through it for years. But now it seems to be catching up to me as I get older. Not interested in things I used to be because it tires me out too much. Even just sitting down playing video games tires me out mentally in a few hours. The VA has been trying to figure it out for a year now with no success yet. And it’s not that I’m disinterested in stuff I just don’t have the mental energy to do it. Is this depression? ADHD? Just trying to find something that would point me in the right direction. I’ve also tried everything under the sun. No sugar and no wheat helps a lot but it really hard to maintain unless you’re rich. Also CBD helps but I don’t want to get tested positive at work. Also everything seems to eventually just stop working after a few months of trying it, making me think I was just excited for it to work so it did for that small time frame. The doc wants to try medication right away but I talked him out of it to try and pinpoint where my engergy is going or not going. Thank you! If it helps I’ve always had trouble learning in school but don’t know if that was just from being tired all the time too. Thank you! Sorry for the book just trying to give every detail, I’m also an INFP.",2.0147321428571416,3.834410056547618,3.5279999999999987,89.71700000000001,77.89880952380952,6.146666666666667,21.61666666666667,7.03164865440522,0.5175209523809521,1273,35,271,14,30,420,180,336,0.128,0.758,0.115,-0.5666,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,5,22,16,1,2,15,0,24,8,2,2,2,57,49,23,0,8,20,0,3,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,21,13,1,1,10,5,1,3,10,6,0,0,9,4,21,10,48,34,8,47,0,1,0,0,11,23,0,8,21,181,42,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09874923341491301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628369235393616,0.06836984951140428,0.0,0.0,0.11175328361861904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771989662662706,0.0,0.0686063372504952,0.150265432110177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06560397368366627,0.0,0.0,0.10598233606818123,0.08471096956965729,0.07077065130069514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05427078515495287,0.0,0.0692295686486456,0.0,0.14769350117225044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309260094315223,0.05870039875118802,0.0,0.0,0.07509950448713212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858581382985729,0.07882244620795162,0.09339524084796884,0.06891810705550454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360584076228112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522520546095346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427549788918981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576140582015204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04515704784826169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04014283557844742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13971155071190394,0.0,0.0,0.054847369853669926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277499945049623,0.16561080323282068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06558522556576095,0.0,0.060402484837040915,0.12185215484419988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710852792121009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767474096495988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052638533079436535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14034100162165694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315778385388199,0.0,0.14960420897010118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796971284878944,0.0,0.16445345757969218,0.0,0.0,0.06325646999080846,0.0,0.09197966426528452,0.058158500482597,0.0,0.0,0.06869561598519447,0.1882449317888661,0.0,0.0940620014393576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604303441852942,0.0,0.15129738355956188,0.0,0.0,0.05458836184039347,0.052649544767172166,0.0,0.06523172827038007,0.09582492999595946,0.3777573030074308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3905038422038564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709662419223912,0.0,0.0,0.09692890922363873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392753497025248,0.0,0.0,0.058369355281883264,0.0,0.0,0.10582620844080486
mentalhealth,assortedpartypoppers,2019/04/20,"Paranoia? I think I have some serious underlying problems. So, I have paranoia towards other people, thinking they're mocking me, thinking they're being twisted. But the thing is I feel like there is something that doesn't like me, and knows something that I'm trying to hide. I often think that something is controlling my mum and making her behave in a certain way towards me. And something has found out something important about the world and who I am and is targeting me. Sometimes I feel it doesn't exist but actually exists in a more insidious, seeping, cruel, subtle way. When I was try to calm myself down from getting extremely angry when I think my mum is doing something, I sometimes get this extreme anger, like ""but someone HAS to be doing something!"" Like at that point I feel like it's essential something has to happen towards me. And I had an uncontrollable ""screaming"" episode, just when faced with the idea that my mum isn't doing anything. And then I had this ""but something must hate me and be after me, something IS happening"" episode. And then I think the ""evil thing"" is inside me lmao. Very dramatic. It's distorting my view of the world. I feel like there's some kind of entity. Something that realises how I feel and is communicating it to other people and is trying to give it all to some higher power.

Sometimes I don't know what's real. So I'm just wondering what kind of things could encompass this? Does anyone experience this? It's not full blown ""the government is after me"". It's extremely subtle, more like a parallel universe, that is almost tangible, like I'm the only one in the vicinity where it's happening, like self absorption.",5.853260997067451,7.363845587096777,6.311260997067452,74.91143695014664,67.32258064516128,8.991202346041055,33.12316715542522,9.339509955726095,3.2306451612903224,1332,59,222,26,22,431,144,310,0.131,0.755,0.114,-0.8249,1,0,11,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,2,13,22,5,1,12,0,32,1,1,3,3,50,58,23,0,3,7,3,5,9,0,1,0,1,0,1,27,13,0,1,16,0,0,0,5,9,0,1,4,7,32,13,25,49,7,25,0,0,1,0,7,16,0,6,16,166,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.07457854640758921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652733665934443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343725625271247,0.0,0.06289022665341018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571572334054361,0.061018138081090724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687893026527697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475708271159788,0.0,0.0,0.1932106972023469,0.16379140631111727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379468675334194,0.0,0.0,0.07985650020757902,0.07331261563205595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027437838205086,0.0,0.0,0.07545262162383443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627310062159951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15916713052230708,0.08400097817933479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360310133792806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051013440180516435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178670438078933,0.0581236983865501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10596519794279133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224513704713148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312719834482316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698694790123078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972662867230446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06475358726627035,0.6471820202441126,0.22675510032096646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15231761187784473,0.29381548209264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566010950812634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305758960055438,0.0,0.12132321585018666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08287828648338913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,uk_35,2019/04/20,"Head is hurting I have suffered from depression and anxiety for the past 3 years. I have had medication which have worked for a few years.

My mental health is seriously taking a big dip. It's effecting my family. I feel lost.

It's hard to describe I've spoke to my doc but to be fair no one is really interested anymore. What is the point.",0.9107189542483668,3.4567628823529404,3.494901960784315,83.46316993464055,89.29411764705881,7.7281045751634,22.26143790849673,8.515128840125781,1.9753477124183003,268,10,54,8,9,93,50,68,0.208,0.6940000000000001,0.098,-0.404,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,4,0,9,3,1,1,0,4,13,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,3,3,6,1,6,9,1,5,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898470935023853,0.0,0.24611500256857485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21374589345904724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339497831949381,0.0,0.12548070352615007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223089078365399,0.0,0.25469096201446745,0.2637899408725922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26566793107240433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27090362144548463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500021674019082,0.2500939899017294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816439754877271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369035043501002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345980516162401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898214975629682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18659071669639327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066854856113845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196228529599673
mentalhealth,HelpsaveAfamily,2019/04/20,"Please help a desperate family on the brink of collapse My husband is severely ill suffering from PTSD, OCD and Bipolar 1 and we have run out of financial resources after a year and a half battle.  We are about to lose our home and sincenew year we can't pay the deductible to get him into long term treatment.  Please donate to our gofundme page, his name is Brian Abston and has a more lengthy story of what's been happening, his condition and why we are desperate.  Please anything helps and we can't put into words the appreciation for those who can help before we lose him which would destroy me and the kids.  Please help us contiue the fight for his treatment and help save our family.",9.369338422391856,7.665103809160308,8.598282442748097,72.30470101781172,60.52671755725192,11.78676844783715,37.86386768447837,10.504223727775694,3.8356096692111934,553,21,100,10,6,174,85,131,0.191,0.62,0.189,-0.3408,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,10,0,0,2,1,7,3,0,9,0,11,2,0,0,0,22,13,9,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,4,18,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,6,0,1,1,0,17,1,15,11,3,12,0,3,0,0,25,5,0,0,5,67,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478690498063415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869418600675892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629941251972642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287682831809544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12334895625395782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.467480007168992,0.0,0.13991803965655547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12344266922440406,0.0,0.3121032364027858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6124646325652002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630542434848967,0.1402241697873837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758196438413918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778713213007046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586640619309394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908841650218796,0.0,0.0,0.17965165741833256
mentalhealth,Speedygonzales24,2019/04/20,"Depression, Anxiety, and Sex My girlfriend has anxiety and depression due to the environment she grew up in, and as she goes to therapy she uncovers more abuse. The more she uncovers, the more panic attacks and depressive episodes she has per week. We have an active and healthy sex life, and so far even with the panic attacks and depressive episodes, we still have plenty of healthy, happy sex/sexual activity in between. However, as her depression and anxiety intensify, there's something that worries me. This week was a *really* bad week for her, and she told me last night that she's worried that I'll start to spend too much time taking care of her, and not just being with her. I'm also worried that because she's a huge people pleaser, she'll try to push herself to have sex when she doesn't feel like it. 

​

Like I said, her mental health hasn't noticeably affected anything *yet,* but I want to get out ahead so that I know how to handle this. What's the key here? Sex is an important part of any relationship, but not as important as mental and physical well being. What can I do to give allowances for a bad day, but avoid making her feel delicate, unwanted, or un-sexy?",5.362316666666665,6.7644531733333375,5.994819444444445,77.12956250000002,68.37777777777778,10.069444444444443,32.28472222222222,10.270032843473604,3.4899388888888883,944,41,172,25,16,307,128,225,0.18600000000000005,0.706,0.108,-0.9525,1,1,1,0,1,0,38.0,2,0,0,1,14,17,2,3,10,0,14,6,0,4,0,33,27,24,0,2,7,0,2,2,1,1,2,1,0,0,10,16,0,1,3,0,1,2,4,12,1,0,3,3,26,5,25,21,5,21,0,5,0,4,24,6,0,1,15,119,36,0,0.0,0.1269100029805314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565729140603756,0.0,0.1160556225846504,0.13015259689749886,0.07283971712648714,0.0,0.2458207693216255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814390921402708,0.0,0.0,0.2437103385957628,0.0,0.0,0.1788678072481393,0.06529437712779101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092076488724604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06907826892993818,0.0,0.4612763092664099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074635323306976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108317918758584,0.07652071244439325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596151007085857,0.10275142705602576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402253431011078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385486605442288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05886586031350605,0.08731043712229968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565625289607864,0.10465885899757248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714979779727479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215887062464072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873951917657948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10051719609400386,0.0,0.0,0.12194752789409392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513453069271419,0.0,0.11599167344912388,0.0,0.07425785598444289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861858077556457,0.0,0.0,0.1149980194714237,0.0,0.0,0.10188787828007877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245991941095768,0.0,0.0,0.07581430426885885,0.0,0.08553964545394316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053476560248135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224917119980105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06245776919084834,0.0,0.0,0.102349943327579,0.0,0.07272190127062625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317733225023997,0.0,0.2577559463772938,0.0,0.09630639839404674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.326331786770706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13015259689749886,0.0
mentalhealth,hahaxd1235,2019/04/20,"what to do if my sister is very manic and wont check herself into hospital? My sister is bipolar and is having a extremely terrible manic episode. She is completely insane at the moment and my family had to take her keys away from her and try and keep her from leaving the house tonight. it got so bad when we were trying to keep her safe from leaving that we eventually just had to restrain her and take her to the hospital. Problem is you are unable to get her into the psych ward unless she is willing to check herself in as an adult. She is 21 but has a childish type behavior and is literally just running around town completely insane at the moment. the hospital said if she knows her name, date of birth, and what day it is and isnt willing to go in that theres nothing they can do, all we can do is call the cops on her if shes a danger to herself which she kinda is tbh. my parents refuse to get the police involved though. Im so frustrated about the whole situation. What are my options and the best things to do? im so mad that the hospital takes a crazy persons word over their sane family that is just trying to get her help and wont listen to us when she doesnt want to check herself in.",7.940842572062081,5.5829292113821145,8.289541759053954,75.4627383592018,63.796747967479675,11.384478935698445,35.77827050997783,9.800150414767053,3.2051756097560986,950,33,194,15,11,316,124,246,0.146,0.812,0.042,-0.9802,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,4,1,2,1,12,8,3,0,16,0,32,1,0,0,1,38,46,23,0,5,8,3,0,0,0,4,1,2,0,2,11,17,0,5,1,0,3,2,4,6,0,0,5,2,33,2,32,37,3,22,0,0,0,0,40,12,0,5,8,151,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245771257072932,0.0,0.0,0.13147914071196154,0.0,0.11684485823265815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685940632549607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289536890708446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934508730923686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025034369520424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26384776977251273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21934013094856547,0.0,0.07953167384990455,0.0,0.11192357144945653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379947724099193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16147308173012362,0.0,0.0,0.30232050667691457,0.0,0.0,0.2487719144886985,0.0,0.0,0.07690789314069398,0.0,0.0,0.2963545465187081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427712761300126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538787780437924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12219105055816495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339046015386896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311590136224447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729950498906556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156545634811044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929705571819866,0.0,0.1374912849995796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850321824291525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833174724279176,0.0,0.0,0.11546594975014793,0.08254080534521255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15623908689500948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,-trojainus-,2019/04/20,"I didn’t think it could get this bad. I am completely, and utterly, alone. I am at my lowest possible point. My gf of 2.5 years picked up and moved in with another guy last week. And I have been sitting in “our” house since then, with no one to talk to, no one to cry to, no one at all. I have no friends because I didn’t need any when she was around. Immediately after she left, I was in pieces for days. But now? I’m terrified. I’ve stopped crying. I have no emotions other than...empty and darkness. But the pain is beyond anything I’ve imagined. And I don’t know what it means. People say it gets better, but how can anything, even time, fix something so so broken? The situation that I’m in seems impossible. How could this happen. I’ve been betrayed, forgotten, disposed of like trash. There’s nothing left for me. I’m just an empty, soulless body wandering around aimlessly, with no hope of even slight happiness. I’ve been reading posts online saying, “one year later, finally starting to feel better!” God, I cannot feel like this for a year. I just can’t. I can’t live like this. I’m terrified of being alone now and the only thing that eases this pain is sitting outside and watching cars go by. This visual contact with people is just barely enough to keep my sanity. I have just enough mental capacity left to not make any bad decisions, for fear it’ll only make me feel worse, if that’s possible. This won’t get better. It can’t. I am so desperate for some help, for a friend, for an embrace. This is impossible.",2.131412803532008,4.3900721192053,3.61348344370861,87.08554525386316,79.46357615894041,6.675673289183223,23.311699779249448,7.793537801064563,1.2196367328918325,1188,40,239,20,30,391,159,302,0.22,0.647,0.133,-0.978,1,2,1,0,0,0,54.0,1,0,0,3,18,15,0,1,7,0,29,3,1,5,1,44,51,18,0,5,9,0,3,3,3,2,2,2,0,1,19,13,0,2,9,1,0,3,15,5,0,4,7,6,22,10,34,39,5,36,0,0,1,0,12,14,0,4,19,153,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143206947540534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569331935366002,0.09690717541723083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210246506970526,0.16454126528757956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15432849896635467,0.056336483172155026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24520570801702346,0.0,0.10265433965941652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689735913439948,0.0,0.0,0.14757474587022018,0.0,0.20303124554168334,0.05960125368094951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395657115379024,0.0,0.1909827202323067,0.0,0.12208097890590924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399470355519536,0.14018628117340315,0.06602265031960979,0.0,0.10123819433809153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280213212222187,0.0,0.14485204434487722,0.0,0.05252265282010871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915072586767853,0.08172395759415034,0.09837950629096297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06194509859221602,0.0,0.0,0.09179083222178017,0.0,0.10663669203681043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214438514611601,0.0,0.0,0.0507899101706073,0.07533210650079666,0.0,0.0,0.3012336899026229,0.0,0.0,0.1354506844561998,0.0,0.08160581399444218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233779939433842,0.0,0.0,0.10066909474606868,0.0,0.0,0.09313449638848433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09822453680146706,0.0,0.06852595877644471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867650602461905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504963271181674,0.1405744306231235,0.19667619046512524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814048125094374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736384028893884,0.20837233295767493,0.08850984179013723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244190721678114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698725309232538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841328729046744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644821294589743,0.10388046534651883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114704307816158,0.0,0.0,0.0654131559949181,0.0,0.0,0.07726466479222847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428120183548624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061397680458442995,0.0592170165382275,0.0,0.0,0.05388903635766423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413126098738629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418071434812764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854035670573676
mentalhealth,UnicornFromOoo,2019/04/20,"I’m unsatisfied but acknowledge my privilege. I am sad and unmotivated Havent been feeling good and it feels like it’s going to stay like this for a long time 

I’m tired of working 
I’m tired of being unhealthy 
I feel ugly
Kinda wish my dog would die 

Tired of everything. My mom bought me a computer monitor and I’m just not happy


I’m so over everything


My neck and my back have been in pain for years 

My knees recently started to hurt 

I’ve been in need of new feet for maybe 3 years now 

My teeth are ugly 

I feel so damaged and un-repairable",0.4898496240601489,2.847211017543863,2.8015037593984964,89.4805263157895,87.94736842105263,6.415037593984962,21.30075187969925,7.7094869923839395,1.053064661654135,432,15,93,9,14,147,72,114,0.401,0.515,0.084,-0.9945,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,0,0,2,0,9,8,4,0,0,17,23,8,1,3,3,1,4,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,4,0,0,4,4,11,5,12,17,0,14,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,11,49,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409247417242375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16748860204209062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900787178220561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263975049786153,0.11529103359483035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917168714291104,0.1353592133080268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179369367826486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727623200582242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576857773959454,0.0,0.0,0.14281762065770662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621294891085622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890081570109331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966239733133667,0.0,0.15586333640372765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17172138025700534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15934484185660974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422671354218605,0.17201129266863613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941028975817889,0.5564531609443384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558085353757048,0.0,0.0,0.1174877128939872,0.0,0.0,0.11464084476216604,0.0,0.0,0.20784889391088548
mentalhealth,adorable_entity,2019/04/20,"I don't know how to describe this but I feel so fucking hopeless about myself Im not doing well mentally, I binge when I am stressed I tried to stop but then it gets so painful I do it, I am Procrastinating, sleeping too much and neglected my assignments, not managing time well, I feel sso anxious in class recently because I feel so insecure with my skills,how ppl view me, I'm sure nobody is actually thinking abt me, it's just me but I don't know why im like this, I reflected on myself and noticed I've been running away from my problems and not facing it, I want to overcome but I feel so scared, scared, scared just scared and I don't know how to take that leap of faith, I feel so doubtful of my own potential, I am having a breakdown just writing this I don't know who else or where else I can throw out this feeling I don't know how to feel better and I don't know just I don't know i feel like ill never get there I don't know how help me I.. I why am I. Like this I know I can change myself but why am I such a coward I don't want to be mediocre I want to do my best for myself... I thought I improve myself but then I fall back into this c cycle and I feel like lost and just want to sleep 24/7",-0.33593523856249163,1.7495158136882158,1.9415233656322848,96.25352876241877,88.58174904942966,4.914460934625292,19.890715074205815,6.3737218528115,-0.0015157856003922274,941,30,222,10,31,317,120,263,0.269,0.611,0.12,-0.9921,0,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,0,0,0,4,23,23,1,7,2,0,23,6,3,4,2,61,53,26,0,5,15,0,9,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,12,10,0,2,21,0,0,3,13,13,2,0,3,10,49,10,19,49,3,17,1,3,1,1,3,6,1,2,12,150,61,4,0.0,0.0,0.09017788411554924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439590187116214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682132656547499,0.0710568407876832,0.0,0.05633168760205705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697757687457777,0.08172827839966736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775650182218013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543917755038372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4205230439938482,0.1320340604541802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854306601215552,0.09655980933492134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619398255960012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19963522194854375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457070280708112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18058553918970344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087537350179218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931265684352146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793127052135361,0.0,0.071271541561062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520829430271712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098329724329687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842296257685156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124276982672824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700702437596491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495153544026466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725808773780045,0.10585423281941993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870944181232978,0.0,0.06948009088355246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059211975766460936,0.0,0.07336244844339926,0.05388444912330359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273966617656812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180209629314085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617363353646644,0.0,0.25015433157906397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,Tjesus1,2019/04/20,"I intentionally ignore advice about my depression. I had some major surgery when I was 9 (20 now) and since I feel like I've been stood on the edge of the world, hoping for something/someone to push me so I don't have to jump?",2.182659574468083,3.824398276595748,3.80526595744681,88.70875000000002,76.87234042553192,6.402127659574468,22.388297872340427,7.1686216300943375,0.5793872340425534,177,5,39,2,4,59,40,47,0.136,0.747,0.116,-0.2263,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,6,8,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,4,1,7,2,6,4,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331256975166773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3817590533350982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22411375402233516,0.3166483315581159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402339762892665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21654302492570196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666499142753749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755529517462051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
mentalhealth,artsymeme,2019/04/20,"I can't tell if I'm going crazy I've lived with my grandma for years and she keeps pushing my boundaries. I go into long depressive episodes where I don't clean my room but I don't need her to do it. I don't trust her. She rummages through my things, takes them, moves them to other places, throws stuff out without asking. I'm in bed right now feeling like I'm gonna throw up because she did it again and went through everything. I don't know how I know I just do. She took a lot of my stuffed animals and some sweaters I like and just put them in garbage bags. I'm so scared and so tired that honestly if she does it again I'm going to break. I know even now if I get up right now I'm going to relapse. I'm 17 and she loves to bring that up for things she wants. It took me years to knock before coming in and that involved her yelling at me for feeling uncomfortable that she would come in when I was naked and that she has some sort of right to see. Not just this but she holds everything against me. She cancelled an appointment with my doctor once because I didn't say good morning before leaving in the morning for school. And yet there will be days and even weeks where she is sweet and I get so scared because I know that one day I'll come home to her screaming in my face about something or other or just flat out refusing to tell me why she's mad. There's days we don't talk. There's weeks we don't talk. Sometimes she'll force me into hugs that I've expressed I'm not okay with ""I don't care if you like it or not."" I feel so defenseless because it's been going on and getting worse for so many years and I just want to escape. I'm so scared I'll be too mentally fucked to work and I keep hoping for some break to get a job and run. If I can't I will die.",2.529910246821238,3.4257641937172782,3.3223373223635018,95.54247382198956,74.6020942408377,6.5042632759910255,24.114061331338817,6.5431188927421005,0.40307524308152587,1390,40,335,10,28,440,171,382,0.16699999999999998,0.73,0.103,-0.9818,1,0,1,0,1,0,25.0,2,1,3,1,29,19,2,3,4,1,23,6,1,1,0,68,68,33,1,10,19,0,3,3,0,5,2,3,4,0,19,27,0,4,7,0,0,18,14,7,0,1,7,8,57,12,43,54,4,58,0,1,1,3,34,22,1,14,19,205,76,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580148147169059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22379182521294871,0.0,0.15619525895128328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357535879601994,0.0,0.0,0.23717984346720125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757063356457795,0.0,0.07904958414427167,0.0,0.09525267339725874,0.0,0.0,0.0939402492062496,0.08031689478683154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123904242322547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497106687448587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921948073037407,0.06556732240132372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484870670309794,0.19180408836613005,0.0,0.2608021409438941,0.07698032450768921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09206236283075872,0.09115779297917233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09107703258880824,0.16315574604354138,0.0,0.0,0.2017585418803685,0.0,0.0,0.09718128195868307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345165432503363,0.0,0.08104301614815376,0.08122200561721467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07802768365803389,0.08283461903028451,0.0,0.0,0.09305004916640312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924921905107908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754712725110944,0.0,0.06805336668862046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774221576383024,0.06219219222871013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958900860252524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226378834563097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351376795187181,0.0,0.07298677473363226,0.27566199471854336,0.09288579532888984,0.0731364114090994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065637457484998,0.09077231280772127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506561633813973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900679269825373,0.14753783695528302,0.16043872829476166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194849766933676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548708101936644,0.0,0.0,0.20394089403101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826790237002157,0.0,0.14724002340551165,0.0,0.0,0.08508055397119575,0.08281676032336667,0.0,0.0,0.08847220232634087,0.0,0.06681659890903809,0.0,0.09353119318532616,0.06519755261538476,0.0,0.0,0.17730904580629034
mentalhealth,InkyEmbers,2019/04/20,"Everybody kinda just ignores me I am a 16 year old female.  I was in class last week and I was talking to someone and they straight up just ignored me and this other girl just looked at me and said ""People kinda just ignore you, don't they""

She wasn't trying to be me, but oh my god I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive or overreacting, but looking back they do. My mother ignores me all the time, my brother has ignored and hated me my whole life, my dad is a huge ball of rage all the time to the point I don't even try to have a relationship anymore. My friends make me feel so goddamn lonely. They never come up and talk to me, I always come up to them. I listen to them and try to help them and I'm there at the drop of a hat. I feel invisible around them. Every time i talk at home or school or anywhere really, i get interrupted and ignored. 

I'm just so lonely to the point I just want to isolate myself from everything and everyone. And I've told them all that. And they didn't care. I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm gonna be alone forever. What the hell do I do?",1.166713579307718,2.9039242887029313,3.2116717383035365,91.38581494864971,80.17154811715481,6.019094712818563,21.74229745150248,6.980632752743323,0.4666301255230128,871,26,197,10,22,295,122,239,0.21600000000000005,0.701,0.083,-0.989,0,5,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,10,0,16,14,3,0,10,0,19,1,0,1,4,47,41,19,0,1,12,3,3,1,1,1,1,2,1,1,6,15,0,7,5,1,0,2,7,11,0,0,6,7,41,3,23,31,4,25,1,2,2,0,25,12,1,5,11,135,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13963259812884668,0.0,0.0,0.11218082948400984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267409923266546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001815805718148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036680633274595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745771708074767,0.0,0.0,0.2322705481446129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809434243132516,0.0,0.11359145136819172,0.12882604559670846,0.12116729515498627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20450674451678733,0.09631525401927353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416140190725193,0.0,0.07043775319909222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310658810113318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036683437087284,0.0,0.1352351985244412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409340697498737,0.10989608775635837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522717422589977,0.06586611825552283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22642926410486014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999322785074522,0.0,0.1354445566199383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039813000703875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147064509577906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346703700995526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25489647655144665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636898202749015,0.0,0.0,0.1447459531320019,0.0,0.0,0.1282444525743519,0.0,0.0,0.13644478139774796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423233391799825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11271534511493525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250890166787265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638704993714667,0.0,0.0,0.23584343557171705,0.0,0.0,0.12882604559670846,0.0,0.2746012747359662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952017969466457,0.0,0.1081442686442487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052143256004807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868194966705096
mentalhealth,TophieB,2019/04/20,"I think I might have some mental abnormality I have this phenomenon where my “perspective” is constantly changing. Not my perspective of an idea, literally my physical perspective. For example, in a room there is a set place for everything, and when I walk into that room and see everything how it is. But let’s say the next time I walk into it, it feels as if the whole room shifted to the right or left. If there was a window in the North side of the room, it’s now on the East, and so on. It can really mess with my sense of direction if I’m walking somewhere, but I’m not one of those people who has a bad sense of that. It’s been happening to me ever since I could remember and I’ve asked a couple people if it happened to them too but it didn’t to them. I’ve gotten to learn how to control it, but I’d have to focus really hard in order to. I’ve given up or trying to figure out what it was or explain to people because it never makes sense, as this post probably does. I wonder if this is something that is abnormal and should get checked out. Any reply would be appreciated.",4.511138996138996,4.8197886981982005,6.168159588159586,79.08324324324326,69.67567567567568,9.76628056628057,28.01930501930502,9.784248007369934,2.4173953667953683,849,27,176,19,14,293,123,222,0.042,0.937,0.021,-0.5,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,1,10,2,0,0,12,0,20,0,0,4,2,43,34,23,0,8,14,0,2,0,0,3,0,1,5,0,20,10,0,1,8,0,1,3,4,2,0,1,6,4,14,0,30,22,2,34,0,0,1,0,6,21,0,11,7,129,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347351613316456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224837026780868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704662833090485,0.09275487401200523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16096432392413476,0.0,0.0,0.16443010698715685,0.1706595510435905,0.12148678964141978,0.1683613296288526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315559582927952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763676404014094,0.0,0.0,0.2735018673538868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693629489742697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794969344142001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691078662913245,0.0,0.1363048119033901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176928625715202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16532148371009994,0.15559315481579514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156748912691126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334074816645976,0.1614169317804069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735460341323585,0.0,0.16182310167420805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10310705405285098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31646422154046444,0.0,0.15897404366418302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457265125865089,0.0,0.1640534201304212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495423939073336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236678251996956,0.12994317862731308,0.0,0.121003152613261,0.0,0.0,0.12125123193371562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258677141519627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171396339539941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749751136551134,0.0,0.0,0.08872528948441832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033061511111259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698803824468353,0.0,0.0,0.16501022929391945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080895742813968,0.0,0.0,0.0